Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Ah, fuck that hurts" Jason grumbles as he stumbles in from the fire-escape. There's blood steadily streaming from his side, a lucky hit by one of black-masks goons. He'd mowed the rest of them down easily enough, but the hit had been decent and left his side aching.

He stumbles the familiar path to his med-kit, cussing under his breath as he does. The needle is already threaded, so he immediately starts the painstaking process of stitching himself back together. It's not a process he likes by any stretch of the imagination, but it's prety familiar now. It's easy to fall into the paces of it, now years removed from when old, weathered hands would hold the needle more steady than he'd ever imagined and would stitch him back together with such care. Care now void if the jagged scarring covering his body is any indication. The stitches had to work, but that didn't mean they had to be pretty.

Jason's just finished tying off the final stitch when a knock sounds at the door. He immediately grabs at the holster on his thigh, relaxing slightly at the reassurance he still had his gun. A knock sounds again, more persistent this time. He doesn't draw his gun, but he does keep his grip on it as he approaches the door silently. On the one hand, this is a safehouse several of his friends had used in the past but on the other, nobody ever used his safehouses. It isn't unreasonable that somebody would know the location of this place, but it is odd. He looks through the peep hole, sighing when he sees who's at the door.

"Would it kill you to call first Harper?" He grumbles while swinging the door open for Roy, who brushes his way past him and inside without acknowledging him.

It takes a moment for him to realise the kid in Roy's arms is not Lian, and that the girl looks eerily like Kori.

"Kori's dead" Roy gasps, and it's then he notices just how dishelved the archer looks. Then words catch up to him.

Jason stumbles, throat burning and through blurry eyes he can see Roy swallow to force back tears.

He hadn't spoken to Kori in months now and hadn't seen her in person in years. She'd left to space for some high-profile mission,and thinking back, she had been vague on the details. It wasn't easy to maintain contact when one person was in space indefinitely, he'd learnt that the hard way with Kyle. So, slowly they'd stopped talking, but he'd always figured she'd be back soon enough. They always came back because of something. He'd always just figured they'd have time. He shouldn't have, given their job, but he had anyway.

Kori was gone.

Kori was one of the best friends he'd ever had. She hadn't always understood, but she'd always tried. Even when they were younger and she was first with Dick, she'd always been kind and time hadn't changed that. He knew it still played on her, sometimes, her relationship with Dick. He'd always thought they'd make it. But then it blew up and she'd never told him the details, but he knew Dick was back with Babs. Even putting aside his own shaky history with Babs, he'd never liked her as Dick's girlfriend either. Granted they had their own issues, but she was never all that nice to him. And he knew from a night Dick got drunk in his apartment (becuase he was still who Dick came to with the ugly things he didn't want to tell anybody else) that Babs had blamed him after he was raped. If he hadn't liked her before that, after? Well, there was a reason he never directly spoke to Oracle these days and had Roy help him stop all her attempts at tracking him.

But Kori, god he always loved Kori. She loved fiercely, and she hadn't let the past define how she saw him now. She'd been bright and fun and a better friend than he had ever deserved. She had saved his life, a hundred times over. For awhile there she'd been one of the only good things in his life. His favourite pictures were the ones of Kori with him and Roy, taken in different places they'd seen while traveling as the Outlaws. He had them all over his actual apartment. She'd been a lighthouse in the night, one he'd never see again.

"The JL called me, she had me listed as her contact" Roy sniffles, clutching the child in his arms tightly "it was a mission for them, that she was on. They contacted Komandr after she went MIA. They officially declared her dead two days ago" he explains, and Jason's not sure he's going to win this battle against crying.

There's a snuffle, and the bundle in Roy's arm stirs, bright green eyes blinking open. Now that he's actually looking, this kid is much smaller than Lian, probably only eight months old, if that. She's a deadringer for Kori, from her orange skin to her bright green eyes. However there's different features, like the shape of her eyes and the colour of her hair, that aren't Kori but still distinctly familiar. Too familiar.

"Uncle Jay-Jay, meet Mar'iandr Grayson" Roy whispers, waving the babies little hand at him and handing her into his arms.

He moves to hold her immediately, her bright green eyes staring up at him. She starts to smile, hand reaching out to brush against his nose.

"Kori, said she left us as Mari's gaurdians, if anything happened" Roy says, voice soft as he too watches the baby "i've already got my hands full with Lian and while i'll always help out, i don't think i can take on a second kid full time. She's already in your alias' custody, as far as the courts are concerned"

He barely registers Roy's words, completely entranced by the bundle in his arms. He starts to sway and Mar'i giggles, showing off the two teeth she has so far. Her eyes are shining, like his did. It almost feels right, having a kid in his arms. It wasn't something he planned, or ever thought he could have but…

Sometimes he did wonder if things had gone differently, if he'd be able to have his own kids. He loved the Alley kids like his own and Damian, well, there was time he'd been the only parent that kid had. He figured he'd show up any day now, with Bruce acting the way he was. He'd almost done it, with Tyler, almost took him in. He still kept an eye on what was happening with him, and last he'd seen his mum was clean. He'd keep watching, in case, but he'd made peace with that awhile ago. It just didn't seem like it was in the cards for him.

"Well, what do you think Jaybird?" Roy asks, but they both know he doesn't have to. They both know he's already made up his mind.

Mar'i giggles again, hand reaching up to pat against his face and he loses the battle against crying.

Roy folds into his side, holding tight as he shakes from his own tears. He tucks Mar'i to his chest and she just moves with him, gripping at his chest. He only realises where he's holding her when she kicks out and it hits directly against his new stitches, but he doesn't pull away. Nothing could make him pull away now.

For awhile that's how they stay, huddle in his shitty safehouse's shitty kitchen, crying into one another. Memories of Kori fly through his mind and it only makes it harder to stop crying. There's an ache in his chest now, a gaping wound that he knows from experience will never truly heal. They weren't there in time for Kori and they'd never get the chance to be again. But she'd trusted them with this, and he was going to do everything he could to honour that wish. He wasn't going to fail her again. Neither of them would.

"I can't stay in Gotham" Jason mumbles, as he finally gets his tears under control and Roy just nods, looking more dishelved then when he'd walked in.

"I know you don't love it, but maybe we could go to Star for now?" Roy suggests, voice croaking as he wipes at his face "Lian's with Dinah now. It'd let us be close and have a few extra hands around to help. Then, once we've got her settled, then we can work out what's next"

And it's not a bad plan. All he really knows is they can't stay in Gotham, not with the bats sniffing around evryr corner. They might not bother him, considering they were pretty strained as of recently, but he could never quite tell. They'd take Mar'i, if they found out and he wants about to let that happen. He wants about to let her end up with Bruce.

"Yeah, Star sounds good, for now. We can go in the morning" Jason agrees with a sigh, rubbing a hand up and down Mar'i back as she leans into his chest, eyes blinking slowly.

"Yeah, i think we could all use some sleep" Roy agrees with a yawn, his head coming to rest against his shoulder so he can look down at Mar'i.

"She looks so much like him, too" Roy mumbles and Jason just humms

"Yeah, she does"

Slowly, with the ease that only comes from familiarity they move through the tiny apartment to get ready for bed. Jason doesn't set Mar'i down once as he goes about his night rountine, something that seems to facinate Mar'i enough to keep her occupied while he does it. She's a charming kid and oh so clearly her parents child.

He'd always wanted a kid, but he hadn't wanted it to happen like this.

"Just you and me, huh kid?" he asks her with a gentle smile and she makes a little squeal, as if agreeing.

She's big enough that she'll be okay in the bed with them, so he lets her fall asleep against his chest. It's not like he'll sleep much tonight anyway. She's quiet as he tucks them in next to Roy, whose laying silently but clearly not asleep. The shake of his shoulders every so often gives him away, but Jason's not about to call him out on it. He runs his fingers through her hair, watching idly as it seems to soothe her to sleep. He lays there blinking at the ceiling long after she's fallen asleep.

He's not sure how he's going to manage any of this, but he knows Roy won't let him do it alone. This is too important to mess up. He can't make a mistake. He has to do this right. For Kori.

For Dick.

He tried not to think about him too much, since the funeral. It just didn't seem right. Dick Grayson couldn't be gone. Through everything he'd always been there, and he might not've been on time and he might've made a hell of a lot of mistakes but he always tried. He'd always been his brother. Now he's gone, nothing more than a headstone in the family cemetery. At least Dick was buried at the manor, which was more than what he got. To be honest he'd been surprised they'd even invited him to the funeral, though he would've gone either way. He'd punched Bruce later, because it didn't seem like he even cared that he was gone.

He had to get out of Gotham, both to honor Kori's wishes and to honor Dick's. If he'd ever truly known him at all, then he knew Dick would've never wanted Bruce to end up with his kid. They'd never spoken about it out loud, about the times Dick lived with Clark or about the times he walk away from fighting Bruce with a split lip or a black eye. He had do to this, and he had to do it right, for both of them.

"I'll look out for her Big Bird, promise"

And he did, always.