Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck let himself into his loft for what was likely the last time. He’d done it, he’d finally brought a house, and he moved in today.

It had all happened so fast, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, or so his Grandma had always said.

It was perfect, and so far from the cold industrial loft. A house in a gated community, three double bedrooms, an office, two bathrooms and an amazing kitchen. A yard. A garage.

It was a dream come true. And he could thank his maternal grandparents for it. When they’d died twenty years ago, they’d left him and Maddie large inheritances. Add to that the trust fund their parents had given them, and Evan Buckley didn’t need to worry about money.

And now he didn’t need to worry about stairs. Nothing sucked more than sleeping on the couch for months on end while his leg healed enough to tackle the stairs to his bed. But it didn’t matter any longer. He would rent the loft out, and move into his own house.

There was very little he wanted to take, but he moved around filling two boxes. His clothes would take up more room, but he’d have help in the form of his friends.

Not those from the 118. Since being injured their contact had lessened. Once that would have broken him, but he was a different man now.

One who kept in contact with friends from his days travelling, one who went to therapy, and separated his work and personal life, if even a little.

He spoke to Eddie a couple times a week. The least amount since they’d meet. And he spoke to Bobby once a week or so. Hen, Chimney and the others less frequently. But it was fine. They checked up on him, they were in contact, he couldn’t ask, or want for more.

Instead he had messaged his friend group for help. Even after moving out of the frat house he’d kept in contact with his old flatmates, and through them Buck had met more people, and found his friendship network growing. Now they were joined by partners and new friends, and though they didn’t all hang out together a lot, they were still close. It was hard after all to get a large group organised enough to meet up frequently.

It was comforting to let himself be drawn in by their group chat, as they tried to talk him into ever increasingly ridiculous house decor. Still their ideas might come in handy, it was a big house after all, and once he’d finished setting up the lounge, his room and the gym, he’d turn to the other rooms.

But first he needed to order furniture to be delivered to the house. He was sort of excited to have furniture that wasn’t show room quality, or on the other side of the spectrum, found on the side of the road.

…

Bucks body ached. His mouth was dry and salty; his ears full of water. All he wanted was to shower and curl up in bed and forget this day had ever happened.

Instead he was pulling yet another person from the dangerous waters below.

It was starting to get a little crowded, but Buck knew that it was better than the alternative, that there had been no survivors. So far their group had managed to stave off serious injury. Until Buck pulled the family of three from the water. A teenage girl, her sister who couldn’t have been older than Chris, and their mother. The girls were okay, but their mom; Buck knew she wouldn’t make it.

It would be comical if it weren’t tragic. His first emergency since he’d been crushed, and it was a crush injury. Given the lack of help available and the poor resources, she was slipping further away by the minute.

He tried to keep the girls distracted by introducing them to Chris. It helped a little, as the boy chattered away, drawing the little girl, Betsy into his orbit. Stacy, the elder girl, was old enough to be aware of the situation. She humoured him though, and sat with the two kids, keeping them from the edge of the truck.

It helped, knowing that he didn’t have to worry about Chris so much. But of course he couldn’t keep the sliver of fear and regret out of his system. He’d brought Chris here. He knew that it wasn’t his fault that theyd been caught in a natural disaster, but he was struggling already with the guilt.

In the meantime he helped another man onto the truck and checked him over quickly. A broken arm but no life threatening injuries. Thankfully.

But giving first aid wasn’t his biggest concern of the moment. There in the water were a multitude of dead bodies, floating by peacefully. A stark contrast to the chaos of his heart.

Buck didn’t hesitate, limping over to Chris and the two girls who sat beside their dying mother. “Hi, how are you feeling?” He asked blocking their view of the water.

“I’m okay mister,” the little girl said. “Well I'm very happy to hear that. I was thinking we could play a game while we wait for the water to go down, how does that sound?”

He got two nods and one shrug. He’d take it. And so while they waited for the water to calm, Buck kept the children occupied. His ADHD helped him split his attention, and he waved the man with the broken arm over, completing first aid while he kept the kids from seeing the horrors around them.

It wouldn’t last.

During the first hour the girls mother slipped away silently. By that time he’d ushered the kids further down the truck, away from their mother. He hadn’t been confident that it was the right choice, but they didn’t need to watch her die.

Instead those that he’d pulled from the water set to caring for the woman in her final moments. There were tears, but the girls seemed calm, Buck didn’t want to think about how they would react once the shock had passed. And it wasn’t just them he worried about.

It was odd, but the little one, Betsy, didn’t fuss as they climbed from the truck and away from her mother. It was like she didn’t notice, or care.

Stacy, the teenager avoided his eyes as she lifted her sister onto her hip, and Buck let it go. It wasn’t the time. She shook her head at him, but let Buck pull her into his side for several long moments.

They needed to find the field hospital, and Buck was going to push aside his exhaustion to get them there.

…

Until he was depositing Chris in Eddie’s arms hours later, Buck felt like time was moving through tar. He stopped to help people, and led his firetruck group through the streets, but he wouldn’t be able to recall most of what happened later.

He did recognise May though, collecting her into his arms when she began to cry at the sight of him. The woman she was helping was pulled from the car and after a moment May returned to her side, continuing to put pressure on the wound.

Buck didn’t like the look of the injury, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Still, he felt relief when they stumbled upon the field hospital.

By this time their group had grown quite large, as survivors joined them in search of safety. Even with the extra people, Buck still didn’t feel safe handing Chris off.

He moved the boy off his hip, and into a piggy back ride, motioning for Stacy to hand him Betsy. The teenager was clearly about to drop, having carried her sister for so long that her arms burned.

Buck felt the burn too, but he was older, stronger and used to pain. And so he settled Betsy to his chest, secured Chris and trudged on, listening to May and Stacy chatter away.

It felt like he blinked and was in front of the medical tents.

It helped that Eddie was one of the first people that Buck saw. He allowed Eddie to take Chris from his back, and then lead Stacy and May to a nurse to get checked. His legs shook, his vision swum, but he locked his knees and blinked with his whole face to keep it together.

Bobby appeared at his side and frantically checked first May and then him, but he waved him away, telling him to focus on May. It was clear that Bobby was divided, but he nodded and followed May to be checked over.

The whole time Buck kept Betsy in his arms, and Chris in his sights. And when the nurse declared Stacy dehydrated but fine Buck breathed a sigh of relief and allowed them to pull Betsy from his arms. The girl was likewise dehydrated, but fine.

It was relief to hear that Chris was okay. Not a scratch on him, and if he cried a little at hearing that no one would judge him.

Eddie carried the boy back to Buck, telling him to say goodnight, because he was taking Chris home. Sleepily, Chris did, adding “love you Bucky,” before he dozed off.

“Thank you for keeping him safe,” Eddie said, laying a hand on Bucks shoulder and squeezing. It felt like he was looking into Bucks very soul as he stared at him with emotional eyes. “Always,” Buck said in response, laying his hand over Eddie’s for a moment.

“I’ll call you in the morning,” Eddie promised, and kept his eyes locked with Bucks until they couldn’t see one another again.

“Wow,” Stacy said from beside him. “That was intense.”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh.
…

Kicking off his shoes, Buck started striping before he’d even closed his door. He’d gone back to the loft on autopilot, hours after Eddie had left with Chris.

He’d not wanted to leave Stacy and Betsy until they were sorted, and child services had been slow and hard to pin down. With no family to stay with, and Stacy a couple years off of 18, they hadn’t been able to return to their apartment. Instead child services had taken them in and were going to place them in a family home for the evening.

Buck had given his number to Stacy, hugged her and Betsy and watched as the girls got in the caseworkers car. Only once lights had disappeared around the corner did Buck move from his spot.

He pushed it from his mind, turning the shower onto hot and ducking his head under immediately. It burned, but in a comforting way, washing away the horror of the day.

Buck didn’t know how he was going to get up the stairs to his bed, but he refused to sleep on the couch one more night. And he was right, it was hard pulling his weary, achy body up the stairs, but it faded when he tumbled into the bed and burrowed under the covers.

…

The next morning Buck was up early. He’d slept like a log, until twenty minutes ago when a nightmare of losing Chris had woken him. He would have called Eddie, but his phone was probably somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.

He was pouring coffee into a travel mug when someone pounded on his door. Worried that something had happened he hastened to the door, only to find a distraught Maddie.

“Maddie, what’s happened,” Buck said ushering his sister in and folding her into his embrace.

She sobbed once before pulling herself together. “I couldn’t get a hold of you,” she said. “I heard from Howie that you were in the tsunami yesterday, and then you wouldn’t answer your phone.”

Buck ran a hand over his big sisters hair, “my phones gone, sorry Mads. By the time I got home last night I was ready to crash. I’m going out in a minute to get a replacement if you want to come with me.”

She looked up at him with big wet eyes and nodded. “I’d love to. But first I’m going to go and pull myself together,” she said, pulling him down to kiss his cheek. Happy with that she strode across the room the bathroom.

Alone again, Buck returned to the kitchen, and filled a second travel mug with coffee. He felt guilty for worrying her, but at the same time, how could Chimney worry his sister like that. He’d been there when Buck had pulled his soggy, dead phone from his pocket. It stood out in Bucks mind, if only because it had been moments after handing Chris over to Eddie.

But Chimney didn’t think about that, instead he worried Maddie unnecessarily. Buck liked the guy, but some times he didn’t understand him.

He could hear Maddie padding up behind him, so he turned with a smile and handed her her cup. “Todays your day off right?” He asked. She nodded sipping the coffee with a hum.

“Well, if you have no plans, I’d like to show you something after we get a phone.”

Maddie raised an eyebrow but nodded willingly. “You can drive,” he said handing her his keys. His leg ached and driving manual wouldn’t help.

She took the keys with a long look but didn’t push. “Let’s go then,” she said waving him out of his apartment.

…

“You own a house.” Maddies voice was incredulous.

“I own a house,” he agreed. “I’m all moved in, tonight’s my first night here. I have an agent checking over the loft tomorrow with a tenant, I thought about selling it, but figured it might come in handy.”

He knew that wasn’t the info Maddie really cared about. “I’m ready to settle down,” he admitted. “Get a couple dogs, focus on my career and find a partner.”

His sister looked thoughtful. “I’m proud of you,” she said finally. “And I’m so happy for you.”

She shimmied closer to him on his brand new couch in his brand new house, and rested her head on his shoulder. And after a minute she asked, “so, dogs?”

Buck laughed. “Yeah, I might have already found two dogs online. They were surrended when their elderly owner died. A Dalmatian and Corgie. I can swing by the centre and see them today if I want.”

“Let’s go,” Maddie said quickly, bouncing off the couch and turning to pull her brother up. He’d known she’d be excited. Their parents hadn’t allowed pets, and neither had Doug. But secretly they’d always wanted a dog.

Buck let her push him towards the door, waving at one of his new neighbours as they pulled in next door. He’d introduce himself later, it seemed that he was about to be the proud dad of two dogs.

…

Buck let himself in the back door of his new house, sweating but happy. He’d woken early again that morning and decided to take the dogs on a walk of their new neighbourhood. And though early, he’d managed to meet a number of his neighbours.

Kind and curious about him, hed found himself surrounded when he stopped to say hi to someone. Before long he’d been added to their community page and talked into hosting a potluck that weekend so he could get to know everyone. He’d posted as such on the page and already, only twenty minutes later, he had a large guest list.

A ping from his phone caught his attention. Opening his messages, his Peru group chat was popping off. They’d learned that Buck had been in the Tsunami and were stressing out. He’d nipped that in the butt, and invited them all over, citing that he was still settling in.

They agreed and the next morning he would be invaded. Until then though, he set the dogs free into the house and settled at his kitchen island. He had some messages to send, mostly to the 118.

….

Buck knocked on Eddie’s door and grinned when Chris yelled his name and came clattering down the hall as soon as his dad had opened the door.

“Hey superman,” Buck greeted, hauling the kid into his arms. Behind him he heard Eddie close the door and couldn’t help but think his friend looked like shit. Lowering himself onto the couch, Buck accepted the can of coke from Eddie and sighed easily when Chris wiggled closer into his lap.

Eddie for his part just looked at them with a small smile. Buck frowned at his friend, but to no surprise Eddie waved him off, instead picking up the remote and switching on a movie. In minutes Chris was absorbed in it, his weight anchoring Buck to the couch in a way that had become soothing.

Emboldened by the cozy atmosphere, Buck lay a palm on Eddie’s chest and tapped twice, finally withdrawing his hand and pointing the cushion Buck had lay down right beside his thigh. For a moment he thought Eddie would refuse. Continue to sit at the other end of the couch and fight of obvious exhaustion.

But he didn’t. He slid down the couch till he lay flat, and placed a hand on Chris’ knee. Buck held his breathe and ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair, and after the second motion, Eddie finally melted into the couch. Before long he was asleep, snoring softly, but Buck didn’t cease his soft motions.

….

He’d spent longer at the Diaz’s then he’d intended, but he wasn’t worried about it. He knew May would be home for the rest of the day, and the dogs were hanging out with Maddie back at his house.

He knew she was trying to be sneaky, but when he’d headed out to check on Chris and Eddie, and shortly May, he’d seen her online shopping for house decor. As long as it was comfortable and nothing like his previous furniture, he’d take it.

Pulling up to the Nash-Grant house, Buck parked and climbed out of the keep with a groan. His leg ached, but he pushed it down as he knocked on the front door.

It was Bobby who opened it, looking surprised to see him. “Buck, are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine Cap, just here to check on May,” Buck said, catching sight of Athena behind Bobby.

“Of course, come in,” Athena said, waving the man in. “She’s in her room, you know where it is. Do you want a cup of tea, I just boiled the jug”

He grinned at the woman, “yes please,” and beelined down the hall, poking his head around the door to see May sitting at her desk typing.

“May,” Buck greeted, knocking on her door. She looked up abruptly, surprise painting her features before it gave way to happiness.

“Buck,” she replied and crossed the room in large steps, thudding into him. He let out a playful grunt, but wrapped the girl in a hug without delay.

After a moment she started to cry softly, and Buck couldn’t be more glad that he’d visited. “The woman I helped yesterday is okay.” May whispered. “I know that she’s okay, but I still dreamt about her dying all night.”

Movement near the door caught his eye, and he tried not to feel uncomfortable at the emotion on Athena’s face as she watched them.

“I know what you mean May,” Buck said after a moment. “I see Chris swept away in the water every time I close my eyes. It didn’t happen, but my mind is trying to tell me it did.”

Over Athena’s shoulder Bobby appeared, looking worried.

“I called my therapist this morning and got my appointment moved up this week, have you got a therapist?”

He cut of the word ‘still’ that tried to follow the end of the sentence. He’d known she’d been in therapy after trying to commit suicide, and knowing Athena would still be enrolled, but May had to make the choice to go.

“I’ve not been in a while, but if you think it’ll help,” May said, her voice small. From the door Athena nodded in relief and slipped away. “I’ll ask mom to organise it for me.”

He didn’t tell her that Athena was already on it, just squeezed her before letting her go. “Good, we can suffer together,” he joked.

“Oh I see how it is,” May laughed, “you just want company in your torture.”

Buck nodded. “Of course, is there any other reason.” Before May could respond Harry came thumping down the hallway, “Buck, you’re here,” he cried.

“Want to play Mario Kart,” the boy asked, looking up at Buck with excitement. Buck looked to May, but she was already nodding. “Dibs Bowzer,” she said. “Nuh uh,” Harry said chasing his sister. One day he would realise she was only winding him up. Today was not that day.

….

By the time he let himself back into his house, the sun was high in the sky, and Buck was exhausted.

Happy though. He’d spent the day with his family and was going to spend the evening eating pizza and settling into his new home with his new pets.

Maddie was crashed out on the couch with the dogs curled up on her, though they were quick to join him, so he ushered them out the back door to the backyard. He plopped onto his bum and patted the dogs, finding a bag of tennis balls that he’d brought for them earlier.

That was how Maddie found him twenty minutes later, playing fetch with two happy dogs. And as he filled her in on his day, she relaxed at his side.

It was a nice reprieve from the horrors of the prior day. And it healed his heart a little to have this time with his sister, just the two of them.

….

“It’s been too long man,” Buck said clapping Steve on the shoulder as he let him and his girlfriend into the house. With them came their two flatmates.

“It’s been two weeks,” one of the guys laughed. He wasn’t wrong. Buck led them to the kitchen where the others were spread out checking out his new house.

“That room looks a little bare, I stand by my message in the chat,” Carter joked.

“Sex dungeon?” Will asked.

“No my other suggestion.”

“Rage room?” Kameron suggested, helping herself to the buffet Buck had supplied.

“Not that one either.”

Buck could see the others were trying to remember what other dumb idea he’d had. It was a long list.

After a moment Katie clicked her fingers and pointed at Carter. “Pottery studio.”

Carter nodded, laughing.

“Dude none of us know pottery.” Mark said, but Rose was getting into it. “Nah, he’s got a point. We could reinact Ghost.”

Buck had no clue what that meant, but the others laughed. Instead he watched as Sage and Basil made the rounds, saying hi to everyone and receiving their love and affection.

It seemed like they’d been with him forever. He loved them so much already. So much that in bed that morning he’d organised the delivery of toys and bedding for them. He expected it to turn up before long, and thankfully he had a group of friends available to help.

The visit continued in the same vein. They didn’t talk about the tsunami, but Buck could see them making sure he was okay. It was nice to have the support.

….

His good mood didn’t last.

Everyone had sounded off in the 118 group chat, confirming no injuries after the intense day working the tsunami. But Buck tried not to feel resentful that every message in the chat lately was in response to him. It wasn’t worth checking to see when someone else had initiated conversation. He knew it had been a while.

Buck got it, he did. Life was busy, and they couldn’t spend all their time talking to him. He was busy too, so he understood. But lately it felt like there was a real disconnect between him and the 118.

And he didn’t know how to fix it. Buck just hoped that when he started back at work soon the weirdness faded.

His phone ringing cut short the melencoly thoughts. “You’ve reached Buck,” he said, answering it.

“Hi Buck, my names Lucy Straight, I work for child protective services. During the tsunami you rescued two children, they’d like to know if they could talk to you.”

He knew who she was talking about, and quickly confirmed they could. After a moment of silence Stacey said, “Hi Buck.” Which was quickly echoed by Betsy.

“Hi girls, how are you settling in?” He asked. There wasn’t much else he could ask.

“We’re settling in okay,” Stacy said. “We just wanted to thank you for helping us. And see if maybe you want to keep in touch.”

“Of course,” he responded. “I’d like nothing more. Could I speak to Lucy really quick?”

It was spur of the moment but it felt right. Lucy’s voice came over the line and he asked, “what’s going to happen to them.”

He could hear Lucy shooing the girls away so they couldn’t listen. “They have no family, and due to their age difference we’re going to struggle to place them somewhere together.”

He sighed. “I’m a registered foster parent, could I take the girls?” He’d registered while at the fire academy, and had kept up to date just in case.

Lucy sounded clearly surprised as she asked him for his information so she could look him up. “It says here you live in an apartment, how many bedrooms is that?”

He’d not had time to update his details. He told her as such and filled her in on his move. Finally she said, “I can bring them over in a few hours.”

“Perfect,” Buck replied. Already he was pulling up a furniture website. The two empty rooms would need the necessities in them before they arrived.

He’d pay extra to get everything here and assembled in time. It was a good thing he had an abundance of time.

Chapter Text

“It’s a little…empty in here,” Stacy said looking around the open plan living room and kitchen. Since moving in a few days ago, he’d managed to get a couch, a coffee table and matching tv unit and a large tv, plus a couple kitchen stools for the island. It was more than his bedroom, which held a bed. He didn’t even have clothes hangers for his wardrobe yet.

“I just moved in,” he shrugged, watching as she explored while her little sister followed along behind here.

Stacy shot him an odd look, “did you go out and get two dogs before you furnished your house?”

He sheepishly scratched his neck. “Maybe.”

The response made Stacy laugh. “Fair enough.”

Lucy, the caseworker returned from her perusal of the girls rooms, hastily furnished with the basics. “Everything looks to be in order,” she declared. I’ll leave you all to it, and we can meet up in a week or two to discuss how it’s going.”

“Thank you so much,” Buck said, leading her to the door. Checking that the girls weren’t right behind him, he asked, “you said that they don’t have any other family right?” The social worker shook her head. “Correct. It’s just the two of them now.” Buck nodded, feeling sad for his new foster kids. “Adoption is quite a lot easier in these cases.” She added. It was too early, but he appreciated the information.

He waved as she backed down the drive, and returned to the living room to find the girls sitting on the couch in silence. They looked so small, and sad, and awkward. It wouldn’t do. So Buck lowered himself onto the coffee table in front of them.

“I’m new to this,” he started. “I’ve never been a foster parent before, but there’s a kid in my life who I love very much, you met him the other day.”

“Chris,” Betsy guessed with a smile.

“Yeah, Chris,” Buck nodded. “But I am so happy to have you both here. This is your home now. And I want you to be comfortable. Since the house is a bit of a blank canvas,” this bit was said to Stacey who grinned, “I was thinking that tomorrow we could go shopping and get you some stuff for your rooms and to decorate the house.”

Betsy nodded immediately, but Stacey eyed Buck, clearly checking that he was being serious. He must have looked sincere, because before long she was smiling.

“Awesome,” Buck said. “In the meantime, I was thinking we can have a chill day today. Settle in and get to know each other. I’d like you guys to have the rest of the week off if you’re happy with that, and we can start fresh on Monday.”

To no surprise there were zero complaints there. “Alright then, let’s order some take out and watch some movies.”

….

Two movies down, his weight in pasta settled in his stomach and a phone call with Chris found Buck wandering through his new house back towards his foster daughters.

The girls had been with him for a couple of hours with little issue when he came across Betsy crying into Sages fur. Her sister sat beside her with Basil curled up in her lap. She looked better than her sister, but still not great.

Buck hated to interrupt, in case it was a therapeutic, private cry, but his heart couldn’t take Betsy’s tears.

“What’s happening,” he asked softly, knocking on the door gently.

Two heads snapped up to him, and watched while he padded over to them. When neither responded he settled himself onto his bum in front of them, keeping his bad leg stretched straight.

“Betsy’s missing Fifi,” Stacy admitted after a moment. The name didn’t ring a bell. “Who’s Fifi? A doll?”

Betsy shook her head, “our cat. Miss Lucy said we couldn’t take her with us.” Bucks mouth dropped open and he looked at the elder of the two for comfiermation.

Stacy nodded, “when they took us by the apartment to pack they found Fifi and called animal control. She’s at the pound.” She blinked away tears and looked down.

“Do you know which pound?” Buck asked, but Stacy shook her head. Buck frowned, he wished that he’d been told by their caseworker. But he could fix that now.

He pulled his phone out and called Lucy without hesitation. She picked up after a couple of rings, and Buck tried to keep the irration out of his voice. “Hi Lucy, this is Buck calling, Stacy and Betsy’s foster dad,” he introduced himself, even though he was confident caller I.D had identified him.

“Hello Buck, how can I help you? I hope everything’s alright?” Lucy replied.

“The girls are settling in well, I’m just calling to ask which pound their cat ended up in.”

Silence for a moment and then “oh, ok hang on a moment,” as she looked for the information. Across from him the girls were watching curiously.

“Okay, I’ve texted the address to you. They close in an hour.” She said finally. “Thank you for your assistance, have a good day,” Buck responded politely but briskly, and hung up, pulling the text up.

It would take 30 mins roughly to get across town to the pound. “Okay girls,” he clapped quietly. “Shoes on, we’re going to go and pick up Fifi.”

Betsy flew forward till her little palms met his chest, and peered up at him with large glassy eyes. “Really?”

Buck shook his head in disbelief. “Of course,” he reported.“She’s a part of this family too.” He wasn’t surprised to find himself tackled by two crying girls, and he returned the soggy hug eagerly. But time was ticking, and while he’d read that he should let the girls pull of hugs first, they really needed to get a move on if they wanted to pick Fifi up that night.

“Put some shoes on and we’ll head out,” he repeated, making eye contact with Stacy over her sisters head. She nodded and pulled herself up and away from them. This left Buck with one less person to hide his pain from as he levered himself up off the floor before scooping Betsy up without a thought.

His injuries twinged, but it was worth it for the small giggle and little body that burrowed into him. And by the time Stacy was back at the front door, shoes on and phone in hand, Buck had managed to coach Betsy through tying her shoes. She wasn’t good yet, but she’d only been learning for a couple of weeks, and was getting more confident each day - or so Lucy had told him.

They’d have time for her to perfect those skills.

…

While Betsy sung along to the radio from the backseat, Buck asked Stacy if there was anything else they needed from the apartment, for them or Fifi; but his heart sunk when she only shook her head. When they’d arrived to his house just that morning, they’d come with a suitcase and one rubbish bag filled with all of their possessions.

From what little Stacy had implied during their time attop the fire truck during the tsunami, their mother had been as hands off as his own parents had been. The only difference is, while bucks parents had lavished him in gifts to make up for their lack of love or attention, the girls had received neither.

He would wait until they were happy to tell him more, but Lucy had filled him in on how little time they spent together. Betsy spent all day at school and then after school care, and on weekends her mother palmed her off to an older lady down the hall who was one foot in the grave and unable to really do much.

Stacy on the other hand was filling her time with extra coreculars in an attempt to make her college applications look good. When she wasn’t doing that, she was working part time at a stall on the pier as she tried to save desperately for when she turned 18.

The sisters lives interpassed very infrequently, though he could tell they loved each other very much.

While he wasn’t sure how long they would be with him, he was going to do everything he could to let them be happy, unburdened kids.

Starting with spoiling their cat.

Bucks eye caught on the big pet store ahead, only a few minutes from the pound and with another forty minutes till it closed, Buck didn’t hesitate to pull into the car park. The girls didn’t question him, but he could see the stirrings of excitement.

“We can’t take too long, but I want you both to pick a couple of toys for Fifi. We also want to get her some food, feeding bowls and a cat tree. Let me know if there’s anything else you can think of,” Buck said, and opened the door to let himself out.

Betsy at his hip and Stacy a step behind him he grabbed a basket and beelined for the cat trees at the back of the store. There were too many to choose from, and so the girls picked their favourites and turned to him to be the tie breaker.

A moment of deliberation and Buck sheepishly picked both. He could afford to spoil the girls, and he would.

Catching the eye of a worker, Buck pointed out the two cat trees and asked for them to be added to his total and delivery list. Sensing the big sale, and enthusiastic about the girls excitement the worker followed them around as whirlwind Buck led the charge.

By the time they were done the girls were grinning ear to ear as the store promised to deliver their haul the next day. To tide them over Buck carried the food and a few toys out to his jeep.

They only needed Fifi and they would be ready to go home.

…

Pulling into the pound, Buck hoped that the environment they were about to enter didn’t upset the girls. But it couldn’t be helped. They wanted to come, and he wouldn’t deny them.

Holding the door and ushering the girls in, Buck followed along as Stacy headed straight for the counter and began enquiring about their cat. It turned out that she’d been placed on a hold for 24 hours on the off chance her family would be back for her, and they were thrilled to take them to her.

Fifi had pawed the glass and smushed her face against it the moment she’d seen the girls, and his heart had melted. In one day his family had grown by three, and his heart had never been so full.

He tried to remember that when he stood in cat vomit the next morning.

…

Buck wasn’t sure when his life had grown to include more than just the 118, but it was days like this that he really appreciated the distance from work.

Bobby was the reason he wasn’t back at work yet. If he’d not told Buck straight to his face, he’d never have believed it. Before this, he knew that the Captain often treated him different, and not for the best, but Buck had wanted a father figure so much that he let things slide.

But he couldn’t let this go.

He also couldn't spiral. Not yet anyway. He had two girls at home who relied on him.

Stacy and Betsy. They’d only been with him for less than a week, but already his world orbited them. Instead of losing it, he sat in his jeep, still in front of his Captain's house and practiced the breathing technique his therapist had taught him.

It was working too, when a knock on the glass pulled him back to himself. It was Athena, standing there in the low light, a worried experssion on her face.

Buck wound the window down, exhausted despite himself. “Hi Athena.”

“Hi baby,” she replied, reaching through the window to cup his cheek. “This blindsided me too. I didn’t know that it was Bobby who was keeping you back, and I want you to know that I don’t agree with him. In fact I’ve never been more disappointed in him.” She breathed out a large sigh, retracting her hand to lean it on the car as if propping herself up. “I don’t want to keep you for too long, but put it out of your head tonight, and I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m on your side, and I’m going to help you look into your options.”

Buck blinked back sudden tears. He’d been alone for so long. The adult in his personal life for so long that it felt strange, but amazing, to have someone shoulder something this big.

“Okay Thena,” he croaked popping the door handle and waiting for her to back up. Once she was clear he was out of the car quickly and wrapping her in a big hug.

“Oh baby,” she said softly, “it’ll all be okay. We’ll sort it out.” Her hand ran up and down his back steadily, soothing the much younger man.

She would sort it so the gentle giant in front of her didn’t buckle under the pressure of yet another disappointment.

…

Pulling into the driveway, Buck cleared his throat and checked his face in the mirror. No sign of the anger or upset that he’d felt only earlier that night. He trusted Athena to steer him the right way, and until then he wanted to curl up on the couch with his girls.

And to no surprise they were exactly where he thought they would be. Laying on the couch, Betsy’s eyes blinking lazily, closed more than open, and Stacy scrolling on her phone while they waited for him.

The dogs lay at their feet and Fifi napped in her lounge cat tower. He couldn’t help but snap a pic, and wish that Chris and Eddie were there too.

He’d texted Eddie after meeting with Bobby, wanting to tell his best friend everything. But Eddie had been hard to get a hold of lately. Busy with work and Chris and mourning Shannon. And so angry.

If he thought it would help, Buck would suggest therapy again. But he didn’t let the lack of response to his last three texts bring him down further. Instead he threw himself over the couch to land between the girls, laughing as they both let out small squeals of surprise, which also gave way to laughter.

…

A small body draped itself over Buck the next morning, and he hid his grin as Betsy stifled giggles.

She’d settled in so incredibly well already. It was like she’d known him for years. He had a sneaky suspicion that it had a bit to do with the trauma bonding during the tsunami, that and he had been in her and Stacey’s corner since he’d first met them.

And if he was correct, Betsy wasn’t his only stowaway. Two dogs and a cat hadn’t been there when he fell asleep, but it was clear they were there now.

The only one missing was Stacey, but it wouldn’t surprise him to find that she was sleeping in. Buck looked down at Betsy to see if she was hungry, but instead she had fallen back asleep, her mouth slightly open as she breathed softly.

Buck would take the extra sleep while he still could, so he snuggled down with his foster daughter and let Morpheus sweep him away.

…

When Buck woke later, it was to Betsy squirming against him as she woke again. And now they’d been joined by Stacey who lay across the foot of the bed, reading a book from his shelf.

“How do we feel about pancakes,” he asked. To no surprise it was a hit. ”Alright, time to go and get things for your rooms.”

He also had plans to buy Stacey a new phone, and Betsy and Chris Apple Watches. After the tsunami he wasn’t risking the younger two being left without means of communication. Even if they might not work in a tsunami. It was a thought in progress. After all, a natural disaster was the absolute last thing that he thought they’d be caught in again.

In his heart he knew he’d be talking to Lucy about making this permanent. He didn’t know what it meant for his love life, or how he’d juggle their needs and his work, but they’d make it work, if the girls were happy to stay with him. Already he was falling in love with the two girls bickering in front of him. Buck didn’t even know what they were bickering about; but it didn’t matter, having a family was all he’d ever wanted. And if he got to have it with these two girls then he was very lucky.

“Before we head out we should take the dogs for a walk,” Buck said, clearing the counter and leaning back against it. “Yay, I’m going to get dressed,” Betsy called, hurrying toward her room.

Stacey was more sedate, stopping beside Buck.

“I was wondering,” she started, “would it be alright if I cook tonight? We’ve not gone over chores yet, but I was wondering if I could help.”

He shouldn’t have been surprised. Everything he’d seen of Stacey so far showed that she was a mature and super helpful kid. It almost made him sad.

“Chores will mostly just be tidying up after yourself. I’m planing on getting a cleaner in once a week, if you don’t have any complaints, and I’ve already hired someone to look after the gardens. With my job it’s hard to keep up with that stuff, and now that we’re a family of 6,” they both smiled at the thought of the pets, “the only other thing will be walking the dogs and feeing the pets.”

Buck paused, he’d spent the night thinking this all through. “Since I work such long shifts, I plan to get a nanny for your sister. Now, I know you’re old enough to do your own thing, but your sister isn’t. I’ll be asking the nanny to feed you both, but you’ll have the freedom to come and go as you please. While the nanny is here they will be responsible for feeding the pets. I had thought of paying someone to walk the dogs once or twice a day, but I’d like to offer that to you first. I’ll pay you $40 a week to walk them.”

Stacey looked shocked. And thrilled. But Buck wasn’t done. “Now, that doesn’t include your pocket money. Yours will be a little higher, based on your age, but I was thinking maybe $35?
You’re a kid, and I want you to enjoy that while you still can. Spend your time with your friends, or hanging out around here, or studying at the library. Focus on what you want to do. If you want a job, get a job; but you don’t need one if you don’t want one.” He wouldn’t bring it up yet, it was too early. But if he adopted the girls, then she wouldn’t need to worry about paying for college. Buck would have that sorted.

Stacey flew at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and crying softly. Buck got it. He imagined that when Maddie left she felt a little like this. Like the weight of the world wasn’t crushing her anymore. “I’ve got you,” he muttered into her hair.

After a moment she pulled back and positively beamed up at him. He’d not noticed it before, but there had been stress around her eyes. It was gone now. It would come back, he was sure. She was still in a precarious position as a foster kid. But he’d given her time and space to grow.

…

Buck was climbing out of the shower after their walk, when his phone pinged. He checked and it was Eddie, responding to his text with a ‘sorry, was at work. What’s up?’

He knew that it wasn’t work. He still knew the roster, even if he was off. It’s not like Buck cared about a late reply, but to lie to him. That pissed him off. But he pushed it down.

‘Was wanting to share some news, gonna put it in the chat.’ He replied. Between the girls and the house and his pets, Buck had a lot to be happy about, so he couldn’t wait to share his news.

But when he opened his messages, he discovered that he’d been kicked out of the group chat. And their last act before removing him? Adding Lena Bosko.

What felt like heartburn rose in his chest. He swallowed against the bile, breathing deeply through his nose. He’d been removed after the dinner. Before he’d even gotten home, he could see now.

And no one had messaged him. He could see the messages of greeting to Lena before he got removed, knew they checked the chat regularly.

But none of them had messaged him. It hurt. He could admit it. But he knew they were busy. And it was a work chat. As far as they knew he was off for a while still, and there was no point in making a new chat.

Inside he didn’t feel quite as confident. Eddie’s response of ‘sounds good!’ didn't help either, but he knew that Eddie had his back 110%. ‘Give Chris my love.’ Buck sent back and instantly got a string of smiley faces in return.

The tightness in his chest faded. He’d be back with the 118 soon and everything would go back to normal.

…

“Buck,” Betsy called excitedly, and he hurried over. Stacey had insisted on pushing the trolley, and had taken to her new phone like a fish to water. Already he could hear her taping away non stop, talking to her friends. What it was about didn’t matter, though he had a suspicion that it was to do with him telling the girls they could have friends over. Stacey, on Friday, Betsy, next Friday. It was a little hard to organise a party for 10 year olds when your kid wasn’t in class to give out invites.

Betsy was holding up a lava lamp, the same colour as the bedspread she’d already picked out. “It’s perfect,” he told her, taking it and putting it in the trolley. “Can we get a second one to go in the living room?” She asked. The pink glitter didn’t phase him. “Of course,” Buck told her, and took the second offering.

The trolley was already nearing full, packed with personality. On the way over they’d talked about their game plan for the week, and it was decided that they’d spend the next couple days at home, relaxing. It made him excited to hang at home and not be lonely.

….

Athena’s text had brought him a modicum of reassurance that was snuffed out at the meeting with his union rep.

There was nothing they could do, their hands were tied. Due to Bobby - Captain Nash seeing Buck as a liability, he was on the bench for now. All he could do was wait till Captain Nash was ready to let him back.

But Buck had recertified and his doctors didn’t suggest a sedentary job, which was exactly what Nash and the Union were pushing him into.

It was a sticky situation. Exacerbated by the warnings on his file from his probationary year. Along with a dead-end complaint against a department therapist, no one wanted to bother going to bat for him.

They were at a stalemate. But Buck wasn’t going to take this lying down.

Chapter Text

The house looked so lived in already. Though Buck couldn’t take all of the credit. Not only did the house have an abundance of character, but Maddie and his friends had thrown him a small house warming party, all gifting him with something fun.

But there was one thing they were missing. Both girls had mentioned that they shared a love of painting. Now that Lucy had confirmed that he could proceed with adopting them, Buck wanted a way to show them that this was their house too.

Even with the new things he’d brought for them, sometimes he saw Stacey being overly careful with everything. She’d barely put her mark on anything, and while she’d clearly not had the heart to dissuade Betsy, he knew she was worried about her sister getting too attached.

That would change. He had a surprise to organise for his girls. He’d picked up a paint chart, brushes, tape and everything the girls would need to create two murals. Minus the paint; he’d wait to see what colours they wanted first.

The kitchen nook, and living room wall would have their mark soon. And while they worked on that, Buck would have someone come and paint their rooms however they wanted. The house had become a home. It couldn’t have come at a better time.

…

He’d never expected to become a dad like this. Had actually thought that maybe one day Chris would call him Dad; but the anger Eddie had shown him was deep.

Therapy had shown Buck that he was in the right for persuing the lawsuit. Bobby played fast and loose with the rules, and while it was unfair for the others to be punished for following their captains lead, it was more unfair for Buck to hindered by Bobby.

The man Buck had once thought of like a father. He wasn’t, Buck knew that. But the relationship they'd had was the closest he’d ever had. Part of Buck wondered if he was conflating kindness and authority with their paternal relationship. His therapist seemed sure.

Either way, it felt like the bottom of his stomach fell out every time he thought about Bobby. Anxiety and resentment welled hot and heavy. But breathing helped. And so did the vindication that his lawyer had provided.

Head to head with Chief Alonzo, the man had been shocked to learn that one of his Captains was refusing a fit and able firefighter. Especially one who had been so publicly injured. When he’d queried about the Union, a familiar name had been brought up.

It turned out that the rep Buck had spoken with was friends with Doctor Wells. Good friends. The odds were a million to one, and yet, Bucks bad luck had struck again.

The Union was incredibly apologetic, and horribly embarrassed by the situation, pulling the man straight out of the rotation to undergo major retraining. Alonzo let it slip to Buck that the man would be on thin ice now, monitored and stagnant in his career with the LAFD.

It was enough that Buck was pleased, as was his lawyer. He’d been clear from the beginning that he only wanted his job back, and his lawyers fees covered. He knew though that even that would bring trouble, as his lawyer provided the chiefs with further proof that Buck was being discriminated against.

Had the Union played ball from the beginning, it wouldn’t have gotten to that stage. But by now the ball was rolling, and Buck felt responsible for standing up for his fellow firefighters rights.

By the end of the arbitration it had been agreed that more checks and balances needed to be in place to protect everyone. A doctors note and therapist sign off would be enough to qualify a firefighter to return to work. Likewise, now Captains wouldn’t be able to hinder a persons return to work if both documents were provided.

It was a satisfying conclusion, and one Buck was pleased about. And through it he had come to really respect Chief Alonzo.

In fact, Alonzo had been the one to initially suggest that Buck change fire stations. At first he’d said he would think on it, knowing that he didn’t really want to leave his family. But then the confrontation at the grocery store happened. It was clear that either the 118 didn’t know what had gone down, or didn’t care. But it didn’t matter anymore.

They’d broken his heart.

Within the hour Buck had emailed Chief Alonzo and told him he had made his decision.

…

Tomorrow he had a meeting with his new Captain, and would tour his new station. The 118 would find out at a later date, as Alonzo had processed the information himself.

Buck knew that the Chief was sucking up to him a little, in response to the hefty settlement Buck had turned down. Firefighting was his passion, and he didn’t need the money, but he could see why Alonzo and the other Chiefs were so stressed.

He’d had the power to really fuck up the LAFD

He was now the proud owner of Alonzos number, which he knew was in part an apology for the fuck up with the Union. It still left him with a sense of safety. He felt seen, something he hadn’t realised he’d been going without.

Pushing aside thoughts of culpability, work, and his crushing disappointment with the 118, Buck rushed home. He had plans with two very special people.

…

Talking to Stacey first was important. Betsy was young enough that he already pretty much knew how she was going to react. With delight, and a level of smug satisfaction. She’d had him from the moment they’d meet.

But Stacey on the other hand was smart and old enough to know what this meant.

So after sweeping Betsy into a hug, he sent her off to her room to draw him a picture for his new work locker.

Buck could tell immediately that Stacey knew something was up, and he didn’t know how best to bring it up, so he pulled out the paint samples and handed the book over.

“I spoke to Lucy, and she’s happy for this to become permanent, so I was thinking that you and your sister could pick some colours for your rooms.”

It was overly nonchalant and didn’t include the question Buck really want to put to her. Do you want to stay? But his anxiousness made his tounge feel heavy, and he couldn’t get out anything else.

To her credit Stacey seemed unsurprised.

“Why would you go through all the trouble of letting me decorate my room if I’m going to be 18 in two years,” the older girl asked. She looked both thrilled at the confirmation they wouldn’t be dealing with more foster homes, but confused nonetheless.

“I don’t mind changing your room again if you think your taste will change a lot in two years. I’ll paint your room once a month if it’ll make you happy,” Buck said. It wasn’t what she’d meant.

“I mean, when I’m 18 I won’t be your responsibility anymore.”

But Buck shook his head. “You could be 18 or 80, you’re my kid now, you will always have a home with me. This is permanent , it’s forever. If you move out at 18 I’ll be sad but I’ll understand, but know that this will always be your room. And you will always be my daughter, if you’d like to be.”

Stacey crumpled. It’s the only word Buck could think. He tried not to think negatively, but it was hard. Hurt and disappointment wared inside him, but he pushed it down to comfort his kid.

He swept Stacey into his arms and cuddled her through the tears, and before long she was pulling back to look up at him. Her large grey eyes were red and her nose was running, but the smile on her face made her upset fade.

“Really?” She asked. “You want both of us? Forever?” she sounded so much like a little kid that his heart clenched. She wasn’t sad or mad like he’d thought, she was scared.

“Stace, I want to adopt you both. I’ve talked to Lucy, and the paperwork is ready to be signed. I just needed to talk to you and Betsy.”

It set Stacey off again, but this time Buck didn’t worry. Betsy did though, poking her head around the corner. He waved her over and made room for her in his lap.

She allowed him to brush the hair off her face, but looked at her sister in astonishment. Stacey was normally so stoic, so it wasn’t a surprise that Betsy was baffled.

“Your sister’s okay,” Buck told Betsy, gathering them into his arms properly. “I spoke to Lucy earlier, and I’d like to adopt you both.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting but it wasn’t for Betsy to shrug and say “I’ve already been calling you dad to my friends. I kinda thought you already were.”

Buck laughed. “I am. Okay, I’ll call Lucy soon and organise to sign the papers.” He lifted a shaky hand and rubbed his own eyes.

“That reminds me though, I thought you could pick out your room colours,” Buck said to Betsy handing her the discarded paint swatches. “And if you’d like, I was thinking that you could make a mural or two. The living room and kitchen could do with something fun.”

All tears disappeared, and two excited girls were up and off his lap, pouring over the colours in no time.

He took the opportunity to check his phone, and found that Chimney had messaged Buck a meme about himbos, with the phrase, ‘this you?’ It was disappointing all over again, Chimneys form of joking continuing to lean into bullying. But he didn’t let it bother him. Rather he let his sister know what had happened and forwarded her the message.

He was washing his hands of the 118 if this is how they were going to act.

His earlier message to Carla, asking if he could ring and speak to Chris later had finally returned fruit.

A simple, but apologetic response from her said, “Buckeroo I’m so sorry but Eddie has now said that Chris can’t talk to you. I hate to do this, but I have to listen to what the parent says (even if I disagree).”

He hadn’t thought his heart could hurt anymore, but there it was. First he was abandoning Chris, or so Eddie said, and now he wasn’t allowed to contact him anymore.

It hurt. A lot. He loved that kid. But it had been made clear to him that Chris wasn’t his. Legally he had no rights to him. There was nothing he could do.

He replied to Carla, thanking her for letting him know, and told her that he’d love to have her over for dinner one night, he had something to tell her. As always she was enthusiastic.

He couldn’t wait to tell her. So far only his old flatmates, and his sister knew about the girls, but he wanted to scream it from the rooftops. He’d wanted to tell Athena, May and Harry, but didn’t want to put them in a tough spot.

Maybe one day they would be able to talk about it. He’d miss them in his life, but he was on the outside now, going down another path, and he had to respect that their loyalties lay elsewhere.

He pulled out his phone and blocked the 118 crew. And then after a hesitation he blocked Karen too. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it to the Grants.

Maybe tomorrow he would have the strength.

…

Eddie had been a shit friend lately. Between streetfighting and ignoring Buck, his life was a constant gaping void. But he’d had a wake up call this morning when he’d come into work to find that they had a new permanent firefighter.

They’d not bothered to follow up with him since Eddie had publicly lost it at Buck while the others all stood by. He was too angry at the invasion of privacy to bother and he knew the others felt the same.

But seeing someone new in Bucks place was uncomfortable. And he could tell he wasn’t the only one.

When the new guy went to put his stuff in his locker, everyone crowded around Bobby. He didn’t try to hide his glum expression.

“As you all know, Buck sued both me and the city for the right to return to work. What I hadn’t told you is that he won, but turned down the money. If he had taken it he would have been blacklisted from joining another house in this country.” Surprise was visible on most faces.

“Well, he’s not coming back here.” Bobby said after a moment. “He’s opted to cut his loses and start at another station.”

From the crowd Eddie heard a mumbled “good riddance.” But Jonsey scoffed, shaking his head.”Good riddance?” He asked. “Not if you ask me. Buck was treated unfairly here, and he went to bat to come back. I know you feel betrayed because he ‘aired your dirty laundry”, this was said derisively. “But he had a right to sue, and that shows since he won.”

It…was a good point actually. But Eddie didn’t have a chance to think on it, because Hopps was stepping forward to back Jonsey, “and because of Buck, there are more regulations around returning to work. Captains can’t bench you unfairly now,” she said looking pointedly at Bobby. “And you can’t return to work early without being cleared by both a doctor and a therapist.”

Someone else scoffed again but Mutt didn’t allow this to go unchecked. “I’m sorry, are we not all about safety? This is a good thing. We don’t want to be working with people who aren’t medically cleared to be here. I mean fuck, the suit gave us examples of how poorly it could go. Look at Chimney after all.”

“Don’t bring me into this,” Chimbey said, glowering. But Hopps shot back “you’re already in it.”

“You’re all hypocrites, and you’re lucky that Buck didn’t take the settlement, or a lot of people would be in big trouble, you especially Captain Nash,” Mutt added.

Bobby’s face which had started off red had slowly turned white, then green and then red again through the short debate. But the green won out at the end, when a clatter at the stairs drew everyone’s attention.

Cheif Alonzo joined them, nodding at the three who had shown common sense. “Correct,” he said and waved at Bobby to follow him into his office.

“Fuck,” Hen whispered as everyone dispersed.

….

Later after the shift from hell, Eddie drove to Bucks apartment for the first time in weeks. Since the tsunami in fact.

Hen had suggested they all go, but Eddie knew he needed to grovel the most out of everyone. After all they'd just been following Bobby. Eddie on the other hand had been horrible.

Parking in the guest spot, Eddie couldn’t see Bucks Jeep, but that didn’t mean much. He would let himself in and wait for the other man.

The elevator was slow and creaked when Eddie got on. And it felt like it took years to get to the right floor. But that wasn’t the end of Eddie’s issues. When he came to Bucks door he found that the lock had been replaced by a keypad.

It didn’t make sense. And neither did the laughter coming from inside. Holding his temper, Eddie knocked and waited with bated breath.

But the man who opened the door wasn’t familiar. And neither was the apartment. What he could see over his shoulder showed a much different room.

“Can I help you,” the man asked. From his tone he’d clearly already asked once.

“Hi I’m looking for Buck, he lives here.”

The man thought for a moment and turned to the other man, “babe what did you say our landlords name is?” A voice from inside replied, “Buck.”

Eddie’s heart dropped. Buck wasn’t here. And if he wasn’t here, where was he.

What if…what if it wasn’t the LAFD that Buck was working for. Maybe that’s why he was changing houses. Maybe he’d moved out of state.

The man was talking again, “we moved in a couple weeks ago, and haven’t seen Buck since.”

It was helpful, but at the same time left more questions.

Muttering his thanks, Eddie spun on his heel and hurried to the lift, pulling his phone out to call Buck.

It didn’t ring. He tried again. The same thing happened, so he pulled up the chat and messaged, telling the others what he’d learned.

Jonsey, Hopps and Mutt laugh reacted quickly which wasn’t helpful.

And then he got a call from Hen. “Buck’s blocked us all. Karen can’t get a hold of him either.”

It felt like the floor had fallen out from underneath him.

Chapter Text

No one knew where Buck had gone.

Eddie had looked at Bobby, Hen and Chimney, and seen his shock and distress reflected.

Not even Chimney had a clue, as close as he was to Bucks sister. Though the man’s face had gone pale and his eyes had flicked off to the side when asked. It was something he did when he was trying really hard not to let a secret slip.

But it would have surprised Eddie if Chim knew what was happening. Chimney had been just as bothered as the rest of them about the lawsuit, and it had made the sometimes contentious relationship between men, even worse.

Clearly Chimney had a separate secret that he didn’t want to share. It didn’t matter right now. Buck did.

Eddie thought for a minute of asking Maddie for information, but he knew that would be a fucked up invasion of privacy.

He said as much when Bobby mentioned doing just that. The older man had clearly not thought about that, or that his actions might push Buck even further away.

Even as he said this to Bobby, Eddie was pulling out his phone to text Maddie. He couldn’t ask for her to pass on a message, or demand answers, but he could see if Buck was okay.

Who knew if she would respond. He had to put his phone away before he went against his own advice and asked to talk to Buck.

Eddie could see that Hen was in the same mindset as him. The guilt he knew was on his face was reflected on hers. He was mad still; Buck had betrayed them all by dragging them through the mud, but he’d always intended to forgive Buck.

But now it was looking like they might not get the chance. Especially as Bobby was on thin ice, his talk with Alonzo had shown that the Chiefs had no confidence in the man. He’d been told to keep his nose out of Buck business, or else.

They were just lucky the new guy was riding in the other truck, though he was no doubt also being brought up to speed on the shit show that their station had become.

Trying to hold his temper Eddie blocked Bobby and Chim out, breathing deeply. They were busy speculating on where Buck had gone, and how he’d be received. But Eddie didn’t want to think about it.

He could feel the anger welling. It was a familiar feeling.

Some days it was like all he could feel was anger.

Right now he let it take him away. He had a whole shift ahead of him, and he’d need all the help he could find to get through it.

…

For the first time in weeks Buck felt a sense of relief when he thought about work. He could admit to himself now, that the distance between him and the 118 had been cause for stress.

Oh he’d miss them, or what he thought he had with them. And he’d never wish the last week on anyone, but even before finding out that Bobby had betrayed him, Buck had felt an intense pressure to get back in peak condition.

It almost felt like he had to be at 100% to be around his ex co-workers. Like any less and they wouldn’t want to deal with him.

He knew it to be true. On reflection couldn't think of a time when they’d had his back about something important. Not when he’d had his first loss and gone to therapy, not when Eddie had swanned in and been welcomed with open arms. Not when Chimney and Maddie had started dating.

Could it be considered Stockholm Syndrome, the relationship he had with them? There was something to be said about the insane hours spent together in a small space, and life and death experiences they’d been through together.

Maybe, trauma bonding and proximity had formed their relationships with each other.

Maybe they only put up with him, and didn’t actually like him.

Or maybe they just weren’t the good people he thought they were.

He’d probably never know. But he really needed to speak with his therapist.

Buck kissed Fifi on the head, receiving a small head butt in response. He’d call his therapist after he finished cuddling with the cat.

…

It had been the shift from hell. Eddie had never believed in the Q-word curse, but the others were adamant that it had caused their intense shift.

They were all tired and filthy when they pulled into the station, finally done. Moral was low, and Eddie just wanted to go home and sleep. But he would still need to talk to Chris when he got home. Even thinking about it pissed him off.

Chris would be distraught to find out that Buck had left him, this time maybe for good. He’d have to distract his kid while hiding his own hurt.

He climbed from the truck gingerly, and led the way toward the showers, desperate to drown his sorrows in a hot shower.

“Ya know, with this whole Buckley v Nash thing, I’ve realised something,” Q from B shift could be overhead saying from the locker room as they drew near. They stopped, listening. And it was clear everyone was trying not to look at Bobby.

“I know that he has an intense favouritism for Buck,” the same voice continued but was cut off by another “though I’ve only seen it come through in Nash over-stepping and telling Buck off.”

There was laughter and agreements.

“What I’m trying to get at, is, Nash pushed the others to return to work before they were mentally or physically ready. Does he think everyone else is expendable?”

Dead silence from the locker room, and the group frozen outside of it.

“Hmmm, I get what you’re saying, but I think it comes down to, Nash believes in and trusts the others on his team so much that he’ll cut corners for them. While with Buck, he loves him but clearly doesn’t think much of him.”

“That’s a good point, remember that call Briggs and I covered for, I told y’all about it. But Buck carried these two big guys out of a fire at once, and pulled a muscle. Well Nash chewed him out in front of everyone for risking himself and the team.”

“Yeah that’s right,” the voice scoffed. “I’ve seen Diaz do the exact same thing, though obviously with much smaller guys, cause Buck benches like twice what everyone else does.”

“I love the guy, but I’m not gonna miss when he occasionally forgets to unlatch the weight and I go to lift only for my soul to just about leave my body.”

Laughter spilled out. Surely they were finished getting ready and we’re about to stumble across the frozen A shift.

But no, they continued. “You’re just jealous that Buck got better marks than you on that last assignment.”

Eddie didn’t know anything about an assignment.

“Okay, that’s a fair comment. Dudes insanely built, incredibly smart and a nice guy. How is that fair.”

“You forgot his pretty face. But seriously, dude, he has Nash up his arse, he had to have some wins somewhere else.”

The group trickled out of the locker rooms, ready for their shift. And to their credit didn’t look embarrassed or surprised to see them.

Fair enough.

Eddie just wanted this day to end though, so he pushed through and left the two groups to it.

And if he spent his time in the shower thinking about what he’d overheard, then that was his business.

…

They were right.

Eddie had spent all night thinking about it.

When he’d gotten home Chris had been in such a good mood that Eddie couldn’t bare to tell him that Buck was gone.

And now he was glad he’d waited. Because it had given him time to really think about what B shift had said. And they were right.

Bobby really did treat Buck differently to how he treated the rest of them. Once Eddie had realised that, he’d gone back to his texts with Buck only to realise that they were pretty one sided.

Buck tried, again and again to reach out. It was confronting to see a friendship deteriorating before his eyes. Especially when it was his and Bucks.

And then Eddie got to the message where Buck said he was going to post some news in the group chat. It gave him hope for a moment. Maybe they could talk to Buck online. He’d forgotten to check.

But no, he was blocked there too. And worse, when he went to see what Buck had wanted to share with them, he found that they’d removed him from the group. And added a floater. As if he couldn’t feel any lower.

His anger was waning. Oh he was still furious at Buck. But he was also realising that he’d been a shit friend. What had Buck wanted to share?

He spent time scrolling through his online messages with Buck, feeling worse and worse as he went. How had his relationship with his closest friend gotten this bad?

And then he found a confusing message. ‘It’s because of Bobby.’ Context didn’t help, the message before it read ‘want to bring Chris over for dinner?’ and the one after it said ‘call me please, need to talk.’

He’d never called. His head thumped softly on the kitchen table.

His eyes burned, his heart raced, and his hands shook. What was because of Bobby? What had Buck wanted to tell him?

One thing was becoming clear, he needed to go to therapy. Already he felt the familiar sting of humiliation when he thought of therapy. His parents could never find out. His team could never find out. It was a shame he would keep close to the chest.

Tonight he would talk to Carla, and then to his Tia Pepa and Abuela. It would bring him great shame, but he needed support to grow as a person. And he really needed to become a better person. Someone that Buck would be proud to have as a friend. And someone Chris was proud to have as a father.

…

“I spoke to Howie, we’re on a break,” Maddie said, holding her coffee cup with both hands as she watched the dogs play.

Bucks head turned toward her in shock. “Oh Maddie, I’m so sorry.”

But his sister just pinned him with a look. “Don’t be ridiculous, baby brother. I’m done with letting people walk all over me, and I’m done with letting you suffer for it.”

Buck had more he wanted to say. He didn’t feel bad per say, his friendship with Chimney was nonexistent, and had been a while. But he did feel bad for his sister.

She’d really like the man, though Buck had never understood why.

“I’m still thinking about whether we have a future, but I don’t think we do. He’s not the man I thought he was.”

“Ok, I just don’t want you to end something because of me.”

“Evan. It wouldn’t be because of you. Not really. I just can’t see myself with someone who thinks insulting your intelligence, or calling you a himbo is funny. I mean, he belittled you all the time, and I never realised it was mean spirited until recently.” Quietly, as if to herself she muttered, “though I don’t know how I missed it.”

“I get that. I do. But if you decide to continue dating him I’m okay with it. I’ll never be friends with him, and I don’t really like him, but it’s fine.”

Maddie just shook her head and changed the subject. But secretly Buck was glad.

He’d missed having his sister in his life for years, and he didn’t really want to go without her for longer. He’d rather spend Christmas’ and birthdays together, but he wouldn’t be comfortable doing that if she was still with Chimney.

“We tried swimming yesterday,” Buck said to Maddie. “It was hard. None of us could put our heads under, but I think we’ll get there soon.”

Maddie sighed. “I hate that you all went through that, but I’m so glad you have each other. Maybe when you’re a little more comfortable we could have a pool day.”

“That sounds great.”

The siblings sat there for a while, watching the dogs and relaxing before the girls came out to find them.

“Aunt Maddie,” Betsy said in excitement upon spotting her, dropping down into the woman’s lap. Stacey was more calm, sitting down beside Maddie, and resting her head on her shoulder.

The connection they shared was wonderful, and he couldn’t help but appreciate how happy they were to see each other.

Even without the 118 he had family around him.

…

Over his days off Eddie proceeded with damage control. He told Chris that he had been struggling with something, and it had caused him and Buck to grow apart, but it was no fault of Bucks.

Chris didn’t truly understand, but he was happy that Carla would organise a day out for him and his Buck. And hadn’t that been a relief, when Carla had said she was still in contact with Buck.

For the first time in weeks Chris slept through the night, not waking to call for Buck. If Eddie didn’t already feel like shit this would have wrecked him. So stuck in his own head, he’d inadvertently caused problems for his son.

But Chris wasn’t the only one he needed to apologise to. He’d put Carla in the middle. In hindsight the message he’d had her send Buck was cruel. And he didn’t even know why he’d done it. But to Carla he admitted that he knew he needed therapy.

As expected she was just the woman for the job, and before the day was out he had a curated list of therapists.

….

Talking to Abuela and Tia Pepa was harder.

They’d noticed the anger. The injuries. The lack of Buck in Eddie and Chris’ stories.

Finding out that Eddie had been fighting. Had been pulling away from his friend(s), it upset them. And it was worse when he admitted that he couldn't handle his growing rage.

It horrified his Tia and Abuela. But they’d understood it had been building for years. Before he’d started at the fire academy. Before he’d gone to war. Before Chris had been born.

Eddie had grown up too early, been the man of the house from the moment he could walk. It meant that while Ramon Diaz was at work, Eddie played the role of father and support. And his father was always at work; a self proclaimed workaholic.

And while Chris was an only child, he wasn’t the first kid Eddie had raised.

And now that pressure, the need to conform and be perfect and keep it all in, had been seeping out through the cracks.

Eddie asking for help was the first step toward fixing what he had broken, and his Tia and Abuela would be with him 110%. But until then, they would make sure that Buck had a soft place to land.

Chapter Text

He had never felt so drained in his life. Therapy had shown him how much of a piece of shit he’d been to his best friend. The best friend he’d ever had.

The past two months had been mentally exhausting. Working through a lifetime of trauma and issues hadn’t been as hard as he’d once feared, but every session ended with him feeling hollowed out.

It helped.

Eddie almost couldn’t believe it. He knew therapy worked. Buck had been in it for years; had helped him find a therapist for Chris once he’d told the other man about Shannon abandoning them.

It had certainty helped Chris in the aftermath of Shanons death, and then later, the tsunami.

But for some reason Eddie almost expected that it wouldn’t work. In a hidden part of his brain, Eddie had wondered if he wasn’t too broken.

He was now beginning to think otherwise. Therapy was teaching him to accept his faults and create boundaries, to say the least.

It was why he’d cut contact with Lena once she’d left the 118.

He’d realised quickly that street fighting was a dangerous game. Twice was enough to learn his lesson. Once before he’d seen Buck last, at the grocery store. And once after they’d learned Buck was transferring.

It hadn’t helped his anger, in fact it had fanned the flames and made him more of a loose cannon. And he knew he was lucky that nothing bad had happened, that he hadn’t been injured, or hurt someone. That he hadn’t been found out by the department. Even thinking about it, months later made a chill go down his spine.

He could have lost everything. And for what? But his therapist said he shouldn’t dwell on what ifs, and should instead focus on absolutes. Of course, his therapist didn’t know that he’d been engaged in an illegal fighting ring, but he’d take that secret to the grave. Tia and Abuela had promised to never speak of it, and if Lena ever said anything, then she’d be going down with him.

And so, focusing on absolutes, Eddie had made a drastic decision.

He’d cut contact with his parents. To them it was abrupt and uncalled for, but he’d sat there one night, listening to them tell Chris that he shouldn’t go on a school trip because of his CP. And suddenly he’d realised that they didn’t make him, or Chris, happy. It was the final straw, and the moment Chris left the room Eddie had hung up the phone without a word.

And so far the repercussions hadn’t set in, but he knew they would sooner rather than later.

But that wasn’t the only growth he’d experienced. At his therapist's encouragement, Eddie wrote down all of his thoughts in a heartfelt letter to Buck. Sending it felt much harder than writing it, but Buck deserved the chance to understand Eddie’s thought process in ruining their friendship.

Maddie had promised that Buck had it, but five weeks had passed with no response, and Eddie’s hope was waning.

Of course; that’s when the 118 was sent out to a large fire, where they would be working with the 122 for the first time since Buck had transferred .

…

Buck had settled into his new station well; happily already in the throws of easy friendship with his new teammates.

He’d not realised that the 118 had such preconceived ideas of him. He’d been the little brother, a little naive, sometimes dumb and always a loose cannon. But at the 122, Buck was smart, driven, funny and qualified.

And yet he was the exact same man as always. The only thing that had changed was the people who worked with him.

In a nutshell, Buck was thriving at his new station, and the last four weeks since starting with them had been a dream. Already his Captain, Harry Keats, was pushing him to strive for lieutenant.

“Big fire at a local industrial complex turned apartments,” Carter, the current Lieutenant, supplied as they geared up.

The man had told Buck only a week ago that within the year he’d be retiring. He’d met his wife only a few months ago, though they’d been friends years ago before falling out of touch, and now, Carter was ready to grab his love life with both hands. Quietly he’d admitted that he couldn’t imagine spending more of his years away from her.

Once, Buck had thought he would have that kind of love. Maybe even with Eddie, but he was a little jaded now, and unable to let himself move on until his feelings for Eddie were truly gone.

The letter in his side table at home, opened and read only once, had kept him in a state of paralysis. Buck wasn’t ready to move on, not before he met with the man who Eddie had become. Already he had taken steps to better himself, and that was worth looking into. But at the same time he wasn’t sure if he could put himself in front of Eddie and expect it to go well.

“Due to its size we’ll be working with the 118,” Harry broke the news, clapping Buck on the shoulder.

“That sucks,” Leighton said, and out of the corner of his eye Buck caught Koa shake his head at her, and her mouth ‘what,’ back at him.

He pretended not to see and hauled himself into the truck.

“Did you hear, our kids are going on a date this weekend,” Buck said to Koa once he’d pulled his headset on.

“Makoas been making a whole list of ideas on where to take Stacey. The boy’s in a tizzy,” Koa replied with a laugh.

They made idle chitchat on the way to the fire, and it was clear it was intended to keep him distracted.

But it worked.

When they disembarked at the fire Buck was focussed on the job and he listened to the debriefing intently.

An estimated 15 people still inside, a veritable rat maze and little to no windows. It did not bode well for the people they were there to save.

“I don’t have to tell you this, but I don’t want heroics. This is not a situation where we get everyone out. In fact you don’t have to enter if you don’t feel equipped. Our biggest concern right now is getting the fire stamped out.”

Buck knew he was going in. Even if just into the first section of apartments. And he knew that Tyler would be going with him. They didn’t even need to discuss it, bumping the sides of their fists, they filed off to grab their equipment.

“Let’s do this,” Tyler said, and led the way into the burning structure.

…

It was Buck.

At first Eddie thought he was hallucinating, but he wasn't the only one who had clocked the other man.

Bobby’s expression was distraught at seeing Buck for the first time since it had all gone down. Eddie had overheard talk that Bobby wasn’t handling the removal of Buck from his life, but you wouldn’t know it by talking to the man. He acted as though Buck would be back eventually.

Distance from the situation, plus therapy, had shown Eddie that Bobby had been in the wrong. In fact the only one who still thought their captain was right, was Bobby and Chimney.

But while Bobby had done it in a misguided, selfish attempt to keep Buck safe, Chimney was vocal in his agreement that it was best to keep Buck out of the 118. At first Eddie hadn’t understood why, but hindsight showed that Chimney had always been jealous of Buck. And now his derision for Buck wasn’t hidden behind jokes.

It made for a clear divide in the station. Those who still talked to Buck, those like him and Hen who wanted to apologise to Buck, and then Chimney.

But now wasn’t the time to think about the tension running through his station. No, now Eddie was watching his best friend enter a dangerous situation with another partner as backup.

The relief, fear, joy, self hatred wared inside of him, but he pushed it down. “I’m going to scope the exterior, some of the rooms have windows, might be able to help someone through,” he said, and Hen joined him without discussion.

It was another change to the station, though not formally paired, Chimneys attitude had begun pushing even Hen away.

“He looks good,” Hen remarked idly as they circled the building. Already the blaze was lessening under the massive torrent of water being dumped on it.

“He does,” Eddie agreed. It was clear that Buck had bulked up.

The first window was a bust, but at the second one Eddie heard his name. “Eddie,” Buck repeated, standing at the small window with a little girl in his arms. He lifted her through and into Eddie’s arms without delay, turning and disappearing into the smoke like an apparition.

The girl coughed and groaned, burns covering the length of her right arm so Eddie broke into a jog, carrying the girl to triage and leaving her in the capable hands of the 122.

By the time he rounded the building back to his initial spot, Hen was pushing past him holding a small dog and overweight cat.

After that it was a quick operation, another two people pushed through the windows, and then the backside of the structure collapsed.

Eddie’s heart was in his throat as the Captain of the 122 instructed all firefighters to evacuate immediately.

But he couldn’t check on Buck, he and Hen still needed to finish their check around the outside of the building. During which they found a teenager, not much older than a boy, who had clearly climbed out of the small window without help. He was surprisingly okay at a first glance, moving on his own with ease. Even still, they hurried him to the triage together, confirming through the radio that they had cleared the left side and around the back.

Cameras tracked them as they assisted the boy through the smoke, but Eddie’s gaze was focused on the mouth of the structure. The fire had been all but stamped out. And dawn was breaking in the horizon, as off to the right with his team, Buck stripped his shirt off as one of his team checked his ribs with a laugh.

Eddie ached to call out to Buck. He hungered with the need to enter the other man’s orbit once more.

But he couldn’t make this decision. Buck needed to meet him in the middle. As if hearing his thoughts, Buck looked up and locked eyes with Eddie.

It was what he imagined drowning to feel like. This intense pressure deep in his chest, caught in the vibrant blue of Bucks eyes. He knew if he just let the air in, everything would stop hurting, but God, if that wasn’t terrifying.

And then Buck was walking towards him.
In amongst the chaos of ambulances being loaded, trucks being repacked, police securing the scene, and news stations clambering for information. In amongst the breaking light, the returning birdsong, the beginning of a light rain, and a joyful reunion between mother and child.

In amongst the good and the bad, two people stood on the presipus of something new. And they meet in the middle, for the first time in a long while.

“Eddie.”

“Buck.”

…

‘I’ll text you’ Buck had said to him. It echoed in his head over and over and over on the drive back to the station.

It was all he could do not to vibrate out of his skin. As it was found it hard to concentrate on the conversation happening around him.

He could make out Hen arguing with Chimney. And more than that, Bobby, of all people, wading into the fray.

But it didn’t matter. Buck had wasted no time, and had texted him already. Their shift would be over in an hour and a half, and he would be meeting Buck for breakfast.

Eddie knew better than to tell his coworkers. Once there had been intense personal trust between them all, but now, while he trusted them to have his back in the field, he couldn’t say the same about his personal business.

Instead, he just waved goodbye once their shift was done, pulling himself into his truck and heading toward the cafe Buck had suggested.

He was focused on the drive. Too good a driver, and too aware of the consequences to not pay full attention to the road. It didn’t mean his mind didn’t try and distract him though.

But nerves kept him alert, even as he parked and jogged across the road. It wasn’t a surprise to find the cafe mildly busy, it was the breakfast rush after all, but even still Buck was easy to find.

He looked both different and unchanged.

New tattoos covered his arms, his size had increased substantially, and his hair wasn’t slicked back, instead his natural curls sat freely.

But at the same time, the nervous expression was the same. The woody scent of his cologne was the same. And the ridiculous frappe showed that Buck was still Buck.

“Hey Buck,” Eddie said, feigning confidence as he slipped into the seat opposite him.

“Eddie. It’s good to see you,” Buck replied and Eddie couldn’t deny that his heart lept at the knowledge. Further accompanied by a cup of coffee Buck slid his way.

“Ditto,” he replied. It was awkward. And that hurt. A lot.

“I got your letter,” Buck said after a moment. “Thank you for reaching out, and respecting my wish to remain private. I’m not ready to see the others, I don’t know when or if I will be. But you showed real change and remorse, and I guess I just want to know if that’s still true.”

“Of course it is,” Eddie couldn’t hold the words back. “I’ve been so angry since Shannon came back into our lives, and when she died it made me put all of that away, but I still felt it all.” He sipped his coffee and sighed, perfect.

“I was so busy keeping a lid on it that I neglected our friendship, and when you mentioned you were struggling I resented that you were asking for help, and that you respected yourself enough to help yourself. You bore the brunt of that anger, and it wasn’t fair. Once I realised how I’d fucked up with you I knew I needed therapy. I asked Carla for help, and told Chris, Tia and Abuela about what I’d done.”

Bucks face showed surprise and a hint of respect. Eddie guessed it was because his catholic guilt wasn’t ruining another part of his life.

“My therapist has really helped me realise that it’s valid to feel anger toward Shannon, and that I need a healthy outlet for my emotions. He recommended I sign up for kickboxing, and so far it’s helped.” Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “That’s not to say that it excuses what I did. I’m so very sorry, and I’m incredibly ashamed of how I treated you.”

“Thank you, I appreciate you saying that,” Buck said, but Eddie could still see the walls were up.

He knew that there was one thing that wouldn’t go quite as smoothly. “How I acted that day, in the supermarket. The things I said; I was lying. I swear on Christopher, that I have never thought of you as exhausting.” Sometimes he woke in a cold sweat, thinking of that moment and the look on Bucks face. It haunted him, and he deserved that, but he hoped that it didn’t haunt Buck.

“I realise now, that me telling you to suck it up was what I thought I should do. In my head I heard my father, and what he told me at Shannon’s funeral. In someways it’s the same fucked up way that he thinks that’s helpful advice, that made me think I was helping you. I could see that what you were doing, fighting for your job was affecting Bobby’s respect for you. I thought that you were risking your job by suing. But that’s not on you.”

There was a beat of silence, and Buck didn’t help Eddie settle into it comfortably.

“You were right to sue. I know it, and the rest of the 118 know it. I can’t speak for them, and you deserve to hear any apologies from the source. But I will always regret letting my traumas create new traumas for you.”

Eddie picked up his coffee and chugged half of it in one go. It gave him something to do. And thankfully it wasn’t hot, but delightfully warm, lighting him up from the inside.

“Thank you Eddie. I appreciate the apology, and I’m proud of you for getting therapy,” and it was clear looking at Buck that he meant it. “But I can’t just forget what you said, or what you did. You were my best friend, and over the course of a couple of weeks, or even months, you let me down again and again. I want you back in my life but we’ll have to work at being friends again. I’d like to try, if you’d be willing to meet me halfway.”

He’d not even hoped for it to go this well, but as always, Buck was in his corner.

“I want that more than anything,” Eddie said smiling at his friend who tentatively smiled back.

It wasn’t perfect but it was a start.

Chapter Text

Chris had been waiting when Buck pulled into Eddie’s driveway early on Saturday morning, his smile bright enough to be seen from space. He knew his own expression had been much the same, a testament to the relationship they’d built in the short time they’d known each other.

It was why he was here, afterall. For the small boy hurrying toward him.

Buck was out of the jeep the moment the engine was off, meeting Chris in the middle of the yard with a laugh as one of Chris’ crutches hit him awkwardly in his good leg. But it hadn’t hurt. Buck didn’t think anything could hurt at that moment.

It didn’t mean he was thrilled to catch sight of Eddie, who watched from the doorway. But Buck didn’t let it bother him, instead focusing on the happy boy in his arms. “Say bye to your dad and we’ll hit the road Superman.”

And it made sense that Eddie would appear at Chris’ shoulder to say goodbye, but even still, Buck couldn’t help but wish Eddie had kept his distance. It made it harder to pretend in front of Chris that everything was okay.

“Bye kiddo, you have fun with your Bucky,” Eddie said, running a hand over Chris’ hair. “Bye Buck, I’ll see you two later.”

Buck just nodded to Eddie without a word, carrying Chris to the car with ease. He didn’t rush, but didn’t linger like he once would have, and he didn’t bother looking in the rear view mirror as he pulled away,

If he had he would’ve seen Eddie watching them until they disappeared out of sight.

Instead he put the man from his mind and focused on having the best day with the boy. It helped that he knew the girls were having a fun day with their Aunt Maddie, and so he didn’t feel too guilty leaving them at home to spend time one on one with Chris.

He’d made sure to do the same with them too, carving out time to spend with the girls one on one. Sometimes, like now, there would be an overlap. Both Betsy and Chris interested in space. Stacey on the other hand didn’t share a lot of similar interests with the two kids, having roped him into a visit to the art gallery the last time they’d gone out just the two of them.

And so Buck had followed Chris around, listening to him chatter away, and inserting his own facts to the awe of his superman. The boy had been sorely missed, but Buck couldn’t help but feel a little unsettled as he dropped Chris home that afternoon.

They’d had a lot of fun at the planaterium, and it was clear that Chris had really missed Buck, just as Buck had missed Chris. But a grey cloud hung over his head; there was nothing that Buck wanted more than to have Chris meet his girls.

There was a room in his house that once Buck had imagined as Chris’. But Chris was still so young, and Eddie could easily take his access away again. He was only an ex co-worker (ex friend) of Eddie’s after all.

Buck had talked to his therapist, and later Maddie, about his worries, and had come to the conclusion that he would step back, just a little. If it were just him then he would be all in, reaping the pain and consequences if they were separated again. But Chris would struggle, had struggled, from losing Buck from his life. And it was clear that Chris had started to see Buck as a parent.

Once that would have made him so happy, but Eddie had made it clear that he didn’t want that for his son, and he had to respect that.

It meant though, that Buck had a goal to achieve. And that goal was to ease Chris into a little less BuckandChris time, and make him less reliant on Buck. It would hurt, but Chris’ well-being was more important than his own.

Even still he did mourn, just a little, because In an ideal world he and Eddie would be together raising the girls and Chris. But it wasn’t to be. And Buck was determined to take the pieces and make something different but just as happy. It would just take a little pain to get there.

…

It didn’t take Eddie long to notice that things weren’t the same. He had tried not to be discouraged by the way Buck was keeping him at a distance, but it hurt.

He wondered if this was how Buck had felt, on the fringes of work and friendship. And he struggled to keep in the well of emotion at the idea of it. Feeling had become easier since starting therapy, but a lot harder to keep inside. And work had begun to really test him.

“She still isn’t responding to me,” Chimney complained to Hen as he entered the kitchen.

“Have you tried giving her space?” Hen clearly didn’t want to hear about his and Maddie's relationship drama. Again.

“Why would she want space?” Chimneys tone showed surprise, and Eddie had to turn away to hide his eye roll. “She’s the one that reached out last.”

“Yeah, a week ago Chim. What did she even say, you never told me.”

Eddie continued pretending that he wasn’t paying attention. From out of the corner of his eye he could see Mutt blatantly watching the two as
Chimney pulled his phone from his pocket, reading the text in its entirety. “A little birdy just told me that you went out of your way to date someone who assaulted my brother.’ But I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

Mutt laughed. It wasn’t a pretty sound. “Remember when someone was using Bucks photos to catfish women? One turned up here throwing stones at our windows and you thought it was funny to invite her in. She hit Buck across the face.” Eddie had never heard that story but he wasn’t impressed with Chimney. Was fucking furious really. “You took her out on a date afterwards and then tried to rub it in Buck's face that you’d stolen a date off him.”

“Dios,” Eddie muttered, giving up his charade at not listening.

“She wasn’t the only woman that assaulted Buck because of the catfish, you remember that woman that threw a drink in his face? I remember you saying you wish you’d been there.”

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Chimney denied, waving a hand. “And anyway, Buck shouldn’t be running to his sister about every little thing.”

Eddie wasn’t so sure that Buck had been the one to tell, and he was proved right when he caught sight of Hens guilty expression.

“I told her.” Hen swallowed visibly, harshly. “I was having lunch with Maddie, you know we’ve become friends since you two started dating, and it came up. I’d never realised how it sounded till then, but Maddie got it immediately.”

“Got what?”

“That we all watched a woman assault Buck in his place of work, and did nothing about it. That we talked about your date with her, and didn’t think about how it would affect him.”

“He’s an adult, he didn’t need coddling.” Chimneys head tilted a little, “though I guess that’s not true since he ran away.”

Mutt scoffed a laugh, not looking away from his magazine.

“Okay what’s your problem?” Chimney said, raising his voice and stepping toward the other man.

“You.” Mutt said, not elaborating.

It was clear Chimney was at a loss, his mouth open on a word he hadn’t thought of yet. He’d obviously expected Mutt to stand down.

“You’ve all done Buck dirty, but none more so than you. And I’m sorry if you don’t want to hear it, but you aren’t in the right here.” Jonsey wasn’t normally in the habit of getting involved in station disputes, but this situation had shown that everyone needed to take a stand.

Hopps shook her head in agreement. “We all fucked Buck over. Not one of us reached out when the Captain removed him from the group chat, and we all let our communication with him lapse. The three of us aren’t close with him,” she motioned to herself and the two men, “but we could have reached out to him anyway. We didn’t and we have to live with that. But Jonesy couldn’t be more right. Han, you’ve treated Buck like shit since the day he started, and the whole time you’ve called it friendship.”

Only one person there seemed amused with Chimneys derision toward Buck, and if the sight of him cresting the stairs didn’t piss Eddie off, his words did.

“Buckleys not even here anymore and he’s still the centre of attention.” Eric had never been overly friendly with any of them, but he’d been vocal about his anger with Buck since the lawsuit.

A relic from Gerrards time as captain, there was a rumour that Eric was being pushed into early retirement in response to allegations from the lawsuit.

But what Eric didn’t stop to think about was that it was his own actions that would result in the end of his career.

Afterall, the information supplied to Bucks lawyer was easy to find, and for the most part wasn’t actually negative. Well, unless you’d actually done wrong. Upon mentioning that to his therapist, the man had made a good, if broad point.

“Why do you think your team is angry at Buck, when these are the consequences of individual actions? Say I stole something, and blamed you. In return you gave the police the information needed to clear your name, and that resulted in me getting charged for the crime. Would it be fair for me to be mad at you? It appears that there is an issue with accountability and herd mentality in your workplace, and it is alarming.”

And Eddie thought of that session now, as Eric spouted off disgusting rhetoric about Buck. It surprised him. Truly, because he’d never thought anyone he worked with was capable of acting like this.

“You need to take accountability,” Eddie said finally, breaking through his coworkers barrage.

Silence.

“What?” Eric’s expression was as surprised as the rest of them.

Eddie could see why they had so many issues. They were fighting in the workplace, and there was no sign of their captain. “We all need to take accountability. I’m the one that froze out my best friend because I wasn’t dealing with my personal issues. Bobby was the one that lied to Buck and to the department to stop Buck from coming back to work, all because he was scared. Bobby’s also the one who let me, Chimney, Hen and you back early without the proper checks and balances.”

Eddie rubbed a hand down his face roughly and sighed. “Did it suck having to tell a panel that I watched my wife die and then days later I was back at work? Yes. Was Hen hurt having to talk about an accident that wasn’t her fault but has impacted how she works? Yes. But none of that is Bucks fault. If anyone is to blame it’s our Captain. The only one who has done wrong other than Bobby is you.”

Hen was nodding. From their short chats about Buck, they’d both agreed that Buck hadn’t fucked up. And neither of them could figure out why they’d felt so betrayed. It wasn’t like the information used had been bad, or used against anyone other than their captain. And it had shown that Buck was right, Bobby was biased.

It had been what had led to Eddie getting therapy, and Hen hadn’t been far behind.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Eric was mad. Visibly, loudly mad. And finally it had caught Bobby’s attention.

Seeing the Captain appear out of the corner of his eye, Eddie continued, “you got the shit end of the stick coming back to work before you were medically clear, but that doesn’t excuse you indulging in prescription meds to ease the pain. You're the one who took the pills, and you’re the one who made bad calls because of it.”

To be honest Eddie was surprised that Eric hadn’t been let go yet. Though Hen had told him she thought it was tied into Bobby's culpability, and the captain's actions in authorising early returns. It was a domino effect, and he was starting to realise that the older man had really caused issues for the department.

He didn’t think Bobby was a bad person, but it was clear that somewhere up the chain there was a gap. How else would a man like Bobby be allowed to be Captain without therapy. It truly baffled him that therapy wasn’t a permanent LAFD mandate for all firefighters and dispatchers. He knew some had tried petitioning for each station to have a therapist in house once a week, and while he’d raged against it once, he could see how helpful it would have been.

Maybe they wouldn’t be here now.

And since it wasn’t mandated, it was clear Bobby wouldn’t be getting therapy. Worse, it didn’t seem like the Chiefs were stepping in anytime soon.

God he hoped he was wrong.

…

The very next day, before their shift was released, Chief Alonzo gathered them all in the loft.

“Much of what I have to say will be surface level. I will not be sharing personal issues outside of what is classed as terms of employment. That said, Eric Bord.” All eyes swung to the man at the back of the huddle.

“You were failed by your Captain, however that does not mean you did not in turn fail the department. Follow me.” But Eric didn’t move, instead holding his ground with a sour look on his face.

“Just say it in front of everyone,” the man spat. And though Chief Alonzo didn’t seem inclined to do so, it was clear Bobby had no such qualms.

“The department is offering you a fire marshal job for your last five years of service.” The man had been counting down his retirement once he’d hit 50. “Your other option is to take early retirement. Your pension will not be affected by this.”

Eddie would pay good money to be a fly on the wall during the meeting between Alonzo and Bobby later. From the expression on the Chief's face, disregarding privacy and airing Eric’s options in public had pissed off the department even more than before.

“Retirement,” Eric said. It was clear he’d heard the rumours too, that or he was smart enough to realise what way the wind was blowing.

“I’m surprised he took retirement,” Hen would whisper to him later. “He’s still got a bit left on his mortgage, and he needed these last couple years of work to pay it off. Our pension only stretches so far after all.” Eddie wouldn’t ask how she knew that, Chimney had no issues sharing any little thing he overheard.

“You’re all dismissed,” Alonzo said, waving a hand at them, “Captain Nash, with me.”

It felt good to know that Eric was leaving. And didn’t that make him feel a little guilty, but the team had struggled with trusting him in the field since the lawsuit.

Now they just needed to keep busy for half an hour until they could go home, stay out of Eric’s way, and if they were lucky they’d learn what was happening in Bobby’s office.

…

Buck continued to go out of his way to not see Eddie without Chris, and therapy had told him that tricking Buck into seeing him would be a disaster.

Instead, he asked Buck to come over while Chris was at school so they could talk. He’d never know that the message had sent shards of ice through Bucks gut. But he did know that Buck agreed, and within the hour the two were sat at the kitchen table with coffee.

It felt odd to be sat at the kitchen table, rather than on the couch, but it was an important conversation.

“Do you think we’ll ever be the same?”

Bucks eyes widened visibly but he kept his cool.
“I don’t know. I’ve thought about it, and I’ve mostly forgiven you for freezing me out, treating me like shit, and yelling at me in the supermarket.” Buck sighed. “Actually, the confrontation at the supermarket was the push I needed to move stations, so I guess you’re the reason I’m happy at my new station.”

Eddie hadn’t heard that before. “What?” His voice was a croak.

“Yeah. I had planned to use the lawsuit to come back to station 118, and then you yelled at me, told me to suck it up and that I was exhausting, and everyone just watched. It’s when I realised that the family I thought I had was a lie. But I’ve found something so much better.” Buck wasn’t trying to be mean. Well, not entirely.

Eddie knew it to be true. Could see it all over Bucks face. Even if his ex partner didn’t talk about work (or his private life, or really anything outside of Chris) he could see that Buck was happy. Incredibly happy.

“Buck, I’m so sorry. I was pushing my problems onto you, and I will never forgive myself for what I said to you.”

“It’s forgiven. But that’s only because I have other people in my life to tell me I’m not exhausting,” Buck said it like a joke, but it hit Eddie hard. “It wasn’t just you, yeah okay you were the one screaming, but no one else stood up for me. It was everyone there that day that let me down.”

Eddie didn’t know what to say. He could feel the distress spreading throughout his body.

But Buck continued, “since we’re communicating clearly now, I want you to know that I’ve forgiven, but I’ve not forgotten.”

The phrase would echo in Eddie’s head till it was all he could think. He’d been naive to think that things between them would go back to normal.

“Did you want to watch a movie with Chris and I tonight?” Eddie asked.

‘I’ve forgiven, but I’ve not forgotten.’

“No that’s okay thanks, I have dinner plans.”

It was something Eddie had noticed since Buck had re-entered their lives. He spent very little time with them now.

Before, Buck would have spent a few nights a week on the couch, helping Chris with homework, and cooking dinner. The next morning he would be up and helping with the morning routine. And then the weekends they had off would be spent taking Chris to the zoo, or the park, or the museum. Wherever Chris wanted to go.

Now, he was lucky to even get a wave from Buck. He still took Chris out sometimes on weekends, but only when Eddie couldn’t make it. In fact it felt like Eddie was a divorced dad, sharing 80/20 custody.

“Why don’t you spend as much time with Chris?”

Eddie didn’t mean to say it. But he really wanted to know the answer. Bucks expression turned melancholy. “Because I don’t want him to get too attached again just for us to be separated.”

Eddie was the worst. He was scum. He didn’t deserve forgiveness.

‘I’ve forgiven, but I’ve not forgotten.’

“Buck, I would never separate you two again.”

“I didn’t think you’d do it a first time.” Silence filled the room, and Eddie worked his jaw thinking of what to say. But after a moment of silence Buck stood from the table only half an hour into arriving. The taller man made an aborted move to clap Eddie on the shoulder, turning it into a small wave instead.

Oh how Eddie burned to be touched by Buck again. Hadn’t realised how reliant he was on the casual affection between him and the other man, not until it was gone.

‘I’ve forgiven, but I’ve not forgotten.’

He had an idea. One that would show Buck that they were in this together and there was no splitting them up again.

…

“You updated your will?” Pepa sounded surprised and confused.

“Yes Tia. I’ve made Buck Chris’ guardian if anything happens to me.”

It had been an easy choice and one that would hopefully show Buck that he was a part of their family.

He would be disappointed. While Buck and Chris were happy with the decision, it didn’t change much. After all it didn’t mean that Buck had rights to Chris, just that he would be his guardian if Eddie died.

He would need to set his other plan into motion.

Chapter Text

Buck almost couldn’t believe it sometimes. Life was good. Really good.

Stacey had dropped the shitty job she worked, and started focusing on more than just college entrance. Beginning with learning to drive with Buck as her instructor.

To no surprise she’d passed her test with flying colours, and relished the freedom of driving. Buck badly wanted to buy her a car, but he needed to talk to Lucy, their care worker first.

Waiting to hear back from Lucy was torture, but finally, ten minutes before the girls were due home she called.

“We’re good to go. I’m sending you some documents, read them over, talk to the girls and sign them. Once that’s done we can go to the state to legally get the girls adopted. Congrats Buck.”

Buck knew that the girls would be home any minute and he knew that he’d never hear the end of it if they caught him crying over their upcoming adoption. He couldn’t help it though. He was so happy.

“Buck,” Betsy called, audibly dumping her bag in the entryway. He knew he’d trip over it later but he could deal with that another time. Right now he wanted to talk to the girls.

“Can you two come here please.”

The minute that both girls were visible to him he blurted out what Lucy had told him. And suddenly he wasn’t the only one with glassy eyes.

His girls piled onto the couch on either side of him and cuddled in. Before he knew it he was falling victim to their pouty faces, queuing up Star Wars, and ordering pizza.

Settled in, Betsy turned to Buck and with complete seriousness asked, "I've never had a dad before, can I call you dad?”

“We talked about it, and with the adoption going through, there’s no reason not to get fully attached. I mean, you’ve been our dad since the moment we stepped foot in this house, but we’d really love it if we could call you dad,” Stacey said.

Bucks eyes welled and he blinked back tears before the girls could see them. “You two have been my daughters since Lucy first called me, I tell everyone about my two kids, and I have never been so happy in my life. I’d be honoured to be called your dad.”

“Okay cool,” Stacey said. “Can we get cake for desert please dad.”

He couldn’t even be annoyed that he’d been played, “yeah kiddo we can get cake.”

…

The next morning Buck threw himself into looking for a car for Stacey. In part it was to reward the teen for all her hard work. The other part was to distract himself from the oddness with Eddie.

Since finding out about Eddie’s updated will, things had been weird. It had only been a week, but it was clear the other man was planning something. And it was becoming harder to not forgive Eddie.

But he pushed that from his mind. He’d found the car. It wasn’t fancy, but it was tidy and reliable, and Stacey would make it her own. She’d shared her plans to decorate her future car, and give it some personality.

He couldn’t wait to see her face when he gave her the car. And he was hopeful that it would give the girls more time together to learn how to be sisters.

It helped that they were flourishing now that they could both be kids. Outside of their mothers strict schedules, they were discovering that they had a lot in common. Beginning with their happiness in their new lives.

Because while Stacey relished the freedom Buck gave her, Betsy was loving the structure of her new life. She was never lonely, and she had a routine that revolved around keeping her happy and healthy. To a girl that had spent her life feeling like an annoyance, she had taken to the changes like a duck to water.

And currently the girl couldn’t decide if she wanted to be a ballerina, gymnast or chef. So of course she was learning how to be all three. Never before had she had such attention from a parent, and more than that, she had room to find out her wants and needs.

Like her older sister, Betsy was coming into her own.

…

Eddie still didn’t know what had changed about Buck, but there was something so different in the way he carried himself. At the same time though, he was still the same Buck he loved and respected.

Their reignited friendship meant the world to Eddie, and it showed in every aspect of his life. He was lighter, happier, more grounded. Chris was reaping the rewards of a happier dad, and had cried the first time he’d hung out with both Buck and his dad at once.

It felt like nothing had changed. They went to the zoo, and ate their weight in breakfast foods at the diner close to their house. But when Chris asked if Buck was staying the night, Buck shook his head.

“Sorry superman, I’ve got plans tonight,” Buck said.

Buck had a lot less time to spend with Chris (them).

And it was kind of driving Eddie nuts. It was why he’d moved forward with his knee jerk plans. He just needed to get up the courage to put it into play.

But first he needed to see where Bucks head was at.“Do you have a girlfriend?” He finally asked Buck, after sending Chris off to shower.

The other man laughed, “I think you’d know if I was dating someone,” Buck shook his head, “why, what’s up?”

Eddie felt relief light up his body. He couldn’t even pretend that he wasn’t relieved that Buck was still single.

“I honestly am busy, I’m not quite as unattached as I was when I worked at the 118.” It sounded somewhat forbidding to Eddie. “Why don’t you and Chris come over tomorrow for breakfast, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“Yes,” Eddie said without hesitation. “Text me your new address and we’ll be there.”

Buck smiled back at Eddie and his worry faded. He wouldn’t be steered wrong by Buck.

It was time. 

He breathed in four seconds, held it for four seconds then let it out for four seconds.

“I want you to adopt Chris.”

“Adopt Chris?” Buck was baffled.

“We already raise him like a divorced couple, why couldn’t you adopt him so we can share custody.”

It made sense. To Eddie.

Buck almost couldn’t believe how insane it was.

“I know this might be a surprise, but I wanted to show you that you’re a permanent in Chris’ life, just as much as I am.”

“You’re right. It is a surprise. And it’s not something I can give you an answer for yet.” He didn’t want to even think about telling the girls, but he would need to before moving forward. And he’d need to talk to his sister. And his therapist.

“I want to do couples therapy.”

Eddie looked surprised, but then nodded easily. “I’ll find someone and organise it.”

Nodding, Buck looked around the kitchen trying to think of how to phrase his question.

“Just say it,” Eddie joked, looking worried.

“Are you sure you want me to adopt Chris? I mean, we’ve only known each other for just over a year.”

“I know. I know it’s not been long. But I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Buck, you fit in our family; you are our family.” Eddie sighed.

He’d spent days (weeks) thinking about this. “In the fifteen months we’ve known each other, we’ve spent at least 72 hours a week at work together. That’s nearly half a week already. And then we spent at minimum a full 24 hours hanging out outside of work. In 168 hours a week, we spent more than over half of it together, and I’m counting hours spent sleeping.”

Buck hid a smile. He might be shit at math, but that was a lot of time.

“And okay, you haven’t spent as much time with Chris, he’s not at work with us afterall. But you’ve been there for almost every facetime I had with him. He calls you most days. Just to chat, or for help with homework, or so you can read him a bedtime story. He’s done that for months. Buck, you’ve been helping me raise him for at least a year.”

It somewhat came as a shock. To have it all laid out like that. Realistically he knew that he was close with the Diaz’s. But this was something different.

Maybe he should have expected Eddie to notice. After all Buck had gone to parent-teacher night with him. Had dropped Chris off at birthday parties and school events. He’d baked with Chris when he needed cookies for school.

Those moments didn’t make him Chris’ parent. But added to everything else it painted a startling picture.

“We’ve spent more time together in one year than most people spend together in five. I’ve never trusted anyone more than I trust you,” Eddie said.

And Buck, he’d buried that hope, the hope that Chris could be his. That Eddie could too. But today he was learning that maybe what he had been feeling wasn’t one sided.

Buck couldn’t help but be amazed. Eddie really had changed and grown as a person. He was still hurt, and clinging to his resentment, but Buck liked who Eddie had become.

It would be enough for now.

….

Bright and early in the morning, Buck let himself out of the house with the dogs. While the girls were asleep he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to run. Neither girl was interested in anything faster than a moderate walk, so it wasn’t often he got to let the dogs really use up their energy. 

His thoughts had kept him up half the night. Realistically he knew Eddie and Chris would take this well. But his brain refused to believe it. 

He also needed to talk to the girls about the Diazs’ spending more time together. It would be as if they were gaining a brother. That, he knew would go mostly smoothly. They’d been jokingly calling Chris his son since the first day. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to tell them about Eddie’s idea for him to adopt Chris.

He worried that they might feel resentful to have to share his attention. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to go through with it. 

And when he’d talked to Maddie, telling her Eddie’s plan she’d said, “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She wasn’t wrong. 

But at the same time, only something so ridiculous could prove to Buck that Eddie was serious about Bucks place in their lives. 

But between couples therapy and spending time with Chris and Eddie, it seemed unnecessary. 

Which he supposed meant that he trusted Eddie. 

It was a revelation he wasn’t sure how to feel about. On one hand he was happy to get back to where he’d been with Eddie. But on the other hand he couldn’t help but worry about falling into old habits. 

Because his friendship with Eddie also meant the likelihood of seeing the 118 rose. 

Buck pushed his worries from his mind and hit the pavement, running to the beat of the playlist his girls had made for this exact scenario. They’d named it ‘ahhh run for your life.’ 

God he hadn’t thought he could love someone so much, and then he’d meet the girls. What he felt for Chris was so incredibly similar that it still caught him off guard sometimes. 

Buck waved at his neighbours as he jogged around the neighbourhood. He’d barely worked up a sweat, but felt a lot more loose and limber. 

He was clearing the distance to his house when a car pulled into his driveway. Eddie leaned out the window and wolf whistled playfully. He could hear Chris, clearly excited about seeing him (and dogs) and he let out a laugh as he drew closer. 

Eddie was already out of the car greeting the dogs happily, accepting their licks and nudges with a grin. Buck handed the lead off to his friend and rounded the car to free Chris who wasted no time clomping toward the two dogs. 

“I see why you can’t spend as much time,” Eddie said to Buck quietly. But Buck shook his head. 

“This is the least of it,” he admited. “Come in,” he said motioning for them to follow him. Inside he led them to the kitchen, pulling out the fixings for pancakes, and sliding a large jug of juice onto the counter. “Cups are in the cupboard by the oven,” Buck said. 

While Eddie poured three cups of juice, Buck mentally prepared. 

“So, during the tsunami there were these two girls, sisters, who I pulled from the water. Chris you might remember them, their mom was there too and she wasn’t very well.”

Chris nodded, “their mom died.” Eddie choked on the juice, “damn, kid.”

“Yes. Their mom died. And they didn’t have any other family left.” Buck paused to sip his juice. He could see that Eddie looked confused, but thankfully wasn’t interrupting. 

It wouldn’t matter though, because from the bowels of the house came Betsy’s loud voice, “dad!” 

He could hear her opening his bedroom door and when she found it empty she called for him again. “Dad,” echoed down the hallway and Buck rolled his eyes. 

“Betsy, your sister's still asleep,” he called, about a third of the volume of the girl. The dogs met her at the kitchen door and loved on her the moment she was in sight. 

“Morning,” Betsy said, grinning at the man. “Morning Bets,” Buck replied, leaving the pancakes to sweep his daughter into a hug. He carried her, still giggling, to the breakfast bar. 

“Do you remember Chris, and this is his dad Eddie,” Buck said settling her into a seat. While he poured her a cup of juice she looked between child and adult curiously. 

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Eddie. Dad says you and Chris are his best friends. Well apart from me and Stacey.” 

His kid was so precocious. Buck coughed to hide his laughter. Eddie looked like he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. 

He’d said that Eddie had been his partner and best friend. Past tense, but he couldn’t take it back from Eddie. It was fine. They were on their way back to normality, and soon it would likely be true again anyway. 

Chris and Betsy were fast friends, chattering away so Buck waved Eddie over to update him on everything that had happened since their falling out. 

…

Eddie couldn’t believe it. Buck had just spent five minutes telling him about the girls who now called Buck dad. 

Never in a million years did Eddie expect this to be what Buck was hiding. It felt like his brain was moving through syrup as Buck plated the pancakes, putting a fifth plate into the microwave. 

While they ate, Buck let the kids take the lead, and Eddie couldn’t have argued, even if he wanted to. Betsy was adorable. So full of questions, and sass, she was so similar fo Buck it was baffling to think they shared no blood. 

Once the kids were done eating they hurried down the hallway to Betsy’s room without a by your leave. “Come on, I’ll show you the house,” Buck said. 

He pointed down the hallway the kids had gone down, “my room, Stacey’s and Betsy’s,” he indicated the rooms in turn. “Gyms down there with the bathroom, and the living room is through here.” It was an impressive space, made even more eye catching by the big mural taking up one whole wall. 

It was different from the one in the kitchen, but just as fitting for the space. Buck caught his eye, “the girls painted the murals,” he said but didn’t stay still. Next he showed him the backyard, which was massive and most importantly, in the corner was a large pool. 

“When we next have a weekend off, I was thinking you and Chris should come over and we can have a pool day.” 

Eddie would never say no to that. He wanted whatever he could get of Bucks new life. 

“The first weekend the girls were here we had the neighbours over,” Buck explained as Eddie eyed the patio furniture and fancy BBQ. “It was a lot of fun actually, I’ve had my coworkers over once and my Peru friends over a couple of times.” 

He’d meet a couple of bucks peru friends, and had heard about them enough that he knew how close they were. It was good that Buck had other people around him when the 118 had let him down so intensely. 

The massive changes to Bucks life would hit him later, but for now he could see a teenager bounding toward them. 

Stacey threw herself into Bucks arms with a laugh. “Morning dad, Bets says there’s pancakes for me.” She said.

Buck nodded, not letting her feet touch the ground as he walked them inside, and by the couch he gently let her go, laughing as she bounced. 

“In the microwave. Meet Eddie.” 

Stacey bounced off the couch and smiled at Eddie. “Hi Eddie, I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said, clearly trying to embarrass her dad. 

It was also slightly threatening. Her words were kind, but she narrowed her eyes at him. 

Eddie smiled at her though, “nice to meet you.” 

The teen left as quickly as she’d arrived, and once she was out of Bucks sight she turned to Eddie and made a ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. 

It hurt. To know that Bucks kid thought he needed to protect him from Eddie. But she was right. He’d apologised, changed, but now he needed to stay consistent and not let Buck down again. 

He could do it. 

Eddie focused his attention on Buck, reveling in being the centre of his attention, and before long Stacey was back, “dad, Mokoas here, we’re going to go for a swim.” 

A teenage boy appeared over her shoulder, waving. “Hi Buck.” 

“Hey Mokoa, you here for dinner? I’m thinking lasagna,” Buck asked. Eddie couldn’t believe how relaxed he was with his daughters boyfriend. He didn’t think he’d be quite so cool. 

The teens exchanged a look before the Hawaiian teen nodded enthusiastically. “Awesome, you know where everything is, mi casa su casa etc.” 

It was like looking at a different man. Buck was so settled and content. It was like this was the person he had always needed to be.