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Chapter Text

   "I wish the boys could've been here to see us off," Evie stated, guilt and sadness evident in her tone. She looked at Mal as they stood next to each other and waited by Evie's Jeep at the front doors of Auradon Prep.

"It's not your fault, E," Mal reassured her as she took Evie's hand.

"I could've scheduled us for the cruise happening the week after this one. Then they could be here," Evie told her, and Mal shook her head as she tightened her grip on Evie's hand.

"Look, as much as they and we would like to say goodbye to each other, I'm pretty sure camping probably tired them out and they're probably doing well to get home in a straight line, much less making a stop here," Mal confessed.

Mal's dad had already stopped to wish them a goodbye earlier. Evie just wished that the other guys in their life could come and wish them farewell.

Evie sighed softly, looking down at her.

"You think?"

"Need I remind you what our camping trip was like?" Mal looked up as she leaned into Evie's side, and Evie chuckled warmly, releasing Mal's hand in favor of wrapping her arm around her as she squeezed her arm.

"Don't worry, I remember plenty," Evie admitted, shaking her head.

It was Spring Break, and they were currently outside Auradon Prep as they waited on the other girls to finish up taking a bathroom break before they set off.

While the boys had gone on a camping trip and were currently on their way home, the girls had scheduled a cruise. It would be a five-day event, and Audrey was especially looking forward to it, especially since it was a trip that she had picked. She had been on a cruise before, and it would be a place where she would definitely be in her element.

After their past trips that included arresting, Uma getting her dog Jade, literal booby traps, and other shenanigans—not all in the same trip, of course— Audrey had been ready for a tamer trip.

However, it remained to be seen whether it actually would be.

After Uma had gotten in touch with Ella and Bridget and discussed the details with them, they gained two new additions to their usual group.

Unlike their previous adventures, Chloe and Red would be joining them for this trip.

Amazingly, it had actually been Uma's idea to bring them along, which Evie considered to be a true testament to how much that Red had gotten to Uma. Not that Uma did not like Chloe, but Evie knew that Red and Uma had a particularly special bond that Evie found to be very sweet.

Evie personally felt that it would be good for Red especially to go on this cruise. It would be a great experience for her, and she could find a good support system full of somewhat older role models who could provide a good example.

Mal suddenly started to laugh. Evie raised an eyebrow, finding it ironic how exactly that Mal timed her laughter with Evie's thoughts.

"Do you remember when Jane wiped her butt with poison ivy?" Mal questioned.

"Yes," Evie laughed with her, and Mal grinned as she looked at Evie mischievously.

"Do you remember when you stuck the EpiPen in Audrey's butt?" Mal questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"What was it with butts on that trip?" Evie grinned a gentler form of that thousand-watt smile, squeezing Mal's arm as she repositioned her hand a little to hold her tighter.

"I don't even know," Mal shrugged, pressing her head into Evie more firmly as she smiled and took in the scent that was so quintessentially and comfortably Evie.

"Oh, boy... Here comes Uma," Evie acknowledged.

Mal moved her face away from where she had it hidden in Evie's sleeve as she looked at the pirate heading their way. Uma looked over the grounds with a particular swagger that all but said that she was the queen of this place. Mal almost found it funny.

"You gonna tell her?" Mal inquired.

"Well, M, I don't really have another choice," Evie informed her, and Mal lifted her head from Evie as Evie gave her one last squeeze.

"Alright, y'all. I got Red and Chloe heading this way, and Audrey and Jane are somewhere behind me. They got held up in the bathroom. I done told Princess to pinch it off," Uma informed them, and Mal could not help but smirk at Uma's phrasing.

Evie made a slight face, and honestly, Mal was not sure if it was more about Uma's creative language or about what Evie was about to say to her.

"Uma... I have to tell you something."

"Yeah, yeah, pinch it off ain't proper and princessy to say. How many times do I gotta tell you that I ain't no princess? I ain't even principal right now. When break starts, I am officially fun Uma again," Uma informed them, grinning widely as she waggled her eyebrows.

Evie took in a deep breath, shaking her head.

"As much as I didn't appreciate your choice of words, I have something else I need to tell you," Evie confessed to her, and Uma looked at her.

"What's that?" Uma asked as she placed her hands on her hips.

"You need to move your stuff to the back," Evie started.

"It's in the back already," Uma huffed, still smiling.

Mal glanced at Evie, and the bluenette looked back at her for strength. She then looked at Uma once more.

"Like in the far back..."

"Why?" Uma asked, her smile faltering only a little.

"Because... Well... you're going to have to sit in the far back..."

Uma was dead silent as her smile dropped to nothing, just staring at Evie as she watched her for a long moment.

"Do what?"

Evie eyed her regretfully.

"You're going to have to sit in the far back," Evie repeated herself.

Uma seemed to spring to life as the words came through like a strike of lightning.

"What the—And you're just telling me this now?!!!" Uma cried.

"I'm sorry, Uma, but I thought that since you were used to the rear compartment that you would be more comfortable—"

"More comfortable?!!!" Uma cried, and Evie shook her head, still trying to explain.

"Look, the kids can't sit in the back! They're young and we have to prioritize! Children's safety first," Evie told her, and Uma scoffed, raising her eyebrows as she regarded her.

"So because I'm older than them, I'm basically worthless," Uma accused, and Evie was left instantly trying to backtrack and rephrase.

"No, I—"

"Look, I might be old but I'm too young to die!!!" Uma announced loudly, and Evie did not particularly love the way that she was nearly making a scene at this point.

However, she should have probably been used to it given the group that she spent time with.

"Uma—"

"Man, Shrimpy. Can't even take one for the team," Mal commented, effectively bringing her to an abrupt stop.

Uma narrowed her eyes, her attention instantly snapping to the faerie. Mal raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in her eye that was frighteningly reminiscent of Maleficent.

"Shrimpy?" a familiar, far-too-sly voice sounded off not far away. Uma instantly stopped, staring directly at Mal as she dreaded what was to come.

Uma was going to kill Mal for this one.

"Who's Shrimpy?" Chloe questioned from where she was behind Uma.

"Apparently Uma," Red commented as she came into view, moving to stand on the opposite side of Evie as she looked at Uma with nothing but the utmost interest. Chloe sidled up to Red, gazing with interest of her own as she clutched her suitcase in her hands.

However, the primary manner in which to differentiate between each of their interests was the wicked desire to wreak havoc and invoke wraths.

One could easily guess who had that desire.

"Red, pick a place in the backseat," Evie told her.

Red watched Uma, grinning as she eyed her, and Chloe, while curious, did not have the same wicked intent as Red.

While Red's gaze lingered on Uma, she put her suitcase in the back and headed toward the backseat, never removing her attention from Uma.

Uma knew this would not be the last she heard of Shrimpy from Red. Uma suspected that the only reason Red had left as easily as she had was because she was aiming for a window seat.

"Don't worry, Uma. I was called some embarrassing things as a kid," Chloe tried to reassure her.

"Oh, do tell, Chlo!" Red called.

Chloe shook her head, not about to let that secret out when Red could hear.

"Look, we ain't talking about Shrimpy," Uma laid down the law.

"Even though that was your name when you were a kid?" Red said, throwing her arm over the middle seat as she looked at Uma with squinted eyes.

"Did I pull your string?!" Uma turned to Red. Red shrugged.

"Uma, two adults have to sit in the far back," Evie interjected, and Uma faced her once more.

"Why can't you and Mal sit back there?!" Evie raised her eyebrows.

"Because! Elvira's my baby and I always drive her. And Mal always sits beside me. It's tradition," Evie declared.

Uma raised an eyebrow, scoffing.

"Yeah. And it's tradition for me to always sit up in an actual seat next to ol' Princess and Jane."

Audrey then came sashaying by, stopping to look at Uma as she clicked her tongue and offered her a onceover. There was a twinkle in her eyes, however, that indicated just how funny that she thought this was.

"Oh, Uma... Have fun in the far back," Audrey told her, putting her hand on her shoulder as she looked at her with a false kindness.

Uma just stared at Audrey as she offered her a smile that was nothing if not condescending. Uma narrowed her eyes as she glared at her. She then returned Audrey's expression with an evil grin of her own.

"Oh, Audrey. I always have fun when we're together," Uma told her with honeyed sweetness in her voice. She then turned her head to face Evie.

"Audrey's gonna sit in the back," Uma announced, and Audrey's mouth fell agape as she instantly stared at Uma.

"I am NOT!!!" Audrey cried, and Evie moved her head.

"Well, Audrey, we need one other person to sit in the back," Evie pointed out.

"And you know I get car sick," Jane spoke up, a worry in her gaze that she seemed to perpetually carry with her.

Audrey narrowed her eyes at her.

"Funny how that comes up just as soon as you face having to sit in cramped quarters with Uma," Audrey acknowledged, and Jane offered a nervous smile as she shrugged.

"Oh, Princess?"

Both Audrey and Chloe looked at Red as she beckoned, rolling her R's as she made an attempt to be funny. Red realized that she had successfully gotten both of their attention, and Red shook her head, waving Audrey off as she kept her eyes on Chloe.

"My Princess," Red clarified.

"Your Princess?" Chloe questioned, unable to resist teasing her about it. Red instantly shook her head, getting flustered.

"You know what I meant! Are you coming to sit?" Red called, and Chloe huffed, grinning as she put her suitcase in the back.

Chloe could not help the swell of affection in her chest. Red really was her best friend and even though she shied away from being too affectionate where everyone could see, she still cared so much for Chloe. Despite the fact that neither one of them had discussed it, Chloe could not help but wonder if she had become some manner of family to Red.

Chloe knew that Red had become family to her.

"Yeah, I'm coming. If you keep calling me your princess, though, I'm going to have to start treating you like one of my subjects," Chloe grinned as she came to the passenger side of the car.

"Ha, ha, ha. You're so funny that I forgot how to laugh," Red told her as Chloe slipped into the car and sat in the middle seat next to where Red had taken her window seat next to the car door.

Jane, looking between the backseat and Audrey, offered a regretful glance to the pink princess and headed for the place next to Chloe. Audrey furrowed her brow, growing more offended by the minute, and Evie glanced at Mal before moving past Audrey and heading for the front of the car. Mal headed toward the passenger seat, and Audrey started to stutter.

"Wait, wait, wait!!! I think we should talk about this!" Audrey cried.

"Evie?! Evie!!!" Audrey called, and Uma laughed before tapping Audrey on the shoulder to get her attention.

"Come on, Princess. Your chariot awaits," Uma told her, faking a bow.

Audrey scoffed, her face pinched up as she grumpily stomped past Uma and got in on the driver's side in the very back. She uncomfortably adjusted her dress as she tried to sit down on top of Evie's luggage.

Uma stepped up into the back, trying to position herself to sit down on one of Audrey's several suitcases.

Evie positioned her rearview mirror and looked into it as she checked that the mirror was facing the back of the car in the perfect placement. She then looked into it at Uma.

"Close us up, Uma," Evie told her, smiling, and Uma nodded to her as she grabbed part of the back hatch and pulled it to a close.

And so they set off on yet another adventure.

Chapter Text

"Y'know what'd be good for you, Evie?" Uma asked suddenly.

They had been out on the road for some time now, and Evie had taken the interstate rather than a more scenic route. She had Audrey and Uma duck whenever she saw a cop, and she had everyone else keep an eye out as well.

Evie raised an eyebrow, calmly responding to her.

"What's that?"

Uma took in a breath to speak, and Audrey watched her as she waited for whatever would come out of her mouth next.

"A minivan. That way, we could put them kids in the back where they go, and I could be up in the second row like I'm supposed to be," Uma informed her, and Evie huffed a little.

The day she got a minivan would be the day that definitely-not-Heaven froze over. She loved her Jeep more than anything. She first had Charlene and then after the wreck had happened with her, she got an identical Jeep Renegade that she called Elvira.

"Somebody would have to sit in the very back with Red and Chloe, though," Mal told her, and Uma huffed.

"See, look, by that logic, we'd just put Princess back there and she could hang out with them. She looks like babysitting material," Uma gestured in her direction across from her where Audrey was currently sitting.

Audrey slowly looked over at her as if she had sprouted three extra heads, her eyes narrowed. Uma just eyed her nonchalantly, offering her a brief onceover as she pretended that she did not know what the pink princess's problem was.

"What part of me screams babysitting to you?" Audrey finally asked her, and Uma offered her a smile that was very much the opposite of sincere.

"Must've been your sparkling personality. Or is that just that stupid glittery crap smeared on your face?" Uma gestured to Audrey's face.

Audrey gasped.

"That's highlighter!"

Uma instantly laughed, the sound deep and coming straight from her belly.

"That ain't no highlighter. If it was a highlighter that you put on your face, it'd probably look better than whatever that is," Uma pointed at her.

Mal glanced at Evie, ready for the eruption that was doubtlessly imminent.

"IT'S MAKEUP!!!!" Audrey screeched, and both Red and Chloe jumped at the sound. Jane simply remained calm, having been used to such shenanigans.

Audrey made a spitting noise as she tried to get Chloe's hair out of her mouth from where a bit of it had gotten loose and sprung into her face from Chloe's abrupt reaction to Audrey's shrill sound.

"Ah... Just like old times, huh?" Mal questioned, feigning nostalgia as she looked over at the eldest bluenette in the car.

Evie just laughed a little, raising her eyebrows.

"At least they're both in the far back this time," Mal commented, tilting her head. Evie pursed her lips a little before looking over at Mal.

"Y'know, maybe we should have done that a long time ago," Evie acknowledged. Mal huffed, grinning as she redirected her attention once again to the shenanigans in the back.

"This is contour!" Audrey declared, holding the stick in front of Uma as she stared her down.

Uma raised an eyebrow, looking in the direction of the others in the car.

"Here we go..."

Audrey withdrew a container of something else as she opened it and pointed to it.

"This is blush!" Audrey announced.

"Believe it or not, I do know what that one is," Uma grinned winningly as she raised her eyebrows.

Audrey pulled something else out as she practically shoved this one in Uma's face.

"And this one! This one is highlighter!"

Uma took it from Audrey, looking at it carefully before furrowing her brow and looking at Audrey once more.

"This don't look like no highlighter," Uma commented.

"Look," Audrey snatched it from Uma's grasp before opening it up. She stuck a finger on it, continuing as she reached out toward Uma, "You put it on like this—"

Uma smacked her hand away.

"Aw, no, I've seen enough. After you threw that schmutz on your face, I've got plenty of an idea of how good you put that stuff on," Uma told her, and Audrey started to turn a shade of red.

"I put on makeup just fine!" Audrey sounded utterly offended, and Mal got the feeling that they were about to be faced with another explosion.

"I mean, you do well for someone who has servants specifically for wiping her butt," Uma stated.

Audrey then turned full-on red as she launched into another scream.

"I DO NOT HAVE SERVANTS FOR WIPING MY BUTT!!!"

"Hey, Evie?" Chloe asked as she leaned up so that she could better speak to her hero.

Evie turned her head in the midst of driving to try to at least look in her direction.

"Yes, Chloe?"

"Do they always do this?" Chloe questioned, pointing back to the two in the back.

While Chloe knew that they fought horribly at school in Uma and Audrey's offices, Audrey screeching about something or another on the regular, she had thought that maybe them on vacation might go better.

Evie only took a small pause as she glanced at the two in the far back who were currently bickering as per usual.

"Yes, Chloe."

Red cleared her throat before speaking up.

"Hey, shut your piehole for a minute, Pinky," Red spoke up, holding up her hand as she stopped Audrey in the midst of whatever she was talking about for a minute.

Audrey instantly froze, glaring at Red as her mouth fell ajar. Red ignored her, focused on Uma.

"So, now that I have your attention—"

Red stopped as Chloe leaned back further and her hair got into Red's face. Red paused for long enough to get Chloe's hair out of her mouth and face. Chloe apologized, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

"What, Red?" Uma answered her.

Red got the hair out of her face, and then proceeded to continue.

"Do you guys hate each other or something or is this some kind of game that you two play that literally nobody understands?" Red questioned, and Audrey somehow looked even more offended as she sharply replied to the redhead.

"What part of this is any of your business?"

"Look, I'm currently stuck in the world's most uncool Jeep that's one step up from one of those box-shaped cars—"

"What?!" Evie cried, her voice strangled as she sounded as if she were about to have an actual aneurysm.

"And because we're stuck in a glorified shoebox instead of something that's actually big enough for seven people and you're right behind me piercing my eardrum, I feel like it has automatically become my business," Red informed Audrey.

"And not only because we're stuffed in this hatchback together, but I've actually been dying to ask this since you started being Assistant Principal at school," Red added on. "All you two do is fight."

"We do not!" Audrey defensively shot back at her.

"I am not driving a hatchback," Evie muttered unhappily, and Mal simply reached out her hand to squeeze Evie's shoulder comfortingly.

"Look, me and Princess have our own way of doing things," Uma told her, and Audrey huffed as she crossed her arms, positively offended at the mere implications of Red's declarations.

"In fact, if you must know, we're actually best friends," Audrey stated.

Red raised her eyebrows in recognition.

"Oh! So the five of you really are like the Golden Girls. Fight like cats and dogs but for some reason stick together," Red acknowledged, and Chloe looked horrified at Red's choice of analogies.

Audrey let out a long and deep breath, grumbling as she eyed the pirate across from her.

"Why exactly didn't you let her go home for Spring Break? It's your fault we're putting up with this," Audrey grumbled.

Uma sighed, exasperation evident in her features.

Red raised her eyebrows, a giant grin taking over her features as she looked at Uma with her bottom lip poked out.

"Aww, Uma," Red cooed, a mocking tone in her voice.

However, Chloe could clearly see through it to the softer emotions underneath the surface.

Uma's face turned to something more neutral as she glared at Red. She narrowed her eyes at her, just watching the younger girl.

"You really do care," Red added.

Uma rolled her eyes.

"If I didn't, you both would be expelled right now," Uma informed her, and Chloe's eyes widened as she turned to face Uma more fully.

"And trust me, we are eternally and inexplicably grateful," Chloe expressed. Uma raised an eyebrow, huffing as she rubbed her head.

"Good grief," Uma grumbled, and Red looked at Chloe, completely unimpressed.

"Overdoing it a little on the butt-kissing, don't you think?" Red asked.

"I am eternally and inexplicably grateful, though," Chloe looked at Red as if she had lost her mind, and Red shook her head tiredly.

"How many more hours until we get there?" Red asked Evie, tilting her head back a bit as she eyed the older bluenette through the rearview mirror.

"Well, actually, it's more of a matter of minutes at this point," Evie replied.

"Please tell me it's five. Audrey's stupid suitcase thing is sticking up in places we don't want to talk about," Uma complained as she shifted her sitting position.

"Gotta hate it when you get a handle stuck up in your crack," Red nonchalantly said, and Audrey looked at Red in disgust.

Chloe just looked at her in bewilderment, mouthing the word "what" as she eyed her with furrowed brows and squinted eyes.

"What? Like you have experience or something?" Audrey inquired, obvious skepticism in her voice.

Red started to respond, a mischievous look in her eye as she eyed the pink princess just behind her. Audrey raised up her hand in a manner similar to how Red had done with her just earlier.

"You know what? Don't answer that," Audrey swallowed.

Jane leaned forward a little, catching Red's attention. Red watched her for a moment, regarding her as she considered what she would say next.

"Y'know, you seem awfully calm throughout all of this," Red acknowledged, a note of curiosity in her voice.

"Oh, I'm used to it," Jane told her, smiling somewhat awkwardly.

"Do you ever get a chance to talk?" Chloe questioned, concern shining in her gaze as her hand gripped the leather seat just behind her. Red looked around Chloe, trying to see around her hair to actually take in the sight of Jane.

Jane nodded vigorously in response to the youngest of the group.

"I do! Just have to find a break in the middle of the arguing," Jane moved her head in some sort of shrugging motion.

Evie glanced in the rearview mirror at the fairy.

"Jane's been through a lot. But she's also pushed through a lot, too," Evie complimented, and Jane smiled bashfully.

"So how much time exactly until we get there?" Audrey questioned, trying to get more specifics on this entire thing.

"Twenty minutes," Evie answered her easily.

"Oh, boy..."

"What?" Evie questioned.

"Well... I kind of really have to go to the bathroom," Audrey declared.

Uma and Red both turned to look at her at the same time, but before Red could utter a word, Uma spoke.

"What? You gotta make a poo-poo?" Uma baby-talked.

"UMA!!!" Audrey practically screeched as she smacked Uma's knee.

Red made a face.

"Man, you beat me to it!" Red whined, and Uma smirked.

"Gotta get faster, young grasshopper," Uma shrugged, an abundance of self-satisfaction in her voice.

"You are absolutely awful!" Audrey scolded.

"I'm sorry, Audrey. There are no more stops in between here and the exit for the cruise ship," Evie expressed apologetically.

"Seriously?!" Audrey asked, and Evie looked at Audrey sympathetically through the rearview mirror.

"But don't worry. I'll keep your mind off of it."

Evie then proceeded to reach for the radio.

"Oh, no," Audrey complained instantly, and Mal groaned upon seeing that Evie was switching it to CD mode. Chloe, however, sweet summer child that she was, actually was excited.

"You have a playlist?!" Chloe excitedly asked her.

"My Country Music Awesome Mix: Volume Three," Evie grinned ridiculously widely.

Red mouthed the words, furrowing her brow and narrowing her eyes as she tried to figure out what in the actual heck that they were about to be exposed to.

"How long have you been waiting on a chance to do this?" Mal asked tiredly, and Evie's thousand-watt smile only grew brighter as she looked at her best friend in the whole world.

"The whole trip."

"I just know this is going to be awesome!" Chloe's smile was starting to rival that of Evie's and Evie puffed up with the praise, undeniably pleased. Red barely managed to avoid rolling her eyes.

Evie switched the radio over to the CD she had in the vehicle.

"I want you in the worst wayyy—"

Evie instantly changed the song as she practically lunged for the radio, horror on her face as she stared straight ahead while another song began.

Everyone in the car was looking at her at this point, staring at her, and Evie simply remained looking ahead as "Tennessee Whiskey" began to play. While no one seemed to know the song, they could see how Evie had reacted to it, and it made them wonder what exactly the song was and what it was about.

However, one person decided to speak up and expose the fact that she did indeed know it.

"Evie," Jane sounded utterly horrified, and then everyone except Evie looked at Jane.

Jane instantly turned bright red.

"Evie?" Mal spoke up, and Evie did not even glance in her direction.

There was a beat of silence, and Mal took in a breath to speak up again.

"What was that song?" Mal questioned.

"It was just a recent country hit," Evie answered her with very much feigned nonchalance, and Mal just watched her.

"Looked like a little more than just a recent country hit," Uma pointed out.

"Let's not talk about it right now, okay, Uma? Not with... People," Evie did not go any further than that in her explanation.

Red suddenly made a face of recognition. Chloe looked over at her curiously, her shoulder brushing against Red's as she eyed her.

"Ohhhh, I see what's going on here," Red pointed out, grinning far too much as she looked at Evie.

Evie's hands tightened just a little more on the steering wheel, and Mal glanced at Evie's knuckles before looking at her face.

"You're listening to dirty songs, and you don't want to talk about it in front of the kids," Red acknowledged, and Mal's smile grew wider and more wicked as she eyed her.

"E," Mal addressed her with a playful accusation affecting her voice as she spoke to her, barely containing her laughter.

Evie continued to refuse to look at her.

"I'm sure there's some other explanation," Chloe tried to defend her, and Evie just slowly reached over for the radio, turning the radio up louder so that she did not have to hear them all.

Mal just laughed wholeheartedly at Evie's refusal to answer, and Uma huffed, raising her eyebrows with a smirk.

"Look, if Evie's acting this weird about it and Jane knows the song... Trust me, it was probably dirty," Uma informed them, and Red leaned up a little to look at Jane curiously, surprised at the fact that Jane apparently had a twisted side.

"Wait... Jane's nasty?" Red was very much interested at this point, and she had that look that was nearly predatory in nature. It was as if she were waiting for her next kill, stalking her target so that she could pounce with her deathly claws of aggravation.

Jane's eyes went comically wide, and she shook her head, her body negating the question before her mouth was actually capable of giving a response.

"No!" Jane squeaked.

Uma simply remained quiet outside of a chuckle, but the look on her face said it all.

Red stared at her for a minute, her mouth open with far too much interest in her eyes. Chloe sighed softly, shaking her head.

However, Chloe's eyes lingered on Jane as well, curiosity gripping her despite her best efforts to resist it.

"Uh... Do tell," Red looked at Uma expectantly, and Uma raised her hands.

"Look, what happens in our group stays in our group," Uma declared simply. Red huffed.

"But we're here," Red gestured between her and Chloe. "So technically we qualify as part of the group now."

At this point, Chloe was somewhere between the tantalizing tidbit that Red had just found out about the most meek, mellow person in the group and Evie's situation with her supposedly dirty song.

Uma looked at Red with a raised eyebrow.

"Y'all are here now. You weren't before. So you don't automatically get filled in on all the tea that happened before y'all got here. Or Jane's Secret," Uma expressed, letting out a short laugh at her own joke, and Red groaned unhappily.

"Ugh. I thought you'd be on my side..."

"Sorry, girls before squirrels," Audrey scoffed, interrupting the conversation as she put in her two-cents-worth.

Red looked at her blankly with only a hint of something amused in her gaze.

"What?" Red questioned, narrowing her eyes at her.

Audrey turned a shade of pink, flustered as Red stared at her as if she were a complete idiot.

"Wh—Well, you're like a squirrel! Look, I have to go to the bathroom, okay?! I can hardly think of anything but peeing!" Audrey whined.

Uma leaned nearer to her, smirking as she eyed her.

"Just think of waterfalls, Princess," Uma told her, her voice full of sweetness as she wasted no time in trying to get under Audrey's skin as per usual.

Audrey responded with something, and it was at that moment that Chloe took an opportunity to get a drink from her water bottle, not even thinking about the circumstances with Audrey needing to pee.

And Red saw her perfect opportunity to get in her own barb.

Red grabbed Chloe's water bottle, and Chloe looked at her in shock as she brought up a hand to try to keep the water in her mouth despite Red snatching it from her lips while Chloe was literally in the middle of drinking it.

"Audrey," Red spoke up to get her attention.

Audrey looked at her, quickly jumping back as she found a plastic bottle shoved in her face. Red sloshed the water around in the bottle, and as Audrey focused in on it, she let out a cry, moving away from Red.

"You both are evil!!!" Audrey screeched, and Red looked at Uma as she laughed. Uma joined her in her mirth.

Chloe tried really hard not to laugh, taking the water bottle back from Red. Red smirked at her, looking at her with a raise of her eyebrow. Chloe was looking at her with that adorable expression that was essentially her trying to look disapproving and trying not to smile and laugh.

For her part, Audrey narrowed her eyes at Uma, sputtering as she tried to think of what to say in response to this violation.

"Uma, if you don't stop, I'm gonna—I'm gonna—"

"What you gonna do?"

Audrey stammered for a moment before seeming to get an especially good idea as her face lit up with an evil look.

"I'll pee on you!" Audrey declared, nodding her head resolutely as she made her assertion and pointed at Uma. Uma furrowed her eyebrows, wrinkling her nose as she looked at Audrey with disgust.

"Man, Princess, and you say I'm nasty," Uma commented, actually looking grossed out.

The CD then switched up to a different song, and Red wrinkled her nose at the sound of it.

"What is that trash?"

"That is not trash! That's Lainey Wilson!" Evie cried, utterly offended.

"Geez, sorry," Red apologized, all but saying that she thought Evie was being moody.

"She is the Hillbilly Hippie. The Wild Horse. The—"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it. You like her. All hail the Cowgirl Queen," Uma commented.

Evie let out a unhappy breath, and Uma was about to speak again.

However, Chloe quickly interrupted, hoping to disrupt the discord that was starting and save Evie from this.

"I dressed up as a cowgirl last Halloween," Chloe declared, throwing out the comment.

Red looked over at her with a raise of her eyebrow.

"That's random," Red commented as she shifted to get more comfortable against the window. She threw her leg over Chloe's, and Chloe huffed despite the warmth spreading through her chest and Red's affectionate gesture.

Audrey moved uncomfortably.

"Guys, I really have to pee!" Audrey made her situation known once more.

Uma shook her head, throwing an arm over the back armrest just behind Red's head. Red instantly looked back at her at the contact, shifting as she realized that Uma was trying to see Evie. Red shifted so that her back was against the window.

"Evie, you fixing to have to pull over, because if she takes a whiz back here on the luggage with me, I'm opening the back hatch and it's every woman for herself when stuff starts getting vacuum sucked out the back," Uma said right before making a sound that sounded like a sucking whoosh.

"Don't you mean every bag for herself?" Red insulted her coolly, and Uma just looked at her slowly.

"Yeah, well, we gonna see. You better be hanging on to Chloe and hoping that hair's like a parasail," Uma informed Red. Red rolled her eyes. She did not particularly love the comment about Chloe, but since it was Uma, she got more of a pass to say things like that without consequences in Red's world. Chloe mirrored Red's reaction.

"It's big enough to be," Mal commented, not really meaning anything bad by it and simply adding on to Uma's comment.

However, rather than letting this comment roll of her, Red instantly stared at Mal, something flashing through her eyes that was less than friendly and that bordered on the edge of dangerous as she clenched her teeth.

Chloe took Red's hand softly, threading their fingers together in a wordless reassurance. Red glanced at her for a moment. After a moment of them looking at one another without a word, Red offered one last look in Mal's direction before relaxing a little.

"How close are we now?" Audrey questioned, speaking up.

Evie shared a glance with Mal before very hesitantly responding to her.

"Umm...."

"Nevermind," Audrey grumbled, narrowing her eyes.

Red shrugged, smirking as she looked at Audrey from where she was leaning her back against the car door.

"Look, if worst comes to worst, you can just pee in Chloe's water bottle," Red shrugged.

Audrey's mouth fell open and just as she was about to make a sound, Chloe's hair went right in as Chloe swiftly turned her head to look at Red.

"Only after I'm finished with it," Chloe spoke up softly in something close to a whine, her eyes painfully soft and worried. Red laughed a little, shaking her head. She lightly yet affectionately kicked Chloe's calf, the kick really more of a soft push.

"If your lip goes out any further, somebody could ride it like a magic carpet," Red joked. Chloe's lip was only just barely poked out, but she could not resist aggravating her about it.

Chloe just narrowed her eyes at her, drawing her lips up so that there was no semblance of anything poking out.

"Chloe?" Audrey interrupted their exchange.

She turned her head at the sound of her name, and Audrey closed her eyes as Chloe's hair hit her face again.

Chloe looked at her with an apology in her gaze, Red watched them both, and Uma chuckled, a grin on her face as she looked at the pink princess.

"Yeah?" Chloe questioned.

"Have you ever considered tying your hair back or putting it in a braid?" Audrey asked kindly, but Red could hear the hint of something less than perfectly patient in her tone.

"Well, I mean... I do that when I'm working or practicing," Chloe told her with a shrug, offering her a brief onceover as she looked at her carefully. Red shook her head, putting on a smile as she took her opportunity to defend Chloe.

"Look, you'll get used to the way her hair product tastes after a little while," Red started, and Audrey sighed as she crossed her legs a little tighter.

But Red was not done yet.

"I mean, surely you're used to all kinds of hair product. Gotta have something pretty strong to touch up the gray," Red looked at Audrey with a false sense of something genuine.

Audrey gasped in utter offense, and Uma laughed despite the fact that she and Audrey were around the same age.

"You people are terrible!!!"

Following Audrey's outburst and Uma and Red's laughter, there was relative silence in the car for a few moments aside from Evie's honky tonk tunes.

Well, that is, until Audrey could not hold in her need to whine.

"UGH!!!! Seriously, guys, I have to pee so much," Audrey complained.

"How many times has she said she's had to pee now?" Chloe questioned as she looked at her best friend. Red shrugged.

"No more than ten at least," she commented.

"Look! I seriously can't even think in a straight line!!!" Audrey argued, and Uma huffed.

"Well, it's a good thing you ain't driving then," Uma commented, and Red laughed.

"Uma!!" Audrey cried.

Uma shook her head with a smirk, raising her hands as she tried to get everybody's attention.

"Alright, alright. Now, look, to help Audrey avoid thinking about her situation, I'm going to tell y'all this thing that I heard from a kid at the school," Uma told them, repositioning as she took in a breath to speak.

"You talk to other kids besides us?" Chloe questioned as she turned to look at Uma, innocence written in her features as she eyed her.

Uma narrowed her eyes, looking at her through a half-lidded stare as she remained silent for a moment and regarded Chloe.

Chloe made a face, slightly uncomfortable as Uma looked at her.

"Ha, ha. Yes, I do," Uma finally answered.

Red shook her head.

"Uma, I'm hurt. I thought what we had was exclusive," Red looked at Uma with a pout, barely managing to hold back the smirk that was threatening to break out across her face.

"Yeah, well, it's not me, it's you," Uma sarcastically replied.

Red shifted her leg a little where it was thrown over Chloe's, and she repositioned a little where she was leaned against the car door, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, if they're so great, then what did they say?"

"Alright, so—"

"This better not have anything to do with a waterfall," Audrey warned as she leaned forward, her legs crossed tightly still.

"Would I talk about waterfalls at a time like thissssss?" Uma drew out the s and Audrey sucked in a sharp breath. Uma just smirked, and she shook her head.

"Chill, Princess, it ain't a waterfall story. It does have rain in it, though," Uma pointed out.

Audrey just sighed pulling out her phone as she looked down at it, deciding not to argue about this anymore.

Uma cleared her throat.

"Now, as I was saying. I heard about this from the kid when she came back on the Monday before we got this week off, right?" Uma explained, and Red raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, she," Red emphasized, looking at Chloe with a huff and a nod like this was completely expected. Chloe just looked at her with a barely concealed smile.

Uma just ignored Red's words.

"So we got to talking, and apparently her dad was on his way to Tangletown the other day," Uma started.

Evie furrowed her brow, narrowing her eyes as she thought this through. Mal caught her expression and looked at her questioningly. Chloe watched the both of them uncertainly, not sure what Evie was thinking right now. Red was more invested in Uma's story than whatever that Evie and Mal were doing.

For her part, Uma just continued her story like nothing was happening in the front seats.

"It was raining like crazy, just making it where you can't hardly see two feet in front of you," Uma explained, throwing her hand up in a gesture to accentuate her words.

Evie raised her eyebrows before looking at Mal and mouthing something to her that Chloe could not discern.

"But anyway, he ended up getting to this stop on the road, and in the middle of the rain, he saw this hitchhiker on the side of the road," Uma explained, and Audrey slowly raised her head as she stared at Uma incredulously, her hand dropping a bit with the phone.

Uma did not even look at Audrey, but Evie nodded as she eyed Mal. Mal snorted, shaking her head as she looked out the window. A grin crossed Evie's face that she quickly tried her hardest to bite back. Jane's eyes widened and she started to move her mouth to say something, but quickly decided against it.

Chloe narrowed her eyes, trying to decipher what was so humorous about Uma's story. At Mal's snort, Red shifted her gaze sharply in her direction, and as she glanced between the members of the car, she started to realize something was going on.

"What's so dang funny?" Uma demanded, her arm on the seat behind Red's headrest that she was not currently using.

Mal shook her head, clearing her throat as she just barely smirked, looking down at her lap.

"Nothing. It just made me think of something," Mal answered her effortlessly, and Uma narrowed her eyes before continuing.

"So anyway, this dude was out in the rain, and he was just soaked. So her dad apparently felt sorry for the guy and decided to give him a ride," Uma explained, and Red shared a glance with Chloe briefly. Chloe shook her head just barely, wordlessly indicating that she had no clue what was going on with the other girls and their reactions.

"As soon as he opened his door and waved him in, the guy hopped in, y'know, like 'I'm eternally grateful' and all that, and he pulled in this leather duffel bag thing with him," Uma explained, and Audrey groaned tiredly and loudly, letting her head drop into her hands, her phone still held in one of them.

"So they were driving down the road, and the hitchhiker was just like really strangely quiet. And so ol' Dad over here is looking at this guy, not sure what to say, and he starts noticing some interesting stuff about this dude," Uma paused for dramatic effect.

Chloe furrowed her brow, not sure what to think about it all, but deciding to listen to the story anyway.

Uma remained quiet for a minute, and Red huffed through her nose.

"What? You gonna wait for us to ask you what was so interesting about him?"

"Well, that would be the obvious thing to happen next," Uma declared, looking at Red, and Red rolled her eyes, settling a little more fully in her current position as she clasped her hands together on her stomach and blinked her eyes sweetly.

"Alright, Dora the Explorer. What was so interesting about him?" Red asked the question condescendingly. Chloe smiled as she looked over at Red, interrupting Uma before she could answer.

"I loved that show," Chloe acknowledged.

Red raised her eyebrow, her false sweetness fading out as she directed the majority of her attention to Chloe.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Then how do you not know more Spanish than you do? It is a Spanish-teaching show, right?" Red asked, and Chloe nodded.

"Yeah, it is."

"My question is how are you making references to it and not knowing enough about it to say if it's a Spanish-speaking show or not?" Audrey acknowledged, raising her head up and letting her phone-holding hand lower a little in accentuation of her words.

"Look, we're all getting off-topic here. Now listen," Uma tried to bring the conversation back to what she was currently discussing.

"He had lanky legs and big hands on these bony arms. His eyes bugged out and he had this almost feral look to him," Uma explained.

"So they're cruising down the road and the girl's dad heard this unzipping sound. He looked over at the guy and that was when he saw that he was just like really slowly unzipping that leather bag," Uma said, unzipping one of Evie's bags that was nearby her as she accentuated her story-telling.

"So then the dad was like, 'Yo, man, what's in the bag?' And the guy just tells him, 'It's nunya business.' And so they just keep driving," Uma explained. Red raised an eyebrow.

"They keep driving?" Red asked.

"Yeah," Uma nodded.

"Even when this guy is probably packing?" Red questioned.

"Yeah," Uma agreed.

Red hummed shortly.

"Must not have been a VK's dad," Red acknowledged.

"It wasn't, but that's not relevant," Uma answered her simply.

"Sure it is. It helps me get my imagination working," Red informed her, and Chloe sighed softly.

Uma did not grace that with a response.

"Basically, here in a minute, this guy starts unzipping the bag again and the dad's like, 'Seriously, what's in your bag?' And the guy tells him again, 'It's nunya business.'"

Chloe furrowed her brow, not sure what to make of this story at this point.

"Why was he being so rude?"

"I don't know," Uma answered, taking in a breath to continue.

However, Chloe was not quite ready to let it go.

"I mean... The girl's dad was giving him a ride. Shouldn't he be nice?" Chloe inquired, and Uma nearly groaned, irritation starting to get the better of her as she strove to tell this story.

"Once again! Like I said a minute ago. Not relevant!" Uma said. Chloe blinked but did not say anything else at least for that moment.

"Alright, so by now, the dad was starting to get pretty dang mad about this whole thing," Uma continued as Evie's song changed to a different one on the CD. Red glanced in the direction of the radio, not impressed.

"Probably because the guy was not being nice," Chloe murmured, glancing at Red, and Uma narrowed her eyes at her briefly. Red just grinned at the bluenette, deciding to ignore the song.

"So when he heard the guy unzipping his bag a little more, he just puts on the brakes, pulls over, and demands that the guy get out of his car," Uma told them.

"Wow. Character development. He grew a spine suddenly," Red commented, nudging Chloe's calf with her foot that was not attached to the leg slung over Chloe's. Chloe smiled at her, chewing the inside of her cheek to try to keep the expression at bay.

"When he kicks him out, the guy's all mad and he jumps out of the car hollering and complaining and kicking up a fuss. And as soon as he shuts the door, the dad just takes off and leaves him there," Uma said as she moved her hand out in front of her.

"And they all lived happily ever after," Red finished.

Uma shook her head.

"Now not so fast. You didn't think this was the end of the story, did you?" Uma asked her, and Red shrugged.

"I mean... I was hoping," Red expressed.

Uma carried on as if Red had never said a word.

"So as the dad's driving down the road, he looks down and he realizes something really crazy. The guy left his leather bag in the car," Uma said, and Red raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, boy."

"What did he do then?" Chloe asked uncertainly, and Uma shook her head.

"He returned it to the proper authorities," Mal said almost as if she were quoting someone. Evie instantly snorted hard, and both Mal and her burst into laughter.

Chloe looked at Red questioningly, and Red just shrugged, mouthing "old people" with a roll of her eyes.

"No. He decided that after all that fuss, he was going to look in the bag and see what the dude was hiding," Uma declared.

"Oh," Chloe said shortly.

"So he reaches across and over into the passenger seat floorboard. Just ever. So. Slowly," Uma said, reaching across and over to one of Audrey's bags that was next to the pink princess as she accentuated her story. Red and Chloe both were watching her as they looked over the back of their seat.

Audrey grumpily slapped Uma's hand away in the midst of her reaching.

"And he opened it up to find," Uma paused for just a moment, meeting eyes with Audrey. Audrey sighed, but a slight smile crossed her face.

"Nunya business!!!" all of the other five yelled at the same time. Chloe jumped a little at the suddenness of it all, and Red only flinched slightly as she looked at all of the older people in the car.

Evie, Mal, Uma, and Jane all laughed, and Mal leaned her forehead over, pressing it to Evie's shoulder in the midst of her mirth. Evie brought up one hand from the wheel, putting it on Mal's head as she laughed with her.

Audrey just rolled her eyes, but her smirk was unmistakable despite her best attempts to remain sullen.

It was then that the joke fully set in on Chloe, and she started to laugh.

"Oh, my gosh, that was so bad. I am so remembering that. My dad would love it," Chloe shook her head.

Red watched her with a small smile playing across her face.

Uma reached over, lightly smacking Red's arm. Red glanced over at her, that small smile still on her face as she met Uma's gaze. Uma smirked widely.

"What'd you think, Raggedy Ann?" Uma asked her.

"I think it was fifteen valuable minutes of my life that I can't get back," Red finally mustered, bringing up her hand as she tried to hide the grin threatening to tug across wider across her face.

"Yeah, well, it might've been more like five minutes if y'all weren't the worst, most interrupting audience ever," Uma shrugged.

"Well, luckily for us, you guys successfully passed the time and now we're here," Evie told them.

Audrey instantly was paying attention, and Uma looked out the window, trying to get a good look at the ship that was waiting for them.

"Where's that dingy at?"

Uma spotted a ship, and she huffed as she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously? That thing ain't even half the size of the Lost Revenge," Uma declared, looking like she might laugh as she pointed at it.

"Uma?" Audrey spoke up, looking as if she were about to positively pop.

"What?" Uma asked her.

"That's the ship," Audrey informed her, gesturing to the actual cruise ship.

Uma's followed Audrey's movement and her smile faded away as her eyes widened and her jaw slackened.

The ship that Audrey had pointed to was towering over the car as Evie drove nearby and tried to find a suitable place to park her Jeep.

"Might want to fact check next time before you get into a ship-measuring contest, Uma," Audrey patted her shoulder condescendingly and offered her a tight-lipped smile.

Uma just huffed, raising an eyebrow as she looked up at the ship and found herself nearly speechless.

Well... It was most certainly no dingy.

Chapter Text

   "Come on, Princess," Uma grumbled, leaning against the sinks in the women's bathroom. Her head was lolled back, and she was just staring up at the ceiling as she questioned not her own but rather Audrey's life choices.

Seriously. Who in their right mind took this long in the bathroom?

At this point, though, she was considering questioning her own life choices as well. Because why in the world had she actually elected to stay in here and wait on her?

"I'm almost done!" Audrey called, just as she had been doing for the past while.

Uma groaned tiredly.

They had come inside the building, and everyone had stopped so that Audrey could use the bathroom. Uma had come in with Audrey for some reason beyond her understanding, figuring that, in one of her rare moments of compassion and softness, she would be a good best friend and wait in the bathroom with Audrey so that she was not alone.

She was certainly regretting that now, however. Everyone was outside waiting on them, and the most exciting times that Uma had had so far was watching people come in and out of the other stalls, Uma standing there like a sentry as she leaned against the stall nearest to the sinks.

Uma cleared her throat before speaking up.

"Y'know, you keep saying you ain't making a poo-poo—"

"UMA!!!"

Uma barely suppressed the instant chuckle that threatened to escape her at Audrey's reaction, instead choosing to continue talking as if nothing happened.

"And that's honestly the reason I've stayed this long without running for my life, but you really are starting to make me wonder if you're full of crap. Or well, not so full anymore," Uma laughed at herself heartily, enjoying her own joke as her head remained thrown back.

"Well, then that must just mean that my... stuff doesn't stink," Audrey answered her resolutely before coming out the bathroom stall. Uma raised an eyebrow, huffing a little as she brought a hand up to rub her face, moving her chin down so that she could actually look at the princess in just a moment.

"Uh-huh. For some reason, I highly doubt," Uma stopped as soon as she looked at Audrey.

Uma froze, staring at her as she took in the sight of the princess's completely changed outfit that was definitely not the one that Audrey had walked into the bathroom stall wearing.

Audrey ignored her as she came over to the mirror, not saying a word as she looked at herself in the mirror. Uma blinked, offering her a onceover.

After several long, silent moments of this, Audrey finally looked over at her, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

Uma did not say anything for a long moment, but she at long last took in a breath to speak.

"You mean to tell me.... That I just stood in this bathroom for an excess of fifteen minutes just because you wanted to switch clothes?" Uma slowly questioned.

"I also touched up my makeup," Audrey added on as if that were supposed to make it any better.

"Whatchu think you are? Barbie?" Uma questioned with a humorless huff.

"Exactly. I'm glad you caught it, because that was exactly the vibe I was going for with this look," Audrey answered effortlessly, flipping her hair in Uma's direction.

Uma instantly got a strong whiff of whatever perfume that Audrey was wearing. Uma made a show of coughing hard, and she held her chest like she was struggling for her life.

"Man, Barbie done been rolling in the scented candle section at the Hobby Lobby," Uma commented as she breathed in heavily through her mouth.

Audrey narrowed her eyes as she glared at Uma, stopping in her hair-fluffing as she turned to face Uma.

"I shop exclusively at Chanel, and you know it!" Audrey pointed at her.

Uma laughed a little, shaking her head as she remembered the time that Audrey had taken her shopping there.

"Boy, do I know it. Dragged me in that place kicking and screaming and I thought I done ended up in a strip club with all them stinking, perfume-covered ho—"

Evie chose that moment to come into the bathroom, the door opening.

"Uma, does Audrey need supplies? I didn't know, because you guys were in here for so long," Evie trailed off, stopping as she looked at Uma and Audrey.

The pirate gazed at Evie before glancing down lazily at the tampon that was stealthily clutched in Evie's hand. There was also a pair of pants and what Uma assumed was underwear underneath it.

Uma nearly rolled her eyes. Evie was always too sweet for her own good.

"Nah, don't worry. Barbie was just in there changing," Uma emphasized the words with a sickeningly sweet smile, sarcasm practically dripping from her tone.

Evie nodded but did not really pay attention to Uma as she remained more focused on the sight of Audrey's new outfit. Her smile spread and she came over closer as she touched the strap of the dress, examining it.

"That is gorgeous," Evie complimented, her soft brown eyes practically locked on the clothing.

"I know, right? It's from that new line of sundresses?" Audrey started, and Evie inhaled briefly yet sharply.

"The Chanel ones?" Evie asked, meeting eyes with Audrey briefly.

Audrey nodded, smiling excitedly.

"Yes!" Audrey answered her. Evie grinned just as widely as Audrey, apparently very interested, and Audrey cast a pointed glance in Uma's direction at the fact that Evie liked Chanel.

Uma simply scoffed.

Two peas in a pod, those two were.

Evie raised her eyebrows as she ran her fingers over the ruffles.

"It's so exquisitely made," Evie murmured, her fashion-designing mind doubtlessly going ninety miles an hour right now. Uma nearly groaned as she watched the exchange.

"You should look at the stitching,"

"Oh, I'm looking. And my jaw is dropping," Evie gushed as she examined the dress more fully.

Uma cleared her throat loudly. Audrey and Evie both stopped, looking at Uma.

The pirate offered them a tight-lipped smile.

"If we're all done with this episode of Barbie and the Skipper that fell all the way in the dye bottle," Uma paused and Audrey set her jaw with irritation. Evie just furrowed her brow, bringing her fingers up to lightly touch her own hair.

Uma gestured toward the door, and Audrey just fluffed her hair one last time.

"Let's go," Audrey grumbled before stomping past Uma with the angry strut that she always had when she was feeling especially indignant in her princessy way.

Evie followed along, brushing Uma's arm fondly as she passed. Uma brought up the rear of the trio, heading out after them as they went out into the hall.

"Good grief, how long does it take two fogies to go to the bathroom together? I mean, I get that when you get old it takes a while, but dang," Red commented.

Mal, while not appreciative of the fogie comment, nodded with her in agreeance as she raised an eyebrow.

Evie moved over to put away her supplies that she had so sweetly gotten out for Audrey, and Uma stopped behind her.

"A while when one of them thinks she's Barbie," Uma pointed out as she glanced at Audrey unappreciatively, still not letting that nickname go.

Audrey scoffed, starting to speak.

Red raised her eyebrows, interrupting Audrey before she even really got started.

"Barbie? More like one of those dollar store dolls," Red pointed out, huffing with a smirk.

Chloe murmured a scold, and Red shrugged.

Mal tried not to look even slightly amused at Red's comment, biting the inside of her cheek. By then, Evie had put everything back where it went, and she was back over with Mal, effortlessly linking her and Mal's arms as she watched the exchange with lightly pursed lips. Jane remained largely silent, her eyebrows raised as she took in the sight of Audrey's reddening face.

Audrey sputtered for just a moment before practically spitting her next words.

"I will have you know that I have more money in my purse right now than you could fit under your whole bed!!" Audrey screeched, pointing at Red accusingly, and Jane just made a face as the scream practically split her eardrum.

Uma threw out her hand quickly, covering Audrey's mouth. Audrey glared down at Uma's hand with something murderous in her gaze.

"Quiet down, would you?!" Uma hissed in a hushed tone, looking around to try to see if anyone paid any attention to them.

Mal and Evie were also immediately on the alert despite the fact that Evie's alarm was more subdued. Chloe glanced at them uncertainly, trying to figure out what they were doing. Red raised an eyebrow.

"Why don't you yell it a little louder, Princess? I'm pretty sure there's some folks over in Neverland that couldn't hear you," Uma grumbled to her, and Audrey ripped Uma's hand off of her face, taking in a deep dramatic breath.

"Are you trying to suffocate me?!" Audrey demanded in horror.

Chloe looked at Evie carefully.

"Why are we worried about people hearing?" Chloe asked innocently.

Evie turned her attention to her softly and patiently. There was a strange hint of something jaded and tired in her gaze, however.

"On the Isle, you don't announce things like how much you have. It's an invitation for thieves," Evie explained sweetly, and Red squinted just a little, listening to the words as she thought it through. Chloe nodded slowly, looking at Evie as if she had just unveiled some manner of deep, historic truth.

"So now we've got to watch Audrey's purse like a hawk," Mal added on.

Red smirked, reaching over toward the bag.

"I volunteer as tribute. All that money will be in perfectly safe hands with me," Red said, and Audrey jerked away her bag from the redhead.

"I'll watch my own purse, thank you very much," Audrey told her firmly, offering Red a distrustful glare.

Red raised her hand in a placating gesture before letting it fall back down beside her with a wicked smirk.

Mal let out a breath, nodding her head in the direction of the security checkpoint some distance ahead.

"C'mon, guys, let's go through security so we can get this show on the road," Mal told them.

Instantly, Chloe looked at Mal in surprise. Red glanced at Chloe, catching Chloe's look.

"Security?" Chloe asked, and Mal nodded.

"Yeah."

"Dang bomb-checking, weapon snatchers keeping you from taking your goodies with you. You'd think they were hauling valuable cargo on the ship or something," Uma grumbled, and Audrey glared at Uma with her mouth agape.

"They're hauling literal human beings," Audrey told Uma, utterly horrified at her as she grabbed the handles of two of her rolling suitcases. Jane grabbed the other one.

Uma shrugged, not gracing that with a response as they walked in the direction of the security checkpoint.

They got in line in the following order: Mal, Evie, Audrey, Uma, Jane, Red, and Chloe. Red eyed the situation around them, not sure how she felt about it all. It reminded her of the timeline before it shifted when her mother had driven her to Auradon Prep in what Chloe had titled the Fun Buggy and when the guards had scanned their luggage.

Chloe shifted nervously, and Red could feel Chloe's anxious energy. Of course, Chloe sometimes got like this. Anxiety was something that Chloe struggled with, after all.

Just as Red was about to reach her hand back for Chloe to mess with it as she always liked to do when she was anxious, Chloe came up so that they were standing side by side.

"Red, I need to tell you something," Chloe started, her voice quiet as she leaned closer to Red and touched her shoulder with her hand.

Red glanced at her briefly, leaning a little in response to her as their shoulders brushed in an offering of quiet comfort for the bluenette. She was largely keeping her attention centered on what was in front of them right now, trying to get an idea of what to expect so that maybe she could reassure Chloe about it.

"What?" Red asked.

Chloe swallowed, looking uncertainly at the metal detector approaching.

The bluenette took in a soft breath before letting it out.

"I brought Tiago with me," Chloe told her, her voice quiet.

Red instantly looked at her, their noses about six inches apart. She squinted just a little at her.

Despite Red's intense and unfounded hope that maybe Chloe was joking, Chloe's dark eyes were indeed dead serious as she eyed Red.

The older girl blinked, staring at her blankly as she took in this fact and all of the meanings as well as consequences that came with it.

Well... She guessed now she knew exactly why Chloe was anxious.

Tiago was Chloe's very much against-the-rules sword that, based on Uma's prior comment about weapons and bombs, was most certainly not supposed to be coming onto the cruise with them.

"What?" Red finally managed to answer more slowly and more carefully.

Chloe cleared her throat, looking at Red with nothing but seriousness in her gaze as she prepared to repeat herself.

"I brought Tiago—"

"No, I heard you," Red shook her head.

She glanced at security nervously as Mal officially started off the group on heading through the metal detector, Mal's suitcase going through next to her as she stepped through the detector. She knew that this was not going to go well when Chloe reached it.

"Why did you bring Tiago exactly?" Red asked her, her voice quiet as she eyed her.

"Because I need him," Chloe insisted, and Red huffed as she rolled her eyes.

"Chloe, you're the only person I've ever seen that has an emotional support sword," Red whispered as she tried to hide the fact that she was talking to Chloe by looking behind them.

Chloe shook her head as she looked at Red.

"He's in my luggage, and when they run it through the metal detector—"

"Yeah, I know. They're going to think you're smuggling in a weapon," Red met her gaze.

Chloe nodded, glancing in the direction of the guards up ahead.

"And I looked up the policy, and it said no weapons were allowed on the cruise," Chloe explained to her, and Red let out a deep and long sigh that was more like a groan.

"Why did you have to look it up?" Red nearly whined as she looked at Chloe tiredly, turning to face her more fully at this point. The bluenette officially used up the ability to say that she did not know the rule.

"Because I didn't want to break any rules," Chloe insisted.

The older girl looked at her as if she had sprouted two extra heads.

"Seriously? You look up the rules specifically to avoid breaking them and then you proceed to break one anyway? And a big one at that?" Red whispered furiously.

"Because it's a stupid rule!" Chloe argued softly.

Red scoffed, tilting her head back as she nodded. A smirk was threatening to cross her face as she realized exactly how ironic this was considering the fact that this situation usually played out directly oppositely of how it was working right now.

"Ah-ha!" Red declared.

Chloe seemed to realize the irony as well, and she let out tired breath, closing her eyes momentarily as she waited for Red's next words.

"It's funny, Chlo. I say that all the time. And you know what you always say?"

"Does it really matter what I say?" Chloe tried, and Red shook her head, far too pleased with herself for finally getting the upper hand on her normally so good and perfect best friend.

"You always say that rules are there for a reason," Red reminded her, pushing right through whether or not Chloe wanted to hear it.

Chloe just sighed before glancing nervously as she realized that security had already finished up scanning Mal and Evie. They were in the process of scanning Audrey, and Red and Chloe moved further up in the line.

And then it would be Uma, Jane, Red, and finally Chloe.

They had a little bit of time, but not much.

"They are!" Chloe tried to argue the point in a furious whisper.

Red shook her head, looking at Chloe with a raised eyebrow as her smirk finally showed itself.

"Yeah! Until you think they're stupid," Red pointed out.

Chloe sighed softly, looking at the redhead with desperation.

Red shook her head, lightly pushing Chloe with her shoulder as she turned to face ahead again. Chloe moved a little with the force, but she eyed Red softly despite the less than perfectly gentle nature of the affection.

After all, she knew that was just Red's way of giving affection. Red had a tendency to be rough instead of soft when Red herself was the initiator, and it was a way in which she kept herself from being too vulnerable.

So basically, Red's shoulder bump was like Chloe's interlacing their fingers or grabbing Red's arm to get her attention.

"Look, don't worry about it. Honestly, I'm proud of you for breaking a rule that you thought was stupid," Red expressed, her eyes mischievous yet soft. The tone in her voice dropped to something reassuring as her caramel gaze sparkled a little.

Chloe shook her head.

"I'm not sure if I should say thank you or not," Chloe admitted.

Red just shrugged, her shoulder pressing against Chloe's insistently as she remained close to her.

"You can thank me later. Right now, we've got to think of a way to get you out of this situation," Red started, eyeing Uma as she fussed about something with Audrey while Audrey was trying to talk to the security guard.

Red narrowed her eyes, getting an idea as she hummed quietly.

"Y'know, I'm not a fan of telling the teacher or whatever... But why don't we ask Uma to tell Mal and since Mal's the queen and all that, she could just tell security to let you take the sword in?" Red questioned as she looked at Chloe carefully.

"No, no, that's not a good idea," Chloe argued.

Red raised her eyebrows as she regarded Chloe incredulously.

"Okay, who are you? Because I think I left Chloe Charming back at school," Red pointed out. Chloe shook her head, taking Red's arm as she watched Audrey pass through security finally.

Audrey had to have a brief argument with the security guard about something that she was bringing with her luggage. It was something to do with fire hazards, but neither Red nor Chloe had been paying attention.

"Look, I don't want anybody to know I broke the rules! Especially Evie," Chloe told her, and Red sighed tiredly.

Uma looked back at them, trying to figure out what was going on, and Red just watched her before glancing back at Chloe.

"Alright. We'll think of something else," Red nodded finally as she thought through what to do now.

Further up the line, Uma furrowed her brow as she started to move through the metal detector. She could not shake the sight of Red and Chloe's faces from where they were both standing and talking behind Jane. Something was not right, and Uma was not quite sure what it was.

Strangely enough, Chloe looked guilty. Which made Uma automatically wonder what exactly that Red had done.

Because Chloe definitely had not done anything.

"You're clear," the security guard said, and Uma glanced only briefly in their direction before returning her gaze to the kids behind her, narrowing her eyes a little.

Jane looked at Uma with confusion, turning to look behind her at Red and Chloe. The two youngest girls of the group paused, looking at Jane for a moment. They both offered a tight-lipped smile, and Jane hesitantly turned back around to face Uma and Audrey.

Audrey was still waiting for Uma to actually come and accompany her, and Mal and Evie had already headed to check-in. Back when they had first gotten out of the car, Evie had decided that she would go ahead and take everyone's IDs and information so that she and Mal could get a head start on getting the paperwork and cabin keys taken care of for everyone.

And since the guards had already scanned their bags and tagged them, none of them had to worry about carrying their luggage because it would be dropped off at their cabin.

At this point, all they had to do was check in and get on.

"What are you looking at so much?" Audrey questioned, an irritated edge to her voice as she raised her head just a little to look at Uma.

It was nearly certainly left over from her argument with security about her ridiculous, nearly black-market quality hair dryer that she had insisted on bringing. Security had wanted to confiscate it, but Audrey had nearly gone unhinged in response, threatening to call the captain down here.

Uma, of course, had not been able to resist a comment about Audrey bringing out her Karen side.

Audrey had nearly exploded then.

Needless to say, Audrey had been permitted to bring in her hair dryer.

By now, Audrey was looking back down at her phone, but Uma nevertheless spoke up and answered her question.

"I'm looking at them kids. They're up to something," Uma told her as she approached her, stopping once she had sidled up to Audrey with her shoulder lightly bumping the pink princess's.

Audrey looked up from her phone, lowering her infamous sunglasses that she had had for several years now. The brunette looked only briefly in the direction of Red and Chloe with a raised eyebrow.

After only the smallest look at the two kids, Audrey just grumbled something and returned her attention back to Uma as their shoulders brushed. Uma shifted her posture a little, her arm sliding softly against Audrey's.

"Well, duh. It's Red. Red is always suspicious," Audrey answered her as if it were obvious, looking at her phone again as she texted.

Uma huffed, glancing down just long enough to see that the princess was texting Jay.

The pirate raised her eyebrows and she started her next words.

"Y'know, if you quit sending dirty texts to your boyfriend—"

Audrey gasped, glaring at Uma.

"And looked at them for more than five seconds," Uma continued as if Audrey had not reacted at all, "you probably would've seen that Chloe looked guilty."

Uma kept her voice low so that the security guard would not hear, and Audrey gave her an offended onceover. She exhaled sharply with irritation before stuffing her phone in her purse momentarily. She then looked over at the kids for a long moment as Jane moved through security.

Audrey's expression shifted just a little into thoughtfulness, but she then shook her head and looked at Uma with a roll of her eyes.

"Well, it's probably because Red did something. She's just like you," Audrey accusingly declared, placing her hands on her hips.

"Who's just like Uma?" Jane questioned curiously as she approached.

Uma ignored them, more focused on the fact that Red was about to come up to be scanned. Red put her suitcase on the conveyer belt, glancing back at Chloe as she said something to her briefly. Chloe actually looked nervous and nearly scared at this point as she looked briefly in the direction of the older girls.

And Red had a weirdly protective glint in her eyes as she went through the scan.

Which made Uma wonder if Red was the one that had done something or if it was really Chloe...

"You're clear," the security guard told Red, waving her past.

However, instead of moving along, Red stopped there in front of him, placing her hands on her luggage as she looked at him.

"Okay. So listen, I've actually got to talk to you about something kind of important," Red started.

He just eyed her with slightly narrowed eyes, and Uma just watched as she listened to the conversation.

"Princess Chloe Charming here," Red gestured to Chloe as she started to speak. "You know. The daughter of the Ella and the Charming?"

The man looked over at Chloe, and Chloe offered an awkward smile and a small wave, her attention focused primarily on Red throughout this entire thing. He did not look overly impressed, and he looked back at Red slowly as he tried to figure out where exactly she was going with this.

"What is she doing?" Audrey questioned quietly, and Uma shook her head, not responding as she remained eyeing the exchange.

"Okay, so basically, this is the thing. She can't put her luggage through the metal detector," Red explained, and Uma narrowed her eyes a little before glancing at Chloe and trying to decipher why that Red was arguing against it.

The man blinked as he stared at her.

"Why exactly?" the security guard questioned, his words slow as he pronounced them carefully.

Red sighed, folding her hands on top of her bag as she eyed him with a patience that was clearly put-on. The redhead looked back at the youngest of their group, shaking her head as she then returned her attention to the man.

"She's Metaldist," Red declared.

At this point, everyone was staring at Red like she had lost her mind. Even Chloe.

Uma was just trying to figure out why in the heck that Red was telling this insane lie.

"Metalist?" he tried.

"Metal-dist," Red pronounced it out for him.

"Her religion prohibits her from utilizing modern technologies like metal detectors. And cars," Red told him, dead serious as she never broke character and laughed.

He narrowed his eyes, looking between the two kids uncertainly.

"How did you guys get here?" he started finally.

"A car," Red stated simply.

Uma sighed tiredly.

The man huffed lightly and humorlessly before continuing.

"Then how did she get here if she's a metaldist?" he tried out the word carefully.

Red shook her head, regarding the man as if he were the one missing something in this picture.

"Oh, she can ride in cars. Her religion prohibits her from driving them. That's why her family nearly exclusively rides in horses and buggies," Red explained as if it were obvious.

Chloe was staring at her, and Red shook her head, not even sparing Chloe a look. Uma could see that Chloe was struggling with the insane lie.

"She's one step away from being Amish," Red explained as she gestured to her, and Chloe just glanced between the man and Red, trying to figure out if he was buying this.

"I tried to convert her, but she's failed at every machine she's tried to run. So she decided to keep being a Metaldist," Red continued, nodding as she tried to make her story more believable.

The man offered her a smile that was definitively condescending as he straightened.

"Well, lucky for her, she won't have to run the metal detector or the conveyor belt or anything else that's mechanical. So she's good to go through it," he told her simply, starting to turn in Chloe's direction.

Red shook her head, resting her elbow on her luggage and holding out her hand.

"Sir... I don't think you understand," Red informed him, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

Audrey's jaw nearly dropped as she stared.

"Did she just call that man 'sir?'" Audrey asked, completely shocked. Jane looked between Uma and Audrey before returning her attention to Red.

Uma raised her eyebrows, trying to gauge when the right time was for her to come and step into this situation and save Red and Chloe from Red herself.

"Well, if it wasn't clear before, we now know she's trying to schmooze him," the pirate declared with a shake of her head.

There was obviously something in Chloe's suitcase that Red was trying her hardest to keep from being scanned through the metal detector. Red was being too diligent and pushy about this.

Plus, she called the man "sir," and Red had never been one for respectful titles for people. Ever.

Uma knew that from first-hand experience.

"Her religion prevents the use of devices, yes, but she also can't run through invasive devices that are prone to cause destruction to her uterus. She's supposed to be producing heirs as soon as she marries her betrothed, Prince Trey Appleton, Junior," Red explained, dead seriousness in her gaze as she watched him.

Chloe stared at Red with her eyes nearly falling out of her head.

"Who's Prince Trey Appleton, Junior?" Jane questioned quietly, looking at Audrey since she figured that the pink princess would be the one to know.

"A figment of Red's demented imagination," Audrey deadpanned, her eyes half-lidded as she watched Red with disdain.

The man shook his head. By now, he seemed to be completely done with Red's antics. He nodded to one of the other men standing near the wall, cuing him to come over.

"Okay, I think we're done here. If you'll please pass by and take your luggage, we'll scan your friend here and if all checks out, you can both be on your way," he told her.

Red started to say something else, but the other guard approached her, and she looked up to meet his eyes from where he towered over her.

She glanced quickly between the man that she had been talking to and the giant that was standing before her. She then focused the majority of her attention on the guy in front of her, putting on a flirtatious grin.

"Heya, big boy. You're tall as a tree. Lucky for you, I like climbing," Red flirted, winking at him before shifting her gaze to Chloe. At this point, she was trying everything she could to keep Chloe from having to go through this.

Uma rolled her eyes before stepping over and grabbing Red's arm.

"That's enough, tree-climber," Uma informed her. She then proceeded to pull her over to where Audrey and Jane were currently standing.

Red looked back at Chloe, watching carefully and nearly refusing to take her eyes off of the situation.

Uma then proceeded to release her. Instantly, Red started to move back in Chloe's direction.

"Hey, hey, stop!" Uma scolded, grabbing Red's arm and yanking her as she forced her to turn back around and face Uma. Something fierce flashed through Red's gaze, and Uma looked at her carefully.

"Now 'fess up. What's in Chloe's bag?" Uma questioned.

Red eyed her for a moment. She glanced between the three of them before letting out a light breath and meeting Uma's gaze with a defiance that was quintessentially Red.

"Nunya business," Red answered effortlessly, clearly referencing Uma's joke that she had told before they arrived.

Audrey made some strangled noise that was between a grumble and a snort, and Jane made a face that was a desperate attempt to keep from outwardly finding this situation funny.

Uma just glared at Red, staring her straight in the eyes as she never cracked a smile.

Red offered a smile of her own to her, albeit nervous.

The pirate let out a long sigh.

"What's in her bag for real? And if you tell me 'nunya business' again, you're going to be hitchhiking all the way home," Uma informed her.

Red let out a deep sigh, but before she could speak, there was a sudden buzzing noise. Chloe froze instantly, looking over at the conveyer belt in barely disguised terror. Red spun around swiftly to look at her, and the tall security guard drew closer as the head of security opened Chloe's bag.

He pulled out the sword, examining it before looking at Chloe with surprise.

Chloe swallowed hard, offering a large smile.

"It's my emotional support sword?" Chloe tried uncertainly.

"Take this," the man told someone else nearby. The woman took it from him, and he then proceeded to move around the conveyer belt toward Chloe. Chloe's eyes went wide, and she stepped back a little involuntarily.

Red's jaw tensed, and she nearly bolted for Chloe right then.

"Come on," he told Chloe, grabbing her. As soon as he put his hands on her, Red felt something fierce and protective blooming in her chest.

"Wait, where are we going?!" Chloe managed to ask.

"Strip search," he stated simply.

Immediately, nearly all of the color drained out of Chloe's face.

"No, no, no, please, wait, hang on a minute, I think we need to talk about this!!!" Chloe tried to stop them, her voice desperate and nearly shaking as she tried to talk her way out of this.

Red was waiting no longer.

She nearly ran over in her direction, her eyes locked onto Chloe and no one else.

"You better stop right now!" Red called, her voice harsh as she prepared to take on anyone and everyone who tried to get in her way. No one would stop her from getting to Chloe.

The taller security guard extended his hand in warning, aiming to stop Red. Red started to try to move around him, and he lunged quickly as he grabbed her arm.

"Let go!" Red nearly growled as she swiftly shifted out of his grip. She continued for Chloe.

However, he then grabbed her more firmly, yanking her back so that she was in front of him. Red's eyes lit up with something angry and dangerous and just as she started to move as if she were going to try to hit him, Uma launched forward.

"Hey, woah, woah, woah!!!" Uma yelled, grabbing Red's wrist as she managed to stop her before she did anything she would regret later.

Red was all snarls at this point, and she was staring up at the man with venom in her eyes as she started to try to threaten him.

"You put your hands on her, and I'll—"

Chloe shook her head, trying to stop Red from this violence. The head of security was giving a look to the woman that had taken Chloe's sword, and Uma saw that she was about to pull out what appeared to be a taser.

"Red, please, I—"

Uma narrowed her eyes, deciding it was time to bring all of this to a halt.

"Alright, alright, stop!!!!" Uma's voice rang out, and everyone stilled, including the security guards.

They all looked at her, and Uma stood there, staring at the group of them as she stood to her full height. Granted, it was not much, but the sturdiness and confidence of her form was enough to make everyone pay attention.

Uma sounded and appeared every bit the Captain that she really was. Not the principal of Auradon Prep, but the Captain of the Guard that she used to be and the Captain of the Lost Revenge that she still currently was.

Like everyone else in the room, Red remained perfectly frozen as she watched Uma closely. She had never really seen this side of Uma before.

Uma released Red's wrist, and she stepped over to the side around the taller man so that she could meet eyes with the security captain.

The pirate took in a deep breath through her nose before speaking.

"Listen up," Uma started.

"We're with the Queen of Auradon. There's seven of us including the queen, and there are three princesses in our midst. One of which that you're about to strip naked," Uma told him as she gestured to the bluenette than the man currently had his hands on.

"Me and those two back there are personal friends of the Queen. So if you don't want to deal with something ugly, you better get your hands off of her right now," Uma warned them resolutely, never removing her gaze from the head of security.

He glanced between Uma and Chloe, and he let out an uncertain breath, releasing Chloe. Chloe remained standing there near him uncertainly, and she glanced at what she could see of Red where the taller guard had her held.

"Look, she had a sword. We can't just ignore that. We have a strict no-weapons policy," he explained, and Uma raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want me to call the queen back in here? Because we can do that," Uma said, staring him down.

He shook his head quickly, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

"Miss, that won't be necessary. Now, listen, we can let her pass, but I can't let her take this sword in," he told the pirate. Uma placed a hand on her hip, setting her jaw as she raised her eyebrow.

"The Princess of Cinderellasburg can't bring in a sword? Seriously?" she asked.

"Uma, it's okay. I'll just come get Tiago after the cruise," Chloe told her.

Uma waved a hand at her.

"Don't worry, you can go to the bathroom in a minute. You ain't gotta wait 'til after the cruise," Uma dismissed as she focused more on watching the kid with concern.

Chloe blinked, trying to figure out why in the world that Uma had said that. She ultimately assumed that Uma probably thought that the word "Tiago" had something to do with the bathroom.

Realizing that Uma was still waiting expectantly, Chloe shook her head.

"It's okay. Really," Chloe assured her.

Honestly, at this point, poor Chloe wanted to try to push past this. It had become far too big of a deal and to Chloe's chagrin, it had become an entire event that was almost assuredly going to be retold to Evie at some point.

And as much as she did not want to leave Tiago here, she definitely did not want this situation to grow any more significantly.

Uma eyed her for a moment more before nodding her head.

"Alright," Uma nodded, and she looked at the man pointedly.

He nodded to Chloe, and she wasted no time in hurrying over toward Red. Red yanked her arm out of the taller man's grasp, glaring up at him only briefly before turning her attention to the bluenette who was sidling up to her now.

Red wrapped her arms around her briefly yet tightly, and Uma watched the both of them with something between a soft smile at the sweet scene and an intense eyeroll at the fact that they were just like younger versions of Mal and Evie.

The redhead released her after a moment, and she cast one last dirty look toward the guards before placing a hand on Chloe's back and softly urging her back over toward Audrey and Jane.

Uma nodded resolutely, but she looked at the sword as the woman took it away. She narrowed her eyes, a strange feeling in her gut.

Something did not quite seem right about that situation, but Uma was not quite sure why. There was no viable reason for it, but instinct was warning her.

Uma let out a small hum before turning back to head over to the rest of the group.

"Let's catch up with Mal and Evie," Uma told them, nodding in the direction that the practically inseparable pair had gone.

The four shared a collective glance that was doubtlessly due to Uma's taking charge earlier with the guards. However, they followed Uma, nevertheless.

Uma could not help a swell of pride as they headed down the hall.

She still had it.

Chapter Text

   “You mean to tell me they got a pool on this thing?” Uma questioned incredulously, just staring at the water before them.

   The girls had officially finished the process of actually boarding the boat and taken care of the things that came before, and they had finally gotten to come onto the ship. The first objective that they had had was to see what their living quarters would look like, but they got the privilege of seeing the pool before they actually got there.

   Which was why Uma was positively short-circuiting right now.

   “Why wouldn’t they?” Audrey asked, looking at Uma in confusion.

   Uma stared at Audrey in disbelief.

   “It’s a ship! And in a couple of hours after it’s left the dock, we’re going to be literally surrounded by water!” Uma declared as she gestured all around herself. Audrey rolled her eyes heavily before turning to face the pirate.

   “Well, Uma. Not everyone can just jump in the water, turn into a giant octopus, and you know… Go for a little squid swim,” Audrey condescendingly made movements like she had fins and put on a ridiculously wide smile.

   Uma just eyed her with a raised eyebrow.

   “You sure you don’t need Evie’s emergency supplies? Because you starting to seem like you do," Uma acknowledged, all but telling Audrey that she was on her period.

   Audrey gasped before smacking Uma’s arm. Uma rolled her eyes, largely ignoring the hit as Audrey continued.

   However, as Uma spotted the kids diverged from the group, she proceeded to head over to see what was happening with them.

   “They’ve got croquet here?” Red asked from where she was leaning over the edge of the railing and looking down to a lower deck of the ship. Chloe brushed next to her, settling in close by as she looked with Red.

   “Oh, cool! I’ve never played before,” Chloe expressed, and Red shrugged.

   “I have,” she simply answered.

   Chloe instantly looked at her with a bright-eyed curiosity that, when in situations like this, made Red feel a secret spark of pride and joy at the fact that Chloe was that interested.

   “Really?! What was it like?” Chloe asked her. Red huffed before glancing over at Chloe with a raise of her eyebrow.

   “Well… Let’s just say it involved flamingoes,” Red answered simply.

   Chloe stared at the redhead with that surprised expression that she tended to have whenever Red dropped a random factoid about her home.

   “Wait. You played croquet?” Uma asked as she approached, sidling up to Red on her other side as she looked at the kid curiously.

   “Yeah,” Red nodded, straightening from where she had leaned against the railing.

   “Huh.”

   “Well, don’t look so surprised. I am a woman of culture,” Red informed her, placing a hand on her chest as she eyed Uma.

   Chloe huffed lightly, shaking her head and trying to hide the grin that spread across her face. Red glanced at her and was pleased with herself for having made the bluenette laugh.

   “Look, I just didn’t take you for someone who played something that boring,” Uma answered her.

   “Trust me. I was only in it for the possibility of whacking moles if they dared come up in the playing field,” Red admitted, and she caught Chloe’s look that was somewhere between feeling bad for the animals and debating whether she really regretted it that much.

   After all, Chloe hated mice. And moles weren’t far from mice.

   Uma shot a finger-gun in Red’s direction, winking knowingly as she grinned at her.

   “That’s more like you,” Uma laughed.

   “What? Do I have to be a menace all the time? I do have nuance,” Red argued, and Uma shook her head, skepticism evident.

   “Uh-huh. Nuance. Bringing out that princessy vocabulary, ain’t you?” Uma scoffed, and Chloe grinned with something that was mischievous in her gaze as she looked at Red and lightly bumped against her.

   “She got it from the dictionary I gave her,” Chloe smugly declared, and Red lightly hip-checked her in response. Chloe just laughed. Uma was close to laughing again, and she glanced between the two of them.

   “You gave her a—”

   “Uma! Would you come on?!” Audrey demanded as she effectively interrupted the two, grabbing Uma’s arm as she tugged her.

   As Uma turned around with Audrey pulling at her, she realized that the rest of the group was looking at them and obviously waiting on them.

   However, unable to resist the opportunity to tease Audrey, Uma looked down at Audrey’s hand before looking up at her best friend.

   “You getting awful handsy there, Princess,” Uma commented, and Audrey looked at her hand as well.

   Audrey just rolled her eyes as she released the pirate. Red and Chloe followed after her.

   “I think that’s the most affection I’ve received from you in months,” Uma feigned an emotional, trembling voice that was more like a gleeful wail. Red raised her eyebrows, and Audrey grumbled under her breath.

   “Shut up,” Audrey scoffed. She moved forward and linked her arm in Jane’s just to make a point as she glanced back at Uma.

   Uma smirked before running up and grabbing Audrey’s head in her arm as she slung her arm around her shoulders and neck. Instantly, it pulled Audrey’s hair, and she tried to dip down to avoid the grab. She released Jane in the process, and Jane moved back and away in an attempt to avoid being dragged into this mess.

   “UMA!!!”

   “Gotcha now!” Uma laughed, delighted with her own antics as they hurried down the hall. All of the girls were headed down toward a set of stairs that would take them toward the cabins.

   “YOU’RE HURTING MY HAIR!!!”

   “Technically it’s your scalp!”

   “LOOK, IF YOU DON’T LET ME GO—”

   “Joy, joy. They’re back in action,” Red muttered to Chloe, and Chloe huffed as she shook her head and walked close by Red, their shoulders bumping as they went.

   “C’mon, girls, we’ve got to go down the stairs, and if you two keep fighting then you might fall down them,” Evie called, pausing in front of the door with Mal as she looked back at Audrey and Uma while they approached.

   “If only,” Red grumbled, and Chloe shot her a look that was clearly a request for her to be quieter.

   Evie’s hand was holding Mal’s, and as Evie stopped, Mal was Mal followed the direction of Evie’s look as they both stopped, Mal having already stepped down on the first step.

   Uma and Audrey were paying absolutely no attention, and Jane was looking at Evie like she was sending out a call for help.

   Evie let out a brief breath, not impressed. She was about to try to speak again before Mal released Evie’s hand briefly. The bluenette looked at her with confusion, but as soon as she saw Mal’s hands going up to her mouth, Evie instantly braced for impact. She knew what Mal was about to do.

   Just as Uma started to deliver a noogie to the top of Audrey’s head and mess her perfect hair up completely, an earsplitting screech of a whistle sounded off through the air.

   Everyone except Evie jumped, and Uma and Audrey froze, Uma’s knuckles pressed into Audrey’s head as Audrey’s hands fisted in Uma’s shirt and were pulling at full strength as she tried to break loose.

   “Now that we have your attention,” Mal started before taking Evie’s hand once more. Evie squeezed it affectionately, looking at the rest of them with an elegant regard.

   Mal then moved her head in the direction of the stairs.

   “C’mon,” Mal said.

   Uma and Audrey shared a glance, but they proceeded to go first toward and down the stairs. Audrey shot Uma a dirty look and Uma smirked with a positively evil look on her face.

   However, despite all of that, it was impossible not to notice how Uma grabbed the back of Audrey’s dress around the shoulders to steady her when Audrey lost her footing a bit on the stairs.

   Jane came along right behind them, and Evie and Mal followed after her side-by-side.

   Red and Chloe then came, bringing up the rear of it.

   They headed down the stairs, and Audrey and Uma paused just long enough to look back at Evie questioningly. There were three different halls that they could go down at this point.

   Evie raised the hand that was holding Mal’s, and she pointed to the hall straight ahead.

   “It’s supposed to be the last door on the left if the signs are any indicator,” Evie told them, examining the emergency map that was posted on the wall in case of a fire or some other hazard.

   Uma and Audrey proceeded down the hall, but Uma looked at her questioningly as she bumped her shoulder into the pink princess’s.

   “How she even read them things?” Uma questioned, looking at Audrey. Audrey shrugged uncertainly, and Uma shook her head as they continued on.

   Before long, they reached the door, and Audrey reached into her purse as she withdrew the room key that she had.

   She slid it through the reader, and the door made a noise that indicated its unlocking. She then let out a breath before entering.

   However, as soon as she got in, she could not help but instantly be baffled at what she saw.

   Audrey stared, and it only took her all of two seconds to decide that this definitely was not the cruise ship experience that she thought she had signed up for.

  “Evie, did you guys reserve the right room?” Audrey questioned.

   Uma was right behind her, and she stepped in more fully, lightly tapping Audrey’s arm with the back of her hand as she indicated for her to move over. Audrey complied but remained looking around the room critically.

   Uma raised her eyebrows as she took in the sight of their accommodations, and Jane stopped just next to Uma as she took in the sight of it.

   “We should have. Why?” Evie questioned, filing into the room as she remained close at Mal’s heels when they entered.

   “Well, we’re about four beds short,” Uma announced, and Red and Chloe came in after Mal and Evie.

   “And there’s only one bathroom,” Audrey declared judgmentally.

   As everyone came in, Uma really took a long look at the place.

   It was not a terribly large room, and it had three beds in it. They were all queen-sized, and there was indeed only one bathroom connected to it. Honestly, Uma found that she felt that her cabin on the Lost Revenge was infinitely more luxurious than this, but she kept her opinion to herself.

   Uma knew Evie had likely chosen this exact set-up for a reason. It was probably due to some kind of sentimental crap or something to do with valuable experiences or some junk like that. While Uma was most certainly not a sap, she could in some deep part of her appreciate Evie.

   “Seriously? The literal Queen couldn’t afford to splurge a little?” Red complained aloud as she took it in.

   Chloe looked at her swiftly, scolding her softly. Red glanced at her only briefly, and Mal scoffed as she glared at Red.

   “Evie made the reservation,” Mal tried to offer in defense of herself, glancing at Evie briefly. Evie let out a sigh, starting to speak.

   “That’s still no excuse. She’s the only one here with a real job and Miss Fancy-Pants-Rich-McGee over here couldn’t afford it?” Red interrupted before Evie could utter a single word.

   Both Uma and Audrey looked at Red in offense for the comment about a real job, and Red just huffed as she looked at the two of them.

   “Like a real job that makes good money,” Red clarified as she gestured to them.

   Uma and Audrey shared a glance, unfortunately figuring that Red had a point about at least the part about how much the two of them were being paid for their job.

   “Trust me, I’ll have you know we’re definitely doing a real job, good pay or not,” Uma declared with a slight laugh, sharing a look with Audrey. Audrey nodded tiredly.

   “I pay you,” Mal argued, staring at Uma with something almost affronted in her gaze.

   “Not enough for what we have to put up with,” Audrey pointedly glared at Red.

   Red rolled her eyes.

   Chloe glanced between everyone, and, eager to try to make up for Red’s sarcasm and to try to dispel the tension in the room, straightened a little where she was standing next to her best friend, looking at Evie with nothing but fondness.

   “Evie, I think this room’s wonderful,” Chloe expressed, and Evie smiled sweetly at her.

   Red raised an eyebrow as she eyed Chloe. She then shifted her attention to Uma, and Uma met her gaze. As soon as they shared the glance, Red knew that they were both thinking the same thing.

   What a suck-up.

   “Thank you, Chloe,” Evie answered her kindly.

   “Evie, Evie, Evie,” Uma spoke slowly with her hands on her hips. She shook her head as she clicked her tongue and let her chin drop toward her chest.

   Evie eyed her kindly yet with a guarded expression, nevertheless.

   “Yes, Uma?” Evie cued her to speak.

   “In what world did you think that three beds was going to be okay?” Uma questioned at last, raising her head up to meet Evie’s eyes.

   “Why not? It encourages positive bonding amongst our group. And our trips always, at their core, hold the ultimate goal of us moving out of our comfort zones and bonding together,” Evie explained as if it were supposed to explain everything.

   “Yeah, while you and ol’ Dragon Breath get all snuggled up and the rest of us are left to just figure it out between the last two beds available,” Uma waved a hand at her as she approached her suitcase, bending over a little to open it where she had put it on the bed.

   However, Uma was not terribly bothered by the entire thing. She had sleepovers with Audrey before, and she actually did enjoy them a lot more than she would ever let on. They always ended up in the same bed, Audrey in a normal position on the bed and Uma somehow flopped across her sideways in both a mix of trying to be irritating and a secret effort to be affectionate.

   Despite not being bothered, Uma still had to give Evie a hard time about it.

   “We can trade beds and switch up who we sleep next to at night,” Evie said, something challenging in her tone as she addressed Uma.

   Mal instantly looked at Evie, not sure that she liked the idea of this. Mal, after all, was rather fond of her Evie cuddles.

   Red glanced at Chloe, clenching her teeth in spite of herself. While Red did not want to openly face the softer reasons behind it out loud with everyone else, she knew that she wanted to be near Chloe at all times.

   “You’re agreeing to be separated from Mal?” Uma questioned.

   Evie paused, staring at Uma as she watched her for a long moment. The taller girl was obviously debating what she was going to say next and how far she was getting herself in this hole.

   The bluenette let out a breath before smiling at Uma kindly.

   “Well, there’s enough room for three in one bed. Any one of you is free to join us at any time,” Evie finally settled for saying at long last.

   Uma scoffed, smirking as she shook her head.

   “I knew you couldn’t do it,” Uma simply stated.

   Evie let out a breath, starting to argue with her in that manner that was so quintessentially Evie.

   Red did not really make an effort to involve herself in their conversation. She instead simply remained quiet, watching Chloe closely as Chloe sat her bag on the bed nearest to the bathroom. Chloe started to open up her suitcase to withdraw some better clothing for their time on the cruise.

   Red, not wanting to be presumptuous, did not make a move toward the bed. While she and Chloe slept in one bed nearly every night now, Red did not want to just assume.

   However, as Red stood there unmoving and watching blankly, Chloe looked over at Red curiously, furrowing her brow as she eyed the redhead.

   “What are you doing?” Chloe questioned, seeming confused.

   Red blinked, trying everything she could to focus on definitively not looking desperate.

   “Just… standing,” Red somewhat lamely answered, shifting her weight as she stood next to her suitcase.

   Chloe’s gaze then turned to something so utterly knowing and understanding that Red nearly felt stripped bare as a direct result. Chloe looked pointedly to the other side of the bed.

   “Come here. You need to decide which side of the bed you want,” Chloe told her before looking back down at her things.

   It was a clear invitation, and it spoke so clearly to Red that she felt her heart soaring at Chloe’s ability to so intrinsically understand the redhead.

   Red grabbed her suitcase before coming over to stand across from Chloe on the other side of the bed. She could feel the warmth of the bluenette’s gaze as she glanced at Red briefly before looking down at her things and withdrawing a tank top and a pair of shorts. Red tried not to smile as she opened her suitcase and started picking out her clothes.

   Evie and Mal stood next to each other, resting their suitcases on the left side of the bed that was closest to the door that they had just come through earlier.

   Uma sat her suitcase down on the same bed as Mal and Evie had but on the bottom right hand corner of the mattress. Audrey and Jane followed suit and rested their suitcases opposite to Mal and Evie.

   So far, Audrey was the only one that was dressed in her official cruise clothes and it was because of what Uma was now calling her “Barbie and the Dream House Moment.” Everyone else had resolved to change into their sundresses, shorts, or tank tops when they got into the room.

   So everyone except Audrey was planning to change clothes.

   The three VKs of the older group were currently starting to filter through their luggage, looking through their bags thoroughly.

   At the lull in conversation, Jane looked at the group, seeing her opportunity to speak.

   “So what are we doing first?” Jane finally inquired, and Evie looked up at her, a warmth and thoughtfulness emanating from her soft eyes.

   “Well, I was thinking that we could start by just exploring the ship,” Evie suggested, glancing at the rest of the group in an attempt to try to figure out what they thought of the idea. The largest reactions she got were from Chloe and Jane with Chloe turning to look at Evie with a smile and a nod and Jane instantaneously looking interested in Evie’s suggestion.

   “Do they offer tours?” Mal asked by the time that Evie returned to searching her bag, looking at Evie briefly as both Evie and Mal checked their luggage. Uma was doing the same thing, and Audrey was looking at them weirdly and uncertainly as she tried to figure out what exactly they were doing.

   All three of them almost appeared as if they were looking for something. Audrey looked at Jane, sharing a glance.

   “What are you guys doing?” Audrey finally asked.

   Mal, Evie, and Uma looked up at the pink princess. As they realized that they were the only three that had been digging through their luggage like they had been told that there was three thousand dollars hidden under their unmentionables, Evie offered Audrey a half-sheepish smile, glancing only briefly at Mal and Uma before responding to her.

   “Making sure that they didn’t steal any of our stuff,” Evie admitted.

   “We’re going on a luxury cruise. Not getting on a pirate ship. They’re not going to steal anything from you,” Audrey told them as if it were utterly obvious.

   Of course, to Audrey, it was obvious. Audrey had not grown up in the same place that Evie, Mal, and Uma had. The three of them had faced difficulty and hardships that the other girls had no understanding of.

   “You don’t know that. They stole Chloe’s sword before we even got on the boat,” Uma pointed out.

   Chloe paused in the midst of her clothes-collecting. Red looked up at her briefly.

   “I miss Tiago,” Chloe commented, and Red’s eyes softened.

   However, before she could even try to say anything reassuring, Uma spoke up, looking over at the youngest bluenette.

   “The bathroom’s right in there,” Uma nodded to the restroom pointedly, obviously still thinking that the word “Tiago” had something to do with going to the bathroom.

   Red squinted as she shared a look with Chloe. Chloe sighed tiredly, shaking her head.

   Uma shifted her weight to the other foot as she pulled out some socks.

   “Not only that, but they ‘bout stole your hair dryer. They would have, too, but you went full-on Karen on them,” Uma laughed at her own joke as she pointed at Audrey with the pair of rolled-up socks.

   Audrey wrinkled her nose, stepping back as she tried to put more distance between herself and the things that had been on Uma’s feet at some point. Audrey’s hands raised just enough to be even with her waist, and she curled her fingers inward with disgust.

   “First of all, keep those things away from me. You are officially banned from getting your feet near me or any feet-adjacent items,” Audrey announced, and Uma shrugged nonchalantly.

   “Second of all, they were not trying to steal it. They thought it would start a fire of which— and if any of you repeat this, I will cut out your tongues in the middle of the night,” Audrey warned, pointing at everyone as she rotated at the waist while Uma, Mal, and Red collectively raised their eyebrows in surprise. “They probably had a valid point about.”

   Chloe glanced only briefly at Red, and Red could not help but wonder what the bluenette was thinking despite the fact that she did not utter a single word.

   “You know, you totally let that Karen thing slide,” Uma pointed out.

   Audrey blinked, narrowing her eyes as she set her jaw a little.

   “I was choosing to be the bigger person and ignore it,” Audrey answered sternly.

   “Yeah, while you’re threatening us like a full-on VK,” the pirate stated with a huff.

   Mal and Uma shared a glance, and Mal tried not to laugh as she looked over at Audrey.

   Mal could see Audrey looking at her with something in her gaze that was daring Mal to actually laugh and betray her in this exchange. Mal, having a slight soft spot for Audrey after all that the both of them had gone through, felt compelled to offer at least a slight defense for the pink princess.

   Mal straightened a bit, shaking her head as she eyed Uma.

   “Now, now, let’s cut Thorn some slack,” Mal tried to help her out a little.

   Audrey’s eyes softened into something grateful, and Uma scoffed, staring at Mal as if she had lost her mind.

   “Since when do you defend Princess?” Uma asked. Mal stared at her, unimpressed. Evie then proceeded to speak up to help her out.

   “Well, I, for one, think that M is really getting into the spirit of bonding. And it’s beautiful,” Evie expressed, looking at Mal affectionately and with a definitive expression of pride in her gaze. Mal looked back at Evie with a fond exasperation at Evie’s comment. However, there was undeniable happiness in Mal’s eyes at the fact that Evie was pleased with her.

   Uma offered a far too sweet smile in response to Evie’s words.

   “Yep. Just the thought of all that bed-sharing’s bringing out the best in people,” Uma sarcastically declared, holding her clothes as she leaned a little in Evie’s direction.

   Evie just let out a breath and bit down gently on the inside of one of her cheeks, eyeing Uma calmly in a manner that was nearly maternal in its patience.

   “Then you’re going to love what I have planned for us next.”

   “What? We’re going to braid each other’s hair and do makeovers?” Uma asked as she leaned toward Evie a little, her voice the perfect reflection of condescendence.

   Evie narrowed her eyes just a little as she offered a smile that was nearly terrifying with just how sweet and calm that it was. Evie’s eyes were sparkling with something positively wicked.

   “I was thinking that we could split up into random groups and spend some time together,” Evie declared.

   Uma stared at her as if she had lost her mind. Evie just smiled a little more widely, her eyes half-lidded as she looked at Uma.

   “Aw, heck, no!!! You mean it wasn’t good enough for you to shove us all into three beds and now we’ve got to do some stupid bonding exercise in the daytime, too?!” Uma complained.

   Red glanced in the direction of the older girls and tried not to think about the very real possibility of being separated from Chloe. Chloe looked back at them with some interest.

   “I, for one, think it’s not a bad idea,” Audrey declared, looking at Evie with something no-nonsense in her gaze.

   Uma scoffed, looking at Audrey with a raised eyebrow as she offered her a critical onceover.

   “Of course you don’t. You just want to get away from me,” Uma pointed out. Audrey narrowed her eyes at Uma.

   “Well, y’know… Maybe I wouldn’t feel that way if, I don’t know… You weren’t the most infuriating human I’ve ever met,” Audrey declared, and Uma scoffed.

   “You mean the most entertaining. If you didn’t have me in your life, where would you be?”

   “Probably happy and finding inner peace,” Audrey groused, and she looked at her phone as she allowed herself to get distracted by it a little. Uma eyed her, unimpressed.

   “Look, we all know that you are way too angry to be finding anything close to an inner peace,” Uma shook her head, not at all falling for that. Audrey instantly looked away from her phone, glaring at Uma.

   “I am not angry!!!” Audrey argued as her voice raised just a little with the declaration.

   “Then why do you yell so dang much?” Uma questioned, laughing a little and raising an eyebrow at the pink princess.

   Audrey looked like she was five seconds away from exploding, and Evie raised a hand to try to bring a little calmness to the situation.

  “Listen, regardless of Audrey’s questionable relationship with her inner peace—”

   “EVIE?!!!” Audrey cried.

   “See?! Yelling!” Uma declared.

   Red made a face at Chloe, and Chloe smiled at her. There was a look on her face that ultimately indicated that she was trying to just laugh all of this off at this point.

   Red leaned forward a little, placing her hands on the bed as she made eye contact with Chloe.

   “Y’know, the boat’s still docked. We have a chance to escape if we run now,” Red declared.

   Chloe rolled her eyes affectionately.

   “It’s not that bad.”

   “Seriously, Chlo. We can get in Evie’s car. I’ll drive,” Red told her, dead seriousness in her voice. She honestly was only about half-serious, but she was tempted.

   “What would they drive back?” Chloe questioned, a grin starting to come onto her face as she looked at the older girl. Red shrugged.

   “You keep telling me that Mal turns into a dragon. They can ride her home,” Red answered as she gestured briefly in the direction of the others.

   Chloe just laughed at her, and Red smirked a little, glancing in the direction of the older ones to see what was going on.

   It seemed that they must have at least mostly resolved their differences, and Audrey waved her hand at Audrey dismissively.

   “Just shut up and go change your clothes,” Audrey told the pirate tiredly.

   Uma rolled her eyes but nevertheless complied, apparently having had her fun.

   However, she could not resist one last comment.

   “Y’know, we all going to be really bonding when we get in the full swing of things with only one toilet in here. I hope y’all are good and ready,” Uma declared with a wicked laugh as she headed for the bathroom.

   Audrey stared at Uma as she went, no small amount of horror in her eyes as it dawned upon her exactly what Uma was implying.

   Red raised an eyebrow as she watched Uma walk by her to get to the bathroom, her hands still on the bed as she leaned on it.

   Uma shut the door resolutely behind her.

   Red then looked at Chloe as she let out a deep groan.

   “And you just had to pick the bed closest to the bathroom.”