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Chapter Text

“Brother is coming!”

Shen Jiu’s lips twitched, the barest hint of a smile gracing her face, at Yue Yuan’s enthusiasm. 

Shen Jiu and Yue Yuan sat in a private room of a teahouse, watching Yue Qingyuan pass by in his bright red official attire, attracting a swarm of admirers.

Yue Yuan excitedly tugged Shen Jiu to the window to look at the procession. Yue Qingyuan was riding at the head of the procession below. The parade was held in his honour of course, for topping the imperial exams. 

He was not only the nation’s youngest top scorer, but also favoured as first in line for the position of crown prince thanks to it, despite being the seventh son of the current emperor.  

Yue Yuan looked at all the ladies throwing their handkerchiefs and sachets at him and winked at Shen Jiu.

“Jiu-jie, you should throw one too!”

Shen Jiu looked at him passing below their window. He didn't spare her a glance. Gripping her sachet tightly, she eventually shook her head gently, "Let's go back home. Today, Qi-ge is bound to drink, so let's go make some hangover soup."

Of course the palace had many people who could make it for the prince, but it was a habit for her to take care of him herself. She was his fiancee after all, and a childhood friend even before that. And besides... she loved him. Why let others take care of the man she loved when she was perfectly capable of doing it herself? It was also her way of thanking him for being by her side since they were children. 

When Shen Jiu was very young, she found herself wandering the streets. The nation of Cang Qiong had been prosperous and stable for a long time, but the old emperor was dying and his sons were all vying for the throne, creating waves of instability and unrest. Many people got caught up in the crossfire and many more took advantage of the chaos to rob and kidnap and murder. 

There were many casualties as a result of it. Families had to flee the capital in order to avoid getting caught up in the crossfire.

Shen Jiu’s family included. 

Actually, she had no idea if any of them were alive, but, even if they were, Shen Jiu would have no idea how to get to them. 

Unfortunately, a 3 year old Shen Jiu had been kidnapped when the fighting between different factions broke out and took a knock to the head after struggling with the kidnappers, which left her with her memories muddled. 

Her earliest memory after the injury was waking up to a young boy, not too much older than her, tending to the wounds she had gained while struggling to escape the kidnappers. 

He had seen the kidnappers trying to negotiate with the owner of the Warm Red Pavilion for a good price. She was a little beauty, even at 3, and would surely grow up to be a lovely flower, so they intended to sell her. The boy took a chance while they were distracted (too busy harassing the courtesans to pay attention to the unconscious child) and stole her away. 

They were gone before the kidnappers noticed that they were missing the object of their fortunes. 

The boy was called Yue Qi. 

He was instructed to hide in the brothel by his mother who said she would come back for him. She entrusted him to the madam for his safety, as they had also had to flee their homes. But he waited and waited and his mother didn’t come back. He knew the money she had given the owner to hide him would not last much longer either. He would have been kicked out sooner or later (or worse.. put to work in the brothel). So why not save this pretty meimei and escape together? 

He’d had a few coins saved and his clothes weren’t bad quality so at least they wouldn’t be mistaken as runaways at first glance at least. But Shen Jiu and Yue Qi were only children. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs after his coin ran out. They lived a harsh life on the streets, having to beg and steal to survive and having to avoid slavers and other such no good characters who would make their lives even more miserable.

But though it was a harsh life, they had each other. Shen Jiu was quick with her hands and quicker with her (faux) tears. A sweet, soft little girl with big watery eyes engendered more pity and it would earn them more coins. She would be the one earning their basic necessities in that way while Yue Qi provided protection. Shen Jiu had her own streak of resilience of course, and could hold her own against other street kids, but it could not be denied that Yue Qi was simply bigger and stronger than her.

Eventually the fighting was over and the throne had been won by the Prince of Qiong Ding. He was crowned Emperor of Cang Qiong and set about cleaning up the court and the country. 

Just in time too. 

Shen Jiu and Yue Qi had thought they finally ran out of luck, as they had been captured by slavers. It was fortunate timing that before the slavers were able to brand their new captives, the new emperor had his troops round them all up and executed them for their crimes.

The children who had been captured were either returned to their families or sent to an orphanage. 

Which meant of course that the emperor had people investigate their identities. 

How could he have known that one of his own sons had been amongst those captured? The emperor was enraged and immediately outlawed slavery, which had been frowned upon in the past dynasty but hadn’t actually been entirely illegal (kidnapping children to sell was illegal, parents selling an extra child they couldn’t feed was not). 

As it turned out, Yue Qi was not abandoned by his mother. The new emperor, then the prince of Qiong Ding, had sent his youngest children away from a young age to be raised outside his residence, in a bid to protect them from his scheming brothers. Yue Qi never knew he was a prince’s son. 

And he wasn’t actually abandoned at the brothel either. His mother had unfortunately gotten caught by an opposing faction and was kidnapped before she could get back to him. She only left him because his younger sister, Yue Yuan, was being raised separately from him and she went to go find her. She would spend time with both her children, who were raised in different locations. 

Yue Qi, who thought his mother was a common woman who had to go out to work to provide for the family since his father was gone, never suspected that instead of working, she was actually spending time with her last child. He never knew he had siblings, or that his mother was the princess consort of Qiong Ding (who was allegedly sickly after the birth of her first child, and had to recuperate outside of the capital which is why she was never seen in public and couldn’t attend social gatherings). 

Yue Qi also had older half-siblings that he also didn’t know about, but they were already known to the court and his father could not hide them so easily. Only Yue Qi and his little sister, Yue Yuan, were unknown because at the time of Yue Qi’s birth, things had already started stirring at court and his father made preparations to hide him, so if things went south in the future at least one of his children should survive. His eldest child with the princess consort would have to stay by his side, but the two younger ones (they hadn’t planned for Yue Yuan’s existence but she made herself known to her parents not too long after Yue Qi’s birth anyway) would be safely tucked away in two different locations. 

It was only after the fighting broke out that the princess consort of Qiong Ding tried to flee with her children and got kidnapped on her way to collect Yuan-er. Her husband managed to rescue her but when they went to look for Yue Qi, he was gone. He couldn’t have known that after his mother’s kidnapping and subsequent rescue, how frantically his parents had been looking for him, fearing the worst, that he was dead, when they couldn’t find him.

It was most unexpected for them to find him with this band of slavers, but they were overjoyed and brought him back to the palace.

Shen Jiu thought then that Yue Qi would abandon her now that he was a member of the royal family. What would he need with a little beggar girl who couldn’t even remember her own family? 

But he didn’t. Yue Qi begged his now imperial father to bring Shen Jiu to the palace with them. Without Shen Jiu, he said, he would have never survived the streets. He owed Shen Jiu his life. He didn’t mention how he also saved Shen Jiu in the beginning. Yue Qi was kind after all. He didn’t want his dearest friend to end up in an orphanage.

The emperor wasn’t unreasonable. He understood that his son had to have been living a difficult life after being separated from his mother, and he was grateful that his son had someone to accompany him through the hardships. He granted her leave to stay in the palace as the prince’s childhood companion, though because she was a girl they pretended he merely brought her in as a companion for his own daughter, Yue Yuan. She would receive an education and the emperor would bestow her with a good marriage when she was of age.

It was at the banquet to celebrate the return of the emperor’s son that they found out just how serendipitous life could be. One of the invited guests, the new Lord of Qing Jing, recognised Shen Jiu as his own lost daughter. The Lord of Qing Jing had, in a remarkable coincidence, previously saved the life of the emperor himself. The former prince of Qiong Ding considered the Qing Jing Lord to be his life-saving benefactor and when he ascended the throne, he granted him the title of advisor to the emperor (though he was one of eleven advisors, it was still a lucrative position). 

The Qing Jing lord’s wife (Shen Jiu’s mother) was also a childhood friend of the Empress. It was just that because the empress, the former princess consort of Qiong Ding, had gone into ‘hiding’ when having Yue Qi, and then the years of instability in the capital followed, that they hadn’t had contact in years. They were both very happy to be reunited and to see that their children had both found each other and had kept each other company during their harsh time on the streets, becoming childhood friends like their mothers were. 

Shen Jiu was being raised in the palace before they found her and since the emperor didn’t want to deprive Yue Qi and Yue Yuan of their friend, or the Empress of hers, they had been granted a residence close to the palace and visited frequently.

Shen Jiu and Yue Yuan had many lessons together too. Since she was discovered to be an important lord’s daughter she was now qualified to be a proper peer of the imperial children rather than a simple companion, and received her education alongside the imperial daughter. For a while they all lived happily together. Yue Qi and Shen Jiu were almost glued to the hip and their mothers joked that they would make a cute couple.

Thus, the engagement between Yue Qi and Shen Jiu began, though it was originally a playful agreement made by their parents in their childhood, and no one really took it seriously. They were still young after all. 

Chapter Text

When Shen Jiu was ten, her father, the Qing Jing Lord, angered the Emperor. Truth be told they were good friends but the Emperor had gained a bit of a short temper. Paired with the Qing Jing Lord’s inability to sugar coat anything and willingness to call out even the Emperor, well… one bluntly spoken rebuke too many and the emperor had him sent away from the capital, to live in Bailu county for a while as punishment. 

Bailu Forest was on part of the border of Cang Qiong, and separated them from the nation of Huan Hua. It was full of miasma and Shen Jiu’s parents couldn’t bear to take her to suffer with them. Shen Jiu’s mother lamented this to the Empress when she came to say goodbye. 

Due to Shen Jiu being good friends with Yue Qi and Yue Yuan, and Shen Jiu’s mother being her friend, the Empress asked the Emperor to allow Shen Jiu to stay in the palace to continue accompanying the children. 

Shen Jiu was already growing up and it would be unbecoming of a young lady to live in the palace just like that, so the Emperor, considering that the Qing Jing lord had saved his life, decided that it was a good idea to betroth Yue Qi to Shen Jiu instead. They had a good relationship so why not make it official? If the Qing Jing Lord wanted his daughter to remain in the capital this was the only way the Emperor would allow it. Of course there was also Yue Wuhuan, Yue Qi’s older brother, or any of the other single sons of the Emperor through his consorts as alternative candidates, but Yue Qi was obviously the best option for Shen Jiu. 

The Qing Jing lord, thinking of how happy his daughter was when with Yue Qi, who had always treated her gently, agreed.

Neither of them bothered to consult the children of course.

Thus Yue Qi and Shen Jiu’s engagement contract was created and Shen Jiu moved back into the palace when her parents left for Bailu.

So it was that the engagement was announced to the imperial family and Shen Jiu was to stay and accompany her betrothed (with Yue Yuan as chaperone most of the time) until they were married.

The imperial family treated her well. The Emperor and Empress liked Shen Jiu. She was quick witted and hard working. She even asked to study medicine because Yue Qi would often come back from his martial training with injuries (and she never forgot how bad it could get sometimes when they had been on the streets) and she wanted to learn how to take care of him better. 

As his future wife, she even learned all about how to take care of his daily needs, even though there would have been servants who could do many things for him just as well. Shen Jiu was a loyal person and she had given Yue Qi her loyalty from the beginning, and later her love for him meant she wanted to be the best at caring for him because Yue Qi was not good at taking care of himself. He would work himself to the bone to make his parents proud and to become a prince who was capable of protecting the common people and taking care of their needs.

Yue Qi had always been kind. He had a good heart, though he could be incredibly impulsive. It was something that had gotten him into trouble during their time on the streets and she had often scolded him for it, begging him to think before he acted.

Yue Qi was a filial child, so he did his best, but it was hard on him. Knowing his nature made her extra attentive to him and she studied hard to be able to be a good wife.

Several years had passed since then, and Shen Jiu was close with the imperial family. Yue Yuan already considered her a sister and even Yue Wuhuan and his new wife Song Qingshi had become friends with her. She didn’t have many interactions with Yue Qi’s half siblings or their spouses but even then, when they met each other, they got along well.

The only person who wasn’t close to her anymore… seemed to be Yue Qi. When they were younger they had gotten along like a house on fire and were inseparable. But over the years, Yue Qi started pulling away from her. Oh he was still kind to her, but he was more withdrawn and distant from her.

His change in attitude saddened Shen Jiu greatly, but she thought that with time it would improve. Maybe he was just stressed, after all, as a prince he had many new duties and he also had to study hard to pass the imperial exams. 

Now that he had finally passed the imperial exam as top scorer, and with the highest scores out of his imperial brothers, maybe it would be a weight lifted off his shoulders and they could slowly regain their former closeness. 

All of this she thought while heading to the kitchens to personally brew medicine for Yue Qi because he surely would need it after celebrating with the other new scholars.

The hangover soup took Shen Jiu over an hour to brew, even with Yue Yuan’s help, but Yue Qingyuan still hadn't come back.

The Empress had a carriage prepared and sent Shen Jiu to pick him up. She understood that the Empress was trying to foster their relationship, so she went willingly to the tavern even though she hated being in places like that where drunk and rowdy men congregated. Yue Yuan tagged along to keep her company.

The carriage swayed as it took them to the largest tavern in Qiong Ding—Xuan Su Tavern. The newly appointed scholars were already drunk and in a heap. She brought along a servant to pull Yue Qingyuan out from the crowd. Yue Yuan would have helped but how could she drag the young princess into a place like that?

She quickly found Yue Qingyuan and instructed the servant to help her take him to the carriage.

Yue Qingyuan's tolerance for alcohol was actually quite low, and he was already very groggy. Upon seeing her, he instinctively frowned with a hint of irritated annoyance, muttering as if in a dream, "Why is Xiao-Jiu here again?"

Shen Jiu frowned.

In all the years she'd been in the palace, the times she'd gone out to fetch him could be counted on one hand, the last time being nearly a year ago.

This "again" was truly unwarranted. It made her feel like a nagging wife dragging her long-suffering husband back.

She rolled her eyes silently in her heart, maintaining the composed and dignified demeanor of a noble lady and said, "Qi-ge, you've had too much to drink. Let's go home."

He didn’t look like he wanted to go back with her, but eventually he dragged himself up and, with the help of the servant, made it back to the carriage.

He brightened slightly at the sight of Yue Yuan. 

“Meimei, you’re here too,” he said happily.

It sent a pang through Shen Jiu’s heart. He really didn’t want to be alone with her, huh? He certainly hadn’t looked happy to see her either.

Yue Qingyuan made his way to sit next to his sister, but Yue Yuan, knowing that her mother meant to foster their relationship, pushed her brother to sit next to Shen Jiu instead.

“Ge, you should sit with sister-in-law,” she teased.

Shen Jiu felt awkward but kept her face neutral so Yue Yuan wouldn’t see the turmoil within her.

A few minutes into the ride back to the palace, Yue Qingyuan vomited all over the carriage. Fortunately, she had the foresight to bring a few bags just for this situation, otherwise it would have been an unbearable ride.

After vomiting, he calmed down considerably, leaning against the wall of the carriage, his head gradually tilting onto her shoulder.

In his dazed state, he murmured, "You smell so good."

"…"

Drinking really did make one lose control. It was truly shocking to hear such a flippant remark from the usually composed and dignified Yue Qingyuan.

Yue Yuan, sitting on the other side, teased her with a wink. Shen Jiu blushed and glared at her, but inwardly, warned herself not to overthink it.

Since Shen Jiu liked studying medicine from the imperial doctors (and later from Song Qingshi, Yue Qingyuan's eldest sister-in-law), she often experimented with medicinal recipes or calming scents.

Today she had brought a sachet that could calm the nerves and counteract the effects of alcohol. He probably just found the scent pleasant. Yue Qingyuan hadn’t cuddled up to her much since they’d been engaged, stating propriety as the issue. She knew it wasn’t because of that but of course how could she refute his excuse. On the streets they’d often huddled together to sleep, and even when they’d been brought back to the palace, they’d remained close. Sure they were older now and they couldn’t go back to behaving like that but his distance from her was such that even the Empress contrived to push them together like this. 

When Yue Qingyuan returned home, he fell asleep immediately, and it was impossible to get the hangover soup that she had brewed into him.

Shen Jiu and his personal servant, Zhu Zhi, fussed over him for a long time, but in the end, they gave up.

Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she said, "Take good care of Qi-ge. He will have a headache when he wakes up from the hangover. I'll bring some medicine for the headache tomorrow."

Zhu Zhi also breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Don't worry, Miss Shen, I can do it."

“I know, but it pleases me to be of help to him.”

Zhu Zhi smiled at her.

“Miss Shen will make our prince a wonderful wife.”

She smiled demurely at the compliment and took her leave, but inside she felt cold.

Everyone seemed to share Zhu Zhi’s sentiment… but somehow, she had a bad feeling. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, Shen Jiu got up early, brewed some hangover and pain-relief soup, and personally brought it to Yue Qingyuan's courtyard.

She knocked on his door and heard his voice, hoarse from the aftereffects of drinking, with a hint of inexplicable panic, "Wait!"

From the sounds inside it seemed like he had just gotten up and was scrambling to make himself presentable. Shen Jiu had long seen Yue Qi in all sorts of states. She didn’t know why he was fussing about his appearance. It was just her after all. But she supposed as the new top scorer and the leading choice for crown prince, he had his pride.

She waited by the stone table in the courtyard for almost half an hour before Yue Qingyuan finally arrived. He sat down across from her, his demeanor strangely formal and serious.

Before Shen Jiu could get a word out, of congratulations or of concern, he spoke. 

The first thing he said?

"Shen Jiu, let's break off the engagement."

These words came so suddenly. 

Her heart seemed to have stopped. What... did he just say?

She had just picked up the hangover soup she had brought for him and had been holding it in her hand, ready to extend it to him. His words however had her stunned. She sat there frozen for what seemed an age. It was so long that the rim of the bowl left a mark on her hand, and so long that Yue Qingyuan frowned and softly called out to her, "Xiao-Jiu?"

She came back to her senses and asked in a trembling voice, "Why?"

Why? Where had she gone wrong to deserve such a decisive rejection?

He seemed to understand what she was thinking, "I don't dislike you. It's just that I don't want a marriage arranged by our parents. Xiao-Jiu, ask yourself honestly, do you really like me? We…"

"What if I said, I do like you?" she interrupted, voice and eyes both trembling.

Yue Qingyuan’s eyes widened slightly.

He seemed unable to believe that Shen Jiu, someone who often avoided speaking about her emotions and being vulnerable in such a way, could say such a thing straightforwardly like that. 

After a moment, he continued somewhat awkwardly, "But Xiao-Jiu, I only see you as a sister. I… I don't like you."

Of course he didn’t.

She smiled bitterly and said softly,"I know."

Her heart thudded painfully in her chest and her eyes burned.

Yue Qingyuan’s voice, saying “So Xiao-Jiu agrees to end the engagement?” reached her only vaguely, as if the sound was being filtered through waterlogged ears. 

She knew he didn't like her; she had always known. While Yue Qi always treated her with kindness, he had sometimes spoken to her like a misbehaving younger sister on the streets, and then later, when they came back to the palace, he had doted on her for a time, but then after it was much like he did Yue Yuan.

When their parents formalised the engagement… even that doting had become less and he had been more reserved with her. Never quite to the point of being cold, but always careful.. As if.. As if he truly did not want her to get the wrong idea.

She knew it. You couldn’t spend so much of your life with someone and not know when their behaviour towards you changed. 

It was just… she had loved him.
Shen Jiu hadn’t experienced much kindness in her early years. It was Yue Qi who had kept her from going off the rails when they were on the streets. Even though they’d had a difficult childhood, Yue Qi kept her grounded throughout it all. He’d protected her and she in turn protected him. He’d indulged her, though he was always kind and generous to the other street kids, whereas she was more shrewd, knowing that you couldn’t help everyone, especially when you yourself were in dire straits. It was unbecoming for a girl but she’d been a bit feral in those days.

Of course things changed when they were brought to the palace. But their relationship hadn’t changed that much. Yue Qi still treated her as his closest friend. Closer than a friend for a time in fact. People cooed about them being such cute childhood sweethearts. But he was also a big brother now to a little sister. And Yue Yuan had always been with them, overjoyed to have siblings and another girl to play with. Eventually, when he’d warmed up to the idea of being an older brother, he’d treated both Shen Jiu and Yue Yuan much the same.

So while Shen Jiu had been slowly falling for the boy who treated her so well… he had simply seen her as another younger sister.

She knew it… but she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

She had hoped that since they had been engaged and were to be married that eventually, given time, Yue Qi would come to see her as a woman rather than just a sister. It was partially why she tried so hard to take care of him and make herself into a good wife, so that he would see her efforts and maybe start to appreciate her as a woman.

But time had run out. 

They were adults now and Yue Qi’s heart hadn’t been moved by her. 

It was time to dispel those silly dreams of hers and face reality.

She put down the bowl of medicine gently and said only one word.

“Okay.”

Chapter Text

The next few days passed in a daze. Shen Jiu avoided everyone as much as possible, claiming to be studying a new medical formula and blaming her distance on research. Of course she actually had to act like she was doing it too or they would expect her to show up for meals etc. Eventually she actually did get into it for real because it served as a good distraction from the heartbreak that she was nursing.

Even Yue Yuan knew better than to disturb Shen Jiu when she was in the middle of studying.

But, speaking of Yue Yuan… 

“Jiejie,” cried Yue Yuan, running into the courtyard where Shen Jiu had been collecting herbs. 

She was breathless and sweaty and her eyes were red from crying.

“A-Yuan! What’s wrong?!”

“There’s no time to explain. Father Emperor is going to beat Qi-ge to death!”

She grabbed Shen Jiu’s arms and pulled her along urgently.

The Emperor, it seemed, had finally found out about Yue Qingyuan’s breaking of their engagement. Suffice to say, he was enraged.

So enraged that instead of having a servant delivering the family discipline… the Emperor himself was enforcing it!

Yue Qingyuan was kneeling in the ancestral hall while the Emperor used a cane to deliver lashes upon his back.

“Lord Shen is righteous. He has served his country well and he has saved your father’s life. Being able to marry his daughter is an honour for even us, the imperial family, and you dare to break off the engagement?”

As he spoke he struck him again.

The Empress was clutching a handkerchief to her teary face but dared not intervene.

Shen Jiu hurried over to them.

“Your Majesty, please stop!”

The Emperor turned to her, “Ah Qingqiu, you are here. Don’t worry, I will make sure this stubborn rascal submits and gives you an explanation for his behaviour.”

Qingqiu was the courtesy name her parents had given her when she had come of age. Though they were far away in Bailu, her father had included it in a letter to the Emperor, who was quite fond of the name. He was the only one who regularly used it for her. He had given Yue Qi the name Qingyuan when he came of age, and the Emperor approved of Lord Shen naming her with the same Qing character. It helped present a united front in his opinion.

Yue Qingyuan, kneeling on the ground with his back straight and his neck stiff, retorted defiantly through gritted teeth, "If you're so grateful to Lord Shen, then you can marry Shen Jiu yourself!"

Yue Qingyuan’s face twisted in regret as soon as the words left his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say it but his character flaw of impulsivity was acting up and he’d accidentally ended up blurting his angry thoughts towards the Emperor out loud. He winced apologetically towards Shen Jiu. But, of course he couldn’t take back the words once they had already been spoken.

"You unfilial brat! What did you say?"

His words were indeed excessive. The Emperor was trembling with anger, and Shen Jiu felt a chill run through her, both at the Emperor’s anger and at the stinging words from the mouth of the man she loved. 

(She didn’t want to think about how if the Emperor had been a man who was fond of beauties, that he just might marry her himself as Yue Qingyuan had resentfully suggested. Thankfully Emperor Yue was truly in love with the Empress, and his other consorts had only been favored on their wedding nights because those marriages were arranged for him by his father, the previous Emperor, and he could not escape them. That they bore fruit was surprising but welcome as children meant he did not have to make up any excuses to not favour them as they’d already provided him with sons. Now that he himself was Emperor, and he had 8 children already, nobody could force him to take another consort or concubine. The bloodline was secure and he would not hurt his Empress by accepting another marriage.)

She was upset with Yue Qingyuan, but nonetheless, she stepped forward to stop the Emperor from striking him again.

"Your Majesty, I am the one who wants to break off the engagement."

The Emperor shot her a disbelieving look.

Of course he knew that it wasn’t true. He was the Emperor. He knew what went on in his own palace.

But considering that she was the one who had been wronged and it seemed like she wanted to protect that infuriating brat of his, he snorted disagreeably and dropped the cane.

In the end, the engagement between Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu was broken off. The engagement token she had given Yue Qi, a pair of mandarin duck jade pendants bestowed by the previous Emperor to her father when he became the top scholar of his own generation, was returned to her.

Yue Yuan, who had had no idea that her brother had broken off his engagement with Shen Jiu, was confused and distraught.

When the imperial physicians came to take Yue Qingyuan to the infirmary to see to his wounds, she dragged Shen Jiu to her room to question her.

“Jiejie, what happened between you and Qi-ge? You didn’t really break the engagement did you?”

Shen Jiu sighed.

“If it was up to me, do you think your father would have beat him so badly?”

If it truly had been Shen Jiu’s will, Yue Qingyuan would not have been punished.

Yue Yuan’s already reddened eyes filled with tears once more, this time on behalf of Shen Jiu.

“But A-Jiu you—”

“I know,” Shen Jiu interrupted her.

Yue Yuan of course knew of her feelings for Yue Qingyuan. She was the one tagging along with Shen Jiu when she studied things to help her keep her husband’s home functioning, made medicines for his ailments, learned to cook his favourite meals, kept track of his schedule, helped him study, helped him outsmart his rivals etc etc. 

“Why didn’t you let father convince him to change his mind? You’ve invested so much into your relationship already, isn’t it a waste to let it go just like this?”

“A-Yuan, do you want to marry someone who has to be forced into it?”

Yue Yuan deflated.

Of course she understood how Shen Jiu must be feeling. It was just.. a bit of denial on her part. She was still in disbelief after all. This had happened so suddenly and she truly never saw it coming. How could Qi-ge discard A-Jiu like this?

A-Jiu was.. perfect. Yue Yuan really looked up to Shen Jiu. She was so skilled in so many different ways. Her calligraphy was excellent, she was proficient in the dizi, xiao, guqin and pipa, she could beat the best of them in Go, her paintings were magnificent, her embroidery was top class, she even had good medical skills… And she was elegant and gorgeous to boot. So many young men’s heads would turn when Shen Jiu walked by. If she hadn’t been engaged to the Emperor’s son, Yue Yuan was sure some of those men would have tried to get Shen Jiu to leave her fiance and marry them instead. One particularly brave Pei Ming had even dared to flirt with her despite it.

Heck, Yue Yuan couldn’t blame them. If she was a man, she might have just married Shen Jiu herself. She couldn’t understand what was wrong with her brother. Was he blind, deaf, and dumb?! Who would abandon a woman like Shen Jiu? Yes their marriage was arranged but he had lived with her for so long already and they had been good friends long before any engagement, couldn’t he see her worth? Though her betrothal had been broken, Yue Yuan had no doubt that it wouldn’t affect her prospects in the slightest. Shen Jiu was grade A wife material. The problem of course would be that Shen Jiu herself wouldn’t just choose any man to be with. 

The Emperor must have also considered betrothing Shen Jiu to one of his other sons to repay her father’s life saving grace. But his other sons were all married or betrothed already and Shen Jiu would have been forced to be a second wife which the Emperor knew Lord Shen would not agree with. He could issue an imperial decree but then it wouldn’t exactly be repaying Lord Shen’s life-saving grace if he forced the man’s daughter into a marriage they didn’t want. Had Shen Jiu indicated that this was something she might have wanted then he would have asked his other sons their opinions and seen what could be done on that front… but as it stood, the Emperor had watched Shen Qingqiu grow up and he could tell she had real feelings for Yue Qi. She wouldn’t just jump ship to his brothers. 

This meant that Shen Jiu, no matter who she married in the future, would not be marrying into the royal family.

The reality of this hit Yue Yuan. She would not be Shen Jiu’s sister in law and Shen Jiu.. would likely leave now that she was no longer with Yue Qingyuan, after all, who wanted to live in the same place as the man who spurned you? 

In the end, she held on to her and cried even more bitterly than Shen Jiu. 

Chapter Text

With the engagement broken off, Shen Jiu truly had no reason to stay at the palace. She would miss Yue Yuan dearly, but the thought of sticking around and watching Yue Qingyuan find some other woman to love… no.. she couldn’t do it. Of course the Emperor and Empress told her she was welcome to stay for as long as she liked. Yue Yuan was still very fond of her company and they were fond of their only daughter so they wouldn’t deny her Shen Jiu’s companionship. But though Yue Yuan wanted to beg her to stay, she knew it would only hurt Shen Jiu.

“What are you going to do now jiejie?”

Shen Jiu had already come of age and was an adult, so she did not necessarily need to live under someone else's roof to survive.

Every time her parents wrote, they told her about the customs and scenery of Bailu county. She had never seen it and she wanted to go see it for herself so she decided she might just go to Bailu and rejoin her parents, miasma from Bailu forest or no. Though truthfully she had never been away from Qiong Ding, so anywhere she travelled would be a novelty for her.

“I might travel a bit. See the world. Expand my horizons.”

“Break a few hearts?” Yue Yuan teased.

Shen Jiu’s mouth quirked slightly.

“I think I’m done with matters of the heart,” she said, slightly jokingly, though Yue Yuan could feel the hint of truth within her words.

Shen Jiu appreciated Yue Yuan trying to take her mind off things though. She accompanied Shen Jiu while she prepared to leave.

The Emperor granted her a carriage and a few guards. He even sent her with a few servants and her own personal maid, Ning YingYing, who had served her at the palace while she was in residence. Wherever she wanted to travel or settle down, she would have people with her to protect her and help her.

Yue Qingyuan had been feeling so guilty towards her, that he had gone to a friend’s place to rest and recuperate from his wounds. He thought that it would be best to give Shen Jiu some space to come to terms with their broken engagement. 

So, on the day she left the palace, his family were there to see her off, but the man himself was missing.

The Empress held her hand and cried, lamenting that her son wasn’t even there to see her off, "Qingyuan is doing well lately and has grown wings. Even his father and I can't control him anymore." Of course technically the Emperor could control him but what would be the point? It wasn’t like Yue Qingyuan was doing anything wrong otherwise. It was just his stubborn refusal to be married to Shen Jiu that was making the Emperor unhappy.

She gently held Empress Yue’s hand in reassurance and said, "Your Majesties, please don't blame yourselves. I will always remember how well your family treated me. And as for Qi-ge, he has actually been quite kind to me."

In the years she stayed with the imperial family, he never mistreated her. He just didn't show the affection typical of an engaged couple.

What fault did he have? He simply didn't like her.

The Empress continued to wipe her tears, but she smiled with relief that Shen Jiu didn’t have any hard feelings towards them.

"When he told me he didn't want a marriage arranged by his parents, I thought about it for a long time and found it very reasonable. Over these years, we've been tied together by the engagement. I haven't met any other young men, and he couldn't get to know other girls. Perhaps I should go out and see the world; maybe there's someone out there I would like even more. Please convey my message to him: The past few years were my fault for holding him back. I hope he finds a good match and lives a peaceful life."

This was the last message Shen Jiu left for Yue Qingyuan.

When Yue Qingyuan returned to the residence after recovering from his injuries, a month had already passed.

The month had not been easy for him.

On the surface, he was a refined gentleman, but inside, he had a rebellious streak.

The doctor had applied medicine to his back and given him numerous dietary restrictions. He agreed to all of them but refused to follow through.

As a result, his wound worsened today and festered tomorrow, causing him unbearable pain. Zhu Zhi, his personal servant, earnestly advised, "My good prince, our top scholar, please follow the doctor's advice and take proper care of yourself for a while, will you?"

Yue Qingyuan, irritated, replied, "In the past, when I was injured or ill, it was never this troublesome."

Zhu Zhi sighed helplessly, "In the past, Miss Shen personally took care of you. She remembered all the dietary restrictions and made medicinal meals that were both delicious and beneficial for your recovery. Us mere servants don't have that kind of skill since she was the one always fulfilling those duties. She never let us take over."

Yue Qingyuan was struck silent. To be fair, Xiao-Jiu did take excellent care of him.

But he was really unwilling to be forced by his father to marry his benefactor's daughter, which was why he treated her so coldly. He wanted to marry for love, not for duty. He was the seventh son after all, it wasn’t as if his marriage would determine the fate of the country. Even though he was in line for the crown prince’s position, he actually didn’t particularly want it. 

His older brother, Yue Wuhuan, would be a better ruler than he would. And his sister-in-law Song Qingshi would make an excellent Empress. In fact she and Xiao-Jiu had gotten along well, and since both were interested in medicine, they had a lot to talk about. So, even if Xiao-Jiu didn’t become her sister-in-law, it didn’t mean that their relationship would deteriorate just because they lacked official family ties. Yue Yuan also really liked Shen Jiu. So Shen Jiu might not be marrying him anymore, but she still had many people who liked her in the palace and she would not be lonely.

Now that he had calmed down from his argument with his father, he realised his words and actions that day were inappropriate. Truthfully he had realised it right away but he had still been angry and unwilling to compromise. He should apologize to Xiao-Jiu. Even if they were no longer engaged, she still called him Qi-ge.

He queued up to buy osmanthus cakes from Ruyi Zhai, rehearsing his apology along the way. From now on, they would call each other siblings, and he would still protect her.

He might not love her romantically, but he did love her as a sister. She was one of his dearest friends and he hoped with time, when the hurt subsided, that they could go back to being as close as they were before. He knew it was partially his fault that they weren’t, since he had closed himself off to her a bit after their fathers unilaterally agreed on their betrothal with nary a consideration for their own feelings. But he had hope that with time their relationship would mend.

He went back to the palace, cakes in hand, and tried to find Shen Jiu.

But Shen Jiu had already left.

Chapter Text

“Jiu-er is not here. She’s been gone a month already.”

He frowned, puzzled,"What do you mean she’s gone? Where did she go after leaving the palace?"

His mother, who always pampered him, for once didn't show him a kind face,"The world is vast. Where can't she go?"

Then she poked his forehead in frustration, "You silly boy! You won't find another good girl like Jiu-er even with a lantern. You've been clamoring to break off the engagement. You'll cry about it later!"

Cry?

Impossible.

Xiao-Jiu was lovely but she wasn’t the only good girl in the world.

But for some reason, his heart still felt somewhat empty. Seems like Xiao-Jiu was even more upset than he thought. He wasn’t pleased that she was hurting so much but he couldn’t force himself to marry her. He had hoped they could repair their friendship at least so it was a bit disheartening to hear that she left. But then again, how far could a young girl go? Sooner or later, she'd come back when she'd had enough of travelling. Maybe it was a good thing. She could use the time to get over him and then come back.

He put the osmanthus cakes aside, intending to give it to his younger sister instead.

He did not expect that Shen Jiu would be gone for years.. And he certainly did not realise that Yue Yuan… had gone with her.

—-----

When Shen Jiu left Qiong Ding, she had only intended to take Ning YingYing with her. The Emperor and Empress decided that it was dangerous for two young women to be travelling alone and insisted on sending her with guards and a few more servants. She couldn’t turn them down. So instead of one carriage she was travelling with two. 

Thus, it was understandable that Shen Jiu hadn’t clocked on to the fact that one of the new servant girls… was actually Yue Yuan in disguise!

“You didn’t think that you could leave me behind did you?” Yue Yuan said disapprovingly, when Shen Jiu finally found that her new serving girl seemed a bit too familiar. 

“A-Yuan, what are you doing here?” Shen Jiu said in surprise and dismay. “We need to turn back right now—” she said, and was about to signal this to the carriage driver, before Yue Yuan pulled her back.

“You don’t want me?” Yue Yuan said, hurt blooming in her eyes.

“It’s not like that. You know I enjoy your company. That’s not the issue. But your parents must be worried sick about you!” Yue Yuan had an adventurous streak and if she had snuck out of the palace, they would know she was gone by now and they must be panicking. 

“Oh,” Yue Yuan said, relaxing now that she realised what Shen Jiu’s problem was, “Don’t worry, they know I’m here with you. I begged them to let me come.”

Ah.

Well. 

That explained why the Emperor was so insistent on sending so many guards when initially he had just sent two, a pair going by the names of Ming Fan and Luo Binghe. Then the two had tripled to six and Shen Jiu tried to refuse but he was not budging on the matter. She supposed by that time Yue Yuan had already been begging them to let her go with Shen Jiu. The Emperor could not let people know the princess was leaving the palace to travel randomly so he just discreetly added more guards to Shen Jiu’s party and had her pretend to be a serving girl until they left the capital.

In any event, Yue Yuan was already here and she was pleasant company for her travels, so Shen Jiu would not look a gift horse in the mouth.

The first place they stopped was Wan Jian.

They hadn’t actually intended to stop there, but they were forced to come to a halt as an extravagant bridal procession was leaving Wan Jian, and if they had to follow behind it it would be a wait because they could not get in the middle of it and it seemed like the procession out of Wan Jian was still quite long. Instead they took the road to go into Wan Jian and tried to find an inn. Since they were already there, why not explore for a few days and then head out?

“Laoban-niang,” Yue Yuan asked in a tone of gossip to the innkeeper, “Whose wedding is taking place? The bride must be an important figure with such a grand procession. Our carriage cannot even continue at the moment.”

The innkeeper chuckled, “Lord Wei Changze’s precious daughter Wei Ying is being married off to her childhood sweetheart, Young Master Jiang, from Lotus Pier. Of course the bridal procession is extravagant. It’s a shame you only came just now, you should have seen how resplendent Lord Wei’s heir, Qingwei, looked at the front of it. He’s still single, maybe one of you lovely ladies might have caught his eye.” She winked conspiratorily at them.

The innkeeper might have been old but she wasn’t blind. The two young misses that came to rent rooms from her were rare beauties. Heck, even the lady’s maid behind them was pretty. These two probably weren’t ordinary women. 

The guards that tried to follow discreetly behind them certainly indicated that they were, at the very least, nobles. Others would not have noticed but the innkeeper was an experienced woman, having seen many types of people come into her inn during her many years manning the counter. 

Shen Jiu smirked slightly. “Well, it’s a shame indeed. We’re sorry to have missed him.” She was being sarcastic of course.

Yue Yuan nudged her. “Next time then.Maybe our Jiu-er will be Lady Wei in the future.”

“Me? No. I think you would be more suitable as Lady Wei,” Shen Jiu teased, as they left the innkeeper behind and headed to find seats in the dining area to have a meal.

“I know, how about we introduce him to YingYing,” Yue Yuan joked, linking arms with the now blushing maid, “She’s so cute he will surely fall for her.”

“Don’t tease,” YingYing said, red faced and shy.

“How do we know this Young Master Wei will be fair to our YingYing?” Ming Fan, one of Shen Jiu’s personal guards, interjected, “She might be too good for him. He might not deserve her.”

“Ooh and who do you think deserves her guard Ming?” Yue Yuan said with a wicked smile. Ming Fan had taken their jokes seriously it seemed. 

“I think maybe someone has a little crush on our YingYing,” Shen Jiu said, not leaving the poor guard any face.

“I.. it’s not.. I don’t…” he stammered, face turning red.

“Well I don’t know if the future Lord Wei deserves YingYing, but Ming Fan certainly doesn’t!” proclaimed Shen Jiu’s other personal guard, Luo Binghe.

“What, and you think you do, do you?” Ming Fan retorted, enraged.

“Please don’t fight,” YingYing said weakly.

Their little joke had gotten out of hand since the guards took their words seriously and then started bickering.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Shen Jiu said sternly, “We’re going to eat now so you two stop behaving like little beasts and eat your meal quietly.”

“Sorry my lady,” they chorused, and they settled down, though not without sharing a parting glare.

Yue Yuan, trying to break the awkwardness, joked, “I think that guards Ming and Luo make a better match together than with YingYing, don’t you jiejie? Look at how in sync they are!”

They both squawked simultaneously and then glared at each other again.

Shen Jiu’s eyes lit up, “Oh, yes, I agree. Their minds work in tandem it seems. They’d make a splendid couple.”

Their meal opened with the sound of laughter and the distressed noises of the guards.

It definitely wasn’t a bad start to their travels.

Chapter Text

The next stop they made was An Ding. Apparently Yue Yuan had a favourite author whose books were released first in An Ding before being distributed elsewhere. There was a new copy out of a series about some white cat and a dog? Shen Jiu couldn’t remember the title because Yue Yuan barely mentioned it before going on a whole rant about it. Yue Yuan couldn’t wait to get her hands on the newest edition, which was supposed to be released very soon, so they stopped in An Ding to see if they could get their hands on an early copy.

They found the biggest bookseller in An Ding and had Luo Binghe and Ming Fan take turns keeping watch for when the book might be set out for sale. They didn’t know why it was so important to Yue Yuan that they get there early but well, she was the princess so if she wanted it then they’d keep watch all day and night if they had to.

Well… they soon found out why Yue Yuan insisted on staking out the bookstore. As soon as the seller put up a sign out front that the new copy had arrived… people started swarming.

Luo Binghe, who was on stake out duty at the time, barely managed to elbow his way through the throng. He had to wrestle a copy out of someone’s hands and throw the money at the book seller, then fight his way back out again.

He came out looking like a ruffled chicken.

“Your book, my lady,” he said, breathlessly presenting it to Yue Yuan (they didn’t call her princess in public as she was ‘undercover’ so to speak). 

“Thank you for your service xiao-Bing,” she said, and rubbed his head as a reward (she couldn’t help it, his hair was so fluffy!). 

Luo Binghe blushed profusely at the nickname.

He was so flustered that he stumbled backwards just in time to accidentally knock over someone who was walking behind him.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologised, and helped pick up the nondescript young lady he had crashed into, whose face they couldn’t see due to the weimao she had on. She dusted herself off slightly. “It’s.. it’s okay…” she stammered, sounding quite anxious and she ducked down again, scrambling to pick up what she dropped.. Which turned out to be.. A wad of papers?

Yue Yuan, feeling sorry that it was thanks to her joke that Binghe hadn’t paid attention to his surroundings, tried to help her pick up the papers that had scattered when she got knocked over before the wind blew them away.

“Ah let me do that!” Binghe protested.

“It’s okay, I’ve got it,” Yue Yuan declined.

Between her and the other girl they’d managed to get them all already.

Some of the papers had gotten crumpled in the rush to pick them up. Yue Yuan tried to straighten them out before giving them back to her.

In the process, she spotted a few familiar names and she started paying attention to what was written on the paper.

Yue Yuan’s eyes widened. This was a manuscript that looked different from the more polished books available for sale. It was filled with scribbles in the margins etc that seemed almost like directions, so it could only be… the handwritten manuscript blueprint for the novel Yue Yuan had just purchased!

“Kite Flying Towards the Sky?!”

“Eep.”

The girl squeaked nervously. “Don’t say that out loud!”

She finally raised her head from where she was hurriedly arranging the rest of her papers together, to see who had figured out her identity. She hadn’t actually looked at the people who bumped into her because she was too worried about her fallen manuscript.

It was her turn to widen her eyes and say, “Prin—” 

But before she could get the word out her mouth was blocked, Weimao and all, by Luo Binghe.

“Refer to her as My Lady,” he said sternly.

The young lady gulped and nodded frantically so he let her go.

“How do you know who I am?” 

Both Yue Yuan and Kite Flying Towards the Sky said at the same time.

“Uh maybe we shouldn’t have this conversation here?” said the nervous sounding author.

Well seeing that the author knew the identity of the princess, that was probably the right call.

“Very well, follow me,” Yue Yuan said, and she made her way to the inn that they had booked.

Upon meeting up with the others, Yue Yuan explained what had happened. They went up to Yue Yuan’s room for more privacy.

Kite Flying Towards the Sky removed her weimao.

“Shang Qinghua?!”

“Hi…” Shang Qinghua laughed nervously. “Fancy seeing you here princess.”

“ You’re Kite Flying Towards the Sky?!”

“That’s me…”

In the time it took to get to the inn, Shang Qinghua had already figured out that the princess read her novels, which was why she was able to see that one page and discern her identity as the author.

“You know her then?” Shen Jiu queried.

“Yes, remember I came to An Ding some years ago with father? He had to attend the funeral of Lord Shang’s father and brought me along because I wouldn’t let him leave to travel without me. It was then I met Shang Qinghua. She’s Lord Shang’s heiress. I bought my first Kite Flying Towards the Sky book then too. I had no idea the future Lady Shang and Kite Flying Towards the Sky were one and the same.”

“Heiress you say?” Shen Jiu said, looking at Shang Qinghua shrewdly.

Shang Qinghua shrank a little at her piercing stare but nodded.

“He doesn’t have any sons and has no intention of passing An Ding over to anyone but her,” Yue Yuan informed her.

“Is that so… Interesting.”

If Lord Shang could do so, what was stopping Shen Jiu from just being the heiress of Qing Jing? If she never got married then couldn’t she just take over from her father? She was an only child after all. If she married, the lordship would go to her cousin Shen Qiao once her father either abdicated, passed on, or was removed by the Emperor. Shen Qiao was a good person but Shen Jiu didn’t want to be left in a position where someone (other than the Emperor who had power over everyone) could control her marriage and her fate if she chose not to marry again. 

She would discuss it with her father once she got to Bailu county.

“Well you all know who I am… Care to introduce me to your companions?” Shang Qinghua asked, given that she had no idea who anyone else was except Yue Yuan.

Yue Yuan sighed exaggeratedly but complied with Kite’s request. 

“So you’re just travelling around the country together?”

“Pretty much.”

“Sounds great. I wish I could travel too.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Are you crazy, my old man would never let me go off alone. He would say he didn’t have the resources to send me on a trip but what he’d mean is that he wants all his guards to be allocated for business escorts only and not leisure, which is what this trip would be. He only cares about results and profits. It’s not profitable to send his guards with me around Cang Qiong for fun when he could have them hired out to escort merchants etc.”

“Well… I could make you a deal…”

“What kind of deal?”

“If I speak to your father and ask him to let you come with us… you have to tell me the plot of the next book! You won’t be alone and will be guarded by imperial guards at no cost to himself.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Shang Qinghua muttered, “But fine. If my father agrees to let me go with you then you can have spoilers.”

Shen Jiu didn’t know how she felt about having a new addition, but her carriage could hold Shang Qinghua too, since only Yue Yuan and Ning YingYing were in hers. The rest of the servants were in the second carriage the Emperor sent. 

Since Yue Yuan seemed to be excited about having the author of her favourite books travelling with them, Shen Jiu wouldn’t object.

—-------

A few hours into leaving An Ding, Shen Jiu nearly regretted not objecting.

Was Shang Qinghua really Yue Yuan’s favourite author? She was currently viciously ripping apart one of Shang Qinghua’s early novel series and whacking the author with her fan when she was unhappy with the plot direction for the current series. Every time this happened Ning YingYing would jump, scared that the normally cheerful princess was behaving so differently.

And as for Shang Qinghua… despite being berated and hit she seemed to be enjoying riling Yue Yuan up. In fact, Shen Jiu had the sneaking suspicion that Shang Qinghua was saying increasingly ridiculous things just to watch Yue Yuan puff up. 

Once Shang Qinghua had gotten over her anxious phase (guess she didn’t do so well around strangers?) she was comfortable enough to ignore the others and focus on pushing Yue Yuan’s buttons.

Their arguments (was it even arguing at this point? It seemed more like Shang Qinghua teasing Yue Yuan) came to an abrupt halt however, when the carriage did.

In an effort to not hit a child that had wandered into the path of the carriage, running happily away from his mother with an excitable laugh, thinking it was a game when the mother chased him, the driver tried to pull the horses to move to the side. It happened so fast that they had no time to brace and they all slid to one side haphazardly. 

Except at the time of the incident Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua had been sitting side by side but had turned to face each other because they had been ‘conversing’. When the carriage shifted and they all slid to the left of it… Yue Yuan fell into Shang Qinghua… lips first.

“Mmph!”

There was a squeak of surprise from one of them.

Their eyes bugged out of their heads and for a minute neither of them moved, shock holding them firmly in place.

Then as quickly as it had happened they sprung apart from each other, red-faced. 

“I.. you..”

“No..nothing happened!”

Ning YingYing and Shen Jiu shared a knowing glance.

Right.

Nothing.

Mhm. 

Sure.

Shen Jiu would believe that when the red in their ears subsided and when they stopped glancing at each other and looking away every few minutes. 

Chapter Text

Shen Jiu couldn’t deny that she was enjoying travelling around Cang Qiong. They had been to many of the provinces already. After An Ding they visited Xian Shu, Jinlintai (ugh the lord in charge there had such gaudy taste and he was a womaniser to boot.. They got out of there the moment he started making eyes at them), and Tian Yi. 

Shen Jiu’s last planned stop before heading to her parents was Qian Cao. They were renowned for producing genius doctors (who tended to end up in Qiong Ding to serve the emperor) and she had hoped to pick up a few tips and some more herbs. Unfortunately, when she tried to arrange a visit to the residence of the Lord of Qian Cao, hoping to liaise with his second son, Mu Qingfang (who was one of those who had extraordinary medical talent) she was disappointed to meet with only Mu Qing, Lord Mu Tianchi’s elder son. 

Mu Qing gave her a few pointers but he was more martially inclined than medically (in the sense that while he was an adequate doctor, he only knew a little more than she did) and did not have his younger brother's medical genius. Lord Mu Tianchi had gone with Mu Qingfang to help out the military doctors in Bai Zhan as they had recently had another battle and would need more infirmary staff. 

She didn’t expect that out of all the places they visited, they would stay in Qian Cao the longest, despite not getting what she actually came to Qian Cao for.

They ended up renting out a small house with a courtyard and Shen Jiu set up shop as a doctor.

Why? Well as it turned out, all the travelling they were doing had severely depleted their funds! Mu Qing had offered to help them out if they needed financial assistance but Shen Jiu never liked being beholden to anyone so she just asked him to help her find a good place to rent. He did indeed manage to come through for them, setting them up in a nice, albeit small, house with a courtyard. The rent was cheap because they all agreed to a smaller place and would share rooms (Luo Binghe and Ming Fan didn’t seem happy to be paired up… Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua.. pretended they weren’t happy to be paired up) and she would be able to earn more than they spent. Plus she would get valuable experience, so all in all it was a better plan than trying to simply go it with the funds they had left to them. If any emergency occurred they might not have enough, so best try and earn some more.

Could Shen Jiu have sold calligraphy or paintings instead? Yes! However… the materials would cost a lot more and it would be more time consuming, so opening a clinic it was!

Over the next few weeks, Shen Jiu was busily treating patients, with the assistance of Ning YingYing. Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua were occupied with the next part of Shang Qinghua’s series. Shang Qinghua was writing and Yue Yuan was critiquing/editing. 

If, more often than not, they came down to dinner with red lips, nobody said a thing. Though Luo Binghe had taken to subtly glaring at Shang Qinghua (subtly because Yue Yuan had scolded him for it when she noticed). Bickering was their form of flirting Shen Jiu guessed.

So the weeks passed by in similar fashion.

Until one day something out of the ordinary happened, something very cliched mind you, is what Shen Jiu would later think.

Shen Jiu and Ning YingYing were coming back from the apothecary when they stumbled across a man lying on the road and looking for all the world like he had just laid down and died there.

Ming Fan was her assigned guard that day and she instructed him to bring the man to the ‘clinic’.
He was a bit concerned about this strange man and Ning YingYing echoed his sentiment, saying, “Maybe we should just leave him be? He could be dangerous. Maybe we…. Maybe we shouldn’t save him.”

But Shen Jiu disagreed.

The reason was simple: he was wearing the military uniform of their dynasty.

"Look at the insignia on his uniform. He's from the Liu family whose army is guarding the border, a hero defending the nation. He deserves to be saved."

His injuries wouldn’t be fatal once he was treated properly. He had significant blood loss from them which was why he had fainted on the road. Ming Fan, helped by Ning YingYing, carried him to the clinic and Shen Jiu took care of him.

The man was clearly military, but his face was uncommonly pretty. There was a mole below his left eye that added a lot of charm to him. Shen Jiu couldn’t help but glance at it a few times while taking care of him. Really, his future wife would be very happy to wake up to that face.

It had been two days before he slowly regained consciousness.

At the moment, she had been changing his bandages. 

He woke up and instinctively grabbed her neck, his voice cold, "Who are you?"

"Your saviour."

His grip tightened a bit, his voice still cold enough to freeze.

"You'd better tell the truth."

She rolled her eyes and said, "I've already told you that I'm your saviour. If you don't let go, it will start to feel like you're repaying kindness with enmity."

He was very lucky that she didn’t often let the guards into the rooms with patients or the man would have already had a broken limb for daring to lay a hand on her.

If she screamed they would come running so she didn’t fear this man in any event. She knew he was disoriented as well, given the state she found him in.

He glanced around the surroundings, seemingly finding nothing suspicious, and hesitated before releasing her neck.

However, he still seemed uneasy, so he added a fierce but unconvincing threat.

"You'd better not have any ulterior motives, or I will kill you!"

As he spoke, he lowered his head to check his wound, only to see her hand changing the dressing on his chest. The stern-faced man suddenly turned bright red.

He quickly pushed her hands away, wrapped himself tightly in his clothes, and stammered,"You-you-you, men and women shouldn't touch each other!"

"…"

"Oh, fine. Then you can change the bandages yourself."

Already annoyed from being choked, she clapped her hands and left to see other (paying) patients and earn money.

She didn’t see the man’s jaw drop as she decisively left him there to fend for himself.

Chapter Text

The person she had saved was Liu Qingge, the only son of the Liu family. He had been looking for Mu Qingfang, who was a friend of his, but his injuries had taken a toll on him before he could get to him. He didn’t know that Mu Qingfang had gone to the Bai Zhan army himself, so he had just needed to find his way there instead of trying to come to Qian Cao. 

She had heard of his reputation back in the capital. Young General Liu had been defending Cang Qiong with his father and cousins from a young age. He was exceptionally handsome but had inherited his father's stern, grim demeanor.

The first part was true. After being cleaned up, Liu Qingge was indeed very good-looking, but the second part was debatable (or so she thought… she hadn’t realised that the reason why he wasn’t displaying that sternness she expected was because… he was in front of her ).

After a few weeks of interaction, this supposedly grim young general displayed quite a bit of a petulant child's nature. 

"I'm a dignified fifth-rank general! And you, Dr. Shen, want me to chop wood?"

She calmly organized her medicine box. "You eat my food and live in my house. Shouldn't you do some work to repay that?"

He clutched his chest and pouted, "But I'm still injured! The guards can chop wood can’t they?” (Shen Jiu had NO idea how much Mu Qingfang would have given to have Liu Qingge actually sit still and rest when he was injured.)

She couldn’t deny the pout was adorable. But she wouldn’t let it move her!

She slung her medicine box over her shoulder, ready to head out. "Alright, considering you're injured, the guards will chop the wood instead of doing their actual duties. But tonight the rest of us will have fish soup, and you'll have stir-fried vegetables. Can’t have a patient in your condition eating too much meat!"

Liu Qingge sprang up like a carp, righteously declaring, "I was wrong. I'll chop the wood right now!" 

"…"

He quickly rolled off to chop wood, and she went out with Ning YingYing to see patients.

This type of scene played out almost daily, with the exception of the first few weeks when he had been more injured and thus, more grumpy, so she hadn’t asked him to do any labour at that point. 

The first time Luo Binghe saw this scene playing out (it was his turn on patient guard duty), he was furious. The second time, he was puzzled. By the third time, he was numb to it, "My Lady, do you think there's something wrong with his brain? He's done all the chores you assigned him, but why does he always have to argue with you before doing them?"

"I don't know, maybe he's just bored. I've encountered many mischievous children like that in my medical practice.” 

(The guards or other servants could indeed chop the wood or do other chores… but Liu Qingge needed to keep his muscles from losing mass/ atrophying while he was recovering so it really was an excuse for him to get some exercise without a sword. His physical wounds had all but healed after all. She wouldn’t have let him do manual labour if they weren’t. And Liu Qingge did do everything she asked him to… but not without being contrary first!)

Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua giggled together when Luo Binghe, Ming Fan, and Ning YingYing recounted what they witnessed everyday between the two of them. Shen Jiu had no idea they were writing a new book together… using her and Liu Qingge as inspiration!

They dared not tease her directly because she would tease them back and Yue Yuan had an incredibly thin face.

On the tenth week of Liu Qingge's stay, she instructed him as usual before heading out to see patients.

"Chop the firewood, boil some hot water, and take the herbs from the west room out to dry."

"Okay."

"…"

???

Such obedience was out of character.

Shen Jiu looked up at him in confusion. He kept his head down, avoiding eye contact. After a moment, she understood and asked,"Are you going back to the military camp soon?"

She almost forgot, he was a young general.

Liu Qingge replied sullenly, "Yes."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Alright, then I'll buy fewer groceries for dinner."

"Shen Qing Qiu!"

Liu Qingge raised his head, glaring at her with wide eyes, though they were slightly red. 

She couldn't help but laugh,"What? Do you want to have dinner before you leave? You probably won't make it back to Bai Zhan before dark if you do."

"Don't you have anything else to say?"

He looked at her earnestly and she gradually stopped smiling.

What should she say?

These ten weeks had indeed been pleasant, but so what?

Yue Qingyuan and her had been childhood sweethearts, but they still ended up like this when they grew up.

She no longer dared to easily give her heart, nor easily confirm a relationship.

Besides, she had already stayed in Qian Cao long enough. It was time to continue her journey to Bailu to see her parents.

So she smiled and said, "Well then, Young General Liu, eat well and don't be picky. Let's meet again if fate allows."

Chapter Text

They thanked Mu Qing for his help before leaving Qian Cao, and after another month of travel, they finally reached Bailu county. 

Shen Jiu had written to them beforehand, so her parents weren't too surprised when they saw her. But after being apart for multiple years, she had grown from a little girl into a young woman. 

Her mother couldn't stop her tears when she saw her, and in the end, the three of them, along with Yue Yuan, hugged and talked for an entire day. The others joined them at dinner and they regaled her parents with all of Shen Jiu’s exploits.

Upon hearing about their journey, her father was greatly impressed by her medical skills and told everyone he met that he had a little divine doctor as a daughter.

The local county magistrate, after having his ears talked off by the Qing Jing Lord, finally brightened up when he looked at an official document he’d recently received and said, "Brother Shen, we have few stationed troops here in Bailu, but the neighboring Bai Zhan is in dire need of military doctors. How about letting your daughter become a military doctor?"

Her mother cautiously said, "Our Jiu Jiu is a young girl. It might not be appropriate for her to be in a camp full of men."

But her father patted his chest proudly and said, "I can't speak for other camps, but in Old Liu's camp, there would be absolutely no problem."

This was true. The discipline in the Liu family's army was famously strict, something even Shen Jiu, a sheltered girl in the capital, had heard about.

Her mother was still hesitant, but she nodded.

Shen Jiu was happy to have their acceptance.

Firstly, she would be thrilled to contribute to the soldiers guarding their borders. Secondly, she was glad to have some direction for her life now, after all, she was no longer to be married to the seventh prince. 

Thirdly….

She happened to want to see someone who was in Bai Zhan.

—------

Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua teased her when they heard in which camp she was accepting the position of military doctor.

“Jiu-jiejie, I knew there was a reason you sent him packing so easily!”

“Yeah she must have known they were going to be reunited soon anyway~”

Yue Yuan might have been joking around but she sobered up soon enough.

“Jiejie, you mustn't let my brother stop you from finding love again. General Liu is a good guy. He has an upright reputation. He wouldn’t cheat or abuse you. He wouldn’t try to control you. He’s not destitute or bad with money. And you’ve seen how he follows your instructions, despite his weird way to get your attention by being contrary. I think that he would be a good husband to you. He respects you and he likes you. He’s loyal, hardworking and honest. If you have any liking towards him at all, I think you should give him a chance.”

“I’ll keep that in mind Yuan-er,” Shen Jiu said, amused despite herself.

Yue Yuan had become a dear friend. She wouldn’t trade her for the world. She wouldn’t even trade her for Yue Qi. If it was one thing that she didn’t regret about her relationship with Yue Qi– no, Yue Qingyuan now (her Qi-ge it seems… was long gone) it was that she got a friend in Yue Yuan. 

Ironically Yue Qingyuan saw her as his younger sister (or so he claimed) while she… she saw his sister as a younger sister. Yue Qingyuan could never be a brother to her. When he severed their engagement, he severed her heartstrings too. It was too late for her to have any relationship other than mere cordiality now with him. She could never go back to the Shen Jiu who had seen him as nothing more than a good friend. That ship had sailed. The Shen Jiu who had loved him had existed longer than ‘good friend Shen Jiu’ and now they were both gone. He could have ‘blandly polite Shen Jiu’. It’s all she could afford to give him of herself now. 

She packed her bags and headed out with her father to Bai Zhan. Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua would accompany them, but they wouldn’t be able to stay with Shen Jiu at the military camp. After they dropped off Shen Jiu and let her get settled in, they would head back to Qiong Ding. 

Yue Yuan wanted to introduce Shang Qinghua to her family. Shen Jiu knew she would try to get them to like Shang Qinghua first before dropping the news that she intended to be with Shang Qinghua romantically. Not even Shen Jiu could pretend to know how Yue Yuan’s parents would react to their relationship. Even Yue Yuan didn’t know how to react to her own relationship at first. 

Heck, it took her a while initially to accept that she wasn’t just interested in Shang Qinghua because she was a fan of her novels but that she really did like Shang Qinghua in general. So even though technically Yue Yuan’s parents wouldn’t mind if she stayed with Shen Jiu (she would be safe with the Liu army to protect her after all), Yue Yuan would be returning to Qiong Ding and dragging a terrified Shang Qinghua back with her.

Only Ning YingYing would be staying with Shen Jiu. The imperial guards would go back with Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua. The military camp could not house and feed too many extra people. And as for safety, well she shouldn’t have to worry about that, not with the Lius. Besides… Liu Qingge was there and she didn’t think he’d let any harm come to her. Even if he didn’t care for her he would keep her safe to repay his debt of gratitude to her for her medical care.

Shen Jiu spent a mere two weeks with her parents before they headed out to Bai Zhan. Bai Zhan was thankfully the next place over so it wasn’t a long trip. Shen Jiu was glad nonetheless that it meant less travelling. She had had enough for the moment and felt like she needed to settle down somewhere. 

Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua helped her to take her things to her new quarters… which happened to be a large tent. Ning YingYing had a smaller one right beside her. Thankfully the tent was spacious and clean and it had soft bedding. 

Shen Jiu had lived in much worse places before, and though she’d gotten accustomed to much better… she recently spent a long while on the road, travelling from place to place, having to sleep in a carriage, which had undoubtedly prepared her for the not so luxurious life of military tent living. 

Her friends helped her arrange her new quarters and then it was time for them to leave.

It was uncharacteristic of her but she couldn’t help but tightly hug both Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua (who had grown on her.. like a particularly clingy weed). She didn’t know when she would see them again after all. Qiong Ding was far from Bai Zhan. Though if Yue Yuan decided she wanted to marry Shang Qinghua (which, given the fact that she was taking her to meet her imperial parents… seemed increasingly likely) then they might move to An Ding (given that Shang Qinghua was the heiress), which would be somewhere in the middle. 

Shen Jiu was grateful to have Ning YingYing for company.. But she had spent a long time together with their little crew, and it would be quite lonely to go back to having one person as company. Sure there was Liu Qingge, but he was a general, he would undoubtedly be very busy… as would Shen Jiu herself as a doctor. Well… it just meant she likely wouldn’t even have time to think about being lonely.

At least her parents were close by and they could come to visit her.

Her travels did increase her horizons though and she would never forget it or the people who she experienced it with. Even the guards had grown on her. It was a sense of freedom that, as a prince’s wife, she never would have gotten. So, in a way, she lost something precious, but she gained something precious as well.

With that thought, Shen Jiu bid her friends a bittersweet farewell. They all promised to write to each other but it would not be the same. 

Stepping into her humble abode, she freshened up after the journey and soon fell deeply asleep.

Chapter Text

On her first official day at Bai Zhan, she saw Liu Qingge.

At that time, Deputy General Feng, who was in charge of the military doctors, was giving a lecture to the new recruits. Liu Qingge happened to pass by, and Shen Jiu playfully waved at him.

To her surprise however, he didn't seem shocked to see her. He merely glanced at her and then walked away as if nothing had happened. In his silver armor, he did indeed look quite like the cold-faced little King Yan he was rumored to be.

She thought perhaps he was in too much of a hurry and didn't recognise her. So that evening, when she finished her duties, though the sky was getting dark already, she made a special trip to his tent, only to be stopped by his personal guards outside.

"Who are you to dare trespass into the general's camp at night!"

She quickly explained, "I'm a military doctor. I want to..."

"What does a doctor want here?"

A cold voice came from inside the tent. Liu Qingge then lifted the curtain and came out.

"Hey, Liu Qingge, it's me..."

"Who are you? I don't know you."

"…"

Liu Qingge didn't recognise her? Her? Oh please!

It turned out that men were all ungrateful scoundrels.

Thankfully, they hadn't developed any further relationship back then, or she'd probably have to break off an engagement again! She really dodged another arrow. She would actually have to talk to her father about succeeding him as his heiress. She hadn’t brought it up to him because… well, because when she had first thought about it it was before she’d met Liu Qingge. After the time they spent together in Qian Cao, though she hadn’t been confident and secure enough to give her him her heart entirely just yet, she didn’t want to jump the gun when it came to inheriting her father’s title and responsibilities, just in case Liu Qingge did eventually manage to convince her of his sincerity and made her change her mind about getting into another relationship.

But it seems like she needn’t have worried about that.

She returned to her tent fuming.

“My Lady, what happened?” Ning YingYing, who was preparing her meal, asked when she saw her face, “I thought you went to find General Liu?”

“General Who?” Shen Jiu snarked.

YingYing could tell something had happened but she didn’t push her mistress. If Shen Jiu wanted to talk she would. She just silently kept her company until it was time for bed.
Shen Jiu decided she would focus on being a military doctor. Who needed a man anyway? They were all disappointments.

Yue Yuan was right to find herself a woman. Unfortunately Shen Jiu didn’t swing that way herself or she’d probably find a girl too. She’d heard the Xian Shu Lord’s daughter, Qi Qingqi, was a catch. She had only briefly met Qi Qingqi’s younger brother, Qi Rong, when they passed through Xian Shu, and he was pretty enough. If his sister looked anything like him, it wouldn’t be hard to like her. And Shen Jiu knew she herself was beautiful, so it wouldn’t be a loss to be with her. She could totally find a woman!

In Shen Jiu’s experience, women were always more reliable than men. If you could choose to like them instead, you should in her opinion! Unfortunately it was not a choice.

In her sleep that night she dreamt that she was pouring out her woes to Yue Yuan, and rebuking her for getting Shen Jiu’s hopes up.

“Yuan-er y..y..ou liar,” she hiccuped. Why was she crying? She hadn’t been crying before, she was just angry! (Dream Jiu was more honest about her feelings).

“What did I lie about?” Yue Yuan said, petting Shen Jiu’s hair soothingly.

“He isn’t honest or honorable. He’s a dirty lying snake!” she said, crying some more into Yuan-er’s shoulder.

“Hey… snakes are innocent! Don’t compare that man to my sweetie-pies.”

“Zhu Zhi? Where did you come from?” She hadn’t thought of Yue Qingyuan’s personal servant in a long time. Why was she dreaming of him now?

“Wherever snakes are being defamed, you will find me.”

Huh.

“Get out of My Lady’s dream,” said Luo Binghe, who picked Zhu Zhi up by the scruff of his neck and just threw him away. He flew into the distance as a steadily smaller pinprick of light until he disappeared.

“It’s all good now My Lady, proceed.”

“Thank you Binghe.”

Wait. Binghe?!

Where did he come from?

Dream Jiu was too confused to continue crying.

When Shen Jiu woke up the next day, she still felt lingering confusion.

—--------

Upon arriving at the camp, she had realised that her previous medical skills were far from adequate; there was so much more to learn.
She followed the most experienced doctor, Dr. Mu. He was the very same Mu Qingfang she had initially gone to Qian Cao to seek out in the first place. Lord Mu Tianchi had already left by the time she arrived, missing his wife Lady Li Yu, and hurrying back home as soon as the influx of patients dwindled, so she couldn’t pass on her parents’ regards to Mu Qing (who she had told them took the time to help her while she was in Qian Cao). She would just have to ask Mu Qingfang to write to his brother instead.
She found Mu Qingfang to be a pleasant instructor, but he was as diligent as he was mild-mannered and despite his temperament, he kept her fully occupied as she still had a long way to go in terms of her skills if she wanted to catch up to him.

She was busy from dawn to dusk, leaving her no time to think about that ungrateful Liu Qingge.

Like her, there was another eager learner, a young doctor named Gongyi Xiao. He was gentle and courteous, very considerate.

One day, they were passionately discussing whether horizontal or vertical cuts were better for bone scraping to remove toxins. Just as they were in the thick of it, a cold, resentful voice suddenly interrupted from behind, "What are you two doing?"

Both Gongyi Xiao and Shen Jiu were startled. At that moment, their hands had been demonstrating different techniques, and his right hand was just over her left hand when they stopped.

Liu Qingge slightly leaned over behind her, staring intently at their intertwined hands. His gaze was icy, even more intimidating than when he first grabbed her neck.

Gongyi Xiao, with flushed ears, quickly moved his hand away.

"General, I was just discussing with Miss Shen about the techniques for bone scraping to remove toxins."

Liu Qingge raised an eyebrow and, with a hint of menace, said, "Miss Shen? In the military camp, you must use official titles. Dr. Gongyi, I shouldn't have to remind you of this, right?"

"…"

Madman.

Long after he left, Dr. Gongyi Xiao was still in a daze. He clutched his right hand, which had almost been frozen by that icy gaze, and dumbly said,"Miss… Dr. Shen, do you and Young General Liu have some… past?"

She snorted,"No, I don't know him at all."

Chapter Text

Liu Qingge was not only ungrateful but also repaid kindness with enmity. In the dead of night, his personal guard came to Shen Jiu’s tent and woke her up.

"Dr. Shen, the General's old injury has flared up. Please come and take a look."

She was quite puzzled, "But I'm not on duty tonight."

"This is a military order."

"…"

‘Fine, your camp, your rules,’ she thought furiously.

She got dressed, grabbed her medicine box, and went to Liu Qingge's tent. He was leisurely sitting on his bed, wearing only a thin layer of white inner clothes, with his collar slightly open, revealing glimpses of his bronzed skin.

She sighed wistfully. Alas, he was no longer that shy young man wrapped in clothes, saying that men and women should not touch each other.

"General, where is the old injury acting up?"

Liu Qingge stared at her, his gaze especially poignant in the flickering candlelight,"My heart."

Her hand paused as she opened the medicine box. She had a good idea of what kind of childish game he was playing.

"Your heart? That would require removing your clothes, and since men and women shouldn't touch each other, you'd better find someone else, General."

She picked up her medicine box to leave, but Liu Qingge, in a panic, jumped off the bed and blocked her way.

“Shen Qing Qiu!"

She raised an eyebrow and looked at him mockingly.

"Don't call me that, General. We are strangers. Please use my official title and address me as Dr. Shen."

"…"

Liu Qingge's momentum suddenly weakened, and he slumped in front of her, saying, "I'm sorry, I was wrong... I was… I was just angry..."

"Angry about what?"

He looked at her accusingly, "When I said I was leaving, you didn't seem sad at all!"

"…"

"Why should I be sad? It's only been less than three months, and here we are meeting again."

"But you didn't tell me you were coming to be a military doctor!"

"…"

At that time...

At that time, she thought since he was stationed in Bai Zhan, it wouldn't be hard to find him. She was protecting her heart because she’d thought, well, if she came to Bai Zhan to visit and he no longer felt anything after a few months, she’d know she was right to not acknowledge the unspoken… thing.. between them.

When she arrived, not for a visit but rather as a military doctor, and was soundly rejected by him, she figured she was right to wait. For it was only a few short months later and he was already pretending not to know her.

But she seemed to forget that he had never known her full identity.

He didn't know where she came from or where she was going. He only knew that she was a female traveling doctor named Shen Qingqiu. She knew how to find him, but he had no idea where to look for her. And how could he have known that she had any intention at all of coming to look for him, especially after her less than forthcoming farewell sentiments?

Thinking about this, she felt a bit guilty. If the tables were turned she would have undoubtedly been hurt, thinking herself played with and abandoned. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so vague with you back then. I just truly... didn’t think.”

His face finally softened.

“Well for once you’re the one not thinking,” he teased.

She had once teased him, saying he was all brawn and no brain, and asked him if he had any thoughts in his head other than fighting. He had scowled and looked away, a clear pout forming on his face again.

She still found it adorable.

She tapped him for the comment, lightly she thought, but he winced. 

As it turned out, Liu Qingge calling her over wasn't entirely without reason. His old wound had indeed flared up.

She pushed him back onto the bed, seeing that the wound on his chest was already seeping blood.

"If you're really hurt, why didn't you say so earlier!?" she scolded.

He said somewhat aggrievedly, "You were the one who ran away first, didn't you?"

"…"

Alright, it was indeed Shen Jiu who left first, but this was ultimately his fault for having a history of bad behavior.

Fortunately, the wound wasn't too severely reopened. Applying some hemostatic medicine would suffice.

She dipped her fingers in the hemostatic powder and carefully applied it to his wound. Shen Jiu applied the medicine meticulously and gently, fearing that she’d hurt him, so she took extra care. 

She didn't notice that he was already tensed up.

As she continued, a bead of sweat rolled down his chin and landed on her cheek.

She looked up in confusion.

"Are you feeling hot?"

Although his face was flushed, he stubbornly denied it.

"No."

Then, with a pained expression, he added, "But... could you hurry up a bit?"

"…"

She was taking her time to avoid causing him pain. He didn't appreciate it?!

Fine!

She quickly finished applying the medicine. Some powder had gotten onto the uninjured skin, so she leaned in to blow it off, which elicited a restrained groan from Liu Qingge.

"Ugh—"

She quickly looked up. "What? Does it hurt a lot?"

He avoided her gaze and, in a hoarse voice, said, "It's fine. You can go back now. I'll handle the rest myself."

"How can you bandage a chest wound by yourself?"

His voice sounded like he was about to break down, "I can do it! Just go, please!"

Perplexed, she grabbed her medicine box and sleepily made her way back to her own tent.

Liu Qingge was so temperamental!

Chapter Text

After Shen Qingqiu left, Liu Qingge called in his personal guard, Yang Yixuan.

Yang Yixuan, very perceptive, picked up the gauze to help him bandage the wound, but Liu Qingge waved him off.

"Don't bother bandaging it. It'll just get wet soon. Bring me a bucket of cold water instead."

Yang Yixuan looked at him strangely.

"General, it's so late, and you still have an injury. You shouldn't be taking a cold bath."

Liu Qingge, looking utterly hopeless, sighed,"Taking a cold shower might cause my old injuries to flare up again, but if I don't, your general here might just drop dead. Which do you think I should choose?"

Yang Yixuan, "…"

He didn't quite understand, but it sounded serious, so he decided to follow orders.

Liu Qingge soaked in cold water for half an hour that night, finally quelling the shameful changes in his body and the burning desire in his heart.

He exhaled deeply, then smiled bitterly. He had called her over, but in the end, he was the one who suffered.

When her breath brushed against him, for the first time in his life, Young General Liu was utterly defeated.

It seemed from now on... he was going to be completely under her control.

—-------

Liu Qingge had become increasingly brazen lately, even going so far as to snatch Shen Jiu’s mandarin duck jade pendant.

The incident started when she was bandaging him, and her pendant fell off.

He picked it up and examined it closely before shamelessly claiming, "It's a pair, give me one."

"…"

She was silent for a moment before truthfully replying, "I gave this pendant to someone else before."

He looked at her in shock. "Didn't you say the engagement was called off?"

"It was called off…"

She stopped mid-sentence, suddenly realising."How do you know?!" She didn’t tell him that. 

Liu Qingge relaxed upon confirming the broken engagement and then held the pendant, "My father and Imperial Censor Shen were quite the adversaries in court during their younger years. Before you arrived at Bai Zhan, your father’s letter had already reached us. He mentioned his daughter would be coming as a military doctor and asked my father to take care of you. Shen Jiu, courtesy name Qingqiu..."

He squinted his eyes. "Young Divine Doctor Shen, why didn't you tell me you were Uncle Shen's daughter when you saved me? It would have saved a lot of confusion."

She… genuinely didn't know he knew her family.

When Old General Liu came to guard Bai Zhan with his family, she was already on the streets at that time and couldn't remember much about even her own family.

Moreover, her father was an imperial censor at that time, overseeing court inspections for the old Emperor of the last dynasty. He had countless "adversaries" in the court, according to the stories he told Shen Jiu when they had been reunited, and she couldn’t differentiate who was who. Her father angered many with his cutting words, though it didn’t mean they were necessarily on bad terms. Just like how he became an Imperial Advisor to the current Emperor and was later punished to live in Bailu county for angering the Emperor with his blunt words, but they weren’t estranged despite this. Then of course Shen Jiu had very little interaction with her parents at all and could hear no more stories of “adversaries” or friends of her father. 

But she suddenly realised something from Liu Qingge’s words.

"So, when you first saw me and acted so calm, it was because you already knew I was coming?"

"Yes, I was still mad at you then and didn't want to see you. But in the end, I couldn't resist and went to the military medical camp."

Shen Jiu: "…"

This man… 

Speaking of being unable to resist… Shen Jiu was unable to resist a question that had been nagging at her for a while.

“By the way, how did you, Young Master Propriety himself, manage to sit on the bed that night with your shirt open and deliver that smooth line about your heart being injured? I would have never expected it of you! Remember how you reacted the first time I tried to bandage your chest? Did you get possessed that night?”

Liu Qingge reddened and he mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

“I don’t speak gibberish, speak up!” Shen Jiu ordered.

“I wrote to Mingyan when you started ignoring me back. She gave me some advice… She sent some of her books for reference. I was just trying to emulate the attitude of those men. They always got happy endings with their wives even if their wives were mad at them for screwing up.”

“Your little sister gave you the idea to act like a suave wife-chasing-crematorium male lead?”

He nodded. 

“And you actually took that advice…”

Liu Qingge’s face was probably hot enough to cook an egg as he shamefacedly admitted that he really did.

“And do you think it worked?” Shen Jiu said, raising an eyebrow.

Liu Qingge thought back to that embarrassing night. Shen Jiu actually hadn’t fallen for his ‘moves’. She got angry with him and was intent on leaving right away. She only actually listened to him when he was honest with her and not trying to put on an ‘act’, because even if he was being genuine with his words at the time, it wasn’t entirely in character for him.

He shook his head.

“So if you know that that doesn’t work, what do you plan to do in the future if you screw up again?” 

Shen Jiu was very curious. After all, she hadn’t expected that to be the reason why Liu Qingge had been acting out of character. Though she couldn’t say she was unhappy with the glimpse of his sun-bronzed skin through the intentional gap he left in his shirt.

He thought about it and tried to phrase things properly, “I’ll… just be honest with you about how I feel and what I did?” Shen Jiu preferred straightforward words as far as he could tell.

Hmm.

“Good boy,” Shen Jiu said smirking, “You can still be taught!” 

“Hey! I’m not that dumb,” he protested, sulking at her teasing.

She ruffled his hair and then laughed.

What a pretty picture he made with his pouty face and tousled hair. She was going to enjoy teasing him forever!

Chapter Text

Lately, Liu Qingge had been pestering Shen Jiu to formalise their relationship. He also insisted she just call him by his name, Qingge, instead of his title or entire name.

She was exasperated by his persistence

"Didn't I already give you the mandarin duck jade pendant? What more do you want to establish our relationship?"

He said seriously, "Tokens are one thing, but we need a proper engagement contract to make it official."

An engagement contract...

That needed to be written by their parents.

But he reminded her of something, her engagement contract with Yue Qingyuan... might still be in the palace!

Liu Qingge saw this as a significant issue, while Shen Jiu waved it off nonchalantly.

"No worries, Yue Qingyuan was eager to break off the engagement. They probably just forgot to return it. I'll ask for it back later."

Liu Qingge, however, was very serious. "I think you're being overly optimistic. I wouldn't let go of you so easily, so how could he?"

Amused by his grave expression, she reached out and scratched his chin.

"Everyone has their preferences. Don't worry, Yue Qingyuan doesn't like me."

He squinted his eyes like a big cat enjoying the scratch but suddenly opened them wide.

"Wait, his name is Yue Qing yuan, and I'm Liu Qing ge… Shen Qingqiu! Do you have a peculiar preference for names with 'Qing' in them?!"

"…"

Crazy!

She stood on tiptoe and gave him a light smack on the head.

"What are you thinking about all day? Can't you be normal for more than a minute?!"

—----

Shen Jiu stayed at the Bai Zhan military camp for an entire year and gained a lot.

Firstly, her medical skills greatly improved, and she was highly praised in the camp. Secondly, her relationship with Liu Qingge also became more stable. They had gotten to know each other pretty well and were more secure in their feelings.

However, because her marriage contract with Yue Qingyuan had not yet been annulled, he was still somewhat jealous.

But fortunately an opportunity arose to help solve this problem!

Her father had been serving in Bailu County for three terms, a total of nine years, with outstanding achievements.

Additionally, the Emperor, who had been somewhat isolated in the court with his unchallenged authority, finally remembered that his old friend, the Lord of Qing Jing,  was known for his courage to boldly speak the truth (which was why he was sent away in the first place), and decided to recall him to the capital. The Emperor had apparently been getting tired of the yes-men and was ready to have an actual advisor again.

At the same time, Old General Liu was also ordered to return to the capital to report on his duties. This was a great opportunity to retrieve her marriage contract with Yue Qingyuan and formalise her engagement with Liu Qingge.

So, they would each accompany their respective fathers and embark on the journey back to the capital.

There were many things to arrange in the camp, so she left a bit earlier than Liu Qingge.

When Shen Jiu was about to leave, he clung to her, reluctant to let go, even wanting to leave with her under the guise of "escorting Uncle Shen's family."

Unfortunately, General Liu knew his son all too well and rolled his eyes.

"Escort Uncle Shen? Is that really escorting? Your intentions are clearly elsewhere!"

The relationship between Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu was no longer a secret. Half of the Bai Zhan military camp knew they were getting engaged and that both of their families were pleased with the arrangement. Liu Qingge’s parents had thought their single-minded battle-hungry son would never be able to settle down and find a partner (even if they arranged a wife, Liu Qingge was the stubborn type, he would marry her and then not bother with her, so why subject a poor girl to be lonely all her marriage?), thus they were incredibly happy he finally wanted to marry, and he chose a good girl at that. Shen Jiu’s parents were just happy that the heartbreak she suffered was not for naught; she now had a man who cherished her deeply. And as a bonus she would not be stuck in the palace as a prince’s wife. Their daughter would have a lot more freedom with Liu Qingge.

And it was actually endearing how enamored he was with Shen Jiu. Her parents wouldn’t have objected to him ‘escorting’ them, but this trip to the capital was an official duty. The emperor's decree specifically mentioned Liu Qingge's name, so it would be inappropriate for him not to accompany the main Bai Zhan group.

He had to accept this reality, albeit reluctantly.

On the day Shen Jiu’s parents arrived at Bai Zhan to pick her up, they chatted with General Liu in the main tent, while Liu Qingge went to Shen Jiu’s tent to help her pack her belongings.

As he busily packed, he kept reminding her,"I've packed all your usual medicines for you. They're in the yellow bundle in the second carriage. The climate in the capital is colder, so take a few more warm clothes. I've instructed the drivers and guards your father brought. The terrain in Bai Zhan is complicated. When you go back, don't take the Zhao Hua Road; take the Ku Xing Road instead…"

Shen Jiu sat calmly at the table, resting her chin on her hand, watching him bustle around her tent and chatter non-stop. Unconsciously, she smiled with her eyes curved.

"Liu Qingge."

"Yes? What's the matter?"

He turned back to look at her in confusion, and she shook her head.

"Nothing, I just wanted to call you."

I just wanted to call you and hear your response, as it made me feel particularly at ease.

Thinking about not being able to see you for a long time makes my heart feel like a piece is missing, leaving an empty, unsettled feeling.

Not even having left yet, she was already starting to miss him.

So, this was what it felt like to truly like someone.

Her love for Yue Qi had been real, but it had also been coloured by gratitude and familiarity. Plus he was a prince and she always felt like she had to work hard to prove her worth or he might just decide that she wasn’t enough and he needed to bring in another woman. 

It wasn’t like ordinary men couldn’t have another wife or lover but it was very rare that anyone outside the imperial family in this age had more than one spouse. The Emperor wouldn’t look kindly on the average man who chose to do this anyway as as time had passed this was seen more and more as a privilege of the imperial family rather than something just anyone could do, and very few would risk pissing off the Emperor for something like this.

In fact, Yue Qingyuan had been doing her a kindness by breaking their engagement rather than marrying her for duty and then bringing in someone that he loved for real while letting Shen Jiu just languish on the side. This was one of the reasons why she simply agreed to the broken engagement even though the Emperor was willing to make him marry her. She didn’t want to end up in that position. 

And now? Now she was glad that she hadn’t accepted the offer to reinstate it. If she had, she would have never had the opportunity to marry Liu Qingge. 

She would have never known what it was like to truly be liked.

For the first time, the one she loved, loved her.

And she was very happy.

Chapter Text

As Liu Qingge tied up the last bundle, Shen Jiu handed him a cup of tea and smiled.

"Thank you for your hard work, Young General Liu."

He took a sip to soothe his throat from her hand, then reached out and pinched her cheek, dissatisfied.

"Shen Qingqiu, I've been busy all this time. Don't you have anything you want to say to me?"

"…"

What should she say?

With departure imminent, it seemed like everything and nothing needed to be said.

In the silence, he suddenly flared up, "You heartless girl, don't tell me you're just going to tell me to eat well and not be picky again? Let me tell you, Shen Qingqiu..."

His voice abruptly stopped.

Because, on a sudden impulse, she stood on tiptoe and planted a light kiss on his cheek.

Everything around them seemed to pause with that gentle touch. 

Watching his dumbfounded expression and the growing redness of his ears, she said seriously, “Liu Qingge, I'll be waiting for you in Qiong Ding."

—------

They had been back in the capital for only a day, and their old residence wasn't even properly settled yet when they received a basketful of invitations. Some were from her father's old colleagues, others from her mother's close friends.

Father declined all but the one from the imperial family.

"Though you and Qingyuan weren't destined to be together, the imperial family took care of you for several years. We must remember this kindness and we should all thank them properly when we arrive," her mother said. Even though the Empress was her friend, there was no obligation upon her to help them out, but she did, and she even treated Shen Jiu like her own.

But before they could prepare gifts and visit the palace, the Emperor unexpectedly brought the Empress, Yue Yuan, and Shang Qinghua (who was coincidentally in Qiong Ding visiting Yue Yuan at the same time Shen Jiu was due back) for a visit.

Her father wanted to express his gratitude but was stopped by the Emperor.

"When I was falsely accused and imprisoned thanks to my er-ge back then, if not for Lord Shen's righteous words stopping my father from removing me from succession, I wouldn't be where I am today. Lord Shen, you even later went on to save my life during those tumultuous times after my Imperial Father’s death. This is merely repaying a favor; how can I accept thanks?"

Her father shook his head and said,"Back then, as the chief inspector, it was my duty to speak out. It wasn't a personal favor."

While the elders chatted, Yue Yuan sat beside her, holding her hand and explaining,"Jiu-jie, Qi-ge has been very busy with urgent tasks recently. He couldn't come, but he'll visit you alone later." 

He obviously didn't want to see her. Understandable. And using work as an excuse was a perfectly polite explanation. She expressed her understanding.

"It’s fine. He is busy with official duties now; there’s no need for him to come specially."

Yue Yuan waved her hand. 

"I'm not just being polite. He's genuinely tied up.”

Yue Yuan knew that Shen Jiu wasn’t in love with Yue Qingyuan anymore, but she thought that Shen Jiu would feel hurt still at the thought that her friend was just avoiding her.

“If Father hadn't specifically assigned him to this task some time back, he would have flown over long ago to greet you."

She then leaned in and whispered in Shen Jiu’s ear, "To tell you the truth, over the past year that you were in Bai Zhan, the ones who talked about you the most were my mother and me. But I think my brother missed you the most. Every time you wrote a letter, he was the first to read it. Zhu Zhi even said that when he gets drunk, he often calls your name."

She leaned back in her chair, sighing like an old sage despite her young age, "Alas, men are like that. They only cherish what they have after losing it."

Shen Jiu laughed and knocked on her head.

"Stop reading those dogblood romance books that Qinghua likes to write. You're too young to think about such things." Though Yue Yuan wasn’t wrong at all.

Shang Qinghua laughingly protested, “How could she be too young? Don’t you know that Yuan-er and I—mmph."

Her sudden words and loud laugh had drawn the attention of the elders and Yue Yuan quickly grabbed a piece of cake and stuffed it into her mouth.

Then she looked up at the elders with an awkward smile.

"Qinghua seems a bit hungry. How about we have a meal together?" Shen Jiu said, to break the awkwardness that had descended.

Qinghua pouted at the glare Yue Yuan surreptitiously sent her. She was only going to say that they’d both written some of those books together! She wasn’t stupid enough to say… other things in front of the Emperor and Empress, hmph! It was already difficult for them to accept that their only princess, Yue Yuan, was in love and wanted to get married and leave them instead of bringing her bride into the imperial family to live in the palace. 

As for Shen Jiu, she believed that Empress Yue and Yue Yuan definitely missed her. 

And Yue Qingyuan? Maybe he did miss her. Even though he didn't love her, they lived under the same roof for several years, and before that they lived under no roof together too, so there must be some sibling bond at the very least.

But that was different from love.

—------

The marching speed of the Bai Zhan procession was indeed quite fast. Shen Jiu had been back in the capital for only five days when the Liu family army arrived in Qiong Ding, even though they had set out so much later than her family.

That day, Yue Yuan rented a private room in a teahouse again and dragged Shen Jiu out to watch the commotion.

Because the Emperor had only called them for a debriefing, the Bai Zhan Lord only brought a thousand soldiers, but walking through the streets of Qiong Ding, it still looked quite grand.

Border heroes are always particularly respected, and these were all young, handsome soldiers, so the girls of Qiong Ding went crazy again, creating a scene no less impressive than the parade for the top scholar, Prince Yue Qingyuan, a few years prior.

Liu Qingge, in his silver helmet, rode a white horse at the front, becoming the primary target for sachets and handkerchiefs.

Shen Jiu watched his approaching silver figure, tall and stern, seemingly indifferent to the bustling crowd around him. No wonder he was called the "cold-faced little King Yan."

For the first time, she clearly realised that he was the young general who once single-handedly pursued the enemy for a thousand miles, striking fear into the hearts of the enemy, earning him another name that people also liked to call him: The Bai Zhan War god.

But Shen Jiu rarely saw this side of him.

Perhaps her gaze was too intense. He suddenly seemed to sense it and looked up. Unprepared, his familiar handsome face crashed into her view.

For some reason, an impulse struck her and she untied the sachet from her waist and threw it down.

Although he was still some distance away, and the sachet wouldn't hit him, at that moment, she just wanted to do it.

Unexpectedly, Liu Qingge saw her throw the sachet, and after a moment of surprise, he spurred his horse and leaped, precisely identifying the herbal scent amidst all the floral fragrances, catching it in his hand before landing back on his horse.

The entire motion was fluid and graceful, earning cheers from the crowd.

Amidst the cheers, he held up the sachet and gave her a triumphant smile. Her heart skipped a beat.

Amidst all the waving red sleeves, the young general had caught only her sachet, smiling like spring thawing ice and snow.

Shen Jiu returned home, her face inexplicably warm. She barely ate a few bites before retreating to her courtyard.

After catching the sachet, he had mouthed, "Wait for me tonight."

So after dinner, she did nothing but wait for him in the courtyard. When he hadn't shown up by the time the hour of Xu arrived, she turned her anticipation into anger and stormed off to the Liu residence.

The steward at the Liu residence said there was a welcoming banquet at Xuan Su Tavern, so she stormed off there too.

She hadn't expected to see Yue Qingyuan first at Xuan Su Tavern.

At that moment, he was drunk, leaning against a tree trunk in the yard and vomiting. She stopped in her tracks, and her first reaction was...

If Yue Qingyuan, a host and a civil official, was this drunk, how much more must Liu Qingge, the guest of honor, have drunk!

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She was about to head inside when someone grabbed her wrist. Yue Qingyuan, eyes red from vomiting, looked at her.

"Xiao-Jiu… you finally came again…"

"…"

It's been years since I last saw you. This "again" is quite inappropriate.

"Prince Yue, you're drunk."

He was stunned by her words, his eyes reddening even more.

"What did you call me…?"

Upon reflection, "Prince Yue" did seem too formal. Much more formal than the ‘Qi-ge’ she called him since they were young. Given the imperial family’s years of care for her, and his care for her in their early years, calling him brother again wouldn't be too much, even if she could never comfortably call him ‘Qi-ge’ again.

So she pried his hand open, hastily performed a bow, and said,"Hello, brother. Goodbye, brother." 

Then she rushed into the private room and grabbed the disobedient Liu Qingge by the ear amidst the wine jars.

"Liu Qingge! I told you not to drink because your wound hasn't healed. Why are you ignoring the doctor's orders again!"

Chapter Text

The welcoming banquet was mainly for the Liu family army from Bai Zhan, most of whom Shen Jiu knew.

Before setting off, they had repelled an enemy attack, and many were injured. It had been less than two months since then, so it was impossible for them to have fully recovered.

As a military doctor, she hated patients who didn't follow medical advice.

"Deputy General Feng, your arm doesn't hurt anymore, right? Captain Ji, that arrow wound wasn't deep enough, huh? You want it to fester more? And you, Liu Rong, has the cut on your back healed enough for you to drink?"

With her roar, most of the Liu family soldiers sheepishly put down their wine cups.

Her anger hadn't subsided, so she turned to the civil officials present.

"And you all, it's fine to have a welcoming banquet, but why the alcohol? Don't you know they have injuries and can't drink much? Can you think about the military doctor's feelings?"

Under her fiery assault, the others scattered like birds and beasts, leaving only Shen Jiu and a drunken Liu Qingge in the room.

He had drunk quite a bit and was already in a half-drunken state, just hugging her arm and giggling foolishly, unable to respond to scolding or understand it. 

“Hehe, wife you’re here,” he smiled at her, and then, as if all he needed was to see her face before the night was over, he nuzzled her and passed out. 

“Who’s your wife huh?!” she mumbled. But her cheeks were hot. 

With no other option, she borrowed the kitchen at Xuan Su Tavern and made a bowl of hangover soup to sober him up.

When she returned with the soup, she was surprised to find Yue Qingyuan still in the courtyard.

He seemed much more sober after vomiting but was still not entirely comfortable, as his gaze was fixed on the hangover soup in her hands.

It was the Shen family's unique hangover remedy; everyone praised it.

She sympathetically said,"There's more in the kitchen, Brother. Help yourself to a bowl."

He opened his mouth, seeming to want to say something, but before he could, Liu Qingge, inside the room, groaned and called out for her.

“Qingqiu? Wh.. where did Q.qingqiu go?” he slurred, waking up and realising that she was no longer in the room, “Qingqiu~ my wife~ come back…” 

She quickly responded and went in to give him the soup, not noticing Yue Qingyuan's face turning increasingly pale behind her.

By the time Zhu Zhi arrived to escort Yue Qingyuan back to the residence, the lively banquet had already ended, leaving his young master sitting alone on the steps, gazing at the moon.

In the moonlight, his red official robes looked inexplicably lonely and desolate.

Yue Qingyuan, the seventh prince and youngest grand academician who had achieved early success and navigated the political scene of the palace with ease, now resembled a bewildered child.

"Zhu Zhi, I saw her, but it seems… she doesn't want me anymore."

Upon receiving the news that the Shen  family was returning to the capital, he had been excited for a long time. He had prepared gifts early, ready to apologise and renew their engagement.

Unfortunately, just before the Shen family arrived in the capital, his father summoned him to court, assigning him the responsibility of overseeing the welcoming ceremony for the Bai Zhan garrison along with the Ministry of Rites 

The proposal had to be temporarily postponed.

Yes, he had planned to propose.

In fact, his affection for Shen Jiu had long been evident. From the moment she was lying on the ground in that brothel, unconscious and looking like a pitiful little doll about to be sold and to be played around with by cruel people at their whim, he had paid special attention to her. He had saved her and they lived together, on the streets yes, but happy to be together. 

Shen Jiu had always been protective of him. Whenever he was kind to the other street kids she would pout and scold him for giving away their meagre possessions to others. But he knew that she was actually worried about him not having enough to eat himself etc. It was her way of looking out for him the way he looked out for her. She was also very possessive. He was her Qi-ge! She never liked it when the other children on the streets called him that. And though he never protested when they did, he did feel a bit pleased whenever she would scold them for it. 

He liked Shen Jiu claiming him as hers.

Even when Shen Jiu was a bit meaner than called for, he only mildly told her off, lips twitching in an effort to hold back his smile.

When they were saved from the slavers, he was unwilling to part with her. Partially because she did help him out and it would be ungrateful in his eyes to let her suffer in some orphanage when he was going to be a prince and would be able to take care of her and make sure nobody mistreated her… and partially because he couldn’t see himself living without Xiao-Jiu.

He’d thought that their relationship would get even better when they were happy and well fed and safe and not out on the streets begging for scraps of food and worrying about dying early or being sold.

And in a way, he was right. Their first few weeks in the palace took some getting used to but they stuck together and helped each other like they did on the streets. 

Things were going so well. 

Then he started learning about propriety etc. and even though his grandfather’s and father’s dynasty weren’t as overly restrictive and controlling as it had been in the past, he was still a prince and was expected to comport himself as such. Especially when it was found out that Shen Jiu was not an orphan but rather the Lord of Qing Jing’s beloved, but missing, daughter.

Shen Jiu wasn’t going to be living in the palace anymore but rather in her father’s residence. He would still see her everyday because she started receiving lessons with Yuan-er, his baby sister, but it wasn’t like before when they lived together.

Speaking of which, he had a sister! Not just a younger sister but an older brother and 5 older half brothers. It definitely took some getting used to.

Yue Qi tried his best to be a good brother to Yue Yuan. They were the closest in age out of the siblings so they spent the most time together. He also ended up treating Xiao-Jiu the way he did Yue Yuan, starting to see her like his younger sister and feeling responsible for her in the way a big brother would feel for his little sister. Or, so he thought anyway. It was just that Yue Yuan and Shen Jiu also spent a lot of time together so he started associating them almost as one. 

The problem was that he forgot that despite being a lord’s daughter now, Shen Jiu was still a girl who lived on the streets for years. She didn’t need to be treated like a little princess. He convinced himself he was doing it for her own good, but distancing himself from her and acting only like a good brother was ignoring that she didn’t need him to do that. 

Then his father got angry with the Lord of Qing Jing for speaking too critically about one of his ideas and he sent him to live in Bailu county as punishment. Their parents decided to formally betroth Shen Jiu and Yue Qi so that Shen Jiu could rightfully stay in Qiong Ding at the palace with them instead of going to Bailu.

His father had not consulted him about this matter but had instead made the decision directly, "Lord Shen once saved our Yue family by saving me. Now, we should repay this kindness."

His father had never understood how to consult others. Making him study, preparing him for the imperial exams, and arranging his engagement were all decided unilaterally.

He hated this autocratic behavior, which made him resent the engagement as well. Yue Qi couldn’t deny that it chafed having his life decided for him like that. (For a few moments he even missed the freedom before he was found, though he wasn’t stupid enough to wish to be back there). He was already a prince with a rigid schedule and heavy expectations (though not as much as his older brothers) and now even his choice of wife was taken away from him. He knew it wasn’t Shen Jiu’s fault, and although he was always happy to see Shen Jiu, he started keeping his distance from her. 

It didn’t help that suddenly she was trying to act like a good wife towards him because it meant she fully accepted the engagement and it kept reminding him that one day they would have to be married. Despite being a young girl living under someone else's roof, she carried herself with dignity and composure and she was showing that she took their engagement seriously.

But Yue Qi couldn’t accept it even though his relationship with Shen Jiu was good and they were once very close.

It was as if accepting the engagement would mean submitting to his father once again.

Years passed quietly, and Shen Jiu came of age. The imperial family held a coming-of-age ceremony for her, and her parents from Bailu county sent a courtesy name, Qingqiu, and a jar of Emperor’s Smile.

Everyone began to subtly suggest that she had grown up and they could get married.

Perhaps influenced by these hints, he started dreaming about her frequently. The dreams were always filled with springtime romance, things he couldn't speak of to others.

Seeing her during the day, hearing her voice, or accidentally touching her fingertips would evoke strange impulses.

His throat would feel dry and parched, an intense thirst to… bite her.

Yue Qingyuan was startled by his own thoughts. He had never felt like this towards anyone before. He knew of it in theory of course, the other young men would sometimes talk about things like this, but he hadn’t ever experienced it and he never considered himself to be particularly lustful. In fact, seeing how some lustful men behaved when they were interested in a woman’s appearance, he was kind of upset that he was seemingly becoming just like them. Thinking of innocent Shen Jiu in this way left him feeling ashamed. A shy young man's instinctive reaction to this unknown shameful emotion was to avoid it, so he distanced himself from her even more.

On the day his father Emperor appointed him as the top scholar, he finally felt confident enough to defy him. After all, with this achievement, he knew he would be able to work in the government even if his father decided to strip him of his title as prince for defying him. He could take away the top scholar title too but given that Yue Qingyuan had earned that on his own, it would reflect poorly on the Emperor to do so. Even more so that he was the youngest ever top scholar.

He broke off the engagement at once.

He simply didn't want to be manipulated by his father, but he never intended for Shen Jiu to leave. He never expected that it would hit her so hard, especially since it was merely an arranged marriage. Yes she said she liked him, but he didn’t think she truly liked him as a man but more as someone she was comfortable with. Surely they were both now free to pursue people they liked rather than a forced relationship. They could just go back to being friends like they had been for years before. 

But he hadn’t realised that familiarity and comfort was not a bad thing at all. That all it meant was that they already had a solid foundation. That it was a good thing to start a romantic relationship with a foundation of friendship already established because it meant they would know each other well and would be more inclined to treat each other well too. That you should be friends with your partner and enjoy being around them.

Alas, Yue Qingyuan had never been in a romantic relationship and neither had he had any such feelings for anyone (other than dreaming of Shen Jiu), and as such, he just didn’t recognise that the way he felt for her wasn’t exactly like his feelings towards Yue Yuan. Which already showed that he didn’t see her as merely a little sister but as more than that.

During the years she was gone, there was no sweet hangover soup when he drank too much, no thoughtful snacks when he stayed up late reading, no delicious medicinal meals when he was ill. There wasn’t anyone to laugh at his corny jokes, to scold him for not resting, to stand up for him when his older brothers teased him, to intercede for him if his father was overworking him…. No-one to sit with him while he studied or did his work, in companionable silence, no-one to smile at him randomly throughout the day just because they were happy to see him. Yue Yuan praised him when he completed an assignment well.. But it wasn’t the same. He kept expecting to see Xiao-Jiu and hear her praise.

It turned out she had long infiltrated his life, leaving no space untouched, to the extent that without her, his days had become utterly dull and uninteresting. He had gotten used to her being there and now that she wasn’t, he saw her shadow everywhere and missed her dearly.

He finally admitted that this was love. He had loved her all along.

Chapter Text

It took Shen Jiu years to make Yue Qingyuan fall for her, but it took him another few years to recognise his own feelings. 

Unfortunately, it seemed too late.

At the welcoming banquet that night for the Bai Zhan army, he saw Liu Qingge. The mandarin duck jade pendant hanging at the young general's waist was alarmingly familiar.

With a glimmer of hope, he approached to inquire, and Liu Qingge raised an eyebrow at him and said in a strange tone of voice,"So you are Yue Qingyuan?"

The two men stared at each other for a moment, each gleaning the information they sought from the other's eyes, and then their mutual hostility became evident.

That day, the other guests at the banquet didn't drink much. The ones who drank the most were Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge, intentionally competing in a drinking contest.

Liu Qingge actually had a better tolerance for alcohol. When Yue Qingyuan was vomiting in the courtyard, Liu Qingge's face was only slightly flushed.

But as soon as Shen  Jiu appeared, the man who had boasted about being able to drink three more Yue Qingyuans instantly collapsed onto the table, clinging to her arm and whining. He even pretended to pass out to see what Shen Jiu would do.

(He was going to strangle that young master who told Liu Qingge all about how Shen Jiu used to make hangover soup personally for Yue Qingyuan when they were engaged). 

Yue Qingyuan felt a surge of anger and frustration, but Shen  Jiu fell for Liu Qingge's act. She genuinely believed him, her heart aching for him. 

She went to make the hangover soup, the soup that once belonged solely to him, and handed it to someone else.

The mandarin duck jade pendant that once belonged to him now hung at someone else's waist.

The girl who once cared for him with such devotion now had her heart set on another.

Her image haunted his dreams countless times, but upon waking, he was left with nothing but a sense of panic.

He was terrified of this panic, but this time, he wished it were just a dream, hoping that when he woke up, she was still on her travels and hadn't fallen for someone else.

Shen  Jiu, please, don't be so cruel!

—------

Lately, Shen Jiu had been running into Yue Qingyuan quite frequently. Just last night at the welcoming banquet, she had seen him, and today, when she went to Ruyi Zhai to buy her favorite osmanthus cake, she bumped into him again.

She greeted him politely, "What a coincidence, Prince Yue. Are you here to buy pastries from Ruyi Zhai as well?"

He was holding a package of pastries and responded with a low, "Hmm."

She glanced enviously at the oil-paper package in his hand, which seemed to be emitting the fragrance of osmanthus cake. She remembered that he used to dislike osmanthus.

But that wasn't her concern. She shifted her gaze from the pastries to him and said,"By the way, there was something I forgot to mention yesterday. Our engagement contract seems to be at your residence. When would be a good time for me to retrieve it?"

He suddenly looked up at her, his eyes appearing slightly red.

"Does it really have to be taken back?"

She sighed and replied, "Actually, I think it doesn't matter too, but Qingge feels uneasy about it."

Yue Qingyuan's expression became even more peculiar, showing some grievance. 

She quickly explained,"He doesn't doubt your integrity, really. It's just... a bit of childish jealousy. Since we are no longer engaged, it would be better to retrieve it."

He stared at her for another moment, then lowered his head to avoid her gaze.

"I'm not sure where it is. It might be with my mother."

He had never been pleased with the engagement, so it was normal for him not to know where the contract was.

She nodded.

"Alright, I'll go to see Empress Yue another day to get it."

After speaking, she focused on queuing. The long line was frustrating, and she wondered if there would be any osmanthus cake left by the time it was her turn.

While she was lost in thought, Yue Qingyuan handed her his package of osmanthus cake.

"Don't queue up, take this bag."

She was startled.

"Isn't this inappropriate?"

He must have come early in the morning to queue for it. He probably liked it a lot, so how could she take what he cherished?

"What will you eat then?"

"I... don't need it anymore."

She didn’t argue with him and accepted it. After all, he was her good brother. And he was a prince, if he truly wanted more he could order someone to queue up for him instead of waiting around in line himself. So, if he wanted to give away his cakes, why kick up a fuss?

When she got home, Liu Qingge had already been sitting in the flower hall with her parents for a quarter of an hour.

He looked at her rather resentfully. "Why were you not at home early in the morning?"

"I went out for a walk and bought some pastries on the way."

She placed the osmanthus cake down and mentioned casually, "I ran into Brother Yue just now. He said the engagement contract is with Aunt Yue, so when I go to the palace tomorrow to visit Yuan-er I’ll get it."

Her mother was surprised.

"When the imperial family visited the other day, I asked the Empress about the contract. She said it had always been kept by Qingyuan himself and that no one else had it."

She was also taken aback but then quickly understood what must have happened.

"He's never been very attentive to this engagement. He probably doesn't even remember where he put it or that he even has it.

She looked at Liu Qingge with some difficulty, knowing how important it was to him to retrieve the contract, but he merely gave a knowing smile and used a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from her forehead.

"You don't need to worry about this anymore. I'll go and talk to him."

—-------

Yue Qingyuan thought Shen  Jiu would come to the Yue residence to ask for the marriage contract, but instead, it was Liu Qingge who showed up.

"It's just a piece of paper, Prince Yue. Are you really that reluctant to let it go?"

Yue Qingyuan retorted, refusing to be outdone, "It's just a piece of paper, Young General Liu. Why are you so insistent on taking it?"

Liu Qingge chuckled.

"Without annulling the old contract, how can we sign a new one? If I don't resolve this issue, how can I confidently propose?"

Yue Qingyuan's expression turned cold.

"The contract is still valid, so she's still my fiancée. What gives you the right to propose?"

"Fiancée? That's just your wishful thinking. Do you dare to say that in front of her?"

Yue Qingyuan fell silent. Indeed, he didn't dare.

He was the one who broke off the engagement, and now he was the one entangled in it. Naturally, he didn't have the courage.

But to just let go like this, and watch her marry someone else, how could he possibly be willing?

"I grew up with her, we were childhood sweethearts. She liked me for several years, Liu Qingge. You've known her for only a few."

Liu Qingge shrugged nonchalantly.

"Time doesn't determine affection. Affection can be instant or it can take a lifetime to develop."

As he spoke, he took out a sachet from his pocket, its scent different from ordinary floral fragrances, carrying a faint medicinal aroma.

Liu Qingge, somewhat smug, said, "The top scholar also parades through the streets, right? Did you ever catch her sachet?"

Yue Qingyuan's heart tightened. Liu Qingge was asking whether he had caught it, but he knew very well that there was no question of catching it. That day... she had never thrown the sachet to him at all. 

He didn’t even realise that it was his own fault for being so cold to her, because Shen Jiu had desperately wanted him to look her way. If he had just glanced at her even once, she would have thrown it. But she had no confidence that he would have picked it up. And indeed, she would have been right, because the Yue Qingyuan back then did not want to encourage her and get her hopes up, after all, he had already planned on breaking off their engagement.

Liu Qingge continued to boast, "You didn't even dare to catch a sachet openly. This kind of affection isn't worth keeping. As for her once liking you? Haha. Her affection for you was determined from childhood with no other choice. But her affection for me is willingly given after seeing the vast world. In her heart now, I am the one she wants to spend her life with, and you're just a brother she grew up with. You never even let her know that you liked her. Yue Qingyuan, what right do you have to compete with me?"

For once, he lost in a battle of words, and to a general who was more efficient with a blade than the tongue at that. 

Yue Qingyuan truly didn’t have the right. She had been in his grasp for years and he hadn’t cherished her. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault that he lost his right to compete for her hand. After all, he lost the devoted Shen Jiu all by himself. And no piece of paper would ever bring him back her heart, even if he forced her to comply with it.

He silently handed over the contract. 

Chapter Text

Shen Jiu was happy that the contract was returned so that Liu Qingge would feel comfortable proposing to her.

He ripped the old one up as soon as he brought it back to show them that he got it. His father shook his head at his eager behaviour and redid a contract with her father right there so Liu Qingge wouldn’t hound him about it until he did it.

Then Liu Qingge took her to the magnificent garden at the Bai Zhan Lord’s residence in the capital and presented her with a beautiful hairpin and an exquisite fan (that doubled as a weapon because this was Liu Qingge and he wanted her to have something to protect herself if he wasn’t there), and asked her to marry him.

She whacked him with the fan (gently) and accepted. 

His radiant smile made her heart melt. This was how an engagement was supposed to be. They were supposed to be happy about it. Her future husband saw her as a blessing and wanted her. He couldn’t wait to marry her. It was very much the opposite of her last engagement.

She couldn’t help but to raise up and kiss him. 

—-------

Most of the Liu family army members received some kind of reward upon entering the capital. Liu Qingge was even promoted from fifth rank to third rank, and the Emperor personally asked if he had any wishes for a reward. 

He wasted his reward by requesting a marriage decree for him and Shen Jiu. 

(“You fool! I was going to marry you anyway, you didn’t need the Emperor to decree it! Why didn’t you ask for something else?!” Liu Qingge stubbornly replied, “This way nobody can contest it or come between us. Now everyone knows you’re mine.” “You–!”) 

Liu Qingge made sure to prepare a grand wedding, with the help of Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua. His sister and mother had come to the capital to help out as well. (Mingyan hit it off splendidly with Yue Yuan and Shang Qinghua… he had no idea they were writing books about his relationship).

 He wanted Shen Jiu to have the best. (He also wanted to show that he might not be a prince but he could also provide just as much as Shen Jiu deserved… yes he was still flaunting that Shen Jiu chose him over Yue Qingyuan and wanted to rub it in). Thus, on their wedding day, half of Qiong Ding came to witness it, turning the city into a bustling spectacle. 

They all tried to get a glimpse of the bride in her palanquin. Liu Qingge was somewhat disgruntled that everyone wanted to look at her. Who knew he was such a little vinegar jar? On the one hand, he definitely wanted everyone to see how beautiful his bride was in her wedding dress. On the other he didn’t want anyone to see how beautiful she was. She pinched his arm when she saw him glaring at the onlookers as he helped her off her sedan. 

By the time they completed all the ceremonies, the moon was high in the sky. Finally, left alone in the bridal chamber, Shen Jiu was so exhausted she could barely stand.

Liu Qingge, standing behind her, began to massage her back, nearly making her fall asleep from the comfort.

However, as she drifted off, she felt a chill on her body. She opened her eyes to find Liu Qingge already stripped down to his inner garments.

This was part of the wedding night rituals, she knew, but she didn't realise it would be so embarrassing.

He kissed her forehead and then trailed kisses downward.

He tossed her over and over, leaving her feeling like her body was falling apart, while he seemed to grow more vigorous.

She repeatedly begged for mercy until her voice turned hoarse. Only then did he relent slightly.

"Call me Qing-gege, and we'll stop for tonight. How about that?"

She bit her lip, unable to say it. So cringey! He resumed his actions.

Under his vigour, she clung to the bed, managing to stammer, "Gege! Qing-gege! Please... I really can't..."

By the time he stopped, the dragon and phoenix candles had burned out. Shen Jiu was too exhausted to even lift a finger, yet he lay beside her, still unsatisfied, whispering in her ear,"Tomorrow, we can try..."

She snapped her eyes open: Try what?! Try what?!

And tomorrow? No more tomorrow!

Tomorrow, I will move to the study and never sleep with him again!

But when tomorrow came, she didn't even have a chance to get out of bed before he had her pinned down for another round.

The night was too short in Liu Qingge’s opinion.

But thankfully, they had many tomorrows ahead to spend together.

(But Liu Qingge was definitely getting banished to the study! Shen Jiu claimed the bedroom. She deserved it after his over-excitement left her sore all over. He would just have to move out himself! Who knew that Liu Qingge, that proud general, would have to grovel all the time now for his wife to let him come back to their bed. Shen Jiu was determined to tame that beast! He would have to listen to her from now on or stay in the study. If she said down boy Liu Qingge wasn’t allowed to question her! She couldn’t deny though that she really loved to see his sulking, pouty face. There would be lots of begging in Liu Qingge’s future. Shen Jiu was the boss in this relationship!) 

—------

After the wedding, Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu returned to Bai Zhan together.

In the third year after their return to Bai Zhan, her parents also left the capital to live in Bai Zhan.

Nine years of exile did not change her father's temperament. After returning to the capital for three years, the Qing Jing Lord led the ministers with loyalty and courage, offering direct and honest advice, leaving the Emperor utterly offended.

Eventually, the Emperor could no longer tolerate it and expelled him from the capital again.

But this time, the Emperor wasn't as angry as before. The demotion wasn't severe, and he sent him to Bai Zhan so their family could be reunited.

Actually, after their wedding, the Emperor had summoned both the Shen and Liu families to the palace. He said that if they didn't want this young couple stationed at the border, he could summon them back.

Liu Qingge could command the imperial guards in the capital and Shen Qingqiu could join the Imperial Academy of Medicine.

They ultimately refused.

The Emperor squinted at them and said, "You are both young and come from prosperous families. Why do you insist on enduring hardships at the border?"

Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu held each other's hands and simply said, "To dedicate ourselves to the nation is our happiness. The capital is prosperous, filled with talented people. It doesn't lack a Liu Qingge, nor does it lack a Shen Qingqiu. But the border needs young and capable generals, as well as skilled doctors to heal and save lives.”

Also, Yue Qingyuan was there and it was pretty awkward running into him (which they would often do if they lived in the capital) what with the sad cow eyes he made at Shen Jiu whenever they crossed paths.

At the border, they'd seen the snow and wind, the scars of the soldiers, and the peaceful lives of the people.

They were willing to stay there, to use themselves as a shield, to protect the peace and safety of the nation and its people.

Chapter Text

In the matchmaking circles of the capital, there was an unwritten challenge: whoever could secure the aloof Yue Qingyuan would be regarded as the best matchmaker in Cang Qiong.

Unfortunately, no one had succeeded yet.

The most famous matchmaker, Madam Meiyin, after her seventeenth unsuccessful attempt, once asked him, "Prince Yue, what kind of girl do you want? At least give us a direction."

A figure instinctively appeared in Yue Qingyuan's mind, but it was someone he couldn't mention.

She was now the famous divine doctor of Bai Zhan, living happily with Liu Qingge.

One was a ruthless warrior, the other a benevolent healer.

Yet, the two inexplicably made a perfect match, and their prestige among the people was remarkably high.

If the word got out that the Seventh Prince, Grand Academician Yue had remained unmarried for years because he loved Young General Liu's wife, Dr. Shen , the rumor mill would quickly churn out dozens of storybooks.

Actually, unbeknownst to him, Shang Qinghua and Yue Yuan were already doing that, they just hid it well.

In truth, Yue Qingyuan wasn't opposed to marriage.

He treated all the matchmakers with a pleasant demeanor, genuinely trying to move on from Shen  Jiu.

But he hadn't succeeded yet.

Shen  Jiu once said that she thought the marriage contract didn't matter, but Liu Qingge insisted on taking it back.

Liu Qingge's concern was actually well-founded.

Because Yue Qingyuan had indeed considered that, with the contract in hand, he could legally force Shen Jiu to marry him.

But that would make her very unhappy.

He had already lost his fiancée, Shen Jiu. He couldn't lose his sister, Shen Jiu, too.

So, when Liu Qingge came to see him that day, Yue Qingyuan took out the slightly faded red paper and reluctantly gave it to Liu Qingge.

After Liu Qingge left, Yue Qingyuan slowly opened his clenched left hand, revealing a torn fragment of the marriage contract. He had clenched onto it tightly when handing it over, so Liu Qingge had had to pull it free of his hand, and that’s when a corner of it had torn off.

The red paper was crumpled and slightly damp with sweat.

He smoothed it out, revealing the names signed at the bottom.

Shen Jiu, Yue Qingyuan.

He had once been fortunate enough to be engaged to the girl he loved most.

But at that time, he didn't know.

He always thought the world was vast, and there must be a girl out there who he was more romantically compatible with. One who he hadn’t been forced to marry by his controlling father.

He broke off the engagement, giving both of them a chance to explore their likes and dislikes and to figure out what they truly wanted in a partner. Well Shen Jiu did in fact make use of the chance he had given them. She travelled a lot after he broke their engagement.

Later, in Liu Qingge, she found someone she liked more with whom she shared a deep bond.

But he never found a girl he liked more for the rest of his life.

There were indeed many more wonderful girls in the world, but there was only one Shen Qingqiu.

And Yue Qingyuan only loved Shen Qingqiu.

Unfortunately, he never got to tell her this for the rest of his life, and even if he did, it was already way too late.

He’d given up the pearl in his hand to someone else and had done it willingly. The only one to blame for his loneliness was himself.