Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tyler’s shoelaces catch on the metallic fence of the basketball court. He’s risking a fall and at the very least a bruised knee, but he doesn’t really care. His fingers are already covered in calluses, and they hurt.

As uncomfortable as it is, Tyler kind of enjoys it. The adrenaline makes him feel free or something like that.

Josh, on the other hand, looks completely unfazed, like this is something he does every day. He climbs to the top of the fence with such ease and fluidity that Tyler is momentarily stunned by how graceful it looks. He doesn’t even seem like someone who just scaled a whole damn fence. Fascinating.

The air smells like wet asphalt right before a storm, and Tyler’s pretty sure he saw some thick, dark clouds in the distance.

Tyler gets lost in his thoughts. He’s not sure if it’s a good thing that he was paired with Josh—he doesn’t even know what to make of him yet. Still, it feels like Josh understands him in a weird way, which is strange, considering they’ve only known each other for a day. But Tyler’s never been one to trust his own expectations.

They settle at the top of the fence, awkwardly adjusting to their already uncomfortable spots. The metal wires press against them in all the worst places. Still, Josh hums toward the sky, looking content—like the stars just landed in his hands.

Tyler snorts and stretches his legs out, glancing back at the basketball court. It had been full earlier, but now it’s empty and dark.

“I come here almost every day. I don’t really see anything special,” Tyler mutters, peering down.

He’s not being sarcastic because he doesn’t like Josh—he’s just a little embarrassed. It’s hard for him to open up to someone he barely knows. He’s not the kind of person who can write or sing about things that don’t feel personal. Saying that to someone he met yesterday feels too intimate. That’s why he builds walls—drama is just part of the act. A facade. He guesses he’ll have to learn eventually.

Josh gestures for him to look ahead.

And he does. And in that moment, Tyler realizes it was worth the sore fingers.

It feels ethereal, unreal, like something out of a teen movie. He brushes his finger against his palm to make sure he’s not dreaming. Because this feels like one of those really good dreams—the kind you wake up from with a lingering sense of sadness and emptiness. But he’s here, right now. And it’s breathtaking.

He has this strange, inexplicable feeling that Josh is going to stick around for a while.

The sunset is stunning. The sky is overflowing with deep purples and pinks. And somehow, the sight of Josh’s pink curls poking out from under his backward cap just fits perfectly into the picture. Tyler smiles without really knowing why. He lowers his gaze. Maybe he just needed this moment—he’s not alone right now, and that’s a comforting thought.

He runs a hand through his hair as if trying to straighten out his thoughts, to find the right words. But it doesn’t help. His mind is a mess. He sits in silence, glancing around to avoid Josh’s gaze, which feels too observant—like he’s being studied.

Tyler reaches up and touches his treacherously warm cheeks with his fingertips.

Josh is bouncing his legs, occasionally glancing down at the empty court below.

Classes are over, and almost no one’s around. It’s just the two of them. Tyler doesn’t even know why Josh brought him here. He doesn’t mind, though. Actually, he’s glad to be here. It’s better than being at home. And for some reason, the silence between them feels comfortable, even if he doesn’t fully understand why. Yet. He figures he’ll understand eventually.

“I think moments like this… they kind of create a bond between people, you know?” Josh finally breaks the silence, turning to Tyler. “I mean, what’s the point of getting to know each other if we don’t share something meaningful?”

Tyler stays quiet, thinking about it.

Josh seems to be reading his mind, saying things Tyler hasn’t even said out loud. How can he speak like that — like he already knows him?

Josh pauses, then looks away. “But now that I think about it, this is just a stupid assignment for glee club. I don’t even know why I’m trying so hard.”

Tyler shrugs. “Actually… it’s a good idea. Seriously.” He leans forward.

Josh’s eyes linger on the gold chain and cross that occasionally catches the light from underneath Tyler’s white button-down. The top button is undone — so the collar won’t press too tight. Did he consider Tyler to be a typical christian boy, or did he find having similar views strangely comforting? Tyler would definitely feel that.

Josh’s expression is unreadable. Tyler unsuccessfully tries to make something out of his mute signals. It encourages him to try — to try to understand Josh better.

After a pause, Tyler says, “I’m just… always in my head. Sorry.” He fidgets with the hem of his hoodie. “Thanks for showing me this place and… this.” He gestures vaguely, unable to find the right words.

Josh chuckles and leans forward.

Tyler raises an eyebrow, half-laughing. “What?” He lifts his hand to playfully swat Josh’s shoulder, then hesitates and pulls back, unsure if he’s being too much.

“Nothing,” Josh says with a laugh, looking away for a second. “You just have this charm. Makes me want to laugh at everything you say.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Tyler, a little too encouraged by that, grins—maybe a bit smugly.

A few more minutes pass in silence. Tyler inhales the fresh air and the earthy scent of damp pavement, letting himself sink into the moment as he closes his eyes.

Still, he doesn’t let himself fully relax. He’s not ready to be vulnerable with someone else. It feels like the moment he lets his guard down, something will go wrong.

Josh is so unlike anyone Tyler has known—so different from the people he grew up around. And yet, he’s fascinating. Tyler wants to know more, to understand this mysterious, unique boy. It only confuses him more. And no matter how much he wants to seem calm and collected, his anxiety always gets the best of him. Even now, he’s putting up unnecessary walls. But what can he do? Those walls have protected him better than anyone else ever has.

As the sun disappears, the sky darkens with it. But neither of them moves. They could stay like this until morning, sharing the silence. Or they could have—if Josh didn’t speak again:

“This morning, could you have imagined sitting here with some weird new guy?”

Tyler snorts, shaking his head. “You’re not weird. You’re cool. In your own way.”

He can’t believe he just said that.

Josh covers his mouth. “Nah, I’m weird.”

Tyler chuckles. “Prove it.”

“Tyler, I literally joined choir voluntarily. Isn’t that weird enough?”

He pauses for a second, glancing away.

“Okay, fair point,” Tyler concedes. He pulls at his hoodie strings, tying them into simple knots. “But that means I’m weird too.”

Josh laughs. “You’re not weird…” He trails off, looking for the right words. “…you’re talented. I mean, I don’t even know how to sing.”

Josh keeps talking, but Tyler isn’t fully listening—he’s drifted into his thoughts again.

How would Josh even know if he’s talented?

“It’s kind of ridiculous—I joined choir and I can’t even sing,” he says, laughing at himself.

Josh goes quiet, and the silence pulls Tyler back to reality. It feels like he is about to say something personal, and Tyler is ready to listen.

“…I passed by the office when you were auditioning.” Josh looks at him like he just read Tyler's mind.

He stiffens. His lips part, clearly spiraling. Josh quickly backtracks.

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop!” he stammers. His hands grip the fence rail tightly. His fingers shake.

Josh suddenly looks less like the confident, mysterious guy he pretends to be. He looks embarrassed—maybe even more than Tyler. And Tyler can’t help but find that a little… cute. But he doesn’t let him entertain this thought.

“Well, maybe I stopped for a second to listen,” Josh admits, blinking and turning away. Tyler stays silent, completely unsure what to say. His vocabulary might as well have been thrown into the basketball hoop behind them.

“But it was just… so emotional!” Josh suddenly exclaims, then cringes and clears his throat. “That’s… cool. Or whatever.”

He looks like a puppy caught stealing snacks.

“I just want you to know… it’s like you’re ashamed of what’s inside you. But I find it… beautiful?” He pauses. “I mean—whatever.”

Heat creeps up the back of Tyler’s neck. He opens his mouth to speak, but instead he laughs. Once, then twice. Then he bursts into laughter. It’s contagious—Josh joins in, even though he’s not sure why.

“I sang ‘Summertime Sadness’ by Lana Del Rey. You’re acting like I composed some tragic symphony.”

“At the time, it felt like that! Dude, it’s not every day you hear Lana Del Rey echoing through the halls,” Josh replies between laughs. Tyler leans back, resting his palms on the fence.

Josh exhales, half-ashamed. “Now you’re definitely convinced I’m weird.”

Tyler shakes his head. “Your dorkiness just makes you even cooler.”

Josh scans him from head to toe, his expression unreadable. Tyler shouldn’t overthink it—but he does. His hoodie’s hem is all wrinkled from how many times he’s messed with it. He straightens up, suddenly tense. Did he say too much? What does that look mean?

Josh saves him from the spiral. “So, what do you think of your school?”

Tyler raises an eyebrow, caught off guard.

“I haven’t really formed a first impression yet,” Josh says with a shrug.

Tyler thinks for a moment. What does he think of his school?

Well, yesterday’s morning wasn’t exactly the best start to the day…

School is the worst place you could possibly trap a bunch of hormonal teenagers for several years straight.

That was the thought flashing through Tyler’s mind as he muttered a curse under his breath, wiping red fruit slushie from his face with the sleeve of his gray sweatshirt.

The rough fabric scraped against his skin, and he winced. His cheeks were already stinging.

He regretted crossing paths with those two football douchebags who apparently saw it as their life’s mission to start drama with athletes from other teams. What was even the point of pitting basketball against football? It wasn’t like they were even playing the same game.

But then things got worse. Much worse.

He looked down—and saw the giant, spreading red stain on his favorite shirt. Just great.

Whoever thought this slushie-throwing tradition was funny had to be a complete idiot, Tyler thought.

The most confusing part was that Tyler wasn’t even a loser. He had friends. A social life. Hobbies. He was good at basketball. He sat somewhere comfortably in the middle of the strange high school hierarchy. And yet, he still got caught in random waves of aggression like this one.

Whatever. The slushie would come off—probably. At least school sinks had cold water.

Freezing cold.

Now, cold water dripping from his chin, Tyler rubbed his eyes with numb fingers. The school hadn’t had warm water in years. Maybe that explained why the principal was somehow on his third vacation of the year.

It was annoying. Tyler hated the sensation of icy water on his skin. It was painful and miserable. He blinked under the flickering fluorescent light, ran his hands through his slightly damp hair, and let out a heavy sigh. The sleeves of his hoodie, which he refused to roll up, clung to his arms, uncomfortable and soaked. 

He looked up.

His reflection stared back at him in the cracked mirror above the sink. Maybe he needed more sleep. He’d think about that later—around 12:36 a.m., when he’d still be tossing and turning in bed.

One last glance in the mirror, and then he stepped out of the bathroom.

The hallway was buzzing. Students moved around him in clusters, noisy and chaotic, as always. But something caught his attention—on the far end of the corridor, a crowd had gathered. Everyone was staring at something on the wall.

Tyler’s curiosity got the best of him. He walked over, standing on tiptoe to get a better look.

Honestly, judging by the unimpressed faces, it couldn’t have been anything interesting.

A tap on the shoulder made him jump.

“Tyler?”

He turned quickly, startled. Nick stood there with a small, amused smile. Tyler nodded in greeting.

Nick’s gaze shifted to Tyler’s shirt, and his brows lifted. “Dude, you’ve got slushie all over you.”

“I know, damn it…” Tyler exhaled, not angry—just tired.

Then he remembered why he came out here in the first place: a clean T-shirt. He had one in his PE locker. Probably a good idea to go change before class.

“What are you doing here?” Nick asked—not out of interest, more like distraction. Tyler got the feeling he was just asking to fill the silence.

Tyler rolled his eyes dramatically and stood beside him, glancing past the crowd.

“And what are you doing here?” he asked, smirking.

Nick ignored him.

Tyler looked down for a moment, then zipped up his gray hoodie to cover the giant red stain. Why hadn’t he done that sooner?

He turned his attention back to the wall where everyone was gathered.

“What even is this choir thing?” Nick asked, squinting at the sheet posted on the bulletin board.

Tyler stretched up beside him, also trying to read it.

 “We’ve got better things to do than join some lame choir,” he muttered after a moment, letting out a mocking laugh before giving Tyler a playful shove.

The crowd started to thin out, disappointment clear on their faces as they walked away. Hardly anyone had signed up.

Nick, clearly uninterested, turned and started walking off. “Later! See you at practice?”

Tyler didn’t answer. He just stood there, staring at the sign-up sheet.

Chapter Text

Today is the first day of choir practice.

Tyler, being the most tactful person in the world, shows up dead last. The clock on the wall tells him he’s late; the burning stare of Mr. Trash staring right through him tells him he’s very late. Tyler mutters to himself that it’s just choir, nothing serious. But his hands tighten around the fabric straps of his backpack, betraying him.

Those who know him well enough would say Tyler isn’t actually a bad singer — no, he’s good. Music has been close to him ever since he was eleven; it’s been a part of his life for as long as he can remember. The thing is, he’s never really shared it with anyone. He’s not ready, not confident enough, not even sure what he feels about his own music yet. But when he saw the flyer for choir auditions, he thought it might be a chance — maybe even the chance — to turn his small private hobby into something real. It sounded ridiculous in his own head, but still, it mattered. Anything that had to do with music sent him into orbit. 

But this… this was a choir. That’s not at all what he had pictured in his mind. What was he even doing here? This was high school. High school meant cruel, sharp‑tongued teenagers. And maybe it was cowardly, but Tyler wasn’t ready to risk the fragile balance of his reputation.

That thought had been gnawing at him all the way to the classroom. Was he ready to share this part of himself with strangers? Did he have the courage, the confidence to do it? It was just a school club, not a concert, not a festival. So why was he so nervous? His fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he replayed his father’s words in his head — something about determination, bravery, manhood. He wasn’t a wuss. Right?

Tyler snorted. Manhood and high school choir. What a combination.

He scanned the room. His gaze immediately landed on Mark, whose presence was really surprising. What the hell is he even doing here? 

Mark stared back at him in surprise, and Tyler mirrored it with equal disbelief. 

But still, relief washed over him — at least he wasn’t completely alone here.

Some of the other kids shared classes with him. He probably should’ve remembered their names, but he never bothered to memorize them earlier in the year. One boy, though — sitting in the middle of the front row with a mess of bright red hair — was completely new. Tyler had never seen him before, not once. He looked too unusual to go unnoticed in the school hallways. 

He didn’t really belong here, didn’t fit the setting or the people. Which is exactly what made him kind of… fascinating? It sounds strange, but Tyler couldn’t look away, catching every small detail: Torn jeans. Fingers fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. Black nail polish. A nose piercing — was that even allowed? No one in his hometown looked like this. People there were shadows, blending into one another: the same behavior, the same hollow gaze. If someone did stand out, Tyler never paid much attention. But this boy… he was otherworldly. Too bright. Too unusual.

Was he new? From another town? Tyler doesn’t think people like this can have boring backstories. Maybe he’d switched schools after trouble at his last one. But there was no malice in his eyes, even as he looked Tyler up and down-

A minute passed before Tyler realized he was standing frozen in place. 

Mr. Trash coughed behind Tyler, snapping him back to reality. He realized the red‑haired boy was staring back at him just as intently. 

Too intently. 

Tyler stiffened under the weight of it. How long had he been standing there? Long enough for everyone else to be staring too.

God, it’s really embarrassing. He just stared at some dude like a little kid being mesmerised by a really pretty person. All because he dresses alternative.

Well, he is also pretty, if he can even say that about another guy.

But there’s nothing more than admiration, the way he dresses, the way he looks. It’s just something Tyler finds really cool. 

Flustered, he scrambled into the first empty chair he could find, desperate to escape the strange attention. He cursed under his breath. God, why does he always have to be so weird?

He sank into a red plastic chair, glanced around the class. Then he decided chatting with Mark would be a good distraction from the embarrassment earlier.

“I did not expect to see you here.” Tyler leaned in, whispering.

“What?” Mark turned.

“This is glee club. You don’t sing. What are you doing here?” 

Mark shrugged. “Thought it would be a great opportunity to expand my… horizons? You know.” His tone wasn’t convincing. Tyler decided he’d had enough weirdness for one day and dropped it. His gaze drifted away, back into his tangled thoughts. Mark frowned, feeling abruptly shut out, but Tyler couldn’t bother. He was deep in his previous worries already.

From the back row, he noticed the red‑haired boy stealing glances at him every now and then.

“What’s his deal…” Tyler muttered, more to himself than to Mark.

Mr. Trash clapped his hands, cheerful as ever, drawing the group’s attention. His enthusiasm was almost contagious; he wasn’t embarrassed by it at all. Somehow, his genuine excitement grounded Tyler, reminding him that he wasn’t completely alone.

He already knew Mr. Trash. Who didn’t? But during auditions, he’d seen a new side of him — the way the man truly believed in this idea, the way he looked at students as though they had limitless potential. Tyler barely remembered his audition because of adrenaline, but he’d never forget the moment his fingers pressed down on the last note, the keys creaked under him, and Mr. Trash looked at him as if he had just confirmed that this classroom was exactly where he was meant to be. It gave Tyler hope — hope that maybe this could turn into something real.

He had poured everything into that audition. All his soul, all his emotion. It’s the first time he showed someone his way of performing. It was as terrifying as it was thrilling.

He played “Summertime Sadness”. If his basketball teammates ever found out, they’d never believe it.

“Alright, guys, first assignment: pair up, get to know each other, choose a song that best represents you both…” Mr. Trash’s voice trailed off, his eyes dropping for a few seconds before he snapped back. “The catch is — I’ll be choosing the pairs.”

Tyler looked around. He wasn’t scared. He just really hoped he’d get paired with Mark.

“Let’s see…” Mr. Trash scanned the rows. His finger landed on Tyler. Of course. Considering his “show” earlier, it was practically impossible for him to not be chosen first. 

“You! And…” He paused dramatically. 

The finger slid down the row and stopped at the most unwanted but most obvious person. Tyler swallowed hard. “…And you!”

Tyler might just disappear right there and never deal with anything, ever.

Reluctantly, he peeked through the rows, searching for him. Their eyes met. Tyler squinted, trying to read his face. On the surface he looked calm. Too calm. But the way his lips twitched upward, the way his eyes lit up — sparkling with something dangerously close to excitement — made Tyler snap his gaze away, pressing himself into his seat. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

 He has a feeling this is going to be a very hard assignment. 

A few more minutes passed while Mr. Trash finished assigning groups. Minutes of tense waiting, fingers gripping the hem of his hoodie.

And as soon as they were dismissed, Tyler bolted out of the classroom so fast that even the basketball stars would’ve been jealous.

He decided to leave this problem for tomorrow — when his head would be clearer, and his mind a little less chaotic.

But the red-haired boy clearly had other plans.

Tyler was sitting on the steps outside the school cafeteria, one earbud in, the other dangling loose against his chest. He was scribbling aimlessly in his notebook while blasting Death Cab for Cutie loud enough that anyone sitting nearby could tell what song it was. Not that he cared.

He didn’t even hear the footsteps behind him until someone tapped him on the shoulder. Pulling out an earbud, he turned around.

“Hi, Tyler!” Jenna waved cheerfully. “I haven’t seen you all day, are you avoiding me?” She gave him that half-serious, half-playful look she always makes when she’s pretending to scold him.

He scoffed. “Nah. Not you. Just… people.” He shrugged and turned back to his notebook.

Jenna frowned.

“Well, stop sulking and come meet my new friend.” Jenna tugged on the hood of his sweatshirt, practically dragging him to his feet.

Tyler was about to groan and decline her kind offer, but everyone knows nobody can actually reject something Jenna offers. And who is he to miss an opportunity to mess with her?

“Oh, I get it. Replacing me already? That’s cold, Jenna. Not cool.” Tyler shook his head dramatically as he stood, knowing she’d roll her eyes.

“Nobody’s replacing you, drama queen. Quit whining.” She weaved them through the cafeteria tables, squinting into the crowd as she rambled about how “cool and fun” this new friend was. Tyler, meanwhile, had drifted off into a daydream.

He has no interest in meeting new people. Especially today. He is already drained, he doesn’t feel like socializing with random strangers. He’ll probably just say hi, stand there for two minutes and then excuse himself and bolt out of there.

“There he is!” Jenna elbowed him, returning him back to the present. “Josh!” She waved excitedly to catch his attention.

Who the hell is Josh?

Tyler looked in the direction Jenna was waving at, and he froze. Every thought in his head stopped for a minute. Only pure shock in his head, and probably on his face.

Oh.

So that’s Josh.

Now he knew the red-haired boy’s name.

Tyler’s hand immediately nervously went to his hair and ran through it, pulling it with fingers. This was not how he imagined their first real encounter. He’d bolted from class so fast yesterday he hadn’t even thought about how they were supposed to actually work on that assignment. 

As they walked closer, Tyler kept his eyes fixed anywhere but Josh, terrified of meeting his gaze. Maybe Josh wouldn’t even remember him. God, if only he had just forgotten about him.

“Oh, hey.” Josh turned fully toward them. Jenna didn’t wait a second and was already introducing Tyler, saying something about how she wanted them to meet — but Tyler wasn’t really listening.

He risked a glance. Josh seemed surprised. He was talking to Jenna, but his eyes never left Tyler. That stare made him want to disappear into the ground, to escape somewhere private where no one looked at him.

Jenna continued to talk, they exchanged words with Josh, but most of the time he nodded, listening to her blabbering.

“We’re actually in a glee club together,” Josh said casually, snapping Tyler out of his thoughts. 

“Really? Tyler, why didn’t you tell me you guys already knew each other?” Jenna asked.

Tyler looked around awkwardly. “We don’t, really. This is only the second time I’ve seen him.”

Josh looked at him.

“But we’re already partners on the assignment,” He added with a faintly smug look, turning to Jenna.

Tyler cursed in his mind. 

“Oh. Right. Forgot about that.” He lied — of course he hadn’t forgotten. But Josh didn’t need to know that.

Josh’s smile turned into a barely visible frown as he looked away. Guilt pricked at Tyler immediately. Josh didn’t even do anything. He actually seems kinda sweet. It’s just that Tyler has this stupid thing where he acts a little bitchy when he’s nervous. He never meant to hurt anyone, but sometimes he’s too much in his head to act right.

Jenna had a puzzled look. “Okay… anyway, I should go. If I don’t find Mr. Bourbaki soon, he’s gonna kill me. Bye, guys!” She quickly spun on her heel and disappeared into the crowd.

And just like that, it was the two of them.

Jenna left so fast Tyler didn’t even realise they were alone now.

It had been much easier with her there. She talked and talked and talked and Tyler liked that about her. It was never quiet when he was with Jenna.

Now the silence hung heavy between them, awkward and unbearable.

Say something. Anything. Ask for his number? Walk away?

The longer it dragged on, the worse it felt.

Josh must hate him. Josh must think Tyler is cruel and rude and an asshole. Sometimes it is like that. He avoided him all day, and when they finally met face to face, Tyler said something really stupid. 

He stared at him like a freak for a few minutes the first time he saw him, and it had been so strange and so embarrassing — that now Tyler is really afraid of Josh’s judgment. Even now he’s just staring at him saying absolutely nothing. 

Maybe right now he’s thinking about switching partners. Honestly, it’s for the best for both of them.

“Tyler? Are you okay?” 

Josh’s voice snaps Tyler out of trance. He nods and mumbles “yeah” under his nose leaving Josh confused about this sudden change of behaviour.

“So, um… I’ve been meaning to ask, do you maybe want to hang out after school? Talk about the assignment?” he rubbed his neck. 

Josh stopped, thinking for a second, then he said:

“Actually, I wanna show you something. Meet me at the basketball court?” He smiled.

“Yeah. Sure. ‘S Cool.” Tyler muttered, tilting his head and staring at the ground.

Josh’s smile widened. He slung his backpack over one shoulder, gave Tyler one last grin, and started toward the building.

“See you!”

Tyler sighed. He wasn’t exactly thrilled, but… he couldn’t stop the tiny smile tugging at his lips.

Tyler only realized he’d been lost in his head when he noticed Josh staring at him. Probably because he’d been silent for a couple of minutes.

He finally spoke: 

“Eh, school is school” Tyler shrugged.

“Very poetic,” Josh chuckled.

“Whatever.” Tyler looked around; it was almost dark, nearly time to go home.

“Maybe you should give me your number,” Josh suggested casually. “That way we won’t have to track each other down at school.”

“Oh, right, wait.” Tyler took out his phone but Josh shook his head and grabbed Tyler’s arm instead. 

Tyler stiffened at the unexpected touch. Josh’s palm was warm and careful, trying not to hold him too tightly, avoiding any extra contact. He was barely even touching him but Tyler still felt goosebumps.

Well… That’s only because his hand felt just so warm against his cold skin, nothing else.

Tyler, again, was so distracted by his thoughts he didn’t even notice Josh was writing down his number with a marker on his arm. 

There was something about this that felt so refreshing.

Josh’s need to do things differently, never the usual way, was like a breath of air, breaking Tyler out of the dull, repetitive cycle everyone else seemed to follow. 

And for some reason, the thought of Josh’s number written on his arm made him feel almost giddy. He wanted to squeal like some teenage girl, but he quickly brushed the thought away.

Stupid.

Tyler looked at his arm once more, and Josh let out a soft laugh.

“So… call me?” Josh asked, resting his hands on hips.

“Oh, yeah,” Tyler said with a quick nod, looking away.

They sat in awkward silence for a minute, neither of them ready — or wanting — to leave.

“Well, I gotta go.” Josh said, preparing to climb back down.

“Okay… I'll see you tomorrow?” Tyler asked, nervously chewing at his cheek. 

Josh nodded, smiling, his mood lifting instantly at the thought of tomorrow’s practice.

“Bye!” He waved, before hopping down from the fence.

Tyler, on the other hand, stayed there for a few minutes, letting the moment settle. 

And when he got home, a warm feeling still in his chest, he opened his phone and spent hours wondering what to text Josh, until he finally fell asleep without typing a single word. 

Chapter Text

It’s raining.

Water droplets patter against the window, filling the room with a soft, dull rhythm that Tyler finds somewhat soothing. He couldn’t bother to focus on the class; instead, his eyes wandered to the clouds slowly swallowing the sky outside. It was clearly much more interesting. His gaze slid down to his notebook, full of scribbled nonsense that wasn’t in any way related to the class. He frustratedly tapped his pencil against the paper, glancing up at the clock. It was moving agonisingly slow, each tick almost mocking him. 

The day drags on, unhurried and heavy. No one in school seems in a rush to do anything. Nothing was going on, the usual clatter in the halls shifted into a still hum of other people's conversations. 

The teacher was explaining something with a monotone voice that could put you to sleep. It seems that nobody in the class was paying attention to what he was saying.

Tyler loved this kind of weather, though it’s not the same as being at home, curled up in his warm bed sheets, sleep seeping into his head and limbs, blurring his gaze that’s directed at the rain-covered window, but this will do.

He extends his hand towards the foggy window, drawing little stars with his fingers, as raindrops continue to fall, covering the entire window.

His mind drifts to what comes first. He absentmindedly thinks about today’s breakfast and how good it was. Then he wonders what his next class is.

But mostly he thinks about Josh. 

Josh occupied his thoughts and didn’t plan to leave anytime soon. This was a bit strange, Tyler felt it in the back of his head, the way an anxious twisting was forming in his stomach, it was telling him — this is unusual, it’s too soon. But Tyler couldn’t lie to himself — he liked talking with Josh, and he really, really looked forward to hanging out with him again. His hands basically itched to grab his phone and text Josh literally right in the middle of the class. 

Tyler really wanted to be friends with him. He knows they should be friends. It felt right. His hand reached up to pull on the strings of his hoodie.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him when after a few minutes, the bell finally rings, and Tyler is finally free from this cage of boredom. 

He walks through the school hallway, people passing by, blending into shapeless figures. They chat, walking in groups, some laughing louder than necessary. Tyler looks at them feeling a slight unease for whatever reason. He never really figured out why other people make him feel so anxious about everything. He’s not afraid of them, so why is he so upset? This is a question that he has never found an answer to. The unknown pressure caused by nothing in particular makes him want to firmly wrap his hands around his shoulders, maybe that way he would feel smaller, less noticeable.

Tyler shakes his head, tries to distract him from his running thoughts. His hand reaches for his hair and pulls the curls nervously.

He takes a second to glance down at his shoes. They are stained with years of sneaking out at dusk with his brother, just to drive around in their mom’s car, listening to music all night long. Or when Jenna dragged him to parties and he’d get shit-faced drunk and start to pursue his passion for climbing. Climbing trees, specifically. And then Mark took like a hundred embarrassing pictures of him, and then posted them on Facebook for everyone to see.

Tyler chuckles nervously, shaking his head, and prays that nobody finds that folder.

A sudden notification pulls him out of his head. Curiosity prickles as he pulls out his phone out of his pocket, only to find out that Josh texted him. 

Only one thought comes to his mind: how did he get his number?

As Tyler types his unnecessarily long password, his thoughts wander to all the ways Josh might have obtained it. He certainly didn’t give it to him yesterday. Sure, Tyler can be forgetful now and then, but not to that extent. He’d definitely remember if he gave him his number. The idea that Josh might have spent the entire evening lurking on his socials sends a chill down his spine.

He opens the text.

"hey"

Wordy.

"it’s Josh btw"

Tyler's fingers roamed around the screen typing replies, then deleting them, and typing again. They trembled — just a little. He’s overthinking every single word, way too much for what should be a casual conversation between classmates. It’s bordering on obsession.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            "hi"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              "sorry i didn’t text you yesterday"

Explaining why he didn't text him felt like he was trying to make a stupid excuse to not seem rude, on the other hand, not explaining himself felt even ruder. But there is no way he is going to tell Josh that It took him so long to decide what to type that he just fell asleep.

But it doesn’t matter now — Josh already texted him back.

"that’s ok :) Jenna gave me your number anyways"

Well, now he knows that Josh didn't creep on him on social media. Relief washed over Tyler. The last thing he wanted was for Josh to stumble across those humiliating photos of him acting like a drunk idiot. 

"actually i thought we could meet up somewhere, anywhere, if u wanted"

"to work"

A subtle smile tugged at Tyler's lips, he looked at the text again, as if to make sure it was real. His fingers were now shaking not from anxiety, but from anticipation.

He started typing quickly, before he could overthink it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   "wanna come over?"

Inviting a person he met yesterday to his house wasn’t a bad idea… right?

"Hey." Josh said softly, gently tapping Tyler on his shoulder. 

They had agreed to meet after classes at the school’s parking lot so that they could walk to Tyler’s place together. 

"Hi." Tyler let out a nervous giggle and immediately felt like an idiot. Josh just grinned back. They stood in silence for a few moments, watching students heading home.

It’s sunny, which is really surprising, considering an hour ago it was literally pouring. But even more surprising was the fact that Tyler doesn’t walk around complaining about the hot weather annoying everyone in sight.

Today felt different. It felt good. The weight still was pressing, but it was lighter. After a week of white hot anxiety stirring in his chest, a week of feeling his mind floating elsewhere, fixated on the nauseating feeling of something he can’t quite grasp — he finally feels a little bit at ease. His chest felt lighter. Something about their conversation yesterday comforted Tyler, not leaving space for obsessive thoughts to form, Only the feeling of settlement.

Classes ended. He had the whole day ahead, an entire afternoon meant for nothing but hanging out with Josh. 

Normally, Tyler wasn’t the type of person to rush into new friendships, let alone spend a day with someone he barely knew. But Josh was different. Being with him didn’t feel like meeting someone new. As corny as it may sound, talking with Josh felt like finding a missing puzzle piece that he had lost a long time ago.

So, yeah. He pretty much was in a good mood. 

They just stood there for some time, neither of them saying anything, enjoying each other’s silence. Tyler propped up on small fencing, quietly observing Josh. He liked analysing people. He especially liked analysing Josh — the little gestures, the way he always was fiddling with his hair or drumming on every surface he laid his hands on.

Tyler tilted his head down, his shoe followed the outline of Josh’s silhouette on the pavement.

"What are you doing?" He turned to him, his voice filled with curiosity as his eyes followed Tyler’s leg. He turned to him, glancing for a second in Josh’s direction but quickly looking away. Tyler thoughtfully hummed, then said, "Tracing your shadow." 

Josh laughed softly. "Why?" He shifted, now moving carefully as if not to ruin Tyler’s work.

Tyler shrugged and glanced away again, warmth bubbling in his chest from the silliness of the moment, "Why not?" 

They both looked down at the spot where their shadows met — melting into one. Tyler traced the last inches of the silhouette, stopping when his shoe bumped with Josh’s. They stayed like this for a minute, neither of them daring to move. 

There were a few people left, the crowd slowly fading. Tyler realised they were probably the last ones to head out, so he quickly jumped off the fence, his right hand waving for Josh to follow him. Their gazes met for a brief moment, then Josh turned on his heel and followed Tyler without hesitation.

As they were walking to his house, their conversation flowed naturally, they talked about practically everything — school, music, their families, whatever came to mind. 

Tyler liked that, he liked talking with Josh. He was struck by how almost every one of their interests or views seemed to match. They chatted without effort and it seemed ethereal that they just- clicked like that. Their favourite bands, favourite albums, favourite movies – everything seemed to match. 

Tyler didn’t even notice how fast they arrived. When they stepped at the front porch of his house, he felt a twinge of disappointment and doubt nibbling at him. 

He’s still unsure. Except this time, alongside the fear, there was hope. Now that he knew Josh a little bit better, he simply hoped that he'd like his music.

He reached out and opened the front door, letting Josh in first and then stepping in himself. Tyler carelessly tossed his backpack somewhere in the corner of the hallway, rushing upstairs to avoid every attempt of someone approaching them.

Unfortunately, his mom’s voice carried really loudly from the kitchen. 

"Tyler, you’re home already?" She appeared in the doorway, a phone pressed to her ear as she mumbled something to whoever was on the line. Her voice made Tyler shiver, her love already suffocating just from her presence. He loves his mother, but right now he really wishes that she would simply not notice their arrival. Tyler tasted metal in his mouth, his lower lip between his teeth. 

She approaches them and Tyler slowly dissociates, getting lost in his own thoughts.

"You’re early-" She cut herself off, glancing at Tyler, then, confused but curious, turning to Josh.

"Hi mom." Tyler looks away, running a hand through his hair, he turns to Josh and instantly adds, "Uh, this is Josh. We- um, we’re working on a project together." 

Her face softened into a smile immediately. She hangs up and walks over, chattering non-stop, "It’s so nice to meet you, Josh! Did your family just move here? Oh, sorry, I didn't expect guests. I didn't really prepare anything. Are you hungry? Do you want to have dinner with us? Come on boys-" She nearly pushed them to the kitchen.

She’s always like that whenever Tyler brings people home, it’s endearing, but so annoying. And embarrassing.

He cuts in before it gets too awkward.

"Mom, we really need to start working, thanks though!" He gave her a shy smile and tugged Josh by the fabric of his sleeve. Josh smiled as well, nodding and politely thanking her as Tyler practically dragged him toward the stairs.

The walk to Tyler’s room was silent. The stairs creaked due to age with every step they took, the annoying noise deafening. It’s familiar, Tyler could walk upstairs even with his eyes closed. He reminisces about his childhood, when he would spend half a day running up and down these stairs, playing tag with his brother.

Tyler awkwardly pushed open his bedroom door. "My room's a mess… sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck, shoving some clutter aside in a half-hearted attempt to make it look presentable.

Josh didn't seem to care, though. He carefully sat on the edge of Tyler’s bed, the grey sheets crumpled under his weight. He looked around, his gaze lingering curiously on the band posters plastered all over the walls. 

Tyler stuffs all of the sheets with crossed-out text in drawers, collecting the notebooks scattered around the room. Most of them are pointless, just little sketches that never see the light. All his actual work is kept in one place.

He has an idea.

"Hey, Josh?" Tyler walks towards him and sits down near him, but not too close. His mind immediately goes back to the previous day.. The only difference is that they're in Tyler's bedroom now. Even though the atmosphere is different, Tyler still feels that same warmth radiating from Josh.

Tyler leaned down, pulling out a notebook from under the bed with all the lyrics he wrote and felt good enough to put them here.

Josh scoots closer, curiosity lighting up on his face. "What’s that?"

Tyler hesitates and pauses for a second before answering. 

"It’s… uhm, just stuff, sometimes I write when I feel like it. Song lyrics. Ideas. Thought maybe we could use them." He ran a hand through his hair nervously, pulling his hair, but the tension worsened when Josh leaned even closer, grinning.

"No way! That’s awesome. You’re already an amazing singer, you play piano beautifully, and now you write too? What else are you good at?" Josh teased, putting his fingers down.

Tyler laughed shyly. "I also play basketball."

Josh gave him an exaggerated up-and-down look, biting his lip playfully. "Wow. A nerdy jock."

Tyler rolled his eyes, finally daring to push him lightly on the shoulder.

Josh laughed, rubbing his arm. "You’ve gotta show me-" He stuttered, "Well, only if you want to." Josh looked at the notebook Tyler was holding in his hand.

"Actually, I’ve got this one song… it doesn’t have a name yet, but whatever…" Tyler opened it, flipping through pages of text. and cautiously passed it to Josh. His eyes jumped from line to line, eyes flickering with wonder. He read it for what felt like ages, probably re-reading the same lines over and over.

He glanced up at Tyler with his mouth agape. Tyler thought he was prepared for any reaction, but when Josh's face lit up with admiration like Tyler was some kind of genius lyricist, he found himself speechless as well.

"Tyler, this is amazing, no- it’s breathtaking." Josh exhaled deeply. Then he added, "I can’t wait to play it."

Tyler, visibly flustered, tilted his head with a smile. Josh quickly started to explain himself. "Wait, that sounded weird, I promise I’m not trying to suck up to you, uh-" Tyler cut him off, his smile growing into a bigger one "I appreciate that, thanks." Josh huffed a laugh, and ducked his head in embarrassment.

Tyler pulled his knees up to his chest, not saying anything else. The silence consumed the room. Tyler needed a moment to unwind and process everything. He buried his nose in his knees, glancing at Josh. 

He liked the lyrics. That’s good. He didn’t freak out, he read Tyler's raw, incomprehensible thoughts and accepted them as something okay, beautiful, even. It was… good. But he already felt himself spiraling at the fact that Josh liked it. 

Spending time with Josh feels great. But the thought of getting attached makes him want to curl up and never face anyone ever. He wanted to be selfish, to be rude, to snap at him, so he would never talk to Tyler again. But even the mere thought of hurting Josh made his chest hurt, he’s not evil… But he’s scared. He doesn’t even know Josh that much, what if he’s the wrong person? Tyler is so stupid, he should have never opened up- 

"Tyler?" Josh’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed that they had been sitting in silence for so long. A nauseating feeling hit Tyler — aftermath of his running mind. "Are you okay?" Josh continued, his gaze full of concern. Tyler’s heart fluttered. He nodded, not finding it in himself to say anything back. Josh gave a subtle smile, his back hitting the bed. He patted the empty space beside him, signaling for Tyler to lay down next to him. 

The bed creaked as Tyler hesitantly shifted his body. He awkwardly put his palms on his stomach, but it didn’t take long for them to reach down, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie.

Josh looked up and said,"I have these… star things on my ceiling." Tyler turned his head, observing Josh, as he continued to talk. "My dad put them up when I was, like, eight or nine, and they’re still there!" Josh’s smile widened as he talked, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he spoke. Their thighs were pressed against each other, the warmth felt overwhelming. Tyler picked at the small string on the edge of fabric, fighting off the urge to pull away.

"Sometimes, when it’s really hard to fall asleep, I just count them until I drift off." Josh kept on talking. The comfort of the bed and his soothing voice made Tyler want to yawn and just fall asleep right there. He completely forgot about his previous concerns, the dreadful feeling gone without a trace. Tyler turned to lay on his back. He felt a strong, sweet scent mixed with the smell of wood and citrus. It made his head dizzy. Josh’s cologne is definitely now imprinted on his bedsheets. 

"Actually, do you wanna hangout? Like, outside of school work?" Tyler timidly blurted out, biting on his lip. Josh turned to face him, his grin turned even bigger, something Tyler thought was impossible.

"Sure!" He exclaimed with a toothy smile, propping himself on his elbows. Tyler smiled back too, sincerely, ducking his head.

The storm in his chest stilled for a moment.

Chapter Text

The study hall smelled of old wood and chipped paint. There were a few people there and there, scattered at different tables in different corners. Mark, Jenna, and Tyler often gathered here together, not so much to study as to just hang out together in silence. 

Tyler kept his gaze low, though he didn’t really focus on whatever was written down. Fingers reached to the pencil laying near, putting it back as quickly as he grabbed it. His back already felt sore.

A few claps snapped him out of his trance. 

Blinking, Tyler lifted his gaze from the paper and looked at Jenna, her hands still in front of him. Concern flickered across her face as she scanned him with her eyes.

“Are you okay?” She asked, leaning back with her arms crossed. 

Tyler nodded in response, though his mind was still floating somewhere else. Tapping his pencil in a steady rhythm, he slowly regained his focus on the paper in front of him. But the sight of all those crossed-out words only made his headache bloom more. With a groan, he slumped against the chair, the push made it swing back dangerously, almost losing its balance.

He hated this feeling — that annoying need for everything to be perfect that haunts him every time he tries to do something. It drives him crazy. Whatever he does never feels enough for him. It always ends up going downhill. The only thing that helped him escape was corrupted by his own curse of overthinking. He doesn’t know if he wants to break down in tears or snap this pencil in half.

“Tyler, you’re spacing out again. What are you even working on anyway?” Jenna leaned forward, her eyes eager to catch a glimpse of the paper.

Tyler flinched and slapped a hand over it, crumpling it. “Uh- it’s not finished.” He blurts, tossing the paper in his backpack with extra force. 

Blinking, Jenna gave him a slight, confused nod, leaning back in her chair.

Tyler chewed on his lip, guilt gnawing at him for shutting out his friend. “Sorry,” he muttered, “I just…”

Before he could finish, Jenna reached out, giving his forearm a gentle squeeze. She looked at Tyler, her eyes reassuring without words. Even though it was a simple gesture, it grounded him, distracting from the swarm of thoughts in his head. He let out a sigh, burying his head in his arms.

Tyler didn’t even notice when Mark closed his laptop. “Hey, man, you can still talk about what’s bothering you.” He softly smiled. Something about his calm tone eased the weight in Tyler’s chest, he felt his lips curling in a smile too. He felt like he had the greatest friends in the world; it’s such a shame he’s not that good of a friend to them.

After a long pause, Tyler started, “It’s nothing. Just… this assignment for the glee club is stressing me out. I can't come up with anything." His hand twitched towards his hair, tugging nervously at the curls. “It’s just a name, but literally nothing fits, it’s making me nervous.” Tyler bounced his leg.

Jenna shook her head, frowning. “You’re too hard on yourself, Ty.”

“I've been having issues with this assignment too.” Mark rested his chin on his hand; his stoic demeanor faltered, showing his nerves. At least he knew what Tyler was talking about.

Jenna’s head whipped to turn to Mark, a baffled look on her face. “Wait, what are you doing in a glee club?”

“That’s literally what I've been asking!” Tyler threw his hand in the air.

They both looked at Mark, whose eyes rapidly roamed around the room, looking anywhere but at Tyler and Jenna.

“Okay, okay! Don’t look at me like that!” He rolled his eyes, murmuring under his breath, “God, this is embarrassing.” 

He leaned forward, lowering to a near whisper. “It’s…” Mark paused, “I joined glee club because Lindsay’s in it. Thought we could spend more time together, but then I actually got paired up with her, and now I'm freaking out because, first, I really like her, second, I don't know shit about singing.” He spoke so fast that Tyler barely understood even half of what he was saying.

There was a beat of silence before both Tyler and Jenna let out a round of long, exaggerated “Oooh.”

“Oh shut up.” Mark audibly groaned, pressing his palms against his face. “Weren’t you all moody like two minutes ago?”

Tyler crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. “I'm an artist, it is both my job to be tragic and an asshole.” He flashed a toothy grin, and at that, Mark rolled his eyes.

Jenna let out a small chuckle. “At least you’re honest with yourself.” 

Tyler felt a sharp pang in his chest. Was he really?

The thought stuck now, as if it had been forced through the back of his head by a stapler, metal stuck to his skin, bleeding. Jenna’s casual comment brought up a part of him he didn’t really want to face. Tyler felt himself spiraling amidst the conversation, questioning whether he was being honest with himself or if he just shoved everything unfamiliar into a distant corner of his mind. Everything that happened in the past week finally got to him, catching him by surprise.

He knew why he was thinking about it. He just didn’t want to admit what was behind it. It might make it all too real. 

All his attempts to concentrate on the conversation failed. His mind kept wandering somewhere else until a gentle tap on his shoulder sent him back to reality.

Tyler jolted at the sudden touch, ready to snap at whoever was behind, only for it to be replaced by a flutter forming in his chest when he heard a familiar sound. He turned his head around only to find Josh behind him, muffling his laughter behind a palm. 

“Hey.” He said through laughs, flashing the biggest smile. Tyler couldn’t help but giggle too.

“Hi.” He replied, almost too soft and quiet, like it was not meant for anyone to hear except Josh. They laughed again; Josh’s voice dulled the noise of Tyler’s anxious thoughts.

Josh pointed to a seat next to Tyler. “Mind if I sit?” 

Before anyone could respond, he nodded, a little too eagerly. 

Josh’s grin widened, their knees brushing as he sat beside Tyler. He stiffened, heat creeping up his neck. He used all of his strength to keep a straight face.

Across the table, Jenna and Mark shared a strange look. Tyler caught that, panic stirring in his chest as he wondered just what possibly that look could mean. 

Jenna enthusiastically greeted Josh, flooding him with tons of questions. Mark waved a hand. Tyler barely listened to whatever was happening after that. He lowered his head, tugging at his hair and occasionally stealing glances in Josh's direction. His attention stayed fixed on the heat seeping through Josh's jeans; every brush of contact — it all was too distracting, he couldn’t even think about anything else.

His gaze kept drifting downward at the part where their legs slightly touched. A strange feeling formed in his stomach, something both terrifying and comforting.

What was it with Josh sitting a little too close?

Tyler bit the inside of his mouth, tasting bitter metal on his tongue. Josh must have felt Tyler’s gaze as he shifted, hesitantly moving his leg away. The contact was gone, and Tyler instantly missed it, the closeness, the odd comfort it gave him. He immediately pushed the thought away. 

There was something deeply wrong with him.

Josh cleared his throat and glanced around awkwardly, fiddling with the fabric of his shirt sleeve, the worn-out band tee suddenly more interesting than whatever they were talking about.

An awkward silence settled in the air. Jenna opened her mouth, about to say something, but before she could, Nick interrupted her. He approached the table, waving his hand and plopping down with them uninvited.

“Hey guys, what are you talking about?” Nick raised a brow.

Tyler stiffened as Mark replied, “Glee club stuff.” He shrugged. 

Nick huffed a laugh, probably assuming that it was a joke. But when silence stretched on for a moment, his brows furrowed in something between confusion and disgust.

“You’re kidding, right? You’re in that choir? It’s like, just a bunch of nerds singing and dancing.”

“Hey.” Josh shot him a judgmental look. Nick didn’t even acknowledge his presence. He didn't care about Josh’s opinion, and Tyler probably knew why. It’s honestly shocking how they’re still friends considering how often Tyler falls victim to Nick’s “friendly” mocking just because of stuff he likes. 

Nick’s gaze slid through all the people at the table, searching for any sign of agreement. Not like he needed it to continue, “I thought you were better than that.”

“Dude, chill. It’s just a club.” Mark snapped, side-eyeing him.

“Yeah, a gay club. A big gay club of dancing gays.”

A round of offended exclamations was heard at the table. 

Tyler’s stomach dropped. 

Does it really look like that?

He felt like all the air suddenly was punched out of his lungs, surroundings fading into one dull noise in his head. He completely drifted out of the conversation. A lump formed in his throat as he struggled to even out his breathing, swallowing hard, limp hands twitching at his sides. His whole body suddenly felt too heavy for him. 

Tyler is just sensitive, he’s emotional, he’s a bit odd. He’s not gay. It shouldn’t have affected him that much; he should have brushed it off like everyone else did.

Why does he feel everything so deeply?

 He clenched his fists, feeling like he was on the verge of tears.

But what if people at school thought he liked boys? What if his family found out?

He felt dirty. He felt a burning need to sink his fingernails deep, deep into his skin, to leave marks, to scrub off all the filth until the feeling disappeared. He felt disgusting. He felt dizzy. All his worries were unraveling down on him at that moment. He wanted to cry. He wanted to run away, get out of here, and leave it all behind. 

God, Tyler, can you pull yourself together? It’s just a joke.

He looked down at the table filled with textbooks and paper, then at the window beside them, failing to focus on the outdoors. He tried to grasp onto anything to use it as a distraction, to drown out the ringing in his ears, something to replace the twisting in his stomach.

Then he felt it, fingertips brushing lightly at his side, not quite touching, but enough to anchor him. He glanced over to Josh, his eyes offering nothing more than a quiet look of understanding before turning away. Tyler’s heart ached; his panic melted into something else entirely. Still overwhelming, but in a good way. Tyler wanted to wrap himself in this warm feeling.

But when he looked at Josh once again, he saw nothing but a quiet frustration on his face. His lips were pressed in a thin line, like he was on the verge of snapping.

“Wow,” Josh let out a dry chuckle, rolling his eyes. “Do you know when to shut up?” 

Nick’s sarcastic demeanor suddenly evaporated, being replaced by a frown.

“Do you know how to mind your own business?” Nick spat. He didn’t let Josh reply; he continued, a smirk tugging on his lips. “Hey, Tyler, maybe you should teach your boyfriend some manners.”

Silence.

He felt like he was about to throw up. Anxious nausea twisting in his stomach is unbearable, everything is suddenly too overwhelming. He presses his hands to his thighs, suppressing a surge of panic settling inside of him. 

Tyler didn’t even notice Josh standing up from the table. He acknowledged his absence only when he heard a loud slam and gasps cutting through the silence, as Josh's fist connected with Nick's nose. He grunted, his eyes watering from pain as he grabbed Josh’s hand that was clutching tightly at his collar, releasing himself from his grasp. Josh huffed, his voice strained and rough. 

Nick’s knuckles slammed hard against Josh’s mouth. His lower lip split open, a tremendous amount of blood flowing down. Red staining his chin and neck, drops soaking in the fabric of his shirt. Josh lost his balance for a moment. Nick used it and shoved an elbow in Josh’s stomach, then again. A ragged breath came out of his throat as he coughed, grabbing onto his ribs. For a second, Tyler trembled at the thought that Josh might’ve broken something.

Mark jumped from his seat and stood between them, trying to pull them apart. Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh’s waist, practically dragging him away from more trouble as Josh struggled against his grip. He gasped for breath heavily, warm blood still dripping on the floor.

Nick pushed Mark out of his way. He breathed, frustration and rage coursing through his veins. “Fucking freaks.”

Tyler’s vision blurred from shock, but he still held on tight. He could feel Josh’s heart pounding rapidly as he spat more curses in Nick’s direction.

Tyler let him go a moment after. Josh’s hands were still shaking from adrenaline; he hissed and winced from pain, lightly touching his slit chin.

Jenna ran up to them. “Are you guys okay? Josh, is everything alright?” Tyler could see her murmuring something under her breath.

Josh’s reaction made him feel better. The fact that those words affected him as much as they had affected Tyler brought him comfort. He was not the only one to feel conflicted, even if it was just a stupid joke.

“Tyler?” 

He turned his head to look at Josh, squinting as his eyes traced over the bruises and cuts, he clicked his tongue. His chest tightened. Josh looked like a kicked puppy.

“There’s no way you’re thinking that it’s your fault.” Tyler furrowed his brows, taking another good look at Josh’s lips. He studied his face. Dried blood clung to the corners. It was a mess. 

Josh opened his mouth, then closed it, looking away. Tyler sighed, lowering his head. “Josh, it’s okay.” He took a step closer, a tissue in his hand to clean up the leftover blood. “ ’m just… worried.” He ran his tongue across his crooked teeth and bit his cheek. Every time Tyler’s fingertips would accidentally brush lightly against the wound, Josh would suck in a sharp breath. 

He hissed, wincing from the sting, “You know you’re not obligated to take care of me. I'm fine.”

He did not look fine. There was a bruise here and here, and a cut that ran from the inside of his mouth down to his chin, a massive bruise already blooming with purple.

Tyler raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t pretend like you’re not enjoying it,” he said, a small, smug smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he continued to wipe away the blood. Josh choked on air.

Tyler leaned back, holding out the stained tissue, and grimaced, tossing it aside. 

Every time Tyler’s fingertips would accidentally brush lightly against the wound, Josh would suck in a sharp breath. 

“I’m still sorry…” Josh murmured. “I don’t regret it though.” Josh looked away, huffing a laugh. Their faces were inches apart.

“He was a dick,” Tyler mumbled, looking down. “He deserved it.” 

After a pause, Josh continued, “You’re good at this.” Their eyes met. 

Tyler blinked, confused. “Huh?” 

“This whole-” Josh waved a hand around the room, shrugging, “treating wounds thing.” 

Tyler’s arm froze in the air. He nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes briefly looked at his wrist.

“I thought about the assignment today.” Tyler blurted out, desperate to distract his brain that was ready to unwrap some parts of it he didn’t really want to unwrap. “Well, I tried to come up with a title, but it’s just… nothing.” He shook his head, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips.

Tyler looked down at the tiles in his bathroom. Josh had insisted on leaving without seeing the nurse. It was honestly impressive how he managed to walk to Tyler’s house without really struggling, considering he took at least two hits to the stomach.

Josh looked up, lost in thought. He furrowed his brows, pouting his bruised lip. “I can come up with the title.” He offered, looking at Tyler with a faint smile.

Tyler thought about it. It would be nice to relieve himself of that burden; he is sure that whatever Josh offers is going to be good. It's a group project after all… and he hadn't had an opportunity to make a contribution to it.

Then realization hit him. 

“Wait,” he snapped his head up, locking eyes with Josh. “You don’t sing, right?” 

Josh nodded.

Tyler bit his lower lip, feeling guilt forming in his stomach. “Then… what do you do?” 

Josh chuckled. “I play drums!”

Drums. That fit him perfectly. Of course, he looked like the type.

Tyler’s mouth slightly fell open, his crooked teeth peeking out. He pictured it in his mind: Josh behind a drum kit, muscles tensing with every hit of the drumstick. He let out a shaky breath. Josh might be the coolest person he’d ever met.

Tyler ducked his head, cheeks warming. “Can’t believe I never actually asked you that.”

He opened a drawer, rummaging through it for a moment. Turning to Josh, he pulled out a pack of sterile dressings and unfolded one. After soaking it in sanitizer, he leaned forward and carefully pressed it against the right side of Josh’s chin. The dressing wouldn't cover his lip, but it would shield the rest of the cut.

“I don’t have much to offer… let’s hope this helps.” He said with a small shrug, lips pressed into a thin line. Half of Josh’s jaw was now covered by the white gauze.

Josh gently brushed his fingers over the fabric, checking his reflection in the mirror beside Tyler. He ran a hand through his washed-out light red curls. “You still helped me,” he said softly, “so… thanks.” I really appreciate that.” 

Tyler really tried not to stare at the smile Josh flashed him. He watched as he turned back to the mirror, stretching his neck in the mirror, feeling the fabric. Tyler swallowed.

“It’s no big deal,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, unsure what to do with his hands, or with himself.

They stood like that for a minute or two.

“Uh…” Josh broke the silence, his voice unsure. He started nervously tapping his finger on his thigh. “I think we should… get back?” He gestured toward the bathroom door with a thumb over his shoulder.

“Oh, right, yeah.” Tyler stuttered, half turned to leave, but Josh’s hand landed on his shoulder, stopping him mid-step. The touch sent a jolt through him. His shoulder tensed, he looked up, eyes meeting Josh’s.

“Doyouwannahangoutlater?” Josh blurted out, words blending into one incomprehensible sound.

Tyler blinked, tilting his head to the side. “What?”

Josh took a deep breath. “Do you wanna hang out again? Like, get some food or something… Last time was pretty great, maybe we could do it again?” Josh rubbed the back of his neck, looking away.

Tyler blinked again, his eyes snapping to the hand that was still resting on his shoulder. Excitement overwhelmed him so much he wanted to giggle and kick his feet in the air like an idiot. His fingertips twitched at the side, desperate to let out the pent-up energy.

“Yeah, sure.” Tyler replied, trying hard to sound casual, but the tiny crack in his voice betrayed him, giving away the thrill buzzing in his chest. 

Josh bit his lip, a subtle smile playing on his face. “Tomorrow?”

“Actually,” Tyler said, a playful grin spreading across his lips, “you owe me.” 

Josh raised a brow. “Oh yeah?” His voice strained.

“You heard me sing.” Tyler dragged on, a hint of tease in his voice. “Now I wanna hear you play.”

Josh stood there for a second, then let out a sigh, laughing under his breath. “Man, you scared me.” He shook his head, still not letting go of Tyler’s shoulder — he didn’t mind though. “Okay! Yeah.” Josh nodded a little too fast, his grin growing wider.

The forgotten door creaked, letting in the warm, golden light, a contrast to the harsh, fluorescent blue in the bathroom. Jenna peeked out the doorframe, glancing around. 

“Is everything- oh! Am I… interrupting something?” She awkwardly looked back and forth between Josh and Tyler.

Tyler raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” 

Jenna narrowed her eyes. “Yeah… right. Anyway, is everything alright?”

Josh turned to her, an endearing, kinda childlike grin forming on his lips as he pointed to the white dressing covering a quarter of his face. 

“Well, I think my nurse did a pretty good job if you ask me.” Josh waggishly shrugged. He knew exactly what he was doing; it was obvious by the way he turned his head back to Tyler, as if looking for his approval, or reaction. 

Tyler felt his cheek flush. He stood there like a deer in headlights.

Josh is going to be the death of him.