Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

the dining room is too quiet.

joshua sits with his back straight, hands folded in his lap like he's at a tea party he never asked to attend. the chandelier above casts gold light over the polished table, the crystal glasses, and the untouched food. his mother dabs her lips with a napkin even though she hasn't eaten a bite.

"you'll be well taken care of," she says.

joshua's jaw tightens. "that's not the same as being wanted."

his father clears his throat. "the yoon family has a solid name. their son — he's stable, educated, successful—"

"unavailable. emotionally or otherwise," joshua cuts in softly. "he didn't even show up."

"he sent a lawyer," his mother offers, like that helps. "it's professional."

joshua breathes out through his nose and leans back in his chair, tired in a way that feels older than he is. he knows what this is. his family is in debt, their name teetering on the edge of collapse. jeonghan's family is doing them a favor. he's the pawn in the middle of the board. the pretty, pliable omega with the perfect scent match and the passive temper to make it easy.

he's soft. agreeable. marketable. but he's not stupid.

"fine," he says, finally. "i'll sign it."

the same night, his luggage was dropped at the alpha's residence.

the apartment was too clean.

joshua drags his suitcase through the front door, the wheels soundless over sleek hardwood floors. the place smells like cedarwood and barely-used cologne. everything is black, white, or glass. even the couch looks like it would rather not be touched.

he lets out a breath and closes the door behind him.

the bond contract burned his fingers when he signed it. he told himself it was psychological, but something about the ink, the commitment, the marking clause — it made his skin prickle. no actual mating. no heat claim. no physical bonding, unless mutually agreed upon. a year minimum. option for renewal. it sounds like a lease agreement. a roommate situation. but worse, because it's wrapped in omegaverse tradition and enforced by bloodline politics.

"you're early."

the voice comes from the hallway. deeper than he expected. smooth, almost lazy.

joshua turns.

and there he is — yoon jeonghan.

he's taller than in the pictures, broad-shouldered in a fitted black button-down that's unbuttoned one too many notches. his sleeves are rolled to his forearms, hair pushed back, revealing sharp eyes and sharper cheekbones. the way he's leaning against the doorframe is effortless, like he's been doing it all his life.

joshua blinks. then looks away.

"you weren't here when the papers were signed," he says, voice soft but cool. "thought you might skip this part too."

jeonghan raises a brow, amused. "and miss the grand arrival of my contract-bound omega? never."

joshua rolls his eyes, wheeling the suitcase past him. "i'm not unwrapping a ribbon and posing for a photo-op. calm down."

jeonghan lets out a low chuckle behind him, and joshua's ears turn pink.

"pleased to make your acquaintance.." he trails off and joshua was bewildered, thinking the alpha didn't even know the name of the omega he was bonded with.

"hong." jeonghan completes. well, atleast he knows his last name.

but rather than digging deep in his thoughts, joshua couldn't help but notice — the man smells good, and it was annoying.

the guest bedroom is cold.

joshua stares at the minimalist decor — gray bedding, silver lamps, a glass desk — and sets his things down with a quiet sigh. there's no scent here. no softness. no signs of a home. it's like jeonghan was expecting a business associate, not a mate. he flops onto the bed, face-down, and buries a groan into the pillow.

three minutes later, a knock.

he turns his head, just enough to glare toward the door. "yes?"

jeonghan opens it anyway.

"just checking you didn't fall and hit your head. wouldn't want a lawsuit on day one."

"don't worry," joshua mutters, lifting himself up. "my pride broke the fall."

jeonghan leans against the doorframe again. it's becoming a theme. his arms are crossed now, gaze unreadable.

"this isn't going to work if you're sulking all the time."

"i'm not sulking," joshua says. "i'm adjusting."

"same thing."

"no, it's not." he stands, slow, arms folded. "sulking is emotional. adjusting is logical. which is the language you clearly speak, so i thought i'd try."

jeonghan's lips twitch. "you're not what i expected."

"you expected docile?"

"i expected quiet."

joshua tilts his head. "i am quiet."

"you're loud in all the ways that count."

the tension hangs between them like thread pulled too tight.

joshua's breath catches slightly. jeonghan's eyes flick down — just briefly — to the line of joshua's collarbone, visible through his soft cream sweater. it's subtle, but joshua sees it. feels it. his pulse jumps.

he steps back, breaking the moment.

"if you're done inspecting your purchase, i'd like some privacy."

jeonghan hums low in his throat. "you'll be safe here," he says, finally. "that's all i'm offering." and then he leaves.

and joshua doesn't sleep much.

he lies awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the way jeonghan looked at him. like he was a puzzle. or a problem. or something beautiful that didn't fit on the shelf.

he hates that it made him blush. he hates that his heart skipped when jeonghan's voice dipped low. he hates that some stupid part of his omega instincts likes being told he's safe. even if it's not real. even if it's just a legal obligation. his heat isn't due for weeks, but his body's already reacting to proximity. to scent. to tone. he presses his thighs together beneath the blankets, cheeks burning from the rushing blood.

"nope," he whispers to himself, flipping over. "we're not doing this."

but god. the way jeonghan smells.

and before he knew it, it was morning. and that morning came too bright.

joshua drags himself into the kitchen, hair mussed, sleeves hanging over his hands. jeonghan is already there, standing by the coffee machine shirtless, in black sweatpants that hang too low on his hips.

joshua stares. then immediately looks away.

"you sleep okay?" jeonghan asks, not looking up.

"mm."

"that a yes?"

"that's a none of your business."

jeonghan chuckles, low and amused. "snarky in the morning. cute."

joshua glares, but the heat crawling up his neck betrays him. he pulls a mug from the cabinet and starts pouring coffee.

jeonghan leans against the counter next to him. "you know, i could've just paid your family off without taking you in."

"and yet here we are," joshua mutters, sipping slowly. "must be my charm. besides, why would someone like you be charitable."

"it's not the charm," jeonghan murmurs. "it's the scent. and you're right, i'm not that charitable."

joshua's hand stills. jeonghan turns, voice lower now. "i've had a headache since you got here. it's maddening."

joshua looks up at him, wide-eyed. "then maybe you should keep your distance."

"maybe i should," jeonghan says, stepping in anyway.

they're close now. too close. joshua's back hits the counter, breath hitching. jeonghan's hands don't touch him, but they could — and joshua's skin is already buzzing.

he swallows. "you said this was just safety. no touching. no—"

"i'm not touching you."

"you're thinking about it."

jeonghan smirks. "are you?"

joshua narrows his eyes, cheeks flushed pink. "you're annoying."

"you're blushing."

"shut up."

and then joshua pushes past him, mug in hand, heart thundering in his chest. he doesn't see the way jeonghan watches him walk away. doesn't hear the quiet exhale he lets out after the door closes. doesn't feel the way jeonghan's restraint is already beginning to wear thin.

but he knows. they both know. this arrangement is going to ruin them. or it's going to be the beginning of something neither of them are ready for.

t b c

Chapter Text

joshua signed the bond contract with fingers that trembled only slightly.

the pen clicked too loud in the silent room. jeonghan was seated across the glass table, legs crossed, expression unreadable. his suit jacket hung perfectly on his broad shoulders, collar crisp, not a hair out of place. the legal representative sat beside him, tapping a tablet to confirm biometric signatures. it was all very modern, very impersonal.

nothing about it felt like a mating. nothing about it felt like a home.

"no consummation clause," jeonghan had said earlier, flipping through the contract like it bored him. "unless mutually agreed upon."

joshua had raised a brow. "that's a very polite way of saying you're not planning to touch me."

jeonghan had only looked up once, gaze slow, dark, and far too amused. "not unless you beg."

that had made joshua blush — bright and immediate. and furious.

"dream on, alpha."

"i don't dream about omegas who dress like interns," jeonghan had muttered, eyes sliding down his oversized sweater and soft gray shorts.

joshua had turned his back, hair bouncing, ears hot. "rude."

they'd signed anyway.

and now the contract was sealed, digital and legally binding, no different from any business merger. they were alpha and omega, bonded on paper and nowhere else.

jeonghan was charming in public. press photos from the company's gala showed him with a perfect smile, hand resting lightly at joshua's back as if they were a long-time couple. he said all the right things, called joshua my partner with a press-trained glint in his eye. joshua played along, lips parted in a soft smile, lashes low, voice delicate and just the right amount of mysterious.

and then the doors would close, and jeonghan would shrug off the warmth like a coat.

in private, he barely looked at him.

he worked late, came home with his sleeves rolled up, smelling like cologne and exhaustion. joshua would be curled on the couch with tea or stretched on the kitchen counter in silk pajamas. they shared meals, but not conversations. they shared a bond, but not a connection.

"your cooking is edible," jeonghan said once, chewing slowly on a bite of joshua's lemon pasta.

joshua blinked. "i didn't cook it."

jeonghan remained silent, for a minute.

"...you reheated it well."

"thanks," joshua said dryly. "it's nice to be appreciated."

jeonghan didn't smile, but his lips twitched.

and their days went on. cold shrugs and eye contacts for less than a second. and one day...

it started with the spice rack.

joshua was bored. and when he was bored, he nested. so naturally, he rearranged the kitchen. alphabetized the spices. put the coffee mugs on the lower shelf. moved the fancy wine glasses into a display cabinet that made more sense. when jeonghan walked in that evening and reached for the salt — only to find it missing — he froze.

"what... what the hell."

joshua turned from the sink, blinking innocently. "i reorganized. you had the soy sauce next to the cinnamon. are you a sociopath?"

"that's not how this apartment works."

"it is now," joshua said sweetly.

jeonghan opened a drawer, saw labeled dividers for cutlery, and visibly twitched.

"you're lucky you're cute," he muttered, turning back to the fridge.

joshua smirked, heart doing a stupid flutter. 'he thinks i'm cute?'

"you're lucky i didn't throw out those hideous protein bars," joshua countered. "seriously, what's in them? gravel?"

"they have 27 grams of protein."

"and the flavor of cardboard. i licked one and immediately regretted existing."

jeonghan rolled his eyes, but his shoulders had relaxed. and he didn't change the kitchen back.

and the late-night run-ins was inevitable.

joshua had just showered, hair damp, skin dewy, wearing his favorite silk shorts and a cropped tee with a sleepy kitten print. he padded into the kitchen, humming under his breath, and stopped short.

jeonghan was already there. in a tank top. his biceps were obscene. the fridge door was open, casting him in cool blue light, hair messy from sleep, eyes half-lidded. joshua gawked for two whole seconds before pretending not to care.

"late night craving?" he asked, voice soft but playful.

jeonghan didn't look at him at first. he reached in, grabbed a bottle of water, and shut the door. when he finally turned, his gaze dragged up joshua's legs in a way that made the omega's skin prickle.

"could say the same," jeonghan muttered.

joshua flushed instantly. "i meant food."

"sure you did."

joshua rolled his eyes and went to the cupboard. he could feel jeonghan watching as he stretched on tiptoe for the cereal box, his shirt rising just enough to show the curve of his lower back.

"you have a stool, you know," jeonghan said.

"but then you wouldn't get a show."

that startled a laugh out of the alpha. low, warm, and not entirely disapproving.

joshua turned, cereal in hand, trying not to show how hot his cheeks were. they stood in silence, only the sound of cereal crunching in joshua's bowl breaking the tension. jeonghan leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, watching him with an unreadable expression.

"why did you agree to this?" he asked suddenly.

joshua looked up. "you mean the bond?"

jeonghan nodded.

joshua shrugged, stirring the cereal with his spoon. "my mother thinks you're respectable. stable. also rich."

"and you listen to your mother?"

joshua smiled faintly. "only when it's convenient."

jeonghan tilted his head, curious. "so you don't want this either."

"did i seem enthusiastic?" joshua asked, voice airy.

"you seemed... resigned."

joshua met his gaze. "i thought you weren't interested in knowing me."

"i'm not," jeonghan said bluntly. "but if we're going to live together, i'd rather not play twenty questions in front of reporters."

joshua looked down. "well. i'm not here to ruin your perfect alpha image."

jeonghan pushed off the counter, moving closer. "you're not ruining anything."

he was too close now, heat radiating from his body, scent clean and sharp, something spiced and expensive. joshua felt himself sway slightly, breath catching. he hated how good he smelled. how big he was. how his voice dropped just enough to make joshua's thighs press together.

"you always look like you're thinking something snarky," jeonghan said, voice low.

joshua blinked up at him. "maybe i am."

"you blush too much to get away with it."

joshua glared. "i do not—"

"you're blushing right now."

joshua shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth just to shut up. his face was on fire. jeonghan laughed again, soft this time. genuine. and for one breathless second, joshua felt something crack — just a hairline fracture — in that wall between them.

maybe it wasn't hate.

maybe it was tension, waiting to snap.

later, in bed, joshua curled under the sheets and stared at the ceiling.

his room smelled faintly of lavender, and of something else — something alpha, just on the edge of his senses.

he hated how aware he was. of the other bedroom. of the way jeonghan walked. the sound of his voice. the stupid dip of his dimple when he almost smiled. this bond was supposed to be formal. clean. like a contract. but joshua had seen the way jeonghan's eyes lingered when he was half-dressed. and jeonghan... jeonghan definitely noticed how joshua reacted to him. maybe it was nothing. maybe it was dangerous. either way, joshua couldn't stop thinking about it.

especially when he touched himself under the covers that night, silent and pink-faced, trying not to imagine strong hands and a deep voice and a tank top that should honestly be illegal.

he came with a quiet gasp, biting his wrist to muffle it, and curled tighter beneath the sheets.

"not interested," he whispered bitterly into the pillow.

liar.

t b c

Chapter Text

the scent hits jeonghan when he least expects it.

he's fresh out of the shower, damp hair curling at the nape of his neck, shirtless and annoyed because he remembered joshua saying he liked the smell of the lavender body wash jeonghan was using and stole it from his bathroom again. the apartment's quiet, save for the soft hum of the fridge and the muted buzz of city life outside the balcony door. he pads into the kitchen barefoot, only to stop mid-step like he's run into an invisible wall.

because the air is thick with something sweet. warm. almost dizzying.

and it's coming from joshua.

he's standing near the sink, sipping iced coffee from a mason jar, wearing one of those tiny shorts again — pale blue, far too snug, exposing creamy thighs and a strip of soft skin above the waistband. jeonghan stares, unblinking, as joshua turns slightly, revealing more of his profile: delicate neck, flushed cheeks, lashes fluttering like he knows exactly what he's doing.

"what?" joshua blinks at him, voice soft, a little defensive. "you're staring."

"you're... scenting," jeonghan says, slowly, like the words are foreign in his mouth.

joshua's eyes widen for a split second. then narrow. "i am not."

"you are," jeonghan says, voice dropping. "it's faint, but it's there."

joshua rolls his eyes. "well, sorry. didn't realize i needed to ask your permission to exist."

jeonghan moves closer without thinking, the scent pulling at something deep in his chest. it's subtle, like sugar melting on warm skin, like linen dried in the sun. he hates how it makes his pulse quicken, hates how his fingers twitch like they want to touch.

"i'm not — doing this on purpose," joshua adds quickly, backing up until he's pressed against the counter. "i didn't even know this was a thing that happened. i thought... scenting was supposed to start during heat."

"sometimes the body adjusts early," jeonghan murmurs. "especially if it feels safe."

joshua blinks again. "i don't feel safe."

"you do," jeonghan says, too close now, voice low. "your scent wouldn't change otherwise."

it's not fair — how close they are, how warm joshua looks, flushed and wide-eyed and breathing a little too fast. jeonghan doesn't even realize he's caging him in with an arm on either side until joshua lets out a shaky exhale.

"back off," joshua whispers, but his voice lacks any real bite. "you said you weren't offering anything but safety."

"this isn't —" jeonghan grits his teeth, dragging his eyes away from the curve of joshua's mouth. "i didn't expect this to happen."

"clearly," joshua mutters, glancing down at jeonghan's bare chest before quickly looking away.

the silence stretches. joshua's breath hitches. jeonghan's hand twitches like it wants to touch his cheek, brush that stupid strand of hair behind his ear, tilt his chin up and —

"don't," joshua says suddenly, barely audible.

jeonghan stills. "i wasn't —"

"you were."

they're close enough to kiss. it would take nothing — just a tilt forward, a brush of lips. jeonghan's never wanted to ruin someone so slowly. joshua looks soft. like warm sugar and sharp spice, like he'd taste like summer and regret.

"don't look at me like that," joshua whispers, eyes shimmering.

"like what?"

"like you want me and hate me at the same time."

jeonghan breathes through his nose, trying to shake off the dizzying scent. he steps back before he does something stupid, fists clenching at his sides.

joshua immediately folds in on himself, arms wrapping around his own waist. he looks... cold.

"i'm going out," jeonghan says roughly, already heading toward the door.

"running away?"

jeonghan pauses. he doesn't look back. "cooling off."

the door shuts harder than necessary.

joshua feels a sting in his chest. but he doesn't cry. he makes tea instead.

he sits on the couch with a fluffy blanket pulled up to his nose, the steam fogging his glasses. he hates how quiet the apartment is without jeonghan's presence, hates that it smells like him now — fresh soap, subtle musk, a hint of cedar from his cologne.

he didn't mean to scent.

well, maybe he did. maybe he liked the way jeonghan's eyes darkened, the way his jaw clenched and hands fisted like he was barely holding himself together. maybe he wanted to see how long it would take before jeonghan broke his own rules.

but then he left.

the rejection stings more than joshua expects.

but he can't blame jeonghan for leaving because he was the one who avoided it, or atleast told jeonghan to back off.

he doesn't care about an alpha not wanting him, but something about jeonghan is different. he's not cruel, not careless. just distant. cold in ways that are deliberate, calculated. and yet — he noticed the way jeonghan always handed him the mug with the handle turned right, or the way he refilled the pantry with joshua's favorite snacks, no questions asked.

he cares. just not enough.

joshua takes a shaky breath and curls tighter into the blanket. his body still aches faintly, like the scenting left behind a mark that hasn't faded. he feels... embarrassed. vulnerable. angry.

he wanted that kiss.

not just for the heat of it, but for what it meant — acknowledgement. acceptance. a crack in jeonghan's perfect mask.

but instead, jeonghan ran.

jeonghan drove aimlessly for hours.

the city blurs past in streaks of red and yellow, his hands gripping the wheel like it'll ground him. he can still smell joshua — lingering in his skin, like static clinging to his clothes. it's unbearable. he's angry. at himself, mostly. for reacting like a teenager, for letting a soft scent and a bratty voice get under his skin. for almost kissing him.

he'd promised joshua safety. and now — he's messed it up.

the omega's scent was like a punch to the gut. not because it was overwhelming, but because it was intimate. subconscious. the kind of signal an omega doesn't send unless their body trusts you.

and joshua doesn't trust him. not yet.

jeonghan bangs his head softly against the headrest. sighs.

it wasn't supposed to be like this.

he didn't want a mate. didn't want someone messing with his routine, rearranging his kitchen, lounging around the house in shorts that should be illegal. he just wanted someone to help him out with his rut but here he was, overthinking about this omega's feelings and safety. he didn't want to notice the way joshua blushed when he was flustered, or how he bit his lip when he was trying not to smile.

but he did. and now it's too late to unsee it.

he goes back home around midnight.

the apartment is dark except for the faint glow of a lamp near the couch. joshua's asleep, curled up in the corner with the blanket still wrapped around him, glasses askew and mug half-finished on the table.

jeonghan exhales, something heavy sitting in his chest.

he crouches beside the couch. brushes the hair out of joshua's face. the omega shifts, murmurs something in his sleep, and presses closer to the blanket like he's searching for warmth.

his fingers still in joshua's hair, jeonghan lets himself stare. the sharp edges he always keeps up — the practiced coldness, the layers of disinterest — all of it falters when he sees how delicate joshua looks like this. soft pink lips parted with sleep, lashes casting shadows on pale cheeks, skin almost too perfect to be real. jeonghan hadn't let himself think it before — hadn't dared — but now, in the quiet glow of the room, with joshua completely unaware, the thought slips in: he's beautiful. unfairly so. there's something gentle and breakable about him, something almost feminine in the curve of his jaw, the softness of his mouth. it makes something deep in jeonghan tighten. makes him want to touch. makes him want to ruin.

jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek.

then, softly — too softly:

"you'll be safe here," he whispers. "that's all i'm offering."

and maybe — maybe that's the problem.

because part of him wants to offer more.

t b c

Chapter Text

the next day, joshua's bathroom sink burst. not metaphorically — literally. the maintenance team said they'd need two days, max, to fix it. which meant, for forty-eight hours, he had to use jeonghan's everything. his shower. his counter. his mirror. his scent.

he hated it.

the bathroom was steamy the first morning he stepped in — jeonghan had just gotten out, towel hanging low on his hips, droplets clinging to his chest. joshua had caught sight of him from the hallway, turned a deeper red than the apple he was pretending to eat, and backed into the wall like a cartoon character.

jeonghan had raised an eyebrow. "you okay there, sunshine?"

joshua hadn't responded. just muttered something about alphas being disgusting and locked himself in the bathroom.

but it didn't help.

his scent was everywhere. on the towel. the soap. the edge of the sink where jeonghan always leaned with his forearms.

and joshua — gods — joshua was starting to react.

later that day, the rulemaking started with jeonghan tossing a pen across the table.

"no touching," he said flatly, leaning back in his chair like he couldn't be bothered to look up. "unless necessary."

joshua scoffed, head tilted, arms crossed over his chest. "define necessary. because you standing too close to me when we were brush our teeth already feels like a violation."

jeonghan didn't reply. didn't even smirk. just handed him the list of clauses and rules his lawyer had pre-drafted — of course he had legal rules for a bond neither of them asked for.

"no emotional questions," jeonghan added. "i don't want to know about your childhood or your favorite color or what your dream wedding would look like."

"i'd never tell you any of that anyway," joshua replied, snatching the list and scribbling something on it. "also, no claiming. physical or scent."

jeonghan hesitated at that one, just a moment too long.

"you're the one who insisted on two bedrooms," joshua reminded him sweetly. "don't catch feelings and start sniffing me at night."

"i wouldn't," jeonghan said, too quickly.

a pause.

then joshua smiled, smug and bratty. "you already have."

jeonghan stood up before he said something reckless.

by the third shared morning, the mirror was fogged again, and joshua had just gotten out of the shower, towel loosely hanging off his hips. he was patting his face dry when he saw jeonghan's reflection behind him, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"you always walk around like that?" jeonghan asked, voice rough from sleep.

joshua met his gaze in the mirror. "you always creep into bathrooms without knocking?"

"it's mine."

joshua turned then, water still dripping from the ends of his hair. "well, for now, it's shared. so keep your eyes on your side."

jeonghan didn't look away. his eyes dropped — lazily, pointedly — to the way the towel hugged joshua's quite slim waist. the thin trail of water down his chest. the pink flush creeping across his cheeks and collarbones.

"your scent's changing," jeonghan said suddenly, almost too low to hear.

joshua froze.

he could feel it too. the way his body had started adjusting, responding. scent glands a little more sensitive. warmth building beneath his skin that hadn't been there a week ago. he had a full month left before heat, but the suppressant shipment was late and his body was... noticing things.

jeonghan's presence.

his scent.

his stupid, perfect face.

"get out," joshua whispered, barely able to meet his gaze.

jeonghan didn't move. "your towel's slipping."

"i said get out," joshua snapped, voice shaking, and jeonghan finally left, slamming the door behind him.

joshua leaned over the sink, breathing hard. hating the way his body trembled. hating that his thighs pressed together on instinct. hating that his mind was flooded with images of jeonghan's mouth against his neck. his hands against —

he cursed softly and turned on the cold tap.

that night, joshua came into the kitchen late, wearing a hoodie and shorts that clung a little too well to his hips. jeonghan was already there, shirtless in grey sweats, drinking water from the bottle like a menace.

they locked eyes.

jeonghan didn't speak. joshua's scent hit him again — richer now, more noticeable. sweet like honey warmed on skin, like something he wasn't supposed to want.

he clenched his jaw and turned away, slamming the fridge shut a little too hard.

"stop doing that," joshua said, stepping closer.

"doing what."

"looking at me like that."

jeonghan turned, slow and deliberate. "i'm not looking at you like anything."

"liar."

they were close now. not even a breath of space between them. joshua looked up, eyes wide and flushed and irritated.

"you hate me," he said, voice almost a whisper. "so why — why do you keep looking at me like you want to —"

"i don't hate you," jeonghan said suddenly, too fast.

the air between them crackled. thick with something sharp and hot.

joshua swallowed. "then what is it?"

jeonghan didn't answer. just looked at him — really looked — and joshua felt it in his spine. the way jeonghan's eyes roamed across his lips, lingered at the flutter of his lashes. the way his fingers twitched like they wanted to reach out and touch, hold, drag him closer.

and maybe it was instinct or maybe it was something deeper, but joshua leaned forward.

jeonghan did too.

and for one breathless, reckless second, their mouths nearly touched.

but joshua blinked, pulled back with a gasp like he'd just woken from a dream. shook his head.

"no," he said, voice trembling. "we have rules."

jeonghan exhaled sharply, like he'd been punched.

neither of them spoke for a long time.

eventually, jeonghan grabbed his coat and keys. didn't even look back when he said, "i'll be out for the night."

the door slammed behind him.

and joshua — standing in the kitchen with his knees weak and lips tingling from a kiss that never happened — realized he felt... rejected. again.

he shouldn't.

but he did.

and it stung more than he wanted to admit.

t b c

Chapter Text

the heat started creeping in around the edges, slow and unrelenting like a tide he couldn't hold back. joshua had known it was coming — he always did. he'd memorized the signs: the restless energy humming beneath his skin, the way his breath caught for no reason, the ache in his lower belly like something was curling warm and wrong inside him. it wasn't a full heat, not yet. just the cruel teasing of pre-heat, and it always made him feel like he was unraveling in silence.

he didn't tell jeonghan.

he told himself it was fine. he'd handled worse alone. besides, the last thing he needed was jeonghan hovering, throwing that unreadable gaze over him like a net, catching things joshua didn't want anyone to see. no, he was fine. he would ride it out. the heat suppressants would come soon.

but as the sun dipped below the horizon and the apartment darkened, his resolve started slipping.

his skin felt too sensitive. the air too warm. every breath scraped the inside of his lungs like it had weight. he wrapped himself in his blankets but it wasn't enough — it wasn't what he needed. worse, he felt so stupid for how badly he wanted something that smelled like safety. he was getting into heat, completely.

so he gave in. luckily, he snuck into jeonghan's room that afternoon when the alpha had gone out for a run and tugged one of his shirts from the bottom drawer. it was soft. oversized. smelled like cedarwood and something deeper, muskier, something that made his thighs press together instinctively.

now it lay twisted in his hands as he curled into bed, face flushed, breath shallow. the fever had him. his mind spun with phantom touches and unfinished thoughts. and in the haze of his half-sleep, he dreamed.

dreamed of jeonghan.

in the dream, jeonghan was above him, broad hands bracketing his hips, voice low and rough, calling him sweetheart, saying his name like a promise. joshua moaned. he couldn't help it. his body arched, aching for friction, for more. he murmured the word before his brain could catch it — alpha.

he woke with a gasp, the heat clinging to his skin like a second layer. his sheets were damp with sweat, thighs pressed together, his body pulsing with a hunger he couldn't tame. the dream still lingered — jeonghan's voice, the weight of his hands, the way his name sounded curling from that mouth. trembling, joshua's fingers curled into the soft fabric of jeonghan's shirt again. he buried his face in it, inhaled deep, letting jeonghan's scent flood his senses. it made everything worse. his body clenched with want. biting his lip, he slipped a hand under the blanket, but the friction wasn't enough. nothing was. cheeks flushed, breath shaky, he reached for the bottom of his suitcase, fingers digging past folded clothes until they found the small velvet pouch. the familiar weight of the toy in his palm made his stomach twist in anticipation. it wasn't the same — not even close — but it was all he had. and he needed something, anything, to take the edge off.

and so, he puts the silicon dildo in him, which slides in with ease from all slick dripping off his vagina.

across the apartment, jeonghan froze.

he'd been reading on the couch, a glass of water half-full on the table. he'd already felt the edges of something wrong, something sweet and heady curling in the air like incense. but he'd ignored it. convinced himself he was imagining the scent.

then he heard it.

his name. moaned.

low, breathless. pleading.

"fuck," jeonghan muttered, clenching his jaw. he set the book down harder than necessary. the scent coming from joshua's room was impossible to ignore now — rich, syrupy omega heat, almost full-blown but potent enough to rattle every alpha instinct jeonghan had been trying to bury for weeks. he squeezed his eyes shut. shook his head.

he wasn't going in there. he wouldn't.

but then —

another sound. softer. wetter. followed by another whimper, broken this time. moans of the words "alpha" and "jeonghan". and jeonghan was on his feet before he even made the decision, standing in front of joshua's door, fists clenched.

he knocked once, sharp. "keep it down."

silence.

then a beat later, the softest voice, strained and breathless. "alpha... please."

jeonghan's eyes fluttered shut like the word was a curse.

"please," joshua whimpered again. "i need — i need you."

his resolve cracked straight down the middle. he didn't even remember reaching for the doorknob, only that when he stepped inside, his heart stopped.

joshua was curled on the bed, blanket tangled around his waist, hair sticking to his flushed cheeks. he looked ruined. overwhelmed. vulnerable in a way jeonghan had never seen. his thighs were spread, legs shaking slightly, and he was clutching jeonghan's shirt like a lifeline.

the room smelled like slick and desperation.

their eyes met.

jeonghan swallowed. "joshua —"

"don't look at me like that," joshua whispered, embarrassed but too far gone to care. "i didn't ask to want you either."

jeonghan's breath caught. the room was too hot. his skin itched with the need to touch, but he stayed rooted, frozen, gaze burning.

"you should've told me," he said, voice strained.

"and have you avoid me more than you already do?" joshua laughed, the sound breaking halfway. "i thought i could handle it. but i kept dreaming of you and — and i just —" his voice cracked. "i wanted something that felt real."

jeonghan crossed the room before his brain could stop him.

joshua gasped as the alpha knelt at the edge of the bed, hands planted on the sheets. he wasn't touching him. not yet. but his presence was like a storm rolling in — thick, powerful, overwhelming.

"you called me," jeonghan said quietly. "you wanted me."

joshua nodded, eyes glassy. "still do."

the moment stretched long and thin between them. they weren't supposed to be here. this wasn't the plan. they had rules — no touching, no claiming, no emotional questions.

but rules never meant much when hearts were burning.

when jeonghan finally touched him — one hand brushing joshua's cheek — it was gentle. reverent. like he wasn't sure joshua was real.

they didn't speak. didn't need to.

jeonghan's gaze dropped, unbidden, drawn to the sight before him — joshua spread across the bed like temptation itself, skin flushed, breath uneven, the hem of his oversized shirt barely covering the tops of his thighs. his legs were parted, wide, the stretch of pale skin leading inward like a path jeonghan was too afraid to take. the slick oozing out of joshua's vagina, looking inviting and wet, without any lube. the room was heavy with scent, sweet and sharp, unmistakably omega, and it made something primal stir deep in his chest. he swallowed hard, jaw clenching, because he wanted — wanted so badly it hurt. his fingers twitched at his sides, desperate to reach out, to touch, to taste. he could feel his heartbeat in his throat, his pulse thick with heat, and yet... he didn't move. just stood there, staring, unraveling.

the air was charged as joshua pulled him down by the collar, and jeonghan let him. mouths met, hungry and shaking. joshua tasted like heat and surrender. jeonghan held him like he'd break otherwise.

they moved together slowly at first, joshua's hips rolling instinctively, chasing friction. he moves upward, his wet pussy now in contact with the hard bulge in jeonghan's sweats. joshua's slick wet jeonghan's tracks, and he felt the heat of it on his rock hard dick. jeonghan cursed under his breath, letting joshua take control — let him pull the alpha on the bed before pushing him down on his back. joshua takes his shirt off, revealing his breasts that once looked like a man's chest under a shirt, were now swollen — looked more feminine. jeonghan cursed, over and over again at the sight of the sin embodied in joshua. the omaga was on his knees, hovering his hole right over jeonghan's hard and erect cock. he slides him down with ease and unknowingly throws his head back from the feeling of something huge filling him up. jeonghan hissed at the wetness and heat of joshua's pussy, now completely engulfing his dick. joshua's hands roam around jeonghan's chest — and he drools at how broad the alpha's shoulders were. he anchors onto jeonghan's body with his hands before moving his hips up and down, filthy, wet and squelching noises filling up the room along with the smell of sex and joshua's moans. jeonghan's hands now hold joshua's waist, guiding him as he rides.

jeonghan felt like he was in heaven itself, the way joshua was doing all the work, using him like he was using the dildo a while ago. he let him ride the tension out until his limbs trembled with exhaustion. only then did jeonghan flip him over, press him into the mattress like he was made to fit there.

he went down on joshua, kissing him. it was messy — saliva dripping from the corner of joshua's lips as he gasped for air when jeonghan broke kiss. jeonghan slid himself in joshua's pussy mercilessly, giving joshua exactly what he wanted.

joshua cried when jeonghan's dick slammed in him, but he was loving how the alpha felt inside him. jeonghan goes faster and harder than joshua's pace when he rode him. joshua — now seeing stars, his eyes were rolling back and his head was thrown back from the pleasure, moaning jeonghan's name.

"you like this, omega?" jeonghan said, voice low and dark.

"fuck — dont't stop jeonghan," joshua let out, trying to speak. "i love this alpha, i love — your dick." he said, his mind fogged from the pleasure.

jeonghan's arms go on the sides of the omega, his hips don't stop moving and fucking joshua into oblivion. his face goes into the crook of joshua's neck — inhaling the intoxicating scent of his, driving him wild and making him go harder. joshua's hands now hold jeonghan's body, his nails leaving scars and scratches on jeonghan's back.

"i — i'm close alpha."

"yeah baby?" jeonghan breathes.

it was all heat and sweat and low groans muffled into each other's skin.

joshua moaned jeonghan's name loud as he squirted on the alpha's dick, back arching and pressing his body further into jeonghan's. jeonghan didn't stop, chased his own climax but only for a few seconds before he pulled out and came on the sheets.

jeonghan layed next to joshua, both of them breathing hard.

the silence after was the loudest thing in the room. except their ragged breathing.

they didn't speak — not during, not even when the tension broke and left them breathless, blinking into the dark.

joshua curled onto his side, cheeks flushed, heart still thudding painfully against his ribs. jeonghan sat at the edge of the bed, hands limp in his lap, breathing hard.

the shirt joshua had clung to was now on the floor.

he looked up, eyes wide and impossibly soft in the dim light. "i didn't mean to need you," he whispered.

jeonghan didn't respond.

he only watched, his eyes lingering on joshua's face — lips parted, lashes trembling against flushed cheeks, expression soft in the haze of aftermath. he looked wrecked in the prettiest way. too pretty. too vulnerable. jeonghan's chest ached.

then he stood quietly and walked out.

joshua's lashes fluttered at the sound of the door. he didn't open his eyes, but his heart sank, a chill blooming in the warm space jeonghan left behind. he hadn't expected him to stay — hadn't expected anything at all, really — but still, the emptiness tugged at him, something quiet and cold wrapping around his ribs. it always felt like this after. hollow. too much and not enough.

but moments later, the door creaked again. soft footsteps padded across the floor. jeonghan returned with a bottle of cold water, his expression unreadable, jaw tight. he settled back on the edge of the bed and unscrewed the cap, holding it out.

"drink," he murmured.

joshua blinked up at him, dazed, eyes wide. he took a small sip, then another, jeonghan steadying the bottle in his hand like he was fragile. and he was, really. he felt cracked open.

when joshua finally leaned back, jeonghan looked down at the sheets — damp, tangled, stained with everything they'd spilled between them. sweat, slick, and cum. the room was thick with heat and scent and the heavy air of something unspoken. jeonghan exhaled slowly, then scooped joshua up without a word.

joshua didn't protest. he only tucked his face into jeonghan's shoulder, his arms instinctively wrapped around the alpha's neck — hiding the red flush in his cheeks. his legs hung loose, body pliant in the alpha's arms.

jeonghan carried him to the bathroom attached to his own room, gently lowering him onto the edge of the tub. he ran a warm washcloth over joshua's skin, careful and silent, cleaning him with slow, steady hands. joshua didn't speak either. just sat there, letting himself be tended to, gaze downcast, breath soft and uneven. jeonghan cleaned up himself after — a quick shower.

when he was clean, jeonghan dried him off and himself and pulled a fresh shirt over his head before lifting him again and placing him in his bed — his bed — like it was the most natural thing in the world.

only then did jeonghan slip away, returning to joshua's room to strip the messy sheets and toss them into the washer. the silence of the apartment was thick, but his mind was louder. he didn't know what any of this meant. he didn't know what he wanted it to mean.

but when he finally walked back into his own room, the sight of joshua curled beneath his sheets, cheeks still flushed, breathing even — something inside him eased. without a word, he slid in next to him. didn't touch. didn't speak.

"thank you." joshua murmured, sleepily.

jeonghan simply kissed the omega's forehead.

he stayed. and for now, that felt like enough.

t b c

Chapter Text

the morning light slipped in slowly, painting the room in gold. joshua stirred beneath soft sheets, groggy and far too warm, only to realize it wasn't just the blankets that made him feel that way — it was jeonghan. the alpha was still beside him, one arm thrown lazily around his waist, his face pressed into the pillow like he hadn't meant to fall asleep here but did anyway.

joshua's cheeks heated up almost immediately.

he shifted carefully, trying not to wake the other man, but the soreness between his thighs and the faint scent of slick on his skin betrayed the memory of what had happened just hours before. his face flamed further. they'd broken every rule they had set. no touching. no emotional talk. no claiming. yet here they were — wrapped up in a mess of tangled limbs, tension, and something that felt dangerously close to... intimacy.

he sat up with a quiet groan, pulling the sheet up to his chest like it could hide him from the memory of how wantonly he'd moaned jeonghan's name last night. the way he'd begged. the way he had trembled when jeonghan's voice had dropped to a whisper and called him baby.

god.

he buried his face into his hands, breathing slow and shallow. he should feel relieved — his heat was over, the haze had passed — but instead he felt... weirdly hollow. there was an ache in his chest, soft and deep, one that had nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with the alpha who was still asleep beside him.

"you're up?" jeonghan's voice was low and thick with sleep.

joshua startled, turning his face just enough to peek through his fingers. "yeah," he said quietly. "you snore."

"i do not," jeonghan murmured, stretching like a cat. his shirt had ridden up, exposing a line of hard abdomen and that faint trail of hair that joshua had shamelessly stared at last night. and now. "you just didn't notice before because you were too busy hating me."

joshua groaned, flopping back against the bed. "don't remind me."

a beat of silence passed between them, not awkward but weighted. joshua's gaze flicked over to him, and jeonghan looked... unreadable. not smug, not cold. just quiet. thoughtful.

"are we going to talk about it?" joshua asked softly, voice barely a whisper. "about... last night?"

jeonghan's jaw flexed. "i don't know what to say."

"try honesty."

the alpha exhaled slowly. "it was good."

"good?" joshua echoed, raising an unimpressed brow. "seriously?"

jeonghan looked amused despite himself. "okay, it was better than good."

joshua rolled his eyes, trying not to smile. "not what i meant and you know it."

silence fell again, this time more fragile. jeonghan sat up fully, rubbing at the back of his neck. "we said no touching. no crossing lines. we failed that."

joshua bit his lip, drawing the sheet tighter around himself. "do you regret it?"

jeonghan didn't answer right away, which made joshua's chest tighten. but then, after a long pause, the alpha said, "no. i don't. but i'm trying to figure out if that's a problem."

joshua let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. he nodded, slow. "same."

the rest of the morning unfolded quietly. jeonghan got up first, muttering something about making breakfast, and joshua took the opportunity to shower, letting the hot water wash the last traces of heat from his skin. his body still tingled with memory, especially when his fingers brushed over the faint teeth marks jeonghan had left on his collarbone.

he didn't cover them with makeup. just wrapped a scarf around his neck and told himself it was chilly.

when he entered the kitchen, the scent of eggs and toast filled the space. jeonghan stood over the stove, sleeves rolled up, hair slightly damp from his own shower. joshua hesitated at the doorway, arms crossed, leaning against the frame.

"you cook now?"

jeonghan glanced over his shoulder. "you like burnt toast?"

"absolutely not."

"then i guess i cook."

joshua cracked a smile. "you're lucky you're attractive."

"oh?" jeonghan's voice dropped, teasing. "you think i'm attractive?"

joshua flushed immediately. "you're literally the worst."

jeonghan grinned and handed him a plate.

they ate at the kitchen counter, shoulders brushing occasionally. the silence between them was less tense now, soft even. jeonghan sipped on his tea, watching the way joshua's fingers curled around his mug, the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheeks. he hated how much he liked looking at him.

"thanks," he said eventually.

jeonghan blinked. "for what?"

"for last night," joshua murmured. "you didn't... have to stay. or clean up. or tuck me in."

the alpha's expression softened. "i know. but i wanted to."

joshua nodded slowly, something blooming warm and dangerous in his chest. he looked away, down at his half-finished plate, picking at the toast crust.

when he looked up again, jeonghan was watching him. really watching him, like joshua was something delicate he couldn't quite figure out how to touch without breaking.

it made joshua feel even more exposed than he had the night before.

"your scarf's crooked," jeonghan said gently, and reached over before joshua could react. he tugged the fabric straight, fingers brushing along joshua's neck, lingering just a moment too long over one of the marks he'd left.

joshua froze. he looked up, startled by how close they were now. jeonghan's fingers still at his throat. their faces inches apart. jeonghan's eyes flickered down for a second, to joshua's plush lips.

"you're doing it again," joshua whispered, heart thundering.

"what?"

"looking at me like that."

"like what?"

"like you... mean it."

jeonghan didn't move away. his hand dropped to joshua's jaw, thumb brushing lightly across his cheek. "maybe i do."

joshua's breath hitched. the air between them grew thick again, a magnetism pulling them closer. jeonghan's gaze flicked down to his lips. joshua leaned in instinctively, lips parting.

and then jeonghan pulled away.

joshua blinked, confused, stunned at the sudden cold air between them. "what the hell —"

"don't," jeonghan said, stepping back, shaking his head. "don't do that unless you mean it."

joshua stared at him, frustration curling inside his chest. "you pulled away."

"that's the problem," jeonghan muttered, voice low and almost pained. "i might mean it."

joshua didn't know what to say to that. not when his own heart was pounding. not when the scent of jeonghan still clung to his skin like a secret. he turned away, cheeks pink, chest tight.

"i hate you," he muttered under his breath.

jeonghan snorted. "liar."

joshua looked back at him, eyes narrow. "fine. i slightly dislike you."

"i'll take it."

the rest of the day passed in flickers of domestic tension. jeonghan cleaned the living room while joshua curled up on the couch with a book. their knees touched. neither of them moved. joshua caught jeonghan staring more than once. jeonghan pretended not to notice when joshua curled around one of his pillows like a sleepy kitten, scarf slipping to reveal the edge of a fading bite mark.

everything had shifted between them. they both felt it. unspoken but undeniable.

and yet... they said nothing.

when evening came and joshua stood at the stove reheating soup, jeonghan came up behind him, silent as ever, until joshua felt the warmth of his body at his back. a soft hand reached around to adjust the heat.

"you're doing it wrong," jeonghan murmured against his ear.

"then do it yourself," joshua said, refusing to turn around because he knew — he knew — jeonghan would be too close, and he'd cave all over again.

"i like watching you cook."

"pervert."

"brat."

joshua turned then, chin tilted defiantly — and froze. they were nose to nose again. jeonghan was smirking. his eyes, however, looked far too sincere.

"you're impossible," joshua whispered.

"and yet you're still here," jeonghan replied, voice lower now. "in my kitchen. wearing my marks."

joshua swallowed. "what are we doing?"

jeonghan looked at him for a long time. "i don't know. but i don't want to stop."

the confession landed like a stone in joshua's chest. he nodded, unable to say anything in return just yet. so instead he looked away, pulled the scarf tighter, and said, "soup's burning."

jeonghan didn't move.

neither did joshua.

t b c

Chapter Text

it started with a message.

joshua had been curled up on the couch, legs tucked beneath him, a soft blanket draped over his shoulders as he scrolled through his phone lazily. jeonghan was in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, arms flexing slightly as he cleaned the dishes from breakfast. the silence between them wasn't tense anymore — not exactly — but it wasn't easy either. not after the kiss that almost happened, and the ones that actually did.

their dynamic had shifted. subtly. slowly. jeonghan now made him coffee in the morning without being asked, his fingers brushing against joshua's when he handed over the mug. joshua would roll his eyes and mutter a quiet, "thanks, chef," but his cheeks always burned.

he couldn't remember when exactly he stopped flinching at the sound of jeonghan's footsteps or stopped resenting the arranged bond. he still didn't love it. he didn't love being forced into someone else's gravity. but lately, jeonghan's presence wasn't a weight. it was warmth. confusing, frustrating, undeniable warmth.

and then the message came.

'hey. heard about the whole bond thing. i just wanted to say i hope you're okay. you deserve better than something arranged.'

it was from minjun. an old flame. one of the very few people joshua had let in before all this. someone who used to hold his hand in secret and kiss his throat behind closed doors. someone who told him they'd never let anything bad happen to him.

joshua hadn't thought about him in months. and now his name was glowing on the screen like a curse.

he stared at it for too long. long enough that jeonghan, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel, walked past the couch and glanced over his shoulder.

the second their eyes met, joshua knew.

jeonghan didn't say anything at first. just paused mid-step, eyes flicking from the name on the screen to joshua's face.

"you're reading old love letters now?" jeonghan said, voice neutral. too neutral.

joshua locked his phone immediately, guilt curling up inside him like a fist. "it was just a message. i didn't ask for it."

"didn't look like you hated it either," jeonghan muttered, walking away.

the air thickened.

joshua stood, blanket slipping off his shoulders. "what the hell is that supposed to mean? and why would you look at my phone?"

jeonghan didn't turn around. "nothing. forget it. and i'm sorry, i didn't mean to peep."

"no," joshua said, following him into the kitchen. "say it. you obviously have something to say, so just — say it."

jeonghan spun to face him. "i saw the message. i know who that is."

"so what?" joshua snapped. "you spying on me now? reading over my shoulder like a creep?"

"don't turn this on me," jeonghan said sharply. "you're the one getting messages from old flings and smiling at your phone like it means something."

"it didn't mean anything. he just asked if i was okay."

"and you needed him to ask you that?" jeonghan's voice was rising now, rare frustration showing through the cracks. "you couldn't come to me?"

"you're not exactly easy to come to!" joshua shouted, arms flailing. "you treat this whole thing like a job you didn't sign up for."

jeonghan went still.

"what the hell do you think this is?" joshua continued, softer now. his voice was shaking. "you think i wanted this bond? you think i asked to be thrown into an apartment with someone who didn't even want me?"

"i never said i didn't want you —"

"no," joshua cut him off. "you said something worse. you said you didn't want a mate."

jeonghan's mouth opened. closed. his jaw clenched.

"you said it," joshua whispered, eyes glassy now. "and you meant it."

the silence that followed felt endless. like an ache neither of them knew how to soothe.

jeonghan finally spoke, voice low and raw. "i didn't ask for this."

"neither did i," joshua said. "but i've been trying. i've been trying, jeonghan. and you —"

his voice cracked.

jeonghan reached for him without thinking, instinctive. but joshua flinched back.

that hurt more than anything.

"don't," joshua whispered. "don't pretend to care now."

"i'm not pretending."

"then what are you doing? what are we doing?" joshua shook his head. "i can't keep waking up next to you, pretending this means nothing."

jeonghan didn't answer.

joshua's lips trembled. he grabbed his coat.

"where are you going?" jeonghan asked, breathless.

"out," joshua said. "somewhere you don't have to look at the omega you never wanted."

he left before jeonghan could stop him.

and jeonghan... didn't.

the door slammed shut.

jeonghan stood frozen, every part of him screaming to go after him. to grab joshua by the wrist and pull him back and say i didn't mean it, i didn't mean it, i didn't mean it.

but did he really not mean it? he was confused by his own feelings. and he should just go after the omega to talk about it.

but his feet didn't move.

he didn't know how to be soft with this kind of hurt. didn't know how to fix something that shattered without even being whole in the first place.

the scent joshua left behind was still in the air. sweet and warm, like cinnamon and citrus and sex. jeonghan hated how it clung to him. hated how his heart twisted painfully every time he pictured the look on joshua's face — that raw betrayal, that bright anger, that broken expression.

he walked to the couch and sat down heavily. joshua's phone was gone. of course. the blanket still lay there, warm where he had been sitting.

jeonghan picked it up, clutched it in both hands, and pressed it to his face.

it smelled like joshua.

it smelled like home.

joshua didn't go far. he found a quiet spot in the rooftop garden, legs pulled up to his chest, wind nipping at his cheeks. he didn't cry, not really. but his eyes burned and his chest ached in that quiet, unbearable way that made it hard to breathe.

you're not enough. you're not wanted. just something convenient. something arranged.

the words repeated themselves in his head like poison.

he hated how much he'd let himself hope. hated that part of him believed jeonghan had started to care. in the way he cooked for him. the way he tucked blankets around his shoulders when joshua fell asleep on the couch. the way he kissed him like the world might end if he didn't.

maybe none of it meant anything.

or maybe it meant everything, and jeonghan was just too scared to admit it.

jeonghan stayed up that night, pacing the living room, checking his phone more times than he'd like to admit. no message. no sign.

he tried to sleep but couldn't.

the bed felt cold without joshua in it.

the room too quiet.

everything too wrong.

he sat up at 3 a.m., raking a hand through his hair, whispering to himself, "what the hell did you do..."

he didn't realize how much joshua mattered until he was gone.

and now, he wasn't sure how to fix it.

but he knew one thing for sure.

he'd never forgive himself if he didn't try.

t b c

Chapter Text

jeonghan didn't sleep.

he'd laid in joshua's bed the whole night — alone — staring at the ceiling like it might whisper where joshua had gone. his scent still clung faintly to the sheets, even after the mess they'd made that night, was washed away. but that ache in jeonghan's chest, low and insistent, had settled in deeper. not the ache of lust this time, but the absence of something softer, something that felt like it mattered too much.

he'd replayed every second of their argument until it looped like static. he shouldn't have said it — not like that, not when joshua had looked so small in the doorway with his hoodie half-zipped and his eyes still glassy from heat-soreness. i didn't want a mate. it had ripped through the silence like a bullet.

but it was true. he hadn't.

he just hadn't expected him.

his phone buzzed just after sunrise. jeonghan snatched it up before the second vibration, desperate.

junhui: he's here. he's safe. don't come unless you're ready to apologize.

jeonghan exhaled like he'd been holding his breath all night. he dropped his head into his hands and sat there for a long time, trying to decide what the hell he was going to say.

junhui opened the door with a flat look. he didn't bother to greet jeonghan.

"he's on the couch. i swear, if you make him cry again, i'll break your nose."

jeonghan gave a tired huff. "you think i don't already want to punch myself?"

"good," junhui said. "that's growth."

he moved aside and let jeonghan in.

the apartment smelled like sage and cheap coffee. the kind of place that felt lived-in, warm with mismatched pillows and too many throw blankets. joshua was curled under one of them, wearing one of jun's oversized t-shirts and holding a steaming mug. his hair was mussed. his eyes flicked up when jeonghan entered, unreadable.

jeonghan stood awkwardly near the door.

"...you look like shit," joshua said finally, soft.

jeonghan let out a breath that was almost a laugh. "so do you."

"thanks." joshua sipped. "junhui made the coffee. it's burnt."

"you drank it anyway?"

"i'm dramatic like that."

jeonghan stepped closer. slowly. when joshua didn't move, he sat on the edge of the couch.

"i didn't mean it," jeonghan said quietly. "what i said. not like that."

joshua didn't look at him. "you didn't lie though."

"no. but i didn't want any mate. not... not just because someone decided it for me. i didn't want to lose control."

"and you think you're losing control with me?"

jeonghan rubbed a hand over his jaw. "i think i already have."

joshua finally turned, gaze guarded. "why does that scare you so much?"

jeonghan studied him — his bare legs tucked up under the blanket, the soft dip in his brow, the pout of his mouth. he was like a storm in a teacup. delicate and chaotic all at once. and jeonghan didn't know when want had turned into need, but it had.

"because you're... everything. and i don't know how to want something this much without fucking it up."

that made joshua's breath hitch.

"you didn't choose this," joshua said after a beat. it wasn't accusatory. just honest.

jeonghan shook his head. "maybe not. but i'm choosing you now."

he meant it.

joshua blinked at him, stunned into silence. and for a moment, neither of them moved. the space between them felt thick with something unspoken — all that denial condensed into a heartbeat.

and then joshua reached out. his hand brushed jeonghan's, hesitant. soft.

"you're such an idiot," he whispered.

jeonghan laughed under his breath. "i know."

he leaned in, unsure if he'd be allowed this. but joshua didn't pull away. instead, his eyes fluttered shut like he'd been waiting.

their lips met — slow, tentative. it wasn't rushed, wasn't greedy. it was careful. reverent. like jeonghan was trying to memorize the shape of him, and joshua was letting him.

jeonghan cupped the back of joshua's neck, deepening the kiss. joshua's fingers curled into the front of his hoodie, holding on like he didn't want it to stop. it wasn't just a kiss — it was a confession. a surrender.

"gross — if you two have made up, please leave my house." junhui said, not meaning to walk in on them, but it was his living room.

jeonghan pulled back just enough for both of them to chuckle and smile at junhui, and he whispered against joshua's mouth, "come home."

joshua nodded, eyes still closed. "okay."

they walked back together that afternoon, after refusing jeonghan's secretary from sending them a car.

the apartment smelled like lavender detergent and something slightly sweet — jeonghan had tried to make pancakes earlier, failed, and burned the mix. joshua noticed immediately and made fun of him for it.

"you can't even cook?" he said, dropping his overnight bag by the doorway. "and here i thought you were supposed to be the competent one."

"i'm a man of many talents," jeonghan replied dryly, grabbing the bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "just not in the kitchen."

joshua smirked, eyes crinkling. "i remember a few of those talents."

jeonghan stopped in the hallway. turned around.

"...is that so?"

joshua blinked innocently. "mm-hm. i especially liked the one where you —"

"don't test me," jeonghan warned, voice low.

"i'm not," joshua said, cheeks flushing even as he stood his ground. "just saying. you were very — thorough."

jeonghan stared at him for a long second, clearly considering his options. then he stepped close, leaned in until his lips brushed the shell of joshua's ear.

"say that again," he murmured, voice like gravel.

joshua shivered. "you're awful."

"and you like it."

"maybe."

jeonghan grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek, startlingly sweet after all that tension. joshua blinked up at him, visibly short-circuiting.

"you're really confusing," he mumbled.

"you're really cute."

"shut up."

"make me."

"jeonghan —"

jeonghan pulled joshua gently by his neck before kissing and sucking on joshua's lips, making the omega's heart skip a beat and go weak on his knees.

they both dissolved into laughter, into the kiss.

the rest of the day passed gently.

jeonghan cooked pasta (successfully this time), and joshua made garlic bread, humming under his breath. they moved around the kitchen with easy coordination, brushing shoulders, exchanging soft glances. joshua kept blushing. jeonghan kept pretending he didn't notice.

they sat on the couch afterward, watching some crime drama with half-hearted interest. jeonghan's arm was draped behind joshua, and at some point, joshua leaned his head against his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.

jeonghan tilted his head to look at him.

"you comfortable?"

"mm," joshua murmured. "don't ruin it."

jeonghan smiled.

he didn't.

but something else did.

a message came, later that night.

jeonghan had gone to grab fresh towels from the dryer. joshua was curled on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on his phone when jeonghan's own phone buzzed on the nightstand.

he wouldn't have looked. but the screen lit up bright, and the name made his stomach twist.

mom: we've spoken to the council. it's not too late to annul the bond.

he sat there, frozen. then, slowly, he turned as jeonghan entered the room again, towel draped over his arm, smile still lingering from whatever quiet joy he'd been riding since their kiss.

joshua looked up at him, eyes wide, voice quiet.

"...your mom texted."

jeonghan stilled. "...yeah?"

"she said they're talking about annulling the bond."

jeonghan's smile faded.

they stared at each other. joshua's chest felt tight. like a string inside him had just snapped.

"were you going to tell me?"

jeonghan sighed and set the towel down. "i just... i didn't want to ruin this."

"too late," joshua said, sitting up straighter. his voice was soft but firm. "you can't say you're choosing me and then keep that from me."

"i am choosing you," jeonghan insisted, stepping forward.

joshua shook his head. "then prove it."

jeonghan's hands clenched at his sides. "i don't want to lose you."

"then don't. but don't lie to me either."

they stood there in silence.

jeonghan looked down.

"...i'll tell them no."

joshua blinked. "what?"

"i'll tell them to fuck off," jeonghan said, looking up with fire in his eyes. "i'm not letting them decide for me. not this time."

joshua stared at him. something in his expression cracked — hope bleeding through anger.

"...you better not," he whispered.

jeonghan crossed the room, reached out, and tucked a strand of joshua's hair behind his ear. "you're mine now."

"you're possessive."

"only about you."

"gross."

"you love it."

"...maybe."

jeonghan smiled.

and this time, when he kissed him, it felt like a promise.

t b c

Chapter Text

jeonghan stood outside the tall, polished gates of his family estate, the air too clean, too manicured, too... fake. it always felt that way when he came back here — like everything had to be perfect, shiny, and in order. not at all like his apartment now, where the couch still smelled faintly of joshua's shampoo and the bathroom shelf had a pink toothbrush next to his black one.

his mother greeted him with a faint smile. her perfume was sharp, expensive. cold. "come inside, jeonghan. we won't take much of your time."

that alone was a warning sign.

his father didn't stand to greet him. just looked up from his desk with a stiff nod, hands clasped like a man ready to negotiate something that should never have needed negotiation.

"we've been thinking," his mother began smoothly, "about the arrangement."

jeonghan didn't respond, jaw tightening.

"we want you to consider dissolving the bond," his father added. "there's another family — far more suitable for our political standing. a daughter, well-connected, powerful bloodline. her omega status is confirmed. fertile. discreet."

"and joshua?" jeonghan asked, voice sharp now, cold in a way that made even his father pause.

"we'll handle compensation," his mother said. "we're not cruel, jeonghan. we'll make sure he and his family are well taken care of. he was never meant to be permanent, after all."

jeonghan pushed his chair back. stood. "you think you can pay him off like he's some... some thing?"

"don't be dramatic," his father snapped. "you barely knew him when this bond was arranged."

"i know him now," jeonghan said quietly. "and i'm not breaking the bond."

his mother looked surprised. "you're saying no?"

"i'm saying no."

and that was that. just like his mother said, not much of his time as he stood his ground.

he slammed the apartment door harder than he meant to when he returned. the frustration sat heavy on his shoulders, clawing at his chest like guilt and rage and a hundred unsaid words.

joshua peeked out from the kitchen, still in those ridiculous bunny slippers he wore every morning. his hair was slightly damp, probably just showered, cheeks a little flushed.

"you look like you fought someone," he said softly.

jeonghan didn't answer. just stared at him for a second too long, eyes dark.

joshua hesitated. "did they... did they want to break it?"

"yes," jeonghan said. no point in sugarcoating it.

joshua's hands dropped from where he'd been fiddling with the edge of his sleeves. "it's okay," he said after a beat, voice too gentle. "you don't have to fight them for me. if it's easier — if it makes things better for you — i can leave."

that was the last straw.

"don't say that," jeonghan snapped, stepping forward. "don't you dare say that."

joshua blinked, startled. "i'm just trying to help — "

"by walking away?" jeonghan's voice cracked a little. "by making me choose between you and everything else like it's supposed to be easy?"

joshua's lips parted. he looked small all of a sudden, shoulders curled in, like he was trying not to take up too much space. "i don't want to ruin your life. so maybe, for now atleast — "

"you're not ruining it," jeonghan said, stepping even closer. "you're the only part of it that feels real right now."

joshua's breath caught. "you don't mean that."

"i do," jeonghan said, grabbing joshua's hands, pulling them to his chest so joshua could feel the way his heart raced beneath his ribs. "you don't get it. i didn't want this bond, no. but i do want you. i'm choosing you now. not because i have to — but because i can't not."

something broke in joshua's expression. the tension in his jaw loosened, his lashes fluttering as he tried not to cry. "you're such an asshole."

jeonghan laughed — soft and warm and breathless. "i know."

and then joshua surged forward, standing on his toes to kiss him.

a real kiss.

not a byproduct of heat. not fueled by frustration or obligation or instinct.

just lips pressing against lips, slow and lingering. warm. open. real.

jeonghan cradled the back of joshua's head, tilting it just so he could deepen the kiss, tongue sliding gently into his mouth. joshua let out a soft little sound that made jeonghan groan, pulling him closer until their bodies were flush.

it wasn't rushed. wasn't desperate.

but it still burned.

joshua's fingers clung to jeonghan's shirt, eyes half-lidded when they pulled apart, lips red and kiss-swollen. "this doesn't mean you're off the hook."

jeonghan grinned. "you're adorable when you're mad."

"i'm not adorable," joshua muttered, already turning red.

"you're fucking adorable," jeonghan corrected, walking him backwards toward the couch. "and a brat. and mine."

they didn't undress fully. just enough for hands to slip under shirts and over bare skin, enough for jeonghan to grind against him slowly, the friction maddening. joshua moaned, head thrown back against the armrest, thighs spreading instinctively.

jeonghan watched him come apart, his own jeans tight and uncomfortable from how hard he was, but not rushing. joshua was more important than getting off. joshua's flushed cheeks and parted lips, the way he whined softly when jeonghan mouthed at his collarbone — this was what mattered.

after, they curled up together on the couch, breathing uneven.

"they'll be mad," joshua whispered after a while. "your parents."

"let them be," jeonghan murmured into his hair. "they don't get to choose for me anymore."

"that's... hot," joshua mumbled sleepily, and jeonghan laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"go to sleep, brat."

but joshua didn't sleep, not yet. he lay there with his head against jeonghan's chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, fingers tracing little shapes on his arm.

he still wasn't sure what all this meant. the future was still foggy, uncertain.

but for now — jeonghan had chosen him.

and that was enough.

the next morning, jeonghan posted a picture on his private social media.

it was blurry. taken from the side. joshua in one of jeonghan's shirts, sleeves too long, sipping coffee on the balcony. the caption was simple:

mine.

minutes later, jeonghan's phone blew up.

his mother. his cousin. his father's secretary.

jeonghan just turned it off.

"you're smiling like an idiot," joshua said from the kitchen, but he was smiling too.

"it's because i'm fucking happy."

joshua rolled his eyes. "you're corny."

jeonghan walked up behind him, slid his arms around his waist. "you like it."

"i tolerate it," joshua said, cheeks pink.

jeonghan pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "liar."

"maybe."

and just like that, the bond between them — unwanted and inconvenient at first — felt like something sacred.

something worth fighting for.

something they were going to protect, no matter what came next.

t b c

Chapter Text

jeonghan knew it was coming.

he'd felt the pull tightening in his chest for days now, an invisible string coiling itself around his ribs, around his throat, around his restraint. his body thrummed with the primal edge of instinct — his blood heavier, his breath shallower, his every thought tangled with the scent of the omega who'd taken over every corner of his life.

joshua.

soft, maddening, too-beautiful joshua.

and tonight, it hit.

the rut swept in like a tidal wave — thick and hot and suffocating — dragging every fragile wall jeonghan had built down into the tide. it was unbearable, the ache. the heat under his skin. the raw need curling into something ravenous. but worse than the hunger was the fear that he'd lose control, that he'd take what joshua wasn't ready to give.

he locked himself in his room, pacing the floor like a beast caged.

he didn't call out. he didn't text. he didn't knock on joshua's door.

but still, joshua came.

gentle fingers tapped against the wood. "jeonghan?"

his voice was quiet, concerned. jeonghan could hear the hesitation in it, the caution. and it only made him burn more.

"go back to your room," jeonghan said, voice hoarse and strained. "please."

but the door creaked open.

joshua stood there in soft cotton pajamas, hair tousled and eyes wide. his scent hit jeonghan like a punch to the gut — warm and sweet, tinged with nervousness. he was glowing under the moonlight from the window, fragile but brave. he walked up to the alpha, gently placing his hand on his forehead.

"you're burning up," joshua said quietly. "you should've told me it started."

jeonghan stepped back, jaw clenched. "i can't — i won't risk hurting you."

joshua crossed the threshold anyway.

"you won't," he whispered.

jeonghan stared at him. "you don't have to do this."

"i know," joshua said, taking another step closer. "but i want to."

jeonghan's breath hitched. his hands trembled at his sides. "joshua..."

"i'm not scared of you," joshua murmured. "i'm scared of losing you. i want to be with you, jeonghan. not because of the bond. because it's you."

and that broke him.

the dam inside jeonghan snapped — not with violence, but with tenderness. he reached out, cupping joshua's cheek, thumb tracing the slope of his jaw. "only if you're sure."

joshua leaned into the touch, breath warm against jeonghan's skin. "i'm sure."

the kiss that followed was a slow collapse into need.

jeonghan didn't devour him. he cherished him. he kissed joshua like he was tasting rain for the first time after a long drought — soft, reverent, desperate but patient. their mouths met again and again, tongues sliding, breaths catching, fingers trembling where they clutched at each other's clothes. it was wet, and messy.

joshua gasped into his mouth when jeonghan tugged him closer, their bodies flush. his fingers fisted in jeonghan's shirt. "you're so warm," he whispered, cheeks pink, voice breathless.

joshua got up, "give me a few minutes, yeah?"

jeonghan only nodded, and waited on his bed as he watched joshua's ass as he walked out of the room.

he waited only five minutes and then entered joshua, in the sexiest lingerie ever. it was a shade of dark red — the color complementing his skin tone perfectly and it was lacey. the lingerie came with a black leather garter underneath, which jeonghan hadn't properly seen it.

jeonghan sucked in a sharp breath, his throat dry the moment joshua stepped back into the room. the lighting hit him just right — like something divine had wandered into his space only to ruin him. the deep red lace clung to joshua's frame like sin itself, every delicate pattern etched against pale skin he was aching to bite. the thin straps rested perfectly on his shoulders, drawing attention to the elegant lines of his collarbones, and the sheer cups of the bralette teased just enough to make jeonghan's mouth water. but it was the garter — sleek black leather around soft thighs, hugging tightly, the matching stockings clipped in place — that made jeonghan nearly groan out loud. joshua was flushed already, lashes lowered, lips parted in soft anticipation. his hair was tousled, eyes glassy, and he looked like a dream — like temptation wrapped in vulnerability, offering himself not because he had to, but because he wanted to. jeonghan's fists clenched at his sides, his restraint hanging by a thread. all he wanted was to pull joshua into his lap, run his hands over every trembling inch of him, make him cry out his name until the walls remembered the sound. god, he looked edible. and jeonghan, helpless against the storm of need rising in his gut, could only stare, jaw tight, as he breathed out, low and rough, "you're going to be the death of me."

joshua only smired before walking closer to him, every step he took — his hips swayed, almost mesmerizing the alpha. jeonghan sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes undressing the omega. without a word, joshua got on his knees, spreading apart jeonghan's legs and held onto his thighs, before getting closer. jeonghan took his shirt off and joshua got wet at just the sight of the alpha's toned muscles and v line. he unzipped his pants — jeonghan adjusting a little to get the pants down a bit, as his cock sprung up free. joshua drooled at the sight, amazed by the size, wondering how this big dick fit in him the night of his heat. he swirled his tongue on jeonghan's tip, tasting the sour precum. he wiggled his tongue on the tip.

"you're driving me insane," jeonghan replied with a low groan.

his head was thrown back when joshua went deep, taking his dick whole, his tongue trying to swirl around his cock with whatever space was left in his mouth. tears welled up in joshua's eyes. jeonghan moaned from the feeling of joshua's wet and warm mouth — his hand automatically gripping the omega's hair.

joshua began to move, only taking a little more than half of jeonghan's dick as tears fell from his cheeks.

"look at you joshua, taking it like a good omega." jeonghan said, his voice deep, almost instantly making joshua's pussy wet and throb. one of his hand went down, rubbing his clit and moaning from the sensation — sending vibrations on jeonghan's dick.

he started rubbing and circling around and on his clit. jeonghan noticed and only smirked.

"pleasuring yourself well baby?"

joshua could only look up at him with teary half lidded eyes, a flushed face, apple red cheeks, lips coated wet with saliva and precum, beads of sweat dripping off his forehead along with his sweaty hair stuck on it.

the sight alone was enough to make any alpha lose all senses. and jeonghan, an alpha who was technically in love him? needless to say — it was driving him crazy.

jeonghan's hand moved faster, grip on joshua's hair tighter — he pushes joshua's face to take his dick deeper, basically controlling him.

"fuck baby — i need to fuck your pussy, really bad." he let out in a low growl.

joshua was only getting more aroused at how jeonghan would destroy him. he kept thinking about how jeonghan's dick felt in his pussy the other night — so big, so full. he needed to be filled with cum, needed to breeded. his fingers went in and out his pussy, wiggling inside him, moaning when he kept massaging his g-spot. the floor now had a huge wet spot of joshua's slick, the scent driving jeonghan insane.

it wasn't enough for both of them.

so jeonghan let go of joshua's hair and the omega sprung back, gasping for air. the sight of him on the floor, on his knees, a pool of his slick on the floor and still dripping from his pussy — jeonghan was going to fuck him reckless.

he almost tore the lingerie off joshua and asked him to wait on the bed as he left the room. joshua's skin was glowing under the dim light, flushed and trembling, thighs pressed together as if trying to hide his shyness and arousal all at once. he sat, shivering from only the leather harness on him. jeonghan returned with the big dildo joshua used to satisfy himself the other night.

jeonghan paused when he saw the way joshua's lashes fluttered down, when he noticed how joshua's hands shook as he covered himself instinctively. even now, he was shy. even now, he blushed so deeply it stained his collarbones.

so jeonghan bent down, pressing a kiss to his knee, then to his hipbone, then his navel.

"you're perfect," he murmured.

"stop saying embarrassing things," joshua mumbled, face hidden behind his hands.

jeonghan smirked, lifting one hand to gently pull joshua's wrists away. "i want to see you."

the air between them was thick with tension, sweet with the scent of joshua's slick arousal and the earthy musk of jeonghan's rut. it was overwhelming, intoxicating, and yet somehow still delicate. joshua arched into every touch, every kiss, a soft whimper leaving his lips when jeonghan finally mouthed at the slick heat between his thighs.

he was trembling, pliant, whispering jeonghan's name like it was the only word he knew.

there were chains of consent in every motion — every touch a question, every kiss an answer.

jeonghan's voice was low when he finally moved over him. "if you want to stop —"

"i don't," joshua breathed. "i want you. please."

so jeonghan took him — slow, inch by inch, with whispered praises and hands gripping joshua's hips to keep him grounded. he hovered the omega and tied his wrists with his tie to the bed frame. and he entered him, slowly at first. the omega gasped, back arching, tears pricking the corners of his eyes at the stretch, the fullness, the overwhelming feeling of being wanted so completely.

their bodies moved in perfect rhythm — moans and gasps tangled together like music. joshua's legs wrapped around his waist, begging for more with every buck of his hips and every plea that fell from his lips.

and jeonghan gave him everything.

every thrust was a promise.

every kiss was a vow.

every gasp was love unspoken.

the room was filled with the sounds of skin against skin, the soft whimpering cries of joshua's pleasure, the low growls of jeonghan's rut-fed desire. and even amidst the heat and the haze and the wild, sinful rhythm — they never looked away from each other.

their eyes held everything their words didn't yet know how to say.

joshua moaned louder and sinful with every thrust. and looking at the omega, jeonghan felt like he could never get enough of joshua. he untied his wrists, and manhandled the omega on his belly. he spun him around so they were facing the opposite side of the bed. joshua's ass was in the air, his back beautifully arched, the scent of his slick inviting — could make jeonghan fuck him endlessly.

he spead the omega's ass cheeks to get a better look of the hole he was fucking, he mouth watering at the sight — he blew on it lightly and smirked when joshua shuddered from the cool air. he ran his tongue down to up, from his clit to the other end of his hole, slowly and sensually, like he was licking an ice cream on a hot summer day. joshua moaned loud, pressing his ass further into jeonghan's tongue, pleading to be ruined.

so jeonghan made his pleas come true. he entered joshua without a warning — recklessly. he pounded into joshua like it was the last time he got to fuck him. the room was filled with fast claps of skin, the squelching sounds from jeonghan's cock going in and out joshua's wet pussy.

joshua felt like his brain was melting. he was supposed to help jeonghan with his rut and here was getting it good from the alpha, letting him do anything to him.

jeonghan reached to the dildo, and stuffed it in joshua's mouth. he moved it in and out before placing it upright on the bed and ordering joshua to suck it. the omega was overwhelmed from his filled holes, his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

jeonghan didn't stop drilling into him — he held joshua's arms and got them to his back, held it there with just one of his hand.

"do you like it when i fuck your pussy like this?" jeonghan asked, breathlessly.

joshua could only nod into the bed, unable to form words.

jeonghan let of joshua arms, and gripped his hair instead — he pulled him up so joshua could look at the mirror in front of them. joshua's lips were dripping with saliva, his eyes hooded and his breasts perky from the support of the harness. and jeonghan hitting in from the back — joshua could squirt then. jeonghan wasn't any better from looking at the mirror, he could fill up joshua's vagina with cum.

"look at you — taking it like a good boy. like my personal slut." he growled low near joshua's ear.

joshua gasped and moved his ass back to fuck himself deeper on jeonghan's dick — they moved in perfect rhythm. jeonghan bent down, leaving kisses, hickeys and bite marks all over joshua's back, collarbones, neck and shoulders. he bent down further to kiss joshua's ass.

"you want me to breed you, baby?" he asked.

joshua moaned loud, saying yes but was unclear. jeonghan bit his lip, grinding his dick deeper in joshua's pussy, hitting every nerve ending. he grabbed his hair and moved his face to the side to hear him.

"please — please breed me master. i want — to get bred, get pregnant by you alpha — i want your cum in me please."

joshua lost his mind, and jeonghan was enjoying it.

so like his omega asked —

they came. joshua moaned jeonghan's name out loud before squirting on jeonghan's dick, writhing and breathless and beautiful, jeonghan held him through it — mouth pressed to the side of his neck, whispering everything he'd been too afraid to say.

"you're mine."

"you're everything."

and he came in him, his knot growing and the cum now oozing out of joshua's pussy, overflowing. he kissed the damp skin behind joshua's ear and stayed inside him, knot locked, heart aching with the intensity of it all. he whispered praises in joshua's ear as the omega whined from the pain of the knot.

and after a while, jeonghan pulled out and immediately, the mixture of slick and cum dripped down joshua's thighs, ruining his stockings. jeonghan carried him as they got cleaned, showered together. (might have had another quick round in the shower.)

they got in bed together, naked and feeling close.

"you smell like home." jeonghan said as burried joshua beneath him, hugging him close.

joshua was boneless beneath him, tears slipping down the side of his face as he laughed breathlessly. "you're so... stupidly romantic."

jeonghan chuckled, voice rough. "don't tell anyone."

they stayed tangled together long after it ended — legs a mess of limbs, hearts pressed close, the bond between them glowing so brightly it felt like it was singing in their chests.

jeonghan brushed joshua's hair back, thumb tracing the curve of his cheek.

"you're not just the omega i'm bonded to," he whispered. "you're the person i want to choose. again and again."

joshua blinked at him, eyes glassy. "even when i'm a brat?"

"especially then."

joshua sniffled a laugh, then curled closer, pressing his face into jeonghan's neck. "you smell like home too."

they fell asleep wrapped around each other — sore, claimed and claiming.

it wasn't just a rut.

it was the beginning of something deeper, something unbreakable.

the kind of love they could no longer deny.

t b c

Chapter Text

the morning light filtered in through the sheer curtains, casting gentle patterns onto the tangled sheets below. jeonghan stirred first, warm breath brushing over joshua's shoulder where he lay curled into him, limbs a lazy knot. the room smelled like skin and spent heat, faint traces of their bond still lingering in the air — sweet, sharp, grounding.

joshua was soft and pliant beside him, still asleep, lashes fluttering against flushed cheeks. he looked wrecked and lovely. hair a little messy, lips a little swollen, thighs bruised faintly where jeonghan had held him too tight. jeonghan should've felt guilty for that, probably. but instead, he just felt... full. not just sated. not just physically satisfied. something in his chest had quieted — some bone-deep tension that had been there for weeks since the bond first sparked between them. it had quieted the moment joshua had whispered, "i want to," like a secret, like a promise.

his eyes trailed down the exposed slope of joshua's back, the soft dip of his waist, the curve of his hips barely hidden under the twisted sheet. jeonghan remembered the way joshua had looked last night in that goddamn lingerie, all red lace and black leather, straddling uncertainty and desire. the way he'd trembled, snarked, blushed — he'd driven jeonghan half out of his mind. and now he was here, still tangled in his arms, not running.

jeonghan leaned in, pressing a kiss to joshua's bare shoulder.

"morning," he murmured, voice hoarse.

joshua let out a soft, sleepy sound, somewhere between a hum and a sigh. "mm. your breath smells like sex and regret."

jeonghan laughed, low in his chest. "no regrets."

"gross," joshua mumbled, but he was smiling, one eye cracking open to meet jeonghan's gaze. "you're still annoying."

"and you're still bratty," jeonghan replied, brushing a hand through joshua's hair, slow and indulgent. "but cute."

joshua blushed at that — immediate, visible, all pink in the cheeks and ears. he tried to turn away, burying his face into the pillow. "stop talking."

"you literally got on your knees last night wearing lingerie and begged to be — "

"shut up!" joshua squeaked, kicking at him under the covers.

jeonghan caught his ankle easily, smirking. "look at you. already starting fights. you're lucky i'm too tired to bend you over again."

joshua groaned, dramatic. "you're the worst."

but his fingers were clutching at the sheet, and his body was inching closer. jeonghan noticed every twitch, every nervous glance, every tremble. he knew what joshua was doing — trying to pretend nothing had changed while pressing himself closer anyway. it didn't feel like denial, pretending the bond hadn't wrapped itself tight around their hearts. but the way joshua's fingers slid over jeonghan's stomach like they belonged there? it made something in him ache.

they stayed like that for a while, pressed close under the covers, limbs tangled, occasionally teasing, occasionally quiet. jeonghan didn't know how long passed before joshua eventually sighed and sat up, stretching with a little groan. his spine curved in a way that made jeonghan's gaze drop instinctively, jaw tightening.

"what," joshua asked, catching him staring.

"nothing," jeonghan said, all innocent.

"you're staring like you want to eat me again."

"i do want to eat you again," jeonghan said plainly, watching with great satisfaction as joshua's blush deepened. "but i'll let you make me breakfast first."

"wow," joshua said dryly. "romantic."

"you'll survive, princess."

joshua rolled his eyes and pulled on one of jeonghan's oversized shirts, the hem falling halfway down his thighs. jeonghan watched him pad barefoot across the floor, hair messy, shirt swallowing his frame, and felt something very dangerous settle in his chest.

they ended up in the kitchen not long after, both still a little dazed and aching but pretending they were totally normal. joshua was humming something soft under his breath as he pulled out ingredients, barefoot on the cool tile, sleeves pushed up. jeonghan sat on the counter, sipping from a mug, eyes never leaving him.

joshua cracked an egg one-handed, effortlessly, and glanced back at him. "what?"

"you sing when you cook," jeonghan said, voice quiet.

"you're weirdly observant," joshua replied, but his smile was shy. "you're staring again."

"can you blame me?" jeonghan tilted his head. "you're literally glowing."

"it's the afterglow," joshua said, smug.

"brat."

"horndog."

jeonghan laughed again, unable to help it. he hopped off the counter, coming up behind joshua as he stirred something in the pan. he wrapped his arms around joshua's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. joshua stiffened for a second — just a second — and then leaned back into him, softening.

"you're clingy today," joshua murmured.

"shut up. i'm basking."

"you're heavy."

"you love it."

joshua rolled his eyes but didn't move away. jeonghan nosed into his neck, breathing in that familiar scent, now mixed with his own. he'd said it last night, breathless and raw — "you smell like home." and he meant it. still meant it.

he'd always resisted the bond, afraid of what it meant. afraid of losing control, of being vulnerable. but joshua — snarky, blushing, cute, bratty little thing that he was — had snuck under his skin. now he couldn't imagine waking up without him beside him. he didn't know how he hadn't seen it before.

jeonghan pressed a kiss just under joshua's ear. "thank you," he whispered.

joshua froze slightly. "...for what?"

"for last night. for trusting me. for choosing me. even if you were annoying about it."

joshua turned in his arms, wide eyes blinking up at him. "i didn't say i chose you."

jeonghan raised a brow. "you wore lace. you moaned my name. i think that counts."

"technicalities," joshua muttered, flustered, but he was smiling.

jeonghan leaned down, their foreheads brushing. "we'll figure it out," he murmured. "you and me."

"maybe," joshua said. "unless you keep being corny. then i'll dump you."

"you're stuck with me," jeonghan said, smug.

and the truth was: they were stuck. bound. tethered. but more than that, they were choosing this now. choosing each other. and as joshua laughed, tipping his chin up to press a soft kiss to jeonghan's mouth, jeonghan let himself hope — for once, that this could be real.

t b c

Chapter Text

it started with a knock on the study door.

jeonghan was rarely nervous. he could stare down council elders, diplomats, even feral alphas from rival clans without blinking. but as he stood there outside the room joshua liked to hide in when he was reading, his palms were sweaty and his heart was thudding so loudly it made him dizzy.

he almost turned back. almost. but then the door creaked open.

"you're fidgeting," joshua said, tilting his head, his oversized sweater slipping off one shoulder. "you planning to kill me, or kiss me?"

jeonghan scoffed, stepping inside. "would it be bad if it were both?"

"hmm," joshua tapped his lip, eyes gleaming. "depends on the order."

they both smiled.

two weeks had passed since that morning — tangled sheets, whispered confessions, the subtle shift in the way they touched. everything had been gentler. more real. joshua still rolled his eyes and called him names. jeonghan still smirked and manhandled him into walls or against countertops. but it had changed. it was love now, in the quietest and loudest ways.

"you alright?" joshua asked, softly now, padding closer. he smelled like lavender and parchment. his hair was tied back messily. he looked like he belonged in jeonghan's arms.

and god, he did.

"i wanted to give you something," jeonghan said, pulling a small box from his pocket. joshua's brows rose, but he didn't speak, watching quietly as jeonghan opened it. inside was a ring — simple but elegant, rose gold with a gentle curve, engraved delicately on the inside.

but beside it, nestled in the velvet, was a small ornate key.

"this," jeonghan said, voice husky, "is for the ring, a promise ring. if you'll have me. but also — "

he lifted the key, gently placed it into joshua's hand.

" — this is for the bedroom door i keep locked when you're angry. for the study when you want to storm off. for the wine cabinet because i don't trust you when you're tipsy. for my closet, for my dresser. for the front door. for every door in this house."

joshua's throat worked.

jeonghan stepped closer. "this is your home. if you'll still have me."

"forever"

the silence between them hummed. joshua looked at the key like it was made of starlight. then he looked up, and smiled. shy and radiant and blushing so hard jeonghan thought he'd combust.

"took you long enough, you idiot," he whispered, jeonghan slipping the ring on his omega's finger before joshua curled his arms around jeonghan's neck and kissing him. "i've been yours since you yelled at me for putting sugar in your coffee."

"you ruined perfectly good coffee," jeonghan murmured into his lips, pulling him impossibly closer.

"and you ruined my life, but i suppose we're even."

they laughed, then kissed again, and again.

they marked each other that night — willingly this time, no heat, no instincts. just devotion. joshua's breath hitched when jeonghan's teeth grazed his skin, but he tilted his head without hesitation, arms wrapped around his alpha like he never wanted to let go.

"you smell like mine," jeonghan whispered afterward, brushing his fingers across the raw spot gently. "finally."

joshua, flushed and breathless beneath him, whispered, "i've always been yours. you were just slow."

and then they were tangled together in bed, skin to skin, mouths soft and slow, hands mapping each other like they were memorizing home. joshua murmured teases in between kisses, calling jeonghan dramatic and bossy, but each word was followed by something softer — "my alpha," or "so warm," or "never leave."

they stayed like that for hours. just holding each other, laughing, whispering secrets under the blankets like teenagers with a crush. the movie they were watching, long forgotten. joshua's legs tangled with jeonghan's, and he kept stealing the blanket even though he claimed not to be cold.

"you're clingy," jeonghan muttered, feigning annoyance.

"and you love it."

jeonghan chuckled, brushing hair out of joshua's face. "i really do."

they didn't talk about the past, or the arrangement, or how reluctant they both were in the beginning. but it lingered, a quiet testament to how far they'd come. how deeply they'd fallen for each other in spite of it all.

"remember when you used to glare at me during dinner?" joshua asked, his cheek pressed against jeonghan's chest.

"you used to sigh dramatically every time i entered a room."

"you made me wear slippers."

"you used to walk around in towels. you deserved it."

"pervert."

"brat."

they smiled.

later that night, as moonlight spilled across the sheets, joshua curled into jeonghan's side again, sleep-heavy and warm. he tucked his face into jeonghan's neck, arms draped over his waist like ivy. jeonghan stroked his back slowly, listening to his breathing even out.

he looked down at him, and his chest ached with something too big for words. joshua, soft and silly and maddening. joshua, who filled every corner of the house with laughter and lavender and sharp little remarks that always ended with a smile. joshua, who gave him meaning, who made everything feel full.

he kissed his temple. then his cheek. then his jaw. and finally, he let his lips linger against the gentle swell of joshua's stomach.

his hand spread there next, firm and protective.

he didn't say anything. didn't need to.

but when joshua stirred, half-asleep, and mumbled, "you found out? i was gonna surprise you."

jeonghan smiled against his skin. "of course i did. your scent changed."

joshua's fingers curled into his shirt. "you don't think it's unexpected?"

"ofcourse not." jeonghan whispered, kissing his stomach again, reverent. "this is the best thing you've ever given me."

and as joshua drifted off again, safe and warm in his alpha's arms, jeonghan whispered one last thing into the hush of the night.

"you were never just arranged," he breathed against his mate's skin. "you were always mine."

e n d

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