Chapter 1: gold rush
Chapter Text
Este doesn’t know when she first fell for Dorothea, maybe it was an instant click, like when their hands grazed each other’s at dinner with her family on the cruise. Or maybe it was something slower, like waves building up to bring in tide. However it happened, she undeniably knows it’s true love. Nevertheless, she’s still nervous, sitting under the bleachers with a blunt and a bouquet of flowers she picked up at the gas station. She wonders how Dorothea will respond, and worries if she’s good enough for her. She stares down at her dress, forever feeling uncomfortable in her body. Just then, a soft, warm breath scrapes over her shoulder.
“Hello.” Este hears Dorothea whisper softly into her ear as her heart begins to race in her chest.
Dorothea takes a seat next to her, gesturing to pass the blunt to her. Este immediately folds, handing it over with shaking hands. Dorothea takes a hit from it and slowly exhales, while Este fidgets with the bouquet.
Neither of them say anything, but they both know why they’re here. The communication is almost telepathic. Dorothea inches closer and cusps Este’s face, staring deeply into her honey-coloured eyes.
Finally Este breaks the silence, “I have something I’ve been hiding from you.”
Dorothea shushes her, “I know.” gliding her lips over her’s.
Este gives in for a second, but then quickly backs away, curling up with tears streaming down her face. “No, Dottie, you don’t.”
Dorothea places her hand over Este’s shoulder, stroking it gently, waiting for her to elaborate.
“You’ll never understand. I can’t do the things you do. I can’t love you, Dottie, I’m sorry.” She looks up with tear filled eyes, and snot flowing down her face. Even at her worst, Dorothea thinks she looks gorgeous.
“I’m not like you, Dottie. You’re the perfect girl. You’re so beautiful, you have amazing grades, your hair falls into place like domino’s. I’m nothing like that! No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough for them. For my family, for the town and even for you. If it came out that two girls, let alone us two, were together, we’d be exiled!” She whispers in a shaky voice, terrified of being heard.
Dorothea grabs a handkerchief from her purse, cleaning up Este’s face with care. She holds Este in her arms, speaking in a calm and clear tone, “It’s okay. We can keep it a secret, I know we can. To me, this love is worth the risk.” She brings her lips to Este’s, pulling her to the ground, kissing her gently and softly.
“Este, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. You are always worth it to me, in every timeline.” Dorothea runs her fingers over Este’s braid, admiring her skills.
They end up falling asleep, tangled together under the star-lit night sky.
Chapter 2: guilty as sin?
Summary:
TW: religious trauma, homophobia & implied abuse. this one’s heavy, sorry!!
Chapter Text
Dorothea felt the eyes pierce through her as she walked down the aisles of the church, to sit in the pews next to her family. The look of pity and worry in their eyes made her feel like her own heart was being scraped out of her chest. The whispers of ‘What a shame.’ and ‘I knew that girl was a bad influence. She’s corrupted our Dorothy’ made her furious. Nobody knew who she truly was.
Dorothea & Este had been together for over two years now, managing to keep it a secret, up until now. Many were playing the blame game, with Este being on the receiving end. The townspeople adored Dorothea, ever since she was young. She was seen as a blessing. She was beautiful, with fair skin and hazelnut locks. The kind of ‘picture perfect’ smile that could light up a room. She was smart, but not too smart. She was charming. On the other side, Este was looked down upon. She had a crooked smile, and her hair was always in a braid, never flowing like Dorothea’s. She hated to wear dresses, and fought every day against it.
It was obvious that Este hadn’t been spared in the same way she had. She sat behind her, noticing the red marks and bruises covering her soft skin. She saw how Este was clinging onto her sister, Wendy, as if she would fall apart without her comfort. It broke her heart. Deep down, she knew this was all her fault. She should have never convinced her that this was a good idea. She should have known that this would happen. She shouldn’t have been so reckless, because, at the end of the day, Este paid the price. Dorothea sank down into the pews, guilt and shame creeping over her. She knew it was wrong to feel this way, that love is love and it always wins, but she couldn’t help it. Not when it’s at the expense of the one she treasures most.
The pastor stood at the altar, gathering himself and clearing his throat. He lead a prayer, before speaking.
“I am sure you all understand why we have gathered here today.” He began, “A very serious matter has plagued our town, and I believe I have the solution.”
Gasps and murmuring filled the silence of the church. People were eager to know what was next, hungry for the next piece of drama to be served to them on a silver platter.
“Este has very clearly been possessed by demons. I mean, she’s been abandoning all her womanly duties, such as wearing dresses and making dinner for her father. Now this? This is obvious that the demons are trying to take our Dottie too.” He said, a smug smirk painted across his face, acting like he just told the prophecy. And the worst thing is, people acted like he did.
One woman let out a loud gasp and fainted dramatically into her husbands’ arms. Others cried and conspired. Men shouted and argued.
The pastor gave a loud clap, before announcing, “I know how to fix it. I will save not only the Windlow family & Dottie, but I will also save all of you. Your children, your teenagers and even yourselves.” He turned his attention over to the family sitting in the front row, “Este Windlow, please come up here.”
Dorothea watched as Este let go of her sister’s hand, shakily walking up to the pastor, fear consuming every fiber of her being. She felt helpless, the only thing she wanted to do was cradle her in her arms and tell her everything would be alright. She desperately wanted to sit down in a meadow with her, braiding her hair while Este laughs at how bad she is at it. But she can’t. She’s forced to sit and watch her entire world crumble before her.
The pastor placed his hands on her frail shoulders, “Now, Este, in order to return to the heavenly version of yourself, you must repent the demons and your sins.”
“Repeat after me, ‘I, Este Windlow’”
Este hesitated for a moment, but gave in, “I, Este Windlow.”
“Repent these demons in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
Este parroted the words back to him.
“And ask for forgiveness for my homosexual sins.”
Before Este could speak, Dorothea stood up.
“Wait! Stop!”
All eyes turned towards her. Her mother looked up at her like she was insane, which she probably was. Dorothea didn’t care. She trotted up to altar, pushing past the ‘concerned’ townspeople. She locked eyes with Este, desperation glistening in them. She grabbed her hands.
“Please, Este, we don’t have to live like this. Move to California with me. We can go somewhere more accepting. You’re the only one I want to love. You aren’t sinful or guilty just because you love someone. Please, come with me.” She pleaded, cusping Este’s cheeks in her hands.
In the corner of her peripheral vision, she saw a man stand up.
It was Este’s dad.
“Este. If you go through this, you will finally have what you need. You will be the holy girl we knew you were meant to be. You will be safe.”
Este’s eyes panned from Dorothea to her father about a million times before she made her choice.
She stepped back from Dorothea’s touch, her eyes anxiously darting around the room. She mouthed a quiet ‘sorry’ before shouting,
“Demon! Begone! I am Mary’s Holy daughter!”
Gasps and cheers erupted from the pews, chants of hallelujah could be heard from miles away. Este’s parents ran to hug her, but her sister stayed, looking sorrowful at Dorothea. That kind of look that says ‘This isn’t right, I’m so so sorry’.
Dorothea was escorted out by church staff, crying and staring Este down with her opal eyes.
And just like that, they parted their ways. No goodbyes, no kisses, nothing. Just a choice.