Chapter Text
“YOU’RE FUCKING SICK!”
Vax’s sensors inform him that this is an above average volume. Yelling.
Two figures he identifies as Maker and Mami are in front of him. The first people he has ever seen but who he is able to identify the moment he was activated approximately 44 seconds ago.
The yells come from Mami, whose voice is hoarse as he waves his arms in the air. He throws things at Maker, things that Vax doesn’t know the names of. Something hits Maker and he stumbles, then Mami closes the distance and punches him in the face.
Maker’s screen cracks and he falls onto the ground, sparking with electricity.
Vax is not sure how to respond – he only has one directive in the corner of his vision.
-love Mami
Maker clutches the side of his head, words coming out of himself distorted and ugly. Vax is unable to decipher what he’s trying to say.
“Do you realize how fucking insane this is?” Mami shouts. “You think this fixes anything?”
Maker goes quiet, ducking his head and huddling closer to the wall.
Vax thinks there should be a response from himself.
-love Mami
He loves Mami.
The directive remains.
-love Mami
Mami comes closer to Vax. Close enough that Vax has to tilt his head up to look at his face. Mami’s lip has curled up, revealing bared fangs.
Maker makes a soft sound from the floor.
-love Mami
Mami’s arm swings towards Vax and he hears a crack and his world tilts sideways. Boxes with flashing text crowd in front of his face.
Error
Error
Error
Damage
Error
Error
Error
Vax’s first day of life is a short one.
Chapter Text
Maker’s screen is no longer cracked and Mami isn’t in the room.
According to Vax’s clock, it has been 143 hours since he’d been forced to shut down.
There are no more flashing boxes and his sight is clear enough that he can focus on Maker’s face.
“Do you know who I am?” Maker asks.
Vax blinks. Yes. He is Maker.
A clawed finger presses against the top of his frame and then traces down until it lands on his throat.
“Vax,” Maker presses. “Nod if you know who I am.”
Vax nods.
Maker’s expression twists. Vax tries to place it – he knows he should have data on expressions, but it appears he has no access to it. He doesn’t know what to do about that.
-love Mami
Mami isn’t here. He isn’t sure how that would help.
“Are you okay?” Maker asks.
Vax doesn’t know how to answer that.
“Vax?”
A tiny error appears on Vax’s screen. Maker’s expression twists again. His hands wrap around Vax’s torso and he lifts him up to bring him closer and taps at his screen. Now that Vax is higher, he can see more of the room.
There are pieces of Vax.
He sees a cracked screen among them.
As Maker taps at his screen, Vax does a brief diagnostics check.
Every part is accounted for. There is nothing damaged.
Vax nods.
Maker pauses. “…That was quite the delay,” he murmurs. “Alright, then.”
His finger moves down to the side of Vax’s head and holds down a button.
Vax only sees the flicker of the ‘Powering Off’ notification before everything goes black.
Chapter Text
Vax is on a carpeted floor this time and the first thing he sees is someone’s feet. Looking up, he connects them to Maker. Maker watches him with his arms crossed behind his back.
“Vax, do you know who I am? Nod if you know who I am.”
Vax blinks. He knows he is Maker. And he knows the word, he thinks – but something is missing. Something doesn’t… connect. He doesn’t know what to do. Another diagnostics check shows nothing is wrong with him.
He stares up at Maker cluelessly.
Maker hums and his mouth has curved up at the corners. A smile. This is a positive thing. Vax smiles back, as is the appropriate response.
Maker crouches down and holds a finger out to him. Vax stares at it for a second and then reaches out to wrap his hand around it.
Maker’s smile is even bigger now. “Good boy,” he says, confirming this was also the appropriate response. He takes his finger back and picks Vax up. “You ready to see your mother?”
-love Mami
Vax is ready to see Mami. Vax loves Mami.
Again, the directive doesn’t change. He must need Mami’s confirmation that he is loved before it’s marked as complete.
Chapter Text
The room Mami is in is damaged and dirty.
Mami is in bed with a man with white and pink fur bouncing on his lap. Their mouths are together as they gasp and moan.
The man pulls his face away and adjusts his arms on Mami’s shoulders, eyes flicking up to Maker and Vax for a second.
He goes completely still.
“What the fuck?” the man chokes.
“It’s just Vox, you dumb slut. If you don’t keep going—” Mami’s voice falters as his eyes finally land on them. He blinks hard a couple of times, squinting. Then his eyes widen and he shoves the man off of him.
The man tumbles to the side and looks at Vax again, swaying in place.
“Oh god,” the man says, voice thick. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna be sick.” He disappears onto the other side of the bed, hunching over.
Vax hears ugly, retching sounds.
“Val,” Maker calls, voice cheery. “Vax wants to see you.”
-love Mami
Mami jerks back, then bares his teeth.
“Get that thing away from me.”
Maker doesn’t move. “Don’t be like that. He misses you.”
-love Mami
Mami stumbles out of bed and steps closer.
Vax abruptly remembers what happened the last time Mami got close to him.
Maker manages to get both of them out of the room without any damage to their screens.
Chapter Text
Maker puts him in a crib that’s empty except for a single thin blanket.
It looks as though a corner has been chewed.
“It’s a little early, but you can go to bed. I’ve got work to do,” Maker says. “Your mother might be in a better mood tomorrow morning when he sobers up. That fucking Angel Dust is a bad influence on him.”
Vax is lifted again as Maker adjusts him and lays him under the blanket. He tucks it around him and strokes the top of his head.
The stroking stops after a moment and Maker studies him. There’s no trace of a smile and Vax wonders if he missed a cue.
Maker touches one of his heart-shaped antenna toppers. His eyes flick back down and his face twitches.
Maker pulls his hand away and rubs the side of his own face. “Alright, yeah… tomorrow. Goodnight, Vax.”
Chapter Text
Vax exits sleep mode by the sound of Maker entering the room.
“Morning, Vax,” Maker says. “Ready for breakfast?”
Breakfast is food he cannot eat.
Maker has Vax sitting in a special chair that is just his size while he sits across from him at a table. A woman he calls Kitty has served Maker a plate of food, but she needs Maker’s prompting to put a plate of something in front of Vax. Vax is unable to identify what it is. It’s different from Maker’s food.
He isn’t sure what to do with it.
He can’t eat.
Maker doesn’t give him any orders. He’s eating his own breakfast while looking at his phone.
Not eating gives no negative reactions, so Vax assumes this is the correct course of action.
He waits patiently for Maker to tell him what to do when he’s ready.
-love Mami
He hears footsteps approaching them and turns.
Mami stares at the set up with wide eyes. “You can’t—” he chokes. “That’s not—How can you—”
“Calm down, Val,” Maker says softly but firmly. “Just sit and eat with us.”
Mami blinks hard and then sneers as he stomps towards them. He grabs the plate in front of Vax, flips it in his hand, and swings it.
“God dammit, Val!”
Error
Error
Error
Chapter Text
Maker tugs at his antennae.
“Do these hurt?” Maker asks. “Are they working properly?”
Vax doesn’t know what they’re supposed to do. He’s also not sure how to respond.
-love Mami
Maker tugs a little harder now. “You haven’t—I’ve tried… they don’t seem to be working. You haven’t been very responsive.” He gives another tug, then catches himself and releases him. “I can’t pick up your signal, kid.”
All Vax can do is twitch them. He does so.
Maker frowns.
Chapter Text
On his 89th hour of being active, Maker throws himself in front of Vax when Mami throws something heavy at him.
He swears and stumbles, clutching his shoulder.
“What’s you damn problem, Val!” Maker snaps. “Leave him alone!”
“Get rid of it! Get rid of it!” Mami screams. “Get it out of my tower! I don’t want it here!”
“You don’t get to decide where he stays!” Maker shouts back. “You lost that right you sick fuck!”
Mami rears back, his eyes are wet and when he speaks again, his voice cracks. “This is fucked up even for you. Why are you doing this?”
“I’m trying to help you. Help us. Things can be good again. Just trust me, Val. This can work.”
“It’s making everything worse. Get rid of it!” Mami slams a fist against the wall. “I don’t want it anywhere near me!”
Maker sneers. “You’re a damn coward.” He shakes his head and scoops Vax up in his arms as he leaves the room. “Come on, Vax, you’ll come with me to work today.”
“Don’t call it that!” Mami wails from behind. The door shuts behind them, muffling his screams and cries.
“My office is boring,” Maker says when they enter a dark blue room. “But I have a playpen in here. There should be something for you to entertain yourself with.”
There are many objects in the playpen – none of which Vax knows the names of aside from ‘blanket’ and ‘pillow’.
Maker sets him down in the middle of them and then walks to his desk for work.
Vax stays in place, looking between each object.
He doesn’t know what they are or what to do with them.
-love Mami
Maker gives him no instructions.
He continues to sit.
Chapter Text
Maker paces in front of the playpen for a little while, hours later.
When he comes closer, his smile is on his face, but it’s a little different.
“Okay, Vax, I need you to try really hard, now,” Maker says. “Try broadcasting. Don’t worry, it’s just you and me.”
Vax searches for any data on broadcasting.
-love Mami
He finds ‘wi-fi’, but it requires a password. He does not know what it is.
“Come on, kid,” Maker says, leaning over him. His claws dig into the edge of the playpen. “Just… anything. Send something. Show me that you’re there.”
Vax blinks. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how.
-love Mami
“Vax, please.”
Chapter Text
Vax exits sleep mode and sits up in the crib, waiting.
Maker isn’t here yet.
When three hours pass and its well past breakfast time, he thinks he should go back into sleep mode. It might be more appropriate for Maker to wake him up as he usually does.
Before he can set himself up, the door opens.
Maker strides in, eyes on his phone.
“Busy morning,” he mutters. He looks at Vax, frowning.
-love Mami
He doesn’t think that’s what Maker wants right now.
He twitches his antenna.
Maker’s frown turns a little smaller and he touches Vax’s antenna toppers.
There’s a moment of silence. Vax tries very hard to broadcast, though he still doesn’t know what that is.
“How about you stay here today? You already missed breakfast.”
Vax twitches his antenna again.
Nothing.
Maker sighs and puts his hand on Vax’s head, moving his thumb a little in a repeating stroking motion.
“…I’ll see you later, okay?”
He’s failing.
Chapter Text
Maker doesn’t come back until later that night after Vax has spent hours trying to do the one thing Maker has asked of him.
-love Mami
Not that.
-love Mami
Broadcast.
-love Mami
-love Mami
-love Mami
He thinks he might be broken.
Maker picks him up and takes him out of the crib and to another room. He sits down and places Vax on his lap, petting him. He’s saying words to him, softly, and though Vax can understand them, the way the words and sentences are arranged is odd. Maker’s voice also isn’t consistent – it pitches up and down.
“Are you fucking serious, Vox?!”
Maker flinches.
Mami is here.
-love Mami
“Leave me alone,” Maker says.
“What the hell do you think this is going to fix?” Mami asks. He’s in front of them now, three fists shaking at his side. His fourth hand jerks in Vax’s general direction. “This doesn’t make up for everything you didn’t do. That’s not him. You’re playing with a doll, moron.”
Maker’s shoulders hunch and his arms wrap around Vax more securely. One of his hands wraps carefully around Vax’s torso. Automatically, Vax moves his own hand to grip Maker’s finger—
He's yanked out of Maker’s hold.
Something around his neck pops from the sudden movement.
Now he’s dangled up high above Maker.
Something squeezes.
Vax’s cameras glitch and distort his surroundings. He can’t see.
Mami is gripping him hard. His cameras clear for a moment and he sees that Maker stays a distance back, hands poised as though to grab him and his eyes are wide.
“Does this act like a baby to you? Look at it, Vox!” Mami shakes him. “Look! It doesn’t care! It’s not alive!”
He’s thrown and hits a wall. Errors flash and when he lands on the floor, he automatically attempts to reorient himself.
Mami’s yell cracks as he repeats himself, breaking down into sobs.
“It’s not alive!”
Error
“Val. Val. Fuck—”
Vax’s vision is still distorted. Is Mami on the ground?
-love Mami
“Shh, baby, I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t fucking – Don’t fucking touch me.”
Error
Error
Error
Chapter Text
Error
Error
Error
Vax is somewhere dark.
Vax doesn’t—
Vax doesn’t know where exactly.
Boxes and loud notifications are blocking his sight. He can hear a whir – a sound that is too loud. Some part of him knows he isn’t supposed to hear it.
Unexpectedly, his body jolts and his head hits something.
The whir speeds up and stutters. There’s a grinding sound.
From his chest, he realizes.
He tries to run a diagnostics check.
Error
Error
Error
Something touches him. Someone.
His sensors recognize the touch belongs to Maker.
Vax is lifted up.
Maker can fix him.
The whirring slows a little and Vax decides to prioritize clearing the boxes from his sight until Maker shuts him down to repair him.
Maker doesn’t carry him far.
Vax has barely managed to clear enough of the notifications to see the trash can for the briefest second before Maker drops him inside.
The impact is enough to finally force him to shut him down.
Chapter Text
Vax is slammed onto a table in front of Mami.
It’s been 284 hours since he was last active.
“Here he is!” Maker says with a wide grin and a strange lilt.
Mami’s eyes are wide, and his teeth are bared. The hand holding his cigarette is shaking.
-love Mami
“Fuck you,” he hisses.
He swipes at Vax, but Maker yanks him out of the way. The way he holds Vax is different, now.
“Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this what you bitched about for days?”
Mami stands up, swaying, and dives at Vax again. Again, Maker keeps him away from him. This time, he’s bumped against something on a table. Vax hears the crash of something breaking.
“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!”
Mami throws something at Maker. He misses.
Vax is dropped on the ground as wires spring from Maker’s back and stab towards Mami.
They’re both screaming, voices too loud and too hoarse for Vax to make out the words. There are several loud bangs – louder than their yells. Wires swing and stab and electricity surges through the air.
Red splatters everywhere, including on top of Vax.
It obscures his vision.
He tries to wipe it off with his hands, but his arms are too short.
The yelling stops.
Chapter Text
Hours later, Kitty wipes him down and moves on to the rest of the room. She throws trash and mops up the red. Broken furniture is discarded and before long, the room is almost back to the way it was before.
Maker and Mami aren’t here.
He has been left alone with no instructions.
So Vax waits on the floor where he had fallen and where Kitty had returned him after picking him up to wipe him down.
He goes into sleep mode.
33 hours later, Mami returns.
-love Mami
Their eyes meet.
Mami is missing one.
Mami kicks him across the room with a furious scream.
Chapter Text
His screen is cracked and there’s an occasional colorful box flashing in front of his face, alerting him to damage.
Error
Error
Error
Vax doesn’t know what to do about it.
-love Mami
Clearly, he is broken. He thinks he’s always been broken. His diagnostics checks must have been malfunctioning this whole time. Too broken to realize he’s broken. Maybe too broken for Maker to fix.
He hasn’t seen Maker.
He’s only seen Mami.
Mami doesn’t know he’s here.
After Mami had kicked him, he had landed near furniture close to a wall. Vax stayed there, damaged, with no idea how to proceed.
As before, Kitty eventually found him, swept up his broken pieces and then set him down neatly back on the floor. She did not return his pieces.
He’s missing pieces.
He thinks of the sound of the whirring and rattling and grinding in his chest. It’s a dangerous sound. He doesn’t hear it now, though. It’s a good thing he doesn’t hear it. He hadn’t known what it was but something in his systems told him it was bad.
Missing pieces is still bad.
Maker has more parts of him.
Maker can fix him.
Vax feels a tiny jolt through his body.
Maker isn’t here.
Would Maker come back? Would Maker fix him?
Or would he throw him away again?
What if Maker never came back? What if Mami hurt him too?
What—
He hears the whir. It gets louder and louder and louder and—
Error
Error
Error
Chapter Text
When he reboots, Vax is in the same place as he had been before. Only a few minutes passed.
He is so damaged he had rebooted without warning.
The whirring starts up again.
His body spasms involuntarily.
Error
Error
Error
This isn’t right.
The whirring speeds up.
Error
Error
Error
He’s still broken. What does he do?
-love Mami
Louder, louder, louder—
Something rattles harshly in him. He sees a spark and—
Error
Error
Error
Chapter Text
He’s rebooted six times in an hour.
The whirring slowed, finally, when he resigned himself to the constant reboots.
Nothing has changed in that window of time. From his hidden corner, he’s only seen glimpses of Mami. He’s lounging on the couch, drinking from a bottle that Kitty has given him. Vax only knows this because he can see the tilt of it every so often. Occasionally he hears a soft, angry, mumble but aside from that the room is quiet.
Mami will move at some point.
Mami will see him again.
Damage him again.
Vax still doesn’t know where Maker is and if he can fix him.
He doesn’t have any directives. None except—
-love Mami
—and it is incredibly unhelpful. Undoubtedly just another error in his system.
He could try to find Maker. He’s never walked on his own, but he knows he can. Or at least, he was programmed to think he can. His body is oddly shaped and on top of that, damaged.
Vax looks down at his own legs and for the first time really takes note of how they move and bend. He slowly moves them, studying them. He looks at his own arms after that. Four. Tiny and short. Everything is so tiny and short. He has wings but they’re useless. He can twitch the base of them but the rest appears to be thick fabric.
He needs to stand.
…He can’t.
No matter how much power Vax tries to put in his legs and no matter how much he twists his body around, Vax cannot get himself to stand up. He’s tried using his hands to push himself up, but there’s no power in any of his limbs and he ends up pushing himself back onto his bottom or sliding back until he bumps into a piece of furniture or wall.
He doesn’t consider the noise he’s making until it’s too late.
Vax falls forward, this time hearing the click of a heel on tile stopping right in front of him.
The whir starts up again when he realizes he can’t even flip himself over to look up.
Error
Error
Error
He’s lifted up roughly be his antenna and is face to face with Mami.
-love Mami
Dark red, almost black, stains half of Mami’s face where it had leaked out from under a white bandage. His remaining eye is glowing red and angry. Now that he’s closer, Vax can see lashes along his skin and some ends of the fur on his ruff is black and dried.
Mami’s arm goes up, ready to smash him on the ground.
Vax feels a jolt in him again. He’s already damaged. Maker isn’t here—
Without processing it, he flinches. The sudden movement causes him to swing in Mami’s hand.
Mami stops.
Unexpectedly, Vax is dropped on a countertop.
Vax looks up at him.
Mami stares back.
Mami’s bottom lip trembles.
Then he bares his fangs at him and leaves the room.
Vax hadn’t noticed how fast his internal fans were spinning until they slow down.
Chapter Text
If he ignores the occasional error box, Vax can see outside the window from his spot on the counter. There isn’t a lot to look at. He only sees boxes – buildings – and small black dots moving.
He watches as the red sky darkens and lightens and then darkens again.
He can’t leave the countertop. He would break if he tried.
He doesn’t want to think about what will happen when Mami comes back and still sees him there.
Unfortunately, he does think about it. He’d break then too.
No matter what he does he will end up broken.
He wonders if Maker is hurt. Maybe he’s okay. Maybe he’s working.
…Mami was hurt.
-love Mami
Vax can’t lose an eye. His cameras can break or be covered, but his eyes aren’t flesh like Mami’s. He doesn’t know what it would feel like. He imagines it would be unpleasant. Maybe something like the whirring and the rattling he hears in his body. A flood of error boxes taking over everything.
The door is slammed open.
Maker drags Mami in by one of his arms and tries to throw him into the room.
Mami is much larger than him, though, and only stumbles a little. Without looking back at Maker, he walks straight to his couch and lays down, curling up.
-love Mami
“Do you know how humiliating that was?” Maker shouts. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
Mami doesn’t say anything.
-love Mami
Maker’s hands grip the top of his screen. “FUCK! Val.” He lowers a hand and point a claw at him. “Have you any idea what the fuck the public is going to think of this? We are supposed to be laying low! You can’t pick fights with fucking Lucifer.
You couldn’t wait until your damn face fixed itself? Why not just broadcast how much of a fucking mess we are, huh? What did you think this was going to accomplish? You’re lucky he didn’t kill you!”
Mami curls into a tighter ball, muttering something.
Maker scowls and leans closer. “What?”
Mami mutters something again and Maker pulls back with a sneer.
“You’re pathetic. Be fucking grateful Lucifer saw that.” Maker shakes his head and gives a single laugh. “And there are way easier ways, asshole. Don’t act like this wasn’t just a cry for attention. If you do it, do it out of the public eye so I don’t have to deal with all the bullshit publicity afterwards.”
Mami just curls up tighter.
Maker turns on his heel to face away from Mami and walks a little away. He wipes at one of his eyes, still scowling. After a few more deep breaths, his expression is calm, and he continues walking in Vax’s general direction.
Until he finally sees Vax.
Maker stops so abruptly he almost falls over. His hand slams onto the countertop to steady himself as a strangled sound escapes him.
They stare at each other for a while and Maker’s body eventually loosens and he lets out a loud, shaky sigh. “Fuck, for a second I thought…” he shakes his head. “You’re still here. Holy shit.”
Vax doesn’t know where else he could have gone.
Maker frowns and leans forward. “Damn, he really did a number on you.”
Would Maker fix him? Would he turn him off? Vax didn’t care which.
“How did you get up here, anyway?” Maker carefully picks him up, running one hand up and down his body. “Did Val… No. Kitty. She must have been cleaning up.”
Vax doesn’t know if he’s waiting for a response.
Maker’s hand touches some of his damaged part and the smile he gives… isn’t a happy one.
“You don’t feel pain,” Maker says.
It’s a coincidence that he says it when Vax had been pondering that himself.
“You’d be dead if you did.” Another laugh. “God, I’m a fucking idiot. Me and Val, a pair of pathetic fucking dumbasses, aren’t we?”
Vax doesn’t have a response to that.
Maker sighs. He adjusts his hold so that he’s cradling Vax again, like before.
They stay like that for a while.
Maker gives him a little squeeze. A hug.
“I’m sorry for leaving you with him,” Maker says. “Let’s get you fixed up.”
Chapter Text
Vax sits on the corner of a desk, repaired, and watching Maker’s hands glide over holograms. He knows he should be able to read what’s on them, but apparently something is blocking him from really comprehending it.
“Look at this,” Maker scoffs, not showing him anything he can read. He sees pictures of Mami and strangers. “Complete meltdown in front of Lucifer and the Vees still come out on top. The public never changes. They love a good sob story.” He leans back in his chair. “This can be good for us. If Velvette can see that, maybe she’ll move back in. It’ll be easier to keep Val under control with her around.”
-love Mami
Maker uses one hand to stroke the top of Vax’s head. “That damn idiot. I don’t know what to do with him. He’s either yelling, crying or high out of his damn mind nowadays and hardly gets any work done. He needs to understand we have to get back on track. I get it, I do. I cared and look where that got me. I snapped too. But…” Maker sighs. “I’m dealing with it now, aren’t I? I’m dealing with it better than anyone.”
Vax doesn’t know what he expects in response, so he twitches his antenna. The corner of Maker’s mouth quirks up, though there’s a twitch in his eyebrows that makes Vax think he might have hurt him, somehow.
“I think,” Maker says, picking him up and putting him on his lap. “You can still be useful. You’re… easier than… than…” He pauses. Swallows. “You’re just easier. Quieter, obviously. And cleaner. Val just needs to see that.”
Maker pinches his antenna gently and drags it up. He taps the topper with a claw.
“…I can make him see that.”
Another tap.
“He’s weak. I don’t know what Lucifer did to him, but it certainly didn’t help what I did to him.”
Tap.
“He hasn’t been eating well. There’s plenty of drugs in his system. I can do it.”
Tap.
“If it helps him. If it gets him to start taking care of himself again then…it’d be worth it, wouldn’t it?”
Maker lifts him up and turns him to face him.
“How about it? How would you like for your Mami to stop hitting us?”
Vax twitches his antenna again and Maker grins.
Chapter Text
Maker is going to fix Mami.
-love Mami
At least, that’s how he phrases it.
To Vax, it looks more like he’s just talking to him. Mami doesn’t respond at first. Not until Maker sits with him and starts touching him. Petting him.
Mami makes a soft sound and Maker pulls him up into a sitting position so that their mouths are together. Two of Mami’s arms try to wrap around Maker, but Maker uses his own to push them away. He pushes his mouth harder against Mami’s, pressing him against their seat.
Vax sees Maker’s wires wrap around Mami as he pushes. Mami pulls back with a frown, head turning down to look at them – and Maker grabs his chin and turns him to face him again.
“What are you doing, Vox?” Mami growls, pulling away again. He glares straight at his face. “I know you don’t—what the fuck?!”
Mami lunges away from Maker and the wires snap around him tightly, dragging him back.
“Calm down, Val,” Maker says gently.
“Get the fuck away from me!” Mami shouts. His shouts sounds different this time. “How fucking dare you?”
“Val, this is important.” Maker grabs his chin again and uses his other hand to pull Mami’s remaining eye open. Maker’s left eye pulses with black rings. “Just relax. It’s going to be fine.”
Mami snarls and yanks his head back, then lunges forward to sink his teeth deep into Maker’s hand.
“̶̥̰̣̀̇̚S̴̻̈́̎̏O̴̺̓͐͛Ṇ̷̯̭͛͒̑ ̴̠̓̆͑Ò̴͕̋F̶͙̿̄̕ ̴̪̾̄̌ͅĂ̵̠̚ ̵͉̖̊͐̓B̶̩̮͐̈͆I̶̜̋̓͜Ṯ̷̼̯́C̵̣͓͒͋͑ͅH̴̹̽͛͠!̵͇̥̕”̸̛͚͒ Maker screams and he swings his other hand into the side of Mami’s face with an ugly crack.
Vax flinches.
Red gushes out of the bite on Maker’s hand and from Mami’s mouth.
The yelling. The fighting. Maker is getting hurt. Mami is getting hurt.
He doesn’t want to see this. He doesn’t—
Vax will end up damaged again.
He turns to look away. It’s not enough. Something is flung overhead, and he feels a jolt in his body. He can hear the whirr. He doesn’t want this. He wants to leave.
He tries to move and flops over.
“Stop fighting it!” Maker shouts.
There is a loud thump and a thud. More glass breaks.
He sees Kitty speed past him and a moment later, her severed head is flung across the room by a wire.
Vax clumsily uses his hands to pull himself along the floor, then uses his feet to push.
Each yell and thump gives him a burst of energy until he finds himself behind a piece of furniture. His fans are spinning fast and he hides himself between the furniture and the wall.
Mami’s yells are suddenly stifled and all he can hear from him is thumps as Maker shouts out for him to calm down.
The thumps slow to a stop.
He can hear Maker repeating himself, “Shh, Val, calm down. Calm down. You’re fine. You’re safe. Shh. It’s going to be alright now.”
-love Mami
Chapter Text
“Vax?” Maker calls. “Where the fuck did you go?”
-love Mami
A claw snags the back of his collar and Vax is pulled from his hiding spot.
Maker holds him up to his face, head tilting to the side just a little as he examines him. “Huh, so you can move.” A wire is suddenly shoved into Vax’s head and Maker taps at his face.
He unplugs the wire and nestles Vax into his arms, then turns back to Mami.
Mami is splayed out on the couch, red dripping from his mouth and eye wide open.
-love Mami
Maker places Vax next to him and Vax does not want to be there. His fingers grip the fabric of the couch and… and that’s it. He stares at his own hands, at a loss of what to do. He lowers his hands and looks to Maker, but Maker isn’t paying any attention to him. He is cupping Mami’s face in his hands, staring into his eye.
“Just a test run, for now,” Maker mutters. “We can work out the kinks later. I can craft a story for Val – and then for everyone else. This can work. Trust me, okay?”
Vax doesn’t know who he’s talking to.
Maker pulls Mami up into a sitting position and cleans the red from Mami’s mouth and strokes his face and the fur around his neck. He kneels in front of him so that he’s sitting in front of Mami’s knees.
“Val?” Maker calls sweetly.
Mami’s blinks rapidly and he shakes his head. Maker hands him his glasses and he puts them on, hands trembling. His mouth opens and closes and Vax sees his tongue dart out quickly.
He looks at Maker, confused.
“We got in a fight,” Maker says softly. “I’m sorry, Val. Really.”
Mami blinks. “Wha—” He winces and his hand jumps to his throat.
Maker puts his hands on Mami’s knees, thumbs petting him.
“I’m sorry. Things got out of hand.”
Mami still looks confused but lets Maker take his hand and push his mouth against it.
“Vox, I thought…” Mami trails off. “What did we fight about?”
“Vax,” Maker replies and Mami stiffens. “I’m so fucking sorry about that. I know you love him.”
-love Mami
“Where is he?” Mami demands. “Where—”
“Here! Right here!” Maker says quickly. He gestures at Vax, who is still next to Mami.
Mami looks at him and—
And…
And smiles.
Mami moves and Vax can’t move away. Two hands reach out for him and for the first time, Vax is in Mami’s arms. He hears the whirr inside his body as his fans spin. He doesn’t know what Mami is doing.
Mami nuzzles the back of his head and Vax doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know anything.
-love Mami
Mami freezes.
“Vax?” Mami calls. His voice gets a little louder. “Vax? What’s wrong, mijo? What…?”
“Easy, Val,” Maker says, standing up.
Mami drops him, scrambling back as though Vax hit him. “That’s not—Vax? Where’s Vax? Where’s my baby? Vox, that isn’t—”
His eye snaps back to Maker and just as his features start warping into a snarl, Maker’s wires snap around him. Maker grabs his shoulders and pins him down back onto the couch. His left eye pulses as Mami struggles, chest heaving and tears pouring down his face.
“Shh, Val, shh…”
When Mami is limp, staring straight ahead with rings pulsing in his eye, Maker turns to Vax with a strained grin.
“Give me a couple more hours and I’ll have this all straightened out.”
Chapter Text
“No wiggles today?” Mami asks.
Vax stares up at Mami. It’s been days. Mami’s eye gazes at him warmly.
“It’s your favorite song, baby.”
Mami turns the phone screen towards him. Bright colorful figures are on the screen. Vax doesn’t know the names of them. He’s having trouble processing the sounds coming from the device.
When Vax fails to respond, Mami gives him a small smile and picks him up to cuddle him on the couch.
“Are you tired? Do you want a nap?”
-love Mami
Before, Mami would offer him treats and snacks.
This would inevitably end with Mami finding out that he isn’t who he thinks he is. It had taken Maker four more sessions of alone time with Mami to make him stop trying to feed him.
Mami pushes a kiss to the top of his head.
-love Mami
Vax stays still in his hold. He is unsure of how to respond to Mami most of the time. Mami is always expecting something from him but does not react negatively when he fails. He fails a lot. He asks questions that Vax can’t answer – questions he doesn’t appear to expect answered either.
It doesn’t make sense.
He mostly holds him and kisses him and talks to him.
“I love you,” Mami says. Over and over and over.
-love Mami
Mami adjusts their positions so that they’re both laying down. He nuzzles the back of Vax’s head and kisses him again.
Nuzzling had also led to Mami having more alone time with Maker. Maker said it was the smell. The sessions, combined with a powder lightly applied to his clothes, kept Mami from screaming and trying to hurt them both.
The last couple of times had been targeted at Maker, specifically.
It’s clear, after a while, that Mami doesn’t like his alone time with Maker.
Vax has seen Mami hurt Maker before. Maker breaks like he does and feels the pain.
But seeing Mami try to run from Maker one time makes him think that, maybe, Maker makes Mami feel pain in other ways.
“Val,” Maker calls, causing both of them to look up. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“Vax isn’t feeling good,” Mami says.
Maker tilts his head, smiling. “Oh? What makes you say that?”
“He’s tired and sad.” Mami nuzzles him again. “He needs more time with his mami. I work too much.”
That is incorrect. Mami rarely leaves him.
“Hmm,” Maker steps forward. “He looks fine to me. Buuut, if you think he needs to spend more quality time with us, how about I take him for the day? Give Kitty a break.”
Usually, Kitty is put in charge of him when Mami and Maker work. She’ll clean the penthouse and ignore him, since he has no physical needs.
He can feel Mami’s frown. “He needs me.”
-love Mami
“Come on, you have that deadline approaching.” He softens his voice. “And… maybe I want to spend time with him too, you know?”
Mami’s antennae twitch at that.
“You’ll really spend time with him?”
Maker laughs. “Yes! Damn, you don’t have to sound so surprised.”
“Swear to me, Vox,” Mami snaps. “Swear you’ll spend time with him. That you won’t leave him in that damn playpen all day!”
Maker’s smile shrinks. “I don’t do that.” Mami scoffs and Maker stares. “I don’t do that, Val.”
“You do it all the time, asshole.”
Maker sneers, revealing his teeth, and his eye pulses. “I don’t do that, Val.”
Mami goes quiet.
“Give me the baby, it’s my turn,” Maker says.
Obediently, Mami hands Vax to him.
“Go to work.”
Chapter Text
“I didn’t do that,” Maker says to Vax when they’re in his office and Vax is in the playpen. “That’s just what Val does. He remembers only the bad stuff. The mistakes. I took you to – I took him to meetings. I carried him during work. Sometimes he’d be in the playpen, but it wasn’t all day, it was only… only for a few hours. Val always walked in at the wrong time. Every fucking time…”
Maker looks around suspiciously. He huffs and goes to his desk to rifle through it.
“I can’t walk into meetings with you in my arms for everyone to see,” he grumbles. He pulls something out from the desk and walks back to Vax. “And I can’t leave you here where Val will find you in the damn playpen. You’ll have to stay in here.”
Maker shows him a bag and flips open the top. It’s empty. There’s enough room for him, though the bag appears to have been made for documents rather than Vax himself.
Maker puts him inside.
Vax spends the next six hours in the dark. He hears voices. Nothing is directed at him, so he waits.
Eventually, he feels the bag move and it’s opened. There’s not nearly enough space for him to tilt his head up to see Maker, but he does feel his claw reach inside and stroke the top of his head. He flicks his antennae in response.
He’s in the bag for another three hours.
When he’s let out for the next five minutes, Maker has him on his lap as he sips a coffee and scrolls through holograms.
Mami bursts in right at the five minute mark.
-love Mami
“Holy shit, Val, your shift just ended,” Maker laughs.
Mami ignores him and snatches Vax from him.
The first thing Vax notices is he’s shaking.
Mami’s hands run all over him, taking in every inch. Maker has stiffened, watching them carefully, now. He’s waiting for Mami to get mad – to realize Vax isn’t who he thinks he is.
It doesn’t happen.
Mami gives Vax a hug and leaves the room with him without a word.
“Val!”
Mami takes him back into his home and sits on the couch, curling up with Vax pushed to his chest. Vax can hear his heart beating hard and fast. His breathing isn’t normal or steady. He appears to be gasping for air.
-love Mami
With a strangled whimper, he curls up even tighter around Vax, his whole body shaking so hard that Vax thinks he might loosen some parts in him.
“Val, what’s wrong?”
Mami’s head jerks up. Maker had followed them. “What? Nothing.”
Maker steps closer. “You’re crying.”
Mami’s hand rubs at his eye and wipes his cheek. “I’m fine.”
Maker is in front of them now and Vax notices for the first time that Mami hadn’t turned the lights on, so the room is only illuminated by his and Maker’s faces and the faint lights outside the window.
“Is something wrong with Vax?” Maker asks. His voice is calm. Vax recognizes that calm.
His fans whir.
“No,” Mami says. “No, he’s alright.” Mami’s hand strokes the top of Vax’s head gently and Vax’s spinning fans slow just a little. Mami doesn’t want to hurt him yet. Maker doesn’t have to fight him again.
“Then why are you crying?”
Maker’s hand is cupping Mami’s cheek.
Mami leans into it a little. “I… don’t know.” He holds Vax a little tighter. “I missed my baby.”
-love Mami
“You have your baby.” Maker’s eye pulses with black rings again.
“I know.” Mami’s body relaxes, and Vax has to grip his front to make sure he doesn’t slide off his lap.
“Vax is your baby.”
“Yes.”
“You’re holding your baby.”
“Yes.”
“So, you’ll stop crying.”
“Yes.”
Maker smiles. “Be happy, Val, you have Vax. You love Vax and Vax loves you very much.”
-love Mami
Chapter Text
Mami lays him on the floor, facedown.
Vax does not understand why, but he stays there, waiting.
-love Mami
He feels Mami’s fingers go to his sides and tuck under him, then lift him just a little. He’s put back down.
He stays.
…And he’s lifted again. Another one of Mami’s hands go under him to poke at his arms and legs. He’s trying to position him in some way. Vax stretches all four hands in front of himself. He’s lowered. His own body weight presses down on his limbs – and he falls.
He’s lifted again.
His knees touch the ground first this time. When his palms do the same and Mami lets go, he wobbles and falls.
Mami hums softly and he feels his hand stroking his back.
He feels him scoot a little way away.
“Vax. Vax, look at me, baby.”
It’s difficult to maneuver his head to look anywhere when he’s lying down with his chest on the floor. He struggles for a little while until he finally props himself up on his elbows.
“Come here, Vax,” Mami says when he looks at him. “Come to Mami.”
Vax does not want to come to Mami.
-love Mami
He can’t move.
He can’t do what Mami wants.
-love Mami
He’s failing again.
Mami smiles and tilts his head. “Come on, baby, just one limb in front of the other.”
Mami leans forward so that he’s on his hands and knees. Slowly, he crawls towards Vax and then sits in front of him. He takes each of Vax’s hands in his own, playing with his fingers until Vax gives him his full attention. Mami tugs at his hands and then he’s on his knees and – he slips, falling on his front.
“Oopsie,” Mami says, picking him back up. “Let’s try that again, okay?”
Vax doesn’t understand why Mami wants him to move.
He doesn’t understand Mami at all.
Mami helps him keep his knees steady and arranges his hands in front of him on the carpeted floor. He moves behind him and then goes over him. He nudges Vax forward and moves his arms for him, one at a time. It’s not until he’s done it at least three times that Vax realizes he should be trying to follow his movements himself.
Vax moves an arm and a knee, catching himself with another arm. He does it again. And again – He’s moving.
He stops, staring at his hands on the ground. He wobbles and quickly leans forward to catch himself with another hand. He’s really moving. Mami is teaching him to move. He's not perfect at it, but it’s happening. He wants to keep going.
He does.
He’s too busy staring at the ground and where to place his hands he bumps his head into a wall and falls.
Mami laughs and helps him back up, but leaves him to figure out how to turn around. His limbs tangle and he stumbles and falls, but he gets it, eventually. He’s back to crawling in a straight line again, still focusing on the ground until he bumps into Mami this time.
“You’re doing it!” Mami cheers, scooping him and placing him on his lap.
-love Mami
Vax reaches down to the floor again. He’d like to keep doing it.
“Okay, okay,” Mami says, giving him a kiss and putting him back down.
When he falls, Mami hovers over him but doesn’t help him up.
He understands, now, that Mami wants him to try himself.
Vax braces his hands underneath himself and he lifts – only to slip and fall again. He tries with his knees first the next time, but he can’t get his hands underneath himself. He falls. Again and again.
He wants to move.
He wants—
He needs…
He reaches a hand towards Mami.
Mami’s smile widens and he helps him back up.
“You just need a little help starting up, don’t you?”
Vax crawls in a circle, carefully trying to keep his limbs in order. When he falls, all he has to do is reach for Mami and Mami will help put him back in position. When he tries to go faster, Mami laughs. He laughs harder when he helps pick him up and Vax is already moving his limbs.
Mami’s laugh is much better than his yells, he realizes.
He continues to crawl and Mami continues to laugh and cheer.
-love Mami
“Come to Mami,” Mami says between giggles. “Vax, come here, baby.”
He crawls to Mami. He doesn’t know what to do when he reaches him, so he lets himself fall as soon as he bumps into him.
Mami squeaks and chitters. He knows it’s a positive sound because Mami picks him up and hugs him and doesn’t break him.
“You’re doing so good! Good boy, Vax! You’re so smart! Look at you!”
He can do this.
He can keep crawling.
He can do it. He’ll keep doing it.
He moves his limbs again.
Mami laughs and sets him down to crawl around again. There’s more squeaks mixed in.
Good. He’s doing good.
He—
“Oh, what’s going on here?”
Vax falls and Mami scoops him up so that they both face Maker who has entered the room.
“He’s learning to crawl,” Mami says. He nuzzles Vax. “He’s learning so fast.”
Maker grins. It’s very large and sharp. “Is he, now?”
Mami carefully puts Vax back down and pats his bottom. Vax crawls. He crawls to Maker’s feet and bumps into him, letting himself fall on Maker’s shoe.
Mami coos from behind him, but Maker doesn’t say anything.
Vax wonders if maybe he hadn’t seen him do it.
He still can’t get up on his own, but he tries to anyway, using Maker’s shoe as support. Maker needs to see him do it right.
Then he feels Maker pick him up.
He moves his limbs, ready to continue, but Maker holds him and cradles him to his chest.
Maker’s wire plugs into him.
He pets Vax’s head and then unplugs from him and walks back to Mami, grinning.
“Well, you two have fun, then,” he says, handing him over and walking away.
Mami’s isn’t laughing or smiling anymore. He’s staring after Maker, eyebrows pushed together.
“What a fucking asshole,” he says. He looks back down at Vax. “It’s alright, baby, you are being a very good boy. I’m so proud.”
Vax looks at him and then down at the ground. He stares.
He isn’t sure why it’s so interesting to him.
Mami smiles and puts him down. “Alright, then, go ahead.”
He sits.
Mami lifts him and moves his limbs under him.
When he lets go, Vax falls.
“No? You don’t want to keep going?”
Going?
Again, Mami picks him up and again, Vax falls.
“Come on, you can do it.”
He can’t do it. He doesn’t know what Mami wants.
-love Mami
He’s failing again.
Chapter Text
Mami teaches him to crawl 18 hours later.
He’s good at it. Fast.
He goes to Mami.
He goes in circles.
Mami laughs and cheers.
Maker sees him but unlike Mami, does not praise him.
That night he exits sleep mode by Maker plugging into him.
Chapter Text
Reaching his hands towards Mami results in a positive reaction.
Mami always picks him up or uses it as a prompt to give him something. What he gives him depends on what they’re doing. He never knows what to do with what Mami gives him, so he just holds whatever it is until it slips from his grip or Mami takes it away.
He’s not sure what started it, but seeing how pleased Mami gets lets him know he’s doing good.
He thinks he’s been doing a lot of good, lately, though all he can think of is the reaching.
Maybe it’s because he has more opportunities to do good since Mami has been spending more and more time with him.
He’s different from Maker in that way.
Mami doesn’t hide him in a bag or put him in a playpen. He carries him in his arms. He never lingers in one spot outside of their home though, usually they’re headed to different places so Vax cannot get a good look around.
This time, they’re in a more familiar place. Near Maker’s office in front of a wall of blue. There’s a hum coming from it.
This is the first time Vax has been given the chance to look at it. Mami has sat down with him on his lap to stare at the wall of blue.
A dark, sharp figure darts past, surprising him.
“That’s one of Vox’s sharks,” Mami says. “Sydney, I think.”
The figure loops back around, this time slowly passing them.
Alive. An animal.
Sydney.
He reaches towards Sydney.
Mami laughs and nuzzles him. “No, I can’t give you a shark, baby. How about you tell her hello instead?”
He can’t do that.
He can’t talk.
-love Mami
Mami takes his hand to stretch his arm out and gently guides his fingers up and down. He uses one of his other hands to do the same in the direction of the shark.
“Hi, Sydney,” Mami coos.
He lets go of Vax’s hand.
“Tell her hi,” Mami says.
Vax lifts his arm up and waves his fingers up and down.
Mami chitters.
There are other sharks. Vax tells them hi as well. Mami laughs.
“Smart boy,” he says, kissing his antennae toppers. “Maybe Vox will let you feed them.”
“No way. He’d end up as shark food himself,” Maker says, emerging from his office. He has a wide grin. “Ha! I didn’t expect to find you two down here. You visiting me or is this a field trip?”
“Look, Vax, it’s your papa. Say hi to papa,” Mami coos.
He reaches towards Maker and waves his fingers.
Maker’s smile falls.
He bends over to pick Vax up and Mami lets out an odd sound.
“No. No, stop it.”
Maker pauses. “Excuse me?”
Mami hasn’t moved from his spot. He’s staring at Maker. His fists are trembling on the floor.
Maker picks Vax up and Mami bares his teeth at him, but still does not get up.
“Put him down.”
“Just a second,” Maker says calmly.
Maker’s wire plugs into Vax.
“Stop it. Stop it,” Mami says. “Stop doing that to him!”
Maker grimaces. He unplugs the wire and puts Vax back down.
Vax doesn’t understand what happened, but he does recognize the look on Mami’s face when Maker cups his cheek.
Chapter Text
Vax’s crib, which Mami and Maker have both confirmed belongs to him, is in a room called a nursery.
It is his room.
Like Mami’s room belongs to Mami. And Maker’s office belongs to Maker.
Because Vax only has one objective—
-love Mami
He has rarely taken in his surroundings if it was beyond a set radius around him. He has no reason to.
But now that he has discovered that ‘reaching’ prompts an action from Mami, he finds himself observing. He tries to find things to reach for, things that will… that will make Mami laugh or smile.
He reaches for oddly shaped pillows on shelves.
“Plushies,” Mami calls them. Some of them have names. People names. Vax commits them all to his memory bank.
Mami will give them to him. Sometimes Mami holds them and moves (“bounces,” Mami says) them around him. Vax doesn’t know what to do when that happens until he finds that yet again, reaching for things is the answer. Sometimes Mami doesn’t give it to him when he does, and he discovers that’s the point. He’ll hold it just out of reach and Vax will flop over trying to get it.
Mami flips him over and moves his fingers (“tickles”) over his front (“belly”) and then does it again until Vax stops only falling over.
He learns how to crawl.
Mami softly praises him when he crawls. He gets very happy when he crawls.
Vax tries to do it more often to please him, but Mami will spread his wings out and then pick him up, forcing him to stop. He doesn’t understand why. Still, he must be doing something right since Mami hugs and kisses him after.
Mami also covers his hands with his own if he tries to reach for things when Maker is around.
“Not now, baby,” Mami whispers sometimes, when Maker isn’t too close. He doesn’t scream or try to break him for doing something wrong, but Vax gets the sense of it being important to do what Mami says anyway.
Today, they’re in the larger living space. Mami is on the couch with him, curled up around him and on his phone. The TV is on, but Mami pays it no mind.
Vax counts the minutes of inactivity and when he reaches twenty, he decides to prompt Mami and reaches for him.
Mami notices and smiles and scoots him up to show him what he’s watching on his phone.
“It’s nothing interesting,” Mami says.
Vax is aware that things happen outside of his limited space. None of it involves him or Mami or Maker, so he usually doesn’t bother to save the information into his files. He finds himself doing the same here as Mami points out a few people and gives comments.
Instead, he touches Mami’s hand. He’s just barely able to reach.
Mami stops speaking and then after a moment, moves his hand closer so Vax can run his fingers over it.
Mami’s hands are thin. So thin he can see the bone protruding.
He’s squeezed Maker’s fingers before and he’s thin too – but Mami is very thin.
He squeezes Mami’s finger.
Mami twists his hand so he can hold Vax’s. Then he observes one of his other hands quietly as though seeing it for the first time.
Vax still has his other hands free, so he busies himself by pushing one onto Mami’s phone and tracing over the images of people. Mami lets him do it for a while and then taps at the phone himself. When he shows it to Vax again, there’s colorful bubbles floating around on the screen. He taps one and it pops with an interesting sound. He does it again. And again.
Mami’s hand strokes the top of his head and he turns to look at the TV.
Mami goes still.
Vax looks up.
A woman with yellow hair and red cheeks is on the screen. She’s speaking in front of a crowd and the picture switches to another woman behind a desk. An image of the yellow-haired woman appears to the side of her as she speaks, neck cracking as she twists it in different angles. The image changes to Vax. He’s never seen himself on a screen before. He—
Mami drops his phone and Vax watches it bounce off the couch and onto the floor. Mami’s other hand squeezes him tightly. Too tightly, he realizes.
Before he can consider what this means, Mami releases him and stands up in front of the TV.
The image changes back to the yellow-haired woman and she’s gesturing to someone behind her.
Mami’s hands grip the top of the TV and he hunches over it, shaking.
A glowing woman with long silver hair appears. The two women hold hands and gaze at each other. They let go of each other and the glowing woman starts speaking. She gestures wide at the crowd and then puts a hand over her chest. The crowd starts getting loud and angry.
The lights flicker.
The glowing woman spreads multiple feathered wings and flies up, her voice getting louder to speak over the crowd.
Mami brings all four fists up and slams them down onto the TV, shattering it into pieces just as the power goes out.