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Chapter Text

Nathaniel had a brother. Although his mother had warned him many times to never call Kevin his brother in front of Nathan. Kevin was not his son after all, he was only Mary’s child. Nathaniel never learnt who his father was.

Kevin did not live with them. He had only been one when Mary had married Nathan, but Nathan had not wanted to raise someone else’s child, so Kevin had been given to Tetsuji. Nathaniel did not want to admit it but he was jealous of his brother. He got to play Exy alongside Riko, the future best player in the world, and he got to be away from Nathan and his anger.

They did get to see each other on court, though. Nathaniel was still too little to play with the others but when Nathan wanted them out of the house his mother would take him to the court to watch Kevin play. Nathaniel realized later that she must have missed her son terribly.

He was just content to be able to see his brother. They even got to talk occasionally, during the short break Tetsuji allowed his players or when Nathaniel would volunteer to help clean the court after practise. Kevin would call him “Nate” because it was shorter and Nathaniel would call him “Kevi” just to give him a nickname too.

He got to see Riko as well. Although the boy would usually wince at his sight and avoid Nathaniel at all cost. It was hard not to admire him, his play was practically flawless, but he made it difficult to like him as a person.

‘I think Riko doesn’t like me’ Nathaniel whispered to Kevin after his practise.

He nodded, staring at the ground. ‘Tetsuji wants us to be like brothers to each other. Riko wants that too. But I already have a brother and I don’t want another. He knows it, that’s why he doesn’t like you.’

Nathaniel titled his head. ‘But I will join you when I grow. Then he won’t be able to deny that you like me more than him.’

Kevin smiled slightly. He seemed to be scared of making Riko angry. Nathaniel was not sure why.

His mother called him from the tribunes. He hugged Kevin quickly before joining her. He noticed how his brother looked around anxiously as he returned the hug.

Nathaniel was six when he was finally let on the court. He had already managed to fall in love with Exy, so now he vibrated with excitement at the possibility of playing not only at a real court with other players, but also alongside his brother.

His mother made it clear that practising with Tetsuji did not mean he would be immediately joining the team. He would have an official test once he was older, in a year or two, and then it would be decided if he was going to become an actual member of the team. For some reason Mary seemed anxious about the idea.

Nathaniel did not think much about it. He was just happy to be able to attend practise, and so was Kevin.

Riko clearly was not. He kept pulling Kevin away from Nathaniel, getting angry whenever they tried to talk to each other. He often talk to Kevin in Japanese, refusing to teach Nathaniel as much as a single word.

Once he and Riko got into a fight over it. Nathaniel was younger but he was just as strong as Riko, and who knows how it would have ended had Tetsuji not put an end to it.

Although Kevin kept quiet about it, he clearly hated when these two argued so openly. It was much later when Nathaniel realized that he did not hate it because he wanted them to get along: he was simply scared for his brother’s safety if he made the Moriyamas angry.

It all ended before it could properly start.

When Nathaniel was eight the day of his test finally came. Despite his dislike of the captain, he wanted nothing else but to officially join the team. The only thing he did not understand was why his mother seemed so worried, why she was so much paler than usual as she watched him play and why she was so quiet whenever he spoke of the team.

Then Kevin and Riko saw something they were not supposed to see. Nathaniel was silent and tried to keep his breath steady as they stared at the cut off limbs, left lifeless in a pool of dark blood, and the still breathing, still screaming man with Nathaniel’s father in the middle, unmoved by the massacre except for a small smirk playing on his face.

It was not the first time Nathaniel had seen kill. His mother had told him to stay quiet and wait until it was over, so that was what he was now trying to do.

The moment he sent a glance towards Kevin and Riko it occurred to him that maybe it was not a regular thing to see. Maybe it was not something everyone’s father did and maybe he should not be trying to get used to it so desperately.

Kevin screamed and Riko looked as if he was going to throw up.

Nathan only looked at them once, with nothing but contempt in his eyes. Kevin stared at him, unable to pull his eyes away. Finally Nathaniel squeezed his hand, urging him to leave. His father would not have liked it if they looked at him for too long.

Kevin finally turned and ran, still holding his brother’s hand. Riko followed behind them, still horrified with what he had seen. He might have been an annoying and jealous brat but he was still a ten years old child and witnessing a gory murder was too much for him.

Finally they stopped, breathing heavily and leaning against a wall. Riko sat on the ground, staring at the floor silently. Kevin’s knees broke under him and he sobbed as he fell to the ground.

‘What.. What was that, Nathaniel?’ Riko whispered, turning to look at him. He was practically begging with his eyes to tell him that he had understood something wrong, that what they had seen was not real after all. To give him any kind of reassurance. He looked so desperate Nathaniel had to remind himself that he did not like him.

He only shrugged. He did not know what answer to give them. ‘He needed to get rid of someone.’ he finally said quietly.

‘He.. He just killed someone!’ Kevin cried. ‘It has- we need- we have to report it, or- or tell someone-’ he stuttered, wiping his tears away.

‘No.’ Nathaniel said abruptly. ‘Mum said we can’t. It’s just gonna make things worse.’

‘This isn’t normal’ Riko said, his voice still shaking. ‘You can’t just ignore that your father kills people.’

Nathaniel looked down. There were not really any other options.

‘Does he hurt you too?’ Kevin whispered.

‘Sometimes.’ he simply replied.

‘But you-’

‘Nathaniel.’ his mother’s voice interrupted. She stood at the other side of the hall, her jaw clenched, her fist shaking by her side. ‘Follow me.’ she said.

Nathaniel looked at his brother again. He did not want to leave him, but he could not disobey his mother’s orders. Eventually he kneeled in front of Kevin, who still sat on the floor, and hugged him quickly before leaving.

‘I’ll be right back, Kevi’ he said and went to follow his mother. Kevin did not even have the strength to reply.

Nathaniel did not know then that he was not going to be right back. In fact, he was not going to see his brother for another ten years.

He begged his mother to let him talk to Kevin before they run. To at least let him say goodbye. Make the last promises too see each other again. She did not let him. He cried and he screamed but she only slapped him to make him stop. And so they left without as much as a single “goodbye”.

He knew Nathan was going to be furious once he found out. And he knew he would have to take it out on someone. He could only pray that Tetsuji had the power to keep his brother safe.

The first time Nathaniel saw Kevin in TV he almost started crying. His brother was smiling to the audience and talking to the reporter in a convincing voice, standing right next to Riko, the black tattoos visible on their faces. Kevin seemed happy, but Nathaniel could not help but feel that he should have been standing by their side right now.

His mother made it clear that he was never allowed to play Exy again, but that did not stop him from researching every single fact about the sport and its two star players he could find. The only reason Mary let him do that was that a binder with pictures and articles of Exy players was a perfect place to hide money and contact information.

He found out about Kevin’s injury the moment the news had been made public. He felt his heart stopping when the reporter predicted that he would return to the court again. Exy was Kevin’s life. Taking him away from it would be equal to a death sentence.

Then Kevin joined the team from Palmetto. He was supposed to be the coach’s assistant. Nathaniel was probably even more confused than all the fans who followed Kevin’s life. Maybe his brother simply wanted to stay as close to Exy as possible. Maybe he wanted to challenge himself by trying to fix the most broken team in the country.

Until he started playing again. When Kevin returned to the court with the racquet in his right hand, Nathaniel was beyond proud. Of course his brother was not going stop, even if the Ravens had given up on him. Even if it was the worst team in the world, maybe the only one that would accept him after the injury, at least he was playing once again.

Nathaniel never thought he would ever return to Exy, let alone see his brother again. He could keep it all close in his precious binder, but that was as close as he would ever get to them.

Until Mary had died. After they had run away from Nathan and left Kevin behind, she was the only family he had had left. Now she was not.

She would have beat him up had she found out he signed up for an Exy team in his new high school. But the truth was, he missed playing so much. It was the last thing that linked him to the days he and Kevin had spent together on the court and Nathaniel, now Neil, did not want to lose those memories. He tried to convince himself that no harm would come from these few months in the school Exy team.

Until that memorable day in which Andrew Minyard hit him in the stomach with a racquet. In which he saw Kevin again.

His brother looked at him from the other side of the room. Neil felt himself going pale and froze, reminding himself to breathe.

Kevin stared at him, as though judging his abilities by his appearance. He did not recognize him. Of course he didn’t. It had been ten years after all, Neil’s hair was dyed dark brown and he had contacts in his eyes.

And Kevin still looked exactly the same. His dark hair and green eyes had not changed, the number on his cheek was still the same, although it had been made permanent.

‘What are you doing here?’ Neil choked out before he could stop himself.

Kevin looked at him, unimpressed. ‘Why were you leaving?’ he asked.

‘I asked you first.’ he shot back.

‘Coach already answered that question. We are waiting for you to sign the contract. Stop wasting our time.’ Kevin replied. Even though his brother looked the same, he was much more arrogant than when they were little kids. It honestly annoyed him. He would not act like that towards him if he knew who he was.

Well, at least Neil was now sure that Kevin did not recognize him. He should be safe, for now. He still felt his heart beating wildly. He wanted to cry and scream as he stared at his brother, but he had to stay silent. He could never let him know.

He honestly did not know what finally pushed him to sign the contract. It was the worst possible decision someone in his situation could make. He knew he was going to be in the public eye. Even if Kevin did not recognize him, Riko or Tetsuji still could. Even if he ran after a few months, he was still taking a huge risk by joining the Foxes.

But it was not just about playing Exy. Kevin was there. For these few months he could keep his brother close. He could get to know the person he became. This was the only chance he would ever get of being around Kevin again, however dangerous.

Kevin watched him as he signed the contract. His eyes were colder now, or maybe they always were, just not towards Nathaniel. But now he was Neil and he could not let anyone find out that a boy named Nathaniel had ever existed.

Only when his brother hid the contract, turned away and left without as much as a single “goodbye”, did Neil let himself fall to the ground.

He took a breath, trying to steady his heartbeat.

Chapter Text

Neil’s first months with the Foxes had been.. interesting.

So far he had only gotten to meet the so called “Monsters”. Aaron was tolerable, at least a first, as he was the only person who was actually acting like a person. His rudeness and ignorance quickly became annoying, though.

Nicky appeared nice at first, but once he started flirting with Neil he instantly had enough of him. Even if these were only stupid jokes, Neil hated people who could not take a simple “no” as an answer.

Andrew was the biggest mystery of them all. He was a stellar goalkeeper, but he claimed that he hated the sport. Hating Exy already made very little sense to Neil, but adding to that, Andrew regularly took meds that made him act psychopathic, carried knives around everywhere and had been pretty close to stabbing a teammate multiple times. But perhaps the thing about him that Neil understood the least was how close he and Kevin were.

Kevin. His brother had changed. He was quiet, constantly staring at something absent mindedly, not participating in any conversation that was not about Exy. And when it was, it only made everything worse.

Neil hated the way Kevin acted on court. He hated how he looked down on him, how he looked at his every mistake with disgust or disappointment.

When they were kids Kevin would, of course, point out Neil’s mistakes and show him how to fix them. But it was never the way he did it now. Then, he had been patient, he had never showed anger at Neil’s incompetence, and once he had managed to fix what he had done wrong, Kevin had been beyond happy, proud even of his little brother’s improvement.

Now there was none of it. The current Kevin never showed any approval of anyone’s game, he only criticised and pointed out every single mistake he could find. And Neil hated it.

Of course, he could not expect Kevin to act the way he did these ten years ago. Then he had been playing with his brother. Now he was playing with a stranger. But it still hurt. Neil knew it was impossible, Kevin could never learn who he really was, but he did not want to be a stranger to him anymore. He wanted to keep being his brother. The most dear person to him. Oh, how he missed the days they had spent on court together back then.

Then, he saw him playing. Kevin practised at night, when the court was empty except for Andrew sitting on the tribunes, quietly watching the training.

Kevin’s skills were nowhere near to what he could do when he was ten. And even then his way of playing had been incredible. Now, even with his right hand, his moves were faster and more precise than any of the Foxes could ever dream to learn. Neil stared with amazement as his brother repeated the same move hundreds of times, mastering the perfect strike for hours. What he demanded from the other players was nothing compared to what he was demanding from himself.

Only for that reason Neil decided to swallow his pride and let his brother unknowingly humiliate him, for the sake of becoming at least half as good as Kevin was.

It was only a few days before Neil was to meet the remaining teammates when he learned that which changed everything.

He heard Wymack’s voice from behind a slightly open door. Having just returned from morning practise he was not expecting that the coach would still be at his apartment, yet there he was, clearly arguing with someone.

‘Damn it, Kevin, I said sit down!’ he heard his raised voice.

‘I won’t!’ Kevin replied. Neil felt an alarm going off in his head. His brother did not sound like himself. There was fear, even panic in his voice, something he had so rarely heard, both now and all these years ago. ‘How could you let him do this?’ he kept yelling.

‘I don’t have any say in this and you know it. Hey!’ something must have hit the wall, something else fell on the floor and broke. ‘Look at me.’ Wymack continued. ‘Look at me, god damn you, and breathe.’

‘I warned Andrew he was going to come for me. I told him!’

‘It doesn’t matter. You signed a contract with me.’

‘He could pay off my scholarship in a heartbeat. You know he would. He’d pay you off and take me home and I- I can’t go back there.’ Kevin’s voice was shaking. He must have been sobbing. Neil felt his heart speeding up. He was not supposed to listen to this conversation, he knew that, but if his brother was in danger, he needed to find out what was going on. ‘I can’t, I can’t, I won’t, I- I have to go. I should go now, before he has to come for me. Maybe he’ll forgive me if I go back. If I make him haunt me down any more than I have already he’ll kill me for sure.’

Neil froze. Someone wanted to kill Kevin. The first person who came to his mind was the Butcher. He felt panic rising in him and as his breaths became a bit too quick he reminded himself that his father took no interest in his half-brother. Kevin was not related to Nathan, he had nothing to do with him. There was no way he could be in danger from the Butcher’s hand. But then, from whose?

‘Shut up’ Wymack said. ‘You’re not going anywhere.’

‘I can’t tell Riko no!’ Kevin screamed.

What? Neil would have expected anything but this. Why would Kevin be so terrified of Riko? That made absolutely no sense, but what Neil knew was that something was very, very wrong. Something he was not aware of must have happened during these ten years. Neil took a steadying breath to calm himself down.

Wymack talked to his player for a few more minutes. Finally, Kevin must have been sane enough to be left alone in the room, and after giving him his phone so that he could call Jean, the coach returned to the hallway.

He looked tired. His hair was messy and he had deep shadows under his eyes. Neil had never seen him this exhausted. Or this worried.

Seeing that Neil had already heard enough, the coach decided to explain the rest to him. ‘Edgar Allan put in a transfer request with the ERC and it was approved this morning.’ he said. ‘They’re part of the southeastern district, effective June 1st.’

Neil felt his heart stopping. That meant he was going to see Riko. And play against him. Kevin had not recognized him, but that did not mean Riko’s memory would not be better. This risk was too great. He would have to disappear before the match against Ravens. He could not let Riko see him, under any circumstances.

Still, what did the transfer have to do with Kevin? Even if he and Riko had not been on the best terms when they had been separated, there was no reason for Kevin to be this terrified of seeing him again.

But then Wymack asked: ‘Do you know why Kevin came to Palmetto state?’

From there it spiralled. With each explanation the coach gave him Neil was starting to understand more, and each sentence felt like a stab to his stomach.

‘As soon as Coach Moriyama dismissed them for the night Riko broke Kevin’s hand.’ Wymack said.

Neil felt sick. Riko had always been a brat, possessive and jealous even as at the age he then was. But he still could not help but remember him as the little kid who had just seen someone being murdered and had desperately been trying not to cry. He could not believe that this kid was, in fact, had been the one who broke his brother’s hand, and that Kevin was so terrified of him that he had a panic attack just at the thought of seeing him again.

Just what else had happened there in these years when Neil was not with him?

It was not until Wymack told him the truth about the Moriyamas when Neil truly understood. He understood everything he had left his brother to endure, the exact mess he had left him in.

‘Tetsuji took Kevin in and took over his training, but he also gave Kevin to Riko – literally.’ Wymack continued with a grim expression. ‘Kevin isn’t human to them. He’s a project. He’s a pet, and it’s Riko’s name on his leash. The fact he ran away is a miracle. If Tetsuji called tomorrow and told him to come home, Kevin would. He knows what Tetsuji would do to him if he refused. He’d be too afraid to say no.’

Neil was silent. He bit his lip to keep himself from screaming. The moment their conversation ended and Wymack returned to Kevin, Neil locked himself in the bathroom and threw up.

Kevin had spent his whole life in Evermore. Apparently, raised by a mafia family. And Neil had spent years convinced that at least his brother would avoid it. Every single time he could not fall asleep, scared that someone would break in and kill him, every time he had panicked because a stranger looked at him suspiciously, every time he had had to recover a shot wound, every time he had cursed his life for being tangled with a criminal family, he had reminded himself that at least Kevin was safe, that he was getting a good life away from all of this.

How wrong had he been. His brother had not been safe for even one second. He was brainwashed, terrified of saying “no”, ready to follow every order Tetsuji or Riko gave. It was sickening.

Neil leaned his forehead against the bathroom wall and covered his mouth with his hand to stop himself from making any sound. He had to act like he was fine. The news about Moriyama family would have shocked anyone, but he could not let anyone see that he wanted to rip his throat out because of everything Kevin had gone through. Especially not Kevin.

The day the rest of his teammates arrived the coach broke the news to the other Foxes. Everyone immediately understood the gravity of the situation, sending worried glances towards Kevin. Neil kept staring at the ground, desperate not to show any reaction.

Wymack invited the Foxes for dinner that evening. Although the team was clearly divided between the Monsters and the remaining players, everyone eventually agreed to meet this once before the season officially started.

Kevin was the first one to start drinking. It must have been a regular thing because no one protested, the coach wordlessly handing him a bottle of vodka. Neil refused everything he was offered. He was too afraid of revealing his secrets to let alcohol mess with his mind.

It was unavoidable that the conversation would eventually turn to the Ravens, especially with half the players drunk to some extend.

‘When did Riko start.. acting like a bitch?’ Nicky asked, pouring himself another glass of alcohol.

‘Uh, like.. always’ Kevin muttered. Neil was not sure to what extend he was controlling his answers. He did not seem very aware of everything around him anymore.

‘Dude, must have been tough’ Nicky replied. ‘Since he was like a brother to you.. Imagine having a bitchy brother that kills people and stuff.’

‘I can relate’ Aaron said, lifting his glass. Andrew threw something at him and Nicky sighed. Neil thought he preferred not to know what they were referring to.

‘He wasn’t.’ Kevin muttered.

‘What?’ Nicky asked in confusion.

‘Like a brother. Moriyamas took him away.’ he said, furrowing his brows. Neil started at him, acknowledging the visible anger in his voice.

Kevin had not been angry, not when he spoke of Riko, not when he talked about Tetsuji. Not when he remembered anything that had been done to him, and maybe that was what terrified Neil the most. Kevin refused to be angry. He was only scared.

But now, as he recalled some old memories, the long forgotten anger finally returning to his voice.

‘Did you know I had a brother?’ he whispered to everyone and no one, closing his eyes. Neil thought his heart had stopped.

‘Wait’ Matt turned to look at Kevin carefully. ‘Really?’

The Foxes all stared at him now. The room went silent, even the coach put his glass down, waiting uncertainly for Kevin’s reply.

‘Mhm’ he answered quietly. ‘His name was Nathaniel.’

Neil froze. He could not breathe.

It had been so long since he had heard someone speaking this name. Nathaniel was supposed to be forgotten. He had stayed with Kevin in Evermore these ten years ago and still lied buried there. Yet all it took was one word to bring him back from the dead.

‘He was the Butcher’s son.’ Kevin continued drunkenly. ‘The- the murderer. You know, the one with the-’ Kevin waved his hand, implying using a cleaver butchering knife.

‘What- his father was The Butcher?’ Aaron raised his head, staring at Kevin with widened eyes. ‘The Baltimore murderer? Are you serious?’

‘Yeah.’ he said. ‘The Butcher works for the Moriyamas.’

Neil dropped his empty glass. It did not break, but a few people looked at him. He quickly picked it up, trying to steady his hammering heart.

His father worked for the Moriyamas? That would explain why he had been at the court that day. Why he had met with Tetsuji so often. But if what Kevin was saying was true, then.. Then if Riko recognized him, he would be done for. If the Moriyamas found him, they would return him to his father immediately.

What the fuck was he even doing here? He had to run away as soon as he could.

But running would mean leaving Kevin behind. Again. With the Ravens’ transfer, with an even bigger mess than the last time.

If he left him now, he would never see him again. Maybe Riko would kill his brother in a few months, and he would not be there to stop him.

Last time running away was not his choice. Now it would be. He would not have anyone else to blame if he left his brother alone again.

Dan’s voice interrupted his train of thoughts. ‘But wait, if you’re brothers and his father was the Butcher, then..’

‘No’ Kevin said. ‘We had the same father, but Nathan was not my father. I didn’t even live with them.’

‘What happened to Nathaniel?’ Nicky asked quietly.

Kevin let out something between a sob and a laugh. ‘He was supposed to be the number three. He was two years younger than us but already just as good. And they- he was supposed to have a test, but if he failed they would have killed him. So our mother took him and ran away. With a shit load of money. The Moriyamas are still looking for them. The Butcher would rip them apart if he found them.’

Everyone was silent. Neil tried to comprehend what he had just heard.

He had been supposed to be the number three. Either that, or they would have killed him. That was why his mother had taken him that day. She had been scared for his life.

‘Fuck, Kevin..’ Dan muttered. ‘This is.. wow.’

Kevin gave no answer. After a few seconds of silence Renee finally asked: ‘what do you think, what happened to them?’

‘They’re probably dead.’ Kevin replied simply. ‘Or somewhere on the other side of the world, if they’re lucky.’

Neil fought to keep his eyes on the ground.

He desperately wanted to stand up and scream the truth at Kevin, to make him understand that the person he remembered as Nathaniel was standing right in front of him.

He wanted to tell him that he was so fucking sorry for leaving him in that hell, even if it was not his decision, that none of it should ever have happened, and if he knew what his life was going to be like there he would have come back and punched Riko in the face personally.

He wanted yell at him for ignoring him off court and for being a brat during practise, to make him acknowledge the fact he was here and he was not just a stranger to him.

He wanted to tell him that if the Moriyamas recognized him he was already as good as dead and he really should take all he had and run until he still could, but he wanted so fucking bad to stay because he had finally found his brother and he never wanted to leave him again and he had no idea what to do because he wanted to live but he wanted to live with Kevin, not without him.

But Kevin did not know. And he could not find out. So Neil said none of it and keep staring at the single drop of water that spilled from his empty glass and still remained on the floor.