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When Duo sauntered into the parlor on a hot summer day, swinging his hips in that way that caused his braid to follow like a cat waving its tail, Heero knew to be wary.
It wasn’t a lack of trust, but an excess of knowledge about his partner that put him on edge as Duo leaned over the back of Relena’s armchair, a smirk pulling his lips into a devilish expression that could entice Satan himself. Relena, startled by Duo’s silent approach, jumped a little in her seat, her shocked expression melting to one of relief when she saw who it was.
“You know you can’t sneak up on me like that,” she chided as Duo’s smirk widened to an impish grin.
“I think I just proved I can,” he said. “What’re you all up to right now?”
“You see it,” she shrugged, glancing over at Heero as he lounged on the settee. “What’re you up to?” If there was any suspicion in that question, she hid it well.
“Oh, nothin’,” he sighed in a show of fake boredom that was fooling exactly nobody. “Just thinking of doing something fun, that’s all.”
They were both instantly on alert. Apprehensive and eager in equal measure. “Doing something fun” was Duo-speak for any number of things, and they could be fun for just him or for everyone depending on which way his brain was leaning that day.
“What’s on your mind?” Relena asked, sounding none too bothered by the promise of mischief. Ever the diplomat.
“I just found a little something that’ll help us all out with this heat.” Heero couldn’t tell what that was in his tone – was it a salacious lilt, or a promise of shenanigans? “It just got here, so I’m unpacking it and setting it up.”
“Unpacking what?” Relena and Heero both asked – Relena with practiced nonchalance, Heero with thinly veiled dread. For Relena’s birthday this year, Duo had ordered an inflatable bounce house, which would have been fine and dandy if he hadn’t set it up in her bedroom. That time had ended up just fine in the end, but not without exasperation on all sides and a lot of booze to take off the edge.
Duo’s expression shifted again, and Heero knew then that his ambiguous answers were deliberate. He loved toying with them like this. “That’s for me to know and you two to find out,” he said. “I’ll be in the shed putting it together, so no peeking!” Lifting off of the back of Relena’s chair, he all but strutted out of the room, radiating an arrogance so strong that Heero could feel the echo of it long after he was gone.
They turned to each other, Relena looking amused, Heero severe. “I wonder what he’s up to,” she said.
“Something to help us with the heat, that he has to assemble in the shed.” He couldn’t even imagine what it might be. Knowing Duo, it could be almost anything. Since he and Heero had started following Relena around as her perpetual bodyguards, expenses like rent and food were a thing of the past. His salary, though he was reluctant at first to take it, was mostly hoarded in a bank account “just in case.” If he took a notion to buy a snow machine or a something equally absurd, he probably had the means to do it.
“Maybe it’s a water slide,” Relena said. That seemed likely. Her property in New Zealand was equipped with a sizeable pool, and Duo had often commented that she should turn it into a miniature water park.
“It could be that snow cone maker he was talking about,” Heero said. “That wouldn’t be so bad.” It was probably the least troublesome possibility.
“Oh, do you think he’s turning the shed into our own personal ice cream shop?” She looked far too delighted by that notion. Heero could just see Duo now, renovating the utility shed into an ice cream parlor, complete with a striped uniform and paper hat for himself.
“It’s the kind of thing he’d do,” he said with trepidation.
“Why do you look so nervous about it? I’d like to have an ice cream shop in the back yard.”
“Then build one there, and don’t let him run it. There’s no telling what kind of spin he’d put on it.” Probably asking them to pay for the ice cream with a strip tease.
“I wonder…” She had affected a thoughtful look that piqued Heero’s curiosity.
“Have you figured it out?”
“Well, it’s just that something he said the other day stuck in my mind… He mentioned that he wanted to get ‘wet and wild’ outside.”
“Wet and wild? So something for the pool?” Did he actually buy a slide? A wave machine?
“I was thinking more along the lines of… You know.” She gave him a sly look. When his only response was to blink at her uncomprehendingly, she sighed and fixed him with that inscrutable stare. “Sex, Heero. I think he might be planning something sexual!”
“Like the bounce house?”
“Mmhm, exactly like the bounce house.” She leaned back in her seat, looking satisfied. “I’d bet you anything that he’s assembling a screen to go around the pool so we can have sex in it without being seen.”
Heero frowned. “What makes you think that?”
“Do you remember when we went swimming last week and he tried to, in his words, play in the deep end?”
“Yeah.”
“I told him someone could see. The gardener, or Pagan...”
“Right.”
“Either he’s found a way to block the view from the pool, or he’s putting a pool in the shed itself.”
Heero wasn’t convinced. “I doubt it. We’d notice if he was digging up the concrete for a pool. And why would he have to assemble a fence inside the shed?”
“Alright, maybe he’s not doing those things exactly,” Relena huffed. “But he’s planning something sexy. I’m sure of it.”
“Hn.” He wasn’t convinced. His dismissal was a challenge to Relena, who raised an eyebrow in acceptance of it. Standing up, smoothing down her white sundress, she went to the wall by one of the wide arched windows and pressed a button on the intercom.
The New Zealand house was a relatively small estate, but it had been equipped with a state-of-the-art intercom system for security purposes. They could see the shed in which Duo was working, more of a small pool house, with a proper foundation and central heating and air. It would be nothing for either of them to walk over there, but it was so hot outside that neither of them wanted to.
“Duo,” Relena said into the intercom. “Are you there?”
She released the button, and a moment later, it buzzed, followed by Duo’s voice. “What’s up, Princess?”
“Heero and I were just wondering what you’re doing,” she said. “You didn’t tell us what it is you’re building in there.”
There was a brief pause, and when he came back on, Duo sounded unconvincingly innocent. “It’s not that I’m really building it, exactly. It just takes a bit of assembly. Mostly I’m reading the directions.”
“Oh? And what is it that you’re reading the directions to?”
There was a soft chuckling on the other end of the line. “I said it’d be a surprise. I know you’re eager to find out, but you can hold it in a bit longer.”
“Is it something we’ll be using in the shed?” Relena was not one to be deterred.
“Nah, we’ll need a lot more room than this. I’m putting it out on the lawn when it’s ready.”
“On the lawn?”
“Yeah, and I don’t wanna hear any arguments! I don’t care who sees us using it. This thing is gonna get all kinds of use, from all of us!” There was no mistaking the suggestive tone, but Heero wasn’t buying it. With Duo, that tone could be a fake-out as well as an actual hint at his mindset.
“So, it’s something we can all three use together.”
“Oh, yeah. All at once, or maybe just while one of us watches the other two. It’s a ‘play your way’ kind’a thing.”
“Sounds exciting,” Relena said. “I can come over and help you put it together, if you’d like.”
“Nah, I’ve got it. I told ya, it’s a surprise!”
“Wait!” Relena leaned closer to the intercom as if she could grab Duo through it and shake him. The only person slippery enough and ballsy enough to withstand her grilling was Duo. “At least give us a hint. Heero and I have a little wager going on.”
“A wager, huh?”
“Yes, I think you’re planning something naughty,” Relena said. “Sexually, I mean. Heero doesn’t.”
He laughed. “Something naughty, eh? What do you think I’ve got in here?”
“I imagined it was something to block the pool,” she said almost hopefully. “So we could use it however we like without being seen…?”
“Oh, we’ll be real visible with this. I don’t think you’ll be too worried about privacy when we’re all slicked up and ready to ride!”
The smirk Relena threw Heero was almost deafening. “Really, now?”
Heero had to admit that it was looking bad for his theory. The three of them had started their little arrangement just under a year ago, and Relena had learned a lot about Duo since then. But Heero had known him longer. He had been observing Duo since they were teenagers, and he knew that this was probably a triple bluff: say something that wasn’t overtly sexual but that could be taken that way to lead people into drawing the wrong conclusion. He met Relena’s smirk with one of his own.
“Are you saying we’ll need to wear our swimsuits?” she asked.
“That or nothing. Your choice.” Duo’s voice had taken on that seductive purr, and now Heero knew for sure that he was leading her on. “Why don’t you two get ready? I’ll have it out in a minute. Make sure you’re ready to take a pounding, OK?”
She pulled back from the intercom with the same look she had on after decimating an opponent on the debate floor. “Well, I think that settles that,” she said.
“You think so?” Heero kept his expression carefully neutral.
“Yes, I do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to change.” She flipped her hair as she turned to leave, and Heero stood to follow. He had no idea what they would find when they came back downstairs, but he had a feeling it was going to disappoint her immensely.
Twenty minutes later, they both emerged from their rooms, both dressed for swimming – though Heero noted that she had opted for the skimpier of her swimsuits, the yellow bikini. She also had her tan canvas beach bag slung over her shoulder.
“What’s in there?” Heero asked. It looked rather heavier than usual.
“Sunscreen, a towel…” Then, with a devious little smile, “And some things to play with. I packed the harness and lube and some of Duo’s favorite toys.”
“Is that sanitary?” Heero wrinkled his nose. “Sex toys outside?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a prude, Heero.” Hefting the weighty bag, she marched down the stairs, her ponytail swinging like an eager dog’s tail.
They could see the bright colors of whatever Duo had assembled through the bank of glass at the back of the house. When they stepped out on the patio, the contraption came into view along with Duo, who was crouched beside one end of it, fiddling with the hose that stretched out from across the yard. A large quantity of sagging plastic sheeting billowed around a ladder-shaped frame, wobbling here and there, the loud buzz of an air compressor indicating that it was inflating.
“Hey, guys!” he said, looking up from his task. “Just one sec and it’ll be all ready!”
“What is it…?” Relena’s gaze was following the yards of violently blue and yellow plastic draped over the grass in a long line.
“Hold on, and you’ll see!” Duo cackled, disappearing behind the rapidly inflating structure that was now looking more and more like a slide.
They watched – Relena in dismay, Heero with well concealed smugness – as the device took shape. The flat yellow runway was soon encased on either side by inflated blue tubing, from which water began to trickle and then flow. Soon it was spouting jets of water from the holes situated along the entire strip, and the slide portion began to gush water that fell in a river along the length of it.
Satisfied, Duo stepped back and put his hands on his hips. “It’s a slip-n-slide!” he announced with obvious glee.
“What in hell—I mean, what is a slip-n-slide?” That Relena was almost disappointed enough to be mad about it was too funny, and Heero let out a laugh. She glared at him, jabbing him with an elbow right to the ribs.
“It’s like a water slide for the lawn!” Duo said. “I saw ‘em advertised on TV, so I ordered one!”
Relena’s eye twitched. Many a time had she railed against those “as seen on TV” products that sold overpriced and underdeveloped crap to unsuspecting consumers. “D- did you, now…?”
“You look disappointed, Princess!” Duo’s smile was all feigned innocence. “I guess this isn’t what you had in mind, huh?”
“Oh, well, it’s fine.” Any irritation she may have felt at being wrong dissipated as she smiled at him, genuinely amused. “This does look like a lot of fun!”
“I knew you’d love it!” he laughed, stripping off his sleeveless shirt. Heero noted that he was already wearing his black swim trunks. “Come on, let’s go!”
“Sunscreen first!” She opened the bag to rummage for the sunscreen, then went beet red as she pulled out the lube instead.
Coming over to peer into the bag, as well, Duo whistled appreciatively. “You were ready for this, weren’t ya?”
“Let me just bring these back inside,” she said sheepishly.
“No, leave ‘em here! I was hoping you’d bring them.”
Heero and Relena both balked at him. “You were?” they said in unison.
“Yeah, what did you think I was talking about earlier? I told ya I wanted to get slicked up for a ride. Come on!”
Heero was too caught off guard to react as Duo shucked off his shorts and ran for the slide, the tan on the rest of him accentuating his pale cheeks like an obscenely alluring beacon. Relena giggled and dashed after Duo, her bag flopping heavily at her side and one of the toys flopping in her hand.
Sex outdoors was something Heero had never considered before Duo had tried to bring it up in the pool. His head was telling him that it was too risky. They could be caught; they could get sunburned; they could end up with dirt and grass clippings in some very unpleasant places.
But looking at his two lovers, already tussling with each other on top of the slide, Relena’s bikini top edging dangerously close to slipping as she reached over to slap Duo’s ass playfully, Heero knew that he really didn’t have a choice. His emotions were telling him to ignore his thoughts, telling him that he was going to go over there and shove them both down that slide before shoving other things into other places entirely.
Sighing, feeling like they had somehow gotten one over on him, Heero plodded after them, following his emotions – and his dick.