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Chapter Text

The creaking from the palace’s oak flooring echoes through it’s halls as the group makes their way to the Panda's room, navigating only by dim candle light from the palace's surplus

"So...did Po explain why he wanted us to come to his room. In the middle of the night specifically?"

Mantis mumbled. Upset that whatever was 'so important' couldn't wait till morning.

"C'mon it could be serious. He said it was important. If it were something silly he'd wait till morning…Right?"
Viper replied in defense of the panda, making an attempt at giving some form of credibility to their teammates action's.

"Yeah right! Last time something was 'important' Po came to me mortified that there were no bean buns left for dinner" Monkey said with blunt skepticism

"Or the time before that, where he blew off training, again. To watch some performance by a washed up self proclaimed kung fu master" Tigress adds irritably gripping the bridge of her nose, annoyed remembering the aforementioned event.

"Or even further back when-"

before being able to add to the list of instances, a loud metallic clang interrupts them. Echoing down the palace's halls. The deafening silence only adds to the sound's sting. Within the second of hearing it, the five are put on edge. Tigress grasps the wick between her index and middle claws, forcefully extinguishing the candle’s flame. Preemptively preparing for a fight, ditching the disadvantage light would bring.

‘Lay low’ she growled firmly planting all fours on the ground, gearing up to pounce onto what could be nothing other than an intruder

Who could it be? Was now the question at hand. The last adversary to strike at this hour were the Lin Kuei. Could a group of assassins be brazen enough to announce their presence in enemy territory?
Time was already wasted thinking about who, or what could have made the sound. In an instant the five clear the space that separates them from the sounds' origin. Each member takes their respective stances, ready to combat whatever threat loomed over.

A fight was the most logical flow of thought for the five. That was assuming that the sound from earlier was something to fear. The sound made earlier came from the room on the hall's end; Po's room, where his voice could be heard seeping through the door's crevices in the same manner as the sound from earlier had done.

"Ai yah! They're going to be here any minute now! Deep breaths, Deeeeep breaths. I have this under control. I'm the Dragon warrior! I've faced way harder challenges before this and-"

"Po!" Tigress exclaimed, interrupting the panda's pep talk. "Are you okay? "We heard a noise, it sounded like something broke in there."

"Just a second!" He exclaimed. Continuing to mumble behind the door's screen, his barely visible silhouette hecticly darting around. Tossing aside a few items opposite of where he was standing. Upon impact the same metallic clang was emitted. The same sound that caused alarm in the group.

"We're coming in" Tigress said, a hint of concern in her voice as she reached for the wooden door's edge.

Knocking over a few items, the clumsy panda narrowly beats his guest to the door, slowly sliding the screened door open slightly. Only allowing his rotund face to be seen in the dim moonlight.

"So you're probably wondering, why I've brought you five here?

Po asked, grumbling in a lower tone as he swivels his fingers around his face in a jazzy fashion. With that question asked any lingering feeling of worry was promptly extinguished. Utterly disappointed by Po's actions, Tigress sighs. Even now her friend still has an issue with taking anything seriously. Desiring not to humor Po's antics, more than she already had to at least...Tigress coldly states she’s leaving. Making a swift about-face. Fearing the separation of the group the Panda skips his theatrics in an attempt to keep his friends from leaving

"Wait! Okay, I'll get to the point! He cried opening the entrance to his room more

It's a game of Truth or Dare BUT there's a twist-

"Why is there a twist for truth or dare, Po?"

Crane interrupts, utterly confused as to where this was going.

"Shh! I'm explaining that now! The twist is...you guys ready?

Po asks. Excitedly drum rolling on his belly to set the mood.

"I made a point system! He exclaimed, unraveling a scroll. Revealing it's contents. On it were columns separated by six simple drawings of each member's face.

"Each dare completed gets you 1 point. The same goes for answering truth questions, which when asked we ALL have to answer!

Trying to emphasize his point, Po points his index finger at each member of the team

"Depending on how hard a dare is, the points you get increase! Buttttt failing to do either gets you nothing. The Winner; the one with the most points at the end of the night. Gets a full course meal of their choosing. Which will be made by yours truly!"

he states bowing, sporting a smug smile on his face as he does.

"That's if you don't eat it first!"

monkey chimed, snickering at his own joke

"Very funny…" Po scoffs taking a moment to regain his composure.

"Anyway- the winner will also receive… one sec. I know I had it somewhere on me!”

Po mumbled as he frantically taps on his person in search of the lost item. ‘Ah ha!' He exclaimed, pulling out a gold painted ticket. The words 'not it’ are crudely scribbled on it in mandarin. "This ticket allows the user to move the responsibility of a task to another, this is in addition to all of their chores being passed onto the loser for one full month! As for the loser; The one with the least points, has clean the Jade Palace! ALL of the Jade palace! That means everything from here to the peach tree!" Po exclaimed punctuating his statement, triumphantly gesturing to the hill in the distance.

Silence dawns across the five. All debating the implications in their heads. The quiet atmosphere is short lived as it's abrupt end is caused by Tigress adamantly stating her disinterest. "Well...that's stupid. You already skip chores, training , and most responsibilities given to you." Counting on her paw for each example mentioned. Crane relectuantly parrots her sentiment, avoiding looking his friend in the eyes, awkwardly rubbing his neck as does. "I think I'll have to pass on this one too, Po. Seems like a waste of time." The remaining members come to the consensus that it's better to remain out of one of Po's ventures.

"Daww c'mon guys, we never get to do anything together!" He cried.

What can I do to get this to work? He thought. At a moment's notice Po dawned a cheeky grin, knowing exactly how he could coax his friends to indulge in his game.

"Alrighty then, I guess the game would be a waste of time. At least for me. Not like any of you guys could have beat me anyways. After all, I am the Dragon Warrior. Kind of obvious that I'd win by a landslide." He smugly states, ending his statement making a downward incline motion with his paw.

'It's totally working!' He thought. Knowing the seeds of competition have been planted.

Po makes a half-hearted attempt to close his room's door, being stopped by the now heated team. Their disinterest became a competitive fire. Eager to enter with one purpose; Win the game, not for the prize but proving the Panda wrong.

Tigress takes the lead, propping the wooden door open with her claws, sliding the door in opposition to Po's. Entering the room she says nothing, only letting her fiery gaze speak for her as she glances at the Panda. Propping herself down on the room's floor, initiating the would-be circle.

The remaining four continue standing out in the open doorway, in awe by their leader's sudden change of attitude. More specifically the fact she was the first to join something she deemed frivolous mere moments ago.

Monkey excitedly takes his place as the second to enter. 'No hair off my back!' He exclaims gleefully as he hops in knuckles first. Those who remained follow into the room. The last to enter being Crane, ducking his head to avoid hitting the door frame that was lower than his own.

"It’s… surprisingly clean in here" Crane remarks. Sparking the surprise of the others who failed to notice the change in cleanliness, their competitive spirit having completely blinded them.

The normally unkempt room once littered with food scraps, and old training equipment was spotless. Now furnished with snacks in their place; Bowls filled to their brims with bean buns, dumplings, and mooncakes.

"Crane, my man. Go ahead and make yourself comfy! There's still an open space next to Viper!"

Po exclaims, happily pointing to the empty space between Viper and Mantis. Aside from the assortment of food. The centerpiece of the newly made circle is a blank scroll, serving in place of a bottle to be spun.

"Now, who wants to spin first?" Po asked as cool as he could manage, holding back his excitement. After all, this is time he's able to spend with all of the five outside of everyday training. Occasions such as this rarely came, and if it did it was somehow Kung Fu related. Nothing fun, or relaxing

'I'll go' monkey volunteered gleefully. Scarfing the remainder of his mooncake the simian springs off of his tail he used to rest on, swiftly moving the scroll from its origin to make his spin. 'That's the spirit!' Po exclaims eager to be the first dared. In a stroke of unluckiness the first pair consists of the mischievous Monkey, and a reluctant Crane.

Truth or dare? The simian asked

'I choose , dare.' The Crane stated boldly, not thinking of what that choice meant considering who he was paired with.

"I'll make this one easy, your dare is…" monkey pauses for a moment giving his dare some thought. His signature mischievous grin soon followed. That was it, the sign that signaled to Crane that he was not going to enjoy this moment. 'One moment' Monkey said, quickly leaving the room. Only to return with a worn out, stitched together burlap sack. It's contents unknown to the group.

"Po usually does his laundry every fifth day of the week after training. So-"

'So what?' Crane interrupts

"I want you to take an uninterrupted whiff of Po's dirty laundry." Soon as his statement came to a close, audible gagging can be heard among them.

"C'mon guys they do NOT smell that bad!" Po exclaimed in defense of himself, feeling a little offended by the general outcry

"Last spring your clothes smelled so bad I passed out sparring with you" Mantis said matter of factly, Immediately shooting down any rebuttal. 'Yeah... it's a little bad Po' Viper adds. Trying her best to be nice to avoid hurting the ursines feelings. "Yeah, 'little'" Tigress added sarcastically, punctuating her statement with air quotes.

"Pfft I've been through worse!" Crane boasts with false confidence, swiping the sack from his teammates hand. Hesitating to go through with the task, now having the dirty articles of clothing in his possession. Gulping in tandem with his stiff body and shaky wings. No longer dwindling on the idea, the avian opens the sack piercing it's contents with his beak. Believing that the faster it was done the more bearable the dare would be. For a moment, this was true. The master had completed the task with ease confident that the remainder of the night should be just as smoothe. None the wiser that a small piece of cloth was still attached to his beak. A consequence of his haphazard dive into the bag.

"Uh… Crane you have a bit of something on your beak." Monkey pointed out laughing. Motioning to the ripped fabric above the Crane's nose holes. Coming to the realization in great disgust from the potent smell looming over his nostrils, Crane gags. 'I think I'm going to be sick' he mumbled, flicking away the torn fabric from his beak. With his dare now completed the master lies down on his end of the circle.

"Well he didn't pass out. Guess Crane gets the point on this one." Po says adding a tally to the Avians column.

'Sooooo who's nex-' before the Panda could finish, an eager Tigress picks up the scroll stating: she is. With one strong twist of her wrist and flick of her claws the object spun as if it were motorized. 'You didn't have to spin it that hard…' Viper uttered with a pinch of concern. "Is this not how you're supposed to play?" the Tiger asked with a hint of confusion. Her tone however made her question come off more as a statement. Her honest feelings flying over the heads of her teammates as always.

Tension begins to brew in the circle as a sudden realization hits everyone, one. by. one. Tigress had spun the scroll. It's understandable why the feeling of unease would follow. The person they deemed impossible to read and frostier than a blizzard now had the ability to give you a command that you were essentially honor bound to follow.

As the scrolls momentum begins to slow. The remaining five heart's pound harder than before as the tip of the scroll ticked by each of them. Viper, Crane, Mantis and Monkey. The scroll finally stops, Po is the one the scroll has chosen.

I believe I'm supposed to ask the question now. Truth or dare? She asks locking eyes with the Panda.

Po gulps nervously thinking of what would be the best option to pick. If he picks truth he risks embarrassing himself more than he already did on occasion. If he picks dare he risks hurting himself, and possible point disadvantage.

'Dare?' Po said hesitantly, wincing as the word left his mouth.

"Alright then. Your dare will be a test of discipline. Should be easy for the dragon warrior, right? She said in an almost condescending tone, Throwing his own words back at him.

'Pshh yeah I can do whatever test you throw at me.' He said not completely confident in his words.

"For this challenge I want you to walk on the palace roof."

That's it? I could do that easy! He said waving the thought away for how simple it was

"I'm not finished" she continued "I want you to walk on the palace rooftop with your hands only”

Po's eyes widen. Seeing as he couldn't back out now he puts on a face of fake confidence and eagerly uses his room's window to oafishly climb to the roof from there. The height where he stood was almost high enough to be a part of the clouds. Far below on the ground floor are the remainder of the five. Crane decided to stay behind to catch Po if he were to fall.

The wind whisking past Po's ears added to his anxiety as he sheepishly steps forward on the roof's thin beam.

"Careful up there! If you fall it may be a bit hard to catch you, you're a little heavy!" -Viper exclaimed from the lower level her words barely able to reach him

“Only a little?” Monkey chimed with a raise of his brow. His skepticism thick in the air

Easy does it. Po thought. The brisk night air breezing past him, his stomach uneasy, the blood pooling to head as he continues. One paw at a time he makes his way across the beam. The roofs tiles clink beneath his palms, their rattling echoing in his ears as his vision grew dizzy. The murmur of his team dying down seeing po’s pace slow down as his body began to sway. The thinner air made it harder for him to breathe. He staggers some, his rotund body teetering on the beam. To the relief of the five with a collective sigh, his balance steadies.

For a guy his size he’s surprisingly fit, I didn’-

Po’s body slams into the roof, tiles rattling and breaking as his person collides with them. His weight making his tumble swift.

Crane cuts through the night air, closing the distance between him and Po, just barely grabbing the ursine by the hem of his shorts. If he could sweat from his brow he'd wipe it in relief at such a close call. However, the strength of the avian's wings made the fresh debris swirl. The dust of the shattered tiles enter his nostrils. He recoils, twitches, and sneezes with decent force.

Ah-ah ACHOOO! Crane let out, dropping his friend. Po no longer having a buffer between him, and the ground. Continues his quick descent.

Po! Viper exclaims as she scrambles, looking to monkey. “Throw me! I can't catch him but I can slow him down.” Monkey nods with determination in his eyes monkey gets a running start before shot putting the reptile. Viper swishes through the air, meeting Po briefly shifting his momentum by grabbing his arm, and coiling her body to spring him upward. He spins as his body ragdolls from the contrasting shift in momentum.

Crane regains his composure. But his eyes still water. Puffy, red, agitated and barely open. He clumsily flies to catch his friend, but he can't. Before he can reach him, Po vanishes.

It's quiet as the five look around in a panic, their faces pale. Did Po… die? Perhaps he fell too fast for anyone to notice he already fell through the terrain. No. The dim moonlight was just enough to reveal the truth. Running on all fours tigress shaves through the night air. Under he feet a blue ring of chi pulses and fades as she took off.

Their suspense lingers as they look around to see their leader holding the unconscious Po by the hem of his shorts in one paw. With her claws of her other paw embedded into one of the palace's pillars. She throws his weight over her shoulder, as she jumps from her anchored position onto the ground below. Gently laying Po down on his back

Before they can ask questions, Po slowly comes to. Completely disoriented, he slurs his words. “Wha- wha happen, did I make it?”

Po are you okay, what happened? Tigress asks the panda. The concern for him seen in the depths of her amber eyes. Her paw holding his cheek

He smiles, with you here…I think I will be. Po adjust himself, brushing the debris off his fur. And as he stands. His shorts rip in half. As everyone's jaws drop tigress’ face is in her palm. Her face burning from embarrassment as she averts his naked body

Chapter Text

The five still stew in their previous feelings of confusion, and concern. Po still completely oblivious that his loose fitting clothing was no longer loose, but completely gone. As such, he looks around in confusion.

“Uhhh… Guys? I know I hit the roof pretty hard, but I don’t feel any bloo-” feeling the breeze graze his member, he shudders, then pauses. “ai-yah…” he says deflated, realizing the only thing protecting him from the elements is: his fat, and his fur. Trying to cover himself haphazardly with his paws, Po stumbles, his feet caught in the torn fabric of what was his shorts. One leg planted as firm as he can manage, with the other in air due to the disturbance in his lower center of gravity.

“WHOA-O-O!” he yelped, attempting to stop himself from falling. His paw skirts on the concrete beneath him; Arms outstretched swaying as he tries to steady himself. His rotund body, and manhood wobbling in response to the shaky movement.

Tigress eyes widen, her face hot as she watches the display. Her maw and brow contorting to form a unique expression. An emotion that's best described as an amalgamation of: shame, anger, embarrassment, and…arousal?

“Dammit, Po! Is there a time where you take anything seriously?” The flustered Tigress snapped. Emphasizing her displeasure by stomping in between each word. Before she could put an aggravated disapproving digit in his face. Her oncoming harangue halts, a muffled thud accompanies the cushioned stomp of the feline tripping on her tail.

If the previous display wasn’t shocking enough. This was one the five would be talking about for a long, long time. Tigress, their stone wall of a leader: was now on top of her soft bodied fellow master, flustered and frozen in place- Her maw mere inches away from his. For a moment it felt as if time stood still. The silence was palpable. The duo's sudden, and intimate contact makes their adrenaline surge. Their hearts pounding with such force it bangs in the drums of their ears.

In unison the two let out a shocked low tone “Ah!” as they separate. Springing from their heels, back onto their soles using their arms to cover themselves. Despite being fully clothed herself; Tigress closes off her body defensively, arms crossing her chest with her paws on her shoulders.

The panda scrambles to cover himself, as… he was fully at attention. The torn fabric draped across it like a flagpole- barely being obscured.

The wind whistles, it’s the only sound to break the silence. The remainder of the five who watched no longer in awe from shock, but stunned; Debating on if laughter, or the continued silence would be the better option. The former being a wish for death- was the thought a majority of the team shared. But to remain in the latter state of being would be agonizing.

Crane averts his gaze from the two. Rubbing the back of his neck, pretending to look elsewhere. The silence being too much for him he finally breaks, asking: “are... are you two, okay?” he asked hesitantly, a twinge of concern in his voice.

As if on queue, the smile Monkey covered with his digits soon became him- exploding in laughter. “PFFFT- AHAHAHAHA!” Dobbling over onto his back, Monkey continues laughing; kicking his legs, and pointing at the two still recovering from embarrassment. His eyes water, as he holds his stomach from the oncoming stitch

“Okay… whoooo- okay. He huffed in between words. Taking deep breaths to ground himself lest his laughter continue. “I didn’t expect tonight to get any better, but this? This is golden. He said, wiping away a tear.

Tigress, still hot from her blush, manages to turn the panda around forcefully. Gripping his shoulders to make his body about-face; Removing his exposed frontside from her view. Covering her peripherals with open palms

Still feeling the awkward tension in the air, Viper attempts to shift the tone to one less…uncomfortable “Heyyyy Crane, you’re good with clothes right? Think you can help me get Po into something that isn’t nothing?” she laughed nervously as she asked, using her head to point at the ursine.

His straw hat tilts as he scratches his head “Y’know, I do have a bit of experience when it comes to cloth. If we can measure him it shouldn’t take longer than…” Crane eyes the ursine’s rotund figure briefly holding the underside of his beak in thought.

“20 minutes. I believe we should have some fabric in the palace surplus”

“Let’s get going then! Viper said enthusiastically, eager to leave. Slinking under Po, Viper presses her head against the small of his back forcing him forward. “Faster we get this done, faster we can go back to the game. Thank goodness too, I do NOT want to be around Tigress until her whiskers stop burning” She mumbled. Crane mimics her sentiment, quickly nodding his head in agreement.

In a swift motion Po swipes the avian's hat, covering his exposed privates with it’s circumference. “Crane my man, I’m so sorry it’s so cold out and-”

Crane lifts his talon to interrupt, his expression quickly shifting from cringe, to silent anger, then acceptance. With closed eyes he sighs, breathing in deeply to hold his composure. “It’s…It’s okay, I can just clean it later. He punctuates his statement by shaking his head, holding the bridge of his beak with his wing. Needing time for himself, Crane walks ahead of the two.

Viper snakes along the panda’s body comfortably draping herself around his shoulders. “Sooo, do you want to talk about it or-”
Po tenses nervously. “It’ what? What ‘it? Pshhh I dunno, I’m not hiding anything!” he rambled, waving his free paw in a sweeping motion, shooing the thought out of the conversation, and deflecting the reptile's question.

Viper looks to Crane who’s now put a respectable distance between them, then back to Po. “Po, you came hurling down from over a 100 foot drop, and have no recollection on how you fell. I just want to know if my friend is okay” Still draped over his shoulders she places her head between Po’s eyes, tilting his head to have their foreheads meet. Vipers genuine feelings beam through her gaze as their eyes lock. “Okay?”

Po lets out a sigh of relief “Phew, I thought you were going to ask abou- Oh, I mean yeah!” He said with renewed vigor seeing he no longer has to dwell on the kerfuffle that unfolded mere moments ago.

One paw still focused on holding the hat on his lower half. Po does his best to paint a picture with his words, albeit with slightly handicapped hand movements. In a dramatic fashion Po pans his paw in an arch in the air. “So there I was, heroically and awesomely standing brave at the sight of such an easy dare! I looked down smiling at the height and whispered: ‘I live for the danger, I eat higher heights than this for lunch’ Po’s stomach growls interrupting his train of thought. Come to think of it, I am a little hungry.”

“Po!” Viper exclaimed to get him back on track, knowing the Panda is prone to forget.

“Where was I? Oh yeah! There I was standing awesomely in the face of danger. I swiftly raised my body, planting my paws firm on the beam, walking forward no problem. Then my breaths got heavy, and I got dizzy then my eyes got real fuzzy” He places a finger under his chin as he thinks. “Before everything went dark I remember a sting in my lower back. Then I woke up on the ground with everybody looking at me, I thought I died! Phew, I’m glad I didn’t cause that means I’d have to leave my stuff, and you guys. You’re all so cool, and I’d be really sad if I couldn’t see you all again and I wouldn't be able to do kung fu because I’d be dead and-” Po continues to ramble emotionally, inattentive to the reptile’s growing smile, warm and benign.

“See? That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Viper asked, playfully nudging the Panda’s belly with her tail, forcing out a gleeful giggle.

“Heyheyhey stop that, that tickles!” Po protests through his laughter. His body tensing, and jiggling with each playful nudge.

Crane looks over his shoulder back to the two, signaling they’ve hit the palace entrance. “We’re here” he said in a somewhat jaded tone.

“And besides, I already know you have the hots for Tigress, it’s an open secret at this point. Especially after all of that” She giggled mischievously, snaking down the ursine’s person to the ground below quickly swaying to catch up to Crane.

Po quickly became flustered. His face grew hot to match his current mood. “Wait, what?! I never said that, It’s not like I like her. I mean I like her but not like that. I mean she’s really awesome, and cool and…” Po drifts off lost in thought realizing he was not making it better for himself. That, and those who would be listening have put a distance far enough between them that he would be inaudible.

“Guys wait up!” The rotund lad cried out, now lightly jogging to catch up the two. Handicapped by the fact he still held the straw hat firm in place

Meanwhile the remainder of the five: Monkey, Tigress, and Mantis; Find their time less talkative... Mantis, growing bored, looks around before asking Monkey. “So, the game still going on? Not like I have anywhere to be or anything, just: Po’s naked, I think Tigress is broken, and I’m confused on what we should be doing.”

“I think it’s best you use your brain, and read the… open space? Monkey said, pointing his index at his temple. We met in Po’s room. Meaning we go back to Po’s room.” Monkey said before scaling the side of the palace. Making rotations around the pillar, he uses the momentum to flip onto the plane of the second floor. Perching on the slanted tiles, he yawns before looking the two over.

“You two are welcome to stay out here, but me? I know a place where I’m going to kick my feet up unbothered. Po made enough food to feed three of me.” he emphasizes his statement holding up 3 digits. Before rolling backwards into the upper floor’s window he gives a half-hearted two finger salute

Mantis leaps up onto the feline's shoulder hoping to get her attention.

“Helllooo, anyone in there? Earth to Tigress” He waves his arms in front of her eyes hoping to get a response.

Tigress, eyes still wide blink slowly giving the insect a response. Albeit one not that helpful.

“Okay, I’m just checking if we have to, I dunno put your soul back in you or something. Assuming Monkey isn’t the only one who wants to play still. I’m sure the rest will meet us back at Po’s room. Can you handle that? You, Po, same room, awkward tension in the air. Same tension that would end in my head being bitten off. That sort of thing.

Tigress shakes her head, waking herself up.

“Oh good you’re still in there, so are you-” before mantis can ask his question Tigress flicks him off her shoulder, her claw sending him flying.

“I’m fine.” she said with a twinge of bitterness in her voice. Paws relaxed behind her neck she walks off, kicking stones in her path.

Readjusting his jaw, Mantis tries to fight the dizzying effect of the feline’s strike. “I uh…I’ll take that as yes”

“And you can’t say I didn’t try!” he exclaimed behind her

As the feline continues her stroll something catches her attention, a thin almost transparent needle cracks beneath her paw. She pauses, quizzically examining the object before crouching for a clearer view. Nothing but shards remain. As if she were looking at ice, the fragments quickly began to flee from her, melting into the concrete beneath.

“What the hell?” She whispered to herself. For a moment her eyes flicker a blue hue. Instinctively, without needing vision; Her paw catches a falling shard from one of the tiles that broke above her.

“I guess, it was just debris.” Not fully believing in her own statement, the feline’s gaze darts to her side. Ever observant to the trees rustling in the wind.

“Guys. whoof… okay one second.” He huffs between words, with a raised paw. Hoping to maintain attention while also serving as a pause to catch his breath

“Guys?” Po asked, seeing he didn’t get a response from the duo.

“Shhh!” the two let out in unison. “Shifu’s here.” “Think he’s out for mid-night tea?” Viper asked

“Either that or he heard Po slam face first into the roof” he said holding the bridge of his beak

“So what are we supposed to do? We have a naked panda and no explanation for all the noise.”

The avian pauses, before letting out a disappointed sigh. “I have an idea”

“His cone of vision is low, he’s navigating from candle light. I could fly over him. Get what we need, and circle back to Po’s room. The only problem is, Po’s…everything messes with my flight pattern, and his fall from earlier strained my wings some.”

“Meaninggg?” Viper asked, confused to what the avian was insinuating.

“We’d probably have about five-ish minutes before we all drop like a sack of potatoes”

“I like those odds!” Po said in an excited whisper

Shifu's ears twitch as he looks around, his candle flickering in the air. He pauses, looking left to right. His large ears keen to pick up on the most subtle of noise. Had he heard their plans, or was it the creaking of the wooden stands that held the relics that decorated the main area? Or was it the flow of water in the pond centered beneath the head of the golden dragon’s maw?

The red panda breathes in deeply, and yawns soon after.

“The damned entrance is open, I can feel the draft from my room! The winds are already intense, I heard the tiles rattle from here! Despite being my students they all seem to be as irresponsible as each other. Another call I must answer to, I suppose. ‘Master Shifu, how's my form? Master Shifu can you help me in the scroll storage, Master Shifu have you seen my Master Crock figure anywhere? Master Shifu this, Master shifu That. Bleh! I need a damned break.”

Faint sloshing could be heard as he moved, an intense aroma secreting to the cold jade floor beneath him. It smelled of roasted nuts, and cherry blossoms. Sake! The mammal was drunk, completely unaware how audible his thoughts were. In fact it’s not the only thing sloppy. The Master’s robe was worn on one shoulder, the other end slipping down his arm. It’s open, it’s sash dragging behind him the same way his now drooping tail did. His bare body only covered by the lone fundoshi on his lower half. He stumbles as he walks closer to the open entrance. Grumbling to himself as he closes the distance between him, and the towering doors. The wind howls through the gaps of the doors, blowing past the mammal. His robe sways along the wind's currents, the brisk air doing more than just send chills down the mammals spine. The flame that enveloped the wick flickered, but remained strong despite the breeze. Much to the dismay of the group at large.

The mammal yawns scratching his rear before using his free paw to pull the door. He pauses, as his ears twitch again. His breath hitches, his nose wiggles… and the candle blows out. “Achoo!”

Viper slinks up Crane’s legs, neatly draping herself across his shoulder. While Crane perches himself on top of Po's shoulders in preparation.

Crane begins counting down quickly as he sees the flame go out. Rapid breaths to build his adrenaline. “3.2.1. Go!” In a swift motion Crane heaves Po’s weight ascending the trio yards above the red panda, a brief gust whirling beneath them.

“Alright!” Po excitedly whispered, raising his paw triumphantly. His celebration disturbing the consistency of the avian’s flight

“Easy does it. We still have to land.” Crane said angrily though his closed beak.

“Ugh- dammit.” Crane winced. A sharp pain prodding under his wing.
The flapping of Crane's wings became arrhythmic. With his motion handicapped, each lopsided flap shifts the ursine’s weight closer to the ground.

The disturbance in his movement shakes the group at large, the grip Po had on the straw hat began to falter. His grip slipping with each shaky flap of Crane’s wings. One after the other, the straw hat began to slip from under his digits until it slipped from right under his paw.

Paw outstretched, he fails to catch it. His index brushing along the brim. Doing nothing more than tip the hat in his direction as it falls. His panicked kicks only meeting the open air whiffing the hat each time. One strike after another he fails to do more than just toss the headwear in different directions. His face grew pale as the hat continued it’s descent.

One last strike is all he would be granted. If he missed this one, there was no saving it from the fall. He arches his leg close enough that it could almost touch his rear end, and in an instant it springs forward.

whoosh

His foot pierced the air, but this time it was met by something. His catch succeeded! The tip of his paw holding the hat afloat.

“Whew” the trio let out a sigh of relief. The tension in their bodies starting subside.

The ever lowering stamina of Crane makes him stagger again. The victory short-lived.

As the jerking motion knocked loose what little hold his paw had on the hat. He had no choice but to watch, each moment it fell away from him felt like an eternity. A shiver ran through his body. The cold scales of Viper slithering across his person. Thinking quickly, she had snaked her way down Crane, and around Po’s leg. Using his leg as an extension of her body, Viper anchors herself to ursine's ankle, lashing her body forward snatching the hat out of the air, the brim of the hat tucked neatly in her maw.

The door slams behind them. The wind doing the job the small mammal could not.

“Dammit! Now I’ll be drinking in the dark. Oh well.” He slurred, the pitter patter of his small paws echoing from beneath him. The small mammal taking another swig of his sake before belching.

Crane clumsily tosses Po, his friend’s rotund body rolling smoothly across the Jade floor as if he used him to bowl.

“Eugh, finally.” Crane said, shaking the strain out of his wings.

“Arm mrow wart” The reptile said, words muffled through her closed maw still latched onto the hat.

Patoo! Viper spat. “I know right? I thought he’d stay there, and ramble to himself all night.”

“Do I really sound like that? It was only one time, one. That I asked to help me organize. I am not that whiny.” he said defensively, offended by Shifu’s mocking of his character

The chamber is practically pitch black, the only source of light being the dim moonlight through the screen windows of the palace. Despite this, Po and Viper manage to side eye each other in silence.

“Oh come on.” Crane cried

“Guys, I don't mean to interrupt but the floor is really cold.” Po said meekly, the cold jade floor in contrast to his warm bare body.

“Oh yeah, that… Well, no time like the present. Let’s get moving!” Viper said enthusiastically.

Snif snif. The reptile sniffed the air, confused by the aroma in her proximity. Not disgusted, but intrigued.

“And I think you might need a bath too, Po. You smell…funny” Viper said

“One problem at a time please.” Crane said, tired from the situation as a whole.

Chapter Text

Navigating by torch, the trio find themselves nearing their destination. Crane ruffles his feathers as the group descends further into the catacombs of the palace

“I should come down here more, this place is a mess. Dusty, cramped, and with the lack of light it’s a sore for the eyes.” Crane said somewhat nasally, covering his nostril holes with his wing.

“It’s not everyday someone of Po’s size has a wardrobe malfunction.” Viper added matter of factly. “Not to mention outside of ceremonies, none of you need new clothes.”

“Well I wouldn’t say that, what if you-”

The reptile’s eyes narrow, glaring with her gaze.

“Crane.”

“Right, right…” The avian drifted, rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

“Well I think your ribbons make your scales shine a brilliant hue” Po chimed happily with a curtsy.

“Thank you, Po” Viper replied with a soft smile. “We’ll be sure to get you something that keeps all of your ‘awesomeness’ intact. Got a color in mind?” Viper asked; tilting her head back to make eye contact with Po, Still slithering ahead.

“Guhhh! That’s uhh… uncomfortable, can you not like. Look at me rightside up?” The ursine asked, making circle motions with his index.

“Nope” Viper said with a gleeful gummy smile.

“Now, the question still stands. What color really brings out that dragon warrior style?” The reptile asked, pouting sassily.

“Well, I don’t have anything in mind. I was hoping for something fierce. Like Red, like fiyah! Or maybe a majestic gold, like a rising Phoenix! Oh wait, wait. White sounds good, very pristine, very sophisticated.” Po said with his pinky raised in a mocking manner.

“How about a nice blue, or purple?” Crane added, peering over his shoulder

“Maybe seeing it will help you visualize what’s the most, you” Viper said with widened eyes

“That’s if I can see anything, it’s dark in here. Like, really dark. Like other side of the moon, close your eyes and still not dark as-”

“We get it Po” Crane and Viper said in unison

“Shouldn’t be that much further. It’s: scrolls, artifacts, then cloth, in that order.” Crane said, counting each item on his wing. “You see, I actually organized these rooms on my own. It can be a bit of a hassle so occasionally I’d have to ask for help. Emphasis on that occasionally. Crane said, muttering the latter end of his sentence.

“Great! Because I was getting hungry, and being naked has not been fun.”

“Duck.” The avian said faintly, drowned out by the ursines speech

“That, and- YEOOWW. Why is the ceiling that low?!” Po said, rubbing his freshly impacted forehead

“Low hang got you? You’ll get used to it. The palace is thousands of years old. It feels seemingly random sometimes, but as all things in the universe, every stone has it’s purpose.” Crane said in a manner one could only describe as scholarly, deeply infatuated by every crevice of the terracotta structure.

“Yeah, well. That stone’s destiny was to hit my skull. So, not a fan.” Po said utterly disinterested, making a flatline motion with his paw

Crane brushes aside cobwebs. Flapping his wings to clear the dust that caked the steel plated entry in front of them. The door’s creaks echo through the tunnel, and hinges shriek as it opens.

Fwoosh!

The flame of the torches that lined the entrance, roar to life. The flame from Crane's torch spreading to the others.

“There, just as neat as I left it.” Crane declared proudly

“You were not wrong, we should come down here more…” Po said in awe, surveying the room in its entirety. The towers of folded satin fabric glisten in the dim torchlight.

“Wait a minute! This was down here the whole time? I could have slept in a blanket that went past my stomach, AND WRAPPED AROUND ME?!” Po exclaimed

“I meannn, you never asked. With your build, we sort of figured you were already warm enough” Crane said

…

“We’ll get back to that later. Now, I would like to not be in the buff, please.” Po cried

“Okay, Okay. One thing at a time.” Crane replied

“That’s a fun descriptor, I don't think I’d use it to describe your situation though.” Crane whispered with a smile, holding back his laughter.

“Have you ever been measured before?” Crane asked. His beak held pins, his wings too busy to hold them as he dug for tools.

“Crane, his shorts are patchworked with every shade of brown there is. I don’t think he’s been measured since he was born.” Viper said matter of factly, somewhat shocked at the notion.

“Fair, but it’s not like that’s his only article of clothing he has, right? Couldn’t be…” Crane gagged

“Guys, I am still here.” Po added. His face contorting to one of disinterest, and annoyance.

Viper places her tail end under her chin in thought. “I’m thinking: loose fitting, breathable, and curve accentuating.”

“Now raise your arm” Crane directed, surveying tape in wing

The panda complies, trying his best to hold the straw hat steady with his free paw.

“Now the other one” Crane nugged, tapping the ursine’s shoulder with his talon

Po swaps his paw’s positions with one another, palms sweaty as he does his best to protect his privates from public view.

“Po, you need to raise both arms for me to measure your waist.” Crane said, with a tired expression.
“I don’t know if this is long enough anyway. Viper might have to close the gap, if there is one.”

“We’d have to start with underwear first, honestly” Viper added, looking up at the avian through her peripherals.

“Waitwaitwait at least turn around, or or or something!” He cried, shyly continuing to cover his privates

“I have what we need. Now we can get to work.” Crane said with a mischievous grin.

“Drop the hat, Po” Viper added, her expression beginning to match Crane’s

“C-cmon guys, we could just work around it.” Po said worriedly, as he viewed the grins his friends wore.

“Ah!”

The panda yelped, as the two made their move. Viper darts at the ursine, quickly closing the distance between them. She latches on to his ankle, before slinking towards his upper half. Enclosing the brim of the hat in her maw, she lashes it forward, throwing in Crane’s direction; Who promptly drops his talon on it, anchoring it to the cold stone floor beneath them. The well ‘worn’ hat slowly losing the warmth Po’s body gave it.

“Now, we can start. Arms up, keep that belly untucked, let's get all of this covered, and add a little flair while we're at it. Viper, would you kindly?” Crane asked, gesturing to the cloth he held. Decent in length, it’d be more than enough to cover his bottom half.

Coiling up his leg, Viper’s movement starts at the panda’s backside. Springing up Po’s person, Viper expertly slides the fabric between his cheeks. Following the motion, she drapes the cloth across Po’s shoulder. From there, she elegantly glides across his body; Looping under his member, wrapping around his waist, and anchoring the cloth as if she were a belt. In her maw she snatches the loose cloth, roping it around the cloth on his backside

“Traditionally, the cloth hangs in front of your fruits and berries, but you’ve been pretty clumsy. Besides, this looks better on you”

“Mmmphf!” Viper growled, as she used her tail to slap the panda’s ass.

The now finished fundoshi makes the panda squirm. Po adjusts himself, but the fabric still rides up his rear end. Uncomfortable? Sure. But definitely still accentuates the plumpness of his back end, while also neatly nestling his nethers.

“There! All done, and you look great already!” Viper cheered

“Yes, yes he does. My poor, poor hat can finally rest now.” Crane said sarcastically

“Now for the hard part.” Viper said, pouting her lips as she places her tail by her side

“That, wasn't the hard part?!” Po exclaimed

“I certainly felt something hard when I was wrapping your knickers” Viper replied with a grin

“I-I don't know what you're talking about.” The panda stammered, utterly embarrassed. His face flushed, dawning a crimson hue. Blood rushing from below, to above.

“I think… I think I'd like to pick a color now” Po said, diverting the point conversation away from his somewhat erect phallice.

———————————————
With the night still young. Two of the five have reconvened in Po’s room.

“Yeah, and she just walked off!” Mantis exclaimed

“Myeah, shounds abouwt wrhight” monkey said, cheeks stuffed with mooncakes. He holds a digit up as he swallows.

“All things considered, this is her on a good day. Trees aren't split open with claw marks, and boulders haven't been turned to debris. In my eyes, I consider this a win.” Monkey said, spinning a moon cake on his index

“Sure, tell that to my jaw” Mantis grumbled.

“Not my fault you poked the short tempered feline.” Monkey replied. He tosses his mooncake in the air, catching it in his mouth soon after.

“Look at it like this: Tigress is cooling off, Po is getting not naked, and we're totally chill here. Best you just enjoy yourself while we have downtime” Monkey said in a non chalant manner.

“You're just here for the hell of it, aren't you?” Mantis asked, stone faced.

“Yeup. I get a free excuse to torture whoever, and get to avoid chores for a month if I win? This is a win-win for sure” The simian chuckled

“So we just wait?” Mantis asked

“Yeup” Monkey replied, waving another pastry in hand

“So why did you end up staying?” Monkey asked

“I uh… I don’t have anything better to do” Mantis said, somewhat dejected

“Haha! I figured. What would someone like you have going on?” Monkey chuckled

“I do things, lots of interesting things” Mantis grumbled

“Suuure you do, and for reference. It doesn’t count if we tagged along.” Monkey added

“Ugh, okay I get it!” Mantis exclaimed defensively

“Besides, it’s more than just that. We don’t really… do anything together. Missions, training, dealing with the occasional bandit raid in the valley; But nothing fun.”

“Go onnnn” Monkey chimed

“This night has been the most eventful, and entertaining thing we’ve had in months. There’s still so much of the night left, I really just want us to do something fun. Because, what happens when the game’s over? We go back to staying in our rooms, only ever bothering to see each other when it’s chore day?

Monkey pauses, his eyes widening slightly as he internalizes the insect's speech.

“I… I never thought of it like that. Instead of thinking about what happens after. Let’s just focus on what happens next. Who knows, we might be able to do something like this again.” Monkey said with renewed vigor

“In the meantime, I got an idea. This’ll be fun.” Monkey said with a grin

“Did you know I can tell the future? Monkey asked

“That’s rhino shit, but go on” Mantis added stone faced

“Three Yuan says Crane is the first to walk back in.” Monkey replied with a smirk

“Easy. Viper. Final answer.” Mantis declared confidently

“If you’re sure. Just saying, I can already feel my pockets getting just a liiiitle bit heavier” Monkey said smugly, making a pinching motion with his thumb, and index; Mocking Mantis size.

“Yeah right, I’m telling you man. I’ve seen her move, she’s in here before both of them plus Tigress” Mantis replied

“If you say so.” Monkey said sarcastically. Going for another pastry, Monkey tosses a mooncake from one hand, to the other. Winding his wrist he tosses it into the air, ready for it to fall right into his mouth. Mere moments before the sweet delight would meet the simian's tongue, the insect's claw interrupts it’s flight. Stabbing it, Mantis snatches the mooncake from the air.

“And stop eating so many! I want some!” Mantis exclaimed

“Fine, fine.”Monkey said with a giggle, subtly popping one in his mouth. His cheeks stuffed once again
———————————————
“Green, it looks good on you” Crane said pridefully, admiring his work.

“I know!” Viper squealed

“Exactly as I imagined too” Viper growled, her would be fangs biting her lower lip.

The panda’s finished attire did just as the duo imagined. Neatly draping over his shoulders, the garb was loose, but not uncomfortable. The cloth accentuated the curvature of his build nicely. The winding V-shape from the shoulders create a window to his breast, the garb tightening around the area made his supple, and soft pectorals protrude through it. The Kimono’s gold sash caressed his waist. In addition, it framed his rear perfectly; The curvature of his hips prominent. The cloth manages to contain his posterior. As he walked each step would make his plump backside wobble, but it never rose above the underside of his cheeks. It’s length capping out just above his knees.

“You think so?” Po asked, eyeing his proportions in the clothing.

“Mhmm” viper nodded

“Much better than what you were in before” Crane said

“But I wasn’t in anything.” Po said, befuddled by the comment

“I know” Crane replied sarcastically.

“And with that, we can start heading back. Assuming this wasn’t where you wanted the night to end.” Crane said, a hint of intrigue in his voice

“Are you kidding?!”

“This

Has been…

AWESOME!” Po exclaimed, bursting with excitement

“I mean, I was naked for a while. But now I’m not, and we can play again! You gotta admit, there was a rush when I fell, right? Got to really spice things up, yeah? Just like spicy food, and kung fu. Life gets more exciting with some kick…kicks?”

Crane and Viper’s expressions shift from ones of concern, to smiles as they dobble over in laughter. That’s Po, he hasn’t changed.

“Oh, and one more thing. Speaking of spicing things up, remember Shifu being totally sloshed? I’m thinking we bring some sake to this party!” Po declared

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that actually” Crane said, slightly surprised by the declaration

“It’s to the left of where we entered. We can get it on the way out”

“Awesome! Let’s get going then!” Po exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air

“Oh, and Po. Why green? Viper asked

“Simple, it’s my favorite color. Matches my eyes too. It’s not just that though. It compliments someone- I mean something else too.

The trio continues their way out of the catacombs, entering the cellar they passed prior.

“Crane my man, you coming? We could use a han-err wing.” Po asked

“Just a sec” the avian replied
———————————————

“I’m telling you man, the money is as good as mine. Viper clears those two, easy” Mantis said adamantly

Almost as if on queue. The screen door slides open revealing the trio. The first to enter was… Viper. Ducking his head at the low opening, Crane followed soon after. Po being the last to enter.

“Hey hey hey! Ya miss us? Most importantly did ya miss me?” Po asked with a cheeky green

“Pay up.” Monkey said smugly

“WHAT?!” Mantis exclaimed.

“You didn’t hear me did you? I said he’d be the first to walk back in. I never said anything about slithering” Monkey said with a chuckle

“I told you I can see the future, guess you couldn’t tho.” Monkey added, hands behind his back as he reclined on his tail.

“What’s going on exactly?” Crane asked, utterly confused

“I wouldn’t worry about it, just know our friend Mantis isn’t the best with words” Monkey said. His posture relaxed, and a smile on his face he continues to lounge. The money was not of interest to him, being right was a reward in itself.

Monkey perks up briefly upon noticing an off detail of Crane’s person.

“Oh, I see you’ve got your hat back” Monkey chimed

The avian briefly stood confused before answering.
“Oh this? Yeah, I did say I’d clean it.”

Crane said, wiping ash from his shoulder