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Chapter Text

If a mission didn't go well, Captain Kirk would normally be able to move on and continue exploring the stars. The man was highly resilient and seemed to always have the ability to bounce back with a calm fierceness. Everyone on the crew of the Enterprise knew it, that is one of the reasons why the ship is so highly regarded in Starfleet in the first place.
A ship is nothing without its captain after all. 

Now maybe it was the fact that Jim had not been found in six months, or perhaps it was the fact that when they did find their beloved Captain, he did not speak a word. 

Mr. Spock walked forward in the looming halls, the lack of light only enhanced the atmosphere, leaving flickering lamps in its wake. Now the crew of the USS Enterprise had been trying to find a mysterious underground crime ring for a while, under the orders of Starfleet of course. The crime operation served a variety of things as long as you had the right money, simply dubbed  "The Pleasures of GALACTICA" .  Mr. Spock was leading the way through this base, which was later discovered as a mix of a base of operations, and a trading port. Followed by Mr. Spock was Leonard McCoy, and two security guards, just to be safe. The halls echoed with a variety of noises, some of joy, some not so much. Leonard was excited to have this place shut down for good, Mr. Spock for once agreed with the doctor. The group kept moving, out of fear that if they'd stayed in one place for too long they would never have found Captain Kirk. The sound of boots against concrete was a nice split against everything else, the rushing of thoughts, the blood curdling fear, the creeping dread, the loud wails from god only knows where. No one said anything, presumably of the fact that no one had known what to say, also to not get caught. Two men in suits began to walk down the hall, which had lead the entire group to being stuffed in a small nook in the wall. 

It was a tight space, barely any room to breathe, not that anyone wanted to risk breathing too loud anyways. Mr. Spock kept his arm over Leonard, and the security guards had been pushed to the back of the small area in the wall. 
The two men passed without even a glance back, and the group was able to fan out again, the idea of a sigh of relief crossing most of their minds. They went through twisting hallways that only seemed to go further and further down the horrible underground labyrinth. Like mere mice in some pitiful experiment, even Spock felt his Vulcan composure beginning to slip. Phasers were held out in front in case of a moments notice, but they were held in shaking hands masquerading as steady. They kept moving forward, they had to. The walls of the maze seemed to grow higher and higher as the group checked in rooms that were empty, and hallways that led nowhere. 

Then it had become around the fifth dead end in the past hour, everyone was tired, and no one knew if Jim was even still alive. Spock's face was almost in a semblance of a glare as the party continued to trample around. 
"It is illogical that the Captain would have ceased living, he was able to contact us yesterday.." Spock muttered, more as a promise to himself, but even he wasn't sure, as he was unable to bring up any statistic or likelihood that could've supported his claim. 
"Dammit he has to be fine, I don't even want to think about if he isn't" Leonard snapped back. 
The group was quiet for the rest of the search after that. 

They had to keep going, it had been hours since they began looking but god forbid they stop now. The Enterprise had contacted them a few times, Scotty asking for updates to make sure they weren't dead, mainly avoiding the topic about if they had found Jim yet, because the first few times lead to Leonard shouting at Scotty to keep it down. 

Eventually the group found some cells, with strong clear walls similar to glass on all sides. The floor of the cells was bleak grey concrete. There was glaring, bleak, white lights over some, with dim lighting over others, alongside a grappling difference of the quality of treatment. When a woman and her husband came into the hall, Spock, Leonard, and  the two security guards had spread out, hiding in darker parts of the area. There was some dim corners, and gaps between cells that were not visible to the other people in the place to the group's disposal. Then they saw an interesting interaction take place.

"Yes, this one," A woman had said as an Orion female was led from one of the cells. The Orion was unhealthily skinny, her hair ran down her back. The woman who requested the Orion was given a collar, which was placed on the other being's neck. The Orion was only able to nod as the woman took her away. The two women went through a door at the end of a hall, and were gone without a trace. 

Now before Spock or Leonard could even begin to process any of that, they still had to deal with the task at hand. Find. The. Captain. The scared, quiet, walking pace of the group turned into a sprint when what has been happening began to settle in. 

For all they know Jim could've already been sold off without another word, left god only knows where in the galaxy, being treated in ways that no one dared wish to think about. So they decided to hopefully get to Captain Kirk faster, before anyone else could. 
Before anyone dared to. 

They kept running for what felt like hours, and maybe it was, with no clocks or windows to track the time for all the crew could tell, they could've been down there for days and days on end, for what could seemingly be a hopeless cause. For all they know the Enterprise could've already left, and none of them would be any the wiser.
Until they needed help. 

The first thing Mr. Spock heard was the sound of sniffling. 
Now who knew where it really was coming from, that was the thought originally, but as they approached a final cell stuffed in the corner of a dark, humid hallway, there could only be once answer. The group turned their sprint down ever so slightly to more of a fast walk, as Spock felt his heard pounding in his side, while Leonard 's was pounding in his chest. Leonard was about to make a shitty remark, something about Jim, but when they rounded that corner, everyone became silent. A silence that was only broken by the sound of ragged breathing. 
Then Spock's silence, calmness, and Vulcan mask, shattered on the floor in a million pieces. 

The room smelled horrible for a start, reddish- brown stains streaked some parts of the floor and the wall. The glass was still strong, and still much too clear. There was a faded paper taped to the glass, simply reading- 'Uncooperative, not in condition to be sold, working to fix now, if this paper is not removed, in no use to be bought/ star date- that ink on the page was too smudged to read, implying it was from when the occupant was first captured.  Shreds of once yellow fabric were close to the back right corner of the cell, desperately clutched in shaking hands of the imprisoned, said hands were bound together with a tight rope, the style that had stopped being in use long before the twenty third century. The cell was painfully dim, but just enough lighting where everything could still be seen. A mop of brown hair was in the groups line of sight, it tangled and matted beyond what was originally thought possible, with large patches of knotting that would most likely have to be cut out. Scars and lashes snaked through visible ribs on the body of the imprisoned, his eyes were bloodshot and red. He was shaking like a leaf in the wind, but he wasn't the only one. 

Mr. Spock, simply stood for a moment, the entire group did, but when Leonard began to snap out of it, Spock only stood. Now that didn't mean that Leonard McCoy in all his snarky remarks knew what to say, but he was pressed to the glass, trying to find a weak spot desperately. Or maybe McCoy was trying to talk to The Captain. Spock couldn't tell, everyone's voices were muffled at best anyways, ringing in his own ears as he tried to keep some semblance of calm.

Now, Mr. Spock was correct, logically Jim wasn't talking.
Jim also wasn't looking at Leonard as he desperately pounded against the glass, trying to scramble for his phaser to blast open the door. Spock then thought to himself, the next logical thing to do. It set his mind back on a track that could be followed, a simple order of instructions like a computer code. With that Spock grabbed his own phaser and continued to help Leonard blast through the glass. 
The second there was a sign of leeway in that horrible barrier, Spock threw himself through. He tried to reason that it was logical, that he was the best one suited to speak with the Captain to calm him down- ignoring how he had pushed Leonard aside, ignoring the very human tears streaming down his face. 

"Captain.." Spock began, the word sounding much more choked then he intended it to. He reached out slowly, knowing the emotional compromise possible if his hand touched Jim's skin- Jim's bruised, scratched, battered, dirty skin. -Yet Spock found that he wasn't able to bring himself to care at the moment. 
Jim flinched, a small whimper escaping, strangled by the fact that he probably hadn't drank any water in a good while. Spock immediately retracted his hand back like he had been burned, simply choose to stay on the other side of the cell, so Jim was hopefully able to seem more calm. Leonard choose to watch for guards, because if he had stared at Jim any longer than he had originally, he would've completely lost his composure. 

Then the guards that McCoy was watching for came, some died, but they had no more time to remain there, none at all. When Leonard had tried to call up to the Enterprise, no response came, they weren't getting out of this the easy way, that's for sure. With that Spock had to do something he planned on regretting later. He scooped up a shaking, flinching, wide-eyed, shirtless Kirk, and began to sprint with the rest of the group. Emotions flooded through the touch, those of rage or disgust most likely being from Spock, those of shock..
There was nothing else in that moment beside shock in Jim.
That said enough about the situation. 

They had ran and ran through those endless hallways from before. 
Phasers were shot, the security personnel brought from the ship were lost in the scuffle, their bodies abandoned behind. There was no time for a proper burial. There was only time to run, and occasionally shoot. There was no time to think, only to get out hopefully alive. The chase continued, the Captain had passed out at some point during the altercation, his face buried in Spock's chest. Then they had ran too far, being forced to stop at a dead end.
They were cornered, that was the only way to describe it. Around where some of the mysterious guards of 'The Pleasures of GALACTICA' . Neither Leonard or Spock intended going down without a fight, but before any brawl could've taken place, before Spock could've attempted to calm down an awake, and shaking Jim. 
They were beamed up aboard the Enterprise. 

Chapter Text

Spock has always been loyal to Starfleet; he remains as such, but there is a newfound human sense of rage bubbling beneath the surface. 
Now it wasn't exactly a new thing for human emotions to be wrung from Spock by the Captain, almost always unintentional. 
Like the glances Spock would steal of the Captain on occasion

Back when they were on the bridge, when they were heading to find this god forsaken crime ring... Jim was chatting with the crew, slipping in commands along the way. Everyone was in a good mood, thinking that this mission was going to be quick on their end.
Just as it was supposed to be. 

Now perhaps it was the little things that enraptured Spock. The way the Captain would smile when he was socializing with the other crew members on the bridge, or how he was always at the ready with an idea to fix whatever was stopping the group from completing their mission in the past, and now. From Spock's science station he was always sneaking glances at the Captain. Maybe it was the fact that he used to always light up the bridge when he walked in.
Maybe it was because he always knew the right thing to say under stress. 
Whatever it was, made Spock fascinated by the Captain. 
Like there was an invisible string pulling him to Kirk. 

It was unintentional at first, but before Spock could've thought about it too hard, he found that any inhibitions died at the door they knocked on. It's not like Spock is stealing glances at the Captain out of anything other than loyalty to the Captain, no human emotions used or required. Because Vulcans operated on logic, not emotion, logic. Which meant Spock also operated on logic, even if he was technically half human. 
"We will all be fine, if everything goes according to plan this will be quick," Jim said smiling.
And to think, Spock believed him. 

Now Spock waits outside medbay, a switch in shifts giving him the free time. Now under normal circumstances he would be playing chess with Jim, or talking with Jim, or hanging out with Jim. That is obviously not an option, none of those are, but it does give way to a sadder, but still important option: check on Jim.

Spock keeps his hands clasping behind his back as he waits, remaining calm. Though in the back of his mind, he is begging for the door to open as fast as possible. When the door does open with a hiss approximately 1.35 minutes later, Spock is met with Nurse Chapel. 
"Is the Captain stable?" Spock asks, just to be safe. 
Nurse Chapel simply nods, her face portraying the gravity of the situation. Then again, everyone has been more stressed recently, no one is really to blame. If a crew member snaps at someone else the golden rule is to just give grace and move on. Now Spock doesn't really care for the idea, seeing as if crew members are having mental issues it should be addressed in med bay, but then again even Spock feels a bit emotionally compromised. -Which he has been keeping under control by simply throwing himself into his duties harder. 

The door hisses open as Spock is let inside. The entire sick bay is eerily silent, except for the sounds of machines beeping, and staff walking around. 
Near the corner of the room is Jim, quiet, clinging on to the scraps of his shirt from before, bandages wrapping everywhere, his eyes looking past the back wall; at some void unreachable. He is thankfully cleaner now than he was back in that horrible place.  
"Captain.." Spock starts, his voice gentilier than expected. There is no response, not even a glance. The Vulcan's mouth presses into a thin line, unsure of what to do next. What is he even to do? In all his day since they escaped "The Pleasures of GALACTICA" Jim has been practically catatonic. As much as Spock wishes to ask the Captain what happened, with the man already not talking, bringing up the situation will probably only make it worse. Mr. Spock chooses to simply sit in a chair by Jim's bed. The Captain still doesn't react, so the duo stays close to each other in silence. 

The entire sight is quite pitiful in the average opinion, but nothing can be done about it, at least not for now. There are many unanswered questions, who knows if they will ever be answered.  Leonard is found occasionally peaking in on the duo, nothing more to be said at the moment. 
Spock doesn't keep his eyes of Jim which thankfully is not upsetting the injured man.

Now Spock can't remember when he began to talk to Jim about the experiments going on in the science lab, maybe it was to make both their minds quieter.
Spock decided that it was because Kirk is still the Captain and therefore must know what is happening around the ship. It is only logical. 
It manages to get a semblance of a reaction out of Kirk.

It's not much, but when Jim's eyes darted ever so slightly to the right where Spock is sitting instead of just boring forward into the back wall, that was progress. The Captain's grip on the shreds of fabric has not loosened, but Spock doesn't see it as a primary concern at least not at this very moment. A sense of peace settles around the room, with Spock practically rambling about every science experiment that happened in the past three months while Jim gives very small, practically unnoticeable signs that he is listening. It is enough, it is enough for now.
And that's how the visit continued until Spock was notified he was needed on the bridge. 

As the Vulcan begins to stand up, Jim's arm shoots over and clutches Spock's wrist, a silent plea to not leave.
To not abandon him again. 
Sadly Spock has to leave, but not without a quiet promise.

"I will return Captain as soon as I am able to."

Chapter Text

"Captain I do not see how this will be as you said an 'easy mission''
"It's just a quick gathering of information, we go in, then leave as if we were never there, then we send the information back to Starfleet so this ring can go down for good, simple" Jim said as if it really was that simple. Considering they didn't even have set in coordinates yet, and the fact that the place where the crime ring was possibly located was on the edge of the neutral zone between Romulan space, the mission looked complicated at best. Now Spock was considering to keep debating and have every possible notion in place at that very moment, but they didn't even know the place they were searching for. At the moment they had a message from an insider and nothing more. Sadly the message wasn't exactly traceable either, just leading them to a vague point in the neutral zone. 
"Captain, we aren't even sure of what to search for," Spock replied, the answer being shorter than what he had originally intended. Now Spock did look up to the Captain, the man was never as logical as Spock, but always knew how to get out of a tight situation, it was admirable. 
"Again, Mr. Spock, it will be okay, we have worked with less than a lead in the past for some missions, this one isn't much different," Jim said, an overwhelming calm to his voice. Spock almost wanted to believe him. "Now please, can we get back to our game?" Jim said, with a smile that had broke through his face. 
"Of course Captain," Spock had said, picking his next move on the multi-layered chess board. The game continued on, chess pieces moving around, Spock's moves were more predictable and calculated, while Jim played like a madman, but somehow they complemented each other perfectly. The game made the room more relaxed, perhaps Spock didn't have to run every possibility of what could happen on the mysterious mission, he wasn't worried about it, because Vulcans of course don't worry. Worry and fear was illogical, this mission under Jim's command began to sound less bad with every passing moment. 
Jim kept making moves until,
"Checkmate." he said proudly, as he leaned back in his chair. Spock glanced over the board, trying to figure out where his error in play lied. It was an ingenious move to gain the Captain victory within the game, and Spock accepted defeat, not that he really was going to debate it anyways. With that the duo walked from the room, the mission still on both of their minds, but Jim trusted Spock, because even if Jim got himself in some problem, or something bad happened, Spock was going to save him. 
"You know Mr. Spock, not matter what happens on that mission, maybe that computer brain of yours will be able to calculate us a way out?" Jim said, smiling. 
"Thank you Captain, although I think that there will need to be more planning than that."

What numbers need to be run to fix a person? 
And maybe the Captain shouldn't have trusted him so much? 
After all, Spock was the one who had to make the decision that sealed Jim's fate. 

These thoughts ran through Mr. Spock's mind as he sat at Jim's bedside, it is the second visit since the Captain came aboard again. Now Vulcans do not feel guilt, because that is a human emotion, but as Spock sees Jim staring off into space again, still silent, his face only holding a sense of muted horror that no words could ever describe, malnourished, and flinching at nothing.
Spock feels a distant relative of the emotion of guilt. 
So he does the only thing he can think of in that moment, do what he did last time and discuss life on the ship as if everything is normal. 
"The engines have been experiencing malfunctions again, Scotty was able to fix them so no issues arose, what do you think Captain?" 
Spock has also realized that if he asks for Jim's opinion on little things, even without a verbal response, it does help the man maintain his focus. Which is an improvement to last time. 

Jim turns his head slightly at the question, still not looking at Spock, or really at anything for that matter. 
"Indeed," Spock continues, still acting as if this is a completely normal conversation, because he is helping the Captain, which is completely logical because as Spock is in temporary command of the ship and helping the real Captain of the Enterprise back to health. "As I have come to inform you the crew has been working as smoothly as before, keeping up with efficient rates, Starfleet has been notified of the current condition of the mission and is pleased to have more information, although expressing displeasure at how the information was obtained." Spock keeps talking, assuming Jim will not respond. 
Jim in question just keeps staring off into space, but at least he is not showing any open signs of distress. That is a good start. 
"Alongside reports of possible shore leave being in the future, or at least wishes of shore leave among the crew." Spock says, before he stands up, knowing he has to cover his shift. 
"That is all the information that pertains at this very moment Captain, if required I will be sure to update on any changes." He says, before leaving med bay. Now Spock does in fact plan to speak with Jim again whether there are any noticeable changes or not, to keep the Captain in what Spock thinks by human terms are "good spirits". 

When Spock makes it back to the bridge, he sits down, intending on getting through his duities as fast as possible to make sure the Captain remains well. That's when Ensign Chekov approaches,
"How is the Captain?" he asks.
"He is stable, now please get back to your station Ensign." Mr. Spock simply replies, a voice in the back of his mind wishing not to discuss the Captain's state more than necessary. The ship continues to cruise smoothly, seemingly unaffected by everything that has happened recently. Everyone remains in their stations, planning on going to the decided meeting point by the Romulans to discuss peace, and not have a massive intergalactic war. Thankfully they have not run into any issues yet and do not plan to, for that would be most unsavory. 

They keep pushing through space, and Spock still has that odd feeling akin to guilt welling through him, even though it doesn't fully make sense where it came from. He did what he had to do, plain and simple, just when he gets to where the Romulans have decided their meeting point, he will have to explain exactly what happened, the first time around, and that is no something Spock really wishes to evaluate at the moment. Perhaps meditation later is the most useful idea to sort out his mental plane. 

----

That idea Spock does take up when his shift is over, sitting on the floor of his quarters, incense burning through the air. He attempts to focus all his willpower to the meditation, to calming himself, and figuring out what the issues that have been arising in his mental state are. Yet all he can think about is Jim. Jim being hurt, the condition that the crew found Jim in, Jim being rushed to med bay after the group got off the transporter pad, Jim not responding and seeming like a husk of himself, Jim, Jim, Jim. Spock blinks as he opens his eyes to his dim room. 
He should go check on Jim. 
That would be the most logical thing to do in this very moment, because what is a ship without its Captain? 

Chapter Text

The amount of days since the Enterprise left "The Pleasures of GALACTICA" have long since been counted as every member of the crew continues in worried anticipation for the meet with the Romulan representatives. It isn't the most official meeting of course, although Starfleet has been made aware lest anything go wrong. Jim has been getting a little bit better but is still mostly suffering from traumatic shock. Mr. Spock has tried his best to visit him, but duty has been taking up everyone's schedules. Jim of course seems to not know what is really going on, although Mr. Spock has made sure to keep him updated.
Even if the reasoning isn't the most logical...

When in the middle of this stressful time, Mr. Spock gets called to McCoy's office.

Now Spock is standing outside of Leonard's office, knowing he doesn't have a medical examination anytime soon. The lights overhead give a soft hum in an attempt to soothe any worried thoughts about Jim, not that Jim is all Spock can think about of course. He stands with his hands clasping behind his back, waiting. The door hisses open after what seems like an eternity. 
The first thing that Leonard says when the door hisses is simple: "Don't worry Jim is okay."
Spock releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He walks inside the room with Leonard, sitting down across from the other man. 
"What do you need doctor?" Spock starts as Leonard grabs a bottle of brandy. 
"I don't know how to help Jim." McCoy says simply, a feel of defeat in his voice. "I mean from a physical perspective, everything is fine, but mentally.." He sighs the pause saying all that really needs to be known, before taking a sip from his cup. Spock can only nod, agreeing with Leonard in the sense of helplessness. "It's just, god it's horrible to see him like this.." Now maybe Leonard has drank too much before the following lead in conversation pertained, or maybe it is the air of grief, perhaps the heavy subject matter that lead to the following interaction.

"The thing about Jim, now he is back aboard, but remember what happened the first time we came down there?" he starts.
How could Spock forget? The small memory that continues to gnaw at his mind? It may be illogical for a vulcan to focus so harshly on the past, but how can the first officer not? He should've left right then and there, it would have made everything easier. Then again with emotions all too human running through his mind, his judgement is a bit clouded. 
"Yes doctor." Spock says, more clipped than he intended. 
"What the hell happened to him down there," McCoy sighs, the thought more to himself as he pours himself another glass of the brandy, even though who knows how many times he has refilled the glass. 
"I do not know," Spock says.
"Of course you don't because you were the one who chose to leave, you were the one who chose for Jim to stay down there!" Leonard sneers, his tone biting. Now, vulcans do not feel emotions, simple, but maybe it was just the built up stress? Spock stands up, the chair clattering to the floor in a display of something akin to anger, something unnameable. 
"Have you only called me here to berate me doctor?" Spock snaps, his tone cold as he tries to regain his composure again. 
"Oh and now you show emotion!" McCoy replies mockingly, malice in his tone. "Guess your computer brain failed eventually huh, like the day you failed Jim!" 
"I do not wish to have this conversation anymore." Spock simply replies turning to leave. "Your drunk Leonard, I recommend you tend to that first."  
"Well it's your fault the Jim we know is gone!" Leonard calls back as the door shuts behind Spock. 

Duty is first before anything else, even before the simmer of guilt and questioning of oneself that are most uncalled for. Spock makes his way over to the bridge again, they are getting close to the schedules meeting place on a planet near the neutral zone, without being inside it. 
"How many minutes until we arrive?" Mr Spock asks, focusing on something important, not as a distraction from the fact that he is wondering how Jim is feeling. 
Even if the man can't really show much anymore. 
"We are roughly two hours away from the meeting zone," Mr. Sulu responds, focusing forward on the helm. Mr. Spock simply nods before sitting down, it will be a little bit before they approach the planet, but not too long. The bridge is quiet, if Jim were here he would be lighting up the place with a witty comment or two, or a new plan to be set into place, a diplomacy tactic, an idea, something, anything. 
Spock can't be of much help though, it's illogical to fill the bridge with useless noise. 
Then again at the time it seemed logical to leave "The pleasures of GALACTICA" the first time around. The hum of machinery, the beeping of monitors, and the clicking of buttons filling the space, grating on Spock's ears. His grip on the arm of the command chair tightens ever so slightly, not noticeable to anyone who wasn't searching specifically for any weakness. Yet a little voice in the back of Spock's mind felt the need to point it out, the signs of something so human, stress. 
It is illogical to feel stress over something that cannot be changed.
It is illogical to feel stress over something that cannot be changed.
It is illogical to feel stress over something that cannot be changed.
It is illogical to feel stress over something that cannot be changed.

Simple affirmations to keep his head clear, nothing more it seems. There needs to be peace between the Federation, and the Romulans or everything will just be worse.
Worse than Leonard hating him. 
Worse than Jim being in an incapacitated state. 
Worse than it all being Spock's fault. 

Well then again 'worse' is a vague and illogical word, to represent the situation better, perhaps just list the pros and cons. 

Chapter Text

The planet is a dusty, dry dessert type as Spock, a few security guards, and McCoy beam down. Leonard won't even look at Spock as they arrive at the surface of the planet.  Then again, Spock doesn't really feel like speaking with McCoy either. 

The Romulan chief they got in contact with earlier who demanded the meeting is standing nearby, speaking in hushed tones with the other members of his crew he brought down. The atmosphere of the planet feels hot and thick, weighing down on the team representatives of the Enterprise. 
"Commander," Mr. Spock calls to the Romulan leader, ready to execute this agreement as fast as possible, so nothing more has to be said. The leader steps towards Spock, his face scanning the group from the Enterprise. He looks Spock up and down, seemingly searching for someone else. The commander steps forward, only for most of the crew to back up. 

"Where's your Captain?" The Romulan leader plainly asks, glancing at Spock with displeasure. "You know, the one with the brownish blonde hair who always has to have some sort of moral backbone?" He looks at the group like they are stupid, and Spock only offers a blank slate of emotionlessness back. Now that doesn't mean that he's numb, it's a matter of restraint. 
"He is unable to attend," Spock says stiffly. Both parties go silent for a moment and Spock glances back up at where the USS Enterprise waits in orbit. Jim will be okay when Spock gets back, he will be alive. 
More than alive, Jim will be, well the man that Spock remembers, the man that Spock holds in such high regard, the Captain of the Enterprise, he will be alive again, and not just surviving. 

"We refuse to discuss any matters of peace if your Captain can't even give this issue his time," The Romulan commander sneers. 
"He's not medically fit, are you insane?" Leonard buds into the conversation. 
"Wasn't it under his command that you were breaching the neutral zone?" The commander prods. 
"No he was captured during a mission assigned by Starfleet," Spock starts, only to get cut off by Leonard.
"Yea, we weren't breaking your neutral zone," he continues. 
"That is not something for you to decide," The commander starts, "Until you can bring your Captain down here we refuse to have any more discussion, although we will make no direct attacks." 
"That's illogical, he cannot come down here at this moment," Spock says, trying to convince the Romulan of his point. What else is there really to do? This is intergalactic war that is being spoken about, something that hasn't happened with the Federation in seemingly so long, it's almost unheard of. 
"Then this debate will be postponed, because it is a large offense, not only to break the neutral zone, but to also be interfering with a planet on that zone, doesn't your federation have a non-interference policy?" The Romulan says. 
"It's a crime ring dammit, it breaks multiple intergalactic laws!" Leonard shouts back, as the groups attempts at diplomacy continue to unravel at a horrifyingly fast rate. 
"Laws are subjective," says the commander, "Come back with your Captain and then we may talk." 
"Wait-" Spock starts, but the Romulans have already beamed up. Well there goes that, their attempt at peace. Spock throws his hand to his side, as the landing party gets brought back to the ship. 

"Your approach in the discussion was illogical." Spock simply says to Leonard before walking off. The future suddenly doesn't seem so clear, not that it did when Jim first went missing. Spock's mind is trying to calculate the odds of a war happening as he drags himself to his quarters, Jim shouldn't know of his failure, of what might happen next. The doors hiss open as Spock pushes himself inside, he needs to try to meditate again, to clear his mind, anything. 
Yet all he can think of, is a memory..

"You know Spock, sometimes I worry about the future, and if this diplomacy stuff really works. You know it seems humanity has come so far, but stuff like Taurus IV still happened, what's really stopping it from happening again?" Jim asked, his eyes shinny with tears against the dimmed light of the mess hall, his hands rested against the table. The mess hall was completely empty now, besides the occasional crew member getting coffee in between shifts.
"I am unsure Captain," Spock responded, was that really all he had to say? All he was really able to come up with? Jim's face sunk ever so slightly, "-But there are other ways to prevent these issues, as humans say." Jim's head was leaning against his hand as he gazed at Spock. 
"I know, I just haven't been able to sleep recently, it's probably the anniversary of something I would rather forget,"  Kirk sighs, he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. 
"I don't see how an anniversary would pertain to your emotional state," Spock responded, unknowing of what to say. 
"Of course you don't" Jim sighs, the intent of his words was not to be demeaning, but it gave Spock a minor emotional response. Silence shrouded the two men in the mess hall, neither of them knowing what to say, but it wasn't a suppressive silence, although not cared for it wasn't grating. 
It was almost comfortable. 

Unlike the silence of Spock's quarters as he leans against the wall, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Why can't he just focus, if he was a normal vulcan, a real vulcan, he would attack the idea of an intergalactic war logically and figure out the best way to avoid it.
-Yet all he is doing right now is being unable to meditate, and wasting time. What would happen if a war did break out? Where would Jim go? Would Jim survive? 
What use will these thoughts bring? Spock is in command now, and he needs to act like it.
He will protect Jim, no matter what it takes. 

Chapter Text

Spock lingers around med bay, the Romulans wanted to see the Captain, and now the crew has hit a roadblock. McCoy still won't speak with him, and Spock feels his nerves beginning to fray. The door hisses open, and Spock lets himself in. 

The stale white of the med bay makes the room seem larger than it is, colder. Spock's eyes scan the base, as he walks through slowly. He really shouldn't be taking up space in med bay for people who need it, but Jim needs him, or at least Spock hopes the other man does. He slinks past Nurse Chapel, who must be on the verge of getting used to his visits, doesn't even ask if he needs anything, although he thinks he hasn't been that frequent. 

Jim is laying down in bed, he is awake though, then again what is really the difference? Well Spock will be there either way, unable to let go of a man he once knew, one that is basically rotting in his own skin. With tensions already being high with the Romulans, Spock will admit his thoughts have gotten a bit bitter, no matter how illogical that may be. He sits beside Jim, just like last time, and every time that will hopefully come. Mr. Spock can't think of anything to say, normally it's because what is there to say; when everyone is already aware of the situation at hand? Kirk is fiddling with his hands and the scraps of his shirt that he still hasn't given up on, peacefully oblivious as to what may happen, the cusp of something worse, or at least Spock thinks he is. The duo sits in silence, so many words suffocating in Spock's throat. 
To boldly go where no man has gone before. 

To go where, to intergalactic disputes and diplomacy issues? What if there is nowhere to go? Now vulcans don't feel anxiety, so neither does Spock, it's just a sense of uncertainty of what to do next, something Jim would've solved already. While Spock is trying to figure out how to fix anything and everything, Jim stares at him, with eyes clearer and more focused than they have been in a while. Instead of staring past at something unattainable, they have a focal point now, Spock is the center of Jim's gaze. 
If only Spock is there to notice. 

Spock stares at the back wall, the Romulans have to be appeased somehow, maybe another meeting is in order? Communications will be required to make this work, they want to see the Captain though. Spock will have to figure out some sort of arrangement. He's in command, at least for the near future, and he will make sure that peace remains, then he can help Kirk more. Spock knows that Jim is in no state to meet at any debate, the most logical thing would to have the man relieved of his duties if things get any worse. Then Jim would be safe, and he would no longer be in harms way. 
Spock will ensure it. 

Then Leonard enters the room, checking the Captain's charts. Jim's gaze focuses on McCoy, nothing about his face changes, but he is watching. 
"What are you doing here, shouldn't you be doing something actually useful you hobgoblin?" Bones sighs. Spock stands up slowly from the chair as Jim's focus switches to the vulcan again. 
"I am simply checking on Jim," Spock begins.
"Oh trying to fix, what you broke?" Bones snaps. 

Jim's eyes widen, what is going on? He, He isn't broken, right? Why are his friends fighting? 
"At least I am trying to fix my mistakes doctor, instead of going at other people." Spock adds.
"Oh please, as if you've never gone at someone else, if I remember correctly-" Bone sneers. 
"That's enough doctor." Spock says, cutting Leonard off. 
"It's your fault that Jim now has the conciseness of a sack of potatoes!" McCoy shouts. Then Jim's vision gets blurry, what happened while he was gone? It's all his fault, really, he was the one who sacrificed himself, but a Captain's duty is to keep the other crew members safe, even at the expense of himself. 

Spock goes eerily silent after the comment, staring blankly at the doctor. His hands are resting behind his back, as stiff as stone. 
"Now you have nothing to say? That's what I thought, now get out!" Bones snaps, "Unless you are dying at my doorstep, don't come back! Your wasting everyone's time!" 
"As if you are being extremely attentive in the Captain's mental wellbeing," Spock snaps before leaving. 

Now Jim hasn't noticed he had been sobbing until Bones turned to look at him with concern. Jim wants to scold both of his closest friends for arguing, to fix whatever dispute happened between them, but he finds.
He can't speak. 
Not that something is wrong with him medically, his vocal chords should be fine, he didn't scream in his cell, he was quite quiet, really. 
"Jim, hey it will be alright," McCoy starts, a valiant effort, but the doctor still talks like Jim isn't fully there. The Captain nods, wiping his tears off.  He runs his hands on the blanket in his lap, as Bones leaves as if suddenly Jim is okay again. In reality, Leonard can't stand to be there any longer, seeing one of his closest friends in such a state, but Jim doesn't know that. 

It's almost like Jim is a ghost on his own ship, and maybe that is true, maybe he did die in that grimy cell he would rather forget? He stares back at his hands, he must fix this, one way or another. Where did it all go wrong, what did he do wrong? He attempts to slow his breathing, at least to a small extent. He can feel his heart in his chest, pounding like it always has, whoose to say though, that Jim is really a man.
That he's not just a husk of a body waiting to be used up. 

Chapter Text

He hadn't felt this hungry since Taurus.
His arms were wrapped around his torso, fingers strumming against his ribs. He wasn't going to give in, he was more willing to die than give in. He was not some pony for his captors to parade whenever they wished, no matter the consequences. His eyes glared out of the cell, barely visible through the occasional light that bent into the glass. He was just going to have to survive a little bit longer, then again how long had he been in here? Notches on the wall indicated the days back when Jim used to count them before he had lost track. They add up to roughly thirty marks, back when it was only his first month in this place. Jim glances at them for a moment, before quickly switching back to the door to his cell. There are dents on the metal door back when Jim had tried to escape. He tried to kick it down, only to end it with a hurt foot, and one of his captors entering the room. He refused to move from the far corner of the room after that. The glass always showed too much, no matter where he moved, no matter where he hid, he could always be seen, so he crouched himself in the far corner, in a futile attempt to hide. 

When footsteps sounded in the hallway, Kirk forced himself to remain in high alert. Maybe it was the way his heart picked up speed, or his blood ran cold at even the idea of the door opening. He wasn't able to let his guard down though, even if it was going to exhaust him to his death. Shivers went down his spine, and his head felt like it was spinning, but that was just another feeling recently. The ache in his bones that hadn't gone away after sleeping, the scratchiness of his throat that didn't fade after drinking water. -Well more like his own spit, they weren't exactly the nicest to their prisoners. He remained curled up in the corner, trying to stay warm-ish.

Then the door opened, it started as just a crack before it fully swung open. A woman hanging off he husband went in, studying Kirk like he was a bug. 
"He might be interesting, I'm not sure though,"  the wife said. 
"Shall we continue looking? Only the best for my wife," The husband replied.
J im was just glad they were leaving, the ones that stayed longer were worse. He didn't have the energy to give any thoughts to all the morality issues of selling other species into slavery, when he was going to escape, he planned to liberate the victims in his stride. He was going to make sure that no one was ever going to hurt in the way he was. 
That was all he could promise himself in that moment. 

So much for that, he never escaped, his fever got worse until he gave in, and hoped for rescue. People rush around sick bay, entirely ignoring him. Jim remembers how he sat in his cell like a rock near the end of his detainment. 
What a great Captain he is. Nonetheless it is probably better to focus on the present, where Jim still can't leave his bed, and everyone is walking around on eggshells with him. He still can't open his mouth to speak, to tell Bones and Spock to stop fighting, to take command of his ship as the rightful Captain. He just needs to speak, to command, to order.. 

He couldn't speak, the room was silent. He used to argue with whoever entered his cell, shout at them, maybe some harsh banter, but the words didn't even bother coming out anymore. He had learned from the last few times that it was easier to keep his mouth shut. He kept his hand pressed against the cool concrete wall to in a failed attempt to ground himself. He was going to be alone for a while, that was set in stone. He stared at his boots, the damage to the material becoming more noticeable. It's not like he was ever perfect about his appearance, but the scratches were becoming more noticeable. Thankfully no one had entered the room yet, he was safe for a bit. He scanned the cell.
He wondered what Spock was doing. If he was working to find Jim, he was worried.
Well probably not worried. 
It was a nice thought though. 

Dust began to collect around the room, it was only occasionally broken by the rare visitor. Thankfully less people have been trying to entice him into coming with them. Then again, it took too many tries for people to leave him alone. Too many times where Jim hoped that when he passed out he would never wake up. The hunger still got to him, but after a while he was able to somewhat bear it. It did deplete his energy use though. He was going to survive this, or at least he hoped. 
He hoped that Spock was going to see him again, and not as a corpse. 

----

"Mr. Spock, Starfleet says that there have been reports of Klingon warships dangerously near federation planets. They want us to check it out." Lieutenant Uhura says, breaking the silence of the bridge. Mr Spock walks over to where Uhura is stationed. 
"Which federation planet requires our assistance?" Spock asks, wondering how logically the U.S.S Enterprise would be able to visit them all in a timely manner. 
"Its near the-" Then Uhura is cut off as the ship violently jolts to the left, out of seemingly nowhere. Uhura almost falls from her chair as Spock grips on of the handrails to keep himself steady. 
"What was that?" Sulu asks, getting back on his chair. Mr. Spock snaps into command, and the sensors in the Enterprise's general area are checked. In hopes that whatever caused the disruption could be found.
No ships were read, but is that really true?

Chapter Text

The ship settles for a moment, and Spock is ready to find the planet they need to find to get this over with.
Then the ship turns again, the lights begin to flicker, as Spock orders the shields to quickly get put up. The phaser hit the front of the ship, leaving it damaged, but not compromised. There is a nasty repair that needs to happen though, lest the ship get even worse. 
It seems they are being fought by an invisible enemy, as hard to believe as that seems. 

The ship has been turned to red alert as alarms begin to blare. No one knows where the attack is coming from, but they all intend to find out. 
"Ensign Chekov are there any signs of an approaching ship?" 
Chekov who is stationed at the sensors in Mr. Spock's absence shakes his head.
"No sir, not yet," he replies. Nothing, who would've thought there would be nothing? It makes no sense, plain and simple. Everyone remains tense at best, lieutenant Uhura checks communication signals to see if there is anyway to speak with this mysterious aggressor. Everyone is waiting for the next hit, the next blow to the ship, that will take them all down.
Well if they are all going down, it won't be without a fight.

Thankfully they aren't there yet. Mr. Sulu although has one hand stationed on the buttons to activate the phasers. Uhura is still checking different channels just to be sure that no peacekeeping could be enacted, no final words could be exchanged. Chekov is still checking to see where the attacking ship might hypothetically be. Mr. Spock is staring out to the black emptiness of space, where the offender spaceship should be. All are tied by one thing, a simple chance, a command to attack. 
To find the offending ship, and finish the job. 

If the Captain were here, maybe this would be sorted. Then again what can really be said, Mr. Spock knows he can't change the past, he can't fix what has happened. He's the reason that everyone is in this situation in the first place. 
If only the Captain could be here. 

Well, the Captain is here, Jim can hear the alarms, he can see the subtle panic on his crew's faces as they race to their battle stations. He just can't do anything about it. He is stuck, as he has been for seemingly forever. He was never truly free when he left that cell was he? The humming of the lights in med bay and the stale blanket over his lap are a golden cage, that's all. He felt the ship rumble, he knew they had been hit. His crew is in danger, but by what? Jim clutches the sides of his bed, lives are at stake, and if anyone dies it will be his fault. He begins to push himself up, he can hear their screams now, a prophecy for the future.
The blood that will be on the hands of a Captain who was once called one of the most capable in Starfleet..

He almost stands, he will be there soon. The alarm keeps blaring, red alert obviously hasn't been lifted. It's all Kirk can hear, worming its way into his ears. He can get there, he is almost there. Just a little bit closer, so he can save everyone. No one has to die today, no one will die today. 

There is only silence on the bridge. 

Everyone expects another phaser strike after the first, why not continue the job?

A battle, a way out that would need to be boldly found through a fight. 

 Lives lost, people mourning, heroes boldly remembered in Starfleet records forever. 

Red alert continued until Mr. Spock shut it off after a few more minutes. The glaring quiet is deafening. No bravery like everyone had assumed, no reason to fear for the worst. 
For there is no second shot. 
Just as spontaneously the attack came, it left without another word. Lieutenant Uhura stares out to where the other ship should hypothetically be. Then again who isn't..
Well except for Jim, who is at this very moment being dragged back to sick bay, and put back in his bed. All while being claimed that he's delusional. 
His crew were in danger, what was he supposed to do? Now Jim is curling up on his bed, glaring at the floor like a child. He still can't speak, and has felt horrible. It's almost like he's a dog, a dog that should've just been put down already. What use is he if he can't protect his crew? 

Spock on the other hand is planning to update Jim on what happened the moment he's free. Although seeing how illogical it sounds that the mysterious enemy just disappeared into the thin layers of the galaxy. He can run the numbers on that later, right now he wants to see Jim. 
Even if he knows Jim won't probably even understand what he's saying. Mr. Spock sees how it is useful that all casualties have been avoided. With that he sits at the bridge, waiting desperately for his shift to end. He wonders of this entire on off stressed out Jim, or if the human is still thinking about it? 

Now where is McCoy in all of this, what does Leonard think? What does the man who had to wrangle Jim back into his bed, what does the man who is seeing one of his closest friends crumble before his eyes think with no way to stop it think? Leonard at least for now is trying to distract himself, but there only seems to be one solution at hand. A solution the man doesn't even want to acknowledge. 
But Jim shouldn't be on a starship, definitely in such a state. Mr. Spock might not take it well, but if that vulcan is as logical as he claims he is, Spock will understand. 
It is the only way to go forward, at least for now. 
For Jim. 

Chapter Text

Mr. Spock had made sure to report to Starfleet about the incident, before ending his shift. He walks through the halls, although hints of tension are still in the air, as if all the oxygen has been sucked through the ship via airlock. 
Everyone is thinking about what could've happened, what could've gone wrong. 
What was barely avoided.

Jim is hopefully oblivious to it all, at least that's what Spock wishes. The Captain shouldn't have to suffer anymore. 

Jim had tried to reach forward as nurses grabbed him. Tears streamed from his eyes at the idea that his crew needed him, and he wasn't there. He opened his mouth to speak, but still nothing came out. What was going to become of Spock if he wasn't there, if Kirk couldn't save him? Jim was able to see it then. The remains of the bridge with Spock's lifeless body on the floor, green blood circling his head like a halo. Lieutenant Uhura, leaned over the communications panel, lifeless, her attempts at speaking with the mysterious attacker failed. Chekov and Sulu's bodies could've been found draped off their chairs, the life sucked away. Jim would've seen it, the only one left alive on the bridge. 
He was going to hear their screams, their begs for some scrap of help, and do nothing. Just as he did in that cell he escaped only a bit before. 
So to prevent that in anyway he thought possible he grabbed at the walls, cries dying in his throat. To prevent seeing such horrible things, that he thought would happen. His face was a mess, as arms kept grabbing him. Beside the unpleasant memories such touch brought up, it was also preventing him from fixing things. It felt like Jim's skin was crawling with each new attempt to pull him back. His heart thudded in his ears as a last plea, as a last hope. He kept trying to wrangle free, but in the end it was fruitless, he didn't escape. He was placed back in med bay, with no idea of what was to happen next, with no one to tell him anything.
No one to tell him that everything was going to be okay. 

He sat in his bed again, watching the alarm blare again as he wiped his tears on his arm, all he could do was wait. 
And all for what?
To worry about nothing?  

Spock enters the room slowly, his hands folded neatly behind his back. He steps in, the ground feeling stable underneath his feet, although the group may have to visit a star base soon for repairs on the ship, to keep it in top working order. The vulcan walks in, his composure in place, he greets Nurse Chapel before walking off to go meet Jim again. The sound of his footsteps pierce the quiet in Jim's head, the man turns to look over as Spock enters the room. The Captain could almost smile, seeing that not only is his first officer surviving and breathing, but came to visit him. Even when duty didn't call for it. Jim's worst fears are quelled for a moment, the idea of Spock dying fade out as the vulcan steps further into the room. 
"Greetings Captain," He says as he sits by Jim's bed. "You will be pleased to be informed that the red alert was illogically called, therefore not required." 
Now Jim wants to ask, what the hell happened, but no words come out. This leaves him with his mouth slightly open, not saying anything; looking stupid. Then again who doesn't see him as stupid anymore? 
"It has all been sorted Captain, do not trouble yourself with any extra affairs." Spock continues, at the sight of Jim's state. Now the other man wishes to scream at Mr. Spock, tell the vulcan to let him help, to let him be useful, to beg even. He just doesn't want to be stuck in this horrible med bay anymore, it's dehumanizing. 

Bones enters the room after a few seconds of silence, walking over to the duo. 
"Spock can I talk to you privately?" Leonard asks, although not happy to be speaking with the first officer, at least the silence between the two has finally been broken. Spock looks at Jim before begrudgingly standing, not like he has much of another choice. He may not be the closest friends with McCoy anymore, but it could be important. They walk away and Jim watches Spock leave, sadness pumping through his blood as he is left alone.
Again. 

Spock shuts the door behind the two of them as they enter McCoy's office. With that the doctor sits down, and Spock sits across from him.
"Look, we've been bickering, I know," Leonard starts, "-But I need to be honest, I don't think Jim can be on the ship anymore. Honorably discharged maybe, but he can't stay here for his own safety, especially with all the drama about the Romulans, and truly with what happened today. It's just too dangerous.." Now, Spock knows he should listen to such sound logic, it makes sense for Jim to be protected, but something deeper, a remain of human emotion snarls. Jim can't leave, he just can't! What will be the bright point in Spock's day if Jim is gone? 
After all Spock never thought he looked good in gold. 
"-Alright so the plan I have thought up is to go check out the planet that Starfleet wants us to see before dropping Jim off." Leonard says. Spock can only nod, because what more is there to really say? McCoy is logically right, and Spock can't argue with logic. 

Because to betray logic, is to betray himself. 
But to betray that man in the hospital bed...

With that Spock simply left, with a need to meditate on this topic for a while. He can figure out the best solution there, rather than letting anything cloud his judgement. Spock will figure out the best solution, even if it is at his own expense. 

Chapter Text

The Enterprise continues on it's course to the planet, most of the crew has eased up slightly over the course of a few days, except for a select few. 

McCoy is watching over Jim, a sense of anguish brewing in the doctor's stomach. It is about what's best for Jim, he can't stay on the ship anymore. Leonard can keep clinging to the past, to the Captain that was lively, that had a spark. He can keep running from the truth before he's completely out of breath. He can't deny it anymore though, that Captain existed before Mr. Spock made that stupid call for the crew to leave. It was either that or the Romulans were going to fight against the ship. 
Leonard tried to understand, he really did, but when he saw Jim in that cell. 
That wasn't his Captain.

He didn't want to believe it, after everything that had happened, it was only six months. McCoy pounded on the glass in an attempt to get a reaction from Jim. A glance, a word, anything. Any sign that the Jim Leonard was so found of still existed. He kept pounding, and began scrambling for his phaser. Something was wrong, so wrong, the fact that Jim hadn't even acknowledged Leonard made everything seem more wrong. 
"Jim.."  the doctor whispered, a prayer to himself that his friend was still down there, underneath all those old wounds.

That prayer was only whispered when the group made it to sick bay. When Bones stood over an unresponsive Kirk, watching the spirit fade from his eyes. To tend to every wound that Leonard wished he never had to see again, such damage so hard to comprehend it made the doctor's hands shake as he tended to the injuries.The man was alive, but not living, and with each piece of Jim that was lost, Leonard felt a bit of himself slip away too. It was sad really, feeling more hollow than he ever did, but what was he to do? 
What was even left? 
What was even left of the talks that they used to have, where time suddenly didn't exist?
What was even left of  the jokes that they used to spring on each other? 
What was left of them? 

What other choice could McCoy make, Jim would be safe, no matter how much he hated the thought. His friend is rotting in front of him, he should at least spend the rest of his years in peace. To be cared for by a staff that can. 
Because for once, Leonard isn't enough. 
What more is to be said. 

So thus he has to give one of his closest friends the last gift he can give, the chance to survive without constant fear. That should be enough right? It doesn't feel like enough, in any way shape or form, but it's all McCoy is able to do, so there's not really many options. It has to be okay though, it has to be the right decision, no matter how much it makes his stomach twist. 

Spock on the other hand is closely watching over as the Enterprise makes it's way over to the assigned planet, and the earth colony with it. On the topic of what to do with Jim, the doctor is right, because of course he is. Spock can't really understand why it messes with him so much, perhaps it is the fact that this might be the last time Spock ever shares the Enterprise with Jim. It might be the last time Spock ever sees Jim at all. 
That really shouldn't affect him so much, it's not like Jim is his mate or anything.
So it shouldn't matter. 

Sure his side twists at the thought, of never seeing Jim again, but Spock has a duty to fulfill no matter what happens next. So on the bridge Mr. Spock watches, watches as the ship gets closer and closer to the colony they need to find. The members of the crew working faster and harder to continue on. Everyone is working fine, and Spock refuses to be the weak link in the issue, he refuses to be the reason that everyone else falls. So he won't be. 
Jim will be alright, and he will be safe. 
Then again how long can he repeat the same words to himself before he can't attempt to believe it anymore? 
It's not about that though, it's about what is right, not what Spock wants. 

"Ensign Chekov, in what estimated time allotment shall we arrive at the required colony?" Mr. Spock asks.
"Only a few more minutes," Chekov responds, as the ship continues on course. 
Only a few more minutes until all this trouble with the Romulans is sorted.
Only a few more minutes until Spock has to say goodbye to Jim...for possibly forever. 
That is fine. That is what must happen.
No matter what Spock thinks. 

"You know Spock," Jim started the meals the duo were eating left long abandoned. "I know it's physically impossible, but imagine if I commanded the Enterprise forever, do you think I would get sick of it?" 
"I cannot estimate for yourself Captain, but If I understand human nature, perhaps you would succumb to boredom?" Spock replied, watching Jim closely, there wasn't a huge sense of adoration in his gaze, but just slightly more than normal. 
"That's the thing Spock, you are right, I would get bored, but then again if I had you with me, I feel like I could last longer without. You know, getting bored. Also my work can be boring, but I still work through it." Jim rambled. Spock was silent, the Captain wished that if he had to work on the Enterprise forever, that Spock would be right by his side. If Spock was human, he would've found it almost flattering. "I don't know if you would be able to put up with me forever though," Jim laughed, as if the comment was in any way funny to Spock. 
Spock was willing to sail the stars forever if that meant Jim was right by his side. 

Chapter Text

The landing party beams down with whispers of Klingons coming closer to federation planets, the group didn't know what to expect. Spock leads the group into the compound where the earth colony resides. 
Only to see the occupants being corralled around by Klingon authorities, which is a bit disheartening at best. Spock finds him and the rest of the landing party hiding away from the Klingons as a plan attempts to form. 
The question of how to fix a problem they didn't even know appeared? Would attacking it head on be too risky, or just the right thing to do? All these questions fall onto Spock, the only one in command now. 

This leads the group to confront the Klingons, because hopefully a conversation can be had before things get worse, however McCoy and a security guard stay hidden from view. Spock comes over to the Klingon general that seems to be leading the takeover. 
"Ah yes, the federation scum," The general says, which is a great start to the negotiations. 
"The Untied Federation of Planets requests you abandon your endeavors involving this colony immediately." Spock begins, getting straight to the point. 
"Or what? What can the Starfleet do when they started it?" The general adds, a sneer on his face. 
"Who, as you say: started it, is not the concern, when your army is violating a variety of treaties set into place before the altercation at the edge of the Romulan neutral zone." Spock debates, the words hanging in the air lifelessly. 
"You can't stop us, unless you are ready to fight!" The general persists, unwavering by any other arguments. Spock opens his mouth to continue negotiations, before the beam of a phaser just barely misses his body. 
Now what would be most logical?
Keep attempting to speak with an angry warlord who has begun to attack you and your crew, or run?

Now Spock is trying to calculate a new plan, hiding behind a wall as the smoke from phasers clouds the air. McCoy is next to him, unsure of what to do next. It's an unfair fight at best though, there are roughly 70.5638% more Klingons on the planet than Starfleet members. Now the only reason that the landing party has not beamed up by now is by the grace of one message from the other side on the Enterprise. A message that may as well be their deathbed. 
They couldn't be beamed up.

The Enterprise is already occupied at this moment fighting off a Klingon warship, with messages of more arriving the longer the Enterprise keeps fighting. This situation is almost eerily similar to the first time they entered "The Pleasures of GALACTICA", when it was either the crew, or the ship. At least Jim isn't involved this time around. 

The phasers keep firing in the general direction of the landing party, but it will only be so long before the Klingons switch tactics. This stalemate won't last forever, all that is needed is one event, no matter how small to break the tension. 

The blood curdling screech of a colony member, and the thud of a body became that event. McCoy peaks out from the wall turning rubble that the group is hiding behind. The Klingons have began to round up the residents in the federation compound, and killing them in an attempt...even Spock can't guess what they are doing. 
"Shouldn't we go out there, god only knows how many people those barbarians will kill before we get to them?" Leonard mutters under his breath, disgust staining his tone. Before any of the members can leave their hiding spot, out of the corner of Spock's eye, theres Jim. 

Jim, protecting residents from the senseless murder. Jim, hiding them away. Jim, being spotted only to sprint out of sight. With that Spock chases after Jim, not out of fear for Jim dying, no of course not. It's logical to protect the Captain, or ex-Captain from harm, simple. So when Spock almost gets shot by the duo's Klingon purser, it is solely out of duty. McCoy notices Spock run off, but doesn't see Kirk. The doctor begins to slink around, perhaps in an attempt to tend to some of the wounded bodies. 

The chase continues with Spock slinking through phaser fire, and fallen rubble from damage. While Jim keeps running, unaware that Spock is behind him. The Klingon sprinting after them keeps their eyes focused on Jim rather than Spock, seeing the vulcan as more of an obstacle. 
"Captain," Spock calls out, only for those attempts to fall on deaf ears. 

McCoy on the other hand discreetly finds the dying bodies of different colony members, he begins to do what he can to keep them alive. With each success there seems to be two harsher failures. The odds are not in the doctor's favor, but it's his duty to keep trying. No matter how much it hurts to see life fade from set after set of eyes. He begins to walk to the next victim, hiding behind buildings that may have once been considered houses. He keeps to the shadows of the planet, the question of 'where did it all go wrong' ringing in his head. Leonard also wishes he is back on the ship, helping up there too, hopefully the nurses aren't too overrun. Then again the idea that no deaths have happened is a stupid dream at best, it was probably already disproven within the first few minutes of the attack. As Leonard continues, the sound of a building collapsing is heard following screams. The doctor's head turns like that, and begins to make his way over. 

The Klingon had shot one of the supporting pillars that Jim and Spock were being chased under. It's not like the duo's purser could have caught them in a convenient amount of time, nonetheless had the situation been less grim this would have been a smart plan. 
Had the Klingons been on the right side of history. 
McCoy can only hope that Jim is alive on the ship, as the line of command begins to run dry. 

When the doctor makes his way over there, he locks eyes with the Klingon who is walking away. Now sure, Leonard and Spock have had some pretty bad disputes over these last few weeks - months even - but it cannot be ignored how Leonard's hands shake with every piece of rock and building he lifts up, with every attempt to save the vulcan he once pushed all the blame for the situation at "The Pleasures of GALACTICA" when in reality, it was at least partially the doctor's fault. He couldn't fix Jim, nor find him the first time around. He was the one who chose to search for the Captain after all.  Now he has to find Spock just hopefully not..
Spock's corpse. 

Chapter Text

How it happened, well that was more of a blur. 
In the end though, Spock finds himself on the brink of his own mind-scape; a mess of swirling blues and greens shifting into each other. Spock floats slightly in the madness, then again it's not like gravity really exists in the subconscious mind. The Vulcan lets himself be cradled by the silence of his own mind, a mist settling over the scene. He pushes himself forward slightly, within his own mind it is calmer than he originally thought. Like ocean waves coming to rest after a large storm, the aftershocks never coming.
But maybe that's because he's not entirely alone..

It's a slight hum in the edge of Spock's mind, a tickling sensation that is barely there unless focused on. It is a steady feeling, unwavering in it's message; whatever that may be. Spock begins to push himself forward, his body feeling weightless. He kicks his feet behind him like he's swimming his arms grappling forward. He cannot define where the hum's origin lies, except it is a small sound, that he might be able to pick out in a moment. He continues forward in a direction that he doesn't even know is the right one. 
Although for the first time in a while, he feels like he has time to figure it out. 

With each glide against nothingness that Spock goes through, the hum gets slightly louder, like the sound of rain just slowly starting to sprinkle down on hot pavement. Spock leans into the noise, the sensation being quite satisfying. He almost reaches to the idea that someone else is in here with him, but who? Does it really matter in this moment? The Vulcan keeps floating aimlessly in what seems like a mental abyss of light blue and green, graced by a non-existent sun.
Then the presence gets louder, shifting from a soft hum into an incessant buzzing. There is the slight feeling of a light breeze on Spock's arms, the only sign of resistance against him. The fact that there is even a small amount of pushback is a bit odd, considering that a mind should not have the same barriers as the physical realm. Nonetheless the buzz keeps beckoning Spock forward, and thus he follows. With each stride of undetermined length forward, the wind pushing against the Vulcan gets ever so slightly stronger, but still not enough to deter him. His hair begins to get ruffled slightly, and on the edge of his mind-scape he sees the colors begin to change. 

Although Spock's sea of blues and greens is still there, it begins to shift to a dirtied gold color, mixing with a deep auburn.  The Vulcan squints slightly as he gets closer, a few hints at who it could be flying past him like starships on warp nine. The feeling is only cemented when Spock feels his heart beat ever so slightly faster. The wind begins to pick up to becoming faster, and faster, like a never ending whirlpool that Spock happens to be in the middle of. Yet, he keeps going, he doesn't know why he continues on, it would be so easy to stop. 
To stop would be to betray himself. 

Then he gets there, the sound on the other side growing louder and louder, like a hunk of scrap metal in a garbage disposal. When Spock reaches forward the last time, the weight of the air against him beginning to drag the Vulcan down. His hand hits a wall. 
It almost feels like it's made of jelly, a clear wall where Spock can peak to the other side. 

And on the other side is a man wearing a tattered yellow uniform, a man glaring down at the floor in defeat, a man whose sniffling makes it feel like someone is crushing Spock's heart. 
Jim. Spock's Captain. 

"Captain," Spock starts, his voice almost level, with a small shake reverberating through the word. He rests his hand on the invisible wall, separating him from Jim. The man on the other side bears no response, just some more sniffling.
Because Jim can't hear him. Jim can't hear Spock...
"Captain," Spock tries again, pushing against the barrier. The situation feeling eerily similar to when Spock found Jim before all this war madness. Were they always destined to find each other, so close yet so far? 
"Captain." Spock says again, his voice becoming less steady by the moment, an embarrassing human display. Then again in the perspective of a human outsider, Spock does seem perfectly calm. 
"Captain..." Spock continues, pushing against the wall. Jim still doesn't move, as if he's a wax statue, slowly melting away before the Vulcan's eyes. Until there is nothing left.
"Captain!" It escapes Spock's mouth, a shout, a plea, a desperate beg, that the man who was once such a close confide for the First Officer still existed. 

Then the proof slowly begins to come to life as Jim turns to look at Spock. The duo's eyes lock on each other as Jim begins to step forward. With that..
the wall bursts open.

In one fluid motion the restraints of the barrier crash down, a large gust of wind pushes Spock back as loud clamorous sound breaks out. Not even a specific noise, just sound. Yet, Jim follows Spock, the two of them are very close together now, in all the chaos around the duo, soon greens and blues merge with gold like spilling paint. A mixing, muddling color of earthy green like the color that Jim's other set of tunics are, or when blush dabbles on Spock's cheeks. Jim doesn't say anything, neither does Spock for a long while. The sound around them thundering on like a repetitive drum, they both could very easily get lost in it..
If they didn't have each other. 

If Jim wasn't the light in Spock's darkness, the cheery thought of a happy ending when everything was logically hopeless, when there was no percentage of logical survival. Jim is the illogical madness that gets them through. 
If Spock wasn't the calm in Jim's madness, the always present logic to still the worries that spring out of order, when there was no emotional comfort except the facts presented. Spock is the fact check Jim needs. 

They require each other, that fact seemingly only revealing itself on the edge of death. 
In a mind meld that should have logically never happened. 

Chapter Text

Leonard tore at the rubble for what felt like forever, the Klingons had finally abandoned the colony and the doctor's hands were left bleeding. He glares down at the dirt staining his uniform pants. The cuts keep rushing freely, blood staining the sand as he stares at the two figures in the rubble, their bodies intertwined, almost like two lovers. 

Turns out Spock isn't the only one who almost died. Now the Doctor has been trying, very hard to cut Jim some slack since the event of the attack before they arrived at the colony. After all the man basically is incapacitated. This cannot be forgiven and forgotten although, not only did Jim sneak down during a literal life or death battle, he also put Spock in danger. Then again, how would Jim have made it down, if not without Spock's help? 
Personnel feelings be damned, Kirk needs to be relieved of his duties, now. 
And something needs to be done about Spock. 

When the group got back to the ship, McCoy was on the edge of fuming, not to mention that he still is. He slams his way through med bay with Spock and Jim following at his heels. 
"WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING?!" He shouts, the group has made it back to sickbay, with Kirk being checked over. "YOU KNOW SPOCK, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD JUST DRAG KIRK DOWN WITH YOU, DAMN IT I THOUGHT YOU RAN ON LOGIC!" McCoy continues yelling his head off as he checks the duo for injuries. 
"I do doctor, I am unaware of how The Captain managed to follow us." Spock says sharply. There's that phrase again 'The Captain' Jim is getting quite sick of it, even if no one can know. It's such a distant name with no real standing acknowledgment in Jim himself. Like being the Starship Captain- the title is all Jim is now, but even that is slipping through his fingers. 

"I call you Captain because it shows respect in human cultures..." 

The thought pops in Jim's mind almost as quickly as it vanishes, seemingly nothing more, nothing less. He glances over at Spock, who is standing as stoically as ever, but something small has changed between the two of them, a new understanding. Like a wire now connects the two of them, a new form of communication not possible before. 
Now Spock on the other hand is also thinking about this mind meld, and to hear Jim's thoughts is definitely an experience..  Rattling the Vulcan with something new, a new bitter taste in the back of his mind. It's stupid, emotions are a human thing, but hearing:

"What does Spock even see of me now? What does my crew even think of me now? Nothing more than a permanently sick freeloader? But what will happen if I am forced to leave Starfleet? What am I now?"  

All these questions that Mr. Spock can't even begin to comprehend much less unpack, a disorganized tangle of thoughts and questions that the Vulcan is too scared to look through. How could he be so blind, of course his Captain wasn't completely oblivious while incapacitated, of course Jim was still awake. And Spock had hurt him more by assuming he wasn't.  With hands clasping neatly behind Spock's back as Leonard continues his rambling, it's a form of conservation, to keep a sense of knowing in the unknown, bravery in the pure terror surrounding the duo, a semblance of peace. 

While Jim is bandaged up through McCoy's haze of cursing, the doctor looks up at Spock.
"Leave the room Spock. Just leave. I don't want to hear about how it was logical to bring Jim down, some things need to just be let go." 

"Let go? What does he mean let go? No, I can still be Captain, right?" 

Jim's thought stabs Spock quickly, as sharp and hot as a knife. Spock forces himself to leave the med bay, to continue on, to check on everyone else. 

"I can still be Captain.. they can't just abandon me.. they can't! It would be mutiny! Insubordination? Something? Anything!"  

Jim's thoughts keep rushing to Spock as the Vulcan is forced to put his mental shields up higher. The Captain keeps trying to find some rule, some page in the Starfleet rules that would save him. 

 Spock sits down on the bridge, becoming that stable of composure he has always been, of repression. The ship continues on, Spock making an order to report the incident at a Starbase in case a new plan needs to be put intact. 

McCoy on the other hand, puts in a report that Jim is no longer mentally fit to be Captain, and for Spock a mention about recklessly endangering a member of the crew's life. When he wrote down both of their names, tears almost came to his eyes, what he has to do will change everything forever, he may never forgive himself, but his hands are tied.

With that the reports are sent in, Leonard doesn't know when he will get a response, but the next Starbase will prove things interesting now. If McCoy could just forget the entire thing, if Jim could miraculously speak again; function like he used to. If Spock never brought Jim down in a life or death situation, then there would've been no problem. 

But the one odd thing about Spock bringing down Jim is that Spock beamed down with McCoy on the transporter pad, so how would Jim follow? Maybe Jim ran off on his own? Which just proves Leonards point further but then again, if Jim had run off on his own then Spock had probably allowed it. Then again why would a Vulcan do something so illogical? Something isn't adding up, McCoy knows something isn't adding up.

But McCoy has already sent the reports, it's too late to take them back now. Some things need to be let go. Just as the doctor had said earlier, Leonard has to stop letting his personal feelings get in the way.

It's about the safety of the ship, simple. 

Chapter Text

The Enterprise had arrived at the closest Starbase then. 
-Then McCoy had to accept what he had done. 
To think, such a simple report was going to cause so many problems. 

When the ship had arrived, Leonard is pulled aside, there he has told the attendant in charge everything.
How they found Jim. 
The crime ring in question.
The incident with the Klingons and the human colony. 
And how all of it happened from one decision by Mr. Spock. 

The attendant listened before leading the Doctor off a bit farther; the rest of the crew going out of sight. 
"Are you aware of the troubles this may cause?" The attendant asked.
Leonard nodded gravely, accepting his fate. He may be betraying his two closest friends, but if he didn't they may die. 

The events that transpired next were not pretty to say the least, but at least they were discreet to McCoy's thanks. He was hoping he could dissociate from what he was doing long enough so it wouldn't completely destroy him. The Starbase around him was still bustling with life as the ship's crew spread out, chatting amongst themselves like nothing in the past few months had happened. Now it was a naive thought to think that the other members of the U.S.S Enterprise were not aware and worried about the situation at hand, but McCoy let himself be naive as if that made anything better. 

-----

"Captain Kirk, First Officer Spock could you come here please?" 
Leonard could only watch as the duo walks off, Spock mainly leading Kirk with him. They disappear without a trace. The Doctor tears his eyes away from his two best friends, choosing to look at the repair of the ship instead, as if he could dodge the blame. The great engineers of Starfleet have quickly begun working on fixing the front of the ship since they arrived, swarming the great metal carcass like locusts. McCoy glances around at the other members of the crew, seemingly more invested in them than he is with himself. Uhura is in a very deep conversation with Nurse Chapel, and Scotty is diligently checking over the Enterprise like it's his own child occasionally pointing some of the Starbase engineers in places that need more attention than others. McCoy, well McCoy is just there, simply put. Nothing more is really to be said. So The Doctor decides to drag himself in a conversation with someone else, anyone else rather than just standing alone stewing in his own mistakes. 

"So McCoy what do you plan to do while the ship is being repaired?" Nyota asks.
"I'll find something to do, just glad I'm out of that metal deathtrap in space!" 
Uhura only laughs at that, saying something about how her and Chapel were going to go off to find something to do. 
"Do you want to come with us?" Uhura asks, a smile crossing her face. 
Leonard can only rule out her offer. 
Just as he ruled off every offer to keep Kirk and Spock on the ship. It was similar, wasn't it? 

So the two women walk off, already engulfed with chatter between each other. McCoy continues to drift around, finding something else to talk to, thinking of something else to do. He makes his way over to Scotty who is still watching as the ship gets repaired.
"She took quite a beating back there.." Scotty mumbles to himself. Leonard remains beside him, not planning on really entertaining any blurbs of speech that spill from Scotty's mouth. "I hope the colony members are doing okay." Other Starfleet ships had come to pick up the colonists after the incident with the Klingons, choosing to scatter them in groups across different Starbases in case they were to be targeted again. 
 Meanwhile with Chapel and Uhura. 

"I will admit I am worried about what's been happening and it doesn't help that McCoy is arguing his head off with Kirk and Spock." Chapel begins, rubbing her eyes. 
"Yea, I will admit I'm worried about the Captain." 
"Also with everything that happened at the colony, things just seem to be getting worse.." With that Nyota grabs Christine's hand. Her grip firm and comforting. 
"What use is worrying that everything will just get worse, obviously it's a fair assumption, Christine, we just need to help where we can. I wish I could do more too, but for now that's all we can do." Now Chapel notices something odd, Uhura's words have made her heart beat louder, she doesn't know exactly why, but if she ever gets the time to figure it out, she will. 
"Alright.. you want to wander around the Starbase for a bit?" 
So the two women go off, and begin to peak around all the areas they can reasonably find. The mood over the two of them has gotten ever so slightly lighter, but no one can deny the pressures at hand sadly. Uhura is trying to lift Chapel's mood, perhaps for herself too. 
"You know when this is all over, maybe we can have a nice shore leave together?" Nyota asks, the question slipping off her tongue as if a mere accident. 
"Sure Nyota, sure.. when this is all over, we can have the longest and best shore leave ever. -Together." 

The two women continue to walk around, but something is ever so slightly different now, perhaps it is as simple as a different energy between the two of them, a newfound understanding even. All they both know though, is that something is definitely different. 
And maybe for now that's enough to know, they really don't need the extra mental stress. After that conversation though, a new spark of hope grows in the heart of not just Chapel, but Uhura as well, hope that this issue will end eventually no matter how long it may seem to take, and no matter how much hope seems to be lost. 

Meanwhile a Captain and his first officer were separated from their ship, with no answer as when they would be able to come back. 
Perhaps even indefinitely. 

Chapter Text

'I lost my ship. It's over.'

That's the first thought that pours into Spock's mind when Kirk grabs his arm. They have been moved to the medical wing of a Starbase for a proper psych evaluation after a report from Doctor McCoy showed they were not medically fit to remain on the Enterprise. So they wait till they are called in for the official evaluation that seals their fates. Spock is examining his surroundings as Kirk tries desperately not to breakdown in the middle of the waiting room. He can still be Captain, he will become Captain of the Enterprise again, no matter what happens. Spock covers Jim's hand with his own. Not letting it dawn too harshly on him the emotional significance of such a gesture. He can meditate on it later. 

'Nothing is as you quote it is 'over' this is not a permeant situation.'

Jim glances up at Spock for a second before staring at the floor again. With that the duo fall into silence again, because really what more is there to be said? The lights overhead hum at a consistent pace, bringing back a memory Kirk would rather forget.

He had called for the other ground crew to leave, even if that meant without him. He didn't watch the Enterprise leave, but how Jim hoped it had. He was hiding behind one of the walls in the labyrinth that was 'The Pleasures of Galactica'. His footsteps were as silent as he could muster as he crept through the halls. He just had to survive for a bit, that's all, it probably wasn't going to be that hard. The light overhead was dim as Kirk continued to find a way out of there, but not just that, he planned to run far away from here until the Enterprise came back to pick him up. Then Jim heard it, footsteps that crept just out of his view. He felt eyes burn into the back of his head so he picked up his pace from a creep to a walk. 
But the footsteps only got louder. 
That lead Kirk to begin to sprint down the different winding halls of the crime ring, and with each dead end, his heart pumped faster. He kept running, his legs burned. 

Eventually he thought he was safe, the sound of footsteps had faded long ago. He was supposedly okay at least for now. With that he slowed down slightly, assuming that he didn't have to run forever. The walls of the ring were greasy with black streaks that crawled down the concrete. Jim glanced behind him for a moment, but for now he was completely alone. He didn't dare to say a single word as he kept walking around the area, prowling it even. He hoped that Spock was alright, after all the Vulcan was the one who had to make the final call for the Enterprise to leave even with Jim's orders. He was only able to hope though. Jim knew that fear was of no use, fear was not going to get him out of here, but something felt ever so slightly off. Nonetheless Jim continued on course, then he stumbled upon a cell at the end of a hall he was wandering down. He peeked in the dark glass, and there seemed to be someone huddled in the corner. Kirk tapped on the glass, as if to awake the prisoner with the promise of freedom. There was no response, only a cold, dead silence. Kirk then knocked again, nothing from the stranger in the cell, but behind him.. well..

They had found him, next thing the Captain knew there were hands that grabbed his arms and covered his mouth. He tried to push against them, kicking his feet back like a dog, but it was a fruitless resistance. His hair was harshly snagged as he was dragged off into darkness, the horrors just beginning. Maybe he should've fought harder, then none of this would've happened.

"It is not your fault Captain," Spock says, seemingly out of the blue. Jim looks over at him, confusion staining his face before he quickly shook it off. "The situation where you were left behind and captured was out of your control." Kirk can only nod at that, although he doesn't really believe Spock, how could you argue with a beacon of logic? 

With that the door to the waiting room opens; "James Kirk?" The woman standing at the door asks, with that the Captain simply stands and drags himself away.
But not before sparing one last glance at Mr. Spock. 

Spock on the other hand continues to wait patiently for when he may be called back, although he would prefer to be with the Captain for completely logical reasons. So he can only wait, just as he did so many times. Logically if it was anyone's fault behind Captain Kirk's kidnapping, Spock could blame no one, but himself. He thought over the memory he accidentally saw just a few moments ago. If only he hadn't left so early, but at the same time..

The Romulans had continued to creep closer, the scouting ship hanging over the Enterprise like a dark shadow. Spock had been called to beam up, but there was still other members of the away team in the 'Pleasures of GALACTICA' not to even mention they hadn't found the Captain yet. Spock had tried to communicate with the other ship, but all he got back was along the lines of 'leave the neutral zone.' -and nothing else. He had to wait just a bit longer until they could located Kirk, Scotty was working on finding his coordinates, but it was still fruitless at this time. They were only able to wait, but time was running out. Then they got it, the final communication.

"If you don't leave the neutral zone, we will shoot."

What other choice was there then? The other members of the party were forced to beam up without another word, and Spock, well he had told the Enterprise to leave not even a second after..

"Mr. Spock? We are ready to see you now." 

Chapter Text

The ships tensions were high after they left the Starbase. 

Not that they weren't already high before, but now it's gone downright nuclear. Or at least that's what Leonard 'Bones' McCoy thinks as he passes by the empty sickbay. No one knew what he had done, but rumors could be drawn quickly.
And quickly they were drawn. 

The meeting room is dead silent when McCoy enters. Scotty sits off to the far left, with Sulu and Chekov next to each other, while Uhura is off to the side. The crew that remains at the moment is pitiful to say the least, but it had to be done. The Enterprise would just have to wait for the next Starbase to pick up her new transfer captain. Everyone was aware of that at the least. Leonard sits down at the far end of the table, glancing at the other crew members with a cold reassignment. The warmth that once resided in everyone's eyes has been sucked out entirely. 
"Now that everyone is here we have much to discuss." Uhura starts.
"Just get straight to the point." Leonard snaps, everyone seems to be on the verge of arguing recently. 
"Look, whose idea was it to send off not only Kirk, but also Commander Spock on medical probation?" 
"Indeed, I understand that the Captain couldn't stay, but Spock too?" Scotty adds. McCoy's face scrunches up at that, now he knows why he was called here. 
"Exactly it seems the Captain is the one keeping everything together," Chekov replies. 
"This conversation is pointless." McCoy cuts in, "I have more important duities to get back to." 

"But at the end of the day, who sent them off?" Uhura asks again, the question dangling in the air, as if begging to be grasped, teasing to be answered. Leonard knew he did it, everyone probably assumed the same, but to actually admit it.. Well that's just a different story. So McCoy did something else, he turns and promptly leaves the room muttering something about duty calls. Everyone in the room knows he's dodging the question, but all they need is for him to admit it. To string together those simple words. 'I did it.' 

Of course the second that the Doctor left the room he rushed off to medbay, hopefully to avoid confessing for as long as possible. To face what he had done. Now Leonard feels he made no mistake, but as he sits in his office with a pleading hope that no one will open the door to find him; the sliver of doubt begins to grow in his mind. One that festers ever so slightly with the thought, that he may have just doomed them all. He turns and begins to look in the drawers of his desk before pulling some brandy hidden under a few papers. It's not his good stuff but it'll do. He pops up the cap and ever so non-gracefully takes a large swig. The drink stings down his throat as it clashes through his mouth, yet Leonard can't find it in himself to stop. It's probably not a good idea to drink on the job, but who is really there to police him? So he continues to swallow gulps of brandy until the bottle is halfway empty, before eventually forcing himself to set it down. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his uniform before staring aimlessly at his abandoned office. If Jim were he right now Leonard would be playing bartender to get Jim to spill whatever is on his mind. After all sometimes you'd tell more things to your bartender than your doctor. Well what would McCoy tell his metaphorical bartender? That he's the reason that his friends are gone and the Enterprise crew is falling apart? That he's the reason that the war may only continue to rage on and watch as his friends and coworkers die because he couldn't save them fast enough? Well he doesn't know that yet, but is there really a point in optimism? To think the Doctor's office and medbay seem so empty now, a sight that should bring anyone in the medical field some sort of relief, but to Leonard it's only unnerving. 

Then the door cracks open, and in steps Uhura. She seems to be taking some sort of unofficial charge of the situation. Leonard would admire her for it, if it wasn't for the fact that the Doctor didn't want to see anyone at this moment. Maybe she had an injury, some way that he could bury himself into his work and never come out? 
"Everyone else seems to be in agreement, did you send Kirk and Spock on medical leave?" Her voice is soft- well softer than it had been in the past few hours. Well there goes McCoy's hopes of an injury. 
"They were a danger to the other members of the crew, I did what I had to." 
"What did Spock even do?" 
"He brought Jim down with him on the away team when the Klingons attacked the earth colony." 
"No.. he didn't?" Uhura simply responds, but maybe her memory was wrong, and yet.. 
"Then how did he get down there?" McCoy asks, "I saw them together on the ground." 
"Kirk came down on his own, or at least that's what I saw, so either you have a far-fetched idea of mutiny or you made a mistake with leaving our First Officer behind." Leonard simply stares at her for a second, more confused than anything. Jim was hypothetically braindead, too traumatized to think straight, how the hell would he be able to work the transporter and find the ground crew in such a state? Then the Doctor thinks back to what happened when they were attacked that very first time, before the incident with the colony, when he was forced to restrain his very best friend in the world, dragging him back into sickbay as he sobbed. 

That's when McCoy realized, he made a terrible mistake, and there was nothing he could do now. 

Chapter Text

Uhura leaves Leonard's office, what she has learned bearing heavy on her mind. She doesn't exactly know what to do next, yes the ship needs a new Captain, but there's no one to fit that role, so she goes to the one person she can think of for advice. 

The bell rings on Christine's quarters, dragging the other woman up from her mountains of paperwork since the departure of Kirk and Spock. She stands up, swooping blonde hair from her face as she opens the door, meeting Uhura there. 
"Can I come in?" The other woman asks, not exactly looking at Christine. The Nurse simply nods as they walk further in together. 
"What is it?" Christine asks, "I mean moods across the ship have been bad but you seem especially shaken, and that's saying a lot." 
"It's really that noticeable?" Uhura laughs bitterly. 
"Yea but I mean it doesn't have to stay that way, what happened?"
Nyota sits down on a chair in Christine's quarters, the other woman joining her swiftly after. 
"I found out something a bit concerning.."
"What hasn't been concerning on this ship?"
Then Nyota says it, and the mood of the room takes a bit of a drastic turn. 
"Remember how Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk were sent down as medically unfit? Doctor McCoy was the one to send them down, and he grounded Mr. Spock on the idea that he brought Captain Kirk down to the colony on purpose." 
"What?" 

With that silence consumes the two women again, the knowledge weighing heavy on their minds. Mr. Spock never had to leave, but it's too late now, right? Both of them are gone.
"Well what should we do now?" Christine says, breaking the oppressive silence. 
"I don't know to be honest, I have been trying to take charge of the situation, but.." 
"Nyota," Christine sighs, placing her hand over Nyota's, "It sounds like you are trying to fix everything by yourself." 
"I guess so.." Uhura laughs.
"And I'm here to tell you, you don't have to take charge alone, because at this rate it seems we are some of the only sane people on this ship." Chapel replies. "You can't fix this alone, we are in a literal war." 
"I guess so, I just thought, I just thought that maybe things would end quickly? With negotiation this time, but I know that's unrealistic.." 
"I wish." Chapel says. "How about this, we can't exactly do much now, but do you want to get lunch at least?" 
"Sure Christine, sure."

The two women then begin to walk down the halls of the Enterprise, it may seem like a jaunty turn from reality, something as simple as lunch seems so out of place, but when the world feels uncontrollable, focus on what can be changed. 
Those are the thoughts that ring in Nyota's mind as the duo makes there way to the mess hall, and oddly enough, things feel just a little bit lighter. 

They walk over to the mess hall and sit down for a moment. 
"What should we do about the new Captain though? It will probably be temporary but still.." Nyota starts. 
"Well it depends on what this new Captain is like, at the end of the day we have no idea." 
"I guess so, then again coming on a new ship with a crew that's practically at each other's necks is not a fun time. So we should try to be nice." 
"I think nice is a bit of a tall order, but polite at the very least." 
"Alright, alright," Nyota says, a crack of a smile making it's way through her features, "I'm actually going to get my food now." 
"I'll guard the table," Christine replies as Nyota walks up to the replicators. 

Nyota keeps it simple, getting a chicken caesar salad and a cup of water before making her way back to the table. 
"Good job on guarding the table!" Nyota jokes, shaking up her salad to get all the components mixed together, although it's a bit surprising that the replicator doesn't do this for her. "Now I can guard the table this time." So Christine stands and gets her food with plans of coming back swiftly too. 

"I wonder what the new Captain will be like, I hope they're nice.." Nyota says through bites of salad, "I know it's a bit naive to say, but I would rather not deal with a complete jerk on top of everything else." 
"Fair, I guess that does play a role, although my plan is to get through this entire 'diplomacy issue' as fast as possible so I can have a really long shore leave- also so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else in my sickbay." Christine said the comment half heartedly, but it carries another weight, one that makes a wish, to never have to meet any dying crew members in her sickbay where she can do nothing but comfort them in the face of something much worse. 
"With that shore leave though Chapel, you have to bring me with-" Nyota responds, obviously noticing the worried expression on Christine's face. 
"And you know I will, don't worry about it." 

The two eat the rest of their meals in silence, not much needing to be said, despite the grimness of it all, at least they have each other, and for a moment that might be enough. 
"Things will be okay Christine, I'll do whatever I have to, to make sure we can have that shore leave." Nyota blurts out of the blue as the duo puts their trays away. 
"Then I will just have to do twice as much to make sure you aren't getting sick and making your way into med bay!" The two women laugh, a crisp sound in the face of uncertainty. 
"I promise I won't be ending up in med bay anytime soon, hopefully-" 
"You know you can't promise something like that, but yea I hope you don't show up anytime soon either." 

Then they leave, many unanswered questions still remain, but at least for now they have a bit of a deal. 
Nyota won't try to command the entire Enterprise crew by herself. 
And Christine won't see Nyota in sick bay anytime soon. 

Chapter Text

"So what happened down there that made you stop speaking?" The psychologist asks. 

The cell had gone cold at night, after all what was the point in heating? Jim had found himself pacing around the dark cell in an attempt to keep warm. His hands ran up and down his shoulders as his breathing ran ragged. His breath turned to fog as it escaped his mouth. His body shook as he continued to pace. He felt like a dog, but even dogs weren't treated like this. The Captain could only wait, but he was going to be found soon, he was so sure of it. Recently Jim's throat had been feeling a bit more scratchy, that probably wasn't a good thing. Then the door creaked open. Jim's head turned, a gleam of hope in his eyes only for it to shrivel up when he saw it wasn't anyone from Starfleet. The newcomer walked inside with a prideful gate, as they looked at Jim up and down. 

"What do you want?" Jim snapped, as the cold bit at his temper. He didn't look at the new person who entered, instead he turned to face the wall. The newcomer said nothing, simply continued to stare at Jim from afar. There was a heavy silence between the two of them, but at least the newcomer wasn't coming closer, something Jim was grateful for. "So you're just gonna stare huh?" Jim sneered, his voice choked up. He just wanted to go back home, back to the Enterprise, back to his crew, back to chats with McCoy, and chess with Spock, back.. home. There was no time to dwell on such thoughts so Kirk just simply stood by himself, taking no time to pace due to the visitor who had just arrived. The tension was thick in the air, the type of tension that made Kirk choke on his own air and his muscles freeze up. Then, the newcomer stepped forward. 

It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes. Jim shuffled forward to account for the movement, but even then it didn't do much. Sadly, this seemed to only make things worse in the long run. With the gap being obviously displayed, Jim still refused to even glance at his unwanted visitor. Then said visitor stepped forward again, and again. The sound of boots pattering against the floor was all the Captain could hear. He knew of what happened to the prisoners of this place. He knew what might happen to him. But Kirk didn't turn, perhaps he didn't want to face the chill that crept up his spine, or the unwillingness of the cage that trapped him, or maybe it was something else entirely. The heavy steps of the boots crept closer to him, despite any attempts Kirk made of avoiding them. He glanced out at the glass for a moment, the visitor said nothing which arguably only made things worse. 
In reality the only sound that graced itself was the heavy stomping of boots and the ragged breathing of the Captain. 

Then the boots stopped, right behind Kirk. It was a lingering presence, simply staring as if examining a piece of raw meat. The Captain hunched his shoulders in, his captors had not been kind in the past, but this was no captor, and oddly it felt much worse. The cold concrete wall offered the man no respite as the visitor stood there, their hot breathing rotting on Jim's neck. Neither of them spoke, just as before. Then a hand landed itself on the Captain's shoulder, it was a heavy presence. It simply laid there for a moment, like a bag of rocks that crushed Jim's collarbone. The man shuddered, and attempted to take a step forward...
but found that the grip on his shoulder only tightened, locking him in place. 
"Look what do you want?" Kirk sneered, attempting to pull away again. 
Then a head leaned on the hand that gripped his shoulder, which was connected to a mouth that spoke quite vaguely. 
"The more you talk the worse this will be. I prefer to do this in silence." 
"Now what does 'this' exactly imply?"  The Captain snapped back, trying to muster up enough fake bravado to escape the situation somehow. Then he was slammed against the concrete wall. His jaw hit it first, the pain shooting through his face like tiny needles. He cried out at the pain, the noise echoed off the wall, but no one noticed. Then his chest was thrown against the concrete, pressed harshly as the cold seeped through the thin fabric of his uniform shirt. Before he could push himself off the barrier with his hands, the visitor grabbed both of his wrists in one large hand and twisted them to his back. That forced another shout from Kirk, the pain wrapped around him like thorny vines. He tried to move from side to side against the wall in an attempt to wrangle himself free, sweat began to pool on his forehead as the sickening feeling of dread overtook his bloodstream. 
"I don't know what you want, but I recommend you get off me.." Jim tried again, even though both the people in the cell knew he was lying through his teeth. The newcomer gave the Captain no response, not even a nod, not that Kirk was able to see if they did anyways. He tried to escape again until his captor kicked the back of his legs, which sent him to the floor after his knees buckled. Then a hand slipped down Kirk's shirt, while his calves were stepped on. The hand went down his back, causing the Captain's blood to curdle where it laid. The fingernails of the visitor scrapped against the skin, but not enough to pierce skin, just barely. 
"Stop this, seriously" Kirk shouted yet he found himself unable to move. 
The visitor gave no response though, as their hand reached for the bottom of Kirk's shirt... 
And... and.. no one came to his screams and.. and.. and..

And then there was Spock. 
Spock throwing his captor off him.
Spock asking if the Captain was okay..
An abstracted, blue depiction of Spock did all those things at least. 
But that's not what happened, Kirk knew it, yet the memory was different. 

Then Jim opens his eyes. 
The first thing he notices is that he is now on the floor, the cold tile underneath his hands. 
The second thing he notices is a wave of blue right by him, breathing, residing close to him. 
The third thing he notices are Spock's hands touching his neck. 
He looks up at Spock, tear streaks are all that remain of whatever may have happened, with only a tiny gasp leaving his mouth. 

Jim practically falls against Spock's chest then, professionally be dammed, they had already lost their jobs. He clung to Spock's uniform shirt, choking out broken sobs one after another. He just couldn't seem to stop, and maybe that was the scary thing.. that he couldn't reel back the crying anymore.
Then again that control had died after that night, and perhaps it is never to return. 
Jim doesn't want to know what Spock things of him now, the once perfect picture of a Captain crumbling in his lap like a used up dam. His tears flow freely now, landing down on Spock's uniform pants, seeping through the black fabric. He doesn't know exactly what to do now, because by wild guess, he probably failed the psych evaluation. 

'You were not the only one who, plainly put, failed.' 

Jim looks up, only to be met with the same seemingly emotionless yet sympathetic eyes he grew to love, well he wouldn't call it that, more so deeply care for. Spock's hand is pressing over his, another thing considered highly indecent by Vulcan standards, but it's just for communication, so who really cares? Well Jim at least assumes the only motivation behind some of Spock's actions is communication without voice. The Vulcan's presence is a calming wave over Kirk's fraying nerves, something more stable than he will ever be, something that will not leave at the mere wrong glance, Spock. 

"Well, I apologize gentlemen, but you both failed your psychological examination, you will not be able to serve on any Starfleet craft for at least a while." 

Although Jim thought those words would crush him, oddly enough they merely rolled off his back. Now Spock and Jim stayed there for a bit longer, but both of them couldn't deny what had to be considered.
What will they do now? 

Chapter Text

The ship had finally parked at the required Starbase. The new Captain is scheduled to arrive soon. The crew is waiting inside the ship, ready for the new Captain to beam up. McCoy rots in med bay, there's a drink in his glass and malaise over his eyes. Spock didn't have to leave, but no Leonard just had to make that horrible judgement call, and now they're gone.  The liquor burns down his throat like a whisper, yet he forces himself to swallow anyways. The alcohol gets mixed with his own spit as he glares at the door to his office. It stares back at him, taunting him, and taunting the pathetic ache in his chest. 

It's a spreading, hollow pain, one that makes his throat feel scratchy and his eyes flood. Whenever he looks at the empty bed in med bay where Jim once lay, the ache flairs up again, like chronic pain that can't be fixed with any amount of operations or hypos. So he sits in his empty office, drowning brandy. It does help, or at least the doctor thinks it does. The feeling after enough drinks washes over him slowly, encompassing his mind in a warm fever. The humming warm kindness spreads though his senses, numbing them little by little. It causes the room around him to shift slightly, although not exactly in a bad way. With each drop that cascades into his mouth, speckles of relief follow close behind. No one has entered the med bay anytime soon anyways, so it's not like it really mattered, Chapel was too busy doing, whatever she did. McCoy couldn't bother to check anymore. He would just remain where he sat, wasting hours away with nothing more on his mind, and maybe that's the way it should be. 

He eventually does stand up, and when he does his hand flies against the edge of the desk to stabilize his shaky stance. The world is spinning as the Doctor blinks away the merry go round he unintentionally brought himself on. When his vision is at least somewhat stable, he releases his grip on the desk, hobbling over to the door. Although Leonard would prefer not to admit it, his steps are a lot less sound than he likes to think. Nonetheless he reaches the cool metal of the door as he opens it up. Just as he expects, the med bay is completely empty. No one occupies the beds anymore, not even Jim. Yet McCoy finds he can only laugh, it's a light-hearted chuckle, one that bubbles from his chest, it's an odd feeling, but the fuzzy warmth of the alcohol takes over in the end. Although this savior in a bottle does come with it's issues, because with every usage, the Doctor will need ever so slightly more after a few times. He takes in a wide view of the medical bay, it's more or less organized, not that Leonard has entirely been keeping track. He probably should, but there are more important things to do, like wait for the new Captain to arrive. 

Meanwhile Nyota Uhura and Nurse Chapel are quietly discussing the possibilities of what could happen. 
"Things will be okay, after all Starfleet is probably picking one of their finest to be the Captain of the Enterprise.." Nyota says, trying to bring the mood up. 
"I hope so, but we can only guess.." Christine responds.
"Yea, I mean no one can replace Captain Kirk, but the new Captain will hopefully be alright, and if things are really bad, we can figure something else." 
"Are you okay Nyota?" 
"Yea, I'm fine, should we get back to work? After all we should at least try to be prepared." 
"Do you have anything to do at this very moment?"
"No, but do you?"
"Probably, let's check on med bay." 

The duo stand up and walk down the temporarily empty halls of the Enterprise. 
"You know, maybe things won't be so bad?" 
"maybe Nyota, maybe." 
The two take a turn into the med bay, then they see it. 

Leonard McCoy is completely hammered. Chapel looks like she's going to burst a seam, Uhura looks utterly disgusted and disappointed, but before either woman can do anything..
The new Captain has beamed aboard. 
"I'll deal with this, you should probably go up to the bridge," Christine simply says. Nyota nods, and turns to leave.
Why does it seem, when one problem is solved, five others come out of the woodwork?
It seems that Uhura just has to keep trying, one thing at a time, right? 

With that she goes into the turbolift as the words fall from her mouth; "bridge." Immediately she begins to move up, mentally preparing for whatever she may find.  The doors open swiftly as she walks out to the bridge.

It looks the same as it always has, her chair sits where she left it, the captain's chair remains unmoving, unfilled as expected, Sulu and Chekov remain at the helm. Yet it feels so empty, like all the light has been sucked away, only leaving a void behind. Nyota moves over to the communications station at the bridge, sitting down to a shambled routine. Everyone else is to an extent quiet, except some soft mumbling between Chekov and Sulu. The Captain obviously has no arrived to the bridge yet, so the tension in the air remained. Uhura continues to fiddle with the buttons on the console, anxiously waiting. 

Then the turbolift opened, and the new Captain, steps out. He glances around the bridge, his grey eyes reeking a facade of boredom. 
"Well then, is this the bridge crew?" 
"Yep, the finest in Starfleet." Scotty says, gesturing vaguely at everyone on the bridge. The Captain nods, making his way over to the Captain's chair. His sleek black hair is stuffed back into a man bun. 
"Alright then." 
Nyota immediately notices how the new Captain is nothing like Kirk, some could even say the opposite. 
"So whose that in communications?" The man gestures to Uhura.
"Nyota Uhura," the woman says, cracking a smile on her face. It doesn't really matter her personal opinions at this point, she would rather make a good impression. 
"Alright, and you, helmsman," The new Captain says, pointing at Chekov as if he is an unwanted  bug in his house. 
"Ensign Pavel Chekov, sir."
Nyota furrows her brow at the interaction, mainly about the complete lack of manners of the new Captain. She fiddles with the buttons of the helm, the only thing she really can do is be polite to him. Yet a deep feeling of wrongness curdles in her gut, twisting and thrashing like a caged animal. She senses it across the other members of the bridge too, something feels off. 

This pattern continues on of the new Captain boredly pointing at different people on the bridge, hearing their name, then moving on to the new person.
"Oh and my name is Rustle Diecroft I guess."

Chapter Text

They both failed, that was obvious. Two Starfleet careers gone down the drain. Yet, as Kirk glances at Spock from the doors main entrance of the Starbase, he can't find himself to care. They both are going to be beamed up to a shuttlecraft soon. For now though, they wait.

The vastness of space stares at the duo through the windows provided. The little twinkling stars cast a faint glow against the searing black. The odds of many more planets stare off, begging them to come closer, to take another look. 
'I think I'll miss exploring space..'

Spock glances over at Jim, their bodies have been drifting closer together recently..
Well for Jim it's because it's comforting. To hear someone else is actually beside him, living, breathing, it's warm. It's a reminder that blooms in Kirk's head, that he won't be locked away alone ever again. It's an everlasting warmth that may consume him, but he will follow it restlessly, loyally, until his feet give out. So he will remain right at Spock's side, no matter how much he is pushed away, that reoccurring presence is a reminder that he didn't die down there alone in that cell. Never mind that, Jim gleams up at Spock, thinking the Vulcan hasn't noticed him. Which leads them to an odd moment of staring into each other's eyes for a brief moment. Spock could get lost in those eyes forever, among the abyss of hues. He could wrap himself up in what remains of their kindness, neglecting to remind himself of the haunted look that lingers underneath. Meanwhile Jim admires back, his eyes peeking back into focus like they did what seems like a lifetime ago in that sick bay. The moment drags on for a little longer, before the sound of a shuttle cascades into view.

Jim watches as Spock and him slowly fade away into holographic particles, as their atoms are rearranged to appear again on that shuttlecraft. When they reappear, they are met with two empty seats in the back row and not even as much of a 'hello'. Jim sits near the wall of the shuttlecraft while Spock sits right next to him. With that the shuttlecraft leaves the base, acknowledging the only two passengers they were waiting for arrived.

'so we are going to meet the Vulcan ambassador right?'

Spock only nods. The air has changed between them, but in a way Jim is unable to describe. A sense of dread has filled his stomach, but he is unaware as to why. So he simply leans against the wall, feeling the rumble under his skin. It's a comforting motion, or at the very least a repetitive one. It's odd, he wasn't so nervous before, than again perhaps the reality of what is happening is starting to sink in. What would Jim see now, if his past self from the academy were to see him? 

But Jim isn't the only one feeling that something is off. While Spock gazes off attempting to adjust his mental shields higher to stop the dribbling influx of emotion that should be suffocated, he finds it harder than normal. Maybe it could be pinned on the soft breathing of the man beside him, which would normally be a calming presence, does nothing to soothe his nerves. Meeting his father, is not always the most pleasant experience, much less with Jim, even less so with Jim in such a state he is now. He's been getting better though. That thought spreads an odd calmness throughout him, but for now it is not enough. The shuttlecraft keeps flying on, and neither man even spares a glance at each other for the rest of the ride.

When they do beam down to Vulcan, the dusty desert sands near the Capital city ShiKahr greet them both. The other members that resided on the shuttlecraft either fly off with it, or scatter rather quickly. Leaving the duo in the dust left behind.

'alright then, what do we do now?'

"We are scheduled to meet with Ambassador Sarek." Spock responds, their half conversations almost feeling natural to the two of them by now. Then again it's not like the topics that Spock would spew out to a practically lifeless Kirk were much better. With that Spock brings himself forward, Jim floating right beside. The sand swirls up in the air, making swift patterns in the wind, although it is oddly enough, not suffocating. The sand some could even argue, sparkles against the ground like fine glitter. But Vulcans would be much too logical to compare sand to glitter; or at least that's the thought that crosses Jim's mind. He bites it off with a small expression that could maybe be compared to a smile as they make their way further into the city. The sun beats down on the both of them as they keep walking.

The city is oddly quiet today, not that Vulcans are overly loud, but it is so still as if Jim had walked into a painting.
'Is it wrong to think that more people should be out today?'
He gets no response, much to his mild confusion, perhaps he had been taking the fast replies for granted. Spock on the other hand is scanning the perimeter of the city, because ShiKahr is practically empty, no one is in the streets selling wares, no one is outside at all. Even at the hottest point of the day the Capital isn't this abandoned. Spock walks past closed up houses and stores in the general direction of where he plans to meet his father. The heat begins to glare on Kirk, sweat pooling down his back. It's a sticky uncomfortable feeling, plastering his shirt to him. He stretches his arm off, pulling the fabric from his back. Spock watches as he does this, his mental shields almost breaking for a moment again. Jim's cheeks are pink from the sun, gleaming with sweat; his hair is stuck to his forehead. Yet in all his dishevelment, it only causes Spock's heart to thud in his side louder.  Perhaps it is just the heat, but it's never affected Spock much before, but now it seems to be all he can think about.

Nonetheless, there are much more important things to think about, like meeting his father to discuss the accidental bond between him and Jim along with the fact that his father is also a mind healer. They were sent here hoping that he could maybe help, but Jim isn't Vulcan, so Spock has no idea how it's going to go. Soon they begin to get closer to the Capital building, then amidst the quiet sounds of sand drifting against the empty city, the wind begins to pick up. It's small at first, but as sand flies past the duo's boots cascading off into the empty streets it almost falls into place. 
Something is horribly wrong. 

The crash is the next thing to be heard, reverberating off of the lifeless buildings and straight into Spock's ears. Jim looks backward, only to catch a blur of motion before being pulled harshly behind a building. His back is pressing against the cold stone with Spock right next to him.
'what is happening Mr. Spock?!'

"It seems that we have stumbled upon the reason as to why ShiKahr is empty." Spock says, his tone clipped ever so slightly more than normal. The sound of boots pounding against the ground rumbles across the air. Kirk's mouth is slammed shut, not that it has spoken as of recent anyways. The air is thick with tension as the duo tries to remain as still as possible. 
"Don't waste your time elsewhere, just get over to the Capital building!"
The marching continues off, but still lingers in the atmosphere. 
'Is that what I think it is?'
Spock only nods, the now familiar feeling of dread attempting to pester him. 
So they remain against that wall, the coolness of the stone feeling much warmer than Spock's blood. 
Blood that may hopefully stay inside him for another day. 

Chapter Text

"So what do you think of Captain Diecroft? That's his name right?" 
Nyota looks up from her salad, her mind coming awake with a jolt. When the question finally registers she resists the urge to roll her eyes. 
"He's bland but overall he seems fine," Nyota simply says, picking at her salad with her fork. 
"Yea, McCoy's been off the rails recently." 
"So I've heard.." 
Silence falls between the two women.
"I'm sorry, I have to go, gotta make sure things don't get even worse." Chapel says, leaving. 
Nyota's heart tugs as Christine leaves, attempting to push back the tinge of sadness she feels. 

The woman is alone now, picking fruitlessly at her salad. She's not even hungry, she hasn't been since this morning. All she really seems to be able to do is wait for something to go wrong, for the second shoe to drop. She stares at the empty seat where Christine once sat, with the other woman gone her insides feel like an endless black pit. What more is really to be done though, yes Nyota knows that Christine Chapel is a capable woman, and a gorgeous one at that but what is she really doing letting her thoughts dwell for too long? The fork is set down with a clatter as Uhura stands up, she doesn't know exactly what she will do at the moment, but maybe she should check on the others. 

She puts her untouched tray away, tucking the salad under her arm as if she actually plans to finish it. Rubbing her eyes she walks down the hall. The Enterprise seems a lot more empty recently, when in reality not much has changed. No one is going to tell her that though, she just has to seek it out herself. 

She wonders what Scotty is doing, or Chekov, anyone other than actually thinking about how she is doing. Christine though, when Nyota is around Christine, she can't exactly describe it but..

The soft lingering touches, the way that Christine's shoulders subtly relax after Nyota distracts her with some stupid story that doesn't even matter. When they sit by each other in silence, neither of them having anything to say. It's the little things that build up with some side effects, some of them being: Nyota seeing Christine in her dreams, wishing to be around the other woman, and when Christine does have to leave, a deep sense of sadness being given to Nyota. 

Maybe Nyota does need a nurse, specifically nurse Chapel to check her out. 

Nonetheless Uhura just so happens to pass the one of the rec rooms, where Scotty is, but also the new Captain. She sits down near Scotty, glancing at Captain Diecroft. 
"Hey Uhura," 
"Hey Mr. Scott, how is it going?" 
The man's tone is slightly damper than normal, wrapped in a thick scottish accent. 
"This new Captain.." Scotty whispers, "Knows nothing about the Enterprise.." 
"What do you mean? Has something happened?" Nyota asks, concern dripping into her words. 
 The man simply shakes his head without another word, standing up and leaving. Once he does, Nyota locks eyes with Rustle. Tearing them away almost as quickly as it happened Nyota leaves the rec room. 

A chill creeps up the woman's spine, something is wrong with that Captain, she doesn't know what, but there's something.  She leaves the room as quickly as she came, eventually residing herself to her quarters. 

What is she going to do? She just wants to talk with Chapel again, not sit on her bed feeling helpless. She has no reason not to like the new Captain, besides the fact he seems just a bit 'bored' with everything. The lights in her room suddenly seem to bug her as her thoughts race. Is she truly doing enough? It's just a new Captain, like how it's just a few people gone, in the middle of an intergalactic war. Maybe she's bitten off a bit more than she can chew, not that she even knows what she's fully started doing, but nonetheless she can't leave now and has to accept it. If Kirk were here he would have a plan, or at least give some guidance but no.. the tension across the Enterprise is thick and seemingly no one seems to know what to do. 
If she can't take charge, fine. But then she'll just try harder, and be the best crew mate this Starfleet ship has ever seen!

Sure Christine said that Nyota can't fix everything herself, but she can be more efficient than she is being now. Her working harder doesn't fix everything, doesn't even make her a leader in her opinion, but at least in these times the crew should rely on someone. So that someone, will be her. It's the least she can do really. 

With a new plan set in place Nyota leaves her quarters, and goes up to the bridge a smile firmly on her face. Her shift is beginning soon might as well get a head start on it. She sits down at her station, just as she should, flipping through empty communication channels. The Captain's chair is empty at this moment, but Sulu and Chekov are in the front, joking just as normal. The stars greet Nyota ahead, a pretty sight, it helps her remember what she is here to do. To explore space, and learn more about the galaxy, that's the root of Starfleet's cause after all. 

As Nyota flips through any saved messages the computer might have clung onto, she finds something a bit off. There is a flurry of communications to an unknown planet. It bears a name unknown previously and no formal identification. Nyota takes mental note of this as the Rustle enters and throws himself down in the Captain's chair rather ungracefully. She'll check up to see if she can find anything about where these messages come from after her shift is over again. 

The Enteprise keeps zooming through the stars as Rustle lazily spews orders at different members of the crew. It's a long ride as they plan to meet up with another starship. 

When Nyota's shift does end, she brings herself back to her quarters, and sadly she is yet to see Chapel since their conversation earlier. Into the computer in her quarters she types in the name of the planet she found messages going to. 

Terra Axis VI