Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Grey. All he saw was grey.

As soon as Tyler opened his eyes, everything was grey. From his boring, grey ceiling to his equally grey sheets. Getting up, he stepped to the window, looking out over what little view of the city he had before his eyes lifted to the sky. Grey. He sighed a heavy sigh, opting to shut the curtains again before he turned on his heel, making his way to the bathroom to begin getting ready for work.

The faucet had to be wiggled a bit before the water began to spurt out, splattering against the off-white ceramic of the sink. He would have to get that fixed, eventually, but for now he couldn't afford it. He couldn't really afford anything, so the faucet went on the long list of things that needed to be fixed.

He made quick work of getting ready, brushing his teeth and relieving himself before making his way back to his room, tugging on his same grey pants and grey t-shirt from the day before. He lifted the fabric around his neck to his nose, giving it a quick sniff before deciding that it had one more day in it.

A small chime came from behind him, and Tyler felt his stomach drop. There, fastened into the wall, the small LED screen lit up, an 8-bit sun rising over a pixelated hill, the only colourful and expensive thing in his run down apartment.

"Good morning Tyler.. Joseph!" The soft AI voice called out, almost sounding freakishly human, but with enough stops and pauses in the wrong places to let you know it definitely wasn't. "The time is, 6:45am. Today's weather: Rain. Make sure to bring an umbrella!"

Tyler sighed as he pulled on his shoes, rolling his eyes until they found his umbrella in the corner of the room, run down and full of holes.

"Current debt for the day..." The machine paused, as if it had a normal human brain that needed time to add up the numbers. Tyler froze, not wanting the rustling of his clothes or jingle of his keys to interrupt what he needed to hear.

"$256,086" It paused again. "and .59 cents. Time to get to work!"

Tyler swallowed hard. Even after working ten hours the day previous, his debt had gone up by $20. How was that right? He turned to the screen, the previously mentioned number flashing there as if it was money he had just won, not money he owed.

"Ruby," He called, waiting for the machine to respond. After a moment, the LED lights came on to show it was listening. He spoke again. "How much money did I spend yesterday?"

A small circle spun on the screen, calculating the answer. "A total of..." The AI voice came again, taking a pause. "...$349.52 was spent yesterday."

No.. no that couldn't be right, Tyler made his way over to the screen, searching it, as if there might be some trick, some way of undoing it. "...On what?" He asked after a moment, puzzled. Her voice came again after a beat.

"Itemized list - O'Reilly's Gas Station, $85.22" Breakfast and gas, Tyler thought.

"Costco, $97.30" Groceries for the week, unavoidable, he thought as he chewed his lip, eyes watching the numbers that came up on screen.

"...$167, Warner's Car Finance."

Ah. He laid his forehead against the grey wall of his room, breathing out through his nose. Was it that time of the month already? Tyler had promised himself last month he would be better prepared this time around, but he had forgotten again. He tore himself away, eyes lingering on the screen for a moment.

"Is there anything else I can help you with, Tyler Joseph?" The soft AI voice came again after a brief pause. Tyler said nothing, just grabbed his wallet and keys, making his way to his grey front door.

It hadn't always been this way, he thought as he entered the elevator, jabbing the basement button albeit a little harder than intended. People used to never wrack up debt like this, but in recent years, the cost of living had sky rocketed. Even the basics, such as food and water, things like shelter, would sometimes cost a whole days work to afford.

Tyler had experienced this too, his thin figure much more frail than it used to be. He used to be able to afford everything just from the money he made on his music, but now... He had been reduced to a corporate office worker, putting in ten hours a day just to break even. He squeezed the bridge of his nose, thinking about Ruby. He hated the stupid machine, but as the country wracked up more and more debt, their government had mandated that every citizen needed to have one installed in their homes as a constant reminder of how much they owed. They would never admit it, but Tyler just knew that thing watched and listened to everything he did.

Making his way out of his apartment, Tyler found his car, jamming the key in and jiggling it, doing the all too familiar bump with his hip against the door to get it open. The creak that responded to his actions made him groan and he got in, slamming the door after him and grimacing as the frail body of the car protested under his already light weight.

It wasn't long before he was on his way, a frustrated groan leaving him as it began to rain. He turned on his wind shield wipers, well.. the one that worked anyway, and continued on his way to work. Another 10 hour shift was ahead of him, and he couldn't start the day so frustrated already.

-o-o-

Tyler was frustrated. Not only was the rain pounding the window to his office, giving him a headache, but it had taken a whole 30 minutes to get started on his work due to IT issues. Jenna eyed him over the separator of their desks, looking down as he finally typed his password in, the IT guy barely out of his booth as she spoke up.

"You okay?" She asked, looking down, her icy blue eyes scanning him. Tyler's eyes flicked up to meet hers for a moment before focusing on his screen again, starting up each software he needed to do his job.

"Bad morning," Was his only reply, and her face turned sympathetic. "Anything I can do to help?"

Jenna was sweet. She had always looked out for him, ever since high school. Tyler had been the weird new kid, and even though Jenna was one of the most popular girls in school, she had taken him under her wing. They had been inseparable ever since, attending college together, living together (before it got too expensive), and applying for the same company together when both their financial situations became dire.

Tyler shook his head grimly, leaning back in his chair and finally giving her some attention. "Car finance."

Jenna made a soft 'oof' noise, grimacing before her eyes flicked up to the hallway that led into their office. She quickly sat back down, fake typing on her keyboard to look busy.

Their manager had entered, a man name Paul, his grey suit sharp as he eyed people in the office with half contempt, half satisfaction. "Good morning team," He said, making his way to the head of the room. He sounded bored, almost as if he would rather be anywhere else than here, and Tyler couldn't help his wry smile. Maybe they all felt the same way.

"Can I have your attention for a moment?" Tyler turned to him now, eyeing the scarlet red tie down his front. Jenna had appeared over the separator again, eyes wide as if she had noticed it too. Nowadays, even coloured fabrics cost way more than the every day grey, so to wear one to the office meant that Paul had some big news.. or he had just got a raise.

"As you all know," Paul continued, fingers playing with the fabric of the tie. "Today is Julie's last day,"

The office gave a resounding 'Awwww', heads turning to a woman with olive skin, sporting the same various shades of grey as everyone else. Paul nodded solemnly. "I know I know... we are so sad to see you go, Julie." He said with a pointed gaze, and Julie looked embarrassed, standing up as if she wanted to say something. However, Paul's voice filled the room again, and she looked surprised.

"Let's try to make Julie's last day as special and easy as possible, because after this, she's off to Mulberry Street!"

There was a pause, and then the office erupted. The other workers made their way to Julie's side, the men clapping her on the shoulders and the woman taking their turns giving her hugs. Julie had turned bright red at this point, her eyes lingering on Paul for a moment, as if she had been the one that wanted to share the news.

"Congrats, Julie!!" "Way to go, Julie!" "You finally did it Julie!!"

Tyler sat in his chair, stunned for a moment before he noticed Jenna giving him a pointed glance, motioning her head as if to tell him to stand up and clap. He did so in a second, eyes finding Julie again.

She looked as if she was about to cry, and Tyler didn't know if it would have been from happiness or... something else.

"I'm so honoured," She said after her first tear escaped her. "To finally be accepted is... well, I can't even describe it!" She said through her tears, and the people in the office gave a round of laughter. One of the woman in the back piped up. "You're going to do great Julie!"

Tyler thought for a moment. Would she do great? Nothing against Julie, of course, she was as lovely as they come, but... she was... a little bit on the older side.

Tyler perished the thought after a moment. That wasn't really fair... biting his lip in guilt, he forced a smile before chirping out a small, "Well done Julie," Something she wouldn't even hear over the rest of his co-workers. Jenna heard it, and she glanced sideways at him, giving him an approving nod.

-o-o-

Around lunch, Jenna and Tyler found themselves in the cafeteria. Jenna had splashed out and bought Tyler lunch when he had protested and lied, telling her he was on a diet. She of course saw through this, and knew that his car finance payment had likely used up his lunch budget for the rest of the month.

"Just sit!" She said after a moment, half annoyed, half joking, and Tyler did so, lifting his fingers to his mouth and motioning as if he was zipping his lips closed before putting his hands up defensively. She set the tray down in front of him, the sweet smell of noodles with an aromatic sauce causing his stomach to lurch in excitement. It must have cost her a fortune...

Jenna heard the growl of his hunger, and laughed softly before sitting across from him, immediately snapping two chopsticks apart and digging in. Tyler followed close behind, and after a couple of hurried bites to silence the pangs of hunger in their stomachs, they slowed to a steadier eating pace.

"So," Jenna began after a moment, taking a small sip of water as Tyler eyed her curiously. He was just swallowing his own mouthful, bringing a napkin up to clean his lips. "What do you think about the news?"

"I... wasn't thinking about it," He said, averting his gaze. Jenna almost scoffed. "Liar. I know you're burning to ask Julie how she got in," She teased. Tyler said nothing, just used his chopsticks to move a stray noodle around the bottom of his bowl. It was the most appetising meal he had had all week, but he suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore.

"Jenna," He began in small protest, his eyes finding their way to the Mulberry Street brochures on the cafeteria table. Someone, something, had made it their job to advertise the initiative all over their office building, the brochures not being the only media around. He looked up, finding the Mulberry Street poster on the wall and he scoffed.

"Tyler," She retorted after a moment of him not saying anything. "You'd be a fool not to want in."

That was true. Tyler set down his chopsticks, reaching across the table and taking a brochure in his hands. He had already read this one before, multiple times actually, but his eyes scanned over it again.

"INTRODUCING, THE MULBERRY STREET INITIATIVE!"
"Are you stuck in a dead end job? Working just to make ends meet? No time for anything else? Well look no further, because at Mulberry Street, we work so you don't have to!"
"Come live the lavish lifestyle, let us take care of you! Make the only thing you worry about be the future, and do your duty to your country at the same time, can you think of anything else more satisfying?"

He threw the brochure on the table, eyes flicking back up to Jenna, her icy blue eyes meeting his. "Why not apply?" She asked after a moment, and she looked nervous, almost expecting him to get angry.

"I have." Was Tyler's only response, and Jenna choked on her food. "What?!" She spluttered out, finding her water and chugging for a moment.

"Tyler Joseph, why didn't you tell me?!"

Tyler averted his guilty gaze down to his hands on his lap, not wanted to see her reaction. "Because I got denied." Jenna's jaw dropped. "Twice."

"Tyler.." she reached out after setting her chopsticks down, offering a hand and he took it, immediately relaxing as he felt her fingers squeeze his. "Tyler... Me too."

He shot his eyes up to her, wide and unblinking for a moment before they both fell into peels of laughter. "I've... applied 4 times," Jenna continued through amused gasps, and Tyler couldn't help himself, raising his fist to his mouth to quiet himself as heads started to turn at their laughter.

After a moment, Jenna raised her napkin to the corner of her eye, wiping a tear of amusement. "4 times...?" Came Tyler's voice, and she spluttered again, set off into a new set of giggles at their combined hopelessness.

In took another few minutes for them to compose themselves, and eventually, Jenna piped up again. "Y'know..." She said, pausing as Tyler eyed her curiously. "They're much more accepting if you apply as a couple."

-o-o-

And that's how they found themselves on the corner of one of the most expensive streets in town. Tyler looked up at the building in awe. It was beautiful, the mahogany door flanked by two marble pillars, a bright sign just overhead reading 'Mulberry Co.' with a tag line underneath; 'So good to see you.'

Tyler was nervous. Jenna looked impatient and took his hand forcefully, and when Tyler gave her a questioning glance, Jenna sighed. "We have to make it believable." She said in an angry whisper.

Right.. Right! Tyler interlocked his fingers with hers and smiled nervously. "Jenna..." he piped up after a moment, and she turned to him, fixing his fluffy hair absent-mindedly. "Jenna.." He tried again, and this time she looked at him with an expression that said 'What now?!'

"Jenna, what if they know...? We'll be kicked out.. We might lose our jobs." Jenna scoffed at his words, fixing the scarf around his neck this time. He could tell she was nervous too.

"Don't be silly," She began, but he interrupted her. "Jenna, they'll expect us to have kids!"

She froze at that, her eyes meeting his finally, brows dipped in concern. He continued. "Jenna... we'll be married... and then they'll be expecting kids."

He put more emphasis on the words this time, and Jenna brought a hand up to rub her temples, both to soothe her nerves and calm her anger. She grabbed Tyler's forearm, dragging him a little from the door, worried about anyone overhearing them.

"Tyler, you need to calm down." She said sternly, her eyes serious now as she placed her hands on his shoulders. "We have known each other years, years" She said louder when he opened his mouth to protest. "We go in, they ask us some questions and then..." She tried her best to force a smile. "We get to live like they do."

Tyler knew who she was talking about, the lucky few that were selected, and he wanted that, god he wanted it too. He had never admitted it so freely to himself, but he was admitting it now. All he could manage was a shaky nod, his brows dipped down and determination and Jenna's expression brightened.

"Y-You're right," He began, although he turtled into his scarf a little, peering at her. "..msorry,"

She acknowledged that with a nod, her hand moving down to intertwine their fingers together again. Tyler gave one last nod and with that they headed inside.

-o-o-

"So, tell me about yourselves!"

Jenna and Tyler sat across a bright and cheerful woman, her blonde hair curled perfectly over her shoulders, her body adorning a skirted suit in the most brilliant shade of pastel blue Tyler had ever seen, a satin pink blouse with a ruffled collar completing the look. She was eyeing the paperwork they had filled out in the waiting room before flicking her eyes up to them, moving between Tyler and Jenna.

"Eh," Tyler started, but Jenna cut him off, clearly too nervous to let him speak. "Well, we've been together about 10 years." She started, but Tyler could tell she was speaking faster and more high pitched than usual.

"And to be honest the only reason we haven't been married or had kids yet is due to...." Jenna paused here, as if she expected the woman to know what she was talking about. She had been jotting down notes and when Jenna stopped talking, she looked up, expecting her to continue.

"...Money."

Tyler wanted to cringe, but he controlled his facial features as best he could, instead shaping the emotion into a sad smile. The woman across the table from them look dumbfounded, before breaking into an awkward smile.

God.. This felt like begging, but Tyler remembered the amount of debt he was in and suddenly, begging wasn't below him anymore.

"Well," She said after a moment of silence, setting her pen down gently, her other hand coming up to scratch behind her ear. She kept her smile tight before meeting their eyes again.

"I'll be honest, you guys seem like the perfect candidates." She said, but her face was stiff, and Tyler wasn't sure if he really believed her. "You're young, I can tell you have a strong bond and you really... care for each other." Jenna shifted upright beside him, but Tyler had the urge to sink back into the chair, wanting it to swallow him. Why would she word it like that? She must be suspicious.

"Well, before we make a decision, let me give you a run down of the situation," Her face had softened back into that sickly sweet smile and she leaned forward, elbows resting on the desk.

"So as you know, it's no secret that we're living in a time of declining birth rates. At our current rate, we might run out of a sufficient work force in the next 15-20 years," She paused for effect here, but Tyler and Jenna said nothing, eager for her to continue. Tyler had read the brochure enough times to know most of this info anyway.

"So, our government has launched The Mulberry Street Initiative," As if on queue, the large screen behind her lit up, images of pastel houses coming into view, people walking their dogs down perfectly manicured lawns and waving happily to each other, nature effortlessly weaved into the living space, each person on screen looking bright and colourful. Happy.

"In order to encourage young couples to start having those babies again," She continued, the image on screen switching to said babies. Tyler swallowed hard. "We need to take away the burden and stress that finances can put on people. Jenna," She said suddenly. Jenna's eyes were torn from the screen and snapped to the woman again. "Can you imagine being pregnant and working a full time job?"

Jenna was still for a moment, before she slowly shook her head. "Of course not, right? It would be such a burden. Wouldn't it be easier to be a stay at home mom instead?"

Jenna's eyes flicked up to the screen again, a woman baking now, playfully wiping some flour onto a young child's cheek. Jenna gave a shaky nod. "And Tyler,"

He bolted up at the sound of his name, eyes on her in an instant. "Wouldn't it be easier for you to... complete your part of the job, were you to have less stress on those shoulders? You could even give Jenna a hand from time to time!" The images on the screen switched from a group of men playing golf, to a sweet image of a father tucking his daughter into bed.

"The idea behind Mulberry Street is to take away the worries of all else. Allow young people to focus on what really matters." She said, putting her hand over her heart and looking as if she might shed a tear. "Making connections, and providing for their - no, our future."

When she finished, the screen cut out, and Tyler felt that going from the pastel perfect images to a harsh emptiness of the black screen might as well be emotional whiplash. He stared at himself in it's reflection, wide eyed and unblinking, completely gripped.

Shit.

Tyler had never wanted anything more in his life. Sure, the perfect houses all lined up on the street has a little corny, but that's not really what he was looking forward to. Tyler thought about the only thing waiting at home for him. Ruby. The AI voice, ready and waiting, counting down the seconds until she could tell him about his debt again.

His lips had gone dry, and he ran a tongue out to lick them, eyes still glued on the screen. "Please.."

Jenna's head snapped to look at him, and it was only then that Tyler realised he had said that out loud. This seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he had been in, and he cleared his throat.

The woman sitting across from them let out a girlish giggle, a little too high pitched for Tyler's liking and that seemed to ground him a bit. "Well I can see someone is a bit interested," She said towards Jenna, who met her giggle a little bit too eagerly.

It was a bit of a blur after that, mainly because Jenna did most of the talking. They were asked about how they met, when exactly they started dating, everything. Right down to intimate questions about their sex life. Tyler had flushed crimson at this, but Jenna answered with practised ease, sounding so convincing that Tyler believed she could make him think they were a couple if she spoke for long enough.

"I think that's about all we have time for today," The woman summed up after a while, taking the copious amounts of notes she had scribbled and filing them away. After a beat, she stood from the desk, extending a hand out to Jenna.

"I would like to formally welcome you to The Mulberry Street Initiative."

Chapter Text

Bright. Everything was so... bright.

Josh opened his eyes, the same bright yellow ceiling greeting him like it did every morning. He could already smell coffee in the air, the sounds of the birds chirping outside, and he knew Debby must be up. In fact, only a moment later he heard her sweet voice coming from the kitchen, humming along with the radio.

Josh sat up, eyes bright. He had slept like a log for a full 8 hours, the same as he always had since he came here 6 months ago. Twisting in the bed, his feet touched the soft wood floors, heat radiating up from under them, making it so so much easier to get out of bed.

"Joshie?" Came the girlish voice from the kitchen, reacting to the creak of the bed. "Are you up?"

He made his way over to the window, admiring the hydrangea bush right outside. Cracking it open, he let the floral aroma enter the room, the soft sun bathing his skin in warmth and comfort. He couldn't help but breathe happily through his nose, feeling a sense of contentedness deep within his soul.

"I'm up Debs, going for a run soon" He called back, only to hear her hurried footsteps approaching before she slid to a stop in the doorway. "Nuh uh uh," She said with a pout, Josh's oversized shirt hanging off her otherwise naked body. "You're not going anywhere without breakfast."

Josh couldn't help but laugh, rolling his eyes as he stretched his arms above his head, satisfied at the tension leaving his back. "Whatever you say, Miss Dun."

-o-o-

That morning had gone the same as any other. After a quick bit of breakfast, Josh had made his way down the colourful street, jogging lightly at first before breaking into a full run around the park. He waved to everyone, regarding them with a cheery 'Good morning!' to a few 'So good to see you!' for the people who's names he actually knew.

It was still a lot to take in, and there were a lot more people living here than he had thought. When he had applied six months ago, he thought it was an actual street, but Josh and Debby were both surprised to find out it was more of a small town, and it wasn't the only one. The Mulberry Street Initiative had been so successful in its mission, many other small towns had been set up across the country, each as successful as the last.

Josh slowed to a stop, his chest heaving as he looked at the smart watch on his wrist, taking note of his heart rate, time and speed. He was getting better, his muscle building out nicely over the past six months. Raking a hand through his curly hair, Josh slowly made his way over to a drinking fountain, stopping for a break and a much needed drink.

"Good morning!" A smartly dressed couple said to him in passing, and Josh hurriedly swallowed the refreshing water in his mouth, his hand coming up to wipe his chin before he waved back, echoing the greeting. They didn't stay to talk, smiling brightly at him as they moved about their day.

Everyone was so nice, Josh had felt at home from the day he had arrived. Of course, they had been briefed when they arrived, married quickly and told to take as much time as they needed to settle in. The main goal for the first year was to 'discover who they were under all the stress of the outside world', and Josh was doing just that.

He had discovered, without the heavy financial strain on him, that he loved fitness. He had taken to running each and every morning, followed by a short session at the gym. The results had been amazing for only 6 months and he had bulked out quite quickly, now almost double the size he was when he first entered.

Another surprising thing he had discovered a passion for was music, much to Debby's dismay. He had tried about 10 different instruments before settling on, of course, the noisiest one. The drums were something Josh had no interest in even trying on the outside, but in here, he couldn't get enough. He only wished there would have been someone to play with, test out his new skills, but everyone he asked seemed a bit wary, so Josh was left to play along with backing tracks alone. Sometimes Debby sang along, but not too often.

Once Josh arrived home, he was greeted by the smell of freshly baked goods. Debby was singing in the kitchen again. She hadn't noticed that the front door had opened, and her voice cracked on a particularly high note. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped, and Debby's head suddenly appeared in the door frame to the kitchen, her smile bright. "Home already?"

She had taken to baking with all of her newly acquired free time, and Josh was secretly happy that he had discovered his love for fitness so quickly, otherwise he'd be weighing a lot more now.

She scurried over to him, holding a slice of... something, and Josh barely had time to react before a bite was shoved into his mouth. All at once, the succulent taste of lemon and cream, soaked into the most moist cake, filled his mouth. Josh went wide eyed, raising his hand to his mouth to stop from dropping some crumbs.

"Debby," He began, swallowing greedily and finding the giddy way she stuck out her tongue particularly adorable. "That's amazing!"

"We have more," She practically sang, making her way back to the kitchen and Josh followed her, eyeing the cake on the counter. Taking a knife into her hand, she began to cut him a slice.

Josh watched her for a moment, admiring the way her long brown hair cascaded down her back, now looking a lot more voluminous and silky than it had when they had first arrived here. Making his way behind her, Josh put his arms around her waist, closing the distance between them.

But Debby stiffened. The same way she always did.

Josh continued, taking a moment to move her hair away from her neck, his lips only an inch away, but he stopped when he noticed that all her actions had halted, her grip knuckle white on the knife in her hand. "You okay?" He asked. He was sure she could feel his breath against her skin, and wondered why it had no effect on her.

"Y-Yeah just," She took a moment, and Josh could see her reflection in the knife, her brow furrowed, thinking. "You're all sweaty," She continued after a beat, beginning to pull away from him, a fake laugh forcing it's way out of her. She turned in his arms, booping him on the nose.

"Go shower, stinky. I'll prepare something for lunch." She had her warm smile back, but it didn't reach her eyes. Josh couldn't help but mirror the expression, although his smile faltered a bit when she turned away, worming herself out of his arms. Josh gave a nod, though she didn't see it, and turned to exit the kitchen again.

It somehow always ended up this way. It had been 6 months already, but for some reason, Debby didn't seem to be able to warm up to him. Sure, there had been times when he also wasn't... able to perform, but Josh was getting a bit worried. As he ascended the stairs and made his way to the bathroom, he chewed his lip in thought. Sure, they had a whole year to figure this thing out, but what would happen after that? They hadn't even consummated their marriage yet.

Once he was showered and feeling refreshed, he entered the kitchen again, towelling his hair as he sat on a stool by the breakfast bar. Almost on queue, Debby set a plate in front of him, a hearty sandwich and some light and crispy pan fried potatoes, Josh giving a thanks in return.

"By the way," Debby began, turning to the sink to fix him a glass of water. "There are new people joining tonight, so there will be another ceremony in the town square."

Secretly, Josh wanted to groan at the news. It's not like he had much planned for the day, not without the weight of a full time job on him anymore, but he had been planning to stay in with her, maybe cook for her. Something romantic. "Do we have to go?" He asked, popping a small piece of potato into his mouth as he contemplated giving up the evening he had planned. Debby scoffed, turning and setting the cold glass of water down on a flower shaped coaster next to his plate.

"Josh... You know the rules." She said, her tone stern as she took a cloth, wiping the breakfast bar absent mindedly. Josh thought in that moment that she looked more like a bartender, rather than his wife, and then he remembered that she had been, on the outside. It must have been a hard habit to break. "No one's allowed to skip."

That was right. Josh had been asking more as a joke, but he knew full well that they were contractually obligated to be there once a month when the new recruits came in. There were a lot of things they were contractually obligated to do, but now wasn't really the time to unpack that.

"Any idea how many?" He asked after a moment, continuing with his meal, although he was already getting full, his large breakfast from only hours ago still carrying some weight in his stomach.

"I think they said 6? I'll be honest, I wasn't really listening," She said after a moment, motioning to the small 1950s style radio on the counter. It looked vintage, but Josh knew that was only for show, the sound out of it crisper than any speaker he had owned on the outside. "I usually switch over to the music when the news comes on."

She had a look in her eye as she watched the radio, and Josh couldn't tell if it was worry or... something else. Something was hidden beneath the surface, but Josh didn't push, not wanting her to tense up like she usually did.

"Any idea where they're putting them?" He asked after a moment, done with his meal with half a sandwich and a handful of potatoes still on his plate. The light lavender house next to their yellow one had laid vacant for 6 months, and with Josh and Debby being at the end of the street, this effectively meant they had no neighbours.

Debby's eyes wondered back to his, now a bit softer, relaxed. "Like I said," She continued, noticing the left over food and taking his plate. "I wasn't really listening. Although.." She made her way over to the trash bin, dumping the remains in there as if the amount of food left over wouldn't feed another person. "There's not many places left, so I bet we get neighbours this time," She sounded giddy, and Josh smiled.

Of course, he wanted that too. It had been pretty much just them for the past 6 months, save for a few occasions when they had gone out to mix and meet the other couples. They hadn't fully clicked with the other residents just yet, and Josh thought that must bother Debby, being cooped up here with him this whole time. She was probably missing her girl friends.

“Think of all the Sunday barbecues,” He said after a moment, still watching as Debby returned and set the plate down in the sink. “Although.. we wouldn’t really have to wait until Sundays now that we don’t work.” Josh thought out loud to himself, and she laughed, turning to him with a large smile. It wasn’t too often that Josh got a smile like that from her, the feeling almost reassuring as he matched it.

-o-o-

After lunch, Josh and Debby had spent the rest of the day doing their own thing. Josh had decided to practice on his drums, working up enough of a sweat that he had to take a second shower. He wasn’t sure what Debby had been up to, which he thought might be odd seeing as they lived in the same house together, but when she finally cracked the door to his music room, she looked fully ready to attend The Welcoming in the town square; a long flowy summer dress adorned with pink and yellow flowers, some heeled wedge shoes and a small bag over her shoulder.

Josh only noticed her out of the corner of his eye, immediately pulling his headphones off when she started saying something he couldn’t hear.

“...What?” He asked, face innocently clueless as she gave him a deadpan look. “I said, it’s almost time to go. Hurry and get ready, Joshie.”

Josh wasn’t sure if he liked the nick name, but he smiled regardless, turning his vinyl record player off and setting the headphones he had been wearing back on their stand.

He opted for a pastel pink button up, sleeves short with a pair of black chinos. He sprayed his cologne once he was dressed, enjoying the bergamot scent for a moment before leaning into the mirror, examining his face.

Josh was not vain, but he couldn’t help but notice how good he looked. His skin had a certain glow that had been missing on the outside, no longer gaunt and sunken. His perpetual eyebags were gone, eyes bright and full of life again, and he tousled his hair with one hand, enjoying the fullness of the curls.

“Are you gonna kiss your reflection?” Debby’s voice came from the doorway, and Josh bolted up, cheeks reddening a bit at her amused expression. “N-Not at all,” He peeped quietly and she took a step towards him. He turned to look in the mirror again.

“...Have you noticed it?” He asked after a moment, and he watched her reflection, her expression confused.

“What, your looks? Yeah, Josh, I’ve noticed.”

“Not that,” He cut in, eyes drifting to his own reflection again, keeping eye contact with himself. “We look... different.”

The mood in the room shifted a bit. Josh could feel Debby tense up a little behind him before she took another step forward, watching her own expression too.

“Yeah... I’ve noticed.” They stood for a moment in silence before Debby turned her head to look at him. “Does it bother you?”

He thought about that for a moment. Did it? Josh wasn’t really sure how to respond. It wasn’t that it bothered him, not at all. In fact, he was feeling healthier and a lot happier about himself since moving here. He was eating well (Debby made sure of that), working out and getting all the sleep he needed. However, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of a tug in his stomach, something uneasy forming there and settling.

“...I’m not sure,” He responded after a moment, before Debby placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him towards her.

“Does it matter?” She asked with a sympathetic smile, her head tilted a little. “We’re happy.”

Were they? Josh glanced sideways at the mirror again, his eyes moving between himself and Debby’s reflections. The whole point of being here, the whole reason for the initiative was to have children, but something seemed off with Debby since they had arrived. She wouldn’t touch him, and the times that they had tried, Josh thought it definitely didn’t feel like she was into it, so he hadn’t been able to...

“Josh?” She asked after a moment, and he turned back to her, eyes wide and innocent before he smiled softly, wanting to quell the look of worry on her face. Her brows softened a bit, but not all the way.

“You’re right,” He said after a moment, and she seemed to relax more, sighing a breath of relief through her nose. Josh would have to be careful navigating the situation going forward. He knew they were both relying on each other, because they were each others ticket to staying here. Moments like this probably scared her.

-o-o-

The town square was only a short walk from their house, but it was enough for Debby to make a passing comment on how she wished she had brought some flats. Josh laughed at this, offering his arm and she gratefully took it.

“Welcome everyone, welcome!” A voice called out over the audio system as they arrived and Debby and Josh hurried a bit to make it into the assembly. The patches of lush green grass scattered around the town square had been commandeered for seating, now full of small white lawn chairs, most of them already housing residents, so Josh and Debby opted to stand at the back, trying their best to look as though they had been there the whole time.

The town square was always decorated nicely for the Welcoming, small fairy lights strung between lamp posts, swaying a little in the mid summer breeze. Josh always enjoyed the sight, sometimes even getting distracted when they jostled, looking almost like fireflies.

The usual table was set up in the back, small treats and appetisers laid out for all in attendance, and on the other side, a bar complete with the best mixologist you’d ever meet. Josh vaguely remembered trying to test him at a previous Welcoming, coming up with the most bizarre drinks just to see if he could make them. It had resulted in Debby being forced to get him home and put him to bed early that night, Josh not remembering much of it.

“Please, make sure you are comfortable. There are refreshments in the back.” The voice came again, and Josh looked towards the MC, a man named Michael who was the head of this particular Mulberry Street. Almost like a mayor, Josh thought to himself.

Once the crowd had quietened down a bit, Josh and Debby now sipping on some unknown ridiculous cocktails they had been handed, Michael continued, running a hand down the lapel of his sleek blue suit.

“Tonight is a special night,” He began, eyes scanning the crowd, as if trying to see everyone there, an impossible task due to the amount of people in attendance. He gave an almost nostalgic smile before continuing.

“It seems like only yesterday we were drawing up plans for the town, and now here we are at our final Welcoming.” He paused again when he heard some concerned chattering around the crowd, bringing up a hand to silence them.

“Now now, before the rumours get started, no we’re not closing down. In fact, we are officially at max capacity and the next few guests we introduce, will be our last... unless of course, any of you want to leave?” There was a small wave of laughter that made it’s way through the crowd, almost as if he had just said the most ridiculous, unbelievable thing imaginable, and Michael responded with a cheeky smile.

Josh hadn’t realised he was holding his breath, but hearing the news actually made him sigh with relief. It would have been a disaster to discover that the town was shutting down, a disaster that Josh hoped he would never have to face.

Michael waffled on for another 15 minutes, discussing at great length some new stores that had been opened throughout the town, some art exhibits being set up by residents, and a small bar that was scheduled to open the following weekend, right on the town square. All great opportunities to socialise and get out there, Michael made sure to remind them.

Josh had taken another drink from a passing waiter at this point, now sporting two of the same comically colourful cocktails, one in each hand. Debby had looked at him a bit incredulously, but laughed with him in the end.

“...That concludes our news section,” He continued eventually, walking more to the left side of the town square before looking back over the crowd. “But that’s not really what you’re here for, right?” The crowd responded with some chuckles, and Michael continued.

“Okay, let’s bring them out. Everyone, please put your hands together for our last 6 residents,” Michael called, and they did just that, clapping lightly as six people shuffled into the light, looking both tired and alarmingly awake all at once.

Josh scanned them, his heart sinking a bit as he remembered where they had just come from. He felt Debby’s hand tighten around his forearm and he looked over, already knowing he would be met with a pained expression. He knew she had the same sentiments in her heart.

The 6 people on stage looked gaunt, all sporting the same, drab shades of grey, white and black. While it was easy to tell that they had tried their best to dress up for the occasion – some of the women even wearing dresses – they still somehow came off as underdressed and even shabby in some cases.

Michael began to make his way down the line, introducing each new resident and asking them a few questions about themselves, pointing the microphone in their direction when they had something to say.

Third drink for Josh now. He was finally beginning to feel a bit tipsy, and Debby had warned him that it was his last one, albeit with a lot more amusement than she had probably wanted. He had agreed; they were coming up to the last couple anyway.

Josh took a moment to scan them both, sipping from the silly straw in his cup. The woman was strikingly beautiful in a way that Josh could appreciate without it feeling weird or objectifying. She had been one of the few people to wear all white instead of grey, and Josh had to appreciate her effort, a nice form fitting dress coming down to just above her knees.

She introduced herself as Gemma.. or was it Jenna? The alcohol was making Josh’s brain a bit fuzzy, but either way, it suited her perfectly.

She had her hands interlocked with a man of equal height next to her, and Josh took a moment to look at him. He was probably the scruffiest of all 6 people on stage, sporting a pair of grey jeans that were ripped at the knees, a plain white sweater and a pair of sneakers that desperately needed to be replaced.

“And our final new resident,” Michael began as he approached him, stopping in his tracks and giving the man a look up and down before turning to the crowd, whispering into the microphone. “I think someone missed the dress code.” The crowd laughed at this, and Josh looked back to the guy, whose face was now flaring up, his ears turning red a moment later.

“I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding,” Michael waved it off, slapping the guys arm playfully. Josh could almost swear he saw him wobble on his feet, but he played it off pretty well. “Please, tell me your name, Mr...?”

Michael moved to point the microphone at him, and a sharp, high pitched screech rang throughout the air when the guy leaned in, feedback loud and unrelenting. The crowd groaned in unison, many hands coming up to block ears before Michael pulled the microphone back, grimacing a bit. After a beat, he spoke again.

“Okay, lets try that again, Mr...?” He said with a small laugh, reaching the microphone out, more cautiously this time.

“Joseph. Tyler Joseph,” Was the small reply that rang out, and the crowd gave a few awkward claps.

Tyler Joseph. Josh ran the name around in his head a couple of times, enjoying the way it sounded before the conversation up front started again.

“And, Tyler Joseph, what do you do for a living?”

Tyler seemed to take a moment to think this over in his head, before leaning in again. “I’m a musician.”

A musician? Josh thought, surprised at the answer. Once the cost of living had soared, the arts were the first professions to die, and having that thought made him realise that Tyler was likely answering based on what he did before his life went to shit.

The crowd had ‘oooh’d a bit at this, some people straightening up to get a look at him. It wasn’t really out of interest per se, but more to see if they could recognise him, because if someone nowadays said they worked as a musician, it usually meant they were successful in their endeavours and made a lot of money. However, no one seemed to recognise him, some people even slumping back into their seats, looking disappointed.

“Oh, does that bring in the big bucks?” Michael continued, and the crowd snickered a little here and there, because with the shabby way Tyler was dressed, there was no way that could be the case. Tyler had opened his mouth to answer, now looking a little miffed at what seemed to be a constant stream of mockery from Michael, but the microphone was pulled back, the MC instead turning to the crowd again.

“Whatever the case, that’s it for our new residents, please put your hands together for them.” The crowd did just that, and Josh couldn’t help the way a small bubble of amusement formed in his stomach, giggling a little when he noticed how Tyler turned and whispered something angrily into Jenna/Gemma’s ear.

The night went on like any other, Josh and Debby had grabbed a bit of food, and even though Debby had been insistent on Josh not drinking anymore, he now sat with his fifth drink, sipping it quietly as Debby pointed to another one of the newbies, excitedly murmuring something about how pretty she was going to look after a couple of weeks.

Josh thought it was a bit odd, but it was one of their usual activities when they found themselves in social settings like this. ‘People watching’ he had heard Debby call it once, almost as if they were at the zoo.

“Oh oh, that’s, um... Tyler, was it?” She said after a moment, nudging Josh’s arm. Josh looked up, watching as Tyler made his way to the refreshments table, eyes hungrily taking in the food there. It was probably more than he had seen in months. His thin fingers picked up one of the paper plates, and almost like a small animal, he began to fill it with small cheeses and meats, pausing for a moment as if he wanted to take more, but was trying to restrain himself.

“He seems a bit odd, doesn’t he?” Debby had asked, looking around. “And where’s his wife?”

“Gemma?” Josh replied, slurring a little. Debby slapped his arm playfully. “Her name is Jenna and yes, her.”

Josh didn’t respond. He had the strange urge to approach Tyler, to see if he was okay or if the introduction had been a bit harsh for him, but once he saw Tyler sit at a table not too far from them and dig into his food, he decided against it. He was probably hungry, and Josh didn’t want to add to the discomfort by looming over him while he ate.

“I really want to meet her,” Debby said after a moment, sipping her drink with a small hum and grabbing Josh’s attention again, tearing his eyes away from Tyler to look at her. “Who?”

“Jenna,” She said with half annoyance half amusement. “Y’know, the woman we were just talking about?” Josh gave a thoughtful nod, his eyes scanning out over the crowd before he spotted the blonde, currently chatting with a small group of women near the bar. Josh motioned in her direction and Debby’s eyes followed, lighting up when she saw her. She bounced up to her feet, leaning over to give Josh a quick kiss on the side of the head before looking him in the eyes. “No more drinks, okay? Be good while I’m gone.”

He gave a simple nod, crossing his heart and putting his hand up in scouts honour before she smiled with a nod and made her way over to the bar to join the other women.

Josh was left to his own devices then, sipping quietly before, like an automatic reaction, his eyes flicked back to Tyler. He was finished his food now, sitting there and looking over the crowd of people, his brows dipped in worry. Josh thought it was a little endearing the way Tyler would side eye the buffet every now and again, as if he hadn’t quite eaten enough.

He had an idea then, rising up from his chair with a little wobble, grabbing his plate of leftover food and making his way over, his steps feeling slow and deliberate. Once he reached the edge of the table, Tyler was still turned slightly, his eyes scanning over the table of food again.

Josh cleared his throat a bit, before leaning to set his glass on the table. “Hello,” was his simple greeting, and Tyler’s head snapped towards him, looking startled and as if he might bolt out of his seat like a baby deer. To Josh’s surprise, he didn’t do this, but instead watched as he sat down, setting his plate down in front of him.

“Tyler, was it?” He asked after a moment, lifting a fork as he moved some of his food around absent mindedly. He had no intentions of eating any more, but Josh thought it would be a little insulting if he just came over here and offered him scraps, so he wanted to make it look like he was at least in the middle of his meal. Tyler gave a small nod, his eyes flicking down to the food before looking up to Josh again.

Josh leaned over the table, extending his free hand. “My name’s Josh,” He said, and after a moment, with something similar to suspicion flittering in his eyes, Tyler closed the distance and took it, shaking lightly. It wasn’t much, but it was definitely a start, and Josh was happy with that.

They fell into another small bout of silence before Josh set down his fork, sighing a bit louder than needed and rubbing his stomach. “Well, I hate to see this go to waste,” He sighed, and Tyler looked over to him. “But I’m stuffed. Want it?”

“You didn’t eat any of it,” Tyler responded after a moment, tilting his head curiously, and this caught Josh off guard, he looked up, blinking in response.

“Huh?”

“You didn’t eat any of it.. since you sat down.” Tyler’s voice was quiet, his eyes looking between the food and Josh. There was an awkwardness that settled between them, and Josh felt his cheeks flare up a bit, bringing a hand up in an attempt to cover it.

“...I’ll take that as a no.” Josh replied, looking over to Debby who was chattering with the other women, laughing every now and again, and Josh felt a bit jealous of how easy it seemed to be for her. To Josh’s surprise, Tyler laughed a bit, leaning over and dragging the plate of left overs towards himself with a thin finger. “I still appreciate it,” Was all he said, as he lifted his fork and began to eat. This calmed Josh a bit, and he smiled gratefully at the forgiving tone Tyler had.

Just then, Michael sauntered towards the table, a Martini in one hand and his tie now undone, hanging over his shoulders. “Tyler!” He called enthusiastically as he slumped into one of the chairs. “I see you’ve met your neighbour, Josh.”

Tyler blinked and stiffened a moment, looking towards Josh with surprise. “Oh, you didn’t know?” Michael continued, sipping the last drops of his Martini, tilting the glass up to get every last bit.

“Shit, I must have forgot that part. Anyway,” He took a moment to wipe his hand lazily over his mouth. “Tyler, your house is ready for you and Jenna and if you need anything, Josh here will be happy to help. He’s been here a while,” Michael looked as if he was losing interest in the conversation now that his glass was empty, not even waiting for a response before he lifted himself out of his chair, quickly distracted by another guest.

Josh wanted to say something, but he practised some restraint, thinking to himself that even while Michael had seemed to pick out Tyler and give him a hard time, it probably wouldn’t be very nice if Josh badmouthed him here. Tyler would probably get the wrong impression of him too.

“Man, what a dick,” He heard Tyler say after a while, setting down his fork now what he had finished eating, finally looking satisfied and a bit more relaxed. Josh looked at him again, dumbfounded before they both laughed.

“I like the honesty,” Josh said, sipping the last of his drink now, and he was sure he saw Tyler turning a bit red. “Listen, Ty.” He began again, and Tyler lifted a brow at the sudden nickname, but said nothing. “The transition into this place is a bit... hard. Debby and I would be happy to help if you need anything.”

He motioned over to Debby then and Tyler’s eyes followed. She was beginning to make her way over to them as they spoke, Jenna in tow. Once they reached the table, both couples now together, Debby let out a small laugh.

“You boys getting along?” She asked, slumping into a chair next to Josh, looking tired but still a bit buzzed, and Josh nodded happily. “By the way, Jenna and I will be going shopping tomorrow. You guys should come along too.”

“Ohhh, please, it will be so much fun!” Jenna sounded excited, tugging at Tyler’s arm. He rolled his eyes but there was still the hint of a smile there, and he nodded, Jenna clapping a bit in response.

Debby yawned then, raising her arms over her head and stretching. “Joshie, it’s getting a bit late..”

“Right, we should probably get going.” Josh replied, raising from the table and taking another glance towards the other two. “So, we’ll see you tomorrow then?”

Tyler gave him a small smile. “Tomorrow,” he agreed.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t long before Tyler and Jenna had decided to call it a night too. They had been promptly escorted back to their house, a large two story in a soft lavender colour, down one of the streets called Wisteria Way. Tyler briefly wondered which one was Josh and Debby’s, looking to the right at the yellow house, or the left at the light green house. Either way, he was too tired to worry about that.

Even on the best of nights, Tyler never got enough sleep. He had always found it hard to schedule himself around his 10 hour work days, always getting home too late and always having to be up too early. So, when they made their way through the front door, Tyler’s limbs felt heavy, and he would have collapsed onto the plush couch he could see in the living room had Jenna not been excitedly tugging at his arm.

“Tyler, please... just look at the kitchen!” She squealed in excitement, dragging him over. Tyler begrudgingly followed, feet sliding across the hardwood floors in the direction Jenna was dragging him once he had kicked off his shoes by the front door.

“I bet they have all the new appliances,” She said giddily, finally entering the doorway of the kitchen and gasping a little. The floor was tiled in a soft cream, a small kitchen nook in one corner flanked by a breakfast bar. The lights came on then – Jenna having found the switch – and Tyler noted that the decor felt a bit 1950s, albeit with a much more futuristic edge to it.

As Jenna ooh’d and aw’d at everything, Tyler made his way over to the fridge, watching the small LED screen on the front light up as he approached.

“Good evening, Tyler Joseph,” The voice called, and Tyler felt a shiver run down his spine. The voice sounded exactly like Ruby.

Jenna had spun around at the noise, coming to Tyler’s side to examine the screen with him. “Good evening, Jenna Joseph,” The voice called again when she reached him, the name still sounding very weird and uncomfortable as Tyler felt Jenna stiffen next to him.

It had all been very rushed, but once they had been accepted into The Mulberry Street Initiative, Tyler and Jenna had been given a week to get themselves ready to move. This involved packing up what little belongings they had, saying goodbye to their family and friends, and most importantly, getting married.

The ceremony had been quick and inexpensive, and if Tyler and Jenna had been in any way actually romantically involved, it would have been disappointing. Of course, it had been paid for by Mulberry Co, and all they had had to do was show up to the small office, sign some papers, take a few photos and be on their way. Tyler had actually been a bit thankful that it was quick.

However, Jenna had had a lot of issues with the marriage. Of course, she did not mind going through with it. Doing so to get into Mulberry Street had been her idea, after all, but she had made a small request that, in all honesty, she had been talked out of unfairly.

Jenna had wanted to keep her name, and Tyler of course had no problem with this. However, their sponsor for their transition, the same blonde woman who had interviewed them – they had learnt her name was Ivy – had told Jenna that this was ‘not very traditional’ and that there were no other women in Mulberry Street that had done this.

And so Jenna had caved, not wanting to jeopardise their spot, giving up her maiden name, Black, and taking on Tyler’s name, Joseph. She tried to seem as though it didn’t bother her, but Tyler could tell that it did.

Without saying much, he tapped on the screen, quickly changing the settings so that Ruby would only call them by their first names. Jenna gave a thankful rub to his arm, before the system spoke again.

“Good evening, Tyler and Jenna. Can I get you some refreshments?”

Tyler looked to Jenna at the question, and her face was curious, thinking. “Can I get a... banana milkshake?” She asked, obviously searching for what she deemed to be the most random request, testing the system.

To her surprise, Ruby gave a short “Coming right up!” and then – silence. Tyler leaned into the fridge, ear pressed against the door and he swore he could hear... something. A small whir of motion, a mechanical hum before the speakers gave a small ‘ding’ noise and Ruby’s voice spoke again. “One banana milkshake, ready,”

Near the fridge’s door handle, a small panel of the metal lifted and revealed a compartment that now housed a tall glass, filled to the brim with a creamy light yellow liquid, complete with a pink silly straw. Jenna tentatively took the glass, bringing the straw to her lips and sipping.

Her eyes slipped shut and she gave a small hum, breathing out her nose in something akin to satisfaction. “That might be... the best milkshake I’ve ever had.”

Over the next 40 minutes, Tyler and Jenna had taken turns ordering various drinks from the fridge, finding it particularly exciting when they discovered it could serve ice cream too. Now, they sat on the floor of the kitchen, half a dozen glasses scattered around them, empty. Tyler had a spoon, digging it into a large tub of ice cream and bringing it to his mouth before he handed the frozen treat to Jenna.

“I think... I might be sick,” She said with a grimace, but it didn’t stop her from taking the tub, scooping out some more and eating it. Tyler gave a soft chuckle, licking his spoon greedily before lying back over the cool tiled floor of the kitchen. Despite eating so much ice cream, the indulgence of the whole scene was making him feel warm, and he set down his spoon, bringing a free hand up to rub some sweat from his forehead. “Same, same,” Was all he could mumble back in his sleepy stupor, and he heard her set the tub down before she leaned to sit back against the cabinets.

A comfortable silence washed over them then, and Jenna hummed out in satisfaction, waiting for a moment before she spoke again. “So, shopping tomorrow,” Was all she said and Tyler raised his head to eye her curiously. “You excited?”

“Yeah.. I guess,” He thought about it for a moment. “But did you see the clothes these people wear? It’s a little flashy for my taste.”

Jenna made a noise that sounded like a mix of a laugh and a sigh. “C’mon Ty,” She began, leaning forward a bit and crossing her legs against the tiled floor. “It’s good to try something different, now that we’re finally here.”

He thought about that for a moment. Wasn’t this all... a little different? It had been years since he had the satisfaction of a full stomach, the comfort of a warm house. So wasn’t that enough? Did he have to change everything all at once?

He gave a small hum of agreement and sat up, running a hand through his scruffy brown hair as he met her eyes. “I’ll try.” He responded after a moment, giving a sheepish smile as she responded with a wide one of her own. “Shouldn’t we get to bed? Sounds like we have a lot going on tomorrow.”

In all honesty, he was exhausted. It had taken a lot to get here, and Tyler’s eyes flashed up to the fridge screen, the clock reading 2:57am. Almost a full 24 hours awake. He briefly recalled where their journey had started, getting a cab to a small plane that had flown them... well, he didn’t really know where. It had all been a bit secretive and Tyler and Jenna had been surprised to find out that the locations of the various Mulberry Streets were actually unknown, so they could have been in another country for all he knew.

Jenna stood after a moment, stretching her arms over her head with a groan before she reached her hand forward, helping him up. “C’mon, lets get to bed.”

-o-o-

When they arrived at the door to the bedroom, they both stood there a bit awkwardly. The large double sliding door still shut in front of them. There was a strange stiffness in the air and Tyler shuffled on his feet.

“Is there another bedroom?” He asked after a moment, and Jenna turned to look at him assertively, her expression exasperated. “Really, Ty? We used to live together, c’mon.”

She took his hand, sliding open the double doors with a bit more force than intended and they jostled on the tracks, coming to a halt with some small thuds. The bedroom was magnificent, and they both stood there for a moment in awe. The carpet was a plush white, leading up to a four poster bed, two large dressers with mirrors mounted on the walls above each of them. On the opposite wall, there was another plush couch and if Tyler was being honest, it looked just as good as the bed when he thought about sleeping options.

“Wow,” The soft noise fell from Jenna’s mouth, and she stepped in, taking a moment to enjoy the softness of the carpet under her feet before she moved further. Tyler followed, making his way towards the bed and reaching a hand out, running his thin fingers over the soft duvet cover. One touch was all he needed to know that he would be sleeping very well tonight.

“Oh, Tyler look,” She called for his attention again, lifting something soft and fuzzy out of one of the dressers. Tyler scanned them for a moment, noticing perfumes and make up set out on the dresser to the left, and colognes on the dresser to the right, a little card on each with the words ‘His’ and ‘Hers’ on them.

As Jenna unravelled the fabric, it turned out to be a plush pyjama set, and she laid it out on the bed scanning it for a moment. Tyler went to what he assumed was his dresser, and opened the top drawer, surprised to find numerous sets inside for himself too before he lifted one out, his fingers running over the fabric, softer and more expensive than anything he owned himself.

“This would probably cost a whole days worth of food,” She said to him, picking up the top of her pyjamas and lifting it to her body. “And it’s my size too,”

Something about it made Tyler feel a bit uneasy, but he didn’t reply. It sounded like Jenna was more talking to herself out loud anyway.

“I’ll go get changed in the bathroom,” She said after a moment, scooping up the pyjama set and making her way through the en suite door. Tyler quickly stripped his shabby clothes, pulling on his own set before she came back out, laughing a little in surprise.

“This might be the comfiest thing I’ve ever worn, Jenna,” He said when she reached the side of the bed, and she nodded enthusiastically. “It feels like a hug,”

“Like a thousand hugs, all at once.” Jenna laughed, climbing onto the bed when she pulled the sheets back. The duvet was thick, and the pillows were plush, and Jenna sunk into them, sighing out something that was full of deep satisfaction. Tyler felt jealousy flash through him, and quickly followed, both of them lying face to face after a moment, smiling in sleepy giddiness.

“We made it,” Jenna yawned, reaching out to take Tyler’s hand and squeeze it tightly. “Now there’s nothing to worry about.”

It sounded like she was already drifting off, and Tyler gave a small nod, squeezing her hand back. “Yeah, nothing to worry about,” He lazily replied, before he too slipped into blissful sleep.

-o-o-

It felt like he had only just closed his eyes, when suddenly he opened them again, and he was awake. Morning had come, and Tyler sat up on the bed, surprised to find that the back pain he had developed over years of sitting in office chairs was significantly less prevalent today. Looking to his right, he smiled at a still sleeping Jenna, opting to slide quietly from the bed in an effort not to wake her.

As he entered the en suite, Tyler took a look at himself in the mirror. It was edged with bright lights, something that would usually be helpful when shaving or doing makeup, but right now, all it highlighted was every imperfection on his face, from his sunken cheeks to his eyebags and bloodshot eyes.

The mirror itself was also smart, and before he could really do anything, lights lit up around the border, small widgets and metrics popping up. “Good morning, Tyler!” The voice called, and Tyler quickly jabbed his finger on the volume button, decreasing it in an effort not to wake Jenna in the next room.

“The time is 11:51am” came the voice, a lot quieter this time. Tyler’s jaw dropped, it was almost noon. Had he really slept that long? It certainly felt like it, his mind feeling more aware and alert for the first time in years.

The mirror hadn’t said anything else. No reminders of debt, no reminders of work, and Tyler was grateful. Deciding a wash was best, he stripped off his soft pyjamas before stepping into the shower. There were multiple different switches and Tyler messed around with them for a moment, the temperature falling on something he found comfortable, so he turned to the many soaps and shampoos that covered one of the tiled walls, picking out something orange scented and lathering it into his hair.

Once showered, Tyler shut the water off, grabbing a towel from a rack he didn’t realise was heated until he wrapped it around his waist. He could hear movement from the next room, and silently placed a hand on the door, calling out. “You up, Jen?”

“Yeah, you can come in,” Was her sleepy reply, and Tyler pushed the door open, catching her sitting crossed legged in front of her dresser, clothing of all colours scattered around her. Tyler laughed at the sight, taking a step towards her. “Do we even need to go shopping?”

Jenna looked over her shoulder at him, a pout on her face. “Well, yes,” She said, her eyes searching for a reason. “because...”

“Because?” He asked after she was quiet for a moment, now making his way over to his own dresser, curious about what clothes they had supplied him with.

“Because none of these clothes are my style,” She looked satisfied with her answer, almost proud, and she went back to rummaging around.

“Jenna, we’re too poor to even know what our style is. We just buy what’s on sale.” He said with a laugh, satisfied when she balled up one of the blouses and through it at him, hitting his chest and falling to the floor with a small ‘fwump’.

“Not anymore,” Was her simple reply, and Tyler decided not to push it any further, laughing as he began to poke around in his own dresser.

There were t-shirts, sweaters and button ups in every colour imaginable, the next drawer housing a wide variety of jeans, chinos and shorts for when it got warm. Tyler dug around for a bit, his eyes absent-mindedly making their way over to his scruffy clothes from the outside, still laying crumpled and forgotten on the floor. He took a step towards them, reaching out and-

“Don’t you even think about it,” Jenna’s voice interrupted and he pulled back, almost as if he had been burned. “Tyler Joseph, you have a whole dresser full of new clothes and you’re reaching for your scraps?”

She looked incredulous, and Tyler felt a mix of guilt and shame bubble up in the pit of his stomach. He hadn’t even been sure if he wanted to wear them yet, but Jenna had already made that decision for him. “S-Sorry,” Was his only reply, and she smiled, looking equally as guilty as he felt.

“No, it’s okay, just...” She bit her lip, motioning to his dresser. “Try to find something you like,”

-o-o-

Once showered and dressed, Jenna sporting a summery pair of white shorts with a flowing top, and Tyler having decided to go with a blue graphic tee and some light shorts, it was already well past noon. Jenna had voiced a concern that Josh and Debby probably thought they had forgotten about the shopping, and she urged that they go next door to check in with them. Jenna thankfully knew that it was the yellow house they lived in.

They stood there now, having rung the doorbell and waiting for an answer, but Tyler could hear music coming from inside, maybe a little too loudly for their presence to be known.

“Oh, Tyler, Jenna,”

They heard an out of breath voice coming from behind them and both turned in unison to see Josh, shirtless and sweaty, shielding his eyes from the summer sun, something Tyler thought was a little silly when he was wearing a backwards cap and a pair of sunglasses on his head. “We thought you had forgotten.”

He was approaching them now, walking up the front steps of the porch and digging into his pocket for the keys as he gave them a warm smile, his eyes bright and full of amusement.

“No, no, not at all,” Jenna began, moving to tuck some blonde hair behind her ear. “It was just... a lot to take in this morning.”

Josh nodded thoughtfully, giving them a knowing smile. “The clothes, right?” He said with a breathless laugh.

“And the fridge,” Tyler replied, earning himself a beaming laugh from Josh, who turned to him before pushing the door open, the music from inside ringing out a bit louder now. Tyler couldn’t help but notice how when Josh smiled, it really reached his eyes, and he looked so carefree.

“Debby,” Josh had called out, motioning for the other couple to enter and they did so, Debby’s form appearing in the kitchen door not a second later. She had an apron on, and at first Tyler thought she might be cooking, but it was covered in random paint splotches, an easel set up in the kitchen with... something painted on it.

She gave an excited greeting and motioned for Jenna to follow her, which she did and they both made their way to the kitchen, Debby excited to show Jenna her new creative pursuits.

Josh and Tyler were left in the entry, the silence a bit awkward before Josh turned, scanning him a bit. “Nice shirt,” Was the only thing he said, and Tyler paused for a moment, looking down at the graphic on his front and suddenly feeling a bit self conscious. Maybe he should have spent a little longer deciding on his outfit.

“Uh, thanks.” He replied, and they shuffled around a bit, the silence becoming suffocating.

“Well.. I’ll go get ready then.” Josh mumbled, and before Tyler could even say anything, he turned and ascended the stairs, Tyler left there feeling like he just did something wrong.

-o-o-

After stopping for a quick lunch – breakfast for Tyler and Jenna – they had made their way down what Debby had described as ‘Fashion Street’ – not it’s actual name, but something Debby had christened it when she first moved here due to the numerous boutiques and little clothing stores they passed.

The girls were walking ahead, arms linked as they chattered excitedly, giggling from time to time. Josh was walking awkwardly next to Tyler, sipping lightly on the iced coffee they had stopped to get, the noise ringing out in the silence when the liquid was fully drained from the cup.

“So Tyler,” Josh asked after a moment, and Tyler gave him a small sideways glance to let him know he was listening. “Is there... anything in particular you need?”

“Uh, Jenna says I need new clothes.” He had responded, and Josh side eyed him curiously. “So, you don’t want new clothes?”

“No, I guess not,” He replied honestly before he caught himself. “I mean, I guess I have enough at the house.”

He had never been one for overconsumption, having learned to live within his means over the past couple of years, teaching himself to never want anything. So what was he supposed to do now? It wasn’t like it was a switch he could turn off overnight.

“Yeah but,” Josh began again, pausing to take a sip from his clearly empty cup now, still trying to suck up the last few drops. The sound was beginning to annoy Tyler a little. “That’s all the basic stuff they start you with. Why don’t we just look around and see if there’s anything you like?” He asked curiously. Tyler thought about this for a moment before he relented with a small ‘fine’, something that Josh looked satisfied with.

After Josh had called ahead to Debby, letting her know they were detouring into one of the men’s stores – Debby hadn’t even turned, just waved her hand over her shoulder, to engrossed in conversation with Jenna – they made their way through two large glass doors, Tyler thankful to be inside somewhere with air conditioning.

Racks were littered all across the floor, each one full from front to back with options and Josh immediately went for the first one, pulling out a green sweater. He held it up for Tyler to see, his head tilting curiously.

“What about something like this?” He asked, and Tyler shrugged. “Not a huge fan of the green.”

And that attitude seemed to set the mood. Josh went through a number of options, trying many different styles, only to be met by the same bored tone from Tyler, sometimes finding that he even came off standoffish.

After dozens of options, Josh gave a small huff. “Look man,” He began, defeat finally evident in his voice. “This would go a lot easier if you just told me what kind of style you liked.”

“I don’t have a style I like. No one can afford ‘likes’ on the outside, or have you forgotten that since you’ve been here?”

His tone had been a little too harsh, and Tyler immediately felt guilty when he saw the worried look on Josh’s face, but he said nothing more, moving instead to sit on a small bench in the middle of the store. Josh stalled for a moment, before making his way over to him, sitting next to him and remaining quiet for a beat.

After a while, he tried something else. “I know the transition is hard,” He began, idly messing with the plastic cup still in his hand, his fingers fiddling with the straw. Tyler thought he would continue, so he didn’t reply, letting the silence weigh on them until it became too much for Josh.

“Look, all we can do is try. So why don’t you just take it slow. Pick out one thing you might like.” In all honesty, the idea wasn’t a bad one, but Tyler still huffed, something almost like what a child would do before he turned to Josh. “I don’t know how.” was all he said.

Josh accepted the answer, standing up before he looked around. After a moment of silence, Tyler’s curiosity got the better of him. “What are you looking for?”

“Well, if you can’t pick out something yourself, I’ll pick out something for you,” Josh said with a smile before his eyes locked onto something at the back of the store and he began to walk. Tyler followed, not wanting to be left on his own. “I don’t think that will help, Josh,” He called, but he was met with a cheeky smile, Josh coming to a stop next to a rack that had a few button ups, some sporting flower patterns and pastel colours, and some in more muted tones, plain and simple.

He dug through the rack, letting out a soft ‘here!’ when he found what he was looking for, and he lifted it for Tyler to look.

It was a cream coloured rugby shirt, button up at the front and sporting tulip decals. Tyler eyed the piece for a moment before he huffed, noticing the length. “It’s too short, at least get one that will fit me,”

“It’s cropped, dumbass,” Josh replied with a smile, of course only joking, but Tyler scowled in response, snatching the fabric out of his hands roughly.

He didn’t know why, but he was annoyed. When he had heard that the girls wanted to shop, he thought it meant just that; that the girls would be doing the shopping. He hadn’t quite been prepared for Josh to be so pushy, and it was beginning to grate on him.

“Fine, and if I agree to get this stupid shirt, will you let it go?” He said, his tone annoyed now, and Josh’s smile faltered a bit, giving a small nod.

Tyler turned on his heel, intending to make his way to the... wait. Where was the payment counter? He turned to Josh, annoyed that he was slurping through that fucking straw again, and asked him. “Where do I pay?”

Josh couldn’t help but laugh, maybe not realising that it might be a little condescending to someone who was clearly having a hard time adjusting to a new way of life, so he might not get it.

“We don’t pay for anything here, Tyler. You just take what you need.”

The idea was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. There were people starving on the outside. People working 2 full time jobs to make ends meet, and yet in here, there seemed to be enough to provide for everyone, maybe some of it even going to waste.

Tyler bit his tongue. It wasn’t the time, nor the place, for these thoughts. Instead, he made his way to the exit, grabbing one of the small bags near the door and shoving the stupid shirt in before he left, intent on throwing it into the back of his closet once he got home.

Chapter Text

Josh felt stupid. Something he had done, or said, had annoyed Tyler, and he couldn’t exactly pinpoint where their little shopping excursion had gone wrong. Was it the shirt, did he really not like it that much? Or perhaps, was it something he had said?

Josh knew that moving into Mulberry Street was a very difficult thing to do, he had been through the process himself only 6 months ago, but he had never reacted that way when someone had tried to help him. It was honestly a bit rude. Tyler didn’t seem to realise the amazing opportunity he had been given, and if Josh was being honest, it wasn’t really his job to get that into Tyler’s head.

After a moment, he moved to follow Tyler out of the store, finally dumping his plastic cup in one of the trash cans outside.

The rest of the shopping trip had gone by agonisingly slowly, the awkward tension between Tyler and Josh not helping much, and if the girls had noticed, they didn’t bring it up.

Debby had reminded them they needed to get new phones too, and after an hour in the electronics store and two new phones later, Jenna and her were exchanging contacts. Josh didn’t dare ask for Tyler’s new number, only worried that he would somehow piss him off more.

When they decided to part ways, Jenna was carrying half a dozen bags or so, and Tyler still had just the one, offering to take some from her as they made their way into a small restaurant, bidding the other couple goodbye for the evening.

Debby almost squealed when they were out of earshot, wringing her arm in Josh’s as they made their way back home. “That went so great!” She said excitedly, quickly taking out her phone and tapping the screen, checking to see if Jenna had messaged her already despite the fact that they had parted ways not even five minutes ago.

Josh looked to her, trying his best to match her smile, and Debby’s giddy expression dropped. “I knew it,” She began, her brows dipped in worry. “You hated it, didn’t you? Oh, I just knew there was something off with you and Tyler.”

Fuck. How could she read him so well. Josh rubbed through the back of his curls, looking guilty. “I’m not sure what went wrong...” Josh began, recalling the memory to her as best he could, telling her about how angry Tyler had been in the men’s store.

Debby gave a thoughtful hum when he finished, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. “He is a bit strange isn’t he?” She asked, and Josh nodded, something fluttering deep in his ribs when he remembered Tyler’s angry expression. What was that? He shook off the feeling.

“But, I bet he is just having a really hard time,” She said again after a moment of silence.

“Either way, I don’t think it will be all sunshine and friendship for us,” Josh replied, hands digging into his pockets in defeat as they continued their walk. Debby tutted in response, disappointed. “But I’m happy for you and Jenna!” Josh was quick to correct, and she seemed to soften at that.

Josh would never be the type of husband to forbid his wife to make friends, in fact, he was honestly so happy that she would have someone to get out of the house with, having been cooped up there for far too long.

Debby beamed at this, quickly falling into a long string of sentences, telling him all about Jenna. Her likes, her dislikes, where she grew up, her relationship with Tyler. At this stage, Josh couldn’t help but notice that Debby seemed to know more about her than she did her own husband.

“She said they’ve been together for like, 10 years. 10 years and never married, can you imagine? And to think we were engaged within 2 months.”

Josh hummed at that, zoning out as he thought about how Debby and him had met. It had been a bit of a whirlwind romance, meeting on a popular dating site and shacking up within only a month. Of course, they had not been intimate with each other, at least not yet, as Debby had made it clear that she wanted to save herself for marriage. It was right around that time that Josh had decided to propose to her, knowing that it was what she ultimately wanted. But was it what Josh had wanted...?

“Josh, are you listening?” Her voice cut through his thoughts again, and Josh’s eyes snapped to hers, surprised.

“Y-Yeah,” He tried to lie, but Debby tutted, thinking for a moment before she smiled at him. “It’s okay, I know you’re tired. It was a bit of a long day.”

Almost like a reflex, Josh felt himself yawn as they turned the corner onto Wisteria Way, continuing. “Yeah, I’m sorry. Zoning out a bit.”

Debby brushed past it, repeating what she had said earlier. “What I was saying was, it’s your birthday in a couple days, is there anything you want?” She repeated herself, eyeing him curiously.

Josh’s immediate thought was very simple actually. He would like a friend, and with that thought he realised something. He was lonely. He faked a smile then, taking Debby’s hand and leading her up the front steps to their porch.

“I’m sure whatever you get me will be perfect.” He said, bringing her hand up to kiss the back, his lips brushing her soft skin lightly.

-o-o-

The next few days had gone by without much news. Jenna and Debby seemed to go for daily lunches, and when the two girls weren’t together, they would often see Jenna dragging Tyler around the town, into various stores and restaurants, frequenting the small amusement park down by the pier. Josh found it funny, Tyler always looked so grumpy, scowling or pouting, and most often than not, a mix of the two.

But the morning of Josh’s birthday arrived without trouble, and he felt himself being nudged awake, which was unusual for Debby to do as she always let him rest on the rare occasions that she was the first to wake.

“Joshie...” She called when his eyes refused to open, and Josh tugged the blanket up over his head, muttering something about ‘5 more minutes’ and he heard her giggle. “Joooosh, happy birthday!” She almost sang in his ear, and Josh felt a shiver run down his spine, whipping the blanket off his face then and eyeing the clock.

“Debby... it’s 5:30am.” He said after a moment, and she pouted. “Well, when my husband wakes up every morning at 6am, I have to get a bit creative.” She said, poking his arm. “Besides, I have someone I want you to meet,”

Okay. His curiosity was peaked at that, and Josh sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he felt Debby’s weight leave the bed. She made her way over to the door, laying her hand on the handle before she paused, turning back to him. “Happy Birthday, Josh!”

And with that Debby opened the door. He certainly wasn’t ready for what happened next. Wasn’t ready for the flurry of golden fur that hit his chest, knocking him back onto the mattress, winded. “What the-” Josh began before he heard it, cut off by a loud bark as he finally realised, locking eyes with the golden retriever on his lap, tail wagging fiercely and tongue sticking out. He had a red bandana around his neck, a golden bone shaped tag that read the name ‘Jim’ nestled into the fabric.

After a moment of the two staring at each other, Josh raised his hands, face cracking into a smile as he began to pet Jim behind his ears. The dog responded by lurching forward, tongue coming out to lick Josh’s cheek playfully.

“Do you like him?” Debby asked, coming to kneel on the bed next to them.

“Debby, he’s perfect. Aren’t you Jim? Who’s perfect?” Josh said through laughs, his playful voice and tone causing Jim’s tail to wag impossibly fast. Debby seemed pleased with this, nodding to herself at a job well done, her hand moving to rub Jim’s back once before she slid off the bed.

“Right! You two better not spend anymore time in bed, I have a special birthday breakfast to prepare downstairs,” She said as she moved to the door. “and I expect you both to be down in the next 15 minutes,”

Debby looked at them strictly, and Josh gave a firm nod before she left. He would have no way to express it to her, and she would probably never realise, but she really had fulfilled his unspoken request he made that day when she asked him what he had wanted for his birthday. How she had done that, Josh had no idea.

-o-o-

A couple of hours into Josh’s birthday morning, he was sat on the ground of the living room, tugging on a rope with Jim, who was eagerly trying to overpower him, tugging it back when the doorbell rang. Debby looked up from the couch, lowering the Mulberry Co. fashion magazine she was reading to eye him curiously.

Standing upright, he put a hand up, telling Jim to “Stay,” and watching with satisfaction when the dog did just that, sitting firmly in place with his tail wagging.

Josh made his way over to the door, pulling it open when he was greeted by the last face he had expected to see on his birthday. Tyler stood there for a moment, looking desperately awkward and holding a small bag in his hands, Jenna coming up the porch behind him, holding what looked to be a basket of cookies.

“Happy birthday!” She said, pulling Josh into a one armed hug. It was a little overly familiar for his liking, but Josh said nothing, allowing it to happen only because she was his wife’s best friend at this point.

Josh’s eyes moved to Tyler, who hadn’t joined in the celebratory greeting, and was instead just looking down at his shoes. Josh felt that flutter in his chest again, wondering for a moment if it might be fear? Was he scared of this guy?

Pushing it down, he invited them in, Debby rising from the couch now to greet Jenna, taking the basket from her and muttering something about how sweet she was, and that she really didn’t have to.

It was a wonder what a couple of days could do, Josh thought as he scanned the other couple again, noticing how well rested they looked, their faces fuller and a little brighter than before. Of course, you could still tell that they weren’t here long, Tyler’s clothing in particular mismatched and looking a bit awkward on him, but Jenna at least seemed to be quicker to fit in.

Jim gave a bark behind them, still sat in the same place as before and getting a bit impatient from the lack of attention. The women were instantly around him, oohing and awing at the good boy, and he seemed happy enough with that.

With a glance back to Tyler, Josh’s smile faltered. He was intently staring, making Josh feel incredibly awkward.

“Happy birthday,” Tyler muttered after a moment, practically shoving the bag he was holding in his hands to Josh’s chest. Fumbling to grab it, Josh mumbled a small ‘thanks’ in return and peered inside, retrieving a small beaded bracelet, an alien head right in the middle. With a quirk of his brow, he looked to Tyler again.

“It’s flashy. Like you.”

Josh really wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or not and when he thought on it a while longer, Tyler really seemed to be more of the alien type than he did, but he smiled regardless, slipping the bracelet onto his wrist and adjusting it with a small ‘thanks’. Glancing back over to the women and seeing them still enamoured with Jim, Josh took a step forward, continuing in a hushed tone.

“Listen, about the other day-”

“It’s okay,” Tyler cut him off, raising a hand to stop him. “It was... I was in the wrong.”

But his face certainly didn’t say that. His brows were dipped in what Josh thought might be annoyance, but he didn’t question it, backing up instead to raise his hands defensively. With that thought, he outstretched one hand. “Truce?”

“Truce.” Was Tyler’s simple reply, taking the outstretched hand and shaking it lightly.

-o-o-

It was opening night at the new bar on the town square. Debby had organised that they all go together to celebrate the night, and while Josh was looking forward to it, it was a bit dampened by the fact that Tyler and Jenna were joining them.

Of course, Josh had no problems with Jenna at all, and even though they had called a truce, he couldn’t help but notice that Tyler was very much a wet blanket to be around. Something about his posture, his mannerisms, made Josh imagine that there was a constant grey cloud over his head, and he sighed now, sitting at a table with him as Debby and Jenna had left to get some drinks.

“Soo...” Josh began after a couple of moments, fiddling with a stray plastic straw on the table. “Are you enjoying your time here so far?”

The question was innocent, and Tyler glanced up at him, very slight amusement in his eyes. “I guess so,” was his short response, and then silence again, the music from the bar filling the empty space between them.

Josh sighed, causing Tyler to look up again. “What, not a satisfying answer?” He looked like he was feigning innocence, and this annoyed Josh even more, his usual friendly demeanour slipping for a moment.

“No, not really. Do you even know where you are?” He snapped back, and Tyler’s mock innocence immediately turned into a frown, questioning. “This is like, the happiest place on Earth, dude. Could you at least try to enjoy it?”

Tyler scoffed at that, his hands idling with a beermat on the table, pout evident. There was something about the expression that Josh liked, so he continued.

“You always look pissed off, like Jesus man, there are people out there that would kill to be in your posit-”

There was a sudden bang, and Josh jumped. Tyler had slammed his hand down on the table, scowling deeper now. Luckily the music from the bar had mostly drowned out the noise, but Josh no longer liked the expression, and they stared at each other, a moment of silence stretching.

“Are you delusional?” Tyler asked, and when Josh opened his mouth to answer, Tyler continued. “Does it not bother you, that there are people out there, willing to kill for this?”

Josh turned the question over in his head, a familiar feeling of anxiousness bubbling up in the pit of his stomach, no longer settling but growing bigger this time. He didn’t like that feeling, and he suddenly felt uncomfortable, opting instead to try and put his mask back on again with an awkward smile.

Tyler noticed, and he laughed, the sound bitter and venomous, looking as though he finally understood something. “Oh my god,” He began, leaning forward, his eyes fierce and burning. “You’re in complete denial, aren’t you?”

Josh didn’t answer, cheeks burning. He didn’t really know how to answer. Breaking eye contact with Tyler, he shuffled out of his seat, mumbling something about needing to find Debby before he left, Tyler’s laugh still ringing in his ears.

What the hell was this guys problem? Surely he was some sort of... sociopath or something? Josh felt the anxiety again, burning in the pit of his stomach as he made his way around the bar. He briefly wondered if he should tell someone, tell a higher up, or even Michael himself, that Tyler seemed to have something very wrong with him.

But he was brought out of his thoughts when he found Debby, standing at the bar, drink in hand and half finished as she spoke with Jenna, the two girls giggling about who knows what. Josh took one step towards them, but froze.

Debby’s hand raised from her side, moving to tuck some blonde hair behind Jenna’s ear, no stiffness in her posture at all, and Josh felt himself go cold, something deep down clicking into place with him.

He turned on his heel, heading instead to the front door of the bar. When he pushed it open, the coolness of the night hit his skin, and Josh was thankful, the hustle and bustle of the bar behind him muted and softened.

There was no way what he was thinking was true. Josh cursed himself. He was always the type to jump to the wrong conclusions, and here he was doing it again. He made a mental note to get that checked out, it being a habit he so desperately wanted to shake.

But he couldn’t help thinking about it. The motion had been close, intimate even, and Josh felt a chill of uncertainty wriggle it’s way up his spine. Surely it wasn’t...

“Still thinking about it?” He heard behind him, and Josh spun around, watching as Tyler came out the front door of the bar.

“N-No, I couldn’t find her.” Was Josh’s immediate response, mind filled with Debby, and Tyler paused, looking incredibly confused. “...What?”

“Nothing,” Josh was quick to correct and he turned away. He didn’t like Tyler. Didn’t like the way he seemed to be able to read him. Didn’t like the way he so easily removed Josh’s mask and left him feeling uncomfortable, vulnerable even.

“You’re weird.” He heard Tyler say behind him, his footsteps coming up beside him as Tyler tried to look at his face.

“I don’t like you,” Josh whispered, arms crossing his chest defensively when Tyler came into view, his hands shoved into his red track jacket, tugging it tighter around himself.

“Yeah, well, I think I hate you,” Tyler replied matter of factly, his expression blank. “In fact, I think I hate everyone here.”

“Then leave.”

There was silence then, and Tyler almost looked insulted, or hurt, before he brought his face back to neutral. He gave a small ‘tch’ through his teeth, and turned away from Josh again. However, he remained there, looking up to the moon for a moment, almost searching for something.

“It’s no better out there,” was his response after some time, and Josh looked over to him, annoyed.

“That’s what I’m saying, you need to unders-”

“Listen, Josh.” Tyler interrupted him again, and Josh huffed but allowed it. “I don’t know what this place does to you, I just got here,” He paused, kicking at a stone on the ground, jacket wrapping tighter around himself, protective. Josh couldn’t help but notice the softness in his voice, almost melancholic. “But surely you haven’t just... forgotten everything out there.”

Josh hadn’t. He would probably never forget but he didn’t see the point in dwelling on it, now that he was here. Didn’t like the emotions it made him feel. He wanted to open his mouth and say something, but Tyler continued.

“I can’t help but think about... Everything.”

Josh felt something tug inside him, right in his chest, mixing with his anxiety, blending into something he had no words for. An emotion he couldn’t put a name to. His mouth had gone completely dry, and when he went to say something, the door to the bar suddenly burst open again, two familiar giggly voices sounding out.

“That’s where you guys went!” Debby called to him, her girlish voice loud and jovial, edged with drunkenness. Josh looked to her, eyeing the way her arm was linked in Jenna’s before he turned to them completely, fake smile back on.

“Yeah, just came for some air.” He responded with a wave. He glanced back to Tyler, who was shaking his head disappointedly, turning away from the scene.

“I’m, uh... not feeling too well.” Josh began, lying again, and Debby frowned deeply. “Do you think we could go?”

“But Joshie, it’s your birthday,” She responded, her voice almost a whine. Josh would usually find that endearing, adorable, but right now it seemed to grate on him, his nerves wearing thin.

Even so, he played it off, running a hand through his curls before Debby huffed. “Okay okay, birthday boy, let’s get you home.”

And with that they bid goodnight to the others, flagging down a cab. The drive home was quiet, Debby and Josh sat on either side, looking out separate windows. On Josh’s wrist, the small alien bead glinted, feeling heavy with the weight of everything.

Chapter Text

“What about... this one?”

Jenna held up another glass bottle, lifting one of the small paper testers and spraying the cologne before she waved it about, ‘airing it out’ as she had explained before. She raised it to Tyler’s nose and he cringed, the smell strong and pungent, almost like an assault on his senses.

A laugh escaped Jenna then, watching his expression with amusement. “Are you ever going to let up and relax?” She asked, setting the bottle down again.

Tyler was trying. He really was. Over the past couple of days, he had enjoyed the meals, enjoyed the full nights sleep, and even started to enjoy the short walks around the town, feeling lighter and overall in better spirits.

But he still couldn’t shake it. The weight of absolutely everything. Knowing that while they were in this little bubble, in this town cut off from everything on the outside, there was still so much suffering out there.

In his thoughts he saw his face then; Josh, looking wounded like a puppy, his spirits dampened by Tyler’s words. He knew he shouldn’t have said the things he did, and Tyler had been feeling incredibly guilty about it, but there was something about Josh in particular that made him want to tear that stupid mask off, made him want to open his eyes to the world around them.

They hadn’t exchanged any words since that night. Tyler would often see him around the town, running with his dog, but he was mindful to avoid crossing his path wherever possible, not wanting Josh to spy the guilt on his face, to read the regret in his voice.

“Come on, maybe there’s something else we can do,” Jenna voiced after a moment, tugging her leather purse back up onto her shoulder and turning to leave the department store. Tyler followed, tucking his hands into his pockets in defeat.

“So, what do you think of Josh?” Jenna had asked once they were outside, and Tyler thought about it for a moment, unsure of what to tell her.

Of course, Tyler would usually tell Jenna everything, usually divulge all his secrets to her, but he hadn’t said a word about the exchanges with Josh so far, because Tyler knew it would worry her, knew that maybe if he rocked the boat too much in the initiative, he could get himself and Jenna removed.

“I don’t know... He’s a bit... strange.”

Jenna quirked a brow at this, looking over to Tyler but not wanting to pry too hard. Instead, she brought her manicured nails up, scanning them in an effort to look nonchalant. “Oh?”

“He seems a bit awkward.”

“Tyler, you’re the awkward one.” She said after a moment, looking at him deadpan. Tyler opened his mouth to disagree, but closed it again. Was he? Maybe Josh’s words had been true that night. Was Tyler supposed to just... enjoy all of this, regardless of the suffering around him? And if he couldn’t, did it really make him the strange one?

“Maybe,” Tyler began, glancing to her again. “I’m just finding it hard to let go.” He said, a half truth offered to her in an attempt to quell the nervous energy she was giving off.

She stopped then, turning to him and putting her hands on his shoulders. “Listen, Ty. We’ve been given a good opportunity here. Please, can we not mess it up?”

Tyler knew she wasn’t really including herself in that ‘we’. It was a small warning, or maybe a plea, to him and all he could do was nod, looking a bit sheepish, embarrassed.

-o-o-

Tyler had taken her plea seriously, and on one of the many occasions that Jenna was out with Debby over the next couple of days, he found himself in the back yard, lounging on a sun chair by the pool. Idly, Tyler scrolled through his new phone, but he sighed at how boring it turned out to be. He was quick to discover that the phone had limited internet access, only able to download pre-approved movies, TV shows and music, and while some of Tyler’s favourite artists were available, there were many that were missing.

As for news and current events, something Tyler had always kept up with on the outside, his access in here was limited to things going on with the other residents, new businesses opening and any changes to their current contracts.

He had also been disappointed to find that any attempts at communication to any phones that were not built and purchased by Mulberry Co. was strictly not allowed. He had already tried, a painful pang in his chest when he realised it would be quite some time before he could speak to his family again. Of course, he had prewarned them that this might be the case, but it didn’t help the disappointment he felt when he had discovered it.

From the next garden over, he heard a loud bark, interrupting his thoughts. Tyler sighed. No matter how loud he turned up his music, it didn’t seem to help, his Mulberry Co. earphones having a soft cap on the volume, so as not to damage his hearing he had been told. He could still hear every noise, or maybe he was tuned into it. Either way, each bark or ‘good boy!’ Josh returned grated on his nerves and it wasn’t long before Tyler was standing, removing the earphones from his ears and making his way to the fence.

“Could you keep it down?” He called out, and Tyler felt the air freeze, no response. That was, until Josh’s face appeared just over the barrier, eyeing him curiously.

“It’s 3 in the afternoon and I’m out with my dog, what do you want me to do?”

“Keep it down, like I asked.”

Josh seemed to scowl at this, and he disappeared again. However, Tyler heard him after a moment, muttering something in excitement to Jim before the dog was set off into a string of barks, loud and unrelenting.

Tyler huffed, fully convinced that his neighbour was doing this on purpose, targetting him specifically to piss off and it was working.

He made his way back inside, crossing the kitchen and entrance quickly before he exited the house again, this time setting his sights on the front door to the yellow house. Once he reached it, he wrapped on the door, waiting patiently as he heard footsteps approach.

Josh answered, and for a brief moment, Tyler felt his mind go blank. He was shirtless, small beads of sweat running down his heaving chest as Josh took a moment to catch his breath.

“Oh Tyler, long time no see.” Josh said, a small look of annoyance creeping onto his face as he leaned against the door frame. “How can I help you?”

Tyler scowled at this, arms crossing his chest, a motion somewhere between feeling self conscious and trying to collect himself. When he scanned Josh again, he noticed that he was wearing the bracelet Tyler had given him on his birthday, and he remembered where they had left things last time they spoke. In Tyler’s anger, he had forgotten about his pact with himself to avoid Josh where possible.

He opened his mouth, but no words came out and for a second, a flash of worry made it’s way over Josh’s face. “Tyler?”

Damn it. His voice was full of concern and that didn’t really help. The idea of Josh being concerned for him only annoyed Tyler more and his brows dipped, his mouth finally moving.

“I asked you to keep it down.” was what he managed, maybe coming off a bit too quiet and meek for his liking, but he stood firm.

Josh’s concern was gone then, scoffing as he took a moment to scan Tyler once more. “Dude, it’s the middle of the day.” Josh continued, looking a bit smug. “What are you going to do, contact the home owners association?”

His voice was different now and something about it satisfied Tyler. He was no longer pretending, no longer straining to hold back anger, no longer sounding like his jolly neighbour. There was something real there, annoyance or even hate, that Tyler found more refreshing than Josh’s usual fakeness.

A moment of silence fell over them, Tyler’s anger meeting Josh’s taunting in the middle, clashing somewhere between them and fuelled by... something Tyler was having a hard time identifying. Whatever it was, he saw it flash in Josh’s eyes too, only for a moment, before Josh broke their eye contact with a shake of his head, suddenly looking flustered.

“Just get out of here man,” Josh began, but he sounded less hostile now, almost pleading, as he stood back into his house, the door shutting with a thud.

Tyler stood there, an angry fire still bubbling in the pit of his stomach as he watched the door, almost trying to memorise the space Josh had just been, almost as if it hadn’t registered with him yet that he had gone, retreating into his own house again and he wasn’t coming back.

Something settled over Tyler. Something that felt an awful lot like victory, or pride, but he wasn’t 100% sure. Either way, it brought butterflies to his chest and he turned and made his way back home, happy with the fact that he hadn’t said much for his neighbour to back down and looking forward to some peace and quiet, finally.

-o-o-

That was, until the next day. Tyler had been making some lunch for himself in the kitchen when he heard it, the loud honk and a girlish ‘woo!’ coming from the front street, and he set his knife down, making his way to the window in the living room to peek out the curtains. He vaguely heard Jenna asking him what he was doing from the couch, but he ignored her.

“I can’t believe it.” He said after a moment, and Jenna rose from the couch, making her way over to the window behind him.

Josh was pulling into his driveway, sitting and grinning widely behind the wheel of a red 1977 Ford Bronco, Jim in the passenger seat. Debby greeted them by the door, clapping excitedly as Josh revved the engine loudly, earning an excited bark from his passenger.

Tyler rolled his eyes before looking back to Jenna. She gave a small smile in response. “Nice car, huh?”

“Are you serious?” Tyler replied, deadpan. “He’s clearly doing this to get to me.”

There was a long stretch of silence then, Tyler looking back out the window with a small ‘tsk’.

“Okay, Ty. You’re going to have to explain that one to me,” Jenna prompted from behind him, voice filled with concern, tinged with a little bit of worry as if he had just said something that was making her question his sanity.

Tyler turned to her, opening his mouth to respond, however he remembered that he hadn’t actually told Jenna about the interactions he’d had with Josh so far.

“N-Nothing, I just,” Tyler huffed, moving away from the window then. “I just don’t like him.”

“Well, why not?” Jenna asked after a moment, almost looking incredulous, worried. “He’s a perfectly nice guy, Tyler. What have you suddenly got against him?”

Tyler chewed his lip for a moment. He had to admit, keeping things from her had been getting increasingly difficult, and he was starting to break, was starting to lash out – usually in Josh’s direction – without really meaning it.

“Okay, but don’t freak out.” He began, moving to sit on the couch as he watched Jenna go wide eyed, standing in front of him now with her hands on her hips. “Tyler Robert Joseph, you better not give me a reason to freak out in the first place.”

He was distracted by that, because Tyler couldn’t help his mind wander, thinking about how good of a mother Jenna would have been had she not entered the initiative under false pretences. Shaking off the thought, he swallowed, spilling everything. He told her about their first meeting, about the shopping trip and about the things he had said to Josh on his birthday. About how guilty he felt about it.

Somewhere along the way, Jenna had sat across from him and when he finished, he could tell by her dipped brows and the way her nostrils flared that she was furious.

There was a long silence, and when it became to much for Tyler and he opened his mouth to talk, Jenna put a hand up to silence him, looking at him, her icy blue eyes penetrating.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Tyler opened his mouth to reply, but his throat was dry and before he could get anything out, Jenna continued.

“Do you realise where we are, Tyler? Do you realise what will happen if we get kicked out?”

It took everything he had not to scoff at that, keeping his face neutral in spite of her dramatics. “Jenna, come on-”

“Tyler, I’m serious.” She cut across him again, voice angry and firm now. “All it would take would be a formal complaint from those two,” She motioned over her shoulder in the direction of their neighbours house. “And we would be at risk.”

Tyler thought about this for a moment. Would Josh really complain about him? He hadn’t threatened, hadn’t been violent or hadn’t even said anything too untoward, but he definitely had made Josh uncomfortable.

Jenna stood again, gathering her phone and keys from the coffee table before she made her way to the front door. Before she left, she turned to him again, frowning deep.

“I understand that you might not care,” She said, her voice strained, edged with worry as if she was trying to hold back tears. “and I understand that you think this is all bullshit, but if you get yourself kicked out, you get me kicked out too. Maybe think about that next time you decide to ruin other peoples fun.”

And with that she left, front door slamming behind her before Tyler even had a chance to respond. He sat there in silence, watching the door, as if expecting her to come back. But she didn’t, and Tyler was left there, his guilt doubled to the point that his stomach ached with the strain of it.

-o-o-

It had been three days and Tyler still couldn’t stop thinking about it. When Jenna had returned after their argument that day, she had barely spoken a word to him and three days later, Tyler was still getting the same treatment. He knew he should apologise, knew there was a lot he needed to fix about his attitude, but he just couldn’t bring himself to talk to her. Not yet, because the guilt was still simmering just below the surface, still making it hard to even think about.

Tyler knew he had to adjust, and quickly. As he walked down the street, wanting to get out of the house and get some fresh air, he thought about it. He had lived the past couple of years in survival mode, lived life on a leash, and it was something he was finding hard to break.

But he had to. Not only for his own sake, but for Jenna too.

He had to drop whatever defence mechanism was causing him to behave this way, had to drop any pretences he had about this place and most importantly, had to drop the survivors guilt he was carrying in his chest.

And so Tyler had gone out, first to the hairdresser to try something new. He had left with his hair trimmed and styled, tips dyed blonde and as he caught his reflection in a passing shop window, he couldn’t help but glance, admiring how it looked on him.

Next were his clothes, and if he was being honest, this was something he had found much easier to do on his own. No one there to push options onto him, to make him try something he wasn’t comfortable with. He had glanced at himself before leaving the store, a pair of smart shoes, plain black pants and a white, short sleeved shirt tucked in to complete the look. Smart, casual and most importantly, clean like he had wanted. Nothing flashy, nothing attention grabbing, just... him.

As he made his way back home, Tyler made a mental note. It was time to start enjoying himself. He had already taken the first steps, his little retail therapy session replacing the normal guilt he felt in his chest with something warmer, lighter, even if it would only end up being temporary.

Walking up the steps to his porch, Tyler glanced sideways, noting that Josh’s red Bronco was missing from the driveway and all was quiet. He dug into his pocket for the keys, unlocking the door and pushing it open.

“Jenna, I’m ho-”

Tyler froze in the doorway, eyes meeting Jenna’s from where she was on the living room sofa, her face flushed, lips red and eyes wide. Next to her, was Debby, looking equally as shocked, and for a long, long moment, none of them said anything.

After what seemed like forever, Tyler kicked the door closed behind him, throwing his keys down on the small table next to the door and eyeing the scene again, this time noticing how dimmed the lights were, the two half finished glasses of red wine on the table and how Debby seemed to practically shake in her seat, a hand coming up to nervously fix her hair.

Tyler hadn’t seen anything in particular, but it didn’t take much to put two and two together.

“Debby,” Tyler said after a moment, the silence and the awkwardness between the three of them becoming unbearable. In that second, he wished he could have just been a normal guy, gone out for the night with the boys and not come home until long after they had finished... whatever this was. “So good to see you. How’s Josh these days?”

Oh, god. Why would he bring up her husband? Why was Josh the first thing that came to his mind. Tyler felt himself flush, instantly filled with regret, instantly filled with a feeling of dread when he saw Jenna physically stiffen in her seat.

“H-He’s good,” Debby began, rising from the couch. She had stammered a bit, and in spite of her flushed cheeks and clearly kiss bitten lips, she gave a confident smile. Maybe she believed that Tyler was clueless?

Jenna joined her smile, a small laugh escaping her as she stood. But Tyler knew that laugh. It was high pitched, awkward and landed between the three of them heavily, like it didn’t belong. Tyler knew that was Jenna’s ‘Oh shit, act natural’ laugh.

“I was actually just about to go home,” Debby said, shimmying around the coffee table awkwardly, glancing out the window as she passed it. “Is he home? Oh never mind, I’ll have to get dinner started anyway.” She laughed, equally as awkward as Jenna as she made her way past Tyler, reaching for the front door. She paused for a moment then, turning and looking towards Jenna, eyes locked on her, no awkwardness, no remnants of just being caught.

“I’ll... message you later, okay?”

Tyler watched as Jenna gave a firm nod, and with that, Debby was gone, quietly shutting the door behind her and leaving an air of defeat in the room, heavy and thick.

It was another string of silence, and Tyler let it play out, rarely feeling the need to interrupt moments of quiet like this when it was just Jenna and him. When he finally glanced up to her, Jenna looked as though she would crumple at any moment, her shaking hand rising to her mouth, tears in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill.

Tyler crossed the room then, dropping his shopping bags somewhere along the way before he reached her, instantly wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him. And almost immediately, she broke, letting out a string of quiet, gentle sobs that wracked her body, her shoulders shaking.

Tyler tried his best to shush her, tried his best to squeeze her tight, but it was another long moment before she seemed to calm down, adrenaline still surging through her, making her shake. When Tyler looked at her again, he cracked a small smile at the sight of her red face, eyes rimmed and puffy. However, he was relieved that she looked a little lighter, as if a weight had been lifted and she gave another small, shaking breath.

“Jenna, why didn’t you tell me?” Tyler asked after it seemed like she might be able to talk again, and he gently guided her towards the sofa, still warm from where her and Debby had been sat only moments ago.

She gave a watery scoff in response, looking to him as if she couldn’t believe he was asking that. “Ty, how could I?” a few tears spilled here and Jenna shook her head, glancing up to him again. “After how mad I got.. at you, for putting our place in danger here.”

Right. Right. Tyler swallowed hard. He had made great strides the past couple of days, wanting to do right by Jenna, but all of that meant nothing if the problem ended up coming from her instead. He placed a hand over hers then, but he couldn’t help the nervous dip in his brows.

They were married. In Tyler’s effort and rush to quell the tears that had been threatening to fall, he hadn’t really grasped what this actually meant. Jenna and Debby... they were both married women... at least Debby was, in the truer sense of the word. Oh god, Josh...

“I’m so sorry, Ty.” Jenna began again after he had stayed quiet for a beat too long, a fresh set of tears filling her eyes, spilling after a moment. “I don’t know how it happened, I just... She just-”

Tyler rubbed the back of her hand, shushing her softly. There were many questions in his head, circling at a dizzying speed and Jenna’s eagerness to apologise, her readiness to explain, wasn’t helping.

“Jenna...” Tyler finally began and she looked to him, eager for him to say something, anything. “I think you should go to bed. Sleep on this, and we can talk in the morning.”

For a moment, disappointment flashed through Jenna’s eyes, her shoulders slumped. Tyler was quick to correct. “I’m not mad, you just look exhausted.”

That seemed to do the trick, and she let out a shaky laugh, nodding as she tucked some hair behind her ear.

After they exchanged some small ‘goodnight’s and another a small apology from Jenna– which Tyler quickly waved away – they separated, agreeing to revisit this when emotions were not running so high.

But there was no way Tyler could sleep now. After requesting a beer from Ruby, who promptly served it; ice cold and with a lemon wedge, Tyler had made his way out to the front porch, opting to sit and enjoy the beverage in one of the garden chairs they had, his mind racing.

The sky was dark now, like obsidian speckled with flecks of white paint, and Tyler was so distracted, so drawn into his own thoughts, the only sound around him being the slight hum of crickets and the breeze tugging at his shirt, that he didn’t notice someone approaching him, making their way across the property line.

“Hey,”

Tyler jumped, scrambling to catch his beer as his eyes darted over, looking altogether too relieved when he realised it was just Josh. His neighbour gave a laugh then, hands in the pockets of his jogging shorts. “Sorry,”

“You scared the shit out of me, Josh.” Was Tyler’s response, hand on his chest and heart hammering. Josh chuckled again, making his way up the front steps before he paused.

“Mind if I join you?”

Tyler was unsure of what to say, but motioned to the chair next to him, giving permission. Josh moved across him then, sitting with a small huff, his head tilting back to look at the stars. They sat in silence for a short time, both idly watching and enjoying the summer night breeze, Tyler sipping his beer from time to time.

“I need to talk to you about something,” Josh said eventually, breaking the calm. Tyler felt himself freeze. Did he know? Had Debby said something, maybe even confessed? Tyler said nothing, and when the silence lingered, Josh looked over to him, questioning. All Tyler could muster was a nod, and that seemed to be good enough.

“I’m worried about Debby.”

Oh shit. She had definitely said something.

“She was upset when I got home but,” He paused here, and Tyler leaned in, tension thick with worry, apprehension. “She won’t tell me what’s going on.”

Tyler let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, sipping his beer lightly and humming in agreement, a sound that was supposed to convey that he knew what Josh was talking about.

Josh looked over to him then again, real worry dipped in his brows, etching his face and it was the first time Tyler had ever seen him like that, first time he had looked so vulnerable.

“I think she’s upset about you and me,” Josh continued then, turning slightly in his seat. “I think... I think the fact that we don’t see eye to eye...” That was putting it lightly, Tyler thought. “I think it’s upsetting her.”

Tyler could tell it was taking a lot for Josh to say all this, could hear the strain in his voice, and Tyler felt that familiar pang of guilt in his chest, heavy and almost overbearing. When he spoke, it was quiet. “What do you want me to do?”

For a second, something close to annoyance flashed through Josh’s expression, but he managed to smooth it out, breathing once through his nose.

“I think we should try to be friends.” Josh replied, but Tyler saw it, the slight clench in his jaw. Was this really so hard for him? The thought amused Tyler a bit, but he was careful not to let it show.

He thought on this for a moment, taking another sip of his beer before he looked at the bottle, deciding instead to hand it over to Josh in a feeble attempt at a peace offering. His neighbour hadn’t noticed, and Tyler tapped the bottle against his arm gently. Josh looked surprised, breaking into a small smile as he took it.

“Okay,” was Tyler’s simple response, and he watched as Josh took a swig of the alcohol before handing the bottle back. “We can try.”

There was another silence then, and Tyler kept his eyes on Josh, watching his features, seeing that small look of worry lift from his face. He only looked away when Josh glanced over to him again.

“So... You’re a musician?”

Chapter Text

“So... You’re a musician?”

Josh eyed Tyler curiously, a brow raised as he began his small prying, trying to maybe lead the conversation away from the usual volatile topics they spoke about. After a second, Tyler took another swig of his beer.

“I, uh... I used to be. Yes,” Tyler began, looking a bit sheepish, as if the thought of someone handing him an instrument or asking him to sing right now terrified him. “Piano, bass, ukulele, keyboard... anything I could get my hands on, really.”

“Sounds like you’re talented,” Josh replied as he sat back into the garden chair, relaxing now that the tension between them seemed to dissipate.

Tyler looked as if he was contemplating that for a moment, but he waved his hand as if to dismiss the compliment, looking a bit embarrassed instead. A second too long passed, and it was obvious Tyler didn’t know how to take it, so Josh continued.

“I play drums – well, I really only just started.” This seemed to peak Tyler’s interest, and he glanced over, brow raised in curiosity. “What would you say to playing together some time?”

There was a moment when neither of them said anything, the sound of the crickets ringing out in the summer night, a small breeze carrying in the scent of the sea as Tyler finished his beer, now rolling the bottle between his hands. He took a second and then raised his eyes to meet Josh’s again, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“I think I would like that.”

Progress. Josh felt a small warmth in his chest, and he knew that he had made progress tonight. Sure, it could have just been for today, but it was a small victory with his neighbour, and he would take it.

They agreed to meet again over the following days, Josh promising to take Tyler to the small music store near the town square so they could pick up some of the instruments he used to play. Josh had also suggested they practice at his house, so as not to disturb Jenna and to hopefully show Debby that they were getting along better now.

As Josh slipped back into his home, having bid Tyler goodnight only moments ago, he smiled to himself, clicking the door shut behind him. But like an angry parent who had just caught their teenager sneaking back into the house, Debby stood away from the window, eyeing him curiously.

“Were you just out there with Tyler?” She asked, crossing her arms and then uncrossing them, almost in an effort to look natural.

Josh was caught off guard by the question, moving to hang his keys on the small hooks mounted next to the door. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt as though he had walked into something delicate, something that could explode at any minute, almost like a minefield.

“Uh, yeah... we were just talking-”

“About what?”

There was something in her voice that made Josh eye her for a moment, something he couldn’t quite identify. She wasn’t angry per se, but her tone was rushed, as if she needed the answer quickly and couldn’t wait for it. After a beat of silence, Josh began to kick off his shoes.

“Josh...?” She called again, and this time the urgency in her voice had caused it to raise an octave. Josh sighed.

“Debby, I don’t know what the sudden grilling is about,” He began, taking a step towards her but stopping again when he noticed her stiffen, her arms crossing over her chest again defensively. “...but we were just talking, don’t worry. No arguments this time.”

She seemed to relax greatly at that, seemed as though the air deflated out of her lungs all at once before she raised a hand to tuck some brown hair behind her ear, laughing nervously. Josh took the silent opportunity to pry a bit more. “But, y’know, if there is something wrong, you can always talk to me.”

Debby finally met his eyes, and there was something in her look. Something that tugged on her brows, and for a second... Josh thought it looked as if she almost pitied him. The thought was hard to digest. What reason did she have to look at him that way?

After a moment, Debby’s expression smoothed again, and she gave a small smile, breaking the eye contact. “I’m fine, I promise.” She voiced, tugging the green cardigan she was wearing around herself, almost like a protective shell. “I think... I think I’ll go to bed.”

They said their goodnights, Debby heading up the stairs to the bedroom and Josh slumping onto the couch, mind full. Idly, he played with the small beaded bracelet on his wrist, wondering how things had got so tense in a matter of weeks.

-o-o-

Josh awoke the next morning. He must have fallen asleep on the couch and he dug for his phone, eventually giving up on finding it with a tired groan, instead calling out. “Ruby, what time is it?”

The small LED screen lit up over the living room fire place and Josh peaked an eye out, watching as a pixelated scene of the sun rising played out.

“Good morning, Joshua Dun! The time is 9:42am”

Josh groaned. It was late. He hadn’t slept this bad in months, and as he pushed himself off the sofa, his eye finally caught his phone on the carpet, dropped and forgotten at some stage throughout the night. He retrieved it, tapping the screen to confirm the time, but noticing that there was a message from Debby.

‘Didn’t want to wake you. Out with Jenna, be back later!’

Out with Jenna again. Josh sighed, locking his phone and tossing it onto the couch as he stood, arms stretching over his head. While there had been a lot of occasions when Debby had opted to spend the day with Jenna, Josh was really trying his best not to think too much on it. Of course, he was still happy she had finally made a friend in this place, but the thought gnawed on Josh.

It’s not like he had been married before, so he was unsure of how to navigate the situation, but he assumed it was perfectly normal for his wife to spend this much time with a friend, assumed that while she enjoyed the time with Jenna, she still enjoyed the time with him too. Didn’t she?

But there had been the night at the bar, and as Josh made his way to the kitchen, requesting a glass of water from Ruby, the thought of it brought back the familiar uneasiness to the pit of his stomach.

No. He stopped himself, sipping his water as he thought. No. He wouldn’t think like that, didn’t want to think like that. What he had seen that night was no more than a friendly touch, Josh knew that. He was sure he had blown it a bit out of proportion, remembering that himself and Debby were already a couple of drinks in at that stage, so whether it was her being overly affectionate, or Josh being overly critical, it didn’t deserve more thought than that.

Happy with this conclusion, Josh set his glass down, deciding that instead of dwelling on Debby and what might be going on with her, he was instead going to get ready for the day. If Debby would be out with her friend, then Josh intended to do the same.

-o-o-

He wrapped on the door to the lavender house, waiting for a response. The sun was high in the sky now, at it’s peak as it shone down relentlessly, creating that stifling heat there was no escape from.

Tyler opened the door, rubbing sleep from his eyes with a yawn, his hair sticking up on one side. He still had one eye closed at first before he blinked a couple of times, staring at his neighbour.

Josh scanned him, eyeing the oversized orange t-shirt and shorts he was wearing before letting out a laugh. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He paused, watching Tyler take in his words. “Or should I say, good afternoon?”

Tyler froze for a second, his brow furrowed before it knitted in embarrassment, heat rising to his cheeks. “Josh.” He said plainly. Maybe it was intended to be a greeting, but it sounded more like a protest and Josh couldn’t help but laugh again. “Did you really just wake up?”

Tyler rolled his eyes, stepping back into the house and to one side, motioning for Josh to come in. He did so, moving into the hallway and eyeing the house, noticing a blanket strewn over the back of sofa in the living room, two glasses of unfinished red wine still on the coffee table.

“Late night?” Josh voiced after a moment as Tyler clicked the door closed behind him, shutting out the brightness of the sun with a satisfied grunt.

“You could say that.” was the only response he got before Tyler pottered his way into the kitchen, mumbling something to Ruby before he returned with a tall glass of orange juice.

They stood for a second, Tyler sipping before he turned to eye Josh curiously again. “So... what can I do for you?” He asked, his posture relaxing a little.

“I uh... we were going to go shopping?”

Tyler quirked a brow at this, briefly glancing over to the LED screen to check the time before he turned back. “Was that today?”

Silence again, and Josh suddenly felt embarrassed, a little sheepish at the fact that he might have just assumed that Tyler was free without even checking in with him first.

“Ah, well if you’re busy,” Josh began, feeling his cheeks flaring a bit as he took a step back towards the front entrance again.

“No, no,” The protest was small, and Tyler raised his hand, as if willing Josh to just stay put and not bolt. “I just would have made sure I was up earlier... if I had known...” Tyler finished off the glass, voice clearer now, sleep edging away with every word he spoke. “Let me just get ready.”

Josh gave a grateful nod and as Tyler made his way up the stairs, voicing that Josh should make himself comfortable, Josh moved to the living room to do just that. He slumped into the couch, still sleep warm from where Tyler must have passed out, and he thought it funny that the two of them had found themselves in the same sleeping arrangement the night previous.

There was a small moment of silence, the only sounds being Tyler’s hurried footsteps from upstairs before he heard the shower start up.

The house was pretty much a mirror copy of his own, the furniture the same, placed in the same spots, only with light colour and wood variations. Josh’s eyes caught the wine glasses on the table, his brow quirked when he noticed both had lipstick stains around the rim. The sight of it caused his stomach to flip, and Josh stood again, taking both glasses and making his way to the kitchen.

He dumped them into the sink, twisting the faucet and watching as the luke warm water melted the lipstick away from both glasses. He didn’t know why, wasn’t completely certain on the feeling in his stomach, but as he was trying his best to push that feeling down, Tyler’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“I know I said to make yourself comfortable,” He began, and Josh spun around, eyes wide as if he had just been caught doing something illegal. “but I wasn’t really talking about cleaning.”

Tyler stood in the doorway to the kitchen, hair still damp against his forehead and dripping before he brought a hand up to rake it back. Josh gave a nervous laugh, reaching over to shut off the still running water before he moved to set the glasses on the dish drainer. Grabbing a small towel on the counter, he turned again, drying his hands.

“Sorry, I just...” He thought for a moment, thinking of what he could say that wouldn’t make him sound insane. “The smell of wine bothers me.”

Tyler didn’t look like he was buying it and whatever he was thinking, he didn’t pry, instead just shaking his head with a small laugh. “Let’s get you out of the house, then.”

-o-o-

“So, this is the bass you’re happy with?” Josh asked, eyeing Tyler from the side, watching as he adjusted the strap over his shoulder with a grimace. He could tell it was a bit too tight, and Josh reached out again, adjusting it with a practised hand. Tyler looked grateful, his posture relaxing after a moment, the bass guitar now hanging at an appropriate height and flush against his body.

Josh took a step back, finding the right cord and slipping it into the small amplifier at his feet. There was a hum of static after he flicked the switch before Tyler ran his hand over the strings, the sound reverberating through the speakers, crisp and clear. He played a couple of notes, testing and tuning the bass to his liking, before he flowed into a small riff, his face looking satisfied.

Josh watched him, leaning back against the wall and noticing how when Tyler held that bass in his hands, when he played it with practised fingers, he almost looked at peace. No dark cloud looming over his head, no thoughts of the people outside, just Tyler and his music. And the thought satisfied something deep within Josh.

“Stop staring... you’re making me nervous.” Tyler voiced after a moment, bringing Josh’s eyes back up to his face. Tyler looked sheepish, his cheeks dusted a little, but Josh put it down to the heat of the summer sun.

“Trust me, you have nothing to be nervous about. You play great.”

Tyler silenced the strings at the compliment, turning his face down and idly fidgeting with the dials on the side of the instrument, muttering for his neighbour to shut up and Josh couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in his stomach.

He was excited. Mainly because, even when Tyler had said he was a musician, Josh hadn’t really believed him at first. He had thought that maybe he just wanted to be a musician, but Josh could see now with the way he strummed effortlessly, there was a practised professionalism there, something that you only got from years of playing for people, and Josh really, really wanted to play along, wanted to be part of that music.

When Tyler started playing again, something a bit slower and more melodic, Josh eyed him with a questioning brow. “What song is that?”

Tyler looked as if he didn’t hear him at first, continuing to play some notes before he stopped. “Something I wrote a while ago.”

“Ah, it sounded familiar.” Josh said, and when he noticed Tyler was beginning to take the bass off, lifting the strap over his head and setting it back on the stand, he bent to flick the amplifier off.

“Nah, I never played that one before. Couldn’t finish it.” There was something nostalgic in his voice, something unspoken, as if he wanted to elaborate but was restraining himself. Josh didn’t push, instead moving to pack up the bass, fastening it into it’s case, safe and secure.

“C’mon, let’s get these into the car.”

“Oh it’s a car now?” Tyler quipped back with a laugh, wrapping up some of the wires and cords and placing them back into their bags. “I thought that thing was a monster truck.”

Josh laughed at this, something deep and full, before Tyler continued. “Y’know, when you rolled up in that thing the other day, I kind of thought you did it just to annoy me.”

“I did.” Josh admitted and he couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped him when Tyler turned, incredulous and jaw dropped.

“I knew it... and Jenna called me crazy.” He muttered to himself, sounding annoyed, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, almost like he was fighting it.

“Oh, what I would have given,” Josh began after a moment, wistfully. “To be a fly on the wall, watching you peak out your curtains, mumbling all crazy to yourself..” He almost doubled over with laughter, finally moving to carry the case on his back when he noticed Tyler’s brow nit. Not in annoyance or embarrassment this time, but in amusement.

“You’re secretly an asshole, aren’t you?” Tyler retorted after a moment, slapping Josh on the shoulder but saying nothing more to that.

They made their way out of the shop, storing the bass in the back of the Ford Bronco where they had already put a new keyboard, a small ukulele and a couple of amplifiers, before Josh shut the door, tipping his sunglasses down with a satisfied hum.

“You think that’s everything you’ll need?” Josh asked after a moment, moving around the car.

“I think so, besides the piano, which they said could take a couple of days.”

“Okay, then next on the list,” Josh voiced, and Tyler paused by the passenger seat door, eyeing him. “It’s nothing bad,” He was quick to correct. “I just wanted to ask, if this thing goes well, maybe we could ask Michael about playing a few nights at the bar on the town square?”

Tyler seemed to contemplate this for a moment, before he opened the passenger door, almost having to climb into the car. Josh was quick to follow, and by the time he had buckled up, Tyler still hadn’t said anything.

They sat for a couple of moments, the car hot with the air of summer before Josh flicked the air conditioning on, the hum now filling the silence. He glanced over to Tyler who sat, brow furrowed and thinking.

Maybe he had been too presumptuous? They hadn’t even played together yet, and with the small preview he had just had in the music store, maybe Josh wouldn’t be up to par. The thought settled in his stomach, heavy. And then just as he was about to twist the keys in the ignition, Tyler spoke.

“I don’t see a problem with that,” His voice was quiet then, staring down at his hands on his lap, fingers idly twiddling together. “But it’s been a while for me. I’m not sure if I’ll be good enough for a crowd.”

Suddenly, the heaviness that had settled in Josh’s stomach felt unbearable and he reached out, shaking Tyler by the shoulder with a smile plastered on his face. Anything to not feel that heaviness.

“Hey, c’mon! I heard you in there,” He said, and Tyler looked startled, as if he had just been yanked unceremoniously out of his thoughts, pulled out from under that dark cloud that was threatening to form over his head. “We just need to practise, shake off the rust.”

The words were light, and Josh felt that pit in his stomach dissipate. He did his best to hide the sigh of relief that escaped him as he watched Tyler smile something small, finally twisting the keys and starting up the Bronco.

-o-o-

When they got back, they made quick work of unpacking. Josh’s music room had been commandeered, furniture and drum set pushed to one side to make room for the amplifiers, lined against the wall, wires snaked across the floor.

Tyler sat cross legged, flicking a couple of switches here and there, testing the sounds to find the right tuning and pitch he had landed on in the store. On his lap, the black bass guitar he picked out rested, ready to be played.

Josh stood by his drums, tightening a cymbal before he sat on the stool, testing the kick drum once or twice. The sound made Tyler jump and Josh laughed.

“Too late to run now, Joseph.” He quipped playfully, taking a moment to tune his snare.

“You’d love that. Probably afraid I’ll make you look bad,” Tyler was quick with his response, moving to stand now that his bass was tuned to his liking. Josh almost scoffed, laughing something deep and full.

“Show me what you’ve got then,” He continued, sticks at the ready and eyebrow raised in challenge.

Tyler said nothing. He adjusted the strap on his shoulder, strumming once, then twice before he played a small chord, quiet but open, filled with something unresolved. Hesitation.

Josh didn’t interrupt, didn’t want to break the small fragile stillness between them, so he waited. Watching as a look of tension resolved on Tyler’s face, like he was trying to convince himself to just play, to just let go.

And soon after, he did. Falling into a melody that was slow at first, melancholic, his fingers finding a rhythm, stumbling a few times but always continuing.

“That sounds... nice,” Josh finally said, confident that Tyler had reached a place where his rhythm wouldn’t break so easily.

“It’s nothing yet,” Tyler replied, nodding towards Josh’s drum set. “You with me?”

Josh kicked the drum in response, an enthusiastic yes, and Tyler smiled something small, almost to himself. Then Josh continued, tapping out a couple of soft beats experimentally, no talking, no laughing, just small looks for adjustments, for silent cues.

Tyler switched then, added a small brightness to the tune, lifting the melody, and when Josh was quick to catch on, meeting him with a roll on the snare drum, he caught Tyler’s smile for a brief second before he turned away.

“Mind if I try something else?” Tyler asked, swinging the bass around to his back before he took a cautious step over some wires to his keyboard. Setting down his sticks, Josh gave a silent nod.

Tyler’s hand ran over the keys for a second and he paused, as if taking some time to familiarise himself with something he had long forgotten. He played a few notes, eventually settling into a simple phrase, something repetitive that felt old and unfinished.

Josh could only lean back and watch, no funny quips this time, no sharp response, just observation. It was the same melody from the store, only this time on keyboard, and Josh felt something, a wave of nostalgia for a past he was not a part of, but still knew all too well. When Tyler stopped, he sat up, lifting the drum sticks again.

“Play it again,” Was his simple request, and Tyler did. Josh stalled for a moment, humming along – a little off-key, barely audible, but honest. He tapped the rhythm back in, gentle at first, matching the mood before he leaned into it, adding a syncopated kick. When he threw in a ghost note that surprised even himself, Tyler glanced over, brow raised – impressed.

“I didn’t realise you could actually play.” He joked, that crooked smile back on his lips.

“I didn’t realise you could actually relax.” Josh was quick to respond, a cheeky smile matching Tyler’s as they continued. Tyler just rolled his eyes, but didn’t answer, instead shifting to a new chord progression, this time more brighter and open. Josh followed, shifting with him and keeping pace, enjoying the wordless conversation they were having.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Josh interrupted after a couple of minutes. “That last part, play it again. Slower.”

Tyler gave a nod and eagerly repeated, watching as Josh listened closely, laying a steadier more deliberate beat underneath. Together, they seemed to create something full-bodied, something still raw but undeniably alive.

Time stretched long into the evening, one song bleeding into another as they discussed covers, musical influences and tastes. The sun began to set. Josh had left at one point, grabbing two beers from Ruby, and they sat now, backs to the sofa in the music room, the air still humming and hot with the heat from the amps and the growing excitement neither of them wanted to name.

“It feels weird,” Tyler began after a moment, sipping his beer quietly. “Playing again.”

“Weird good?”

“Weird like... like I’m allowed to feel something again,” Tyler was chewing his lip, and Josh didn’t answer right away, instead waiting a moment before he bumped his knee lightly against Tyler’s. “You think too much,”

“Or maybe you don’t think enough.”

They looked at each other, expressions unreadable, before Tyler shook his head. “Regardless, thank you for doing this. The music, I mean.”

Josh was taken aback like that. Tyler had flashed something confrontational and was just as quick to bury it. He brushed past it. “You make it sound like I just carried you out of a burning building or something.” He said with a thick laugh, sipping his beer again.

Tyler’s smile was dry, maybe even forced before he continued. “Kind of feels like that.”

There was a stretch of silence between them, a moment of heaviness when neither said anything, before Josh turned his head, his curiosity needing to be sated.

“You really think it’s that bad out there?”

He hadn’t really thought about the question properly before he voiced it, hadn’t really determined what words to use, or whether to even ask at all, before he did. When Tyler looked at him, his brows were knit.

“It is that bad. People are starving, freezing. Dying because they couldn’t win the right lottery. We’re in here sipping free beers and playing music like it’s nothing.”

There was bitterness in his voice, and Josh regretted asking, regretted even steering the conversation in this direction. But now that he had opened the door, maybe it was a good time to pry, so he continued.

“It’s not nothing.” Josh began, leaning forward now, elbows resting on his knees. “Do you think guilt makes you a better person?”

Tyler looked at him sharply, brow furrowed and thinking, eyes caught somewhere between anger and questioning as he leaned forward too. “No. I think forgetting makes you a worse one.”

“I haven’t forgotten anything,” Josh said after a moment, a bit quieter now, tinged with defeat. “You have no idea what I’ve been through out there.”

“Then tell me.”

Josh let out a frustrated sigh at his response, the feeling of that anxiety returning, hitting him hard and fast in the stomach. “What’s the point? Talking about it doesn’t bring anyone back, doesn’t make the outside any better.”

Another string of silence, and Tyler’s expression shifted, almost looking apologetic for a flash before he sat back again, sighing heavy. “It’s not about fixing it, it’s about not pretending that it never happened.”

Josh contemplated the statement, but before he could respond, Tyler continued. “You ever think maybe you’re afraid to feel anything real?”

Josh exhaled sharply, half a laugh, mostly frustration. “I don’t know how to think about all that and still breathe.”

Tyler didn’t interrupt, just thumbed his beer bottle, finger nail scraping lightly against the sticker.

“I don’t want to think about it, because if I do, I end up feeling lucky.” Josh continued after a beat, voice taut and hoarse, as if the words were hard to get out, something he hadn’t spoken in years.

“I don’t want to feel lucky. Because lucky means someone else had to lose. And if I think about that, I’m afraid I’ll never stop.”

The room was still for a long moment. Josh had almost expected Tyler to be angry at the statement, almost expected another argument to break out, but when he looked over to him, he was surprised to find that Tyler wore a deeper expression. Something sympathetic and understanding.

“That’s the part no one talks about,” Tyler began, leaning forward again and setting his beer down on the small coffee table in front of them, no longer having the stomach for it. “You get picked for something like this and it’s not just relief – it’s... grief. Like you’re walking around wearing someone else’s life.”

A small weight felt like it was slowly lifting from Josh’s shoulders, the familiar ache in his stomach easing. Did Tyler... did he get it? After a number of occasions of them butting heads, thinking that he might never see eye to eye with his neighbour, after all this time, did he understand that feeling?

Josh nodded slowly, looking over. “Yeah. But when we sit here and play these dumb little songs, I feel-” He trailed off, a beat passing before Tyler looked at him again, prompting. “Yeah?”

Josh felt himself give a small self conscious smile. “Lighter. Like maybe it’s okay to still want things. Even now.”

There was a hum of acknowledgement next to him, a small confirmation of feeling before Tyler spoke again. “It is. That’s why I agreed to getting the instruments. Not because I deserve them. Just... because I miss feeling like I’m alive.”

The silence that dragged this time wasn’t so awkward, wasn’t cumbersome like it usually felt. It was softer, like something unspoken had passed between them. Eventually, Josh felt himself laugh.

“Well, if we’re gonna be alive, we better get good. C’mon, let’s practise a bit more.”

Chapter Text

It was the early hours of the morning by the time Tyler left, slipping back into his house quietly in an effort not to wake Jenna. But as he clicked the door shut, a voice came from the kitchen, and Tyler noticed the small amber-tinted light spilling out from the crack in the door.

“You don’t have to sneak back in.”

Tyler swallowed, setting his keys down and making his way over to the door, tentatively pushing it open. Jenna sat at the kitchen table, knees pulled to her chest, a cup of tea that had long gone cold in front of her.

He didn’t say anything yet, just crossed the space, taking a moment to admire the perfect view of the moon Jenna had found from this spot, before he pulled back one of the chairs and slumped into it. He breathed a heavy sigh, finally glancing sideways at her.

“I didn’t realise you’d be up.”

“I didn’t see you all day,” She responded, still gazing out the window, arms wrapping around her knees and tucking them in closer. “Wanted to make sure we spoke.”

There was a hesitance in the air, and Tyler didn’t reply. He leaned back in the chair, hands idling with the place mat on the table. The air between him and Jenna never felt this heavy, not in all the years since he had known her. Something was different, something had shifted, and suddenly Tyler didn’t feel like her best friend anymore.

Eventually, Tyler rose again, taking her cup and walking to the kitchen nook, running the water. “You want more tea?”

“Sure, that’d be nice.” She glanced, a small awkward smile on her face. But if Tyler was being honest, he just needed something for his hands to do. Routine helped. He filled the kettle, flicked the stove on and set the water down. Behind him, Jenna watched.

“I’m sorry, Ty.” She spoke, voice hoarse, but Tyler didn’t turn.

“You don’t have to be.” His hands idly worked, washing the old tea out of her cup and grabbing another for himself. Sure, he could ask Ruby for a tea and he would have it in seconds, but it wasn’t the same.

“It’s not like you betrayed me. We were never... like that.”

The words hit hard. Yes for Jenna, but more for him. Too much time with Josh was causing him to lie to himself now. Of course, they were never romantically involved, but was he really telling the truth when he said she hadn’t betrayed him?

“I still should have told you,” Jenna said after a moment, pulling him out of his thoughts as he continued his small task. “It wasn’t fair, you finding out like that.”

Tyler finished preparing the tea, returning to the table and setting two mugs down in front of them. Steam curled up, a good distraction, because Tyler did not want to meet her eyes. Not yet.

“I figured you didn’t exactly plan for this.”

Jenna laughed in response, but there was no humour in it. It was dry and painful. “I didn’t. I didn’t mean to fall for her...” She leaned forward now, wrapping her hands around the mug, seemingly finding confidence there.

“At first, it was just... a mutual feeling of understanding. She saw me, not the fake placeholder in this marriage.”

Tyler finally looked up, something sharp in his stomach reflected in his eyes, and Jenna faltered but continued. “I started to feel excited to see her, eventually starting to find excuses to talk to her...”

She trailed off, taking a moment before she cleared her throat. “And then... it just happened.”

Tyler sat back, eyeing her, watching the tightness in her shoulders, the nervousness in her eyes, watched as they darted down to her cup and back up to his face, like she wanted to continue but didn’t know what else to say. He took a breath, then spoke.

“When I saw you two, I didn’t feel angry. Just... scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of what happens if someone else sees you like that. What happens to you. To me. To all of us.”

The silence that followed was thick, and Jenna looked down to her cup, brows furrowed and furiously thinking, guilt etching on to her face, slowly but surely. She nodded.

“It’s not enough to be careful, right?” She said, voice a little bitter now. “If anyone finds out our marriage is fake, if they found out about Debby and me...”

She paused, because her breath had hitched and when she looked up to meet Tyler’s gaze, her eyes were full, welling with tears before they spilled. “We could all get sent back.”

“Worse, Jenna. We would get sent back to a worse situation than we escaped from.”

Tyler couldn’t help himself. Resentment was beginning to edge his voice, and Jenna looked away, tears flowing freely now.

He knew this was true, had read it in their contracts before moving here. If they broke the rules – adultery being first and foremost on the list – they were kicked out. They would have no jobs, no apartments to go back to, and to add to all of that, they would also have to pay for everything they bought here. Every penny that had been spent to get them here, all added to their debt. He swallowed sharply.

“Jenna,” He began once the tension had reached it’s peak. “You made this choice. Same as me. We came here to survive. And now you’re tangled up in feelings that aren’t supposed to exist... I’m not going to hate you for that, even if it sucks.”

She looked surprised, eyes flicking up to him. Pinching her sleeve, she wiped the dampness from her cheeks, speaking now, only barely above a whisper. “I never asked you what you wanted. If you were okay with all this... with pretending.”

Tyler shrugged then, tired and defeated. He took the first sip of tea, noting that it tasted nicer when he made it himself.

“It didn’t really matter what I wanted... Not really. It was this, or eventually dying out there. Starving, or freezing... or maybe something worse.”

Jenna reached across the table, placing a hand over his, and Tyler felt it. Felt that heavy lump in his throat, felt the weight on his shoulders. He tried to push it down, tried his very best to feel okay, but he just couldn’t... it wasn’t in him.

“I think I want someone to see me too,” He finally voiced, hoarse and quiet before he succumbed to the ache in his chest, his eyes spilling. “I think I feel betrayed because... without you, I have no one.”

Jenna choked out a sob, hand raising to her mouth to quiet herself in an effort not to interrupt him, but it was too late, Tyler stopped himself, quickly bringing a hand up to wipe the stray tears before he took a breath in an effort to compose himself.

“Just promise you won’t forget about me?”

Jenna gave a shaky smile, apologetic before she stood up, walking around the table and wrapping her arms around him, a hug filled with comfort and familiarity. Tyler leaned into it, and for a couple of beats, they stayed like that.

But Tyler knew there was more. More that needed to be said, the small ache in his chest spreading when he remembered the fourth person that was involved in all this.

When Jenna pulled away from him again, she kept her hands on his shoulders, squeezing. “You will always have me, Tyler.”

He gave a shaky nod in response before she released him, looking satisfied for now before she took a seat again, bringing the tea up to her mouth.

“And what about Josh?”

Tyler finally said it, finally voiced what was playing on his mind. His neighbour, those damn puppy dog eyes. Tyler couldn’t help the fresh anxiety that developed in his chest when he thought about him, looking hurt and defeated.

Jenna hadn’t replied. Instead, she was looking down at her hands, idly messing with a stray thread on her sleeve before she glanced up. “That... is another problem.”

The look of confusion that overtook Tyler’s features were instant, and Jenna was quick to continue. “Ty... their marriage is a lie too.”

Relief. Tyler felt a small pang of relief, a breath leaving him at the news. But the reprieve didn’t last long.

“At least... for Debby.” Jenna continued after a beat. “She’s... not even into men like that.”

Tyler stared at her. His mouth opened, but the flood of questions in his head was fast and erratic and he struggled to land on something, mouth closing again.

“She... she chose Josh specifically to get in here.”

And all at once, Tyler’s stomach dropped. His hands idled, unsure of what to do before he pinched his nose, exasperated. “Please tell me you’re not serious.”

When he eventually looked back to Jenna, her face was etched with guilt. She couldn’t hold his gaze for long, instead opting to turn again, expression deepening.

“Jenna,” He stared at her, eyes searching. “That’s... it’s-”

“Awful, I know.”

And now he knew too. The information settled on him, the secret heavy. How was he supposed to continue as normal now, knowing what he knew? Josh thought he was happily married, maybe even deluded himself into thinking so. Tyler didn’t know what they were like behind closed doors, but in public, they seemed perfectly content.

But it was a lie, and now there was only one person who didn’t know.

-o-o-

He only got a little sleep. It was already late when he had returned home, but he didn’t want to sleep long, knowing that he wanted to play with Josh again, like they had planned.

The music room was cooler today, the windows cracked as far as they could go, the smell of the summer breeze travelling in and filling the air between them. It was supposed to bring a soft easiness, but Tyler’s head was anything but.

He sat at his keyboard, idly tapping out a tune. Well, trying. He hitched, stuttered, fingers finding it hard to fall into that muscle memory.

Josh, with a half joking smirk, eyed him. “You sure you’re with me today, or are we just free-floating?”

Tyler furrowed a brow, fingers halting before he gave a sheepish smile, only half true. “I’m here. Just... brain’s lagging a bit.”

Josh paused, nodding after a moment before he began tapping a slow rhythm on the rim of the snare, casual but steady – giving Tyler time to find his footing. When the keyboard joined, the melody was soft, meandering – but mostly off-kilter.

They fell into a beat that was loose, almost jazzy. Josh followed Tyler’s lead, filling in the gaps with light cymbal brushes and a heartbeat on the bass drum. It was unstructured, but good. Raw.

“That’s it, that’s good...” Tyler mumbled to himself, eyes slipping shut, feeling the rhythm and relaxing a bit. Josh only smiled in response, just a flicker, but it was filled with a look of ‘I told you so’.

The tune evolved and tightened, Tyler getting bolder with his chords, leaning into a more emotional sound – a minor key progression that ached slightly as it lifted. Josh was quick to follow him, instinctively matching it with a deeper rhythm.

Tyler’s eyes flicked up and Josh was already watching him, gaze intense but soft, curious. It lingered for a long moment, before Tyler looked back down again, a small clear of his throat. “You always know where I’m going before I get there.” He mumbled, a smile tugging.

“Only with music, don’t flatter yourself, Joseph.” Josh replied and when Tyler looked up, he was smirking, something small and cheeky playing on his lips. There was a flutter in Tyler’s chest and he felt himself laugh, excited or... something else he couldn’t quite identify.

After a couple of beats, they wound down together, the song tapering off into silence. The only sound left in the room was their breathing, the hum of the amp and subtle creak of the seats they sat on.

Josh moved first, lifting the bottom of his shirt and wiping sweat from his forehead. Tyler tried to look away quickly, he really did, but it wasn’t fast enough. He glimpsed at the flash of stomach, the way the skin pulled tight at the movement.

And Josh caught it. He didn’t say anything, but the silence shifted again, filled with a sudden pressure.

“You sure you’re okay?”

Tyler didn’t respond right away. He knew he was off today, knew that the lack of sleep, the secret he was keeping from Josh and the conversation he had had with Jenna the night previous were all weighing heavy on him, but it wasn’t exactly something he could talk about.

There were also the looks. They had been exchanging them all day, looks that lingered, looks that were sharp. Soft and intense like they were seeing each other for the first time. They muddled Tyler’s mind, made his stomach feel light, chest airy. What was with the looks? Why hadn’t he noticed them before?

“Yeah, just... things on my mind.”

Josh leaned forward at that, elbows on his knees as he eyed him, his expression concerned, features soft. “You know you don’t have to keep everything locked up,” He began, his eyes a gentle challenge. “I’m not gonna break if you say something real.”

Tyler thought about it. It would be easy to spill it now, tell him about their wives. About Josh’s wife. But he shook it off, quiet now.

“You ever feel like... the longer you stay in this place, the more fake it all feels?”

Josh took a moment, leaning back on his stool again, thinking. “No. I feel the opposite.” He said after a short pause, taking a moment to run his fingers over the roughness of his snare, worn and beaten from their practice. Tyler couldn’t help but quirk a brow at that.

“The longer I’m here... the more real this feels. More real than anything before. It almost feels like the outside was a dream.”

Tyler felt a tug of disappointment in his chest. The answer wasn’t satisfying. It was infuriating. Josh infuriated him sometimes, so much so that on some days, he wondered why he was even doing all this. The music, the buddy buddy neighbour friendship bullshit. Suddenly, in an effort to vent these frustrations, Tyler slammed his hands on the keyboard, clashing notes reverberating, echoing long into the silence that followed.

Josh nearly fell from his seat, a look of confusion, one of his sticks falling to the floor before he breathed, bending to pick it back up. “I see you’re doing that thing again today.” He voiced, a little breathless but still managing a small laugh.

“What thing?”

“Thinking louder than you’re playing,” He said, but his expression was soft, sympathetic. “Well, almost louder.”

Tyler almost smiled, but stopped himself, instead shifting his weight on his bench before he idly started playing again, fingers dusting the keys. “You ever feel like your hands know what you’re playing before your brain does?”

Josh looked as though he needed to think on this for a moment, chewing his lip as he set his sticks down. “Kind of have to, with you. You can be a bit unpredictable.” He said after a beat, flashing Tyler another smile. This time, it was returned. Small, but honest.

They held each others gaze again, before Tyler’s fingers faltered on the next chord, jarring the tune he was playing to a stop, and he looked away, cursing under his breath. There was that look again. What was with Josh today? He seemed overly interested, overly inquisitive, and Tyler wasn’t sure what to make of it. All he knew was that it was distracting and causing him to stumble a lot more than usual, a feeling of something shooting up his spine each time it happened.

Tyler played something softer – a half-finished melody he hadn’t shared before. It was edged with sadness, lilting a little. Lonely. Josh didn’t speak, didn’t join in this time. The melody was soft and fragile, as if even the softest beat might overpower it, so he watched instead, something reverent in his gaze, like Tyler was doing something holy.

When Tyler finished, Josh let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “I like it. You should finish that one.”

“M’not sure if I can,” Was Tyler’s lazy response, hands hovering over the keys then, unsure of where to take it.

Before he could say anything else, Josh was on his feet, making his way over to the keyboard and slipping onto the small bench next to him. The sudden lack of space was jarring before Tyler shifted, making room for his neighbour with a little huff.

A beat passed when neither said anything. Tyler pressed on a key awkwardly, the note ringing out before a voice interrupted.

“You’ve got that look,” Josh murmured, so close now their knees brushed, sending a small pool of nerves to Tyler’s stomach. His eyes remained on the keys. “Like something’s eating you up.”

The air between them stretched, long and heavy. Tyler wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t sure how to respond. The only thing he could think of was Josh’s damn knee, gently bumping against his own.

“Maybe something is.” He breathed after a moment, eyes flicking to Josh, scanning him. There was something reflected in his gaze, something dark, something laced with comfort, with... want. No. That couldn’t be right. With... connection?

“Tyler,” Josh began, but he sounded quiet, his voice barely above a whisper.

And then, he was leaning, their eyes connected, and for a split second, Tyler saw Josh’s eyes flash down to his lips. Automatic and fast, just a flash. He couldn’t help but do the same.

“Josh, what are yo-”

“I hope I’m not interrupting!”

Debby’s feminine voice cut through the tension like a knife as she kicked the door open with such a force that it jostled and thumped against the wall. They both jolted, Josh bolting to his feet with a hand on his chest, cheeks dusted and shoulders trembling. Tyler slammed his hands back down on the keys, eyes darting there, trying to look as if he had been playing this whole time.

The intrusion was barbaric, merciless. Whatever had built in the moment was ripped down, tattered to pieces and left on the floor at Tyler’s feet. He felt his hands trembling against the keys and realised he couldn’t really play anything even if he tried, his head too foggy from the whiplash.

“Debby.” Josh said after a second, his voice breathless, followed by a sharp laugh. Tyler’s eyes flickered up, noticing she was carrying a tray with two tall glasses of lemonade and a couple of slices of cake. She made her way to the coffee table and set the tray down.

“Oh, y’know, I wasn’t hearing any music so I thought you boys might be taking a break. I brought some snacks!” Her voice was light, carefree. Picking up both glasses, she handed them one each, smiling brightly.

“You guys sound so good together. That was beautiful, whatever that last thing was,” She continued, nodding towards Tyler’s keyboard. Their eyes met for a moment, and Tyler saw something flash in Debby’s expression. Something knowing, or maybe a challenge. It could have very easily been a mix of both, but he didn’t have time to decipher it, watching as Debby effortlessly smoothed her expression again when she turned back to Josh.

She leaned up then, placing a small kiss on his cheek, and Tyler’s stomach dropped. How did she do that? How did she so confidently lie? Tyler had caught her and Jenna not even two days ago, and here she was, almost robotic in her movements, so much so that even Josh seemed surprised at the sudden affection.

They thanked her for the refreshments and she left, the silence behind her awkward and jarring, almost suffocating. That was, until Josh turned with a wide smile.

“You want some cake?”

-o-o-

Tyler left a little after that. They had tried to settle into the rhythm again, but it had been a struggle. A constant push and pull. A constant distraction.

It was late in the afternoon, the cul-de-sac washed in the soft orange glow of the setting sun, the breeze cooler than it had been all day.

The session felt like a disaster. Tyler reached the gate that led up to the front porch of his house and without much thought, kept walking. He needed to keep moving, his feet pacing and trying desperately to keep up with his mind. Passing white picket fences and perfect lawns. He needed the silence. Needed the space.

After a couple of paces, he brought his palms to his eyes, trying desperately to push the moment out of his head – the way Josh had looked at him before Debby walked in. The half-formed lean. The breath between them. How close they had come to -

God.

He exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face. It was stupid, really. In Josh’s mind, he was happily married – regardless of the information Tyler had to contradict that – so why had it felt so tense?

Tyler was annoyed. Not because of the moment, but because of how much he had noticed Josh today. There was no way his neighbour felt... like that. It would be the furthest thing from his mind, surely. But why was it front and centre in Tyler’s?

Was he really that lonely? Had the news of Debby and Jenna rattled him that much? Here he was, walking, thoughts deluded and placing meaning in parts of his day where there surely was none.

But then he remembered Josh’s voice. The way he had called his name.

God. Was there really no meaning to that?

No. There definitely wasn’t.

But Tyler couldn’t even blame himself for feeling confused. He was turning into a walking lie. Living in a fake marriage. Hiding truths. Knowing that if Josh ever found out, it would break him.

And instead of telling him, he was staying quiet. And for what? To get closer? To be there to pick up the pieces when it eventually fell apart?

Was that what Tyler wanted?

Something felt light about that thought. Something honest, and it burned, seared into the edges of his mind. Not because it felt wrong. Because it felt true.

He was walking faster now, frantic. When had it developed? The small ache in his chest when he thought of Josh. How long had it been there? How long had he been oblivious? Josh infuriated him, annoyed him with his happy-go-lucky attitude, with his fixer upper smile. Those brown eyes, full of concern and-

Fuck. Fuck.

He hadn’t noticed it, too deep in thought, mind so absorbed in the revelation that his feet had carried him through town and to the pier. Tyler’s eyes cast out over the water, watching along the horizon with the smell of salt heavy in the air.

He braced his forearms against the small concrete wall, leaning into it, taking the weight off his feet.

This wasn’t what he needed. Not with everything going on with Jenna and Debby. Not with all the lies. Not with all the pretending. Whatever this feeling was, rising in his chest, threatening to take over, to swell in his throat until he couldn’t hold it down, he had to get rid of it. And quickly.

But the thought of what that meant made him feel hollow, empty. He would probably have to give up the music. He couldn’t be around him, not after today. Josh had been so kind, so careful and concerned, had wanted to give Tyler a space to vent, to feel alive again. But Tyler was broken. So lonely, so devoid of contact that he had made that into something more than it was. And now feelings were blooming. Feelings where there should be none.

The thought saddened him. His ability to ruin good things seemed to still be prevalent, strong and stubborn as ever, even in this place. This town was supposed to save them. So why now did it feel like everything was unravelling?

The weight of the decision hung heavy in the air. He just hoped Josh wouldn’t be too disappointed with him.

Chapter Text

Josh paced the layout of his living room, eyeing the clock, watching the minutes pass by. He couldn’t sleep, not after today. Not after the exhaustion it had caused.

Something was off. With everyone .

Something that filled his stomach with unease, something that robbed him of sleep. 3:12am. He sighed, pausing and looking towards the couch where his pillow and blanket were ready, Jim nestled on the edge, fast asleep. Jealousy pricked at him. To be that dog now, restful and in deep slumber, was all he wanted.

But he couldn’t grasp it. Not after today. Not with his thoughts buzzing around his mind like they were.

Debby. She had been tense. It had been going on for three days now. She was trying to act as if everything was fine, but it was out of character for her. She was too cheery, too perfect, and she had kissed him. On the cheek, sure, but still. He couldn’t remember the last time she had done that, couldn’t remember the last bit of affection he had got from her, the last time she was so close he could smell her perfume.

Something was wrong.

He had noticed the look between her and Tyler, a small glance, fast and fleeting, but he had noticed . It was filled with warning, with caution. A threat?

The thought gnawed on his mind, and he brought his hands up to rub his temples.

And Tyler…

Tyler had been off all day. Something weighed on him. The cloud, dark and looming, blurring his smile and his mind, keeping him on edge, all day . What was going on with him? There was tension simmering under the surface and it bled out in the way he had played; forced, erratic and off-centre.

Josh walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge before closing it again, taking nothing. He leaned back against the counter, mind racing.

There had been a moment. Josh hadn’t meant it. All he had wanted to do was comfort him, to be a guiding presence next to him, a friend to help him with his rhythm, help him relax. But it had developed into something else entirely... something that had left him feeling breathless, confused.

You’re married. You’re married. You have Debby.

He repeated the phrases again and again in his head, pushing down that feeling in his stomach, a feeling that he had noticed only for the first time today. Want? No... that didn’t sit quite right. A desire to be closer.

He made his way to the sink, splashing his face with cold water before he leaned, staring down into the drain and watching as the drips fell from his skin.

You’re married .

He repeated the words again, as if they would ground him, as if they would tether him, force him back down to earth. From the kitchen window, he could see Tyler’s back yard. His neighbours' lights were off, and the house was quiet.

Should he go over there? Maybe talk to him? Was Tyler awake, pacing around the kitchen like Josh was? He abandoned the idea of confrontation just as soon as it had come into his head. He probably wouldn’t want to see him anyway.

The silence of the neighbourhood pressed down on him, heavy, as he made his way back to the living room in the dark. When he slumped into the couch, Jim stirred but didn’t wake, huffing out a heavy breath.

Josh sat, jaw clenched, shoulders tense – too many thoughts swirling. He leaned back, throwing an arm over his eyes and let out a soft, broken laugh.

“Goddamn it, Tyler.”

-o-o-

They didn’t have plans for the next day, hadn’t made any with how tense they had left things the last session, and as Josh climbed into his Ford Bronco, he stole a sideways glance towards the lavender house, noting that the lights were still off, house still silent.

A soft haze hung over the suburb, golden and magenta lights in the sky just beginning to spill over the rooftops with the rise of the sun. Sprinklers ticked in the distance, the town slowly waking up.

Josh drove with Jim in the passenger seat, unsure of where he was really going, not having picked out a destination before he left. He just knew he needed out of the house, out of the end of that cul-de-sac where his mind constantly felt muddled.

He settled on the beach, pulling up in the parking lot and shutting the engine off. It was always quiet around this time, far too early for most people, but that suited him perfectly. Leaning over the passenger side, he cracked the door open for Jim who gave a small ‘boof’ - almost like a thank you.

And then they ran together, down by the shore. There was no real goal in mind. Just head space. Exercise. Anything to get his mind off things and if it tired him out enough to sleep, then that was an added bonus.

It didn’t last long, just enough to scratch that itch, to get his body moving, enough to stretch out his muscles and relieve some of the anxiety that had become so commonplace in his stomach. To make him feel like himself again.

He slowed to a stop in the sand, Jim just a couple of paces ahead of him, spinning around to check on his human, tail wagging fierce and frantic as he gave an eager bark. It was nice, knowing that even if he didn’t have anyone in this moment, at least he had him. Almost on queue, the dog returned, circling Josh’s legs once, then twice, before he planted down next to him.

Josh sunk into the sand, eyes out on the horizon, watching. The sun was higher now, bringing with it the full bodied weight of the morning, seagulls squawking overhead, and he felt a little at peace. Finally.

And then, a yawn. It was almost a gift, almost a relief, and he looked back down to Jim, who had settled down in the sand beside him, lying now, tongue hanging out of the corner of his mouth with a silent pant.

“Let’s go, buddy.”

-o-o-

But Josh didn’t go home just yet. There was one thing he wanted to do first. Turning right off the main road leading through the middle of the town, Josh snaked his way down the roads, eventually coming to a stop outside the largest building on the edge of the square – the town hall.

It sat almost at the centre of everything, like a gleaming command post, its pristine white facade catching the morning light in a way that nearly hurt to look at. A squat building with no architectural flourishes, it was all sharp corners and polished concrete, surrounded by manicured hedges trimmed into perfect cubes.

He slipped out of the car, telling Jim to stay. The dog had huffed, but didn’t protest, laying in the passenger seat, head down.

Josh crossed the threshold, keys jingling at little as the cool air conditioning of the lobby hit him. Ivy perked up from the receptionists desk, her blonde hair shimmering a little, edges tinted with a bit of pink to match the blouse she wore.

“Joshua Dun!” She exclaimed, and Josh gave a wide smile, reaching the desk after a few paces. “So good to see you, it’s been a while. How is Debby?”

Josh tapped the key on the marble counter a few times before his eyebrows raised at the question, tone a bit higher than intended when he spoke. “She’s... good!” was all he managed, and Ivy broke into another wide smile.

“Gosh, well isn’t that nice! And how about your new neighbours, Tyler and Jenna? Are they settling in okay?”

Josh halted at the question. She was typing now, long nails clacking noisily against the keyboard; but after a beat of silence, she looked up.

“They’re... also good.”

This seemed to satisfy her, and Ivy gave a wide pearly-white smile. “Good. So what can I do for you today, darling?”

“I was looking to speak with Michael. It’s actually about Tyler.”

Another few taps on her keyboard and she raised an inquisitive brow. “Nothing bad, I hope!” She said with a girlish giggle, and Josh was quick to shake his head, weight shifting between his feet. “No no, not at all.”

“Okay then, why don’t you take a seat and I’ll tell Michael you’re here.”

-o-o-

The office was just as pristine and polished as the rest of the building, but there were no personal photos, no clutter, just a clean desk, a ticking analogue clock and the faint hum of machinery in the walls, LED screens speckled here and there. The sun was still out, but in here the blinds were drawn, the smell of disinfectant heavy in the air.

Josh sat across from Michael, the pseudo mayor of this town, his silver hair and navy suit impeccable. His smile was thin and practised as Josh leaned back in his seat.

“So, Tyler and I have been messing around on some of the instruments from the music store...” He trailed off, taking a pause for a beat. “Turns out, we have a pretty decent sound together. We were thinking... maybe we could play a couple nights at one of the bars. Just for fun. Keep things lively.”

He was talking too much. Was he nervous? He hadn’t felt like it when he entered, but the sterile office and the way Michael was looking at him didn’t really help. The older man’s smile never changed. He placed his hands together in a steeple and looked at Josh like a patient teacher about to deliver a lesson.

“Music is important, Joshua. Uplifting. Rhythmic structure soothes the mind. But live performances,” He paused here, smile finally faltering, twitching a bit. “Well, that can lead to... unpredictable energy.”

Josh raised a brow, trying to keep it light but he couldn’t help but feel like he knew where this conversation was about to go. “Unpredictable how? We’re not talking riots here. Just...” He paused, scratching through the back of his curly hair. “...a few cover songs or something.”

“Still.” Michael continued, tone a bit more firm now. “The town thrives on consistency. Scheduled joy. Predictable harmony. Anything outside of that tends to... fray the edges.”

He stood then, slowly, hands clasped behind his back as he walked around the desk. When he spoke again, his tone remained calm, polite, but there was a hard edge underneath now.

“If you’d like to submit a proposal, we could review it. Dates, times, content. And we’d need to vet the venue, of course. Crowd control protocols.”

Josh frowned. The idea of a small gig being drowned in so much red tape deflating him, but he didn’t push – at least, not directly.

“Right. Of course. Wouldn’t want to stir up a mosh pit or anything.”

Michael watched him, that same smile plastered on his face again, unwavering. “I knew you’d understand. Thank you for your... enthusiasm, Joshua. We appreciate engaged citizens.”

“Always happy to engage.” Josh stood, reaching a hand out and shaking Michaels, his grip firm.

When he left the room, the heavy office door hissed behind him, and Josh stalled for a moment, running a hand through his hair and muttering under his breath.

“Fucking weirdos.”

-o-o-

Pulling back up into his drive, Josh moved his sunglasses to the top of his head as he eyed his own front porch.

Tyler. Tyler was there, sitting in one of the garden chairs and holding two paper cups, his gaze scanning Josh’s car, eventually landing on his face before their eyes met.

Well. That was a surprise that Josh had no time to prepare for. He stalled as much as he could, shutting the engine off, leaning over to open Jim’s door and watching as the dog excitedly made his way over to his neighbour, sniffing curiously. Tyler set one of the cups down, reaching out to pet Jim’s head lightly with a small, honest smile.

And then Josh slipped out of the car, shutting the door behind him. When he did, Tyler glanced back up, grabbing the paper cup again and making his way over.

“Hey. Early.” Josh broke the silence first, taking a look at his smart watch with a brow raised. Tyler was never up at this time, and the out-of-character decision settled something uneasy within him.

“Yeah, thought you might want coffee.” He offered one awkwardly. Josh just stared for a moment, taking a second longer than necessary before taking it.

“Thanks.”

There was an awkward pause as they both sipped. Tyler glanced towards the house before looking back. “You wanna – play? Or... I can come back later.”

“No, it’s fine. Come in.”

Josh made his way to the door, unlocking and pushing it open. When they both reached the music room, there was something heavy in the air, something unsaid, unaddressed. The room still hummed with the memory of yesterday, music clinging in the corners like dust. Josh moved first, cracking the windows open and letting in the breeze, but Tyler lingered by the door, unsure.

“You look like you didn’t sleep.” Josh was first to break the silence when he had turned, still watching Tyler there.

“Didn’t.”

Josh nodded, but didn’t push, vaguely recalling his thoughts from last night. He should have gone next door to talk to him.

Moving to the drum kit, he sat, adjusting a cymbal that didn’t need to be adjusted as he watched Tyler. Watched him move to the keyboard, his fingers almost twitching to play.

And then, they began.

At first, it was mechanical. Awkward. Like they were both playing around the memory of something they were not ready to say.

But slowly, the rhythm found them again. Something slow and moody this time, a wandering melody. Tyler’s keyboard sighed with the weight of it, Josh’s drums thrumming softly beneath.

They didn’t speak. But something was happening in the way they moved – closer. More attuned. There was a soft peak, and they both looked up, their eyes catching – just a moment too long.

Josh looked away first, clearing his throat. He wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to play it off. “Weird vibe today.”

“Yeah.”

And there it was again. Silence. Josh idled, tuning his snare. Anything not to meet Tyler’s eyes.

“Listen, Josh.” His neighbour began, but his tone was different. Whatever he wanted to say, it wasn’t good. “I’m not sure if I want to continue.”

The words hit hard, and Josh looked up, confusion etching his features, eyes wide.

“You mean today or...?”

“At all.”

The answer was firm. Final. But that didn’t make it any easier to accept.

“Wait. What are you talking about?” Josh asked after a moment, a nervous smile on his lips as Tyler looked away. Surely he wasn’t serious?

“This. Us... playing together. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Josh blinked, trying to process. Did what happened yesterday affect him that much? Josh hadn’t meant it... didn’t mean to make him so uncomfortable.

“Did I... do something wrong?” He asked after a moment, wanting to gauge Tyler’s reaction. Wanting to see what he thought of yesterday. If he thought anything at all about it.

“No, you didn’t... It’s me. I just,” He paused here, brow furrowed, still looking away. “I need space, okay?”

The words hung heavy over them, and both remained silent for a long beat. Josh hadn’t noticed it before, but his heart was hammering in his chest, eyes searching, willing Tyler to look at him, to do something, say anything . To tell him he was joking.

“Is this because of yesterday?” Josh heard himself ask, the silence reaching an unbearable tension, and the air in the room stiffened, sparked with things that had been left unsaid this whole time. He hadn’t really meant to ask. It felt forbidden, but the words had torn their way out of him unwillingly.

But Tyler... he didn’t answer. The silence that followed was enough of an answer in itself.

“Tyler, look -” He was cut off then, because Tyler was standing, gathering his things, and making for the door. “Whatever that almost was... it didn’t mean anything. We were caught up in a moment.”

Tyler halted by the door, and Josh was standing now, making his way around his drum set to follow if he needed to. “It was intense, but... that doesn’t mean we throw everything away, right?”

“That’s exactly why we have to.” Tyler finally spoke, but his voice was taut, strained from lack of sleep and weighed down by the pressure of too many thoughts. Josh stepped forward, reaching out.

“The music – playing with you – it’s the one thing that’s felt real since I got here. You’re gonna shut that down because we’re getting a little close?” He asked, just about to grab Tyler by the shoulder, to stop him, to will him to please listen.

But Tyler whipped around then, gaze sharp, brows dipped. “It wasn’t just a ‘little’, Josh .” His voice was bitter, almost venomous, and Josh pulled his hand back, almost as if he was afraid. Almost as if Tyler might lash out, bite him, or something worse.

“And what, you want to pretend it doesn’t matter?”

Tyler looked away, jaw tight. The guilt etched its way deeper into his face. Josh could see it, see it slowly spreading over his features... and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“It can’t matter. Not here. Not now.” He took a breath, his hand coming up to squeeze the back of his neck. “Not ever.”

“But it does .”

That landed, and Tyler swallowed hard, turning away again, almost like he didn’t want to hear it. But he didn’t leave. Not yet.

“You think cutting this off is going to make it go away? It won’t. You’ll just be alone with it.” Josh took the silence as an opportunity to continue, another step forward, the space between them getting smaller.

He looked at Tyler like he was trying to memorise him. Like he knew something was slipping away and he was powerless to stop it.

And before he could stop himself, he grabbed Tyler’s arm, spinning him around before he stepped in, closing the distance completely.

Their lips crashed together unceremoniously and even though Tyler stumbled back, he didn’t leave. Didn’t pull away. Didn’t stop it.

Josh wrapped a hand around his lower back, pulling him impossibly close, their lips frantic once Tyler began to kiss back , his hands coming up and grabbing Josh’s shirt, pulling, tugging, as if even the tiniest bit of space between them was too much.

And then just as soon as it had started, it was done. Broken by a shove, Tyler’s hands pushing Josh back by the chest, his eyes frantic and searching, looking towards Josh, unbelieving, incredulous and lips red. He took one step back, then another, and without saying anything, he bolted like a baby deer spooked, disappearing past the door frame in an instant.

Josh listened to the hurried footsteps, thumping down the stairs before the front door opened and slammed shut.

And then, silence.

Shit .

He walked a few paces, slumping into the couch with a heavy sigh as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, rubbing the back of his neck. His skin still felt hot where Tyler’s hands had touched him, lips still tingling with-

No. No . Josh placed his palm over his lips, pressing hard, as if the action would wipe the lingering presence from his memory.

It was just… the tension, that’s all. It was just the closeness, the loneliness, the lack of touch for months. That was what had caused him to react like that… right?

He nodded, convincing himself.

But the memory wouldn’t leave him alone. Tyler’s breath had been so close. The way their eyes had locked like something had been waiting between them for weeks, maybe even since they had first met. How right it had felt for the split second before Tyler had pulled away, angry. 

Josh groaned, his head dropping into his hands.

“ Jesus . What am I doing?” His breath was soft, an aching whisper to himself, the heavy silence of the unresponding room cold and final. Leaning back, Josh stared up at the ceiling. Searching.

“He’s married. I’m married. It didn’t mean anything.”

Right?

Deep down, he already knew the truth.

-o-o-

Debby had arrived home only a couple of hours later. But Josh was still a mess, cooped up in the music room, windows and doors shutting out the rest of the world as he played. Well, he tried to play. His rhythm was off, jarring, no accompaniment to guide him through it.

When Debby tapped on the door, Josh faltered, breath hitching at the intrusion, thinking that maybe… it might be Tyler. It was hard for him to break it now, the constant stream of thoughts that had been plaguing him for hours, but he looked up innocently when her head peeked in the doorway, trying his best not to feel disappointed.

“Hey.” Was her tiny greeting before she stepped in, looking around cautiously, as if she could feel the tension of things unsaid in the room. Her eyes flicked towards the shut windows, expression confused at the drawn curtains. “You've been in here all day?”

Josh averted his gaze back down to his drums, setting his sticks down on his snare as he cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

He didn’t say anything else. Couldn’t say anything else. If she stood there too long, if they shared this space together and she looked at him like that, he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to keep himself from boiling over. And then what would she think? She was his wife. Would it devastate her to know that he had strayed?

The guilt was heavy on him. So much so that he felt his eyes prick. He had betrayed her. Broke her trust. And she had no idea yet. He would have to tell her, eventually, but finding the words was something he hadn’t been thinking of. He would need a little more time.

“Joshie?” She called to him then, taking a step over to his set, her eyes curious. “Are you okay?”

He must have looked like hell. She could probably see it on his face, see the way his eyes darted, the pain edging his features, but he didn’t know how to respond.

“I just… didn’t sleep,”

“I can see that,” She replied, her arms folding over her chest, looking towards him now, her brows knit with concern. “Is there… something on your mind?”

He thought about how often he had asked her that question. How often he had told her that if she ever needed to talk, he would always be there. It was ironic, really, that now that something had come up, he wasn’t able to get the words out. Wasn’t able to confess that truth to her. Not yet.

“Just a fight with Tyler.” Was all he managed, but something strange happened. Instead of looking sympathetic, instead of saying anything , Debby stiffened. And for a moment, just a brief flash, she looked terrified .

Something clicked with Josh. Something deeply resonating, and he let the silence play out, let the tension grow, his eyes burning into hers as he watched her expression move from terror, to absolute horror.

“Oh, Josh… ” She began, hand coming up to her mouth, shaking. “I’m so sorry!”

Sorry for what? He wasn’t quite sure, but he thought he might be close to an answer… Might be close to something . He just stayed silent, watching her.

“I never meant for it to happen, I just…”  

Silence. He could tell that whatever was in her now, whatever secret she had that involved Tyler, it was ready to come out. Just a little more.

She made her way around the drums, falling to her knees beside him, her shaking hands reaching out to grasp his, tears welling in her eyes.

“You have to believe me! I never meant for any of this, I… I wanted to live here with you, I just…”

She was frantic now, stumbling over her words, trying to find the right thing to say, the right turn of phrase to quell the emotion that ran deep on his face. Josh swallowed hard, bracing.

“But then Jenna, she just-”

“Jenna?”

Finally he interrupted her, his voice hoarse, strained with anticipation. Strained with the weight of realisation. “What has Jenna got to do with this?”

Debby just choked, her eyes wide, searching, the weight of her accidental confession staggering her speech.

“I thought…” She began, lips dry and voice quiet. “I thought he told you…?”

Josh froze, blood running cold. He could feel it now. The absolutely crushing weight of the revelation, so fast and heavy that it made his head spin. His eyes bore into Debby's, furious.

The touch at the bar. The wine glasses. The look between Debby and Tyler.

It all made sense now. Maybe deep down he had already known. Already known that Debby was never in this marriage for love.

“You lied.” Was all he could choke out, ripping his hands from her. “Was any of this even real?”

Debby finally cracked, her eyes full and spilling, sobs wracking their way from her throat, hard and painful. “J-Josh, I never meant -”

“And Tyler knew ?”

There was a silence then, and Josh stood, stepping his way around her roughly, bumping her shoulder with his knee. From her spot on the floor, she desperately grabbed for him, desperately trying to stop him. “Josh, don’t -”

But it was too late. He yanked himself away from her, betrayal roaring in his stomach, tingling just underneath the surface of his skin as he left the room, only one destination in mind; it was time to pay his neighbour a visit. 

Chapter Text

Tyler slipped through the front entrance of his house, heart hammering in his chest. Slumping back against the door, he tried to catch his breath, tried to work himself through what he was feeling, tried his best to process what had just happened. 

Josh. Josh had… he had kissed him. And not only had he kissed him, but Tyler had kissed back . 

He brought a hand up, splaying it across his chest in an effort to soothe himself, but it was useless. His knees were weak, shaking, ready to buckle at any moment, and Tyler let them, slipping down the door and tucking his legs to his chest. 

In the front of his mind he could still feel it. Could feel the breath. Could feel the touch on his back, the warmth pressed against him, firm and steady. 

He lowered his head to his knees, letting the feeling overtake him, his body squeezing together, cocooned in the memory of that moment, and letting himself indulgently relive it. 

Josh's words, Josh's smell, his breath. And his lips. Lips that had pressed against his, hungry, pent up with all the things left unsaid, and searching. 

God . 

Tyler's skin tingled, a small shiver running down his spine. He had been so ready to convince himself that whatever he had felt yesterday had been completely one sided, but he knew now it wasn't. 

He hadn't asked Josh to kiss him, hadn't even expected it to happen, but…

Something deep within Tyler ticked, a soft glow blooming in his chest before it ignited his skin, warm and steady. He had kissed back. 

And he enjoyed it. 

God, he wanted to do it again. In fact, he hadn't wanted it to end. Hadn't wanted to break the contact before they had got to where they were going, before they had left nothing unsaid, nothing undone. 

But he had to. 

This wasn't the place for it. They were married. What would Jenna think of him now, sitting by the door, pining and chest aching for his neighbour? The same neighbour who was in a loveless marriage, who was untouched and abandoned. Neglected. 

His chest swelled, suffering with the thought as it weighed heavy on his limbs. When he thought of it, when he thought of the closeness, of the touch, the kiss, a feeling swelled within him, making him light headed. 

But when he remembered where they were, he deflated just as fast. 

They could never be anything here. They were locked into contracts, tight and binding. It wasn't something they could easily break. 

Maybe if they had met in another life, maybe even on the outside, Tyler might have entertained it. But they hadn't, and the acceptance of that fact was frustrating. His eyes welled as he sat in silence, eventually falling into soft, broken sobs. 

-o-o- 

He hadn't needed long to compose himself. The ache in his chest had settled, turning into something heavy he now carried on his shoulders, but Tyler was used to this feeling. He had learned well enough on the outside how to handle the crushing weight of disappointment without letting it destroy him. 

Even so, his mind swirled, lost in thought as he sat by himself, television buzzing in the background but doing little to distract him. 

“Tyler?” 

He whipped his head around, catching Jenna standing in the house entrance. Her features were concerned as she eyed him, taking a step further now that she had his attention. 

“I called your name like… four times. You okay?”

Tyler swallowed, and he felt it again. That tug in his chest, the heaviness that made his shoulders slump. When he spoke, it was dry, hoarse, and he paused to quickly clear his throat. 

“S-Sorry, just… tired.”

Jenna didn't buy it for a second. She slipped her handbag off her shoulder, setting down her keys as she made her way cautiously over. When she reached him, she laid a hand on his arm. 

And that was enough; the figurative straw that broke his back. He was already carrying too much, and Jenna's presence, her knowing blue eyes locked on him and the warmth of her hand on his arm, broke him all over again. Tyler hid his face, not wanting her to see the tears, but it was too late. 

“Oh, Ty ,” She began, voice brimming with something deeper than just concern - something closer to love and care. She slipped onto the couch next to him, pulling him in and tucking him to her chest as he relived the same emotions for a second time today; shame, disappointment, longing and the reminder of everything that could never be. 

“I don't know what's happened,” She whispered after giving him a moment, her comforting hands rubbing soothing circles against his back. “But I'm here, don't worry.”

It did help, but it wasn't enough. Tyler felt it swirling inside of him, felt the pit in his stomach, deep and aching, hollow. And no amount of love she could pour into him would ever be enough to fill it. 

“This… is exhausting.” He managed to return to her between sobs, and her brows dipped, guilty. “Everything, Jenna. It's too much. I can't-” 

His breath hitched and Jenna pulled back. Not enough to break the contact or the closeness, but enough to watch him, eyes searching. “I'm sorry, Ty. I never should have put this on you, this secret-”

“It's not just that,” He interrupted, and she stalled, allowing him to continue. “It's everything. The lying, about us, about you. Pretending to be something we're not,” another small hitch here, and he tried to clear his throat, tried his best to get what he wanted to say out. 

“I don't wanna be here. I want to go home .”

Jenna stiffened, her eyes searching his, slowly twisting into something else, something more intense. She was still concerned, still sympathetic, but there was something edged underneath. Something cautious. 

“Tyler…. You know we can't.”

The words were heavy, a finality sparking through them, cold and painful. Tyler swallowed down another sob and Jenna's expression softened, her head dipping to meet his eyes. 

“Did something happen, Ty?” She asked, inquisitive but still as soft as ever, lulling him.

He opened his mouth to answer, wondering where he should even begin. 

But before he could think on it too long, there was a series of bangs at the door, loud, fast and heavy enough to jostle it against the frame. Jenna bolted upright, her eyes wide as she looked to where the noise came from before her gaze returned to Tyler, who was sitting, matching her expression.

And then, there was dread. Because Tyler had a small feeling, gnawing and wriggling in the pit of his stomach, that maybe he knew who was on the other side of that door.

Jenna stood first, hands panicking and half raised. “Stay here,” She said, but she stalled, rutted in place and looking terrified. After a beat, another small series of bangs infiltrated the silence and Tyler stood with the fright of them. 

He breathed, readying himself and began to make his way around the couch and to the entrance. He took one step into the hallway before the voice reached him, fiery and furious. 

“ Tyler , open up!”

He stalled, a half glance back to Jenna, brow dipped deep in a mix of confusion and concern. It was Josh, and the revelation of that caused a swirl in his stomach, fast and spiralling. 

That wasn't who he had thought would be there, not with everything that had happened today. He had thought maybe it was Debby, maybe even Michael, coming to drag him from this place and send him home. The hope of that had been crushed as soon as Josh began banging on the door again, his voice louder now. 

“I know you're in there!”

Tyler moved again and he felt Jenna follow, her actions stiff with fear at the noise, her frame flinching against each loud bang. 

He stepped forward, fingers tightening around the handle as he squeezed, pulling the heavy door open.

And behind, stood Josh; shoulders tense, posture stiff and hands balled into fists. He was trembling, brows knit and his mouth drawn into a straight unwavering line. 

Tyler swallowed, confusion clear on his face and wide eyed, lips dry. When he opened his mouth to speak, Josh raised a pointed hand, jabbing it in Tyler's direction. 

“You knew ,”

His tone was low, tense, filled with something Tyler had never heard there. Not even in all the arguments they had had before. Not when Tyler pushed his buttons or pulled at threads. It was new, a side to Josh he had never seen. 

Tyler opened his mouth again, stunned. But he couldn't get anything out. Like a deer in the headlights, he was completely frozen, feet rooting him, bracing. 

“How long did you know?” Josh continued, voice never wavering, still keeping the sharp, fierce tone from before. 

A dark realisation dawned on Tyler. Surely, he wasn't talking about Debby… right? How on earth would he have found out? Tyler hadn't said a word, hadn't given any clues, any indication. Had Josh noticed something? 

Tyler swallowed hard, throat tight. “ Josh ,”

“Don't!” Josh shouted again, picking up on a sympathetic tone, something he did not want to hear. “Don't lie to me. Not anymore,” 

Jenna stepped forward then, a shaking hand raised, ready to mediate the situation. She was good at this kind of stuff, but Tyler couldn't help but notice that she was trembling. 

“Josh, I think you should leave.” Her voice was hard, firm. Despite her shaking form, her gaze was strong and steady. 

Josh's eyes only flicked over to Jenna's, a quick flash before they were on Tyler again, completely ignoring her. 

“So what was that all about then?” He began, taking a step forward now and coming dangerously close to intruding far past where he was welcome. 

“The music, the friendship. Was it like some sick joke that only I wasn't a part of?” His voice was angry now, tinged deep with something untapped, something raw and rimmed with mourning. 

Tyler's eyes pricked, filling because there was no way for Josh to know how wrong he was. Trying to convince him of that now, while he was like this, would be useless. 

“Josh, I-” Tyler began, his voice trailing, he noticed Jenna looking at him now, listening. “It wasn't my secret to tell.” 

But that didn't help. In fact, it had just made the situation a whole lot worse. 

Josh took another step in, breaching the entrance before his hands came up, balling the fabric of Tyler's shirt and pulling him close. Jenna let out a soft yelp from the side, stumbling back and calling Josh's name in an effort to distract him, but it was no good. 

“I don't care,” Josh was close, so close Tyler could feel his breath, hot on his skin. “You were supposed to be my friend.” 

The venom ran deep in his tone, every word echoing with the betrayal, and for a brief flash, Tyler was reminded of the moment they had shared only hours ago. His face flushed, deep crimson as he stumbled, flustering to catch his balance before he placed a hand on Josh's chest, trying his best to keep him at arms length. 

“Friend?” Tyler spat back, regaining a little of his balance, faltering a bit but bracing himself against the door frame. “Is that what friends do? Is that why you ki-”

He didn't have time to finish his sentence, because Josh had surged, yanking him forward as his free hand whipped around in a jab, the punch landing hard and firm at the corner of Tyler's mouth. 

The pain was instant, ears ringing as he stumbled back, hitting the open door and sliding down against it, landing on the floor with a thud. He had heard Jenna scream, heard her step forward as she shoved Josh away, out of the door frame again, finally creating distance between them. She was on her knees then, hands checking, tilting Tyler's face to the side to inspect the damage. 

His skin was red, raw from the impact that had bloodied his bottom lip, small drops rolling down his chin before landing and soaking into his shirt, forever staining the fabric scarlet. The bones and muscles in his jaw ached as Tyler blinked a couple of times, looking back up and eyeing his neighbour with something deep, eyes boring into Josh's as he looked back. 

For a second, a look of regret flashed across Josh's face, but in an instant, it was gone. Again masked by the anger, the hurt and the betrayal that ran too deep to be covered up for long. 

There was a beat of silence, broken only by a soft sob coming from Jenna, who was still fawning over her husband, hands frantic and searching. 

From the doorway, Josh grit his teeth, hands balling into fists again. “Just stay away from me. From us .” he spat with a pointed glance at Jenna. She seemed to flinch at that, too stunned to put up more of a fight before he turned on his heel, leaving them both in silence.

Josh was gone, his footsteps fading before they heard a slam from one house over, the sound echoing.

Tyler leaned back against the door, breath heaving as he brought his hand to his jaw, fingers coming away soaked with blood. Jenna looked as though she was just about holding herself together, tears heavy and eyes red, a stark contrast to her icy blues.

Silence sat between them for a long beat, heavy and raw.

“Well.” Tyler was first to break it, wiping his bloodied fingers on his shirt. “That went to hell fast.”

When Jenna spoke again, she exhaled shakily, her voice soft. “I didn’t think he’d ever find out.” Was all she squeaked, voice hoarse. Tyler’s eyes flicked to her briefly before he looked down, not really knowing what to say. 

“I’m sorry.” Jenna’s voice came again, barely above a whisper now.

“For what?” Tyler shifted his weight, leaning a hand back against the door as he hoisted himself onto his feet again, knees shaking before he steadied himself. “Letting me be the one who gets punched? Or the part where I was lying to someone I cared about?”

He couldn’t help it. He knew it was unfair, but things had escalated, and fast. He couldn’t help but feel that, in a little way deep down, she must know this was her fault.

Jenna’s lip quivered as she got to her feet, hands moving to usher him inside as she closed the door behind them. “I didn’t want you in the middle, Tyler.” She said, but her tone was uneven, hands ringing together as they stood facing each other now

“Jenna, I live in the middle of it. Of all the lies, that’s what this whole thing is.” He motioned between the two of them, bringing his free hand up to wipe against his still bleeding lip. “What this whole town’s about.”

There was a moment of silence, both eventually shuffling their way into the kitchen. Jenna rounded to the sink, soaking a cloth in cold water before she made her way back, cleaning Tyler’s lip with a gentle, practiced hand. When she spoke again, it was composed.

“I never meant to hurt you either. You didn’t ask for this.” 

Tyler just shook his head. There was no malice in his tone - just exhaustion. “I chose this too,” He began, wincing a little as Jenna moved the cloth over the open wound. “Because I care about you, and Debby.” He paused, finally meeting her eyes. “And Josh.”

Jenna’s face softened at that, curious. She didn’t ask, didn’t pry, but there was a look on her face, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “I see.”

She was too good at reading him, and Tyler broke eye contact, allowing her to clean him up as best she could before he spoke again.

“But now… I think I might have ruined it.” 

Another silence stretched between them. Jenna had finally set the cloth down, and she leaned against the counter next to him, their shoulders brushing.

“Tyler, this place gave us a way to survive, but it also made us liars.”

He huffed out a breathy laugh, folding his arms over his chest. “We were already liars. That’s why we were picked.”

A second passed when neither said anything, a sprinkler in the distance clicking on and filling the emptiness.

“And what about Josh?” Jenna asked, stealing a sideways glance to him now but remaining still.

Tyler stalled. What about Josh? Where did he even begin? He didn’t respond right away, fingers flexing in the fabric of his shirt. The memory of the kiss still lingered on his bruised and bloodied lips before he sighed heavily.

“I didn’t know what it was.” He began after a beat, eyes searching the kitchen wall, hoping for an answer. “But I didn’t hate it while it lasted.”

“He’s hurt. But I think he’ll come around,” Jenna echoed beside him, bumping her shoulder against his.

“Not after that. Not after knowing I kept this from him.” 

“Then tell him the truth.” Jenna’s voice was firm now, steady with something that sounded like eagerness, anticipation. As if she was gossiping with her girlfriends and not her husband. Tyler just let out a laugh, hollow.

“That I kept his wife’s affair a secret while I was falling for him behind his back?”

The words hit hard. It was the first time he had voiced something like that, and he went wide eyed, cheeks flaring as Jenna turned to look at him, a small knowing smile on her lips, but her tone still gentle. 

“That you didn’t know what to do with all of it.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, a warm guiding presence, eager for him to do the right thing, not only for her, but for himself too.

Tyler let out a quiet breath of laughter, nodding sharp and honest, almost to himself.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

-o-o-

He couldn’t do it right away. Tyler knew he had to psych himself up for something like that. He had rehearsed the scene so many times in his head; the apology, the explanation and most importantly, his confession. A confession that he wanted desperately to be honest, to convey to Josh how he felt, why he had made the decisions he had, and finally to tell him how he truly felt. About the kiss, about their music. About everything.

It had been two days since the intrusion, and Tyler had heard nothing from his neighbours. He could see it was bothering Jenna. She hadn’t seen Debby this whole time, and it showed in the way she moved, the way she carried herself; fixing things that didn’t need to be fixed, cleaning things that didn’t need cleaning; trying her best to keep herself busy.

They were in the kitchen that morning, the smell of coffee lingering in the air. Tyler stood at the sink, rinsing out his cup. The bruising on his face had darkened over the days that had passed, running down under his lip as a dull reminder of the incident.

Outside, the world looked exactly as it should. Trimmed hedges, dewy lawns, morning light settling over the rooftops like nothing bad could ever happen here.

Then - three quick knocks on the door.

Jenna looked up from the kitchen table. “Expecting someone?”

Tyler frowned, shaking his head before he stopped what he was doing, setting his cup down and drying his hands on the black knee length shorts he had picked out this morning.

He made his way to the hallway, taking a deep breath before he opened the door.

Two men and a woman stood on the porch, smiling widely at him.

“Howdy!” The woman greeted in a chipper tone, a small tablet in her hands as her cheery, wide eyes met Tyler’s. She was wearing a smart, light blue pants suit, a lanyard around her neck and a badge on her hip. Behind, the two men were large, arms thick as they stared at him, mouths in thin lines and in great contrast to the woman who spoke again. “Tyler Joseph?” 

Tyler blinked, and something in him ran cold. “Yes?”

The woman smiled widely, taking a step closer to him. A step closer than what he was comfortable with. When she spoke again, her tone was a bit more hushed.

“We’ve received a report citing some… behavioral irregularities, suspected breach of community stability protocols.”

Tyler’s heartbeat kicked up in his chest. Jenna had walked up behind him, her voice edged with disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?”

The official didn’t look at Jenna, her eyes instead focused and tunnelling on Tyler. For some reason, he couldn’t look away. “You’re to come with us for a short evaluation. Voluntary compliance is expected.”

“An evaluation?” Tyler finally broke his silence, his eyes wide. He wanted to continue, get more information, but Jenna had stepped up now, moving beside him.

“That’s bullshit. He’s done nothing wrong.”

Tyler glanced at her - confusion and dread coiling in his stomach. He thought, for a flicker of a moment, of Josh. The look in his eyes when he threw the punch. The betrayal.

This was his doing.

“It’s okay, Jenna.”

“Tyler-”

He put a hand out to silence her, giving her a shaky smile. Not for comfort. For goodbye.

“It’s just a check-up, right?”

The official didn’t answer. One of the men stepped forward, placing a hand on Tyler’s arm, firm and guiding him down the porch steps.

But Jenna was panicked. She called out after him, voice breaking. “I’ll call Michael! I’ll go to the town board-”

But the men were already walking Tyler down the drive. A nondescript gray car idled on the curb, its windows tinted black and the back door open and waiting.

Tyler didn’t resist. Didn’t fight. But as he slipped into the backseat, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the window - and something about his eyes looked hollow already.

Over his shoulder, he saw him there, standing on his porch, brows dipped and expression just as angry and furious as the days previous; Josh.

And then the door shut and the car pulled away.

Chapter Text

It was late again. The neighbourhood was silent, save for the occasional hum of streetlamps or a dog barking in the distance. The quiet was unnerving, bringing with it the stillness that invited the thoughts Josh had been trying to outrun. 

He sat on the couch, television offering a hum of noise in the background as he rolled a full bottle of beer between his hands, eyes searching the wall across from him.

He hadn’t touched his drum kit all week. As his gaze wandered, they locked on the bass guitar propped against the wall, neglected to the point where it had started to collect dust. Josh had meant to return it to Jenna days ago, but he hadn’t worked up the courage. Not yet. 

He should have been back by now. They said it was just an evaluation, just a check-in. Right? That's what they had told him.

Josh’s jaw tightened as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, focus still locked on the bass guitar. 

Why had he wanted this again? As much as Josh hated to admit it, he had wanted to hurt Tyler as much as Tyler had hurt him. 

His eyes slipped shut. Did it feel good? Tyler had been missing for a week. No word, no news, no movement. Nothing. He was just… gone. So did Josh feel better now? Had it been worth it? 

You were angry - Josh thought to himself. And you had every right to be. He let you believe in something that was never real - your marriage, your goddamn life. And he just stood there and watched it all unravel.

The statements flooded his mind. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t already repeated to himself many times this past week, but Josh persisted, trying desperately to convince himself. 

He had kissed you back.

He stood abruptly, setting the beer down on the coffee table. Somehow, someway, that thought always interrupted him. Always interrupted his line of thinking, his convincing. And every time it did, a sharp pain flicked in Josh’s chest, bringing with it a dull ache that could last all night. 

And maybe that’s the part that scared you more than the lies. 

He rubbed his face, making his way to the window. The street was dark, perfect and quiet. 

What if he was wrong? 

“Tyler… where the hell are you?” 

-o-o-

The next morning he dusted off the bass guitar, packing it back into its sturdy case and flicking the latches closed, the sound ticking a sense of finality in him. If he was being honest, he was using it as an excuse to touch base with Jenna, see if she heard anything and most importantly, to apologise. 

He hadn’t realised Tyler would be gone this long. If he had known… maybe things would have played out differently. 

He hefted the heavy case onto his back, but it was the weight in his stomach - a quiet churn of nerves - that felt harder to carry as he crossed the lawn. 

He wrapped on the door, gave three quick knocks, and then waited. When Jenna answered, there was no greeting, no smile, just a blank stare, and Josh felt his heart pick up in his chest. 

Jenna was a mess. She stood there, face gaunt and tired, bags under her eyes and an old oversized sweater drowning her. When her gaze met Josh’s, she shuffled on her feet but said nothing. 

“Hey.” Josh awkwardly began, his eyes flicking away from her occasionally, not quite able to settle on her current state for too long before the guilt started gnawing at him. 

It was the first time they had seen each other since that day, and Jenna only responded by folding her arms across her chest, a burning gaze never leaving him. 

“I wanted to check on you,” 

That finally caused her to react, and she let out a laugh, sharp and humourless. “Check on me? Now?” 

Josh faltered, concerned expression deepening. “Yeah, I… I didn’t think it would go this far, Jenna. They said it was just an evaluation… a wellness thing.” 

“You reported him.” She suddenly spat, teeth gritted, and Josh looked away. 

“I know.” 

“You filed a formal complaint and watched them drag him out of this house like he was dangerous. Like he was a threat. You let them take him, and now he’s gone.” 

Her voice cracked on the last word, and she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes like she could will the tears that had begun to spill back in. 

Josh shuffled, the guilt rising in his chest, fast and unrelenting. “H-He lied to me.” 

“We all lied. That’s what this town runs on.” Jenna’s expression contorted, moving from distraught to furious. “But why did you have to single him out?” 

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. The silence weighed on them, and Jenna quietly started to cry again, balling up her sleeves and using them to muffle the sounds. 

Josh moved the case off his back, setting it down by the front door as Jenna eyed him.

“Do you even care if he comes back?” 

He froze, his hands beginning to tremble. This wasn’t really how he had pictured this conversation going, hadn’t really anticipated Jenna being so confrontational. 

“Of course I do,” He replied, quiet and defeated. That’s why he was here, but he didn’t know how to say that to her without revealing just how much he cared. 

“Then why does it feel like you wanted this?” Her tone was cold, vision still locked to him, still searching, as if he might hold the answer on how to bring Tyler back, might give her some information that she had been missing. 

But Josh felt himself tick, felt the guilt reach an unbearable peak in his stomach, and he snapped back. “Because I didn’t know what else to do!” He stepped away, shaking his head. “He knew about you and Debby, maybe for weeks, and he never said a damn word.” 

Jenna had flinched, her gaze flashing down the road to make sure no one was in earshot. Josh continued, “He watched it come apart and he just stood there.”

“He was trying to protect me.” Jenna’s tone was sharp, her lips drawn into a frown as she watched him, incredulous at his audacity. 

“Well, he should’ve protected me too.” Josh’s voice broke, and he felt it, something deep in him finally swelling out, overbearing and undeniable. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he blinked, wishing them away. 

For a second, Jenna’s expression softened. She let the silence between them stretch, let Josh compose himself, before she spoke again. 

“You miss him.” 

He looked away, lip quivering before he bit into it, his self control wavering. Josh breathed, thinking over the statement, stomach dropping when he realised how right she was. “You don’t know what I feel.” 

“No? Then why haven’t you touched your drums since he left?” 

That hit him like a punch. Of course she would have heard them practice, and now the house was silent while she sat there alone, waiting - listening for the sound of their music. For the sound of anything. 

When Josh didn’t answer, Jenna stepped out. There was something in her gaze that unsettled him, but he tried his best to hold it. 

“I see it.” She began. “You’re angry because it hurts. Because something mattered - and now it’s gone. And you think if you stay mad, it’ll feel less like grief, right?” 

He swallowed something sharp in his throat, tried his best to push down the uncomfortable tightness that was forming that only came from such honest and brutal words, but it was useless. He spoke, voice raw and quiet. “I just wanted to check on you, not get picked apart.” 

“And I just want you to admit you made a mistake.” 

There was another long pause, awkward and heavy… but maybe not as crushing as it had been before. Josh breathed through his nose, finding it a little easier now. 

“What if I did?” His tone was different. Less confrontational and more confiding, tinged a bit with longing. Whether it was longing for advice or answers, Josh didn’t know. 

And Jenna, she had noticed. Noticed the subtle shift in his stance, the quiet desperation in his voice, and she sighed. “Then fix it.” 

“I don’t know how.” 

“Then find a way,” She said a bit more firmly, finally leaning over to take the case he had set down by the front door. “Before it’s too late.” 

With that she disappeared inside, shutting the door after her, figure weighed down with the exhaustion of the past week. He stood for another beat, her absence heavy as he chewed his lip in thought, eventually making his way off the porch and to his car.  

-o-o-

He had found himself, for the third time in the past 2 weeks, in Michael's pristine office. He drummed his fingers on the table awkwardly, watching as the older man rummaged through his desk, eventually producing a small, black file holder. Michael waved it a bit, before setting it down on the desk in front of him. 

He didn't look happy, Josh thought. Well, it was hard to tell when it came to someone as controlled as Michael, but Josh couldn't help but feel that every time he entered this office, the patience and care he had been given to start with was wearing more and more thin. 

“So,” Michael began, fingers turning to the first page of the file. From his spot across the desk, Josh could see a small picture of Tyler, almost like a mugshot. A lot of time had passed since it was taken, Tyler's hair missing the blonde tips, his cheeks and eyes sunken and heavy. He looked a lot better now. Like, a lot bett-

Focus, Josh scolded himself, forcing his gaze back up to Michael. 

“You want to withdraw your complaint?”

Josh swallowed tightly, his hands fiddling, leg bouncing against his chair as he nodded. “Yes. I was angry when I made it. I… I think I made a mistake.”

Michael's lips twisted up, controlled and practiced, into a smile. Something about it sent a shiver down Josh's spine. 

“Joshua, do you know what keeps a place like this running?” He asked, and for a second, Josh was too stunned by the sudden veer in conversation to answer. A beat passed, and he shook his head. 

“Order.” Michael clasped his hands together on the desk. “And control.”

Something about his answer made Josh feel cold, but he waited. No movement, no sound, not even a blink. 

“People like to think that if you provide them with everything, there would be no more strife, no more conflict.” Michael had turned the page on Tyler's file, his picture disappearing out of sight.  

“But that is simply not the case. In fact, I would argue that without the stresses of everyday life, people actually tend to cause more issues, they notice things quicker, even get bored, maybe.”

He slipped a small piece of paper from the file, and Josh recognised it. It was his complaint. 

“You are one of those people, Joshua.”

Josh didn't know what to say. It sounded like an accusation, but Michael still had that thin smile on his face, all knowing. He set the page down, finger running along the lines as he read Josh's complaint back to him. 

“‘To whom it may concern, I, Joshua W Dun,” Michael paused here, peeking up to the owner of that name, sitting across from him, cheeks red and frustrated. 

“...am submitting this report regarding concerns with my neighbour, Tyler R Joseph. Over the past several weeks I have witnessed increasingly erratic and concerning behaviour that I believe warrants professional evaluation.’ This was you, right Joshua?”

Josh gave a short nod. Of course, it was him. He had sat in this same office a week ago when it had happened and filled it out himself. He deflated, defeated in his seat. It felt like a lifetime ago. 

“Yes, but-”

“No buts, Joshua.” Michael interrupted, raising the paper up now and continuing. “You said, and I quote here, ‘Mr. Joseph displays emotional volatility, social withdrawal and deceptive conduct, including withholding important personal information which could have affected the integrity of our assigned domestic units.’...”

Every word Michael spoke dug the knife in deeper. Josh squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he had written those things, knew he had truly felt it at the time, but right now it was distant, far behind him, like something else had taken hold of him and forced him to write it. 

But it hadn't. It had been Josh, and the acceptance of that made him feel sick, hatred bubbling underneath the surface for no one but himself. 

“I know,” Josh began after a moment. “I know what I wrote, but what I'm telling you is, I didn't mean it.”

“So you lied?”

“No, I-” Josh let out a frustrated groan, and the sound caused Michael to change from his usual composed face, to a look of inquisition, his brow raised. 

“Listen,” Josh continued before Michael could interrupt and torture him with more of the complaint. He leaned forward, hands on the desk. “I meant it, at the time. I didn't lie. But I was angry. Dramatic, even.”

Michael reclined back in the chair, watching him closely. He seemed to come to an answer in his head, and he looked down, setting the letter back into the file. 

“Tyler is being looked after, do not worry. Routine mental health review. It's nothing out of the ordinary, Joshua, really.”

He didn't believe him. Josh shuffled in his seat. “He's been gone for a week.”

Something in Michael's expression changed, something subtle, but Josh caught it. The narrowing of his eyes, the tightness of his lips. He almost looked suspicious. 

“These things take time. We're thorough here, you know that, Joshua.”

He did, unfortunately. He had been here a lot longer than Tyler, had seen the amount of red tape, processes and procedures there were to everything. Even so, Josh wasn't prepared to leave it at that. 

“I just want to make sure he's okay. He wasn't really unstable before… just, under pressure.”

Michael finally tipped the file shut, letting it close to signal that his patience was wearing thin and this meeting should come to an end. Josh flinched at the cold snap, but made no movements to leave. 

“You were the one who made the complaint, Joshua.”

“Yeah well, I think I overreacted. People say things when they're angry-”

“We don't take accusations like that lightly,” Michael interrupted now, making no more attempts to calm or keep his voice even. “Especially when it comes to community safety. But Tyler wasn't ‘locked away’ if that's what you're imagining. He's at a wellness center, getting rest, guidance.”

Michael had slid back on his office chair, filing the small black folder back into his desk and tipping the drawer shut, albeit with a lot more force than he had intended. 

But still, Josh didn't move. Didn't flinch. Didn't budge. He sat there, eyes locked on Michael's, determined not to take no for an answer. 

“Can I see him?”

Michael took a moment, looking amused at this. He shook his head. “That's typically not allowed during evaluation.”

“He's not a danger,” Josh was quick to interrupt, his voice finding a bit of desperation. “He's quiet. Thoughtful. Smart. He doesn't need this.”

Michael leaned back in his chair again, vision searching. Like he had just clocked into something he hadn't noticed before. 

“It's about more than need, Joshua. It's about ensuring our residents are emotionally fit for the freedoms they've been given. Tyler was showing signs of detachment, confusion. That's all,”

Josh took a moment, lips running dry. He had never used those words in his report. “What does that mean?”

“It means we're making sure he can re-enter the community healthy, like anyone else would expect.”

He didn't believe him. Not a word. But this was proving to be a useless exercise and Josh knew that no matter how long he pried, no matter how long he pleaded and begged, it wasn't going to change the outcome of his actions. The acknowledgement weighed heavy on him, and he stood from his seat. 

“When can we expect him back?” He asked, already convinced that Michael probably wouldn't give him a straight answer. Regardless, it was worth a shot. 

“Within the next week, and I can promise Joshua, he'll be a changed man, better for it.”

The words sunk something deep in him, something dreadful. Because even knowing how bad this situation had gone, even with how angry he had been, Josh didn't want a new man back. He wanted Tyler. 

-o-o- 

The drive home had been short. Too short for Josh to wrap his head around the conversation with Michael. Too many questions bubbled up to the surface. What wellness center was Tyler in? What did Michael mean by ‘new man'? Maybe there was a way for Josh to find him, but even if he did, what then?

He pulled up in the driveway, cutting the engine as he sat with the questions, turning them in his head as he watched both houses, silent, so quiet that they might as well be empty. 

Josh would give a lot to have some noise back. Anything. To be able to play with Tyler again, to be able to hear Debby singing, or rambling about her day with… Jenna. 

It was all his fault. In one day, at the peak of his anger, he had ruined everything. He had been furious, yes, and betrayed. But was it worth all of this? Was it worth the silence?

And what about Debby? Her deception ran deep, the churn of it running through him every time he looked at her, every time their eyes met. So what now? Did he have any right to keep her away from what she wanted most? 

Josh stared at his house, thinking back to the first day they arrived. Thinking back to when they first met, their first date, everything. How far back did the deception go? Had she ever really loved him?

He hadn't noticed how tight he was gripping the steering wheel. Not until he let go, a dull ache running through his fingers. Maybe just after a bitter defeat in Michael's office wouldn't be the best time to talk to her, but what else could he do?

Josh slipped out of the car, making his way up to the porch. When he unlocked the door and pushed it open, the same silence that had become commonplace all week greeted him. No music, no singing, no sound of her baking. Nothing. It was like Tyler had gone, and taken all of the life out of the two houses at the end of the cul-de-sac. 

Well, Josh had sent him away, really. Had forced him away, and had forced the life out of his home along with him. 

He breathed, hanging his keys on the small hook as Jim looked up from the couch, not even greeting him with his regular ‘boof’ and excitement. Instead, the dog glanced up, gave a heavy yawn, and went back to his quiet slumber on the couch. Even Jim knew something was deeply wrong. 

Josh had to do something. They couldn't keep going like this. He could count on his hand the amount of times he had seen Debby since that day. She had taken to locking herself in her room, completely mute save for the nights he heard her cry herself to sleep. 

Something panged deep in his chest, and as he ascended the stairs, the dull ache made itself more prominent with each step. He needed to do something. Things couldn't stay like this. 

He reached the door to their bedroom, laying a hand on the sturdy wood and leaning in, listening. There was nothing, no sound, no movement. But Josh knew she was in there. He gave a quick knock, waiting for a moment. When the call went unanswered for a bit too long, he turned, sighing with defeat. 

“Come in.”

Her voice was hoarse, rasping out the words like it was shaking off the rust of being unused. He heard her clear her throat, and thought for a moment that he should have brought her something, a glass of water, or any other peace offering. But it was too late for that, because she had answered, and it was the first time she had done that all week. 

Josh pushed open the door. The atmosphere that greeted him was suffocating. The blinds and curtains had been drawn, shutting out the light from outside and the rest of the world with it. When he stepped in, the floorboards creaked in protest, as if the very room itself was hissing at him, telling him he wasn't welcome here. 

Debby was perched at the end of the bed, facing the window. The blankets had been drawn up around her, wrapping her small frame tightly, protectively, and when she heard the door open, she looked over her shoulder. Josh could tell by her profile that her face was gaunt, cheekbones prominent in her silhouette before she turned away again, saying nothing. 

Another step in. And another, before he closed the distance to the bed, placing a hand on the footboard. 

They said nothing, the lack of noise filled only by the ticking of the clock on the dresser, each second a loud boom. 

Debby was first to break it, not turning to look at him, but instead gazing at the small gap in the curtains, as if she wanted to see the light, but couldn't bring herself to move. 

“What do you want?” There was no bite in her words, no malice. It was just a heavy question, thrown out there for the sake of it, no energy in her at all to sugar coat it like she usually would. 

Josh swallowed thickly, intent on making his way around the bed but stopping when he noticed the twitch in her shoulder. 

“We should talk,” Josh began, opting instead to seat himself on the opposite side of the bed, facing the door and awkwardly placing his hands on his lap. When she felt his weight on the mattress, she shuffled a bit, facing him before getting comfortable with a small sigh. 

But that was the only response he got, because after that, Debby went quiet again. 

“Debby,” Josh tried, glancing over his shoulder at her. He had only wanted to glance, to make sure she was okay, but he had to double take, because he caught sight of it. The single tear running down her cheek. He turned, but remained seated, his lips twitching into a frown. 

“Debby?” 

That was enough. She buried her face in the blankets, quiet sobs forcing their way out of her, and Josh reached a hand out, unsure if it was the right move. 

But it was, because she leaned in, blankets falling from around her before she reached him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her close, arms around her tight, and just seeing her like this, her body trembling in his arms, was enough for tears to prick at his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry, Josh,” she blurted out, the tension that had been building in the room finally cracking open and spilling out after a long week. “I never meant to hurt you, I never meant-”

She was cut off by another sob, and he tightened his grip around her, holding her as she worked through it. He could see it now, see that it had been eating her up inside, probably for a lot longer than he knew. Maybe even since the beginning. 

It had taken a while to calm her down, and they sat there, holding each other. But it was the first time that Josh had been able to put his arms around her and she hadn't stiffened, hadn't pulled away, hadn’t flinched at his touch. In fact, she leaned into it, needed it. Because this time there was no expectation behind it. This was the real Debby he was holding, not as his wife, but as his friend. 

When they eventually broke apart, Debby slipped her hand into his, and told him everything. 

To start, she had never intended to use marriage as a way to get into the initiative. Debby had tried to apply as a solo participant, but had been rejected eight times. Knowing that the success rate for solos was much lower than applying as a couple, she had devised a plan to find someone to apply with. 

“I was hoping I would find someone, like me,” she emphasised, and Josh looked down at their hands still joined, but didn't interrupt. “I had heard a story on the news. A man and a woman had entered, lying about their sexuality and they had been kicked out. It scared me.”

“So you decided to find a straight guy?” Josh's voice was quiet, and Debby's lip quivered. 

“I'm sorry,” she said for what felt like the thousandth time since they had started. Josh squeezed her hand, but she continued. 

“Josh, you have to understand.” She brought the blanket up to wipe a stray tear from her eye. “I wasn't going to just pretend. I was going to live it. I was prepared to shove that part of myself away, forever. To be your wife, to have your kids.”

Josh's heart sank. What she was describing… it wouldn't have been a life. It would have been a prison, a constant battle with herself to keep up appearances. To force herself to do… all kinds of things that went against every instinct and desire she was born with. The dull ache in his chest was familiar, but he couldn't place it, didn't have enough time to pinpoint it before she was talking again. 

“I was prepared for all of that, because there is no room for people like me here. There is no relief from the outside for us.” 

Her words struck him, cold and unforgiving. Of course there wasn't. Why had he never thought of that before?

A sense of unfairness and injustice swelled inside, and Josh breathed through his nose. His wife, a woman he had thought he loved, had been living a lie this whole time, even since the start. He knew he should have been angry, knew he should have despised her, but seeing her here, defeated and run down, exhausted from the weight of it all… he just couldn't bring himself to hate her. 

Giving Debby’s hand another tight squeeze, Josh sighed. “And then Jenna happened?”

The smile she returned to him was guilty, eyes watery as if even the mention of Jenna's name was enough to relieve some stress, to relieve the ache inside of her. 

“And then Jenna happened.”

They sat for a moment, something small between them growing. Trust. He had listened to her fears, accepted her apologies and comforted her worries. Josh would never have been the type to hold a grudge, even on the outside, and while the relationship had been a lie, he couldn't bring himself to fault her. Not when she was terrified. 

He thought of Tyler. He had been right this whole time. This place… it did things to people. Made them act in ways they never would, made them do things they would regret, hide parts of themselves, lie, cheat, kill. All just to be here. 

Josh had been a victim of this too. He had reported Tyler, had watched them drag him away. And for what? To continue living a lie?

Debby noticed his shift and leaned in, a hand on his cheek, warm and comforting. “Are you okay?” 

He hadn't said much this entire time, just listened to her, just tried to understand. But now it was his turn, and Josh was unsure of where to begin. 

“I think I messed up,” He began, voice tight. “I think I really messed up… with Tyler.”

Debby removed her hand from him, setting them down on her lap before she idled with a small thread on the comforter. He could tell by the way she didn't want to meet his eyes that she must have thought the same. 

“Was there… something between you?” She asked, always knowing how to steer the conversation, how to get him thinking. 

But Josh just chewed his lip, gaze finding the small gap in the curtains, the sky blue and cloudless outside. “I… don't know. I didn't give it enough time before I…”

He trailed off here, and Debby's eyes flicked up to meet his. He couldn't help but notice how much lighter she looked, a small, sympathetic smile tugging at the corner of her mouth before she nodded. 

“It will be okay,” she said, voice soft as if it was her turn now to take the worries in him and make the pain a bit easier to carry. “He will come back, and when he does, you need to talk to him.”

Josh furrowed his brow, thinking. He knew she was right, knew that there would be plenty of time for that when he returned, but the anxiousness in his stomach was making it hard to wait. 

Just then, Debby let out a small laugh. He looked up to her, face relaxing a bit. 

“I'm sorry, I just…” she looked a bit guilty and bit her lip to stop herself, hand running through the back of her shabby hair. “I know I shouldn't laugh… but the look you get when you talk about him,”

Josh felt his cheeks flare, his neck burning almost immediately. “Wh-What do you mean?”

“You just,” she tried to be serious, tried her best to even her expression into something else, but her lip tugged, giving her away. “You look like a damn puppy. I should have noticed it before. Well, I did, but-”

“Debby!” Josh interrupted, eyes wide. “Please don't tell me I get a look,”

She let go, finally falling into some laughter, finding it easy, like a relief. “Oh you don't just get a look.” She giggled, hand coming up to her mouth. “You get the look,”

He groaned at that. He was sure his face must have been beet red by now, he could even feel his ears flaring. But despite that, Josh felt himself smile. 

Maybe, just maybe, things would be okay in the end. 

Chapter Text

“It's only Wednesday, Josh. Michael said before the week is out.”

Josh paced the kitchen, hands wringing before he stopped, running his fingers through his curls. Debby idled at the counter, tipping the kettle and filling a cup to the brim, the smell of coffee filling the air like a blanket meant to soothe. 

But it wasn’t doing much good. Josh bit his lip, slipping into one of the kitchen chairs, then tossing his phone that he had left there from one hand to the other, his brain running, sprinting, desperate to keep up with the situation. 

Tyler was still gone. It had been another couple of days with no updates, and each hour that passed had Josh on a thin line, tipping him closer and closer to the edge. His leg bounced, nervousness trying desperately to find any release out of his body, any escape. 

Debby was almost back to her usual self, fussing over him, always hanging around but never overbearing. She set the coffee in front of him, placing her warm hand on his shoulder. Something about it caused the shake of Josh's leg to slow, eventually stopping as he breathed. 

He knew she wanted to be somewhere else. He knew that having to care for him, having to watch out for him and make sure he didn't get too frantic, didn't fall into the spiral of self hatred, meant that she couldn't go where she really needed to; to Jenna. 

Lifting the cup to his lips, Josh sipped the coffee, the scent of it enveloping him before he let out another sigh. 

“I know,” he began, looking up to her, expression jaded as the emptiness that Tyler had left was beginning to weigh him down, his eyes tired and heavy. “I just… I don't want to wait. I feel like I'm going crazy, sitting here. Waiting .”

He hadn't anticipated it. The guilt in his stomach had twisted and contorted into something a lot more painful, something more potent. Now that he didn't need to worry so much about the situation with Debby, his brain had decided it was time to focus entirely on Tyler with little to no rest. Where he was, what he was doing, when he was coming back, if he could somehow find him. All of it. 

And if it wasn't for the woman standing next to him, Josh was sure he would have spiralled, nose dived right off the edge of uncertainty, starving himself with guilt or worse, getting himself and Debby thrown out of the initiative and never seeing Tyler again. 

“Well, you're going to have to.” She returned matter of factly, plopping herself down into the seat across from him. “Do you really think they're doing anything bad? C’mon , Josh.”

Debby still carried some of the trust for this place unconsciously. Most times, she would catch herself, apologising or back tracking, but sometimes it was like an automatic response, something built into her from months of drinking the kool-aid.

She shook her head, looking apologetic. “I mean, legally , they can't hurt him, right?”

That much was true. It was in their contracts. Any injuries sustained or medical procedures needed during their time here was fully covered by Mulberry Co. So what use would it be to bring on those expenses voluntarily?

He didn't answer, instead opting to sip his coffee again, his head buzzing a bit too much with thoughts. 

But something pulled him out of it, stalled the constant stream of questions. Debby's phone had lit up, vibrating against the wood of the table, and for a brief moment, Josh thought it might be a message from Jenna. That was until his own phone mirrored the action, giving an angry hum by his cup. 

Debby was the first to move, tapping the screen. “It's from Mulberry Co.,” she quickly informed him before they exchanged a glance. Josh reached for his phone, flicking the screen and opening the notification with a shaky finger. He couldn't wait. What if it was about Tyler?

Dear Valued Resident, 

We hope this message finds you safe, happy and thriving in our little town! We always work hard behind the scenes to ensure our community remains the gold standard of comfort, security and belonging. 

We're pleased to announce that early next week, all resident contracts will be updated to better reflect the needs and values of our small family. This is a standard, routine process and no actions are needed from you at this time. 

Please note: our compliance team is always available to contact with any questions and concerns you might have, and will always be around to ensure a smooth transition. You can rest easy knowing we are always here to take care of every detail. 

Thank you for your continued trust in Mulberry Co. Your happiness is our top priority!

With warmth and gratitude,
The Community Relations Team
“Mulberry Street - so good to see you!”

For a long beat, they said nothing, just stared at their phones, reading and rereading the message so many times that the words started blurring together. Josh eventually locked his screen, setting the phone down with a heavy thud. 

When he looked up, Debby had gone pale. Her gaze flicked to him, unsure and questioning, like it was some joke Josh was in on and he was about to give the punchline. 

“The timing…” she said after a couple of seconds passed. “You don't think…?”

“It has something to do with Tyler.” Josh was sure of it. He tapped his phone again, eyes scanning the message, making sure he didn't miss a single word. “It has to, right?” 

Debby didn't respond. She sat across from him, chewing her lip, hands not knowing whether to rest on the table or reach for the device again. 

“I…” she trailed, her expression unsure before she grabbed her phone and stood. “I have to go to her.”

Her voice was a small plea, brows dipped in guilt. He could tell she didn't want to leave him, not now, not with the words of the message still buzzing in their heads. But the thought of staying, of not checking up on Jenna, of not reconnecting with her for even one more second, was overpowering her. She was torn, waiting for Josh -  waiting for him to be the one to push her towards what she wanted, or pull her back to him. 

She stalled, just enough time to glance up at him again, and Josh felt it. Acceptance. It would be okay. He would be okay. 

He nodded, giving her a weak smile. A small relief washed over Debby, her shoulders relaxing, her posture shifting as she hurriedly made her way over to him, pulling his head to her chest and kissing the top of his curls. 

“Thank you,” she breathed, holding him for a beat longer. “I won't be long.”

“It's okay, Debs.” He replied, lifting a hand to rub her forearm, reassuring her. “It's okay.”

She gave him a grateful nod, setting off for the front door in such a hurry that she had to backtrack and slip her shoes on, grabbing her keys before she slipped out of the house. 

Well, at least they would be able to reconnect. Even if Josh was left waiting in the kitchen, the loneliness engulfing him like a fog, he was happy that she would at least get that. 

-o-o-

Thursday.

Another day, and no news. Nothing.

Josh sat at his drum kit in the music room, sticks gripped tight in each hand, but something stalled him, limbs frozen and heavy. 

He was only trying to distract himself, only trying desperately to grasp his old ability to slip on the mask, to pretend like everything was okay. To convince himself that he was lucky , that he was in the right place, that he was doing the right thing.

But he couldn’t.

Tyler had ruined him.

This was stupid . So, so stupid.

He had been fine before Tyler had arrived. He had been able to play - albeit on his own, but still - so why now, was he rutted, stuttering, slipping and falling around like he didn’t know up from down? Why now, was he incapable of rhythm?

He strummed once on the snare, his stick fumbling and falling between the drums and his breath caught, listening to it clatter loudly before it settled into the carpet. Bending to grab the stick, he noticed his hands were trembling so badly he missed it the first time. And the second. By the third attempt, he swore under his breath and kicked the floor tom, sending a low, hollow boom through the room.

He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, hard enough to see stars. Get it together , he thought, but the words rang futile in his head.

The room was too quiet, too still. He hated it.

Grabbing the fallen stick, Josh started beating the snare, off-tempo, chaotic, each hit louder than the last, until his chest heaved and sweat slicked the back of his neck. It didn’t help. He dropped both sticks and let his head hang.

“Josh?”

He heard Debby call out from downstairs, her voice loud and surprised, like the noise had jolted her into action. But he didn’t answer, just sat, heaving before he heard her hurried footsteps up the stairs.

The sound of the snare still rang faintly in his head, the reverberations crawling through his skull, when Debby entered the room, her voice startling him from the doorway. “Josh?”

When he jerked up, the motion was so sharp it pushed his stool back against the floor. She stood on the threshold, hair pulled back messily, her oversized sweater hanging off one shoulder. Her eyes darted around, first down to the splintered sticks in his hands, then to the scuff mark on the floor tom where he’d kicked it with force.

“Are you… what’s going on? I thought the house was coming down.”

He continued to heave, catching his breath as if he’d just sprinted a mile. “I’m fine,” he rasped, though his voice cracked in a way that betrayed him instantly.

Debby’s expression softened. She took a cautious step closer, like he was some wild animal she didn’t want to spook. “Josh…”

“Don’t,” he snapped, more sharply than he meant to. His eyes burned, his jaw aching from how hard he was clenching it. He bent down, snatching up the drumsticks he had dropped after his outburst and hurled them into the corner with a sharp clatter. “God - just don’t, okay? I don’t want to hear it.”

She didn’t listen. She stepped up beside him as his shoulders began to shake, her hand hesitating over his back before she finally touched him.

And that was all it took.

The dam burst.

A broken sound tore out of him, raw and guttural, and he crumpled forward, folding into himself. Debby tried her best, caught his arm as he collapsed, trying to hold him steady as sobs racked his entire frame.

“I sent him away,” he choked. “I - god, I don’t even know where he is. What if - what if they’ve done something to him?”

“Hey, no, don’t say that,” Debby whispered fiercely, even as the tears welled up and shimmered in her own eyes. She pulled him tighter against her, caught in an awkward sideways hug. “You don’t know that. He’s fine, Josh. He’ll come back.”

He shook his head, grasping tightly to her sweater as she rubbed his back. “I ruined everything,” he said, words muffled and jagged. “I was so angry, and now he’s gone, and I can’t- I can never apologise-”

“Stop,” Debby interrupted, her voice tense and raw, hoarse just from seeing him like this. “Please stop blaming yourself.”

But he couldn’t. The guilt was a weight on his chest, crushing him, pulling each sob out like it cost him a piece of himself. Debby just held him longer, let him break fully, let the tears that had been threatening to spill all week, finally spill.

When he quieted, sagging against her in exhausted silence, she whispered. “Josh… do you love him?”

Josh’s throat tightened, his breath hitching. He didn’t answer, but the silence said enough.

-o-o-

He hadn’t slept. Couldn’t. Not with the thoughts of the last moments he had seen Tyler running through his head, the look in his eyes as he sat back against the door, lip bloodied and hurt , like he couldn’t believe that after everything, Josh would do that. Would punch him.

Josh was on the porch, before the sun had fully risen, nursing a mug of coffee that had long since gone cold, eyes fixed on the empty street. Every few minutes, he’d glance at the house next door, hoping for some sign; light in the windows, a shadow behind the curtains. But it remained still, hollow, like a shell of what it once was.

At this stage, Josh was a shadow of his former self, bags heavy under his eyes, his unshaven face messy as his fingers ran through the scruff absentmindedly, clothes loose and uncoordinated against his frame. A frame that was growing thinner by the day.

He was ready for another day of it. Another day of torture, of thoughts that wouldn’t leave him be, of questions he had no answers to, of guilt and self hatred that he could barely keep contained. He had made a certain peace with it, welcoming it. It was what he deserved, after all, and Josh sat back against the garden chair, hands curling around the cup as he freely let his mind wander.

However, sometime after eight, a sleek black car pulled up in front of Tyler’s house.

Josh had barely noticed it, his lids slipped shut. But it was the sound, the small crackle of rubber against tarmac, that brought him to his senses.

A car had pulled up in front of Tyler’s house.

He shot to his feet, the mug clattering to the porch deck and spilling what little remained of his coffee. He was gripping the railing with both hands, heart hammering so hard in his chest it could almost knock him off balance.

Two officials in grey stepped out first, their expressions flat and business-like as they opened the back door. And then Tyler slipped out.

Josh’s breath caught. Tyler . He was here. And not only that, but he looked fine, like nothing had happened, like he had only left five minutes ago.

But something was… different.

His posture was too straight, his shoulders squared in a way that felt unnatural, like someone had wound him too tightly.

“Tyler!” He couldn’t help himself, Josh had called out from his porch, waving lightly, but when Tyler glanced in his direction, he stalled, hand falling to his side again.

Tyler wore a bright, pleasant smile that in no way reached his eyes. When one of the officials clasped him on the shoulder, he chuckled - a soft, almost practiced sound that made Josh’s stomach turn.

“Good to be home,” Tyler said, loud enough that Josh could hear. He sounded like he was in a commercial, his words practiced and steady. Words that didn’t even sound like him.

Josh stepped down from the porch, his legs stiff. “Tyler,” he tried again, voice cracking.

Tyler turned, taking a few steps to close the distance between them, leaving the men who had brought him by the car and out of earshot. For a fleeting second, Josh thought he saw something flicker in his expression. Confusion? Recognition? But it vanished as quickly as it had formed.

“Josh!” He returned the greeting brightly, like they were old friends meeting at the local barbecue. He strode toward him and clapped Josh’s shoulder with a little too much enthusiasm. “Man, I’ve missed this place. Feels good to be back, you know?”

Josh stared at him, his mouth running dry. “Where… where have you been?”

“Oh, just a little wellness stay,” Tyler replied with the same fixed smile. “They really take care of us here, huh?”

Josh’s chest constricted. He wanted to shake him, wanted to force him to snap out of whatever this was. But the officials were watching from a few paces away, and something told Josh that making a scene would only end badly.

He rang his hands, voice low before he continued with caution. “Look, I was… I was worried… you were just gone . No one would tell me anything.”

Tyler’s smile faltered for just a flicker of a second, so fast Josh might have missed it if he wasn’t tuned in, gaze locked. Tyler looked down at the floor. “You didn’t need to worry. I’m better now.”

Josh’s lungs felt like they were being crushed. “Better?”

“Yeah! Happier. Lighter. Doesn’t it seem that way?” Tyler’s voice pitched unnaturally high. He stepped forward and placed his hand on Josh’s arm - too hard, like he was trying to mimic normal affection. “We should jam again soon. That was fun, wasn’t it? Fun’s important!”

Josh flinched at the contact, though he didn’t pull away. “Tyler… what did they do to you?”

The question was sudden, too sudden. It cut through the tension like a scalpel, cold and clinical.

Tyler froze. His hand lingered on Josh’s arm for a moment longer before he slowly stepped back, shaking his head. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said flatly.

But Josh saw it. The tiniest tremor in Tyler’s jaw, the way his hands curled tight at his sides, like some part of him did know. The brightness slammed back into place a second later and he turned on his heel. “Anyway! I should go. Got lots to do and I bet Jenna has really missed me.”

Josh reached for him without thinking, catching his wrist. “Wait, Ty-”

Tyler looked back to him.

For a heartbeat, Josh swore he saw him . The real Tyler, eyes wet and panicked, staring back like he was trapped under glass. His lips parted, like he wanted to say something.

Then, it was gone.

Tyler pulled his wrist free with a sudden, jarring strength.

“So good to see you, neighbour!” He gave another farewell, more final, before turning and heading up towards his porch steps. He glanced back at the door and waved with that same eerie cheerfulness.

“See you again real soon!”

And then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him.

Josh just stood there for a long time. The officials had slipped back into the car, but never left the curb. His hands had begun to tremble, skin still feeling the weight of Tyler’s grip on his arm, heavy and hollow all at once.

Something was very, very wrong.

Eventually, he backed up a couple of steps, turning and moving up his driveway, slipping into his own house.

Once inside and safely away from the watchful eyes from the car, Josh breathed, the silence pressing against him like a weight.

He should have been relieved. Tyler was back. They could… figure things out now. But the relief never came, never made itself known. Instead, a quiet churn had started in his chest, tight.

He’d been the one to file the complaint. He had been the one to send Tyler away, and now he was back and… different. Too different. 

Josh paced, eventually slipping onto the edge of the sofa, elbows digging into his knees as he dragged his hands down his face. The last day he’d seen Tyler before today, he’d kissed him - God, he’d actually kissed him - and Tyler had run. Josh had been so furious, so blindsided by the betrayal about Jenna and Debby that he hadn’t cared what happened next.

But now?

Now all he could see was Tyler’s smile, stretched thin and unnatural.

What have you done? The question rang out in his head, and he let out a small cry, soft enough to be a whimper. Josh gripped his hair in both hands, tugging hard until it hurt. He couldn’t shake the thought that Tyler wasn’t really here. That maybe the version of him Josh had known - the Tyler who’d sat on the floor with him until 2am trading stupid jokes, the Tyler who’d made music feel like something alive - was gone.

And it was all his fault.

Josh jolted upright, pacing the length of the living room with short, restless strides. Every time he passed the window facing next door, his eyes flicked toward Tyler’s darkened house, as if he might see him through the glass.

Nothing.

Just the suffocating quiet of the neighbourhood.

Josh’s chest tightened. He’d wanted Tyler to hurt when he filed the complaint. He’d wanted him to feel the betrayal Josh had felt. But now, all he wanted was to walk across the lawn, bang on the door until Tyler answered, and tell him he was sorry . 

Instead, he pressed a trembling hand against the wall to steady himself, eyes flicked out the window to the car still pulled up on the driveway, still watching.

“Please don’t be gone,” He whispered. But even as he said it, Josh wasn’t sure who he was talking to. Tyler, or himself.

Chapter Text

Josh sat on the bed, Debby next to him, silent. Her fingers ran over the rim of the mug, brows dipped as she listened.

“He’s not the same,” Josh said, the words rasping out like a confession. “I don’t know what they did to him, but… it’s not him anymore.”

Debby shifted uneasily next to him. She’d been quiet since Josh told her Tyler had come back, just listening, chewing her lip like she couldn’t figure out how to comfort him. “Maybe whatever they did… maybe it rattled him.”

Maybe. He thought over the scene again, the two officials in the car, their watchful eyes looking over their small reunion, monitoring. Maybe Tyler knew. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to make a scene in front of them. But when Josh remembered the practised ease of his words, even when they were out of earshot, he knew the problem had to lie deeper than that.

Josh shook his head. “No. It’s more. He was smiling. Like… like he was pretending to be someone else. It was…” He trailed off, looking down. “I should’ve gone after him yesterday. I should’ve-”

A sound cut him off.

It was faint at first, like a small clatter from downstairs, but it wasn’t soft or natural enough to ignore. Both of them turned to look at the bedroom door at the same time.

Josh pushed himself up first, every nerve on edge. “Did you hear-?”

Debby nodded. “Someone’s in the kitchen.”

Josh was already moving, slipping off the bed, his footsteps silent as he made his way out the door and then carefully down each step. Debby followed, a beat behind, her hand balled into the back of his shirt like she wasn’t sure she wanted to see what they’d find.

When Josh turned the corner at the end of the stairs, he first eyed the wide open front door before glancing down the short hallway into the kitchen. He froze.

Tyler was standing at the counter.

He was barefoot, hair sticking up in uneven tufts like he’d just rolled out of bed. There was a cereal box open on the counter and a black bowl in front of him, but he wasn’t eating. He wasn’t even looking at it. He was just… staring , his hands hanging limply at his sides.

“Tyler?” Josh’s voice cracked, and Tyler’s head snapped up so suddenly it made Debby gasp. His eyes darted between them, wide and bewildered, like he hadn’t realised where he was.

It was the first time he had seen him since his return the day previous and it took everything in Josh not to run up to him, clasp him by the shoulders and pull him into a hug. He didn’t even care about the sudden intrusion, but he stopped himself, displaying a great amount of self control only because of how fearful Tyler looked.

“Hey,” Tyler said, voice thick with sleep. He glanced down at the bowl, then back to both of them. “Uh… I was just…”

“Just what?” Josh asked carefully when he trailed off. He took a step closer, cautious.

Tyler’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. He looked around the kitchen like he was seeing it for the first time before swallowing, forcing some words out. “I… I don’t know why I’m here,” he admitted finally, his voice small, scared. “I woke up and…”

Josh glanced over his shoulder, sharing a nervous look with Debby. He took another step forward, heart hammering in his chest as he reached a hand out to him. “Ty, do you remember coming over?”

Tyler frowned hard, as if trying to force the memory into place. “No. I was at home, and then…” He shook his head, frustrated. “It’s all blurry… I didn’t mean to just… show up.”

He peered down at his hands then, like he’d only just realised they were trembling.

Josh’s throat tightened. He wanted to close the space between them, but something about the fragility in Tyler’s voice stopped him.

“It’s okay,” Josh said softly. “You’re okay. Just… sit down for a second, yeah?”

Tyler appeared as though he was about to reach for him too, his fingers twitching, his eyes terrified. But then something flickered behind his gaze, a sudden shiver running through his entire body. He stumbled back a step, blinking rapidly, and when his vision cleared and found Josh again, the plastic smile was back.

“Oh, gosh!” He forced a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, posture stiffening. “Sorry neighbour! Guess I’m still half asleep. I’ll get right out of your hair.”

“Tyler-”

But he was already moving toward the door, slipping past them, quick and jittery and muttering an awkward goodbye. Josh didn’t know whether to reach for him or not, the situation so bizarre that he was rutted in place, frozen.

Tyler slinked out the front door without another word, grabbing the handle and slamming it shut behind him.

They both stood in the hallway long after he’d gone, dread pooling low in Josh’s stomach.

“Josh…” Debby’s voice was barely above a whisper. “What happened to him?”

He didn’t answer, instead making his way to the kitchen to clean up. He examined the bowl and the cereal box, but besides the fact that they were even out to begin with, nothing else seemed out of the ordinary.

The hours dragged on into the morning. Josh couldn’t sit still. He stood at the kitchen window with his arms folded tight across his chest, staring out at Tyler’s house next door. The curtains were drawn, the place silent as if it had been abandoned all over again.

“H-He’s fine,” Debby said quietly behind him, but her voice didn’t hold much conviction. She had been trying to clean all morning, fluttering around the place in an effort to distract herself. “He just… woke up in the wrong place. It happens. Sleepwalking or…”

Josh shot her a look, sharp and unflinching. The same trust for the initiative stuck to her, her unwillingness to give it up grating on him. “He wasn’t sleepwalking.”

Debby flinched. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do,” he snapped, the words biting before he could stop them. He scrubbed his hands over his face, dragging them down until they hung heavy at his sides. “That smile at the end… that wasn’t him. It was like something caused a switch to flip.”

Debby swallowed hard, moving to sit by the table, her eyes glancing out the window. “Maybe we should tell someone.”

“Tell who?” Josh snarled, spinning on her. “Michael? The higher-ups? You think they’ll actually help him? They’re the reason he’s like this, Debby.”

She didn’t reply, instead fidgeting with her hands on her lap. Josh just turned back to the window, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He could see his own reflection in the glass, eyes bloodshot, jaw tight. He didn’t like it.

Tyler had come back… but not really. And that was somehow worse than if he’d never come back at all.

-o-o-

The day that followed was torture. Josh kept replaying Tyler’s face in the kitchen - how confused he’d looked, raw and human for one unguarded moment. And then… gone. Like someone had reached into his chest and turned the light off.

They had finally made contact with Jenna after she had gone silent for a day. She had agreed to come over, and they both waited in the living room, eager for her to arrive and tell them of any details she might have.

But even the waiting was terrible. He thought about going over there, banging on Tyler’s door, forcing him to talk, forcing him to explain why he’d shown up confused and terrified in their kitchen at six in the morning. But what if he opened the door and it was just… that version of Tyler again? Smiling too big, joking too hard.

Josh wasn’t sure he could stand it. What if... eventually the real Tyler would never slip through again? Should he make the most of these moments, try to pull him back out, try to crack him open like Tyler had first done for Josh when he had arrived?

Thankfully, he didn’t have much time to dwell on it, a series of knocks on the front door ringing out, small and hurried.

Debby was on her feet in a second, and when she pulled the door open, Jenna slipped in. They wasted no time, wrapping their arms around each other in a tight embrace, Jenna kicking the door shut behind her.

“Thank god you’re okay,” Debby breathed, and they stood like that for a beat, not willing to let go of each other quite yet.

It was a bit awkward, yes, but Josh couldn’t help but feel a little relieved at seeing her here, seeing her safe. Debby seemed to relax too and when she pulled away, she checked Jenna’s face one more time, eventually satisfied to see all was well.

They gathered on the couches in the living room. Debby had made tea, setting it down on the coffee table now and pouring out a cup for each of them before Jenna finally breathed.

“So, it’s not good.” she began, eyes fixed on the steam rising and curling up from her cup. “I just… I don’t know what’s going on with him.” Her voice was low, shaking. “We were in the kitchen this morning and… he called me his wife . He tried to-”

Debby’s brow furrowed. She slipped onto the couch next to Jenna, reaching out and laying a hand over hers. “Tried to what?”

“He put his hand on my waist,” Jenna said, her voice strained and exhausted. “Like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like we were… married . Like he actually believed it.” She looked up at Josh, eyes wide and troubled. “He wouldn’t stop smiling either, like he was… proud of it. Asked if he could take a photo of me for his phone background…”

Josh pushed a hand through his hair, a tightness forming in his chest. He knew it wasn’t the time for it… but something was gnawing at him, causing his cheeks to flush in frustration. Was he really jealous?

It definitely wasn’t the time to feel that, so he pushed it down with a clear of his throat before Jenna continued.

“I can’t go near him like this. It’s like he doesn’t even see me. Like I’m just… filling a role in his head.” Her breath had hitched, Debby immediately wrapping an arm around her waist and bringing her closer, comforting her.

“Something’s wrong with him.” Josh continued when the quiet waned a bit too long. “We just have to find out what it is. Whatever they did to him while he was gone, it’s… it’s twisted.”

Worry etched into Debby’s face. “But what can we do? He’s back… we can’t just… accuse the town of messing with him.”

Josh let out a small groan,  a noise that was a mix of frustration and mourning, his fists clenching on his lap. “I don’t care. I’m not going to sit here and pretend it’s fine while he’s walking around like some… some puppet .” His voice cracked a little, but he pressed on. “We have to do something, before it gets worse.”

Jenna grasped her mug again, shoulders trembling. “I’m scared of him,” she whispered. “That’s the worst part. Tyler would never hurt me, but… that’s not my Tyler anymore.”

Jenna needed time to compose herself. Debby rubbed soothing circles over her back as they sipped their tea, the silence heavy.

Eventually, Josh cleared his throat again. “Jenna,” he called, and she glanced up to him, eyes watery. “I know you’re scared, but we need you now.”

A flash of fear crossed her face, before she steeled herself, sniffing through her nose with determination.

“We need you to watch him… look for any cracks, try to spot any way of undoing this. Anything.” Josh continued, a bit of fight in his voice now, like the look she was giving him was fueling him. Jenna gave a firm nod as a response, straightening her back before she focused on Debby, wearing a small smile on her lips. 

“I can do that.”

-o-o-

The next morning, Josh woke early. He had finally managed to get some sleep, albeit not much, but he was feeling better.

The conversation with Jenna had lit a fire within him. Yes, it was jarring to hear of Tyler’s behaviour towards her, and when Josh remembered the fear in her voice, he couldn’t help the tug in his chest. He was sorry to put her through this, but they finally had a plan , and that had to be worth something.

He strolled down the driveway, going to check the letterbox as he would do on any other normal morning, but before he even got there, the sight of his neighbor caused him to stall.

At first, it was nothing too unusual, just Tyler, smiling that same wide, friendly smile as he tugged weeds from his lawn. But then Josh realized Tyler wasn’t actually pulling at the weeds at all. He was tearing at the same patch of earth over and over, yanking fistfuls of grass until the soil was raw and bare.

“Tyler?” Josh called softly, half afraid to break the silence.

Tyler’s head snapped up so fast it was unnatural, his grin faltering. His hands hovered in the dirt, knuckles streaked with mud, eyes wide like a cornered animal.

“Tyler… what are you doing?” Josh moved closer, crossing the property line and taking one single step before Tyler bolted upright.

“Hey, Josh!” he said brightly, voice too loud, too cheery, like the volume dial had been turned all the way up. “Just… just gardening ! Isn’t it a beautiful day for it?”

But his hands shook, and Josh could see deep crescents of dirt under his nails.

“Are you okay? You’re, oh, you’re bleeding.” Josh said, referencing the harsh scrapes on Tyler’s knuckles, small dots of red mixed with mud. He reached out, fingers ghosting under Tyler’s hand before he took it more firmly, lifting it higher to examine.

For a split second, the mask cracked. Tyler’s smile trembled, his eyes flicking down to look at their hands together. There was a small twitch of his fingers, Josh could feel it against his palm and he stilled, not caring about the blood or mud, just feeling the touch, gaze locked on the look of recognition Tyler had.

“Josh…” Tyler’s voice was a whisper, strangled and dry. “I-”

Then, he stiffened. A small jerk in his fingers, harsher than it had been before. His expression smoothed out like someone had hit reset, and he retracted his hand. But there was no undoing the redness in his cheeks, reaching so high it painted the tips of his ears.

“I’m fine!” He chirped, wiping his muddy hands on his pants. “Thanks for checking in, neighbour!”

Josh froze, hand still raised.  Speckles of mud still dappled his skin, a mark of where Tyler had touched him “Tyler…?”

But Tyler was already waving, walking briskly towards his front door with long, mechanical strides.

“Got lots to do today!” He called over his shoulder, cheerful and hollow at the same time. “See you around!”

Josh stood, rutted in place. He felt sick, a pit forming in his stomach and filled with something dreadful. Loss. The loss of Tyler, of the touch, of everything. It was heavy, and his eyes pricked with it, welling.

For a moment there, Tyler had been fighting. He was sure of it.

-o-o-

The neighbourhood was silent when Josh stepped onto Tyler’s porch that night, the kind of suffocating quiet that made every footstep sound like an alarm. He stood there for a moment, fist hovering in the air, heart hammering against his ribs.

This was stupid. He should go back. He should leave it alone. He knew that’s what Jenna and Debby would tell him, but they were too busy, too wrapped up with each other that they hadn’t noticed Josh slipping out of the house to go next door.

But then he thought of Tyler’s gardening… and the appearance in their kitchen that morning - eyes darting around like a trapped animal, voice trembling, that half-formed “ I don’t know why I’m here ” - and Josh knocked before he could stop himself.

Nothing.

He knocked again, harder this time.

There was a shuffle of footsteps from inside. The door opened, and there he was. Tyler.

“Hey neighbour,” Tyler said, voice bright and airy. “Bit late for a visit, isn’t it?”

Josh stared at him, at that smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He felt like he was looking at a stranger, vision glassy and blank, devoid of any real feeling. “Can I… come in?”

Tyler hesitated, just for a fraction of a second, before stepping aside. “Of course. Door’s always open!”

Josh stepped into the house. Everything about it felt wrong. It was too neat, too quiet, and the smell of antiseptic clung to the air, suffocating. He turned then, just as Tyler closed the door behind them.

“Why were you in my kitchen this morning?” He asked, cutting straight through the pleasantries, not allowing Tyler a moment to continue with the charade.

Tyler just blinked, expression bewildered. “I was in your kitchen?”

“Don’t do that.” Josh’s voice cracked, low and sharp. “Don’t… pretend. You were scared, Ty. You didn’t know where you were. And then it was like - like someone turned you off.”

Tyler laughed, too soft, too forced. “You’re imagining things. I’m fine… everything’s fine.”

Josh stepped closer, close enough that he could notice the twitch in Tyler’s jaw, the sheen of sweat on his temple. “You’re not fine. Whatever they did to you… it’s not fine. Look at me, Ty. Please .”

Tyler’s smile faltered. His eyes darted toward the floor, unfocused, almost panicked.

And Josh reached for his arm, desperate. “I know you can feel it. I can help you. Just… just talk to me-”

Tyler yanked away from him with that same, surprising strength. The motion was sharp and uncharacteristic. “You should go home, Josh.” He said. His voice was clipped, harder than Josh had ever heard it.

Josh froze, reaching for him again. “Ty-”

“I said go .” 

Tyler stepped forward, forcing him back with a push to the chest, and Josh was almost knocked off his feet, his hand bracing against the door just in time to catch himself. He had felt Tyler shove against his chest before, but this was different. The force behind it was terrifying.

Wide eyed and unbelieving, Josh pushed himself back up, unwilling to leave it at that. “I know you’re in there, Tyler please. Let me in-”

Tyler flinched. For a second, his face twisted - panic, desperation, pain - but then something jerked through him, sharp and unnatural. “Go. Home.”

The words came out fractured, a static buzz riding his voice. His hands twitched at his sides, fingers curling and uncurling. Josh stepped forward, and Tyler stalled completely, shoulders locked, expression petrified and vision glassy.

“Tyler? Are you okay?”

Then it happened.

A strange sound tore from Tyler’s throat, his body jerking violently before he stepped forward, hands balling in Josh’s shirt. Their eyes locked, Tyler’s spilling with tears, Josh’s panicked. When he spoke, it was frantic, a stream of words bursting out, half syllables, half unnatural garbled static. “C-can’t… I - go… home, J-Jo-”

“Jesus, Tyler!” Josh surged forward, arms ready, wrapping around him and pulling him close. Tyler’s muscles trembled beneath his grip, shivers running through him relentlessly. “Fight it,” Josh whispered frantically to him. “God, please fight it.”

He hadn’t realised he was crying, hadn’t realised how desperate he was, before a sob wracked out of him.

When Tyler spoke again, his voice clawed out of him, real and raw for one desperate second. “ Josh ,” he rasped, terrified. “I can’t-”

And then, it was gone.

Tyler shoved him back with such force that Josh slammed into the wall, breath exploding from his lungs. Tyler just stood there, chest rising and falling in rapid bursts, but his face had gone blank again, the smile sliding back into place, a jarring visual against his tear streaked face.

“Goodnight, Josh.” He said flatly, his voice steady now as he moved to open the door again.

Josh just stared, stunned. “Tyler… what the hell was that?”

“Goodnight.” Tyler repeated. He stepped towards Josh, grabbing him by the arm, fingers strong enough to bruise, and marched him to the door with mechanical precision. Before Josh could say another word, the door slammed shut behind him. The lock clicked.

He stood on the porch, heart hammering, staring back at the quiet house. He knew now, without a doubt, that Tyler was trapped in there - somewhere behind whatever they’d done to him.

And if Josh didn’t do something soon, he might lose him forever.

-o-o-

It had been a couple of days. After the incident that night at Tyler’s house, Josh was shaken. He could see now that it was easy to set Tyler off, to tip him over the edge. He could tell that the fight was still there, but as Josh recalled the memory, something stalled him. He was scared of Tyler… the areas that he had shoved him, or grabbed his arm, had bloomed with bruises he didn’t expect, and he knew that he would have to be careful not to set him off like that again. Who knows how far it could escalate next time.

The knock at the door was sharp and panicked, rattling the frame. Josh looked up from the couch, watching as Debby exited the kitchen, drying her hands on a small dish towel.

“Jenna, what is it?” She asked when she opened the door, moving to the side to allow her in before she shut it behind her again.

“I saw something,” Jenna said after a moment, her breath rasping, like she had run over here as fast as she could. “With Tyler.”

Josh was on his feet in a second, making his way around the couch. “What do you mean? Is he- what’s wrong?”

“He was talking to me earlier.” Jenna rushed on, barely pausing for breath. “And I noticed something… behind his ear. A scar, I thought at first… but then it flashed. Like there’s something under his skin.”

Debby’s brow knit. “Flashed?”

“Yes,” Jenna’s voice was hoarse as she stepped forward, expression frantic. “I know how that sounds, but I swear I saw it.”

Josh could feel his pulse in his throat. He tried his best to recall the memories with Tyler so far. He had never noticed anything of that description. “A light?” he echoed.

Jenna nodded fiercely. “It was faint, but it was there. I can’t stop thinking about it. What if it’s… what if there’s something there, controlling him?”

Debby stepped close, her face pale. “Why would they leave something like that in him? That’s…” She faltered, glancing at Josh. “That’s not what they told us they do here… There’s nothing like this in our contracts.”

The words barely registered, but he grimly nodded. “Our contracts are set to be updated.” He reminded them, and silence washed over them, dreadful, like they were all taking the time to come to terms with the situation they now found themselves in.

Jenna was the first to speak, reaching out and grabbing Josh’s arm, startling him out of his thoughts. “If they left something in him - if it’s controlling him - we can’t just sit here and pretend it’s all fine. He’s in danger.”

Josh looked between them, his chest aching. Jenna’s words rang in his ears, the image of some faint, light pulsing beneath Tyler’s skin flashing through his mind, foreign.

Jenna still eyed him, giving a faint nod, her hands shaking. “We can’t lose him.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Josh said after a moment. “Whatever it takes.” 

Chapter Text

It was just after midnight when Josh heard it.

At first, he thought it was the wind rattling something loose, but then the sound came again - a dull, rhythmic thud echoing from the quiet street outside. Josh dragged himself out of bed and stepped to the window, heart pounding before he even looked out.

Tyler was standing in his driveway.

No, not standing. He was slamming his head against the side of Josh’s car.

Josh’s stomach flipped. “Oh my god,” he whispered, already shoving his feet into his slippers.

He bolted outside, not even bothering to grab his shirt. Tyler didn’t notice him approach, he just kept moving with a brutal, steady rhythm, forehead connecting with the metal again and again, leaving faint streaks of red, smearing and trickling down the side of his head and the car.

“Tyler!” Josh grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “What the hell are you doing? Stop!”

Tyler froze at the touch, his head hung low, breath ragged and hands flexing like he wasn’t sure how to use them anymore. From where he stood, Josh could see the small droplets of crimson falling to the concrete beneath.

“Tyler, talk to me, please ,” Josh said, voice breaking. “Tell me what’s going on. Say something .” His grip curled tighter around Tyler’s arm, yanking him, shaking slightly, desperate for any reaction. He didn’t even care if Tyler turned on him with that strength anymore, he just wanted him to do something , anything.

And for one brief, horrifying moment, Tyler looked at him.

His eyes were wide and wet, darting frantically as though he couldn’t keep them still. His lips moved, struggling around words that wouldn’t come out, and then - finally - he rasped. “Josh… I-I think, I’m hurt.”

Josh’s breath caught. “I know, Ty. I know… I’m gonna help you, I promise-”

But Tyler jolted violently, like something inside him had snapped. He staggered, clutching the side of his head. “I-I’m fine!” He blurted, voice too bright, too loud. “Sorry neighbour! Just… a bit of stress, you know how it is!”

Josh’s lips ran dry, and he stood, staring, stricken by the sudden switch. “Tyler, you’re bleeding. That’s not-”

“Don’t worry about me!” Tyler cut in with a laugh that cracked around the edges. He wiped the blood smeared on his temple like it was nothing, forcing another smile as it spread down his cheek and over his fingers. “Everything’s perfect, don’t you think?”

Josh watched the redness matting into his hair, the raw mark blooming against the side of his forehead. “Perfect?” Josh’s voice betrayed him, and he felt the tightness in his throat. “Tyler… you’re bleeding all over yourself. This isn’t perfect. Just come inside, please.”

Tyler’s grin faltered for the briefest of seconds, a tremor in the perfect facade he was clinging to. “Joshua, I’m fine.” He said, and the use of his full name sent a dreadful ache through Josh’s chest. “I just… I need to go home and sleep, and everything will be-”

“No.” Josh stepped closer, fingers gripped tighter around Tyler’s arm. “You’re not going anywhere like this. You’re hurt , and you’re scaring the hell out of me.” He pleaded, pulling him closer protectively. “Let me clean you up. Ty… let me help you, please.”

Tyler’s gaze flickered over Josh’s face, eyes wide as they darted back and forth, scanning and weighing a thousand unseen consequences that flashed through Josh’s face. He swallowed hard, that brittle, fake smile still trembling on his lips. “Well, I guess it would be the neighbourly thing to do,” He whispered, posture relaxing. “As long as it’s no burden.”

Josh sighed a breath of relief, his grip loosening ever so slightly. “You could never be a burden. Not to me,” he muttered back, tugging him towards the house. “Just… come inside, okay? Just for a minute.”

For an agonising moment, Tyler didn’t move. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, panicked. It reminded Josh of the night they had met, that night at the welcoming by the buffet table. The thought that even this Tyler, new and fake, was so similar caused a feeling of longing to well in his heart.

The fight seemed to drain out of Tyler, his shoulder slumped as he nodded, just barely, like a leaf trembling in the breeze.

They walked silently, Josh’s hand still on his arm, lighter now than it had been before. Tyler followed with the stiff, unsteady gait of someone on autopilot, blood trickling in thin lines down the side of his face. Once inside, Josh steered him to the kitchen table before he moved to grab the first aid kit from the cupboard. “Sit,” he murmured, his voice taut. “Don’t move.”

Tyler didn’t argue, slipping into one of the chairs. His hands were limp on his lap, like he had completely lost the will to do anything, or maybe he was just starting to feel the injury, adrenaline wearing off.

After Josh had taken one of the dish cloths and dampened it under the sink, he moved to crouch in front of Tyler, his hands trembling as he lifted it to the wound. “This might sting,” he warned softly, recalling the brutal strength Tyler now possessed, bracing himself for whatever might happen once the pain registered.

But Tyler just flinched when he made contact, no effort made to pull away. He closed his eyes and sat there, letting Josh gently wipe the blood from his skin, his touch careful and slow. Josh’s hand lingered at Tyler’s temple as he slowed to a stop, his thumb brushing against the warm skin of his cheek.

The touch was intimate, small, and really just a test to see if Tyler would even allow it, to see if it would trigger the same response that Josh had been getting since he had come back. But it didn’t. In fact, Tyler seemed to lean into it, lids staying shut.

The silence was comfortable, reverent. Josh continued his motions and leaned in closer, peeking, just enough to see if he could find it . When he moved his hand around the back of Tyler’s ear, his heart sank. Even in the dark glow of the kitchen, he could see it. The faintest of flashes, subtle against his skin. He swallowed, setting the damp cloth on the table before moving back to the first aid kit, rummaging for some bandages.

But that wasn’t all. Taking advantage of the fact that Tyler’s eyes were still slipped shut, he moved the small, razor blade out of the kit and onto the table, ready.

Tyler’s eyes opened slowly after a moment, watching him, gaze fixed. He looked haunted, lips parting and hesitant. “You’re… scared.” He said, the words ragged and uncertain.

Josh froze. He didn’t want to admit it, but it must have been written all over him. He swallowed against the tightness in his throat, forcing himself to meet Tyler’s eyes. “Of course,” he breathed, sheepish. “I’ve been scared since you left. And now you’re back but you’re…” His voice cracked, breaking into a small, meek whimper. “You’re not okay, Ty. You can’t keep telling me you are.”

Something flickered in Tyler’s expression, pained and full of regret. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped, clenching his jaw hard, like the words wouldn’t come. They were safeguarded, locked away in his mind, somewhere out of reach for him, against his will.

Josh moved, unable to help himself. He gently took Tyler’s hand, gripping it as if he could anchor him. “You can tell me what’s wrong,” he said, softer this time. “I’m here , Tyler. I don’t care what it is, I just… I need you to fight it.”

Tyler’s breath hitched audibly. For a second, Josh was sure he felt him squeeze back.

But then, just as quickly, Tyler wrenched his hand away, a frustrated groan leaving him. He pushed up to his feet in one sharp motion, the wood of the chair clattering behind him with the force of it.

“I can’t!” He blurted, backing away a step, stumbling. “I can’t, Josh. Please, don’t… don’t make me.”

“Ty-”

“Thank you,” Tyler cut in, voice breaking. “For… helping me. But I need to go. I can’t stay here.”

But Josh was between him and the door, and he was quick to block the way, arms raised as if he was trying to wrangle something wild.

“What’s going on?” Debby had appeared behind him in the hallway, her voice thick with sleep, but her eyes wide and alert. “Tyler…? Josh, what’s-”

“Debby,” Josh gave her a hurried whisper, glancing at her from the doorway, his look deep with warning. “I need you to go next door, and I need you to stay there until the morning, do you understand?”

She looked at him, bewildered, taking a step closer to him before he spoke again, his brow dipped and furious before he repeated himself. “Next door, Debby. Now .”

Tyler, from his spot trapped in the kitchen, let out a strangled sob, hands coming up to grip his hair. “Just let me go home, please .” 

Debby’s focus passed between the two, mind still trying to make sense of what was happening. But Josh had had enough. By any means necessary, he wasn’t letting Tyler go, not again.

“ Debby .” he called again, more firm, his voice steady with authority. “Go.”

She nodded, bolting to slip on her shoes and tripping a bit before she exited the house with a slam of the door. No matter what happened now, at least she would be safe.

And then, it was just them, Josh turning his attention back to Tyler, eyes locked and chest heaving, blocking the doorway like a wall.

“Ty,” he said, quieter now, but the tremor in his voice betrayed him. “Please, just talk to me. You’re hurting, I can see it. I can feel it. I can’t keep watching you like this,” He was rambling, his words coming out jagged, like maybe if he said enough, if he just said the right thing, Tyler would listen.

But Tyler shook his head violently, fingers twitching. “You don’t understand-”

“Then help me!” Josh’s voice cracked, desperate. He was close to breaking, hands trembling and terror running deep through them. But he knew that no matter what happened, he had to push through. “I can’t take it anymore. I’m losing my mind since they took you,” He pleaded, the stream of tears beginning before he could even think to stop them. “I’m losing you, Ty.”

Tyler’s jaw worked, like he wanted to say something, anything, but all that came out was a choked sob. He took a step back, his hands still balled in his hair, clutching either side of his head. “You can’t fix this,” He whispered, voice wracked with horror, fraying. “I’m stuck . Just let me go before I-”

“No.” The words were sharp, firm, final. Josh’s hand moved quickly, snatching the razor from the table, fumbling with it slightly before his grip tightened. Tyler had noticed, his eyes widening with panic at the glimmer of the blade.

“Josh,” he rasped, shaking his head. “What are you-”

“Do you remember?” Josh asked, taking a cautious step forward, razor raised. “Before they took you… You kissed me back.”

Tyler froze. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe, but something - something - flashed across his expression, a small, broken flicker of recognition.

And that was all Josh needed.

He took two long strides, closing the distance between them. Tyler bolted, terrified, turning to escape him, making for the back door at the other end of the kitchen. But it was locked, and all he could do was rattle it against the frame, so hard Josh thought for a second he might take it off its hinges.

But he was running . This wasn’t the fake Tyler that had shoved him before. This was the real him, slipping through in the most raw and agonising moment.

Josh grabbed him by the back of the shirt, tugging him roughly against his chest. When Tyler scrambled, clawing at the counter tops, sending the kettle and cutlery to the ground in sharp clatters, he began to whimper, his eyes soaked and spilling. “Josh - stop ! Please-”

“I’m sorry, Ty,” Josh whispered back furiously, tears streaking down his face. “I’m so sorry! I know you would do this for me.”

He forced his head down onto the cold, hard work space, body flush against his back as Tyler squirmed, wriggling, desperate to slip away from him. When Josh lined up the blade, Tyler’s hands scraped, at the counter, at Josh’s hands, the force of the struggle so intense it almost threw Josh off balance.

But he persisted, one hand holding Tyler’s head down, the other jittery, shaking as he stalled with the blade. Tyler’s eyes searched for him, his head turned to the side, gaze frantic and tears pooling over the perfect curve of his nose.

Then, the knife bit into skin.

Tyler’s cries broke into something stronger, a guttural and terrified scream as he bucked against him, his fingers still desperate, scratching and prying at Josh’s hold, the blade, anything he could reach. But he couldn’t stop it.

Blood slicked Josh’s grip, the wetness from his own eyes blurring his vision, but he continued, chanting again and again how sorry he was, how it would be okay, how he was going to take care of him.

He dug, desperate and frantic, until the metal scraped against something unnatural beneath the surface. Josh’s breath hitched as he felt it - the cold edge of the implant. “Almost there,” he whispered, half to himself. But Tyler was still screaming, and he knew the pain must have been unbearable for him. “Hold on, Ty . Just hold on!”

With his teeth clenched and his hands aching from the pressure of holding Tyler down, Josh pried the blade's tip beneath the edge of the implant. Tyler let out another strangled cry, jerking again, but his strength was faltering the more his blood pooled on the counter, soaking the front of his shirt.

“ Please ,” Josh cried, his sobs relentless and broken, his resolve wavering the more he felt Tyler's fight leave him. “Please, just a second longer-”

The implant gave a faint crack, the blade piercing it. Josh froze, sucking in his breath. Then, he braced himself and wrenched the blade up. It was stuck, its grip firm under Tyler’s skin, but Josh yanked again, watching it come loose, sinew and loose flesh clinging to it like Tyler’s body didn’t want to let it go.

The tiny, black metal pill came free, Tyler’s blood splattering onto Josh’s face with the force of it, before he threw it and the blade to the ground, watching as they clattered onto the floor with a metallic ping that echoed in the kitchen.

And then, Tyler went completely limp beneath him.

“Tyler? Tyler !” He was quick, wrapping both arms around him. But the dead weight was too much for the exhaustion after what he had just done. He crumpled onto the soaked floor with him, gathering Tyler into his arms, wrapping them tightly around him and pulling him to his chest. “No, no, no - come on, Ty. Breathe !”

Tyler’s head lolled against him, blood seeping through his shirt, smearing Josh’s chest. His skin - God , he was so cold. Josh pressed his slicked and trembling fingers to his throat and found a pulse, weak, but there. Relief tore through him so hard he sobbed, clutching Tyler’s body closer.

“It’s out,” Josh whispered, voice shredded. He brushed a stained hand over Tyler’s hair, holding him like he could keep him from slipping away. “You’re free now… I promise , you’re free.”

There was no answer, just the shallow, uneven breaths against his chest.

Josh’s eyes fell to the implant lying on the floor. Even in the dim light, it gleamed mockingly, a tiny thing for all the destruction it had caused. He reached for it with a shaking hand, scooping it up before he tucked it into his pocket. Then, he tightened his hold on Tyler, leaning to press their foreheads together.

“I’ve got you,” Josh murmured, his tears mixing with the crimson stains on Tyler’s cheeks while he rocked him gently, as though it would somehow help. “I’m not letting you go again. Ever.”

Tyler’s lashes fluttered faintly at the words, the smallest flicker of life returning to his expression, but he didn’t wake.

Josh just sat there, praying and hoping that when he did open his eyes, it would be his Tyler again.

-o-o-

Josh sat at the edge of the bed, his breath catching every time Tyler twitched in his sleep. He’d already cleaned the blood off the side of his head, at least as much as he could, without reopening the wound. He had wrapped it in layers of gauze, but even that felt altogether too inadequate. But at least Tyler was clean, laying in his bed, shirt fresh but skin clammy, his face pale against the pillow.

Josh’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking. They trembled as he adjusted the blanket over Tyler, pausing to brush the damp hair back from his forehead before he leaned forward, checking to make sure he was still breathing for what seemed like the hundredth time.

You did this to him .

The thought roared in his mind, leaving a hollow ache in his chest. He looked down at his hands, still faintly stained red even after scrubbing, and the weight of what he’d done pressed harder. He’d hurt him. He’d pinned him down, ignored his begging, forced the blade into his skin while he screamed.

Josh’s throat constricted, and he leaned forward, gripping the edge of the mattress until his knuckles went white.

But what choice did you have?

He’d seen the cracks, the flashes of the real Tyler breaking through the veneer. He’d seen him bleeding in the driveway, slamming his head against his car like some kind of maniac. If Josh hadn’t done something…

What if you did too much?

His chest burned as the thought slipped through, unfiltered. What if all that hadn’t been the implant? What if Tyler was just broken and Josh had made it worse?

He glanced at the small metal pill sitting on the nightstand, its cracked surface still catching the lamplight with a mock gleam. Proof. He had pulled it from Tyler’s body, and yet the sight of it gave him no comfort. If anything, it made the guilt sit heavier.

Josh reached out, brushing his fingers gently across Tyler’s temple, avoiding the dressing, He looked peaceful now, the stillness almost unnerving.

“You’re okay,” Josh whispered hoarsely. “You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you.”

But the words cracked in the quiet. Josh lowered his head into his hands, shoulders trembling as the full weight of the night bore down on him. He’d crossed a line he could never come back from, and now all he could do was sit in the silence and hope Tyler would wake up, hope he'd still recognize him when he did.

Because the one thing Josh couldn’t shake, the thing that clawed at the back of his mind, was the image of Tyler while he was held down. He hadn’t been afraid of the pain.

He’d been afraid of Josh .

Tyler shifted, a soft exhale slipping from his lips, and Josh’s entire body tensed. He leaned forward immediately, hand hovering over Tyler’s shoulder, but Tyler just stilled again, his chest rising and falling in a shallow, steady rhythm.

Josh released the breath he had been holding. His entire body felt heavy, leaden with exhaustion, every muscle screaming from the hours of adrenaline and fear. He’d cleaned Tyler up, changed his shirt, bandaged his wounds, and now he didn’t know what else to do except stay.

He climbed onto the bed carefully, almost guiltily, lowering himself down on top of the blanket beside Tyler. He didn’t dare slip under it; this wasn’t about comfort. This was about proximity, about knowing Tyler was there next to him.

Josh turned onto his side, facing him. The faint light of the streetlamps spilled across Tyler’s face, pale and quiet, and Josh reached out, just enough that the tips of his fingers brushed the back of Tyler's hand. Just a reminder, to anchor himself there.

His throat tightened as the words escaped him in a small, hoarse whisper. “I’m sorry, Ty. I’m so sorry…”

There was no answer. Of course, there wouldn’t be.

Josh’s eyes burned, and he tried to stay awake, tried to watch him through the bloom of exhaustion, but his body betrayed him. His head dipped heavier, pressing into the pillow near Tyler’s shoulder, and slowly his breathing evened out.

The warmth of Tyler’s presence beside him was the only thing grounding, sleep finally claiming him after what seemed like weeks of torture, his fingers still lightly touching Tyler’s, as if afraid to let go. 

Chapter Text

Tyler surfaced slowly, like a weight had been pressing him down for hours. His body ached in a dozen places, but it was the sharp throb behind his ear that forced his eyes open.

He blinked hard, disoriented. The room was dim and unfamiliar, the air too warm, too quiet. For a moment, panic clawed up his throat, until his gaze fell to the figure lying beside him. 

Josh. 

He was asleep, half-curled on top of the blanket, his face soft in a way Tyler didn’t recognise. The sight hit him with a strange mixture of relief and fear, his chest constricting until he could barely draw a breath. 

Memories crashed into him all at once. The officials dragging him from his house, the sterile white rooms of the wellness center, forced therapy sessions that hadn’t worked, and eventually, the suggestion of experimental treatment. Then, the endless, suffocating days of silence inside his own body, watching himself speak words he hadn’t chosen, smile when he hadn’t wanted to. Tyler had desperately tried to fight it, battling against every forced instinct, even hurting himself. The one who had given him the will strong enough to crack through, was…

Josh. 

Tyler swallowed hard, his mouth dry as he remembered the glint of the knife, the burn of it tearing through his skin. He remembered the hands pinning him down, Josh’s voice breaking as he begged Tyler to stay with him. 

His stomach turned violently. 

He pushed himself up on one elbow, flinching at the sound of the bedsprings. Josh stirred slightly, a faint crease in his brow, but he didn’t wake. Tyler froze, unable to move, barely able to breathe. 

It was all there now - the feelings, the thoughts, everything he hadn’t been allowed to act on. And yet, staring down at Josh, the memory of his desperation, the fear in his eyes… Tyler felt something unfamiliar churn in his chest. 

He was scared. Scared of Josh. 

Tyler’s chest tightened painfully, the kind of ache that made him want to curl in on himself. He hadn’t wanted to be afraid of him, not Josh, but the image of that razor wouldn’t leave his mind. He pressed a hand against the gauze behind his ear, shuddering at the tenderness beneath it. 

Josh murmured in his sleep, shifting closer without meaning to. Tyler went completely still, heart hammering, afraid that even breathing too loud might wake him. But Josh settled again and Tyler relaxed back into the pillow, turning his head to stare at the ceiling. His eyes burned. 

He was free now, but the weight of everything - the control, the helplessness, the attack - sat heavy on his chest. He wasn’t even sure of how he was supposed to face Josh when he woke. 

And unfortunately, he didn’t have much time to prepare. Beside him, the mattress creaked softly, and Josh stirred again. He heard the sound of a hand brushing over bedsheets. Then Josh’s voice, groggy and sleep heavy. “Tyler…?”

His stomach clenched. He meant to answer, meant to offer something - a greeting, an apology, anything to make this feel normal. But the words stuck to the roof of his mouth. 

Instead, he kept staring at the ceiling, focused on a crack in the plaster, small and harmless. A fixed point he could look at without thinking too much. 

“I…” Josh started before faltering. “How are you feeling?” 

Tyler’s fingers curled instinctively. The voice was soft, but the question… that felt like too much. Too intimate. Like being asked to confess things he didn’t have the words for. Not yet. 

Josh leaned over, and before he could even try to stop himself, Tyler flinched away from him. It was subtle, just a small shift of his shoulder, a twitch in his jaw, but Josh had noticed. He froze. 

“I-I didn’t mean… you don’t have to answer,” Josh said quickly. 

Tyler turned to look at him. But that in itself was a mistake. 

Josh’s eyes were soft and wrecked, still red from crying, still rimmed with guilt. He looked fragile in the daylight - messy hair, crumpled clothes and a raw ache seeping through him now that he had learnt not to hide. 

Tyler wanted desperately to say something to make him feel better, to quell that look of concern that etched its way deep into Josh’s face. But instead, he lied. “Don’t worry. I’m not afraid of you.”

Josh smiled at that. Not because he believed him. But because he didn’t know what else to do. “O-Okay.”

The single, small word made Tyler’s stomach twist. He could still feel it. The moment Josh had pinned him down. The searing agony. The pressure of hands holding him still. Not malicious, not cruel. But desperate. And desperate people were dangerous. 

And yet - he was still here. Alive and breathing. Free. He had to remind himself that Josh had done that. For him. 

Tyler wanted to thank him. He wanted to touch him, to tell him ‘you saved me’. But his hands wouldn’t move. His mouth stayed shut. The fear was lodged deep, somewhere his mind couldn’t reach. 

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Josh said softly. The words struck harder than Tyler expected. But still, no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t say anything. He sat, still as stone, praying his silence didn’t say too much. 

Josh rose from the bed slowly, gently, like he was backing away from wounded prey. But Tyler hated it, hated the pity and most of all, hated how much he needed it. 

“I’ll go downstairs,” Josh said, his feet tucking into his slippers. “Give you some space.” 

Tyler said nothing. He just watched as Josh stepped into the hall. When the door clicked shut behind him, Tyler finally exhaled as he listened to the sound of him retreating.

He dragged a shaking hand through his hair and stared at the ceiling. 

Josh had been kind. Careful. Gentle. And still, Tyler had flinched. 

He looked over at the small indent Josh had left beside him on the blanket. Still warm, still real. Curling onto his side, Tyler pulled the pillow Josh had been using closer, breathing in the scent of him. 

He swallowed hard. Every breath felt like a test - like he had to remember how to be a person again. The house around him creaked faintly, wood settling. He sat so long that the light from the window changed, the sun adjusting with the time that continued to pass, regardless of what he wanted. 

And yet, he still wasn’t sure how to exist. 

He remembered it all. That was the worst part. There was no fog, no dream-like bloom to hide behind. He remembered the sterilised room. He remembered the nurse smiling too tightly. And worst of all, he remembered the cold, clinical sting behind his ear. 

He hadn’t known - hadn’t understood what it would do to him. 

They had done a lot to convince him. He thought it would help him fit in. Thought it might make things easier, for everyone. And it did, at first. Then the silence crept in. Not just in his thoughts, but everywhere. A silence that didn’t come from peace, but from absence. 

His voice had stopped mattering. His wants had stopped forming. And soon, he was just watching himself go through the motions. Like someone else was steering the wheel on his body. He remembered looking in the mirror and not recognising his own eyes. He remembered wanting to scream, and nothing coming out. 

Most importantly, he had reminded himself, from the prison in his own head, of the kiss. The flash of something real. And whenever he had, it seemed to give him the strength to fight. 

The memory was buried in there, sharp and glimmering like a shard of something precious between the wreckage. A single, wild spark in the quiet vacuum of his controlled mind. The moment Josh had touched him, like he mattered. It was the only thing that had kept him sane for weeks. 

And now, it was back. The warmth. The pain. The choice. All of it pressing in at once, suffocating in its fullness. And Josh had been the one to give it back to him. 

And that terrified him. 

Tyler brought a hand up to his neck, fingertips brushing the tender bandage behind his ear. He’d woken up with blood on his shoulder and a horrifying clarity in his mind. And Josh - his Josh - leaning over to check on him, hands shaking, eyes full of terror and care and desperation all at once. 

It hadn’t felt like saving. Not at the time. It felt like being ripped open. 

But now… now he wasn’t sure what to call it. 

He didn’t blame Josh. He couldn’t. Josh had done what Tyler couldn’t do himself. And yet… the fear was there. Crawling under his skin. Twitching in his bones. 

You’re not safe anywhere, the old familiar voice in his mind hissed like it usually did when he was doubting himself. Not even with him.

Tyler hated it. Because Josh had held him. Josh had cried for him. Josh had begged him to fight. And Tyler had. He really had. 

He just didn’t know who he was now, on the other side of it. 

-o-o-

He hadn’t meant to, but somewhere between the thoughts reeling through his head, Tyler had fallen asleep. When he woke, the sun hung low in the sky, orange and pink streams painted across the bedroom floor. His eyes caught a fresh glass of water on the night stand, left there for him, and he took it, gulping down to quell his aching lips. 

The house was too quiet. Tyler’s skin itched as he set the glass back down. The room was warm, but he shivered anyway, arms wrapping tightly around himself as if they could keep him from falling apart again. 

He needed air. Or space. Or anything that wasn’t the oppressive weight of his own thoughts. 

He pushed himself to stand, knees stiff and trembling like they’d forgotten how to hold him. His limbs were too long, too thin, as if his body still hadn’t fully returned to him. As if the implant had taken far more than his control. 

Barefoot, careful not to make a sound, he crept toward the door. The hallway was dim. He paused on the threshold, listening. No voices, no footsteps. He took one tentative step out, then another, the wood creaking faintly beneath him. 

But before he could reach the stairs, a shadow moved from below, leaving the kitchen and entering his line of sight. 

Josh. 

He was halfway up the stairs before he noticed Tyler, a white mug in one hand and a plated sandwich in the other. When they met, Josh’s eyes widened slightly - not with fear, not with anger - but concern. 

Tyler’s breath caught. 

“Hey,” Josh said quietly, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to speak yet. “Was just coming to check on you.”

Tyler tried to answer, but his mouth was dry and his throat felt tight. He took a small step back before he could stop himself. 

Josh noticed. Of course he did. His expression flickered with a quick sting of hurt he wasn’t able to mask. “Sorry.” He said, gentler this time. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” 

“You didn’t,” Tyler was quick to reply with a small shake of his head, his voice hoarse. “I just… I needed to move.” 

“I get it,” Josh said after a moment. “You’ve been through hell.” 

Tyler’s mouth twitched, a laugh trying and failing to escape. “Feels more like I’ve been rebooted.” He tried to joke, his attempt to lighten the mood weak. 

Josh didn’t smile. Not really, but he appeared to ease a little, the nervous edge dissipating gradually. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Tyler hesitated, and the pause was enough to make the moment stretch. His instinct was to lie, to say he was fine, that he was just getting used to being in charge of himself again. 

But Josh had already seen him bleed. Had already seen him scream. There wasn’t much left to hide. 

Slowly, Tyler moved to sit at the top of the stairs. When Josh noticed, he moved up, placing the mug and sandwich down beside him in silent offering before sitting a few steps down, giving him space.

“I remember everything,” Tyler said finally, voice small. “I just… couldn’t move. Not the way I wanted to.” The explanation was awkward, off balance as it landed between them.

Josh listened, jaw flexing. After a moment, Tyler took the mug from where Josh had placed it. Warmth seeped into his palms, real and comforting. Looking back to his neighbour, he hesitated. “I’m trying. He whispered. “To feel like myself again.” 

“You don’t have to do it alone.” Josh said, his voice eager but quiet, like the floor might give way beneath them if he spoke too loudly. 

But the statement had surprised Tyler. Even after everything, Josh was still here. Even after the anger, even after the betrayal, after seeing Tyler change that way. He was still here. Josh’s actions the night previous had felt like they were rooted in a sense of guilt he was trying to quell within himself. But hearing him now, food prepped, taking care of Tyler, cleaning him, setting him to bed. Tyler could see it was rooted in a different motivation. 

“You still want me here?” Tyler asked after a beat, quiet and raw. 

Josh didn’t hesitate. “Yes.” 

Tyler didn’t move. But his grip on the mug tightened, and his shoulders relaxed by the smallest fraction. The silence was settling between them again, but it wasn’t heavy this time. It felt like space; a small, safe pocket of air where Tyler could breathe. Eventually, he sipped the tea slowly, hands cupped around the cup. 

From his spot a few steps below, Josh sat quietly, one elbow propped on his knee, watching the banister intently as though it would speak to him.Tyler studied him for a long beat. He noticed how tight his jaw was again. How his fingers twitched like he was growing restless from all that was left unsaid.

Tyler set the mug down gently on the stair beside him. “Josh.” he called. 

The expression that met him was alert, concerned. “Yeah?” 

Tyler didn’t speak right away. He pressed his lips together, debating whether to bring it up - whether now was the right time. Whether there would ever be a right time. 

“Before everything,” he said finally. “Before I left. We kissed.” 

Josh’s shoulders stilled. His whole body did, actually, like the memory hit him hard in the chest. But Tyler shifted, focusing on his expression, a mix of regret and longing that painted Josh’s face. “I remembered it.” he continued. “You leaned in, and I didn’t stop you. I didn’t want to stop you. But then, when they took me…”

Tyler's breath caught, and he swore he saw Josh twitch, wanting to move closer but stopping himself. “After that, I couldn’t… I couldn’t feel anything the same way… it got buried. I tried to hold on to it. I really did.”

He let the tears fall, real and unguarded this time, with no fear of the feeling slipping away a second later. Josh finally moved, slipping up a step. There was still space, but now he could reach for Tyler’s hand, which he did without hesitation. Their fingers interlocked instantly. 

Josh’s voice was careful when he finally spoke. “I’m sorry Ty… You have to believe me, I didn’t know what they would do.” 

“I-I don’t blame you,” Tyler said, his words broken around the edges, Josh’s hand squeezing instinctively around him. 

Again they said nothing, the atmosphere heavy, but charged with something new - something aching and real with acknowledgement. They had finally admitted things they hadn’t been allowed to before. 

“I thought maybe I imagined the whole thing,” Tyler whispered as the minutes of silence stretched. “That the kiss didn’t mean anything. That I made it bigger in my head than it was.” 

“You didn’t.” Josh was quick again, his lip twitching in sympathy. “It meant something. It meant everything, Ty.” 

Tyler’s heart swelled. For a brief flash, it made him feel giddy, his lip tugging no matter how hard he tried to hide it. With a breath, he composed himself. “I feel a bit stuck… after that moment,” he admitted, stalling when he felt Josh’s thumb begin to brush soothingly over his knuckles. He tried to not let it distract him too much. “Like it happened before I could figure out what it was.” 

Josh’s voice was steadier now, lower. “We can figure it out...” He paused, his fingers twitching. “If you still want.” 

Did Tyler want to? He thought it over. After everything that had happened, after the betrayal on both sides, the attack that was really a desperate attempt to save, after everything they had been through, was it still worth it? Would he still be able to try? 

“But… I’m not the same. I feel like I’m made of broken pieces. And you-” Tyler focused his gaze on their hands, still locked. “You had to cut me open to get me back.”

“There’s a lot I regret, Tyler.” Josh began, and he was moving up again, slipping up another step so he was just below him now. “There’s a lot of moments I would take back, I swear… but last night - saving you -  isn’t one of them.”

Tyler swallowed the sharpness forming in his throat. It ached, not like his wound or any of his injuries. But like a weight had been lifted. Like being seen, finally, after so long. 

Josh’s focus was steady on him, open and earnest, almost pleading - but not pushing. Just waiting. Waiting for Tyler to be ready. 

“I know,” Tyler whispered. “You did what you had to. I know that.”

His voice wavered, but he didn’t look away. He held on, fingers curling tighter around Josh’s hand. “But it still hurts,” he said, barely audible, voice cracking as he fell into a fresh set of tears. “It hurts that I couldn’t stop it. That you had to be the one to save me. And that even now, I don’t know how to stop flinching when you’re near me.”

Josh’s expression cracked just slightly, breaking through the center of his certainty. But he didn’t pull away. His hand stayed warm in Tyler’s, steady and grounding. 

“You can,” Josh voiced, small and hoarse. “You can flinch. You can pull away. You can scream at me, take all the space you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

Tyler blinked against the welling in his eyes, threatening to spill again. After everything, what had he done to deserve this? To deserve Josh?

Josh continued. “I didn’t do it so you’d forgive me. I didn’t do it hoping we’d pick up right where we left off.” His mouth twisted, frowning deeper. “I did it because I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t stand watching you become someone you weren’t. Not after everything you taught me. Not after everything we spoke about.”

Tyler felt a break within him, not sharp this time, but warm. A slow collapse of a wall he didn’t know he’d been hiding behind. His shoulders sagged, and his breath left him in a long, shuddering sigh. 

And without thinking, without deciding - Tyler slipped down one step and leaned forward, closing the space between them. 

It wasn’t a kiss. It was a weightless press of his forehead against Josh’s, the space between them barely a breath, but it carried everything he couldn’t say. His apology, his acceptance of Josh’s. His thanks. His hope. 

Josh didn’t move at first, didn’t even inhale too sharply, like he was afraid to break the moment. His hand slid up gently, resting against Tyler’s back, barely there. 

“I want to try,” Tyler said after they stayed like that for a moment, his eyes slipping shut. “But I’m going to need some time.” 

Josh nodded, eyes glistening, his smile soft and fragile. “I’ve got time.”

They pulled back, hands still locked, sitting side by side now. And for the first time in what felt like weeks, Tyler believed he might actually make it through, and with Josh beside him - not holding him together, but guarding the space for him while Tyler learned to hold himself again. 

-o-o-

After some food (Josh had made pancakes, at Tyler’s request) they sat in the living room, the television running in the background, playing some comedy sitcom neither of them were really listening to. It was just vague noise to fill the space while Tyler took the time he needed to get comfortable again. 

There was a knock on the door - sharp, rapid and then another right after, more urgent. 

Josh flinched, rising up to answer. When he pulled the door open, he was almost knocked off his feet, Jenna brushing past him in a whirl of panic, her gaze finding Tyler and locking on him. 

“Oh my god, Tyler.” she gasped. Tyler stood, but before he could do much else, she surged forward and wrapped her arms around him in a crushing hug. It was sudden, overwhelming, but not bad. Just… intense. Like being thrown into water without much time to prepare. 

“I thought you were gone.” Jenna said into his shoulder, voice thick and muffled with tears. “I thought - I didn’t know what happened. No one would tell me anything after they took you.”

He stood stiff for a second longer before his arms slowly came up to hug her back. “I’m sorry…” he said quietly. “for making you worry.”  

Jenna pulled back enough to look at him, her hands moving to his face, thumbs brushing over his cheeks. Her eyes scanned every inch of him, from the injury on his forehead, now raw and bruised, to the gauze around his ear. “Are you okay? Are you - what happened to your head?” Her fingers hovered at his temple, careful not to hurt him further. 

Tyler swallowed. “It’s… a long story.” 

Behind Jenna, Josh had moved forward, his presence quiet, but grounding. Jenna looked over her shoulder and blinked. “And… did you…?” 

Josh just gave a small nod. “He’s safe now.” 

She stared for a beat before looking back to Tyler. “And you’re really you?” 

Tyler smiled, tired, but honest. “Yeah. I’m me.” 

Jenna made a small, broken sound and hugged him again, this time gentler, like she was afraid she might break him if she pulled him too tight. “I was so scared, Ty.” She murmured against him. “This place… something is wrong here. How could they do that to you…?”

Tyler just held her tighter, his hand running over her blonde hair, doing anything he could to soothe her. But her sentiment rang deep in him, filling him with unease. 

Over her shoulder, he focused on Josh, who stood nearby, not daring to intrude, but there if they needed him. 

When Jenna leaned back again, she raised a hand to wipe a stray tear from her cheek, before moving to interlock her fingers with Tyler's. “I want to know everything. I need to understand, Ty… But not if it’s too much. Not if it hurts.” 

“I’ll tell you,” Tyler said, guiding her to the couch now. She sat with a heavy sigh, and Josh disappeared, returning a moment later with some water for her. “But I’m warning you, Jen… you’re not going to want to stay here after it.” 

She sipped gratefully from the glass, muttering a thank you to Josh, before her attention was back on Tyler. “It’s okay, I’m ready.” 

Tyler’s chest loosened, a slow breath spilling out before he pushed on, telling her everything. The tight, aching coil inside him eased the more he spoke, just enough for warmth to slip through. Because Jenna was here. She was in front of him with that fierce, unwavering look that had always made him feel safe, and the comfort that brought was enough for his eyes to well with happiness. 

Chapter Text

Josh had gotten used to the sound of Tyler sharing the house with him. It was slow at first, the soft pad of socks on the hardwood, the occasional clink of a mug in the kitchen. Now, a few days on, it almost sounded normal.

He kept telling himself it was a good thing. Tyler was healing while they shared the space together. They were talking, nothing very deep, but still. But every now and then, Josh caught him staring off, eyes unfocused, as if he couldn’t quite shake what had happened to him. Josh couldn’t blame him, of course. He had been through a lot, and with the feeling of guilt still raw in his chest, Josh at least owed him the time to get better.

Breakfast had become their routine. Jenna and Debby would come over most mornings, the four of them lingering around the kitchen table, pretending that they had all the time in the world. Sometimes they laughed, but on other occasions, the air hummed with words none of them were ready to say.

There were other changes too. Subtle ones that Josh didn’t like.

The grocery stores were getting less stock, shelves running empty on many days. There had also been patrols, the official Mulberry Co. cars that had passed around the town only once in the mornings now made at least three trips a day, their headlights sweeping over windows like they were taking count.

Josh hadn’t said anything to the others yet. Maybe it was nothing. But as he leaned in the kitchen doorway that morning, watching Tyler rinse out a mug with slow, careful movements, he felt the unease coil in his chest again. The initiative might not have noticed the change with Tyler yet, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still watching.

“You’ve been quiet today,” Josh said, keeping his tone easy. He had grown accustomed to trying to keep the mood light, regardless of how he felt. An old habit.

Tyler didn’t acknowledge him right away. The faucet hissed, water splattering over the porcelain. “Just cleaning up.”

Josh pushed away from the doorframe, moving in a few steps. “That’s what you always say.”

The mug clinked softly against the sink as Tyler set it down, his shoulders tight. “Cleaning is just… something I do.”

Josh stopped a couple of feet behind him, close enough to see the faint tremor in his hands before Tyler grabbed a dish towel. “You’re not sleeping much, are you?”

Tyler, without turning, gave a short shrug before moving to twist the water off. “Sleep’s… fine.”

It was a lie. They both knew that. Tyler hadn’t been comfortable enough to share a room with him yet, but on most nights, Josh could hear him pacing around upstairs from his own sleeping spot on the couch below.

He stepped closer, wanting to bridge the space, but Tyler’s spine seemed to stiffen before he’d even made the move. The reaction was small, but it froze him mid-step.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Ty.” Josh said quietly. A small reminder that he had to repeat most days.

Tyler’s shoulders sank at the comment, but he kept his gaze fixed on the sink. “I know . I do.” His voice had that too-quick, too-rehearsed cadence. “It’s just… I can’t help it. Not yet.”

Josh let out a slow breath, shifting his weight so his hip rested against the counter instead of stepping closer like every instinct told him to. “It’s okay,” He said gently. “Just…  tell me what you need.” His voice stayed steady, though there was a softness running under it he couldn’t hide. He didn’t doubt Tyler felt the same, he wasn’t afraid of that, but there was still distance between them they had to navigate. “What do you think would help?”

Tyler finally met his eyes, exhaustion written and plain across his face. “I just… need to feel like myself again. Something still feels… off .” His body tensed and his gaze dropped, weighed down with guilt. Admitting it felt like failure. “And I can’t stay cooped up in here. It’s… too much.”

“Okay, then we’ll change that.” Josh nodded, stepping forward now that Tyler was facing him. There was no flinch this time, no pulling away, and he reached out, laying a hand on Tyler’s shoulder.

“What if we start small?” He asked, his voice soft with reassurance. “Not a big thing, nowhere crowded. Just… a walk. Couple of streets over. We can be back in five minutes if you want.”

Tyler’s brow pulled tight, a flicker of fear breaking through his tired expression. “You really think that’ll fix it?”

“Not completely,” Josh admitted, giving a small shake of his head. “But maybe it’ll help you remember what it feels like to be in charge again.”

Tyler shifted on his feet, twisting the small dish towel in his hands before setting it aside. “...And you’d come with me?”

Josh’s lip twitched, but he kept his voice even, careful not to make the moment heavier than Tyler could handle, regardless of how it made his chest swell. Celebrating the question might scare him off. “Only if you want me to.”

The pause that followed wasn’t sharp this time. Tyler nodded slowly, as if agreeing to something far bigger than a simple walk outside.

“I want to, but… I can’t exactly go out like this.” He murmured after a moment, gesturing up to the gauze still guarding the wound behind his ear.

Josh hesitated, eyes glancing to the kitchen table where his hat still sat from his morning run. He crossed the room and picked it up, brushing a bit of lint from the brim with his thumb.

When he stepped back toward Tyler, there was no rush in his movements. He stopped just in front of him and without a word, placed the hat gently on Tyler’s head, adjusting it so it sat right, covering the wounds and any tell-tale signs of what had happened.

His fingers lingered longer than necessary, tucking a stray strand of hair away from Tyler’s eyes. The touch was light, careful. He was afraid to push too far, but couldn’t help wanting the connection anyway. 

“You wear it better than I do,” Josh murmured, his voice almost lost between them, though the meaning was heavier than the words he breathed.

Tyler froze under the weight of his touch, and for a brief moment, Josh thought he might pull away. Eventually, he settled. The brim of the hat dipped low, casting a soft shadow over his eyes, but it didn’t hide the warmth creeping up his neck.

Tyler swallowed, unable to help his faint smile. “Guess that makes it mine now.”

With his mouth quivered into the smallest grin, Josh’s eyes stayed on him for a second longer, taking in the image of him, quiet and flustered. “Of course, whatever you want.”

-o-o-

The late afternoon sun was warm without being heavy, streaks of gold catching in the leaves as they drifted along the quiet street. Josh kept a careful half step behind, glancing at Tyler only when he knew he wasn’t looking. 

Tyler’s steps were small and cautious, like he was expecting the air outside to feel different somehow. But as they passed the trimmed hedges and cracked sidewalks, the nerves in him began to ease. He slowed, tilting his head, and drew in a deep breath, letting the late summer scent hit him like half-forgotten comfort. Tyler closed his eyes for a moment and let it settle in his lungs, warm and soft; a reminder that the world wasn’t all sterilised hallways and locked doors.

Josh noticed, a faint smile ghosting over his lips before he looked away. He had told himself the walk was about fresh air, about feeling like themselves again, not an opportunity to stare at Tyler.

But watching him now, just a few inches away, collar pulled up and his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets, Josh knew he’d been lying to himself. He too had been restless all morning, pacing the kitchen, glancing out the window for no reason, every thought orbiting the same stubborn planet; Tyler.

The summer glow was picturesque as it caught the small visible tuft of Tyler’s hair. He seemed… lighter already, though his gait was still careful, his eyes scanning each street they crossed like he expected trouble to come out of nowhere. But Josh stayed behind him, resisting the urge to match his stride exactly. He didn’t want to crowd him.

They reached a small park a few blocks away, one of those neat little rectangles of grass and benches the Initiative probably kept polished for show. There were only a few people scattered about - a man walking his dog, a woman pushing a stroller - but even that seemed to make Tyler tense.

Josh spotted a bench tucked away beneath an oak, partly shielded from the main path by a hedge. “C’mon, let’s sit.” he said quietly, nodding towards it.

Tyler hesitated, then followed him over. They sat with a little too much space between them at first, the kind of deliberate gap that felt loud in its own way. Josh’s hands rested loosely on his knees, his fingers twitching with the urge to bridge the space.

It was different behind the closed door of his home. They had privacy there, and while Tyler hadn’t been comfortable enough for much else, they had both gotten used to the feeling of their fingers interlocked when they were together, a silent connection that remained open even if they weren’t ready for what came next.

He wasn’t sure who broke first, but somehow their hands found each other in the narrow slice of shadow between them.

It wasn’t much, just the barest touch of fingers, but it sent a low current through Josh’s chest. Tyler’s grip was hesitant at first, like he was testing the waters out here, but he didn’t pull away.

The quiet was comfortable. Somewhere nearby, a dog barked. A breeze drifted through, carrying the crisp earthy scent of freshly cut grass. Josh noticed Tyler ease a fraction, and when he glanced sideways, he saw him take another breath through his nose, eyes half-lidded like he was memorising the smell.

Josh didn’t speak. He just sat there, letting Tyler breathe.

Then, footsteps crunched over the gravel behind them, and Josh’s head turned instinctively. A man in a heavy coat passed by on the other side of the hedge, his gaze sweeping lazily over the park. Tyler’s reaction was instant. His hand slipped from Josh’s like the touch burned, and his body angled away, posture sharpening.

But the man kept walking, not even glancing between them.

Tyler exhaled slowly, his breath shaky before he gave a sideways look. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, embarrassed. “I’m afraid if someone sees…”

“Don’t apologise,” Josh soothed, his posture as relaxed as ever. “We both know what would happen if they did.”

But Tyler looked unsatisfied with that, like he wanted to scoot closer, like he wanted to reach for Josh and pull him in. Instead, he gave a half defeated nod, a small hum of agreement leaving him.

Their excursion had been short, but it had been enough. Regardless of what they hadn’t been allowed to do in public, the walk still seemed to have lifted a weight from Tyler’s chest. They rose to leave again, the park slipping away behind them. Josh kept his hands in his jacket pocket this time, though he could still feel the phantom imprint of Tyler’s fingers from earlier.

They walked for a block without speaking. Just the soft sounds of footsteps against the sidewalk.

Josh broke the silence first, his voice low so it wouldn’t carry to anyone passing. “Sometimes this place feels smaller than it used to.”

Tyler gave a quiet huff, almost a laugh but not quite. There was no humour in it. “I don’t know about you but… I’ve been feeling that way for a while.”

Josh looked over at him, for longer this time. It wasn’t a surprise. Even before Tyler had been taken, he’d voiced quiet frustrations with this place. Josh remembered their conversations well.

Tyler’s tone stayed casual, but his hands shifted in his pockets, fidgeting like they had nowhere to land. “It didn’t seem so bad at first… But now…”

His reply caught in his throat before it ever formed. They rounded onto a narrower street, where the trees leaned in over the pavement and the air seemed thicker. A couple came toward them, fingers laced, smiles fixed in place like they’d been rehearsed.

When they passed, Tyler’s voice dropped low, almost swallowed by the quiet. “Ever wonder what would happen if we applied to leave?”

Josh felt his stomach knot. He’d thought about it every day since Tyler and him had begun to grow close, but speaking it out loud felt dangerous. Still, he let the question hang in the air for a beat before the truth slipped out. “More than anything.”

Tyler’s eyes landed on him, a spark shining behind his expression, a subtle recognition. 

Josh continued, feeling braver now, not breaking their gaze this time. “Maybe… we could see what that would be like… Just the two of us.”

Tyler's steps slowed, though he didn’t stop. He studied Josh for a beat, eyes lit up with a gleam dangerously close to excitement. Then, his attention returned to the sidewalk. “You mean like… leave? With you?”

Josh felt his pulse quicken at hearing the words out loud. There was no misinterpreting Tyler’s meaning or his tone. It was teasing .

“I mean…” Josh let the words hang, scanning around instinctively. No one was close enough to overhear, but he still lowered his voice to a whisper. “Yeah. we’d need Jenna and Debby on board, but after everything that’s happened… Ty, I think it might be for the best.” He chewed his lip as they turned the corner onto their cul-de-sac. “It’s not safe here anymore.”

Tyler nodded, a motion sharp with certainty. Without thinking, he drifted closer, his shoulder brushing Josh’s. “Would we even know where to go?”

“We’d figure it out. Doesn’t matter where. As long as it’s not here.”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The air pressed in, thick with everything they weren’t ready to say out loud. Because a choice like that carried more than just risk. It carried the weight of the outside. Debt. Poverty. Hunger.

Would it be worth it, as long as they faced it together? 

Josh recalled Debby’s words to him weeks ago; “There is no relief from the outside for people like me.” - back then, he hadn’t realised how soon he’d be counted among the people she meant.

-o-o-

That night, the movie played in soft bursts of light, it’s flickers painting the walls and furniture in restless shades of blue and gold. The curtains were pulled shut, swallowing the streetlamp glow outside and leaving the room wrapped in a hushed, private darkness.

Josh sat at the end of the couch, one leg bent up against the cushion, the other foot planted on the floor. He only half-watched the movie, more attuned to the small sounds Tyler made beside him; the subtle shift of fabric, the faint creak of the cushions, a quiet hum or breath of laughter when a scene caught him off guard.

Tyler had picked the movie, though Josh doubted he was fully watching it too. His posture was loose but… careful. He was working himself up, waiting for the right moment.

They had spent many nights like this, making movies their nightly routine, but tonight the air between them felt charged, like a thread pulled taut. The walk earlier, the taste of fresh air, had left something new in its wake, and now it sat between them, daring one of them to be the first to reach across.

Josh stole a glance, just in time to see Tyler turn away, his gaze darting toward the television like he’d been caught. His jaw tightened, fingers fidgeting together in a quiet, almost imperceptible motion. But Josh noticed.

Then, Tyler shifted again, this time inching closer as if by accident. Josh didn’t react, returning and keeping his focus tightly fixed to the screen, though his pulse had begun to quicken.

Minutes ticked by. The couch dipped as Tyler settled closer, his shoulder brushing Josh’s arm lightly. The contact was light, barely there, but it sent a warmth through Josh’s chest. Still, he sat frozen, swallowing the urge to wrap his arms around him and draw him close. If Tyler was working up to some big gesture, he didn’t want to scare him away by rushing it.

The next time Tyler shifted, it was more deliberate, slower this time. He leaned in until his side pressed against Josh’s arm, so close now that the warmth seeped through his clothes.

Releasing a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, Josh raised his arm and rested it over the back of the couch, unable to help the laugh that escaped him when Tyler slipped in again, filling the space immediately and settling in. Josh glanced down, fondness humming in his heart when he saw a small, proud look on Tyler’s face.

“Comfy?” Josh asked, voice low.

Tyler’s answer came quiet, steady, almost content. “Yeah… I am.”

They stayed like that - close, but not fully entwined - until Josh felt a small shuffle against him again. Tyler’s head tilted, his temple brushing Josh’s chest before he leaned into it fully, resting his weight against him.

Josh’s hand itched to move, but he forced himself to stay patient. After a moment, he let his fingers drift over Tyler’s far shoulder, the lightest of touches. No matter what he did, with Tyler this close, Josh knew he must be feeling the rapid beat of his heart, ready to burst out of his chest.

By the time the movie reached its end, Tyler was leaning his weight fully into him, their sides pressed and locked together, Josh’s arms resting solidly around him. The credits rolled in soft white letters, drifting up the screen as the music swelled. Neither of them moved to turn it off.

Josh’s fingers traced the curve of Tyler’s shoulder over the fabric of his shirt, almost unconsciously. He wasn’t sure when he’d started doing it, but Tyler hadn’t flinched or shifted away. If anything, it seemed to settle him and he sank a little deeper into it.

“You still awake?” Josh asked quietly.

Tyler let out a low hum - maybe a yes, maybe a no. The room felt warm, but not in the stifling way it did during the day. More like the air itself had softened around them, holding them in its quiet. “You okay?” Josh asked after a beat.

Tyler hesitated, then tilted his head enough to glance up at him. “Better than I’ve been in a while.” His voice was thick and tinged a little with sleep, and Josh knew that somewhere along the way, he must have dozed off.

But the nervousness loosened in his chest at the words. “Good.”

They lingered there, looking at each other, caught in a pause that didn’t happen by accident. Josh felt his pulse quicken again, but he didn’t lean in. He wanted Tyler to set the pace.

Tyler’s gaze dipped to Josh’s mouth for a fraction of a second before he looked back up to his eyes. Then he shifted again, sitting up just enough to face him more fully, a knee brushing against a thigh, deliberate in a way that made Josh’s breath catch.

Neither of them dared to speak.

Josh’s hand slid from Tyler’s shoulder to his upper arm, fingertips barely there but ghosting under the hem of his sleeve, gliding over warm skin and waiting for the smallest sign to stop. But Tyler didn’t pull back. Instead, he leaned in, like every inch was its own decision. Their foreheads touched first, a brief, tentative press. Josh let out a small, disbelieving breath of a laugh. “H-Hey.”

Tyler’s lips curved faintly in that sleepy way that always sent Josh’s stomach tumbling. “Hey.”

Then, finally, Tyler closed the last of the distance, brushing his lips against Josh’s. It was the gentlest thing, warm, soft and over almost before Josh could even register it.

But when Tyler drew back a fraction, Josh followed without thinking, catching him again deeper, firmer. It wasn’t gentle for long. Josh pressed in, his other hand curling around Tyler’s back, pulling. The response he got was a breathless sound, almost a plea, as Tyler kissed him back harder. Every unspoken thing between them seemed to crash into that moment, urgent and unrestrained.

Josh deepened it, tasting the breath Tyler drew in between them, feeling the tentative curl of Tyler’s fingers against his chest, not pushing him away, not pulling him closer either. Just caught somewhere in the middle. His free hand raised to Tyler’s neck, fingertips brushing the edge of the gauze. 

And that was enough. Tyler broke the kiss in a rush, breath uneven. His eyes darted down immediately, wide in a way that made Josh’s heart sink as he pulled back, breaking the contact near his neck.

“I-” Tyler’s voice was off balance, shaken. “I’m sorry. I just… it’s a lot.”

Josh took a slow breath before answering, trying his best to keep his tone low and even. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.” He eased his hold on Tyler, but didn’t pull all the way back, letting the space between them stay warm and open.

The silence that followed didn’t settle; it thrummed under Josh’s skin, restless and sharp edged like it might cut him open if he moved too fast.

Tyler’s hand lingered on his chest for a moment too long, almost like he didn’t realise it, before slipping away. Neither spoke. The muted flicker of the television, having moved on now and autoplaying something new, lit Tyler’s face in a fractured, moving light, and Josh kept catching his gaze drifting back to his mouth.

After a few minutes, Tyler shifted and pushed himself away, moving to rise from the couch. “I think I’m gonna… try to get some sleep.” His voice was measured, careful, each word weighed before it left him.

Josh just nodded. “Yeah. Sleep’s probably a good idea.”

He hesitated only a moment before letting his eyes follow Tyler’s retreat, the slight hunch of his posture, the weightless way he moved toward the hall. He heard the creak of the stairs, then the faint, final click of the bedroom door closing.  

The living room felt bigger without him. Bigger, and emptier.

Josh stayed on the couch, elbows braced on his knees, staring at the television screen until his reflection came into focus. But his pulse still wouldn’t settle.

It hadn’t just been a kiss. Not for him. There’d been heat and want, yes, but threaded through it was a feeling sharper, deeper; relief. That same relief he’d felt when Tyler had first smiled at him after he’d woken up, when he had reached out and let their hands meet for the first time. It was the ache of wanting something you’d already thought was lost and gone forever.

He rubbed his palms over his face, swallowing the urge to go upstairs to Tyler’s room and say anything to pull him back. To pull them both into that room together.

But Josh knew better than to chase him tonight. Tyler’s fear was still in there, still fresh. Push now, and he’d only drive him further away.

Still… the moment replayed over and over in his mind, a loop he couldn’t shut off. And with each replay came the same hope that next time, Tyler wouldn’t pull away.

For now, Josh just sat in the dim light, listening to the faint sound of footsteps coming from above before Tyler settled into bed, a lot earlier than he usually would have. The revelation that maybe Josh had helped, eased him into peaceful sleep when he decided to follow. 

Chapter Text

Tyler woke to the sound of the neighbourhood already in motion, the faint hum of a distant lawn trimmer, the clipped voices of people exchanging perfectly polite greetings. The kind of noise that had always bled together into a single, controlled drone.

His head felt heavy. Not from lack of sleep but from the weight of last night. Every moment replayed in fragments; Josh’s hands, warm and firm. The silent, rapid thrum of his heart, like it could break free from his chest at any moment. And the way Tyler had leaned in without overthinking; the press of their lips, aching.

He sat up slowly, his chest swelling with memory. He couldn’t help it, a small heat rising to his cheeks when he recalled it, when his body reacted to it. Damn it .

Shame bubbled up from the pit of his stomach, shame mixed with desire that had been pressing down on him for weeks now. Josh’s hands pulling him, tugging him, sometimes gentle and sometimes demanding. Tyler wondered, for a brief flash, what would have happened if he hadn’t let the contact break last night. Wondered where Josh’s hands might have ended up, had he not been too afraid to continue.

He let out a frustrated groan, the hardness between his legs sending a jolt of nerves up his spine when he brushed against the blanket the wrong way. He kicked the comforter down, just enough that it rested on his thighs, and stared down at himself.

He knew he shouldn’t. He knew it was wrong. But the ache was almost painful.

He snaked a hand down his front before it landed on firm flesh, just above the fabric covering him. His shaking fingers twisted around himself, his grip tentative as he breathed out, the relief almost instant.

He thought of Josh. His lips, his teeth, nipping at him with urgency, with want . His fingers kneaded, feeling the hardness twitch under his own grip. God . The thought alone sent a current through him, hand working faster after it slipped into his briefs, gripping the heated flesh a bit more desperately now.

As he tugged, he slipped his eyes shut, focusing on the breath against him last night, recalling how their bodies pressed, wondering what it would feel like to have Josh’s hands pinning him down, to have his neighbour over him, drilling into-

“Tyler?”

There was a quick knock at the door, but the voice was gentle from the other side, like Josh didn’t want to scare him. “You awake?”

His hand stalled, a small, quiet moan stuck in his throat as he watched the door, eyes wide and terrified and praying that Josh didn’t crack it open.

But he didn’t. He knew Josh would never do that, always so kind and considerate. Patient. His hand moved again, unconsciously, completely out of his control.

“Tyler…?”

He moved faster, the familiar warmth coiling tighter and tighter in his gut. He was close, but he knew if he didn’t answer, Josh would push in. Would see him like this, hot and bothered and pathetic, blanket kicked down so he was exposed, squirming in his bed just from the thought of him.

Tyler cleared his throat, his hand still working, desperate. “Y-Yeah?”

Josh stalled on the other side of the door, clearly caught off guard by the tone, by the almost strangled way Tyler had responded. He could hear him shuffle, and then his voice came again, closer this time like he was pressed into the door, listening.

“You okay?”

His tone. That tone. It would be Tyler's undoing. The calm way Josh called to him, insistent until he got an answer, until he knew that Tyler was okay . Until he knew Tyler was taken care of.

The thought spiralled him, his fingers gripping, thighs twitching. Just a few more strokes… just a couple more thoughts… would Josh have that same tone, that same care when he held Tyler down, hands busy, bringing him closer and closer to the edge, breathing against his ear when he spilled?

The break was sudden, snapping deep within him as he felt himself release, painting his fist and navel in sticky streaks. Tyler’s breath left him in a muffled, strangled moan, his mouth immediately biting down on his lip in an effort to quiet himself.

Then, he felt the air stiffen. Outside, there was no noise, not even the barest suggestion of movement. Tyler swallowed, breathing heavy through his nose in an effort to sound composed.

“I’m fine,” He called, but there was a small tremor in his voice. He cleared his throat. “J-Just not feeling well.”

“Do you need anything?” Josh’s reply was instant, eager. Tyler just rolled his eyes, a small fondness running through him.

“Just need a shower.” He replied, looking down at himself again. That was certainly an understatement… but Josh didn’t need to know that. “I’ll be down soon.”

“Okay,” Josh’s tone eased, satisfied with the answer. Tyler heard him take a step back before he stalled again. “Don’t be long.”

The sentiment tugged at the corner of Tyler’s mouth. However, when he heard Josh’s footsteps grow distant, the silence forced him to confront what he had actually done. Even with the release, it didn’t help the steady, growing desire that coursed through him.

God, what’s wrong with you?

It gnawed at him, that flicker of heat whenever Josh leaned close, whenever he held Tyler’s hand. It should have been comforting, casual and innocent. But his body betrayed him every time, answering in ways he hated himself for.

You’re still imagining it, aren’t you? Josh being soft, careful and patient in a way you haven’t earned?

Wanting Josh wasn’t just complicated. It felt wrong. Not because of Josh, never because of him, but because of Tyler . Because that desire had been rewired, branded as dangerous the moment they’d put the implant in him. It wasn’t supposed to exist anymore, not like this. Not needy, not tangled with longing.

The kiss had proved it; he still wanted it. And the urge made him feel broken. Because if he gave into it, if he reached too far, what if he lost the one person who’d made him feel safe again?

He pressed the heel of his hand against his temple, wishing he could somehow turn it off; the hunger, the ache in his chest, the thought of Josh’s lips on his. He wished he could strip it away like they’d already stripped everything else. At least then he wouldn’t have to carry the shame of wanting what he wasn’t sure he deserved.

-o-o-

Once showered and clothed again, Tyler felt himself ease a little. He had slipped on the hat Josh had given him yesterday as he made his way down the stairs, tugging it over the fresh bandage behind his ear. Thankfully, the wound had healed enough that he could forgo the gauze now.

Josh was waiting for him by the front door, slipping into his shoes. When he noticed Tyler, he looked away, his face red and flushed, a small smile desperately trying to cover it.

Tyler hesitated on the last step, watching the way Josh’s hands fumbled briefly with the laces before tugging them tight. There was a nervous energy between them that hadn’t settled from last night, heavy but not unwelcome.

Josh cleared his throat, glancing up at him again. “Thought maybe we could… go for a walk? Just around the neighbourhood. Get out for a bit.” He carried himself with a careful casualness, but the way his eyes lingered, quick, then darting away, made Tyler’s stomach twist.

“Yeah,” He replied, adjusting the brim of the hat like it suddenly needed his attention. “Sounds good.”

Josh’s grin was quick, unstable but genuine. “Cool. I figured, y’know… fresh air couldn’t hurt.”

He pulled the door open, waiting, and when Tyler slipped past, their arms brushed. Barely there, but enough to spark. Josh shifted to give space, yet the touch lingered in Tyler’s nerves, unwilling to fade.

Outside, the afternoon air wrapped sharp and cool around him, a relief from the closeness. Tyler shoved his hands deep into his pockets, pulse beating too high in his throat. Still, he couldn’t help but notice Josh, how he fell in step beside him again, close enough that every movement felt deliberate.

They walked in silence for a stretch, the only sounds being their footsteps on the pavement and the low rustle of leaves overhead. Tyler felt the quiet sitting thick between them, not uncomfortable exactly, but weighted. Charged. He kept stealing glances at Josh out of the corner of his eye, trying not to notice how close he was, trying not to remember last night… or this morning…

Then, a sound reached him. The low hum of an engine idling. Tyler’s attention snapped forward. A lilac Initiative car sat at the curb a few houses down, its windows tinted. The Mulberry Co. logo gleaming on the door.

Two men in grey uniforms stood on the porch, a female Initiative worker between them. A woman clutched the doorframe, shaking her head, her pleas muffled but desperate. Tyler froze.

“Josh,” he whispered, barely moving his lips.

Josh followed his gaze, just as one of the men gripped the woman’s arm and yanked her forward. She stumbled out, crying, but was pulled and shoved into the back seat of the car before she could say anything.

The door slammed. Within seconds, the men had retreated into the front seats and the vehicle pulled away, leaving the street as quiet and ordinary as if nothing had happened.

But Tyler couldn’t move. His breath came shallow, his pulse roaring in his ears. His body remembered it too well, the grip on his arm, the sudden wrench from safety, the slam of a car door closing off the world. His wound throbbed in response, as though it was fresh again.

Josh’s hand brushed his sleeve, grounding, fixed. “Hey, Ty,” His voice was low and urgent, but careful. “Look at me,”

Tyler finally tore his focus from the empty street, finding Josh and watching him. Though he didn’t trust himself to speak at first, he managed to shake his head. “That was me,” he said, the words ragged, torn from somewhere deep. “That’s… that’s what they did to me.” The words tumbled out, strangled, helpless.

Josh’s grip became firm, unyielding. “You’re here now. You’re not there anymore. They’re gone, Ty. Just keep looking at me.”

Slowly, through the fog of panic, Tyler managed to keep his vision locked on him. Just like that, the world tilted back to a place more solid, and he breathed.

Josh scanned around, conscious that they were no longer behind the closed door of his house. When he was satisfied no one was watching, his hand slid from Tyler’s arm to his wrist, tugging him back a step. Then another. Tyler resisted at first, his body stiff as stone, his gaze moving back and fixing on where the car had been. The panic clawed up again.

“C’mon,” Josh urged, coaxing. “We don’t need to be out here right now.”

Before Tyler could argue, Josh guided him toward a side street, half-steering, half-holding him. The breath was still ragged, his chest heaved like he’d been running. He stumbled when they hit the shadow of a tall fence, his knees nearly giving out, but Josh caught him, steadying him against the wood.

“Easy. Just breathe.” Josh leaned in, placing one hand on Tyler’s chest. His tone dropped softer, steadier, like he was speaking into the storm of Tyler’s mind. “It’s not you this time. You’re here with me. Right here.”

Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, throat tight, the memory replaying in vicious clarity. Being dragged. The door slamming. The sterile white ceiling when he woke up with the implant screaming in his skull.

“I can still feel it,” He choked, voice breaking. “Like I’m still… God, like I’m still there.”

Josh shook his head fiercely, close enough that Tyler felt the heat of it. “You’re not. You’re with me. That’s over, Ty. They don’t get to take you again, I promise.”

For a moment, Tyler couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but let the weight of Josh’s words sink into him. He focused on the hand against his chest. It tethered him, kept him connected, grounded. Slowly, shakily, his hands rose and grasped Josh’s, pulling him in until their bodies were flushed. Tyler buried his head in the crook of Josh’s neck, letting out a deep sigh.

Josh didn’t flinch. He just stayed there, solid, letting Tyler hold on until his breathing began to even out. He wrapped his arms around him, tugging him close.

The minutes passed, and eventually, Tyler seemed to settle. “There you go,” Josh murmured, his hands running soothingly over his back. “You’re breathing again. That’s good.”

Tyler swallowed hard, still clutching at Josh’s shirt. The closeness should've embarrassed him, should have caused him to feel that pit of shame in his stomach at the desire. But instead, he felt rooted in it. Safe. He let out a shaky laugh, thin and humourless. “I hate that it still owns me. That I can’t even see a damn car without-”

“Shh,” Josh cut in gently through the self-loathing, firm but soothing. “After everything… of course it’s going to stick.” His tone dropped, almost reverent. “It doesn’t mean they still have you. You’re here, with me. I have you.”

The words hit harder than Josh probably meant them to. Tyler felt an emotion shift in his chest, a sudden warmth blooming where panic had just been. His grip on Josh’s shirt tightened, dragging him in impossibly close.

Then, Tyler pulled his face out of Josh’s neck. Their eyes met, neither of them willing to pull away.

Josh’s breath caught, his hands sliding to hover at Tyler’s waist, hesitant, waiting for a sign. Tyler gave it in the smallest way; tilting forward, his forehead brushing Josh’s temple like it belonged there.

This time, Josh leaned in first.

The kiss was unhurried, but certain, Josh’s hand finally settling on his waist, set and anchoring. For the first time since the car had pulled away, Tyler’s chest stopped aching. He wasn’t anywhere else, he was here; pressed against Josh, choosing this. Choosing him.

Josh’s fingers tightened, pulling him in, and Tyler felt himself melt into it. Their lips brushed, sharp and heavy, like the panic still simmered in Tyler’s chest. Like it had nowhere else to go but here, into the embrace.

Josh made a low sound, half surprise, half relief, and answered in kind, pressing him back a step until Tyler’s shoulders brushed against the wood of the fence again. The contact jolted him, but instead of pulling away, Tyler pushed forward, chasing Josh like he’d been holding himself back for too long.

Their mouths broke apart only long enough for breath, for Tyler to gasp against Josh’s lips before they found him again, tasting urgency and a need so raw it made his hands shake.

“Tyler-” Josh whispered against his lips, not pulling away, not stopping, just breathing his name like it meant everything he didn’t have the words for.

And Tyler pressed him harder for it, because maybe words would never be enough for this, for the raw ache in the pit of his stomach when Josh called his name like that . 

But then, it was Josh who broke first, though it looked like it cost him a lot to do it. He pulled back just enough to press his forehead against Tyler’s, breaths ragged, eyes shut tight. Tyler’s skin hummed at the loss, but his hands stayed where they were, unwilling to let go.

For a long, drawn out beat, neither of them moved. The air between them charged, thrumming with everything they felt, every tiny emotion, bundled up and landing between them. Tyler wanted to drag him back in, wanted to keep tasting him until the panic in his chest gave way - but Josh shook his head, like he was trying to convince himself.

“We should…” His voice was rough, and he swallowed before trying again. “We should go home, Ty. Just - let’s go home.”

The words stung, not because Tyler didn’t understand, but because he did. Out here, in the open, with Initiative cars still prowling the streets, one wrong glance could shatter everything .

Still, Josh’s thumb brushed his side, just under the hem of his shirt, tender even as he stepped back. He needed Tyler to know that the want hadn’t gone anywhere.

Tyler sighed, letting out a shaky breath before finally nodding. “Y-Yeah… okay.”

Josh’s smile was faint, almost pained, but it was real, his lips kiss bitten and flushed. He slipped his hand to Tyler’s wrist, giving it a small squeeze before letting go. Then, without another word, he started back the way they’d come.

Tyler followed, pulse still hammering, lips still tingling, wondering how the hell he was supposed to walk like nothing had just happened.

-o-o-

The rest of the day stretched thin, filled with moments that should have been ordinary, but certainly weren’t.

When they had returned, Josh had made breakfast. Tyler poured coffee, his hand trembling just enough that a few drops splashed the counter. Josh reached for a towel at the same time he did, their fingers brushing. Both pulled back too quickly, muttering “Sorry,” and carried on like it hadn’t happened.

Later, they ended up in the living room. Tyler sat on the far end of the couch, legs drawn up under him, eyes fixed on a book he clearly wasn’t reading. Josh flicked through channels without settling on one, the television filling the room with sound neither of them paid attention to. Every few minutes, Tyler would glance up, find Josh already looking, then both of them would snap their attention back to their distractions, heat clawing into their faces.

By afternoon, Josh tried to fill the silence with chores, moving around the kitchen, running the vacuum, anything to give his hands something to do. Tyler trailed after him once or twice to help, but their movements were stilted, careful, like they were circling each other in a room suddenly too small.

It lingered everywhere, in the space between their words, in the memory of how close they’d been. Neither of them named it. Neither of them dared. But it was there, pulsing just under the surface and impossible to ignore.

And it was beginning to drive Tyler insane.

By the time night settled in, they had drifted back to their routine, another movie flickering across the television. Neither of them had really paid attention to it. Josh had laughed once or twice, but the sound felt too loud in the stillness, too rehearsed. Tyler sat closer than he had all day, though not close enough to touch, his body drawn in like he was holding a secret tight inside.

When the credits began to crawl, Tyler stretched and pushed himself up from the couch. Normally, this was where he would mutter a goodnight and retreat upstairs, leaving Josh to the hum of the television and the empty space he left behind. But tonight, he lingered at the edge of the sofa, shifting on his feet.

Josh glanced up at him, eyebrows raised just slightly. “Heading to bed?”

Tyler nodded, then hesitated. His fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt, nerves written clear across his face. “Yeah, I, uh…” His voice caught, and he forced himself to turn his attention to Josh. His expression made Tyler’s chest tight, but he pushed through it anyway. “You could… come up. If you want.”

The words hung there, heavier than they should’ve been, carrying everything they had been skirting around all day.

Josh’s lips parted, like he wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Then the faintest, crooked smile broke through, softer than anything Tyler had ever seen on him. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I’d like that.”

Tyler eased into a small relief. He didn’t move right away, almost afraid the invitation itself would break if he was too quick, but then Josh stood, nodding towards the stairs. Together, without another word, they left the glow of the television behind.

Upstairs, the bedroom was dim and quiet, the only light coming from the muted glow of the bedside lamp. Tyler busied himself first, peeling off his shirt and tugging on a soft cotton one, tossing his jeans over the back of a chair. He caught Josh doing the same out of the corner of his eye, trying not to stare but failing. There was no casualness about the sight of him in nothing but a loose pair of sweats.

By the time they slid under the blankets, it felt a little more normal. Two people sharing a bed, nothing more. Until every moment from the day replayed in Tyler’s head.

He lay on his side, facing Josh. After a beat, Josh mirrored him, their faces only inches apart. Tyler swallowed hard, nerves buzzing under his skin. When Josh shifted closer, slow and careful, Tyler didn’t move away. Instead, he let himself lean into it - into the solid warmth of Josh’s chest, into the arm that snaked over his waist, tentative and then more certain.

It was simple at first. Just holding on. Tyler let out a breath, the tension in his shoulders loosening as Josh leaned his chin lightly against his hair. For a while, they just stayed like that, listening to each other breathe.

Then Josh’s hand started to move, tracing slow lines over the curve of Tyler’s back. Tyler shivered from the way it stirred hot and restless feelings in him. He tilted his head back, just enough for his nose to brush Josh’s jaw. And that was all it took.

Their mouths met in a kiss, soft at first, testing, much like the night previous. But this time neither of them pulled away. Tyler pressed closer, letting himself melt into the warmth, the safety, the ache he had been feeling all day.

With his finger threading into Tyler’s hair, Josh deepened it, drinking in the needy sounds Tyler let out into the space between them.

It wasn’t rushed, but it wasn’t careful anymore either. It was hungry, inevitable.

The embrace built fast, like neither of them could stop feeding it once they’d started. Tyler moved closer, chests pressed together, heat sparking everywhere they touched.

Josh groaned low in his throat, the sound vibrating against Tyler’s mouth, and it made him shiver. He tilted his head, opening to him, and Josh didn’t hesitate. His tongue brushed his, careful at first and Tyler met it with a rush, answering the pressure with his own.

The world narrowed down to this; the weight of Josh’s arms around him, the strong line of his body against his, the desperate rhythm of their mouths moving together. Tyler broke away for a second, only to nip at an already swollen lip, and the low moan he got in response fueled him.

Josh broke then, just long enough to rest his forehead against Tyler’s, their noses brushing, both of them panting. “ Tyler… ” His voice was wrecked, wavering, like he wasn’t sure if he should stop or dive back in.

Tyler didn’t give him a chance to decide. He surged up, catching Josh’s mouth again, rougher this time, pressing like he wanted to burn the doubt out of both of them. Josh’s hand slid along his jaw, into his hair, tugging gently, guiding him deeper, and Tyler let out a strangled sound. He was helpless to resist.

It was fire and relief all at once, overwhelming, every second daring them closer to crossing a line they would never be able to come back from.

Josh’s fingers slid from Tyler’s jaw down the curve of his throat, lingering just long enough to make Tyler’s pulse kick harder beneath his touch. Then lower, across his collarbone, skimming the line of his chest through the thin fabric of his shirt. Tyler arched into it without meaning to, a shaky breath escaping against Josh’s mouth.

Tyler’s own hands weren’t still either. One gripped at Josh’s arm, grounding himself, while the other slid hesitantly down his side, over the dip of his waist and the solid plane of his back. The heat of him was staggering; alive, solid and here. Tyler dragged his palm upward again, flattening it between Josh’s shoulder blades, pulling him closer. He couldn’t bear even an inch of space between them.

Josh’s lips were getting impatient, the rhythm turning almost frantic for a few beats before breaking again on a ragged exhale. His forehead pressed to Tyler’s, lids shut tight as though he was trying to hold himself together. But his hands betrayed him, slipping under the hem of Tyler’s shirt, warm palms splaying across bare skin. Tyler jolted at the contact, melting into it, a small, involuntary sound catching in his throat.

That sound undid Josh. He dragged his mouth down from Tyler’s lips to his jaw, then lower, brushing over the corner of his throat, his stubble scratching in a way that made Tyler gasp.

“God, Ty…” Josh’s plea was muffled against his skin, his breath warm. His hands skimmed higher under the shirt, thumbs grazing over ribs, exploring like he couldn’t help himself.

Tyler’s own fingers slid down to Josh’s waist, tugging at the fabric there, fumbling and needy for a moment before their lips met again. This time, it was wild, messy and consuming. Urgent with desperation. Tyler clutched at him like he’d drown if he let go. Their bodies aligned as Josh rolled them, clumsily at first, then locking together, Josh pressing him back into the mattress with his weight.

The pressure lit a fire sharp and hungry inside Tyler. His hips shifted up instinctively, dragging against Josh’s in a rough, needy grind. The jolt of friction tore a muffled groan from both of them at once.

“Fuck-” Josh breathed against his lips, cracked and dark. His hands braced tight on either side of Tyler, then one slid down to his waist, gripping his hip hard, guiding the next roll. Tyler gasped, breaking the contact only for a second before chasing his mouth again, desperate to taste him, to keep him close.

It was messy - kissing that turned into panting, panting that turned into half-swallowed moans. Josh’s thigh slipped between Tyler’s, and Tyler moved against it helplessly, chasing relief, every nerve on fire. His fingers tangled in Josh’s hair, tugging, aching for more.

The groan he got in response was low, and Josh buried his face against Tyler’s neck, biting back sounds that still tumbled through him. “Tyler…” He called again, strained, ragged, like a prayer he didn’t trust himself to finish.

Their rhythm was unsteady, but hot, grinding, breath catching with every drag of friction. Tyler’s body burned, humming and alive in a way that terrified and thrilled him all at once.

Josh’s mouth dragged down his throat, teeth grazing skin, and Tyler arched into it with a sharp inhale. Their hips were growing urgent, each grind rougher than the last, heat sparking sharp and addictive. Tyler’s fingers clawed at Josh’s back, desperate for more friction, more closeness, anything . “Josh,” He breathed, eyes desperate as he searched Josh’s. “ Please… ”

The response was instant. Josh braced himself with a knee to the mattress. He pulled away from the closeness just enough to tug Tyler’s shirt off over his head, before he moved back in. Then, his hands slipped lower, fumbling with the waistband of Tyler’s boxers. Tyler froze for half a heartbeat, pulse spiking with panic - but before he could say anything, Josh murmured low against his skin. “I promise,” He whispered, nipping along Tyler’s jaw. “I won’t hurt you.”

The words unravelled Tyler. He nodded, swallowing hard, and Josh’s hands tugged the waistband down, just enough to wrap his hand around him. Tyler bit down on a sound that still managed to break loose anyway, his hips jerking into the touch.

And Josh just kissed him through it, messy and clumsy, muffling Tyler’s breathy moans as his hand worked in a deliberate rhythm. Every stroke pushed him closer, faster, until he was writhing against him.

“Oh, God -” Tyler’s head pushed back into the pillow, but Josh followed him, teeth grazing his jaw, whispering. “Feels good, right?” He pressed his lips against Tyler’s skin, soft, just under his ear. “Stay with me, Tyler .”

He was trying. He really was. But Josh’s breath against him, the way he said his name. It was exactly how he had imagined it.

Josh shuffled above him, and Tyler gasped when he felt his hand return, wrapping around both of them at once, stroking them together in one messy, hungry grip.

And then Josh was moaning against his throat, shivering above him, his hand working harder, rougher, his hips snapping forward, grinding into Tyler’s length. Seeing him lost in pleasure, hearing the noises he made, it was too much.

“Josh-” Tyler gasped his name, voice breaking. The pressure was coiled too tight, too fast. He couldn’t hold it back. Not with Josh’s breath in his ear, not with the heat of their bodies grinding into each other with no space left between. 

But Josh didn’t slow. He moved, giving the shell of Tyler’s ear a press of his lips before he whispered. “It’s okay, Ty.” His breath hitched before he continued. “Let go,”

He did, unable to stop himself. When Tyler came, Josh’s lips were on him again, swallowing the noise. He spilled over Josh’s hand, slicking his fingers. Josh didn’t stop, not even when Tyler trembled through the aftershock, sensitive and on the verge of over stimulation. He kept stroking.

It hit him a moment later. Josh buried his face against Tyler’s neck with a groan, pace stuttering, spilling into the sticky mess between them. 

His body sagged heavy on top of Tyler’s, their chests heaving together, Josh’s hand still tangled between their stomachs.

For a long stretch, they stilled, just breathing together, slick and shaking, neither of them daring to break the closeness. Tyler’s heartbeat hammered so loud it might drown out the rest of the world, but for once, he didn’t care. All that mattered was Josh’s weight pressed into him, keeping him steady.

Eventually, Tyler let out a soft, shaky laugh. “You’re heavy,” he murmured, though his tone was warm, teasing.

Josh chuckled into his neck. “You didn’t seem to mind two minutes ago,” he replied, fingers tightening just slightly, making Tyler shiver.

“Mm…” Tyler hummed, pressing back against him, his hand brushing against Josh’s arm. The aftermath, this soft, warm feeling that swelled in his chest made him feel lightheaded, giddy. “I’m… glad you’re here.”

Josh nuzzled against him again, a small smile evident as he pressed his lips against Tyler’s neck. “Always.”

A pause followed, thick but comfortable, the chaos of moments ago giving way to a quiet intimacy. Tyler tilted his head, whispering. “You won’t… leave, right?”

“Not unless you make me,” Josh said with a small grin, though his voice kept that same, calm, soothing tone.

A small breath of relief made its way out of Tyler and he curled in, squeezing Josh closer. “Good,” he murmured. “Because I… I don’t want to be away from you,”

The confession was small, and really all that he could handle right now. Josh pulled back just enough to look at him, brushing a damp strand of hair from Tyler’s forehead. “You won’t be.” he said firmly. “Not tonight. Not ever, if I can help it.”

Minutes passed in wordless comfort, Tyler’s pulse slowing, his body sinking into the warmth of Josh’s embrace. His eyelids grew heavy. “Josh?” He whispered, drowsy, like the orgasm had knocked what little energy he had left right out of him.

“Yeah?”

“I… I think I can… sleep now,” Tyler murmured, a soft hum of surrender.

“Good,” Josh said, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. “Sleep, Ty. I’ve got you.”

Tyler gave a small, content sigh, already halfway there. In his stupor, he felt Josh raise off him, heard the sounds of him cleaning them both off before he slipped back into the bed behind Tyler, pulling him to his chest.

Sleep eventually claimed him and Josh held him close, careful not to move, letting the peace and the closeness carry them both through the night.

Chapter Text

The morning light crept in through the curtains, painting the room in a muted glow. Josh stirred first, his body sluggish with sleep and the memory of the night before settled deep into his bones like a warmth that wouldn’t cool.

For a moment he just laid there, until he realised the weight pressed lightly against him wasn’t a dream. Tyler was tucked close, face half-buried in the pillow, breath slow and even. His hair was tousled, falling messily across his forehead, and his lips were parted just slightly - the picture of exhaustion, of peace.

Josh’s heart swelled. He hadn’t seen Tyler like this before, unguarded, without the shadow of fear and pain clinging to him. He was just… soft. Human.

Careful not to wake him, Josh shifted onto his side, propping his head on one arm so he could watch him more fully. Every so often, Tyler’s brow would twitch, like some dream was trying to pull him under, but his body always settled again whenever he curled closer toward Josh.

He wanted to reach out, to smooth the stray strands of hair from Tyler’s face, to trace the faint lines at the corner of his mouth. But he held himself still, not daring to break the fragile calm of the moment.

Instead, he let himself look.

Last night hadn’t been planned, hadn’t been anything they’d talked about, but it happened; and the memory was still fresh on his skin, in his hands. He could still hear the noises Tyler had made against him.

If Josh wasn’t already lost before, he definitely was now.

But no matter how much Josh wished to keep him like this, blissfully asleep, the morning was tugging at Tyler anyway. He stirred, lashes eventually fluttering before his eyes cracked open. They were heavy, but he blinked slowly, his gaze finding Josh only inches away.

For a heartbeat, neither moved. Then Tyler gave a faint, groggy sound, half a sigh, half a laugh. “You’re… staring,” His voice was low, thick with sleep, and the tone sent a current through Josh.

“Yeah. Guilty.” He gave a small shrug, a playful smile set on his lips. “Didn’t want to wake you,”

Tyler swallowed, shifting against the pillow, a little awkward and stiff like he had just remembered where he was, who he was curled against. “I’m… not used to this,” he admitted quietly.

Josh’s hand moved, landing on the blanket between them, fighting the urge to reach further. “Me neither,” He said. “But… I could get used to it.”

For a second, Tyler just glanced away, heat rising to his cheeks. Josh worried, stalling, because what if that had been too much? What if Tyler couldn’t handle the heaviness of the moment?

To his surprise, Tyler’s mouth curved into the smallest, sleepiest smile. “Yeah,” he whispered, voice hushed and shy. “Me too.”

The tension in Josh eased, and he exhaled. Finally, he let his hand slide over the blanket until it brushed against Tyler’s, whose fingers twitched in response, shifting just enough so their palms pressed together lightly.

“Well,” Josh began once their hands started idling. “who would have thought the cranky Tyler Joseph would enjoy waking up next to his annoying neighbour?”

The corner of Tyler’s mouth twitched - a smile he tried and failed to hide. “Maybe,” he said finally, voice soft. He was recalling how much he used to hate Josh. It felt so far from them now.

But Josh couldn’t help himself. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Tyler’s temple, lingering there just long enough to feel him exhale.

“Dangerous move,” Tyler muttered, though his voice had none of the bite it usually carried and his lip quirked despite himself. “Keep that up and I might ask for more.”

Josh froze for a beat, pulse stuttering at the words. He searched Tyler’s face but there was no obvious retreat, no taking it back. Just teasing tinged with honesty, raw and bare in the morning light.

The invitation was clear.

Shifting closer, Josh tugged at Tyler’s hand. “And if I said I wouldn’t mind giving you more?” He asked, tone careful and low, watching the blush that crept up Tyler’s neck like it was a prize.

Tyler’s gaze flickered to his mouth, then down to his collarbone before he looked back up. “Then I’d say you’re a bit easy, Mr. Dun”

Josh almost barked out a laugh, the sound warm in the space between them, like the sun on a clear day. “Easy, huh? That’s what you think of me?”

Smirking, Tyler was unable to help the small chuckle. “Kind of hard not to, the way you’re looking at me right now.”

Josh tilted his head, leaning against his shoulder after he propped himself up. “You’re one to talk. You’ve been staring at my mouth since you woke up.”

Tyler scoffed in response, trying to sound indignant but failing, his hand on Josh’s. “I have not,”

The grin that was returned was bright, genuine, Josh’s face filling with amusement. “You totally have. Don’t worry, I’m not complaining,” He said, finally shifting to wrap his arms around Tyler’s waist and pull him in. He leaned in, close enough to whisper into Tyler’s ear, breath hot. “It makes me feel… wanted .”

The word lingered, deliberate. Just to see Tyler squirm, to tease him a bit more, to fluster him. The reactions Josh had come to love about him.

He was about to say more, to continue with a smug quip, before Tyler suddenly shifted, a blur of movement as he rolled them over. Josh let out a startled laugh that broke into a half-groan when he found himself flat on his back, Tyler straddling his hips with a grin that was equal parts daring and nervous.

“Woah - okay,” Josh said, hands lifting instinctively like he was surrendering. His ears burned at the sudden reversal, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. “Guess I deserved that.”

Tyler leaned down, close enough that Josh could feel the heat of him. “You did.” His hands pressed lightly at Josh’s chest, keeping him pinned more by intent than force. “Besides, you were the one that said I needed to feel in charge again.”

Josh blinked, caught between laughter and heat as the memory clicked in place. He had said that when he suggested they start their walks. “Ty… I didn’t mean like th-”

But Tyler cut him off with a sly smile, the redness in his cheeks betraying how bold the action felt. “Too late.” He leaned in further this time, brushing his nose over Josh’s, lips close, almost touching.

“You’re unbelievable,” Josh huffed a laugh, his voice rougher now, his fingers lingered at Tyler’s thighs before settling there carefully. He couldn’t help the pool in his stomach, and through the thin sweatpants riding low on his hips, he was sure Tyler could feel the effect of his words, the undeniable proof of the closeness.

Then, Tyler brushed his lips, just enough to tease. “You like it,” He whispered, close enough to make Josh shudder, his head leaning up almost instinctively in an attempt to capture him in a kiss. Tyler, of course, pulled back, denying him the satisfaction.

“I really, really do.”

With that, Tyler finally closed the gap, pressing hard enough to knock the breath right out of his lungs. Josh’s hands clenched against his thighs, holding back the urge to grab and flip them again. He was curious to see where this would go. Curious, and a little desperate.

Tyler lingered, testing the waters, then deepened it, his mouth firm and insistent. Josh responded with a groan into the kiss, helpless against the push of it, his pulse racing as Tyler leaned into him, pressing flush against his body.  

But Tyler didn’t plan to stop there. The longer their mouths stayed pressed together, the more insistent he became - pushing, tasting, letting himself claim the moment. Josh’s hands finally slipped to his waist, fingers curling like he needed them there, like they tethered him, but Tyler was already shifting, sliding further into his lap until he was angled just right.

The sudden drag of heat against him pulled a sharp sound out of Josh’s throat, muffled when Tyler kissed him harder, like he wanted to drown in it. His rhythm was slow at first, deliberate, rolling down against him with purpose. Every shift drew another ragged growl from Josh, who clung to him helplessly, lungs working too fast.

When Josh’s hands tightened on his hips, urging him close, Tyler suddenly shifted. He caught them, pulled them away and pressed them flat to the pillow beside his head. The move wasn’t rough, but it was firm enough to steal Josh’s breath for a whole different reason. He broke the kiss with a laugh, low and disbelieving, his eyes wide as they met Tyler’s.

“You-” Josh started, his voice wrecked already. “You’re really taking that ‘be in charge’ thing to heart, huh?”

Tyler smirked, leaning in just close enough for his lips to graze again. “You’re the one who told me I should try it.” Coupled with his words was another slow grind of his hips, his weight settling down to hold Josh in place.

Josh groaned, his head tipping back into the pillow, arching against Tyler’s. “I-I didn’t mean like this,” He said again, his laugh half choked, but his eyes gave him away - hungry, lit with fire, like he really didn’t mind at all.

When Tyler pulled back, it was slow and deliberate, like he wanted to watch every twitch of expression on Josh’s face. Tyler let his hands slip free, resting them against Josh’s chest. His fingers lingered there, tracing over the sharp edges of bone and toned muscle, before they started their slow descent. The movement was unhurried, testing. He wanted Josh to feel every inch of it.

And Josh did. Tyler shifted upright, straddling him fully, palms dragging lower, over the tight plane of his stomach, lingering at the waistband of his sweatpants like he was daring him to break first. Josh’s hands idled, still laid on the pillow where they had been pinned, half a thought away from grabbing, but he didn’t move. He just looked up at Tyler, eyes dark, mouth parted and waiting.

“You look nervous,” Tyler murmured, his voice rough, but there was a flicker of a smile too. He curled his fingers into the fabric there, tugging lightly, teasing. “Relax, Josh. I’m not going to hurt you,”

Josh knew that even through this sudden burst of dominance, Tyler was being truthful. Because those words meant everything to him. To both of them. So Josh relaxed, exhaling through his nose deeply before he smiled, his hands coming back to rest on Tyler’s hips.

“Okay,” He hummed back, and the smile that tugged on Tyler’s lips was more than worth it.

That earned him a kiss, quick and searing, before Tyler sat back up again. His hands dipped lower, finally slipping beneath the waistband, fingertips brushing against heat. The way Josh’s entire body jolted in response made Tyler’s breath stutter, but he didn’t stop. He wrapped his hand around him, slow, steady, claiming this new kind of control just as much as the kiss before.

Josh’s head fell back into the pillow, his groan spilling into the dim quiet when he couldn’t hold it back. “Fuck, Ty-”

Josh felt him shudder, the small use of his name causing his lungs to hitch into a sound that was both possessive and playful. With each stroke, Josh’s hands squeezed on his hips, and when he squeezed too hard, Tyler shushed him. “Not yet,” He murmured. “I want to feel this… feel you, like this.”

He couldn’t stop the low, ragged moan that escaped him. It was all too much. Tyler’s hand, stroking rough and firm, each drag sending electricity through his veins. Tyler’s voice, demanding and careful all at once as he tested this new control. Tyler , in general. Everything about him.

Josh scanned the lines of his face, the focused, almost shy way he approached the situation - He was beautiful… and adorable… and so, so sexy - Tyler embodied every positive thing you could possibly say about someone, all at once. And the more Josh thought about it, the tighter the coil in his stomach got, the larger the warmth in him bloomed.

“You’re killing me here,” Josh managed between strokes.

“Not killing you,” Tyler murmured, brushing his thumb over the pearl of precum forming on the tip, Josh’s hips twitching in response. “Just want to make you feel good,” His gaze locked on Josh’s face, drinking in every reaction, every small movement, every stuttered gasp.

“Tyler-” His voice cracked, the tension hitting its breaking point. But then suddenly, Josh’s breath stuttered. He turned his head away, lids squeezing shut. “Wait,” He pleaded, the word sharp enough to still Tyler’s hand instantly.

“Too much?” Tyler’s expression shifted, waiting for an answer.

Josh swallowed, his pulse racing for reasons beyond the arousal. “I-I haven’t…” He swallowed, his tone embarrassed. “I haven’t done this before. With a guy, I mean. Not like this…”

For a moment, Tyler didn’t move. His grip loosened and he sat back, still straddling Josh but giving him room. “You could’ve said something sooner.” His tone wasn’t cold, just careful.

Josh gave a shaky laugh, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Wasn’t exactly thinking with the right head.”

Tyler’s mouth curved faintly, stifling a laugh. “Guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” He reached out to run his free hand down Josh’s chest, understanding that now, after everything Josh had done for him, it was his turn to take care of him. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to… I just-” Josh exhaled. Not out of frustration or embarrassment, but out of relief. He allowed the desire to tangle up in him, relaxing again into Tyler’s touch.

And Tyler understood the silent cue. He leaned back in, kissing him once, slow, savouring the taste of him. “We’ve got time,” he said against his lips. “So let’s go slow.”

The promise behind the words settled warm on Josh’s skin. Then Tyler moved down, lingering at Josh’s jaw for a moment, then down the column of his throat, hands moving to brace on either side of him.

Josh could feel his pulse thud under Tyler’s mouth, and he didn’t bother trying to hide the way his fingers clenched. There was no use hiding it from him, because Tyler’s lips were sinful enough, his teeth grazing lightly over his collarbone, shifting his body down and leaving a trail of kisses along Josh’s skin, along his navel and eventually…

Tyler sat between his legs, his hands smoothing along the inside of his thighs. The gentle pressure had Josh’s breath hitching again, and he propped himself up on his elbows.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Tyler murmured, his voice low but more certain than Josh had ever heard it.

He swallowed hard, a faint, almost dazed smile tugging at his mouth. “Not a chance.”

There was a faint smile, and Tyler raised his hands, finally freeing him fully from the waistband of his sweatpants. The air stilled. It wasn’t the first time Tyler had seen him like this, seen him hot and flushed, but it was the first time being this close. He swallowed, checking Josh’s reaction.

He was beet red, the warmth crawling up his neck, into his cheeks, eventually reaching the top of his ears. His flushed lips were parted, hair messy and wrecked. And his eyes… those eyes. They watched him, hungry, filled with craving and neediness and embarrassment all at once.

The tumble in Tyler’s stomach was enough to shift him forward, his tongue flicking, lazily catching the tip in an unbothered motion. But the reaction, now that was instant.

Josh’s hand threaded into his hair. Not demanding, not forceful, but pleading. He let out a small shuddering huff, and Tyler leaned forward, lips parting and beginning their slow descent, hugging every curve and bump along the way, tongue flattening and jaw shifting to give room.

“God, Tyler ,” Josh breathe above him, and even though Tyler couldn’t respond, he hummed with approval, hands dragging up Josh’s thighs before he pushed off, slowly, then made his way back down.

The pace he set was slow, cautious, like he didn’t want to reach the finish line even though they had spent weeks running towards it. But Josh was watching him, piercing and filled with fire. On a particularly slow drag back up, Tyler even felt him tug on his hair, though he was quick to relax again.

It was cute, really. How desperately he was trying to control himself. His inhales were measured, his hand was loose and his hips were still. Tyler pulled off with a pop, licking his red lips. “I’m not going to break, Josh.” He said, a small, playful smile leaving him before he leaned in again.

That seemed to spark in Josh and he smiled, embarrassed. When Tyler closed around him again, he felt it this time. The fingers in his hair tangled and then… he tugged , hips twitching upward ever so slightly.

That’s more like it , Tyler thought to himself, exhaling deep through his nose. He took a second to brace himself and then quickened his pace, one hand gripping what he couldn’t fit in his mouth and the other moving up, searching for Josh’s free hand. When they met, their fingers interlocked, Josh’s grip trembling.

But he wouldn’t last much longer like this. Josh’s head had fallen back into the pillow, breaths ragged. Tyler’s mouth around him, shit , he had no thoughts or words to describe it. Those soft, plush lips, teasing him, tugging him, pulling and pushing. That tongue, usually silver and fast with quips, was now laid against him, soothing, massaging and tearing noises from Josh’s throat he didn’t even know he was capable of making.

The heat that coiled from somewhere deep within was agonising and sweet all at once. If he wasn’t careful, if he didn’t stop the mouth on him, coaxing and perfect , he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

Then, just before that edge tipped over, Josh’s hand tightened, curling against Tyler’s locks. Not rough, but firm enough to pull him off. Tyler blinked at him, lips wet.

Josh’s chest rose and fell hard, his voice shaking, barely there. “Ty… stop.”

Tyler froze, one hand still bracing against Josh’s hip, eyes searching. “Was it bad-?”

“ No . God, no. I just-” He shook his head, hand moving to unconsciously brush a thumb along Tyler’s jaw. “I want you.” He said simply, and the weight in his voice was clear. “All of you.”

For a second, Tyler just looked at him, the tension between them tightening like a wire. Then that slow, deliberate smile spread across his face, and he moved up, sliding up Josh’s body to kiss him again - deep, deliberate, and full of promise.

“You sure?” Tyler murmured between kisses.

Josh gave a short, unsteady laugh. “Never been more sure.”

Tyler pulled back, expression glinting at that, but his fingertips were trailing soft over the warm skin of Josh’s chest again. He took a moment to kick off his boxers, before he settled into a straddle again, this time completely bare.

Josh could only take in the sight. Tyler above him, hot, hard and untouched, flushed, heat creeping up his neck. For the first time since they had started this morning, he looked shy, his hands bracing against Josh before he looked away.

“Hey,” Josh called to him, waiting until Tyler’s eyes flicked back to his. “You don’t have to look away. Not with me.”

“Guess I’m just… not used to being looked at like this.” He admitted, voice almost swallowed by the quiet in the room.

Josh didn’t waver. He ran his hands over Tyler’s thighs, reassuringly. “Better get used to it then.”

That seemed to work. Tyler huffed out a laugh, but the flush in his face deepened. Josh’s hands slid up, gentle, tracing over his hips before skimming over the curve of his waist. “Come here,” He murmured, pulling him down into another kiss, slower, and deep enough to make Tyler’s toes curl.

Then, Josh reached into the nightstand, twisting only slightly, his fingers closing around the small, lavender bottle tucked inside, unused and left there by the Initiative before he had even moved in. When he pulled it back, Tyler raised a brow, but said nothing.

Josh took a moment to slick his fingers before tossing the bottle to one side. He wasn’t sure exactly how to do… this , but he could take a guess. Still, that didn’t help the bundle of nerves, the dip in his brow. Tyler noticed, leaned forward, and pressed a series of kisses to the corner of his mouth.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Josh whispered against his lips, snaking one arm around his waist and pulling him flush. Tyler nodded.

Then, he moved his hand down Tyler’s back, stopping when he reached far enough. The first touch caught Tyler’s breath, and Josh circled with patience, eventually pushing in. He felt fingers curl at his ribs, Tyler leaning in to brace his forehead against him.

Josh couldn’t help himself. “You okay?” He asked, his voice uncertain as he curled his finger deeper, unsure of what he was actually supposed to be doing.

A shaky laugh escaped Tyler. “Just… feels different.”

“Good different?”

The smile that curved Tyler’s lips was honest, his lids fluttering shut. When Josh continued, he heard it. A hushed, breathless sound, warm against his cheek. “Yeah,” Tyler stuttered, a shiver running through him. “Good different.”

Josh worked slowly, easing him open in careful, deliberate movements. His other hand moved, thumb rubbing over Tyler’s hip in small circles. He seemed to lean into the touch, the tension in his thighs giving way little by little, until his body began to rock with each movement, chasing the sensation.

And then, a moan . Josh flushed, adding a second finger. The knowledge that he was doing something right, caused a swell of pride in him. He couldn’t help the tug of his lip. “Relax for me,” He murmured, still feeling the tension there, still feeling some tightness. Tyler obeyed, letting his shoulders drop, letting the heat in his chest spread lower.

Every careful press drew another small sound from him, until he was warm and pliant, his forehead slick against Josh’s.

“ Josh ,” He finally rasped, though he couldn’t help the way his hips rocked. “Please.” Tyler pressed in, pushing his lips to his, needy, quiet and almost like a plea. Like he hoped the kiss could carry the words his mouth refused to form.

And Josh understood. When he finally pulled his hand back, Tyler exhaled like he’d been holding it the whole time. His thighs trembled at the loss, but the look he wore was fierce, hungry.

Tyler shifted up again, bracing his hands on Josh, his knees tightening at his sides. The space between them was unbearable, every inch of skin humming with anticipation.

Josh’s hands were on his hips again in a second, watching as Tyler lined himself up, watching, waiting for what he knew would come next.

Then, Tyler slowly sank down. The stretch pulled a sound from him that he didn’t bother hiding this time, his brows drawing together as his body adjusted. It was almost agonising, and when their hips met again, they breathed, shuddering into it.

While Tyler took the time to adjust, Josh scanned him. The slight heave of his chest, the cute flutter of his eyelids, the red parted lips. He raised a hand, running it up Tyler’s waist, trailing all the way to his neck, anywhere he could reach.

And then Tyler’s gaze landed on him. He moved, slow, testing, letting them both feel it. The groan that it pulled out of Josh was anything but innocent.

“Tyler…” He panted, a crack in his voice. “You feel incredible .” He did. Every pull against Josh made his legs twitch, every drag of heat was palpable. The way Tyler’s hands ran down his skin as his hips continued their rhythm, left hot scorching trails of desire that settled deep in him.

Then, Tyler cracked into a small, euphoric expression, his eyes rolling back before slipping shut. He moved with measured care, rocking, letting Josh feel every subtle shift.

A sound hummed from Josh, a gasp or moan that made Tyler’s body shiver in response. His hands braced himself, fingers curling over the soft curve of Josh’s ribs, hips raising, slapping down with more certainty, faster now. Josh’s lips trembled before he bit down in an effort to compose himself, to hold himself off as long as possible.

When he felt the bruising push of Josh’s fingers on his hips, he slowed again, hips rolling, deliberate and maddening.

“T-Tyler…” Josh cracked an eye open to look at him, wrecked and flushed. “Don’t… don’t stop, please ,”

Tyler smirked, low and mischievous. “I’m not stopping,” he murmured, leaning down to press his lips against Josh’s again, dragging out the kiss, letting it linger and twist, slow and teasing, his hips never fully stalling but unhurried and merciless. His hands curled into Josh’s hair, and the slowness of his pace caused the body under him to writhe, desperate.

Josh almost whined . His grip was knuckle white, body trembling as he tried to coax Tyler close. But Tyler’s slow teasing rhythm held firm. “You’re going to have to earn it,” Tyler whispered, voice rough, teasing control, pulling them both into the moment, holding back just enough to make it unbearable.

Then, Josh’s lungs tightened. “I can’t-”

“Can’t what?” Tyler murmured, voice sultry, teasing, his breath hot as he moved to Josh’s ear. “Can’t handle a little more?” He pressed his lips against Josh’s skin, then pulled back, just enough to pull a groan of frustration out of him.

Josh’s arms were around him, pulling him close, trying to keep him there, but Tyler shifted, letting the heat of his body linger without giving the satisfaction Josh craved. Every slight movement, every teasing brush of skin made Josh’s body coil tighter, every inhale a mix of pleasure and frustration.

“You look good like this,” Tyler said, a wicked smile curving onto his lips. “Desperate, so perfect…”

He didn’t know where this Tyler had come from. Didn’t know when he had arrived. But Josh would be lying if he said he didn’t love every second of it. The teasing tone, the deliberate build of pleasure, never quite tipping him over the edge. He just hovered there, pathetic, sweating, writhing like his whole life depended on it. Depended on the body pinning him down. And Josh loved it.

“You’re mine right now,” Tyler whispered to him. “Every little sound, every shiver, every gasp… Mine .”

Every second was delicious torment. Josh’s huffs came ragged, and when he wasn’t able to hold back, his hips bucked up roughly, knocking Tyler off balance just a little before he caught himself. The movement had caused a slow, drawn out sound to escape Tyler, and that was all Josh needed. The want snapped in him, a sharp, urgent decision. With one quick, fluid motion, he rolled them over, pinning Tyler beneath him.

Tyler let out a short surprised laugh, but his eyes were alight with heat and anticipation. He didn’t say anything, but Josh’s grip hardened on Tyler’s hips, keeping him pinned before he leaned in. He captured Tyler’s mouth in a deep, desperate kiss, his hips immediately snapping forward in faster, messier thrusts.

Tyler moaned into it, tilting his head, letting Josh set the pace, but the spark of playfulness never left his face. His fingers threaded through Josh’s hair, tugging gently, his own gasps mixing with Josh’s growls, a delicious mix of surrender and desire.

“J-Josh,” He cried out, arching into him, the clumsiness of their thrusts growing, neither willing to stop now that they were this far. “ Mmh… don’t hold back,”

And that was all the invitation Josh needed to deepen his control, letting the long-awaited reversal push them both higher into the tension, the teasing, and the slow, inevitable climb.

Tyler writhed, a strangled moan escaping him as Josh’s pace intensified, their movements desperate, raw, urgent. The sound of skin sliding against skin, mingled with low growls and gasps, filled the room: a private symphony of need.

Then, Josh’s control wavered, his body trembling. Tyler could feel it, feel how close he was. He raised a hand, moving between his legs, but Josh brushed it away, instead, wrapping his hand around Tyler, the pace of his fist matching his hips.

Tyler cried out, soft and pleading. It was all too much. The way Josh drilled into him, the rough hand around him. “ Josh ,” he called his name, drawn out like a warning. But the speed only picked up in response, and before Tyler could even get the words out to warn him, he came, the wire snapping. His back arched and a deep, strangled sound ripped from his throat, because Josh was watching him. Watching every twitch, watching every movement, like he had been starving for it.

Then, Josh’s brow furrowed, unable to hold himself back for a second longer. Tyler’s climax had tightened all around him. The soft moans, the call of his name, the shudder of his body underneath him. He spilled, leaning in and biting down roughly on Tyler’s neck in an effort to quiet himself. His hips stuttered, giving one or two more thrusts before he stalled completely.

For a long moment, they stayed tangled, chests heaving, sweat slick and sticky, hearts hammering. Tyler buried his face against Josh’s neck, shivering, while Josh’s arms wrapped around him, holding him like he never wanted to let go.

Slowly, the fire dimmed, leaving them in a heavy, warm afterglow, every inhale and exhale a quiet reminder of what they’d just shared. Tyler’s finger idly traced lazy patterns along Josh’s arm, voice muffled against him. “ God , that was intense.”

Josh chuckled softly, moving to press a kiss to Tyler’s temple. “Yeah… it was,” His voice was low, content and a little breathless. “But… so worth the wait.”

Tyler let out a shaky laugh, settling more fully against him. For the first time in a long while, the world outside felt distant and unimportant. All that mattered was this, right here, right now. “So, round two in the shower?” He asked jokingly.

Josh let out a groan, eyeing him with half disbelief, half interest. “I don’t know who you are, and what you’ve done with Tyler,” He laughed. “but I’m not saying no to that.”

Chapter Text

The days that followed blurred into a life Tyler had once imagined but never believed he’d get to live.

Their mornings always started slow, sunlight creeping through the blinds and painting soft lines across Josh’s bare shoulders. Tyler would wake first some days, other days Josh would. Either way, they always lingered, sharing lazy kisses, whispering about nothing, listening to the quiet hum of the house.

They made breakfast together, Tyler leaning against the counter while Josh flipped pancakes, bickering over whether they needed more syrup. Tyler insisted he could handle the coffee maker; Josh insisted he was better at it. Neither admitting they just liked watching the other pretend to be annoyed.

In the afternoons, they found small excuses to stay close. Josh would be fixing things around the house, tightening a loose cabinet hinge, sweeping the porch, and Tyler would show up, leaning in the doorway with a mug of tea and some dry remark that would always make Josh chuckle. Tyler liked the way his laugh always sounded like it was only for him.

Nights were their own kind of ritual. They’d curl up on the couch, Tyler’s legs draped across Josh’s lap, half watching whatever was on the television, half scanning the lines of Josh’s face and losing himself there. Sometimes Tyler would doze off, other times the tension and want from the day would tip over and they would find themselves hot and spent on the couch, chests heaving and breaths ragged.

It was easy, the rhythm they fell into. Too easy, maybe. Tyler felt it in the quiet moments, when Josh’s hand brushed his, when their knees touched under the table, how dangerous it was to want this so badly. Because wanting meant that he allowed himself to imagine keeping it, and he knew too well how quickly the Initiative could rip something like this away.

Still, he let himself have it for now.

Josh was chopping vegetables for dinner one evening when Tyler slipped behind him, arms sliding around his waist. “You’re cutting them too small,” he murmured against Josh’s shoulder, earning him a mock glare.

“You’re welcome to take over, chef,” Josh said without looking up from the cutting board, his tone warm and amused. He didn’t step away, if anything, he leaned back just enough to feel the press of Tyler’s chest against him, breathing out through his nose in a half sigh, half hum.

A couple of seconds passed like that, the steady thunk of the knife filling the small kitchen. Then, he tipped the diced carrots into a waiting bowl.

“You’ve been hovering around me more than usual today,” Josh added with a crooked smile, glancing sideways as if to catch Tyler’s expression. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Have I?” Tyler asked, his voice airy, almost absentminded, though the way his hands lingered at Josh’s waist betrayed him.

Josh finally set the knife down, turning in Tyler’s hold so they were face to face. He looped his arms loosely around Tyler’s middle, tugging him in with a lazy, practiced ease. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I like it, don’t get me wrong but…” His words trailed off, and after a brief hesitation, he leaned in to brush a soft kiss against the corner of Tyler’s mouth, a gentle touch that lingered a moment too long to be casual. “Is there something on your mind?”

Tyler’s mouth curved in the faintest smirk, but his arms instinctively tightened, anchoring Josh closer. There was a grounding warmth between them, in the way Josh’s heartbeat felt steady against his own.

“Maybe,” he admitted, his gaze drifting past Josh’s shoulder toward the kitchen window. Outside, the streetlamps cast long, fractured pools of light onto the empty lawn. “I’ve been thinking…” He lowered his voice, like it carried a weight he wasn’t sure how to set down. “About what we talked about on the walk. Leaving.” 

Josh stilled, the humour in his expression softened and shifted into a more alert tone. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Tyler didn’t waver, though his arms stayed firm around Josh’s waist. “I used to tell myself it wasn’t possible. That it was too risky, too stupid. But now…” His shoulders lifted in a faint shrug, the motion brushing Josh’s chest. “I don’t know. It feels like if we’re gonna do it, it should be soon.”

Josh studied him, his own expression calm. Beneath the steady look, there was a stifled, fragile hope. “You’re serious?” He asked, searching Tyler’s features like he needed to hear it again.

“Yes.” Tyler replied, not an ounce of hesitation in his voice. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for them to knock on the door again.”

Josh’s jaw worked, tightening like he was holding back a dozen different things he wanted to say. Then, instead of speaking, he reached for Tyler’s hand, the warm weight of his fingers sliding between Tyler’s until they were laced together.

“Then I guess we start figuring it out,” He drew in a slow, measured breath, his thumb brushing across the back of Tyler’s knuckles. “But if we do this… you know it’s not gonna be easy. We could end up right back where we started. Or worse.”

“I know,” Tyler cut in before Josh could continue. His tone wasn’t sharp, just certain. “I’ve thought about it. We’ll have nothing. No safety net, no guarantees. Just…” his expression changed, softening into a small vulnerability. “Us.”

Josh ticked, the tension of his features loosening until he felt warm. “Just us, huh?” His voice carried a faint thread of amusement, but the weight of it was all sincerity.

A corner of Tyler’s mouth lifted, a slight, lopsided smile that didn’t quite mask the worry flickering underneath. “Yeah. We could get a place. Doesn’t have to be big, just enough for a bed, a table…” He let his voice trail off, vision drifting to the window again like he was picturing it. “Maybe a couch, if we’re lucky.”

And Josh didn’t bother hiding it, he could already see it too. The cramped little apartment with peeling paint, the secondhand furniture that didn’t quite match, the peace in between moments that would belong to no one but them.

A short, breathy laugh escaped him, and his arms tightened around Tyler’s waist as if holding onto that image. “And what, live off my incredible cooking skills?”

“You could work in a little diner somewhere, or a cafe. Make the best grilled cheese in the city.” Tyler offered. “And I could… I don’t know. Back to some boring office job, maybe. Or… deliveries? Whatever’s out there.”

Josh shook his head, somewhere between disbelief and amusement. “You make it sound like we’re just gonna walk out there and pick up jobs off the street.”

“Maybe we will,” Tyler’s voice softened, carrying that dangerous mix of humour and hope. “The point is… we’d figure it out. We’ve been through worse.”

Josh studied him for a long moment, his gaze tracing over Tyler’s face like he was trying to read every thought behind those eyes. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, fond. “You’re an optimist when you want to be, you know that?”

“Or maybe I’m just desperate enough to believe we can make it work.”

Josh’s hand shifted, his thumb sweeping slowly over Tyler’s skin, a light movement, but one that seemed to bring them both back down to reality. “Alright,” he said, with the kind of hushed conviction that came from making peace with a decision. “If we’re doing this, we do it together. No matter how bad it gets.”

Tyler’s response was a curl of his fingers around Josh’s, holding tighter. “Together.”

-o-o-

The next morning, there was no small talk, no easing into it. The air around the table felt charged, like they’d walked in carrying the same unspoken weight. 

Josh and Tyler sat shoulder to shoulder, their knees brushing beneath the table, a quiet show of unity. Across from them, Jenna and Debby settled into their chairs, steam curling from the mugs in front of them.

Tyler leaned forward, fingers laced tight around his coffee as if the heat might steady the restless energy in him. “We’ve been thinking… about applying to leave. All of us.”

Jenna’s eyes widened, and then unexpectedly, she smiled. “About time,” She said, the words tumbling out like she’d been holding herself back for days. “I’ve been waiting for one of you to bring it up. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend this place feels normal.”

Josh let out a laugh, part relief, part disbelief. “Guess we’re on the same page then.”

But Debby didn’t smile. She glanced between the three of them, her fingers curling tight around her mug until her knuckles paled. “You’re serious? You know what that means, right? We’ll be back out there with nothing. No guaranteed work. No rations. Just…” She exhaled, the sound heavy, and shook her head. “It’s not like we can just pick up where we left off.”

Tyler’s jaw flexed, but his voice stayed measured. Getting defensive wouldn’t help, though part of him ached to shove the doubt in her aside by sheer force. “We know it won’t be easy. But staying here,” he motioned toward the desolate streets beyond the window, the neat houses that somehow felt like cages. “This isn’t living.”

Debby turned to Jenna, searching her face. “And you’re okay with this?”

Jenna didn’t hesitate. “Yeah,” she said unwavering. Her fingers slid across the table, curling gently around Debby’s. “I’d rather scrape by out there than rot in here. At least out there, what happens is our decision.” 

Josh gave a nod, his demeanour appearing steady but threaded with conviction. “We’re not saying it’ll be perfect. But we can make it work. We’ll find small jobs, maybe get a place together. Split the costs, keep each other safe.”

Debby didn’t look up. Her attention had moved and stayed fixed on the dark swirl in her coffee, her thumb scratching at the side of the ceramic mug. “I just… don’t want us to end up worse than before,” She murmured. “Hungry. Stranded. Regretting it.”

Tyler leaned forward, studying the worry etched between her brows, the taut line of her mouth. “We’ll figure it out,” he said, the words carrying more weight than volume. “Together.”

When her gaze finally lifted to meet him, there was no softening there, only the same guarded fear holding her in place. 

The table sank into a thick, uneasy silence, the kind that seemed to press against the walls. Somewhere above the hum of the refrigerator, the steady tick of the wall clock cut through the air, measuring out the long seconds.

At last, Debby let out a long, uneven breath, her shoulders slumping as if the fight had drained out of her. She pinched the bridge of her nose, lids closing before she muttered. “Fine. But if we end up on the street…” her voice was sharp despite the weariness. “I’m killing all of you.”

From across the table, Jenna found Tyler, an imperceptible glance, but it carried. It was a handoff, a promise that she’d take care of it from here and make sure Debby was okay. Tyler gave the barest nod in return, the unspoken agreement settling between them like a pact.

When they left, the tension didn’t ease. The door clicked shut behind Jenna and Debby and Tyler stood there for a moment, listening to the muffled ambience their absence left behind. He exhaled slowly, his posture easing by the slightest fraction. “That went… better that I thought.”

Josh was leaning in the kitchen doorway, one ankle crossed over the other, arms folded loosely across his chest. That half-smile tugged at his mouth, the one he always used when he was trying to smooth sharp edges. “Better than you thought? She didn’t slam the door in our faces, so yeah, I’d call that a win.”

Tyler moved towards him, fingers dragging through his hair in a restless sweep. “If we’re doing this, we can’t drag it out,” he said, ignoring Josh’s comment more out of stress than indifference. “Tomorrow, we go to Michael. Fill out whatever paperwork they’ve got for people who want to leave.”

“Think he’ll just hand it over?” Josh asked after a beat, his inquiry dipped with doubt. “I’ve never heard of anyone applying to leave before.”

“Maybe because no one asks.” Tyler was calm but still verbally edged with determination. “We do it by the book. Walk in like it’s just another form to file, no drama, no hesitation… and maybe he won’t make it a big deal.”

Josh’s brow knit, a faint crease forming between his eyes. He tried to keep the exchange casual, but it couldn’t quite disguise the weight of his question. “And if it is a big deal?”

The certainty of Tyler’s expression was startling. He was doing a good job at convincing himself that this would be a smooth process. “Then we deal with it,” he said simply, like the answer had been decided long before the conversation.

Josh’s lip twitched, not quite forming a smile, but close enough to show he was already on board. “Tomorrow, then.”

-o-o-

The four of them stood in the cramped, warm waiting room of Michael’s office, the hum of the ceiling fan filling the silence. The paperwork sat stacked neatly on the reception counter, four identical forms with their careful, blunt answers in black ink.

Ivy, Michael's receptionist, flicked through them with nails painted a glossy purple. She didn’t look rushed. She didn’t even look interested.

“You want to… leave?” Ivy asked at last, her voice caught somewhere between disbelief and the kind of flat boredom reserved for requests she’d never really expected to hear. Her attention focused on the stack of papers on the counter, then back up to them. “All of you?”

“Yes.” Jenna spoke before anyone else could, chin lifted and defiant as ever. “That’s why we filled out the forms.”

Ivy’s eyes lingered on her for a moment before sweeping over the rest of them, one by one, like she was taking their measure, testing the edges of their resolve. The faintest crease formed on her face, though her tone stayed cool. “Nobody leaves,” she said plainly, each word clipped. “Not unless Michael approves the paperwork. And Michael’s… busy.” 

Josh stepped forward, planting his palms on the counter, leaning in just enough to make the movement deliberate. “So when does he stop being busy?”

Ivy let out a short, amused breath and the corner of her mouth quivered as if she’d just been told a particularly naive joke. “That’s not how it works, sugar.” She said, voice laced in condescension. “You don’t just stroll in here and decide you’re done.”

She leaned back in her chair with unhurried ease, crossing one leg over the other and picking up a nail file from the desk. As she began to drag it across the edge of her thumb, her attention barely lifted to meet theirs. “Michael decides if you’re done.”

Tyler felt the muscles in his jaw tighten, his patience wearing thin. “Then let him decide.” he said, each word holding less restraint. “We’re here, he’s here. Just let us talk to him.”

Ivy shook her head slowly, like she was savouring the chance to drag this out. Setting the nail file aside, she gathered the forms into a precise, squared off stack, tapping the edges against the desk until they were perfectly aligned. “You’ll hear back if he wants to see you,” she said, calm in a way that felt final. “Until then… go home.”

Jenna cut in, sharper than before, her posture still with barely contained frustration. “And you’re just going to keep the forms?”

“Protocol.” Ivy didn’t even blink, the word slipping out like it was enough to answer anything. Then, a faint curve touched her lips, a smirk that didn’t bother hiding its smugness. “I’ll be in touch.”

Tyler’s eyes tracked her hand as she slid the forms into a drawer, the soft click of it closing somehow sounding louder than the hum of the fluorescent light above. The gesture felt deliberate, and when he looked up, Ivy’s attention was locked on him, tunnelled, like she knew something but wasn’t willing to say.

No one spoke as they turned to leave. The door shut behind them with a hollow thud, and they made the slow walk out of the building and across the nearly empty lot to Josh’s car. The cold hit harder than it had when they’d arrived, an edge in the air that cut through their coats and settled in their bones.

-o-o-

It had been a couple days since they’d left their forms with Ivy, and not a single word had come back. No phone call. No knock at the door. Not even a polite rejection.

The first day, they told themselves it was just bureaucracy being slow. By the second, Tyler had started checking the mailbox twice a day even though he knew it was pointless. By the third, the tension had shifted into a low thrum of unease that neither of them could quite shake.

That night, laying in bed with the silence, Tyler had said it without really meaning to - how he liked their time in the house, how it felt safe in a way, but he longed for the idea of being out with Josh. A date. A place where it wasn’t just the same four walls between them and the rest of the world.

Josh hadn’t offered much in reply at the time, just gave a faint smile in the dim light and kissed the top of his head.

Which is why, two mornings later, Tyler found himself bundled up in his coat, climbing out of Josh’s car onto the cold sand that stretched wide and pale under a sky still bleeding from night to morning. The air was sharp with salt and chilled enough to bite his ears, the only sounds the distant hiss of waves and the creak of Josh’s boots beside him.

“It’s barely six,” Tyler murmured, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Exactly,” Josh said, his voice quiet but warm as he retrieved a basket and blanket from the back of his truck. “No one else comes this early.”

They walked toward the shoreline, the sand firm and cold beneath their feet, not yet given the chance to be warmed by the sun. Out here, the town felt far away, like they’d stepped out of it entirely.

Josh set down the basket onto the sand, shaking out the blanket as he did. “You’d think someone would invent a ‘perfect beach picnic at dawn’ kit,” he mumbled, tugging at the corners to flatten it out with a huff.

Tyler didn’t think to help. Instead, he was crouched by the basket, peeking inside. “I think you just did.” He grinned. “You brought pastries. You know me too well.”

Josh laughed after Tyler settled beside him, lifting the basket between them and finally opening it. He retrieved a thermos of coffee and a paper bag of croissants and danishes. The faint scent of sugar and butter mixed with the crisp, salty air.

“I figured if I’m forcing you into early mornings, I might as well make it worth getting up for.” He offered, pouring a cup of coffee for Tyler and handing it to him. “Your royal breakfast awaits.”

Tyler shook his head, smiling at the show. He hesitated just for a moment before taking the coffee and wrapping his hands around it. “Pastries, coffee and smooth talk? You’re dangerous.”

“Oh, danger’s my specialty.” Josh said with a laugh, fingers brushing just slightly, a spark of contact that was deliberate and teasing.

Tyler’s lips curved into a soft smile, gaze catching Josh’s. “Mm, I could get used to this… us,” he said, voice low and shy with affection. “Quiet mornings, no one around. Just… you.”

Josh leaned closer, tilting his head just enough for their foreheads to brush. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Kinda feels like we have the whole world to ourselves out here.” His grin deepened, eyes warm, and there was a subtle gleam that made Tyler’s heart skip a beat.

Tyler reached up, threading a hand through Josh’s hair at the nape of his neck, letting his thumb brush against the curve of his jaw. “Careful,” he said, with a playful smile. “Or I might think you’re trying to get us into trouble right here on the sand.”

Josh leaned in at that, brushing his lips softly against Tyler’s temple. “Maybe I am,” he said, though his voice was amused. “But only the fun kind of trouble.”

Tyler let out a soft laugh, resting his head briefly against Josh’s shoulder when he pulled back. “I think I like that kind of trouble,” he admitted, reaching out to squeeze Josh’s hand. The coffee in his other was comforting, but the warmth from Josh was something else entirely. Subtle, yet magnetic.

The waves lapped at the shore in slow, rhythmic pulses, and the sky was streaked with peach and lavender, light enough to reveal the shimmer of the water but still gentle on the eyes. A late summer breeze teased the strands of Tyler’s hair across his forehead, and he stalled to take it all in.

“You know… this part I could get used to.” he paused to sip his coffee. “Might be the only part of the Initiative I’ll actually miss.”

Josh raised an eyebrow, curious. “Oh? And not the surveillance, or the patrols around the town?” He said with a slight laugh.

Tyler smirked faintly, a hint of mischief under the wistfulness. “Definitely not. I mean… mornings like this. No rules, no jobs, no debt. Just… breathing, and coffee, and…” He let his voice drift, letting Josh fill in the rest.

“Just us.” Josh leaned closer, letting his shoulder rest against Tyler’s.

“Yeah. I’ll be glad to leave the Initiative, don’t get me wrong. But.. this-” he gestured towards the beach, the tiny picnic, the hush of the waves. “This is the part I’ll miss. Maybe the only part I’d ever look back on fondly.”

Josh nudged him gently with his knee, teasing but tender. “Well, we can always sneak a few more mornings before we leave. No one’s stopping us. Not this early, anyway.”

Tyler leaned in just a little more. “I think I’d like that,” he admitted with a laugh. “I’d like that a lot.”

Josh kissed the top of his head, lingering with a quiet. “Me too.”

They had eaten slowly, savoured the pastries, and sipped their coffee in comfortable conversation. Tyler had lingered over the last bite, teasing Josh with crumbs on his fingers before Josh gently swiped them away, the only sound interrupting their laughter being the continuous lap of waves.

Now, Tyler sat nestled between Josh’s legs, leaning back against his chest, feeling the warmth radiate through him. Josh’s arms wrapped lightly around his torso, fingers tracing lazy patterns over his sides. The sky above had shifted into a gradient of golds and blues, the sun rising steadily, spilling its colour over the horizon.

It felt perfect. Right here, right now, nothing pressing on them, just the two of them and the open stretch of the beach. He allowed himself to hope, for freedom, for choices, for a future where they weren’t confined by rules and walls.

But nothing ever came that easy.

At the same moment, their phones buzzed sharply in unison; Tyler’s in his pocket, Josh’s on the blanket.

Tyler shifted up, hand digging to fish it out. But Josh had stiffened behind him. He already knew what it meant when phones went off at the same time. He frowned before reaching for his.

Neither said anything right away, instead they just opened their messages and read silently.

Dear Valued Resident,

We hope this message finds you well and thriving in our wonderful community! We’re reaching out with an important update to your residency terms, designed to ensure your continued safety, comfort and happiness.

Effective immediately, all resident contracts have been updated. Going forward, departures from the Initiative will no longer be permitted. This change helps us maintain a secure, stable, and harmonious environment for everyone - something we know you value as much as we do!

We understand that change can feel surprising, but rest assured, this adjustment has been carefully implemented with your well-being in mind. Should you have any questions, your friendly Initiative liaison is always available to assist.

Thank you for your attention, cooperation, and ongoing commitment to making our community extraordinary.

With warmth and gratitude,

The Community Relations Team

“Mulberry Street - so good to see you!”

Chapter Text

“Going forward, departures from the Initiative will no longer be permitted”

The rest of the email swam in and out of focus, the words slipping through Tyler’s mind like water through cupped hands. He kept reading the same sentence over and over, but it didn’t matter - every version ended the same.

He didn’t speak. Couldn’t. The crash of waves filled the space instead, steady and uncaring, the horizon bleeding into pale violet as the sun inched higher.

Josh’s voice finally broke the silence, sharp and brittle with disbelief. “No longer permitted? No. This isn’t-” He stopped himself, and the breath he dragged in was jagged. “This is bullshit.”

Tyler lowered his phone into his lap, his knuckles pale against its black case. He stared at the sand as if there might be some answer buried there, anything better than the one glowing on their screens. The warmth he’d felt only minutes ago, watching the sunrise, pressed against Josh’s chest, seemed like a cruel joke.

“So that’s it, then,” he said quietly, each word weighed down. “We’re stuck.” 

“Like hell we are,” Josh snapped, his voice cutting through the morning air, too loud, too raw. “They can’t just lock us in like this and expect it to work out.” He shoved his phone into his pocket, the movement sudden, as if cramming the message away might make it less real.

Tyler didn’t flinch. Didn’t argue. The heaviness inside him wasn’t anger; it was the kind of weariness that sat in his bones, immovable. “Feels like they already have.” He murmured, attention still locked on the sand.

Josh stared at him, jaw tight, the muscle ticking as his frustration rolled off him in waves. “No,” he said, voice low but razor edged. “I’m not just gonna sit here and let them decide our lives for us.”

Finally turning his head, Tyler's eyes found him for the first time since the messages had arrived. The morning light caught his expression, revealing a flicker there - guilt, fear, and maybe the faintest edge of hope - but it slipped away as quickly as it came. Tyler wasn’t able to hold onto it.

“Then you’ll have to be the one to figure it out.” he murmured, his voice carrying the gravity of someone already convinced the fight was lost.

Josh looked away, searching like the ocean might lend him an answer. His fists curled at his knees, nails biting into his palms. “So that’s it? You just gonna roll over?” His words came out rough. “After everything? After all that talk about getting out?”

Tyler didn’t move, didn’t even twitch at the bite in Josh’s tone. His focus returned to the tide, the slow hypnotic drag pulling back and forth across the sand. It felt safer than eye contact right now.

“It’s over, Josh.” he said, and though his voice was calm, there was no steadiness behind it - just a shallow echo of himself. “They’ve made it clear. We’re not going anywhere.”

“No. No, that’s exactly what they want you to think, Tyler.”

“You really think we can fight them?” Tyler asked, not with challenge, but with a tired sort of certainty. “They control everything. The food, the power, the rules. They own us, Josh. They always have.”

The words hung between them, heavy as wet sand. Then, with a short exhale that broke into a bitter, humourless laugh, Josh shifted and stared at him, like he was seeing a stranger. “So we just sit here and wait? Pretend this place is enough until they decide we’re not useful anymore?”

The sunrise, once warm and gold, seemed colder now, its dimmed light hitting Josh’s face and illuminating the thin, unforgiving lines.

“At least here we’re fed.” Tyler said finally, though his voice betrayed him. The kind of  grief that came from having no other option. “We have a roof. Out there… we’d have nothing.”

Josh’s whole body went rigid. Then, in a sudden movement, he pushed up from behind Tyler, the shift so abrupt it almost knocked him sideways. Tyler caught himself on the blanket, looking up in surprise, but Josh was already standing over him, the early light catching sharp in his features.

“We’d have a chance, Tyler.” Josh said, each word tight and deliberate, like he was forcing them through clenched teeth. “I don’t care if it’s one in a hundred - we’d still get to decide what happens to us. Here? We’ve got no say. Or have you forgotten that?”

The two of them locked eyes. The wind picked up, carrying the tang of salt from the waves, still crashing against the shore. Tyler stayed still, his face unreadable, and the absence of any answer was its own kind of confession.

Josh’s frown deepened, and when he spoke again, it was accompanied by a glare - cutting, yet with a protective edge. “You can give up if you want to. But I’m not done. I’ll drag you out of here if it’s the last thing I do.”

He didn’t know what to say. Tyler sat there, staring at him, a flicker of recognition, or maybe longing, on his features before it was smothered under the same heaviness that had been pulling at him since the message came in. He drew in a breath, slow and forced, before turning his gaze to the horizon.

“You talk like it’s that simple.” He murmured, low enough that the wind nearly stole it away. “Like wanting it is the same as making it happen.”

He turned his attention back to Josh, but this time his eyes were full, welling and threatening to spill over. “We both know what will happen if we try. They’ll kill us.” Tyler’s voice cracked, more so when he noticed the softening dip of Josh’s brows, the way he moved to kneel beside him, the hand on his shoulder.

“They’ll kill you, if you try,” Tyler continued, and he let it happen this time, let the tears spill. The frustration, the longing, the disappointment. It all tipped over, uncontrollable and suffocating in its fullness. “A-And I’m not prepared to continue in here without you, Josh… if anything happens to you-”

A sob cut him off. Well, a sob, and the sudden crushing weight of Josh’s arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Tyler buried his head into the crook of his neck, arms curling up against his back. For a long while, they stilled, Tyler’s cries muffled into the hug.

Josh held him like he was afraid Tyler might vanish if he let go, his fingers curling into the fabric of his coat. He kept his chin tucked over Tyler’s shoulder, the steady beat of his heart pressing against him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Josh whispered, low but certain, the kind of tone meant to pull someone back in place, to set them right. “Not without you. I promise.”

Tyler’s breathing was uneven, still catching on the remnants of tears, but he didn’t pull away. The world felt smaller here, in the circle of Josh’s arms - smaller, but safer, even with everything pressing in from the outside.

When Josh loosened his hold, he pulled back just enough to look at him, his thumbs brushing Tyler’s cheeks to catch what was left of the doubt. “We’ll get through it. We will think of something.” he said, leaning in to press his lips to Tyler’s skin. “Maybe not today,” Another kiss, this time to the other side. “Maybe not tomorrow. But I’m not letting them lock you in here forever.”

Tyler searched his face, the certainty of his voice, the unshaken resolve behind his expression. It was both terrifying and comforting in equal measure.

And though he didn’t believe the promise - not fully - he nodded anyway, leaning forward until his lips pressed against Josh’s. For now, it was enough to just feel him there, solid and warm against the uncertainty creeping in from the edges of the morning.

-o-o-

That night, Tyler woke to shouting.

It was disjointed at first - heavy boots on the wooden floor, a door slamming against the wall, the sharp command of voices that didn’t belong there. By the time his mind caught up, they were already in the bedroom.

Two men in black Initiative uniforms had Josh by the arms, wrenching him out of the bed and toward the door. His bare feet scraped against the floorboards, heels digging in, but they barely slowed the pull.

“Get your hands off him!” Tyler’s voice cracked as he stumbled out of the bed, the blanket tangling around his legs as if the room itself wanted to slow him down.

Josh twisted, meeting his eyes for the briefest, desperate second. “T-Tyler, stay back-” His warning was cut off by the blunt crack of a baton against his ribs. He doubled over, gasping, before they yanked him upright again.

Tyler lurched forward, reaching for him, but another man stepped into his path, a wall of muscle and black fabric. “Don’t touch him!” He heard Josh yell, frantic, but Tyler couldn’t see him anymore. They were dragging him from the room again, and the Initiative worker placed a heavy hand on Tyler’s shoulder, fingers curling to bruise.

“Stay in the house,” the man ordered, voice low and absolute.

“No!” Tyler’s shout came out raw, unrecognisable in his own ears. He shoved past, nails catching on Josh’s shirt just long enough to feel the fabric beneath his fingertips before they ripped him away entirely.

The door slammed, the sound final and echoing. A couple of beats past, filled with the muffled sounds of struggle and Josh, his Josh, calling for him, desperate. When Tyler tried to follow, the man grabbed him again, firmer this time, and shoved him back into the room.

Stumbling to the window, Tyler caught one last flash of Josh’s face as they forced him into the back of a dark vehicle. His mouth formed words Tyler couldn’t hear, couldn’t read, before the door shut and the car disappeared down the road.

The silence that followed was deafening. Tyler’s chest heaved, eyes darting, searching for a way out, searching for a way to undo this.

And then-

He jolted upright in bed, gasping, sweat cooling on his skin. The room was dim with early morning light. Beside him, Josh was sprawled on his stomach, still breathing, slow and even, untouched and more importantly, safe.

Tyler pressed a shaking hand over his mouth, the phantom echo of the dream still rattling in his bones.

Breath still unsteady, he watched the rise and fall of Josh’s back. The urge to reach out was almost painful, to shake him awake, make sure he was really here, solid and warm and alive. His fingers hovered just over Josh’s shoulder. All it would take was a light touch. One word.

But then what? Tyler could already imagine it - Josh rolling over with that half-asleep squint, asking what was wrong, and Tyler fumbling through the explanation. The dream would sound ridiculous out loud, nothing more than a nightmare. And yet… the images were still sharp in his head. Too sharp.

His hand lowered, brushing against the sheets instead.

It was enough for Josh to shift slightly, murmuring something incomprehensible into the pillow before settling again. Tyler’s throat tightened. He wanted to wake him, to make sure he’d never have to see that look in his eyes, the terror from his dream, outside of sleep.

Instead, he laid down, close enough that his knee brushed Josh’s. But sleep wouldn’t come. All he could see was the door slamming shut.

After some time, sunlight leaked in through the curtains, a pale gold that stretched across the bed. Josh stirred, stretching with a low groan before rolling onto his side as his lids cracked open.

Tyler, already awake, stared at the ceiling.

And Josh noticed instantly. He shuffled, voice rough with sleep, the kind of sound Tyler usually liked, but this morning it only made the knot in his chest tighter. “G’morning.” He mumbled as he blinked against the pale light, hands reaching out almost on instinct to pull Tyler in. “You okay?”

Tyler’s mouth curved. It might have been a smile if it had made it to any other part of his face. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Josh frowned, burying his face into the crook of Tyler’s neck before his lips found skin and he kissed softly. “Bad dream?” 

Tyler stiffened, then relaxed, but it was enough for Josh to notice. He looked up, eyeing him, but Tyler just stared at the ceiling. “It doesn't matter.”

Huffing, Josh tugged at his waist, drawing him in closer. “It matters if you’re lying here like you’re waiting for the ceiling to collapse on you or something.”

That seemed to do the trick. Tyler let out a short laugh, bringing a hand up to rub through the tension in his expression. “It’s stupid. Just… a nightmare.” His voice dropped even quieter, as though saying it out loud might summon it again. “You were gone. They took you.”

Josh’s frown deepened but he didn’t pull away. He leaned in again, starting a series of kisses along Tyler’s neck, soft and comforting. “Well,” he said between presses. “They didn’t. I’m right here.”

In a way, the closeness, the feeling of Josh on his skin, the warmth of him, was enough to calm some of the nervousness. Still, he couldn’t fully shake it.

Josh shifted, climbing over him and finally blocking Tyler’s view on the ceiling. There it was, that sleepy squint of his eyes, the half crooked morning smile that Tyler loved. Suddenly, the world didn’t seem so suffocating. Ironic, with the weight of Josh now pressing down on him.

“You’re shaking,” Josh murmured, hands moving along the curve of his waist before he leaned in, pressing his lips to Tyler’s. “Shh…” he pulled away. “I’m here.”

“I just…” Tyler trailed off, searching for words and finding none. “It felt real.”

Josh leaned in, teeth running along his jawline, kissing and nipping like he could push the nightmare back by sheer force. “Then let me make the morning feel more real.”

Before Tyler could respond, Josh’s mouth was on him, slow and unhurried, as though Josh had all the time in the world to coax him back into reality, back into the safety and comfort of their little bubble.

And Tyler felt it. The loosening of that knot in his stomach, replaced by a feeling that was warmer, fuller. “Josh…”

“Shh,” Josh kissed the words away. One hand slid from Tyler’s waist to his jaw, tilting his face just enough to deepen the kiss, his other hand curling at Tyler’s hip.

When Josh finally did pull back, he stayed a whisper away. “See?” He murmured. “Still here. Still yours.”

Tyler exhaled slowly, the warmth of the words blooming in his chest. He didn’t say anything, but when Josh leaned in again, Tyler met him halfway, looping his arms around his neck and pulling him closer until there was no space between them anymore.

Josh pulled back just enough to speak, his voice husky and threaded with promise. “Still think this is a dream?”

Tyler gave a faint, shaky laugh, but it was cut short when Josh’s hands slid under the hem of his shirt, palms warm against his stomach. The touch made his breath hitch, his body leaning instinctively into it.

“No?” Josh prompted, thumbs drawing lazy circles over bare skin, his gaze never leaving Tyler’s face. “Because I’m not stopping until you know for sure.”

Tyler swallowed, heat rising up his neck. “I guess… I could use some more convincing,” He mumbled, though the smile that finally cracked on his expression was genuine.

Josh nodded dutifully, his hands smoothing higher, over the steady rise and fall of Tyler’s chest, before he tugged the shirt off over his head in one motion. When he leaned back down, he planted his lips against Tyler’s skin, kissing and nipping his way down over the curve of his ribs, his hands pinning Tyler’s hips in place.

Tyler’s fingers flexed against the sheets as Josh’s mouth traced an agonising path lower. The warmth of each kiss lingered, a steady, burning contrast to the cool air of the room. 

Josh glanced up, catching the way Tyler’s mouth parted, the faint flush climbing over his cheeks. “Still with me?” He asked against skin, voice low and teasing.

Tyler didn’t get flustered easily during sex - at least not since the first time they had been intimate - but then again, usually he was the one guiding. Josh’s lack of experience meant that he listened, and let himself be told what to do. But this time-

Tyler gasped, so caught up in his own thoughts he hadn’t noticed Josh’s movements until he felt the wet kiss to his navel, right above the line of his boxers.

“Tyler…?” Josh prompted again, eyes flicking up to meet him.

Tyler managed a nod, though his heartbeat felt loud in his ears. “Yeah… yeah, I’m here.”

Josh smiled against him, just for a moment, before his teeth nipped at skin again, just above the dip of his hip. That drew a whine from Tyler, hand moving to drape over his face in an effort to hide how red he was.

What was wrong with him? He could barely form words, barely will his mouth to move. Usually, the situation would be flipped. But now Josh was watching him, his gaze boring into him, so full and dark of an emotion Tyler was having a hard time identifying, but knew all too well. It muddied his thoughts, his hands trembling.

Then, Josh stopped his movements, leaning his cheek against Tyler’s thigh. Through the gap under his hand, Tyler could see him. Expression warm, cheeks flushed, staring at him like he never wanted to look away. Like he had never seen anyone more beautiful.

“You’re real,” Josh said softly, but he sounded like he was talking more to himself. “You’re right here. And I’m here with you.”

Tyler’s chest tightened at the words. He reached down, threading his hand through Josh’s hair. Not to guide him anywhere, but to keep him close. “I know,” was all he managed back.

Josh tilted his head to place another slow, open mouthed kiss on his thigh, his hands moving to push them apart. “Let me remind you anyway,” He murmured, each word pulling Tyler further from the shadow of the dream and deeper into the reality of his touch.

Josh’s fingers lingered at the waistband, like he was giving him every chance to tell him he didn’t want to. Tyler only met him and gave the smallest nod.

The fabric was eased down in deliberate movements, Josh’s gaze locked entirely on Tyler’s face as if each second of this, of the slow unwrapping, was a gift to be savoured. He didn’t rush, the faint touch making Tyler’s skin tingle in awareness.

“I promise,” Josh whispered, so close Tyler could feel it. “I’ll always keep you safe.”

When there was nothing left between them, Josh didn’t touch him right away. He just… looked. His gaze roamed slowly, like he was memorising the view. “You’re so-” he stopped, shaking his head as if language itself had failed him. “God, Ty. You’re so perfect.”

Before Tyler could even react, before his brain and mouth could form words and tell Josh that actually, in Tyler’s humble opinion, he was the one who was perfect, his breath hitched.

Josh wrapped his fingers around him, light and warm against Tyler’s length. As he stroked, he leaned forward, pressing another kiss to Tyler’s hip, then another just below his stomach, moving in no particular order like he couldn’t decide which part of him deserved his attention first.

“Josh…” Tyler’s voice cracked, the heat of the hand pressed against him, the words and conviction of Josh’s voice, the intent and the meaning behind it all. It was enough to bring tears to his eyes, his chest singing, the tension in his stomach building far faster than it ever had before.

“I’ve got you,” Josh smiled against his skin. Each press felt like a promise - of presence, of protection, of love neither of them had dared to vocalise yet.

Then, Josh’s mouth was on him. Slow at first, like he was savouring him, his lips moving along the side of Tyler’s skin, dragging up and taking in the taste of him for the first time. He hummed deep from his throat before he finally wrapped around the tip.

Tyler’s head tilted back, overwhelmed. Because that was Josh’s mouth. He knew he hadn’t done this for anyone before, knew Josh was probably overthinking and second guessing, unsure of what to do. But he was still trying, still willing to do it, for Tyler.

The thought was enough to crack an emotion open in him, a moan escaping Tyler, and before he could stop himself, his hips twitched, chasing the warmth. “Josh-”

Tyler could feel him smile, feel him open up wider, sliding down over him like it was nothing, like it was his pleasure to draw those sounds from him. Once he adjusted, he set a slow pace, dragging up long and unhurried, his tongue working.

It was almost too much. Josh wasn’t even going fast, wasn’t even putting as much weight and pressure into it as he could have, but it was enough just knowing it was Josh.

Tyler gasped again when another long trail of Josh’s tongue sent a shiver down his spine, heat pooling fast and quick in his stomach. He knew Josh could probably feel every twitch of his thighs, feel every small jerk of his hips, and without waiting too much longer, he lifted his hand to Tyler’s mouth, attention locked on him in a silent command.

Without hesitating, Tyler took the fingers past his lips, tongue running over them with quick swipes, coating them in spit. When they felt slick enough, Josh removed them, pulling off before he wrapped his hand around him and continued his strokes.

Then Josh’s hand drifted down, circling until he pressed in. The movement was unhurried, coaxing rather than demanding, and Tyler’s hips gave a small, instinctive roll toward him before he could stop himself.

Josh’s mouth curved, not in mockery, but in appreciation. His gaze fixed, mesmerised by every flicker of reaction that crossed Tyler’s face. “Easy.” he murmured, the rhythm of his fingers patient. Each push and curl felt purposeful, as if he was learning him all over again, committing every sound and shift to memory. 

A tremor worked through Tyler. His voice broke into a plea, raw with need. “Josh, please-” 

“Shh,” Josh leaned in, tongue sweeping at the precum on Tyler’s tip, hands never slowing. Then, with that same adoring look, Josh hummed. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,” He began, humming with a tone deeper than affection. “You are perfect.”

The words hit harder than expected, Tyler’s lungs burning with a breath he forgot to take. His moan came out low and shaky, spilling into the quiet like he couldn’t contain it. He didn’t want to anyway.

Josh’s gaze held him there, weighted with want and reverence, and the combination was overwhelming. His touch was careful, attentive, like he was handling something irreplaceable.

Tyler felt it crash into him all at once - the devotion of his words, the heat of his attention, the unwavering steadiness of his hands - it was too much. His vision blurred as tears pooled, warm and unbidden, spilling over before he could stop them. Every nerve in his body hummed with that impossible mix of pleasure and tenderness, leaving him open and thoroughly undone in Josh’s hands.

When Josh noticed the shimmer in Tyler’s eyes, his expression softened. He eased his hands away before shifting his position. The sound of fabric shuffling filled the space as he pushed his boxers down just far enough to free himself. Then, he grabbed the bottle of lube from the nightstand, slicked his hand again and ran it over himself with practiced motion.

The first press into him was gentle, maddening in its slowness. Every inch was careful, every shift of Josh’s hips a silent plea for Tyler to feel all of him.

Every push was paired with a kiss. One to his cheek, another to his temple, then finally to his lips. Tyler’s tears kept falling, hot against his skin. It wasn’t from pain, but from a feeling that ran deeper, like it might split him open from the inside. He had never been touched like this, never been seen like this.

A groan left Josh’s throat, his voice thick with both need and awe. Tyler could feel it vibrating through him. The way he clenched around Josh, the way his tears dampened Josh’s skin. It was all too perfect. Josh was drunk on it.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against Tyler’s cheek, brushing the damp skin before kissing it softly. His hands slid down, fingers curling beneath Tyler’s thighs to lift and spread them wider, opening him further. His pace quickened.  “So perfect for me, Tyler.” Josh murmured, reverent, as if the words themselves were worship.

The sound that tore from Tyler’s throat was shaky and broken. The shift in angle stole the rest of his breath, deeper, fuller, sending heat flooding through him in dizzying waves.

Josh’s voice was low, steady, even as his grip on Tyler’s thighs tightened. “I want you to feel how much I need you, Tyler.” His attention didn’t stray, holding Tyler in place as if the words themselves demanded it. “How much I love every part of you.”

Tyler’s chest constricted. The words hit harder than the thrusts, harder than the heat curling tight in his stomach. His lips parted as his eyes locked on Josh’s, wide and searching.

And still, Josh didn’t falter, his pace was unshaken, confident in a way that made it impossible to look away.

Did he mean it? Tyler couldn’t tell. Couldn’t know if those words were deliberate, carved from truth, or if they’d slipped free in the haze of the moment. But the way Josh looked at him made it feel real.

Tyler didn’t get the chance to process it. Josh’s hand was on him again, a grip around his length that was both sure and unyielding. The touch was perfect, precisely timed with each thrust, pulling sharp, shuddering breaths from Tyler’s lungs.

“Josh-!” He cried, pulling him in so they were chest to chest, sweat slick and heaving. Tyler could feel it, feel his release rapidly approaching. The praise, the pace, the practiced ease of Josh’s words sent a dizzying wave of affection through his chest and before he could stop himself-

“I-I love you,” Tyler gasped, the words breaking free, spilling hot against Josh’s ear. His arms locked tighter around him, holding on like he might disappear, nails digging into his back hard enough to leave marks.

Josh’s body went tense, his rhythm stuttering for the briefest moment before a low, guttural groan rumbled out of him. Then his pace surged again, deeper, like the confession had lit an urgency in him. “S-Say it again,”

“God, I love you, Josh,” Tyler breathed, the words trembling but certain.

Josh’s mouth traced a path through Tyler’s hair, down the salt slick curve of his cheek, before finding his lips. He kissed him like it was the only place left to go. “Fuck-” he whispered between each press of his mouth. “I love you.”

Their mouths crashed together, desperate, slow and deep. Tyler could only cling tighter, his body quivering as he let himself be entirely consumed by Josh’s devotion. Each word, each thrust, drove him further into abandon, into a release not just physical, but of everything he’d been questioning. It all melted away beneath the weight of Josh’s worship, of his praise, and Tyler let it.

It only took a few more desperate thrusts before Tyler broke, a gasp tearing from his throat as his whole body arched. He came hard, warmth spilling between them, Josh’s name falling out in a shuddering cry.

Josh followed almost instantly, his forehead pressing to Tyler’s as his hips gave two, maybe three more unsteady pushes before stilling. His breath caught, a low groan escaping as he released deep inside, the heat and closeness drawing out every last tremor between them.

When the shivers eased, Josh collapsed against Tyler, limbs tangled and heavy. The heat of their bodies mingled with the morning air, but neither seemed to notice or care.

Josh’s arms stayed tight around him, fingers brushing over his sides with gentle lingering strokes. “I meant it,” he murmured softly.

Tyler hummed in response, still half dazed and riding his high. “Hm?”

“Everything,” Josh said, shifting his weight up to look at him, forehead slick with sweat. “Everything I said, I meant it.”

Tyler’s chest tightened again, searching the lines of his face, his intention. The dip in Josh’s brow was serious, but when he noticed the look on Tyler’s face, it softened.

“Hey,” He leaned in, pressing his lips softly against Tyler’s cheek. “I just wanted you to know. It wasn’t some sex-crazed haze. I meant every word.”

There it was again. The familiar lump in his throat.  It was unfair, really, how easily Josh seemed to be able to get a reaction like this out of Tyler. He swallowed, voice cracking when he tried to speak. “I-” he stopped again, clearing his throat in frustration.

But Josh just waited. He was so patient. Fuck- even that was enough to overwhelm Tyler. He swallowed again, trying his best. “I- me too. I-I meant what I said.”

A long silence stretched, but it was anything but awkward. It held the kind of tenderness reserved only for moments like this - moments that were gentle and sacred.

“I love you, Josh.”

He said it again, and the feeling settled in him this time, warm and bubbling in his chest. It almost made Tyler feel giddy. He felt himself break into a smile, one or two stray tears spilling before he could stop them.

God. Josh must think you look like such an idiot, crying now. Crying during sex. What’s wrong with y-

“I love you too, Tyler.”

The reply wasn’t judgemental. It wasn’t disgusted or freaked out. It was just Josh, still as caring and gentle as ever.

He leaned in, smiling, looking almost as giddy as Tyler felt before he bumped their foreheads together. “And I’m going to assume those are tears of joy.”

That earned him a laugh, loud and unrestrained before Tyler pulled him in again, mouths locking like they were made for each other.