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Chapter Text

After taking the position of Hokage, he was able to excavate the remains of what were ancient clans from the era of the warring clans. Seals of all kinds for everything. He was looking for a specific one and found it. Easy and quick without thinking, a couple of hand seals and he'd say goodbye.

This had to be cruel, but it didn't matter. He had Hinata by his side, happy he was early, a 12-year-old boy with a furrowed brow, and a girl asleep in her room; they no longer mattered 

He opened the paper, bit his finger, and before Hinata and Boruto's horrified faces, he disappeared 

Seeing the moldy ceiling and smelling the mushrooms was heaven

Alone again, his brain felt a little dizzy, but it would pass; Kurama was still there somewhere. Asleep, alone. It was so good

He started to laugh

 laugh

And laugh. 

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Well, his chakra was normal. The house was a little dirty, and the ambus outside were standing there quietly, not expecting much. Everything felt like a kind of euphoria. No phones, no tablets, no video games, no idols, no paperwork. Pure shinobi life.

It was a kind of strange madness, this thing, suddenly facing your entire life at the exact moment, the best moment.

He went outside to play like a child, sat on a swing, rocked a little, and then said to hell with it and went to a store where he knew they were going to treat him badly. Everything was going too fast when, as soon as the salesperson saw him looking bad, he said, "If you keep looking at me like that, I'll kill you." It was pure euphoria.

Who would have thought that with a little chakra coming out of his body he could make a civilian tremble so much with fear. The world at his feet.

He liked it, he liked it too much.

 ●□●□●□●

Something he also really liked was that black-haired boy on the swings, hugging himself while his mother watched him sideways from a distance on one of the benches.

Even though he crawled through heaven, earth, and water for him, he did his duty as a man, ignoring his impulses. Crawling to make him stay wasn't enough, and he knew it, much less since he'd never kissed him or anything like that to hold him close (well, yes, three times), that was going to change.

He couldn't prevent the death of his parents or anything like that, but he could make him hold on now that he had the chance.

With slow steps, he went and sat in front of him.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I really like you!" Screaming like a child wasn't the best idea, or maybe it was. He only knew that Sasuke stood in front of him and let him play with him. It was easy, very easy. Mikoto watched them from afar, allowing it with a smile.

Sasuke had the delicacy and motor skills of a drug addict after a beating, but he was his Sasuke, his.

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Boys go with girls and girls with boys. That's what he'd been taught, and he believed it well into adulthood, when, at 25 or 30, the world changed for the better. He ignored it at first, until he realized he could do whatever he wanted as an adult and Hokage. He was an idiot; this was a new opportunity.

Pulling that idiot's hair and taking him to Ichiraku was a good decision, a very good one.

Now, as an adult, he could see finances differently. He wouldn't let the rent lady overcharge him, nor would the store owners.

He would live well.

Mikoto was permissive and let Naruto drag Sasuke everywhere. The guilt was clear. Those were the moments when Naruto thanks Kushina for existing.

Making friends, those things that were so easy when they were kids. Playing, eating, preparing for the academy. Itachi hanging around without disturbing anyone. So peaceful. 

Attacking Tobi in the middle with a Rasengan when he wasn't expecting it was easy too. Very easy. War solved, it gave him time to be a normal shinobi kid again.

Then he couldn't hold it in any longer, he kissed him. It was spectacular. That Sasuke couldn't process it was even better.

"Dobe! My mom's close! How embarrassing!"

"It doesn't matter, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto stuck out his tongue and then they laughed. It was very easy, very, very easy, really.

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If you'd asked a 12-year-old Naruto if he wanted to prevent the Uchiha massacre, he would have answered yes.

Only because massacres are bad.

Now he knows better.

Clan problems were always serious and strange things.

Even to marry Hinata, he had to learn a lot of crap! He wasn't going to go through that again.

Sasuke's five and six years were wonderful, both for the "learning" he could receive and for adapting to it.

If his family didn't die, they would fill his head with the idiotic things parents tell children. Like honor and having children and the duty to the clan to bear children. And all those things that wouldn't serve their relationship well. So he let it go.

He let Itachi be a child sacrificed for the good of the village, as it should be.

For Sasuke.

 Only this time there wouldn't be revenge; he wouldn't allow it. After all, the advantage of being an adult was being smarter, and even though his beautiful, sharp shuriken didn't know he'd traveled through time, what he did know was that Naruto was the smart one of the two.

He stayed near the Uchiha compound for a while during the days the tragedy occurred. He visited his friend in the hospital, and as soon as he left, the real plan began—the difficult but easy part at the same time.

Sasuke would be mine forever

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Depression serves others in many ways. He wasn't going to let that box of resentment get stuck in Sasuke's head again. If Naruto could describe it properly, it would be like that childhood movie he took his kids to see once. Like the meerkat and the boar said: Hakuna Matata.
He would teach that to Sasuke.

He thought for a moment about when to start contacting him directly. It would be too early if he was going to visit him in the hospital, it would be too late if it was days after he started school. First thing in the morning, as they were walking in the door, would be a good time.

And he did.

"Hello, Teme!" Tactless, perfect. "Something really bad happened to you..." A kicked-dog face, perfect. "But I want you to know that we'll always be there for you..." An idea of ​​community. Shikamaru, Choji, and Kiba were his friends. But he could play it off with Sasuke, "me, especially" Favoritism.

He hugged him and Sasuke cried. He needed him, so much he needed him.

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Sasuke had always been a closed-off boy, raised in a community that suddenly disappeared. That was one of the things Naruto failed to notice as a child and couldn't use to his advantage.

Sasuke was raised to be closed-off; clans do that to keep their children from leaving. It was the same as an adult. The idea that "the only friends you need are your family and/or certain people you decided to include in your family" only worked in the era of warring clans, but not in the current era.

Opening Sasuke up socially was paramount.

He sat next to him on the first day of school after the massacre. He did his homework in silence and gave him silly smiles. He had to say something right now, acid or not, he had to.

"You know, if you need to leave all that behind, you can come to my house, you know? Dattebayo!" It didn't work. Plan B. "I'm not saying this out of pity! I really like you, it's just... I don't think it's a good thing to have it all be about that. We can put it behind us!"

"How... how dare you!?" God bless Professor Mizuki for not giving a shit if kids fight in class.

Naruto wore that sad childish face.

"I know what happened. I heard you in the hospital..." He looked at the floor while lying. "You were screaming while you were sleeping, and guess what? Ignore him. It's obvious he wants you to kill him. Don't do what he ordered."

Oh, he open his eyes "w- what?"

"Wait, didn't you realize he wants you to kill him? It's pretty obvious, that's why he asked you, not? He wants to die like in those silly stories that sensei's make us read, the big bad evil villain and all of' that. A great display of ego, i think. He wants to make you the hero of a great story to feel important himself.  If he asks you, don't do it, you're just pleasing him"

"I- I've never seen it like that" the psychosis attack in a 7 year old boy is quite spectacular to see.

"Just think about that and you'll see, I'm right, dattebayo!"

"Yes... yes, I think you're right" Sasuke biting his own cheek and squeezing the pen until it bled was also a great spectacle to see.

everything according to the plan.

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His house was a mess, and he acknowledged it. The problem was that he no longer had Hinata to ignore the mess and let it sort itself out (he did the same thing with his children. It's a shame he only recently realized that if he wanted something done right, he had to do it himself).

Another problem was that he no longer remembered what it was like to live without alcohol.

Before, if he didn't want to endure domestic life, he could just say that Kiba or Shikamaru had invited him to drink. The polite person he was (he wasn't) couldn't say no. It was just manners.

Now, if he had to do something, he had to do it alone. After all, the shadow clones were his self too, but projected in a different way, so that all the mess his clones made went to him, in the end.

Going to the store was a disaster; it wasn't like there were any fanatics or anything, just hatred.

 "Come on! If you even dare to touch me, I'll kill you all! Just leave me alone! Believe it!"

God, doing that in every store would be a disaster, but it worked. It scared the civilians.

They let him shop in peace. Getting home was weird too. The place was so small and quiet, but soon it won't be that way.

"Multi-shadow clone jutsu!" Let the ambus outside rub his dick, it didn't matter if they saw him; it was just a normal technique for an Academy kid.

Removing the mold from the walls, cleaning, stripping the paint off the ceiling to replace it, washing the dishes, mopping the floor, opening the windows, rearranging the furniture so he could clean...

All very difficult for his stupid 8-year-old body. This is hell.

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"Hey, Sasuke-teme! If you don't let me into your house so I can take you out to play, I'll steal your lunch at the Academy!" God, he was rude, but he was a kid, and that's how kids behave.

Sasuke slowly opened the door.

"Hey! Are you going to lie there all day in your misery, beating yourself up, or are you going to go outside and try to be a kid again?!"

The confusion in Sasuke's eyes at the long, very adult words Naruto used was priceless.

"Sounds good to me." Sasuke smiled. Well, a full smile is a piece of cake, and what Sasuke shows is the icing left on the napkin. At least his eyes shine brighter.

Dragging him by the arm so I could take him to a playground with Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji, and the other kids wasn't that difficult. (The hard part was making a name for himself among the kids so he wouldn't be a bully again.)
He hugged Sasuke and introduced him.

"He's my boyfriend!" The raised eyebrows and disbelief on certain faces would become memes in the future, small moments where he missed smartphones.

"What a drag?" Shikamaru was lying on the floor, contemplating the situation. If Naruto explains himself, will this be better or worse? He wondered. "Let's see you, the dumb face, explain yourself."

"Uh... I kissed him on the mouth! And he hugged him a lot! And I'm always with him! So I guess we're dating, right?" Naruto said.
Sasuke was trying not to blush from embarrassment.

"Um, that explains it, let's continue." Faking dementia was the best way to do it.

The kids on the playground understood the vibe Shikamaru was trying to give off and continued playing as if nothing had happened.

"Hey Choji, can boys date other boys?" You fucking dog kid, don't break the peace I created.
"Um... one of my uncles has been living with an ugly shinobi for five years," he gestures with his hands, and Kiba gestures too. "Yeah, that one, the one who Dad says not to mention and he lives in a little house way back in the Akimichi compound."

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Throwing a kunai, instinct first, thought later. It was quick.

"Good thing he was a shadow clone. Don't get carried away, I'm one too."

Greenish eyes, red hair, 30 or even 40 years old, a highly experienced shinobi.

"I just came to congratulate you, kid. By doing that whole act with the Uchiha clan, you gave me a great opportunity."

He knows things, not a lot, but he does know.

"You know? Eight-year-olds are an easy target to manipulate."

He stood still.

"Perfect for a pervert of my strain, my kind." That damn-

"It's delicious, without parents or serious caregivers."

"What have you done to him, damn it!"

"Nothing yet, and save that aggression, I'm just a clone," the wretch said, smiling.

 "I'll just tell you, your brother very quickly let me kiss him. Can you imagine when I'm 12, the legal age to be a shinobi?" The cards were on the table.

"I'll find you, damn it!"

"I'm a clone, and this isn't even my real appearance. Do you think I'm that stupid?" That son of a bitch said with an air of superiority.

"Get away from him."

"Or else what?"

The clone left in a puff of smoke.

When Itachi returned to the village, Sarutobi and Danzo were already dead. There was no other choice.

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Ruining things was Naruto's favorite sport, and ruining Sasuke's notes was part of that.

As much as he loved him, he still held a little bit of hatred for him. So boastful.

I couldn't let him have that ego again.

"Sasuke! You're writing wrong again!" God bless Mizuki for holding such a grudge against everyone, not just him.
"Correct it and bring it back tomorrow!" The sensei threw the paper in Sasuke's face.

It was just a small genjutsu, one he wouldn't be able to use once Sasuke acquired the Sharingan. The world in Sasuke's eyes was 4 centimeters to the left and 5 degrees to the side every time he wrote. Not enough to really hurt him, but enough to make him write in the air outside the paper and horribly over the lines like a dyslexic child.

Naruto handed in his homework along with Kiba's, Choji's, Ino's, and Shikamaru's. He knew that if he brought the group's homework, the teacher couldn't deny him the papers.

He left them on the table and, with the sound of the bell, sat down next to Uchiha.

"Calm down! You're not stupid! You're just a little slow. I used to be too," Naruto said, smiling, putting his arm around Naruto's shoulders.

The next class for Sasuke, the teacher was completely silent. The same with other teachers. He started failing tests even though he concentrated as hard as he could.

Naruto smiled in glee; Sasuke couldn't even begin to understand the use of genjutsus.

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Being naked in the Uchiha compound's baths was completely strange for Naruto, completely awkward.
Throwing buckets and sitting in the hot water was a completely different feeling than doing it in a normal bathhouse as an adult shinobi with his team.
The house didn't welcome him, but what did it matter how the old ghosts saw him?

"Does that sound okay to you?"

"I love this place!" He threw some water on it, and Sasuke smiled.
He smiled.

"I saw it." His hairless body sat down on the wood carefully, wetting his feet, smiling. His cheeks flushed.
Naruto would wait expectantly for puberty.

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Naruto completely enjoyed Sasuke with his mouth.

Kissing those lips was heaven at the very least, completely drugged without having consumed anything. He stuck his tongue everywhere to enjoy himself, completely high.

His arms hugged Sasuke's body tightly as he kissed him, sweet, so sweetly.

They fell onto the bed, and Sasuke, his face red, began to laugh with happiness.

Naruto was dying of sexual frustration. He hadn't had sex in a lifetime, literally.

And masturbating wasn't the same.

But he couldn't, not yet. Sasuke was completely ready in bed, but he was still 9, almost 10. Only about 2 more years and he could...

No way, there's no point in thinking about that now. He bit the pillow and screamed in frustration, Sasuke laughed. He was happy.

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These two years were chaotic.

In his last year at the academy, the girls started to notice Sasuke, and Naruto had to obstruct him as much as he could. He also had to keep him away.

A basic sound-canceling jutsu made it so Sasuke couldn't hear what the girls were saying. As far as he was concerned, they were probably making fun of him with some kind of weird sign language like they used to do with Naruto. Most of the time, it was that sign language.

Decoding him so he'd lose all his manners was also difficult, but it more or less worked. It got him to pick his nose in public.

The chess game was getting more and more difficult with the girls in the middle, and he had to act.

The kiss on the last day of school in his other life wasn't enough; this had to be obvious and loud from the beginning or middle of the year.

 The genjutsu he used on Sasuke to keep him from hearing the girls or the teacher wouldn't be enough. He had to act.

If Shikamaru were paid one ryo for every time he saw Naruto in a homosexual situation with that boy Sasuke (yes, homosexual, he already knew that word), he could buy himself a cup of instant ramen.

It wasn't much, but it was more than his fingers and toes combined.

Every word between the lines, every "weird" touch between them, every time he saw them in the distance somewhere. Everything bordered on homosexual.

Then the confirmation came: Naruto kissed Sasuke. On the mouth, with tongue.

It wasn't a mistake, it wasn't just a close brush of faces, it was a full-blown wet kiss with tongue.

And Sasuke let it happen with his eyes closed, amidst all the female gasps and screams.

 He wasn't understanding much. Maybe Naruto had lost all his shame, but he let them do it. There was nothing stopping them. He let Naruto kiss him well, like at home, willingly. He put his hands around Naruto's waist and kissed him hard, feeling drunk with pleasure with so much silence around him.

With his cheeks flushed, he kissed Naruto a few more times, and then they sat down in their chairs as they should.

His cheeks were flushed and he was smiling. He felt like some people were looking at him but not saying anything. Everything was better. It felt like sending the message that they could finally love each other in public, or at least that's what Naruto decided.

The whole room was a mess, and he was grateful for his genjutsu skills to make Sasuke deaf to everything and everyone. Sasuke's idiotic eyes were out of focus as he smile.

 "Naruto! How dare you! I supposed to be Sasuke's first kiss!" Ah, Sakura, he never changes.

Naruto looked at the angry mob of girls, then at Sasuke, then at the mob, and kissed Sasuke again, and ran. He jumped out the window. The girls went to lynch him.

Sasuke smiled like an idiot, even under genjutsu.

Without see it.

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Kissing Sasuke in the middle of class became normal by the third day. The others glared at him, but they weren't important, just ninjas who would die in the chunin exam in the future.

Sasuke let himself be kissed and sometimes initiated it. What did whispers and homophobic insults matter if he was a grown man and Sasuke was practically deaf?

"Hey, that couple of fucking faggots back there, please keep your distance." Graduation would be in a few days, and that idiot Mizuki would get what he deserved. "Today we're going to test what we learned with the Multiple Shadow Clone Technique." Thank god Iruka had already gotten his bearings.

 Naruto did three (very few in his opinion). "Sasuke! Didn't you hear? Get in line." Iruka tried not to be harsh, but with such a lazy student (deaf and blind when Naruto needed him), he couldn't. Naruto removed the genjutsu.

"Huh? You talked to me, Professor Mizuki?" It was always fun to see Sasuke like that.

"Iruka, Sasuke, Iruka," the teacher corrected .

"It's the same, I don't see u two as different." 

Iruka are disappointed. Sasuke got in line and, without asking, copied what the others were doing. His clone fell to the floor and vanished.

"You have wasted potential." Oh, Iruka, if only you knew. "You don't explain well!" Excuses; Iruka was used to it.

"Uchiha and Naruto, you two stay after class," Iruka said.

"What's up, sensei! Dattebayo!" Being noisy was being camouflaged. Naruto deactivated the genjutsu on Sasuke.

"I wanted to talk to you about your relationship. It's no secret that you two have been very affectionate with each other, to put it into words," the older man explained.

"What? Is something wrong?" Watching Sasuke pick his nose was worth gold. Everything about Sasuke did it.

"No... just..." Iruka would always be a father. "You have to be careful. You're young, and the world is dangerous out there. It's even more so when you decide to love someone society believes you shouldn't. I just hope you understand that."

"We know, sensei! Believe it!" Naruto said. "But I have a dream! I will make the shinobi world a safe place for us! And for all those who love us as much as we do! Believe it!"

Iruka smiled.

He couldn't leave the genjutsu activated on Sasuke so far away, so his little love would have to experience the real world for at least an afternoon.

 Falling for Mizuki's manipulation, reading the scroll, and boom! Thousands of leftover clones!

Only this time he didn't let Mizuki live. Today he attacked to kill.

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Coming back from school was weird; Naruto wasn't there to accompany him! They were supposed to arrive. Naruto would explain the jutsu the useless teachers didn't teach him, and he'd barely pass the make-up exam, as always.

Walking, he heard murmurs. For the first time, those idiots deigned to go beyond just shooting glances and making strange mouth movements to communicate. He paid attention.

"It's not like he's reacting; he's a fucking faggot, Uchiha."
"His father was very dear to me. I knew him personally when he was alive. Fugaku would be disappointed."
"Remember the old teachings, what the grandparents used to say: Uchihas are so crazy."
"He'll get over it. In years, he'll probably be trying to see the girls in the hot springs."
"The fox is a demon, that's probably why. He has it under his control." Sometimes he heard people call Naruto a fox; he knew who they meant.

 "WILL YOU SHUT UP!?" He yelled at them with two tomoes in his eyes.

He held back his instinct to attack.

He exhaled and walked home.

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"And Team 7 will be Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura." Naruto couldn't stand this world now; he'd have to keep Sasuke out of the genjutsu.

"Oh, teacher! You can't do this to me! That big forehead keeps glaring at me all the time." Well, at least Sasuke was totally disconnected from reality even without the genjutsu.

Sakura was still in love with him, but she glared at Naruto.

"Sasuke, you have no right to complain! You got the worst GPA, and Naruto and Sakura got the best. Now meet up with your sensei there." Ah, old Iruka was still the same no matter what the hell happened.

Fine, they were going to stay in this room until Kakashi-sensei deigned to show up. Naruto sat down with Sasuke and smiled at him.

 "Hey, I think I know something about this sensei! Believe it! The ambus who hang around my house tend to talk about him." She laughed a little and gave Sasuke a couple of kisses. Sakura stared, stunned with disgust. Sasuke's eyes were closed.

They opened the door and froze. "Couple... a jealous one... My first impression of y'all: you're idiots."

Chapter Text

"I know you, sensei! He's the one from the bingo book! The little girls murder!" Naruto jokes, and Sakura smacks him on the head.

Kakashi tried to completely ignore that part.

"I think we should start introducing ourselves-" As soon as Kakashi said that, Naruto started talking.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I'm 12 years old. My favorite food is ramen, and my favorite hobby is trying every kind of ramen possible. My dream is to have my own peace and live a long life with Sasuke."

Sasuke had been prepared for this moment with Naruto's wishes. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate not understanding most things. I like Naruto, and I have no dreams for the future. So, all I'll do is follow Naruto wherever he goes." His face was resting on Naruto's shoulder.

 Sakura jumped at his incoherence. After all, Naruto hadn't prepared her for any of this, nor had he paid much attention to her. The blue lines on the side of his head were noticeable.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. The things I like have owners, unfortunately. And my dream is for a certain someone to get better and become a normal man soon." Well, Naruto would have to work on that homophobia.

Sasuke was ignoring everything she said.

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Kissing Sasuke, keeping him in a genjutsu, taking on easy missions, kissing Sasuke more, ignoring Sakura, starting the steps toward puberty—everything was going perfectly in the Leaf Village.

Kakashi remained untouched by the years and time, a zero.

Sasuke lived well. He didn't remember most things well, as always, because he was "very distracted from the world" and very "in his own head." But he knew the important thing: his brother didn't matter, and he wasn't going to give him the importance he wanted. He lived like a quiet genin and had a wonderful boy by his side. His life was full.

He didn't even know why Naruto bothered.

He was always the best at everything, knew everything, excelled at everything, and was the best for everyone. She didn't understand what he wanted to do with the boy "weaker than Shikamaru."

Sakura didn't understand anything, and that confused her. Sasuke was a cool and mysterious boy, and halfway through senior year, that idiot Naruto started grabbing him and teasing him with kisses and touches all the time.

The faggot surely infected Sasuke, or maybe the boy is too innocent and pure to fully understand what Naruto wants to do to him. That's definitely it

Ah, the dobe had been acting weird lately when they were cuddling, and then he talked about how he didn't pay attention when Iruka-sensei explained puberty to him.

What did it matter if he grew hair and girls' asses bled? He just wanted to sleep in his arms, but he had been acting weird.

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Naruto looked at the Konoha exit with a big smile. Today would be a great day. Sakura was there, not being too annoying, and she released Sasuke from the genjutsu. The day was sunny, and Sasuke was smiling! She even let him walk with him hand in hand in public!

The Sasuke of his future (or past?) would never have let him do that.

Halfway through, he simply cast a multi-shadow clone jutsu, with hundreds of clones as soon as he stepped into that puddle of water.

"And how does Tenten do it! Random things! Dattebayo!" And luckily they got it right.
"Look, Kakashi-sensei!" A water clone.

Damn it, Naruto, between gods and nonexistent beings outside of rational thought, had forgotten how those below fought, those who relied on their brains like Shikamaru to survive and not brute force.
"Hidden in the fog jutsu!"

He felt the chakra, and he and his clones felt more kunai.
"Huh? I got him this time!" Just a couple of shurikens. He wasn't taking it seriously.

"Jutsu-!" God, Naruto had forgotten they were there too. Kakashi Sensei was going to ruin it.

Haku didn't let him finish; he was going to take the "corpse."

Naruto did what any inexperienced genin would do in this situation: attack again. He didn't let Haku get close enough, even if it came across as a fake peace offering.

He cut off Zabuza's head with Haku from a few feet away.

And his clones grabbed the girl (boy? He still didn't understand) and stabbed her in the neck as well.

Sakura, the builder, and Sasuke were shocked. Kakashi watched the scene with false amusement, but still calculating what was happening.

"Did I do well, sensei?!"
Naruto smiled like a ray of sunshine

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Upon arriving at the village, Naruto saw Gato's thugs and did things quickly without thinking again: shadow clones, throat slashing, blah blah blah.

Normal people and their stupid problem

"Your village should have his own ninjas!" He yelled and left. 

Sasuke was acting weird on his way back, he should investigate 

Chapter Text

"Let me get this straight, Kakashi."

"During the mission, one of your genin not only managed to kill two S-ranks, but also take out the entire adult population between the ages of 15 and 40 in that area?"

Kakashi stared at Tsunade's sake bottle.

"Yeah..."

"Well, this'll beeeee a mess for the paperwork."

The air changed.

"I'll just put that you killed them. I don't want a scandal, you know? After all, Naruto is a state secret and all that. It wouldn't be the first time we covered up a massacre."

Kakashi's eye twitched.

"Terrible grades, no interest in paying attention to the teacher even if he's yelling in his face..." sHe was reviewing his students' academic records.

"Kakashi, the academy teachers don't just write these reports, they also make oral reports when necessary, on topics that can't be written down on paper." She took another sip. "And love is love." Kakashi took a deep breath.

"Civilians may have many opinions, but in the shinobi world, it means nothing. One day, a spy can be in the bed of half a foreign palace, and the only thing that ultimately matters to the team and the papers is that she did what she had to do. We're not like them." She put the papers down with a sloppy gesture. "Being surrounded by civilians and genin is taking its toll on you. There's nothing to protect in the great secret of two genin playing with their kunai. Civilians can say whatever they want, but nothing is illegal, and they're facing ninjas they can't even touch with a stick."

Kakashi is relaxed again.

"What I wanted to tell you is that the Uchiha is a complete disaster, and losing his kekei genkai would be a political disaster." He put his papers in order. "One of Konoha's original clauses was that any clan that wanted to set foot here had to have at least four heirs in charge to spread their seed around and all that stuff. Now things aren't so complicated if we grab an orphan to give us more weapons. A few surrogate concubines and seed in a jar is enough for Ambu to raise shinobi with fantastic eyes and colored streaks. It wouldn't be the first time in that case either." Tsunade put down the bottle; the unspoken words weren't necessary; Kakashi already understood what she was getting at.

"Old Hiruzen's antics cost us dearly, and now we have to rebuild this poker game with wet, lost, and smudged cards. Just look at what I have to do." All the paperwork on the table wasn't a game. "Just keep them alive. As long as the boy doesn't rebel by escaping the village, everything will be fine."

Sasuke was acting strange, stranger than usual for Naruto. He seemed inhibited and spoke little, which was odd for the personality Naruto had built for him.

"You know, u had something!" Naruto says. "I just wasn't thinking. Neither were my clones, believe it! Dattebayo!" There was a silence, and they walked uncomfortably through the red-light district. By this point, Sasuke should have left for the side of the town where his house was, but no.

"This is where I was raised, for as long as I can remember. Most of the time I didn't know any better and most of the time I still haven't learned any better, which is why I'm sometimes dirty, disgusting, or even downright unpleasant. I've done what I was taught as a shinobi and as a kid from the red light district to do, attack without asking and kill afterward without much thought in the end. And now I face a hundred different realities with kids who were raised civilians and call you crazy at the sight of a little blood or with spoiled kids from clans and aristocrats who see you as uncivilized when you eat ramen in tasteless ways. None of that is my reality and I understand it, I tried to fight it for years and it didn't work" vague memories of boruto and hinata "but in the end I am what I am. An eternal red light district kid who is no good for the civil-style domestic life. That thing about house, 9-5, kids and a wife, is not for me. The action and the wild calls me, Sasuke, that's why I'm a shinobi. I'm not made for a comfortable shared mattress, but for sleeping in the mud of the forest among the grass to avoid being seen. The adrenaline rush of jumping between trees and all that jazz. Slitting necks is our job, and we can't have a mental breakdown every time it happens. Just think of it like killing pirates at the end of Peter Pan and moving on without making a mess of it. If you can't handle that, you can't handle being a shinobi, much less handle me."

Sasuke stood with his back to us for a few seconds and then started walking. Naruto sighed.

"He'll be back," and he lit a cigarette.

Chapter Text

Between D-class missions and nonsense, Naruto wrote keywords in a notebook: Chunin Exam, Orochimaru, Akatsuki, Sasuke.

Without Obito involved, Akatsuki was just a group of mercenaries with Itachi in the mix.

The old snake found Obito's naked, eyeless body in front of his lab. He's sure to do something with Hashirama's cells instead of attacking the village.

Zetsu was "pruned" to death.

The exams are easy, but he won't allow any of his teammates to pass the exam; they'd only die the day before the next "serious" mission.

He'll let Itachi's drama pass; it'll be funny.

Sasuke will forgive him quickly; he's not cut out to hate like the old Sasuke was.

There wasn't much to do. Naruto grabbed them both by the neck and started his chatter to convince them to train.

"Hey, you two! In case you didn't know, the chunin exams are happening this year, and the scarecrow is going to try to get us involved! So instead of going home, we're going to train!"

Sakura complained. Sasuke grumbled; it wasn't a big deal.

"And if you don't believe me, look at this!" With a scroll, several more scrolls came out. "Iruka sensei spoke to me and gave me this to train with! If we use it, we'll be better, and there won't be any more cat missions! Really!" Naruto laughed. Iruka left him some basic scrolls, but these were stolen from other places, but normal enough that they wouldn't suspect anything. "This is my solid shadow clone jutsu! You should know! You should!" He laughed. Sasuke and Sakura looked at him like he was crazy, but they started practicing. Kakashi watched them from afar, far away is better.

Chapter Text

Was that in the air? Or maybe the wind today? Sweets next to the bowl of ramen? No, it wasn't that. A boring day.

He should have thought better of it before going to a world without consoles or cell phones, but it wasn't the time to regret it; it was "healthier" and "better."

The old days, as Shikamaru would say, over an open can. Youth and all that garbage.

When did they fall for that? The good old days and all that garbage, when the world was better and children played outside. It was all garbage, complete garbage.

They were old people being old, very old. That explains why most ninjas didn't make it to 30; it was boring and it would rot your brain.

But he had to do something. His body felt more alive, or maybe more rested, or maybe it was the fact that he exercised every day without a sedentary lifestyle or soda.

Or maybe the lack of paperwork, yes, that was it. Poor Tsunade then. At the time, he thought the woman was exaggerating.

She made a couple of clones and started dancing, playing the game, or whatever Boruto's generation used as slang. God, he was old.

The streets glittered in his absence. The red-light district had become a fun drug fest with technology, but that was in the future. Now it was just an abandoned house that drug addicts used in secret, without light or fun, only the smell of urine and hidden dangers in the alleys.

Right now, the chunin exams should be taking place, but without Orochimaru in line, or the Third surrounding things, or any strange tensions orchestrated in the shadows by Obito, the world will have to wait a month or so for the exams that should be NOW.

It was boring when the world didn't fall at their feet. It was so normal and... mundane. Almost unsatisfactory, which is why he divorced Hinata and had a 150-month-late abortion for Boruto.

At least Sasuke wasn't hidden in a dramatic cloak in the shadows, resembling a movie teacher, but in blue clothes with decorative bandages on his arms and legs.

How could he have thought that was cool as a kid? Ah, idiotic fashion, he was thinking like a rotten adult. Or maybe Westernization made him think stereotypical ninja clothing was a bad idea.

He got up, disciplined himself to eat something other than ramen and wear something other than the same five sets of clothes a year (it's much easier to save money these days when you don't think like a 12-year-old on an adult's salary), and brushed his teeth.

He saw one of his first purchases with his ninja salary: the walrus pajamas. Well, they weren't walrus onesies anymore.

After getting rid of Obito, he didn't go shopping for his pajamas that day. After scaring Itachi wasn't easy, and then Kakashi came with silly jutsus and basic training. a cat pajamas.

He looked at the image in his mirror. After wiping the moisture off the wall and floor, he changed everything to white, minimalist garbage.

Sasuke wouldn't wake up until 8:00, it's 6:00. He's so trapped inside himself that training is pointless, and living is useless too. What do people do these days? Yeah, drink.

He went out to the store, bought some beers, and smiled at the cheers! He shouted with the bottle.

When he woke up, he was sleeping with Sasuke next to him, on Tobirama's head, with AMBU surrounding them.

Ah, graffiti, the good life. 

Chapter Text

Deprogramming the world around you to stop being "as it should be" was an exhausting task.

When I was 16 and the world was only divided into "being naughty" or never seeing flesh, your brain's process was simpler. Go to the hot springs, just chillin', and if possible, spy on girls to have the chance to see tits in your life, every chance you get.

"Sex is dirty and girls wouldn't do something that disgusting with you, u dirty disgusting, shit" something like that was the thinking at the time.

After being married and going through the initial foundations of technology and how we adapted to normality ( for not to mention that since Kakashi became Hokage and computers were a thing, porn exploded in the world), sex wasn't the same anymore.

It was really strange, how desensitized he is to "that" and the perspectives of this time.
Life gave way to introspection and critical thinking, more "civilized," so to speak (or perhaps more vulgar? Was shamelessness vulgar or a sign of social advancement? I didn't know).

He can't quite place himself here. Kiba and the others here will do things like catch a girl in a tight dress or try to sneak a peek at someone's cleavage; he's no longer interested. On the same street, he's seen more interesting things than the average cleavage of an average-looking woman. He doesn't identify with it, and he doesn't feel it, because he's no longer a teenager, and he knows it.
But he's not an "adult" of this time either. He's different.

The closest thing anyone could say to this is that look of disdain and exhaustion Shikamaru always had when it came to women. "Boobs, they're not that big deal," he once said.
If Temari had been a man, Shikamaru would have fallen for him. He liked the person, not the superficial body. Those things seem deeper and stranger.
If he could define the attraction he feels for Sasuke, he think it would encapsulate many things, but not just the body.

Sasuke is a concept and a person who encapsulates all the nostalgia for their brighter days when "they" did live and just "existed": real ninja life with missions without paperwork, an ancient clan and all the crap surrounding that, the new century had made the clans feign dementia, less basic clothing choices, when they were actually there, understanding the context instead of being the background adult going "huh?" in the scene.
Thinking through all this shit only happened because Sakura, after a D-class mission, said that boys did disgusting things and shit like that. He really wasn't paying much attention; she was a child to him.

"So?" He blurted out after hearing her grumble.

"You didn't understand anything I said, idiot?"

"Uh... dirty boys. Girls are good because they're disgusted by that act. I got a little lost after that." Naruto pinched his nose, and Sasuke just walked, half deaf.

"God! You just don't understand! Boys are dirty."

"We just enjoy our sexuality freely."
Okay, there was a very quick awkward silence. Not just with the three of them, but also on the street. She said a word with S, E, and X, and that's not supposed to be done.

Sakura looked at him like a madman. Sasuke tried to understand Sakura's silence, but didn't quite understand. Naruto looked at them as if they were a nun's school.

They continued walking for a couple of meters, 50, 10, 30, 300... the people who heard him say the S-word were gone.

"Sakura, you know, you shouldn't be ashamed of all that. It's just, um, it's not bad. It's okay to do it. Don't you masturbate like everyone else?" God, the embarrassment on the kunoichi's face was uncomfortable.

"God," she sighed, "this is stupid."
Sasuke is a completely different story. Naruto didn't let "the village" raise him like they did last time. He would end up an idiot, and not just in the socio-sexual sphere. Living with him bore more fruit than I imagined at this early age of puberty.

Being blind, deaf, and mute most of the time, with genjutsus, made any concept of sex "of that time" untouchable for his sweet body. No "housewives" or "men working 9 to 5 and having beers with friends 5 to 5." No children, no shame, no "dates," no nothing. Just the irrefutable fact that people who liked each other fornicated, that's how babies were made, and some people charged for it, consent, and all that. Basic, concise, and true.

It was really interesting how the concept of "Hit On" came naturally and not at all nervously to Sasuke when he didn't really understand what flirting for sex was. Apparently, humans were programmed to do it at birth.

He let him talk to a couple of people just to give him the feeling that he wasn't obligated to be with him. After all, kissing a few times and fooling around at the academy was nothing. Saying they were a couple on the playground was nothing. Not even knowing each other's bodies by heart from the bathrooms was nothing. Especially considering he never let Sasuke understand the concepts of fidelity, love, or any of that.

Or maybe Sasuke was just being kind and didn't intentionally "hit on" those people. He couldn't take him for an idiot either; he was Sasuke, after all.

The "social experiment" or whatever this direction was taking Sasuke would hit the right note today, so to speak.

It's an ordinary Wednesday, a bit rainy, it's been 3 hours since today's D-class mission and 2 since they've showered and dried off. Warm weather inside, privacy, couch, radio playing in the background, jazz and blues.

He lay down on the couch, calm and sideways, so it would be obvious he was doing something, but it wasn't the grand erotic display in a latex tube for fun. Sasuke was a few feet away, making himself some tea.

It was quiet and simple, lying on the long couch. The Uchiha sat on the other couch in this living room and looked up from his cup for a few seconds, unsurprised, and then looked back down.

It was, without a doubt, erotic on his part. Good sex isn't electronic music, it's blues. Lazy, soft, hopeless, and warm like a cup of tea.

His hand moved up and down her privates calmly, getting to know each other well.

And his favorite emo was undoubtedly intrigued.

he wasn't reading the book he'd brought, but he was sipping it while he watched. Embarrassment had no place in the pleasure.

Naruto stained his pants; Sasuke left his cup in the sink. He handed a paper napkin to the foxboy with a smile.

Naruto took it.

"Put those jeans in the wash before they get hard," he smiled.

Oh, this was good, very good.
Emotional excitement coursed through him.

"I'm not sure if I'll forget it or not"

Chapter Text

Kissing him on the mouth was the best thing Naruto could do today.
That first step a few days ago was opening the board, demonstrating that the Uchiha wasn't embarrassed or nervous, but still neutral.

Performing sex couldn't just be throwing his lover onto the bed and giving him the job like a cheap prostitute. His manners had to be better than the typical teenager's, but not give the impression of being promiscuous or experienced.
They were supposed to be lovers of several years' courtship, beginning their sexual life slowly but surely because of the trust they had in each other, not an experienced adult with his grooming victim in violent acts where the minor felt attacked.

This had to be perfect.

With his typical confidence, he ran his hands over his pale chest and looked into his eyes.
"I don't think we need a talk about this, just feel each other. Without words, you can fail."

Ouch! He woke up screaming.

"Do you have uncomfortable dreams too?" Sasuke was casually reviewing some papers.

I wish it had been real.

"It used to happen to me before..." that tone was casual and bored. It wasn't her Sasuke; he was less shy than the one from her original timeline. "Hmm," but that sound didn't go with him.

She couldn't deny it was fun.

Naruto couldn't be the first of the two to talk about having sex; it would sound desperate and like he was trying to "convince" or "persuade" him to do it.

As if it were something Sasuke wouldn't want to do.

He wasn't the mountain puma she used to treat, but he was still a cat. Her Sasuke. An imminent danger in the emo scene clothes of his time.

She grabbed the paintbrush from the table and began gently poisoning her kunai from a jar.

"Um..." awkward gibberish "I don't want to rush ahead too quickly, you know? And don't feel like you're doing it out of pressure either. It's not a necessity, really..."

The Uchiha tried to hide that shaky pause of reflection "I... understand."

There was a couple of seconds between them.
"But I don't think I can be uncomfortable about doing it, really."

The atmosphere was heavy.
"You have the right to be uncomfortable, Usuratonkachi."

A hawk flew through the window and the poison spilled.
"Ah! Ah! Ah! God! It stings so much!"

The Uchiha grabbed the letter "Kakashi wants us at the field at 6 am, he doesn't say the reason. Hn."

Naruto already knew what it was for, finally the damn exams.
"If he calls us at that time, it's definitely to bother us! He'll never take 6 am anywhere! Dattebayo!"

Ah, the background music played, this would be a long day...

Chapter Text

This was the kind of talk Naruto tried to avoid.

Hi, how are you, fine, okay, we'll put you in an exam to die for, me too, I love you, etc.

Kakashi babbled on about the chunin exams, Sakura tried to hit on Sasuke because apparently the standard of the time regarding consent was weird, and Sasuke was dissociating. He wasn't even in a genjutsu; apparently, that had become part of his life from living inside the illusion for so long, staring at the scenery as if he were drugged. It was weird; at this point, he should have been with Orochimaru and I with the perverted sage. But here they were. For an exam, it wasn't as exciting as the last time.

"She's annoying." Okay, third person, but it was still Sasuke.

Loud, clear, and strong. He said it so I could hear it, regardless of Sakura.

Oh, I'd almost forgotten that behavior. Only he exists, other people don't. Something that worked in genjutsu, but not in the real world. Sakura was hurt by that. Sasuke was equally indifferent; it wasn't the same.

No more of the trio going around for fun.

Pushing Sakura away like that hurt, just a little, but it was felt, and changing the mechanics of comfort into something sick and strange.

●■●□■●□■

Sasuke started with Kakashi and the Chidori; it couldn't be that difficult. There was no practice for me, because I'm better, unfortunately.

○□□●○●□

Sasuke pov. 

Gray hair, he talks more than the others. I don't understand him, not even Naruto talks as much as he does.

He babbles about the technique he's going to teach me, leaving it at "it's for killing" would be shorter. Lightning, sparks, holes, babble, I can't concentrate.

Naruto focuses on protecting others himself, doing everything alone, leaving us behind, that girl and this... boss? Whatever. It would be easier if he let us shine and not do everything alone, more welcoming, but it's not my job to bother him with that, we have to...

No matter, the second attempt produced more sparks and the gray guy babbled something.

Positive reinforcements were strange; he doesn't remember having them much in his life, like the idiot he was in school.

Well, maybe he did, with those "people" once, not good enough, there was his brother... nah, too fuzzy to remember or care.

Grey hair criticisms weren't deserved; he was just a fool making sparks with edges.

 Not cool at all.

Chapter Text

Growing up with Naruto provided very clear examples of what it means to socialize well, but he could never learn it. After a while, every conversation turned into meaningless murmurs and quick movements. Nods and hints that Sasuke could never understand.

It also gave him a good example of what domestic life was like.

You go to the academy, you fail miserably, you come back, your roommate/partner/friend explains the jutsu or technique to you with hints you understand and a few words, and you practice in silence while they watch you until it's time to sleep. The Nara watched him as if they knew something bad was going to happen to him, maybe this was it.

Emptiness. Unjustified emptiness.

But it was normal, it was romantic, in theory.

That's how his parents lived.

But he felt... wrong in some way. There are no problems in general, he just didn't feel comfortable.

And he only isolated himself more and more.

In the end, it wasn't discomfort with sex, or violence, or even a twinge of guilt over some abstract idea of individual honor for not going after his brother; it was him who was wasting away.

If Shikamaru knows anything, it's that Naruto is a doomed and immovable force in the universe.

Loud, flashy, but quiet and foolish like an adult when he's not being watched.

Obsessed, even.

I wouldn't blame him. His kind are short-lived, killed, and hated.

Would he be so clingy if dating and falling in love were so dangerous for him? Perhaps, he doesn't know. His father told him about it once.

There are two kinds of love: the most passionate and stupid, based on adoration at first sight, and the one his father explained to him is the best, forged through dating, living together, and mutual affection, more real and lasting.

One makes you go out with a few people until you find the right one, without drama or fear, and the other makes people commit suicide in front of someone who's only spoken to them three times.

Obviously, there's a winner.

And from what he could see and understand, there was a childhood crush at the beginning.

The kid came, said Sasuke was mine now, and time moved on.

And now they're having problems because deciding who you're going to spend the rest of your life with at four without even a list of common goals paid off, or something like that.

Anyway, he had to drag the Uzumaki to the Uchiha compound, with just 13 y.o.

To his credit, it was the first time he'd dragged a drunk friend home, much to the disappointment of the friend's partner. Quite an achievement.

Chapter Text

"You're an idiot." A kunai flew past Naruto.

He didn't understand. He did everything right, like with Hinata

"What did I do now?"

"What did you do, dobe? Should I answer?" Another kunai slammed into the tree

"I don't think I've developed into my own person yet, and that seems dangerous"

Another kunai

It wasn't a fit of resentment or anything like that, but Sasuke was becoming even more human than the shell Naruto created using ninjutsud

"Goodbye"