Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

  Rain keeps beating on the rooftops, muddying the glass, this was the sound of heaven. A chin rested on the door and vibrating as the vehicle moved. The scene moved past endlessly outside the window and he watched the raindrops dance to entertain his blues.
  Car rides were fun, in Jihoon’s opinion. You sit in comfort and enjoy the outside world without actually being in it. Jihoon liked that. The car that was taking him to his hometown, Busan, was just one of the transformational ones.
  This story however is what comes after the car ride. Jihoon does not find what came before it ‘pretty’. He left behind all the screaming that wasn't his and was moving to his new home. His grandmother's home. She was no more.
  Jihoon prepared himself for her passing. He was also grateful to hear that her last thoughts were to leave the house in his name; rescue him. Busan was miles from Seoul. Nothing like it. He'd lived there before, and he and his parents moved after they found out about his condition. His presence made the rain… react.
  “Thank you, sir.” The wrought iron gate opened creakily into an overgrown yet thriving garden. The tiled roof made the entrance alive with streaks of sunlight and angels in the back wall. The inside was a modern house filled with pictures of the family.
  The sun was going down and there was moisture between Jihoon's toes that made his socks uncomfortable. He saw that the luggage he had mailed here to reach before him lined the far wall. He took his first hot shower.
  Unpacking led him into the night. The moon was full in the sky. Jihoon watched the thin line of incense smoke reaching for it. He hummed a tune that seemed to fit the dancing droplets. He was exhausted but he knew that if he didn't get life together today, he would be crushed under the pile of work he'd receive from school tomorrow. He was a transfer student now, and there was one month until finals week.
  He thought about all this before he moved. He was prepared. He also thought about reuniting with the children he used to play with as a child. Which was why Choi Seungcheol creaking open the gate asking if anyone was home did not make him jump. “Good evening”, Jihoon said, dusting his hands that were mindlessly weeding the plants as “I saw light, and grandma Lee-”, he paused, “I'm sorry”. His eyes flicked to the water.
  “Come inside.” Jihoon said.
  “No, I was just curious- It's good to see you, I just wish it was under better circumstances. Are you here to pack up?”
  “I'm moving in.” Jihoon unlocked the door... “I insist” he said, motioning towards the interior of the house. The air was heavily awkward, but then again, Jihoon was prepared.
  “I was gonna eat steak for dinner.”
  Choi Seungcheol could not turn that down and Jihoon knew. The conversation represented how conversations sounded between reconnecting  friends-
  “Have you joined Pledis?” Seungcheol asked. “I have, I know it's one month until finals week. You think I’m doomed?”.
  “What courses have you taken?”
  “Production major. Lyrics, vocals.” This was the part of Jihoon that changed while he was away. He wrote songs endlessly and about everything. As children, they had discussed joining ‘Pledis University’ with dance.
  “We share classes then...”
  Huh- “Oh really? Which ones?” “Prod and Lyric Writing.” “Wow.”
  “I see you catching up with the lyric studies. Since I’m guessing you’ve studied that in Seoul too.” he continued after a nod. “Production however, is taken pretty seriously here.” Jihoon wasn't worried. He only had to be better, do his best. He was used to sleepless nights. “I know... I’ve got my work cut out for me.” Seungcheol nodded.

  Footsteps sounded nicer on pebbles; Jihoon learned on his first walk to Pledis. He could hear their bell-like sounds over the low hum of his loosely hung earphones. He was listening to his latest unfinished song. He figured a hopeful song would be fresh to listen to during the April-May bridge.
  The song was a long time coming. It was supposed to be done last spring. His grandmother was supposed to listen to it and miss him a little less. Water pricked his eyes. Why was he even doing this? He stopped and blinked really quickly, bracing himself for a day that left no room for thoughts that needed sifting.
  The sun was generous enough to continue shining. Jihoon followed the counselor around the tour of the campus and tried to remember the layout as well as possible. It helped that the Production, Dance, Vocal and Acts departments were split across four buildings. The university was long length-wise and only two storeys tall. The ground floor was mostly open space with some club rooms and the cafeteria at one end.
  He was left off with who was supposed to be his most important teacher for about two years. Mr. Bumzu was a bright-eyed, bald teacher that sat in his office expecting Jihoon. They greeted each other warmly. The fact that Jihoon was asked to come an hour early to the university to get familiarized with the surrounding gave him about twenty minutes to speak to his teacher.
  “You think you can do this, son?”
  “I’m here with hope.” Jihoon smiled through the intimidation. The talk was nothing short of amazing to Jihoon. Mr. Bumzu had already asked for and heard his work in advance and knew what technical jargon Jihoon would understand. He showed Jihoon some of his ongoing work and some of the students’ group projects to show him what he was up against
  “Other than my style of teaching, the syllabus is mostly the same as Seoul. You won't feel the pressure if you try just a little harder.” Jihoon nodded as he was led to his first class. He smiled at Seungcheol when he entered the class behind Mr. Bumzu. Most of the class was filled, students and teachers were usually late in Seoul. He didn't mind the punctuality. Jihoon took one of the seats at the back.
  There were five to ten minute breaks between lectures and Jihoon mostly followed Seungcheol throughout the day. He didn’t join his friends for lunch that day though. He signed up for Gym before school (on Seungcheol’s suggestion) and Dance after. He wasn’t looking to continue in dance in the future but it was a recurring hobby of his He was required to join either a morning or after school club. The counsellor advised him to do both. Since there weren't many extra curricular requirements in Seoul, Jihoon would either have to make up for them by either club participation or written papers on multiple topics. He had no engagements outside of the university. He figured doing more wouldn't hurt him.
  He was sweat streaked as he walked out of his last class of the day. The rain had made the air heavy with moisture. He walked home in peace knowing the rain would take its time to reach him. “Lee Jihoon!” He stopped and turned. “We’re literally neighbours. Why are you walking alone?”
Seungcheol slung his arm over his shoulder. Jihoon was red from both the heat and being flustered. “Sorry.” He said politely to Seungcheol before looking at the two boys behind him. He recognized one of them. “This is Seokmin. Also, do you remember Soonyoung?” Jihoon smiled and bowed to them, “briefly”. He shook Soonyoung’s cold hand. The boy had grown tall and his face had lost its roundness though boyishness was still prevalent. His hair was spiked with sweat.
“Seokmin is his younger brother. He was born not long after you moved. I know y’all barely played back in the day but at least you aren't strangers.” Seungcheol smiled as his slung arm nudged Jihoon to walk. Soonyoung and Seokmin spoke loud and animatedly behind them as Seungcheol tried to familiarise Jihoon with his friend’s names. Jihoon was grateful for the effort. He didn't prefer large friend groups but he needed this newness. He thanked the others before walking into his house.
  He took a long shower before going out in the cold for a jog. He listened to his track on loop, actively brainstorming ideas for it. He stopped in front of the old temple. His steps clicked prettily on the painted rock stairs. He pulled his earphones out and let the breeze fill his ears. A lot about the temple had changed but the deity was still the same. It looked oddly at home in its niche.
  Jihoon took a moment with closed eyes, not to pray but to silence his mind. His grandmother taught him that when he would cry as a child while voicing his concern to god. He smiled, “I’m happy to be home.” He felt a droplet on his arm, his grin widened.
  A welcome shower was long overdue. He walked to the benches and sat down to watch the rain. The little specks danced brightly as though loving the attention. Jihoon’s mind was drawn by the sound of the rain drum. He’d forgotten how much he loved the sound of them. He didn't stay too long knowing he had a long day tomorrow.
He didn't dread the tire the day would bring. It would be the right kind of exhaustion a boy his age should feel. He wanted to feel himself heal. The pleasant company of the falling water saw him home safely that night.

  He cooked with soft jazzy music playing on the speakers. The meal was loaded with protein. He remembered how his grandmother would call him “carnivorous” when he was younger. He ate his meal well.
  He did some reading for some of his classes on his phone before bed. He placed an order for a raindrum and registered for a physiotherapy class that would last about a month. He wanted to live here. Properly.
  The window had a view that showed huge green leaves that were fresh with water. Small rainbow rings formed on those droplets made Jihoon's dreams more colourful.

  Jihoon walked into class in a similar way the next day. By the third period, he was told that Seungcheol would be expecting him at his table for lunch that day. The guy sitting next to him slipped in the fact that it was a lot of people. He made a helpless face evoking laughter.
Jihoon walked to the cafeteria with his home-cooked meal. Seungcheol took no time in slinging over him. “Hi. Wow.” Jihoon was small compared to him. “Come get lunch with me.” He said.
  “Oh, no. I'm set.” Jihoon lifted his bento.
  “Wait, you made that?” Seungcheol made big expressions. Jihoon murmured something along the lines of ‘oh well’ and ‘I’m a little picky’ Seungcheol took the box from him and Jihoon pinked.
  “Hyung, Jeonghan said he can't finish his plate.”      Kwon Soonyoung jogged over, eyes flicking to Jihoon once. Seungcheol gestured for Jihoon to follow and he was met with a bustling table of about ten people. Woah. Jihoon stopped to look for a chair when Seungcheol walked away to someone else.
  He felt a tap on his forearm and saw Soonyoung squeeze through the lines of tables to reach the other side. “There should be space around here,” he said, “just squeeze in.” Jihoon nodded, it was a valid arrangement for a group of this size.
  He can barely remember whom he sat next to on that first day. He was neither aware of when his box was emptied nor when he got up and moved to his next class. He’d agreed to bike home with Seokmin; the younger, taller kid seemed to like Jihoon like a stuffed toy. He was squished and patted on the head by the younger, he did manage to escape the kiss-on-the-cheek attempt though.
  After the last class, he walked to his locker on the ground floor and stilled when he heard the rains outside. No… He spent about an hour and forty-five minutes fiddling with Mr. Bumzu’s high-tech equipment, with permission of course.
  He rushed out and biked home, taking all the empty roads to get home before the drizzle worsened. He was a no-show to his first friend on the second day. He'd argue that the water on his face came only from the sky.
  He focused on work to keep his thoughts from spiralling. His shower before bed was warm. He was angry at the shower head, it resembled the clouds too much.

Chapter Text

Jihoon rehearsed his apology a couple dozen times before stepping into the cafeteria for lunch the next day. The cafeteria had an even loudness the moment you crossed its threshold; the scrape of trays, chatter spilling over each other. Their table was bustling again with a couple new faces in the mix, or not. He couldn't tell.
He joined them and sat in the same spot. A hand circled around his neck and rested there, the boy bent over Jihoon’s shoulder “hyung, I heard you make music.”
“Seokmin-” Jihoon half-rose, wanting to face him politely. “I'm learning…”
Seokmin nudged the boy beside Jihoon to move in and settled down. “I'm sorry about yesterday,” Jihoon started.
“Thought you'd say that, don't worry. I figured something came up. About this music thing, I wanted to ask if you could let me hear some of your work.”
Jihoon had prepared a lot more to say. He wasn't expecting this. “Oh, sure. Right now?” Seokmin nodded and Jihoon pulled out his wired earphones from his pocket.
Jihoon played one of his oldest numbers- 20. Keeping his eyes on food and his hands moving the whole time. Soonyoung slid a chair next to the bench they were on and squeezed his tray into the table.
He looked like he fought his way through the crowd; hair a mess, eyes wide until he noticed Seokmin. “What's he doing?", his eyes shifted to Jihoon, “Hi. Yah! Junie, this guy's falling off the bench here,” the guy Jihoon was next to shoved people further down the bench and pulled Seokmin with him so Jihoon had more space to sit.
The kindness made him pink, and he still sat like the bench charged him rent. He murmured a quick ‘thanks’ before continuing to eat.
He noticed Seungcheol slip into the bench opposite him, “oh Jihoon, what are you doing for ‘Attacca’?” Ah, Mr. Bumzu briefly told Jihoon about the annual cultural show in November. He also warned Jihoon not to get too roped in since he joined mid-year.
“Nothing as of now. Lots of catching up to do.” Seungcheol nodded. “How about you though? All of you?” gesturing to the couple others who were listening in.
“Just starting discussions on what to give our names for. I'm leaning towards direction and script-work.” Seungcheol said. “Jeonghan-” he pointed to the boy next to him, who closed his eyes warmly.
“I think I should act,” Jeonghan spoke. “People keep pushing me to get on stage.” With his long hair and big eyes, Jihoon didn’t have to wonder why.
“We're trying to go big this time, since it's our hyungs’ last year.” Soonyoung eyed the pair.
“Soonyoungie is already working on a solo by the way” Jeonghan inserted, teasingly. Before Jihoon could congratulate the boy-
“Whoa! Wow wow…” Seokmin interrupted and it was Jihoon's turn to pink.
“You made that??” Seokmin’s voice cracked with disbelief. Jihoon nodded, stuffing the earphones back into his pocket.
“It's beautiful,” Jihoon couldn't help but smile. Seokmin showered him with more compliments.
“Why did he get to hear it first-?” Seungcheol pointed. “because I asked, hyung!” Seokmin whined. Jihoon laughed with the others. “No, but seriously… That's crazy good Jihoon.”
“Thank you, bro” Jihoon shook his hand, as they walked to their post-lunch classes.

Production felt like a free period. Kind of like kids and nap-time. The dim light and noise-cancellation, chairs with wheels, and the back-helping reclinability. This was Jihoon’s personal haven. The class began with a quick introduction to a new technique or tool. Then Jihoon had to put his headphones on and produce quality work before the three-hour class ended. He could imagine the lyrics riding on the tracks the song created and fitting perfectly. He was starting to like this one.
He decided to use the synth and percussion techniques Mr. Bumzu talked about that day in that April-May bridge song he was working on. The teacher helped him clean up the edges and suggested changes before adding- “this is good work, kiddo.” he leaned back in his chair, “a good album closing track if you ask me.” Mr. Bumzu rubbed the top of his head. Jihoon started seeing the man as some sort of genius; sharp eyes, slipping glasses.
Jihoon was leaving with Hansol (Seungcheol introduced him as having a very different and desirable music style.) when Mr. Bumzu held him back.
Jihoon blinked in confusion. Seungcheol turned as well, but left when the teacher gave him a reassuring look. “Jihoon, you seem to be settling in fine. Run into any hiccups along the way?”
Oh. This was just a teacher checking in on his transfer student. “No, sir. I'm doing okay.”
“I'm glad. I did notice you've skipped club activities, though. On both days…” Ah.
“I had completely forgotten that I signed up for those, sir. I'm sorry. I'll erm- be regular.” The concern in his eyes lingered, but he nodded nonetheless and patted Jihoon’s shoulder.. And that’s how Jihoon found himself staying for the Dance Club that evening, unplanned.

After his last class, he followed the signs that pointed towards the department and knocked on the door that said club studio. Peeping inside, he saw the teacher looking at him. “May I help you?”
Jihoon stepped into the class, “I signed up for the club, sir. I'm Lee Jihoon.” Realisation hit, “Lee Jihoon. Lee Jihoon, the Seoul transfer, I'm Mr. Choi Youngjun.” He shook his hand.
Jihoon made an oh with his mouth and nodded. He smiled awkwardly. “You'll fit right in.” The teacher smiled, then announced to the room. “You guys, get me a solid idea by the end of the week. One up last year's performance.” Just like that, Mr. Choi left the room.
Jihoon looked at the fifteen-ish-member club slowly. “Jihoonah” Someone called out from up front. Kwon Soonyoung. Jihoon walked over. “Hi, I'm Lee Chan.” A younger, passionate-looking boy bowed beside him.
“Seokmin’s younger brother, he sits with us during lunch,” Soonyoung said, putting an arm around Jihoon's shoulder as they faced the class. Jihoon curled into himself. Everyone introduced themselves one after the other.
The conversation with the class flowed into ideating concepts for Attacca. Jihoon mostly spectated. Most of them whined that the end of the week was too less of a time frame for quality plans. Lee Chan sat next to him when Soonyoung left to talk to some of the girls in the back.
“Hi, hyung.” Jihoon smiled at him. “You moved from Seoul? How is it there? As futuristic as the media claims?”
Jihoon thought, “Busan is better. Seoul’s amazing and all but you feel very small there. Constantly thinking that the world is bigger, that you're just a small, irrelevant fragment.”
“Whoa… you write?” Chan was in awe. Jihoon chuckled shyly, “a little”

Jihoon cleaned the house that day, feeling like a responsible young adult. He hummed along to the tune of the wind. He’d just stepped out of the shower when he heard the first drops of rain hit the ground outside.
Jihoon received a call from his parents earlier that evening. They seemed a little distant. He knew it was hard from their stance as well. Watching their only child leave behind the life they’d built for him in the city and go back to where they started. They were supportive. Reluctantly. Jihoon was understanding as well; there was only so much relief his plain reassurance could provide.
Settling onto the sheltered porch and shaking his hair dry, he watched the water dance on the rain-drum he’d bought. He greeted its presence, allowing his mind to mold into solid shapes in front of him.
Goose-feather pillows, the curtain patterns from class, the notes of his current song project… Shifting thoughts, he brought out his comfort food- rice with boiled corn. His conscience drifted back to the dance club.
After the rather serious discussion during the club hour, the class played GDXTAEYANG’s ‘GOOD BOY’ and everyone danced like they were saving energy till the end of the day for it. Like they came to the club only to be part of that moment.
Soonyoung even freestyled pretty well mid-session, Chan made Jihoon dance to the chorus with him. Jihoon had to. The atmosphere begged him to. Someone flickered the tube lights, and others pulled out their phone flashes; multiplying in the mirrors, all highlighted with the sound of shoes squeaking against the floor.Thunderstorm-esque.
The whole scene felt like a fever dream after it ended because everyone just left immediately, some before the song could even end. Jihoon only realised when he skipped out with Chan and turned to see Soonyoung not far behind.
Someone turned the lights off and shut the door. “I'll return them today, don't worry”, the boy jingled the keys, and Soonyoung nodded.
“Shall we?” He asked, gesturing to the exit. Chan and Jihoon nodded. Jihoon pushed his bicycle a few steps before his face screwed up. “No, what the heck just happened?”
Soonyoung and Chan burst out laughing, knees buckling beneath them. “You just went with the flow, I thought you wouldn't even ask.” Jihoon had to laugh too, because seriously, what was that? Soonyoung almost had tears in his eyes when he stopped to explain:
“We would always be sad when class was ending, someone would give a wrap-it-up speech, and we'd all whine and leave class. This was the only way to leave smiling. ‘Dance Therapy’ is our official term for now.”
“You have some killer moves though, hyung,” Chan said. Jihoon smiled. Dance was to them what rain was to him.
Jihoon felt the glee even as he sat there in his garden, bathed with the scent of the damp soil. I think I’m doing fine here. He twirled his finger around the last drops of rain, sending the thought up to his grandma. He squeezed through some assignments before going to sleep.

Chapter Text

A new day in Busan was something poetic in itself. Jihoon could swear he heard the ocean no matter where he was and he longed to go see it.
He was at the gym though. Bench pressing quietly beside this one guy that recognised him from the lunch table- Kim Mingyu. The boy was ripped. University students don't usually look like that, right? “Whoa, bro, what do you eat?!” Jihoon blurted.
“Meat.” Mingyu ducked his head.
“Solid. Do you come here every day?” Jihoon asked.
“Pretty much. I'm guessing you picked this over morning club activities as well?” he grinned, knowingly and Jihoon knew he'd get along with this one. “Cheol Hyung's supposed to be here as well but he works out at random times.” Ah.
Mingyu spoke about himself while they changed into their uniforms in the locker room. Jihoon noticed he spoke very quickly, almost as if people didn’t let him speak, so he took every opportunity to get everything he had in mind across.
“Oh Seokmin’is going to ask if you can produce for them by the way.” Mingyu slipped in.
“Produce? Them?” Jihoon was confused.
“The vocal department’s Attacca performance.” He cleared up.
“Oh what the-” Jihoon processed. “Don't Seungcheol and Vernon produce too? The rest of the class?”
Mingyu nodded. “I made him hear one song.” Jihoon said.
“I know. Everyone knows.”
Jihoon buried his face in his hands. “God help my grades.” Mingyu giggled pathetically at that.

It's not like Jihoon didn't want to produce for Attacca. He wanted to, he could use the exposure. Though he had next year for that too. But this year meant more to the friend group since Seungcheol, Jeonghan and another guy he hadn't met yet- Joshua, wouldn't be around after. But he wasn't even properly friends with them yet.
Seokmin spoke to him about it on his way to class. Jihoon was glad Mingyu had warned him prior so he'd had time to think about it. Seokmin was nice about it too, pleading but still leaving it up to Jihoon.
Jihoon walked to lunch a little slower that day. He missed the rain. At times like this, he'd go out into the gardens as a child and wait as the rain replenished him illogically.
“Jihoon, is that you?” Jihoon turned to find Jeonghan, eating an apple with one hand and slinging an arm around him. His arm was lighter than Soonyoung’s was, Jihoon noted.
“Something wrong? The guys tryna get at you for your looks?”
“Huh? No, hyung. What?” Jihoon watched the older boy take another bite .
“You're pretty, like me. I'd only expect what I know to expect…”
“Thanks?” Jeonghan laughed at that.
“…tell me what’s wrong now, before ten others notice and ask you the same.” he spoke like he meant business this time.
“Uh I'm not sure-” Jihoon was unnerved by Jeonghan’s gaze while he tried to decide how much to tell the guy.
“Not sure if I should produce for Attacca or not. Considering I have two whole terms worth of assignments to hand in.” Jihoon admitted.
“Jihoonie, school should propel you forward, not hold you back. It's not like you're incapable. Give me until the end of the day, I'll get back to you. Hmm?” He patted Jihoon’s cheek and walked into the cafeteria.
“Hyung, wait.” Jeonghan turned around, “I don't think I want to do this. It's unnecessary work… I can just contribute next year.”
“I’ve heard your music. I know you’re good. The spotlights will find you, even if you run, Jihoon, and given well… you-” Jeonghan gestured at his frame, “you wouldn’t be able to help but shine.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?” Jihoon murmured.
“Very, trust me.”
Jihoon just stood there stunned as the other left. What was the devil going to do?

Mr. Bumzu called to him at the end of the class, again. “Is club work good?” he asked. Jihoon nodded.
“You want to produce for Attacca?” Jihoon stilled. Yoon Jeonghan…
“You think it'll be any good?” No response.
“If you can come forward with quality pieces for Attacca, I’m willing to mark you for your work there.” Jihoon considered that.
“Is that allowed?” He asked, genuinely.
“You leave that to me.” The teacher patted his back.
“It’ll open up more opportunities, certainly…”
“But, you cannot collaborate. I've heard your work, I know what it sounds like.” Jihoon nodded, still a little dumbstruck. "I will ask you to pull out of it if your grades don't look good this term though.”
“Thank you, Sir.” He stepped out.
“Meet the deadlines!” Mr. Bumzu called out just as Jihoon disappeared around the corner. “I will!”

Woozi: thank you

Jjong_1004: ;)

He must have had a lightness in his step that day, evident enough for Soonyoung to notice. “Good day?” he asked at the club when the members had dispersed into smaller groups for discussions.
“Could you dance?” Jihoon asked, out of the blue. Soonyoung’s eyes went wide, instantly fumbling through his playlist while Jihoon warmed-up. He looked up at the start of Zico’s ‘New Thang’ and saw Soonyoung waiting for Jihoon's approval. Jihoon bounced into place and noticed a few students watching from the sidelines. Jihoon let himself loose.
They both had the slightest quirks on their faces in the mirror, thrilled by their own synchronisation. The group hyped them up and joined in. “Jihoon Hyung??” Chan jumped with two thumbs up excitedly beside him. He laughed, breathless.
“Didn't know you had that in you.” Soonyoung was locking up. Jihoon shrugged it off. He felt electric at that moment. He hadn't in a while. “You were worth the hype,” Jihoon admitted, cut by the thunder outside, “and you Channie.”
He tried playing it cool by putting his arm around Chan’s shoulder. “Hyung gets that compliment a lot,” he said, sounding like he wanted Jihoon to up his game.
“Hey, I can't walk home with you guys today… Got to work with Bumzu for a bit.” Jihoon lied, aware he unintentionally stirred the clouds.
“Are you sure?” One of them called-out as he jogged away. I have to, Jihoon looked up.

Jihoon felt like he could blend in here. Fit into this side of living. Attacca would just be a high-stakes assignment. He kaokao-talked Seokmin that evening and Jihoon could feel the other’s excitement through the screen. He was added to a group chat with, he guessed, the vocalists not long after.

Jjong_1004: told you so

sexywhilegrillingmeat: this was you, hyung?

Jjong_1004: Ofcourse~

Woozi: what's with that handle

sexywhilegrillingmeat: I'll show you one day >.<

Jjong_1004: oooh

Woozi: -_-

cutie_boo: it's his first day guys. Sry on their behalf Jihoon hyung.

Woozi: ^^ who's the other person?

sexywhilegrillingmeat: Shua hyung, the other 95er. He's not opening this chat anytime soon

cutie_boo: we’ll introduce him in-person

Woozi: thumbs up

The guys were easy to work with and they seemed to put Jihoon on a pedestal since he'd agreed to help them. After he held that impromptu listening party of his past projects, he never heard the end of it. Not until Jihoon told them he was graded on his work to make them stop thinking he was doing them a major favour. He was to some extent. Mostly because it felt good to be needed.
In Seoul, he didn't put in much effort. He wasn’t a ‘praise’ kind of guy.Here, it didn't feel like he was doing it for himself. It felt right to live up to the expectation, push the others to heights from the back because he could.

Jihoon felt like his production budget increased ten-fold when he first heard the guys sing. His ideas got more ambitious, and they would sing them with ease. Melodies came easily, almost as though their voices telepathically fell into place. Gifts of familiarity.
“They sound so poetic, like wedding-poetic.” Jihoon gushed to Mingyu one morning, while lifting weights. “Seungkwan I can’t even- he works so well with Seokmin. Singing while smiling and all. Shua hyung too.”
“I can’t use Jeonghan hyung’s voice much since he won't be on stage with them, but it’s such a warm blanket” He took a breath. “They flow into the gaps in each other’s voice, Mingyu. It’s insane.”

They worked on the performance for about a month before they decided to freeze progress for the benefit of their academics. Club activities were halted as well. Jihoon joined a few study groups after hours. Most of them shared common subjects like Math and Science.
The older friends worked visibly harder. Invisibly, to be accurate. They barely caught sight of the three during the course of their exams. Mingyu surprised Jihoon with his academic abilities. Jihoon found it freeing to stay late with him and study after the others had left because of how focused the guy was.
Though most of Jihoon's betterment had to be credited to Jun. The boy had graciously agreed to tutor Wonwoo, Soonyoung and him. Aside from Soonyoung's occasional tantrums and breakdowns, the study sessions were fruitful.
“One more dead guy's brain-rotten laws and this book has had it from me.” Soonyoung declared.
“What will you do, huh?” Jihoon provoked..
“Nothing if I want to keep my Attacca solo” He whined and put his head down, hands pressing either side of it.
“Maybe I don't want it anymore. Not in exchange for this bull.” Soonyoung stood up.
Wonwoo patted his arm, not looking up, “no, you do. Trust me, you do.” Soonyoung flopped back down. Jun and Jihoon exchanged amused glances.

Jihoon was watching a show to fill the silence before he slept one night when-

Kwonandonly_tiger (10:53): imagine dancers in a formation like a spider web and I'm trapped in there but the music builds during my journey to break free, yeah it's not a solo if we bring them in but the idea’s better, don't you think?

Woozi: sounds cool, yeah. You want to give your solo up for it? Jihoon didn't think Soonyoung was the type. You've been talking about it for months now.

Kwonandonly_tiger: maybe next year… This is a better project isn't it?

Jihoon reacted to it with a thumbs up.

Kwonandonly_tiger (12:00): I know it's really late to ask, and I'm stepping out of line. But can you help?

Kwonandonly_tiger: I'll stay and assist the entire time, as much as I can.

Woozi: …

He typed the beginnings of an apology. He had no time. Jihoon knew he would be pushing it and erasing boundaries if he agreed. He paused to think about it, reasoning, weighing the pros and cons. He couldn't even have this graded since it’d be a collaboration.
He watched the cursor blink in and out of view, then the droplets sliding down the window, peacefully at ease. It wouldn’t be too hard..

Kwonandonly_tiger (12:10): you don't have to agree

Jihoon didn’t want to turn him down. Soonyoung had been nothing but nice to him since they met. He was fun to work with…

Woozi: after terms? We might have to stay late.

Kwonandonly_tiger: fine by me

Kwonandonly_tiger: THANK YOU

Woozi: I have terrible work-life balance

Kwonandonly_tiger: and here I am, adding to that

He was soaked now, head to toe in Busan, and there was no drying off.

Chapter Text

Terms were miserable. Jihoon had always been the kind to be done with his work before the actual exam season. Pledis high had him sleeping at three a.m. with certain concepts still vague in his head. He could not botch these exams. His mind switched to auto control to keep him physically alive.
All of this reflected in the sky. Jihoon knew and he couldn't help it. The sky was a constant light grey and it drizzled uncomfortably in short intervals throughout the day. Jihoon stayed at cafès long after the study group dispersed. Walking around dry in the rain without an umbrella would only raise questions. He downed a can of coke to calm himself for the rains to stop before he left.
The gym was his recreational habitat. He'd work out at dawn. Alone, since Mingyu and most others had paused for the time being. Lunches were broken up too since each batch had their exams during different time intervals.

Jihoon had his eyes strained on the pavement while he walked to the bike stand. He pulled his hood on, stepping outside, mind hazy and sleep deprivation until he heard his name.
“Jihoonah-” it was Jeonghan. Jihoon hadn't seen him in a long time. The senior had become a shell of himself, usual mischief and glint missing.
“Sit with me for a bit.” Jihoon just nodded, scared the other would fall over. Jeonghan put his arm around him and into his pocket. Jihoon felt his weight on his waist, and he rested there as if the lack of support would cause him pain.
“Hyung, what's wrong?” They settled into a bench. Jeonghan only rested his head on Jihoon’s shoulder. The sky got a little quieter, as did Jihoon's thoughts. The only worry left was for his friend.
They sat in silence, listening to the noise of the school. He assumed the other was asleep until he saw Seungcheol walking deliberately towards them. “Han, why didn't you text?” Jeonghan moved at the touch of the other's hand on his neck, comfortable in the shadow he casted on him.
“Sorry… couldn't.” he responded softly. Jihoon noticed Wonwoo and Soonyoung watching nervously over Seungcheol’s shoulder. Soonyoung met Jihoon’s eyes and raised his brows in question, moving over to his side. Jihoon shook his head to say he didn't know what was wrong. The other only nodded and leaned against the wall beside the bench going on his phone.
Seungcheol still stood in front of them, leaning in to be audible. Jihoon listened in on the quiet conversation the two older boys had beside him, he'd have moved away if Jeonghan wasn't laying on him.
“It took everything I had to do well this time.” Jeonghan paused, “we still have two more-”
“-and we have time. Two weeks, Hannie. I know you're tired, but you can...” Seungcheol held the smaller’s hand in his.
“I think I really will fail to do well this time…”
Jihoon heard the hurt in his voice but Seungcheol cut him off, “do you think I'll let you fail?” He said it like Jeonghan was saying ridiculous things.
He pulled the other to his feet. Jihoon stood as well and watched as Seungcheol covered the other in a firm embrace. Jeonghan closed his eyes softly.
“Biking home?” Jihoon nodded to Soonyoung who pushed himself off the wall and twisted his keys in his hand. “I'll join.” Jihoon's eyes flickered to the sky, it seemed harmless enough. He let out a thoughtful- ‘ok’.
“Good, I thought you hated us.” Jihoon cringed, knowing where that came from. They waved Wonwoo off.

Both Soonyoung and Jihoon had their earphones in and Soonyoung let the younger lead the way and kept pace. He felt the familiar motion of his tires on pebbles as he cycled. Initially, he had been aware of Soonyoung behind him, but the other showed no signs of discomfort. The rest of the ride went smoothly.
Jihoon stopped at the turn where they’d have to part ways and pulled his wires out. “I go this way.”
“I know,” Soonyoung nodded. Jihoon raised a brow at that. “I was kinda close to Mrs. Lee. I visited often.” He clarified, tilting his head sheepishly to the side. Jihoon made an ‘o’ with his mouth. The memory of his grandmother pulled him in, he missed her often. He channeled his feelings into feeding the slow, winding process of writing that springtime song for her.
“Thank you,” Jihoon said. Sooyoung’s stance went defensive, “oh don’t be, I’m sorry. I was just being her Jihoon until you came back. She always knew you would, by the way.”
That kindled the guilt of not being in Busan for her. She had Soonyoung, just like he had him right now- asking if Jihoon was ok. But, if only he had come a little sooner… The sky let out a rumble, making the hair on Jihoon’s arm painfully upright. He shivered, “thank you more, Soonyoung.” He mounted his cycle and they said their goodbyes just before the first drops of the sky touched the ground.

Jihoon let the rain soak into him this time. He let loose his leash and allowed the rain to be heavier than he ever had before. He let it weigh down his clothes. Let himself feel heavy and real and let the tears mix with the rain on his cheek. His legs pushed down on the pedals and squinted to see his path.
He fiddled with the blurry lines on his screen while he composed one of his fastest tracks. Not one for the joys of spring, no. One to reassure the universe that he wouldn’t braid his sorrows with flowers and make it seem pretty when it isn't. He sat on the porch feeling droplets run down the sides of his face and nose.
The rain made patterns around him, protecting him from itself and something else it couldn’t see. Jihoon’s mind spilled into a song.

Will it stop now? Thesе raindrops, these tears?
Some day, the cold rain
Will become warm tears
And fall down, It’s alright
It’s just a passing downpour.

I don’t even have the strength to open an umbrella,
Let me just cry for a moment
As I lean on the rain
So you won’t see our sad tears
Now goodbye.

He sat there until the water and his notes pulled away from the hug. Later, the remnants of his warm shower dripped from his hair onto the towel he’d pooled around his neck. Jihoon cooked himself a soup following one of his grandmother’s recipe cards and sat down with a book. He was looking for the right page when-

Kwonandonly_tiger: Jihoonah you didn’t look too good

Kwonandonly_tiger: and it’s raining cats and dogs outside

Kwonandonly_tiger: we still have two more papers

It reminded him of Seungcheol earlier that day. Jihoon smiled. Jihoon was fine now. Better than before. He’d finally let a heavy cloud burst.

Woozi: I’m fine, Kwon. Just had to wash off the exhaustion

Woozi: I’m more worried about Jeonghan

Kwonandonly_tiger: Cheol wont let him drown for long dw

Woozi: figures

Jihoon focused on the book in his hand until a couple other pings sounded from his phone. A chat, it seems he’d just been added to, buzzed-

cutie_boo: Jihoon hyung, are you ok? Soonyoung said you’re sick

feat.thefuture: ask him why he left hyung in the rain if he was sick

medit8: :| Kwon Soonyoung

Sexywhilegrillingmeat: Jihoon’s sick?

Woozi: guys I’m fine. Soonyoung exaggerated.

Jihoon smiled. One split second of his slipped expression and all of them gushed to check in.

Woozi: I just looked dead outside. We had math today-

Kwonandonly_tiger: Chan, are you reading this?

Sexywhilegrillingmeet: don’t worry too much, hyung

cutie_boo: yeah, especially if it was bad enough for someone like Soonyoung to see it

Kwonandonly_tiger: Hey!

Jihoon laughed at that and felt lighter still.

Woozi: I won’t I wont. You guys too

Sexywhilegrillingmeet: ok, producer-nim

Medit8: hyung, come home for tea after terms

Woozi: sure :D

Pledis High buzzed with excitement as the end of Terms brought with it the dawn of preparations for Attacca. Seungkwan had already looked into everyone’s calendars to come up with a schedule for working on the vocal team’s music. Jihoon laughed as the other cribbed and whined about Jihoon being too ‘in demand’ as he termed it.
Jihoon didn't feel filled to the brim. Although his days were packed, his engagements were stacked neatly on top of each other. Far better, in Jihoon’s opinion, than the catch-up assignments he would have had to submit before the next term if not for Attacca.
He bought Mr. Bumzu coffee during their week of conceptualising sessions with the other students and teachers who were part of the overall production team. The concept they had come up with left Jihoon buzzing and inspiration hit him like thunder bolts.

Two days into the week, Jihoon found himself sitting in his studio way past the time he should have been. He leaned back on his caster chair listening to samples and old snippets he’d saved when he heard a knock on the door. That frightened him for a second, he ran a list of excuses in his head assuming he was in trouble when he clicked open the door. The wall clock read 7 p.m..
He whispered an apology to Mr. Bumzu before he poked his head out to see- Kwon Soonyoung. He breathed a sigh of relief. “You scared me” he let the other in. Soonyoung rubbed the back of his head, kicking his shoes off. “Your bike’s still up front, again, I assumed you’d be here.” Jihoon watched the other look around the room, finally stretching his legs onto the grey couch in the far end of the room.
Jihoon sat back down saying “welcome” without turning around. It was the dancer's first time here. All of his previous visitors congratulated and complimented him about the studio. He didn’t expect a big reaction because this was a school of arts after all and equipment like this wouldn't be a new sight. The last thing Jihoon expected, though, was Soonyoung’s “It’s too plain in here.”
Jihoon tried clapping back, he turned around to say something but nothing came out when he saw Soonyoung eating fries and opening a can of coke one-handed.
“Where’d you get that?” The other looked at him while he took a sip, then gulping down said- “figured you hadn’t eaten”.
Jihoon walked over to take the can from Soonyoung’s outstretched hand. He took a swig and picked up a fry. “Thanks”.
“I’m assuming this is about the spider thing.” Jihoon said, mouth stuffed with fries.
“I’m offended you think I’d come here with a motive other than being worried for my friend.”
The producer rolled his eyes. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait. Too many sleepless nights already.”
“I agreed to this.” Jihoon dusted his hands into the fry bowl and, prying the can out of Soonyoung’s hands, went back to his perch by the computer. “Just gimme a minute to finish this one up.”
“Who’s that one for?” He felt Soonyoung hover behind him as he watched the cursor dance through the track.
“Mood visualiser for Minghao.” he murmured.