Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If past is prologue, beginnings and endings didn’t go well for Buck, so he treasured the kaleidoscopic middles. His Middle started at age twenty-five.

Los Angeles opened the finest ChronoResponders Academy in the country, and at the first open house, Buck walked around with his mouth wide open until a woman in a pantsuit asked him if he was interested. He shook his head. He didn’t even finish college. His resume consisted of odd jobs, construction and bartending school. The woman gave him a once-over and said he would make a good pilot. He went to her place that night, and after she fell asleep, he was allowed to push her dress pants off the bed and use her laptop to apply.

The ChronoResponders were like regular emergency responders, dispatched by 9-1-1 operators to people who needed help. Time travel, however, changed the game. Pods were an aircraft designed to travel through the fabric of time, going back exactly one minute. Buck became a certified ChronoResponder by the end of the year and joined the 188 Chronobase as the greenest, most eager pilot.

This could be where his Middle really took off. His captain had a firm handshake and cooked with his whole heart. Buck made friends who didn’t care about his calorie intake and body fat percentage, but listened to him all the same. The hard-won ground he stood on trembled when Eddie Diaz showed up, immediately better and shinier and good-looking, and Buck wanted to accuse his team that they did in fact care about these things after all. Bobby said Eddie graduated top of his class and was an ex-army medic with a silver star.

Buck had just convinced Bobby that he was not just a reckless, immature guy looking for a thrill. He could have been wrong; maybe he never convinced his captain of anything.

Buck’s pod, the machine wired to his DNA, hummed alive for Eddie in the passenger seat, flipping the hourglass timer. It was embarrassing how quickly he came around to Eddie after that. Bobby left out the best part about Eddie: his son, Christopher.

Buck said just as much when his sister came back to him, ignoring the way his heart was churning at the changes he saw. Her hair, her skin, the way her clothes fit her, how she spoke. What didn’t change was I can’t stay. Buck insisted, clung, and showed her the Middle he built. He couldn’t fight her battles, but after the storm passed, he stood steady and shared the safe Middle with her.

Currently, Buck was hiding from Maddie.

It was one week before Christmas, and the Chronobase would be open to the public. Different events each day meant two shifts working in the same period, one to hold the fort, and the other to respond to emergencies. They needed more bodies on shift, and Buck was only happy to be of service. If Bobby noticed, he didn’t say anything as he logged Buck’s additional hours at work.

It was Buck’s fault. He didn’t tell Maddie that he hadn’t talked to his parents since he ran away. They didn’t know where he lived till Maddie called them up and invited them for Christmas.

“The sauce is burning.”

“Shit. Sorry.” Buck frowns. The edges have thickened, and the zest stung his nose. He switched off the heat and set it aside.

“I should write you up—” Bobby said.

“—I know, I know—”

“—for flavor endangerment.”

“—You said that it should be red, not brown—”

“Buck.”

“I can make it again, okay?”

“Easy, kid.” Bobby stopped his hand from reaching for the sauce again. “People don’t get tossed out for burning dinner, Buck.”

He laughed, dry and from the back of his throat, scrambled in panic. “You were joking.”

“Yeah,” he shot him a look. “Speaking of dinners, do I tell Athena to expect you?”

Buck didn’t have any plans. Holidays are tricky because he was not used to being invited. He knew that people didn’t actually want outsiders at family gatherings, though. Bobby was being polite. Buck hated that even the gesture warmed him inside out.

“I can’t.”

“Because you’ll be here at work. I noticed your name on the log sheet for Christmas Eve.”

“I’m helping Lena out.” Buck was right. This was pity. He can’t stop the beet-red flood in his cheeks. “She’s meeting her girlfriend’s parents.”

“Chimney said he was worried about meeting the in-laws,” Bobby said, annoyingly good at casually taking the conversation where he wanted it to go.

Buck rolled his eyes. “He came crying to you? I haven’t even told Maddie my answer.” She has been asking him to come see her, and he assumed it was to persuade him to commiserate in the misery of their parents’ company.

“He also said that he’s worried about you.”

“Bobby. I’m making the sauce again.”

“I know Eddie wanted you over for Christmas,” he said, prying the saucepan out of his fingers.

Buck glared. “That was months ago. Shannon might want to celebrate with her son without having Eddie’s coworker hovering.” That’s harsh to say, but is it really? Buck liked to remind himself of where he stood when it came down to it. The winter snow and cheery lights won’t lull him into a false sense of security.

Bobby sighed. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.” Later, he told Bobby to thank Athena on his behalf. He was surrounded by good people. They thought of Buck when they had their families waiting at home. He was not everyone’s first, but at least he’s kept around. Buck should be grateful for this. It was what spurred him to text Maddie back.

The next day, Buck and Maddie sit on the couch. She balances her cup of tea on her swollen belly, feet kicked up on the coffee table. Buck had finished his tea by the time she poured hers. His sister had smacked the back of his head before offering a refill.

“You want to tell me something.”

“This could be about baby names,” Maddie joked, looking away.

His sister liked to put him within arm’s reach when she needed to deliver important news. Left no room or time for him to stew, she said. “If this is about Mom and Dad, I’m sure they’ll love Chimney.”

“I doubt that.” She sipped her tea. "But you’re right. I do want to tell you something, Buck.”

He is shown pictures. At first, he thought it was pictures of him. He sits up and spreads them out on the coffee table. Buck stopped. “This is not… who is this?” he asked, picking one with the bicycle he is oh so familiar with. It wasn't him riding it, with his perpetual frown and the helmet he stopped wearing once Maddie left.

“His name was Daniel.”

Chapter Text

Buck didn’t come out of his apartment the next day. Or out of his bed. When he called Bobby to say he won’t be coming in tomorrow, Bobby asked, and Buck told him all of it. The sick voice in his head took a break, voice hoarse from chanting I told you so. Bobby had grown quiet, and Buck… the humiliation alone was strong enough to kill him. He apologised, cut the call and screamed into his pillow.

Maddie’s insistent texts brought him out of the fugue state of thinking and trying to suffocate himself. He fumbled to hit mute when the notification of her last text made him clench his teeth and open the chat. Ducking underneath the bed covers, he laid on his side to type.

He almost wished he was back in Pennsylvania, where nobody would bother to come check his room. Buck didn’t like that he was thinking of that town again.

That made Buck’s blood boil. His bones felt wrong, like they were twisting to break free of the flesh. It hadn’t been easy leaving his Beginning. It took years to claw his way out of it, being told it wasn’t that bad, his parents were good people, even if they weren’t good parents. He had felt like he was to blame, like he was so wrong that even good people didn’t want him.

The thing was, all this time, it had been in his head. If he just put his best foot forward, looked his best, and gave it his all, then people wouldn’t see what was so wrong with him. What Maddie told him felt like turning around and finding a neon sign highlighting exactly what the fuck was wrong with him to everyone around him except himself. What a laugh. Buck had known that he wasn’t wanted all along. The why of it shouldn’t have sharper teeth.

Buck swallowed back the bile in his throat. His mother’s face flickered to life. Evan spoke a mile a minute, but didn’t say it was too cold until his teacher had to reach out to his mother about a thicker jacket. His mother didn’t understand why he did such things. Evan was difficult.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. Buck had rushed out of Maddie’s apartment, but not before stumbling into Chimney, who had been bringing them pastries from a cafe down the block. He regretted whatever emotion was playing on his face that made Chimney freeze. He regretted telling Bobby everything so much that he wanted to bang his head on a hard surface and wipe it from existence.

He stared at that message, wondering if that piece of information was supposed to give him some sort of peace, and if so, how. He’d always been slow. If the Buckleys had the technology the world has now, he wouldn’t have been needed for the transplant? That there would have been no need to come face to face with the defective fucking thing that failed to do the one thing they wanted it to do?
Buck thought he wouldn’t mind not being needed for the transplant. He could find a proper match, time travel and hand it over to the young couple. Happy ending for everyone.

He sat up. That was it. Nothing was stopping him from doing exactly that. Hands shaking, he texted Maddie to email him Daniel’s medical records. Of course, she had them.

Buck got another text.

Buck laughed.

Curling in on himself, his phone slipped into his lap. He laughed because he didn’t want to be the guy breaking down over a text. That would be weird. Bobby was his boss and he had gone and told him every last reason why Buck was the way he is, a wrong unlovable unworthy body. So of course, he was getting this response. He threw his phone over the loft railing. It shattered in his living room.

Without the phone digging hooks into him, he got dressed fast. He awkwardly dialled from the same device. The email from Maddie was opened from his ipad. His previous visits to the hospital came in handy as he dialed a nurse who would help him with this odd, under-the-table request. When he picked up the bone marrow from the hospital, he made sure to pay and not think about the ethical concerns. It was an unimpressive metal flask with a handle that pops open on its lid.

He parked his jeep outside the 118 Chronobase. He kept his gaze on his phone and sped walked to his pod. The other pods were out on emergencies, which gave him a clear path to leave. Hopefully, the shift giving out gifts to the public won’t not notice, or think to question. After all, nobody dared to steal a pod.

Technically, it was his pod. It wasn’t stealing, simply borrowing, for an unknown period of time. He slid in, and put the cool flask where his partner was supposed to be. Buck exhaled. This was a two-person pod, the only pod he can commandeer without being immediately alerted to the authorities. He had to take the risk of crashing and burning.

Chapter Text

Evan hated holidays. He’d start strong and have a list of fun he didn’t get to do with school. Go to the mall, to the public pool, stay at the library one entire day. It took three days to run through the list before it became boring. The mall was miles away, and he didn’t feel like making the journey when his ears were turning red from the cold. The pool was closed for the winter, and the novelty of the library wore off when he could just bring his books home and lie in bed.

Evan heard the front door close, and he crept down the stairs as their car backed out of the driveway. Exhaling, he padded to the kitchen. The fridge was loaded with packed containers for the neighbours. Rifling past the labels, he took out his leftover pizza from yesterday.

Though the Christmas holidays were much shorter, it felt longer trapped inside. In the summer, he would take his bike out and learn tricks on his skateboard. Indoors, Evan was glued to his phone, ignoring the burn in his eyes. He ate, played video games, took a nap, listened to Linkin Park, and slept.

His phone beeped. Evan fished it out, putting the pizza down on the counter.

He scowled. She rarely spoke to him these days.

He doesn’t expect to get a response after that. He glared at the pizza. Grease stained the box, the slices hard as a brick as he tore one out. Munching on the cold cheese and pepperoni, he startled as his phone beeped again.

Evan rolled his eyes. Christmas was tomorrow. He had a gift for her. He didn’t tell her, in case this happened. Clearly, she had known anyway. Maddie knew him, inside out, and it stopped feeling like a good thing a long time ago. He is not five anymore, knocking on his sister’s door and asking to play. Evan had a life.

He deleted the question and finished off another slice of pizza. It sat like a rock in his stomach. He was about to put away the last two for another day when he heard something. Instinctively, he glanced at his phone. It didn’t beep again. Nothing had fallen from its place in the kitchen. He washed his hands and left the room, quietly assessing the darkness. His parents always made sure to turn off the lights when they left.

He heard another thud. It was louder, and he could pinpoint it outside the house. Evan got to the door and looked through the peephole. No carolers with their bells and triangles. The house opposite theirs had bright Christmas decorations, a silhouette of a tree formed only with strings of red and green lights taking centre stage. It threw enough light for Evan to assess the road for any stragglers.

He didn’t call the cops. Yeah, yeah, very irresponsible of him. Evan knew how it would go. He called the cops, then it turned out nobody was robbing the house, he’d be an idiot. If he did turn out to be a robber and even if the cops do manage to get there on time, it still happened on his watch and it would be his fault.

Another crash. The storage house. He almost used the front door, but reconsidered after one look at the knee-high snow. Evan backtracked, running to the door inside the house that led to the garage. Evan pushed the door open. Though stepping into the unit, he thought that they didn’t seem too preoccupied with staying hidden. Heavy breaths and grunts guide him right to it.

“Why are you standing there in the dark like a creep?”

Evan flinched. He tugged on the pull chord and lit the bulb hanging over him. He expected a man in black, with a mask over his face and a gun. He blinks down at the man bleeding out. The only thing the man had in common with his expectations was the barely concealed desperation. “Intruders in your home find it harder to navigate in the dark than you do,” he recited.

The man held his side tightly when he laughed. He sat on the floor, back against the withering couch Mom decided to replace. His body was crumpled, with streaks of dirt on his face and hair. His hands were bloody.

Evan took out his phone.

“Hey, don’t- don’t call anyone.”

“I’m calling the police. That’s blood.”

“I know! I know. But, I’m the one who’s hurt.” The man sat up straighter and looked right back at him, assessing him. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

The man raised his eyebrows. Evan’s eyes have adjusted to the light, and he noted more things. The blood was coming from a wound near his stomach.

“Nice try. You’re four, no-fifteen.”

Evan slowed his roll. “Who are you?”

“Are you going to call someone?” he asked, gesturing at the phone.

Evan shifted on his feet. His thoughts were ping-ponging in his head. Dad won’t believe him, and Mom would be irritated and call it a cry for attention. Maddie had other people in her life now. He pocketed his phone because who could he call?

The man winced his thanks. “What’s the date?”

Evan told him it’s Christmas tomorrow, hoping it didn’t sound petulant, the way he knew it did when Maddie cancelled plans. The man hummed. He suddenly got to his feet, one hand firmly covering the patch of blood. “I’m gonna use the first aid,” he said.

Gulping, Evan watched as the towering man stalked past him and into the house. This intruder seemed to know his way well enough. He commented on Evan walking around the house in the dark, and Evan wanted to argue back that it wasn’t creepy, but as he flicked the lights on, he watched the man freeze.

Evan looked at the empty, mundane living room, too. The man shuddered before he turned on his heel and took the stairs up.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“I need bandages,” he said, throwing open Buck’s bedroom.

“For your wound.”

“Nothing gets past you,” he mumbled. Within the minute, he had shuffled open with one hand the shelf where Evan kept his kit. He rifled through and took out bandages, tape and disinfectant.

“Stop,” Evan said. He blocked the man from sitting on his bed. “I said stop!”

The man groaned, looking to the side as if to decide whether or not to squash Evan. “What.”

“You knew where my stuff is, you stalker,” he accused. Ha. He was the creepy one. “Who are you?”

The man looked down at him, gaze hardening. He’d asked something stupid. “I’m you.” He side-stepped him and went to the bathroom. The supplies were tossed on the sink.

Evan followed him in, staring at the reflection of the man. The birthmark on his face is the exact same, down to the same shade of pink. He was not bored now.

Chapter Text

Since learning that the strange man in the house was him, he hasn’t been told much else. Only that he went by Buck. Evan promptly told him that he could have picked a cooler name. Buck told him to shut up.

Besides avoiding questions, Buck was breathing through the pain of washing his side. He was bent over the sink, red ink trailing down the white ceramic.

“How old are you?” Evan asked.

Buck shook his head. “Old. Too old for this.”

Evan knew from experience what ‘this’ meant. He also had experience in pushing it anyway. “Why are you here?”

“Classified,” Buck coughs through the word. He saw Evan go to repeat the question, and shushed him, clarifying that he was ignoring him. He straightened up and lifted his shirt.

Evan gasped at the map of bruises spiralling from the wound. The torn skin was red and black. “There’s nothing stuck in there,” Evan said slowly.

“Thank god,” Buck said, as he pressed a clean cloth to it. “Getting shrapnel out is not fun.”

“What happened?”

“When’s Maddie coming?” Buck asked, trying to fold some gauze while holding a cloth to his stomach.

Evan gave him a square of gauze. “Later.”

“Not tomorrow?”

He huffed and gave him another single layer of bandage, then began cutting pieces of the sticky stuff to hold it down. “Don’t know, don’t care. Did you come here in a spaceship?”

Buck paused. “Have you stopped reading textbooks already? I’m still on Earth. What on earth do I need a spaceship for?”

“What if there were a spaceship that could also time travel?”

Buck patted down the bandages and let his shirt fall. Manoeuvring around Evan, he cleared the counter into the small trash can in the corner. They trooped downstairs, and Buck grabbed the last two pizzas that Evan had been saving, which cleared any doubts.

“I can’t believe you’re actually me.”

“Impressed?”

“You’re big,” Evan said. “Are you a cop?”

“Nope, not a cop.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” he asked, because if Buck didn’t have a cool job and was single, then things were looking bleak.

Buck read his mind. “You’re lucky you have a job at all with your track record-”

“-Hey!”

“-And you’re worried about getting laid when you’ve discovered that time travel exists?”

“So why are you here?”

Buck made a frustrated noise and left the kitchen. Evan didn’t like him, but he followed him nonetheless. Evan walked out the front door, and Evan had to scramble to pull his boots on and tug on the first jacket he saw. “Are you here to save me?” Evan asked once he managed to catch up.

“I didn’t mean to come here. I was aiming for 1990,” Buck groused.

“I wasn’t even born then.”

“Consider the fact that not everything is about you.”

“Where are we going?”

Buck rounded the house. “My pod. Should be around here.”

The only place they were walking towards was the forest with too few trees. “What if someone saw it? Or heard it crashing?”

Buck didn’t answer, but that was fine. Evan could keep going. “Why did you need to go to 1990?”

“To save someone.”

“A rescue mission!”

Buck looked at him and smiled for the first time. “Here we are.” He hooked his finger and pulled out a chain around his neck. The pendant blinked bright blue. Buck waited. Evan looked at the forest ahead and wondered if this was another staring-at-the-living-room situation.

Buck cursed. “I knew it. Since nothing in my- our life goes right, my pod has been damaged. This is where you come in.”

“Yeah?” Evan perked up.

“Like all technology in the future, pods are coded to the owner’s DNA. I’m a pilot of sorts, which means this is my pilot, but it won’t let me in because I’m injured,” he pointed to his wound. “I need you so I can get in there and fix her.”

“Seems like I’m saving you.”

Buck deadpanned. He began a rant, but Evan was too eager to listen. He reached up and touched the pendant. The pod whirred into existence, and Evan’s mouth dropped open. It was a black aircraft that hovered a few feet above the air. Its edges were the same bright blue as the pendant. It even smelled like steel and possibility.

“Wow.”

Buck nodded in approval. He helped Evan into the pod, which surprised him until he realised that Buck needed him in the chair to make things work. He would be angry, but it was all too cool to hold a grudge. He carefully avoided the pool of blood near the seat and sat down. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s see what’s wrong,” he said, sidling Evan and swiping the screen. The layout of the pod was shown, with some parts outlined in red. “Some minor shield damage. Coolant leaks.” Buck leaned heavily on the seat, muttering about finding painkillers after this.

Evan went to touch the triangle button, and Buck slammed him back into the seat. “Don’t touch anything! I know this is all very exciting compared to the TV you don’t even bother to sit through, but that’s the reactor. It has a quantum signature, and firing it up will lead them right to us.”

“Who are they?”

“Uhm, Stephen and Brian.”

Evan kicked his feet at the machine. “Backdraft, I’ve seen that one. Come on. I let you into the house, and your jet too.”

“Love that you’re keeping score,” he said with an exaggerated happy grin. “I’d say I’m ecstatic to need your help, but I’m not. I had no intention of crawling back to the house and revisiting this,” he waved at Evan’s face. He noticed the deep cut in Evan’s lower lip, two stitches to keep the gash together long enough to heal. “Jesus. Okay.”

He turned back to the screen and clicked on more things. “I’ve isolated the damage relays,” he went on.

Evan looked around. It felt like the pod was getting smaller. He worried his busted lip. It was a week ago. It had stopped hurting, and school had let up, so with nobody to comment on it, he had forgotten all about it. Buck didn’t have the school nurse’s pity or his dad’s disinterest. Buck seemed disgusted. Evan bit back the urge to scream.

“The ship should start repairing itself,” Buck said, moving back from the screen after a few minutes.

“How long will that take?”

“Not sure. By tomorrow morning, hopefully. You don’t have to see me again.”

That got Evan thinking. “Wait, so do you remember this?

“Remember what?”

“If this is happening to me, then it has already happened to you.”

“That’s not how it works.” The pod was not big enough for Buck to stand upright. He leaned on his knees and looked Evan in the eye. “This is classified, so I’m only going to say this once. There’s only one place in time where you belong on a quantum level. That’s your fixed time. These new, happy memories today will reform and realign only after I’ve returned to my fixed time.”

“Then, by being here, you may have just changed my whole future?”

“Honestly? Your future is pretty tragic either way,” Buck laughed.

Evan couldn’t tell if he was joking.

Chapter Text

Buck slept in the storage facility, tucking himself into the old couch. It was easy to fall asleep when he had been running on fumes. His hare-brained plan to fly the pod alone may have been a bigger problem than he realised. But he only needed one more jump, so he patted the metal flask in his bag, counted his lucky stars that the bone marrow was fine and closed his eyes.

The next morning, he is awoken by his blanket being wrenched off him. He frowned. Buck covered his face and sat up, cringing away from the source of noise. The movements strained his weaker side. He hated that he could hear his mom’s voice. Evan, how long are you going to waste away in bed? Buck had spent less than five minutes in his bedroom, and it still managed to get its claws in him.

“Buck? What? What is it?”

That snapped him back to the storage facility. Buck peeked out of his fingers, eyes widening to find Eddie kneeling on the ground. His hands hovered over Buck’s frame, scanning him in a manner so familiar. Lovely brown eyes flit over him. “I’m fine. You surprised me. That’s all.”

Eddie pursed his lips. “What were you thinking?” he mumbled, petting Buck’s thigh. “What were you thinking?” he started yelling, which would be intimidating, but each syllable trembled. “I can’t believe this.”

“Eddie…” Buck trailed off. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie’s anger blinked, mellowing to something more vulnerable. Hurt. Disbelief. It ticked back to anger quickly. “What am I doing here?” he shouted, getting to his feet. He walked away, the way he does when he’s working himself up. “I don’t know, Buck. First, I get a call that the pod has gone missing,” he started counting off with his fingers. Pacing “Second, Chimney says you haven’t been responding to anyone. Maddie is worried sick. Third, Bobby pulled me aside and showed me the security footage of you taking off with the pod, asking if I knew about this. Real slick, by the way.”

“I wasn’t trying to steal it,” he said.

“What are you trying to do?” he asked.

“Buck?” the door opened, revealing the teenager of the house. Evan’s wariness was not pointed at him this time.

“Go away,” Buck said, hoping his young self would actually listen to him. He didn’t want Evan embarrassing him when things were already so precarious. He knew Eddie was excellent with Christopher, knew how gentle Eddie would be, but he couldn’t help the gearing up of his body for something bad.

Obviously, Evan did not listen. He came to stand in front of Buck, putting himself between Eddie and Buck. “Who are you?”

Eddie’s temper turned to smoke, easy as blowing out a candle. He put up a small smile. “Hi there. I’m Eddie. Your- uh, Buck’s best friend.”

“Best friend?” Evan asked, immediately suspicious. Buck winced. He knew Evan must have heard Eddie yelling, and seeing him wouldn’t have made him any less threatening. But Evan was so in love with the man, nothing he ever did was threatening, if only endearing. He couldn’t communicate this to Evan without throwing himself off a high-rise soon after, which puts him in a sticky situation. Not to mention the title ‘best friend’ straight from Eddie’s mouth made him so giddy, it’s hard to form coherent thoughts.

“Breakfast, anyone?” he piped up, slowly getting up from the couch. Chancing a glance at Eddie, he learned that he didn’t get away with anything, if Eddie’s hawk gaze on his stomach was anything to go by.

“It’s noon,” Evan said. He hasn’t taken his eyes off Eddie. “Are you also a pilot?”

Eddie’s smile grew. “Not exactly.”

He went on to explain their job, but Buck couldn’t stand listening to the patient tone Eddie was using. He slipped into the house and got started on making lunch.

He made an interesting meal with what he salvaged from the fridge. He chopped boneless pork and fried it with sauces and spices. He arranged them inside an omelette and wrapped it up before setting it on a plate for Eddie, then another for himself.

Evan and Eddie eventually come in. Eddie thanked him, not breaking the conversation as he hopped onto a stool and pulled one out for Evan. “Yeah, Buck broke records as a trainee pilot. That’s why he gets his own pod and is the pilot of our team.”

Buck ducked his head, hiding his sheepish grin.

Evan snorted, walking to the fridge and getting out the sandwiches Mom left for him. “He broke the pod.”

Buck used to be such a little menace. He glared at Evan as he sat down next to Eddie with a satisfied look.

“Is that why you’re hurt?” Eddie asked Buck, his voice erased of any inflection, which usually meant that rage was being concealed.

“It’s not serious,” Buck admitted, just to put the matter to rest.

Eddie made a face, but stopped when he noticed Evan’s sandwiches. “Is that all you’re eating?”

Evan nodded, his glee of getting Buck into trouble souring. He shared a look with Buck. Uncertainty made him quiet.

“He’s fine,” Buck said, shaking his head at Evan. He explained that his mother meal prepped the same sandwiches every week and that it was what he was used to. But Eddie only looked at him expectantly. Ugh. Buck was weak-willed against those pretty brown eyes. He gave up the third wrap he’d made in case he or Eddie wanted seconds. He took a seat across from the man.

Eddie slid the plate to Evan, who meekly thanked him before digging in. His eyes brightened, and he looked up to take in Buck, as if this mismatched piece of food was the thing that had finally impressed him. “This is good,” he said, still chewing. He tossed the sandwich into the air, and it went sailing into the trash can.

This was the embarrassment Buck had been scared of. “Don’t waste food.”

Evan stiffened. Properly chastised, he only mumbled, “You know what it tastes like.”

The meal-prepped sandwiches were just deli meats and salad leaves slapped together. As the week progressed, they grew stale and heating it barely helped. Not that Evan tried anymore. Buck bit the inside of his cheek and said nothing else. Evan began asking Eddie more questions, deciding that Eddie was an easier target than Buck.

Eddie’s knee brushed against his under the table. Buck’s legs were long and cluttered any space he was in. He adjusted a bit, but when a knee knocked his again, Buck had to stuff his mouth with omelette to distract himself.

Chapter Text

Buck wished he could hate the sight of Eddie, smack dab in his Beginning. It was hard when Eddie laughed at Evan’s lame jokes. He acted like it mattered that Evan was good at baseball and could do tricks on a skateboard. Buck rubbed his forehead and ate in silence.

Over lunch, Eddie learned that it was Christmas. Promptly, Evan asked them to stay for a few more hours. Buck narrowed his eyes at the clever timing. Eddie agreed without a second thought. That was how Buck ended up letting his fifteen-year-old self give a house tour. He stayed behind to clean up and take out the trash so nothing would be suspicious.

If Eddie broke the rules and time-travelled alone, Buck would be the first person to come after him. While Eddie was doing the same for him, it felt romantic and fed into Buck’s delusion. Not to mention, it was risky. Buck came to fix a mess, not to get his friends in trouble. He simply didn’t understand why Eddie would come for him.

He sought them out upstairs. Buck will persuade Eddie to go back home and hope that he won’t be punished. They were in the bedroom.

“You can jump over the fence,” Evan was explaining, rapping his knuckles against the window. “I broke my ankle once.”

“Jesus.”

“I walked it off,” Evan said brightly.

Buck thought he should get ahead of the trainwreck. He cleared his throat as they wandered over to the boy band posters. “Can we talk?”

Eddie looked back at Evan, who shoved his hands into his pockets and asked, “It can’t wait ten minutes?”

“No, but you can wait,” Buck said hotly.

“Butt out—”

“You butt out—”

“Boys!” Eddie said, raising his voice. Despite that, there’s a charmed smile on his lips. “I’m going to put my medic hat on and take care of Buck for a second,” he told Evan, “where can I find the first aid kit?”

The request was enough to placate Evan and gave him a chance to brag about his room a little longer. Buck waited in the bathroom, arms crossed. Eddie ducked in moments later. He was still smiling. It confused Buck.

“What?” he asked.

Eddie shrugged. “I didn’t think you were such an eager kid. You didn’t even like me on my first shift.”

“You called yourself my Best Friend. That’s a unicorn to him,” Buck whispered. He stopped Eddie’s probing hands on his body. “I’m fine. We need to talk.”

Eddie yanked his shirt up, glaring at what was underneath. “Chimney told me, you know. About your brother.”

Buck sucked in a strangled breath.

“I don’t know if you’re trying to meet him. Honestly, I don’t know anything at all because you refuse to tell me anything,” he said. Eddie didn’t look Buck in the eye as he started removing the dressing and cleaning it again. He moved the conversation to safer grounds. “Assuming that the bruising makes it look worse than it is, I’m going to say this was a shallow cut. Don’t let it bleed again.” He worked quickly, brows pinched in a frown. Buck flinched, Eddie mumbled an apology. The fragile equilibrium only broke when Eddie finished and went to move back.

Buck wrapped his fingers around Eddie’s wrist. “What are you doing here?”

“Someone needs to have your back.”

“No. Your family needs you, Eddie.”

Eddie’s gaze shot to his, furious. He ripped his hand out of Buck’s grasp. The explosion never happened; a doorbell rang. Jarred, Buck slipped out of the bathroom. Evan ran into him in the hallway. Buck tilted his head in askance. Nobody visited on Christmas.

“They said they won’t be back for two days,” Evan said, throwing his hands up. “Some work party at a fancy hotel, all paid for.”

“Go find out. We’re hiding in my room,” Buck said. Evan scampered downstairs, and Buck dragged Eddie by the t-shirt into his room and locked the door.

“Why would your parents need to use the doorbell?” Eddie whisper-shouted.

“I remember now.” Buck covered his face. “It’s Maddie. She must have figured out that Mom and Dad are not here for Christmas and cancelled her own plans. Evan…” he groaned.

“Were you always left alone like this?”

“Evan was a troublemaker, so it was almost better when he was alone. If there were no one around, he couldn’t pull stunts for attention.” Buck shifted and pressed an ear to the door. Since Maddie’s room was next to his, he would hear her walking past. He can’t be too mad at Evan for messing up her plans with her current boyfriend. Doug can eat shit.

“What kind of stunts?”

Buck snorted. Eddie had drawn near the door and was standing inches away from him. “Whatever it took to bleed, so someone will have to waste time taking care of him.” He snapped his mouth shut when he got a proper look at Eddie’s face. “You met him. He’s fine.” Buck would have something more encouraging, but the door opened, and Eddie had to pull him back by the forearm to stop him from falling flat.

Evan’s thundercloud of a face comes into view. He jabbed a thumb at Maddie’s room. Buck must have missed his sister’s footsteps. Evan slammed the door shut. The three of them huddled into a circle.

“Can you take Eddie out of the house without being seen?” Buck whispered to Evan.

Evan nodded. Clearly, something had gone down with Maddie. Evan was not a boy of few words. It was Eddie who protested.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

His stomach flipped. He tried to remain stoic. Eddie preyed on his weakening resolve.

“I used a single-use pod. So either take me with you, or leave me here.”

“You used what?” Buck hissed. “You knew you would get caught if I left you here.”

Eddie squared his shoulders. “Yeah. So, let’s go home together. You’ll crash again without me, and trust me, you might not be so lucky the second time.”

Before Buck could respond with an emphatic no, the keychain around his neck beeped. He took it out. It was blinking red.

“They’re here.”

“Who’s here?” Evan asked.

Eddie clasped his shoulder. “It’s just people from our year coming to help us.”

“To arrest you?”

“No,” Eddie said. “No, Buck used his own pod. He might get suspended at best for the unsanctioned travel. Everything will be fine.”

“You should go out to them,” Buck said. “I’ll be right there.” They work well together as ChronoResponders, partly because they were well attuned to each other’s intentions and movements. Buck knew if Eddie needed a backboard or a syringe on the scene, and Eddie knew when to stall Buck’s ropes in a rescue. Right now, Buck hoped Eddie thought he was staying behind to erase Evan’s memory.

Eddie nodded, harried by the situation. He slid the window open and whispered something to Evan. Buck didn’t go to him. The bones in his legs might collapse if he did. With Buck’s heart in his pocket, he ducked out, shooting Evan a wink on the way out.

“Was he really your best friend?” Evan asked. They’re alone again.

“Ye-yeah.”

Maddie’s shout made them both startle. More yelling, and Buck pressed closer to the wall they shared. Evan gave him a nonplussed look. “She’s on the phone. With Mom and Dad.” Evan barely made sense of Maddie’s fights with Mom and Dad. He got on his phone, sitting at the foot of the bed.

Buck remembered. Maddie used to get so upset on his behalf when half the time, he’d just wanted her, not them.

“You are supposed to be here.”

More unintelligible accusations.

“You were angry I left when you’re barely around.”

Maddie’s last shriek was clear. “I felt suffocated here, Mom!”

Buck’s ears were ringing. He squeezed his eyes shut. Maddie wouldn’t have felt suffocated in her own home if Buck hadn’t been around. Without a new unwanted thing in the family, maybe she could have grieved properly, had room to breathe. Buck had been angry at her since he found out, but really, she’s been hurting all these years.

He can fix it, though.

“Hey, do you want to leave?” he asked Evan.

Chapter Text

Evan nodded eagerly to the question, “Do you want to leave?” Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Monday, Friday, it was all the same in this house. His only concern was getting away from Maddie.

Buck didn’t look concerned. “It won’t matter soon.”

Maddie knocked on the door. “What do you want for dinner?”

“I don’t know,” he called back. Evan felt embarrassed, which made no sense because Buck was himself. When Maddie stood on the doorstep with her suitcase, her eyes darted behind him. She looked down at him, and he could tell that she knew everything he tried to shrug off.

Oh, poor Evan.

It had made him snarky, rude to the person who seemed to be the only person who cared about him. But that’s the kicker. He didn’t want Maddie’s love anymore, not since he realized that she was losing out by being here with him.

“Pizza and Coke sound good? We can watch The Grinch.”

“Perfect,” Evan sounded sarcastic. He tried again. “Cool.”

“Cool,” Maddie repeated. “Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“I know I haven’t been… around lately. And my visit today, after telling you I won’t, must seem… I’m sorry. Let’s have a good Christmas, okay? I’m here now.”

“Yeah.” That’s the only word in his grasp.

They snuck out soon after. At this point, Evan knew enough that they weren’t going to Eddie. They booked it to the pod, and he didn’t ask questions as it materialized once more. Buck took the left seat. He jerked his chin at the right seat, and Evan slowly slid into it.

“She’s trying, you know?” Buck said. His gaze is glued forward, the pod rising above the trees. “She always has.”

Evan clutched his seat belt and dug his heel in as the pod took off. His feet can feel that the ground has dropped out, but he’s not tumbling to his death. It’s dizzying. “I don’t need Maddie to feel sorry for me. Pizza?” He would have expressed how he’s had enough pizza that it has replaced the blood in his veins when the camera views of the control panel catch his attention. “Is that another pod?”

Buck shifted forward in his seat, grunting a yes. The pod sped up, the evening sky of pink melting into a haze. “That’s probably Eddie and Bobby. Okay, hold on.”

“Why?” Evan asked. He had the right to know at the speed this is going. “What are you going to do?”

“Time travel,” he replied, simply.

Evan’s grip on the seat arm tightened. He thought of screaming, but didn’t when he saw the look of pure concentration on Buck’s face. The other pod had gained, despite the breakneck speed.

Without warning, Buck spun the pod a full ninety degrees. He cranked the joystick thing, and Evan thought he must have left his heart behind as they shot into the sky. He screamed Bloody Mary.

His ears popped, and his eyes were clenched shut, so he didn’t hear Buck telling him to pipe down until he felt the pod slow down.

“Good god, you’d think I was torturing you in here,” Buck said, running a hand through Evan’s hair. He retreated when Evan dared to open his eyes.

“Are we dead?”

“No,” Buck said, fiddling with the camera views, scanning the area around them. “We’ve lost them, for now.”

“Where are we?”

“Hershey, still.”

Evan patted his chest, happy to hear and feel his racing heart because that meant all his organs were where they were supposed to be, in working condition. “In 1990,” he managed to croak.

Buck gave him a sideways glance. “This makes us invisible,” Buck said, pointing to a button and encouraged him to press it.

Evan knew that he was right about the year. It was one of the few gems of information Buck had let slip on his first night. He pressed the button and gasped as the pod’s shiny exterior he could see from the window, erased itself. Buck found another space to land, shielded by trees.

“Stay here,” Buck said to him as he stood, picking up a circular metallic container. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Who is Bobby?”

Buck narrowed his eyes. “You never give up, do you?”

“No.”

He opened the pod’s door. “He’s my boss. Don’t touch anything while I’m gone.”

Evan spun back in his chair as Buck stepped out. He didn’t know why he was here, with Buck, who barely tolerated him. He supposed it was better than walking around in his own house with the lights off like a ghost. So he got out of the pod and followed Buck.

Buck made his way into the Hershey hospital, the first building that wasn’t a house or store. He didn’t think of the consequences of disobeying until Buck asked for the Buckleys at the reception desk.

Evan didn’t know why his parents were at the hospital. Buck had said that he was on a rescue mission. It could be to save Maddie. But Maddie was fine now, so whatever it was, it hadn’t required saving from the future.

He still waited and shadowed Buck, dread tightening his steps. Buck stopped outside a pediatric ward. Except Buck didn’t go inside. He clutched the flask with both arms and spun on his feet, and stalked away.

Evan bit his lip. He got up to the door, perfectly able to see through the small rectangle of the door due to his last growth spurt. A family huddled together. Evan looked away at first, as if he was not supposed to even look. But this was the door Buck had stopped at. He looked again. The cot held a boy, smaller and hooked on many tubes.

What and Why burned to nothing on his tongue when he saw his own parents in the room, too. His mom was on the bed, holding the little boy’s hand. Evan stared at that link before his gaze flitted to his father, who was reading a colourful book that was clearly not the newspaper or something for his age. Evan clenched his fists. Even with his accidents and frequent stays at the hospital, this picture was not familiar to him. He could not fathom the boy in the cot as himself. They looked similar enough, with lemon hair and dimples, but it was not him, Evan knew intrinsically.

A strong hand on his shoulder wrenched him back. Buck’s red-lined eyes, furious, met his. “I told you to stay put.” Dragging Evan by the elbow, they rounded the corner and faced each other.

“I’m not your dog,” Evan said, jerking out of his grip. “That room. You’re trying to save that boy.”

Buck crossed his arms. “Go back to the pod.”

Evan was out of questions. He hated not being in the know, out of the loop. Turned out, he hated the agonizing clarity when he finally ran out of questions even more. “That boy- He- they- that’s why they hate us. Who is he?”

Buck was crying. Evan hated him. And his parents, and Maddie, and that boy with his hair and dimples.

“You have to save me, please,” Evan blurted out. “Help me.”

“We are the problem, Evan. I’m saving them from us.”

Chapter Text

“We are the problem, Evan. I’m saving them from us.”

In the white noise of the hospital, Evan began running. He didn’t remember when the beep of life support turned to cars coming alive, and when that was replaced with the hoots of owls and rustle of trees. And finally, all the noise collapses into his heart, thundering in his ears. He bent over, resting his hands on his knees to get his lungs to breathe the ample air around him.

Breathe, you idiot. Breathe.

He picked up the log nearby, letting his chest thrash as much as it pleased. Evan walked around the pod, shifting his grip on the piece of wood. His palms would sport calluses after this. It would be worth it. He swung. Wrecking things, he was good at. Always a problem.

Many times he swung, again and again, till the glass window cracked, shattered. Sweat trickled down his temples. Evan climbed in through the destruction and threw his body into the seats until they gave way at the base. All his limbs wailed and ached. He hauled the seats over his shoulder anyway, and chucked them through the gaping holes of a window. His whole body is a wall of pain. It hurt, but he knew that well. He plunged a cord-like branch into the controls and ravaged it.

He did this all while shouting curses.

When Evan made it out of the sad, dead pod, he limped to a patch of grass and lay down. The cool breeze helped, his sweat-drenched clothes clinging to his skin. He sighed heartily. Evan wondered if Maddie was waiting for him. He didn’t want to think about her, because then he’d have to think about how she and the kid in that room were related.

“You alright, kid?”

Evan startled, the deep breaths he’d been cajoling startling with him. He sat up on his elbows, immediately spotting the man coming out of the trees, his hands held up in a placating gesture.

“My family knows where I am,” he defended. It was always his first defence. As though people would see the obvious, that his family also saw him the same. Evan the feral creature, Evan the problem, Evan that to be quiet, be less, be enough. “Try it, creep.”

The man’s eyes widen, and his lips clamp shut for a short moment before they spread to a quiet smile. “I’m Bobby.”

Evan assessed the middle-aged man, sitting up more. Buck’s boss. His future boss. He and Buck are the same person; the resentment and disappointment between them were self-inflicted.

“You know who I am,” the man said, quick to catch the recognition.

Evan nodded.

“Can I sit?”

He shrugged, crossing his legs and hunching over to pick at the grass.

“Thanks. Rough night?” Bobby asked, gesturing to the pod as he sat down. He crooked his knees and folded his arms over them. “Buck loved that thing.” He gestured to the pod. 

“Good,” he muttered.

Bobby let out a low chuckle. “I came looking for him. You know where he is?”

Evan had nothing to say to Buck’s peculiar life and the people who kept coming after him. It didn’t add up. Nobody cared enough to come after him like this. It was suspicious as much as it made him green with jealousy. Buck sure had it nice.

“That’s okay,” Bobby reassured his non-response. He stole a glance at him. “I’m not sure what he told you about me. I’m his captain, so it’s my job to look out for him.”

Evan’s eyes were wet. He hadn’t cried since he was five, and he didn’t know how to get down from a tree he had climbed.

“Sometimes, my wife says, that I look out for him more than a captain would,” Bobby continued. “It’s true, I suppose.”

Evan bowed more, keeping his face hidden. Blinking back the tears doesn’t help. They pit patter to the grass, like a small, personal rain of his own making.

“I watch him throw himself into rescues, reckless and impulsive, and I’ll admit, I get angry at first. Then, I get sad. Because I wish I could have watched over him sooner.”

Evan’s sob exploded to the surface. He brought his hands to his face and cried. Bobby watched over.

Chapter Text

Buck was sitting in a hospital chair. The pediatric unit is on the same floor, but he was not sure which direction at the moment. After Evan left, he’d stumbled to the nearest set of chairs and sunk. His long legs rendered useless and wobbly, he folded into himself.

He didn’t hear Eddie sit down next to him, but he knew, the same way his pod calibrated Eddie. The two-person chair creaked. “You came.”

“Again.”

“Sorry,” he shook his head. “You should stop wasting your time on me.”

He got a huff in response. “Is that a bone marrow transplant?” he asked instead.

Buck glanced down at the flask. His gaze remained there. “I thought I could fix this. For Maddie, and- and them, I guess. They can be happy.”

“Maddie wouldn’t want that. She is happy.”

“I’m angry at her. But mostly, I’m so…” he chewed on the hateful words coming to his teeth. “How could she have beared to look at me?” A hand curled around his neck and tugged him to face Eddie.

“She loved you.”

“Come on, Eds.” His voice was torn.

“No, you come on. It wasn’t your fault, and she knew that. All she could look at you with was love.”

Buck shut his eyes because Eddie was looking at him like he believed that. As if it were the only way he could conceive, to look at Buck. He tucked his chin closer to his chest, his shoulders tightening. “I came here to fix it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I told- I told Evan to wait in the pod. He must have followed me because I saw him- he saw them- oh my god, Eddie,” his words jumbled, refusing to arrange themselves to proper order.

The sight of Evan—himself, young and much like Daniel, had been a loaded gun that he’d unknowingly pointed at himself. He and Daniel looked alike.

Buck had been a child, too.

He’d been just a child.

“I couldn’t do it to him,” he said, sitting back and staring into the sterile hospital lights. It bore white circles into his vision. “I was only a child.”

“Oh, Evan.” Eddie bullied him into his arms, cradling his head to the nook of his neck. He had turned to the side, bending his leg onto the chair to allow Buck’s body to neatly fold into his.

“I thought everything would be better off if I did this,” Buck whispered.

“I wouldn’t be,” Eddie said quickly. “I would not be better off, or okay, or anything remotely fine.”

“You’ll be fine.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment. “You’re my family.” He pressed a feather-light kiss to Buck’s hair. Eddie tilted his face up and planted a longer, firmer kiss on his birthmark. “You’re my everything, with Christopher. Understand?”

Buck nodded.

“Will you come home?” he asked with new meaning, slipping his hand into Buck’s free hand. They entwine fingers, and Buck thought maybe he could go home now.

Eddie told him that Bobby went looking for his pod and found Evan. The pod, apparently, was unsalvageable. Buck winced an apology on his lips, but Eddie shook his head. They walked out of the hospital, hand-in-hand.

The pod Bobby flew in was bigger, a stunning beauty that momentarily distracted Buck from the looming plight of having to explain himself to Bobby. Through the glass window, he saw Evan sipping on a water bottle, right up in the cock pit. He didn’t immediately get up there and yell, but it was a near thing. He still expected Evan to apologize to his dear, darling pod. Bobby stepped out of the pod, and Eddie, the traitor, slipped inside.

“Are you going to fire me?”

“You’re going to go on a medical leave for counselling. End of discussion.”

Buck frowned. He is still trying to work out his confusion as Bobby hauled him into a tight hug. “I’m not fired?” he asked, his ineloquence coming out whiny.

“Never do that again,” Bobby warned in his ear. “You’re going to give me grey hairs.”

You already have them, Buck would have said any other day. He said, “Thanks for coming to get me, Bobby.”

“I love you, kid.”

“Ye-yeah. Me too.”

Inside the pod, Eddie was showing Evan a few tricks, like making the controls change colours. They buckle in, and Buck took his spot at the front as pilot. Bobby and Eddie talk to Evan, teasing and asking questions that no one had bothered to ask before. Buck took them to Evan’s year 2007, on Christmas Eve.

Only Buck got out to lead Evan back home. Evan waved at Eddie and Bobby, his smile dropping as soon as he turned his back on them. They trekked back to the house. It’s still night, not a minute since Evan told Maddie pizza was perfect.

“So, did you save the boy?” Evan asked.

“No.” He continued, keeping his tone light. He hums. “You get to date a lot of amazing people, by the way.”

Evan’s head whipped to him. Getting answers may be the most absurd thing so far.

“You leave Pennsylvania before you’re twenty. You live out of the jeep Maddie gives you.”

“We’re homeless?”

“We were,” Buck corrected, amused by the alarm in Evan’s face. “We love travelling, though. It does us a lot of good. Trying new jobs, meeting people. To know there’s a world beyond… this.”

“Do we fall in love?”

“Often.”

Evan scowled up at him. Curiosity had him moving forward. They were nearing the house. “Do we have- are we happy?”

Buck smiled. “Not always. But our family takes care of us.”

Back at the pod, Bobby asked if Evan was okay.

“Yeah, I wiped his memories, we’re good to go!” Buck chirped. Bobby chastized him, but Eddie laughed, pasting a fond kiss on his cheek. Buck, flushed and glanced at Bobby, who only watched approvingly.

Buck was still bruised and broken, but he will keep going. His family was right here with him. That was enough. Perfect.