Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You promised Teylan that once the adventure was over, you would take him to the Zakru Graveyard. It seems like that promise was made an eternity ago. You were still young, and so was he. The weight of the death you saw and the one you caused weighs on you. On him too. You feel like you've aged a few decades in just a few months. To think that last year, you were still at TAP listening to Alma's endless lessons... Well, last year; more like last decade. You spent fifteen years in cryo... and you don't dream in cryo.

But despite how impossible it seems to you, the war is over. And you sit with Teylan by a freshly tuned Aeolian Wind Flute, listening to the instrument's song play with the old, golden bones of the deceased. You can almost imagine the music as a playful breeze playing hide-and-seek among the bones, twirling across the grass and sheltering behind the gray canyon walls.

Teylan knows how you delve into your memories to find the meaning of one totem or another, your almost ridiculous ability to invent meaning from a beautiful but meaningless landscape. He knows you see stories everywhere. Today, he demands one from you. One he's never heard before.

This poor boy knows so few legends that you could tell him almost anything, but you can't bring yourself to talk nonsense when you see his cheerful, innocent face. So you search your memory... and find the following story.

Whether you are exaggerating again by pulling out a meaning from under your loincloth when seeing a totem in front of waterfalls... or whether this story is a very real memory that comes back to you...

Chapter Text

Long ago, before the first Sawtute arrived on our beautiful Pandora, in those times when Pandora was not Pandora but Eywa'eveng, there existed a woman made of light. We all have tanhì, those luminous freckles that allow us to recognize each other at night. But this woman had too many. Every cell of her skin was luminous. Like a star fallen from the sky, she walked in a bath of white light, illuminating everything in her path.

Unable to hunt, because she was frankly too visible night and day, this woman stayed in her Tree-house and busied herself cleaning, sewing and cooking. She spent the night near Eywa, because its light then mingled with that of the sacred tree and did not disturb her compatriots.

As a child, this woman would go outside, deprived of the responsibilities of normal children, and venture as far as she wished, knowing that her peers would find her by the intense light she produced. She would then find small Na'vi camps filled with people who did not yet know her, and who would kneel before her and pray to Eywa. Wherever she went, people treated her with the utmost deference, seeing in her a sign, even a messenger from the Great Mother. This attention could have made her a pest; but the child had a kind heart. She received gifts with grace but gave them back to others, and never refused to visit the bedside of a sick or bereaved person.

As she grew older, this woman traveled less and busied herself more. Elders and the sick traveled to her. The Omatikayas' home was crowded with travelers like never before, all seeking a prayer, a touch of the hand, or even a simple glance from the woman of light, the envoy of Eywa. Some came from far away to die in her arms after receiving her blessing; others sought a miracle that would heal them and begged her to touch them, wash them, or kiss them. However, this woman had no spectacular gifts, powers, or skills. Her only extraordinary quality was her kindness. Without daring to prove them wrong, she offered the travelers water and medicines, then prepared their meals. This simple attention earned her the most heartfelt compliments; then she laughed and brushed off their adoration with a wave of her white hand.

This woman had lived a simple and gentle life, merciful perhaps to her body but trying to her heart and mind. She knew no exhilaration from flying on an ikran, had never run until she fell over from exhaustion on the great roots that bound the floating mountains together, and would not have known how to shoot a bow. Her clothes were loose and delicate, made of the softest kinglor silk the Aranahes could find for her. She let her hair grow until it touched the ground and brushed it every morning and night with a zakru brush given to her by a particularly pious Zeswa rider. No weapon bore her name; no satchel was her own. She owned the largest room in the Tree-House; sometimes she heard her countrymen gathering behind her door to pray to Eywa. When they did, in order to respect their privacy, she would go out to join the sacred tree of Eywa. She finally felt Na'vi there. Under the shiny, pink branches, she felt small, even tiny, nestled under Eywa's maternal shadow.

She sometimes wondered what her life would have been like if her skin hadn't been luminous. At her age, a new warrior would surely have proposed to her, and she would probably be on her second child, unless she'd had twins, in which case she would be on her third. She would have been happy in a different way. She would have lived a life of dirty feet in the mud, of roaring laughter with her hunting party, of gathering by the stream, of perhaps being nudged by an exasperated teacher. She would have had a mother and a sister, a grandmother and a grandfather; but different from her own, because they would have seen her as a Na'vi and not a goddess.

It would have taken incredible nerve to dare to fall in love with the personification of Eywa, and a terrible lack of manners to treat her as an equal and not revere her properly. The Omatikaya and their neighbors were convinced that her glowing skin was proof of her divinity. After so many years, the woman didn't dare tell them otherwise. She lived in fear that they would feel betrayed when they finally noticed that she was perfectly normal. She would wake with a start in the middle of the night after dreaming that an angry Kame'tire had called her a false goddess and a charlatan, after which the Omatikaya had banished her. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the Na'vi trusted their shamans and their sahìk, and the tsahìk Omatikaya had been categorical from the moment the light-skinned baby was born: this child was a gift, even a messenger, from Eywa, their Great Mother. Period. No discussion possible.

The real blessing, the woman told herself, was in her heart: it was indeed miraculous that she was naturally disposed to help others. If she had had the temperament of her sister, a slightly too intense huntress whose ikran never shut up, she probably would have run away every day to play in the mud and scare away lizards instead of doing what she had actually been doing, which was pretending she understood why people cried when they saw her and offering them tissues to wipe their noses. Besides, the other children wouldn't have wanted to play with her, and she loved animals too much to play at scaring them. She already scared them just because she was shiny. She had spent her childhood far from the mud holes of children, far from the shouts of joy and the endless arguments, and had spent it consoling the weeping grandfathers, and building a strong shell to be able to bear the sight of the wounded brought to her. While the fathers taught their sons to hunt fish, she had learned to kiss the foreheads scratched by scaled tails and to wipe the little cheeks full of tears; and while the little girls listened to the stories of their grandmother's first love, she had held the old wrinkled hands and murmured prayers while Grandmother breathed her last after one last story.

Despite her experience and strong shell, the woman of light sometimes mourned the dead. She mourned them if she had known them, if they were young, or if their circumstances were painful; but above all, she mourned them if she saw their loved ones react to their death. So she left the Tree-house and shut herself away in solitude, knowing as usual that her clan would have no trouble finding her, whether she stayed close or went far away.

The woman of light went very far that night. She walked through the ferns, got tangled in the explosive pods, stepped on a blood urchin, and tangled her hair everywhere. It took her a lot of time, patience, and tears of exasperation to escape from her silken prison; and when she was out, she chose to follow the river, holding her long hair in her arms.

Despite her efforts to calm them, the herds of blue and yellow fa'li fled neighing; but the large palulukan with black skin and a snout like a carnivorous plant did not chase her, also frightened by her light and running away spitting. The woman tried to reassure a small 'angtsìk far from its mother; she was luckier, for the little one, trembling against the rock on which it was huddled, was too terrified to run away. She had almost laid her hand on its flat snout when its mother shattered a bamboo tile behind them; bellowing loudly, the venerable animal struck a blow with its hammer-like snout that sent the poor young woman flying through the ferns, bushes, and remaining bamboo.

The woman of light went very undivinely to crash on the other side of the river, where she sank into the mud and was colored from head to toe in a lovely, warm brown slush. She chose to laugh about it. She had never been so mistreated, never had anything or anyone sent her flying through the air, and never, ever had she played in the mud. Like a baby experiencing its first rain, she waded through the cold, sticky mud, filled her hands with it to see it flow through her fingers, even tasted it, once to know the taste, the other to get closer to the mud, to have it all over her. The woman laughed heartily as she wriggled in her cold bath until every inch of her dress was stained, and her manicured nails were blackened. She then began to store the mud in her hair until it was heavy, then she tried to run, laughing at the absurd weight she had created. But as night fell, the weather grew colder, and she didn't want the Omatikayas to miss finding her with this mud hiding her light, the young woman, still laughing, preferred to wash herself in the stream.

The water felt wonderfully soft on her bruised legs. The long walk, followed by the ungainly slam, had been fun, very fun, even, but no less taxing on the woman of light's atrophied endurance. Now, the crystal-clear water of the night stream soothed her muscles, her cuts, and her bruises. Soon, she was free of the mud; the fish swam away, and she watched them and their stony ecosystem through the light that played gently with the ripples. Since her hair still felt heavy, she dove into the shallow water and swam briskly to the waterfall. Holding her nose, she squealed with joy and let herself fall with the current. She had never felt so alive. She landed in the river with a resounding crack and emerged, smiling, her hair plastered to her face, shoulders, and arms. Some fish had gotten tangled in her hair; she kissed them, then threw them back into the water. They did not appreciate this gesture of affection and only escaped further.

The young woman then heard voices. Guessing that her compatriots had found her, she dried herself as best she could, then headed towards them. She decided to start going out again to have fun in the wilds of Eywa'eveng. Buoyed by this resolution, she returned to the riverbank...

Chapter Text

Captain Joey Campbell had never wanted an Avatar, but he'd been forced to wear one "to avoid scaring the aborigines during this reconnaissance mission." He would have much preferred his new AMP, but his rank didn't allow him to argue with his superiors, so he'd lay back in the shell and let the technology do the rest. Out of spite, he'd flicked the arm of that blue monkey skin as punishment for existing, forgetting that he was in it, precisely, that blue monkey skin. He grimaced and tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Luckily, his group of incompetent Avatars didn't give a damn about their captain. They were too busy kicking ferns and complaining about their fate. Joey would have joined them, but he was the captain, and couldn't start complaining, too, or he'd lose the respect of his recruits. So he chose to remain silent, glaring at his horrible blue reflection in the scope of his submachine gun. He had never liked the wicked green witch in The Wizard of Oz, and he didn't like the wicked blue monkeys either.

"This suuuuuucks," complained one recruit. "It's hot, it sucks! When are we going to kill ourselves some blue monkey?"

"Look in the mirror and shoot it," his neighbor sneered.

“No one forced you onto the ship. Now shut up,” Captain Campbell ordered. “And for any of you still wondering, our mission is clear. We're here to pacify any hostiles who might interfere with the construction of Hell's Gate. So just shut up and focus.”

"Yes, Captain, roger," purred the first recruit, a woman whose Avatar was in serious need of plastic surgery.

Aliens were ugly, but seeing one with a caricature of a human face was the last straw. The recruit's pointed nose looked like a pyramid in the middle of his nose. Captain Campbell grimaced in disgust every time he laid eyes on it.

"We're so ugly," grumbled another recruit, a man whose eyes weren't working.

They were globular and made him look like one of those old deep-sea fish that had died after the oceans were razed hundreds of years ago. Campbell didn't miss Earth's nature. He hated animals, and the idea that there might be a fish roaming free somewhere sent shivers down his spine. He preferred the oceans bare, cold, and riddled with concrete buildings. He preferred concrete buildings to almost any kind of nature, in fact. He wept with joy at the thought of that horrible blue scrub razed and reduced to ashes, then populated with buildings and people, like on Earth. On Earth, there were no more oceans, no more forests, no more wheat fields or cow farms. Only concrete, buildings, parking lots, and ship ports. He could not wait for Pandora to follow.

"There's no one uglier than you," the woman sneered.

"Are you dreaming? Look at MacIntosh's Avatar, and see!" protested the man with the bulging eyes.

"SHUT UP!" Joey Campbell barked, but his men watched MacIntosh anyway—silently, at least.

The woman with the pyramidal nose and the man with the fish-like eyes exchanged a disgusted look. The man named MacIntosh had a long, boring face, like his real one, but even worse. He was the one who had suggested that the woman with the nose shoot at the mirror; and he, too, would have done the same. Only bookworms liked the Na'vi. They would have taken fifteen Avatars each; but the soldiers hated the idea of ​​having only one.

All this to say that Joey Campbell hated the Na'vi... until right now.

Because he had just seen a long woman's body unfold from behind a bush, framed by a cascade of snow-white hair. The woman was tall and slim, clad in a kind of white bikini that flapped around her in the wind like insect wings. Her body had been "sculpted by skillful divine hands that had given her hips as round as apples, a belly as kneadable as bread dough, and breasts like rosebuds" (dixit, please, dixit, don't kill me). Her hands were delicate and tapered, her nails perfectly manicured and shiny, her lips full and fleshy, and her eyes! Her nose! Her face! Real Na'vi features, not caricatures—features more beautiful than even human ones. Her white eyes shone with innocence and purity; she wore her endless hair like a halo and a bridal train rolled into one. Her graceful tail and flower-petal ears made Joey realize that it was possible to be attracted to feline features. As if to mock the captain's dazed state, the woman radiated a warm glow, like an angel fallen from the heavens—the very creature to which he compared her. He found her so beautiful that he instantly forgot that he hated the Na'vi.

Chapter Text

“Aww,” Teylan says.

Since he adores humans so much, it's no surprise that he likes the idea of ​​a romance between a Na'vi and a Tawtute. It pains you to dash his hopes, but you don't dare imagine his disappointment in the other case. So you warn him:

"No, no, don't get too attached, ma'Teylan. It's not... well, you'll see."

Chapter Text

Captain Joey Campbell had met the woman of light by chance. He had fallen instantly in love with her. Mesmerized by the sight, he almost forgot that he was surrounded by five recruits thirsting for alien blood. Five rifles rose simultaneously toward the enemy... then lowered pitifully as the captain raised his fist to stop them.

"Na'vi ahead!" protested the plain-faced recruit, hoping that his superior officer had simply not seen the enemy and would then wake up, allowing them to run riot.

"I know!" Captain Campbell snapped.

The woman of light was surprised. Never had a Na'vi reacted with fear upon seeing her for the first time. These people acted more like animals. Even though she had never succeeded in calming a beast, she tried again: arms outstretched in front of her, hands open in a sign of peace, she advanced slowly, careful not to appear too tall or step on anything fragile. She looked at the one who had raised his fist, assuming he was their leader.

"Easy...easy...I don't mean you any harm..." she breathed.

The captain looked like he'd been slapped in the face when he heard her voice. He made his decision immediately. This woman would accompany him to Hell's Gate, period, and the hierarchy could go to sh--

“I see you, oeyä tsmukan… I am unarmed… I am the death doula of the Omatikaya clan… My name is Tanhìnrr,” she continued, quietly creeping towards the group, who backed away, hissing and shouting like the fa'li she had encountered earlier.

"What do we do, Captain?" panicked the fish-eyed man.

"Shut up!" Campbell yelled, and stood to his full height before the beautiful stranger. "Na'vi! I am Captain Joey Campbell of the RDA! I order you to follow us to Hell's Gate as my prisoner."

Of course, the woman of light, Tanhìnrr, did not know the Sawtute language. She saw Campbell's behavior as a sort of display intended to intimidate his opponent and began whispering again to calm him. The captain, mortified with shame, turned crimson.

"Are we taking prisoners now?" asked the unremarkable man.

"The captain is being hypnotized by a blue monkey!" sneered the pyramid woman, completely ignoring him.

"If he's hypnotized for fifteen minutes, do you think we're allowed to leave?" joked the fish-man.

It was all too much. To regain control of the situation, Joey Campbell raised his weapon and took a shot into a hidden fruit growing nearby. The fruit exploded, shell included, spilling its juice everywhere. Suddenly, the recruits weren't laughing anymore. All the humor in the situation was gone.

"YES, WE'RE TAKING PRISONERS! AND IF I CATCH YOU LAUGHING AGAIN, I'LL SEND YOU TO A COURT-MARTIAL! HOW ABOUT A COURT-MARTIAL?" thundered the captain.

"NO, CAPTAIN! SORRY, CAPTAIN!" the recruits yelled, rushing to grab their prisoner by the armpits to make amends to their leader.

"AND SHUT UP ONCE AND FOR ALL!" Captain Campbell concluded, and he started smiling again, but he was the only one.

Shocked, silenced, Tanhìnrr kept her hand pressed over her mouth, aware that something was very, very wrong. This new clan was wasting food, mistreating Eywa's gifts. But her mind liked to find excuses for the worst behavior, and her discomfort slowly faded.

Chapter Text

The woman of light was led to a place unlike anything she had ever seen before. She was unfamiliar with the materials these dwellings were made of. Their smell was overpowering, but she was used to bad odors and kept silent out of politeness, for she would have been horrified if, by some misfortune, she had hurt her new friends. Their ways were new; they grabbed her and pulled her here and there. People liked to touch her, but never so roughly. Tanhìnrr, however, was delighted: a new clan! What's more, a clan she had found first!

She busied herself with curbing her enthusiasm, for these buildings smelled of death and blood. She wasn't familiar with the smell of metal, so similar to that of a wound, and she thought she was at the site of a massacre. That would certainly explain the strange behavior of these new Na'vi. They must need help.

She was dragged to a small, square cave and then thrown hard into the bottom. The door slammed shut and refused to open again. Saddened by her new friends' abrupt behavior, the young woman tried to dismiss their lack of manners with a neutral eye. They must be very afraid of her to defend their territory so fiercely... unless they were keeping her here to eat later. The thought made her laugh and chased away her depression.

As the hours passed, the vague anxiety gave way to unpleasant stomach ache. This cave without sky, water, or food frightened her. She wanted to see the sky and walk in the grass… Far be it from her to insult her new friends, but she missed home. She longed to return to the Omatikayas' campfires and their unrealistic hunting stories. To reassure herself, she told herself that perhaps they were preparing something to eat, or even a show…

But time passed, and no one came in. Tanhìnrr risked knocking on the door. She received no answer. A horrible thought struck her: would she even be fed?

As hunger filled her, and the cold chilled her bones, she began to blame herself for having so readily followed these strange Na'vi. Then came anger: How could the Na'vi treat her like this? Why had they locked her up here? Because she was locked up. Was it their hospitality? A freezing room with no windows or food? Or had she done or said something that made them think she wanted to spend time in these conditions?

Her thoughts wandered to her clan. She imagined telling this story to her compatriots. The children would laugh.

Tanhìnrr eventually became so cold and hungry that she could only sleep to spare herself. As she tried to find a more comfortable place than the floorboards (and failed), she felt guilty for doubting her own people's intentions. The Na'vi were good people. Everything would be okay. They must have had good reasons for doing what they did. Perhaps they believed she was contagious.

Then her frustration returned. She couldn't sleep on such a hard floor. She didn't want to seem ungrateful, but she simply couldn't sleep and kept tossing and turning. She only calmed down when she realized her long hair could serve as a cushion. Ashamed, she bundled up and laughed. Her new friends must have thought she wouldn't need a bed to sleep in. That made sense.

Without knowing how much time had passed, she was startled awake by the sound of the door opening. Two brown children without kuru entered the room, followed by the Na'vi man she had met… the day before? Earlier that night?

Tanhìnrr thought they were sick and wanted to hug them, but the man raised his arm to stop her. She tried to ask him questions, and he asked her questions too, but it was clear they didn't speak the same language. Meanwhile, the children played strange but amusing games; they pulled her hair, looked at her kuru, poked her tongue with a stick, and hit her knees with a small hammer. Their games delighted the young woman, who gladly complied. As they played, she watched them. Their eyes were tiny, their noses were hollow, and their nostrils were mushroom-shaped. She couldn't see their tails or their kuru, but she reasoned that they might be hidden under their thick layer of clothing. She had never seen anyone dressed so warmly. They must be freezing, poor things...

Again she tried to hug them, but they reacted by jumping out of her reach and shouting something she didn't understand. Those poor children... From the look of their skin, they must have had a late-stage infection, or even healing burns. The young woman was dying to observe them and rub ointment into their poor little arms...

All this time, the man watched her. She finally noticed and felt ashamed of having ignored him for so long. To make up for it, she took his hand and placed it on her chest.

“Tanhìnrr,” she said.

The man didn't seem to understand, so she patted his chest with her own hand.

“Tanhìnrr,” she repeated.

"She's telling you her name, you moron," one of the children mocked.

"I know!" barked the man, but Tanhìnrr, who hated hearing people scold their children, gently placed her hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"Tell him yours, then!" protested the child.

"Shut up!"

"That's really the only thing soldiers know how to say, huh?" the other child muttered.

"Shut up!" the captain yelled.

The children began to laugh among themselves. Captain Campbell didn't understand what he'd said that was so funny and returned to his contemplation of the beautiful Na'vi girl. No one took him seriously on this damn base. He had to hurry up and move up the ranks. If he was lucky, this capture would earn him some brownie points.

"Hurry up and finish your stupid tests and get the hell out of here," Campbell muttered under his breath.

The children obediently finished their games and left without asking for more. Tanhìnrr sighed sadly. She liked the children, and hoped they would return soon.

She returned her attention to the man and noticed he had five fingers instead of four. Curious, she took his hand to get a better look, then thought he might be ashamed and let go. She began her communication exercise again:

"Tanhìnrr," she said.

The captain opened his mouth, then grimaced and closed it again. He wouldn't be caught saying such a ridiculous word. Like a good colonizer, he invented a new name for it:

“Tammy,” he replied proudly.

"Tan... hìn... rrrrrrr," the young woman said slowly, but he had the nerve to shake his head and insist forcefully:

"Tammy."

"Tammy? Taaaaammyyyyy…" Tanhìnrr repeated, smiling, seeing it as a simple nickname. "What a lovely name! Okay, I'll be Tammy. And who are you?"

She patted her new friend's chest.

"Captain Joey Campbell of the RDA," he declared proudly.

"Cap... tain..." she tried.

Campbell grimaced.

"Or just Joey."

Chapter Text

"Hey, why can't I get attached to this guy? He seems nice, right?" Teylan asks you innocently, so innocently that you start to laugh. "I mean, he reminds me of Mercer—I mean—not—I mean—I mean..."

You keep laughing.

"Oh no, don't tell me the captain dies at the end of the story?" your friend asks worriedly, and your laughter redoubles.

After a few endless minutes, you calm down and manage to answer him.

"Well, I mean... you'll see..."

That's not a very good answer, but there's nothing else you can say.

Chapter Text

The young woman smiled warmly at this Joey.

"Joey," she repeated happily, and he nodded.

From then on, the captain was most attentive. He brought her food and drink and sat with her for the meal, brought her a mattress and a woolen blanket for the night, and watched the children when they returned to examine her once more. Tanhìnrr was delighted by his attentions, which seemed friendly and not due to the adoration to which she was accustomed.

As the days passed, she learned the basics of the language her new friends spoke—yes, no, come away, food, water. Their hospitality was strange, but she didn't feel threatened. A rhythm had been established. Joey was incredibly generous, almost frightening. She woke up every morning to fresh water, and if she was a light sleeper, she could hear him creep into his cave, watch her for a while, then leave her something to drink. He also brought her food. The meals tasted terrible, but she didn't dare complain. They fed her and housed her, after all.

Joey showed her light patterns that moved by themselves, or played music from invisible instruments. She didn't know that all the songs were love songs. Movies fascinated her; they spent long hours sitting together, watching the moving patterns and listening to the voices and sounds that accompanied them. His eyes and ears were fixed on the screen, but he was only looking at her. He barely reacted to the story, but he didn't lose his reactions.

Tanhìnrr wasn't used to suitors. She thought he was simply affectionate by nature—like her, in fact. Doubt crept into her mind the day he rested his head on her thigh. She didn't dare push him away immediately, but as her discomfort grew by the second, she stammered an apology as she repositioned herself. He mumbled an apology in turn as he sat back down properly. A horrifying feeling of guilt washed over her when she realized she wanted to leave the room. She held it back, especially since it was impossible.

Joey continued to be charming, but something had changed. Tanhìnrr noticed the way his eyes constantly followed hers, and didn't miss the syrupy warmth they radiated. The affection in his gaze surprised her. They knew so little about each other and knew almost nothing about each other… but that didn't stop Joey from snuggling up to her whenever he had the chance, putting his arm around her shoulders, or taking her hand when they went out.

Because they sometimes went out. The brown children often came forward and guided her out of her little cave. Joey always followed her, his arm around her or his hand in hers. Tanhìnrr would then pull away, but he would forget his refusal after a few minutes and start his routine again.

The children welcomed her into their playground, a large white cave that smelled of strong alcohol, and showed her other games: they pricked her with small needles, gave her blue-green dresses, and asked her to lie down. She fell asleep quickly, and they adorned her with small colored threads, transparent masks, and other of their toys. Tanhìnrr knew nothing of these games, but she wanted to learn. The children never agreed to play with her; she knew how lucky she was and wanted to take advantage of it.

They were absolutely adorable. When they hurt her while playing, they would quickly dress her wounds with little pieces of cloth. They would get angry when she didn't follow their rules and start pricking her with their little needles again; then she would laugh, push their little hands away, and go back to playing. She couldn't take the anger of such young children seriously. Their needles didn't hurt very much, and in fact, Tanhìnrr's sister sometimes said that she had hurt herself terribly while playing with her ikran, which didn't seem to discourage her from doing it again.

During those first weeks, she tried to determine what illness the children were suffering from. They didn't seem to be suffering, in fact. They were agile and didn't tremble; they didn't seem to be in pain when she touched them, just scared.

She eventually understood the rules of their game, which greatly disturbed her. They tore off pieces of her skin and hid the wound under bandages; they pricked her with needles to collect her blood; they rubbed white sticks against the inside of her cheek, her nostril, and her ear to get samples of saliva, snot, and earwax. They acted like healers, but she didn't know what they wanted to cure. The only thing she understood was the transparent mask they made her wear. Joey wore one, too. It allowed him to breathe their air.

Tanhìnrr asked Joey if he knew what the children were doing, but Joey didn't understand the point of his question. She was patting the bandage that covered the scar from yet another blood test; he took her wrist and kissed it. The young woman smiled to mask her discomfort, trying to exchange it for affection. The children eyed the captain with contempt, anger, and even fear. Joey didn't miss it.

The next day, very early in the morning, he burst into her little cave. A pin glittered on his chest. He had been promoted to the rank of major and had been transferred elsewhere, he explained to her (she didn't understand a word of it and simply smiled back).

"Do you realize! Promoted! Promoted to the rank of commander!" he repeated. "And the best part is, Hell's Gate knows nothing about the Western Frontier operations. We'll have carte blanche! We can do anything!"

Carried away by his enthusiasm, Joey grabbed Tanhìnrr's hands and clasped them in his own. He was jubilant.

"Can you believe it, Tammy? You and I, alone in the middle of the forest, with nothing for miles around! Oh, a few blood tests from time to time, a few new patients—just routine, just to reassure the hierarchy, nothing too serious—and total freedom the rest of the time!"

Tanhìnrr was on his third hypothesis; maybe he had just learned that his mother had given birth to a little brother… She smiled at him again, and Joey's hand pressed to her cheek.

"Do you realize, Tammy..." he sighed, leaning his head closer to hers.

Was he going to kiss her? Tanhìnrr's mind bubbled with a thousand thoughts in a split second.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I just... I just..." Joey justified himself, and sure enough, he ended up kissing her.

So that was what a kiss was like… Warm lips on yours. Tanhìnrr tried to kiss him back to see if she liked it, but almost felt sick, a feeling of disgust and unease so powerful that she had to tear herself away from his grip. She had always thought she would have butterflies in her stomach and her mind on fire; but those limp lips evoked no feeling, no tenderness. She had tried to touch his face, but the contact, strangely, repelled her. His skin simply displeased her. His scent too. Everything about him told her to move away. That kiss lasted only two seconds: one for him to kiss her, another for her to kiss him back like a scientific experiment; and by the third second, she was gone.

He was even apologizing before she came to her senses.

“Why did you do that?” Tanhìnrr asked, stunned.

He seemed to understand the meaning of her sentence and replied:

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"I don't think I feel the same way about you," the young woman murmured, feeling terribly sorry for her friend.

"I know," Joey muttered.

It was strange to have some semblance of a normal conversation despite the thick barrier separating them. Tanhìnrr decided the message had gotten through. As an apology, she stroked Joey's cheek and offered him a sad smile. He must have understood, she reasoned, since he wasn't talking anymore. He buried his head in her lap and stared at the wall for a few seconds. Feeling pity, she let him do this for a moment before gently pulling away. Campbell came to his senses and gathered the few things he'd given Tanhìnrr into a duffel bag he'd tossed in a corner when he arrived. The young woman guessed they were going somewhere and helped him pack everything. When they left the room, Joey took her hand. She pushed him away...

…but that didn't stop her from resting her head on his lap for a good portion of the helicopter ride to the Western Frontier. Again, she pushed him away, pretending she was just trying to straighten her legs; Joey just put his arm around her shoulders. The AMP recruits glared at them. If Tanhìnrr had known they were horribly racist toward the Na'vi, she would have at least been happy to see that their racism had its upsides, like hating this situation between Joey and herself. But she was so surprised to see an AMP that she almost forgot about the whole mess she'd been dragged into.

A child in a pod of shiny stone... a hearth-fruit, of sorts, or a snail. She reached out to touch this strange armor...

"These blue monkeys stink..." muttered the man inside the AMP.

"Shut up," the woman sitting next to him growled.

“I love my AMP!” someone else enthused.

"You must have won the award for most annoying person on Earth!" another ranted.

"SHUT UP!" barked Captain Campbell—well, Commander Campbell.

The soldiers seemed to respect the commanders more than the captains, for the order spread like wildfire and silence fell immediately.

"Aww," said Tanhìnrr, who didn't like children being scolded.

"We don't even tie it up, Commander? We usually transport them in cages... or dead, we transport them dead, and much better, too," an AMP sneered, and the snickers spread through the cockpit.

"Not mine," Commander Campbell replied proudly.

All eyes were on him. He seemed to be basking in his team's attention like a fern in the sun.

"How did you do it, Commander?" a recruit asked, his eyes shining with admiration. "Did you fight?"

"I was warned you had a knack for dealing with the natives, but seeing it with my own eyes is different," said one AMP. "The eggheads are going to be happy... How many do you plan to bring back?"

"Are you thinking of stuffing it and bringing it to Earth for your living room?" another recruit asked, making his comrades laugh.

"What's your name?" the commander asked.

"MacIntosh, Commander!" cried the recruit.

The same MacIntosh with the boring face. It's true, his face was pretty ugly, but nothing like his Avatar.

"You're really stupid, MacIntosh," Commander Campbell concluded, puffing out his chest like a proud rooster when his henhouse erupted in sniggers. "And I'm not in this for the money. I'm keeping this one for the bookworms. They love to experiment on it."

"And it never tried to escape? That's stupid..." a recruit whispered.

Joey looked at Tanhìnrr, as if to say, "We fooled them pretty well, don't you think?" But she had no idea what they were talking about and was looking through the hole in the side of the helicopter to see the forest passing beneath her feet.

"Watch out, Commander, the blue monkey is trying to escape," warned an AMP.

"It's not," the commander sighed as if this idea were particularly stupid.

"But how do you keep it like that?" sighed another.

Commander Campbell leaned forward. The recruits did the same. Tanìnrr spotted a small group of Aranahe fishermen in the distance and waved wildly at them. The Na'vi, who had begun to howl at the sight of this strange thing in their sky, recognized it and pointed at it, but kept screaming. The warriors put down their spears and began to fall to their knees, weeping and cursing. The helicopter left them behind in a flood of screams and tears that greatly disturbed the woman of light. She hadn't caught any of their words over the din of the propeller, but it was clear they were desperate to see her up there.

Then the unthinkable happened: her hair got caught in the propeller and was cut off. Tanhìnrr began to scream in horror and grief. Unbeknownst to her, the Aranahes had seen the tragedy unfold, and they had immediately rushed to retrieve her hair.

"Well," Joey said. "I thought you might need a haircut. Come on, don't cry. It looks much better on you."

He patted the young woman's back as if he hadn't noticed her screaming. Her face bathed in tears, her heart bleeding, Tanhìnrr dove into Joey's arms and buried her nose in his jacket.

“I’ve never cut my hair in my life. The tip was from my birth… My whole story is gone… Ma’Joey, it was my necklace-of-life, it was the song of my life…” she hiccuped between sobs. “I had placed beads on it for every death, every kiss, and every new encounter… I had so many… Oh! All the deaths now forgotten… The babies I held in my arms… The sick I healed… Oh, Ma’Joey, take me home, I beg you. I must go home.”

She gestured toward the hole in the cockpit, but the helicopter didn't land; she grabbed Joey's shirt and pleaded with him through tear-filled eyes. He seemed uncomfortable and patted her back again, until he realized he was holding her. He began rubbing her back in a very intimate and uncomfortable way.

"So that's how he does it?" one AMP muttered to another.

Commander Campbell scowled and didn't smile again for a long time. Ironically, he only smiled again at the worst possible moment, guiding Tanhìnrr's eyes into a nightmarish vision.

Outside, beneath them, AMPs burned the forest with their flame-breathing arms. Huge trucks ripped deep into the earth behind them, removing every trace of vegetation to feed the hungry mouths of the towers belching inky smoke. Tanhìnrr had never seen anything like it. Stunned, she watched the nightmarish machines destroy the archer groves, the healing faywll, the giant tree trunks where the pamtseowll grew, dry up the river, and overturn the rocks bearing acrid pods…

She covered her eyes and ears, trying to convince herself it was just a bad dream, but the agonizing screech of the machines and the hellish whir of the flames persisted. The helicopter had stopped above the seemingly endless massacre, adding noise to the already existing cacophony. And Joey was smiling.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Think about it… All this nature razed! Finally! Civilization! Buildings! Parking lots! Restaurants!”

Then she saw the worst thing she had ever seen. In the sooty rubble ran a burning yerik.

Tanhìnrr couldn't hold it in any longer. She freed herself from the commander's grasp and jumped screaming from the helicopter. The soldiers' shouts were lost in the roar of the destructive machines. She landed on a soft clod of earth and ran at full speed toward the poor yerik. The AMPs and construction workers began to scream and run away as they saw the enormous, luminous Na'vi hurl itself at them like Eywa's vengeful envoy. The air smelled of smoke, a kind of smoke she didn't recognize and that smelled of death. The earth beneath her feet had been pounded by the treads of hundreds of yellow vehicles, punctured where trees had been uprooted, pockmarked with the persistent roots of grass, bushes, and plants. Through this devastated landscape, she continued her mad dash, until the animal threw itself into a wet mud hole in its efforts to escape. The flames died down, but the ungulate didn't take a moment to breathe and ran even further, leaving the fire of hell behind.

The woman of light fell to her knees and didn't react when Joey grabbed her arm and pulled her up. She didn't listen to what he had to say. She thought about the horror of the flaming animal running without stopping, desperate and helpless. She couldn't get the image out of her head. She had never seen anything more horrible, more disgusting.

"Joey... Why are you doing this?" she said in a diaphanous voice.

"You escaped from the helicopter!" Joey roared, but she could barely hear him, unable to shake the memory of the yerik.

Why were these brown children so horrible?

But they were only children. Perhaps they didn't understand. Through the sob that choked her throat, the woman of light bent down to gently take the wrist of a child in a yellow vest, but he jumped out of her reach, groaning something. A sob escaped her, then another, taking her breath away, suffocating her. Never had Tanhìnrr met such horrible, monstrous children. These children had stolen her flesh and stung her arms to fill bags with her blood!

But maybe they were different children. Maybe they weren't a united group...

"Ma'Joey, tell them to stop," she begged under her breath, finally realizing that Joey was agitated.

"I'm not mad because you ran away. I'm just disappointed," he explained. "I'm taking you up in a helicopter to show you our new house, and you run away... In front of my new men, no less... But I'm not mad. Next time, I won't do that without asking you first."

She didn't know what he was talking about.

"I mean, it took a while to find a helicopter, and a pilot who has nothing better to do... I managed to get promoted so we could live together... I feel like you don't appreciate everything I've done. But I'm not mad. I won't do it again," Joey continued.

Hunger was beginning to gnaw at the young woman, weakening her further. The smell, noise, and presence of all those vehicles and furnaces weren't helping. She dragged herself after Joey, not listening to what he was saying, and only came to life when he offered her a bag of food.

“Don't go alone. It's dangerous. You don't know us yet. There are horrible humans out there. Please let me protect you,” Joey whispered in her ear, tenderly, cheerful again. “Trust me. Follow me, now.”

Again he put his arm around her shoulders, but Tanhìnrr pushed him away.

"I just want to touch you," Joey protested softly, putting his arm back.

She shivered, not daring to push him away again. She devoured the meal he offered her, then fell into a fitful sleep. She wasn't sure if what happened next was part of her dream: Joey's arm around her, holding her close, and his head on hers, kissing her hair.

Chapter Text

The woman of light wept for a long time when she awoke. She felt as if she were naked without her long hair. She tried to remember all the beads she had made, but there were so many that she lost count and burst into tears once again. Joey had gone away, but he had left her something to eat and drink. She wasn't hungry. Sadness had tied up her stomach. She drank anyway, then stared at a point in the horizon ahead without bothering to wipe the tears from her face.

After several long minutes of not seeing anything, a brown-haired child appeared before her, offering her the same gifts Joey always brought her: a bottle of water and a ration. The child smiled broadly at her and even began to speak to her. His poor, deep voice! She hoped it was a simple deformity, not a painful illness. Smiling back, her tail flapping playfully behind her, she patted the bench she had been sitting on. The child smiled again and approached it. It wasn't a bench; it was an enormous pipe. The child was too small to reach it and would have had to climb dangerously over it if Tanhìnrr hadn't offered her arm for him to hold on to.

This child was in a very good mood. He chattered like a magpie while taking her arm. The young woman began to smile too. This boy was adorable. He rested his head on her lap, which made her laugh, because his affectionate behavior reminded her of Joey. Laughing, she patted her thighs. The child sat there enthusiastically. To make him laugh, she hid his face in her hands, then emerged with a comical noise. The child seemed confused, but amused. He took off his mask, clung to her arm, and looked at her adoringly…

Then he kissed her arm. Tanhìnrr was disgusted, angry, confused, and finally laughed. She pressed her finger to her little nose and said "boop," then couldn't hold it in any longer and squashed her cheeks together. The little boy looked similarly confused and amused once again. He put his mask back on, took a deep breath, then stood up on his tiny feet. He touched Tanhìnrr's cheek, looking at her with the same syrupy adoration as Joey, then took off his mask and tried to kiss her.

"No, no, no, no, no," the young woman said, pulling away.

The child sighed heavily, took her hand, and climbed down the pipe. Tanhìnrr, who was beginning to get tired of these brown children, felt sick and followed him. They passed through a large door that seemed to weigh as much as a mountain. They waited a few moments, then the child removed his mask, took the young woman's hand again, and went through another door. He dragged her through a maze of gray and white rooms that smelled of alcohol, sweat, and rations. Everywhere, brown children without masks were eating, walking around, or laughing among themselves. They were not supervised by any adult. Maybe they wanted a mother... Maybe Joey and his five friends (whom she had never seen again, by the way) were in charge of this veritable pack and needed her help taking care of them. If that were the case, she would teach them better games. Pulling off skin and sucking blood was not an acceptable pastime. She would also teach them not to kiss people like that…

They arrived in a white room full of shiny gray stone shells. Children were opening the shells for others to sit inside, then closing them again. Tanhìnrr became worried and rushed to the nearest shell to pull the child out, causing great confusion among the children in white robes and those in green and brown. Everyone began to scream and point long sticks at her. The child who had guided the young woman intervened, his hands raised, and seemed to restore calm, but the other children continued to look at her with evil eyes.

“Aww,” said Tanhìnrr. “Poor little friends. Do you like hiding in your shells? It’s okay, you can continue. But please, be careful… Don’t stay there too long, and make sure you can get back out afterwards.”

The child continued to drag her elsewhere. She still continued to give them advice:

“Don’t worry if you get stuck! Call me right away, I’ll help you.”

"Can't you control your monkey, sir?" sighed a little girl in a toga, rolling her eyes.

"It's Captain," the child at the end of the young woman's hand groaned, before turning red. "I mean, it's Commander."

"It won't matter if I send you a summons for destroying material essential to the RDA's mission. Now take your Avatar back and get the hell out of here," the other replied disdainfully.

"I am your superior!" barked the little boy.

"I'm not in the military. I'm a doctor. I'm in charge of operations here. You just arrived at my base, do you understand? You mess up my lab and I'll throw you out, is that understood?"

"Aw, what's going on? Are you guys arguing? Aww," said Tanhìnrr.

The little boy was reduced to an outraged silence. He began to tug at her hand again, looking sulky, and guided her to an empty shell. He sat down, then smiled again and pointed behind them. She turned. The toga-clad child moved away; behind her lay a sleeping Joey, enormous on the tiny black chair he had been sitting on.

"Yes, it's Joey! Do you know him? Is he your friend?" the young woman cooed.

The child sighed, shook his head, and looked at Tanhìnrr as if she were absolutely stupid and he was terribly discouraged but loved her nonetheless. He shook his head again, then lay down in his shell. The inside was lined with soft, light blue flesh. The young woman couldn't help but touch it. It was a strange mollusk. Why were they playing in a mollusk's shell?

Another child in a white toga roughly pushed his hand out of the hull, barking something.

"Shhhh, don't get angry," Tanhìnrr said reassuringly. "Aww. Are you very angry?"

The child ignored him, placed a sort of yellow mesh fabric over the boy's chest, and closed the shell over him, who signaled him to look at the chair again. So Tanhìnrr turned around. As soon as the shell closed, Joey woke up. He blinked, shook his head from side to side, wiped his cheek, then got up to join his friend, smiling and in a better mood than before.

"So? How did you find me? I look better, I know, but I still prefer to be taller than you, darling," he chattered, putting his arm around her waist and kissing her temple.

"Ma'Joey," she complained, pulling away.

"Sorry. It came naturally," he defended himself, still smiling, even though his brow had darkened. "So? Do I look better in blue or beige, darling?"

Let's take a moment to remember that they don't speak the same language.

And he put his arm around her waist again. Tanhìnrr held back a sigh, used his new friend as an excuse, and approached the shell where the little boy had disappeared.

"Are you sleeping?" the young woman asked amusedly. "Are you having fun in your shell? Aww. It's a very nice game."

"Come on. Don't touch anything. That's why I don't want you going out alone," Joey said, pulling her away... and putting his arm back around her waist.

"Joey," Tanhìnrr sighed, exasperated.

Immediately, she felt guilty and chose to arm herself with patience and understanding.

“Ma’Joey, forgive me. I… I don’t like being touched. It’s absolutely not, in any way, your fault. You couldn’t have known. But I… I don’t like it anymore. It’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you. I wish you’d ask me before you touched me. I’m sure I’d let you, but please, ask me first.”

"You prefer me in beige, don't you? I should have known. Come on. I'll lend you my room until you can find a new one. This place is still under construction. Everything's freshly laundered, don't worry," the commander chattered, continuing to lead her away... by the waist.

Now let's remember that one of the only words she had learned in their language was "no," and she had said it several times.

The young woman couldn't help but grimace. She was beginning to lose patience. Finally, they emerged into a small, square room—like all the other rooms, in fact—decorated with a small white bed, a desk, and a simple wardrobe.

"I'm sorry. I'd love to stay with you, but I have to go to work, love. I'll bring a translator back, okay?" Joey said.

She stared at him blankly until he showed her the bag they'd filled earlier that day. She began to empty it. Joey nodded, watched her for a moment, then patted her shoulder. She turned away. He opened his arms. She hesitated, felt guilty, and hugged him briefly. She felt him inhale deeply and run his hands down her back. As soon as it was okay to back out, Tanhìnrr broke their embrace and went back to emptying the bag. Joey looked at her lovingly, said goodbye, and left, closing the door behind him.

She had time to think. A strange duality presented itself to her. On the one hand, it was theoretically pleasant to be kissed and hugged like that; but on the other, she didn't want it to be Joey. Come to think of it, the fact that it was Joey kissing her and Joey hugging her made the experience unpleasant. He wasn't ugly, but she wished it hadn't been his face. His personality oozed from his body and made him undesirable. She didn't like the gentle expression he made when he looked at her; she didn't like his laugh; and sometimes he was downright unpleasant. She had always dreamed of a husband, but she would have felt like a betrayal if she chose Joey.

As she lay on the small white mattress, she thought about it over and over again. She didn't like the way Joey smelled, the texture of his skin, or the way he held her in his arms and rummaged around in her back as if searching for something. She didn't like him touching her without her consent either.

She'd almost forgotten about losing her hair… The tears came back to her as she placed her hand on a bare section of mattress that would normally have been buried beneath her thick hair. She whimpered and sank under the covers. The blanket trapped her light and bathed the room in a pleasant twilight, and the mattress was very comfortable. Sleep came quickly.

He left her just as quickly, alas. Without being able to remember her dreams, which had been very pleasant, she woke up, dazed, when Joey reappeared at the door, all smiles, and beckoned her to follow him. Tanhìnrr yawned, blinked, and followed him, rubbing her face.

"I'm sorry I have to subject you to these savages, Tammy," Joey apologized. "I shouldn't say this, but... well, you know. They're not like us."

He seemed troubled now. Tanhìnrr, whose affectionate nature was never far away, gave him a sympathetic look.

"Pandora is not a safe place for a pretty girl like you. I'm just trying to protect you," he continued.

They were approaching a corridor closed by another of those heavy doors.

"Promise me you'll be careful," Joey said.

Again, Tanhìnrr had no idea what he was saying and simply looked at him, then glanced over her shoulder at the opening door. Joey sighed heavily and turned, finally guiding her through the door.

On the other side was a massive glass room. On the other side of the glass, a massive Na'vi man was screaming and pounding his fists against the invisible walls of his prison. He was bleeding from a wound on his left arm, and bright red blood trickled from his elbow into a pool at his feet. He had a black eye and dirt on his hair.

"Wild," Joey muttered.

Tanhìnrr clapped her hand over her mouth and tried to reach out to comfort the poor man and tend to his wounds, but Joey held her back by pulling on her arm.

"He's dangerous, Tammy," he insisted.

"Ma'eylan!" exclaimed the woman of light, who had chosen to ignore Joey in favor of the man on the other side of the glass.

The Na'vi turned around, clapped a hand over his mouth in turn, and fell to his knees.

"Eywa'sänrr," he uttered, and fell on his forehead, his hands pressed to the concrete floor. "Eywa'sänrr, you who are so holy, you who are so gentle, take me out of this metal prison. Eywa'sänrr, they killed all the hunters who were with me. Oh, Eywa'sänrr… Eywa'sänrr..."

“Ma'eylan, I see you, but I have no power over this place. Tell me who killed your friends, and I will go to them,” replied the woman of light, automatically slipping into the role of divinity she had almost forgotten over time.

"Eywa'sänrr, I'm in excruciating pain. Take away my pain, I beg you," the man groaned, clutching his injured arm. "Eywa'sänrr, I beg you, help me... I'll do anything you want..."

"I'm coming, ma'eylan," Tanhìnrr whispered, turning back to Joey.

She pointed to the cell door and stood there.

"Don't you see? He only calmed down because he—because he—" Joey complained, then turned away and put his head in his hands.

“Please, have mercy on me. Come in quickly,” the man moaned. “Oh, Eywa'sänrr!”

“Please, Joey... Breathe deeply, Ma'eylan. There is peace in your lungs. Eywa's air is entering them... feel the cold air in your throat and be relieved...”

The man took a deep breath. His breathing calmed. He closed his eyes and whispered a prayer.

"Ma'Joey!" Tanhìnrr protested. "He's suffering!"

"You don't understand. Don't trust him," Joey continued.

She started trying to force the door open. Joey rolled his eyes and opened it for her.

"That's why I don't want you walking around alone," he concluded. "You wouldn't be able to defend yourself."

Tanhìnrr rushed into the room without waiting a second and rushed to the wounded man. She searched his clothes for a paywll pod, but found no pouch. She searched the corners of the large room, but found nothing. In desperation, she rummaged through his hair, hoping it still held a few pods… and found a tiny one near his ear. Sighing, she fed it to the man, who accepted it without a word.

While he recovered, she rested the man's head on her thigh and tenderly stroked his face and head. The deep wound he had received was visibly healing thanks to the medicinal plant, however small it was. The wounded man was trembling; his hands and feet were freezing, but she didn't flinch when he placed his hand on hers.

"Thank you," he breathed.

The woman of light rubbed the back of her hand with her white thumb, then began to examine the wound. It didn't seem to come from an arrow... She could see the culprit when, the wound healed, something fell out. She picked it up: it was a sort of small, dented metal core stained with red blood. She didn't bother to examine it right away and busied herself warming the man's chilled extremities. She rubbed her hands together, then stroked his cheek. The man, his eyes closed, smiled blissfully. The paywll was taking full effect.

"You can imagine how I feel when I see you do that," Joey growled from behind them.

The prisoner opened his eyes as he heard the Avatar enter the room. He looked exhausted, but he got up anyway and assumed a fighting stance.

“You are a demon,” he breathed, exhausted but his eyes burning with rage. “You killed everyone, even the ikrans. You keep the light of Eywa in a metal cage. You wear the skin of our people like clothing. You are not one of us. You are a metal demon. You are a monster.”

Suddenly, the man writhed in pain and fell back to the ground. Tanhìnrr took him back in her arms and desperately searched his hair for another paywll pod. Ah! If only it hadn't been cut... But she managed to find another. The man chewed it slowly. More metal kernels fell from his arm and armpit.

"I know why I'm alive. I speak your language. But I won't help you. I'd rather die and join Eywa," the warrior muttered through gritted teeth.

Tanhìnrr continued to caress her cheek. The wounded man buried his nose in her elbow, where he let out a few sobs. She didn't see that Joey had grown gloomy and was looking away coldly.

"Don't worry, Ma'eylan. You'll heal quickly," the woman of light promised.

"Do you know him? Is he your boyfriend?" Joey asked curtly without turning around.

The warrior let out a burst of laughter.

"Slanderer," he spat.

He almost actually spat on the ground, but she stopped him by accidentally interrupting him:

"Please don't argue," Tanhìnrr whispered. "Don't be sad, Ma'Joey. Your new friend is much better."

The man tried to contain himself, but was unable to. He burst out laughing, hiding under his hand.

"Eywa'sänrr claims you're her friend, but I'm not as holy as she is," he said, flashing the back of Joey's head with hatred. "Those who come from the sky are not my friends."

"Ma'eylan," Tanhìnrr protested softly, grimacing sadly. "Let's not argue. Let's be calm."

She placed her hand on the man's cheek, who immediately lowered his head in submission.

“Are you Kame'tire, Ma'eylan?” she asked softly.

Joey suddenly left the room. He seemed very angry.

"Ma'Joey!" called Tanhìnrr, but received no answer.

“I am Spxamvawm of the Kame'tires clan,” the warrior introduced himself. “I am eternally grateful for bathing me in your light and grace.”

He took her hand and rested his forehead on it. Tanhìnrr gently stroked her cheek with the other hand.

“Oh, Ma'eylan, I've never had to say this before, but circumstances call for a change,” she lamented. “The only grace Eywa has given me is my kind heart. My luminous skin comes with no divine power.”

Spxamvawm took a deep breath. The woman of light smelled of flowers and daylight. He wished he could bathe in her scent for eternity.

“I have heard tales of your goodness, your holiness, and your grace since the day Eywa welcomed me into her land. The legend of your light has spread to the Western Frontier.”

“I have met several Zeswas, your neighbors, as well as several Aranahe. As soon as I remember the names of the weavers who made these clothes for me, I will praise them, but I have lost my necklace-of-life, ma'eylan, and my memory is shortened. I have not seen Kame'tires since my youth. I am happy to see you again,” she replied.

She enjoyed reconnecting with her former role. The weight of the man's head on her lap was pleasant. She hadn't felt such peace since falling into the waterfall. She missed her clan. The Omatikayas' Tree-Home, the children's cries, the hunters' laughter around the fire, the lines of elders and sick people waiting outside her bedroom door... Everything seemed as if she were still there: the play of the fire crackling in her room, the texture of her zakru brush, her midnight-blue hammock, her personal cache adorned with beads and shells, her small window full of pale leaves, the sound of the wind against the bark of the ancient tree...

"Have you lost your hair? If you wish, I will sacrifice mine and give it to you," offered Spxamvawm, already searching for a knife.

“No, no, please!” the young woman laughed, holding out her hands to stop him. “Ma’eylan, please listen and believe me. I’m just an ordinary woman. I’m Na’vie, like you. We’re the same.”

As she said this, she took his hand and placed it on her chest, where her heart beat.

“I pray to Eywa like all of us. I connect my kuru to Her branches to listen to Her stories. I have long prayed that She would give me the gifts I am said to possess, but She has chosen another path for me. Oh! Ma'eylan, my heart bleeds that I cannot help my People as I should.”

"Eywa'sänrr, aren't you Eywa's envoy?" murmured the warrior, trying to hide his gloating expression and succeeding only too well.

"I never wanted to live a lie, but I haven't had the chance to express myself. My path was laid out for me from birth, and I can only follow it."

Spxamvawm looked at her for a long time. He seemed to be thinking. Finally, his expression softened, and he placed his hand on Tanhìnrr's.

“Look at my hand. I have six fingers. The last one doesn't work. It's my favorite. My fingers grow on my arms like mushrooms. My toes do the same thing. It's in their honor that my mother named me Spxamvawm, the Shadow Mushroom.”

The young woman didn't dare look him in the eyes and simply examined his hand.

"She asked our tsahìk for a long time why Eywa had made me like this, but our tsahìk didn't know. Either my father was a moss spirit, or my mother ate too much mushroom soup."

Tanhìnrr stifled a laugh.

"If you tell me that your difference has no spiritual significance, I believe you, because mine is the same," his new friend concluded with a smile. "What is your name?"

She looked up immediately. They filled with tears.

"No one has ever asked me my name. My name is Tanhìnrr of the Omatikaya clan."

“I see you, Tanhìnrr,” replied the warrior.

“I see you, Spxamvawm,” she said in a trembling voice.

She threw herself into his arms and hugged him with all her might. Spxamvawm hugged him back a little too enthusiastically, because he loved her smell and wanted to bury his nose in it. She, too, hugged him as if she wanted to melt into him and become one person.

He hesitated, took his face off her shoulder so as not to bother her, then decided she didn't care, since she had her own nose in his shoulder. Tanhìnrr didn't care how this hug appeared: she was simply happy to finally be able to talk to someone.

He found himself yawning; Tanhìnrr stepped back.

"I can let you rest, if you're tired," she suggested.

"What are they going to do to me when you're gone?" he asked blankly.

"Have you also met the brown children? The ones who prick with needles and draw blood?" the young woman asked.

The warrior froze and remained deep in thought for a few minutes.

"What do these children look like?" he dared to whisper.

"They're all wearing masks. Some have yellow vests, others white robes--"

"They're not children," Spxamvawm muttered, looking like he was about to throw up his lunch. "They're Sky Ones. Demons from another world beyond the stars."

“Are they star children?” asked Tanhìnrr, surprised.

“They are not children. They are adults. I have never seen their children. They are devils. They kill our own and wear our skins like costumes. They have our faces, but they are fake, imitations. They have malformed faces and five fingers instead of four. They do not use their kuru to fly or run, and they cross the earth on the backs of roaring metal creatures. They do not eat the forest's gifts and raze it. They do not eat the animals of Eywa but kill them anyway. They breathe fire and defile the water.”

"Joey..." Tanhìnrr breathed. "Joey has five fingers. Joey rides across the earth on the back of a howling creature. Joey destroyed a fruit and didn't harvest it. His face... his smell..."

"Joey is the man who was with you?" the warrior asked darkly, and when she nodded, he offered her a rueful look. "If he's your friend, I'll trust him, but this Tawtute... was there when my friends died."

But Tanhìnrr's mind was elsewhere. The child in the shell. The child who acted like Joey. The child who had fallen asleep when Joey had woken up.

“The Sawtute wear our bodies like costumes!” she screamed, overcome with horror. “He has five fingers! He wears their clothes! Joey is a Sawtute!”

She jumped up and continued screaming, her hand over her mouth, looking straight ahead but seeing nothing.

The brown children... the brown children inside Na'vi bodies... Fake Na'vi possessed by demons...

The indescribable horror she felt brought her to her knees. Spxamvawm joined her on the ground and reached out his hands, but held back.

"Why did they come here?" she managed, breathless.

"I don't know. They're destroying everything. Maybe they came to... destroy Eywa'eveng..." the warrior concluded, his voice also breaking.

Tanhìnrr tried to restrain herself, but she burst into silent, stifled sobs. Again, her friend opened his arms, but again, he stopped.

"Let's not think about it right now, Eylanay. Let's think about the present and not the future," he suggested gently.

Eylanay. No one had ever called her eylanay before.

"What is the present?" she blurted out.

"There are two of us. We can help each other," he argued.

"Joey wouldn't hurt me," the young woman insisted, but she doubted it. "He wouldn't kill me. Even if many Sawtute are bad, they can't all be."

“Then we will seek out the right Sawtute,” Spxamvawm concluded, then grimaced. “Forgive me. I am an experienced hunter, and I am used to giving orders. You are Eywa'sänrr. Even if you have no powers, you are a doula of death. The authority rests with you. I am at your command.”

Tanhìnrr smiled and couldn't help but compare her attitude to Joey's, so paternalistic. She tried to focus on what she knew about this place.

"I'm fed and housed," she began. "I have a comfortable place to spend the night. I believe Joey will give you those same things."

"I can't lie to you, but I will trust your judgment if you choose to trust it after hearing me. Joey and his Sawtute warriors killed my companions and their ikrans. They were looking for an interpreter. Someone who could speak our language and theirs."

He paused for a few minutes, then continued:

"They call us blue monkeys."

“Why?” Tanhìnrr whispered. “Why did they kill everyone?”

“There were six of us. We came to see the damage caused by their metal monsters. We crossed paths with their patrol. Our ikrans attacked their shells. They directed their fire at our mounts. We went to save them. That's when they got us. Three of us survived the battle. Your Joey asked us if we spoke his language, and told us that if we did, we would be spared. I told him I would prefer it if he killed me. His warriors took me, and my friends died trying to stop them.”

She didn't know what to say or do after such a story.

"I hope the ikrans survived, and if they died, that it was the Sawtute's weapons that brought them down, not fire. Killing an animal with fire is cruel. I hope at least they use their hides, meat, and bones, and don't let them rot in the sun," the warrior murmured dully. "To think I've come to wish someone could eat the meat of an ikran..."

He put his hand over his eyes.

“I saw one of my companions plunge his knife into his ikran's neck to spare him pain. The fire was eating away at his wings. He was in so much pain…” the man gasped, then choked back a sob. “Another had been doing the tsaheylu when the fire reached him. I… heard him scream. They crashed to the ground. I think they died on impact. I hope so. Forgive me for telling you such awful things. I will spare you the details.”

Tanhìnrr remained motionless. She didn't know what to do to relieve this man's suffering. Normally, she would have added a pearl to her hair, or gone to the site of their death to offer them her blessing, but these actions lost their meaning when one realized that she was just a normal person and not a deity.

"I didn't mean to frighten you. The weight of this tragedy rests on my shoulders, not yours," Spxamvawm apologized, looking down.

"I would like to do something," she explained.

"They're already dead," the warrior sighed. "But they believe in your legend. I know that's asking a lot..."

"I can add pearls to my hair in their honor, visit the site of their death, and speak to their loved ones," she added.

She bitterly thought that was all she knew how to do. She was an imposter. This dream of the angry Kame'tire was a dark omen.

"Was Joey there?" she asked.

"He was their leader."

"I'll ask him to stop. Maybe he'll listen to me."

“Thank you,” Spxamvawm breathed.

He reached for her hands, changed his mind at the last moment, and smiled at her instead, but she didn't react, trapped by her own remorse. How could she have let everyone believe she was powerful? How could she have lied to everyone for so long? Let them worship her? Let them treat her like a queen? Live in luxury she hadn't earned through her worth and her actions?

Maybe she deserved to be stuck with Joey at the Sawtute's.

"Did they hurt you?" Spxamvawm asked softly.

“They took my blood, a few pieces of my skin, put me to sleep for some reason, and rubbed sticks in my mouth, nose, and ears,” she admitted in a faint voice. “Don’t worry, it didn’t hurt. I think they were putting me to sleep just to take my skin. They only took a little at a time. Joey was still there. Maybe he was protecting me. I don’t know. I don’t understand their language.”

"Your hair?" the warrior implied in a sorry voice.

“It was an accident. I was in one of their flying creatures. This thing that spins quickly and makes an unbearable noise… my hair got caught in the wind and the thing cut it.”

"We'll find them," he promised, and this time he briefly squeezed her hand in both of his.

His promise brought a smile to Tanhìnrr's face.

“Forgive me. I… I don’t like being touched like I used to. It’s absolutely not, in any way, your fault. You couldn’t have known. But I… I don’t like it anymore. It’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you,” she mumbled, not daring to look at him.

Immediately, Spxamvawm took a step back, then another, palms raised to the sky, gurgling a mortified apology:

“I’m so sorry. You did the right thing telling me. I’m so sorry. Thank you for telling me. I’m always going to ask your permission, I promise, and I won’t even do it that often since I’m not going to try to touch you anymore. I’m also going to—I’m not going to get too close—I’m so sorry…”

"Please don't feel guilty. It's not your fault. I should have said so before. I'm not angry, you didn't do anything wrong," she stammered, also mortified at having upset her poor friend.

"No, that's not it... You should have slapped me in the face," the warrior protested, earning a laugh from the young woman, who relaxed.

She was pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear when she noticed she felt something new. A sort of bright, warm sparkle deep in her stomach.

Then Joey whirled into the room, looking very agitated and angry. He was frowning and had his hands on his hips.

"Will you introduce me to him?" he said curtly.

Tanhìnrr's stomach lurched, then melted into a pool of acid. She couldn't understand a word he was saying, but his tone of voice conveyed the gist.

"You've met me before, Tawtute," the warrior replied, his eyes burning with hatred and disgust.

Tanhìnrr placed his hand on his wrist to calm him. The effect was immediate, but the rage in Joey's eyes flared.

"You know how I feel when you do that," he protested.

Spxamvawm watched the two in silence for a moment, seemingly thinking, then turned to Tanhìnrr.

"He said, 'You know how I feel when you do that,'" he translated.

Joey forgot his anger. His eyes began to shine. He knelt down beside them, much too close to Tanhìnrr.

"So he translates?"

“Yes,” replied the warrior.

"I was talking to Tammy," Joey retorted dismissively.

Spxamvawm looked at him with confusion, exasperation, and then amusement.

"Skxawng," he muttered. "How do you expect her to answer you? She doesn't understand your question!"

"Is that really what he said?" she asked.

"He said, 'You know how I feel when you say that.' I translated, and he said, 'So he's translating?' I said, 'Yes.' He said, 'I was talking to—' He can't pronounce your name right."

Tanhìnrr tried not to laugh. She failed.

"That's the nickname he gave me, unless he can't pronounce my name. Could you ask him, please?" the young woman inquired.

"Tanhìnrr asks why you call her 'Tammy'."

"None of your business, blue monkey."

"I'll translate for you, skxawng. If you want to tell him something, you have to tell me so I can translate it," the warrior fumed, exasperated, but even irritated, he kept a spark of laughter in his dark eyes.

Joey sighed in that way he sighed—as if he were being asked to do something incredibly difficult.

"Okay. Because it's not a savage name. She lives with us. She needs a human name."

"You can't have meant that. Do it again," Spxamvawm protested, putting his hand over his eyes to shield himself from the man's enormous gall.

"What did Joey say?" asked Tanhìnrr, excited and amused.

"Stop talking to each other," Joey ordered, irritated.

The interpreter turned to the woman of light.

"It can't be. She's not a real person. Great Mother Almighty, protect me from the stupidity of Those Who Come from the Sky," he complained, making Tanhìnrr laugh again.

Both men thought something like, "Her laugh is really adorable."

"Tell her she laughs like an angel," Joey added.

"I wish you'd shot me," the warrior muttered. "Good. First, he said, 'Because that's not a savage's name. She lives with us. She needs a human name.' Then he said, 'Stop talking to each other,' and 'Tell her she laughs like a—' I don't know what."

"Oh, my Joey..." the young woman softened.

"What does that mean?" asked the commander.

"Dear Joey," the interpreter translated with a grimace.

Joey's eyes shone brightly, and his cheeks flushed with pleasure.

"Tell her she's the most extraordinary woman I've ever met," he rattled off.

"He says you're the most extraordinary woman he's ever met," the warrior repeated in a resigned voice.

"Oh, Joey..." Tanhìnrr protested, touched but exasperated by the way things were going.

"Ask her if she knows she's beautiful," Joey added.

Spxamvawm clicked his tongue, looked up at the sky, and obeyed.

"Oh, ma'Joey… Sorry, ma'eylan, I think I'm going to have to make you translate something even worse," Tanhìnrr apologized.

"If you spend the night together, I won't translate what you say," the warrior jokingly warned.

"Ma'eylan!" the young woman cried, slapping his shoulder and hiding her laughter.

"You just met him and you're already giving him a nickname?" Joey said bitterly.

"'Ma'eylan' means 'dear friend,' you...," the warrior fumed, before putting his hand over his eyes and sighing.

"Be careful with your words, native. I can put you back in the forest any time," threatened the commander, exasperated.

Spxamvawm decided not to be clever and kept his mouth shut. He wasn't afraid of death, but he didn't want the commander to turn against Tanhìnrr.

"Understood," he mumbled instead.

"Okay. That's it. Remember your place," Campbell puffed out his chest.

“Ma'Joey—would you translate, please, ma'eylan? (Translator nods) Thank you so much. Ma'Joey, you are generous, and I appreciate everything you do for me, but I cannot take a mate. I am a holy figure in my clan. I am Eywa's envoy. It would be blasphemy to see me as someone to be loved.”

Oddly enough, Joey didn't seem disheartened to hear this when the interpreter finished relaying the woman of light's words. Spxamvawm, however, tried not to let his disappointment show.

Commander Campbell said nothing more for several minutes. Everyone remained silent.

"Ma'Joey... Spxamvawm must be hungry and thirsty, as well as tired..." Tanhìnrr tried.

"Ah, yes," said the commander when the sentence was translated. "Come on. I don't want to leave you alone with someone like him."

"But no, I'm sure Spxamvawm is nice," she insisted.

"No, he's only nice to you because—You—You don't understand. Trust me," Joey snapped after letting out one of his long sighs.

He leaned towards her to whisper in her ear:

"The Na'vi cannot be trusted."

"I can't translate if I can't hear," the interpreter replied curtly, in exasperation, then turned to Tanhìnrr with a hiss. "Would you like me to ask him to move away from you?"

“Would you be able to repeat what I said earlier? I think it was tactful enough not to cause her grief. Well, I… think… Oh, but forget all that. You need a place to sleep, and something to eat. Wait… Why are you here if you don't like the Sawtute?”

"Your friend asks why I'm here if I hate the Sawtute."

“What is a Sawtute?”

"Your people."

"It's simple. The Na'vi kill us on sight and destroy our bases. You're too kind, Tammy."

"You're not Na'vi, are you?" asked Tanhìnrr, beginning to remember the horror she had felt just minutes before... and that was beginning to fade because everything seemed so normal.

The warrior translated his question.

"Absolutely not. That reminds me—you saw my real body earlier. What did you think?" Joey asked.

Translation.

"I don't know," muttered Tanhìnrr, feeling suddenly exhausted. "Is it night yet? I apologize, ma'Joey, but I'm exhausted."

Translation.

"I'll take you back to your room," Joey offered, taking her arm to lift her up.

Translation, again.

Spxamvawm also stood up, hissing. He hadn't missed the physical contact. Anger rumbled in his throat, but he kept his eyes on Tanhìnrr, waiting for her decision, which didn't come because she had her priorities:

“Could you feed our new friend? And give him a place to sleep? If possible. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.”

"Can't he sleep on the floor?" the commander sneered. "Fine, that's fine. You're being too kind. If you knew the real reason he's being nice to you, you wouldn't want to put him up anymore. But that's fine."

Spxamvawm watched them walk away, wondering if this was the last time he would see the woman of light.

"I see you," he called out.

“I see you, Ma'eylan,” she replied, smiling.

He told himself he would take that smile to his grave. As the heavy door closed, Spxamvawm thought of his ikran to chase away his pain, his fear, and his grief. He whispered their story to assuage his grief.

“Ma'Uk, my dear ikran, my daily companion. May you always have wings stronger than the storms you carried me into, may you always brave your fear by roaring against the clouds. Lend me your courage, Ma'Uk, my storm-black ikran, my faithful steed and dearest friend. Dear Uk of such deep black, so beautiful, so wild. Dearest Uk, I would have given my life for you, so that you could keep flying until your song reached Eywa. I am glad I did not call you when the Sawtute were spreading death. Ma'Uk, keep flying in the blackest clouds, and when you cheat the lightning again, when you fly faster than the wind, you will think of me.”

Spxamvawm looked down. Her tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed onto the ground that had never seen rain.

“You have a reason to live, ma'Uk. You have a beautiful and graceful mate who catches fish by throwing herself from the highest waterfalls. When she flies, she pierces the air and makes no sound. Your mate is a white shadow, and you are devoted to her as the mossy ground admires the star, rustling its leaves like a sigh of love. She loves you like the star that admires the earth from afar, twinkling tenderly, that keeps her company during the most sweltering nights. I did not call you so that you could fly with her and feel the joy of a full life. When I met you at the ikran aviary, you were crying out for me to leave you alone. I remember that day, and I will remember it until the day I die, which may be fast approaching.” You screamed because you knew we were bound and that I had the power to tear you away from your mate and make you live a steed's life far from the one you loved. You only accepted me when I promised not to call you too often. I left after making the tsaheylu. I had intended not to make that first ceremonial flight with you, but you called me, torn between your twin soul and the love of your life. But your white mate unfolded her thin wings and flew up to the cottony clouds of that pale sky. I saw joy light up your reptilian face, ma'Uk. She sang for you to join her. You sat down for me to sit on your back, and we made the first flight together. You didn't have to choose between her and me, as you feared.

Then the brave warrior withdrew further into himself and began to cry again.

“I would never have wished this punishment upon you, but I miss your voice, ma'Uk. I wish to hear your cry, I wish to see you raise your head and howl to the clouds with your voice that resembles thunder. I miss your black wings. I would give so much to have you with me in this room that smells of death.”

Spxamvawm was hungry and thirsty. His stomach was beginning to ache, and his throat was dry. He curled into a ball on the ground, stained with his own blood and tears.

"I'll think of you," he whispered.

After a few minutes, the door opened a crack. Someone threw him a bag that smelled vaguely of food, a bottle of water, and some sort of blanket. Trembling with weakness, Spxamvawm busied himself with opening the bag containing the ration. It tasted awful, but for him, who was so hungry, it was a meal worthy of Eywa.

When he had finished this sad meal, the warrior wrapped himself in the blanket. It smelled bad... It smelled like that Joey. He growled and bared his teeth, but his frozen feet and hands accepted no argument. He kept the blanket.

He slept very poorly and didn't know how much time had passed when the door opened again. Spxamvawm clenched his jaw and prepared to face death, but the woman of light slipped into his prison instead of the Sawtute warriors he had expected.

"I see you, eylanay," he said in a hollow voice.

“I see you, ma'eylan,” Tanhìnrr replied, smiling warmly.

But this Joey wasn't far behind. He put his arm around Tanhìnrr as he sat down next to her. Hadn't she made it clear she didn't want him to touch her? Spxamvawm gritted his teeth again, mulling over what he could say to stop her. He ended up trying to convince himself that Tanhìnrr had lied to him to spare her feelings, and that, in fact, she liked Joey's touch, and that Spxamvawm was the problem. There was no way to verify this without getting bogged down in the mud of an embarrassing situation. So he chose to keep his mouth shut and hope the woman of light would send him a sign if she was uncomfortable.

"Eywa'sänrr, I was fed, watered, and kept warm during the night. I thank you warmly," he said, trying to banish the unpleasant thoughts.

"You see me happy," replied Tanhìnrr, smiling tenderly.

Spxamvawm tried to convince himself, this time, that he didn't have a tingling in his stomach.

"I hope you weren't hurt. Would you like me to ask Joey to keep an eye on you?" she offered.

“I thank you again, but I think I am cured.”

He watched her thoughtfully for a few minutes.

"Translate," ordered the commander, turning to Tanhìnrr. "How did you sleep? I hope the bed was comfortable."

The Na'vi warrior rolled his eyes and robotically translated what he was saying.

“I am very, very grateful for lending me your bed. I'm sure you'll be able to have it back soon when I get mine back. I hope you slept comfortably too. I don't want to steal your bed,” the woman of light apologized.

Spxamvawm raised an eyebrow. Tanhìnrr noticed and looked around, turning wide, dismayed eyes on her new friend.

"Ma'eylan, did you sleep on this rock-hard floor?" she lamented, placing her hand on his arm. "Your bones must hurt terribly."

Joey scowled.

“I'm terribly sorry. I'll do my best to find you a bed. If I had the power, I'd lend you mine, but it's not mine. Were you cold? Let me find something to soothe your bones,” the woman of light worried.

"Tammy, you know how I feel when you do that," Joey muttered. "Don't trust him. The Na'vi are killers. Trust me."

"Do you give me permission to use your nickname when I translate what he says?" asked Spxamvawm.

"But yes, certainly."

So he translated, word for word, the beautiful nonsense that Commander Campbell had just let out. Tanhìnrr's stunned and somewhat exasperated expression made the warrior laugh, who was ashamed to think that there was nothing more beautiful than that irritated expression on his face.

Chapter Text

"Wait, how do you know what they're thinking?" Teylan asks.

“Because… because shut up,” you reply, blushing.

Teylan starts to giggle his adorable laugh and gestures for you to continue. You stare at him for a moment, at his stupid cap that you'd throw yourself in a fire to get back, then continue your 100% truthful tale.

Chapter Text

The woman of light was confused.

"But I'm Na'vi," she protested.

"She says, 'But I'm Na'vi,'" Spxamvawm repeated.

"I don't consider you a Na'vi. In your heart, you're human," Commander Campbell admitted almost shyly.

Spxamvawm's desperate translation, who put his head in his hands and shuddered with exasperation.

“Oh, Ma’Joey, we’re all the same at heart. I’m touched that you consider me human deep down. I’m happy to be an honorary member of your People and your clan. But… you… you’re sure the Na’vi are… aren’t…?”

Spxamvawm's resigned translation, who sighed and shook his head. Tanhìnrr narrowed his eyes at him. He stopped.

"No, no, trust me. The Na'vi aren't people like us. They're savages," Joey insisted patronizingly.

"Why do you think that?" Tanhìnrr asked, scared of what he might say.

“They don't have doctors, just shamans. When someone is injured, they don't heal them, they just make them pray to their god. They let them die while performing rituals to supposedly save them. And those on the Western Frontier kill us on sight. We can't talk to them or tell them to leave. They shoot on sight, Tammy,” the commander insisted.

"I don't think... that's entirely true..." the young woman muttered, looking down. "I'm an Omatikaya death doula. I ease the pain of the sick by giving them ointments, drinks, and paywll pods. I also pray for them--"

"Tammy, Tammy, Tammy, you're so naive," Joey sighed without waiting for the translation.

"You do remember that she was the one who healed me yesterday, when your doctors did nothing?" Spxamvawm muttered disdainfully. "She healed me with Na'vi remedies."

Joey looked like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He stood up, paced back and forth in the cell, put his head in his hands, sighed deeply, and then came back.

"Be careful with the Na'vi. You can understand how I feel when you do things like that," he murmured sadly.

He then left the room without saying anything else. Silence reigned for a few minutes.

"Are you cold?" Tanhìnrr finally asked, seeing his friend rubbing his hands together.

"A little," he admitted.

"Why... I don't feel like I'd be allowed to go out alone," the young woman muttered, getting up to find a way to warm Spxamvawm, who fell silent for a good while after she said that.

She didn't know she was a prisoner.

"I haven't asked you yet what you're doing here."

"I think... they invited me here," Tanhìnrr said thoughtfully. "I was closer to the Home Tree. I came here on a flying creature. The door to my first room wouldn't open. I didn't try to get out again."

The warrior fell silent once more. He didn't want to make the decision to hide the truth from her, assuming she wouldn't be able to live with it, but he also didn't want to tell her that...

"I think..." he tried, but the words wouldn't come out.

As it became clear that he would not finish his sentence, she continued:

“I usually travel among the clans to speak to their dying and sick. I haven't met a sick person here yet. Except you, but you weren't here when they found me. I thought brown children were sick, and that adults needed someone to raise and heal them, but you told me they're actually adults, not Na'vi. I don't understand why I'm here. Maybe they've grown attached to me.”

Spxamvawm could not hold back any longer.

"Eylanay, if by some misfortune something happens to me in this cavern of death, don't blame yourself. You are not their tsahìk or their olo'eykte. I know they will do something to me. I feel it in my veins. My blood boils inside my body."

The young woman watched him, speechless with surprise and concern, but he smiled at her affectionately. His gaze didn't fix on her with syrupy adoration, but turned modestly after a few seconds.

"My ikran is safe. If I die, I will die relieved to know that it will continue to pace the sky long after I am gone."

"Ma'eylan," the woman of light protested softly, taking her hand in hers.

This gesture, repeated so many times in her life, always a source of affection and comfort, disgusted her now. Joey had soiled it—but she didn't want to blame him excessively.

“Tell me about your ikran,” she offered, ashamed and desperate to have to pull away after a tiny second.

"Uk is the fiercest and strongest ikran I have ever had the good fortune to meet. He and I fly through the darkest storms, defying lightning to catch us. He is fearless and stops at nothing."

For a moment, the warrior's face lit up with a soft light. He seemed lost in the embrace of good memories.

“Together, we jump from the highest mountains. He comes for me before I crash. We hunt the oldest and noblest prey. Uk is a powerful ikran. Between the two of us, we can hunt the angtsìk.”

Then his smile fell. He looked down in shame.

"If I had called him during the battle that cost the lives of all my companions, they might not have died; but I felt so helpless, so tiny before the Sawtute that I did not believe he would come out alive."

With his hand over his mouth, he remained silent.

"You are not responsible for my fate," he repeated. "Don't waste your time worrying about me."

Spxamvawm said nothing more. The woman of light knew the symptoms of acute panic, guessed he was suffering from it, and offered him one of the bottles of water Joey offered her every twenty minutes, then invited him to lie down. She tucked him in with the blanket, wanted to kiss his forehead but changed her mind, and simply smiled at him.

"Sleep, Ma'eylan. I'll convince Joey not to hurt you."

"If you come back, and I'm gone, don't worry about me. I'll think of my ikran. I'll be at peace," the warrior insisted gently.

"Ma'eylan," Tanhìnrr protested sadly.

Spxamvawm tried again to bring himself to confess that they were both prisoners for life of the Sawtute, but he was unable to do so. What good would it do to tell someone they were doomed? What joy would it bring them?

“If I may ask you a favor… Uk, my ikran, is black as soot. His mate is white as snow. If you leave here… try to find him. His mate has no name, no rider. Perhaps it was you she was waiting for. A white ikran for a woman of light… and a black ikran for a warrior without tanhì.”

Tanhìnrr opened his eyes in surprise, but didn't ask any questions. How wonderful... A man without a tanhì, a Na'vi who produced no light...

"Your light is so strong it would hide them, but it's the truth. My mother named me Spxamvawm because I don't glow in the dark. I may be the only life form on Eywa'eveng that doesn't glow at night."

No one mentioned the fact that he had black eyes and skin almost the same color; and that she had almost white skin and definitely immaculate eyes. They had noticed, but still, it wasn't the kind of thing to say out loud. Black and white, night and day, light and shadow, earth and stars, et cetera, et cetera.

He lay prostrate under his blanket without saying a word until Joey finally returned. Tanhìnrr got up and walked over to him.

"Ma'Joey, our new friend is very afraid of your friends in white robes. He's afraid you'll hurt him. Nothing will happen to him, will it?"

Spxamvawm translated all this in a faint voice that sounded like someone dragging their feet.

"No, nothing at all," Joey replied.

The warrior knew deep down that Commander Campbell was lying, and what's more, that he personally wanted to make sure he died.

"He said, 'No, nothing.' That's it," he breathed. "Have fun looking for another Na'vi who speaks your language, Tawtute."

"Or a human who speaks yours," Commander Campbell replied very coldly.

Spxamvawm knew he was doomed and didn't bother to argue.

"What are you saying? You're not arguing, are you?" said Tanhìnrr, scowling.

"No, Ma'eylan. I enjoyed your company. I hope you'll visit me in Eywa."

“Ma'eylan,” Tanhìnrr lamented again. “I think fear has gotten the better of your judgment. Don't worry, all fear eventually passes. Don't listen to the taunts of terror. Breathe. Feel the wind in your lungs. Let it guide you to peace.”

Despite the circumstances, the trick worked.

“I think Joey wanted us to go out, but don't worry, Ma'eylan. He promised he wouldn't hurt you. Call me if you're scared, or if the Sawtute in white robes bother you. I'll bring you back a comfortable diaper, another blanket, and more water. I'll see you soon.”

“Kìyevame, Eywa'sänrr,” the warrior whispered, closing his eyes.

“Kìyevame, ma'eylan,” she replied. “Don't be afraid. I'm watching over you.”

Chapter Text

Your poor Teylan lets out a whimper.

"Is he going to die too?" he complains.

You smile and raise your palms to the sky.

"Why are you smiling? What does that mean?" he panics.

You start to laugh. He grabs your shoulders and shakes you.

"What does that mean?" he protests, laughing.

"I'm not telling you anything! I'm not telling you anything! Listen to the rest," you reply, smiling.

"But I'm too scared! I don't want to know what happens!" he moans again.

"Come on! I can't tell you what happens just like that. It ruins the experience."

Teylan takes your ikran's tail and hugs it. Your ikran judges him, but doesn't pull away. It starts chewing on his cap instead.

"Not again," Teylan grumbles. "It had just stopped smelling like ikran drool."

Your mount roars, as if to say, "If you take my tail, I get to eat your cap."

“Do you want to hear the rest?” you ask, amused.

"No. I'm too scared. I'm leaving," your friend mutters, turning around.

"No! Teylan!" you laugh. "Come on, I promise it ends well."

Teylan whines again, then turns back to you and buries her face in your shoulder.

"I sure hope it has a happy ending," he threatens.

"Or, what?" you laugh.

"Or I'll cry," Teylan squeals.

"Oh, no! Come on, I promise. Listen, now..."

Chapter Text

Commander Joey Campbell of the RDA found this radiant woman absolutely exquisite. Every time he saw her, he had to make a Herculean effort not to take her in his arms and kiss every part of her body.

Chapter Text

"Ewwwwwwwwwww," pronounces Tylan.

"Let me tell the story!" you laugh. "I only had time to say one sentence!"

Teylan starts laughing, too.

"Two sentences," he corrects.

« Auuuuugh... »

Chapter Text

By the grace of Eywa and Teylan, we pick up the story where we left off; Commander Campbell --

Chapter Text

Teylan starts laughing.

"Ma'Teylan!" you protest, laughing.

"But it's so funny, how you tell it!" your friend counters. "Okay, okay, I'm calm. Go on."

You stare at each other in a friendly way for a few seconds, then start talking again.

Chapter Text

The commander had a hard time controlling himself when he took Tanhìnrr to the cafeteria to get something that wasn't a military ration.

"Sorry," he said, embarrassed. "I should have thought of that sooner. What do you like to eat?"

She didn't understand what he was saying at all. Joey considered this problem, sighed, and resignedly led her toward the front door. He grabbed a gun as he went and tried to ignore his rumbling stomach.

"I'd like to cook you a good Earth omelet, but this damned planet doesn't have a supermarket yet. I'm sure the eggs here would be blue and shiny anyway..." the commander grumbled as he opened the door.

The woman of light didn't know how to hunt, but she could find fruit, eggs, and roots without any problem. It was more difficult than usual, since Joey didn't trust her at all and kept grabbing her arm to stop her. She had to free herself at least five times.

She screamed when he almost crushed a snail, and went to put the poor mollusk somewhere else under Joey's astonished and amused gaze.

"There haven't been any insects on Earth for a long time," he complained.

He continued to distrust her and refuse to let her pick edible fruit. She picked it anyway, making him sigh in irritation several times. Having done this, she ventured into the awful, slippery, wet, and "too strong for her poor, weak, helpless female legs" (sic) river to grab some bruised moss and a few branches. While she ate a juicy hearth-fruit that dripped down her chin, she wove a hammock for Spxamvawm, then fashioned an acceptable support hook that would allow her to hang it in a crack in the concrete wall of her room.

"Ah, no," she exclaimed contritely, remembering that the Kame'tires did not sleep in Omatikaya hammocks but rather... in... in...

She no longer remembered how they slept.

Okay. A hammock should do the trick. She thought about weaving one so she could give Joey back his bed, but she didn't know the rules of his hospitality. Besides, she'd definitely come home one of these days...

The taste of the hearthfruit—the taste of home—had restored her good humor. Even though Spxamvawm's grim and frankly terrifying words swirled endlessly in her mind, the light woman managed to hum as she cooked a little something for the three of them. She climbed to the top of a tree to gather eggs. Her light always allowed her to find the unfertilized ones. She took them all, as she wouldn't endanger the species by stealing their children, and climbed back down gracefully... tangled in her hair.

"Be careful," Joey grumbled. "I knew you'd get hurt. Please, let me protect you. Let's get back to base."

"But I'm not finished cooking, ma'Joey," Tanhìnrr protested, squashing his finger against his friend's nose. "Boop."

Joey looked incredibly insulted, then hugged her and tried to kiss her.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Tanhìnrr said, backing away.

She stuck her tongue out at him so as not to hurt him too much by pushing him away, then went off towards camp. Joey trotted over to her and insisted on carrying everything. He was very annoyed when she refused.

Arriving in front of the roaring machines of hell, she had an idea. She approached a furnace and used the wire mesh to cook the eggs. Joey tried to stop her and began pacing when she fiercely refused his futile attempts at protection once again. Finally, to retrieve the eggs without burning herself, the young woman skewered them with a stick. She nodded, satisfied with her work, and guided Joey inside. He had finally convinced her to carry the hammock and the hearth fruits alone and couldn't see much in front of him.

It was a pleasant morning, very pleasant, which made Tanhìnrr forget his reservations about the commander.

He seemed to want to take her to his room, but she pointed to her egg skewer, indicating there were enough for three people. Joey offered her classic sigh, but allowed herself to be persuaded.

"Why can't you see that I want what's best for you? Why do you have to do what you want?" he muttered.

She didn't understand, of course, and practically ran through the long corridors, relying on her Na'vi senses to find Spxamvawm behind all those identical doors and twin corridors.

What she found in the cell with the glass door nearly made her faint. She had no idea why he was doing this, but Spxamvawm was kneeling on the floor, screaming and crying. Her blood ran cold in her veins, and her heart gave a horrible, painful leap before melting every organ in her body into acid.

"Spxamvawm!" she yelled.

The warrior did not turn to her but heard her.

"Ma'eylan," he blurted out desperately. "Ma'eylan..."

"Open the door, Joey, please, and do it quickly," Tanhìnrr said, struggling with the door.

Joey looked very, very angry. He flung open the door and went into another room to yell at someone. Tanhìnrr didn't care and rushed over to Spxamvawm to examine him.

"Where does it hurt?" she asked in a shaky voice.

“Here,” he spat. “In my heart.”

His eyes didn't seem to see ahead. He just stared at the wall. Tanhìnrr smelled blood and alcohol. She saw bandages on her friend's hands, arms, and feet.

“They…” he breathed, then grabbed his hair so hard she had to pull her hands away so he wouldn’t hurt himself. “They ripped off my fingers and toes. I didn’t feel a thing. They were going to kill me, but then they changed their minds. They put me to sleep. I woke up…”

He raised his bandaged hand and looked at it as if it were a ghost.

"I have eight fingers and eight toes left..."

He was unable to continue. Tanhìnrr took him in his arms. His skin was icy, and he was trembling like a leaf.

"They cut me up..." he said.

He started to cry again, screaming. She held him tighter, her eyes bulging, unable to recover from her surprise. Then Spxamvawm began to laugh softly.

"They didn't take everything from me. I still have some on my forearms. They didn't see them under my bandages... They didn't take everything from me. My mushrooms... My mushroom fingers... my mushroom toes... The ones that gave me my name... How could they—"

He fell silent again and buried his face in his friend's neck. Tanhìnrr wrapped him in her blanket, and he fell onto her knees. She placed her hand on his head and stroked his hair while he wept until his throat was tearing.

"I'll make a pearl for your fingers. I'll tie it in my hair," she whispered to herself more than to him.

A thought struck her. Paywll pods. She had forgotten to pick any paywll pods.

Chapter Text

The woman of light spent an hour consoling Spxamvawm with prayers and soft chants. She offered no platitudes, asked no questions, and wept as well. Joey paced the cell like an ikran about to attack. He was still as furious as ever, perhaps even more so than before.

As Spxamvawm wept in her arms, she took in the extent of the damage. Her heart rose to her lips. It was indescribable. The thought of losing—no, having a part of her body torn away, one she was proud of… Tanhìnrr couldn't come to terms with it.

Time passed in a thick mist until the warrior raised his head and placed his hand, his poor bloody hand, on the arm of the woman of light.

"Thank you, Ma'eylan. I'm glad you're here," he murmured.

His cavernous voice sent strange shivers running down the young woman's spine.

"I'd like to do more," she protested, her brow furrowed and serious. "I'll go back with Joey right away to get some paywll pods and other remedies I know. I don't know the remedies these healers use, but all shamans must help each other. I'll speak to them as soon as you have the strength to translate my words, Ma'eylan, and I'll make sure you have a quick and painless recovery."

“I should have told you sooner, but I didn't realize you'd been scared. I wasn't angry to learn you weren't Eywa's envoy. I was… relieved. Happy, even. I pity your situation, Ma'eylan, but all my life, I've hoped to meet someone who was different like I am.”

"You don't... I'm glad you didn't see me as an imposter," she admitted.

"Never," the Na'vi warrior was about to say when Joey burst into the room with all the subtlety of an exploding volcano. Spxamvawm stared at him, imagining shooting an arrow through his head, into his forehead, right through his center.

"Tammy, come with me," the commander ordered, but the translator just looked at him coldly.

He smiled mockingly and jerked his head to the side, as if to say, "Oops, I think I've forgotten how to speak English." But he recognized the same contempt in his attitude as in the Tawtute's and grimaced in disgust.

"Ma'Joey, we need to get some medicine," Tanhìnrr announced, standing up. "I'd like to ask you what happened. Do you know what the robed Sawtute did to our friend, and why?"

She still didn't know...

"Ma'eylan..." Spxamvawm began, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth.

Joey sighed like he usually did.

"Tammy, can't you see he's using you? He's pretending to be in pain so you'll give him attention. You're just too naive, and way too nice, darling," he declared.

Spxamvawm decided that he had enough respect for Tanhìnrr not to hide the truth from her and treat her like a fragile child, and finally confessed:

“Ma'eylan, I'm sorry. Your Joey led the group of Sawtute warriors who killed my companions and their ikrans. He was the one who ordered his men to capture me. I know the Omatikaya have been looking for you for a month. I think you're a prisoner, too. I—”

The anesthesia and blood loss were exhausting him. He lay down on the hard, cold ground. Immediately, Tanhìnrr offered him her thigh to rest his head on.

“You are Eywa'sänrr, with or without divine powers. That is why we believe in you. You are not an imposter,” he murmured. “Your power is your heart…”

“Rest, Ma'eylan,” she encouraged gently.

"Tammy," Joey insisted, approaching her. "Can't you see? He's faking it."

He had a sweet expression on his face, as if he pitied her, or was trying hard to explain something to her.

"He's pretending to take advantage of you. You're so beautiful," he explained, stroking her arm.

“Ma'eylan, I don't have time to think about my situation. I have to heal you. I promise I'll think about it later,” Tanhìnrr finally replied, moving his arm to remove it from Joey's hand. “I almost forgot. I made you an egg skewer, Ma'eylan. There's enough for the three of us. And, if you'll allow me to give you such a generous gift, I made you an Omatikaya hammock so you won't have to sleep on the ground anymore.”

She frowned as she realized she hadn't brought anything that could be used to create life-string beads.

"I don't have enough favor with the Omatikaya clan to ask you for a hammock. I've never helped your kind. I have no Omatikaya friends except you, ma'eylan, and I haven't helped you in any way," Spxamvawm fretted.

“Remember that I am Eywa'sänrr. I give without asking for anything in return. I made this hammock for you because you were sleeping on the floor. I like to help. Let me do it. I don't ask for anything in return.”

"Nothing in return?" sighed Spxamvawm, who was beginning to fall asleep.

"Nothing at all. I am Eywa'sänrr. I give without asking for anything in return. This hammock is not a—"

"What are you saying?" Joey asked anxiously. "Don't talk to each other."

"Sorry, ma'Joey. We were speaking our language in front of you, who doesn't speak it," Tanhìnrr realized at that moment.

"Eywa'sänrr wants to go back outside to pick some dapophet pods," Spxamvawm said, trying to find the water bottle without opening his eyes.

Tanhìnrr gave it to him, which was enough to rekindle Commander Campbell's jealousy.

"No, you've wasted enough time on that monkey," the military man muttered.

Spxamvawm curled into a ball after swallowing just enough water to wet his dry throat but not enough to make him nauseous.

“He says no—that you've wasted enough time on that monkey,” Spxamvawm corrected himself. “I assure you, I was about to simply tell you he said no, but I think I… perhaps treated you as if you needed protecting. I want to tell you the truth. That's what he said.”

"Waste of time? Ma'Joey, our friend is injured. You don't have to follow me out. I just want you to open the door for me," Tanhìnrr persisted.

"She says…" "Waste of time?" Ma'Joey…" the warrior tried to translate, but he was falling asleep.

Tanhìnrr placed his hand on his arm.

"No, no, please, don't bother. Could you translate the gist of it, please?"

"Thank you, Eywa'sänrr. She tells you she just wants you to open the door for her."

"You're awfully stubborn," Joey said. "Give me a minute. I'll come with you."

"He is coming," the warrior concluded.

With that, Spxamvawm fell asleep without question. He woke briefly when she helped him into the hammock, but as soon as he snuggled into Joey's stinky blanket, he fell into a blissful sleep. Tanhìnrr smiled tenderly as he finally relaxed, before closing the hammock over him so he wouldn't fall out while sleeping.

Outside, Tanhìnrr had a terrible surprise: the devastation caused by the Sawtute's hell-engines had widened. The piles of faywll near the riverbank had turned brown. So had the plants. All the tree branches hung miserably above her head; the moss on the roots had paled and crumbled beneath her fingers. Walking along the riverbank, she saw something even worse: a young talioang falling from exhaustion near the bleached, stinking corpse of a yerik.

Tanhìnrr ran up to the poor animal, which was bellowing in terror but lacked the strength to run away. She stroked its wet back and watched its dark eyes as her own filled with tears. The cub calmed down and stared at her, as if asking for help. Tanhìnrr's tears redoubled. She continued to cuddle it, looking around, trying to rekindle its memory. What did they eat? Did they digest paywll?

His eyes fell on the yerik. His cold body was torn with burns. Tanhìnrr put his hand over her mouth and let out a sob.

“Ma'eylyong,” she moaned, touching the poor animal’s muzzle, then running her hands over its back as if to convince herself. “No, no, ma'eylyong, it can’t be you. It’s too awful. Ma’Eywa, is it the same one? Is it the one I saved? Ma’Eywa, no, not him… Ma’eylyong…”

Weeping, she kissed the lifeless muzzle of the yerik she had thought she had saved. She had believed that his victorious departure beyond the dead hill would be his salvation.

“Oh, ma'eylyong,” she moaned, clutching the animal to her heart.

“Don’t play with dead stuff,” protested Joey, who had finally joined her on the bank. “It’s disgusting. Why are you doing that? Come on, it’s full of bacteria.”

The young talioang bellowed loudly and kicked a few times, but Tanhìnrr calmed it by stroking its snout. Joey jumped back in fear and raised his submachine gun at the cub.

"Ah! Yuck, that thing's still alive! Move away, I'll kill it for us."

He took Tanhìnrr's arm and tried to pull her up, but she pulled away.

"Tammy, move away. Trust me," Joey insisted, sounding like he was losing his patience.

“Great Eywa, help me save this poor innocent animal,” whispered the woman of light.

"He's just an animal. Why are you crying?" the commander sighed, irritated. "Come on, I thought we had something to do here."

He started pulling on her arm again. As she pulled away, he tried to grab her armpit. Tanhìnrr turned toward him, outraged, rolling her shoulder to remove his hand. At a loss for words, she regarded him coldly. Joey still had that sickeningly sweet, patronizing expression on her face.

"It's just an animal," he said, but quickly his eyes lit up.

He sighed heavily, turned on his heel, and left. Quickly, Tanhìnrr picked up the animal and dragged it across the bubbling river to the forest beyond, praying that Joey wouldn't join them. The talioang waved its paws futilely in the river, as if swimming. The woman of light smiled, fondly, and kissed its small snout. It seemed to have grown attached to her, too, and licked her face. She almost stopped to ululate and scratch its chin, but she restrained herself. She had to reach the other bank at all costs before Joey returned. He would surely be able to shoot the talioang just to have the last word.

They finally reached the other bank, frozen and chilled; it was at that moment that Joey appeared on an earthen ridge, the same one the yerik had crossed to escape the fire machines. He began to scream and ran towards them. Tanhìnrr waited for him so as not to make things worse and winced when she saw his boots crushing the vegetation like the tracks of the destructive machines. She had an unfair thought: everything the Sawtute had, wore, or did sowed death. Normally, she would have been mortified and immediately taken back her words, but today, a strange coldness sprouted inside her like a flower of ice. She shook her head and shattered that flower of ice. She didn't know all the Sawtute, et cetera, et cetera.

"Tammy, I don't understand why you're acting like this. We were taking a walk together, and you ran off to play with dead animals. You didn't want to spend time with me, did you?" he accused her.

Joey sighed to calm himself and remained silent for several long seconds.

"It's really, really hurtful. I'm disappointed. I thought I was--"

He sighed again.

"I don't understand," he blurted out.

Tanhìnrr didn't understand either, since she didn't speak English. She tried to understand. The only idea that came to her was that he was trying to apologize for the death of the yerik.

"The past doesn't matter. What matters is changing the future," she replied.

"I don't speak your language. I hope you apologize. Well, it's not a big deal..." he mumbled.

He moved his shoulder towards the animal in Tanhìnrr's arms.

"You weren't going to run away with him, were you?"

He looked so sad…

"Ma'Joey, don't dwell on your shame. There's a first time for everything," she said softly to comfort him. "Come help me carry this little one to the forest instead."

She began dragging the little talioang back toward the sad brown and gray forest. Reluctantly, Joey helped her carry it. Between the two of them, they made rapid progress. Soon, the small animal was lying on a carpet of blue moss near a healthy river. Eywa'eveng was resilient; after a few seconds, the talioang got up and ran off as if it hadn't been on the verge of death just minutes earlier.

Something about Joey's behavior greatly troubled Tanhìnrr. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what it was. She felt like his interpretation of her emotions was wrong.

"You're such a romantic. You went to all that trouble for this beast? Did you think about the bacteria?" Joey muttered. "Well, at least you didn't want to run away. Next time, we won't go so far."

He started back towards the base, but she stopped him with a shout and went off to pick paywll by the river, because Spxamvawm, let us remember, still needed care.

“Tammy, it seems like you love the forest more than me. You don't know how much that hurts. You know what, I'm going to start showing you how much I love you. Maybe you'll finally understand. Enjoy it, because we're not coming back here. I'll keep you in my base, and maybe you'll finally notice me.”

Lucky she didn't speak English.

He took out his radio and gave an order:

"This is Commander Joey Campbell. Who was that complaining about how we never kill anything and how boring it is here? I'm giving you permission to raze the forest and kill everything in it. Don't go too far, in case there are any blue monkeys around. Enjoy it, kids, because when we're done with this demonic planet, there won't be anything left to kill, just people in in-ground pools sunning themselves under two blue suns. So, what do you say?"

There was a chorus of cheers from his transmitter, cut off by the chief scientist's voice:

"Commander Campbell, the only sun on this moon is ours. I'm reporting that we're in orbit around Jupiter. Come to my office to discuss this initiative."

The commander rolled his eyes.

"Okay. Give me fifteen minutes."

" Ten. "

"That'll be ten," he grumbled, then hung up.

He turned back to Tanhìnrr, who was picking fruit and humming. For a moment he felt guilty, but he drowned himself in apologies:

“I'm doing this for your own good. You can't live in the forest all your life. You'll be better off with me among the humans. Trust me,” he murmured, reaching out to take her by the waist and kiss her temple.

She frowned, looked at him with annoyance, and gently pushed him away.

"I can't wait to burn this damn forest down," he growled. "There's no room in your heart for people, only for the forest. Well, there won't be any more forest."

If she could have understood a word of what he was saying, she would surely have said that he needed to find a synonym for "forest" instead of repeating it fourteen times in every sentence.

"Well, we have to get back. I have a meeting in ten minutes," he announced, taking her arm, but she pushed him away.

Instead of sighing like he usually did, he huffed angrily and grabbed her arm hard.

"Stop doing what you want. Think about what I want. Let's go back, I say. Come on. You can't always do what you want," he snapped, pulling her forward.

Something in the back of her mind told Tanhìnrr not to resist any longer. So she followed him, looking at the ground. Time passed. Joey took her hand. She let him. He finally seemed to notice her silence and looked at her more gently.

"Come on, don't be mad. I didn't do anything wrong. I just want you to think of me, from time to time."

She didn't answer. She didn't even understand what he was saying. Joey, however, had forgotten that she didn't speak a word of English, and reacted accordingly:

"You can't turn this situation against me and make me look like the bad guy in the story."

She didn't answer, of course.

"Fighting is normal. Just because I get angry doesn't mean I'm the big bad guy," he insisted.

No response.

"I'm telling you I didn't do anything wrong! Why do you hate me? Is it because I raised my voice, isn't it?" he protested almost desperately. "Is it because of that animal? It's not my fault you like animals more than me, is it! Are you going to say something?"

Tanhìnrr was beginning to wonder what he could possibly be talking about.

"Okay, that's it, you're going to go back to your forest friend, and you're going to complain about Joey being so mean to you? You just love him because he always agrees with you. You want someone who worships you and treats you like a princess. I'm giving you everything I have, and you..."

He tried to control himself, but the words kept coming out.

"It's really pathetic. You can't stand having someone tell you how it really is."

They arrived in front of Spxamvawm's glass cell.

"You're really just another Na'vie," Joey muttered. "You don't treat people you love like that, Tammy. It's really unfair."

The warrior woke with a start and wriggled in his hammock. Tanhìnrr giggled and approached to untangle him.

"You don't care about me, do you?" Joey whispered pathetically.

"Ma'eylan, are you feeling better?" asked the woman of light, helping poor Kame'tire out of his plant prison.

"It was fine until I heard your Joey shooting arrows at you," Spxamvawm growled. "What's his problem today?"

“Arrows? I don’t know. He doesn’t seem in a good mood. Maybe it’s because he saw… Can I ask you to ask him what’s wrong with him?”

"She asks you what's wrong with you," the warrior translated harshly.

"What's wrong with me? I've been telling him for an hour what's wrong with me!" Joey yelled.

"She doesn't speak your language!" Spxamvawm said in exasperation, grimacing.

Joey stopped moving, thought for a few seconds, then gently took Tanhìnrr into his arms.

"All is forgiven. It's true, you don't speak English. It will come, don't worry. I apologize for getting carried away," he murmured against her hair.

Tanhìnrr tried to contain her discomfort. Her tail flapped behind her, and she wiggled her toes impatiently. Finally, Joey stepped aside and left.

"Thanks, Ma'eylan. I think he's better," the young woman said, sitting down with her back to the wall. "I found you some more paywll pods. Here."

She rolled a pod to her friend. He tried to take it, but winced in pain. Softened, Tanhìnrr approached and offered it to him. He ate from her palm like a pa'li, which cheered them both up.

"Sorry. I just realized I could have leaned over and eaten her off the floor," he admitted with a smile.

"It'll be fine," she replied.

His smile was fading quickly.

"I forgot to find stones and shells again," she suddenly realized.

"You'll find some next time, Ma'eylan. There's no rush," Spxamvawm sighed, going to sit with his back to the wall at a respectful but friendly distance from her.

“Did you sleep well?”

"Wonderfully well. Have you thought about what I told you?" he asked in turn.

"You said we're prisoners. What does that mean?"

"That we can't get out, and they can mistreat us. I think you'll do better than me. As long as this Joey likes you, he won't let anyone cut you up."

"If I think about it too much, I'll die of fright," the young woman said.

"Don't worry, Ma'eylan. Next time you go outside, run as far as you can without looking back."

“Run away? I can't leave while you're here, Ma'eylan. I won't abandon you.”

“Fine; but I give you permission to do it.”

Tanhìnrr sighed and looked at his hands, twisting his fingers together.

"It was Joey who ordered... Who killed your friends?"

"Yes. Him and his men."

"And we are prisoners in his house," concluded Tanhìnrr, and she began to cry.

Now she understood why Spxamvawm had told Joey he would rather die than help her.

"No, we have to think about Eywa. Whatever happens, we'll join her at the end of our story. Everything will be fine," she insisted, trying to push her fear away.

"We must continue to help each other," Spxamvawm added.

Unable to hold it in any longer, she snuggled up to her friend.

"Something about Joey's tone of voice scared me earlier," she admitted. "I didn't understand anything, but I was really scared of him. I feel like he was blaming me for something... Oh! Ma'eylan, I can't wait to get out of here."

"Do you want me to teach you how to defend yourself?" the warrior suggested in his soft, deep voice.

“Oh, I… I would, but as Eywa's envoy, I have no right to hurt others, even in self-defense. I am infinitely grateful, nonetheless. I wish I could accept, but I couldn't forgive myself if I were to break my moral code.”

"I'll try to find techniques that don't hurt," Spxamvawm said thoughtfully. "Perhaps we could hide in the shadows and slip away silently. You'd need a cloth to cover yourself completely."

"Or we could disguise ourselves as fake Na'vi. You know, the skins they use to look like us," Tanhìnrr suggested.

“Disguising ourselves as Uniltìranyu… A magnificent idea,” Spxamvawm breathed, his eyes shining, and Tanhìnrr blushed with pleasure. “It will be easy. We will need to cut our hair and pretend to have five fingers on each hand.”

"We can borrow their clothes or make similar ones. We will need shoes..." continued Tanhìnrr.

"You'll have to paint your skin until it stops shining, then dye your hair black... I'll have to paint myself tanhì... We'll both have to find a way to change the color of our eyes. And if we--"

"--painted our eyelids and navigated with our eyes closed, relying on our Na'vi senses for direction?" they yelled at the same time.

They hugged enthusiastically, then pulled apart, their cheeks flushed, a little embarrassed.

"Oh, no. I'll have to learn to speak their language. It'll take time..." Tanhìnrr muttered. "Can we risk trying to escape without teaching me?"

"That seems possible to me. We'll have to call my ikran, Uk. So we'll have to go outside," Spxamvawm decided.

"There's a mountain of dead earth in front of the base," she offered. "We can jump to the other side and hide underneath. I think the earth is soft enough that we could dig ourselves a hiding hole and lose anyone who tries to follow us."

"I regret having to suggest such a thing, but... escapes are easier if we kill our pursuers," the warrior admitted soberly. "I know. We don't want to kill anyone. This will be a last resort."

"I think I understand," the young woman blurted out, but then she burst into tears. "Oh! Excuse me, Ma'eylan..."

“Don't apologize. This is not a choice to be taken lightly. If our plan works, no one will die. I will strive to render our enemies unconscious instead of taking their lives.”

The woman of light raised her knees, wrapped her arms around them, and rested her forehead on them. Silence fell.

"It's a nightmare," the young woman finally whispered.

Spxamvawm reached out, then thought better of it.

"I miss Hometree," she moaned as more tears rolled down her cheeks; he could hold it in no longer and took her hand to caress it.

"We'll get through this, ma'sänrr. Let's hurry up and work out our plan so we can leave as soon as possible. We won't wait months."

Tanhìnrr nodded, but she looked devastated. Spxamvawm searched for a story to tell her to distract her from their misfortunes, but he only knew the one about his ikran Uk, and had told it before. For her part, she had the idea of ​​singing him a Sarentue party song so they could dance together, but they had no musical instruments, and her friend's condition would not allow him to walk. Even though he had taken paywll, she didn't want to push her luck.

So the hours passed in silence, each ruminating on his dark thoughts.

Eventually, Tanhìnrr grew tired of this abominable silence and began to sing in a low voice:

Who are we? THE SARENTU
What do we want to do?
WE WANT TO DANCE
If you want to be SARENTU
You will have to
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE

Went to the Kame'tire
My feet are brown and tired
I climbed the Stone Colossus
And from the waterfall, I jumped

I went to the Zeswa
I ran for hours after a group of fa'li
It took me thirty-two tries
To finally stop breaking my face

Who are we? THE SARENTU
What do we want to do?
WE WANT TO DANCE
If you want to be SARENTU
You will have to
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE

I set foot on a kinglor nest
On my way to the Aranahe
It took me a whole day
For the swarm to stop chasing me

Finally, I'm back home
And even though I've butchered my feet
In the Sarentu's house
EVERYONE MUST DANCE!

Who are we? THE SARENTU
What do we want to do?
WE WANT TO DANCE
If you want to be SARENTU
You will have to
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE

Chapter Text

Your voice refuses to obey you. Emotion suffocates you. You didn't pull that song out from under your tail. It really exists. You can almost hear the beat of the Sarentu drums and the crash of hundreds of feet hitting the dirt. You see the adults dancing around the red light, you hear the laughter, and you feel at home.

And you made Teylan cry. Well done.

"It's okay, it's okay," he reassures you, wiping his eyes. "It's just that..."

"I know, ma'Teylan. Me too," you reply, taking her hand.

He squeezes it. You can't say anything else for a while.

And now, here you are, both crying. You didn't expect this story to stab you like this.

You finally calm down...

Chapter Text

The melody cheered the prisoners up a little.

“It's a celebration song a Sarentu traveler taught me,” Tanhìnrr explained. “It's a shame. We become attached to the Sarentu who spend time with us, and then they leave, sometimes forever. We only hear from them through other clans, or other Sarentu.”

"I didn't know they traveled beyond the Western Border," Spxamvawm commented.

"I even think they go to the sea," she replied dreamily. "I envy them. I would like to travel, too. I would like to see the sea... Such a blue and crystalline expanse... full of unknown wonders."

The silence had softened, scented with fond memories. Then Spxamvawm raised his kuru.

"Can I ask you to show me what Joey told you this morning? I'll be able to translate."

Tanhìnrr looked at his kuru, his face, again his kuru, again his face, again his kuru, his hand, his torso???

"Excuse me?" she blurted out.

"Tsaheylu??" Spxamvawm rephrased, also stunned.

"Tsa—buh???" Tanhìnrr said, sitting up, his eyes bulging and his cheeks flushed. "No, I remember—the other clans use tsaheylu more… more… informally than we do. We only do tsaheylu among ourselves when we mate, ma'eylan…"

"Prrrrrrrr," Spxamvawm uttered, and her face did the same thing as her friend's. "But... but it's so handy for... for... Didn't your mother use her kuru to find out why you cried when you were a baby?"

Tanhìnrr opened his mouth wide and let out a whimper of horror.

“Doing tsaheylu… with a baby…”

It began to make a noise like a poorly maintained door.

"I understand the logic behind this practice... but... absolutely not," she muttered.

"We use our kuru for all sorts of things. Our tsahìk uses it to heal his sick. Some teachers or parents use it to catch liars. Finally, you mount ikrans. It's the same thing," the warrior defended himself.

"Wait... Does the mother start crying when the baby cries, then?" asked Tanhìnrr, amused by the idea.

"Sometimes," Spxamvawm replied, smiling, and they giggled.

The silence was sparkling with mischief and good humor.

"Regarding my plan, I won't push you into it. I understand that it's a very intimate gesture to you. I don't want to minimize its importance," Spxamvawm promised gravely.

"Thank you very much, but I think it's a good idea. It's the only idea, in fact. All I ask is…"

She looked down and wrung her hands.

“Tsaheylu is very important to the Omatikayas. To me too. I would like to prepare myself mentally, and… perhaps… get to know you a little better. Nothing too complicated, or too long to do,” she said afterward. “It's just that tsaheylu involves absolute trust. It's a union of the minds. It's sacred.”

"That's all right," he agreed without hesitation. "Here's what will happen. When our kuru touch (Tanhìnrr blushed horribly at the sound of her saying this intimate phrase aloud), you will have to manually remember this morning, and my mind will witness your recollection of the events."

“Won’t you see everything and absolutely everything?”

« … Non? »

“I thought you would see my whole life unfold and know all my thoughts, my emotions, and feel what it’s like to live in my body.”

"What did you want to do to prepare?"

“Tell me one of your secrets, if you will, and I will tell you one of mine.”

He thought about it for a few seconds.

“I speak Tawtute because my grandfather was a diplomat. When the Sawtute arrived, they tried to communicate with us. My grandfather was one of the first to learn their language, and helped them learn ours. He taught it to all his children, and my mother taught it to me. He always believed it was a miracle to meet people from so far away, and that we should learn as much as possible from each other.”

"What was your grandfather's name?" the young woman asked kindly.

“Txewi'tey,” he replied. “He still lives.”

"Ah! I'm glad. He seems like a wise man."

"It is," he agreed. "What's your secret?"

Tanhìnrr looked down in shame.

"When I first met Joey, I thought he was handsome. I still think he is. It's his personality that bothers me," she admitted without looking up. "He likes me, but..."

She sighed.

"The shame is that the more time I spend with him, the more... the more he..."

She frowned.

"Your clan may not always force you to live a life of celibacy and abstinence," Spxamvawm whispered comfortingly.

Obviously, he had understood her sentence backwards.

“No, no, that’s not the problem!” she laughed. “No, it’s… it bothers me that I find him handsome. I don’t love him. Sometimes he scares me. He gets angry and talks to me… I don’t understand what he’s saying then, but I’m still scared. I hope it doesn’t mean I’m in love. That would bother me. I don’t want to be in love with someone I don’t love.”

"I'll reassure you right away, then. We're always in love with people we love and never in love with people we don't," the warrior replied with a smile. "I must confess that my secret pales in comparison to yours."

"You can confess another one to me, if you want," Tanhìnrr smiled.

"All right. I'd like to slap that Joey. Right across the cheek."

Tanhìnrr tried not to laugh, but laughed anyway.

"He touches you, he bothers you, he scares you. He doesn't understand when you push him away. And..."

Spxamvawm put his hand over his mouth and sighed.

“Everyone is—no, I won't talk about it. We've made an effort to cheer ourselves up. Let's not waste it so foolishly.”

"You're talking about your friends, aren't you?" the young woman murmured, taking the warrior's hand. "Let me, then, confess something else to you, too. I heard everything you translated, implied, or confessed about Joey and the Sawtute. If I didn't seem to understand, it's because I was afraid. I knew I'd drown in my fear if..."

She shook her head, fighting back a sob.

“You’re right. It would be silly to spoil the lightness of the moment.”

Spxamvawm had to force himself not to stroke her cheek. He wasn't going to be a Joey and act like a pervert, anyway.

"It wasn't serious. I wouldn't hit him... except to make you laugh," he added with a hint of humor in his hollow voice.

Indeed, Tanhìnrr burst out laughing. He smiled and watched her fondly, but lowered his eyes so as not to bother her. When she had calmed down, she glanced down the corridor, then approached Spxamvawm and held out her kuru. Her cheeks were pink and her tail wriggled behind her.

"Sorry if my mouth stinks," Spxamvawm muttered to put her at ease, and she giggled again.

"It's okay, Ma'eylan, the paywll destroyed all the bacteria stuck between your teeth."

"So my mouth used to stink," he joked.

"Yes," she squeaked, then covered her mouth, doubled over, and burst into a loud laugh that sounded positively like a shower of shooting stars, a warm ray of sunshine, and a piano concert all at once.

Instead of dreaming of kissing her, a concept ruined forever by Joey Campbell, the Na'vi warrior delicately took the kuru from the woman of light and tried to find his own behind her back.

"Well done," she couldn't help but joke as she watched him rummage around in vain.

"I'm nervous!" he protested with a squeak, but he was smiling. "Your hair is the same color as my grandfather's."

"Is that why you're nervous?" the young woman asked ironically. "Because I look like your grandfather?"

« Noooo! »

"And it's lucky we're not about to mate, because you'd just ruin the moment," she added.

"I thought you weren't allowed to hurt people. You just ripped my heart out," Spxamvawm complained, forgetting his kuru to dramatically press his hand to his chest.

"Sorry," Tanhìnrr muttered, laughing a little more.

"It's okay. Okay, my kuru..."

Tanhìnrr blushed more.

"I can't believe you don't think my grandfather is exceptionally handsome," Spxamvawm added under his breath, making her laugh out loud.

The warrior's tail twisted slowly from side to side, like a watchful cat's. It felt as if his skin had been replaced by warm, fluffy flowers. He lost himself in a completely pointless dream of himself taking her in his arms and kissing her. It was his turn to turn crimson. He even made a small gurgling noise.

Absolutely nothing happened for a few dull moments, then Spxamvawm remembered their mission and found her braid behind her back. He handed it to Tanhìnrr.

"You want to... do it?" he blurted out, but his cheeks flushed even more at his completely inept wording. "The kuru. The tsaheylu. You're the one who... since you're not entirely comfortable... it's up to you to do it."

Tanhìnrr seemed to wake up from a long dream. She had almost forgotten that her friend was usually serious. She looked at Spxamvawm's black kuru, a little sad at the thought that her first tsaheylu was going to happen like this.

"Want to change your mind? We can learn Campbell's plans some other way," Spxamvawm murmured thoughtfully.

"I don't want to do it, but we have no choice. I'm curious to know what he told me, by the way," she concluded; then she sighed and glued the ends of their kurus together.

Little pink filaments emerged from it and intertwined. She tried to remember the morning... and Spxamvawm tried to translate as she...

"Sorry," Joey said, embarrassed that there was nothing good to eat at his base. "I should have thought of that sooner. What do you like to eat?"

They were leaving the base together...

"I'd like to cook you a good Earth omelet, but this damned planet doesn't have a supermarket yet. I'm sure the eggs here would be blue and shiny anyway..." the commander grumbled as he opened the door.

She was saving the snail...

"There haven't been any insects on Earth for a long time," Joey complained.

She fell from the tree after picking some eggs...

"Be careful," Joey grumbled. "I knew you'd get hurt. Please, let me protect you. Let's get back to base."

"But I'm not finished cooking, ma'Joey," Tanhìnrr protested, squashing his finger against his friend's nose. "Boop."

He was trying to kiss her...

"No, no, no, no, no, no," she would reply, backing away, and then she would walk away.

"Let me carry all this. It's too heavy for you. You're not strong enough," he told her, but she refused to let him take her things. "But why are you so stubborn?"

She was trying to grill the eggs on the wire mesh of a machine...

"Oh no, but wait, but this is super dangerous! What are you doing here?" Joey exclaimed, trying to snatch the skewers from her, but she wouldn't let him. "Listen to me, Tammy, come on, this is dangerous and I'm not going to let you put yourself in danger. Give it back to me... Come on, Tammy, trust me, I know what's best for you."

She refused. He left to sulk. Nothing serious happened.

Then she insisted on going to take a skewer to Spxamvawm...

"Why can't you see that I want what's best for you? Why do you have to do what you want?" he muttered.

She spared them the rest and immediately surrendered to the dreadful memory of the dead yerik.

“Oh, ma'eylyong,” she moaned, clutching the animal to her heart.

"Don't play with dead stuff," protested Joey, who had joined her. "It's disgusting. Why are you doing that? Come on, it's full of bacteria."

He frightened the taliong and raised his machine gun, leaping back...

"Ah! Yuck, that thing is still alive! Move away, I'll kill it for us."

He took Tanhìnrr's arm and tried to pull her up, but she pulled away.

"Tammy, move away. Trust me."

“Great Eywa, help me save this poor innocent animal,” she whispered.

"He's just an animal. Why are you crying? Come on, I thought we had something to do here."

He tugged at her arm, but as she pulled away and looked at him coldly, he put that exasperatingly paternalistic expression back on his face and said:

"It's just an animal."

Losing patience, he walked away. She pulled the little taliong across the river to the bank, then stopped when she heard Joey running toward her with the delicacy of a tank.

"Tammy, I don't understand why you're acting like this. We were taking a walk together, and you ran off to play with dead animals. You didn't want to spend time with me, did you?" he accused her.

He sighed…

"It's really, really hurtful. I'm disappointed. I thought I was--"

He was still sighing...

" I don't understand. "

Tanhìnrr didn't understand either, since she didn't speak English.

"The past doesn't matter. What matters is changing the future," she replied.

"I don't speak your language. I hope you apologize. Well, it doesn't matter..."

He moved his shoulder towards the animal in Tanhìnrr's arms.

"You weren't going to run away with him, were you?"

She tried to comfort him:

"Ma'Joey, don't dwell on your shame. There's a first time for everything. Come help me carry this little one to the forest instead."

When they were finished:

"You're such a romantic. Did you do all that for this beast? Did you think about the bacteria? Well, at least you didn't want to run away. Next time, we won't go so far."

He was leaving again, but she was going to pick paywll instead of following him. He was outraged:

“Tammy, it seems like you love the forest more than me. You don't know how much that hurts. You know what, I'm going to start showing you how much I love you. Maybe you'll finally understand. Enjoy it, because we're not coming back here. I'll keep you in my base, and maybe you'll finally notice me.”

Lucky she didn't speak English.

He took out his radio and gave an order:

"This is Commander Joey Campbell. Who was that complaining about how we never kill anything and how boring it is here? I'm giving you permission to raze the forest and kill everything in it. Don't go too far, in case there are any blue monkeys around. Enjoy it, kids, because when we're done with this demonic planet, there won't be anything left to kill, just people in in-ground pools sunning themselves under two blue suns. So, what do you say?"

"Commander Campbell, the only sun on this moon is ours. I'm reporting that we're in orbit around Jupiter. Come to my office to discuss this initiative."

"Okay. Give me fifteen minutes."

" Ten. "

"That'll be ten," Joey concluded as he hung up.

Then, to Tanhìnrr:

“I’m doing this for your own good. You can’t live in the forest all your life. You’ll be better off with me among humans. Trust me.”

He took her by the waist and tried to kiss her temple. Looking annoyed, she gently pushed him away.

"I really can't wait to burn this damn forest down. There's no room in your heart for people, only for the forest. Well, there won't be any more forest."

"He really should find a synonym for 'forest' instead of repeating it fourteen times in every sentence," Tanhìnrr muttered to Spxamvawm to deflect his fear.

"Okay, we have to get back. I have a meeting in ten minutes."

He took her by the arm. She pulled away. He took her back roughly.

“Stop doing what you want. Think about what I want. Let’s go back, I tell you. Come on. You can’t always do what you want.”

He pulled her forward. She let him take her hand. He noticed her behavior and said to her:

“Come on, don’t be mad. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just want you to think about me once in a while. You can’t turn this situation against me and make me look like the bad guy. Fights are normal. Just because I get mad doesn’t mean I’m the big bad guy. I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything wrong! Why do you hate me? Is it because I raised my voice, right? Is it because of that animal? It’s not my fault you love animals more than me, though! Are you going to say something?”

Tanhìnrr was beginning to wonder what he could possibly be talking about.

"Okay, that's it, you're going to go back to your forest friend, and you're going to complain about how Joey is so mean to you? You just love him because he always agrees with you. You want someone who worships you and treats you like a princess. I give you everything I have, and you... It's really pathetic. You can't stand having someone tell you how it really is."

They arrived in front of Spxamvawm's cell...

"You're really just another Na'vie. You don't treat the people you love like that, Tammy. It's really unfair."

Tanhìnrr was going to free the Kame'tire from his Omatikaya hammock...

"You don't care about me, do you?"

"Ma'eylan, are you feeling better?" she asked.

"It was fine until I heard your Joey shooting arrows at you," Spxamvawm growled. "What's his problem today?"

“Arrows? I don’t know. He doesn’t seem in a good mood. Maybe it’s because he saw… Can I ask you to ask him what’s wrong with him?”

"She asks you what's wrong with you," the warrior translated harshly.

"What's wrong with me? I've been telling him for an hour what's wrong with me!" Joey yelled.

“She doesn’t speak your language!”

He realized that was the case and pressed Tanhìnrr against him.

"All is forgiven. It's true, you don't speak English. It will come, don't worry. I apologize for getting carried away."

It was the end of the memories they were seeking.

Stunned and in shock, Tanhìnrr didn't react. Mute and motionless, she stared at the ground without seeing it.

"Ma'eylan," Spxamvawm whispered, slowly removing his kuru.

Tanhìnrr crashed against his chest without saying anything.

"Is what he said true?" she asked in a faint voice. "That I am... what did he say?"

"No, that's not true."

“He wants to burn down the forest… out of jealousy? He thinks… he’s jealous of the forest? If he’s less jealous, he… maybe he won’t burn it down. I should go talk to him. But he’s discussing the forest with someone, and I can’t get out of here. I don’t know how to open the door.”

"I think this door only opens from the outside," suggested Spxamvawm. "I'm sorry about the yerik."

"I thought I saved him," she moaned.

A sob escaped her. She swallowed it.

“I want to help more. What can I do for you? Maybe you need soap. Me too. I washed my legs in the river, and that's it. We need underwear. Um… where are you going to… to get…”

"Boiler," Spxamvawm summarized, pointing to a metal cauldron near the door. "They empty it twice a day."

“By entering the room?”

"We could take advantage of this to save ourselves," guessed Spxamvawm.

Joey took that moment to return. He immediately took his captive by the arm. She offered no resistance, too exhausted to care.

"Kiyevame, ma'eylan," murmured Tanhìnrr.

« Kiyevame… Eywa’sänrr, » répondit Spxamvawm.

Joey took her back to her room. She lay down on the mattress and fell asleep immediately. He knelt in front of the bed and said something to her she didn't understand. When she opened her eyes again, she decided he was much too close to her face and moved away. He struggled to make her understand what he was saying, then gave up, took off his pants in front of her, and lay down on the mattress. Tanhìnrr suddenly didn't want to sleep so much anymore. Her eyes wide open, she waited for what would happen next. She felt her throat getting drier with every passing second. He said something else to her, fought against the language barrier, then gave up and put his arm around her.

The woman of light's verdict was clear: it would have been more pleasant if he had been shy instead of imposing himself; if he hadn't taken off his clothes like that, in front of her, without taking precautions to preserve their privacy; and if it had been someone else and not him.

She tried to tolerate him, but he pressed his face to her hair and kissed the back of her head. It was too much: disgust washed over her, as powerful as any she might have felt from sticking her nose in rotten flesh. She sat back down, thinking of taking the chair. He sat down too, giving her either excuses or justifications; then he went back to stretch out in his chair, continuing his gibberish. He was sulking.

Tanhìnrr managed to fall back asleep despite her guilt. When she woke up, Joey was gone. The door was locked, so she couldn't get out. To pass the time, she snooped around.

"Ngaytxoa, ma'Eywa. I'm about to do something very bad," she whispered, stealing a pair of pants and a tank top from Joey.

She put on two pairs to give one to Spxamvawm later. She was trying to tie Joey's spare boots and wondering where to find another pair when the commander himself burst into the room. He seemed surprised, but his eyes began to shine as he looked her up and down. The pants made her hips look wider, and the camisole hugged her... well.

"It really suits you," he admitted. "Here, you need some socks."

He handed her more clothes. Tanhìnrr didn't know what to do with them. She swallowed a groan as he took off her shoes and put on her socks. When he was done, he lunged at her to kiss her. They had both fallen to the ground, and Joey was holding her in his arms: she had a hard time pulling away. If it had been anyone else, even a stranger… But it was Joey, and Joey's lips were soft, warm, and shapeless; his skin stank and had a disgusting texture; even the bones of his jaw were disgusting. His body attracted her—he had beautiful arms, and he was muscular—but the mere memory of his body being attached to his head made her feel nauseous.

"No! I don't want it to be you!" she protested, finally managing to pull him away from her.

He was handsome and attractive, but she was scared, and her heart was bleeding. She couldn't help it and began to cry. Joey froze for a moment, then took her face again and kissed her again.

"No!" Tanhìnrr protested, pushing him away, but he did it again, and she had to pull away again.

For a moment, his eyes flashed with searing anger. She thought he was going to bolt, but instead, he leaned against the wall, framing her with his arms. Tanhìnrr felt her lungs turn to stone. Her blood froze in her veins, and she stared at him in terror and amazement, wondering if he would make the move.

"I'm tired of you telling me no," he growled.

Luckily, he turned back into his usual irritable Joey self and looked down with a sigh.

"Aren't you tired of it too?"

Tanhìnrr looked at the ground and began to cry. She was ashamed, but the tears flowed and she couldn't stop them. She tried to speak, but her body no longer obeyed her. She wanted to tell him that just because he was handsome didn't mean he had the right to do whatever he wanted to her.

She wanted to scream, and she was dying to run and curl up in Spxamvawm's arms to forget all about this disgusting story.

After a few minutes, she managed to say:

« Spxamvawm. Na'vi. Na'vi. »

Joey looked like he was wondering if consent was worth it, but then he rolled his eyes. He looked at Tanhìnrr almost hatefully.

"I'm going to get you one day," he hammered.

Long seconds passed, then Joey opened the door, his face somber.

"Who cares. He's just a Na'vi. I'm not going to jail for this," he said quietly to himself.

Tanhìnrr, who had never walked in shoes, almost fell, but he grabbed her arm roughly and dragged her forward. For once, she was glad this base was teeming with personnel. He wasn't going to touch her in front of people. As soon as she reached Spxamvawm's cell, she took off her shoes, ripped off her socks, and went to hide behind him, without bothering to be polite.

"I'm sorry," Joey said weakly. "But you really need to stop playing with my feelings. I know you love me, and you keep touching me. It's your fault. Your intentions aren't clear. Of course I'm getting tangled up."

"Why do I always have to be woken up like this?" grumbled Spxamvawm, opening one eye, then the other like a napping palulukan.

"You translate," Campbell ordered.

Before beginning, Spxamvawm turned his head, noticing the woman of light hiding behind him. Subtly, he raised his arm, just enough for her to notice but for the commander to miss, letting her know he would protect her. Knowing the soldier's words would hurt his friend, he chose to be diplomatic.

"I was sleeping. I didn't hear," he claimed.

Joey took this opportunity to put on a brave face: he walked around the warrior, knelt down, and took Tanhìnrr's hands.

“You hurt me. You pretend to be in love with me. Well, you are. I know you love me. You act like you do. But you make me feel like the bad guy when I touch you. I don't understand what you want. You see how much it hurts me. I don't want us to fight,” he insisted, squeezing her hands.

Spxamvawm grimaced, then translated this horror.

"I'm so sorry," Tanhìnrr apologized softly.

"Ma'eylan..." Spxamvawm protested sadly.

"I think you're right. I wasn't clear, and I hurt your feelings," she continued, close to tears.

Spxamvawm grumbled to himself that she was always pushing Joey away and always telling him no. She'd even formally rejected him. "She couldn't have been clearer," he grumbled to himself.

"Maybe I was too hard on you," she agreed (the translator shook his head in exasperation). "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I don't want us to argue either."

"But what did you do?" Spxamvawm protested inwardly, desperately. "You didn't do anything at all! You didn't say anything bad to her!" Despite his reservations, he translated her apology.

"I'll be clear: you're my friend, but I don't love you."

"You're lying because of him, aren't you?" Joey persisted.

Spxamvawm put his hand in his face.

"This is not possible," he growled.

"Look, I know you love me. I'm just asking you to stop pretending you're not interested. I see the way you look at me. I know how you feel," Joey insisted.

"Commander Campbell! You're horribly late!" barked a voice into the commander's radio.

"When I come back, I want you to..."

But he sighed and didn't finish his sentence.

"We'll talk about it again," he concluded, then he kissed the woman of light and left.

As soon as his back was turned, Tanhìnrr, who had stood frozen like a statue, burst into tears.

"Oh, ma'eylan," said Spxamvawm.

She curled up into a ball and pressed her forehead against her knees.

"I..." she tried. "I want to go home."

“We will,” Spxamvawm promised. “I… I want to go home too.”

"Sorry. That was a really sad thing to say," she confessed, looking up, smiling through her tears. "I found us some Sawtute clothes. I wear two layers. I couldn't find duplicates of those things to put on my feet."

She turned around and began to take off her clothes. Spxamvawm turned around as well, even placing himself between her and the glass wall. When she was down to her Na'vi clothes, she went to hide the others in Spxamvawm's hammock.

"Ma'eylan," the warrior asked softly. "What did he do to you?"

“He… he lay in my bed. He kissed my head. He left when I tried to get up. Then when I put his clothes on, just now, he started kissing me. Not like the other times. I… I think he's losing his temper. I don't recognize him anymore. He scares me terribly. In a way, I hope he's completely lost it. I wouldn't want him to feel bad, and besides, what would he do to make it up to me? In his place, after doing something so horrible, I would feel so bad that I would lose the will to live. I would be terrified. I hope he never realizes how much he hurt me,” she concluded.

Spxamvawm had the strange urge to kneel and pray. She was so kind that he was having a religious experience. He understood better why everyone called her Eywa'sänrr, and why those who had seen her praised her.

"Maybe I'm exaggerating, though," she muttered. "Maybe it's not so bad. He just kissed me."

"Are you sure?" the warrior asked delicately, suppressing the urge to take her hand.

"I think so. How are you... Has the faywll worked?" she asked, gently taking her friend's hand.

Even without his many fingers, the Na'vi hunter's hand was much larger than hers, so delicate. She felt him lower his head to look at their hands, too.

"He can't heal my heart. That's your specialty," he replied quietly, giving a smile.

Tanhìnrr looked up and placed her hand on his cheek. She liked the texture of it. His skin was soft and had the texture of smooth leather.

"Whether he did it by mistake or not, Joey made physical affection uncomfortable and unpleasant," she confessed, looking down. "I wish I had taken your hand before they..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Tears welled up in her friend's eyes, and he tried to blink them back but only half succeeded.

"Me too," he replied.

Suddenly, the door opened. A white-robed Tawtute stepped into the room, looking terrified. He was carrying a small bag in his hand. Tanhìnrr knelt down and smiled kindly to reassure him.

"I see you," he tried in the accent of someone who had learned from a book. "I, um. Here."

He offered the bag to Spxamvawm.

“I… I'm sorry. We made a mistake. I'm really sorry. Coming to Pandora was a mistake on our part. I think I'm going to come back to Earth, but first, I wanted to give these back to you. No one on the team is ready to put them back on, but it's… I don't know. I thought maybe you had a Na'vie technique and everything… but don't tell me I did, right? Oh, wait, and I have this, too. I hope you can read. All the fingers are labeled. That means you can know exactly where to put them if you trust the diagram you have here. Maybe I should stay here to help you. Jesus, I'm going to get slaughtered by the commander… but it's worth it. My son will know his father died a hero… or a redeeming villain. Okay, let's hurry…”

Spxamvawm knelt down and hugged the little man, then kissed his forehead. He couldn't say anything, but the surgeon seemed to understand. He shook his head to refuse his gratitude, but it didn't help. The warrior was stubbornly grateful.

After a long puzzle, all of Spxamvawm's mushroom fingers and toes were glued back on. They set about putting the bandages back on to hide them. Spxamvawm was overjoyed. He told the doctor how happy he was (and the doctor repeated that he didn't deserve his praise).

"If you want to stay on Eywa'eveng, you will have a place among the Kame'tires. You are my brother now," the warrior insisted.

As they talked, Tanhìnrr fashioned a small bead by wrapping the needle that had been used for surgery. She wrapped it with surgical thread, then pinned it to her hair, as close to her scalp as possible. “This bead is for the hope that arises in the most desperate situations,” she decided. “I will call it Hope.”

The small man turned to Tanhìnrr after extricating himself from the sticky reconnaissance that was forcing Spxamvawm to crush him in his large hunter's arms.

“I heard about you. We've all heard the rumors about a glowing Na'vi running around. I think Hell's Gate has a contest… who gets you first and all that. Sorry. I realize how morbid that is,” he muttered, looking down. “We thought Campbell took you for the reward; then he found a Na'vi without the glowing freckles. Do you know any others like you? You know, ones unlike any other. Because I think Campbell's going to try to find all of you.”

“I didn't even know Spxamvawm before we met here,” Tanhìnrr admitted sadly.

"I don't know anyone like me, except Tanhìnrr. Neither does she," Spxamvawm confirmed.

"Good. If you have children, take care of them," the scientist urged them, making Spxamvawm blush.

“When… her and I? Separately or together?” he asked, amused and mortified.

"It doesn't matter," the little man replied.

"He says if we have children, we'll have to look out for them," Spxamvawm translated, squirming in embarrassment.

Tanhìnrr turned red and squirmed too, and tried to hide her uncontrollable smile by putting her hand over her mouth.

"Is this your way of giving us your blessing, oeyä tsmukan?" Spxamvawm laughed.

"Wait," the scientist said, his eyes widening. "I know what to do. I'm going to get help. Can you tell me where to find the nearest Na'vi camp? And how to avoid getting killed on sight?"

"He's going to get help for us," Spxamvawm blurted out, breathless with emotion.

The two Na'vis looked at each other, stunned, then hugged the Tawtute, trying to thank him despite the tears that were choking them.

Tanhìnrr thought for a moment, then unrolled Hope, turned, replaced her top with Joey's camisole, and began to weave a map over it with the surgical thread.

"Here's the map that will guide you to the nearest camp. I think it belongs to the Aranahes," she murmured. "I'll explain the situation to them in a drawing."

"Wait, weave the weapons they have too..." Spxamvawm suggested.

Little by little, the image took shape. On one breast was the map. On the other, Spxamvawm and Tanhìnrr were locked in a cage and didn't look happy. She had to take off her loincloth and put on Joey's cargo pants to be able to draw the rest: the machine guns, the AMPs, the furnaces, and the trucks on the front; the cut trees on one buttock and the dead animals on the other.

Then Spxamvawm took off his top. It was a magnificent Kame'tire top made of pale bark and rough rope. He placed it gravely in the scientist's hands.

"Put this on," he ordered. "You're a friend of the Kame'tires. They won't touch you."

Tanhìnrr remade Hope and pinned it in his hair, then offered their ally a warm smile. Spxamvawm dipped two fingers into the drying blood on his arms, still sticky from surgery, and drew marks on the scientist's face, then colored them brown with dust. Against his brown skin, they were almost invisible.

"If a black ikran attacks you, don't be afraid. It's Uk, my faithful friend. Call it by its name. Remember it. Uk."

"Uk," repeated the Tawtute.

"You're ready. Go now. Don't get caught," the warrior finally advised.

"I'll pray for you," Tanhìnrr added. "Take care. Good luck."

The man nodded and hurried out of the cell, carrying his precious package with him. He marched briskly through the alcohol-washed corridors of the science department, where he went to refill his oxygen tank. He consulted the tablet where the schedule was written, with the intention of transferring to a mission outside the base. His sister burst into the lab without warning.

"Kevin, you're not going to believe this. Campbell wants to mess up my operation again, and what the hell are you doing with enough oxygen for a camping trip?" Dr. Marshall protested in annoyance.

"I'm going out. I heard they're going to burn all the nature around here. I'm going to take some samples," he explained ruefully.

"And your monkey costume?" she asked ironically.

"I stole it from the prisoners so I wouldn't get killed on sight by all their friends."

"You're still lying as badly as when you told Mom you didn't eat licorice at four in the morning," the doctor said ironically.

"I'm not lying!" Dr. Marshall snapped.

"You're doing something stupid," his sister declared. "Seriously, what are you doing? This better not get you court-martialed."

"Okay, fine. I'm telling you about it because I planned it poorly. I'm getting out of here, that's it. You saw what we're doing to the Na'vi. The Hippocratic Oath even exists in space!" the scientist fumed.

Dr. Marshall was silent for a few seconds.

"Where are you going?"

"You're going to put me in jail. I'm not telling you anything," he muttered.

"Keviiiiiiin," the doctor cried, rolling her eyes. "That's why I always told Mom everything. You couldn't follow the rule."

"There's a difference between eating licorice in the middle of the night and massacring innocent people in the name of science, Fanny," her brother snapped, his eyes full of resentment.

"Yes, the difference is that only one of them will take you to jail," she said ironically. "And I'm going to officially arrest you."

"I'm going to kill you," her brother muttered as she handcuffed him.

" Shut up. "

She began to push him towards the human holding cell.

"It's just a formality. You'll probably have a military escort for a few weeks, while we make sure you don't start your stupid behavior again. You're not going to jail, don't worry," she reassured him, patting his shoulder from behind.

"Honestly, I should have known you were going to come to me and cry about the Commander," Dr. Marshall grumbled.

"I swear, he's an idiot. He ordered his men to burn our land without going through me. He doesn't know the protocol. And don't talk to me about his native girlfriend. That guy is sick," the doctor growled.

"Fanny, you didn't come here doing cryo for fifteen years just to send a letter to Mom saying, 'Hi Mom! We're committing crimes against humanity and breaking the Hippocratic Oath! Kisses!'... I know you don't like that either," her brother insisted.

"We're doing this to advance science," his sister sighed.

"That excuse would never have worked on Earth," he muttered.

"You're really annoying today," Dr. Marshall growled. "Give me your X-ray."

He obeyed with a grunt. She took all his things, even his shoes, and packed them in a large plastic bag, then locked him in the cell, removed his handcuffs, and locked the door.

"It's for your own good," she concluded.

"Gneh gneh gneh gneh," his brother mocked, rolling his eyes.

Fanny Marshall went to put the bag in a locker, locked it, and then returned to her sheep. They had important things to do today. This was no time to desert.

She walked past that idiot Joey Campbell, didn't bother to greet him, and quickly walked past him. Campbell hated her as much as she hated him and did the same. His initiative had been rejected. He was humiliated and needed a victory. He was fed up with never being able to do what he wanted...

So he returned to the observation cell in which Spxamvawm was being held and was displeased to see that Tanhìnrr was there.

"You two can't keep your hands off each other, can you? You're visiting him in secret?" he tried to joke.

"You got us stuck here when you left," Spxamvawm rebuffed.

"You shut up. You don't speak unless I ask you to translate," the commander ordered sharply. "Here, you've taken off those savage clothes. They look much better on you. Which makes me think you need a bath."

He sighed as he guided Tanhìnrr by the wrist.

"I'm tired of playing commander with you. Especially you. If you were nicer..." he sighed again.

He took them far away from the observation cell to some small, poorly maintained showers that stank.

"I'm a gentleman, so I'll let you undress," Joey said, laughing.

“The wall is transparent,” Tanhìnrr murmured.

"The wall is transparent," Spxamvawm translated.

"I didn't ask you anything. Come on, take your clothes off," Joey ordered sharply. "And hurry up, or I'll lose control. It's not my fault. I'm sure that guy drools all day long from seeing you sway like that. Okay, I said I'd control myself. Be patient, Joey..."

Watching Joey try to control himself was a miracle.

Spxamvawm stood in front of Tanhìnrr, opened his arms to cover her, and closed his eyes. She smiled, blinked back her tears, and undressed.

"After all, this is Pandora. No one's going to break my balls over a Na'vi..." Joey muttered to himself.

“Hurry up, ma'eylan,” Spxamvawm whispered.

"No, not in front of that guy," Joey finally decided. "He's the one who's really pissing me off. Okay, go on, wash up."

"What does he say?" asked Tanhìnrr.

"I'll tell you later," his friend managed to reply, his heart in his throat.

He put his hand over his mouth, but could not control himself and began to cry silently.

"Don't be a wimp," Joey protested with a snicker.

“Oh, ma'eylan…” Tanhìnrr lamented.

She wanted to touch her cheek, but remembered she was naked and changed her mind. Joey was practically drooling and daydreaming about something very filthy. The two Na'vi exchanged a desperate, pleading look. Time almost stood still. It seemed as if lightning had struck them, that everything was wrong, and nothing was sacred anymore.

He wasn't going to do that, was he? There was a line... There were rules that shouldn't be ignored... What was his problem? Was nothing sacred anymore? Everyone could do whatever they wanted now? Who cared about etiquette? Who cared about common sense?

She wanted to come back home...

"Come on, are you washing up or what, Tammy?" Joey protested, his tone too cheerful for what was happening.

She felt guilty. Nothing was happening, actually. With a heavy heart, she dragged herself into the shower and turned the handles until water poured out of the hose above her head. She shivered as the cold water assaulted her back. Spxamvawm's mind was racing. "Cut his kuru. Drop him in the shower. Hit him. Beat him."

"If he touches you, pee on him or relieve yourself the other way," Spxamvawm suggested quietly.

He was still in front of her, and his eyes were still closed, even though he was facing the other way. He began to hum an old Kame'tire song whose words she didn't know, but which filled her with nostalgia and sadness, for it was a song about a deceased lover. She joined her voice to his. Joey forgot her predatory urges and leaned on his fist to listen to him sing, his eyes full of syrupy adoration.

Trembling, the woman of light washed her long hair, careful not to dislodge the beads from her necklace-of-life. She noticed the felts: horrible, almost solid patches of matted, almost solid hair that made her want to scream. It took a colossal effort to keep singing when she felt like bursting into tears and curling up in a ball. She used the artificial-smelling soap, thinking of the grease soap she used at home. She missed the days when she thought the Sawtute were children playing with her. She wished she could go back to those days, or better yet, go back home; but then she wouldn't have known Spxamvawm.

"We can talk without him knowing by pretending to sing," the young woman hummed.

"If I kill him, the others will kill us as soon as we leave this room," the warrior replied, singing.

She didn't answer.

"I can do it if you think it's worth it," he continued.

"No, I don't want him to die. I'm glad he's mad. He won't die of shame," sang Tanhìnrr.

He didn't answer.

"We have to wait for our friend to call for help," she added.

"Tell me what to do to protect you, Ma'eylan," Spxamvawm said, fighting back tears.

"Well, come on, don't use all the water, Tammy darling," Joey giggled. "You're a really good singer, you know. You should sing for me sometime."

"He wants you to turn off the water. Good. I think you're safe now. Well, relatively."

“Hooray,” Tanhìnrr said sarcastically, turning on the tap.

"If I hit him, will he kill me, or maim me again?" the warrior wondered, glaring at Joey, who was giving the woman of light a towel.

He began to rub her shoulders.

"She knows how to do it," Spxamvawm muttered as Tanhìnrr rolled his shoulder to push his hand away.

Joey sighed horribly. Spxamvawm's blood boiled, then froze in his veins. But Campbell calmed down. He even laughed.

"I have all the time in the world," he declared, oddly relaxed. "And I'd rather you stink. Maybe she'll stop giving you the fried whiting eyes if you smell like shit."

So they left the showers.

"I'll find you some more clothes, you'll see," Joey promised, taking Tanhìnrr's hand.

She grimaced, but didn't dare back out.

"And I suddenly have a great idea. Thanks, darling," he said, kissing her cheek. "You put on some human clothes yourself, and you took a shower. I think this is officially the start of Operation… I don't know what to call it. We're going to assimilate you. Operation Assimilation, you know. I bet everyone's going to be coming to Pandora looking for a Na'vi lover now. I don't know if I want them to do the same thing, though. It's my idea; I want to be the only one to do it."

Dr. Marshall categorically refused his idea and went to her brother's cell to complain.

"I can help you, but you're going to have to let me out of here," Dr. Marshall offered.

"No," her sister replied, then burst out laughing. "I'll peck you. What's your idea?"

"The Na'vi said I was his brother. I'll tell you what I did: I glued his fingers back on."

"But you idiot, you had to tell me! It's fantastic, you piece of shit!" his sister yelled, taking him in her arms and rubbing her fist through his hair. "We're experimenting on the Na'vi to see if they survive human diseases, you fucking piece of God's shit! You're such an idiot! You go back into the room and report back to me! Shit, Kevin, you're such an idiot! It stinks, the shit in your brain! Go ahead!"

Kevin spoke Fanny, and that meant she was happy and relieved not to have to put her beloved brother in jail.

"You're so stupid! And it worked? Explain!" the doctor yelled.

"Calm down!" laughed his brother, relieved and happy too. "The girl gave him Dapophet, I'm sure. It was healed to the max. But I had the idea to open the big veins in his stumps and also open the ones in the bits we tore off, then glue them together. When I was done doing that, I gave him more Dapophet. Two pods, I think. Another one just to be sure. And it works, holy shit, IT WORKS. That's why we came to this planet in the Devil's ass!"

They began jumping up and down, turning in circles, and laughing like hyenas.

"You little shit, I was going to put you in jail for doing your job properly!" the doctor lamented, putting an arm around her brother.

"That's not all. I... I don't really know what to do anymore. He wanted me to go to his house for help. They gave me a map and everything. But... I don't want to kill our team. Or you."

"Yes, or me," her sister replied sarcastically. "Well, you're not doing that, that's clear. Unless... Well. Well, well, well. I think I know what to do. You're going to play along. I'm going to let you go back to them as planned. But not right away. I'm going to put you in the secret op, you're going to be promoted. As soon as we're done with our work, you go to them and get help. We evacuate all the personnel. We transfer the humans who have Avatars elsewhere, to safety. We let the Avatars fight the Na'vi. The Na'vi kill our Avatars, they think they've won the battle, they don't suspect a thing. We suffer no losses. We win too. The two idiots go home."

"Why do you agree to send them back?" Kevin Marshall asked.

"Are you stupid? I didn't intend to keep them for their entire lives. Hell, I'm a scientist, not a prison guard. And besides, the longer we keep them, the more likely we are to get killed. It's dangerous, keeping Na'vi captive. And then there are idiots like you who risk deserting... If the team has any remorse, and they probably do, we can't afford to continue, or we'll have no team left. And besides, we win, too. The Na'vi think it's easy to chase us off or kill us. So the other bases will have the element of surprise the next time there's a battle."

The Marshall brothers and sisters hugged each other, relieved at the turn of events.

"And we don't say anything to that crazy Campbell, understand? He'll ruin everything."

"I don't like him any more than you do," the brother snorted, rolling his eyes. "You're the one he was flirting with before he found that Na'vi girl. I haven't forgotten."

"I feel sorry for her, though," the sister giggled. "Well, I have to go brief the secret op team. You're having dinner with us tonight. We have a bottle that's aged fifteen years without any effort, just by coming with us in cryo. I think we just found the solution for little Riverby, and what's more, we figured out how to sap that gorilla's morale. That's something to celebrate. I'll talk to you later. You try not to screw things up."

"Thank you," Dr. Marshall grimaced.

This gorilla was walking as if he were kicking the ground.

"Mrs. Marshall," he began, trying to control his fury.

"Start again," the doctor interrupted very coldly.

"I don't know what I said wrong, ma'am," Joey repeated.

"All right, Captain Campbell, let's play this game, but I warn you that I will always win," replied the head doctor, looking down on him.

"It's 'Commander' Campbell," Joey protested.

“Not anymore. I want your sole focus to be finding us some weird Na'vi to study. No more making out with your… your blue doll,” she snapped, her nose wrinkling in disgust. “I promoted you, and I transferred you here. You help our cause, and you stop being childish, or I'll arrange for you to clean the feet of the combat AMPs at Hell's Gate. Understand?”

Campbell sighed and looked at the floor, looking disappointed and oddly condescending at the same time.

"Yes, I understood you," he sighed.

“Yes, I understand you, Dr. Marshall,” Marshall said.

"Yes, I heard you, Dr. Marshall," Joey repeated with a heavy sigh.

She finally understood his expression: he was acting as if he were reluctantly indulging a whim, and congratulating himself on being patient.

"Get the hell out of here, Captain Campbell," she ordered, waving her hand in front of him as if swatting away an insect.

"But I --"

"I gave you an order. Get the hell out of here."

"Okay," he sighed as he left.

"What do you think he wanted?" the brother asked.

"That forest nonsense again. He left me four messages. I said no to the first one. He should just read it again," the sister muttered.

"This guy really doesn't understand the word 'no,'" Dr. Marshall sighed.

"He's the same guy who asked me out fifteen thousand times," his sister added.

"She's a lesbian and married, she's clearly interested," he quipped.

The sister rolled her eyes and turned on her radio.

“Captain Campbell, lead me on a reconnaissance mission right away. Find a native camp and hide. I want to know everything about them. You tell me who's leaving when and what our hostiles look like. It's strictly forbidden to engage the enemy. If they see you, you get the hell out, understand? No AMPs. Avatars if you like, I don't care. And right now. Maximum five men in all.”

"Yes, Dr. Marshall," the captain replied hatefully.

"You handle this properly and prove to me that you can move up the ranks. Over."

Joey turned off his radio and turned back to Tanhìnrr, who was trapped in his arms and lips.

"She hates me because I was in love with her. She was too proud and rejected me. I bet she's jealous that I found someone else, and she wants to make me suffer," he explained. "You translate."

"She hates me because I was in love with her. She was too proud and rejected me. I bet she's jealous that I found someone else, and she wants to make me suffer," repeated Spxamvawm, who found translating all this as boring as I find repeating the same sentence twice in a row. "Eywa, have mercy on us."

Tanhìnrr managed to laugh despite the situation she was in (and the arms she was in).

"Kill us, someone," the warrior continued, his eyes shining, pleased to have made her laugh a little, and she giggled again.

He wanted to put himself between her and that damn Tawtute and shield her with his body, but that was as impossible as his fantasy of punching her as soon as he entered the cell. He also wanted to take his friend's hand or tail to let her know he was there and thinking of her, but he knew any physical contact had been tainted by Campbell. He did nothing and so he continued to imagine fifteen different ways to beat his enemy.

"Well, I still have to go. I would have taken you, but it's delicate, darling. I promise I'll be all yours tonight when I get back," he hinted with a wink.

He started kissing her again. Tanhìnrr gasped and closed his eyes, trying not to cry, but fighting back his sobs made the tears fall even faster. Spxamvawm clenched his jaw so hard he had to stop to keep from breaking his teeth.

"Translate, blue monkey," Joey protested weakly against the light woman's lips.

Both Na'vi gagged at the sight (and smell) of him doing something so intimate. Tanhìnrr found his hot breath repulsive. His soft lips against hers... his scent... his skin... It was disgusting.

"Contest of who can make their lunch the fastest?" joked Spxamvawm.

Even trapped inside his face, the young woman smiled and let out a small burst of laughter. At least he could make her laugh. At the same time, she thought he was like her star in the darkness of the night.

"He said... 'Well, I have to go again. I would have taken you, but it's delicate, darling. I promise I'll be all yours tonight when I get back.' I'm really going to be sick."

“Ma’eylan!” protests Tanhìnrr.

Her beautiful smile warmed Spxamvawm's heart.

"What does she say?" the captain asked impatiently.

"What does she say?" the warrior repeated in a dull, uninterested voice.

“Good luck. Be careful. I hope no one gets hurt. Please watch out for insects under your feet, don't crush plants, and don't kill animals.”

"She wishes you luck, to be careful, that no one gets hurt, and suggests you not destroy the flora and fauna to avoid detection," Spxamvawm translated.

Finally, the soldier left the room. Spxamvawm immediately took his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes.

"I have nothing funny to say," he muttered.

"That's funny in itself, ma'eylan," Tanhìnrr admitted, laughing unexpectedly.

She approached him, wanted to take his hands, but let go.

“I am very grateful to you. You make me laugh. It’s precious. Thank you very much.”

She looked down, wrung her hands, and continued:

“Like a star in the darkness.”

To avoid further inspection of what she had just said, she continued hastily:

"I think I'll go to sleep. I don't have much energy left..."

"Please take the hammock. I'll take the blanket," Spxamvawm insisted.

"Are you sure? I can't bear the thought of you sleeping on the floor."

"You're kind, ma'sänrr, but I --"

Spxamvawm choked and blushed a little. As best he could, he continued:

"Um... I mean... with what he's doing to you... you know... I think it would help to have an enclosed space. You know, a place you can close off. A kind of protective shell..."

“I understand. Thank you, ma'eylan,” Tanhìnrr said sadly. “I wish I had suggested the same thing to Joey. He lent me his bed. Instead of lying down with me, I wish he had asked me to sleep on the chair… I should have suggested it myself. I don't want to steal his bed… Oh, don't worry about me, ma'eylan. I'll rest, and it'll be better.”

“Don't worry. Anyone can see you mean no harm. You radiate goodwill like mushroom spores. I wish I could protect you more, Ma'eylan. Forgive me,” the warrior apologized in turn, lowering his gaze.

Boiling tears of shame wet her eyes.

"I'll tell him to leave you alone," he promised.

"No, he'll hurt you. Please don't do anything."

"An injury received while defending someone is not painful."

“Don't forget that I want to protect you too, Ma'eylan,” Tanhìnrr whispered, looking at him tenderly, but she quickly looked away. “I just hope… Sometimes I'm afraid he's right. That… secretly, I want him to touch me.”

Spxamvawm looked at her with gentle affection in his eyes.

"There is no shame in loving a Tawtute. If that is your choice, I will respect it, and I will be happy for you."

"You wouldn't have minded that? Even if he's a Tawtute?" Tanhìnrr repeated, surprised.

“No, Ma'eylan. It's entirely your decision, and I support your decisions, because I trust your judgment. Even if you told me you'd changed your mind and loved him, I wouldn't mind. The only downside would be if it put you in danger, but even then, it would be your choice to make; and I would only have to try to help you if danger found you.”

Slowly, the woman of light stood on tiptoe and placed a soft kiss on Spxamvawm's forehead. He felt as if he might faint. The tender touch of her lips, so delicate, so careful, moist and warm, seemed to imprint itself forever on his skin. He forgot how to breathe and how to move and didn't react when she slipped into the hammock, throwing the blanket at his feet. He remained there without moving for a long moment.

Joey's operation lasted all day and a good part of the night. Tanhìnrr spent it sleeping; Spxamvawm spent it hoping she would wake up soon. He was distracted by the janitor's visit, who washed the bloodstain on the floor that had been produced by the clandestine surgery, and emptied the boiler.

Spxamvawm hated relieving himself in that cauldron. It was humiliating. He had no privacy, and besides, the smell wafted through the room like a foul, stinky cloud. He'd gotten into the habit of doing it just before the caretaker arrived, which made him complain that the toilet was still warm and stinky, and he couldn't wait, the damn blue monkey?

As soon as he saw the caretaker come down the stairs and begin his rounds, he'd wait until his back was turned and go over. It was awful. And the worst part was, he now had to teach Tanhìnrr, a death doula, healer, and midwife all rolled into one, how to do the same thing. And quickly, too; the heavy creak of the door echoed through the room, making it vibrate. He could feel the attendant beginning his rounds.

"Ma'eylan, I'm sorry, but you should take the cauldron and relieve yourself right now before the broomstick man empties it," he whispered, then realized he didn't need to whisper and laughed to himself.

Tanhìnrr opened his eyes; he saw her through the thick mesh of the hammock. His eyelids were heavy with sleep.

"Okay," she mumbled.

She rubbed her face, opened the hammock, and walked over to the boiler without question or pausing to consider the horror of the situation. Spxamvawm looked away and went to the other corner of the room to give her some semblance of privacy.

"They left us nothing to wipe ourselves with," her friend finally whispered.

"No," he replied. "I use the rim of the boiler."

"Oh, Ma'eylan... I'm going to try to convince Joey to let you use the bathroom in his room. He has some tissue."

"I hope help arrives soon," the warrior said, looking down and blinking back tears.

Tanhìnrr considered eating her excrement and using paywll to keep from getting sick, but she ran out. She had used all her pods for the surgery.

"Do you think the broomstick man would give you anything to wash yourself with? It might get infected," she explained sadly.

"No," replied Spxamvawm.

He sat down heavily on the floor, defeated.

“I asked him. He told me to never talk to him about my excrement again. I sometimes still hear him complaining about it when he's with people. He doesn't understand that it's a necessary conversation. He only thinks about his disgust,” he admitted with a sigh. “I was ashamed, too, to bring it up.”

“I'm not ashamed. I'm used to uncomfortable conversations. At home, I changed the sick people's bandages and bathed them. Pus, blood, mold, excrement… None of it affects me anymore,” Tanhìnrr explained in a lighter tone, coming to sit next to him.

“Have you always been a healer?” asked Spxamvawm.

“Yes. Well… not always,” she corrected. “I’ve always had visitors who were suffering, and I’ve always wanted to heal them. I didn’t learn the art of healing until I was a teenager. The art of comforting came to me earlier.”

He had to look away so as not to embarrass her with his tender expression.

“The hardest part was enduring the screams and the tears. Hearing people's suffering did more than sadden me. It horrified me to the core. When I was very young, I cried. I would curl up in a ball, screaming and covering my ears. But people were understanding. They loved it when I cried for them. They saw in me Eywa's goodness and knew then that she was suffering as much as they were, that she didn't want them to be in pain.”

"I'm sorry, Ma'eylan. That must have been difficult," he offered, abandoning his plan to take her hand at the last second, remembering that she would be scared and uncomfortable.

"It was very, very difficult, but my people's reaction helped me greatly. Besides, we tolerate suffering better when we know how to stop it. When I started healing people, I was less afraid, I was in less pain."

The woman of light lost herself in the bittersweet memories of her solitary existence as Eywa's envoy. She had felt so alone and lost, but at the same time, she had been happy. She missed the Omatikayas' Tree-Home. Nostalgia exhausted her. Without the sky to tell her the time, she couldn't tell how long she had slept, or how long she had spent in Spxamvawm's cell. She didn't know if she had eaten or drunk that day. A desire consumed her: to enter her room, passing the sick people praying at her door, to kiss their foreheads before closing the door, to undress, brush her hair with her zakrus brush, and listen to the faun sing for a little while before falling asleep naked, curled up in her soft hammock. The familiar touch of her hair enveloping her like a kinglor cocoon, in that time so long ago but so close when she still had long hair… She felt like a caterpillar sheltered in its chrysalis. She felt good. The mere idea of ​​sleeping while the sunlight filtered through the window and illuminated the walls, the moss on the floor, and the dust particles in the air was enough to rest her. She was more than tired of being a prisoner of these square walls of cold stone. She wanted to cook over a wood fire and taste again the crispy pan-fried food she made with cereals and nectar; she wanted to run along the large mossy roots and drop into the river that also ran beneath the root. She wanted to put her head underwater and watch the fish wriggling to escape her; she wanted to admire from afar the running animals that fled at the slightest sound from her. She wanted to look up to see the ikran riders whose mounts howled in the breeze; she wanted to admire and envy them, she wanted to accidentally scare the ikrans lying on the ground by trying to pet them.

She didn't miss the endless line of sick and injured. This realization took her breath away and troubled her greatly. Perhaps she should make some changes when she got home. She would spend more time exploring and less time helping. Maybe she needed some time off.

Meditating on the subject, she climbed into the hammock; but she looked down at Spxamvawm and changed her mind.

"You'd be lonely if I slept hidden," she guessed. "If you don't mind, I can sleep near you."

She looked down as she said this and felt her cheeks burn.

"I hope it won't be uncomfortable," replied the warrior, going to sit on his blanket.

Tanhìnrr followed him. Too tired to be embarrassed, she lay down beside him. She hesitated, wanting to put her head on his thigh; he rubbed her shoulder as if to say he accepted. So she used his leg as a pillow; her nose buried in a crease of his trousers, she tried to forget the prison in favor of his scent.

But soon, the natural comfort of physical closeness, the warm, reassuring embrace that had erased the wounds in her heart, faded as well. She thought of Joey again: Joey and his too-present presence in her bed, Joey and his smell, Joey and his arms, Joey fidgeting too much and preventing her from calming down, Joey and his breathing, Joey and the beating of his heart. She gently pulled away, turned her back on her friend, and curled up into a ball, trying to calm her breathing.

"Do you want to go back to the hammock?" Spxamvawm asked softly, speaking in a low voice as if it were really night.

"I don't know. I can't stop seeing Joey instead. He haunts me in the worst way. I see him everywhere like a stubborn stain that won't go away."

She raised her head.

"I don't want you to feel lonely. I'll stay here," she decided.

She unrolled, but didn't turn over. Spxamvawm replaced the blanket, then watched the back of her head as she gently fell asleep.

"I've had too easy a life in this prison. Joey neglects you and pampers me. I want to right the balance," she explained slowly, her voice sounding sleepy.

"I don't blame you. Your Joey needs to treat us both better," he tried to protest, but she was already asleep.

Chapter Text

He watched her sleep for two hours that were sweeter and more pleasant than he would have thought. He lost himself in a reverie that was sweet, too. He thought of his ikran Uk and everything he had seen through her eyes while doing the tsaheylu with him. He thought of the ikran games, the rivalries, the mockery made while laughing with a great animal growl and raising his muzzle to the sky. The mother of Uk's companion, a blood-red matron who had faded with age, who looked down on everyone from the top of her rock and shouted at the young ones for no reason. Uk's brother, his fishing companion, tied to a young Kame'tire hunter who couldn't hunt properly. The pathetic and amusing complaints of the wild ikrans when they saw their tame companions receiving caresses and treats. The games of the ikrans that circled around the ikran aviary to mock the young Na'vi who were trying to find theirs; the old ikrans that circled lower, under the roots, remembering their master's fear and aiming to catch the falling adolescents. The young ikrans that dived near the roots and floating rocks to unsettle the young hunters by laughing their lizard-like laughter; the ikran battles that made a noise like thunder and ended with Na'vi between each duelist and many treats in their blue hands. The veteran hunters who tried to cook while saving their food from the jaws of their ikran, and who ended up fighting with it while rolling on the ground and laughing. The children and babies who tried to touch the snout of a wild ikran, the pitiful cries when they learned that they would not have their own until they were teenagers; the little ikrans who waddled in front of a cliff hoping to join these blue Na'vis and receive their caresses, caught in mid-flight clumsy by the blood-red matron and put back on the stone colossus, because it was not yet time. The first contact between the newborn and his mother's ikran, eager to put his nose on this soft little thing that smelled so good; the mother's ikran rebuffed by the father's, carried by the desire to protect the child he felt in his master, but rebuffed in turn by the father. The noses of the two ikrans on the baby's rounded belly, the warm breath of the moist nostrils on the round cheeks and the small closed eyes. The ikrans finally rejected for having tried to chew the baby, a gesture of affection too reptilian for the fragile little being. The baby ikrans were affectionately chewed by their parents, squealing to free themselves but running after them on their tiny paws to start again as soon as the adult lost interest. The adults chewed the eggs late to delicately spit out the trapped baby,which fell wet and sticky on the stone floor; the domestic ikrans trying to chew the pregnant woman's belly and not understanding why everyone was laughing and pushing them away.

He had the misfortune of attending many ikran funerals. The funeral of an old and venerable being was a celebration of life; but that of an unfortunate man who died too soon was devastating. He remembered the cries of despair of the hunter whose ikran had fallen; he remembered how he refused to let go of his mount and had asked to be buried with him; he remembered how the man had painted his entire body black and refused all communal activity after this monumental loss, hunting alone and spending nights outside thinking about his mount, watching the starry sky and imagining Eywa smiling at him, She who saw the spirits of dead ikrans crisscrossing that same sky while his own eyes remained blind. Spxamvawm remembered being deeply troubled, holding Uk's muzzle to his heart for a long time, then gathering a few things and spending a week in the ikrans' nest to remember that they weren't all dead, that they had only just lost one, and that the rest was a teeming mess of teeth, wings, and vibrant, joyful tails. He had heard that the Ocean People also bonded with wild creatures, the tulkuns; and that even though the tulkuns could speak, sing, and think, the Forest People's Bond with the ikrans was just as strong. Spxamvawm had been lucky enough to encounter a group of Ocean People fishermen on a pilgrimage to meet this Eywa'sänrr and bring her prayers to the rest of their People. He had spoken with them briefly and had the chance to compare the ikrans to the tulkuns. They had exchanged recipes, stories, and memories, then they had gone their separate ways and would not see each other again until Eywa. The Forest People and the Ocean People were as if separated by a watertight barrier. They didn't communicate often. It wasn't for lack of trying, but they lived very far from each other and would have had difficulty reaching each other.

He was there in his reverie when Tanhìnrr finally woke up. She just stared blankly at the ceiling. To distract her, he told her about ikrans.

"Ma'Uk has a white-coated mate; but his mate's mother is blood red. I think Uk's mate carries the red-coated gene. If she and Uk ever have children, I'm certain at least one of them will be red, orange, or pink."

"I like the idea of ​​a pink ikran. They're rare, aren't they?" she asked, smiling softly.

"I think they grow—sorry, that pigment is more common in the Misty Mountains. You know, fa'li are pink in the Heart of the Plains."

“Have you ever been there?” she asked again.

"No. The Zeswas sometimes hold their Great Games in the Heart of the Plains, but I never attended. My grandfather went. I believe he was among the champions of heavy archery."

“I've only shot a bow twice, when hunters asked me to bless their bow as I fired the first arrow. You seem to know a lot about animals. Have you ever heard of creatures that glow as much as I do? Exceptional creatures, not bioluminescent. Maybe they wouldn't be afraid of me,” the woman of light explained sadly.

"Animals are afraid of the Na'vi. At least, the ones they see. They're not afraid of me, because I don't shine, and they notice me less."

Tanhìnrr grimaced sulkily, but couldn't help it and smiled.

"I didn't know people asked you to bless their weapons," he confessed.

"They ask me to bless many things. I also give my blessing to hunting expeditions, and I pray to Eywa for good harvests."

Spxamvawm carefully unhooked his life-necklace from his belt and turned it over for a few moments, searching for a specific bead, which he then showed to his friend. It was a tiny ikran spirit shell, a rare shell that must have taken a long time to find.

“This is my gem dedicated to the ikrans. As a teenager, I attended the funeral of an ikran. It was particularly difficult. His fitter was beside himself with grief. After the ceremony, I found Uk, and we went to live in his nest for a few days. I learned a lot about their way of life during that stay.”

Tanhìnrr was touched by her story and raised her hand to touch her cheek. Joey's hand came back to her after a few milliseconds of peace, and she had to pull it back.

“You seem to have had a good life, Ma'eylan.”

But where did Joey get all those water bottles from? It wasn't important right now. She picked one up and drank it.

"Do you think we'll get out of here soon?" she asked, her voice choked with tears.

They went to crash into his hand.

“I’m terribly unhappy,” she admitted, then pulled herself together and dried her tears. “I shouldn’t talk about such awful things. We need to focus on the good things. Forgive me.”

"Mawey, ma'eylan," the warrior replied softly, taking her hand. "Don't be afraid to be unhappy."

He let go of her hand, but she nestled against his chest.

"We will get out of here. You will have children. You will meet your ikran. You will bless the arrows and weapons. The Omatikayas will never let the light of their People remain imprisoned," he promised in a low voice.

"Children are not allowed to play with me," she confided sadly.

His hot breath against her chest made Spxamvawm shiver.

“Yet I adore them. I hope they know that. My day brightens when I am asked to bless a newborn. I love looking at their little round ears and their naked kuru. I love stroking their round cheeks and kissing their tiny noses, I love pawing their feet, so round, so soft, and watching them wiggle their little toes,” she continued.

She suddenly scowled.

"I hope Joey doesn't try to... to be intimate with me. It's strange to say, but I'd feel guilty. I'd be ashamed. And... I don't want it to be my first time. I'm not allowed to take a companion, but if I did, I wouldn't want a first time in a place like this, or with Joey."

"I--" Spxamvawm tried.

“Oh, please don't defend me. He'd hurt you. I think I'm starting to get used to the idea of ​​him touching me. I'm a little scared, but—I beg your pardon. This isn't a subject to discuss out loud.”

She continued to think about it anyway. She was afraid it would hurt, that it would last a long time, that on the contrary, she would enjoy it… She tried to imagine the situation in its smallest details to get used to it as quickly as possible. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, just unpleasant but not torturous.

Spxamvawm, with his hand over his mouth, had to give the worst advice he had ever had to give:

"If he touches you, try to be as... try to... get him as excited as possible so he'll finish faster. Make noise. Writhe. Touch him, do anything, as long as it works. It won't last as long."

There was silence. They looked at each other, then hugged and cried silently.

"This might hurt," Spxamvawm continued, sounding guilty even though it wasn't his fault at all. "If you have any grease or anything oily... use it. It won't hurt as much."

"Where should I use it?" she asked.

"Um... the... the..." he stammered. "You know..."

He made a gesture.

« Ah, » fit Tanhìnrr.

"Yes," he replied. "Excuse me. I should never talk about this kind of thing, but I didn't know if you... if you knew."

"No," she answered quietly.

"Wait!" exclaimed Spxamvawm, sitting up suddenly. "I know what to do! Some animals have... thorns on their genitals. We could try to... but with what?"

"I still have a needle!" concluded Tanhìnrr, straightening up as well. "We could create some kind of... some kind of invisible pouch that fits like underwear and slides in without being seen... But we'd risk hurting me, too..."

"And we don't have any materials," Spxamvawm concluded with a grimace. "What if you pricked it directly with your needle?"

“Oh, I’m not allowed to hurt,” Tanhìnrr murmured, mortified. “We can’t make these bramble panties, Ma’eylan. It would go against everything I believe in. I almost forgot… It’s awful. Don’t worry. I’ll get used to it. Would you be able to help me learn how to defend myself without hurting my opponent?”

"I guess I can teach you how to dodge blows," the warrior conceded, standing up.

They trained all day. The idea came to both of them: to mate together so Joey wouldn't have Tanhìnrr's first time. Neither of them dared say it out loud.

Joey came back in the middle of the night. He dragged Tanhìnrr into his room, locked the door, took off all his clothes, and got into bed with her. He didn't even try to pretend to ask permission and shoved his hand down his pants. He was breathing like an 'angtsik. He always breathed like an 'angtsik. "Okay," Tanhìnrr thought, and she sighed. "This is happening. He's touching me." He was hurting her.

She only cried when he took off her clothes. He didn't seem to mind her complete lack of participation. She could hear him making noises behind her. She was glad she didn't speak her language, because he spoke to her. She didn't have to do anything at all. He was able to amuse himself by using her body like a doll.

The penetration hurt excruciatingly. She felt like she was going to explode and wondered if she was going to bleed everywhere. She tried to stop him, but he grabbed her arms and prevented her from getting up. It wouldn't go in, it was too big, it was impossible; but he ignored her screams, pretended she wasn't struggling to get free, managed not to see or feel him tearing her apart from the inside.

She prayed she wouldn't get pregnant when he emptied. He seemed overjoyed, but she felt like screaming. She wanted to bellow like an animal and run away. She wondered if he would have agreed to mate with a corpse, since he didn't care whether his partner reacted or not. She wished she had asked Spxamvawm to give her her first time.

He waited a few seconds and wanted to start again, but she moved away from him and pulled back the covers, her eyes bulging and her nose red. There was blood on the mattress.

"I'll wash the bed, it's no big deal, darling," Joey replied with the dreamy air of someone who hasn't just raped a woman but has just made love to his lover.

She had been afraid of feeling different after the act, but she was still the same Tanhìnrr. Perhaps if she convinced herself that it wasn't a perversion that would taint her forever, but an act of violence on the same caliber as a punch in the face, she would feel better.

Cutting her thoughts short, he started again. She tore again, bled again, cried again. When he was finished, he caressed her stomach and thighs, stained with blood and semen, kissed the back of her neck as he pressed himself against her on the red-and-white stained bed. She wondered if her wound would get infected. Perhaps the friends of the scientist who had mended Spxamvawm would want to help her too.

Once again, she felt ashamed. She was ashamed to have participated in such a heinous act. She was ashamed in anticipation of telling the story. She would be ashamed to give the details, ashamed of the blood, the semen, the kisses. She would be ashamed to have to imprint such horror on people's minds. She wondered if she would tell Spxamvawm after all. Perhaps it would be better to keep quiet. She didn't want to hurt him, or disgust him. She didn't want him to think of the bloody bed when he saw her. She didn't want him to associate her with this misfortune.

She knew she wasn't guilty of this atrocity, that she had been its victim, but still, she felt it was her fault, that she had done something wrong. She wanted to ask Eywa for forgiveness.

Sleep managed to take her despite the pain; and when she woke in the early morning, she found she was no longer afraid. She felt strangely relieved. The fear of what Joey might do to her was gone. She knew what he could do to her. She had been through it. Nothing worse could happen. The strangest thing was happening: she was no longer afraid of being secretly in love with Joey Campbell. She knew she wasn't.

Joey left at dawn after giving her a nasty kiss. He slapped her butt and walked away laughing. Tanhìnrr grimaced and burrowed into the covers. They stank. The smell of blood rose whenever she moved, and the smell of semen was even worse. She was forced to use her camisole to mop up the mess; then she washed herself as best she could with one of Joey's water bottles. Her sex burned; every step made her wince. She chose to spend the day sleeping.

Several days passed in the same way. Tanhìnrr hadn't brushed her hair in weeks, even months, except with her hands. It was sticky and shiny with grease; the sections that hadn't become felt felt heavy and fell on her back like weights. She brushed her teeth, scraping the tartar off with her nails and wiping it on her pants. Gone were the impeccable manicures and the bridal veil of white hair. She looked like a wild cat. She didn't know how long she'd looked like that; she didn't have access to water and no one to help her style her hair. As for hairstyles, Spxamvawm did better than she did; he'd already been wearing Kame'tires felts when he'd arrived at the base. But she... she had a crown of felt hats on her head, a dusty, greasy, disgusting crown.

When she wasn't sleeping, she passed the time by crushing empty water bottles into balls, which she practiced throwing at the full ones. She tried walking on her hands or standing on her head; she closed her eyes and concentrated until her Na'vis senses showed her what was hidden beyond the concrete walls of Joey's room. She played with her Na'vis senses until they sharpened. She could see inside the door mechanisms and other things she didn't understand.

She filled the rest of her days dreaming of the family she expected to have when she left here. She imagined little girls and boys trotting behind her, their chubby little arms reaching high to grab her hand. Spxamvawm was in all her future plans. She pictured him at the Omatikaya Home Tree, returning from a hunting expedition, terrorizing the hunters by appearing behind them, invisible without his tanhì. She pictured giving him flowers, teaching him how to heal the sick, comforting him when he cried at the sight of them in such pain. She pictured him finding a wife to his liking among his clan and didn't dwell on the subject, even though the image of Spxamvawm giving flowers to a young huntress with black hair and yellow eyes didn't fade far. She began to imagine again: her life returning to normal, her duties as a death doula made sweeter when she could flash Spxamvawm a smile as she passed him in the tree's maze.

She woke with a start after dreaming of a child running into Spxamvawm's arms, shouting "sempu"... and thought she had put herself in an impossible situation again.

It wasn't the first time she'd loved someone. She'd had her childhood crushes, her first teenage loves, her impossible adult dreams too. Each time, she came to terms with it. She was Eywa'sänrr, she couldn't get attached. They couldn't get attached to her either. They had grown up worshipping her, and it would have been unfair to ask them for a kiss, because they would have been forced to say yes. Besides, they would have seen it only as a goddess's worship of her People. She had learned to appreciate the sweet tug of an impossible love. It was the only thing to do: the people of her tribe had grown up worshipping her and would never grow out of it. The boys she idolized came to her crying to heal their scratches; novice hunters asked for her blessing for their first hunt. Young men would kneel before her and ask her to kiss their foreheads so they would be protected from falling to their deaths while fetching their ikran; and men would bring her a grandparent who was on the verge of death. She saw the best and the worst of her clansmen, and most of her loves died an embarrassing and humiliating death, the kind that comes after your loved one has treated you like an attendant, a lucky charm, or a handkerchief.

For the little boys who came to her crying had never asked her to join in their games; the boastful hunters had never tried to show her their muscles; the warriors never raised their voices when they talked about their exploits in the hope of impressing her; and the grieving adults never asked her if their grandparent was her favorite ancestor of all the clans combined. Perhaps this isolation was why she was usually so quick to cuddle and hug people.

She spent more than a week locked in Joey's room, dreaming of life beyond its four concrete walls. She prayed every morning and every night that she wouldn't get pregnant, and then a dream came to her. She dreamed of her room in the Omatikayas' Treehouse. She was sitting on her mat, surrounded by children who were fat and clumsy, short and round, with big, rounded bellies, chubby hands and feet, kind rosy cheeks, and bright little eyes. The children laughed with the laughter of the baby who had never heard anything funnier. Some of these children were the same bright blue as Joey's Avatar's skin. Their small eyes were yellow, full of innocence and love for her; they glistened when they stopped laughing, waiting for the next joke. Tanhìnrr watched them with tears in her eyes, feeling a kind of love that drowned out any hatred she might have felt toward them, all the resentment and anger. She put her head in her hands and brought it out again, saying "Pee-Pee!" The babies giggled and fell onto the carpet, rolling like large stones, their little tummies wiggling up and down, their cheeks turning even pinker.

She began to cry so hard that she woke up: she wanted to show the Tree-House to these blue children, teach them songs, make them commune with Eywa, watch them grow… They were the children of a demon from elsewhere, but she could not deny them. She stopped praying for a miracle cure for pregnancy, but she cried for a long time. She could not put into words the emotion she felt, but she had looked into the eyes of these children of misfortune. She could not pray that they would not come into the world. She had not wanted children by Joey, but if Eywa put them in her path, she would love them.

It took her time to reconcile her hatred and anger with the moral values ​​she had always upheld. She knew that children were innocent; that she had always dreamed deep down that a child would be hers; that she didn't care about being pregnant if the result was a baby... But she didn't want her first children to be Joey's. She didn't want to be forever tainted by his memory. She didn't want to have to ask her future mate to please love someone else's children. She didn't want a child who was like Joey. She didn't want this child, but at the same time, something was screaming at her to keep it.

There was still time to seek a cure while the child was still unborn, but if she had aborted it, she knew she would never have forgiven herself. She would have hated herself more than she hated Joey and all the Sawtute in the world. She knew how to make the potion that prevented fertilization; she knew the rituals and prayers to perform; but she didn't perform them.

Despite her decision, she feared the future. Would she be able not to blame the child for being born? Perhaps she would love the baby, but would she love the adult? Would she be able to look at her child with love and pride, or would she hate its blue skin, pointed nose, and black hair?

But wouldn't she be their mother, too? There would be as much Joey in his children as there would be her. Didn't Eywa'sänrr's offspring deserve love? If they had Joey in them, wouldn't he have just as much Tanhìnrr? And besides, wouldn't she have welcomed Joey's child with open arms if he had presented it to her upon arriving at the base? Wouldn't she have chosen to adopt it and take it with her when she eventually escaped? Why shouldn't a child deserve to live or be loved because they had the genes of a monster? Children were born innocent, and so was Joey's.

This damned place had taken enough from her; it wouldn't take her love. Joey may have paraded kisses, hugs, and sex, but it wouldn't take motherhood from her. Let the child be born of rape, fine; she wouldn't let herself be consumed by hatred, and she would love the child. She knew her emotions were normal, but she hated herself for daring to reproach a child for living, even in thought.

The door opened, ending her thoughts. She thought it was time and spread her legs, but Joey was flanked by two other soldiers. He seemed in a very bad mood, but he took her in his arms and kissed her anyway, long and sloppy, his tongue in her mouth like a sickening slug. He stank—she stank too; she hadn't washed in weeks, but his was different. He was clean, but he stank. He stank after brushing his teeth, he stank even if he was healthy, his breath stank even if he had no infections, his skin stank even after scrubbing it with soap and water.

Now this place had ripped her heart out. Hadn't she been kind in the beginning? Wasn't she ready to forgive and excuse everything? She couldn't hate Campbell, or she would betray herself. She had always prided herself on her kindness. Now it was falling apart...

Tanhìnrr began to cry. She barely noticed the soldiers leading her out of the miserable room. She wondered if she was going to die and refused to worry. She noticed, in fact, that they were directing her to the showers... where Spxamvawm was just entering.

Spxamvawm! The warmth she had missed so much returned to her breast. She ran to him, screaming his name. He barely had time to turn around before she was holding him close to her heart, burying her nose in his chest, kissing his cheek and head several times. He had crushed her against him and rested his cheek on her head, murmuring something she was too moved to listen to; but when she kissed his skin, he recoiled and seemed very embarrassed. Her eyes shone, and her lips had curled into a smile. He was unable to stay out of her embrace for too long and held her close again.

"Eywa be praised, ma'eylan, you came back to me," he murmured, then he became concerned: "Are you all right, ma'eylan? There's a smell of blood. Unless... ah. Women... bleed... It's normal. Yes."

His lovely apology made her vibrate with joy for the first time in ages. Hearing someone care about her was strange, which, in itself, was very strange too. Her body was waking from a long sleep: her heart was beating warm blood through her veins, her skin was alert, she could notice smells and colors again, as if she had lived in a scentless darkness until then. She wanted to nuzzle Spxamvawm's neck and breathe in his scent forever, she wanted to feast her eyes on his midnight blue skin and his dark gray markings. It was when she thought she wanted to kiss his skin that she realized something had changed. She had never thought of such a thing before. She disgusted herself and wanted to leave again, to escape her thoughts so aggressively sexual that she felt sick; But the soldiers pushed her toward the shower. Spxamvawm welcomed her into his arms and hissed at them, then began to gently carry her toward those same showers. He didn't remember his rule about physical contact until they arrived under the metal showerhead. Quickly, he removed his hand.

“Sorry, sorry, ma'sänrr. I was happy to see you again. I… yes. Good.”

Tears welled up in Tanhìnrr's eyes. Something was wrong. She felt hatred toward her friend—her only friend, moreover, her protector, confidant, and ally in this cursed place. She was happy to see him again, but anger lurked beneath her relief like a palulukan ready to strike.

"Don't worry," she managed to say.

Yes, she remembered now: you had to fight your anger. You also shouldn't confess your misfortunes to your friend as soon as you were reunited. You had to wait.

"You look exactly the same," she breathed, pressing her forehead against Spxamvawm's, unable to stop herself.

"Maybe slightly stinker," he corrected, making her giggle.

She hadn't laughed in days... weeks?

"The Sawtute say you're coming back to the cell with me. They don't want your Joey to keep you anymore. I think they want to start their experiments again."

"Maybe they want to make sure I'm washed," Tanhìnrr muttered, scowling.

"Maybe. I hope you're right," Spxamvawm replied, reaching out to turn on the shower.

He shielded her from the initial blast of icy water with his arm, then lowered it as the water warmed.

"I... should... go somewhere else..." he muttered suddenly, remembering that people didn't wash together.

"I think I've forgotten the meaning of modesty," she admitted in a desperate effort to make him stay.

How did we talk to people again?

"I wish you would stay," she finally said.

"Hurry up in there!" yelled a guard.

Spxamvawm's tail snapped against his leg in annoyance.

"Okay," he decided. "Go ahead, I won't look."

He sat down against the cold metal wall and closed his eyes. She heard him humming the Sarentu tune she had taught him.

“I noticed your hair had gotten tangled, Ma'eylan. If you want… it's nothing to be ashamed of. The Kame'tires create felts on purpose, and I know how to make them, but also how to remove them. I could help you. When you're done washing, of course,” he added.

“With… a brush?”

She hadn't felt any curiosity since the day she'd used her Na'vi senses to look in the door.

"No, a needle or a stick. I'll show you how. It's fun, actually."

Tanhìnrr took off his clothes and saw the blood dripping onto the floor. He swirled in the hot water and slid down the tiles to the fence. She wondered where this dirty water went. Perhaps the shower water went into the polluted river where she had found that poor yerik. It seemed to her that these adventures had happened to someone else.

She lay motionless under the hot water for several minutes, too discouraged to move. She wanted to cry, but at the same time, she wanted to destroy something by screaming. She had never felt so angry before. She was frightened. She no longer recognized herself at all. She had become a stranger.

"Ma'sänrr… the smell of blood is very strong," Spxamvawm murmured, his brows furrowing in concern above his closed eyes.

"Sorry. I'll wash up soon," she said, which was an attempt to reassure him, but she had forgotten how to comfort people and frankly doubted she would ever return to being the Tanhìnrr she was before, the Eywa'sänrr everyone loved.

She remained silent for a few moments, forgetting to wash. She wanted to confess everything to her friend, but the resulting anxiety made her feel nauseous.

"I should brush my teeth too," she blurted out through her tears.

She didn't want him to hear her and swallowed her sobs. After a few seconds of silence, she lifted one of her feet and rubbed it limply. She had no energy to wash herself.

"Eywa'sänrr… could you let me wash you?" the warrior whispered, without her having seen him approach her.

She was so grateful that she started crying again.

"Well, I shouldn't... ask people that... you seemed like... I mean... you don't like being touched... I'm going to leave..." he muttered in one breath.

Tanhìnrr had never been amused and sad at the same time before that day. She took her friend's hand.

"No, I'd like you to stay. I need a little help, ma'sänrr," she admitted, looking down.

"You stole my nickname," whispered Spxamvawm, who was suddenly nearby.

“It’s because you, too, are my light,” she replied in a whisper.

An idea crossed their minds, but Joey had ruined the word "kiss" for everyone, and the gesture too. He'd ruined far too many things. He even managed to ruin the moment without being in the room.

"Hurry up, monkeys!" the guard yelled.

"Macaque?" Spxamvawm repeated, not understanding.

His wry expression drew a smile from the woman of light, who was beginning to feel a little more like herself. She sat down; Spxamvawm knelt beside her and washed her feet. She wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or felt bad about having a foot he was forced to touch. She didn't know if he had ever washed another person before, but he was doing it well; he wasn't directly in front of her but off to the side to avoid embarrassing glances.

"Do you want me to wash your hair?" she offered, cleverly using his urge to stroke her head.

"If you wish," Spxamvawm replied calmly.

She almost burst into tears: his voice was so soft… She never thought she'd cry over something like this. She had to hide her eyes for a second.

He finished washing her feet; then, with the same gentleness, he washed her shoulders and back. She flinched when he touched the small of her back; he noticed and stopped immediately.

"Don't worry, Ma'eylan, I wasn't going to sink any lower," he reassured her.

"I know. My mind knows, but my heart is scared," she explained.

She closed her eyes and let him massage her oily scalp, imagining the brown water trickling down her back. Without warning, she became frightened. Two naked adults in a shower... Tears reappeared under her eyelids. She felt as if she had done nothing but cry that day. Spxamvawm didn't notice, because his eyes were still closed. He gently rubbed her face and accidentally wiped away her tears. His friend's attentions soothed her, enveloping her in warm comfort, but the turn the situation could have taken terrified her. She chose to trust the warrior; she was right, in the end, because as soon as he had finished washing her, he stood behind her... to wash himself without her seeing him naked. This gesture had the merit of making her realize that she was afraid of a man going behind her. She felt like she was inventing fears that no one had ever had before.

This quick shower seemed to last several hours. Tanhìnrr was exhausted, but she was determined to keep her word. She washed Spxamvawm's felt braids as best she could, and he seemed almost to fall asleep; then she got dressed again while he rinsed himself off. The discomfort of her wound sticking to Joey's cloth panties was almost erased by the young woman's fatigue; as soon as she reached the cell, she threw herself onto the blanket and snuggled up almost comfortably. She no longer smelled of Joey but carried Spxamvawm's scent; reassured, happy, she buried her nose in it and fell asleep immediately.

When she woke up, she sat and stared at the wall for a long time. She ate her ration without even realizing it, then let Spxamvawm take care of her hair. He offered her clean clothes, which she put on without reacting.

“Thank you,” she remembered at the last second.

He still seemed worried about the blood on his clothes.

"I... I'm pregnant. Because of Joey. My blood moon didn't come. I had a dream. I think I'm pregnant."

Tears came to his eyes.

"I don't want to abort them. I want to keep them. I just hope I'll love them when I meet them."

His friend remained silent for several minutes. He couldn't move.

Time passed…

Then he slowly, clumsily reached out with his large hand until it touched her stomach. Tanhìnrr's eyes filled with tears. Again, he said nothing, because he didn't know the right words for the situation; but he kept his hand on her stomach for a long time and looked into her eyes. He was lightly caressing her skin without realizing it. She rested her head on his shoulder and inhaled deeply to smell his reassuring and familiar scent and to be better lulled into the comfort of the moment.

"I feel like I'm not the same person anymore," she admitted under her breath, then felt guilty and changed her mind. "I shouldn't complain. You too... We're both prisoners."

She closed her eyes briefly.

"You don't have to carry my pain for me. I hope you weren't mistreated."

"We're still mistreated," he corrected. "I was treated... properly. Pretty much..."

"Did they hurt you?" she worried, looking up, her exhaustion forgotten.

Spxamvawm took a moment to respond.

"They took me to their room that smells of alcohol. I woke up dissected. They removed my eyes, then glued them back on. They still work, thank Eywa."

"It's..." she tried. "Why?"

"Out of curiosity. I don't know."

"Are you in pain?"

He shook his head. To comfort him, Tanhìnrr took his hand and laced their fingers together.

"I don't understand why they only do this to me," he admitted, his voice choked. "But I don't want them to do it to you, too."

When he continued, the sobs in his voice were unmistakable:

"I woke up without my eyes. I thought they'd never give them back... Then they cut holes in the inside of my head, right where my eyes used to be, and glued them back on. They gave me paywll. I don't understand..."

"Did it hurt?" she asked anxiously.

"No. I didn't feel anything. I don't understand why they bother taking away my pain if they're doing things like this to me anyway. I don't know if they'll continue. I'm afraid they'll rip my brain out and glue it back on."

The woman of light put her hand over her mouth and tried in vain to say something reassuring. He continued:

“It's like when they removed my fingers and toes. It didn't hurt. They put me to sleep, and then when I woke up, my body was numb where they'd run the knife, and I couldn't feel a thing. I don't know if their surgeries leave scars. I don't dare look. I thought I was brave, but I was never trained to endure anything like this.”

Silence returned in force. There was nothing to say.

She placed her hand on the warrior's arm and looked into his eyes.

"Mawey, ma'sänrr. We'll get through this. We'll find a way," she whispered.

He had the idea to tell her that she was so beautiful that he forgot his problems. Instead of opening his mouth at these reckless words, he put his hand on hers and looked into her eyes. A burning tenderness burned in her dark eyes; he had to lower his gaze and clench his jaw to keep from doing something even more reckless.

"I'm scared," Tanhìnrr admitted.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked softly.

“Of not loving the child I'm carrying enough to want to keep it. I… I don't want a baby that looks like Joey. I could give it up for adoption, but… I never thought I wouldn't want a child. Especially if I was lucky enough to have it mine. I want to keep this child, but I didn't think it would hurt this much… I didn't think it would be a hard decision. I don't want to give it away, or abort it right now. I wish… I wish everything would be easier. When I realized I was pregnant with Joey, I thought, 'Oh, no…' I hoped I'd find a cure or ask the Sawtute for one, and then I saw them in my dreams. I can't abort them anymore, not after seeing their faces. But… maybe they deserve better than a mother who failed… than a mother who didn't want them.” I don't want them to hate me when they grow up and find out I thought those horrible things."

Spxamvawm squeezed her hand and offered her a compassionate, sad look. Tanhìnrr began to cry. She had never felt so bad. She felt as if there was no hope left, not even the tiniest fragment.

"Sometimes when I've had enough, I... I imagine killing Joey," she confessed through tears.

"I understand. I imagine it too. I think it's normal," Spxamvawm murmured, stroking her hand with his thumb.

"I want to get out of here," she concluded in a dead voice.

He placed his hand on her face. His calloused palm was large enough to cup her cheek; it had the texture of warm leather.

"Me too," he breathed.

He felt bad and took his hand away, but she took it back and put her cheek back in it.

“He hurts me so much that I don't care how he would leave me alone, even if he died... I imagine beating him, hanging him, stabbing him, poisoning him...” she continued. “I want him gone. I don't want him to hurt me anymore. But I'm scared. I don't want to kill him. Never. I just want him to go away... and never come back. I wish he would disappear.”

"We'll find a way to escape," Spxamvawm promised feverishly.

"Maybe we should just... run. Run to the exit without looking back."

She paused for a long, terrible moment.

“We make weapons… and take a hostage.”

"Ma'eylan," Spxamvawm breathed, gripping her hand tighter.

He looked worried.

"Eywa would forgive you, but... I don't know if it's..."

"Me neither," she interrupted, looking down.

"If this is our plan, let me take the hostage," he pleaded. "I could easily capture the broomstick man. He's small and doesn't have any weapons with him."

“I wish I could reassure him that we won't hurt him, but… he might relay the information to others. They might try to hurt us,” the woman of light snapped. “I'm ashamed of our plan, ma'sänrr. I know desperate people do desperate things, but… I wish I could get out of here without hurting anyone.”

Tanhìnrr's heart rose into her throat and throbbed painfully. She could hear Joey's voice in the corridor. Her organs filled with acid. Her head swelled with a thick mist, threatening to explode.

Both had the same idea. The air tensed, bulging like a rubber band about to burst. Joey opened the door. For a moment, Tanhìnrr was afraid. What if Spxamvawm got beaten? What if they punished him? What if they punished them both? But she had clearly underestimated the Na'vi warrior and all his muscle. He could see Joey's aura through the door, surrounded by the red of enemies; he was in a straitjacket and had no weapons. He never used his Na'vi senses to see through walls and looked perfectly relaxed. Spxamvawm stood by the door and took a deep breath. Tanhìnrr peered through the concrete and saw that Joey was using a card attached to his straitjacket to enter the cell, passing a magic eye that identified him and let him through.

As soon as he scanned his card, Spxamvawm grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him straight at the wall. There was a crack and a piercing scream. Joey's shoulder hung in a hideous, unnatural way. The warrior grabbed his arm and sent him flying against the other wall, the glass one. The glass warped but held firm. Joey tried to warn someone, but Spxamvawm grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face into the concrete floor.

Mesmerized by the action, frozen by the violence, Tanhìnrr stood with her hands bound, watching the scene, hereyes wide open. Spxamvawm's braided hair flew around him like the vengeful wings of a black ikran; she had never been more aware of the dark gray stripes of his skin, the width of his shoulders, the muscles of his long arms. His eyes had never been so black, his skin had never been so blue. He was beautiful, so beautiful… He was the pinnacle of the Na'vi warrior. She had never been so proud to be Na'vi as in that moment, watching the vengeful spirit of the forest destroy the demon from the sky. She wanted to scream a battle cry like the hunters after bringing down a difficult prey.

She ran to her friend and gently took his arm. Spxamvawm grimaced and stopped his rampage. Joey lay on the ground, his face engulfed by the blood spurting from his broken nose. Tanhìnrr was ashamed of herself for wanting to laugh at him. She pushed back her barbaric instincts and knelt before him.

"Don't worry, Ma'Joey. Your friends will find you soon. They'll give you some medicine, and you won't be in pain anymore."

He reached out his hand towards her. She kissed the back of his hand.

"I forgive you, but I hope I don't see you again until I'm very old. Goodbye, Joey Campbell."

She grabbed her radio and tag, then stood up. She didn't have time to wonder if someone could be rendered unconscious without causing long-term damage, because he was already unconscious.

"It's better for him," she murmured to herself. "He won't be hurt. Come on, now. Let's go out."

But when she turned, she saw that Spxamvawm had put his arm in front of her. A brunette woman with a frizzy bun was waiting at the entrance, flanked by AMPs. She groaned and rolled her eyes before raising her fist. The AMPs began to whine, but lowered their weapons.

"It's so bad here!" complained a woman with a pyramidal nose.

"Why can't we ever kill anything?" adds a man with fish eyes.

"I hope we get at least one interesting watch tonight..." added a man with a boring face.

"Okay. Change of plan. This is the last time I trust my troops with anything," the leader fumed, waving them off.

The AMPs whined, but left like obedient little dogs.

"Let me explain the situation," Dr. Marshall began, but Spxamvawm grabbed her like a straw doll and growled.

"It's pretty clear to me," he replied. "We're saving ourselves. That's the situation."

"What's going on?" asked Tanhìnrr, putting his hand back on her arm.

Spxamvawm growled again, but set her down without releasing his grip.

"She wants to explain something to us," he muttered. "Explain to me why you gouged out my eyes, my fingers, and my toes. Explain to me why I live in a stone cave without seeing the faces of my brothers. Explain to me why you wear the skin of my People. Explain to me why Eywa'sänrr bleeds between her legs and why she tells me she's pregnant by your lieutenant from hell, that kalweyaveng--"

“We don't want to hurt you. I'd like to heal Joey, but if he heals too quickly, he'll recapture us and hurt us more,” Tanhìnrr lamented. “We wanted to get out of here peacefully, but we're terribly scared. Eylanay, I'm terribly sorry. Don't be afraid of Spxamvawm. Please tell your friends to let us go. I promise we won't send anyone to kill you.”

Spxamvawm translated her words harshly without taking his eyes off the doctor's.

"Counteroffer: You stay here, but we treat you better. You have to understand. I'm doing this for my daughter," Fanny Marshall declared, deciding to lay all her cards on the table.

"She wants us to stay, and promises to treat us better. She says she's doing this for her daughter," Spxamvawm repeated. "I've had enough of her chatter. Let's get out of here."

“Let’s take… Could you ask his name?”

"Your name," Spxamvawm ordered icily.

“Dr. Fanny Marshall. And you are?”

"Let's take Dr. Fanny Marshall with us. I want to listen to her chatter," Tanhìnrr explained, taking Marshall by the other arm.

"You have too much patience," Spxamvawm growled, making her giggle. "She wants to listen to your bullshit. Try anything and I'll break your neck."

"You really are savages," Marshall shuddered.

"YOU GOUGED OUT MY EYES!" Spxamvawm yelled, grabbing her collar with both hands.

"My daughter is slowly dying in a plastic cube with a respirator and wires coming out of every pore of her skin! I'd rip out a hundred thousand eyes and a hundred thousand toes to see her walk one day! You goddamn bullshit-ass fucking Na'vi!" spat the doctor.

"Goddamn bullshit-ass fucking Na'vi.." Spxamvawm repeated, too surprised to argue.

"We're making her an Avatar! An Avatar with a Na'vi physionomy! Because Na'vi are never disabled! Never fat! They're never missing an eye or an arm, they never get cancer, never albinism, never glasses or crutches or whatever… Na'vi never have disabilities, and if I figure out why, I can save my daughter! You two are the only Na'vi I know on this whole blue shitty planet who look even slightly different from everyone else! The only disabilities I've seen in all my years on Pandora are battle wounds! Your damn skin and your damn face could heal the dying of Earth! We can cure cancer or paralysis just by giving someone an Avatar! And that someone is my little girl! She's not eight months old and she could die, and you have the nerve to complain! Boo-hoo, they gouged out my eyes, boo-hoo, the surgery didn't even hurt and they put them back on, your stupid eyes! But who cares about you in the end! There's a child dying in a box in my office, and all you think about is yourselves!

Spxamvawm rubbed his face.

"And I'm going to have to translate all this..." he mumbled. "Her daughter is dying. She's a baby. The Na'vi are less sick than the Sawtute. She wants to create an Avatar for her daughter to cure her."

Tanhìnrr froze in place. Her joy at getting out of here had been sapped. After thinking for a long time, she got to her knees.

“Eylanay… I understand. Not entirely. I don't understand how you feel, but I understand what you're telling me. I want to help your daughter. I want to heal her. I hope your plan works. But… although it doesn't matter anymore… I would have agreed to help you if you had asked for my help. I am Eywa'sänrr. I guide the dead to Eywa. I heal wounds. I pray for the sick. Eylanay, the Na'vi would have helped you if you had asked them, but you chose the path of war and suffering. I am ready to come back and help you, Dr. Fanny Marshall, but I don't want to live here anymore, and I don't want to see Joey again.”

Spxamvawm translated his words without adding any comment.

"We were going to let you go in the end," she growled.

“Have you finished your research?” Tanhìnrr asked softly.

Spxamvawm translated, dying of impatience.

"Almost. We need to test the Avatar and find a way to transfer the little girl into it permanently."

“My people know how to do this. Let us go. We will return when your research is complete. I mean… I will return.”

"We will return, ma'eylan," Spxamvawm confirmed, taking her hand. "My friend proposes a deal. You let us go right now, and we'll return when it's time to transfer your daughter's spirit into her new body. The Omatikaya know how to do this."

"That's fine, but I want proof that you'll come back if I let you go," the doctor ordered proudly.

"I'll go with them," his brother decided, appearing out of nowhere.

"You're such an idiot," his sister said.

"Wow," he replied. "Seriously, I'll go with them. It's the only way to help everyone without betraying anyone."

"Oeyä tsmukan," Spxamvawm snapped. "You'll explain later. All I want is to get out of here."

"Are they going to let us go?" asked Tanhìnrr.

"I'm giving my brother a GPS. He'll know where to find your camp. If you kill him, I'll burn your damn forest until it looks like ash pudding, understand?" the doctor spat.

"Your brother glued my eyes back on and treated me like a person with a soul. I won't let anything happen to him. But if you ever think of destroying our camp, we won't be able to help you, since we'll be dead," Spxamvawm said contemptuously.

"Yes, yes, it's beautiful. Now get the hell out of here and let me explain all this to my superiors."

The two Na'vi and their human guest were about to leave when she stopped them.

“Hey, wait. You, the girl…”

She sighed.

"You want birth control? So you don't get pregnant? I know Joey Campbell. I hate thinking of you as people, because it kind of messes up my mission and all that, but... he had a crush on me before he met you. So... I kind of understand how you might feel. Like you said: I don't understand the emotion, but I understand the words. (Pause) So, do you want the pill or not?"

"She says she knows Campbell and asks if you want anything to keep you from getting pregnant. I don't understand the Sawtute," Spxamvawm muttered.

"No, I… Thank you, ma'eylan. I'll keep the child. Good luck with yours."

Without stopping, they staggered more than walked toward the exit. Sunlight blinded them for a moment, then came a rush of air and a wild croak. Uk had spent more than a month circling this ominous stone cube, searching for its rider. He shoved his large black snout against Spxamvawm's chest, knocking him backward but strengthening him at the same time. The warrior wrapped his arms around the ikran's mouth and kissed its scaly, wet forehead. He buried his face in it and nearly started to cry, but more than anything, he wanted to get out of here; He made the tsaheylu with Uk, took Tanhìnrr's hand to help her sit down, sat the Tawtute on his lap like a child, and together they flew away in the dawn glow and disappeared into the rosy sky.

Chapter Text

Teylan waits, but the rest doesn't come. He turns to you, his eyes wide. His expression makes you laugh.

"But... but... but... but..." he protests. "But..."

You continue laughing and pull his cap down over his eyes. He squeals and replaces it. You laugh again and plant a kiss on his cheek. He blushes a little.

"But what happens next?" he finally said.

"Well, it's over," you pretend to annoy him.

" But no! "

"But yes."

"Nooooo!"

You start laughing again.

“Seriously, I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow.”

"Tomorrow?" he whines. "I'm telling So'lek, then."

You burst out laughing even harder. It takes you back to your childhood. How many times have you heard a little boy in a cap repeating "I'm telling Principal Mercer" and "I'm telling Alma"? You hand him your radio.

"Here, go and see," you insist.

He looks at your radio as if he's suddenly forgotten how to use it.

"No," he mutters. "He scares me."

"You're so adorable, Ma'Teylan," you protest through your laughter.

You both managed to make each other blush.

"Well, I'll call him," you decide.

"No, he'll get mad," Teylan squeaks, putting her hands on your radio to stop you.

You fight with it for a few seconds.

"I'm not afraid of So'lek," you boast.

"Everyone is afraid of So'lek," Teylan insists.

"You're so cute."

Teylan squeaks and looks down.

“So'lek, do you know the story of Eywa'sänrr?”

You can almost see your friend/mentor's eternally serious eyes through the crackle of the radio.

"We all know this story. I should have taught it to you, too."

So'lek and his relentless habit of wanting to teach you everything...

"It's okay, I know it too. I was just telling Teylan about it."

"I haven't heard it in a long time. If you have time, I'd like to join you in listening to the rest."

"She wants us to wait until tomorrow!" Teylan complains.

"Tomorrow, then. Come get me if you want me to join you," So'lek replies calmly, and turns off his radio.

Teylan scowls. He's really too cute.

"I bet he'll tell you you made a lot of mistakes in your story," he mutters.

"I am Sarentu, and Sarentu make no mistakes in their stories," you decide.

"So you weren't wrong either when you said the Sarentu totem was settling a dispute between two stone mountains?" he teases you, his eyes shining and his tail slicing through the air.

“No. The traditions and stories were etched into my skin the day I received my mark,” you claim.

« Hmm. »

You stare at each other for a few seconds, then Teylan leans his head against your shoulder, and in return, you put your arm around him.

"I can't believe this is a true story that even So'lek knows."

"You really have a lot of trust in me."

Teylan laughs at you and looks over the Aeolian Wind Flutes that still sing through the golden throats.

“Say, do you know any stories about zakrus?”

"Let's see..."