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Chapter Text

Sephiroth

"This was such a bad idea...”, muttered Zack behind me as we walked quickly through the trees. The sound of our fast steps echoed in the forest, boots stepping on mud, branches and stone.

He followed in my footsteps so as not to hit the trees. It was dark, too dark, and there were no stars or moon visibly in the sky.

"Honestly, I don't know what you're thinking.”, he continued, following me closely. "It's the middle of the night. We could have waited until morning.”

"Right now, I'm thinking that I shouldn't have asked you to come with me.”, I said. "And we have a mission in the morning, if you remember.”

"It wasn't like you could ask someone else.”, he muttered. “Where did Sephiroth-sama go? At least like this you can say we were doing night training or something.”

“Night training.”, I repeated, and it still sounded silly, even said by myself.

Zack disapproves, but he did follow me without hesitation when I told him what I was going to do.

“I'm just saying, if even I think this is a bad idea, shouldn't you be worried?”

I suddenly stopped walking and turned back. Zack almost crashed into me but took a step back immediately to avoid that.

"Very.”, I muttered, with a small smile.

I turned around again and kept walking.

"However, I prefer to trust my own judgment.”

“Is this how Angeal feels when I'm stubborn?”, Zack sighed, and kept following me.

"Probably.”

I pushed aside the high branches of a tree to pass, and finally the city became visible, through more branches and leaves.

Nibelheim...

“You were right. I thought we were still farther away.”, murmured Zack.

“10 km east, it had to be here.”

I looked at the dark town that rose up a few meters away. There were no lights on, no people in the street. It wasn't Midgar, there was no constant light and noise.

“So, what's the plan?”, asked Zack when I stopped walking. "Does he know you're coming?”

“No.”, I replied, in a dry tone compared to his.

“Damn, then how are we going to do this?”

“We won´t.”, I said and looked over my shoulder at Zack. "I just needed you to come in case anyone asks questions. You can stay here if you prefer.”

“No way! I'm not just going to sit here and wait for you.”, he protested. “I´ve already come, I'm not going back.”

“Do whatever you want. But there's no plan. We get in and out without anyone seeing us.”

“Yoshe! That sounds like a plan to me.”, said Zack, excited again. "Stealth mission, here we go!”

I gave him a sharp look.

"Silently.”

“Hm, exactly! Silently.”

I had no choice but to trust Zack's conviction and head into the village with him by my side.

We walked slowly through the deserted streets, the house was in the center of the village, beyond the gate and the stone stairs. Zack remained silent as we kept to the darkness, walking closer to the buildings where the shadows were stronger and could conceal us if anyone appeared.

That situation reminded me of something he had once told me. That it was impossible for me to mix in a crowd with other people.

If that hadn't meant anything to me then, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth now. Everything would be different if I could go unnoticed, without having to sneak around in the middle of the night.

The house finally became visible, beyond the water tank. All the lights were off, no windows illuminated.

I glanced at Zack, his footsteps sounding behind mine. His eyes were on the house too, and every now and then he looked in other directions, making sure we were alone.

We didn't speak again until we were at the door of the house.

“So... what now?”, Zack asked.

“Stay here.”, I said.

“What about you?”

“I'm going in.”

Zack looked at me confused.

“You're going in?”

“Yes.”

“Uninvited?”

“Yes.”

“You're going to break into their house in the middle of the night? You know Claudia-san doesn't like you enough already, right?”

“Did she tell you herself?”, I asked and frowned in his direction.

"No, she... you know...”, Zack scratched the back of his head, clearly not wanting me to know, and I decided not to continue that conversation either.

“Have you never had to do this for Angeal?”

“Ehh?!”

Before he could recover from the shock and stop me, I grabbed the handle and opened the door. As I expected, it wasn't locked.

“Oi oi, are you really going? And what do you mean by that?”, Zack continued.

"I'm going in.”, I announced unceremoniously.

He sighed.

"Right, you go in and I'll keep watch.”, said Zack, and his ability to support me no matter how much he disapproved of it impressed me, even if I knew he wasn't just doing it for me.

“Agreed.”

I was about to go in, but the hand on my shoulder stopped me.

“Don't be long, okay? And give my regards to Cloud.”

“Hm. I will.”

I pushed open the door and went inside.

The hall was dark, the house silent. I pushed the door behind me and it closed with a small click.

I observed the room around me, the shadows covering everything, the silhouettes of objects frozen in darkness. I moved forward slowly and the wood crackled under my feet, drawing my gaze. I waited for the sound of movement from something that never came, no one had heard.

The silence remained, all I could hear was the soft sound of my own breathing.

The stairs leading upstairs rose to my left. I moved slowly towards them and began to climb the steps, one by one, without making a sound, the wood didn't crack.

The truth is that the last thing I needed was to run into his mother, at that hour and without any previous invitation. But that didn't stop me from coming, not when I was so close.

I climbed the stairs that ended in a new corridor with two doors.

Almost involuntarily, I headed for the door on the right. A house that meant nothing to me, not that any other had, had become familiar. So many times, the same stairs, the same door. Rarely at night and never so late. But he was... so close...

I pushed the door slowly, but it still squeaked as it opened, a low, high-pitched sound.

I took a step into the room. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the flash of movement close to me, the object coming in my direction.

It was almost in slow motion, I turned towards him and grabbed his wrists, firmly enough to stop him but not to hurt him.

His blue eyes opened wide in shock, then shifted to one of his hands I was holding, then to the other, until they rose to compensate for our height difference and met mine.

His lips parted in a circle.

“Se... phiroth...”

“Cloud.”, I whispered back. "I'm sorry if I startled you.”

He raised his eyes to the lamp he was holding in his hand, above his head, in a motion that I had interrupted. His eyes returned to their normal size, as if he now realized that he was going to attack me and not a complete stranger who had invaded his house.

That's almost what I am, but the way Cloud looked at me, the regret of someone who thinks they've made a mistake, made me think otherwise.

"No... I just...”, he muttered. "I didn't know it was you.”

He looked at me again, perhaps to confirm that I was real.

"I didn't know... you were coming.”

I slowly lowered his wrist and finally let it go, before taking a step back.

“And I wasn't planning on coming. I was nearby and...

Cloud was looking at me, shyly. I wasn't sure what I should say.

“… I thought you'd be happy if I... came.”, I added, it wasn't what I wanted to say, but it was so much harder to explain how I felt.

He smiled, with a tired expression.

“Hum. I'm glad you came...”, he murmured, and it was only at that moment that I noticed he was whispering, his voice fading, much lower than mine.

“No. I'm sorry...”, I muttered and clenched one of my fists. "You should be asleep. I didn't think of that.”

"No... I'm... very glad you... came here on purpose...”, he whispered, his smile opening wider.

It was almost involuntary, my hand moved on its own. I reached out towards Cloud's face and lightly touched his cheek.

His lips parted again, for a second, until he closed his eyes and surrendered to my gesture.

Cloud's skin was warm, his face was soft, especially with that light expression. I took the opportunity to study it. His blond hair was disheveled, clearly he had been asleep until then. I could see the dark circles under his eyes, even with them closed, deep and dark. He was wearing simple clothes, a white, loose, long shirt over blue pants.

His eyes slowly opened again and rose up to mine.

I don't know what kind of expression I was making, but Cloud looked away and... blushed? His cheeks took on a pale pink hue and he pulled back gently.

“Do you want to sit down?”, and he looked at the unmade bed. “I'm sorry, I wasn't really expecting you.”

“No, it's fine. We can sit down.”

I waited for Cloud to go first. He put the lamp down on the bedside table and didn't turn it on. The weak moonlight coming in through the window was enough, and I didn't think he'd want such a bright light after having just woken up.

Cloud sat up in bed and only then did I move forward and sit down next to him. The mattress sank under my weight.

I looked around the room. There were some clothes strewn across the surfaces. I noticed the soft toy lying right next to my feet.

I leaned over and picked it up. It was a baby chocobo, the fabric a bright yellow.

“How's Hope?”, I murmured and put the toy down on the bed beside me, before looking at Cloud, who looked up at me.

"Fine.”, he replied and yawned. “Kaa-san stayed with him in her room tonight, so I could sleep.”

“Souka?”, I murmured, noticing that the place where the crib should be was empty. "He won't let you sleep?”

“Kaa-san says it's normal. In the first few months.”, he murmured. “And he has to eat a lot of times, so it's hard to sleep.”

I parted my lips. I wanted to apologize, but it seemed pointless.

“I'm glad your mother can help you. And she's right, you should sleep.”

Cloud gave me a small smile.

“Mm.”

“I have to thank Claudia-san. When I can.”

“You don't have to do that.”, he said. “It's her grandson, of course Kaa-san would help me.”

He stopped looking at me and slid his hand over his face.

“I may not... look the best, but we're fine! We're fine! Hope and I... you don't have to worry...”

“I know.”, I interrupted and our gazes met. “I know you're doing your best, Cloud. But he's my son, it's normal for me to worry.”

I gave him a small smile.

“And I think you look fine too. Exactly the same as when we first met.”

“You wouldn't say that if you saw me without any clothes on.”, I frowned at his self-depreciative comment. When he realized what he'd said, Cloud looked away.

“What I mean is... we're fine. You don't have to worry. You're a hero. You've got lots of other things to think about.”

“That doesn't change the fact that you're my responsibility, Cloud.”, I said and crossed my arms over my chest. “It has nothing to do with my job. I care about you.”

A small smile appeared on his face. I studied it. Tiredness and a baby made Cloud look a little older than I knew he was. But smiling like that, he looked even younger than his age.

I smiled too.

“I'm glad... that you came...”, he whispered in an even lower tone. “I'm sorry you can't see him. I don't know if Kaa-san would be happy... and Hope is sleeping in her room.”

Cloud must have been really tired. He rarely mentioned his mother's feelings about me.

“Mm. I understand. It's quite late.”, I uncrossed my arms. “You should sleep now.”

Cloud stared at me with his lips parted. He clearly wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. How I could understand that...

“I'll be back in Nibelheim soon, you don't have to worry.”, I said. “It won't be long until we see each other again.”

Cloud smiled again.

“Mm.”

I stood up and Cloud stood up too. I turned to face him, whose eyes were on the floor, his face low.

“Cloud.”, I called out, and he raised his face. I leaned over him to compensate for our height difference. I held his small face between my hands and stared at him.

Blue eyes stared back at me and I heard Cloud's heart beating faster.

Should I touch him like this? This way? Is it easier for him to understand what I'm feeling? I don't think touch is one of my strong points yet.

Cloud's hands came almost immediately to my chest. It made me think that he wanted to touch me as much as I craved to touch him, he just didn't know how to start.

One of his fingers brushed against my skin, between the leather of my jacket.

“Thank you for taking care of our son.”, I whispered. His face was close to mine, Cloud had gotten so much close when he held onto my chest. He was breathing faster, his parted lips almost brushing against mine.

I thought about kissing him. Cloud was close and blushing, that's probably what I should do. However, I pushed those thoughts out of my head.

Cloud made me feel things I didn't understand. Things I couldn't control. Something stronger than my self-control and all my training, deeper than the blood coursing through my veins.

But at the same time, I couldn't push him away, or those feelings.

Cloud closed his eyes. The hands on my chest tightened around the fabric, I felt the almost imperceptible sensation of one of his fingernails brushing against my bare skin.

I let go of his face after hesitating for a few seconds, wondering if I should push him away. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me.

In my arms, Cloud seemed even smaller and more fragile. He let me hold him, his head resting on my chest, his blond hair brushing against my chin.

So small, he doesn't look like he gave birth so recently...

I felt his warmth against me. And the faint smell of milk and a soft something else.

Cloud lifted his face and stared at me. His eyes seemed to glow in the dark, blue, and set on mine.

“Sephiroth...”, he murmured slowly, in a thread of a voice.

He didn't kiss me, even though part of me wanted him to. Instead, he pulled back and I let him out of my arms.

“I...Itterashai.”, he murmured, shyly.

I smiled at him and touched Cloud's cheek one last time, to make him look at me, to see his eyes before I left.

“Ittekimasu, Cloud.”

I turned away from him and left the room. I heard his footsteps but didn't look back. I went down the stairs and stopped in the hall. It was the last thing I needed to do before leaving.

I took out the small black bag and put it on a of furniture, probably to be found the next morning.

A parting gift, I suppose?...

...

...

...

The first time I took him was dirty. From the back, between two walls of some ditch, where no one could hear or see us.

It was my first time in Nibelheim, I had been sent to confirm the state of the Makoro after several years without anyone going there.

Angeal asked Zack to accompany me to gain experience. He also asked me to keep an eye on him, which was the same as Angeal asking me to take care of his protégé.

The mission was going to last a few days, the scientists who had come with us needed time for maintenance and to do other things whose details were not shared with us. Our job was to accompany them and defend them from monsters and other creatures that might appear.

It was supposed to be a normal mission, just like so many others.

“And this is Cloud.”, announced the girl, Tifa, pointing to the boy next to her. “And we'll be your guides.”

“I-it´s a pleasure.”, murmured the boy, his face low, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“Eh? You? But they're just kids!”, protested Zack, the girl smiled.

“You won't find anyone here who knows Nibel Yama better than me. And you won't have to worry about us either.”

“I don't know...”, Zack said. “This doesn't sound right.”

I didn't hear her answer. I focused on the blond boy next to her. Maybe it was because of the confidence with which Tifa spoke, but he looked younger and was definitely shyer. I wondered if he hadn't been dragged along by his friend just for the sake of it and that maybe he'd rather be somewhere else.

Hmph, it would be a nice change, I could still hear the voices shouting my name from the night before.

I was soon to find out that I was wrong. Cloud definitely wanted to be there, perhaps more than the others, and maybe he wasn't that shy. He and Zack had got on perfectly and spent the whole way to the Reactor chatting. Without stuttering, the boy had a soft voice, spoke quietly and much less than Zack.

No, the only person he didn't talk to was me. He didn't look in my direction and he didn't approach me.

It wasn't that strange of a behaviour, he wasn't the only one and he wouldn't be the last, there was nothing there for me to worry about.

Again, I was wrong.

The boy looked at me constantly. Whenever I wasn't looking, his eyes would wander over to me. I could already tell when he was watching me, even though he never let our eyes meet.

At a certain point, it became amusing. Our mission was surveillance and there was hardly anything to do. So I entertained myself by seeing how long he could keep his eyes off me, or watching him try to disguise the fact that he was looking when I looked at him.

His reactions were entertaining and I had to control myself not to smile. Zack was doing squats, the sun was shining on the reactor and I was exchanging glances with a kid to entertain myself, as if I wasn't on a mission.

The first time I finally looked him in the eye, he just froze, his gaze met mine and his lips parted.

He had blue eyes, very blue. Pure, without mako. The innocent eyes of someone who had never killed, who had seen no war, no death, no suffering.

I was the one who had to look away. I felt my irises falter and I crossed my arms as I looked in another direction.

What's wrong with me?

My reaction was strange, but the feelings in my chest were even more so. Perhaps it was because that silly game of ours, which I'd let myself get carried away by, had gone on for too long.

For the first two days, we didn't speak. I listened to the words he and Zack exchanged and felt his blue eyes on me, without really understanding what the boy wanted.

On the third day, I finally confronted him.

“Why are you staring so much?”, I asked. It was just the two of us. Zack and Tifa had taken one of the scientists into town to get something, and he and I had stayed behind.

“Mm?”, he asked, standing a few meters away from me, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“I want to know why you look at me so much.”, I repeated. “Do we know each other?”

In other cases, I would have ignored him. Being used as publicity for Shinra taught me not to care. But there was something different about the way he... looked at me...

“I...” he began, still looking at the ground, his voice a barely there whisper. “I'm sorry.”

“Ie. I just want to know why.”, I said and crossed my arms. “If we met and I don't remember you, I'm sorry.”

“N-no, we didn't... we didn't meet...”

“Oh.”, I frowned. “If that's the case...?”

He lowered his face.

“I'm sorry... it's just...”, he smiled, more to himself than to me. “You're the hero, Sephiroth. I never thought... I'd ever see you or... be so close. I can still hardly believe it.”

It had been an extremely honest confession from someone who had spent two days unable to utter a single word around me.

I looked at the Makoro.

“Souka?”, I muttered.

It wasn't surprising that he thought like that. A hero, isn´t it? All everyone saw, what Shinra had made sure I'd turn into.

“I told Zack. My dream is to join Soldier, so to see you so close up...”, I glanced at Cloud, he was still smiling, his lips folded into a happy expression, his face no longer so downcast. “Although, after seeing you fight, I'm sure it's impossible for me.”

He was still smiling, but his eyes no longer matched his happiness.

He longed for something I'd always had, a thing I sometimes couldn't help resenting. And Cloud wanted it and seemed on the verge of tears at the thought of not having it.

I felt a strange sensation in my chest, something I couldn't explain. Cloud lowered his face to meet my gaze.

“I'm really sorry...”, he whispered. "I—"

“You don't have to apologize.”, I said. “I don't mind. You can look.”

I stopped without finishing. I wanted to say that I thought it was because of something else, but there was no point in that.

We didn't speak again that day.

And that's why I didn't understand what happened afterwards. The memories of that night were somewhat hazy, perhaps because I wasn't thinking clearly. I knew there were things like love potions being sold out there, though I doubted any could affect me.

No, it wasn't that. It was my fault. If I didn't understand the feelings Cloud was causing me, after a few days I simply stopped being able to control them, or at least I stopped being able to ignore them.

It was after a dinner at the mayor's house. Tifa and Cloud had also been invited.

The subject was light. Constant compliments, some thanks. But my eyes were on Cloud.

Zack and I were still in uniform, but both Cloud and Tifa must have been dressed in what I suppose were their best clothes, seeing who the dinner was with.

More important than the clothes, he was sitting right in front of me, on the other side of the table. He couldn't lower his face, he couldn't avoid my gaze so easily. It was as if the hunter had become the prey.

Cloud tried to avoid my gaze, but he had spent the last few days doing that himself, casting glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking. His eyes seemed to be drawn to me and he had to look away on purpose, because he knew I was watching.

It was almost exciting, in a way. Watching his blue eyes slowly drift towards me and away. I was expecting him to make a mistake, fool himself, the same way he had fooled me from the start.

But Cloud didn't, until the very end.

Neither of us had been drinking, but his cheeks were flushed.

And only then did he raise his eyes and stare at me.

-!

I felt my heart beat harder and it made me swallow in dry.

Blue eyes stared at me, their irises intertwined with mine. I saw the effort he was making not to look away. His lips opened, as if he was admiring me.

And I realized that maybe that was what desire tasted like.

There were other people at that dinner, important people from the community perhaps, but we exit the dinner alone, together.

The first time I took him was dirty and perverse.

Cloud was a child, 13 at the time. He was so small, so much younger than me. I could easily cover his body with mine, I could easily subdue him.

I took him, and I took him and I took him, everything Cloud had, whether it was offered to me or not.

In a ditch in Nibelheim, in the silence of the night. Between two cramped walls, I turned him onto his back and pushed him against one of them.

I remember his voice and his heavy breathing mixing with mine. First in exclamations of surprise as my hands slid over his body and clothes. Then in light sighs as I pulled down his clothes and rubbed against him without any control, searching for something that even I wasn't sure what it was.

He pushed himself against the wall, as if trying to pull away, both hands resting on the hard stone. I tore his pants as I pulled them down and Cloud's exclamation made me shudder. I was aroused like I'd never been before, as if I'd been numb to those sensations until then.

With no more fabric covering him, I pulled myself out of my own pants and took him there.

I took so many things from Cloud that night that his virginity was the last thing I thought about.

His voice became louder, cries mixed with moans. He couldn't take all of me the first time, but he would the next one.

Cloud's voice became sweeter, more excited. Echoing with the sound of our hips colliding, me possessing him.

My manhood became soiled with blood and semen. His life, my seed. He came too, against the wall and into his own hand.

His hips felt so small between my hands, his body folded under me, bent forward.

It was dark, but I could see him perfectly in the black, his blond hair, his small body being pushed back and forth.

I don't think I'll ever forget how his voice sounded, how he tasted under my fingers, under my body. How he moaned when I opened him up inside, when I possessed him. The sounds he made every time I thrust forward, as he came in my manhood, in a loud, wet voice.

I remember us kissing, a wet, frantic kiss, exchanging saliva, his small tongue flicking at mine as I filled his mouth, as I filled him inside.

That's where I poured myself into his body, between his legs. Cloud was shaking and crying and moaning and I wanted him to keep going, faster, harder and louder.

And then it was over. As if an eternity or just a few minutes had passed. I was breathing fast, Cloud's voice had become hoarse and he was gasping for air.

I remember the sweat dripping down my brow, my flesh softening, the mess of white running down the middle of his thighs, almost glowing in the dark.

I returned to Midgar on the morning of the fifth day.

“Sephiroth?”

His voice suddenly woke me from my thoughts.

I looked at Angeal, who, I don't know since when, was standing a few paces in front of me.

“I'm sorry, did you say something?”, I muttered, and tried to put what I was thinking out of my mind. “I didn't hear you coming in.”

“I noticed that. I called you a few times but you didn't hear me.”, he said with a small smile.

“I'm sorry, I was thinking about something.”

“Work?”

“Ie.”, I replied with a shake of head.

“So, is something going on?”, he murmured as he handed me a bottle of water, which I accepted.

“No. Why would it be?”

“Because you've been in this training room for five minutes with the program turned off, staring at nothing.”, he said and held up the bottle of water he had for himself. “If I didn't know you, I'd say something was wrong. Maybe you'd like to talk.”

I lowered my eyes to the bottle of water in my hand with the Shinra logo on it.

I thought about what would happen if I told him, and that maybe I'd rather have Angeal's support than his concern.

I brought the water bottle to my lips, Angeal was drinking from his.

“I impregnated a boy in Nibelheim.”, I muttered, realizing that it sounded worse than it did in my head, and took a sip of water.

“PFffffffff—"

Angeal lowered the bottle as he spat out the water he had just drunk. I gently stepped back to avoid being hit and closed my bottle.

“That...”, Angeal coughed a few times before continuing. “That´s a good one, Sephiroth—"

He coughed a few more times and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Sorry.”, he murmured, referring to the spit water. “And I think you should leave the comedy to me. Or to Zack. I almost believed you.”

“It's not a joke.”, I said and turned to face Angeal. “I'm serious.”

Angeal frowned, probably trying to figure out if I was really being truthful or not.

“Are you really serious?”, he asked, with a graver expression.

“Mm.”, I nodded. “I am.”

“What happened?”, he asked and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You don't want to know."

“Yes, I do.”, said Angeal and it was the same posture he adopted when we were going to have a serious conversation. “Did you say Nibelheim? Wasn't that the mission you went on with Zack?”

“He had nothing to do with it.”

“I wasn't suggesting that he did.”, clarified Angeal. “I'm just trying to... what happened, Sephiroth?”

I sighed.

“It's really difficult to explain.”, I admitted. “I didn't... expect this to happen.”

“So you don't remember?”

“It's not that. It was just...”, I parted my lips but the words wouldn't come out. There was no way to explain. “It was an accident.”

“Mm, souka. I know you're not the type of person to...”, Angeal didn't finish the sentence, it was on purpose, but I understood what he meant.

I wonder what kind of person I really am now, after what I've done.

We stayed in silence for a few moments, until Angeal spoke again.

“So, who is he?”

“Mm?”, I frown at him.

“The boy. From Nibelheim. Who is he?”

“His name is Cloud. He's one of the town´s people. Together with another girl, he was in charge of taking us to Nibel Yama.”

“Hm.”, Angeal nodded in my direction, as if asking me to continue.

I crossed my arms.

“That's all I know.”, I muttered, somewhat embarrassed.

Angeal disguised a small smile, and I gave him a sharp glance.

“Sorry.”, he muttered, and coughed. “It's just... this seems surreal, Sephiroth. This kind of thing doesn't suit you at all. You're telling me that you went on a mission, that you met a boy and that you—"

“Spare me the details.”, I cut in coldly.

“I wasn't going to go into details.”, said Angeal, and at the look on my face, he sighed. “And? Do you know what you're going to do?”

I pressed my arms tighter against my chest.

“What would you do?”

Angeal looked away and pondered for a moment. If he thought “I wouldn't have done it in the first place”, his expression didn't show it.

“I'd do the right thing.”, he said, as if it were simple. “What a good man would do. Take responsibility for his actions.”

I smiled dryly.

“I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a good man.”, I muttered bitterly, and Angeal came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“It means that you are human, contrary to what many people and sometimes even you doubted.”, he said, staring at me. “And humans make mistakes. Even the best ones.”

“Even heroes?”

“Yes.”, he nodded. “Although, in our profession, thinking about trivial things like having children is almost impossible.”

I nodded and Angeal removed his hand from my shoulder.

I took a few steps back and put the water bottle down on the floor, my hair sliding over my shoulder with the movement, I had to push it away with my hand.

“Are you going to inform Shinra?”, he asked.

“No. It would attract unnecessary attention.”

“To the boy?”

“And to the child.”, I muttered.

Shinra has made enough of a spectacle of my life, there's no point in passing it on with my genes.

“Yes, it's probably for the best.”, Angeal simply said, we both knew what didn't need to be spoken out loud. Shinra wouldn't be happy about my “morality mistake”, and would probably try to keep them away. That's if that damned Hojo didn't have other plans.

“The fewer people who know, the better.”, I said.

"So, you, me, Cloud—"

“His mother and Zack.”

“You told Zack?”, Angeal asked in surprise, I turned to face him again.

“Cloud did. It seems they've become friends.”

“Typical Zack.”, Angeal murmured. “E—"

“Don't tell—"

“I won't tell—"

“Genesis/Genesis.”

We said it at the same time, with a sigh. Then we smiled at each other.

“Hai. I won't. It's a personal matter. I´m glad you trust me enough to tell me, Sephiroth.”, he said, again in that serious, honorable tone. “You can count on me for anything. Like to cover for you when you need to go there.

I smiled at Angeal.

“Thank you. I would appreciate that. Nibelheim isn't exactly close from here.”

“No, it's not.”

I walked to the middle of the room.

“And? Do you want to take advantage of the fact that we're both here and train? “

Angeal smiled.

"Why not? A little warm-up would be nice.”

Warm-up?

I grabbed my cell phone to start the simulation, Angeal moved away to lean his Buster Sword on a farther away wall.

“Anyway, Sephiroth. I didn't want to ask you this, but I think I have to.”, I heard the sound of the sword being leaned against the wall carefully and continued clicking the buttons.

Simulation

Junon Canon

Start

Yes? No?

“Are you sure you're the father?”

I suddenly looked up from my cell phone to Angeal. He was staring at me from across the room.

“What are you saying?”

“It´s not of my business what happened between you. But even you know what I mean.”

I closed my cell phone.

“Yes. It's mine.”, I said. “The child is mine. I'm sure of it.”

Angeal nodded.

“Congratulations, then.”

“It's too early to celebrate.”

“It's better than being too late.”

I put my cell phone away and headed for the exit.

“What about training?”

“I'm not in the mood for just a warm-up.”

He smiled and I left the room.

Chapter Text

“Oh, you...”, the woman stopped in the middle of the road to look at the soldier. “Zack, wasn't it?”

“Eh, do you remember me?”, asked Zack proudly.

“Of course! You were one of the boys who came with Sephiroth-sama, weren't you?”, she asked. "Tell me, isn't he with you?”

Zack's shoulders slumped visibly and he bent forward, dejected.

"Moh, I can't believe she only remembers me because of Sephiroth. Being a hero really does make things easier for you, doesn't it?”

But he got up again at once.

“It was me! But just so you know, I'm also a Soldier like him! So, if you need any help, you can count on me.”, he pushed his fist against his chest to emphasize his words.

“Souka? That's a shame...”, murmured the woman. “Such a handsome man, I wouldn't have minded seeing him again, even from afar. But of course someone so important wouldn't come to Nibelheim like that.”

“My God, everyone just thinks about him.”, thought Zack.

“Speaking of which, what are you doing here?”, asked the woman. “Hasn't the problem at the Makoro been solved?”

"Rest assured, there's nothing wrong with the reactor. I'm just passing through.”

“Is that so? Well, enjoy.”

“Thank you. Ah, do you happen to know where Cloud is?”

“Cloud...?”, the lady thought for a moment. “I haven't seen Claudia's son in a while... you should go to their house and ask.”

“Thank you very much, ma'am.”, Zack thanked her with a friendly smile.

“You're welcome.”, and the woman walked away.

“Yoshi... and Cloud's house was...”, Zack looked around the village. “That one.”

And he moved towards the house.

Once there, he knocked on the door and waited.

He waited a few moments, but there was an answer.

“Strange...”, he muttered and knocked a second time.

No one answered.

Zack stepped back and put his hand to his chin as he thought. He had come to Nibelheim somewhat on purpose, because he was sure he would meet Cloud.

“Where could he be...?”, he wondered, as he looked at the house.

A sudden movement at an upstairs window caught his eye.

“Cloud...?”, he muttered. Zack had a strange feeling, and perhaps that's what made him go forward and open the door.

It wasn't locked. The door opened backwards with a low groan and Zack stepped inside.

“Ano...sumimasene...”, he muttered and stepped into the hall. “I'm coming in...”

Zack looked around, the house was silent. No sign of Cloud or his mother.

“Mmm... maybe I got it wrong...”, he muttered. "But I was sure...”

“Zack?”, a soft voice sounded from the stairs and Zack immediately turned towards it.

Cloud was standing at the top of the stairs, one hand on the banister, looking down at the Soldier. Zack gave him a big smile.

“Yo. Sorry to barge in like that. I called but no one answered.”, he said.

"I didn't know you were in town.”, said Cloud. "What are you doing here?”

“I had a mission in the area, and since it ended early, I decided to stop by.”, he explained.

"Did you come alone?”, the boy asked.

“Hum. My squadron is heading back to Midgar now.”

“Souka...”, Cloud murmured and lowered his eyes for a moment, thinking.

Then he raised them to Zack.

"Come on in. Do you want to come up?”

“Oh, that—"

The door behind the entrance was opened, attracting both their attention. Claudia entered, a basket of herbs resting between her arm and chest.

"You...”, she muttered, looking at Zack.

“Claudia-san. Long-time no see.”, greeted Zack. “Sorry for dropping by uninvited. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by for a visit.”

“Souka...”, mumbled Claudia.

“Zack was just leaving, Kaa-san.”, Cloud interrupted and Zack turned to his friend.

“I was?”

“You were.”, Cloud turned away and walked up the stairs.

“What?”, Zack climbed the first two steps. “I just told you I'd come on purpose to see you! Nee, Cloud...”

“I'm sorry about my son.”, said Claudia, looking at where Cloud had been seconds before. “Since you've come all this way, can I offer you a cup of tea?”

Zack turned towards Claudia, then took one last look over his shoulder at the stairs.

“Of course. Thank you.”

...

...

...

Zack was sitting at the table while Claudia made tea. The soldier glanced at the sword he had left in the doorway, leaning against the wall.

The sound of crockery being placed on wood interrupted his thoughts.

“Here.”, said the woman with a small smile.

“Thank you very much.”, Zack thanked her and held up the mug as Claudia walked away towards the kitchen.

Zack brought the cup to his lips and took a short sip, but not short enough for the bitter taste not to make him regret accepting the tea.

He swallowed the "Uh" he wanted to make and put the cup down.

“It's very good, thank you for inviting me.”, he thanked her.

“You're welcome.”, Claudia replied, as she washed another cup in the sink with her back turned to the boy.

“Ano...”, began Zack, not really knowing how to start the conversation. “Is everything all right with Cloud? It's hard to explain, but he seemed...off.”

Claudia sighed and turned off the water. Zack followed her with his eyes as the woman wiped her hands on her apron and took her place across the table from him.

“Actually... I was hoping you could help me with that.”, admitted Claudia, Zack stared at her.

Claudia sighed again and finally raised her blue eyes to look at Zack, who thought that her eyes were just like her son's.

“Zack, you're a friend of my son, right?”

Zack thought about the question. He and Cloud had only known each other for a short time. Maybe he wouldn't say they were “friends”, but—

“Yes, I am.”

“And you're just a friend?”

Zack frowned.

“Of course. What else would I be?”

“So you don't have ulterior motives with my son?”

“Ulterior...”, began Zack, until he realized what she was referring to. “Of course not! We're just friends!”

“So you've never done anything... intimate with Cloud?”

Zack's lips fell open in shock and the Soldier wondered how did he end up having that conversation with his friend's mom. But Claudia-san looked just as uncomfortable as he did, if not more so, fidgeting nervously in her chair.

“No. As I told you, Claudia-san, we're just friends. I also... I have a girlfriend in Midgar so... I wouldn't cheat on her either.”

Claudia stared at him and Zack was sure she was seeing beyond him. The woman might have had doubts, but she only found honesty in his Mako's shinning eyes.

"Souka...”, she murmured and lowered her eyes. “I'm sorry for asking you this, Zack. My son is very shy and it's hard for him to get along with someone as well as he's getting along with you. So... I thought...”

“No, I understand. You're just trying to protect him...”, said Zack, not wanting to make her feel bad.

“I think it's already too late…”, she whispered, and something in her tone caught Zack's attention.

“What do you mean...?”

The woman looked up at Zack.

“Thank you for being honest with me, Zack. And I want to repay you for your honesty. If you're my son's friend, I'm sure you wouldn't do anything to harm him.”

“Of course not!”, exclaimed Zack.

“And that's why I need you to promise me that you won't tell anything.”

“I won't.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

Claudia sighed again.

“Cloud... he's with child.”

There was a moment of silence as Zack processed the information.

Cloud.

The blond boy.

Thirteen? Fourteen?

From Nibelheim.

With child?

Like, a pregnancy?

The same person he had shown a few months ago how to use a sword? The same person?

“Eh?!”, he ended up exclaiming. “Cloud? Really?”

The woman nodded, her eyes downcast. Zack scratched the back of his head.

“I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting that. But congratulations! I bet you're both...”

But he shut up when he saw Claudia's tired expression. She definitely didn't look happy.

Zack decided to keep quiet.

“Thank you for your kind words.”, Claudia forced a small smile. “It's just... it's still very recent.”

“Of course. There must be a lot to think about before you celebrate.”, said Zack.

He leaned back in his chair.

Who knew that Cloud was hiding that kind of secrets? The boy seemed so convinced of his dream of joining Soldier that it was almost bizarre.

“I'm happy for him.”, thought Zack. "Maybe I should tell him. Clearly Claudia-san is still in shock.”

“I didn't even know Cloud had someone special.”, confessed Zack, more to himself than to the woman. He leaned forward slightly. "Can I talk to your son, Claudia-san? Maybe he needs it.”

“He doesn't.”

“Mm?”

"Cloud... doesn´t have no one special...”, mumbled Claudia. “I don't know who the father is.”

This time Zack couldn't disguise his shock, especially when Claudia looked so defeated. His blue eyes opened wide and his lips parted involuntarily.

“So....”, was the only thing he managed to mutter.

“I don't know. Cloud doesn't want to tell me. I thought it might be you, since you got on so well and the time you were here matches. I thought Cloud was trying to cover for you. But now...”

Hence the strange and uncomfortable questions. She thought Zack had...with his son...

“No, I didn’t...”, Zack didn't know what to say.

“And that's why I have to ask you a favor, Zack.”, said Claudia, and Zack remembered his own mother for some reason. Perhaps the worried maternal tone was similar. “Cloud doesn't talk to me, but you are friends, even if for just a short time. Maybe he'll tell you, if you talk to him.”

Zack parted his lips and then closed them again.

“You come from a small village too, right? You know how mean and judgmental people can be in situations like these. I just want to protect Cloud.”

The woman took a deep breath before pleading.

“Please talk to him.”

“Mm.”, Zack nodded. “I'll talk to him.”

Claudia smiled, and it was genuine. It made her look less tired and less worried.

“Thank you.”

Zack stood up.

“I'll talk to him now, alright?”

Claudia nodded and pointed to where the stairs were.

“It´s the room on the left.”

And Zack walked up the stairs towards the room on the left.

He stopped in front of the door and hesitated for a second. Then he raised his hand and knocked.

“Cloud? It's me. Your mother let me come up.”

Movement was heard inside the room and a moment later, Cloud opened the door, just enough for Zack to see him, but clearly not enough to be an invitation for him to come in.

“Zack.”, he muttered. "Sorry about earlier.”

“It's fine.”, Zack murmured. “Can we talk?”

Cloud seemed to hesitate but eventually nodded and opened the door wider.

Zack entered the room and closed the door behind him.

Cloud walked across the room and sat down on his bed, which was unmade. Zack looked around the room after a moment and finally got a good look at Cloud.

Well, he wasn't as obviously with child as Zack had expected, and being in black didn't help either, or maybe it was the angle, or that Zack didn't want to stare so hard that his friend got uncomfortable.

But clearly there was something. A slightly rounded shape under the shirt, noticeable on Cloud's slim figure.

“So, what do you want to talk about?”, Cloud asked.

“Oh, nothing much.”, said Zack. “How have you been?”

“Fine. And you?”

“Fine too! Anything strange with the Makoro since I've been here?”

“No, nothing.”

“Good.”, said Zack with a smile. “That was a simple mission, but it was one of the best in recent times.”, Zack walked forward and dropped sat next to Cloud.

“Souka?”

“Yes. The last ones are either too banal, or they're like: Reports of a Dragon in the mountains that was actually a cow.”

Cloud's closed expression cracked into a smile.

“That sounds awful.”

“It is! Angeal says it's more normal than it sounds, but they're always a bucket of cold water.”

“Angeal?”

“Ah, the Class First I told you about.”, said Zack, gesturing with bis hands. “Actually, he was the one who was supposed to come to the mission here, not me. I don't know what it was, but I ended up coming instead. With Sephiroth.”

Cloud's irises quivered at the mention of the name and he stopped smiling.

“How is he...?”

“Hum? Who?”

“...Sephiroth...”

Zack shrugged.

“I don't know. We could both be in Soldier, but I rarely see him.”

“Mm...”, Cloud lowered his eyes. “I see.”

They were silent for a few moments, until Zack sighed.

“Listen. I talked to Claudia-san.”

-!

“She told me. Your mom seems really worried about you. Shouldn't you just tell her the truth?”

Cloud lowered his face and mumbled something in a barely there voice.

“What?”

“I can't. I'm sorry, Zack. I can't.”

“Why?”, Zack stood up. “Even if it was an accident, isn't it better to tell the truth? Your mother wants to help you. Now I do too. And it's not the end of the world, it's just—"

“Zack.”, Cloud cut him off suddenly, without raising his face. “I'm sorry, I can't. I know you want to help, but I—"

“Is it because of Soldier?”, Cloud raised his eyes to his friend, who was so close and also so far from the truth.

“What...?”

“It's not because of a child that you won't get in! I mean, I don't know any who has children, but that doesn't mean you can't be the first!”

Cloud stared at Zack, his lips parted, his blue eyes wide.

Then he had to turn his face away to swallow the tears that threatened to form under his eyes. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was that Zack made things seem so easy.

“But still...”, Zack sat back down next to Cloud. “You should tell.”

“I... can't...”

“Your mother thought it was me.”

Cloud looked at his friend in shock.

"She... didn't ask you that, did she?”

When Zack didn't reply, Cloud understood the answer and sighed.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. She was just worried.”, said Zack. “Honestly, it was a really strange question, until she explained the rest to me.”

“Well, I suppose it was.”, Cloud murmured and raised his face again to look at Zack, who was staring at him.

They both parted their lips and were about to speak at the same time, but Claudia's voice interrupted them.

“Cloud.”, the voice came from the bottom of the stairs, the boy stood up and Zack looked at him with a frown.

“It's nothing. Wait here.”, and with that, he left the room, his blond hair disappearing beyond the door that he closed behind himself.

Now alone, Zack sighed and turned to lie down on Cloud's bed, one of his arms hanging beyond the mattress.

“Excellent way to cheer him up...”, he muttered. "What am I supposed to do? They didn't teach us how to deal with any of these things in training.”, he said waving his hand from side to side in the blank space.

“Maybe I should make bets? Throw names around? No, I don't know anyone from Nibelheim, it wouldn't work. Although Claudia-san seems pretty sure it's someone from outside.”

Zack slid his fingers through Cloud's ruffled sheets, spilling out of the bed.

“What did she say? That the time matched? The time of conception? Damn it, I don't understand any of this.”

Zack continued to rack his brains, thinking about their visit to Nibelheim.

He suddenly sat up in bed, almost in a jump.

“It can't be! Was it one of the scientists?”, he exclaimed, but the shock wore off quickly when he thought about it for a second.

He fell back onto the bed and turned his face to the side to look at the sheets he was playing with.

“Nah. That's impossible. Those guys are super boring, they're not Cloud's type at all.”, he muttered and moved his head further towards the edge of the bed.

That's when he noticed the black fabric lying there. He pulled at it, thinking it was another blanket that had fallen off the bed, but it wasn't stuck and came off easily.

With a frown, Zack pulled at the black fabric, noticing that it was much longer than it looked as he pulled it out from under the bed.

He held it in both hands and lifted it up to get a better look. It was a black jacket, long, like, really long.

“Mm...?”, murmured Zack. "What's this?”

Where has he—

“It looks just like...”, murmured Zack and frowned some more. "How is this here?”

At that moment Cloud entered the room and closed the door behind him.

“I'm sorry, I was just—” the boy suddenly fell silent when he saw what Zack had in his hands.

-!

But before he could speak, or justify himself, or say anything, anything at all, Zack spoke first.

“Is this... Sephiroth's coat...?”, he asked, shifting his eyes to Cloud. "Where did you find this?”

-!

Zack may have only known Cloud for a short time, but he knew he wasn't a thief. Someone who wanted to join Soldier like him couldn't be! But nothing made sense. That coat there was impossible. How could Cloud have something that belonged so intimately to Sephiroth? And it couldn't be a copy! Not with that size and that level of detail!

So... how...?

Cloud swallowed visibly, Zack stood up and left the coat on the bed.

“Nee, what's wrong, Cloud?”, he asked. “Help me out here, I'm losing my mind and I can't understand.”

Zack looked desperate, but not like his mother. His eyes didn't say "I need to know the truth", they looked like an implicit request for "I want to believe you".

Cloud parted his lips.

“He gave it to me.”, he murmured.

“Huh?”

“Sephiroth... he gave it to me. “

Zack looked at the coat, then at Cloud.

“I see.”, he agreed. “I knew you were a fan of his, but I didn't know you were that much. You're lucky he agreed. Soldiers rarely give things like this away. They're usually super expensive and high-tech products and things like that.”

Cloud parted his lips as Zack crouched down and hid the coat under the bed again.

“You should hide it better anyway. You're lucky it was me who found it.”, he continued, looking over his shoulder at Cloud, with a smile on his lips.

"Ie... it wasn't like that.”

“Hm?”

“It wasn't... he gave it to me because...”

Cloud shut up abruptly.

Zack stood up and walked over to his friend with long strides, putting both hands on his shoulders.

“Did he do something you didn't like? Sephiroth is a bit strange, but Class First are usually like that. You should meet Genesis. But he's not a bad person, so if he said something or did something, don't take it the wrong way.”

Cloud stared at Zack, and only spoke again after a moment's silence.

“You really are his friend... aren't you?”

“No.”, Zack shook his head. "I wouldn't call us friends. That's just... what I think.”

Cloud looked straight into Zack's eyes. He wasn't going to give up. Cloud was sure Zack wasn't going to give up.

“So.”, Zack squeezed Cloud's shoulders harder. “What happened... between you?”

“I... we...”, Cloud sighed. "We... got involved.”

“Got involved...?”

“We...”, Cloud bit his lower lip for a moment. “Yes... that's it.”

“Got involved...?”, Zack asked with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“It was the night of the dinner.”, admitted Cloud. “We went out together and then...um...”

The phrase “got involved” echoed in Zack's head. Clearly he knew what it meant and what it referred to. But it was as if it didn't fit. It was improbable, it was impossible, it was...

It was a confession, Cloud was confessing and Zack wasn't listening.

"They got involved."

“You're telling me that you and Sephiroth...”, Zack swallowed. “That you... slept together...?”

Cloud blushed but couldn't pull away because Zack was still holding him by the shoulders. But when Cloud lowered his head, Zack had the answer he needed.

“Whaaaat?”, he exclaimed. “How did that happen?”

“I don't know. I still can't believe it.”

“You didn't dream it?”

Cloud looked at Zack with a frown, as if the question was absurd.

It was absolutely absurd.

“You said it was when we were here?”

“Hm.”

“After dinner with the mayor?”

“Mm.”

Zack looked at Cloud for any sign that it was a joke. A ridiculous, bizarre joke.

No. Cloud, he wasn't lying.

“How...how did that happen?”

Cloud deflected, clearly uncomfortable.

“Ah, gomen, gomen. That's not what I meant. It's just...I can't imagine—"

“I know.”, Cloud cut in. “He's a hero and I'm a country boy. I know what you're thinking.”

“It's nothing like that.”, Zack denied. “Sephiroth may be a hero, but he's not the friendliest person...he seems rather indifferent, you know? Not the kind of person you imagine...in a relationship.”

Unattainable, that was the aura that Sephiroth conveyed but that Zack couldn't explain. Especially not to someone who idolized the hero of Shinra, as did the whole world.

Cloud continued to stare at Zack, who just sighed.

“Forget it.”, he muttered. “What I mean is that I'm surprised, but not because of you, but because of Sephiroth.”

Cloud smiled a little.

“Thanks, Zack.”

Zack stepped back, letting go of his shoulders.

“It's his child, right? Is that why... you don't want to tell...?”

Cloud didn´t even was surprised by Zack's words, he just nodded.

“Souka... I think I understand. But you should at least tell Claudia-san, no?”

“I'd rather she didn't know. I don't want anyone in the village...”, Cloud didn't finish. Another incomplete sentence that was too heavy to be said out loud.

“But you're going to tell him, aren't you?”

“Sephiroth?”

“He's the father, isn't he?”

Cloud crossed his arms over his chest, in a defensive position. To Zack it would almost have been threatening if, well, if it wasn´t Cloud.

“I won't.”, but seeing Zack's expression, he hastened to add, uncrossing his arms. “You're not going to tell him.”

“He has to know, Cloud.”, said Zack, and the boy shook his head.

“No. This... don't tell him.”

“Are you serious? It's only fair that Sephiroth knows. You don't have to endure all this alone.”

“Please, Zack. You can't tell him.”

“But you have to.”, said Zack. “It's not right not to tell him. Even if it is Sephiroth.”

“Zack, you don't understand.”, Cloud was speaking more quietly now. “I don't want to. Please don't...”

Cloud was serious, begging him to keep quiet. Zack crossed his arms and pondered the matter, perhaps without understanding what Cloud was thinking. But he must be scared, right? The father wasn't just any man, he was perhaps the best-known person on the planet.

And Cloud was really just a country boy after all.

“I understand. I'm not going to tell him.”, said Zack, and the look of relief that shaped Cloud's features almost made him regret what he said next. “But you have to tell him. “

Cloud lowered his eyes.

“What?”

“Promise me you'll tell him.”

“A person like him doesn't come to Nibelheim like that. It's okay, Zack. You don't have to—"

“I'll tell him to come.”, said Zack and sighed. What the hell had he gotten himself into? “Tell you what. In... I don't know... a month? I'll come back, okay? Until then, you think about...how do you want to tell him and all that stuff.”

Cloud didn't answer and Zack couldn't understand what he was thinking.

“Mm.”, Cloud finally agreed. "I'll tell him. I just... need time.”

“Understood.”, said Zack and gave him a big smile. “It'll be fine.”

And the Soldier member wondered again what had he gotten himself into.

Sephiroth

“Ano saa...”, Zack was in my office, for a reason I couldn't understand and which he hadn't yet made known to me.

I kept my eyes on the report I was trying to write. It wasn't going to be signed by me, since it was Angeal's responsibility and he had asked me to do it at the last minute. He hadn't explained why he couldn't do it and I hadn't asked him either.

Angeal didn't want me to know and Genesis hadn't said anything about it, but I knew they were going to see Loveless at the theatre.

Genesis was smiling more, albeit discreetly. And I'd heard Angeal practicing his lines in the training room, book in hand as he paced back and forth, repeating what he read.

Another deepening of a relationship that I couldn't be a part of.

They were getting closer and closer, further and further away. I couldn't end the distance.

I couldn't belong to their bond.

“Are you listening to me?”, Zack asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up from the paper and put the pen down.

“What do you have to tell me?”, I asked, and Zack seemed to hesitate for a second before speaking.

“Do you know our mission in Nibelheim?”

The name appeared into my mind almost immediately.

Cloud...

“A kid called Cloud Strife, remember him?”, he asked.

More than remembering, it's as if I can't forget.

A few months have passed, but I still find myself thinking about him. On missions, or in training, or at work, my thoughts always end up returning to blue eyes and blond hair.

Even though I knew I shouldn't, I shouldn't feed something that messed with my feelings like that and made me lose control.

And yet, I keep thinking.

My lips sealed into a line and I clenched my fist, locking my fingers together.

I can still feel...the flesh...and the look in his eyes...

“I remember.”, I ended up saying. “Why?”

Zack shifted his weight from one leg to the other and rested his hand on the back of his neck.

“Nothing much... I just wanted to know if you remembered.”

“I thought it was you who was his friend.”

“But you talked to Cloud too, didn't you?”

I leaned back in my chair.

“I don't think so.”

“No?”, Zack asked. “But you went out together that night at the mayor's house.”

I gave him a sharp look.

How does he know that?

I wasn't... discreet that day, but still...

“What do you want?”

“I just...”, Zack sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Listen, it's just... I was in Nibelheim...”

He was with Cloud...

“So?”, I pressed.

“I talked to him and... this is going to sound strange, but you have to go to Nibelheim.”, he said.

I studied Zack's expression, his blue eyes on mine reminded me of a dog asking for something.

“I refuse. There's no reason to go back to Nibelheim.”, I said, I rested my elbows on the table and close my hands together.

I shouldn't go back to Nibelheim. Not until these feelings are completely gone.

“I had a feeling you were going to say that...”, he muttered and rubbed the back of his head again, before lowering his arms. “But this is really serious!”

“Whatever it is, I'm sure your skills will be enough to handle it.”, I said, Zack walked over to me and placed both hands firmly on my desk, my irises didn't even twitch.

“I would if I could, but it has to be you.”, he said. “It can only be you.”

“I don't understand your insistence.”, I said with a frown. “This could be the chance you've been looking out for to be a hero.”

Zack lowered his head and reminded me of a dog again.

“Please. Even if you don't understand, please.”

I watched Zack carefully again. His muscles were tense and his face was low, he's basically begging me at this point.

I have a feeling I'm going to regret this.

I undid my hands and rested my elbows on the arm of my chair to lean back.

“Fine. I'll accompany you to Nibelheim.”

Zack suddenly raised his head and his face lit up.

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Ohh, thanks!”, he cheered. “Thank you, really.”

I parted my lips but hesitated before speaking.

"Did Cloud ask you to tell me this?”

“No. It was me who wanted to.”, he replied.

Am I disappointed? It's not like I could have expected anything else.

“Souka...?”

Chapter Text

2 weeks later

Nibelheim

Sephiroth

It was evening when we arrived at the village, in an attempt not to attract unnecessary attention.

Zack, in front of me, knocked on the door of the house, and we waited.

Moments later, a lady opened the door.

“Zack-kun, good evening. What—"

Her eyes moved to me, our gazes met for a moment.

Her blue eyes gave away who she should be. His mother...

She fell suddenly silent while seeing me.

"I'm sorry we just showed up out of the blue.”, Zack hurried to say. “Can we come in?”

She stepped back to let us pass, her eyes still on me.

“Excuse me.”

“Excuse me.”, I murmured as I entered after Zack, the woman closing the door behind me.

I heard a voice and footsteps before the figure appeared from a side door.

“Kaa-san. Who—?”

For a second, it was as if everything stopped.

Blue eyes met mine, getting wider.

I felt something shudder in my chest, feelings I didn't understand clawing at me. Cloud blinked a few times, the irises trembling in his clear eyes.

And for a second, mine trembled too.

It was as if the other people had disappeared. I looked at him from above, he raised his eyes to look up at me.

Cloud...

The enchantment, the charm, didn't last forever. Even if we remained still, almost frozen in time.

It broke when I lowered my eyes to look at him fully.

-!

Cloud was much shorter than me, much smaller. Slim, narrow. Maybe that's why his belly seemed even more prominent, sticking out roundly from his body.

It took me another moment to process what was so obviously in front of me.

Pregnant...

How...?

Suddenly, I felt impossibly stupid and wanted to laugh at the ridiculous position I had put myself in.

Ridicule and surprise mixed together, I hadn't imagined that I could feel as idiotic as I did at that moment.

I immediately regretted following Zack.

Of course... he has someone else.

He's beautiful, with those eyes that even me—

Again, I had to stop myself from laughing. How foolish...

It wasn't long-lasting, it was never meant to be. It doesn't mean anything, even if I keep thinking about him. I have no one to blame but myself.

“Oh, Cloud.”, Zack took a step towards the boy. “How are you?”

Cloud didn't answer, he just kept looking at me. I turned my face in another direction so I wouldn't have to look at him.

“You're... Sephiroth, right?”, said the lady to me.

"Yes. I don't think we've met.”

“No, we didn´t. My name is Claudia, Cloud is my son.”

I wasn't surprised, but I wondered how she would feel when her son was going to have a child himself.

“Kaa-san.”, Cloud finally spoke, but there was something in his tone that sounded different. “Let me be me who—"

“We talked about this, Cloud.”, his mother cut in. "And I think you should wait in your room while we have this conversation.”

“Ie. I want to be here”, he said, and looked at Zack, who just sighed.

"You know I don't decide anything, right?”

“Cloud...”, insisted his mother, but he shook his head in denial.

“I'm staying.”

“What's this about?”, I asked suddenly and all eyes came to me.

A moment of silence followed, until Zack spoke up.

"Why don't we sit down? Is there any more of that tea from the other day, Claudia-san?”

“It´s awful.”, said Cloud in a low tone, but Zack didn't seem to mind.

"Yes, we should sit down.”, said Claudia in a whisper and headed for the kitchen.

"Do you want some help?”, Zack offered Cloud, who shook his head and approached the table.

When he passed closer to me and our eyes met, he looked away and lowered his head before sitting down.

Zack also sat down and I decided to join them and take one of the chairs at the table, after leaving Masaume leaning on the table.

Claudia then came over, placing a cup in front of each of us.

Out of politeness, I brought my cup to my lips and took a short sip. It was bitter, quite bitter, but I recognized the plant that must have given it that taste. It's often used to treat nausea.

Hmph, appropriate.

Zack sipped his tea, Cloud didn't touch it.

Silence settled in. One that even Zack couldn't break. I watched Cloud discreetly. He wasn't looking at me again.

Regrets perhaps? No, that would be pathetically desirous of me.

He looked tired, eyes sunken, and even in the condition he was in, he seemed to have lost weight.

Apart from that, he looked exactly like the person who had infiltrated my thoughts.

Hmph...

When no one said anything, I had to break the silence.

I couldn't... look at him any longer...

“I want to know why I was called here.”, I said, in a neutral tone that didn't match any of the conflicting emotions I was struggling not to feel.

It almost looked like a meeting with Lazard. What Shinra wanted from us, what Soldier should do.

Who's pulling the strings here?

“Thank you, Zack-kun.”, Claudia thanked him.

“It was nothing. I just asked Sephiroth to come. No big deal.”

“And I'd like to know why.”, I said and gave him a sharp look. I should have said no.

“Of course.”, said Claudia. "It's because of my son.”

“Kaa-san.”, Cloud cut in. “I can talk.”

She didn't hear her son and continued talking, her eyes on mine.

“The child my son is carrying is yours. Cloud didn't want to, but I think you should know.”

The shock didn't hit me.

“That's impossible.”, I crossed my arms.

I saw the shock mark Cloud's expression and even Zack seemed confused.

“Are you going to deny what happened between you?”

“I'm not denying it. But that doesn't mean anything.”

“Oi, Sephiroth.”, said Zack. “It may come as a surprise to you, but that doesn't make it impossible.”

“It is impossible.”, I said. "That child is not mine.”

I stood up from my seat.

"Denying it won't change things.”, said Claudia.

"There's been a mistake.”, I said. “You have the wrong person.”

"That's impossible.”, said Claudia and stood up too. “Please.”

I grabbed my sword, the metal echoed against my fingers.

"If money is the problem—"

“This has nothing to do with money.”, said Claudia.

I was about to walk away towards the entrance, but Zack stepped in front of me.

“Oi, wait a minute. You're not even listening them.”

“What does this have to do with you?”

“Cloud didn't want you to know. He didn't even tell Claudia-san! I convinced him—"

“You're wasting your time—"

“—because I thought you deserved to know! You're the father, it was unfair that you would never knew just because you're a Soldier!”

I continued to advance and Zack was forced to retreat backwards to stay in front of me.

“Come on! You're better than this, Sephiroth! Cloud is doing his best. Look!”

I hit his hand with mine in a dry motion to push it away before he could touch me. Zack's expression distorted with pain for a second, but that didn't stop him from trying again.

I thought about hitting him the Masamune's hilt, but he was quicker (and I hesitated), he grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me sideways.

“Come on! Why would they lie?”, he continued.

Cloud was sitting in the same position. His face was low, his blond hair covering his eyes. And yet, I could see the way his lips were curved into an almost bitter smile. His lips moved, I couldn't hear the words, but I could see them.

“Of course he don´t believe me. He´s going to... hate me.”

“Nee, Sephiroth!”, I heard Zack's voice, pleading me.

I moved to get away and his hand came off my shoulder.

I crossed the hall and opened the door. I heard Zack's voice behind me and ignored him again.

I stepped forward into the night. The voices became distorted and distant, I felt the cold of the night hit my face and make strands of my hair sway.

I need to think. About everything.

That child can't be mine. It's... impossible.

If I'm going to hate him, won't he hate me even more...?

...

...

...

The next few hours were a blur. I don't remember sleeping, I just walk around aimlessly, almost in circles. Angeal called me at one point, but I didn't answer. It wasn't the time. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

Cloud's expression was imprinted on my eyes. The bitter pain, so similar to my own when I thought he...

But for the child to be mine? That was impossible.

My genes can´t be passed. I could never produce a child. Even with Cloud, who is young and fertile. Even after the way I possessed him and poured my seed into him.

It definitely wasn't the time to think about it, but the truth was that even though we had done it, nothing could come of it. Nothing, absolutely nothing. A barren tomorrow of promises or another identical verse that I had memorized from Loveless.

But after several hours of thinking about it, about the definitiveness of my sterility, about my genes, about Cloud. About the life he was nurturing in his belly.

His eyes that didn't meet mine, his tone of voice, his depressed smile. “He's going to hate me”.

Why would I hate him if it was my child? I didn’t know what he is thinking, and Cloud probably think the same about me.

The dust rose when my coat brushed against am old piece of furniture.

Everything in that place was covered with the passage of time, sofas, chests of drawers, cupboards. The Shinra mansion hadn’t been used for longer than I thought, now abandoned.

I continued to walk around the room, slowly. The Masamune was leaning against one of the pieces of furniture, the frayed windows letting in no light.

The phone in my coat ringed, but I didn't pay any attention to it.

The bitter smile stuck in my mind. Did I hurt him because I turned him down? That would be...it couldn't be true...

I can't have children...

But... what if that child is mine?

I stopped walking suddenly, doubt had crept into my mind, after so many hours of hitting feelings that weren't going to change.

I thought of Cloud, his black clothes hiding his belly, but not the prominent way he was with child.

A child that could... be mine...

I felt my breath catch in my throat and the wet sound my lips, which had been closed until then, made as they parted.

I thought of Genesis and the looks he exchanged with Angeal. I thought of Angeal and his "sorry, today's not going to work" about training. The distance that was growing with the only two people who have been with me.

The doctor telling me that my genes couldn't be passed on. I thought of Shinra.

And then of Cloud and the pain of thinking that he...

What if that child belongs to me?

I slid my hand across my face, trying to control my thoughts.

It would be a strong bond, deeper than flesh and blood. Between us, with the child.

Something that Shinra couldn't destroy or Masamune couldn´t cut.

Maybe that child was mine. Maybe it wasn't.

But I wished it was, I wished I could believe it.

How foolish, it's still ridiculous.

Whatever he did to me... I can't undo it.

It doesn't matter now anyway.

I walked to the exit of the room and left Shinra Mansion without taking Masamune.

...

...

...

I knocked on the door with the back of my hand. I crossed my arms as I waited and contemplated what I should say.

The words were running through my mind, I closed my eyes for a second to concentrate.

But then the door opened and Cloud appeared.

He seemed honestly surprised to see me, his eyes opening wider and his lips forming a small circle for a second.

Then he lowered his eyes.

"Zack went looking for you...”, he muttered, and the information didn't surprise me. Almost all the calls I didn´t answer must belong to him.

“And... Kaa-san isn't here... so...”

“I thought we could talk.”, I interrupted. "Just the two of us.”

Cloud lifted his face and stared at me for a moment.

Then, without saying anything, he opened the door more to let me in, which I did.

He closed the door behind me as I entered the hall. I heard the door click and the hinges shudder.

I turned slowly until I was facing him. Cloud was still standing by the door.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, I parted my lips to speak and he did the same.

“Cloud—"

“I—"

We fell silent abruptly. I waited for Cloud to continue, and he looked at me with the same expectation.

“I apologize for what I said.”, I stated. "It wasn't right of me.”

His lips parted further, but then he shook his head.

“Ie. I... I understand! Of course... a hero doesn't... this kind of thing...”

“Is the child you're carrying mine?”, I asked.

-!

His eyes opened wider, before lowering to his swollen stomach, I saw his fingers curl around the shirt over it. He shouldn't be nearing the end of his pregnancy, but on his small body, his belly looked bigger than it should have been.

“Yes. I didn't...”, he blushed and I knew what he meant.

Cloud didn't fool me. He didn't get involved with someone else. He didn't... cheat on me...

I thought about that night again. Of Cloud crying and moaning. How much he had given me. The heat, the desire, the flesh and blood.

"I want to take responsibility for what I did.”, I said. "For you. For the child.”

“Do you want...?”, he seemed genuinely surprised, perhaps regretful. "But you... being a Soldier... I don't want to...”

We were only a few meters away, but I could feel the enormous distance between us. Cloud cringed, probably never expecting me to return to Nibelheim. Maybe if it hadn't been for Zack, I would never have known.

He was going to bury that secret. Would he continue to think of me as I think of him or would he manage to forget me, as I seem incapable of doing?

I went forward and knelt down in front of Cloud. It was the first time we were at the same height, our eyes aligned.

Bright blue eyes, innocent, without Mako.

“That's what I want to do, Cloud.”, I said, slowly, in a low tone. "I hope you agree. If you don't want me, I'll make sure I don´t return to Nibelheim.”

“No, that's not it.”, he shook his head and lowered his eyes. "Are you sure...? I'm just... A country boy after all.

“If that's all you were...”, I muttered and he looked at me again. "I wouldn't be here. So let me take responsibility for what I've done, Cloud.”

His eyelashes covered his eyes momentarily when he blinked. His lips parting with a soft noise in the silence of the house.

He could feel that? This? What do I feel?

“I ask you to do the same...”

...

...

...

I had to leave. Angeal would get suspicious of my absence. Shinra would notice my lack of pronunciation. I couldn't afford to make mistakes like that. Not if I wanted to keep Cloud hidden and away from the noise of Midgar.

I quickly realized that Claudia didn't like me. She never told me in person, but it wasn't hard to tell from the way she looked at me or the way she avoided leaving me alone with Cloud.

She probably thought I would abandon my responsibility and disappear, or pay for their silence. She expected the worst from me and even now she was still expecting it.

Every moment I could, I went to Nibelheim. Just to see him and to get some kind of comfort from it. I couldn´t be sure that Cloud was happy. He'd smile and blush and let me stay close, and that should be enough.

I used to arrive at the end of the day, when it was already evening. After finishing work, or at the end of some mission. The distance from Midgar to Nibelheim was immense, so it meant that I would lose a night's sleep, or a whole day.

That didn't mean anything, though. Cloud, even when he looked tired, never said anything.

Or maybe he didn´t trust me enough to share it with me...

“You know I was in the middle of training, right?”, Zack asked me, frowning. "And I know you have the authority, but could you not call me out in the middle of a simulation?”

"It was Angeal that sent you.”, I said, disguising a smile. Angeal had laughed on the phone telling me “The koiinu is going”, but it seemed inappropriate of me say so when I had been the one to call him

“Because you called him.”, Zack countered and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Forget it. It's about Cloud, isn't it? Is something wrong?”

I leaned back in my chair. Of course he'd know what this is about.

“You're friends, right?”

“Mm. Yes, why?”, Zack asked, his head slightly tilted, like a dog.

"Do you know if he's all right?”, I asked, and Zack frowned.

“Did something happen?”

“Not that I know of.”

“So you're just asking me for the sake of asking?”, he asked, frowning even more.

“Correct.”

“He's fine. Apart from all those annoying pregnancy symptoms. Have you tried the tea? It's awful. Cloud asks me to drink his every time I go there. It's supposed to help with nausea, but it tastes horrible.”

“With the nausea?”

“Mm-hmm. It seems Cloud has been having a problem with that.”

“Souka...”, muttered, I had the feeling that Cloud had lost weight, and now I knew why.

"Listen, Sephiroth...”, Zack took a step forward. "Maybe you should talk to Cloud, no?”

I frowned in his direction.

"Even though he's carrying your baby, Cloud still idolizes you a lot. Maybe you should talk to him to...you know...? Try to connect better with him.”

Maybe he trusts me. But idolizing me? I thought that was over after we had…

I sealed my lips in a line. How am I supposed to do that?

Hmph, it's much harder to do it than to think about it. As much as I keep thinking about him, when I see him...

...I must have gone mad for good.

“I also need you to do me a favor.”, I said. “When you go to Nibelheim.”

“You're not going there?”

“I'm leaving for Rocket Town. It's a long mission.”

“Hm.”, he nodded. “What do you need me to do?”

I took the small black bag out of the drawer and pushed it to the edge of the table.

"This. Give this to him.”

“What is it?”, Zack grabbed the bag and felt its weight in his hand. “Gil...?”

I nodded and Zack sighed.

“Are you going to make me listen to Claudia-san again?”

“You're just doing what I asked of you.”

"She won't like it, Sephiroth.”, said Zack. “Did you hear—"

“Will you give it or not?”, I cut in, Zack looked at the bag before closing his fist around it.

“Mmm....”

...

...

...

Narrator

Cloud sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?”, Zack asked, sitting down next to him at the table and looking at his friend. Cloud had his arms crossed over each other on the table, his face buried between them.

“Mmm...”

“Tea?”, Zack joked with a smile, Cloud didn't reply. "You know, I talk to Aerith and she said she'd do exactly the same one. And she also said to hold your nose when you drink it so it tastes better.”

Cloud lifted his face slightly and rested it on the table between his arms.

"No, it's not because of the tea.”, he muttered. "It's about...”

“Let me guess... Sephiroth?”, Zack asked, Cloud only nodded.

He stretched one arm across the table and opened his hand to show the cell phone he was holding.

"He gave it to me...”, he murmured, his half-closed blue eyes fixed on the phone, staring at it and holding it as if it were something unimaginably precious.

"Damn it, Sephiroth.”, thought Zack. “When I told you to connect, that's not what I had in mind.”

“Hum, I thought Nibelheim didn't have a network. But with the Makoro here, it makes sense.”, said Zack, Cloud pulled his phone to himself again. “And? What's the problem?”

“I don't know... should I text him to say thank you? And when should I call?”, Cloud looked at Zack, his big blue eyes almost begging for answers, and Zack didn't have the courage not to give them.

“Well... I've never seen Sephiroth use his cell phone much. Only for missions and Shinra-related stuff.”, Zack rested his hand on his chin, making it up as he went along. Cloud's gaze was too intense and he couldn't disappoint him, could he? “Maybe if he gave you one it means that... you can call him whenever you want? I get messages from Shinra all the time, no matter what hour it is. Maybe it means you have...the same freedom...?

Cloud looked away, pondering Zack's words.

"But he's a hero, he must be busy all the time...”, Cloud muttered. "Do you know when I should call him? Or text him.”

"Not really.”, confessed Zack. "Why don't you try now?”

"And what would I say...?”, Cloud sighed, burying his head in his arms again. "It's impossible... I don't know what to say...”

"You do realize you're going to have his child, right?”, Zack asked, frowning. "I think that gives you the right to call and say what you want...”

"I don't want him to think I'm unfit... that I can't even... carry his child without complaining...”, Cloud muttered.

Zack rubbed the back of his neck.

"Seriously, man, you're really devaluing yourself...”, He sighed. "Sephiroth wouldn't do any better than you're doing, so don't be so hard on yourself.”

Cloud suddenly raised his face.

"Sephiroth here, Sephiroth there, he's not even listening to me.”, thought Zack with a small smile. He couldn't even bring himself to be upset. At least Cloud was talking now.

“Nee, Zack.”, said Cloud.”

“Hum? Nani?”

“You're friends, right?”, asked Cloud, with those big blue eyes.

"I wouldn't say...”, began Zack, Cloud's eyes twitching. "Eh, yes, we are. More or less.”

“So, what should I tell him?”, Cloud asked and he looked away. "I don't know what he's thinking... so it's hard...”

"I also don't know what Sephiroth is thinking”, said Zack and shrugged. "But I know he cares about you.”

-!

“I mean...”, Zack leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head. "He always asks me about you when I come to Nibelheim. And don't ask me how he knows, because I don't know either.”

"He... asks about me...?”, Cloud murmured.

"Mm. Yes, he does!”

Cloud looked away, a small smile appearing on his lips. Zack smiled at his friend's happiness.

If only it were that easy with Sephiroth...

Sephiroth

I dodged to the left once before blocking Genesis' blow. His sword slammed into mine with force, metal particles bouncing off from the impact.

I stepped back and Genesis did the same.

“Have you tried to declare Loveless?”, asked the one watching us, leaning against a tall tree in that simulation of a deep forest. "Maybe it'll help, Genesis.”

"I'd prefer it if you didn't distract me, Angeal.”, retorted Genesis, his eyes burning in my direction, as if he wanted to tear a hole in my face.

I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I raised a hand to ask Genesis to wait and move it to my pocket.

“Are you truly stopping our battle for that?”, asked Genesis and took a deep breath, controlling his own breathing.

"It could be important...”, I said. I opened the phone.

"This is more!”, Genesis cursed, and his voice was accompanied by a shower of flames casted in my direction.

I only had time to see the name on the screen.

Cloud.

I hesitated as I turned away. I barely had time to put the phone away and move to the left, behind a tree. The fire hit one of my arms and set my coat on fire.

I shook my arm quickly and hit it with my hand to put out the flames. Genesis' voice forced me to react, he didn't hesitate.

I felt the heat of the fire and the glow of the flames. I suddenly threw myself backwards, the momentum was enough to propel me upwards.

The tree exploded when the Faiga hit it. The ash and heat hit my face and I had to close my eyes for a moment, feeling my clothes and hair being pushed around by the force of the explosion.

Under the cloud of black smoke rising from the florest, I could make out Genesis, his red coat glinting in the green. Angeal had moved away, but perhaps not in time, because I saw his figure coughing out of the corner of my eye.

I squinted, raised my arm and threw Masamune towards Genesis. My sword cut through the air quickly, he dodged and it hit the ground, craving itself in the earth.

Still in the air and falling backwards, I got rid of my burnt jacket. I only had time to rescue my cell phone before the fabric hit the floor.

Did Cloud text me?

My feet found the ground, the cloud of smoke beginning to dissipate. I looked at the phone in my hand and resisted the urge to open it and read what he had sent me.

The fight wasn't over yet.

I left the phone on top of my jacket where the fire had already died down.

I started running towards Genesis, through the smoke.

Contrary to what I had thought, Masamune had hit him in the arm, grazed him. There was no blood on the ground, but Genesis was clutching his own arm, his fingers pressed into the flesh beyond his torn jacket.

He's... burning his own arm...?

I grabbed my sword, yanking it out of the ground with a sharp jerk. Genesis turned his face away to look at me and pulled his hand away from his arm to get a better grip on his sword, smoke rising from the wound.

Cloud contacted me...I thought he never would.

I continued to advance towards Genesis. He moved his sword and the blades of fire tore through the air. I dodged easily and kept moving fast. Our eyes met for a second, I saw Genesis grit his teeth.

But Genesis' expression broke when I disappeared in a flash and appeared behind him.

My sword brushed against his coat, pressed against his back, Genesis froze when he felt the blade touching his flesh, even with how lightly I was holding the Masamune.

“It's over.”, I said, and Genesis looked over his shoulder, but I pushed my sword harder against his back and he stopped.

“That's what it looks like.”, he muttered, frowning.

“It's really over, you two.”, said Angeal, hurrying towards us, phone in hand as he stopped the simulation.

The forest around us disappeared, the objects crumbling to make way for the gray room.

Genesis moved away from me almost immediately, his coat tearing on my sword with the movement.

In the middle of the room, the fire continued to burn. I was going to use blizzard, but the sprinklers suddenly turned on and the water started cascading from the ceiling.

Genesis walked away and Angeal and I stood there, watching the fire fade. I felt my wet hair stick to my face, the water dripping down everything.

“Well, that's better than what usually happens when you two fight.”, murmured Angeal, running his hand through his wet hair, more disappointed than he wanted to let on.

“Mm.”, I agreed, I stepped forward and picked up my coat from the floor.

"I'm going to see Genesis.”, he continued. "And you should see who texted you.”

He observed the room, the dying fire, the water that kept falling.

“I hope it was worth all this...”

...

...

...

Cloud:

Sorry to text you now, I didn't know what time would be good.

I want to thank you for this.

We're fine, everything's fine.

18:37

I let the towel hang around my neck and smile, looking at the screen.

It looks like he did write to me after all. I didn't think he would, but I'm glad I was wrong.

And now what should I answer...?

I reread the message and continued wiping my wet hair with the small towel, my eyes fixed on the phone.

“A time that would be good”, that's always hard to predict, but I don't mind him texting whenever he wants.

Although I totally lost my composure when he did...

“Thank you for this”, for the phone? For the money? I don't think Cloud has any other reason to thank me.

“We're fine”, he, the child, and perhaps his mother. And then he reinforced the idea.

I dropped the towel on the bed. I felt my still wet hair stick to my back.

I took my second hand to the phone and started typing.

"It's fine, you can text me whenever you please. Even if I don't see it right away, I'll answer you as soon as I can.

You're welcome. It's a reassurance since we're so far away.

I'm glad to hear you're all right. Please let me know if you need anything.

Sephiroth"

20:02

I still hesitated, but in the end, I sent what I had written. It was longer than Cloud had sent me, but just as straight to the point as his.

Perhaps too straight to the point...

I read my message again, then his, and put the phone down on the bed.

However, before I could grab my towel again, I heard a knock on the door.

I walked over to the door and opened it to find Angeal.

“Hello.”, he greeted with a smile, then looked over me. “Are you expecting someone?”

“No. I wasn't thinking of meeting the President dressed like this.”, I replied with a small smile, referring to the bathrobe I was still wearing.

“Souka. Can we talk?”

“Mm.”

I stepped away from the door for Angeal to enter and walked over to the bed.

“How's Genesis?”

“Fine. I had to force him to go to the infirmary, but he's fine.”, he replied, and I heard the door close. "There are few wounds that cauterizing can't heal.”

“Genesis didn't have to do it.”, I said and turned to face Angeal.

"He thought he could win since you were distracted.”, he explained. "It was stupid, but you know how Genesis can be sometimes.”

"Have you told him that?”, I asked, and Angeal sighed.

"I'll let him rest before I argue with Genesis.”, he muttered and crossed his arms. "But that's not why I came to talk to you.”

I looked at Angeal with a frown, an implicit question.

"How's Cloud?”, he asked.

I turned my face away and let a smile appear on my lips.

Am I that predictable?

“Fine.”, I replied.

“Hm. How far along is he?”

“…I'm not sure.”, I confessed, and Angeal disguised a smile.

"You're not sure or you don't know?”, he asked, and I sat down on the bed.

"I have an idea. “

“It's usually quite difficult to know.”, said Angeal.

"Are you saying I don't know?”

"I think you don´t know the questions you have to ask.”, he corrected.

"Do you?”, I asked with a frown.

"There are things you'd know if you mixed more with the general public.”, he said simply and I didn't answer.

"You should ask him, that's what I mean.”, he clarified and walked over to the bed to sit next to me.

"I will.”, I murmured and smiled. "Is there any other advice you'd like to give me?”

“Did you know that Zack went to Nibelheim yesterday?”

“No, I didn't.”, I said. "But I can see that you're having fun at his expense.”

Angeal laughed.

"I can't deny that it's funny to see him trying so hard not to tell me something. I think he's had to help his girlfriend fix the roof about 30 times this month alone.”

“Are you upset because the Koiinu is taking my side and not yours?”, I asked.

“Ie. That's what I expected from Zack.”, he admitted. "I just have to stop myself from laughing in front of Genesis at the answers he gives me when I ask him where he's going.”

“Zack has been keeping Cloud company. And I thank him for that.”

“Is he as introverted as you?”

I gave Angeal a sharp look, but when I thought more about what he'd said, I ended up sighing.

“Who knows? We can't all be like you. Or like Zack.”

“Honestly, I just wanted to understand what kind of person Cloud is.”, Angeal got up from the bed.

"Me too.”, I confessed, and Angeal put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Good luck. It can't be a task a hero couldn't do, can it?”

I smiled at Angeal and he walked away towards the door.

“I'm going to check on Genesis.”

“Tell him I said I hope he gets better soon.”

“He'll hate to hear that.”

“Yes, he will.”

Angeal smiled one last time before leaving the room.

I closed my eyes for a moment.

The kind of person Cloud is...

I separated my eyes when I felt my phone vibrate. I opened it and saw the message on the screen, a small smile appearing on my lips as I read the name of the person who had sent it.

I wondered if Cloud also smiled too when he saw my reply.

Maybe we're not so different...

Chapter Text

Narrator

Tifa knew something was wrong.

Not that she had that “something's wrong” feeling, she had the feeling that something was happening, discreetly, behind everyone's back.

And she also knew that Cloud Strife was in the middle of it all.

Well, the boy had practically disappeared from Nibelheim! No one had seen him for a few months. Cloud didn't have that many friends or people that asked about him. And when Tifa questioned one of the other boys if he had seen Cloud, he just said no, that he didn't know about him.

Tifa had heard some villagers ask Claudia-san the same question: "How´s your son? We haven't seen him in a while."

Claudia always gave a short, dry answer in which she didn't really answer anything.

Tifa was beginning to think that Cloud had escaped from Nibelheim. It made sense, didn't it? He wanted to join Soldier, he probably went to Midgar already.

No... he wouldn't leave without telling her, would he? They were friends... Cloud wouldn't... he wouldn't leave without even saying goodbye... he wouldn't do that!

But perhaps Tifa wasn't so sure. Cloud wanted to be a Soldier more than anything. Maybe he'd have taken advantage of the fact that Zack was so nice and that they'd got on so well and just left.

Just... packed up his things and left without saying a word.

Maybe Tifa wasn't sure, but she had to know.

And that's why the young girl was breaking into the boy's house at that very moment. It was late at night and Tifa had seen Claudia-san in the store before heading to the woman's house.

She climbed in through the window and stood for a moment looking around Cloud's room.

“Maybe I shouldn't...”, she though, biting her lower lip, then shook her head. “No, if there's something wrong with Cloud, I have to know!”

Tifa moved inside her friend's room, then, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed this long coat draped over the bed. She had only looked at it because it was impossibly long, much bigger than something Cloud would wear.

As she stood by the bed, Tifa was sure it wasn't Cloud's.  But hadn't she seen those clothes before...? Somewhere...?

Tifa reached out to touch it.

-!

But she quickly pulled her fingers back with the fright. Something was shaking on the bed!

“A telephone...?”, Tifa asked in a whisper, reached out again and picked up the metal object.

Since when did Cloud have a....?

It snapped open with a click. The bluish light illuminated Tifa's face with a faint glow.

However, the girl didn't even have to read what was on the screen. The phone shuddered again and Tifa dropped it on the bed. It landed on the covers quietly, making a low sound as it closed again.

Tifa sighed.

Maybe it was better not to touch it...

The young woman walked away to the bedroom door and out into the hallway. Cloud was in the kitchen, his back turned. Tifa could hear the sound of running water and clattering dishes.

But nothing seemed to matter at that moment, because Cloud was there, in front of her! He didn´t go away, he hadn't left for Midgar without telling her! And that was enough for Tifa to smile, the boy's name escaping her lips in a mixture of relief and joy.

“Cloud...”

The boy turned back suddenly, the sound of dishes crashing against the bottom of the sink, the water continuing to run. His blue eyes opened wide looking into the red ones. Perhaps it was because Tifa had climbed in through his bedroom window and was standing there now. Or maybe because—

Oh...

Was that what Claudia-san was trying to hide...?

Cloud was expecting a baby. It was so obvious, with his swollen stomach protruding from his slim figure, rounded under his blue shirt.

“Tifa...”, Cloud's mouth went dry. “What...what are you doing here...?”

“I-I...”, stuttered the girl, still perplexed, without taking her eyes off his friend's pregnant belly. “I was worried about you. I haven't seen you for weeks. S-so...”

She swallowed in dry and couldn't finish, Cloud's breathing shuddered before he spoke.

“Everything is fine.”, he murmured. “You don't have to worry.”

Tifa was the last person he wanted to see.

“…is that...why...you haven't been out...?”, questioned Tifa, hesitantly. “… are you trying to... hide it...?”

The young woman wasn't sure what she was really asking, her trembling lips moved slowly.

“How did this happen?”, she thought to herself, and Cloud seemed to wonder the same thing. He felt suddenly vulnerable and beyond embarrassed. It wasn't just anyone who was there, it was Tifa! God... Tifa was there, staring at him as if she'd been slapped, her eyes demanding answers.

And that's why Cloud forced himself to answer.

“Mm. Kaa-san thinks it's better. People will find out eventually. But for now...Mm.”

Cloud didn't finish, he left the sentence hanging in the air. Tifa took a step forward.

"Nee, Cloud...what's going on?”, she asked in a soft tone. “You're acting strange. And this...”

"Nothing's wrong.”, said Cloud and looked away.

“But you're expecting a baby, aren't you...?”, she asked, still very quiet, Cloud's breathing failed.

Of course he was... but hearing it from Tifa's lips was... wrong.

“Mm.”, he merely nodded in agreement and turned to close off the water.

"How... did that happen...?”, Tifa whispered.

He was young. They were so young. It didn't make sense!

“Cloud...”, Tifa took another step towards the boy when she realized he wasn't going to answer. “Tell me what's going on! You've been gone so long and now I find out you're having a baby. Nee, Cloud, tell me the truth! I thought...”

Tifa stopped suddenly and clenched her fist against her chest.

“I thought... you had left for Midgar... to become a Soldier...”

“Tifa.”, interrupted Cloud suddenly, in a louder tone that suddenly decreased in volume, still standing with his back turned, not looking at her. “I'm sorry. It looks like I won't be able to keep the promise I made you so soon.”

“Promise...?”

Tifa parted her lips, until she realized what Cloud was talking about. The promise made between them, what Tifa had asked for and what Cloud had accepted.

And the young woman felt terribly sorry for all the questions she had asked. Perhaps if it hadn't been for that, Cloud would already be in Midgar right now.

“It's not...”, Tifa parted her lips to speak, to protest against Cloud's logic, to comfort him.

But the sound of the front door opening and closing silenced her.

Mentally, she thought of all the apologies she would have to make to Claudia-san and the oaths she would swear not to say anything.

At the same time, she was angry, or perhaps desperate. She wanted to talk to Cloud more. She wanted to know what he was feeling, what was going on, what had happened. How was Cloud so calm? How come he was expecting a baby and no one in the Village knew anything about it? And who...

Footsteps brought Tifa back to reality; they were both staring at the door in silence. Tifa repeated in her head what she had to do: apologize to Claudia-san, try to talk to Cloud.

The footsteps came closer and stilled when the figure stopped at the entrance to the kitchen, Tifa's lips opened in a circle.

It wasn't Cloud's mother...

Tifa stared, perplexed, her wide red eyes fixed on the tall figure. And when her eyes met the glowing ones, pupils so thin they almost resembled those of cats, her heart skipped a beat.

Sephiroth...?

Tifa swallowed. Sephiroth had barely looked at her, only the second their eyes met, before he turned his attention to Cloud.

“I see this is a bad time.”, said the man.

“Ie.”, Cloud murmured. “Tifa... was already leaving.”

Sephiroth didn't look at Tifa before he spoke.

“I think you are still talking. I don't mind waiting.”

Cloud parted his lips, but Tifa spoke first.

“Cloud... why is he here...?”, Tifa asked, in a thin voice, Cloud looked at her. "What's Sephiroth doing in your house?”

Tifa's breathing failed, there was so much going on in her head. If it was Zack, it wouldn't be so strange. He was naturally friendly and affable, he and Cloud had gotten along super well.

But Sephiroth? Tifa was sure that he and Cloud hadn't even exchanged a single word, even though Cloud admired the hero so much.

But it was Sephiroth that Tifa was looking at that moment, in turn, it was Cloud that Sephiroth was looking at, with those greenish cat eyes.

Tifa thought about the cell phone, the long coat in the bedroom, which she already knew who it belonged to.

Sephiroth didn't answer. It wasn't a question directed at him, but the accusation clearly was.

Cloud hesitated before answering.

On one hand, Tifa was there. He didn't want her to know anything. Even if it was almost impossible now.

On the other hand, Sephiroth was there. Cloud was waiting for him, although not so soon. Kaa-san would arrive later, it would just be the two of them. Just the two of them...

But now he didn't know if he was grateful that Sephiroth was there, or if it was just another thing he didn't want to explain.

“He's here because...”, he stopped, but how could he tell her?

Tifa kept glancing between the two, at Cloud at her side, at Sephiroth at the door. She thought about his coat, his cat's eyes, they didn't even talk, his cell phone, the fact that Cloud was expecting a baby.

“Don't tell me...”, Tifa stammered, the words clawing at her dry throat. “Don't tell me that—"

“Cloud.”, the man's voice caught the attention of the two youngsters. “I'll wait outside.”

And he turned to walk away.

Cloud parted his lips to say something, but Sephiroth stopped him.

“Your mother.”

He had just spoken when the front door opened again. Seconds later, Claudia appeared in the kitchen, Sephiroth stepped aside to let her pass.

Cloud didn't know what was the worst thing happening that night.

“Good evening.”

“Good evening. You're early tonight.”, said Claudia-san.

"My work ended earlier today.”, replied Sephiroth simply, the woman walked past him.

“Souka?”

And that's when she finally saw Tifa.

The girl looked genuinely disturbed, her red eyes swollen, her lips slightly parted. Her eyes shifted from Sephiroth to Cloud's mother.

“Tifa?”, Claudia asked, frowning slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“I...”, began Tifa, struggling to answer. Everything was so confusing. Everything was so wrong. What was she going to do now...?

Without a second thought, the girl ran past everyone. She was about to crash into Sephiroth, but managed to dodge in time and get out of the door.

Claudia called for the girl, Cloud too, but Tifa was too far away to hear them.

"Why is this happening? How did this happen?", thought Tifa, as she ran through the night.

In the midst of that whirlwind of thoughts, Tifa was only certain of two things:

-Cloud was expecting a baby.

-And Sephiroth was the father.

Why else would the hero of Shinra be in peaceful Village of Nibelheim? Looking at Cloud with those strange green eyes...

Sephiroth

“I'm going to talk to Tifa.”, said Cloud.

“Ie. Tifa must need some space now.”, said Claudia, before he could even take a step forward.

“But...”

“What happened, Cloud?”, asked his mother.

“Tifa just came to see me.”, he replied. “But we barely spoke.”

“I'm sorry for entering without knocking.”, I said. “I should have warned you earlier.”

"No, I didn't... I didn't have my phone with me...”, Cloud continued to stare at the entrance where Tifa had left.

“*sigh* Someone was going to find out eventually. I'm glad it's Tifa at least.”, said Claudia and turned to me.

“Will you stay for dinner?”

“If that's all right.”

“It is.”, she muttered, and went into the kitchen.

I heard the sound of running water. For a moment, Cloud and I stood there, staring at each other.

I thought about apologizing again, and how stupid I looked doing it. Cloud slid one of his hands across his swollen stomach. It was bigger than the last time we'd met.

“Cloud.”, Claudia spoke over the noise of the water. “Why don't you go into the living room? You should sit down.”

“Mm”, he nodded and looked at me. I just nodded before he could speak.

Cloud moved on and I followed behind him. I let him sit down first and then sat down next to him, some space between us.

“Sorry...”, he murmured, his eyes on his lap, both hands resting on his stomach. “I didn't know that Tifa...”

He lowered his face. He was whispering.

“I should have told her...”

I watched Cloud out of the corner of my eye before speaking.

“Is she your friend? Tifa, I mean.”

“…sort of...”, he murmured, and it was a strange answer for someone who seemed so upset by the girl's reaction. “We've known each other forever. She lives next door.”

“Souka.”

“But still... I should have told her. Now... it's going to be harder to explain.”

He suddenly lifted his face and looked at me with big blue eyes.

"Sorry, again.”, he murmured. “You came all this way. This wasn't supposed to happen.”

“No, don't apologize. It wasn't something you could control.”, I said, and crossed my arms. “If I hadn't come in, maybe you could have resolved things more easily with her.”

“No, it's not your fault.”, he muttered, in a louder voice. He kept whispering, we were both whispering.

Even if I was apologizing, I didn't feel it. Not when I'd come to see him and he was staring at me like that with those blue eyes.

When our eyes met, he moved his away, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

“I really appreciate you coming...so...”, he murmured and slid his hands down his stomach. That simple gesture distracted me momentarily and I had to focus on what Cloud was saying.

“It's fine.”, I muttered. “You should talk to Tifa.”

He nodded.

“I don't... I won´t tell her about you.”, he said.

I looked away and a small smile appeared on my face.

“You should. I'm sure she understood.”

“I'm sorry about that.”

"If she's your friend, it won't be a problem.”, he looked at me. "Isn't that what your mother said?”

He smiled and it was hard not to smile too. It was hard, in itself, not to feel so many different things around Cloud.

Even if he clearly didn't want to unburden on me. Zack would sometimes tell me a few things, after punching me with no strength in the arm to get my attention: “Cloud won't tell you, but if you go to Nibelheim, don't bring him any food! I brought him those sweets from Midgar and... you don't want to know the rest.”

And even though Cloud still couldn't say my name.

In the silence, it was hard not to look at his pregnant belly, where my son was. In the corner of my mind, I could hear Angeal's voice, almost as if it were my conscience: “You don't know the questions you have to ask.”

I parted my lips to say something. Maybe a question, maybe a request, maybe just to say his name.

“Dinner's ready!”, Claudia announced, looking in our direction.

I kept quiet and Cloud looked at me with a smile.

I think I missed my chance to ask him...

“Are you going to tell him?”, I asked Angeal. We were on the Soldier's floor, looking into the training room where Zack was doing squats.

“Why not?”, he asked me back with a smile.

“I thought you wanted to see how long he could last...”, I said, and Angeal just crossed his arms.

“I'm starting to feel sorry for him.”, he admitted. “Yesterday he started talking about the mother of your child without meaning to. Because of a book, I think. Then he tried to disguise it by saying it was for his girlfriend.”

The mother of my child...? That sounds...

...would Cloud like that? To be called by that?

“Did Zack go to Nibelheim...?”, I interrupted, to distract myself from those thoughts.

Cloud... the oka-san of my son.

Oka-san...

“Apparently.”, Angeal looked beyond the glass. “Mah, maybe it was my fault.”

“Oh?”, I frowned. “What did you do to your Koiinu?”

“He lost this month's squat competition.”, he explained, smiling, clearly holding back a laugh.

“I didn't know that existed here.”

“Zack created it to motivate the younger boys to train seriously.”, he explained.

“And he finally lost this month?”

“After six months of consecutive wins.”, continued Angeal, as if we were talking about a really impressive achievement. “But I'm not surprised, he's barely been here between missions.”

“And you pointed that defeat out to him.”, I said.

“I may have asked him what happened...”, he said. “And maybe I showed some disappointment in him.”

“I think you've gone too far, Angeal.”, I commented.

“Maybe. And that's why I'm going to tell him”, he looked back inside the room. Zack was wiping the sweat off his face with a towel, he'd probably finished.

“You're just going to tell him that you've been fooling him all this time?”

“That's the plan.”, admitted Angeal. “Aren't you here to see it?”

“Apparently, I am.”, I replied with a smile. The door opened and Zack came out of the room.

“Oh, Angeal...”, he suddenly turned to me when he saw me. "And Sephiroth? What's going on? Has something happened?”

“Angeal has something to tell you.”, I said, in a serious tone that the smile that Angeal opened and quickly disguised was making me break.

“Huh huh.”, Angeal cleared his throat. “It's true.”

Zack's eyes switched between looking at me or at Angeal.

“Souka? And? What is it?”

“I asked Sephiroth if he knew why you've been spending so much time in Nibelheim over the last few months...”, began Angeal.

I was impressed by his ability not to laugh saying that.

“Mm...”, said Zack with his throat, his eyes fleeing to mine for a single second, almost asking me for help.

“And Sephiroth told me you have met someone there.”, Angeal crossed his arms. “Is that true?”

Zack swallowed in dry.

Saa, is he going to lie or confess?

“Mm.”, Zack agreed and scratched the back of his head nervously. “Yes. He's a friend...”

“Just a friend?”, Angeal insisted, frowning.

Angeal will never be able to—

“Yes... I mean...no.”, he looked at me again for a moment. “But it's recent...so...but I was going to tell you eventually!”

Zack's level of loyalty continued to impress me. He had sworn to Cloud that he wouldn't tell anyone. He'd sworn the same thing to me and he wasn't going to break those vows.

I realized at that moment that this wasn't another of Angeal´s jokes, he was testing Zack.

“Oh?”, Angeal pressed his arms tighter against his chest. “That's a shame...”

Zack looked confused, I was just waiting for the blow.

“What—"

“The child is Sephiroth´s, isn't it?”

I sighed and almost heard Genesis laugh as he would have done if he'd been there.

“What?!”, Zack exclaimed, looked at Angeal who started laughing, and then at me who sighed again.

“You knew!?, he yelled, I looked around Soldier's floor to make sure no one was paying attention to us. “What the hell, Angeal!”

Angeal was already laughing freely, loudly.

“You knew and you didn't tell me?!”, he asked. “I was going crazy not telling you! Oi! Angeal, are you hearing me?

“Gomen, gomen...”, said Angeal, still laughing. “When Sephiroth told me and said you knew too, I couldn't help it.”

“Come on...”, sighed Zack, exasperated. "I lied to you and you knew it... I just said I wasn't with Aerith anymore...”

“You did a good job, Zack. You didn't crack up at all. That's the kind of honor I expected from you.”

“Now you're just trying to cover it up...”, said Zack with a sigh, and scratched the back of his head before looking at me.

“Angeal asked me not to tell you that he knew.”, I said.

"As expected...”, said Zack. “You know I've been lying for you, right?”

“And for Cloud, if I'm not mistaken.”, I muttered.

“What matters…”, said Angeal, crossing his arms again. “Is that I know, Zack. So you don't have to lie when you go to Nibelheim anymore.”

“Ah, you knew that too...”, said Zack. “Sephiroth told you that too.”

“No.” Angeal gave him a few friendly pats on the back. “You're just a terrible liar. And it's very obvious when you go see Cloud.”

Then he looked at me.

"You and Sephiroth both.”

Obvious? Maybe...

It's getting harder and harder to ignore my feelings.

Narrator

It ended up being Claudia talking to Tifa. Sitting at the kitchen table, in hushed voices because Cloud was in his room, too close. The two young people crossed paths in the hallway, but avoided looking at each other, there was too much left to be said since the last time.

That's why Claudia had been the one to talk to Tifa.

Explaining to her about the pregnancy of the child he had tried to hide, about Sephiroth's involvement. Of the two Soldiers coming in and out of Nibelheim in recent months.

“Zack's helping.”, she murmured, her eyes fleeing to the door of Cloud's room.

Tifa could hardly believe what she was hearing. How? Why?

They'd been in Nibelheim for less than a week and had almost always been on watch at the reactor. Cloud hadn't spoken to Sephiroth, hadn't approached the other man.

So how were they going to have a baby together...? Tifa didn't know what to believe!

On the one hand, she knew how much Cloud adored the Shinra hero. But it was one thing to admire someone, it was quite another to... with that person...

Besides, it was terrible for Cloud! How was he going to get into Soldier now? With a baby? After giving birth?

The idea that Cloud's dream simply wasn't going to come true, that he was going to have to give it up because of...

Sephiroth...

Tifa couldn't help the hatred she felt at the mere thought of the man. How could he have done that? Of course he had taken advantage of Cloud! And yet... Sephiroth continued to go to Nibelheim, and Cloud continued to wait for him.

And that was why Tifa was there. Cloud could trust Sephiroth, but the girl wasn't so sure.

“I can't leave Cloud alone. Not now.”, she thought, when Claudia fell silent, her hands resting on her lap. "He'll need me."

Tifa thought of the almost predatory green eyes turned in Cloud's direction.

Perhaps if she had seen it earlier...

Cloud would be in Midgar now, fighting to keep his promise to her...

Sephiroth

There were weeks in a row when I couldn't go to Nibelheim, weeks when I went several days.

Trying to consolidate the work, the missions and the long journeys to Nibelheim was... arduous. If Genesis noticed that I had stopped training, he didn't rub it in my face. And Angeal never told me either.

Not that I had any right to complain or was going to. Cloud never did, even on days when the deep circles under his eyes showed that he barely slept, or when the pale color in his cheeks told me that the nausea hadn't stopped.

It continued until almost the end of my pregnancy.

The meetings with Lazard were endless. President Shinra was going on a trip to Junon and I had to accompany him. All they needed was my sword and presence, so I didn't have to concentrate on what I was doing.

I had started reading extensively about pregnancy, so that I would know what questions to ask. I had some books in my office and others in my room and I read them between assignments.

The books were more anatomical descriptions, scientific cases and medical studies than real guides, but I wouldn't have expected better from Shinra's library.

Zack lent me one. “You might want it. Courtesy of my girlfriend who says Soldiers don't know anything about this.”

Angeal also gave me one, in a sealed envelope, which he had probably bought in a store in Midgar, a privilege I didn't have.

Cloud sent me a few messages from time to time, as did I. “How are you?”. “I have a mission in Corel.” “Thanks for the money, Zack left it here today”. “I'll be late.” “Sorry about Tifa.”

Another distraction, perhaps. But Cloud had already invaded almost all my thoughts, one or two more wouldn't make any difference.

So going to Nibelheim turned out to be a breath of fresh air, where my thoughts and what was going on around me coincided.

Of course, that brought up another problem that I tried not to think about.

The fact that Cloud and I... were never left alone.

Not that I would ever think of doing anything inappropriate, but being constantly watched when I was with him left an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

Claudia didn't like me, having never said it out loud and treating me with cordiality. Sometimes this politeness didn't reach her eyes, like when I sat next to Cloud, probably too close for her.

Tifa was a different story. She didn't hide her displeasure with my presence and wouldn't speak to me. Ever since Cloud had told her, she was almost always there when I went to Nibelheim. And she let me know with a look that I wasn't welcome.

But Tifa was kind to Cloud, the way she spoke to him or approached him, especially to keep me away. The gentle tone of her words and gestures towards Cloud... it left a strange feeling in my chest that I had to ignore.

It would be worse, however, if Cloud didn't feel the same way, the attraction that pushed us towards one another. It made him sleep at night in my coat, it made me lie awake at night thinking about him.

Cloud would open the door for me, but we wouldn't go inside straight away.

He would close the door quietly. It was risky, even at night we could be seen, Cloud's house was in a central area, people in Nibelheim knew my figure.

But for those few minutes, it was just us, the huge blue eyes staring at me, intertwined with my irises.

It was almost like when Genesis, Angeal and I used to use the training room behind Class First's back to have fun. Before things became too difficult, before they fell in love with each other and I sealed my fate in Nibelheim.

We rarely spoke. Every now and then Cloud would whisper something to me, things that I was sure he had been thinking for a long time but was only now able to confess.

That he had taken my coat. That Zack's girlfriend had given him a book in which he was looking at names. That his mother told him it must be a boy.

I just nodded, sometimes he couldn't look at me when he spoke, but it didn't matter.

We were so close that his stomach rubbed against me, firm against my coat.

We never kissed, but I touched him. With my fingertips tracing his cheek, his jaw and his chin.

He was holding his breath, his skin vibrating under my fingers. I knew it was warm, even if it was my gloves touching him and not my hands. His cheeks were red, his eyes huge.

I tried not to think about that night. His young body arched under mine. His eyes and his wet voice, his parted lips calling my name...

“Cloud?”

We both heard the female voice from inside the house, calling for her son.

But he wouldn't have moved if I hadn't moved my hand away, years of discipline motivating me to act.

However, I didn't look away from Cloud, I captured his image in my mind, he parted his lips.

“Se…”

He didn't finish, he didn't say my name.

I should have kissed him.

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

“Ah... I'm just going to get some air...”, I heard Cloud say, before closing the door behind him.

Outside as well, I put down my phone and looked at him, the “Thank you” message I would send to Angeal half-finished.

Cloud took a few steps towards me.

“Is something the matter?”, I asked, and put the phone away for good. Angeal had called me a few minutes ago. I had a mission the next morning, which Angeal managed to take over, calling to tell me that he was going in my place. I thanked him on the phone, but I was going to send him a message to say it again. Not having that commitment in the morning would buy me a few hours of sleep at dawn when I got back to Midgar.

“Ie.”, he muttered. "It's nothing.”

One of his hands was resting on his lower belly, as if to help support the weight.

It was quite big now. Perhaps it seemed even bigger because of the contrast with Cloud's slim, small figure.

I parted my lips to speak, but Cloud took a step back and looked behind me, I followed his eyes to the wooden structure in the center.

“Tifa and I used to come here...”, he muttered. "We´d sit up there. At night, talking.”

Cloud took another step towards the water tank.

“Tifa is very popular. So she wanting to spend time with me...”

A small smile appeared on his face. Cloud's tone of voice was soft, almost a whisper.

He suddenly lowered his face and turned it away.

“I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm saying this...”, he muttered.

Maybe I wasn't the right person to understand what he was feeling, but Cloud rarely talked about his feelings.

“Do you want to sit there?”, I crossed my arms and looked at the wooden structure again.

Cloud hesitated for a moment. His lips opened and closed once before he answered.

“I don't think I can climb up now.”, I knew Cloud didn't like admitting weakness in front of me, it was the sole reason why he still didn't complain about anything to me even after so many months.

There were some metal ladders leading up to the top of the reservoir, clearly he couldn't climb them on his own.

“I can take you.”, I offered, and Cloud watched me, his two blue eyes shining in the night.

It occurred to me that it was the first time I'd seen him in that light. With the moon casting silver shadows over his blond hair and face.

It was dark that night... terribly dark.

I moved closer to Cloud, until it was my figure eclipsing him, like the moon in the night sky.

His pupils were dilated, and would have been completely black if there hadn't been so much blue for me to see.

I held out my hand to him, in a gesture that even I didn't recognize myself making.

“Do you trust me, Cloud?”, I asked, his name rolling off my tongue with ease, in comparison to the difficulty he had in saying mine.

Cloud hesitated for a moment, his eyes locked on mine.

But he still accepted my hand. I felt the shape of his smaller fingers brush over my palm and rest on mine. His other hand was still resting on his stomach, where my...our son lay.

I gently pulled him towards me, and almost in the same movement I picked him up.

An exclamation of surprise burst from his lips, despise how carefully I held him, one arm under his knees, the other wrapping around his back.

Cloud lifted his face and looked at me, both hands holding his belly, he was light, I barely felt the pressure of his body in my arms.

I jumped onto the wooden platform, without needing much momentum to do so.

One of Cloud's hands grabbed my jacket and he unconsciously pressed himself against me, a new exclamation of mild surprise leaving his lips.

“Ah!”

I felt the wood beneath my feet, the same one where Cloud had told me he and Tifa sat talking, before my mission to Nibelheim.

I took that from him.

Cloud still looked at me, his cheeks red, his face bathed in moonlight.

I set him down slowly on the floor. Without exchanging a word, I helped him sit on the edge, with only his feet dangling over the platform, one hand resting on his stomach.

I heard him sigh as I sat down next to him, my hand brushed into Cloud's, I pulled it away before resting it next to his.

The stars shone in the dark sky above our heads.

I turned my eyes from the sky to him. There was a small smile on Cloud's face. I imagined he should be bored, after so much time spend at home, unable to leave, so as not to be seen.

He took a deep breath and pushed his head back. The hand furthest from me was on his belly, moving slowly in circles.

I swallowed, and couldn't force myself to look away, as I had been able to do in the previous months.

The child under his hand was moving, making the surface of Cloud's belly quiver.

So close...

In my mind, I traced the curve of his belly with my fingers, without gloves. Underneath his shirt, touching the warm, bare skin, feeling the flesh, the movement of the child against the womb that protected it.

But I kept trying not to touch him. Honestly, a single moment of lack of control had marked Cloud deeply, and the only thing he had given me then were his eyes.

Cloud lifted his face and looked at me, and I immediately moved my eyes to his.

He smiled at me. Genuinely. Tenderly. I didn't think I'd ever seen him smile like that.

My chest shuddered, his blue eyes were still locked on mine.

“Thank you...”, he murmured simply.

My lips parted involuntarily.

For what? Why are you thanking me?

I felt his fingers brush mine again, and this time I put my hand over his.

Cloud looked at me for a second, but surprise quickly gave way to...is he happy...?

I felt the smaller hand under my one. The message to Angeal had been forgotten, as had the fact that I was supposed to leave.

And as had the dark sky of Nibelheim shining over our heads...

“Sephiroth.”, Angeal pushed open my office door without knocking. I barely had time to lift my eyes from my work to look at him.

"Catch.”, he raised his arm and threw something at me, still at the door, across the room.

I raised my hand and caught the object he threw, lowering it to my eye level.

Is it a... chocobo? No, a stuffed animal?

I frowned and looked at Angeal, who was still at the door.

"Zack told me that Cloud reminds him of a chocobo.”, he said, before I could say anything. “It's for your son.”

I looked at the doll, then at Angeal, and he smiled at me one last time.

“Give it to him for me.”

And he left my office.

“Oh, it really moved!”, exclaimed Zack, his hand resting on Cloud's swollen belly.

"It's normal.”, replied Cloud, his cheeks slightly pink. "It would be worrying if he just stopped suddenly.”

“Still...”, said Zack. “It must have been really weird at first, no?”

“It was.”, Cloud murmured.

“Ohh, it makes sense why you can't sleep sometimes... With him moving around all night.”, said Zack, his eyes fixed on Cloud's belly, which was visibly shuddering , even though it was covered by his shirt.

I watched them from one of the chairs at the kitchen table, they were sitting side by side on the sofa.

“You're probably cramped in there too, aren't you?”, Zack continued.

I smiled discreetly and crossed my legs. Koiinu acting as his name suggests...

“Hum...”, Cloud agreed and shifted on the sofa, a sigh leaving his lips. “Really tight.”

In less than a month, Cloud's belly had grown a lot, the fetus developing normally.

In the books I'd read, the changes in the last month weren't so visible. But probably none had been based on someone as young as Cloud.

With all my mistakes, that one no longer crossed my mind.

“And? And?”, Zack looked at Cloud, then at me. “Did you think of names?”

He sent me a list weeks ago. A message with several names. I knew that Cloud was getting ideas from a book, and that his mother was insisting that he choose one as soon as he could.

A child can't be born without a name...even if I don't know where mine came from, or why my mother gave it to me. And I may know her name, but that doesn't help me choose one myself.

Naming someone was harder than it looked...

I wrote them down on a sheet of paper and focused more on it for a few days than on any mission. Sleepless nights thinking about names.

Whatever the first name was, it would be followed by Cloud's surname, I had none to give.

Faced with my silence, it was he who ended up proposing “Hope”.

It was in the message he had originally sent me, maybe I just hadn't paid enough attention.

Hope...is it?

It was what had brought us together after all. What had brought us there. Maybe what would get us further.

I wanted to laugh thinking that Genesis would love the name, since it sounded like something out of Loveless.

It was still too early for him to know...

Zack kept looking at me, and now Cloud too, waiting for me to answer.

“Hope.”

“Hope? That's a cool name.”, said Zack, and Cloud smiled at him.

The front door opened and closed. Seconds later, Claudia-san was entering the kitchen.

“Oh, you're early today.”, she greeted.

“Good afternoon, Claudia-san.”, said Zack.

“Good afternoon.”

“Hello, Kaasan.”

I didn't expect her to come towards me and not to her son.

“I needed to talk to you.”, she murmured simply.

I nodded and I got up from my chair.

"What's going on?”, Cloud asked, his mother didn't answer and I kept the same silence as I followed her into another room.

“Nee, nee, it's probably nothing.”, said Zack, and I mentally thanked him for it.

In a room that must have been the storage room, to the left of the door that led to Cloud's room, Claudia stopped, without even closing the door, and started talking.

“The child is almost here.”, she whispered.

She's going to ask me to step away.

“As the father, you have every right to see him... but I want to know what you intend to do when he's born.”, she said, her face raised.

What do I intend to do?

“You want me to stay away, is that what this is about?”

“I'm not going to deprive a child of his father.”, she muttered. “But I imagine someone so important doesn't have time for that.”

Is Shinra going to take that away from me too...?

I couldn't leave Soldier, if I did they'd follow me to Nibelheim. I could take Cloud with me to Midgar: a house with false names, no one would have to know.

“I can take them with me.”, I said.

“To be alone in Midgar?”, she murmured, it wasn't a critic or an insult.

Even Claudia realized that taking Cloud with me would condemn him to being alone. The other opinion was worst. Shinra wouldn't leave them alone, the media would stalk them.

If the opinion is taking Cloud and my son in Midgar, they might as well be safer in Nibelheim.

“I'm going to help Cloud raise my grandson...”, she continued. "We'll be fine about gil, we don't need the money.”

“Are you telling me not to come back?”, I asked, and crossed my arms.

“I just want what's best for Cloud.”, she said.

What's best...?

“I don't intend to abandon Cloud or my son.”, I said. "But I admit that they should stay in Nibelheim. At least for now.”

I'll have to change that. Shinra can't have me forever.

Not when I have something to protect now.

A small smile appeared on Claudia's face.

“I'm sure Cloud will appreciate that...”

“Excuse me.”, Lazard stopped talking in the middle of what he was saying. I got up from the table, under the gaze of Angeal and Genesis.

I left the room and answered the phone. Cloud had never called me and I had a bad feeling about it.

"Sephiroth...”, his voice sounded before I could say anything, and I held the phone closer to my face.

“Cloud.”, I whispered. “Is something the matter?”

I heard him swallow.

“Cloud?”, I called again.

“Sorry to bother you... you must be busy...”

“I'm not.”, I said. “What's going on?”

"I...”, he took a deep breath. "I started having contractions... so... I just wanted you to know...”

He took another deep breath and didn't finish.

“Is the baby coming?”

“Mm.”

“I'm leaving Midgar now.”, I said, and hurried down the corridor towards the elevator.

“No, you don't have...”

“I'm going.”, I interrupted, the elevator opened as I pressed the button. Zack was about to get out of the elevator, but I bumped into him to get in. “Is Claudia with you?”

“Oi—", Zack was suddenly silent. “What's going on?”

“It´s… I have to go...”, replied Cloud and hung up without another word, the elevator door closed.

“Was that Cloud?”, Zack asked immediately, I swiped my card on the sensor and clicked on the button that led to the roof.

“Don't tell me?!”

“Mm.”, I didn't even have to answer.

“What's the plan?”, Zack asked. "I'm coming with you!”

“Use the helicopter on the roof and go to Nibelheim.”, I said.

“Isn´t that floor—?”

“Do you have a better idea?”, I asked, the elevator going up and the ever-increasing numbers lighting up didn't help to ease my thoughts.

My son... is going to be born...

“The Turks were there.”, interrupted Zack. "They're going out on a mission now.”

I frowned in his direction.

"How do you know?”

“I... know one of them... who told me about it.”

“It's not like I have time to wait for the next one.”, I said. “If they're still there, they'll be the ones to take us to Nibelheim.”

“Yes, they won't disobey you. And I can talk to the Cissnei. So they understand.”

The elevator door finally opened. I still had the phone in my hand, I was squeezing it between my fingers.

I'll be there...Cloud...

...

...

...

I heard Zack shout my name, his voice distorted by the noise of the wind. I barely remember jumping out of the moving helicopter, we were close enough to Nibelheim.

I don't remember going through the forest or the city to Cloud's home.

I opened the door with a push and entered the house, Zack followed in my footsteps and closed the door.

He had followed me, even after trying to stop me.

The house was dark, silent. I walked down the corridor and distinguished the muffled voices of Cloud and his mother.

Zack said something behind me that I didn't pay attention to, I walked through the kitchen to the bedroom and pushed open the door.

Claudia turned her face towards me, she was sitting on the edge of Cloud's bed. I advanced into the room, Zack behind me, the woman stood up, but my eyes immediately went to Cloud.

He was lying on the bed, his face slightly red, his blond hair spilled over the pillows. One of his hands was resting on his stomach, his fingers clutching the thin white sheet that covered it.

His stomach was visibly contracting, the surface distorting with the child's movements below. It had moved to a lower position on his body, looming larger between his hips.

His blue eyes opened wider when he saw me and his other hand went to the headboard, which he grabbed to try and raise his back and lean it against the bed.

“Cloud.”, I knelt beside the bed.

“Se...”, his eyes closed, he pushed his head back, clenching his hands tighter as another contraction passed through him. He spread his legs wider in an involuntary movement, his stomach spasming again.

A moan sounded through his lips, the pain lasting only a few moments. From Cloud's heavy breathing, that was but one of many.

I did this to him...

“When did it start...?”, I heard Zack ask behind me.

“The contractions didn't start until the afternoon, but Cloud hadn't seemed right since this morning.”, Claudia murmured.

His blue eyes opened to look at me and his body relaxed on the bed.

I put my hand over his, over the one resting on his swollen stomach.

“I'm here, Cloud...”, I whispered, and he smiled.

“Se... you...”, he murmured, in a low voice, probably not believing that I would arrive in time.

He laced his fingers through mine.

“You should leave. Wait outside.”, Claudia murmured.

“Mm...”, replied Zack. “It's still going to take a long time, isn't it?

“It's hard to tell.”

Cloud looked tired, his blue eyes slightly puffy, his lips wet with saliva.

I thought about apologizing, for the pain he was in, the one I had caused, though it seemed pointless.

But I must have let my face convey that guilt, because I felt Cloud's other hand touch my face, with small, gentle fingers.

“It's fine...”, he murmured, and I wondered if he wasn't just putting on a strong front again. “I can do it...”

I looked at Cloud, our irises crossed and I nodded.

“Nee, Sephiroth. Let's go? Claudia-san told us to wait outside.”, mumbled Zack behind me.

Cloud took a deep breath and squeezed my fingers tighter for a moment.

Maybe it was the adrenaline, which I barely felt on the battlefield anymore. Maybe it was Cloud's soft breathing, his blue eyes locked on mine.

Or maybe it was that he was going to give birth to my son, right there, in that room, in Nibelheim.

And I would no longer be alone...

Whatever prompted it, I leaned my face over Cloud's and kissed him.

It was a simple touch of lips, but I closed my eyes and Cloud did the same.

I got up from the position where I had been kneeling by the bed until then.

“Good luck.”, said Zack to Cloud, in a livelier tone. “Call us if you need anything.”

“Mm...”, muttered Cloud, Zack left the room, I went out after him and closed the door, he sighed.

“Now all we can do is wait...”

...

...

...

I leaned back on the sofa and kept my eyes closed. Time continued to pass, slowly, the night getting darker and darker.

If I was trying to stay still and silent, with my legs and arms crossed, Zack was using a completely different strategy.

“34...35...”, he continued, and I opened my eyes to see him doing squats as he counted them.

“43...44...”

“Does that help?”, I asked.

“No... but... it… keeps me busy...”, he said, between exercises. “It's better than— “

“Argh!”

I opened my eyes wide and Zack suddenly stopped and turned back towards the bedroom.

We could hear Cloud's muffled voice from there, in faint moans, but that one sounded much sharper.

Zack looked at me, then at the door and kept silent. I pulled my arms tighter against my chest.

A few hours had passed. The door was still closed, the only thing we could do was wait.

How did I agree to this? That Cloud would give birth here, without any medical care, just with his mother's help. Claudia suggested calling a midwife from the Village, but that meant I couldn't be in Nibelheim. Cloud refused. He refused and I consented.

I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have agreed. The secrecy of our relationship didn't matter compared to this. I should have taken Cloud to Midgar, where any complications could be easily resolved. The odds were against us, Cloud was young, small, and yet I did nothing.

If I knew more about my own mother, these things would be easier. Some complications could be hereditary, knowing about her could perhaps be important now.

I buried my hands further into my arms.

No, this is ridiculous. Cloud is trying hard and I'm doubting him? But it´s almost possible to avoid it. I never knew my mother, if something happened to Cloud...

Zack dropped onto the sofa next to me and sighed.

“Cloud will manage...”, he murmured simply, and I looked away from him. “He wants to get into Soldier, and after all these months, he must be really strong, no?”

My lips sealed into a line and I didn't answer.

Cloud's voice sounded louder again.

And we continued to wait.

It was almost dawn.

Zack had started doing squats again, but had stopped when Cloud started moaning loudly, at a steady pace that the thin walls didn't muffle at all.

It was nothing compared to what he had to do. Waiting. Even with my eyes closed, I could see Cloud's stomach contracting violently, the child he had to give birth to squirming inside his womb.

Then his voice became slurred, more like a weak cry. Zack beside me had started rubbing his hands together nervously, bent forward.

“Shit...”, he cursed. “Isn't there anything we can do?”

He wasn't asking me and there was no one to answer.

“Control yourself.”, I said simply.

"I know...”, he said through his teeth. “But this waiting... not being able to do anything...”

He clenched his hands tighter.

“Come on... Cloud... hang in there...”

Another hour passed and the first rays of light began to come through the windows into the house, which had been deep in darkness until then. Zack, who I thought had fallen asleep, lifted his face to the light and blinked a few times.

Suddenly, Cloud's voice ceased. It was so sudden that it made me rise from the sofa, waiting... listening.

Zack parted his lips, but didn't speak.

A new voice echoed. A child... it was a child's cry...

I moved towards the bedroom and would have pushed the door open if it hadn't been opened first. Claudia-san was on the other side. She looked tired, her hair dishevelled and her apron stained with blood.

She didn't speak, just stepped aside to let me pass. I moved slowly towards the bed.

Cloud was lying there, the sheet that had covered him before was pulled up to his ankles, his legs apart, the inside of his thighs stained with blood.

His belly was flat now, still quivering, the skin marked red and swollen.

The shirt he was wearing had been pulled completely up, his chest exposed.

The baby was on his chest, pressed against his skin, its little lips closed around a nipple. His face was hidden, but I could easily make out the strands of silver hair.

“Sephiroth...”, the voice was so faint that I barely heard it, I raised my eyes to Cloud's face.

His eyes were deep, stained with tears. His blond hair was stuck to his face with sweat. He was so weak that he couldn't even smile, his lips folded in softly, his chest rising and falling slowly.

I sat on the bed next to him, the mattress shuddering under my weight, Cloud's eyes lowered to the child on his chest.

There, in Cloud's arms, our son, alive, breathing. A son I couldn't have. I won't be alone anymore. He won't ever be alone.

The baby turned his face away and slowly opened his eyes.

Green, like materia, his pupils were round instead of vertical.

“Hope...”, I muttered, taking off one of my gloves with the other hand and letting it fall to the ground. I lightly brushed my thumb across his small cheek. The skin was still warm from the womb, and it was soft.

“There´s still the placenta, Cloud.”, Claudia murmured. “Then you can rest.”

Cloud sighed and looked impossibly tired, he moved his face to the side to look at our son, then his eyes shifted to me.

“Can I?”, I asked.

“Mm...”, he murmured, and I leaned over and held out my arms.

“Be careful with his head.”, Claudia warned me from the other side of the bed, wiping the sweat from Cloud's forehead with a cloth. “One last effort.”

I gently took the child from his chest and held him, his head resting on my forearm, my other hand supporting his body.

It was so light that I hardly felt its weight. It was like holding a heart in my hands, warm and beating, so fragile that I wondered if it would break.

His green eyes were staring at me, his fists clenched around nothing.

Cloud groaned, a weak sound that made me look at him. His stomach contracted one last time, the placenta and blood sliding onto the sheets under his legs.

He lay on the bed, gasping for air, his eyes, which had been closed from the effort, were tear-stained again and set on Hope in my arms.

He smiled, even though he was tired. Claudia-san came around the bed and walked over to me, stretching her arms out towards me, but I didn't react.

“I'm just going to clean him.”, she explained. “And then he should sleep here with Cloud.”

“Congratulations.”, said Zack, who had finally entered the room, his hand resting on my shoulder. “Is it a boy?”

“Mm.”, I nodded and let Claudia take my son from my arms.

Zack knelt at the foot of the bed.

"Well done.”, he murmured, pushing back the hair that was sticking to Cloud's forehead. “I told you could do it.”

“Mm...”, Cloud murmured, his heavy eyelids beginning to close.

Zack stepped aside for Claudia to approach and place Hope on Cloud's chest. He used his arm to squeeze him gently against himself and visibly relaxed.

He turned his face towards me, his half-lidded, tired eyes meeting mine, his lips moving slowly.

“Thank you...”

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

4 hours after the Birth

“Aerith? Hum...yes, yes.Yeah, it's a boy. His name is Hope. Cute, isn't it?”, Zack was pacing around the room, his phone pressed against his ear. "Yeah, we'll be back soon. I'll call you when I get there. Hmm. Uh-huh. Roger that. Cloud? He is fine, yeah. Yeah. I'll tell him. See you in a bit.”

He hung up the phone and stretched, raising his arms above his head.

I opened my own cell phone, ignored the messages and missed calls and was about to close it again, when the new call made it vibrate.

I was forced to answer.

“Sephiroth—"

“Director Lazard.”

“Can you explain to me where you are?”, his voice showed clear irritation “I have the vice-president here with me. You were supposed to be here two hours ago. “

“I apologize for my lack of communication.”, I began. "I won't be able to make it.”

“What—"

“I'm sure someone else can take my place.”, I finished, Zack was looking at me now.

“Did something happen?”, Lazard's voice became lower, the vice-president must be in the same room as him.

“Ie.”, I said simply, and a second of silence followed before he answered.

“Mm. Understood. I'll find someone else to replace you.”, he said.

“Excuse me.”

And I disconnected the call.

"You really do have privileges, don't you? “, Zack asked through clenched teeth. "You can just refuse the Director like that.”

“I's the first time I've ever done that.”, I said, and put the phone away.

"Still...”, he muttered and looked towards the front door. "We have to go back.”

“Mm.”, I agreed and glanced towards Cloud's room.

"Go say goodbye.”, he encouraged me. "I'll see if there's a Shinra plane nearby that can take us to Midgar.”

For a second, I stared at Zack. The thank you was forgotten as I walked away towards Cloud's room.

I opened the door slowly and expected to find him asleep, but the blue eyes that turned in my direction told me that he was fully awake.

Lying on the bed, looking less tired, the sheets were still dirty underneath, but the one that covered him was now clean.

I entered the room and closed the door behind me. His blue eyes shifted to the baby at his breast, drinking his milk.

I kept in silent as I moved closer to the bed. His blonde hair was still undone, but his face was no longer wet.

Perhaps the word I was looking for was that he looked beautiful, even after the effort and the prolonged pain, with our son in his arms.

Our son...

“I have to get back to Midgar.”, I muttered.

“Mm... of course...”, he murmured.

"I'll try to get back as soon as I can.”, I continued. "Please call me if you need anything.”

I knelt by the bed, my eyes moving almost immediately to Hope. So small on Cloud's chest, his skin almost translucent, his hair silver. Even his closed eyes were similar to mine, almost identical.

"I'm sorry.”, I whispered, not sure to who I should apologize to. "Shinra's going to ask questions if I disappear for so long without justification.”

“I understand.”, he murmured. "I knowyou have to. Thank you... for being here...”

He was about to stand up, I saw him contract his stomach muscles to raise his back, but my hand on his chest stopped him.

“Don't move.”, my voice was a whisper. “You need to rest. Hope needs you. I'm sorry I can't stay.”

“No... it's fine...”, he murmured, and I wondered why it was he who had just given birth who was comforting me. "It's okay...Sephiroth...”

My chest shuddered when he called my name. I don't know how I managed to get up from the floor, how I managed to move to leave them.

But I did it. I stood up. I looked at Cloud, and then at Hope.

“Goodbye.”, I muttered, but he just kept staring at me in silence, his lips slightly curved in a smile that I knew wasn't real.

But I preferred that he didn't answer me. The weight of my words was already too strong.

The two of us saying goodbye... it would be too much...

Narrator

Lazard hung up the phone with a sigh and put it away. He had moved away to a corner of the room to make that call that had resulted in nothing, then returned to the center of the room.

Contrary to what Sephiroth thought, it wasn't vice-president Shinra that was with the Director, but Tseng.

"I'm really sorry.”, began Lazard. “There's been an emergency and Sephiroth won't be able to attend here.”

“That's not a problem. The Turks can take over from here.”, said Tseng, Lazard crossed his arms.

"Yes, thank you for that. Even so, I'm really sorry for the wait.”

“The mission can begin and that's what matters, Director Lazard. With your permission, we will escort the vice-president.”

“As the Director, I authorize the transfer of powers.”, said Lazard and added with an elegant nod. "And thank you, on behalf of Soldier.”

“Thanks aren't necessary. It's our job.”, said Tseng, almost dryly, then grabbed the phone to call Rude and tell him to get the helicopter ready, something that would already be done if there hadn´t been all that insistence to bring along the Soldier´s hero.

Two hours later, the mission could finally begin, even without Sephiroth.

“Reno.”, called Tseng, to a side door in the room where they were waiting, the cell phone only rang once before Rude answered. “Can you…”

Reno appeared from the other room, his short hair in disarray, his face slightly red. The boy wet his lips as he straightened the crumpled collar of his black jacket. Vice President Rufus Shinra came out behind him, his hair also messy, fastening the buttons of the formal jacket he was wearing, his haute couture suit was of an impeccable white.

It was a special occasion, after all, as he was finally meeting the President.

Reno's expression was normal, almost bored, which didn't match his somewhat dishevelled look. Rufus, on the other hand, was losing the battle with the smug little smile that kept crawling to his lips.

"We're ready to go.”, said Tseng. "We apologize for this delay, Vice President Rufus.”

"Ie, there´s no problem.”, Rufus replied. “I was fully entertained.”

Tseng didn't even blink at the comment.

"Then, please accompany me.”, he said, and headed out of the room. Lazard made a respectful reference in the direction of Rufus, who left without even looking at him.

“Good work.”, said Reno, and Lazard couldn't tell if he was serious or joking.

But personally, the Director didn't have much interest in a person who had spent the last two hours with Rufus Shinra in a room, “entertaining” him.

The Turks were known for doing everything for the sake of the mission. But that...

“Pathetic...”

Sephiroth

I was walking towards the meeting room on Soldier's floor. Zack had told me he had to do something and disappeared.

I saw Angeal, coming out of the room I had to enter. His eyes opened wider and he smiled, before starting to move in my direction.

We stopped a few centimeters away. I knew what he was going to ask me. There were other soldiers on the floor, looking at us discreetly.

“And?”, he asked, his lips moving slowly, but his low tone of voice didn't hide a certain emotion.

"He was born at dawn.”, I murmured, without looking at Angeal. "He's fine. Cloud too.”

“Is it a girl?”

“No, a boy. We called him Hope.”, Angeal smiled and looked me in the eye.

“Congratulations. Really. I'm happy for you. Genesis would be too, if he knew.”

“There's too much at stake.”

“Mm. I know.”, he smiled again. "Anyway, we have to celebrate.”

“I'm going back to Nibelheim tonight.”

“How long has it been since you slept?”, he asked.

"It doesn't matter. Did the Director say anything?”

“Not to me.”, he replied. "The Turks have taken over the mission, apparently.”

“Souka... I'm going to talk to him now.”

“Mm. Good luck.”

“Thank you.”, I was about to kept moving, but Angeal stood in front of me again.

“And, Sephiroth?”

I looked at him.

“Ask me for help if you need it. They'll need you in Nibelheim. But Shinra will notice if you start disappearing too much.”

“For which case should I ask for your help?”, I asked, with a small smile. I was pretty sure that Director Lazard had actually said something to him.

“I'm not very good with children, but it's never too late to learn.”, he replied. “I don't think they are any worse than some class third.”

I smiled again.

“Thank you.”, I murmured, simply. “I want you to meet them. One day.”

“Yes. I would like that too.”

Narrator

“Owww, kawaii...”, said Tifa, leaning over the cradle Hope was in, his little green eyes staring at Tifa.

“He's so small...”, murmured the girl, her loving red eyes fixed on the baby. “I can't believe he came out of you.”

“Neither can I.”, Cloud murmured, Tifa looked so happy, hovering over Hope, smiling at him and tilting her head to one side and the other, trying to get a reaction out of the newborn.

Then, still bent forward, she looked at Cloud who was standing next to her.

“What about you? Are you sure you should be standing so soon?”

“Mm? Yes, I'm fine.”

“I’m glad...”, Tifa smiled at him and turned her attention to Hope again, sliding her fingers slowly over his small face. “He looks just like... Sephiroth...”

The similarities were undeniable. From the skin tone, to the hair, and even the eyes. But the features were too young to be really distinguishable.

“Except the eyes...”, she continued. "They're much more like yours. They're less...”

“...scary.”, completed Tifa to herself, unable to say it out loud.

“Do you think so?”, Cloud asked and stood next to Tifa, Hope's eyes going almost immediately to his mother. “Mine are more blue.”

“Hum. That's what I think.”, Tifa murmured and leaned back towards Cloud, who had leaned over the crib to get a better look at Hope.

"Has he... come to see you...?”, Tifa asked.

"Yes. He was here yesterday.”, said Cloud.

“Souka...”

Tifa sat down on the bed next to the crib and looked around her friend's room.

"Did they do it here…?”

“And... do you know what you're going to do now...?”, asked Tifa to distract herself from those thoughts.

“I'm not sure.”, replied Cloud. “I have to get out. I won't be able to hide Hope forever, there's no point in trying to keep him a secret.”

“Get out...?”, Tifa asked.

“To do something in the Village. Anything.”

“Mm...”, it made sense to Tifa, Cloud never liked sitting still for too long. “What about Hope?”

Cloud took the baby out of the cradle. Tifa thought they looked sweet together.

“What about Hope?”

“Isn't Sephiroth going to help you?”, she asked. "I mean... raising him...? Is he just going to leave you with him and come here every now and then?”

"He's a First Class Soldier, it's not like he can be here all the time.”, defended Cloud.

"Still... it's his son too!”, Tifa retorted. “He should have thought of that before...”

“It was an accident.”, said Cloud and looked away. That was definitely a shameful thing to discuss with Tifa.

"It’s the same.”, she insisted. “It's not just your responsibility! You wanted to join Soldier. It's unfair that you have to put your dreams on hold while he—"

“Tifa.”, interrupted Cloud, his low tone making her realize that she had raised her voice too much. Her eyes shifted to Hope in Cloud's arms, who didn't seem to mind the volume.

Then her red eyes met his blue ones.

“He needs me, Tifa.”

And the girl wasn't sure who he meant. The father, or the son...

Cloud cradled his son to his chest again. The baby's body was snuggled against his torso, wrapped in a white blanket that kept him safe and warm on his chest, so that Cloud could use both hands. Still, that didn't stop him from having to tuck him in from time to time, if only to keep his hands busy.

Hope's eyes were slightly open, barely visible due to the constant lulling of Cloud's movements.

“That's Claudia's son, isn't it?”, one woman whispered to another.

“Yes, he is.”, answered the other, also in a muffled voice and eyes wide with surprise, both looking in the boy's direction.

“I haven't seen him for a while. I didn't know—"

“Mm. Neither did I...”

Hope made a soft sound, Cloud looked down and smiled, then continued what he was doing, feeding the chickens.

“That must be why Claudia didn't say anything.”, murmured the first woman.

“My son told me he thought he'd gone to Midgar.”

“Midgar? Maybe he went. Maybe he's back.”

The clothes that one of the women was supposed to be hanging up were forgotten in the basket.

“But it's sad. He's so young. How old is your son?”

“The same age. He's just a child. Poor kid. And the baby looks so tiny.”

“Maybe we should stop by Claudia's later, no? Ask if they need anything.”

“You're being too naive.”, a third woman joined the conversation. "Even if he's a kid, those that make children have to take care of them.”

“But, Nee-san—", one of the women, the sister of the lady that spoke last, tried to interrupt, to no avail.

“There are no “buts”. I don't know how Claudia didn't stop this. A child having a child? And where is the father? No man stays in that house.”

“Nee-san! What a horrible thing to say!”

“And it's a lie?”

“Poor family.”, mumbled the other woman, with genuine sympathy. "Let's pray none of this affects that baby.”

“Yes... let's pray...”

Cloud wasn't stupid enough to think that those women weren't talking badly about him, even if he couldn't fully hear them.

The boy wiped his hands on his pants to clean off what was left of the chicken feed.

Hope opened his eyes wider to look at his mother. His eyes were extremely green, which contrasted even more with his pale face and the strands of silver hair.

Hope had so much of Sephiroth that Cloud sometimes couldn't help but simply stare at him. Like now, when the baby was snuggled up against him, hidden among the white fabric.

Having that, what did it matter what those women were saying?

Sephiroth

Lazard didn't say anything to me. Not a comment, not a question. The matter died there without anyone else touching it.

If I used to find it hard to concentrate on work and missions, now it was even harder to focus.

They were constantly in my thoughts, as I imagined was perhaps normal.

That I couldn't stop thinking about Cloud had become common, but Hope...

Perhaps because I knew nothing about my father, and only knew my mother's name... family was something I didn't understand because I didn't have one, the strange concepts of blood ties, of children and of fathers and mothers.

But now I had a child in Nibelheim, and I was beginning to understand what never had a meaning.

I tried to go there as often as I could between missions and once I finished them. The truth is that I was constantly being assigned to Junon, which was still far away.

Too far away…

I wasted nights moving from place to place, but Cloud sometimes didn't sleep either, so it seemed a fair price to pay.

Not that it really mattered. I had to be there. I wanted to be there.

When I returned, after a few days, Cloud was moving freely and seemed fine. (Eh? But shouldn't you at least be sitting down?”, was one of the questions Zack had asked him), although in all honesty, even if he seemed fine at the first sight, we barely looked at each other.

I was able to hold Hope again, under Claudia's watchful eye. It wasn't a type of training we had at Soldier, dealing with newborns. But after watching Cloud learn, with his mother correcting him several times, it wasn't hard to see what he was doing.

His white skin was warm to the touch and soft. I couldn't help thinking how small he was, how fragile he looked.

His silver hair was the same as mine, his green eyes that I barely saw the first time, would now open and stare at me. Unless it was Cloud that was next to me, then that’s who he would look at.

Green eyes without Mako, they weren't as bright as mine, they were more like Cloud's.

The ridiculousness of the situation, I should have been sterile but that child was so similar to me that it bothered me.

He should be blond or have blue eyes, anything that would bring him closer to Cloud and away from me.

There was, however, nothing I could do. Just make sure that Hope stayed in Nibelheim, away from the people who could connect him to me.

Hope would look at Cloud and sometimes complain if he stayed away from him too long. I thought it was normal, he needed his Oka-san more than he needed anyone else.

Cloud breastfed him in front of me once and didn't look at me again for the rest of afternoon. I should have told him that there was no reason to be embarrassed, but only later did I realized that that was the reason, and not something I had done.

The nights I didn't sleep didn't compare to the nights he didn't sleep. It wasn't hard to see that Cloud was tired, even though he never openly complained to me. I had to ask Zack, he just told me that Hope rarely slept at night.

I went back a few days later. Cloud fell asleep against my shoulder while I held Hope.

I didn't move, he clearly needed it. And it wasn't unpleasant to see Cloud so vulnerable, letting me see him, even if it was motivated by tiredness.

He slept for three hours straight, leaning against me and then clinging to my arm. I didn't have the heart to wake him and neither did Hope, so we just sat in silence, me switching between looking at my son and at Cloud beside me.

I didn't leave Nibelheim until too late that day and had to call Angeal at dawn to ask him to take care of the mission I had the next day, he agreed.

I received two messages that night, one from Cloud apologizing, one from Angeal telling me to text him and not to call, because he was with Genesis.

I didn't reply to Cloud until hours later, telling him everything was fine. I told Angeal I was sorry and decided not to question what he and Genesis were doing together at four in the morning.

There was an important Shinra dinner. Department directors, senior figures and even the president. My presence was as important as that of the other Soldier members and the Turks. They didn't need us. And there I was wasting my time, keeping my eyes on the President talking to an inebriated Scarlett, or paying attention to the Shinra vice-president being too friendly with a Turk.

Cloud was in his pajamas spending a sleepless night with my son and I was in a suit at a party that meant nothing to me.

Two days later, another meeting and a press conference. That the war with Wutai was not imminent, that our presence in Junon was not because of the cannon.

I'd rather be listening to Loveless than standing there and letting myself be photographed. All their eyes on me.

I didn't want those eyes on my son.

I was, however, going to see the photos. In a magazine, at Cloud's house.

Whether Zack had brought it or whether Cloud didn't want me to find out, I didn't know.

But I did know that I wanted them away from Midgar. Cloud, Hope, away from everyone who might try to use them, the photographers, the scientists, Shinra.

And in the end...

Away from me.

Narrator

“See?”, asked Zack, pointing to the page in the magazine he was holding. He was standing up, leaning forward so that the magazine was at his friend's eye level.

“Hum. It's you.”, said Cloud with a smile, Zack was showing him a picture in which he appeared with other Soldiers, Classes second and third.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

“Mm.”, agreed Cloud with a smile, and switched Hope to his left side, breastfeeding him from that side. He couldn't be embarrassed doing that in front of Zack anymore, not after everything his friend had seen and heard and insisted to be there for.

“Isn't it? It's the first time I've appeared in an official publication talking about Soldier. There are rarely photos and events like this. But this time, they hired a photographer and all. I'm not sure what their goal was, but the point is that I showed up. Zack Fair, Class First.”

“That's really good, Zack.”, said Cloud and Zack gave him the magazine, smiling even more proudly.

“Thanks. Aerith told me not to let greatness go to my head.”

Cloud left the magazine on his lap and began flipping through the pages with one hand.

“Maybe it’s for advertisement. To attract more people to Soldier, I mean, rarely some of us appear like this, apart from Sephiroth. But he—"

Cloud had stopped flipping through the pages.

“You're looking for him, aren't you?”

“Hum?”

“Sephiroth. You're looking for his photos, aren't you?”

"He's the face of Soldier.”, said Cloud, and stopped at one of the pages.

"You... seriously.”

Cloud looked at the pages; on one page, Sephiroth was wearing a suit, at some fancy event. His expression was neutral, impossible to read, but his posture and figure reflected an undeniable elegance.

On the other page, he was already wearing his regular uniform, but he had the same expression on his face, surrounded by silver hair.

The Hero Sephiroth.

“Amazing...”, he whispered and moved his hand away for a moment to cradle Hope to his chest.

"Cloud, do you realize he was here? Like, yesterday?”

Cloud looked at Zack.

“And that... you have a baby together?”

“Sometimes I still find it hard to believe...”

“Come on, man. Sephiroth doesn't need more people feeding his ego.”

“I'm not... feeding his ego.”, Cloud defended himself.

Zack let himself fall onto the sofa, next to Cloud.

“What I mean is... you know what? Never mind. I don't think what I say will change the way you think.”

Cloud turned another page. Hope had fallen asleep on his chest, milk dripping from his half-open lips. Zack smiled.

“Do you want me to hold him?”

“Oh...”

Cloud put down the magazine to hold Hope.

“Sorry.”

“No problem. I'll take him.”, Zack offered again, and the boy accepted, handing him the baby while he wiped himself clean and pulled his shirt down.

Zack held him close and gave him a few gentle pats on the back until Hope made a sound that was more like a sob than a burp. As he did so, he reminded himself, ignoring Aerith's laughter when he told her later, that they were light and gentle pats. And not the ones he had given him once that made him vomit on the back of his uniform shirt.

“Thank you.”, Cloud murmured, not that he could really convey in words how grateful he was to Zack.

“You don't have to thank me.”, the Soldier passed the infant to his mother's arms, who held him to his chest again.

“Who are these people in the photos?”, asked Cloud, pointing to the magazine with his chin. Hope remained quiet.

“Oh, these?”, Zack grabbed the magazine and held it up so they could both see it better.

In the photos, which must have been from the same party, Sephiroth could be seen, albeit from a distance, with two men beside him, also in suits. The angle was far away and their faces appeared slightly blurred.

“This is Angeal.”, Zack pointed to the man on Sephiroth's left, who was possibly even broader-shouldered than Sephiroth. “And this is Genesis.”

The red figure was turned sideways, his face almost completely hidden in the photograph.

“Angeal...”

“Hm. He's the one I told you about. When you join Soldier, you'll probably meet him. Unlike the other Class First, he gets along with and helps the Class second and third. He helped me a lot, too.”

“Souka...”

“Genesis... I don't know him that well. I've only been on a few missions with him, and all because Sephiroth asked me to. He doesn't... talk to me much. Or to anyone else. He's always reading a book called Loveless. Even Sephiroth spoke to me on our first mission together, but Genesis didn't. I don't know what to tell you about him.”

“Mmm, so he's just another Class First? “

“They're friends. Him, Angeal, and Sephiroth. At least that's what Angeal tells me. I think he's just a little more eccentric.”

“I don't think I've ever heard his name...”, Cloud confessed.

"I don't think he knows about you and Hope. But I don't know. You should ask Sephiroth.”

“What? No, he might not want to talk about it.”

Zack smiled.

“Or maybe you just don't want to tell him we're spying on him looking at these magazines?”

“B-both, I suppose.”, Cloud stuttered and gave Zack a gentle smile. “Please?”

Zack rested his hand on top of Cloud's head and ruffled his hair.

“Yes, yes. Just promise me you'll stop idolizing him one day. Before you have other children or something.”

“Zack!”, Cloud elbowed him, not knowing whether to laugh or blush, Zack just laughed.

“Hahaha, Gomen, Gomen.”

The laughter stopped when Hope started crying...

Sephiroth

“Excuse me.”, Angeal knocked on my door and entered. “Are you busy?”

“Ie.”, I muttered and dropped the folder of documents on the table. “What do you need?”

“Genesis and I were going to the training room. Do you want to join us?”

“I can't,”, I muttered. “I'm going to Nibelheim tonight and I really have to finish this.”

“Souka? I think Zack told me something about that.”

“Yes, he's going too. But I really have to finish this first.”

“You really need a vacation, don't you?”

I gave him a short smile.

“Don't tell me.”

“Do you need help?”, he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, thank you.”, I replied. Angeal already had enough work by himself without having to deal with mine as well.

“How's Cloud?”

“Fine.”, I replied, looking down at the sheet of paper I had to finish writing. “I was there last week.”

“Mm...”

I looked up at Angeal.

“Do you want to come?” I asked.

“With you? To Nibelheim?”

“Hum.”, I nodded, and Angeal seemed to think for a moment. Then he smiled.

“Count me in.”, he said. “I'll tell Genesis we will postpone the training.”

“Is that wise?”

“I have to prepare a few things if I'm going with you.”, Angeal said simply, as if that were a complete justification. Then he turned to leave.

“See you soon.”

And with that he left my office.

It was Zack who knocked on the door before taking a step back.

“And no one noticed you?” Angeal asked, looking around.

“Not yet.”

“Huh, must be a first. You've been lucky.”

“I suppose so.”

We waited in silence. I heard movement inside the house, and then the door opened.

“I'll get it.”, Tifa was finishing saying, still looking inside the house, then stopped to look at us.

“Oh, Zack...” she murmured, her red eyes wide open, her lips parted. “And Sephiroth...”

Then her eyes stopped on Angeal and opened even more.

“Good evening.”, he greeted her.

“Good evening.”, the young woman murmured back, opening the door wider.

“We brought one more person. We hope that's okay?”

“Two. We didn't know Sephiroth was coming, but it should be fine.”, said Tifa, entering the house. “Claudia-san—”

Zack entered first, followed by Angeal, and then me, I closed the door behind me.

“Zack? You're he—”

Cloud suddenly fell silent when he saw us. Three people, one more than usual. We were all in uniform, so I assumed he recognized Angeal as a Class First.

He audibly swallowed hard, and Zack intervened.

“Gomen, gomen. We should have warned you. I should have warned you.”

“No... it's okay. I just wasn't... it's a pleasure.”

“The pleasure is mine. My name is Angeal. Both Zack and Sephiroth have told me a lot about you. Congratulations on your son.”

Cloud smiled softly.

“Thank you.”

I mentally thanked Angeal for being so friendly.

“Cloud, can you put more plates on the table?”, Claudia asked her son. She was doing something in the kitchen, her back turned to us.

“Oh, let me help!”, Zack offered, going over to her.

“Where is Hope?”, I asked Cloud.

“He's in his room. I'll go get him now.”

“Do you want me to go?”, offered Tifa, who was placing something on the round table.

“No, that's okay.”

“Angeal, give me a hand?”, called Zack, and Cloud looked at me and headed for the bedroom. I followed him.

“Sorry I didn't texted you.”, I murmured as we entered his room.

“Ie, it's fine. I just wasn't expecting... to meet another member of Soldier like this.”

“Angeal... is a friend.”, I said. “I wanted him to meet you and Hope.”

Cloud walked over to the crib, a small smile on his lips. He took the baby out and held him close to him. I moved closer to them.

Cloud turned to face me, Hope in his arms. His green eyes looked in my direction.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Cloud acted before I could, handing Hope to me. I let him do it, resting the child on my forearm, I then pulled him closer to me.

Cloud was close, in front of me, his hand resting unconsciously on my other arm. We were both looking down to Hope. His big green eyes shifted between looking at me and looking at Cloud.

It was a strange thought. That I didn't know my mother's touch, but I was sure that I would never forget the way Hope felt in my hands. The warmth, the feeling of a heart beating close to me.

Cloud lifted his face and smiled at me, his blue irises meeting mine.

I leaned forward slightly, my figure hovering over Cloud's smaller one.

He moved closer, Hope turned his face to look at his Mother, then looked at me again.

Cloud touched his face, Hope made a soft sound with his mouth, and Cloud smiled more.

“Cloud.”, Tifa appeared at the door, and I turned back to look at her. “Your mother is calling. Is Hope awake?”

“Yes. We're coming.”, Cloud replied and looked at me. “Can you take Hope? I'll take the crib.”

“I'll take the crib.”, I murmured and passed Hope to Cloud's arms. He just smiled.

...

...

…

“He looks a lot like you.”, said Angeal. “No, he looks just like you, Sephiroth.”

“Doesn't he?”, laughed Zack. “That's exactly what I thought the first time I saw him.”

Angeal was the only one still standing, leaning over Hope's crib and looking at him.

“You never told me he looked so similar.”, Angeal commented, I don't know if it was to me or to Zack.

We were all sitting around the round table, the crib next to Cloud. There were three swords leaning against the wall near the entrance, Angeal's almost making Masamune and Zack's disappear underneath.

“I'm sorry, Cloud.”, said Angeal, and he came and sat down next to me. “It was unexpected. Sephiroth talks a lot about his son, but he never mentioned his hair color.”

“It's fine.”, said Cloud. “I don't mind that he doesn't look like me. As long as he's fine.”

“I think his eyes are similar to yours, Cloud.”, said Tifa with a small smile. “And he's so small, it's hard to know what he'll be like. And he's so cute, it doesn't matter anyway.”

“Hum.”, agreed Zack.

I uncrossed my legs and turned to the table, since I didn't need to look at Angeal anymore.

“Does Angeal-san also work for Shinra?”, asked Claudia.

“Hai. You could say we're colleagues. We have been for a few years now. I apologize for not letting you know in advance that I was coming. Sephiroth asked me if I wanted to come and I couldn't refuse.”

“No problem. We were already expecting Zack anyway.”

“If Zack becomes too much, I can always increase his workload.”

“Oi?! Angeal!”, Zack protested, Cloud and Tifa laughed, a small smile appeared on my lips.

“Actually, Zack has been a great help.”, Claudia said with a smile. “So please don't do that.”

“I told you,.”, Zack said to Angeal with an easy smile.

“Can you guys... refuse work?”, Tifa asked. “Class First are the elite of Soldiers, aren't they? I imagine you have... a lot of liberties.”

It was as if she had touched an open wound, even though my skin rarely broke. I knew what she was assuming. That I was a Class First, that those liberties applied to me. The way Angeal had spoken, even if it was a joke, and the “elite” classification suggested that.

Is she... accusing me...?

“Not exactly. We still have rules and duties to follow. As for liberties, we still have the limits imposed by the honor of a Soldier.”, said Angeal, in the serious tone he used for such occasions, but then his expression softened and he smiled at Tifa. “Right?”

Zack elbowed Cloud's arm, probably an inside joke between the two of them.

“Mm...”, Tifa murmured and gave Angeal a small smile. “I guess so.”

I thought he would stop there, but he didn't.

“With Sephiroth, it's different.”, he muttered, and whatever he was going to say, I wished he didn't. “He works much closer to President Shinra and has been his main bodyguard.”

Everyone looked at me, but the eyes I felt most intensely were Cloud's.

I remained silent and said nothing. Angeal had already said too much with an unnecessary explanation; there was nothing for me to say.

But against my better judgment, and because Cloud was looking at me in a way I couldn't decipher, I ended up speaking up.

“Even so, I intend to do everything I can for Cloud and Hope.”, I said. Angeal hid a smile, and I almost suspected that this was what he wanted from the beginning.

Maybe bringing him here wasn't such a good idea...

...

...

…

Cloud was sitting on the sofa, with Tifa and Zack sitting on either side of him. I was still in my seat at the table, my chair facing them. Claudia was further back in the kitchen.

“How did you find this?”, Zack asked Angeal, who had pulled his chair to sit closer to the sofa. Zack waved the huge chocobo stuffed animal in front of his face, the bright yellow color making it even more... eye-catching.

“It wasn't that hard.”, Angeal replied.

“But it's so cute.”, Tifa commented. “Now you have a big one and a little one, Hope!”

The baby was lying on Cloud's chest, the smaller chocobo plush toy in his hand.

“Thank you very much.”, Cloud said. “It's Hope's favorite toy.”

“Ie, you don't have to thank me.”, said Angeal. “And I also thought I couldn't show up empty-handed. Since I didn't know what might be needed, I decided to bring this.”

Hope waved the stuffed animal toward his mother, and Cloud smiled.

Suddenly, a phone began to ring. Zack searched his pockets, and I looked at my own coat in an unconscious movement.

“Excuse me, it's mine.”, Angeal got up from his chair, picked up the phone, and looked at the screen before asking: “Is there somewhere I can...?”

“This way.”, Claudia wiped her wet hands on her apron, and Angeal followed her.

It didn't take much thought to figure out who was calling him at that hour.

Genesis...?

Huh, so that's how things are between them...

Hope shook the stuffed animal and dropped it. Tifa leaned forward to pick it up. My son reached his hand out toward me, his green eyes fixed on me.

He might look like me, but the way he looked at me that reminded me of Cloud, with his big eyes and small, parted lips.

I got up from my chair. I was going to ask Cloud if I could hold Hope, my son, but then Angeal's footsteps returning to the room interrupted me.

“We should be going, no?”, he asked.

I frowned, Zack was much more vocal with his displeasure.

“Already?”

“It's late and we still have to go back to Midgar.”

Zack hesitated, then nodded in agreement.

“Mm.”, and he got up from the sofa.

“Angeal-san, it was a pleasure to meet you.”, said Claudia.

“The pleasure was all mine. Thank you very much for the dinner.”

“Oh, it was nothing.”

“It was a pleasure.”, said Tifa, and she got up. Angeal nodded in her direction.

“See you later.”, said Zack.

“Thank you for coming...”. Cloud murmured. “And thank you for the gifts, Angeal-san.”

Angeal smiled.

“No need to walk us to the door.”, Zack said. “Claudia-san, Tifa.”

“Have a safe trip.”, Claudia said.

Zack was the first to leave the room, Angeal following behind him.

“Good night.”, I murmured, approaching the sofa before leaving. “Let me know if you need anything,” I said. There were other things I wanted to say, but I couldn't.

I saw how Cloud's breath caught in his throat. Maybe he wanted to say something else too.

“I will. Good night.”

And I left the room…

...

...

…

“And?”

“And what?”, asked Angeal, who was driving, despite my insistence, Zack was in the back.

“I know you want to say something.”, I said. “Go ahead.”

Angeal laughed.

“Well, maybe there are some opinions I should keep to myself.”

“And I'm sure you won't.”, Angeal glanced at me before continuing to look at the road.

“To be honest, I didn't think he was so young. But it was my mistake, you told me.”

“I got a boy pregnant in Nibelheim.” that's how I initially told Angeal.

I glanced discreetly over my shoulder at Zack. His expression screamed: “I can't believe you said that.”

“Hm.”

“And I think I understand why you've been trying so hard.”, he continued. “Hope looks just like you. It would be almost impossible to hide him in Midgar.”

I nodded in agreement. Shinra wouldn't leave them alone. The doctors who said I was sterile would come back to examine me extensively, or Cloud, or all three of us. The idea of needles being stuck into my son, taking blood because it was my blood, him being studied like a guinea pig, treated as if he were special just to make him feel alone...

No, I won't... allow that.

“In any case, the countryside is also better for raising children.”, said Angeal, as if the alternative was not a laboratory.

“Mah, if it were other people, this would already be in all the newspapers.”

“Cloud would never do that.”, defended Zack, leaning forward and grabbing my seat. “They don't want the attention!”

“That's what I'm saying.”, said Angeal.

Angeal was right. Other people might want to use this, my genes, for something else. Attention, fame, whatever.

“But I can't imagine that happening.”, Angeal smiled at me. “Cloud clearly adores you, too.”

I frowned, Zack sighed.

“Right? Sometimes he's so obvious, it´s cute.”

My lips formed a line, and I was sure I would regret asking.

“What do you mean...?”

“I answered the phone in his room. You don't see many people sleeping in Soldier coats.”, Angeal smiled at me sideways.

He still... has it? Since the first night...? I thought...

I crossed my arms over my chest.

Cloud adores me... hmph, I'm not sure... if I would put it that way.

I made him give up his dream of joining Soldier. I took him inappropriately.

And I can't regret it.

“And that's because you didn't buy magazines to show him that you were in them and you had to look at all the pictures of Sephiroth...”

I looked back at Zack, my movement causing him to remove his hand from my seat.

I looked into Zack's eyes, trying to figure out if he was serious or making it up.

“In any case.”, Angeal interrupted. “He had your baby and is taking care of him. You have to treat him with respect.”

I sighed and leaned back in my seat.

Does Cloud really feel that way...? I don't think he would tell me anyway.

I wonder if he feels the same way I do...

Chapter Text

Rude

“Fuck!”

Reno practically kicked off his shoes, leaving them at the entrance and advancing into the apartment.

I took off my own shoes and placed his next to mine. It wouldn't last long, probably until we came back the next day and Reno threw them again.

My Aibo had... found different ways to rebel. And to burn off accumulated frustrations.

I followed my partner into the house. He had also thrown his black coat on the floor, a few inches from the sofa (probably missing because of his irritation). I picked it up and hung it on the back of the sofa.

Technically, it wasn't Aibo's coat, it was mine. And even more technically, it wasn't really mine, but one I had bought, exactly the same, but one or two sizes larger. Lying was the only way I had found for him to wear it. Reno's normal clothes no longer... fit him properly.

Another curse word, this time spoken from further away, from the bedroom, but with the same intensity.

“Aibo? What do you want for dinner?”, I asked loudly, moving toward the kitchen area, which was connected to the living room.

“Really, Rude?”, the angry voice came from Reno. “Forget dinner. I don't want anything.”

I took off my own jacket and hung it on one of the stools of the kitchen counter. I rolled up my shirt sleeves as I pondered why Aibo was so angry. No, tired. My partner was exhausted.

The day had also... not been easy. Not easy at all.

Even though he was a Turk, I would have preferred Reno to stop going to Shinra every day, even if it was just to do desk work. But I also knew that a Reno at home with nothing to do would be much worse.

And yet... 8, almost 9 months pregnant, and Reno hadn't stopped. It must have been quite tiring, even for my Aibo.

The meeting, however, had definitely been the worst.

Vice President Rufus Shinra had shown up...

Not even Tseng was counting on his presence. It should have been a meeting between the Turks and another executive, not with the president's son.

But, to everyone's surprise, it was he who entered the meeting room, the same well-groomed appearance, his face proudly raised.

After everything, I had a hard time liking him. All I could see was an arrogant boy who refused to face reality and didn't even deign to look at my partner.

Then we all sat down and the meeting began.

At meetings between us Turks and at the office, my Aibo would constantly get up to go to the bathroom. It was normal, and none of us would comment on it. Reno would simply get up with a grunt, or a curse if Tseng wasn't there, and go to the bathroom, returning moments later.

But in that room, at that meeting, with that person, Aibo couldn't do it. I could almost hear him if my partner even stood up: “And where do you think you're going?”

I admit, I was nervous for Reno. However, impressively, he didn't even move. Aibo remained seated, quiet, his sharp eyes not even looking at the Vice President.

Once, he only looked at him once.

And Aibo... shouldn't have done that...

He leaned back in his chair and rested one hand on his belly, which still looked bigger and stood out even more because of the position he was sitting in.

Tseng, who was speaking, didn't stop, but the vice president's eyes darted away for a second to my Aibo.

Disgust. His blue eyes flashed with disgust.

I thought my partner was going to lose it. I admit I had to control myself not to say anything.

It lasted only a moment, the cold expression, the narrowed eyes, the wrinkled nose, but it was there, directed at Reno.

I didn't understand how the vice president could act like that when... when it was his child.

Aibo hadn't explained to me what had happened between them, and I preferred not to ask.

But whatever it was, it didn't justify that look. Not when my partner was so far along in his pregnancy and looked like it.

I suddenly heard Reno's voice in a new loud word, and it woke me from my thoughts.

“Aibo?”, I asked, walking through the kitchen, across the small hallway, and inside the bedroom.

The first thing I saw was red hair, tied like a red thread on the white sheets.

My partner's clothes were scattered on the floor, he was lying on his side, his legs slightly bent. That position must have been good for him because his entire stomach was resting on the mattress. I could see the surface of his belly trembling, the baby moving underneath.

It was Aibo, it was impossible for me not to feel fondness for that child, no matter how many problems they caused.

“Aibo?”, I called and stepped further into the room.

“Hm?”, Reno didn't move.

“What do you want for dinner?”, I asked.

“Didn't you hear me? I don't want anything,”, he said, sinking further into the bed. “I just want to sleep.”

“Are you sure? You can choose what you want to eat, Aibo.”

He clicked his tongue in irritation.

“Seriously, Rude. Leave it.”, he muttered, rubbing one of his hands against his belly to scratch the marked skin.

My partner never refused food, so this was just weird. It was normal for him to be hungry, since he was eating for two, so... not wanting it...

“Aibo... is something wrong?”, I asked, frowning.

“No...”, he grunted. “Everything's fine, Rude, really.”

He grunted again and took a deep, heavy breath.

“Aibo...”

“This brat is fucking with me...”, he said, his tone a mixture of irritation and frustration.

“Hum? Aibo?”, I was starting to get really worried.

“It wasn't enough that he was crushing my bladder... and now this.”

“Is it hurting you?”

“Worse. It's putting pressure inside me... right in that spot. Shit... I'm really...”

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, and he shifted slightly in bed.

“And I can't even masturbate properly.”, he complained. “It's bullshit.”

My lips parted in surprise as I tried to process what my partner was saying.

The baby... putting pressure... inside him...

I thought about it for a moment and realized what he was talking about.

“Mm...”, I murmured. I figured Aibo wouldn´t being in the state of mind to think about that, but it seems there's nothing he can do to avoid it.

Another frustrated sigh.

“I can't even touch it with my fingers now. It sucks.”

“I'm sorry, Aibo.”, I murmured, not really knowing what to say. Pregnancy was much harder than it looked, even for my partner. There were so many symptoms that I sometimes had trouble keeping track of them all.

Those... there was nothing I could do to help.

“Nee, Aibo...”

Reno's eyes shifted to mine, his face slightly red, his pupils dilated. He rested his elbow on the bed to twist his body a little, leaning his face toward me to look at me.

“...do you want to do it...?”

“Huh?”

“You know...”, he slid his hand over his belly, the baby moving again. “Do you want to fuck, Rude?”

I found myself swallowing hard, all the saliva in my mouth seeming to disappear as my lips opened involuntarily.

It wasn't a lie... that Reno and I had already... been involved in that way in the past. But it wasn't something common between us.

And especially now... I didn't...

My hesitation was obvious. Reno's pupils, dilated with desire until now, returned to their normal size and he narrowed his eyes, clearly irritated, his teeth clenched.

“Hmph, fuck it.”, he lay back down completely, his back to me. “Forget the question, Aibo.”

He laughed, his voice laden with scorn.

“And it's not like you're going to have much desire for me in this state either.”

I could feel the venom of his words on my lips.

“Aibo...”, I murmured.

His breathing faltered. Not out of irritation, and not like he breathed when he was aroused.

Did he... sniffle...?

My partner brought his hand to his face and covered his eyes.

“Even that bastard would think that now...”, he muttered under his breath.

Of course, he was referring to the vice president. I thought back to afternoon´s meeting, to Rufus Shinra's expression of disgust.

I sat down on the bed and reached out to touch him.

“Aibo...”

My fingers brushed his belly and my partner shuddered, a chill running through his entire body. I moved my hand away and placed it on Reno's leg.

His face was buried in the pillow and I felt him shudder again. I didn't know what to do with my hand on his leg. Even though it was Aibo, it was difficult to know what to do to comfort him.

Another shudder and I was sure he wasn't shivering, I saw Reno's shoulders shake visibly and he squeezed the pillow his head was resting on tightly.

Then he started to cry.

“!”

I felt my throat close up and stared at my partner in shock.

I knew that hormones made it difficult for Reno to control his emotions. But in five months, I had never seen him so upset.

“Shit...”, he cursed and tried to wipe away the tears with his forearm, biting his lower lip to control them.

I had to do something. He was my Aibo, expecting a baby, whom I had promised to help, even without him asking for it.

I took off my glasses, left them on the bed, and climbed onto the mattress to lie down next to him.

I lay on my side, my body pressed against his. I felt him tremble as he cried and tried desperately not to.

I put one arm around his waist, my partner shuddered when I touched his belly, but this time I left my hand there.

I held him close to me while Aibo cried. It was horrible, the way his shoulders shook, how his voice sounded dry and slurred from the effort he was making to clench his teeth and not let it out.

“It's okay, Aibo.”, I whispered, feeling his hair brush against my jaw. “It's not your fault.”

“Yes, it is!”, he spat, his hand pressed against his eyes. “I know it's my fault. But that son of a bitch...”

He didn't finish, a sob escaped his lips and he clenched his teeth tightly, I heard them clash.

Yes, my partner might also be to blame, but he is the one bearing all the consequences. Having to bear a child and all the difficulties that entailed.

And then... the vice president's expression.

“Mm...”, I agreed, Aibo buried his head deeper into the pillow, I stroked his hair with my other hand to keep it occupied.

Whatever happened between them, it was ugly. Aibo had never offended him like this before; he was still our boss.

Mm... but it must be really hard to deal with all this of.

“It's his problem, Aibo.”, I said, hesitating before speaking. “To me, you're still as desirable as ever.”

My partner stopped suddenly, the trembling of his shoulders ceasing. I felt movement under my hand resting on his belly, the baby moving again.

Aibo turned his head back, craning his neck to look at me. His eyes were slightly reddened and his cheeks wet, but it didn't look like the expression of someone who had broken down, one that I, as Turk, had seen many times before.

“You think so...?”, he murmured, and Reno looked at me differently, his eyes softening at the edges.

“Mm.”, I agreed with a nod.

I think Aibo needed to hear that. He turned his face away again, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Don't say things like that, Aibo.”, he murmured. “I'll get aroused again.”

“It's okay. I can help you with that.”

“Hmph, what made you change your mind?”

“I never refused, Aibo.”

The crying seemed to have been forgotten. Hormones were causing a whirlwind of emotions in my partner.

I felt his hand on mine, his stomach trembling underneath. But he moved it down further, to grab the elastic of his own boxers.

“Help me here.”

I pulled his boxers down, the dark fabric covering him gave way to the pale skin beneath.

He moved his body away from mine, his legs bent, his back turned in my direction.

I swallowed hard.

“I'll just... get some lube.”

“Leave it, it's not necessary. I'm already wet enough.”

I swallowed hard again. I brought my hands to the middle of his buttocks.

I had to pull them apart with one hand. Aibo was right, the middle of his thighs was damp, his skin warm.

I rubbed the tip of my finger against his hole and felt it shudder, I took another deep breath.

I can do this. Even if he's my partner. Even if he's so pregnant.

I caressed his entrance with my finger and pushed it gently inside him, sinking it slowly into him. Aibo's breathing faltered.

Inside him was hot, I felt him clench around my finger, wet and tight.

“Come on, Aibo...”, he whispered. “You can do better than that.”

“I don't... want to hurt you...”, I said and started moving my finger inside him, pushing it further in and out, rubbing it against his inner walls.

“I'm really hard... at least use more fingers. I can't come like this.”, he murmured, a sigh leaving his lips.

“Mm...”

I pushed another finger inside him, also slowly. I felt his insides clenching hard, Reno's breathing became heavier.

He was really wet, I could feel the liquid sliding down my fingers and between his legs. I started moving them, pushing them slowly back and forth while trying to think that this was normal, that it wasn't from the waters where the baby was.

It was very difficult not to think about it.

Aibo pushed his hips back against my fingers. I rested my other hand on his hip to keep him still. I didn't want to penetrate him any deeper than that, and for me, it was already too deep.

“Rudo...”, he moaned in a soft voice, my own cock twitched inside my pants and I decided to ignore it. “Please...”

My fingers must have been insufficient that way, Aibo's hips kept shaking, and his insides, as tight as they were, seemed to be sucking my fingers in, urging me to push them deeper.

But I didn't want to do that. Deeper was my partner's full womb, protecting his baby. I couldn't... hurt him...

“Aibo... ah...”

But he was begging me, and my partner never did that. And maybe because of it, I decided to give Reno what he wanted.

He moaned with the third finger, I slid it slowly to join the others inside him. I felt his hole tremble, his muscles tightening hard around my knuckles, contracting.

Aibo pushed his head further into the pillow and moaned. I kept my hand still, letting his entrance get used to the width, even though his insides continued to suck intensely on my fingers.

“Ah... Rude...”, he writhed, shaking his hips against my hand, and I had to hold his hips tighter.

He moaned again, and I moved my fingers slowly inside my partner, in circles, to open him up inside, his hole still trembling.

Reno pushed his face forward and squeezed the pillow his head was resting on. His hips trembled, excitement dripping down his legs and over my fingers.

I exhaled deeply through my mouth and began to push my fingers in and out of him, pushing them to go deeper. Even with the tightness, which I assumed was due to the fact that Aibo hadn't done this in a while, my fingers slid easily because he was so wet.

“Mm... Ah...”

My partner began to moan, his voice sounding as I buried my fingers between his legs.

“Ah...ah...ah...”

His voice was loud and excited, Aibo curled over more, slightly spreading his legs and pushing his ass against my fingers. His hand was still resting on his belly, but I didn't want to look, didn´t want to see the baby moving in his stomach while I—

“Aibo... ah...”

I continued to push my fingers in and out of him, the muscles at the entrance no longer squeezing me so tightly, but his insides pulsed, hot and wet. I saw the muscles in his shoulders contract, his red hair brushing against the sheets as he writhed again.

My fingers slid in and out of Aibo, rubbing against his sensitive insides. My partner moaned as I pushed them in, his hips shaking.

“Ah... more... ah... deeper...”

I pushed my fingers deeper, until my knuckles were buried inside his hole.

“Ah!”

Reno moaned loudly, his hips shaking, a shiver running through his body and making him tremble all over.

“Shit... yes... there... ahh...”

Reno pressed his hips harder against my fingers, even though I couldn't push them in any further. Every time I pushed my fingers in, I must have hit that spot because Aibo just cried out, loud and excited, his body shaking all over.

I couldn't see Aibo's face, just reflections of his red face and his mouth opening when he moaned.

My partner leaned forward and reached beyond his belly. I heard him curse between moans.

“Shit... ah...”

He must have been trying to touch himself from the front, but it must have been difficult with such a big belly in the way.

But from the way his insides pulsed even more, he must could have reached it.

“Ah... ah... ah...”

Heavy breathing filled my ears, I continued to push my fingers in and out, feeling Reno tighten around them, his insides swallowing them completely.

That's when Aibo reached behind his body and grabbed the wrist of my hand that was inside him.

“Aibo...?”

He turned his face toward mine. His face was red, strands of hair sticking to his wet lips.

“Fuck… Aibo...”

“Are you going to come?”, I asked.

“Mm.”, he was panting.

“You can do it. I'll help you clean up and change the sheets afterwards.”

“No... it's not that...”

His pupils were dilated, staring at me sharply.

“I want you. Inside. Rude.”

I swallowed hard again.

“Aibo...”

His hand slid from my wrist to my pants. I took my fingers out of Aibo, he grunted, and his hole clenched.

My partner must have noticed my erection. It was hard to avoid when he was so close, his ass constantly rubbing against my thigh, fuller than before he got pregnant.

As much as I didn't want to, it was impossible for my body not to react.

And as much as I didn't want to, I knew Reno would take it badly if I refused. The vice president had done it, I couldn't do the same.

But he was almost nine months pregnant, and I didn't even know if using my fingers was safe, let alone...

Aibo pulled his hand away when he felt my fingers. I unbuckled my own belt and unzipped my fly. My partner quickly reached out and slipped his hand inside my pants to pull out my cock.

His fingers against my wet tip made me shudder, he grabbed it more firmly, squeezing my hard erection between his fingers and rubbing it against the middle of his own buttocks, pressing his body closer to mine.

“Aibo...”

“Mm? What is it?”

“At least... let me put on a condom.”

A laugh escaped his lips.

“What for? It's not like you're going to get me pregnant...”

I swallowed hard. Again.

My partner rubbed the head of my cock against his own hole, mixing my precum and his fluids. Then he squeezed it harder. I felt his tight entrance open around my cock.

We both grunted. Aibo pushed my dick harder and the head slid inside him.

“Ah...”

“Uh...”

He was too tight, I had to grab my partner's hips harder to get some stability.

I exhaled through my mouth, my vision darkened for a moment because of the pleasure. Aibo's insides were hot and tight, pulsing and clenching around my cock.

He turned again, one hand clutching the pillow, the other grabbing the sheets.

I pressed my hips harder against Reno's to push my cock deeper inside. I felt him shudder and Aibo moaned loudly.

I squeezed my partner's hip harder to control myself. He still had a baby inside him, and I couldn't forget that or be too rough with him.

I didn't penetrate him any deeper. I pulled my hips back slightly, sliding my cock out of Reno until only the tip was inside.

I pushed them forward again, thrusting myself halfway inside him, and Aibo and I moaned together with the sensation.

It felt good. I had to control myself to move my hips at a steady pace and not thrust in too deeply. Although the fear and constant reminder of the baby in his belly pushed the urge away.

I rocked my hips back and forth, slowly. Aibo's insides tightened around my cock, pulsing as if they wanted to suck me in to thrust deeper.

“Ah... ah... ah...”

“Uh... mn...”

My voice and Aibo's mingled. He squeezed the pillow harder, the muscles in his shoulders visibly contracting, sweat dripping from his skin, his hair sticking to it.

“Uh...”

“Mn...”

The mattress shook under our weight.

Aibo began to push his hips back to meet mine as I thrust into him.

“Ah...ah...ah...”

“Uh...uh...uh...”

My cock slid in and out of Aibo, his insides clenching around me and him moaning into the pillow.

I could feel Reno's pre-cum and excitement dripping onto the sheets, the wet sound of my cock entering him.

“Shit...Rude...”, moaned my partner, his insides clenching even more around my dick, his muscles gripping me. “I'm going to...ahh...”

His insides pulsed more, Reno moaned, and I was sure he was going to make me come, even if I didn't want to.

My Aibo writhed and moved his hips slightly to change the angle. On the next thrust, he moaned even louder and pushed his hips against mine hard.

“Ah...”

“Uh...”

I felt my own cock throbbing intensely, I could only thrust into Aibo one more time before he contracted around my cock and came.

The force of Aibo's orgasm took me by surprise and startled me. He writhed on the bed, his whole body shaking, moaning loudly. He tighten so much that I had difficulty sliding my cock out of him, with his hole clenching and pulsing.

When I felt myself coming, I had to pull out, and Aibo moaned again as my cock slid out of him, he still dealing with his own orgasm.

“Ah...”, I saw his stomach twitching, the baby moving violently beneath his skin.

A flash crossed my eyes, my cock throbbed, and I came.

“Ah... ah... ha...”

“Ha... ah...”

My semen hit his ass, dripping down between his buttocks. Aibo moaned one last time with the heat, the sight of my semen sliding down his trembling hole made my stomach turn.

My partner lay there, panting, his chest rising and falling quickly, semen on the sheets between his legs.

I turned onto my back, trying to catch my own breath. Aibo reached down and rubbed his stomach, where I could see the baby kicking, the shapes appearing under his skin.

“Mm...”, I heard him hum.

I watched my own cock soften, semen dripping from the tip.

I almost... lost control.

I sat up on the bed, then I glanced at my partner, still lying down, his breathing becoming more regular, still rubbing his stomach.

I'll have to run him a bath later... and help him clean up.

“Aibo, are you hungry?”

“Mmm...”, he murmured lazily.

I cleaned myself with the sheets that I was going to have to wash later and zipped up my pants before getting out of bed.

“I'll make dinner, okay?”

“Hai hai~”

I took one last look at Aibo, still looking limp and recovering from his orgasm, his hand rubbing his swollen stomach, his red hair spread out on the bed.

“I'll take care of it, Aibo.”

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

“I'm going to Corel.”, said Genesis, sitting in front of me at the long table. “To Gold Saucer, to be specific.”

“Let me guess...”, I teased with a smile. “You're going to see Loveless?”

“Yes.”, he replied. “There's a new actress playing Rosa, I want to see if she's suitable.”

I smiled again, unimpressed.

“At least you can have plans.”, said Angeal with a sigh, sitting next to me. “How many days do you have?”

“Three days.”, replied Genesis.

“One week.” I said.

“Hmph. The privileges of a hero.”, he scoffed.

“I didn't get any time off last time.”

“But you refused a mission with the President.”

Angeal sighed again.

“Stop with that”

“Hmph, you know it's true, Angeal.”

“Aren't you going to see your parents?”, Angeal interrupted.

“Ie.”, Genesis replied. “Three days isn't enough for everything.”

“Mm...”, Angeal looked at me. “Are you staying in Midgar?”

“I don't know yet.”, replied.

A week without any missions was unusual. I wanted to go to Nibelheim; that had been my original idea. I could be close to Cloud and Hope and help him with my son.

Then I started to think about it more carefully: in Nibelheim, there was always the possibility that someone would see me, since people knew my face. And if they saw me at Cloud's house, they might associate Hope with me.

Besides... the idea of spending so many days under Claudia's surveillance, where I could barely talk to Cloud, didn't appeal to me either, but I would be willing to put up with that if it were the only problem.

“You can always come with me if you want.”, said Genesis.

“I'd rather at least spend my vacation without listening to Loveless.”, I said with a smile. Genesis didn't seem to mind, as accustomed to our “no”, as we were to the lines he declared.

The conversation ceased when Lazard entered the room for us to begin a meeting.

...

...

...

I was back in my office, sitting at my desk, my chair slightly pulled back so I could cross my legs.

I sighed and finally stopped thinking about it. I grabbed my phone, dialed the number, and held it to my face before being able to stop myself.

It rang once, twice, three times before Cloud answered.

“Mos—no, Hope, don't cry.”, his voice was interrupted by the faint cry of a child, our child. “Shh, Zack, give it to me.”

Is Zack in Nibelheim?

I heard movement, Cloud moving the phone to another position, crying, Zack's voice more distant.

I waited patiently for Cloud to speak again. Hope's voice sounded louder, I heard Cloud trying to comfort him, even though it was too distant and muffled for me to understand what he was saying.

“I'm sorry.”, Cloud spoke to me again, he must have had Hope on his lap because I could hear him crying, even though it was quieter, very close.

“Do you want me to answer it?”, Zack asked.

“No need. S-still...?”, his voice trembled.

“Yes.”, I replied. “But I can call back later, there is no problem.”

“No... I... sorry.”, even over the phone, he sounded... embarrassed...? “Hope is fine. He just woke up, that's why he's...”

His voice was suddenly cut off, the phone being moved again.

“Cloud?”, I called.

“*sigh*, Hope, you can have it later.”, a soft laugh. “What? Are you listening? It's Oto-san.”

“!”

My lips parted, I swallowed hard, my chest shuddered.

He...?

“Sorry. Hope grabbed the phone.”

"...”

“Sephiroth?"

His voice snapped me out of my trance.

“I'm sorry.”, I murmured, trying to regain my composure. “I'll call you back later.”

“No. I... I can talk.”, he murmured, and I could no longer hear Hope crying.

I cleared my throat.

“I'll be on vacation in a few days.”, I said, and the phrase sounded strange to me, perhaps because it was the first time I had used it. “I'd like to know... if I could spend it in Nibelheim. Even if it's just a day or two.”

I realized that I might be overstepping my bounds; there was no guarantee that Cloud would want me to go there.

“H-ai. Of course... you can stay. I'll talk to Kaa-san, but...”

A small smile appeared on my face. I thought about how Cloud should look right now, blushing and smiling, trying to look away from my eyes if I were there.

“Therefore, is there no problem?”

“No, no, there’s not.”, his voice sounded lower and softer. “I... if you came...”

I heard him hesitate, his breath catching in his throat.

“...I'd like it...”

I smiled again.

“I'll make preparations to go.”

“Mm, hai.”

Maybe I should have gone to Nibelheim in person, to see the expression he's making right now...

“Thank you, Cloud.”, I murmured. “I'll write to you later.”

“Mm.”

“Is Hope okay?”

“Yes.”

“Mm. Well, excuse me then.”

“Goodbye.”

I hung up the phone and placed it on the desk.

I stared at it for a moment, pondering Cloud's words, my heart pounding in my chest.

Oto-san...?

Yes, it's true, but... Cloud calling me that and seeming... so happy because I'll be there.

I took a deep breath, pushed my head back, and closed my eyes.

It's a risk. Nibelheim. So many days in a row. Even if it's for them...

And yet... I proposed and Cloud accepted. Now I can't back out, I'll have to deal with the consequences of whatever happens.

That night I didn't sleep, thinking about what it meant to be a father when I had never known my own...

Narrator

Zack was watching Cloud as he hung up the phone, wondering how anyone could look so sweet doing something so simple.

Then he pushed those thoughts out of his head and the silly smile off his face and went to sit next to Cloud.

“You really can't talk to him without blushing, can you?”, he asked, giving him a friendly nudge that Cloud barely felt. Hope was nursing at his chest, and Zack was careful not to wake him. Not after seeing how he could scream when disturbed.

“I didn't expect Hope to start crying.”, defended Cloud. “I don't want him to think...”

“What? That you can't stop your son from crying? I bet Sephiroth couldn't do it. Well, I was here and I couldn't do anything.”

Zack put his hand on his friend's shoulder as he looked at him with big blue eyes.

“What I mean is: don't be so hard on yourself, Cloud.”

Cloud's lips broke into a smile.

“Thanks, Zack.”

“You don't have to thank me.”, Zack leaned back. “Besides, in this case, Hope only started crying because Sephiroth called you. What did he want?”

“He's going on vacation.”, Cloud muttered.

“Lucky him. I don't even know when my next day off is.”, Zack sighed. “And? And?”

“He asked... if he could stay in Nibelheim.”

“Great! That's really good, isn't it?”

“Mm.”, Cloud agreed, but Zack wasn´t seeing the same happiness his friend had shown on the phone.

“It's... because of Claudia-san, isn't it?”

“Mm.”, Cloud sighed. “You know how she is.”

“Come on, it's normal. She's your mother. She cares.”

“It's more than that, Zack. It's just... it's going to be weird.”

Zack thought he understood what Cloud meant. Sephiroth wasn't the most... friendly person, but he kept an even greater distance in Claudia-san's presence. Zack also understood his friend's mother in a way, but they had a child together... it should be difficult to behave like strangers after everything.

“If Aerith were here, she would know what to say.”, Zack thought, crossing his arms and staring at the ceiling, thinking.

Cloud took Hope from his chest and wiped his lips with his own shirt, which was already quite stained with saliva and milk.

“Mmm...”, made Zack, trying to come up with an idea. Cloud rested his son on his shoulder and patted him on the back a few times to get him to burp.

“What if you guys went somewhere else?”, Zack said suddenly. Hope looked at him with wide green eyes (which, despite their color, Zack thought were just like Cloud's) Zack touched the tip of his nose while smiling.

“Hmm?”, Cloud asked. “Somewhere else?”

“Yeah. Sephiroth has a few days off, right?”

“Yes.”

“But you don't want him to stay here in Nibelheim, right?”

“Mm.”

“So why don't you go somewhere else?”, Zack asked. “Like you are going on a real vacation.”

“I don't know... Zack...”, Cloud murmured. “Hope is very young. And it's not like Sephiroth… could be seen with us...”

“Unless you go somewhere where no one knows him,”, Zack suggested, too excited by his own idea.

“I don't think that exists.”, Cloud said with a small smile. Zack was trying so hard, even if it didn't make much sense.

“Of course it does. The name may be well known, but there are people who have never seen him in their lives.”

“Yes, maybe in the middle of nowhere.”, Cloud smiled. God, he was really smitten with the hero, wasn't he?

“Mah, you could consider Gongaga to be in the middle of nowhere.”, Zack said. “But so is Nibelheim.”

“Gongana? Your town, Zack?”

“Hai. What do you think? No one would know you there! I can talk to my parents. Gongana has no tourism, there's always an extra room somewhere.”

“Zack, calm down. That... I'd have to ask him. And Kaa-san. And I don't want to bother you either. Or your parents.”

“If I'm offering, it's because it's no bother, don't you think? And my parents would love to have someone who knows me there. They're always asking questions.”

“I don't know.”, Cloud admitted. “My mom won't like it. But if the alternative is staying here... that's going to be really weird...”

The relationship between the two had seen better days. Before, even if Claudia didn't agree with Cloud's decisions, it wasn't as if she could do anything to stop him, like when he decided he wanted to join Soldier. It was the natural order of things, children eventually left the nest.

But that had changed everything. Claudia thought her son had been used, even if Cloud wouldn't admit it. On the contrary, he defended Sephiroth and never talked about what had really happened. Or when. Or how.

Even so, Claudia couldn't believe it. That her son would get involved with the other man willingly, that he hadn't been forced in some way.

Of course, Sephiroth was nothing like Claudia had imagined: after his initial outburst in which he denied the paternity, he had done nothing unpleasant. He sent money, visited Nibelheim regularly, never said anything or behaved disrespectfully.

And yet... Claudia couldn't... Maybe it was because he was a soldier, maybe it was his eyes...

Or maybe it was Claudia, who had raised her son alone, not wanting him to go through the same thing...

“Then talk to her.”, said Zack. “And with Sephiroth. Or do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, I'll talk to him.”, said Cloud. “And Zack? Thank you. Really.”

“You don't have to thank me, okay?”, said Zack. “That's what friends are for.”

Cloud smiled.

“Yes.”, he agreed, and Zack smiled too.

For a moment, they smiled at each other, until Hope raised his hand and almost hit Zack in the face.

They looked at the baby, then at each other.

Then they both burst out laughing.

Sephiroth

“Gongaga?”, I muttered, not sure if I was repeating Cloud's words or Zack's. “That's where you're from, right?”

“Yap, Gongaga.”, Zack confirmed with a nod.

Cloud had called me hours earlier that morning. He had only done so once before, when Hope was born, which made me frown when I saw his name on the screen.

It wasn't to warn me or announce something, like at that time. In fact, Cloud had spent the whole time whispering. Hope had fallen asleep on his chest after a sleepless night, and Cloud was afraid of waking him, so he spoke softly.

He spoke, I listened and replied in whispers too, a small smile on my lips as I thought about how they must look, Hope lying asleep on Cloud's chest.

He told me about my time off, asked me if I had ever been to Gongaga, to which I replied no.

Cloud spoke slowly, clearly wanting to say something, I didn't rush him.

I didn't want him to stop anyway, even though I knew he eventually would.

He ended up explaining to me that Zack had spoken to his parents, who offered us a place to stay in Gongaga, in a house in the center of the village.

I was about to ask him why, but then he told me that this way we wouldn't have to stay in Nibelheim, to which I replied that I had no problem staying at his house.

Cloud was silent for a while, and I regretted speaking, especially when I wanted so much to hear him, I was about to apologize when he spoke again.

“It would be... just the three of us...”

The realization that Cloud felt the same way I did took me by surprise. Even though I couldn't explain what I felt, that almost need to be with them (which led me to travel constantly to Nibelheim or kept me awake at night), knowing that Cloud felt the same way was...

Unexpected...

And that was why I was talking to Zack at that moment, taking care of the last details of our now “trip.”

“I wonder where this idea came from.”, I muttered and stared at Zack, who crossed his arms.

“If you really want to know, I proposed it to Cloud. He didn't want you to stay in Nibelheim for so long since... you know... Claudia-san doesn't like you.”

Zack didn't seem to be lying.

“So, you proposed it to him?”

“Yes. Then I wrote to my parents and they took care of the rest.”

“What did you tell them?”

“If they had a place where a couple that were my friends and their baby could stay. Don't worry, I didn't give them any more details than that. My mom replied and told me she had taken care of everything, that you could go whenever you wanted. Oh, and she also said I should go too, but that's impossible since I have to be in Junon, but the rest is taken care of.”

I stared at Zack for a moment, wondering if I trusted him that much.

It was pointless, though, since I had already told Cloud yes.

“In that case, thank you.”, I said. “I'll talk to Cloud.”

“I hope you have fun. Gongaga doesn't have... anything special, but at least no one will bother you.”

I leaned back in my chair.

A week with Cloud and Hope... in Gongaga.

Will Claudia let it happen? She rarely even leaves me alone in the same room with Cloud, let alone...

Even so... I wanted to see him. Hope lying on Cloud's chest. Oka-san interacting with our son.

What I didn't have...

“Do you have everything?”, Claudia asked her son.

“Hai, Kaa-san.”, Cloud replied. I took the bag he was holding so I could carry it, and Cloud held Hope with both hands.

“Are you sure?”, she insisted. Dim lights illuminated our figures in the middle of the night at the entrance of Nibelheim.

“Hai.”, Cloud replied again. “Kaa-san, we have to go.”

“Yes, I know.”, she looked at me. “Four days, right?”

“Hai. They'll be here at night.”, I nodded.

Claudia looked back at her son and seemed to hesitate about something she was going to say. Then she sighed.

“Take care of my grandson.”

“Hai/Hai.”, Cloud and I replied at the same time, unsure of to whom she was talking about.

Claudia looked at Hope, in Cloud's arms, his green eyes closed.

“Have a good trip.”

“Mm. Ittekimasu.”

“Thank you.”

Cloud turned first, probably to prevent his mother from saying anything else. I took one last look at Claudia and turned away too, Cloud and I heading out of Nibelheim.

I walked slowly to keep up with Cloud. Gongaga was definitely too far to reach on foot. Not as far as Midgar, but the terrain made the journey impossible. There were some paths through the mountains, but I refused to take Cloud and Hope along them. Too dark. Too many monsters. Too foolish.

The only solution wasn't entirely feasible, but it was the only option.

We walked in silence. I glanced discreetly at Cloud along the way. He said nothing, his eyes fixed ahead or on Hope.

“Are you nervous?”, I asked, blue eyes looked at me and immediately looked away.

“No.”

It didn't seem sincere.

“Really?”

“Ahh... I mean...”, he smiled. “I guess so. A little. But I'm more anxious.”

That caught my attention even more.

“Have you ever left Nibelheim?”

“No. This is my first time. I was supposed to—”

He suddenly fell silent. I frowned at Cloud, waiting for him to continue.

Cloud opened and closed his lips without saying anything. Then he looked at Hope and adjusted the blanket that wrapped him.

“You were going to Midgar. To join Soldier”, I said, based on what I knew about him.

“Mm. That was the plan.”, he replied simply.

It was strange to have that conversation after so long. Cloud's dreams. His ambitions. Before my mission in Nibelheim. Before our paths crossed. Before he gave it all up.

If he were someone else, I might have stated the obvious. That even if he went to Midgar and went through the training, there was no guarantee he would join Soldier. The Turks travelled around the world looking for candidates, and even those they recommended didn't always make it.

And yet... I had a feeling that if it were Cloud... maybe...

Maybe because he came from a rural background. Like Angeal and Genesis from Banora, or Zack from Gongaga.

No, that would be disregarding his merit. Cloud had awakened something deeply dormant within me. Maybe he had created it, even though that perspective was even more powerful.

Someone who had that kind of power also had the power to join Soldier.

I must have been silent for too long, because Cloud spoke again.

“But it's okay. I don't—”

“That doesn't mean you can't still do it.”, I interrupted, though I really wanted to hear the end of his words.

What are your true feelings, Cloud? Doesn’t it matter to you? Doesn't it make you sad? Don't you hate me?

The wind blew softly, accompanying the sound of our footsteps.

“Join Soldier.”, I clarified and looked at Cloud, who wasn't looking in my direction.

“Maybe.”, he muttered. “I don't know. It's just... really far away now.”

I imagined it seemed even further away with a child in his arms. I thought about telling him how it was just too close, but that seemed unnecessary.

“It's not impossible.”, I emphasized.

Cloud turned his face away, but I could make out his shy smile and red cheeks.

What does he feels? Hearing this from the person he admired and who simultaneously prevented him from following that dream?

“Hearing you say that is...”, he murmured, smiling at me sweetly and softly, and I found myself thinking that it suited him, which affected me even more.

“That's what I think, Cloud.”, I simply murmured, and that made him blush even more.

We remained silent for the rest of the path.

I thought about what would have happened if Cloud had gone to Midgar before our paths crossed.

Maybe I wouldn't have paid attention to him, maybe he would have captivated me all the same, with the same looks, with the same persistence.

Maybe he would have joined Soldier. Third, second, first. The distance between us wouldn't be so great, we would be closer to being equal, maybe he would be able to say my name and look me in the eyes.

But the rest wouldn't exist. That night. Those months. Hope.

The non-existence of my son... was unpleasant.

So the only option was for Cloud to eventually join Soldier in the future. Although even that wasn't ideal.

Cloud would be too close and at the same time too far away, even if it was certainly a selfish perspective.

But he would also be too close to Shinra, and I wanted to avoid that.

The plane finally became visible and my thoughts on the matter ceased.

We got closer and Cloud finally saw it, his lips parting in a circle.

There was a man standing next to it, his cigarette glowing in the dark night and smoke rising from it.

“Hello.”, he greeted us with a nod, when we got close enough, I stood in front of Cloud.

“Tiny Bronco?”, I asked, and he took the cigarette from between his lips.

“And I assume you are my night passengers?”, he asked, extending a hand toward me. “Sir—”

I took an envelope out of my coat pocket and placed it in his palm.

“Here is the payment. The destination is Gongaga.”, I narrowed my eyes at him. “And the conditions remain the same.”

The man put the cigarette back in his mouth, clenching it between his teeth while opening the envelope.

He was about to count the money, but seemed to think better of it and put it in his coat pocket.

“If you're ready to go, we can leave now.”, he said.

“We are.”

He threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with the sole of his shoe, walking toward the stairs of the plane.

“Then please get on board.”

And he disappeared inside the plane.

I glanced over my shoulder at Cloud, who still looked somewhat impressed as he stared at the plane.

When he felt my gaze on him, he looked up.

“Sorry.”

“Ie. You don´t have apologize. Shall we go?”

He nodded.

I boarded the plane first, largely to shield Cloud, but that didn't stop the pilot from looking over his shoulder at Cloud when he boarded behind me.

“Woah, Woah. Nobody told me about a baby.”, he said suddenly, and Cloud froze in place.

“It's part of the deal.”, I said simply.

“Still…”, he scratched the back of his head. “How old is he? He seems too young to—”

“Sit down.”, I said to Cloud, almost in a whisper. He moved to one of the seats further inside, next to the window.

“Is there a problem?”, I cut in, and he fell silent abruptly.

“No...”, another pause. “I'm just going to ask everyone to fasten their seat belts. We're about to take off.”

I went to sit next to Cloud. Then I fastened his seatbelt, since his hands were busy with Hope, then fastened my own.

I crossed my legs and leaned back in my seat. I heard the plane's engine, the propellers shaking. Cloud looked out the window and held Hope tighter. I thought he would look scared, but he seemed excited above all else.

The plane began to move forward, picking up speed. I saw Cloud hold Hope closer to him. His green eyes were wide, fixed on his mother. Cloud looked out the window, even though it was too dark outside to see anything.

His reactions were entertaining, perhaps adorable. But I supposed they were normal for someone who had never been in that situation before.

The plane took off, quickly gaining altitude.

I had found the pilot's services in some Shinra documents. He made occasional deliveries to areas where soldiers didn't usually go, because they were of little importance or too far away.

“But the truth is... I didn't expect my passengers to be a couple.”, the pilot commented, looking over his shoulder at us. "I thought you were some soldiers who had gone home. Even with the Makoro, Nibelheim is not one of Shinra's main destinations.

A couple...? Souka...

“And to Gongaga... is it a vacation? Or are you going back home?”

I didn't answer. I couldn't tell if the questions were just small talk or if he was trying to know too much.

I thought about Zack's instructions for when we arrived at his village: the house on the right, the key under the flower pot.

“You can sleep if you want.”, I whispered to Cloud. “It'll still take a few hours to get there.”

“I'm fine.”, he said. “I don't think I can sleep right now anyway.”

His sincerity made me smile. I leaned back and crossed my arms, also with no intention of sleeping, the pilot had stopped making small talk.

After a while, I looked at Cloud, who moved in his seat, next to me.

I tightened my eyes; he looked extremely pale, his face whiter than I had ever seen it. Hope, between his chest and forearm, seemed to be sleeping, and his other hand was clenched around the fabric of his pants.

“Cloud.”, I called, and he slowly turned his face toward me. “Is something wrong?”

“Ie.”, he muttered, but he must have realized that I saw through his weak lie. “I'm just... a little nauseous. It's nothing.”

“Nauseous?”

The last time I had seen Cloud so pale was when he was still pregnant with Hope.

He turned his face to the front and took a deep breath.

It never occurred to me that he could get motion sickness.

“Try to sleep.”, I said.

“Mm.”, he forced a smile and leaned back. “It'll pass…”

...

...

…

It didn't pass.

The trip was horrible for Cloud. I decided not to say anything to let him rest, but when he started sweating visibly and shaking, I decided I had to do something.

I asked him to let me hold Hope, which he agreed to.

Hope shook as he moved from the warm place on Oka-san's chest to mine, but he stayed there without protest, his eyes fixed on his mother.

Cloud leaned his head back on the seat and sighed heavily, probably controlling the urge to vomit.

“Oi, is the kid okay?”, asked the pilot.

“How long until Gongaga?”, I asked.

“An hour, I think.”

“Is there anywhere you can drop us off sooner?”

“I suppose so. The landing spot might be closer. But it's easier to get to the city from the port, as far as I know.”

“Land where you can, regardless of the distance.”, I said.

“Mm, I'll do that.”

“Cloud.”, I murmured, and he opened his eyes and looked at me.

“We're almost there.”

He forced a smile.

“I'm—”

He suddenly fell silent and covered his mouth with his hand. I heard him swallow, his eyes closing, his eyelids trembling slightly.

I brushed my fingers across one of his temples to wipe away the sweat and pushed back a few strands of blond hair that were sticking to his wet skin.

“We're almost there.”, I reassured him. This time Cloud didn't open his eyes, but leaned closer to my touch. Hope moved in my other arm, a small hand reaching out toward Cloud, which made him open his eyes slightly.

“I... Oka-san is fine.”, he murmured with a small smile, then swallowed and took another deep breath.

Cloud rested his head on my arm and stayed there, still sweating and trying to swallow his nausea. I didn´t move, Cloud in one of my arms, Hope in the other, looking at me with green eyes, the same as mine, without the shining of Mako.

It still took nearly an hour for the plane to begin its descent. By then, Cloud had buried his head deeper in my arm, breathing hard, and Hope woke up and shivered in my arm. Even if I wanted to comfort him, it was impossible with my other arm in Cloud's grip.

The plane finally landed a minute or two later, and the sound of the engine and propellers ceased.

“Gongaga,”, announced the pilot.

“Cloud.”, I murmured, and he raised his head, still looking pale and nauseous.

I got out first, holding Hope. Cloud got up with shaky steps and had to hold on to the seat.

“It will pass, kid.”, said the pilot. “A few minutes on solid ground and you'll be as good as new.”

“Thank you.”, I said simply, getting out first, making sure Cloud was behind me.

The damp, cold night air contrasted sharply with the temperature inside the plane. I was going down the steps when I felt Cloud's hands collide with my back, the weight of his body leaning against mine.

“Sorry....”, he muttered, breathing through his nose.

“Ie. No need to apologize.”

We got off the plane, I didn't look back.

“Thanks for your service.”

“No problem. Will you need the same thing in a few days? Gongaga - Nibelheim?”

“No, it won't be necessary.”

He said nothing more. Eventually, the plane closed again.

Cloud suddenly moved away in front of me as the plane took off again. I protected Hope against my chest, the wind from the propellers blowing my hair and clothes, dust rising.

Cloud fell to his knees on the floor, and the noise of the plane drowned out the sound of him throwing up as he leaned forward.

I approached Cloud, the plane now far enough away that it couldn't be heard. He leaned back, sitting on his knees, and coughed. I hesitated whether to approach him further or wait, but in the end, I decided on the former.

“Cloud...”

He leaned forward again and vomited again. I was getting worried about his condition, unfamiliar with the problem.

“Cloud.”, I called again and knelt behind him. I touched him lightly on the shoulder and felt him shiver.

Cloud coughed, but at my touch, he turned his face toward me.

His face was red and his lips were dirty, his hair disheveled.

“Better?” I asked, and wiped his face with my hand still covered by the glove.

“N—"

He tried to protest, but ended up falling silent. I moved my hand away, and he looked away.

“Mm... better...”, he murmured, although he didn't seem that well.

“We can rest before we leave for the village.”, I said.

“No, no. I'm fine.”, he said, still looking too pale.

“No one is waiting for us, Cloud. We can take as long as we need.”

That argument seemed to convince him.

“Okay... just... a few minutes...”

“Mm.”, I agreed, and decided that as much as I liked how flushed he was, I didn't want him to feel even more embarrassed than he already seemed to be. “I'll check the route to Gongaga.”

“Mm.”, he looked at me with big blue eyes. “Are you taking Hope?”

“Would you prefer for him to stay with you?”

“No.”, he gave me a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Take as long as you need.”

I stood up and moved away to give Cloud some privacy.

Beyond the track, the dense, dark forest of Gongaga rose up. I was looking for a path between the trees when I felt Hope's hands brush against my coat.

“Mm?”

I looked away and lowered my face to look at my son. His hand brushed my hair, an almost imperceptible touch.

He opened and closed his lips, then pressed them against my jacket, rubbing them against the fabric.

“Oh?”

A smile appeared on my face. He seemed to be sucking on my jacket now, probably looking for one of Cloud's nipples, the person whose chest he usually rested on.

“Unfortunately, I can't help you with that.”, I said, his green eyes turning to me for a second, then back to my coat in his mouth.

“Let's go back to Oka-san.”, I murmured. “He must be feeling better by now.”

And I had already seen the path through the trees that we should follow to Gongaga.

I walked slowly to where Cloud was. He had been sitting until then, but now he stood up and was looking at us.

We stood close together, Cloud's eyes lowering to the baby.

“I'm sorry about your coat.”, he murmured.

“It's fine.”, I replied.

I thought about what Angeal had told me, about Cloud sleeping with my coat, the one I had left him, but I decided not to mention it.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Mm.”

...

...

…

It still took us about half an hour to reach Gongaga. The path to the village was through dense forest, lakes and puddles, and darkness that was too deep. We had to proceed with caution.

Finally, Gongaga came into view. We would have enough time to see the village the next day, but Cloud seemed too tired, and I was sure Hope would eventually get tired of my coat and start crying from hunger.

The key was under the vase, I opened the door and pushed it open to enter. I turned on the light switch, and Hope immediately started kicking in my arms. Cloud came in behind me and quickly turned off the lights.

“He must be sleepy.”, he whispered. “I'll feed him and try not to wake him up completely.”

“Mm.”, I nodded, an apology under my tongue. I handed Hope to him. He looked around the room and left through a door that must have led to the bedroom.

I closed the door behind me with a sigh. The front of my coat was wet, saliva sticking to the leather and dripping down. My glove was too, and it was the first thing I took off, followed by the other.

I placed them on the back of the sofa, along with the bag Cloud had brought with him, which I imagined contained Hope's things.

Maybe he needs something from here...

I unfastened the buckles and took off my coat, placing it next to my gloves. With his bag in hand, I entered the bedroom.

Cloud was lying on the bed, his shirt discarded on the floor. Hope was on his chest while he breastfed him, his silver hair contrasting with fair skin.

I entered quietly and stood at the door. Cloud glanced slightly in my direction and our eyes met in the dark, the pale moonlight coming in through the window.

His eyes went lower for a moment, then he raised them to mine again, his cheeks darker.

It seems that this kind of exposure between us... still affects him.

However, I wanted to see. That Cloud could feed our child through his own body. Not only how much Cloud had changed to give birth, but also to nurture our son.

It was fascinating. Cloud was genuinely fascinating for what he could do.

“You can come lie down if you want.”, he murmured and looked away, probably because I had been staring for too long.

“I'm going to take a shower, if you don't mind.”, I murmured. “I won't be long. I'll stay with Hope if you want to go after.”

“Mm. Thanks.”, he murmured with a small smile, I left the room and closed the door behind me.

...

...

…

I took a quick shower, didn't wash my hair, as it would have taken too long.

I dried my hair with a towel without much care, got dressed, and left the bathroom.

I entered the room and stopped at the door. A small smile appearing on my face.

Cloud was lying on the bed, on his side, his legs slightly bent. Hope was lying next to him, facing Cloud, leaning against him, resting on his chest. I could hear the soft sound of their breathing, both asleep.

I felt the wet hair on my shoulders, in my rush to get ready so Cloud could sleep afterwards. But apparently, Hope had no trouble falling asleep.

Sweet... seeing them like this is really...

I closed the door quietly.

The sofa was small but it would be enough. It must took two or three hours before sunrise.

I had just sat down when I heard the bedroom door open, followed by soft footsteps.

Cloud was standing at the door, raising a hand to cover his mouth as he yawned. His eyes were half closed with sleep, his blond hair messy.

“I thought you were asleep.”, I whispered.

“Mm.”, he denied, rubbing one of his eyes. “Aren't you coming... to bed...?”

His voice was marked by sleep, a tone lower than usual. He should be really tired.

“No. Hope is there with you. You should go to sleep, Cloud.”

“You... aren't coming?”

Our eyes met.

“Did you mind... Ie... do you want me to come?”

Cloud blinked, his lips parted, and he replied a moment later.

“Mm. You don't have to stay here.”

I got up from the sofa, but Cloud only started making his way back to the bedroom when he saw me following behind.

The bed was empty, there was a crib where Cloud had laid Hope. I could hear the sound of his soft breathing.

Cloud lay down first, on the side closest to the crib, furthest from the door, sinking under the sheets.

I lay down next to him, on the other side. I felt the warmth of the mattress where his body must have been until he got up.

He turned on his side, probably to look at the crib. I watched his bare back, his body moving slowly as he breathed.

It was the first time I had shared a bed with someone.

I reached out, in a sudden impulse to touch him. How warm would his skin be now? How soft?

I curled my fingers, without touching him, and rested my hand on the bed.

No... this is enough. Maybe even more than I could ask for. I wouldn't be lying in the same bed as him if Cloud hadn't told me to.

“Good night...”, I heard Cloud's voice, low and drawn out, heavy with sleep. “Se... phiroth...”

I rested my head more comfortably on the pillow and closed my eyes, a final smile appearing on my lips.

“Good night, Cloud...”

Chapter Text

Narrator

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: Zack, what should I do if I get motion sickness?

Zack: Huh? You get motion sickness?

Zack: I didn't know that!

Cloud: Neither did I. I found out yesterday.

Zack: So you've already arrived in Gongana?

Zack: *Gongaga?

Cloud: We arrived yesterday.

Zack: How did it go?

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: The trip was awful.

Zack: Sorry to hear that.

Zack: I don't get sick, so I don't really know what to do.

Cloud: I didn't know what to do either. It was horrible.

Zack: Really?

Zack: What happened?

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: I managed to get through the whole trip without... you know.

Zack: That must have been really hard

Cloud: It was. And then I just threw up.

Zack: Great way to start a trip, huh?

Cloud: In front of Sephiroth.

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: More than once.

Zack: Andddddd?

Cloud: What do you mean?

Zack: What's the big deal? You must have been really sick.

Cloud: It was so embarrassing.

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: Come on, man.

Zack: That was nothing.

Zack: Did Sephiroth say anything?

Zack: Cause if he did

Zack: I don´t care if it´s him

Zack: (typing)...

Cloud: No, he didn't say anything.

Zack: He's gonna have to deal with me!

Cloud: No.

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: Then why are you so worried?

Cloud: I didn't say I was worried! It's just...

Zack: Come on! Forget about it.

Zack: Have fun.

Zack: Not everyone gets to go on vacation with the hero Sephiroth.

Zack: And give Hope a kiss from me! How is he?

Cloud: Fine, sleeping now. I'll give it to him when he wakes up.

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: Thanks, Zack.

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Zack: (typing)...

Cloud: (typing)...

Cloud: Zack?

Zack: You're welcome!

Zack: Have fun!

Sephiroth

The days in Gongaga were pleasant. It was a first, I couldn´t remember having a vacation in a long time.

Before... it was common for Angeal, Genesis and me to spend days like these together. Training, having fun. Sometimes we would go to the theater in Hachiban-gai, or Angeal and I would stage Loveless as a joke under the direction of Genesis, who didn't get the joke.

Before, of course, things became definitely more complicated. More work, more missions. Our days off stopped coinciding. Zack appeared, Angeal and Genesis started going to the theater alone, Shinra started using me even more as propaganda.

There was, therefore, no reason for a vacation. Or to stop. To break the cycle and the schedule that the Company imposed on me.

But now, Cloud is here with me. And our son.

It seemed almost like a joke of fate, a slap in the face of Shinra, the most unlikely outcome of all...

When I woke up, the sun was already high in the sky, shining through the window and filling the room with light.

I opened my eyes slowly and blinked a few times. I spent a few seconds staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, the sound of another soft breath reaching my ears.

How strange it is... not to wake up alone...

Next to me, Cloud slept, breathing slowly. The same with Hope, whose breathing was so soft that I had to concentrate to hear it.

I turned on my side on the bed, rested my elbow on the mattress, and lifted my face.

I looked beyond the bed, at the crib that hid Hope. My eyes then slid to Cloud.

He must have fallen asleep in that position and hadn't moved. Lying with his back to me, curled up on himself, one arm folded under his head.

A small smile appeared on my face.

Always looking out for Hope... even while he sleeps.

I stared for a few more moments, Cloud looked adorable, in my opinion. With his lips slightly parted and his blond hair falling over his face.

Or maybe it was my feelings clouding my judgment.

It didn't matter.

I lay back down and mentally reviewed what we had to do during our stay, which basically came down to thanking Zack's parents and maybe having dinner or lunch with them, as their son had asked me so many times to do.

“They'll invite you. My parents are that kind of people.”, Zack justified, clasping his hands together, almost in prayer. "So, please? Please accept!”

I looked at Zack over the documents I was finishing reading.

“I don't understand your insistence.”, I admitted. “Unless this is your condition for the favor.”

“Of course not! There's no condition.”, Zack defended. “It's just... I haven't been able to go home in a while. And I know my parents would be less worried if they talked to my friends. You know.”

“No, I don't.”

He sighed.

“They just need to be told that I'm fine. That everything is going well and they don't need to worry.”

“Isn't that what you write in your letters?”, I asked.

“Yes. But it's different hearing it in person.”, he argued. “Come on, Sephiroth.”

Zack was too easy to provoke. I had no problem agreeing to have dinner with his parents and reassuring them about their son, even though I didn't like having to expose my relationship with Cloud to even more people.

“Did you ask Cloud?”, I asked.

“Mm. He said it was okay, since my parents helped so much.”

“Then why are you asking me the same question?”

“Because even if Cloud wants to, if you say no, he'll do what you want.”

“Cloud isn't that lacking in personality.”, I muttered.

“But you know he'll try to please you.”, Zack said, as if stating a fact. “So please!”

I gave him a small smile.

“Maybe...”

I turned my face away when I heard Cloud's voice, a soft sigh.

He stretched, the muscles in his back contracting under his skin. Then he leaned over the edge of the bed and swung his legs out.

I heard him yawn, get up from the bed, and take a step forward to look at Hope in the crib.

“He rarely sleeps this long, does he?”, I murmured, Cloud turned back.

I sat up on bed, the sheets falling to my lap.

“Mm.”, he agreed, his tousled hair falling over his eyes, his voice sounding like a whisper. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Cloud.”, I murmured.

“What time is it...?”

“I'm not sure. But it must be close to noon.”

“Mm... souka...”, he covered his mouth with his hand to yawn. “Do you think... you can watch Hope while I take a shower?”

“Of course.”, I nodded. “Take as long as you need.”

...

…

...

We ended up having lunch with Zack's parents that day.

As expected, they asked us a few questions about their son: how he was doing, his position in Soldier (although I had the feeling that they didn't understand the details of what Zack and I did), about his work, and about his mentor.

The questions were light and they didn't press for answers, as I thought they might. Clearly, Zack was the most extroverted member of the family.

Then they asked if he had a girlfriend. I was going to say I didn't know, since it wasn't my place to answer. But Cloud quickly said no.

It was a lie, we both knew it. Zack rarely talked to me about his girlfriend, but I knew she had sent things to Cloud for Hope. Cloud must have known more about the girl, since they talked more.

And it was probably Zack who told him to deny it if asked. Not that I had any right to talk about wanting to hide things or not.

Lunch became more... unpleasant when the conversation turned to our relationship.

Cloud choked trying to answer some things, I tried to answer briefly.

“Your son is adorable.”, said Mrs. Fair, a calm smile on her lips, looking at the baby in his Oka-san's arms. “How old is he, Cloud?”

“Four months.”, Cloud replied.

“Really? So tiny. It must have been quite a difficult journey from Midgar to here.”

“We came from Nibelheim.”, Cloud muttered, and glanced at me, as if to ask how much he could say.

“Cloud's mother lives there.”, I said. It wasn't a complete lie.

“Oh, souka. I'm glad you have help.”, continued Mrs. Fair. “There's nothing better than having a mother with us in the first days.”

“But it must be difficult.”, said Mr. Fair in a friendly tone. “Balancing being a Soldier with having a family. We see it with our Zack. Your job is very busy.”

“Cloud has been taking care of Hope.”, I murmured. “I think that's more demanding.”

“That's really sweet.”, said Mrs. Fair. “Are you staying in Nibelheim, then?”

“Quite far from Midgar.”, Mr. Fair commented.

“Sephiroth... makes a great effort to be with us.”, Cloud said, and we exchanged glances.

"It makes sense why you wanted to come here. It's normal for young couples with a child like you to need some time alone.”

A couple... like us...

It was almost amusing. That performance. As if the circumstances of our union weren't so extensively complicated. As if that night and the past year were a story that could be altered.

However, at that moment, it could. The story we told was reality. I could say that the situation was temporary, until Hope was older and I took Cloud with me to Midgar. Cloud could say that we had met while he was trying to join Soldier, and I would believe him.

The temptation of normality.

And how scared I was that I wanted it so much…

“Mm.”, Cloud agreed, and looked at me again, his blue eyes shining, without Mako, a small smile on his lips. “Thank you so much for letting us stay.”

“You don't have to thank us.”, Mrs. Fair smiled, and I could see the clear resemblance to her son. “Our son's friends are our friends.”

It was a pleasant lunch...

…

...

...

I slowly opened my eyes when I heard the door open with a soft sound, the water filling the bathtub was already lukewarm.

Did I fall asleep...?

I tilted my head back slightly, wet strands of hair sticking to my face.

We had returned from Zack's parents' house a few hours ago. As I washed my hair, I could hear Cloud in the next room talking to Hope.

“Are you hungry?”; Zack's parents are very nice, aren't they?”; “Do you want the mother chocobo or the baby?”

It was funny to hear him talk when it was obvious that Hope couldn't answer. But there was also something... sweet about the way he spoke. It was... pleasant to listen to... and calming enough for me to fall asleep for a few moments.

That is, until I heard the door open and Cloud appear, standing in the doorway.

I realized that maybe I had taken too long.

“Cloud?”, I murmured and turned my face toward him. “Is something wrong?”

“No... it's just... I called you, but you must not have heard me.”, he said, his eyes moving so they wouldn't have to meet mine. “I wanted to know if you wanted dinner? Hope is already tired, so I was going to put him to bed after.”

He forced a small smile, his eyes fixed on the floor.

“I bet... being in Soldier, your days are much more exciting than this.”

If it wasn't an apology, it sounded exactly like one.

“Ie, I enjoyed the day we had, Cloud.” I said and let out a laugh. “You don't have to apologize for our son's needs.”

He suddenly fell silent. Then he parted his lips and closed them again.

I leaned over to pick up the towel I had left folded on the bathroom floor, and after a long pause, he spoke again.

“Mm.”, he finally muttered. “I'm going to... take care of dinner.”

And he left the bathroom.

I stared at the now-closed door for a few more seconds.

Sometimes Cloud was hard to read.

I ran my hand through my hair to push it away from my face as a small smile formed on my lips.

Our son... mm...?

…

...

...

Zack's parents sent us the leftovers from lunch, a typical Gongaga stew. When I came out of the bathroom, already dressed, Cloud was finishing heating it up.

We had dinner, then Cloud fed Hope and put him in his crib.

He started fussing immediately as his Oka-san laid him down.

Cloud sighed, took him out of the crib, and rocked him in his arms.

I was sitting on the bed, following him with my eyes. Cloud rocked him to sleep, his arms wrapped around our son.

It was dark in the room, but my irises followed his gentle movements with interest.

It was strange that everything about Cloud aroused that interest in me. Maybe because they were my son and his mother.

Seeing it was... different.

Cloud put Hope back in the crib and he protested once more, moving around and starting to cry. Cloud had to take him out of the crib again.

“Doesn't he like the crib?”, I asked, getting up from the bed. Cloud turned toward me.

“It seems so.”, he replied.

“Has this happened before? In Nibelheim?”

“No.”, he said. “Yesterday he must have been tired. Today he must have realized that we're not at home.”

“Mm.”, I murmured. “Do you want me to stay with him so you can sleep?”

Cloud gave me... a strange look. Almost frightened.

“No. You don't have to... I can manage...”, he said. “You can sleep. You don't have to worry.”

I studied his face, and Cloud lowered his eyes to avoid my gaze.

“I know.”, I murmured. “But since you're always the one who takes care of Hope, I don't mind helping.”

“It's okay. Of course you can´t, with Soldier and the rest. But it's fine. I can take care of Hope on my own.”

I parted my lips and closed them again, saying nothing.

What is Cloud afraid of?

“I don't doubt that.”, I said. “I know you can take care of Hope.”

He raised his eyes to mine.

“You don't have to do it alone while we are here, Cloud.”

“Mm. I know.”, he whispered and adjusted Hope in his arms.

“I just don't want you to think I can't take care of your son.”

I took a step forward. Cloud was forced to lift his face to look at me, and I lowered mine to face him.

“I would never think that, Cloud.”, I said. It was almost offensive that he thought so little of himself.

Cloud lowered his head, but I decided I wasn't going to let him get away with that so easily.

I reached out and rested my hand lightly on his chin, tilting it up slightly so he would look at me.

“Never.”, I emphasized, his blue irises trembling.

Strangely, he leaned into my touch, moving his face slightly so that my fingers slid down to his cheek.

I felt the burn of his skin, shame.

“I'm sorry.”, he said in a tone so soft and low that I could barely hear him. Perhaps at that moment I was more interested in touching him.

“Iiyo.”

He smiled. Neither of us moved right away, and I continued to look at Cloud, with Hope sleeping in his arms. My eyes lingered on his lips for a while, until he spoke again.

“I'll try to put him back to sleep.”, he murmured. I realized my indiscretion and looked away.

“Mm.”

I let him move away. Cloud returned to the crib to put Hope inside. I followed him with my eyes as he leaned over to lay him down carefully.

Hope didn't stay. I heard Cloud sigh before turning to face me.

“Do you mind if he sleeps with us...?” he murmured. “I think Hope just doesn't like the crib.”

“Of course not.”, I said.

Cloud moved and laid Hope in the center of the bed. He didn't cry, his green eyes moving slowly to look around. Cloud lay down as I moved to the other side of the bed.

Cloud turned sideways to look at Hope. The smile on his face was sweet, one finger closer to Hope's face that he grasped in his small hand.

I lay down, also facing Hope, and he tilted his head slightly to look at me.

His big green eyes were shining, not with the glow of Mako, but with something else.

He raised his other hand and closed it around a few strands of my hair. It was the same color as the little he had, the same silvery shade.

Cloud moved closer to Hope. His hand opened, releasing my hair, and he looked at Oka-san, as I imagined he would.

His eyes began to close. Hope blinked a few times, but eventually succumbed to sleep, his eyelids making the green disappear.

I looked at Cloud, who seemed to have visibly relaxed. His eyes slid from his son to mine.

“Good night, Cloud...”, I whispered.

“Good night...”, he murmured back, his irises trembling in the dark.

Cloud ended up lowering his face further, his chin resting on his chest, probably to avoid my gaze.

But he was still adorable. He still messed with my feelings. He was so close. Hope was too.

I could smell the faint scent of milk, probably from Cloud. The rest was just warmth, the heat of two bodies close to mine. Hope lay between Cloud and me, both of us turned sideways toward him.

Our son...

I slowly closed my eyes.

I wonder how normal we look as a family now…

...

...

…

I woke up to the sound of sheets moving. I slowly opened my eyes, the room was completely dark.

My irises moved slowly in the dark. I could make out Cloud moving slowly, pulling Hope toward him. He lifted his shirt with one hand and brought the baby to his breast to nurse. Hope pressed his lips around one of his mother's nipples.

Clearly, Cloud had done this countless times before. His eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly. If he hadn't moved, I would have been sure he was asleep.

I waited for him to finish. Cloud seemed to have fallen asleep again, Hope was still attached to Oka-san, but his head had fallen back, his lips had slipped off his breast, milk dripping down his chin.

I sat on the bed and picked Hope up slowly, so as not to wake him. Cloud's breathing shook, catching my attention, but he didn't move.

I got up, with Hope in my arms, wiped his face with my hand, and took him to the crib.

I laid him down, and this time, Hope didn't protest. I covered him with the blanket and went back to bed.

I lay down next to Cloud. He moved closer to me. He didn't even open his eyes, he just parted his lips slowly.

“Thank you... Sephi...roth...”

He fell asleep almost immediately. I smiled softly and pulled the sheet over his shoulders.

“Good night, Cloud.”, I murmured, but he didn't hear me.

The next day, we walked around Gongaga. I didn't expect there to be a materia shop in the city center. Cloud stared at the swords in the weapon shop for a few moments. I had already noticed his interest when Angeal was in Nibelheim, with him admiring the Buster Sword. Although it was too massive for Cloud to wield.

There was a young woman selling children's books. I bought one for Hope, even though the girl was shaking so much that I began to wonder if she wanted to sell it or not.

We returned home in the afternoon to change Hope´s diaper and for him to eat and sleep.

“Do you want me to put him in the crib?”, Cloud asked. I was sitting on the living room sofa with Hope lying on my lap, his head resting on my arm.

“Ie. There’s no need.”, I replied.

“Mm.”, Cloud sat down next to me, looking at Hope sleeping.

“Did you talk to Zack?”, I asked. I had heard him on the phone a few minutes earlier.

“Mm. He wanted to know if everything was okay,” he explained. “And if we liked his parents.”

We both looked at Hope when he made a sound with his mouth. Then he moved his head and continued sleeping.

Cloud smiled, then looked up at me.

“I don't think I thanked you for bringing us here.”, he murmured, a gentle smile on his face. “So... thank you.”

“There was no reason for me not to be with you. Ie, I wanted to be with you. Even if it's just for a few days.”

“But you didn't have to.”, Cloud shook his head. “With work and Soldier...”

“But I wanted to. That's what it's all about.”, I said. “And I thought it would be more comfortable outside of Nibelheim.”

I looked away to Hope again.

“Kaa-san—”

“She has her reasons.”, I interrupted. “But the truth is, we couldn't be alone there, could we?”

“No.”, Cloud agreed, with a small smile. “But... still...”

“What, Cloud?” I insisted, and turned my face to look into his eyes, our irises meeting.

He was about to turn his face away, but I held it gently, my fingers molding his jaw.

His lips parted in surprise, then he closed them again.

“I...”, he began. “I'm happy... to be here... with you...”

His statement made my chest shudder. Cloud could sometimes be quite clear about his feelings. But hearing him say it...

I leaned closer to Cloud, a few strands of my hair falling over his face.

“I...”, I hesitated for a second. “I feel the same way about being here with you.”

His eyes widened even more, his face turning slightly red.

My nose brushed against his. I was close enough to hear Cloud's heart beating intensely.

I brought my face closer to his, our lips brushed, he closed his eyes and didn't pull away.

I kissed him, feeling Hope stir in my lap and stop almost immediately.

It was a mere touch of lips. His lips were smaller than mine. I could hear his heart beating, the softness of his mouth on mine.

That night came back to my mind, after being buried for so long. Cloud's lips tasted the same, but the way I touched them was totally different.

I was the one who pulled my face back slightly. Cloud opened his eyes slowly, his face still close to mine, his cheeks completely red.

I parted my lips, but Hope stirred and I turned my face to look at him.

His green eyes were open, looking at us.

Cloud blushed even more.

“My name is Sotetsu. It's a pleasure to meet you!”, said the boy, after stopping us when we were almost at the front door of the house.

“What do you want?”, I asked, apart from the people that greeted us, he was the first one to address us directly.

“Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I'm a friend of Zack's! His parents told me there was a Soldier in town, so...”

I frowned, and the boy bowed deeply.

“Please! Help me train!”

My expression didn't change, and Cloud, with Hope in his arms, looked at me.

“Ie, I'm not interested.”, I said simply.

“I know it's a sudden request, but please! Zack is a Soldier, and I intend to become one too when I'm older.”

I didn't respond, but instead of stopping, he continued.

“And for that, there's nothing better than getting tips directly from a Soldier!”, he bowed even lower. “Please.”

“No.”, I refused, without looking at him.

It was an unreasonable request. Although, being Zack's friend, I wasn't that surprised.

However, I wasn't going to give away any of my time with Cloud and my son. Angeal was good at training others, but that wasn't one of my competences.

And I didn't need more people knowing about my stay in Gongaga.

“But...”

“Cloud.”, I looked at him. “Let's go.”

I started to walk away, and Cloud joined me. I still saw him looking over his shoulder at the other boy.

…

...

...

“...Sephiroth...?”, I looked up from his chest, where Hope was, to his face.

“What's wrong, Cloud?”, I asked.

He pressed his lips together for a moment and didn't look at me as he spoke.

“If I... asked you for help...would you help me...?”

“Are you talking about the boy from this morning?”

He bit his lower lip for a moment and nodded.

“Would you want me to?”, I asked. “For me to help you?”

“I... don't know...”, he admitted. “It's just... he was really brave. Asking you directly. I could never... do that. And... after wanting to join Soldier for so long... I think I know how he feels.”

“Do you think I should have accepted?”

“No!”, his eyes widened, the idea that I thought he was correcting me seemed to disturb him. “I would never...”

“I would help you if you asked me, Cloud.”, I said. “But I'm here with you and Hope, not to help someone else.”

It was more than that. Cloud had put his dream on hold because of me. Because I didn't control my feelings. To give me Hope. If he wanted to become a Soldier, I would support him, even if the idea of him being so close to Shinra was...

“I don't... I don't think you´d had to help me... I mean... waste your time on it. You have so much more to do... as a Class First.”

“I would have done it anyway, Cloud.”, I said. “I wish you had no doubts about that.”

Cloud stared at me, his lips parted.

Then he forced a smile and looked away.

“I don't even know... if I could get in. So...”

He would be so close. And Hope would be too, if he didn´t stay with Claudia in Nibelheim.

Perhaps too close. Shinra, Hojo...

Cloud turned his attention back to Hope and switched him to his other nipple.

Still, I doubt he would leave our son.

I wouldn't leave him either if I could...

I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my face, probably not even 10 minutes had passed since I closed them.

Cloud should have been lying in bed next to me, but instead he was sitting on the edge of it, holding Hope in his arms, rocking him.

I raised my torso, my hair sliding down my back, and Cloud looked up at me.

“I'm sorry...”, he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Did I wake you up?”

“No.”, I replied and sat up in bed. Cloud followed my gaze to Hope.

“Sometimes Hope doesn't sleep.”, he murmured. He had already told me that. He had told Zack, and I had heard the answer, after Zack had asked him if he wasn't sleeping at night.

“You should go back to sleep.”, he murmured and forced a small smile.

I got up from the bed, under his watchful gaze, and walked around it.

“Sephi—”

“No.”, I said simply. “It's your turn to sleep.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but didn't. He just handed Hope to me.

I held him close and walked to the bedroom door.

“Sleep.”, I whispered softly and left the room with Hope. I closed the door behind me and walked through the living room.

It was dark. Like in Nibelheim, there was no noise outside.

I looked at Hope, his big green eyes seemed to be on the verge of tears. Perhaps because he had been taken from his mother.

“Let's let Oka-san sleep...”, I murmured, he continued to look at me, and I almost had the feeling that he understood what I was saying. Perhaps it was because of this look that Cloud talked so much with Hope.

I held him close to my chest and walked slowly across the room.

....

...

...

When Hope fell asleep, it was already dawn, the darkness replaced by the faint light coming through the windows.

It was difficult to know what to do when I didn't understand why Hope was crying. He had just eaten, and I wasn't going to wake Cloud up again.

So the only thing I could do was rock him, the movement calmed him down. When I stopped, Hope started crying again, and this cycle lasted long enough for him to succumb to exhaustion.

I went into the bedroom, where Cloud was sleeping soundly on the bed, lying on his stomach, his form beneath the sheets moving slowly as he breathed quietly.

I carefully laid Hope on the crib. He stayed there without protest, and I covered him with the blanket.

I went back to bed and lay down. I felt myself relax against the mattress and pulled the sheets up.

Although I was sure Cloud was asleep, he moved closer to me and turned his face in my direction.

“Did he fall asleep...?”, he whispered, his eyes closed.

“Yes.”, I replied and turned sideways toward him, Cloud did the same.

“Thank you...”, he murmured, and opened his eyes slightly, just enough for me to see blue. “I know... it can be difficult.”

“He's my son.”, I murmured slowly. “Being difficult doesn't matter.”

Cloud reached out and touched my face. It was a gentle touch, his fingertips barely grazing my cheek.

“Thank you...”, he murmured.

“I'm the one who should be thanking you.”, I said. “You're the one taking on the biggest responsibility, Cloud. I know that.”

“Ie. You're a Soldier. It's normal that...”

“Hope is still my son. Being a Soldier doesn't change anything.”

Would it change if I weren't? Would Cloud see things from my perspective? Would he be able to breathe more easily around me?

His eyes were more open now, even though they were still marked by sleep.

Our faces were close, I felt his breath touch my cheek, warm and soft.

I moved closer to Cloud, my nose brushing against his, his breath shuddering, but Cloud continued to look me in the eyes.

“You should sleep.”, I murmured.

He parted his lips, they brushing lightly against mine.

“Mm...”

Cloud moved even closer, his eyelids closing over his eyes.

We kissed slowly. I felt Cloud's warm breath, his lips on mine.

It didn't last. Cloud was too tired and vulnerable. That he was so close and warm was going to affect my judgment.

I pulled Cloud toward me, heard his breathing shake again. I wrapped my arms around his body, Cloud's face pressed against my chest.

He lifted his face slightly to look at me. Even in the dark, I could see how red his cheeks were.

“Good night, Cloud.”, I whispered. He buried his head in my chest to hide his face.

“Good night.”

Adorable...

“They didn't know which direction to take...”, I murmured and looked at Hope. His hand was closed around my hair, rubbing it between his small fingers. “So they decided to try their luck and go left.”

I showed Hope the picture in the book. He let go of my hair to grab the page of the book, I pulled his hand away before he could put it in his mouth.

I continued reading him the story, the book we had bought at the market. Although Hope didn't understand, he seemed interested. Either that or because I didn't mind him playing with my hair in the meantime. Cloud was in the kitchen, making dinner.

When I heard a knock at the door, I looked up from the book and was about to get up, but Cloud had already left the kitchen and headed for the door.

“I'll get it.”, he said. I turned my attention back to the book.

“Since the left wasn't correct, they decided to try the right...”, I muttered, Hope put my hair in his mouth, his eyes fixed on the illustrated image.

“Good evening.”, the voice immediately caught my attention. “I was told there was a Soldier here.”

There was a moment of silence that followed, I closed the book and got up from the sofa with Hope.

“But it seems they were mistaken.”, the person continued. I walked around the sofa and headed for the door.

I stopped suddenly when I saw who was there. Cloud turned his face toward me, and the other man's eyes followed his gaze.

Genesis...

His eyes widened when he saw me, as surprised as I was.

Why is he here...?

The surprise seemed to pass quickly. He looked at me, then at Hope, who was still in my arms. His gaze made me pull my son closer to me, which was not a smart move, Genesis noticed.

His eyes shifted to Cloud, who took a step back from Genesis' cold stare. He studied him for a long time.

“Souka...”, Genesis finally said, a small smile appearing on his lips. “So this is where you've been hiding...”

“Genesis.”, I began, unsure whether to tell him to leave or to say that it was none of his business.

But Genesis had seen. Me, Cloud. And Hope, whom I could have denied under other circumstances, but not when he was in my arms, the similarities between us undeniable.

“Ie, never mind.”, he said and turned away. “There's some kind of problem with the reactor. I'm sure a Class First should be enough to fix it.”

He left and closed the door.

If I hadn't had Hope in my arms, I would have gone after him. Genesis' silence was significantly worse than his words.

Cloud looked at me. His blue eyes wide open, his irises blinking.

Fear.

And if I had been worried about Genesis before, now I was angry.

“Sephiroth.”, Cloud's voice woke me from my thoughts, and I felt Hope's hand grab my hair. “Who was... that?”

“Genesis...”, I murmured, and gently removed my son's hand from my hair, placing it on his chest. “He's...”

A friend? Perhaps. Even though things between us had begun to deteriorate a long time ago. That's what I wanted to believe, that he is still my friend.

But it was an illusion: if it were true, I would have told him. About Cloud, about Hope. About all the things that distanced me from Shinra.

I would gladly give him my title of “hero” if I could.

Cloud continued to look at me, searching for answers, while Hope grabbed my hair again.

“He's a Class First, like me.”, I admitted. “And I could say he's a friend, although I'm not sure.”

I pulled Hope's hand out of my hair again. It doesn't usually bother me, but I have to think about what to do now.

My son didn't like it and started kicking, trying to grab my hair with both hands.

Cloud reached out his hands, probably to take him from my arms, but I just let Hope grab my hair as he wanted.

“I'm going to call Zack to come pick you up.”, I finally announced, the words harder to say than I could admit.

“What...?”, Cloud looked confused.

“I'm sorry.”, I muttered and handed Hope over to him. “I have to confront Genesis about this. And I'd rather you and Hope weren't here.”

“Isn't he your friend?”, it wasn't an accusation.

“It's more complicated than that.”, I walked away toward the bedroom, where my phone was.

I dialed Zack's number. It rang once and he answered right away.

“Moshi Moshi—”

“I need you in Gongaga.”, I said.

“What? What's going on? Is Cloud okay? Is Hope okay?!”

“They are.”, I controlled the urge to move the phone away from my ear to avoid Zack's loud voice. “I need you to come get them.”

“Eh? Wasn't it supposed to be tomorrow?”

“Something came up that I have to take care of.”

“Weren't you on vacation?”

“Genesis showed up in Gongaga.”, I said, and he fell silent. “I have to talk to him, but I don't want Cloud and Hope here.”

“Aren't you overreacting? I mean... I know Genesis is a little... but he's a Soldier, right? He wouldn't do anything, would he?”

I thought about the cold way Genesis had looked at Hope, and even more so at Cloud.

I would easily give him my title of “hero,” but if Genesis handed me over to Shinra, that would mean sacrificing both Cloud and Hope. Handing them over to Shinra. Handing my son over to Hojo.

“I need you to do this, Zack.”, I whispered. “Please.”

“...Mm. I understand.”, he finally said. “I need a few hours, but I'll be there. Just... explain it to Cloud, okay? He's not a Soldier. It'll be harder for him to understand this.”

“Agreed.”

“I'll call you later.”

“Mm.”

I hung up and went back to the living room. Cloud was sitting on the couch with Hope on his lap.

I walked across the room and sat down next to him. He slowly looked away from our son and toward me.

“You don't have to apologize.”, he murmured before I could speak. “I understand. You didn't want him to know. Or other people from Shinra...”

“You and Hope didn't need that kind of attention.”, I said.

“Souka...”, Cloud lowered his eyes. “And do you think... he'll tell? That he saw us...?”

“Maybe.”, I murmured, even though I had the strange feeling that Genesis would rather throw it in my face first. “The point is, if he's on an official mission, other Shinra members may show up. It's not safe for you and Hope to stay here.”

They may have sent Genesis alone, or they may have sent a unit. Getting them away from here is the most important thing.

“Cloud...”

“I know.”, he murmured and shook his head. “I'm sorry.”

“You didn't do anything wrong.”, I murmured. “I should have been more careful.”

He turned his face toward me and placed his hand on mine. I felt Cloud's smaller fingers wrap around mine.

It was strange that he was trying to comfort me when he was clearly struggling to deal with his own feelings.

He smiled at me, his gentle blue eyes fixed on mine.

“It was fun, wasn't it?”

Several hours later, Zack entered the house, the door closing behind him.

“Yo.”, he greeted me. “Cloud?”

“He's in the bedroom with Hope.”

“Mm.”, he crossed his arms. “I spoke with the pilot, Cid? It was a bit difficult to get in touch with him. But he said it was okay to do it today instead of tomorrow. He's waiting at the landing spot.”

“Mm.”, nodded.

“And you, Sephiroth? What are you going to do now?”

“I'm going to talk to Genesis.”, I replied.

“Mm, souka. How's Cloud?”

“He'll be better once you get him safely to Nibelheim.”

“Did you at least explain it to him?”, Zack asked, frowning. “You know that even with everything, he's still just a kid, right?”

“I explained it to him.”, I said and turned my back on Zack. “I'll go get him.”

“Hai.”

I entered the room. Cloud was lying on his side, Hope lying next to his chest. He sat up almost immediately on the bed.

“Was it Zack?”, he asked, and I nodded.

He picked up Hope and lifted him up with him, the bag already done, resting at the foot of the bed.

“Hey, man.”, Zack entered the room with a friendly smile. “Ready to go?”

“Yes.”

“Great, because we really have to go.”, he said.

“Mm.”, Cloud looked at me. “I'll let you know when I arrive.”

“I'm going to Nibelheim when I've sorted this out.”, I said.

He nodded, Zack grabbed the bag and left the room, Cloud behind him.

Neither of us said goodbye.

I couldn't stop him from leaving, despite the unpleasant feeling in my chest.

We were going to have to part eventually. Whether it was today or tomorrow, Cloud would have to go home, and I would have to go back to Midgar.

But it was fun... pretending this time would never end.

Hmph, how strange it is now not to have someone to grab my hair...

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

Genesis had already left Gongaga. I still went to the reactor, unsure if he had fulfilled his purpose there or if he had turned back and left the problem for me to solve.

I found nothing unusual in the Makoro, nor anyone.

All I could do was go back. That, and not think about how Cloud and I had to part ways.

I walked through the corridors of the Soldier floor. I was almost certain I knew where to find him. He left knowing he had the advantage, but he clearly knew I would look for him.

The door to the training room opened and I entered.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”, Angeal had his back turned to the door, his sword was leaning against the wall in the back of the room.

“Spare me your lies, Angeal.”, Genesis also had his back to the door, his voice sharp. “Or are you going to make me believe that you didn't know what was going on with Sephiroth?”

“I'm saying I don't know what you're talking about.”, Angeal turned to face Genesis. “What's going on with Sephiroth?”

“Are you really going to take his side?”, Genesis' voice conveyed more shock than irritation.

Angeal opened his mouth to reply, but saw me enter the room and fell silent. Genesis turned to look at me.

“Did your vacation end earlier?”

“And you know perfectly well whose fault it is.”, I retorted and stopped at a distance, our positions forming a triangle in relation to each other.

“What happened?”, Angeal asked, crossing his arms.

“I was called at the last minute for a mission in Gongaga.”, said Genesis, Angeal's expression betrayed him. “I didn't even get to Act three. Want to guess who I found there, Angeal?”

“If I had known there was a mission in that area, I would have accepted it.”, I said.

“Unfortunately, no one knew where you were.”, said Genesis, and he gave Angeal a sharp look. “Or almost no one.”

“Genesis.”, Angeal began.

“Angeal has nothing to do with this.”, I declared and narrowed my eyes at Genesis. “Neither do you.”

“Are you telling me Angeal didn't know?”, he asked, his blue eyes colder than my own.

“What happened in Gongaga?”, Angeal intervened, taking a step forward. Genesis turned to him so violently that Angeal stopped in his tracks, frozen under his sharp gaze.

“Who do you think I found there, Angeal? You should know.”

“I told you Angeal has nothing to do with this.”, I insisted.

“Angeal continues to insist on lying to me.”

“The truth was not mine to tell, Genesis.”, Angeal defended himself.

“And does your honor allows you to lie because of that, Angeal?”

“It allows me to keep a friend's confession.”

“Then you already know what I found in Gongaga.”, Genesis spat and turned to me, his hand stretched in my direction. It was almost as if he were pointing his sword at me. “Your confession, Sephiroth.”

“I have nothing to confess to you.”

“Really? If that's the case, why are you so upset?”, he asked. “Or is that kid so important that he moved you this much?”

A small, mocking laugh escaped his lips, still he didn't smile.

“Honestly, I just want to know what you're thinking. I didn't know you had fathered a child. Or that you had the courage to do so.”

He twisted his wrist, in a movement similar to that of a sword, twisting to bury itself deeper into flesh.

His gesture repulsed me.

“Am I wrong? The child you had in your arms belongs to you, correct?”

“Will what I say change your opinion, Genesis?”, I asked.

“He has your eyes, at least that's undeniable. And your hair. And I don't think there are many children you care about.”

It wasn't a lie. What he had seen left no room for doubt. Unless he preferred to believe it wasn't true, something Genesis would never do.

He stared at me, his eyes cold, his irises focused on mine.

“Is this what the hero Sephiroth does in his spare time?”

“Do you think I have a son to entertain myself?”, I retorted, even if I knew that answering Genesis was the worst thing to do. But the prospect was just so ridiculous that I couldn't keep it to myself. A hobby?

It had to be a joke. But Genesis wasn't smiling, and neither was I.

“Isn't playing house just entertainment for a Class First? I mean... for a hero? Isn't that what you were doing?”

“Our ideas of fun are very different.”, was my reply. “What you're suggesting is...”

If Genesis hadn't turned his back. If we had had that conversation in Gongaga, in front of Cloud. Would Cloud have believed it? It's possible. Especially since it came from another Class First.

How detestable... if he were to believe something like that.

“A lie.”, I added.

“Souka...? And? Who is he?”

“Didn't you look at him long enough?”

“Huh, I realized he's a child. Which is unexpected.”

I ignored the comment. Angeal had told me the same thing, even if in other words.

I probably couldn't see him that way anymore, after everything. After that night, after he brought Hope into the world. Even though he was young, seeing Cloud as a child was impossible.

“But is that all? He must be someone special to have won you over.”, Genesis continued. He seemed to have memorized the words, the ease with which he said them, as if he were reading Loveless. “Or is it just the novelty of having a lover, Sephiroth? Someone to entertain you personally?”

“Is that how you see your relationship with Angeal? That he entertains you? Or that you entertain him?”

Genesis turned to Angeal, a clearly accusatory look on his face, his kips parting.

“I didn't tell him anything, Genesis.”, Angeal said before the accusation could be heard.

“You didn't have to.”, I thought of saying, but it was unnecessary.

Genesis looked even angrier, his lips pressed tightly together. His eyes were cold, but that didn't hide how hot his blood was boiling.

“So he's your lover...?”, he muttered, his lips pressed together in displeasure. “Or just some boy who spread his legs and seduced you, Sephiroth? Or that had your child to tie you down?”

My lips parted slightly for a moment.

“That's enough, Genesis.”, Angeal's voice rang out, loud and strong. “You're going too far. You don't know the boy. Those kinds of accusations...”

Surprise gave way to an unpleasant taste in my mouth. The word lover had a dirty, sexual connotation. That it was Cloud who seduced me, as if he hadn't given up everything after I forced myself on him in the streets of Nibelheim. And tying me with a child, for whom he postponed his own dream, after carrying it inside his own body and going through the pains of childbirth.

Genesis had no way of knowing this. But the suggestions he made, even in ignorance, were...

Infuriating.

“Are you telling me you never thought about it, Angeal?”, spat Genesis. “Tsk, this seems to be the story of a poorly made play.”

“That doesn't give you the right—", began Angeal.

“And you're defending him?”, Genesis cut him off. “What do you know, Angeal? Aside from what Sephiroth told you, what do you really know?”

“That this discussion is going too far!”, Angeal replied. “Please, Genesis...”

“Angeal.”, I called. He looked at me and fell silent, his arms crossed over his chest again.

“You can think what you want, Genesis.”, I murmured. “I just ask that you don't share what you saw.”

“Are you trying to protect him or your reputation, Sephiroth?”

“You're the only one who cares about those things. I don't want the attention. And they don't need it.”

“You're not going to let them take advantage of your fame? Souka...”, murmured Genesis. “You can rest assured, I have no intention of revealing your secret.”

His cold eyes continued to burn with hatred.

“Not that I care, honestly.”, he clarified. “Who you take, who you impregnate, it doesn't interest me.”

His blue eyes met mine, my expression unchanged.

“But you are the Soldier par excellence. What you do reflects on all of us. If your indiscretions become known, everyone will think that Soldier is like that. That we are all like that.”

“Humans...?”, I asked.

Genesis didn't answer, and the look he gave me was indecipherable.

“You can't have both, Sephiroth.”, he murmured after a moment of silence. “The goddess's blessing is only one. If you try to have both...”

His tone became more bitter.

“Everything will rot.”

“!”

Angeal's lips parted in shock, my irises didn't even flinch.

“Is that a threat?”

“A premonition, if you will.”

“Stay away from him, Genesis.”, I warned. “And from my son. Unless you want to see which one of us rots first.”

“Stop it, both of you.”, Angeal said, stepping between us as Genesis and I continued to stare at each other. “Regardless of what you think of each other's attitudes, you are still friends. And if not for that, you are both Soldiers. We don't fight among ourselves.”

“You're right, Angeal.”, muttered Genesis, his blue eyes burning. "Maybe you should give up your place in Soldier, Sephiroth. Make room for a new hero. One who doesn't go around having children with village boys.”

Of course it's my place he wants. It would be ridiculous to think otherwise.

“It's all yours, Genesis. You can be the new hero.”

“Hmph.”, he moved toward the exit, ending our exchange of glances. “I wonder if your lover would still want you without that.”

He walked through the door and left the training room, his red coat the last thing to disappear.

I stood still, staring at the now closed door, my lips sealed in a line.

Genesis... can be really despicable...

“We should... you should have told him.”, Angeal murmured.

“Ie. This is exactly why I didn't want him to know.”, I said.

“Yes, Genesis overreacted.”, admitted Angeal, rubbing his chin, clearly uncomfortable. “But he must have felt betrayed... finding out like that.”

I looked away towards Angeal. I too had felt betrayed when I discovered why my two friends had begun to drift away from me. Neither of them had told me, but it wasn't hard to figure it out. They had come from the same village, after all. They had known each other much longer than they had known me. It was no surprise that their relationship had evolved in that way.

Angeal sighed.

“You shouldn't have threatened Genesis.”, he murmured.

“What did you expect me to say?”

“I expected you not to answer. You rarely lose your composure like this.”

“I'm rarely asked if I make children as a way of entertainment.”

Angeal snorted, a nasal sound. Even he found the prospect ridiculous.

“You should talk. When you're calmer,”, he said. “What exactly happened in Gongaga?”

“Genesis showed up at the house we were staying in. Cloud opened the door. I was with Hope.”

“Hum. I bet it was easy to draw conclusions.”, he nodded. “Did he say anything?”

“If he had, I wouldn't have waited until we were in Midgar to talk.”, I said.

“You did the right thing, only talking here.”, he muttered, and I think what Angeal meant was “to wait until I was present and could calm things down.”

I thought about what Genesis had said: “I wonder if your lover would still want you without that.”

...Would he...? It's... hard to say.

No... it couldn't just be his admiration. It couldn't just be because they called me a hero.

No... it couldn't...

“Anyway, I'll try to talk to Genesis.”, he muttered.

“I was serious about what I said.”, I emphasized. “You should tell him that.”

“I'll tell him you weren´t.”

“You shouldn't. He won't believe me like he believes you.”

Angeal stared at me. Someone who would do anything to maintain harmony and honor couldn't understand.

“You're the lover, after all...”

Narrator

“Is everything okay?”, Aerith asked, crouching over the bed of flowers, phone in hand.

“Mm. Sorry for leaving without saying anything. When Sephiroth called me, it seemed really urgent.”, replied the Soldier, pacing around the room.

Aerith just laughed.

“I admit I was a little scared when you left so quickly.”

“Ahh, Gomen.”, he said, stopping and scratching the back of his head, embarrassed. “I'm sorry for leaving our date halfway through.”

“Mm hm.”, Aerith shook her head. “It's okay, you had to help your friends.”

The yellow flowers glowed in the sun. Zack eventually started walking in circles again.

“But because of that, you owe me two more dates! One for this one and another to make up for it,.”, Aerith said, trying to sound serious and “threatening,” but she couldn't help smiling. “Did you hear me?”

“Hai hai.”, Zack smiled too. “When I come back. It's a promise.”

“Are you still in Nibelheim?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Hm. Souka... How's Cloud doing?”

Zack looked toward the bedrooms, where his friend should still be sleeping.

“Fine. Although planes are clearly not for him. Claudia-san let me use the sofa so I wouldn't have to go back right away.”

“Oh, that was very nice of her.”

“Hmm, yes, it was.”, Zack agreed.

“And Hope? How is he?”, Aerith asked cheerfully. She had already seen a photo of the baby and thought he was incredibly cute. She didn't know Sephiroth, so she couldn't see the similarities between father and son, but the big green eyes and small face were so adorable!

Of course, there shouldn't have been any photos of Hope. Zack had taken it without asking Cloud's permission, let alone Sephiroth's. He had felt bad for taking a photo like that behind everyone's back, like one of those crazy paparazzi, but it had been impossible to avoid! Like, Aerith had heard so much about the baby, and had even sent things for him. It would probably be years before she got to meet him. It was just one photo, a single one. Hidden on his phone, which Zack had taken to show Aerith (and felt somewhat guilty about doing so).

Zack could understand why Sephiroth demanded such secrecy. People were completely crazy about him. The Silver Elite was proof of that. It wasn't just because he was a hero; their interest was much stranger and more personal than that.

So Zack didn't even want to imagine what people would do if they found out he had a son. They would go completely insane! And of course, they would eventually find out about Cloud's identity, and the boy would have no peace either. And dealing with Sephiroth's fans... was quite demanding.

So a photo could ruin everything. But he took it and showed it to Aerith, she was so happy!

It was totally worth it...

“He...”, Zack hesitated, trying to organize his own thoughts. “It's strange to say, but I think he misses his dad.”

“Sephiroth?”

“Mm. He was really upset last night. Not even Cloud could calm him down.”

“Souka... that's... really sad, isn't it? I know you in Soldier have a lot of responsibilities... but still...”

“I don't know what happened, but Sephiroth went to fix it so he could come back. So don't worry! He might even be on his way back to Nibelheim right now.”

Aerith smiled. She knew Zack was just trying to cheer her up, but his effort was so kind that she had no choice but to believe him.

“Mm. I hope so.”, the young woman smiled.

“Zack...?” Zack looked back; Cloud had left the room and was a few steps away from him.

Zack put the phone down for a moment to talk to his friend.

“Good morning, Cloud. How are you?”, it was definitely a stupid question. Cloud had deep circles under his eyes, he was pale, his hair was messy and fell over his eyes.

The last time he had seen him looking so bad, he was still pregnant with Hope and the nausea was killing him. Apparently, a plane trip and a baby who wouldn't stop crying had the same effect, if not worse.

“Fine.”, replied the boy. “Is that Aerith?”

“Uh!”, Zack seemed to remember at that moment that he was talking to his girlfriend on the phone. “Aerith, sorry. Are you still there?”

“Haiiii. Is that Cloud?”, asked the girl on the other end of the line.

“Yes.”

“Send him kisses. And Hope.”

“Aerith sends you and Hope kisses.”

“Ah.”, the boy's lips parted, embarrassed by Aerith's words. “Mm.”

“He sent you kisses too.”

“Eh? Really? I didn't hear him.”

“Cloud is far away. It's normal that you can't hear him.”

“Mm. If you say so...”, Aerith didn't seem convinced at all. “Well, tell him he has to come to Midgar next time!”

“Mm. I'll tell him.”, Zack agreed. “I have to go now, Aerith. I'll call you later.”

“Okay. Until then.”

And they both hung up, almost at the same time. Zack turned fully towards Cloud.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No.”, Cloud replied. “I was already awake.”

“Souka...”

Zack sat down on the sofa and Cloud came to sit next to him.

“Thanks for coming.”, Cloud murmured.

“No need to thank me. I was surprised, because Sephiroth never calls me.”, Zack spoke in a light tone, then gave his friend a gentle nudge with his elbow. “Ne ne, how did it go? You know... before yesterday.”

“It was good...”, Cloud smiled. “Sephiroth was really...”

He didn't finish.

“Really...?”, Zack pressed lightly.

“It's... hard to explain.”, Cloud admitted.

Zack felt somewhat relieved. Cloud could be really sweet sometimes. Just talking about Sephiroth seemed to make him happier.

“It was fun. With him and Hope. It was the first time we'd been... alone for so long.”, the boy's cheeks were slightly red. “And he always took care of Hope. So I could sleep and stuff.”

“Well done, Sephiroth!”, Zack thought, and even nodded, but Cloud didn't notice. Zack looked at his friend, who still seemed to be thinking about what to say. Or maybe about the memories he had brought back from Gongaga. “He must really like you, Cloud.”

But honestly, what was there not to like?

“That's good.”, said Zack. “I'm happy for you guys. Really.”

Cloud smiled at him. Even tired, he could be cute.

“And that's what matters, isn't it?”, Zack continued. “That you got to enjoy being together with Sephiroth and Hope.”

“Mm.”

“And besides, it won't be the only time! Aerith said you guys should come to Midgar next.”

“Thanks, Zack. But I don't think I'll be flying anytime soon.”, the mere memory seemed to make him nauseous.

Cloud looked away.

“And I don't think... Sephiroth would want that either.”

Zack looked at his friend for a few moments before speaking.

“You know it's just because he cares about you, about you both, right?”, Zack murmured.

“Mm. I don't think I understood before. I thought he was ashamed. I mean... Sephiroth is a hero... and I'm just...”

“You know Sephiroth doesn't think that, right...?”, Zack murmured.

“I think... yes... I think I understand now why he was—”

It wasn't fear. Cloud would never think that. A hero like Sephiroth didn't feel fear.

"...why he doesn't want us near Midgar.”

“...it was really bad luck, you know? That Genesis went to Gongaga. That you guys were there. Under normal circumstances, this would never have happened.”, Zack said. “And Genesis... he's not bad, at least that's what Angeal says.”

“Ie, Sephiroth also said they were friends. But it was... weird. Honestly, I was sure he was going to attack me.”

“He wouldn't do that...and Sephiroth wouldn't let him do that either.”, Zack wasn't 100 percent sure about Genesis. But he was a Soldier, right? He wasn't going to attack Cloud just because!

A small smile appeared on Cloud's face. Or maybe he forced it. It was more sad than happy.

“I know that Class Firsts are on another level, that normal people can't compare to you. But seeing them...”

Cloud paused to take a breath before finishing.

“I think I really felt the difference between us...”

He fell silent. Clearly, the encounter with Genesis had shaken him...

There had been something too real in those blue eyes that had stared at him so piercingly. Something much more intense than the Mako that gave them that supernatural glow.

It was the realization that people like Genesis were in a completely different league. The grandeur, the constant threat of how strong they were. How dangerous they could be.

Cloud had never seen that in Sephiroth. Of course, he admired him (or worshipped him, more like a god than an idol), and things between them had been distant enough for Cloud to truly understand the gap.

And Sephiroth acted in a clearly more “human” way around the boy.

But Genesis did not. Like the magic he so proudly wielded, the fire in his eyes never cooled. The power of a Class First. Of the Soldier´s elite.

And with Genesis in front of him and Sephiroth behind him, Cloud had felt like a joke. He had never had so many doubts as when Genesis studied him with his eyes. His mouth had gone dry, he had instinctively backed away as if the proximity to the Class First could burn him.

How different they were. How weak Cloud was. Why the hell was Sephiroth there with him? How come he was there holding their son and not the one he had with someone else?

Cloud was clearly drowning in something bad. Zack did the obvious, placing his hand on top of his head and ruffling his blond hair.

“Come on, man. Nobody thinks like that. Who cares if he's a Soldier and you're not? Aerith literally sells flowers, and I never felt like we were that different. Sometimes I think I don't deserve her, but never the other way around.”

He rubbed his hair harder, as if he wanted to plant the words he was saying directly into his head.

“You know? Don't be so hard on yourself. You should trust yourself more, Cloud. Like I trust you. Angeal liked you too, and Hope loves you. What do you have doubts about?”

Cloud thought about telling Zack that it was normal for Hope to love him since he was his mother, but he didn't have the courage with his friend being so nice.

“Thanks, Zack...”, he muttered and smiled at him.

“No need to thank me.”, Zack gave him a light punch on the arm. “That's what friends do, remember?”

Cloud smiled even more. His dark circles no longer seemed so deep, nor his face so pale.

“Thanks, Zack...”

And Zack thought that Sephiroth was really lucky...

Sephiroth

"We've arrived in Nibelheim. Everything is fine. I hope I haven't caused any trouble.”

-Cloud.

I read the message two or three times. I should have called Cloud, but I didn't. Going to Nibelheim was also impossible with the work that had piled up and with a new trip to Junon.

The atmosphere between me and Genesis didn't improve in the following days. He avoided me, and I respected his decision. Angeal was clearly torn, but I think they eventually made up. I wasn't upset with Angeal, and I didn't mind that they were back to normal. Genesis's problem was with me, not with Angeal.

After a week, things were as normal as they could be, although I didn't think they would ever be the same between us again.

Zack ended up coming to my office, but I sent him away. I had too much work to do while thinking about what to say to Cloud when I eventually went to Nibelheim, which happened a week later.

It was Cloud who opened the door after I knocked softly. It was late, too late. All the lights were off. The sound of rain falling on the ground and hitting the window was the only audible sound, overlapping the silence of the night.

I thought I would have to go in and wake Cloud up. But he opened the door, his blue eyes shining in the dark.

He must have been asleep, judging by the way his tousled hair fell over his sunken eyes. He wasn't wearing a shirt, milk dripping down his chest, his nipples looking redder against his pale skin.

My hair was starting to stick to my face, the rain falling incessantly.

“Cloud...”

I fell silent, my lips parted. I stared at Cloud, his shorter figure at the door, his face raised to look at me, his lips also slightly parted.

“Se...phiroth...”, he murmured slowly. And my name tasted good on his mouth.

Thinking so hard about kissing him snapped me out of that trance.

“Sorry for the hour. I know it's late.”, I said, not that it justified anything. I should have come earlier. I should have called him.

“No. It's okay.”, he murmured. “Please come in.”

Cloud entered the house and I followed. I could hear Hope crying almost immediately. The crib was in the living room, next to the sofa, where Cloud must have been sleeping, judging by the scattered blankets. The lights were off, only the light coming in through the window dimly illuminating the space.

Hope stopped crying when Cloud picked him up, but he continued to sniffle.

“Did something happen...?”, I murmured, and Cloud lifted his face from the baby to look at me. For a moment, something like fear made his irises flicker.

“No. It's just... a difficult night. I brought him here to let Kaa-san sleep.”

“Souka...” I brushed the wet hair from my face.

“Let me just... I'll get you a towel...”

“You don't have to worry.”, I said. I took off my gloves, which were also wet, and left them on the sofa.

The movement caught Hope's attention. He looked at me with big green eyes, turning his face away from Oka-san's chest to look at me.

“I think he missed you.”, Cloud whispered and handed Hope to me.

He didn't stay, kicking almost immediately when his small body came into contact with the wet material of my coat. Cloud took him back before he started crying for real.

I unbuttoned my jacket and took it off, placing it on the sofa as well. Cloud just watched, silently.

When the cold clothes were no longer a problem, he handed Hope back to me. I held him closer to my face so I could look at him, and, above all, so he could grab my hair, which he did almost immediately.

I looked into my son's eyes. Green, bright, shaped like Cloud's. He was no longer sniffling, clinging to my hair.

“Did you finish reading him the book...?”, I simply murmured, and Cloud moved closer to us.

“I don't think so. I'm sorry.”

“Ie. You don't have to apologize.”, I lifted my face to look at Cloud.

Neither of us said anything else. Eventually, I handed Hope over to Cloud when he had had enough of playing with my hair. Cloud rocked him for a moment longer and placed him in his crib.

I saw his shoulders relax visibly when Hope made no more noise, just the soft sound of his slow breathing.

Then he turned to me.

“There's... another… one of your coats... if you want it...” Cloud murmured, and I knew how hard it must be for him to admit that he had kept my jacket.

“No.”, I refused. “It's yours.”

I had already noticed the coat, spread out with two other blankets on the sofa. The fact that he had kept it and continued to wear it intrigued me.

“No, it's not.”, Cloud said, blushing. “It's yours. You can... take it whenever you want...”

“Why? You clearly use it.”, I said and sat down on the sofa. “And it was a gift anyway...”

Cloud sat down next to me, looking one last time at the crib. We whispered now, so as not to wake our son.

“Still...”

“Isn't that why you keep it?”, I asked softly. “Because it's a gift?”

I don't think he would keep it for the memories. Giving him my coat was a kindness after... that night.

He smiled.

“It's your coat... how could I not keep it...?”, he smiled, his eyes shining even brighter in the dark.

For a moment, I thought about what Genesis had said, a bitter doubt in my mind: would Cloud feel the same if I weren't the hero he so admired...? Would he still want something from me (the coat, Hope) if I weren't a Class First?

It's useless to think about these things...

Cloud yawned, reminding me that it was really late.

The sofa was too small for both of us. That didn't stop me from lying down, with my back against the sofa and my legs bent, since the sofa was too small for me alone.

Cloud let me pull him up so I could lay him on my chest. His body was soft and tired, and he was small and light enough for me to move him easily. Despite how tired he was, I could hear Cloud's heart beating frantically.

I laid him on his back, on my chest, between my bent legs. His skin was warm, much warmer than mine, seeming to burn my abdomen.

Even with his heart beating hard, Cloud let himself stay there, his head resting on my shoulder, his hands moving only to pull the blankets and my jacket over him.

I wasn't cold. Not with Cloud so close to me. Even his scent was warm, like milk, like Oka-san. Probably a scent that Hope recognized as home.

“Why did you kept the coat, Cloud...?”, I murmured, and again he rested his head on my chest.

“I thought I'd never see you again...”, he confessed. “Nibelheim... there was no reason for you to come back, unless it was because of the Makoro.”

I thought for a moment about what he really wanted to tell me.

“You weren't going to tell me.”, I whispered, not as a question.

“No...”, Cloud murmured. “I didn't think you'd come back. And even if you did... I didn't think you'd believe me.”

He forced a low, self-deprecating laugh.

“It wasn't very believable... I understand that. We just...”

I understood what he meant. It had only been once (or twice or three times, even though he was too close for me to think about those things), but it had been enough for our blood to mix.

“Why did you change your mind...?”, I murmured, the idea that he was going to have my child and never tell me was... unpleasant.

“Zack... he found the coat. I hadn't told my mother, but I told him. And Zack... he said I had to tell you. That it was unfair... that you didn't know...”

I brought my hand to Cloud's face and turned it toward me, his lips parting.

“Sephiroth...” he sighed, his voice dangerously resembling a moan.

“Do you regret it, Cloud...?”, I whispered slowly. “Telling me?”

His blue eyes shone in the dark, his lips slightly parted.

“N-no...”, he murmured, his irises meeting mine. “Do you regret it? Knowing?”

His voice sounded low, muffled. I felt something like desire, hot and heavy between my legs.

“No.”, I murmured, ignoring the sensation. “I'm grateful... that you told me...”

I heard his heart beating even faster. I slowly let go of his face and pressed him against my chest again.

“You should sleep now.”, I murmured. Cloud was tired. That was more important than whatever I wanted.

He relaxed, burying himself deeper into my chest.

“Good night...”, he whispered, his voice marked by sleep.

“Good night, Cloud...”

...

...

…

I woke up a few hours later, with the first rays of sunlight coming through the window. I opened my eyes slowly to find Cloud's sleeping face below, his eyelids covering his closed blue eyes.

I slowly slid my hand across his face. I was in the same position I had fallen asleep in, he was half turned on his side, between my arms, pressed against my chest.

I spent a few moments looking at him, his slow breath escaping softly from his parted lips.

I slowly got up from the bed and took Cloud with me. I got up from the sofa with him in my arms, one of the blankets fell to the floor, the coat continued to cover his torso.

I walked to Cloud's room and put him on the bed. His breathing shuddered when I laid him on the mattress, but he continued to sleep.

I went back to the living room and took Hope out of the crib. Like Oka-san, he was fast asleep.

I took him to the bedroom and laid him down next to Cloud. It was almost immediate how they sought each other out. Cloud pulled Hope toward him, laying him between his arm and his chest. Hope also moved to snuggle up against his mother.

I looked at them again before leaving the room. I put on my coat, buttoned it up, and put on my gloves.

“Did they sleep at all?”, Claudia had just entered the kitchen, and I pushed my hair behind my back.

“They slept.”, I said and turned toward her.

“Souka? That's good...”

The woman who was so undeniably similar to Cloud studied me for a few moments before speaking.

“Cloud didn't tell me, but I suppose something happened in Gongaga?”

“I've taken care of it, you don't have to worry.”

“I'm glad.”, she said and stared at me, her lips parted, clearly searching for the words to say something.

“I'll be back in a few days.”, I said simply. “We can talk then, if you want.”

“And you think it's wise to come back?”, she asked.

I stared at Claudia. Even though I knew she didn't like me, it was the first time she had shown it so openly.

“What do you mean?”

“That I don't know if it's healthy for Cloud... for Hope. A father who comes and goes, who spends a lot of time without saying anything. They don't need that.”

“Would you prefer that I don’t to come back?”

“Cloud would be sad. But maybe it would be for the best. He doesn't need to wait for someone who may not come back.”

“What if I refuse?”

“I can't force you. I'm asking... begging... for you to do it.”

Even if Cloud's mother asks me, no, even if Cloud asked me, I couldn't accept it.

“I can't.”, I said simply and started walking toward the exit.

“Please—"

I didn't hear what else she had to say. I wasn't going to give up Hope, or Cloud.

I would rot before I could do that...

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

When Lazard entered the room accompanied by the leader of the Turks, it was not difficult to see that something was going on.

“We will take care of the Vice President's security.”, said Tseng.

“Hai. I'll talk to the President.”, replied the director, and Tseng left the room again.

“Is it such an important mission?”, asked Zack, clearly excited. “One with the President?”

“Why are we here, Director?”, asked Angeal, a serious expression on his face. Sitting next to him, Genesis read Loveless. I was on the other side of the table, sitting with my arms crossed.

Will I have time to go from Corel to Nibelheim tomorrow...?

We had been summoned to an emergency meeting in the meeting room on the Soldier floor. Perhaps this was the opportunity Zack had been waiting for to gain the recognition he wanted.

“You will be the first to know, although the Company will issue an official statement afterwards.”, Lazard began. “Wutai has backed down from Shinra's conditions. We are going to send troops there to resolve the issue. Until they surrender, inventively.”

Genesis and I looked up almost simultaneously to look at the Director, Angeal sealed his lips, his jaw hardening.

“In other words...”, Genesis muttered.

“Yes. We are at war.”, Lazard completed with a nod. Then he looked at Zack.

“This is your chance to prove yourself, Zack.”

“Ah, hai!”

“I will make the same announcement to the other Soldier. As Class First, your contribution to the conflict will be indispensable. Class Second and Third will look to you for leadership.”

“Mm.”, Angeal agreed. “We will support you and the other members. That is part of a Soldier's duty.”

“Ie, war creates heroes, not supporters, Angeal.”, said Genesis.

“Some of them have never been on the battlefield, Genesis.”

“They'll learn quickly.”

“Sephiroth.”, Lazard interrupted their conversation saying my name. “The President is in Junon. Your mission is to accompany him back to Midgar.”

I said nothing, just got up from my chair and headed for the door.

War. In Wutai. Far from Midgar, from Nibelheim. From Cloud and Hope.

The door opened and closed behind me as I left.

Junon is definitely a long way from Nibelheim. To get there...

“Sephiroth.”, I stopped walking and looked over my shoulder at Angeal, who had quickly caught up with me.

“I'll take care of your mission in Junon.”, he said. I frowned.

“There's no reason—”

“I know we are not you.”, he interrupted. “But Zack and I should be able to justify your absence.”

He nodded toward the elevator.

“Go.”, our eyes met, and I understood what he meant. Going to Junon was the beginning. I wouldn't get another chance.

I quickly walked away towards the elevator without looking back. I thought about the fastest way to get there.

I have to see them before Wutai.

It was hard to know when I would be able to do it again...

...

...

…

It was night when I arrived in Nibelheim. I had two or three missed calls from Lazard. Angeal would care of it, it wasn't going to be a problem.

I opened the door without knocking and pushed it open to enter the hall. I closed it behind me and headed for the kitchen, my footsteps echoing loudly in the silence of the house.

Cloud appeared, coming from the bedroom. A small smile appeared on his face when he saw me. It would have been more adorable if I didn´t known that it would soon disappear, with what I had to tell him.

“Cloud...”, I murmured slowly. It was strange not to see Hope with him, on his chest or in his arms. “Where is Hope?”

“Tifa invited us to dinner at her house. Kaa-san went ahead with Hope.”, he explained. "But I... can I go get him now...”

Is he going to ignore everything just because I'm here...?"

“No, that's not necessary.”, I replied. “There's something I have to tell you first.”

His eyes widened, his irises trembling. Fear.

It was almost offensive, if not painful, that he seemed to expect my eventual refusal. As if I could ever tire of the child I had made and his Oka-san

I let out a soft laugh.

“It's not what you think, don't worry.”, I said. “I don't think that's an option.”

Cloud kept looking at me, waiting for me to continue. His eyes softened at the edges, and I was sure his face was redder.

The traces of a smile disappeared from my face. My lips formed a line for a moment before I spoke again.

“I won't be able to return to Nibelheim anytime soon.”, I said. “I'm… very sorry.”

Cloud blinked, his eyelids hiding and revealing the blue eyes beneath. Then surprise clouded his young features.

“What...?”

“It's confidential information, but Wutai has declared war on Shinra. All Soldier will be deployed...including me.”

Cloud's lips opened and closed. He needed another moment before speaking.

“Mm... that makes sense...”, he murmured, in a whisper. “Of course... you're a Class First... and a hero... of course... If there's a war, you have to go.”

He bit his lower lip for a moment.

“But that's no justification, is it?”, I murmured.

“You don't have to justify yourself.”, whispered Cloud, defending me. “I understand. You're a hero, of course...”

“I wouldn't trade seeing my son to be a hero.”, I said.

Cloud fell silent abruptly.

After forcing him to give up his dream of being a hero, I didn't want him to know the true reality of Soldier, or of me being a “hero.” But my words were bitter, with no attempt to hide the reality to protect him.

Apparently, it bothered me more than I could understand.

That I was going to abandon Cloud and Hope to fight for Shinra...

Cloud lowered his face to look at the ground, conflict dancing on his face.

I stepped forward to get closer to him. I lowered my face to look down, my larger figure eclipsing his smaller one.

“Cloud...”, I called, and he lifted his face, my hair sliding across his cheek, I brushed it away with my fingers. “I'm sorry. And please, you're the only person I can ask this of.”

His eyes were fixed on mine, his small lips slightly parted, listening to me intently.

How pathetic It was... saying I am leaving him and asking him to forgive me for it.

“Take care of our son...”, I whispered. “Please.”

Cloud grabbed a few strands of my hair, in a gesture that reminded me greatly of Hope.

“Hai...”, he replied, his eyes downcast, avoiding mine, the words stuck in his throat for a moment. “Y-you entrusted him to me. Of course... I'll take care of Hope.”

“You gave him to me.”, I murmured. “He's my responsibility too. But I won't be able to fulfill it now...”

I thought about what those words meant to him. Especially when Cloud had admitted to me that he didn't expect me to come back. That he was going to raise my son without me ever knowing.

What a cruel thing for someone with such clear eyes to consider doing...

I leaned closer to him.

“So please, Cloud.”

His hands reached for my coat, over my chest, squeezing the fabric loosely.

“Please. Don't ask...”, he smiled. That sad smile he rarely showed me, but one I now recognized easily.

If it were anyone else, I wouldn't care. Not after years of being told how special I was (my body, my blood, my genes, my abilities, my power). How superior I was to others. How pointless it was to think otherwise. Even if I did, others would think that of me.

But with Cloud, it was an unpleasant feeling. The way he smiled self-deprecatingly, the little regard he had for himself.

As if the idea that I would treat him as an equal was a mere joke.

But if anyone deserved to be treated that way by me, it was the person who had carried and given birth to my child.

“You don't have to ask. You...”, Cloud couldn't finish, but I could see the unspoken words in his eyes.

“You/Hero/Class First shouldn't have to ask someone like me.”

“And yet, you will? Even if I don't ask...?”

He gripped the fabric of my coat tighter.

“Hai...”, he whispered. “Of course... of course I will.”

“I'm sorry I have to ask you this.”

“No... you're... a hero... they need you...”

Admiration or self-sacrifice?

I held his chin gently, lifting it slowly to make him look at me. Cloud found it difficult to look me in the eye.

I parted my lips. Perhaps to be cruel to him. As cruel as he was in belittling the mother of my child or thinking of hiding him from me.

But I decided not to. I was abandoning him, after all, and with my child. Cloud didn't deserve cruelty.

He deserved something... soft, perhaps.

I held Cloud's face with both hands, my figure leaning over his. His eyes were perfect, without Mako, without blood, just big and blue.

I leaned closer to Cloud. He closed his eyes. He was expecting it. Maybe he wanted it.

And I kissed him.

Cloud's lips were soft. Much smaller than mine.

I could (and did) count on one hand the number of times I had kissed him. I felt his breath on my face and the warmth of his red cheeks.

The grip on my coat weakened. I just pressed my lips to his a little harder, for a second longer than I should have, but I felt his breath shudder.

Like last time, the closeness, the warmth, and the ease with which Cloud gave himself to me caused something dangerously akin to desire to build up in my chest.

And it was impossible to avoid, no matter how perverse I knew it was.

Our lips parted. I looked at Cloud, who was blushing violently, my hands still molding his face, keeping him close.

“Se... phiroth...”, he murmured, his mouth brushing against mine, sending a shiver through my body.

When will I kiss him again?

His pupils were slightly dilated, his blue irises trembling. I had seen that expression on Cloud's face before. The same eyes that had shattered all my discipline in one night.

Mine, however, couldn't have looked any better. Not with how much I really wanted him...

Cloud parted his lips again, hesitant. I stopped holding his face and wrapped my arms around him, encircling his figure.

I turned my face to the side and leaned closer to Cloud, my hair brushing against his shoulder.

“I want you...”, I whispered close to his ear, and Cloud shuddered. “Before I leave.”

He grabbed my jacket tighter. I could hear his heart beating fast and his hot breath on my lips.

“Tell me...”, I continued, having to stop to let him breathe. When Cloud heard my voice, he held his breath. “If you feel the same.”

I thought how unfair it would be to ask him that while I had him in my arms, even if I wasn´t caging in, just to keep him there and close.

“How...”, he whispered slowly and shuddered again. “...can I not feel the same...?”

His voice sounded so drawn out as if those words had been waiting to be said for so long, stuck in his throat, Cloud too shy to confess them.

“You don't have to.”, I murmured. Because what I wanted shouldn't matter when it came to Cloud. “After all, you don't have to reciprocate what I want.”, I said and stepped back slightly to look him in the eyes. “That night...”

I stepped back further to release Cloud from my arms, so as not to pressure him in that way.

“It shouldn't have happened the way it did.”

Cloud lowered his eyes.

“Do you regret it...?”

“Ie.”, apparently, I also had something stuck in my throat to confess. “The way I did things...”, his blue eyes were on me again. “It wasn't fair to you.”

I wasn't talking about decorum or duty, or the honor of the Soldier´s that Angeal defended.

It was about the blood. As if I was looking at my sword after stabbing someone, the red liquid sliding down the metal. But the metal was my skin, Cloud's flesh, the blood running down between his legs, where our bodies had joined.

I had seen much more blood in my life than a man had in his body. And yet, even so, it still seemed to me that that one should not have been spilled.

At the time, however, I didn't care in the least, not about the sight of the red, not about the heat, not about the rest.

Cloud's lips parted.

“I don't... think like that...”, he admitted slowly, and blushed even more. “Honestly, I barely remember what happened. I was so happy that you were... there, with me... of all people.”

He smiled slightly.

“I still think it was a dream...”

I studied Cloud's expression for a moment.

Is that how he feels about what happened...?

I leaned over Cloud again and held his face gently to pull him toward me.

“It wasn't.”

Cloud closed his eyes before my lips touched his...

…

...

...

Our clothes were scattered on the floor.

I've never seen Cloud blush as much as when I unfastened my coat belts and took it off. He had seen me do it before (when Hope had dirtied it) and even then, he had blushed just the same, sitting on the bed, his eyes fixed on me.

Then the gloves, the boots, the pants, and the rest. Cloud just stared, his face growing redder and redder, his pupils dilating more and more.

His eyes only left my body when I approached the bed. Cloud's eyes rose to mine, blue shining in the dark, beneath the moonlight coming through the window.

He swallowed hard and accepted my silent request. He took off his shirt, his clothing much simpler than mine.

Then his pants. When he got to his underwear, he hesitated, a trembling breath escaping his lips.

He took them off, under my watchful gaze. I felt my own pupils dilate when I saw that he was aroused, it was an extremely pleasant sight.

My self-control might have been strong, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I was in the same state.

With no clothes to get in the way, I climbed onto the bed. Cloud leaned back until he was lying on the mattress. I rested my knees on either side of his legs to climb on top of him.

I had let him see me, so I allowed myself to do the same: I slid my eyes up and down his body, absorbing the information he was giving me.

Cloud was as small as I remembered, with skinny legs and a thin waist. His hips weren't as narrow anymore, or maybe it was just my impression, since it was dark that night. But it wouldn't be surprising, since he had had a baby. Mine…

But they were still narrow, enough for me to be sure I could easily wrap both hands around it.

Cloud, underneath me, was struggling not to move, uncomfortable at being trapped beneath my gaze. I had been staring at him for some time.

I leaned forward slightly and held his hips loosely, molding them between my fingers, his body shuddered and his cock trembled with interest.

There was something fascinating about touching Cloud that way, in those areas. Where he had created Hope, where he had brought him into the world.

I slid my eyes further up. The lower part of his belly was still slightly marked, fine lines that I had the feeling would disappear. The skin had been forced to stretch beyond the breaking point to accommodate his belly as it grew. I remember seeing it on the day of the birth, still swollen and marked with red.

Amazing... how quickly it regenerates.

I moved one of my hands up and placed it on his belly, the uterus should have been below. Cloud shuddered completely, a chill ran through his body, but my curiosity was greater than my common sense and I kept it, motionless, on his belly.

His skin was warm to the touch, he shuddered again and squeezed his legs together, but did nothing to push me away.

I moved my other hand up, sliding it slowly across his belly until I reached his chest. It was slightly swollen, the pink color contrasting with his fair skin.

When my fingers lightly brushed one of his nipples, Cloud moaned.

“Ah...”

I felt a shiver run through my body, his voice going straight to between my legs. I thought of that night, the sound of Cloud's excited voice as he cried and sobbed on my manhood.

I pushed the memory away and leaned closer to Cloud, a few strands of my hair brushing against his chest.

“Did I hurt you...?”

“Ie…”, he murmured and turned his face to the side to avoid my gaze, his cheeks burning. “It's just... a little sensitive...”

I didn't insist on touching him there. That was where Hope eat from, even with my curiosity, I wasn't going to take that away from him.

I slid my hands further up, touching his collarbone and narrow shoulders, his bones too prominent. Maybe I should leave more money...?

Cloud moved again. His hips trembled, a soft sigh escaping his lips as if he had been holding his breath for too long.

And he probably had, trapped under my body and my eyes.

I held Cloud's hands, one in each of mine, his arms until then laying at his sides.

I pulled them slowly and placed them on my chest.

“It's your turn.”, I whispered.

His eyes were dilated. I could hear the sound of his heart beating fast, the soft breath escaping his lips.

His eyes met mine, he looked slightly confused.

“You let me touch you.”, I explained slowly as I released his hands, which slid down a little before he stabilized them, pressed against my chest. “It's your turn.”

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes fixed on mine.

Then he pulled away, his irises following his fingers as he ran his hands over my body.

Timidly, his fingers brushed my chest. Then they moved to my arms for a moment, his thumbs pressing lightly on my muscles.

His fingers were small, felt warm as they brushed against my skin. Cloud's lips were slightly parted, his pupils dilated, breathing slowly.

It was as if he was admiring me, even with the embarrassment that marked his red cheeks.

His hands returned to my chest and he slowly moved them down. I felt my skin tingle where he touched me, a sigh escaping my lips.

“Uh...”

Cloud slid his hands down my abdomen, his fingers tracing my muscles.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment to concentrate. His fingers were soft, his nails short. His hands were moving lower and lower, and, true to what I had said, I wasn't going to stop him.

It was, however, difficult not to want to do it. Not with the erection I had, his moaning had made me react excessively and it was increasingly difficult to control myself with his hands so close.

“Uh...”

Cloud suddenly moved his hands away. His fingers almost touched my erection, I felt it tremble.

His hands slid off my chest and he placed them on the mattress around his face.

I drank in his image one last time, his legs pressed together, his organ throbbing between them. There was a trickle of milk dripping from one of his nipples and his parted lips looked wet.

I leaned forward, my hair falling over his face, Cloud shuddered slightly.

I rested my hands on the mattress and brought my face closer to his, Cloud's blue eyes disappeared beneath closed eyelids when I kissed him.

That night, I remember kissing him hard, the softness of his mouth disappearing under the violence of the kiss. My tongue filled his mouth and crushed his tongue. Cloud was shaking violently, his voice muffled by my mouth, his moans making my throat tremble.

I knew Cloud was suffocating, beneath the pleasure and my mouth, trying to breathe, breathing frantically, his throat contracting.

He tried to break free, but I wouldn't let him. His voice, his rapid breathing, Cloud totally dominated was making me throb, the pleasure crossing the boundaries of madness.

Cloud had bitten my lip at one point. I was sure he couldn't tear it, and the pain didn't even feel like pain. Maybe I was wrong and he had managed to do it.

Maybe the blood in my mouth was as much his as it was mine...

I kissed Cloud slowly. I pressed my lips against his, once, then again, brushing my mouth against his.

Cloud responded timidly, pressing his mouth slowly against mine.

“Mm...”

Our mouths came together and separated in long kisses. Beneath me, Cloud shuddered. His dick was close to mine, just inches away from touching, and that must have been why he was reacting so strongly.

I pressed my tongue against his lips, unsure how he would respond. Cloud shyly parted his lips and let me slide my tongue into his mouth.

“Mm...”

It was as warm as I remembered, maybe more. I moved my tongue slowly, licking the inside of his mouth before brushing against his. I could feel the shiver that ran through his body, my erection throbbing harder.

He moved his head and opened his lips slightly more. I pressed my tongue against his, feeling how warm and soft it was.

Timidly, his tongue moved against mine, rubbing slowly. The friction gave me a shiver, and I clenched the sheets with the hand that was resting on the mattress.

Slurp...slurp...

Our tongues rubbed against each other, slowly at first, then more intensely. I brought my face closer to Cloud's, one of his hands came to it, I felt it touch my cheek timidly, when our tongues entwined again his fingers closed around a few strands of hair.

“Mm... nm...”

“Slurp...mn...”

Our lips sealed again, Cloud's voice in soft sighs mingled with the wet sound of our tongues rubbing against each other.

I felt Cloud's saliva in my mouth, his tongue pressed against mine, his soft lips parted.

His heart was beating fast, and when his breathing became too rapid, I pulled my face back, my tongue slipped out of his mouth, and our lips parted with one last wet kiss.

Cloud needed to breathe; he could hold it less than I could.

A thread of saliva kept our lips connected, it eventually broke.

As much as I would have preferred to continue, he would hardly try to push me away, even if he needed to stop. The loss of friction and heat was unpleasant, but I pushed those thoughts away.

Cloud's hand slid from my face to the bed. I watched him, my pupils dilated. He was panting, his chest rising and falling quickly. His lips were shiny, wet with saliva sliding down his chin. His face was red, his cheeks flushed. His eyes were swollen and seemed slightly unfocused.

I leaned back slightly and brought one of my hands between his legs. Cloud shuddered before I even touched him. I looked up into his eyes, searching for any sign of rejection.

I closed my hand around his dick when I found none.

“Ah...”, he let out a weak moan and pushed his head back.

He wasn't big, I could almost close my entire hand around his size. Cloud moaned softly, he was leaking, pre-cum dripping from the tip as he throbbed.

I moved my hand slowly, up and down, to feel him tremble. He covered his mouth with one hand.

“Mm...”

A small smile crossed my lips for a moment, his reactions a constant stimulus.

I moved my hand a few more times, up and down, stroking. Cloud already seemed to be on the verge of coming, his hips trembling, his voice higher pitched, I felt my cock pulsing harder.

I finally moved my hand away, Cloud stifled a broken moan, his body seemed to soften against the mattress.

I brought my face close to his, Cloud stared at me, embarrassed, through half-closed eyes. I kissed him on the lips.

“Let me hear you, Cloud...”, I asked and moved away again. This time, I moved back on the bed. His voice sounded extremely sweet when my hair brushed against his swollen organ.

Cloud lifted his face slightly from the bed to look at me. I brought my face closer to the middle of his legs and parted my lips.

“Se—!”

I put it in my mouth and Cloud moaned loudly, his eyes opening wide.

I pushed my face until it was completely in my mouth. I felt it on my tongue, the slight pressure between my cheeks. It wasn't uncomfortable.

I looked up and stared at Cloud. His eyes were swollen, small tears in the corners, he looked undeniably in shock.

I closed my eyes and pushed my face forward.

Lovely...

I started sucking him, feeling him pulse inside my mouth. Cloud moaned loudly, his hips shaking, his whole body seemed to tremble.

I held his hips with both hands, not to keep him still, I didn't care if he pushed his hips against my mouth, but to have something to hold on to. My cock was throbbing intensely now and I had to concentrate to ignore it.

“Ah... ah... ah... Se...”

I began to bob my head up and down, sliding him against my lips and into my mouth. I felt one of his hands in my hair and opened my eyes to watch him.

Small fingers closed around strands of my hair. Cloud was panting fast, red, his lips wet, his eyes swollen.

“I... ah... Sephiroth...!”

He seemed to be crying now, my name on his lips sounding excessively exciting.

"No... I...”

Go ahead...

I just closed my eyes again and pushed my face further against his cock, swallowing it deeply.

Cloud came with a loud moan that went straight to my manhood. He writhed with the orgasm, his hips trembling between my hands. I felt the semen in my mouth, his dick throbbing. The taste was strange, somewhat bitter, but I didn't mind.

Cloud's body went limp, even the hand in my hair lost its strength. I only lifted my face when his hips stopped shaking, not wanting to take him beyond what he could handle. I swallowed one last time and lifted my face to look at Cloud. He was still panting, both hands covering his eyes.

“Sephiroth...you...you just...”

His voice sounded slow and slurred.

“Is it that surprising?”, I asked, Cloud moved his hands away to look at me. “That I would do this for you?”

He parted his lips and closed them again before whispering:

“No... you didn't have to...”

“But I wanted to.”, I interrupted. “And I don't think it was unpleasant for you.”

My comment made him blush even more. I leaned over Cloud and kissed him on the lips, his eyes were soft, his irises unfocused.

“Can I continue...?” I whispered, he shuddered.

“Mm...”

I leaned back on the bed, slid my hands down his hips and thighs, where I rested them.

It was getting harder and harder to control myself. His voice, his eyes, everything about Cloud was too tempting for my discipline to resist.

I slid my hands down the sides of his body and legs again, holding him loosely by the thighs.

I thought again about that night, how I had pushed him against the wall, how I had pulled at his clothes, the fabric tearing easily between my fingers. I realize now that I didn't know what I was doing. I was just acting on almost animalistic instincts: spreading his legs, slipping between them, satisfying a human and degrading desire to procreate. Or perhaps the pure superior desire to completely dominate him, a boy who had spent a week teasing me.

And that's what I did: in a dirty and depraved way, I took him at will, buried myself in his body, forced him to open up to me, and in the end, I got him pregnant.

“Cloud...”, I murmured slowly and devoured him with my eyes, my pupils dilated. “May I?”

A trembling breath escaped his lips, he pressed his body against the mattress and nodded.

“Tell me.”, I insisted, trying not to let the excitement I felt show in my voice. Cloud shuddered again and bit his lower lip.

“Hai...” he murmured, in a whisper. “Sephiroth...”

I moved his thighs apart and lifted his legs slightly. Cloud bent them unconsciously. His hips shuddered, and I saw the effort he was making not to close his legs, his organ trembling again.

I moved my hands down to his buttocks and spread them slightly to reveal his hole. Cloud's breathing faltered and he pushed his head back, unable to look at me.

Even on his small body and between his thin legs, Cloud's entrance looked small. Even though I had already possessed him, even though he had given birth.

How... did he manage to... accept me?

It was throbbing slightly. I must have stared too long, because Cloud shifted slightly.

I squeezed one of his thighs more firmly to keep his hips slightly raised, his knees trembling.

I brought my other hand to my lips, Cloud watched me, a mixture of shame and almost curiosity.

If I don't touch him... I'll never be able to fit...

I thought again of the blood running down between his legs and pushed those thoughts away.

I covered my fingers with my own saliva before taking them out of my mouth. Cloud's dick was trembling again. The expression on his face, with his blurry blue eyes looking at me, his lips parted and wet, was getting to me.

My own manhood was starting to hurt with how excited I was, but I decided to ignore it to prepare him.

I brought my fingers to his hole and rubbed them slowly against the outside. Cloud's breathing shook and he pushed his hands, which were resting on the mattress, above his head, against the sheets.

I caressed his entrance with my fingertips, felt it pulsing slightly, my saliva wetting it.

“Ah...”, his muffled voice made my erection throb harder.

I slowly pushed a finger inside him. His insides gave way and I was able to slide it in without forcing it.

Cloud moaned again, he tried to close his legs but I continued to grip his thighs tightly to keep them apart.

I began to move my finger slowly, pushing it in and out. His breathing quickened and soft sighs escaped his lips each time I pushed my hand inside.

His insides were warm and tight, the walls closing around my finger.

How much tighter would he have been before the birth? That night? It doesn't matter now, it's fascinating how tight he is... even after giving birth.

I pushed my finger inside and out, Cloud was now moaning softly, his voice doing nothing to help my self-control.

I rubbed the tip of other finger against his entrance. Cloud moved his hips but didn't pull away. I slipped a second finger inside him.

“Ah!”

He writhed against the bed, a loud moan escaping his lips.

I had to stop, feeling a bead of sweat trickle down my eyebrow.

The sweat was surprising in itself. But the concentration of using my fingers and the effort of having an erection for so long and still not having done anything about it were taking much more out of me than I could have imagined.

I took my fingers out of Cloud and, somewhat embarrassed, brought them to my own cock.

I wrapped them around it, feeling how hard and throbbing it was, and moved my hand up and down twice, stroking it briefly.

“Uh...”, I closed my eyes for a moment and a grunt escaped my lips.

I opened them again, feeling that I could hold out a little longer without touching myself. Cloud was looking at me, his blue eyes blurred with pleasure.

His cock was throbbing again.

I climbed further up over Cloud as my hand returned to the middle of his legs. I inserted one finger, then another, and began to push them slowly in and out, trying to open him up for me.

Cloud spread his legs wider, I pushed them and they stayed up. My hair brushed against his face, and I kissed him again.

“Mm... slurp...”

“Nn... ah...”

Our tongues rubbed against each other, our lips sealing in short kisses. He moaned against my mouth as I moved my fingers inside him, pushing them in and out, faster than when I had started.

I pulled my face back and glanced at his body, his hips trembling, his organ throbbing. Cloud just moaned against my lips, and I kissed him again.

I pushed a third finger against his entrance. I half-opened my eyes to see him squeeze his own, his breathing shaking.

I slowly pressed the third one against his hole, managing to push it in, and slowly forced it into inside to join the others.

Cloud suddenly threw his head back and moaned. There were small tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

Now I could feel how tight he was. I didn't move the hand between his legs, letting him get used to the width, his inner walls contracting around my fingers.

I brought my other hand to his dick, wrapped it around it, and began to stroke it, trying to distract him from the probable pain.

!

A spasm ran through his body, he tried to pull away from me, but it was almost impossible when I was on top of him, one of my hands between his thighs, the other on his organ.

He turned his face away to avoid my eyes. I began to move my fingers inside him again, pushing them back and forth, rubbing them against his insides.

Cloud was basically sobbing now, his moans and rapid breathing blending together.

I felt my cock throb intensely again, Cloud's insides contracting around my fingers. I pushed them deeper.

“!”

Cloud moaned louder, his hands clenching around the sheets. Maybe it was because my fingers were too deep, maybe that area was too sensitive. But definitely, his voice was making me lose my mind.

He was hot and wet inside, my saliva, his own fluids. I pulled my hand back, my fingers coming out of him with a wet noise.

His eyes were huge, his irises unfocused, his lips swollen and wet with his saliva and mine.

I moved further back in the bed, knelt between Cloud's legs and pulled his hips to rest on my bent legs.

I grabbed my cock. I didn't have to touch myself, I was already fully erect.

Maybe I should touch him more, open him up more, but I was afraid of hurting Cloud if I kept stimulating him so much.

I pressed my cock against his entrance, and he moaned.

“I'm going to put it in now, Cloud...”, I whispered, feeling his hole pulsing against the head of my cock.

He shuddered, and I pushed my cock s against his entrance. Even after touching him, it still seemed small with my manhood pressed against it.

His hole opened around the tip of my penis, his muscles stretching to accept me. Cloud moaned, his voice dragging as I penetrated him. I only let go of my own cock when the tip was inside, both my hands coming to Cloud's hips to hold them.

Cloud moaned, I grunted and closed my eyes at the sensation.

He was... impossibly tighter than I had expected, even though I had prepared him with my fingers. His insides squeezed my cock tightly, his muscles contracting, his entrance closing tightly around me.

I didn't move, another hoarse sigh escaped my lips. I opened my eyes to look at Cloud. His eyes were closed, his back arched, trying to cope with the sensation.

I took a deep breath and moved slowly, in small circles, without going deeper, just to feel his inside. Cloud moved again and I stopped.

“Am I hurting you?”, I asked, pleasure making my voice heavier.

Cloud's breathing faltered and he had troubles answering.

“No...”, he moaned slowly. “Ah...”

I moved my hips in a circle and this time Cloud's voice didn't sound so sharp. Then I pulled back slightly, the tip almost grazing his entrance, and pushed slowly, burying the first part of my cock inside him.

“Ah... Sephiroth...!”

He moaned my name loudly, his body writhing on the bed, his dick trembling.

The mixed feelings accumulated in my chest, I devoured him with my eyes. On the one hand, the fear of hurting him, on the other, the total fascination of him taking me in his body. I wanted to see him react more, moan my name loudly, freely, obscenely.

“Ah... ah...”, he breathed quickly, and I stopped moving again, watching him, drinking in his reactions.

When Cloud's breathing seemed to calm down, I started moving again: I slowly pulled my hips back, watching my cock slide out, and pushed them back in slowly to thrust myself again.

“Ah... ah...”

“Uh...”

I began to move slowly, thrusting at a steady pace, sliding my manhood out and pushing it back in again.

I watched the area where our bodies joined, Cloud's entrance opening around me, his insides contracting around my cock.

The sensation was intense, overwhelming, the pleasure making my muscles contract.

“Ah...ah...”

“Kh...”

I wasn't fully inside him, even though I had been that night. I had no intention of doing so, Cloud was already squeezing me so tightly, there was no reason to want more than that.

I moved slowly, my hands around his hips, holding his thighs and lifting them slightly, pushing Cloud's knees up, softly.

“Ah...ah...”

“Uh...”

The sensation was almost intoxicating. The air in the room was heavy, laden with Cloud's voice and mine. His insides squeezed around my size, pulsing intensely.

I bent forward slightly, my cock sliding deeper inside Cloud. He groaned and pushed his head back, a hoarse sigh escaping his lips.

I knew he could take more. Cloud had borne my child; he was much more resilient than I could have imagined.

No, not today...

Cloud's dick throbbed against his own stomach, dripping. I bent over him more and held his legs around my hips. Cloud wrapped his arms around my neck, moaning freely, his voice loud and excited. I moved faster now, his insides still tight but no longer suffocating, I could move more easily.

“Ah... haa...”

“Uh... mn...”

The wet sound of my cock sliding in and out of him, Cloud's arms around my neck, his body so close to mine. I knew I wouldn't last much longer, my orgasm approaching too quickly. I rested my hands on the bed, around his face, Cloud's heels resting on my back.

Beneath me, he still seemed smaller, his figure disappearing beneath mine. I felt his hands in my hair and brought my face closer to his.

Cloud's eyes were half-open, his face pushed back, saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth.

“Cloud...”, moaned, his distorted irises meeting mine.

“S-se...”, another thrust. “Aah... Sephiroth... ah...”

I clenched the sheet between my fingers, a hoarse moan escaping my lips, my eyes closed.

“Yes... Cloud... My name... say my name...”

“Sephiroth... hah... ah...”

He cried out my name, squeezing harder around my neck. His insides were tightening more, my cock throbbing intensely.

“Ah... ah...”

He was coming too, I could see his body contracting, his insides pulsing around me.

Maybe it was the heat and pleasure clouding my thoughts, maybe it was the wave of possessiveness I suddenly felt towards Cloud. I was inside him and there was something in my chest that wanted even more...

“Cloud...”, I moaned and half-opened my eyes to look at him.

He buried his head in my shoulder, unable to respond, his moans muffled in my flesh.

I brought my face closer to his, my lips brushing his ear, and he shuddered.

Even if it was just the torpor of sex or an impossible fantasy...

“Give me another child, Cloud...”

“!”

He pushed his head back and came on my cock with a loud moan. His whole body twitched, a spasm ran through him and made his muscles vibrate.

“Ah!”

Cloud's insides tightened around my cock, so much so that I faltered on the last thrust, I only had time to pull my hips back and push them forward again, burying myself halfway inside him.

I closed my eyes tightly and barely recognized my own voice, distorted by pleasure. Cloud continued to cling to me tightly, semen spilling from his dick onto his belly, some wetness hitting my abs.

I came inside him, felt my cock throbbing, Cloud's insides tightening around me.

He moaned with the sensation, my semen sliding down between his legs and over my organ.

The grip of Cloud's arms around my neck loosened and he let them fall onto the bed, over his head. He lay beneath me, panting, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

I leaned back and knelt on the bed. Slowly, I pulled my hips back, my cock sliding out of him, along with more of my seed, a faint sigh escaping his lips.

I placed Cloud's hips on the bed to lay him down completely. I took a deep breath, my rapid breathing quickly stabilizing.

Cloud lay there, panting, his eyes slightly blurred and half-open.

I watched for a moment as the semen pooled between his legs and on his dick.

I bent over him again, Cloud seemed too tired to react.

He had also softened completely that night...

“Sephiroth...”, he murmured slowly, his voice slurred. I studied his face, waiting for him to speak again.

“Come back soon... please...”, he murmured, followed by a small smile.

My hair fell over his face, and I touched his lips with my fingertips.

“Will you wait for me, Cloud...?”, I asked, even though it was an unfair request.

“Mm.”, he agreed, raising his torso slightly. I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine.

And I lost count of how many times we had kissed...

…

...

...

Cloud eventually fell asleep, clearly exhausted from what we had done. I cleaned him up as best I could and covered him with the sheet. I considered leaving him my jacket again, but I thought two would be impossible to hide, too much of a coincidence if anyone saw them.

I got dressed and took one last look at him before leaving the room, his blond hair framing his sleeping face.

I went out into the hallway and crossed it to the front door. I turned the knob and would have walked out if Tifa hadn't been at the door.

She immediately stepped back in a defensive reaction. She had Hope in her arms, holding him close to her.

When she recognized me, her serious expression faded and she dropped her defensive posture.

“Good evening...”, she murmured. “I didn't know...”

Then she seemed to remember why she was there.

“Cloud...?”

“He's sleeping.”, I replied and took a step forward, my eyes fixed on Hope. The girl shuddered. “May I?”

She lowered her eyes to Hope, who had his hands stretched out toward me, opening and closing around nothing, and a smile appeared on my face for a moment.

Tifa hesitated. Then she handed Hope to me. I held him close to my face, his small hands closing around my hair in a strangely comforting grip.

My lips closed into a line as I looked at his face, his round green eyes, the thin strands of silver hair on top of his head.

I wanted to apologize, but I knew he wouldn't understand.

“Is everything okay?”, Tifa's voice made me lift my face, and Hope pulled my hair.

“Yes.”, I handed Hope to her, and she accepted him into her arms.

“Souka...?”

I looked at Hope one last time.

“Good evening.”

And I walked away without looking back, the feeling of the Nibelheim wind in my hair was as if Hope was still pulling it.

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

The first days were...hard.

Not the war itself. The fighting was always the same. The same feeling of steel piercing flesh and blood dripping down my cold blade or staining my face. Killing wasn't difficult, it was just another order to be carried out.

I didn't feel the heat when the field erupted, the fire brought by the emergence of Genesis, the sound of screams mingling with the crackling of flames. Angeal's presence was different: he fought in a controlled manner, without even taking the Buster Sword from his back. He had a noble purpose, his duty was different.

The battle had long since ceased to give me an adrenaline rush, and it didn't even serve as a distraction. Another monster was impaled and the screams fell silent as the fire died around me. The battle had been won for the day. More of a spectacle than anything else. From a strategic point of view, it was ridiculous to send three Class First into the same battle. And even if Wutai emerged crushed from the conflict, they could not be intimidated into giving up.

The next day, a new battle would begin. The same fight. Constant. Perpetual. From the cradle to the grave, ever since I was a child.

I wished my son didn't have to go through the same thing.

It was really their absence that made everything so difficult. I began to wonder if that was the emptiness that came with the loss of purpose. When fighting just to obey orders was no longer enough. When fighting for the sake of fighting no longer suffice.

It hadn’t been enough for a long time. The missions in Junon and in the other cities, even the desk work, filling out reports, signing documents. Everything had a purpose. Completing each mission meant returning to Nibelheim, or at least being closer to doing so. Or returning to Gongaga again, with things ending differently.

Now, there was nothing. The war would last as long as necessary, it would never end soon enough for fighting and killing to feel like relief and bring me closer to returning home.

Home...? I wonder when I started thinking that way about Nibelheim.

No, not about Nibelheim, but them.

Even so, I never thought that this loss of purpose... would bring such a great emptiness.

The same emptiness that made soldiers desert or kill themselves. I wasn't that desperate yet, but I understood the appeal of the escape in a way.

At night, the tents set up for the soldiers didn't took those feelings away. Something that felt like pain squeezed my chest. It didn't throb or burn, but it was always there.

Genesis' quarters were close to mine. Angeal was in another area, with the lower-ranking soldiers. Zack was rarely in the same spot. His missions were more solitary. He didn't lead and there was no need for him show off in front of a battalion of soldiers.

In a way, he was much freer than any of us.

My relationship with Genesis remained strained. We didn't talk much, almost nothing. His interest in the glory of battle was as massive as my disinterest in the same subject. There was nothing to say between us, though, unconsciously, perhaps I wished there was.

It was better with Angeal, when he´d come with us. The war had not distorted his personality for a second. The three of us could talk normally, and he made me laugh on one or two occasions, explaining how he was making sure the Buster Sword remained in top condition.

Even Genesis laughed.

They argued the next day.

Genesis's quarters were too close to mine. I didn't see him on the battlefield, only the fire and destruction that my own hands brought.

He was hurt, from what I could tell. Maybe an accident, maybe the result of his own arrogance. Whatever it was, Genesis didn't want to talk about it, and Angeal wouldn't take no for an answer.

“Let me help you, Genesis. Please.”

“I don't need your help.”

“You're clearly wearing yourself out.”

“I don't need you worrying either!”

“Genesis...”

The argument ended there. Shortly after, I heard the sound of springs creaking under the weight of something and stopped paying attention to their interaction.

I thought about Cloud almost constantly. Blue eyes and blond hair, a gentle expression. I thought about him at night, while staring into the darkness. Or during the day, amid the battle, dust and my hair flying in the heat of battle. Sometimes I could taste him in my mouth, but the strange pain in my chest quickly replaced it with an unpleasant taste.

If possible, I thought about Hope even more.

Eyes that looked so much like mine and Cloud's at the same time. How soft and warm he was, that my own blood had done something like that.

Seeing him on Cloud's chest, or his fingers clinging to my hair.

Huh, even hearing him cry would be better because it would mean Hope was close.

He wasn't. Neither was Cloud, and the memories didn't fill the void of the lost purpose.

A few months later, I realized it was useless. The war wasn't going to end anytime soon, and my own feelings weren't going to disappear even if I ignored them.

The only thing I could do was throw myself completely into the battle. Try to get as much satisfaction, no, as much distraction as I could from the conflict. It wasn't much, the same weapons and warriors coming at me all looked the same, and their bodies piled up unceremoniously.

But at least the forced “intensity” of the battle numbed the discomfort in my chest. Blood and cold steel did not remind me of Cloud, nor did my reflection in Masamune remind me of Hope.

Just an empty fight, emptier than myself.

“Good, I was starting to think you were sick.”, said Genesis, sitting down in the seat in front of me. There was a small room separating our quarters, and we both found it more pleasant to eat there than in the barracks with the other soldiers.

Genesis placed Loveless on the table in front of him. I looked up at the materia I was arranging on my bracelet, my coat hanging on the back of my chair.

“Excuse me?”, I asked, his words a mystery, and perhaps a dumb provocation that I didn't know if I wanted to hear.

However, Angeal had been on a campaign for two weeks, Zack had been sent on two reconnaissance missions in a row, and the other soldiers and members of Soldier stayed away. A conversation could be a pleasant change.

“Your performance lately.”, he clarified. “If the Wutai soldiers were any better, they could have finished you off by now. At least with how you were fighting. If you could call that fighting.”

So he noticed... maybe it was imperceptible to others, but not to someone who had seen me fight and fought with me so many times.

“I wonder...”, blue eyes glowed in the dark, mako shining. “If we were on opposite sides, would I have been able to kill you...?”

I stared at Genesis for a moment. Then I leaned back in my chair and the shadow of a smile crossed my lips.

“You can still try.”, I suggested, Genesis crossed his legs.

“No. Like I said, you're acting like you used to again.”, he said. “Maybe even more brutal.”

“Huh, are you complimenting me?”

Genesis moved his head to look me straight in the eye, his earrings swaying.

“I didn't think his absence would affect you so much.”, he confessed in a lower tone. “Or affect you at all.”

“Is it that surprising?”, I asked. Cloud also seemed surprised by my actions many times. I felt the same way about my own feelings.

“It was surprising that you had fathered a child.”, he commented. “That you miss the boy? I don't know.”

“Do you think I'm incapable of loving him?”

“Do you love him?”

I looked away and didn't answer.

Genesis rested a hand on the table and leaned closer.

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“You're going to tell me anyway.”, I said, crossing my arms.

“You should stop this charade.”, he murmured in a serious tone. “Maybe you think you love him. But what about him? On top of that, he's just a child, he's only confusing things. Admiration with love. Who would refuse the great hero Sephiroth?”

“For someone who reads so much, you're not romantic at all.”, I said, ignoring the feeling in my chest like Genesis had stabbed me hard.

“You'll end up getting hurt.”, he said. “Kids grow up. Never meet your heroes, isn't that what they say?”

“I hope you take my title when this is over, Genesis.”, I spat, staring him down, my eyes locked on his. “You already said what you had to say last time.”

“And yet you didn't listen.”

“Hmph, are you telling me this because it's just the two of us? Trying to avoid another argument with Angeal?”

“I don't fear Angeal's opinion.”, he replied. "You have a son, clearly he would side with you even if he doesn’t agree with your choices.

“Whether you agree or not doesn't affect my choices.”, I said.

“Yes, we all understand that.”, Genesis declared. "But if Angeal has decided to be complacent, I think someone needs to bring you to your senses.”

“And you will be that person?”

A small smile appeared on his face.

“Who else would it be?”

“And can I refuse?”

“No.”, he said, his smile widening. “If I have to see you crying around because of your lover, you have to listen to me talk about it.”

“He's not my lover, Genesis.”, I corrected, feeling the start of a headache in my temples. I was sure that if he declared Loveless at that moment, I would have a migraine for the rest of the night.

“What is he then?”, he asked, and I wondered if the gleam in his eyes was malice or curiosity. “He's not your partner, that's for sure.”

He leaned back in his chair and gestured slowly with one hand.

“Companionship presupposes equality. It doesn't exist if you and your companion aren't equals.”

“Is Angeal your equal?”

“He has already defeated me, and I have already defeated him. Angeal can keep up with me.”, he explained, his eyes shining more intensely. “And, on the brink of insanity, I believe he could pull me out of it. Would your lover do the same for you?”

“I don't think I'm going insane.”, I commented.

“Not yet.”, he murmured.

“Maybe I already am, since I'm still having this conversation with you.”, I said, rising from my chair.

“You know you need someone to tell you what you don't want to hear.”, he said.

I took my coat from the back of the chair and put it on.

“But you're wrong.”, I said, pushing my hair back with one hand.

“Am I?”

“Cloud is not my equal.”, I said and held Masamune, the blade no longer had trances of blood, dust, or ash. “He gave me my son.”

I walked toward the door.

“He is better.”

Two years later, Angeal and Zack were assigned to return to Midgar. It wasn't that big of a surprise; the war was dragging on, but for Shinra it was becoming more of a nuisance than a concern.

They kept me on the battlefield to keep promoting me as a hero, even though my contribution to the battles was becoming increasingly rare. It wasn't just about defeating Wutai, it was about crushing their will and strength, forcing them to bow in obedience.

Genesis had also stayed behind. The destruction his flames brought was a nightmare for the warriors of Wutai.

“I thought you had already left.”, I commented when I saw Zack, who greeted me with a broad smile.

“We're leaving now. Angeal went to say goodbye to Genesis. And I thought I should say goodbye too.”

“I think Genesis was in his room.”

“Mm. I think so. Angeal went there just now.”

“Souka.”

There was a moment of silence. Zack brought his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it, somewhat embarrassed.

“Ano... I just wanted to tell you...”, he was thinking before speaking, which was strange because it was Zack.

Then he let both arms fall to his sides, his hands clenched into fists, and he banged one against his chest.

“I'm going to Nibelheim when I get there.”, he announced. “I'm going to check on Cloud. And Hope. And protect them until you come back.”

His blue-green Mako eyes shone brightly.

“It's a promise.”, he finished.

I stared at Zack for a moment.

He could go back, but I couldn't. Was Cloud still waiting for me, or had the constant battle dulled my sense of the passage of time? What did two years mean to a person waiting?

I reached out and placed my hand on Zack's shoulder.

“I'm counting on you.”, I murmured.

Zack smiled even more.

“Leave it to me! Do you want me to pass on a message?”

I took my hand off Zack's shoulder and thought about it. Time hadn't weakened my memories or my desire to return, it had just made it easier to deal with everything.

My lips parted.

What do I want to say to him...?

I shook my head.

“No. I just want them to be fine.”

“I'll make sure of that.”, Zack said with a huge smile. “I have to go now.”

“Have a good trip.”

“Thanks!”

He turned his back and walked away quickly. I retraced my steps to the area that Genesis and I used as our quarters.

“Just... please don't do anything irresponsible, Genesis.”, I heard Angeal's voice from the other side of Genesis's door.

“You worry unnecessarily, Angeal.”, came Genesis's voice, in a much lighter tone. “When we see each other again, I'll be the new hero.”

“I'd rather you be okay when we see each other again. Becoming a hero is secondary.”

“Hmph, you could be more ambitious than that, Angeal.”

“Don't die, Genesis. You can't be a hero if you're not here.”

I pushed open the door to my room, not wanting to hear any more of their private conversation.

“Will you miss me...?”, came Genesis' soft voice.

“Yes. I will.”

The door opened before I could enter my room. I turned to look at Angeal, who closed the door behind him and looked at me, clearly realizing that I had heard.

“Zack has already left.”, I said simply.

“Mm. Did he talk to you?”

“He did.”

“Great. That way I don't have to say everything again.”, he gave me a small smile. “Leave Cloud and your son with us.”

“Mm. Thank you.”, I said him. “I'm counting on you.”

“In exchange.”, he nodded toward the door of Genesis. “If you could keep an eye on him.”

“You don't have to ask.”, I said. “Even after everything, I wouldn't let him get hurt.”

“I know.”, but Angeal seemed more relieved by my words. “I would trade places with you so you could return to Midgar.”

“You can't.”

“It's not that I didn't try. And failed miserably.”, he confessed.

“It doesn't matter, Angeal. Helping them is enough.”

“And I will. I swear on my honor.”

I smiled, thinking that they were clearly mentor and protégé.

…

...

...

Genesis was close, his face tilted back slightly to look at me, his back against the wall.

How did things turn out like this?

There was a short corridor leading to the exit of the tent, narrow enough for one person to pass at a time. Genesis had stepped aside to let me pass, or so I thought.

He raised his hand and gestured for me to come closer, and I did. I approached until I was too close. Genesis wasn't smiling, I could hear the soft sound of his breathing and smell the scent of blood. Rapier was in his hand, dripping red onto the floor.

We rarely spoke, even though we were the last ones left. Most of the infantry had returned to Midgar, the few soldiers who remained were more for maintenance than for fighting.

Genesis moved his head, his earrings swaying, but his blue eyes remained fixed on mine.

It wasn't the same shade of blue unpolluted by Mako. Nor were the eyes similar, too sharp and cold.

Now that Angeal is gone, can no one save you from madness?

Alone, with each other, our situations had become the same. The silence was broken only by the sound of Genesis turning the pages of Loveless. We didn't speak, but the silence was heavier than any words.

Genesis parted and joined his lips, without making a sound.

The smell of blood mingled with that of ashes and fire. I could bear that almost intoxicating closeness, but the smell made me wrinkle my nose.

I wanted the sweet smell of milk. What I smelled from Genesis disgusted me.

He moved his face again, his eyes shifting from mine to my side.

I didn't feel the weight of Masamune in my hand, but I knew it was there. There was blood in my hair; someone had died too close.

I backed away before worse thoughts took hold of my mind. I heard Genesis' lips part again, but I turned my back and walked away toward the exit.

The smell of ashes was still ingrained in my senses...

…

...

...

It was a dark idea that began forming in my mind, like a disease, taking up more and more space.

“About the offensive.”, Genesis murmured, sitting in the chair across the table. “Would you rather stay inland or on the beach?”

The question was not a courtesy. Genesis didn't seem the least bit interested in the mission, so as to offer me the choice.

I crossed my arms, pondering the question, even though the answer didn't matter much.

In my thoughts, I saw the narrow corridor again, so similar to that alley that I could feel the cold night air.

But it wasn't Cloud waiting for me, leaning against the wall. It was Genesis, his cold eyes turned in my direction, beckoning me with a wave of his hand.

“It's possible that they have boats waiting on the beach.”, I said.

“Probably.”

I moved slowly toward him. Of course, it would be Genesis, whose presence was now constant, and not the person I wanted and hadn't seen in over two years.

The closeness between us no longer bothered me, even though the smell of ashes and blood made my stomach churn.

Why was I so close? The only answer I had was that Genesis wanted to see the sparkle in my eyes, the Mako shining in my irises. It was a ridiculous thought. But Cloud would want to see it, after all, it was the symbol of Soldier, where he wanted so badly to join.

I had already seen him ask Zack about his eyes. But why would he need Zack when he had me?

“If we push them to the beach, they must have escape boats waiting.”, I commented.

“Or more reinforcements.”, Genesis suggested.

“They won´t escape, no matter how many there are.”

Looking at Genesis, I wondered if I could turn him around and push him against the wall. Probably. Genesis was shorter, weaker, I could easily subdue him, push him and pin him between me and the wall.

Maybe I would finally hear his voice. An exclamation of surprise, or revolt. Because no one had ever dominated him, and Angeal was anything but violent. Or maybe he wouldn't say anything, afraid of being heard.

“You mean you'd rather stay on the beach? And corner them there?”, asked Genesis, his legs crossed, Loveless open on one of them.

“You should be able to make them retreat with fire.”

“Hmph, you want me to summon Ifrit too?”

Genesis's body was definitely wider; he was a soldier, after all. His hips weren't narrow enough for me to wrap my hands around them completely. Cloud was a perfect fit; his waist fit perfectly between my hands. Genesis didn't. It was an imperfection I could ignore.

The clothes were different too. The ease with which I had pushed Cloud against the wall, pulling at his clothes, popping buttons and tearing the fabric that covered him to reveal the warm skin beneath, his thighs, the middle of his legs.

Genesis's clothes were different, more complex. I would probably have to break his belt to undress him, pull his trousers down, as well as his underwear. The coat would be a problem, but maybe I would pull it off later, by the arms, until it came off and the fabric was on the floor.

It would be, however, a great disappointment.

“No, Ifrit would attract unnecessary attention, especially if we want to corner their reinforcements.”, I commented, disinterestedly. A sphere of materia, Ifrit's, rolled across the table. Genesis picked it up without looking.

“Fire it is, then.”

Genesis wouldn't sound like Cloud. No, his breathing wouldn't tremble and he wouldn't simply moan when I took off his clothes. Nor would he, in a mixture of shame, open his legs and offer me everything, or let me claim what he hadn't offered me (his insides, his womb for me to fill).

Genesis wouldn't offer me anything. He would force me to take everything. To conquer, to fight for it.

It wouldn't be sweet. It wouldn't be Cloud.

I leaned back in my chair, Genesis followed me with his eyes before speaking.

“I push them onto the beach and you kill those who try to escape? If there are any left?”

He wouldn't be so tight either. It was physically impossible. Cloud was much smaller, narrower, younger than me and Genesis.

My pupils dilated further: it had been his first time. There was blood, dripping from his entrance, mixing with the semen on my penis.

His first time: mine. He had conceived right away, I should have been sterile.

It wouldn't be as pleasurable, Genesis wouldn't accept me the same way. He wouldn't cry the same way, he wouldn't sob when he was opened with my manhood. He wouldn't suffocate saying my name.

I want to hear you, Cloud...

“Do you think you can do it alone?”, I asked, the beginning of a smile on my lips.

“I don't need your help for this.”, he replied. “Or for anything else.”

But there was only Genesis there, pushed against the wall, his pants stuck at his knees, one sleeve of his jacket torn. He looked back, his eyes pulsing with Mako. Cold fire, the smell of ashes distorting my senses. His teeth were clenched. I was taking him, but Genesis had offered me nothing. If I kissed him, the same way I had kissed Cloud that night, to feel his lips on mine and the vibrations of his moans in my throat, Genesis would have bitten my lip or tongue until the taste of blood suppressed all others.

Violence. The mark of Soldier, more than our eyes and bodies.

Genesis wasn't as warm, just as his eyes were also blue but much colder.

But no one would ever be Cloud. Two years later, and that feeling hadn't changed.

Pleasure was a ridiculous attempt to fill the void in my chest. There was more adrenaline in that fantasy where I subdued Genesis than on the battlefield.

He gritted his teeth, taking me deeper and deeper, a silent protest escaping his lips.

No one is here to save us from insanity...

“They will see you as a hero.”, I assumed. “If you end the war sooner.”

“Great.”, Genesis closed the book on his lap. “Then I'll be the hero, and since Angeal ‘escaped,’ you'll be able to return to the captivity you so desire.”

I smiled at him, knowing exactly which verses from Loveless he had taken that from. There was a strange taste of blood in my mouth.

“I hope you're right.”

Narrator

“I should have thought more this through.”, Zack thought as he walked through the streets of the Slums. He had left the train station behind and was now walking almost aimlessly.

Zack wasn't used to the Slums of the Nanaban-Gai, or any slums for that matter, except, of course, the ones where Aerith lived.

“I should have brought Aerith with me...”, he thought as he passed a group of ladies chatting. “Well, maybe not.”

Zack had called Aerith when he arrived in Midgar. They had talked for hours. He had to see her. He wanted to see her.

But he had to fulfill a promise first. Angeal had asked him to as well. The Class First had been sent on a mission almost immediately after they returned to Midgar. Zack had asked him if he was going home to see his mother. Angeal had refused the suggestion. He couldn't go to Banora without Genesis.

Perhaps it was Angeal's way, who kept most things to himself, of showing how much the situation bothered him. The war had not been easy, and neither had being separated from his two friends.

Angeal probably felt the same as his protégé: there was some resentment, perhaps shame, at being pulled out of a war, taken out of the conflict halfway through, leaving others behind. Of course, that after literally arguing with Lazard about it— “There goes my chance to become a hero”—and after hearing Angeal simply ask if he could switch places with Sephiroth, Zack realized that there were more important things.

In the end, Lazard had to reinforce his lack of authority in the face of demands coming directly from the President when confronted with the persistence of two Soldier operatives who were totally adamant about taking Sephiroth's place.

It didn't work, which is why Zack was walking through the streets of the Sector 7 Slums.

Before going to see his parents in Gongaga, before going to meet Aerith in Sector 5, he had to go see Cloud!

And remembering that, he moved forward with more confidence. He passed what looked like a makeshift playground. There were some children playing, one of them crying loudly while her mother tried to calm her down.

Zack stopped for a moment, looking at the children, searching for something that resembled the baby he hadn't seen in two years.

“Damn, he must be really big now! Children grow up so fast.”

He searched among the children's faces for a moment longer, but found no one who remotely resembled him. Silver hair and green eyes would have been easy to spot.

He kept walking. The sun set differently in the Slums. Less light and fewer shadows. Zack had come for some reason at the end of the day, and the Soldier could only think that the time chosen could only be the result of some paranoia that Sephiroth had passed on him.

Then Zack pushed those thoughts away. First, because Sephiroth wasn't that paranoid (maybe... just a little...) and because that would never influence him!

Zack walked aimlessly for a few more moments, looking for a familiar face among the people shopping in the small stores facing the street, or slowly returning home after a long day of work.

He would never have admired, even to himself, the faint feeling of nervousness he felt at the thought of seeing his friend again after two years. Especially after they had spent so much time together the year before.

Someone passed Zack, blonde hair shining. Zack's heart raced, beating hard, and the Soldier reached out toward the person.

“Clou—”

The person, actually a young girl, turned to him with a frown. Zack stopped walking, his outstretched hand closed around nothing and dropped. The girl just kept walking, eventually disappearing into a store.

Zack sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Of course it's not going to be that easy.”, he thought to himself. “It´s this whole place and I have no idea where he could be...”

Of course, Zack wasn't going to let that deter him. He continued walking until he reached an area where the street opened up into a square. A café? Perhaps a bar, made of wood, seemed to be the most important building in that square.

“Seventh Heaven...”, he read aloud from the sign. “It can't be, is this the bar that architect said he was going to build?!”

Perhaps out of curiosity, perhaps for lack of a better option, or because a bar in the middle of the slums definitely seemed like the best place to ask questions, Zack headed there.

The doors opened and closed behind him, and the sound of his boots echoed against the wooden floor. There were already people in the bar, what appeared to be a couple, at a table in the corner, near the switched-off jukebox.

A black-haired girl was behind the counter, her back turned, shuffling glasses, the sound of clinking glassware accompanying the sound of footsteps, which had now stopped.

“I'm sorry. We're still—"

The girl turned and suddenly fell silent, her lips forming an “o” as she looked at Zack.

“Ah, gomen. I thought—”

“Zack?!”

Her red eyes widened, surprised to see him.

“You remember me?”, she rested her hand on her chest. “Tifa? From Nibelheim?”

Zack looked at Tifa. Then he looked at Tifa again.

“Tifa?!”, he exclaimed. “I can't believe it! Ahah, I didn't even recognize you without your cowboy hat!”

Tifa laughed too, looking at Zack with a soft expression.

“I didn't expect to find you here.”, the girl commented. “What are you doing in the Slums?”

“I didn't expect to find you here either!”, Zack replied, leaning over the counter with a smile on his lips. “Do you work here?”

“Actually, it's my bar,” she replied in the same gentle tone.

“Souka? I'm happy for you.”

They smiled at each other. Tifa didn't expect to find the Class First in a place as simple as the Slums (even though it was Zack they were talking about), and for Zack, finding the girl was almost a confirmation that he was going to find the person he was looking for.

“Oh, please sit down.”, said Tifa. “Even though we're not open yet, I can serve you something.”

She turned back, to face the drinks sitting on the counter behind her.

“I'm still learning, but I'm sure I can make you something you'll like.”, she murmured.

“Thanks.”, Zack sat down on one of the stools at the counter.

“But honestly, I didn't expect you to come here. I'm glad to see you're okay.”, said the young woman. “Does your girlfriend live here?”

“Ie. Aerith lives in Sector 5.”, explained Zack.

“Mm. Souka?”

“Actually.”, Zack began, and the clinking of bottles could be heard. “I'm here because—I mean, I was hoping you might know where he is—”

The doors opened and closed suddenly.

“Tifa.”, hurried footsteps could be heard as the person made their way through the bar.

“Sorry I'm late, I was—”

The boy stopped midway and mid-sentence. Blue eyes met Mako's streaked blue eyes.

“Cloud?”

“Zack?!”

Cloud's lips parted, Zack stood up and stilled, staring at his friend with his jaw almost dropped.

Tifa had changed, but perhaps because he had spent so much time with him, Cloud seemed to have changed much more!

He had been a small, skinny kid, and even when he had gotten pregnant, he hadn't gained enough weight to change that.

Now, Cloud had definitely grown. He was still shorter than Zack, and thin, but his body had become more developed, with a narrow waist and shoulders and long limbs. His face was no longer so young either, his features more defined, with the same delicacy and the same eyes incredible blue. His blond hair was shorter, tousled over his forehead.

Maybe it was the clothes? Zack had seen Cloud wear light colors, but now he was dressed entirely in dark, dark blue, which made his skin look even lighter.

Zack didn't know if he was looking at him in surprise or amazement.

Cloud had really become—

“Wh-what are you doing here?”, Cloud struggled to regain his composure, Zack smiled openly and rested his hands on his hips.

“What do you think? I came to see you!”, he replied. “You've grown so much in two years! How old are you now? 18?”

“17...”

“Seventeen! It seems like such a long time ago!” Zack smiled even more. “How are you?”

“Fine.”, Cloud's expression relaxed, but he didn't smile. He turned his face toward Tifa.

“Do you mind if I start later?”

“Oh.”, she looked confused for a moment. “No, of course not. Zack came here specifically to see you. I don't mind if you come in later.”

“Thanks.”, Cloud turned back to Zack. “I live nearby. Do you want to—do you mind if we go there?”

Zack smiled.

“I'm right behind you.”

…

...

...

It was, essentially, a bedroom. There was a large bed on one side, a wardrobe, a sofa, and a small refrigerator. There were toys scattered on the floor, as well as some clothes.

“Sorry about the mess.”, Cloud muttered, closing the door behind him. Zack took a few steps into the room and shook his head.

“Don't worry about it.”, he said. “It looks comfortable. How long have you been in Midgar?”

“About five months.”, Cloud replied, staying by the door.

Zack looked around and his eyes landed on the sofa. He smiled when he saw the chocobo stuffed animal. The mother, not the chick, that Angeal had offered.

“Souka?”

“How... how did you know I was here?”, asked Cloud.

“Oh, your mom told me.”, Zack replied promptly. “I went to Nibelheim and Claudia-san told me you had come to Midgar, that you were in Sector 7. Honestly, I was surprised you had the courage to come here like this. But we country kids always end up coming to the city, don't we?”

Zack smiled again, and Cloud hid a small smile before asking.

“How are you?”

“Fine, but that doesn't matter. I want to know about you, man.”

“Huh, it was you that just got back from the war with Wutai.”

“It was a war like any other.”, Zack shrugged, and Cloud couldn't tell if the subject bored him or disturbed him. “I got some new scars, completed a lot of missions. All in a hero's day's work!”

“I'm glad you're okay.”, said Cloud. “There's... a lot of news. But they rarely talk about... the soldiers.”

“I'm fine, as you can see.”, Zack said and looked around the room again. “What about your son? Where's Hope?”

“A friend is taking care of him right now.”, Cloud replied. “I was supposed to help Tifa with the bar.”

“Souka? I can take care of him if you need me to. Or help Tifa, since you're not at the bar because of me.”

“No need. The bar only starts to fill up later in the evening. And Wedge usually helps me. He's good with kids.”

“Mmm. But I'm not far away anymore. So, you can count on me! Do you still have your phone?”

"Mm. I think so. But you don't have—"

"Great! Oh, I have to give you my new number. You know how the Company is. ‘New life,’ 'new contact. “

“Zack.”, Cloud had to interrupt him. “That... is very nice of you, but you don't have to worry. Things aren't like they used to be. I don't need help anymore, I can do things for myself.”

Cloud crossed his arms decisively, but avoided Zack's Mako eyes, a moment passed.

“I never helped you because I thought you needed it.”, he muttered, shaking his head. “I helped you because you were my friend and I wanted to help you. And you still are. I missed you. And Hope. And now that I'm back…”

Zack rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

“I know it's been two years, and of course things aren't going to be the same. But if you want to... you know... pick up where we left off... no, that doesn't sound right.”

Zack rested his hand on his chin and thought for a moment, under Cloud's slightly perplexed gaze.

"What I mean is, I still want us to be friends, if you want to.”

Cloud's eyes softened, a small smile appeared on his lips, and for a moment Zack was looking at the 14-year-old boy from Nibelheim again.

“God, Sephiroth deserved to see this.”, Zack thought to himself, feeling jealous of himself for the other Class First.

“Mm.”, the young man agreed with a nod. “That... I'd like that.”

Zack smiled more, then had to look away from Cloud. Since when did that kind of statement make him embarrassed?!

“Ahhh, so...”, Zack looked around. “It's strange that you haven't asked me about Sephiroth yet.”

“!”

“You know, he was the one who asked me to come see you guys. And I can assure you, he never asks me for anything.”, Zack turned back to Cloud, and his smile disappeared.

Cloud looked away, his eyes suddenly distant. His heart had raced at the mere mention of the name. Not that he didn't hear it regularly. The hero of Shinra, the Demon of Wutai, the Class First was always a popular topic among everyone.

But Zack saying it was different: Sephiroth was no longer that unattainable legend and took on a body of flesh and blood.

That was the power his name alone had over Cloud.

“Mm. Souka.”, he finally muttered simply, and Zack was sure something was wrong.

Now, the 14-year-old Cloud would have blushed completely at the mere mention of Sephiroth. And, knowing that he was worried about him and had asked Zack to go see him, Cloud would have reacted like a village girl (Zack, from Gongaga, was allowed to think that).

But Cloud's expression only closed further, and Zack was having trouble understanding why.

“I'm sorry... I know... I guess two years isn't... that long for someone who's is not there.”, he muttered, paying attention to Cloud's reactions. “I didn't want to... make you think about painful things.”

“You didn't.”, Cloud replied, almost dryly. “I just didn't imagine... that he would ask you that...”

“No?”, Zack frowned. Hadn't Sephiroth made almost daily trips to Nibelheim for a year? That seemed like very little in comparison. “He asked me to take care of you guys. Me and Angeal, but Angeal couldn't come today. He sends his regards.”

From Cloud's expression, that had been the wrong thing to say. He frowned and hugged his arms tighter to his chest.

If Zack didn't know better, he would say that Cloud was... offended...?

“We don't... need you to take care of us.”, said Cloud.

“It was just a way of speaking.”, Zack tried, but Cloud only sighed, the offense replaced by something colder.

“It's just...”, Cloud broke his stance to move across the room, probably so he wouldn't have to look at Zack while he spoke and not appearing cowardly while doing so. “I didn't think he still cared...”

Cloud picked up one of the items of clothing on the floor, a pair of children's pajama pants.

Zack, being Zack, was grateful that Sephiroth wasn't there to hear that. Because if it hurt Zack, how would the other Class First feel?

“Of course he cares!”, Zack countered. “He cares a lot, Cloud. Don't think—”

Cloud already had two more pieces of clothing in his hands and still wasn't looking at Zack.

“You think Sephiroth doesn't care?”, the sudden realization hit Zack like a slap in the face. “You... think he won't come back?”

Cloud didn't hesitate, because even though it was like a bomb in Zack's mind, Cloud had already thought about it several times.

“I think so.”, he confessed. “It's normal, isn't it? Especially now, he's a hero. He has so many other things. It's normal that he won't come back.”

Zack stared at Cloud, who was facing him, even though their eyes didn't meet.

“Sephiroth isn't like that, and you know it.”, Zack said. “He'll come back. I'm sure of it.”

“People change.”, Cloud murmured, with the same cold mind as someone who had thought about those things more than once. “And I couldn't just wait... for the war to end.”

“...is that why you came to Midgar?”, Zack muttered. That alone should have been a warning. The idea of Cloud being in Midgar was detestable to Sephiroth. If Zack dared to bet (because he would never say it out loud, much less in front of Sephiroth), he would think that Sephiroth was afraid: that once in Midgar, his secret would be discovered and Cloud's peaceful life would end, dominated by Shinra and the hero's fervent fans.

“Mm. He... never wanted that.”

Cloud wouldn't say paranoia, even though he tasted like that.

“You... really think so?”

“I have a son to take care of. I can't just wait for him. I had to move on.”

And maybe that was why Cloud's eyes didn't seem as bright as when he was madly in love with Shinra's hero.

But Zack could understand. It was the pain of growing up, of becoming stronger. Cloud couldn't just sit in Nibelheim, waiting for an endless conflict to end and Sephiroth to return.

But... preferring to think that Sephiroth would never return was... a little cruel. Both to Cloud, who had given up hope, and to Sephiroth, who was clearly still clinging to it.

“Two years... it really is a long time.”, Zack thought to himself as he watched Cloud pick up another piece of clothing from the floor. “Well, but some things don't change.”

That Cloud seemed to be fighting so hard for his son. That didn't surprise Zack. Not at all.

“Mm. I understand.”, Zack finished and crossed his arms. “Still, you'll see that you're wrong. When the war is over and Sephiroth comes back to you. Until then—”

Zack walked over to his friend and handed him a piece of clothing he had picked up from the sofa, a child's pajama top.

“You can count on me, you hear?”

Cloud smiled, and Zack felt jealous of Sephiroth again. But for another moment, Zack could enjoy the fact that that smile was directed at him.

At least until the war was over.

Which would still take two long years...

Chapter Text

Cloud was 16 when he left Nibelheim. Obviously, he wasn't the youngest person to do so. He himself would have left at 14 if he had enlisted in the army, pursuing his dream of joining Soldier.

The big difference between Cloud and the other boys was that he had a baby who was less than two years old and that he took with him.

Claudia had offered to take care of Hope while Cloud got settled in Midgar. The woman's intentions probably went further than that. To raise her grandson in place of her son. So that Cloud could build a life for himself, learn a trade, meet other people, maybe find someone special to be with.

But Cloud had been adamant about taking the baby with him, as if there were no other option, no matter how heavy the responsibility on his young shoulders was. It was one thing to be Nibelheim, in his home, with his mother and everyone else willing to help, and it was another completely different thing being in Midgar, on the other side of the world, with plates and tall buildings and totally unknown, unfamiliar people, plus the dangers that the city brought.

Claudia hadn't tried to stop him, not even for a moment.

“So, was it Tifa who invited you here?”, Zack asked. They were both sitting at a table at Seventh Heaven. There weren't many people there that night, and Tifa had told Cloud to relax and enjoy the company of his friend, whom he hadn't seen in so long. The young woman was working behind the bar, and another girl, whom Zack had seen sitting at the table by the door when he entered, was circulating around the bar, serving tables.

“Mm.”, Cloud nodded. “She had come to Midgar about six months ago at the time and said she would help me if I wanted to come. That I could work with her at first and that the room next to hers was vacant.”

“Hm, I see.”, Zack said. “And you came.”

“Hai. There weren't many opportunities in Nibelheim anyway.”

“I bet it's been an adventure!”, Zack said. “The first time away from home is always exciting!”

Cloud thought the word “scary” was much more appropriate. But he also didn't believe that someone like Zack had felt fear and not just pure excitement when leaving Gongaga.

The girl who was serving approached their table.

“Good evening.”, she said, flashing a beautiful smile at Zack. “What can I get two handsome guys like you to drink?”

The young woman winked at Cloud, who opened and closed his mouth and looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment.

The girl tossed her ponytail over her shoulder and smiled more.

“So, Cloud? Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“Do you two know each other?”, Zack asked, a friendly smile on his lips.

“Mm.”, Cloud nodded and then sighed. “Jessie, this is Zack. Zack, this is Jessie.”, said Cloud, looking at the girl. “Zack is an... old friend.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”, said Jessie. “And it's nice to finally meet one of Cloud's friends. He rarely talks about his ‘dark past before Midgar’, you know?”

Zack laughed.

Cloud seemed unsure how to react for a moment, slightly embarrassed.

“Sorry, Jessie.”, Zack said. “Cloud here doesn't let me say much.”

“I figured.”, Jessie replied promptly. “So, what spectacular cocktail from Tifa can I get you?”

“I don't want anything.”

“Ahh...”, Zack tried to think of an answer.

“Jessie.”, Tifa called the girl from the other side of the bar. “You can leave that to me.”

“Well, looks like you're getting VIP treatment.”, Jessie smiled. “I'd love to stay and chat, but there's work to be done. Call me if you need anything else, guys!”

And with that she walked away toward another table.

“So, you were saying that Tifa helped you move.”, Zack said. “And then? And then?”

“There's not… a lot more to say.”, Cloud muttered. “I work here at night and do some odd jobs in the Slums during the day. It's not much, but...”

Cloud didn't finish, letting the sentence hang in the air.

“But it's impressive.”, Zack praised him. “That you're getting by. Living in the slums can't be easy. Especially with a baby. And coming from the countryside.”

Zack smiled again.

“You're doing a great job, man!”

A small, gentle smile appeared on Cloud's face, and the boy lowered his eyes.

“Great job” was not how he would describe it. He was, essentially, getting by, often on the verge of survival.

But it wasn't as if he was going to say that to Zack.

“Here you go.”, Tifa placed two glasses on the table, one in front of each of them. Through the glass, the drink glowed red.

“Woah!”, Zack grabbed his glass and raised it to his eyes. “Did you make this, Tifa?”

“Mm-hmm. It's called Cosmo Canyon, it's the house specialty.”, she smiled. “I made yours without alcohol, Cloud. I hope you like it.”

“Thank you very much.”, Zack thanked her as Tifa returned to the counter, then turned his attention to Cloud. “You still not allowed to drink?”

“Not on work days.”, Cloud replied.

“Mm. Souka.”, Zack raised his glass to his mouth and took a sip. “Woah, this is really good!”

“Mm.”, Cloud agreed.

“Damn, I can't even remember the last time I drank. It must have been a long time ago.”

Cloud smiled and also took a sip of his drink, Zack put his glass down.

“Mm, I remember.”, he said. “It was after Hope was born. Angeal and I went out to celebrate.”

Zack rested his elbow on the table and laid his chin on his hand.

“It seems like such a long time ago.”

“You guys... really did that?”, asked Cloud. That Zack would do it wasn't that surprising. But Angeal? He had only seen him once, but Class First seemed too serious and sober for that...

“Hai. I think Sephiroth was in Nibelheim, but Angeal asked me if I wanted to go celebrate. We were both super happy, so I accepted. We didn't get home until dawn. Angeal later told me that he went on a mission with Genesis the next morning and had to pretend he wasn't hungover.”

Zack laughed at the memory and Cloud let out a nasal laugh.

“Huh.”

A few moments of silence followed. Cloud looked at the content of his glass before drinking, Zack just stared at him.

Honestly, not looking was the hard part. Cloud had matured well, he seemed more confident too.

...okay, he was pretty. He had always been pretty, but now? Even Zack had to admit in his subconscious that Cloud was really, really beautiful, though it was because he missed him, and not because of that, that he couldn't take his eyes off his friend.

“Zack.”, the mention of his name made the Class First straighten up in his chair and ask himself: “What the hell am I thinking?”

“Mm?”

“He... isn't here, is he...?”, Cloud spoke slowly and looked up at Zack. “In Midgar...”

“He...?”, thought Zack.

Well, there was only one person Cloud could be referring to...

“Ie.”, Zack replied in a more serious tone. “Angeal and I were called back. Sephiroth stayed in Wutai. Angeal and I tried to take his place, but we couldn't.”

Zack looked around for a moment before speaking.

“The war keeps going.”, he muttered. “... I'm sorry... I—no one knows when it will really end.”

Zack rubbed the back of his neck.

“I'm sorry. I wish... I really wish I could give you better news.”, Zack watched Cloud's expression and quickly added. “But you know he won't get hurt or anything like that. And Wutai will surrender sooner or later, so—”

Zack continued to rub the back of his neck, embarrassed that he didn't know what else to say to comfort his friend. He was so nervous that he didn't even notice Cloud's reaction.

Cloud stopped himself from breathing a sigh of relief.

The 14-year-old Cloud would have been devastated. The reality that Sephiroth had gone to war only hit Cloud a week later, when he heard about the conflict on the radio at the Village General Store.

For a moment, he stood frozen in the middle of the store, Hope in his arms, until a woman bumped into him. On the radio, they announced the conflict with Wutai, and that everyone could rest assured that the army, Soldier, and the hero Sephiroth would protect Shinra.

Of course, Cloud realized that Sephiroth had gone to war, and of course he cried when he woke up an hour later, alone in the dark. Sephiroth had gone even further saying that he didn't know when he would return, asking him to take care of their son.

But hearing the announcement on the radio was like a punch in the stomach. It was reality catching up with him: that Sephiroth was much further away now than when he was in Midgar, trapped in an armed conflict with no way out.

But he was a hero, a Soldier Class First. In a conflict like that, no one would be as important or as great as Sephiroth.

So, if Zack had told Cloud of Nibelheim that, after two long years, there was no return in sight for Sephiroth, it would have been a deep blow to him.

Now? Cloud refrained from breathing a sigh of relief because that would mean he was afraid Sephiroth would return, a fear he wasn't supposed to have.

How stupid was he? To exchange sadness at the absence for the fear of the return?

That irrational fear had begun when Cloud left Nibelheim, resulting in almost crippling anxiety.

Cloud had only seen Sephiroth angry twice: first, when he found out about Hope, and the terrible reaction he had. The coldness in his eyes and words, the denial. Cloud thought he had seen him laugh when he first saw him, on the night Zack brought the hero to Nibelheim to learn the truth.

But that shadow of a cruel smile did not suit Sephiroth at all, and Cloud had always thought that vision was a product of his own insecurity and fear at that night.

After his initial refusal, Sephiroth had completely accepted that the child was his. Cloud had never questioned the sudden change of heart, and Sephiroth had never spoken of it either. Perhaps there was no explanation. Sephiroth had said it was impossible, but then he had accepted it. No, afterwards he even... he even seemed pleased with the idea. Perhaps even... happy...?

The second time was when Genesis appeared in Gongaga. Oh, the brief exchange between the two Class Firsts was like watching them fight each other. Sephiroth was clearly mad with the situation, and Cloud couldn't do anything.

Honestly, he felt completely powerless watching the two men just talk. And Sephiroth was clearly controlling himself.

Cloud had never seen him truly angry, and the closest he had come was when a “friend” of his had found out about Hope. In the end, it all came down to that: how much Sephiroth wanted to keep both Cloud and his son a secret. Cloud knew perfectly well that Sephiroth didn't want them in Midgar. Not even near Midgar, if he could help it.

But that's where they were now, in the Slums of Midgar, in the heart of the Shinra empire.

The sudden opening of the Seventh Haven doors woke Cloud from his thoughts.

“Cloud!”, Wedge's excited voice made him look back, Zack too.

Wedge was at the door, waving his arm to get the boy's attention. When he saw that he had succeeded, he stepped back outside.

“Another friend of yours?”, Zack asked.

“He's the one who takes care of Hope at night.”, Cloud stood up, Zack didn't even finish his drink, he jumped up from his chair.

“Can I see him?”, Zack asked, clasping his hands together in appeal. “Please?”

Cloud looked at Zack for a moment.

“Mm.”, he agreed.

Zack was about to take out his wallet to pay, but Jessie passed him and gave him a light bump on the arm.

“Cute boys don't pay today.”, she teased, winking at Cloud.

“Oi, Jessie!”

“Haaaai! I'm coming!”

And she walked away toward a customer. Zack looked at Cloud with a “what do I do?” look, but Cloud just turned his back to leave. Zack put the money back with a sigh and followed his friend.

The night wasn't very cold. Wedge, the guy Zack had seen entering the bar, was outside, having already descended the wooden stairs leading to Seventh Heaven. When he saw them, he smiled.

“Yo, Cloud.”, he greeted. “Sorry I'm late! A cat had kittens and I was showing them to Hope!”

“Mm, no problem.”, said Cloud. Zack followed his friend's gaze to Wedge, more precisely to the child who was holding his hand.

No, Zack wasn't looking at a 2-year-old, but at a mini (very mini) version of Sephiroth! The short silver hair, the fair skin, the bright green eyes (even without Mako), and even some of his facial features that were once too young to resemble anyone's had become more defined, bringing them even closer to Sephiroth's doll-like features.

Only the eyes, perhaps because of their shape, were Cloud's.

Zack stood there for a moment, staring, his mouth open.

“Damn, he really looks like—”

He suddenly fell silent, because no one was supposed to know who the father was. It was a good thing that hardly anyone in the Slums had ever seen Sephiroth or knew what he looked like, because Hope looked just like him!

“Oh, hello!”, Wedge greeted him. “Is he your friend, Cloud?”

“Mm.”, Cloud came down the stairs. Hope looked away from a cat that was walking away to look at his Oka-san, a smile spreading across his lips.

“Forget it.”, Zack thought, correcting his own thoughts. “He looks just like Cloud!”

The way he smiled, his eyes widening to look at his Mother, was exactly the same as the way Cloud smiled!

“Oka-san!”, Hope murmured. Cloud had already come down the stairs and crouched down to pick up Hope, who hugged him.

Zack... he really missed them, didn't he…?

The Class First came down the stairs and stood watching for a moment longer, Cloud and Hope quickly separated and held hands.

“Thanks, Wedge.”, Cloud said.

“You're welcome! Same time tomorrow?”

“I can help if you want.”, Zack chimed in. “I don't have anything tomorrow.”

Wedge looked at the man accompanying Cloud. Well, if he wasn't a soldier, he was definitely an athlete with that build. Wedge had never seen him around before... Was he a new resident? Or an old friend of Cloud's who had come to visit?

And also, how many months had it taken for Cloud to trust him with his son? Four? Five?

“I'll talk to you tomorrow, Wedge.”, said Cloud, not answering Zack's question.

“Of course! See you tomorrow.”. he hurried back up the stairs to the bar, turning to Zack.

“Nice to meet you!”

“Oh, nice to meet you!”, was all Zack had time to say before the other man entered the bar, the wooden doors closing behind him.

“Zack.”, Cloud stopped on his way to look at the other man, Hope's hand clutching his bigger one.

“Are you coming?”

“Mm.”, Zack nodded and followed the two.

It was a fairly short walk between the “house” and the bar. As expected, Cloud walked slowly so that Hope, still taking uncertain steps, could keep up with him. At one point, he had to pick him up. Even if it wasn’t too far, it was too long a walk for such a small child.

“They seem really sweet...”, Zack thought with a smile and followed behind.

Cloud opened the door and let Hope enter first. Before Zack could enter, Cloud stopped him.

“Don't... mention him... please...”, Cloud whispered.

Once again, Zack had to associate “him” with Sephiroth. Cloud always had difficulty saying the Class First's name, but if Zack had previously understood that Cloud didn't say it out of embarrassment (it was cute, even if Zack reminded him from time to time that they had a child together!), now Zack didn't understand why.

“He's still too young, but I'd rather you didn't.”, he said, his blue eyes without Mako meeting the soldier blue ones.

“You didn’t tell him about Sephiroth?”, he asked in a whisper.

“No.”, something like guilt seemed to flash in his blue eyes for a moment, then disappeared. “He's too young to understand.”

“He's his son.”, Zack defended.

“That's part of the problem. We don't need Midgar to know that.”

“You haven't told anyone...?”, Zack asked. “Not even your friends?”

Cloud sighed.

“The fewer people who know, the better.”, was the only explanation he gave, then he went inside.

Hope was sitting on the floor, clearly waiting for his mother. The way his face lit up when he looked at Cloud made Zack's heart tremble.

But that was wrong. It was wrong for Cloud not to tell his son about Sephiroth! Even if... Mm...

Yes... of course there was no... confirmation that Hope wouldn't tell anyone about it. And that one person wouldn´t tell another and another and the information would rise to the Plate, until it reached the ears of all the fervent Sephiroth fans, the press, the Silver Elite, and Shinra.

But... still…

“Hope.”, Cloud picked up his son, holding him on his hip. “Do you remember Zack?”

The child's gaze followed Oka-san's to Zack, who smiled openly at him.

“Hello!”

Hope didn't answer, staring at Zack with wide green eyes.

“Say hello, Hope.”

“Hello.”, the baby babbled.

“Damn, he's so cute.”, Zack said, bending down to Hope's height. “You may not remember me, kid, but I knew you when you were still in your mother's belly. Time really flies.”

Cloud smiled, Hope reached out and touched Zack's face.

It was strange, Sephiroth's piercing gaze in such a young child, mixed with the softness of Cloud's eyes.

“Mm? Do you like my eyes?”, Zack asked. “They're bright, aren't they?”

Hope didn't answer, he just let go of Zack's face and leaned back against his mother.

“Sleep...”, Hope murmured and rubbed one of his eyes.

“Mm. Let's go to sleep now.”, said Cloud.

“Yes, it's late.”, said Zack. Maybe it wasn't that late, but it must have been for such a small child.

“Thanks for coming, Zack.”

“No need to thank me.”, replied the Class First, crossing his arms confidently. “So? Do you need me to look after Hope tomorrow?”

“...no, don't worry about it.”, murmured Cloud, Hope leaning his head against his chest.

“But if you need to, you can ask me, okay?”, Zack said. “You don't have to do everything yourself, man.”

Cloud seemed to hesitate for a moment, then looked up at Zack.

The same gaze of the boy the Class First had met in Nibelheim...

“Maybe... on Friday...?”, he suggested, and Zack's face lit up.

“Of course!”

When the alarm clock rang, Cloud just wanted to sink deeper into bed and go back to sleep. It was early, a faint light was coming in through the closed curtains, the room was still dark.

As much as the boy's only wish was to disappear under the covers and sleep, he knew he couldn't.

Hope, lying next to him on the wall side, stirred, and Cloud, lying on his stomach, was forced to lift his head and stretch his arm to turn off the alarm.

Another sleepless night...

The boy sighed and brushed his tousled hair from his forehead, rubbing his eyes to ward off sleep.

He had been in Midgar for about two weeks and still hadn't managed to sleep well a single night. To make matters worse, if he didn't start early, he wouldn't be able to find any work to do, no matter how little it paid. Just working at Tifa's bar at night didn't pay enough. Not with a baby.

Cloud sighed again and pushed the covers aside to get up. He was sleepy and impossibly tired from getting so little sleep lately.

It wasn't the noise; that area was strangely quiet at night. And Hope didn't even cry at night anymore, unless something happened.

No, Cloud's insomnia wasn't caused by anything other than himself.

He was in Midgar, at the heart of Shinra. The only place where Sephiroth didn't want him. Sephiroth had always shown how much he disliked that idea. Sephiroth didn't want his son exposed, he didn't want his son's mother exposed.

And now Cloud was there, not wanting to imagine what would happen if people found out about his secret.

He didn't fear Sephiroth, he feared that what the hero feared would come true.

And that idea, that someone would look at Hope and realize whose son he was, kept Cloud awake at night. Sephiroth was too far away, and Cloud didn't want to have to face Shinra alone if they found out.

When he walked down the street, he couldn't help but constantly look over his shoulder, waiting for something, for something bad to happen.

This made him walk in the less crowded areas of the Slums and always keep Hope close to him, or at least under his watchful eye, which was extremely difficult for him when he had to work.

The plate over his head, the constant feeling of suffocation, the fear that someone would see, that someone would realize, that someone would know...

Cloud knew he was paranoid, that he lived in paranoia. It wasn't as if anyone knew Sephiroth well enough there to know that Hope was his son.

But that didn't ease the weight he felt in his chest, pressing on his rib cage and squeezing his lungs.

And it kept him awake at night, awake until almost dawn, wondering what would happen if someone found out.

And God... what if Sephiroth found out? What if he came back? How would he react? Sephiroth had never intimidated him (apart from the overwhelming admiration he felt for the hero), but Cloud had never displeased him so openly.

The crippling anxiety made the boy want to sink back into the sheets, but his responsibilities were too important, not even the start of a headache and fatigue could make him give up.

Cloud moved his head to look at Hope.

“Oka-san...”, he muttered, once, quietly. Looking at his son, Cloud remembered why he was fighting, but the similarities to his Father, that were getting even more prominent everyday, also reminded him of why he stayed awake at night.

“Good morning.”, he murmured, and brushed a few strands of thin silver hair from the baby's forehead. “Want to eat?”

Hope nodded, his eyes sleepy....

...

...

…

Cloud left the room with Hope in his arms. He was going to see if he could leave him with Tifa and take care of some deliveries he had to make during the day, and then see if anyone else had anything he could do.

It was difficult to find work when he had neither experience nor great skills.

He climbed the stairs leading to Seventh Heaven and went inside. Tifa was already up (Cloud suspected it was just to help him, since the girl worked until even later than he did), and she smiled when she saw them.

“Good morning.”, she greeted them.

“Good morning.”, said Cloud. Tifa moved closer to them and smiled at Hope.

“Good morning, Hope.”

“Oka-san.”, babbled the baby.

“Hai hai. Now you're going to stay with me so Oka-san can go to work.”, said Tifa in a sweet tone.

“Is that your friend, Tifa?”

The other man's voice made Cloud lift his face to look at the person approaching from behind the bar.

The first thing Cloud noticed was that the man was tall. Very tall. Perhaps even taller than Sephiroth, even though he didn't carry himself with the same imposing elegance, which was perhaps why he didn't really seem taller than the hero. seemed  

“Oh, Barret.”, Tifa said to the man and looked at the blond boy. “Cloud, this is Barret. He helped me a lot when I came to Midgar. Barret, these are Cloud and Hope from Nibelheim. I told you—

“You're Cloud!?”, asked Barret, looking genuinely surprised. “But he's just a kid! You told me he had a son!”

Cloud looked at the other man, wanting nothing more than to lower his eyes and walk away. But he knew that if he didn't stand his ground and defend himself now, he wouldn't be able to do it later.

“He's my son.”, said Cloud. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“Ahhh...”, Barret rubbed the back of his neck, probably realizing he shouldn't have said that out loud. “No, I just didn't expect it to be someone so young. Kids these days are having them younger and younger...”

Tifa stepped between the two men.

“See you at two, right?”, she asked, changing the subject.

“Mm.”, Cloud handed Hope to Tifa, and the baby continued to look at his mother.

“Oka-san...”, he whimpered, with a sad expression.

“I'll come back for you later.”, Cloud murmured.

“Oka-san has to work, but we're going to have fun.”, Tifa said to Hope, then looked at Cloud. “Don't worry, I'll take care of him. You can go.”

“Thank you.”, Cloud said, and Hope reached out his small hand to touch his mother, who accepted it for a moment. “See you later.”

Then he left the bar.

Leaving Hope behind was the other thing that weighed heavily on Cloud's shoulders.

Sephiroth had asked him to take care of their son before leaving for Wutai. And Cloud had done it!

He had never thought for a moment of leaving Hope behind when he came to Midgar.

But it wasn't the same thing. Hope had gone from being with Oka-san constantly to just a few hours a day and at night. Hope had complained and cried at first, but perhaps sensing Cloud's anxiety (who had also cried one night), he had eventually calmed down.

It was just as hard for Cloud, if not harder, as it was for Hope, to give up the comfort of having his son with him (in his womb, on his chest, in his arms). But he had no choice: Midgar was not Nibelheim, and although Tifa had helped him immensely with the room and the job at the bar, money was always tight and he had to work hard to find jobs to do in the Slums.

Cloud felt he was failing: his son, Sephiroth, who had entrusted him with his baby. He had to work so that Hope would not go without, but that meant he had to be away from his son most of the time.

Cloud forced himself to push those thoughts and the fatigue he felt aside as he made his way to the place where he would pick up the things he needed to deliver. He had work to do.

....

…

...

Formula was expensive. Very expensive.

Cloud had stopped breastfeeding Hope when he came to Midgar. It had been quite difficult for both of them at first, but it was the only way. Hope couldn't be away from Cloud so that his mother could work if he was exclusively breastfed.

It was another blow to Cloud's self-confidence, another reason to keep him awake at night feeling like a failure, regretting what he had to do to get money, feeling like he was betraying Sephiroth.

Formula was expensive, but it was the first thing Cloud had to buy for his son, along with diapers, two things that might have been cheaper outside the Slums, but were impossibly expensive there.

Between buying the things Hope needed, paying the rent, saving money to be able to afford a place that wasn't just a room to live in, and trying to survive, the money was barely enough, and sometimes it wasn't even enough for everything. Cloud often found himself going to bed on an empty stomach, but he couldn't complain. Hope, in the bed next to him, snuggled up against his chest, was content and slept soundly.

It wasn't all that bad...

Things started to get easier when Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie appeared on the scene.

Of course, Cloud still kept them as far away as he could, avoiding talking about himself and Hope and avoiding asking them for anything. As absurd as it was, he couldn't help but distrust everyone, even those three.

But then, necessity overcame paranoia: Tifa couldn't take care of Hope all the time, and Cloud, in order to continue working, had to ask them for help.

And they helped, without making many questions and without asking for anything in return.

Things with Barret were... more complicated. The two hadn't gotten along since the first time they met, and the few encounters that followed didn't improve that.

The only thing, apart from Tifa of course, that forced them to get along was that Barret had a daughter, Marlene, who was the same age as Hope, and the two got along very well. And so, Barret and Cloud had put up a face for the sake of their children and “get along.”

And then Zack returned from Wutai, and while Cloud could avoid everyone else and keep Tifa, Wedge, Biggs, and all the people from the Slums away, Zack was a different story.

Cloud couldn't keep him away, no matter how hard he tried. Zack showed up uninvited and never cared if Cloud sent him away because he had to work. He offered to take care of Hope (even though he might not have been the most competent person to do so) and stayed late with him if Cloud needed to work at Seventh Heaven until later.

“Mm, are you sure you're eating properly?”, Zack asked, halfway through putting a spoonful of applesauce into Hope's mouth as he sat on his lap.

“Mm?”, Cloud pulled his shirt over his head.

“Mm, you look like you've lost weight.”, Zack commented. “Are you eating well?”

“Y-yes, why do you ask?”, said Cloud, ready to dismiss the subject.

“Mm...”, Zack didn't seem very convinced. “Don't tell me you're not eating?!”

“Do you mind staying with Hope until I get back?”, asked Cloud, trying to avoid his friend's concern.

“Yeah, no problem,” Zack said with a smile. “Bath and put him to bed, right?”

“Mm.”, Cloud agreed.

“Then, good luck on the job.”

“Thanks.”

“Oka-san!”

“Zack will take care of you.”, Cloud said, leaning over Hope. “See you soon.”

“Soon.”, Hope said and smiled.

Zack easily blended into the Slum, even with his athletic build and bright eyes. His easy smile and the friendliness with which he spoke to everyone made the curiosity about his presence easily dissipate.

But Angeal, who went there a month later, couldn't blend in so easily.

Even without the Buster Sword and having come only at night so as not to attract attention, Angeal's figure (which was even broader than Sephiroth's) almost immediately gave away his military status.

Zack knocked on the door. He had come to accompany his mentor (Angeal was not as familiar with things below the Plate as Zack) to see Cloud and Hope. The other Class First also had a promise to keep.

Angeal looked around. There were still people on the street, the streetlights were on, and a night breeze was blowing.

It wasn't an ugly area. But honestly? Nibelheim seemed much nicer for raising a child.

Cloud opened the door and smiled when he saw Zack.

“Hello.”, he greeted, then looked at Angeal. “Good evening.”

“Good evening, Cloud.”, greeted the Class First.

Cloud opened the door wider and stepped aside to let them in.

“We're coming in!”

“Excuse us.”

Hope was sitting on the sofa, but he looked up at the new arrivals.

“Hello, Hope!”, Zack said cheerfully and walked over to the sofa. “How are you?”

Hope looked at Zack with big green eyes but didn't answer.

“Ahh, one day I know you'll answer.”, Zack said with a sigh.

“Thank you so much for having me, Cloud.”, Angeal said, looking at the one-bedroom house. The class First had only been to Nibelheim once and already missed that familiar house.

“No... you don't have to thank me.”, Cloud said.

“Angeal, Angeal, look.”, Zack called out. “Cloud, can I pick him up?”

“Mm.”

Zack picked up Hope and carried him to his mentor.

“Isn't he just like him?”, he asked. “Isn't he?”

Even Angeal was impressed. Zack was right; Hope was the spitting image of his father.

If only Sephiroth were there to see his son...

Angeal felt a pang of guilt about that. If only he had been able to convince the Director, maybe he could have reunited the family...

“Yes, it is.”, Angeal agreed. “No offense, Cloud.”

“Nm.”, Cloud shook his head. “No problem.”

“Zack told me you arrived here a few months ago.”, Angeal said. “How are you doing?”

“Well.”, replied Cloud. “It's... different from Nibelheim.”

“Mm. I don't know if Zack told you, but I'm also from a rural village. When I came to Midgar I also felt the differences.”

“No, Zack didn't tell me.”, Cloud murmured. His friend sat down on the sofa with Hope beside him.

“Banora? Do you know it?”

“No, sorry.”

“No problem. It's a really small village.”

Angeal sat down and watched Hope, who shifted his gaze between Zack on one side and Angeal on the other.

To Angeal, it was like looking at what Sephiroth must have looked like when he was the same age.

And again, Angeal felt that sense of guilt in his chest.

The Class First looked around the room that served as their home. Then at Cloud, who had clearly matured. However, he seemed to have lost weight, and Angeal wondered if Cloud had the same bad habits as Sephiroth when he was under stress.

Or it could be... life in the Slums couldn't be easy. And Sephiroth was no longer around to send money to his son, as Angeal knew his friend did.

“Are you enjoying Midgar?”, Angeal asked.

“It's different from Nibelheim.”, Cloud replied. “Tifa is here too, she's been helping me.”

“Tifa? I see.”, Angeal turned to Hope. “Hello, Hope. I'm sure you don't remember me.”

Hope looked at Angeal with big green eyes, and Angeal felt guilt again.

Angeal petted his hair.

“I'm sure it can't be easy taking care of a baby and doing everything else.”, said Angeal. It wasn't a criticism; there was genuine concern in his voice.

“It isn´t.”, said Cloud, and suddenly felt embarrassed, because Angeal was Sephiroth's best friend and... “But we're fine. There's no need to worry.”

“Of course I worry.”, said Angeal. “Sephiroth isn't here. But that doesn't mean you're unprotected.”

The mention of the name made Hope look more intently at Angeal. Zack thought that maybe he should have told the other Class First what Cloud had said to him, so as not to mention Sephiroth's name in front of his son. But at the same time, he was relieved that he hadn't said anything. Even though he understood Cloud's position, he couldn't agree with it...

“I'm not... unprotected.”, said Cloud. “And I don't need help.”

“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to offend you.”, said Angeal. “But Sephiroth asked Zack and me to watch over you and Hope. And that's what I want to do.”

Angeal crossed his arms before continuing.

“Sephiroth didn't want you to come to Midgar.”, he said. “I won't pretend I didn't understand his reasons, but I'm sure you have yours too.”

Even though he was serious, Angeal smiled to try to lighten the mood.

“As is normal, all kids eventually leave home.”, he said. “Zack and I are examples of that too.”

Then he regained his serious expression.

“I would prefer you to be closer to us. In the Plate.”, said Angeal.

“But that—”

“Sephiroth would certainly not approve.”, sighed the Class First. “But if you're already in Midgar, there's no reason not to do it. Me and Zack could support you both easier.”

Zack looked at Cloud and Angeal, and then wondered why he was surprised that Angeal had gone to such lengths to do what he thought was right. In Sephiroth's absence, it wasn't enough for Angeal to just help from the side-lines.

Or maybe there was something lonely about his intentions, with both of his best friends fighting in a war he couldn't participate in.

Cloud's lips came together and parted, then he seemed to find the words, if not the courage to answer him.

To refuse him.

“I can't accept that.”, Cloud said. “I don't want Hope to have to hide. Or for me to have to fear for him. And in Midgar... it would be impossible.”

Cloud shook his head.

“I'm sorry.”

“I understand.”, Angeal agreed with a nod and rubbed his chin. “I had to ask. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't. I want you to know that the invitation still stands. Always.”

He had grown up. Cloud no longer looked like the shy boy Angeal had known. Of course, there was still uncertainty in his blue eyes, but he had defied everything, and especially Sephiroth, by coming to Midgar on his own terms.

Of course, Angeal's regrets had not diminished, nor had his concern. Hope seemed fine, even though his eyes had flashed at the mention of his father's name. But Cloud...

Everything would be different if Angeal had stayed in his friend's place. Then Sephiroth could have returned home, and Genesis and Angeal...

But at that moment, Angeal respected Cloud's strength. As for Cloud, Angeal's understanding of his feelings would strengthen his determination.

Unfortunately, Cloud's attempt to forget Sephiroth and remove his overwhelming shadow from his son's life would tarnish the relationship between the two...

Cloud was too pretty. In Nibelheim, that didn't make much difference. Cloud didn't really get along with anyone, and in a village, his appearance would never be a topic of conversation.

But in Midgar? In the Slums? It was quite difficult for the boy not to stand out and attract attention, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.

So, the first time someone messed with Cloud on the street, he wasn't expecting it.

Hope wasn't with his mother, fortunately, as it would have been much more unpleasant if he had been.

“Hey, blondie, new around here? Want me to show you around? Or do you want me to show you something else?”

Cloud simply froze, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react! Cloud was from Nibelheim, from the countryside, that kind of thing... was...

In the end, it was Tifa, who was passing by that resolved the matter. Cloud felt even worse that it was Tifa that had to defend him and that he wasn´t been able to react.

Cloud promised himself that it wouldn't happen again. That he wouldn't need anyone to defend him, that he wouldn't freeze up.

The truth is that this wasn't the only time someone random had messed with Cloud, whether he was on the street or at work. Once Hope was with him, but that didn't seem to stop the man from getting too close.

Cloud just ignored the comments and stares and kept walking. As much as he didn't like it, he couldn't do anything, afraid of drawing attention and standing out even more.

But this time, it was after work.

Cloud had left Seventh Heaven around dawn, after his shift ended.

“Hey, are you alone?”, a guy was sitting on the stairs, a beer in his hand. Cloud remembered his face; he should have been a regular customer.

“My shift is over.”, Cloud said simply and walked down the stairs. As he was about to walk away, however, a hand closed around his wrist, preventing him from continuing.

“I wasn't talking about that.”, the man smiled wickedly. “You work here, don't you, with Tifa-chan? You must need some extra cash, right?”

“I'm not interested.”, Cloud said simply. The coldness was a facade; his heart was beating frantically.

“You don't even know what the offer is yet.”, said the man, who must have been drunk, reeking of alcohol, his eyes pulsing with a wicked gleam. “I'd like to see what those hands can do besides serving drinks. If you were a little bee from Honey Bee, I would have destroyed you already.”

“I... I already said I'm not interested.”, Cloud insisted and pulled his wrist toward him, but the man didn't let go.

“Come on, I guarantee I can change your mind.”, the guy taunted. “With a face like that, I bet you're not a virgin. Want to have some fun?”

“No.”, Cloud pulled his wrist harder, but the man still wouldn't let go.

He stood up from the stairs. He was taller than Cloud and definitely older. The guy pulled him closer and put a hand on his butt.

“Not bad...”

“Let go of me!”

Cloud tried to push him away, but the guy grabbed him by the arms, pressing him against himself.

“Or what? Huh?”

Cloud suddenly pushed him away with a strength he didn't know he had, surprising both himself and the other man. The guy fell backwards, landing on his ass on the wooden stairs.

“!”

“!”

What the—?

But the shock quickly passed, and hatred flashed in the man´s eyes. The man was back on his feet in an instant, before Cloud could recover from the shock.

“I'm screwed!”

“You—!”

Cloud didn't even have time to react. The man raised his hand to hit him, but his gesture was stopped by a third person who suddenly grabbed his wrist.

“Oi.”, it was Zack, his tall figure even taller than the other man's. “Cloud didn't do anything to you, don't you dare touch him.”

“And who the hell are you? His boyfriend?”

“What if I am?”, said Zack. “That doesn't give you the right to mess with Cloud. He said no, respect that.”

Zack let go of his wrist and pushed Cloud gently so that he took a few steps back.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, with a genuinely concerned expression. “He didn't hurt you, did he?”

“No.”, Cloud smiled. “Thanks for—”

Turning his back on an opponent was a rookie mistake, but Zack was a Class First, there were no dangerous people in the Slum for him. That's why he probably didn't think the other guy was going to try to hit him.

And the other guy never expected Zack to turn around with superhuman speed and defend the blow, grabbing the other man's fist with his hand.

"?!”

“Oi, let's try to settle this without violence.”, Zack said. Was he angry? Yes, he was! When he saw the other guy grab Cloud and then raise his hand to hit him, his blood boiled so much that he was sure he was going to lunge at him! But he had controlled himself, because Cloud didn't want to draw attention, and starting a fight in the middle of the Slums was totally the opposite of not drawing attention.

“And who are you, huh? This bitch's boyfriend? You think you can come here and act like you own the whole Slum?”

“Listen here...”

But Zack was interrupted by another punch in his direction. He didn't have time to defend himself because he pushed Cloud away with his hand to get him out of the way.

In a few seconds, chaos had broken out. The noise attracted the attention of the bar, causing several customers and Tifa to leave the bar. Some of these guys must have been friends of the guy and were just as drunk, because they quickly joined him against Zack.

“How did this happen?”, Zack thought, as he dodged punches from drunks and hit them with little (he hoped) force to push them away.

If Angeal had been there, he would have said it was a dishonourable fight, and Zack could agree. But maybe this was a good way to get those guys to stop bothering Cloud!

A punch here, a kick there, Zack easily won that crude street fight. But not without a whole crowd gathering to watch.

“Well, there goes the no drawing attention...”, Zack thought.

If people already thought Zack was military, now they were sure.

Zack gave one last punch to the guy who had started it (at least that one felt good!) and lowered his fists, turning back, not even panting.

“I left Hope alone.”, Zack said. “I was worried you were taking too long. Let’s go back, yes?”

Cloud's lips parted in surprise.

Then he just nodded, and under the watchful gaze of the crowd that had gathered and was talking loudly among themselves, they walked away to Cloud's room.

...

...

…

The next day, everyone in the Slums already knew what had happened. About the blond boy who worked at Seventh Heaven and the soldier who had defended him, probably his boyfriend. Kyrie had made it her mission to spread that information throughout the Slum, as well as to start an investigation: “Is the mysterious blue-eyed man an elite soldier or a Soldier operative?” The polls were closed and the results would be announced soon.

The next morning, Cloud left Hope with Biggs and went to the bar to apologize to Tifa for what had happened. It was still his workplace, so an apology was the least he could do.

He walked through the wooden doors and entered the establishment.

Tifa was sitting at one of the tables and smiled when she saw Cloud. But it was Barret who stood up and turned to the boy.

“Who the hell was that guy?”, he asked before Cloud could open his mouth. “What's he doing here?”

Cloud was about to say that it was none of his business, but Tifa's gaze made him think twice.

“He's just a friend.”, Cloud replied.

“Ts, what's a Shinra soldier doing in the Slums?”, Barret asked, clearly furious, his nose wrinkled, his jaw clenched. “They usually only come down here from their pedestal when there's trouble. Or to clean up the messes Shinra make.”

“He just came to help me with Hope.”, Cloud defended, not knowing why he was defending himself.

“What relationship does he have with you? Is he Hope's father?”

“Barret!”, Tifa interrupted, totally shocked.

“Hmph, it wouldn't be that strange. Shinra dumps all its mistakes down here. He wouldn't be the first!”

Tifa looked even more shocked, Cloud's lips parted involuntarily.

“Pff, and we don't need any more Shinra dogs sniffing around here either.”, Barret spat.

“Barret, that's enough.”, Tifa stood up and grabbed his arm. “I told you, and Cloud is telling the truth. Zack is just a friend! He's not here because of Shinra!”

“You say that, Tifa, but—”

“Are you done?”, Cloud asked coldly, his tone catching even Tifa off guard.

“Huh?!”

“I have better things to do than listen to what you have against Shinra. That's not my problem.”, Cloud turned his back and left the bar without looking back.

“Ts, brat.”, said Barret. Tifa crossed her arms. “What?”

But the girl just followed her friend.

...

…

...

Tifa apologized, but Cloud wouldn't accept it. She hadn't done anything wrong; if anyone had to apologize, it was Barret.

Zack had also tried to apologize, but Cloud understood what had led him to act that way. Besides, most people had stopped harassing Cloud so openly. They still gave him dirty looks, but they didn't catcall him in the middle of the street anymore.

One less problem.

“Nee, Cloud?”, the girl interrupted his thoughts. She was kneeling next to the motorcycle, a few drops of dark oil on her cheek.

“Mm?”, he was waiting for her to finish (whatever she was doing) so she could give him the tools he was supposed to deliver somewhere else.

“Mm... you are... *sigh*, your shirt is wet.”

Cloud looked down, the black shirt he was wearing was indeed wet, except the stains were two almost perfect circles over his nipples. It was milk. He was leaking. During work, in front of someone else.

“!”

Cloud blushed and closed his black jacket, pulling the zipper almost all the way up, and the girl laughed.

“Do you want a towel?”, she offered.

“N-no.”, Cloud stuttered. “There´s no need.”

“It's okay. You have a small child, don't you?”

“Mm.”

“So it's normal for that to happen.”, she finished, and stood up, shaking the dust off her hands.

It wasn't normal because Cloud had stopped breastfeeding Hope several months ago. That is, until the night before.

But the night before had been... strange...

It had started when Cloud was working the night shift at Seventh Heaven. Zack was supposed to be taking care of Hope at home, not entering the bar with a baby crying at the top of its lungs in his arms.

But he had, and the baby was Cloud's son, who had to stop everything he was doing (he had almost dropped the tray of drinks on a customer in his rush to get to his son) to help Zack, who had never looked so distressed as he did at that moment.

Fortunately, Tifa had let Cloud leave work early. Zack had handed Hope to his mother, but even that hadn't calmed him down.

Back home, Cloud held Hope in his arms and tried to rock him, while the baby cried (though not as loudly), and Zack tried to tell him what had happened.

Apparently, Zack had given him a bath and put him to bed to read him a bedtime story. But he hadn't even gotten past the title when Hope started crying.

Zack, of course, a little panicked, had tried everything: food, diapers, talcum powder, asking him what was wrong, calling Aerith. But Hope just kept crying, and Zack, not knowing what to do, had to go get Cloud.

Even in Oka-san's lap, being comforted, Hope kept crying. Zack assured Cloud that the book he had tried to read to him (and which, in Zack's mind, had caused the whole situation) was in the bedroom and was for children.

Zack even showed him the book while apologizing, scratching the back of his head, totally regretful and embarrassed.

But the truth was, Cloud recognized the book! It was the book that he and Cloud had bought... in Gongaga... and that Sephiroth had started reading to Hope, but never finished.

Cloud told Zack that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault. Meanwhile, Hope's crying had turned into a low whimper in his mother's arms. Zack ended up leaving at his friend's insistence.

In fact, Cloud just didn't want to have to deal with what he was feeling in front of Zack, having to explain to him why Hope was crying.

The unfinished story. Sephiroth had started it but never finished it. And Hope was crying because of that.

An hour later, he still hadn't completely calmed down. Cloud lay down with him on his chest. Hope rubbed his hands against his chest, pressing his mouth against the fabric of the shirt Cloud was still wearing from work.

Cloud usually ignored it, but something made him give in, pull his shirt up, and let Hope nurse. Hope eventually fell asleep on his chest, and Cloud also fell asleep eventually, without moving him from there.

And now, there was the result of his decision the night before. His shirt was ruined, and he had to endure that embarrassment in front of someone else.

“Oh, I almost forgot.”, the girl smiled. “My grandfather wants to talk to you.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”, she crossed her arms. “You were looking for work, weren't you?”

“Mm.”

She nodded toward the motorcycle he was repairing.

“So? How would you feel about doing this?”

“Repairing motorcycles?”

“Hai!”

“I've never done anything like that.”, Cloud admitted.

“But would you like to learn?”, she asked. “My grandfather wants to find someone to replace him since he isn´t getting younger. And it's too much work for me to do alone. So we're looking for someone to help.”

“And you thought of me?”, Cloud frowned.

It wasn't a tempting prospect. The workshop was Cloud's favourite place to make deliveries. Either the girl or her grandfather were always in the middle of some repair job, so Cloud had to wait a few minutes and could watch them work. Watching them repair motorcycles was Cloud's favorite part.

If only they weren't incredibly expensive and he barely had enough money to pay the rent...

“Why not?”, the girl shrugged. “You're young. And if you're going to teach someone, you might as well teach someone who can learn quickly!”

Cloud studied the blonde girl's expression.

“Is she serious?”

“If you want to, of course.”, she finished with a pretty smile and twirled the screwdriver in her hand. “It's not a job for everyone.”

“I want to.”, said Cloud.

“Great. Then come by later, when Grandpa is here.”

“Mm.”, he nodded. “Thanks—"

“Cidney.”, she added. “My name is Cidney. And you are?”

“Cloud. Cloud Strife.”

Chapter Text

About a year later...

Cloud was cooking dinner. He could hear the sound of the television in the next room, Hope was watching something.

If there was one thing Cloud missed about Nibelheim, it was his mother's cooking. Or having someone other than himself to cook.

But there was no one to do it, and both Cloud and Hope had to eat, so...

“Oka-san.”

Cloud heard his son call out, in the middle of cutting a carrot. He must have seen something on TV that he wanted to show his mother. Cloud chopped the vegetables faster, while he heard Hope call out again.

“Oka-san!”

Cloud put down the knife and wiped his hands on a kitchen towel on the counter. Then he left the kitchen and entered the living room.

“Oka-san.”, Hope called out again, just as Cloud had predicted, Hope was watching TV, sitting on the carpet. He looked over his shoulder to confirm that his mother was there, then looked at the TV again.

“Oto-san is on TV.”

“!”

Cloud's heart skipped a beat and then began to pound violently against his ribcage.

He looked at his son, his eyes wide with shock, then at the television, where Hope was staring.

“!”

It was him. Sephiroth. On the television. His long silver hair swaying in the wind, wearing the black coat that Cloud still had one equal, even though he knew he should have gotten rid of it a long time ago. He still hadn't... managed to bring himself to do it, and the garment was still hidden under his bed.

The camera showed the war hero giving an order to other soldiers who walked away, Masamune in hand. The same elegance of movement that Cloud remembered. He turned his face away for a moment and his eyes almost met the camera, although it was impossible to tell whether Sephiroth knew he was being filmed or not. Whatever the case, Sephiroth seemed completely unperturbed, his cold, almost divine aura standing out from the forest around him.

His green eyes, clouded with Mako, shone, penetrating, mesmerizing.

Cloud hadn't seen him in almost four years and yet he felt the same indomitable attraction he had felt the first time he saw him, as if no time had passed. A whirlwind of feelings invaded his chest and made him lose his breath.

If Hope had called him again, Cloud didn´t heard, didn´t heard anything, not even the sound coming from the television, his swollen blue eyes fixed on the image on the screen.

Cloud found himself swallowing, then he took a deep breath and had to close his eyes for a moment, to stop seeing him, to cut the connection between his eyes and his heart, only then did what they were saying on the television reach his ears.

“The conflict with Wutai continues. In rare images released by Shinra, the hero Sephiroth—"

The mention of the name brought Cloud back to his senses. He wanted to grab the remote and turn it off, but it was too far away, on the ground, near Hope.

In the end, this was about Hope. More than anything Sephiroth could mean to Cloud, it was the father of his child who was appearing on television, and Hope was recognizing him as that!

“Oto-san...”, Hope repeated slowly, his green eyes fixed on the television, if Sephiroth looked directly at the camera, it was as if he were looking directly at his son, perfectly matched green eyes crossing.

Cloud swallowed again.

He was done...

“So, Angeal and I had planned to have dinner somewhere, you know?”, asked Zack, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Nothing fancy, just so the date wouldn't go unnoticed.”

“Mm.”, Cloud was sitting in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. “And? What are you thinking of?”

“There's this apparently fantastic restaurant in Sector 8.”, explained Zack. “And Aerith told me that someone told her there were some fun places in Slum Sector 5 too.”

“And where are you thinking of going?”

"I think we'll end up going to Sector 8.”, said Zack. “It won't be nothing big. Just me, Angeal, a couple of my other friends and... you and Hope, if you want to come.”

“Tomorrow´s night?”

“Mm-hmm. Sorry to tell you at such short notice, it was all arranged in a bit of a rush. Kunsel came back from a mission and suggested we all go out. But I thought I could do something better.”

“I'm sorry, Zack.”, said Cloud. “I can't make it tomorrow.”

“Is it because of the place? I could make up an excuse with them and we could just have dinner somewhere else, even here.”

“No, I can't tomorrow. I promised Tifa I'd do a double shift at the bar.”, Cloud sighed. “I'm late on rent, I need tomorrow's money.”

Cloud had finally managed to move from a one-bedroom “house” to a more decent one. But the rent was much, much higher. And even with the deliveries, the mechanic's work and the night shifts at Seventh Heaven, it was still sometimes a struggle to make ends meet.

“You know you can just ask, right?”, Zack asked, and leaned away from the counter. “Come on, man. Don't be so hard on yourself. Let me help!”

Cloud shook his head negatively.

"No. I don't need help.”, said Cloud. "With what I get tomorrow, it's enough to get by.”

“Still—”

"It's not your responsibility.”, said Cloud. "You don't have to—"

“To worry? How long have we been having this conversation, Cloud? Just let me help you.”, asked Zack, on the edge of begging. "I know you want to do things for yourself, but it's not so bad to ask for help every now and then.”

“Thanks, Zack.”, said Cloud. “But I refuse. I'm not accepting your money.”

“Come on, man. It's only half a dozen gil...”, thought Zack. “Take it...”

But Cloud stood his ground. He'd asked for enough help with Hope. He wasn't going to give in and put even more things on Zack´s plate.

Zack, for his part, had a sudden idea.

“What if I lived here?”, he suddenly asked. “If I live here, can I pay half the rent?”

“… I don't—"

“I can, right?”, interrupted Zack.

“…I think... I think so...”, Cloud muttered. "But that's—"

“Great! So it looks like I'll be paying half the rent.”, said Zack, with a triumphant smile.

A few moments of silence followed, before Zack realized what he had said.

He let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"I mean...mm...”, he murmured. “If you want...”

Cloud thought about the prospect. Things between the two of them had... started to get “weird” some time ago. It all started when Zack and Aerith broke up. Cloud had known her for some time, Zack had introduced them. The girl with brown hair and big green eyes was so excited to meet him and Hope.

“It's so nice to finally meet you! Zack never shuts up about you or Hope!”

From then on, she was one of the people could Cloud trust with his son, and she always went happily to the Slums to pick him up to take him to the park, or to look after him in the Slums of Sector 5 where she lived.

Zack hadn't explained exactly why they broke up, and Cloud hadn't wanted to get involved. The Class First had only said that they wanted different things, and that they decided to break up because they liked each other enough to see that.

At the end of the day, they were still friends.

Cloud, however, felt somewhat bad about the situation. Zack spent his time just switching between being in Soldier and on missions, and being in the Slums, looking after Hope or simply being a good friend to Cloud.

Clearly, Zack was giving up his relationship with Aerith because of the boy. But Cloud didn't want to think that way, that Zack cared about him enough to give up things for him.

“Mm.”, Cloud looked away so he wouldn't have to look at Zack´s Mako-bright eyes. “…I don't mind. If you want...”

And that's how Zack came to live in the Slums of Sector 7. Most days, he still slept at Soldier's, or inns and hotels on missions. But on others? He purposely went to sleep on the small sofa at Cloud's house, even though Cloud insisted that Zack could sleep in Hope's room, while the child would sleep with his mother.

Zack never accepted. By only having to pay half the rent, Cloud was able to stop accepting so many night shifts at Seventh Heaven.

A few months later, as things developed, Zack started sleeping in the bed too...

...

...

...

They weren't dating. Also because, in Zack's mind, Cloud was still waiting for Sephiroth, totally and completely in love with the hero.

And it wasn't like Zack could... Sephiroth had asked him to take care of Cloud and his son. There was still that “he's Sephiroth's” feeling, no matter how much Cloud tried to dispel it.

They were just very good friends, best friends. And Zack only slept over to have an excuse to pay part of the rent.

“It was the first time.”, Zack told Cloud. “The first time I beat him in a simulation.”

It was late, and the two should be sleeping. Instead, Zack and Cloud were talking at the kitchen table, keeping their voices down because Hope had fallen asleep on the living room sofa.

“How does that work?”, Cloud asked.

“There are a few ways. But in this case, they based it on Sephiroth's actual battle data and then recreated it within the simulation. It's super realistic, I'm always waiting for him to make a comment or something.”

“And you beat him?”

“Mm-hmm. First time. Angeal was there too. He said the data was quite old. But still, a win is a win.”

“Congratulations, Zack.”, Cloud murmured.

“Thanks.”, Zack smiled. “It was really hard, but I did it.”

“I imagine it was.”, said Cloud. “He's the greatest Soldier, isn't he? I imagine... that the Soldier´s ambition is to become like him.”

“Mm.”, Zack thought for a moment. “I think that of everything Sephiroth has, what is more enviable is you. More than him being a hero or anything.”

Zack talked too much.

Cloud stared at him, blinking a few times, his eyelids momentarily covering his blue eyes.

And that's when Zack realized what he had said.

“I... uhhh...”

“He doesn't have me.”, Cloud corrected him in a low tone.

“Huh?”

“Sephiroth doesn't have me.”, said Cloud, his eyes shining in the dim light of the kitchen.

“I... Mm.”, muttered Zack. “I know. You're your own person. I'm sorry.”

“Forget it.”, said Cloud. “It's normal that you think that way.”

Cloud looked over his shoulder at the door leading to the living room. The fruit of that “possession” slept, silver hair spread across the sofa, green eyes sealed shut.

“How... how did it happen?”, Zack asked slowly, knowing he probably shouldn't ask that yet.

“What?”

“You guys. In Nibelheim...”, Zack explained.

“There's not much to say.”, said Cloud, with a coldness that Zack didn't expect. “It was one night. It all happens in one night.”

Zack frowned and looked inquiringly at his friend.

“We... got involved one night. In Nibelheim.”

“Are you serious?”, Zack asked. It seemed strange to him, as if a single night wasn't enough to justify the beginning of everything. Or maybe it was Cloud's cold tone, trying at all costs to distance himself from what had happened.

No, saying ‘a single night’ wasn't enough. It didn't cover it, it didn't explain it.

But Cloud would never tell Zack that his first time had been with Sephiroth (and vice versa, even if the boy was unaware of it), or that it had been between the narrow walls of a dark alley in Nibelheim. That Cloud barely remembers having his clothes torn and being completely subdued by Sephiroth, who was taller, stronger, bigger. The proximity to the hero, the euphoria of being so close, the silver hair brushing against his back had made his heart race, beating so hard it hurt.

When Sephiroth looked at him during dinner with the mayor, when their eyes finally met, the hero's eyes shone brighter than ever, his pupils almost completely vertical, like a cat's. Predatory, wild. Cloud thought about running away, but it was a stupid instinct.

And that same instinct of self-preservation had disappeared under Sephiroth, even if every nerve in Cloud screamed that he was going to be devoured.

And he was. The pain and satisfaction of having the hero's body pressed against his made him delirious. Sephiroth was too big, everything about his body was perfectly proportioned, like a statue or a god. But the ache had been painfully human, being penetrated, subjugated, torn apart inside. Sephiroth had touched him, marked him deeper than flesh, invaded his womb, he came inside, deep, hot.

But half of the memories were fragments, Cloud was sure that the euphoria and pain had made him hallucinate. But he remembered thinking that it was too much, and that it was not enough. That the way Sephiroth moved quickly, his large hands squeezing his hips, and burying himself in his belly was too much. But at the same time, he wanted him to be closer, even closer, deeper, closer together. The taste of his own tears, blood, and Sephiroth's saliva in his mouth was not enough. Cloud wanted to kiss him impossibly more, he wanted to feel his tongue, his lips, his teeth clashing with his more.

That way Sephiroth sounded was too much, the grunts, the heavy breathing, and the hoarse moans close to his ear, close to his neck. It made him come against the wall, with a broken cry, with Sephiroth's seed and his own blood running down his thighs.

And then waking up in his own room, wrapped in Sephiroth´s black leather jacket, realizing it hadn't been a dream...

“Mm.”, Cloud nodded. “We were only together for one night.”

“Did you make Hope in one night?” Zack asked, genuinely surprised.

“Mm.”

“It makes sense why he didn't believe it right away…”, Zack muttered, more to himself than to Cloud.

“It does.”, the other man agreed. “I thought he wouldn't believe it. It was... too much of a coincidence.”

“Luck.”, Zack corrected him. “It was just luck, wasn't it?”

Even if he wanted to disagree, the way Zack had said it was too gentle, and Cloud found himself forced to agree.

“You had Hope, didn't you?”, Zack added, leaning back in his chair to get a better look at Cloud.

Zack wondered what would be like if that night had never happened. If Cloud hadn't gotten pregnant, if Zack had returned to Nibelheim to find a Cloud who wasn't expecting a child.

Maybe things would have turned out differently between them...

But honesty? Zack loved the kid, so no, he wouldn't change a thing.

And the price that needed to be paid was worth it…

Cloud and Zack were kissing in the dark. The Soldier was on top of the boy, his knees resting on the bed, his hands on the mattress, around Cloud.

Cloud's arms were around Zack's neck, holding on to him.

“Mn... mm...”

“Nm... slurp...”

Their half-open mouths were locked in a deep kiss, their tongues intertwining with wet noises.

And Zack felt... honestly, he was hard, stupidly, as if he had never done that before, the hot, heavy excitement in his pants, tight inside his boxers.

Cloud wasn't doing much better. He felt the excitement crackling in his stomach, Zack moved his hips and their erections rubbed against each other, both moaning, their lips parting for a moment.

Zack leaned back, Cloud's arms slipped from his neck, and he knelt on the bed. He unbuckled his Soldier uniform belt and threw it on the floor. Then he reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head, discarding it on the bed beside him.

Cloud's blue eyes slid over his toned body, Zack's defined muscles contracting, his chest moving slowly. Zack watched him, his pupils slightly dilated, Mako shining in his eyes.

Cloud was beautiful, lying on the white sheets, under the almost non-existent light coming from an open window, his eyes swollen, his lips slightly parted and wet.

And that was why Zack was hard as a rock and having trouble formulating a train of thought.

“Do you want to... continue...?”, he managed to whisper.

“Don't you?”, Cloud whispered back.

“I want to, of course... I just wanted to be sure.”

Cloud reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it aside.

Zack slid his eyes over Cloud's body, unable to hide the desire in his irises, the fascination: Cloud was still thin, but his work as a mechanic and carrying heavy loads on deliveries had given him some muscle in his arms and abs.

For Zack, it was even more impressive because he had seen him with a huge belly, which looked even bigger on Cloud's small frame. But now his stomach was completely flat, without any marks, as if he had never been pregnant.

Zack slid his hands over Cloud's body, over his chest and stomach and down the sides of his figure. Cloud shuddered, a faint sigh escaped his lips, and Zack felt Cloud's voice go straight to is pants.

He bent over Cloud again to kiss him, their tongues meeting between parted lips.

“Mm... slurp...”

“Slurp... nm...”

Zack pressed his body closer to Cloud's, who in turn spread his legs slightly so that Zack could lie between them. Their erections rubbed together, and this time they both moved to keep feeling it. Cloud felt pleasure run down his spine like electricity, while Zack tried to control his own impulses.

The men rutted against each other, rubbing their erections together. Cloud's breathing faltered and he pulled his face away from Zack's, breaking the kiss, saliva dripping down his chin.

“I'm sorry...”, Zack murmured, referring to his heavy erection pressed against Cloud's. “It's been... a while. And I've never done… this with another man either.”

“It's okay.”, Cloud murmured. “Me too... it's been a while...”

Zack swallowed hard and tried his best not to think that the last person had probably been Sephiroth. That Cloud had been Sephiroth's partner and that Zack was now...

But Cloud pulled Zack back in for a kiss, and the Class First forgot any doubts he might have had...

...

...

…

“Mm...”

“Uh...”

The rest of their clothes were discarded on the floor. Zack's hand was around his and Cloud's dicks, masturbating them together.

One of Cloud's hands was on his shoulder, the other on the bed, his fingers loosely gripping the sheet.

Zack was kneeling between his legs, Cloud's thighs resting on his knees for a better angle.

“Mm...”

“Ah...”

The sensation of their cocks pressed tight together made Zack have to make an extra effort not to finish too soon. Cloud was sensitive, when the tips touched he arched his back and the sigh that escaped his lips made Zack throb like a teenager.

“Mm... ah...”

“Uh... mm...”

Blue eyes slightly half-closed, face slightly red, Cloud was clearly feeling good, which was just one more thing that brought Zack closer to his own peak.

The Class First began to move his hand faster, his fingers tightening around both of their cocks. Cloud pushed his head back slightly, his fingers digging deeper into Zack's shoulder.

Pre-cum dripped down from both of them, allowing Zack to move his hand faster and producing wet noises.

“Mm....ah...”

“Ah...!”

Cloud let out a louder moan, Zack closed his eyes tightly.

“If you keep sounding like that, I'm going to come.”, he thought, not looking at Cloud, whose sight was intensely arousing. Not seeing it was one of the only things he could do to hold back.

Cloud bit his lower lip to muffle his own voice. This reminded Zack that they were not alone: Hope was sleeping soundly in the next room, but that could easily change if they made too much noise.

Cloud's hand slid from the Class First's back to between their legs, joining Zack's hand and following its movements. Zack groaned; it was one thing to use his own hand, but it was another to have Cloud's smaller hand stroking him.

“Zack...?”

Zack opened his eyes to look at Cloud, his eyes slightly unfocused, his blond hair framing his flushed face.

“Mm...?”

“I... I'm going to...”

“Yes... me too...”, said Zack, leaning forward. “Go ahead, Cloud... I want to see you...”

Cloud's hips trembled, he turned his face away so he wouldn't have to look at Zack, embarrassed, his lips opening and closing with soft gasps.

One of Cloud's fingers slid over Zack's glans and he grunted again, pushing his hips further against the other's.

“Mm... ah...”

“Uh... nm...”

He moved his hand one, two, three more times. He felt his abdominal muscles contract. Cloud pushed his head back and came with a muffled moan.

Zack could only think that this was probably one of the sexiest things he had ever seen, the expression on Cloud's face, his voice, before his vision went white and he came too.

“Ha...ah...”

“Hah...”

They lay still for a moment, semen sliding down Zack's hand, down Cloud's fingers.

It was Cloud, however, who reacted first, taking a deep breath and raising his torso slightly. As embarrassed as he was, there was a strange confidence in his blue eyes.

He said nothing, just kissed Zack and spread his thighs wider, moving his hips away from Zack's.

“Do you have... condoms?”

Oh, damn. Yes, of course. Cloud was fertile, they had to use protection.

“I do...”, Zack admitted, somewhat embarrassed. It wasn't as if he had gone out of his way to get them. He only had them because... there wasn't really an explanation.

Cloud had never used one. The two times he had done that...

Cloud pushed those thoughts out of his head.

“In my pants.”, Zack added, the cloth piece having been thrown on the floor. Zack had to get up to retrieve them.

He crouched down and searched the pockets of his cargo pants. Finally, he found them, a strip with two. He stood up again and turned to Cloud.

”!”

His jaw dropped, his lips parted to form an “o.”

Cloud had his hips raised, his knees bent, his feet resting on the bed. One hand was between his legs. Zack couldn't see clearly, but he could imagine what he was doing with his fingers. His hand slid across his chest and pinched one of his nipples.

Zack felt his cock trob, swelling again. He strode back to the bed and climbed onto the mattress.

Cloud turned his face away and blushed violently, one hand leaving his chest, the other leaving the middle his legs. Zack held the second one loosely.

“No, let me see.”, he asked, his tone slightly heavier. “I know you have to do it. Show me.”

Cloud's breathing faltered and the boy buried himself deeper into the bed, his eyes half-closed. Then he pushed his hand back between his thighs.

Zack watched as Cloud pushed one of his fingers inside himself. The Class First couldn't see his entrance, his buttocks covering it, but what Cloud was showing him was already excessively sexual.

As the boy prepared himself, his long, thin fingers disappearing one after the other until they were inside him, Zack leaned over Cloud. He kissed his jaw and neck for a moment, but his main interest was Cloud's chest, which Zack caressed with both hands. He squeezed his chest gently, his fingers pressing into the firm flesh. Even that had recovered after Cloud had stopped breastfeeding.

Zack brushed his thumbs lightly over Cloud's nipples. The tips were already hard, erect against his pale skin.

For a moment, Zack felt bad. Perhaps because he had seen Hope nurse at his chest so many times that it seemed wrong to stimulate it and touch it there during... what they were doing.

But Cloud shuddered, completely sensitive, and a moan escaped his lips. Zack needed no further encouragement to continue.

He touched his chest, caressed his nipples, and rubbed them between his fingers. Cloud pushed his head back and stifled a moan, already had three fingers buried inside himself. Zack's cock was throbbing again, fully erect, condom already put.

Cloud moved his hand away from between his legs and spread them wider. Zack moved between them, his hands coming to the back of his knees, lifting him up and pushing them upward to raise his hips.

Cloud was panting, Zack wasn't much better, hard and excited, his eyes meeting Cloud's.

The next moment, he was entering him, slowly, pushing his hips against Cloud's pelvis. His hole yielded easily after Cloud had touched it with his fingers. The head of Zack's cock entered, and the rest was pushed until it was fully seated inside him.

Zack squeezed Cloud´s legs tighter, closed his eyes, and leaned forward slightly. His lips parted with a heavy sigh.

The pleasure was absurd, Cloud was tight, hot, completely enveloping his manhood in a tight grip.

It was impossible that Cloud had given birth! Good God…

Cloud shuddered beneath Zack, his insides full, the Class First's cock hard and throbbing. But the pleasure was undeniable, causing him to arch his back against the mattress and exhale through his mouth.

The only pleasure Cloud had ever felt in his life had been caused by Sephiroth, by his long, thick manhood, by his hands, mouth, body heat, and hair.

Even from that he seemed to be free now...

Zack didn't move right away, even though all his nerves wanted to force him to thrust his hips and get more of that feeling of pleasure.

Cloud shuddered, moving his hips to feel Zack's cock inside him. His own cock was dripping, pressed against his own stomach.

Zack began to move, slowly, his fingers pressed hard against Cloud's legs. He pushed his hips back, causing his cock to slide out, and then pushed it back in again.

The sound Cloud made went straight to his cock.

“Ah... ah...”

“Uh... Mm...”

They both moaned at the sensation. Even though Zack was having trouble dealing with the pleasure, his movements were sure, precise. Cloud felt them inside him, his hips shaking every time Zack buried himself in his ass.

Zack leaned forward more, His cock burying itself deeper inside Cloud. The boy moaned louder and wrapped his arms around Zack's neck, clinging to him.

It felt good, it was warm. The feeling of Cloud enveloping him, the feeling of Zack's cock thrusting into him.

Cloud bit his lower lip and Zack kissed him to muffle each other's voices.

Hope slept in the next room. Sephiroth's son slept in the next room.

Cloud closed his eyes, small tears forming in the corners of his eyes from pleasure, and tightened his arms around Zack's neck, whose hips were now moving constantly at a faster pace.

Cloud didn't care. Zack made everything seem so easy, even surrendering to that feeling. The Soldier's voice was heavy, laden with desire. Cloud's body, Cloud's voice did things to him that he didn't understand.

Zack and Cloud made love twice that night. They had no more condoms, and Cloud had to work early the next day...

Cloud only had one pregnancy scare since he and Zack started dating.

Contraceptive methods were very expensive in the Slums. Cloud didn't have spare money to buy them, and he wasn't going to take away money that he needed for Hope to buy it. So Cloud had to trust that Zack would bring condoms (which, in fact, he always did. Maybe he had only forgotten to buy them once), and that was that.

But one night the condom broke. Cloud only noticed it later, recovering from orgasm, because of the warm, wet feeling between his legs.

Zack hadn't noticed. He was exhausted from his last mission. He had only showered at Shinra before running to the Slums, his hair still streaked with foam and his blue eyes shining with Mako.

It must have been the adrenaline still running through his veins, because when Cloud suggested that Zack should just go to sleep, the Class First refused and they ended up doing it.

But now that the adrenaline had worn off, Zack seemed genuinely exhausted, so much that that he probably wouldn't have pulled out of Cloud. He would have let himself stay over him, his warm body larger than Cloud's on top of his, hugging him and pressing him against the mattress, and stayed that way, falling asleep right there.

But Cloud had gently pushed him off, as gently as he could, given that Zack was heavier than him.

That seemed to force Zack to react, to get off Cloud, to take off the condom and tie it up, leaving it on the floor. And to lie down next to him on the bed (and not on top of him).

A moment later, when Cloud was almost certain that he had fallen asleep, Zack still had the strength to lift his face, give him a soft kiss on the lips, and only then lie down for good, falling asleep almost immediately.

Cloud just lay there, on his back on the bed, still catching his breath, feeling the warm sensation of semen between his legs.

His common sense screamed at him to get up and clean himself up. React, do something.

But the exhaustion of someone who had worked nine hours straight and taken care of a child after sank him deeper into bed, deep into the world of dreams...

And it was because of his “self” that night that Cloud had missed his lunch break to go buy a pregnancy test (which was also expensive) and was now in the bathroom at home, waiting for the result. Hope was with Aerith. Zack was going to pick him up when he left a Shinra meeting and after his training with Angeal. Cloud wouldn't have another chance alone at home to do that.

Leaning against the door, arms across his chest, head slightly tilted back, eyes closed, he waited for the result.

A person couldn't be twice as “lucky” as Zack said, could they?

Cloud thought about what would happen if it was positive. The first thing that crossed his mind was that they would be two children from two different fathers. If he were still in the Village, it would be a disgrace, he would be frowned upon by everyone.

His mother would defend him, but she herself would have a hard time dealing with the news. It said a lot about what Cloud was doing in the city, and what a boy who dreamed so much of joining Soldier was doing with Shinra's elite soldiers.

But then Cloud remembered what those same people said about him and his son when Hope was born, and that their opinion didn't matter much. Claudia's reaction would probably hurt, but Cloud thought he could handle it.

Joining Soldier was almost a distant dream, an open wound. Cloud was still too concerned with holding on and gravitating around Hope to think about it.

Now, regarding the question itself, did Cloud want another baby?

The boy closed his eyes tighter as a strange memory invaded him. Sephiroth on top of him, green eyes staring at him piercingly, dilated pupils that seemed to see beyond him, his soul, his mind. Then lips close to his ear, the spasm that ran through him, words being deposited directly into the core of his being.

“Give me another child, Cloud..."

At that moment, Cloud would have accepted it. No, he would have wanted it. The possessiveness in Sephiroth's voice, the possibility of conceiving again, of binding them even more closely together.

Of course, it had been another delusional fantasy. Maybe Sephiroth wasn't even serious, maybe he didn't even want it. Maybe Cloud hadn't even believed it, and that was why he was only thinking about it now, at the last moment he should be thinking about it.

Cloud thought about how difficult the pregnancy with Hope had been, and that he wouldn't be able to do half of what he was doing now. Carrying a life, taking care of Hope, everything else.

Cloud wondered if he was ready for that feeling of vulnerability again.

But then again, Zack wasn't Sephiroth.

And, oh... Zack would be absolutely radiant.

Because that was the kind of person Zack was. He only saw the best in people and in situations and never gave up on them. Zack saw the best in Sephiroth and supported him, even in the face of Cloud's lack of hope. Zack saw the best in Cloud, supported and encouraged him, and didn't let him give up.

Cloud was almost convinced that if he wanted to join Soldier, Zack would give up his position to take care of Hope.

Because what he envied about Sephiroth wasn't that he was a hero, but that he had Cloud.

Cloud moved away from the door to see the test results on the bathroom counter, but he didn't even take a second step: a sudden wave of nausea brought him to his knees in front of the toilet. His stomach churned violently and Cloud clung to the porcelain as he threw up, a mixture of his breakfast and gastric juices.

His throat burned and Cloud's eyes stung as they filled with tears. The force of the nausea made him lean forward, spitting out saliva and vomit.

Apparently, even though the idea of having a baby didn't bother him that much, his body actively rejected it.

Tears streamed down his face, from the effort of vomiting, for reasons that the nausea masked.

The words “Give me another child, Cloud...” echoed in his mind, repeating themselves over and over, incessantly.

Sephiroth had changed him. Left something more in his body than Hope, even if Cloud didn't want to think about it, or imagine the extent of the damage it had left on him. It was much more than being marked, than possessiveness. It was much more than a memory.

It was a curse, staining him from inside out, like the Mako glowing brightly in Sephiroth's green eyes, clouding his heart.

Cloud stood up on shaky legs and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, the other reaching for the top of the toilet to flush it.

The sound of running water could be heard as Cloud approached the bathroom counter to see the test results, despite the strange feeling that he already knew it

Negative...

A disaster averted or a choice snatched from his hands?

“Give me another child, Cloud...”

It was too late for that...

“So, how was your day, Hope?”, Zack asked cheerfully, they had just arrived home.

Zack spent some time talking to Aerith, with whom Hope had spent the afternoon, then they returned to the Nanaban-gai Slums.

“Fine.”, Hope muttered simply.

At four years old, Hope was a very shy boy. Except for a small group of people that included Tifa, Marlene (Barret's daughter), Biggs, Wedge, Jessie, and Zack, the boy rarely spoke to anyone.

Well, maybe Sephiroth was like that at the same age, it was impossible to know.

With Cloud, of course, Hope had a completely different attitude. He was loving and behaved like a 4-year-old child. But even Cloud had a tone of voice that he reserved only for his son (and sometimes for other children, even if he denied it), it was the meaning of the bond between mother and son that they had.

Ah, Hope also adored Angeal. Even though he had only seen him two or three times. Not only did the Class First have even more work now, but his relationship with Cloud was... complicated.

Even if he didn't agree, Zack could only respect Cloud's decision not to talk about Sephiroth to his son. But for Angeal? That was wrong (for Zack too, but his closeness to Cloud and how much he loved his son made him see things in a more mitigated way) and as much as Angeal liked Cloud, his duty to Sephiroth spoke louder than his personal feelings.

There was mistrust from both sides. As a result, Zack had had difficulties telling Angeal how their relationship had evolved.

If Angeal didn't like it, he didn't show it. He just asked Zack, “Do you know what you're doing?” and when Zack said yes, he nodded and said congratulations. Zack felt something akin to relief at his friend's approval. He had been the only person he had told. Cloud didn't want attention, and dating a member of Soldier in the Slums was the opposite of that.

“Did anything cool happen? Aerith told me you already know the names of all the flowers in her garden.”

“Mm.”, Hope muttered. “It's not difficult...”

Zack crouched down in front of Hope to be at eye level with the boy.

“Is something wrong?”, he asked with a concerned expression. Hope was shy, but he didn't usually seem so... sad. “You know you can tell me, right?”

Hope pressed his lips together and turned his face away.

“Why?”

“Mm?”

“Why do you care...?”

“Of course I care. What is—”

“You're not Oto-san!”, Hope exploded, angry, his green eyes flashing for a moment. “And you never will be! Even if you're with Oka-san!”

“!”

Zack's eyes widened in shock. Hope clenched his small fists tightly and didn't look at Zack. Hope never raised his voice or threw tantrums; this was the first time Zack had ever seen him so upset.

“Souka…?”, the Class First muttered to himself, then looked at the child again. “Listen, Hope, I know I'm not your Oto-san, and I don't want to be. People aren't replaceable like that. Even if I'm with Oka-san, it doesn't mean I want to take your Oto-san´s place or Oka-san, I love Oka-san, you know? Just like I know you do too.”

Hope's lower lip trembled, he looked like he was about to cry. Zack thought it was strange to see someone so similar to Sephiroth close to tears.

“So, how about we be friends?”, Zack smiled. “That way Oka-san will be happy. What do you think?”

Hope seemed to think about Zack's words. It was impressive how smart he was, to know about the relationship between his mother and Zack. And even more impressive, to remember Sephiroth, whom he had last seen when he was still a baby.

“Mm.”, Hope finally nodded. “Oka-san would like that...”

He lifted his face to Zack, a determined look on his face that made him look extremely cute and similar to Cloud.

“Let's be friends.”

“Yoshi!”, Zack placed his hand on top of his head and rubbed it, ruffling his hair. “How about we go get some ice cream to celebrate?”

Chapter Text

Rufus

I looked up at the clock on the wall.

4:34 p.m.

He is late.

I was sitting on a white sofa in a hotel room in Junon, wearing one of the hotel's white bathrobes. My father insisted that I had to accompany him to an important dinner later tonight.

Spending a few hours in Junon waiting for him wasn't part of my plans, that is, until I received a message from Tseng saying he was sending a Turk as an escort, and I knew exactly what that meant...

Dark Nation, lying at my feet, raised his head toward the door before the knocking could be heard.

I rested my elbow on the back of the sofa and leaned back.

He'll entertain me for a few hours, and then I'll have time to get ready and attend the dinner.

The door opened and the Turk entered, his red ponytail fluttering behind him, his shoes echoing on the marble floor of the hotel room.

“Yo, Boss—"

“You're late, Reno.”, I cut him off dryly, without feeling truly angry. He was going to pay for his mistake with his body, so there was no reason for it to be a problem.

“I'm sorry.”, he said, an almost mocking smile on his lips. Perhaps I had given him too much liberties. “There was an unforeseen event and I could only get here now.”

“Whatever.”, I said. There was a phone on the table next to the sofa and a drinks menu next to it. I picked up the menu and threw it to him. Reno caught it in midair without even looking.

Apparently, I'm feeling generous today.

“What do you want to drink?”, I asked. Dark Nation was still with his head held high, facing Reno, but one look from me was enough for him to lie down at my feet again.

I grabbed the phone, and Reno threw the menu back at me as he took a few steps in my direction.

I raised my hand and caught it without looking, took the phone out of its holder, and held it to my ear.

“Nothing.”, Reno replied simply, and his smile disappeared. “Actually, we have—”

I raised my hand in a sign of silence, and he fell silent. On the other end of the line, someone answered.

"Good afternoon. How can I help you?"

“This is room 777.”, I announced. “I'd like a bottle of xxxxxx.”

“Hai, of course! One member of our staff will deliver it immediately.”

“Thank you.”, I hung up the phone and placed it on the table, along with the menu.

I turned my attention back to Reno.

“Soushite? What do you need to tell me?”, I asked and studied him for a moment with my eyes. The neck and chest that his jacket revealed were unmarked, which was a good sign.

Even though our relationship wasn't one of exclusivity, it was unpleasant when he had marks or hickeys from other men, which wasn't the case.

“I'm going to have a baby.”, he said simply.

Almost instinctively, I looked down at his belly. I had the feeling that it was more swollen, but it could also have been just my imagination now that he had said it.

“Congratulations.”, I muttered dryly, picked up the phone again, dialed room service, and held it to my ear.

“Is that all you're going to say?”

I didn't answer him. The phone rang three times and someone answered.

“This is 777.”, I cut in before the person on the other end of the line could say anything. “I'm cancelling the previous order.”

I placed the phone back on the holder. Then I turned my attention to Reno, who had a sharp look in his eyes.

“I asked if that was all you were going to say?”

“Why, is there something else you want me to say?”, I asked, resting my elbow on the arm of the sofa and my chin on that wrist. “Congratulations is the right thing to say in a situation like this, correct?”

Honestly, I'm more... frustrated that I wasted my time and that I won't get anything out of it.

Reno smiled again. His cheekiness was usually entertaining, but not when I knew I couldn't discipline him afterwards.

“I bet you're just thinking we're not going to fuck anymore.”, he commented sharply and took another step forward.

Dark Nation raised his head again, but I motioned for him to lower it with a simple hand gesture.

The situation might be frustrating, but not enough for him to attack Reno.

“Yes.”, I replied honestly. “I think there are not many ways as straightforward to end our... ‘arrangement’ as getting pregnant by someone else.”

A small smile appeared on my face and I looked away.

“And? Who was it?”, I asked. “A soldier? Or some big shot from a department?”

The idea of Reno under Heidegger was more repulsive than amusing, but perhaps not entirely impossible.

“Or your partner from the Turks...”, I finally suggested. In fact, I had no idea who his other sexual partners were, but judging by Reno´s attitude, there must have been quite a few.

Despite that, he was still extremely convenient. Because he was a Turk, and with all their requirements, I didn't have to worry about diseases. And besides, my father trusted them to take care of me, which made it even easier.

“It's yours.”, Reno said simply and smiled. “You knock me up, the kid is yours.”

I frowned and felt a bitter taste in my mouth.

“That's impossible.”, I replied calmly and took another look at Reno's stomach, which I could see better now that he was closer. If he hadn't gained weight, then he really was pregnant, however discreet it was be.

“Huh, you rarely wanted to use a condom.”

“You were the one who liked me to finish inside.”, I retorted, and that conversation would have been exciting if the subject wasn´t so unpleasant. “Besides, you used other contraceptive methods. Weren't you supposed to be a professional?”

“As a Turk, not your lover.”, he replied. “And if you wanted to fuck for four days straight, I wasn't going to take medication just because of your desires.”

“That doesn't change anything.”, I said dryly. “That baby isn't mine. Don't accuse me if you don't know who the father is.”

“I know it's you.”, he accused, no longer smiling. “You're the only person I've been with.”

“And you really think I'm going to believe that?”, I asked, now trying to stay calm.

“Believe whatever you want. The child is yours.”

“That's impossible.”, I argued. “And even if it were mine and not of your other lovers', why are you telling me? You don't need to inform anyone if you want to have an abortion.”

He let out an unpleasant laugh.

“Do you think if I could have an abortion, I would come here and ask you?”, he asked. “You must be joking.”

“And you can’t?”, I frowned slightly.

“No. We wouldn't be having this conversation if I could. It's too late. I found out late, and there's nothing to do now.”

“So what do you want, Reno?”, I asked.

“The child is yours.”, he repeated, and his insistence was beginning to annoy me. “Who the hell was I supposed to tell?”

“To the father, not me.”, I got up from the sofa, and Dark Nation raised his head. “I have nothing to do with your problem.”

“You do.”, he retorted. “Whether you want it or not, you're the father.”

“No, I'm not.”, I spat. “You spread your legs for whoever you want, and now you want to blame me? That's ridiculous.”

“We had unprotected sex four months ago, that's how long I am—”

“And you expect me to believe you haven't slept with anyone else?”

“No, I haven't. I do more than entertain guys like you.”, he was clearly angry, his eyes sharp, staring at me, his lips pressed tightly together.

“Then I'm sorry this affects your career as a Turk.”, I retorted bitterly. “And you should have thought twice if you thought you could fool me with this and secure your life with a bastard.”

He must be kidding me. Sleeping together means nothing. Reno is a mere distraction, and his allegations alone are enough to ruin my plans...

“I don't want a bastard.”, he spat. “It's your damn son, you're partly responsible for this too.”

“He's not my son, he has nothing to do with me.”, I insisted. “And you should be careful with your accusations.”

I walked towards the window.

If my father suspects anything, everything will be completely ruined! Having a bastard would burn my chances with the President...

“You must be—”

“You should leave.”, I warned coldly, turning my back on him. “And I don't want to hear another word about this.”

I heard the sound of Dark Nation's paws and he sat down beside me.

“Don't you dare claim that your bastard is mine.”, I continued, my voice still tinged with cold anger. “The idea that I would ever impregnate a common whore is ridiculous.”

Silence. I thought Reno was going to say something nasty that I would bless him with pretending I hadn't heard, but he remained silent for a moment longer.

“Souka...?”, he finally said, slowly, in a lower tone. “I'm sorry for bothering you, boss.”

He turned his back, I heard the sound of his shoes echoing once more on the marble, and then the sound of the door opening.

“I had forgotten that the president's son was a brat.”

I still had time to see the red hair disappear, then the door slammed shut with a loud bang.

What a pathetic lie...

…

…

…

“What about the issue with Reno?”, I asked Tseng. If my question surprised him, he didn't show it.

“What's the problem with Reno?”, he asked back, and I leaned back in my chair.

“You know what.”

“I don't usually get involve with my subordinates’ personal affairs.”, he muttered simply.

“It's no longer a personal matter when my name is dragged into it.”

“I... apologize for Reno's behavior.”, he said and leaned forward slightly for a moment, in a reflex of a bow.

“And then?”

“Unfortunately, an apology is all I can offer, Rufus-sama.”

“Well, apologies are insufficient.”, I said. “I want the matter resolved.”

“I'm sure there's nothing I can do about this matter, Vice President.”

“You can.”, I said. “You can give the order to the Turk. What's more, it was you who gave Reno the order to ‘entertain’ me. It's up to you to resolve the problem, Tseng.”

“There is no order I can give to my subordinate, Rufus-sama.”, he said in the same tone.

“You can force him to abort.”, I replied, staring at Tseng, who did not return my gaze.

"I cannot do that. Reno is too far along in his pregnancy. Any termination procedure will have excessive physical and psychological consequences."

“I thought you Turks always carried out your orders at all costs.”, I muttered, with some impatience. Tseng was my last chance to solve this problem once and for all and make sure that no rumors reached my father's ears.

“We don't take unnecessary risks if we can avoid them.”, Tseng explained.

“Souka...”, I said, completely indifferent to his demands. “In that case, I don't want to hear another word about it.”

“Certainly.”, he said. “Reno will not be a problem for you, Rufus-sama. You can be sure of that.”

I sighed, because that was the best I was going to get.

If he wants to keep the bastard, so be it.

He's not mine, and it won't make any difference to my plans...

Rude

Reno leaned back in his seat and sighed, one hand moving to scratch an area on his swollen belly.

I leaned forward slightly over the steering wheel and looked out the window. The church stood to my left, not far away.

“Aibo.”, Reno handed me the bag of chips he was eating, and I sat up straight. “Want some?”

“No, thanks.”, I waved my hand in thanks. Reno just shrugged and continued eating.

His seat was slightly reclined so he was in a more lying position, and Reno also had his feet resting on the dashboard.

It wasn't exactly comfortable, the angle of his legs and back, but Reno was distracted by the food and hadn't complained yet.

He rubbed his belly again with the hand he wasn't using to eat, the package resting on the curve of his stomach.

“Aibo?”

“Mm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Mm *chews* yes, why?”

“Hm, nothing.”

Aibo just rubbed another area on his belly, moved a little (as much as possible within the confined space of the car) to relieve the discomfort in his hips, and continued eating chips from the bag.

Tseng had assigned me the surveillance mission that morning.

I was supposed to go alone and Reno was supposed to stay in the office. But Aibo overheard and insisted on coming with me, since he had nothing better to do. Tseng could have stopped him, but he just looked at me with an expression that said, “Saying no is your problem”, and let us go.

And that's how I ended up in a car, watching the church with Aibo by my side. I would have preferred him to stay home. Since that was impossible, I would have preferred him to stay at Shinra.

But for Aibo, that wasn't good enough either...

Supposedly, he due two weeks later, Aibo would already have passed the 9-month mark by then. So Aibo was by my side, extremely pregnant, in the middle of the Slums, far from any hospital.

Things... could get complicated...

The birth itself worried me, even with the confidence I had in Reno. Aibo was more concerned about the fact that he was bored out of his mind. He had been forced to stop training altogether (he should have stopped doing it sooner, but who was going to enforce that on Reno?), so he had less to entertain himself with.

Aibo should have been busy preparing things for the birth and for after the baby was born, but neither he nor I had focused on that yet.

It was almost as if we were waiting for an order from Tseng to do something, for him to assign us a mission, no matter how personal the nature of the matter was.

“Nee, Aibo?”, Reno called, turning his face to look out the window. “Shouldn't she have left by now?”

“Mm?”

“Shouldn't Aerith have left the church by now?”, he asked. “Isn't it around this time every day?”

I checked the time on the car's display.

“Mm. You're right.”, I agreed and crossed my arms. “I wonder if something happened...”

Reno pushed the car door open. With an agility almost impossible for someone with a belly that size, he swung his legs off the dashboard and got out of the car.

“Aibo?”

“I'll go check on her.”, he said, pushing his hair back behind his shoulder with one hand.

“But—”

“You wait here.”, he cut me off abruptly and closed the car door.

I sighed and followed Aibo closely with my eyes. If anything happened, even he couldn't expect to fight in that condition.

I cleared my throat.

He probably expects that.

Reno walked towards the church. The way he walked had also changed, slower, his legs further apart to accommodate the weight between his hips.

He stopped suddenly and put one hand on his lower back, stretching for a moment. At that point, I was about to get out of the car to go to him, when Reno turned in my direction, raised his hand in a “thumbs up”, and smiled at me.

I sighed and stayed in the car.

Coincidentally, Aerith came out of the church at that moment. Aibo stopped walking, and we both focused on her.

It wasn't exactly a secret mission, but still...

Aerith didn't seem the least bit surprised to see my Aibo. And she seemed to have left the church just to meet him, because she walked straight up to Reno with a friendly expression on her face.

I frowned. I was too far away to hear what they were saying, with Aibo's back to me and Aerith's face at an angle where I couldn't see her eyes.

I didn't dwell on it for much longer. The phone rang, Tseng's name appeared on the screen, and I answered, looking away from Aibo's now empty seat. Crumbs and pieces of cold chips littered the black leather.

“Chief.”

“How's the mission going?”

“Fine.”, I brushed the crumbs off the seat with my hand.

“And Reno?”

“Fine too.”, I replied. “He's with Aerith right now.”

“With Aerith?”

“Mm. However, I don't know what—”

“Oi!”, the voice accompanied by knocks on the car window made me look up to see Aerith almost glued to my window.

I held the phone closer to my face.

“I'm sorry. Now is not the best time.”

“Aerith is there, I suppose?”

“Correct.”

“I'll call you back later.”

“Hai. Excuse me, boss.”

I hung up the phone and opened the car door. Aerith gently moved back, and I got out.

“I'm sorry, I know you're working.”, Aerith said.

“Ie. What's the matter, Aerith?”

She pointed to my partner, still standing where he had stopped to talk to Aerith. He had one hand on his back and the other supporting his belly.

“I just wanted to say that I'm sure Reno is in labor.”, she tilted her head slightly, her eyebrows knitted together in concern. “I can take care of myself today. You sure you shouldn't be at the hospital?”

My heart skipped a beat at Aerith's words.

It wasn't supposed to happen yet!

“Aibo!”

I should have noticed that something was wrong with my partner. Aibo was strangely quiet and hadn't nap throughout the day as he usually did.

His behavior in the morning had also been different from how Reno usually acted. Of course, it was always difficult to wake him up and get him out of bed. But on this particular morning, I had the very strange feeling that Aibo was really in pain, or that he was going to start crying just for leaving the bed. He was lying on his side, wrapped in the sheets, and didn't even lift his head when I called him, not even after the first or second time.

I only insisted because Aibo would have been furious if I left without him.

And still, I almost gave up (not that the idea of leaving him alone at home like that made me feel any better). Aibo finally got up and seemed to be in a better mood after eating.

“I'm fine.”, said Aibo, I was already by his side. “It's nothing.”

I saw the surface of his stomach tremble under his white shirt.

“Aerith said—”

“This is nothing.”, he clenched his teeth and looked at me, clearly annoyed.

“Aibo.”, I murmured calmly. “If you're in labor, we have to go back to Plate.”

“I'm not.”, he replied and gave me a sharp look.

“Are you having contractions?”, it was a question mixed with a statement.

“For months. That doesn't mean anything.”

I sighed and grabbed the phone again.

“I'm going to call Tseng and tell him we're going back.”

“What?! No—”

“You should go, Reno.”, Aerith returned to join us. “Honestly, what are you thinking? Walking around here instead of being at home resting?”

Reno looked at Aerith, then at me. His eyes screamed, “Are you going to take her side and not mine?”, but honestly, I was more concerned about him giving birth in the middle of the Slums than having to deal with Aibo's temperamental outburst.

“Thanks, Aerith,”, I said simply.

“You're welcome. Do you need any help?”

“No.”, replied Aibo. I put my arm around his back and gently pulled him toward the car.

Aibo didn't argue.

Aerith followed close behind. I adjusted Aibo's seat before helping him in. I closed the door and walked around the car to the driver's seat.

“Don't worry.”, she murmured before I could get into my seat.

“He'll be fine, I'm sure...”

...

...

…

Tseng recommended a private clinic in Midgar, in Sector 8. In terms of privacy and confidentiality, it was the best option available. Aibo had the few appointments made there, some of which I had gone with him.

Aibo was silent the whole way, phone in hand, playing with it between his fingers. I had already called Tseng to explain the situation, so there shouldn't be anyone he wanted to call.

Unless...

“You should call him if you want to.”, I murmured, without taking my eyes off the road.

“Hmph, you think I want to?”, he spat. “You think I want to talk to the person who's putting me through this?”

“...no.”, I replied. Aibo just put both hands on his belly and said nothing else for the rest of the trip.

When we arrived at the clinic, I explained what was going on at the reception desk.

“We have that name on file.”, said the lady at the reception desk, referring to the fake name we had given. “But it's only in two weeks from now.”

“My partner is in labor right now.”, I said.

“Mm. I'll let the medical team know. It's not the same one that was planned, is there a problem?”

I looked over my shoulder at Aibo, one step behind me.

He shook his head and an impatient sound escaped his lips.

“No, not a problem.”, I told the receptionist.

“We usually only allow the father in the room.”, she explained. “Is that you?”

“Ah, no, I'm not—”

“It's him.”, Aibo cut me off. “Can we get this over with?”

“Hai, of course.”

Shortly after, we were taken to a private room. There was a sofa, a hospital bed, a closet, and some medical equipment.

“I'll wait outside while you change.”, I said, handing Reno a medical gown to wear.

“You don't need to.”, he replied. “Can you help me with the damn buttons?”

“Mm.”

I walked over to Aibo, he took off his black jacket and threw it on the sofa. He started unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt, which he wore almost open in that area. Aibo once told me that his chest was super sensitive, and that even the light fabric of his shirt was sometimes uncomfortable. I unbuttoned the last ones, which covered his stomach and which Aibo had to stretch his arms to undo.

My partner took off his shirt and let it fall to the floor.

“Do you want help with the rest?”

Aibo didn't answer, but I took that as a yes.

His pants no longer closed at the front, but the jacket usually hid that.

I crouched on the floor, Aibo put his hand on my shoulder and lifted one of his legs. I took off one of his shoes and his sock. My partner pulled his pants down, and I took off the one on that leg. I did the same for the other leg, shoes, socks, pants.

I stood up again, Aibo pulled down his underwear, letting it fall to the floor. Then he put on the doctor's gown.

“How do you feel, Aibo?”, I asked, adjusting my glasses before picking up the clothes and placing them on the sofa.

“Honestly? Annoyed. This has barely started and I'm already fed up.”

“Mm.”

I went back to my partner and put my hand on his shoulder.

“Don't worry, Aibo.”, I said. “No matter what happens, I'll be with you. I won't leave your side, Aibo.”

He stared at me, his lips parting slightly. Reno suddenly blinked his eyes to hold back tears and turned his face away so he wouldn't have to look at me.

“Hormones?”, I asked.

“Hormones.”, he replied and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

...

…

...

Eventually, a nurse came into the room. She asked Aibo a few questions about the contractions, their regularity, intensity, and a few other things.

Aibo's contractions were still too far apart; it was the earliest stage of labor.

There was nothing we could do but wait. Aibo already seemed to regret that I had convinced him to come so early.

He slept to pass the time, and I took the opportunity to call Tseng and report on the situation. He was on a mission in another area, but he would try to return to Midgar when he could.

Between Aibo's naps, we had lunch. He was starving, even with the contractions.

A nurse came again, but there wasn't much progress. Aibo's contractions weren't constant, with 20 minutes between two and 3 hours between the next ones. Aibo started to get impatient, so we did some things the nurse suggested to speed up progress, which was basically Aibo walking back and forth. They brought him a yoga ball, but Aibo just looked me in the eye and asked if I really thought he was going to use it.

He didn't use it.

The rest of the afternoon passed, then the evening. I noticed how Aibo was starting to get more uncomfortable, the contractions becoming more regular, attacking his stomach and back.

Around midnight, I told Aibo we should try to sleep. He was getting impatient again: the discomfort, the fact that we hadn't actually brought any food to entertain him, the yoga ball that Aibo now saw as a bad joke.

Sleep would be.

Aibo lay down on the bed, I pulled a chair next to it and sat down.

“I wish I could do something, Aibo.”, I admitted.

“Leave it. It's not that bad. Uh!”

Aibo gritted his teeth as a new contraction passed through him, one hand clenching the fabric of the hospital gown. The pain disappeared from his face as quickly as it had appeared. My partner took a deep breath and leaned back.

“It's okay. Let's just sleep and see if this passes faster.”, he murmured and closed his eyes, rubbing his belly with one hand. “Ts, this kid really wants to destroy me.”

I didn't answer, but I couldn't help looking at my partner with some pity, a feeling I had spent his entire pregnancy trying to avoid.

But now, seeing Aibo having to go through this...

He had discarded the phone with his clothes. The vice president would only know if Tseng told him, which was likely to happen. He was still, for all intents and purposes, our boss. If he wanted to know, he would find out.

Aibo still moved a few times. Trying to find a more comfortable position, to relieve the pressure on his back and hips. He finally fell asleep a few minutes later, which was a relief.

Aibo was going to need all his strength…

...

…

...

I don't know how long I slept, maybe two or three hours. I woke up suddenly to Aibo's voice.

I opened my eyes abruptly and lifted my face from my chest. Aibo was sitting on the bed, both hands resting on his stomach, his body slightly bent forward.

“Aibo?!”, I exclaimed, moving closer to him and placing my hand on his arm.

His breathing faltered, and Aibo bit his lower lip, trying to endure the pain of the contraction.

He took a deep breath and lifted his face to look at me.

“...I'm fine.”, he murmured.

“How are you feeling?”, I asked, getting up from my chair, placing my hand on his back, and rubbing it in circular motions.

“Ts, now it hurts.”, he said, lifting his face to look at me. “Help me stand?”

He didn't even need to ask at this point.

After so long without progress, it seemed that the active phase had finally begun.

I helped Aibo up. He took a deep breath and let go of my arm to hold onto the chair.

“I'll call a nurse.”

“Yes... do that...”

I left the room quickly and went to find a nurse. He accompanied me back to the room. Aibo was walking around the room, seeming to be able to handle it more or less, his steps quite steady considering the discomfort he must have been in.

“I'm going to have to ask you to lie down, please.”, said the nurse.

Aibo stopped and looked him straight in the eye, a sharp look.

“No fucking way.”

“Aibo—”

“I need to check your dilation.”, said the nurse, clearly not the first outburst of that nature he had heard.

“Ts...”, an expression of displeasure molded his face, but Aibo walked over to the bed and lay down, as the nurse had asked him to do.

I cleared my throat and looked away to give Aibo a shard of privacy.

I heard a wet sound, then pain in Aibo's voice.

“Shit, that hurts.”

“I'm sorry. You are about 5 centimeters. Halfway there.”

Reno snorted, clearly halfway wasn't good enough.

The nurse said goodbye and left, Aibo pushed the strand of hair behind his back and sat up in bed.

“What do you want to do now, Aibo?”, I asked slowly.

“I want this child out of me.”, he snapped.

I thought about his request for a moment.

“I'm sorry, Aibo, I can't do that.”

He smiled, a mixture of scorn and humor, a side smile spreading across his face.

“Yes, I know.”, he got up from the bed with strange agility. Then he had to grab his stomach when another contraction hit him.

I held Aibo by the shoulders, he gritted his teeth and endured the pain.

When it passed, he lifted his face, both hands still clutching his swollen stomach. His eyes stared at me with something... vulnerable.

But it quickly disappeared, and Aibo was angry again.

“Why the hell did I fuck that guy?”, he spat.

But there was no answer. I didn't have one.

I thought about asking Aibo why, but decided to continue to keep my silence on that matter.

Aibo paced around the room for almost two hours. Honestly, it was the most active I had seen him since he was seven months along, when the pregnancy had become difficult for Aibo, with his overly pronounced belly slowing him down and wearing him out.

He had to stop to endure the pain of contractions with his teeth clenched, leaning forward slightly to ease the discomfort. Once or twice, he groaned in pain.

“The doctors talked about anesthesia.”, I suggested when the pain in his voice disturbed me.

“I'm a Turk, I don't need that...”, he said in reply, gritting his teeth in pain.

I always followed Aibo closely in case he needed help. At the end of the last half hour, he let me put my arm around his waist so he could lean some of his weight on me.

Reno was panting heavily at the end, from the physical exertion, the pain, and the mental strain. Sweat dripped from his brow, and he had to stop for longer breaks when he had another contraction.

“I hope that fucker dies for this.”, he cursed after a strong contraction. He grabbed his stomach, but his other hand came to my chest to hold me by my jacket. “Fuck, Rude...”

“How are you feeling?”, I asked, and regretted it, because of course Aibo was in pain.

“Honestly? It hurts like a bitch...”

“Do you want me to call the nurse?”, I asked, because it was the only thing I could do.

“Mm...”

He closed his eyes for a moment, and I took Aibo to the bed. He rested his hands on it, bent forward, his hair falling over his shoulder, and slowly rocked his hips to relieve the pressure.

I strode towards the door.

“Aibo?”

I turned to him immediately, my partner was still in the same position, he hadn't even lifted his face.

“Yes?”

“Don't be long.”

And that's what I did. The first nurse I came across, an older woman, came with me immediately. Back in the room, she asked Aibo to lie down again to check his dilation. Once again, I chose not to look.

“Six centimeters.”, she murmured, and Aibo's expression was as if he had been punched.

“What—”

“Is this your first child? The first time usually takes longer.”, the question was directed at me.

“We... ah...”, I couldn't ruin the cover. “Yes, it's our first.”

“Congratulations.”

Aibo groaned as she walked away.

“Is there anything my... hm... husband can do to speed up the process?”

“Unfortunately, the only things he can do is move around and wait. He can also opt for anesthesia, if he prefers.”

“I don't prefer.”, Aibo blurted out. The lady smiled with sympathy at me before leaving.

I went back to the bed and sat down in the chair. This time, Aibo lay down, his back against the bed, his legs spread apart on the mattress, both hands on his belly. He was still panting.

I used a cloth to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“You should try to rest a little, Aibo.”

“Six centimeters, Rude...”, he muttered, and took a deep breath.

“It won't be long now, Aibo.”, I tried to comfort him, but my partner smiled unpleasantly, seeing right through my lie.

“It will.”, he said through clenched teeth, another contraction. “Shit...”

Almost half an hour passed with Aibo managing to stay still. He writhed when the contractions came. My partner was holding on, but he had been in pain for so many, and it was starting to wear him down. I wiped the sweat from his face, swallowing hard, unable to do anything.

Aibo turned his head to the other side and clenched his hands against the headboard, gripping it tightly. I could see his whole body contracting, the muscles in his legs and back tightening until the contraction passed, then relaxing again. He just endured, his eyes closing between contractions, trying to recover as much as he could when the pain subsided.

At the one-hour mark, he broke down.

“Aibo.”

I felt his hand on my arm, an appeal. His hair was disheveled, sticking to his sweat-stained face, Aibo's eyes were swollen, his lips wet with saliva from clenching his teeth.

“I'm tired.”

“I know.”

“No. I'm tired of this. I can't take it anymore.”, he said.

“Aibo—”

“Please. I want this kid out of me. Now.”

Aibo's voice sounded so angry, and at the same time, so tired.

It occurred to me that maybe it would be different if Aibo wanted that baby, if it hadn't just been the result of a mistake. I didn't know what my partner planned to do after the baby was born. A Turk didn't have the life to raise a child, and Aibo wasn't going to give up his job. Maybe he would put it up for adoption, but that...

I didn't want to think about it.

And from another perspective, the child was still a Shinra, even if that was a big part of the problem. But maybe Tseng... hum...

“Call the nurse. I want him out now.”, he said, and even in pain, he could speak. It was almost as if it wasn't the pain and exhaustion, as if he was just fed up and bored with the slow progress.

Maybe that was all it was...

Aibo, as a Turk, had high professional ethics. But having a child wasn't a mission, it wasn't work.

...maybe thinking like that made him feel better.

“The nurse?”, I repeated, frowning slightly, not understanding.

“Yes. Argh...”, Reno squeezed my arm harder. The pain made him arch his back and clench his teeth.

I placed my hand on his and let him squeeze my fingers. “They can... cut me open. Mn... take it out of my belly.”

“Aibo...”

I hesitated, because it didn't seem like a good idea, or safe.

“Please.”, he lifted his face to look at me. “Do this for me, Aibo.”

And how could I refuse?

I got up from my chair and walked to the door, without taking my eyes off my partner.

“I'll be right back, Aibo.”

He leaned his face back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

“Thank you...”

...

...

…

It was already close to dawn.

I waited patiently outside while the operation took place, my fists clenched tightly, perhaps more impatient than I wanted to be.

I trusted my partner blindly, but I found myself wondering what would happen if something went wrong.

Of course, I would take care of Aibo's son. But it would be difficult to work for someone I would undoubtedly blame for this.

Time dragged on. I thought I should have stayed in the room with Aibo, even if he hadn't asked me to. Even if I felt I was invading a space I shouldn't.

Tseng ended up calling me to ask about the status of the situation. I explained that Aibo was in the middle of a C-section. He seemed slightly exasperated, but not surprised. Tseng informed me that he was near Midgar and would be at the hospital as soon as he could.

The delivery still took an hour. An hour of waiting for the door to the room to finally open and for the medical team to start coming out.

“Doctor.”, I interrupted the doctors' path before he could address me. “My Aibo and the baby?”

“They're both fine.”, the doctor smiled at me. “Congratulations, you're the father of a boy. The mother is also fine. Everything went smoothly. You can go in now.”

“Thank you very much, Sensei.”, I thanked him and pushed open the door to the room.

The first thing I noticed was the smell in the air, blood and disinfectant. I strode across the room. The open window illuminated the room with the cold light of the early hours of the day.

“Aibo...”

My partner was in bed. There was some blood on the sheets, which should have been changed already. He was covered with a sheet up to his waist, his torso bandaged.

His red hair was scattered on the bed. Aibo opened his eyes when he saw me. Then his gaze shifted to the baby on his chest, already wrapped in a white cloth.

“Congratulations, Aibo.”, I murmured, and I had to lift my glasses to wipe away some tears from my eyes as I took in the powerful image of Aibo, tired after giving birth, and his son lying with him.

“You're crying... Rude...?”, he murmured in a muffled but somewhat amused tone.

“No.”, I replied, adjusting my glasses again and pulling up a chair to sit on the edge of the bed.

“How are you feeling, Aibo?”

“Like I've been cut in half.”, he replied. “Which isn't a lie.”

“And the baby?”

He looked away at his son before looking back at me.

“Do you want to hold him?”

“May I?”

“Mm.”

I stood up so he wouldn't have to move too much. Aibo handed me the white bundle in his arms.

I smiled when I saw the strands of red hair on top of his head, the same shade as my partner's.

And then, he opened his eyes.

They were a deep blue. Bluer than Aibo's.

I pulled my sunglasses down with one hand to get a better look at his eyes.

“!”

I felt myself swallow hard. Aibo sat up in bed, his eyes fixed on me.

I slowly turned my face toward him to look at him.

It was as if Aibo was waiting for my reaction to confirm something. The moment he saw it, he ran his hand over his face and pushed his head back, a trembling sigh escaping his lips.

They weren't the vice president's eyes.

“Shit...”

...

...

…

Narrator

Tseng arrived shortly after. If he had noticed the same thing as his subordinates, he had the grace not to mention it.

He confirmed Reno's condition: pale, tired, having to recover from a C-section before returning to work. Tseng would have preferred Reno to have avoided it, but he knew the man he worked with well enough to have always considered that possibility.

Reno seemed nervous, which was almost unheard of for the Turk. But it was normal for his defences to be down after everything he had been through.

Rude, on the other hand, had difficulty handing the infant over to Tseng. Only his discipline and respect forced him to do so, and he seemed much calmer when the child returned to his arms. He had also been strangely quiet. Tseng had expected to see him more cheerful, even in the presence of his leader, but he had kept to himself.

Rude and Reno exchanged glances, one of the great proofs that they were not just partners in name.

Even without words, they both thought they knew the real motive of Tseng being there.

To be the eyes of the vice president. A Turk always fulfilled his mission, no matter how cruel it was.

“Congratulations, Reno.”

“Thanks, boss...”, murmured his subordinate.

“Take the opportunity to rest. You'll need it to fully recover.”

“Mm.”

Tseng walked to the door and opened it. He could almost hear Rude adjusting his glasses and sighing. But before he did, he turned one last time to his subordinates.

“Have you given him a name yet, Reno?”

The two Turks exchanged a more obvious glance. It was Rude who spoke first.

“We—”, he quickly corrected himself. “Aibo—”

Reno interrupted him.

“His name is—”

...

...

…

“I apologize for not answering, Rufus-sama.”, said Tseng, the phone held between his shoulder and ear.

“That doesn't matter.”, came the calm voice of the Shinra heir on the other end of the line. “Did you do what I asked?”

Tseng wiped the weapon with the small black cloth, both hands too busy to hold the phone.

“Of course, Vice President. Everything is taken care of.”

“Good.”, Tseng could hear Rufus' lips forming a smug smile. “Let me know when he returns.”

“Of course.” Tseng put the cloth in his coat pocket and held the phone with one hand.

“Oh. And if my father becomes suspicious, blame it on the Slums.”

“The Slums?”, Tseng repeated, looking down at the bloodied body at his feet.

“Hai. Isn't that where one of the Avalanche cells is supposedly based? If he suspects the Turk´s presence at the dinner, you're there because of the terrorists.”

“Right.”, Tseng agreed, even nodding as if the president's son were there. The lifeless eyes of the corpse stared at him.

“And one more thing.”

“Hai, Rufus-sama?”

“Don't fail.”

Not that it needed to be said. A Turk always fulfilled his mission. Still, that was the last thing that was said before the call ended. Tseng promptly put away his phone.

Huh, if only he knew...

Tseng crouched down next to the body and searched the pocket of his coat for his ID, confirming for the second time what he already knew.

It had been a mistake that could have proved fatal if it hadn't been for that fatality. If Tseng hadn't recognized the man's face when he passed him in the clinic.

It was Tseng who had recommended the place, so it was up to him to solve the problem.

And what a problem it would be. That a doctor who had worked at Shinra and was an old friend of the president was in the delivery room. That he had also seen that child and those deep blue eyes.

Tseng stood up again.

It was no longer a problem.

Rufus might think him blindly loyal, like his own dog, Dark Nation. It was that blindness that made a good Turk.

But Tseng knew, just as Rude and Reno must already know.

More than Shinra, a Turk was loyal to the Turks.

Tseng looked one last time at the body, killed with a precise shot to the head, the only person who could reveal that information.

Tseng would not bitte his Master's hand...

He turned his back and walked away, taking the phone out of his pocket again and making a call.

“Cissnei? I need you at...”

...but he also wouldn't continue to feed from it...

Rude

“You look like a mess”, Cissnei said to Aibo, sitting with her arms crossed in the chair next to his hospital bed.

I sighed, because I was pretty sure that wasn't what she was supposed to say.

“I didn't miss you either.”, Aibo retorted. “Why did you come? Shouldn't someone be at the office?”

“Because I'm on my day off.”, she replied with a sigh. “And they don't pay me enough to cover both of your absences.”

“I'm sorry, Cissnei,” I murmured. “And thank you for your help.”

She shook her head.

“Don't thank me.”, she said with a small smile to my partner and the baby in his arms. “Personally, I think you should take all the time you need until you're ready to come back.”

“What we get paid doesn't allow for that.”, I said, clearing my throat.

“Well, I can help you buy diapers if you want.”, Cissnei offered.

“Thanks.”, I said before Aibo could respond to her provocation.

“So? Tseng didn't tell me on the phone. What did you name him?”, Cissnei asked, leaning forward to get a better look at my partner's son.

“He didn't tell you?”

“No.”

Aibo glanced at me before lowering his eyes to his baby and answering.

“Ren. His name is Ren.”

Rufus

I made my way to the Turks' office. I was supposed to meet him somewhere else, but there was a lot of commotion at Shinra with the return of most of the army from Wutai. My father's strategy was apparently to slowly break down the enemy forces by sending the best of the Soldier into a long battle of endurance.

The big difference between the two sides was that our soldiers received constant supplies and support, since nothing had changed in Midgar or in the other provinces. Wutai, on the other hand, had to deal with the war on its own territory and focus all its efforts on combat, ignoring everything else.

Shinra would force them to give up, destroying their spirit in the process and forging a false alliance in the end.

It seemed to me an unnecessary strategy, especially if the goal was a treaty. It would be best to conquer through military force, killing all the people of Wutai who did not want to bend the knee. Letting Wutai live would mean long-term problems: their broken spirit would be rejuvenated and they would cause a war again.

But totally broken into submission and annexed as yet another Shinra territory? Further proof of the Company's power.

All this, of course, if the war hadn’t such an incalculable value to Shinra...

I pushed the door open and entered. I glanced briefly around the room: the newer member, a blonde woman, Elena, immediately looked up from the work she was doing, her eyes widening and her posture becoming even straighter.

“Oi, Reno!”, she said, calling his attention in a whispered shout. I followed her eyes to him, sitting at a desk across the room.

I hadn't seen him in about two years. I knew, of course, that he had gone ahead and had the baby. But if didn´t known, I would never have guessed he had.

“Hm?”, Reno looked up at Elena, then looked at me.

He looked exactly the same as the last time we had seen each other. Physically the same, the same uniform with the shirt open, red hair, light eyes looking at me. Nothing about Reno indicated that he was a mother now, and I myself had a hard time believing it.

That is, of course, if the cause of our “disagreement” wasn't sitting on his lap.

“Vice President...”, the young woman rose from her seat, but for some reason, she didn't continue.

My gaze met Reno's for a moment, but then I turned it to the child on his lap.

I didn't know enough about children to guess the age, but I knew it couldn't be less than two. The short hair was red, and the kid was pushing a toy car back and forth on his desk.

“Tseng is in his office.”, Reno said dryly, his eyes sharp in my direction.

Hmph, it seems he hasn't forgotten our last encounter when I called him a bitch and he called me a brat.

“Hai! Tseng-san is—”

“I thought your office wasn't a place for children.”, I said, even though I had a feeling they weren't even allowed in the Shinra Building, except on certain floors.

“There was no one to leave him with.”, he replied through clenched teeth. From the way his eyes burned, I was sure it had been a real punishment for him not to give me a crooked answer.

A small smile appeared on my lips.

“Maybe you should have—”

“Kaa-san!”

The child suddenly turned to Reno and almost shoved the toy in his face, had he not held the boy's hand to stop him.

“Shi— Ren!”, Reno exclaimed. Elena sighed audibly, and I frowned. The boy laughed and turned his face toward me.

I studied him for a moment, because it was difficult not to when the child was looking directly at me.

Blue eyes...

I narrowed my eyes at the boy. His eyes were… exactly like my father's...

No, it's not possible. That would mean that—

I moved forward and entered Tseng's office. Talking to him would be useless. It had been naive of me to forget how absurdly loyal they were to each other.

“Vice President—”

“I need your office so I can talk to Reno alone.”, I informed him. Tseng kept the same composed expression, even though my behavior must have caught him off guard.

Unless, of course, he had been expecting this...

“Has something happened?”, he asked, rising from his seat at the desk.

“Ie.”, I shook my head. “There's just one thing I need to know.”

“Of course. Excuse me.”

He left his own office, closing the door behind him.

No, it's a mistake on my part. It has to be.

Thinking about who had made a child on my former affair partner was not something that entertained me since we had cut off our “extra-professional” relationship. My guess was that it had been someone minimally important within the Company, although I would bet on the higher-ups, the department directors, Reeve, Palmer, Heidegger. The idea of Hojo was... unpleasant, and Scarlett was biologically impossible.

But my own father? If Reno just wanted decent sex, why go after—out of ambition? For the Turks?

The idea is detestable, but Reno seems capable of it. After all, he did get me to sleep with him.

However, if I really had to bet my money, it would be on his teammate. I knew Reno was sleeping with him and with me at the same time. Not that I cared what he did or with whom, as long as he always came back to eat out of my hand.

The office door opened, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Did you call for me?”, Reno asked as he entered the room. He wasn't smiling, and his eyes showed some impatience.

“Yes. I wanted to ask you something.”, I said. He stared at me, waiting.

Then a small smile appeared on his face and he parted his lips.

“Are you going to ask about—”

“Did you sleep with my father?”, I shot, my eyebrow slightly raised.

Reno narrowed his eyes further.

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm sure you understood my question perfectly well, Reno.”

“Your question doesn't make sense. Besides, it's none of your business, Vice President.”

Of course that was going to be his answer, especially when he knew it was the only one I didn't want to hear.

“So you admit it?”

“Admit what?”, he asked, but then wrinkled his nose. “Hmph, why do you want to know?”

“Answer me, Reno.”, I ordered, knowing that the only thing keeping him from speaking his mind at that moment was that I was the Vice President and he was a Turk.

“No, I didn't fuck your father.”, he said. “Where the hell did you get that idea? Especially with the—”

He seemed to finally understand where I was going with this, because he looked at me more directly, a strange doubt in his eyes.

I slid one of my hands across Tseng's dark-colored desk. There was a schedule on it, showing the week we were in, with the days broken down into hours. Each square had a letter: R, Ru, E, C, T, and the letters were repeated across all of them.

Reno sighed, shaking his head.

“You don't understand genetics, is that it?”, he asked. I glanced at him, and he struggled not to falter. No matter how angry Reno was, there was always that sense of professionalism that kept him from offending me as openly as he wanted to. But he did offend me when, as like now, he spoke too much.

“Your son has the same color eyes as my father.”, I said coldly.

“Ts, and your idea is that I messed with your father?”, he spat, and a scornful smile appeared on his face. "Souka... maybe I should. He knows how to treat his children better, no matter how much they hate him. And the president's bastards should fare better than the vice president's.”

“You think so? He would have thrown you into the slums already.”, I retorted. “And I should have done the same for your insinuations.”

“Since when can you do that?”

“If it wasn’t for me, the Turks would have been finished long ago. You owe me your loyalty for that.”

“Is that all you have to say? I have work to do.”

“I wonder how much work you can get done with your son here.”

“That...”, he gritted his teeth. “It was just this once. It won't happen again.”

I question the veracity of that. And the truth is, it will be problematic if anyone sees him...

“I hope it won’t.”, I finished, and gestured toward the door. “You can leave. There's nothing more for us to talk about.”

“Yes. You're right.”, and he left without another word, closing the door behind him.

I sighed, no longer wanting to have a meeting with Tseng. It's better to discuss this later, when we can talk somewhere else.

I left the room.

“Oi, what are you—”

Elena was shouting/whispering again, but she fell silent when she saw me.

“Reno...”, Tseng was standing next to his subordinate's desk.

“Sorry, boss,” he muttered, holding his son between his arm and hip.

Elena opened her lips again, but Tseng gestured for her to be quiet.

Moments later, Reno walked through the door and left the office. His red hair would have been the last thing I saw if his son hadn't turned his face toward me, his blue eyes brimming with tears.

I learned days later that Reno had resigned. Two surprises in such a short time, a Turk having a child, a Turk abandoning his duties.

Reno took my words very seriously. Now he no longer belonged to me in any way, there was nothing left connecting us.

And that...

It was strangely annoying.

The End

Chapter Text

“Nee, Cloud?”

The boy looked up from the table he was cleaning. Tifa, who had been cleaning the bar until then, was looking at him.

“Mm?”

“I need to ask you a favor.”

Cloud put the cloth down on the table and turned to face his friend.

She clasped her hands together, intertwining her fingers.

“Actually... Aerith asked me. But I thought you might be able to help more than I can.”

Oh, yes. Tifa had gone to visit Aerith the day before. Ever since Zack had brought her to the Slums one night years ago, the two girls had automatically hit it off, and now Tifa even went to see her friend during her days off. The two girls' plan for the next going out was to go shopping at the plate and take Cloud with them. The boy did not share the same excitement about the plan.

Tifa's day off also meant that Cloud had been at Seventh Heaven from late afternoon until almost dawn. The worst part wasn't the hours, it was that Barret was diligently helping his girlfriend so she wouldn't have to worry about the establishment on her day off.

But even with Jessie and Wedge at the bar and Cloud and Barret serving, it had been a night that left something to be desired for the customers (and Barret had only yelled at one and kicked another group out, a small victory compared to other times).

Even though things had improved, and Barret had even apologized to him, the relationship between the two was... complex. Barret hated Zack for being a Soldier, and Barret hated everything and everyone associated with Shinra. And Cloud wasn't exactly happy that he and Tifa were now a couple...

“What is it?”, asked Cloud.

“Aerith asked me. But it's to help a friend... an acquaintance of mine named Rude.”

The name meant nothing to Cloud.

“He has a friend... they live up there, on the Plate. This friend has a son. A two-year-old boy..."

Cloud crossed his arms, still trying to understand where Tifa was hesitantly trying to get to.

“And... well... this friend wants to move with his son to the Slums.”

“Why would someone from up there want to come down here?”, asked Cloud. After two years, he had become familiar enough with the rules of the Slums and Midgar to know how unusual that was.

“He... must have his reasons.”, said Tifa, which meant she hadn't asked and the other person hadn't said anything.

Not that Cloud could say much. He had also come to the Slums in Midgar because anywhere else on the plate above was impossible (and Angeal much had insisted that he move there).

But it was too close to the Sun, too close to Sephiroth.

Cloud was there because he had something to hide. And apparently, that friend of a friend did too...

“Anyway, I offered him a job here, at least until he finds something else. We were also going to need someone else, since Jessie is going to stay with her parents for a while.”

“Mm. And what do you need me to do?”

“Well... I thought...”, the girl began. “...since you also came to the Slums with a baby... maybe you could help him?”

“Me?”, asked Cloud.

“Yes! I don't know him, but you better than anyone should know how complicated it can be to move to a new place with a baby. They're even staying in your old room... so...”

“Isn't the father around?”

“Mm. Not as far as I know.”, Tifa murmured.

And Cloud realized why Tifa was asking him this. Cloud did have experience being a single mother...

Cloud pondered about what Tifa was asking him to do. Taking care of someone else that wasn’t his own son and helping a person who seemed to be in a situation so similar to his own when he arrived in Midgar was... strange...?

When had Cloud's life stopped being such a mess and gained enough stability for it to be him helping someone else?

“Please...?”, Tifa added. “It would be just the first days. You know... explaining things to him, giving him a hand.”

Tifa's eyes widened, a pleading expression on her face.

When Cloud didn't answer right away, she tilted her face slightly, her red eyes disappearing for a moment beneath her dark eyelashes.

“You can't...?”, she murmured. “I promised Rude I'd help. But it's okay. You don't have to—”

“Ie.”

“Mm?”

Cloud sighed.

“All right. I'll help him.”

Tifa's face lit up.

“Really?”, she exclaimed, but decided she wouldn't pressure Cloud to accept again, lest he change his mind. “Thanks, Cloud. I knew I could count on you!”

Cloud turned his face away so that Tifa wouldn't see the proud smile that appeared on his face.

That Tifa could trust him was always... not that Cloud was going to show it!

“It's no big deal.”, he muttered, to cover it up. “The workshop will be closed for a few days anyway.”

“Souka?”

"Mm. They're going to visit some relatives in Rocket Town.”

Cloud had offered to keep the workshop running during their absence. Cidney explained that they had already been thinking about closing for a while to rest (especially so her grandfather could rest), and that this also included Cloud, who hadn't had any days off since he started working there.

They were going to continue paying him, so Cloud wasn't that bothered.

“I was going to work more here anyway. Helping him during my shifts shouldn't be a problem.”

“Thank you so much, Cloud. Really.”, said Tifa, her smile genuine. “They arrive tomorrow, all right? In the afternoon, I think. But I'll be here too, so you don't have to worry.”

Cloud hoped so.

What were the chances of that becoming a real problem?

…

...

...

It was afternoon when the newcomers arrived in the Slums. Cloud saw them by chance on his way to Seventh Heaven. Not that he had actually stopped to look, but he had passed by in time to see two men dressed in black entering the house where he once lived.

Cloud just kept walking to Seventh Heaven. He had left early to help Tifa prepare things for the opening that night. Neither Biggs, Wedge, nor Jessie would be able to help that day. Barret was with Marlene, Zack was on a mission, and Hope was with Aerith in the Sector 5 Slums.

That night it would just be Tifa, Cloud, and the new man.

The wooden doors of the bar opened and closed. Cloud was behind the bar finishing cleaning glasses, and Tifa, who was sweeping, stopped immediately to greet the new arrival.

“Rude.”

“Tifa.”

Cloud looked up from what he was doing and wiped his wet hands on a cloth.

Without a shadow of a doubt, it was the two men he had seen near his old room.

One of them was dressed in a suit and wearing sunglasses, even though they were indoors, and it was him that Tifa was talking to.

Next to him, the other man wasn't wearing a suit, but he was also dressed in black from head to toe, his red hair contrasting with the solid color.

But what Cloud had really noticed first was the small child holding the red-haired man's hand.

How old was he? Two years old? Maybe less? He had red hair and blue eyes, impossibly blue, his small hand wrapped in the hand of the one who should be his mother.

For a moment, Cloud wondered if Hope had also seemed so small to others the first time he had brought him to Seventh Heaven, Cloud no longer remembered why he brought him. Had he also seemed so small and young, almost fragile? His hand disappearing in Cloud's?

“This is my Aibo, Reno, whom I told you about.”

“Oh, nice to meet you.”

"Nice to meet you, miss.”

Cloud studied him again. He was definitely older than he himself had been when he came to Midgar. And if he was nervous, he didn't show it in the slightest.

But Cloud thought it might just be that he “appeared” to be calm when he wasn't.

And he could understand that, in a way.

Tifa knelt down in front of the child.

"And who is this boy?”

The boy looked at Tifa with big blue eyes, then looked not at Reno, but at Rude.

“Ren.”, Reno replied. “His name is Ren.”

“Hello, Ren.”, Tifa said in a gentle tone. He looked at Tifa for a few moments with his beautiful blue eyes, but then looked back at the man with sunglasses.

“Aibo, you should go, shouldn't you?”, Reno asked.

“Mm, you're right.”, he crouched down to pick Ren up. “Tifa, thank you very much.”

“You're welcome.”

“Will you be okay?”, he asked Reno.

Reno had noticed Cloud from behind the counter.

“Mm? Oh, yes, yes, I'll be. You'd better go.”

His light eyes met Cloud's, and for a moment the boy felt that he was... studying him?

But then Reno looked away toward Rude.

“Mm. We'll talk later.”

“Yes.”

A final nod in Tifa's direction, and the man in the black suit with the baby in his arms left Seventh Heaven.

“Welcome, Reno. This is Seventh Heaven.”, Tifa said in a friendly tone, then pointed to her chest. “I'm the barista.”

She looked back and pointed with a delicate gesture to her childhood friend.

“This is Cloud. He also works here from time to time.”

“Hello.”

“Yo.”

“Have you ever worked in a bar before?”, asked Tifa.

“I can't say I have.”, he admitted. “But it doesn't look difficult. I'm a quick learner.”

His tone was confident, perhaps a little more than that...

“Good.”, Tifa smiled and turned to Cloud. “I'm going to check with Wedge about the appetizers for tonight. Can you help Reno with what he has to do, please?”

Well, Cloud had agreed to help Tifa, and apparently, she wasn't going to accept anything less than that.

“Mm.”

“Thanks.”

She left, leaving the two alone.

Cloud looked at Reno with his usual closed expression, the other's eyes strangely sharp.

“So—”

“So—”

They both started but fell silent, Reno gestured toward Cloud.

“You first.”

Cloud lowered his eyes again to what he was doing behind the counter.

“First time in the Slums?”, he asked, and he could almost hear Tifa's voice in his head asking him to be nice.

That kind of work really didn't suit him...

“Pretty much.”, Reno replied in a light tone, without really answering. “You have a son, don't you?”

“Yes.”

“Mm...”

And that was the only exchange between the two. Then Cloud proceeded to explain to Reno what he had to do. Tifa arrived in the meantime, and then the customers started arriving too.

Reno was right in what he said: he really did learn quickly, and he worked quickly too. He served the tables faster than Cloud, Jessie, or Tifa (which, in Tifa's case, was really impressive).

Barret didn't like him. He didn't say so openly, but his unfriendly expression spoke for himself. He had also seen the man in the black suit and was convinced that Reno had worked for Shinra. Maybe he still did and was on some kind of undercover mission, because there was no other explanation for one of the Company's damn suits deciding to go and live in the Slums. The whole situation smelled fishy to him, and he couldn't trust the guy, period.

But Barret still didn't trust Zack after all this time. Even though he didn't know he was a Soldier, Barret was sure he worked for Shinra in some way, and that made him keep his distance.

It was better now, Cloud had to admit. Ever since Zack had once been left to look after Hope and Marlene on his own (Zack didn't even like to remember that. He wasn't the most skilled with children, and two at once?!). Because of that, and how much Marlene had enjoyed herself, Barret had gained something very close to sympathy to the Class First.

Cloud had nothing against Reno, especially since the two barely spoke, except for a few words exchanged during work. Reno wasn't unpleasant.

Perhaps his light eyes were too sharp at times, or the shadow of the smile he sometimes had on his lips too smug.

But that had nothing to do with Cloud. Even Tifa's request for him to help seemed ridiculous now.

Reno definitely didn't seem to need help. He moved with a confidence that made it hard to believe he had just moved there.

Cloud remembered how nervous and anxious he had felt, and how difficult it was to hold his head up high with the weight on his shoulders. Reno, however, seemed to keep his head up at all times, and Cloud found it hard to believe that he had anything to hide.

One or two people in the bar had asked Cloud if he knew if Reno had someone. Cloud had nothing to do with it, and neither did the people asking. He only knew that his son's father and he shouldn't be together (according to what Tifa had said), not that that meant anything. It was the same with Cloud and Zack, things between them had started to get serious some time ago.

Cloud didn’t see his son again either, which made sense, since a bar wasn't the place for a child. Maybe that's why he always worked the late shifts, so he could be with his son during the day.

Cloud was essentially doing the same thing: except for a few deliveries in the early morning or at morning itself, he spent the day with Hope. He would take him to the park in Sector 5 and to the Leaf House.

It was an orphanage in that Sector, and even though Hope didn't like to socialize much with other children (except Marlene) and that they were older, he loved attending the classes the teacher gave there. Biggs would take him there almost every day and wouldn't accept what Cloud wanted to pay him for doing so.

Cloud didn't understand where that love for studying and for learning came from (it definitely wasn't from him; Cloud was and had always been too pragmatic).

Hope was very intelligent for his age and could already read some simpler things and loved books and learning. Cloud sometimes wondered if it came from Sephiroth... but he preferred not to think about it.

Aerith's mother loved Hope, and they almost always ended up having lunch there.

The point is that Cloud had only seen Reno's son once. Reno had also only seen Hope once. And it was been... strange...

Marlene and Hope were drawing at a table in Seventh Heaven. Cloud wasn't working that night, but he was helping Tifa because Barret had some problem and couldn't, which was why Marlene was there too.

Reno had entered the bar at that moment, earlier than he should have, for some reason. Maybe Tifa had also asked him to help, Cloud didn't know.

The red-haired man had crossed the bar and only stopped when he saw the children at the table, or rather, when Hope looked at him.

Marlene raised her face and looked at the newcomer, then at Tifa.

“Who is he?”

“This is the young man I told you about, Marlene. He's been working here with us.”

“Hello.”, Reno muttered simply.

“Hmm.”

And Marlene returned to her drawing without another word. Hope was also looking at Reno. The man didn't even seem to stop until he saw the kid, big bright green eyes staring at him.

Green eyes on a pale face, framed by silver hair.

Hope hadn't said anything, he had just gone back to what he was painting, but Reno had smiled, even if only for a moment.

Cloud hadn't liked his expression, but before he could say anything, Reno was already talking to Tifa about something, as if that momentary exchange of glances had never happened.

So Cloud decided it was all in his head and not to think about it again, Reno hadn't said anything to him either.

At least, not until later that night...

“Nee...”

The night was over, with the last customers having left a short while ago, Tifa had also left.

The two stayed behind. Reno had invited him to have a drink with him, and Cloud, for some reason, had accepted. Hope must have been asleep by then, Zack was away on a mission somewhere, he wasn't really in a hurry to leave, maybe that's why he had agreed to work that late shift.

They were sitting side by side on the bar stools.

Cloud looked at Reno without moving his head when he called him.

“How long have you been here?”, Reno asked.

“In the Slums?”

“Mm.”

Cloud thought for a moment before answering.

“It's been three years.”

“Were you from another Sector before?”

“Ie. From Nibelheim.”

"Mm... I can't say I know it...”

“It's a small village, that's normal.”, said Cloud, and brought his glass to his mouth for another sip.

“Mmm... Souka...”

Reno also drank from his own glass. When he put it back on the table, a moment later, he spoke again.

“Was that your son?”

This time Cloud turned his face to look at him. Reno continued to stare ahead, almost disinterested. “The one that was here this afternoon?”

“Yes.”, replied Cloud. What did he have to hide? Reno had already seen Hope and would end up seeing them together anyway.

"Hmph, he doesn´t look much like you, does he?”

Cloud didn't answer and took another sip. It wasn't as if he himself, Hope's mother, didn't know what Hope looked like from the moment he entered the world.

But if at first it had been a joy, that he was so much like the hero, like the person Cloud adored so much and with whom he was—

It had also been a relief. That Hope was undeniably Sephiroth's, that the “impossible” he had claimed was possible.

Now? It was almost a curse. That Hope couldn't escape it. Or hide it.

“Is he from Nibelheim too?”, Reno continued, also bringing his glass to his lips.

"Mm.”

“You must have been really young when you had him, then.”, Reno commented. “I think I was young when I had Ren, too. But not compared to you. How old were you?”

“…14.”, Cloud replied. It was impossible to forget...

Reno smiled, still not looking at Cloud.

“I didn't know the great hero Sephiroth liked them so young...”

“!”

The comment was like a punch in the stomach for Cloud. He immediately looked at Reno, his eyes widening, his lips parting in shock.

The name always made him shudder, but the way Reno had said it was like electricity running through his body.

Cloud sealed his lips. Trying to hide it, to regain his composure. He turned his face away. He couldn't have heard right. It had to be a damn joke. It wasn't possible that—

“It's his son, isn't it?”, Reno said. “And are you the mother, or are you just covering for someone else?”

Cloud's lips parted again, but this time he spoke.

“He's my son...”

The prospect was so ridiculous that it took Cloud by surprise again. But would it be so strange for someone else to think so? Hope had few of Cloud's features, perhaps only his eyes (which were beginning to resemble Sephiroth's more and more) and little else...

Cloud just turned his face away and brought his glass to his lips.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”, he said dryly.

Reno smiled.

“Souka?”, the Turk swayed his glass to make the liquid inside swirl. “I think that would work for anyone who's never seen him. But he's pretty hard to forget...”

Piercing green eyes in a handsome face, surrounded by silver hair. They said he was considerate of his subordinates, even though the Turks never subordinated themselves to Soldier. 

In the end, he was by no means the worst Soldier to work with; he was Shinra's elite, the great hero.

So... what were his son and possible lover doing there in the Slums...?

Cloud didn't answer. It had to be a joke. That guy couldn't possibly know Sephiroth!

...but if he did, of course he would see at a glance that Hope was his son. Cloud had brought a child into the world who looked just like the hero, and now Reno was talking about these similarities as if Cloud hadn't done everything he could to hide them from the world.

His shoulders were tense, his muscles tightly contracted beneath his dark clothes. Cloud managed to keep his expression neutral, even though he wanted to grit his teeth and curse someone.

“So, what are you doing here?”, Reno asked, voicing his biggest question. Cloud just leaned forward and took a deep sip before answering.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Hmph, I'm starting to think our motives aren't so different.”, Reno muttered. It wasn't a happy comment, and Cloud looked at him sideways.

Reno drank the rest of his glass and poured himself another from the bottle next to him.

“So... how did it go? Two or three nights and that was it? You never heard from him again?”

Cloud looked at Reno with a frown, which earned him a somewhat mocking smile.

“You know... it's not that strange. Soldiers being deployed or on missions elsewhere and fathering children with someone else´s woman and then disappearing.

Cloud wanted to correct Reno on almost everything he had said: he wasn't “someone else's woman”, and Sephiroth hadn't disappeared. Well... not like that...

“I told you I have nothing to do with him.”, Cloud repeated and drank again.

Reno studied Cloud for a moment, his sharp eyes looking at the man beside him, before speaking again.

“He doesn't know?”

Another sideways glance from Cloud, his brow furrowed. Reno asked questions that felt like punches to Cloud's stomach as if they were talking about trivialities, making small talk.

“That's none of your business.”, he finally replied and drank what was left in his glass. Reno poured him another.

“Mm. Did you say Nibelheim...?”, Reno muttered, more to himself than to Cloud. “Souka... I remember taking him there by helicopter once. We were supposed to go somewhere else, but Sephiroth came in and said we were going to Nibelheim. I was going to refuse, but my Aibo said it wasn't a good idea.”

Reno drank again before continuing.

“He jumped out of the helicopter when we were in the middle of nowhere, supposedly 15 kilometres from a Village. And in mid-air. Huh, my Aibo was right to tell me not to get involved and just do what he said. Now I see why he was in such a hurry...”

Cloud turned his face away.

It was difficult at times not to antagonize Sephiroth. The anxiety, the paranoia, the fear, the absence.

Cloud tried hard not to think about it. The most worrying thing was Hope, not his own feelings.

Hope didn't talk about his father, but something told Cloud that it wasn't because he had forgotten and didn't care. Hope was waiting patiently, something almost impossible for a child of that age. But he was so sure that he could wait.

But when Cloud thought about other things, about the past. The truth was that Sephiroth had stayed. He hadn't run away, he hadn't disappeared overnight.

Cloud remembered Zack mentioning it: “Man, you should have seen it. He threw himself out of the helicopter. In motion. From the sky! I tried to talk him out of it, but he just jumped! Of course I went after him, but you understand. I was sure Sephiroth had gone mad!”

...It was normal that Cloud only remembered that now. Zack had told him a few hours after giving birth, and Cloud was clearly awake to hear it, but too out of it to remember anything.

He had a son, Sephiroth had kissed him, everything was fine...

A small smile formed on his lips.

"Mm. I think he really did that...”

A confession, however subtle.

“Are you tired of lying?”

“I didn't say anything.”

Reno didn't seem to really care; seeing Hope had been a confession enough for him. Even though he was away, he was still a Turk, and a professional would easily know that if he looked at the child.

“So he didn't leave you?”

“Not exactly.”

“Lucky you.”, the words tasted like poison. He drank half the content of his glass in one gulp to get rid of the taste in his mouth.

Cloud wiped that silly smile off his face and drank too. All the drink he had, tilting his head back. The alcohol burned his throat, but he ignored it. He set the glass down on the table, the glass echoing loudly as it cried against the wooden counter, a sigh escaping his lips.

He was no longer a lovesick kid. Those thoughts, those feelings no longer had a place there.

“Did yours leave?”, he asked, to shift the focus of the conversation. “Your son's father, I mean?”

“Hmph.”, Reno let out a nasal laugh laden with scorn. “He was never a father, to begin with.”

Reno also drank the rest of his glass and poured himself and Cloud another.

“He said the child wasn't his and never cared.”, said Reno. “It's not like I needed him anyway. Fucking bastard.”

“That must have been hard.”, murmured Cloud, and swirled his own glass.

Sephiroth had rejected him once, and it had hurt. A lot.

“Nah, not really.”, said Reno, pushing the hair that was starting to fall over his shoulder behind his back. “We just had sex. And there was work, too. We had nothing serious.”

Cloud thought about telling him that all that had connected him to Sephiroth before he got pregnant had been one night in an alley in Nibelheim. It was even less concrete than “nothing serious.”

“The pregnancy was just annoying.”, he continued. “Not being able to fight and work properly, having a huge belly in the way of everything.”

Cloud could relate to that. Having to stop leaving the house almost entirely when it became obvious. Basic things becoming strangely difficult to do. Giving up his dream of joining Soldier. No longer being able to climb the stairs to the water tank.

His belly seemed even bigger and heavier on his small frame. His hips ached as they expanded to accommodate his pregnant stomach.

It had been bad, but Cloud didn't think it was that bad. It hadn't been unbearable, even though he was young and didn't know what he was doing half the time. His mother had been an indispensable help; he couldn't have done it without her. And Zack trying to cheer him up, or Tifa who, even though she was nervous at first, was always there to keep him company.

Sephiroth was... a different story.

His eyes never left him, even though he kept a certain distance. Cloud kept his distance too, but for totally different reasons.

If Sephiroth had revealed his feelings the last time they saw each other, that he regretted the “how”, the way he had taken Cloud, but not the result, the consequences, Hope, Cloud, in turn, was almost tormented at that time by an obsession with being better, with being enough.

He didn't want to disappoint him, he didn't want Sephiroth to think he was unfit, incapable of carrying his child, of giving him a child. And so he tried never to complain, or ask for help, or—

Thinking about it now, Cloud felt like a complete idiot. Sephiroth didn't care about those things in the slightest, and Cloud should have cared about other things.

He was young and naive; it was the only possible explanation, however insufficient it might be.

“Postpartum was bullshit.”, said Reno, after taking a deep sip from his glass. “I gained a lot of weight. Didn't you?”

"Ie. I had nausea for almost the entire pregnancy. I hardly had any appetite.”

“Hmph, you were lucky. I was always hungry, and my Aibo always made and bought whatever I wanted to eat.”

Cloud drank from his glass again, and Reno continued talking. Maybe he just wanted to vent and complain, not expecting Cloud to comment on anything.

“I had a month to get back to work after that.”, he continued and clenched his teeth. “I'm sure it was that bastard who set that, because even Tseng didn't seem happy about it.”

“Your... boss?”

“Both of them are, but Tseng isn't an idiot.”

Reno could almost hear the vice president in his head, because Tseng would clearly have argued about only giving him a month to recover.

“Isn't that enough? I thought you Turks were professionals at everything. A month should be more than adequate."

It was just a childish revenge. Rude had complained, Cissnei had protested too, but Reno had no choice but to take a month to recover from pregnancy and childbirth.

Having to train to lose all that weight and recover from a C-section. It's the same as fighting while thinking your organs are going to fall out of your stomach.

Reno remembered it well because it had been completely fucked up. He barely slept at night because Ren cried too much, and if it weren't for Rude helping him (each slept 4/5 and then switched), it would have been even worse.

Waking up early to train, despite the pain in his hips, his stitched belly, his chest, which was too heavy and full of milk, because even though he refused to breastfeed (he wouldn't be able to go back to work with a baby attached to his breast 24 hours a day), his body hadn't understood the message. So, in addition to the bandages he had around his belly to prevent his uterus, which was still returning to its normal size, from falling and to help in that process, he also had to tighten them around his chest to alleviate the wet feeling of the milk.

Cloud had a hard time imagining that. He had recovered incredibly quickly, had not torn, had not been in pain. His belly had still been sensitive for a day or two, but even that discomfort had disappeared easily.

A month to recover? It had taken Cloud that long just to get used to everything: breastfeeding, changing, cleaning, and caring for Hope. To understand that he had a baby, his and Sephiroth's, and that things would never be the same again.

But the first month (and two, and three, and Cloud sometimes still had trouble not thinking that way) had been spent only thinking about Hope, looking at him, feeling him, touching him, his hands, his face, and holding his small body in his arms. Even Sephiroth, with his work and missions, had never come to Nibelheim as often as he did then, sometimes even days in a row.

But Reno hadn't had that.

“My delivery was natural.”, Cloud simply murmured.

Reno frowned at him.

“Even at 14?”

“Mm. In Nibelheim there aren't many other ways to do it.”

“Hmph, I'm sure Sephiroth could have just brought you to Midgar. He must have had enough money to pay for any doctor he wanted.”

“Sephiroth didn't even want me near Midgar.”, said Cloud, who was now slightly drunk, same as Reno.

Maybe if Sephiroth hadn't thought that way, things would have been different. Maybe he would be on the Plate, not under it. And maybe if everyone knew, Cloud wouldn't have had to spend so many sleepless nights holding Hope and wishing no one would find out. Maybe he would still be waiting for the hero, instead having moved on.

Maybe Cloud wouldn't curse him like that.

“Didn't he want anyone to know you had a son?”, asked the Turk, a scornful smile appearing on his face. “It's not that strange. It would tarnish the Soldier's reputation if it were known that he had a bastard.”

“Hope isn't a bastard.”, Cloud raised his voice, his eyes flashing green for a mere second, menacingly.

If Reno weren't a Turk, he might have found that scary. But the only thing he could think of was that there was more to Cloud than met the eye...

“Mm.”, Reno just turned his face away and continued drinking. “But it seems to me that you just ignored what he wanted.”

The 14-year-old Cloud would have been stunned by that prospect. But now? It was just another one of those things he couldn't let hurt anymore.

“He's been gone for four years...”, Cloud muttered. Had it really been four years since that night? Time passed so quickly...

“I couldn't just wait.”, he added.

“No, you couldn't.”, Reno agreed and looked inside his now empty glass. “It's easy to make them. But the rest? Guys like these only like themselves and no one else.”

Perhaps, deep down, that was what scared Cloud the most. No matter how much he tried to deny it and think things like “He's not coming back” or “This was all meaningless to him.”, it didn't change the fact that, inside, Cloud was sure that Sephiroth loved Hope. And one day, he would reclaim him because of that, and Cloud would hate Sephiroth for that very same reason.

...Four years hadn't changed anything...

Zack was very late. Like, really late. Cloud had asked him for something simple: “My shift ends at 7, can you come meet me and bring Hope?”, and Zack had said yes, because it was an easy and simple request.

Except that Hope was reading a book and refused to go with Zack until he finished (did he even know how to read yet?!). He didn't throw a tantrum or cry. He just said he wouldn't go without finishing reading.

And Zack just stupidly sat down on the floor next to him and decided to wait for Cloud's son. It couldn't take long, could it?

Oh, but it did take a long time. It was only 25 minutes later that Hope closed the book and looked at Zack with those big green eyes to say.

“Now we can go.”

And Zack obeyed like a puppy to the commands of the 4-year-old. But now, all he could think about was that they were late. And that it wasn't such a simple request after all!

Cissnei, on the other hand, wasn't late, because everything had been asked of her at the last minute: Rude was on a mission with Elena and couldn't stay with Ren that night.

Reno didn't like that at all, especially because the relationship between him and Elena (who had joined shortly after Ren was born) wasn't the best on good days.

Reno had asked Cissnei to take care of his son so he could work at the bar that afternoon, since he couldn't work at night. Cissnei was off duty, so of course Reno took advantage of that.

And worst of all? Cissnei had decided, for some reason, to accept. She went down from Hachiban-gai to Sector 7 Slums below to take care of the baby until Reno got off work, which he had stubbornly and excessively diligently agreed to do that day, even though he could have decline (if Cissnei hadn't, for whatever reason, agreed to do it on her day off).

The Turk crossed the Slums, without her usual uniform, and with Ren safely between her arm and hip, heading towards the apartment where Reno lived.

And she would have gotten there, if she hadn't stopped suddenly.

Zack was coming from the other side, walking more slowly so that Hope, with whom he was holding hands, could easily keep up with him. Zack also stopped suddenly, a few steps away from Cissnei, and his first reaction was:

“Yo, Cissnei.”, he smiled at her. “What are you doing here?”

“You have a son?”, Cissnei asked, frowning, not sure if she was surprised or completely shocked. She was sure Zack had broken up with Aerith some time ago, so how was it possible that...?

Zack looked at Hope. He wasn't used to hearing that question; everyone in the Slum knew that Hope was Cloud's son and that Zack was just a “friend.”

He looked at Cissnei before a “no” left his lips, but only then did he notice Ren in the Turk's arms, and his eyes widened.

"What—you have a baby?”

Cissnei looked at Ren. Where had that come from? Was it because they both were more or less redheads?

“He's not my baby.”, Cissnei hastened to say. Once on the street, someone had stopped her to ask the same question. Reno had been there, but he was more interested in watching her react with the same surprise she was showing now than in correcting the person.

“He's not my son either.”, said Zack. “I'm just looking after him for a... friend...”

“Good afternoon.”, Hope's voice came, his expression neutral, but he was gripping Zack's hand tighter. Hope was quite shy around strangers.

Cissnei looked at the child. She only had glanced at him briefly before questioning Zack, because seeing him holding a child's hand had made her jump to conclusions. But looking at the kid a second time—

Her lips parted. Silver hair, bright green eyes with Mako...

“Is... that Sephiroth's son?”, she asked, her normally composed expression affected by surprise.

Zack could only think of three things at that moment.

-He was late;

-Cissnei had seen Hope;

-Hope had heard Sephiroth's name;

And honestly? Zack felt terrible at that moment. Damn it, Cloud was already naturally trying to distance himself from everything that had to do with Shinra (and consequently, with Soldier and Sephiroth), which was perhaps why he preferred to live there in the Slums rather than anywhere else (even with Angeal's insistence), but now—

Zack thought about denying it, however useless that might be. Maybe laugh and say that he was actually his and that Cissnei had caught him.

But... that would be... really unfair to Sephiroth. Even though maybe he should try, for Cloud's sake.

Ahh, what a mess.

Hope looked at Cissnei more closely. The Turk couldn't help but find it strange that a child so similar to Sephiroth was looking at her in such an almost innocent way. She had only seen the Class First a few times, but he was a figure difficult to forget.

Hope then looked away to Zack as the Soldier spoke.

“I was going to take Hope to his Oka-san now.”, Zack said in a lower tone. “Do you want to come? Maybe we could talk better there?”

Cissnei easily understood what Zack meant. If that was indeed Sephiroth's son, there was a good reason for him to be there in the Slums.

“Souka. I'll come with you.”, she agreed, and they started walking toward Seventh Heaven.

“So... are you babysitting too?”, Zack asked.

“Mm. He's son of a friend.”, Cissnei said.

“He's cute.”

“Hmph, that's because you've never heard him scream at night.”

In fact, Cissnei just hoped Zack wouldn't notice the excessive blue eyes, or at least not comment on them (even though Cissnei had done so with Zack's friend's son). But if he knew how problematic that eye color was...

“Nee-chan...”, Ren pulled Cissnei's hair to get her attention. “Aibo?”

“He's on a mission.”, she replied, as if she wasn't talking to a child. “Let's go see Oka-san now.”

“Aibo?”, Zack asked, and Cissnei sighed.

“That's what happens when they spend all their time calling each other that.”

“Zack?”, Hope called out to the Class First, distracting him from his conversation with Cissnei.

“Mm, what is it, Hope?”

“Sephiroth... that's Oto-san's name, isn't it?"

Ah, really, that afternoon couldn't have been worse: Zack was torn between keeping his promise to Sephiroth and keeping Cloud's wishes.

Angeal would be disappointed if he knew of his hesitation. But doing the right thing was very difficult when both sides were right.

And Angeal hadn't seen Cloud asking him not to say anything... The way those beautiful blue eyes stared at him, an expression that looked so much like the Cloud he had met in Nibelheim.

“You should ask Oka-san.”, Zack said.

“Oka-san never wants to talk about him...”

“Oka-san has his reasons, you know"”

Hope turned his face away, his lips pressed tightly together, clearly upset by the answer. He almost always behaved as if he were much older, but from time to time (especially with Zack) he acted like a brat.

They finally arrived at the bar, climbed the stairs, and entered the establishment without saying another word.

The atmosphere in the bar was somewhat strange. At that hour, it was usually men or older people who stopped for a drink after a day's work, before going home.

However, at that moment it was empty.

“Oka-san.”, Hope let go of Zack's hand and approached Cloud, who was standing next to a table cleaning it.

Of course, he immediately put down the cloth and crouched down to Hope's height.

“Hope.”, he murmured, with a smile that Zack knew he reserved exclusively for his son (although he had occasionally directed it at Zack, but he had to be very exhausted to show that vulnerability).

“Oka-san, I have to ask you a question.”, said Hope.

“Mm?”, asked Cloud, and stood up again.

“Soldier?”, Reno asked, looking at Zack.

“You're not the only one who's surprised.”, Cissnei said, approaching her former coworker and handing him his son. “I think this is yours.”

“Thanks.”

“Ka-san.”, Ren said. “Aibo?”

“On a mission.”, Reno replied.

“Is that your son?”, Zack asked, genuinely surprised. Reno didn't seem like the family type.

“I was going to ask you the same thing...”, Reno began.

“I already did.”, Cissnei said.

“But it's pretty obvious that he's not.”, finished the Turk.

“Since when are you here?”

“Huh, I work here.”

“Really?! Since when?”

“A few days.”

Now Zack was starting to feel uneasy. The Class First knew that sometimes the Turks used unorthodox methods to complete their missions, and infiltration didn't seem that strange for them. Was Reno working there to spy on Cloud or Hope? Did Shinra know something?!

“Iiyo, Tifa hired him a few days ago.”, said Cloud. “It doesn't matter if he worked for Shinra before.”

So Cloud already knew? But still…

“Is he your friend?”, Cissnei asked Zack, referring to Cloud and interrupting the Class First's train of thought. Cloud's smile had disappeared, and he had pulled Hope behind him before his son could ask anything.

Cissnei studied Cloud discreetly for a moment. The boy had called him “Mom”, so Cissnei assumed he was Sephiroth's partner, if the child was really his (Cissnei was almost certain, but honestly? In a world where Hojo existed, it was almost impossible to tell if it was his son or a copy created in a laboratory).

The boy couldn't have been even 20 years old. He wasn't very tall, and he was quite slim, despite having some muscles. Blue eyes in a rather pretty face, spiky blond hair, dressed in dark clothes.

“Yes, it is.”, Zack approached Cloud, placing his hand on his shoulder. It was another sign of “don't worry, everything is under control.” “This is Cloud. And this is Hope.”

He looked at Cloud with a smile and pointed to Cissnei.

“This is Cissnei. A friend from work.”

“We don't actually work in the same department.”, Cissnei clarified. “We just work on the same missions from time to time.”

“They're Turks.”, Zack explained to Cloud.

“Shinra?”, Cloud asked. Yep, he was right, that was really the last thing he needed.

He had gotten used to Reno knowing, especially since Reno hadn't brought it up again. The last thing he had said on the night they drank together was, “I don't care what the Class Firsts do. That's not my job. It's none of my business that Sephiroth has a child with you, and I don't even care.” Then he had smiled at him, beyond drunk. “But if you're hiding that from Shinra, you're much smarter than you look.”

But Cissnei was different. Zack was smiling, clearly trusting her. Maybe... maybe Cloud could relax.

“We work for the Company, yes, but that doesn't mean we belong to it.”, Cissnei sat down at the bar.

“And you, are you friends with two Class Firsts?”, Reno asked Cloud. It was obvious that it was a sarcastic question, since Reno more or less understood what role Sephiroth had played in his life.

“So?”, Cloud asked dryly, pushing Zack's hand away from his shoulder, his boyfriend didn't seem to mind.

“It's just impressive.”, Reno commented, uninterested, since Cloud wouldn't respond to his provocation.

But it was really impressive... He was just a kid from Nibelheim, wasn't he? But he had fucked Sephiroth, Shinra's great hero, and now it seemed that other Class First as well.

“Can you get me a drink?”

“We're closed.”, said Reno. “And I was already on my way out. Thanks for your help, Cissnei.”

He took one last look at Cloud.

“See you tomorrow.”

“What are you in such a hurry for?”, asked the Turk.

“To get some sleep. That's all—”

Cissnei raised her hand in a gesture asking for silence. She took her phone out of her pocket and answered it.

“Cissnei is trustworthy.”, Zack whispered to Cloud. “She won't say anything.”

“Ka-san...”, Ren pulled Reno's hair, he was looking at Cissnei. Old habits die hard; when someone called, it used to be an order for all Turks.

“Mm. Yes, I'm free.”, said Cissnei, who had already lost her day off anyway. There was a moment of silence while the person on the other end, in this case Tseng, spoke.

“What does the vice president want?"

Reno narrowed his eyes, the mere mention of the name making him feel disgusted.

“Souka? Hai. Hai. I'm on my way. Excuse me.”, Cissnei hung up and stood up.

“Work?”, asked Reno.

“Mm.”

She turned to Cloud and Zack.

“I don't know what's going on here, but it's none of my business.”, she gave the Soldier a beautiful smile. “You'll have to explain it to me later.”

And she hurried out of the bar.

“Ts.”, Reno left too, without another word.

Only Cloud, Zack, and Hope, who was clinging to his mother's pants, remained.

Cloud gave Zack an indecipherable look and crouched down in front of his son.

“What did you want to ask, Hope?”

The child hesitated, Zack leaned forward slightly to get closer to his height.

“Hey, you can ask. Oka-san will listen.”, Zack encouraged him.

But Hope just shook his head.

“Mm. No... it's nothing...”, he muttered. Cloud looked at Zack, searching for an answer.

Zack just stood up again and scratched the back of his head, not quite sure what to say.

“Mm, how about we go out for dinner? It's on me!”, Zack suggested with a smile. “What do you say, Hope?”

The boy turned his face away and nodded in agreement.

Zack wondered if it would be better to tell Cloud what Hope had said later, when they were alone.

But he decided not to. Cloud already had enough to worry about with Hope, and now more since Reno and Cissnei, two people too close to Shinra also knew.

But Zack, being who he was, would vouch for her. Cissnei wouldn't tell anyone what she had seen. And apparently, Cloud and Reno must have already talked about something, so that was one less problem.

But it was really strange that Reno, of all people, had a son. Zack knew how strong the Turks' professional ethics were and how much they lived for their work.

Well, but it was the same with Soldier, and Sephiroth had...

Beyond all that, it was difficult for Zack to think about anything when he felt Cloud's breath against his lips, blue eyes closing behind narrowed eyelids, the lights in the room turned off.

And honestly, while Zack was indulging in this, the last person he wanted to think about was Sephiroth.

No, he definitely didn't want to think about him while climbing on top of his former best friend.

Because honestly, who could refuse Cloud? He was completely irresistible, with his blond hair spread out on the bed and his lips parting to say his name...

...

...

…

“Even if tomorrow is barren of promises, nothing should predict my return...”

No one could have predicted that a few days later, Shinra would announce the end of the conflict with Wutai.

The president himself had personally acknowledged Sephiroth's contribution as the main reason why the war had ended so quickly, and with so few casualties. He had called him the “Hero of Shinra,” as had almost everyone else, his face constantly broadcast and shared on every television, in magazines, and in newspapers.

But the truth was that the defeated Wutai called him a Demon, and Masamune dripped with blood, stained up to the hilt. If the sword could break, it would have done so, that being the only way to cleanse itself of the countless lives it had taken and the ashes that stained the silver metal.

A hero, a demon, a god...

But at what cost?

...

...

…

Cloud woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn't anything in particular, not a dream, not a noise.

He lay there on his back, without even opening his eyes. Next to him, Zack's deep, peaceful breathing sounded soft.

Cloud just turned his face to the other side, ready to go back to sleep.

But that's when... he remembered why he had woken up.

It had only been a moment... that strange feeling that he was being watched.

He was about to open his eyes, out of instinct, out of common sense, out of—

That's when a hand covered his eyes.

“!”

Cloud swallowed hard, a shaky breath leaving his lips.

Someone had entered his home—!

Hope—!

Cloud was paralyzed, no matter how much he wanted to move, something seemed to prevent him, pinning him to the bed.

The large hand over his eyes, the cold feel of leather on his eyes.

The person moved, the bed swayed under their weight, one knee resting on the mattress.

The sensation of something brushing against his chest sent shivers down his spine. Whoever it was, they were imposing and tall, a huge, deep shadow engulfing Cloud, their long hair brushing against his bare skin.

Cloud was sure he heard the person smile, their hand covering his eyes almost... gently?

He suddenly realized who it was, his heart skipped a beat.

The hand, the hair, the presence, everything was—

A second hand, this time on his mouth, preventing him from saying the name that had been stuck in his throat for four years.

He, the person, the shadow bent closer over Cloud. The hair brushed his cheek, his face hovering over his, close to his ear.

His lips parted slowly, and Cloud could almost hear the words, the word, his name.

But it never came, neither the voice in a brief whisper, nor Cloud's name spoken by him, only—

“!”

Cloud woke up suddenly and sat up abruptly in bed. He was panting, his breathing rapid. He looked around the room, searching for someone who couldn't be there, but who had seemed so real!

“Cloud...?”, Zack sat up in bed, rubbing one of his eyes with his fist. “What's wrong?”

Cloud looked at Zack for a second, but quickly turned his face away so Zack couldn't see his expression.

“Cloud?”, Zack repeated, placing his hand on Cloud's leg. Cloud shuddered. “What's wrong? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.”, Cloud replied, taking a deep breath. “It was just... a dream...”

“A dream? Are you sure?”, Cloud was acting really strange. It didn't seem like it was just a dream that had disturbed him that much.

“Oka-san...?”, a knock on the door, accompanied by Hope's soft voice and gentle footsteps.

Zack only had a moment to thank whatever god he could think of for them to had both remembered to get dressed (at least from the waist down).

“Hope?”, Cloud replied. “What are you doing up?”

The boy entered the room with small steps, carrying the baby chocobo with him, his favorite toy since forever, that already showed signs of wear.

“I had a nightmare...”, he murmured, approaching his mother's bed. “Can I... stay here tonight...?”

“I can sleep on the sofa.”, Zack was already getting up.

“You don't have to.”, Cloud picked up the T-shirt he wore as pajamas from the floor and pulled it over his head. “It's okay, Hope. You can stay here with me.”

The child's face lit up and he hurried to climb onto the bed. Zack squeezed into a corner and Cloud did the same, so that Hope could lie down too, with Cloud between his son and Zack.

Zack lay on his back, Cloud on his side, so that Hope could snuggle into his chest.

“Good night, Oka-san.”, Hope whispered softly, and Cloud held him close.

“Good night, Hope.”

“Are you sure you're okay?”, Zack whispered.

“Mm. It's fine.”, Cloud murmured. “Good night.”

“Good night."

Zack kissed his hair and turned away. He would fall asleep again quickly.

Cloud tried not to think about it, not to think about the ghostly sensation of the hands, the hair, the breath in his ear. Or that Hope had also dreamed of something that had frightened him. He never asked to sleep with his Mom.

Cloud closed his eyes.

It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real... it couldn't be real...

Sephiroth had been dismissed. Seven days later, he was in Midgar...

Chapter Text

Sephiroth

I don't remember ever feeling so impatient before.

Even with my arms and legs crossed, it was difficult to stay still, the sense of urgency filling my senses. Lazard had advised me not to speak, which was easy enough to obey. I kept my face turned away from the half-dozen cameras in the room. Across from Lazard, Genesis' expression was even colder than mine.

The war had ended at least two weeks ago, with Wutai's surrender and a ceasefire agreement signed by the President himself.

Then came the return trip, the celebrations, the awards. They were more missions, of a different kind, long and drawn out. They seemed to take longer than the battles themselves, than the silent nights and the waiting. Or maybe it was just an illusion caused by my own impatience, by the tingling under my skin that I forced myself to ignore.

And on that day, there had been a press conference. Lazard had originally rejected the idea, but pressure from the other directors and my total refusal to participate in any other interviews or answer questions forced him to accept. Lazard responded briefly to the questions (he too had much more work to do than be there) and repeating what had already been said before.

Five days in Midgar... this is not where I need to be... all of this is just a distraction.

He is waiting...

“We're done here.”, Lazard stood up and signaled for the cameras to be turned off.

“But, Lazard-san!”, protested one of the few journalists in the room. “We would like to hear a few words from the hero Sephiroth himself, please.”

I stood up, as did Genesis. Lazard didn't even have to look at me to answer.

“We're done for today.”, he repeated. “We won't be answering any more questions.”

“But—!”

A photographer stood in front of me, his camera pointed directly at my face. I turned my face away, and Lazard signalled to one of the soldiers in the room, who approached the photographer and pulled him back while another grabbed his camera.

“That's enough!”, said one of the soldiers. “The conference is over!”

“Sephiroth-sama, a few words!”, begged the photographer as he was pulled away. I didn't even look at him or the other journalists who were saying the same thing. I left the room, with Lazard behind me and then Genesis.

“I'll make sure that only what's relevant is shown.”, said Lazard, rubbing one of his temples, the constant pressure of recent times beginning to affect him.

“They're just embarrassing themselves.”, commented Genesis.

“Was that the last one?”, I asked, changing the subject. I had seen journalists try worse things.

“There will be a dinner soon.”, Lazard murmured, one hand resting on his chin, trying to remember the exact date, which he eventually gave up on. “In any case, you are both dismissed until further notice.’

“Director.”

“Director.”

Lazard went one way, Genesis and I went the other.

“I thought this would never end.”, I said, and Genesis' lips curved into a small smile.

“The tragedies of being a hero.”, he teased, and that made me smile a little, even though that may not have been Genesis' intention.

"Are you going to see Angeal?”

“No. He's on a mission with the Koiinu.”

“I thought Zack was in Junon for a week.”

“He is. But something must have happened, and Angeal was called too.”

“Souka...”

“But yes, I intend to wait for him.”, he replied. “And I suppose you intend to leave. Are you going after your Cloud?”

I wasn't surprised that he knew, or that my intentions were so obvious.

“I wonder if your goddess is still waiting for you, Sephiroth...”, he murmured.

“I wonder the same thing.”, I murmured as we entered the elevator.

“No, you don't. You wouldn't act like a man possessed if you had doubts about what awaits you.”

I wondered if he was reciting something from Loveless that I didn't remember.

“I mean, you could have asked Angeal.”

“He was too busy.”, said. It wasn't entirely a lie, but it wasn't a complete justification either.

Listening wasn't going to be enough. Not after so long. I had to go there, see them with my own eyes (touch them with my fingers, feel the weight of their breaths, the warmth of life).

The elevator door opened and I stepped out. I looked over my shoulder at Genesis, who clicked the button and gave me a small, indecipherable smile.

“I hope the Goddess continues to bless you, Sephiroth.”, he murmured.

I barely heard him, walking again, too focused on the only thing that had occupied my thoughts since I returned to Midgar.

Not even Genesis' Megami herself would be enough to keep us apart...

…

...

...

I had walked that path countless times. At night, during the day, in the afternoon. On consecutive days, after some mission or several hours of filling out reports. Sometimes that meant sleepless nights, missed meals, or ignored training sessions.

It was much more than duty that motivated me, than a sense of responsibility towards my son and his Oka-san. Even though I didn't know how I should feel (the meaning of having a child, of having Cloud), I wanted to pursue that feeling in my chest, that... happiness.

The only time panic motivated me was when Hope was born. The day was etched in my memory, time had not dimmed it for a second. The fear, the relief, the fact that I now had a son and that Cloud and I were perpetually connected, with bonds deeper than flesh.

I raised my hand and knocked on the door twice. The night was dark and silent. It wasn't excessively late, but the cold and icy wind kept people off the streets.

Nibelheim was much colder than Midgar.

I heard movement inside the house, then the door opened.

“Good evening, Claudia.”, I greeted her as soon as she appeared, her hand still holding the door, her eyes widening when she saw me.

“Sephiroth...”, her lips parted in surprise. Then she regained her composure. “Souka... they said the war was over.”

She stepped back to let me in, I stepped forward, muttered a short “thank you” and closed the door behind me.

Claudia walked into the living room and I followed her.

“You came to see Cloud, right?”, she asked, stopping in the middle of the room and turning to face me.

“Hai.”, I replied, and looked around for a moment. Everything seemed to be exactly where it had been, the furniture, the various objects.

I heard no noise coming from the bedrooms.

Maybe none of them is home...

“I'll be blunt, my son no longer lives here.”, she murmured.

“No?”, I asked, frowning, genuinely surprised.

Cloud isn't here...? Then where—

“He and Hope went to Midgar.”, she clarified. I frowned even more and couldn't hide my surprise again.

In Midgar? Cloud took my son to Midgar?

I parted my lips, but the word “why” died on my tongue.

“They left two years ago. They're in... in the Sector 7 Slums, as far as I know. I don't really understand how Midgar works, but I think that's what he told me.”

I suddenly regretted not speaking seriously with Angeal or Zack. Not asking them, not listening to them.

Cloud is in Midgar... why? I thought...

This trip was useless. He was so close...

Never mind, I can ask him later. I just have to find them first, even if the Midgar Slums aren't the most convenient place.

“I apologize on behalf of my son.”, she muttered. “For you coming here for nothing, Nibelheim being so far.”

“You don't have to apologize. There was no way Cloud could have told me.”, I said.

He could have waited for me... but four years is too long.

I have no illusions about it, Cloud is now 18 or 19, Hope is almost 5. Four years is only four years, but not when you're young and waiting...

“I wish I could help more.”, she murmured. “But I'm sorry. Cloud doesn't come to Nibelheim and doesn't say much in the letters he writes.”

“I appreciate what you've told me.”, I said.

“I think it's only fair.”, she said, sounding somewhat hesitant, her eyes constantly avoiding mine.

They had always been undeniably alike, mother and son. Cloud was the spitting image of Claudia, with blond hair and soft blue eyes, perhaps in the same way that Hope is so similar to me.

I wonder if Cloud looked even more like her now.

“Maybe now it's too late...”, she murmured, after a moment of silence in which I studied her features, so similar to Cloud's. “But thank you. For being correct to my son and not abandoning him. Even now. Things may not have been perfect, but you didn't leave...”

She placed her hand on her chest.

“And for that, I am deeply grateful.”, she concluded.

Twice, Claudia had asked me to leave. Those memories were not old, perhaps more distorted than others.

But she didn't want the same thing for her grandson that she had given her son. She wanted Hope to have both parents. And if that wasn't possible, she wanted me to at least leave, to never be a shadow in a place in my son's life that I had never occupied.

I wondered if my mother would have felt the same way. If she, if Jenova, would have felt the same relief that fate had brought me to Cloud. If she would feel grateful that the mother of her son's child was someone like Cloud, who would not abandon him. Who was present, and who was not a mere memory, a name without a face.

“You don't have to thank me.”, I said. “Hope is my son. I wouldn't leave him, or Cloud.”

The war had been a different matter. If I could have refused, or deserted to return to them, without the consequences of my actions being so catastrophic (if I had killed as many Shinra people as I killed from Wutai, maybe I could have run away with them without worrying that we would ever be caught), I would have done so without thinking twice.

And I had thought about it. A lot. Obsessively, even in Wutai. That if both Shinra and Wutai disappeared, there would be nothing left between me and Cloud.

Or maybe it was just the smoke and ashes clouding my conscience.

Claudia smiled slightly, which lit up her eyes and made me see the deep similarities she shared with her son.

I want to see him. I have to see him.

“Anyway, I apologize that you had to make this whole trip on purpose.”, she said. “I hope you can find Cloud quickly in the Slums. I'm sure both he and Hope are fine.”

She smiled again, but her eyes didn't light up.

There was something in the way she spoke that reminded me of a farewell. The thanks, the apologies.

In the same way, I had confessed so much to Cloud before leaving. We didn't have time anymore; I wanted the relief I ended up getting from revealing my feelings to him.

It was almost... as if it were the last time we would see each other. Or maybe so much time with Genesis had made me see things in an overly tragic way.

“I'll ask Cloud to come visit you.”, I murmured, not sure why.

“It's okay. I'm happy you're going to see my son.”, she said. “Zack said the same thing. But I know Cloud. I know he has his reasons.”

Did Zack come here too?

Souka... I'm not impressed that Koiinu, Angeal's pupil no less, kept his promise.

He told me that this was exactly what he was going to do. Find Cloud and Hope, protect them for me.

And he did it, and he made the same unnecessary trip.

Hmph, it was the result of my own foolishness and arrogance. I should have waited for Angeal or Zack, called to ask questions, or simply asked for help.

But my desire to see Cloud first, before anything else, even before hearing Angeal and Zack talk about him, blinded me.

“Have a good trip.”, Claudia wished me, with a genuine smile. “Hope must have grown a lot, I'm sure you'll be happy when you see him.”

“Thank you.”, I replied, a hint of a smile crossing my lips.

It was the last thing I said, then I left the house and the village.

The idea of “home” didn't mean much to me, but the closest thing I had to it was that house in Nibelheim.

It was within those walls that Hope was born, where I spent so much time with him and Cloud.

And now, I was leaving it behind again.

Cloud is in Midgar, there's no reason to waste any more time here.

Nanaban-gai, Slums.

To see them again, finally...

As reasonable and patient as I intended to be, what I wanted was too close, I could almost feel it, the fulfillment of my desires between my fingers, a tingling under my skin.

I didn't wait for Angeal or Zack.

I only called the former. He didn't answer, but Genesis called me back, or more specifically, Angeal called me from Genesis's phone.

“Do you know where Cloud is in the Slums?”, I asked immediately.

Even I wasn't crazy enough to go to the Slums blindly. I had never been there, and looking for Cloud among hundreds of other people would take time. Too much time.

Angeal asked no questions and made no comments. He also knew that we could talk better later, and I was clearly interrupting something.

“Look for a bar in the central area called “Seventh Heaven.”, he replied slowly, then hastened to add: “Wait, Sephiroth. Don't tell me you're going to—”

I hung up before he could finish. Genesis would probably thank me later, but in truth I just don´t wanted to be called to reason, too lost in my near obsession with seeing them.

When I arrived in Midgar, it was late, really late. Not that the lights ever went out or the city ever slept.

Regardless of the time, I got off the Plate and went down to the Slums, my movements automatic, without thinking about what I was doing, without seeing the train, or feeling the passage of time and movement.

I walked along the deserted and dimly lit path, not caring if I was seen.

Perhaps my foolishness would cost me dearly, but I could pay any price later.

Just as Angeal had said, I found the place called Seventh Heaven, with a huge sign offering me its name.

It's unlikely that I'll remember to thank Angeal later...

I climbed the wooden stairs, the space still lit by a yellow light escaping through the windows.

I pushed the door open and entered, my irises flinching for a moment at the difference in light.

I glanced quickly around the space until a female voice caught my eye.

“I'm sorry. We just—"

She turned to me from behind the bar counter.

”!”

Her red eyes widened, her lips parted in shock. I studied her for a moment and glanced back around the bar, even though it was obvious she was alone.

“Se—”

“Cloud?”, I asked.

My firm question made her react. Her lips parted slowly.

“H-he just left.”

I turned my back and left the bar. I went down the stairs and heard the almost imperceptible sound of footsteps to my left, which made me follow them. I walked down a side street, the dim lighting casting shadows on the ground.

If it had been before, I would have been able to tell perfectly well if they were Cloud's footsteps. I could distinguish him by the way he breathed, by the smell of Oka-san, by the sound his lips made when they parted.

That didn't stop me from following those steps, until the sound became louder and then simply ceased. He stopped walking, I stopped walking.

A few meters away, on a dark street in the slums. The figure turned sideways to look at me, my lips parted.

“Cloud...”

“!”

He suddenly turned to me, his blue eyes wide open, the blue color shining even in the dark.

It was strange, the feeling of relief that filled me. I felt myself relax, as if his name had been stuck in my throat for the last few moments and only now could I breathe again.

His lips parted in disbelief and he stood frozen in the same position. The cold wind made his hair shiver and pulled mine.

"You... can't...”, is voice faltered, Cloud continued to stare at me in shock.

But I could hardly care about his words: he was there, in front of me. What else mattered more than that?

I moved forward slowly, Cloud remained in the same position, still staring at me in the same stunned manner.

I had thought too much about that moment to hesitate. That he would be there after waiting for me for so long, on a dark, starless night in Nibelheim, similar to the night I had taken him for the first time, or like the night I had left him.

I closed the distance between us, our bodies practically touching. Only then did Cloud react, lifting his face to look me in the eyes, his lips parted.

I also parted my lips to speak, but I fell silent to look at him, to see him up close.

In my head, in my memories, in my dreams, the Cloud I had known in Nibelheim remained the same, the same age, the same body, the same features I knew by heart, even though I knew realistically that that was impossible.

Cloud was taller, his features had matured, more defined and sharper, his blond hair shorter.

He was still narrow, thin, fragile. He who had given me a son who looked like me, but whom I wished had his features.

Beautiful, perfect, exactly as I remembered Cloud, only four years older.

But Cloud didn't seem to be looking at me, his blue eyes strangely empty, still caught up in the shock of seeing me.

“Se... phiroth...”

For a moment, I had the feeling he was going to cry, the way his voice broke weakly, his eyes swollen and unfocused.

I slowly raised my hand and touched his chin, holding it gently between my fingers, my glove preventing me from touching his skin directly.

Still, he was so close that I felt my chest tremble, adrenaline I hadn't felt in years rushing through my veins.

The street didn't resemble that ditch in Nibelheim, but I could possess him there just the same. Touch him, hold him, press him against my body. Run my hands over his form, to have it memorized at my fingertips again.

My touch seemed to wake Cloud from his own trance. His eyes focused and stared directly into mine.

Cloud suddenly pulled away, his face escaping my hand. I closed my fingers around nothing and lowered my hand.

I would have enough time later to feel him. After seeing Hope.

“Why... what are you doing here...?”, he asked and took a deep breath.

“Your mother told me you were here.”, I said calmly. “I guess the rest was luck.”

“Kaa-san...”, he repeated and turned his face away to look in another direction, lowered his eyes, and took a deep breath.

“And what—”

“I told you, Cloud.”, I murmured before he could finish. “That I was coming back to you. To Hope.”

Mentioning our son's name made him shudder, and Cloud turned his face away even further.

I opened my lips to ask him where Hope was, but Cloud spoke first, taking a step back and lifting his face, even without looking me in the eye.

“...can we talk somewhere else...?”

I just nodded, Cloud walked past me, and I followed him closely as we retraced our steps.

I took the opportunity to observe him again. Cloud had developed well in recent years, which meant that, at least, he must be living well enough.

We passed Seventh Heaven again, took another path, and climbed some side stairs to what appeared to be an apartment building.

Does he live here...?

Cloud unlocked one of the doors and went in, I followed him and closed the door behind me.

It was a simple room, with a door leading to another room that must have been the bathroom. Cloud turned on the lights and walked to the middle of the room, stopping and turning to face me.

I looked around the room again. There was nothing to indicate that a child lived there.

“This is Tifa's room.”, he murmured. “She usually stays with Bar... with her boyfriend now, so we can talk here.”

“Souka...”, I looked at Cloud, who continued to avoid my gaze. “Do you live near here too?”

“Mm. In another area. This was a better place to talk.”, he replied simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

I looked at Cloud. The many things I wanted to know didn't seem that could be answered by the questions I should ask. If he was okay. Why he was there. If he had missed me.

Finally, I decided to ask the most important question.

“How's Hope?”, I asked. It was almost strange not to see him with Cloud, since I had seen my son always with Oka-san (in his womb, then on his chest or in his arms).

“Fine.”, he replied. I continued to stare at him, and Cloud added. “He's with Aerith now. He stayed at her house today.”

“Zack's girlfriend?”

Cloud hesitated again before nodding.

As far as I remembered, the girl lived in the slums of District 5. That meant I probably won´t be able to see him today...

Huh, what's another 24 hours for someone who waited four years?

“I understand. I just hoped to see him with you.”

Cloud's expression became more closed, and I wondered if I had offended him.

“I had to work late and asked Aerith to take care of him.”, he explained, but it seemed like he was defending himself, even the tough way he had his arms crossed reminded me of that.

“I understand.”, I reiterated. “But I still want to see him. Whenever you can. Tomorrow or the day after, any day.”

I took a step toward Cloud. Any modesty, shame, and doubts I had ever had had died in the war to Masamune.

Cloud didn't back away, which was a comfort.

“I told you I'd come back...”

I wanted to ask him how Hope was really, what kind of child he was. I didn't care if Cloud told me, if he explained it to me before I saw Hope in person.

But Cloud turned his face away before I could even think of touching him or asking him anything.

This time, the refusal hurt. I looked at Cloud, who continued to avoid my gaze.

He took a step back and ran his hand over his face.

"Listen... it's late. I'm sorry... I didn't... I didn't expect...”, Cloud hesitated. “I... tomorrow, maybe? You shouldn't… even be here.”

“In the Slums...?”

“Yes.”, he took a deep breath.

“But you are here,”, I said.

“So you're not upset that I'm in Midgar?”, he asked, finally raising his eyes to meet mine, his blue eyes without Mako.

Am I angry? I think that's one more thing I can worry about later.

“I suppose you have your reasons, Cloud.”, I said. “I asked you to take care of Hope in my absence. I can't imagine you would have done anything against that.”

He was the mother of my child, of course I would trust Cloud completely, even if it was unexpected.

“I didn't.”, he said and uncrossed his arms. “I'll... see when it can be. I can call you later.”

“You'll need my number.”

“I will."

And I gave it to him, and Cloud wrote it down on his phone, which was still the same one I had given him.

Then he put it in the pocket of his pants and avoided my gaze again.

Cloud was so close and so much better than my memories that it was hard to control myself.

“I have to go. I'll call you later...”, he muttered.

“Mm, thanks.”

And Cloud left. He opened the door and walked out, leaving it open and me standing there.

I decided not to pressure him. It was dawn, and he must have been exhausted.

And I had seen him and would be able to see Hope soon, so there was no reason not to be patient.

I opened and closed my hand, the same one I had touched his face with, even with the leather glove in between.

He waited for me. I can wait for Cloud as long as it takes...

…

...

...

Narrator

Cloud thought he was hallucinating when he heard Sephiroth's voice.

It wasn't the first time he had heard the soft voice calling his name, a fragment of his own imagination. Or of the wish, later transformed into fear, that the hero would return.

He had left Seventh Heaven very late to help Tifa clean up. His friend had agreed to throw a birthday party for Johnny, another resident of the Slums, there at the bar. Of course, the party had gone on late into the night, and many of the people who had agreed to help clean up afterwards (Biggs had had to drag a very drunk Jessie home while she sang the Gold Saucer chocobo song and recited passages from Loveless) weren´t able to.

Reno didn't mix with large crowds and hadn't even shown up that day, so it was up to Tifa and Cloud to tidy up the last few things.

Cloud left the bar at dawn and made his way home. He heard footsteps behind him but didn't care.

Until, of course, the footsteps became persistent. Maybe it was some drunk idiot who thought he had a chance at something. Even if it was with Zack, Cloud was exhausted and had to work the next morning, he just wanted to go home and sleep.

When the person continued to persist, Cloud decided to stop and confront him once and for all.

“Cloud...”

But the voice had called his name. It had to be his mind playing tricks on him. It was impossible for Sephiroth to be in Sl—

”!"

His heart had beaten so hard that it hurt in his chest, surprise clouding his features, his eyes wide open, his lips parting in shock.

It wasn't a hallucination. It wasn't his mind. Or maybe it was. Maybe the man he saw in front of him was another hallucination, like the fingers he sometimes felt on his skin that could only belong to one person, or the soft sensation of long hair brushing against his back.

Luckily for him, Zack had been on a mission for over a week and couldn't see the state Cloud woke up in after that, panting and sweating.

No, it couldn't be, it was impossible!

But the more he looked at the figure, the more he was sure it was a dream.

Sephiroth had always seemed unreal to him, after all.

But when the man advanced toward him, Cloud had the sudden feeling that it was real: Sephiroth was right there, in the Nanaban-gai Slums of Midgar.

Four years of war had not, even for a second, disfigured his appearance. The same imposing figure that could easily eclipse and swallow him (Cloud had grown a lot, but even so, Sephiroth still seemed huge, much larger than his physical form). Dressed entirely in black, his silver hair fell past his shoulders and was longer, also falling over his face.

And the eyes... the bright green eyes, shining with the supernatural glow of Mako, were fixed on Cloud. The man hardly seemed to blink, just staring at him.

But seeing him was not as shocking as the rest of that night. The casual way Sephiroth touched him

It was the same way how he touched him before (and Cloud, as much as he didn't want to admit it, remembered it perfectly), but there was a new confidence in the way he did it. They both had always had difficulty breaking the small distance that separated them, but now Sephiroth did it as if it meant nothing, as if those last four years had never existed.

And finally, Sephiroth didn't seem to care that Cloud had moved away, or that he was in Midgar, or that he had left: Sephiroth only seemed to care about seeing him, being there with him, and finding Hope.

Cloud remembered the terrible feeling he had had when he spoke to Reno, who was sure that the father of his own son would never look for him because he didn't care, while Cloud was sure that Sephiroth would return.

And now there he was, looking almost disappointed that he wasn't going to see his son.

Cloud only breathed again when he got home, alone. He had thought about calling Zack, but had decided not to and had just gone to bed, completely exhausted but too tired to sleep.

Perhaps because seeing Sephiroth didn't bring up only bad things. Of course, there was the great concern about what to do about Hope now, but there was also... everything else.

Maybe deep down, he had missed the hero, or maybe it was just fatigue talking.

That night, Cloud didn't dream of big hands or long hair brushing against his skin, or bright green eyes.

And yet, he woke up gasping, the sheets wet and the alarm clock ringing...

Sephiroth

I hardly slept that night.

Cloud's behavior was strange, but not surprising. He was tired and in shock, we would be able to talk better next time. And I would be able to see my son again.

I kept thinking about the baby with round green eyes and silver hair. As unrealistic as it was (too much time had passed for it to still be real), I kept longing for little hands to grab my hair and pull it. Or to see him on Cloud's chest, or lying between our bodies, sleeping peacefully.

It's impossible, of course. Another thing Shinra took from me.

But still, he's fine. Even in Midgar, even with my blood and inheriting so many of my traits.

That he could be a normal child was the only thing I could ask for, away from scientists and soldiers, from cold rooms and the loneliness of being special.

I knew that Cloud had prevented that, that he had protected him from everything, as my mother had not done with me.

And then, I was going to have Cloud.

I was going to touch him and possess him, remember again the taste of “life” he left in my mouth, clean the ashes and smoke from my senses.

The next day, the calm of having no missions or work made time pass painfully slowly as I waited for a message.

Seeing Angeal again was the only thing that made the day less of a waiting game. He looked exactly the same as the last time we had seen each other.

Genesis seemed different, happier, even though it was almost impossible to tell with his neutral expression and cold eyes. I had spent enough time with him to see the subtle changes in his behavior.

Angeal smiled at me after leaning the Buster Sword against the wall of the training room.

I smiled back as he approached.

“Even if tomorrow is barren of promises...”, I heard Genesis say and rolled my eyes. “Nothing should foretell my return...”

Angeal hugged me for a moment. I didn't expect the contact, but I didn't pull away.

“Thanks for taking care of Genesis...”, he whispered before stepping back and crossing his arms, a smile appearing on his lips. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you.”

“Huh, is that how you greet a hero?”, asked Genesis, stepping forward until he was beside Angeal.

“Maybe not,”, he replied. “But that's how you greet a friend.”

“How are you?”

“Fine. Zack asked me to say hello for him.”

“I thought he was coming back with you.”

Angeal sighed and shrugged.

“I think they're trying to work him to exhaustion.”, he said.

“Huh, your Koiinu can survive, Angeal.”, said Genesis, turning his eyes to me. “And? Did you find your Goddess?’”

Angeal looked at Genesis in confusion, then at me.

“Who?”

“I found him, yes.”, I said calmly.

“Cloud?”, Angeal asked me and switched between looking at me and Genesis again. “He's here in Midgar.”

“I know.”

“He is?”, Genesis asked, and I couldn't tell if his surprise was genuine or forced. “I was almost certain you wanted your blessing hidden from everyone.”

“Cloud has his reasons.”

“And you don't know what those are, do you?”

“Have you talked to him?”, Angeal interrupted.

“Not yet. We'll do it soon.”

“And Hope?”

I shook my head, and Angeal looked away.

“Souka...”

“Perhaps your Goddess has refused you her blessing.”, Genesis murmured. It wasn't a mocking tone; he was serious.

“Genesis...”, Angeal murmured.

I kept the same expression, not caring. Genesis' assumptions carried no weight to me.

“You should take advantage of being in Midgar to read something else.”, I suggested. Genesis gave me a strange look but didn't respond.

“In any case...”, said Angeal, changing the subject. “Director Lazard hasn't assigned you any new missions yet, has he?”

“I think that's why you and Zack are so overworked.”, I said.

“We've been overworked for years.”, Angeal said with a laugh and continued smiling. “In any case, it's our duty as Soldier.”

“I thought you were going to suggest something interesting.”, Genesis joked, and Angeal took his phone out of his pocket.

“Junon Cannon?”, he proposed. “For old times’ sake?”

I checked my own phone before answering: no new calls, no new messages.

“Mm.”, I agreed with a nod as I put it away again.

“Genesis?”

“As you wish.”, he smiled at me. “How nice it is to be able to face each other instead of participating in the War of the Beasts?”

The walls around us began to disappear, Junon virtualizing as the simulation began.

I raised Masamune and pointed it toward Genesis.

“Do you doubt that this is the War of the Beasts?” I asked. He touched the blade of my sword with his fingertips, his blue eyes burning.

“It hasn't even started yet...”

...

…

...

However, it was only a momentary distraction. The fight was insipid, especially after the adrenaline rush I had felt just from being so close to Cloud.

No contact that day, the night stretched on endlessly, and I barely slept.

I only received one message the next afternoon, a short text, a location in the Slums with a time, asking if we could meet. My answer was clearly yes.

The next morning, just before the chosen time, I was there. It was a kind of garage on the edge of the Sector 5 Slums, isolated in the middle of a junkyard. Cloud was standing on the path leading to the entrance, his arms crossed over his chest. His blond hair shone in the dim light, dressed entirely in dark clothes, wearing a black leather jacket that seemed a little too big for him.

He turned his face toward me when he heard my footsteps and uncrossed his arms when he saw me. I stopped walking when I was close enough (uncomfortably far) and gave him a small smile.

“Hello, Cloud.”

This time, he didn't avoid my gaze, his blue eyes fixed on mine.

“Sephiroth...”, he murmured back, and my name sounded good coming from him.

I studied him for a moment before looking around, and Cloud followed my gaze.

“I thought it was a good place, since no one comes here...”, he murmured.

“Souka...”

I crossed my arms and looked at Cloud with another small smile. In my mind, I closed the distance between us and kissed him, until the only thing he could think of and say was my name.

There were, however, more important things to discuss before that.

“Hope—”

"About Hope—”

I fell silent, and so did Cloud. Then he sighed and looked away.

“I didn't tell him you were back.”, he said. “Honestly, I still don't know...”

Cloud hesitated again, clenched his teeth for a moment, then looked at me.

“What... are you going to do now?”, he finally asked. “What do you want to do?”

“What do you want me to do?”, I asked.

“I don't know.”

“I think it's obvious.”, I said. To me, who hadn't thought about anything else for four years, it was more than obvious. “I want you and Hope. That's why I came back.”

It was all for this...

Cloud stared at me, his lips parted, his eyes softening. For that moment, before he regained his composure, he almost seemed... sad...

It was only then that I realized that Cloud had changed more than I had originally thought: he was looking at me freely, and his eyes... were not the same.

“It's too late, Sephiroth.”

The initial confusion I felt helped numb the pain.

“What?”

“I'm not going back to Nibelheim.”, he said, and I had the feeling that I wasn't the first person he had said that to. Or that he had thought about going back, but hadn't done so.

“It's not something I'm asking you to do.”, I said calmly. “I imagine it must have been difficult to leave your family home. Hmph, not that I know, since I don't have one.”

“My life is here now. Hope's too.”, he said, in the same almost cold tone. “You being here...”

“I would never cause harm my own son.”, I replied.

“Huh, he's in danger if they find out he's your son. You were the one who said to hide him from Shinra.”

“That doesn't explain why you're in Midgar.”, I commented, and I admit it was unpleasant of me, because I trusted Cloud and even though he knew my opinion, he didn't disappoint me.

I would have preferred things to have been different, but Hope is fine, so I can ignore the rest.

Cloud hesitated again before answering, his face turned away so he didn't have to look at me.

“The only thing I could do in Nibelheim was wait.”, he said. “There was nothing there. Tifa invited me to come work with her, and I accepted. That's all.”

“It was your decision.”, I said. “But you protected Hope, and that's all that matters to me.”

“You appearing in the Slums could have ruined that.”, he said dryly and crossed his arms. Seeing Cloud's defensive stance reminded me of an animal that would either attack me or run away if I continued to pressure him.

I didn't answer. I knew it had been foolish, but it was the only way to find him.

The sun was shining, but the atmosphere was cold. I still wanted him desperately and was having trouble understanding what he really meant.

Too late for what?

I took a step forward. Cloud didn't back down, but his posture became more tense.

“We can discuss this later.”, I said. “I want to see our son, Cloud. I'm sure you understand.”

Cloud hesitated again.

“Even if that's bad for him...?”

I tilted my head slightly and stared at Cloud with a frown.

“He doesn't know about you.”, he admitted.

It was the same feeling as a scalpel sliding down my spine.

Just as I didn't know about my father, my own son also didn't—

“Souka...”, I murmured, parting my lips slowly. “I suppose... it makes sense...”

I wondered if that was how Cloud felt before, seeing me make decisions I thought were right and not understanding my motives. Suffering because he couldn't understand my reasons and yet desperately trying to justify them for me. Maybe because he trusted me, maybe because he had no choice.

Just as I want to believe in him and justify his choices, even if it hurts not to understand.

“It would only make things more difficult...”, Cloud murmured. “Hope was too young to understand.”

“Is that why you don't want me to see him?”, I asked, taking another step toward him.

“It was just a way to protect him, to keep anyone from finding out.”, he said, in a colder tone.

“And you'd rather keep things that way, Cloud?”, I asked, closing the distance between us. He didn't back away, but he didn't accept me either.

“No...”, he admitted, without looking at me, as if the closeness didn't affect him the same way it affected me. “He's your son. He'll find out sooner or later...”

“Tell me what you want, Cloud...”, I murmured, reaching out and touching his face. He lifted his face, his eyes opening wider as his blue irises met mine.

I had the feeling... I saw them glow green...

“I'll do it...”

Even if I had to take down the Plate or incinerate Shinra, I was willing to do whatever it—

“I need time...”, was all he said, taking a step back to distance himself from me. “Give me a few days...”

“Mm.”, I nodded. “If it's just time you need...”

Cloud didn't answer, but he didn't need to.

I had waited four years to see him, I would wait as long as it took.

Cloud would eventually realize that we were too connected for the passage of time to make a difference. That our bond was deeper than flesh, it was alive and breathing.

“I'll wait...”

Chapter Text

Narrator

“Oh, sorry, Cloud.”, Aerith clasped her hands together in apology, looking somewhat flustered. “I thought you were coming later. Hope is still—”

“You don't have to apologize.”, Cloud interrupted, before Aerith, who was doing him a favor, could apologize. “I needed to talk to you, Aerith.”

They were at the girl's house in the Slums. Her mother had gone to the market (because there was a chance Hope would have dinner with them and she needed x to make the dinner she wanted to make for him) and Cloud's son was napping in Aerith's bedroom upstairs.

“With me?”, the girl pointed to herself.

“Mm.”

"Mm, right...”, Aerith rested her hand on the back of a chair at the round table in the living room as she watched Cloud. “I like your jacket. It suits you.”

Cloud looked down as if to confirm what he was wearing.

Oh, yes... that jacket actually belonged to Zack, and was one of the few pieces of clothing Cloud had seen him wear, apart from his Soldier uniform.

And Aerith must have also known...

She looked at Cloud and smiled.

Yes, she definitely knew.

Sephiroth had also looked, and Cloud almost immediately regretted not paying more attention to the jacket he had worn before leaving the house. But Sephiroth was always looking now, his eyes incessantly fixed on Cloud, as if it would burn him if he moved them away.

Those green eyes that seemed to see everything, Cloud felt extremely exposed under that penetrating gaze, as if the hero knew what he was thinking.

But Sephiroth couldn't know, not about the coat, not about anything.

“Ah, is it about Hope?”

"What?”

“What we have to talk about.”, Aerith clarified, tilting her head slightly in doubt. “Isn't it about Hope?”

“What's wrong with Hope?”, Cloud asked, and Aerith wanted to laugh: Cloud was always so serious and so ‘cool,’ but it only took the slightest thing involving his son to make him lose all his composure.

“I thought you could explain it to me.”, Aerith said, with a more serious expression. “Did something happen? Hope seemed agitated... and well, you know how your son is. Do you know if he's been sleeping well at night? He seemed to have a lot of trouble falling asleep when I put him down for a nap. That's why we are late.”

“I... didn't notice anything...”, Cloud admitted, feeling a mixture of regret and shame.

So much had happened in the last two days that he had hardly paid any attention to Hope.

Cloud knew that his own son had... some strange dreams a few nights earlier. Hope had woken up in the middle of the night crying, and sometimes he was strangely quiet in the morning at breakfast. His very young face would frown as he tried very hard to remember what he had dreamed about the night before. And then he would get extremely frustrated when he couldn't.

Cloud thought it might be the result of the books he was reading, not the nightmares, of course, but the dreams he couldn't remember.

But maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part...

Cloud also had strange dreams that he couldn't remember, and as much as he didn't want to think about it, they almost seemed like a premonition that Sephiroth was coming, getting closer and closer to Midgar...

But that was impossible! It was… just impossible...

Cloud would never think too much about it, would never see the truth: how strong Sephiroth's blood should be to burn in delirious dreams in his own son's veins, or to make Cloud hallucinate with inhuman green eyes and abnormally silver hair. Even though it had been four years since Cloud had seen him, five since he had given birth to Hope.

And yet, something of Sephiroth remained trapped inside him, deeper than the child they had made together and he had carried. Something that had not disappeared in the placenta, that had diluted in his blood and impregnated his cells.

“I thought something might have happen at home. Or to you.”, Aerith continued. “You know that children are extremely sensitive to these things, right?”

The girl walked around the chair to arrange the petals of the flower that adorned the table, in a pink vase. It was a blue flower that Hope had chosen because it resembled the color of his mother's eyes.

"They're like flowers!”, Aerith said with a smile. “Any change in the soil and they will suffer. Besides, for them to grow even more beautiful, you have to praise them and tell them happy stories. If you tell them sad things, they will end up sad too and wilt.”

Cloud wanted to smile, but ended up not doing so in the face of Aerith's serious look.

“I'm serious.”

“I... don't know anything about flowers.”, said Cloud, trying to cover up.

“You could learn a few things from Hope.”, said Aerith, then turned her attention back to the flower, arranging it one last time. “It's because of Sephiroth, isn't it?”

”!“

Cloud couldn't hide his surprise.

“How—?”

“The flowers told me.”, she explained with a smile.

Cloud looked at her, then at the blue flower, and Aerith laughed.

“No, unfortunately I saw on the news that he had returned to Midgar. But how fantastic would it be if they could really talk and tell us these things, right?”

Cloud felt stupid for believing Aerith's talk about flowers. Of course the end of the war would have been announced on television, radio, magazines, newspapers, and all the other things Cloud had spent the last two years ignoring.

“Mm.”, Cloud finally agreed. Aerith already seemed to know everything, so there was no point in hiding things from her. “He's back in Midgar.”

“And have you talked?”

“He came to see me in the Slums a few days ago, and we talked again this morning.”, Cloud explained, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And how did it go?”, Aerith asked, motioning for Cloud to sit down, but the boy remained standing.

Cloud looked away, thinking of an answer, and what he should say to Aerith.

How did it go?

Terrifying, delirious, overwhelming, exciting, a punch in the stomach and a breath of fresh air. Cloud wanted to take those eyes off his skin forever and, at the same time, let himself be swallowed by them. It was like arguing with himself: with his 14-year-old self of Nibelheim who wanted nothing more than to surrender to Sephiroth, to let himself be carried away by the large hand that held his chin and the green eyes that desired him.

Cloud just shrugged his arms and shook his head.

“I didn't think I'd see him again.”, he admitted, as if that explained anything.

“Why not? I don't know Sephiroth, but I always had a feeling he'd come back sooner or later.”, said Aerith, whose things she knew had been told to her by Zack. Cloud had never spoken of him, which had always struck the florist as odd. Of course, Aerith also knew Cloud as Zack's friend, and Zack had told her so many things about the kid from Nibelheim, clearly in love with the hero, so much that he had trouble looking Sephiroth in the eye or saying his name.

The Cloud she had met was very different from the image Zack had built up. And what about his adoration for Sephiroth? It seemed to have cooled long ago...

Her own mother had told her how difficult it had been when her husband left for war and how happy she would have been to see him again.

Even with everything, it must not be the same for Cloud.

Aerith sat down in one of the chairs, resting both arms on the table.

“What kind of person is he?”

“Sephiroth?”

“Mm.”

What kind of person was Sephiroth...? Cloud no longer knew, perhaps he had never known. Sephiroth had shown him a tremendous amount of kindness, something Cloud had never thought he would receive from the Soldier.

Despite the distance he kept, which could almost be mistaken for coldness, Sephiroth had cared, spending months traveling between Midgar and Nibelheim to be with Cloud and then with Hope. He had taken responsibility and exercised it. He had sent money, introduced Cloud to his close friend, and defended him from another one. He had stayed with Hope so Cloud could sleep, and he had held him and kissed him. And Sephiroth had apologized to him, and asked him for a favor.

But how much of that was Sephiroth? How much did the hero let Cloud see? Zack was always telling him that Sephiroth was only like that with Cloud, but even Zack couldn't easily define Sephiroth.

“Shinra calls him a hero in the news.”, Aerith said and lowered her eyes. “How important he was and how few soldiers died thanks to him. But I don't know...”

She looked at the flower, but her expression was strangely downcast.

“They say Wutai calls him 'Demon'...”, she continued, her voice seeming to carry the weight of the sadness of the defeated. “I wonder what kind of person he is... someone who they call that...”

Cloud didn't have the answers either. He hadn't followed the war at all, and all the news reports about it seemed to serve only to sing the praises of Sephiroth and his exploits. Cloud didn't need that.

“In any case.”, Aerith lifted her face, suddenly seeming more cheerful. “I suppose... your Reunion... didn't go well...”

Cloud sighed and slumped into the chair opposite to Aerith, on the other side of the round table.

“He thinks things haven't changed since he left.”

“Have they changed?”, Aerith asked with a small smile.

“A lot...”, Cloud replied. “He doesn't know... he doesn't know anything...”

Aerith thought for a moment about what her friend meant.

“He... doesn't know about Zack, does he?”

Their eyes met, green and blue, both without Mako. Cloud nodded.

“Souka...”, murmured the girl. “And are you going to tell him?”

“He'll have to know that I've moved on.”, said Cloud, almost dryly.

“And have you?”, Aerith thought about asking, but it seemed mean. Cloud clearly had a lot to deal with, a lot of doubts tormenting him.

“Just promise me one thing, Cloud.”, Aerith reached across the table and placed her hand on Cloud's, who lifted his face to look at the girl. “No matter what happens, don't hurt Zack, okay? He adores you and would be very sad if that happened. “

Cloud looked at Aerith, not really understanding what she was asking. But faced with his friend's gaze and the request in her words, he ended up agreeing.

“I won't.”

“Great!”, Aerith smiled.

Cloud felt a little bad. Zack had broken up with Aerith because of him, even if he wouldn't admit it, to help him and to devote what little time he had outside of Soldier to him. Of course, things had evolved unexpectedly, and neither of them had really said anything to Aerith (at least, not Cloud; Zack was honest enough to have told her something). And even so, Aerith continued to support them both, even though she could easily resent Cloud.

“What did you want to ask me?”, asked the florist, suddenly remembering what had started this conversation.

“Sephiroth wants to see Hope.”, Cloud began. “But there's always the possibility that someone will see him in the Sector 7 slums.”

“Mm.”, Aerith nodded, implicitly asking Cloud to continue.

Perhaps Cloud just didn't want Sephiroth so close to home, to his life.

“I thought it would be more discreet here. And that's why I wanted to ask you—"

“If you could use my house?”, asked Aerith. Cloud just nodded. “Of course. Just let me know the day so my mom and I can be out of the way and give you some privacy.”

“Thanks.”, Cloud said.

“You're welcome, Cloud.”, Aerith said and squeezed Cloud's fingers, who was so caught up in his own problems that he only then noticed that they were still holding hands, which made him blush.

“Kawaii...”, Aerith thought.

How could they say Hope wasn't like Cloud? They had so much things in common!

But maybe Cloud wouldn't look so sad when he looked at Hope if they had a few more...

Sephiroth

“Koiinu returns.”, joked Genesis, flashing a brief smile in Zack's direction.

He had just entered the room where we were waiting for him, at Angeal's initiative, his pupil returning from a two-week mission in Junon.

“It's good to see you too, Genesis.”, Zack replied, also smiling, then looked at me and his smile widened.

Zack moved toward me, I uncrossed my arms as a smile danced on my lips.

For a moment, I thought Zack was going to hug me (the prospect wasn't that unpleasant, just a little ridiculous), but he just stopped in front of me, a broad smile on his lips. I thought that if he had a tail, it would be wagging from side to side, like a happy dog's.

“Zack.”, I greeted him, reaching out to give him a friendly pat on the forearm. “Good to see you.”

“You too.”, he replied. “Welcome back!”

“It's good to be back.”

He pointed to his own face, looking at mine.

“You let your hair grow.”

“I wasn't going to risk anyone cutting it.”, I said, and glanced at Genesis with a small smile.

“A terrible mistake.”, said Genesis, his hand gesture and tone transcending the dramatic.

“Yes, Genesis could definitely have been a hairdresser.”, joked Angeal, but Genesis didn't seem to mind.

It would have been wrong to let him touch my hair, even after everything. Hope had wrapped his small hands around strands of my hair, the same hair that fell on Cloud's face, chest, and back when I leaned over him or was on top of him (or behind him, for that matter).

It would be too intimate if Genesis touched it...

“Have you talked to Cloud yet?”, Zack asked, sounding quite concerned about the matter. “And do you know he's in Midgar now?”

“I found out when I went to Nibelheim.”

“What, really?”, he asked, frowning, then turned to Angeal. “Why didn´t you—”

“Sephiroth didn't give me the chance.”, Angeal clarified, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, I wasn't here when Sephiroth went either, there wasn't much I could do.”

“At least you found him...”, Zack said, rubbing the back of his neck. “What about Hope? Have you talked to him?”

“Soon.”

“Souka...”, Zack smiled. “He wants to be discreet, doesn't he?”

“Mm.”

“He won't let you see your own son to be discreet?”, Genesis let out a nasal laugh, then looked me straight in the eye. “Terrible father he chose for his son.”

Zack looked at Genesis almost incredulously, then at me, as if expecting a reaction or an argument.

“That's none of your business.”, I said, not really caring about Genesis’s opinion. If he were that big of a nuisance, I wouldn't be having this conversation in front of him in the first place.

“In any case, it's Cloud's decision, since he's the mother.”, Angeal interjected.

“This is not a matter for any of you to discuss.”, I said simply. Even though they were the people closest to me, it was really only a matter for me and Cloud.

“He's grown a lot, you know?”, Zack asked, smiling at me again. “You won't even recognize him!”

I'll recognize Cloud anyway. It's inevitable. Even if 10 or 20 years had actually passed.

And I would recognize Hope the same way I would recognize myself if I looked in a mirror: the same silver hair, the same green eyes.

Just as I would recognize Cloud, by his sound, his smell, the warmth of his body, and the color of his blood, no matter how much time had passed and how different he was.

Even if it's inexplicable, I'll always know.

It's proof of how deeply connected we are...

I watched the colorful flowers as we crossed the small bridge, the sound of our footsteps echoing on the wood.

There was a house ahead, more flower pots scattered by the door.

I looked away from Cloud, who was walking ahead of me. He was dressed all in black again, almost like a Soldier's uniform.

I wonder if he... still has my coat? Or did he leave it behind in Nibelheim too?

It doesn't matter, I can give him another one if he wants.

Cloud stopped and knocked on the door. We waited for a moment until a blonde woman appeared behind the glass and opened it.

“Good afternoon, Elmyra-san.”, he murmured. “I spoke with your daughter—’

“Yes, she told me.”, the woman interrupted, Elmyra was her name. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, standing at the door. “I just didn't think—”

“Oka-san.”, the brown-haired girl pushed the door open completely, standing next to the woman and clinging to her arm. “Are you ready? We should have left already!”

“Mm.”, agreed the blonde woman. “I left dinner in the oven, in case Hope is hungry.”

“We're going for a walk on the Plate, so we won't be back early.”, she continued, pointing behind her, toward the interior of the house. “Our house is all yours.”

Elmyra nodded, the girl beside her smiled, then took a step forward.

The exchange between them and Cloud didn't matter to me. I looked up at the house towering above me.

Four years... he's here. Huh, it's strange that I can feel him, the same instinct that draws me to Cloud.

I only really paid attention when the girl stood in front of me, the same smile with which she had greeted Cloud now turned in my direction.

“Hello!”, she greeted me, and it took me a moment to realize that her friendliness was directed at me.

“Hello.”, I muttered, and my voice sounded dry and cold compared to hers.

I thought about the phantom sensation of fingers in my hair.

Hope is here.

“It's a pleasure. My name is Aerith,”, I continued.

Knowing who she was helped me regain my composure. I lowered my face to look at her instead of looking at the house where my son was.

“Sephiroth.”, I replied. “I thought Zack was lying when he talked about you.”

My comment elicited a small smile from me and made her laugh.

“Moh, why does everyone think that?”, she asked. “I'll have to talk to Zack later.”

Our eyes met, hers were also green, but without Mako, as one would expect. Strangely, she was exactly how I would imagine Zack's girlfriend to be, with the same easy smile and the same lightness.

“Thanks for helping take care of Hope.”, I said, and that only made her smile more. I tilted my head with some curiosity.

“It's nothing! Hope is adorable. He really looks like Cloud, doesn't he?”

“Aerith...”, Cloud began, to get her attention, but I had already realized that my interest in her had not been misplaced.

I nodded in agreement. She returned to her mother and intertwined her arm with hers.

“It's time to go.”

“Exactly.”, her mother agreed.

“Call me if you need anything, Cloud.”, Aerith asked with another smile. “See you later.”

"Mm. See you later.”

Mother and daughter began to walk away along the path that Cloud and I had taken. He went into the house and I followed, closing the door behind me.

The sweet smell of flowers invaded my senses: they were scattered everywhere, in vases and hanging on the walls.

“They're not together anymore.”, said Cloud, and walked over to a table in the center of the room.

“No?”, I asked. I didn't know, how could I know?

“No.”, he confirmed simply.

I thought about telling him that Genesis and Angeal were still together, but there was no point in telling him, it would only be a distraction.

He began to take off his coat, shifting my focus to that.

I watched the subtle movement of his body arching, his shoulders pushed back, his long limbs through which the long sleeves slid to remove the garment.

Again, I wondered if it were my coat: wrapped around his body, my arms tight around him, as had happened on two occasions before and after Hope.

It was a terrible trait I had acquired in the war, that strange exaggerated sentimentality.

There wasn't much I could try to do now, except ignore it sometimes. But clinging to the memories I had was one of the few things I could do in Wutai, during the various downtimes and when the hours dragged on.

It was Shinra's strategy to tire the enemy physically and psychologically, to wear them down with all their strength so that they would bow down.

But that took time and patience, for us to become constantly unsheathed weapons, always on edge and ready to kill, and to rust and crack with exposure.

More than once I had found myself completing how easy it would be to end it all, to simply destroy Wutai, everything and everyone, and let the fire consume what was left.

Why didn't I do it...?

But I've spent too much time reliving memories, which is perhaps why some things I see now confuse me. Even with my memory, some details are wrong, and certain things will never be as they were in my mind.

Cloud placed his coat on the back of the chair, and only then did I realize that we had both been silent for quite some time, perhaps he too lost in thought.

I remembered his smaller body under my coat, leaning back, resting against my chest, between my arms. The sound of his soft breathing, his sleeping face, his chest rising and falling slowly.

The image was so vivid that I could almost feel the warmth and the smell of milk.

I took a step toward Cloud just as he turned to me, my lips parting slowly.

“Cloud...”

“No...”

I fell silent, and so did he, after we started speaking at the same time. Cloud crossed his arms and looked away, a conflicted expression on his face.

“Oka-san!”

Oka-san...?

We both turned toward the sound almost simultaneously.

The thin voice was accompanied by hurried footsteps echoing on the stairs. Then he appeared, his hand gripping the railing, two steps from the top.

I felt my chest tremble as I looked at him. The vision of fire behind my retinas blurred him for a moment, quickly disappearing.

Hope, my son. My deep connection to Cloud. As long as we both existed, the other would never be alone.

He looked like I must have looked at that age, short silver hair, wide green eyes turned toward me, the soft features of his small face clouded with surprise.

That was Cloud, the expressions, what he felt totally exposed on his face. And the fact that, even with my appearance, he seemed so normal.

He was wearing a blue shirt with a chocobo on it and darker-colored shorts. There was no sign of needles, syringes, blood, or Mako.

He was just a child, young and looking almost fragile, something I would never think of myself.

“Hope...”, Cloud murmured.

His green eyes closed for a moment as he blinked, then opened them again.

But he didn't look at his Mother who called his name, where his eyes almost always rested when he was a child.

“Oto-san...”, he murmured and blinked a few more times.

Then his surprised expression disappeared and his young face changed, his eyes narrowing and his lower lip trembling.

Next to me, Cloud shifted in his place, still saying nothing.

“Oto-san...!”

Hope began to cry, quickly descended the last few steps, and ran toward me with open arms.

The idea of someone else touching me was strange (when I thought Zack was going to do it, it was simply absurd), but it was different if it was one of them.

I dropped to one knee to reach him. Hope looked so small and delicate, the same things I thought of Cloud when I met him in Nibelheim.

I instinctively opened my arms at the last second and he threw himself against my chest, I didn't even flinch at the impact of his small body on mine.

“Oto-san!”, he exclaimed, still crying, speaking quickly, in an almost frantic tone. “I knew you'd come back! I told Oka-san!”

I wrapped my arms around him and felt him shiver as he cried, his small hands squeezing my shoulders.

Does Hope remember me? I thought—

“I knew it! I knew it!”, he sobbed, and I bent down further and leaned forward to hold him tighter, pressing him against my chest.

“Hope...”, I murmured, and he wrapped his arms around my neck and squeezed it, his fingers clinging to my hair.

A sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes, holding him and letting him hug me.

It was strange that the feeling was so familiar, so comfortable, even though the last time I had held Hope he was just a baby. And he shouldn't remember me, and I shouldn't remember his fingers in my hair so well, even though his grip was stronger now.

“Oto-san... I knew you didn’t leave us...”, he sobbed. “I knew it...”

“I would never abandon you.”, I said, and the war seemed even more ridiculous to me at that moment.

Everyone should have died. Wutai, Shinra, so that I could have returned sooner.

Hope is clinging to me even though my hands are covered in blood. It wouldn't have mattered if even more had been spilled.

How does he remember... when Cloud didn't tell him about me?

Maybe it was for the best, I see now, with Hope crying in my arms.

So he wouldn't feel that I had left them. A child couldn't understand war. A child shouldn't understand war.

Hope pulled back a little, his arms sliding off my neck, one hand clutching his shirt, wiping away his tears with the back of the other hand.

I continued to watch him and slowly reached out to touch his cheek. Hope didn't pull away, he just moved his arm, letting me brush my thumb across the corner of one of his eyes, wiping away the tears stuck to his eyelashes, regretting not having taken off my gloves to touch him directly.

Hope sniffed.

“I want to tell you things. A-and and the book. And the flowers. And—"

“Mm.”, I agreed and stood up again. Hope's eyes were still stained with tears, but he was smiling and seemed happy. I glanced briefly at Cloud, not wanting to take my eyes off my son for even a second. He was smiling too, his lips bent in a faint curve.

The next few hours became a blur in my mind. Hope pulled me along, smiling, almost laughing. He reminded me of Cloud, even though he had my features.