Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The ambulance reached the hospital fast. Everyone moved hurriedly to rush the bleeding man to the operation theater.

Joshua ran along with the stretcher, holding Jeonghan's bleeding hands in his. He sobbed, feeling Jeonghan's pulse getting weaker by every second. He wanted to stay with him longer but the door to the operation theater closed on his face and all he could do was just stand there and stare from the outside.

He put his hand on the glass, the same hand that was now coated in Jeonghan's blood, watching the doctors rush to operate the older one. 

More tears escaped his eyes profusely as he sobbed outside.

Joshua closed his eyes and flashbacks came flooding into his mind in one go. How it all started, how he first met Jeonghan, how they reached here. If only he had realized sooner just how much Jeonghan loved him, this day wouldn't have come.

Jeonghan wouldn't have been fighting for his life if it weren't for Joshua's cold heart and his childish ego.

It was twelve years ago. When it all began. When Jeonghan was twelve years old and Joshua was only eight.

Flashback:

Jeonghan was an only child who had lost his mother as soon as he was born. His mother was never supposed to carry a child for her weak health. But she did because she didn't have the heart to kill Jeonghan when he was still in her womb. 

And now here was Jeonghan, left with a single father. The father who was too busy with his business to even look at the lonely child without a mother, let alone care for him. Because his mother did not live after giving birth to him.

Sometimes, Jeonghan wished he was not born. What was even the purpose of life? 

He woke up, had breakfast, went to school, came back home and repeated the same routine every day. Even at school, he didn't have anyone to call as his friend because somehow everyone was either walking one step ahead of him or a step behind him, never along with him, never matching his pace.

During parents' meetings at school, when everybody would be busy with their parents and meeting the teachers, Jeonghan would be the only child without a parent, sitting alone, blankly staring at everyone.

A teacher noticed him and came up to him, asking,

“What are you doing here alone, Jeonghan-ah? Where are your parents?” 

Jeonghan looked at him blankly, “I don't have a mother,” he murmured

The teacher looked taken aback by the blunt answer, eyes softening,

“Then, what about your father, dear?”

Jeonghan looked away, speaking coldly, “He doesn't have time for me,”

The teacher sighed, seemingly disappointed by the answer. He patted Jeonghan's shoulder, “Don't be sad, my dear. I'm sure your dad loves you. He probably had an important job to take care of,”

Jeonghan only nodded, he didn't bother to correct the teacher that his father was always like this. He never had time for him.

The next day, that same teacher was writing a math problem on the board during one of Jeonghan's classes. He called for Jeonghan's name to solve the problem. Once, twice, thrice but still no answer.

The teacher frowned.

When he came closer to take a look at what the younger boy was doing, he saw that Jeonghan seemed busy with writing something in his diary. 

The teacher recalled seeing Jeonghan carry this diary everywhere. 

He went a bit closer to take a peek at the page to see what the younger was writing with so much focus.

‘I should have never been born. I have no one to call my own in this world’

The teacher's eyes softened. This child was definitely going through something. Not only was he always gloomy but also he was now thinking about life like this. No child should ever have thoughts as dark as this.

The teacher gently put his hand on Jeonghan's shoulder, bringing the child's attention to him.

“It’s not like that, Jeonghan-ah. No one is born to be alone and no one is born without a purpose in their life. God created everyone's significant other. Maybe yours is just somewhere out there, waiting for you. All you have to do is be patient and find them soon enough. Then, you won't be lonely anymore,”

Significant other. The words seemed to ring a bell and left a prominent effect on Jeonghan's mind as Jeonghan kept thinking about it the whole day.

His significant other? Somewhere out there? If they were, then Jeonghan had to find them soon.

During lunch break, Jeonghan sat on top of one of the stairs, watching other kids his age play and run. He chewed on his bubblegum absentmindedly, the word significant other kept running inside his brain like a broken record.

He saw a bunch of kids coming his way. They were about to walk by his side.

Tilting his head, he took out the chewing gum from his mouth and placed it on his side, on the road.

Randomly, he decided, whoever would step on it, that person would be his significant other from now on.

It was a silly way to decide that but nothing about Jeonghan had been normal since the beginning.

All the students passed by but Jeonghan only kept his eyes on that one pair of skinny legs that just stepped on his gum. 

Jeonghan smiled.

The kid stopped on his track and tried to get rid of the gum, irritatedly wiping it on the grass.

Jeonghan got up from his spot and approached the boy, lifting his hand up for a handshake.

“Hi, I'm Jeonghan. What's your name?” 

The kid looked at him in confusion, pretty eyes staring up at him due to their height difference, before looking at Jeonghan's hand skeptically.

Hesitantly, the kid held his hand, shaking it, “I’m Joshua,”

Jeonghan took a step closer, smiling softly, “So, Joshua. From now on, you are my friend,”

The frown on Joshua's face only deepened hearing that all of a sudden from a random older kid, “Why? Why should I be your friend?” he asked, still trying to get rid of the gum.

“Because you just stepped on my gum. I placed it there and whoever stepped on it is supposed to be my friend,”

Joshua's cute doe eyes widened in shock and anger comically as he pointed his tiny finger at Jeonghan accusingly, “You?! You are the one who put that gum on the road? Because of you now it's stuck on my favorite shoe,” Joshua fumed, “I’ll never be your friend!” he declared, glaring at Jeonghan before running off to who knows where.

Jeonghan stood there, smiling. He did not care about whatever Joshua said. He was going to be his friend no matter what.

From then on, it looked like Jeonghan was everywhere Joshua went. He'd be beside Joshua's classroom, standing by the window and waving at him. He'd be there following Joshua around when it was lunch break. He would even bid Joshua goodbye daily when the classes were over. 

Jeonghan was stuck with Joshua the same way his gum was stuck on Joshua's favorite shoe.

No matter how many times Joshua told him to leave him alone, the older guy just wouldn't listen.

One day, during one of Joshua's classes, Jeonghan was outside in the corridor once again, waving at him. Irritated, Joshua glared at him and changed his seat, not noticing how the teacher saw this move of his and got angry.

No kid was supposed to change their seats without the teacher's permission and this action of Joshua was heavily reprimanded by the teacher.

Back then, hitting the students was allowed in schools in order to discipline them and that meant eight year old Joshua had to deal with the consequences of his reckless action inside the classroom.

The teacher punished him by hitting on his palm with a stick multiple times. 

That day, it was Joshua who got hit but somehow the pain was felt by Jeonghan more who saw this entire scene unfold from outside of the class with angry eyes. 

He wrote a new entry in his diary that day.

‘Whoever dares to hurt my Joshua will face consequences,’

The next day, the teacher who had hit Joshua saw that his bike seat was torn apart by something sharp. And the one who was tearing it open with a blade was Jeonghan.

News traveled fast and Jeonghan's dad was called by the Headmaster because of his unacceptable behavior inside the school premises.

“Mr. Yoon, this is a serious matter. You being busy with your work too much has left your only son lonely and has left a negative effect on his mental health. He doesn't behave like the rest of the kids and as a result, he has trouble getting along with his classmates. Yesterday, he did something completely unacceptable. I think you should change the school and provide more care to him. A change of environment might be helpful,”

Jeonghan's father nodded his head and said, “I understand, Mr. Kim. I recently transferred to South Korea. So, I was about to pull him out of this school soon anyway. I will get him admitted to a new school there and pay more attention,”

The words changing countries and school made Jeonghan widen his eyes, leaving him frozen on his spot. What about his Joshua if he left now? That was the only fear he had.

After receiving the transfer certificate, Jeonghan walked slowly towards the car where his father was waiting for him. Jeonghan felt his heart getting heavier with every step. He was finally out of this school. He would leave America for South Korea in a few days, leaving everything behind, leaving the most important person in his life — Joshua.

Jeonghan heard someone calling him from behind. 

“Jeonghan! Jeonghan!”

Jeonghan turned around, frowning. But his frown disappeared immediately as soon as he noticed who it was.

It was his Joshua. Jeonghan turned around properly. Time seemed to slow down as he saw his only friend running towards him like a puppy running towards its owner. A smile made its way on his lips.

Joshua came and put something on his hand. Jeonghan realized it was a pack of bubble gum.

Joshua grinned happily, “Here. They are yours. I’m so happy that you are finally leaving, Jeonghan. No one will disturb me anymore,”

Jeonghan's smile disappeared. He watched as Joshua waved him goodbye with his tiny hand and ran away, not aware of the storm inside Jeonghan's chest.

“Jeonghan, hurry up, son! We're waiting,” Jeonghan's father called him.

Jeonghan watched Joshua's disappearing back as he got inside the car.

That day, he left the school and the country. But he made a promise to himself that no matter what happens, he will find Joshua again and make him his friend. His significant other. Joshua was his purpose in life and he was not about to lose Joshua to anything or anyone.

After eleven years, Jeonghan grew up to be more mature, better than the old him where he used to be so innocent, so naive, so obedient. But somehow maturing didn't mean becoming a good person. He turned into something or someone he no longer recognized. Gone was the calm and quiet kid from eleven years ago and currently at the age of 23, he was as good as a spoiled brat. 

Gang activities, getting into fights, driving recklessly, smoking cigarettes, weeds, drinking alcohol, name any delinquent behavior and he has done it all. Having a rich father meant he could get out of any trouble any day any time.

Everything about him had changed. 

The only thing that remained unchanged about him was his unconditional, irrevocable love for Joshua Hong.

For eleven years, the only thing constant about him was his desire to get Joshua back. Ever since the day he left America and came to Korea, his every single entry in the diary has been about Joshua.

His obsession with Joshua only grew with the difference between their time and places.

Growing up, he didn't realize when that simple feeling of wanting to have Joshua as his friend turned to something more and he started imagining Joshua as his lover.

Right. He loved Joshua. More than anything else in this world.

That's why, his face lit up and a smile appeared on his face as soon as he got the message from one of his informants that Joshua was about to transfer to a university in South Korea soon. 

He took a puff out of the cigarette he was smoking and exhaled the smoke, eyes closing.

His love was coming back to him. In his arms.

His phone rang indicating his father was calling him. Jeonghan smiled, planning what to do next.

He picked up the call, “Hello, dad,” he greeted, lying down on his bed.

“What is this, Jeonghan? I told you not to create any mess again. You again broke someone's leg and now they are asking for compensation. Just yesterday, you almost killed a guy and today you got into another fight. If you keep going like this—

“Dad, I want to go to the university,” Jeonghan cut his father off, bringing up what was the most important at that moment.

“What? A university? All of a sudden? Every time I got you into a new college or a university, you either failed the subjects or got yourself kicked out after getting into fights. Why do you want to go to a university now?”

Jeonghan smiled, taking another puff out of his cigarette, “It’s nothing, dad. I found my purpose back. My Joshuji is coming back to me. I want to get into the same university as him.”

“What’s the point, Jeonghan? You are always causing so many troubles. Even if I do get you into the same universe as Joshua's, you'll get yourself kicked out again,” his father's stressed voice came from the other side. 

Jeonghan chuckled, “Not this time, dad. Not when I will change myself completely for the sake of Joshua. No one will point a finger at someone who is perfect from his head down to his toe, with no flaws.”

His dad asked him what he meant by that but for now, Jeonghan told him not to worry about anything and just do what he asked.

Ending the call, Jeonghan closed his eyes, relishing in that feeling of happiness.

“I will see you soon, Joshuji,”

Within a week, his admission to the university Joshua was transferring to was completed. Sometimes Jeonghan felt glad that his dad was loaded with money and could get him anything he wanted. At least the old man was of one use.

Jeonghan now looked like a totally different person now, with his new look, glasses, neat hairstyle, and decent clothes. He looked like a gentleman.

This is what he meant when he said he'd be different this time in this university. Not even a month had passed and everyone was already swooning over him and calling him perfect.

You could say he had earned himself a reputation and a title by now. 

Mr. Perfect.

Everyone adored him, the students, the teachers, the staff, even the stray cats around the campus.

He had created this image of himself where everyone knew of him as this one gentle, innocent, intelligent, kind hearted and nerdy kid. Someone who could do no wrong. Someone who was not capable of making any mistakes.

He still smoked and drank alcohol. But he did it so sneakily that no one had a single inkling of it. In the washroom, he hid his stack of cigarettes and the mini bottles of alcohol. After having his input, he used mint and other fresheners to get rid of any unwanted stenches on his body before continuing with the classes. 

Girls and boys alike were crazy about him. He didn't know if it was trendy or not but somehow this made up image of him being this decent and intelligent guy was causing girls and guys to fall for him left and right. Daily, he received hundreds of confessions in his locker.

Jeonghan paid attention to none of that. He was too focused on being the perfect guy and waiting for his Joshuji to come back to him. 

His plan was set. Joshua would be the only person to see his true self. Other than Joshua, everyone would see this perfect version of himself.

In front of the daycare center where a lot of babies were waiting for their parents to come and pick them up, Joshua played with some of the babies. They were barely four or five. And they were so cute. Joshua always liked to interact with babies.

Joshua smiled, holding their tiny hands and telling them stories.

He took a look at his watch and saw that he still had half an hour left before his classes started.

Bidding the babies goodbye, he stood up and took a few pictures of them. It was a habit. He liked to preserve memories and took pictures of every new person he met.

Waving at them goodbye one last time, he turned around and waited for someone to give him a lift in their car.

There was only one university in this city and students usually used this road to reach the campus. So Joshua was confident someone would give him a lift.

A car stopped in front of him very soon. Inside, there was a guy who didn't look much older than himself.

“Hi! Are you also going to Hwangnam University?” Joshua asked, smiling brightly.

The guy surprisingly nodded, making Joshua's eyes lit up in joy.

“Great! We're going to the same place. Let's go!”

Joshua quickly got inside the car and put on his seatbelt. He introduced himself,

“I’m Joshua. Majoring in psychology at Hwangnam University. You?” 

The guy looked like he was in a trance, looking at Joshua unblinking before Joshua waved his hand in front of his face to get his attention. Hearing Joshua's question, he looked at Joshua properly.

“Wonwoo,” the guy said, “Jeon Wonwoo. I’m in the engineering department.”

Joshua made an oh sound, nodding his head.

Lifting up his camera, he pointed it towards Wonwoo.

“Smile please,” Joshua grinned, clicking a photo of the surprised man. 

Wonwoo seemed taken aback but he didn't say anything. He only smiled, letting Joshua do whatever he wanted.

Joshua explained sheepishly that he liked to take pictures of every new person he met. 

“This is my first day at Hwangnam University actually,” Joshua started, “You must be wondering why I'm joining in the middle of the year. I'm from the USA actually. I recently transferred here after uhm.. some familial drama. They also transferred to South Korea. But they live in the countryside and they didn't want to let me come here. But well this was my dream university and I had to put up a lot of fight to come here,”

Joshua blabbered on and on about his life and how he came here. 

While he spoke animatedly, Wonwoo looked at him with interest through the rearview mirror. 

The car stopped in front of the university. Joshua turned to Wonwoo, giving him a huge smile.

“Thank you so much, Wonwoo. I seriously owe you one!” getting out of the car, Joshua waved at him goodbye.

“Bye! See you next time!”

Wonwoo tilted his head, staring at the pretty guy's back disappearing into the crowd. The boy embodied the term sunshine, all smiley and talking animatedly. 

Wonwoo poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, he was definitely interested.

Inside the principal's office, the principal talked to a girl who was both his student and his niece.

The girl looked uninterested in whatever he was speaking and chewed on a gum mindlessly, drawing little patterns with her fingers on the table.

“What do you feel like doing when you're the happiest, Julie?” the principal asked.

“I feel like hugging Jeonghan tightly,” the girl said, enunciating the words slowly. Her expression was still blank but there's yearning evident in her tone in the way she said Jeonghan's name.

“Oh then what do you feel like doing when you are very sad?” the principal asked, changing the question.

“I feel like hugging Jeonghan even more tightly,” Julie replied with the same blank look. 

The principal shook his head in exasperation. This girl was hopeless. He has been trying to get his niece to get over her crush on the university's golden boy Jeonghan for the past one hour. But to no avail. This girl was seriously down bad.

Right at that moment, a knock was heard on the door. 

“Hello, Sir. May I come in?” a soft voice came from the door.

The principal, looking away from the girl, told him to come in. 

Joshua walked in, looking at the girl in confusion. She was chewing on bubble gum, resting her cheek on her palm and looking uninterested as ever. 

“Uhm I'm Joshua. The new tansferee from America,” he introduced himself, staring at the girl. 

“Oh, you're Joshua! Your dad talked to me over the phone a week ago. Hahaha! Welcome, welcome. Myself, Mr. Byun Baekhyun, PhD in psychology.” the man introduced himself.

Joshua looked at the man in awe. Wow. Their principal had a PhD in the same subject he was majoring in. He was so cool.

Joshua looked at the man in awe. Wow. Their principal had a PhD in the same subject he was majoring in. He was so cool.

Joshua's eyes averted to the girl's direction, curious about her presence inside the principal's office.

“Uh, who is she?” 

The principal saw his confusion and laughed, waving his hand dismissively, “Oh, that's my niece. She has a new mental problem that is unable to stop thinking about her crush. I was trying to treat her illness,”

“Crush?” Joshua repeated. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

The girl blew her bubblegum and sighed dreamily at the mention of her crush. No doubt thinking about the target of her affection again.

“Yes, crush. She has a crush on the most perfect man in this university,”

The principal then explained that there was this one guy in their university that almost every student had a crush on. He was the brightest student in the psychology department, well disciplined, smart and the epitome of all virtues.

Joshua looked like he didn't believe a guy like that really existed.

But the principal still continued, saying that the guy was everyone's dream man and top of all of his classes. 

“Aren’t I right, Julie?” the principal, Mr. Byun asked to which the girl just sighed more dreamily, nodding. 

Joshua was now seriously curious about this person. They told him almost everything about this guy, except for his name.

“So what is this guy's name you're talking about?” Joshua raised a brow.

The principal chuckled, 

“Yoon Jeonghan. Even his name sounds so cool, doesn't it? Hahahaha.”

Joshua nodded. He would keep that in mind. 

For now, he just grinned and raised his phone upwards to click a picture with the principal.

“Sir, say cheese! Julie, look at the camera!”

Mr. Byun didn't even question Joshua about why he was taking their pictures. 

Mr. Byun stood on his tiptoes and pouted at the camera, giving several poses. Something that Joshua found funny and shocking because he didn't expect their principal to be this excited about taking a picture. Julie, on the other hand, only smiled at the camera, squishing Joshua's cheeks. 

After taking a picture, Joshua looked at them.

“Okay, thank you. So…. where's this Mr. Perfect you were talking about?” 

Joshua looked around the classroom. Every student was busy gossiping with each other and laughing at jokes among themselves. His eyes searched for the dark haired male he heard about. He recalled what Julie had told him about Jeonghan. 

He sits at the back of the class.

Joshua looked and there he was. A guy at the back with glasses, reading a book.

A golden student. With a goldfish that he always carries with himself. Julie had said. 

Joshua saw the goldfish kept in a glass jar right beside Jeonghan. Despite the glasses and nerdy get up, he indeed looked very handsome. Joshua must admit.

Another student passed by Jeonghan's desk and accidentally hit the glass jar containing the goldfish. Joshua's eyes widened and he was about to call for Jeonghan to alert him.

But to his surprise, Jeonghan swiftly caught the jar before it could reach the ground. His senses are sharper than a knife otherwise who would explain this behavior of him?

Joshua stared at the man in awe.

He let out a small sigh of relief, an amused chuckle left his mouth. Totally in awe of the male. Jeonghan went back to studying after catching the jar, unbothered by his surroundings and keeping to himself.

Joshua was clearly impressed. They were not lying about this student being perfect.

He lifted up his phone to take a picture of Jeonghan.

However, Jeonghan decided to put his book in front of his face right at that exact moment, covering his face before Joshua could take a picture.

Joshua frowned, disappointed. 

“Shit!” he muttered, stomping his feet. He shook his head in disappointment. 

Okay, maybe another time. 

Joshua found out from some of the students that Jeonghan was usually in the library when there's no class. So, he went to find the male there during his break.

He looked around the library for a bit, eyes searching for the head full of luscious dark brown hair. Joshua's eyes met with Julie's who was sitting on one of the tables. He waved at her, smiling.

Afterwards, he went back to searching for Jeonghan.

“Come on, where is he?” Joshua mumbled to himself, looking around impatiently.

His face lightened up when he finally spotted the male.

Quickly, he ran to Jeonghan who was busy getting books from different shelves.

“Hi! I'm Joshua. I'm a new transferee from the USA. We're in the same class and department, and I heard a lot about you!” 

Joshua gushed, following Jeonghan around from behind since the other male didn't even spare him a glance and kept walking, minding his own business. 

Joshua continued to speak with his phone camera open. He was determined to take a picture of Jeonghan this time.

“Everyone said that you were literally flawless and after seeing you, I really do understand why they said that. You're at the top of our class. You play sports so well. You even have a full time scholarship. You're so intelligent, Jeonghan!” Joshua complimented, trying his best to get Jeonghan's attention who wouldn't stop moving from one shelf to another to get books.

Joshua ran to stand in front of him, blocking his way as he opened his arms.

“Wait! I'm taking pictures of every new person I'm meeting with in this university and I've taken almost all of their pictures. Only you are left! If you don't mind, can I take your picture, pretty please—

Joshua's words got cut off when Jeonghan, to his utter shock and surprise, suddenly leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. 

Joshua literally froze on his spot as the other male moved his lips against his and invaded his mouth. The time seemed to stop and his brain short circuited at that exact moment. Mind going completely blank. 

Joshua was too shocked to even move from his place as Jeonghan kissed him and bit on his lips one last time before walking away with his stack of books in his hands, leaving Joshua standing there like a statue, in a state of mess. 

Joshua remained standing there, unmoved and frozen. His eyes wide open in shock.

W-What.. just happened?

Touching his lips, Joshua looked around the library and saw that everyone was busy in their own world. 

He realized none of them had just witnessed Jeonghan kissing him. 

Joshua held his head in shock, processing the kiss, his first kiss, “What the fuck just happened? Jeonghan…..he k-kissed me.”

Chapter Text

Joshua washed his lips on the basin again and again. He rubbed his poor lips so aggressively, as if it would erase the traces left on his lips from Jeonghan's kiss. The kiss that Joshua never had seen coming in a million years.

What kind of weirdo did that? Who even kissed someone at their first meeting? Joshua didn't even know Jeonghan until today. 

Why did Jeonghan do this? What was his purpose? Everyone said that Jeonghan was the nicest and the most proper student ever. Then why?

So many questions were running wildly inside Joshua's mind.

Angrily, Joshua strode to the cafeteria.

It was break time. Everyone was minding their own business, laughing amongst groups, throwing crackers at each other, some students sleeping on the table.

Joshua spotted Julie on one of the tables, surrounded by her other friends. He went over to Julie.

The girl had her laptop open in front of her.

“Julie,” Joshua called out her name, hoping it would get her out of whatever trance she was in. 

As she didn't respond immediately, Joshua got impatient and took a peek at her laptop to see what she was looking at so intently.

Only to find out that it was Jeonghan. Of fucking course it was Jeonghan again. Julie and her hopeless crush on that weirdo.

“Julie, listen to me,” Joshua called out again, “Jeonghan… He kissed me today.”

Seeing that it still got him no reaction, he grabbed Julie's shoulder and shook her a few times, furrowing his eyebrows, “Are you even listening to me? Jeonghan kissed me today, Julie. In the library. I-I don't know why. It was so out of nowhere—”

Julie let out a long sigh, chewing on her bubblegum. There was still no reaction on her face to Joshua's utter shock as she said, “You are not the only one, Shua.”

Joshua's eyes twitched in confusion.

“Not the only one? What do you mean I'm not the only one who Jeonghan kissed? Does he go around kissing everybody?!”

“No, you dumb boy. What I mean is you're not the only one who dreamt of getting kissed by Jeonghan,” Julie sighed once again, probably imagining Jeonghan kissing her. Joshua shuddered at the mere thought, “We all have been there at one part of our lives, Shua. Everybody wants Jeonghan,”

Joshua stomped his feet in frustration. Why was nobody taking him seriously here?

“No! You don't get it, Julie. He really kissed me! On my lips!” Joshua explained himself, “I was only trying to take his picture but then he leaned forward all of a sudden and kissed me.” 

Julie chuckled slightly, twirling her hair in between her fingers, “Suzy, notice how our Joshua also fell for Jeonghannie on his first day of University. Jeonghan is just so attractive, nobody can resist his charms,” she gushed to one of her friends on the table.

The one who was called Suzy nodded, sighing dreamily, similar to how Julie behaved usually at the mere mention of Jeonghan's name.

Joshua wanted to tear his hair apart in frustration.

“Why can't you guys just believe me that Jeonghan really kissed me?! Do you think I am just making this up? Do you think this is just my imagination? That I'm making things up—” 

“No. This is called the first stage of hallucinations,” all of a sudden, Mr. Byun’s voice interrupted Joshua's outburst. 

Joshua had no idea where their silly principal came from but what he just said made him even more confused than he already was.

“What? Hallucinations?”

“Yes, hallucinations. This is a mental illness. You're showing the first stage of hallucinations,” Mr. Byun said, chuckling lightheartedly. Like it was not making Joshua go crazy.

“What do you mean I am hallucinating, Sir?” Joshua fumed.

“Of course, you're hallucinating. In psychology, hallucinations are sensory perceptions experienced without a real external stimulus. The same as you thinking that Jeonghan kissed you even though it never really happened,” Mr. Byun explained, grabbing a juice and sipping on it.

“Why are you not believing me, Sir? I'm not hallucinating. Jeonghan really kissed me today. Why would I make this thing up if I don't even like him like that?” Joshua reasoned out, a crease on his forehead. 

He didn't understand why it was so hard to believe for everyone.

“It’s okay, Joshua. The sooner you accept that you too have fallen for Jeonghan just like everyone else here, the easier it would be for you to get used to it. Hahahaha! It's fine my boy. Don't stress over it.”

Joshua looked away, glaring at the innocent cup placed on the table beside him. He refused to accept that it was just hallucinations when he could still feel the phantom touch of Jeonghan's lips on his.

Cheeks red in embarrassment and anger, Joshua bit his lower lip in frustration and stomped away from that spot. He was no longer in the mood to explain himself.

It seemed that this entire university was crazy as hell. 

Jeonghan sat on top of one of the steps of a stair again, chewing on bubble gum lazily. The same flavor that eight year old Joshua had given him eleven years ago. 

Jeonghan didn't like bubble gums that much. He was not a kid anymore. But just because of Joshua, he never stopped buying the same flavour again and again even if he no longer liked bubble gums. If it meant that he would get to feel a bit closer to his first and last love by doing so, he'd do it again.

A bunch of students were coming towards his direction from the back. The sound of laughter and chattering filled the hallway. 

Without turning around, Jeonghan already had a feeling that Joshua was among the crowd.

A small smirk made its way on his lips.

He decided to play the same game of fate again.

Taking the bubble gum out of his mouth, he placed it on one of the steps, waiting for it to stick to the shoe of his desired person.

He waited. 

Everyone walked past him one by one. But no one stepped on the gum. 

No one except one. A black coloured heeled boot that stopped a few metres away from Jeonghan. The person wearing those shoes rubbed their shoes on the floor irritatedly.

Jeonghan took in the sight of the person who just stepped on his gum. Again. 

Cute button nose.

Glossy plump lips tinted pink which were now puckered into a displeased pout.

Cat-like eyes with natural aegyo-sal.

Eyebrows furrowed adorably.

Jeonghan smirked in triumph. Maybe it was really fate — Joshua and him finding each other again and again in every place, in every decade, no matter what circumstances they were in.

“The stickiness of a gum doesn't go away that easily, Jisoo.”

Joshua turned to him in confusion, not expecting someone to call him all of a sudden. But as soon as he noticed who it was, his frown turned into a glare.

“I don't want to talk to you,” the younger one huffed before looking away.

However, his brows furrowed again in confusion when he realized that Jeonghan had just called him by his Korean name. No one knew his Korean name except for just his close friends and family.

“Wait a minute,” Joshua turned to him in shock, “How do you know my Korean name? I don't remember telling you this before.”

Jeonghan didn't reply. He only got up from that spot, tucked his hand inside his pocket and to Joshua's utter surprise, started whistling.

It was a sweet tune. Totally not unpleasant to the ear.

But what got Joshua paying attention to it properly was the feeling that rushed through his mind after hearing it. The tune sounded so familiar for some reasons.

Joshua looked down, trying to recall where he had heard this melodious tune before, the one Jeonghan was whistling now.

“This tune….” Joshua mumbled, trying to rack his brain to make him remember where he heard it before.

At that moment, Jeonghan lifted his hand, like offering a handshake of sorts.

Joshua looked at his hand curiously and then at his face. It took Joshua another moment to process the handshake before recognition flashed across his face. His eyes widened in horror as soon as he realized who this guy was.

“Oh my god…you?” he said in disbelief.

Jeonghan only smirked, enjoying Joshua's inner turmoil at finally recognizing him.

Joshua ran a hand through his hair, cursing underneath his breath.

“Fuck!” He looked back at Jeonghan, pointing his finger at the older man accusingly, “You are that same crazy guy from middle school who used to follow me around everywhere and wouldn't leave me alone even for a second, aren't you? You are that weirdo who ruined my favorite shoe by placing that gum on the stairs. What are you doing here now?”

Joshua's outburst and crisis only made Jeonghan smile harder as he chuckled.

“You wound me, Joshuji,” Jeonghan spoke softly, pretending to be hurt, “Is crazy the only thing you remember about me?”

Joshuji. That nickname. That same fucking nickname that Jeonghan used to call him by when they were kids. Jeonghan used to tell him that since Joshua was his only friend, he would give him a special nickname that only he'd call Joshua by. 

Joshua never approved it but somehow Jeonghan didn't live by anyone's rules except his own. He did what he wanted without listening to anyone.

And right now he was ruining Joshua's university time too like he did for a few months during his middle school.

Joshua took a deep breath, controlling his anger before taking a step closer to Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan was standing there patiently like a good kid without moving even though Joshua looked like he was about to scratch Jeonghan’s face and pluck out his eyes any moment.

“Listen here, you idiot” Joshua started, “I told you this even before and I will tell you this now again. I don't want to have anything to do with you. I don't like you and I never will! You stay the fuck away from me, do you understand?” 

Jeonghan didn't react. He only smiled slightly, his face and posture perfectly calm as he replied, “But how do you expect me to stay away from you so easily, Joshuji? When I have spent the last eleven years thinking about only you? When you're the only thing in my life that keeps me going? For the last eleven years, there was not a single day that I didn't think about you, that I didn't imagine all the ways I could have you in my life again,” Jeonghan took a step closer to him as well, continuing, “So tell me Joshuji. Do you really think I would just give up on my love of eleven years so easily?

“Love?” Joshua repeated in disbelief, “What love are you talking about, Jeonghan. We were literally kids then. You knew nothing about love back then nor did I. Stop sugarcoating everything and just accept the fact that you were and you still are nothing but just a nuisance to me. A weirdo who won't leave me alone despite my rejection,”

There was an unreadable expression on Jeonghan's face now after hearing Joshua's words. For one second, Joshua thought that he saw a flash of hurt cross Jeonghan’s eyes but Joshua could be wrong. Jeonghan was shameless. There was no way he would be hurt that easily by words that were nothing but truth.

Jeonghan sighed, speaking again.

“Say whatever you want, Joshuji. But you have to admit that we were childhood sweethearts and I never overstepped my boundaries. And even now, if there's someone who can love you unconditionally, it's me. You won't be able to get rid of me so easily,”

“Love me unconditionally, my ass,” Joshua scoffed, “You kissed me in the library. And now the entire university think that I'm hallucinating,”

“How is any of it—them not believing in your words —my fault? I did not tell them to not trust you,” Jeonghan reasoned out innocently.

“Well, why did you even kiss me in the first place? None of this would have happened if you had just behaved like a civilized human being instead of jumping on me on the first chance that you got after eleven years,”

“It’s not like I planned to kiss you. I only got tempted to do it when you didn't stop pestering me for a picture,”

“You could have just said no?!” 

“I can't say no to you, Joshuji.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Jeonghan only shrugged, looking completely composed and unbothered. As if he wasn't getting under Joshua's skin for the past few minutes. As if he wasn't completely messing with Joshua's mind.

It's like Joshua was the only one who was so affected by this entire conversation when the actual problem was standing in front of him like an innocent naive boy.

It pissed Joshua off so much. Ugh this fucking bastard.

“You!” Joshua raised his hand but stopped himself from doing anything that he would regret later. Taking a step back, he exhaled, looking Jeonghan dead in the eye, “Just you wait, Jeonghan. I will prove to the whole university soon that this so called Mr. Perfect image that you have established is nothing but just a facade. Mark my words,”

With that, Joshua glared at him one last time before walking away, muttering something underneath his breath that Jeonghan wasn't quite able to catch but he was pretty sure that Joshua was cursing his entire generation.

Jeonghan smiled, leaning against the wall.

It's fine. Joshua could curse and scream at him all he wanted. Even Joshua's curses sounded sweet to Jeonghan's ears when they were directed towards him. At least Jeonghan knew that he consumed Joshua's thoughts to no limit.

It was enough for now. It had to be.

The next few days, Joshua avoided Jeonghan like the plague. He was in no mood to deal with that weird bastard again.

Besides, all of his friends already believed that he had some sort of a crush on Jeonghan and he was also apparently daydreaming about Jeonghan kissing him.

The thought itself was enough to make Joshua want to tear all of his hair from his head. They would continuously tease Joshua about Jeonghan. And he was honestly getting sick of it.

Around that time, he got closer to Wonwoo. The same guy who had given him a lift on his car on Joshua's first day.

Joshua was so grateful to find at least one decent friend who trusted him, who didn't treat Joshua like he really had some kind of mental problem.

Wonwoo was really patient. He listened to Joshua without interrupting him and comforted him when no one else did as Joshua told him about Jeonghan and how he was manipulating everyone.

What Joshua didn't know while sharing about that kissing incident with Wonwoo was that — Jeonghan and Wonwoo were already acquainted with each other even before this, despite being in different departments.

They have had a kind of rivalry even before Joshua had begun going to Hwangnam University.

Two smart students from two different departments.

Two students who are the Professor's favourite. 

Both being extraordinarily handsome men.

And both were good at basketball and football and had played for the University’s official teams.

They were meant to have some kind of cold war with each other when they were so alike but different at the same time.

However, now with the addition of Joshua in their lives, the rivalry was about to get more intense, for they both wanted Joshua all to themselves.

The dribbling sound of the basketball tuned out the rest of the noises around Jeonghan as he played by himself. It was past evening and nobody should be at the indoor basketball court of their University but Jeonghan wanted to come here at this time to take his mind off of something.

Thoughts about Joshua. 

He wanted Joshua so bad. It was a bit loserish to admit it like that but it was the truth. Jeonghan had never been one to hide his feelings and desire for Joshua.

He had waited for Joshua for eleven years and now that the younger one was finally back, Jeonghan was seriously going crazy. From outside, he didn't show it at all. He looked perfectly normal, perfectly composed and in his elements.

But deep down, only he knew how hard it was for him to control his urges now that Joshua was in the same country as him, studying in the same university as him. 

So close yet so far. Jeonghan wanted Joshua so bad it was now starting to be physically painful for him.

And it was strange. Because as bad as Jeonghan was, he had never been a lustful man. For years he had thought of no one else romantically aside from just Joshua. But even while thinking about Joshua, he had never let his thoughts drift off to imagination that were not innocent.

He did that solely out of his respect for Joshua.

And yet you kissed him without his permission.

Something reminded inside Jeonghan's mind and he had no choice but to sigh.

It was unexpected but Jeonghan didn't regret it.

How was he supposed to control himself when Joshua looked so adorable, so beautiful in front of him, begging him cutely for a picture?

Jeonghan threw the ball at the basket absentmindedly, not really caring if he scored a point or not.

Lost in thought, Jeonghan did not realize when another person entered the courtroom and snatched the ball from the basket before Jeonghan could.

The furrow on Jeonghan's eyebrows disappeared as quickly as it had appeared as soon as he noticed who it was.

Jeonghan stood there calmly, waiting. Wonwoo didn't come here of all places without any purpose. There must be something he wanted to tell Jeonghan.

Dribbling the ball, Wonwoo walked closer to where Jeonghan was standing. He tilted his head, an unreadable expression on his face and Jeonghan couldn't exactly tell what the taller man wanted from him.

Wonwoo glared at him once before throwing the ball at Jeonghan abruptly.

If it weren't for Jeonghan's fast reflexes and catching the ball immediately, it would have definitely hit his face.

“Who gave you the permission to kiss Joshua?” Wonwoo gritted out, enunciating each word slowly, “How dare you, Yoon.”

Jeonghan looked sideways, amused, ah so this is what he wanted to talk about, “Well, my type of love has two rules — being caring to my lover and being daring for my love for him. You wouldn't get it,”

Wonwoo scoffed, chuckling mockingly, “Lover? Now you think Joshua is your lover just because your dirty mouth kissed him once? News flash Joshua hates you.”

“Not a problem for me,” Jeonghan answered immediately, smiling. He circled Wonwoo around as he dribbled the basketball slowly, “Hate is a strong emotion, Jeon. So even in order to hate me, Joshua needs to feel me first. Inside his heart. And that feeling is more than enough for me. For now.” 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes before crossing his arms.

“I would prefer if you took that bullshit somewhere else and leave Joshua alone because I like him too,” Wonwoo confessed and went straight to the point without beating around the bush, “And unlike you I am the more sane admirer of Joshua who wouldn't kiss him all of a sudden just because I couldn't control myself. I'm not the one who is deceiving the entire world for an agenda. Even you know that I'm a better choice for Joshua than you, Yoon,”

Jeonghan looked sideways, poking the inside of his cheek in annoyance before letting out a chuckle, “Do you have any ideas about how long I have known Joshua for, Jeon?” Jeonghan asked, his eyes twitching, “Exactly. You fucking don't. I have been in love with Joshua since he started losing his baby teeth and now even after eleven years, I'm still in love with him. You don't get to tell me to back off when you have known him for less than a month,” Jeonghan gritted out.

“There is no such thing called ‘First come first served’ when it comes to love. At the end of the day, it still depends on Joshua. And he already likes me much more than he ever liked you. So I guess you already know who he will choose when it comes down to it,” Wonwoo said smugly, the side of his lip quirking up.

Jeonghan clenched his jaw, passing the basketball from his right hand to his left one as he replied.

“We will see about that. My destiny had let me meet Joshua when I needed someone the most in my life. And I trust that same destiny to make Joshua mine again when the right time comes,” Jeonghan said firmly, pausing for a second before continuing, “And if your destiny ever favours you by making Joshua fall for you instead, I will back off. That's a promise from this crazy lover of Joshua's to you. Because for Joshua's happiness, I am willing to do anything,”

Jeonghan took a look at his watch, checking the time, “Until then I would continue to chase my Joshua and you won't be able to do anything to stop me,”

Saying that, Jeonghan started walking away with the basketball. But then he stopped at the farthest end of the court, his back facing Wonwoo who stood in the middle of the court silently.

“Another thing,” Jeonghan started, “You are mad that I kissed Joshua, right? Well, that's just the beginning. Last time, I kissed him. Next time, I'm gonna send him a love letter. Let's see what you can do about it.”

With that, Jeonghan threw the basketball back. It landed perfectly in the basket, even shocking Wonwoo for a second. But he didn't let it show.

It's like Jeonghan was making a point out of it that he could get Joshua easily if he just wanted and if he put his mind to it.

Clenching his fist, Wonwoo stared at the disappearing back of his opponent. If Yoon Jeonghan wanted to play, then he would play.

Let's see who would win at the end.

“In this age of email, you're telling me that Jeonghan sent you this love letter?” Mr. Byun asked, pushing his thick glasses back as he stared at Joshua.

The rest of the students surrounding them laughed.

Joshua nodded helplessly. His face looked so resigned like he already knew that they wouldn't believe him. But he was still hoping that they would trust him. 

All the students gathered inside the principal's office to witness this incident as Joshua had claimed that Jeonghan sent him a love letter of all things.

The principal, Mr. Byun Baekyun, laughed once again before finally paying attention to the content of the letter, looking beyond amused. He crossed his legs as he sat on top of his desk.

He read the letter aloud, saying every words slowly and with emotions—

Dear Joshua,

I have made a silly mistake which I would like to apologize to you for. At first, I should have professed my unending love for you in a love letter romantically before kissing you. But in a hurry, I ended up kissing you first as you looked so beautiful that day.

Mr. Byun laughed. The rest of the students laughed as well. 

It was only Joshua who was whining by the side because they were not taking the letter seriously, thinking it was a prank or something.

The principal continued—

My love, I need to tell you some things about myself before courting you because you deserve to know everything about me. 

I smoke cigarettes.

Some of the students shared a look, finding this fact more absurd than the sun rising in the west.

I drink alcohol.

More students started whispering, some were already laughing due to how ridiculous it sounded. Jeonghan and drinking alcohol? Impossible.

I even get into a lot of fights when I get angry.

The principal, along with the students surrounding him, bursted into laughter. 

You should love me only after knowing all these facts about me, Joshua. Because you're the most important person in my life. And I don't want to deceive you.

Mr. Byun nodded his head, humming like he was reading a fairy tale.

Julie yawned by the side. And Suzy was occupied with her phone.

Another student already fell asleep on top of a desk.

It's like nobody was considering the possibility of Jeonghan sending this letter to Joshua.

Joshua wanted to cry. But he held himself back. He couldn't let himself cry just because of that weirdo.

Mr. Byun shushed the rest of the students who were laughing as he squinted at the bottom of the letter, “Students, calm down. The letter doesn't end yet. There's something written at the end,”

My love, I hope you don't show this letter to the Principal. Mr. Byun is an extremely kind man. He won't believe that I could write a letter like this to you. 

That's all for today. I love you, Joshua.

With love,

Jeonghan 

The first two sentences might have stroked the principal's big fat ego a lot as he puffed out his chest, nodding aggressively, “Such a good kid, praising me. Hahahaha!” he said, handing the letter back to Joshua.

“Now kids, go back to your classes. The fun is over now,” the principal said, getting off his desk and straightening his suit.

Joshua fumed by the side, “Sir, do you still not believe that this letter is written by Jeonghan?” he asked, clenching his fist.

Mr. Byun chuckled once again, like that time he did while saying that Joshua was hallucinating about Jeonghan kissing him, “Look, dear. Even the person who sent you this letter already believes that I won't believe it. So how can you expect me to believe that Jeonghan wrote it? He's the nicest kid in the entire university. Jeonghan writing a love letter sounds ridiculous.”

Joshua was about to burst in anger when someone from the side laid out a solution to their problem that could prove Joshua's claim.

“In stead of arguing about who wrote this letter and who didn't, why don't we just match the handwriting to Jeonghan's and it will automatically clear out all the confusions.”

The students as well as the principal stood a few feet away from Jeonghan who was studying diligently inside the library. They all gathered around the guy but didn't disturb him yet.

Jeonghan's books and notes were scattered across the table. He was scribbling down something on his notes, writing down all the problems and points. 

The principal wiped the imaginary tears from his eyes, whispering to the students, “See. He's studying so nicely. He doesn't have time for writing love letters.”

Jisoo closed his eyes in frustration and took a deep breath, “Sir, why don't you ask him first?” he whispered back.

Mr. Byun nodded, fixing his glasses before gently tapping on Jeonghan's shoulder to get his attention, “Jeonghan, my boy.” he called out

Jeonghan looked up, asking innocently, “Yes, Sir? Did you need anything from me?”

The principal coughed, “Ah yes yes. Can you show me your notebook, please? I just want to see something,”

Jeonghan showed him his notes without any hesitation, letting the principal examine his handwriting as well as the handwriting on the love letter. No similarities between them whatsoever.

Joshua peeked over the principal's shoulder to take a look as well. The rest of the students did the same. Everyone could tell that the letter’s handwriting didn't belong to Jeonghan.

The principal laughed before handing Jeonghan's notebook back to him, “I knew it. Hahahaha. Sorry for disturbing you, Jeonghan. Please go back to your studies,” the principal urged the studious boy before glancing at Joshua, “And you Joshua. Don't bother Jeonghan anymore, alright? Let's go kids, you all have classes right now.”

With that the principal walked away with the rest of the students, leaving only Joshua and Jeonghan in that corner of the library.

Joshua turned around and looked at Jeonghan. If looks could kill, Jeonghan would already be six feet underneath by now.

“You!” Joshua pointed his finger at Jeonghan who didn't look up from his books, “Don’t you have any shame? You sent me a letter but you didn't even have the guts to write it with your own fucking hands. Why did you make someone else write it for you?” Joshua angrily asked, his voice got so loud that the librarian had to motion for him to speak lowly.

Joshua gave the man an apologetic smile, lowering his voice before paying his attention back to Jeonghan. 

He leaned down, “If you have the courage, next time send me a letter written with your own fucking hands, alright?” Joshua said, gritting his teeth. 

Jeonghan twirled the pen that was in his right hand and threw it to his left hand. Joshua noticed that all this time Jeonghan had been writing with his right hand on the notebook but now all of a sudden, he started writing something with his left hand on a separate paper.

Confused, Joshua leaned closer to take a look at what Jeonghan was writing to him with his left hand.

Sorry for writing the love letter with my left hand and giving it to you. If you allow me to, I will send you another one someday written with my right hand.

Jeonghan ripped that page from his notebook and gave it to Joshua whose eyes were as big as saucers at this point. This was the same handwriting as the one on that love letter.

This freak. He wrote the letter with his left hand?!

Crumbling the page in his hand, Joshua threw it at Jeonghan, “You are so annoying. I hate you!” he said before angrily stomping away from that spot.

Jeonghan took the crumpled paper and kept it at the side gently.

A small smirk spread on his lips as he recalled Joshua's angry eyes. Joshua looked like an adorable kitten with his eyebrows furrowed whenever he was mad. 

Jeonghan bit his lower lip to contain his smile before going back to his notes. 

It was so much fun teasing his Joshuji. The younger one had not changed at all. He was still the same adorable boy Jeonghan had fallen in love with eleven years ago.

Chapter Text

Since Joshua was already troubled enough by all of the shenanigans by Jeonghan so far, the older one decided to be considerate for once and took a step back from all these pranks for the time being.

He left Joshua alone for the next few weeks.

Jeonghan still stole glances of Joshua everywhere he went and still watched him from afar but that's about it. He did not interact with Joshua again to let him focus on his studies and get used to the new environment first.

That's the least Jeonghan could do for the comfort of his love.

Because as much as Jeonghan enjoyed seeing the petulant pout and the adorable frown on Joshua's face every time he got annoyed at Jeonghan's actions, Jeonghan knew he had to take a step back from time to time to let Joshua breathe. Or else the younger one might come to hate him even more than he already did. 

Occasionally, Jeonghan sent roses and other flowers to Joshua without revealing his identity, in the guise of an anonymous sender. At first Jeonghan had thought that maybe it would make Joshua mad if he suspected that they were from Jeonghan. 

But it seemed that so long as Joshua didn't know about his secret admirer’s identity, he was fine with receiving any kind of flowers. 

It was so normal to Joshua.

The smile on Joshua's face was so precious every single time he received a new bouquet, he looked so appreciative of them, Jeonghan was determined to send every kind of flower to Joshua daily if it meant he would get to see Joshua this happy again and again.

Everything was going well until one day he saw Joshua getting into the car of another guy.

Paying close attention to who it was, Jeonghan realized that it was one of their classmates, Daehyun. Infamous for dating different girls and guys on different days. Jeonghan didn't know much about this guy but even he was aware of the rumors that surrounded this guy. 

Daehyun was up to no good.

Joshua didn't want to get into that guy's car at first judging by his body language. But after Daehyun’s insistence, Joshua finally caved in and got inside the car. It seemed that Daehyun wanted to give Joshua a ride to his home.

Jeonghan clenched his fist until it turned white completely, his jaw tight.

His gut feeling was telling him that this guy was up to no good. And Jeonghan always trusted his gut feeling. He needed to teach Daehyun a lesson for that.

That day, Jeonghan wrote another note in his diary from childhood, the same one that he had been carrying with himself since he met Joshua, and dedicated every entry to the younger one.

If anyone looks at my Joshuji with bad intentions, I will make sure they regret everything.

The news spread like a wildflower all around the campus. Everyone was talking about the person who broke the infamous Daehyun's car.

Streets were saying that Daehyun had parked his car in the underground parking lot of the university at night when another car with black tinted glasses came out of nowhere and crashed into it. 

Nobody knew anything other than that, as Daehyun refused to share the rest of the story about what happened afterwards.

There was a reason why Daehyun didn't want to share the rest of the details.

That night, by the time Daehyun returned to get his car from the parking lot, the only thing that was left there was the broken remnants of his car. 

His blood ran cold when he noticed the spray paint on the broken door of his car, written in bold letters—

Stay the fuck away from Joshua or I will not hesitate to expose all the illegal things you have done so far to get innocent girls to fall into your bed.

The threat was clear.

One wrong move and Daehyun's future was fucked if people found out about his past doings.

It made Daehyun shut the fuck up real quick. He even refused to file any complaints about his broken car when his friends told him to as it would open even a bigger can of worms that he was not ready to deal with.

All the students were whispering behind Daehyun's back, wondering what he did for someone to do this to him unprovoked as no one was aware of the message written on Daehyun's car.

Daehyun didn't have the courage to tell this to anyone because whoever this person was—Joshua’s admirer or who knows what—they definitely knew more than enough about him, enough to put him behind the bars.

So he did what he was told to. Stayed the fuck away from Joshua and didn't bug him to go out with him again.

However, there was only one detail that Daehyun had revealed about that car with black tinted glasses, the one that attacked him — there were two stickers on the back of that car, one of a bubble gum and the other of the letter ‘J’

That one thing revealed by Daehyun was more than enough to make Joshua lose his mind who had heard about Daehyun's incident from the passing.

It didn't take him more than two seconds to connect the dots.

Stickers of bubble gum and the letter ‘J’? Seriously?

Joshua had always associated bubble gums with Jeonghan and he's pretty sure Jeonghan did that too.

Daehyun had been after Joshua's attention for a while. It had to be Jeonghan who did this to Daehyun. There was no way Joshua was overthinking it. He had a feeling that it was Jeonghan.

And he felt so mad because of that.

Jeonghan had the audacity to break an innocent guy's car just because he was trying to ask Joshua out?

It's true that Joshua didn't like Daehyun. He didn't like Daehyun at all. And he was low-key wishing for the guy to leave him alone too as Joshua didn't like how weirdly persistent Daehyun was about asking him out. But who gave Jeonghan the permission to act like a possessive freak when he was no different than Daehyun?

What was even the difference between Jeonghan and Daehyun that Jeonghan thought he must stop Daehyun from bugging Joshua when he himself never stopped?

Joshua was so angry he was about to go and find Jeonghan to give the crazy man a piece of his mind. 

However, Julie and Suzy approached him right at that moment, interrupting his thought process.

“Hi, Shua. What are you doing here all alone?” Julie asked, sipping on her ice americano.

Joshua only sighed, mumbling a small, “Nothing. I was just about to leave,”

“You look like you're a bit stressed. Did something happen?” Suzy asked, a worried look on her face.

Joshua shook his head, exhaling a breath.

“It’s nothing. I just heard about Daehyun and what happened to his car. I can't believe someone could do this to him. Daehyun doesn't deserve it,” Joshua replied in frustration, his brows meeting in worry.

Julie's lips thinned into a line as she shared a look with Suzy. One that Joshua did not understand. 

Suzy also looked a bit hesitant to say this but then she spoke.

“Well I understand where you're coming from, shua, as you're new around here. But most of us think that Daehyun kinda deserved it. He was once caught filming a girl under her skirt but he still got away with it because of his good grades,” Suzy said with a grimace on her face, “That bastard got really smug afterwards thinking nobody could do any harm to him just because he got saved once. So it's a good thing that someone finally decided to put him in his place. I bet they were sick of Daehyun's insufferable ass too,”

Now, Joshua looked conflicted after hearing Suzy's words.

There's no doubt that this Daehyun guy was really problematic.

Did that mean Daehyun had bad intentions with him too when he was trying to befriend Joshua?

The thought sent a chill down Joshua's spine.

Daehyun did behave strangely with him when he repeatedly asked Joshua to get inside his car. He even touched Joshua's lower back without his permission even though Joshua wanted to keep his distance.

So maybe it wasn't a bad thing after all, that Jeonghan broke this guy's car.

Joshua came to terms with it with a grimace on his face as he sighed.

He couldn't believe he was agreeing with Jeonghan's madness but this time it couldn't be helped. 

Daehyun deserved it for real.

One month later—

Just when Joshua thought Jeonghan was getting a bit better about his obsessive behavior as he hadn't disturbed Joshua for a whole month and a half, the older man proved him wrong by causing another ruckus.

This time Jeonghan broke Joshua's landlord's car for giving Joshua a ride.

Was this guy seriously crazy? 

Was Jeonghan dropped as a baby by any chance? 

Or how was Joshua supposed to explain this kind of obsessive behavior?

Why did Jeonghan even think that it would be a good idea to break Joshua's landlord's car while telling that man to not look at Joshua again?

That was a forty five years old man for fucks sake.

Now Joshua's landlord kicked him out unannounced and he had to find another apartment within two days or he would have no place to stay.

Joshua was already so stressed because of his studies. His dad called him every week to make sure he was studying well. Joshua had to put up a lot of fight to come here, with the promise that he would not fool around here and dedicate his time to his studies completely. 

If by any chance, he didn't make a good result. His dad would not let him stay in Seoul any longer.

That's why Joshua felt even more frustrated by Jeonghan's doings. Could he really not leave Joshua alone for fucks sake?

Angrily, Joshua went to find Jeonghan. 

And there he was, on the farthest corner of the cafeteria, eating by himself. A bowl of soup in front of him and a book on the side. His dark brown hair was pushed back and the first two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up.

He looked like a model straight out of a magazine. It pissed Joshua off so much.

So after ruining Joshua's whole week, this weirdo was here living his best life.

Joshua approached him with long strides, slamming his palm on the table “What the hell is wrong with you, Jeonghan? Will you break every single man's car out there if they gave me a ride?”

Jeonghan only looked up at him for one second before continuing to eat his soup, acting like Joshua's outburst wasn't directed towards him.

Joshua ran a hand through his hair in frustration, “Do you even know who he was? He was my landlord. My fucking landlord! And now he has kicked me out because of you,” Joshua snapped, glaring at Jeonghan who had the audacity to look unbothered, “Where am I supposed to live now, you idiot? In your house?!”

“Excuse me, are you Joshua Hong?” a middle aged man with a file in his hand interrupted Joshua all of a sudden.

He looked so out of place inside the cafeteria with his formal attire and documents. Joshua didn't know why this man approached him.

“Uh yes t-that would be me. But how do you know my name?”

The man gave Joshua a business card.

“I’m a house broker. You said that you needed a new place to live in, didn't you? I will show you. Please come with me.”

Joshua stared at the man in confusion, “But I didn't call you for any house though,”

The man deflated, looking confused as well, “What? But someone called me from Hwangnam University and I was informed that Joshua Hong from the psychology department needed a new place to stay.”

Joshua gaped at the man before glancing at Jeonghan in disbelief who still didn't pay any attention to him, continuing to eat his soup. He was only watching Joshua from the corner of his eyes.

Joshua couldn't believe Jeonghan called a house broker on behalf of him and arranged all this shit.

“If you didn't need a house, why would you call me? Kids these days are so irresponsible,” the man berated as he started to walk away, “I will take my leave now.”

Joshua panicked as the man started to leave. He threw one last glare in Jeonghan's direction before following the man.

“Wait a minute, Uncle! I will take a house! Please don't leave me!”

Jeonghan smiled, watching Joshua run.

He didn't regret threatening Joshua's previous landlord and breaking his car. That old hag had the audacity to ogle at Joshua from behind when Joshua got out of his car and he thought he would get away with this so easily. Not on Jeonghan's watch.

He played with his spoon absentmindedly, hoping Joshua would like the new house. 

Jeonghan had personally decorated it for him.

Within two days, Joshua was done getting his new apartment. It's still a wonder to him how he found an amazing apartment with such a cheap price and also with such a nice landlord. 

He thought apartments in Seoul would be expensive, especially around the university area but he was so wrong.

Joshua was almost contemplating to thank Jeonghan for getting his previous landlord to kick him out, otherwise he wouldn't have this new beautiful apartment and at such a cheap rent. 

But then Joshua realized what he was thinking and mentally slapped himself for normalizing Jeonghan's craziness.

He must be going crazy too.

Joshua shook his head. No. He couldn't thank Jeonghan ever. Or it would just encourage that menace to keep being insufferable like this.

It was Joshua's first night staying in his new apartment all by himself. It was past evening and he was just getting familiar with the place. He started with the kitchen.

He tore open a pack of milk with his teeth and poured it into a pot to boil it. Just as he turned on the gas stove, suddenly the lights went out, making Joshua panic.

Fuck his life. Did the lights really have to go out now of all time?

He didn't even know where the candles and lighters were as he didn't get to explore the place properly yet.

“Where could it be?” Joshua mumbled to himself anxiously, looking around and rummaging through the drawers.

All of a sudden, he heard a ‘ping’ notification coming from his phone.

Joshua checked it. It was a message from a number he didn't recognize.

Unknown number:

>the lighters and candles are in the cupboard, upper left corner of the kitchen.

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What the….

He checked the cupboard and there it was. Some candles and a lighter.

It was strange that he received a message for this. Joshua gulped, looking around himself nervously.

He lit the candle and went out of the kitchen to take a look around the house, just to make sure everything was fine and he was only overthinking about this.

Right then, he received another notification.

Unknown number:

>the milk is already boiled. It's about to spill from the pot :D

Joshua's eyes widened. He ran back to the kitchen to turn off the stove, saving the milk just by a second.

Right at that moment, the lights turned on, signalling that the electricity problem was fixed.

Joshua let out a sigh of relief.

He checked his phone again to read those messages. But to his utter surprise, they were gone now.

Empty inbox.

Joshua stared at his phone in disbelief, “Huh? Where did the texts go?” It made him feel dizzy.

Joshua pouted, muttering to himself, “Must be my hallucinations,” 

He went to the bathroom, still staring at his phone just in case the messages were in the spam folder or accidentally got deleted. 

He brushed his teeth, washed his face and applied moisturizer before glancing at his phone one more time. But his mind was still stuck with the message incident.

Someone had texted him but it wasn't there anymore.

Those texts now felt like a fever dream to him. Maybe Joshua just made it up.

“Mr. Byun was right. I must be hallucinating for real,” Joshua mumbled with a pout.

For some reasons, Joshua didn't think much of it and shrugged it off.

He was about to take off his clothes. He pulled the shirt above, exposing his naked waist but then he received the same ‘ping’ notification again.

Joshua flinched in surprise, checking his phone again.

Unknown number:

>close the door of the bathroom first before changing your clothes.

Joshua blushed furiously before closing the door shut with a loud ‘Bang!’ 

Resting his back against the door, Joshua checked his message again but they were gone this time as well.

Closing his eyes, Joshua screamed internally. This paranoia would kill him very soon.

Was he really going crazy? 

The next night, Joshua prepared dinner and went to sit on top of the couch that was situated in front of the TV.

He played a movie randomly as he wasn't too interested in whatever was playing in front of him. He took a spoonful of rice in his mouth, and a piece of meat next. He only looked up briefly when a sensual music started to play in the background. 

Joshua was just in time to watch an intimate scene playing out in the movie— a man and a woman engaging in lustful passion on top of the bed, their bodies naked as the day they were born.

Joshua choked on his food, completely unprepared.

Putting the plate down, Joshua took a few gulps of water. 

As if choking on his food wasn't enough already, Joshua heard the sound of door opening and closing somewhere, making him flinch.

Scared shitless, Joshua turned off the TV, looking around himself anxiously, wondering if someone had broken in.

But no. The apartment door was locked from inside. The windows were all closed too. This was also a safe area with a lot of surveillance cameras all around the place.

There was no way someone could have broken in.

Joshua sighed in relief after concluding that it was all in his head. There was nothing to be worried about.

Maybe he was only spooked because this was a new house and it was his first time living here.

Joshua didn't know why but at that moment, Jeonghan's thought briefly crossed his mind.

And he wanted to slap himself for thinking about Jeonghan at that moment of all time.

He went back to eating food but his mind kept running all over the place.

Joshua groaned into his palm, rubbing his face, “Why do I keep thinking about him?” he mumbled, “Now even I'm starting to believe that Mr. Byun was right about me. I must be hallucinating—”

Joshua opened his eyes and froze mid sentence when he saw Jeonghan sitting on the couch beside him, staring at him with a blank expression.

Joshua gaped at him in disbelief for a few seconds before looking away.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I’m not even sure if Jeonghan is sitting here beside me for real or it's my hallucination again,”

Joshua looked back and saw Jeonghan still sitting there.

“Are you real, Jeonghan?” Joshua asked. He felt like a crazy person for even asking this.

Jeonghan blinked once, twice and thrice before replying, “I love you, Joshuji.”

Joshua gave him a displeased glare. He clicked his tongue, looking away, “This is not real. This can't be real. Now he's saying I love you to me in my hallucinations. God why? I don't even like him. Please give my hallucinations to Julie instead”

Joshua ignored the presence beside him and stared ahead of himself, watching the TV. But even then he could feel Jeonghan staring at him from the corner of his eyes. 

Joshua groaned, looking back at Jeonghan, “Quit staring at me, will you?”

“I love you,” Jeonghan said again.

Joshua rolled his eyes, “It seems like that’s the only thing you learnt to say after being born. So annoying,” he shook his head.

Jeonghan didn't answer.

Joshua sighed, “What do you want from me, Jeonghan? What is it? You keep staring at me. Do you want to eat? Are you hungry? Here you can eat from my plate,” 

Joshua offered his plate to the man. It wasn't anything serious. He was still not sure about whether this was even real or not. He was just too tired to make sense of anything these days.

He might as well just be talking to his couch right now.

However, to his utter shock, Jeonghan took the only dumpling left on his plate and ate it.

Joshua took back his plate and stared at the now empty plate in disbelief. 

“Dumpling…my dumpling?” he mumbled, full of shock.

Jeonghan, in his hallucinations, couldn't possibly eat stuff from Joshua's plate. Did that mean Jeonghan was really here?

Joshua looked up again but this time there was no Jeonghan.

Joshua gasped. He felt like his soul had just left his body. He looked around himself frantically. But Jeonghan was nowhere to be seen.

Joshua swallowed the lump in his throat. He was sure he had a dumpling left on his plate and it was eaten by Jeonghan as soon as he offered his plate. There was no way it was a hallucination.

But then where did Jeonghan go?

Joshua could only scream in frustration as he had no answer to this.

“What? Jeonghan ate your dumpling?” Mr. Byun looked at Joshua in disbelief like he was a crazy person. 

Joshua nodded timidly, standing in front of the principal as he fiddled with his fingers.

“You mean to tell me that Jeonghan went to your apartment to eat your dumpling?”

Joshua nodded again, biting his lower lip.

“Well we can't put someone behind the bars for stealing someone's dumpling now, can we?” Mr. Byun rubbed his forehead in frustration, shaking his head dismissively, “This is the 7th stage of hallucinations,”

“But Sir —”

“No buts, Joshua. Leave,”

Joshua could only curse internally before leaving.

Joshua returned to his apartment after a long day.

He just opened the door and what greeted him inside was something he never expected in a million years.

Jeonghan was there.

Sitting on top of Joshua's couch.

Drinking alcohol. Smoking cigarettes. 

A plate of chicken nuggets by the side.

Jeonghan was sitting there like the couch belonged to him, one of his arms rested on top of the armrest lazily, the other one held a glass of alcohol that he was taking a sip of from time to time.

“Welcome, Joshuji,” he said, more like mumbled because Joshua could tell that Jeonghan was already far gone. He was clearly drunk.

“Now what do we have here? The most perfect student of Hwangnam University,” Joshua said with a mocking smile, as he took off his shoes and approached the man slowly.

Jeonghan didn't look up at him. He only took a puff out of his cigarette and then took a sip of the alcohol again.

“I already told you, Joshuji. I drink alcohol. I smoke cigarettes. Nobody else knows this fact about me aside from you. So I came here. You are the safest place for me right now,” Jeonghan slurred.

Joshua clenched his jaw before closing his eyes to calm himself down.

“Of course you would come here. I am the most unfortunate guy in this world after all because I stepped onto that fucking bubble gum of yours a decade ago,” Joshua muttered to himself underneath his breath.

He walked towards Jeonghan and gave him a once over.

Up until now he had only heard about Jeonghan's bad habits but now he was seeing it for real too. How could this same guy be the entire university’s crush when he behaved like this behind closed doors?

Joshua folded his arms on top of his chest and forced a smile, “Great. In front of the whole university, you're the epitome of all virtues but behind closed doors, you act like an uncivilized human. I get it,” Joshua threw him a judgemental glare as Jeonghan took a bite off the chicken nugget, smoked and drank alternatively, “Gosh who raised you? This is so crazy…” Joshua muttered distastefully, rolling his eyes.

He sat on top of the spare couch, crossing his legs.

“You have been making a fool of me for so long. I am so sick of this double lifestyle of yours. Just you wait, idiot. Today I'm gonna expose your fake ass in front of the whole world,” Joshua said as he typed Julie's number on his phone aggressively.

He called her, the phone ringing for a few seconds. But then he stopped, cancelling the call and putting his phone down with a sigh.

“Fuck why do I even try? It's not like they are gonna believe me anyway. They would just think that I'm hallucinating again,” Joshua said disdainfully, sulk evident in his tone, “I can't even blame them for not trusting me anymore. Because even I'm not sure at this moment about whether you're real or just a figment of my imagination,” 

Joshua confessed with a tired voice. His eyes landed on Jeonghan again. He was in a casual outfit. His hair was not styled perfectly like usual and they laid messily on top of his forehead. His forearm was completely exposed due to the rolled up sleeve and flexed slightly as he held the glass of alcohol with that hand.

For the first time, Joshua was seeing Jeonghan in a casual fit, in an informal setting where Jeonghan didn't look like the made up perfect version of himself. Jeonghan looked normal. He looked like…. himself.

Joshua shook his head, realizing that he was staring at Jeonghan for too long.

Coughing, Joshua averted his eyes.

All of a sudden, he had a crazy idea. He smiled to himself. The smile was completely evil as he went to sit beside Jeonghan on the same couch, lightly touching the older’s arm.

Jeonghan visibly froze on his seat, having Joshua this close to him for the first time in his life. 

Joshua smiled at him sweetly, leaning closer to Jeonghan, “You are eating the nuggets without any sauce. Doesn't it taste bland without any sauce to pair it with?,” Joshua asked softly, voice dripping with honey, “Should I bring you some, Hannie,” Joshua amplified the effect of his sweet talk by cupping Jeonghan's face lightly and batting his eyelashes in a flirtatious manner.

And Joshua saw Jeonghan's entire face turn completely red, his breath stuttering for a second as he leaned into the touch unconsciously. If Joshua didn't hate him so much, he would have probably found this cute. But not now. He had a better plan to execute right now. One that involved exposing this weirdo's ass.

Joshua got up from the couch slowly, almost teasingly as he retracted his hand from Jeonghan's cheek. The loss of warmth made Jeonghan almost chase him right then and there. He looked like he was in a trance. Fair because this was the first time Joshua had ever touched him out of his own free will. 

It was meant to mess up with a lovesick man's mind who had wanted Joshua for years.

Joshua ran to his room quickly, changed into his comfy clothes, ran back to the kitchen, took out a plate, poured some chilly sauce on one side and some tomato sauce on the other side. He giggled to himself before walking back to the living room where Jeonghan was seated.

Joshua walked towards Jeonghan, a slight sway to his hips that he purposely added as he put down the plate of sauce lightly on the table. He flashed the older a beautiful smile, looking up at the man through his eyelashes.

“Here, Jeonghan. Please continue eating,” he urged sweetly.

But Jeonghan didn't look like he was hearing anything nor did he want to eat anything when Joshua looked like an angel sent from heaven. He was too lost in Joshua's twinkling eyes.

Joshua, not noticing how Jeonghan had barely any restraint anymore, sat beside the older man again and touched Jeonghan's cheek, their thighs touching. 

Jeonghan's fists clenched at his side as he tried hard to control himself.

Cupping Jeonghan's cheek, Joshua was about to speak again but then something unexpected happened.

The self restraint on Jeonghan was completely gone.

Jeonghan wrapped his arm around Joshua's waist and pushed him on top of the couch before hovering above him in a quick motion, locking Joshua in his embrace. Joshua squeaked in surprise, eyes wide as he stared back at Jeonghan's hooded eyes.

Joshua gulped nervously because this was not what he had expected while trying to sweet talk to Jeonghan. 

With being this close to the older one, Joshua could even smell the natural cologne of Jeonghan's body—peppermint and musk. Jeonghan smelled like mint, with a hint of alcohol and cigarettes that lingered on his body after drinking and smoking for the last few minutes.

Joshua held his breath as Jeonghan tucked a strand of Joshua's hair behind his ear. The older one was looking at him with so much emotion, Joshua didn't know what to make of it. He gulped as Jeonghan caressed his waist lightly from above his silk shirt. It sent a shiver down Joshua's spine.

Joshua should've pushed him away, should have told him to stop, should've done anything to stop Jeonghan from holding him like this, like a lover, like someone who Joshua loved. But Joshua was laid there completely paralyzed, looking like a fool and words caught up in his throat. 

Jeonghan let his lips touch Joshua's neck, lingering there for a few seconds before moving up. He kissed Joshua's neck, his delicate throat, his jaw and then his cheek. 

“You are so beautiful, Joshuji” Jeonghan murmured against his skin, running his lips across his cheek down to his lips.

Joshua swallowed nervously, his chest heaving up and down, pressed against Jeonghan's own chest until there was no space left in between their bodies. Joshua's hands were clenched into a fist on Jeonghan's shoulder but he couldn't bring himself to push the man away.

Even he wasn't sure why he couldn't when he hated Jeonghan so much.

Jeonghan leaned closer, their lips now only centimeters apart and Joshua, like an utter fool, shut his eyes closed instead of pushing the drunk male away.

But after a few seconds when he felt no lips on his own, Joshua realized that Jeonghan was not kissing him. 

He opened his eyes and saw Jeonghan looking at him with a conflicted look on his face. His jaw tight and eyes slightly red from all the alcohol he had drunk.

Cursing underneath his breath, Jeonghan pulled away from Joshua and ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. He massaged his face with his palms, as if trying to bring himself to his senses.

Casting one last glance at Joshua who was still lying on the couch in shock, Jeonghan took out an old diary from his bag that was placed just beside the couch. 

Joshua sat up and looked at him in confusion.

Even though Jeonghan was drunk, he scribbled down something in his diary in a hurry. But Joshua, being the curious little cat that he was, leaned closer and took a peek, wondering what possessed Jeonghan to do this all of a sudden when he was about to kiss Joshua just a moment ago.

Since Jeonghan was drunk, he wasn't being too good at hiding what he was writing as Joshua read the two lines written freshly in Jeonghan's diary.

No kissing Joshua without his explicit consent. Our next kiss will be at our wedding.

Joshua rolled his eyes so hard he was afraid they would get stuck at the back of his head.

He was out here plotting how to expose Jeonghan's fake ass and there was Jeonghan planning their wedding and kiss already. 

It seemed that Jeonghan was not only a normal freak but he was also a delusional freak.

Writing that entry, Jeonghan closed his diary and shoved it back inside his bag. A yawn escaped his lips. Something that made Joshua stare at him in disbelief.

Look at this bastard getting all comfy and sleepy at my place.

Clearing his throat, Joshua brought back his sweet smile as he pushed Jeonghan down slowly until he was fully laid on the couch.

“Do you feel tired right now, Hannie? You should sleep then,” 

Jeonghan's brow was furrowed even though what Joshua said was right. He was so tired. But he didn't want to sleep yet.

Joshua caressed his forehead gently, “Sleep, alright?” He spoke softly, getting up to cover Jeonghan's body with a blanket.

“But Joshuji—” Jeonghan wanted to say something despite his drowsy state but Joshua placed his finger on top of Jeonghan's lips, shushing him completely.

“No more talking. When I said you have to sleep now, I mean exactly that,”

“I have something to tell you, Shuji. It's important.”

“We will have that conversation in the morning. Sleep now, baby,” 

Joshua almost cringed to himself but he had to do this to shut the drunk man up. And it worked perfectly because Jeonghan gave up on trying to say what he wanted to and fell asleep quickly.

Joshua grinned to himself evilly, “Fucking finally,”

Getting up, Joshua stretched his body and tiptoed back to his room. 

He threw one last glance at Jeonghan who was sleeping peacefully on Joshua's couch, just to make sure that he was still deep in sleep.

“Just you wait, Yoon Jeonghan. I will expose your fake ass soon,”

Hiding under his thick blanket, Joshua called everyone one by one. He called every single person in his friend circle who had the audacity to disbelieve him once when Joshua had told them about Jeonghan's obsession with him and how Jeonghan was not the picture perfect guy he portrayed himself as.

Joshua would show them today the real face of the Yoon Jeonghan.

He grinned to himself again as he kicked his legs in anticipation. Everyone was on their way to his apartment.

He called Mr. Byun too because he seemed to be the biggest supporter of Jeonghan's Mr. Perfect agenda. Joshua couldn't wait to ruin their imagination.

After half an hour or so, Joshua tiptoed to his front door, checking up on Jeonghan on the way and making sure that he didn't wake up. 

Joshua unlocked the door to get out and locked the door from the outside again so Jeonghan wouldn't be able to escape if by any chance he woke up.

Joshua went down the stairs to get The Principal and his friends.

He saw all of them getting out of the principal's car, “What is it, Joshua? You called us all in the middle of the night claiming that Jeonghan was sleeping at your apartment after drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes. Are you being serious?” Mr. Byun asked.

Joshua gave them all a smug smile, “I will not say anything right now, Sir. Just follow me. All of you,” he said before running back to his apartment.

Everyone followed behind him quickly.

Joshua unlocked the door and there he was.

Jeonghan was still fast asleep on his couch. The bottle of alcohol laid on the table beside him, a pack of cigarettes laying next to it. 

Joshua smirked, folding his arms above his chest, “Now why did you guys become so quiet? Can't believe in your eyes that this is real?” Joshua said, walking to Mr. Byun who looked at the sleeping figure of Jeonghan with an unreadable expression on his face, “Say something, Sir. Is this the state of your most perfect guy in the University?”

Julie went to sit on top of the spare couch on the side so Joshua walked up to her next, “What do you have to say about this, Julie? Remember when you guys told me that I'm in love with Jeonghan crazily to the point I can't stop daydreaming about him? Now see who is the real crazy one,” 

Joshua looked at Mr. Byun, “Sir, Jeonghan didn't just eat a dumpling this time. He drank an entire bottle of alcohol all by himself like his kidney was immune to it,”

Right at that moment, Jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows in his sleep and pulled the comforter closer to himself before turning around. He continued to sleep despite the commotions around himself.

Joshua rolled his eyes again, “He really fooled you guys for this long and I can't believe you just let him. I have been telling everyone since the beginning that he is fake. But you guys did not believe me. Perfect my ass. He is not all that because I have known him since my childhood. A freak is what he is,” he said.

He turned to Julie, “Julie, give me your phone.” Julie handed it over without any questions.

Mr. Byun sighed right at that moment and went to wake Jeonghan up.

“Let me just take a few pictures of this scene first. I'm gonna hang it on the notice board and show everyone who Jeonghan is for real—” Joshua's words got cut off as Mr. Byun spoke.

“Jeonghan, would you mind waking up for a minute, my dear,” the principal shook Jeonghan gently.

The sleeping boy only groaned in his sleep, not moving an inch.

Joshua glared at his sleeping form. He was still not over Jeonghan sleeping so comfortably on his couch, “Sir, why are you being so nice to him? Just shake him harder and he will wake up,” 

The principal ignored Joshua and continued to speak to Jeonghan gently.

“Jeonghan, this is me. Your principal Mr. Byun Baekhyun,”

Jeonghan finally stirred a bit in his sleep. He squinted his eyes, adjusting to the light before he noticed the people around him. He got up slowly. His glasses were on the table so he put them on first before speaking, his voice a bit groggy from sleep, “Sir? You're here?”

Joshua smirked, getting ready for the drama to unfold. The bastard was finally exposed. Now he will see how Jeonghan tried to protect his image because everything was ruined already and it became crystal clear who was lying and who wasn't.

Mr. Byun looked at Jeonghan with a grim expression, “Jeonghan, can you please tell us what Joshua is doing at your apartment this late at night?”

Joshua turned to the principal so fast it almost snapped his neck, eyes wide open in shock and disbelief, “Huh? W-What? J-Jeonghan's apartment?”

All the students laughed. Mr. Byun let out a chuckle. Julie was also trying to control her laughter on the side.

“We are all a bit surprised here, Jeonghan. How did Joshua even manage to come to your apartment at this hour?” Mr. Byun laughed, “Last stage of hallucinations. Breaking into someone's house. Hahahahaha.”

Joshua looked at Jeonghan, feeling played with and completely betrayed.

Jeonghan looked completely innocent, sitting on the couch with his perfect posture and his good boy face as he avoided everyone's eyes, like he didn't know what to say about this.

Joshua bit his lower lip so hard until he tasted blood in his mouth. He felt something in his heart he hasn't felt in a while— a cold feeling of pain and betrayal. His heart felt like it was tightening on its own, making it hard to breathe.

His throat felt heavy too like there was a lump there.

Jeonghan made a fool of him again. But this time he took it to a completely different level. He arranged this entire setting where Joshua had been living in Jeonghan's apartment for the past few days without even knowing that this apartment actually belonged to Jeonghan.

Now Joshua was made a laughing stock in front of everyone again. 

Joshua swallowed the painful lump in his throat. His eyes burned but he controlled himself. He didn't want to cry in front of everyone. Especially not in front of Jeonghan.

Jeonghan noticed the change of expression on Joshua's face and as soon as he noticed the first drop of tear from the younger's eyes, his heart dropped. He was about to tell everyone to stop laughing.

But then Joshua took a few steps back and walked away from that spot with fast steps.

Jeonghan didn't waste a second and ran behind Joshua, ignoring the confused glances thrown at him from the students and their principal.

They could wait. They did not matter to Jeonghan when the most important person in Jeonghan's life was now breaking down completely. All because of him.

No. He couldn't let Joshua cry at any cost. This was not supposed to happen. 

He had to explain to Joshua that he didn't do this purposely.

Chapter Text

Joshua didn't even know where he was going. He just knew that he didn't want to be in the same room as them anymore. He needed to get away from all of them to breathe properly.

After everyone was out of his sight, Joshua grabbed the knob of the first door that his eyes saw and got inside.

He just needed a moment to himself.

Closing the door, he finally let himself cry. He sat on the floor and let it all out. The sadness, the frustration, the feeling of betrayal, the embarrassment, everything. He sobbed inside the cold and dark room without looking up. 

“I hate him. I-I hate him so much,” he said to himself, thinking about Jeonghan. 

Why was Jeonghan like this? Why did he never understand that Joshua did not like this? 

Despite all the rejections, Jeonghan kept running after him, kept doing all these childish things that did nothing to make Joshua like him even a little bit. If anything, it just made Joshua hate him even more than he already did. 

Joshua never liked Jeonghan and he never will.

Especially after this incident, Joshua wouldn't even think about falling for Jeonghan ever.

After his sniffling died down a bit, Joshua stood up and looked for a light switch. He had no idea what room it was. This apartment was huge and Joshua had no time to explore all the rooms yet.

Luckily he found the switchboard fast. He pressed on them and watched as light flickered to life. There was only one light in that room.

But it was enough to illuminate the room with a golden fairy glow.

Joshua held his breath as his eyes took on the sight of all the pictures that were hung around the room.

His pictures.

They were all from his University days. Pictures of him inside the classroom, staring out of the window absentmindedly, inside the cafeteria, laughing at a particular joke made by his friends, walking in the park on the main campus, smiling at a toddler who had complimented him, petting a stray cat that Joshua had seen on the road.

They were all candid pictures of him taken during random times of the day. 

In the middle of the wall, the largest portrait of him that he had ever seen was hung—it was a picture of Joshua smiling brightly after receiving a bouquet of daisies. The smile was captured perfectly. 

It made Joshua breathless, making him unable to believe the person in the picture was really him.

This was the best he has ever looked. Joshua didn't know he was capable of looking this beautiful. 

Was this how the photographer saw him? This was Joshua through the lens of a lover, a devout admirer.

The door creaked open to reveal Jeonghan who had a guilty expression on his face.

Joshua exhaled a shaky breath, looking away from the pictures of himself. He walked towards the balcony without sparing Jeonghan a glance.

Jeonghan approached him slowly, hesitant footsteps echoing in the cold dark room.

“Joshuji, I-I am really sorry. I didn't mean to…..”

Joshua didn't look back, he only let out a weak chuckle, “What are you even apologizing for, Jeonghan?” He glanced at Jeonghan briefly, a tear rolling down his cheek, “People apologize when they feel sorry for something they did and wish to never do it again. But you are not sorry because you will not change. After saying sorry, you'll go back to being your perfect self and making a fool of myself at every chance that you get. Then what is the point of saying sorry, Jeonghan-ah?”

Jeonghan felt his heart sink hearing Joshua's words, the lack of emotions in his voice and the tears in his eyes. 

Jeonghan had never intended to do this. He had never meant to make the love of his life cry like this. Now the younger one looked so much in pain and it was all his fault.

“I…I never wanted to prove you wrong, Shua. I-I am not perfect but I'm not normal either. Before you came to Seoul, I had never tried being a good student nor a good human being. But just for you, I tried to be good this time so they would not have any reason to kick me out,” Jeonghan spoke hesitantly, his voice trembling slightly because he was afraid even his explanation would not be enough for Joshua to forgive him. And he wouldn't be able to live with that.

“I didn't want to maintain that same perfect image in front of you. Because I wanted you to see the real me, with all of my flaws and imperfections if you ever happen to fall in love with me. I did not do this to make a fool of you, Shua. I only ever wanted to be real in front of you. Please believe me,” Jeonghan begged, his voice thick with emotions.

Joshua swallowed the lump in his throat, “Then why did you deceive me, Jeonghan? Why did you make me live in the same apartment as you? They think I'm so crazy about you, I stalked you and did all of these. Do you think I could ever face them again after everything you have done to me so far?”

“I-I really didn't mean to, Shua. I had already moved everything out. I wanted to leave you alone completely. The apartments downstairs are all mine as well. I moved all of my things there. Only this room was left and I would have emptied it soon too. I didn't know you would call all of them—

“Then what about the rest? What are you going to do about the rest of the things you have done so far, Jeonghan?” Joshua spoke, looking Jeonghan in the eyes, “You always tell me that you love me. But what have you ever done to prove that? I don't remember ever being flattered or happy by anything you have done for me. I only remember feeling hurt and humiliated,”

Jeonghan bit his lips. His eyes were desperate and guilty. He wanted so badly to just say something, anything to prove that it wasn't like that. He didn't mean to make Joshua feel like that. He never meant to be a burden to Joshua. But he just didn't know what words to say to make Joshua believe that. 

He never had the right words nor the right actions to prove his love to Joshua. 

“Please don't ever doubt my love for you, Shua. Even if my entire life becomes a lie, my love for you will never change. I-I am sorry that I'm not good at showing it but I really love you. I love you a lot. More than myself. More than anything in this world—”

Joshua let the rest of the words fade out. The tears on his cheek had already dried out. The confession didn't make his heart skip a beat when this same love has made him suffer so much. He exhaled a shaky breath, looking at Jeonghan properly this time.

“You really love me, Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan did not hesitate to reply, “Yes, I do.”

“You said you would do anything for me. Do you really mean that?”

“Yes,”

“Then go outside and tell everyone the truth. Tell them what you have done to me so far. Everything,”

Jeonghan looked slightly shocked by what Joshua had just asked of him but he nodded nonetheless, no sign of hesitation whatsoever. If that's all he had to do in order to prove that his love for Joshua was real, then he would do so in a heartbeat, a million times.

“I will do it.”

Jeonghan might be a lot of things but he had never been a coward. He had nothing to lose after all. And nobody in that room aside from Joshua mattered to him.

In that room, in front of everyone, he went straight to the point. No beating around the bush, no sugarcoating, he just straight up confessed everything.

He confessed that he was not the perfect student that he portrayed himself as.

He confessed that everything Joshua had said about him so far was the truth.

He drank, he smoked, and he got into fights regularly.

He kissed Joshua on his first day at the university library.

He sent Joshua love letters.

This house was also given to Joshua because of his plan to keep Joshua close to him and safe under his care.

“I am sorry for ever giving you guys the illusion that I am perfect. But this is the truth about me. Joshua is completely innocent. He did nothing wrong,” Jeonghan said, his face not displaying any major emotion but only Jeonghan knew how nervous he was. Not because of the principal and his classmates standing in front of him. But because of Joshua. 

He wanted Joshua to see that he was being genuine. 

There was no ulterior motive behind his actions and he only wanted to prove to Joshua that his love for him was real.

All of them looked shocked and seemed to be speechless by this confession. But nobody dared to intervene. They all watched silently, the room filled with tension as Jeonghan continued.

“I know all of you are shocked. But that's not the end. I wouldn't have done this today if it weren't for my love for someone. I chose to reveal everything about myself today only because of that someone,”

Jeonghan's eyes drifted to Joshua who was not standing much apart from him. Joshua was not looking at him. The younger one was looking at anything but his face and Jeonghan felt his heart clenching in pain to see the one person he loved with his everything refusing to meet his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Jeonghan took a few steps towards Joshua and stopped a few feet away from him, “I am sorry, Shua. I know I have said this a lot of times already but it's never enough. I hope you forgive me for everything,” Jeonghan spoke softly. He ignored everyone in the room and only paid attention to Joshua, “I love you, Joshua. Even if you do not feel the same, I just want you to know that I love you and that's the biggest truth of my life. Please don't ever doubt my love for you.”

The sudden confession of Jeonghan left everyone speechless on their spot. They had never thought the most perfect guy in their university, the one who had never even looked at any person in the eyes was now confessing to someone.

Everyone shifted uncomfortably on their spot as the silence stretched. 

Joshua did not reply. He just turned his face away from Jeonghan.

Julie seemed completely heartbroken by the confession as she rushed out of the room. Suzy followed behind her, throwing Joshua an apologetic look for leaving all of a sudden.

Joshua gave a polite smile back. 

Mr. Byun took off his glasses and massaged his forehead, the day had been too stressful. It wasn't everyday one of his favorite students came out as a delinquent guy. Now he felt like he was the one having hallucinations.

Jeonghan didn't force Joshua to reply to him, nor did he say anything else. But Joshua's silence still suffocated him. He wished the younger one would at least say something—anything—instead of just staying silent like this.

Jeonghan was used to taking scolding and curse words from Joshua. But he wasn't used to Joshua's silence.

Right at that moment, the door opened to reveal Wonwoo who had just arrived. 

“Sorry, I got here late, Shua. Is everything alright?”

Joshua had called Wonwoo too along with the rest of the students but since he lived much far away from this apartment than everyone else, it took him longer to arrive.

Wonwoo walked in, noticing the tension in the room and how Joshua's usual bright smile wasn't there on his face.

Jeonghan didn't even have the chance to brace himself first for what happened next. Right in front of his eyes.

Joshua turned to Wonwoo, walked towards him, stood on his toe and kissed Wonwoo's cheek in front of everyone.

“I love you, Wonwoo,” Joshua said with a soft smile on his face. His hand cupped Wonwoo's cheek lightly.

There was shock evident on Wonwoo's face by the sudden confession but it was quickly replaced by a smile of his own as he hugged Joshua tightly, “I love you too, Shua.” he murmured, pulling the younger one impossibly closer to him. And Joshua just let him.

Jeonghan never knew what devastation felt like until that moment.

Everyone in that room looked at him in unison too. Because they had witnessed Jeonghan confessing to Joshua just a moment ago. But now that same Joshua was now kissing and hugging another man right in front of him.

They saw an expression on Jeonghan's face they had never seen before. What got them even more surprised was the tears in Jeonghan's eyes. They never thought the quiet stoic student who never spoke unless he was spoken to, who never showed any major emotion to them, would ever shed tears like this.

Jeonghan left the room without any sound. Even his footsteps were silent as he left discreetly. The sight of Joshua in another's arm was unbearable to him.

The car ride to Wonwoo's place was tense but not uncomfortable.

Joshua remained seated on the passenger seat silently while Wonwoo drove. 

There was an accomplished smile on Wonwoo's face, not too obvious but it was there. The result of Joshua's confession to him. 

But it seemed like that was not the case for Joshua. The smaller boy was not smiling.

Joshua looked gloomy, much to Wonwoo's dismay.

“You know…he has been disturbing my peaceful life since I was a kid,” Joshua said emotionlessly.

Wonwoo looked at him through the rear view mirror, listening to him patiently. He was ready to listen to Joshua complain about Jeonghan for the rest of the night. It wouldn't even bother him right now when he knew he had already won the race. 

Not only did Joshua choose him over Jeonghan, but also he did it right in front of Jeonghan.

Who knew Jeonghan was going to lose to him this pathetically?

“He even followed me to this university just to harass me. I have lost count of how many times I have rejected him already but he would still never leave me alone. Just as annoying and persistent as a gum stuck on your shoe,”

Wonwoo hummed in acknowledgement again, a slight smirk on his lips. It felt good to see just how much Joshua hated Jeonghan. And then Jeonghan had the audacity to tell him to back off a few months ago. As if he himself ever stood a chance. 

“Thank you so much, Wonwoo. I truly have no one but you to thank this for. For helping me getting rid of him—” Joshua's melodious voice rang around him. The younger one sounded genuine.

Wonwoo smiled, listening without interrupting him. It was always pleasant to hear Joshua speak sweetly to him like this.

“—for not embarrassing me in front of everyone. You are truly the best. Despite knowing that I do not have feelings for you, you still played along with me. You didn't push me away. I don't know what I would have done if you had rejected me there,” Joshua said sheepishly, an apologetic smile on his face.

The car screeched to a halt as Wonwoo pressed the brake all of a sudden. The smile on his face disappeared completely within a second hearing the younger's words. He looked at Joshua in shock.

But Joshua was not looking at him. It didn't look like the younger one was paying attention to his surroundings at all. He was only looking down, deep in thought and eyes on his hands which were awkwardly perched on top of his lap.

“I had to do this on the spot, Wonwoo. I have tried all the methods to get rid of him. But nothing ever worked. So it was my last option. To show him that I would not choose him at the end of the day no matter how many crazy stunts he pulls. And I'm hoping he really leaves me alone after this,” 

Wonwoo licked his lower lip, his hands turning white from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel as Joshua continued to speak, oblivious of the storm brewing inside his chest.

So all this time, Joshua's confession to him was fake? Just a stunt pulled by him in order to get rid of Jeonghan?

Wonwoo closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Suddenly, the feeling of winning didn't hit the same anymore.

Not when he did not win anything.

There was a restaurant right where he stopped the car. So they went there to have dinner.

They hadn't eaten anything anyway. 

Joshua would be living with him for the next few days until he got all of his belongings from Jeonghan's apartment and got a new place to stay. Wonwoo was happy to let him stay.

After dinner, Wonwoo bought Joshua a carrot cake as dessert. Joshua's favourite as he learnt a few days ago that Joshua had a huge sweet tooth.

Everything looked normal. They looked like a sweet couple. Wonwoo wished that was the truth. He hid his clenched fist under the table.

As Joshua ate quietly, he spoke all of a sudden, eyes melancholic, he has been looking like that since the car ride, “But one thing is for sure, Wonwoo. Jeonghan really does love me a lot. I can feel that,” he let out a bitter chuckle.

Wonwoo wanted to scoff but he held himself back, letting Joshua speak.

“In the beginning, I didn't even realize that he was the same Jeonghan who used to follow me around everywhere. His image was so perfect, so strong that even I was fooled for a while,”

Wonwoo's jaw clenched hearing Joshua's words. The younger one was so painfully oblivious of his surroundings.

Joshua played with his spoon absentmindedly, a small smile on his lips, “I feel like if Jeonghan wasn't pretending to be this perfect man, if he was really like this, I would have fallen for him for sure. No doubt,”

That was the final straw for Wonwoo who already hated hearing Jeonghan's name more than anything else.

It was infuriating how Joshua couldn't stop talking about Jeonghan despite harbouring so much hatred for the man. And Wonwoo felt sick of it. Jeonghan's mocking voice from that night played inside his mind like a broken record—

“Even in order to hate me, Joshua needs to feel me first and that is already enough,” 

And that was how Joshua's mind was completely occupied with the thoughts of Jeonghan.

Joshua took a spoonful of cake in his mouth, chewing slowly. His eyes looked sad again as he sighed, continuing.

“But how could I ever love him when he's always so inconsiderate of my feelings like this, Wonwoo-ya? Who even does all that for their love?” he said with a tired shake of his head, “Breaking someone's car for giving me a ride, threatening people who talk to me, compelling me to live with him. He was crossing every single line,”

Wonwoo tapped his fingers on the table, swallowing the urge to tell Joshua to stop talking about Jeonghan.

During moments like this, he was really able to see why Jeonghan was so confident that Joshua would come to fall in love with him someday. Because he consumed Joshua's thoughts like no other. 

Wonwoo realized that Joshua had spent a lot of time with Wonwoo so far but every single time the smaller boy only ever talked about Jeonghan, even if it was nothing but just him ranting about how Yoon Jeonghan annoyed him to no limit, it was still something. 

And Wonwoo couldn't let that something ever turn into anything more than hatred. 

He never liked to lose and he most definitely wouldn't like to lose to Yoon Jeonghan of all people ever. 

“Joshua,” he called out. His tone was serious.

The latter stopped eating and looked up at him. Curious doe eyes staring back at him and Wonwoo felt his heart skip a beat. 

No wonder everyone was crazy about Joshua. Those gorgeous eyes were capable of making people do any crimes in the world.

“I love you for real. I wasn't pretending in that room when I confessed to you,”

There was a beat of silence as Joshua processed his words, stuttering, “W-What?” his eyes were wide open in surprise.

“Yes, Joshua. I have liked you since the first day you asked me to give you a ride. And I have fallen even harder for you every single time you came to me to share your pain and struggle. I was a shoulder for you to lean on and I liked it a lot. While comforting you, I didn't even realize when I fell in love with you too.”

Joshua looked conflicted by the sudden confession. He had never seen it coming. 

“I-I didn't know. I'm so sorry….”

“It’s okay. I didn't tell you before so it's not your fault. I just want you to consider this proposal of mine and tell me your answer whenever you are ready. I will wait for you for as long as you need,”

Joshua nodded hesitantly, looking away. It was a lot to take in.

The day was already enough of a mess as it was but now he was slapped with another piece of surprise. 

Wonwoo had been in love with him all this time and Joshua didn't even know. How oblivious could he be?

Breaking Joshua's chain of thoughts, Wonwoo spoke again.

“Oh and if something bad happens to me in the meantime, don't be sad,”

The way Wonwoo said that with certainty didn't sit right with Joshua who didn't understand what he was pertaining to.

“B-Bad? W-What do you mean by that, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo let out a low chuckle, looking Joshua in the eye.

“If Jeonghan can break someone's car and their jaw for merely giving you a ride, do you really think he will not do anything to me after today's incident?”

Black car. Tinted glasses. Stickers of bubble gum and the letter ‘J’

The car came out of nowhere and crashed into the midnight blue car parked in the underground garage. 

The loud sound of the crash echoed everywhere. The midnight blue car belonged to Jeon Wonwoo from the engineering department. Everyone knew that. 

It looked like a targeted attack. 

People knew that the car with the bubble gum sticker didn't attack just anyone. The attack was always associated with Joshua.

A man with a leather jacket and glasses got out of the car, smirking at the sight of the now destroyed form of the midnight blue car. 

The car that belonged to him.

Jeon Wonwoo smirked, “Sad that I have to say goodbye to this new car of mine. But it's worth it if the prize is Joshua” he said looking at his midnight blue car that he had bought just a few months ago.

Wonwoo looked back at the black car he just got out of, the same model that Jeonghan had used to threaten the rest of Joshua's admirers. Wonwoo made sure to decorate it exactly like Jeonghan did. 

He licked his lower lip, anticipating what was about to happen next, “I will make sure you are permanently out of Joshua's head now after this incident, Yoon Jeonghan.”

Joshua rushed to the hospital in a hurry, his face completely pale as he held back tears. He searched for the reception area frantically.

From the reception, he got the number of the room Wonwoo was admitted in and he all but ran to the fifth floor, not even bothering to wait for the elevator.

And as Joshua stepped inside the room, he couldn't help but feel his heart clench in pain at the sight in front of him.

Wonwoo looked so pale on the hospital bed, the usual glow in his face was gone.

There was a bandage wrapped around the taller man's forehead. His cheekbone and the corner of his lips were bruised.

One of his hands was in a cast. The accident must have been bad, judging by Wonwoo's condition.

Wonwoo's basketball teammates and other students from his department were there too.

Joshua walked towards the taller man, holding his uninjured hand, breaking down in tears.

“I’m sorry, Wonwoo. I should have trusted you. I-I could have never known that Jeonghan would stoop this low,” Joshua said, his voice cracking as he tried to stop the tremor in his voice.

Wonwoo gave him a gentle smile, squeezing Joshua's hand in his palm, “It’s okay, Shua. Leave it be. Nothing happened to me,”

“How can I just leave it be, Wonwoo? I can't just sit here and do nothing while that man continues to harm every person involved with me. What if something serious had happened to you?” Joshua snapped, angry tears rolling down his cheek without any stop.

Wonwoo pressed his lips into a thin line, pulling the younger one into a side hug. Joshua let him, trying his best not to hurt Wonwoo.

Joshua sobbed in the taller man's arms, “What if the accident had killed you? I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself for that. How could that man do this to you even after knowing I loved you?” 

Right at that moment, Jeonghan stepped inside the room.

Jeonghan had just heard about the news of Wonwoo's accident from the other students. Everyone was talking about it. And judging by the circumstances they were in, Jeonghan was afraid that Joshua would believe that it had something to do with Jeonghan when he wasn't.

So, he came running here. Just to clarify that he was not behind it.

Joshua pulled away from Wonwoo's embrace and glanced at him, his gaze hardening as soon as it landed on him. 

He wiped his tears away harshly before releasing his hand from Wonwoo's grip.

Getting up, he walked towards Jeonghan. The coldness in the younger's red eyes pained Jeonghan to no end. 

Jeonghan opened his mouth to speak.

“Joshuji, it wasn't—”

The sound of a harsh slap echoed inside the hospital room.

Everyone flinched by the sudden violence from Joshua who had never done something like this before.

Jeonghan's face turned sideways from the impact as Joshua's hand came in contact with his cheek harshly. His cheek was already turning red.

“You will really never get better, will you?” Joshua asked sharply.

Jeonghan looked back at the younger one with hurt filled eyes.

Joshua's lips trembled as he spoke.

“I had confessed to Wonwoo in order to get rid of you. Because I thought you wouldn't at least hurt the person I love. But no. I was wrong. Because who the fuck was I kidding?”

Jeonghan's hand trembled beside him as Joshua spoke, every word laced with poison and thrown at him. Joshua had never looked at him with this much hatred before.

“You don't even know the meaning of love. You think snatching away something precious from someone is love. You thought kicking Wonwoo out of the picture would make me automatically love you, didn't you?” Joshua asked with gritted teeth, “Has it ever occurred to you, Jeonghan, that this kind of crazy lover stunt of yours doesn't work on real life people? This is not a movie that you thought obsessing over me would eventually make me love you back,”

Jeonghan wanted to deny the allegations. He wanted to say that it wasn't the truth at all. He didn't do anything this time. When he said that he wouldn't ever do anything to destroy Joshua's happiness, he had really meant it. He did not make any empty promises.

But before he could even open his mouth to clarify and prove his innocence, Joshua had already dropped the final words.

“From now on, I hate you even more than I already used to before. I despise your entire existence, Jeonghan,”

It felt like someone had just stabbed his heart with thousands of knives but maybe even that would hurt less than Joshua's words.

Joshua glared at him one last time before walking back to Wonwoo.

“You wanted an answer from me, didn't you? I'm ready now, Wonwoo. I love you. For real this time,” Joshua confessed in front of everyone. 

Jeonghan stared at the scene unblinking, feeling like his heart was getting ripped off his chest repeatedly, all within a few days. He had already felt this pain once when Joshua had confessed to Wonwoo back in his apartment. But now the feeling of pain was much more suffocating, much more gut wrenching when he knew that Joshua was being genuine this time.

“You're my first real love, Wonwoo. I only want you,” Joshua said to the taller one softly, holding Wonwoo's hand.

Wonwoo smiled back at him, kissing the back of Joshua's hand.

Jeonghan looked away from the sight to save himself the pain and left the room without any words.

He didn't even realize but his eyes were already wet with tears.

He walked and tears started to stream down his eyes uncontrollably. It was probably the first time he was ever letting himself cry like this without any restraint. Because he knew it would kill him right then and there if he held back the pain any longer.

Jeonghan had come here today solely to prove his innocence. But what would even be the point in proving anything anymore when Joshua had already made up his mind?

Joshua already knew who he wanted and it was not Jeonghan. It's not like Jeonghan's words were going to change anything.

If anything, he would probably cause Joshua just more suffering if he went in front of him again.

Maybe Wonwoo was right after all. 

Jeonghan had estimated his love too highly, he had thought too highly of himself and his loyalty. Because sometimes the amount of love and the amount of time you spent that love on someone didn't matter.

Not when the heart wants what it wants anyway. And Joshua's heart chose Wonwoo's.

Nothing would matter if fate wasn't on your side.

So maybe it was that same fate's way of deciding for Jeonghan again and showing him who Joshua would be happier with. Even if it killed Jeonghan slowly.

Chapter Text

Jeonghan didn't go to classes for the next few days.

Days, weeks passed by and he refused to appear in front of Joshua again.

If Joshua didn't want to see his face again, then Jeonghan would make sure not to show his face to him again. It's not like it even mattered anymore.

Now that he no longer had to pretend to be perfect, he didn't hide the fact that he drank and smoked like crazy. Drinking the pain away was the only way for him to alleviate the hurt a little bit now. Otherwise, he was afraid he would start spiralling soon.

He had spent more than half of his life chasing only Joshua and nobody else. Joshua has been the purpose in his life for the longest time. The only constant in his life. He started his day thinking about Joshua and ended it while thinking about Joshua too.

But now that he had finally lost him, Jeonghan didn't know what to do with his life anymore.

He felt hurt, he felt empty, he felt suffocated all at the same time.

Even staying at home all day didn't make it any easier. It was suffocating. It was messing with his mind. He saw Joshua everywhere. 

Getting out of the house, he went to the only place that he knew would somehow calm him down because no one ever visited that place aside from him.

Jeonghan sat on top of the rooftop of the abandoned house beside their university.

His eyes were completely bloodshot, staring blankly at the view ahead. His hair had grown longer and went past his chin now that he has stopped trimming it. His white shirt hung loosely on his frame.

Joshua's face kept appearing in his mind no matter how many times he tried to stop it. Joshua's smile. Joshua's eyes. Joshua's nose. Joshua's lips.

Joshua Joshua Joshua Joshua Joshua Joshua—

He finished bottles after bottles of alcohol in hopes of forgetting about Joshua. He lost count of the number of cigarettes he smoked. But nothing helped.

Because a love as old as his just didn't go away so easily.

As he sipped on the bottle of alcohol in his hand, he didn't take notice of the footsteps behind him. He felt a tap on his shoulder all of a sudden.

Jeonghan turned around out of instinct but he was met with a punch on the side of his face, making him stumble backwards. He was sitting on the spot so he was not prepared for the blow.

Jeonghan tasted blood inside his mouth, the metallic taste of it made him spit it out immediately as he wiped the corner of his lips.

“This is for all the times you harassed Joshua.”

Jeonghan looked up and felt his blood boil to see that it was none other than Wonwoo who had just hit him out of nowhere.

Jeonghan clenched his fist. He was still not over this bastard lying on his name to make Joshua hate him. But now that Jeonghan was finally trying his best to get over Joshua, he had the audacity to come in front of him and even hit him.

If only Joshua didn't love this bastard, Jeonghan would have—

Jeonghan licked his bloodied lip clean and got up on his feet. 

Wonwoo walked closer to him but Jeonghan stood his ground, holding his gaze.

“You said that Joshua would never choose me, didn't you?” Wonwoo spoke, pushing at Jeonghan's shoulder arrogantly, “Now look at you being completely pathetic and alone,”

Another strong push from the younger one made Jeonghan stagger backwards.

Still, Jeonghan didn't say anything. He exhaled a breath to calm himself down. He was not even in the mood to play this game. He did not understand why Wonwoo came here to say this to him. He already got Joshua. Now what the fuck did he want more? 

To rub it in Jeonghan's face that he didn't stand a chance? 

To mock Jeonghan about his fate?

To show Jeonghan that Joshua finally chose him?

Of course, Wonwoo would do that. Everything was a competition to this bastard after all.

Jeonghan's gaze hardened but he controlled the urge to punch Wonwoo back.

“Where is all the talk now, Jeonghan? Where did all the arrogance go?” Wonwoo tilted his head, “Just admit that you never had a chance to begin with. Joshua was meant to be mine since the beginning,”

Jeonghan's jaw clenched.

Wonwoo cornered him until his feet reached the edge of the rooftop, “Joshua slapped you that day in front of everyone,” he smirked, mocking Jeonghan before clicking his tongue, “He should have slapped you more. You deserve it for all the times you terrorized him and made him cry,”

Wonwoo's hand connected with his shoulder and pushed him backwards abruptly, no doubt trying to make Jeonghan fall off the edge.

This time Jeonghan was prepared for whatever trick Wonwoo had up his sleeve so he was able to move away from the edge of the rooftop before he lost balance. But Wonwoo was not prepared for that. 

Despite being drunk, Jeonghan moved too fast for Wonwoo's liking and it caught Wonwoo completely off guard, making him stumble on his feet.

His leg caught on a twig and twisted, making him slip.

It happened with the blink of an eye. One second Wonwoo was standing near the edge, another second he was hanging from the rooftop.

Jeonghan let out a chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. It was almost ironic how Wonwoo had tried to harm him today by pushing him off the edge but now he had fallen into his own trap.

Without any care for Wonwoo's groans of pain and how he was struggling to hold on, Jeonghan sat only a foot away from the edge, from where Wonwoo was hanging. He lit a cigarette and took a puff out of it, relishing in Wonwoo's pained groans. 

There's no doubt that his fingers were splintering from trying to hold on to the edge too tight. If he dropped from the spot, he was sure to break a few bones. The idea didn't sound so bad in Jeonghan's mind.

“Fuck!” Wonwoo cursed, gritting his teeth.

Sadistically, Jeonghan watched Wonwoo struggle, without doing anything to help him. 

The house was abandoned so there was moss everywhere, every spot slippery. So even if Wonwoo was athletic, he was at a disadvantage here. He would not be able to pull himself up even if he tried to.

Jeonghan smirked, taking another puff out of his cigarette and blowing the smoke. He was enjoying this far too much. More than he should have.

Jeonghan was lowkey waiting for Wonwoo to beg him to help him. He knew he was petty for doing this. It's not like it would not make Joshua miraculously his. But it would still be nice for his ego to be stroked a little bit after everything this self-centered bastard has done so far to bring Jeonghan down.

However, it seemed like Wonwoo wasn't ready to bow down to Jeonghan anytime soon.

Just when his hands slipped, Jeonghan reached forward and grabbed one of his hands, preventing the fall.

Wonwoo looked completely shocked that Jeonghan had decided to help him.

“What will happen if I drop you now, Jeon Wonwoo?” Jeonghan smiled, it was almost sinister. He tilted his head, “Maybe you will break your legs or tear a few ligaments. Maybe you won't be able to play basketball or football for our team again. How does it feel to be at my mercy now?”

Wonwoo gritted his teeth, holding back the urge to curse at Jeonghan. 

“I would drop you, you know. You purposely turned Joshua against me, twisted the narrative to portray me as this murderous guy who would not hesitate to kill anybody just to have Shua. I should prove that right now, don't you think? By dropping you from here? I'm itching to kill you for doing what you did,” Jeonghan loosened his grip only slightly, as if to make that point, making Wonwoo's eyes widen in panic.

But then Jeonghan clicked his tongue and gripped Wonwoo's hand tighter, pulling him up a bit, “But I won't do that. Do you know why?”

Wonwoo remained completely silent, his jaw tight and eyes blazed with fire. But there was also an underlying fear in his eyes. It looked like the arrogant Jeon Wonwoo was not so arrogant anymore now that his future as a basketball player was threatened.

“Because as much as I hate you, if something happened to you, I know my Joshuji will be sad. And if my Joshuji is sad, I will be sad too,”

Jeonghan shook his head in before pulling Wonwoo up in one strong pull. They landed together on the rooftop with a loud thud, groaning in pain

They didn't move for the next few seconds. Lying on the rooftop, they caught their breaths.

Jeonghan turned his head to the side, chuckling slightly, “Didn’t I promise you that if one day Joshua falls for you, I will back off? Here you go now. I am not in your way anymore. So you can stop treating me like your enemy,” he paused for a second, swallowing the lump in his throat, “He’s yours now and I won't do anything to separate you two. I meant it when I said that I will do anything for Shuji’s happiness.”

His speech slurred at the end, giving it away that he was a bit drunk. But Jeonghan knew what he was saying. He was fully aware of his words and actions.

Wonwoo didn't reply. He shut his eyes, breathing heavily.

Right at that moment, Wonwoo's phone started ringing loudly.

Taking the phone out of his pocket, he realized that Joshua was calling him. The younger one wasn't supposed to be calling him right now. 

Frowning, Wonwoo sat up, picking up the call quickly, “Hello, Shua? What happened? You said you'd be too busy to call me for the next few days,”

Jeonghan got up along with him too, listening to their conversation.

Joshua's voice was desperate and worried on the other side of the line.

“W-Wonwoo. I'm not in Seoul anymore. My dad somehow found out that I was in a relationship with a man in the University. So he had his men forcibly bring me to our family house back in Busan,”

Wonwoo's frown deepened, “What? Where did they take you?”

“My family house. It's in Busan but not in the city. They live in the countryside village because my grandfather used to run this place and now my dad is back to take over. He's planning to use me here for one of his promises that he made to someone,”  

They could hear Joshua sniffling on the other side. He must be so scared right now, judging by his tone. Jeonghan clenched his fist tightly. 

“My dad is a very stubborn man, Wonwoo. Once he makes up his mind, he doesn't listen to anyone. He didn't even want me to come to Seoul for this very reason. He was planning to do this sooner or later anyway,”

Wonwoo ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Who knew they would face a predicament like this? They had been together just last night. Joshua was on his bed. Wonwoo kissed him, held him, and touched him just last night. And now the younger one was gone just like that. How could he have let this happen?

“Don’t cry, Shua. Nothing will happen to you. You can convince him to let you come back to Seoul, right?”

Joshua's sniffling didn't stop from the other side. If anything, his crying only got louder. The younger one didn't say anything for a few seconds before dropping his next words. 

It left both Wonwoo and Jeonghan shocked and frozen on their spots.

“N-No. They are marrying me off to a guy here, Wonwoo. Everything is happening too fast. I don't even know this guy like that but they arranged this marriage for resolving some kind of internal conflicts that I had no idea about until recently,”

“What?! The fuck is wrong with your family?” Wonwoo gritted his teeth in anger. Who even arranged marriage in this age and time, “Listen to me, shua. This marriage cannot happen, do you understand? You have to run away by any chance,”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes from the other side. That's easier said than done. As someone who knew very well about Joshua and his family, Jeonghan of all people knew how serious this matter was.

Joshua spoke from the other side,

“You are not being reasonable right now, Wonwoo. I have zero freedom in this house. They will even take away my phone soon. Running away is not a choice because everyone in this area knows that I'm from the Hong family. My dad and uncles literally run the entire town—”

“Then I'm going there, Shua—”

“No, Wonwoo! It’s dangerous—”

Before Joshua could finish his sentence, they heard a loud sound of crack coming from the phone as the call ended. It almost sounded like someone caught Joshua off guard on the other side and the phone dropped from his hand. 

Wonwoo tried calling back a few more times but it said the number was unreachable right now.

Wonwoo cursed loudly. He punched the railing of the rooftop hard.

“I’m going to Busan. I can't let Joshua marry someone else,” he said instantly. There was no one there aside from Jeonghan which meant it was directed to him.

Jeonghan could only chuckle at that moment. 

Fate had weird ways of playing with people. Just an hour ago, Jeonghan was contemplating what to do with his life anymore now that Joshua was finally Wonwoo's. 

But now Joshua did not belong to Wonwoo either. He was taken away by his dad forcefully to marry another guy, leaving Wonwoo in a state of mess here.

“Don’t even think about that. That area in Busan abides by no laws. It's run by Shua's family. You will get killed within a second of you putting your feet there as soon as they find out that you are Joshua's boyfriend,”

Wonwoo clenched his fist tightly, jaw tight, “Then what the fuck are you suggesting? Do you think I should just sit here and do nothing while Joshua gets married to another man there?”

Jeonghan licked his lower lip, deep in thought. There were not many options laid out there in front of them but he knew what to do.

“You stay here. I will go to Busan.” Jeonghan said.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

Jeonghan licked his lower lip, eyes determined.

“No, I'm serious. If there's anyone here who knows more about Joshua and his family's history, it's me. I will go there and stop the marriage,”

Wonwoo was in complete disbelief. So before he could run his mouth and get into another fight with Jeonghan, Jeonghan decided to tell him the real deal about Joshua's family.

He explained everything. Starting from how Joshua's grandfather ruled that town called Jeonju to how killing and murdering is so normalized in that place.

Joshua was born there. But for his father's work, they had moved to LA when Joshua was barely five. More than half of Joshua's life was spent in LA. He occasionally came to Korea with his parents for Christmas to spend it with the rest of their family.

However, a few months ago, Joshua's grandfather died and that resulted in Joshua's parents moving back to South Korea permanently along with him. 

The exact purpose was unknown to most but everyone concluded that it was because of another ruling family besides the Hong family. A certain family that was enemies with Joshua's own one were just waiting to claim the entire town after Joshua's grandfather's death.

Since the Hong family have been ruling Jeonju generation after generation, now it was Joshua's father's time to take over. 

After Joshua came to Korea, he started begging his parents to let him come to Seoul.

They had a traditional family so of course no one agreed to let Joshua come to Seoul all alone for his studies. But Joshua had somehow managed to convince them all to let him study in Hwangnam University. Joshua was so happy to come here but he didn't know that his father had sent men to look out for him.

Jeonghan hadn't known about this until this moment. 

Now everything made sense. 

The men outside of Joshua's first apartment that Jeonghan had noticed a few months ago.

Another bunch of men who waited outside of their University often.

Men wearing masks and caps around Joshua when he went shopping.

Well, around that time, Jeonghan was stalking Joshua too. So it would have been hypocritical of him if he found anything wrong with them. They never talked to or bothered Joshua. They just existed. If anything, Jeonghan was also everywhere Joshua went. 

Which is why he didn't pay much attention to them at that time.

But now he found out that those men were sent by Joshua's father to keep an eye on Joshua. And as soon as they noticed that Joshua was going out with Wonwoo every day, they informed Mr. Hong about it.

“How the fuck do you know so much about his family?” Wonwoo asked, giving Jeonghan a skeptical look.

Jeonghan let out a chuckle in disbelief. He looked at Wonwoo like he was the stupidest man on this planet.

Wonwoo was standing beside him. So he raised a brow at him.

“Did you fucking forget that I have been stalking Joshua for 12 years? I have his entire birthchart memorized too. Why would I not know about his family?”

Jeonghan muttered underneath his breath before rolling his eyes. He threw away the last bottle of alcohol that he was holding before cracking his knuckles. 

Enough drinking for the last few weeks. He needed to be sober now in order to ensure Joshua's happiness. Guess he still had something to do in his life.

“You said that my life is at risk there for being Joshua's lover. So I can't go there. But doesn't the same thing apply to you too?” Wonwoo spoke up, looking at Jeonghan, “What makes you think that they wouldn't kill you too for trying to stop the wedding?”

Jeonghan smirked, tapping his fingers on the railing lazily, “You don't need to worry about my safety. I'll be just fine,”

Wonwoo still looked skeptical. The fact that Jeonghan was willing to go to Joshua and break this marriage on behalf of him didn't sit right with him. Jeonghan was supposed to hate him. So why was he helping him get Joshua back?

“I don't trust you at this moment. What made you think that I would ever trust you with Joshua?”

Jeonghan ignored Wonwoo's condescending tone and just slid his hands inside his pocket, shrugging, “I thought I made it clear a long time ago that I'm willing to do anything for Joshua's happiness,” he glanced at Wonwoo only briefly, “And he's crying right now over there, all by himself. He clearly doesn't want to marry whoever his fiance is. So I gotta do whatever I can do bring him back to the one who actually makes him happy—”

Jeonghan looked away from him, his eyes hardening for a second, masking the bitterness.

“—even if the one who makes him happy is actually you.”

Jeonghan did some more research on Joshua's family and tried to find out what was the deal with Jeonju.

There were two prominent clans in Jeonju city. The Hong clan and the Kim clan. Both clans were rich, powerful and arrogant for their respective legacies. 

The locals said that the two clans had been butting heads with each other for over a century, for three generations. It started when Joshua's great-great-grandfather killed an heir of the Kim clan during a physical fight.

The Hong clan claimed that it was an accident and they brought proof for it too but the then Kim clan refused to believe it back then, resulting in their century long rivalry. 

At present, the two clans lived far away from each other and ruled their respective areas. People from one area weren't allowed to go to the other area without permission. Blood and violence was common in that small town. 

Joshua's father, Hong Jaehyuk recently came back from the states to take over their family business as the heir who was next in line after his father's death.

Immediately after returning to Jeonju, the first thing that Hong Jaehyuk did was devise a plan to cease the century long enmity between the two clans. The feud that started a long time ago on the basis of petty grudges, without any baseless proof, had to come to an end one way or another. Enough men from both families had lost their lives due to this feud. So it was time to resolve this fight.

Now Joshua's father only wanted peace. 

So, he sent a proposal to the Kim clan a few months ago. A treaty where both clans would agree to a marriage between the two heirs to establish peace. An alliance would form between the two families and the century long feud would finally come to an end.

That's how Joshua's marriage was fixed with the heir of the Kim clan, Kim Mingyu, the one and only son of Kim a long time ago.

As soon as Joshua had stepped his feet in Jeonju, his pictures, his hobbies and his everything was sent to the Kim clan, for their beloved son, Kim Mingyu to see if he liked Joshua enough to marry him.

From what Jeonghan got from his private investigators, they said that Kim Mingyu had agreed to the marriage immediately after seeing Joshua's pictures. 

Jeonghan had to scoff hearing that piece of information. Of course he would agree. Men would be crazy if they saw Joshua and didn't fall for him immediately.

Jeonghan would make sure this wedding and alliance do not become successful at any cost.

Taking off his sunglasses, Jeonghan took a look around that place. It looked like a typical small town where people were acquainted with everyone that lived there. Everyone was one call away from each other, hospitable and kind.

As Jeonghan walked with his bag, some elderly people smiled at him and asked him whether he needed any help with anything. Jeonghan probably looked a bit out of place there with his tall frame, leather jacket and skinny jeans. 

Everyone was able to tell that he was not from Jeonju. He had to be from the city. Jeonghan shook his head no. He didn't need help with anything.

He brought his favourite pet—his goldfish along with him too. This was his lucky charm. So if he was going to stay here for a purpose as important as this one, he would need this silly fish with him.

He didn't have to walk for too long as a Jeep stopped by his side. Bless the village people for being so hospitable.

“You look new here. Where are you heading to?” a middle aged man who was driving the Jeep asked Jeonghan. Another man was sitting beside him.

“To the Hong mansion.” Jeonghan replied.

“Hong mansion? What a coincidence! I work there. Please get in. I will bring you there,” the man who was driving offered kindly.

Jeonghan smiled, thanking them before getting into the Jeep. The man introduced himself as Daejung. Apparently he had been working for the Hong family for years. 

The vehicle moved for a few minutes. Jeonghan enjoyed the pretty scenery around himself. All of a sudden, they heard a commotion from afar. Some shouting and curse words. 

Jeonghan expected them all to stop the Jeep to take a look at what was happening.

A man was running away from a group of men while that group chased him with knives and other weapons.

The sight made Jeonghan take off his sunglasses, mouth agape in shock. What the fuck was happening…..

It looked like Jeonghan was the only one who was shocked by this sight because the other two men with him on the Jeep looked completely unfazed.

They probably noticed Jeonghan's shocked Pikachu face as they chuckled.

“It’s normal around here, boy. That guy is from the other side of the village that's ruled by the Kim clan but he had the audacity to hit on a girl from our side of the village,” Daejung spoke lightheartedly, shaking his head, “Now he's gonna lose one of his limbs. Poor guy really thought he had a chance,”

Jeonghan licked his lower lip, taking in this new piece of information. Going for people's limbs for something as trivial as this? It seemed like his investigators were not lying when they said that these two clans were always out for each other's blood.

They reached the Hong mansion quickly, “There. This is where our master lives. Hahaha,”

Jeonghan nodded, getting down from the Jeep.

“By the way, you didn't tell me the reason why you came here. You are from the city, right? What brings you here to the Hong mansion?” Daejung asked.

Jeonghan took a look around the place, tapping his finger on the fishbowl on his hands, “I am Joshua's friend from Seoul,” he replied casually.

“Young master Jisoo's friend? But I thought he was not allowed to make any friends in Seoul…” Daejung mumbled to himself, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Jeonghan ignored the man's midlife crisis and walked forward. Daejung followed closely behind him.

As soon as Jeonghan stepped his feet inside the place through the front door, a group of men approached them. They were all built like they did wrestling every week. Their stance was defensive to see a new man inside the Hong place.

“Who is this city boy you brought, Daejung? We're already busy preparing for the young master's wedding. What business does he have here?” one of them who looked in charge asked, looking at Daejung.

“He is young master's frien—”

Just as Daejung was about to introduce Jeonghan, a deep voice called out from the patio of the mansion. 

“Who is there?” 

It was Hong Jaehyuk, Joshua's father. He seemed to be in the middle of an important meeting with some other people. But he paused the meeting for a few seconds when he noticed Jeonghan on the front door.

Everyone went silent hearing Mr. Hong’s voice. It was clear that he was a well respected man around there. Jeonghan was not easily fazed by anything or anyone but even he was a little bit intimidated by Joshua's father.

“Go. Master is calling you,” one of them said, urging Jeonghan to go forward.

Jeonghan turned to Daejung and handed him over his fishbowl containing his goldfish, “Daejung hyung, take care of my fish until I return,”

With that, Jeonghan walked towards the patio.

Daejung panicked, looking at the fish once and then at Jeonghan's back, “B-But what will I do with the fish if he doesn't return?”

Jeonghan walked slowly, taking notice of everything around him. The front yard was filled with many people. Some were preparing for the wedding and some were sharpening their big knives, some were even chopping wood with their big axes. 

Jeonghan was sure axes, knives and guns were not required for a wedding but this family didn't seem to play about their reputation of being bloodthirsty animals. Otherwise why did they look like they were preparing for a battle instead of a wedding. They said that the Hong clan do not hesitate to assassinate anyone who might potentially tarnish their reputation.

Jeonghan stood a few metres away from Hong Jaehyuk. The older man fixed his stare on him.

“Who are you, dear?” he asked gently.

Jeonghan hadn't expected the man to be so kind but he recalled that this same man had the blood of several people on his hands. So Jeonghan shouldn't get too smart.

Jeonghan realized that everyone was waiting for his answer. The people who were chopping wood at the side seemed to be extra aggressive with their work while staring at Jeonghan like they would chop him next. The people who were sharpening knives on the other side looked like bloodthirsty animals who were just itching to use those knives against someone.

Jeonghan felt scared only for a brief second before preparing his heart again for what he was about to say next.

“I am Joshua's lover. From Seoul.”

The events of the next few seconds happened like a flash.

There were at least 20 different knives pointed at his throat from all directions. If he moved even an inch, it would slice his neck for sure.

Hong Jaehyuk had to get up from his seat in bewilderment and at his audacity. The other men looked like they were just waiting for Jaehyuk’s command to kill him.

Jeonghan dramatically raised his hand to show that he meant no harm, “H-Hey, you people are too impulsive. I never said that Joshua and I love each other. We're not boyfriends. I only said that I love Joshua because that's the truth. And it doesn't matter at this moment because he doesn't love me at all. You can even ask him. He hates my gut,” he clarified.

Hearing the commotion, Joshua came to his balcony to see what was happening downstairs. His room was on the second floor and his eyes went wide open when he realized Jeonghan was there in the front yard of their house and their men were ready to kill him.

Joshua facepalmed, this stress would kill him first before they could kill Jeonghan, “This fool managed to come here as well. Who knows what he will do here,”

Hearing Jeonghan's reply, the deep frown on Jaehyuk's face didn't disappear but he told his men to lower their knives and other weapons. They had probably thought that Jeonghan was Joshua's boyfriend from the city but since that was not the case here, they were having mercy.

Jeonghan heaved out a sigh in relief before speaking up, “Mr. Hong, I'm not making anything up. I have heard a lot of things about you. You arranged for your one and only son to marry your enemy's son in order to end the dispute between the two clans. Because you want peace and safety for everyone. You do not want any more bloodshed on this land. In front of such a noble man like you, I couldn't bring myself to be dishonest. So I am coming clean that I'm one of the guys in the University who loved Joshua like crazy. I am not his boyfriend,”

Jaehyuk looked away, his eyes softening just for a fraction of a second hearing Jeonghan's words.

Joshua's grandma and his mother were sitting on the other side of the patio. They looked sympathetic to Jeonghan's feelings too. Jeonghan took notice of everything from the corner of his eyes. Maybe it was a village people thing but everyone was empathetic here in a way.

Jeonghan chuckled inwardly. He wished Joshua was raised in the village too so he would have grown up to be more empathetic to Jeonghan's feelings just like his mother and grandmother. 

Jeonghan didn't think he ever saw Joshua smiling at him with real kindness.

Looking back at Jaehyuk, Jeonghan continued,

“I respect you, Mr. Hong. But look at your men. Without even hearing my words fully, they were ready to kill me. I bet they would have already done that if it weren't for your intervention—”

One of those men who looked like the senior among them—his name was Minho if Jeonghan remembered correctly—raised his knife again, pointing in Jeonghan's direction.

“You have too much audacity for speaking like this in front of the Master. How dare you?”

Jaehyuk raised his hand to motion for the man to stop, “Minho don't,”

Jeonghan stopped the urge to give a middle finger in Minho's direction as he shoved his hands inside his pocket, shaking his head in amusement, “See. This is what I was talking about. Everything and everyone in this clan—your weapons, your men, your blood is filled with nothing but only malice. That's why you guys kill people over the silliest reason. You're forcing Joshua to get married to the enemy's son. But just imagine what would happen if there was even a small misunderstanding on the day of the wedding. It wouldn't take two seconds for the wedding ceremony to turn into a funeral ceremony because of this kind of aggressive mentality,”

The men who had once pointed their weapons at Jeonghan had the decency to look mildly ashamed as they all looked down. 

Jaehyuk seemed to be processing Jeonghan's words, seeing his point.

Joshua's grandmother nodded her head, her face was emotional. She was telling something to her daughter in law about how Jeonghan was correct.

Jeonghan looked Jaehyuk in the eyes and spoke again, “Forgive me for saying this, Mr. Hong. I thought I would stay here until Joshua's marriage is over. But after seeing the condition of this clan’s mentality, I don't think this marriage will take place,”

Jaehyuk's eyes got wide for a second, hearing his words. Jeonghan's words seemed to have hit a nerve. 

Joshua's grandmother sniffled into her palm, “I have been saying this from the beginning, Jaehyuk. Don't let my Jisoo marry into that Kim family. They are literal animals. My poor grandson will not be happy there,”

Joshua's mother comforted her mother in law.

Jeonghan pressed his lips into a thin line. He should not feel like laughing in this serious situation but he couldn't help it. He didn't know his manipulation power would work this well.

He let out a dramatic sigh, gradually taking a few steps back, “Since the marriage will not be successful anyway, I guess I should just take my leave now,”

The men looked back at Jaehyuk, waiting for the man's approval to do something. It looked like they all were thinking about the same thing. They couldn't just let Jeonghan go after he so confidently claimed that their young master's wedding would not happen.

Jaehyuk nodded at his men, giving them the okay sign to stop Jeonghan from leaving.

“W-Wait a minute, mister. We are extremely sorry for our behavior earlier and acting impulsively,” Minho apologized, chuckling awkwardly, “It’s just we are all so protective of young master Jisoo that as soon as you said that you're his lover, we couldn't control our temper. Now that you have explained yourself, we have no complaints. We have changed now hahahaha,”

He dropped his weapons and urged the rest of the men to drop theirs as well, “What are you guys looking at? Keep those things away. We can't be violent when our young master's wedding is right around the corner,”

Everyone did as they were told. They all dropped their weapons.

Jeonghan clicked his tongue, not looking convinced as he shook his head, “No. I don't think you guys have changed at all,”

Minho frowned, “We really have changed. Just look at us,” he showed his empty hands, trying to appear harmless.

Right at that time, a teenage boy from the Hong family came running from outside. He was panting as he spoke, “Uncle uncle!! The Kim clan leader and his men are coming right in this direction in lots of cars,”

Minho and his squad immediately picked up their weapons again that they had just dropped a minute ago. They all looked defensive like they were ready for a war with the mere mention of the Kim clan members coming to their mansion.

Jeonghan looked at them in amusement like they just proved his point.

“Well, I see how much you guys have changed. I thought the Kim family were your relatives now that Joshua was engaged to their son. Then why did you pick up your weapons back?” Jeonghan asked sarcastically.

Jaehyuk sighed, walking forward slowly. He had already dismissed the meeting with his business partners long ago, “He is right, Minho. We only know fighting and bloodshed. If this keeps going on for too long, the marriage won't be able to take place. We really have to change our ways.”

“But master it's the Kim clan we're talking about. Can we really trust them—”

Jaehyuk put his hand on Minho's shoulder, “It’s not like that. This marriage is taking place in the first place to strengthen that trust and bond between us. We have to trust the Kim clan and the Kim clan have to trust us,”

Jeonghan let out a chuckle, hearing Joshua's father's words as he coughed into his palm.

Jaehyuk's eyes twitched. He didn't like how confident Jeonghan was about this marriage not happening, “And you,” he walked closer to Jeonghan, “Why are you laughing? You think this marriage will not take place? This marriage will take place and I will make sure of that. It will be the biggest wedding in the entire town. It will be successful.”

Jaehyuk placed a hand on his shoulder firmly, “And you will watch this grandiose wedding taking place with your own eyes by staying here,”

He looked towards Minho's direction,“Minho?”

“Yes, master”

“From today onwards, Jeonghan is my special guest. Take his belongings inside and make special arrangements for his living,”

Minho nodded his head, calling out some men to take Jeonghan's bags and put them inside.

Jeonghan smirked. It seemed that his manipulation skills were still just as good as it was before. The first step to cancel this wedding was already accomplished.

Jeonghan looked up to find that Joshua was standing on his balcony and staring at him. Jeonghan winked at him, catching Joshua completely off guard. He watched as the younger one's mouth opened in shock and bewilderment.

Jeonghan ignored his glares and cracked his knuckles. 

Now it was time to meet Joshua's soon to be in-laws.

Kim Minhyuk, the leader of the Kim clan, got out of his expensive black car and took a look around himself. He looked amused and smug.

“Such a unique character I have! The same Hong family that I had once vowed to erase from the surface of the earth is now going to be my relative. And I'm letting my son marry their son. Hahahaha!” 

His right hand man laughed, holding the clan leader's beloved dog in his arms. 

The other men he brought along with him laughed too. 

The Hong clan members, led by Hong Jaehyuk, were approaching them from afar after getting the news that they were coming today. 

Both groups of people kept their eyes on each other as they walked.

Kim Minhyuk whispered to his right hand man skeptically, “Be prepared for any attack. Those Hong men can never be trusted. You will never know what they have up their sleeves,”

His right hand man nodded. Their men walked with a defensive posture, ready to retaliate if they saw any sign of attack from the Hong clan.

Jeonghan was also walking along with the Hong family. He whispered to Minho who was beside him, “Is this the family Joshua is marrying into? They look like clowns,”

Minho stifled a laugh. He coughed to hide that before telling Jeonghan to keep quiet.

But Jeonghan had other plans. He smirked, speaking again, “You guys are trusting them. That's a good thing. But do they trust you?”

Minho answered immediately.

“I don't know but Master said that we must trust them and forget our past conflict so we can't do anything about it,”

Jeonghan let out a low whistle at that. Judging by the body language of every man from the Kim side, they did not trust the Hong clan all that much. They were walking towards them stiffly. Jeonghan knew exactly why they were behaving in such a paranoid manner.

Jeonghan smirked before devising a plan.

He looked at the Kim clan leader dead in the eye and put his arm behind his back like he was taking out something. A glint of steel was seen only for a brief second in his hand as he tried to take out whatever it was from his back.

Jeonghan watched as the Kim clan leader visibly got alert by this movement of his and halted his steps. 

The entire Kim clan all took out their knives and weapons that they had been hiding behind their back all along after suspecting that Jeonghan was about to take out a weapon. But as soon as they realized that none of the Hong clan members had any weapons on them, they stilled. They were so dumbfounded. 

Jeonghan let out his gremlin laugh, “I was only taking out my favorite pen hehe,” he showed them the pen made of steel that he just took out of his back pocket.

Kim Minhyuk started sweating bullets as he tried to play it off as cool, “P-Pen? Favourite pen Hahahaha. And these are our knives. O-Our favorite knives.”

Jeonghan smirked and then whispered to Minho, “See how much they trust you. They had weapons with them all along,”

Hong Jaehyuk's eyes hardened, looking at them with pure disappointment in his eyes, “What is this behavior, Minhyuk? Why are you carrying weapons?”

The Kim clan leader paled as he scrambled to explain himself.

“Weapons? No! Hahahaha it's not what you think it is. We only brought them to offer them at your feet as a sign of our allegiance to this new relationship. From today, there's no enmity between you and me.”

Minhyuk dropped his knife in front of Joshua's father's feet. He then looked at his other men, urging them to do the same as well, “What are you fools looking at? Go offer your knives and weapons at Jaehyuk's feet!”

Everyone did as they were told to, dropping their weapons at Joshua's father's feet.

Jeonghan could barely contain his yawn from the side as he watched this drama unfold.

Minhyuk stepped forward to hand Jaehyuk an expensive looking card, “I came here today to show you the invitation card of the wedding. The wedding is in a week after all. My son is so eager to see Joshua on the day of the wedding hahaha,”

Jaehyuk nodded, accepting the card. No major emotion on his face. 

Afterwards, the leaders of both the clans exchanged hugs and then bid each other goodbye.

Jeonghan smirked once again as soon as the cars of the Kim clan left. 

The second step of his plan to cancel this wedding was accomplished too.

The seed of doubt was already planted in Jaehyuk's mind after Minhyuk failed to show his trust in the Hong clan today. 

Now Jeonghan would have to pull just a few more strings to make sure this wedding doesn't take place at any cost.

Jeonghan knocked on Joshua's bedroom twice. Everybody was busy with the preparation for the grand wedding that's taking place in a week and the mansion was also huge. So no one noticed Jeonghan meeting with the groom that he was in love with during these busy days.

The door opened and Jeonghan watched as Joshua's eyes went wide after seeing his face.

Before Jeonghan could ask whether he could come in, Joshua had already tugged at his arm and pulled him inside.

Clicking the door shut, Joshua glared at Jeonghan. Jeonghan noticed that Joshua's eyes were wet with tears and swollen around the edges.

Had the younger one been crying?

“What are you doing here again, Jeonghan? You even followed me up to Busan. Where is Wonwoo? Why did you come in his stead?! I told you that I never want to see your face again but here you are again—”

Jeonghan took a step back as Joshua continued coming closer to him, looking like he would hit Jeonghan anytime now. The younger one looked so mad, “Joshuji, please calm down first. I will explain everything—”

“No! I don't want to listen to your bullshit. I know your intentions very well. You are here to snatch me away from Wonwoo, aren't you? Because you know Wonwoo's life is at risk here. So you took your chance and came running here,” Joshua looked completely hysterical at that moment as he pointed his finger at Jeonghan's chest.

He gripped Jeonghan's collar hard and glared at him again. He had cried day and night for the last few days. Without any stop. He knew his life was already ruined as soon as his father declared that he would have to marry their enemy's son. But now Jeonghan was here to make it worse. Joshua didn't understand why it had to be him always. 

Why did it always have to be him who had to suffer?

“I stepped my foot on your fucking gum during childhood. Do I have to suffer for the rest of my life because of that? You are so shameless that even after I told you to not show your face to me ever, you still came here. I hate you, Jeonghan. I hate you so much—”

Joshua started hitting Jeonghan's chest in anger and no matter how much Jeonghan tried to interrupt the younger one and make him listen to his words, he didn't listen. Joshua looked quite weak too because his punches on Jeonghan's chest had no real weight. 

His cheeks had also lost fat and he seemed to have lost a significant amount of weight too. No doubt the younger one had been starving himself for the past few days besides crying.

Going against his heart, Jeonghan held both of Joshua's wrists tightly and put them behind the younger one's back, locking them together. Joshua tried to fight him but he couldn't.

Jeonghan held the younger's wrists with one of his hands and held his waist with the other one to prevent him from thrashing around.

“Please listen to me, Shuji. It's not like that. I'm not here to snatch you from Wonwoo or anything,”

“No! You are a liar! I don't want to listen to a manipulator like you—”

Jeonghan let out a tired sigh. Joshua was seriously not showing any sign of listening to him.

“If you don't listen to me now, I will kiss you,” Jeonghan threatened lightheartedly.

It made Joshua still immediately, looking up at Jeonghan in shock.

“You won't,”

Jeonghan smiled, “I will, Joshuji. Even you know that I will. So don't try me,”

Joshua wanted to protest but he knew Jeonghan was right. The older one was so unpredictable like that, Joshua wouldn't be too surprised if he actually kissed him for real in order to shut him up.

Jeonghan tried his best to hide his smile that was about to appear on his lips, finding the younger one's sulky face adorable.

He then explained everything to Joshua briefly. 

Joshua still had that permanent frown plastered on his face. He didn't look convinced and he looked like he wanted to hit Jeonghan again but Jeonghan didn't mind. He found the frown on the younger one's face extremely adorable.

“B-But Wonwoo…” Joshua mumbled, more to himself than Jeonghan.

“Your father will kill him if he stepped his feet inside Jeonju. So I came in his stead,”

Joshua looked like he understood this reasoning but he still looked so defeated. He looked so worried. The younger one bit his lower lip, his eyes getting watery again, “How are you even going to stop this marriage, Jeonghan? You don't know my father at all. For his pride and reputation, he will do anything. He'd make sure I marry Kim Mingyu at any cost,”

A tear rolled down Joshua's cheek as he looked down.

Jeonghan's heart twisted in pain at that sight. He knew Joshua was suffering. The younger one was only twenty. Who even got married at such a young age? His dream was to finish his degree in Hwangnam University first. But now he was being forced to marry someone he knew nothing about against his will.

Joshua had to be in stress for real. Because if it was the normal Joshua, he would be already kneeing Jeonghan on the crotch judging by how Jeonghan was holding him still. 

Jeonghan had his arm wrapped around Joshua's waist tightly to ground him and their bodies were completely pressed against each other. Jeonghan would have kept his distance but Joshua looked like he really needed something at that moment to ground himself back to reality.

“Don’t cry, Joshuji. I'm here now. Everything will get better,”

Joshua sniffled, shaking his head, “You don't understand, Jeonghan. I'm scared. I don't want to marry someone I don't know. I will kill myself before this wedding even takes place,”

Jeonghan's eyes hardened at Joshua's words as he wrapped his arm tighter around the younger's waist, pulling him closer, chest pressed against each other. The idea of Joshua doing anything like that just because he had no other ways out set Jeonghan's heart on fire. He would never let it happen.

“I will not let you do that, Shuji. You have to be strong now. If not for me, at least for Wonwoo.” Jeonghan held one of Joshua's cheeks gently, wiping away his tears “I have promised to Wonwoo that I will bring you back to him safely after cancelling the wedding. For me to fulfill that promise, you have to cooperate with me too and be strong until then,”

Joshua didn't look into Jeonghan's eyes. He kept looking down while silent tears kept steaming down his face. The younger one genuinely didn't know what to say. He didn't understand why Jeonghan was doing this for him, why Jeonghan was comforting him during his hardest time.

Joshua had slapped him, ridiculed him, even called him a weirdo so many times. Even if Jeonghan kind of deserved those, it still didn't make it okay for Jeonghan to continue to love him so much. Joshua didn't even acknowledge Jeonghan's love for him back then, calling it fake and whatnot. 

And yet Jeonghan was here, putting his life at risk, with the sole purpose of reuniting Joshua with Wonwoo.

Jeonghan was doing all of these for him just because he wanted to make Joshua happy. How could one person possibly love another one so much? It was beyond Joshua.

So he refused to look into Jeonghan's sincere eyes. Afraid that it might move his heart at the wrong time.

Jeonghan pulled him into a warm hug gently. He probably sensed the tremor in Joshua's body as a sob erupted from his chest. All the emotions were overwhelming him at that moment and Joshua didn't know how to control that.

He let Jeonghan hug him, he let the older one whisper comforting words to him.

“Please don't misunderstand my actions again, Shuji. You don't have to love me back. Just have a little bit of faith in my love for you. I will make sure you get to be with Wonwoo soon. Promise,”

Joshua didn't reply but deep down he knew Jeonghan meant every single word he spoke. Because he knew Jeonghan didn't play when it came to him.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Jeonghan called Daejung to help him make a mini documentary for Joshua. About how Joshua grew up here, what he liked the best, what were his habits growing up, everything. Jeonghan wanted to capture everything in his camera and preserve them in his memory. Don't ask him why.

Joshua's father treated Jeonghan like his special guest, as he had said so himself on Jeonghan's first day here. So, that meant Jeonghan was free to do whatever he wanted in that house. Everyone was busy preparing for the wedding which is why nobody paid much attention to what he was up to.

Currently, Daejung was telling him about an apple tree in their backyard that was apparently born from baby Joshua's habit of throwing food around.

Jeonghan held his camera upright, focusing on the tree and then at Daejung as the older man spoke, eager to let Jeonghan know more about their young master's childhood.

“This apple tree is called ‘Jisoo tree’ because when the young master was only five, he ate an apple and threw away the seeds here. That resulted in this tree being born. Grandma named it after the young master's name afterwards.”

Jeonghan bit his lower lip, containing the fond smile that was about to appear. He found it so adorable. He imagined little Joshua running around the house and the backyard eating fruits and throwing the left overs here and there. His heart swelled up inside his chest in so much fondness.

Minho then pointed at another spot, “Young master used to run around here with his old puppy. Nobody knew why he only played here but he wouldn't leave this spot when he was in the mood to play,”

Right at that moment, Joshua approached the two.

Joshua frowned, looking at the expensive looking camera on Jeonghan's hand and then at Daejung who was outing Joshua's business. Joshua tried to understand what they were up to. 

But Jeonghan ignored him completely and continued filming the rest of the backyard as Daejung told him more stories about Joshua.

Joshua exhaled a breath to calm his nerves down. Jeonghan never failed to make him mad for no reason because of how weird he was. Instead of doing something to break his marriage, he was fooling around. This fucking weirdo.

Joshua crossed his arms, face rigid.

“Jeonghan, come to my room this instant. I have an important thing to talk about.”

Jeonghan stopped on his track and put down his camera. An annoyed expression crossed his eyes. He refused to look at Joshua, speaking.

“Daejung hyung, bring my bags from upstairs. I won't stay here anymore,”

“Ah okay okay—” Daejung said on autopilot mode as he prepared to go but then he realized what Jeonghan just said, “W-What? You want to leave? I can't let that happen, Jeonghan. Master said that you're his special guest and if you left, he will have my head,”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, “Why should I stay here, hyung? Your young master always calls me and treats me like I'm his personal servant. Tell him to call me sweetly and only then I will stay.”

Daejung looked at Joshua pleadingly. The poor man probably thought that Jeonghan was offended for real, “Young master, please call him lovingly. Or else he will leave. And your father will kill me for that.”

Joshua was in no mood to entertain Jeonghan at this moment. But when Daejung was pleading so helplessly, he had no choice. He didn't want to give the old man any more hard times than he already had. So he obliged.

“Jeonghan,” he tried to call as softly as he could.

Jeonghan shook his head, not satisfied, “Not good enough. There's no feeling in your voice. I will show you how to call someone sweetly,” he walked closer to Joshua and spoke near his ear, “Joshuji.” 

Joshua flinched and took a step away from Jeonghan. He visibly got red as Jeonghan's warm breath hit his nape. He was not looking at Jeonghan, which is why he didn't see the older one coming so close to him all of a sudden and speaking near his ear.

Jeonghan smirked, noticing his flustered state, “Daejung hyung, did I sound loving or not?”

“Perfect, Jeonghan-ah. There's a lot of feeling in your tone.”

Jeonghan stood behind Joshua. The younger one wasn't even looking at him anymore and that's what amused Jeonghan more. Joshua used to be so feisty and now he couldn't even look at him properly. Jeonghan leaned a bit closer again, murmuring, “Try again, Shuji. It wouldn't hurt to call my name sweetly just once.”

Joshua closed his eyes, trying to suppress his urge to strangle Jeonghan right then and there, “Jeonghannie,” he tried a nickname this time, hoping it would please the bastard.

But Jeonghan clicked his tongue in disapproval again.

Joshua had enough.

He turned to them and glared at the manchild standing in front of him who seemed to treat everything like it was a joke.

“Daejung hyung, can you leave us alone for a few minutes?” Joshua said.

Daejung nodded, immediately scurrying away from the spot to abide by what the young master said.

Jeonghan didn't pay attention to Joshua's angry glares. He continued to record the surroundings before panning the camera towards Joshua's angry face, capturing that too.

Joshua pushed the camera out of his face.

“Have you gone mad, Jeonghan? Why are you filming things about me?” 

Jeonghan raised a brow at him, annoyed, “I am not doing this for myself, okay? Wonwoo told me to do this.”

Hearing Wonwoo's name, the frown on Joshua's face disappeared completely. His eyes softened as he paused.

Joshua's heart skipped a beat. 

Wonwoo told Jeonghan to record things about him? 

Maybe he wanted to preserve these memories since he couldn't be here. A smile unconsciously made its way to Joshua's lips as he looked at Jeonghan.

“R-Really?”

Jeonghan smiled. He was just happy to see Joshua smiling freely again. He nodded, “Really.” 

Joshua got so happy by hearing that, he forgot what he was even supposed to tell Jeonghan. Joshua left giddily.

Jeonghan watched Joshua's disappearing back. Joshua looked so happy with the mention of Wonwoo's name. He must like Wonwoo a lot.

Jeonghan ignored the tightening feeling inside his chest, shook his head and went to find Daejung.

“Hello, Wonwoo?” Joshua spoke on his phone sweetly.

“Hi, baby. How are you doing?” Wonwoo's deep voice came from the other line. 

Joshua fiddled with the hem of his shirt, feeling giddy.

“I’m doing good. Thank you for telling Jeonghan to film my childhood.” Joshua spoke softly. He wanted to thank his boyfriend properly for being so thoughtful.

“Huh?” Wonwoo's voice sounded dumbfounded.

Joshua didn't think much of it. Maybe Wonwoo just woke up. His voice sounded groggy. So he probably forgot about it. Joshua clarified what he was talking about.

“You told Jeonghan to film things about my childhood. I wanted to thank you for that,” Joshua said happily, expecting Wonwoo to tell him something sweet in return.

He was not expecting Wonwoo to get mad at him instead. 

“I sent him there to break your wedding, Joshua, not to do useless things like this.”

“....” Joshua's mouth fell apart in shock. He didn't know what to say to that. Speechless.

“Tell him to do what he's actually there for. That bastard is really of no use—”

Joshua hung up the phone without hearing the rest of his words. He didn't like Wonwoo talking about Jeonghan like this. He didn't even know why because he had called Jeonghan worse things in the past but it didn't sound right to his ears at this moment.

Joshua also felt disappointed to find out that Wonwoo did not tell Jeonghan to film anything. He even said that collecting memories about Joshua's past was useless.

If Wonwoo didn't tell Jeonghan to record these, that meant Jeonghan was doing everything out of his own free will. He lied to Joshua this morning.

Joshua shouldn't have felt this much upset over such a small thing but he couldn't help it. He had gotten so happy this morning thinking Wonwoo wanted to get to know him more by looking at things about Joshua's childhood. 

But he was so wrong. How could Joshua have overestimated himself? It's not like he mattered that much.

“And this was Jisoo's favourite pair of dolls when he was a preschooler. He would dress them up, talk to them, make them get married and invite us all to his dolls’ wedding. Can you believe that same adorable baby is now getting married himself? He has grown up so much.” Joshua's grandma reminisced. She chuckled slightly and showed Jeonghan more toys.

Jeonghan nodded and recorded everything while sitting on her bed. Joshua's grandma seemed to like his presence a lot. It had been just three days since he came here and she already made him feel like she had known him for years. 

Joshua was so lucky to have family members who loved and adored him so much.

She even praised Jeonghan for his handsome looks, saying that she had never seen someone as handsome and charismatic as him. And you know what they say about compliments coming from kids and older people? They are always true so it stroked Jeonghan's already inflated ego even more.

“Now, Jeonghan. Tell me the reason why you are filming all of this. What will you do with stories about Joshua's childhood?”

Truthfully speaking, Jeonghan himself didn't know why. He had known Joshua from a young age. He knew most of the things about the younger one. But even those felt less to Jeonghan. He wanted to know about Joshua more, wanted to see what made Joshua smile, what made him sad, what used to be his favorite pastime as a kid. 

It was hard to explain why exactly he wanted to know more about Joshua. But he knew that making himself occupied with things related to Joshua calmed him down in a way. The younger one always brought him peace, even though he didn't know about it.

But well, it's not like he could just say that to Joshua's grandma so he settled for another story.

“Look, grandma. Don't you wish to see some of your pictures from your younger days?”

“Hmm, I do.”

“Exactly. Joshuji will get old one day and he would want to see how he looked when he was a baby too, just like you. He would want to hear his stories from his childhood because at that age, some of our memories start disappearing. Don't you agree?”

Joshua's grandma nodded her head, letting out a tired sigh, like she just remembered her shortcomings.

“Ah yes. I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.”

Jeonghan grinned, like she just proved his point.

“See this is why preserving memory is a good thing. I will preserve these memories for Joshuji and show him when he gets old.” he said without much thought.

But only after those words left his mouth did he realize what he just said. Joshua's grandma gave him a fond look, raising a brow at him playfully. 

“You will stay with my Jisoo for that long?”

Jeonghan looked down, biting his lower lip.

“Only if he allows me to.” he mumbled quietly. Suddenly his camera lens became more interesting to him as he started fiddling with it. 

“You must love him a lot.” Joshua's grandma said all of a sudden.

Jeonghan's heart stilled. There's a tightening sensation inside his chest like someone wasn't allowing him to breathe properly. He refused to look up as he replied.

“I do. But it doesn't matter now grandma.”

“Why does it not matter? You're so sweet and lovely. You care for my grandson. You have a handsome face too.”

“Grandma, he doesn't like me. Also, he's getting married in a few days. What are you talking about?”

Joshua's grandma only huffed and shook her head in disapproval. Her face did not betray the look of irritation.

“You know what? I don't even agree with this marriage. My son is a fool for arranging this marriage with the Kim family of all people. I wish my Jisoo married you instead.”

Jeonghan felt his heart skip a beat. But the bitterness just intensified inside his chest after hearing this. This was a dangerous thought that shouldn't be said to someone like him, especially when he was trying his best to erase all of his dreams with Joshua bit by bit.

It's not that Jeonghan had never thought of marrying Joshua. Hell, that was Jeonghan's only dream for the longest time in his life. 

He dreamt of a wedding by the beach. He dreamt of decorating the entire place with Joshua's favourite flowers. Daisy and white lilies. 

Joshua would have made such a pretty bride. Jeonghan was sure he would have been unable to take his eyes off Joshua once the younger one walked down the aisle for him. He would have claimed him in front of the whole world. He would have said the wedding vows with the vast ocean as the witness of their love.

Jeonghan swallowed down the painful lump in his throat before shutting down the camera. Guess it was enough recording for the day.

He was just about to ask Joshua's grandma for more stories to shift the topic when he heard footsteps striding towards this room.

He found Joshua standing on the doorstep, his face blank and cold. 

Jeonghan could tell that there was something bothering the younger one. 

“Jeonghan, I need to talk to you. Come outside.”

Jeonghan didn't joke around this time and quickly walked out of the room. But not before bidding Joshua's grandma goodbye and laying a kiss on her hand. The old lady smiled fondly, ruffling Jeonghan's hair like he was a kid.

As he followed Joshua to the balcony outside, he realized how the younger one looked uncharacteristically sad. Joshua's back was facing him and Jeonghan could only see his side profile but he could see that the younger one was on the verge of tears.

Jeonghan knew Joshua was upset about this marriage. But this time his sadness didn't seem to stem from his frustration about this marriage.

“You lied to me about Wonwoo.” Joshua spoke coldly.

Jeonghan realized what it was about, “I didn't, Shuji….”

“Don’t lie to me again, Jeonghan. I know Wonwoo didn't tell you to record anything about my childhood.” Joshua turned around only slightly, glaring at him.

Jeonghan had the decency to look mildly ashamed as he was caught in a lie. But he still didn't admit it so easily, “You don't know that. He did.”

Joshua let out a humorless chuckle, “You can lie all you want, Jeonghan-ah. But I know you are doing it out of your own free will. Wonwoo didn't ask you to do this,” he paused. Jeonghan watched as Joshua took a deep breath, blinking away his tears, “He doesn't love me to that extent to do things like that for me.”

Something about the way Joshua said that hurt Jeonghan. Why would Joshua ever think that he was not loveable? He was the most precious thing in Jeonghan's life. And yet he had the audacity to feel like he was not enough.

“He loves you a lot, Shuji. You deserve all the love in this world. You're only overthinking right now,” Jeonghan said, trying to comfort Joshua.

“If he loved me that much, today he would be here to stop this wedding, Jeonghan. Not you,” the younger one said bitterly.

With that, Joshua walked away from that spot, leaving Jeonghan in a state of mess.

Jeonghan sighed. His fists clenched tightly beside him. He had nothing to say about Joshua's last remark. He didn't want to understand what Joshua meant by that either. Because hope was a dangerous thing and Jeonghan wasn't ready to get his heart broken again by hoping for things that would never come true.

The next few days were a blur of other events. One thing about weddings in Jeonju was that they had a lot of traditions. They had multiple events before and after the wedding.

They went to the Kim family’s house to give them a wedding card of their own.

The Kim clan then sent gifts for Joshua in return. 

They even sent Joshua out on a date with that fuckass Kim Mingyu for a day and it took everything in Jeonghan not to go and shoot that motherfucker.

But Jeonghan controlled himself. He had to wait until the wedding day.

They went to do Joshua's fitting two days later. It was right before the wedding day. Jeonghan didn't want to go with the rest of the family members, but he attended it after a lot of persuasion from Joshua's grandma. 

Still he didn't look at Joshua when he got out of the dressing room wearing his designer white tuxedo. Jeonghan got out of the room before his eyes could land on Joshua in his beautiful wedding outfit. He didn't want to have crazy thoughts again after looking at Joshua nor did he want to entertain those thoughts.

Like that, the wedding day arrived soon.

The Kim family along with the groom arrived much earlier than the actual time of the wedding. Joshua was supposed to live with his new husband at his husband's place after the wedding. That's why it was the Kim family who came here to the Hong mansion.

The Hong mansion was adorned beautifully with flowers and lighting. It was every bit the grand wedding that Hong Jaehyuk had told Jeonghan about.

Jeonghan watched as Mingyu got out of the car and fixed his black tuxedo. His father, Kim Minhyuk got out of the car next, followed by his assistant who always carried his dog with him.

Joshua's family went to greet them.

Minhyuk opened his arms to hug Joshua's father.

“Don’t mind us coming way earlier than the actual time of the wedding hahahaha. My son here couldn't wait to meet Joshua. You could say that Joshua has completely stolen my son's heart.”

Jaehyuk gave him a polite smile in return. 

Joshua's family laughed at the Kim clan leader's words.

The Kim family laughed too. 

Only Jeonghan rolled his eyes. 

Shaking his head, he focused on the task at hand. His eyes went straight to the dog in the arms of Minhyuk’s assistant. Jeonghan smirked, looking at the dog as he approached the bald assistant.

“Would you mind letting me play with him for a bit?”

The assistant was surprised by the sudden request but he looked more than happy to hand that dog over to Jeonghan and be free of this responsibility of carrying around that dog for the time being.

Jeonghan picked it up in his arms and went upstairs.

He cooed at the adorable dog. It was so well behaved. He willingly came into Jeonghan's arms without any barking. Jeonghan rubbed his head to give him a pat for being a good boy.

“I guess you're my new friend here, doggo.”

While walking by the hallway, he stopped on his track when his eyes suddenly landed on the crowded room in the way.

Oh.

It was the dressing room where Joshua was getting ready.

The makeup artists and stylists were all here to get Joshua ready for the wedding. The younger one was wearing his pretty white tuxedo with lace and embroidery, making him look like an angel on earth. The tuxedo was cinched in the waist, accentuating his curves. His hair had gotten a bit longer, the strands framing his face beautifully. He was wearing light makeup, his lips painted red and cheeks rosy pink. 

He looked like he came straight out of a dream.

Jeonghan couldn't take his eyes off him for a full minute. 

Joshua didn't smile at all. He was only looking down, letting the people fix his makeup and outfit. 

But then he looked up. His eyes met Jeonghan's starstruck ones through the mirror. 

Jeonghan averted his eyes quickly, as if he was caught looking at something he wasn't supposed to be looking at. His heart was rushing so fast.

“This is why we don't look at people we can't have, baby. Let's go, we have a wedding to stop,” Jeonghan muttered to the dog before walking away from the spot.

Joshua turned around and stared at Jeonghan's disappearing back, his heart feeling heavy inside his chest. He swallowed and looked away, wondering why he felt like that looking at Jeonghan. 

On the rooftop, Jeonghan played with the dog and taught him several tricks. 

He whistled and tilted his head, at which the dog laid on the floor and pretended to be asleep. He didn't move even when Jeonghan patted his back and head.

But then Jeonghan whistled again and he got up on his feet, wagging his tail.

“Good boy,” Jeonghan praised, patting his head.

Joshua came to the rooftop to find Jeonghan. And he looked like he just had a heart attack when he saw that Jeonghan was playing with a dog instead of doing something about his wedding.

“Jeonghan, my wedding is in half an hour. And you are here playing with a dog?”

Jeonghan ignored him, picking up the dog in his arms.

Joshua fumed. He did not like how Jeonghan barely even glanced at him, “Are you here just for a vacation because who's going to stop this wedding if you keep being like this? This dog?” 

Jeonghan smirked, walking closer to Joshua.

“I told you to just trust me, Joshuji. You can't even do one thing.”

With that, he walked away. 

Joshua could only hope this man was being serious right now. Because he really didn't understand how Jeonghan would stop this wedding when all he did all day was just fooling around.

In order to break the wedding, Jeonghan knew he had to weaponize the Kim clan's lack of trust in the Hong clan. On his first day, he had already planted the seed of doubt in both the clan's minds by testing their loyalty.

While the Hong clan seemed to be more accepting of this new alliance, more open to the idea of erasing their rivalry, the Kim clan was a completely different story. 

Jeonghan could tell that they still did not trust the Hong clan at all. 

They were ready for the Hong clan to do something wrong so they could fight back and put the blame on the Hong clan for any minor inconvenience in this wedding.

Jeonghan's words were proved right when he saw the Kim clan leader's assistant's bizarre attitude during the eating ceremony.

One of the many traditions of Jeonju weddings was that they fed the groom's family in a very grand manner before the exchange of the vows. This wedding was even more grand considering it was Hong Jaehyuk's one and only son's wedding. 

In one part of the venue, the two grooms were seated along with their close family members. They had just cut the cake. 

In the other part, the Kim clan's members were eating the various servings of food prepared by the Hong clan.

Every time they served the Kim clan members with a new dish, the assistant of Minhyuk would feed that dish to the dog first and then proceed to eat themselves after seeing the dog's reaction.

Jeonghan watched as they did that with all the dishes. It wouldn't take a fool to understand what was going on. The Kim clan did not trust the Hong clan at all.

They were testing the food with a dog in order to make sure it was safe to eat.

Well good for Jeonghan. His trick will now come in handy now.

Inside the busy area, no one noticed when Jeonghan made eye contact with the dog from across the other side of the yard and whistled lowly, tilting his head.

The dog, just like before, laid down and pretended to be asleep. He thought Jeonghan was still playing.

Jeonghan smirked. He would give the dog a treat later for being such a good boy and listening to him.

Now he just had to wait for the assistant to realize what happened.

It happened within ten seconds.

The assistant noticed the unmoving dog. He poked it a few times but still no movement. It caused him to spit out the last bite of his food immediately as he dropped the spoon. The other members of the clan stopped as well.

The next few minutes were a complete mess.

The assistant ran to the other end of the venue to inform Minhyuk of this incident. 

Minhyuk at that moment was just in the middle of taking a bite of the wedding cake, which was also being fed to him by none other than the Hong Jaehyuk. But as soon as his assistant screamed that there was poison in the food, he spat out the cake.

“What? Poison?”

“Yes, master! The dog is dead. Completely dead after eating the disgusting food of the Hong clan! They mixed poison in our food.”

Joshua's father's gaze hardened after hearing his disrespectful words, “Watch your words, boy. The Hong clan would never do something like this,”

Minhyuk fumed by his side.

“Do you think your words matter right now, Jaehyuk? Our dog is already dead. And it's because of the Hong clan's cowardice. You guys couldn't defeat us in a physical fight so you played this dirty game to eliminate us all by poisoning the food—”

Jaehyuk clenched his fist. All the guests held their breath. The Hong clan leader was a respected man. He valued his reputation more than anything else in the world. To see that same Jaehyuk humiliated in front of all the guests was a sight no one was ever prepared to see.

“You know very well that I'm a man of my words, Minhyuk. You are causing a scene for no reason, for just a small misunderstanding,” Jaehyuk said through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath, “I am telling you that we can resolve this within ourselves. Just cooperate.”

But it didn't seem like the Kim clan leader was in any mood to hear him out or reconcile.

“No, Jaehyuk. We can never be relatives after this incident. To hell with this alliance and to hell with this wedding! I don't care about anything. You and your entire family will continue to be my enemy!” he declared.

Several gasps erupted from the crowd and the guests. Most of the people of the town were invited to this grand wedding and they were all witnessing this messy situation. The only people who were being humiliated here was the Hong clan as they were the one who proposed this wedding.

Calling off a wedding on it's final day was considered extremely unfortunate among the village people. It would mean that the Hong family had a disgrace of a son. 

It would affect Joshua much more than anyone else, for a bride or groom who was left alone on the altar was considered as good as a second hand item.

Joshua's grandma clutched her chest in pain. All the ladies rushed to hold her. The old lady was already stressed as it was because of this wedding but now after hearing what the Kim clan were saying, it was causing her blood pressure to rise.

Hong Jaehyuk's eyes were as red as blood as he clenched his fist tightly, controlling the urge to cause a bloodshed on the wedding venue. But he couldn't do that. Not when his son's reputation and future was at stake.

“Minhyuk, this is a matter of my son's reputation. You know our tradition and you know very well what would happen if you called off the wedding now. It's frowned upon to leave a bride or in this case my son on the altar on his wedding day,” Jaehyuk tried to reason out, despite being a prideful fan who never begged or pleaded with anyone.

But before everything else, he was also a father. He couldn't just stand there and do nothing while his son's life got ruined for a small misunderstanding.

However, no matter what anyone said, Minhyuk was not ready to listen. Humiliating the entire Hong family, they left with their son, with no care for Joshua or anyone.

Mingyu seemed to disagree with his father as he was eager to marry Joshua. But he was also forced to leave by his family. 

Jeonghan watched everything with a grim expression on his face, standing at the farthest corner of the yard. When he planned for this wedding to stop, it never occurred to him that it would get this messy.

The final step of cancelling Joshua's wedding was completed.

But at the cost of what? At the cost of the Hong family's reputation. The same family that treated Jeonghan with more love and respect than anyone in his life did before. He almost felt guilty for going through this plan and causing this misunderstanding.

There was nothing but only silence there for a few seconds. No one dared to speak.

But then that dog appeared out of nowhere, barking and wagging his tail.

Jeonghan almost forgot about this silly guy until this moment. 

Everyone gasped seeing the dog that was declared dead by the Kim family a few minutes ago.

“Maybe the dog was only sleeping. It was really just a misunderstanding then.”

“Poor young master. His wedding got cancelled over such a trivial matter.”

“What Kim family did was so disrespectful. Calling the Hong family this and that, only for their dog to turn out to be perfectly fine.”

Everyone was whispering different things after seeing the dog alive.

Jaehyuk saw it too but unlike everyone else, his facial muscles did not move a bit to indicate his emotions. His face remained stoic as he remained quiet.

“Master,” Minho called out hesitantly, “This was clearly a misunderstanding. Should we inform the Kim clan—”

“No.” 

Joshua's father's reply was loud and clear.

He turned to Minho, his jaw clenched tightly, “Do you think I would send my only son to marry into that family and live with them after what they did today? Never. They can rot for all I care.” he roared, breathing heavily.

Everyone kept quiet. Joshua sat on one of the chairs without any movement. He remained silent through it all.

Jeonghan could tell that Jaehyuk would never agree to this marriage again, if his stubborn expression was anything to go by.

And it could have been a simple matter. The wedding did not happen. So what? They could have packed everything up, bid the guests goodbye and lived normally afterwards. But it wasn't as easy, for the tradition of the place.

That's why, despite being clearly mad and angry, there was also a big shadow of worry on Jaehyuk's face as he contemplated what to do next.

He pulled a nearby chair and sat on it, shoving his face in his palm as he thought. 

He raised Joshua with a lot of care. His son was dear to him. He was willing to offer that same son to his enemy for a peaceful reconciliation of the two clans that could have put an end to the bloodshed between the two clans going on for years. But the Kim clan did not deserve that.

He was so wrong for ever thinking that those inhumane people would take care of his precious son.

Maybe it was a good thing after all that this wedding was cancelled. 

But even then, the weight on his shoulder didn't disappear. If today passed and Joshua was still unmarried, it would stain Joshua's name for the rest of his life. No one would be willing to marry him after this. 

Jaehyuk stared ahead of himself blankly.

People stood in silence. Nobody dared to move or call out the Hong clan leader. Nobody dared to leave either, for they couldn't do so without the approval of Jaehyuk.

Clearing his throat, Minho approached him timidly, “Master, should I tell the guests….to go?”

Jaehyuk did not answer for a few seconds,

tapping his fingers on the table beside him, 

But then he stopped, “No.”

Everyone including Minho was shocked by the reply.

“But master—”

“They will only leave after Joshua's wedding takes place.” he said with finality in his voice.

Everyone present at the wedding venue exchanged confused looks, wondering what the Hong clan leader meant by that.

Jaehyuk finally stood up after much pondering and searched for someone in the crowd.

Jeonghan visibly flinched when his eyes suddenly landed on him.

“Jeonghan.” Jaehyuk called out.

Now everyone's eyes were on him. Jeonghan shifted on his toe awkwardly because why the fuck was he calling him now.

The older man beckoned him to come forward.

Hesitantly, Jeonghan walked forward and went to where Jaehyuk was standing.

“Yes, Mr. Hong?” he replied.

Jaehyuk put a hand on his shoulder, “You were right when you said that this marriage should only take place when both parties learn to trust each other,” he let out a dry laugh, “But well…as you can see, they did not trust us at all. They cancelled the wedding over such a small misunderstanding and now my son is humiliated on the wedding altar.”

Jeonghan's lips thinned into a line. He didn't know how he should react to this.

“I’m sorry that it happened, Mr. Hong. I had no intention of making fun of this wedding.”

Jaehyuk laughed, shaking his head. Jeonghan stood there awkwardly.

“No. Don't worry I'm not mad at you. In fact I'm glad that the Kim family left.”

Jeonghan nodded hesitantly, feeling himself sweating. He had never felt this nervous before. He didn't have a good feeling about this. The Hong clan leader looked like he was about to drop something big next.

“Do you know why I have asked you to come forward now, Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan shook his head, “No.”

“Remember when you said on your first day here that you were in love with my son Joshua?”

Jeonghan froze on his spot. What did that have to do anything with today's situation? He felt all the more distressed about what Jaehyuk was about to say next.

“Y-Yes.” he replied.

“Then will you marry him, my dear? I have full trust in you to take care of my son.”

It was like a bomb had dropped on that place.

Everyone stood frozen on their spot, shocked by Jaehyuk's proposal. 

Some people started whispering about it.

Joshua's cousins who were fans of Jeonghan seemed to be overjoyed by it as some of them started giggling.

Joshua's grandma was crying tears of joy because she always wanted to see his grandson with Jeonghan.

Jeonghan, however, felt like he was being sentenced to death.

He looked at Joshua first before anyone else.

Because right at that moment, nobody mattered to him more than Joshua did.

When Jeonghan planned for this wedding to crash, he didn't have any farsighted vision about what would happen afterwards. He was not aware of the tradition of Jeonju. He thought after Joshua's wedding was cancelled, they would let Joshua go to Seoul again to continue his studies.

Jeonghan could have never seen this coming.

He tried his best to look at Joshua and convey it through his eyes that he didn't mean for this to happen. He didn't want another misunderstanding. He didn't want Joshua to think again that Jeonghan was using this opportunity to claim him.

But then there were Jaehyuk's expectant eyes, waiting for his answer.

Joshua's mother and grandmother were looking at him expectantly too. They had been loving and caring towards Jeonghan since the first day he came here.

Jeonghan could never think of hurting them. He could not lie to them either. Because he said so himself on his first day here that he was madly in love with Joshua. Anyone with a functioning brain would be able to tell that he should have no problem marrying Joshua.

The problem was not Jeonghan. 

The problem was Joshua. Jeonghan knew the younger one would never consent to this if he had the choice.

How was Jeonghan supposed to tell them that Joshua hated him? 

Jeonghan looked down, exhaling a shaky breath.

It's not like he had any other choice than this.

“Yes, Mr. Hong. I will marry Joshua. Don't worry.”

Jaehyuk smiled. 

The rest of the family members smiled too because they liked Jeonghan from the beginning. 

The only people who did not smile were Jeonghan and Joshua.

After getting ready with the spare wedding tuxedo that was there for Joshua's fitting, Jeonghan stood at the altar along with his…bride.

Joshua didn't look at him even for a second.

Jeonghan bit his lower lip, hesitating. But then he spoke, “I am sorry, Shuji. I did not mean for this to happen.” he whispered.

Joshua swallowed, nodding a bit. Jeonghan expected Joshua to look at him at least once. But the younger one didn't. It broke Jeonghan's heart completely.

The wedding venue was back to being happy and crowded after announcing Jeonghan as the groom. He could hear the guests speaking, complimenting his handsomeness, saying Jeonghan suited Joshua much more than Mingyu did. Everyone was only talking positively.

But then why did it feel like Jeonghan was doing something bad?

The guilt wouldn't stop eating at him.

The priest read aloud the vows for them to repeat. And they did. They repeated the vows. 

At first, Joshua did. He said the vows emotionlessly, not looking at Jeonghan still. Everyone thought that it was because Joshua was shaken by everything that happened today.

But only Jeonghan knew that it was because Joshua hated him. And he had to still marry someone he hated. Who would be happy during a situation like this?

Jeonghan blinked back the tears in his eyes. If he could, he would never go through this wedding, if it meant Joshua wouldn't hate him any more than he already did.

But this was something out of his control.

Now it was Jeonghan's turn to say the vows.

He took a deep breath before saying.

“I, Yoon Jeonghan, take you, Hong Jisoo, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.”

They thought the vow was over. Everyone clapped but then Jeonghan held Joshua's hands hesitantly, giving it a gentle squeeze before continuing.

He spoke softly this time, more quiet, more intimate, like this was only meant for Joshua to hear.

“I will love you with both my words and my actions. I will fight with you and for you. I will always strive to be patient, kind, and open to the challenges we face together,” he paused.

Jeonghan rubbed the pad of his thumb on the back of Joshua's hand, hoping it made the younger one feel a bit at ease, “I pledge to honor you, love you, and cherish you as my partner today and every day.”

The guests clapped loudly again.

Jeonghan hoped Joshua knew that he would never do anything to use this marriage to bind Joshua to himself. He hoped Joshua knew that he'd let him go when the situation called for it, so long as the younger one was happy.

The priest then urged Jeonghan to step closer to Joshua.

“You may now kiss your bride,” he said.

Jeonghan glanced at Joshua, hesitating. He knew Joshua would never approve of this so he let out a sigh and left Joshua's hand.

But then Joshua grabbed his hand again and stepped closer to him.

Joshua finally met his eyes.

Jeonghan felt his heart skipping a beat. This was the first time Joshua was looking at him throughout the whole wedding and he didn't know what to make of it.

“It’s okay if we don't kiss, Shuji. I'm sure everyone will understand,” Jeonghan whispered softly.

Joshua's face was expressionless so Jeonghan could be wrong but he swore he saw a vulnerable expression cross his eyes. Joshua's eyes softened only a tad bit as he leaned closer to Jeonghan's face

“Just kiss me and get this over with. I don't mind.” the younger one whispered, closing his eyes, waiting for Jeonghan to close the distance between their lips.

And Jeonghan was only a man, a weak man who was a slave to Joshua's every wish.

Jeonghan did not hesitate anymore and met Joshua's lips halfway, kissing his now lawfully wedded husband.

This wasn't their first kiss. But Jeonghan still felt like it was more special than their first kiss because he was kissing Joshua again, on their wedding day. He never thought he would get to see this day. Not even in his wildest dreams.

“Our next kiss will be at our wedding.”

Jeonghan briefly recalled what he had written in his diary the last time he felt the urge to kiss Joshua. He couldn't believe that was coming true.

Time seemed to have slowed down. To Jeonghan's utter surprise, Joshua moved his lips against his. And that made Jeonghan a bit more bold as he put his hand on Joshua's waist and deepened the kiss.

Jeonghan knew he was being selfish. 

He knew he shouldn't be doing this.

Joshua loved Wonwoo. And Wonwoo loved Joshua.

They belong with each other.

Jeonghan was only supposed to be here to break the wedding. Not marry the bride instead and kiss him.

But Jeonghan reminded himself that this would be the last time he would be doing anything like this. One last time of indulging in his desire. One last time of holding Joshua close to him, in his arms, pretending Joshua was his. One last time of kissing Joshua's soft petal-like lips like they belonged to him. 

After this, Jeonghan promised to himself that he would never touch Joshua again.

So, Jeonghan let go. He let go of all kinds of hesitation just for a few seconds.

He wrapped his arms around Joshua's waist tightly and pulled him impossibly closer to his body.

Joshua gasped in his embrace and with that opportunity, Jeonghan slid his tongue inside Joshua's mouth, licking into his mouth, exploring his mouth, moving his lips against the younger one's desperately, passionately. He held Joshua cheek with one of his cheek to deepen the kiss even more.

Fuck. Jeonghan did not even care if everybody was watching them go at it.

He moved his lips against Joshua's hungrily and possessively, like he was trying to engrave all the details of Joshua's lips into his mind, like he was a starved man who finally got his meal, like Joshua was his oxygen.

In a way, Joshua was. Joshua was the reason for his living.

After leaving one last kiss on Joshua's soft plump lips, Jeonghan finally pulled away a bit, a string of saliva connecting their lips. They both breathed heavily. Joshua gulped nervously, glancing at Jeonghan's hooded eyes and then at his lips again.

It made Jeonghan want to dive back into Joshua's mouth. So he did. And Joshua didn't stop him.

Jeonghan kissed Joshua again until the taste of the younger's lips were permanently etched into his brain.

Someone coughed among the guests and it finally made them separate from each other.

Jeonghan took a step back and wiped his mouth. Everyone could tell that the newly wedded couple got carried away with their love a bit on the altar so nobody teased them about it in order to make them feel more at ease, more comfortable.

Jeonghan averted his eyes from Joshua's. They were finally married. Joshua was his husband. Jeonghan kissed him in front of everyone and Joshua's family fully approved of him as Joshua's husband.

But Jeonghan knew Joshua didn't want him.

Everything just got more complicated now.

Chapter Text

Their new bedroom had only one bed.

Right after the wedding and exchange of vows, Jeonghan and Joshua were escorted to their bedroom where they would start living from that day.

According to Jeonju tradition, the newly wedded couple stayed there in Jeonju for a couple of days before leaving to their own house or apartment.

This new bedroom was decorated beautifully in the meantime when the wedding was taking place. There were rose petals on the bed. Scented candles lit all around the room. It must be one of the traditions here in Jeonju again. Jeonghan concluded after taking a look around the room.

It was clear that everyone had tried their best to set up the perfect romantic mood for the newly wed couple to make their first night as special and memorable as they could.

But Jeonghan remembered his place. He might be Joshua's husband by documents now. But in Joshua's heart, Jeonghan knew he had no place.

So, he must keep his distance from the younger one. He had already crossed one limit by kissing Joshua at the altar.

“I can sleep on the floor. You take the bed, Joshuji.” Jeonghan spoke softly, unbuttoning his suit by the side to get rid of it. It was suffocating him.

Joshua looked shocked to hear this suggestion, “But wouldn't you feel uncomfortable?”

“It’s okay. I will manage.” Jeonghan mumbled quietly, avoiding Joshua's eyes.

He didn't want to look into that beautiful pair of eyes again, the same eyes that can compel him to do anything. Jeonghan was afraid if he looked into those doe eyes for too long, he would change his mind and listen to whatever Joshua told him.

There were some night shirts and towels kept for them in the nearest clothes rack. He took one of the shirts and pants from there and went to take a shower.

After ten minutes, he got out to find Joshua sitting on top of the bed in deep thought, unmoving.

Jeonghan cleared his throat to catch the younger's attention.

“You should shower now too before it gets too late, Joshuji. Or you might catch a cold.”

Joshua flinched after hearing his words. Lost in thought, he did not notice when Jeonghan got out of the shower.

He nodded slowly before taking his stuff and heading to the bathroom.

By the time Joshua got out, Jeonghan was already preparing to fall asleep on the floor. He had his pillow and blanket ready.

Joshua didn't know why he felt his heart clenching in pain seeing Jeonghan compromise for him. He felt so conflicted.

It didn't feel right. 

How could he sleep on the bed peacefully when Jeonghan would be on the floor, uncomfortable and probably cold? There was not even a couch in this room that Jeonghan could sleep on. 

It was not fair.

“Jeonghan,” he called out hesitantly.

Jeonghan hummed, preparing his makeshift bed with the blankets.

“You can sleep on the bed with me. I don't mind.”

“I mind.” came a quick reply from Jeonghan.

Joshua paused, taken aback. He did not expect that answer, “But why?”

“Just because,” Jeonghan replied calmly, “I....I don't trust myself to be near you and not do something that you hate, Joshuji. It's better for me to stay away from you.”

Joshua's eyes softened. He stared at the older with his eyebrows furrowed as Jeonghan laid down on the makeshift bed and pulled a comforter up to his chin. Jeonghan closed his eyes, not leaving any room for conversation.

Joshua tried once again.

“But the floor is cold and uncomfortable. The bed is big enough for the both of us. We could share, Jeonghan.”

A sigh left Jeonghan's mouth.

“Please don't make this any harder for me than it already is, Joshuji. I told you I'm fine.”

But Joshua was not having it. He huffed and puffed his cheek.

Taking his own pillow and blankets, he went over to where Jeonghan was sleeping.

“Fine. Then I will sleep on the floor too.” He mumbled underneath his breath, placing his pillow and blankets down and making himself comfortable there.

Jeonghan stared at the stubborn boy in shock. He was clearly dumbfounded by this sudden move from the younger one. Jeonghan shook his head in disapproval.

They were facing each other now and Jeonghan could almost see the pout on the younger's lips. The audacity of this boy to act like it was Jeonghan's fault for him sleeping on the floor when all Jeonghan wanted was for Joshua to sleep comfortably on the bed. 

They were laid far away from each other but it still looked intimate to Jeonghan. Because they were facing each other, their eyes looking back.

“Don’t blame me when your back hurts in the morning, Joshuji.”

Joshua rolled his eyes, “Why would I blame you? It was my choice to sleep on the floor. I came here out of my own free will.”

Jeonghan thinned his lips into a line, mumbling quietly. 

“Well, you blame me for everything,”

Unfortunately for Jeonghan, Joshua heard it.

“Excuse me?” Joshua asked.

Jeonghan apologized quickly.

“Just kidding. I'm sorry,”

Joshua just glared at him before rolling his eyes, “Whatever, good night.”

A small smile unconsciously made its way on Jeonghan's lips to hear the younger one wishing him good night.

Joshua was adorable even without intending to be. Jeonghan was trying so hard not to fall for him any deeper but Joshua was not cooperating. The more Jeonghan tried to stay away, the more Joshua came closer.

It was confusing. 

Jeonghan knew that Joshua hated him. But the younger one still did things like this that could be interpreted as kindness and Jeonghan was not used to getting kindness from people without any ulterior motives, especially not from Joshua.

He knew that Joshua was not a bad person per se. That's why he probably felt bad for Jeonghan for sleeping on the floor and came to join him.

Jeonghan smiled slightly at the gesture.

Joshua had been very understanding recently. 

He did not even question Jeonghan for saying yes to this marriage. 

Jeonghan had been afraid that Joshua would get mad at him for saying yes to this marriage, that Joshua would accuse him of taking advantage of him again. But it did not happen. 

Joshua knew where Jeonghan was coming from and he trusted Jeonghan. For now.

Jeonghan just hoped Joshua would trust him till the end. He would try his absolute best to make sure Joshua ended up with the man he loved. Just like he had promised once.

In the morning, it was Joshua who woke up first.

The first thing he noticed after waking up was that he was in Jeonghan's arms. 

And no it was not Jeonghan who had crossed the distance between them to hold Joshua. 

It was Joshua. 

Joshua didn't know how he ended up here but it might have gotten colder at night and he might have unconsciously scooted closer to where Jeonghan was sleeping in search of more warmth.

Jeonghan was fast asleep, breathing softly, his sleeping face so peaceful and calm. His long eyelashes rested on top of his cheek prettily. He looked so innocent like this. 

Joshua tried his best not to move too much in order to not wake the older one up.

One of Jeonghan's hands was wrapped around his waist loosely, his chin resting on top of Joshua's head, their legs tangled under the blanket. 

It looked domestic. It felt domestic. Normal for a newly wed couple.

It made Joshua's heart skip a beat unconsciously.

Joshua lifted his hand up and touched Jeonghan's cheek hesitantly.

He remembered slapping Jeonghan on this very cheek. He remembered the tears in Jeonghan's eyes. He remembered the look of devastation that had crossed Jeonghan's face when Joshua confessed to Wonwoo in front of him.

Despite everything, Jeonghan was still here, still fighting for him, still doing everything in his ability to help Joshua get back to his boyfriend, without asking anything for return.

Jeonghan was truly crazy, wasn't he?

Because who did things like this just because of love? Love alone shouldn't make people this selfless, this daring and this patient.

Joshua didn't know where the urge to hold Jeonghan closely came from.

He moved on his own. He lifted his head up slightly to lay a soft kiss on Jeonghan's cheek, the same cheek he had slapped on once, the kiss lingering on the spot. Joshua didn't know what he was even doing at this point because it was like an instinct, his lips moved on their own, kissing Jeonghan's forehead, his nose and lastly the corner of his lips. 

Joshua left one last kiss on Jeonghan's cheek, like it was an apology, like it could convey all the unsaid words from Joshua. His throat felt clogged up with unsaid emotions. 

And lastly, Joshua let himself cry. He buried his face in the crook of Jeonghan's neck and sniffled silently. 

He didn't know what he was even crying for at this moment. Nothing in his life felt right at this point. It was like everything was going wrong. He didn't even know what he was doing.

Jeonghan kissed him on the lips at their wedding last night. In front of everyone.

Joshua didn't stop him.

In fact, he kissed back.

Joshua reminded himself that he did it only out of pity. Because he knew Jeonghan had been in love with him for too long. So, he thought he could indulge the lovesick man for one last time, letting him kiss him for once and all.

Joshua convinced himself that it was nothing but pity. The kiss was just a performance.

Because calling it a performance was easier than acknowledging whatever complicated feelings were brewing inside his heart.

Joshua didn't know what to do with them anymore. What was true and what was even false? He didn't know anymore.

Jeonghan and Joshua stayed in Jeonju for another three days.

They were supposed to stay much longer. At least for another week. 

But Wonwoo was calling them repeatedly. 

Jeonghan had told Wonwoo what happened, not leaving anything out. And from that moment, Wonwoo had been impatient to meet Joshua again.

No doubt he was mad by the way things turned out to be.

And as much as Jeonghan wanted to tell him to have patience and wait a few more days, he understood where Wonwoo was coming from. He had all the right to be mad. Because Jeonghan knew if he was in Wonwoo's place, he would have felt the same way.

Jeonghan knew he would have felt devastated if Joshua had married someone else, even if it was for the greater good.

So, he promised to Wonwoo that he'd get Joshua out of that house to meet with him soon.

Jeonghan discussed with Joshua that they would leave before the sun rises. Wonwoo would be waiting with his car thirty minutes away from the Hong mansion. Jeonghan and Joshua would leave the Hong mansion in Jeonghan's car and dump the car by the roadside before moving to Wonwoo's car.

Dumping the car would be the best choice because Jeonghan knew that as soon as the Hong family members woke up in the morning and found them gone, they would suspect something was wrong and look for them immediately. 

Sooner or later they would have found out anyway that Jeonghan and Joshua couldn't be together, for Joshua was in love with Wonwoo. 

So, it was best for Joshua to run away with Wonwoo when they still had the chance to.

Jeonghan felt guilty, disappointed, jealous and hurt all at the same time for doing this.

He remembered how much love he received from Joshua's family. 

Even though Mr. Hong was usually cold and stoic, he had a soft spot for Jeonghan. Jeonghan knew that better than anyone else. He didn't know what he did for Joshua's father to like him this much but he appreciated every bit of it. 

No one in Jeonghan's life had ever loved him for who he was. 

But the Hong family did. Joshua's parents did. Joshua's cousins did.

And Joshua's old grandma did too. She was the closest to Jeonghan, always willing to spend more time with him, tell him stories about Joshua and pamper him with affection like Jeonghan was her own grandchild.

Jeonghan treasured those moments to the fullest. 

Because of them, he got to taste the feeling of being loved without any condition.

Because of them, he learned for the first time what it was like to have a loving and complete family.

But now Jeonghan was about to lose it all.

As soon as they find out that Jeonghan helped Joshua escape with his lover, they would be disappointed in him. They would never forgive him.

They would forget the soft spot Jeonghan had in their hearts. They might as well hunt him down too just to take revenge judging by Joshua's family history of killing people who dared to taint the reputation of the family.

As they drove to where Wonwoo was supposed to be waiting for them, Jeonghan felt his hand tremble on the steering wheel. He had already made up his mind but he still felt so conflicted. He would have never hesitated to do this before. But now after meeting Joshua's family, he was guilty and didn't know what to do anymore.

Sighing, Jeonghan just focused on the road ahead of themselves and drove.

He could only leave everything in the hands of destiny now. 

As soon as Jeonghan hit the brake of the car, his heart started thumping loudly inside his chest.

Wonwoo was standing beside his parked car a few metres away from them.

Jeonghan wasn't scared of facing Wonwoo. He never was. 

But seeing Wonwoo in front of him like this after so long, he realized once again that Joshua did not belong to him. This man was the rightful lover of Joshua because Joshua loved him back. And after today, Jeonghan would probably never get to see Joshua again because they would leave soon.

Jeonghan got out of the car. 

He couldn't even take five steps forward before Wonwoo was already striding towards him. 

Wonwoo grabbed him by his collar and punched the side of his face without any words.

A bruise in the colour of purple immediately started to form on his face, particularly on his jaw.

But Jeonghan didn't fight back.

He just let Wonwoo be.

“I sent you here to stop the marriage, you fucking bastard! Not to get married to Joshua yourself!” Wonwoo snapped.

He was about to hit Jeonghan again but then Joshua got out of the car. The younger's eyes were sad and downcast.

Both Jeonghan and Wonwoo held their breath looking at him.

It's like no matter how many times they saw Joshua, they couldn't get used to the sight of his pretty face.

Joshua's red puffy eyes connected to Wonwoo's and that made Wonwoo finally loosen his grip on Jeonghan's collar.

Jeonghan gently grabbed Wonwoo's hand and removed it from his collar.

“I married Joshua purposely. You're right,” Jeonghan spoke up, “But that's only because if I hadn't agreed to marry him, then Joshua's father would have chosen the next eligible unmarried guy there to marry Joshua,”

Wonwoo clenched his fist tightly. 

Jeonghan continued.

“And if that had happened, Joshua wouldn't be standing in front of you here right now,” Jeonghan glanced at Joshua's downcast eyes briefly before looking back at Wonwoo, “He would be in the arms of another man, in their house,”

Wonwoo's shoulder slackened finally. 

Jeonghan's words seemed to have calmed him down a bit. Because what he said was completely true. Joshua's father was blind with rage at that time. He would have chosen a random guy to marry Joshua at that moment, just to keep his reputation clean.

Wonwoo still didn't approve of this wedding. But he knew it was the ideal choice at that moment for Jeonghan to marry Joshua instead.

“Sorry,” Wonwoo mumbled underneath his breath. He didn't sound sorry but not like Jeonghan was going to hold him to that.

Jeonghan only nodded his head. 

Wonwoo pushed past him and went to pull Joshua into a tight hug. Joshua was completely unresponsive in his arms. 

Pulling away from the hug, Wonwoo cupped Joshua's cheek, scanning his entire face, checking for any injury or anything, “I missed you,” he confessed, expecting Joshua to say it back. But when Joshua didn't, Wonwoo got confused. 

What was wrong with the younger one?

His eyes hardened when he noticed the puffiness in Joshua's eyes, “Have you been crying, Shua? Did that bastard try anything with you? Just tell me—”

Joshua shook his head, swallowing, “No. Please stop doing this, Wonwoo. Just stop coming to conclusions by yourself.” he spoke softly. He looked so tired, so soulless. It was like he was just a shell of the person he used to be.

Wonwoo paused.

Joshua looked down, his voice heavy with emotion, “Jeonghan would never do anything I don't like. That much I can tell. So, please don't speak about him like this. I don't like it.”

Wonwoo let out a stuttered breath. He did not like how Joshua spoke in favor of Jeonghan now. The last time he remembered, Joshua hated Jeonghan. The mere sight or even mention of Jeonghan's name was enough to make the younger one mad. Then what changed now? 

Something about this new change in Joshua's behavior didn't sit right with him.

“O-Okay. I won't talk badly about him anymore.” he said neutrally.

Joshua nodded, still not looking into his eyes.

Wonwoo did not like that. He wanted the younger one to tell him what was wrong.

His finger rubbed on the apple of Joshua's cheeks affectionately as he leaned in to kiss Joshua. It had been so long after all. His lips were about to meet Joshua's.

But to his utter surprise, Joshua moved his face away from him.

“I-I have something to tell you,” the younger one started.

Wonwoo waited. 

Joshua took a deep breath, “Jeonghan and I didn't only exchange vows during our wedding. But we kissed too—”

Wonwoo froze on his spot. The rest of the words from Joshua's mouth faded in the background. Wonwoo didn't hear anything else.

“—I am telling you this right now because I don't want to hide anything from you. If you are mad at me, you can take it out on me right now. I don't mind.”

Wonwoo was mad. It was the truth. But he was not mad at Joshua. Maybe he was. A little bit.

But the hatred and anger he felt towards Jeonghan was much more at that moment. To the point he could forgive Joshua for this but not Jeonghan.

Because he knew it must have been Jeonghan's doing. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Wonwoo pulled Joshua into a hug.

“Don’t worry. It doesn't matter anymore. Now you're here with me and you're only mine. We will go far away from this place very soon.”

Joshua didn't answer but he didn't pull away either. 

Jeonghan kept his distance from the two lovers who were reunited after a long time. He didn't look at them nor did he hear what they were talking about.

All he knew was that he was about to lose Joshua completely soon.

Just like how they had initially discussed, they dumped Jeonghan's car by the roadside and moved to Wonwoo's car.

They were now going to Daegu to stay at Jeonghan's friend's guest house.

Wonwoo wanted to go straight to Seoul.

But Jeonghan told him that it wouldn't be safe. Joshua's parents were influential. They would no doubt go there first to look for them.

At that, Joshua convinced Wonwoo that what Jeonghan said was right. Seoul was not safe.

So they drove to Daegu.

As Jeonghan drove the car, his phone suddenly rang. 

He fetched it out of his pocket to look at the caller id.

It was Joshua's father. 

Jeonghan pressed on the brake abruptly.

Joshua who was sitting on the passenger seat looked at him in worry

Jeonghan swallowed nervously before picking up the call. His heartbeat raced.

“Hello?” Jeonghan spoke.

“The Jeonju people saw my son hugging a man that was not you, Jeonghan.”

“.....”

“Joshua is not just your life partner but he's the reputation of this family. Now you're tainting that reputation by letting my son run away with someone like that guy.”

“.....”

“I know that guy very well, Jeonghan. I know that he is Joshua's boyfriend from Seoul. That's why Joshua was upset about marrying Mingyu. He was upset about marrying you too. But do you know why I still let you marry my son, Jeonghan?” 

Jeonghan remained silent. He didn't speak. He had no right to speak after everything that happened.

“It’s because I knew you loved Joshua. I knew you would never do anything to hurt my son,” the older man's voice was cold and sharp. He continued, “I have never been wrong when it comes to judging people. And I trusted you to take care of my son. But now you're helping him to get back together with a guy who doesn't love him even one percent of how much you love Joshua,”

Jeonghan's breath stuttered. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. Every word that left from Mr. Hong's mouth was like a stab to his heart. He didn't know how much more he could take before breaking apart.

“You know very well what type of guy Jeon Wonwoo is, Jeonghan. You know even better than myself. Do you think I haven't done a background check on the guy who was seen roaming around with my one and only son? He's not good for Joshua. He doesn't love Joshua on the same level as you either—

“—If he loved Joshua, he wouldn't have sent you here in his place to put your life in line. He sent you here in order to die. I believe you are not that naive to not realize that, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan closed his eyes, letting those words sink in. Deep down he knew that Joshua's father was right. But it was too late now. Jeonghan couldn't agree with him even if he wanted to. And Jeonghan couldn't undo something he already did. 

He can't change what he feels for Joshua.

And he can't take a step back from what he promised to Joshua.

“There is still time, Jeonghan. Tell me where you are going with my son. The reputation of my family is now in your hands. If you don't cooperate, I will forget that you're my son-in-law—”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hong.” Jeonghan mattered calmly.

He ended the call after that.

Joshua looked at him questioningly. The younger one had no idea the person who had just called Jeonghan was his dad.

Wonwoo had no care for what he was doing. He was scrolling through his phone mindlessly in the backseat.

Joshua spoke softly from beside him.

“Who was it?” 

Jeonghan shook his head, starting the car again, “No one. Just my friend from Daegu that I told you guys about earlier.”

Joshua looked at him skeptically for a few seconds, not quite believing him. But he didn't press any further. He nodded before looking out of the window.

Jeonghan drove while trying his best to drown out the mocking voices inside his head that kept telling him hurtful things, each word a stab to his already wounded heart.

Seungcheol was Jeonghan's long time friend. Back when Jeonghan's father had to transfer from one place to another frequently because of his business, Jeonghan stayed there in Daegu for over a year. 

He was in high school then. Seungcheol became something like a close friend to him after attending the same school.

Jeonghan wasn't into socializing with kids his age but their fathers were business partners so that automatically made them forced to become friends.

Jeonghan had never bothered to keep up this friendship with his one and only friend.

He never thought he had to.

But now it was time to revive that friendship.

Jeonghan gave a side hug to his old friend, greeting him after a long time. 

Seungcheol returned the hug, telling him that he was welcome to stay in his resthouse for as long as he needed.

Jeonghan nodded, thanking his friend.

Joshua and Wonwoo were staying in the two spare guest rooms. While Jeonghan would be using Seungcheol's now empty room.

Jeonghan had already talked to other people to get Joshua's and Wonwoo's passports and plane tickets ready. Those should be arranged in one day.

The next day, Jeonghan thanked those people he had assigned this job to for working so fast.

Joshua and Wonwoo were sitting outside. 

Joshua watched as Jeonghan did everything in his ability to make their stay comfortable there. He got this place ready for them to stay in where Joshua's dad wouldn't be able to find them. And now he was helping their final escape too.

Joshua's heart felt heavy with every moment that passed by.

Jeonghan came over to their spot and handed those passports and tickets to Joshua.

“These are your passports and plane tickets. Everything is paid for. The flight is at 3PM. To Japan. Don't be late.”

Joshua took them from his hand hesitantly. He was just about to thank him but Jeonghan had already walked away before he could say anything.

As usual, Wonwoo did not lift a muscle to appreciate anything Jeonghan did for them.

To say Joshua was disappointed would be an understatement.

He only found out an hour later why Wonwoo looked so ungrateful about everything Jeonghan had been doing for them.

“We are not going to Japan tomorrow at 3PM. We are going to Thailand and we will leave before the sun rises.”

Joshua looked at him confusion, “But Jeonghan—”

Wonwoo cut him off, pulling him closer by the waist.

“I don't trust his intentions at all. I don't know what he told you to make you trust him this much. But he is not someone who would do anything without any ulterior motive. So just do what I say, Joshua. We will move to Thailand for now and that's final.”

Joshua opened his mouth to protest but Wonwoo just pressed a kiss on his lips to shut him up.

The younger's hands went up to push against his chest out of instinct. 

Joshua broke the kiss, “I-I am not feeling well.”

Wonwoo gave him a once over before taking a step back, “Pack your bags at night. We'll leave before Jeonghan wakes up.”

With that, he walked away, not even bothering to hear Joshua out.

Joshua wiped his mouth, the kiss lingering. It made him feel sick. He felt like he just did something he was not supposed to. 

He couldn't believe Wonwoo was still this much hateful towards Jeonghan even after all the things Jeonghan had done for them, for Joshua.

Why did Wonwoo change so much? Or had it been his real personality all along?

Joshua did not feel well at all. 

Ever since the moment Jeonghan handed him the passports and plane tickets, he couldn't sit still. 

He was not even thinking about Wonwoo.

All he could think about was just Jeonghan.

Jeonghan wasn't looking into his eyes. 

Jeonghan was avoiding him.

Jeonghan was not eating anything.

The older made sure that Joshua had every necessities in his vicinity but he did not spare Joshua a glance. His eyes were red, tired. Dark circles were already forming under them. 

Joshua might be a lot of things but he was not blind. He could see the hurt and pain in Jeonghan's eyes. He could see how hard Jeonghan was trying to keep his promise. 

Jeonghan didn't have to do any of this. But he was doing all of them solely out of his love and devotion for Joshua. Because he had promised to Joshua once that he'd do anything to ensure his happiness.

Now even if he was completely breaking apart, he was keeping that promise.

Not only was he doing everything in his ability to get Joshua to be with his lover, but he was also trying to erase his love for Joshua bit by bit too.

By afternoon, Joshua had lost count of how many times he felt the urge to just visit Jeonghan once, to talk to him properly one last time. But he couldn't muster up the courage to do that yet. He didn't know why he was even hesitating this much when he had known Jeonghan for so long.

He saw Jeonghan in the living room.

He watched as Jeonghan's phone rang loudly. He thought Jeonghan would pick up the call. But the older one flinched after taking a look at his phone and just dropped the phone on the couch. 

Jeonghan ran a hand through his frustratedly, a look of conflict crossing his eyes. 

Before Joshua could approach him and ask him what was wrong, Jeonghan walked away.

Joshua walked near Jeonghan's phone and picked it up hesitantly.

His father was calling.

Joshua stared at Jeonghan's back who just disappeared into his room. 

His father had been calling Jeonghan since yesterday and yet Jeonghan was still keeping their hiding spot a secret. Even though it gave him no benefit.

In the evening, Joshua came to Jeonghan's room to talk to him but once again he couldn't catch him there. Jeonghan wasn't in his room.

After looking around the house, Joshua found Jeonghan in the backyard, sitting by a bonfire.

At first, Joshua was confused about what he was doing there.

Until he realized Jeonghan was drinking. He was drinking alcohol again. His hand had a small notebook. Something like a diary.

After a moment of confusion, Joshua realized that it was the same diary he had seen with Jeonghan back in the University. The same diary where Jeonghan had written that day in his apartment that he would kiss Joshua on their wedding day.

The memory of a drunk Jeonghan writing that wish down on his little diary sent a pang of hurt to Joshua's heart. It must be the same diary where Jeonghan wrote down every single one of his wishes throughout the years.

He clutched the wall tightly, watching as Jeonghan tore open each page and set them on fire. 

The older man looked out of his mind, out of his head. He had no care of his surroundings. He just drank mindlessly and set all the pages on fire one after another one, like burning every dream, every wish and every passion he ever had.

One of the pages flew over to Joshua's feet.

Joshua picked it up hesitantly. The page looked worn out, torn around the edges. There was one entry there, written two years ago by the date. It was before Joshua came to South Korea.

The handwriting was neat. It was Jeonghan's handwriting.

Today I dreamed of Joshua calling my name very sweetly. I knew it was a dream because I remember the real life Joshua always calling my name with annoyance. Real life Joshua will never call me so sweetly all of a sudden.

But it's fine. I have full trust in my love. I know one day my Joshuji will call my name with love. 

—jeonghan

Joshua sat on top of his bed silently, lost in thought. 

It was already midnight. He was supposed to be packing his luggage right now. But he didn't do any of that. He couldn't. His mind was elsewhere.

The door bursted open to reveal Wonwoo.

Joshua still didn't look back. He wasn't even conscious of his surroundings at this rate.

Wonwoo frowned after seeing the untouched luggage on top of Joshua's bed. His clothes scattered across the bed messily. 

“What the hell, Shua? Why haven't you packed up your stuff yet? Do you think you will have the time to pack all of them in the morning?”

No response.

Wonwoo shook his head in disapproval and stuffed all his clothes inside the luggage.

“I am putting all your clothes inside. Just close the chain later,” Wonwoo said.

He was about to leave but then he paused to remind Joshua again, “Oh and we have to leave before Jeonghan wakes up. So, go to sleep now.”

Joshua flinched at the mention of Jeonghan's name, his heart constricting inside his ribcage in an indescribable amount of pain that he didn't know how to describe. 

“Wonwoo…” he called out hesitantly.

The said man stopped on his track, turning to Joshua's back.

“I-I think we should tell Jeonghan that we will be leaving in the morning.”

There was a brief pause.

Until Joshua heard Wonwoo taking a deep breath and letting out an exaggerated sigh like the mere mention of Jeonghan’s name was irritating. 

“There is no need. Just go to sleep, Shua.”

With that, he left the room and slammed the door shut.

Joshua flinched on his spot. 

Why was Wonwoo acting so aggressively lately?

Joshua always thought that Wonwoo was a calm and collected person. He never thought the same man he once used to consider the most ideal man was behaving like this. Not only was he ungrateful, but also he was rude.

Joshua swallowed the new forming lump in his throat. It was just getting heavier and heavier to breathe with every moment passing by.

Did he make a mistake while choosing who actually loved him for real and who did it all for show?

It was probably 2AM when Joshua walked out of his room and hesitantly made his way towards Jeonghan's room. He couldn't sleep. 

There were so many thoughts running wildly inside his mind. None of them were pleasant. 

Every step felt heavier than the last one. 

Was it really going to be the last time he would be seeing and talking to Jeonghan?

The door to Jeonghan's room was slightly ajar.

Joshua opened the door slowly to take a peek inside, wondering whether Jeonghan had fallen asleep already. 

But to his utter surprise, Jeonghan was awake.

Joshua's eyes widened when he noticed the state he was in.

There were countless cigarette butts laying all over the floor. Jeonghan was still drinking heavily. He had been drinking in the evening too. Did that mean he did not stop until now?

Joshua felt so concerned for him.

Jeonghan was sitting on the cold marble floor. A camera laid on top of the table in front of him. The same camera that Jeonghan used in order to record Joshua's childhood memories back in Jeonju. 

Their wedding video was playing out in the camera at that moment.

Jeonghan was watching the video of them exchanging their wedding vows. 

Joshua couldn't describe the cold empty feeling inside his chest after noticing that.

Joshua opened the door more widely.

“Jeonghan…” he called out hesitantly, catching Jeonghan's attention.

As soon as Jeonghan realized that Joshua was at the door, he turned the camera off, like he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be.

“What is this, Jeonghan?” Joshua asked worriedly, pointing to all the mess in the room.

Jeonghan stood up, his eyes were bloodshot, like he had been either crying for too long or preventing the tears from escaping. Joshua couldn't even tell if he was drunk or sober.

“I-I am sorry, Joshuji. I just don't know how to deal with this tightness in my chest. You guys will leave early in the morning and I'm counting every single hours—”

Joshua's eyes widened slightly, guilt stricken, “You knew we will leave in the morning.”

Jeonghan smiled, or at least tried to smile but he still looked so much in pain, “Yeah. Wonwoo never really fully trusted me, you know,” he said. Joshua looked down in shame, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, “I know you two probably don't trust me. But I still want to assure you about this, Joshuji. You don't have to worry about me. I won't call your dad to tell him your location or anything.”

Joshua looked up, shaking his head. He wanted to say that he trusted Jeonghan fully, that he trusted Jeonghan more than himself. But Jeonghan looked fully convinced that Joshua hated him and distrusted him, “Jeonghan it's not like that—”

“It’s okay, Shuji. I understand where Wonwoo is coming from. He has no fault here,” Jeonghan spoke, turning around to the table next to him. Joshua couldn't see what he was doing as his back was facing Joshua. But he heard the sound of a bottle cap being opened.

Jeonghan continued speaking, “He knows you will leave me forever this time. He knows that it will hurt me a lot. So maybe that's why he chose to hide it from me.”

Saying that Jeonghan took out some pills from that bottle and put them all in his mouth at the same time, swallowing them in one go.

Joshua noticed it and his heart dropped, “W-What did you just eat, Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan took a few deep breaths, evening it out. He turned around, letting out a weak chuckle.

“Sleeping pills. I don't want to wake up in the morning to see you leave. I won't be able to tolerate that.”

Slowly, he walked over to where Joshua was standing.

He held out the camera for the younger one to take.

“This is for you. Consider this a small gift from me,”

Joshua took the camera from his hand.

“I have your childhood stories and all the places you loved to be in Jeonju recorded here. When you finally get married to the one you love and have kids, show these memories to them, okay?”

Jeonghan leaned against the table, letting out an empty chuckle, “Tell them that there used to be this weirdo called Jeonghan you really hated. He is the one who recorded all these videos,” he took a deep breath, glancing at Joshua, “Oh and please delete the video of the wedding. I couldn't bring myself to do it. So please do it on behalf of me, Joshuji.”

Joshua bit his lower lip, biting them hard until he felt blood in his mouth. He didn't know where all this sadness was coming from. The tightness inside his chest was unbearable. The more Jeonghan spoke, the more it got harder to breathe.

Especially at the mention of deleting their wedding video. 

Their wedding.

Jeonghan probably noticed the change of look on Joshua's face as he smiled a little.

“Don’t look so sad. Our marriage was not even real in the first place. Nothing about that marriage was genuine. It was just a show. Marriage is supposed to be the union of two hearts but I knew your heart was elsewhere when you said your vows,” the bitter smile on Jeonghan's face made Joshua want to shut his ears completely. So he wouldn't have to hear this painful confession. So he wouldn't have to acknowledge the pain in Jeonghan's voice. He didn't want to listen to this anymore. 

But Jeonghan continued, “Our marriage can't be real, Joshuji because we both know that you did not consent to this. You were forced into this marriage. So, forgive me for doing this. Forgive me for marrying you. Forgive me for kissing you at the altar. And forgive me for being this crazy for you. If I could love you any less in order to stop this madness, I would try to. But I can't.”

A tear rolled down Jeonghan's cheek finally. And Joshua heard his own heart breaking apart inside his chest at the sight. Jeonghan was hurting so much and all Joshua could do was just stand there and watch because Joshua didn't know what to do to alleviate the older's pain, to soothe his bleeding heart.

“You should go and sleep now, Joshuji. It's already late. We had to pretend to be husbands all this time because of our circumstances. But now you're no longer required to pretend. You are free to go and marry the one you actually love this time. I hope you're happy with your marriage this time. Just know that I will always pray for your happiness.”

Joshua opened his lips to say something but nothing came out. Because once again, what was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do to console the broken hearted man in front of him without hurting him any more than he already did?

Joshua didn't know.

He turned around slowly. He took only a step but then he stopped. Another question popped into his mind immediately. He couldn't leave without having a proper closure. He couldn't just leave Jeonghan in this state.

Joshua turned around to face Jeonghan, asking hesitantly,

“After we leave, what will you do, Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan remained silent.

Joshua waited for his answer.

There was a bitter smile on Jeonghan's face after recalling something. It once again made Joshua feel like someone was gripping onto his heart tightly and suffocating it.

Jeonghan started speaking softly, “Did you know, Joshuji? That my mom died as soon as I was born? And then my dad turned into a workaholic in order to cope with the pain of losing his other half. You could say that I had no parents beside my side while I grew up,”

Jeonghan turned to him, meeting his eyes, “I am not saying this to gain your sympathy. I remember you once asking me out of annoyance who raised me to be like this. I know you didn't mean it like that. But at that time it got me thinking you know. That maybe if only I had a better upbringing, a better family, I wouldn't turn out to be this fucked up. Maybe I would be normal. And then you would have reciprocated my feelings.”

Jeonghan looked down. Joshua breathed heavily, guilt and regret swallowing him whole. He had always insulted Jeonghan for behaving obsessively, for running after him. Never once did he stop to question how Jeonghan turned out to be like this. Never once did he pause to know Jeonghan more.

He didn't even know that Jeonghan's mother was dead.

Joshua watched with bated breath as Jeonghan continued.

“I couldn't get my mom's love after being born. I couldn't get my dad's affection because he was always too busy. After finding you and loving you, I thought it would finally fulfill all the empty spaces in my heart. But I couldn't get your love either because you have always hated me deep down,” Jeonghan spoke tiredly.

Joshua looked up to deny the claim. He didn't want Jeonghan to believe that he hated him before they parted their ways. 

Hate was the last thing he felt for Jeonghan at that moment.

But Jeonghan didn't give him the chance to interrupt. He turned his back to Joshua and continued.

“The only person who ever gave me his unconditional love and affection, and treated me like his own son was your dad. But I betrayed that person, Joshuji,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion as he took a deep breath before dropping his next words, “So after you leave, I will go to your father and seek his forgiveness.”

Joshua's eyes widened in shock and fear. 

“Have you gone mad, Jeonghan?! My dad will literally kill you if you go in front of him.”

Jeonghan didn't show any emotion, like the idea of Joshua's father killing him didn't faze him at all.

“I don't care, Joshuji. I think that'd be the best decision if he just kills me because living like this is also of no use,” Jeonghan said carelessly.

But when Jeonghan noticed the look of fear in Joshua's eyes after saying that, he let out a chuckle, shaking his head. He probably scared the younger one a bit too much with his drunk blabbering.

He didn't want to make Joshua feel guilty for not being able to return his feelings.

“Just kidding. Don't worry about me, Joshuji. I will be fine. Go now and have a safe journey.”

Jeonghan said, leaving no room for any more conversation. He walked towards his fishbowl where his precious pet goldfish lived. This was the only thing that had been constant in his life for the past few months.

Jeonghan poured some goldfish food into the bowl, hoping it would suffice. Because he didn't know when he would get to feed his pet again.

His eyes were already getting heavy with sleep and weariness. The effect of the sleeping pills was kicking in.

Joshua walked towards the door slowly, about to leave. But once again he stopped on the doorstep. 

His heart started beating faster as he recalled something. 

He turned around and called out Jeonghan's name.

“Jeonghan?” His voice was soft and tender. It was the first time he called Jeonghan like this with no malice, no hatred, no annoyance. Just pure softness, “Was it sweet and loving enough?”

Jeonghan turned to him, chuckling slightly, “No.”

Joshua's eyes visibly got sadder hearing that.

But then Jeonghan reassured him, “But it's the thought that counts. The fact that you wanted to call my name with love is more than enough for me, Joshuji. Thank you. I will remember this.”

Joshua nodded, though it didn't make him feel any better. He scolded himself internally for even thinking about himself at that moment when it was clearly Jeonghan who he should be worried about right now.

He watched as Jeonghan laid on top of the bed and closed his eyes.

Joshua turned around, preparing to leave. There was no point in staying anymore. He felt like he was only making Jeonghan's pain worse by bugging him.

But then Jeonghan called out his name all of a sudden. His voice was weak and drowsy.

Joshua bit his lower lip nervously. Why did this happen every single time he decided to leave? He was already having a hard time saying goodbye to Jeonghan permanently.

“Joshuji?” 

Joshua hummed, not turning around. 

“Have you really never loved me even for a second in your entire life?”

Joshua's heart skipped a beat inside his chest. And then it started rushing. The question alone was enough to send his heart into a frenzy.

Did Joshua ever love Jeonghan even for a second? 

Joshua didn't know. 

But there was nothing to think about.

If Jeonghan wanted to hear from Joshua's mouth that he had loved Jeonghan at least once, even for a second, and if it made him even slightly happy, then Joshua would tell him so without any hesitation. 

Joshua turned around to reply.

But Jeonghan had already passed out by then. The effect of the sleeping pills must have been powerful. He had succumbed to sleep within a few seconds.

His heart clenched in pain inside chest, realizing their final moment was over.

Joshua took one last look at Jeonghan's sleeping face and then at the goldfish kept on the bedside table beside him before leaving the room.

This time no one stopped him.

The next morning, Wonwoo put their luggage in the car trunk.

He looked at the door of the resthouse and saw Joshua walking out. But unlike him, who was in a rush to go to the airport as soon as possible, Joshua seemed to be in no hurry. He didn't even look like he was about to go to the airport to leave the country.

“What’s with you not getting ready faster? And what's that thing in your hand?”

Joshua was holding the camera Jeonghan gave him. The younger one smiled a little looking at it.

“This? Jeonghan gave this to me. All my childhood memories are stored in it.”

Wonwoo let out a chuckle in disbelief, clenching his jaw, “I am here trying to get us to safety as soon as possible and you're being stupid with that stupid thing in your hand? Just what is wrong with you, Shua?” 

The small smile on Joshua's face disappeared quickly at Wonwoo's behavior. His face hardened as he looked away from Wonwoo.

Wonwoo got inside the car and started the engine. He didn't see the way Joshua's mood had changed, “Get in the car now. And Jeonghan doesn't know that we're going right now, does he?”

“He knows.” Joshua said calmly.

Wonwoo looked at him in shock.

“The fuck do you mean he knows? What if he calls your father now and lets him know?”

“He won't.” 

Wonwoo ran a hand through his hair in frustration, cursing underneath his breath.

“He will call him, Joshua.” 

“He won't call my dad and I'm sure of it. I trust him.” Joshua said with certainty.

“You are naive and he will take advantage of that naiveness of yours, Shua. You don't fucking know him.”

Joshua glared at him, speaking sternly.

“I have known him longer than you did, Wonwoo. He won't call my dad.”

Right at that moment, the sound of multiple cars heading to their rest house could be heard from afar. One look and it was clear that those were Joshua's father's men and their cars.

What Wonwoo feared was now happening. 

“See? Your father is here. That bastard called him for sure! Get in the car fast, Shua!”

“Jeonghan did not call him.” Joshua spoke calmly.

“If Jeonghan did not call him, then how the fuck does your father know that we're here and we will be leaving?!”

“Because I called dad.”

Wonwoo froze on his spot. He turned to Joshua slowly. He was visibly shocked by the sudden confession. Because he never expected Joshua of all people to call Hong Jaehyuk and let him know their location.

“I called my dad here, Wonwoo. Because once we leave this place, we will probably be very happy together. But what will happen to Jeonghan then? My dad will kill him, Wonwoo. Why should Jeonghan give his life for our love?”

Wonwoo slammed his fist on the steering wheel.

“But now your dad will kill us, Joshua. Are you fucking crazy?!”

But Joshua stood his ground.

“My dad trusts me a lot. He loves me too. I-I will convince him to hear us out—”

Before Joshua could finish his sentence, a gunshot could be heard.

One of his father's men shot the tire of their car, so they won't be able to escape by any chance. 

Wonwoo got out of the car quickly and grabbed Joshua's hand, planning to run.

But they were surrounded from every direction.

The black car stopped a few metres away from them and Joshua's father got out of it.

By his looks, it was clear that he wasn't here to talk.

He was out for blood.

The goldfish inside the fishbowl was jumping out of the water again and again. It was almost like the pet fish was restless, like it could sense that there was an impending doom waiting for everyone.

Jeonghan was fast asleep on the bed. He had taken more than 5 sleeping pills. They were strong pills. He wasn't supposed to wake up any time soon. 

So, even if there were sounds of loud commotion outside, even sounds of gunshots, he didn't move.

But then the fish finally jumped out of the bowl and landed on his face. The water from the fish’s body splashed on Jeonghan's face, making the older squint his eyes. It took Jeonghan a few moments to clear out his vision. 

He opened his eyes with a lot of strength to find that fish flapping on the bed helplessly. 

He was confused but he didn't think much of it.

Quickly, he put the fish back inside the bowl.

He held his head in his hands, groaning in pain. 

His head felt like it was splitting in half. He felt dizzy and lightheaded.

Another loud sound of a gunshot could be heard and it made him finally snap out of his bubble and made him aware of his surroundings.

Confused, Jeonghan dragged himself out of the bed. He went outside on shaky legs, wondering what was happening.

Then he saw people. A lot of people in their yard.

Joshua's father was there. His men too. There were Minho, Daejung and so many familiar faces. Because Jeonghan had once stayed with them inside the same place.

They were hitting Wonwoo and Joshua was being held back by some of his father's men so he wouldn't be able to intervene. Joshua was crying helplessly and begging his father to stop and hear him out once. But no one was listening to him.

Jeonghan couldn't let them kill Wonwoo just like that. Because he knew it would kill Joshua to see someone die because of him. Joshua wouldn't be able to live with that.

Jeonghan went there just in time to intervene. 

The next few minutes were a blur of shouting, screaming and gunshots.

Jeonghan tried his best to convince Mr. Hong to stop, to solve this matter calmly. But Hong Jaehyuk had already made up his mind.

He came here with the sole purpose of killing Wonwoo. And he wouldn't be convinced.

With his order, his men were about to kill Wonwoo.

Joshua begged his father not to do this. He shook his head. This was not fair. He didn't want anyone to die just because of him.

“Dad, please don't do anything to Wonwoo. Please tell them to put down their guns—”

But Jaehyuk wasn't in the mood to hear anyone out at that moment. He held Joshua's arm firmly, glaring at him, “You are a shame to our entire family, Joshua. I should have never raised a promiscuous son like you!”

With that, Joshua's father slapped his son hard. It made Joshua's lips start bleeding immediately.

Jeonghan saw red. 

He rushed in between them, grabbing Joshua and shoving him behind his back, “Joshua is my husband now, Dad. He might be your son but you have no right to hit my husband,” Jeonghan said, his jaw clenched, “Joshua has no fault here, dad. Please don't say anything to him. It's my fault.”

Joshua's father let out a scoff, his eyes burning with fury, “Yeah, right. It's your fault. I have made a mistake by trusting my son to you. I should have never done that. I should just kill you first for tainting the reputation of my family—”

He pointed the barrel of the gun at Jeonghan's forehead.

Joshua's eyes widened in fear. He cried out, begging his father not to do this. 

But it was Daejung who intervened before anyone else, “Master, don't do anything to Jeonghan. He is our son-in-law. He loves our young master. He is not at fault here,” 

His eyes then landed on Wonwoo who was standing just a few feet away from them, who wasn't doing anything to protect Joshua. He didn't even move a muscle to protect Joshua's honor when Joshua's father degraded him. 

Even to new people, it was clear as day who was the selfish one here, who was the one at fault here.

Daejung pointed his own gun at Wonwoo, “I know who is the root of all problems and what will solve all these. If this bastard here dies right here, our young master can finally live happily with Jeonghan without any trouble.”

It happened in the blink of an eye.

No one saw it coming.

Unlike everyone else, Daejung didn't stop for any type of dramatics. He straight up pulled the trigger in Wonwoo's direction.

Everyone held their breath.

No one spoke.

Only Joshua screamed in terror and cried out when he realized what just happened, all sorts of colour draining from his face.

Because it wasn't Wonwoo who had just gotten shot.

It was Jeonghan. Joshua's husband. The only man who ever loved him more than anyone else did. Enough to put his life in line for Joshua countless times.

Jeonghan had just taken the bullet meant for Wonwoo. All because he thought that his own life was less valuable to Joshua than Wonwoo's.

Joshua fell to his knees helplessly, tears streaming down his face uncontrollably.

He had never felt this devastated before. 

Chapter Text

Daejung dropped the gun from his hand immediately, regret engulfing him whole as soon as he realized that the bullet hit Jeonghan instead of who he had targeted. 

Ignoring the conflict, he ran to hold Jeonghan. 

Minho and the rest of the Hong clan members ran to Jeonghan's aid too without waiting for anyone's approval. 

It's like everyone knew that it was unfair. It was unfair that Jeonghan had to be the one to take the fall when his only fault here was loving Joshua too much. Jeonghan was not the one who was reaping the benefits from helping Joshua to elope. If anything, he was the one who would have been hurt the most when Joshua left.

And yet it was Jeonghan who was now on the verge of death.

Joshua's father stood there frozen on his spot. He had always known that Jeonghan loved Joshua like crazy. But he hadn't known the extent of Jeonghan's love went this far. His anger, his resentment, his disappointment about having found out that Joshua had run away disappeared immediately as he walked towards the injured man. He kneeled down to hold Jeonghan's bloodied hand.

When Daejung saw that Jeonghan's pulse was still there, though weak, he called an ambulance immediately. They could bring Jeonghan to the hospital in their car but Daegu was unfamiliar territory to them. No one knew the way around this city except for Jeonghan. So, calling an ambulance was the best choice they had.

They all tried their best to stop the bleeding from Jeonghan's wound. The thought of taking revenge or killing people vanished from everyone's mind completely.

Joshua felt like his legs were too numb to stand on.

But he forced himself to be on his feet to run to Jeonghan, to hold him, to tell him that he was going to be okay.

But Wonwoo held his arm from behind.

Joshua turned around to see the man standing there with no regret or guilt on his face.

“Come on, Joshua. Everyone's busy with Jeonghan right now. This is the perfect time for us to run away—”

Joshua had never felt this much rage towards someone before. He couldn't believe he once thought that he was in love with this man. Jeonghan just took the bullet that was supposed to hit Wonwoo and Wonwoo was still worried about running away?

How could Joshua have not seen it sooner that Wonwoo was only using him for his own ego to defeat Jeonghan? He was never in love with Joshua. It was not about loving Joshua. It was always about his rivalry with Jeonghan.

Joshua was just an object, a trophy for him to conquer in order to defeat Jeonghan.

“Leave my hand, Wonwoo,” Joshua said sternly, wriggling his wrist to free himself.

But Wonwoo only pulled harder, “Come along with me, Joshua. This is not the time to be sentimental!”

If looks could kill, Wonwoo would already be six feet underneath now. 

“Jeonghan is literally dying, Wonwoo! How could you be this apathetic?”

“Then let him fucking die. What is it to you if he's dying or not?!” 

The sound of a loud slap echoed in that place. Joshua's free hand slapped him before he could get any more words out 

“Because he's my husband.” Joshua said with gritted teeth, his wet bloodshot eyes throwing daggers at Wonwoo as more tears rolled down his cheeks.

His chest heaved up and down in anger.

Wonwoo froze on his spot, the slap burning on his cheek. 

Joshua's stern answer, acknowledging Jeonghan as his husband finally, him slapping Wonwoo without any hesitation and now looking at him with absolute hatred seemed to have made Wonwoo realize where the younger's heart truly lied. 

It wasn't him.

It was Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan was no longer someone Joshua hated. He had become something more. 

Whatever changed between the two of them in the past few weeks, it was prominent enough to make Joshua finally fall for Jeonghan and acknowledge it too.

Wonwoo's grip on Joshua's wrist loosened.

Joshua yanked his wrist free from his grip and made a run for Jeonghan, not sparing Wonwoo another glance.

The ambulance was here. They had to rush to the hospital fast.

Nothing at that moment mattered to Joshua more than Jeonghan. He wouldn't be able to live if something happened to Jeonghan.

“Please stay alive. Please be fine just for me, Jeonghan-ah,” Joshua begged, holding Jeonghan's hand tightly as the door to the ambulance closed.

-Flashback end-

Joshua flinched, waking up abruptly to find himself sitting on top of one of the hospital benches, his head resting on top of his father's shoulder. His father was sitting there grimly.

The last thing he remembered before passing out was that he was waiting by the operation theatre as they took Jeonghan away from him. He was standing there until he couldn't bring himself to stand on his two feet anymore. He was still right there, sitting on the cold floor and sobbing as he prayed for Jeonghan to be alright.

He might have passed out in exhaustion there and then his dad brought him here.

Joshua glanced at his father, his eyes red from all the crying.

“D-Dad, did they say anything about Jeonghan yet? How is he now dad? Will he be alright? P-Please tell me he will be alright. Please tell me that he will make it—” 

Joshua sobbed hysterically, holding onto his father's hand like it was the last thing keeping him sane.

It broke Jaehyuk's heart to see his dearest son cry like this, to see him in so much pain. Growing up, Joshua had always been a good kid. He had never thrown tantrums nor did he ever cry like this for anything.

To see such a calm and collected son of his finally breaking down in this moment, Jaehyuk realized how devastated Joshua was. His son was not even thinking clearly anymore.

Maybe he had been wrong when he thought Joshua didn't love Jeonghan. Maybe Joshua actually had feelings for his husband all along.

He patted Joshua's back, wiping his tears away.

“Don’t cry, Jisoo. Everything will be fine. Don't lose hope,” he assured his son, wishing his words would come true, wishing Jeonghan would make it out safely.

A nurse approached them right at that moment.

“Who is the family member of patient Yoon Jeonghan here?” she asked.

At the mention of Jeonghan's name, Joshua quickly got up from his seat, wiping his tears.

“I-I am his family.”

“How are you related to the patient? We need a signature here from one of his close family members.”

Joshua opened his mouth to say something but then he hesitated. How was he related to Jeonghan? He was Jeonghan's lawfully wedded husband. He could just say that. 

However, this would be the first time he would be claiming it in front of someone else that's not family. He hadn't come to terms with it back then when they had just gotten married. But now he was sure of his feelings.

The hesitation lasted only for a few seconds as he cleared his throat, embracing their married status fully.

“I am his husband. Give me the papers. I will sign them.” he managed to say with a stable voice. 

The nurse handed him the papers and Joshua signed them all, handing it back to her. 

He looked at the nurse expectantly, hoping to find out something about Jeonghan's condition right then, his teary eyes worried and somewhat scared. He was afraid of hearing any bad news.

“Can you tell me about my husband's condition now? How is he now? Was the operation successful? Will he wake up today?” He threw one question after another, his heartbeat rushing inside his chest in worry.

The nurse checked the reports on her hand again and replied, “The bullet didn't hit any of his vital organs. So, he's out of danger for now. But his condition is still delicate. His body is weak due to overconsumption of sleeping pills and now the anesthesia. So, he would need a lot of rest,” she paused, checking another report, “As for when he would wake up, we can't tell for sure. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. It could even be after a week. Please give it some time,”

The nurse checked her wristwatch, “I have to get going now. You can meet the patient in an hour.”

With that, the nurse left, leaving Joshua in a state of mess.

He dropped on the bench again, holding his head in his hands.

He felt relieved that Jeonghan was alive and out of danger. But the nagging sensation inside his heart still didn't go away. The nurse said he was still weak and in a delicate state. He must be in so much pain. And it was all Joshua's fault. It was his own fault that now Jeonghan was in this state.

Joshua could only wait until he was allowed to meet Jeonghan again. He felt suffocated without being able to look at Jeonghan's face.

Joshua didn't know what he was expecting when he opened the door to the recovery room where Jeonghan was staying.

But it sure wasn't this.

Joshua had known Jeonghan for a long time. They met when they were just kids. And now it has been twelve years since then. Joshua had never seen Jeonghan looking this vulnerable before. Jeonghan had always been strong and steadfast. Maybe a little bit of an idiot but that's also because he just wanted to have Joshua's attention.

That same Jeonghan was now lying unconscious on the hospital bed. The same Jeonghan barely made it out alive after taking a bullet that wasn't meant for him as his last resort to preserve Joshua's happiness.

There were so many wires attached to his body. He was breathing steadily under the oxygen mask. His face looked so calm, like he was only taking a small nap, like he wasn't about to die.

Joshua walked closer to the bed, his steps slow.

“Jeonghan…” he called out softly, his lips trembling as a tear rolled down his cheek.

No response.

“H-Hannie…” he called out again, like it would magically wake Jeonghan up, a sob erupted from his chest, “Am I able to call you lovingly now, Hannie? Does it sound genuine? P-Please tell me,” he cried.

Sitting on the chair by the bed, he scooted closer and held one of Jeonghan's hands, “Please open your eyes and take a look, Jeonghannie,” Joshua sobbed, “You always wanted your Joshuji to be by your side forever, didn't you? Please open your eyes and look at this, Jeonghan-ah…Your Joshuji is ready to stay with you for the rest of his life. I will never leave you. I promise to love you forever. Please just wake up…”

His tears started drenching Jeonghan's hand. Joshua couldn't stop himself from sobbing out loud, letting it all out. The guilt, the fear, the pain, everything was too much. 

“You were wrong, Jeonghan-ah…didn't you say that our marriage was just a show? That i-it wasn't real because my heart was elsewhere when I said my vows? Who told you to come to this conclusion all by yourself? Why did you assume this, Jeonghan?” Joshua asked, sniffling, “I did not think of anyone when I said my vows. I only thought of you. I only saw your face when I closed my eyes. And that's what scared me the most because I didn't know I could fall for you just like that…” 

Joshua remembered how he couldn't bring himself to look at Jeonghan's face during their wedding, during the exchange of their vows. Because his heart was beating out of his chest. It was too loud. He felt so nervous around Jeonghan when it shouldn't have been like that. 

And when they finally kissed, Joshua did not think of anyone. All he could feel was Jeonghan's lips moving against his and their hearts beating in sync. Joshua only thought of Jeonghan and how much he wanted that kiss to never end.

“You said that our marriage wasn't real. But it's not true. Our wedding was not just for show, Jeonghannie. Forgive your Joshuji for not reassuring you about this earlier. Forgive him for being so cold and heartless to you. Forgive him for not loving you sooner. Please forgive me, Hannie,” Joshua sobbed, his face buried in Jeonghan's hand, kissing his calloused palm. 

He lifted his head up to take a proper look at the older man's face, “We said our vows in front of everyone…. We said we'll be by each other's side forever. You told me that you'll love me and cherish me everyday. You need to keep your words, Hannie. Please wake up and speak to me. Please….”

Heart was a weird thing, wasn't it? Joshua had once thought that he could never love someone like Jeonghan. But now look at him. Now he would do anything just to have Jeonghan open his eyes and look at him once again. 

Joshua didn't even know why he used to feel that annoyed with Jeonghan back then. He only ever noticed the annoying things Jeonghan did, but never the things that made Joshua's life easier.

Jeonghan made sure that no guy ever bothered him or touched him without his consent. 

Jeonghan would leave his notes for Joshua on his desk to read back then even though Joshua insulted him so much.

Jeonghan travelled all the way to Busan in order to stop his marriage just so Joshua wouldn't have to be stuck in a loveless marriage.

Jeonghan did everything in his ability to always make sure of his happiness. Even though it only broke him further. Jeonghan loved him unconditionally, without asking for anything in return. 

How could Jeonghan love him so much? Joshua would never find the answer to this question because Jeonghan's love and devotion for him was incomparable and completely unadulterated.

“See…I didn't even realize when I came to fall in love with you. You always thought that I hated you, right Hannie? Maybe I did. A long time ago. But a love like yours can melt even the coldest of hearts. It has melted mine. Because I don't know when I ended up falling for you this hard, Jeonghan. I love you….I love you so fucking much, I could die,” Joshua confessed tearfully. He gripped Jeonghan's hand tightly as more sobs erupted from his chest, “Please wake up fast…please—”

Joshua continued crying beside the unconscious Jeonghan without any care for the world. There was nothing in his mind anymore except for just Jeonghan. He just wanted Jeonghan to wake up, so that he could hear Joshua confess to him, so that he could know how much Joshua loved him.

Jeonghan had gone through his whole life thinking nobody loved him. He thought Joshua hated him too. That was also Joshua's fault for never acknowledging Jeonghan's love for him, for insulting Jeonghan, for ever ridiculing Jeonghan and for telling him that he hated the older one for loving him the only way he knew how to. 

Jeonghan was completely innocent and yet Joshua's cruel words and actions have always made the older one feel like his love was not enough. Joshua had told Jeonghan that his love for Joshua was not real.

That might have broken Jeonghan so much. Joshua remembered the distinct moment when Jeonghan's eyes had widened and reflected the hurt he had felt as soon as Joshua accused him of that. Joshua had been too blind in rage to acknowledge it back then.

That should have made Jeonghan stay away from him from then onwards. But Jeonghan never backed down from proving again and again his unadulterated love and devotion for Joshua. 

Joshua hated himself. He hated himself so much for being so stubborn and refusing to see what was in front of him all along. Deep down, he had always known that Jeonghan loved him more than anyone else in the world did.

But because of his own foolish ego, he refused to acknowledge that and continued to hurt Jeonghan.

Now Jeonghan was in this state just because of him.

Joshua could never forgive himself for this.

By the door, Joshua's father watched as his son broke down in tears again and again and sobbed. His face and eyes had gone red from all the crying. 

He slowly made his way towards Joshua, placing a gentle hand on his son's shoulder.

Joshua looked up at his father and his crying only intensified.

“D-Dad, Jeonghan is not talking to me….He is not talking to me even after I told him that I am sorry. P-Please tell him to wake up, Dad. T-Tell him to talk to me please—”

Jaehyuk held Joshua in his arms protectively. His son was not even thinking clearly anymore because this was not him. He was acting childishly, demanding he make Jeonghan wake up and talk when it was not possible.

“Calm down, Jisoo. If you keep crying like this here in front of Jeonghan, it will just hurt him more. He hates seeing you cry, did you forget?” He tried to pacify Joshua, patting the younger's back.

Joshua's sobs died down a bit, hearing his father's words. The thought of hurting Jeonghan any more than he already did scared him.

“Let’s leave him alone for now. He needs rest. We'll meet him again later, okay? Let's go outside.” Jaehyuk tried to convince him, pulling him outside gently.

Joshua didn't want to go but he knew his father was right. Jeonghan needed rest and he was probably being a nuisance here right now. Even if it hurt him to stay away from Jeonghan, he had to do this.

As they walked outside, Joshua kept looking back. He kept turning around as if hoping Jeonghan would open his eyes and call him. 

But he realized it was futile. 

Biting his lower lip and suppressing his sob, he dragged his feet forward, walking along with his father.

He had just crossed the hallway where Jeonghan was admitted when he heard it.

The sound of a whistle.

It was low and sounded a bit weak. But the tune was familiar.

It was so familiar Joshua had no choice but to turn around abruptly, recognition filling his eyes.

“Jeonghan…” he whispered.

His father was confused by this sudden action but Joshua didn't wait to explain anything to him.

He just ran, his heart beating loudly inside his chest.

Joshua could never mistake this tune for anything else. Jeonghan whistled this same tune 12 years ago when Joshua had stepped his foot on Jeonghan's bubble gum for the first time. Jeonghan played this same tune once again when Joshua stepped on his bubble gum for the second time in University.

This tune was something that Joshua could relate to only Jeonghan.

He stopped by the doorway of Jeonghan's room and his heart leaped up in joy to see the scene in front of him.

There he was. 

Jeonghan was awake. He had taken off the oxygen mask. His lips a pale pink and his face looked tired but there was still a gleam of happiness on his face. And he was the one whistling this tune.

He lifted his hand up for Joshua to take.

The same way he did 12 years ago.

The same way he did on Joshua's first day in college.

Joshua had rejected holding his hand both times.

But this time Joshua walked closer to him, a fresh batch of tears started streaming down his face. However, it wasn't out of sadness this time. It was out of happiness, out of gratitude. 

Joshua took Jeonghan's hand and intertwined their fingers together. 

Jeonghan took a shaky breath, seemingly not being able to believe that it was real.

Carefully, Joshua helped him sit up. Jeonghan wiped Joshua's tears away as soon as Joshua sat beside him.

They couldn't bring themselves to speak. Not yet. They only stared into each other's eyes, all the emotions and unsaid words lodged in their throats, waiting to be spilled. 

Jeonghan's eyes were wet with tears too. That made Joshua wonder whether he had heard all the things Joshua said to him earlier. He hoped Jeonghan did. He hoped Jeonghan knew how much Joshua was in love with him.

“I love you, Jeonghan,” Joshua confessed once again, holding Jeonghan's hand and looking into his eyes.

There were so many emotions swirling inside Jeonghan's eyes after hearing it Joshua wished he had said it sooner. He had never seen Jeonghan this emotional before.

“I know,” Jeonghan replied softly. He sounded breathless, his lips trembling, “I have heard everything, Joshuji.”

That opened the floodgates again and Joshua began crying.

Jeonghan chuckled tearfully, opening his arms for Joshua to hug him.

Joshua hesitated because Jeonghan had just undergone an operation and he didn't want to accidentally hurt the older man. But Jeonghan pulled him closer, making room for Joshua on the bed.

Joshua let himself be engulfed in a warm hug, resting his head on Jeonghan's shoulder. He felt Jeonghan's tears drenching his hair and face. Jeonghan was crying too. 

Joshua looked up at him, sniffling. Jeonghan looked at him like he had gotten everything in the whole world, like he couldn't believe this moment was real. He was looking into Joshua's eyes with both love and fear, holding Joshua tightly like he was afraid this was just a figment of his imagination.

The older one removed the stray bangs off Joshua's forehead and kissed him on the forehead.

“Don’t cry anymore, Shuji. I'm not going anywhere,” he assured, hugging Joshua tightly.

Joshua buried his face deeper into the crook of Jeonghan's neck, nodding even though he was still crying.

The tears just won't stop.

Both of them couldn't stop crying and holding onto each other desperately. 

This was everything Jeonghan ever wanted. 

And this was everything Joshua had ever prayed for.

Neither of them could believe it was real. But it was fine. They were willing to take their time getting used to this new reality where both of them loved and wanted each other desperately, where there wouldn't be any more heartbreaks, where both of them found their greatest love.

Joshua pulled away slightly to kiss Jeonghan on the lips. Jeonghan kissed back, holding Joshua's face gently. That kiss conveyed all the suppressed feelings they couldn't express with words. It made them feel their longing and yearning for each other.

Their tears mingled with each other. And Jeonghan found himself smiling against the other's lips.

They broke the kiss, looking into each other's eyes. No matter how much they looked at each other, it still wasn't enough. They just couldn't take their eyes off each other.

“I love you,” Joshua whispered again, “I love you. I love you so much that I am afraid I will do anything for you, whatever you ask of me. I hope you know that, Jeonghan-ah.”

Jeonghan's lips trembled as he nodded. He wanted to say I love you back but his throat felt clogged up with emotions. He couldn't bring himself to speak.

This felt surreal. This felt like a dream. Jeonghan had only ever dreamt of a moment like this. But never dared to think it would turn into reality one day.

He felt like he was the luckiest man on top of this earth. The love of his life, his passion, his heart's desire, the only person who ever made him want to live this life was now returning his feelings. Joshua was here and he was confessing to him. He was tucked in Jeonghan's arms safely.

Jeonghan could die of happiness. 

“I love you too, my love,” Jeonghan replied softly, kissing the younger one on the lips again. Joshua placed a palm on top of Jeonghan's that was holding his cheek and kissed back. Their kiss turned passionate within a second, lips moving in sync, conveying their desire and yearning. They had no care for the whole world around them.

In the confines of the silent room, the two lovers lost themselves in each other. They held onto each other tightly and kissed again and again to make up for all the lost time.

Joshua regretted not realizing his feelings sooner. But it was fine. Now that Jeonghan was safe, he had all the time in the world to love Jeonghan and show him how special he was to Joshua.

This was only their beginning.

The beginning of their happy life.

The next few weeks were a blur of hospital visits, changing bandages and unending tantrums from Jeonghan who wanted to leave the hospital as soon as possible.

Joshua was not listening to any of those complaints. For those few weeks, he stayed by Jeonghan's side all the time. He even refused to go back home to rest. He literally stayed in that hospital to take better care of Jeonghan.

They asked the hospital staff to bring another bed to Jeonghan's room just so Joshua would be able to keep an eye on him 24/7. 

Joshua spoonfed him with his own hand, helped to change his bandages everyday so the wound wouldn't get inflected, and gave him a sponge bath every three days to make sure the older one was healthy and comfortable. Joshua did everything with a smile on his face because he genuinely enjoyed doing things for Jeonghan.

Jeonghan didn't feel like a liability. He could see the fondness and affection in Joshua's eyes every time Joshua looked at him, every time Joshua kissed him. He could feel Joshua's sincerity in his actions. He could see that Joshua was trying his best. The younger one was dedicated to his well being. 

There were moments when Jeonghan would catch Joshua crying in the middle of the night. Joshua would be sniffling underneath the blanket. Because he was still guilty for everything that happened to Jeonghan so far.

Jeonghan tried his best to assure the younger one that it was fine. He was fine. The past didn't matter anymore. Joshua shouldn't beat himself anymore about what happened in the past.

Sure there were a lot of traumatic incidents in the past that hurt Jeonghan a lot but Jeonghan didn't want to hold on to them anymore. Now that he finally got to have Joshua in his arms, he just wanted to forget about everything and start over with a fresh beginning.

Joshua agreed to not bring up the past anymore, listening to Jeonghan's words. He promised that he would only focus on their present to make it as special as possible.

They were just two people who were trying their best to unlearn everything they did in the past and learning to love each other freely this time without carrying the baggage of their past faults.

After three weeks, Jeonghan was finally released from the hospital. His wound had healed completely. At least that's what Jeonghan kept telling Joshua.

But Joshua did not believe him. He was still hovering around Jeonghan like a mama bird, checking up on Jeonghan and fussing about his well-being if the older one so as even let out a small “ouch” while moving.

Jeonghan couldn't make up his mind yet about whether he liked this new overprotective Joshua or preferred his past nonchalant self. He could only chuckle fondly every time Joshua fussed about him not doing what the younger one told him to. Joshua would cross his arms in front of his chest and pout like a baby whenever Jeonghan didn't listen — like not eating his vegetables, picking up something heavy or smoking cigarettes.

Sometimes Jeonghan purposely didn't listen to Joshua just so he could see the petulant and yet adorable pout on the younger's plump lips.

They had gotten much closer than the past due to their joint effort to get to know each other better. It also helped that they were literally married and could be as intimate with each other as they wanted.

Since Joshua was still young and hadn't completed his degree yet, they continued their education in Hwangnam University. Two months after Jeonghan got out of the hospital, they resumed their classes. 

At this point, everyone in the University knew that they were happily married. It was a long story to explain to Joshua's friends who couldn't fathom how Joshua went from hating Jeonghan's guts to being completely in love with him. But it was worth it, trying to explain the whole thing to them.

Now nobody teased him about hallucinating about kissing Jeonghan anymore because Jeonghan had no problem kissing and claiming Joshua as his lover and husband in front of the whole damn University.

Joshua couldn't be happier about how things turned out to be.

Everything was going fine. Until Joshua found out something around that time that made his blood boil.

Julie and Suzy were happy about Jeonghan and Joshua's marriage after they learnt that they both loved each other. It made the two girls share a tea with Joshua that they thought Joshua should know about.

It was about Wonwoo.

The name itself was enough to make Joshua curl his fist tightly in anger. He couldn't even stand the name of the man anymore after he showed his selfishness and his real intentions to Joshua the last time they were together.

Julie and Suzy told Joshua that Wonwoo had lied to Joshua back in the hospital a few months ago when he said that Jeonghan had tried to kill him. The two girls overheard some of Wonwoo's friends from the engineering department talking about this. 

Joshua could barely control his rage hearing this.

So, all along it was Wonwoo who was behind his own accident. He faked it in order to paint Jeonghan as the bad guy. All along Wonwoo had wrongfully accused Jeonghan of doing something he didn't do.

Joshua wanted to turn back time and reverse everything that happened just so he could stop himself from getting together with Wonwoo ever.

He couldn't believe he slapped Jeonghan over a lie, a well crafted one. He said so many hurtful things to Jeonghan back then. Jeonghan even cried in front of him for the first time because of this. Yet the older one didn't feel the need to explain himself once. He just accepted every accusation thrown at him and left Joshua alone afterwards.

Despite everything that happened to him, Jeonghan still put his life in line for him by going to Busan and stopping his wedding. 

Once again, Joshua realized the depth of Jeonghan's love for him.

He felt so guilty for not hearing Jeonghan's words back then. As much as he would like to say that it was entirely Wonwoo's fault, Joshua knew that some part of the blame lied on him too. He could have put a little bit of his trust on Jeonghan.

That night, Joshua confessed to Jeonghan that he knew. He knew that Jeonghan had no fault back then. He apologized to Jeonghan for slapping him, for hurting him.

And like every time, Jeonghan forgave him within a second, kissing Joshua's lips and telling him that he didn't care about the past anymore.

“I already got everything that I ever wanted in my life. What makes you think that I would have any old grudges, Joshuji? Besides, it was not even your fault. So, stop apologizing to me for everything,” Jeonghan assured him, pulling him closer to his chest under the comfort of the blanket as they laid on top of their bed.

Despite the assurance, Joshua still couldn't swallow down the guilt. He wished he could slap Wonwoo for doing this. 

Joshua already slapped him once back in Daegu for being so selfish but now that he learnt the truth about him, Joshua regretted not slapping him a few more times and much harder.

If Joshua got the chance to see that bastard again, he would make sure to land even a few punches on his stomach.

It had been six months since Jeonghan and Joshua started living together as a married couple. Six months since Jeonghan got discharged from the hospital. 

They were going to Jeonju again to visit Joshua's family since they just finished another semester in University and had a long break.

The Hong mansion looked like there was a festival going on with the way it was decorated in such a grand manner just because Jeonghan and Joshua were visiting. Everyone was so happy to welcome them.

Last time, Jeonghan and Joshua could not spend time with them properly as they had left one day abruptly and early in the morning without telling anyone. 

But this time, Joshua's family was ready to give Jeonghan the perfect son-in-law treatment. It also didn't help the fact that Jeonghan had already been their favourite even before the wedding. But now after their wedding and after knowing that Joshua had fallen in love with him, Joshua's family was even more happy and fond of him than before.

Joshua's grandmother's health visibly got better after finding out that Jeonghan would be visiting soon along with Joshua. Joshua could only shake his head in disbelief at his grandma's enthusiasm to meet Jeonghan. Everyone knew that grandma was Jeonghan's number one fan.

She still took pride in predicting Jeonghan's and Joshua's wedding long before anyone saw it coming. 

As soon as Jeonghan met her again and greeted her sheepishly, Joshua's grandma smiled proudly, wiggling her eyebrows at him playfully.

“Didn’t I tell you that you're the perfect match for my grandson? See how my words have come true,” she teased lightly, causing Jeonghan's ears to turn red as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Thank you for predicting the future when I had no hope of ever getting Joshua, grandma. I think your prayers to see me as Joshua's husband worked,” Jeonghan said, chuckling.

Just like that, Jeonghan and Joshua spent more than half of their vacation in Jeonju.

They could have gone back to Seoul after that but they still had one more activity to do before they went back.

It was Joshua's idea. Because he found out something a while ago.

Two months ago, Jeonghan gave Joshua a new diamond ring, a matching one with his own one as their wedding bands. Joshua was already wearing one from before that was given to the both of them from Joshua's dad during their wedding.

However, Jeonghan sheepishly explained that he had gotten these wedding rings made for the both of them long before Joshua came to Korea. Back then, Jeonghan was way too confident about Joshua being his. So, he had planned everything. 

He had a jeweler make these wedding bands for them years ago, hoping that one day he would get to put them on Joshua's finger. It wasn't until Joshua explicitly told him that he'd never love Jeonghan that Jeonghan had finally lost all hope and forgotten about these rings.

But now that everything had been fixed between them, Jeonghan thought it would be best if he got to propose to Joshua properly with these new wedding rings.

Joshua agreed without any hesitation. He was already crying from how thoughtful Jeonghan was. Jeonghan really had a way with his words and actions. Joshua couldn't help getting emotional about everything Jeonghan did for him.

There were so many things that Joshua didn't know about Jeonghan yet. He didn't know that Jeonghan had been planning for everything for that long. He knew he had always been the center of Jeonghan's world but it still overwhelmed him from time to time when he would find out just how much Jeonghan loved him.

Joshua didn't know whether he deserved to be loved that much.

So, right at that moment, Joshua had made up his mind about something.

He decided that he'd learn more things about Jeonghan. Jeonghan had once recorded his childhood for him. Now it was Joshua's turn to return the favour by finding out everything about Jeonghan and how he spent his life for the last one decade.

“Come on, Hannie, just tell me what you wrote about our wedding in your diary. Why are you hiding things from me now? Aren't I your other half?” Joshua sulked, poking Jeonghan's side who was sitting on the couch and reading something.

“You are, Shuji. But I told you already that I forgot about half of the things I have written there. I don't remember anymore.” Jeonghan replied, without looking into his eyes.

But Joshua was not having that excuse.

“Liar. I know you could never forget anything about me. Tell me, Jeonghannie, tell me what you wrote.”

“Shuji, you're acting like a child.”

“Then just tell me how you planned our wedding to be like. I will stop pestering you then.”

Jeonghan sighed exasperatedly.

Joshua smiled, knowing this was a sign that Jeonghan was about to give in to his demands.

Jeonghan massaged his forehead. Joshua had been after this matter since the morning and it was giving him a headache at this point.

“Fine. I thought of a wedding by the beach, with your favourite flowers decorating the entire venue. Because it would have made you happy. And you look the prettiest when you're happy. I wanted to claim you as mine, as my husband in front of the vast ocean and the sky. Happy now?” Jeonghan confessed, averting his eyes and ignoring Joshua's wide smile.

Joshua clasped his hands together, sitting up.

“Great! We're gonna make that happen soon!”

Jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean?” he asked him.

Joshua grabbed his shoulder and smiled at him, his bunny teeth peeking out.

“It means that we're gonna get married for the second time. And this time it would be by the beach, with my favorite flowers decorating the entire place. I will look the prettiest for you and then you would claim me as yours in front of the vast ocean and the sky. Doesn't it sound wonderful to you?”

Jeonghan froze on his spot, Joshua's beautiful bright smile too much for his heart. 

Not giving Jeonghan any chance to say anything, Joshua jumped into his arms on the couch and Jeonghan caught him out of instinct, wrapping his hands around the younger's waist. 

Joshua was always so spontaneous and sprightly. But he made Jeonghan feel seen and heard. He made Jeonghan realize that his wishes and desires had value too.

Like this moment of Joshua trying to fulfill his wish of having their dream wedding by the beach.

They made out lazily on top of the couch, with Joshua sitting on top of Jeonghan's lap and moving his lips passionately against the older one's. Joshua ran his hands through Jeonghan's hair, pulling him closer, their tongues mingling and breath quickening.

Joshua parted their lips briefly to speak.

“I love you. More than I did yesterday. More than I did this morning. And I know that I will love you even more tomorrow,” Joshua confessed in between taking deep breaths, his chest heaved up and down, “I can feel my love growing for you every day as I get to know you more. I love you so much that I will do anything for you. I hope you always know that, Hannie,” Joshua whispered to Jeonghan, their lips brushing softly as Jeonghan stared into his sincere eyes.

Jeonghan swallowed, his eyes swirling with so many unsaid emotions after hearing Joshua's innocent confession. Without waiting for anything, he engulfed those plump sweet lips in his again, replying to that beautiful confession with his actions rather than words.

Jeonghan didn't need to say “I love you” back to him in order to prove anything because Joshua already knew how much the older one loved him. It was visible in the way he felt Jeonghan's tears on his own lips as they rolled down the older's cheek after hearing Joshua's heartfelt confession. It was visible in the way he left a tender kiss on Joshua's forehead afterwards. 

That was how they ended up planning their own wedding. 

By the beach.

Just like how Jeonghan had dreamed of once.

Joshua looked absolutely gorgeous, like he came straight out of a fairytale. Jeonghan couldn't believe someone as beautiful as Joshua existed and that same Joshua was his. Jeonghan couldn't believe someone like Joshua was truly in love with him. 

He felt so overwhelmed with emotion watching Joshua walk down the aisle along with his father.

When it was time for their wedding vows, they repeated the same vows again, but this time with more sincerity than they did before, with an open heart which wasn't heavy with guilt or responsibility. This time they were free to confess their love and devotion for each other in front of the whole world.

And when the sun was just about to set down, Jeonghan kissed Joshua with the ocean and the sky as the witnesses of their beautiful love, of their commitment to each other. Everything about that moment was perfect.

Jeonghan couldn't help shedding another tear as he kissed Joshua harder and more passionately, his hands wrapping themselves tightly around the younger's thin waist.

Jeonghan would treasure that surreal moment forever.

By the time they reached their bedroom after their wedding, half of their clothes were already off their bodies. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves. 

Jeonghan ran his hands all over Joshua's body, hovering over him on the bed, the younger's face clouded with lust and affection for him. He looked breathtaking like that, looking up at Jeonghan with tear filled eyes.

Joshua was always beautiful. 

But he was the most dazzling when he was naked underneath Jeonghan like this, looking at him with doe eyes filled with want and tears.

Joshua wanted him so badly, he was crying to have Jeonghan inside him as soon as possible.

And who was Jeonghan to ever deny his beloved anything?

Jeonghan kissed Joshua, hard and fast, mouth running wildly against Joshua's lips. His lips didn't stay still in one place. They travelled to all the exposed parts of the younger's skin. 

He pulled Joshua closer by the waist, flushing their naked bodies together. And by the time he entered Joshua, the younger one was already sobbing in pleasure. 

Jeonghan didn't stop, he only pulled Joshua closer and thrusted harder, reaching the deepest part of the younger's body. He pressed their bodies together and Joshua reciprocated by wrapping his legs around Jeonghan's waist, to feel the other's body as closely as it was physically possible, letting out their rawest emotions.

Jeonghan made love to Joshua for the whole night, enjoying their wedding night to the fullest. 

Jeonghan did not just make Joshua fall apart for him. He worshiped the younger's body. He kissed every part of Joshua's body, left soothing kisses on every mark he created, the kisses reverent and sweet.

And Joshua let him.

Because there was no one in this world who he loved as much as he did Jeonghan. He felt the happiest when he was in Jeonghan's arms.

When they were finally done, exhausted and completely spent by all the lovemaking, Jeonghan pulled Joshua's naked body closer to his, cuddling up to his husband, his chin tucked comfortably on top of Joshua's head.

The younger one was already drifting off to sleep.

Jeonghan would never get tired of saying this but Joshua was everything he ever wanted and now that he finally got Joshua to be his—to be his husband—Jeonghan didn't think he needed anything else. 

He remembered once saying this to Wonwoo when they were fighting for Joshua's heart.

“My destiny had let me meet Joshua when I needed someone the most in my life. And I trust that same destiny to make Joshua mine again when the right time comes.”

And Joshua really did become his when Jeonghan never saw it coming because destiny saw it as the right moment.

Jeonghan didn't know what he ever did to deserve Joshua. But he just knew he'd treasure the younger one until his last breath. He would love, protect and cherish his husband forever, till death do them apart.

Because Joshua was the one and only purpose of his life. His saviour. His reason to live. Someone who completed Jeonghan. Someone Jeonghan wouldn't be able to live without.

Jeonghan left a small kiss on the crown of Joshua's head, whispering softly.

“Thank you for loving me when I didn't even love myself, Joshuji. You're the best thing that happened to me.”

With that, Jeonghan fell asleep with his love tucked comfortably in his arms, knowing Joshua would still be here in his arms when they would wake up in the morning.

Joshua was not going anywhere this time. Because he loved Jeonghan. And it would last forever.