Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Time: 10:30 PM 

Percy Jackson has created a group chat: 

Percy Jackson has added Annabeth Chase, Grover Underwood, Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, + 10 more

Percy Jackson has renamed the group chat to: strange people, but ok 

Annabeth Chase: Percy. . . what the fuck is this? 

Percy Jackson: I was bored – so this became a thing 

Percy Jackson has renamed themselves: Seaweed Brain 

Annabeth Chase has renamed herself: Wise Girl 

Wise Girl: That’s better

Wise Girl: But who else is in this group chat? Anyone I should know? 

Nico di Angelo: Percy. Why am I here? 

Seaweed Brain: I was bored. 

Seaweed Brain: Welcome to the chaos 

Nico di Angelo: I may or may not be on the verge of killing you –

Seaweed Brain has renamed “Nico di Angelo” to: Ghost King

Ghost King: Alright 

Ghost King: You’ve made your choice 

Ghost King: You’re going to die today, Jackson 

Will Solace: I was busy patching someone up from injuries 

Will Solace: And my phone started to buzz wildly 

Ghost King: Perfect 

Ghost King: Since you’re here – you’ll suffer with me

Ghost King has renamed “Will Solace” to: glowstick

glowstick: Nico. Whyyyyyyyyyy 

Ghost King: because :) 

Seaweed Brain: nico is smiling? :0 

Ghost King: You’re dead 

Rowan Adoray Glimrose is online

Rowan Adoray Glimrose: Why did I suddenly have a chat with 24 unread messages? 

glowstick: blame percy 

Rowan Adoray Glimrose: I will 

Seaweed Brain has renamed “Rowan Adoray Glimrose” to: “Adoray? More like Nightmaray”. 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: So you’ve chosen a path. . . 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: You’ve chosen death 

Seaweed Brain: Shit – I forgot you were a Son of Hecate 

Seaweed Brain: pls don’t murder me 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Too bad. I’m already planning 

Piper McClean is online

Jason Grace is online

Leo Valdez is online

Grover Underwood is online

Thalia Grace is online 

Clarisse is offline

Arlan Indigo Skywoods is online

Rachel Elizabeth Dare is online

Renya is online

Frank Zhang is online

Hazel Levesque is online

Luke Castellan is online

Ethan Nakamura is online

Piper McClean: Percy – what have you done to make Rowan kill you? 

Seaweed Brain: uhhhhh. . . nothgin? 

Wise Girl: nothing* 

Seaweed Brain: Thx 

Jason Grace: But seriously, Percy – you’re ignoring the question: 

Arlan Indigo Skywoods: What did you do to make Rowan want to murder you? 

Seaweed Brain: uhhhhhhhh. . . 

Seaweed Brain: By doing this? 

Seaweed Brain has renamed “Arlan Indigo Skywoods” to “Indigo’s Dreamcatcher.” 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: I fucking hate you 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Rowan? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Yes, babe?

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Can I join you for your murder plan? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: The more the merrier! 

Jason Grace has renamed himself to “The Amazing Grace” 

The Amazing Grace: You have the most terrifying duo after you now. How’d you feel? 

Seaweed Brain: accomplished? 

Wise Girl: I didn’t know you could spell big words, seaweed brain 

Seaweed Brain: Not you, too! T-T 

Seaweed Brain: Gods have mercy! 

Luke Castellan: Should I have a say in this?

Ethan Nakamura: No. We all know what you mean 

Luke Castellan: I’ll take your word 

Thalia Grace: Jackson. . . I’ve got to warn you that Rowan and Arlan are on their way to murder you

Seaweed Brain: WHAT - NOW?!

Thalia Grace: I’m just kidding :P 

Seaweed Brain: One more to add to the “I will murder Percy jar”

Seaweed Brain renamed “Thalia Grace” to: “The Tree Bitch” 

Seaweed Brain: :D 

The Tree Bitch: So you have chosen death. . . 

@Adoray? More like Nightmaray, @Indigo’s Dreamcatcher, Rowan, Arlan, when are we leaving? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Soon :) 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Indeed

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: RIP Percy Jackson 

Seaweed Brain: Nooooooo 

Chapter Text

glowstick: Has anyone forgotten what month it is? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: HELL NO 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: IT’S THE MONTH TO BE GAY 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: OR BE EVEN MORE GAY

Ghost King: I for one, agree 

Seaweed Brain: You gotta love Arlan’s attitude, man 

Seaweed Brain: BE OPENLY GAY @everyone 

Beauty Queen: HELL YEAH 

Beauty Queen: LESBIANS RISE

The Tree Bitch: THE HUNTERS ARE COMING FOR A LEGIT LESBIAN PARADE 

glowstick: FUCK YEAH 

Wise Girl: Who knew Percy could become gay

Bleat: Isn’t he bi? 

Wise Girl: Nearly the same thing 

Wise Girl: But gayer 

Seaweed Brain: Trust Annie to come up with the best solutions 

The Tree Bitch: Fuck yeah

glowstick: Bro, where’s my dad? 

glowstick: He should be here – afterall, he’s gay as hell 

Seaweed Brain: Uhhh. . . 

Seaweed Brain: I don’t know what happened to him – trust 

glowstick: strange as fuck

The Tree Bitch: HUNTERS ARE HERE 

[sent 1 image attachment – lesbianparade.png] 

Beauty Queen: DAMN 

Beauty Queen: Can I join? 

The Tree Bitch: FUCK YEAH

glowstick: why is dad late - 

glowstick: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS

[sent 1 image attachment - whothefuckisthis?!.png]

The Tree Bitch: He says he’s Lester

The Tree Bitch: I don’t know who

Wise Girl: From the looks of it, he looks like a child of Apollo 

glowstick: Since when did dad get another boyfriend or girlfriend wtf 

Wise Girl: Husband or wife? Idk - he’s ur dad

glowstick: we’ll figure it out later 

Chapter Text

Wise Girl: Who

Seaweed Brain: Who? 

Wise Girl: Who

Beauty Queen: Is she okay?

Wise Girl: Who

Beauty Queen: Uh

Beauty Queen: @glowstick, please help her

glowstick: Who

Beauty Queen: Please don’t tell me you’ve got it too

glowstick: Who :) 

Beauty Queen: @everyone, someone help them – please

The Tree Bitch: Who

The Amazing Grace: Who

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Who

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Who 

Leo Valdez: Who

Ghost King: Who 

glowstick: Who 

Luke Castellan: wtf 

Ethan Nakamura: Who 

Hazel Levesque: Who

Frank Zhang: Who

ReYaNa: Who

Grover Underwood: Who 

Beauty Queen: DAMN IT

Beauty Queen replied to Luke Castellan: PLEASE SAY YOU’RE THE NORMAL ONE

Luke Castellan: Who 

Beauty Queen: I give up 

Beauty Queen has left the group chat

Seaweed Brain: Nuh uh

Seaweed Brain has added Beauty Queen to the group chat

Seaweed Brain: Who

Beauty Queen: FUCK

Chapter Text

Time: 4:54 PM

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: This chat’s a bit boring 

ReYaNa has changed her name to: “RARA” 

RARA: Did you finish killing Percy? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Thalia wanted to get the first kill. And she didn’t. 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Because neither of us killed Percy. 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: That’s also the fact that we’re in another country. Taking SCHOOL. 

The Tree Bitch: And I didn’t have their murder plan so - we let Percy off free for now

RARA: Thank the gods? 

Frank Zhang: You just love it when Renya adds a question mark to “gods.”

Frank Zhang: Also, this username is boring

Frank Zhang has renamed himself to: “GiveFranks” 

GiveFranks: Much better 

Hazel Levesque: I’m also changing mine :D

Hazel Levesque has renamed herself to “chocolate” 

chocolate: :D 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: That’s not what I mean by “This chat’s boring,” but okay! 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I was gonna add a few more people.

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Is that fine, @Seaweed Brain ? 

Seaweed Brain: Thought you’d never ask! 

Ghost King: Oh no

glowstick: More people for Nico to socialize with :D 

Ghost King: I socialize  

glowstick: Not enough :( 

Ghost King: You win

glowstick: :) 

chocolate: cute <3 

Piper McClean has changed her name to "Beauty Queen.”

Beauty Queen: Based 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray has added: theboywholived, books4life, foodlover, Spark Bug, Left Twix, Right Twix, oldestchild, redbell, spinny, chaser_7, booknerdweasley, quidditch4life, dragonlover, Loonie, Dray, Zucchini, Panson, Deadric, and nevillelovesplants. 

Grover Underwood has changed his name to “Bleat.”

Bleat: DAMN 

Bleat: Rowan knows people! 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Of course I do! 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: They’re all friends :D 

books4life: What am I doing here

Dray: Is this more nonsense? 

Dray: I will get you Glimrose 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: You wouldn’t 

GiveFranks: Who are these ppl? 

Ghost King: They aren’t dead, that’s for sure 

theboywholived: What makes you think we are dead? 

Ghost King: Appearing out of nowhere - and also Rowan knows you 

theboywholived: good enough reason *shrug* 

Wise Girl: I’m going to add a few more

Wise Girl has added: MPace, Stoll 1, Stoll 2, and Juniperbush 

Seaweed Brain: More chaos

Seaweed Brain: I like chaos 

Stoll 1: Oooooo 

Stoll 1: More people to prank - only though they might be in another country 😔

Stoll 2: He’s speaking fax 

Left Twix: You have twin??? 

Stoll 2: He’s my older brother.

Stoll 2: Travis Stoll 

Stoll 1: He’s Connor Stoll 

Left Twix: :0000 

Left Twix: @Right Twix , George, y’know what I’m thinking? 

Right Twix: Absolutely 

Spark Bug: Rowannnnnnnnnnn

Spark Bug: What have you done

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Not my fault 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: They found each other

The Amazing Grace: Who’s Spark Bug? 

The Amazing Grace: That’s a cool nickname 

The Amazing Grace: Demigod of Zeus or Jupiter? Or. . . just a regular mortal? 

Spark Bug: The fuck 

Spark Bug: What’s a demigod? 

Spark Bug: Also no - none of that 

booknerdweasley: Demigods are half-mortal and half-god, Ginny

booknerdweasley: There are  a lot of demigods in Greek and Roman mythology. 

Spark Bug: Thanks, I guess. . . PERCY. 

Seaweed Brain: There’s two. . . Percy’s? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: . . . 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: . . . 

Spark Bug: . . .

Wise Girl: . . .

Bleat: . . .

The Tree Bitch: . . . 

The Amazing Grace: . . . 

chocolate: . . .

GiveFranks: . . . 

RARA: . . . 

Stoll 1: . . .

Stoll 2: . . .

MPace: . . .

Left Twix: . . . 

Right Twix: . . .

books4life: . . . 

theboywholived: . . .

Ghost King: . . .

glowstick: . . . 

Beauty Queen: . . . 

Fav <3 Oracle: . . . 

Hulk: . . .

Firebug: . . . 

booknerdweasley: . . . 

Juniperbush: . . . 

golden: . . .

Revenge: . . .

quidditch4life: . . .

redbell: . . .

spinny: . . .

chaser_7: . . . 

Dray: . . .

Zucchini: . . .

foodlover: . . .

Panson: . . . 

dragonlover: . . . 

Loonie: . . .

nevillelovesplants: . . .

Deadric: . . .

Deadric: What the actual fuck? 

Wise Girl: @Seaweed Brain , please tell me you’re joking 

Seaweed Brain: No? 

Seaweed Brain: I didn’t know another Percy other than me

Spark Bug: Well, now you have

Spark Bug: Meet the third Weasley child

foodlover: Who’s a nerd 

dragonlover: Who doesn’t like sports 

Left Twix: Who follows the rules

Right Twix: And is a teacher’s pet when he was in school

booknerdweasley: . . . 

booknerdweasley: Fuck all of y’all 

dragonlover: And his name is Percy Weasley :) 

booknerdweasley: CHARLIE WEASLEY. 

Wise Girl: Wait 

Wise Girl: Please tell me you’re also joking

booknerdweasley: ? 

quidditch4life: You’ve made him speechless 

quidditch4life: for once 

booknerdweasley: You’re not coming over to the Burrow this summer 

quidditch4life: FUCK 

Bleat: The Burrow? 

Bleat: What’s that

Beauty Queen: HOLD IT

Beauty Queen: ARE YOU LOT WIZARDS 

Wise Girl: How did Piper figure it out before me? 

Beauty Queen: Bc I’m the “beauty queen” 

Seaweed Brain: based

Fav <3 Oracle: Defo based 

theboywholived: Have any of you figured it out yet? 

theboywholived: besides, uh, Piper? 

Wise Girl: JUST FIGURED IT OUT

Wise Girl: NO WONDER YOUR USER IS “theboywholived” 

Wise Girl: YOU’RE HARRY POTTER 

theboywholived: that’s me :D 

theboywholived: wait – that’s not me 

theboywholived: shit 

books4life: You just proved your point, Harry

books4life: I’m Hermione Granger, one of Harry’s best friends

books4life: And their smart person in order not to fail or die

theboywholived: rude 

Seaweed Brain: So in short, we have another Annabeth? 

Wise Girl: . . . 

Wise Girl: That’s just rude, Percy 

books4life: I’d prefer our Percy, thank you very much 

books4life: I’ve got enough idiots to take care of 

theboywholived: RUDE

foodlover: HEY

books4life: See? 

books4life: They admit it :D 

theboywholived: And I thought we were friends :( 

Seaweed Brain replied to books4life: I don’t blame you - was being rude - sorry :( 

books4life: You’re fine

books4life: For now :) 

theboywholived: *sigh* – I knew it was too good to be true 

Ghost King: Did you just. . . 

Ghost King: . . . type in “sigh” in text? 

theboywholived: What – is there an unwritten rule? 

Ghost King: No? 

Seaweed Brain: I like this kid already :) 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Ye and he’s 3 years younger than u 

Seaweed Brain: . . .

Seaweed Brain: WHY TF ARE THERE KIDS IN HERE

books4life: Bitch, we’re teens 

Seaweed Brain: 3 years younger! 

Wise Girl: You’re on your own for that one, Seaweed Brain 

dragonlover: You can relax

dragonlover: We’ve got some adults in here - such as me and uh, ginger Percy :) 

booknerdweasley: Charlie. . . 

dragonlover: What - how are they supposed to tell the difference between their Percy and our Percy? 

booknerdweasley: Our usernames and how we type?? 

dragonlover: You win this time 

Chapter Text

Seaweed Brain has added Apollo 

Beauty Queen: wtf, Percy, why? 

Seaweed Brain: Cause 

glowstick: Percy - why tf do you have my dad’s phone number

glowstick: ALSO - DAD

glowstick: WHEN DID YOU HAVE A MORTAL PHONE???? 

Apollo: When I became a mortal. . . 

glowstick: What. . . ?

Apollo: Still am 

Apollo: It sucks ass

glowstick: my dad’s a fucking mortal? 

glowstick: No wonder Rachel didn’t randomly spill a prophecy

glowstick: THAT ALSO EXPLAINS WHY THERE IS ANOTHER CHILD OF APOLLO

Fav <3 Oracle: Uh, hello?? 

Fav <3 Oracle: I’m right here. Also, I enjoyed not spilling any more creepy prophecies for once 

Apollo: You’re welcome 

Apollo replied to glowstick: Indeed you’re right, Solace 

The Amazing Grace: Hold up 

The Amazing Grace: Your name isn’t Apollo in mortal form, is it not? 

Apollo: No? 

The Amazing Grace: Perfect 

The Amazing Grace: Wait - I remember your mortal name 

The Amazing Grace was renamed “Apollo” to Lester Papadopoulos 

Lester Papadopoulos: Jason wtf - why 

Lester Papadopoulos: I thought we were buddies :( 

The Amazing Grace: Bc

The Amazing Grace: Ofc 

Lester Papadopoulos: Fuck u 

glowstick: Percy - you added my dad, and things escalated quickly 

Seaweed Brain: you’re welcome :) 

Wise Girl: He’s just bored 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Typical Percy 

Seaweed Brain: Excuse me? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: You’re excused 

Lester Papadopoulos: I knew I could count on you 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I blame Percy for changing my name 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: To this 

Lester Papadopoulos: And I’m blaming Jason 

The Amazing Grace: You’re welcome, bro

Lester Papadopoulos: Curse you 

Chapter Text

Leo Valdez has renamed himself to “Firebug” 

Firebug: I can’t keep track of which Percy is which 

Seaweed Brain: There’s a difference???

Wise Girl: I think he’s gone nuts 

Firebug: thx for the reminder 

Firebug: but seriously - which Percy is which? 

booknerdweasley: Elaborate, please 

Firebug: like. . . which Percy is our Percy and which Percy is their Percy? 

Firebug: Does that make sense - sorta? 

Seaweed Brain: I AM UR PERCY 

Firebug: Which? 

Seaweed Brain: ALRIGHT - ANNABETH’S RIGHT

Seaweed Brain: HE’S GONE NUTS! HE CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE 

Wise Girl: Hmmm. . . 

Wise Girl: I might have an idea ;) 

Seaweed Brain: Please fix him! @glowstick 

glowstick: He should be fine 

glowstick: He’s not my problem rn 

Seaweed Brain: ARGGGHHHHHHHH

Wise Girl: PERSEUS JACKSON 

Seaweed Brain: WHAT!? 

booknerdweasley: Oh? 

booknerdweasley: He’s a “Perseus”? 

Wise Girl: Yup! 

Right Twix: Our Percy is a “Percival.” 

booknerdweasley: GEORGE WEASLEY 

Right Twix: :) 

booknerdweasley: . . . I’m going to tell Mum that we’ve met with a bunch of strangers 

Right Twix: NOOOOOO

Left Twix: Don’t ruin the fun! 

Spark Bug: PLSSSSSSS DON’T

dragonlover: DON’T TELL MUM OR I’M SENDING DRAGONS OVER

quidditch4life: That’s a. . . pretty serious threat you just made

Firebug: I just wanted to get into everyone’s skin :) 

Seaweed Brain: LEOOOOOO >:( 

Firebug: :) 

Firebug: Wait

Firebug replied to dragonlover: Sending dragons?? Isn’t that. . . not safe? 

Wise Girl: For once I agree

Seaweed Brain: They’re the death of us 

dragonlover: You didn’t see or hear anything! 

dragonlover: OH - GTG - BYE

dragonlover is offline 

booknerdweasley: . . . 

booknerdweasley: Wait 

booknerdweasley: WHY ARE YOU KIDS ON YOUR PHONES?! 

Seaweed Brain: Oop

Firebug: Busted 

Spark Bug: uhhhhh. . . 

Right Twix: kidney  

booknerdweasley: GEORGE 

Chapter Text

dragonlover: I may or may not have accidentally gotten burned by a dragon

Firebug: Burned by a dragon? :0 

dragonlover: Shit 

dragonlover: Wrong gc, and wrong chat

booknerdweasley: CHARLIE YOU GOT WHAT

Left Twix: Getting burned by dragons, are we now, Charlie?

Right Twix: Mum will be furious 

Seaweed Brain: Dragons? 

Wise Girl: Dragons? 

dragonlover: I sent it to the wrong gc! 

dragonlover: I meant to text it to my friend who’s a dragon keeper 

Wise Girl: HOLD YOUR HORSES 

Wise Girl: You guys have dragons??!?

dragonlover: don’t you? 

Wise Girl: We have the Ladon. . . ? 

Wise Girl: Pretty dangerous 

dragonlover: Dangerous is my middle name :D 

booknerdweasley: . . . 

booknerdweasley: Hate to break it to you, but you don’t have a middle name

dragonlover: FUCK 

Right Twix: Percy = 2

Left Twix: Charlie = 0 

booknerdweasley: I’m adding a responsible adult in this group chat

booknerdweasley: Clearly somebody needs it 

Beauty Queen: I just got on and wtf someone got burned by a dragon? 

dragonlover: That’d be me! :) 

golden: I’ve fought one before 

golden: it gave me a scar on my face

dragonlover: NICE 

Beauty Queen: Sounds hurtful 

golden: it is 

booknerdweasley has added Molly Weasley and Handsome to strange people but ok

Left Twix: PERCY 

Right Twix: WHY

Spark Bug: You gotta just ruin the fun 

Spark Bug: Also, hi Bill 

Handsome: Hi, Ginny

Handsome: I heard that someone got burned by a dragon 

Handsome: And I know that’ll be my brother 

dragonlover: Did not! 

Molly Weasley: CHARLIE WEASLEY. 

foodlover: oop 

foodlover: Here comes mum 

books4life: Hush, Ron

books4life: This is entertaining for once

The Amazing Grace: I’m grabbing popcorn 

The Tree Bitch: Can I have some? 

The Amazing Grace: Sure Thals 

The Tree Bitch: :D 

Firebug: Lemme have some too! 

The Amazing Grace: K 

MPace: Isn’t it not wise to look into family drama? 

Wise Girl: We all know

Wise Girl: But these are strangers to us – so technically a new family drama we can share

Wise Girl: Also, hi, Malcolm! :DDDD 

Wise Girl: Haven’t heard from you in a while

MPace: I was just lurking around the dark

MPace: And trying to make sense of this group chat

Wise Girl: You don’t need to

MPace: Ok

Seaweed Brain: My mom doesn’t cause drama, but I’d like to see this 

Wise Girl: Of course you do

Molly Weasley: HOW COULD YOU BE SO CARELESS?

foodlover: And there she goes 

Molly Weasley: GETTING HURT BY A DRAGON? AGAIN? 

Molly Weasley: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH 

Firebug: Third time? DAMN 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: What the fuck is going on

Handsome: Oh hey Rowan

Handsome: Mum’s busy yelling at Charlie through text

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Sounds about right 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Lemme guess: he burned himself? 

Handsome: Mhm

Clarisse is online

Clarisse: I heard someone got burned by a dragon

Clarisse: Which is fucking cool 

dragonlover: This is worse than getting scolded through a fucking howler

Molly Weasley: FOUL LANGUAGE?? 

dragonlover: You’ve said it before! 

Molly Weasley: . . .

Molly Weasley: I’ll deal with you later over the Summer 

Molly Weasley had left the chat 

booknerdweasley: There goes our responsible adult 

Wise Girl: Percy, that’s your mother

booknerdweasley: I can see your brain ticking away

Wise Girl: Yeah, I don’t need to spill out

booknerdweasley: thank you

______________________________________________________

[PRIVATE CHAT WITH: Tonks]

dragonlover: I may or may not have been burned by a dragon

Tonks: Charlie

dragonlover: Yes? 

Tonks: Are we being serious? 

dragonlover: mhm 

Tonks: . . . 

Tonks: *sigh* I’ll be right there

dragonlover: see? Ur the best :) 

Tonks: can I murder you

dragonlover: no 

dragonlover: But can you heal me? 

Tonks: . . . fine

_________________________________________________

[Group Chat: strange people but ok] 

dragonlover: I’ll be healed

dragonlover: Do not worry 

booknerdweasley: I’m worried

dragonlover: I said not to worry

dragonlover: I’ve got Tonks to heal me

Seaweed Brain: Who? 

dragonlover: a friend

Seaweed Brain: Huh

Seaweed Brain: So why didn’t you ask @glowstick Will to heal you

glowstick: I don’t know him? 

dragonlover: ^ what he said 

glowstick: at this point, I’m going to be healing random people

Ghost King: Why did he get burned by a dragon

dragonlover: was trying to take care of its baby dragons :( 

dragonlover sent 1 image attachment 

Ghost King: So dragons are real

Ghost King: great

Ghost King: I see some shadows that I just pop in and say hi

glowstick: Nico no

Ghost King: Nico, yes

glowstick: Where are you, @dragonlover

dragonlover: Romania 

glowstick: DO NOT SHADOW TRAVEL THERE NICO

glowstick: I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE

Ghost King: I’ve never been to Romania tho. . . :( 

chocolate: You made Neeks sad

glowstick: still no shadow traveling

glowstick: he’ll pass out

Ghost King: :( 

glowstick: fine, I’ll give you cuddles

Ghost King: :) 

chocolate: happy nico 

booknerdweasley: I’d advise you not to follow my brother’s footsteps

dragonlover: Wha - Percy, why?!

booknerdweasley: Irresponsible and you still get burned >:( 

dragonlover: is this why Mum favors the middle child more

booknerdweasley: YOU DO NOT NEED TO SPILL THAT INFORMATION

dragonlover: Catch me if you can 

booknerdweasley: I’ll get you 

Chapter Text

Firebug: I’ve got a question @everyone 

Firebug: What is life

Ghost King: Death

glowstick: Delivering a baby at the age of 16

Beauty Queen: Love 

Wise Girl: architecture books

Seaweed Brain: Not me?!

Wise Girl: And you

Seaweed Brain: :) 

Seaweed Brain replied to Firebug: My Wise Girl 

The Tree Bitch: The Hunters

MPace: Brain

Beauty Queen: Heart control 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: caffeinate! 

Ghost King: I see where this is going

Ghost King: Melatonin 

glowstick: nico – no 

Ghost King: Nico yes :) 

Seaweed Brain: Love

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Brain

Stoll 1: Heart control 

Stoll 2: CAFFEINATE! 

booknerdweasley: You get me going 

Spark Bug: YOU KNOW THIS?!?!?!? 

booknerdweasley: Do I look guilty? 

Spark Bug: . . .

Handsome: He has a point. . . but so does Ginny

Handsome: You can’t tell whether someone is guilty or not through a Muggle phone

Firebug: What the fuck is a muggle 

Handsome: That’s what we call Mortals 

books4life: Muggles are people without magic 

books4life: But I have magic and am a muggle sooooo 

oldestchild: Professional muggle right here

Left Twix: LEE 

glowstick: LEE? 

glowstick: MY BROTHER’S ALIVE??? 

Left Twix: What

Ghost King: Lee Fletcher is still dead 

glowstick: awh. I miss him. :’( 

Ghost King: I’ll give you cuddles

oldestchild: I’m not Lee Fletcher 

oldestchild: I’m Lee Jordan 

Left Twix: And he’s my boyfriend <3 

oldestchild: love you too, Fred <3 

glowstick: I want my older siblings back 😭

Ghost King: They’ll find you 

glowstick: Let me break it down 

Firebug: What is life

Beauty Queen: Is he okay? 

theboywholived: probably not 

foodlover: . . . 

books4life: Ron’s infected 

theboywholived: shit 

foodlover: What is life

books4life: Called it

Chapter Text

Firebug: @everyone, the author has given up on naming the chapters

Beauty Queen: Are you breaking the fourth wall? 

Seaweed Brain: I’m sure there’s no such thing as an author 

Firebug: How are we here then

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Leo asking a sensible question for once? 

Wise Girl: Inconceivable 

Firebug: No serious 

Firebug: Why did she give up 

Firebug: On chapter titles

Ghost King: Who gave Leo the power of breaking the fourth wall? 

Firebug: The creator of this fic 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: The creator? 

Firebug: mhm

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: My creator. . . 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Are you having a breakdown?

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: My mother. . . 

Beauty Queen: Isn’t his mother Hecate? 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Let him have his Scaramouche moment, please

Beauty Queen: So, in short, he’s a little dramatic as well

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: He was playing Genshin Impact earlier 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: And he just completed the Inversion of Genesis 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: And he’s just quoting Scara’s cutscenes from his character demo

Beauty Queen: So in other words? 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Just let him be

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Can we now get back to the question of how Leo is breaking the fourth wall? 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: And he’s back :) 

Firebug replied to Adoray? More like Nightmaray: It’s a powerrrrr 

Firebug: :) 

Firebug: Also, pls change the title – we can name it “Leo breaks the fourth wall” 

Firebug: WDYM “NO”? 

Wise Girl: Is he. . . talking to the voices? 

Seaweed Brain: Voices? 

Firebug: What voices? She’s right there! 

The Amazing Grace: Leo, put your phone down

The Amazing Grace: You had enough for the day 

Firebug: HEY 

Chapter Text

[Time: 3:40 PM]

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’m dyinggggg 

books4life: Are you okay? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Nooooooooo :( 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: He’s dying, as in, sick 

glowstick: What happened? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I ate a chocolate-covered cupcake 

glowstick: anddddd? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I threw up 

glowstick: Note to self: Do not let Rowan eat chocolate-covered cupcakes 

Beauty Queen: But chocolate-covered cupcakes are good! How’d you throw up? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Too sugary 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Too sweet

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Too sweet

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Why did it send twice – wtf 

Beauty Queen: Do you not have a sweet tooth? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I don’t have a sweet tooth 

glowstick: You’ve gotten food poisoning 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Not again :( 

Beauty Queen: YOU’RE TELLING ME 

Seaweed Brain: THAT YOU’VE GOTTEN FOOD POISONING FROM A CHOCOLATE-COVERED CUPCAKE?

Beauty Queen: THE OUTRAGE 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I don’t likey 

[Time: 5:40 PM] 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Don’t worry @everyone , he’s perfectly fine

glowstick: HOW IS HE FINE ALREADY?

glowstick: IT’S BEEN 2 HOURS AT LEAST

Firebug: For once, I agree 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: He becomes super whiny when he’s sick 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Arlan. We do not need that information to be shared with the world. 

Fav <3 Oracle: I must know. 

Fav <3 Oracle: I need it for the Rowan and Arlan cute folder

Seaweed Brain: You have a what folder?

Wise Girl: Percy is using Italics 

Wise Girl: Great job

Seaweed Brain: :D 

Beauty Queen: If you have a folder for cute things, Arlan and Rowan do. . . 

Ghost King: oh no

Ghost King: I see where this is going

Beauty Queen: Do you perhaps have a folder of Nico and Will being cute?? 

Fav <3 Oracle: YES I DO

Ghost King: FUCK 

Fav <3 Oracle: PLEASE CONTINUE THO @Indigo’s Dreamcatcher

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: My pleasure

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Nooooo 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Well, this is one of his secret powers: once he gets sick, all he needs is medicine and a 2-hour power nap 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: :D 

Seaweed Brain: Gah 

Wise Girl: Sickness cured 

Fav <3 Oracle: I got everything now in the folder >:3 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: nooooooo 

Chapter Text

Firebug: Yup, she’s given up on the chapter titles

The Amazing Grace: I’m just impressed that you have the power to break the fourth wall 

The Amazing Grace: I wanna know what’s out there

Beauty Queen: Trust me, sometimes you don’t want to

The Amazing Grace: ok

Firebug: Author has said she’s given me the power to break the fourth wall bc she thinks I deserve better :D 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: A better relationship than with Calypso, yes 

Firebug: Rude 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’m speaking facts

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: That goddess has brought nothing but fear ever since I listened to Love in Paradise 

glowstick: Epic the Musical mentioned?? 

Firebug: The what musical?

glowstick: EPIC the Musical! 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: EPIC the Musical. 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’m what you want here

glowstick: I’m what you need here 

Ghost King: Oh, gods 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Just you and me, my love in paradise 

glowstick: Now ‘til the end of time

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: From here on out, you’re mine

glowstick: All mineeeeeee

Ghost King: Leo 

Ghost King: You have unlocked Will’s singing power

Firebug: Have I? 

Ghost King: Yes

Firebug: WOO

Firebug has replied to Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’m in a better relationship now ;) 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: That’s all I need to know

glowstick: Who is he dating? 

Firebug: Jason 

Ghost King: . . . 

Ghost King: At least it’s better than dating Jackson

Seaweed Brain: Hey! 

Wise Girl: You’re an idiot sometimes, y’know that? 

Seaweed Brain: Not true! 

Wise Girl: Anyways. . . congrats, Leo! 

Seaweed Brain: Ye, congrats! :D 

Beauty Queen: I KNEW IT

Firebug: How exactly? 

The Amazing Grace: I was literally dating you before Leo

The Amazing Grace: So, how could you know? 

Beauty Queen: :) 

Beauty Queen: Not telling 

The Amazing Grace: aw man

Chapter Text

Seaweed Brain: Prepare for the nightmare of your lifetime 

Wise Girl: Oh no

Bleat: Please no 

Seaweed Brain had added Hermes, Artemis, Athena, Poseidon, Ares, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Demeter, Persephone, Hades, Hestia, Mr. D, Zeus, Hera, Nemesis, Hecate, Hypnos, Thanatos, Nike, Amphitrite, Ganymede, Morpheus, Iris, Eros, and Leto

Ghost King: You’re dead, Percy 

Lester Papadopoulos: Percy. . . WHY

Leto: Apollo?! 

Lester Papadopoulos: Hi, Mom

Leto: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

Lester Papadopoulos: Mortal

Leto: . . . 

Leto: ZEUS

Demeter: Family drama, as always

Hera: I just wondered why I was added in

Hera: I’m clearly the most hated here

Seaweed Brain: That you are

Seaweed Brain: But I added you, so you gods aren’t bored

Seaweed Brain: Mortal and demigod lives are interesting 

Lester Papadopoulos: Hate to break it to you, but he’s right

Hera: hm

Lester Papadopoulos: I just wondered where Percy got all of their phone numbers?? 

Seaweed Brain: Hermes gave them to me

Hermes: Indeed, I did! 

Lester Papadopoulos: ofc it was u, Hermes 

Hera: Also, are we ignoring the fact that Leto is yelling at Zeus? 

Hera: I’m quite entertained. 

Lester Papadopoulos: Mom’s yelling at Dad? 

Hera: Indeed 

The Amazing Grace: There’s something I haven’t witnessed 

The Tree Bitch: Must be a mouthful coming from that woman 

Hermes: ‘Pollo, ur missing this out, my man

Lester Papadopoulos: I think it’s best that I’m not there 

Athena: That’s true

Athena: Because he’s planning on throwing a lightning bolt just to rough things up a bit during your time as a mortal

Lester Papadopoulos: GODS DAMN IT. WHY? 

Hecate: I think you should be fine in my world 

Lester Papadopoulos: Your world? 

Hecate: The world of Witches and Wizards, of course! 

Hecate: In fact. . . some of them are here! 

Lester Papadopoulos: I’ve heard. . . 

Lester Papadopoulos: You mean these guys? @books4life, @theboywholived, @foodlover, @Left Twix, @Right Twix, @chaser_7, @spinny, @redbell, @quidditch4life, @booknerdweasley, @Adoray? More like Nightmaray, @Inidgo’s Dreamcatcher

Hecate: Yes

Hecate: Though there are more of them

Lester Papadopoulos: Too lazy to name all of them 

Hecate: Understandable 

Lester Papadopoulos: Also, I'm pretty sure no one wants me in your world 

books4life: I probably wanted to know more about the other gods

Lester Papadopoulos: Course you do

theboywholived: is that a good thing or a bad thing? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Depends on how you see it 

Morpheus: I just realized that I’ve been getting notifications from this group chat

Hecate: Morpheus! 

Morpheus: Who tf invited me

Morpheus: Also, hello, Lady Hecate 

Hypnos: Stop waking me up 

Hypnos: Lemme sleep 

Nemesis: Turn off notifications, dumbass

Hypnos: Be quiet, Nemesis

Zeus: Has anyone seen Ganymede? 

Hera: Oh fuck no, get me out of here

Ganymede has left the chat 

Hera: That was quick 

Hera: Also, Zeus

Hera: Leto isn’t done with you

Zeus: Are you serious? 

Leto: YOU TURN MY SON BACK INTO A GOD OR I WILL KILL YOU

Zeus: You can’t kill the King of the Gods, you know that, right?

Leto: I CAN TRY

Lester Papadopoulos: Mom. Please don’t. 

Leto: Fineeeeeeee

Zeus: Besides, Apollo has to pass a couple of trials in order to get his godhood back 

Leto: Fuck you, Zeus

Hera: Get him, Leto

Seaweed Brain: This is what I call drama

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Please, someone get a hold of Percy

Hecate: Son! :D 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Hi mum :)

Chapter Text

chaser_7: shit 

chaser_7: What am I supposed to say

books4life: What happened? 

chaser_7: uhh. . . 

spinny: Arlan broke his leg 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: HE WHAT?!

theboywholived: There goes our lives   

foodlover: I see the white light 

redbell: we’re going to the Underworld after this 

theboywholived: salute 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED IN THE GAME??? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: HE BROKE HIS LEG?

MPace: What game are you guys talking about?

Wise Girl: Is it soccer?

Hulk: Basketball?

GiveFranks: Volleyball? 

chaser_7: Think of all those sports. . . but combined

spinny: Like they’ve made a baby 

redbell: We’ve got goals from soccer

theboywholived: We’ve got the basketball hoops from basketball

foodlover: we throw a ball that’s the size of a volleyball

MPace: Still don’t get it

chaser_7: Combine all of that with a broom

quidditch4life: And you get Quidditch 

chaser_7: in short, it’s a Wizarding sport 

Seaweed Brain: Sounds cool

The Tree Bitch: I’d stay to the ground, thank you very much 

The Amazing Grace: I’d like to give it a go

The Tree Bitch: ofc u would 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’M NOT DONE HERE 

chaser_7: shit 

spinny: ur cooked 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: HOW TF DID ARLAN BREAK HIS LEG DURING THE GAME?

oldestchild: He was hit by a bludger 

oldestchild: And he fell off the broom

chaser_7: LEE YOU SNITCH 

oldestchild: :P 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I TOLD HIM NOT TO GO ON A BROOM 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: AND WHAT DID HE DO? 

chaser_7: got on a broom. . . 

theboywholived: We have reasons

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: WHAT ARE THE REASONS? 

chaser_7: You were out sick again – food poisoning before the game

Spark Bug: And I broke my arm during practice 

chaser_7: And we're short on chasers because Alicia also has a broken arm

spinny: :( 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Yeah, you’re dead. 

chaser_7: fuck 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I SWEAR TO MERLIN IF THAT HAPPENS TO HIM AGAIN I WILL THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF

Seaweed Brain: He swears to Merlin????? 

books4life: well. . . we don’t swear to the gods 

booknerdweasley: Lady Hecate is more than enough for all of us

Hecate: :D 

Morpheus: A favorite amongst the creators of the Wizarding World 

booknerdweasley: Most of our personal favorites 

Hecate: This is what I’m talking about >:3 

Morpheus: Calm down, Hecate 

Hecate: I am CALM. 

Morpheus: Alright, alright. 

Hecate: I’m sure you aren’t the calm one. . . right? ;) 

Morpheus: My son just broke his leg

Morpheus: How am I supposed to be calm? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: EXACTLY 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Oh, btw, he’s in the Hospital Wing

Morpheus: Thank the Gods 

Hecate: You’re thanking yourself

Morpheus: Don’t ruin the moment, please

books4life: Oh yea

books4life: I managed to record the Quidditch Match on my phone

Morpheus: Would you care to share it with us? 

books4life: ofc 

books4life added 1 video attachment 

theboywholived: Not his brightest moment. . .

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Or yours

books4life: damn 

Hecate: Welp. My son’s on a roll

Hecate: And I ain’t stopping him

Hecate: Good luck surviving his rampage 

chaser_7: shit

Seaweed Brain: It was the moment that she knew. . . 

oldestchild: she fucked up

chaser_7: HE’S LEGIT CHASING MEERHFUH 

Wise Girl: Why aren’t the staff stopping him? 

books4life: Because if they did, they’d face his wrath too 

Wise Girl: Gods. . .

Chapter Text

Lester Papadopoulos: Someone help

glowstick: Are you alright, Dad? Need medical attention? 

Lester Papadopoulos: I think I do after this one

Artemis: What have you done

Aphrodite: It can’t be that bad? 

Lester Papadopoulos: It is that bad - Meg

Wise Girl: Who’s Meg? 

Lester Papadopoulos: I took over his phone for a while – Meg

Lester Papadopoulos: He’s currently having a mental breakdown – Meg

Seaweed Brain: Do you want me to add you here? 

Lester Papadopoulos: Sure, why not – Meg 

Seaweed Brain has added Meg McCaffrey 

Meg McCaffrey: This username is stupid

Meg McCaffrey has changed her name to “Unhinged Tree Planter.” 

Unhinged Tree Planter: That’s better 

Artemis: So what’s wrong with my brother? 

glowstick: What’s wrong with Dad? 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Must be the Aphrodite Cabin’s fault

Aphrodite: What do my children have to do with Apollo? 

Unhinged Tree Planter: They were looking through fanfictions on a site called ao3 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Apollo and I happened to be near the group of Aphrodite's kids 

Aphrodite: Go on. . . 

Beauty Queen: Gosh darn it 

Beauty Queen: She’s interested

Unhinged Tree Planter: Good for you 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Anyways, the Aphrodite kids saw us, and showed Apollo some of the ships

Lester Papadopoulos: IT WAS HORRIBLE 

Lester Papadopoulos: LET ME TELL YOU – WHY WAS I PAIRED WITH PERCY JACKSON IN A SHIP?

Seaweed Brain: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK 

Wise Girl: SEAWEED BRAIN’S MINE!

Seaweed Brain: EXACTLY

Artemis: Oh my gods 

Artemis: You two have been shipped. Please tell me this isn’t a joke 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Unfortunately, not

Artemis: Fuck 

Artemis: I’ll just go and check what these stories are 

Lester Papadopoulos: Don’t be too invested, sis 

Artemis: I won’t

books4life: bro ppl write that? 

theboywholived: should I be concerned? 

Lester Papadopoulos: YOU SHOULD BE

Lester Papadopoulos: YOU’RE SHIPPED WITH SOMEONE NAMED SEVERUS SNAPE 

theboywholived: MY PROFESSOR WTF?!?! 

Unhinged Tree Planter: HE’S YOUR PROFESSOR!? 

theboywholived: OK – I’M GENUINELY CONCERNED

Wise Girl: WHY ARE YOU BEING SHIPPED WITH YOUR PROFESSOR?

Wise Girl: LEGIT HOW OLD IS HE

theboywholived: He’s in his 30s

Seaweed Brain: That’s not. . . that bad? 

Seaweed Brain: Compared to being shipped with a 4,612 God who’s been alive much longer 

Lester Papadopoulos: idk what to say

Seaweed Brain: don’t say anything

Lester Papadopoulos: 👍

Unhinged Tree Planter: Also, did you know that some of the biggest fanfiction stories on AO3 are with a ship with Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy? 

books4life: . . . 

books4life: @Dray are you getting this?

Dray: Most definitely – and also wtf

Dray: My father will hear about this

theboywholived: sure, sure 😒

books4life replied to Artemis: I mean, I’m fine with the shippings being either Pansy or Ron, but Draco of all people? I’m surprised they even exist. 

Dray: Didn’t the author of our universe just like. . . let’s put Ron and Hermione together? 

foodlover: most definitely

books4life: don’t tell me you can break the 4th wall, Draco

Dray: I can apparently :D 

books4life: :( 

foodlover: I can tell you from my perspective, it did not work out 

Unhinged Tree Planter: You two dated each other?

books4life: yup

foodlover: mhm

books4life: That was until Ron realized he was gay

Lester Papadopoulos: His gay awakening ✨

glowstick: happens to be my father’s doing 

glowstick: He’s always been bi 

books4life: amazing 

Artemis: I just looked at some of the Harry Potter fanfics

theboywholived: oh no

books4life: oh boy

foodlover: she’s mentioning us 

Artemis: And why did I find a fanfic with Harry Potter x every female that was in the movie 

theboywholived: I – WHAT

Dray: Damn Harry

Dray: Never knew you could pull that off

theboywholived: DRACO DON’T BELIEVE. Actually, it’s fanfic. Nvm chat. 

Artemis: Also, please tell me why I found a fic with Hermione Granger in a few relationships like u, Victor Krum, and Oliver Wood 

books4life: Oliver Wood’s not my type 

books4life: He’s Percy’s type

Wise Girl: Which Percy?

booknerdweasley: Me

books4life: mhm

Unhinged Tree Planter: Uhh, Artemis? 

Artemis: Yes?

Unhinged Tree Planter: Apollo is dying of cringe and laughter over here

Unhinged Tree Planter: Help him, pls

Artemis: . . . Nah

Artemis: let him suffer

Beauty Queen: Mom, pick me up, I’m scared

Aphrodite: No, no

Aphrodite: I’m way too invested 

Beauty Queen: MOMMMMMMM

Lester Papadopoulos: Someone, please, tell me where Apollo x Percy Jackson came from

Lester Papadopoulos: pls. 

Aphrodite: yeah, y’know what

Aphrodite: I’m picking you up, Piper 

Beauty Queen: THANK YOU

Hermes: HOLD UP

  Lester Papadopoulos: What Hermes

Hermes: Who had the right idea of shipping my son Luke Castellan with Percy Jackson? 

golden: dad wtf 

Hermes: You’re just in time to witness your tragic ending my son

golden: wha?

revenge: from the looks of it fanfiction writers have paired you up with Percy Jackson 

golden: WE’RE FUCKING 7 YEARS APART

Seaweed Brain: Y’know not all of the fics are terrible

Seaweed Brain: Also it’s safe to say that Luke was almost everybody’s crush when they first meet him

Seaweed Brain: So I’d think it’s safe to say. . . 

Seaweed Brain: Most of us had a crush on Luke? 

Hermes: My son is handsome 

golden: can I leave

golden: im getting uncomfortable

revenge: ur staying with me 

revenge: if i suffer. . . you suffer too

golden: fuck

Unhinged Tree Planter: Uhhhh. . . guys? 

Hermes: wha

Seaweed Brain: Was up

Wise Girl: It’s what’s up

Seaweed Brain: hush

theboywholived: what’s going on 

books4life: go on

Aphrodite: I’m listening 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Where is Lester

Artemis: DON’T TELL ME HE’S GONE

Unhinged Tree Planter: oh. Found him. 

Unhinged Tree Planter sent 1 image attachment 

Unhinged Tree Planter: He says he’s taking a break from the outdoors 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Don’t think it’s working

Artemis: Stupid brother. It’s not even Winter! 

Aphrodite: You could just say he’s coping 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Good idea

Chapter Text

Spark Bug: Ehhhhhh

Spark Bug: How do you get your siblings to be in one place

Wise Girl: Why? 

Seaweed Brain: Are they all over the place?

Spark Bug: More like all over the world

Seaweed Brain: Damn

Spark Bug: And they’re not always online 

Spark Bug: Bill is in Egypt, and Charlie is in Romania

Spark Bug: Percy is almost always in the Ministry of Magic and comes home during breaks and sometimes the weekend – lives in a flat in Muggle London 

Seaweed Brain: Okay, damn 

Seaweed Brain: The other Percy is doing so much better than me

Spark Bug: He’s smart as hell >:3 

Seaweed Brain: Hey – I’m smart too!

Wise Girl: How many of your dumb ideas never worked the way you wanted them to

Seaweed Brain: Oh shit 

Ghost King: Bianca 😭

glowstick: YOU UNLOCKED HIS TRAUMA, PERCY

glowstick: GODS DAMN IT 

RARA: Blame Annabeth 

glowstick: thanks Reyna

glowstick: Now I know who not to heal when injured

Wise Girl: :0

Wise Girl: REYNA 

RARA: Snitches get the bitches 

Firebug: Absolute queen

Spark Bug: You guys are nuts

Spark Bug: I need my siblings

Beauty Queen: Just a question

Beauty Queen: How do you like living with 6 older brothers

Spark Bug: Not great, but great at the same time

Beauty Queen: I see

Spark Bug: I’ll see u guys later

Beauty Queen: Alrighty! :D 

Spark Bug has created a new group chat and added foodlover, Left Twix, Right Twix, booknerdweasley, dragonlover, and Handsome 

Spark Bug has renamed the group chat name to The Weasley Sibs 

dragonlover: could’ve picked a better group chat name, Ginny

Spark Bug: That’s all I could think of rn 

Spark Bug: Also, ur name has to change

dragonlover: no it doesn’t!

Spark Bug: Mhm 

Spark Bug has renamed dragonlover to “dragonboy” 

dragonboy: y’know what

dragonboy: I dig it 

Handsome: What’s this for, Ginny? 

Spark Bug: Everyone here has to come clean

foodlover: 🤨

Left Twix: What do you mean

Right Twix: Exactly

booknerdweasley: Why do I have over 100+ messages after my last text

Spark Bug: That’s exactly what I called this meeting about! 

Right Twix: :0 

Left Twix: Percy’s in trouble 

Handsome: To be fair, I haven’t checked the gc in a while either

dragonboy: And I’m only here for the drama 

booknerdweasley: what exactly did I last send

Spark Bug posted 1 image attachment 

Spark Bug: Right there

Handsome: oop 

dragonboy: Le GAsP 

Right Twix: Percy’s type is Oliver Wood?!

Left Twix: It’s confirmed?! 

booknerdweasley: shut up, you two 

Right Twix: Now we know what type of wood is up in Percy’s ass

Left Twix: It’s just wooden :( 

booknerdweasley replied to Right Twix: shut up, George

Right Twix: Hehe

Right Twix: No :P 

booknerdweasley changed the group name to “someone get the bread – it’s cold” 

foodlover: what an odd name

Handsome: Who knew Percy could be like this? 

booknerdweasley changed the group name to “Ginny, stop texting me – PLS – for the love of Merlin” 

Spark Bug changed the group name to “NO. Not until u answer these questions” 

Handsome: You know, you two could just. . . type it out

dragonboy: let them have their fun 

booknerdweasley changed the group name to “ALRIGHT! Merlin ur so annoying” 

Spark Bug changed the group name to “Nuh uh 🤨Take that back” 

booknerdweasley changed the group name to “fineeeeeeeeee. I’ll answer ur deliberate questions” 

Spark Bug changed the group name to “YES” 

booknerdweasley changed the group name to “Only after my work is finished” 

Spark Bug changed the group name to “Are you FUCKING kidding me?!” 

booknerdweasley changed the group name to “yes” 

Spark Bug changed the group name to “rude” 

Chapter Text

Fav <3 Oracle: Argghhhhhh

Wise Girl: What’s wrong, Rachel?

Fav <3 Oracle: I can’t think of anything to draw or paint

glowstick: Lemme guess

glowstick: You’ve got art block 

Fav <3 Oracle: Yes. I’m cursing Apollo

  Lester Papadopoulos: oi! 

Fav <3 Oracle: Who else am I supposed to curse? 

Fav <3 Oracle: No one else has the Art section covered besides you

  Lester Papadopoulos: Fucking hell

  Lester Papadopoulos: You are going to be the death of me

glowsticks: Gods can’t die. . . . right? 

  Lester Papadopoulos: If you’re a god but in mortal form, then yes

  Lester Papadopoulos: You can die

Artemis: Apollo. I am not allowing you to die.

  Lester Papadopoulos: BUT WHAT IF I CAN

Artemis: NO SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

  Lester Papadopoulos: I CAN AND I WANT TO

Artemis: NO 

Artemis: NO BROTHER OF MINE IS GOING TO STAB HIMSELF

Fav <3 Oracle: I was just complaining about having Art Block and cursing Apollo 

Fav <3 Oracle: How the hell did it resort to Apollo having suicidal thoughts

  Lester Papadopoulos: uh

  Lester Papadopoulos: Because you cursed me :) 

Fav <3 Oracle: I’m going to go offline before Lady Artemis comes directly to me and physically strangles me

Fav <3 Oracle has gone offline

Lester Papadopoulos: YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO MY ORACLE @Artemis

Artemis: WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

Lester Papadopoulos: KILL A GUY

Lester Papadopoulos: DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN STRANGLING MY ORACLE

Artemis: Alright fine! 

Artemis: As long as you don’t physically harm yourself 

Artemis: And I mean it. >:( 

Lester Papadopoulos: Yes, Arty 

Artemis: oh boy

Lester Papadopoulos changed Artemis to “Arty” 

Arty: Fantastic 

Chapter Text

theboywholived: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

theboywholived: Help me

theboywholived: pls. 

books4life: Jesus, Harry, what happened to you? 

theboywholived: everything, Hermione

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I can confirm

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: So can I 

foodlover: those 3 are having the best time of their lives

foodlover: metaphorically speaking

Adoray? More like Nightmaray has added Deanbean, and Exploded Feather to the strange people – but ok group chat 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I told you Ron’s been spending way too much time with Zabini ^ 

Deanbean: Fuck

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Pay up, bitch :) 

foodlover: YOU TWO WERE BETTING ON ME SPENDING MORE TIME WITH ZABINI?! 

Deanbean: yes, and I just lost the bet 

Deanbean: Gotta pay up the 15 Galleons 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: And now I’m 15 Galleons richer :D 

Exploded Feather: Oh fuck, I gotta pay Rowan too

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Now I’m 30 Galleons richer :D 

books4life: isn’t that a bit much

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: ‘Mione. I’m going to hold your hand when I say this:

books4life: ?

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Didn’t you also make a bet with Ginny that I wasn’t going to end up with Arlan? 

books4life: Oh fuck I forgot about that one 

Spark Bug: Haaaaaa

Spark Bug: She had to pay up 20 Galleons for that, cause she said Arlan wouldn’t date someone as insufferable as you 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’m insufferable?? >:0 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: I mean you kind of were. . . 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: You were kind of annoying when we first met. . . always pouting like a child for some reason

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Betrayed by my own boyfriend :( 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’m going to cry in the corner T-T

Adoray? More like Nightmaray has gone offline 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Oh shit he actually is 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: He’s a little drama queen, but we love him for that

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Imma cheer him up before it gets worse 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher has gone offline 

Spark Bug: Can you believe the lovebirds? 

Loonie: We’re literally dating 

Spark Bug: sowwy 

theboywholived: can I go back to my crises now?

Spark Bug: Yes, you may

theboywholived: why the fuck is there Harry x Tom Riddle who is also known as Voldemort on A03

Dray: BITCH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Zucchini: YOU AND THE DARK LORD? 

Zucchini: OH FUCK NO

Panson: WAY TO DROP A BOMB ON US, POTTER

Panson: LIKE EWWWWWWW

Dray: AS IF BEING PAIRED WITH SEVERUS ISN’T ENOUGH FOR THOSE AUTHORS

Panson: THAT IS JUST DISGUSTING 

Panson: STAY AWAY FROM US POTTER

Panson: ehhh. . . stay away from Zabini and me 

Panson: Not Malfoy – I’m doing you a favor 

Dray: Praise to the Lord, Gods, and Merlin that those ships must go

foodlover: No wonder Harry looked disgusted earlier 

books4life: He was reading a fanfic that had that ship there

theboywholived: WAY TO BLOW MY COVER

foodlover: I need someone to restrain him from reading A03 for a week 

Dray: I’ll do it, since these two are too grossed out right now

foodlover: thx Malfoy

Dray: Anytime, Weasley

Chapter Text

theboywholived: I know all of y’all wanted me to not look at A03 for a week

books4life: Harry. 

foodlover: mate ur getting a scroll hit on your head

Dray: I honestly tried to stop him

Dray: I did my best :( 

Panson: You did fineeee

theboywholived: Please tell me why there are these fuck ass ships – and also I know all most of the Gods are in here but like that’s fine 

theboywholived: Prepare yourself

theboywholived: Hermione/Severus, Percy Weasley/Hermione, Hermione/McGonagall, Draco/Severus, Draco/Lucius, Artemis/Percy Jackson, Nico/Reyna, Lucius/Hermione, and worst of all. . . 

theboywholived: Zeus/Poseidon/Hades

Everyone: . . . 

theboywholived: The silence is deafening

books4life: OF COURSE IT IS HARRY

books4life: WHY AM I SHIPPED WITH MOSTLY ADULTS

booknerdweasley: That is DISGUSTING 

booknerdweasley: HERMIONE IS THE SAME AGE AS RON

booknerdweasley: THAT IS WHAT – 4 YEARS YOUNGER?

booknerdweasley: AND ALSO I DON’T LIKE HERMIONE THAT WAY EW

books4life: ALSO WHY AM I PAIRED WITH MALFOY’S FATHER?

books4life: HE LOOKS LIKE A RIPOFF ELSA

books4life: no offense, Draco

Dray: None taken

Dray: I do not know what an Elsa is sooo

books4life: It’s a muggle character with ice-magical powers in a film called Frozen

Dray: I see

Arty: Why am I shipped with Percy Jackson?

RARA: Oh fuck here comes the real drama

Seaweed Brain: We only had somewhat of a normal interaction without Artemis bash hating me 😭

Arty: THE WHOLE POINT OF BEING A VIRGIN GODDESS

Arty: IS REMAINING A VIRGIN GODDESS

Arty: Also men are gross except for my little brother, the one who has love problems :)

Arty has changed “Lester Papadopoulos” to “Boy/Girl Love Problems” 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: Arty that’s mean, . . . :( 

RARA has replied to theboywholived: Who fucking shipped me with Nico di Angelo? 

glowstick: SOMEONE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SHIP NICO WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

Ghost King: . . . I see Reyna more as a mother

Ghost King: Because she literally adopted me and Hazel

chocolate: :D 

RARA: Your username has got to change, @Ghost King

Ghost King: no. 

RARA has renamed “Ghost King” to “Neeks” 

Neeks: awh :(

Hades: Someone kill me

Neeks: Dad. You’re the God of the Underworld

Hades: Fuck

Hades: Anyways why am I being shipped with my stupid ah brothers?

Poseidon: STUPID?

Zeus: THE AUDACITY 

Hades: Apollo’s right

Hades: We need a hero 

Hades: Also don’t mind me - I too was checking out A03 and tell me why I see Nico di Angelo x Percy Jackson 

Seaweed Brain: I am definitely dead

Neeks: Yeah he strangled me when I betrayed him

glowstick: He did what?

Seaweed Brain: You misread! 

glowstick: You’re so dead Jackson

Seaweed Brain: Oh boy

Hades: I don’t approve of a Jackson 

Seaweed Brain: Uh -

Hades: And I don’t approve of a Grace

The Amazing Grace: I’m sorry?

The Tree Bitch: I should be offended too but like, I’m not

Hades: But I will approve of a Solace since he makes my son happy

Hades: And also because Apollo is a better father than all of y’all by spending actual time with his three kids 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: Thank you Uncle Hades :D 

Hades: Tis true tho

Loonie: Y’all I just found something disturbing to see

theboywholived: You know it’s bad when Luna gets involved 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Worst case scenario is that she might end up on a murder spree after this

Loonie: Who in the right mind shipped me with Luke Castellan in an Explicit fanfic?

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I could totally see her on a murder spree

theboywholived: that’s true 

golden replied to Loonie: GIRL I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU

Loonie: EXACTLY

Loonie: Also who decided to write in that very same fanfic: Lavender Brown/Leo Valdez?

foodlover: Oh fuck no

foodlover: She’s traumatized me with the “Won-Won”

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Wasn’t she obsessed with you? 

foodlover: same thing! 

Indigo's Dreamcatcher: Right. . . 

foodlover: Thank the gods that Zabini and Praviti saved me from that relationship 

foodlover: It was then that we realized we were all gay/lesbian 

Firebug: You cannot pay me enough Drachmas to date that girl

Firebug: She gives off Calypso vibes 💀

foodlover: We’re friends now don’t worry

RARA: FUCK

RARA: WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND SHIPPED ME AND PERCY JACKSON

Loonie: In an Explicit fanfic? 

RARA: YES

RARA: ALSO PERCY HAS A HAREM CONFIRMED???

Seaweed Brain: I’m just traumatized 😭

Beauty Queen: EWWWWW

Beauty Queen: They shipped me with Percy! 

Beauty Queen: I don’t get the hype about wanting to be a couple with Percy ngl

Seaweed Brain: It’s because most people say that I’m their type

Beauty Queen: hmmmmm

Beauty Queen: Ya, no, Nico’s right

Seaweed Brain: Wha –

Beauty Queen: You’re not my type 

glowstick: pause. 

glowstick: who the fuck shipped me with Piper

Beauty Queen: LEGIT ARE YOU SERIOUS 

glowstick: unfortunately – why am I also shipped with Percy Jackson wtf

Seaweed Brain: Alright – we get it

Seaweed Brain: A03 has some cursed and interesting ships 

Loonie: That’s it

Loonie: I’m on a murder spree

Dray: Luna – no

Loonie: Luna yes :) 

Chapter Text

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: It’s been awfully quiet here

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: @Dray, did Luna murder anyone

Dray: Nah, I stopped her before she could grab a knife 

Dray: All because she was going to end Potter’s life since he brought her into this mess

theboywholived: not cool btw :( 

Loonie: If I’d actually wanted to murder someone

Loonie: I’d done it with the killing spell 

theboywholived: Draco, I think you need to check on your cousin

Dray: She is not my cousin

theboywholived: I’m sorry, but she looks like she could be your cousin

Dray: And I’m saying no

An 

Unknown Number has joined the strange people, but ok

Unknown Number: Hi?

Dray: Who the fuck invited you?

theboywholived: An unknown number?

Seaweed Brain: Did any of us invite this guy or girl to the chat

Firebug: I’m pretty sure he hacked into it

Firebug: I’m wrong – the creator just said she put him in 

Seaweed Brain: Did she say anything else

Firebug: No

Wise Girl: For once, you two are acting the responsible ones 

Wise Girl: I might have a feeling about who this “unknown” is

Seaweed Brain: Oh, really? 

Wise Girl: Well, we all know most of Apollo’s children died during the Second War of the Titans 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: Meh babies 😭

Wise Girl: A few survived, like, very tiny

Wise Girl: Which meant Will was elected as Head Counselor 

Wise Girl: Lee Fletcher was buried in a golden shroud

glowstick: I couldn’t find Michael’s body after the war was over 

glowstick: And most of my other cabinmates were either buried or lost somewhere

Wise Girl: So it’s safe to say that Michael never got a proper burial tomb

Neeks: According to Ancient Greek religion, without a proper burial, their soul will be forever wandering in the River of Styx 

Neeks: Well, at least for 100 years 

Firebug: You know, I was just wondering if Michael and the others had a proper burial, but were held somewhere in secret 

Wise Girl: That seems unlikely 

Dray: Should we be worried that you're just casually discussing death? 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: They’re demigods, so it’s a regular occurrence in their world 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: And well, the God of the Underworld, Hades, is here soooo 

Neeks: It seems right to talk about death so casually as you guys do with magic

theboywholived: The wizarding world does have its quirks 

Dray: Death here is a common occurrence, given the Dark Lord and stuff

books4life: Let’s not forget that you, Rowan, and Arlan are all demigods as well

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Hermione’s not wrong

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: We’ve experienced both battles – The Battle of the Labyrinth and The Second Titan War 

Seaweed Brain: You’re missing one more war

The Amazing Grace: The war against Gaea herself

foodlover: The Earth itself? :0 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Hermione – since when did Ron know what the name “Gaea” meant

books4life: Library, plus his date with Zabini, which was all last week

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: He remembered all that? 

foodlover: Come on now! I’m not that stupid >:(

Panson: Zabini here has quite the influence on Weasley 

Zucchini: We were just talking about the unknown number. Why are we suddenly bringing in death and the wizarding world together? 

Panson: Piss off, Zabini

Panson: You’re ruining the fun

Zucchini: Yeah, I think I’ll stay with Ron

Panson: HEY

Panson: YOU’RE NOT LEAVING YOUR DORM ROOM

Panson: It’s past curfew! 

Panson: @Dray, do something! 

Dray: We are not losing any more house points to Gryffindor, buddy

Zucchini: Fineeeeeeee

glowstick: Come to think of it, why are y’all staying up?

glowstick: You should be asleep

glowstick: Like, all of the Wizarding Students here should be asleep 

Neeks: Babe. 

Neeks: Let them have their fun 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I’ll log off if that helps you any better, Solace

Adoray? More like Nightmaray has gone offline

glowstick: Is he asleep? 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Well, he just cuddled up against me, so it's safe to say he is

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Rowan here needs to sleep early, even on weekend nights, since Angelina Johnson will show no mercy when it comes to early Quidditch practice

theboywholived: I’m afraid she’s gone nuts after Wood made her Captain 

theboywholived: She’s practically following in his footsteps 

theboywholived: Yeah, I need sleep

theboywholived: Quidditch Practice tomorrow morning starts early at 6 AM

theboywholived has gone offline 

foodlover: Oh, how I forgot I’m on the team

foodlover: Bye, people

foodlover: And random stranger

foodlover has gone offline

Unknown Number: Thank you? 

Neeks: You possess some strange aura. . . 

Neeks: Hmmm. . . 

Neeks: Percy, what are the chances of this unknown number being a Norse Demigod

Seaweed Brain: None. 

Seaweed Brain: I have their numbers, and they don’t match up to this one 

Neeks: For fucks sakes 

Neeks: Well then, the chances are high, and he’s one of the dead

Neeks: @Hades, Dad, did you perchance allow them out into the world of the living

Hades: That would have been Thanatos 

Thanatos: With all due respect, Father

Thanatos: They deserve a second chance at life

Thanatos: Most of them are even children

Neeks: That does not sound like the Thanatos I know

Thanatos: . . . fuck you

Neeks: I can figure this unknown number out without you

Thanatos: Rude

Chapter Text

Unknown Number: Umm

Unknown Number: I feel like I should tell my name

Seaweed Brain: Yes, please

Seaweed Brain: It hurts my brain just trying to figure you out

Neeks: Same here

Unknown Number: Ummm

Unknown Number: I’m Lee Fletcher – used to be head counselor for the Apollo Cabin

Boy/Girl Love Problems: SON?!

glowstick: YOU’RE ALIVE!? :0

Unknown Number: Yerh 

Unhinged Tree Planter: Great

Unhinged Tree Planter: Now both of them are having a mental breakdown 

Unhinged Tree Planter: And I have to watch Kayla and Austin look confused as fuck as Will and Apollo break down in tears

Unknown Number: Sorry? 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: PTSD 

Unhinged Tree Planter: BRO

Arty: Apollo. NO. 

glowstick: Anxiety 

Unknown Number: Uh, guys? 

Neeks: Trust me when I say this: I was not ready for Will to join in

Seaweed Brain: Crippling Depression 

Poseidon: Are you alright, son?

Seaweed Brain: There is no question 

Neeks: You should kill me 😃

chocolate: NICO NO

Hades: I am not allowing you to die

theboywholived: Laying out like a horror scene

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: instant war flashbacks, huh?

Deadric: Are you good, Harry?

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: You should know this

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: He legit sang under the sea

Deadric: * Instant war flashbacks with the TriWizard Tournament*

Deadric: Oh shit, ur right 

theboywholived: With two best friends, I must choose between

foodlover: He’s talking about us, ‘Mione

books4life: Who would’ve thought

Seaweed Brain: Let me be with the dead 

Neeks: I mean, I would gladly kill you

glowstick: BAD NICO 

theboywholived: We feel like shit every day

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: And a bit of a mishap 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Rowan. No. 

theboywholived: But we’re asking nicely 

Seaweed Brain: So, please do it by drowning 

Wise Girl: You’re a son of Poseidon 

Wise Girl: You can’t physically drown

Seaweed Brain: Then I can drown mentally 😤

Bleat: That isn’t a thing 

theboywholived: Under the seaaaaaa

Unknown Number: I fear they need therapy 

Wise Girl: None of us can afford it 

Seaweed Brain changed “Unknown Number” to “Lee Fletcher came from the dead”

Lee Fletcher came from the dead: That is rude

Seaweed Brain: :) 

Seaweed Brain: Rude, but true

Chapter Text

Wise Girl: Has anyone seen Malcolm 

Fav <3 Oracle: Last time I checked, he was on a date with Connor 

The Amazing Grace: I checked the news 

Neeks: That’s unlikely of you

The Amazing Grace: I can’t even say shut up or else Hades will kill me

Hades: :) 

Neeks: Thanks, Father

Hades: Ur welcome son

Seaweed Brain: Go on, Jason

The Amazing Grace: The police are chasing a fucking blue Lamborghini Huracan

The Amazing Grace: With firepower – oh dear gods

The Amazing Grace: Just realized that Leo is not home yet

Wise Girl: SHIT

Wise Girl: SO ARE THE STOLLS 

MPace: Am on a date with Connor 

MPace: Sorry

Wise Girl: WHERE IS CONNOR 

MPace: Driving the Lamborghini Huracan away from the police :D 

MPace: I’m in the car 

MPace sent one image attachment 

Seaweed Brain: Your date was to steal a car?!

Hermes: GO MY SON

MPace: Connor is currently driving at 200 mph rn

MPace: And also he is a Son of Hermes, so stealing is natural ☺️

Hermes: WOO!! 

Fav <3 Oracle: Where did Connor steal a Lambo? 

MPace: Uhhh

MPace: From your father? 

Fav <3 Oracle: Eh, that’s fineeee 

Fav <3 Oracle: He’s rich and all and doesn’t care about that car anyway

MPace: So. . . fuck the rich?

Fav <3 Oracle: EXACTLY

Fav <3 Oracle: FUCK THE RICH AND GIVE IT TO THE POOR

The Amazing Grace: SINCE WHEN WAS THERE ANOTHER STOLEN CAR?

Firebug: GO LEE

Lee Fletcher came from the dead: I’m sorry?

Firebug: I MEANT THE OTHER LEE

Firebug: @oldestchild

Lee Fletcher came from the dead: I see

Firebug: He’s driving the Koenigsegg Jesko Absolut that we also stole from Rachel’s father 

Firebug: AND DANG THIS THING GOES FAST 

Firebug: NO WONDER WHY FRED DATES THIS GUY

Firebug: HE’S COOL AS FUCK

The Amazing Grace: That answers my question about where Leo has been

GiveFranks: No wonder the reporters asked us about stolen cars

chocolate: Makes sense now

Seaweed Brain: What did they ask? 

GiveFranks: "Praetor Zhang, do you know who stole the cars in New York City and is currently on the loose?” 

chocolate: And he replied with a “What?” 

books4life: Just a thought, but wouldn’t they get charged in the Ministry of Magic for stealing Muggle cars?

Hecate: I put them off the list :) 

Hecate: So my people won’t conduct trials over stupid things

books4life: Thank you, Lady Hecate

Hecate: My pleasure 

dragonboy: @foodlover, @Spark Bug, @booknerdweasley, @Handsome, Mum got a howler from Professor McGonagall

foodlover: uh oh

Spark Bug: What did it say

dragonboy: “The twins are at it again – where are they?! They are missing from Hogwarts as well as Lee Jordan, and we haven’t heard from the Ministry of Magic! If you see your sons and Lee, please give them a proper talking to!”

dragonboy: That’s the howler

Spark Bug: How are you dealing with it?

dragonboy: Not great, ngl 

dragonboy: I myself somehow got into an argument defending the twins

Handsome: Big mistake, Charles 

dragonboy: Fuck you

booknerdweasley: Bill = 1

booknerdweasley: Charlie = 0

dragonboy: GODS DAMN IT PERCE

booknerdweasley: :) 

theboywholived: Oh wait – that’s right

theboywholived: The twins are still in Hogwarts 

Firebug: They’re having fun at least

GiveFranks: Another stolen car from Rachel 😭

Fav <3 Oracle: WOO! I told the twins and Travis to steal it

Fav <3 Oracle: They were left behind in the dust by Malcolm, Connor, Lee, and Leo

MPace sent one video attachment

MPace: LEGIT PLAYING FAST AND FURIOUS RN WHILE BEING CHASED BY THE POLICE

Hermes: BREAK THE TRAFFIC RULES DAWLING 

Hades: Just don’t kill anyone, and I’ll be happy

Hermes: GO CONNOR! GO TRAVIS! 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: What the actual fuck is happening

Unhinged Tree Planter: I have no idea

Arty: argh

Arty: Boys. 😒

GiveFranks: THERE’S A FOURTH CAR STOLEN 😭😭

Fav <3 Oracle: Well, that one came from the streets 

Fav <3 Oracle: And that’s not my dad’s 

Seaweed Brain: I think I know who stole it

Seaweed Brain added Practically a Rainbow(He/Him) to the strange people but ok group chat

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): That’d be my boyfriend! Who stole the damn car >:)

Fav <3 Oracle: Who?!

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): Magnus Chase! 

Neeks: ISN’T HE DEAD THO? 

Neeks: WAIT 

Neeks: UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD TOO

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): Ehhhh, we respawn in the mortal world if we die in a hotel

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): In a hotel called Valhalla. Pretty boring, but yes

Neeks: Dad. Wtf did you do those guys

Hades: Don’t look at me

Hades: I have no idea 

Neeks: Thanatos?

Thanatos: Not Greek demigods, not my responsibility

Neeks: Fuck you

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): HOLY SHIT MAGNUS

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): HE DID A SHARP RIGHT TO ESCAPE THE COPS 

Wise Girl: GO COUSIN!

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: BRING THE CARS TO HOGWARTS!

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: BABE NO

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: WAIT NO AODHIUHOSJAOI

Adoray? More like Nightmaray has gone offline

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Took your phone privileges away for a week >:( 

theboywholived: Just witnessed Arlan take away Rowan’s phone :) 

foodlover: Even he has some crazy ideas 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: He’s a phone addict 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: And now he’s grumpy bc I said that

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Gonna cheer him up

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Don’t @ us 

theboywholived: The people in the Gryffindor common room just witnessed Arlan grabbing Rowan by the waist and lifting him up from the couch

books4life: And they’re gaping at them

Deadric: ngl Arlan looked weak before you actually get to witness something like this 

theboywholived: Well, we now know who’s going to die today

Deadric: Fuck

Deadric unsend a message

Deadric: Pretend nothing happened. 

Deadric: Pls. 

theboywholived: Hmmmmm. . . okay :D 

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): We escaped the cops! :D 

MPace: So did we! 

Firebug: We escaped, too! 

Stoll 1: So did we :) 

Hermes: FUCK YA 

Practically a Rainbow(He/Him): I’m adding Maggie to the group chat :) 

Practically a Rainbow added Mangos to the strange people, but ok group chat 

Mangos: . . .

Mangos: How many people are in this group chat???? 

Seaweed Brain: Uhhh

Seaweed Brain: A lot :) 

theboywholived: It includes us wizards :) 

Hecate: And gods! 

Mangos: Goodness 

Mangos: Is this the entirety of the Greek Pantheon? 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: Unfortunately

Arty: Yes

Hermes: Indeed, it is

Hermes: The other gods are here, they just don’t wanna ruin the fun :) 

Hermes: So enjoy your stay!

Mangos: Okay. . .

Chapter Text

quidditch4life: @booknerdweasley help

booknerdweasley: what

quidditch4life: The twins are too much

quidditch4life: help me

booknerdweasley: How bout no?

quidditch4life: PERCY PLEASEEEEEEEE 

booknerdweasley: @everyone minus the gods – should I save him

chaser_7: flat out no

Spinny: no

redbell: nah

Seaweed Brain: Let him suffer >:) 

Wise Girl: idk

Bleat: Maybe? 

GiveFranks: He might need it

Stoll 1: Nah

Stoll 2: Let him be like that

oldestchild: Whatever is happening to him, I’d say it’s perfectly fine

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: I haven’t seen our dear old Captain act like that 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Same here

quidditch4life: Percy pleaseeeeeeee

Left Twix: Have you snogged on our dear brother, Ollie?

quiddtich4life: THIS BITCH

quidditch4life: NOT WHEN EVERYONE IS ONLINE YOU DAMNED FOOL

Left Twix: Hehe

booknerdweasley: So that’s what you wanted help with

booknerdweasley: It’s traditional to ask someone’s partner questions

quidditch4life: I’d like to say no

Left Twix: not good enough

Right Twix: Come on, Ollie! 

quidditch4life: no 

Left Twix: How long have you dated our older brother Perce behind our backs? 

booknerdweasley: 2 years since our 7th year :) 

Left Twix: :0

Right Twix: :0

Wise Girl: That is long

quidditch4life: Percyyyyyyyyyyy

quidditch4life: we’d agree on telling them when we’re ready??? 

booknerdweasley: Eh

booknerdweasley: it was bound to happen

quidditch4life: I’m going to drown myself in the showers

Seaweed Brain: Why didn’t I think of that?

Bleat: Percy. No. 

booknerdweasley: Fred. George. 

Left Twix: Ye?

Right Twix: what up

booknerdweasley: You know what we could do :) 

Right Twix: Ahhh right! 

Left Twix: You start it, Perce :) 

quidditch4life: Start what? 

oldestchild: I’m afraid the twins' influence had started to rub off on him

booknerdweasley: So let me be

Left Twix: Tight as virgin, boy, don’t get nervous (tight)

booknerdweasley: And I’ll set you freeeeeeeee, oh yeah

Left Twix: I’m here to serve you, customer service (right?) 

Left Twix: I saved a dick by giving it CPR

booknerdweasley: I am

Right Twix: Reese’s Puffs, Reese’s Puffs 

booknerdweasley: in Misery 

Right Twix: Eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up! 

Right Twix: Reese’s Puffs, Reese’s Puffs

Left Twix: I saved a dick by giving CPR! 

Right Twix: Eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up! 

quidditch4life: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

booknerdweasley: . . .

Left Twix: . . .

Right Twix: . . .

booknerdweasley: alr, fine, we’ll stop

Right Twix: For now :) 

Left Twix: Though it doesn’t help that Ollie here didn’t answer our questions

quidditch4life: You can do that later!

booknerdweasley: the shower’s on

booknerdweasley: I’m going to take him out of there before he continues drowning himself 

booknerdweasley: Fred, George. Question him during his stay over at the Burrow, yeah?

Left Twix: kk

Right Twix: You got it, Perce!

Wise Girl: How often does Oliver drown himself?

theboywholived: He tried drowning himself in the showers during Gryffindor’s loss to Hufflepuff in my 3rd year

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: The man’s quite passionate about Quidditch 

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: My guy didn’t visit Harry when he was in the hospital wing 💀

Left Twix: He was busy drowning himself in the showers back then to care 

Deadric: I mean, I did offer him a rematch 

Right Twix: You won “fair and square,” according to him

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: But Harry fell off his broom because of the dementors 

Left Twix: We couldn’t even look at dear old Cedric when we lost against Hufflepuff 😔

Right Twix: Took away our pride for sure 😤

Deadric: It’s not even that serious! 

Deadric: Is it? 

booknerdweasley: If you considered Ollie drowning himself at the loss not serious, then probably 

Deadric: I’m assuming you’ve dragged him out

quidditch4life: go kiss my ass 🖕

booknerdweasley: OLIVER 

Deadric: Grumpy as ever, Wood 😏

quidditch4life: I’m going to commit arson 

booknerdweasley: NO

Chapter Text

Hecate is offline

Seaweed Brain: I find it a bit strange that Hecate is offline 

Wise Girl: She must have godly business to attend to –

Hecate is online

Hecate: QUICK

Hecate: SON

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Huh?

Hecate: WHAT’S THAT ONE SPELL TO PRODUCE WATER?????

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: MOMMMMM

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: WHAT DID YOU DO? 

Thanatos: Pfft

Thanatos: She’d accidentally set Hypnos on fire 

Hecate: THANATOS, HELP ME OVER HERE

Thanatos: Alr, alr

Thanatos: Coming 

Hades: Is this the death of the god of sleep? 

Hecate: NO

Hypnos is online

Hypnos: HECATE, WHY AM I BURNING

Hecate: I’M DOING MY BEST TO PUT YOU OUT

Thanatos: She’s just forgotten the spell for water, my dear brother

Hypnos: I AM TRYING TO NAP IN PEACE

Neeks: Lady Hecate, do you need Percy?

Seaweed Brain: DON’T SUGGEST THAT

Hecate: I AM GOOD, THANK YOU 

Wise Girl: How is she typing if she’s trying to put the fire out

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: She’s using the magic of Howlers and her other two selves

Morpheus: In short, the Howlers are built into her phone – don’t ask me how that works

Morpheus replied to Hecate: Also, the spell for water is Aguamenti

Hecate: THANK YOU 

Hypnos: Oh, thank the gods 

Hypnos: The pain finally stopped 

Hypnos: Please don’t do that again 

Hecate: Maybe next time you shouldn’t have slept in my domain 

Hypnos: Oh so it’s my fault?

Morpheus: It’s both of your faults 

Morpheus: Do I have to restrain either of you from committing arson on one another?

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Mom

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: That was an act of arson? 

Hecate: hehe. . . maybe?

Seaweed Brain: Something new you learn every day about the gods

Wise Girl: They commit arson on one another

Hypnos: . . . 

Hypnos: I’m going back to bed, thank you very much 

Hypnos is offline

Thanatos: Guess I’ll look after him 

Morpheus: You have a job 

Thanatos: Never mind

Chapter Text

[Saturday]

[1:00 PM]

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Imma mute this chat 

Seaweed Brain: Uh – why?

chaser_7: It’s a sports day 

chaser_7: My final match of the year, sadly :( 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Yeah, and she’s going to murder her reserve chaser if I don’t get off my phone  

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Later losers 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray is offline 

Wise Girl: Sooooo

Wise Girl: Who’s playing?

books4life: Gryffindor vs Slytherin

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: More like Enemies vs Lovers sort of thing

Loonie: Indeed

Loonie: Most of the players are dating Slytherins 

Deadric: If I remember correctly, Draco and Harry are seekers for both teams

books4life: And they’re dating

nevillelovesplants: They were once formidable enemies 

books4life: Technically, Ron and Blaise were 

books4life: Actually, Blaise was just minding his own business while Ron is just straight up hating on the Slytherin house

books4life: But those two got close

Seaweed Brain: wow 

Seaweed Brain: Anything else we should know?

books4life: My girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson, is on the Slytherin team as well :) 

chaser_7: ALRIGHT

chaser_7: This is the last time I’ll be doing this speech because it is my last match as Captain

Right Twix: Babes.

Right Twix: We can hear you

chaser_7: I’m using text-to-speech idiot :) 

chaser_7: ANYWAYS

chaser_7: Okay, men! And women! This is it – the BIG ONE. My last chance at Hogwarts to seize that Quidditch Cup because of fucking Professor Umbridge ruined most of our games by forfeiting to whatever team we’re playing! This match will make it up, and Gryffindor will come on top! Just don’t flirt with each other, and we will win! I’m looking at you, Harry! And maybe Ron. We'd better win and hoist Gryffindor to victory! Or else. 

theboywholived: Yes ma’am

foodlover: I’ll do my best 

chaser_7: Hermione, do you care to do the favor and record the game?

books4life: okay 

Aphrodite: Your game has piqued us all, my dear

Beauty Queen: Oh no

chaser_7: wha

Hermes: The gods invited themselves, so we’ll be looking down and watching the match :) 

Hecate: I’ll be there personally for my son! :D 

Boy/Girl Love Problems: At least I could get somewhat of a break from questing too much

Unhinged Tree Planter: Fuck yeah

The Tree Bitch: The hunters and I will be cheering for Gryffindor! 

oldestchild: This is my last chance to comment on the match as well 

theboywholived: noooooo

theboywholived: your commentary was fun :( 

foodlover: yup 

Aphrodite: Well, enjoy yourselves – and entertain the gods as much as possible since this is our first time seeing the matches

Hecate: I think he’s got the message loud and clear

oldestchild: yepper peppers 

[After the match] 

[3:30 PM] 

books4life has posted 5 video attachments

books4life: I have to cut some of it because the video I took was way too long

Hermes: ‘Pollo, you were there personally???

Boy/Girl Love Problems: Yeah

Boy/Girl Love Problems: I’m thanking Hecate cause she dragged me and Meg over here

Unhinged Tree Planter: It was awesome

Unhinged Tree Planter: I get to witness Gryffindor’s keeper falling :D 

Unhinged Tree Planter: And then saved by a chaser from Slytherin 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Sounds like Zabini was right on the rescue 

Zucchini: Had to save him or his parents would fuss over him again

foodlover: I guess I owe him one

Zucchini: I am your boyfriend???

foodlover: Food is my passion 

Panson: HA

Chapter Text

Seaweed Brain: I think we need a new term for these two: @Indigo’s Dreamcatcher, @Adoray? More like Nightmaray

chocolate: Where is this going

Neeks: As far as I know: 

Neeks: It’s down in the hell hole for Percy

Seaweed Brain: Nonononono 

Seaweed Brain: Hear me out

Wise Girl: Percy, for all we know, you might die 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: You’ve got ten seconds 

Wise Girl: I was right 

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: Chop chop 

Seaweed Brain: At least stop being all threatening for once!

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Babe, calm down

Adoray? More like Nightmaray: whyyyyyyy

Indigo’s Dreamcatcher: Just hear him out