Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Eleven didn't notice.

To be honest, She didn't know much about the real world, thanks to Brenner, Even now, being nineteen, in her second year of Uni, it's still very much new to her. Her hair's longer now, middle-length, but long, so, it's exciting. She disliked the buzzcut, of course, it reminded her of the horrible memories.

She shivers, even thinking of it. 

"El! Max called out. Max is different now, since the events 4 years before. She's blind now, wheelchair-bound, due to the injuries, but she's here, so it matters. Despite being blind, she senses things. She's not 100% blind either.

"Max, El smiled, coming close to her. "How are you?" "Good, I guess, She replied. "About as good as I can be. Anyway, physical therapy might help me get to walk." She cut her hair. Like El, she'd been coping. Her life had significantly changed, more than the others, in El's opinion. Henry's gone, for now. El knows he'll somehow come back up into their lives, somehow. 

Somehow. 

Her PTSD conjures up nightmares in her mind. Henry, mostly. Vecna, too. Like her therapist said, It's her PTSD. Though, no one truly knows what happened, only the people who believe.

Belief, like it'll help. 

"I hope it works," El replied. "Is the chance high?" "Kind of, Max replied."Vecna did his work."  For now, they could enjoy their lives. It'd been four years. Everyone, including Mike, whom she dumped to focus on her schooling, told her he was gone.

yet, she didn't feel him being dead.

It was like when Will vanished, she knew he was still breathing, still there. It's similar to Vecna, except he's dormant, waiting to destroy Hawkins, perhaps the world, too. Or, she's being paranoid. But Eleven does know better.

Sometimes, when he sneaks into her mind, he likes tormenting her, telling her it's not over.

Yet, it seems like it is.

She nearly lost her life, in the Final fight.  But Eleven would’ve died for it. The world needed to be rid of Vecna and the upside down.

No matter what her friends would’ve told her or wanted to do, It had to be her. And anyway, it fit with the fact that she started it. All those years ago. Now mostly fitting in with society, El has grown a lot.

“Yeah,” She said." Better get to class before things get annoying.” Max nodded. The party remained close as ever. They even attended Nancy and Jonathan’s wedding.

Steve did get married of course, a bit later than that, though. 

El didn't know if it might've been too young to marry when they did, but she didn't plan to do so like them. She and Mike, well, broke up. They needed some distance, to learn about themselves. Eleven did learn so much on her own. Whereas Mike became what Max called a fuckboy, a term she quickly learned. Her other friends besides the party knew of her as Jane, but if she got closer to them, she'd tell them. Brenner was dead, he'd no longer bother her or the Party.

He liked to enter her dreams, too, though.

Billy, of course, under the control of Henry, liked creep in from to time. He scared her even without his control. She sighed. Once her classes finished, El met up with Will. He'd got himself his own little romantic story, a boyfriend, Alex. He's their age, but came from out of state for school. El found it funny, who'd go here, for school? Someone who didn't know Will, not much, might've been the best thing for him.

"Jane," Will grinned, using her birth name in public. "William," El teases back. She liked Jane, much better than Eleven, so no one really called her Eleven. Either Jane, or El. But, the more important thing is, everyone's happy.

"Mike's got a new girl, Will tells her. She likes the gossip. "Isn't she... his, what, sixth one this semester? El joked. "Probably, they don't last, Will smiled." Maybe breaking things off really hurt him."

"It'd been mutual, I tried to be nice, it wasn't because I stopped loving him," El explained. "We know, I think he knows too, but, first girlfriend, first love, everything like that, Will replied. 

They walk together, like normal. Now technically brother and sister, things were closer than ever between the two. Hopper and Joyce married, they moved in, though, Nancy and Jonathan found their own place to settle into. El tried playing it cool,  pretending like she didn't mind Mike fucking ever girl he found hot, but, truthfully, she felt kind of jealous. Was that the feeling everyone described? The ones in romance books? 

"El, I think you could try find someone too, you know, to move on from Mike, Will suggests. She turns." I don't think people like me very much." "Come on, El, I've seen the wfy people look at you, Will replied. "Granted, I try to get them to fuck off, but still." El chuckled. "Seriously? You must believe i'm destined for Mike or something."

"No, I think you could choose who you'd like to end up with. That's the freedom of choice, El."

Freedom.

The word's still new to her, honestly. The lab never gave her the freedom of choosing for herself, for finding her identity. None of that. It'd be too dangerous not to control them, right? Otherwise they'd turn on Brenner.

She did just that. 

"Right, El replied." How's your own relationship going?" "Great," Will smiled."I mean, as good as a secret can be, in this place where everyone would hate you for just loving someone."

She learned this. Homophobia, hating people for being the word 'queer', or 'gay', had been the better word. The sun's out, it reminds El of California. It reminds her of the bullies. The humiliation. 

Angela probably wonders what happened to her, how she got out of the punishment she might've deserved, but they had it coming. If she didn't constantly torment her. El sighed, she moved on from that. She did. Besides, it's what they do in high school. They've probably forgotten her, too. So should she. 

Once she got back to her place,  the one she shared with Max, El could relax. Max rolled into the room, in her wheelchair. "Hey El." "Hey, She sighed. "Finally, no more school for today." Max chuckled. "You got mail." "Oh? El replied. She hardly got mail, not since moving into the city for school. 

"Secret admirer, I hope," El joked. Max smiled. "Finally moving on from jerkface Mike?" "I'm trying to," El replied." It's been kind of hard, I don't know why. I broke up with him." "Well, It isn't easy to do, Max replied. "Me dumping Lucas those few times wasn't easy for me. We worked through it, but you know. Now things seem harder than ever. There's challenges to everything."

El nodded.

Opening the envelope, her eyes widen immediately. It's not good. 

Max is blind, so, while her vision isn't 100% gone, she couldn't really see her reaction, but she sensed it might've been wrong. "What is it? She asked, coming closer to El. She debated whether or not to lie. But Max didn't need more on her plate. No, El would handle it on her own.

"It's fine, just junk, El lied, pushing the moil aside on her desk. "Anyway, that party at the frat seems cool to go to." Max shrugged. "People stare too much when i go, but who gives a shit right?"

"Yeah," El smiled.

She looked in her closet, for something nice to wear for the party tonight. She didn't party much, It isn't her thing, plus, with Hopper being your adoptive dad, well, you get used to his rules.

Then, the process begins. Her hair's long enough to be styled the way she wanted to, finally. She likes short hair, but is trying something new now. It fits her. She then puts on makeup. El's surprisingly good, for someone who had no exposure to the world up until she was twelve, but even then, took some time to learn. 

"Even though I can't see, I know you look great."

Max's new surgery, which should hopefully help her blindness, was coming up. El chuckled." Thanks, I know that means so much." She's not tall, so, she wears heels. It doesn't make her taller, but hopefully noticeable, plus, they were her style. 

"Hurry up, I'll go on without you, Madmax."

"oh come on!"

El chuckled. "I'm coming, geesh," Max replied. The only thing that couldn't work were her legs. "It's fun messing with you, El admitted. Max sighed. They mess with each other, it's part of their friendship. 

"Maybe you'll get laid, Max commented. El blushed, not even considering that. Of course, she learned about sex, eventually. Later than some kids, but of course, she didn't grow up like them.  "Not yet," El chuckled. "But maybe." "You didn't say no, She replied. El rolled her eyes, leaving their apartment they shared. The idea didn't disgust her. Most people her age weren't virgins. Hell, when she was fifteen, sixteen, they began becoming active. 

El didn't partake, of course. Not that she could. Besides mike, the interest boys had in her she didn't like. Plus, they seemed scared of her, which she understood. They drive over to the party.

ironic, Nancy, Steve, Jonathan, maybe, were doing this once too. 

El mainly goes to these to drink, to get more human experiences. To learn, too. Despite being in the normal world for some time, it didn't mean she knew things that the party knew, not entirely.

The frat, like expected, is loud. 

El gulped. "Remind me why I'm going." "To get fucked, Max said, bluntly. 

El blushed. "Right, that." 

After getting out of the car, they enter the party. Now, looking different, more eyes were on her. One person she noticed quickly had been Mike's bully, Troy. She didn't like the looks he was giving her. Didn't he remember her? Maybe not. 

Most kids from Hawkins went to the city, went to this school. 

Ew, She thought. Not him. He hurt mike. He hurt them. But he's giving me weird looks. Like every time, she spotted Mike, making out with his new girlfriend. El sighed, moving out of that room. 

Why?

Entering the kitchen, El begin pouring herself a drink. Vodka, she thinks. Someone whistles next to her. "The prettiest girl in this room, He tells El. She looks up." Thank you. I think you're quite handsome, She replied, smiling, to be nice.

"What's your name?" 

"Jane, yours?"

He tells her his name, Elliot. Tonight, she'll lose her virginity. Was it ideal? No, but, she'd like it to be done, maybe feel good in-between, then she won't feel so embarrassed. She drinks the vodka.  "I've got some better stuff, fireball, tequila, the stronger kind, maybe other things, he winks. She considers his clearly sexual offer, but she's slightly oblivious to the undertones. "Okay," El replied.

"Great."

He looks somewhat older, maybe twenty-three, or twenty-two, senior, while she's a sophomore. It's fine, right? It's 1990, the year of living. It's time to finally live the life she needed, and wanted.

“E- Jane?”

As El and Elliot start leaving to go somewhere else, Mike stood there." What are you doing?”

“I-“

”She’s going to have actual fun,” Elliot grinned. El nodded. "I'm fine, Mike. I haven’t even drank anything. I want this. And don’t you have your girlfriend to fuck?” "Right, it's Mike Wheeler, the fuckboy," Elliot joked. "Mad respect."

Mike rolls his eyes." Shut the fuck up. Jane, you don't even know what you want." El groaned, letting Elliot drag her from the party, or trying to. She knew what she wanted. Mike coddled her up too much, thinking she couldn't do things for herself. For once, in her nineteen years, she had been living for herself. Not for anyone else. "Nice ride," El compliments.

He winks." It's good for other things." El nodded.

He almost kisses her, but someone pulls him off of her before he could. 

Why did Mike have to ruin everything?

He had punched him so bad that he had to go to the hospital. And El wanted a perfectly normal night having fun like most college kids.

Mike didn’t get hurt too bad, but still. He could’ve gone to jail for assault. He’s lucky it didn’t happen like that. They had been distant for some time, since the breakup. Now El was determined to avoid him now more than ever. Didn’t he have a girlfriend?

“Boys, Max commented, when they got back to their apartment. ”He didn’t have any right to do that.” “I know, he doesn’t own me,” El replied." Whatever. I think that Elliot guy was kind of cool. I’d like to see him again, when he recovers.”

Max smirks. ”New boyfriend alert.” "Maybe, hookup, is the better term," El replied. The term had been explained to her. But still, she thought intimacy was meant for someone special, becoming less intimate now, didn't feel right to her.

still, sex, seemed tempting.

She sighed. Now, it might've been ruined for her. Like most things in her life. El didn't have the best luck. In fact, her bad luck followed her throughout. The darkness, followed, too.  Maybe it had been best to stay away from everyone, with Hopper in the Cabin. Maybe what he had done was right, in the end. Justifiable. She had been angry at the time, of course, but now?

Perhaps not.

She's trying to be more positive, she couldn't let the negativity get to her, no, she'd still enjoy the life that she'd been hoping for sometime. But this incident made Max like Mike less than she did before.

"He's such a dick, El," Max commented. "He still loves you, I bet on it." "Well, I don't want him back," El insisted." He should know that." "I'm sure he does," Max mumbled." But he won't care."

Mike has become different. He’s not the same person that she recognized. It was worrying in her opinion. She wonders if everyone else felt the same way. Surely, because he did become someone who she didn't know. Years before, he was kinder, didn't care whether or not he needed to fit in. He just was himself. College fucked up everything, or maybe, the trauma had done that. 

Everyone went to therapy, mostly, it had been recommended, but, they also knew they needed it. They wouldn't recover fully without it. It helped her, certainly. Of course, she kept some things limited. They couldn't know everything, they wouldn't believe her. Plus, there had been some idea put out on in the media of what happened. Most of them stuck to that idea, to be understood, to be seen. 

To be seen, whatever it had meant to her, she felt it, with her therapist.

It helped her become who she was now, less shy, but shy still, somewhat confident, better with her speech. Years ago, she wouldn't recognize herself now. She finally fit in with society, for the most part. 

The next night, when El had nearly fallen asleep, busying herself in the day studying, she heard a knock. She quickly woke up, wondering who needed to come by. Maybe Dustin? They talked last.  However, as El went to the door, she sensed that something was off. Whether or not it was part of her powers, She ignored it and opened the door.

It hadn’t been Dustin, but Mike instead.

“Mike? El said, shocked that he was even here. “Can I come in? I just want to talk,” He said. “A phone call could’ve been fine,” El said, annoyance in her voice.

”No, I needed to see you.”

She sighed of exhaustion." Fine, be quick, Mike.” He nodded, entering, and she closed the door behind him. It was raining too, so his hair was wet. “What do you want, Mike? An explanation of that night?” El asked, crossing her arms. She’s standing her ground this time. She’s changed. “El, I… I don’t know what happened that night if I’m being honest,” Mike said. "But he’s a known douche. You shouldn’t have gone with him.” 

"Mike, don't give me that bullshit," El frowned. "We're done, over, we could see other people. Who's the new girl you fucked, by the way?"  "Does it even matter? Mike groaned. She nodded." It does. She might be known for messing around." "Don't give me that, Mike replied. She rolled her eyes. "Oh i will, if you're going to give me, I shouldn't be screwing people."

"El, listen to me, I wasn't there, in that moment, He replied."I can't explain it, but i think... the upside down or something, might be involved." Seriously? He's giving her that  excuse?  In her head, yes, she suspected that things weren't over, not entirely, but since this had been some suspicion, with no proof, she lived her life. It was mostly gone. He had to be thinking she'd be naïve enough to believe him. 

In the past, she did forgive him. She didn't question much. But she'd grown into her own person. El no longer just depended on Mike. Is that what pissed him off? using this excuse?  "Mike, El said, softly." It's over. Every gate is closed, long gone. I think you're wrong." She truly believes this, but partly, there's suspicions of her own. Still, she's not entirely trusting Mike.

"What happened to us? He asked her, coming close. "Everything," El whispered. "Which is why we couldn't be together forever, Mike. We're too different." Different had been the nicer way to put it. "Different? Mike asked. "I didn't think that." "Me either, not until we broke up for good," El replied. She dumped him before, briefly. Then, they reconciled. But she kept her word on this one. 

"Just go, Mike. Please."

Luckily, Max was a deep sleeper, ordinarily. “El, why won’t you listen to me? Mike asked." When have I ever lied to you?” El held back crying. It brought back memories of them. "Since I learned not to trust you," She replied.

Since he decided to move on quickly, becoming someone she didn't know anymore. Was he even mike anymore? 

she didn't know.

Chapter Text

"Eleven."

He calls for her. She recognizes the voice of course, how could she not? It sent shivers down her spine. No one's called her Eleven in so long, it feels strange now. Yet she hears it, in her own mind. 

He's gone. Yet he lives here.

"You thought you stopped me," He spoke. His voice is of Henry's, not Vecna's. "I did stop you, you just exist here, so, you don't exist," El replied, venom in her voice, to be threating. But she barely won the final fight they had. He's older, more experienced, more powerful. Her powers? Well, she's still trying to figure shit out with them, Even now. Under her own free will.

He laughs, like it's funny. 

"you truly believe you're stronger, you truly believe i died?"

"yes. my mind, just imagines you."

He comes into the light. It's his human form. "You've grown, Eleven," He comments. "My name's Jane," She replied. "The name your mother gave you," Henry hums. She prefers calling him Henry, it's his name. But of course, his other one is fitting too. "Yes," She says." You can go now. I need sleep." He chuckled. "So naïve of you, to think you're still dreaming."

This is dreaming. It's not like her power, where she's in the void. If so, definitely not under her control.

"I've grown, so, my logic has too," El remarks.

Goddamn four years of peace, what now? Is he really still breathing in the upside down? No. She doesn't think so. "You have no idea what's coming," Henry warns her." This time, you won't stop it."

"I doubt it."

This dream is long, and she'd like to wake up, but clearly, she won't, soon, though, she hopes.  Then, he finishes with," You'll be helpless. You won't even see it coming. Too blind, it'll be too late by then."

she closes her eyes, reminding herself to wake the fuck up.

El jumps, not because it scared her, no, what terrified her is the warning. It felt real. Real enough she should warn her friends, even Mike. Though, maybe not. Not if he's becoming someone so different he might think she's crazy now. He might think it's over now, entirely.

Hearing noise in the kitchen, She goes to it. Max is in the kitchen, with coffee. 

"Morning, Max greets her." More nightmares?" El nodded." Except it felt more genuine than the others." "Oh?" Max say, her interested peaked." You think he might come back? His body had been completely destroyed." "Well, it's possible, with this fucked up world," El tells her. "True," Max responded. "Scientifically, though... It doesn't add up. Though, I'm no science nerd."

El laughed. "Leave it to Dustin." "Oh, by the wfy, you got voicemails this morning," Max commented. "From you-know-who." El sighed. "Of course. He won't ever stop bothering me. I told him off for a reason." El stood her ground, and she'd continue to do so. In her more grown up years, she visited her biological mother. Her father must've died, or something, but Hopper had been her Dad, so, she had someone in her life. Joyce, too.

"If you want, I could tell him to fuck off for you," Max suggested. "Well, your version of fucking off is different to mine, so no," El laughed." Maybe one day, if he doesn't give up. Which i honestly doubt he will."

El did hope on seeing Elliot sometime, somewhere, maybe the next party. He seemed cool, despite mike insisting he was a 'douche', an unfamiliar term to her, really. But she knew it didn't mean anything good, or nice. "He doesn't own you, just remember that when you make decisions," Max tells her. El replied, "Of course. I dumped him for that before. I did it a second time."

"Bitchin', right?"

"Bitchin', yeah."

She isn't used that word in so long, but when it went off her tongue, it felt right. It felt nice to use. Her vocab has expanded since then. It's a normal Saturday. She prefers weekends. 

Also, she had been tired from the night before. Her dreams did tend to keep her up. It reminded her of the void. She hasn't needed to go into it in so long, because why? There was no danger, but she'd sometimes use it to for fun, spy on people. Like when she spied on Mike and the others that one time, it was funny, but gross, since it'd only been the guys. 

She hasn't done it, though, in some time. She never used her powers, mostly because she hasn't needed to. They had finally managed to live their lives, live normally for once. El never had a normal life, so, while she liked it, it was unfamiliar, like the college party scene. She enjoyed it though, despite being introverted. It helped break her out of her shell, and find more friends.

More friends, mostly.

El needed more people outside of the group she knew too well. She's sure they feel the same way. Or maybe not. Of course, she still hoped they'd be close, they had this strong bond. Granted, it had developed because of everything that had happened, but they were still close. She wanted things to remain the same from that perspective. However, everything would change. There would always be change. 

El looked down to her wrist. She needed to remove it, somehow. They could remove tattoos, but, how could she explain this one? She just regretted it? It might've been the best explanation she got.

El makes her own coffee." Yesterday could've been better, don't you think?" "My night had been fun, until the douche ruined it," Max commented. "I found Lucas, funny enough. Somehow."

"you two always find your way back to each other."

"We do, It's funny, but sweet."

Soulmates, she heard the term for it. Were they soulmates? El liked to think so, for Max & Lucas. They broke up, but then got back together, broke up, the same old cycle, except this time, they were stronger than ever, no more breakups. El couldn't say the same for her. Did she have her own soulmate? Hopefully. She thought, before, it might've been Mike. Now, she isn't so sure.

Eleven.

His voice echoes in her mind. But, she ignores it, and takes ibuprofen. "The magic cure, El said, placing the bottle in front of Max. "Do you need some?" "God yes," Max replied, taking two of them.

El chuckled, sitting down next to her. Coffee, who didn't love it? well, she mostly drinks it for the caffeine. It wasn't her favorite. However, Max seemed to enjoy it.

It reminded her of the parents. They all drank coffee and read the mesosphere in the morning. Joyce, even, did that, but it was mainly the fathers. Maybe Brenner had his own family at home, and was like that. But she didn’t know.

She used to visit his grave, not because she mourned him but to be relieved and reminded that he was gone. She didn’t love him, as a child she did, but not for long. He didn't love her, only using the other kids for his experiment. She knew this. But deep down, she wished she truly, really, earned his approval. But, he wasn't the true monster either. It'd been Vecna. Brenner had been the catalyst though, which is bad too. 

At school, she tried to avoid Mike, who seemed to still be on with his hundredth girlfriend. People knew of him, yet they still let him fuck them? She rolled her eyes in disapproval. What could she do, though? It's not her life. 

Maybe it hurt because she hoped her first time would be with him. It didn't happen, but she secretly hoped, when she was ready. "Avoid him," Will tells her. "He's not worth your time."

He's been distant from the party for some time too, El didn't know where things went wrong though, not entirely. "I know, I should focus more on our upcoming visit back home," El smiled.

"Oh yeah, home. I'm excited too."

Will smiled. El did too. "I'm sure they miss us, so much." He laughed, they walk past Mike. He looks briefly, before focusing on his girlfriend. She gives El looks, too, but the kind that threaten. She thinks it's funny, honestly.

"Meet up for lunch?"

"Mhm. See you then, Jane."

It's weird being called Jane by the party, but in public, it holds the normalcy. "Hey," Dustin greets her. "Hey, El replied. "Someone's more grumpy than usual," He teased. El chuckled, walking now with Dustin. "Well, my life sucks right now, so, I'm going to be grumpy," El groaned. "Your life doesn't suck, Mike just ruins everyone's day," Dustin replied."I think he's officially just doing his own thing."

He managed to build his new life outside of the party, new asshole friends, girlfriends, well, more so flings. Whereas the rest of them usually, with a few new friends, stuck by each other, herself included. 

She sighed." See you later, future scientist." Dustin winked. The College is huge, bigger than El first thought on her very first day. In just one year, she became different to that girl then. 

She's so relieved.

She's normal, finally. She sometimes wonders what would've happened if she never left the lab to begin with. Her 12-year old self might've been stuck there forever, or worse, they would never have known about the upside down. Or maybe they would've, somehow. 

Everything would've happened one way or another, she realizes.  

"El?"

She is stopped by Mike. "Mike, seriously? El groaned." Besides, it's Jane in public." "i know, i know, he replied." Hear me out first before you decide you're done with me completely." 

"Fine."

She knows, she gives too many chances. She knows, she's still oblivious to many things, but, why not? She still loves him. El will hate herself forever for it. But he was her first boyfriend, and first kiss. He had been sweet once. The sweet boy who never gave up on her.

"I know you told me we needed to find ourselves, that breakup really did help, i think, in some ways, Mike began." But I still love you. Jane, fuck, I really do." "I bet you've told your girlfriend you love her too," El replied.

"It doesn't mean anything. She's just someone i fuck, that's all." 

Right, because fucking doesn't mean anything. 

"Mhm," El rolled her eyes." I've got classes to get to, Mike. If you're genuine, you could show it." She then leaves, going to her class. In the moment, she let her slight anger and jealousy get to her, so, she didn't think he'd prove it to her, honestly. It's spilling out words you don't mean. El sits next to her usual partner, the ever annoying Troy. It wasn't like she had much choice, they were forced.

He's smirking, like he's going to make some fucking comment. If she didn't have self-control, or any logic, she would've thrown him across the wall a long time ago. She better have the option of doing projects on her own. There isn't Angela or her annoying group of minions here. El knows he's going to try bothering her. When does he not? 

"So, we're partners, He grins. "I saw you at the party." "Right, I saw you too," El replied. She's surprised he doesn't remember her from when he nearly got Mike to jump, no, he did, but she looked different then. Buzzcut, pink dress that belonged to Nancy with the jacket. So, she could see why he didn't recognize her. He then scoots closer to her. Is this how everyone makes moves on someone they're interested? It seemed creepy.

If she thinks so, then it definitely is. 

"So uh, you seeing anyone? He asked. She scoots further from him. "No. I'm not really looking for someone right now." Or ever, she thought. But, he likes to try, so she lets him think she's interested. From what she knows, leading on someone isn't good, but it's Troy. They'd call him a 'douche', still not entirely knowing what it means. While he flirts, she puts up a fake smile.

"Wow, so interesting."

"Troy really asked you out?"

Max exclaimed this with confusion. "Mhm," El replied. "I'm totally turning him down but, the idea's there." "You're not considering it, are you? Max asked. "No, definitely not," El said." Especially if he remembers who I was."  Max giggled." Oh yeah, I wish i could've seen that." El giggled, too." He deserved it." "Right, well, you should definitely make Mike jealous, maybe with the other guy from the other day," She suggested.

"Not everything's about Mike."

"I know, but it'd spice things up, more drama."

Rolling her eyes, El opens the fridge for a Coke. Despite the trauma associated with it, she loves how the taste is. So she keeps on drinking it. "Your love life is some drama, focus on that." "I could, or I could focus on yours," Max teased. Plopping herself on the couch, El, one of the very few times she uses her abilities now, turns on the TV. "Perks of being different," El chuckled.

"I love being blind," Max responded, sarcastically." My Mom likes to believe I'll be back in shape if i have more surgeries. But it's more bills piled up on her." Everything had been fucked up since Billy's death, not that El missed him much, He terrified her, but he shouldn't have died the way he did. It was conflicting. It darkened their lives, Max's, especially.

El thinks it's entirely her fault, it began with her, after all. 

"I'm sorry, you know," El then blurted." For everything, how your life ended up like this." "El, it's not your fault, Max replied." It's not. It's the stupid people in the lab, the bad men, who started this to begin with. Well, it's gone now, but they're why our lives were messed up." "I know, but, I still feel this way, Survivor's guilt, possibly, for Eddie, and the others who didn't survive throughout the years," El confessed.

"I feel it sometimes, too."

It was normal, to feel this guilt. The guilt everyone felt. Trauma, PTSD. 

"I mean, especially after Billy's death, Max continued. "It goes away, once you finally realize, with some help from Vecna, that it isn't your fault. None of it is. We just happened to be the only people who did shit about it."

To be honest, who else could've done the job? El had the powers, the group had intelligence. Their own specials gifts were why they even defeated Vecna, mostly. "I still feel his presence, though," El confessed." Like he's some figment, Some shadow waiting to pounce." “Like how Will felt with the mind flayer? Max asked.

”Kind of, but not the same. Not entirely.”

How could she properly explain it? No one could really understand it. But they tried, truly. And that’s what mattered.

“Oh okay, Max said." If that’s the case then, we shouldn’t be stupid and just assume the worst.” "Or be reckless," El replied. "But still, I just.. need more time. Maybe I'm wrong. I could be wrong, for once."

"El-"

"Just, let's wait, She insists. The red-head nodded. 

Normally, El would've jumped onto the idea. But she still liked this life. The peace she hadn't felt in so long now. Usually, they only get 1 year of peace. Four years of it? Well, she's too used to it now.

Plus, her personality's changed.

"Besides, I like relaxing," El grins, lying further. "Me too," Max said. "This quietness, calmness, is new to me."  El then said," I think I might go out. Maybe on a walk or something."

"Got it," Max replied. She couldn't go out much, but she did. When she did, she enjoyed it. Max is much more extroverted than El. Even then, she's been limited. She then grabs her stuff, if she's going out, might as well be prepared.

She would've drove, but a walk seemed nice. Plus, with the sunny weather, It might take her mind off of things, Including the fact that her ex and friends' bully asked her out. Officially, too, she thought he might've just point blank asked to sleep with her, which might be his intentions, but then he'd be a moron. 

To a lot of the more “popular” or known girls at the school, she was a prude. A girl who didn’t want to get involved with the lifestyle of a college student. Well, uni student.

Sorry she wanted to just actually get through school and not sleep with everyone. She saw their judgment to be laughable. Anyway, most of the girls just liked judging, it’s in their nature. She'd been used to it, too, from the bullying in school. She's different, they target different people. But god, she thought this shit ended in high school, apparently not. 

In the street, it's busier than usual, but it's the city, so, she should've expected it. Something about the city calms her down, despite the buzz. Maybe it's the people, or just the vibes. It's different from Hawkins, less busy, small, quiet. It should be ideal, except the crazy shit kind of outdoes the idealism of it. El's sure though, there's similar shit happening in other states, but Indiana just happened to be this. 

She liked Cali, but other than that, never considered living in some new state. She just held onto the memories she had in her birth home, her birth state. She'd been born there. Besides, her mother... no matter the state she'd been in, she liked seeing her from time to time. They communicated mostly through the void, but still. El held onto the hope she'd be cured someday, even if it isn't possible. Her biological Aunt, though, is nice. 

nice enough.

there's still things she doesn't know, when it came to her family, she had little information. But it seemed everywhere she went, when she walked, she'd been reminded of the horrors she experienced, with Brenner, with the other scientists. 

It liked to torment her.

But, perhaps, it's the intention. They wanted her to never forget, to make sure she never could. Now, though, El wanted more than anything to forget the monsters. 

Chapter Text

Eleven stops at a café. It’s times like these she enjoys. She’s trying to find more positive moments but it’s difficult now. One thing she knows for sure, well, 98% sure of, is Henry didn't die. Well, not entirely. Perhaps his body did, but not him. It doesn't make sense, but why would he keep tormenting him? 

Ordering her drink, El waits. 

She deeply thinks. Maybe he took over someone. Like how the mind flyer flayed Billy. Like she could ever forget that. Now, that theory made sense. He didn't have a body, so his shadow  could've done something similar, but it couldn't be exactly the same. 

"You won't see it coming."

Those words made her shiver. She then gets her drink when it's ready. With her computer and drink, She decided then to get some work done for school. It's easy to do so, easily focused on it. 

She usually is one step ahead, but Henry's much more powerful than her, he's the original. She's powerful, much more than her peers back in the lab, but maybe not Kali. She could stop him once more. But for once, El would like to not have monsters on her back. It's tiring, on how they keep coming back. But she should've expected it. The line between the upside down and real world had been thinned since the 'earthquake'. 

Hawkins is cursed, but people don't know the full truth. 

Most people jump to the conclusions of Satanism, still blaming Eddie, despite him being gone. She never physically knew him, but his death was still sad on everyone. El focuses on her homework that she needs to get done. El didn't know what it really was, but it couldn't have been responsible. She'd seen who was responsible, so, she could confirm that. No one would believe her. Some people still believe in the whole, little Russian girl thing. She's neither of those things now. Plus, she's not bald, so- 

Computers were new, new to her, new to everyone, but it's nice technology. She figured it out quickly though.

She blinks constantly, she's growing tired randomly, and doesn't understand why. She's not drugged, they wouldn't put it in her drink. Not unless someone managed to do so, but she isn't like that, just tired now. 

She leaves, tired and going to sleep when she gets back, It wasn't like El intended to take a nap. However, she needed some rest, like with her powers. Hearing the door open and close, Max asked, "Did you have fun?" El nodded. "I'm just tired. I'm taking a nap." Closing her bedroom door, El quickly fell asleep when she plopped on her bed, the covers over her body.

Like she expected, her nightmare began. 

For once, she's not in the Lab. But she's somewhere worse, the upside down. In her mind. It never will be gone. She couldn't ever get rid of it, obviously, but she'd like to forget. She wished she could forget.

El knows, why she's here. It's where he is.

But, he's only the shadow. The voice in her mind.

"Why did I dream of this place?" El mutters to herself.  "Because of me," Henry whispers, somewhere near her. Or it's just completely in her head. That would mean she's insane. This wouldn't surprise her if it was the truth. 

Suddenly, a force pushes her onto the ground. Vines around her twist, wrapping around her. But an invisible force wraps around her throat. She's hopeless, completely bound, so there's no way to fight it off. She tries using her powers, but clearly, she doesn't have them in her dreams, or it's blocked. 

"We're alike, Eleven. You shouldn't deny it."

There isn't much weight on her neck, but if she messes up, it'll get stronger. She admittedly, feels the same way. But she isn't like him completely. She wouldn't have ever killed people, not like how he does.

"I'm not like you," She insisted. "Please, let me out of this fucked up dream." He doesn't let her go. He replies, echoing around her, "Now, you'll watch."

Suddenly, the vines pin her up like before, completely wrapping around her arms, legs, while she was pinned against the wall. She felt powerless.  It's not real, so El's not entirely terrified, she'll wake up eventually.  

"I'm dreaming," She keeps telling herself.

"Not for long."

Then, the world around her gets dark, like the void. So, it must be what it's like then. She doesn't understand why she's there, until in her vision, Mike comes up. El rolls her eyes." This dream just got stupider."

She could move, slightly, so it's a start. 

Mike's in his room, sleeping. Clearly. She thought he might be doing more than sleeping, so this surprises her. It doesn't fit his fuckboy narrative, but everyone sleeps. Why was she being shown this? To remind herself she shouldn't have dumped him? But everyone needed to cope on their own. Their co-dependency became unhealthy. 

Then, she sees the shadow. 

She could've blinked and missed it, but El paid attention. Every detail mattered. How did Mike not sense the shadow being there?

She couldn’t do anything though, crying for him to wake up wouldn’t do anything, and she was still held by the vines. "Mike! She yelled. Despite hating him, she still deep down loved him. She'd do anything to protect him, still. She hates herself for feeling that way, but she does. 

Like how it occurred with Will, but different, the shadow entered Mike.

She realized, He might've been right. 

He might be possessed now. 

She woke up then, frightened. The other dreams terrified her, of course, but this one was extremely different. El had stopped Henry before, she could do it again, right? But if he's in Mike's body, she couldn't bring herself to kill him. But there were other ways to get rid of someone in someone else's body. Will would know what to do, having experienced it firsthand. 

However, others who got rid of the flayer in his body could help too. El didn't know what to do, in the moment though. Pretend like everything was okay? 

Or tell them?

She didn’t want to get a bad idea to begin with. El knew then that things would get worse from this point onward. Therefore, she needed to decide whether or not to express her concerns to the rest of the group, not including Mike. 

Max, like usual, had been up before her. "Morning," El spoke up, entering the living room. "Morning," Max replied, grinning. "I'm going to guess, you got good sleep?" El asked. Max nodded."I slept well. Did you? You seem tired still."

"More nightmares."

Luckily, El had therapy today. She started seeing her therapist again, because of the nightmares. It might've been a form of trauma showing but El needed to see someone. They've only gotten worse. She thought they had begun to lessen, to finally let her live normally, but no, they got worse. El knew it'd get worse for her. She started this whole mess to begin with, It was only fair she got this. 

She deserved it, in her mind. 

"El, maybe try to take pills that reduce nightmares," Max suggested. "Maybe," El replied." I'll see my doctor on that." She nodded."I hope you do. But is something else bothering you? Something I should know?"

Should I lie? or tell her the truth? El thought. Telling the truth seemed to be the right thing to do, but lying could protect them, potentially. Still, El decided to tell her the truth. "I do fully believe Vecna's coming back," El admitted. Max didn't respond for a few seconds, and minutes. "Really?" She then said."How? We ended him entirely."

"I thought so too, but the nightmare I had last night... El began. "I saw something. His shadow. He entered Mike, like how the mind flyer, well, really him controlling it, had entered Will. But it felt more like...

"Possession?"

El nodded.

"Shit, he must be planning something bigger than before then," Max replied." Maybe trying to end the world again?" "If so, we need to really think this out, everyone's split up now," El said. 

"Right. I might be the first one on his target list, then. He nearly killed me before." 

El nodded. Since she survived, He's sure to go after her too.  El though, thought she might be the first on his list. He mentioned things to her, that made her think this.  Besides, she first sent him to the upside down, She'd killed him once more. It tied back to her, in everything. Of course, El did blame herself. But, he was the villain. It wasn't her fault he killed everyone in the lab, that she had made the right decision to end his reign before it even started.

So, El decided they needed to regroup, despite where they were all at in their lives. Except Mike could not know of this. If he's possessed, even in the smaller stages, it would be risky.

"Well, hopefully we're not fucked."

"For now, we're not."

El sighed. Of course this happened. They could never live ordinary lives.

- - 

They decided to wait to tell everyone. There wasn't much proof, plus, It'd only been her fucked up dreams. Though, if it does get worse, she's going to definitely tell them right away. Maybe even go home. But she doesn't want that to happen. El calmed herself down. She shouldn't jump to the worse case scenario, but she might have to. Though she did notice small things.

Mike's fuckboy lifestyle changed. Now, El hardly ever noticed, but she did because He didn't have girls piling around him. But, she didn't really mind, or care. It didn't bother her. Good for him. The lifestyle couldn't last forever.

No, it is what happened next that made her feel weird.

One night, while by herself with Max going out with Lucas, there was a knock on the door. El was intrigued at first. But it was a bit worrisome. El then approached the door, checking if someone was there. But no one was. Still, why would they show up to her door?

She opened the door. And she was shocked to see what she saw. Flowers and gifts. There’s a note. She knows who this is from. 

I'm sorry, Eleven. I know this won't make up for everything, but if you'd like to talk to me, I'm here. Love, Mike.

She gets the gifts and flowers. El is unsure. For one thing, Mike never really referred to her by Eleven. It had been El, Or Jane, in public. Still, people change. While she knew that Vecna had some sort of plan, probably possessed Mike, She didn't want to believe it.

Once sweet Mike, the boy she still loved, had some fondness for, had turned into someone she didn't like talking to.

"Quite the romantic," She muttered." It's not even Valentine's day." In Uni, Mike and his girlfriend officially broke up. Something she saw coming. They never last, but he didn't quickly find someone new, like he usually did. In fact, the opposite.

Putting the flowers in a vase with water, El looks at the gifts. 

Expensive. She didn't think he could've afforded them. Some of which, her favorite sweets. She smiled, briefly, remembering everything. Then she stopped. She couldn't let herself get caught up with that again. She wouldn't. She'd built this up, she wouldn't let it crumble down now. Still, the efforts were sweet. Not entirely, though. El knew the intentions couldn't be good. When were they ever?

Mike hadn't been this, giving, in their teenage relationship before. Sure, they were young then, but still. She thought this was slightly out of character for him. She didn't want to believe what she had seen, might've been true. 

Ex-boyfriends, El thought to herself, chuckling, still in denial. They do so much more when the relationship is over. 

Ignoring it for now, El went back to her movie, not expecting much more after that. 

"Oh, secret admirer?"

Max got home, now teasing her. "No, it's from Mike," El replied, chuckling. "Like It'll make me forgive him." Max laughed. "Men. They think gifts help everything. I guess mostly, they do, but you know."

El nodded."Yeah." She finished the movie by then, now just going in and out of sleeping. "It's super weird, and I'm trying to ignore my weird nightmares, but I think this one might've been real," El added. "I believe you, El, this is definitely out of character for Mike, but everyone changes," Max responded. "I still keep my guard up," El responded. 

They needed to.

Even when there isn't trouble, Darkness followed, everywhere. It's like their own curse. 

El must've fallen asleep on the couch, when she woke up, it's morning, but something feels different. She could feel it in her bones. Obviously, Max must've gone to bed, because she wasn't there either.

She didn't think too much of it. 

Especially since Max likes to sleep in. It was kind of her thing. They helped pay for this apartment with aid from what happened four years ago. That and other factors. But their main focus had to be school, El didn't mind. Paid apartment, while doing school didn't seem to be the worst thing in the entire world. Deciding to check on her just to feel safer, El knocks on Max's door. 

Hearing her typical groan, She sighs of relief. Everyone's fine. It could've been worse, much worse. So, El doesn't look further. She believed she was safe and fine in her bedroom.

But she could've been wrong. So El took one peak. There in bed, Max is sleeping calmly. El was just being paranoid. Although it was better to be than just dismissing her worries to being something else.

 She didn't want to not listen to the red flags.

But there wasn't proof, or evidence. El wouldn't look good if she just claimed this with no proof whatsoever. People, mostly, were see it to believe it, kind of folks. Well, the people around her were. El knew there were out of world things, but from experience.

But something dangerous was coming. And el wanted to make sure that it’d be preventable.

If only she had Kali, someone like her, to help her through this and stop Vecna. Together they might’ve been as powerful as him. But she didn't know. 008 might've still been out there, killing or what not. El didn't know. Or maybe she reformed and settled down. She was older than El. 

She got away.

Sometimes El thinks of Brenner admittedly. Who didn’t in that lab? Well being the sole survivor she thinks about it often. The way those kids were murdered brutally. She felt the guilt of surviving constantly.

Even though she hated 002, She didn’t think he deserved that fate that he got. It was brutal. Although the darker part of her that day felt satisfied by it, she got her revenge somewhat.

El would admit that she has some darkness in her, but not a lot. Not enough to convince her that what Vecna had done was justifiable. That she should’ve joined him then. At 8 years old, she already knew better.

Still. 

002 was cruel, from what she remembered, and she remembered plenty. She couldn’t forget how he hated her, how he tormented her in the lab along with some of the older subjects.

Max woke up about two hours later than usual, she must’ve been hungover. But El didn’t see her drink much the night before. She was just tired. So was El.  In complete honesty, She was tired from life.

Normalcy was something she sought for so long, but would need to accustom to. Even now, she's still not fully used to it. Maybe it's because every time, something turns it upside down. She never had the chance.

She was born unlucky.

The moment she entered the world, her life would have hardships. So now, when she had gotten control over her life, of course something happened to her then. "You slept in," El joked to Max, who replied, "I didn't get much sleep last night." "Sorry to hear that," El said. "It's fine, it's better than what you're experiencing," Max assured her. "No, yours isn't great either," El insisted.

Comparison didn't do anything, because there's no point. Trauma should never be compared.  El learned this in therapy, but she knew this already.  She learned many things, but there were things you couldn't learn in therapy, only from experience. She's wiser beyond her own years, but not by choice. 

New day, time to keep going, She thought. And pretend like we're normal. El preferred the name Jane, but to maintain the normalcy behind it, was hard to maintain. Still, Life needed to go on.

At school, El tried to ignore Mike, but he had been persistent. He seemed different, too. Dressed differently, had been nicer, sweeter to her, than he'd been in the past few years they went to uni.

"Mike, what changed?" El joked. He smiles. She liked his smile. "Well, I realized I've been an idiot, You deserve better," Mike explained. He's acknowledging it, El thought. Weird. Not that this should've been weird, but definitely not something he did before. Maybe when they were first together, the honeymoon phase, she was told what it was. 

"i'm glad you realized it, she replied. He chuckled."I needed that wakeup call." El nodded, agreeing. But still, it didn't feel right. She didn't know why, she should be happier that Mike's trying, he wants to do better for her. To her though, it didn't feel genuine. She knew people's intentions, mostly, she had learned how to read people better, but still was oblivious. 

But she pretended like she believed him, She pretended pretty well. "I don't entirely forgive you yet, but it'll take some time," El tells him. "I get it," He replied, understanding. 

She thought of the moment when she and Max went to Heather's to check up on her, the encounter with Billy had been eerie. Looking back now, It definitely had been Vecna possessing him.

Could it be the same with Mike, in this moment?