Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Corpse Spire was nice and peaceful as the sun was about to rise. The three Disassembly Drones inside it went about getting ready to head to bed, or go back home to the bunker.

J counted up all her tools and supplies for the ship she was fixing. V came out of the ship, now freshly cleaned and looking for her clothes. And N counted all of the stickers he collected to show his girlfriend Uzi later.

“I’ve got my jacket, my armband, and that phone Lizzy gave me… Wait a minute-” But As V checked all her belongings, she found out she was missing one in particular. “Where is it? Where the heck is it!?” She began tossing things from a storage compartment in the ship.

“Where is what?” J asked, stirring from her bolt counting.

“My scarf! My special red scarf! The one I got from Tessa!” V replied, ripping out the storage compartment to look for it. “I always put it in this storage locker when I’m wiping myself down!”

“Well I’ve never seen it.” J shrugged, returning to packing up her toolbox.

V turned towards her. A squinting, suspicious look crossed her visor and she hummed.

“Are you ready to swear to that with your hand placed on a box of company pens?!” V asked, pulling out said box.

“Of course I-! Wait a minute…” Now J was the one to get suspicious. “Are you implying something?” She stood up, getting into her girlfriend’s face.

“Me? I’m not implying anything!” V raised her hands on mock surrender. “Not to anyone who’d be willing to take a lie detector test!” She shouted right back, her vial swishing.

“You’re implying something!” J jabbed a finger into V’s chest, pushing her back.

“Oh, Heavens, no!” V turned her optics away, giving a smile. “It’s just that I was taking a bath and I put my scarf away, and you’ve been repairing the ship all night!” V pointed with narrowed optics.

“Are you accusing me of something!?” J shouted, her brows knitting in anger and her tail swishing.

“Well, it’s just there’s only three possibilities!” V said. “One; You stole it. Two; You stole it. Or three; You stole it!!” She listed on her fingers.

“I didn’t take your precious scarf!!” J hollered back, her fists balled up tight.

“I want to see all your weapons!” V shouted.

“What!?” J’s eye lights hollowed in offense as a hand came to her chest.

“I want to see empty gun barrels!” V added.

J stood there for a solid few seconds in seething. She then replaced her hands with some guns, firing at V’s feet. She shrieked and danced around the bullets.

“HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE!! Are you happy now!?” J yelled as her gunfire stopped.

“Y-! You can’t do that to me! I’m your girlfriend!” V shouted as her own eye lights went hollow.

“Well not anymore!” J waved off. “I’m breaking up with you! And I’m quitting this darn ‘team’!” She ripped off her armband, throwing it to the ground.

N squealed in shock, dropping all of his stickers. He ran over to drop to the floor, catching the armband before it could be dirtied on the ashen snow.

“I’m getting the heck out of here!” J stomped out of the spire, deploying her wings.

“J! You’re making a big mistake!!” N shouted as he followed after her.

“A mistake!? Ha! Yeah right!” J barked a laugh. “The only mistake I ever made was catching feelings for V!”

“You are, really!” N argued. “All couples fight sometimes, but you don’t need to go and break up with V!” He tried to smile in hope.

“Well, it’s too late now! And I know V won’t be taking me back anytime soon, either!” J turned her head away as she crossed her arms. “I might as well stop wasting my time with her! She’s got that darn Lizzy girl, anyway!”

“Well then, I guess I can’t stop you.” N sighed in defeat, scratching his cheek. “But it’s a cold, dark world out there. And hot, with the sun and all.” He told her.

“But just know that if you ever need help, any at all! You can come and find me. I’ll help you out!” He beamed at his ex-leader.

J only gave him a flat look.

“Anyways, I should be getting back to the bunker. I don’t want to worry Uzi by being out so late at day!” His tail began wagging, cheering right up.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” J scoffed. “But before you go, there’s been something I’ve been wanting to say ever since we first met back on Earth at the manor.” She turned back to him.

“N.” She spoke. “Goodbye. It sucked ever meeting you, idiot.” And she walked away.

“Goodbye to you too, J!! Be safe out there!” N waved after her.

J just ignored him, going off on her own to find somewhere else to live, since her girlfriend was stupidly territorial over her things. Not that J wanted to be near the Corpse Spire in the first place right now.

“The next time that you see me, I’ll be better than ever!” The female disassembler then threw her arms in the air.

Despite having an overheating issue and needing to feed off Worker Drone oil to live, J finds that living in the outside is still very, very, cold. On top of that, it’s extremely lonely out here.

But at least she can go unbothered when feasting on the meager scraps of worker parts she finds, scarfing down their oil like a wild animal.

“J? J, is that you!?” Yet someone’s familiar voice startles her.

J whips around and hisses at the newcomer. N gasps and walks up to her, shocked at the ratty, raggedy sight of her.

“J, it’s me, N! Your old teammate and the one guy you keep calling an idiot!” N smiles at her, barely perturbed by her unkempt appearance.

His ex-boss settles back down a little, coming to recognize him. Her vial stop swishing threateningly and her arches back lowers.

“N…?” She asks, slowly recognizing him again.

“Yeah, that’s it! You remember me now!?” Her happy-go-lucky ex-teammate asks, crouching down to better meet her optic level.

“I… I think so.” J nods, sitting on her rump.

“That’s good!” N beams at her. “Anyways, what’re you going out here!? Don’t you have some place to go back to? Aren’t you still living in the Corpse Spire?” He inquires with a cock of his head.

“I, uhm, m-moved out, kinda…” J mutters back, averting her gaze.

“Great! Must be taking some time away to relax, right?” N questions next, his tail wagging. “What have you been up to while out here? NO WAIT! LET ME TAKE A GUESS!!” N springs to his feet, startling J.

He takes a good, long look at his teammate. His optics squint and a hum comes from his voice box.

“Judging by all the dirt, the stinky smell, the tattered clothes, and messy hair…” He pauses to think some more. “You’ve started roleplaying as a raccoon!!” He ganders jovially.

“No, idiot!” J smacks him upside the head. “I’m freaking homeless! I’ve lost everything! My position, my home, my girlfriend, I have nothing anymore!” Tears spring to her optics.

“Oh. That makes more sense.” N hums. “Aww, but don’t worry! I can help you out!” He perks right back up again.

“Oh yeah? And how will you do that?” J asks with furrowing brows.

“You can just come live with me and Uzi! She’s going on vacation with her parents soon anyways, so it should be fine!” The male Disassembly Drone tells her. “I’ll help take care of you until you can get back on your peglegs again!”

“R- Really?” J asks, her shoulders slouching in relief.

“Yup! Just leave it to me!” N beams brightly at her, like the sun.

J squints at him, almost agitated again by the smile. But she doesn’t oppose the offer.

“Well, if you’re really sure…” She reluctantly agrees.

“Then come with me! You can spend a few days at me and Uzi’s place to gather up the courage to make up with V!” N takes her hand to bring her along.

Uzi gave N a hard glare as soon as he returned home with her arch-nemesis two tagged alongside him. N just smiled at her, giving her puppy eyes.

“Come on, Uzi! It’s just for a couple of days, promise! J’ll be gone and out of our house before you return!” N spoke, trying to convince Uzi to let his ex-leader stay.

Uzi’s glower hardened. Her optics flicked to J, all but cowering behind her boyfriend. She sighed and pinched her visor tiredly.

“Fine.” She spat. “But I want her gone by the time I return, got it?!” She pointed a finger against N’s chest.

“Yes, Ma’am!” N saluted right back.

Uzi let out another vent, her hand falling onto her hip. Her stare turned to J, who was taking a look around her house.

“You. Don’t cause any darn trouble, capiche? Or you’ll be losing more than just your girlfriend and home.” Uzi threatened with a point.

“Uh- R-Right.” J startled and nodded back.

Uzi let out another sigh in defeat. She ran her hand over her visor and picked up her bags.

“Just make sure not to destroy the house while I’m gone.” She told the two of them.

“We won’t! Don’t worry!” N laughed, taking her to the door.

“Mhm.” Uzi just hummed. “Just don’t destroy the house while I’m gone.”

“We won’t, don’t worry! You just focus on having a good time on vacation with your parents!” N dismissed her concerns with a chaste peck. “You have a good time, okay?!” He waved her off as she went out the door.

“I’ll try!” Uzi called back.

“Alright, J! You can sleep in my bed for tonight.” N tucked his ex-leader in, the woman having gotten all cleaned up now.

“Are you sure this is okay? Won’t Uzi be mad?” J wondered back with creased brows.

“Don’t worry about her! I can keep her wrath at bay!” N laughed. “Anyways, it’s not a big deal. I’ll make sure to burn the sheets afterwards.” He added.

“Mm… Okay. But just until I can get back together with V again. One day, two days tops!” J agreed, her tail giving a wave.

“Nonsense! Stay as long as you need to! Relationships can be hard to handle.” N waved her off. “Goodnight, J! Sleep tight!” He tucked her in before heading out of the room.

“Goodnight, N.” His ex-boss returned.

The house fell silent as N went into the living room to sleep on the couch, allowing the two occupants to get into Sleep Mode.

“I made breakfast~!!” N sing-songed loudly. “I figured you probably hadn’t eaten that well since you and V’s break-up, so I made lots of food to help you regain your strength!” He told the woman sitting in his bed.

“You did that? Just for me? And in bed as well?” J almost whined back, pulling on N’s feeble little heartstrings.

“Of course! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” He waved her off.

“Thank you, N. You really are a good friend.” J gave him a small smile.

“Aw! Don’t mention it!” N laughed. “Anyways, you should eat up! You need strength to make up with your girlfriend, after all!”

J nodded and sat up straighter. She took a few bites from some bowl of nuts, bolts, and oil.

“It’s really nice of you to help me in my time of need, even while your girlfriend doesn’t like it.” She spoke. “I’ll try not to be a burden.”

“It’s no trouble at all!” N brushed off her concerns with a smile. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything at all?” He inquired next.

“Ah, no that’s… Well…” J was about to shoot him down, but since N’s being so kind…

J doesn’t remember when the last time she got pampered was. But she’s glad N is gullible enough to do so.

From getting her hair done, to polishing her nails, to helping pick out some new clothes, and even to styling her hair, N did it all. And all for the sake of helping J “recover” after her break-up with her girlfriend.

As much-appreciated as it was, such chores were tiring nonetheless. Not to mention the regular house chores N also had to do whilst taking care of his so-called “friend.” And on top of that, his girlfriend was leaving for vacation soon, too.

But at the end of the night, N was able to finally hit the hay. He let out a tired sigh and tossed his pillow onto the couch.

“Geez… Who knew that taking care of a poor, broken spirit could be so much work?” N spoke into a phone. “Anyways, I’m super pooped. But it at least feels nice to help someone out!” He chuckled.

[Uh-huh. I’m sure it does.] Uzi hummed from the other side of the line. [Just don’t over do it. At this rate, you’re going to spoil her.] She advised.

“No I won’t! You worry too much, Biscuit!” N laughed again, tucking himself in on the couch. “But how’s your vacation been-?” He was about to ask.

“N! Can you get me a glass of oil!?” J called from further inside the house.

“Oh, can you hold on for a minute?” N asked his girlfriend, setting down the phone.

Uzi just sighed on the other line. N got the oil and jogged to J’s room, turning on the light.

“Here you go, J! Goodnight!” N smiled at her, turning off the light to leave.

“Thank you.” Was J’s simple response as she took it.

N turned off the light and returned to the couch. He just picked up his phone again when-

“N! Can I get a couple more pillows?” -J asked for something else.

The male drone set down the device again, heading back to J’s room.

“Is this enough?” He asked.

“Yes, that’s plenty. Thanks.” J nodded.

N hummed in affirmation and left the room. He made it back to the couch when J called one last time.

“N! You forgot to turn out the light!”

N held in his sigh and went back to her room.

“Thank you.” Was all J said.

“No problem!” N told her.

As he went back to the living room, he crashed into just about everything. Once he made it to his temporary resting place, N fell right onto his face plates. Finally, he let out his tired groan.

[You know, I’m very positive J is what everyone likes to call a ‘freeloader.’ Someone who just takes advantage of others.] Uzi spoke.

N gasped, lifting himself onto his elbows.

“Uzi! J is not a freeloader!” He retorted. “And she would never take advantage of me!”

[Sure she wouldn’t…] Was all Uzi said.

Chapter Text

J’s stay had gone on longer than just a “few days tops.” Her stay had become so long that Uzi had returned from vacation and scolded N to hell and back for giving her their bed.

On top of that, he kept on making excuses for her despite getting more and more worn out from her constant demands, like “She’s just getting her confidence back,” or “She’s going to apologize soon,” or something of the like.

But at the end of it all, N physically dragged himself back from his once-bedroom into the guest bedroom, all pooped after yet another full day and night of running around.

“‘They’ll make up soon.’” Uzi rocked her head as she mocked her boyfriend, reading a manga.

“I KNOW SHE HASN’T BEEN TRYING TO MAKE UP WITH HER GIRLFRIEND, YOU DON’T NEED TO RUB IT IN!!” N shouted back.

He then flopped his head back onto the floor. Uzi rolled her optics, adjusting her reading glasses.

“N!! WHERE’S MY OIL LEMONADE!?” J yelled from the couple’s bedroom.

“Coming, J!” N called from the floor.

Hoisting himself to his tired, aching feet, N prepared the cup and jogged over to J’s room. She kept calling him as he ran, getting more and more irritated. But just as N got through the door, J made him pause.

“And why aren’t you in uniform!?” She pointed with angry brows.

N stared at her for a solid second. He backed out of the room. A few seconds later, he returned in his “mandated maid uniform” J imposed on him.

“It’s about time you got here, liability!” J huffed, the bed she was occupying nothing less than a total mess.

“Here you go, your royal majesty.” N remarked with a bit of sass, his tail waving.

“I can’t drink that!” J pointed to the held cup.

“And why not?” N asked back, his digital brows starting to furrow.

“Just look at it!” J retorted.

“What about it? It’s exactly what you asked for.” N returned, his vial beginning to swish.

“That cup has an odd number of lemon-flavored computer chips in it! I can’t drink anything with odd numbers!” J pointed out before crossing her arms.

“Fine, then I’ll just take them out!” N thrust his hand into the cup.

“NO! NO!! It’s already been contaminated by the odd amount of chips! It won’t work!” His ex-leader all but freaked out.

N took his hand from the cup, giving a hum. His brows furrowed even deeper as a genuine frown formed on his face plates. Even his free hand balled up into a fist.

“I guess that’s two things in this house that ‘Won’t. Work.’” He spat at the end.

“Then why are you standing around here? Go fix them!” J hissed right back.

N stared at her in a silent seethe, his hand gripping so tight onto the cup that it broke entirely.

“I said ‘two things that WON’T. WORK!’” N emphasized further, leaning towards J’s face plates.

“You know what? I’ve changed my mind.” J turned her head away and crossed her arms. “I want some soup instead!”

N had to take a moment to hold it together.

“Okay! Don’t. Move!” He told the female robot, his heels clicking on the floor as he left the room. Turning around had revealed the uniform was only one-sided.

J waited for a few minutes. N came right back in, all cheery all over again.

“Here you go, buddy! I made it special.” He ground out at the end, handing J her steaming bowl.

[GO MAKE UP ALREADY] Some metal scrap bits spelled out.

J screamed and flung the soup away from herself.

“Condensed soup from a can?! Disgusting!” J huffed with a shake of her head. “I’ve lost my appetite! Go and fetch me something to read instead!” She waved her arm like she was royalty ordering a peasant around.

“Oh, okay! How about this?!” N thrust a tablet into her face.

Multiple articles about ‘how to apologize’ and ‘how to make up with loved ones’ were plastered all over the screen. J recoiled and gasped, afraid of such things. Again, she tossed the item away.

“Get that away from me! I don’t want all that blue light to damage my optics! Are you insane?!” She hollered in offense.

“Haha! You know, when you threw that tablet right from my hands, it reminded me of something a friend of mine did right after, TO HER GIRLFRIEND!!” N hollered, his hands gripping the bed’s blanket tight.

An alarm went off, making N have to move to turn it off for his “friend.”

“You know what that means! It’s time for my stories!” J clapped, her expression turning prideful. “Hurry up, idiot! They won’t stop while you laze around!” She rushed N further.

He just remained silent, bringing over a TV on a wheeling cart. He handed J the remote and let her flick it on. Light filled the screen as a hand-drawn background showed up. Two robo-roaches “walked” onto the screen, confused as to why they were being held.

“Hey, buddy, where you goin’?” One robo-roach asked with a fake deep voice.

“To go apologize!” The other replied.

“You’re going to apologize?!” The first roach on the left asked in shock. “To who? Why?”

“I’m going to apologize to my girlfriend! Because I was being a total jerk to her and we ended up breaking up!” The robo-roach on the right spoke.

“That’s horrible!” The left robotic bug spoke. “Say, I’ve been meaning to apologize to my friend, too! Do you think you could help me?” He asked, bobbing up and down.

“Of course! It’s actually quite easy! Especially if you’re a killer robot with pigtails!” Said the bug on the left, also bobbing.

“Thanks so much! I’m going to try out a few methods so I can stop mooching off my friend’s kindness so he can get back to his own life!!” N’s voice returned to normal, the anger showing through.

J growled as her vial began to swish around. She tried clicking on the remote, but the channel wouldn’t change.

“N! The remote is broken! Come and fix it!” She hollered, dropping the remote onto “her” bed. “This isn’t even my show anyway!”

“I’ve got a better idea!” N tossed the empty TV away, along with the roaches. “Why don’t I call someone who can help fix it?! You wanna know why?!” The male robot asked, grasping at J’s shirt collar.

“Because when I need someone to fix something, I go and apologize to them if I fought with them so that we can become friends again and not leave our relationship in ruins!!” He ranted, heaving at the end as his eye lights went hollow.

J stared right back at N with shock for a moment. Her gaze soon squinted and narrowed, something more peeved crossing her metallic features.

“What are you saying?” She asked.

N blew up the front door of his home, hauling J above his head and screaming in fed-up rage as he bolted down the halls, heading for the outside.

“And why the heck should I have to babysit some darn kids? What have those little tykes ever done for me?” V asked into her phone, talking to lizzy.

“V!! You want your scarf back so bad?!” N burst into the ship, tossing the woman’s phone away. “Then take it! Now can you get back together with J!?” The aforementioned item was tossed onto the console.

V picked up the scarf, zooming in on her HUD and checking the stitching. She soon tossed it away with a scoff.

“That isn’t my scarf!” She said.

“Then have some more scarves! I’ve found plenty of them!” N yelled, tossing more red scarves from a bag.

“You can’t just replace my old scarf, N!” V waved away the other articles of clothing. “And I’ll never forgive that thieving, company bootlicker for stealing it- URKK!!!” N’s hands clutched tight around her throat.

“Listen you emotionally-suppressive, fraudulent psychopath!” N lifted his teammate right from her seat, holding her in the air by her neck. “J has been living in me and Uzi’s house driving us crazy! AND YOU’RE NOT GONNA GO AND MAKE UP WITH HER ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID SCARF!?!?!” He bellowed as his optical lights hollowed out, shaking V all the while.

In his wild shaking of her, something fell from V’s pocket. N dropped her right on her butt, now distracted with the unknown, scrawny, deep red item.

“What’s that?” He pointed with a curious wave of his tail.

V gasped and shot to her feet.

“My first scarf!!” She cried in joy, hugging the thing and spinning around. “Oh, Scarfy! How I’ve missed you so much!!” She began kissing the sentimental item.

“That’s a scarf??” N asked as a brow quirked down. Clearly the thing had seen far better days.

“I’ve had this scarf for a long time, N.” V retorted.

“So… If you had the scarf, that means J never stole it!” N’s smile quickly returned. “Does that mean you two can finally make up and get back together! And that J can return to the ship!?” He asked in growing enthusiasm.

“Of course! Just let me and my precious scarf have some time alone.” V waved him off, returning to smooching her item.

N yelled in pure, unbridled joy, clicking his heels on the way out.

“Well, J, it’s nice to be together again.” V spoke, leaning on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“It’s nice to have you back.” J returned, rubbing the other woman’s arm.

“Yep. I mean, I’m sure you didn’t mean to misplace my scarf, either.” V smiled.

“What the-?! Are you trying to imply something, V?!” J whipped her head to her, becoming offended.

“Well, I’m just saying you must’ve put the scarf in my jacket pocket! Scarfs don’t just crawl into drones’ pockets.” V shrugged back.

“Are you accusing me of something!?” J jabbed at her chest, her tail starting to wave angrily.

“The way I see, there’s only three possibilities-” N stared at the ensuring argument with an utterly blank look.

He took off his hat, revealing the maid uniform headband. He then took off his coat, revealing the maid uniform dress underneath.

Looks like Uzi will be making him sleep on the couch for a while.