Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Weiss hadn’t thought much of it the first time she’d seen it. A small pizzeria was hardly her choice of a usual hang out after all. 

The signage was cute, colorful with a few murals that looked hand drawn, and amusing, but beyond that there was little to even show it was a diner save for an older woman sitting under at a small table with an equally small umbrella deployed to keep the sun off her form as she gleefully consumed what appeared to be pizza. 

Weiss took note of it, Mission Impastaball, and its unique view of the waterfront, which likely meant it was valuable real estate if nothing else, and went on her way thinking no more on it. 

She had classes after all, and Patch U, home of the Beowolves, didn’t accept slackers in its programs, which meant she needed to be very nose to the grindstone. 

Sure her family could likely just purchase her an honorary diploma, or get her a job, if she even wanted to work, but this was something she wanted to do on her own merits. 

Not even her father could gainsay her choice, despite the fact that it was about as far from Atlas as you could get. Patch held an exceptional reputation, and she had earned her way in. 

Her graduating from Patch would be yet another feather in his cap, and so, despite how he might wish otherwise, he had no real reason to stop her from going. 

She was sure he would demand regular progress reports, and watch her grades like a hawk, but she was just as sure she could easily manage that. 

He would likely also hound her about doing something extracurricular to keep up the Schnee name, which considering he married into the family was an amusing point on its own, but she already had a few clubs she was looking into to take care of that little future sticking point. 

“I require sustenance,” Ilia complained as she dramatically flopped into her girlfriend's lap as the group of friends studied. 

Emerald rolled her eyes, but fondly set her work to the side so she could properly cuddle, and pay attention to her girlfriend. “Dying are we?” 

“Wasting away to skin, and bones,” Ilia agreed with a whine. 

“What does everyone want? Since you know Miss Moneybags is paying for it?” Emerald asked as she poked Ilia in the ribs. 

“I am not!” Ilia declared sounding affronted that her girlfriend would ever make her ‘pay’ for anything.  

“I meant Weiss,” Emerald clarified in amusement.

“Oh then I want-”

“If I’m going to be paying for it, and I have yet to say that I am,” Weiss interjected, “then surely I should at least be able to pick the location?” 

Ilia grumbled, and puffed out her cheeks cutely, but it’s not like she could counter that. Free food was free food after all. 

“What are you feeling?” Emerald asked her girlfriend who shrugged in that helpless and adorable way she had. 

“Hungry.”

“Riveting answer as always, thanks,” Emerald responded in amusement. 

“Pizza maybe? Salad? Pasta? Something? I’ll eat just about anything at this point,” Ilia offered. 

“Pizza doesn’t sound too bad,” Emerald admitted with a considering hum as she shifted her legs a bit so they wouldn't fall asleep. “What do you guys think?” 

Weiss, having been thoroughly amused watching the byplay, was caught off guard for only a moment. “I suppose that’s fine. Any preference on where?” 

“I’ve always liked MI,” Jessica offered as she looked up from her science textbook she’d been sharing with her boyfriend. 

“Oh yeah. They have a lot of great stuff there, and the price is pretty good too. Middle of the road on the cost, but the food is top notch.”

“MI?” parroted Weiss as the name sounded unfamiliar to her. 

“Right, sorry. It’s on the waterfront area. Mission Impastaball . It’s most known for the pizza, a family recipe for the breadsticks, and dough I think,” Jaune offered as he looked at Jessica who nodded that he was right. 

“Yeah,” Emerald cut in with a snap of her fingers. “I think it has salads, sandwiches, pastas, and other stuff too,” Emerald declared as she rifled through her backpack for a moment, which caused Ilia to be displaced with a pouty harumph.

After a few moments, she pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper that had clearly seen better days, but was legible nonetheless.

“Do we order for delivery, or just walk over?” Weiss asked as Emerald did her best to unroll the scrunched up paper. 

Emerald shrugged as she squinted at the menu in front of her. “It’s just a few blocks so either is fine. Might be nice to get a change of view, and stretch our legs.”

With that, it was decided fairly quickly to leave the coursework for the time being, and walk over. Weiss was hopeful she might find a new place to study. 

Coco’s had the best coffee she’d had outside her own home, but in a college town was often rather packed with loud, obnoxious, and sometimes smelly students. She’d had to turn down more than one would-be suitor who wouldn’t take a hint before, and while Coco was more than willing to step in she hadn’t had to just yet thankfully.   

She was perfectly happy taking her coffee to go, even if she rather liked the fashion savvy young woman who ran the place. If this place turned out to be as good as advertised then she had no issue adding it to her rotation of places she ordered food from. 

She could cook, but schooling took up enough of her time, and her budget was large enough that eating out wasn’t a huge hardship. At least for now. 

A short walk in the temperate climate, which Weiss greatly preferred over the frigid winds of her home, and they had arrived outside the small pizzeria. It was essentially as Weiss saw it last save there were a few more people out front with various foods that weren’t just pizzas, and the old woman had a table partner she was angrily jabbing a finger at. 

Weiss decided she didn’t want to know. 

She was in the middle of the group, but she appreciated the wave of cold refreshing air that greeted her upon entering. 

It wasn’t that hot out, but it was still nice. 

Seeing a woman with a bob cut, and amber eyes gesture for them to follow her, they did so as Ilia’s eyes followed the woman very closely even as Emerald elbowed her side none too gently. 

“I didn’t know you stopped working at the campus bookstore, Blake,” Jessica spoke up as the aforementioned Blake handed over menus to the table, and gave a lazy smirk. 

“Didn’t. Being paid to fill in for a shift. Means I don’t have to care. Anyway, flag me down when you’re ready to order,” Blake said with a shallow wave, and then she vanished. 

“That’s…not the best customer service I’ve ever experienced,” Weiss spoke up. 

“Speak for yourself,” Ilia remarked as Emerald pinched her. “What? You said we could look, or talk about a thi-” Ilia was cut off as Emerald flushed, and pinched her lips shut. 

“Do you not remember the words private conversation?” Emerald hissed as the other three at the table tried, very hard, to not laugh out loud. 

“Already going for an exception?” Jessica teased as she leaned into Jaune who put his arm around her. 

“Braver than I’d ever be,” Jaune agreed as he traded a smitten look with Jessica. They were adorable, but how they hadn’t noticed the upper class woman on the track team had been eyeing them she had no idea. 

She wasn’t getting in the middle of it though. They could deal with that landmine themselves. 

Weiss herself was of several minds of it. Until the last year of high school she’d merely assumed she was straight, and it was only after a full year of dating a few different men that hadn’t progressed beyond light pecks, and hand holding she’d realized that perhaps it wasn’t that she hadn’t found the right man, but more that there wasn’t a right man for her. 

She’d seen others kiss more deeply, and heard stories about going farther, but when she tried to imagine it had felt a bit queasy when she imagined a man with her. To that end she was keeping her options open. She wanted to slowly work on trying to understand her preferences. 

No need to rush into anything, and make a fool of herself, or misread a situation after all. 

“The sandwich sounds kind of good,” Jaune muttered as he looked over the menu, "but so does the spaghetti.”

“And what does your starving body tell you?” Emerald asked in amusement as Ilia hummed. “About the food.”

“Pizza I think. And bread sticks.”

“Why don’t I get a pizza, or two for all of us, and you can get the rest to go for dinner,” Weiss offered with a nod toward the other two. 

“I mean we can chip in. That’s a lot!” Jessica interrupted her as Jaune nodded, his hand going toward his wallet. 

“You can take care of the tip,” Weiss offered generously as Jessica pouted, but did nod as Jaune gave her a grateful look. She knew the two only attended on a scholarship that didn’t really include much beyond the courses, and half the books, which meant these sorts of excursions weren’t something they could really afford too often. 

Still, they were good friends, and she enjoyed their company. Especially since they insisted on paying, and neither took advantage of her, as Emerald would say, ‘deep pockets’. 

“Only if you’re sure,” Jessica said as she agreed, and leaned back into Jaune. Cute couple. 

A final few items were selected as Weiss flagged down the ‘waitress’ who sauntered back over, looking equal parts tired, and amused as she came up to the table. 

“Decided?” Blake asked as her nose twitched in amusement. 

Drinks, and food order placed. Blake continued glancing toward Weiss for some reason as she left the group. 

“What’s her problem? You get in a fight with her?” Emerald asked. 

“I don’t think we’ve ever met,” Weiss commented lightly as she tried, and failed to place the young woman in her mind. 

Conversation soon turned away from whatever Blake’s issue might, or might not be with Weiss, and toward the various classes they were taking, and impressions of the teachers. 

“Port is fine?” Ilia offered, sounding unsure herself. “You can at least sleep in class, and he won’t care.”

“Do any of them care?” Jaune asked. 

“I doubt it,” Jessica offered. “We’re adults, and basically paid to be here, if we want to sleep, or not show up to class then you know,” she shrugged as she looked at the small book she’d brought with her. 

“Oh Boolean!” a peppy voice from behind them sounded out as Weiss turned to look at…someone not Blake. Someone very, very, very not Blake. 

Ginger hair that went to mid back, freckles, lovely green eyes, and a kind smile. Yes, this confirmed it. Weiss was very gay, and she might have found the perfect woman. Even the small name tag with the name Penny on it only confirmed the woman’s perfectness.

“I can’t believe you left me behind,” another voice complained as Weiss was forced to reassess her previous statement. 

Toned arms on display with the short sleeve shirt, dark hair with red tips, entrancing silver eyes. Yes Weiss was certainly gay in her own mind, and she very much had a type. Both of them were right in front of her, and the name tags reading Ruby, and Penny told her what she needed to know.

A quick glance at the fingers confirmed many many things for her, but her higher cognitive powers had left her at the moment. 

“Oh yeah,” Jessica remarked. “I'm taking an intro to computer science class. I didn’t know if it would help with building my own, but you know, credit hours.”

“Ah, understandable. You see booleans are used for true, and false statements, or what are essentially logic conditions, and to help with program flow. They can also be used as an expression to evaluate a Boolean value, for example if x is greater than five is true if x is greater than five in that way…”

“We lost her,” Ruby remarked fondly as she set down the pizza, and bread stick baskets before taking the drinks from Penny’s arm, and passing those, and the other food out. 

“That happen often?” Emerald asked as she nodded toward Penny who was quickly delving much deeper, probably far too deeply into the realm of computer science than Jessica could follow. 

“Sometimes,” Ruby admitted, “but I can get the same way when I’m into something. Gimmie a sec.”

Ruby leaned over, and gently tapped Penny on the shoulder three times which caused the woman in question to blush prettily and straighten up. 

“Apologies. I get carried away,” Penny apologized to the table before she turned to beam at Ruby. “Thankfully, I have Ruby to keep me on track.” 

“No problem gorgeous,” Ruby said, waving off the thanks as she turned back to the table. “Let us know if you need anything else, alright?” 

With a gentle pull, and a giggle Ruby, and Penny almost skipped away from the table like a pair of fae vanishing into the back.

There was silence for a few moments before it was broken by a simple sentence. 

“I bet her mom’s hot.”

Chapter Text

“Are you really going to let her talk about them like that?” Weiss asked Emerald who was looking at her girlfriend with amusement more than anger. 

“You’ve met her. If I got mad at everything that popped out of her mouth I’d be exhausted,” Emerald responded with a grin. “Besides, she’s probably right.”

Ilia beamed, and instantly put out her hand for a high five Emerald granted, as Jessica giggled from across the table even if she tried to hide it behind a menu. 

Ilia’s eyes then grew canny as she turned to Emerald who rolled her eyes. “I said one, and I meant it, or do you think one of them?” Emerald asked trailing off. 

Weiss had no idea what that meant, but Ilia clearly did as she slumped. 

“Stay strong for Blake,” Jessica joked as Ilia nodded fiercely. 

“Thanks,” Emerald sarcastically thanked the other woman who beamed back at her in response. 

“I…who are they?” 

“Penny, and Ruby. Didn’t you read the name tags?” Emerald snarked as Weiss tossed the small paper ball from her straw toward her irritating friend. 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Weiss groused. 

“I think Penny is from Atlas like you are,” Jaune murmured as he adjusted his hold on Jessica slightly to rub at his chin. 

“Ruby is the owner’s daughter, the youngest one, but she’s close to our age. I think she’s actually from Patch. If she takes classes online, or in person, and just commutes home we probably wouldn’t really see her all that often,” Jessica postulated.

“I think that might be Weiss’ problem,” Ilia joked impishly as the others all smiled, or laughed openly. 

“I’m not taking that from you of all people,” Weiss retorted waspishly as Ilia raised an eyebrow, and then pointed excitedly toward Emerald to make her point, complete with waggling eyebrows. 

“Please, I remember how pathetic you were before you got together,” Weiss countered. 

“But we did get together,” Ilia said with a very self satisfied grin on her face as Emerald watched on in amusement. 

“Yes, you’re fortunate Emerald enjoys desperation.”

“Hey! I am a fine catch! A gloriously bodacious babe, right Emerald?” Ilia asked her girlfriend who raised an eyebrow, and took a purposefully long, slow drink of her soda. 

“She does have a point though,” Emerald said at last, not answering Ilia’s question for her own amusement as said girlfriend dramatically flopped onto the table like a deflated balloon.  

“It took her nearly three months to get you to notice her, and go on a date,” Weiss reminded her friend. 

“You’re right,” Jaune agreed with a nod. “That isn’t fair. I bet Weiss could do it faster, right Jess?” 

“Oh for sure. She can totally do it in two weeks!” 

“There are two of them, and they’re already together,” Emerald reminded her as Jessica hummed. 

“Fair," the spunky brunette agreed with a head bob. "A month then.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Weiss asked, her face burning as red as the tomato sauce on the pizza at her friend's ‘unseemly’ bet.

“Oh sure. You can just admit I’m the superior lesbian,” Ilia said snootily as she crammed half a breadstick into her mouth, and then grabbed a cheese cup to take a lick from, to Weiss’ utter horror. 

“I’ll make sure she only uses that one,” Emerald promised the others. 

“You’re ok with her eating like that?” 

“It has other benefits,” Emerald said mysteriously as Jessica flushed, and looked at Jaune who looked confused at the byplay. 

“You should have a cheese cup,” Jessica declared, offering one to Jaune as Emerald broke out in loud guffaws. 

Her friends were deviants. 

“What do I get if I win?” Weiss asked. 

“Aside from a pair of girlfriends, you mean?” Ilia asked. 

“Yes, I wasn’t the one that decided to do this. You challenged my honor, in some way,” Weiss hedged as she vaguely flipped a hand to try and articulate her point. 

Emerald, as always sensing a chance to make a lien on a dare, or bet was ready in an instant. 

“Let’s talk about forfeits, and conditions,” Emerald began as she set her pizza slice to the side. “Conditions are you going on a date with the two of them, and being their girlfriend. No home wrecking.”

Weiss nodded seriously, she’d never forgive herself for doing that. 

“Alright,” Ilia agreed with a nod. “Although, if you did then we could pick up one for our ow-” Ilia whined as Jessica had bounced a small plastic knife off her forehead. 

Emerald nodded at her friend in thanks. “Right, so more than a date, and you can’t just offer to pay them to date you.”

Weiss nodded again as that was fair before she asked her question. “I can pay for the date though?”

Emerald looked at Jessica who shrugged, and made a so-so motion with her hand after looking at Jaune. 

Emerald turned back to look at Weiss. “Within reason. Paying for ice skating tickets, or a movie is one thing, but deciding they need new cars for the date is clearly out.”

Weiss took a bite of her pizza, it was excellent, and nodded. Again that seemed reasonable. 

“So you just need to go on a date, and get them to invite you to join them in the relationship,” Jaune mused. 

“And you fail if you don’t get both, or only one of those things,” Ilia piped up as her hand inched toward the plate of pasta that was unclaimed. 

“Right,” Jaune agreed before he grabbed the plate Ilia was reaching toward to pull toward Jessica who beamed at him, and stuck out her tongue at Ilia. 

“So what do I want if I win?” Ilia mused. “Chocolate. A closet full. At least.”

“Uh-huh,” Weiss said, clearly not taking her seriously. 

“And a tattoo that says 2nd class lesbian on your chest, that I get to inspect. Thoroughly.”

Emerald flicked Ilia’s ear at that.

“Too much right, sorry,” Ilia apologized as she deflated.

“No, you didn’t include me in the inspection you twit.”

The others at the table stared in shock as Ilia looked at Emerald, seeming to be even more enthralled than usual. “...I love you. You’re so right. Forgive me this trespass!” Ilia declared dramatically. 

“No,” Weiss said simply, shooting her down instantly. “If I can’t get those two I still have standards, and you pawing at me isn’t going to work. Especially because what could you possibly offer me that could match that if I win?” 

Emerald pursed her lips likely realizing that Weiss had a very good point. Even just a closet of chocolate taken to mean ‘a lot of it’ was a decent amount of money. 

Forget getting Weiss to get a tattoo, that wasn’t happening, and Emerald held no hopes it was, not that she really wanted that for her anyway.

“What do you want?” Jessica asked, chipping in, and hoping to get a fun bet going. 

“An IOU for whatever from each of you, and no complaining about what I want with it, or trying to weasel out of it,” Weiss put forward her terms glaring at Ilia when she mentioned weaseling out of it. 

“We’re splitting some of that chocolate if you win then,” Jaune bargained with the pair of women across from him, and Jessica. 

“You’re not splitting the inspection,” Ilia glared as Emerald cuffed her on the back of the head. Everyone ignored Weiss proclaim there wouldn’t be an ‘inspection’. 

Jessica began writing the ‘contract’ such as it was, only pausing to shovel a bite of pasta into her mouth from time to time as Jaune cutely dabbed a stray bit of sauce from her face since she was too in the zone to notice. 

After a few more minutes of eating she pushed it toward Emerald who signed, who then passed it to Ilia who took a few minutes to pretend to read it, which would have been more convincing if she wasn’t looking at her phone before she made a small notation she showed to her girlfriend who rolled her eyes, and counter signed. 

The contract then slid over to Weiss who pursed her lips as she looked at it. “What’s the time frame?” 

“A month?” Jaune asked, and Weiss rephrased it.

“I mean when does it start, today is already partly over, and we all have important tests this week.”

“Maybe Monday?” Jessica offered. “As long as you don’t come back here, or try to get an advantage.”

Weiss nodded, and made the date changes, and her pen hovered over a blank spot. “Nothing today counts if we see them again?” 

“You didn’t know they’d be here so I’d say you’re good on that front,” Emerald offered in a rare moment of letting someone have an out. 

Weiss signed with a flourish then as Jessica, and Jaune tendered their signatures. 

“Hah! I told you she wouldn’t read it!” Ilia said proudly. 

Emerald passed a single lien over to Ilia who pocketed it with a massive grin. 

“Read what?” Weiss asked. 

“Nothing,” Ilia sing songed as Jessica took the contract as the neutral third party, and folded it up to put into her pocket. 

“It’s nothing bad really,” Jessica promised her as Weiss grumbled for not even thinking Ilia wouldn’t pull that.

“I thought she was fixing a spelling mistake, or something equally minuscule.”

“Nope,” Jaune added as he lightly dipped a bread stick into the cheese sauce even as Jessica kept trying to get him to use his tongue instead. 

It was cute if she ignored the implications. 

“Good luck on that,” Blake’s voice said from beside Weiss who barely held in a shriek at how the woman had seemed to just appear right next to her. 

Blake’s face said she knew, and found it hysterical. 

Weiss wished her nothing but the worst, and hoped Ilia’s plan to seduce her somehow worked so she could deal with her for the rest of her life. 

“I thought you’d left,” Weiss muttered as Blake’s smirk widened slightly. 

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Ilia remarked from beside Emerald who coughed slightly so she changed her wording. “We’re so glad you didn’t.”

Honestly? Those two were made for each other. Emerald was just as bad at Ilia, she just hid it better. 

“I’m sure,” Blake responded, eyes on Weiss. “I heard about the wager, and so I made sure to send them home early. I’ll take the extra time on the clock, and we wouldn’t want you to have to worry about talking to them. You can thank me later.”

Weiss glared at her now least favorite person employed at Mission Impastaball. 

“Thank you,” Weiss ground out, and she could almost feel her teeth grinding against one another as she tried to keep her temper in check. “Did you have a reason for being here?” 

Blake hummed as she tapped her finger against her chin, purposefully drawing out her answer. Weiss wasn’t going to give her a tip. Nor was she going to let Jessica, or Jaune do it. 

“Refills?” 

“I’m super thirsty,” Ilia promised as she held out her glass. 

“I’m sure. Weiss seems to be as well,” Blake teased as she poured more soda into Ilia’s glass, and then Jaune’s when he also lifted his up. “Refill Weiss?” 

“No. Thank. You.”

“Suit yourself. Here’s some complimentary mints,” Blake said, leaving a handful on the table as she turned and walked away after putting the face down check in front of Weiss. Emerald, and Ilia’s eyes remained glued to the woman’s backside as she walked away.

“Definitely high. Like an eight?” Jessica offered as Jaune hummed. 

“Seven and a half. Yours is a nine,” Jaune assured her as she beamed at him before giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

Weiss opened her mouth, but thought better of it. They were all screwing with her, they had to be. 

For now she’d just focus on classes, and then come next Monday? She hoped those two were wearing a second pair of socks because she’d be charming the first pair right off!

Chapter Text

Classes, and testing had gone well enough, and while she had yet to receive her grades for them she was more than confident she’d passed, although...had she gotten the answer to question seventeen right? 

Really it could have been a trick question when you thought about it, and more than lik-

“Thinking of anything interesting?” Jessica asked as she browsed the movies on offer for their ‘hang out’. 

Really it was supposed to be all of them, but Jessica was the only one who hadn’t canceled. Jaune still had a practical to do that had been rescheduled so it had left just the two women, who for lack of anything better to do, had decided to watch a movie, and hang out. 

Ilia and Emerald were celebrating, likely in a deviant and debaucherous manner knowing them. The lucky bints. 

“Just coursework, and the tests,” Weiss answered honestly as she smoothed out her shirt, and put her attention back on the popcorn that was on the stove. She lifted the lid, and nodded. Still kernels.  

“I’m sure you did fine, Weiss,” Jessica assured her, nodding cutely as she selected a movie for a ‘maybe’ pile, and continued glancing around. 

“How about you?” Weiss asked to be polite, and because the popcorn remained unpopped, her most terrible nemesis, non popped popcorn. 

“Fairly confident, which means I’m sure I failed them all,” Jessica joked as she shared an amused grin with her friend. 

A question nagged at the back of her mind, and seeing as they were alone Weiss felt compelled to ask it. 

“Can I ask why, or how you, and Jaune started dating?” 

Jessica blinked, clearly not having expected that, but shrugged gamely. “If you want. It’s not that interesting.”

“Only if you don’t mind,” Weiss made sure to emphasize.

“It’s fine. We’d known each other actually in middle school. I was in his class for a semester before my family moved, and thought he was cute, but in that younger kid way where you don’t really know what else to do,” Jessica admitted with a small grin as she looked at the back of a movie, and shook her head before putting it back into place. 

“We ended up moving away, but who do I see on visitation day for Patch U?” 

“Jaune?” 

“Yep. The poor guy was apparently sea sick from the boat ride, and his sisters were waiting on him to finish with the vomiting. I had some nausea medicine, or well I guess it’s just normal otc stuff, but I went over, offered it, and reintroduced myself.”

“That’s cute.”

“Not at the time,” Jessica countered as she shivered at the horrible retching noises she remembered. Jaune was a lot of things, but good at being on a boat was not one of them. 

“So love at first sight?” Weiss asked. 

“Not entirely. His sisters let slip as they were leaving that he still had a valentine I’d made for him in middle school, and watching him flush I knew I had to take my chance so I gave him my number, and we hung out. 

When my family…well he was there for me, never pushing, never too far, and not too close.

We spent a lot of time together, and just kinda clicked over time. Now? I think I’d like to grow old with him. I think anyway.”

“You think?” Weiss asked. It seemed fairly solid from where she was sitting, and she wondered if Jessica had any concerns she hadn't heard, or shared. 

Jessica gave a wicked smile that almost made her eyes gleam in the room’s lighting. “I’m not blind. I see Harriet looking at us from time to time. 

I don’t think I’d be happy with a big group, but three is the strongest number, or so they say,” Jessica explained with a saucy wink. 

“You’re all shameless deviants,” Weiss bemoaned as her face went red before the first kernel popped. “I didn’t think you’d even noticed.”

“Weiss, I can hear her smacking her lips as she runs by. She’s anything but subtle.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Weiss asked curiously as she double checked the bowl had no holes in it that it didn’t have five minutes ago as the popcorn began to pop in earnest. 

“Well outside of promising her to be our drunken tenth year anniversary mistake?” Jessica asked, referencing the ‘bet’ condition Ilia had written in on the contract. 

“Yes, outside of that,” Weiss agreed with a shake of her head at her friend's insanity. 

“I’m not sure. Jaune is as loyal as they come, but I know he’d agree for me if he thought I’d want that. I don’t mind it, but it’s also something that has to be a group decision so I think slowly introducing her to hang outs might be best. See if there’s chemistry and go from there.”

“You’re taking that better than I imagined you would.”

Jessica shrugged, took a movie, and its sequel to put into the definitely pile. “Jaune is a lot of things. Polite, kind, and caring. He can also be kind of a wimp, so Harriet would help whip him into shape a bit, but I certainly don’t mind boys, or girls, and she’s very easy on the eyes.”

“I wonder how much she spends on hair care to keep her mohawk standing like it does,” Weiss mused out loud as Jessica giggled. 

“Quickly, my hair is about to fall below can deflect bullets' hardness! Get me some hair spray!” Jessica joked before she shook her head. 

“I doubt it’s that hard.”

“Oh, I know it’s not.”

“And how do you know that, you scamp?” Weiss asked as she tried to corner her friend who grinned despite the blush on her face. 

“I asked her once if we could feel it for a bet.”

Weiss gasped. “And she let you?” 

“She so did! Face was red by the time we were done. It’s very soft,” Jessica confided in her. 

“So I should expect Harriet to join our sessions before long?” Weiss asked as she listened intently for the popcorn to cease well…popping. 

Jessica shrugged. “Not sure. I don’t want to force it, or engineer alone time with them. The idea is for all three of us to get along. Speaking of which…” Jessica trailed off as Weiss dutifully ignored her to remove the pot from the burner, and turn the heat off. 

“I know, I know,” Weiss insisted. “I just…I need to plan this out. Now that I’ve made the bet, that it’s time to actually go through with it…”

“I understand,” Jessica said sincerely, which reminded Weiss why she was her favorite. “Great asses on them though.”

“Jessica!” Weiss hissed. 

“Sorry,” the woman apologized clearly, not sorry at all as she held the bowl for her friend

Weiss began to carefully pour the popcorn in. “I just wanted to get past the awkward part. I do want you to win, you know.”

“Do you?” Weiss asked, not quite as neutrally, or flatly as she’d have liked. 

Jessica wasn’t put off by it, and nodded as she kept her hands steady. “It’s less that I want you to put yourself through what I know you will, but I want to see you happy.”

“Some people are fine alone,” Weiss countered as she set the pot onto the stove to let cool. No point dumping in cold water now, and warping the container. While she could afford to replace it she didn’t want that to happen, or to live like she always had a safety net even if she did. 

“They are,” Jessica agreed. “I don’t think you’d mind coming home to those two every day though would you?” 

“Well,” Weiss coughed as she looked away. “I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Certainly worse things to have waiting for you,” Jessica joked with an impish grin as she lightly nudged her friend who snagged the small stack of movies in one hand. 

“Any advice?” Weiss asked as they walked to the living room with the couch, and television, figuring it was basically pointless to deny at this point. 

Jessica set the bowl on the table as she frowned cutely. “Honestly, I’d say be yourself. You’re a great friend, and person. I’m sure they can see that. I’d be upfront about it. Say you find them both attractive, and want to get to know them better.”

“I can’t do that. What if they say no?” Weiss asked, mortified at the images her imagination supplied. 

“Then you already know, and have a month to kill until you lose the bet, or change their mind. Better to find out they’re not polyamorous now right?” 

“Is it polyamory if it’s just three people?” Weiss asked as Jessica opened her mouth, and then closed it with a snap. 

“You know, I don’t know,” Jessica admitted before she grabbed Weiss’s phone from her hands. “But I do know what you were trying to do.”

“I can’t just ask them that!” Weiss insisted. “Why not you?” 

“Because it’s your bet, and what if they say yes, but think it’s about me, and not you? You want them to like you for you right?” 

“Right. Right. Right,” Weiss muttered in agreement as her thoughts ran a mile a minute. Various scenarios played out in her mind, each more outlandish than the last. 

What if they asked to go to a beach and she didn’t have a swimsuit? What if she forgot her parachute if they went skydiving? What if she didn’t have a Schnee brand spaceship for a quick picnic by the rings of a planet? How would she clone a dodo bird? 

“Weiss!” Jessica interrupted her daydreams, or daymares with a shake of her shoulder. “In, and out. Come on. Breathe with me,” Jessica gently walked her through it. 

Weiss mined her, and bobbed her head in thanks. 

“Don’t do anything fancy. You have almost a whole month, remember?”

“What if they want a private island?” Weiss asked, barely keeping it together. 

“They live in Patch, and the contract said you couldn’t buy affection from them, remember? If buying a car is too much then an island is way beyond that,” Jessica argued logically knowing that with Weiss it was your best bet.  

Weiss did calm down at that. Yes, that was true. That gave her at least a month to figure out how to clone a woolly mammoth! That was plenty of time!

“Weiss,” Jessica said once more interrupting her pending planning of a drafting a letter to switch corporate funds around. 

“Yes?” 

“Stop being a goof,” Jessica chastised her with a flick of the nose. “You’re fun, sometimes a bit neurotic, but a really good friend to all of us. Just be yourself, and try talking to them first without putting any pressure on yourself.”

“Right, yes, I can do that,” Weiss agreed as she nodded her head. 

“We can go in tomorrow. I can go with you, or Jaune, or whoever while you talk to them, would that help?” Jessica asked as Weiss continued to nod her head. 

She’d actually not stopped nodding. 

Jessica sighed, and then slapped her in the face with a couch cushion. 

“Thank you,” Weiss said, not being far gone enough to realize she was overreacting as Jessica spread out the movies on offer. 

“Hmm. Any preferences?” Weiss asked, not really having any herself. 

“Not really. If Jaune, or someone else comes by we can change it then, but action? Comedy? Mix?” 

“Might as well,” Weiss agreed easily, feeling thankful for her friend who got everything set up. Honestly, what would she do without them?

Not be stuck in a potential incredible bet she supposed. 

She, and Jessica chatted a bit about classes, and various upcoming events of interest until the first movie was over even if Jessica had stepped out to make a call partway through the movie, to Jaune she assumed, checking in on him.  

The popcorn was mostly empty, and dinner was closing in along with a bit of lethargy. She didn’t often take entire days off, but the day after finals was one such date. She absolutely needed the following day to wind down, and destress. 

Watching silly, or brainless movies with her friends, or even just friend at the moment was just what she needed. 

The longer the day went on the more relaxed she felt. 

“We should probably get something to eat,” Weiss finally said as the movies main menu continued to loop. 

Jessica raised a lazy eyebrow her way, the strange tattoos on her face on display as she yawned. “Probably,” she agreed taking a look at her phone before taking some lien from her jeans pockets to hand over to her friend. 

“What’s this for?” 

“I ordered us some sandwiches, and stuff during the movie. They should be here pretty soon, but I gotta tinkle.”

“Don’t be gross,” Weiss said as she shoved Jessica’s legs off of her, still thankful for the foresight of her friend, and the kindness of paying their way, and not trying to mooch everything off of her. It helped the friendships feel real. Well that wasn't fair, they were real friends, but sometimes it was hard to internalize that, and acts like this helped Weiss keep on an even keel. 

Said woman merely grinned tiredly, and walked toward the bathroom ignoring Weiss’ call to ‘wash her hands’.

Hearing the knock, Weiss yawned, and took a moment to stretch before she went over to the door, and opened it without thought before her eyes went wide, all thoughts of sleep banished from her mind at the sight in front of her.

“Salutations, and thanks for ordering from Mission Impasta-” Penny managed to get out before Weiss slammed the door in her face, her own face entirely crimson. 

Hearing Jessica’s laughter from the bathroom told her she needed new friends.

A point made even more evident as she was fairly sure she heard a worried second voice join Penny’s. 

Chapter Text

“You absolute menace!” Weiss hissed, seethed really, at her friend who had yet to show her face, rightfully, fearing for her very soul if Weiss had her way. 

“Don’t keep them waaaaiting,” Jessica sing-songed from the bathroom as Weiss growled, but complied. She could put the fear of Weiss into Jessica later.

The sandwiches were outside. She would just…retrieve them. Yes, that was the ticket. She’d give them Jessica’s money, say thank you, take the food, and then not slam the door on them. 

Why she might even give them a flirty wink as she did so. They’d probably be begging to date her before they even left the area!

Yes, that was brilliant, likely even foolproof. 

That thought in mind, she opened the door with a smile on her face only for her brain to short circuit seeing the two of them outside. 

They looked even hotter in person…wait she’d seen them in person. Up close? No. Outside her living area? Close to her bed? Surely not.

“Hello, and thank you for ordering from Mission Impastaball! Oh hey, I remember you!” Ruby declared upon seeing Weiss. 

“Yes, you had the friend who wished to know about boolean!” Penny piped up with a grin as she hopped in place. 

Weiss valiantly fought the desire to stare as she did so. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to notice, or were at least nice enough not to call her out on it, but really it was their fault for being so attractive in the first place. 

Had they no decency? Existing near her looking like they’d walked straight out of a runway…for pizza delivery models. 

It occurred to Weiss, likely thanks to some distant part of her brain that was still trying to behave normally, and not panicking that she should, in fact say something. She could do that. 

“Fine, thanks, and how are you?” Weiss asked with a smile, an angelic choir in her head singing in joy at her triumph. 

“Um…” Ruby said looking awkward until Weiss’s mind caught up with her, and what they’d actually said reached her mind, and the angelic choir began screaming in agony as they caught fire. 

“Sorry, long day,” Weiss tried to save. As Jaune might have said she was ‘winging it’. As Ilia might have said she was ‘a useless lesbian’. She made a mental note to make sure Ilia had the third best silverware when she came over next. Not enough to call her on it, but enough that she knew Weiss was upset at her…

Who was she kidding, Ilia wouldn’t know, or care as long as she was getting something for free. She’d still do it to make herself feel better though. 

“Happens to the best of us,” Ruby allowed with a grin, and reminded Weiss exactly why these two were perfect, or would be once their last names were Schnee. Or would she take theirs? What was their last names? Would they hyphenate? Or maybe…

“That will be twenty six lien for the sandwiches, dear customer,” Penny informed her, reading off the receipt. 

Mindlessly, she took the money Jessica had given her, and handed it over to the other two along with her name as Ruby efficiently made change to hand back over. 

“You can keep it as a tip,” Weiss insisted before remembering it was Jessica’s money, and maybe she shouldn’t have just given it away, but Jessica had to have known what would happen, so really it was her fault, or she wanted it to happen. 

She could pay her back. 

“If you’re sure,” Ruby offered with a half shrug before she winced, Penny’s arm going to gently knead at her shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” Weiss asked worriedly. 

“Ah, yeah, we just had to unload a couple trucks back to back earlier, and I might have pulled my shoulder a bit,” Ruby explained. 

“You unloaded a truck?” Weiss asked. 

“Mhm, like three,” Ruby confirmed as Penny explained further. 

“Trucks of supplies are ordered in bulk, and several containers worth of supplies needed to be unloaded, and each one has to be done by hand, and then checked, and verified before being signed off on, typically in under two hours,” Penny explained. 

That was…a lot of supplies, pizza or otherwise.

“What do you think about chiropractors?” Weiss asked, almost on instinct. 

“Not even in my top ten favorite dinosaurs,” Ruby replied without missing a beat as Penny giggled in response. 

“Why did you want to know?” Penny asked brightly as she handed the bags of food over to Weiss. 

“I’m good, no great as giving a massage. I could help?” Weiss asked, although she tried, really she did, to sound confident about it. 

“I was unaware chiropractors, and masseuse were the same profession,” Penny admitted with a finger on her lips as she hummed thoughtfully. 

“They aren’t,” Weiss assured her. “I was just wondering before I offered.”

“Offered?” Ruby asked curiously.

“A massage, obviously,” Weiss said before she could stop herself even as the part of her mind she usually heeded screamed at her that she was missing something vital. 

“Aren’t those usually expensive?” Ruby asked once more. 

“I’m in training so I do them for free for anyone. You just need to tell me in advance so I can have everything ready,” Weiss said. 

“Oh…we wouldn’t want to impose,” Penny said although her voice was intrigued. 

“You wouldn’t be,” Weiss assured them, even as her mind screamed at her, sounding more like a klaxon siren than her voice presently.

“Oh, then sure I guess. How much time in advance do you want?” Ruby asked after Penny gave her a nod. 

“At least a day, or two. Both of you are welcome of course,” Weiss added in because what was better than getting to run her hands over one of them? Both of them. 

Despite the fact that…ignoring herself she refocused. 

“Fantastic. What number would you like us to call to set up an appointment doctor?” Penny asked, joked really. 

Weiss grabbed the receipt, and scribbled on the back of it. “Call, text, page, whatever works.”

“Carrier pigeon?” Ruby asked as Penny grinned. 

“A trained Platypus?” Penny threw in her own idea. 

“That would be fun. I always thought owls would be fun to pet. They look soft, but that screech,” Ruby said with a shudder. 

“We should get going new friend Weiss, but we’ll be in touch…” Penny promised as Ruby shot her a wide grin, and with an arm around Penny’s shoulder steered her away.

Weiss nodded as they both waved, and she absolutely didn’t go back inside until they were out of eyesight. Because it would be rude, and she wanted to make sure they made it safely…out of the hallway. 

With a loving sigh she turned back only to nearly shriek seeing Jessica standing behind her, camera clearly having recorded the entire thing, or at least most of it. 

“So…” Jessica drawled with a very amused smirk on her face. 

“Shut up, nothing happened, who are you to record me anyway? How dare you!” Weiss rattled off. “Well say something for yourself!” 

“I thought you were a business major.”

“I am,” Weiss insisted with a near snarl as she set the food on the counter. “Why?” 

“Weiss you have no idea how to give a massage,” Jessica gently reminded her with a worried look on her face. 

Weiss merely waved her hand even as a small part of her mind, the one that had been screaming at her before chimed in with agreement at that. “There’s plenty of tutorials, and guides online. I’m sure I can manage that in a few days. I did say to give me time. I’m in training anyway, remember? Any problems can be chalked up to that.”

“I guess…” Jessica allowed. “But where are you going to get all the supplies from?” 

Weiss blinked. Then blinked again, sandwich halfway to her mouth as her eyes began to slowly widen in terror. 

“Are you sure you’ll need all of…this?” Jaune asked as he, and Jessica helped Weiss on her impromptu shopping trip. 

To her credit, she hadn’t rushed out that night to purchase the table, oils, candles, speakers to play music through, towels, and the like, but only because the nearby stores were likely closed. 

“I’ll likely need even more,” Weiss muttered as she looked over at her purchases. She wasn’t sure if this technically was against the deal they’d made, but as Emerald had only ended up laughing when calling to ask she’d just assumed it was fine. 

If it wasn’t, she had receipts to take it all back, but she wasn’t going to let the chance pass her by. Even if she never got to see them again she…no that was quitter talk. 

She was Weiss Schnee, and quitter wasn’t anywhere in her name!

“A shungite comb?” Jessica asked as she picked an item from the basket. 

“Of course, I might need to make sure their chakra pathways are unblocked,” Weiss said, as if anything she’d just said was a normal thing to think. 

Jessica traded a look with Jaune before he shrugged, made a fist, and slapped it into his other open hand. 

Understanding, Jessica followed suit, and soon she made the cutting motion to Jaune’s paper. 

His shoulders slumped as Jessica walked by, kissed his cheek, and he took his turn at trying to talk Weiss out of buying half the store. 

“You’re going to have to put some of this back,” Jaune said in a strong voice, attempting to project confidence at least until Weiss narrowed her eyes at him, and he quailed under her gaze. 

“I will, will I?” Weiss asked, her voice impressively neutral. Jaune could say that, in fact, that made it far more terrifying. 

“You might lose the bet otherwise,” Jaune said, instantly switching to logic, as Jessica had mentioned it was his best shot at not causing Mount Weiss to erupt. 

Weiss narrowed her eyes further. “Elucidate.”

“Um.”

Jessica tapped him on the shoulder, and the humor in her voice said she was having way more fun than he was. “She means explain.”

“In a way that doesn’t end your free trial to life,” Weiss threatened. 

“You buying a table, and some stuff is one thing, but there’s no way Ilia won’t convince Emerald this all,” Jaune gestured to the not one, but four carts full of various health, and beauty supplies they were pushing around, “isn’t trying to buy their affection, right? Then you'll lose on a technicality before you get to date them.”

“Ilia is a traitorous one,” Weiss agreed with a keen eye as her gaze slowly looked over the various supplies they, or more honestly, she had. “Her desire for chocolate can’t be overstated.”

“Exactly,” Jaune said instantly, latching onto the seeming out he was being given. 

“You will back me up that the table is needed?” Weiss asked sharply as she whirled around.

“And all the supplies that go with it,” Jessica assured her, sounding remarkably at ease as she nodded to the rest of the carts. “But only if you put that back. I can’t in good faith argue for you buying what’s essentially a whole beauty spa for them. You doing a massage as best you can is one thing, but the rest…a bit much.”

Weiss looked at them for a moment before she laughed. “I suppose I did go a bit overboard. Let’s put this back, and I’ll buy us dinner. Then I need to learn, they’ve already texted to book an appointment the day after tomorrow!” 

“That’s great!” Jaune congratulated her as Weiss nodded in agreement. It was very great. It would be greater when she knew what she was doing, or running her hands over them in a pg related way. 

Hopefully that might progress, but for now it was definitely a good first step. 

“Wimp,” Jessica teased her boyfriend as she walked by playfully shoulder checking him as he slugged her arm in return. 

It was cute, but Weiss had much to do to be ready for her debut as a masseuse, but she was Weiss Schnee, and she was going to set her mind to this, and conquer it. Who knew, she might even make a job out of it?

The stage was set, the music was playing softly, her friends had been told, and agreed to keep away for the evening, and her phone was set to silent. 

She’d showered, and was wearing a tasteful, but flattering outfit, not that any outfit she wore wouldn’t flatter her, but the point was she thought she looked just the part. Professional, and ready to no longer be single…hopefully. 

The music was softly playing, soothing nature sounds, and relaxing piano drifted through the room, the scented candles made the entire place smell divine, and the living room was transformed with a stand containing her supplies in easy reach of the table. 

In the end, she’d forewent the couples table because she thought it might be a bit obvious, but the one she had chosen was very comfortable, and would serve them well. Even with the dimmed lights, the candles should provide enough lighting for them to get to the table without issue, and hopefully enhance the mood. Perhaps make them feel more comfortable. 

The towels were freshly laundered, and as soft as a cloud. She was just getting them from the bathroom when she heard the knock on the door. 

“Come in, the table is in the living room. I’m just getting something,” Weiss called out as she heard the answer in return. “You can leave your things wherever you’re comfortable.”

Weiss took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She felt excited, and sick to her stomach at the same time. 

She hated it. She loved it. She glared at herself in the mirror, and lowered her voice to a whisper. 

“You are going to go out there, give them the best amateur massage they’ve ever had, and have them eating out of the palm of your hands. You are Weiss Schnee, and you have two hands that need to be held, and tended to! Right? Right!” 

Satisfied with her small pep talk she turned off the light, and stepped out, walking toward the living room. 

“Sorry about that I was just…” Weiss cut herself off as she looked at the table. 

“WHY ARE YOU HERE?” Weiss shrieked as Blake looked at her with an amused look in her eyes. 

“You said you did this for anyone who asked, or that’s what Penny, and Ruby said. Were you lying for some reason perhaps?” 

“...”

“Surely you weren’t lying just to get them over here were you?” Blake teased, as if she knew the answer already if the smile on her face said anything.

“Why did you use their phone?” Weiss asked, almost hissed, so well that Blake was nominally impressed.

“Mine was dead,” Blake answered easily, lied through her teeth most likely. “I told them I’d go first to let them know if it was worth their time. Because they’re such dear friends of course.”

Weiss hated her life. Not as much as she hated Blake, but it was a close thing.