Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This is my hermitcraft oneshot book! I take requests and will right basically anything accept smut or anything along those lines. I'll write all the hermits and some creators that are close to the hermits like Jimmy Solidarity. for example. I do not have an upload routine so it will be random and all at once. something I tend to do is make character chapters with the overall vibe of the character there rooms etc. so today i will spend many hours on Pinterest while learning about sharks.

OH! ALSO this is a FOUND family fic so trauma other stuff yeah. there is going to be backstories and stuff they are all currently at a boarding school called Stonehaven Academy adn living in the same dorm building with Xisuma as the head of the dorm building but he is still a student TFC is they're councilor/grandfather figure.

PLEASE LEAVE REQUESTS

Chapter Text

bdubs,
jimmy solidarity
scott,
etho,
rendog
impulse,
welsknight
cleo,
pearl,
joel,
mumbo,
scar,
tango,
zedaph,
impulse,
skiz,
gem,
false,
hypno,
beef,
cub,
doc,
grain
TFC
evil xisuma (Exsona)
joe hills
Xisuma
Keralis
Martyn
XB
Helsknight

Chapter Text

Name: Bdubs
age:17
Likes: nature, horses, art, Minecraft, Stardew valley, and animals.
Dislikes: loud sounds, busy places, getting hurt
backstory: Bdubs has never had a happy family, but his parents didn't want to separate until Bdubs was older. Although, Bdubs feels that his parents breaking up when he was younger would have been less traumatic. When his parents finally got divorced, neither wanted to take him into their next chapter of their lives with their new partners, so they sent him off to Stonehaven Academy.
profile: Bdubs has Anxiety and ADHD he is very chill and loves riding his horse.

Notes: Horse Mi Amore recently passed away

Attachments: He has a healthy attachment style, but has social anxiety when in one-on-one situations with others
Class schedule:
1-English
2-math
3-science
4-Art
5-history
6-Photography
7-graphic design
8- computer science

Name: BigB
Nickname: BibB is a nickname given to him by his one friend at school, his birth name is Anthony

Age: 16

Likes: Alternative music, cryptids and fantastical horror, working out, practical pranks, weird looking plants, taking care of his natural hair, alternative and ethnic fashion

Dislikes: bad faith arguments, jokes about suicide, bullying, mainstream fashion (because of ethical reasons), casual talk of sexual coersion or force, his younger brother

Backstory: BigB, named Anthony at birth, had a decent experience of school growing up with older siblings often looking out for him. At 14, his older sister (16) was raped, and dropped out of school as a result. People began to associate BigB with the situation and bullied him relentlessly, getting worse the more he tried to defend his sister's dignity. His younger brother renounced him and their sister to keep himself safe from the bullying BigB is going through. BigB has a very challenging relationship with his younger brother because of it. Because of BigB's association with his sister's rape, a series of bullies attempted to rape him as well, and even though he managed to fight them off, they still spread negative rumors about BigB's sex life, including that he was a slut. BigB tried to report them, but it got swept under the rug repeatedly. In order to keep their children safe, BigB's family pulled both BigB and his younger brother from public school and sent them to Stonehaven. BigB has still not forgiven his younger brother for not defending their family.

Profile: BigB has situational depression (it will get better), anger issues, and PTSD related to sexual situations

Schedule:

1-English

2-Math

3-History

4-Fashion basics

5-Science

6-Debate

7-Architecture

Name: Cub
age:16
Likes: Space, Art, science, technology
Dislikes: Failing, Yelling, being left alone, sarcasm
Backstory: Cub parents got divorced and neither wanted custody so he was put into the foster system. He scored highly on exams in school, so he was sent to Stonehaven to capitalize on his potential.
profile: cub had Autism and abandonment issues
Attachments: Anxious attachments- worried about abandonment due to his parents

Class schedule:
1-Astronomy(NOT ASTROLOGY)
2-Math
3-Art
4-English
5-Computer science
6-History
7-science
8-Physics

Name: Cleo
Age:18
Likes: Reading, drawing, fashion design
Dislikes: Touch (sometimes) math, blue cheese
Backstory: Cleo had a close relationship with her parents, even though they both did drugs and got drunk often. Cleo was often left to take care of themself, or even her parents at times. Cleo loved her parents though and so never reported them to CPS. It wasn’t until the age of 15 that Cleo was in a car accident with her parents because her mom was drunk driving. Both her parents both got arrested, and Cleo got sent to Stonehaven. She is considered legally under the care of Stonehaven until her parents can rehabilitate themselves, but by the time they do Cleo is already 18.
profile: Cleo has PTSD with cars and is like a motherly figure to a lot of their younger friends.

Attachments: Healthy attachment style
Class schedule:
1-Math
2-Fashion Design
3-English
4-Culinary arts
5-Creative writing
6-science
7-History
8-Ceramics

Name: Doc
age:18
Likes: Technology, science, Computers, Reading
Dislikes: Touch, crowds, loud spaces, The texture of applesauce
Backstory: Doc’s parents were never great, but they provided for him physically and we’ren’t abusive so much as emotionally neglective. Doc struggled with what he thought was dysphoria and eventually told his parents, who didn’t believe him and took him to the doctor to prove he was wrong. The doctor diagnosed Doc with dysmorphia instead. Doc’s parents were upset with him for “being dramatic” and sent him to Stonehaven until he could “learn to behave”.
profile: Doc has severe Depression and body dysmorphia
Attachments: Anxious attachments- worried he is a burden to others and struggles to bring up issues in relationships
Class schedule:
1-Computer science
2-Math
3-English
4-Robotics
5-History
6-physics
7-science
8-chemistry

Name: Etho
age:17
Likes: Coding, drawing, minecraft, painting
Dislikes: the texture of sweaters, people, loud spaces, crowds, physical touch
Backstory: Grew up in the foster system after his parents put him up for adoption. Etho was abused for years, both by the system and the families he was fostered by. The family before his current one is where he got his eye and jaw injury, and is why he wears a mask. His current family wants the money for fostering him, but does not care about actually raising him so they sent to the school, which is paid for by taxes instead of the families of the students. Etho has a strong feeling of hatred towards his biological parents, believing that if they had never put him up for adoption then he would have turned out much healthier and happier.
profile: Has anxiety, depression, AUHD and sometimes goes non-verbal

Notes: Used to do riding with Bdubs and Guude as a kid, but was forced to move by his at the time foster parents. He and Bdubs didn’t talk for multiple years after Etho quit, due to not going to the same school. They had a reunion when they recognized each other on move-in day.

Attachments: Avoidant attachments- avoids getting too involved with others, Bdubs is an exception
Class schedule:
1-Game development
2-Math
3-history
4-computer graphics
5-English
6-science
7-robotics
8-computer science

Name: Exsona(evil Xisuma)
age:18
Likes: Art, coding, reading
Dislikes: Loud spaces, touch (unless it's Xisuma), bright lights
Backstory: Exsona’s parents were both very mentally ill. They lived just below the poverty line, often having to take food hand outs and other donations. From a young age Xisuma and Exsona learned to beg, steal, and find other ways to help their family afford food. Eventually, their mother got a job, but it was only enough to bring them just above poverty: they were still very poor. Their father, under too much stress for him to handle, had a psychotic episode and believed that if killed Xisuma and Exsona, they would be better off. Their mother managed to stop the father, but not without getting severely injured and nearly bleeding out. While their parents fought, Xisuma had managed to call 911. The police and ambulance arrived, arresting their father and taking their mother to the hospital. The twins now have matching scars on their faces in the shape of an X, and severe trauma.
profile: AUHD, also has anxiety and struggles with sleep due to PTSD

Attachments: Avoidant attachment style- avoids getting too close to others. Xiusma is his brother and best/only friend.
Class schedule:
1-Art
2-English
3-Science
4-coding
5-Math
6-History
7-creative writing
8-Painting

Name: False
age:18
Likes: Birds, technology, architecture, design
Dislikes: Pears, crowds, feeling trapped
Backstory: False had a good family. Unfortunately, her family died in a house fire while False was at school and she was sent to Stonehaven by her grandparents who did not want to raise her (not that they did not love her, but they did not want to raise her through their retirement).
profile: false has anxiety and struggles with getting close to people
Attachments: Anxious-avoidant- craves love and affection but is scared to get close in case she loses them somehow
Class schedule:
1-Architecture
2-Math
3-Art
4-History
5-english
6-computer science
7-science
8-animal science

Name: Gem
age:15
Likes: Art, animals, minecraft
Dislikes: bananas, math,
Backstory: Gem had a relatively happy childhood as a single daughter to a happy couple. At around the age of 13, her mother died. She was devastated, but still had her father. However, her father didn’t make much and they struggled to stay afloat without Gem’s mother’s income. About a year later, her dad met another woman, who had significant wealth. Eventually, Gem’s dad married her and the woman became Gem’s step-mom. Gem’s step-mom believes in the superiority of blood, and sees Gem as a taint on the family, and is always trying to find ways to criticize Gem, including her choice of friends and “anger issues”. Her step mom hates her and didn't want her at the house so her dad sent her to Stonehaven. With the coming of a new child, Gem was disowned from the family, her step-mom believing she would be a bad influence on the child.
profile: chill, helps take care of her friends on bad days,

Attachments: Relatively healthy attachments, but due to trauma from her dad worries about being second-best to others
Class schedule:
1-Art
2-Ceramics
3-Math
4-Architecture
5-English
6-history
7-Gardening
8-Science

Name: Grain
age:16
Likes:books, art, minecraft, the color red, flowers
Dislikes:loud sounds, some human contact, the texture of pumpkin pie
Backstory: Grian had a younger sibling named Micah. Their parents were very abusive, physically and emotionally, but Grian and Micah never reported their parents out of fear of being separated by CPS. Grian, being the older of the two, often took the brunt of it, both because his parents saw him as more responsible, and because Grian wanted to protect Micah as much as possible. It wasn’t until Grian’s 16th birthday that they met their aunt on their mom’s side. She had insisted she meet her nephews she had not seen in 16 years- this made Grian’s parents angry, and they told Grian and Micah horrible things about their aunt. At Grian’s birthday, Micah was very hesitant to say hello to her, but Grian was more open and she recognized the abuse and called CPS. As a result, both of Grian’s parents got arrested, and Grian and Micah were put under guardianship of their aunt. Grian was sent to the school by his aunt, but Micah was very traumatized and dropped out of school and is currently taking a gap year to do therapy before he resumes school. As a result of the intense abuse Grian endured, he developed OSDD.
profile:has adhd anxiety and ptsd but is relatively chill he also has OSDD

Attachments: Anxious attachment style- hides parts of himself constantly so that others like him
Class schedule:
1-Art
2-Math
3-history
4-computer graphics
5-science
6-english
7-creative writing
8-coding

Name: Helsknight
age:16
Likes: Fencing ceramics and Painting
Dislikes: people, touch, confrontation, loud
backstory:Wel’s parents had very high expectations of him and when he couldn't keep up they sent him here so he could be a failure to them while being far away then when Hels started to slip they sent them there as well.
profile: Hels’ parents come from a “noble” family. They believe in tradition, and had very high expectations of Hels and his siblings. When Hels couldn't keep up to their expectations, they sent him to Stonehaven so he could “be a failure to them while being far away”. They later disowned him.
Attachments: avoidant- avoids getting too close to others so he isn't abandoned
Class schedule:
1-English
2-Ceramics
3-History
4-painting
5-Science
6-Math
7-Fencing
8-Art

Name: Hypno
age:16
Likes: music, art, architecture,
Dislikes: touch, the top part of broccoli, bananas, loud sounds, crowds, people, bright lights, kiwi texture.
Backstory: Hypno's parents left him at a fire station as an infant and was adopted by one of the fire fighters. Hypno is well loved by his new family, but the knowledge of being abandoned still haunts him. He is bullied at school, and was looking at failing the year due to skipping so often, but his adoptive parents insisted he drop out, and resume the next year at Stonehaven, a school known for supporting its students.
profile: hypno has AUHD anxiety, depression, and struggles with food.
Attachments: Healthy attachment style
Class schedule:
1-Music
2-English
3-Art
4-Math
5-science
6-architecture
7-history
8-ceramics

Name: Impulse
age:16
Likes: technology, architecture, art
Dislikes: touch, loud, glass, gas stoves.
Backstory: Impulse’s parents were alcoholics, and liked to spend late nights out drinking. Sometimes, they’d drink at home, and Impulse would stay after school or go to a friend’s house to avoid them. One day, Impulse was staying overnight with a friend, but had forgotten something at home and went to go get it. Impulse's parents were really drunk and they forgot who impulse was resulting in them trying to burn him on a gas stove resulting with a huge burn scar down his chest and side. Impulse managed to escape without further injury, but his friend of course noticed the burns and called 911. Eventually, Impulse’s parents were arrested.
profile: Impulse has PTSD and Anxiety.
Attachment: healthy attachment style- makes friends with ZTS very quickly
Class schedule:
1-Architecture
2-Math
3-Art
4-English
5-Science
6-computer science
7-History
8-coding

Name: Jevin
age:16
Likes:Science, art, cooking, bananas.
Dislikes: The word crunchy, cheese, fireworks.
Backstory: Jevin’s parents were always physically angry, throwing things and breaking things, but never physically abusive towards Jevin. However, they got into disputes with their nextdoor neighbors, who would throw branches and even trash over the fence. Jevin’s parents eventually killed them with a gun. Jevin reported his parents as soon as he realized what had happened. His parents’ last words to him were that they hate him, and they refuse his visits to prison to see them. Jevin was sent to Stonehaven by his older brother, who currently has legal custody of Jevin.
Profile: Jevin is a very happy kid however he has ptsd involving loud banging and has sensory issues.
Attachments: Healthy attachments
Class schedule:
1-Science
2-Art
3-English
4-History
5-Physics
6-Chemestry
7- Math
8- cooking

Name: Jimmy
age:16
Likes: animals, Minecraft, reading, barrel racing
Dislikes: loud sounds, his parents, the dark
backstory: Jimmy's parents had him by accident, but had never planned on having children. However, they felt bad giving him up to adoption, especially with pressure from Jimmy's grandparents to “continue to bloodline”, so they hired a nanny who took care of Jimmy from the ages of toddlerhood to 10, when Jimmy was sent to his first boarding school. Generally he was sent to different boarding schools his whole life, but never properly fit in or seemed to be able to maintain proper grades, even once they purchased Daisy as a ESA for Jimmy. Stonehaven was the first time his parents actually listened to his opinions about the school he was attending. Seeing that Jimmy was happier and succeeding academically, they let him stay at this one to finish out his last few years of high school.
profile: He has ADHD and Attachment issues he is really calm (sometimes)

Attachments: Anxious attachment style- constantly questions love and affection
Class schedule:
1-Science
2-history
3-Math
4-computer graphics
5-English
6-Creative writing
7-ceramics
8-Art

Name: Joe
age:18
Likes: Books, art, plants, animals
Dislikes: Yelling, fighting, violence in general
Backstory: Joe is a single child. His father was a psychopath who mentally and physically abused him for years, getting high off the power he felt over Joe and his mother. Joe was 12 when she finally called her father in and had him arrested. Joe’s mother was mad at him for ‘ruining their family’, but really was mentally unstable and unfit to take care of a child. She was admitted to a state institution and Joe got sent to Stonehaven.
profile: Joe has AUHD depression and anxiety he is very nice and cares alot about his friends
Attachments: Healthy attachment style
Class schedule:
1-English
2-Art
3-science
4-History
5-Gardening
6-Ceramics
7-Math
8-animal science

Name: Joel
age:17
Likes: Plants, Animals, Being outside, art, architecture
Dislikes: People, crowds, bright lights, Loud sounds, People getting in his space
backstory:Joel's parents didn't plan to have a kid so they neglected him then as soon as he was old enough sent him to boarding schools until he eventually was old enough to go to Stonehaven.
profile: Joel has severe depression and anxiety and struggles with OCD as well
Attachments: Avoidant attachment style- avoids getting too close to others because he was neglected and isolated for so long he doesn't really “get” others
Class schedule:
1-Animal science
2-Math
3-Architecture
4-science
5-english
6-Art
7-gardening
8-History

Name: Karalis
age:18
Likes: Plants, The color yellow, raspberry's
Dislikes: Cheese, his family, history
backstory: Keralis grew up with neglectful parents and a handful of siblings who he learned to take care of in the absence of parental care. His parents one day announced they were going on vacation, and despite how Keralis and the older siblings fought them on it, their parents left. The two adults never came back. Keralis started working, believing he could try to support his family, but it wasn’t long until his family was found out. Kerlais’ younger siblings were sent to live with his grandparents, whom they had never met, but Keralis and his 13 y/o sister were sent to Stonehaven. His parents were never found.
profile: ADHD, very nice but has trouble getting close to people

Attachments: Anxious-avoidant attachments- craves loves and affection but struggles to accept it from others
Class schedule:
1-Gardening
2-History
3-Math
4-Art
5-english
6-Cooking
7-science
8-Architecture

Name: Lizzy
Age:18
Likes: Art, cats, pink, flowers, architecture
Dislikes: yellow, yogurt, broccoli , tomato
Backstory: Lizzy is a student from the college side of campus. She lost her older sister to suicide when she was 10. She was sent to Stonehaven by her parents to keep her safe. With the support from Stonehaven, she recovered quickly, but remained in their program. She graduated early at 17, and is now a part of the psychology program of Stonehaven college. She is currently running observations on Dorm H to see if individuals attending the school improve over time. The others do not know this, and think she is an exchange student.
profile: Lizzy has Anxiety
Attachment: Healthy attachments
Class schedule:
1-English
2-Art
3-Math
4-graphic design
5-history
6-Ceramics
7-Architecture
8- science

Name: Martyn
age:16
Likes: ancient mythologies, art, space
Dislikes: Touch, Yelling, glass, Bright lights, The color yellow
backstory: Martyn's parents raised him for one thing to make them look good; they had nannies and stuff to take care of him and tutors to make him a great student. Then when his parents went bankrupt and decided that they didn't want him anymore and they left him at a park. Martyn was homeless for 2 years before getting found and sent to the school.
profile: Martyn has abandonment issues, and some anger issues but is otherwise very chill and kind. he has AUHD, anxiety and struggles with severe depression that sometimes leaves him unable to get up
Attachments: Avoidant- tries to avoid getting too close to others or relying on others
Class schedule:
1-Art
2-English
3-Math
4-Fencing
5-Ceramics
6-science
7-History
8-Mythologies.

Name: Mumbo
age:16
Likes: Technology, Drawing, photography, cinematography
Dislikes: loud s

Chapter Text

Leave your requests here just nothing NSFW or anything like that!!!! thanks! I will write Angst fluff hurt/comfort sickfics ect. Just PLEASE PLEASE NO NSFW

Chapter Text

StoneHaven Academy had introduced a new dorm system. The new system states that each dorm building will be reconstructed into a duplex; one shared wall between two groups of students. Each duplex will be assigned no more than 35 students and a dorm “parent”; a licensed counselor who is there to mentally support the students, ensure safety and wellness, and navigate contact with birth-parents and legal guardians. Additional dorm parents may be requested as necessary. Students are required to sign contracts stating that they understand they are responsible for the wellness of others in the dorm as well, should they be found liable- intended to decrease potential fights. Additionally, one student would be elected by the student body to be the student advocate for each “family” of students.

It was a daunting document, in all honesty, but Skizz still signed it. And so did 25 or so others. The first week of moving in was quiet. No one really talked to each other, and most of them spent their time squirreled away in their rooms. Skizz was one of the few who hung out in the main rooms of their side of the duplex, alongside some other boys, named Tango, Impulse and Zedaph. The four bonded quickly, sharing introductions, jokes,laughs, and even a few, though very brief, discussions on how they had come here. TFC, their dorm parent, seemed to be giving them space for now, but was always nearby.

TFC was well aware he had been assigned to be a dorm parent to a group of very traumatized teenagers. He hoped to take things slow, giving them the first week to settle in and adjust to the new living arrangements before setting any hard rules. While they empty out old dorms on campus to create housing for teachers and dorm parents, TFC was going to be taking up one of the rooms in the duplex- sharing the space with the students 24/7. However, his room would be downstairs, unlike the students’ rooms which would be on the second and third floors. During the first week, TFC decided he was going to try to make it seem cozy. New dishes, plastic vases with non-scented faux plants, lamps and other versions of alternative lighting, rugs- mostly covered by the school, but TFC didn’t mind digging into his own pocket to cover the rest. Afterall, he was going to be caring for these kids until they graduated, supposedly.

He was told this group in particular had a lot of issues, but having met each of them at least once at the door to say hello and introduce himself, he could tell they were good kids, if troubled.

Skizz was taking the move in hard. His parents hadn’t given him a choice with moving into the dorms, and they supposedly hadn’t tried to contact him since dropping him off with his things and leaving without much of a goodbye. Thankfully, by the end of the first week he had already made a few friends like Zedalph, Impulse and Tango. They tried to help Skizz feel better about this whole thing.

It wasn’t until the Friday after move-in that the first dorm meeting was announced. Skizz and his newfound friends showed up fashionably late, caught up in a game of solitaire in Impulse’s room. Still, they weren’t the last ones to show. TFC waited patiently and let the students talk amongst themselves as they waited for the last few- not that the students did much talking. A few seemed to be grouped together, but no one talked about a whisper. Eventually, the last two make it downstairs- the twins that Skizz had seen move in a day after move-in. They didn’t sit down, standing with each other in the corner.

TFC smiled at them warmly before clearing his throat and addressing the whole group.

"Hello everyone, I'm TFC, your dorm parent. As you should know by now, I am a licensed counselor, so please, feel free to come to me if you run into any issues. Additional facts about me! I’m 37, a dog person, and single.” A few of the students lit up slightly, but no one said anything. TFC smiled, trying not to lose confidence. “I'm gonna go over some ground rules. Firstly, please get to class on time. If you must miss a day for mental health or physical health reasons, you must tell me. If you are tardied too often, I am authorized to create new contingencies: consequences. Secondly, when around the dorm, try not to make too many sudden loud noises without warning, as it can be triggering. Thirdly, metal, ceramic or glass utensils or dishes are not allowed in this building, as they can be dangerous and triggering. We will be using plastic plates and cups. Everything in this kitchen is microwave and dishwasher safe, just do not try to use it on the stovetop, for obvious reasons. Prescribed medications will be administered at meal times. Lastly, there is no required bedtime, but lights in the main rooms and hallways will be turned off at 9:45 each night. And please, if you need anything at all come to me. Any questions?”

A group of scared, scar covered kids sat in silence, staring at him.

“No questions?” TFC prompted. No one spoke up. “Ok that's fine, why don't we all decide what I should make for dinner?” he offered instead. A few nods around the room. TFC smiled a little. “Alright, any requests?”A boy in the back raises his hand. He is in a Hawaiian shirt, a long sleeve shirt under it tucked into his blue jeans.
"What about something easy like Mac and cheese?" he suggests nervously. “I'm ok with that, is everyone else?” TFC asks. He received a few enthusiastic nods, even a few mutters of agreement. "Okay. One more thing. In the future, dinners will be required, but seeing as it’s still the first week, do you want to try and eat down here or in your rooms?" he proposed, trying to be gentle. A few of the kids said downstairs, so TFC nodded and went to work on dinner, letting them go back to their rooms. Surprisingly, though, most of them stayed.

About an hour later the mac and cheese is done, with the addition of some optional vegetables. TFC put a serving in each bowl, put them on the table with a cup of water for each and called the students over before going to fetch those who had scampered off to their rooms. down to eat. When he comes down with the stragglers, those at the table are already smiling and joking with each other. TFC smiled slightly, glad they are getting along and they could eat in peace. After dinner TFC creates a group chat with each of the students for future conversation and reminders, then takes dinner clean up upon himself. A few of the students offered to help, but he insisted that he could handle it for tonight. The students decide to go to sleep early, all upstairs before lights out. TFC smiles a little, and makes his way to his room.

He had a good feeling about this school year.

Chapter Text

Etho had just finished unloading his things from the car. He looked back over his shoulder at James, his social worker. James smiled back. Etho forced a small smile before turning away and looking at the dorm that loomed ahead. He knew that this was for the best and that this school would help him, but at the moment, it just felt like he was being dumbed somewhere else. As far as he was concerned, this was just another place that he’d leave again in a month or two. He tried to take a step forward towards the duplex, but he felt frozen in place. He didn’t want to let go just yet.

Etho was pulled out of his stupor when he heard another car pull up. It was a red minivan being driven by a less than enthusiastic man, an anxious boy who looked strangely familiar in the passenger seat. When they stopped, the boy got out and walked to the back of the car to get out a suitcase and some bags. Another student, if Etho had to guess. And, if his bow-legged stance was anything to go by, he was also a horse-back rider of some sort.

After a moment of hesitation Etho decided to take a step towards the boy. “Hey! Uh- do you… need any help?” the boy looked at him.“I’m okay, thanks,” he smiled a little. Etho nodded. A moment passed. “Er- sorry if this is a weird question but do you happen to ride horses?” Etho asked fidgeting anxiously where he stood. “Uh- yeah, actually,” the boy smiled a little, his eyes lighting up. “I’ve been riding horses since I was old enough to sit in the saddle, basically.” Etho smiled a bit under his mask. “I used to ride horses when I was younger but I had to move. You remind me a lot of this kid I used to hang out with back then.” “Really?” the boy chuckled. “Well, I was about to-” “Bdubs!” the man in the front called back. “Are you done unloading yet? I have places to be.” “Yeah- sorry,” Bdubs called back. He muttered something under his breath as he closed the back of the car. He didn’t bother waving to his father as he drove off.

“Sorry about that,” Bdubs said to Etho, rubbing his neck sheepishly. When he looked up, Etho was standing stock still looking quite shocked before he suddenly yelled “BDUBS!” Bdubs gave him a weird look. “Uh- yeah- that’s my name alright. You don’t have to yell it for everyone to hear, you know.” “ No no no it's not that- I don't know if you remember me but it's me, Etho? From the ranch? We used to ride horses together” he rushed out hunching over making himself smaller. Bdubs furrowed his brow for a second before his face shifted to surprise. “Etho!? Like- Ladders Etho?” Etho nodded vehemently, unable to get any words out. Bdubs blinked, then his eyes filled with tears. “No way. Tell me this is real.” “It has to be because we can’t be having the same dream,” Etho responded. “Well- unless one of us is a dreamwalker,” Bdubs chuckled, “but I doubt that's the case. God- Etho. I can’t believe it.” Etho looked like he was contemplating something before he asked a question so quietly Bdubs almost didn't hear “Can I hug you?” Bdubs didn’t bother with a verbal answer, throwing almost his whole body weight onto Etho.

“I'm sorry I didn't say bye, I didn’t even know I was leaving,” Etho muttered. Bdubs pulled away to look Etho in the eyes. “Is that what happened? God and I- Etho I.. you have no idea how much we missed you. How much I missed you.” “What did you think happened?” Etho asked, fidgeting with his slightly trembling hands, a result of a previous home placement. Bdubs didn’t notice the anxious movement, wiping tears out of his eyes. “I thought you just got tired of the ranch,” Bdubs explained, “and- I thought- I thought you just left without saying bye or keeping in touch or anything because- because you didn’t actually care that much. I thought I was being too sensitive- got attached to another friend too quickly.” Etho was frozen. “Fuck I’m so sorry I- I could have- should have tried to convice my social worker more or- or something,” Etho stuttered out. Bdubs gave him a gentle look. “Social workers suck sometimes. They think they know everything. That's not your fault, Etho. It- it might take me a bit to work through my emotions but I don’t blame you, okay?” “Okay” Etho smiled slightly. “Come on,” Bdubs took Etho’s hand in his. “Let’s go inside and talk there- it’s hot out here. I bet you’re dying in that jacket.” “Yeah,” Etho agreed, grabbing the few things he hadn't already sent to the dorms.

The two boys walked in and were greeted by a large man who introduced himself as TFC. Apparently he was the dorm “parent”, whatever that meant. Bdubs had already forgotten. Etho looked wary of the man but nodded along nonetheless. After the short introduction and TFC ensured they were indeed his new residents, he led them upstairs to where the bedrooms were, handing each a key and allowing them to get themselves settled. “Want to come to my room and talk?” Bdubs offered. “I’m sure there’s a lot we have to catch up on. It’s been- how many years?” “I left when I was like, 12, so about ... .fiveeee years?” Etho calculated. “Geez,” Bdubs clicked his tongue. “It felt like forever. Man- we almost missed each other’s whole highschool years!” Etho nodded a bit. Guilt crept in at that thought- of missing Bdubs’ most formative years, of maybe having never seen him again. He felt guilty for leaving Bdubs, even if it wasn't his fault. “Well,” Bdubs continued after a moment, “I’m glad you’re here now. And hey- still a whole year until graduation! Plenty of time to catch up.” Etho nodded again trying to be optimistic for his friend.

When they got to Bdub’s room, Bdubs threw his stuff on top of the dorm bed. “You can set your stuff wherever. I’m just going to unpack the essentials.” “Thanks,” Etho said, setting his bags in the corner. “You know,” Bdubs continued, digging into one of his bags, “Mr. Bleason still works the ranch. I bet he remembers you. Our spots are full right now, but I bet Guude and I could pull some strings- get you registered if you are interested.” “That would be cool…but I don't think I can anymore. My hip got messed up a couple placements ago. But i would love to visit ""Im so sorry to hear that,” Bdubs frowned. “That’s horrible. But hey- you could always be a stable-hand! God knows we need more of those.” “That would be nice,” Etho smiled, taking off his mask. He felt comfortable enough around his old friend to do so. “I should get you Guude’s number,” Bdubs continued rambling as he found his phone. “He missed you too. I bet he’d be ecstatic to hear from you.” Etho nodded, getting the number and saving it for later.

“Anyways,” Bdubs turned back to Etho. “Any new friends you made?” he smirked. “Or maybe a girlfriendddd?” “Absolutely not. I’m actually aroace, thank you. And I don’t think I got all that close with anyone after you and Guude” Etho said, playing with his hoodie strings. “Aroace?” Bdubs repeated. “What’s that mean?” “It basically means I don't experience any attraction to anyone, romantically or sexually. But it's a spectrum so it's different for everyone.” Etho explained. “Huh,” Bdubs turned the thought over in his head. “That’s cool that there’s a name for that!” “What about you? Any new friends or a partner?” Etho asked. “Alas,” Bdubs sighed, “I am destined to be alone forever, it seems. And as far as friends go, I..” he trailed off. “it ‘s been rough.” Etho frowned slightly at that

“Both of us are a mess hm?” Etho asked quietly. “I-” Bdubs started, looking like he was about to say something grand, but then he deflated and sighed. “Yeah. That’s- certainly one way to put it. I mean god- my parents divorced too. No partner, no friends, no family- but I guess you’ve always kind of felt that way huh?” “Yeah,” Etho nodded solemnly. “I get it … the divorce part but the- well, everything else.” “Honestly, it's probably for the best,” Bdubs murmured. “They were fighting all the time. Almost daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. I’m just glad they never got physical. But it still- hurts. Really bad,” Bdubs started to cry a little. “My mum wanted nothing to do with me- just wanted to start a new life away from my dad. And I guess that included me, too. But my dad doesn’t really want a child from a broken marriage so… Here I am!” he laughed bitterly. Etho gave Bdubs an empathetic look. “I get the feeling. My foster parents would do that a lot… the fighting, they didn't want a broken kid I guess.” “You’re not talking about yourself, are you?” Bdubs walked over to stand beside him. “You’re not broken, Etho.” “They seem to think so.” Etho huffed with a distant look in his eyes. Bdubs hummed.

“Well, for a pair of messes, we at least make a pretty good team,” Bdubs tried. “Remeber when we kids? And there was that one race where we tied for first? We never did decide who was the better racer, did we?” Etho laughed slightly, shaking his head no. “Everyone was so sick of us arguing about it” “Yeah,” Bdubs chuckled. “If only you could accept your defeat.” “My defeat!” Etho exclaimed incredulously “No! You accept yours!” “I would, if I had actually lost,” Bdubs grinned. Etho gasped “I didn’t lose!” “Only by a technicality. Your horse was bigger than mine. Therefore, I was closer to the finish line.” “No it was not-”

This went on for another 45 minutes and they still had not agreed upon a winner by the time TFC came and knocked on Bdub’s door, calling them down for dinner.

Afterwards, Bdubs assisted Etho set up his own room, helping him set up his bed, hang posters and alternative forms of lighting to the space so Etho wouldn’t have to use the bright overhead light all the time. Once they were done, they both laid on Etho’s bed, sideways, with Etho on the top half and Bdubs on the bottom. They laid like that for a while, recovering from the physical exhaustion of move-in day.

“Etho?” Bdubs murmured after a bit. “Hm?” Etho hummed, too tired for words. “I really am glad you’re here,” Bdubs said, almost whispering. “It’s kinda like- I have a piece of family still with me. I mean, I know we’re not family, and we haven’t really talked in years but … I still really care about you. I want you to know that. And hey, whatever happens this year, I promise I won’t leave your side. Not again.” Etho smiled moving closer to Bdubs and intertwined his pinky with Bdubs’. It was his silent way of agreeing that Bdubs had seen time and time again when they were younger. Bdubs smiled brightly.

In that moment, both of them shared a little hope that things could get better going forward. Maybe they were both a mess. Maybe they were both broken. But they were together, after all this time. Together, they could do anything. Together they were safe.

Chapter Text

Mumbo sat in his room. He was thinking about one of his new projects when he got a rather peculiar thought. "You're a disappointment". It felt like nothing more than that, a thought, so mumbo just shrugged it off continuing to brainstorm a new design for a little robot alarm clock that will carry a bottle of water to him in the morning. He wasn't sure how exactly he would manage it yet, but that's what brainstorming was for. As mumbo reached for his pencil sharpener to continue his sketch, the voice in his head said "take it apart". Mumbo tried to ignore it, but it started to berate him, repeating over and over. So mumbo does. After, the voice takes a turn for the worst. Mumbo hesitates, trying to fight, but the voice keeps insisting, and he'd never had a particularly high mental fortitude. So he does what the voice says.

He cuts his skin with the blade- once, twice- again, then again, until his arm is covered in blood. Staring at the mess, as suddenly as he'd been possessed, the voice was drowned out by panic. "No, no, no, no no no no" he mutters to himself before grabbing his phone and texting Xisuma that he needs him and Ex because they are the only ones he knows will understand. Mumbo had no clue what to do. Weren’t you supposed to put pressure on wounds? With what? Mumbo hissed as he placed a hand over some of the cuts. It stung, but he kept the pressure there.

Xisuma was listening to music with Exsona and drawing when he got a text from Mumbo that he needed Xisuma and his brother in his room and it's an emergency. Xisuma immediately put his materials down "Ex, we need to go to Mumbo's room" "Why?" Exsona asked with a frown. "I got a text that he needs us and it's urgent". Instantly Ex is on his feet and out the door, Xisuma following close behind. They knocked gently on Mumbo’s door before walking in and locking the door. They are met with a gruesome sight. Mumbo is in the corner of the room, by his desk, sobbing and hyperventilating, his arm covered in blood.

"Oh Mumbo,” Xisuma murmured. He made his way to get the first aid kit from under his sink, one that everyone is required to have in their room. Exsona makes attempts to calm Mumbo down. They murmured to each other for a moment before Exsona slipped off his jacket to show his own scars and cuts. “You're not alone,” Exsona said, loud enough for Xisuma to overhear. Mumbo seemed to relax slightly. Xisuma brought the first aid kit over. He took off his jacket as well, not to show Mumbo, but to make sure his sleeves didn't get in the way.

Exsona continued comforting Mumbo while Xisuma cleaned his arm. Mumbo was breathing a lot more evenly now, interrupted only by post-crying hiccups. "Mumbo?, are you feeling better?" Exsona asked gently as Xisuma finished wrapping the wounds. Mumbo just shrugs curling further into Exsona’s side. "Do you want to talk about it?" Xisuma asks. "No" mumbo mutters almost silently. "Ok. You don't have to,” Xisuma murmured gently. “Why don't you take a nap, we will be here when you wake up" Exsona suggests, picking Mumbo up and putting him on the bed. Mumbo just nods, falling asleep a few minutes later. Exsona and Xisuma get comfy on the floor, just putting in their earbuds and calming themselves down from the stress and emotions.

Mumbo recovered well, with assistance from Xisuma and Exsona. He remained clean all throughout the healing process. Overall, he was a good patient, and Xisuma decided not to tell TFC- not yet. It seemed like a one time thing, anyway, even if mostly he just didn't want Mumbo to rat him and Exsona out.

The two of them were in it deep.

But for now mumbo is safe and everyone is as happy as they can be.

Chapter Text

TFC was making grilled cheese for dinner not realizing Impulse was in the adjacent room. TFC turned on the burner, which clicked as the flame lit. When TFC turned around to get the oil, Impulse, who had seemingly just entered the kitchen, was frozen in place.

Impulse’ mind was nowhere close to reality. Instead, all he could think of was the scar on his arm, burning, searing pain, his parents holding him down against the stovetop. Screaming internally, he took a few steps back until he was in the corner of the room. He held his arm up to his chest as if it were injured. He could hear a muffled voice but it sounded like he was underwater, drowning. He couldn’t hear anything clearly but his own whimpering- he couldn't breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe, why couldn’t he BREATHE-

"IMPULSE" a voice called firmly. Impulse yelped and jumped, suddenly pulled back to reality. His chest was tight and his nails were digging into his own arm. His head hurt from lack of oxygen. He looked up to see TFC in front of him. Someone was holding him and trying to pull his hand away from his arm gently. "Are you with us?" TFC asked. Impulse nodded. "Okay. A few deep breaths with me, okay?" TFC coaxed. He breathed in deeply, loudly enough for Impulse to hear. Impulse followed suit. By the time Impulse calmed, he was exhausted and slumped into whoever was holding him. He looked up slightly and saw Skizz, who gave him a gentle smile. "Hey buddy, how are you doing?" Skizz was playing with Impulse’s hair. "Tired" Impulse mumbled, already half asleep. "Get some rest impulse" TFC says before Impulse fell asleep fully. He woke up a few times as they moved him somewhere, but not enough to really process more than the fact he was being moved. When he woke up properly a few hours later, he was in Skizz's room with Skiz, Tango, and Zed all cuddled around him. They were all asleep, as well. Impulse smiled a little to himself. He looked at his arm in the dim light of the bedside lamp. His skin had mostly healed, the only sign anything had ever happened was an odd chapped dark patch.

He sighed, relieved.

“I'm safe,” he reminded himself silently.

He was not in that home, and never will be again.

And anytime his brain tried to make him think he was, he had friends to pull him out of it.

Chapter Text

Scar had a problem. And no matter what he did it wouldn't go away. The pain was always persistent like that. Scar hated it. He hated missing out, watching the others have fun. He hated that he couldn’t run. He hated that half the time he couldn’t even stand. Certainly not without crutches. He hated it.

But it's not chronic knee pain. Sure, he needed accommodations, but when he had his accommodations, it didn’t hurt so bad. Sometimes he even forgot it was there. His knee just always hurts- just always that little bit. But that didn’t mean it was chronic knee pain.

Right?

Chapter Text

Silence. Silence is sometimes louder than words. Silence is sometimes peaceful. Other times silence is suffocating. It feels like a weight on your chest. It feels like the walls are caving in. It feels like you're drowning. It feels like you're dying or it can be freeing. It can be an escape. Etho is dealing with the suffocating kind. the kind of silence that makes you want to disappear. and he can't get out.

Chapter Text

Today was a special day, and not just because it was the weekend. .TFC had finally been permitted to take his students to the animal shelter. Scar and xB in particular had been looking forward to the trip for almost two months. xB, Ren and Jimmy wanted to get stuff for their service animals, and Scar wanted to adopt an animal to raise to be his ESA. So the school allowed TFC to rent a bus and buy lunch for everyone. By 9:45am, 15 minutes before the bus was to arrive, everyone was gathered downstairs with their things, chatting excitedly. Even those who weren’t the biggest fan of animals had to admit the the idea of a field trip was exciting.

10am rolled around, and TFC led the students outside to the bus. Once on, TFC walked down the isle and did a headcount, passing everyone 30$ cash to spend on lunch. The students had a small allowance from the school, which they had saved up in advance to be able to purchase nic-nacks. The bus ride itself wasn’t longer than 20 minutes, but that didn’t mean they didn’t end up with a bus full of teenagers scream-singing lyrics along to the song playing off of Jimmy’s speaker ‘Washing machine heart’ by Mitski in particular . Once they arrived, TFC had them turn off the music so he could remind them of the rules. "Alright everyone. Remember- buddy system. You must be in a group of 2 or more at any given time. Be respectful to others, and don’t start any trouble. We will depart again at 12:00 to head to lunch, but you can always come back to the bus if you feel like it beforehand. Can I get a thumbs up from everyone to make sure you heard everything?" TFC receives a thumbs-up from everyone. He smiled. “Alright! You all have fun now,” he said, leading the way off the bus.

Most stayed on the bus, but plenty of them were happy to continue annoying the bus driver with out-of-tune singing. A few got off and wandered the store, looking at various animals, but Scar ended up being the only one to purchase an animal, even if Etho had been really enamored with that ball python. Ren helped by carrying Scar’s new kitten, who was named Jellie, and as soon as he got on the bus, held her up like Simba, announcing her name. The students cheered in support, and she was handed off to Scar to hold.

Ren ended up getting some toys and some boots for Blaze. XB getting a new brush and food bowl for Luna, while Jimmy got Daisy a bandana and a new collar. Scar, of course, had made sure to purchase a cat harness and leash for Jellie as well. Once everyone was happy with their purchases it was nearing time to leave. TFC did a headcount, double, triple checked that no one was missing, and then they were off to their second location.

The absolute chaos that broke loose as they pulled up to Raising Canes was indescribable. After they got their food they ate happily on the way to the park, quiet chatter amongst them. Once they returned to the school, most of the students made their way to their rooms, exhausted from the day, even if it had been fun. Scar and a few others remained downstairs, playing with Jellie using the toys Scar had purchased and filming videos of their new companion. Poor Blaze seemed terrified of her. Eventually, they drifted to their rooms as well, and TFC went to his office to relax.

He was doing some work when he got a message from the group chat between him and his students. Xisuma had sent a picture of himself standing on the bus seat, everyone else somewhere in the space behind him, smiling. They were all happy. And that made TFC’s heart soar with joy. All he wanted was to bring these kids happiness, and he seems to have succeeded, even if just for a moment.

TFC made a mental note to print out the picture next time he had the opportunity to go to a store with a photo printer.

Chapter Text

Martyn was laying in bed. not moving. just laying there. staring at the ceiling. Existing. He doesn't know how long he was laying there before there was a knock on the door followed by Jimmy coming in and sitting on the end of the bed with some water and crackers in hand. "Martyn, I need you to drink something for me," he said in a gentle tone. He knows I won't move myself so he gets the items on my nightstand and sets me up against the wall. He then grabs the water and helps me drink it, careful not to let any spill. "Good job you did so good," he said, laying me back down.

A similar routine went on for a few days one day when Jimmy's comes in Martyn is already upright. Jimmy was thrilled but Martyn still wasn't 100% so day after day Jimmy helped he forces Martyn to eat drink and sleep. He kept the others away because when this happens Martyn only wants Jimmy

Martyn might feel trapped but at least he has his brother to make sure he's ok.

Chapter Text

Today is the day that Jimmy’s parents are finally coming to visit him. Admittedly, he’s a little excited, but he tries not to get ahead of himself. He tries to instead focus on getting ready, dressing in some blue jeans, cowboy boots and a black jacket he stole from Hypno. He fixes his hair, looks in the mirror briefly before picking up Daisy’s leash and harness, getting her ready too. Jimmy then went downstairs to take his morning meds. After that, there’s nothing to do but wait. Jimmy was a storm of emotions. He hated his parents. But he loved them, too. They were crap at parenting, always had been, but they had always been- well, there. Sure, he spent most of his time at boarding schools, but between schools, his parents were there. And they were the ones who paid for Daisy, so credit where credit was due, right?

As it approached the time, Jimmy wished everyone a good day then made his way through campus to the building where these meetings were held. TFC went with him, as he did for every parent-child meeting. The whole way there, Jimmy was a nervous ball of emotions. Waiting just outside while TFC debriefed Jimmy’s parents on how he’d been doing, Jimmy could feel his chest start to tighten. That is, until Daisy jumped up and tried to lick his face. He chuckled and gently guided her away from his face. God he loved her.

Eventually TFC walks out of the meeting room. He had a sort of grim look on his face, but gestured for Jimmy to enter. Jimmy couldn’t help the way his hopes soared. His parents were here. To talk to him. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

When he entered, both of them were on their phones. "Mom! Dad!" Jimmy greets excitedly. "Sit down Jimmy," his father says with a bored voice, almost a sigh. Jimmy’s heart nearly stops, but he nods and sits down. Daisy sat down next to him, patient as always while he pet behind her ears. "We were just gonna call but we thought it was best to do this in person," his father continued. Jimmy swallowed his dread, but could never have prepared himself for the next words. |

"You're no longer our son,” his mother said. His world ruptured. “You seem happy here, so we will leave you here. You’ll have a fund of money from us to use as you please, but don't contact us ever again" his mother says with a deadpan emotionless voice. With Jimmy still in silence with shock, the two of them get up and leave the room. TFC entered shortly after. He frowned upon seeing Jimmy.

“Jimmy-” “They... disowned me…,” Jimmy whispered. His eyes started to tear up as the words settled in. “They disowned their own son!” he cried. He curled up in the chair and started sobbing into his knees. Daisy rose up to try to calm him down, but even she could only do so much. TFC rubbed his back gently. They stayed like that for a while.

“Jimmy?” TFC murmured. “It’s ten minutes after your session ended. We need to get a move on so they can use this room, okay?” Jimmy didn’t really react. When TFC removed his hand, Jimmy stood up. The walk back to the dorm building was silent. Jimmy went straight to his room, ignoring concerned questions, and just fell laid down to sleep. Daisy, harness still on, jumped into bed and crawled between his arms, wining softly. Jimmy hugged her close.

He may be unwanted by everyone, but at least he’ll always have Daisy.

Chapter Text

Jimmy hadn't been the same since his parents last visited. Something had happened, Tango was sure of it. He just couldn't for the life of him figure out what. Jimmy refused to talk about it and TFC said that the information he had was private, and not something he could share with him. So Tango was left to investigate.

It wasn't so far-fetched to believe that it was just the act of Jimmy's parents meeting him in person that did this. Most of them had very strained relationships with their parents. Some had even gone no contact, or were in the process of it. But Jimmy still had always talked about loving his family. They were horrible, and the things Jimmy had shared about how his family had treated him made Tango feel like every part of his being was on fire with rage. But Jimmy still loved them. He was scared of them, terrified, but he craved their love and attention.

So shouldn't a visit have been a good thing? It showed that they cared about him, didn't it? It's not like Tango's parents had come and visited after sending him off.

But again, Jimmy had changed. He hardly left his room and the light in his eyes was dimmer. He had more frequent moments of excusing himself suddenly- which everyone knew was an unspoken way of saying ‘I'm having a breakdown or panic attack and don't want anyone else to see it’. They were all supportive of each other, of course, but when you have a history of your privacy and space being constantly violated by the people who were supposed to love you, and they failed to give you support in the process, you learned it was better to handle it alone. TFC was encouraging of them to be more open with each other, but it was a slow progression.

So needless to say, Jimmy was struggling. And rather than seeking support, he was just curling in on himself more.

It hurt to watch his friend suffer, but Tango didn't know what to do. He had no idea how to get Jimmy to talk to him.

“Where ya at?”

Tango snapped out of his thoughts and turned towards Scott.

“Huh?”

“You looked zoned out,” Scott pointed out. “Are you even watching the movie?”

Tango gave a guilty look. How long had he been wasting electricity? Scott chuckled and settled beside Tango, just about a foot away. It was close enough for all of Tango's synapses to start rapid firing.

Tango didn't have the best experience with touch. Most of the interaction he got from others was his dad, who kept touch to a bare minimum. Others in Tango's life had overstepped his boundaries. So having someone so close was nerve-wracking. As much as he was worried for Scott to do something to make him uncomfortable, he almost craved attention. He wanted Scott to pat his shoulder, or knock their knees together, something friendly but short and sweet. But Tango stayed still and said nothing. Forcing touch only ever made it stiff and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

“If you're not gonna tell me what you're thinking about, at least tell me about the movie, yeah?” Scott prompted. Tango nodded, smiling.

“Sure! It's actually- one of my favorites.” Tango admitted sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “I know it's a bit childish, but it's a good story, plus there's actually so much attention to detail and a basic understanding of physics! Like- see!” Tango pointed to the screen. “Just there, they showed the sympathetic movement of how an interaction here caused movement over there. Its small things like that that make it such a beautiful movie to watch- it almost feels realistic, if not for the animation style.” Scott hummed and nodded.

“Yeah, that is pretty cool. What's it about, though?”

“Its about this robot named Rodney,” Tango starts to explain, “and he is raised by a poor family, but he has really big dreams of growing up to work for a company that makes spare parts to help those who need them, and to support his aging parents who have worked so hard to make his life the best it can be. It's really sweet. Anyways, he’s currently trying to pay off some debt when he meets Fender, who introduces him to a group of robots known as the “Rusties”, robots who are entirely dependent on spare parts and-” Tango went stiff as Scott curled up and put his head on Tango’s shoulder, arms draped around Tango in a sort of hug. “Uhh…” Tango trailed, unsure what was happening.

“Keep goin’” Scott encouraged. “It sounded like we were getting to the good part.”

“Are you okay?” Tango asked before he could stop himself.

“Yeah, just sleepy,” Scott murmured.

“Go to bed, then?”

“Nah,” Scott chuckled slightly “I like it here. You're comfy.” Tango laughed, nervous, but also admittedly liking the compliment.

“I don't think I've ever been described as comfy. Boney, sure. Easy to carry. Cute, hot, generally attractive. Nice is maybe the closest. But not really comfy.”

“Well, you are comfy,” Scott insisted. “You're warm and funny and just… easy to be around.” Tango blinked a few times and hoped Scott didn't notice him trying not to cry.

“Thanks.”

Scott hummed and shifted slightly, settling in more. Tango decided to turn off the TV, knowing neither of them were watching it. Silence settled but… it was a good silence.

“This.. is nice,” Tango murmured.

“It is,” Scott agreed. “Affection is nice.”

“Affection?” Tango repeated, unsure what Scott meant.

“Yeah. Cuddles. Affection. Its nice.”

“Gross,” Tango laughed a little. “...but you're right. It is nice.”

Tango settled in slightly, shifting to be more comfortable and letting his head rest against the top of Scott's. He closed his eyes and took in the moment.

Yeah. Affection was nice.

—

Tango took a deep breath before knocking on the door to Jimmy’s room. Tango had been in Jimmy's room only a handful of times, as they tended to mostly hang out in Tango’s room or secluded spaces in public such as the park nearby. But, it had been a while since they had hung out. It didn't seem like Jimmy was avoiding Tango specifically, so much as avoiding everyone, but it still stung. More importantly, though, Tango was just worried sick.

“Who is it?” Jimmy called through the door. Tango felt a flash of desperate hope.

“Tango” he answered. There was a moment of silence, causing Tango to start feeling anxious. He was about to call out again when Jimmy replied.

“Come in”.

Tango pushed the door open slowly and gently. Jimmy was laid on his bed, the brown sheets pulled up around his shoulders, back to the door. It was dim in the room, the blinds closed, but the fairy lights around the edges of the headboard made it possible to see, at least. At the foot of the bed, tucked in the crook of Jimmy's legs was his service dog, Daisy, a golden retriever. Daisy had her head raised, and upon recognizing Tango, began to wag her tail, though she stayed loyally by Jimmy's side.

“Hello to you too, Daisy,” Tango smiled softly, closing the door behind him to give them privacy. Tango looked at Jimmy, who still hadn't moved or really acknowledged Tango’s existence other than inviting him in.

“We uh… missed you at lunch,” Tango started, moving to sit on the corner of the bed by Daisy, petting her.

“.. sorry,” Jimmy murmured, his voice sounding taut as if he might cry.

“It's okay!” Tango assured. “We- we saved you some food, though, since Doc cooked. He made this chicken that is just- im not even sure whats on it but it tasted amazing.”

There was a moment of quiet, and then Jimmy curled in on himself.

“Hey,” Tango frowned, “You okay?” He immediately cringed at his own question. Obviously the answer was no. Jimmy hadn't been okay in a while now.

“I'm sorry,” Jimmy croaked out, voice cracking slightly.

“Hey, hey, no,” Tango murmured, "It's all good! We have leftovers in the fridge for when you're ready, it's not a big deal. We understand that things have been hard for you recently, so no hard feelings over skipping meals.” Jimmy nodded, but his shoulders jerked. He was crying silently. Tango’s heart tore a little seeing his friend, not only in pain, but feeling the need to hide it. “Hey…” Tango put a hand on Jimmy's shoulder. “You're… do you want to talk about it?”

Jimmy shook his head.

“N-no… y-you can go,” he managed. “You don't have to stay with me.”

“I'm not leaving unless you want me to,” Tango moved to be a bit closer to Jimmy, and Daisy used the opportunity to squeeze between Jimmy's arms. “I’m here for you, man,” Tango murmured. Jimmy nodded and cried a bit harder, a bit more freely, now. Tango, as much as he wanted to support Jimmy, wasn't sure what to do with the tears. Tango had never really gotten much experience with helping others through emotions growing up. Words were his strong suit- talking things out in a way where he could put himself in their shoes, and work from there.

Tango racked his brain for what to do. Sure, company itself is nice, so maybe just sitting was all Jimmy needed, but watching his friend have a breakdown and doing nothing felt wrong. Tango flipped through a few ideas in his mind until he stumbled across the memory of cuddling with Scott on the couch. Affection. Affection was nice and- well, it made Tango very happy. So maybe, just maybe, it could help Jimmy feel a bit better, too.

“Would you like me to give you affection?” Tango asked, somewhat nervous. Jimmy's tears seemed to pause for just a moment and he turned to Tango for the first time.

“What?”

Tango blushed, feeling now sheepish.

“Er- you know,” Tango waved a hand around, “Cuddles? Or hugs? Or just- just holding your hand if you'd prefer.” Jimmy was quiet again as he considered what Tango had said. Tango bit the inside of his cheek. “If you don't want me to-”

“No, no,” Jimmy interrupted. “Cuddles… sound really good, actually.”

“Coming right up!” Tango smiled a little and settled so he was laying behind Jimmy.

It was a blessing Jimmy had a bed wide enough for Tango to hold Jimmy without having to press against him too hard, and still with room for Daisy to remain in Jimmy's arms. Tango let his chest touch against Jimmy's back and his arms drape naturally over Jimmy's waist. Jimmy was the one who closed the distance between them fully, scooting back to lean into Tango more.

“Is this okay?” they asked at the same time, practically in unison, which made them both laugh.

“I'm good, thank you,” Tango assured. “I uh- like this a lot… you?”

“It’s nice,” Jimmy nodded in agreement. “Thank you, Tango.”

“No problem,” Tango squeezed Jimmy just slightly before relaxing and letting Jimmy continue with whatever emotions he needed to let out.

Maybe he didn't know what Jimmy was going through. And maybe he never would. And maybe Tango was better with his words, but he was starting to think he was pretty good at cuddles too, and that had to count for something.

Chapter Text

It was no surprise that given Tango's upbringing that he is touch starved. Even the smallest touch fills him with joy but he doesn't know why. So when he's sitting in the living room watching a movie when Scott comes in exhausted and curls up on him he's very confused. "What is this?" he asked confused "Affection" Scott replied falling asleep "Gross... do it again." and that's the story of how tango learned about this magical thing called affection.

Chapter Text

Everyone who knows Hypno knows that he has his struggles with food. He doesn’t exactly try to hide it. Some days he's fine and can eat no problem. But on other days he either skips meals or eats such small portions that there's hardly a point in him eating at all. At first he would find different excuses as to why he wasn’t eating, but as the others began to put the pieces together, he gave up and resorted to simply saying “I'm just tired" before going to his room.

The problem with Hypno was that nobody knew how to help him. While some of the others had struggled with food scarcity at some point in their life, none of the other students had any experience with eating disorders- especially not one as complex as Hypno. Due to his weight, Hypno didn’t qualify for any restrictive disorders like anorexia, but he didn’t purge in the way someone with bulimia might. He would overeat at times, but not very often, excluding binge eating from the list as well. He was just a mix of odd habits and inappropriate behaviors. He wanted out- wanted this to stop. He just wasn’t sure how. So he gave up and gave in to the rules and impulses that controlled his eating habits.

Wels wasn’t so willing to give up on him.

It wasn’t easy, of course. Wels wasn’t in Hypno’s head, meaning he could only do so much guesswork as to what might be the issue. He was no psychologist, but he did have theories Hypno’s eating habits were a result of his aunt. He hadn’t said anything, but Hels had noticed that in the few days after her last visit Hypno avoided the kitchen altogether and was generally more down on himself. So no, he wasn’t sure, but he had his suspicion. Knowing this, he hoped that affirmations could help undo some of the damage done in Hypno’s childhood. This was not Wels’ only plan- he was smart enough to know that complex disorders took complex solutions. He spent weeks doing in-depth dives, watching YouTube videos, reading articles and research papers- anything he could find that was relevant. Eventually, he decided that he had enough for a start, so he gathered up his notes and went to Hypno’s room.

Hypno heard a knock on his door around 6pm, which he considered weird as 6pm was around the time most people were eating dinner. “Yeah?” he called out the door with a confused tone. “Who is it?” “It’s Wels,” Wels replied, “May I come in? I want to talk to you.” “Sure” Hypno said, getting up and unlocking the door. Wels smiled warmly as he entered the room. “Hey. How are you doing?” “Im ok,” Hypno smiled slightly. “Glad you’re doing alright. Mind if I take a seat?” “Go right ahead,” Hypno gestured to the bed. Wels sat on the end of the bed and started tabbing through the papers in his hands, reviewing his points before he started actually speaking. “Why aren’t you downstairs?” Wels asked gently. “I’m not going to judge you, I just want an honest answer.” Hypno looked down and tried to make himself seem smaller. “Just tired,” Hypno said quietly. Wels frowned.

“You know… if you’re tired, food is a great way to fuel your body. What if you come downstairs with me and we just get something light, okay? Then you can come back here and go to bed.” “No!” Hypno said a little too quickly, freezing in place. Wels took a deep breath and tried to keep himself collected. “Why not?” he questioned softly. “If you’re worried about something, I want to help you. You understand that, right? I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I do want to help you. I know you’re not eating right, Hypno.” “I know, I know, my aunt already told me I'm eating too much, you don't have to remind me.”

“Oh, Hypno, no,” Wels murmured. “Hypno, you’re not eating enough. That’s what I meant. I don’t care what your aunt says, you need food for energy and so that your body can recover instead of destroying itself. But I know that change can be scary so I thought that.. Well, I thought that maybe we could do it together?” “I can't. She wants to see me every weekend and she’ll know.” Hypno said anxiously. “Hypno, you are the only one with the right to change your body. I know that people can be mean, and tell us to do things that they want us to do, but ultimately, she can’t force anything to happen. She can’t even withdraw you until the end of the school year.” “I guess she can't even legally take me anywhere…or do anything.” Hypno mumbled to himself. Wels smiled softly. “Yeah? Well, that’s good. It means you’re one step closer to being independent. You can make your own decisions. Don’t worry about her, Hypno. Just focus on you and your health.” Hypno sighed “Can we eat in here” he asked quietly. Wels nodded. “Of course, anything that helps. I’ll eat alongside you, if you’d like.” “That would be nice…” Wels got up and gave Hypno a tight hug.

“Can we also talk to TFC about me not seeing her anymore..” Hypno asked quietly. “Yeah. If she can’t legally remove you from the school, then you don’t owe her anything. Are you legally emancipated?” “My parents left me at a fire station when I was a baby and was raised in the system, but my aunt is the only biological family member who wanted to talk to me.” “Wait, so she’s not your legal guardian?” “No the school is technically” “Well, then that makes us legal siblings,” Wels chuckled lightly, though he knew it really wasn’t all that funny if you thought too hard about it. Hypno laughed slightly. “Yeah.” Wels couldn’t help a small smile. “Well then, brother, let’s go find something to eat, yeah?” “Only a little” Hypno emphasized getting up. “Only a little,” Wels nodded. “Just a snack even, nothing crazy.”

The two of them went downstairs getting their respective meals before going back to Hypnos' room. Wels had made an effort to grab something similar to Hypno, and that the proportions were somewhat similar. He didn’t want to make Hypno feel weird about getting so little in comparison. Besides, Wels could always eat more later. Hypno was just picking at his chicken and rice, taking a bite every so often. “So,” Wels started, getting out his phone, “want to watch something? I’ve heard it can help take your mind of- things.” Wels got an eager nod in return. Hypno hadn’t specified anything, so Wel’s picked up where he left off on a long-form video about the effectiveness of various pieces of modern clothing against medieval weapons. It seemed to work as Hypno stopped picking at his food as much as he was actually eating it. Wels kept his thoughts about it to himself, finishing his own food just after the next video on autoplay started. Wels waited until Hypno stopped eating before offering to take the dishes downstairs.

“Please” hypno said quietly, clearly upset still. Wels hummed and picked up Hypno’s bowl. “Are you alright to be alone for a minute? I’ll be right back.” “mhm.” Upon confirmation, Wels went downstairs, scraped the remnants of food into the trash and rinsed the dishes in the sink before returning to Hypno’s room. Eating was hard, but the 30 minutes after were critical as well. When he got back to Hypno’s room he saw his friend curled up staring at the door to the bathroom like it had taunted him. Wels cleared his throat to get Hypno’s attention. “I’m back. Are you okay?” Hypno jumped as he didn't hear Wels come back. “Ah-uh yeah I'm fine.” Wels casually stood between Hypno and the bathroom. “Wanna play this new video game I got? There’s still a few hours before lights out, so plenty of time to get into a new run.” “Can we play tomorrow? And just stay here for awhile..” Hypno asked so quiet Wels almost didn't hear him. Wels nodded, moving to sit by Hypno. “Yeah, we can do that too,” he smiled.

“Sorry you have to deal with me” Hypno mumbled. Wels shook his head. “Don’t apologize. Or- well, you can if you want, but I don’t think you have anything to be guilty over. We all have our demons, as they say. And hey, my last name is Knight, so you know, it’s kinda like fighting demons is something I was destined to do!” Hypno laughed quietly “Still it shouldn't be on you to make sure I eat a normal amount” “Well, too bad, I’m making it my job anyway,” Wels shrugged. “You’re my friend, Hypno. I care about you. And if you need a little extra support, I’m going to give it to you, to the best of my ability.” Hypno hugged wells tightly “Thank you Wels.” “Anytime, Hypno,” Wels hugged back.

And ever since then, it became routine for them to eat meals together, even getting special permission from TFC to eat dinner in Hypno’s room, should Hypno be having a bad day. Sometimes, Hypno wouldn’t eat at all, but Wels always encouraged him, offering bites of his own food if nothing else. It wasn't perfect but it was better than nothing. And when Hypno slowly started to look healthier, the bags under his eyes reducing somewhat and a healthier colour to his skin, Wels said nothing. He only smiled proudly from a distance whenever he noticed Hypno willingly eating a snack on his own. And when they completed their run of the new game Wels had been dying to play.

Chapter Text

Xisuma and Exsona watched as Impulse was carted upstairs. The poor boy had a flashback that had completely knocked him out, just as TFC was about to start dinner- which was why Xisuma and Exsona had come downstairs anyway. TFC had said something about grilled cheese in the text chat, but now he was busy helping Skizz and Doc carry Impulse- who wasn’t exactly a light person. Xisuma hesitated, looking into the kitchen. The stove top had been turned off as soon as TFC had noticed Impulse, but everything else was left out. Xisuma waited a minute, and then another, and then another. TFC still hadn’t returned. Xisuma pursed his lips and headed into the kitchen, putting the cheese back in the fridge, closing the bread bag, and corking the oil.

“What are you doing?” Exsona whispered. “Cleaning up,” Xisuma answered, just a quiet. “No good, all this food going bad.” He put the bed back on the shelf. “Come on. Let’s go back upstairs. Seems like dinner is going to be a while.” Exsona nodded, and the twins headed upstairs again. It was ten minutes later when TFC returned. He immediately noticed the kitchen had changed.

“Who put the food away?” he asked into the other room. “Not sure, but I saw the twins walk in there,” Mumbo said, looking away from the conversation he was having with False.

TFC took note to thank the twins later.

—

Xisuma cleared his throat quietly. “TFC?” The man, who was in the office with the door open, looked up from a book. “Yes? Can I help you?” “Maybe,” Xisuma hummed, “but it’s more about Impulse than me.” “Oh?” TFC prompted. “Should you come in and close the door, maybe?” Xisuma hesitated, but nodded and did so. He didn’t sit down, though, remaining right by the door. TFC let him.

“I was thinking,” Xisuma said, looking at the floor, “Impulse doesn’t like the stove, does he?” “So you’ve noticed,” TFC hummed. “Yes. He has a trauma that involves stoves. But I can’t tell you more than that.” “I know, I know,” Xisuma nodded. “I know. I was just thinking that maybe it would be good to get a stovetop cover? They make wooden ones that look really nice. I’ve found one that's pretty cheap. I-if the school won’t cover it, maybe I could-” "Nonsense," TFC cut him off. Xisuma flinched. “I meant about you paying for it,” TFC clarified. “A stove top cover sounds like a wonderful idea. Thank you, Xisuma, I hadn't thought of that.” Xisuma looked up and flashed a small, shy smile. “You’re welcome… can I uh… go now?” “Yes, you may,” TFC nodded. “Thanks again.”

Xisuma slipped out of the room quietly.

—

It was only a few days later when Xisuma was back in TFC’s office with a new concern.

“Yes?” TFC prompted. “I was thinking,” Xisuma murmured, “I know lights are supposed to be out at 9:45, but the others don’t really- go to bed,” he chuckled slightly. “They kinda just go to each other's rooms, which actually makes it harder to sleep if you’re next to one of the groups. So I was thinking, maybe we could extend the lights out by half an hour to 10:15? Just to give everyone a little more time to hang out and calm down before bed. And those who want to go to bed earlier can go to their rooms, and those who stay up later aren’t keeping them up.” “I wasn’t aware this was a problem,” TFC frowned. “Thank you, Xisuma. This is very helpful. I’ll definitely consider it.”

Xisuma nodded, smiled, and left.

—

By the end of the second week, Xisuma had visited TFC’s office multiple times. First it was the stovetop cover. Then it was lights out. Then it was the lock on Keralis’ door being broken. Shortly thereafter, he explained that he heard some of the others say they wanted vegetarian meal options. It continued from there. Every other day or so, Xisuma would approach TFC with a new concern. He worried about being annoying, but TFC had assured him how much he appreciated Xiusma’s willingness to tell him things, how it helped make sure everyone was more comfortable, which put Xisuma more at ease.

Still, Xisuma didn’t actually have any friends. He and Exsona mostly kept to themselves. That was actually why Xisuma noticed so much. He listened to other people, watched other people, picked up on mannerisms. It was something he and Exsona had always been particularly good at, but normally it was a defense mechanism. Using it to help others felt … nice.

“Yeah, and then he put an allyship flag in the plant on the table, and he has the progressive flag hung up outside his office now,” one of the other kids, Xisuma was pretty sure his name was Scott, commented. “It makes me feel a lot more seen, and safe, you know?” “For sure,” Grian nodded. “I really wasn’t sure how he was going to be about all the queer stuff, but he seems really supportive!” “Did you tell him you were trans?” Scott asked. Grian shook his head. “I thought you told him you were gay.” “Heck no,” Scott chuckled. “My parents are way too homophobic for me to tell my counselor. What if he tells them?” Xisuma cringed. “Oh,” Grian hummed. “Guess he must have just clocked us, then?”

“Actually…” Xisuma spoke up from the corner. “That was my fault.” “What?” Grian turned to him. Xisuma looked at the floor, fidgeting. “I-I didn’t mean to cause any trouble!” he defended immediately. “I just- heard you guys talking about queer stuff and how you were a little scared so I talked to him about it. He’s actually really supportive and loves to support queer people!” “You told him I was gay?” Scott questioned. “Not you specifically,” Xisuma murmured. “I just told him ‘some of us are queer’, that’s all, nothing more.” “Wow.. thank you,” Scott said. Xisuma looked up to see him and Grian smiling at him. “Yeah, I never would have had the confidence to approach him myself,” Grian rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Thanks bud.” “Yo- you’re welcome,” Xisuma smiled.

“Did you tell him about the vegetarian thing?” Bdubs asked from where he was sitting a bit away from Giran. Xisuma was pretty sure it was Etho sitting with him, but he wasn’t exactly sure. He was sure though, that he’d never heard the kid with the mask speak. “Or was that coincidence.” “Yeah, that too,” Xisuma nodded. “Thanks,” Bdubs smiled. “Etho doesn’t eat meat, so it was really nice of you to step up for him!” “It wasn’t a problem,” Xisuma assured with a smile in Etho’s direction, but Etho was too busy playing with his hoodie strings to notice.

“He also did a few other things,” Exsona said boldly. Xisuma turned around and glared at him for throwing him under the bus. Exsona just smiled. “Like what?” Scott asked. “Err…,” Xisuma fidgeted. “There was the stovetop thing. The cover. That was my idea. I also explained the light-out problem. I told him that Keralis’ lock was broken. A few other things, I can’t remember all of them.” “Someone’s been eavesdropping,” Grian smirked. Xisuma flushed. “I- I didn’t mean to- it’s just- I hear things sometimes and-” “Hey, calm down,” Grian said gently. “We’re not mad. In all seriousness, thank you. We don’t know TFC that well, so it’s kinda hard to approach him, ya know?” “He’s here to help,” Xisuma reminded. “But yeah, I get it. I was- really nervous the first time we talked. Glad I could help.” The group of teens shared some more smiles before Grian and Scott resumed conversation amongst themselves, as well as Bdubs and Etho. Xisuma let out a tight breath before making for the stairs. Exsona followed.

“That went over well,” Exsona said once they were back in the safety of Xisuma’s room. Xisuma gave him a deadpan stare. “You threw me under the bus! What the hell was that for!” “I knew they’d be grateful,” Exsona assured. “And look, they were. So you can’t be that mad at me.” Xisuma sighed and turned to his desk to draw. “Sure, whatever.” Exsona saw the smile Xisuma was trying to hide.

—

It was the second Friday when there was the second official meeting. TFC stood at the center of the room, the students spattered about in their groups. He had a stack of papers with him. Xiusma and Exsona were once again the last to arrive, but not as late as last time. Once he saw them, TFC cleared his throat and started speaking.

“So, as you all know, part of your contract is that you must participate in electing a student advocate.” Tango’s hand went up. “Uh, what’s that again?” “The student advocate is the student elected by the other students who works most closely with the dorm parent,” TFC explained. “Think of them like- a protective older sibling. They make sure you follow the rules, but also make sure your needs are acknowledged and listened to. If for some reason I am busy, they are in charge. And if I step out of line, it is their job to report me, so that any issues can be dealt with. Does that answer your question?” Tango nodded. “Good. Now, first I am passing out a QR code for self-nominations,” he explained, starting to hand out papers. “If you are interested in being a student advocate, make sure you enter your name into this form before Monday. Everyone got that?” Nods and agreements. When TFC handed the paper to Xisuma, he paused and looked Xisuma in the eyes meaningfully. Xisuma just wasn’t quite sure what that meaning was. “Next is the QR code for nominations,” TFC continued. “This is the form you will use to vote for the Student Advocate. Votes are due next Wednesday. If you forget to vote, you forfeit your vote. Everyone on the same page?” More nods and agreements. “Good,” he smiled. “That’s all I had, so unless there’s any questions, you may all go. Just make sure not to mix the forms up!”

—

Xisuma hung upside down on his bed, staring at the QR code across the room. “I don’t know, Ex. I don’t think it’s worth it.” “Sure it is,” Exsona insisted, “you’re practically already doing the job. Might as well make it official!” “I barely know their names!” Xisuma argued, sitting up. “I mean I know some of them, but I have no clue who some of the others are. Even if I do know their names, that doesn’t mean we’ve talked. They barely know me! Why would they vote for me?” “Okay, so maybe you have a point,” Exsona rolled his eyes, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a shot. Just, think about it? I really think you’d be a good match for the position.” “Sure,” Xisuma mumbled.

—

“Everyone settled?” TFC asked. He looked around the room, then down at his phone. “Alright. So, students who self nominated include Bdubs, Impulse, Skizz, Xisuma-” “That’s not right,” Xisuma interrupted. Everyone turned to look at him. TFC raised a brown. “Oh?” “I- I never submitted my name,” Xisuma said. “Your form is wrong.” “I did,” Exsona said, “I submitted your name.” Xisuma turned and glared at him. “You what,” he growled. “Now, now,” TFC interrupted, “both of you take deep breaths. Exsona, you really shouldn’t have done that. Xisuma didn’t submit his name for a reason, and now the votes will be skewed.” “Sorry,” Exsona said, looking… genuinely guilty. “I just thought… nevermind.” TFC sighed. “Okay. Xisuma. You’re not interested in being a student advocate, then?” “I-... I-I..” Xisuma stuttered. Everyone was looking at him. He swallowed. “Er- i-it's fine,” he decided. What were the chances he won, anyways. “I- I just wasn’t sure. But since my name is on the form, just count the votes as normal.” “Are you sure?” TFC pressed. Xisuma nodded.

“Then congratulations, Xisuma. You are now the elected student advocate.” Xisuma stiffened. “What?” “You got the most votes,” TFC answered. “That makes you the elected Student Advocate.” Xisuma looked around at the other students. Their gazes were… warm. Smiles. They were smiling at him. They were happy about this? “I- er- thank you,” Xisuma decided on saying. “It’s an honor.”

—

Back in the privacy of Exsona’s room, Exsona opened his mouth to speak when Xisuma hugged him. “Thanks, Ex,” he murmured. “For what?” Exsona frowned. “I put your name on the list when you said you didn’t want to- aren’t you- like- mad?” Xisuma pulled back to look Exsona in the eye. “Well… I guess you could say that I needed someone to advocate for me, this time.”

Chapter Text

There were days when Joe was fine. where he could do everything just fine. He could get through school, and the chaos that was his found family. But there are also days where breathing is too much for him where the feeling of his hair on his skin felt like he was being stabbed.

Today was one of those days.

When Joe woke up all he could think was "to mutch to mutch to mutch" but he had a test in English so he got up and got ready with his brain screaming at him. Thankfully English was his first period then he could come back to his room and sleep for the rest of the day.

Joe put on his favorite outfit. A soft hoodie with equally soft sweats and his favorite socks all of which makes his bad days more bearable. Thankfully he has first period with Bdubs, xisuma, Wels and Lizzy so if he really needs help he has some friends in that class and he shares a table with X so he should be fine. After he finished getting ready he went downstairs and drank a protein shake because if he had to eat something solid he's gonna cry.

He saw everyone else slowly file downstairs Xisuma and Exsona going to him to eat while he drinks his drink. They eat in a comfortable silence with the twins occasionally talking. Joe was thankful for his quiet natured friends. About 30 minutes later everyone left for class Joe stayed close to X the latter seeming to realize something was wrong with his normally semi outgoing friend. "are you ok?" X asked adjusting his mask on his face eyebrows wrinkling in concern. Joe nodded with a small smile as they sat down getting their pencils and notebooks out. As this was an open note exam. The teacher handed out the test and Joe appreciated the silence, actually calming down somewhat and finishing his test after about 35 minutes. It was another 20 minutes later when everyone finished the class was louder than ever.
Joe tried to act like everything was fine but X quickly realized his friend was overstimulated asking the teacher if the 2 of them could step out. The teacher said yes and X ushered Joe to the hallway and let the shaky boy just sit in the quiet offering him some headphones that he keeps on him.
Joe accepted the offer and reached for X wanting a hug. X compiles and apparently Joe fell asleep because he wakes up to X setting him in his room and covering him with a blanket. he grabs X's arm "thank you" he says X just replies with a smile and a nod before leaving the room letting Joe rest knowing he has friends that are there for him no matter what.

Chapter Text

It was a normal day for Gem. She followed her normal routine of getting up, getting ready, did her hair and makeup, and ate breakfast with the others. She went to class, ate lunch, finished classes, then went back to the dorms to relax. All in all, it had been an uneventful day right up until that evening.

She was sitting in the living room doing a puzzle with Etho when TFC walked over to her and kneeled down to get her attention. "Gem, your father is here to see you. Your step mom is here too,” upon hearing the mere mention of the women, Gem’s heart sank to her stomach. Etho gave her an empathetic look. TFC continued. “They are requesting a visit. Do you wish to see them?" TFC asked.

Gems parents never hurt her, so there was no proper, legal reason they couldn't visit. She could turn them away, but she missed her dad terribly. She’d put up with that witch if it meant she could see her father again. So she nodded. She offered to let Etho continue working on the puzzle, but they in turn offered to go to the visit with her. Gem knew she’d have steam to blow off after seeing her step mom, so she consented to him joining her and TFC on the walk over to the building.

Inside the room, Gem waited anxiously for her parents, Etho in a chair beside her. When Gem’s parents arrived, Etho eyed them up and down before slowly getting up and leaving the room, mumbling a “good luck” to Gem.

Gem waited until Etho had closed the door before turning to her parents. Her step mom was giving Gem a nasty look, and her dad looked deeply conflicted. "Dad,” Gem greeted warmly but quickly before turning to her stem mom, addressing her coldly. “Tiffany." "Ah Gemini, good to see you," her father said smiling. Gem hummed. “Why is she here?” she asked. Her father clicked his tongue. "I see you're still salty about what happened. I’m- I’m sorry,” he said. Gem rolled her eyes. As much as she had missed her father, she knew he was a pushover when it came to Tiffany. He would say he was sorry, but he wasn’t, not really. If he was, he would have left Tiffany when Gem made her case on why the woman would never be her mother.

“Why are you here, Dad?” Gem asked next. He averted his gaze down to his hands. It was only for a second, but that’s when Gem knew it was going to be bad. “I- er- well. I have some news.” He said. He paused, Gem waited silently. He took a breath and continued. “Tiffany and I are going to have a child together. Tiffany doesn't want you to know the baby-” “What!?” Gem yelled, standing and slamming her hands down on the table. “You’re having a child- my half-sibling, and I’m not allowed to meet them? Not even once? That’s bullshit.” Her dad flinched, but didn’t otherwise acknowledge her words. “I have people clearing out your room completely. They will send the rest of your belongings here, and you will stay here until you graduate. I hope you understand," her father Victor finished.

Gem stood in shock seeing her fathers emotionless face. He had always been a pushover, but he at least used to react when Gem got angry enough. Now, he only sat there, looking anywhere but at her. Like he didn’ want anything to do with her.

"Dad..." Gem’s voice broke, "are you serious!?" she said, hoping this was all some sick joke. "I am serious, Gemini,” he said. His voice tremored. “I am sorry but it's for the good of the baby." “How is this for the good of the baby?!” Gem demanded. “They’re my half-sibling!” “This is exactly why!” her father raised his voice back at her, shocking Gem into silence. He met her gaze for the first time since he’d broken the news. There were tears, but they never fell. “You know very well the sort of company you keep- trouble makers, punks! You can’t even control yourself! You can’t control your anger.” “Last thing we want is your bad habits rubbing off on my son,” Tiffany huffed, “Or for you to hurt the poor babe.” “I would never!” Gem growled at Tiffany. “You selfish hag- you-” “Gemini!” her father yelled at her. “That’s enough!” Gem looked to him again and couldn’t stand the look of disappointment in his eyes. He sighed. “That’s what we came to tell you. This meeting is over.”

“Wait!” Gem walked around the table as he parents walked towards the door. “Wait- Dad!” “Goodbye, Gemini,” he said, not turning over his shoulder to look at her. Gem froze in her tracks and watched them leave. She watched the door close. She tried to move, but all she could do was stand there, trembling with heartbreak and rage. Eventually, the door opened and Etho and TFC walked in.

“Gem?” Etho murmured. Before they could get anything else out Gem was throwing her arms around him, holding him tightly. They hesitantly hugged back before realizing she was crying. “Gem, what happened?” they asked softly. Gem just shook her head. “I just want to go home,” she whispered, voice wavering. Etho nodded and squeezed her gently before letting go. They let her hold his hand all the way back to the dorms, where they were met with Zedaph, Impulse, Tango and Skizz, who had been waiting ever since they caught wind of Gem’s parents visiting. Upon seeing her in tears, they descended upon her with hugs and murmurs of affirmations. She was shuffled upstairs to her room, where the boys took turns trying to get an answer out of her.

“They abandoned me,” she said, finally. “They’re kicking me out officially.”

“How dare they!” Skizz exclaimed. “Listen, Gem, you are a wonderful person. You’re kind and brave. I know it hurts, but know that it’s just because they’re too stupid and blind to see how amazing you are.”

“Jerks, the lot of them,” Tango nodded, agreeing. Impulse hugged her again.

“You’re ours. Okay? If they don’t want you, then that’s their mistake. But you’ll always be wanted here, got that?”

“Yeah,” Zed tagged on, “The little sister we never had,” he chuckled, messing with her hair. Gem laughed wetly.

“Thanks, guys. I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Impulse smiled. “Now how about we get Etho to bake us some cookies and we have a movie night?”

“Why do I have to bake?” Etho frowned. The others started engaging in lighthearted banter, and all Gem could do was smile.

They may not be the blood siblings she had always longed for, and they weren’t a replacement for what she had lost, but Gem was never more sure that she was wanted, loved, and belonged. She had a family, even if it wasn’t the one she’d been born into.

Chapter Text

Xisuma was exhausted. He'd been trying so hard to get better. He threw out all his blades. That didn't work. He got newer sharper ones. He set goals for himself. That didn’t work, either. He never made it more than 6 weeks. Xisuma doesn't even know the last time he felt ok. He knows he's not the only one struggling, but still he refuses to ask for help. Sometimes, in his lowest moments he’d ask himself why, but he was always met with the same answer. He doesn't deserve help. He deserves to hurt.

Exsona was even starting to notice something was wrong. Xisuma never wore t-shirts anymore unless he had a long sleeve underneath, regardless of any heat. He barely left his room and he was eating less and less. Ex was almost sick with worry that he was going to lose his brother, but he had no idea what to do when Xisuma wouldn’t tell him what was going on behind those locked doors.

Xisuma walked downstairs in a Godsmack hoodie with black jeans and black combat boots. Everyone was already downstairs, including Exsona, who Xisuma went and sat by after adding yogurt and fruit to a small bowl. Usually those foods were reserved for Hypno’s bad days, but Xisuma figured borrowing occasionally was alright because Hypno always has extra. He ate then went to his room putting on a bit of eyeliner smudging it out before he grabbed his bag. Once he was ready, he didn't wait for his friends or say much of anything, just left, heading to class

There was nothing unusual to his day, just the numb feeling that had become his new normal. It made him feel like he was suffocating. By now, he knew how to cope, though, at least long enough to make it home. He put his headphones in and listened to his usual playlist, just barely getting through the day. Finally he was able to go back to the dorms.

Xisuma went straight to his room as soon as he could, locking the door before going to the bathroom and grabbing his new box of blades from under the sink. He sat down against the sink cabinets, turning the blade over in his hand. Did he really want to do this? He was almost 2 months clean. He contemplates for a minute then goes to put the box away before his mind starts racing. He doesn't know what to do, so he freezes with the blades cradled in his hand. Eventually the urge gets too strong and he gives in. When Xisuma finally realizes just how far he’d gone, there was blood everywhere. He sighs, wrapping his arms and cleans up the blood.

Well he was gonna clean the blood before he was interrupted by Exsona knocking on the door “X, can we talk?” he called with a worried tone. “Yeah um one sec” Xiusma called back, rolling down his sleeves and closing the bathroom door behind him. He headed over to the door taking a deep breath before opening the door. “Hey Ex what did you need?” “Can I come in?” Exsona requested. “I want to ask you some questions. Privately.” “Sure,” X said skeptically. Exsona hummed and walked in, closing the door behind them. It avoided looking into the bathroom, having a suspicion on what he might find. “How was your day?” he asked, not casually, but treading lightly. “Fine, Yours” “It was alright,” Exsona shrugged. “Sorta missed walking to class together, though. I’ve noticed you’ve been leaving earlier and earlier. Got tutoring or something?” “No, I just needed some quiet,” Xisuma muttered. Exsona nodded, though it doubted that was the truth. “Right. So, what’s been up with you the last few weeks? Not sleeping well?” “Im sleeping fine Ex. Everything is fine,” he said frustrated. Unfortunately, Xisuma’s frustration with Exsona’s probing only stirred up Exsona’s frustration with a lack of truthful answers.

“No, it’s not,” Exsona said firmly, leaving no real room for argument. “It’s one thing for you to eat less. It’s one thing for you to spend more time alone. It’s one thing for you to hurt yourself. But when you start pulling away from me, when you start cutting me out, that’s when I know shit is hitting the fan. So tell me, Xisuma, what’s really going on?” “Fine you wanna know so bad, Ex? I dont want to fucking be here anymore! I’m tired, and I’m this fucking close to just- giving up entirely! Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Xisuma snapped. Exsona opened his mouth, something fierce in his eyes, but then it softened, their face falling.

“Xisuma…” it trailed off. “Thank you. For telling me the truth. But I won’t let you give up on yourself. You understand that, right?” he murmured, approaching his brother to hold him. “Please, Ex, I can't do this anymore,” Xisuma took a step back. “I can’t keep feeling numb all the time.” Xiusma whispered. “I can’t do this without you, X,” Exsona replied just as quietly. “You’re- you do understand that you’re all that stand between me and the worst version of myself, you know that, right? I can’t imagine a world without you, Xisuma. Please, just- let me help you. We- we can get through this, together, like we always do. I promise.” He was met with a sob and X throwing himself at their twin. “I’m sorry” he mumbled between tears. “I know,” Exsona rubbed Xisuma’s back as he held them close. “I’m sorry, too. I’m so sorry, X.” It was crying too, now, silently. “But I’m not going to let you go. Not without me by your side.” “Now what….” X asked quietly. “I think..” Exsona trailed off for a moment before clearing their throat and trying again. “Xisuma, I think it’s time we tell TFC. Both of us. Together.” “No. He can't find out.” “Okay,” Exsona sighed. “Then… then we keep each other accountable. Okay? We- we’re going to be honest. And we won’t hide from each other anymore. Got it?” “Got it. No more hiding,” Xisuma repeated softly.

They stayed the rest of the night in Xisuma’s room.

The twins might not have been 100% better after this. And maybe they were being naive, thinking it was something they could handle on their own. But it was a start.

Chapter Text

Doc had the mirror in his bathroom covered. He hated the reflective glass more than anything in the world. He hated looking at his own face, his own body, and not being sure if it was actually his. He spent countless hours considering all the ways he’d fix it, what he’d change, what shapes he’d add or cut out if his body were made of clay. But instead it was made of flesh and bone- things he couldn’t sculpt to his exact liking. And if he was honest, he wasn’t even sure what that was. He wasn’t sure what he looked like, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to be either. He simply existed in a space of discomfort and horror at the feeling of being trapped inside his own skin. Nights were sleepless and hungry and full of muffled screams as he tried to find ways to escape.

But it was all a futile attempt.

Chapter Text

Zed was in his room happily drawing while waiting for Impulse,Skiz and Tango to make their way to his room. He had texted the group chat with the 4 of them that he was little. However, he hadn’t gotten any responses yet, which was starting to worry him. Normally the others were pretty good about communicating with him, especially if they knew he was little. But they hadn’t responded. And Zed was alone. And everything around him felt so big. Zedaph had a rather soft aesthetic to his room, but it wasn’t enough to console him when he felt so small and alone and worried about Skiz, Impulse and Tango. Being in the headspace he was, he curled up in a ball and started crying. He tucked himself into the corner of his bed made by two walls and just cried. He wasn’t a bad kid. He wasn’t. That was what Skizz always said. Zed tried to believe it, but the longer his tears fell with no one to wipe them away, the harder it became. What if they were annoyed? Or he was a burden to them and they had finally decided to be done with him and his clingy, childish side? The questions just spiraled, growing darker and darker with each passing moment.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed before his door opened revealing his caregivers.Making him cry even harder. Skizz quickly rushes over and picks him up, shushing him “Hey Z whats wrong buddy” The teen soothed. Zed just clung to his caregiver, crying his emotions out into his shoulder. At this point, Zedaph wasn’t sure why he was crying- sure he had felt bad before, but they were here now! Why was he still crying? “Tango can you get his stuffie?” Skiz requested quietly. Tango nodded and went to Zedaph’s bed, checking all the pillows and blankets until he found it, then carried it over to Zed. “Here you go buddy,” he murmured, offering it to the regressor, who took it and clutched it against his chest. “Hey buddy, is it okay if Impy goes and gets you some water or since you're sad, some juice?” Skiz asked gently, not wanting Zed to get more upset if impulse leaves the room. Slowly, Zed nodded. “Juice,” he whispered. “Okay I’ll be right back!” Impulse said before heading downstairs with Zed's favorite cup.

Now, as much as Skizz loved Zed, he couldn’t hold him forever, and Tango wasn’t actually able to pick him up, so Tango decided the next best thing was creating a nest on the bed with all the pillows and blankets, forming makeshift walls. “Do you want to move to the bed for some cuddles?” Tango suggested. Zed nodded as his tears finally dried. Skiz carried Zed to the bed and set him down with Tango. Skizz then grabbed himself a change of clothes from the drawer he, Impulse and Tangos shared before going and getting changed in the bathroom before switching with Tango so he could do the same. By the time Tango exited the bathroom, Impulse had returned and had given Zed his cup of juice, which Zed sipped on slowly. After Tango left the bathroom Impulse took his turn. When he was done, he joined the rest on the bed and the 4 settled down.

“Feelin better Zed?” Skiz asked quietly while playing with the littles hair. Zed nodded with more energy than before. “Mhm! Thank yous all,” he smiled up at his caregivers. “Sure thing, Zed,” Tango smiled, reaching up and pushing Skizz away to ruffle Zed’s hair. “Tangoooo!” Zed pouted. Tango just laughed. “Hey Zed? Why were you upset earlier buddy?” Impulse asked gently. Zed drew in on himself slightly. “Promise won't be mad?” “pinky” Skizz smiled at the little. Zed took a big breath before answering. “Texted, got no text back. Got scared. Big thoughts.. mean thoughts… thought that maybe you didn't want to be my cg’s no more. Made me really sad.” “Oh Zeddlebop, we love being your caregivers” impulse said with a sad smile. “I knows,” Zed nodded. “But brain no know. Brain stupid.” that earned a small laugh from Skizz and Tango “Yeah brains are stupid sometimes, hm?” Skizz agreed with a smile. Zed nodded, then yawned.

“Uh oh, I think someone’s sleepy!” Tango chimed in. “Bedtime buddy,” Skizz said, turning off the lamp and turning on the nightlight. Zed huffed and pouted for all of two seconds before Tango draped an arm over him and Zed happily centered himself on Skizz's chest so Tango and Impulse could also get their fair share of Zed cuddles. “Goodnight little one,” Skizz mumbled right as Zed fell asleep. The world might seem big and overwhelming sometimes but Zed will always have his caregivers.

Chapter Text

Bdubs was watering the plants in his room when he got a phone call from his mom. This was the first call he got from her since he got to the school 9 months ago. "Hello?" he answered the phone hesitantly. "Ah Hello Son I'm just calling to let you know the last of your things are being shipped to you Tomorrow." his mom said with a bored tone. clearly not wanting to be on call with him. "ok. anything else" he asked with a fake mad tone. "No” she then hung up leaving Bdubs alone with his thoughts the only thing in his head is "no one wants you"

Chapter Text

Its not a secret that Skiz was abandoned. Most of the time he is unbothered by this but today all he could think about is how no one cares and how everyone will leave him. He laid in bed for hours not moving, just thinking. Alone. Like he always will be.

Until Impulse burst in with snacks, a laptop and drinks. “I sensed depression and I'm here to help” he stated matter of factly.” Skizz might feel alone but impulse is right there to remind him that he never will be.

Chapter Text

Ren Has sensory issues primarily with sound and smell. So of course when the group went out to eat he knew he was doomed. So while he was getting ready he grabbed his headphones Blaze (check rens character sheet for info) and put on a shirt that's bearable to have on for a while and still looks nice. Since the restaurant was close by they walked there just chatting excited to enjoy the food they are gonna get.

At the restaurant they all sat down in the party room they booked in advance to help muffle the outside smells and sounds which did help for awhile ren got through the main course just fine it's went they got to dessert that it got messy.

Ren didn't know what happened but next thing he knew Blaze was on his lap calming him down with doc next to him playing with his hair. Once he calmed down he was exhausted not realizing he fell asleep on doc the next time Ren woke up he was in his room safe warm and happ

Chapter Text

Grain was just getting ready for the day when there was a loud crash downstairs. followed by a "OW" reminding him of a lot of scar but when he heard yelling and more loud sounds building up he started to feel a weight on his chest. like the air was made of lead. He was shaking hard and before he knew it all he could think was "I can't breathe" which led him to freak out more. He tried and tried to slow down his breathing but couldn't. He heard his door open slightly then what sounded like 2 people rushing over. "shh it's ok deep breaths" a voice he registered as martyn said gently while another person held his hands that were scratching up his arms. while something heavy laid across his legs.

By the time the grain was calm he was falling asleep safely in that he figured out Jimmy and Martyn's arms and the thing on his lap is a weighted blanket. He muttered a incoherent thank you before he fell fast asleep peaceful calm happy and safe

Chapter Text

Bdubs was the happy friend that everyone relied on. But sometimes Bdubs needs to rely on his friends.

Bdubs was looking in the mirror. He hated everything he saw. especially his hair and eyes. the Chocolate colored hair and eyes that resembled the wood of a pine tree.

He had no idea how long he stood there but he was interrupted by a knock on the door followed by the voice of Doc. "Bdubs can I come in? " he asked "Sure!" Bdubs said putting on his fake happy persona. Doc came in and moved Bdubs away from the mirror so they were sitting on his bed. "I take it you don't like what you see based on the facial expression you're making but trust me mirrors are stupid " doc said trying to be comforting. Bdubs started crying doc panicked a bit because he thought that he made it worse. "Oh-no I'm sorry!" Bdubs laughed a bit "don't worry these are happy tears I think I just needed to hear that" Bdubs said leaning on doc. and that's how they stayed until dinner. So now Doc makes sure to remind Bdubs that the mirror is evil and not to listen to it. And Bdubs listens.

Chapter Text

Exsona, Xisuma and Mumbo all sat together in Mumbo's room, quiet music in the background as they each did their own thing. Xisuma was sketching, Mumbo working on a project, supposedly, and Exsona was just scrolling tumblr. They were plenty content coexisting with each other in the space, no real interactions between the three of them. But such peace could only last so long. Eventually, Mumbo broke the silence.

“I was thinking,” he murmured, getting both of the twins’ attention. “Yeah?” Exsona prompted. "I was thinking about that day,” Mumbo restated. “The day where I… you know, and both of you came to help me.” “What about it?” Xisuma asked. “I remembered something," Mumbo said. “Something really important that I always meant to ask you guys about, but never got the chance.” Ex and X shared a look. Each twin saw the fear and confusion in the other’s eyes. "What was it you remembered, Mumbo?" Xisuma asked cautiously. Mumbo hesitates before speaking again.

“Can you take off your jackets?" he requested in a small uncertain voice. The twins both died inside simultaneously, pits in their stomachs. "Why?" Exsona asked, eyeing his brother nervously. "Please...you know why" Mumbo said with big doe eyes. "If that's your reason, then why do you feel the need to see it so bad?" Exsona muttered, growing defensive. "Just- please,” Mumbo implored them, “Please I ... I need to see it for myself." The twins shared a look then Xisuma sighed, hesitantly taking off his Metallica hoodie. However before he took it all the way off he gave Exsona a look. Exsona resisted. “Exsona,” Xisuma said gently. And that was all it took to break their walls down. Exsona, not looking Mumbo in the eyes, removed his Ice Nine Kills hoodie. The sight was gruesome, a range of old fading scars to fresh angry cuts lined both of the twins’ arms.

"Why" Mumbo whispered, looking like he was about to cry. Exsona was quick to try to comfort Mumbo, putting his arms around him. "Hey, it's okay, don't worry about us," he smiled, his tone lighthearted despite it all as it tried desperately to shift the attention away from the problem. Mumbo opened his mouth to say something, but instead broke into tears. Xisuma slipped his jacket back on before joining the other two. "I'm sorry," Mumbo murmured. "Its... not your fault" Xisuma assured. "It has nothing to do with you. "But-" Mumbo started. "Shh," Exsona interrupted. "Just- let us hold you for now,” he requested, voice so quiet it almost didn’t exist.

Mumbo tentatively went quiet and allowed the twins to just hold him. It broke the twins’ hearts to see the boy they’d adopted as their little brother figure sob his eyes out while he just apologizes to them, repeating his words over and over. "Hey hey hey, it's not your fault" Exsona said, running a hand through his hair. Mumbo whimpered. "But-" "No buts, just relax" Xisuma soothed.

The three of them stayed there, a pile of exposed wounds on the floor for quite some time, letting Mumbo feel through his emotions while Exsona and Xisuma did their best to hold it together. Eventually, the energy in the room changed from intense to something soft, but shattered, never to be the same. Mumbo, now calm, broke the silence. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked with a small almost silent voice. "We didn't wanna stress you out" Exsona said gently. “Didn’t want to stress me out?” Mumbo repeated, sounding somewhat offended. “What do you think this is? News flash, this is me stressed out.” “We know,” Xisuma whispered, pulling in on himself. Mumbo immediately regretted his choice of words.

“I- no I just-” “It’s okay,” Exsona continued playing with Mumbo’s hair. “You’re right.” “That doesn’t make it okay,” Mumbo huffed. “This- this can’t keep happening. Promise me. Promise me you’ll stop. Please.” “You know we can’t do that,” Exsona sighed. “Look at us, Mumbo. This isn’t something that we can just fix like that.” “Weve been trying for months” Xisuma nodded in agreement. Mumbo nearly started crying again. “I- I want to help,” he said firmly. “Tell me what I can do. Anything. Anything, I promise I’ll do it.” “I’m not sure,” Exsona admitted. “Mumbo, everyone has a threshold for how much they can take. But when that threshold is abused and violated again and again and again… eventually, the threshold is no longer there, and it all becomes overwhelming. Big, small, it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you can do to stop this. This- what we do, it stops us from doing worse things. From…” “From killing yourself?” Mumbo asked, wishing he was wrong. Exsona nodded.

“Do you remember a few months ago when I was really withdrawn?” X asked quietly. Mumbo slowly nodded. His heart rose to his throat. “Wait, did you-” “No,” Exsona answered. “But it got pretty damn close.” X nodded in agreement looking down. “Good lord,” Mumbo gasped. “Guys- we- we need to tell someone. If it’s really that bad-” “No,” Exsona interrupted. “We’ve already decided we’re not telling anyone. The only reason we’re telling you is because… Well, ask and you shall receive, I suppose.” “But-” “No buts,” Xisuma interrupted. Mumbo drew in a breath. “Fine. But you tell me if it gets worse. If you- if either of you start considering- ending it, you tell me immediately, and we go to TFC. That’s the deal, take it or leave it.” The twins shared a look “Alright,” Xisuma said hesitantly. “Thank you,” Mumbo reached out and touched Xisuma’s hand before looking up at Exsona. Exsona sighed. “Fine. Deal.” “Thank you.” “Please, don’t thank me,” Exsona scoffed. Mumbo decided to ignore the harsh tone. “I love you both very much,” he decided. Exsona blinked a few times, processing before reciprocating the words. “Love you too.” Mumbo received a similar response from X, who went blank for a second “Love you too, Mumbo.”

And now the secret was with three, rather than two. It didn’t make any physical difference for the boys, but together, in that moment, they felt a connection that made the world feel that little bit safer.

Chapter Text

Wels woke up to a knock on his door at 2 in the morning. Confused and groggy, he sat up. There was a knock again, so he called out, still trying to blink himself awake. "Wha?” "Wels come downstairs immediately i, it's urgent,” Tfc said before rushing off. Wels made a confused sound, but it went unanswered. He shook his body out, still trying to get himself used to being awake before walking over to his pile of half-worn clothes and grabbing a random t-shirt to pull on. Dressed enough to be considered presentable at 2 am, he left his room and walked down the stairs with tired urgency, still confused and increasingly concerned.

When he got downstairs he saw TFC cleaning the wounds of someone sitting at the kitchen table. It took a long moment, but Wels suddenly sobered as he realized it was none other than his twin. Hels. He had a black eye and many other injuries covering him and he was crying. Wels was in shock for a multitude of reasons, multiple thoughts pulling him in various directions, but the overwhelming urge was to rush over to Hels side, so he did. “Hels!? I- what- what happened!?” “Lily got a C on one of her school things and they blamed me because ‘im a no good failure’ I don't remember the rest very well.” Hels forced out between cries and sniffles. “I- but- but that makes no sense!” Wels frowned. “Gods- Hels, I’m so so sorry. I- how did you end up here?” “They had the neighbor drive me…”

Wels knew the neighbor in question. She was a sweet old lady who had basically raised the twins, seeing as their parents had failed to do so. They had played in her yard, eaten her food, even had sleep overs at her house when things got bad. She had been sad to see Wels go, but had wished him safety and happiness. Of course she would be the one to bring Hels here- not their god damned parents. Wels hugged Hels around the shoulders, letting TFC continue cleaning the wounds. “Im so sorry, Hels. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. If I had known this was going to happen-" "No you couldn't have done anything they sent you away first.” Hels quickly interrupted.

“I still- oh gods,” Wels said again under his breath. “What now?” “Now, he is under care of the school, just like you. We had a spare room in the dorms, anyway, so Hels will stay there.” TFC explained gently while wrapping Hels arm. Wels blinked a few times, trying not to cry. “I’ll help you get settled in. I promise everyone here is so nice. Oh- I have to introduce you to Hypno. He’s one of my best friends here.” Wels was met with a nod and Hels wincing while TFC started wrapping his shin. “They got you pretty good, huh…” Wels whispered. “Mhm” Hels whined quietly at the pain. “If you need help getting around the next few days, I’ll be around, but there’s also this guy named Skizz who can probably straight up carry you,” Wels said, chuckling slightly. “He’s so sweet- an angel of a person.” “Yeah I might end up needing that” Hels said with a bittersweet voice. Wels nodded, understanding. He continued to tell Hels about a handful of the other students- mostly praise on how nice they were- until TFC was done bandaging all the wounds.

“Ready to head up?” Wels asked. “Can I stay with you?” Hels rushed out not wanting Wels to leave. Wels was slightly taken aback by the force in Hel’s voice, but nodded. “Of course. My room’s already set up, and the bed is just big enough for two, if you don’t mind being a little close.” “Wels, I haven't seen you in 6 months, I don't think ‘too close’ exists”, Hels said flatly. Wels couldn’t help a small smile anyways. “Okay. My room is on the second floor, so it’s just one flight of stairs,” he informed, getting his arm under Hel’s so he could help his twin walk.

It took 20 excruciating minutes to get to Wels room and get settled into the bed. “Im exhausted” Hels whined as soon as he was in bed. “I know,” Wels murmured. “I can only imagine how overwhelming this has all been. But you’re safe now, I promise. It’s just you and me. And hey- we’re officially legal siblings again, so there’s that, too. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Hels let out a pleased sound right as he fell asleep, finally safe back with his twin. Wels hummed and pulled his brother closer.

Chapter Text

It was just a normal Friday night. The hermits sat in a circle in the livingroom, piled up in their normal groups, but all facing the TV, which showed a Kahoot question, currently reading “what is Jevins favorite song.”. The hermits tapped away on their screens, submitting their answers as soon as possible. They all waited in suspense as it shifted to the answer screen, showing the new scores.

There was chaos in the room as the hermits saw their new scores. All of which ended when there was a heavy knock at the door. It was three slow knocks that sounded more like pounding than knocks.
The hermits froze. Fear struck all of them. Some of them huddled, some covered their ears, others got to their feet.
“Hey, it's alright,” TFC assured, standing up and using a soft voice. “I'll handle it, okay?”
BANG! BANG! BANG!
That's when Etho knew something was very wrong. But he didn't have the words to say anything as TFC walked over to the door and opened it.
The door was opened gently by TFC, then swung open wildly as a tall burly man staggered in, shoving TFC so hard he tripped and fell back.
Etho, who was already still as could be, somehow went even stiller as ice shocked his veins and horror shut down all his normal brain functions. At that moment, he was nothing but a terrified kid again.
“Fuck” he whispered, but no one heard it over the yells of the wild, rugged man infront of them.
“You little bitch!” he shouted as he pulled out a knife off his belt.
They all started screaming. Most of them ran, trying to make it to their rooms, but some prepared for a fight they would likely lose, and some, like Etho, just stayed in their spot.
The rest were scared because they had no idea who this man was, and who he was talking to.
Etho was scared because he knew exactly who this man was.
His last foster ‘dad’.
And he had a knife. And he was yelling. And he was approaching. With a knife.
He was going to kill him.
Etho whimpered and started crawling backwards, as if that could put any meaningful distance between them. His legs wouldn't work. His bones felt like lead and his muscles like paper.
He had almost died once. He would die this time for sure.
TFC barreled into the man, sideswiping him. They both fell to the ground and tumbled. TFC had him mostly pinned through sheer body weight, but TFC couldn't get the knife from him.
That's where Beef came in. He had always had an aggressive part to him that was only seen during his flashbacks, really. His background, whatever it was, left him with a deep fighting instinct. But in this moment, fight was what they needed, and the brave (boy?man?) ran over and wrestled the knife from his hand.
With him disarmed,Gem pulled out her phone and called 911 Unbeknownst to Etho. Etho wasn't sure who, all of his focus and senses honed on the man pinned to the floor, still fighting for the upper hand.
TFC was heavier, but Etho’s ex-foster-dad was also heavy set, and had a strength that was worth fearing, especially when he was drunk. But Etho had only once seen him this bad before.
Etho was still sure he was going to die.
Sure enough, the ex-dad eventually kicked TFC off long enough to get to his feet and start stalking towards Etho.
“You mother fucker. You absolutely worthless piece of shit. I'm going to kill you. You ruined everything - you ruined my life.”
Etho didn't move. Didn't speak. This was it. The end of the line. And he deserved it, apparently.
Then TFC was on the man again, pinning him again. Etho just watched. Then there were hands around Etho and he punched.
He had never been much of a fighter, but the physicality of being touched triggered all his systems into full force at once. Whoever touched him staggered, and Etho pushed himself up and ran to his room. He locked the door. He hid under the bed, letting the frame and the grey-green drapes cover him.
He stayed there for… minutes? hours? days?
Sirens from outside that made him want to cover his ears, but he couldn't afford to. He needed his wits about him- needed to know if he had to find a new hiding spot. Luckily, he didn't need to.
Eventually the sirens went away, and everything was quiet.
Etho still hid until there was a knock, a gentle one. He flinched and put his hand over his mouth, making sure he wasn't panting too loud.
“Etho?” It was Xisuma's voice. It was soft, just loud enough to be heard through the door. “Are you… are you in there?”
Etho hesitated. Sure it sounded like Xisuma but… what if his father was on the other side of that door, holding Xisuma at knife point?
But then, maybe he'd kill Xisuma if Etho didn't do something.
Worthless, his father had said.
Etho was worthless. Certainly, at least worth less than Xisuma's life. If someone was to die tonight, it would be him.
Etho swallowed. “Y-yes,” he choked out
Xisuma let out a breath. “Do you… want to come out? I just want to talk.”
Etho had no choice.
He dragged himself out from under the bed, shaking, and crossed the room. He opened the door.
Xisuma was there. No knife in sight. And no other person in sight, for that matter, but Xisuma.
“Hey.”
“Where is he?” Etho asked immediately.
“Er… who?” Xisuma asked.
“Him,” Etho stressed. Xisuma should know who he's talking about. “That- that monster.”
“Oh, him,” Xisuma murmured. “He's- he's gone. And he's going to go away for a long time, Etho. The police came and arrested him and everything. You're safe now. I don't know exactly what just happened, but I know you're safe.”
Etho collapsed to the floor as soon as the words were processed. He held himself and cried.
“Oh, Etho,” Xisuma whispered and crouched. He didn't hug Etho, but offered one. Etho shook his head, and Xisuma put his arms back at his sides. “Hey. It's - it's going to be okay. I promise.” Etho slowly nodded. While Xisuma never breaks his promises It probably wouldn't be okay. But for now… well, there was no knife, and no ex-dad. That had to count for something.
“Where's… where's TFC?” Etho asked. Voice shaking. Normally, TFC would be the one to check up on them when one of them had a flashback or panic attack - Etho can't imagine TFC passing up on this moment.
Unless he was just that worthless.
“Hospital,” Xisuma answered grimly. “He's okay!” he immediately assured. “But he got a few cuts and bruises and probably a broken finger or two. Nothing life threatening, but enough where he needs medical attention… so I'm in charge until he's back.” Etho whimpered. This was all his fault. If he wasn't such a horrible son, such a horrible person, then none of this would have happened, and TFC would be home and safe.
“I'm sorry,” Etho gasped. “This- this is all my fault, I'm so sorry - I - I don't- I can't-”
“Breathe, Etho,” Xisuma moved to sit. He put out his hands. “Can I have your hands, Etho?” he asked. Etho thought it over, briefly, before putting his hands in Xisuma's. Xisuma's hands were smaller, but he still deftly turned over Etho's hands so his palms were up, and started rubbing the inside of his wrists.
“You're safe,” Xisuma reminded. “You're safe. And nothing is your fault. Nothing. I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it. But before that, can you tell me as many … animals as you can think of?”
Etho knew this. It was one of the grounding techniques that TFC had taught them. Part of him was still terrified, and believed that relaxing now would mean danger would come back. But he took a deep breath and allowed himself to follow Xisuma's instructions, “Bird, Cat, um…sheep, giraffe, fox-” he cut himself off, unable to list more.
“Good job,” Xisuma smiled softly. Etho nodded.
“Can we go see him? TFC?” Etho asked.
“I-I can send Exsona with you, I guess?” Xisuma proposed a slight uncertainty in his voice. “But right now, I think it's best if we stay here, together.”
“Okay,” Etho agreed reluctantly
“Do you.. want to come downstairs?” Xisuma offered. “The others are really worried about you. We want to make sure you are okay.”
And Etho was crying. Again. God he’d lost could of just how much he had cried in the last 24 hours. But he couldn't help it.
He couldn't help but cry when he realized they cared. That he wasn't worthless to them. And that maybe, this was what family felt like, like home.

Chapter Text

Martyn didn't like admitting when he needed help. He was an extremely independent person- it was part of who he was. If he needed to fix or build something, he'd figure it out on his own. Sometimes he'd take things apart, or have to start over four times, but he'd get there in the end.

Maybe it had to do with his parents, who never gave him the time of day. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that school was too rigorous, and it hadn't been until Stonehaven that he'd been offered any support. Not that he'd used that support, of course. He'd just be a waste of time that could be better spent helping someone worthwhile, someone who might actually amount to something.

Martyn didn't believe he'd turn out to be much of anything. Sure, he could sculpt in hours less time than others, but he didn't have much else to his name. He struggled with most maths, often avoiding the subject altogether (he'd even bribed tutors in the past to lie to his parents). History he could do, but it wasn't his favorite, unless it was mythology. Science was something he could vibe with- but his real passion was the arts - and who needed that nowadays? If he was lucky, he'd get paid minimum wage for working long hours in the hot sun and narrowly manage not to die in the process.

But beyond what he could be as of career, Martyn often worried about himself in terms of living.

Having grown up primarily with two or three house servants at any given time, Martyn hadn't learned most of the skills normal kids learned. He barely knew how to do his wash, had never touched a cleaning sponge in his life, had no clue how to cook, and god knows he needed to learn how to do tens of other things if he wanted to make it through life. Even the skills he had learned from his time homeless didn't really apply to household living.

So he was at a loss of how to actually figure it out. Most things in life, this far, he could take apart and put back together, or at least trial and error, but Martyn had the suspicion that TFC, nor anyone else, would appreciate him setting fire to the kitchen, or putting away dirty dishes because he was too dumb to figure out how to clean them properly.

Martyn figured there were YouTube tutorials for this kind of thing, but his godforsaken pride wouldn't let him stoop so low. Only a true loser would google search “how to clean a dish” or “how to cook mac n cheese”.

So he resorted to… other methods.

Such as, stalking Ren.

Of course, he wouldn't call it stalking, but anyone from an outside view would. It wasn't exactly normal to time your own schedule to maximize as much time as possible that you were in the same room as someone, without actually interacting with them, and watching their every move while taking notes on it on your phone.

Martyn would sometimes make casual conversation with Ren, but only if Ren initiated, which wasn't all that often. Ren was just a quiet guy when it came to chores, and Martyn was okay with that. Ren was also a very competent guy, and Martyn was… less okay with that. Jealous, even. Why did Ren get to learn how to do the dishes and how to cook and how to clean and to just- be a human?

And Martyn knew he was being ludicrous about it. But at least Ren could do something! Ren had so many life skills, so much ability to support himself and others, a freaking support dog, and Martyn had-

“Er… hey..”

Martyn looked up.

“Yeah?”

“You uh.. have something in your eye?” Ren asked. Martyn rubbed at his face.

“Yeah, yeah, something in my eye. Uh- yeah.”

“Do you need to flush it out?” Ren suggested. “Sink’s open.”

“Im good, im good,” Martyn assured.

“If ya say so,” Ren shrugged. Martyn hummed tightly, internally cursing himself for crying. It was just so frustrating. He was useless compared to any of the others. Absolutely useless. “Are you mad at me?” Ren asked.

“Huh?” Martyn did a double take. “Mate, the fuck are you on about?”

“Well I can't help but notice you've been glaring at me?” Ren stated the question. Martyn felt his heart sink, but he crossed his arms and tried to seem unbothered.

“Glaring? Who says I've been glaring?”

“Uh… I do… you've been staring, at least. I swear like- everytime I come down here, there you are on the couch, watching. Did I do something wrong? Something else to make you upset?”

“Don't be silly,” Martyn scoffed. “I'm not staring. I just- happen to be down here when you are, and well, since your the only other person around sometimes, I can't help but look up once in a while.”

“Uh, no,” Ren pursed his lips. “I asked Jimmy and he agreed, you've been acting differently around me recently. So what's up? I really don't want to have to get TFC involved-”

“Don't,” Martyn interjected. “Don't do that. Its- it's not a big deal, okay?”

“It is to me,” Ren frowned. “I want to be your friend, Martyn. If I did something to upset you-”

“I'm not upset,” Martyn rolled his eyes.

“Then..?” Ren prompted. Martyn fidgeted. He really hadn't meant to end up in this situation. He was trying to be out of the way if anything. But Ren had him cornered, and if Martyn walked away from this conversation now, Ren would just get TFC involved, and that was out of the question.

“F-fine. Yes, I've been watching you. Staring. Happy?”

“Not really,” Ren laughed, but it was awkward and nervous. “I want to know why, Martyn.”

“Because-” Martyn clenched his fists “Because you're better, okay?”

“Better?” Ren’s eyes narrowed in concern.

“Yeah,” Martyn grumbled, holding himself. “You're better at cooking, cleaning, shopping, all of that. It's not fair.”

“...so you are mad because I'm better?” Ren tilted his head.

“Im not mad!” Martyn snapped, then groaned and rubbed his face. “I mean- I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at my parents for never teaching me, at the house servants who never let me get near those things, at- at myself for not just- knowing! Everyone else in this goddamn house has it together when it comes to how to care for themselves, but I have no clue where to even start, man.”

“Martyn, take a deep breath,” Ren said calmly, walking around the couch and taking a seat next to Martyn. Martyn leaned forward and put his hands in his hands, not looking at Ren. Ren put a hand on Martyn’s back. “Look, dude, we all have different skills. And that's okay. You're not the only one who struggles.”

“But how will I ever function as an adult if I can't even clean a dish?” Martyn seethed. Ren hummed.

“Well, you could ask TFC-”

“No,” Martyn cut Ren off, “Look, TFC is cool, and I get that he's kinda like a dad to some of y'all but- he's not my dad. It feels weird asking him with this kind of thing.”

“Right,” Ren bit his lip. “Well… what if I taught you?”

“Nice joke, mate,” Martyn stated sarcastically. Ren rolled his eyes.

“I was being serious, dude. I'll teach you!”

“You'd… do that?” Martyn murmured.

“Sure,” Ren shrugged. “I mean, I've never had to teach anyone- much of anything, to be honest, but I'd give it my best shot.” Martyn sighed and for the first time during the conversation relaxed marginally.

“Thanks, mate.”

“Sure thing, dude,” Ren smiled. “Ready for your first lesson?”

“What?”

“Take the dog for a walk,” Ren smirked, standing and grabbing Blaze’s leash.

“Oh come on. It's like a bazillion degrees outside!” Martyn complained.

“Gotta get done,” Ren shrugged. “Someone's gotta do these things.”

“It's your bloody dog!”

“Oh, but I'm disabled,” Ren cooed.

Martyn threw a cushion at him.

Chapter Text

Martyn sat alone in his room that morning. It was still dark outside, and he had the lights off, casting his room in nothing but the pre-dawn light. It was silent in the room. The only sound was the wind outside his window. That, and his thoughts. His thoughts which repeated “Cut cut cut, the scars are already faded you need it, it needs to hurt” over and over again. While this wasn't unusual, it was still hard. The longer he sat, holding his knees to his chest, the thoughts grew louder and louder. “It doesn't even have to be deep, just enough to feel something.” The thoughts were so loud it was nearly impossible to ignore them, but Martyn had places to be. He couldn't let himself get distracted.
He forced himself up and went to the bathroom to get ready, doing his hair and some eyeliner to complement his outfit. After he finished getting ready he went down to the kitchen, but skipped breakfast and got ready for class. He grabbed his backpack and left without speaking to anyone. Again not unusual.
His school day was not particularly unusual, either. Same classes, same people, same schedule. Unfortunately, monotony left space for his brain to wander, and where it wandered was a dark place. Everything was a tool, something he could press into his skin if only he had the time and privacy. But he didn't, so he blasted his music and tried to forget about the voices in his head.
When he got back to the dorms after school is when the thoughts got even worse. Louder, meaner, more convincing. The constant yelling in his head wouldn't stop no matter what he did. But he couldn't give in. What would everyone think? They would think he was weak. That he was crazy. They would send him away.
He gave in. He didn't know what happened. He was just doing some homework, then he was holding a tissue to some small but noticeable cuts. He failed. He gave in. He can’t breathe. He had no idea what was happening anymore but he could process that he was being held while another person cleaned his arm. He still couldn't breathe. He couldn't focus. Slowly with the help of the mystery people he calmed down enough to find out that it was X and Ex, with him. Exsona cleaned him up while Xisuma calmed him down. Martyn couldn't bring himself to look at them, fearing the disappointment in their eyes. But he was met with understanding not disappointment. Confusion quickly overtook the fear. “Are you with us M?” Exsona asked gently. Earning a nod in response. “How do the bandages feel?” Xisuma asked, still holding Martyn in place. “Fine,” Martyn said with a flat tone. “Theyre not too tight or anything?” Exsona double checked. Martyn just shook his head no, looking down.
“Now I know this part is gonna suck, but can we talk about it please ?” Xisuma pried gently.

“Talk about what, exactly?” Martyn asked, faking confusion. “Why you would… you know. It's not something you do for fun, exactly. So what happened?” Xisuma said his voice breaking a bit. “Its just… a bad day. It won't happen again. I'm sorry.” Martyn said with a guarded voice. “Don't apologize. I get it. Bad days happen. But you shouldn't hurt yourself like this… maybe we should talk to TFC about some other coping mechanisms?” Exsona suggested. Martyn shook his head no. “Do not get TFC involved” Martyn said with a slight edge to his voice. “Understandable,” Xisuma said gently. “NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO IT” Martyn snapped at the twins.

Both the twins flinched slightly, but Martyn didn't notice. “Martyn-” Exsona started softly, but Martyn was too upset to hear them out right now. “Just, leave!” he sobbed out, finally letting himself cry. However, they didn't. The twins just moved so they were on either side of martyn they stayed. No talking, no anything, just a comforting presence. Like an anchor to a ship on the angry sea.

Eventually, Martyn's tears came to a stop. Exsona spoke first. “You know… I do actually understand. At least a little. I've been where you are before. In fact, I never really left.” Ex wasn't looking at Martyn. He wasn't looking at anything by the looks of it, eyes glazed over. Voice void of all emotion. “He's not the only one either,” Xisuma whispered. With what seemed like all his and his brother's emotion in their voice. Looking at Martyn with glassy eyes.

Martyn was frozen in place. What. The two kindest, most understanding people he knew were like him. Broken so much on the inside they had to bleed to let out the flaws and pain stored inside. “I-” he took a deep breath "I'm so sorry for snapping at you I-I-I had no idea.” He said, stumbling over the words. “Dont worry, you didn't know” Xisuma said with a small smile trying to comfort the other.

Martyn hummed. “So what now?” he asked, almost bitterly. “Well… we educate ourselves,” Exsona answered. “We make sure that when we do it, we do it safely and cleanly, and allow it to heal.” “What if I don't want it to heal?” Martyn frowned. “Then we work on that, first,” Xisuma decided. “Have you heard of the butterfly trick?” “No,” Martyn admitted. “What is it?” “It's when you take a pen and draw a butterfly over where you want to hurt yourself, or next to a cut. If you hurt yourself, then you're hurting the innocent butterfly. It doesn't work for everyone, but it might be a good place to start.”

Martyn nodded. While he knows it won't be easy he also knows that he had a support system that he could fall back into. Who would be there with reassurances and bandages everytime. He knew healing isn't linear; it's more of a labyrinth that constantly shifts and changes. But with help, he'd find his way through to the end. He's not crazy. He's not a lost cause. And most importantly He's loved.

Chapter Text

It all started when. Gem got sick. It was Thursday evening and everyone was hanging out in the common room when suddenly Gem got up and sprinted to her bathroom, throwing up as soon as she was situated over the toilet. She was closely followed by her older brother figures Tango, Impulse, Skiz and Zedaph. "Oh gemstone" Skiz said gently rubbing her back as the younger heaved over the toilet. Impulse quickly took control telling Zed to set up her room and told tango to get water medicine and a cold rag for her head. After all that was done and they got Gem settled, they left the room, letting the sickly girl sleep.

The next morning the four of them woke up feeling, well- like shit. Skiz especially having been in such a close proximity to Gem. He woke up feeling nauseous, hot and cold at the same time and his whole body felt like it was being weighed down. He couldn't even get out of bed to ask for help. He just laid there in his room, the only sound was his heavy breathing. He was unaware as to how long he was there before someone came in. The burry figure came over to the bed and put their hand on his head. The figure started speaking but it sounded like he was underwater.

Before he realized what was happening he was being picked up and moved somewhere. Suddenly everything was cold. He felt like he was dying. The next thing he knew he was waking up in Ethos' room with a cold cloth on his head tucked under a ton of blankets. “Wha-” “oh good you're awake!” Etho said as he stood up walking over and checking his temperature again. “Good it went down but it's still not normal” Etho stated with a hint of relief. “What happened?” Skiz asked, confused, still trying to get a grip on the situation. “Oh you Zed. Tango, and Impulse got sick.” Etho said absentmindedly “no one had seen you all day and when i went to check on you you were delirious and had such a high fever i thought we would have had to take you to the hospital. I got it down but it's still pretty high.” Etho ranted calmly.

Skiz after processing everything tried to sit up quickly resulting in him getting light headed and Etho easing him to lay back down. “Hey chill. I'll take you back to your room in a bit but i need you to relax " "No, it's not that, i need to check on the others!” “Dont worry!, the others are being looked over by Xisuma, Exsona and Doc” “but- what if they need me” "There's nothing they need from you that we can't do for them, I promise. You can see them when your fever is lower” "Fine,” Skizz agreed, but his heart was still racing at the thought of not knowing just how good or bad the others were doing. He, for one, was not faring well.

About a week after, Gem, Tango, Impulse, Skiz, and Zed were starting to do slightly better. However Etho, Doc, and the twins were feeling horrible. They were all camped out in the Xisumas room trying to contain the germs being the responsible teens they are. Except they forgot to tell their friends to leave them alone so their equally responsible friends, Joe, Keralis, and Cleo walk in carrying soup and gatorade (the blue kind cuz its the only good flavor) “Hello! We come bearing sustenance” Joe said, handing each of them a bowl of soup. Etho looking at the bowl like it killed his family. “At least try” Cleo prompted him, earning a hesitant nod. Well- about 45 minutes later they saw ethos soup again.

He heaved up the soup in Xisuma's bathroom shaking. Joe came in trying to calm him down “Etho! I need you to breathe, you're making it worse for yourself” Joe said in a gentle tone Etho continued to panic. When Etho was younger any display of weakness was like begging to get hurt. Joe continued to try and calm him down, eventually getting him calm enough to leave the bathroom after 45 minutes of panic, tears and dry heaving. As soon as Joe got him settled Etho fell asleep. As for the twins, they were refusing to let anyone get near them other than each other after years of using it as a survival skill. And of course the others did their best to respect that, keeping their distance, leaving things for them a few feet away and generally leaving them alone. Doc did not have many symptoms other than a scarily high fever of 103.4°F (39.7°C) getting close to hospital level. They just kept replacing cold compresses, hoping it would go down.

Well the next day Joe, Keralis, and Cleo came down with the bug as well. Staying in Xisuma's room with the others. This time the other set of twins in the family showed up. Hels and Wels came in wearing masks and gloves, carrying a tray with toast and bananas for their sick classmates. With Hypno taking care of team ZITS and Gem.

The group in Xisuma's room quickly kicked the twins out after food was delivered so they went to join hypno.

After three rounds of the students coming down with the bug, they started to take precautions, but with close proximity and living in the same building, using the same utilities, it was difficult to avoid others getting sick, as well. While some recovered, others got sick, and even TFC fell ill.

They were all ill and miserable, and some started to lose hope that the antibodies could actually protect them from getting ill when Gem got sick with it for a second time.

But it seems she was particularly susceptible, as no one else got sick a second time. During this, Gem holed herself up in her room as much as possible, feeling sick, miserable, and guilty. It was all her fault they all got sick- she was the one who caught the bug in the first place, afterall. But ZITS didn't let her wallow alone for long, visiting her frequently to look over her.

By nearly a week later, most of the students started to get better. That is, except for the one person who had avoided getting it when everyone else had; Mumbo Jumbo. He was miserable. He had a high fever. He was throwing up, he had a cough and he could barely move. It took 2 days before anyone went to the well dressed teens room to check on him. The people checking on him were Hypno, Jevin, Joe, and XB .

“Mumbo, are you in here?” XB asked quietly, peering into the dark room. They were met with a quiet groan. Causing them all to rush in trying to find their dapper friend. Curled up in his bed shaking eyes foggy mumbling incoherent words to nobody. “Oh Shiiiiii—ooootttt.” hypno said as he felt mumbo’s forehead.

“We need to get the fever down.” Jeven said already starting a cool bath. (Tw for feeling like you're drowning.) The next thing Mumbo knew it was really, really cold and he was wet. He felt water on his head getting in his mouth and nose. He couldn't breathe at- least that's what he felt like. In reality the others had just lightly poured water over his face and he had started having a panic attack. It took about 45 minutes to calm down the sick teen. Still not fully lucid but no longer at risk of his brain boiling. Joe got him settled in his nest of blankets sitting on the floor by the bed being joined by Hypno Jevin and Xb who divided to stay there until the usually besuited man woke up.

About 4 hours later mumbo was awake “what are you guys doing here?” The 4 concerned boys shot up looking at their friend “you disappeared for a couple days so we came to check on you but you were delusional so we stayed with you.” Jevin rambled mumbo just nodding along. He was better a week later.

In the end the group learned a lot from this experience. The main one being that they need to set up a plan for when they get sick and, secondly, that they don't have to face anything alone anymore, not even illness.

Chapter Text

It was a normal day everyone was just hanging out in the common room when suddenly Joel came in with a blank expression. “Are you ok Joel” Etho asked, eyeing the male with a concerned expression. “My parents are coming” the Anxious male forced out with a flat tone. Etho walked over to Joel leading him to a quiet place and giving him a hug. After all Joel was Ethos best friend. And Etho hated seeing just how much the thought of his parents affected his friend. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Etho urged gently. Joel just shook his head, still staring at the floor with foggy eyes. “Do you just want to sit here and cry?” Etho asked, knowing the answer. Or so he thought because as soon as he said that Joel started bawling. “Oh-” Etho exclaimed as he caught Joel and led him to his room.

About 45 minutes later Joel was calm enough to talk. “So why did you freak out over your parents visiting?” Etho asked with a gentle voice. “Because on the phone they were acting like- like well PARENTS!” Joel exclaimed bitterly. Leaning back on the bed. “And that makes you upset, why?” Etho asked, confused “Because they had my whole life they had 17 years to act like parents but they didn't" Joel ranted angrily. “And i know i shouldnt be upset because everyone elses parents are gone in one way or another and i know i should be grateful for this but it just hurts it took 17 years for them to want anything to do with me” He continued rambling sounding sadder and sadder every word.

Before Joel could continue however he was pulled into a hug by Etho. “You have every right to feel like that. They left you. You don't have to agree to talking to them again. You need to set boundaries for yourself.” Etho comforted.

“When they come, are you willing to just be there with me?” Joel asked quietly “Of course I'll always be there if you need me” Etho smiled at his friend.

The next day when Joel's parents arrived he and Etho went to the room where parents could visit. Etho stood in the back of the room there in case but also out of the way while Joel sat in one of the chairs across from the sofa. His Mother and Father sat there with huge smiles on their faces. “Joel who is that in the corner must he be here” his mother asked in a sickly sweet voice. “He's my best friend. He's here for emotional support,” Joel said coldly. “Emotional support to see us? We never did anything to you” His father said confused “Thats the point. You never did anything” Joel said flatly. “Listen Joel, we're trying so you don't need a little friend in the corner” His Mother said, getting annoyed. “He stays or you don't see me you choose” “Fine” his mother said clearly annoyed. “So what did you want?” Joel asked. “We wanted to know if you're willing to let us be parents to you.” his father said confidently “No. You had 17 years for that. We can start talking but i dont think ill ever consider you parents” Joel said flatly. His mother and father nodded, getting up. “We understand we can call once a week to start?” his father asked. Joel just nodded and watched them leave.

After they were gone Etho went up to Joel hugging him tightly. “I'm so proud of you,” Etho whispered. Joel knows that no matter what he will always have a family even if it's not by blood.

Chapter Text

Grian paced his room, trying to decide on what sweater he wanted to wear. It was approaching winter, but it was still warm on the sunny days, so the thinner one would likely be better for an outing, but the other was pink. It was pretty, and cute, and pink. And then there was that voice, that godforsaken voice, practically begging him to pull out that dress he had shoved in the back of his closet. It was a feminine voice, speaking to him through his own brain, wanting to wear something feminine. Grian cringed at the mere thought.

Grian went with the green sweater.

After getting dressed, Grian made his way downstairs for breakfast. He and Scar had a lot planned for the day, so it was a good idea to eat something. And no, he would not be eating just a cookie like the voice told him to.

Grian decided on an omelette, though he only ended up eating half.

While he was eating, the voice whined about cookies. But Grian didn't want cookies. Not right now, anyways. But then why was this stupid thought hanging in his head? Grian groaned and pulled at his hair, trying to get it to go away.

“Uh.. G, ya good?” Skizz asked. Grian startled, nearly spilling his plate.

“Yeah, yeah fine,” Grian forced a smile.

“Sure? You looked pretty stressed there. Something on your mind?”

“Nothing big,” Grian shrugged. What would he tell Skizz anyway? That he was going crazy and his thoughts had a mind of their own? That would surely go over well.

“If ya say so,” Skizz shrugged, walking over to the cookie jar in the kitchen. Grian cringed at how loud the resulting thought was.

When Grian decided he was done eating, he put the rest in a container with a sticky note of his name on it. It was simple, something he'd done a million times but… why did his name look wrong? G-R-I-A-N. That was how it was spelled, right?

Grian shook his head and shrugged his concern away. The others would know it was his name, even if he had misspelled it.

By the time Grian got back to his room, Scar was limping down the hall with his elbow crutches. Scar had a wheelchair, but the two-story dorm wasn't designed with disabled people in mind, apparently, so he kept it downstairs, folded away in a coat closet no one used. When moving around the dorm, Scar could afford to go slowly with his crutches. The stairs were always a hazard, but he'd found his own way to manage them.

“Hey!” Scar smiled.

“Hi,” Grian gave a small smile back.

“Almost ready to go?” Scar asked.

“Yeah, just about,” Grian nodded, “Have you had breakfast?”

“Uh, yeah. If two hours ago counts as breakfast, still.”

“Two- Scar, the hell were you doing up at 7 am?”

“Leg pain,” he grimaced. “And then, well, Jellie needed food, and then that made me hungry, so I got some breakie for myself, and-”

“Okay, okay, save the story for later,” Grian chuckled. “Let me grab my bag then we can go.”

“Righteo,” Scar winked. “I'll meet you downstairs.” Grian nodded and entered his room once more.

He grabbed a small red backpack off his door hook. It clashed slightly with his outfit, but Grian always felt better having his bag with him. Inside he'd keep his phone, wallet, earbuds, noise cancelling headphones, various fidget toys, a collapsible water canteen, and a snack. With all of his items checked, Grian turned to leave when the voice spoke to him again, reminding him to grab Maui and Pearl.

Maui and Pearl were two cat shaped plushies that fit in the palm of Grian's hand. He would sometimes take one or two of them when he went to the doctor, or had an exam, anything he found stressful, but hanging out with Scar wasn't the normal occasion in which he'd take them with him.

Still, in efforts to make the voice stop, Grian reluctantly packed the two small cats and headed downstairs to meet Scar.

The two ended up going to a local coffee shop for drinks to take with them on their day out. It was queer friendly, had disability access, and had flavours that Grian was sure you could find elsewhere, but it didn't taste the same as this coffee shop. While he was pretty sure he knew what he wanted, Grian decided to look at the menu anyways.

That was his mistake.

The voice came back once more, begging for a lavender drink. Grian wasn't the biggest fan of lavender. He didn't hate it, but it wasn't his favorite, either.

“And for you?” the young person behind the bar asked Grian, Scar having placed his order. Grian panicked.

“Uh- I'll take a latte with Lavender,” he paused, listened to the voice in his head, sighed, and repeated what it had said. “Oat milk, please.”

“Coming up!” the person behind the bar smiled. “That'll be 12.87,” they said to Scar, who nodded and got out his card.

“Oh, you don't have to pay for me!” Grian murmured.

“Nonsense,” Scar waved him off, “it's what, a 6 pound drink? It's not a big deal. Although, I thought you didn't like lavender?”

“Me too,” Grian huffed. Scar gave him a confused look.

“If you want we can probably change the order-”

“No, no,” Grian shook his head, effectively cutting the other off. “I don't want to be a bother. It's fine, I promise.”

“If you insist,” Scar shrugged, adding the tip a
before leading the way to a table to wait.

When their drinks were called, Grian got up to get them. He could instantly smell the slightly lavender scent of the syrup in his coffee. It was slightly off-putting but the voice in his head … was soothed by it. Rather than screaming and yelling like it had all morning, it settled down and seemed to enjoy the flavor.

Grian relaxed a little, too.

After they were about halfway through their drinks, Scar and Grian decided to head to the local thrift shop. It had narrow lanes that made it hard for Scar to navigate, but it at least had a good selection of items and wasn't all too pricey, meaning even as teens who only received allowances from the school, they could pay for a few items.

Grian and Scar ended up on separate isles, at one point, leaving Grian inspecting the unisex items, which was just one rack between the mens and womens section. Behind Grian was mostly skirts and dresses, and apparently, that was a problem, because the little voice that had been quiet for the last half hour came back full force, demanding he inspect the dresses. Grian refused. He hated dresses. The only reason he had one was so that when he met his parents they wouldn't comment on how he should “dress more appropriately” for the “body he was given by God”. Grian promptly decided he was done shopping and went to find Scar.

Scar was a few isles into the men's section, and had selected a few t-shirts and a pair of shorts that Grian couldn't imagine himself wearing. Scar held up one of the shirts and grinned.

“Do you think I could get Mumbo to wear this?” he asked. Grian laughed. So did the voice.

“No way. He'd kill before giving up his suits.”

“I think I could,” Scar pouted. “Its black, and the style of it would match his pants just fine.”

“Good luck,” Grian shook his head. “So, you done shopping?”

“Done,” Scar nodded. “You?”

“I’m good,” Grian said, but really, he just wanted to leave so the voice would stop yelling about the dresses.

The two of them made their way over to the line, and waited patiently behind the two people in front of them, who had a few items each. Grian and Scar didn't end up having anything to say, so they waited in comfortable silence. Well, as comfortable as being alone with your wild thoughts could be. Grian did anything he could to avoid acknowledging the voice, fidgeting and looking at his phone before finally breaking down and asking Scar about the weather. Eventually, it was Grian's turn to check out and he approached the counter.

The voice inside his head started crying.

This only annoyed Grian, further. As the cashier handed him his bag, Grian nodded a thanks, then headed for the door, needing fresh air and to just get away before he exploded. Scar called his name, but Grian just needed to get outside.

Once he was outside the store, Grian leaned against the wall and rubbed his face.

What do you want?! he demanded of the voice, acknowledging it directly for the first time. Why are you crying?!

It responded.

I want a dress!

No, Grian told it, I hate dresses. We are not getting a dress. They're gross, and ugly, and I hate them. Go away.

“Grian?” Scar looked at him with concern. “Grian, is something wrong?”

Grian’s control slipped.

“Dress!” he cried. Scar gave him a confused expression, now.

“Dress? Did you.. see something that triggered you?” Scar guessed.

Grian clenched his fists and took back control.

“No, no, it's fine. It's nothing. I'm fine,” he gritted out.

“You don't… seem fine,” Scar told him. “Maybe you haven't had enough water? Did you bring your canteen?” Grian nodded, not trusting himself to speak, but he remained still, not able to move, all his efforts focused on staying in control.

Then it happened.

Grian sat on the ground and started crying. Scar was at a loss, but leaned over to put a hand on Grian's shoulder.

“G? Are you okay?”

Grian sniffled.

“Dress not ugly!”

“Oh.. really?” Scar waited for an explanation. Grian nodded.

“Dress not ugly! Dress pretty! I like dress. I want dress. Pants uncomfy,” Grian complained, pulling at his pants as if he could tear them away from his skin.

“Woah, woah, hey hey,” Scar murmured. “It's okay. You.. you can get a dress if you want. Then you can wear that, okay?” he suggested, just trying to get his friend to stop crying.

“Okay,” Grian sniffled again. “Okay.” Slowly, he stood. Once he was on his feet, however, his posture was completely different than before. His knees turned inwards and he hugged himself looking … smaller. He stared at the ground before mumbling something.

“Sorry, what was that?” Scar asked.

“Hand?” Grian requested, a little louder. Scar frowned.

“Sorry, I need both hands for my wheelchair.”

“Oh,” Grian said before nodding. “Un’erstan’” he lisped before heading back into the shop. Scar followed, keeping a close eye on Grian, but taking out his phone occasionally to message Mumbo about Grian's … strange behavior. Just to see if Mumbo knew something he didn't.

Eventually, Grian picked out a dress. It was one Scar wouldn't have expected Grian to choose in a million years. It was short, pink, and the skirt was made of tulle.

“Dress!” Grian presented it to Scar with pride.

“Are you sure you want that dress?” Scar questioned. Grian nodded firmly. “Alright then,” Scar shrugged. “Let's check out. Again.” As they approached the line, Grian tapped on Scar’s shoulder, then whispered to him.

“Talk for me? I scared.” Scar raised a brow but complied, helping Grian check out. They then headed to the changing rooms. Grian put on the dress he just purchased, and came out looking much happier. Still, it was weird seeing Grian in a dress.

“All good?” Scar checked. Grian nodded happily. “Good. Now where do you want to go next?”

“Toy store!” Grian suggested with bright eyes. Scar chuckled.

“Good one, G. But let's try something else?”

“Not G,” Grian pouted.

“What?” Scar tilted his head.

“Not G,” Grian repeated. “Not my name.” Scar did a double take.

“G.. you're acting really strange. Look, if this is a bit its.. not funny any more.”

“Not G!” Grian said, louder and firmer.

“Geez okay,” Scar sighed. “What is your name, then?”

“Name is…,” Not Grian paused. “I don't know.”

“what do you mean ‘ i don't know’”

“I don't know my name,” Not Grian frowned. “Just know not G.”

Scar bit his lip.

“Okay. Okay just… let me think,” he muttered. Scar racked his brain for anything that might help, but ended up with nothing. Either Grian was messing with him, which wasn't out of the question, but unlikely at this point, or something serious was going on, in which case… “Hey, uh.. how about we go home for the day? I'm feeling a bit tired,” Scar half lied. Not Grian hesitated, then nodded.

“Home,” Not Grian agreed.

Scar smiled gently and led the way towards the dorms.

About halfway home, Not Grian stopped in place. Scar took a moment to notice, so by the time he turned around, Not Grian had started holding the skirt of the dress with confusion. Not Grian looked down at it, up at Scar, then spoke.

“Scar … tell me that did not just happen?”

Grian didn't speak for the rest of the way home. He didn't even stop to switch out of the uncomfortable, itchy, horrible dress. He ignored all of Scar's questions and concerns, telling him “it was nothing” or “it didn't concern him”. Scar didn't take too well to the latter.

Once they were home, Grian practically ran to his room, making sure to avoid everyone he could and took off the dress as soon as physically possible, not even caring if he tore the delicate straps. He went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face.

“Where are you now, huh?” Grian growled at his own face. “You've been screaming at me all morning, then you take over my body, and now you disappear? Real mature,” he snarled.

No response.

Grian yelled and slammed his fists on the counter so hard it hurt.

“Grian!” Scar’s voice carried into the room. “Grian, unlock your door. Please? I just want to talk.”

Grian cursed and slipped on a slightly used t-shirt and a pair of pants before making his way to the door. He opened it a crack.

“What do you want?” he asked darkly.

“I'm sorry, okay?” Scar sputtered. “Im sorry. I- I shouldn't have let you get that dress. I just- you were crying and- and I was so confused I- I don't know what's going on with you. I'm sorry. You- you can be mad at me but please, talk to me!”

“Im not mad at you,” Grian mumbled. “I just…,” he looked down the hall, then opened his door wider. “Just, come in already.”

“Thank you,” Scar murmured and limped over to the bed to sit. Grian closed the door and wracked his brain for where to start.

He didn't want to tell Scar. He didn't want to tell anyone. He didn't want to admit just how insane he was. But … Scar had seen it. Grian owed him an explanation. And if Scar abandoned him the… maybe he deserved it

“Do you ever…” Grian started, then stopped.

“Do you ever..?” Scar prompted. Grian signed.

“Do you ever have like- intrusive thoughts? Intrusive thoughts that are just- so loud it like someone else is speaking to you?”

“Sorta,” Scar shrugged. “I mean, I get intrusive thoughts from time to time but, it's not like I had OCD.”

“Right. Well, just imagine you do, right? Except, instead of the intrusive thoughts being ‘stab someone’ or ‘turn off and on the lights 20 times’ its ‘i want ice cream’ or ‘i need a nap’.”

“So, normal thoughts?”

“No!” Grian groaned. “No I mean- okay, imagine with me you're an … an architect! Yeah. And then you're working on all your architect stuff, and enjoying it, loving your job, and then all the sudden there's a part of you that wants to be a veterinarian. But it's not you its like- your brian just decides ‘i want something else right now’, ya know?”

“It kinda sounds like ADHD,” Scar admitted. “Wanting new things all the time? Thats an ADHD thing, isn't it?”

“Yes, but this isn't that!” Grian grumbled. “Its not ‘ive done this for too long, im bored and need something new’ its like- its like I want one thing, and my brain wants another.”

“Oh.. that sounds .. annoying,” Scar murmured.

“More than that!” Grian started to shout, and pace the room. “It's annoying, it's horrible, but mostly it's just terrifying! I think I'm going insane, Scar. My brain and who I want to be just don't line up! I hear these- these voices in my head! They tell me what they want, but it's never what I want. And then sometimes, sometimes I feel like those voices take over my body. I don't have any control and I just come back to them having done all sorts of weird shit. But that's crazy, right? That's insane! This is my brain, my body, only I am controlling it. Maybe- maybe it's psychosis! Maybe I am insane and-

“Grian, breathe,” Scar interjected, “You're hyperventilating.”

Grian was, in fact, hyperventilating. He groaned and sat next to Scar on the bed, pulling on his hair.

“I don't know what to do, Scar.”

“Im… not sure either. Maybe we should talk to TFC? Even if he can't tell you what's wrong, maybe he has resources for you” Scar reasoned. Grian shook his head.

“No. I- I don't want to tell anyone else. I trust you. But… I don't know. I'm just not ready yet.”

“I get it,” Scar rubbed his back. “I get it. Thank you for trusting me, though.”

“You kinda deserve it, after today,” Grian huffed.

“Still,” Scar insisted. “Thank you. Because now, I can help you.”

“How?” Grian muttered.

“Research,” Scar decided, pulling out his phone. “I don't care how long it takes. We are going to figure out what this is. And maybe we can't treat you with drugs, but I'm sure there's something - like meditation, or journaling!”

“Maybe,” Grian hummed. “Im just not sure if people really talk about this sort of thing on the Internet.”

“Never know till you try,” Scar chirped and started searching away. Grian smiled a little.

“Thanks, Scar.”

“Anytime. You're my friend, Grian. I'm always here for you, whether you're insane or not. I promise.”

When the two of them shared a hug, Grian felt hope for the first time since he'd moved to Stonehaven. If Scar could accept him … maybe so could the others.

Chapter Text

Keralis was exhausted. That was the only word he could even think of to describe his current situation. It was Midterms week, meaning all of the students, himself included, were taking their halfway exams. Unfortunately, unlike finals weeks they were still expected to attend classes like normal, meaning late night studying resulted in a very tired Keralis.

By the time he walked from his last class to the dorm, he was very much looking forward to a nice bath and a nap, but that is decidedly not what happened when he entered the dorm, and X and Ex immediately approached him. “Why hello Shashwami and Exshwami!” Keralis exclaimed in his usual happy tone.

“Hey,” Exsona managed a small smile. “Can we uh.. get your advice with something?” “We've been going back and forth between the two of us, but can't land anywhere solid,” Xisuma explained, “and you're the next most responsible and very trustworthy.” Keralis raised his eyebrow in question, motioning for them to continue. “Er, it's better we talk in private,” Xisuma decided, and grabbed Keralis’ hand to guide him to Xisuma’s room. Exsona followed. “Oh-” Keralis exclaimed as he's dragged away. There goes his chances of taking a nap. Once the door was closed, Xisuma sat on the bed and Exsona at the desk chair.

“So…,” Xisuma started. “Let's say you have a friend, who you … think might be doing something bad. But you don't know for sure. And you know that if you approach them directly, there's a chance they may straight up lie to your face.” “Ok who are you talking about first of all.” He said with a serious tone. “We're not allowed to tell you that,” Exsona huffed. “Its not that we don't want to, but we made a promise not to out them. They said they'd stop, but we're just unsure if they actually have.” “Right…have you talked to TFC about it” Karalis asked concerned

The twins looked at each other. Xisuma sighed. “That… was the other part of the promise. We're not supposed to tell TFC unless we're sure their life is in danger. And he has access to everyone's medical files, for emergency purposes, so he could in theory figure out who if we aren't careful about what details we leave out.” “Alright i think you need to sit this person down and have a GENUINE talk and tell them that while yes you promised you're concerned for them and will have to tell someone” Keralis said looking the twins in the eyes.

“You make it sound so easy,” Exsona crossed his arms. “Not saying it's a bad idea, just saying that it's more complicated than that. If we do tell someone, then our friend might get upset and do something rash. And I'd hate to see what that means.” “Maybe that's why we should tell,” Xisuma murmured. “If it's so severe we're worried about … that, then I think they might need more help than they can get here with just TFC.” “Exactly, just try to, everyone here normally opens up at some point and they seem to already trust you” Keralis already emotionally drained. But now on top of that he's scared for one of his friends' lives. Great. At least, the twins seemed to come to an agreement, then, and nodded.

“I'll tell TFC,” Xisuma decided. “Ex, you'll stay out of it. If he's going to be mad, it shouldn't be at the both of us.” Exsona hesitated, but nodded again. They both turned to Keralis and thanked him. “Always!” Keralis forced a smile the best he could before hugging the twins and leaving the room.

When he left, Keralis was walking to his room, but he didn't get far before Hypno approached him, looking nervous and sheepish. “Hi Hyp!” “Hey,” Hypno greeted, and rubbed his neck. “Are you like, busy right now?” “No! My schedule is wideeeee open!” Keralis said with another forced smile. “Oh, good. Great,” Hypno smiled a little. “Then uh.. could you- damn it- could you like, have dinner with me? Normally I'd sit with Bdubs, but he's at a club meeting at the moment.” “Of course!" “Awesome. Thanks,” Hypno smiled wider. “I already made dinner, I just need a friend so I don't feel like I'm eating too much or too little, ya know? And to uh.. keep my mind off the food.” “Hypno im always here if you need a friend to eat with or even just talk!” “Thanks man,” Hypno was grinning now, and led the way to the kitchen, where he had prepared some food.

“Do you want to eat here or somewhere quieter?” Keralis asked with a small but genuine smile after they had both gotten their servings. “Here,” Hypno decided, “silence is sorta the enemy right now. Too quiet, and the thoughts start getting to me, ya know?” Keralis Nodded sitting down at the table with him.

It wasn't far into the meal when Tango came running down the stairs, Impulse behind him. Tango immediately hopped the couch, landing on the other side, putting the furniture between him and Impulse. “Give it back!” Impulse pouted. Tango blew a raspberry. The two circled the couch once or twice, bickering and laughing. Hypno happily watched them play at whatever was going on, but Keralis wasn't exactly enjoying the sudden loud sounds. His leg bounced at a rapid pace trying to rid some of the anxious energy that filled his veins. But it wasn't working. Everything was too loud, too bright, and too much. Hypno didn't notice until Tango and Impulse made their way back upstairs, and he turned back to Keralis, still chucking.

“I swear, Tango is alwa- are you okay?” he frowned, noticing now that Keralis didn't look his best. He had his eyes squeezed closed and he was shaking. However when Hypno spoke it was like a switch flipped. He opened his eyes, sat up straight and forced a big smile. “Yep a-ok!” Hypno gave him a look, but shrugged “If you say so. Anyways. Where were we?” The two talked through the rest of dinner, and for about half an hour afterwards, despite Keralis getting increasingly more lethargic. It wasn't until Bdubs came in the front door that Kerlais got an excuse to scuttle off to his room. “Hypno, I’m gonna go study, let me know if you need me!” he rushed out scurrying upstairs and to his room but right as he was about to open the door someone called his name. ‘SO CLOSE’ he thought before turning around.

“Keralis?” Grian was a few feet away, just outside his own room, fidgeting more than normal. He also wasn't looking Keralis in the face, which was odd considering Grian was one of the best of them at maintaining eye contact. “Can… Can I talk to you? Please? It'll just take a moment, I swear.” “Of course! However I might not be the best right now, I'm a bit tired, but I'll listen!” Grian bit his lip. “Er, nevermind, then. We can talk some other time,” he muttered, but something about how dejectedly he had said it made Keralis worry that Grian would either speak now, or never. So he sighed and resigned to his fate. “No- we can talk now!” Keralis exclaimed. Grian perked up slightly. “Alright. Your room or mine? This is uh- kinda personal. I'm not ready to tell everyone else yet.” “whoevers room you'd be more comfortable in” Keralis said with his now signature fake smile. “Your room is fine,” Grian hummed and followed Keralis inside.

“Have a seat anywhere you like!” Keralis said sitting on the bed. Grian hesitantly sat at Keralis' desk, making sure not to knock anything off it with his oversized sweater. It was silent for a moment as Grian considered what he was going to say, but then he second guessed himself and the silence stretched on until Keralis broke it. “Dont worry I wont tell anyone” “Thanks,” Grian flashed a smile. “That… helps. Scar knows, though, by the way. If you have questions, and don't want to ask me, you can ask him. Honestly, he did most of the research so he might even know more than I do.” Keralis nodded, gesturing for him to continue. Grian took a deep breath, then let it out.

“Okay. So I haven't told TFC, but I think I need a psychiatrist. See, I was talking to Scar about some things, and I realized that I have these … parts. They're kinda like me, but also not me. For example, one part is a little girl. It's been worse the past two years or so, but I've mostly hid it until now. Scar found out by accident, really. We think it's most similar to OSDD; Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder. Basically all these parts are dissociated versions of me that never really came together because of … well, what my parents did. And it's just been really really hard pretending they're not there or having to fight for control all the time just so I don't look weird in front of you guys. So Scar said I should try talking to you all, starting with those I trust most … I considered telling Mumbo, but he's got enough on his plate right now. So I guess I'm not looking for your opinion, but just … letting you know that Scar and I think I might have a dissociative disorder, and that as I start unmasking, I might start to act different at times. Does any of that make sense to you?”

Keralis nodded although he was still processing everything. “Right…” he said, still trying to fully understand. Grian pursed his lips when Keralis' response was short. “Do you think I'm crazy?” he couldn't help but ask. “NO! Of course not! I'm just trying to fully understand everything!” Keralis explained quickly. Grian relaxed. “Okay. Okay yeah. I understand that it's a lot. I mean, I'm the one experiencing all this and Scar still has to explain it to me about two or three times. So I get it. Like I said, you can ask either of us questions. I just wanted you to know.” Keralis opened his arms for Grian, offering a hug. Grian smiled and leaned into it for a moment before pulling away. “Thanks for listening, K. I'll get out of your hair now.” With that, Grian left, leaving Keralis to his own devices.

But that didn't mean Keralis had the time to nap. It was too late, now, and now, it was time to study for the next exam.

He sighed, got his notes and textbooks out and sat down to study. He could barely focus, having to re-read paragraphs over and over again, just trying to grasp the material. He tried copying key words to his notebooks, but it only did so much to help the brain fog. Due to his exhaustion and slow brain, it was 2 am in the morning before Kerlais decided he'd studied enough and could go to bed. However when he laid down he just couldn't sleep. Insomnia wasn't something Kerlais had, but tonight thoughts swirled around in his head, keeping him from closing his eyes. To distract himself, he got on his phone, and then, before he knew it, his 7AM alarm went off.

He sighed, getting out of bed and dressing in black pants, a black shirt and a button up shirt with bright yellow sunflowers all over it. Once he was satisfied with his appearance he went downstairs and started making pancakes for everyone, since he was already up and awake anyway. He started by cutting up fruit and getting the chocolate chips out for toppings. He then got to work making 2 pancakes (they are like the IHOP ones) for everyone. However about halfway through Keralis burnt his hand on the stove. He had started nodding off, causing him to lose balance, and when he set his hand down to balance himself, it was just a bit too close to the burner. It wasn't a bad burn, necessarily, but it still hurt like anything.

Others started to come downstairs as it approached 7:45, and Keralis greeted them as similar to normal as possible. No one seemed to notice anything off until Keralis lost balance again, this time hitting the pan handle and causing it, along with the pancakes on it, to flip onto the floor with a loud clang. Everyone gathered at the kitchen table and living room turned to Keralis in the kitchen, who was muttering under his breath as he bent down to pick up the pan.

“Christ, K, are you okay?” Ren asked, walking over. Keralis mumbled a response and tried to pick up the hot pancakes with his bare hands, resulting in the still gooey batter on his hands, burning them further. He yelped and stumbled backwards. It was a short fall, as he was crouched, but a fall nonetheless and he hit his head on the cabinets. It was a horrible series of events that had Ren and a few others rushing over to help, but Kerlais couldn't make anything out but blurs and noises.

Then everything was black.

The next thing he knew he was waking up to TFC, X, and Ex hovering over him. “Wha-” He tried to sit up but was guided back down by Ex. “Stay still,” he instructed. “X is bandaging your hands right now. It's not bad, but they're burned. Just- relax and breathe for a moment, yeah? You're gonna be okay.” “What happened?” he asked confused, “last thing I remember I was making breakfast” “You passed out,” TFC answered, calm as always, but his face was taught. “Im done,” Xisuma said, letting go of Keralis' hands, which were now in bandages. TFC thanked him quickly before turning back to Keralis. “Can you tell me how you're feeling?” “Tired. Really Tired.” TFC frowned. “Ren said you hit your head on the cabinet handle. You may have a concussion, if you hit it badly enough. Are you dizzy? Or nauseous?” Keralis just nodded. “Alright. I'm going to call for an ambulance. They'll make sure nothing gets worse on the way to the hospital.”

Keralis panicked. He didn't want to go to the hospital. All he wanted to do was take a nap. Xisuma noticed his wide eyes and shushed him gently, telling him to rest.

In the end, it didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive. There was a hospital just off campus, so it was a short trip there. It was decided that Keralis did not have a concussion, but was severely sleep deprived and needed rest, so he was sent back to the dorm on bed rest. TFC made sure a note was taken to excuse Keralis' exams that day.

That evening was when everyone was home again. They were all relieved to see him okay, but overwhelmingly concerned with the fact that Keralis had been pushing himself so hard he passed out, and none of them had noticed until it was too late.

In Keralis’s room he was laying in bed falling asleep after the exhausting past 24 hours. No one was allowed in his room, lest they disturb his sleep, but TFC checked on him periodically. Once he finally woke up at near 10pm, TFC sat him down for a talk.

“Keralis. I'm worried about you. Today was exceptionally bad, but I've noticed you've been really tired recently. Your grades have been slipping, too. Is there anything you need to talk about?” That's all it took. Keralis started crying while explaining how overwhelmed he's been with school, his friends and helping them with all their problems. And how mad he felt with himself for not being able to say no. TFC listened with a hand on Keralis’ back, letting the teen cry out his feelings until he could hold a conversation again. At which point, TFC took both of Keralis' hands in his.

“Keralis, can you look at me for a moment?” The teen anxiously looked up at TFC. “Good,” he smiled, “Now I want you to listen closely. I, TFC, give you, Keralis, permission to say no anytime you need. I know that it can be hard to set boundaries, but that is the only way we can keep ourselves safe. When you pushed yourself too hard, you ended up scaring all your friends. It's better to be honest, and let them know when you're not able to help just then. It doesn't mean you can't help them later, and it doesn't mean you're a bad person if you can't help them at all. It makes you human. And human is not a bad thing to be, okay?” “Ok…” Keralis said barely above a whisper. “Im so proud of you,” TFC said. “And I will always be proud of you. You're very kind and generous. Just make sure you're kind and generous to yourself, too.” “I- Ill try” Keralis forced out. “And that's good enough for now. And remember, you can always talk to me, or any of your friends, too. You're not alone, Keralis.”

In the end Keralis learned the hard way that setting boundaries is important and he's not a bad person if he puts himself first. And TFC, and Keralis' friends, were sure to remind him of that every now and then.

Chapter Text

Cub had been getting into rocket science. Literally. Just making little mini rockets and launching them. Just as a hobby for now and maybe a future career if he managed to actually perfect the design so that the rockets flew the way they were supposed to.

Cub groaned annoyed as yet another rocket went off course. He watched it crash into the ground, denting slightly. He walked over and picked it up. The sun was starting to set, but he wasn’t done with this rocket yet. It was the closest he’d been so far. So he walked over to his little set up of tools and makeshift table, which was a stone bench of the park he was at, and tried to put it back the way it had been minutes before. When it looked right to him, he got up to test it one more time. However when he launched it something went really wrong. The seal that was supposed to release pressure after a certain point, seemingly didn’t, resulting in the pressure causing the rocket to explode. Cub lifted his arms to protect his head, as a piece of hot metal flew at him. It hit his forearm, resulting in a nasty cut, but also leaving a burn in its wake.

Cub yelped and waved his arm instinctively. It took him a second to pull his senses together and look at his arm. There was a cut, perhaps an inch long and surrounded by blisters on either side. Apparently the metal had been superheated by the pressure, enough to cause second degree burns. As he considered his wound and the mess around him, he instantly freaked out. He could get in trouble for this. If TFC thought he was doing something dangerous, then doctors may have to get involved, and Cub needed to avoid that at all costs. It was just a small mistake! He’d fix it next time for sure. As Cub packed up his stuff, he thought about how the other students in his dorm would react. Would they make fun of him? Outcast him? God knows they wouldn’t coddle him. As far as Cub was concerned, they were gonna get mad and abandon him- TFC might even send him away. So, in a moment he made his decision.

He was going to hide his injury by all means possible.

When Cub did finally make it back to the dorm, it was past sunset. Dinner had been made and served, leaving the others busy eating, allowing Cub to sneak upstairs to his room without notice and bandage his wound. He slipped out of his shirt and exchanged it for a long sleeved shirt that covered his whole arm. He couldn’t let anyone find out. Cub didn’t eat dinner that night, too nervous to stomach it. Xisuma stopped by to check on him, but Cub was able to lie his way out of it, saying he was feeling ill and just wanted to rest.

By the morning, Cub’s illness was miraculously cured. However, now he was twice as hungry. He made his way downstairs to make breakfast. A few of the others were already awake, but it was really only the early risers. Cub looked through to see what they had, and eventually decided on breakfast tacos. He walked over to the table, where he sat with his headphones on so no one would try to speak to him. The others knew that usually when Cub uses his headphones first thing, it's usually a bad day and he wants to be alone. Today they respected that as well, even when Cub flinched as he rested his arms against the table instinctively.

Note to self; no arms on the table.

Cub went about the day relatively normally. Sure, his arm hurt some, but it was mostly just a dull throb at this point. He hadn’t really run into issues until that afternoon.

“Hey, Cub,” Joe approached him. “Yeah?” “Uh- it’s your turn to do the dishes,” Joe murmured. Cub felt his blood freeze in his veins. But he had a quick reaction. “I’ll do them later.” “They’re kinda stacked up-” “I said later,” Cub insisted. “I- I have an exam I’ve got to take in fifteen minutes,” he straight up lied. Since when did Cub lie? “Oh..” Joe trailed off, then smiled. “Well, good luck on that. I’ll wash a few by hand and you can just do the rest when your exam is over.” “Thanks,” Cub smiled, then got up and went to his room, playing the part he had set out for himself.

He stayed there until it was dinner time, and Exsona came and knocked on his door. “You joining us tonight?” he asked. “Yeah,” Cub replied, knowing if he skipped two dinners in a row, someone would notice something was off. Afterall, even Hypno attended the dinners, regardless of if he ate or not. “I'll be down in a bit” Cub beamed at Exsona with a painfully fake smile. Exsona didn’t seem to catch it, nodding and heading on without him.

Cub sighed in relief before double checking his bandages in the bathroom, making sure they hadn’t bled through or anything dramatic during the day. They hadn’t, so satisfied for now, Cub headed downstairs. Sitting at his favorite spot at the table. With his dinner already set there waiting for him.

Almost everyone else was there except for Hypno who needed some coaxing today. He eventually came down with Doc. With everyone seated, TFC began serving. Apparently tonight was a TFC dinner- which was always everyone’s favorite, as there was something particularly charming about his meals. Homey, warm, comforting. Normally, Cub would be ecstatic. But tonight’s meal was southern fried chicken and required a knife to eat properly, which means Cub would have to use both hands. He swallowed heavily and looked around the table as others started eating.

“You good?” XB, who was sitting next to him, asked. Cub nodded. “Never better,” he assured before picking up his utensils. Using the knife hurt. The simple pressure of having to push down made it so that Cub’s arm felt like it was on fire. He was sure his face portrayed his pain, but no one seemed to notice. He finished eating early, as soon as he could claim he was full, and put the rest away for another time. He went to go upstairs when TFC cleared his throat.

“Cub. Aren’t you forgetting something?” he prompted. Cub turned around with a frown. “Huh?” he hummed, confused. “The dishes, it's your night” TFC gestured to the sink. “Oh,” Cub responded dumbly. Fear settled into his heart. He looked around at all the eyes trained on him. He really should have just done it earlier when it was just Joe. Cub swallowed. “Could.. Could someone else take over tonight? I just don’t feel too well-” “Cub, you used the same excuse yesterday to skip dinner. Is everything ok?” TFC asked with a concerned look. “Y-yeah!” Cub stammered. “I’m fine. Forget it- I’ve got it handled,” he smiled and walked over to the sink. With the dishes actually in front of him, he hesitated. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this one? Most of the others had returned to eating, but TFC was still eyeing him suspiciously. Cub sucked in a deep breath and started to do the dishes, keeping his sleeves rolled down even as they started to get wet.

Cub hated the feeling. His sleeves were cold, wet, heavy and dragging on his skin in all the wrong ways. Water was dripping down his arm. He tried to use his body to block this fact, but his sensory issues overwhelmed him faster. The water was too hot, his sleeves too cold, the water on his arms felt like bugs crawling on his skin, the chatter was too loud, the lights too bright, and his body was running hot with fear and embarrassment. A hiccup escaped him before he knew what was happening.

“Cub?” Joe asked as he was packing up the leftovers into containers. “You ok?” “I-I’m fine,” Cub forced out, even as his vision blurred from tears. “I’m fine, I'm fine,” he repeated, as if it would make it a true statement. “And I'm Brittish” he said with a pointed look. Cub laughed, dryly, which then opened up into full on sobs. Joe walked over, turning off the water and guiding Cub to a seat. “Hey whats wrong i cant help if you dont tell me” Joe said gently. Cub shook his head. There were too many eyes on him now. Even if he wanted to tell Joe, he couldn't. “I'm fine,” he insisted. “Could you tell me in private?” Joe asked, looking around the room seeing some of the others looking at them. Cub wasn't sure, but the idea of being away from everyone was so appealing that he nodded anyway. “Your room or mine” Joe asked. “Mine, please,” Cub requested quietly. “Ok” Joe said while gently guiding Cub to his room.

Once in his room, Cub relaxed a bit. But only a bit. Afterall, Joe was still with him, but at least he could breathe without feeling like there was an arrow in his throat. “So what's wrong?” Joe asked gently. Cub swallowed. “My sleeves got wet,” he commented. “Why didn't you roll them up?” Cub pursed his lips, unsure how to answer. “I … don't want to talk about it ,” he said decidedly.

Joe raised his eyebrow “Cub, what's going on…are you doing anything to yourself” Joe asked concerned. “No,” Cub assured, shaking his head. And god did it feel good to tell the truth again. “I'd never do that. Not on purpose like that.” “Then what's going on?” Joe asked again, looking extremely worried. Cub sighed. “It's - it's not a big deal. Okay? I just- I was messing around and I hurt myself and- its not a big deal!” he mumbled. “Can I see it? Just to be safe” Joe requested. Cub pursed his lips again and finally decided to just take off his shirt. Good riddance to the goddamn wet sleeves.

Unfortunately, the cut must've opened up, and the sleeves had soaked the bandages, making it look worse than it really was. “Holy shit Cub” Joe exclaimed. “Its not as bad as it looks,” Cub frowned. “Here. Let me just-” he removed the bandages, showing Joe the cut and blisters. They were still red, but did genuinely look better than the day before. “See?” Joe instantly relaxed. “Can I clean it just to make sure” Joe asked. “I already cleaned it today,” Cub assured. “I have hydrogen peroxide in my cabinet. I don't want to clean it again- it hurt a lot.” “I mean, yeah, cleaning wounds hurts sometimes, but its necessary” “No, It hurt a lot.” Cub insisted.

Joe narrowed his eyes. “Is it medical grade?” “Its.. 12%?” Cub tried, having no clue what the medical grade for Hydrogen Peroxide was. Joe’s eyes widened. “Christ, Cub. Are you trying to give yourself a chemical burn, too?” “What?” Cub frowned. “Medical grade is 3%,” Joe explained. “You used 12%. What were you thinking?” “I- I just thought hydrogen peroxide was hydrogen peroxide” Cub muttered. “Aren't you a science nerd? You should know that dilutions and percentages matter,” Joe huffed. Cub rolled his eyes. “Engineering and biology are not the same thing, thank you very much.” Joe chuckled slightly. “Whatever you say man. But come on, let's wash it with soap and water this time.” “Fine,” Cub agreed.

Joe led him to the bathroom. He told Cub to rinse his arm before he used a washcloth and a soap he double checked was medically safe to carefully clean the wound, being as gentle as possible. After that, it appeared to be clean of debris, so Joe applied ointment- which they had to go to Joe’s room for- and bandaged it again. After it was clean Joe sat Cub down. “Now why didn't you tell anyone?” “It was my own fault,” Cub mumbled, hugging himself. “If I had just- done it right- or hell, if I had never touched that goddamn rocket, then I would've been fine. It's all my fault. And I didn't want TFC to send me away for doing something dangerous. I mean, usually this doesn't happen! It's just a fun little hobby, mostly harmless. I just- made a mistake, okay? It's not a big deal.”

“Cub. you are simultaneously the smartest and dumbest person I know” Joe took a deep breath “No one would get mad at you for getting hurt.” Joe said gently. “But TFC-” “No, getting hurt on accident sometimes is a completely normal thing” “God,” Cub breathed. “And you thought I… oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't - I didn't want to worry anyone with this but I guess that's what I ended up doing anyway, huh?” “Hey breath. You were scared. That's normal” “I was dumb,” Cub continued to chastise himself. “That's what. I made you worry, I made-” “Hey- "Joe attempted to cut him off but Cub was stuck in his own head. “I made TFC worry- god I bet everyone's worried now. All because of some dumb mistake-” “Cub-” cub still kept going. “I’ve got to tell everyone now, too, huh? Just- ‘hey-” “CUB” Joe raised his voice, snapping his friend out of his rant.

Cub looked up at him with wide eyes, brimming with tears. “No- im sorry you were rambling and you were out of it” Joe rushed out trying to console his friend. Cub took a shaky breath. “Y-yeah… I was- sorry.” “Do you need a hug?” Joe asked “I’d like one, yes,” Cub nodded. Joe opened his arms letting his friend take his time. Cub leaned in happily, putting his chin on Joe’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he murmured. “For everything. For being here for me.” “Always. Your my friend” Joe smiled. Cub smiled back.

Hand in hand, the two of them ended up going to TFC to explain the situation. TFC gave Cub a good talking to about honesty and safety, but allowed Cub to continue his experiments, given that he waited until they could get him some proper protection, considering he was working with metal. And of course, Joe was sure to teach Cub how to properly clean and bandage wounds. Cub learned in the end that he's allowed to make mistakes, even if he gets a little hurt in the process, and he will always have his friends- not friends, family to fall back on.

Chapter Text

“Bdubs,” TFC called. The boy twisted in his seat on the couch, looking away from the game of sorry he was playing with Etho, Beef and Doc.

“Yeah?”

“There’s a phone call for you,” TFC said. His face was grim, and that made Bdub’s heart sink. Bdubs nodded anyway, and got up. He walked around the couch and into the office room where the phone was. The parents of the students weren’t allowed to contact them directly, but they could request a call. TFC entered the room with Bdubs and shut the door. Bdubs picked up the phone, and TFC took the caller off hold.

“Hello?” Bdubs murmured, tensing.

“Bdubs? Is that you?”

“Guude?” Bdubs exclaimed, excited to hear his old friend’s voice. He and Guude had been friends for years, alongside Etho and a few others, but when Bdubs had moved into the dorms two years ago after his parents’ divorce, the only time they saw each other was when Bdubs visited the ranch, where his horses lived alongside Guude’s and other riders’s horses.

“Hey..,” Guude murmured. “I.. I have some bad news.” That’s when Bdubs realized just how bad things were about to get.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Mi Amore. We just had some vets visit and… she has cancer. Lymphoma. And she’s sick they- don’t think she’ll make it. It’s.. Mr. Bleason said he wanted to talk to you about it in person to come to a decision, but he wants to put her down.”

In seconds, Bdub’s world had shattered.

“Bdubs?” Guude questioned his silence. Bdubs turned to TFC.

“How soon can I go to the ranch?”

—

“You're such a good girl,” Bdubs cried. “Always such a good girl.”

“If you're ready..?” The vet prompted. He nodded, but Bdubs would never be ready. Not really. Not for this. She was his best friend. For years, she had been his only friend. “She'll be feeling a state of euphoria, soon,” the doctor said as he slowly pressed down on the syringe. Bdubs nodded and sniffled. Very quickly, her knees began to shudder.

“You feel it, sweet girl? Does it feel good?” Bdubs asked. She huffed in response. She swayed, took a side step to steady herself, then laid down. Bdubs kneeled beside her, head resting on her back while he played idly with her mane. Her head bobbed, as she seemed to fight the drugs coursing her body. “Shh, shh,” Bdubs' murmured “Just relax, that's it, that's it.” Eventually, she put her head down and shifted to lay on her side. Her eyes began to slowly close, but never fully shut.

“This is the euthanasia,” the vet informed gently. “I'm going to deliver it now. She won't feel a thing.”

“Goodnight, sweet sweet girl,” Bdubs teared up more. As the vet pushed on the syringe, Bdubs wrapped his arms around her neck and held her tightly. I’ll see you soon,” he whispered in her ear, ”we’ll have a race and everything, and you’ll come first place, yeah? You go have a good time until then.” After about a minute, the vet pulled out his stethoscope. He met eyes with Bdubs and nodded.

“She's gone.”

Bdubs sobbed into his horse’s coat.

—

Bdubs returned to the dorm completely shell shocked. It didn't feel real. Nothing felt real. He stood in the foyer, looking at nothing in particular. Even though she had never set hoof in the door, it somehow felt like the house had fundamentally changed. Like the whole world had fundamentally changed.

“Hey,” Etho smiled from the couch, making Bdubs jump a little. “TFC said you'd be back around this time.” Bdubs only hummed. Etho frowned. “Hey, are you okay?” Bdubs bit his lip. Despite his efforts, his eyes filled with water. He shook his head. He wasn't okay. He was never going to be okay again. “Oh-,” Etho stood and walked over to Bdubs. “Dubs, what's wrong?” Bdubs stumbled out a few syllables, but he couldn't get any full words out. Etho changed tactics. “Would you like a hug?” With no hesitation Bdubs leaned into Etho. When Etho hugged back, Bdubs started crying into his shoulder.

They just stood there for a while, Bdubs clutching at Etho's jacket tightly as he sobbed, Etho rubbing his back and offering silent support. Eventually, Bdubs tears came to a stop.

“Do you want to go to the couch?” Etho offered softly.

“C-can we go to m-my room?” Bdubs requested quietly.

“Of course,” Etho nodded. Etho had to be the first to pull away. Bdubs never let go of Etho's hand, but neither of them commented on it.

They passed by a few others, but none of them said anything, thank god. Bdubs couldn't handle more than Etho right now. Frankly, all he wanted was to lay in bed under the blankets and cry into next week. When they did make it to Bdubs' room, Bdubs only crashed on top of his sheets. Etho had to struggle pulling a blanket out from under him in order to lay it over Bdubs.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” Etho offered.

“She's gone,” Bdubs bit out.

“Er.. who?”

“Mi Amore!” Bdubs cried, somehow summoning more tears. “She's gone, Etho- dead! I'll never- never see her again, never hold her again, and god- the way her eyes- they never closed, ya know? In the movies when someone or something dies from euthanasia their eyes close all peaceful like- but her's didn't. And then she- she was so limp. Lifeless. It was horrible. That's my last goddamn memory of her. Just a limp, lifeless body.”

“I am so sorry,” Etho whispered. “Bdubs, I'm so sorry. I.. I know how much she meant to you.”

“She was my whole world, Etho,” Bdubs continued. “When I had no friends, I knew I had her. What- what if I forget her? Fuck what if I forget her, Etho?”

“You won't,” Etho assured firmly. “Bdubs, you won't forget her. I promise. At least- you'll never forget that love. You loved her, and she loved you. You're never going to forget that.” Bdubs nodded in response- all he could muster. Quiet settled as Bdubs cried silently, Etho sitting on the edge of the bed with a hand on Bdubs' shoulder. It was a while before Etho spoke.

“It's getting late, Dubs.. do you.. want me to stay the night?”

“You'd do that?” Bdubs croaked out, twisting to look at Etho's face.

“Of course,” Etho smiled gently. “Anything you need. I'm here for you.”

“Thanks… yeah, that would be nice,” Bdubs murmured.

“Then scoot,” Etho hummed.

“You don't mind sharing the bed?” Bdubs asked, already wiggling to give Etho space.

“Unless you do?”

“Not really,” Bdubs shrugged.

Etho settled next to him, half propped on the pillows. He lifted an arm, silently offering cuddles, which Bdubs happily accepted. Etho started to play with his hair gently. It reminded Bdubs of how he had played with her mane. He started crying again.

“Let it out, Bdubs,” Etho encouraged. “You're safe here.”

That made Bdubs cry twice as hard. By the time his tears stopped, he was on the brink of unconsciousness. It didn't take long for him to nod off.

Things would never be the same. That was for sure. But he wasn't alone, and that had to mean something.

Chapter Text

Hypno knew he likely had an eating disorder. He wasn’t blind to his own eating patterns, and he wasn’t stupid. He knew it wasn’t normal to not eat for a whole day and then binge the next. He also knew it wasn’t normal to hear your grandmother’s voice in your head every time you even thought about eating. That was why he always had to watch something or talk to someone while eating- which made dinner the easiest meal, as everyone was required to join for dinner. However, other meals were much much harder, even with dining halls on campus.

Today was different though. It wasn’t that Hypno was actively trying to avoid food. It was more like his body rejected the idea. He’d wandered downstairs to the kitchen multiple times, but couldn’t find anything that sounded appetizing. What he really wanted, he realized, didn’t really exist. He wanted something cold, and soft, more like mush than food- smoothie. He wanted a smoothie. But he also knew for a fact that they had used the last of the berries a few days ago, and TFC hadn’t restocked.

So Hypno laid on his bed, listening to his stomach groan and grumble. He tried to push through the hunger, to get himself to do something, but every time he did he was just distracted by how hungry he was. But when he tried to eat, nothing sounded good, and he felt repulsed at the idea of forcing himself to eat anything solid. Eventually, there was a knock at his door. “Hypno?” Skizz called from the other side of the door. Hypno sighed. “Yeah?” “It’s almost dinner time. You coming?” Hypno silently cursed. Has that much time passed already? It explained the pang in his stomach at least. Maybe whoever was cooking tonight made something palatable. “One minute,” Hypno said, getting up and grabbing his jacket before opening the door. “Hey buddy,” Skizz grinned. “How ya doing?” “Fine,” Hypno shrugged. “Feel a little funny, but I’ll be fine.” “Funny?” Skizz repeated. “Like I said, I’ll be fine,” Hypno assured him. Skizz hummed and shrugged. “If you say so.” With that the two headed downstairs.

Just the smell alone made Hypno want to vomit. It didn’t smell bad- he knew that on a normal day he’d be drooling- but something about smelling food meant he could almost taste it, and that was as bad as eating it. Still, he powered through and sat down at the table alongside Skizz. It was Wel’s turn cooking, and he seemed to have made some sort of stir fry. When a bowl was set in front of him, Hypno stared at it with distaste. Skizz noticed.

“Hey, dude. Hard time?” he asked, quiet enough to not draw attention to their conversation amongst the others talking. “Not in the normal way,” Hypno admitted. “I- just don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” “Come on,” Skizz encouraged, “just one bite?” “Skizz,” Hypno leveled a look at him, “I promise you that if I eat something solid right now, I’ll projectile vomit all over you. And it will be on purpose.” Skizz cringed. “Eww, jeez, okay. Okay, you don’t have to eat anything you don’t want. But do you think you could drink something for me? Water? A milkshake, even?” Hypno thought it over. “You know.. a milkshake actually sounds nice,” he decided. “Yeah?” Skizz lit up. “Coming right up.”

Skizz got up and walked around the table. Hypno watched as Skizz added icecream, milk, and some weird powder to a cup. He warned everyone before blending it. When he finished, conversations resumed and he walked back over to hypno with the cup. “Here!” he beamed. “What was that powder you put in it?” Hypno asked. “Just some protein powder,” Skizz explained. “Had TFC get me some to help with my work outs. See?” he flexed. It was mildly impressive. “Anyways, it’ll make it more filling. So just drink what you want, and I’ll finish the rest, yeah?” “Thanks, Skizz,” Hypno smiled.

For the first time since breakfast that day, Hypno consumed something other than water, and it was delicious. And the feeling in his stomach after finishing it… wasn’t bad. It felt nice, even. And of course, Skizz’s grin upon seeing the empty cup was the cherry on top.

Chapter Text

All editing has been completed! Some chapters have also been rearranged! Requests and writing will now resume :3

we also now have a playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1t9OmLbLDgfHCLLGKz2bZa?si=e61a03a716494d2e

Chapter Text

After a request for one from our readers on wattpad, we have put together a discord server! This sever will be focused around this fic and relating content, but we hope it will foster a sense of belonging and community for those who wish to join! Here is an invite link! https://discord.gg/ddPSa7Gw (this link will expire in 7 days. if you are a new reader and the link has expired, please leave a comment asking for an invite and it shall be given)

Chapter Text

Scott was preparing to go to a party. He didn’t consider himself a party person, but he’d been specifically asked by his boyfriend, Liam, to go, and Scott didn’t have the heart to say no. He wasn’t sure exactly where he was going, only that it was on the university-side of campus. Liam had offered to swing by and pick him up, though, so Scott tried not to worry about that just then. Finishing fussing with his outfit, Scott decided to head downstairs to when two of his best friends, Jimmy and Tango came by, an off duty Daisy following behind.

“Hey Scott, where are you headin’!” Jimmy asked with a smile. “To a party,” Scott answered with a tentative smile. Tango's eyes furrowed and Jimmy looked confused. “You hate parties?” Tango half stated half questioned. “Yeah, but Liam invited me to one with the older kids and was very adamant I come” Scott explained while fixing his hair in the mirror. “That sounds like a recipe for disaster,” Tango crossed his arms, “Do you want a buddy?” “Ill be fine Tango,” Scott assured, shaking his head, “Liam will be there.” Scott hummed, finally content with his appearance. Jimmy was picking at the skin around his nails before Daisy intervened. “Scott, are you sure you want to go?” He asked with a very concerned tone. Scott sighed, starting to get annoyed. “Yes Jim, I'm sure.” “You just call if anything happens, okay?” Tango caved. ”Fine but nothing will happen” Scott deadpanned. “Sure, sure,” Tango nodded, “don’t do anything dumb tonight,” was the last thing he said before walking away. Jimmy paused for a second. “Please be safe” He said quietly before following Tango. “I'll be fine!” Scott called and mere seconds later there was a knock on the door. “I got it!” Scott called before opening the door.

“Liam!” Scott exclaimed happily upon seeing his boyfriend. Liam beamed back a brilliant smile, arms open. “Scott! Hey, baby,” he greeted. “Ready to go? We’re almost late.” “Yeah im ready” the younger smiled before grabbing his phone and keys. Liam waited patiently for Scott to grab his last minute items, and then put his arm around Scott’s waist, holding him close as they walked. “So, how have things been today?” Liam asked. “I think I'm doing better. I actually got a full 8 hours last night for the first time in Gods only know how long.” Scott said proudly. “I’m happy for you!” Liam smiled, “I know you’ve been hurting when it comes to your beauty rest,” he kissed Scott’s head. ”That’s insomnia for you,” Scott laughed quietly. “And classes?” Liam prompted. “How have those been?” “Not horrible but not great. It’s a lot of work and I don't have a lot of time.” “I’m sorry to hear that. You know, we could cancel tonight if you need to study. I mean- it would suck major balls, but your classes are important to you, right?” “No! Don’t worry, it's ok! It’s a nice break” Scott rushed out. Liam chuckled. “You’re cute when you’re flustered,” he commented. Scott opened his mouth to say something to defend his pride, but only ended up stumbling over his words, making Liam laugh more. When he calmed down, Liam pulled out his phone to check the time.

The rest of the walk across campus went smoothly, the two of them making small talk as they did, most of it revolving around Scott, somehow. It wasn’t necessarily a new thing, but tonight it was getting to Scott more than normal. “Why don't you ever talk about yourself?” Scott asked suddenly. Liam stopped in his tracks and looked at Scott, confusion on his face. “What makes you ask that?” “I don’t know,” Scott mumbled, not meeting his eyes and instead focusing on the clouds. “It feels like the conversation always revolves around me and I was curious why.” Liam shrugged noncommittally, resuming walking. “I dunno. Guess I just don’t think I’m that interesting?” “Well I for one find you very interesting,” Scott said with a smile. Liam smiled a little. “You’re something weird, Scott. I don’t think anyone else would look at me and think ‘interesting’ at all. Not if they really know me.” He leaned over and kissed Scott on the lips. “Come on now, enough sappy talk. We’re going to this party to have fun!” Scott laughed lightly “Alright, but we’re talking about this later?” “Not much to talk about, but sure,” Liam agreed tentatively. He squeezed Scott’s hand. The answer didn’t sit well with Scott, but he let it go anyway.

The couple eventually made it to the university side dorm. Liam led Scott up to the door, knocking. It was quickly answered by one of Liam’s friends Scott vaguely recognized but couldn’t remember the name of. Liam and her exchanged a greeting, Scott catching her name as Faith. Then she looked to Scott. “Hey, how old are you again?” “Sixteen, why?” Scott answered confused. She hissed through her teeth. “Ah. Well, you see, our dorm parent or whatever was supposed to be busy tonight, but her plans got canceled. You know that minors aren’t allowed in the uni-dorms, right?” “We’ll just say he’s 18,” Liam suggested casually. “He could look the part.” She hesitated, then shrugged. “It won’t be my problem if you guys get found out, but sure, that works.” Scott turned to Liam, anxiety settling in his stomach. “Liam you said this was allowed” Scott said warily. “Yeah, because their DP wasn’t gonna know,” Liam explained to him, “and there’s nothing saying that minors and uni-students can’t be friends, just that they can’t enter each other’s dorms.” Scott glared slightly. “Liam not being found out and being allowed are not the same thing!” “Shh, keep your voice down!” Liam frowned. “Look, are you coming in or not?” Faith asked. “I don’t want bugs in the dorm.” “I’m not sure,” Liam sighed. “If Scott isn’t comfortable… I don’t want to push it,” he said, but his entire demeanor had deflated to something sad and diminished. Guilt made Scott act fast “No, we can go in, I was just confused!” Scott lied quickly. Truth was he really didn't like this whole situation but he felt bad seeing how upset Liam was. Liam seemed unaware of Scott’s turmoil and kissed him. “You’re so brave, baby,” he praised. Scott hated the way the fuzziness mixed with his anxiety.

Almost immediately upon entering, a second woman approached them. “More friends?” she asked. Faith nodded “Yeah. This is Liam and his boyfriend, Scott. They should be the last of the crew, so don’t worry too much, Emily.” Emily hummed. “Sure, just remember, midnight lights out, don’t lose track of time- I don’t want to have to play bad cop.” “Yes ma’am!” With that, she led Liam and Scott upstairs to the bedrooms. Scott honestly just followed blindly, stuck in his own head. Liam didn’t let go of Scott until they entered a dorm room. It was somewhat crowded, as the room was really only meant for housing one student, but somehow they’d managed to shove ten students into the room, Scott and Liam included.

“Faith, you’re back! Finally!” a second woman her. “Did Emily give you a hard time or something?” “Nah, we just- talked for a moment,” Faith assured. “Now, where should we start?” “Close the door,” a man said. Faith raised a brow, but did so. As soon as it was, he went under the bed and pulled out what was immediately recognizable as a 4-pack of an alcoholic drink. Scott was immediately uncomfortable. Drinking reminded him of his parents, not to mention the fact he was very much under-age. But he stayed quiet just observing the party. There were a few cheers, a groan as well, but generally it was a well received thing.

The alcohol was passed out, with people sharing drinks in solo cups that had seemed to appear out of thin air. One was passed to Liam, and then one handed to Scott. “Oh um no thank you I don’t drink,” Scott denied the beverage politely. “Fair enough,” the person shrugged and decided to just keep the drink for themself. “All good?” Liam whispered to Scott. “Yeah, I just don't like drinking. You can if you want, though” Scott answered. Liam nodded. “Okay. If you change your mind, you can have a sip of mine, K?” “Mhm” Scott responded, knowing full well he would never even consider it.

The party went relatively smoothly. No one got drunk, but a handful of them were tipsy, it seemed. Tipsy or not, Liam seemed to be a bit touchier than Scott would have preferred. The two of them had ended up sitting on the bed with Faith and one other person. To conserve space, Liam had managed to talk Scott into his lap. There was nothing inherently wrong about it, but something about the way Liam’s hands rested on Scott’s hip made him feel uncomfortable. Somehow, sitting in his boyfriend’s lap felt too intimate for this situation. But Liam was happy because he was here- and for that, he could grin and bear the discomfort. Eventually, the conversation had shifted to Scott.

“You’re pretty quiet, huh?” Jacob, the guy who had brought the alcohol asked, leaning on the bed near them. Right as Scott was about to answer Liam cut him off “He tends to be nervous when there’s a lot of people,” Liam shrugged. “Just how he is, don’t take it personally.” “Does he need a drink?” Jacob suggested. Liam shook his head. “Nah, he’s underage.” “Didn’t stop you.” Scott butt in “I'm 16” he explained. Jacob’s eyes widened. He looked between the two of them. “Okay- first, dude, what the hell. You brought a minor?” “He’s my boyfriend,” Liam defended. “Besides, he’s very mature for his age, ya know? That type.” “Whatever- just wish you would have told us before we pulled out alcohol around a minor. Does he even go to the school?” Jacob asked. “Yeah I’m in dorm H” Scott muttered. “Dorm H?” he repeated. “You mean like- the hermit dorm? You’re one of those traumatized kids?”

Scott nodded even though he didn't understand why it had been said with the tone Jacob had used. “Yeah…is that a bad thing?” “I- oh geez,” he shook his head, “You’re pretty fucked up, aren’t you? I mean, you’re dating someone three years older than you-” “Shut up,” Liam snapped, pulling Scott a little closer. “You have plenty of questionable relationships yourself. Look. I know it looks bad, but Scott and I love each other, okay? Ages are just numbers, or whatever. He’s not twelve.” Scott was freaked out by the tightened grip and forced himself out of Liam's hold, sitting next to him instead. Liam immediately noticed, but displaced where Scott’s discomfort was coming from. He stood up.

“Come on, Scott, let’s go.” “Why?” Scott asked, confused. Liam sighed. “Look, I don’t know what you’re willing to put up with, but I’m not going to sit here and be judged for who I love.” “Dude,”Jacob deadpanned. Liam didn’t back down. “Liam, calm down.” Scott said firmly even though his hands were shaking as flashbacks circled his head. Liam's behavior was hitting too close to home- all too reminiscent. Scott swallowed heavily. “You're acting like my father,” he said quietly. Liam’s face crumpled to concern. Jacob looked at Liam with distaste.

“You remind your boyfriend, who is a 16 year old from dorm H of his father! Do you not see how wrong that is!” Jacob exclaimed. It only wound up Liam again. “So what, he has daddy issues?” Scott flinched. “He’s working on that, you know. Way to go ahead and point out everything wrong with him. First he’s in the wrong relationship, then he’s from the wrong dorm, what next? His hair is too blue?” Liam raised his voice gesturing at Scott quickly, earning another flinch. Liam hardly noticed, grabbing Scott’s wrist- not forcefully, but quickly, and starting to step towards the door. Scott dug his heels into the floor.

“Liam you need to chill before i go anywhere with you” Scott said with a practiced even tone. “I’ll chill once we leave,” Liam huffed, “I’m not leaving you here alone with a bunch of people you don’t know.” “Look, I'd rather be here than with you when you're angry and drunk.” Scott said voice not wavering once. Liam glared at Scott. It wasn’t something that had happened often, if ever in their relationship, but for the first time, Liam seemed angry enough to explode. He defused, though, letting go of Scott and leaving without a word, only a door slam in his wake. Scott let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. “Shit” he muttered quietly. “Good riddance,” Jacob muttered.

“Where do you live?” Faith asked, suddenly at Scott’s side. “H-dorm,” Scott muttered in mild shock. “I’ll drive you home,” she offered. “Please” Scott muttered. Jacob, who seemed to have gained a protectiveness for Scott, asked if he could come too. Faith pursed her lips and glanced at Scott, giving him the final say. Scott nodded. He decided to text the H-dorm chat saying that he would be home soon, and to give him some space. “Ready to go?” Jacob asked, making sure he had all his stuff. Faith nodded and led them out the door.

Liam was downstairs in the kitchen area. He looked up when the trio came downstairs, but quickly looked away. Faith walked over, said something to Liam, who nodded, and then opened the front door to lead the way to her car. It was a short drive, only nearly five minutes, but this late at night a drop off seemed safer than them walking. “You take care,” Faith said as Scott got out of the car, “And for the record, we’re all sorry tonight happened the way it did for you, Scott.” “It's ok ive had worse but um…can you tell Liam to give me space for a bit?” he requested quietly. Faith nodded. “I’ll do my best, kid.” “I’ll make sure of it” Jacob stated. Once Scott was out, Faith pulled away from the sidewalk and drove off, leaving Scott alone just outside the dorm.

Scott took a deep breath before entering the dorm and heading straight to his room, closing the door and flopping on his bed. He didn't know what to think. Liam didn't do anything to hurt him directly, but there were too many things about the night to look past. They swirled in Scott's head, making him feel sick. He didn't know how long he was sitting there in the dark before he heard a knock on the door.

“Hey,” Tango called. “I know you said you wanted space but I just wanted to make sure you ate well enough at the party if you're skipping dinner tonight.” “Im fine,” Scott replied quietly. Tango hummed. “Okay,” he said, sounding hesitant. “If you… need to talk, you know where to find me,” he said before walking away. It wasn't until the next morning that Tango and Jimmy talked to Scott again. The two had noticed Scott was still holed up in his room, decided enough was enough and went to check on Scott once more.

Tango was the one who knocked. “Scott? Are you awake?” His words were met with silence. Tango frowned. “Scott, it's nearly 11:30. You can't stay in your room all day just because it's Sunday. You missed dinner and now breakfast, so you will be joining us for lunch. I-” Tango hesitated, “I'll get TFC involved if I have to,” he threatened. Scott still didn't answer but a quiet groan was heard. Tango decided it was sign enough that Scott was awake. “We'll be back in an hour, got it?” Silence once more. Tango fidgeted, worried. Scott wasn't one to be like this, normally. He was independent, sure, but there was a fine line between that and social isolation. Regardless, Tango pulled Jimmy to his room to pass the time.

Once the hour passed Tango and Jimmy went back to Scott's room as promised. “Scott, it's lunch time,” Tango said firmly, but not rudely. “I'm fine, Tango. I'm not hungry” Scott said bluntly. “You skipped dinner and breakfast,” Tango huffed, “we're not going to let you starve in there. If you're really not hungry at all, then come open your door and say it to my face.” There was some shuffling before a disheveled Scott opened the door. “Im. Not. Hungry” he emphasized before attempting to close the door.

Tango immediately inserted himself in the gap. “How much water have you had since you got home?” he asked, continuing to probe at Scott. “Enough” Scott said flatly walking back to his bed. “And enough sleep?” “Plenty. Listen I'm fine you don't have to worry” Scott replied after burying his face in his pillow. Tango frowned. “The more you say that the more I'm convinced you're depressed. But if you won't let me help you, then I won't force myself. That's TFC’s job. But hey- talk to me when you're ready, got it?” He turned to leave when Scott huffed. “Wait-” Scott said sitting up. Tango looked back at him. “Yeah?” “It's Liam…” He mumbled quietly. “Oh?” Tango tentatively moved closer to Scott's bed while Jimmy waited by the door. “At the party…a lot of things happened and I don't know how to feel about them.” he said so quietly that Tango almost didn't hear. Tango nodded slowly.

“Can you tell me what specifically? Or at least what your emotions might be?” he suggested gently. Scott hesitantly nodded. “It… It started normal. But it was a party with adults, so of course alcohol had to be involved,” he scoffed. Tango cringed, knowing Scott had a negative history with the substance, even if details hadn't been shared. “Liam had some but things were- fine, I guess? It was a little uncomfortable but it was fine. But then he and this guy started talking about him and I and- Liam just got so mad. I told him to calm down or leave without me and he ... left.” “Scott… I'm so sorry,” Tango murmured. “That must've been terrifying to be abandoned like that.” He was met with a small nod from Scott who leaned on Tango a bit. Tango put an arm around him. “Why didn't you call me to come get you?” “I don't know, I was scared,” Scott muttered.

“Well, at least you're home safe now,” Tango said, “and you don't have to go to any party you don't want to ever again.” “What do I do about Liam? I don't want to break up with him but I don't know how to talk to him.” Tango pursed his lips. “I don't have much relationship experience but … honesty is always the best policy, as far as I'm concerned. If you can't be honest, then that's a huge red flag. And to be honest? I see a lot of red flags… I would definitely let him know what's bothering you, but also that if he doesn't change, he might lose you.” “I know your right…unfortunately” “It's rough, but it's important to keep yourself safe,” Tango reminded. “How about I help you write a script?” “please” “...After lunch?” Tango tried hopefully. “Fine,” Scott agreed hesitantly. “But I don't want to go down there.” Tango nodded. “I'll be right back with some food.” He hugged Scott before leaving. Jimmy followed Tango downstairs.

When Tango returned with food he and Scott ate in silence which Scott was very thankful for. Tango had a harder time letting the quiet last, but occupied himself with food and running through script ideas in his head until Scott had also finished eating. “So, firstly, are you going to have the conversation in person or over the phone?” “Phone,” Scott answered. Tango hummed. “That gives us a lot of space to work timing-wise. But we'll have to be more careful about word choice so we don't sound rude or anything. But let's start at the beginning. When did you start questioning the relationship? Just last night, or before?” Scott curled in on himself. “I guess I've always questioned it…I just never realized.” Tango mulled it over in his thoughts. “Right. So let's say something like ‘this made me realize that’ sort of thing?” he suggested. “When did you realize that things were bothering you?” “I think when his friend called out how- fucked up it is when you look at the whole picture.” Tango tilted his head. “When did that happen? Was it last night?” “mhm” scott responded quietly. “Arlight. So how about something along the lines of ‘the other night made me reflect on our relationship and I realized a few things have been bothering me’?” “yeah that sounds right ... I’m scared, Tango, "Scott mumbled. Tango frowned and hugged Scott. “You’re going to be okay man. I know it’s scary, but this conversation needs to happen. And you know that Jimmy and I will be here for you no matter what.” “Thank you” Scott said with a smile.

Tango spent the next half hour helping Scott carefully pick his words to send a message to Liam. It was difficult for Tango to convince Scott to be honest, but he had managed to get Scott to admit to at least the issues that were most concerning. It took time to work up Scott’s courage, but eventually, he hit send on the message. “You did great,” Tango beamed at him. “Tango, what if he comes here to talk to me-or-or I don't know” Scott rambled. “Hey, hey,” Tango held his hands gently, “If he comes here, you know we can always get TFC involved. And if he ever tries to- do anything- I won’t let him, okay? I don’t care if he’s older than me, I’m not afraid to beat his face in.” Scott smiled “What would i do without you Tango?” Tango shrugged. “You’d probably survive. But you don’t have to worry about that- I’m here and I always will be.” Scott nodded, leaning into him. He was terrified of Liam’s response, but in his room with Tango, he was able to breathe and remember that his new family would always keep him safe.

Chapter Text

Beef couldn’t actually hear what was being said, but that only made it worse. It wasn’t like the others to fight, but that wasn’t to say there weren’t occasional tiffs. 25-plus students with varying mental and physical health issues had to eventually result in some disagreements. Beef was aware of that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just the nature of their situation. He refused to say anything on the topic. It wasn’t their fault that they fought from time to time, just as it wasn’t their fault he was so sensitive. Laying in his bed, he could imagine the scene unfolding downstairs. Etho with his eyes narrowed in distaste, Bdubs gesturing wildly. It was sometimes impossible to discern the line between pretend and real, genuine fighting. So Beef did his best to stay out of the way, and right now, that meant cowering in his room with his door closed and locked. But he had no idea if the fight was even really happening- their words muffled by the walls so that he could only hear the volume with which they yelled at each other. Bdubs yelled something, and Beef whimpered under his breath, pulling a pillow closer to his chest as if it would save him.

He knew that if he wanted he could get his noise cancelling headphones and then he would no longer have to listen, but then, he would no longer be able to listen. It would mean that he would have no idea what was happening, for better or for worse. He would have no idea if they were louder, quieter, throwing things, hurting each other, coming to hurt him.

A knock at his door caused him to yelp. Beef was silent, heart racing. “Beef? Are you in there?” TFC called. Beef relaxed marginally, knowing that TFC was a safe person. TFC doesn’t yell, he doesn’t throw. He speaks calmly, he breaks up fights. He keeps them all safe. The yelling of Etho and Bdubs could still be heard downstairs, but TFC was at his door, asking for him. Beef swallowed heavily, pushing through his fright response. “Y-yeah.” “There’s a gift for you downstairs,” TFC said, “Just arrived a few minutes ago. Would you like to come get it?” “Later,” Beef said, ever aware of the potential dangers that awaited downstairs. “Alright. I’ll make sure you come get it by the end of the day,” TFC responded before walking away.

Left alone to the silence of his room again, Beef could feel the tension build once more. Why wouldn’t they stop yelling? Were they angry? Were they hurting each other? Beef couldn’t breathe and tears came to his eyes. He buried his face in his pillow and tried to muffle the sounds of his hyperventilating, whines and whimpered of terror. Eventually, the yelling died down, but Beef remained in the headspace of fear. He was too afraid to leave the confines of his room, to walk downstairs and see the destruction. So he sat there and waited for a sign of safety that never quite came.

Doc was in his room when he heard the yelling start. His first thought was ‘again?’ He rolled his eyes. Knowing Etho and Bdubs, they were probably yelling about something entirely pointless. His next thought was to check on his friends. Not everyone fared the best in these circumstances; he went to each of their rooms until he made it to Beefs. He didn't hear anything through the door so he knocked “Beef are you there?” Beef had been struggling to regulate himself, and once again made a sound of fear when there was a secondary knock on his door. The yelling had died down by now, but it was still tense. He recognized the voice as Doc’s. Beef took a shaky breath. “Doc?” “It's me,” Doc confirmed , “can I come in?” he asked gently. “Door’s locked,” Beef stated. “I- I- er- give me a moment.” Beef took a deep breath before slowly getting to his feet. He just barely managed to make it across the room on wobbly legs to unlock the door and open it for Doc. Doc’s expression told Beef one thing: something was wrong.

“Are you doing ok Beef?” Doc asked quietly. Beef decided to cut to the chase. “What happened?” he questioned, neglecting to answer Doc. “Nothing crazy, Etho and Budubs just had a little argument, everyone's fine. But are you ok?” he asked again. Beef hesitated. “I- I don’t know,” he admitted. “They- they were so loud. They- they were fighting? Are you sure they’re okay? No one’s hurt? Is anything broken?” “No, they were arguing there’s a difference. No one is hurt, nothing is broken, everyone is safe i promise” Doc said with a calm tone. Beef nodded and let out a shaky breath. He leaned against the door frame, then let himself slide to the floor in relief. His body was tired from managing his anxiety, and his mind was much more tired. He was still shaky, but at least he could breathe in enough oxygen to keep his head from spinning. “Woah lets get you to bed you look exhausted” Doc stated while gently helping Beef up. “Sorry,” Beef murmured. “I just- they were so loud,” he repeated in a whisper. “Don’t apologize, just get some rest. I'll be here if you need me,” Doc said with a small smile. Beef returned the expression. “Thanks, Doc.”

For a while the two remained in Beef’s room, sitting in silence with the occasional idle conversation. In the wake of the panic, Beef ended up falling asleep. It felt like no time at all had passed before Cleo came by, knocking on the door, which had been left cracked open. “Hey boys, dinner,” they announced. “Can you keep a plate for Beef?” Doc asked while carefully getting up trying not to wake his sleeping friend. Cleo nodded. “Of course. It’s a little late to be sleeping, though. Is he alright?” she asked quietly. “Etho and Budub’s argument freaked him out. He should be fine though,” Doc replied, meeting Cleo in the hall and closing the door behind him. “Poor thing,” Cleo frowned. “Those two really need to get their crap together. They’re as bad as living with a toxic couple, I swear,” they chuckled. “Maybe I’ll give them a talking to, if TFC hasn’t already.” Doc chuckled a little as well. “Yeah maybe we can mention it at dinner,” Doc suggested, getting a relatively normal portion of dinner. Cleo smiled to herself, proud that her friend is beginning to eat properly.

In groups at a time, the others who weren’t already seated joined the rest in the dining room. Etho and Bdubs walked in together, laughing and smiling, pinkies hooked together in that way they did some times. Cleo walked over and cleared her throat. “Hey guys. Eventful day?” they prodded. The two shared a look momentarily. “You could say that” Bdubs said, eyeing Cleo suspiciously. “What’s this about?” Etho blurted, not being one to beat around the bush. “You two had quite the argument earlier,” Cleo hummed, “It was very loud.” Etho cringed. “Sorey,” he said. Doc walked over and joined Cleo. “If possible, can you both apologize to Beef? Your argument sorta freaked him out to the point that when he calmed down he couldn't keep himself upright.” Cleo gave him a look, surprised he would share so much, but Doc had always been blunt. Etho and Bdubs both nodded. “First thing after dinner,” Etho assured. “Good boys,” Cleo smirked. Doc nodded, going back to his spot and finishing about two-thirds of his food before he couldn't eat anymore and going back to check on Beef.

By this point, Beef had woken up and was at his desk, working on some course work it seemed, though he looked up when Doc walked in. “Where’d you go?” he asked. “Dinner. We have a plate waiting for you when you’re ready,” Doc replied sitting on the bed. “Oh- is it that time?” Beef frowned. He looked at the time on his phone. “Man. I slept for a while longer than I thought,” he stood up. “I should head down, huh? See if I can catch the tail end of any announcements TFC has?” “Its up to you, don't force yourself,” Doc said with a small smile, happy his friend seemed to be doing significantly better. Beef nodded. “I should eat. It’ll help me feel better, anyways. Oh- and I think TFC said something about a package earlier, so I should check that out too,” he decided, heading for the door.

He managed a few steps outside his room when he ran into Etho and Bdubs. He blinked a few times, trying to slow down his thoughts. “O-oh- h-hey!” he waved. “Everything… okay?” he questioned. “Yeah, don't worry!” Bdubs assured, “But we wanted to apologize," he said quietly. Etho nodded. “Doc sorta told us about- earlier. We didn’t realize we were being loud enough to… we’re both very sorey,” Etho explained. Beef smiled softly. “It’s alright guys. Thanks for apologizing. It’s not your fault I’m sensitive.” “Maybe not, but we should still do our best to be aware of ourselves,” Etho insisted. “You’re a good friend of ours, the last thing we want is to make you feel unsafe.” “Thanks,” Beef smiled and offered a hug to the two of them, who accepted with varying degrees of enthusiasm. With apologies delivered, Bdubs and Etho headed on their way, leaving Beef and Doc to continue the trip downstairs.

Almost immediately upon his arrival to the dining room, TFC turned his attention to Beef. “Glad you could join us tonight,” he smiled. Beef returned the expression. “Yeah, me too. Sorry I slept through most of it.” “It’s alright, Doc filled me in on what happened,” TFC said. “There’s a plate for you in the fridge,” Cleo beamed. “Thanks,” Beef made his way over to get it from the fridge, and heated it up in the microwave. While he waited for it to heat, he turned to TFC. “So, you said there was a package for me?” “Ah, yes,” TFC nodded, standing, “Let me go get it for you.” With that, he disappeared into the office. A few more of the students finished eating and said their goodnights, leaving Cleo, Doc, Beef, xB, and the Knight twins. TFC returned and handed a decently heavy box to Beef. Beef set it down next to his food, deciding to open it after he finished eating. However, he didn’t fail to notice the postal sticker stating who it was from, making it hard for him to actually eat the food he had put in the effort to prepare.

“What is it?” Wels asked. “It’s… from my mum,” Beef answered. Cleo frowned. “Is that a bad thing?” “Not… not always,” Beef shrugged, “but it's not normally good news, either.” Doc looked at him concerned but continued sipping on the protein shake Cleo insisted he had even though he ate already. Beef did finally manage to stomach through his meal, cleaning the plate. The twins went upstairs and TFC excused himself to the office. Beef took a deep breath, holding the box with both hands. “Do you want me to open it for you?” xB offered. “No, I can do it,” Beef decided. He pursed his lips, but eventually found it in himself to pull the tape off the box and open the flaps. Inside was a card and an item wrapped in butcher paper. Cleo and Doc, who were sitting either side of Beef, did their best to give him privacy to read, but had to intervene when Beef started biting his hand. “Hey, don’t do that,” Cleo frowned, gently pulling it from his mouth. Doc took off his fidget ring and gave it to Beef so he had something else to do being a silent rock grounding Beef.

Beef sighed, picking up the ring. “My mum wants to divorce my dad,” Beef said. “No offense, but isn’t that- kinda a good thing?” xB asked. “My dad doesn’t want to go through with it,” Beef continued. “Oh,” xB frowned. “Yeah. She said they had a big fight, but that she’s staying with a friend for now. Wanted to let me know what was going on so that I won’t be surprised if she does manage to convince him.” “I suppose that’s nice?” Cleo tried. Beef shrugged. “At this point, I don’t know what to make of it.” “And that's completely fine,” Doc assured. Beef nodded. “So… what’s in the box?” xB redirected. “No clue,” Beef admitted, taking out the bundle of paper and bubble wrap. It took Beef unwrapping it completely before he realized what it was. He yelped and put the glass-containted candle back in the box immediately. Doc reacted accordingly after realizing what it was and took the box to the other room before returning.

“What the hell was she thinking, sending that,” Cleo glared at nothing in particular. “She should know better!” “It- she doesn’t- she doesn’t really know,” Beef whispered. “It’s not like I told her or dad that they are what caused my ptsd.” “You don’t have to keep it if it's triggering for you,” xB reminded him. “You can always throw it out. Or if you feel bad doing that, I’m sure someone here will gladly take a candle.” “Dont force yourself to keep it just because it's from your parents” Doc said taking Beef’s hand away from his mouth again. “I…” Beef trailed off. “I’ll just- hold onto it for now. I’ll keep it in the box and under my bed until I decide what to do with it,” he decided. “If you’re sure,” Cleo murmured. Beef nodded. “It’s late anyways. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to ask if anyone wants it.”

“Would you want to stay in my room tonight or vise versa? I don't think you should be alone right now,” Doc asked gently. “I’m fine,” Beef said firmly, “Its- its just some glass. It’s not even broken. And as long as it stays on the floor, it won’t break. And it’s not like someone is going to come into my room in the middle of the night and throw it at me,” he laughed bitterly. “Still,” Cleo placed a hand on his shoulder, “It’s been a long day for you. It’s okay to need some support when dealing with an unexpected trigger.” “I said I’m fine,” Beef insisted, standing. “I’ll be fine. Goodnight,” he rushed out before heading to the other room, scooping up the box, and making his way to his room.

In the Kitchen Cleo had to stop Doc from following their friend upstairs, deciding that giving him space is better than pushing him. “If he needs help, he’ll come to us when he’s ready,” she said, although they sounded unsure as they said it. “But-” “He obviously wants space right now,” xB reasoned. “It’s not like he’s bound to hurt himself with it or anything. We can check on him first thing tomorrow.” Doc sighed and hesitantly relaxed. “Fine.” Celo smiled softly. “Well, I think it's about time we all wrap up and head to bed ourselves, yeah?” she suggested, standing. The other two nodded, helping Cleo clean up the kitchen before they all headed to bed, Doc helping XB up the stairs as he was struggling a bit today.

Beef didn’t sleep for some time. He’d taken the candle out and set it on his desk to stare at it from across the room. It was a scent he’d normally have liked. He wondered if he could convince Cub to melt it down into a new container for him, but that would only be admitting that he was genuinely triggered by a stupid candle. A candle had nothing to do with the wine glasses his father used to smash on the walls or the window his mother hand managed to shatter. It was, in all honesty, just a pretty container. There was nothing wrong with it. There was only something wrong with him. He was sensitive. Broken. Shattered by his past. There was no reason he couldn’t enjoy the candle except for his own dumb brain getting in the way. Beef forced himself to pick up the candle, even as his hands trembled.

He took deep breaths, trying to keep his head on straight. The glass was smooth and cold in his hands, so cold his brain tried to convince him that it was hurting him, but logically he knew it wasn’t. Other people liked glass. Glass was generally seen as an object of wealth. Plastic was for children, or cheap livers. Or for broken people, like Beef. But it wasn’t his fault. None of it was. He wasn’t the reason his parents fell out of love. He wasn’t the reason they ended up together in the first place. He wasn’t the reason they were violent. He wasn’t the reason he was traumatized. It wasn’t his fault, and yet here he was paying the consequences.

Anger consumed him, hot and blinding. He hated this. He hated his parents. He hated everything. He hated himself. He hated this god forsaken candle. Before he knew what he was doing he threw the candle at the wall. The glass shattered loudly, shards spraying across the ground. The wax of the candle itself made a heavy thud on the ground. And then Beef was gone.

He was taken back to the first time it had happened. He’d been standing by his mother, trying to convince her to just leave before things got worse, but she wasn’t having it, refusing to take the mistreatment. Things escalated. Things got louder and louder until Beef’s father reached into the cabinet and pulled out a wine glass, one of his mother’s favorites. He slammed it on the ground. She shrieked and stepped forward, trying to wrestle the rest away from him. Beef was terrified, his parents that were supposed to be keeping him safe trying to tear each other down. He ran over and tried to insert himself, tried to use his body as a physical boundary between them, but they didn’t stop. Then a glass had broken right over Beef’s head. It had been an accident, but it had happened all the same. Blood. Beef had been covered in blood.

He was covered in blood now, too. From head to toe, he was wet with blood. He was shaking and only able to stare at the broken glass, forgetting everything he’d learned about how to safely clean it up. But he had to clean it or someone was going to get hurt. Beef got to his hands and knees, scooping the glass into a pile. He flinched as shards pressed into his skin, but he didn’t stop until it was all out of the way where no one would step on it. And then he allowed himself to lay on his side and cry. He was scared and alone, and even once the flashbacks started to fade, terror was filled with guilt and self-hatred. How had he allowed himself to stoop so low? He was just like them; violent. No one would trust him if they knew what he’d done- that he was capable of hurting someone. He rushed to get the glass into his bin, but that wasn’t enough. He had to get rid of the evidence. Beef slipped on his shoes and tied the bag, then put another one around it for good measure. Then he slowly crept out of his room, trying to move through the house quietly.

However he was interrupted by Doc and Cleo who were heading to his room quite fast. Upon seeing him Doc sighed in relief. “Are you ok! We heard something breaking and- oh shit your hands are bleeding!” Doc rambled. Beef could barely see through his tears, but looked down at his hands. They were in fact bleeding, more so now that they were tensed around the handles of the bag. “What happened?” Cleo asked, moving closer. Beef took a step back. “No- no don’t- don’t come closer! I’ll just hurt you!” he cried, continuing to move backwards. “Beef, watch for the stairs!” Cleo called out. Beef didn't hear her warning in time to rebalance himself. He tumbled down the stairs with a shout. Cleo and Doc ran down the stairs after him as others started to open their doors to check out the commotion.

Beef couldn’t see. The world was spinning and everything hurt. He could make out voices that he vaguely recognized, but placing who they were took a few moments longer. Doc, Cleo, and TFC sounded the closest. There was a soft buzz of other concerned voices, but they sounded further away. “Beef look at me,” Doc said. Beef groaned and tried to focus on the blob that sounded and vaguely looked like Doc.

Doc was freaking out. One moment he had been in his room studying the next his friend fell backwards down the stairs and hit his head so hard that he was unconscious for a full 5 minutes. Within that time, Cleo had gotten TFC, who had called an ambulance. For now, Doc and TFC focused on keeping the barely conscious Beef awake while Cleo kept everyone else out of the way. “Beef why don’t you tell me about that project you were working on” doc prompted desperate to keep his friend awake. Beef mumbled in response, unintelligible at first but slowly sobering. “You mean the one with- owww, fuckkk, everything hurts.” Doc looked at TFC unsure what to do. As if on cue, sirens could be heard. They were far off, but approaching. Beef flinched as they grew louder, only to whimper in pain from moving. Doc stood up “Ill show them where to go,” he stated before heading out the front door.

Beef blinked and reached for the blob that was Doc as it moved away. “Shh, try to stay still,” the blob that was TFC instructed. “You’re very hurt and need to stay still until the paramedics get you to the hospital.” Slowly, things started to clarify. Beef blinked a few more times. “What- what happened?” “You fell down the stairs,” TFC answered. “You hit your head and blacked out. But you’re going to be okay,” he assured. Beef opened his mouth to speak but was hit with another wave of pain that rendered him quiet, sans the whimpers of pain.

The paramedics were quick once they entered the building, in and out with Beef within a few minutes. “I’m going to head to the hospital,” TFC announced. “I am responsible for Beef’s well being, so I am obligated to go. Xisuma is in charge until I return. I encourage all of you to try to get some sleep, or at least rest.” Xisuma looked a bit shocked but nodded. TFC left, and Xisuma corralled the others into slowly heading back to their rooms. Xisima, after doing a quick headcount realized Doc was still frozen in place by the door. “Doc? Let's go to bed. It's better for you to be rested when we get news rather than exhausted.” He was met with a nod and X got his unnecessarily tall friend back to his room and settled before heading to his brother’s room and staying there for the night.

Beef was home by the next morning with a diagnosis of a grade 3 concussion. It was a severe case, but he was released under TFC’s care once he was stabilized. TFC had practically carried Beef to bed, where he slept for a good number of hours. Once he woke up, though, Beef still didn’t leave his room, guilt eating at him. He couldn't recall everything that had happened, but he knew he had caused quite a ruckus with the whole incident, and he wasn’t ready to face reality yet, even as the cuts on his hands served as reminders of his accountability. Meanwhile it took half the dorm to keep Doc out of Beef’s room while he rested. Eventually, around midday, TFC permitted Doc to check on Beef with some food and water.

Doc knocked on the door “Beef is it okay if I come in?” Doc asked quietly. Beef didn’t respond properly, only humming dismissively and curling in on himself. “Is that a yes orrrr” Doc asked confused. Beef sighed. “I- fine,” he said, just loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door. Slowly, Doc opened the door. “Hey, how are you feeling?” “Like absolute crap,” Beef answered quietly. “I come bearing dark chocolate, your favoriteeee” Doc says, setting the bag next to Beef. Beef didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry,” he responded instead. “Why are you sorry?” Doc asked, genuinely confused. “I mess everything up,” Beef hugged his pillow close as tears came to his eyes. “If I was just stronger then- then I wouldn’t have- and then the stairs-. I- I don’t normally say this, but I think I hate myself right now. Like, a lot. I’m not any better than my parents,” Beef sniffled, trying to hold back his emotions. Doc sat down gently next to them “Its ok to feel like that sometimes and you did the best thing you could do when you feel that way; talk about it. Now why dont i get TFC and we all sit down and talk about why you feel this way?” Doc suggested quietly.

Beef hesitated. “It was the glass. I just… thought I was stronger,” Beef admitted. “But I- I was so angry. I’m not even sure I remember why. But I was angry and I threw it at the wall,” he gestured where there was a small dent in the wall. “I’m just like my parents. I can’t control myself. I’m just as horrible as them.” “You are nothing like them Beef. you have trauma and you reacted to a trigger, it doesn’t make you bad that you can't control that.” Doc said playing with his friend’s hair, knowing that helps him calm down. Beef let out a shaky breath. “I just wish I was stronger- that I was over this. I wish I wasn’t triggered just because someone is too loud or because I have something made of glass.” “Would you say the same if it was X and Ex or Scott or Cleo?" Doc asked. “That’s not the point,” Beef huffed. “But it is,” Doc insisted. “You’re being too hard on yourself.” Beef hummed. “I.. are you mad at me?” “Never” Doc promised. “Annoyed sometimes sure, mad never.” Beef took a deep breath. “Thanks for the chocolate, Doc,” he murmured. “Anytime…so do you want to sit in silence in each other's presence or watch a movie?” Doc asked with a smile. “...can we watch District 9?” Beef requested. “Sure! I've never seen it so it'll be fun!” Doc replied, grabbing Beefs laptop and pulling up the movie.

“Hey, Doc?” Beef whispered as the trailers played. “Hm?” “You’re a good friend,” Beef said. “I think you’re better than I deserve sometimes. I think you might be an alien.” Doc raised an eyebrow “Thank you, you always deserve a friend. And for the record, I’m not an alien!” Doc exclaimed, fidgeting with Beef's hair unconsciously. Beef laughed, even though it gave him a splitting headache. There was no doubt about it, Doc was definitely an alien. But more than that, he was part of Beef’s new family.

Chapter Text

It all started in the locker room after soccer practice. The locker room is never a pleasant place. It didn't matter how much Hypno liked his team, the smell of twenty four sweaty boys after hours of practice was never welcome, and the grey floors and tight spacing didn't help. Then there was the actual point of the locker room- a changing space. For a long time, Hypno had used bathroom stalls to change, too embarrassed of his own body to let anyone see what he really looked like under his baggy clothes. Slowly, though, that had started to shift. It started slow, but eventually he was changing just as casually as everyone else- and his uniform no longer felt like a shirt of shame. Eventually, Hypno started not to mind so much; he was finally starting to get better; he had gained a healthy amount of weight and wasn't overly anxious about every movement he took or every eye that could see him. He started to genuinely bond with his team, and with competition season approaching, that was more important than ever.

Things were always nice, with the team. They were a group of funny teenage boys that Hypno just simply found himself getting along with. They weren't his dormmates, but they were still people he looked for to hanging out with. Hypno had really started to grow comfortable with the idea that he'd found a space to be himself. That was until his benchwarmer teammate Tyler had to say something. It came up naturally in conversation, and hadn't seemed to be in a particularly mean way, but the words still stung. “I bet you could have made that goal Riley took from you if you were a bit lighter on your feet,” Tyler had pushed on Hypno's shoulder fondly, “maybe you should lose some of those pounds you've put on, huh?” Hypno just froze, “Hm” he made a confused sound looking at Tyler. “Ya know,” Tyler gestured loosely, “you look a bit bigger than you did at the start of the semester. And I mean, you're not fat, but I think it might do you good to lean down a bit- get a bit faster.” “O-oh yeah, maybe” Hypno forced out even though he wanted to run away and hide. He felt hot and sticky, not from sweat, but more the sheer amount of fat on his body. It felt wrong and heavy and suddenly even breathing was a task. Had he really gained that much weight? And since when had he tipped from recovery into overindulgence?

Wels entered the locker section from the next one over, fully dressed in his day clothes. “Ready to head to class?” he asked Hypno. The two normally walked together to the culture building, where Wels had English and Hypno had Music Theory. Hypno just nodded, quickly grabbing his things and leaving with Wels. As soon as they were outside the locker room, Hypno turned to Wels. “Hey can I borrow your hoodie?” He asked quietly. His own witch was at least 2 sizes too big on him suddenly feeling too small. “Uh. Sure?” Wels gave him a weird look but fished it out of his backpack. “Thanks” Hypno mumbled, putting it over his own. Wels was both taller and had more muscles, so his hoodie was huge on Hypno but that's exactly what he needed to hide how gross he’d become. Wels noticed Hypno acting off, but when he questioned it Hypno had dismissed it as being tired from practice, so Wels let it slide, and they both went to their respective classes.

As the weeks went on Wels noticed something was wrong with Hypno. He had always eaten smaller portions at dinner, but somehow it seemed like they got impossibly smaller. Hypno skipped dinners more often and when he did show he would eat quickly before running off. Hypno was always cold and tired, and it showed in his personality as he became more irritable. But the most worrying thing was that he seemed to be getting thinner every day. The small meals, the extra runs before practice, the mood shift- it came to the point where Wels could no longer deny that Hypno was hurting. He wasn't sure what had triggered such a thing, but Hypno seemed to be relapsing hard.

Wels was all too aware that he was supposed to tell an adult these sorts of things, but he also wanted to respect Hypno’s autonomy. Forcing him to recover wouldn't help. If Hypno was ever going to survive beyond highschool, he needed to find a healthy way forward for himself. But that wasn't to say Wels wouldn't do his damned best to help where he could.

Wels knocked on Hypno's door gently. “Hypno. You awake?” he asked. It was Saturday morning, so by all means Hypno could be asleep, but Wels didn't want to risk missing him before Hypno went on his morning run. “Yeah one sec” came the muffled reply from the other side of the door followed by shuffling and a thump. Wels waited patiently for the door to open. When it did, he smiled warmly. “Morning sunshine.” “What do you want Wels it's 5am.” “Well, actually, its 5:30, and you normally leave at 6,” Wels pointed out. “Okay, but what do you want? I got to go on my run before practice,” Hypno said, going back into his room, supposedly to pack his things. “About that!” Wels held up two shakers. “I thought I might join you, if that's alright. I made us smoothies to get us going. No sugar added.” “What all is in it?” Hypno asked, grabbing a notebook from his nightstand. “Yogurt for protein, as well as just a little whey, banana for carbs, and kale. I did end up adding strawberries to keep it from tasting like crap, though.” Hypno nodded, writing it down before slowly accepting the drink. Wels couldn't see the page, but noticed the odd behavior. “Whatcha writing?” he asked, walking over to get a look. “It's nothing,” Hypno said, putting his notebook back where it belongs and getting up and getting ready to leave. Wels cast a second glance at the notebook, but ultimately decided Hypno’s privacy was to be respected.

The two left around 5, giving just enough time for the smoothies to settle at least most of the way before the run. Wels was always a podcast sort of person when it came to working out, but today he wanted to try something a little different. “Hey, Hypno, you want to share music today?” he asked. “Oh sure,” Hypno replied after stretching. Wels smiled and handed one earbud to Hypno. “Don't go too fast and leave me behind,” Wels said, “I'm not as quick as you, and I don't normally run outside of practice.” Hypno smiled “No promises now you better warm up so that you don't cramp up.” Wels chuckled a little and did a few dynamic stretches while Hypno selected the music before letting Hypno know he was ready to go. Hypno started at a light jog but slowly sped up more and more as the run went on checking his fitness tracker every so often staying in front of Wels. Wels called out every now and then if Hypno got too far ahead. Hypno wouldn't stop completely, but he'd slow down until they were closer again. It made Hypno anxious at first, but it wasn't until as the time grew closer to practice that it kicked into overdrive. Hypno had been goal setting by speed, but also by miles. He always aimed for a personal best, but for the past week had been holding himself to the standard of 3.5 miles. And at the rate he was going with Wels, he wasn't going to set a personal best, but he also wasn't going to even hit 3 miles. So he was left with a choice: abandon Wels and finish out the rest of his run in one burst, or stay with Wels and pass on burning calories for the day. Hypno chose the first option, turning up the music slightly and running, and gods damn he was fast. Wels tried to keep up, but failed to do so, getting left behind.

Hypno lost track of how long he was running. His normal bursts were 10 minutes, followed by 10 minutes of jogging or walking, but in order to make his goal he needed to run for 13. At some point Hypno had gotten out of range of Wels’ device, meaning all he could hear was his own breathing, his feet hitting the ground and the beep of his tracker when he hit 3 miles. Hypno pushed his body to keep moving even as his muscles screamed and his lungs tightened and his head pounded. His legs felt weak and his knees sore. He misplaced his foot once or twice but always managed to recover. Finally, his tracker beeped again, signalling 3.5 miles complete. Hypno slowed somewhat gradually, but within a few seconds he was at a walking pace. Then his legs gave out from under him, too spent to hold his weight now that the momentum was gone. Hypno decided to stay on the ground, dizzy, out of breath and unable to feel parts of his body. He spent a few minutes in purgatory, too nauseous to get up but not sick enough for anything to come up- until it did and that morning’s smoothie came up in heaves. Hypno was just lucky not to get it on his clothes.

A non descript amount of time passed, Hypno remaining on the ground with a pile of vomit on the grass next to him, before Wels finally caught up. Immediately it was obvious something was wrong- Hypno was down. Wels jogged over, pushing through his own exhaustion. “Christ, Hypno, are you okay?” “Yeah, I-I just pushed myself a bit more than usual” He forced out while sitting up. “I- Hypno, did you throw up?” Wels asked, noticing the mess as he kneeled. “It's nothing, I'm fine.” “That's not fine!” Wels exclaimed, “Have you had any water?” “Ive had what's necessary” Hypno replied getting up. He stumbled, but regained his balance and started getting ready as if he was gonna run back to the dorms. Wels stopped him, getting in front of him, shoving his water bottle in Hypno’s hands. “Small sips,” he instructed, “I'll have Hels tell coach we won't make it to practice today.” “Im going to practice Wels” Hypno stated like it was a fact. “Not until you take half an hour of rest,” Wels insisted. “You just pushed your body way too hard. Like- dangerous levels! You need to recover before you do anything else.” “This is normal. I'm fine. Now I gotta go so I can be ready in time. I can tell coach you're not coming if you don't feel up to it but I'm going.”

“Hypno, I will literally hold you down if I have to. You're going to get yourself seriously hurt! Do you not understand that? If this is normal than- fuck Hypno, no wonder you're a mess!” “Im just trying to-... to..” “To what, exactly?” Wels demanded. “Because the way I see it? You're destroying yourself. You're not eating, you're working your body too hard, you've been frankly a bit of a prick recently, and you've been sleeping like crazy. I'm not dumb. I know you're restricting again, but normally you bounce back by now. I've been trying to give you space to figure it out, but now I'm thinking…” Wels trailed off. “Thinking what Wels? Yeah, I was getting better but ended up gaining too much weight and now I need to fix it.” “Fix it!?” Wels was in disbelief. “Hypno, there's nothing to fix except your relationship with your body. I don’t- you've lost so much weight. You realize that? You're not what you think you look like. And even if you were, who cares?” “Tyler apparently” Hypno mumbled, finally giving in and sitting down on a nearby bench. Wels followed suit. “Tyler?” Wels repeated. “What does he have to do with this? Fuck- Hypno, what did he say to you that's got you this bad?” “i-, he” Hypno took a deep breath “He said that I would be able to play better if I leaned down.”

“Fuck him,” Wels growled. “It's not like he's all that. He can fuck himself if he thinks that he has the right to tell you what to do with your body. You're suffering because of some idiot's dumb ideas of how body mass works.” “He's right though if he didn't point it out who knows where i would be right now” “If he didn't point it out, you'd be healthy, safe, and happy,” Wels murmured, feeling angry tears come to the surface. “Hypno. I'm being so damn serious. You don't need to be better. You don't need to be smaller. You're a skilled player, and your weight doesn't determine your ability. Besides you, Noah is probably the smallest on the team, yeah? Compare him to Isaac. Do you think their size determines who's better? Because no offense to Noah, but he actually has more room to grow than some other players. What I'm getting at is that your skills and abilities aren't limited by your body. If you're wanting to be faster, then sure, work on speed. If you want endurance, work on that. But your obsession with being small for the sake of it was if it will fix everything else is hurting way more than helping.” “I'm sorry” Hypno mumbled looking down, finally realizing that he destroyed all the progress he made. Wels sighed. “I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that you have a brain that hates your body. I'm sorry you were taught such horrible things. And I'm sorry that I didn't do something about this all sooner.” “fuck can we please go back to the dorms I feel like shit” Hypno said so quiet it might as well have been a whisper. Wels nodded. “Let's. We'll both have some water, a bit of rest, and see if we can catch the tail end of practice. K?” “mhm” he hummed before Wels slowly helped him up.

The two got back to the dorms a little after Hels had left. Hypno and Wels rested for fifteen minutes before they got changed into their practice clothes. Wels urged Hypno to eat at least a breakfast bar to help his body recover before they went to practice for the last 30 minutes or so. Wels kept a keen eye on Tyler throughout, making sure he didn't get too close to Hypno for too long. He also talked to Hels and their coach briefly about Hypnos' situation, with the go ahead from Hypno to do so. After practice, Tyler was approached by the coach, and while what exactly was said wasn't something Wels was privy to, it still resulted in Tyler apologizing to Hypno. Then there was a very long team wide talk about being careful about what you say to people. It took some time for Hypno to build his comfort around the team again, but in the end everything would be okay. Wels would make sure of if.

Chapter Text

Jevin was playing Minecraft with Hypno in the main room. They were just enjoying each other's presence when the front door slammed open quickly followed by Etho and Bdubs shouting no not shouting at each other. Screaming at each other. They didn't seem angry, just their normal rough and tough, but it was loud all the same. Jevin did his best to ignore it and focus on the game until something fell with a loud bang. The rational part of his brian knew it was just something that got knocked over but the traumatized part of his brain was flung to the past, to the moment when he witnessed his parents doing the unspeakable to the neighbors over something as miniscule as a few tree branches.

Jevin hadn't realized he was panicking until Hypno was pausing the game and attempting to guide him through some breathing exercises. It was difficult to listen, yet alone follow along, especially with Etho and Bdubs still going on at each other, seemingly unaware. Eventually, Etho and Bdubs passed through, leaving the room quiet again, but that only made the flashbacks worse. The silence after the shots followed by sirens and police flooding the house in his quiet suburban neighborhood. Then there was something soft shoved into his hands- a couch pillow.

“Breathe, Jevin you need to breathe” Hypno said in a firm yet gentle voice. Jevin nodded slowly, squeezing the pillow gently. Its velvet-like texture was less than soothing, but grounding all the same. Jevin was finally able to get air into his lungs, even if his head was still lightheaded and his body weak. “Do you want to go to my room?” Hypno asked while handing Jevin the spinny ring he keeps on his person at all times. “Uh- yeah okay,” Jevin nodded, still coming back to reality, “that sounds cool.” Hypno stood up and guided Jevin to his room. Instead of the overhead light, he turned on his lamp, making the room seem much calmer. Jevin visibly relaxed some and let out a tight breath. “Thanks, Hypno.” “Always” Hypno smiled while grabbing a hoodie and putting it on before grabbing his weighted blanket and giving it to Jevin. Jevin smiled and settled on the foot of the bed, blanket around his shoulders in a way that felt comforting.

“So what happened, if you don't mind me asking,” Hypno hummed, joining Jevin on the bed. “Huh?” “One minute you were here, the next you were bordering a panic attack. Are you okay?” “Oh,” Jevin pursed his lips. “Yeah it … they were just a bit overwhelming. Really damn loud,” he chuckled. “Did you catch what it was about, even?” “Not really, I think it was something to do with a jacket. I'm not 100% sure,” Hypno replied, playing with the rubix cube he found on his desk. “Typical,” Jevin rolled his eyes. “What was that bang? Something got knocked over, I think?” “Yeah they knocked over the coat rack, you know how broken that thing was anyway” Hypno mumbled nearly done solving the cube. “Oh,” Jevin said. “Well at least it wasn't something worth anything.” A coat rack. Jevin had been scared into a panic by a damn coatrack. He pulled the blanket tighter, feeling embarrassed of himself.

“Hey i can hear you thinking from here” Hypno said tossing a stuffed frog at Jevin. Jevin managed to catch it. “Just- ya ever react to something in a way that you hate?” He just got a look then gestured to his trunk with emergency supplies for when he gets dizzy or faints due to his less-than-stellar food intake. Jevin hummed. “I guess. But that's a little different. When your body shuts down that's one thing- you don't control everything that happens to your body, but when your brain shuts down it's another.” “Why else do you think my body shuts down? It stems from the brain my friend” Hypno reminded. “Plus you're not the only one here that has panic attacks. Have you met half of our friends?” Hypno exclaimed while playing with some playdough he found. “Fair point,” Jevin murmured. “Still hate it though. It was just a dumb coatrack falling over. How did my brain think that was anything like a gunshot?” “Jevin look me in the eyes. You went through a traumatic experience. This is normal. It's normal for traumatized brains to be hypervigilant and see danger when there isn't.” Hypno stated firmly. “It doesn't make it dumb, or stupid, or embarrassing. It just means you have some healing to do- but that's true of anyone here, so don't be too hard on yourself.” Jevin took in the words and smiled slightly. “Thanks. You're the best.” “I know,” Hypno smirked. Jevin threw the frog at him.

Chapter Text

Skizz didn't consider what he did self harm. Whether or not someone else might ... Skizz preferred to keep his mind focused on the current moment. And right now, that was completing his run for the day. Did his feet hurt? Yes. Did his chest ache? Yes. But that was normal. What wasn't normal was his hips screaming in pain. He was so close to hitting his normal ten minute mark, though, so he kept pushing, even as he had to blink tears away. When he finally hit ten minutes, he practically collapsed to the ground, splaying out starfish style to get his hips to stop burning. Eventually, the pain faded enough for Skizz to will himself into walking over to the fountain to refill his bottle. The pain was still there, but less now that he wasn't running. Skizz frowned and settled down with a mat to do some stretches.

The pain wasn't new, exactly. It had been building steadily for the past week and a half, but Skizz kept dismissing it as overexertion. The first two gym days some rest and ice meant the pain was gone by the next time he went to the gym, but by the third trip he was starting to feel it just minutes into his session. It persisted longer and longer, stronger and stronger until he was in pain 24/7. Walking hurt, running more so. He'd already failed on multiple sets, but that alone was more frustrating than concerning. What was concerning was that as Skizz tried to stretch out his hips, the pain was even worse. Giving up for the day, he sprayed down the mat and put it back on the rack before heading to the stairs. Each step was agony for his hips, though if he went slowly enough he could manage the pain enough to make each step. Unfortunately, he rushed towards the last few steps. His legs stuttered and he missed the step. Skizz grabbed the railing, wrenching his arm and slamming his back onto the edge of the steps under him. His bag and bottle clattered down the steps, making loud banging noises.

Two people nearby rushed over to check on him. Other than some bumps and strains, Skizz was alright, though they stayed with him a moment until he was able to stand again. Once he was on his feet, they wished him well and moved on with their workout. Skizz hissed on the first few steps, but eventually he became accustomed to the pain in his hip once more and headed home. It was a long, painful walk, nearly halfway across the campus. Eventually, Skizz had to start taking short rests when the pain grew too much to bear. It took nearly fifteen minutes longer to get home than normal, given the pauses and slow pace, but Skizz made it back to the dorms in relatively one piece.

When he walked in he saw Tango on Impulse’s shoulders and Zed directing them as they attempted to reach the cabinet above the fridge. “Skizz hi!” Zed exclaimed, his arms flying out and hitting Impulse and Tango, throwing them off balance. They stumbled for a second, almost recovered, but ultimately the two fell. “Hi Skizz,” Impulse smiled after popping up again. Tango was a little dazed, but after a few moments turned to Skizz as well. “Are you two okay?” Skizz asked, making his way over to them. “Oh, fine, fine,” Tango scoffed, standing up and dusting himself off. “See? Good as new.” Skizz chuckled a little. “What were you idiots trying to do anyway?” “Someome hid the good chips again, and we wanted some” Impulse replied while rolling out his shoulder. “And why was Tango on your shoulders instead of one of you, I don't know, using the step ladder that TFC got recently?” “Oh. I think we forgot that it existed” Tango laughed. Skizz shook his head fondly. “You guys are dumb,” he said. “Yeah, but you love us,” Tango smirked. “Maybeeee you even love us enough to get the chips for us?” Zed implored. Skizz couldn't resist.

Skizz located the step stool and dragged it over to the fridge. Being naturally taller, he could reach the cabinet much easier than the others, but still had to lean up and over to reach above the fridge. As he leaned, the pain in Skizz's hip heightened again with the effort. Skizz hissed, flinching instinctively with how intensely it felt like his nerves were on fire. “Skizz what's wrong” Impulse asked, concerned, immediately guiding his friend to sit down. “I'm fine,” Skizz assured, though he didn't resist the offer to sit, “I probably just- overworked something. It'll pass. It’s already a bit better just sitting down!” Tango rolled his eyes. “Skizz, you know you're a terrible liar.” “I'm serious,” Skizz defended, “these kinds of small injuries happen from time to time. I'll be fine.” Zed fake coughed “Bullshit.” “No more gym for you,” Tango decided, “not until whatever you did is healed. Until then, you're on rest duty. Have you had one of your protein shakes yet? Those are good for recovery, right?” “Not yet-” Tango was immediately heading across the kitchen, gathering everything to make one.

“You guys are overreacting,” Skizz insisted, minutes later as he was moved to the couch with his shake, and a warm pack “Would you prefer we get TFC?” Impulse asked, raising an eyebrow. “No,” Skizz sighed. “Then shush and let us care for you,” Tango hummed. “Fine,” Skizz sighed. “But now I'm bored.” “Got ya covered already,” Zed grinned, handing Skizz a Xbox controller. Skizz lit up. “Castle Crashers?” he requested. “What else?” Zed settled next to him. “I wanna play!” Tango exclaimed, snagging a third controller and sitting on the other side of Skizz. Impulse joined as well. They played for about two hours before Wels and Hels came downstairs for dinner duty.

“Hey guys” Hels waved. “Hey buddy,” Skizz waved back. “Whatcha up to?” “Wels is gonna teach me how to make brownies for after dinner” Hels replied with a smile. “Oo! Can I help? Skizz asked, already starting to get up before the others could stop him. The pain forced him to sit back down with a grunt. “Idiot!” Tango fussed, “You're gonna make it worse if you stand and walk around baking. The only places you're going tonight are here, the kitchen table, and your bed!” Hels looked concerned after hearing this. “What happened?” he asked while sitting down on one of the beanbags. “It’s just a little overexertion probably,” Skizz shrugged, “I’ll get over it soon.” “If it’s overexertion, you shouldn’t have kept working out on it,” Tango huffed. “I would ask Wels about it, he's had every gym injury under the sun” Hels said with a hum. “What exactly is the injury?” Wels walked over to the couch. Skizz hummed. “Some pain in my hip. Mostly when I move my legs.” “So it's muscular, not skeletal?” “Maybe, it feels a bit different to normal tears or bruises.”
“Could it be tendon related?” “Possibly.” “If so, that could be pretty serious, Skizz.” “Maybe you should talk to TFC” impulse chimed in looking concerned. “I'd recommend it if it doesn't get better in a few days,” Wels nodded. “Its already been a while,” Skizz admitted. “How long, then?” “Er… a week an a half?” “Skizz” Wels’ eyes went wide, “what do you mean you've been in pain for a week and a half and haven't seen a doctor?” “It wasn't that bad!” “Skizz i love you but what the hell were you thinking!” Zed exclaimed. “I thought I'd get better!” Skizz defended, “Ya know, sometimes your body just hurts a little before it gets stronger.” “I'll go get TFC,” Wels decided, heading in the direction of the office.

When TFC showed up he looked concerned, clearly having been filled in on the situation already. “Skizz why didn't you come to me sooner” TFC asked kindly while grabbing his car keys and texting Pause that he and Skizz are going to the doctor. “Because I thought it'd get better,” Skizz huffed, tired of defending himself, "I've had small injuries before that just sorta went away.” “Well I suppose there's no use arguing, we're going to the doctor anyway” TFC replied putting on his shoes, heading over to the couch to help Impulse assist Skizz to the car. Collectively it was decided that Impulse would go with, just in case. The others wished for the best as they drove off.

TFC, Impulse and Skizz didn't return with a diagnosis of tendonitis until a few hours later. Dinner had been saved in tupperware in the fridge by Wels, and Tango and Zed had made an effort to clean a path in Skizz's room. Skizz was now on crutches and given a doctor's note to be on bedrest for the next day. As Skizz was put to bed for the night by Tango, Impulse and Zed, the two who had stayed home shared the thoughts they'd had while the others had been gone. “You know that it's okay to take a break sometimes, okay?” Tango murmured, pulling up the blankets so Skizz didn't have to. “You're allowed to need rest.” Impulse nodded in agreement. Skizz hummed, glancing down at his hands. “Ya know that no one would think differently of you,” Zed added on. “You do know that right?” Impulse asked. Skizz hesitated, and that told them all they needed to know. “We'd take care of you, no matter what,” Tango murmured, voice softer. “You're allowed to take breaks” Zed chimed in again. Skizz sighed. “It’s less about you guys and more about what I think of myself,” he admitted. “I've always been a strong guy and I guess I sorta pride myself on that. I don't like feeling… weak.” Suddenly Impulse engulfed Skizz in a hug, careful of his injury. “You’re not weak, Skizz, you’re human” he mumbled. “It'll do you good to remember that sometimes.” “Yeah!” Tango nodded. “We can't be 100% all of the time.” “And hey. If you ever need that reminder, you come find one of us,” Zed offered. Skizz smiled and hugged his friends close.

With time and rest, Skizz got better, not only physically but mentally as well. He learned to give himself breaks, to let his body and mind recover, even when it felt difficult to do so. And his friends never let him forget how important he was to them.

Chapter Text

He couldn’t stop crying. He just couldn’t. He’d tried everything from sleep to showers to food, but no matter what he did the feeling that was twisting his organs into painful knots wouldn’t go away. The tears were constant. And then when the tears stopped, the apathy set in. And when the apathy had run its course, the anger ripped through him like a tidal wave. Once the anger had settled, he was back in tears again. He was sweaty and gross from the constant wear on his mind and body. Dried blood caked on his arms and legs in thin lines, but it wasn’t enough to make it stop. He skipped dinner. He dragged himself to the shower again, attempting to get ready for a night’s rest, but he couldn’t resist the blades taunting him from under the sink. He watched the blood spiral down the drain. He cut again, deeper, as if he could make the water red instead of pink. The pain was overwhelming. Everything hurt. His wrists hurt, his shoulders hurt, his thighs hurt. His head ached, his stomach clenched with hunger, his eyes were irritated. Everything positively hurt. It was with all his will that he dragged himself out of the bathroom and to his bed. He all but collapsed in a pitiful heap of pain and self loathing. It would pass, he reminded himself. It always passed.

Except it didn’t.

He skipped school the next day, unable to even turn his alarms off. He laid there in the dark until his room was cast in a soft golden light. The lively sun had no effect on his mood. In fact, it only soured it. How could the world be so beautiful when it was so terribly cruel? How could the sun shine and the flowers bloom while he withered under the weight of it all? It was an irony that made him feel more isolated, more forgotten. There was no relief to be found in the new day. Nor the next. Or the following.

Three days of skipped classes and meals, four days of endless, crushing suffering. No amount of small cuts provided anything but the temporary bliss of feeling in control. He tried to fight. He really did. But there was only so much one human mind could withstand before they broke.

Luckily, he had a plan for this. He had had the plan for months now. He knew exactly what to do. And once he set his mind to committing to the plan, well, it was easy to follow the steps. He walked to his desk and pulled out a series of letters, each personalized. He wouldn’t be able to deliver them all without being caught, but that was something he had accepted long ago. He held the letters close to his chest and carried them down the hall to Xisuma’s room. He hated putting this on Xisuma, but it was the best he could do. So he made his way into the room and placed the stack of letters on Xisuma’s desk, the one on top reading Xisuma’s name. Some of the letters were a little out of date, but something was better than nothing, he supposed. With the first step taken care of, he returned to his own room and locked the door.

He was shaking by the time he knelt by the sink and grabbed his blades. He took his time picking through them to find the sharpest one. The first cut was always the hardest. The ones subsequent ones were always just momentum from the first that built and built until it stopped altogether. But he had no plan to stop this time. Once he started, that was it. It would be over. This suffering would be behind him. He was terrified, but he was even more desperate.

So he pressed the blade to his skin and dragged it slowly, watching the blood seep around the metal edge. And then he repeated the process again and again. It would take no more than ten minutes, if he did this right. He was horrified by the power in his hands- the power to take his own life- yet he wielded the power anyways. It was painful. God was it painful. But it would be worth it, in the end, he told himself over and over as he cut away, trying to convince himself he had made the right decision, that he had prepared for this inevitability. Yet, as his head began to spin and his hands trembled from weakness, true and utter fear gripped his chest.

Mumbo let the blade clatter to the tile floor as he bled out.

Chapter Text

X was tired coming home from class that day. Though, he always was tired coming home from class. He considered himself lucky his last class of the day had been canceled at the last minute. He was frankly looking forward to a nap when he opened the door to the dorms. He was firstly greeted by a few of the others playing mario kart. They invited him to play a round, but he politely turned down the offer, intending to play with them after he’d gotten some time to unwind. The trip up the stairs to his room felt like it was taking forever, but eventually he made it to his room. He sighed in relief, setting his backpack down by his desk. He turned to lay down, but the stack of letters on his desk came off as much more important than a nap, at that moment. Xisuma took a look at them. They each had a name on them, ones Xisuma recognized as names of the dorm members. Sure enough, there was one for him too, sitting on top of the center stack. Curious as he was tired, he opened the letter. He immediately recognized the handwriting as Mumbo’s. It seemed to be a heartfelt letter, opening with genuine compliments. That was when the alarms in Xisuma’s brain started to sound, but it wasn’t until he reached about halfway through the letter that he dropped it and ran out of his room.

He made his way to Mumbo’s room and knocked heavily, practically banging on the door. “Mumbo!” he called. “Mumbo, are you there!” He got no response. “No,” he gasped. This couldn’t be happening. He took a step back and kicked at the lock, hoping to break it. Finding TFC to get the master key would only waste time, as far as he was concerned. He kicked again, but with no luck. “X, what's going on?” Ex asked, peaking out of his room, concern rising seeing the state of his brother. “It's Mumbo!” Xisuma replied, breathless already as he kicked again. “Door’s locked.” “Move over.” Ex said firmly before ramming into the door and forcing it open. Xisuma and Exsona entered the room quickly. Mumbo was nowhere in sight, but the bathroom door was ajar. “Mumbo!” X yelled, lunging forward to pull the door open. The sight before him made him want to vomit. Ex, who followed behind him, quickly took action. “Go get TFC” he ordered while crouching by Mumbo. X hesitated, but nodded and ran out of the room, already pulling out his phone to call an ambulance.

Mumbo was hardly considered awake at this point. He was slow to process the door to the bathroom opening, and by the time that had registered, there were hands on him that he didn’t have the energy or strength to fight. He blinked a few times, his head spinning and his eyes blurry. “Ex?” he croaked out, pain heavy in his voice. “Yeah, it's me buddy.” Ex said with a relieved sigh. “Can you keep talking to me until X gets back?” Ex prompted. Mumbo blinked heavily. “Not s’posed to be here,” he mumbled. “What do you mean, Bud?” Ex asked confusion and desperation mixing together as he held a towel to Mumbo's arms. “You an’ X,” Mumbo clarified, “Not s’posed be here. The- the notes… X doesn’t get home at this time.” “He was tired so he came back early…Why aren't we supposed to be here, bud?” “Notes,” Mumbo repeated, talking in circles. “Notes for you. X supposed to give the notes to everyone.” “What were the notes about Bo?” Exsona urged. Mumbo just blinked heavily a few times, not responding verbally. “Mumbo I need you to keep talking to me” Exsona pressed with a desperate voice. “Notes,” Mumbo forced out. “Read… notes..” his eyes began to fully close. “Nonononono” Exsona panicked “Mumbo open your eyes!” Ex begged. “Come on, please!” Mumbo, for his credit, did try to keep his eyes open, but it was far too late for proper intervention, and his body sagged against Exsona as he went properly unconscious.

Ex was normally the calm one in difficult situations, but in this moment, he panicked “XISUMA HURRY UP” he screamed tears blurring his vision as he tried to wake up his little brother figure “Come on Mumbo wake up” He mumbled over and over while feeling for a pulse and thankfully finding one. Xisuma and TFC were there moments later, TFC with an extra medical kit in his hands. TFC knelt by Mumbo and attempted to take him from Exsona. Ex however had a protective hold on the latter and seemed to not be fully present at the moment. “Ex, I need you to give me Mumbo,” TFC said firmly, “I need to get a good look at his wounds so I can apply a tourniquet.” Ex didn’t reply or move, clearly in shock from the whole situation. Xisuma walked over and did his best to pry Exsona’s hands away, even as he himself was shaking. “C-come on Ex, we need to let him help.” Ex just let his brother lead him away barely reacting to anything. With Mumbo now in TFC’s hands, he applied tourniquets on both arms, trying to limit the blood supply. Once they were applied, TFC had X help hold the towels in place, as Ex was in no headspace to do so. Xisuma’s hands shook, but he managed to keep the pressure there until sirens could be heard outside.

It was a blur for everyone after that, TFC putting Xisuma in charge before getting in the ambulance with Mumbo as they rushed to the hospital. X was still trying to get Exsona reconnected with reality when Grian and Scar approached. “X, what the hell just happened!” Grian practically screamed. “The blood,” Scar murmured, “the- oh god I’m going to be sick-” “I- I don’t know,” Xisuma stuttered out. “He just- he said he wouldn’t-” “Wouldn’t what?” Grian interrupted. “Did you know this was going to happen?” “No!” Xisuma shook his head. “I had no damn clue he would- I-” “X, tell us what just happened,” Grian demanded, suddenly quiet and firm. Xisuma barely processed that it was likely a switch, but he shook his head. “I don’t know! I just don’t know, okay!” Ex, who had been curled up and shaking throughout the exchange, mumbled so quietly they almost didn't hear him “please stop” curling impossibly tighter before going back to his dazed look and unmoving expression. Xisuma recognized it as the trauma response that Exsona had only done once before when the twins got their scars on their faces. Luckily, Grian and Scar seemed to recognize the delicate state he was in as well, all of them falling quiet. After a moment, Grian said something to Scar, and the two left with a nod in Xisuma’s direction.

Xisuma sighed, relieved, but unable to relax yet. He finally returned his sole attention to his brother. “Ex? Are you here with me?” he asked gently. He was met with an almost invisible nod. Xisuma, for what it was worth, forced a small shaky smile. “Good. Good. Just- try to stay here with me, okay? How about we go to your room and get out of these clothes?” he suggested, trying to think through everything in logical succession. Another tiny nod. X knows this is just how Ex responds to extreme trauma; a complete verbal and physical shut down, but it was still difficult to handle. Still, Xisuma took a deep breath and tightened his grip on himself, holding together for his brother’s sake. “Up we go, then,” he said, helping Exsona to his feet and leading him to his room. Ex allowed himself to be guided to his room and sat down on the edge of his bed. His mind was still far away, not responding to much, hardly able to process anything that was happening around him other than that Mumbo was gone.

Xisuma took on the duty of changing Exsona first, removing the bloody hoodie and shirt he was wearing. It was a bit difficult to get new clothes onto Ex, who was barely cooperating. He wasn’t fighting, but rather was limp, still in shock. Xisuma remembered what it was like before, and reminded himself to be patient. This would pass. Exsona would come back to him with time. So he struggled with getting Exsona into a new change of pants and wiped down his hands with a damp cloth before changing out of his own crusty clothes. The pile of bloody clothes already stank of oxidized iron. Xisuam scooped them up into his arms. “Ex? I’m going to go wash our clothes and get some water for you. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” he explained softly and slowly, hoping to get through Exsona’s stupor. He was met with a small nod from Ex. Much more than he was expecting. Xisuma took it as a sign that Exsona had heard him and left towards the laundry room at the end of the hall. It wasn’t long before he was ambushed by curious and concerned questions.

“Shashwam? What is going on?” Keralis asked, the first most of the group. Xisuma shook his head. “He’s going to be okay,” he said, but he hardly believed it. There had been so much blood. “For now, everyone should just try to rest. He’ll be back before we know it!” he smiled. The smile didn’t reflect in the eyes of his friends, though they started to disperse, realizing there was nothing for them to actually do about the situation. Keralis stayed by Xisuma’s side until they made it to the laundry room. “You should have told TFC,” Keralis said softly. Xisuma paused, leaned over the washer. “You think I don’t know that?” Xisuma whispered. “If I had known he would.. I wouldn’t have hesitated. But he- he said he wouldn’t. He said he’d tried to stop and I- I was a fool for believing him at face value.” “If there is no trust, there is no love,” Keralis sighed. “You aren’t a fool for believing him, but you should have realized that he was on a slippery slope.” “How was I supposed to know?” Xisuma huffed. “Just because someone hurts themself doesn’t mean they’ll commit, and just because someone is going to commit doesn’t mean they’ll start with self harm. The last few days he’s been off, but I just thought it was… I don’t know,” Xisuma started to tear up. “I messed up, K. I messed up big time. I’m supposed to support everyone, make sure everyone’s needs are heard, but I can’t… It’s too much.” Keralis walked closer and put a hand on Xisuma’s back. “You did your best, X. No one blames you for this. I promise.” “Right.” Xisuma closed the lid to the washer. “I… I told Ex I’d be back soon. I’ll be downstairs shortly to start on dinner.” “It’s not your turn,” Keralis said, but Xisuma ignored the statement and moved past him to get back to Exsona.

Exsona was in the same place Xisuma had left him; sitting, staring at the floor blankly, almost entirely unresponsive. He didn’t so much as glance as Xisuma entered the room. With the door closed, the temptation to break down pressed in from all sides, but Xisuma still had a job to do. He walked over to his desk where the letters lay. He considered for a moment before deciding it was best to deliver them anyway. Regardless of whether Mumbo pulled through or not, the notes had been specifically personalized for each of them. It would be selfish to keep it to himself just because he didn’t want to have to worry about the others’ reactions. Xisuma shoved the letters in his pocket and turned to Ex again.

“Hey,” he whispered, holding Exsona’s hands softly. “I’m going to make dinner for everyone, but I don’t want to leave you alone. Do you think you could come downstairs with me? You don’t have to eat, talk, or do anything. Just come with me, that’s all I ask from you. Can you do that for me?” Xisuma encouraged. Exsona nodded again, unable to muster any other response. Xisuma smiled softly and gently pulled Exsona up from the bed. Ex allowed himself to be guided downstairs to his favorite chair in the living room and appreciated the fact that everyone quieted down when the two of them entered the room. It seemed that most of the students had retreated to their rooms, but a few had stayed downstairs, huddled together for support.

“Is he ok?” Etho asked, looking at Ex with furrowed brows. “He will be,” Xisuma hummed, making his way to the joint kitchen. “Finding him like that was… Ex will be okay, just give it time.” Etho just nodded and shared a look with Martyn. He was one of the only people Ex got close with that's not X, but Martyn just shrugged. He was close with the twins, but he had never seen Exsona shut down like this, and he had never seen Xisuma seem so unbothered by a major event.

Xisuma had been cooking for about half an hour when Ex started to touch down to reality, making small sounds and gestures occasionally to Xisuma or Martyn. It didn’t seem like much progress, but Xisuma once again reminded himself to be patient. The last time this happened Ex had been in his unresponsive state for almost two days, so half an hour was considered a speedy recovery in comparison. Xisuma eventually finished dinner- just buttered pasta with seasoned chicken, something he figured everyone would be able to stomach easily. “Etho, do you think you could take over plating the food while I go get everyone?” Xisuma requested. “Yeah sure” Etho responded, getting up and going to the kitchen. Xisuma then went about knocking on doors and calling names, announcing dinner. It took some coaxing for multiple of them, but eventually Xisuma had gotten everyone downstairs. He took over plating from Etho until everyone had a meal in front of them. Then Xisuma took a breath and pulled out the letters. He cleared his throat for attention.

“So… Mumbo, he,” Xisuma hesitated. “He hurt himself quite extensively,” he continued. Many of the others had visual reactions, but Xisuma tuned it out. “Before he did what he did, he left these on my desk,” Xisuma held up the letters. “You do not have to read them, but I do not feel it is fair for me to keep them. So I am going to hand them out to you all. You may do with it as you wish,” he said before starting at one side of the table. He noticed a few things while he handed them out. Firstly, Hypno and Doc weren't eating which, while it made sense, was worrying. Secondly, Martyn seemed to be eyeing both him and Ex with worry which was unnecessary. They were fine. Lastly, Grian and Scar seemed angry. Very unnatural from the two of them. Still, Xisuma stuck to the task at hand. Once the last of the letters was handed out, he sat down and forced food into his mouth.

Dinner passed in relative silence. There were a few occasional mumbles, but no real conversation. No one opened their letters until they were done eating. Impulse had started doing dishes when Xisuma insisted he take over and the Impulse take time to rest. Martyn frowned. “X? Are you okay?” he asked. The question shocked Xisuma from his momentum. “Fine,” he said even as tears made their way to his eyes. Luckily, his back was turned. He didn’t want anyone to worry- that would only make it worse. He was in charge, meaning he had a job to do to make sure everyone else was as okay as they could be. That meant monitoring those who were sensitive, supporting those who needed it, and making sure everyone had the time and space they needed to recover. His own needs were not necessarily secondary so much as not even a consideration. Without him, they would all fall apart- and he was not going to let that happen. “X you and I both know that's not true.” Martyn got up from his seat. “You look like you're on the verge of a breakdown.” Martyn said gently. “You haven’t stopped for a moment since the ambulance arrived.” “I said I’m fine,” Xisuma barked harshly. The sudden sound made Exsona flinch. X cringed. “I’m sorry Ex. It’s okay, Ex,” he whispered to his brother. Martyn watched with concern. “X… just- please talk to us, okay?” Xisuma tentatively nodded.

Hesitantly, Martyn left. It was just Xisuma and Exsona left in the kitchen now. Xisuma focused all his mental and physical energy on the dishes, trying to do them quietly for Ex’s sake. When he was done, he dried his hands and coaxed Exsona back upstairs to his room. Xisuma helped him lay down, tucked him in, made sure he had water and everything he could possibly need overnight. Really, Xisuma wanted to stay with Exsona, but he was on the verge of breaking, and didn’t want to keep his brother up when he obviously needed the rest. “I’ll be here when you wake up tomorrow, okay?” Xisuma promised. “X go to sleep,” Ex mumbled before curling up further under the covers. “I will,” Xisuma smiled softly.

And by all means he had intended to, yet he still found himself in the bathroom at 1am flushing out fresh wounds. He had tried to resist the urge, but he was so overwhelmed. He was sad, he was scared, he was angry. He was a mix of horrible feelings that kept him from doing anything but crying or screaming into his pillow or drawing lines across his skin. When the wounds finally dried, Xisuma forced himself to bed. He opened his phone and checked for messages from TFC, but nothing had come through in the past few hours. It wasn’t until nearly 3am that the front door finally opened. Xisuma could tell by the way the door closed that it was likely TFC, but he had to know for sure, so he crept downstairs to see for himself. TFC was in the kitchen grabbing some things and packing them into a backpack. “Ah, Xisuma, what are you doing awake? You look awfully tired. Are you feeling alright?” TFC asked gently. “Can’t sleep,” Xisuma replied with a shrug. “What’s the bag for?” he redirected. “Just grabbing a few things for overnight,” TFC answered. Xisuma frowned. “You’re leaving again?” “Mumbo hasn’t woken up yet. When he does, he’s going to want to see a familiar face. I just needed a few things.” “Can I come with you?” Xisuma requested. “I’ll be so quick- just a minute.” “I wish I could, unfortunately, you have class tomorrow,” TFC gave him a sympathetic look. “But-” “Get some rest, Xisuma. You need it,” TFC said as he headed out the door.

Chapter Text

“Martyn, what if something happened!” Ex exclaimed while pacing by the door. “Fuck Martyn what if hes hurt!” Ex cried pacing faster. “Xisuma can take care of himself, dude,” Martyn tried to assure his friend. “It’s only been a few hours- he could just be hanging out with some classmates and his phone is on silent.” “I can’t see his location!” “Maybe his phone died, then?” Martyn tried. “No, something is wrong Martyn!” Ex exclaimed, digging his nails into his arms while he paced. “Hey, hey-” Martyn got up to move Exsona’s hands away from his arms, “just- look. If he doesn’t respond within the next half hour, we call in a missing person, okay? He’s probably fine, though.” Ex nodded but didn't stop his pacing. “How about we find something to do?” Martyn suggested. “What about a movie or a round of Phasmo?” “I can't, I gotta wait for X” Ex insisted anxiously. “Right,” Martyn hummed. “Some music, at least? Help us calm down a little?” “Fine.” Ex said as Martyn guided him to the couch. Martyn played some calming music and busied himself with his phone, keeping an eye and ear open on Exsona.

Half an hour passed with no news. Martyn was fairly logical, but for Xisuma to not communicate even once was out of character for how long he’d been MIA, so he couldn't help feeling anxious. TFC had received a call about halfway through the day saying that Xisuma had been marked absent in one of his classes, which was followed by two more. TFC had asked Ex and Martyn if they’d heard from him, but they hadn’t. Between the three of them, they had no idea where Xisuma was other than that he wasn’t at school and the location tracker Exsona and Xisuma shared was either faulty or Xisuma’s location was turned off. Martyn took a deep breath. “Sun will start setting in about an hour. Let’s call it in. Can you do it, since you know his information better than I do?” Ex nodded and grabbed his phone texting TFC first then calling it in. After the call Ex went back to pacing. Back and forth over and over again, nails digging into his arms and drawing blood. Martyn was quick to act, pulling his hands away again.

“Okay dude, this isn’t helping anyone. Pack a bag- we’re going to go look for him,” he decided. Ex rushed to his room to pack a bag. He grabbed an extra change of clothes for X, snacks, water, his phone flashlights and his first aid kit. You never know what you might need. Martyn met him by the door with a similarly packed bag. TFC set them a curfew of 10pm. With that, the two headed out into the evening to search for Xisuma on foot.

Chapter Text

It was hot. Terribly hot. Walking across campus in a hoodie was one thing, but walking for over an hour in the heat in his hoodie, with his backpack in tow, was starting to wear on his body heavily. But he was almost to the hospital, and then it would be all worth it, when he was able to see his friend. Because it wasn't fair that Mumbo was still in the hospital and that Xisuma hadn't been permitted by TFC to see him. Taking matters into his own hand was the only way he would know for sure whether or not Mumbo was okay. It pained him to let his phone ring on silent, skipping over calls from Exsona and Martyn, but if he picked up they might find out where he was, and then they would stop him. So he was walking alone in the heat.

It was another fifteen minutes before the highrise of the hospital became visible. Once it did, Xisuma nearly collapsed in relief, but he was so close now it would be for nothing if he stopped. So he pressed on until he entered the hospital lobby. After a few deep breaths, he walked up to the front desk. "Hi," he greeted, still slightly breathless, "I'm here to visit a friend." "Alright what's your friend's name?" The front desk lady asked. Her nametag read Sam. "Mumbo Jumbo," Xisuma answered. "He came in here last night for blood loss, I think." "Ah yes I think I heard of him, he's in room 104 down the hall and to the right" Sam said with a sympathetic smile. Xisuma nodded and hoisted up his backpack again before heading to the room. It took longer to find the room than he cared to admit, but he managed.

Entering the room, he could hardly breathe. It was exacerbated by the trek he'd made to get to the hospital, but mostly, it was the state Mumbo was in. He was asleep, but his heart beat steadily according to the monitor. What made Xisuma's heart weep was the bandages wrapped all the way down Mumbo's arms. He was sure there were some on his legs too, but they were under the bedsheets. Xisuma dumped his bag by the end of the bed and pulled the chair over so he could sit and hold Mumbo's hand. Xisuma was tearing up before he could process that he needed to. "I'm so sorry, Mambo," Xisuma whispered, guilt ripping through his chest.

Kerlais had a point. Xisuma should have known that this was an inevitability. He should have told TFC the moment he found out Mumbo was hurting himself. He was only eighteen, he wasn't built to handle all this. He had his own battles, and Ex and Martyn to worry about. Mumbo should have been higher on his priority, but really, Xisuma should have just told TFC. He should have told TFC about everything, instead of hiding it like a coward. If Mumbo hated him, if Exsona hated him, if Martyn hated him- it was necessary to keep them safe. Xisuma had just been too scared to admit that, and to admit that maybe he, too, needed an intervention. He was scared of what TFC would say or do, but it wasn't worth this. It wasn't worth seeing his friends and family nearly die from self-inflicted wounds.

His thoughts were interrupted when the hand in his grip tightened around his own. It was marginal, but sure. Xisuma looked up at Mumbo's face. "Mumbo?" he whispered, shocked out of tears for a moment. Mumbo blinked blearily, showing vague signs of awareness. Xisuma's heart lifted a little. "Mumbo? Are you awake?" Mumbo groaned a little, opening his eyes a little more proper. "Xisuma?" He strained his eyes to see better. Xisuma nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, it's me. I'm here." "Xisuma..." Mumbo murmured. Flashes of memory came to him, and with it, floods of emotions, one right after the other. "Xisuma I'm... I'm so sorry," he said, voice breaking. Xisuma shook his head. "No. No don't- Mumbo, I'm sorry. I should have protected you. I should have seen that you were struggling, I should have done something- anything. I'm so so sorry." The tears were back. "It's not your fault," Mumbo said, "I did this to myself." "No," Xisuma shook his head, "the world did this to you, Mumbo. It's not your fault, either." "If I were stronger-" Mumbo started but Xisuma cut him off. "Don't start. I- you're here now. And that's what matters." Mumbo was quiet for a moment, gaze drifting. "What is it?" Xiusma asked, knowing the expression of someone lost in thought. Mumbo pulled his hand away.

"Xisuma... I... I don't think I want to be here," he admitted just before sobs racked through him. Xisuma's heart broke. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. How could someone so lovely and kind and beautiful be so hurt and destroyed and abandoned by the world around him that he would want to end his own life. It wasn't fair. But Xiusma couldn't say much. It wasn't like he himself was happy to live. If he was honest, it was pressure that kept him alive. Pressure to help others, to keep going, to be there when things fall apart. That was his role. That was who he was supposed to be. He wasn't allowed to take the easy way out. But he was selfish. As much as he could relate to Mumbo, could understand the pain that was so overwhelming that all you could see was the endless void of suffering, he didn't want Mumbo to die. "I want you to be here," Xisuma whispered. "Ex wants you to be here. So many people want you to be here, Mumbo."

"You think I don't know that?" Mumbo held himself still. "You think I don't realize how much pain I was going to cause? Sure, you'd all get over me eventually, but I know it would hurt. But I just couldn't do it anymore. It's so overwhelming and I don't know what to do but give up." Xisuma felt sick. He leaned over and hugged Mumbo, careful of his bandages and connections to various machines. "Please don't give up," Xisuma begged. "Please, Mumbo. Please. There's- there's so much we haven't tried, so much you haven't done. There is so much ahead of you that you would never experience if you quit now. I want to see you graduate. I want to see you settle down. Get your first job. A driver's license. Your first drink on your twenty-first. So much more. Please. I know I don't deserve to ask this, but please don't leave me." Xisuma pleaded, tears falling onto Mumbo's paper gown.

"I can't make that promise," Mumbo said. "I know," Xisuma held him tighter, "but you can promise to try, can't you?" Mumbo hesitated, but nodded. "Yeah. I'll try. You deserve that." "Thank you," Xisuma said, "thank you, thank you, tha-" he was cut off by his phone buzzing. Xisuma muttered an apology and fished his phone out of his pocket. Exsona was calling him again. Xisuma silenced the call and placed his phone aside. Mumbo blinked a few times. "Why is Exsona calling you? Shouldn't you pick it up?" "It's not important," Xisuma dismissed. Mumbo shook his head. "No. That's- Xisuma, that's your brother. You love him more than anything in the world. Why- why are you avoiding him?" Xisuma sighed. "I... haven't told anyone where I am." "You what?" Mumbo's eyes widened. "I had to see you," Xisuma defended. "Xisuma, pick up that phone," Mumbo insisted. Xisuma hesitated, but caved. He'd missed the call, but he called Exsona back and waited for him to pick up.

"XISUMA RONI VOID. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU" Ex yelled into the phone. Xisuma looked at Mumbo with a scared look. Exsona didn't yell often, especially at Xisuma of all people. "Martyn and I have been looking for you for hours," Ex said quieter, voice cracking slightly. Martyn could be heard in the background complaining about his ears. "I- I'm sorry," Xisuma murmured, unsure what else he could possibly say. "Sorry, where the hell are you, Xisuma" Exsona demanded, raising his voice again before Martyn took the phone. "You can have it back when you calm down, yelling won't help anything," Martyn said distantly before speaking into the phone. "Xisuma, where are you right now?" "I'm at the hospital off campus," Xisuma answered. "Okay," Martyn sighed. "You're staying there, and you're staying on call with us until we get there, got it?" "But-" "No, Xisuma. You don't understand how much we- how Ex- just- you're going to stay on call," he said again, firmly. Xisuma nodded, not that they could see. "Okay," he whispered.

At some point, Martyn called someone on his phone, handing Exsona's phone back to him. "You scared the shit out of me Xisuma," Exsona mumbled into the phone. "I'm sorry," Xisuma said again, at a loss for words. He was frankly exhausted. It took a significant effort not to nod off- not because he didn't care, but because he was spent from a late night followed by early morning, multiple classes and a day full of stress and worry, an hour and a half walk in the heat, and crying his eyes out. Xisuma tried to be there for others, but sometimes, in moments like this, he just couldn't push himself hard enough without shattering his mind. "X are you still there?" Exsona mumbled. Xiusma hummed affirmatively, but said nothing. "You sound tired. Really tired. You should sleep, we'll be there soon" Ex said matter-of-factly. Xisuma couldn't hear the normal warmth in Exsona's tone. Xisuma nodded, though. "I love you," he tried. A fond sigh was heard on the other side of the phone "Love you too X." With that, X closed his eyes and curled up in the chair, head resting on the edge of Mumbo's bed. Mumbo placed a hand on Xisuma's shoulder.

Xisuma didn't expect to fall asleep, but he found himself waking to a gentle tap on his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, TFC was leaning over him. "Come on, Xisuma. Let's get you home," he said. Xisuma made a confused sound, still gaining awareness and looked over to Mumbo- who was asleep once more himself. Xisuma frowned. "The other two are waiting," TFC urged." Xisuma hesitated before standing. TFC picked up Xisuma's backpack and led him out to the lobby, where Exsona and Martyn were waiting. Neither of them looked like they were doing well, fidgeting anxiously and looking at least half as tired as Xisuma felt. As soon as they spotted TFC and Xisuma, they were on their feet and rushing over. Exsona marched up to X and checked him over making sure he wasn't hurt "You're an idiot," Ex murmured giving X a rib crushing hug. Xisuma returned it with as much energy as he could muster. "I'm sorry," he said yet again. "I don't know what I was thinking." "I don't think you were thinking," Martyn huffed, rubbing Xisuma on the back. "Come on, the sooner we get home, the sooner we can all rest. You look like you need it." TFC started the way out, and Martyn ensured the brothers followed.

As soon as they were all settled in the car Martyn sat between the Twins in the back surprisingly at the twins request. Ex on the left, Xisuma on the right. TFC cleared his throat. "We need to talk," he said in the same voice he used when delivering serious information. The boys in the back all nodded. "Xisuma. What you did was very impulsive, and very dangerous. Do you understand just how much danger you put yourself in today?" "Im eighteen," Xisuma argued, "and it was during the day time." "That doesn't excuse the fact that you went no contact, turned off your location with someone who regularly uses it to know that you're safe, and walked nearly six miles on your own in the heat. It was dangerous, whether you think so or not. If something had happened, we wouldn't have been able to help you." Xisuma pursed his lips, blinked tears away, and nodded. TFC sighed.

"What you did was not a good decision. But I understand why you chose to do what you did. I know you care a lot about Mumbo. I don't pretend to know everything that goes on in the dorm, but I've noticed that he is particularly close to you and Exsona. So I understand you wanted to see him, but your safety comes first. You should have asked me to drive you, or at least had someone take the bus with you. Mumbo is in the best place he can be right now- he's safe and monitored. We have to be patient and let him recover so he can come home when the time is right." "I just needed to see him," Xisuma whispered, voice breaking. "I didn't mean to make such a mess." Martyn took his hand silently. "I know you didn't mean to harm anyone, but we have to remember that our actions always have consequences," TFC reminded gently. Xiusma nodded once more.

"Now. I want to talk to all three of you, now," TFC addressed. Martyn sat up a little straighter. "While Xisuma certainly acted out of line, you all struggled today, to varying degrees, to be able to cope with the circumstances happening around you. While they were extenuating today, I've also noticed that you three, as well as others in the dorm, struggle with unhealthy habits and negative coping mechanisms. Again, I don't know everything that happens in the dorm, but I'm not blind or deaf. It is not possible for me to expect change from you three overnight, but I hope you understand that as your dorm parent, who is a licensed counselor, I am obligated to do my best to assist you all in finding healthy coping mechanisms that allow you to navigate day-to-day stressors. Does that make sense?" he was met with a few nods Martyn still sitting up perfectly straight with a neutral expression. The twins were looking anywhere but TFC. TFC nodded back. "We will talk more about this in the morning," he decided, turning the car from auxiliary to on. Once everyone had seatbelts on, he began to pull out of the parking spot.

Upon arriving home, the three boys made their way directly upstairs, ignoring any questions thrown their way from other students. Xisuma expected for the other two to be angry with him, so when they followed him into his room, he braced himself for the worst. "Guys-" "Sleepover in Xisuma's room?" Martyn proposed, looking at Exsona. "Obiously," Exsona said like he was shocked it was even a question. "You don't have to-" "We do," Martyn insisted. "X. You have no goddamn clue how terrified we were. You isolated yourself and tried to take the weight of everything onto your own shoulders. If you keep doing that, one day, you're going to get yourself seriously hurt." Ex chimed in a moment later "..or worse." Martyn nodded. "Please let us be here for you, Xisuma. This isn't about us being mad. It isn't even about us being scared. It's about you, and making sure that you know that we love you, and that you can always, always, talk to us. Okay?" Xisuma nodded. "Thank you."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit afterwards before Ex spoke "Should we tell TFC about...ya know. Because I know damn well none of us stuck to that promise we made." Xisuma nodded. "We don't have a choice. It's- if we keep doing this the way we are, we'll all end up like.... yeah. We should tell him." Martyn hesitated. "I don't know anymore...I don't think I'm gonna do anything drastic most of the time...but..." he trailed off. "Yeah. Most of the time," Xisuma quoted. "Just like how most of the time, I think things through. We'll always make mistakes. We'll always mess up. Telling TFC- it's just a safeguard for all that." "Lets wait until Mumbo is home and settled at least," Ex said subconsciously scratching his arm. "Deal," Xisuma agreed. Martyn nodded in agreement as well, taking Ex's hand away from his arm gently.

The boys fell asleep cuddled in sleeping bags on the floor, knowing that they at least weren't alone in all of this.

Chapter Text

Xisuma was tentative about TFC's spontaneous dorm meeting, to say the least. It was a little before dinner time the next day when TFC sent out a message calling for all the students to come to the main room. They rarely had meetings like this, and normally they were given at least a few days advance notice. Xisuma couldn't pretend this wasn't in some way related to everything that had happened in the last few days, including his own actions. He hesitated in his room, fiddling with his outfit even though there was nothing he wanted to change about it. He was just stalling for time, as if this could all blow over.

When he finally got downstairs he found everyone in varying degrees of nervousness. Giving a quick look around it seemed that Scar and Grian were the most anxious of them all. X sat down between Ex and Martyn right in time for TFC to come into the room from the direction of his office, a second man following behind. Xisuma watched as some of the others shifted in place, uncomfortable with the stranger. TFC had a similar expression to how he had when talking to them in the car last night. TFC cleared his throat."I'm glad you could all make it on short notice. I apologize for the surprise, but things happened a little faster than I anticipated. Firstly, I know that it has been a very scary last few days. But I want to assure you that you will all be okay, and so will Mumbo. I am your dorm parent, and I will do my best to live up to the title. But, admittedly, one person can only handle so much at a time, and I know when my limits are being stretched. I emailed administration for a second dorm parent. Everyone, this is Pause. He will be your second dorm parent. I will let him introduce himself.""Hey everybody," Pause smiled, waving a little. He was met with a few hesitant smiles and waves. Not an overly warm welcome, but typical for a group like this. "As TFC said, my name is Pause. I will be not only your second dorm parent, but your primary contact for mental crises and emergencies. I have a masters in counseling and specialize in trauma with adolescents. I have two therapy dogs under my supervision that will be joining us a few days from now. I'm very excited for you to meet them. I know some of you already have pets, so we will introduce them gradually at first to assure that reactivity is controlled. Any questions for me?" The group shared a few looks. Some of them were still sceptical of the new person, others seeming to be warming up a bit as Pause spoke, but overall everyone was hesitant. Considering their lives before Stonehaven it was only natural. Pause looked around and offered a gentle smile, understanding the lack of a response. "If any questions do come up, do not hesitate to come find me or text me if that is more comfortable for you! I will be working closely with TFC to ensure all of your safety and wellbeing. I understand trust takes time, and I respect that all of you are individuals whose wishes should be respected, so I will do my best not to be overbearing, although I do hope we come to grow closer as we get to know each other better." When Pause was done with his mini speech, TFC spoke again. "Pause will be joining us for dinner tonight. Anyone who wishes to eat upstairs may do so for today, but I encourage you all to take this opportunity to get to know your new dorm parent better."Xisuma wasn't sure what to make of Pause. He seemed nice, and TFC had a decent judge of character, but a new person meant more responsibilities- and Xisuma knew that Pause's presence would cause tension they hadn't experienced since the first week of the semester, since the first time they all met each other before TFC could bring them together. The tension hadn't left for weeks, and considering the current state everyone was in, Xisuma figured it would take a significant amount of time for the tension to lift. Xisuma was grateful for Pause's help, but things were already a mess and Xisuma could barely keep it under wraps. Hypno seemed to be deteriorating, eating less and less, all it took for Ex to shut down was a slightly raised voice, Scar and Grian were barely functioning without the third member of their trio and overall everyone was struggling to cope. Pause excused himself to the kitchen, and TFC pulled Xisuma and Exsona aside. "Xiusma, Exsona could you help me prepare Mumbo's room for when he comes home?" he requested. "Prepare his room?" Xisuma repeated. TFC nodded. "After talking to Pause, we decided that it's best to proof his room of sharp objects, for the time being. We hope that Mumbo will eventually be given full access again, but until he recovers it's better to take precautions than to deal with the consequences." Xisuma felt sick, and the cuts on his body burned with shame. Still, he nodded. "I can help." Ex nodded as well, subconsciously digging his nails into the sleeve of his hoodie. "Thank you both," TFC smiled. "I figured since he is close to you two, it may be helpful to understand what may be seen as a potential trigger to him." The twins just nodded, taking the tub TFC seemed to have pulled out of nowhere and heading to Mumbo's room. This was gonna be hell. Xisuma thoroughly hated going through Mumbo's things. It was an invasion of privacy that left Xisuma feeling icky and guilty. It didn't help that Exsona still wasn't fully cognizant, mostly sitting on Mumbo's bed and holding a bin with about three items in it. TFC was taking over the bathroom and the sharp items there while Xisuma kept an eye out for sharp objects in the bedroom. So far he'd grabbed pencil sharpeners and scissors and anything else deemed dangerous. It wasn't easy. Having a bin of items in his hand only triggered Xisuma, really, made him want to duck into his own room, lock the door and let his skin sting. But that wasn't an option, even if TFC wasn't present, Exsona needed him, as did the others. Xisuma couldn't afford weakness right now. Meanwhile, Exsona was imagining what would happen if he ran away to a place no one would find him and he sliced his skin until it was more cuts and blood than intact flesh. He felt weak, watching his brother move about the room in his periphery. Xisuma hadn't shut down the second he went into the bathroom to check it, only able to remember his friend bleeding out and falling unconscious in his arms. How it had felt to be covered in his friend's blood all the while trying desperately to keep him alive. The aftermath where he had to be pried away, having kept his little brother figure from getting the help he needed for longer. Xisuma was doing his job not shaking or so solely filled with the effort not to bleed he was forced into stillness.Eventually, TFC came out of the bathroom with the bin full of blades and shaving razors and things alike. He collected the bins from Exsona and Xisuma, thanking them quietly. "I can handle the rest of this. You two go enjoy dinner," he encouraged. Xisuma nodded and turned to Exsona, coaxing him off the bed and to his feet. Exsona seemed to snap out of his trance, nodding and instead of going to the dining room, going to his own and locking the door. He didn't say a word to anyone in the process. But at least he seemed more present than he had been. Xisuma hesitated outside the locked door, unsure if it was wise to leave Exsona alone right now, but he'd locked the door- and he had a right to privacy that Xisuma didn't feel right invading. Xisuma headed on his way downstairs to see where he was needed next.Pause had made a simple, but pleasant dinner. A good number of the students had either taken the food to their room or had already finished, but more than Xisuma had expected remained at the dining table. Hypno was there with a worried Wels attempting to coax the ladder to eat at least 2 bites but being met with resistance. Cleo and Doc were chatting, as well as a few others, and Joel was sitting by himself with his headphones on. Surprisingly ,things seemed relatively under control. Xisuma looked over them before heading to the cabinets to get down two bowls. Pause turned to him."I can get you a serving if you'd prefer to sit," he offered. Xisuma shook his head. "I'm getting food for my brother and I. Thank you," he said, already serving the food into the bowls. "Is Ex gonna be alright?" Hels asked. "He's been off ever since Mumbo...," he trailed off. "He'll be fine," Xiumsa assured. "We'll all be okay. We just need time." The words were just as much for himself as anyone else. Xisuma grabbed two forks and then headed back upstairs to see if he could convince Exsona to eat. At Exsona's door Xisuma knocked a couple times only hearing a small "Shit" and some shuffling. Xisuma frowned, but tried to keep himself from assuming the worst. "Ex? I uh.. got some food for you." "One second" came a small response, Exsona's voice cracking slightly. Xisuama waited patiently until the door opened. He immediately noticed a difference in Exsona's demeanor, expression and dress. "That's not the hoodie you were in," Xisuma commented with a frown. "And?" Exsona mumbled, not making eye contact with his twin brother. Xisuma pursed his lips. "May I come in?" Panic flashed on Exsona's face "I-um no it's a mess in here right now." "You know I don't care about that," Xisuma huffed. "Look. Just tell me what happened and we'll work through it, alright?" he tried, now letting his mind go to the darker spaces he had been trying to avoid. "Cant we just go to your room?" Ex tried, not wanting to trigger his brother with the scene behind the door. Xisuma thought it over. "Whatever you want," he answered. As long as Exsona was with him and not alone, that was what mattered. "To your room we go," Exsona said, heading to the room right next door. Xisuma handed a bowl to Exsona before sitting on the bed. "You should have told me you were feeling triggered," Xisuma said bluntly. "Xisuma, can we please not talk about it," Exsona said looking X in the eyes for the first time since he left his room. Xisuma sighed. "I'll help you clean it later," he said before quickly changing the topic. "What do you think of the new dogs that might join us?' "I don't need help cleaning, but yeah I'm really excited for them, I think it'll be good for everyone" Ex said before taking another bite of the spaghetti. Xisuma nodded. "Me too. I just hope they get along with the pets we have. Between Daisy, Blaze, Jellie, and Luna we got plenty to worry about. But I'm sure Pause has done this before, by the sounds of it." He was met with a nod. "Xisuma...are you ok your hands are shaking" Exsona noticed looking at his brother concerned. Xisuma strengthened his grip. "I'm fine." "Xisuma. You and I both know that's bullshit," Exsona said bluntly. "You ran away for all's sake. You don't just do that because you're fine." "Okay, so I'm worried about Mumbo," Xisuma snapped just slightly, but he didn't raise his voice. "I'm worried about Mumbo, and I'm worried about you, and Martyn and just- everyone. Everyone is going through a hard time and it's my job to make sure everyone is okay and their needs are heard, but I have to prioritize. It's not easy but- it's my job. I'll be okay just- not right now." "You don't have to do all this on your own X we have a family now it's not just you and me anymore," Exsona reminded. Xiusma just shook his head. "Everyone is struggling. They need someone to turn to who gets it. TFC is nice, and Pause seems to be nice too, but they don't get it." "Xisuma Roni Void, you need to take care of yourself. I'm sure everyone would agree." "I'll be okay," Xisuma said again. "Just gotta wait until Mumbo is back." "As soon as he's back you're taking time for yourself or so help me Gods" "Fine," Xisuma agreed with a sigh.

Chapter Text

TFC had left to go get Mumbo from the hospital. For the first time, it wasn't Xisuma in charge, but Pause. Exsona and Xisuma were thrilled to have Mumbo back, of course, but Exsona had been mostly non-verbal for about 2 days and X hadn't slept properly in that time either, leaving both of them less than good. Still, they were the first in line by the door, waiting for it to open. They waited for about an hour before it opened. Xisuma was immediately on his feet, quickly followed by Ex. Mumbo was immediately swamped with hugs from the twins and various greetings from others in the room. Mumbo looked not to be doing too well himself, bags under his eyes and messy hair, but he still smiled, just slightly. "Missed you guys," he murmured so only the twins heard. Xisuma nodded. "Missed you too. Don't you dare go doing that again." "Like I said... I'll try," Mumbo whispered. Xisuma hummed and pulled away from the hug. Mumbo greeted others in the room, sharing hugs and fond words before eventually heading towards the stairs, Scar and Grian glued to him, but they were stopped by Pause. "Mumbo, right? We haven't met officially. My name is Pause. I need to talk to you privately before I can let you go on your way." "Oh- uh- okay?" Mumbo gently pried Grian from him and followed Pause towards the office.

While Mumbo was gone, most of the others cleared out until it was just the twins and Scar and Grian. It was a long and anxious wait, but eventually Mumbo was released from the office. He looked pale and shaky. Xisuma was immediately on it. "What's wrong?" Exsona gestured in agreement. Mumbo swallowed. "You proofed my room?" he said more than asked. Xisuma hesitated. "TFC said you would prefer it if we did it because we are closest to you-" Mumbo nodded slowly. "Alright... and Pause is a new therapist for all of us?" Exsona nodded regretting saying no when TFC had offered to teach him sign language. Mumbo hummed. "I think... I think I just want to lay down for a bit." he was met with a nod and a sound of agreement from the twins. "Stay with you?" Grian requested quietly. Mumbo smiled softly. "Sure. I've had more than enough alone time recently." Scar and Grian followed Mumbo upstairs. Xisuma considered joining them, but still had an odd feeling about being in Mumbo's room considering everything plus Exsona hadn't finished doing the dishes and needed someone to keep everyone else away. Mumbo's room didn't look much different, at first glance, but he was too tired to inspect it much. He expected to come home full of energy after being bedridden for a few days, but after his talk with Pause he was feeling tired all over again as he tried to wrap his head around the idea of twice-weekly therapy with someone he barely knew. So he made his way to the bed and laid down. Grian immediately crawled into bed with him, and Scar set his crutches aside before laying on the other side of Mumbo. It was a tight fit to get the three of them to fit in the bed, but Mumbo didn't mind having the physical touch of his friends. "So what did Pause want?" Scar asked. Mumbo hesitated, but answered truthfully. "He told me that my room has been proofed for sharp objects and other dangerous things. He also said that he's going to be my therapist and we'll meet two times a week for an hour, at least until I show improvement, whatever that means." "I'm sure things will get better before you know it," Scar smiled softly. Mumbo hummed. "Maybe." "How long have you been... hurting yourself?" Scar asked. Mumbo stiffened. The question was inevitable, but he still felt so painfully guilty admitting the answer. "I've been cutting since before the start of the semester," Mumbo whispered. Grian hugged him tighter. "It's been just over a year, actually." "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Scar frowned. "Because I was scared of this," Mumbo admitted. "I know it's not good for me, but what I was doing- it was how I coped with everything. And now I won't be able to at all. And that's terrifying!" he started to tear up. "How does everyone expect me to just- stop? I don't want to be alive anymore, and they took away the only thing that ever helped. I'm scared. I'm so scared." "Hey, hey, you're gonna be okay," Scar hugged Mumbo close. Mumbo turned and cried into his shoulder. "You've got us, you've got X and Ex, we're all behind you, Mumbo. You'll learn new ways to cope and things will get better, I promise." Mumbo only nodded, still trying to get his tears under control.Grian gently tugged on Mumbo's jacket. "What is it?" Mumbo asked, wiping his tears away. "Hoodie come off?" Grian requested. Mumbo pursed his lips. "You ... it's bad under there, G. I don't want to scare you." "If you're not comfortable with it then that's completely fine don't force yourself" Scar piped in. "But Mumbo's hot," Grian frowned, pointing to the beads of sweat on his forehead. Between the hoodie, cuddling and crying, Mumbo was in fact feeling warm. "That is true at the very least. Mumbo, why don't you change into a lighter one?" Scar suggested. Mumbo still seemed tentative, but nodded. Grian and Scar shifted to let him get up. Mumbo crossed the room to his closet and grabbed a much thinner jacket. He took off the pull over hoodie, revealing his tanktop and wraps going up his arms. A few cuts that were mostly healed on his shoulders lay exposed. Grian frowned. "It hurt?" he asked. Mumbo hummed. "A little. But I'll get through it." Scar, who wasn't paying much attention while he took off his knee brace, hummed a bit at the response. Mumbo slipped on the jacket, leaving it open as he got back into bed with the other two. He jumped as Grian gently grabbed one of Mumbo's arms and ran a hand up and down gently, almost feather light. "Mumbo...?" "Y-yeah?" "No hurt self no more. Please?" "I'll try," Mumbo sighed. Scar, who had gotten settled again, gave Mumbo a hug of silent support. The trio sat in a comfortable silence for a while before eventually drifting to sleep. The next day when Mumbo woke up, Scar and Grian were still with him. Together, they went downstairs for breakfast. Many of the others were in the main room or at the table and happily greeted Mumbo back home. Surprisingly, the greetings felt casual, normal, even, and Mumbo found himself strangely comforted by that fact. Xisuma was at the stove top, making waffles. It was clear from how he moved that he wasn't feeling great, but Mumbo didn't get much time to question it, Grian excitedly rambling about waffles the moment they walked in. Exsona shuffled in a few minutes later looking disheveled and exhausted but grabbed plates and cups and started pouring everyone some juice and plated the finished waffles for his brother, though Mumbo noticed he got everyone's 'assigned' plates out but his own. A plate was put before him, and Mumbo thanked him. About 2 hours later when Scar and Grian had finally decided to give him space and Mumbo had time to think he noticed some concerning things about his older brother figures. Firstly, Xisuma looked about ready to collapse, hands trembling with everything he did and moving slowly. Secondly, Exsona was in the hooding he normally only wore on his bad days. It was baggy and came past his hands, making it easier to hide in. It was also dark enough to hide any blood stains he might obtain, he also wasn't eating. Neither of them had said anything in the time Mumbo had been downstairs. All of Mumbo's instincts yelled at him that something was wrong between the two of them. Mumbo waited until the kitchen had mostly cleared out before approaching Exsona."H-hey," he gave a small wave. He remembered how Exsona had held him as he lost consciousness. Guilt twisted his heart, but he kept his smile intact. "Good morning." Exsona jumped slightly before looking up and waving. He then grabbed his phone and typed 'non-verbal' into his notes app and showed it to Mumbo. Mumbo nodded. "That's alright. We can just text, if you want?" he offered. He was met with a thumbs up from Exsona. Mumbo got out his own phone and sat next to Ex.'Are you alright?' Ex froze looking at the text clearly not sure how to answer. Eventually he started typing "Yeah don't worry im fine :D" Mumbo frowned. 'No offense, but I don't quite believe that. You don't really look like you're doing too good.' Exsona sighed 'ill be fine dont worry about me' he typed back. The response was not ideal but it was progress in the right direction, Mumbo supposed. 'How is X?' 'Hes not great. He wont sleep, wont rest and is barely keeping himself together' Exsona replied happy to take the attention off himself. Mumbo frowned, glancing at the boy cleaning up the kitchen now that he'd finished cooking. Mumbo watched him almost put the cleaned waffle maker in the pantry instead of the cabinet it belonged in. 'Why not?' 'He thinks he has to be there for everyone 24/7 and I might have contributed to that,' Exsona typed back, starting to open up even if it was only slightly. 'I'll talk to him.' Mumbo decided 'You should eat something, even if it's small.' He patted Exsona on the back gently then walked over towards Xisuma. "Hey, X," he greeted. Similar to Ex, Xisuma jumped, surprised. "Hi," Xisuma forced a smile. Mumbo returned it. "Thanks for the waffles this morning. They were wonderful." "Of course," Xisuma nodded, continuing to wipe down the counters. "So... how are you?" Mumbo asked. Xisuma visibly tensed. "Fine," he answered. "Ex said you haven't been sleeping well. What's up with that?" "I'm just worried about everyone," Xisuma admitted, "especially Ex. He's been in and out of dissociation ever since..." he trailed. Mumbo frowned. "Well, I'm back now. Hopefully that will help?" "Maybe".

Chapter Text

Xisuma was exhausted. That was the only thing on his mind as he dragged himself to his room, well past lights out. He had spent the second day with Mumbo back ensuring everyone was alright, and that Mumbo wasn't being overwhelmed. It became obvious pretty quickly that Xisuma wasn't really necessary anymore. When Mumbo had been gone, everyone had looked to him for answer and guidance and assistance. More than he could count he’d helped someone with a panic attack or flashback or even prevention of self harm, even if most of his energy had been spent on ensuring Exsona stayed in one piece. But with Mumbo’s return, things started to smooth out into a new normal, one that was admittedly, not all that different from before.

So then why did Xisuma feel so helpless?

Xisuma had ensured everyone made it to bed. He'd made sure everyone had at least had something to drink if they didn't have dinner. He made sure they were all settled. Everyone was as good as they were going to be. So why did Xisuma feel like such a mess? The thoughts that he usually pushed aside swamped him, telling him horrible, terrible, hurtful things. He was too tired to fight them. Everything felt helpless and hopeless and pointless. It was inescapable dread that things would never be the same, and that if he relaxed for even a second, then something would go drastically wrong. But he was so tired. He couldn't keep going like this.

Xisuma was scared, but more than that, he ached. Physically, mentally, emotionally, everything hurt. He had to get it out somehow- had to dispose of the hurt and anger in sadness in a way that wouldn't harm anyone else. So he made his way to his bathroom and dug out one of his blades, not really paying attention to what level of sharpness it was. It started as small slices, but they soon expanded into larger, longer, deeper cuts. Xisuma cut over and over, not really aware of anything around him except for the transfer of pain from his soul to his flesh. Then suddenly he snapped to the reality of the situation and how bad it was. Tiredness had left him careless, and there was far more blood than he had intended to let out. Xisuma cursed and went under the sink again for some towels.

Logically, he knew it wasn't as bad as what Mumbo had done, but as his head started to spin, the fear of it all set in. What if he had nicked something? What if he bled out? What if Exsona was the one to discover his cold and lifeless body? Xisuma blinked through the tears and forced himself to his feet. He abandoned the towel, but held pressure to his wounds through his hoodie sleeves, and left his room with a destination in mind.

TFC and Pause were wrapping up for the night when there was a knock on the office door. Pause was the one to open the door. “Oh! Xisuama, yes? What brings you- is your arm okay?” Xisuma saw TFC and pushed past Pause to get to him, leaning into the man with all his weight. “I'm sorry!” he cried. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!” “Woah, Xisuma what happened?” TFC exclaimed while holding the teen upright. Xisuma hesitated only a moment, but his wild emotions won over his apprehension. “I need help,” he said before hiking up his sleeve, revealing the bloody wounds there. “Pause, get the first aid kit.” TFC said firmly, guiding Xisuma to sit down and elevating his arms.

Pause moved quickly, bringing the kit over and immediately applying tourniquets to Xisuma’s arms to lessen the bleeding before trying to clean the wounds and applying pressure. “Xisuma, do you have any weakness or dizziness?” Pause asked. “Only a little.” “How long ago did the bleeding start?” “Ten minutes?” Xisuma guessed. “If it doesn't stop in the next five, we'll have to take you to the hospital,” Pause murmured. Xisuma whimpered but nodded. “Xisuma what happened?” TFC asked gently after they finished cleaning and wrapping Xisuma’s arms. The tears came double fold.

“It's all too much!” he cried. “I try- I try so hard to be there for everyone, to make sure everyone is okay, but I failed! I failed Mumbo, and I failed Exsona and Martyn and- and everyone!” “How did you fail them X?” Pause asked gently, kneeling by the other two. “Mumbo he- he tried to kill himself!” Xisuma sobbed. “It's my fault! It's all my fault! I knew what he was doing to himself but I didn't say anything because I was so scared that he'd hate me if I did. But then he almost died and- and it's all my fault! What- what if Exonsa goes next? Or Martyn? I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. I'm so so tired and I'm scared they're all gonna- I can't lose them!” “What's this about Exsona and Martyn being in danger?” Pause frowned. “They-,” Xisuma swallowed, “they hurt themselves. We had a pact, all of us, not to hurt ourselves anymore but I know we all gave up. I- I can't lose them. Please just- help them!” “We will, we will,” Pause assured, “but first I need you to calm down.” “Agreed we will help them don’t worry X. Do you know if Exsona and Martyn are at least a week clean?” TFC asked with a serious voice. Xisuma shook his head. “Exsona isn't. I don't know about Martyn.” “Okay,” Pause sighed. “How about this; You stay here with TFC and I will go get Exsona Martyn and Mumbo,” he offered. “Would that help you calm down, to know that they're safe?” Xisuma nodded. “Alright. I'll be back,” Pause said, gently patting Xisuma on the shoulder before leaving.

Pause returned a while later with three sleepy teenagers trailing behind him, all of them immediately sobering and realizing this is serious at the sight of Xisuma and TFC. Xisuma glanced over at them but then looked away and refused to meet their eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking. “I just couldn't do it anymore.” “Dude, what are you on about?” Martyn mumbled, trying to shake the sleep from his voice. “Xisuma has given us some information,” Pause explained. “He claimed that all of you have a history of self harm. I will leave you all here with TFC while I go check your rooms. If you are clean, you have nothing to worry about. Anything else we will discuss later.” “Have a seat” TFC gestured to the couch Xisuma was on. “I know it might be uncomfortable but I need to ensure none of you have recent or infected wounds, just to be safe.” TFC said gently. Mumbo nodded slowly and headed to the couch. Martyn was stock-still. Exsona held onto the sleeves of his hoodie like a lifeline and shared a look with the other three. Martyn swallowed heavily and extended a hand to Exsona. “Bound to happen,” he muttered. “Thought we would have more time though,” Exsona mumbled back. Martyn sighed. “Yeah. Well. Can't predict everything?” he tried, taking Exsona’s wrist gently and guiding him to the couch. “I'm so sorry,” Xisuma whispered, still not looking at them.

TFC walked over after grabbing the first aid kit just in case. “Alright Mumbo can we start with you?” TFC asked softly. Mumbo nodded, already used to the procedure of having his arms inspected. The bandages were removed, exposing the nasty healing wounds from a few days ago, but nothing new. With Mumbo cleared, TFC helped him re-wrap his arms and then moved on to Martyn, who physically pulled away from TFC. “I don't see why you have to look,” he huffed. “Look- it was a few days ago. Now you know. Happy?” “Martyn, I still need to check. I know it's not ideal but it's for your own good” TFC urged. Martyn pursed his lips and looked away as he offered up his arms. TFC rolled up the sleeves revealing angry cuts no more than a day old not infected but definitely irritated. “I'm going to clean them, ok?” TFC informed Martyn. Martyn nodded, and TFC began the process of doing so. This left Exsona waiting in anticipation for some time. Xisuma still cowered on himself, even as Mumbo tried to give him a hug. Just as TFC was finishing with cleaning Martyn’s wounds, Pause returned, a grim look on his face. “We will have to talk more tomorrow, but I will be proofing each of your rooms before you are allowed to go in unsupervised,” Pause said firmly while TFC moved onto Exsona's arms which were in a rough shape.

It took some time to ensure all injuries were accounted for, cleaned, and bandaged correctly. Words were spoken only as needed, the silence in between tense. Xisuma never really stopped crying, but he kept it quiet. It wasn't until TFC went upstairs with Pause to help proof rooms that the boys were left alone to talk. “Fuck” Exsona said breaking the scilence. “You can say that again,” Martyn sighed. “Im so so sorry,” Xisuma whispered. “I just couldn't do it anymore. I tried. I did. I really did. I just- I'm not that strong. I've let you all down. I'm so sorry-” “Woah, hey, no one let anyone down,” Mumbo interjected. “I think you actually did us all a favor,” Exsona said quietly. Martyn nodded. “It needed to happen. None of us had the courage to do anything about it, though. You're not weak, Xisuma. You didn't let us down. You stood up for us when we needed it.” “If you didn't, who knows what might have happened,” Exsona assured. Xisuma cried harder. “I just got so scared.” “Hey deep breaths” Exsona mumbled trying to calm down Xisuma. “So what now” Martyn asked, breaking the silence. “We recover,” Mumbo shrugged. “Try to, anyways. You'll probably start therapy, like me. They'll start you on two times a week, see how you do.”

Before anyone could respond TFC and Pause came back with a bin filled with stuff. “Your rooms are cleared but im not sure about you guys being alone right now” TFC said. Pause nodded. “Leaving you all alone is likely to foster more negative emotions and behaviors. How do you all feel about a sleepover in the main room?” he suggested, trying to lighten his words and tone. The four of them shared a look before Exsona spoke up “Could we stay together in one of our rooms instead” he asked quietly. “Alright,” Pause agreed. “Mumbo’s room has been the most thoroughly proofed.” The four nodded and headed to Mumbo's room.

Each of the others swung by their own rooms first, but Mumbo still offered them pillows and blankets of his own. Martin ended up in bed with Mumbo, the twins settled in a nest on the floor. Xisuma couldn't help himself. “You .. you guys don't hate me, right? For confessing?” “Hate you? Never,” Martyn assured. “Yeah, sure, I'm scared for what comes next, but I'm not upset with you.” “You did exactly what you were supposed to, X,” Mumbo murmured. “You saw a need, and told TFC and Pause when that need wasn't being filled. And if I'm honest? It's really selfish but … knowing you are all going through this with me, too, makes me feel less scared.” “Agreed,” Martyn sighed. “I couldn't imagine going through this alone.” “What are the others gonna do…” Exsona thought out loud. “Cope?” Mumbo tried. “I mean… they have Pause now. They can handle themselves. Our job is to focus on healing.” Exsona nodded. “Fuck im exhausted" “Go to sleep,” Mumbo encouraged. “We're safe.”

Safe. They were all safe. And that had to mean something , didn't it? Making their peace with the journey ahead and the realization that as long as they stuck together they'd make it through to the end, the four boys slipped away into deep slumber.

Chapter Text

Hypno was pissed. He was doing better. He had started eating 2 meals a day. Normal sized meals. That was until one random day. It started fine. He got up, showered, and got everything ready. But as soon as he sat down to eat breakfast it all went downhill. He couldn't even bring himself to eat some toast. Fucking toast. He hardly even acknowledged it, eating half a piece before going back to his room until dinner. Lunch wasn't necessary anyway.

That evening, Joe was sent by Xisuma to check on Hypno when he didn't show up for dinner. Joe called Hypno’s name and waited patiently for a response. “Come in” came the muffled reply of Hypno. Joe entered, leaving the door open. “What are you up to?” he asked casually, heading over to where Hypno was. Hypno was curled up on his side in bed and just shrugged “Did you need something?” “Do you know what time it is?” “Like 6?” Hypno tried, grabbing his water bottle and drinking a bit. “Yeah, about. And that means…?” Joe prompted. “It's almost time to eat.” Hypno mumbled hesitantly. Joe nodded. “Dinner’s gonna be done soon, actually. We should start heading down.” “I- Im okay” Hypno replied. Joe frowned a little. While she liked to give Hypno space to self-control, understanding how important it was to him, they still couldn't let it slip by without a good reason, given Hypno's history and tendencies. “How much have you had today?” “Enough” Hypno replied curtly. “And that's how I know you haven't,” Joe clicked his tongue. “Come on. At least join us, even if you don't finish eating everything.” “...fine, just give me a minute.” Hypno said before grabbing his water bottle and putting on the biggest hoodie he has. Joe waited patiently, letting Hypno do as he needed.

On the way down, Joe tried to engage in casual conversation, mostly in effort to take Hypno's mind off of the idea of food. “So any new projects as of late?” “Im working on a painting right now” Hypno replied quietly, clearly regretting his choice of leaving his room. “Whats it about?” Joe continued. “It's based on a song,” Hypno murmured as they got to the dining room. “Oh? Which one? Have I maybe heard of it?” “Maybe, it's called Diet coke,” Hypno said sitting at his favorite spot not indenting on getting any food from the kitchen. Xisuama had other plans, bringing a pre-prepared plate over for both Joe and Hypno. The second Hypno saw it he immediately seemed ten times more upset. “I have uh- homework” Hypno said quickly before starting to leave the table. Joe was quick to react. “What kind? Maybe uh- you could use some help?” he offered. “We can put food away for later.” “Dont worry I got it! You can eat” Hypno stuttered out with a painfully fake smile. Joe pursed his lips. Exsona spoke up. “It's dinner, Hypno. Even if you don't eat, you should stay down here for longer than one minute.” Hypno seemed hesitant before he sat back down curled up in his chair. Joe gave him a sympathetic look as the conversation shifted to a new topic that wasn't Hypno.

Joe ate slowly, talking in between small bites. It wasn't that they weren’t hungry herself, more that he was trying to encourage Hypno to eat by example, but it didn't seem to have too much effect. Eventually, others started to finish dinner, depositing dishes in the sink before heading off to whatever awaited them. The second people started leaving Hypno attempted to leave again. Key word attempted. Unfortunately right in front of the stairs Pause stopped him. “Hello, Hypno,” he smiled politely, “do you have a moment to talk?” “Yeah sure,” Hypno replied, forcing himself not to sigh. “Great. Would you prefer to talk in your room or the office?” “My room” he decided with no hesitation, starting his way up the stairs. Pause followed. Joe frowned, not liking the looks of things, but there was nothing to do but wait and see.

Once Hypno and Pause were both settled, Pause started the conversation. “Is there a reason you decided not to eat at dinner tonight?” he asked, tone neutral and non-judgmental. Hypno sighed heavily. “Look, I know you've seen my file. Let's skip all this, what do you actually want?” he said curtly. Pause gave him a look somewhere between guilt and sympathy. “It is true I've read your file. I've also had a few conversations with TFC and some of the other students. I haven't had a good reason for major concern, but I have noticed some habits. While you're allowed to make decisions for yourself, I also want to make sure you're engaging in semi-healthy routines. I considered dinner as part of this routine, but tonight seemed to be very hard for you. I was wondering if there was any particular reason?” “I don't know,” Hypno mumbled. “Alright,” Pause reconsidered his approach. “How do you feel now? After not eating at dinner?” “Good?-i….i don't know,” Hypno looked down at his hands. “Are you able to expand on that?” Pause prompted. “Are you aware why it makes you feel good? Even if there are other emotions involved.” “It gives me control…and it- i don't know” Hypno trailed off. “It seems there's a lot you don't know or are unsure about,” Pause hummed. “Maybe there's some room for us to build awareness around your habits and the emotions and thoughts around those habits? I could help you with that. I'm here to support all of you.”

“I don’t need help, I'm fine” Hypno snapped. Pause was unreactive to the explosion, instead responding calmly. “I only wish to help you be functional. The people around you have noticed multiple ways in which you are hurting, struggling, and not reaching your full potential, related to your eating habits and general health. But if you are not accepting assistance, I cannot force it upon you. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force it to drink, as they say. I will let this conversation end here, if you wish it to be over, but know that it does not mean your decisions are free of consequences.” “Nothing's wrong in the first place, I don't need help,” Hypno glared. Pause hesitated. “I'll take your opinion into account. A patient’s opinion is a significant part of treatment. Is there anything else you wish to tell me before I leave?” “No,” Hypno mumbled. “Goodnight, Hypno,” Pause said before opening the door- nearly hitting Joe who was waiting anxiously outside the door. Pause raised a brow, but didn't initiate any conversation, continuing on his way.

Joe crept into Hypno’s room. “What was all that about?” “Nothing, it's stupid” Hypno murmured curling up under his weighted blanket, clearly upset from the interaction. Joe hummed. “Right,” he said. “Uh, well… did you maybe want to show me that painting?” Almost instantly Hypno perked up, getting up and grabbing the canvas from his desk. Joe smiled a little and waited for it to be presented to him. Hypno handed it to Joe looking like an overly excited puppy. The painting was a stark contrast of dark and bright colours. The background was black, with a confetti-type pattern. In the center of the canvas was a person painted in neon, with various colours highlighting features that emphasized just how emancipated the figure was. Their eyes were crossed out and blood poured from their mouth. It was disturbing to look at the painting of the person so frail they were almost inhuman, the effect of the contrast and style of messy washes of colour added to a disoriented effect, as if the viewer wasn’t able to see things quite clearly. Joe told Hypno as much. “It’s beautiful. It makes me terribly uncomfortable in the best way possible.” “Art is made to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted,” Hypno replied quietly while setting the painting back on his desk and sitting down on the bed curling up into his blanket. Joe nodded, agreeing. “I think you captured that idea very well. “Thank you,” Hypno replied with a smile. It was good to see him smile.

“So- anything you want to do before bed?” “I don’t think so,” Hypno replied, thinking hard. “Okay then… see you tomorrow?” Hypno nodded and handed Joe a small notebook “It's my sketchbook I finished yesterday if you wanna look over and let me know what you think tomorrow," Hypno mumbled. While he seemed unsure, Joe still thought the fact that Hypno offered the opportunity at all was strange. Hypno hardly ever shared unfinished work, and even his finished work he was choosy about. Joe felt surprised, honored, and concerned all at once, but took the notebook with a smile. “I’d love to take a look at what you’ve got in here. Oh- maybe I can give you one of my creative writing notebooks to read over? Like a weird little art exchange.” Hypno bounced a little where he sat “that would be awesome!” he exclaimed. “I’ll be right back then!” Joe said before speeding to her room.

They returned to Hypno’s room a few minutes later. “Sorry it took me a while, I couldn’t decide which notebook to hand over,” Joe admitted with a small chuckle. “It's ok! Meet in here tomorrow we can talk about everything!” Hypno rushed out as if his mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. Joe nodded, “sounds like a plan. After breakfast maybe?” Hypno faltered for a sec before nodding excitedly again “Okay!” “Alright! So- er- goodnight!” Joe beamed before scurrying away again.

The next morning Hypno woke up to an excited knock on his door. “Who is it?” “Heya, it’s Joe,” came the reply. “I take it you’re awake, then?” “Barley,” Hypno huffed, frankly still trying to gain his senses back from sleep. “You can come in if you want,” he added sleepily. Joe opened the door, meeting Hypno with a grin. “Goodmorning!” With his face buried in his pillow, Hypno mumbled somethin along the lines of ‘fuck off its 7am’. Joe laughed, though she made sure not to be too loud. “Should I bring food up, then?” “Nooooooooooo, too early for food,” Hypno mumbled, somehow burying his face into the pillow further. “You didn’t eat dinner yesterday,” Joe reminded, but decided to give Hypno some leeway. “I’ll get us some coffee, how about that?” At the offer, Hypno perked up slightly. “You know how I like it?” Hypno asked skeptically. Joe made a face as they tried to recall. “Well- it depends, doesn’t it? There’s ‘good coffee’ and then there’s ‘I hate myself and want it as black as my depression’ coffee. Right?” “A mix of both today,” Hypno murmured, hating how accurate the statement was. “Gotacha,” Joe nodded before heading to the kitchen. If he added creamer instead of milk and adjusted the sugar accordingly so Hypno wouldn’t notice the extra calories, then that was a secret that would go to the grave with her. They felt very guilty going behind Hypno’s back, but when he refused to take care of his body, sometimes Joe had to use underhanded means to ensure her friends remained- relatively functional.

Once they had returned and handed Hypno his coffee, Joe settled on the bed next to him. “So. Who wants to go first?” “Can you?” Hypno mumbled quietly. “Absolutely,” Joe nodded and carefully put her coffee down so he could open Hypno’s sketchbook. Joe flipped a few pages. “Obviously I think all of this is very good, but I’ll just focus on my favorites so we’re not here for three hours,” they chuckled a little and landed on a page full of various sketches. At first glance it looked like anatomy practice, but upon closer inspection, it was actually a variety of self portraits. They were scattered about the page, with different parts scribbled out, namely his face, legs, stomach. In the spaces between the sketches were flames. Joe pushed aside the feeling of discomfort and instead focused on the attributes that struck him as inspirational. “Your anatomy here is stellar. Did you use reference photos?” “No, I honestly just kinda went with the flow,” Hypno replied with a small smile. Joe tilted their head. “Really? That's insane.” Hypno smiled while sipping on his coffee “Thanks.”

Joe flipped through the notebook, occasionally showing a drawing or sketch to Hypno to compliment his work or ask about the significance, the two of them drinking their coffee in between. Joe ensured he told Hypno just how honored she was to be able to see his art, but they couldn’t help a creeping feeling seeing the pattern on Hypno’s art of just how horrible his body image was. But this was Hypno’s space to vent- just as Joe’s writing was their place to do the same. “You really are talented,” Joe murmured, closing the notebook after a while of going through it.

“Thank you! I loved your writing too! Especially this one!” Hypno was open to a poem Joe had abandoned partway through, but was genuinely still one of her favorites. They had written it on a day where their anxiety had caused nearly three panic attacks, and the anger that had followed was overwhelming. It was full of emotion, even if the rhyming scheme was nonexistent and the syllable count was off. It was almost more writing than poetry, and it always made Joe relive the pain, but it was somehow consoling in that way- that her suffering would not be forgotten and unheard.

“It's so vivid! Like it is so well written It was almost as if I was the one experiencing this.” Hypno exclaimed, bouncing up and down. Joe smiled a little. “Thanks. That's the point of creation isn’t it? To share your experience with others? I’m so glad that it could bring you in like that.” “Yeah I guess you're right.” Hypno said thinking about it. “If you think about it, if you don't share the experience it's almost like it never happened” Hypno thought out loud. “I guess,” Joe hummed. “But sometimes things are just.. private, and that doesn’t make them any less real.” Hypno hummed, putting down his half empty coffee. “True.” “Speaking of… anything you want to talk about?” Joe asked gently. Hypno sighed. “I already know what this is about, tell me what you're thinking.” “I know Pause already talked to you about- well, something. I tried not to listen too much. But you’re doing really bad, Hypno. And I know you think you’re in control but- I’m just really worried about you. You’ve been tired and moody and isolated… I’m really glad we can still have moments like this, where we can just talk and share things, but I wish I didn’t have to spend the whole time wondering when it will happen again, or if I’m going to have to sit and wait and hope.” “Im trying my best” Hypno mumbled looking down. “I know,” Joe smiled gently. “I know you’re trying, and I know it’s hard, but it’s okay to need help sometimes, you know?” “No it's not. If I fail, people will leave” Hypno snapped. “I won’t,” Joe responded softly, even as her hands dared to shake. “I won’t leave you, Hypno, I promise. And if anyone else does- then- then they weren’t worth it anyway. You deserve happiness, and anyone who takes pleasure in seeing you miserable is an asshole you don’t need to worry about.” “Promise?” Hypno murmured looking down. “I promise,” Joe nodded. “I’ll be here no matter what happens- I just don’t want to see you hurting anymore. Not while I sit back and just do nothing.”

Hypno looked at Joe trying to find any hint of a lie on Joe's face before wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you” He mumbled into their shoulder before relaxing for the first time in weeks.

In the end Hypno slowly started to do better with the help of Joe, Wels, Skizz and many others. Hypno might be struggling but at least he has his family to help.