Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eddie stands on the roof watching as Ravi zip lines onto the platform. His eyes don’t leave the unstable building, desperately searching for Buck. He waits and waits for what seems like hours, but Ravi’s still unclipping himself from the line.

“Come on, come on,” he mutters impatiently. The building rumbles and a fresh set of thick debris floats up into the air.

“Where is he? Was he attaching himself to the line before you got here?” he asks, turning around to look at Ravi.

He nods. “Said he was right behind me…”

Eddie spins around, searching and squinting his eyes until they hurt. “Buck, where are you?” he asks into his walkie as the building shakes. “Buck, you have to hurry!”

He watches with wide eyes and a sinking heart as the structure collapses. There’s a chance he screams but he’s not really sure. He can’t hear anything but the sound of his pounding heart.

Without wasting a second he’s spinning on his heels and racing into the streets, eyes locked on the pile of concrete where the structure was standing just a few seconds ago. Someone stands in his way, blocking him from going any further. His ears are ringing so loudly it’s deafening. He feels his heart hammering against his rib cage, his knees shakes along with his hands and he must be yelling because his throat hurts.

“–fuck out of my way!” he hears himself scream the last bit of his sentence, slowly returning to reality. He looks at the man in front of him and recoils.

“Can’t let you do that son,” Gerrard says and Eddie scoffs.

“I’m not asking. Get out of my way,” he walks towards the engine and picks up a halligan and his medkit with all his essentials, anything Buck might need. 

“Firefighter, I’m commanding you to stand down.” he continues but Eddie ignores him entirely.

“Buck!” he shouts into his walkie. “Buck, sound off!” He repeats but gets nothing. He feels a wave of nausea overcome him but pushes on. “Buck, I–I’m coming to get you. Just hang on okay? Hang on for me.”

“You’re not authorized to enter the premises! We don’t know the integrity of the structure yet. It could kill you both!” Gerrard argues but Eddie’s moving past him.

“You expect me to just leave him in there? Let him sit and wait for hours, injured, and maybe dying while you take your sweet time to give us the green light? That worked out splendid last time didn’t it?” he spits back, tears forming and threatening to fall at the thought of Buck waiting for death to take him the same way it took Bobby, with no one fast enough to save him.

“I’m not letting that happen again.” he stresses and starts climbing down into the site.

“An order’s an order, Diaz!” Gerrard shouts at him as he searches.

“Good thing I don't work for you,” he says and crouches, slipping into a small opening with a grunt at the rough squeeze.

He flicks on his flashlight and quickly looks around. The only thing visible is the huge chunks of concrete all piled up against each other at odd angles, flakes of dust and shredded concrete still falling onto the ground. One wrong movement could send the rest tumbling down on him. He starts walking.

“Buck!” he yells as he swings his flashlight around, illuminating the same sick shade of gray, particles of dust floating in the light. He crouches down under a flattened piece of concrete, peeking inside. Nothing. He still squeezes through it and keeps moving.

He continues going down his chosen direction, searching in every crevice and yelling for Buck. After five minutes of endless searching, he tries his radio again.

“Buck, give me a sign.” he asks, his voice shaking involuntarily. “Let me know you’re alive, please.”

Silence.

“Buck! Buck, please answer me!” he begs. The silence makes his heart ache. The nauseating thought of Buck not being able to answer because he’s—

That’s all it takes. His composed act is gone and now replaced with the real version of himself. Someone who watched his best friend fall from hundreds of feet in the air into a pile of concrete, with more bone crushing weight tumbling down right after him. Someone who's terrified and scared out of his fucking mind that he just lost his best friend forever.

He lets the tears slide down his face now that he’s alone. His breath shakes heavily and before he knows it he’s crouching down and sobbing into his hand. He tries to keep a steady rhythm as he inhales and exhales but it’s all messed up with how much he's crying.

There's a static sound coming through his walkie and then he hears his voice.

“Alive…but...stuck-” Buck grunts and then hisses. Eddie lets out a relieved breath but it gets caught in a sob and he’s started another round of what seems like endless crying.

“Thank god,” he finally says, still recovering. “Are you hurt bad? Where are you? Just describe it and I’ll find you.” he offers and gets back up onto his feet at lightning speed, whipping his tears with his sleeve and already on the move again.

“It’s mostly dark…I see a faint light but I can’t tell where it’s coming from. My leg’s pinned but I think that’s all.” Buck reports with a strained voice.

“Okay, I'm coming. Don’t try to do anything stupid. I’ll be there as quick as I can.” he reassures, hoping his little comment gave Buck a little comfort.

He swings his flashlight around as he walks, stumbling into some blocks of cement and wrecked furniture as he makes his way to where he hopes Buck is. He stumbles again, this time over some sort of rod. He’s kicked a curtain railing and it skidders into a rock, sending out a clang that grows quieter the further it rings. He gets an idea.

“Buck, try making some noise to help me find you. Get something metal and maybe hollow, like a rod, and bang it against a stone.” he suggests.

There’s a long moment of silence, maybe six minutes of it as Eddie slips through cracks and shoves boulders out of his way. He continues this difficult and painfully long process, slowly making his way deeper into the collapsed building and closer to Buck. He holds his breath and keeps his footsteps light, waiting to hear any sound that isn’t himself. The air is chilly and still, everything is too quiet. He wonders for a brief moment if he was too late. That something happened to Buck right after they spoke and he’s been lying somewhere dead this whole time.

He finally hears something—the sound of a faint bang, repeating over and over. It echoes louder the closer Eddie gets. His heart picks up its pace and he realizes his steps have too. He’s practically rushing through the rubble, not as careful as he was before. Crouching, shuffling, and shoving pieces of concrete out of his way and closer to Buck who sounds very much alive.

“Buck!” he exclaims as he makes eye contact with him, his blue eyes squinting as Eddie shines his flashlight in his face. Eddie redirects it and lets out a sigh of relief, thankful he finally found him. It’s quickly replaced with worry as he assesses the damage.

“Fuck, you’re bleeding,” he points out the spot of blood trickling down the side of his head. Buck tries nodding. “Don’t. You might have a spinal injury. Let me check you out first, ‘kay?”

“Whatever you say doc,” Buck says as he rests his head back onto the ground. “Can you uh…get this thing off me first…it’s gone completely numb–” he chokes on a sob and Eddie rushes to help him.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he says quickly, kneeling down and looking the boulder over. He adjusts the halligan, pushing it into the small gap between the ground and the concrete crushing Buck’s leg and starts pushing down on it. He grunts from the effort but he can feel it working, the giant rock lifting slightly under his strength.

“Buck, can you…pull your leg out?” he asks with a tight chest, most of his energy being used up by the lifting. Buck groans and whimpers from the pain as he slides his leg against the cement, it’s slow but it gets the job done.

“Got it,” he says and lets out a hiss from the aching. Eddie releases the boulder slowly and lets out a heavy breath. He hears a series of quiet shaky breaths coming from Buck and realizes he’s crying.

“Hey, hey, I got you,” he reassures him, getting up from his spot and moving closer to him. He reaches out and brushes his curls out of his face which is covered in layers of soot and debris. He still looks pretty this way.

“I got you.” he repeats and Buck starts smiling from embarrassment.

“Sorry,” he chokes out and laughs through a sob, throwing an arm over his face as if to hide the blush that must be blooming. “It just… hurts–”

Eddie’s already unzipping his medkit, rummaging around and pulling out a bottle of morphine, a rubbing alcohol packet and a syringe. He makes quick work with it, he’s done this countless times on thousands of patients. Just never on Buck.

He swallows and forces himself to focus. Buck needs him.

He rolls up Buck’s sleeve, decontaminates the area and inserts the needle with a poke. Holding his arm still, he can feel Buck slightly flinch and his muscles tighten up.

“You scared of needles?” he tries making small talk, in an attempt at distracting Buck. And distracting himself from the fact that Buck’s massive arms don’t even fit in the palm of his hand. Focus.

“No,” Buck replies and chuckles softly. “Bobby was though,” he adds after a beat of silence. They share a look, it speaks louder than any words they could’ve said instead.

Eddie pulls the needle back and throws it in the small waste bag inside his kit. “All done,” he says as he pulls out two bandage options. “Dinosaurs or cats?” he asks and Buck laughs.

“I’m gonna go with cats. Man, I want a cat,” he says and frowns, lips wobbling. Eddie mentally notes that Buck might be in shock.

“When we get out of here, we’ll stop by the shelter with Chris and get ourselves a cat. How’s that sound?” he offers and Buck’s eyes light up. He puts on the bandage then grabs a pen light to check Bucks eyes in order to properly determine how responsive he actually is.

“Kiss the boo boo,” he mutters and Eddie almost drops his pen.

“What?” he asks with a nervous laugh.

“Kiss my boo boo please,” he says and Eddie shakes his head.

“Buck, you’re seriously injured, okay? I need to focus.” he argues and flashes the light in his face, going side to side a few times. He frowns. Something isn’t right.

“Buck, you know who I am right?” he asks carefully and Buck nods. “Don’t move your head, remember?”

“Yeah, I know who you are, Eddie. What kind of a question is that?” he says with a sigh. He hisses and lifts a hand up to his chest. Eddie's eyes follow his movement.

He places his fingers on Buck’s chest, sliding against his muscles as he counts his ribs one by one. His face flushes for some reason. He’s thankful it's dark.

Buck giggles at the contact. “It tickles! Ah! Stop! Eds—stop! ” he says through a fit of laughter. Eddie tries hard not to smile, it's impossible when Buck’s laughing like that.

“Broken rib. Thankfully it's just one. Buck, stop laughing, you're just gonna damage it more.” he orders and Buck stops after beat. Eddie realizes his hand is still resting on his chest and quickly withdraws it. He clears his throat. He goes through his mental checklist; morphine, responsive…question mark, one broken rib.

“Checking your spine now,” he says before bringing both hands and putting them on either side of Buck’s neck. He feels his breath hitch at the touch and Eddie’s face starts heating up. Yeah, thank god it’s dark in here.

He feels around Buck’s neck, every second of it a strange level of intimacy that only makes his face more red. Then he made the mistake of looking at Buck, who was quite pointedly looking at Eddie’s lips. He must be seeing things. He squints a little, trying to see more clearly but it’s no use. Now he’s cursing the dark.

Buck’s eyes glance back up, staring into Eddie’s, confirming that they were in fact not directed there before. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

“All good,” he whispers, hands still placed on Buck’s neck. They stare at each other, afraid to move and way too afraid to speak. Eddie can feel Buck’s heart hammering against his chest, vibrating through his arms and matching his own heartbeat.

“Thanks for coming back for me. And for saving my ass,” Buck says quietly and Eddie smiles.

“Obviously I came back, Buck. Why wouldn’t I? You’re my partner and I’m always gonna be there for you. I got your back, remember?” he reminds him and Buck chuckles.

“And I got yours,” he replies and Eddie smiles wider.

They should get moving. Buck needs medical attention. Eddie should pull back now. Buck should stop looking at him like that. Eddie should stop looking. Buck should stop glancing down at his lips.

Eddie leans down the slightest bit, unsure of what he’s doing or what they’re doing. What are they doing? They should stop.

“You look good,” Buck says and shocks the air out of Eddie’s throat he practically chokes on it.

“What?” he asks in a hushed tone.

Buck lifts his hand up and flicks a strand of hair out of Eddie’s eyes, just like he had done to him before. “I said you look good. Like, really good.” he repeats and giggles, finger still wrapped around his hair.

The fuck?

“Buck–” Eddie says, pulling back. His heart starts racing and his palms start sweating. He swallows hard and takes a deep breath, pushing his emotions aside for a moment. He reaches into his bag again and pulls out his light, flashing into Buck’s eyes silently. His blue eyes shine like literal diamonds in the dark. Eddie holds his breath as he works, ignoring the look his best friend is giving him. Focus, Eddie. Focus.

“I knew it,” he whispers and shakes his head, frowning with worry. “You’ve got a minor concussion.” he explains and Buck scoffs.

“I think I'd be able to tell if I was concussed,” he argues and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Listen to the medic, Buck,” he says and Buck giggles again. It makes Eddie flush.

“The medic is looking hot as fuck and info dumping to me. I’m not concussed Eds, I'm dreaming.” Buck replies in a dreamy tone and sighs.

“I’m not info dumping dipshit, I’m giving you a medical report—” he replies and Buck reaches up to run his hand through his hair again. Eddie shuts right up.

“Whatever. It’s hot.” Buck says like it’s a completely normal thing to say.

“Buck.” Eddie warns. God he needs him to shut up. He can’t do this here. He can’t breathe. He knows Buck is seriously hurt. He needs to get to the ambulance as soon as possible before he suffers from serious brain damage. Not to mention his crushed leg.

“Okay, nothing wrong with your spine so up you go,” he instructs. Buck blinks and follows his lead, sitting up slowly and with Eddie's assistance, getting up onto his feet.

“How’s the leg?” he asks.

“It’s still there,” Buck responds and looks down at it. Eddie rolls his eyes.

“I can see that. I mean can you walk?” he clarifies and Buck’s mouth makes a small oh before he tests out his abilities. He winces as he walks, hopping slightly after every step.

“This is the best I can do,” he says and Eddie nods.

“Okay that's great. Good job,” he says and swears Buck blushes at that compliment. They need to get out now.

He pushes down on his walkie. “This is Eddie, I’ve found Buck and got him patched up for now. We’re finding our way out now. Gonna need an ambulance on standby. He’s got a minor concussion and a crushed leg—”

“Again,” Buck adds and groans. “The same fucking leg that got crushed by our engine. Can you guys believe this shi–”

“Could be a major concussion, actually,” Eddie interrupts and Buck rolls his eyes. “We’ll keep you updated.”

“Copy that, Eddie,” Chim is the one to respond. “Glad to hear you’re alive, Buck.”

“You too!” he replies and Eddie sighs.

“Let’s go cowboy,” he says, grabbing onto Buck’s arm—which again doesn't even begin to fit in Eddie’s hands—and they make their way back through the route he took earlier.

————————————————

The trip back is somehow way worse. Not because they’re lost, or because Buck’s injuries are slowing them down (they’re surprisingly not), but because Eddie can’t focus on what’s right in front of him because his mind keeps lingering on what’s next to him.

Look, he’s known Buck for about eight years, give or take. He’s quite used to seeing him for extremely long periods of time. Twenty four hours, seven days a week, sometimes even more than that. He knows Buck. He's say he even understands Buck.

What Eddie's realizing is that he’s never seen Buck…at least in this particular sense.

To describe it in a much more appropriate way—compared to what’s racing through his mind—Buck’s covered in debris, his stubble is full of it Eddie’s trying so fucking hard to hold back from running his hands through it, his face is dimly light in the wreckage of cement which adds to his attractiveness and he looks (also feels) so strong and capable.

Eddie bites his lip hard and curses the dark for feeding his disgusting fantasies. Please let them be close to the exit.

“I can feel you staring,” Buck says with a chuckle and Eddie scrambles for an excuse.

“Just...checking in.” he settles for.

“I’m doing bad,” he responds, his smile betraying him.

“Be serious.”

“You’re squeezing my arm quite tight is all,” he says, shooting a smirk down at Eddie.

A fucking smirk.

“Don’t want you to trip and fall,” he replies smoothly.

“And ruin this pretty face even further? Oh, I know! It’d be so tragic. You know I'm a certified pretty boy,” he mentions, practically buzzing from the accomplishment.

“That’s the concussion speaking,” Eddie jokes.

“No, Cap said I was. I saw the way the others looked at me anyways, they totally agree,” he rambles on and Eddie just listens with a smile, helping Buck duck his head occasionally or slip through a tight crack.

“What do you think? Do I qualify as a pretty boy?” Buck has the audacity to ask. Eddie chokes on his answer, which comes out embarrassingly quick.

“Yeah, Buck,” he says quietly. Buck beams as if it’s only Eddie’s opinion he actually cared about.

Eddie’s overthinking this. That’s not what it meant...Right?

“I think you're pretty too,” Buck responds and Eddie stumbles on an non-existing rock.

What the fuck?

“Thanks–” he chokes out and Buck simply nods like that was just a regular conversation.

This whole situation has been weird. Every word, every action, every moment has been laced with something new and dangerous. Eddie doesn't actually find it weird. It’s scary, sure, but not weird in the slightest. A part of him is actually…enjoying it?

He tries to focus on his breathing, on his footing, on keeping Buck safe. The proximity, heavy breathing and the intimate positions from earlier flood every inch of his brain. The dark is the last thing to betray him.

All he can do now is accept it and let his mind paint the prettiest pictures. God, he's suck a freak.

The sound of cars honking and sirens ringing is what indicates that they’ve almost made it back. He couldn’t be more grateful.

They stumble on one final obstacle. A giant slab of cement hanging just below their chests, blocking them from the exit. No going over, or around. Only under.

“Can you do it?” he asks Buck who nods hesitantly.

“Well, I mean, we got this far. And there's no moving it, that’ll only cause the entire structure to shift seismically.”

“Wow, using big boy words, are we?” he teases and Buck scoffs.

“Yeah, 'cuz I’m a big boy. This isn’t as shocking as you make it seem. I read, you know.” he shoots back playfully.

“Focus,” Eddie says, mostly talking to himself and his stupid imagination which seems to have lost all senses of self-control as it shamelessly conjures up all sorts of things after hearing Buck say those words. Snap out of it Eddie, come on.

“On your knees,” he instructs and Buck obliges, used to trusting his instincts, especially in the past few minutes it took them to get this far. It’s been a team effort, with Eddie supporting him through the process of getting through the tough blockades.

Buck winces as he makes contact, shifting his legs so they’re placed out in front of him while he sits.

“Okay, I’ll go first then pull you through. Sounds good?” he directs and Buck gives him a thumbs up.

“Got it.” he says as Eddie crouches and easily slips through the gap. He gets on his knees and grabs Buck’s legs, trying to gently pull him without hurting him too bad. With a grunt and one powered tug, Buck is entirely through.

Buck sits there, leaning on his arms which are propping him up. Eddie’s sitting at his side, practically in his lap, staring right into his blue eyes, finally visible in the glow of the sun peaking through the gaps of their exit. Eddie realizes he’s still got his hands on Buck’s legs, so he lets them slide up to his hair, to casually dust it off.

Buck shivers badly and Eddie feels him tense up. He feels something in his lap tense up too. And as if his luck couldn't get any better, he feels himself start acting up too.

Oh god, they’re so fucked once they get home.

“You’re gonna need a shower,” he says quietly as his hands brush through his hair, grey from all the dirt and debris. Buck holds his gaze and nods firmly.

“Yeah…you too…” he replies.

“I call dibs,” Eddie jokes with a soft chuckle.

“You can have it, Eds. God, you can have anything looking like this,” he admits with a sigh and now it’s Eddie who’s lap is completely tensed.

So. Fucked.

Yeah, he’s really gonna need that shower now.

“Buckley! Diaz! What’s your status? Because if you two are deceased somewhere, we have to send a search team to retrieve your bodies!” Gerrard's voice rings over their walkie talkies, startling them enough to jolt away from each other.

“This is Buckley-Diaz reporting back,” Buck says into his walkie. Eddie blushes at the nickname, his stomach fluttering. Buck’s going to kill him.

“You guys are alive?” he asks, shocked.

“We wouldn’t be responding if we were dead,” Eddie replies with an attitude and shakes his head, looking at Buck with a look that screams I-fucking-hate-Gerrard.

“Of course they’re alive,” Hen interrupts and practically shoos Gerrard away. “Best firefighters I know.” she says and Ravi scoffs behind her.

“I’m standing right here,” he says, voice picked up by her walkie.

“Yeah, you too Rav. Anyways, ambulance should be waiting for you guys right at your exit. Same place you entered from Eddie,” she reassures them.

“Thanks Hen. We’re coming out now,” he replies, looking over at Buck and smiling. “Time to go home.”

————————————————

The thing about home is that it’s their home. Eddie and Buck. Buck and Eddie…

He drives Buck home from the hospital a week after the incident. Apparently his injuries weren't very severe; the concussion was already healed up and as for his leg, he was advised lots of rest, a few weeks off work—which he argued a shit ton over of course—and some prescribed medicine which they picked up before returning to the house.

The keys jingle against the door as it swings open and Eddie holds it open for Buck.

“You don’t have to do that, Eds. The doctor said I’m fine,” he insists but Eddie just rolls his eyes.

“You’re trusting that doctor over your very own medic? Come on Buckley, have a little faith in me.” he teases.

“Okay then. What do you suggest?” Buck asks, crossing his arms with a grin plastered on his face.

“Hmm let’s see,” he pretends to think extensively over this as he walks over to the couch, leaning against the back. “Rest, medication, no work,” he lists and Buck rolls his eyes.

“That’s what the doctor said, smartass,” he replies, smiling.

“I’m not finished, smartass.” Eddie shoots back teasingly and continues listening on his fingers. “No work includes no cooking. I’m making dinner for the next full week.” Buck groans at that.

“Uh, and you accept my help and love when I offer it, because I care for you and want you to get better. So, no arguments,” he goes on but Buck’s fallen silent.

“I’m gonna be driving Chris to school for the next few weeks until your leg gets better. Uh, what else?” he thinks for a moment more before looking up at Buck who's looking at him with furrowed brows.

“What?” he asks.

“You-you said…love…” he replies quietly and Eddie feels his heart drop.

He said fucking what?

“I–I don’t think I did?” he insists, mind racing through the last few comments he made. What the fuck did he say?

“You said you’d offer help and love,” Buck repeats, taking a careful step closer.

“Oh,” Eddie says, way too quietly but he doesn’t care. He’s too afraid he’s fucked this up forever. That Buck’s going to turn around and walk out the door. That he’ll gladly take that transfer if it means never coming back to work with him, or drive Chris to school, or cook for them, or hang out on Friday nights together, or take them to places around LA and teach them about the history and facts and just be the Buck in their lives.

No more of that because Eddie fucking slipped up.

“Sorry,” he whispers, dropping his head in his hands. “Let's pretend I didn’t say that, okay? Because clearly you found it weird and I don’t want this to be weird. 'Cuz you’re my best friend and you mean the world to me and Chris and if I lose you—”

He feels Buck gently touch his shoulder and he look down into his eyes. “Why do you think you’re losing me?” he asks with a smile.

“Because I fucked up,” he admits. Buck just shakes his head.

“No you didn’t. I’m just… surprised. I never thought I’d heard you say that to me. And…I-I’ve been thinking the same thing…for a pretty long time now. It’s kind of embarrassing.” Buck confesses. The air seems to grow warmer by a million degrees. Eddie’s suddenly aware how close he’s gotten.

“You what?” he asks in a hushed voice, as if he’s afraid someone might hear. They won’t. They’re entirely alone right now.

“You’re not the only one who daydreams you know,” Buck says with a shy smile, cheeks growing red. Eddie just stares at him, searching for a clear answer.

“You’re not as slick as you think, Eds. I could feel you glaring at me the other day,” he says through a chuckle and Eddie must be turning red because his face is hot.

“You’re lying,” Eddie argues, like it’s going to help his case. 

“I’m literally not. Eddie, it was really obvious–” he begins but Eddie cuts him off.

“No, I mean about you…feeling the same. I don’t want–just…don’t say yes because you feel bad. I don’t–” he rambles, not really sure what else to say. He feels his face burning up, the embarrassment prickling his cheeks.

“Eds, trust me when I say, however much love you've got for me, double it and that's how much I have for you,” he says, his face growing more pink with every word that leaves his mouth.

The ground feels like it’s swaying. Eddie’s legs feel like jelly. And he cannot believe Buck is standing a few inches away from him confessing his undying love for him.

What the fuck?

“So…” he starts, gathering his thoughts. “You’re saying you love me more, is that it?” he asks, almost accusingly. Buck grins and gets even closer, if that’s somehow possible. They're both practically pressed against each other.

“Well…I think I’ve loved you from the start but…it’s this past year, you moving away...I started missing the little things. Sharing meals, working next to you, talking to you, standing in a crowded room with you—”

“You’re acting like I died—”

“I just…missed it. Missed you. And I realized—well, Maddie helped—but I realized what I felt for you was different than how I feel for Chim or Hen or even Ravi.” he admits and ducks his head, looking up through his lashes. “It’s love but…a different kind.”

Eddie feels his stomach flip nearly twenty times.

“I…I didn’t know that…” is all Eddie can say. Seriously, what do you say after something like that?

Buck chuckles and fidgets with his hands, clearly nervous. “Yeah, well, it's not like you can read my mind," he says, glancing up at him. "And I can’t read yours. We have to tell each other things. So I’m telling you…and I also wanna to tell you…that..I want you to stay.” he says, looking at him with stern eyes.

“Stay?” he echoes as a question. He’s thankful for the couch behind him, keeping him upright because he would’ve been on the floor from all the shaking forever ago.

“Stay,” Buck emphasizes, letting his hand brush Eddie’s. “Stay in LA. Stay at the 118. Stay here…with me.” he says.

Eddie never considered it as an option. But now Buck is laying it out on the table, a tempting dream given the chance to become reality. Him and Chris back home, living in this house with all their stuff mixed with Buck’s until it’s as natural as breathing. Every one of their moments with the addition of Buck, his playful smile and teasing remarks. Buck in every corner of their lives like he’s meant to be.

“I’ll stay,” he whispers and Buck smiles wide. “We’ll both stay. I mean, I’ll have to check with Chris…but if you really mean what you said, that you want us to stay here with you …then he’s definitely on board.” he says and Buck nods keenly.

“Of course I meant it,” he reassures and sighs, still smiling. His pinky interlocks with Eddie’s and his thumb brushes the back of his hand in a comforting manner. It makes Eddie's heart flutter. Buck leans his head down, looking at him through his dirty blonde lashes. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers.

Eddie blushes and starts nodding, a little embarrassed at how eager he is.

“Yes, Buck.” he breaths out, eyes darting to his pink lips.

“Say please–” Buck starts But Eddie cuts him off.

His hands are grabbing his face and pulling him down into a deep kiss, fingers slowly trailing up and tugging on his golden locks making Buck moan. Eddie doesn’t stop. He nips and tugs on his bulky figure, desperately trying to feel every inch of him without having to hide his hunger anymore.

Buck shrugs off the thin sweater he had on and starts directing Eddie backwards into the kitchen counter, making him stumble briefly. He laughs and pulls him back for another kiss.

Buck groans against him, the sound sending chills down Eddie’s spine. He feels Buck’s hands grip behind his thighs as he lifts him up with ease and plops him onto the counter. Eddie feels like he’s fucking floating. He’s about to tell Buck all the things he thought about regarding his strong and capable arms but before he can Buck’s nipping at his throat and he lets out a soft moan. Buck smiles against his skin.

“You taste good,” he comments and Eddie holds back another noise.

“Buck, I swear to fucking god,” he says and Buck laughs.

“Let me get this shit off my chest, Eds. There’s a lot I’ve wanted to tell you but never could.” he admits sheepishly.

“Send me a list,” Eddie replies and pulls Buck back up into another kiss, this one trailing down his stubble and latching onto his throat. Buck lets out a muffled moan which only encourages him to continue.

And then he whimpers and Eddie feels his mind go blank. Whimpering. From the big strong man grinding himself against Eddie. Okay. Yeah.

“Buck, oh my god,” he says, pulling back to look at him. Buck’s flushed, from his cheeks to his birthmark, in the prettiest shade of pink Eddie’s ever seen. He wants to kiss that next.

Buck’s hair is a hot mess and he’s biting down on his lip to suppress any other sounds from escaping, his chest rising and falling from breathing so heavily.

It’s hot as hell. And Eddie lets him know.

“You look hot as fuck,” he says as he tilts his head to the side. Buck’s eyes light up.

“Stop it,” he whines and lets out a soft chuckle, growing even more pink while breathing harshly.

“You do.” he insists and Buck grins.

“Well, you don’t know how hot you look right now. Perched up, messy hair, wild fucking eyes, pretty face all rosy—” he lists and Eddie squirms.

“Buck,” he groans and lightly smacks Buck’s arm.

“Thighs absolutely suffocating me holy fuck—” he continues.

“Shut up, Buckley,” he shoots back as his cheeks grow even more red.

“Make me, Diaz,” Buck responds with a teasing grin placing his hands on his thighs and Eddie practically launches himself into Buck’s lips again, sucking and moaning and tugging and making Buck moan.

Eddie realizes quickly that this is exactly where he’s meant to be. In the loving arms of Evan Buck Buckley who treats him like he hung the stars in the sky. For loving him even with his flaws and through his tribulations. For caring for him and Chris in a world that wasn’t always kind to them.

Yeah, Eddie loves Buck. And he now understands that Buck’s been his home all along.

————————————————

Just as Buck slides his hands back under Eddie’s thighs to lift him and bring him to the bedroom, the doorbell rings. They groan and pull away, eyes darting to the front door.

“Were you expecting someone?” Buck asks as he lets go of Eddie.

“No…Did you order something?” he asks him, but Buck shakes his head.

Buck moves back and gives Eddie room to get himself down from the counter as they both make their way to the door, running their fingers through their hair in an attempt to appear more presentable.

“Maybe it’s Hen or Chim checking in on you,” Eddie speculates as he walks into the living room.

“Or Ravi playing a prank on me. Kicking me when I’m already down,” he sighs dramatically and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“I’m letting him in if that’s true,” he jokes and unlocks the door, letting it swing open.

They both go silent as they stare at the man standing at the door.

Bobby. Very much alive.

Their mouths hang open as Bobby smiles at them.

“Hey guys! How’s it going?” Bobby asks as he spreads out his arms, as if waiting for a hug. They don’t move, too shocked to even register what they’re seeing.

“Bobby?” Eddie ventures as he leans in to get a better look. Bobby leans back and throws a calm set of jazz hands.

“In the flesh,” he confirms.

Buck loses his balance and bumps into the wall with a thud , hands gripping on the edge as he props himself up.

“What the fuck?” Eddie mutters and then clears his throat. “Sorry. Cap, what the fuck?” he corrects, as if that’s any better.

“It’s a long story,” he says and Eddie steps to the side, giving him space to enter. “And also it’s not Cap anymore.” he clarifies while pointing at him, as if to say gotcha.

“Sit down. Explain. We got water and some juice, take your pick,” he offers, mind racing and floor swaying.

“Yeah, I’m really parched. I’ll have some juice, please.” Bobby requests as he sits on the couch with a loud sigh. Buck slowly goes over to him and pokes his shoulder. Bobby looks up at him and smiles.

“Hi Buck,” he says.

“Hi…” Buck replies in a shaky voice.

Eddie lets out a hysterical laugh.

Is this all just a dream? A really nice dream that started out with him and Buck making out in their kitchen and ended with Bobby showing up at their doorstep looking healthy and alive.

“What the fuck happened, Bobby?” Buck demands, finally accepting that yes, his former captain really is sitting in front of him with a beating heart. “You died. We had a fucking funeral for you.”

Bobby raises an eyebrow and looks between them, accepting the juice and taking a sip. “You guys had a funeral?” he asks and laughs. “With whose body?”

They just stare at him in silence, realizing slowly that he’s got a point.

“Okay, so where the fuck were you then? How did you not die? Bobby I watched you die,” Buck demands for answers, voice raising a little in desperation.

“False actually. You didn’t watch me die, you weren’t even there for that part.” Bobby corrects and takes another sip.

“Well I wasn't there at all so,” Eddie mutters.

“Sorry about that, Eddie,” Bobby says softly and pats his shoulder in apology. “Hey, at least I'm not dead! Because that would’ve been horrible, huh?” he adds.

“You still won’t tell us how you’re not,” Buck repeats, leaning in eagerly.

“Okay, where do I even begin? I mean this is crazy!” Bobby says and laughs. They don't laugh back so he continues, clearing his throat.

“Remember around seven years ago how I found out my blood had components to it that could fight off literally every disease ever?” he asks and they nod.

“Yeah, so building onto that, apparently the FBI found out about it and instead of taking me to a decontamination room and to prepare my body for a burial—which wasn’t even deceased by the way, I just passed out,” he laughs and continues, “they took me somewhere else, some sort of lab.”

They watch him with wide eyes, shaking their heads because what Bobby’s saying is ridiculous. Like, batshit crazy. They're not entirely sure this isn't a mass hallucination.

“So they had me locked up there and were drawing my blood in hopes to make an antiviral,” he explains and they start nodding, the story starting to make some sense.

“It didn’t work because I healed too fast. They didn’t have anything to test the antiviral on anymore. But of course they kept going—” he says but Buck cuts him off.

“Why didn’t you try escaping?” he asks and Bobby grins sheepishly.

“I uh…was knocked out most of the time.” he replies.

“Oh my god! They had you drugged for that long?” Eddie asks, shocked and extremely concerned for Bobby, praying he doesn’t suffer any long term effects from so much drug use.

“What? No,” Bobby says, taking another sip. “They didn’t have to do any of that. I passed out voluntarily. Every time they brought out a needle—zoop,” he mimics the act of passing out. “Out like a light.”

Buck scoffs from disbelief. Eddie just shakes his head.

“So how are you here now?” Eddie asks.

“Oh, they were gonna dispose of me. I think dump me somewhere across the country. Those idiots forgot I wasn't drugged and said that right over me. So the second they left, boom—I ran up out of there.” he finishes and chugs his glass of orange juice.

“You ran?” Buck repeats.

“Yeah, I ran,” he replies.

“How many miles was that?” Eddie asks and Bobby shrugs.

“Too many to count,” he says and laughs.

“You ran on foot all the way here?” Eddie clarifies and Bobby nods in exaggeration.

“Yes, Eddie, I ran here. I used to figure skate, it’s not that different.” he says and Buck raises a brow.

“Um, it’s like, very different, Cap,” he says and Bobby waves him off.

“They both use their legs, Buck. Not that different,” he argues and they give up on their questioning, falling silent instead.

He looks between them and frowns.

“Hard to believe, I know but you’re just gonna have to trust me.” he says and Eddie shrugs.

“Oh, I trust you Cap. It’s just that…it is hard to believe.” he explains and Bobby scoffs.

“Exactly. Now imagine how Athena’s gonna take it,” he says and grimaces. “Hey, do you guys mind if I crash on the couch tonight? Just until I figure out how to explain this all to her without pissing her off and actually dying.” he asks and now they’re laughing.

“Yeah, Bobby, anything you need,” Eddie says as he smiles at him. “We’re glad you’re back, Cap.”

“Good to be back. I missed you guys,” he says looking between them. Buck smiles, eyes tearing up.

“Yeah, we missed you too.”