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Chapter Text

“I don't need any help from Mudbloods like her” 

The words escaped Severus Snape's mouth before he could even taste the bitterness of them on his lips. He didn't even have a chance to stop himself from starting the ruin of his life.  

Lily's face was almost as heartbroken as Snape felt. It turned to hatred moments after, and tears welled up in her eyes as she shouted “Well fine then, i- i won't bother helping in the future!” 

It was a wail almost, her lisp quivering and she spoke the last direct words to severus. The last time he would hear her speak directly to him was in hatred. Anger. disgust. Lily Evans was disgusted by him, it was clear on her face. Her cheeks damp from two lines of tears that had fallen, and were visible just before she turned on her heel and ran off. Her hair was slightly a mess, but Snape had helped her tidy it merely hours before. 

She had been studying with him for weeks and weeks preparing for the final exams, and specifically today's defense against the dark arts exam. She hardly slept, except for the few minutes she nodded off while reading a particularly dull text about the history of counterhexes. Severus let her sleep, knowing she would scold him for it later for “ wasting precious study time.” By the time she woke up, the exams were in two hours, and that's about when he brushed a strand from her face as she concentrated on her notes. 

“What are you doing?” she asked, not looking up from the parchment. 

“Tidying up is all,” he replied gently, his voice in a lowly whisper, hoping not to be caught on the scolding end of Madam Pince’s wand. “Someones gotta take care of you while you're poured over these books for the past two weeks.” 

Lily smiled, and blushed slightly, the pink in her face blending with the red of her hair like the blaze of the setting sun. She looked away from the text for the first time in hours, besides her short nap moments before, and smiled up at him. “Thank you, Sev.” She put a warm, ink stained hand on his cheek and tapped it gently. 

“Of course,” he answered, and continued to push back messy strands of hair, twisting them together into a soft plait falling down her back. “You look beautiful.” he whispered, tying off the end of the plait with a light blue ribbon he withdrew from his robes. 

They sat there silently for the next hour or so until it was time to head to the great hall for exams. Lily walked with Severus, and a few of her Gryffindor friends tagged along with the two of them. Severus knew that Lily's friends weren't too fond of him, but he tried his best to be polite, offering a welcoming smile, and waving awkwardly. 

She was on the opposite side of the hall from him though, when it came time to take their seats in the hall, but she gave him a sharp nod of good luck and a smile before the exams were passed out, along with the ‘anti cheating quills’ McGonagall promised them. Severus would never cheat, nor would Lily — it  would go against their academic integrity, but certain individuals, such as a specific dark messy haired, spectacled boy sitting a row or two in front of Severus, would. 

Potter, James Potter to be precise, although Severus never saw the need in calling Potter by his first name, let alone talking to him at all. James potter was, well, in the nicest way Severus could put it — an arse. An arrogant, lazy, loud mouthed, persistent, pathetic, arse. He had been one since his first step in Hogwarts, and Severus was convinced he would be one until his last step out of it. He didn't even want to think about the years beyond Hogwarts, although he assumed the arse characteristic would carry on. Severus tolerated James Potter at best, it was all he could do to keep himself from sending a rather unfriendly spell in his direction. He was a classmate, not a friend, not even an acquaintance. He was a bully most of all. 

Ever since Severus’ own first step in Hogwarts, his time had been made miserable by Potter. Taunting, teasing, hexing. It didn't end with Potter, ever.  It didn't seem to matter that Severus wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, Potter wouldn't give in. He would chase him across the grounds, hex his legs together while walking, and even put flobber worms under his pillow — although he has no proof it was potter, or even a way to prove how he managed to get into the Slytherin dorms unnoticed, he was sure it was him. 

Potter was messing around now, carving something into the desk with the top of the quill. And he was looking at Lily, but when wasn't he gazing at her with his smug grin on his face. That's how this whole mess started after all, James and Lily. 

Severus never wanted anything to do with James Potter, he didn't want to be his enemy, and he certainly didn't want to be his friend. He wanted to be no one to James Potter, but he didn't get off so easily. The first words he ever spoke to Servus were in disgust and judgement. Potter was appalled Severus was hoping he and Lily would both end up in Slytherin. Potter teased him, but Lily led them out of the train compartment. He hoped he would never have to interact with Potter again but he wasn't so lucky. 

James took a liking to Lily rather fast. He would follow her around the school, calling after her and butting into conversations. And wherever Lily was, Severus typically followed. He didn't have many friends in Slytherin, or in general in those first two years, so he stuck with Lily. 

Once Severus knew James fancied Lily, something switched in his head. Lily Evans was the girl from down the road who he had watched for a long time, and who he had grown to be best friends with. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he thought he may even love her, and that wasn't a feeling he had ever felt before. Potter shouldn't even be allowed to think about her that way. He was evil, and Lily was pure, and Severus was filled with a wretched jealousy over someone Lily didn't even fancy back. 

As Potter grew older, he became more horrible, and more obsessed with asking out Lily Evans every opportunity he got. Lily wouldn't have any of it, sending him off in a flurry of red embarrassment, or even coming close to hexing him many times. 

As they grew older, Severus started to make some friends in his own house away from Lily. She didn't like them very much, but Severus looked up to them, despite them all being the same age. To him they were intelligent and thought things that Severus never even tried bringing up to Lily. Of course, Lily didn't like his new friends and would complain about them. One of their jokes went the wrong way, and unfortunately was aimed at one of Lilys best friends and dorm mates, and Severus didn't hear the end of it. She didn't understand him, even after 5 years of friendship, she didn't, and he wasn’t sure she would ever truly get it. He loved her despite all of it, but the years worth of frustration tended to eat away at him, but he tried his best to conceal it. 

He snapped himself out of the rabbit hole of memories once he heard the crinkling of parchments being passed out to the room. The defense against the dark arts exam should be a breeze, it was his favourite subject after all. Avery and Mulciber understood that, it was their favourites too. Lily's was transfiguration, which Severus didn’t detest, but nothing could match the excitement he felt when perfecting defensive spells. 

He didn't tell anyone, not even Lily, but he and his friends would sometimes sneak into the restricted section in the library. There were hundreds of books that were off limits to students, but were full of much more fascinating spells than what their professors taught them. They would scribble down notes in the corners of their parchment and practise them in the middle of the night. It quickly became Severus’ favoruite part about Hogwarts. 

The exam, as predicted, was quite simple, especially with the more advanced knowledge he had, the questions felt like third year material to him. Lily seemed to be content with the exam as well, she told him once they met up afterwards. 

They went their separate ways after the exam, Lily wanted to hang out with her dorm mates, and Severus needed a break after the weeks of endless studying for all their owls. 

The break did not come however, and during his walk though the ground trying to reach an empty spot by the lake where he liked to sit, he was stopped by the grating sounds of Potter's voice. 

The next few minutes were in a sort of haze. He heard Potter's taunting, and Sirius Black's laughter, which was quickly followed by most of the students nearby joining in and teasing him. He was used to it by now, but it still gave him a stinging feeling whenever his classmates laughed at him. 

Severus had only enough time to fish his wand out of his robes, but Potter disarmed him faster than he could mutter one of the advanced defensive spells that Mulciber had taught him. With another flick of his wand, Potter sent another spell his way, and Snape started coughing up pink soapy bubbles. He was sure had stopped breathing  when he heard Lily's voice shouting over the crowd. 

“Leave him alone!” 

His heart sank, it wouldn't be good he knew it. Whenever Lily got involved, despite her attempts to help Severus, it only made Potter more enthusiastic and eager to bully him more. Potter fired back at her threats with his usual routine of asking her out, and he would never touch Severus again. Lily responded with one of her clever rejections, this one, if Snape heard correctly over the boos and laughter was about the giant squid. 

As it always seemed to go for Severus, things got worse. Potter had him in another jinx, and shot him up with his wand to hover upside down. His trousers had been pulled down, and technically up, since he was upside down, to his ankles, which erupted even more fits of laughter from the students. He only hung in the air for a few seconds before Potter sent him crashing down to the hard earth, fumbling for his wand and to get his trousers back up. He was hit just after with a body binding jinx, and he fell straight backwards. 

Lily continued to shout, and it just made everything worse and worse. The students laughed more, Potter got more enraged, the evil look in Black's eye grew. Lily shouted at Potter one final time to end this, and Potter seemed to grow bored of the act, and lifted the spell. 

“You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-” James called over while Severus stumbled to his feet again. 

“I don't need any help from Mudbloods like her!” 

He shouted the words before he thought about them. He wasn't sure if he even meant it, but the stress from studying and sleepless nights, the built up frustration and disconnection between him and Lily the past year boiled to the surface and he said it anyway. 

Lily's face took him back to years before, when he first talked to her in the muggle playground. How she had been teased by her sister, Lily was heartbroken Petunia wouldn't see the magical side of things. That couple of weeks leading up to their departure from Hogwarts was the most upset he had ever seen Lily until now. Her face was just as upset as that day, maybe even more. Petunia called her a freak, a weirdo at a school full of freaks.

But he had called her something even worse. Mudblood. Mulciber taught him that word, what it meant. Mulciber called all the muggle borns at Hogwarts that, and Severus never batted an eyelash, because he never said it to Lily. His friends knew how deeply Severus cared for her, and they were civil enough to back off. He had said the word before, and never felt its meaning until now. Before, it was just a pass off insult, it didn't have meaning to him when it was aimed at nameless students. But to say it to Lily, he was certain he would always be able to feel the shape his lips made as he spoke it, and the bitter taste on his tongue as he realised what he had done. 

“Well fine then, i- i won't bother helping in the future!” Lily shouted at him, in a half cry. “And i'd wash your pants if i were you, Snivellus” 

The awful nickname Potter gave him stung him like poison in an open wound, but Lily taking his side almost killed him. Even Potter was appalled at what Snape had done, shouting at him but everything was muffled, his head was pounding and the scene starting to go blurry. 

Severus felt the entire world start to crumble to pieces around him, and realised maybe he was just as evil as Potter. 

~

The day after the incident by the lake, Lily was not in any of her classes, she wasn't in the great hall, and he spotted her friends taking an extra plate from dinner to bring up to her. The next day she was back, he knew her never to miss class for too long, even if the exams were already over. 

Despite how much it pained him to do so, he took a page out of Potter's book and followed Lily around the school, chasing her on her way to class, running after her shouting, but she wouldn't listen, or even look at him. Her friends got in between them, and just stared at him until he left in defeat. 

After a week he resorted to pounding on the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Lily apparently refused to come out of her room once classes and meals were done for the day, according to one of the fourth years. Still, he knocked for hours until his pale white knuckle turned raw and red. 

The door opened after three hours of knocking, and it was Mary, one of Lily's friends, the one Mulicbers joke had gone bad on. 

“Snape, what do you want?” Mary spat, resting her arm on the door frame, “she doesn't want to talk to you.” 

“Please, Mary, i- i'll do anything just to get one minute with her i- i have to apologise i didn't mean it i swear, Mary please believe me you know i didn't mean it!” 

She narrowed her eyes and her mouth formed a sort of scowl. “Do you really expect me to believe you? Look at yourself, look at your friends. You're just as awful and cruel as them. Why should anyone ever believe you?” 

“Mary please. I wont leave here until I talk to her i- ill sleep on this fucking doorstep. Mary, I need to talk to her.” 

Mary turned around, and without another word closed the door. Snape slumped against the wall, his head in his hands and held back tears. Maybe two moments later, the door opened again. He half expected it to be one of the other prefects telling him to bugger off, or a student returning to their house, but when he looked up he saw the puffy tear stained eyes of lily Evans. 

“Lily,” he gasped, “Lily I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it–” his apology was rushed and she cut him off. Their words fought, going back and forth between im sorrys and i don't care . 

“I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here” she interjected, playing with the ribbon on her nightgown and sniffling. 

Snapes shoulders slumped, and his voice felt weak, “I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood , it just— ” he winced at himself for saying it again to her face. 

She scoffed at him without any emotion in her tone, “Slipped out? It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?” 

That had been a topic of many arguments over the last year. The rise of a dark wizard had everyone in school worried, and Lily was worried for Severus and his fascination with the dark arts, as she called it. Snape hadn't even thought about it. He heard his friends talk about the great things this dark wizard could have done, but he was not his friends. She was just putting him into the stereotype, and making him feel like everyone from all the others houses were — that he and all the Slytherins were bound to be evil. 

She sighed, and a few tears just escaped the corners of her eyes. “I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”

He choked down screams, wanting to grab her shoulders and shout until she believed him, but only sunk into himself more. “No—listen, I didn’t mean— ” 

She finished for him, “— to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” 

She was right, he had called many muggle born students Mudbloods and he couldn't think of an excuse if he tried. “ Please,” he begged, barely croaking out the words, but Lily turned away and disappeared behind the slammed portrait door, and Snape crumpled to the floor feeling every ounce of hope leave his body.

Chapter Text

After Lily stopped talking to him, Severus spent all his time with Mulciber and Avery, and a few slytherin boys from the other years. They practised spells late at night, moving their arrangement down to the common room instead of the fifth year boys bedroom, to get more space. He started studying the creation of spells too with his extra free time, now that exams were over. Severus even figured a charm out to soundproof the common room to anyone outside of it, so no one could hear what they were doing.

Mulciber and Avery were very impressed by his spellmanship, and made a plethora of suggestions for new spells to add, some which were sounding a bit dark in Severus’ opinion, but he tried anyway. During classes, since he didn't bother paying attention now that exams were finished, he scribbled little notes onto parchment, and kept them all together to compile into a list one day. He thought of his own name on the cover of a famous spellbook, like Bathilda Bagshot, everyone knew her name, someday maybe everyone would know his. Severus Snape, The Master of Spells.

He had also spent a great deal of time reading in the library, and without Lily, he was free to look at all the books she would scold him for, and even managed to sneak into the restricted section during the daytime for special items. Stealing during the day felt different than when he snuck in at night, he almost felt more guilty. But then again, every time he got away with it, it felt like a thrill.

He was a prefect, and since exams were done, the library was mostly empty, so it was far too easy for him to charm the lock open and slip in unnoticed. There was one topic in particular he couldn't take his focus away from, and it had been one Lily was extremely adamant about staying away from, and got very offended every time he brought it up.

Snape was highly interested in werewolves, and he had been obsessively studying their traits and characteristics, and all for one reason in particular.

He had the same suspicion for months now, and it was the only reason he paid the Gryffindor boys in his year any attention. Severus Snape almost entirely certain that there was something up with Remus Lupin, and his careful examinations of the restricted text only proved his theory further. Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

He mentioned the theory briefly to Lily a few times, and every time, she shut the rumors down quite quickly. She scolded him for it, saying he was ‘meddling in things that aren't meant to be meddled with’. He knew she knew something, but he was timid to press the matter, since it clearly struck a nerve. Before he lost her, he really did try his best to make her happy. A part of his heart still felt guilty every time he did something he knew she wouldn't approve of.

The books he read already gave him enough information to confront the Gryffindors. The disappearances at the full moon, the scars, spending loads of time in the hospital wing, Potter always covering for Lupin's prefect duties around the full moons. He just needed an opportunity to say it. “Remus Lupin, you're a werewolf and I know it.” Unfortunately, James Potter just had to go and set his plans back with their latest prank. Severus had endured enough embarrassment from Potter days before and didn't want to risk anything happening again, so he waited for an opportunity and hoped he would get lucky. Maybe he would even catch Remus alone and confront him.

That would be the best option, he had originally planned, but it was rare to catch the Gryffindors alone, especially Lupin. The others were always there with him, especially after a full moon, and especially Black. Severus knew better than to confront Lupin while Black was there, at least if he wanted to avoid being sent home covered in warts, or with his ears turned inside out permanently. He needed to find another way.

~

Severus had never thought of himself as a lucky person. If he had any luck at all, it didn't make itself very apparent in his life. He was always the one who ended up covered in something whenever a disaster struck. Usually that something was a potion, and despite him being an excellent potions student, and one of Professor Slughorn's favourites, Potter and Black usually found a way to mess things up for him, and often resulted in him leaving class dripping in some disgusting concoction of goo.

However, luck decided to knock on his door today. He was leaving the library late. It was almost curfew, and madam pince practically kicked him out this time. She said he spent too much time in there, and sent him on his way. Without a mountain of coursework to focus on, and the fact that it was Saturday, so this was recreational reading, specifically the history of untaught spells, which he snuck from the restricted section. It most likely wasn't the best idea for him to have it laying out for anyone to see, but he was desperate to read it, and the common room was too loud with end of year celebrations for him to concentrate.

He sulked as he left the peace of the library. The day had not been great overall, Mulciber was in a mood because of something Black said the day before in classes. He was a nightmare to be around whenever he was angry, throwing a tantrum in their dorm room, so Snape escaped to the library, not unlike most nights.

As he left, he saw the very reason for his avoidance of the dorm room. Well, not the reason, but the cause.

“Black.” he gritted out.

The next few minutes weren't very lucky at all actually. Snape was pushed around, but the luck that crossed him were the words Black said before leaving.

“The tree on the hill, the willow. There's a little knot at the bottom, and a passage in the bottom of the trunk.”

“Where does it lead?” Severus asked, fist tightening around his wand.

“You’ll see.”

~

As he reached the door to the outside of Hogwarts, he looked for Black, or any of the other Gryffindors but couldn't see anyone, so he headed down to the Whomping Willow, the large, and very aggressive tree on Hogwarts property. The tree was quite difficult to get around without being whacked or getting scratched up from the sharp branches, which is why students all stayed away from it, especially after the incident. A few students were playing games, trying to touch the trunk, and one almost got killed. Snape gulped as he ran for the tree and dogged as many flying branches as he could, getting scraped by a few along his cheek. He wondered if this was how Lupin ended up with all those scars, if this was the Gryffindors secret lair for planning pranks and he was the sacrifice to open up the tree. Once he reached the trunk of the tree, and was out of reach from its thrashing branches, he realised Black had told him the truth. About one thing at least.

There was a small entrance at the bottom of the tree trunk that wasn't visible unless you were standing right on it, big enough for a full grown person to crawl through. He looked around again, scanning the horizon, and the doors to the castle for anyone lurking, then lowered himself into the tunnel, and found it was much larger on the inside. Magically enlarged he assumed, it sounded like something Black or Potter would come up with to keep others out.

He was able to walk down the tunnel, feeling his hand along the cold walls, wondering how far underground he was. The walk was decently long, and he wasn't sure where it even led out to, until he came upon an old rotted door, with a boarded up window, and a rusted handle, and locks as big as his head. He pulled out his wand, approaching cautiously and listening for voices on the other side, but only heard silence.

He knew well enough that the locks wouldn't be able to be opened with just an ‘Alohomora’ so he dug deep in his brain for any other spell that might open the lock. He tried one of the unlocking spells he recalled from one of the books from the restricted section, but it didn't do anything. His mind resorted to the only option he could think of, took a few steps back, and spelled the locks to blow to pieces, blasting half the door off.

He gasped in horror when the dust cleared and he saw the other side. Remus Lupin, crumpled over on the ground, no clothes to hide the scars that befouled his body, scars that the world only ever got a glimpse of from his face. His whole torso was lined with claw marks, and his chest, from what Severus could see, was even worse.

Lupin was writhing in pain, screaming and crying out. His nails were digging into the floorboards, scratching and slowly digging deeper into the wood. Lupin didn't spot him, and Severus was too terrified to move, so he watched. He watched Lupin slowly morph into something Severus had only ever seen in drawings, textbooks or paintings, and it was more gruesome than he had imagined.

“SNAPE NO!” someone shouted from behind, out of breath but voice threatening and full of fear.

Severus turned around for a moment, and saw Potter running full speed at him, continuing to scream for him to leave and to get out. He didn't move, and turned to face the site of the transformation again. He let his guard down for just a moment as he turned back around, and what was Remus Lupin mere moments before, was now a werewolf, charging right at him.

He hesitated for a moment, and tried to run back down the tunnel, but tripped on a tree root and fell back onto the cold hard ground. Just in that moment, Potter leaped over top of him, and mid air had a transformation of his own that Snape could barely process. Potter morphed into a deer– no, a stag. The stag flung himself at the werewolf, tacking it to the ground as the wolf let out a bone chilling howl. As the stag tried to get to its feet again, the wolf was able to escape around it, and came charging at Snape again.

Severus screamed, and tried to move backwards, stumbling trying to get up, but the claws of the wolf caught his leg, and tore off the bottom half of his trousers. He could feel the sting of blood on the side of his right leg, and he bit his tongue from the pain.

“YOURE A FUCKING MONSTER LUPIN!” he shouted at the wolf, and the stag jumped over the beast and landed in between the two of them.

The werewolf paused, huffing and staring down the stag as a dark haired dog appeared behind both of them and started barking, trying to lure the werewolf away from him. The werewolf turned and pounced at the dog instead, flinging its massive arm and claws at it, and drawing a pool of blood onto the creaky wooden floor.

A split second later, the wolf went back to charging at Snape, who was still too in shock to move. The stag had transformed back into James Potter again, and fell to the floor next to him.

“You have to get out of here, now! Snape please, it's not safe, it’s–"James stopped midway and Snape watched the wolf tearing at Potter's shoulder as he screamed out in pain.

Snape felt all the air leave his lungs, and every nerve in his body freeze.

“Fuck…” Potter cursed, and turned his face momentarily to watch the werewolf turn away again and start to chase what looked to snape to be a small mouse. He was lucky, if he turned a moment earlier the wolf would have torn off his face.

James grabbed Snapes arm, and yanked him up, but Snape stumbled, unable to put weight on his bleeding leg. He looked at Snape's petrified face, speckled with both of their blood, and transformed back into the stag, scooping up Snape and darting down the tunnel.

“Potter you can’t–” Snape tried to protest, but they were already darting away from the werewolf. He looked back to see the wolf try to chase after them, but it was stopped by the dog that was only half its size. They both clawed at each other, drawing blood and howls until Snape was too far away that he couldn't hear or see what was happening anymore.

They made it to the edge of the tunnel, and Potter transformed back into his usual form, and flung Snape's arm around his shoulder, the one that wasn't bleeding out.

“You shouldn't have been here,” Potter coughed, and spat out blood onto the grass as he hurried across it. He took on most of Snape's body weight as they walked as fast as both their pain could manage through the crisp June night.

“I– I didn't– it was Black, he told me to, he told me to come! He said, ‘Come and see, everything you want to know, I'll show you everything’" Snape fired back, out of breath and clenching his fists as his leg sent burning sensations up his side, and chills throughout his body.

“He what?” Potter shouted in disbelief, “he wouldn't have, no, he– he knows better than that…” he stuttered, and remained silent until they got to the castle. He let Snape sit down on a windowsill once they were inside and whipped out a folded up piece of parchment from his back pocket.

Snape wondered how Potter managed to keep his clothes intact during his transformation, and peered over his shoulder to see what was on the parchment. Floating names, and corridors, it was a map. Potter had a map of Hogwarts.

“We've got to go the long way, the Prefects are doing patrols that way, we can't let them see you, or either of us, no one can, not like this.” he spoke quickly, shoving the parchment, map, or whatever it really was, into his back pocket again, and grabbed Snape's arm to hoist him to his feet.

“No! I'm not going anywhere with you, i dont fucking trust any of you! I’ll sit here and bleed out i–”

Potter scoffed, and dragged snape down a dark corridor as he fought him, “I don't have time to argue with you, we’ve got to get you to Madam Pomfrey, this isn't just a cut Snape, it could– well i don't know what it could do, but she has to look at it, she needs to know what's going on, Moony’s not safe, the tunnels unlocked it’s all fucked, everythings fucked–” he continued to curse under his breath after that.

Snape wanted to say something about everyone not being safe around Remus, but figured it probably wasn't the best time. He tried to hide how much it hurt every time they took a step. He wouldn't admit how much he needed to see Madam Pomfrey, he wouldn't give Potter the satisfaction, but he let Potter guide him to the hospital wing anyways.

James sighed, then began to mutter something about Black and Pettigrew that Severus felt he probably shouldn't listen to, and was too tired and in pain to even try to comprehend what was said.

“Won't she be asleep?” Snape asked quietly as they stumbled down the hall together.

Potter shook his head, “No, she can never sleep on nights like this.”

They got to the hospital wing soon after, and James walked right in. Madam Pomfrey was standing in the centre of the room folding blankets, but dropped them all and shrieked when she saw the sight of them both.

“What is the meaning of this, I– what happened? Potter?” she cried, leading Snape to a bed to lay down and began examining his leg, and summoning potions from her store room.

James collapsed onto the bed next to Snape, and wiped his shirt sleeve across his lips, smearing the blood in attempts to wipe it off. “It's Remus, madam, he’s- well, you know… and, and Sniv-” he paused and took a breath, “and Snape here, he… well I don't know how he found out, but he ended up at the tunnel, he saw it, Madam, everything.”

“It was Black!” Snape cried out again to defend himself, “he told me to go, he–”

“Enough Mr Snape, I need to work,” she scolded him, and poured a clear liquid into a bowl, dipped a cloth in it, and started to clean his leg with it.

It stung, and Snape winced even more, gripping the bed sheets and pressing his head against the frame to try and distract himself, to feel pain anywhere else.

“I'm so sorry Madam,” James whispered, “Snape i– im sorry.”

Severus was disoriented, but he heard Potter's words loud and clear. He tilted his head over, clenching his jaw as the nurse continued to work on his leg. He didn't say anything, but his expression turned from anger to confusion, and hurt. He never thought Potter would ever be capable of apologising to anyone, especially not him. Not after all those years of torment and suffering. It took a werewolf attack for him to have some decency.

James cleared his throat as Snape still did not reply, looking down at his feet, and feeling around his shoulder for where his own cut lay.

Snape stayed silent, shutting his eyes while Madam pomfrey finished mending up the cut. He heard her quietly gasp even more when she saw what the werewolf left on James shoulder and back, and ordered him immediately to remove his torn up shirt so she could mend it.

“I'm fine, Madam, I have to go back for–” he paused, and a flash of hurt took over his face “Please Madam, is he okay? And we have to help remus, he’s–”

“Potter, you know there's nothing we can do, I'll be there as soon as the sun rises, but not before, you know it would put everyone in danger. Now lie down while I mend you up, hush.” she whispered, and James let his body fall on the bed. Madam pomfrey glanced over to Snape, who had his eyes squinted, appearing to be asleep, but still hearing everything.

He listened to the sound of James’ hard breath, and his shallow groan of pain whenever Madam Pomfrey touched the cut. Potter was facing the other direction, and he would have given anything to see it, to see him cry. To see him feel guilty for once in his life.

Severus started up at the tall ceilings of the wing, relaying the image in his mind of Remus Lupin laying there on the ground, the transformation, and the memory of the werewolf tearing the black dog to pieces. He didn't feel guilt, all he felt was anger towards Black, and anger that Potter had to be the one to save him.

He could still taste the blood in his mouth, and feel the weight of the werewolves claws digging into his skin. He could hear the cries of its howling, and the screams from Potter running to stop him, everything was playing in his mind on loop, and it hurt his head to think about it.

Lupin, Potter, Black, Pettigrew, a werewolf, and three animals in the old room. Potter, the stag, and as he thought more he realised it must have been Sirius who was the dog. Fucking stupid name, he thought to himself, Sirius Black, the black dog, the dog star, it was almost funny how ironic it was. If he wasn't in so much pain he might have laughed. The mouse must have been Pettigrew, he figured, that was the only one left.

And after all, Black was right, he knew everything he wanted to know.

Chapter Text

Chapter three ~ Life Debt

There was a shift in the atmosphere, you could tell without even knowing what was going on. You could walk in as a stranger and say ‘something's gone wrong’ without a clue why . The whole of Gryffindor house knew by this point. Whenever anything with the Marauders—as they named themselves—happened, it spread around quickly. A lot of the time just from their own bragging, boasting about their latest prank, often ratting themselves out by accident. It wasn't a very smart way to go about things, they ended up in detention most of the time, which seemed counter productive to Snape. Why not just enjoy the victory in silence and get away with it?

This time there was no bragging. It was scolding whispers and fear, darting eyes and mistrust. 

There were three different versions of a dozen different stories going around, none of them true of course. Only Severus, James, Remus, and Sirius knew what actually happened, and what really was in the shrieking shack. The rest thought it was just a prank Sirius planted there to tease Snape, throw him around for fun, and let him go with a little less pride than before. Now, judging by the spread of fear, the school was slowly finding out closer to what happened. Everyone was on edge, looking for answers in eyes and wondering who knew what. 

The hall was a great deal quieter than normal, and it was almost eerie to listen to it. There was no loud laughter, or polite conversations, it was just whispers. The thing about whispers though, if there's enough of them, they can become overpowering. Severus scanned the Gryffindor table for the four usual suspects contributing the most noise, and found only three. Separated for the first time that Severus could really recall in all the years at Hogwarts. 

Sirius was sat by himself at the back end of the table, two second years sat nearby, trembling in the seats, stealing glances at him. Everyone was trembling when they looked at Sirius by now. 

Did he really try to kill someone? 

The thought going through everyone's mind, burning the tips of their tongue, clawing at the back of their throats so desperate to ask, but terrified to face Sirius Black and ever say the words out loud. 

The other two were sat together in the middle of the long table, in their usual spot. James was staring down at his empty plate, and Peter, who was usually on his third slice of toast by now, hadn't touched anything either. A fourth face stood out to Severus amongst the whispering Gryffindors, although she always stood out to him in a crowd. 

Lily was sitting a couple seats away from the two Gryffindor boys, her face petrified, and slightly teary. Severus stared at her for a great deal of time. She had no involvement in the prank, not that he knew of anyways. He wondered how much she knew, really. She was always determined to keep him away from the subject of werewolves or Lupin whenever he came questioning. She was bound to know by now he was right. Lily was smart, smarter than himself a lot of the time, although he wouldn't ever admit it out loud. She would have worked it out by herself. Maybe all these years she just didn't want to know so it wouldn't become real. 

She glanced his way, while he was deep in this thought. A quick flutter of eyelashes, and then darting away. A moment later, as if she could hear the words Severus' heart was screaming, she looked back at him. This time, with intent, not just a caught glance. 

Look at me, just look at me, pay attention. Pay attention to me, listen to me. Look at me. 

Their eyes were locked, and the whispers melted away as Severus got to take in everything that is her , really, for the first time since the last. The last time she spoke to him. Her eyes almost held a look of pity, but he refused to convince himself that it was genuine. She despised him, and he knew it. Her chin tilted up a bit, blinking back a tear, but it fell anyway. Tears are often the greatest traitors in a facade.  

Severus pursed his lips. I told you it was true, his mind shouted, but his mouth remained shut. I told you what he was, he’s a monster. He titled his head to the side a bit, wishing she could read his mind, and praying that she couldn't all at once. If only you listened, I could have ended up dead. 

She turned away, and Severus’ breath hitched, and he yawned. It had been a long night for many reasons. One being almost dying, two being his inability to sleep after almost being murdered by a werewolf, and three, being the three separate talks he had with Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madam Pomfrey that lasted pretty much all night. 

He didn't stick around for when they brought Remus in from the shack. He frankly didn't care if he was dead or alive by that point. He had been through enough not to care. In the end it wasn't the running, or the fear or the attack that took a toll, but the hours of interrogation were the largest contributor to his lack of sleep. 

After James dragged him out of the shack and to the hospital, it went like so: 

Madam Pomfrey made a fuss over him. She asked what happened, what he remembered. He remembered all of it, every second was burned into his mind. She treated him, asking questions as she worked. He hated answering them. Who was she, a nurse, to be asking him these kinds of questions. 

Just as he was about to voice his grievances with the witch, professor McGonagall walked in. She sent madam Pomfrey away once Severus was done needing tending to. Behind closed curtains, a privacy charm set to make him open up more, she asked him similar questions. 

“How did you know about Mr Lupin?” 

“I didn't. I figured it out, never had any proof. Tonight gave me proof.” 

“Why did you go to the shack in the first place? You claim Mr Black told you the information, but no one forced you there.” 

“No, it was my choice. I went on my own.” 

“And why did you?” 

“I don't know.” 

“Well that's kind of an important piece of information, Mr Snape–” 

“You're not my head of house, why are you sitting here interrogating me and not Slughorn?” 

“This is an intense matter, and you must understand that Mr Lupin's privacy is important in this too.” 

“Why does it matter, once people find out what he did– what he is. He's going to be expelled.” 

“And how will people find out, Mr Snape?” 

“People talk. I'll talk.” 

“That's what I was afraid of.” 

“Afraid of?” 

“That you would make this difficult. I think you and I both know you aren't going to say anything.” 

“I would. He tried to kill me, don't think I won’t tell people. You're stupid if you do. I'd be protecting them, the school, your students, your staff. Do you think if any of them knew you had a monster running lose int he castle they would be fucking okay with it?” 

“Alright, Mr Snape.” 

She stood up, and Severus alone behind the curtains. He stared at the spot she left through, wanting to burn a hole in the fabric with his eyes. 

“Professor Dumbledore will be seeing you now.” 

He didn't argue this time. 

Dumbledore was pacing. Severus noticed he did that quite often. He hadn't been in Dumbledore's office that many times, but the few he had, he walked in on the man pacing. It was like a hobby, or a ritual, Severus put together. You spend so long doing something it had to be significant. 

Severus spent so long believing that Lupin was a monster, and he is. He spent so long trying to plead with Lily to see what he saw, and he lost her. Both things were significant, both killed him in a way, yet still, he walked into the old man's office, with his life still in his hands. 

“I won't pretend like the events of tonight have been particularly easy on anyone, Mr Snape. Everyone involved has suffered, including yourself, but I will not let that overshadow the intensity of what has happened. Your actions could have caused a lot more damage if things had gone any differently. The damage they caused is–” 

“ My actions?” Snape spat at him, pushing up from the chair he was told to sit in. Dumbledore was still pacing, his back turned to him. “ You're the one keeping that– that monster lose in a school!” 

“Mr Lupin.” Dumbledore corrected, turning to face Severus, who had gone red with fury. “I believe the person you meant to refer to was, Mr Lupin. A student, just like yourself. A student given an opportunity here at Hogwarts. Not a monster.” 

Snape genuinely contemplated punching him in the face. Or storming out. Or both, the punching first, then storming out. He did neither. “I don't get how you can't see how dangerous that is.” 

Dumbledore raised one eyebrow, “and I don't understand how you aren't seeing the risk you put Mr Lupin under tonight. We thankfully don't know what would have happened if you had come fully in contact with him while the transformation was going on.” 

This was all ridiculous, in his opinion. If he had gone into the shack fully, Lupin would have hurt him. Lupin would have torn him to shreds. Lupin would have bit him. Lupin would have… 

“I was only there because Black told me to,” he scowled, and the professor finally turned to look at him. “He told me to go to the shack, so I did.” 

Dumbledore sighed, and shuffled over to his desk to retrieve a stack of papers, briefly looking over them before he met Severus' eye. “Ive received accounts of the night from Mr Black prior to our conversation. It is only fair for you to describe what exactly happened from your perspective.” 

Snape felt his blood go cold. Yes, he did make the choice to go to the shack, and yes it was Black who had told him where to go and how to get in, but he wasn't entirely clear from blame. He was the one who cornered Black in the corridor. Black had been mouthing off earlier in class, saying something about one of Snape's friends. Well, he wasn't sure if he and mulciber were actually friends, or just classmates who stuck together for the sake of strength in numbers. It took everything in Snape not to hex Black that very moment, but he waited for later when he could get him alone. Alone away from James Potter, who would jump to his rescue immediately. James Potter, who had a track record of generally winning whenever there was a fight between Snape and him. So yes, Snape cornered Sirius, taunted him, but it was Sirius' choice to give the information away. He didn't force it out of him, not really anyway. 

“You should really learn to keep your filthy fucking mouth shut, Black. Where are those manners Mommy taught you… All those years in your perfect pureblood family would have taught you a lesson, don't you think?” Snape had teased him, jabbing his wand in the boy's neck. 

Sirius swallowed, tensing up at the mention of his family. It was well known they were on the outs, half the school had witnessed the last howler sent to him. It screamed on for five bloody minutes until Lupin stepped in and blew the thing up. As much as he didn't like him, his headache thanked Lupin for finally shutting that thing up. Howlers were overkill in Snape's opinion, if you really want to scream at someone, do it to their face, and don't force everyone else to have to listen to your family squabbles. 

“Dont fucking talk to me, Snivellus .” He fired back, kicking snape in the shin and shoving him off the moment he faltered. 

Snape recovered quickly though, firing a spell at black before he could get away. The boy fell to the ground, legs and arms locked so he couldn't fight this time. “They never learn… Oscausi!” he shouted, and Black's mouth, about to start arguing again, sealed itself shut. 

Sirius squirmed in place, as much as he could with the binding jinx on him. His face was turning bright red, eyes glazing over like he forgot he could breath out of his nose. 

“The world would be much easier if people like you learned how to shut up. You know, I bet your family wishes you would. Wishes you would learn to hold your tongue and just listen for once. Maybe I should give them a call and recommend this method, it seems to be working.” 

Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed, and he attempted to shake his whole body up in an attempt to headbutt Snape. It didn't work, Snape dodged out of the way and slammed the boy back down with his arm. 

“Im surprised your friends aren't sick of you too. Always talk, talk, talk, never listen. But now, listen to me Black, not that you have a choice… if you ever speak about my friends like that again, you'll get much worse than this coming to you.” 

Since Severus still wasn't a master in the hex, the lip biding spell started to wear off. Sirius was able to pry his mouth back open, and spat in Snape's face once he did. “Does Evans know you're here defending those creeps? I don't think she’d be very happy about that, would she?” 

“Dont you–” he started, but couldn't find the will to finish the sentence. It was the best leverage anyone had over him. Lily Evans. 

Sirius knew he had an upper hand, and being the cocky Gryffindor he was, he used it. “Oh right, she isn't talking to you, is she? Finally got some sense to stay away from people like you.” 

“You know what, why don't I just give you a taste of what's going to happen to you… you can find out right now, Black.” 

“You wouldn't." he taunted, arms wriggling free of the body bind jinx as Snape's magic concentration moved elsewhere. “You won't touch me, because she wouldn't want you to. Isn't that right? Lily Evans, she never did like this side of you. It seems like a much bigger part now that she's left you behind. I bet she saw who you really are.” 

He thought about it for a moment, using an unforgivable, but there were methods to track that sort of thing, and Snape didn't really fancy going to Azkaban for Sirius Black. There were other spells though, ones that could be detected if they checked his wand, but not necessarily deciphered. Mulciber had taught him that. If you bent the parameters of spells, changed their wording or flourishes, the intent, you could make them unrecognisable. It took some practice to get the technique down right. 

He had come as close to begging as his dignity would allow when he saw Mulciber do it the first time. It was on a halfblood, one of the Gryffindors that Lily was friends with. He hexed her, it was nasty, but when the school checked his wand, they didn't find a thing. The girl was furious, so was Lily. She tried to get Severus to force Mulciber to admit to it, but Snape wouldn't rat his friend, or whatever it was, out. In the end, it came down to the girl's word against Mulcibers. Mulciber's family had enough power in the wizarding world that the school let it drop, and the girl's parents stopped threatening to get the Aurors involved. 

So Snape settled on a different curse, a forgivable one, flicking his wrist and warping the magic as he cast it. Black started writing on the floor, mouth open like he was screaming, but the pain wouldn't let a sound come out. 

“Stop it,” Sirius gritted out after about forty seconds under the spell. Snape released the hold he had on black, and the boys writhing ceased. He lay lifeless on the cold Hogwarts floor for a moment before he sprung up. He didn't even hear Black catch his breath. He slammed Severus into a wall, forearm against his throat, wand pointing in his cheek. 

“What are you going to do, Black?” he sneered, jutting his chin up to push the wand away from his face. “Blast my face off? Hard to explain that one to Mummy and Daddy. I don't think they tolerate you enough to let that one go.” 

There was a pause. The kind of pause that happens when something bad is going to follow it. 

“Oh I'm not going to do anything…” Sirius said after pondering. “Im not going to touch you, Snape.” he said in a way that almost made Severus start to fear. “But trust me you’ll get what's coming to you.” 

“Pathetic,” he spat, starting to turn on his heel until Sirius grabbed him by his shoulder. 

“The tree on the hill, the willow. There's a little knot at the bottom, and a passage in the bottom of the trunk.” was all he said before letting go and walking away. “Come and see, everything you want to know. I'll show you everything.” 

“Where does it lead?” Severus called out, wary it was a setup. It probably was, but he was intrigued now. 

“You'll see,” Sirius called over his shoulder and turned the corner. 

“Black came across me in the corridor. I was returning from prefect stuff, checking in with one of the others to make sure the schedule was right.” he lied so easily, the rubbish spilled from his mouth without a crack, natural, like a river. 

Dumbledore nodded tentatively. “And he walked up to you and just gave away the instructions to get in?” 

“No I–” he couldn't say he taunted black first. Well he could, and that would just get him in more trouble than he’s already in. They could check his wand, but how much trouble could he get into for a body binding hex, and a lip locker jinx, really. That was so trivial in times like these.The world was moving to darker spells, darker times. They wouldnt find the spell he used to torture Black, it was warped and untraceable. “He started insulting Mulciber. Saying stuff about him, about his family. He shoved me against the wall and told me he wasn't going to do anything. He just gave me the instruction on how to stop the tree from attacking you, and said there was a pathway. He said he’d show me what I wanted to know." That was true, partially. 

“And you did not know what was beyond the tree?” Dumbledore promoted, a quill scratching across a roll of parchment by itself, likely a direct line of the old man's thoughts. Analyzing every blink and flex in Snape's jaw, picking apart every word he spoke. 

“I had my suspicions.” he blurted out without thinking, but there wasn't any taking it back now. “Im not the only one. It's obvious to anyone with half a brain that Lupin's sick every month. I worked out what was up in the sky on those nights myself. Black didn't tell me anything. I already knew.” 

“So you decided to see for yourself what you already knew? You were certain Mr Lupin was a werewolf?” 

“Well no i–,” he wanted the easy flow of lies to come back, but the river seemed to dry up. “I didn't know for certain, no. But I didn't know what exactly was past the tree either. I didn't think Black would give up Lupin that easily.” 

Lie, it hadn't been easy. He tortured him. 

“I see. So, curiosity then?” 

He had conversations with Lily often, in his head. There was a muggle belief that everyone had a guardian angel, or an angel on their shoulder telling them when to do the right thing, or when to give into the temptations of the wrong thing. Lily had told him that once. It was Christmas after their first year. Both of them had returned home, and met up on a cold evening during the break, finally getting a moment away after spending the holidays with their respective families. He tried to take a step out onto the frozen pond they always met at, but Lily had stopped him. She said it was a bad idea. 

“Why? It's frozen, clearly. It's cold enough to walk on, I promise.” 

“I just have a bad feeling about it,” she pleaded, tugging his arm to get him back onto the snow. “The angel on my shoulder advised against it.” 

“Angel on your shoulder?” Severus scoffed, but followed her anyway. Back then he would have done anything she asked of him. “Is that a muggle thing?” his lips curled in annoyance. 

She rolled her eyes. Even then, he still slipped up sometimes, asking things in the wrong tone. She wouldn't scold him every time, that didn't happen until they were older. “It's something my mum says. She says everyone's got an angel and a devil on their shoulder. Someone from heaven to guide you, and someone to tempt you down the wrong path.” 

“Ah, I see,” Severus had said, not knowing how else to indulge in the explanation. The wizarding world wasn't big on religion, not like the muggles. For some of them, that Severus had seen, they based their life around religion. God, heaven, angels on their shoulders. He never saw the point in it. Magic went far beyond the limits of religion. It defied its existence really. His father was a muggle, but he wasn't religious. His mother, a witch, wasn't either. His parents got married in a chapel, and that was the only time his mum ever stepped foot in one of those. Severus had never been in one. 

“So this angel on your shoulder, what else does she tell you?” he asked her, laying on his side in the freezing snow, his cloak damp from the ground, but he didn't care. He watched her, fascinated by anything she had to say. It didn't matter that he didn't believe in it, it was Lily telling the story, so he listened to every word. 

“Maybe you need an angel on your shoulder to keep you out of trouble.” 

“You’ll have to let me borrow yours sometime.” he had said. 

You'll have to teach me how to be good like you, he meant. 

He pictured her as he walked through the castle that night. He debated going back to his dorm room and forgetting it all happened. It was likely another one of their pranks, and once he walked through the door some charm would turn his robes into a dress and put tacky makeup and blush on his face. Black and Potter would laugh, so would whoever was gathered to watch the spectacle that is Severus Snape. 

“It's probably a bad idea, Sev,” the Lily on his shoulder told him. “Youre going to get made a fool of.” 

He rolled his eyes at her, “maybe it's not.” He wasn't walking towards the doors to the grounds, but he took note of the corridors he could take that would lead him there. 

It's an important distinction to make that the Lily on his shoulder is a representative of first through third year Lily Evans. Before she grew to despise the Gryffindor boys less. 

“I bet Black and Potter have something awful planned. They always have something awful planned, Sev. Don't go. You'll regret it if you do.” 

Somewhere on the walk he realised what night it was. The full moon. He stopped in the middle of the corridor, putting the pieces together. Black had said he wasn't going to touch Snape, said he would get what he deserved, see what he wanted to see, then gave him directions to a mystery. It was like the muggle game shows Lily showed him on the telly the one time he was inside her house. They had to guess what was behind the mystery door, and if they got it, they won a prize. 

He had been telling her what was going on behind closed doors for years. He knew what Lupin was, it was obvious. Fourth year Lily refused to see it, so did fifth year Lily. Severus wondered if he had figured it out in first year if she would have believed him. She trusted him more back then. He wondered if first year lily had told him to stop looking, he would have. He did what she told him to more back then. 

Severus wasn't sure if it was to spite the Lily Evans he knew now, or to prove the Lily Evans on his shoulder wrong, but he changed his course and headed for the tree. He couldn't go about the rest of his life without knowing for certain. He had to hold it over her head that he was right. 

“I won't regret it.” he muttered, but the Lily on his shoulder had already gone. 

“Curiosity,” he repeated, pulling himself out of the memories that lined the inside of his head like wallpaper, and back into Dumbledore's office. “Yes.” 

“So you made the decision to go, the conscious choice to look where you know you probably shouldn't have, just to fulfil your curiosity?” 

It sounded like something the Lily on his shoulder would say. “Yes.” 

“You decided to walk into that shack, not only putting yourself in harm's way, but another student.” 

He snorted, trying his best to remain composed, but the situation was starting to become hilarious. He wondered if Dumbledore was dropped on his head as a child, maybe that would explain why he needed things repeated so many times. “I highly doubt anything would have happened to precious fucking Remus Lupin.” 

If Dumbledore cared that Snape was cursing at him, he didn't show it in his face. “I was talking about Mr Potter, actually. In case you forget, he is the sole reason you're alive today.” 

Okay, maybe Snape would punch him in the face. Potter wasn't the reason he was alive. He could have fought off the werewolf if he tried. He had his wand, he could jinx the thing, or downright kill it. One of the boys who practiced late at night in the common room had told him about the spell. Neither of them performed it, but his father, a ministry official, knew a lot about it. Snape didn't know why a parent would educate their child so thoroughly on such a dark spell, but Crouch explained it to Snape like it was second nature to him. 

He knew the spell, the words, the movement, the intent that needed to go behind it. The unforgivables weren't able to be warped. Mulcibler told him that when he first started teaching him. He wasn't sure if it was out of practice that Mulciber found that out, but he tried not to think about it. 

Still, he could have taken the werewolf. Potter got in the way. Potter got him hurt. Potter got himself hurt too, and just made everything worse. 

“No matter what you believe,” Dumbledore whispered like it was a secret, like he was reading Serverus' mind, “you would be dead without him. You wouldn't have been able to protect yourself. It is a miracle that Mr Potter is alive as well as yourself.” 

Maybe he was right, Severus thought, and felt the disgust set in as he realised what actually just went through his mind. He hated proving Dumbledore right. If it came down to it, Severus didn't think he would have been able to kill him. Physically fighting the werewolf off wasn't on the table either. He tried to fight James Potter once, but that ended with him being shoved easily into the lake, and a nasty bruise on his cheekbone. 

His hands were halfway to fists when Dumbledore spoke again, and Severus felt the words like a punch to his own gut. 

“You are in his debt, Mr Snape. The highest debt of all. You owe Mr Potter the debt of life.” 

~ 

He didn't know how it went for Black or Potter. if they got interrogated like he did, if Dumbledore spoke to them too, or just McGonagall. He felt sick thinking they had exchanged notes on the situation, referring and comparing to see who was at fault. He wasn't told things by anyone since he didn't want to cooperate. He brought it on himself really, but he couldn't help snapping at everyone. The Lily on his shoulder would be ashamed. 

His parents arrived that afternoon. A letter was sent out around three in the morning, and Dumbledore called his mother through the floo network around breakfast time to encourage the severity. She showed up alone, and Snape was brought into Dumbledore's office again. 

This time, the man wasn't pacing. 

There were four chairs, each a student sitting in them, and behind them, their guardians stood. It made Severus sick how Potter had immediately fallen into his mum's arms when she arrived. Lupin's mother and father showed up, quiet like they were mourning what could have happened. Black's parents never showed. 

“I take responsibility for him,” Mrs Potter announced after Dumbledore decided he was done waiting. “He is as much my son as James is.” 

“Effie,” black had whispered, tears in his eyes and his voice raw. 

Pathetic, Severus thought. Then he caught a look of Potter's face. Potter was angry. He was barely looking at Black, hadn't the entire time they waited. Now at his mothers claim of black as her second son, he gave Black a cold glare. 

Severus would like to say he didn't pay much attention to the Marauders, but it was hard not to sometimes. Black and Potter were the closest friends the world had known, disgusting as it was to admit. He had never seen a look like that cross Potter's face ever, didn't even know that smug smile was capable of morphing into such anger, especially not towards his best friend. 

“Well can we get started then?” his own mother hissed impatiently. 

The meeting made Severus’ skin crawl. He hated being locked up with these people. With a monster. He wanted to scream at all of them to get some sense, and look at the thing in front of them. He’ll kill you all some day, he wanted to say, but didn't. 

The story was recounted. Black left out the part where Snape taunted him first. He didn't know what Black told Dumbledore in private, but maybe he got some sense and realised he couldn't win against him. It would happen just like it did with that MacDonald girl. It didn't matter that his family had power, more than Snapes. Black's family wasn't here, and he had a feeling his mother wouldn't let anything go if it wasn't going in the direction she wanted. 

In the end, Severus was given two months of detentions, Black was given five. Black was also booted from the quidditch team, banned from Hogsmead until further notice, and on a strict curfew for the rest of the year. He would go to meals, class, and return to his dorm room. Snape was surprised they let him stay in that room, in all honesty. Surprised Potter would let him around Lupin at all, at least from the look he gave Black before the meeting started. That wasn't a look of tolerance, that was a look that said you're dead to me. 

Severus’ mother had tried to get more punishment for Black, and get Lupin expelled, but Dumbledore wouldn't have it. The argument got heated between the two until Remus' mother stepped in. 

“We can withdraw Remus from Hogwarts,” she announced. Not her husband, which Snape found odd, since he knew Lupin's mother was a muggle. His father hadn't done much talking during the whole ordeal to be honest. Lupin didn't react. His face remained the same this entire time, frozen, pained, fearful, hurt, lifeless. 

“No!” Potter shouted, standing up from his chair. He started to scream at Snape's mother, practically crying until his own mother pulled him pack, forcing him to sit down again. She pleaded with Dumbledore, and Lupin's mother against that. Because James Potter always gets what he wants, Lupin got to stay. 

They resolved everything between Black and Severus. Punishments had been decided, James had given his account of it all, and Lupin sat silently. Eventually, Dumbledore sent the Lupins and the Potters out, who took Sirius with them. He was told to stay. 

He was left with Dumbledore and his mother. “Mr Snape, I'm going to need your cooperation for the conversation that follows.” 

“Fine,” he spat, not looking up at the old man. He felt his mothers hand squeeze his shoulder. It wasn't in a loving way, her nails dug in deep, warning him to behave. 

“You will need to swear secrecy. This is a matter that could warrant ministry involvement. Thankfully the Lupins have decided not to go that route, and let the school handle things. This is my school, Mr Snape, and so you will be required to promise not to share the details of Mr Lupin's condition to anyone. If you do, there will be consequences much more severe than detention. Do you understand?” 

“Yes.” 

He swore, and the words tasted bitter coming out of his mouth. 

Dumbledore sent them on their way. His mother went first, already out of the room by the time Severus reached the door. 

“Oh, Mr Snape?” 

He turned around, facing the old man who had gone back to pacing. “Yes, Professor?” he gritted out. 

“Do remember what I said earlier. Life is a precious thing,” he said wistfully. “Yours now comes with a debt.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“Remember that.” he spoke with a saddening look in his eyes. 

“Yes sir.” he said and closed the door.