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You are a Semibot. 

You do not have a name, and you do not know where you came from, but you do know what your purpose is. 

As you sit in the back of a truck, rocking back and forth, you stare out of the window. You are on track to the training facility. 

You are part of the Retrieve, Extract, Profit Operation, or REPO for short. You are one of hundreds of identical robots given life to scour the world for valuables.

You simply must do your job. And at this training facility, you will learn how to do it. 

*

The life of a Semibot is not an easy one, you gather. 

In the training facility, your mission is laid bare; bring items to extraction points, hide from… something, and survive long enough to do it again. 

On the walls of the facility are various warning signs, suggesting that if you are to begin acting oddly, that the building be evacuated or you be shut down. But, as you walk through the tutorial, you only find skeletons. 

No living thing to evacuate. And either which way, you are unsure of what odd behaviour would be out of a robot. 

A haunting laughing emoji insignia stares back at you as you correctly demonstrate a tumble launch, and you can’t help but be ever so slightly unnerved. 

You weren’t programmed with a wide range of emotions, you figure. However, the more time you spend ‘alive’, the more you find your range grows. 

Apathy becomes confusion. Confusion becomes frustration. Frustration becomes understanding. It is nothing intense, really, but it’s enough that you notice. 

The emoji, displayed on a screen, almost seems to break its neck as the wall lifts, allowing you to progress to the next area. 

You don’t know what the significance of the imagery is, if there is any at all. All you know is that your training will soon be over, and you will be put to work. 

When it is complete, you are led back to a truck much like the one that you had arrived in. The silence is deafening, but you step onto it without much of a thought, turning over your shoulder once inside to better survey your new temporary home. 

A screen hangs down from the ceiling, open to a chat log. 

Though not a taught skill, you are inclined to reach out and grab the lower section of the screen, latching onto it the same way that you grabbed objects in the training. You think of your message, and it appears on the screen through emojis, expressing that you are ready to leave. 

Moments later, another name appears in the chat, typing for a brief moment. 

“Taxman” sends a thumbs up. 

Suddenly, the door to the training facility slams shut, and the engine starts. 

And so begins your journey. 

*

An undefined amount of time into your journey, the truck stops. The door opens, and suddenly, you are not alone. 

A second Semibot, a rusty red color, joins you in the truck. It looks you up and down, and then it speaks . “Are you new?” 

It’s voice comes as almost a whisper, mechanical and dry. You simply nod, because you are not sure you can return the speech just yet. 

The Semibot sits down next to you on the bench, looking you up and down with curiosity. “My team was taken out. Taxman reassigned me to yours.” 

You don’t understand, so you tilt your head. Taken out? By what? 

The Semibot does not catch onto your confusion, simply kicking back and relaxing, as if it had done this whole song and dance before. “This is my second mission. It’s not as hard as the Taxman makes it sound.” 

You assume it is talking about your job. You nod, again. 

The door slams shut again, and you are off once more. 

“Do you have a name?” It asks. 

You shake your head. You are just a Semibot, just like all the rest. But this other one, it seems to have a much more lively personality than you. Perhaps it is something you will gain?

“My name is Rusty,” It says. “You should pick one.” 

You don’t know how to express your doubt that you would be able to, but Rusty seems to understand. 

“You can talk, y’know,” It attempts to coax, sounding hopeful. 

You shake your head. You don’t know how to. Not yet. 

*

The truck comes to a screeching halt, smashing into a wall. It startles you and Rusty, and the Taxman sends you a cryptic message in emoticons, ending with a kissy face and a heart.

…Okay?

You were unaware that your creator held any sort of affection for its creations. Assuming that this “Taxman” is the one who brought you (and presumably Rusty) into reality. 

Inside of the broken wall is a platform, the ‘extract’ point that you had been shown in the training. A cart sits inside of it, again, as shown in training, and beyond it is a wooden door leading to your first location. 

You and Rusty exchange a look, then march forward into your first location. Woefully unprepared. 

Inside is a dark, musty manor. It is clear that no one has lived here in at least a decade, most likely more. It seems that whoever did live here left in a hurry, overturned furniture and broken glass scattered about. 

Rusty has taken the cart, so you begin to fill it. Vases, stacks of cash, a clown doll with a squishy looking nose. 

You find a bottle of champagne, and unfortunately, on your way to the cart, you bump into the wall. Your coordination is not yet perfected, after all, you are still quite new, and it shatters into fine pieces. 

You half expect the world to come caving in. But, nothing happens. The wooden floorboards continue to creak. Rusty continues to narrate. And you continue to collect. 

“Our quota is only 8k,” Rusty rambles, removing a diamond from the top shelf with careful precision. “We can be in and out quickly.” 

You stray further afield, searching for additional items. If the number on your cart was true, then you were over the quota. But, if you were to perhaps collect extra, would it be returned to you? Perhaps you would earn favor from the Taxman?

And if it did nothing at all, that was okay too. But there was only one way to find out. 

During this venture, you encounter the concept of pain for the first time. 

A strange gaggle of garden gnomes approaches you as you carry a pocket watch. One draws its pickaxe, and hits you. 

It’s sudden, and it startles you. You gasp, dropping the pocket watch and running away, processing the jolt that just went through your very being. 

You’re spooked. Reasonably so. 

Unfortunately, as you run to Rusty for reassurance, it is nowhere to be found. 

You stand in the living room, your stamina meter crawling back up to full. You want to know where your buddy went. It was more experienced than you, if only just a little. 

You spot it hiding under a chair, looking as afraid as you feel, and it whispers to you. “Run!” 

You don’t understand, until a massive floating head turns a corner, and spots you. 

At that moment, you are introduced to a new emotion; panic. 

You turn tail and run as fast as you can physically manage, bolting as this head gnashes its teeth at you. This, most likely, was what you were trained to hide from. And likely what took out Rusty’s previous team. 

You run until you can’t run anymore, mechanical joints groaning in protest. You duck under a table in the kitchen, making yourself as small as you can manage. The head speeds on past, unaware that you have hidden, and the gnomes follow suit. 

Moments later, you hear the extraction point slam shut, and the lights go out. 

Your mission is complete. It is time to head back to the truck. 

You wish that you and Rusty weren’t the only ones on the team. You are scared, and confused. What was that head? Why did it hurt to be hit? 

You decide to ponder these questions later, bolting back the way you came and making it to the truck moments later.

Rusty sees you, and sends the message that you are ready to go to the Taxman. You then both hide under the bench as the engine flares to life, finally safe behind the doors as they slam shut and you peel off down the road, off to your next location. 

Once you are safe, you crawl out from under and turn to Rusty.

You want to say something, but you can’t. So instead, Rusty snickers at you. “That was some crazy legwork back there.” 

If you had a proper mouth, you would smile. 

*

Rusty has decided that your name is Speedy.

You don’t really have an opinion on it, so you accept it. Instead of pulling up to another scary location, you are brought to a store. 

You were correct. Bringing extra items to the Taxman gave you quite a bit of cash to burn. Rusty talks the whole time, explaining that you can replenish your lost ‘health’ with a ‘health pack’, which seemed to be some kind of insta-repair. 

There were upgrades you could purchase and download too. Speed, stamina, health, strength, among others. You pick a speed upgrade, for your name’s sake. 

Rusty tosses in some grenades and a landmine as well. It decides for you that it will play offense, and you will handle defense and ultimately, stay alive. 

You tap it on the shoulder and tilt your head, expressing with your eyes your concern. What will happen to it if you are the only survivor?

It puts a mechanical, clawed hand on your shoulder and nods confidently. “You’ll do great.” 

…Not what you meant. 

Purchasing from the shop is quite similar to extracting valuables. The money counter in the corner of your visual display depletes when you press the button, the items being sucked up through the extract, then dumped in the truck.

Before you go, you explore a little. You find a Watercloset. You know the term for it, but not what it is used for, or why it is there. You ignore the skeleton at the original check out desk, and head back on your way when Rusty calls. 

You’re not so sure you like this job. But you enjoy Rusty’s company, for all that it’s worth. 

*

When you slam into your next location, you immediately find that you are not alone. 

Sitting on a chair, right in front of the extract, is a lavender Semibot with an absent look. They look up to you as you arrive, but seem empty. You find some information uploaded to you, either by the Semibot or by the Taxman. 

Her name is Lilac. She lost her team in an unsuccessful extract. She prefers feminine pronouns. She will be your third member.

“Hi!” Rusty greets, bounding up to her with a cheerful disposition. “I’m Rusty, that’s Speedy. We’re your new friends!”

Lilac stares at it, and says nothing. She hardly emotes at all. She almost looks as if she’s looking right past it, at something far off in the distance. 

It is clear to you that she has seen things that have made her scared. And you know how that feels.

You trot off of the truck’s platform, standing in front of her. You place a mechanical hand on her head gently, and give her a quick pat of reassurance. 

She continues to just stare. 

*

You and Rusty try everything to get Lilac out of her shell. You offer her a bomb. You attempt to forgo your speed upgrade to give to her. But she refuses everything, and stares out into the obscured horizon.

You have two extraction points now. Your quota is 12k. It seems manageable, you suppose. 

The inside of this location is significantly wetter. Moss grows on the walls, and things drip and drop from the ceiling. Lilac keeps up, placing things in the cart as she finds them, and you are confident she can hold her own. 

You don’t run across anything dangerous at first. It’s almost unnerving. The whole place is silent, save for your pattering footsteps and the occasional water drop. 

You find a heart shaped potion. Curious, you reach out to take it, as it seems to have value. 

A voice comes out from your mouth, saying words against your will. “Daily reminder that this potion is so hot.” 

You drop it, startled. 

You had not expected the voice. It’s your voice, the one that belongs to you, but you hadn’t said those words. 

You reach out again, as it didn’t break. “I can’t get over how cute Rusty is.”

Rusty pokes its head into the room, snickering. “Yeah, bro?”

You desperately try to convey that you are being forced to say things against your will, but all that comes out is another flirt. 

“Yep, Lilac keeps getting cuter!” You coo, and you practically slam the potion into the cart. New emotion unlocked; embarrassment. 

Lilac doesn’t acknowledge you, or the potion. 

“Woah, check out this hourglass!” Rusty calls from the next room over. 

You trot in, and find a massive, purple glowing hourglass. Rusty grabs it, and its pupils blow out comically, its voice slowing down and getting deep. “ Woah… this is crazy !”

You grab it as well to help, and feel time slow down around you. 

You jolt, letting go of it. You shake your head, trying to clear the weird feeling, and go grab the cart to make it easier for Rusty to put it in. 

Once the hourglass is secured, you keep going deeper into the Academy. Taxman has given you instructions not to explore the whole of the Academy, just as you were to not explore the whole “Headman Manor” estate. Just enough to fulfill the two extraction points. 

Or, at least, that was what Rusty had said back in the truck. 

On the map you have been provided, you can see the boundaries of where Taxman wants you to be. You see an area that might be of interest, and head that way. 

You aren’t sure how to activate an extraction point if you find one, but you figure that finding it will be helpful. Lilac has disappeared, probably doing the same, while Rusty takes the cart back. 

With another quick look at your map, you keep moving. Classrooms, hallways, dormitory rooms. Each room you pass has valuables, things to take. 

A magic broom in a box catches your eye, and you take your eyes off of the world in front of you to stare at it for a minute, deciding if you are strong enough to lift it by yourself and take it back to the first extract. It is probably worth a lot. 

You hear an ominous hum, making you jump, and moments later, you are lifted into the air against your will, forced into your smaller form. 

You manage to look at your attacker. It is a strange, alien creature with uncannily long hands and feet and an even more massive head. It is floating off of the ground, and you are brought to the ceiling. 

Moments later, you are slammed into the ground. 

If you thought the gnomes hurt, they had nothing on this .

A sickening crunch fills the air as you hit the ground, your whole being jolted with pain. As quickly as you can, you get up and run, sprinting away from the alien as it attempts to grab you again. 

You skid around a corner, slamming open a cabinet and sliding into it, hiding for your life. Half of your health meter is gone. You wish you had a way to warn your teammates. 

The alien floats soundlessly into the room, looks around, and continues onwards towards your friends. You decide it’s not safe to follow, and keep going. 

You hear the extract go off, and your objective is updated to finding the next point. With your head start, you should find it quickly. 

As you step outside into a courtyard, you hear heaving thudding footsteps. 

On high alert, you continue forward, unsure of what on earth it could be. You hoped you wouldn’t have to find out. 

Your next extraction point is just across the courtyard, and you press the big red button reading “ready”. The hood of the extraction point shoots up into the ceiling, and you get another 12k quota. 

Off to work you go, once again. 

Rusty comes running with the cart, filled with a big bag of cash. “We got tax returns!” 

You snicker quietly, nodding. It could probably go towards your next quota. How kind. You tilt your head, pointing behind it to try and ask where Lilac went. 

“Lilac hung back to bring another hourglass. You can go help her if you want, I’ll get some small stuff,” Rusty said, and you nodded. 

Off you went back down the hall. You figure you should be more careful, with that alien running around. Lost in thought, you completely miss the thudding footsteps coming your way. 

It seems your fatal flaw is a lack of attention. 

By the time you see this absolutely massive, hulking walking meat , it’s too late. You simply stare up at the creature. It has two eyes, one in its abdomen and the other on a disconnected skull’s eye socket. 

The two of you stare at each other for a long, comical moment. 

It then screams a guttural cry, raising its mace over its head. 

You can’t move. You make peace with your end quickly and pray that it will be swift. 

You close your eyes, and are shoved out of the way very suddenly. Your eyes shoot back open, and you see Lilac, arm outstretched, pushing you out of the way. The world felt almost slow motion. 

She blinks at you, for once, her blank expression replaced by one of kindness. 

The mace slams down on her head as you are shoved back into the courtyard, tumbling down the stairs onto the grass as the shockwave shakes you to your very core. 

You roll into the bushes, hidden from sight, and you wait at least five minutes before creeping back out into the open. 

You see Lilac’s dented head lying on the ground, and you feel a whole cocktail of emotion. 

Guilt. Sadness. Anger.

You wish you had a voice to scream with. You wish you had proper eyes to cry with. You pick up her head with the utmost care, her eyes devoid of light. 

The rest of her body is gone. Your mechanical heart aches. 

You hold her head close, mourning the loss of your hero. The friend you made, if only for an hour. 

“What happened?!” Rusty yells, peeling into the room with alarm. It spots you holding her head, your face expressing just how distraught you are.

Rusty looks away, pained. 

The rest of the trip was all but silent. You refuse to let go of Lilac’s head, refusing to destroy her dignity by leaving the last remaining piece of her on the ground. It makes you only able to pick up small objects, using the arm you hold a flashlight with to hold her head against your body. 

You make quota before you know it, in a daze. 

So this is what loss feels like. 

You shake your head. You do not like it. 

“C’mon, Speedy, it’s time to go,” Rusty says, voice quiet. 

You approach the extract, holding in your hands your friend. You place her head in the extract. You decide it's the most appropriate place. 

You look away, stepping back slowly as guilt gnaws on you. 

Rusty puts the cart on, and you stand in silent vigil as the extraction point’s hood watches as your friend and the valuables collected were sucked up. 

Only, this extract is taking a while. The hood remains down, your objective remains collecting valuables. 

You and Rusty exchange a look. This is strange. 

After about two dangerous minutes of standing out in the open, exposed, waiting for your new objective, the light dies from the academy and the hood shoots up, your cart gone, but-

“Lilac!” Rusty gasps, the deceased Semibot dropping from the point and landing on her feet. It’s her, for sure. 

She perks up, looking between the two of you. She bows her head in thanks. 

You make it back to the truck without issue. You nearly run into the strange alien again, and you hear the horrible meat man trudging its way in your direction, but you return to the truck and get going. 

Once safe, you bonk your head against Lilac’s. She returns the gesture, and Rusty joins your little bonk fest. 

*

Your next ‘friend’ meets you at the shop. 

He looks you and your team up and down, arms crossed as he stands in front of the health pack shelf, then starts barking at you. “You call this a team?! I’ve met shadow children with more balls than this!” 

You quickly learn a few things. His name is Drill. He got that name because he runs everything like a drill. And he is terrifying. 

He yells at you the whole time you’re in the shop, strategizing very loudly and criticizing Rusty for his ‘lazy ass’ ways. 

You and Lilac share a look, unhappy with this new member. He is a grey senior Semibot, having been transferred to your side of the planet for your particular branch of REPO because Taxman wanted to save on costs, and focus on your efforts up north. 

Your team is not thrilled. 

He taunts you, your purchase choices, how much money your team has. He swears to whip you all into shape by the next stop. 

You hit him with a baseball bat to shut him up. 

From there, Rusty grabbed him and ran to the water closet, slam dunking him into a toilet and flushing it. 

The three of you all then run for your lives back to the truck, knowing that such bold actions against someone so senior would invoke his wrath, for sure. 

You attempt to urge the Taxman to let you go. He won’t let you leave without Drill, even though you were under the impression he triggered self destruct sequences in stragglers if they got left behind.

You elect to hide instead, under the bench, and pray.

You don’t even know what you’re praying to. Maybe that head you encountered at the very beginning. 

Drill storms onto the truck moments later, and finally the engine starts and the door closes. 

Locking you in there with him. 

You brace for a screaming match, but one doesn’t come. “Finally, some fuckin’ recruits with attitude. I like you guys.” 

You crawl out slowly, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. 

“BUT YOU’RE STILL A BUNCH OF WIMPS!” He grabs you and tosses you clean across the truck, bonking your head against the door of the truck. 

*

You pull up to your next location, and Drill was right. You are all now properly armed and dangerous, know how to use your respective weapons, and the names of enemies he’s met. He claims he’s never heard of a floating head or evil meat man, but did know about the Mentalist. 

Regional differences and all.

Your next location is a museum, absolutely FULL of valuables. In exchange, your quota is nearly 30k, but it’s not quite as intimidating as you expected it to be. 

Drill continues to yell, barking orders left and right. You and Lilac keep up, but Rusty falls behind a little. As expected. 

You meet the first quota easily. And while finding your next extract, you meet your enemy for the day. 

There are two ugly, fleshy creatures running around. You and your team are standing on a display shelf, the two creatures circling you. Drill recognizes the “Upscream”, but not the other one. They circle you like prey, though the non-upscream animal seems more like it's running in panicked circles than anything. 

A gunshot rings out, nailing the Upscream in the back of the head and causing it to fall over dead. Another shot taking down the animal. 

In stunned silence, you stop drawing your grenade. Drill had forgotten to leave a defense for himself, and the other team members had frozen when presented with the creatures.

A human walks into the room, eyes wrapped up in a cloth and dressed warmly. He wields a gun, as expected, and uses it as a cane. 

You stare. He is a human. You do not know what a human is, but you know that he is one. 

Strange. 

“Huh. Well how about that?” Dril says. 

The human startles, aiming the gun with trained precision and firing it at Drill, who promptly explodes into little bits of shrapnel, leaving just his head to clatter on the ground next to two orbs, which had replaced the bodies of the two creatures. 

You, Rusty, and Lilac share stunned silence. 

The human shakes his head and hums disapprovingly, before disappearing again behind a wall. 

Well that was scary. 

You take Drill’s head back to the cart, and you continue the extract. 

Of all of the places you had been so far, this was your least favorite. It was just so… unnerving. 

Every now and again, you’d hear distant distorted piano music. Ruined sculptures, broken pieces of ceramic, and odd art that made no sense to you littered the walls and floor. 

You break off from the group and stop in front of a sculpture against a wall, almost dropping your flashlight. 

A Semibot, holding a human skull. 

You think back to the messages on the wall of the training facility. You think about the empty world. And you think about the only human you’ve met. 

What does all of it mean? 

You do drop your flashlight. It slips out of your hand, clattering to the floor.

And in that moment, you are killed by a well aimed gunshot to the head. 

Being dead is a strange feeling. You are still aware that you are dead and not working, but you cannot do anything about it. You can’t move. You can’t talk. You just simply know that you have been destroyed. 

What happens after is a blur. 

You hear the extract trigger. You feel yourself being sucked up. You feel invisible hands working, running all over you and rewiring your ‘nerves’, attaching you to a new body. 

And when you drop back down, in the blink of an eye, you are back to normal. What a strange miracle.

You head back to the truck, and you are warned your next trip will be a long one. 

So, while the others get settled, the engine sputters to life, and the door slams shut, you send an additional message. 

Simply, a question mark. 

Why do you do what you do? Why was there a statue of your kind holding the severed head of the formal overlords of the world? Why did he do what he did? Why did you know what you knew?

The Taxman seemed to understand the nuance of your question. He types for a long, long while. 

In the end, all he sends is a laughing crying emoji. 

It is a non answer. 

But you take it, sitting on the bench and entering rest mode to recover some lost health. 

*

By mission ten, you have a full team. 

You wrestle on the ground with Sunshine for the Duck Bucket, trying to add it to your inventory while it tries to take it back. 

Meta and Lilac sit on the bench, fiddling with the radio Meta built from scraps. Rusty is cheering you on, while Drill tells Sunshine to aim for the eyes. 

The radio kicks on properly, and a relaxed guitar tune fills the air. 

You win the Duck Bucket battle, shoving it in your inventory as quickly as you can and tumble launching away. Sunshine accepts its defeat, but still tries to grab you and shake it out of you. 

“Can you guys chill?” Meta asks, bringing their radio to the window ledge and out of harm’s way. 

“No!” Sunshine whines. “Speedy took my bucket!” 

“It’s not your bucket,” Rusty points out. “It’s everyone’s bucket, we all share a bank account.” 

You return to McJannek station for your next mission. It’s a new branch of their research foundation, so it's a whole new place to wreck and rob. 

Doing it with such a large team was a lot of fun. There was less anxiety around death, knowing there were five other people at any point to revive your head and resurrect you.

You figured that you had to be Taxman’s favorite team. You cooperated with each other, you made fat stacks, you didn’t even have to be told what to do anymore. Otherwise, why would he continue to revive you?

It was a game to you. A game you enjoyed. 

What you don’t enjoy was nearly giving the Robe a hug, walking face first into her. It startles both of you, and as such you have time to run and dive under a bed before she can grab you.

Meta is already under there. You share a look of amusement as the Robe attempts to figure out where you went, the other members of your team running away screaming if they possessed the vocal capacity to. 

Nobody likes the Robe. 

Rusty was convinced she acted obsessed with them, running into her multiple times. They knew it was the same creature too, since the tears on her robe were always the same. Even Drill didn’t like her. 

But it was a fun game.

You and Meta watch her go, and follow behind her silently. You draw a hammer, and as she passes a pit in the ground into a puddle of acid, you knock her into it. 

The Robe doesn’t die. She will crawl out of the hole at some point. But she’s out of the way now. 

You and Meta share a little ‘fist bump’ and continue onwards. Four extraction points, no problem. 

You keep going, your fear gone completely. 

*

You are a Semibot. 

You have a name. Your name is Speedy. 

You do not know where you came from, but you do know what your purpose is. 

As you sit in the back of the truck, rocking back and forth, you lean into the side of the truck, Lilac sitting in your lap in her tiny form, while Drill makes Sunshine and Meta do ‘push ups’. Rusty sits beside you, reveling in the radio’s cheerful music.

You are part of the Retrieve, Extract, Profit Operation, or REPO for short. You are one of hundreds of unique robots created to scour the world for valuables. You are minions of the Taxman, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. There are mysteries afoot, but that’s okay.

After all, without all of this, you wouldn’t have met your friends. 

You bonk your head firmly against Rusty’s, tapping your fingers on Lilac’s head.

Yeah. Your friends. 

And for the first time, you find your voice. “You are my friends.” 

“Sure we are, buddy,” Rusty agrees, cheerful.

“Hey, they do talk! I hope not as much as that rust-bucket,” Drill sneered.

You close your eyes, content. 

It’s not easy work. But you’d say it’s worth it.