Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

13 years. Hoseok can only sigh. Soon, he'll be starting his 40s, and he can hardly trace everything he has wasted to this place. His career. His health. His family. This mansion has drained his life. Hoseok cannot remember the last time he has gone into heat, his wolf having given up on a mate. He feels it mewling, crawling under his skin, clawing his insides like it was his fault. 

Perhaps it was. 

Hoseok was 24, settling for what he thought could help his family back then. He married early to an alpha named Yijeong, who struggled with unemployment at the time. They had their ups and downs, latter of which constantly revolved around their inability to have a child. But the omega loved him. Well, they did love each other. But becoming a servant here would begin to end it all. 

He found out he would be taking care of young master Jimin, who was a bright young boy to a single beta mother when they first met. Shy and nervous to strangers, hearty and playful once he got to know Hoseok. The boy was a passionate ballet dancer, and like birds of a feather, he was instantly drawn when he found out Hoseok used to be a street dancer.

Jimin would ask why had he given up.

Hoseok, attempting to conceal this world’s cruelty from his precious little heart, would just say that he’d soon find out once he grew older.

He grew up, but still not old enough.

After weeks of pleading, Hoseok taught him popping.

And he didn’t think they could ever get closer than they already were, but they did.

Jimin grew a little older than before, and he then said in the midst of an exciting dance session with a much hoarser voice…with glistening eyes and a thumping heart…that he would marry Hoseok one day.

He threw his head back and laughed at the boy.

He told him he’s too young to think about these things. And that he should focus on his dance and studies. And that Yijeong was his husband.

Jimin refused to believe it.

Hoseok laughed again. He asked Jimin who else would Yijeong be.

Hoseok should’ve known since that day. The way those pupils trembled and his eyes struggled to hold back tears. The way his fists clenched. The way his lips tightened and jittered. The way he would start giving the silent treatment to Hoseok.

Hoseok cared about his job too much. Yijeong had gotten himself one, but it barely covered rent or groceries. Working in the mansion let them worry less about it, since Ji-ah, despite being a stereotypical elite and an independent single mother, was kind enough to require Hoseok and his husband to live in the basement and feed on plentifuls of scraps. He could not risk losing this just because her boy randomly decided to throw a temper tantrum. It took a lot of convincing until Hoseok also agreed to join the cleaning servants’ duties.

Jimin eventually came around, like most children do, but something about him was always different ever since. He was still as gentle and sweet as he had known, but not in the same way. Perhaps it was because he was getting closer to the presenting age, but there was an edge of aggression from the way he talked to the way he danced. The time had come and Ji-ah tried her best to explain that Jimin was meant to take over the company. And that meant he could not pursue dancing the way he had dreamed to. Consequently, a massive argument broke and shook the mansion. Hoseok tried to reason that this may have been why, but deep within, he knew it was more than that.

Hoseok would have picked the signs if he paid more attention to the way Jimin caged him when they were together, or how demanding his eye contact was. But there was too much in Hoseok’s life to notice. His husband had told him about a shipping job and how he needed to move away from time to time, which he supported thinking it would mean they could finally afford a life they wanted.

He didn’t pick it up back then, feeling dizzy and seeing red when Jimin handed him a picture of Yijeong with another omega, claiming that a friend of his spotted them at the hotel. And they were loud. And Yijeong spat how good that omega’s pussy was, and how Hoseok was a barren bitch and all used up. Jimin made sure to pour every detail into the shaken omega’s ears. After all, he was there, angry that an alpha like Yijeong could dare claim Hoseok, not wanting all the time he’d spent stalking that pathetic man go to waste.

Hoseok had to spend his heat alone for the first time, sobbing as his wolf fought within his body, as if it was trying to spawn out of him. He pushed it as deep as he could, and let the knotted dildo stuff the emptiness he felt from within. Still insatiable, he gushed, his hole twitching relentlessly. He moaned loud and embarrassingly, bit his pillow, humped the mattress. Nothing helped. In a wave of consciousness he shortly experienced, horror froze him when he spotted Jimin peeking behind the door of the basement, cheeks flushed, panting, and standing with a tight crotch. 

Jimin had sneaked near the basement on his own, stroking his length while he listened to the omega's mewls and the wet noises, cursing under his breath when he peeked and saw Hoseok pull out the plastic dildo, slick pouring out of him endlessly. Fuck. The whole area smelled like milk and vanilla. His hole was desperate. It fluttered. The entire dildo was glistening. Strings of slick hung from the tip of the knot. The mounds of his ass jiggled slightly when he collapsed to the sloppy mattress. Jimin came within minutes. 

His heat had ended, but Jimin’s gaze still burned his skin. Hoseok didn’t know how to approach this. On one hand, he thinks he should apologize for being an unruly careless servant, because Jimin was his master, and he was still a kid. On the other, a new kind of feeling abrupts for Jimin—one too close to fear. Because Hoseok was just starting to absorb everything. 

That silly old puppy love has evolved to something else. Jimin had a sickly obsession with Hoseok, and he was afraid he could do nothing to stop it.

He thought he could avoid the younger one as much as possible. Leaving this job was not an option now that Yijeong was out of the picture. If being an omega wasn’t hard enough, he could barely afford a single life either. Speaking of that bastard, Hoseok couldn’t help but find him impressively strategic, hooking up with the betrothed, older and not-so-sharp daughter of a conglomerate head. Diving deeper lets him find out that the mistress had a younger sister, whose father stormed the mansion one day, begging to Ji-ah on his knees.

Ji-ah, who wished to wed her son to the younger daughter of renowned omega lineage, refused blandly, and the man or his family could not set foot in this house again.

Yijeong had managed to impregnate the much younger omega and cause the downfall of that family’s reputation in the process. Regardless, he was set for a good life financially. That moment made him realize how unfair the world was. Hoseok would not call himself the epitome of goodness, but he often wondered if he ever deserved this misery. He tried looking for happiness. He truly did. But Seoul was a cruel city. He had no one. 

Well, Jimin used to be someone who brightened up his days. He missed dancing. He missed the way they used to be. He missed how little Jimin was. He missed the innocence, and he missed what they had. 

He remembers giving in to Jimin’s constant questioning. He told him he was an omega. It was inappropriate for an omega to dance so frivolously. He married Yijeong because he promised him Seoul, a place where he thought every dream would come true. 

Jimin called Yijeong stupid. Hoseok laughed it off like everything else. Jimin told him Yijeong didn’t deserve him. And that if he was in Yijeong’s place, he’d give the world to Hoseok. Jimin revealed how Hoseok was the only person he could dance in front of, now that his mother had forbidden him from dancing anymore. And how Jimin would never judge him for being an omega. Jimin told him that they were meant to be. He told Hoseok that when he becomes an alpha, the two will dance with all their heart. Jimin gave comfort to Hoseok in his own innocent little ways. It warmed his own heart to be cared for like that.

He hated growing afraid of him, now that he would be presenting soon. Being from a strong lineage of alphas on both sides, there was only a slight chance of him being a beta like his mother. He was already showing overwhelming signs, realizing which made Hoseok see how Ji-ah looked at him. It was one lined with contempt. The jabs he had endured for 10 years begin to sound even more cruel out of the beta’s mouth. Hoseok felt like he had corrupted Ji-ah’s sweet boy. He felt like blaming himself. He shouldn’t have dumped the story of his tragic life on a boy so promising. He shouldn’t have looked for comfort. He shouldn’t have sobbed in his arms when Yijeong cheated on him. And he shouldn’t have gone into heat, though he wonders how Jimin could have unlocked the door he remembers giving only two maids the access to.

Hoseok was mentally preparing himself for the day he would leave this place. It was too much. He had finally managed to get in touch with his aging aunt from Gwangju, hoping the rural life could serve him the solace he desired. All he needed for this was an opportunity. Except he didn't expect it to knock so soon. 

Hoseok was on his morning cleaning duty as usual. He took a deep breath before entering the master's room. There was a tent on the bed. The heavy curtains left the room in an orange hue. Hoping this could let him not pay mind to the other, Hoseok dusted the furniture and folded the worn clothes lying on the chair. It smelled like musk. Powdery, almost gentle to the nostrils. Jimin seemed to prefer light scents for deodorants. Hoseok liked it. It's a kind he would have liked to keep smelling. And then hit the pungently enticing smell of licorice. It's disruptive, conquering the softness that bloomed in the air. Hoseok covers his mouth as soon as he realizes. 

“Young master is in a rut!” the other servants ran around in panic.

Hoseok walked out of the room as unnoticed as he could, praying that the boring eyes on his back were just imagination. He turned back to be horrified beyond comprehension. He’s only heard it from stories in the older more sexually-repressive times, when feral wolves who gave in too much to their desires had to be dealt with. A loud wail almost escapes his shocked mouth when he sees them immediately chain the younger who nearly pounced him—in cuffs made of iron, but the alpha seemed to test its strength. The maids dragged Hoseok away and comforted him in his room, having briefly lost their souls in that time being as well.

Jimin had presented as an alpha. Not just any kind, but a direct descendant of the strongest ones who ever lived. He was the purest alpha in his family. And naturally, he inherited the same genes that made his ancestors fearsome. His wolf was simultaneously the most intelligent and the most instinctive. And because this wolf tried to claim Hoseok’s omega as soon as it was awakened, everyone was now aware that Jimin’s alpha had imprinted on Hoseok.

Hoseok left for Gwangju that day with tears fogging the window of his train seat. His wolf, which did nothing but mourn the broken bond from Yijeong, was thrashing inside. He felt guilty. It seemed like yesterday when Jimin was little enough for him to carry and spin around. This was so wrong, and it was all his fault.

Ji-ah ordered him to leave as far away as he could. Supposing Jimin had no idea what his hometown and village was like, it was the safest option for him to consider at the time. He didn’t talk to anyone. He took a glance at his bed-ridden aunt and ran to her arms wordlessly. She smelled like his mom. In a moment full of guilt, he cried remembering how he couldn’t be there in her last breaths, though she had repeatedly begged him to visit.

Hoseok used to hold a grudge against his mom. For a long time, he blamed her for ruining his dreams. Because he presented as an omega, she could not bear imperfection. Hoseok was forced to give up street dance just when he was accepted into a prestigious academy in Seoul. Hoseok learned to rebel for the first time in his life by marrying Yijeong, a delinquent and ex-school mate. He used to rave about being raised in Seoul, and it was because of him that Hoseok couldn’t help but relish in the dreams of travelling there. He wondered, clinging to a blanket of his mom’s as he tried to sleep on her old bed, that if life would be any different if he hadn’t been so stupid and just listened like he always had. Being a dancer seemed to have never been in his destiny, but would he be free of this misery? Of insults, betrayals, and guilt? He may have never come to Seoul, never gotten a job, never had had to deal with a struggling wolf that wanted to break him, and never got to know Jimin. It hurts, thinking of the boy’s pure heart-pouring eyes turn so beastly and furious. If staying away gets rid of his imprint the way Ji-ah suggested, perhaps he will feel slightly better.

Few days later, Ji-ah called him back, assuring him that he could return. Hoseok was taken aback, since he thought he’d be undoubtedly fired after that event. Rightfully so. But Ji-ah insisted, being the kindest she's ever been. Hoseok was obviously puzzled, and even wanted to resist until he saw everything around him. His wolf had gone oddly silent, but incredibly weak and tired. Perhaps his place would have helped it heal, but he has no stake on any place to stay here.

Soon. He promised himself, inhaling the air and carrying it with him to Seoul. He's been saving for a while. It won't be too long until he could feel financially safe enough to retire and reside in this simple village. He'll only have to tolerate the young alpha for a few more years. 

On his way back, Hoseok worried the most about Jimin’s reaction towards him. Now that he was imprinted on, will Jimin be entitled to him? Or will he feel wronged and manipulated by Hoseok for all these years?

Instead, he is given what he least expected and perhaps should have been relieved by — distance. Unfortunately for him, it raised too many other questions which made him more anxious.

Did they manage to solve it somehow? Is the imprint gone? 

As days went by, he wondered if he had been panicking needlessly. He’d seen the way Jimin looked at him. He knew how he acted around him. Why was he so different now? Jimin was not a little kid anymore, Hoseok reminds himself even if it’s hard to accept sometimes. He’s matured. He’s responsible. He’s already working his way up to becoming an executive. He’s not going to sneak into the omega’s room anymore. He’s gone through several ruts already. He’s been inviting omegas to spend it with him. They praise him endlessly. They say he’s a gentleman. There is nothing to worry about. But if so, why can’t he feel relieved?

The mansion has been short of excitement lately. Ji-ah has always had a love for lavish parties, so this change was unusual. Both the mother and son had distanced themselves from Hoseok even though they were merciful enough to keep him, so Hoseok lagged behind on what was going on. Hoseok was probably one of the older servants now, and so every time he supervised the gossipy young servants, he couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They said Ji-ah was concerned. Jimin’s ruts were irregular, and they were easily triggered by the merest things. Not that it was related to the party, which they say was a result of conflicts between Ji-ah and the other directors of the company, but a part of him still worried more for Jimin even if he was all grown up now. Must be very painful to bear, he thought, wondering if that was why he was in the arms of different omegas each time.

Mijoo was probably one of the few ones who showed up more than once. She was the only alpha partner Jimin had. She was nice enough to be friendly with everyone in the mansion, even the servants. However, Hoseok was out of the equation, like he has been with most people related to the Parks for a while.

She looked at him in a way that was tragic, kind, empathetic, but also encrypted. They looked like friends, but Hoseok could see them get together. Oddly though, with how much she’s helped Jimin through his ruts, Jimin hardly seems to return the favour, let alone anyone else’s. Hoseok shouldn’t judge, because of course at the end of the day Jimin should not be expected to. But as he’s seen these arrangements most of the time, it’s uncommon for unmated wolves to not be mutually there for each other. 

This distance has made Hoseok a bit nosy. He can’t help but find it a little funny to see himself become like the spying neighbour aunties who’d tell his mom if he sneaked out to dance again. That’s when it hits him how old he’s gotten. He’s still in his 30s, but his body seems to have aged faster than the passing years. He can’t dance anymore. His calves too rigid. His back too sore and stiff. And his arms too frail. Hoseok hasn’t looked at himself for a while. He barely undresses, unless he’s showering. He barely has heats—his last one being a few years after Yijeong left. Sometimes he traces the place where his mating mark used to be. Yijeong will always be a good riddance to him, but 13 years ago, he didn’t think so. Yijeong used to call him carefree, bright-eyed, and mild because it would be too obvious to call him nonsensical, and so he was easy for the 20-year-old omega to love. And so he endured 10 years, while the subtle call-outs became blatant insults. And a part of all this damage is that Hoseok thinks Yijeong was right. Hoseok is barren, that’s why his heats have disappeared, and that’s why nobody wants him. He’s accomplished nothing in life. Looking at himself has begun to disgust him. 

And yet, with all this, Jimin admires him so much to a point he was misguided to think of this affection as love. Hoseok should be grateful. He’s the one who crossed the line. Jimin deserved better, and so he has every right to distance himself from the omega and see how wrong this bond was. That’s what Hoseok believes Jimin has finally realized.

Ji-ah is going to throw an evening party soon. And like always, servants are given to put on the finest clothes beyond their imaginations against their skins. The oddness of this occasion’s fit, however, puzzles Hoseok.

The younger servants gawk over how pretty it is. They insist it was Ji-ah’s way of thanking him for all those years. They don’t know Ji-ah barely tolerates him, but perhaps the woman has become more soft-hearted after all. Hoseok has not talked to her for a while and so he couldn’t tell. But he decides to not question it anyway, since he doesn’t have any other clothes that will match the theme. It’s a black silk chiffon dress with a golden sheen. It’s pretty, and it had the most precise stitches he has ever seen. It did show off more cleavage and back that he was comfortable with, but he’s receiving too much from the beta mistress to not wear it in return.

His duties let him hide away in the kitchen most of the time now that he’s the most experienced servant around. So the party is barely noticeable to him, but that doesn’t stop him from putting effort. He asked one of the maids to help him with makeup. He has paired the dress with a gold necklace that belonged to his mother.

He steps in to the party very briefly to help with the arrangement of drinks. It’s the most confident he has felt in a while, considering the self-depreciating image he’s felt so stuck to. His eyes scan the guests, some of whom are familiar and a lot of whom are not. 

Mijoo is here too, eyeing him as any alpha would. Perhaps Hoseok has gone a bit too overboard. But he doesn’t hate it. He does enjoy the way he turns some necks around. Ji-ah looks at him too, anxiously. Usually, that would make him worry about his job, but Hoseok was too settled in his plans to bother. This might as well be the last time he’s dressed in this metropolitan glamour, given the beta rarely arranges events anymore. This is the most time he has spent looking the guests eye-to-eye. And upon noticing that, he starts to think he should head back to the kitchen.

That gives him the cue to exit the scene, but not before he finds himself sharing another one of many eye contacts with an alpha across the hall, but unlike any other. He watches as lidded eyes become rounder and fill with light. It’s like he has stopped breathing. His lips part as they tremble to be rendered speechless. They rarely see each other anymore under the same roof, and that takes a while to absorb, seeing how handsomely he has grown into a fine young man, and yet, how his face was adorned in the same innocence he adored.

Hoseok rushes back to the kitchen, his heart thumping and his hands trembling. The event was coming to an end. He yells at the young maids who were on the verge of tears because of him, inspecting every utensil to be squeaky clean. He orders the servants to bring out the guests’ treats, and makes sure everyone and everything is lined up before calling it a day. He couldn’t consider stepping out again, now that he has fallen under Jimin’s gaze. He sends the servants to be thanked, and like usual, Ji-ah is rarely bothered if someone, no matter how long you’ve known them, is out of the picture. Her voice is oddly joyous and high-pitched in contrast to her regular deep cold elegance, finishing on the mic right after a few seconds. As claps shake the floor, Hoseok lets his shoulders fall.

He heads to the basement and his heart is still beating, thinking about Jimin. It’s wrong. He reminds his deranged mind. Jimin was probably just shocked to see him be so glitzy. He’s never dressed this expensively before. Hoseok cannot give in. Jimin was not even into him anymore. He has seen him and Mijoo together. That beautiful girl is so lost for him. There was no way they did not share anything outside ruts. Hoseok and Jimin were nothing but awkward encounters. It’s unfair to Jimin to be defined by who he had a silly crush on when he was little; on someone who also happened to be much older than him. Sometimes, Hoseok feels like the more childish of the two for overthinking everything between them. 

He strips and hugs the dress to his body, going back to his good old pajamas. He folds the dress and takes off the necklace to neatly keep them aside. Jiah will have to return a dress this expensive to the boutique she rented it from, after all. He still appreciates it, although Ji-ah barely noticed his presence in the closing. It’s the thought that counts.

As he carefully shuffles a bunch of bags, wrappings, and papers this dress came in, a paper slips out the dress’s box. Puzzled, as he has never seen this with other clothes Ji-ah rents, he picks it from the ground, supposing it was a price tag. The dress had to be around 10 million won, he bets to himself.

His heart stills frozen when he reads it.

…

It said Jimin…it was from…Jimin…

“Mistress is calling the betas upstairs! It’s urgent!!” one maid runs to the servant quarters and informs just as the last few guests leave the door, “Master Jimin is in a rut! Again!!”

Thank God Mijoo stayed back. Jimin hadn't invited her for the past few ruts, but right now, he is incredibly lucky to have her. Thankfully, Jimin's ruts don't last longer than a day, which is a bit of a relief considering for someone like him, who experiences this pain so frequently and suddenly.

Sometimes, Hoseok remembers that he hasn't been able to dread his own heats for a while now, and thinks he should be happy about it. But he just…can't. He didn't feel like an omega. He feels as if he's failed to be one. 

Jimin was the epitome of alpha. From the way he talked to the way he walked. Enduring these frequent ruts itself makes him more alpha-like than anyone else. How can Hoseok and Jimin ever be? Instances like these make the idea of them seem so ridiculous. 

Hoseok is just grateful he doesn't have to leave the house anymore. Everything harsh that comes with ruts is hushed behind the door. Mijoo was especially great in calming Jimin down, and always let the maids know when the couple could use some food and water. Hoseok had to stay away from the kitchen, however. It was Ji-ah's orders, just so they do not risk what happened last time again. But he'd let them know what to feed the young master. He hates veggies, so they needed to be blended smooth until no chunks. Some aged kimchi was always in the pantry to go into his favorite stew. And seafood was strictly forbidden. 

Hoseok wonders if Ji-ah had ever taken the poor boy to the doctors, because what he was going through certainly isn't normal. She must have. Ji-ah was in no way neglectful. Perhaps it was due to an embarrassing matter. It can't have to do with him, right? 

Hoseok scolds himself for thinking so vainly again. This was probably a medical complication. Given Jimin's strong alpha lineage, perhaps he was simply struggling to tame his wolf. It was stupid to fixate on it, because Jimin's rut has already ended within a day. But his thoughts remind him of the ridiculously expensive dress again. Of course Hoseok couldn’t accept this. He’ll have it returned through another servant. But he stressed as he kept asking himself — why would Jimin get him a dress so expensive?

Hoseok is allowed to step out of the basement again. He decides to help Mijoo this time. It's usually nothing more than gathering her things up and arranging a quick meal. Mijoo comes out of Jimin's room, face morphed by exhaustion but fresh still, which honestly makes the omega envy her youth a little. Behind the door was Jimin passed out, snoring lightly while on his stomach, cushioned comfortably by 5 pillows. 

They've never really talked to each other. All Hoseok really has to do is lead her to the dining table. He prepares samgyetang for her everytime, having heard it's her favorite. He didn't expect someone young like her to share the same taste as him, but he's grateful to cook for her, although he has to prepare everything 3 hours beforehand.

“Do you always make this?” Mijoo asks, nearly throwing Hoseok off. Just when he remembers how they haven’t ever spoken, Mijoo decides to talk — as if she’s read his mind.

“Yes. I heard you like it.” he replies, and he can't help but feel giddy. 

“I do! Thank you for always making this for me.” she smiles at him. 

“No problem. I love samgyetang too. So I like cooking it for you.”

“Yours is so good. Sometimes I feel like I come here just to taste your Samgyetang.” she chuckles while saying it, but again, she eyes Hoseok in an encrypted manner. “Speaking of which, this might be the last time I might get to eat this.”

Hoseok shows his open shock and confusion, “W-why? Did something happen?”

Mijoo sighs, dropping her spoon into the steaming bowl as she stares at her food, “Yes.”

Hoseok waits for her to continue, but is instead overtaken by deafening  silence. “You mean—you're still visiting like you usually do? Right? Like you usually co—”

“No.” the alpha says firmly, “This is the last time we're seeing each other. I thought it'd be unfair to leave while never having talked to you. And so here I am.” she points at herself, making Hoseok giggle. “Jimin talks alot about you, you know? I can’t help but feel jealous.”

Hoseok freezes. And Mijoo notices. But she continues regardless, staring at his soul. 

“He's always talking about how much you mean to him. How you've always been there for him…” Mijoo hesitates when Hoseok flinches, but continues while his eyes water, “He says he can't stop thinking about you. He says you're his everything. He talks about how much he lo—”

“Jimin—!” Hoseok interrupts, swallowing the sobs stuck to his throat, “He's…Jimin is just…confused.” he tries to explain, with Mijoo obviously not buying it, “We used to be attached to the hips. We were practically siblings. J-Jimin used to think I was a cool dancer. He r-really just admired me…nothing else.”

Mijoo is already shaking her head before he ends, “Quit it, Hoseok-ssi. You know that's not true. It's not fair to Jimin.” she says sternly, “Do you know how painful this is for Jimin? His wolf has already imprinted on you! And it keeps coming back to claim you!”

The last part makes Hoseok feel dizzy, but he argues, “N-no. It can't be…mistress called me back to work…the imprint…m-must be gone. W-why would she call me back?” in the midst of absorbing everything, Hoseok thinks, if the wolf keeps coming back for him, are all these irregular ruts…Hoseok's fault?? 

Mijoo loses her appetite, rolling her eyes, “What did you see when you came back to the mansion, Hoseok-ssi?”

He tries to think while battling a brain fog, “T-the same? Probably? New bed?? I don't know…”

“New couches. New tables. Renovated doors. Painted walls.” Mijoo adds, and Hoseok wants to slap himself for not noticing sooner, “He went feral, Hoseok. He was tracking your scent. The chains couldn't keep him anymore. He's so miserable without you.” she explains, nearly tearing up. “It h-hurts to see him like this.”

Hoseok is shaken with guilt, swallowing yet another lump in his threat. What else could he really say about this anymore? 

But Mijoo adds salt to the wounds, “Your presence keeps him calm. But that doesn't stop him from hurting. I see it. Everytime we're together, I see it mewling and curling. It refuses to let me touch him unless I'm wearing your scent.”

“W-wearing my scent?” Hoseok regrets asking before he even hears from the alpha. 

Mijoo sighs, staring elsewhere, “Ji-ah managed an old shirt of yours to calm him down for his first time…he makes all his rut partners wear it…”

Hoseok decides that's enough. He couldn't be here. Hoping he isn't being too unkind to Mijoo, he orders the maids to clean up the table and help her off. He's not sure what he feels other than numbness. He's also nauseous, and the sight and smell of the food recalls this conversation again, making him gag. 

He runs to the basement. He looks for everything he owns. He creates a mess as he hurriedly packs. He doesn’t care. He needs to be out of here. It’s been draining him and his wolf for so long. He can’t stand anything about Jimin anymore. The thing he’s been fearing the whole time is well alive still and it was his biggest nightmare. He’s going to a place nobody in Seoul knows. Yijeong had moved to China with his new mistress long ago and wasn’t a concern. He’s going back to his village. He hasn’t inherited anything from his late aunt, but he’s sure he can work on some papers to claim any part from his mother. It will be hard. Hoseok thought he could wait 2 more years, but he can’t. Not here. Not like this. Not around Jimin.

He leaves his part of living spotless. And yet, it felt like he was forgetting something behind. He stares at the box of expensive dress he’d worn, which he now knows was from Jimin. He feels so stupid for purposefully acting obtuse. For so long. He should have left the first time Jimin nearly pounced him. Again, all of this felt more and more like his fault.

He tells a servant he trusted to look after and return the dress back to Jimin when she could. He told her to get it dry-cleaned if possible, since the fabric reeked of his scent. He also asked her to apologize on his behalf — he’s been unfair to Jimin for so long. It was not the younger’s fault that he mistakes this obsession as love. It’s Hoseok’s fault for assuming a little distance could get rid of the imprint so easily. With his own wolf so silent, yet whimpering unintelligibly somewhere within, he blames himself for feeling so safe with a half-dead wolf to guide his instincts.

Hoseok goes back to the village. On his way, he rings up a cousin he wasn’t very close to but was able to meet last time. His relatives are kind enough to accommodate him.

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Months pass. 

Hoseok gets accustomed to the village life quicker than he expects. The responsibilities of a servant equips the need to perform chores here and there quite handily. His uncle jokes that he had inherited his aunt’s germaphobia by making sure everything was squeaky clean. He missed his aunt, just like everybody else in here. The house is fuller than he remembers in his childhood. The kids are louder and naughtier. His cousins have become chattier. But nothing replaces the hollow spark left by his aunt. She was the matriarch of their family, after all. Hoseok was lucky enough to get to see her. And just like last time, everything here painfully reminded him of his own mother again.

Except Hoseok doesn’t get the bed all to himself anymore. His nieces and nephews flock to him, fighting amongst each other to lay next to him and hear his stories about the city. They were instantly hooked to him when they discovered that he used to street dance. They would ask why he had given up. He’d reveal to the older ones that he was an omega, and it was inappropriate for an omega to engage in things like street dancing. One of the nieces had already presented as a beta. She’d ask if it was inappropriate for betas to dance too. Hoseok would answer no. 

She would continue that, if it was ok for her to dance, it should be ok for omegas to dance as well. Hoseok would chuckle and nod, but joke that his knees and hips won’t let him. He didn’t want these kids to have their innocent fascinations crushed by expecting them to know what the world demands from their wolves. He’s led his wolf to a point of suppression because of it.

He saw a healer as soon as he settled. An old lady whose omega was still alive and well, she told him it had more to do with his spirit than his physical body. He told her that his wolf has gone mute, and he barely senses the omega anymore. 

He added about Yijeong. And he also included everything between him and Jimin, hesitantly, because he felt like he should. 

She explained to him what a broken bond is. She told him how bonds are shaped by the same things that create people’s driving forces. That his physical self and spiritual self were more connected than he thought.

Hoseok argued that others too have given up on their dreams and have been cheated on, strongly insisting that him being infertile may have to do with the same medical reason why his wolf was dying so soon.

She agreed, to his surprise, but added that she strongly believed it was manifested. And that the usual assumption of an early dying wolf, which Hoseok believed he has, was not the issue in his case and could be cured.

Hoseok had gone there out of desperation. He rarely believes in spirituality, and was rather rational in his approach towards everything. So he had to leave when the lady insisted that his wolf had gone mute out of neglect, and that going back to Jimin could cure it all.

Hoseok does not expect an old-fashioned omega to understand it. He had forgotten to mention their age difference but doesn’t think it would have been worth it. He’s always believed these spiritual bullshit to be scam. He rarely changes his mind. She did not deserve to know anything about Hoseok and had only preyed on his vulnerability, like all scammers do.

But it lingers — whatever she said. A part of him is convinced there’s some truth to it and he hates his mind for even thinking so. He hopes that one day, when everything is settled and he has fulfilled all the rights and documents to acquire his mother’s land, he can finally have peace and be free from these invading thoughts. And he hopes in these little prayers that Jimin would be free from the thoughts of him too.

It takes a while to officially start the work. Hoseok is grateful he had enough support till now to actually proceed here. He heads to the local office with every document he could think of needing — the land, his mother, his foremothers, and him. 

It’s a kind of space that makes him a little claustrophobic, with piles of paper everywhere and endless ringings of cell phones. He’s managed to get in touch with someone who his cousin recommended, hoping all the chaos he sees around him passes like a breeze.

It's smooth for most parts until the officer informs him that he may need to provide a security asset other than land for the small loan he's withdrawing. Hoseok insists that he has the money, but it will simply take a while to transfer from the city branch. However, after reviewing every other option, the officer reverts, suggesting that Hoseok could securitize any jewelries he had. It was the fastest way to get work done before more problems arise, according to the officer, who assured to protect the jewelries from seizure. 

Hoseok looked from his own collections, especially the ones gifted by Yijeong, picking the ones he was least attached to. He didn't have a lot, but it made up for most that was required. Most of his collection, including his favorite necklace, were family heirlooms. He remembers seeing his mother wear it often, whether it was a special occasion, or just to feel pretty. 

He can't find it. 

Panicking, he tossed his entire space upside down, desperately praying he was just overlooking it. He tries to think, with anxiety bubbling his guts and tears welling his eyes — trying to remember the last place he had kept it, the last time he had seen it, and the last time he had worn it. 

He almost cries out loud, wanting to thrash around in his own despair. 

He had left it back in the mansion. 

He has to take deep breaths to calm down. It was the only memory he had of his mother. He couldn't just lose it and let it be? He tries to think deeper. 

It was in the box. He'd accidentally kept it in with the dress in its fancy packaging. A dress he had returned to Jimin. 

Dread fills him — as if life was playing a cruel trick on him.

He tries again, looking. It was the most valuable thing he had. He couldn’t have just forgotten it? He’s always been careful around the thieving maids. He left the place spotless.

He still can’t find it.

With another deep breath, he calls one of the servants he had known for a long time and trusts the most from Seoul. The one who he had asked to return it on his behalf.

She didn’t check what’s inside. She informed him.

Hoseok asks, or rather begs her to find out whether Jimin still had it.

She has been laid off for her old age. She tells, barely able to contain her glee despite showing genuine concern for Hoseok’s valuable loss. She lets him know what happened after Hoseok left — a tension that had always existed between the mother and son heightened, especially after the news of Mijoo leaving for US. The Park conglomerates were facing a scandal and the board of directors threatened to let Ji-ah bear all the brunt, as she was the face of the company. In this heat, Ji-ah had fired the older servant in a fit of rage over spilled drinks, which she was initially upset about until Jimin offered to cover her retirement fees.

It felt selfish to ask anything else from her, given the anguish she was finally free from.

Hoseok calls one of the cleaning maids.

He is clueless about seeing any jewelry in the basement or in Jimin’s room, but suggests that he might have spotted something similar to the package Hoseok describes.

When Hoseok asks if he could acquire more of it, the maid’s voice turns sour on the call, blatantly ending their conversation after letting him know that he was fired.

With heart in his mouth, he drags his trembling thumb over a contact he’d been treating as a last resort.

“Hello?”

Deep breaths.

“Hobi hyung?”

Hoseok feels dizzy.

“...How are you, Jimin? How’s everything?”

A heavy silence from the other end of the line.

“Fine.”

Hoseok thinks about how to approach this, and yet nothing he comes up with seems like it would sound right out loud. 

“I wanted to ask you…about something…”

“You left your necklace. It’s with me. Seems valuable. You might want to come and pick it up yourself, since I don’t know where you are right now.” Jimin tells him everything he wanted to know before he could even frame his words together.

“Right. Thank you, Jimin. It’s nice…to hear from you.”

Silence

“Jimin. I’m so sorry. Both to you and your mom. I know I left abruptly bu-but —”

Jimin ends the call.

It went better than he expected. That’s what Hoseok wanted to convince himself. That Jimin could have had no idea about the necklace, or worse, outright refused to hand it to him. Jimin could be painfully stubborn, but he wasn’t heartless at all. Even with all cruelty he is permitted, he still had kindness within.

But then, why can’t Hoseok stop crying? 

Here he is curled in bed, hugging his knees while rocking back and forth. He misses his mom. And while stressing like this, he is always wishing he had his mom around. He sniffs her blanket, which still carries her scent after all these years. Hoseok has come to a point where every single living day becomes harder for him to forgive himself. He’s been a failure to his mother and to himself. He wishes his younger self was a bit more grateful for the love his mom contained for him even when he disappointed her repeatedly…even when he ran off with an alpha she disapproved of.

And while wallowing in his sorrows, he falls asleep in an empty stomach.

Hoseok heads to the station following the situation, head heavy with thoughts, guts bubbling with what’s to come. On the ride, he plans out the scenario — he’ll ask for Ji-ah first, lie about how he had to urgently leave to solve some mortgage problems, hopes she understands, and then ask for the jewelry. The trickier part was mentioning Jimin between the lines, because that would mean he would have to bring up the expensive dress. Will Ji-ah be able to tolerate this? His back up plan is simply falling to his knees and begging with all he has — possibly even coming back to work again for no pay if that’s what gets Ji-ah to agree. He has to get his mother’s necklace back no matter what he has to do for it. Even if it means being under the prying eyes of the young master.

Speaking of whom.

It was midnight already. But fortunately for him, the guards knew him well enough to let him through.

He sees Jimin as soon as he passes the security.

He swallows a lump of air, not knowing how to start.

“Come in.” Jimin welcomes him in a bit too warmly, to a mansion that seems eerily quiet, despite it being past bedtime and how lifeless it almost always was. Jimin looks like himself, except perhaps a little tired from work. His cheeks are flushed, his voice has a trembly tone here and there, but he didn’t seem sick or feverish. With the scandal he’s heard about, Hoseok supposes that it might be the stress getting to him.

Hoseok shakes his head when Jimin asks him to sit down, saying he will not bother him for long. On the brighter side, he could directly ask Jimin for the necklace instead of whatever fuss he might have faced around Ji-ah. On the other hand, her absence bothers him. Ji-ah did have a tendency to stay back in the headquarters some days, so nosing around will only waste his time.

Jimin calls him from upstairs, to help him go through his stuff. Hoseok was more used to tidying Jimin’s stuff anyway. Hoseok climbs the stairs and enters his room to find it partly empty — office table, chairs, and many other pieces of furniture, most of them gone.

“Don’t mind the mess. I’m moving my work to the roof house.”

The roof house. That was Ji-ah’s office. And it was off-limits.

“The roof-house?”

Jimin turns back to eye Hoseok, a feathery smile on his face, “I got promoted. Figured I needed more space.”

“Congrats.” Hoseok tries his hardest to not turn things awkward. “Where — do you think I can look for?”

“Uhm — I guess the closet, or under the bed? I’m not sure. I haven’t been around these days.”

“Should I call the maids? I guess they should know, probably.” Hoseok suggests.

“I’ve fired them.” Jimin replies nonchalantly. Hoseok loses his breath, frozen in place.

He’s not sure what he’s doing anymore, staring at a bunch of same-old black and white suits hanging down from the closet rods. It didn’t feel right, staying here any longer. In a place so big, so quiet, without having seen no one else but just the two of them. Internally, he was begging himself to forget the necklace and leave.

Suddenly, he feels something light and cool around his neck.

“Hold still.” Jimin tells him, hooking the chain of the necklace carefully, the tips of his fingers tickling Hoseok’s nape.

Hoseok gets up, met by his own reflection, watching light flicker from the diamond-encrusted pendant.

“Looks beautiful on you.” Jimin is behind him, breathlessly, staring at Hoseok’s reflection as well.

Hoseok looks around. “Thank you so much. For helping me.” he looks at the ground, avoiding Jimin’s penetrative gaze. “I — I think I’ll go now. I’ll be late.”

“It’s pretty late already. Why don’t you stay back?” Jimin suggests, his voice a little airy.

“I will miss my ride.” Hoseok tries excusing.

“I’ll have it refunded.”

“P-please,” Hoseok almost pleads, backing away as Jimin corners him, slowly, “I h-haven’t brought anything with me. I — I can’t stay…and your mom —”

“Mom’s in Kuwait. She’s not coming back.”

Hoseok flinches as Jimin’s palm slams the wall, trapping Hoseok by his arm. In shock, Hoseok finally grasps, “Jimin — you didn’t —”

“I replaced her. Had her transferred to another branch.” Jimin comes closer to Hoseok’s face, his breathing getting louder, whispering, “She was one of the problems, wasn’t she? Keeping you away from me?” He smiles, but Hoseok can’t miss what it gave away anymore. “So I got rid of her.”

Hoseok gasps, hitching, guts sinking beyond depths he’s never known. He is shaking, and powerless like a prey caught under the grip of a predator.

“It’s just you and me, in this house, right now, all alone, by ourselves.” He sings-songs, this time leaving a kiss on Hoseok’s temple, “And you will finally…be mine, hyungie.”

Hoseok notices the red glimmer in Jimin’s pupils, and he whimpers, weakened and defeated without struggle. 

Jimin finally lands his wet lips on Hoseok’s trembling ones.

Hoseok takes him, a part of him giving in because he is terrified, knowing Jimin was not going to hold himself back anymore, now that he has the omega trapped between his arms. Hoseok squeezes his misty eyes shut and accepts his fate.

The alpha was going into his rut.

And he was not going to spare the omega.

Chapter Text

It's push against pull. Hoseok tries to think for a while, close to panicking, planning whatever ridiculous move to get out of this cage however he can, leaving all his belongings behind, and heading straight to the nearest station. 

But he opts for talking it out. If that's what makes the alpha go a little easy on him. 

“J-Jimin…you’re not thinking this through.” Hoseok attempts, nearly out of breath from the kiss.

One look at the way he sours immediately makes him regret his choice of words. 

Jimin bores into him, making the omega feel smaller and smaller, “Why, hyung.” he asks, pridefully aware of the older’s static mind. “Why do you think I’m not thinking this through? Is it because I’m immature? Is it because I’m a dumb little pupper?”

“That’s no —”

“Then what is it, hyung?.” he asks, veins popping around his scent gland as the first wave of rut comes through. “Do you really believe I didn’t think this through?”

No. Everything about this is intentional. Hoseok already knows.

Jimin buries himself in omega’s neck, scenting him, all those years of pain and anger dampening Hoseok’s blouse. “Do you know what I have been going through all these years without you?”

The tip of his nose brushes against his scent gland, to which the omega lets out a soft moan, afraid that any word he lets out now will be used against him.

His chest rises and sinks, frantically, as Jimin pulls their bodies together, arms wrapping around his waist. This embrace, so tight and so snug, is challenging his strength. He softly grips his biceps, trying to loosen away only slightly, gasping loudly when he is pulled back and is scented more aggressively - in his crevices, to the other side of his neck, and on his exposed chest, leaving a kiss as he trails down.

“All I could think of — was you. Breeding you, mating you —” Hoseok could feel his hot frustrated breath against his skin, sending chills down his spine. “I want you so bad, hyung. So…so, bad. I can't hold it any longer.” 

“J-Jimin…Slow…Please.” he’s wheezing. He's been guilty about it for as long as he remembers, for putting Jimin through all the pain. He wants Jimin to understand. But Jimin won't let him go. 

Jimin starts to slide his blouse down, exposing his chest to the air, “Why should I?”

Hoseok is tossed to the bed before he can comprehend anything else, watching Jimin swallow hard as he stands in front, absorbing the sight of his naked, heaving chest, enhanced by the diamond locket laying between his mounds. He gets rid of his own shirt, showing off the new tattoo across his ribs, the intensity of the rut traveling down the ridges of his abdomen in waves.

He crawls over the omega, fully getting rid of his blouse, much to Hoseok’s helpless effort in keeping it on. 

Hoseok, being a bit insecure over how saggy they’ve become with age, crosses his arms over his chest, squirming under the alpha seeing him like this. But the younger, eyeing them like treats, makes him whimper, which grabs his unwanted attention even more.

Jimin pins his wrists to the sides of his head, fully exposing them for him to see in bliss, panting as his lips inch closer to Hoseok’s.

They kiss again, even more passionately than before. Their tongues swirl, and Jimin bites his lip, making love to every corner of Hoseok’s mouth. Jimin ties Hoseok’s wrists with one hand. He moans into Jimin’s mouth as a firm grip is placed on one of his mounds. He squeezes it, uses his two longer fingers to play with the bud.

“Jimin —” Hoseok gasps, breaking the kiss, watching Jimin’s eyes study the way his nipple becomes erect to his touch.

Jimin huffs as the rut hits closer, drool pouring from the corners of his mouth as he grits at the sight of his puffy dusk pearls.

He thrashes as soon as those lips wrap around his nipple, writhing hands tied by the alpha’s strong grip, whining as his stomach sinks. He squeezes his legs shut, unable to look at Jimin circling the dark bud with the tip of his tongue. He can’t stop making embarrassing noises, gasping loudly and squirming yet again when Jimin decides to continue the tease with his other mound.

His lips trail across his ribs and down to his stomach. He sinks his face, indulgently, as Hoseok convulses from the attention. It tickles — the soft grunts that escape Jimin’s mouth as he dips his tongue into his navel. Jimin loosens his grip around Hoseok’s wrists. He kisses down his waistline before gazing at the omega with half-lidded scarlet eyes.

Hoseok gasps and kicks defensively when Jimin pulls the band of his pants down, the pair of fluttering lips traveling down his legs as he’s exposed. Hoseok tries sealing his legs close, knees bent tightly to cover the little bit of dignity he had left. But Jimin tricks him by his harmless soft play, pecking his knees, smothering his hands up and down Hoseok’s sensitive thighs. As soon as he easens up to his touch, he betrays him, forcibly parting his legs and diving his head between his thighs. Eyes glued to Hoseok’s, he leaves love bites as he travels down, closer and closer to his most intimate area. 

“N-no!” Hoseok panics, hiding his last remaining dignity before Jimin’s curious mouth discovers it. “D-don’t — you can’t — do it there!” 

Jimin stares, stone-faced.

“You're out of your mind!” 

He smirks in acknowledgement, folding Hoseok in half, taking him by surprise while the wolf brushes the bridge of his nose against it, all for the omega to see in horror as his mouth parts to devour it.

It’s weird. He can feel his soft wet tongue wiggling in. It’s devilishly long. And it feels blasphemous. He’s never been eaten out before. And to see the alpha taste it like the best thing ever makes him feel faint. Masters shouldn’t be eating out their servants. Fuck. If Hoseok knew if this was going to happen, he may have even excused himself in the toilet. He can’t feel bad about this, and Hoseok’s losing his mind. He’s not supposed to enjoy this. He is not enjoying this. But why can’t he stop this? Why was his own body not listening to him?

He can’t even think straight, thrashing under Jimin’s hold as the tip of his tongue brushes against a very deep and very sweet spot. He can feel his hole puckering greedily under Jimin’s raw sight and it’s the most embarrassed he’s ever been. He pulls him by his hair, desperately trying to detach himself out of his mouth. But that makes Jimin ever more eager. 

In defeat, he covers his face, unable to deal with whatever’s happening.

Jimin eventually takes pity on his now inflexible body. No inch of his skin is uncherished. Jimin loves admiring, sucking marks on the innermosts of his thighs and his ass, which he passionately spreads with his palms. He gently drops Hoseok’s shaking legs on the mattress, watching Hoseok pant and cover his face with shaky hands. With hearts in his eyes, he gazes at the way the omega’s stomach flinches as his body absorbs the shock of this affection. His breaths fasten, destructively getting rid of his own jeans that can’t contain him any longer, flushed red on the tip, leaking, pulsating violently, with a knot forming on his base.

Hoseok dares to peek when he hears a zip, only to swallow hard when he sees it. It looks — dangerous. 

Gosh. It looks almost as thick as his wrists. It’s dusky pink, with a bright red tip that’s spurting obscenely. It dribbles down the length, which is slightly curved to the top, bumping into the ridges of the veils coiling it. The knot is the size of a fist. 

How did that thing even fit into his pants??

This is the first time a knot has ever looked inhuman to him. 

…why is this making him throb??

He can’t believe himself. 

Hoseok crawls back instinctively, but is harshly pulled by his legs as a loud suppressed growl comes out of Jimin’s chest, causing him to finally burst into sobs. Jimin continues where they left off, licking the omega’s juices. Hoseok couldn’t see how the alpha found pleasure in this — lapping his mouth all over the hole of an omega who couldn’t produce slick anymore while neglecting his own furious length. Hoseok sees marks starting to bloom purple all over his body. He already feels claimed like this, especially with Jimin’s tongue shoved deep in his twitching hole. 

He never thought a tongue could go this deep. Heck! He’s never been eaten out before. Yijeong used to pump his knot a few times and called it quits. Is being eaten out normal? Jimin does it too passionately. He can’t possibly taste that good!?

Hoseok shivers when Jimin finally lets it rest, leaving him gaping around air. Jimin likes to stare, spreading his hole by his thumbs, studiously watching his own saliva bubbling out of the omega. He traces the hole with his middle finger, throbbing under his fingertips as soft melodious sobs fill his ears. He spurts precum again, on the sheets this time. Trying to hold himself back just a little more, he wraps his free hand around his girth, stroking it to the rhythm of the omega’s fluttering hole.

Jimin thrusts his middle finger in, making Hoseok shriek and quickly grab the wrist of his working hand. “P-Please…no more…” Hoseok doesn’t even know what he’s begging for. He feels like he’s about to cum even though he can’t even produce slick anymore. It’s humiliating to be seen like this.

Jimin comes face-to-face again, using his cum-covered hand to cup Hoseok’s face and kiss his sobs away.

Hoseok’s whines are muffled as another finger enters his hole, fucking it brutally. He can’t with the noise — it sounds so wet and filthy. His grip around Jimin’s wrist tightens but that only makes the alpha put more fingers in, thrusting deeper and deeper. And he feels it — Jimin’s rock hard and fuming length lying on his stomach as he strokes it to his mewls. His precum pools into Hoseok’s navel, overflowing. He frots against his stomach. Just thinking about feeling all the ridges of this veiny cock very soon makes him moan.

Hoseok feels a scratch from within, nearly jolting him. It feels familiar, like the longing memory of one's enemy. He feels so close, heat pooling in his guts, warmth laying on his stomach, fingers stuffed in his hole, too dazed and hot to count how many. It feels like he’s about to burst.

Jimin’s fingers keep rubbing that torturously swelling spot inside him, the kiss deepening and his grinding becoming more desperate the faster his pace turns. It’s like Hoseok’s body turns into an ocean wave greater than man. His back arches — it’s like shocks of electricity rendering his entire body paralyzed. It’s like he can’t feel his own arms and legs anymore. Something gushes out of Hoseok at full force as Jimin swallows every anguished sound out of him. 

He slumps back to the mattress, plopping down on his own release, shaking uncontrollably. Jimin fucks out the rest of his slick, his hand now coated in a translucent white sheen. Hoseok can’t tell if this is real or an abstract state of mind, as stars float across the high ceiling. He’s too fucked out and exhausted to notice that he just produced slick. He’s gaping — it’s so wide and open, so empty. It’s protruding. 

It’s so hard to keep his eyes open and not pass out. He barely notices Jimin hugging his legs to his chest, splitting them apart, and hanging them over his shoulders. Jimin’s eyes flashes red. He only flinches awake when Jimin taps the tip of his cock on his loosened hole.

“No—I can’t—” Hoseok protests, squirming, blabbering, but nothing coherent enough to stop Jimin. He struggles, but is quickly embraced so tightly that he runs out of breath. It’s too close, and the astronomical size of it in comparison to the widest he’s ever been fucked open sends him over the edge. Not even five fingers altogether prepared him for this.

With his legs in the air, he’s fully exposed. He can’t stop shaking, and Jimin is eyeing him like some sick entertainment. He couldn’t believe himself while thinking so, but the dick makes him feel drastically small. It can't be real. Jimin rubs his length against his entrance. His lower body starts spasming in stress. They both watch as Jimin lines his tip to the hole. Hoseok panics and blurts out a bunch of nonsense, only to be silenced again by Jimin’s forceful passionate kiss. His hole sucks the tip in, with a mind of its own, betraying Hoseok as the rest of the length enters his warm, slicked and aroused insides.

Hoseok gasps out of the alpha’s hold, back arching when it hits the deepest corners of his entrance. It doesn’t hurt. It aches. Jimin is close to his ear, huffing almost animalistically, sweat beads running down his forehead as he bottoms out.

“You — too tight.” Jimin hisses, groaning right against his neck, muffling himself.

“I’m sorry —” he’s cut off by his own moan. Jimin is the first he’s had in a while, and to take a cock this ridiculously huge made him feel stuffed beyond words can describe. He’s so full, impaled around his length. He’s melting. It’s so hot. He can feel all of it — the way blood pumped through it. It’s like his insides were memorizing every precise ridge and shape of it. Jimin’s grunts so close to his scent gland — it makes him tremble. His mother’s necklace was the only thing protecting him against the sharp fangs. He merely feels it brush against the skin of his scent gland. The soft bruises throughout his body start to turn into tingling bite marks as a more conscious part of the alpha is forsaken in this pleasure. 

There’s a deafening wail in his head, getting louder and louder as one thrust turns to three. Jimin growls again, aggressively sniffing him. He grazes his teeth on it, but tastes the metallic chain of the necklace instead. It turns him more and more desperate, his deep moans converting into drawn-out whines. His grip around Hoseok tightens, lifting his body off the mattress as if the omega was a doll made of feathers, the movement of his hips becoming more erratic in pace. His knot was swelling and his cock was growing inside the omega’s heat.

To be hugged so snugly by the omega — Jimin could cry. It was squeezing him, sucking the soul out of him. Even though Hoseok tries to ease him away, his hole grips around his length like it can never let go. His hips buckle as he struggles to ignore the cramping of his own legs and the ache spreading to his crotch. He feels so good. And he wants to make Hoseok feel good too. The omega is hesitant, but deep down, the alpha knows he wants it. He knows there’s a suppressed wolf within Hoseok — it wanted to reach out for his alpha. He can sense it from the way Hoseok clenches around him. He wants to let it free, softly biting the scent gland again. His canines tingle, craving the taste of milk, vanilla, and iron, but he holds back at his own will. 

Hoseok rocks back and forth with every thrust, and so does the bed frame, the creaking of hardwood against the marble floor mingling with their sounds. His neck and collarbones prickled with bite marks. Hoseok wants to cover himself up before it’s too late — before Jimin regrets this. But something pulls him away. It’s like an awakening of something he never knew he had in him. It’s like he wants to be claimed. It’s like all ability to rationally reason with this was being vaporized off his body. He feels so hot. His mind is a fog. Is he even against this anymore?

Jimin cuts every sense in Hoseok’s mind short with a stroke of his hips after another. He can feel it — the spot that makes Hoseok’s eyes widen and sparkle with ecstasy. It’s fluttering on his tip. Like their heartbeats, they pulse in sync. Jimin wants to get deeper inside Hoseok. He wants to be molded with Hoseok as one, like they were always meant to be.

The pace gets sharper as Jimin rams deeper and deeper. Hoseok has lost control of his voice and his hands scramble to grab onto the bed sheets. Eyes rolling to the back of his head, his hair sweeps the mattress as the alpha sits on the bed with the omega in his embrace, drilling into his half-conscious body. Some things drop to the floor with a clank, but nothing grabs the attention of the two wolves who only looked at each other, singing moans and groans into each other's lips as the tips of their noses touch. Hoseok bounced on his lap, bonelessly, while Jimin continued like an unstoppable force, having wrapped his arms tightly around the omega.

Hoseok’s skin was soft against Jimin’s face, which the younger had a little stubble on. It was leaving burns on him, turning him more sensitive than he already was. He got dizzier and dizzier with all the unthinkable ways Jimin played with him, hitting him in spots he’s never felt before as he struggled to stay upright. It’s like his mind co-exists in heaven and earth. He can’t think. It’s like he’s always wanted Jimin. All the years prior to this moment are like punishment he had to endure. And this obedience that the alpha has extracted from his half-dead wolf was a price he’s paying for this immense pleasure. It’s driving him crazy. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, or how to live after experiencing something as altering as this.

Wetness. It’s endless. It flows.

Hoseok arches his back in a way he hasn’t since he quit dancing, the wolf within his body fully awakened and on the verge of hysteria as pleasure travels down his body in waves. Water crawls out of his eyes as his insides grip around the alpha’s length, drawing out the most prolonged and exhausted sounds of content escape his o-shaped mouth.

Jimin grunts in pain, losing his breath from the way the omega locks him in. Slick coats his length and drips on his swollen knot seductively. He can feel all the blood in his body rush down to his lower half. It’s as if holding back any longer will make him lose his mind.

The omega opens his eyes to meet the alpha’s bulging ones, veins popping around the corners of his red-pupiled eyes.

The first pump pushes in and his screams echo the room, enough to be heard through the door.

His stomach, it feels so heavy. He can feel it traveling down the alpha’s length and pumping into him. Another pump pushes in, and this time, his stomach feels uncomfortably tight. But it’s more the merrier for his insatiable insides. It’s like greed, devilishly sucking the alpha’s seeds till his face turns pale. In weakness, Hoseok has the urge in him to caress Jimin’s snotty face. Round lips. Puffy eyes. Reddened cheeks. He will always love this innocence.

He hugs Jimin’s face to his chest as the last pump inflates him. And it feels like he’s about to burst. So he muffles himself by kissing Jimin’s beautiful locks of hair. And finally, his raving wolf is satisfied, soft growls echoing his chest as his insides ease around the knot.

Jimin lends his shoulder to Hoseok as he dozes, rocking him soothingly as his cock finally slips out. It pours continuously out of the omega’s throbbing hole — both of their releases. He takes his ass in his palms and spreads it gently, making Hoseok hiss and bite his shoulder as everything gushes out.

“Your butt is so cute, hyung.” Jimin whispers with a not-so-subtle grin, making the omega hide his face aggressively, “It fits perfectly in my hands.”

“D-don’t.” Hoseok mumbles, sternly, and it's the first time Jimin listens to him today, softly kissing his shoulder as he lets him lie down gently. 

Jimin throws himself over Hoseok, wrapping his arms around his waist as his head lies against his chest. Hoseok notices that his pupils were still glaring red — it's one of the few things he comprehends as he recovers from the fog. He takes into the silky head of hair that is sprawled over his chest. The way his fingers curl and the locks and massage his scalp is almost instinctive. Jimin leans to his touch and purrs against his bare skin. It tickles. 

Hoseok’s eyes land on his own flickering necklace, and like its weight that falls around his neck, he stops himself and wonders if he has lost his mind at the sight of Jimin. His omega — it’s alive. But did this have to be how? His heart flutters. It was beginning to ache now that he’s empty. It’s like he can still feel it rearranging his guts, pulsating angrily, almost as violent as the throbbing of his own heart.

“You’re still in your rut.”

“Hmm.” Jimin hugs him tighter, and as much as Hoseok thinks he shouldn’t give in, he just can’t help it. It’s hard to not adore someone with the giddiest grin on his face right now.

“How…how long will this last?” Hoseok asks, tracing the rim of his pendant, heat rushing to his ears whenever Jimin’s lips flutter even slightly against his skin.

“I…I'll take suppressants. Don’t worry. Suppressants don’t work on me but as long as I have you, I should be calm.” Jimin responds, lifting his face. Gosh. He’s beautiful. Why can’t Hoseok stop himself from finding him beautiful?

It becomes more difficult with a faint fragile smile painted across his face, looking at Hoseok like the reason he wakes up everyday. “For a long long time. I’ve been wanting you for so long, Hobi hyung. I don’t even know how I survived without you for all these years. But I’m not putting you through it.”

“Jimin.” Hoseok stops him, sealing his eyes shut. “The imprint. Your wolf imprinted on me. You wouldn’t have been in so much pain if I…” he chokes, “If I weren’t so irresponsible. It was foolish of me to think an imprint would just disappear with time. I was inappropriate. Everything we had between us, it just wasn’t right.”

Hoseok dares to look at Jimin again, only to be scoffed at.

He loses his vulnerable exterior immediately, and the ongoing rut state of mind becomes more visible in defense. “Wow. You really are something else, aren’t you?” Jimin’s eyes glimmered red again. Hoseok wonders if he should regret what he said, as his breath starts to hitch. Jimin needed to hear it — he convinced himself. “How do you even blame yourself here, hyung? Do you not get it?”

Hoseok’s heart thumps. Jimin has a gleam to his eyes that makes him too scared to look away.

“I don’t think you understand how much I want you. How much…I’ve always wanted you. Honestly, I found this cute at first. But the more you talk like this, the more it pisses me off.” he says, unnervingly calm despite the anger laced in his words. “And I know you want me too. I felt it. I know you know it, deep inside. So I don’t understand why you think we’re not meant to be. Tell me, hyung.” 

Jimin holds his face, grazing his fingers over his old mating bond with intent before he does, causing Hoseok to shiver. “I don’t know, Jimin. I don’t — I can’t have feelings for you. I just can’t. It feels wrong.” his voice cracks, as he watches the same old jittering lips and trembling pupils, now red with fury. It breaks Jimin’s heart and he knows it. He hates himself for causing the younger so much pain then and he hates that he’s doing it all over again.

Jimin’s gaze turns ice-cold again, as if he’s finally grown numb. But then, his lips curl into a shocking smile as he swallows a visible lump in his throat. “I can’t live without you hyung. It kills me.” he whimpers out. “You think I’m being silly and not thinking the idea of us through but my whole world revolves around you. Always has. Everything I’ve ever done, I always want to do with you. I hear you when you’re not around. Smell your scent in things that remind me of you. I’ll never stop thinking about you.”

Hoseok takes a deep breath, witnessing a familiar wave arousing through Jimin’s body as he suppresses a grunt, hovering over him.

“Shit. My wolf’s always trailing behind your scent. They chain me to my bed because they’re afraid I’ll claim a servant and let all their trust fund money go to waste. But I want you. I need you. And my wolf will never stop until you’re mine.”

“Jimin. I’m barren.” Hoseok interrupts. “There’s no future with me. Think of the company you’re inheriting. You think you’ll always want me but you won’t. Not when I let you down. Your family — they will never accept me. I’m just not right for you. There are so many suitors in line for you who are better than me and you know it.” 

“I really don’t like how you’re ignoring everything I said, hyung. It’s like you don’t even listen.” Hoseok stills as Jimin grips his shoulder, flipping him on his stomach at once. The alpha weighs him down on the mattress, the pressure against his chest cutting the air short. “I don’t care if you can’t give me pups. I don’t care whatever the fuck happens to that company. I don’t care about having some shitty investors’ daughter or son on my arm.”

Jimin inches closer to his ears and Hoseok is weak, with his wrists gripped painfully around his back, gasping onto the sheets as warm breath tickles his nape.

“I want you. Only you. Because I — I love you, hyung.”

It’s like the world has stopped spinning when he hears it. Too soon — he thinks to himself. Or perhaps even out of his mind. Hoseok does not want to put any weight to those words but they do, holding him down with passion as he twists his neck, only to be captured by Jimin’s lips again. He’s dizzy, again, with Jimin’s length pillowed between his ass as his tongue licks and explores every corner of his mouth. They swirl. They dance. And Jimin’s teeth force their way in if the omega wriggles ever so slightly out of his hold. When they detach, Hoseok’s eyes are brimming and his own tongue chases after Jimin’s, tips connected by a string of their saliva. 

“You don’t love me yet. But that’s ok.” their foreheads touch while Jimin cages the older by his back, the kind of grin that shows off the war between virtuous devotion and ruthless sadism painted across his face, “Because you will learn to love me. I will help you love me.”

It goes in easily.

The first thrust feels like grace. The second is like punishment.

The squelching sounds get louder and louder as he fucks the rest of the cum out of his hole.

“I know I’m being selfish, but I can’t lose you again. I want you to be mine, hyung. I really do. So badly, it makes me go crazy.”

Another harsh thrust. They get more and more furious.

Hoseok feels his face morph into an ugly expression as he stuffs himself on a pillow, mewling as Jimin whispers things he can only perceive as insane to his ears before licking his lobes, causing him to writhe around his length. But the struggle arouses the wolf even more as he feels it swell inside him, repeatedly punching his sweet spot.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how tight you are. Gosh you take me so well.” Jimin moans to his ears as he trails down his spine, grunting as the gold chain of the necklace gets in the way of the scent gland.

It’s crazy how Hoseok forgets how to think each and every time. It’s like he goes more stupid with every erratic slam of those sharp hips against his ass. The room sounds sloppy. It’s filthy. It’s sticky. And somehow, he’s aroused again, and nearly starts to miss when his wolf used to be half-dead.

Jimin admires him before the 2nd wave of rut hits full force, parting the omega’s mouth with his free hand as incoherent babbles leave his mouth. “Please be like this for now, hyung. You’ve already hurt me enough. Please don’t think anymore.”

The loud growl shakes him as his wrists are gripped more painfully. The length goes in deeper places and another knot begins to swell at the base.

The alpha pleads, “Please let me love you. Please let me have you. Please — be mine.”

“Sl — slow down! Please! I can’t take it!” Hoseok winces, pleading, trying to helplessly escape the violent pace, sobbing into the alpha’s mouth as he’s shut up by another harsh kiss, drawing out blood from his lips this time.

The bed rocks just as madly as their bodies do, ear-piercing shrieks unable to dilute their attention on each other. And Hoseok gets teary — he’s lost count. He’s scared for himself and Jimin, but this dance of pain and pleasure blinds him too much to care. It’s dangerous. It’s a peculiar feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically, and it overwhelms him boundlessly. He never knew hurting could be this good. It feels sinful.

The alpha, feral, ignores his request more distastefully than before. It’s like Jimin was fucking 13 years of pent-up frustrations in and out of his body. It’s weird because this is simultaneously the most attention he’s ever received, being explored, gazed, and kissed in places he never thought, while a throbbing rod fucks into him and makes his body react in ways his brain shuts off to comprehend, shaping him so pliantly as his eyes roll and see fireworks.

He isn’t even sure when it happens — perhaps it’s when the alpha lets go of his wrists. His fingerprints have been tattooed onto his skin. Jimin, who is barely recognizable, turns the omega to his side, hating the way he couldn’t observe every wince and scrunch on that loving face. He splits his legs and dangles one over his shoulder, slipping in just as powerfully as before without hesitation. 

He can’t tell how it’s possible, but it’s like he can feel every detail more than before in this compromising position. His wrists hurt and are too limp to fight. His body briefly sparks with life when a strong palm squeezes his ass roughly. The alpha smirks while he kneads it, almost like he’s taunting Hoseok. And he goes deeper and deeper with sharper, more menacing thrusts as he relentlessly grunts against Hoseok’s thigh on his shoulder.

And as odd as his wolf was, it wails as his soul leaves his body once more, coming all over the alpha like he never has in his entire life, twitching as the younger refuses to let him go, in his same brutal pace. Hoseok is already turned on in the midst of coming and he never knew he could do that. 

He’s crying, too tired and too much of a mess. He’s horridly sticky. And it makes him squirm even more when the alpha deliberately leaves him gaping wide, just to witness, with sadistic adoration, his thick seeds flowing out of the reddened and abused hole.

His ears go deaf, still trying to recover from the simultaneous orgasms while being fucked so enthusiastically. It’s the relentless attention to every inch of his skin, the sinfully plump lips that tease him, and the hands that caress him, along with the primal desire that pours out of the glaring eyes — it finally breaks him. He feels crazy, with eyelids getting heavier every thrust, and the anticipating heat pooling in his guts.

It’s a darting jab that stirs him awake. Eyes wide, bulging out of their sockets while it happens. It’s numb initially, and then it tingles. With a haunting scream stuck to his throat, his cheeks moisten with tears. They’re there, punctured into his erratically pulsing vein. His breath feels short as he heaves, blood trickling around his neck and staining his mother’s precious diamond pendant.

Bravely, he turns to the alpha with bloodshot eyes, unable to look at him without betrayal, despite having expected it sooner or later. On the contrary, his wolf hums in satisfaction, an experience that had become hauntingly unfamiliar to him. The calmness of this otherwise feral spirit, who tormented his body and mind for things out of his control, is a sensation that makes his heart weep no matter how conflicting.

Jimin licks to soothe it, his brutal pace having turned more merciful on his body. For a while, the piercing gaze transforms back to its doe-like shape, bloodied lips trembling at the absorption of what he has done.

And right after, it’s brutally ramming the contents of his insides again, drawing out the most airy, agonizing moans out of his lungs. He never leaves the company, grunting softly as he carefully tends to the fresh mark. So gentle despite the strong grip around his waist. Despite what makes the omega feel like he’s being split into two. Despite the bed violently screeching against the tiled floor.

The next thing that awakens him is his heart leaping out of his chest, scarred, as one of legs of the bed slide and cause their mattress to tilt down.

It’s one of the only few countable times Jimin halts, stroking the omega’s neck to be cautious of the fresh scar. And as caring as he purely is, the swell of pride behind the act is visible too, indicated by the way he pulses from the adrenaline of it all, inside him, pumping his knot.

With shock settling in his body as his stomach grew, dopamine rushing through his veins as he milked the knot, Hoseok finally sees a longing black vision.

.

.

.

.

.

When brightness sparks Hoseok’s eyes open, his head feels torturously heavy. As if he had rocks for brains, he can’t recall for a while — this eerily familiar atmosphere, the peach hue that feels oddly nostalgic, being cuddled up in sheets and comforters as warm snores tickle his scent gland, the coolness from his mother’s gold necklace that has unjustly witnessed the obscenity behind this all, and the ache which was spreading in a feverish form, rendering him strengthless.

It has softened slightly, though it still pulsed to show signs of life. Hoseok already feels so empty without it. His body, it feels weird in ways he’s never experienced before. 

His omega has always been very insatiable. He remembers it tiring he-who-shall-not-be-named in his heats till the alpha was limp and stuck to the mattress for the rest of the days. He’s always been a little embarrassed about how much his wolf loved sex. Perhaps he would care less if it didn’t cause him troubles. And it was rather shameful that omegas like him chase pleasure so much. He’s always thought his hypersexuality was rooted in an underlying condition that eventually led to infertility and his wolf dying.

Well, he was certainly wrong about the latter. Overridden by pleasure, he was overstimulated and unable to grasp his wolf waking up again, but it doesn’t surprise him that getting fucked this hard finally brought it back to life. 

Let alone by someone who was somehow more sexually starved than him.

Jimin has a strong alpha bloodline. At least it made more sense.

It's not invoking the same emotions any other circumstance would have. Because with Jimin asleep peacefully on him, only flinching due to the rut from time to time, he has too much to think about. 

It's hard to believe it, even when the pain down his neck is killing him. Jimin was so — determined. No matter what Hoseok raised to provoke him into stopping this. And as much as he tells himself that this is wrong, a wicked part of him wants to participate in the deviance once more, even with everything it physically puts him through. Because would it really be wise to not fully someone who managed to resurrect his wolf? Would it not be ridiculous to deny love from someone who has clearly put a lot of effort to be like this, tangled up on the cool floor instead of the broken bed he passed out on?

It’s all so overwhelming. 

He notices a plastic grocery bag, with snacks, cup noodles, and a sticky note saying, “Sorry :( I tried my best to order your favourites”

Hoseok’s not a fan of instant food. It’s true. It reminds him of his struggling years in Seoul. But he also takes mercy on the fact that Jimin is in rut, can’t cook, and has no servants.

It’s a self-heating stew, the one Hoseok, out of all options, unarguably loves enough to finally burst into tears.

Jimin got some yaksik for him as a sweet treat as well.

How is he supposed to handle this? Being desired to this extent? Unconditionally? Will this last? It can’t? Can it?

It’s all snots as he slurps and nibbles before the alpha wakes up, who fortunately slept incredibly well to not witness him like this.

How will this ever work? How could Jimin act so irrationally? Why is he—acting like this?

Hoseok still feels a bit drained to move around. Jimin has thrown himself around his waist, deep in his own thoughts while he gently massages one of Hoseok’s calves —his first sign of life. Hoseok feels like he still isn’t in the right space yet, too mentally fatigued to be grounded in reality or think calculatingly. Right now, while nothing happens, something feels eerily missing. It’s the same feeling he gets when his mind plunges him into his self-identity that feels incomplete and worthless. Except it doesn’t upset him. Rather, it makes him question why he exists, or why he is experiencing this.

He looks down on Jimin, who holds one of his feet on his palm, gently squeezing it to grasp how easily it fits in his hand. Hoseok has always been horrible at saying “no”, especially when it’s something that makes him feel less deprived, or worse, when it’s something he is not supposed to have for himself. It’s not worth arguing for what goes against what his body and mind really wants. He’s tired. And he’s scared. Of what this says about him, Of what others will think about this. Of the Park family’s affluence. Of Jimin, if he ever said no.

“My suppressants. It’s wearing off.” Jimin whispers.

Hoseok takes a deep breath, curling up, facing the other side. 

Hoseok lets out a trembling exhale, recalling all the times the alpha grazed his gland, only to hesitate time and time again before finally succumbing. He simply wishes — that his heart tortured him no longer by the thoughts of being used and abandoned again. So that the war raging in his conflicted mind would end. It’s hard, with everything that has ever taken place in his life. And he knows it’s not fair to Jimin. To be thought of like this, or to be put through the torture of Hoseok’s unraveling mind.

Jimin inhales, “Hyung…am I that bad?”

Hoseok twists his neck heretically. 

He swallows, “Y-you keep — thinking…It’s about me? It’s about u-us? I-isn’t it?” He sounds so broken. It hurts him. “Is it — is it so hard for you to imagine a future with me?”

Hoseok…can't answer. 

Jimin is the most ideal man. A perfect alpha. The Park family and conglomerate's precious gem. It's a fantasy for any omega, no matter what kind, to dream of a future with him. That's it. A fantasy. Hoseok looks up to the ceiling and pictures himself among the vast galaxy, asking fate face-to-face why it played with him so cruelly, sending a perfect alpha like Jimin to be head-over-heels for him in the most incompatible circumstance.

“It's…hard. Accepting this. You are the most lovable being in this world, Jimin. But it's hard to accept the way you want me.”

Jimin's nostrils flare, and his breath visibly hitches, but he remains calm to listen.

Hoseok turns around again, unable to face him while explaining himself, “Had I met you in my 20s. Had I been a little younger. Had I been a bit richer. Had I…had not known you before…perhaps accepting you would be a lot easier for my heart.”

Jimin lets the silence settle the words. It’s hard to be reminded again and again that the only person he ever wants doesn’t want him the way he does. But Jimin wanted Hoseok to know, above everything else, that he respects him. Despite being selfish. Despite being stupid. A younger version of him would have imagined rose petals and satin veils. He’d picture glowing faces, in their happiest place ever while the rest of the world was just a silent background that didn’t interfere with how they fulfilled each other. “I want you to think I’m worth it, hyung.”

“You are.” He answers, fidgeting with the pendant of his necklace, “But I’m not. That’s what I think, and I’m afraid I’ll never stop thinking so, as long as I remain next to you.”

Another drop of silence falls.

“I wish you didn’t feel this way…”

Hoseok feels himself choking up.

Jimin lies next to him, wrapping his arm around Hoseok’s waist, waiting for the next wave of rut to hit anytime soon, “If only there was a way I could reduce your pain. For you to see yourself the way I see you.”

Hoseok wishes that too. Jimin and his selfless self who wishes for Hoseok’s pain to go away while he himself experiences a brutal one. He’s so ungrateful to have Jimin. He can’t deserve him.

Jimin laughs, reminiscing, “When I first had my rut, my wolf was screaming for you. I broke chains that were meant to restrain me, tracking your scent, running naked into our yard, wherever you wandered the last time before you left. Mom finally realized sending you away wasn’t a good idea.” his voice gets more raspy as he goes on, indicating his state.

Hoseok feels Jimin’s low suppressed grunts on his nape, which sends vibrations down his spine in the form of arousal. Biting his lip, he squeezes his thighs, unable to stop the slick that is already starting to leak between them. As ashamed as he should be, his wolf doesn’t stop, responding to every one of the alpha’s carnal expressions as coherence begins to evaporate off his mind. Jimin is the only one who can make him feel like this — heated, like sparks under his skin with every inch those fingertips trace.

He continues, grazing the tip of his nose on the sharp collarbones, “She’d gotten me medicine to get rid of my imprint on you” he admits, scoffing, “That was the last straw for me. I thought how dare she. Fooled her into thinking I was taking it. But my recurring ruts gave away.” he licks, startling Hoseok. His eyes were back to scarlet again. His grip around Hoseok’s waist grew tighter. “Your old shirt was losing your scent. It never made up for your physical presence. All the other omegas I spent ruts with ignored me chanting your name until they couldn’t. Merely being around you could trigger my rut. Even the thought of you does.”

Jimin is starting to rant, reflecting the turmoil within him aggravating as the wolf expands his body, turning an amorously speechless Hoseok on his back, who was also growing nervous in the midst of this. “I was heartbroken when you left again. I didn’t even want to return your necklace. But I knew it was important to you. I figured. You wore it alot. But then, the dress you returned. Had her strictly told to not dry clean it to let your scent flood my nostrils.” Jimin pushes his head into the clavicle, smelling it like the finest fragrance on earth. Hoseok stretches his neck, granting him access. A contradiction to yesterday, when he thought he had a chance, however slim, of stopping this madness. The fresh, aching numbness around his scent gland mocked him in return.

Jimin sits up, placing himself between Hoseok’s legs as he lifts them to his shoulders. “I figured the only way I could ever have you. The only way I could make you mine. And the only way you’d be willing to take me…is if I unleashed myself…” Jimin takes the sole of Hoseok’s foot under the massaging tips of his thumb, letting his lips land a kiss on his toes as glaring red eyes pierce through the omega’s soul.

“Jimin…what are you…?”

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

Hoseok throws him a furrowed, confused look.

“I’m…I’m still not holding myself back. I’m gonna let it go. If that’s the only way you fully realize how much you mean to me. Because that’s the only way I’ll get to express how much— I really — w-want you…” he ends, swallowing air as the last bit of words struggle to leave his mouth.

Hoseok accepts his fate, sealing his eyes shut as he’s aggressively scented, slightly arching his back because no matter what, he can never get used to this devoted attention.

And so he embraces, anticipatingly.

Hoseok writhes to the torture of his nipples. He screams as bleeding marks of teeth are scattered throughout his body. He whines as his sweet spot is played with again and again like his body was a toy. And he spasms as seeds flood him. On and on in all kinds of positions. And he loses his mind more and more with each of them. His body is an object of worship. His flesh is sacrificial meat. And the echoes of his voice across the halls of the mansion are mantras, chanting only one name through his lips.

He rocks back and forth, on his back, on his stomach, and while carried. It pumps into him, inflates his stomach, and then pours out of him. Like an endless ritual.

The alpha constantly dives between his legs, spreading him apart, kneading the mounds that are groped and spanked, and attaching his mouth, drinking his slick like holy nectar. He was sore, of giving and receiving, yet he pulsed for more, heart sinking to his stomach from the barest sense of his veiny length rubbing against him, making him gape and make obscene sounds he’d always assumed he’s too old for.

They started at sunset and watched as the city lights blinked off from their view. Hoseok is intoxicated, unable to differentiate pleasure or pain as his limp body is handled and pressed against the glass. Then it slips in, so easily despite never loosening him up enough, and Hoseok ends up sounding like a whore with his uncontrollable, broken voice.

In a brief moment of alertness, he is able to see his body in the glass’s reflection. Marked red, purple and blue. But beneath the colors, are saggy chest, loosened stomach, stripes that formed with age, and everything that has always made him avoid the mirror. Once upon a time, he was ungrateful, always conscious of the way he never was able to bulk up the same way his peers did no matter how hard he danced. In this reflection, with dazed eyes and tear-stained cheeks, he observes, and compares himself to the alpha’s toned youthful body.

The doubts brim. Why him? Why not anyone else? What has he ever done to end up in this mess?

Strong arms run down his body, fondling his chest, red eyes glaring at every frown and bliss on the omega’s expression as he squeezes his mounds. It’s as if the alpha reads his mind, and physically shows his disapproval, ramming into his hole. Hoseok couldn’t hate himself in peace, not when the alpha is constantly inside him, sniffing his gland, teeth digging into his flushed skin to hold back his own moans. Every contact poured from a kind of passion that was borderline obsession. It’s like the wolf couldn’t get enough, and that riled it even more.

There’s a sticky feeling to his body that Hoseok is slightly disgruntled internally, but most of his mind is incoherence. There’s an intoxicated sensation to it — the kind he could tell would make his morning a hell but he relishes in it regardless. He’s not against his body anymore. His wolf is the most alive it’s been in the past 10 years, even with that other guy in the picture. What’s his name? Hoseok can’t remember. He doesn’t want to. His lips blabber for Jimin. His mind chants for alpha. And his wolf begs for pups. It’s impossible with his condition. But he can’t think. The temporary feeling of fullness that the seeds filling up his hole provides is too blissful to settle for tormenting realities.

A particular hit makes his body melt as he spills all the energy for the day out. He’s limp, held up by the alpha as his limbs dangle in the air. The thrusts rock his body into faintness. His throat is scratchy from all the noises he’s been making. A broken groan releases from him as his eyes shut down from the weight of the overstimulation. Blur is the last thing that wishes him night.

.

.

.

.

.

The next afternoon is relatively calm, thanks to Jimin increasing his dosages. After strongly insisting, he was able to get Jimin to carry him to a bath, something he had to settle for after failing to stand up straight. Of course, Jimin, like the perfect alpha he is, is strong and conscious enough to run hot water for him, despite complaining in his ears about Hoseok giving him cramps.

He melts in Jimin’s arms, turning to face him, weakly caressing him with a lot of unfinished thoughts behind his eyes. There’s something he wants to say. Something he’d preferred to think about over anything else. Something he hopes the younger would agree to. Yet, something he’s too nervous to blurt out in the fear of upsetting him. It takes endless prayer to beg he is understood — where he was coming from. And why he wants what he does. 

“Your rut. It’s coming to an end.”

“Hmm.” Jimin groans, having become somewhat non-verbal as he adoringly looks at Hoseok, frowning in pleasure.

Hoseok’s breath gets harsher as water splashes around them.

A part of him simply wants to relish in this slow, relaxing way their bodies move against one another. Hoseok doubts for one that he could never experience this with anybody else. Jimin fits him too perfectly. And he could get addicted to the way his innocent, cherubic face morphs into that of pure lust.

But he can’t set this aside. Not with the scar that was already starting to heal.

When he reveals it, it’s as if time has frozen. Jimin, with his expressive face, finds it hard to conceal how it makes him feel. There’s no definite answer. Not that Jimin responds with any. But it puts him through a conflict that nearly makes him sick.

Regardless, he loves Hoseok. That’s all that matters. Nothing can stop that. Nothing can prove that wrong.

He makes the omega wrap his legs around his waist, frantically thrusting. Exploring every inch. Every corner. Memorizing Hoseok. Doing everything to remember this as long as he can.

Hoseok is his, always and forever.

Jimin can’t help it.

He’s too selfish. He’s too prideful. He wants Hoseok too much.

He just can’t help it. 

He already has Hoseok, gripping his shoulders and apologetically leaving scratches on his back, in a way he knows nobody else can have him ever again. It takes a lot of pride to wear down and see how Hoseok felt, claimed against his explicit will. He’s unjustifiably selfish. He needs Hoseok like air. And he would do anything to have him. He knew what brimmed Hoseok’s mind behind those deer-like eyes. He knew everything that they will have to deal with now that anyone could tell whose set of teeth laid on the omega. And Hoseok will bear the most brunt, unfairly so, no matter how much Jimin tries to protect him. All because he is selfish. All because he can’t live without Hoseok. All because, despite everything, he wholeheartedly believes they were meant to be.

It’s only fair Hoseok begged for his permission. Even though it will hurt him again. 

If that’s what makes Hoseok love him the same way he does.

.

.

.

.

.

It stings. It still makes him feel faint. 

His hips still ached. It doesn’t help that the train seats were so narrow.

His cousin is kind enough to pick him up and carry his bags. It was still embarrassing. He just hopes they don’t notice him limp. If things go the way he wants, they don’t have to know anything.

He’ll just tell them about a change of plans in case they ask. He’ll tell them he’d decided to retire later to save up a bit more. That should sell it.

He has scent-blockers on, but that wasn’t necessary in this harvest season, with the scent of ripe pears and persimmons making his mouth water.

The weather was greatly in his favour too. It’s his favourite season. The slight chills that make him snuggle up in his thick sweaters is the coziest feeling ever.

His face brightens when he spots his nephew and nieces from a distance, running towards him. He hugs them. His eldest niece nearly sheds tears in his embrace, sniffing his scent.

He missed this. Even though he was gone for a few days.

People ask him where he’d been when he was expected to arrive much sooner, and he had prepared himself for them, explaining how the banker was absent and the process was lengthier than he had estimated.

When they ask him where he stayed, he explains that his old master was kind enough to accommodate. It’s not worth hiding. If he wants to keep them away from the truth, he has to be a bit honest. Jimin’s scent was all over him. He knew from the way his niece scrunched at the unfamiliar scent.

Aside from the anxiety-ridden questions he expected, the main reason he’s here is for the green plains and the fearsome mountains. Perhaps this will help him recover, and think. It’s the last place he remembers his wolf feeling peace at, freshly out of a divorce and a broken bond.

The lady who helped him break it lives not so far away. She creates herbal medicine in her little hut, by herself and with her sly little black cat. Hoseok used to think she was a witch when he was younger, having been frightened of her when he was a child. He used to hide behind his mother, afraid, and yet watching intently as the lady scrubbed his mother’s mating bond away.

He stares at his mother’s necklace, now in his hand, still stained with blood because he’d forgotten to wash it. He remembers her wearing it when she got her mating bond broken. It’s the first time he’d see her wear it until it became something he permanently identified her with. It’s the strongest memory of his mother, and the greatest evidence of her love for him, which is a family heirloom she finally dared to wear after escaping the clutches of a monster Hoseok doesn’t care about enough to recall. 

It’s a memory of the first time his mother stood up for herself and decided to lead like her foremothers, all for the sake of little Hoseok. And though the last bit of their relationship ended strained, Hoseok desperately hopes, given there’s no second chance, that there’s an afterlife where his mother gets to see how hard he repents for what they lost. He wishes she knew how much he loved her despite everything. If only he wasn’t so stupid. If only he had been a little more grateful.

The first thing Hoseok asks is for a cup of jasmine tea. He observed the way her shaky hands, now wrinkled, brewed the leaves. It’s a reminder of how much time has passed. Hoseok is, after all, no longer a scared child, and this lady is no longer a tatted and pierced young woman with silk black hair.

She’s always efficient in spotting stressed clients, commanding him to spill whatever he wanted to say instead of this poorly attempted ice-breaker, even though she makes sures to put extra spoons of sugar in Hoseok’s cup.

He traces the rim of the cup, the past few nights flashing like memories that had already become distant. He has to admit it — he misses Jimin. He misses his touches, his kisses, and his embrace. His body flushes at the mere reminder of marks that littered his skin, and so he sips his tea to cool down.

But he shakily inhales at the jabbing pain to his neck. He’s been able to hide it, so far, but he knows he won’t be able to for a lot longer. The things he considers make him shiver. It’s all so blurred, full of uncertainties no matter what he does. He looks up to the lady nervously, who tapped her long tinted nails on the hardwood of the table.

“R-remember the bond I got removed? A f-few years ago?”

The lady, making the worst assumption, jumps, “Don’t tell me you went back.”

“N-no! Never!” Hoseok protests, before settling in his seat and sighing. “It’s not that.”

The lady quirks a brow, noticing the thick shawl wrapped around his neck. It’s the first time she notices that it’s intentional.

Hoseok’s fingers tremble as he loosens the shawl, unable to look her in the eye as the air of autumn embraces his neck, glistening with sweat from how warm the hut is. He is exposed, with his biggest secret he knows he can’t latch on for now, slightly relieved by the stone-cold expression on her face when she finally grasps what this is all about.

And so, with a deep breath, he prepares himself, the face of an unsuspecting Jimin floating in his mind as he dreads to ask the big question.

“What can you do about this?” he points at his freshly healed mating bond.

Chapter Text

Hoseok holds his breath as cold fingertips inspect the dents left by the canines. 

“You don't have to go down there…”

“Why not?” she smirks, rubbing her thumb across a fading mark on his collarbone. 

“It's not funny.” Hoseok firmly states, covering the rest of himself by pulling on to the collar of his blouse. “I'm serious.”

To that she visibly brims with doubts. “You can't be.” she says. She observes the bond again. Fresh. Dried blood around the mark. No leaking. No pus. No discoloration. The deepest pits she’s ever seen. It tells her everything she needs to know about the alpha who claimed Hoseok.

“Why not?” he argues. 

“Because, your omega. It's back.” she reasons with the obvious, “Your wolf didn’t reject it. You know what would have happened if it did. It happened to you before." She reminds him.

“And what if I don't want what my stupid wolf wants??” he argues back, making the older lady flinch at the slight aggression. He takes notice of it, as nothing but the crackling of fire wood disturbs the heavy silence. “Sorry,” he mutters in the end.

“...What happened?” she asks more seriously this time, face hardening at the sight of those eyes glistening in dim light. The size and shape of the bond already makes her suspect a few reasons behind Hoseok’s distress, but she decides to wait patiently.

Hoseok sighs, staring at the ceiling, “...this alpha…” he hesitates, finding it physically tolling to even describe him as anything other than the light in the dark, or a breath of fresh air. “...I can’t be with him. It’s impossible.”

The lady stays mute, preparing a mortar while her eyes fixate on the mating mark. It’s fascinating in a way. It’s almost beautiful — the way it circles Hoseok’s scent gland like a garland, and the precision of each dent, one of which is slightly slanted, indicating a crooked front tooth.

“Is he one of those pure-bloods?” she finally asks the daunting question.

“Not exactly. His mother is a beta.” he mentions, dreading the reminder of Ji-ah. She’d probably kill him if she ever got his hands on him. And he would deserve it. Hoseok never stopped Jimin. He never fought back. His omega wanted this. He corrupted her boy. 

“Then, he definitely comes from a strong lineage of alphas.”

“Yes.” 

He squirms in his stool, massaging his aching wrists, the print left on them reminding him again who Jimin was. 

“That will be hard to get rid of. Especially a fresh one like this.”

Hoseok already knew that. He can tell from the way it stings. It's torturous. He's feverish. 

“I'll apply this balm. It'll give you some relief for now.” the lady offers a paste of medicinal herbs from her mortar. “To get rid of it, you should let me see it after three months. That's the earliest you could come, considering you stay away from him.”

“How do I stop feeling him?” Hoseok tries asking, though his voice fails him, trembling as he senses distress. 

“You don't.” the lady reveals bluntly, figuring there's no use sneaking between the lines, “He's a very instinctive one. In worse cases, he might even be trailing behind you. But since you’re here, I’m guessing you’re off as lucky.”

A kind of dread crawls up his spine knowing he will have to feel this for prolonged 3 months, that is if the bond can even be broken at all.

What is Hoseok doing here? He should not be here. He should be in bed letting Jimin tend to his bond. This can not feel right.

Jimin did not stop him. He simply mewled in his deep state of sleep, hugging a blanket that smelled like the omega. Perhaps it helps that Jimin had no idea where Hoseok was, but regardless, it leaves him in unrest to see that Jimin did not try to stop him at all.

“I-I love you, hyung…” That was the only thing he uttered as he sniffed Hoseok’s scent, asleep. That’s the last thing he remembers from Seoul. And it lingered.

This is good. He can heal. He can finally make up his mind. This should be relieving.

Hoseok swallows, throat tightening from the fog that hides what is ahead. This is the most control he could grasp. Everything else is dreary luck. He thinks about Jimin. He's all that has been racing his mind — from craving his touch to praying he leaves him be, figuring everything out till he's ready for whatever awaits. There is an ache to his hips that adds weight to his legs. Every stride drags as if rocks were tied to his ankles. Every step feels like walking on dull blades.

“You should get some rest. That bond will take time to heal with no alpha to tend to it.” the lady advises, sealing the ailment in a jar. “Your scent-blocker is already wearing off. Be careful about that.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen, hands immediately reaching out to his bag. “Right.” he exhales, lathering the stick to his gland. If dealing with everything else was not enough, him smelling like a fresh omega in his late thirties does it.

“I’m surprised nobody knows you’re claimed.” she adds. “The scent is still quite potent with the blockers.”

He sighs in defeat. “My niece probably does.” It is no use hiding. They will have to find out eventually. 

“Well, it's the alphas I'm warning you for. They do get a little rowdy, especially with sickly sweet scents like yours.”

Hoseok listened, anxiously picking his thumb. He's never been the type to get the attention of alphas. His scent had always been rather delicate. Even with a scentless dying wolf, no one could still pick the difference. Perhaps that was the reason he was able to fit in despite everything, instead of being alienated like dying omega wolves usually are. 

This scent adds an oddness to his body he's never felt before. There's a pulse to his scent gland, throbbing like it were a second heart. He feels his wolf scratch his flesh from within, as if it were punishing him for his reckless decision. His body didn't feel like his own. His head full of Jimin. His skin with his reminders. His wolf livid without Jimin. And his untended bond stabbing him like a blunt axe to his neck. 

Has Jimin really let him go? His sight has fooled him. But he hears Jimin. He smells Jimin. He feels Jimin. He tastes Jimin on his tongue. It's like Jimin was omnipresent, a breath away from his flesh. He was Jimin's. His body. His mind. His wolf. They all belonged to Jimin. 

“I can let you stay. Since the bond's quite new, I can try tending to it.”

“You would?”

“It's the least I can do.” the lady dismisses, “The village is changing y'know…people aren't as nice as they used to be.”

“I…never thought I’d have to worry about this…” Hoseok murmurs, “Let alone in this age.”

“Which is why I’m also going to ask you to rethink getting rid of this bond…if we can actually get rid of it, I mean.” she finally says, like something she has been holding back ever since Hoseok showed her the mark. “It’s good you have a great support system here, but everything else will make being an unmated omega so difficult that you’ll end up missing Seoul.”

Hoseok stilled at her suggestion, with his body at an active war with his mind. He laid down on a bed not too far from the work desk, staring at the ceiling made of planks as the lady stepped forward. This place almost felt like a hospital, perhaps with a little more soul to it.

“Are you listening?”

“Yes. You’re right. I’m just thinking.” Hoseok mindlessly looks away, feeling the coolness of the balm lather on his gland. “I just — there’s so much going on. I’m finally inheriting my mother’s house.”

She nods, leaving him be as she walks back to what she was doing before Hoseok arrived. The aroma of ginseng and garlic dances in the air more distinctly than before as she stirs her pot. “Mind telling me what’s this alpha like?”

Words rest on his tongue as soon as he is asked. Jimin is all he could think about. He’s the easiest to talk about. 

“He’s young. He’s reckless. He always gets what he wants.” These are the first things that escape his lips.

She turns around, smirking, “That's one way to start. Is that why you think he mated you?”

Hoseok can't stop his eyes from brimming with tears. Crying. It's all he's been doing for a while. Everything in his life has always slipped out of his control. Sometimes he feels like a puppet toyed in a cruel cruel play. 

“He's been…smitten for a while. Ever since he was a teen. But I laughed it off most of the time. I didn't take it seriously until it was too late.”

Hoseok watches as she tastes her concoction, heart beat drumming in his ears as he narrates. He couldn't tell if she was really listening and just making him talk for the sake of passing boredom, but it's something he feels the need to pour out regardless. 

“It's…really just…my fault. I acted clueless. Ignored everything. Let him have me. I didn't even stop him. I was scared…of hurting him more than I already have. I —”

“Enough. Don't do this. This isn't right for you. To blame yourself like this.” she scolds. 

Hoseok wipes his eyes, sniffing as his mating mark pulsed to life. He wonders what it's like to be an alpha — claiming an omega, feeling nothing but a little tingle in those fangs while an omega has his own mind and body altered by it. It's not right to call Jimin's alpha unaffected, especially after witnessing it take him the way it did. He was certainly different. But Hoseok begs to argue. If Jimin was craving Hoseok right now, he'd be doing it out of the will of his heart. Hoseok, on the other hand, is struggling to breathe as the ache punishes him, nearly making him gasp for air at the slightest reminders. 

“Have this jook. It's bland. I heard you like bland stuff.” she sternly pushes the bowl of porridge to his hand. 

The aroma does help him calm down. It makes his mouth water as a distraction. “I should really let my cousin know I'm here.”

The lady quietly slurped from her bowl, glaring at Hoseok. 

“They're going to get so suspicious…” he stresses 

“Your porridge is getting cold.”

Hoseok exhales apologetically, “Right. Sorry.” he begins to eat his portion. It's a little too bland. Even for him. But he supposes that it helps with whatever mess he's in. “Could you wake me up by dawn?”

“You will wake up before dawn.”

Hoseok giggles. It’s the first time since he’s been here that his heart gets a little lighter. That’s why he’s here — because despite how great the people back home are, something about this place is a little more comforting. It’s easier to laugh. It’s easier to cry.

“You really remind me of my mom. You know that?”

Hoseok isn’t even sure if he intended to mutter it out loud, but the smile he sees on the woman’s face is one he’s never seen — to a point it looks strange on her. This dark gloomy lady with hair as white as snow and faded tattoos brightened the hut with what the candles could not make up for. And at this moment, he feels warm.

Everything will turn out ok. That’s what Hoseok decides to convince himself from now on. Even if things do not go the way he wants, it would still be ok. It should keep him going. It should keep him breathing.

.

.

.

.

.

Every morning the ache dulls a little more, but not as speedily as it normally would. He is getting used to it. The way it pulses and tingles. The way it just exists. What rather bugs him instead…is something else.

Breakfast is always awkward no matter how much Hoseok or his relatives try to make it seem normal. Scent-blockers could only hide it for so long, with no aroma of the fall’s harvest to mask it behind closed doors. Hoseok still opted for high collars. Clothes he regretted impulsively buying before. He never thought they’d come in useful considering what he typically wears, but boy was he glad they were saving him grace right now.

It’s an open secret. It’s been since the moment his niece smelled him. He could tell how it itches each one of them on the table to say something. But nothing ever comes out. Perhaps because the scent gave it away. It’s not usual to have notes of ambergris and anise rift the air of a common dining room — let alone mix with an ordinary one of milk and honey.

It’s anijsmelk. His nephew insisted on making it for everyone. A drink he says is popular around the chilly seasons of the Netherlands, a place he clearly missed since the last time he visited for his exchange program. There is not much else to have. All the year’s vegetable harvest has gone into kimchi containers. At night, they await an ox stew that has been boiling since dawn, so no one minds the hunger.

One final step. That is all he wants to think about. The money was successfully transferred from the city branch within the week. Everything has been as they should. Now all that is left is the deed registration, which should take the whole day, but that means the house will be officially assigned to his name.

Yet everything in his life riddles him with anxiety. It has been difficult to calm down, especially with a new bond and an erratic wolf without its mate, scratching under his skin. The balm only helps the bond heal and numb the pain. But he could feel how much his wolf hates it — how much his wolf wants him to suffer from the consequences of his decisions.

It’s a kind of pain he can solely suffer in silence, at midnight, curled up in bed. It only stings physically, but it drains him in a way no one would understand — the constant reminders of what he could have had and ‘what ifs’, and just the way Jimin wants him. It never stops feeling wrong. He feels like a sick fuck. For manipulating him. For letting him writhe alone while Hoseok threw himself in his arms at his worst. And yet every night, the need to have him by his side grew and grew. Everything turned about Jimin. From the cold breeze that reminded him of that night to the gap between his legs.

The marks had faded. But he could still feel Jimin’s breath on his skin. Every time he looked down, his mind mimicked that glare between his thighs, watching him at his most vulnerable state. Sometimes a moan escaped his mouth as he imagined it, a place he never knew could feel like this as he squeezed his thighs shut.

He can not be doing this. He should not think about Jimin like this, regardless of what happened.

Last night, he betrayed himself, again.

There was something deeply wrong with him. That’s what he believed. That’s what he thinks is true. Because each night, he gets more and more agitated. Everytime he tells himself to stop thinking about Jimin, his hands crawl down further and further. It was driving him crazy.

Three more months. They better be worth it. If not, he better make up his mind and not regret it.

He could not live without Jimin as long as that bond stays.

When his cousin calls him out to get ready across the table, it is obvious that his mind is thoroughly occupied. His uncle pokes him back to the real world, where houses and finances matter more than his feelings.

He applies scent-blocker vigorously, till his gland takes the translucent color of the gel. But it is as if each and every day, the thing gets more and more useless. Perhaps it's the drink he did not enjoy very much and accidentally spilled on himself, but the scent of milk and anise comes through stronger than ever.

It is not until his cousin asks him if he was done that he finds out he’s been here for the past 10 minutes, trying to get rid of something that was hopeless.

And so he walks the streets, eyes fixed on the ground as his scent flares at passerby's nostrils, who all turned around and met with visible confusion at the sight of an ordinary middle-aged omega. His cousin notices, immediately guarding him as an alpha would. He asks Hoseok if he was okay. Hoseok nods. Because it’s not possible to vent how much it really bothers him. Even when he stops thinking about it, everyone else reminds him who he belongs to. 

Hoseok takes a deep breath to cope with what he has become, following his cousin into the bus.

Today is a good day. It has to be a good day. He’s inheriting the house to his name. Nothing should ruin that.

It’s never a long drive. The village contrasts Seoul in that sense. As soon as they pay their fare, they step down together, looking towards the building that will finalize it all.

Hoseok checks once again if he had it all. IDs, mortgage papers, death certificate, everything. He allows his cousin to lead him, fixing his collar as he does. The claustrophobic space with papers piling everywhere is something he hardly adjusts to as he enters. It’s difficult to ignore the air around him tensing as he comes to the help desk, as one of the officers stands up and leads him to another isolated room to verify his identity.

It’s the same officer from before, visibly heeding the change of atmosphere before proceeding to review everything with Hoseok.

“Really cold out there, isn’t it?” He tries to lighten the weight in this room.

“Yes. Very.” Hoseok keeps it short.

“Want me to turn on the heater?”

“I’m cozy.” He tries to evade, nervously.

Everytime the officer looks at Hoseok, it’s like he learns more and more of what he needs to know.

Hoseok looks at him shuffling the documents around the desk, studying each and every word on them carefully. He nods at some, frowns and thinks for others. He shakes his legs out of habit. Regardless of how sure he is that he has everything, this situation tests his confidence.

His cousin joins him for support a little later, taking a seat on the corner as the officer and Hoseok sits eye-to-eye.

“You pretty much have most of the documents.”

“Most?” he asks, not sure if he should be relieved.

“Yes. It’s almost done. Just some stamp duties you’re due on.”

“Yes. I’ll be clearing them very soon. Just a few of them left.”

“Sorry to interrupt. But that’s okay, right? You said you could handle it.” His cousin joins in the conversation, having been the one who fixed this officer to Hoseok.

The officer nods, tightening his lips, “Yes. Definitely. I just need to know if you’re aware of how much you’ll need to be paying. It’s how we’ll assess the risk before passing on the property in the name of your mate.”

The room takes on a horrid silence as Hoseok’s eyes widen in panic. Heart drops to his stomach. He looks at his cousin, who looks at him worriedly. Sweat beads form on his nape.

“A m-mate?” Hoseok attempts his best to hide the dread in his tone.

“Yes. Since you’re mated now, you can bear the responsibility with them. Congratulations, by the way.”

The world around him spins as he processes everything, bile threatening to crawl up his throat.

“Wait. He registered for all this as an omega divorcee. Shouldn’t it go to his name??” His cousin tries to save him grace, but his acknowledgement of it all makes Hoseok feel physically ill.

“If he has a verification letter from his lawyer.”

He does not. He could not afford one. It was a miracle he could proceed without one in the first place. The implication of everything that will result from this — all the benefits that got him so far potentially being lost — makes him hyperventilate.

“But what if he’s not an active participant in this. It’s my mother’s house. It’s supposed to be in my name.” Hoseok blurts out, regretting immediately as the officer catches on. 

It’s a look of suppressed judgement behind the eyes, but the officer carries on respectfully, not wanting to get in trouble with the alpha in the room.

His cousin rushes to his side to calm him down, frowning with anger riling in him, “You should have let us know. You know no one here gets a lawyer.”

“Please accept my apology, but I assumed you knew that omegas cannot really inherit property. This option for omega divorcees is just a government incentive for combatting poverty and violent crimes. It gets revoked as soon as an omega gets mated. I’m sorry again.”

He thinks about the money in his account — an amount he thought was more than enough to cover all the duties and interests till the mortgage expires within the year. He’s run out of options to afford all this, let alone redoing the registration.

“I really don’t admire this formality.” his cousin spits out, “After all this work, the least you could do is cover this up.”

It’s not fair. Hoseok had scent blockers on. No one should have been able to know he’s mated, but they do. And it’s the most nauseating sensation ever. Why is this happening? It worked fine a week ago. Is it the balm? It can’t be. The lady would have mentioned it.

“I honestly would have desperately tried to if I could. You’re one of my oldest clients, sir. But meddling with this would not just put me in trouble, but also you and this bank itself.”

“I’ll pay for it myself.” Hoseok stands up all of a sudden, halting the heated to-and-fros. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? This cannot go well for him. “The taxes. Principal amount. Everything. I’ll take over them.”

The day-long procedure ends within two hours. Hoseok has to firmly grip his dojang as papers skim at him, trembling hands threatening to smudge the ink as he reads through them and struggles to swallow the stress piling on him with every confirmation.

His cousin does his best to comfort him, begging him to relax and think this through. Hoseok cannot look at him without feeling shameful, but he mindlessly nods to whatever awaits. His cousin offers to help him without the need for refinancing, but Hoseok denies, filling his application and handing it over to the clerks before he walks out, being unable to tolerate the subtle stares that he could tell were laced with derogatory thoughts.

The ride back home is a quiet one, with his cousin attempting to speak but hesitating every now and then. Hoseok has undone his collar, letting the hours worth of sweat dry off as the bus races through the roads. His cousin sees it, sealing his lips tight as he harshly breathes through his nose before looking away.

The streets on afternoons get less busier, as all the working men and women arrive home and their omegas tend to them. So it’s a lot easier for Hoseok to get by, ignoring everything that has happened on his way back. His cousin walks behind him, his head low till they come closer to the gates of their community.

“It’s that boy, isn’t it?”

Hoseok stops on his tracks, his back turned on the alpha.

“Your master. It’s him. That Park family heir.”

He takes a deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat before he nods slowly.

There is a dreadful pause — a recurrent thing he’s been experiencing since he’s returned.

“I think I saw him on the news once. Quite handsome.” 

“Is it that obvious?”

It catches his cousin off guard, “What?”

“I’ve been claimed by one of the most powerful men in our country. Is it obvious?”

All he gets is silence, which he should have expected. But it still upsets him.

His cousin walked ahead so he could face him in front. Fog settles on the ground and fills the gap between them.

“Hey.”

Hoseok finds himself looking up at the darkening sky, counting backwards.

“You know we’re here right? I know this guy’s pretty powerful, but we’ll try everything we can for you if anything goes wrong.”

Hoseok nods, crossing his arms before being finally able to see him in the eye. It’s oddly relieving to see him — smiling out of pure love and care. “Yeah.”

“We love you, okay?” his cousin pulls him into a hug, cradling his head like he used to when they were little. “Nothing that happens to you will ever make us stop loving you. I know you’ve had it a bit difficult opening up to us ever since aunt passed away, but we’ll always support you. Even when stupid people look down on you. Don’t you forget.”

Hoseok wraps his arms around him, tears prickling his eyes as the homey scent of oakwood envelopes him. It takes him back to his teens, being comforted exactly like this when his mother forbid him from dancing.

Crying this time does not really help it. The stress remains — of added debts and current dues. And he also thinks he should check the expiry date on the scent-blocker before throwing that useless thing away.

“Come. There’s ox stew at home. No one feels sad after an ox stew with makgeolli.”

Hoseok smiles lightly, being led to the house by his cousin while he looks forward to clearing his mind, however briefly.

He could not have imagined things to go the way they did.

It’s something that makes him want to bang his head against a wall and scream.

Even when he believed something in his life was set for once, it wasn’t.

Ox stew with makgeolli. He’s going to drink his head off until there is nothing coherent.

This is how he will cope. With a dinner that was meant to be a celebratory one — for finally having the house to his name.

He’s hungry for a lot of things. His stomach rumbles at the aroma of the stew as they reach closer to the house. There’s a few things he could never satiate. They’ll eventually have to starve and die. It happened to his omega once. He now wishes it stayed dead.

When his other omega cousin welcomes them in, he hides as if nothing on this earth bothers him, wearing the flashiest smile before he quickly runs to grab a bowl, followed by the alpha who still thought of him with a bit of concern.

.

.

.

.

.

It’s constant to and fro with the bank in the past few days. It’s like the initial procedure all over again. Right now, he has begun to explore whether it would be possible to jointly gain ownership with his cousin.

No. That’s what everyone tells them. Sooner or later, he’ll have to face Jimin and forgo the slightest chance of undoing the bond. He barely took the latter seriously. It’s the space he’d get — a luxury that was quickly slipping away.

Shit. He’s erratic.

Nothing helps. Not caffeine. Not alcohol. His head is a wicked mess and it’s not just the mark on his scent gland or the crippling debts.

It’s his wolf. Tossing inside him like a captive.

He cries. Chants for all this to stop as he crouches to his knees. No one should see him like this. He’ll lose more than what he already has.

There’s dark circles under his eyes and his cheekbones start to protrude, which obviously makes the rest of the house wonder if he was doing well.

He says he’s fine, and his cousin covers for him, having been begged by Hoseok to keep it away from others. 

None can help when their eyes happen to fall on the mating mark, pulsing like it were alive. It’s almost frightening the same way it was close to majestic. But everyone makes sure to not linger there for long. Because no matter how hard he tries, everyone begins to smell his stress. His pheromones almost mimicked the scent of that of an alpha. It’s intense, to a point he’s begun to isolate himself from others. He’s afraid. He’s tense.

Uncertainties. His constant source of distress and despair. His arch nemesis and his best friend.

He finds himself growling at a poor junior officer, all against his intent when he hears that the processing of a certain document he spent days behind will take a whole week.

Expelled from the office at the manager’s request, he grips his coat, shivering as a feverishness takes over his body. It’s a surprise he’s thrown up only once since it all went down. He’s alone this time, like he’s done everything previously. But it’s different. This time, he already anticipates the worst. 

Everything for the past few days was like wandering without a purpose. What has he achieved? What does he want to achieve? Does he really want what he wants to achieve?

When he thinks about it, every problem in his life started because he wanted to be in charge.

And each and every time, despite someone or everyone’s attempt to become an obstacle, he overcomes it.

Just to be met with troubles that eventually came with the regret of ever considering to hop over a fence so fiercely.

Was it wrong? To be like this? To desire control over his own life so badly that fate had to intervene and take it away? Each and every time?

Hoseok has never really had this thing called “faith”. He’s seen it around him. But it never made sense for him to pray to something he could not see, touch, or feel. The people he loved and cared for were more than enough for him. Although the strengths of these were constantly put to test, many of which ended with losses he never recovered from.

It boggles him a little that with all these people who are unconditionally on his side no matter what, he feels so — alone. Asking for help feels desperate when they’ve already done too much. It makes him wish he had faith that let him unconditionally beg — to someone he could not see, feel or touch because they exist outside the realms of his understanding.

Right now, he prayed to anything if it exists. He doesn’t ask for anything in particular, nor does he request for anything to be taken away. It simply gave him solace in a way he never thought he would seek. To lean and rely on someone who is truly unconditional because they do not exist — at least not in the same way humans inhabit a physical form.

The house opens to him with a strange calmness that almost throws him off. In the evenings, his nieces and nephews should be playing around. Hearing the door would make them run and pull Hoseok by his wrists to tell them stories or check out their new games.

His omega cousin helps him off his coat. When Hoseok asks if anything is wrong, he shakes his head firmly in response. Rather, he encourages him to check out someone in the living room. A man he says was eagerly waiting for his arrival.

Hoseok decides to go with no prior suspicions. It could be one of those people the bank wanted him to meet. Or a negotiator his cousin told him about — someone who could get rid of all this work he’s having to do.

As soon as he enters the room, his nostrils flare, breath stiffening as his glance instantly shifts from the floor to the man sitting amongst his extended family. A man that fits almost too well.

All eyes on him. But his ones land the most intensely. Everyone knew this man, and everyone knew why he was here.

A close associate of the estate company they are under. In fact, a man who bought the estate company not a long time ago. That’s how they introduce him. With big words and big praise. Because that’s what they think Hoseok needs to hear to get him through this turmoil. But everyone knew who he really was. And what exactly he had to offer.

Ambergris and anise.

It gave away..

.

.

.

.

.

Jimin does not need to analyze Hoseok to know he’s seething. His nails dug on his skin as he grabbed his wrist and pulled him into his quarter of the village.

The door locks behind them. Hoseok is trembling. And his expression, however contained, reflected his state.

“How did you find me? Why did you come here?” he struggles to ask calmly. Each word lands like a jab. There was no need for Jimin to be here. He already has too much on his plate.

“Why aren’t you answering my calls?” Jimin asks stoically. 

Hoseok grunts, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back up to Jimin, “I told you I had some work back here, right? There is no reason you should —”

“What’s this?” Jimin picks out a jar from his sweat pocket, half-full with a green ointment. “One of your little nephews showed me this while he gave me a tour. He told me you apply it to your neck everyday.”

Hoseok is dumbfounded. “Y-you went through my stuff??"

“I checked the seal stamp and asked about it. They told me she’s a healer nearby.” Jimin continues nonchalantly.

Hoseok has to quietly exercise a few times before he prepares to speak, “It’s not what you’re thinking.” He has to look away while he says it. “It’s to make the bond heal faster.”

Hoseok begins to regret turning his head to the other side, because Jimin gets to observe his claim on him while he explains.

Jimin scoffs. Hoseok’s already defeated before he refutes. “You needed me, hyung. Every omega does after being claimed by an alpha.” he inches closer, while Hoseok still struggles to glance at him, “So many reasons you could have called me for, hyung. And yet, you answered none.”

“Answer my question first.” Hoseok tries sternly, “How did you find me?”

There's something about Jimin’s unchanging glare that already answers it for him. He never thought those puppy brown eyes could ever be as fearful as the red ones, but the crazed animalistic allusion to them contends as rivals.

“...you stalked me.” Hoseok mutters.

“I never really permitted you to leave, hyung, did I? You simply sneaked away while I was at my weakest.” It’s so offensively blatant, as if Jimin found entertainment in Hoseok’s state.

Hoseok’s teeth jitters behind his sealed lips, palms itching while he finds himself being able to see Jimin in the eye for the first time.

“I know you’re here for more than just the property work.” Jimin is only inches away, breathing against Hoseok’s exposure, in a way that felt mocking regardless of what his intention was, “Though I assume the latter isn’t going so well without me either —”

A harsh slap lands on Jimin’s face.

Hoseok almost doesn’t believe it, but the ringing sensation in his palms registers what he had just done.

It stings. His hyung, so sweet and so easy, had the print of his long slender fingers burning on Jimin’s cheek.

He looks at his hyung. Blood-shot eyes that expressed nothing but rage, his chin pointed and his body shaking like a leaf.

“You have no idea what you put me through.” His voice, now octaves deep, sounds like a warning.

Jimin is almost tempted to say something, but immediately stops himself as the words stick to his throat.

Hoseok wants him to listen.

He feels his lungs shrink, struggling to breathe or speak as every unfortunate misfortune comes rushing into his mind. Every path ahead in his life has been colonized by forces beyond his control — by choices he once believed he made with his own power.

Now is the time to spit on his face — the source of his best memories and worst shortcomings. He knows it all. Right from the very start. Jimin was always there meddling into his life, taking away his joys and replacing them with himself.

Because now, who else could have seen him like this? Who else could have known what he was thinking?

And suddenly Jimin’s deceitful face morphs into one riddled with worry.

“Hyung?” He calls out, trying to soothe his back, He looks around in confusion before setting his mind, “Count with me to 5.”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

A deep breath in

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

And out

In

And out

In 

And out

Jimin slowly pulls him into his embrace, cradling his head as he kisses his hair.

In

Out

In

Out

In

Out

They breathe in unison. 

For the first time since he’s been here, the silence is the most comforting thing he’s experienced.

In…and out

Tears prick the corners of his eyes.

This scent. He needed this. It heals him with its medicinal bitterness.

It’s like nothing ever happened. Nothing else matters. This moment was like the most correct decision in Hoseok’s life. What was his dumb brain even thinking?

No. This is impulsive. He’s too old to be giving in like this. He has to put his mind into this.

A part of him fought and died as soon as the alpha sniffs him.

To be wanted. To be loved. To have someone. This is everything Hoseok could ever need.

Jimin cups his face, mouth parted as he observes Hoseok with those wide puppy eyes.

What was Hoseok supposed to do? Not kiss him stupid?

He takes Jimin’s lips between his, savouring them, sucking them, biting them. He returns, his tongue dancing into Hoseok’s mouth, twirling, exploring, stealing his breath away. Saliva connects them as they part briefly. They stare into each others’ orbs as their lips find their way again. It gets wetter, messier, noisier. 

Hoseok’s mind screams at him. 

One of their backs hit the soft mattress without their notice as they lose themselves into each other. They toss and turn, fighting for dominance, getting more passionate as thoughts escape their minds.

Jimin is on top of Hoseok, lips dyed with blood as he heaves, staring at the omega like he was the most marvelous creature on earth.

He could study everything — the sweat beading down his hair follicles, the slanted lashes, the slope of his nose, the cupid's bow, every one of the moles decorating his face, the glistening collarbones, his pulsing scent gland…

“Hyung…” Jimin utters, breathlessly, having suddenly come to the realization. “Oh God…”

Hoseok does the same, dreadingly.

“You…you’re in heat…”