Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It happened so quickly that Felix was still having trouble comprehending the severity of his current situation. He was dragging a large suitcase full of his belongings into a literal mansion in Seoul, about to move in with his fiance. A fiance he did not have a week ago while living and studying in Sydney.

The tall silent alpha accompanying him for the ride there took the suitcase off his hands so he could ascend the stairs that lead to the front door of the enormous house without trouble. Felix bit his lip and thanked him, a clumsy “고맙습니다” that the man nodded to, and started walking up. The closer he got to the small platform on top of the staircase, the more new smells made it to his nostrils, the more nervous he got. His future husband was waiting for him inside, he’d been too busy with work to pick up Felix from the airport but had promised he’d meet him once Felix arrived. 

The door was opened for him the moment he placed foot on the platform and Felix blinked. It was a young man with short black hair and a blank stare, an alpha around his age, if he were to guess, that looked back at him. “안녕하세요,” Felix said with a small bow and got up in time to see surprise in the boy’s face. He recovered quickly and gave him a bow in return before gesturing inside the house. The man said something in rapid-fire Korean and Felix blinked. He recognized his fiance’s name and something about a house, but could not keep up. His Korean was minimal. Really minimal. “Uh, sorry. Could you please say that in English?” he asked nervously. He wasn’t sure the staff at the mansion even spoke English, which was a scary thought to entertain. The black-haired man looked at him oddly and then licked his lips.

“Mr. Choi is working. He comes later and… you meet him,” he said with a heavy accent and Felix smiled, grateful that he wasn’t going to be completely isolated in his own home. Then he frowned. Doek-su was supposed to be waiting for him. He plastered on another smile, it wasn’t the man’s fault after all, and looked around as they passed through different living spaces and hallways. The place looked even bigger from the inside. He couldn’t catch his fiance’s scent anywhere but he could only imagine the amount of people employed and running around all day to keep this modest house running. “This is your room.”

They’d stopped in front of an open door but the boy wasn’t entering, keeping his alpha scent out of an omega’s personal space. Felix appreciated that more than he could describe. “Thank you,” Felix said and slipped inside, holding back a gasp at the luxury he found himself in. The whole house had looked fancy and expensive, but this was private space that only he – and perhaps a guest or two – were ever going to see, and yet it still looked so exquisite. The bed was gigantic, full of pillows and blankets and duvets. He had a walk-in closet from the looks of it and an adjacent bathroom that was bigger than their living room slash kitchen back home. Everything was ornamented and designed with style. Felix couldn’t believe he was going to be living there from now on. Or, well, at least until the wedding. After that he was going to start sharing a room with Doek-su. It was just propriety and social etiquette that kept them apart for now.

Felix turned to thank the man but found him gone, the omega’s suitcase in his place. He wheeled it in and sat down on the large plush couch in front of the TV. Just a few days earlier, he’d been sharing a room with his two sisters, their small apartment barely big enough to host his family of five, and now he was sitting in this apartment-sized room, his temporary room, in a mansion. Life was crazy sometimes.

He looked around one more time and sighed. The luxury was great, but it didn’t come for free. He could only hope that actual love would develop between him and Doek-su over time and he’d come to feel at home in this house. Once again that day, he thought back on how he’d gotten to that point. If he hadn’t taken that study trip to Seoul, if he hadn’t decided to skip out on the school program and instead film a vlog around the city, if he hadn’t visited the tallest skyscraper for its top-floor terrace with a 360-degree view of the city, he wouldn’t have bumped into Doek-su who owned the building and was soon going to own him.

Felix had initially found the older alpha kind and friendly for offering him a tour of the building and even giving him some tips about the city, agreeing to be on camera and slipping jokes and smooth compliments the whole time. Felix hadn’t even realised on the spot that he’d spoken to Choi Doek-su, self-made Korean billionaire with company branches on six continents. He did find out once he googled the name on the business card he’d received and had, in panic, texted the man to apologise for not recognising him sooner. And so they started texting. The next thing Felix knew, they had hung out in the city twice more, and then Felix was back in Sydney with a YouTube video that was blowing up – no thanks to his charisma – and a CEO knocking on his door, asking for his hand in marriage. Felix hadn’t even been aware they’d been going on dates! Doek-su was forty-one, he could be his father! 

His own father had been over the moon, his mother saying yes for him while Felix stared mutely at the man. His mom’s hospital bills, the soon-to-be-three study debts and the unpaid mortgage said yes for him, too.

Now here he was. In a mansion.

Doek-su had had a speech prepared and all; he’d fallen for Felix’ freckles, for his sweet scent, for his laughter and easy-going personality. Felix thought his fiance was handsome, too, and hoped with some time actually spent together, getting to know each other, they could come to be what Felix had always imagined he’d have one day, in terms of family. He’d read enough books to know that in the end, the arranged marriage or the bond that started off loveless always took a turn and the protagonists slowly fell for each other. He believed in the wisdom of romance novels and was going to hold onto hope. 

His phone buzzed and he realised he’d been supposed to update his parents once he arrived. Felix felt too exhausted, mentally and physically, to set up his room or explore, so he decided to entertain himself with his family until his fiance came home.

—

Felix was fetched a couple of hours later by another member of the staff, another young alpha but one with a sweet dimpled grin. He led Felix into what he recognised from earlier was the living room, where his fiance was sat on the long couch. He was hit by Doek-su’s scent first, a strong earthy smell, before he could see the back of his head. The man must have smelled him too, because he was up on his feet and turning around before Felix could announce his presence. He was grinning, looking him up and down, and Felix gave him a small smile of his own.

“Felix! I’m sorry I couldn’t be here earlier, had an important trip to Beijing to plan. Ah, you look just as stunning as the first time I saw you,” he said smoothly and reached out for Felix’ hand to pull him closer and smack their lips together. This was only their second kiss – the first one being in Sydney a week ago before he’d flown back to Korea – and Felix’ eyes widened at how sudden it was. He kissed back and pulled away before it deepened.

“Thank you,” he said and licked his lips, feeling awkward. They’d known each other for a month, they knew so little about the other that nothing came natural for him to say. “Maybe we can have dinner together?”

“I’d love to, beautiful, but how about we do that tomorrow? I am coming here only briefly to make sure you’re settling in nicely and introduce you to a few people, and then I have to hurry back. You can take the time to unpack, tour the house, make yourself at home. And tomorrow, I’m taking you out to the most expensive restaurant in all of Seoul, how does that sound?” Felix tried not to feel disappointed and let it show on his face or scent. His fiance was a busy person, he had to be given where he was and what he did for a living. And he’d made time today to come welcome him, so that was something. Felix had to look at the positives. He nodded politely.

“Yes, of course. Sounds great.”

“Great. So, these two here are… general errand boys,” Doek-su said with a wave of his hand towards the boy that had escorted him to the living room and the black-haired man from earlier. Felix smiled at them and they bowed their heads a little. Doek-su didn’t offer any names. “There’s a few more of them on shifts. Whenever you need anything around the house, you can just call for them. There’s intercoms in every room, by the door. English might be a problem, but there should be always at least one staff member on shift that speaks it, so they’ll figure it out.” Felix nodded, biting his lip. “This here is going to be your personal bodyguard.”

Doek-su pointed in the other direction and Felix realised there were more people in the room he hadn’t noticed before. Two of them stood in front of the fireplace and one was giving him a nod. Felix nodded back and tried not to let his gaze linger.

“He’ll be accompanying you at all times that you are out of the mansion, and will have a copy of your schedule. He’s on call 24/7, so even while in here, if anything were to happen or you decide to go out, you can just contact him.” The bodyguard was an alpha, too, Felix could tell even though he hadn’t caught a whiff of his scent yet. He blinked.

“Wait, why do I need a bodyguard? I won’t be doing anything dangerous,” Felix said and looked back at his fiance, who just laughed and clapped him on his shoulder.

“Felix, you’re my fiance and soon will be my wife.” Felix winced at that. Was the alpha one of those knotheads that misgendered omegas just to make sure they stayed below them? “I’m an important person, Felix. We can’t risk kidnapping or paparazzi mobbing you now, can we?” The protest died in Felix’ throat. Kidnapping? He stared at Doek-su’s face as he said it so casually and wondered if he’d heard correctly. “Nothing to worry about, beautiful. That’s why you have a bodyguard. He has experience doing this – and he’s even Australian as well!”

Felix turned back to the alpha, who squared his shoulders. He didn’t look typically Korean but he hadn’t paid much attention to that earlier. Well, that was a relief. He’d be able to hold a conversation with the person that he was going to be glued to every day. That was – sweet, of Doek-su. Felix looked back at him with a small smile. There was hope still! “Thank you,” he said and his fiance winked at him.

“And finally, this is your personal driver. He’s also at your beck and call 24/7. He’ll also have your schedule but you can use his services at any time.” Doek-su pointed at the man next to his bodyguard. A slightly shorter but even more built man, who Felix once again assumed was an alpha. Were there any other subgenders employed in his household? Felix was glad to have a driver nonetheless, as he couldn’t drive himself. Wasn’t that a crazy thought to have? He had a personal driver. And a bodyguard! “And that’s it. You know everyone you should know, for now.” Felix nodded at him and took a step closer to the two men with a bow.

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Felix,” he introduced and looked between the two.

“Bang Chan, pleasure to meet you,” the bodyguard said with an easy grin and Felix returned it automatically. The alpha revealed dimples and laughter lines when he smiled. Now that he was closer, Felix could also get a hint of his scent; it reminded him of the ocean.

“Seo Changbin,” the driver said, drawing his attention. Felix gave him a small smile too.

“Alright, now that this is done, I think I’ll be taking off. Dinner will be ready for you at 18:30, and one of the errand boys will take you to the dining room. Feel free to explore the mansion and the gardens. I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?” Felix nodded and Doek-su leaned in for another surprising kiss. Felix had to get used to those; they were going to be married in a month.

“Have a nice time at work,” he said and Doek-su nodded as he touched his cheek. He was staring at Felix’ face intently and Felix almost fidgeted.

“Those are some big dark circles under your eyes. Not sleeping well?” Felix blinked, not having expected that comment. He had in fact not been sleeping at all ever since Doek-su arrived at his family home with a ring. 

“It was just a long day of traveling,” he lied and his fiance’s scent spiked as if sensing that. Felix took a step back and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. I also just didn’t put on any of my make up today – long day of traveling! – but I’ll rest up well for tomorrow I promise.”

“Good. Well, enjoy your evening, beautiful.”

—

Felix had dinner alone in the gigantic dining room that seemed fit to host a King’s feast. His meal barely took up a twentieth of the table and that made him feel small. He did introduce himself to Seungmin and Jeongin, however, the errand boys, and knew who was who now. He went to bed straight after dinner, too exhausted and brain too unfocused to do anything useful.

In contrast to the restless nights of the past week, that night he woke up feeling as if he’d slept on a cloud. After exploring his own room more and unpacking his suitcase – two more boxes were on the way, his parents had already sent them via post – Felix went off touring the house. It was not only gigantic and expensive looking, but also had anything one could expect in a small city. A pool, an entertainment room, a home theater, a gym, a sauna. From one of the floor to ceiling windows in the West side of the mansion, he could see another smaller house situated a few hundred meters away. Squinting, he recognised his driver, Changbin, talking and laughing with an unfamiliar man. If he had to wager a guess, he’d say that was the staff house.

Felix’s fiance was so rich that he had his own miniature city in his house and his staff had a separate accommodation. He shook his head and went back to his room. 

Doek-su left clothes for him to wear at their dinner, Felix was told by a hand-written note handed to him by a lady that he assumed was a maid given her outfit. Well, his fiance did employ other subgenders, it turned out, just in very stereotypical positions. Felix had to fight a frown as she laid out the garments on his bed and left without speaking at all. She probably didn’t know English. “ For a special omega ” the note said, with Doek-su’s name signed under. Felix bit his lip and looked at the cashmere shirt and fancy pants. It was a nice outfit, tight and probably accentuating his butt and arms nicely. Given the brand name, it was also very expensive. Felix wouldn’t have bought something in this style himself, but he didn’t mind wearing it. 

His fiance was already pampering him. Maybe he was a bit distant and a workaholic, but Felix knew one didn’t gift someone luxury clothing if they didn’t at least care a little. 

They were to travel to the restaurant separately. Felix walked out of his room half an hour before the reservation, running a little late because he’d decided to put on some nice makeup for the occasion, and almost jumped when he saw his bodyguard leaning against the opposite wall. The man was dressed in a blank tank top which had Felix’ eyes immediately glued to the wide shoulders and arms on display before he looked back up to meet Chan’s gaze. The man was as tall as Felix, which made him short for an alpha, but packed a lot of muscle.

“Are you ready to go, sir?” Chan asked and Felix cleared his throat, nodding. Chan pushed away from the wall and showed the way to Felix with his free hand. He was holding a leather jacket in the other one, thrown over his shoulder. Felix started walking silently, not trusting his voice, and was followed closely by his bodyguard.

It was silent in the car, with only Changbin and Chan exchanging a few words in Korean a couple of times. It was obvious Changbin felt more comfortable speaking in Korean and Felix didn’t feel easy enough yet to just start a conversation, so he kept quiet until they got to the restaurant. Chan escorted him in, talking silently in Korean into his earpiece occasionally – he had an earpiece, Felix was in a movie – and touching his arm quickly a few times to grab Felix’ attention and steer him in a particular direction.

Doek-su was sitting at their table already, two tall glasses of wine waiting. Felix tried to smile as his fiance got up and stepped closer, grabbing his shoulders and bringing him into a kiss. He barely flinched that time! “You’re dismissed,” Doek-su said to the side and Felix felt the fresh scent of Chan disappear. “You look exquisite.” He grabbed Felix’ hand and twirled him around, checking him out from all sides. Felix blushed.

“Thank you for the gift,” he said politely and Doek-su chuckled.

“There will be more to come.” He helped Felix sit in his chair and then dinner began. Halfway through the main meal, after a few brief discussions Felix tried to pick up about the rooms in the mansion and Doek-su’s work and the food the beautiful place offered, Doek-su started up a conversation himself. “So, I think now’s a good time to discuss some things – about our marriage.” Felix blinked and then nodded.

“Yes, sure. I was actually also going to bring up the wedding. You said you want it to happen in a month, right? We should get on planning!” Felix chuckled. He’d always wanted to get married and have a family (although he had imagined that would happen later in life), so he was a bit excited about the idea of organising the wedding despite how rushed it was.

“Oh no, baby, there’s people whose job it is to plan. You’ll just show up and look beautiful as always,” Deok-su assured and Felix opened his mouth, but his fiance wasn’t done, “I meant more so your role in the Choi family and what is going to be expected of you.”

“Okay…”

“I’m sure you understand you’ll be a public figure from now on, as my wife.” He waited for a nod and then smiled. “Now, I know you’re already a great young man, I have no doubt in your upbringing, but there is a certain etiquette you’re not familiar with, both in terms of Korean culture and in terms of being in a room full of other powerful and influential people, which is why you’ll be attending lessons.”

“Etiquette lessons?” Felix asked, shocked, and Doek-su nodded with a wave of his hand.

“See? This kind of interruption is not polite.” Felix blinked. He was going to be sent to etiquette classes so that he could interact with Doek-su’s important work buddies without embarrassing him, was that what was happening? He could feel his scent sour, but couldn’t stop it and frankly didn’t want to. What? “You’re also living in Korea now, you should learn the language. I’ve assigned you a private tutor, the best of the best, a translator of politicians and the like here in Seoul. I know that you are still working on your degree, so I’d suggest you start with a Master in Business and Management only after you’ve obtained your diploma, or at least towards its end. But for now–”

“I’m sorry but what? A Master in Business and Management?” Felix blurted out, his shock turning into anger. Doek-su seemed to have already decided for him quite a lot of things that Felix should have had a say in.

“Felix, you’ll be married to the CEO and founder of Choi Inc. You’ll need to know at least something about what it is we do, and perhaps can become a board member in the fut–”

“And what if I don’t want to?” Felix asked and Doek-su leveled him with a flat stare, his earthy scent turning stronger. Felix swallowed and fought against the instinct to cower away and bare his throat in submission. He wasn’t going to back down from this. He wasn’t going to have his life dictated any more than it already was.

“Alright, let’s leave this for a future discussion, shall we? I only want to give you opportunities, beautiful,” Doek-su said, a very much fake smile on his face, but he was letting off soothing pheromones now. Felix took a deep breath and nodded once. Maybe the man was just bad at showing he cared and doing nice things for others. Felix could help him with that, he supposed. “In any case, I would like to offer you to become the new director of Choi Inc.’s charity fundraiser. You will get to choose which charities to sponsor and raise money for in the different quarters, host galas, the works. But only if you’d like that, of course. I’m not here to force anything on you.”

Felix appreciated Doek-su giving him the option to refuse, but that particular role he could fall into actually called to him. Donating to charity and making a change in the world given their place of power, money and opportunity seemed like a great way to give back to the community. “I want to do this! It sounds exciting,” he said and his fiance winked.

“I knew you’d like the idea, that’s why I suggested! You’ll work with the current director for a while, to get to know how things operate there. Ah, I’m so lucky that my fiance is so caring,” Doek-su said and kissed his hand. Felix blushed a little and cleared his throat.

“Thank you for the offer,” he said quietly and took a sip from his wine. 

“I think this is it for now. Your schedule has been updated and can be found printed in your office and included in your Google calendar.” Felix had a new Google account? He nodded slowly and then it was quiet. Felix’ head was buzzing with information. He wanted to go back to easier topics.

“About the wedding,” he started after pushing his food around in the plate for a while. “We will fly my family over, right?”

“Yes, of course. We can’t have you be all alone. The guest list has about 200 people currently, I thought we could keep it simple and private. Feel free to add anyone you’d like, however. You’ll find the contact information of the wedding planner in your email box.” Two hundred people? Felix’ mouth fell open at that. And that was simple? “I still haven’t decided if I want to fly everyone out to some exotic place, I don’t know, Iceland or New Zealand, or just rent one of the royal palaces here in Seoul.”

“Seoul, please,” Felix blurted out and his fiance looked up to meet his eyes. Felix cleared his throat. “Uh, if you want my opinion, I think getting married here would be nicer. Fits us more.” And was a lot more environmentally friendly, less costly and less extravagant. Felix could live in a mansion, have a private bodyguard and rent a palace, but he had to draw the line somewhere! He took a sip of water, feeling his throat dry up. 

“I’ll think about it. Oh, you’re on suppressants currently, correct?” Felix choked on the water and put down the glass.

“Uh, yes.” The switch in topic was unexpected. 

“You should stop them now, maybe we’ll be lucky enough to have you in heat during the honeymoon,” Doek-su said with a satisfied grin and Felix could tell he was getting excited from the way his scent changed. Felix didn’t reply for a few seconds, taken aback.

“I would rather not to,” he said slowly. “The last thing we’d want is for me to be in heat during the wedding.” Also, it was his own body – why would his fiance decide what happened with it?

“Felix,” Doek-su said with a small sigh and Felix couldn’t help but feel like he’d disappointed the man. “I give you so much and I only ask for so little in return. You’ll be my wife soon, I want us to be able to fully enjoy it.”

“I understand but… There’s also, uh, risks–”

“Pregnancy you mean? Why call it a risk? We’ll be married. Kids are usually part of marriage.” Felix nodded and searched for the right words.

“Yes, but… I was hoping the kids would come a bit later. I mean, I’m twenty-two and I’m still studying. I’m also dancing and I don’t want to–”

“Felix, beautiful, I’m forty-one. My clock is ticking, I want to have kids fill the house,” Doek-su said looking Felix straight in the eyes. Felix had to look away, uncomfortable.

“I get it, I really do. I just wish – maybe we can wait just a bit? I just moved here, I don’t know anyone, I don’t know the language, I’d like to… acclimate first, perhaps? And–”

“You know me, Felix. I’ve signed you up for Korean lessons. You’ll be done with your studies in a year. You have a stable income, you have an alpha to take care of you and provide for you and your family. Not just the children we have, but your other family too. If this is not the right time, then what is?”

Felix clenched his teeth, thinking back on the happiness of his mother’s face when Deok-su told her her medical bills had been taken care of and she was being relocated to the most expensive private hospital in Sydney. His fiance really was already taking care of everyone Felix loved, and they weren’t even married yet. 

“I – Maybe I’ll stop the suppressants after the wedding?” he proposed as a compromise and Doek-su nodded once, seemingly happy with the outcome. Felix wasn’t as content, but he hoped that things were going to change over the next few weeks: they had plenty of time to get closer and for Felix to become more integrated in his new home. Also, stopping the suppressants didn’t necessarily mean they were going to have a baby immediately. These things took some time usually. And, well, his mother had been a ballerina before Felix was born then continued in-between giving birth to him and his younger sisters, and even after! Having a baby didn’t have to mean the end of dancing. Right?

“I’m glad we can come to an agreement so easily, baby.” His husband raised a glass to clink against Felix’ and Felix gave him a tight smile.

—

The next couple of weeks were chaotic. Felix did indeed have a schedule and it included a lot more than the Korean course, etiquette lesson and meetings with the director of Choi Inc.’s fundraiser. He had fitness sessions every other day, an appointment with a dietitian and a tailor, as well as meetings with a few branch directors at Choi Inc. to start learning what it was the company did. There was barely any time left in the day for Felix’ university work or filming vlogs – and he uploaded one weekly, it was a strict schedule he had kept to for almost four years now and he wasn’t about to just break it!

Doek-su came from the top of the top, he worked almost all day every day, he was living in a different world in which all that was normal. So Felix grit his teeth and went to all of his appointments on time, Chan following him like a shadow everywhere, and worked on his own responsibilities in the evening when he ended up eating dinner alone and then spending the night by himself in his large rooms. 

Why was he alone? His fiance had to leave for ten days for Dubai and Felix was conflicted. One one side, he wanted to scream. Doek-su had flown him over from another continent, taken him from all he knew and plunged him into this new, unfamiliar world, only to leave him to deal with it on his own. Where were the cozy nights spent on the couch, drinking wine and talking about their deepest fears, forming a bond like in the books? Where was the charming alpha, full with compliments and gifts, that promised him the world? Well, in Dubai. On the other hand, Felix secretly liked that Doek-su wasn’t around. There were no awkward conversations, no surprise kisses that he still didn’t enjoy, no talks of children, no need to put on a mask.

The only person Felix really interacted with, apart from all the strangers he was meeting every day for his numerous appointments, was Chan and these interactions were often… unwelcome. Felix felt weird around the alpha, not fully used to having someone tail him almost every moment of the day, and weirdly paranoid that the man was going to tattle to his fiance about everything Felix did. Felix wasn’t even doing something immoral or illegal, but the irrational fear that he was being monitored at all times didn’t leave his mind. Chan was chatty, always having something to say even when it wasn’t his place to speak and it grated on Felix a little. Like on the first Friday Felix spent in the mansion. Chan walked him inside the house and then stopped in the living room. “I’ll be on stand by if you need me,” he said and Felix blinked.

“What for? There is nothing more on the agenda for today.” He looked at Chan with confusion as the man’s eyes widened and he let out a loud breath with a weird face.

“Wait, are you going to spend Friday night alone in your room?” the bodyguard asked, as if it was his business to know. Felix frowned and lifted his chin.

“Have a good evening, Chan,” he told the man flatly and turned around to head to his room. 

He didn’t actively dislike Chan. He just… He felt like a prisoner and Chan, who followed him around and knew his location at all times, felt like the guard dog meant to keep him in his cell. It was circumstantial.

The Korean teacher, however: he disliked her. So far he had attended four lessons and was ready to make the fifth one be the last. She asked something in Korean, in a tone that he disliked immensely and made him want to cry. Felix pursed his lips and slouched a little in his chair. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“How will you understand if you’re not going to concentrate?” she snapped in English and Felix almost flinched. She had a point, his head was elsewhere, but her hostile approach to teaching wasn’t going to retain his attention either. “Did you spend any time at all at home studying the vocabulary list I gave you last time?” Okay, that one was on him.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t have any time–”

“You’re not taking these lessons seriously! You’re going to waste both of our time if you continue like this!” Felix grit his teeth.

“I’m sorry. Please continue, I will focus.” She muttered something under her breath and it sounded suspiciously close to her bashing his subgender. Felix frowned but held his tongue. She was already being extremely unpleasant and he didn’t want to cross swords even more. He wondered if that was her personality only when it came to him, to an omega, or if being assertive and aggressive was just necessary when working with politicians. Probably both.

The teacher said something in Korean, way too fast for him to parse well, although he could tell she said something about Seoul, and he sighed, rubbing his forehead and looking down. She sighed, too.

Just five minutes later, he was leaving her office in a hurry, bag clutched to his chest. Chan, who had been standing by the door, waiting, smoothly followed one step behind, glancing back once. He could tell the man sniffed the air and got hold of his anger and desperation, because within seconds Felix felt surrounded by alpha pheromones. “Is everything okay, sir? You don’t seem–”

“Please, for the love of God, just let me breathe!” Felix snapped, not fully meaning to. He flushed at his own outburst and lowered his head further, speeding up. The alpha matched his walk, silent this time but still releasing soothing pheromones that Felix begrudgingly allowed to take effect.

At least the rest of his classes and appointments were in English. That was good because he wasn’t stepping foot in that woman’s office ever again. 

The lack of Korean lessons freed up his agenda a little and the first thing Felix did was make the call to his family that he’d been delaying for days now. He called his mother, turning on video, and walked around his room as they chattered excitedly and caught him up on what he’d missed at home over the past week. 

“And you? How are you settling in? Where’s Doek-su? I want to say hi, such a great man!”

“I’m, uh, alright. He – he’s on a trip actually, not here. Here it’s –” Felix hesitated. Did he tell them he still felt like a guest and was having trouble getting himself to like his future husband? Was he being dramatic? 

“What is it, Felix? It’s okay, you can tell us, we won’t be too jealous,” his dad said with a laugh.

“Well, I might be. Olivia, come say hi to your brother! You should see his room, it’s bigger than our apartment! Oh, your sister just came back from school,” his mom said and seconds later her face popped into view.

“Oh my God, Felix! I would give my soul to live in this place!” she screamed and Felix chuckled weakly. 

“I’m so proud of you for doing so well for yourself. See, I always told you the kids will take care of us when we’re old and senile!” He was talking to Felix’ mom in the end and Felix’ stomach churned. Yeah, he was going to save them the trouble of knowing the real situation. He still held on hope that things would change given enough time anyway. Why bother them with something that wasn’t going to matter soon?

He hung up not long after, to go to his etiquette class on time. But he continued thinking about it. Were things going to change soon? Were things going to change ever? Or was he just going to continue feeling like an alien that felt obliged to stay because of his family and everything his husband had already done for him? He had to stop overthinking!

Chan was standing outside his door as usual, waiting patiently, and Felix blinked. He looked at the man’s exposed veiny arms and shook his head. Was that even professional, wearing such tank tops? Chan had to cover up more! “Everything okay, sir?” Felix’ eyes snapped up to Chan’s face and Felix opened his mouth to snap at him. Why was the alpha always making everything his business!? 

But then Felix took him in, really took him in for once, and couldn’t force words past his lips. The man was casually standing there, powerful alpha scent surrounding him like a force field, eyes locked on Felix with no trace of mocking. His stupid big lips were slightly pouted and – he looked sincere. He was oozing comfort and safety and – Felix growled under his breath and turned around, hitting his head into the door. Hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back before his forehead made contact with the wood a second time and Felix blinked up at Chan. The man released him immediately and stepped backwards to put space between them, but now he had a small smile on.

“I’m your protection detail, I can’t let you get harmed even by yourself.” Felix couldn’t help it and huffed. “So, is everything okay?”

“Yes, thank you, Chan,” Felix said and had to give the man a smile in return. Chan himself grinned, the crinkles by his eyes appearing as well as the dimples. He was a very handsome alpha. That wasn’t what was important – he had never once made Felix feel awkward or intimidated or in any way unsafe. On the contrary, his scent reminded Felix of home and his presence was reassuring. He was Felix’ bodyguard and he was getting paid for it, of course, but Felix was almost certain the job description didn’t include making sure the charge is feeling alright emotionally as well, just because they seemed off. Maybe Felix felt like a prisoner in this beautiful mansion and city, and maybe Chan was his guard dog, but he didn't seem ready to bite him. He was also the only fluent English speaker apart from Felix’ fiance and that had to count for something. At the very least, he hadn’t done anything to warrant Felix getting prissy, even if he got chatty sometimes. Felix felt embarrassed to have been targeting the first available person to let his frustrations out on.

“Shall we go, sir?” Chan asked suddenly and Felix realised he’d just been staring at the man. He flushed and nodded, following Chan out.

Chapter Text

On his tenth day in Korea, Felix researched dance studios nearby. He didn’t really have much free time, but he figured he could replace the boring gym sessions and the now unofficially canceled Korean lessons with dancing. He’d gone way too long without it. He itched to dance.

That was how he found himself entering Dance!Dance! , a dancing studio that he hadn’t been able to reach over the phone, and had decided to drop by on his way to the cosmetics store. He looked around the empty space. There was a desk for what he assumed was a receptionist but it was vacated.

A door opened and a tall man came out, looking sweaty and disheveled. An alpha. Felix caught a glimpse of the wooden floor behind him before the door closed and he guessed the man had just been dancing. He spoke in Korean and Felix bit his lip, looking at Chan. “He’s asking if he can help,” Chan said quietly before facing the man and saying something back in Korean.

“My English is not good,” the man said and Felix smiled brightly. At least he was willing to try to speak with Felix! “Hwang Hyunjin,” he introduced and stepped closer. Felix shook his hand.

“Lee Felix. I’m not sure who I should speak to – I just, I was curious if it’s possible for me to rent a dancing room for a few hours a few times a week?” Hyunjin made a face at some point and his eyes glanced at Chan quickly. Felix turned to his bodyguard who chuckled and repeated in Korean. 

“Ah yes. You can.” The door opened again and another alpha came out, looking grumpy. He said something very quickly, addressing Hyunjin and Hyunjin squatted quickly. Felix blinked, confused but then there was a hand in front of his face as Chan grabbed a shoe mid-air before it hit him. He blinked and took a step back, looking at Chan, who dropped the shoe and started talking to the newcomer. “When you want to dance?” Hyunjin asked as he came back up and started walking towards the desk, as if his colleague wasn’t in a heated discussion and hadn’t just tried to physically harm him. Felix slowly walked after him.

“If possible, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at around 9 in the morning?” Hyunjin blinked and then pushed a notebook towards him.

“Minho! We have new dancer,” Hyunjin called out and the other two alphas stepped closer while Felix noted down his desired times. 

“I see!” Hyunjin rolled his eyes and started talking in Korean again, Minho replying immediately. Chan chuckled and Felix looked at him with question in his eyes when he was done. Chan just shook his head and asked something in Korean. Hyunjin replied and Chan turned to Felix again.

“They accept payment by card.” Oh right, payments!

Soon after, Felix and Chan were walking out. Felix found himself smiling. The two bickering alphas seemed nice and friendly enough. They’d expressed interest in being there the first time he went dancing, Hyunjin because he wanted to see him dance and Minho because he wanted to make sure Felix would not damage the floor or mirrors. Felix wondered if they’d want to join his dancing sessions again afterwards. Having a dancing partner had always been so much more entertaining for Felix.

“You should perhaps speak to Mr. Choi about this new activity, sir.” Felix looked at Chan.

“He knows I love dancing,” Felix defended and then felt stupid for being defensive – who was Doek-su to stop him from dancing? “Besides, this is just a personal hobby of mine. It has nothing to do with the marriage.” Chan didn’t have anything to say to that.

Since his fiance had instructed the tailor to make Felix a few sets of clothes in neutral colors – beige, gray, white and black – he decided on a small makeup shopping spree. Felix’ wardrobe mainly consisted of colorful outfits so most of his palettes were quite vibrant. He wanted to buy a few things that would go well with the new part of his wardrobe. And he wanted to do it unprompted. Show Doek-su that he also thought about those things and took his image seriously. 

Felix put on the tan lipstick using the tester and looked at himself for a few long seconds. He wasn’t sure it fit his skin tone nicely, it made his lips blend in with the rest of his face. Frowning and feeling a little awkward, he turned to Chan. “What do you think?” he asked impulsively and then realised that Chan was speaking quietly to a security guard that seemed to be working at the mall. Felix blinked and looked around.

It was then that he realised there were dozens if not hundreds of faces glued to the windows of the store. A couple of security personnel were standing by the closed doors, disallowing anyone from entering. Felix looked around again, noticing only a couple of other customers inside, seeming a bit worried by the crowd. Felix himself was worried, too, now. Was the crowd –

A girl banging on the window drew his attention. No, the poster in her arms did. There was an image of him, one from Instagram, next to the text “ LOVE YOU FELIX .” The crowd was here because of him. There were other young girls and boys, there were people with cameras. Felix had been an internet persona for years, but he’d never even imagined getting to such a point of fame. He took in a sharp breath and suddenly his view was cut off by Chan.

“The place is mobbed and there is no back entrance. I will guide you out, sir, just stay close, eh?” Felix was looking at his face but not really compiling. He nodded because Chan was staring at him with expectancy and then his bodyguard placed an arm around his shoulders and started leading him out.

The moment the door opened, the screams got so much louder. Felix tried to breathe but felt suffocated. There were strangers pushing microphones under his nose from all sides, yelling in rapid Korean at him. There were what he expected to be fans, screaming and reaching out to touch him. There were flashes of cameras, some of them blinding him. He could barely keep his eyes open, his nose was filled with unfamiliar scents, his ears were getting overwhelmed. His heart felt like it was close to exploding. Felix’ breathing got faster and more shallow and he tried to push himself closer into Chan. The man forcefully removed people from their path with one hand and pulled him towards his chest, his hand on Felix’ head. 

Felix’ nose ended up at the man’s neck where he could scent that homey smell that did wonders to keep him level-headed. Felix took deep breaths and tried to tune out the rest of the world. He grabbed onto Chan’s shirt and allowed himself to be dragged towards the parking lot where Changbin was waiting for them, also surrounded by people. Someone pulled at his jacket and Felix let out a whine when he heard it rip. “Almost there, sir,” Chan said into his ear and Felix nodded.

Then Chan was opening the car door and gently pushing Felix in before sitting down himself and saying something quick to Changbin in Korean. Felix stood frozen on the seat, staring out of the window at the group of yelling people. Changbin was pressing the car horn, trying to get the crowd out of his way so he could safely drive away.

“You’re shaking,” Chan whispered suddenly and Felix looked down at his hands. He put them between his thighs and squeezed them there.

“I – I didn’t expect this,” he said and cleared his throat. He sniffed the air and let Chan’s scent wash over him as a safety blanket. He sighed and pulled his legs on the seat to hug them. “Thank you,” Felix said quietly, looking at Chan with gratitude. The man gave him a smile with a shrug and Felix closed his eyes, trying to shake off the feel of hands on his body. Straight to the shower, that was where he was headed next.

—

Doek-su was finally back, a day earlier than he was supposed to, and Felix found out because his name was shouted from the other side of the house as he stepped out of his office. He blinked and hurried to the living room, feeling his heart speed up. He hadn’t even done anything wrong in his fiance’s absence, the fear in his chest was irrational, but the angry voice of the alpha put him on edge.

“Hey, you’re back,” he said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. Doek-su turned around from where he’d been talking to his guards and waved them off before leveling Felix with a glare. Felix gulped.

“Have you seen all the articles about you?” Felix in fact hadn’t. He shook his head slowly, the fear intensifying. He raked his brain for some compromising situation he’d fallen into in the past two weeks since he arrived, but couldn’t find one. Doek-su thrust a phone in his face and Felix moved backwards to get his eyes to focus.

There was a picture of him clearly distressed looking, being escorted by Chan towards their car, next to another one of him from his latest vlog. The one where he’d announced he was getting married soon. There was no way the media took his words out of context and twisted them somehow, was there? Doek-su had had him speak with his publicist about what he was going to say before he filmed that. The title of the BBC article simply stated “ Korean billionaire Doek-su Choi settles down again with YouTube omega Felix Lee .” Felix furrowed his brows, unable to understand what the problem was.

“I specifically had clothes tailored for you, and you go out looking like this?” his fiance asked, obviously irked and Felix blinked. He almost smiled at the ridiculous question but the alpha’s cold eyes boring holes into his face stopped him. 

“What is wrong with my clothes?” he asked quietly and looked down on himself. He was in home clothes currently, just comfortable sweats and a T-shirt, but at that outing he’d put quite some effort into his outfit. “I really like them, I thought you–”

“Felix, you’re a public figure. We’ve had this talk before. You can’t go out looking like you were collected from the street!” Felix scowled and stepped backwards, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I don’t – those are my clothes and my style – you can’t just – this is –”

“Felix, Felix, beautiful. I know, and I love them. I like the way you are and how you present yourself,” Doek-su soothed, hands in the air and toning down his scent. “But out there? You represent me and my company. Am I dressed in a suit right now?” He spread his arms out and Felix took in his casual shirt and khaki pants. He shook his head slowly, realising what his fiance was saying. “No. But I wear a suit every time I go out, because there’s an image I have to uphold.” 

“Yeah, I understand. I just – I’m sorry, I didn’t think me going to the store would attract attention. I…” Felix remembered how scary that moment had been. He felt a little silly afterwards, for shutting down completely in there, but his senses had been completely overwhelmed at the time, not to mention the fact that he was being shouted at in a language he didn’t understand. And whether he liked it or not, he was a (for now) unmated omega that had been surrounded by hundreds of people, a large portion of which alphas, with hands and scents all over him. Chan’s familiar smell was the only thing that had kept him together. “It was unexpected. And so scary,” he admitted and met his fiance's gaze. Doek-su sighed and pulled him by the arm to sit on the couch with him.

“I know, beautiful. But you’ll get used to it after a while. See why you need a bodyguard now?” Felix nodded and leaned back against the cushions. He opened his mouth but Doek-su continued, “You understand, right? You should dress in your new clothes from now on.” Felix looked away and stared in the distance for a while then nodded again. “Nice, great. Thank you, Felix. They’re all tailor-made clothes for you. Do you not like them?”

“No, that’s not it,” Felix denied immediately. They weren’t his style, but they weren’t ugly. He wouldn’t mind wearing these outfits, just… He’d hoped he could still wear his own clothes when he wasn’t on official business. “They’re great,” he whispered in the end and Doek-su grabbed his chin to bring him into a kiss. He slipped in tongue and Felix withdrew quickly after that. Making out was the last thing on his mind at that moment.

“I’m so happy we get along so well,” his fiance said with a smile and Felix tried to match it. “And since we’re so agreeable right now, I was hoping you’d tell me why you canceled your Korean lessons.” His tone changed and Felix felt like he’d just escaped one landmine only to walk into another.

“The teacher, I think we didn’t manage to find a middle ground,” Felix started and then frowned. Why was he covering up for her? “Honestly, she was being downright rude to me. Really snappy with my lack of progress even though I’ve only been going to her lessons for a few days!”

Doek-su sighed and Felix felt the disappointment, his fiance's scent souring and choking him up. Felix felt the need to curl up into himself and just lie down under the blankets and not get up. He’d hoped so much that something would change with his fiance's arrival back at the mansion. That somehow a switch would be flipped and their relations would be pleasant and romantic. Instead, he was getting told off, not without reason, and letting his future alpha down. Felix wanted to cry.

“Felix, she’s literally the best out there. She’s fought her way up there tooth and nail, maybe that’s why she’s come off as rude. But she’s a great woman, I’ve worked with her before. You should give her another shot.”

“Doek-su –”

“No, Felix. You need to learn Korean. You are in Korea now, about to take my last name and become part of my family and company. You have to learn the language.” The way he said it left no room for argument and Felix had nothing to say. Now more than ever he wanted to go against Doek-su’s wishes and not go back to the lessons, just to show him that he was still in charge of something in his life. At the same time, the omega part of him whined and wanted to appease. He bit his lip and stared in the opposite direction, fighting off tears in his conflict. He nodded curtly once and his fiance leaned closer to kiss his forehead. “Good. See how far some talking can get you? Next time something is up just tell me instead of sulking like a child.” Felix pursed his lips harder and nodded again, trying to keep the sadness out of his scent. He didn’t need to be compared to a crying baby next. “Oh, one last thing. I heard you’re no longer visiting your personal trainer. Why is that?”

Felix took in a deep breath and debated lying for a second, but knew better than that. “I decided to dance instead. It’s just as much of a workout.”

“Dancing? Felix, you have such a busy schedule. Do you really think there’s time–”

“I love dancing and I’m not stopping. I don’t want to stop, it makes me feel good. And I can do it instead of gym, so no time is lost.” Doek-su stared at him for a few seconds and then shrugged.

“Alright, baby. If that’s what you’d like to do in your free time, go ahead. Just make sure your other important responsibilities do not get neglected, yes?” Felix grit his teeth and didn’t look at Doek-su’s face again. 

“Of course.” He just wanted the conversation to end. And he hadn’t even married the guy yet. 

The conversation did end, although it dragged on for longer than Felix would have liked. He cried into his pillow before sleeping that night. Despite his win – he got to keep dancing in his schedule – he felt even more like a prisoner than before.

—

Felix had gotten accustomed to not interacting with Doek-su at all over the past few days, so having him arrive at his door in the morning and announce they’d be dining with his mother later that night had come as a shock to his system. He was going to meet his mother-in-law! He’d somehow forgotten his fiance's family in the mess that was his life, but knew he had to impress. 

He chose one of his custom tailored suits and put on some makeup – ordered online after the failed attempt at a shopping trip the previous week – to accentuate his eyes and lips. Felix looked at himself in the mirror and felt like he was so… bare. Biting his lip, he reached out for his body glitter container. He added some to his cheeks and above his eyes, some on his collarbones. He put on some more jewelry as well, until he felt like the outfit was complete. 

When he exited the room, he was no longer surprised to find Chan staring back at him. His bodyguard blinked and then raised an eyebrow. “You’re very sparkly, sir.” Felix rolled his eyes but smiled a little as they headed for the living room.

“Ah, beautiful! See how much better this outfit shows off your body?” Felix gave him a tight smile as Doek-su turned to Chan and his own bodyguards. “Get the limo and wait there, we’re coming in a few.” Felix watched the three men turn around and leave, unnerved. “Let me see you.” Doek-su spun him around and put a hand on his behind. Felix jumped and moved to the side, eyes wide. “So innocent.” Then he suddenly narrowed his eyes and leaned closer into Felix’ face. “What is this on your face?”

“Uh, makeup?”

“Don’t get smart with me. Go remove that clown face paint. You should stop playing around with glitter like you’re five.” Felix stood frozen, feeling like he’d been slapped. Against his wishes, his eyes teared up. He loved putting on glitter. He loved experimenting with makeup and feeling pretty with it. He’d never thought of it as… being clownish. “Come on, Felix, we need to leave soon. My mother is probably already waiting.”

Felix turned around on his heels and didn’t look back as he marched towards his room. He was hiding tears, but he was lucky his husband didn’t pick on that as being rude. Maybe he cried a little while he took off all of his make up, but no one was going to know, because he washed his face in the end. He took longer than he should have, reapplying everything sans the glitter, but he was glad to see the living room empty of his fiance. Chan was there, his arms crossed and bulking in front of his chest, obviously waiting for him. Felix stepped up closer and tried to lift his chin. The evening didn’t have to be completely ruined.

“Oh, you took it off? I thought it was really pretty, sir,” Chan said with a side grin, leaning in as if telling him a secret. One of his dimples popped up and it was really deep, Felix noted from up close. He met Chan’s eyes and gave him a small smile. Then they left.

The dinner with Doek-su’s mother was a disaster that had Felix ready to cry a second time that day.

“Felix, right?” the old woman asked with a raised eyebrow – actually her eyebrows were painted on to look like she had a high brow, literally – and Felix bowed a little. She was an alpha, he noted, and had an aura of authority, just like her son.

“Yes, it is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Choi.” She made a noise and leaned in closer to sniff him. He froze, not very comfortable with unfamiliar alphas getting so close and feeling self-conscious but knowing better than to pull back. 

“Well, he smells and looks good, I’ll give you that, Doek-su,” the woman said and moved away to grab her glass of wine. Felix sat down, feeling red. At least they had the balcony to themselves, cleared of any other patrons. Even the bodyguards were standing quite some feet away, essentially out of earshot with the classical music that played in the background. “Is he untouched?”

Felix had just taken a wine glass for himself and he spat out the drink back into it. Mrs. Choi gave him a disgusted look but Felix didn’t care. What kind of question was that? Who asked and cared about these things nowadays? He turned to his fiance at the same time the man nodded. “Of course. Can’t you smell him?” Felix gasped.

“Doek-su!?” he hissed lowly, his cheeks reddening even more. That was private information.

“People can tell when they smell you, Felix, I haven’t revealed state secrets,” Doek-su said with a laugh and Felix gripped the glass so hard he was scared it would break. Why was his virginity so important that it had to open the conversation of the evening!? Doek-su said something in Korean to his mother who smirked and replied back, in Korean. Felix grit his teeth and drank from the wine.

“So are there any… dirty shirts we need to wash before you take on the family name?” was the second question she’d asked him, once the conversation switched back to English almost five full minutes later. And then, the next topic of discussion just floored him. “I understand you make videos of your life. Once you’re pregnant, are you going to stop that? I hear children on YouTube is a controversial topic. Quite lucrative, however. Appeals to… a lot of audiences with different and unique desires.”

Felix stared at her, uncomprehending. Somehow her bringing up him getting pregnant was the least offensive part in the conversation. Was she suggesting that it would be financially beneficial for him to film vlogs with his hypothetical child so that pedophiles could give him views? They were both staring at him and Felix’ hand on the fork was shaking. In anger, in shock, in disgust, in fear – in emotion . “Uh, I, uh, I haven’t thought about this – it will be quite a long time in the future, so I haven’t –”

“Doek-su, you’re of age now. You should have an heir as soon as possible,” the old woman said, turning to her son and completely ignoring Felix. Felix swallowed and slid lower into the chair, uncaring about his slouched position that didn’t fit the etiquette. He wanted to disappear, to be swallowed by the Earth.

His fiance replied in Korean and it was obvious that Felix was meant to be kept out of that conversation. He looked down at his plate and stabbed an olive to put in his mouth. He liked olives, even though they reminded him of his heats. He was on suppressants but it was only healthy for him to take them for years at a time if he allowed one heat a year to take course. And when that happened, he’d usually stay with his omega grandmother, who had an empty guest room, previously his mother’s childhood room, that could be locked. She’d bring him snacks throughout the days while he writhed in pain and took care of his heat, and those snacks always included olives. Lately, her dementia had been developing rapidly and she sometimes didn’t remember their family ties and yet she still cared for him during a heat nonetheless.

“Are you a picky eater?” Felix snapped out of his daze and looked at Doek-su’s mother. He glanced at his salad and realised he’d only eaten the olives. The way she looked at him, as if she was so much above him, ruffled his feathers. He grit his teeth and didn’t reply, putting the fork down, already done with his starter. With the whole meal, actually. He wanted to scream.

This was stupid. What was he even doing here!? He wasn’t in love, he was just there to be ridiculed. No, he was there to be bred, he was starting to suspect more and more. He didn’t speak for the rest of the evening, thinking on how to breach this subject afterwards. Maybe he couldn’t do this. Maybe he was weak and he couldn’t go along with this. His family’s financial problems could be taken care of in other ways, right? His YouTube channel didn’t make much but maybe now with his newfound fans – well, these fans were there because of Doek-su. In any case, his mother’s debt to the hospital was already paid off! So maybe – well, she was now registered in an even more expensive hospital, accumulating even bigger sums to pay off. Felix felt like a prisoner. He felt like the cell was just getting smaller and tighter with every passing day. He wanted out! He had to talk to Doek-su.

“Ah, you have to excuse my mother,” was the first thing his fiance said when they entered the limo again. Felix glanced quickly at the bodyguards sitting on the other side of the car, not having expected Doek-su to speak in front of them of such matters. They seemed to be staring out of the window, and Felix assumed they were accustomed to Doek-su’s life and knew to just tune out whenever they weren’t needed, but Felix still felt embarrassed to have this conversation there. “She’s old, she grew up in a different world. She still carries some of these old backwards ways of thinking. I apologise that you had to sit through that, beautiful.”

Felix had to admit he was surprised. That was the last thing he’d expected his fiance to say. Scold him for his slouching maybe, or tell him it was rude to only pick on his food the whole night. But not apologise for the way dinner had gone. Felix stared at his face, trying to gauge if he was sincere. His fiance was releasing calming pheromones but they didn’t have any effect on Felix, not after the long evening of him almost completely ignoring Felix’ presence and discussing Felix’ body as if it was his property. Doek-su sighed.

“My previous wife was… very different from you. And she dealt some damage both to me and my company. My mother is looking out for me, but she’s doing it in very harmful ways.” Felix bit his lip and nodded. 

“I see,” he said when the silence stretched out. He was still angry, he still felt like he was no better than a broodmare. But maybe it was all a misunderstanding introduced by Doek-su’s mother. When they’d spoken earlier about it, Doek-su had agreed they’d revisit the topic of children in the future, so Felix decided to trust that and not the performative dinner in front of the old alpha with old views. “Well, I feel like she really didn’t like me.”

“Oh, no, Felix, baby. She loved you!” Felix frowned.

“I didn’t hear her say that.” Or anything close to that. Doek-su chuckled.

“If you did go to your Korean lessons, maybe you would’ve heard,” he said as if a joke and pulled out his phone. Felix blinked, feeling a thinly veiled jab. He did end up being scolded, after all. He just nodded once and looked out of the window for the rest of the ride.

—

Despite all the work he had to plunge himself into, between everything Doek-su kept adding to his agenda and his own university load, Felix fought hard to spend at least six hours in the dancing studio every week. Dancing with Hyunjin and Minho felt good. The first time he went to the studio, they stood to the side for a little while, the room feeling awkward because of Felix’ nervous pheromones. He was essentially dancing on his own while three alphas watched intently – because of course Chan wasn’t going to leave him to his devices, especially not in a room with two unfamiliar unmated alphas.

On the third song, Hyunjin had started moving his own body too and slowly inched closer to the center of the dance floor, and by the end of it the three of them were dancing to it together. Felix didn’t feel nervous anymore, and they spent the rest of the hour excitedly going through their respective playlists and showing each other different choreographies. The next time Felix visited, Minho was already in the dance room, stretching and waiting for him and soon after Hyunjin arrived, looking ruffled – he wasn’t a morning person Chan translated – and they danced. They continued dancing together and Felix loved it.

“Oh wow, that was so good,” Felix panted as he uncapped his water bottle. The two dancers seemed to agree and Hyunjin flopped to the floor with a towel to wipe at his face. Minho said something quickly and both of them turned to Chan who was sitting on a foldable chair at the edge of the room, looking at them with a calm expression.

“He’s asking if you’re self-taught,” the bodyguard called out and Felix nodded.

“Yeah, mostly. I haven’t done lessons but I do follow YouTube tutorials,” Felix admitted with a shy chuckle. “And my mom used to teach me some ballet when I was very little.” Chan translated in Korean. “I’ve also made a few YouTube tutorials myself, but I don’t think I’m made for this. For teaching I mean. I do better when I’m just dancing.” Both alphas said something, with Hyunjin laughing and kicking at Minho’s foot. Minho raised his water bottle as if to throw at his friend and Hyunjin cowered with another laugh. Then he looked up at Felix and said something again. Felix looked at Chan.

“Hyunjin was making fun of Minho’s teaching skills. And then he asked you what your YouTube channel is.” Felix showed them his page and Minho congratulated him on his consistency of weekly videos for so long.

No matter how busy Felix got, he’d always found some time for his vlogs and he continued doing so. Since arriving in Korea he hadn’t been in the best of moods, so he hadn’t undertaken any exhilarating adventures to share with the world, but there were still parts of his life that he could film and rant about. He showed his viewers his gorgeous walk-in closet and fancy vanity table.

“It’s just so beautiful here. Even the house is amazing. There is so much space!” Felix chuckled as he placed his eye cream. He was getting ready for the day, sharing his new skin care routine – the fancy one that his newly appointed dermatologist and cosmetician had devised up for him – with his fans. “It really is like a castle, and I am like a princess! It’s… a dream come true.” Well, it was technically true. He’d always dreamed of a big, open space, where he could go wild with interior design and decorations. He was also caking it up a little, though; from one side his viewers didn’t deserve to listen to his whining, and on the other – Doek-su and his publicists were going to have a field day if he just broke into tears in front of the camera the way he wanted to. He continued rambling, talking about his visits to various establishments and restaurants. His parents watched these vlogs too, he couldn’t go worrying them.

Felix was also starting to keep a closer eye on his socials. Before, as a small scale YouTuber, he’d been happy to receive a few comments on his videos and he responded to all of them, excited at the engagement. Nowadays, however, he’d gained millions of new followers not only on YouTube but on Instagram and TikTok as well. There were so many comments – both good and bad – thrown in his way on the different platforms that initially Felix had tried to distance himself, feeling overwhelmed. But since Doek-su stressed to him how important their image was, Felix started paying closer attention.

When it came to his fans – and God, that felt wrong to say, he was just a normal omega trying to survive; he didn’t deserve fans of any kind – those that had watched his channel from before his plunge into fame, they seemed to be happy for him, especially knowing where he had started his journey. Some asked after his mom, wondering whether she was going to stop making appearances in his videos. Those comments always made him self-conscious. He really didn’t want her to stop. He promised himself he was going to include her in a couple of vlogs around his wedding and then maybe his birthday and every other occasion they manged to see each other for. He missed her so much already. He missed his whole family. 

There were also fans that said mean things, that said he was probably going to change now. Found a rich sugar daddy and became a nepo baby. Figures . Felix cried at that particular comment and saved a screenshot of it on his desktop. He vowed to show the world he was the same Felix that had started the channel four years ago. He vowed also to not let himself change, just because of the position of opportunity he had been lucky enough to obtain.

In his exploration of the internet and all possible tags pointing at him, Felix stumbled into an… interesting TikTok edit of his bodyguard. The omega watched it simply out of curiosity since it ended up on his recommendation page. It was just some paparazzi footage and fan-made phone videos of Felix outside of the house – for the three occasions so far in which he had gotten mobbed – and Chan protecting him. Felix was out of the shot or hidden behind Chan’s arms and jacket for the majority of the edit, the focus falling on his bodyguard. The alpha was giving the cameras and everyone around them a hard, cold stare while pressing Felix close and leading him around or opening doors for him. There was suggestive music in the background and Felix watched the edit just about ten times before he realised the footage was looping. He blinked. The caption said Hottest bodyguard in whole of Korea . Felix cleared his throat and scrolled down. He was glad there at least weren’t any thirst traps existing of him out there! Small miracles.

—

The wedding was upcoming and being planned in the background without the need for Felix’ input. On the one hand, he was still not a fan of that, wanting to have a say in what his special day was going to look like. But on the other hand, it took some work and worries off his shoulders, and he was already feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, both physically and emotionally. 

Felix had lunch with Doek-su for once – usually they dined together in the evening – and Felix made to leave after what was quite an uneventful and quiet meal, but Doek-su called after him. “Oh, by the way, the guest list has grown a bit. A little below three hundred guests, but I’m thinking of inviting a few more to make that a round number.” Felix gave a dry chuckle to match his fiance.

“Who are all these people?” he asked on impulse as Doek-su threw his used napkin on top of his plate.

“Ah, you don’t know them, baby. But important players, let’s put it that way.” Right. Felix wasn’t going to know 99% of the people in attendance at his own wedding. That didn’t sound too nice. It reminded him of his family.

“On that topic, should I talk to the maids to prepare a few beds for my family? Or have you already done that?” Felix asked as his fiance got up from the chair and approached him.

“I’ve booked them a nice hotel suite actually,” Doek-su said and Felix frowned. “We don’t want to have more people than necessary running around the house.”

“Why not? The house is big enough,” Felix bit back impulsively and Doek-su raised an eyebrow, a smile forming on his lips. Felix stepped back and added, “They’re my family. I want them staying here with me.”

“Is this your house?” his fiance asked and Felix felt like he was being baited. He raised his chin and didn’t back down.

“It’s going to be in less than two weeks.” Doek-su chuckled at that and moved closer, his scent spiking in a way Felix took too long to process.

“You’re even more sexy when you try to be defiant, beautiful.” Felix took a step back but his fiance grabbed his arm and chin before he moved away and brought their lips into a kiss. Felix allowed it for a few seconds but then Doek-su pressed his hard-on against his stomach and he felt a twinge of panic run down his back. He pushed at Doek-su’s chest, a little alarmed, and the man released his mouth. “Don’t get too defiant now," he hissed and grabbed his arm tighter. Felix whimpered instinctively, his eyes straying to the side where he could see Seungmin enter the room to clear out the table. "God, I can’t wait to fuck you, Felix. Just a few more days, huh? Can’t wait to knot you." He was kissing Felix’ neck, alpha pheromones filling his nostrils and almost making him gag. 

Felix froze and started shaking his head. "I won’t be in heat," he whispered, trying to keep whatever semblance of privacy and humility they still had in front of the staff, and Doek-su chuckled. He took in a deep breath at his neck, scenting him. It was the first time his fiance had scented him and Felix hadn’t imagined it happening that way. Scenting was intimate, scenting meant trust and familiarity and some sort of a claim. Well, Doek-su was trying to be plenty intimate and claiming.

"You smell so good, baby." He reeked of panic and fear so Felix worried about this marriage if his fiance got off on that kind of scent. "And you're so innocent. I like that. Your cunt can get knotted outside of heat, too." Felix shook his head harder, fighting back tears. He knew that. He was inexperienced, not stupid. But he also knew it involved a lot of pain if the partner wasn’t gentle and Felix wasn’t counting on that happening. He didn’t want his first time to be a horror story. 

"Please no. Not the first night, please," he begged. Doek-su gathered him in his arms and Felix held onto him out of self-preservation. His fiance led him out of the room, pressing their bodies close and placing kisses on Felix’ neck. 

“You beg so nicely, beautiful. I don’t know if I can wait until the wedding night when you’re so tempting." Felix bit his lip to stop himself from crying and tempting the man further. His fiance stopped what he was doing to more effectively navigate the space towards a bedroom and Felix looked for a possible exit desperately. “Look at you, so tiny. So pretty.” He was scenting Felix again and Felix looked away to the side, just as they passed by the living room. Chan and Doek-su’s bodyguard were there, looking serious, and Felix found his excuse. Felix cleared his throat, trying to get whatever bravery was left in him to speak and push at Doek-su’s chest. 

"I will be late for my etiquette lesson, Chan’s already waiting." He tried to say it with as much authority as possible. Doek-su lifted his head and opened his mouth to say something back, but his phone cut him off. He sighed and Felix closed his eyes briefly in relief when the man let go of him. 

He rushed out of the room, Chan following his steps effortlessly. Felix tried to get his breathing under control and kept his teary eyes ahead, too embarrassed to catch his bodyguard’s gaze and greet him like he usually would. He hoped the embarrassment at being caught literally carried to bed was overpowering the fear in his scent. He didn’t need the whole staff talking about him and his already failing relationship. 

Felix’ steps faltered as he entered the hallway leading to the outside and he realised that he’d lied. His etiquette class wasn’t starting for another hour and a half. He put conscious effort into not glancing to the side at Chan, who walked quietly behind him. The alpha had access to his agenda, he must have known Felix lied. Was he going to tattle? Felix tried to keep his breathing under control and by the time they exited the mansion, his eyes had dried up. Maybe he could ask Chan to call Changbin and say something had come up? Maybe he really needed… painkillers. Yes.

He stopped in place on the top of the stairs, blinking with surprise at Changbin, leaning against his car and waiting for them in front. The engine was running. “안녕,” the man greeted with his ever-present smile and Felix gave him a small smile back as he started descending the stairs. He glanced at Chan with confusion and the man grinned at him.

“We don’t want you to be late for that important etiquette lesson, right sir?” He winked and Felix found himself giving him a sincere grin, his chest expanding with relief and warmth. It was perhaps the first time since he’d started living here that he felt like he had someone in his corner. He scented the air, taking in the familiar fresh ocean smell and walked up to the car, his shadow right by him.

After that… happenstance, for lack of better words, Felix didn’t see Doek-su for a couple of days, successfully avoiding him by claiming extreme headaches. He knew that wasn’t the proper and adult way to deal with things but he frankly felt too scared to enter the man’s field of view in case he decided to become tempted again. Felix was aware sex was part of life and marriage and he wasn’t a prude per say, he planned on having sex at some point! He was a young man with needs and desires too, he wanted to have sex! 

However, what had gone on in the dining room had been too much. Felix needed some time getting slowly used to being sexual with Doek-su, who was still a virtual stranger, and the man’s complete disregard of his pleas and obvious anxiety were concerning. Felix was also still finding it hard to find his husband arousing and while that was a much smaller problem in comparison to the other, it did contribute to his hesitancy for sex.

They had to talk but Felix was trying to postpone it as much as possible, not sure how to even breach the topic and describe his problem to an obviously experienced alpha. Given his successful avoidance of Doek-su at home, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to have his fiance enter the meeting room he was in with a few of the R&D division managers at the company.

“Felix!” Doek-su exclaimed and Felix blinked, grabbing onto the handrests of his chair. Everyone in the room got up to bow a little but their boss didn’t glance at them, eyes on Felix. “Felix, beautiful. I just wanted to drop by and give you a little something.” There was a box of chocolates being handed to him and Felix took them automatically. Doek-su leaned in and captured his lips and Felix returned the kiss, glad that it was over quickly. “Your mom says they’re your favourites,” he said with a wink and Felix glanced down, realising it was a selection of Lindt chocolates. Had his fiance called his mother to ask?

“I – thank you,” he breathed out. Doek-su brushed a hand over his cheek and leaned in again for a quick peck.

“Don’t work too hard.” He leaned into Felix’ neck to scent him and Felix flushed, realising there was an audience of five attentively watching. “I left another gift for you in your room,” Doek-su whispered into his ear. “You should put it on below the wedding suit. I’ll unwrap you like my own little present.” Felix shuddered as their gazes met. His fiance was looking at him with hungry eyes and a predatory grin, looking much like an alpha on the prowl. Then they were kissing again before Doek-su pulled away and took a look at his watch. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you at dinner.”

He walked out of the room with a few brief nods at the rest in attendance and Felix was left alone to face the employees. “Ah, he’s the perfect man. You’re a lucky omega, sir!” an omega woman said and the beta sitting on her right tried to hit her discreetly under the table. Felix smiled at her with a nod.

“Let’s get back into it, shall we?” 

They did but Felix’ mind was on the chocolates. It was an apology, he supposed. Doek-su had consulted his mother on what he liked. Felix bit his lip as he stared at the box. He wanted to hold onto that as a source of hope for their relationship. At the same time – Doek-su had probably bought him lingerie… Felix’ fear of their first night together only grew. He wasn’t sure if he was capable of fostering any hope.

—

Felix’ wedding suit was already chosen for him by Doek-su, so he just needed to try it on a couple of days before the wedding in case there was a need for any modifications. The tailor was a world famous wedding fashion designer and his fiance didn’t stop repeating that fact. Felix put on the suit and stood on the small podium in the room, looking at himself in the mirror. The designer came close with a few pins, touching his sleeves.

Felix stared at his reflection. He was accompanied by his fiance and Chan was standing by the door a few feet away but… His lip wobbled. His sisters and parents should have been there for that moment. Should have helped him choose the best suit and cried with him when he found the one. He felt like crying for a different reason. He was alone. Felix looked up towards the ceiling, trying not to let his tears damage the expensive fabric. 

“Exquisite. Just like I imagined it,” Doek-su said as he came closer and circled him. Felix felt like he was watched by a vulture flying overhead. He wasn’t even sure he liked the cut of the suit that much, but he couldn’t argue against it. Doek-su was grinning and showering him with compliments and his mind was set. Felix didn’t want to have another argument, their relations were rocky as they were. 

Doek-su left before the tailor was done putting pins in his suit, some important meeting to attend needing his attention more, and Felix didn’t really care. He wanted to try and spend time with his fiance and try and forge a bond and try and get to a place where he’d be happy spending his life in Seoul with him. But he also had limits. He was feeling sad, his moping scent all over the place, and what he needed now was his family, not his fiance. Felix took a picture of his reflection in the mirror and sent it in the group chat with his family.

He got some compliments and excitement from their side too and that made him smile. He sniffled, tears filling his eyes again against his will. A napkin entered his vision and he looked up to see Chan standing next to him. Felix thanked him with a small tense smile.

The car ride was mostly silent, with Changbin and Chan’s quiet chatting picking up a few times. And then Chan turned to him. “So, sir, since your schedule is empty for the rest of the day…” Chan drawled and raised an eyebrow. Felix blinked and looked outside of the car window. They were almost at the mansion! But what about his Korean lesson – Felix looked back at Chan and had to smile a bit at the knowing dimpled grin that was waiting for him. “I was wondering if you’d like to join us in the kitchens. Jeongin’s told me they’re making a tiramisu right now and I’m a sucker for the cream. Oh, and Jisung’s English is pretty good.”

Felix only had to think about it for a split second. “Sure, why not?” He could have spent the time more productively, working on his thesis, but he felt like he deserved a break.

The moment they entered the kitchen, Chan came to stand in front of Felix and he would have laughed at how ridiculous it was of the man to protect him inside the house if not for the open fire on the stove. There were panicked yells from all around the room, Chan joining in, asking them what was going on – and Felix felt very proud of himself for getting that even though he detested the Korean lessons.

“Wait, tiramisu doesn’t need the stove,” Felix said with narrowed eyes while Jeongin put off the fire with the fire extinguisher. An unfamiliar face turned to look at him with a sheepish grin. 

“I thought I could make myself an omelet meanwhile. Cooking makes me hungry,” the man explained and Felix’ nose twitched, a small smile appearing on his face. Another omega!

“This is Jisung,” Chan introduced and reached out to ruffle the man’s hair before grabbing Seungmin’s hand to put it under water. Felix caught a glimpse of a forming blister and looked away, facing Jisung again.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” he said with a small bow and Jisung grinned mirroring him.

“Hi! I’ve wanted to introduce myself but it’s very busy in the kitchen.” He didn’t call him “sir” like Chan and Changbin did which Felix immediately liked.

“That’s because he doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Chan called out and Felix’s eyes widened at the mocking tone. Jisung gasped and hurried over to Chan.

“I have the position of chef, don’t I? That means I know enough! And do you know how to make tiramisu, huh? Do you know how to make bulgogi kimbab, huh?” Jisung was very loud but he didn’t sound angry and his scent didn’t change. Chan blinked once slowly, his eyebrows and chin raised, looking at Jisung down his nose. Felix cleared his throat and looked away, flustered. Jisung himself closed his mouth finally and swallowed. “I’m sure you do, hyung!”

“Aha,” the bodyguard drawled. There was amusement coming off Jeongin and he said something in Korean before Chan rolled his eyes and looked at Felix. “Sorry, sir, if we’ve made you uncomfortable. We’ve know each other for a while.” Felix nodded with a shy smile.

“Have you made tiramisu before?” Jisung asked him then and Felix shook his head.

“I like to bake, though.”

“Oh, well that’s great! You have to join me sometimes. I think next week we’ll be making brownies and carrot cake.” Jisung was a chatter box and Felix found that he liked that as well.

He got to speak some with Jeongin, too, although the alpha kept glancing at Jisung and Chan for help more often than not. Seungmin left soon after their arrival, but Felix spent the better part of two hours sitting at the kitchen counter and discussing cultural and food differences with the other three, and exchanging movie recommendations. In the end he left with another part of his schedule blocked off for brownie baking after his honeymoon and he found himself really looking forward to it.

Chapter Text

Felix did attend the Korean lesson that was scheduled the day before his wedding since Doek-su gave him that disappointed look and sigh that tugged on Felix’ omega instincts. It felt weird to be acting so normal when his family was going to fly in just that afternoon and the next day he was going to be married. But responsibilities never ended, he supposed.

Just like all previous lessons, he fled the room with tears in his eyes and clenched fists ten minutes before the official end of the session. He was just done. He wasn’t going to try anymore. He didn’t care how disappointed or even mad Doek-su was going to be. He didn’t want anything to do with that wretched woman or the awful language! Well… That wasn’t fair, Felix had nothing against Korean, his parents were Korean too, for God’s sake. He was just affected in the moment. Technically – no. Just no. He was done. That was it. He’d gone by well enough with English in the past month, he could continue doing that for the rest of his life too.

Changbin drove them to the little corner cat cafe Felix had taken a liking to close to the dancing studio and the three of them sat down on a table in the back. Felix took out his laptop to work on his thesis, while the other two chatted quietly. At some point Changbin got up and said something in Korean before leaving. Felix’ brows furrowed and he looked at Chan in expectation. Chan just shook his head.

“Just going to the toilet,” he explained and Felix nodded, looking back down at his screen. “I know it’s none of my business, sir, but I was wondering… Why do you not want to learn Korean? Maybe with another teacher?”

Felix looked at Chan’s eyes and opened his mouth but then closed it. He didn’t even know how to explain it. It wasn’t just the fact that the teacher was mean to him. She was mean, yes, but he didn’t really give her much choice with his lack of attention and motivation and effort in her class. He knew he could do a lot more, he wasn’t stupid, he just… Didn’t want to. There was a mental block that just didn’t let him do more. And now that he was actually thinking about it instead of brushing it off as the teacher’s fault, he realised what the block was. 

If he also started talking and thinking in this new foreign language, on top of dressing in a new way, acting in a new way, living in a new place, doing new things, it would be as though he had completely lost. He'd given up. Doek-su would have won, taken away everything from him; from his makeup to his family and even his speech. Felix had nothing against Korean. Hell, he’d used to enjoy hearing his parents occasionally speak Korean between each other, and he already came in knowing some words because of them. He would have probably loved to learn it in any other context but now when it was forced on him as a necessity to fit in a place he didn’t want to, it just felt like yet another decision that was taken out of his hands. 

In the end, he had nothing to say to Chan, so he just looked at him with a small smile. “It's complicated.” 

“I don't mind helping, if you want me to. If the teacher is the problem.” Felix huffed at that.

“And you’re better than the best teacher in Korea?” he asked teasingly and Chan puffed his chest with a nonchalant shrug. An alpha through and through. Felix rolled his eyes fondly and then Changbin was back.

As he waited for his family to arrive at the airport a few hours later, he went through his newest insight over and over, wondering what to do. It was obvious to him, now that he was being completely honest with himself, that he wasn’t happy and most probably wasn’t going to be happy in Seoul with Doek-su. From the very beginning he had felt like a prisoner that was stripped away of more and more freedoms with every passing day. That feeling wasn’t going away and was instead intensifying to the point of him boycotting learning a language he otherwise would have. He needed to talk to his parents. He needed to break off the engagement before the wedding, before they were tied even more.

The moment he saw his family in the crowd, Olivia pulling at Rachel’s hand so the two could run towards him, Felix forgot about all his worries and smiled wide. The girls wrapped around him and almost knocked the air out of his lungs, but he didn’t mind. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed the two beasts. He had also missed affectionate physical contact, he found out, not holding back a whine at how good it felt to be wrapped in his sisters’ arms and scents. He was the only omega of the three, now that Olivia turned out to be a beta, and they sometimes teased his frequent need for touch, but for once he felt like his sisters also wanted to hold on and not let go.

“Oh my God, Felix, I’ve missed you so much!”

“Everyone’s missed you! Grandma is sad she can’t come in person, but she said she’s expecting a video call from you! She wants to see you in your wedding suit.”

“Is this new? Looks nice on you!”

“Where’s Doek-su?” 

Felix laughed, feeling overwhelmed with all the questions. Before he could open his mouth to answer, his mother was pulling his face closer to kiss both of his cheeks. “Ah, Felix! My baby. You look stunning, dear!”

They decided to sit down for a coffee at the cafe opposite the street, for his family to wind down before going towards the house. Chan escorted them there and stayed standing a few feet to the side, seeming a bit on edge, snapping something into his earpiece a few times. Felix gave him a questioning look but Chan only returned a smile with a small head shake. 

It felt good to be surrounded by family again, to speak English freely, and to take a break from his otherwise busy schedule. They chatted about Felix’ lessons and his future work at Choi Inc.’s fundraiser, and he desperately kept trying to switch the topic onto updates from their lives. He didn’t want to speak of things that were soon going to be irrelevant. He wanted to tell them he wished to go home. But he was going to break it to them one at a time, starting with his father. The moment they were back at the mansion and had some privacy, Felix was going to do that!

Olivia dragged him to the display of sweets, bonbons and chocolates. “I want one of each!” she announced, pointing at the chocolates, and Felix rolled his eyes but complied, getting five of each. He had money to spare after all. For now. 

He tried a few himself while his mother talked about his grandmother’s condition. Felix always ached when he heard how she sometimes even forgot she had a daughter, or relived through the pain of losing her only son again and again. Then the topic changed to something lighter and Felix listened to Olivia complain about her high school teachers. 

“Oh!” he exclaimed as he chewed on his sixth chocolate bonbon – he had to stop eating soon, but they were just so good – and turned to look for Chan. The man faced him immediately and tilted his head in confusion. “This one is with coffee and it’s really good!” When Doek-su bought him the box of chocolates that one time, Felix shared it with Changbin and Chan, and Chan had been the one to eat all three that were coffee-flavoured. “Take one!”

Chan’s eyes briefly flickered to the rest of his family before he reached out and took the one Felix was pointing at. “Thank you, sir.” Felix grinned.

Of course, since Felix felt actually at peace and happy for an hour, something had to go wrong. The street was starting to collect a crowd but Felix didn’t think much of it, given that they were by the airport. Chan left their side at some point, to speak to one of the baristas and Felix tracked him from the corner of his eye while trying to still pay attention to his family. He saw the crowd become bigger and realised what was going on. He pursed his lips and watched as the manager of the place went outside to ask people to spread out. His eyes met Chan’s and the man gave him a tight smile.

“Are all these people here for you?” Rachel asked suddenly and Felix licked his lips as his whole family turned around to look.

“Yeah…”

“Wow, you’re a real celebrity now! How cool is that?” Olivia exclaimed and he chuckled nervously. Not that cool actually. 

The people weren’t leaving, and there were quite a lot of cameras pointed their way. Felix noticed his mother’s discomfort, touching her headband. His father immediately placed an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer. Felix himself was getting really worried but tried to keep it out of his scent, not wanting to make them anxious as well. His few but enough experiences in such a crowd hadn’t been pleasant and he was scared they were going to get spooked even harder than him. The last thing his sick mother or young sisters needed was to be mobbed.

“Sir, I think it’s best we get you out,” Chan said as he leaned lower to speak quietly. Felix licked his lips, glancing around nervously. There was only one Chan. He couldn’t protect five people at once. 

“But – my family –”

“I won’t let anything happen to them either, alright? I’ll bring you out and come back for them.” Felix bit his lip, gripping the handrests. That would mean leaving them all behind here while he was brought to the car. He shouldn’t have allowed them to come to the cafe at all. They could have recuperated at the house – “Felix, I’m here to protect you and your family. I won’t let anyone harm them. Do you trust me?” That was a big question. Felix didn’t trust anyone in Seoul. He was alone, isolated and miserable, and it was unfair of Chan to ask him that! Then again, the bodyguard had done nothing to show he didn’t deserve said trust. Felix met his eyes and stared for what felt like a long time. Chan gave him a small smile and Felix nodded slowly. Chan nodded back and turned to his family as Felix stood up. “Please stay in here for a minute. I’ll be right back to take you out, alright?”

He wrapped an arm around Felix’ back and kept him close to his body as he forced a way for them through the crowd. It was loud and it was scary and it was overwhelming but Felix glued himself to his bodyguard and breathed in his scent and tried to stay grounded. He was gently pushed into the car, the door slamming shut behind him immediately. “So busy, huh?” Changbin said from the driver’s seat and Felix could only nod. 

One by one, his whole family entered the car – one of Doek-su’s limos, to accommodate them all – and Felix finally breathed easily. “Well, that was an experience,” his father said as Chan closed the door behind him. 

“I would’ve lived without going through it,” his mom piped in, looking pale and Felix reached out to grab her hand.

“God, I hope I’ll be this famous one day!” Olivia said and Rachel slapped her shoulder. “What?”

“Try to be sympathetic for once!” Olivia rolled her eyes and said something but Felix had already turned to Chan, who took a seat next to him. He wrapped his arms around the man’s torso, taking him – and himself – by surprise.

“Thank you so much,” he said quietly, feeling emotional. He withdrew and took in Chan’s flustered face. The man scratched his head and grinned shyly.

“Yeah, I mean that’s my job. Sir.” Felix thought then that maybe he was going to miss Chan once he went back to Australia.

—

While his sisters explored the mansion and his mom fretted over what kind of clothes she could put on while walking around such a “palace,” Felix asked his dad to join him in his room for a quick talk. The moment he closed the door behind himself, his dad started talking.

“Actually, can I start? I think this is most important and you’ll surely agree.” Felix frowned and nodded. His dad sighed and sat down on his bed. “Your mom needs surgery, Felix.” Felix’ mouth opened and he reached out for his desk chair to pull out and sit down. “They want to remove part of the tumor, it’s too big. She didn’t want to tell you now before the wedding, was going to wait until after your honeymoon, that stubborn omega. But it’s time sensitive and it can’t wait. Felix… The surgery is expensive, really expensive. Especially now in this new fancy hospital. We… Could you ask your alpha to foot the bills?” His dad was obviously uncomfortable asking for help, a proud alpha needing another alpha’s money to take care of his omega. Felix watched him squirm and thought back on his mother’s pale face earlier.

“Yeah,” was out of his mouth before he could think about it. His dad was next to him, hugging him in the next second and Felix’ mind raced. He didn’t know what needed his brain’s attention more: his mother’s worsening condition or the fact that asking favours of Doek-su meant staying with him.

“Thank you. Thank you, son. I know it should be us that take care of you, not the other way around, we’ve failed you.” Felix stood up to properly embrace his father back. The man was hiding his face, chin on his shoulder, but Felix could tell he was on the verge of crying. “I’m so glad you’ve found yourself such an amazing man and such an amazing life. This is all we’ve ever wanted for you. You won’t fail your children. They’ll never want for anything.”

“Dad,” Felix started, throat feeling blocked by a lump. He had to say something. He had to talk to him about it – had to at least ask for advice. “Actually, uh, I–”

“Felix, don’t screw this up, okay?” His dad pulled away and grabbed his face in his hands, looking at him with the stern expression Felix remembered from his childhood whenever he would get his sisters in trouble. Felix gulped. “I know you sometimes tend to get argumentative and die on hills unnecessarily but – play your cards right, okay? You will live on top of the world with this man. Hell, we’ll live on top of the world alongside you. Your children’s children will live on top of the world. You are set for life. You have it all now, so don’t screw it up, you hear me?”

Felix stared back at him, brain shutting off. He nodded weakly and a few tears slid down his cheeks. He whined and pulled his face away to bury it in his father’s chest, seeking any comfort he could get from the alpha. His dad shushed him and petted his hair, holding him close.

“I’m so proud of you, Felix.” Felix whined again and took his complaints and problems with Doek-su and shoved them to the back of his head. His family needed him, needed what his fiance could provide. And his father was right: when he had children in the future, they’d have anything they wanted. He had to think in broader terms, he couldn’t be selfish. Doek-su wasn’t that bad in any case, he’d surprised him with chocolates and pampered him with gifts and had apologised for his mother’s behaviour. Yes, he had some quirks but who didn’t? Felix had to learn to live with them. He let out a shaky breath and hoped he would be able to do that.

He’d planned on talking to his mother next but decided against it. He turned in early but found that he couldn’t sleep. So, at 11pm, he put on a jacket and went out to take a short walk around the house, trying to empty his mind.

“Is everything alright, sir?” Felix stopped and turned around to squint in the dark. Chan was walking up to him, dressed in the usual cargo pants and a comfy-looking sweatshirt. Felix couldn’t help but chuckle without humour. He shook his head, tears already pooling in his eyes just at the thought of everything . Nothing was okay. He was going to remain a prisoner in his gilded cage. He just wanted to feel good for once, damn it. Chan was stepping closer, a frown on his face, alpha pheromones all over. Felix scented the air and sighed.

“Do you think Jisung is still up?” he asked instead of answering and Chan raised an eyebrow. 

“I know where the baking supplies are, if he isn’t,” the man replied with a side smile and Felix grinned, something unfurling in his chest at how kind and caring Chan appeared to be, remembering such insignificant details about Felix and his hobbies. 

“What do you think about brownies?” 

Felix stayed up until 2am working on the brownies, a yawning Jisung stumbling into the room just thirty minutes after they arrived at the kitchens, soon followed by Seungmin and Jeongin. Seungmin went straight to Chan who was mostly playing with the flour and not helping, complaining loudly in Korean. Felix had the sinking suspicion they’d been rudely awakened by a certain bodyguard of his but he pretended he didn’t notice. He desperately needed the company and distraction – and they were already awake now anyway! The brownies turned out great and Felix saved a few for his family, giving the rest to the others to share with the staff.

He woke up feeling like a zombie, more tired than he’d felt in a long time, and yet with a full agenda culminating in his own wedding. It was still early morning but the cosmeticians that were going to get his nails, skin, hair and makeup ready were coming soon, so he didn’t have the luxury to laze around.

That was how Felix found himself sitting on the couch in the leisure room next to his sisters, all three of them getting manicures and pedicures by a few silent women. 

“So, how’s Doek-su?” Olivia asked with a sly grin. “Is he as cool behind closed doors?”

“Olivia!” Rachel snapped. “You don’t ask people this kind of stuff.”

“What? He’s been a literal angel to us, and all I can see online is how amazing and charitable and progressive he is. I was just wondering if he’s the same privately too.” And she had a point to wonder. He – well, Felix couldn’t deny he was charitable. And he did employ both sub-genders, he did make Felix the head of his fundraiser and even wanted him to be on the board of directors, so he was obviously progressive. Amazing? That depended on the point of view, of course.

“He is,” Felix said after a while when they both stared at him. Why did it feel like lying when he’d just confirmed in his head that the man did indeed possess these features?

“Why’s he not here then?” Rachel asked suddenly and Olivia hissed at her mockingly.

“Rachel, you can’t ask people that!”

“No, for real. I was expecting him to at least say hi. I haven’t seen him around the house at all since we arrived.”

“It’s a big house,” Felix said with a weak chuckle. He didn’t know where his fiance was, but this wasn’t uncommon. Sometimes Doek-su was actually in the house, just within his own private quarters, and even had meals there and their paths didn’t cross for a couple of days straight. He really was a workaholic, Felix supposed. He didn’t want to disappoint his sisters, however, and have them dislike his future husband so he quickly continued, “He’s a bit nervous about the wedding. And he’s following the tradition of not seeing his husband the day before and of the wedding before the ceremony.” Rachel narrowed her eyes and he immediately changed the subject. “Oh, by the way, I’ve found a dancing studio, did I tell you? I’ve went a few times now. There’s a couple of guys there and they join me dancing. They’re really nice actually, even though talking is a bit of a struggle. We mostly have to go through Chan. But I like them.”

“Why not do the Korean lessons though?” Rachel asked and Olivia giggled.

“Do you regret not learning it when mom offered to teach us?” She laughed as if she hadn’t turned down the lessons as well! All three of them had in fact.

“I have too much going on right now, but I’ll learn it one day.” He’d probably have to, he was going to spend the rest of his life in Korea, after all. Yes, he’d made do without it for now but it was definitely stunting him, so Felix knew he’d have to pick it up again in the future. He just hoped it would happen on his terms. Whenever he felt ready to do it. “Chan is helpful enough for now.”

“Ah, yes Chan,” Olivia drawled and exchanged a glance with Rachel. Rachel was getting red in the face and Felix raised an eyebrow. “He’s one fine piece of meat, don’t you agree, Rachel?” 

“Maybe! I say something once and you just won’t drop it, will you?”

“You liked his ass!” 

“It’s not like it’s a crime to notice someone is pretty, Olivia! Felix is getting married and he can still tell the guy’s a catch. Right, Felix?”

Felix felt himself blush, too. Chan was definitely a catch. He was beautiful and Felix had noticed it from the very beginning. The full lips and the deep dimples and the charming laughter lines that popped up when he smiled gave him a softness that Felix sometimes found himself thinking about late at night when he was lonely. He was also very much alpha, muscular and assertive and always on top of things, giving Felix some comfort and safety in what was turning out to be a not so friendly world. And Rachel had a point, his ass was very nice on the eyes.

It was stupid but he wondered suddenly if anything could have happened between them had he not been already betrothed, if they’d met in Sydney. Felix quickly put a stop on that train of thought. His state of mind was quickly deteriorating, if he was already imagining being swept off his feet by just about any other man but his future husband. That way of thinking wasn’t going to get him far. He was going to be married to Doek-su by the end of the day and he had to at least try to like his husband.

—

The wedding was as overwhelming and terrifying as Felix had expected it to be.

There were so many people that even the gigantic palace Doek-su had rented felt crowded. So many unfamiliar faces and phrases in Korean directed at him. So many pats on the back by strangers, so many smells mixing around him, choking him up. His now husband dragged him around to introduce him to people, hand in Felix’ the whole time. It felt like a blur to Felix, like he was watching his body from the outside.

He tried to look at the positives, in an attempt to stay grounded. His family was there and having the time of their lives. And Doek-su… Doek-su was grinning happily, looking more satisfied and at ease than Felix had ever seen him, preening every time someone complimented Felix, kissing his lips passionately. He was glued to Felix’ side for the whole duration of the event, looking at him with admiration and hunger, and squeezing his hand whenever he felt Felix’ scent spike with anxiety. He talked to Felix’ family, he pulled Felix close for a slow dance, he seemed like the amazing person the media portrayed him to be. 

Felix let that calm his fast beating heart. His husband had been busy the past few days but he was paying attention to him now, he was present now when it mattered. He didn’t leave Felix to the wolves, he made sure Felix knew all of their guests – as much as he could know them from one conversation – and he gave him physical soothing touch. Felix took a sip from his champagne as he watched Doek-su speak to a colleague in Korean. Maybe they – he could make this work?

Yes, he could! Of course he could! He’d gone above and beyond, was getting married to a man that would secure an ideal future for him, his family and his future children. For their sake he was going to make it work.

Doek-su caught his eye while his colleague talked and looked him up and down, giving him a wink. The moment they left that particular guest and started walking towards their table, his now-husband leaned in to whisper into his ear. “You look delicious, beautiful. Can’t wait to make you scream later.” Just like that, Felix’ positive attitude broke apart. He realised suddenly, and wondered how he’d ever forgotten, that by the end of the night he would no longer be a virgin. He swallowed down his worry and tried to give his husband a smile. “I’ll fuck you silly, you’ll see. I’m half tempted to grab you and run to bed already.” There was a hand on his ass and Felix’ smile froze.

“Let us at least enjoy some food first,” Felix said nervously as he took a seat. He didn’t eat much, however, his stomach in knots. He did drink, though. Felix asked for a refill on his wine glass a bit more often than he was comfortable admitting. He could feel himself getting tipsy but that was good. That was the goal.

“Felix,” Doek-su whispered and pulled on his arm. “You should stop drinking. Don’t make people think you’re an alcoholic.” Right, he had to think about the image of the company now. Felix nodded numbly and looked around, trying to find his sisters in the crowd.

“I think I’ll dance for a bit,” he said back and Doek-su nodded, placing a kiss on his lips. Felix walked up to the dance floor, surrounded by tables of snacks and glasses of wine. He looked around discreetly and downed one before catching Rachel’s elbow. They danced and laughed and tried to fix Olivia’s dress from the spilled juice. Felix sneaked a few more glasses in between that and was starting to really feel it hit.

He left them to their dinner at some point and leaned against one of the pillars, trying to hide from view as much as possible, sneakily grasping another wine glass from the high table next to him. He knew it wasn’t wise for him to continue with the alcohol – there was the possibility of him blacking out and, oh no, they’d have to postpone the bedding. What a shame that’d be! Felix downed the wine in one go.

“Maybe you want to tone it down a bit? Sir.” Chan walked up to him with an eyebrow raised. He seemed amused, and he was dressed in a suit too. It fit perfectly over his broad chest. Just like the leather straps that poked from under the jacket. He was carrying a gun. Felix swayed on his feet and shook his head.

“No one can tell me what to do!” Except his husband, apparently…

“Of course not, sir. I just – one would have thought you’d want to remember your wedding night,” Chan said with a chuckle and Felix snorted. 

“As if anyone wants to remember getting raped.” Chan blinked and straightened, shoulders squaring, the easy smile gone and replaced by narrowed eyes. Felix looked at the empty glass in his hand and put it away. Perhaps drinking more was not a good idea, after all. He decided to stop before he went and told his husband he’d rather fuck a cactus than his shriveled dick. Felix blinked, surprised at that thought, and looked back at Chan who he had forgotten was there for a second. The alpha’s scent was changing, it felt a lot more angry and dangerous than before, and Felix’ mouth just ran off. “That was – I don't know why I said that, it's not rape.” He forced a laugh. “I'm just nervous, first time and all…" 

Felix nodded once at Chan and pushed himself off from the pillar, to walk away. He wobbled in place and Chan reached out in case he had to grab him, but didn’t touch him. He was blocking Felix’ way and Felix cowered, looking down and avoiding the alpha’s eyes. “Are you here against your will?” the bodyguard asked in a low voice and Felix looked around, searching for someone that could give him a way out. His eyes met those of a guest and he realised suddenly where he was. At his wedding day. At the celebration. Throwing claims around and speaking to an unmated alpha. While surrounded by hundreds of people who could overhear, a lot of which on his husband's payroll – including said unmated alpha. 

"As I said, the nerves are talking. Hah, and the wine. You were right, I should stop drinking. Now if you'd exc –" Chan grabbed his arm before he left and Felix looked down at the place they touched. Chan was really warm. And his hands were so much bigger than Felix’. He was Felix' height and yet his… everything felt so much larger. Chan misunderstood his look and released his hold. 

"I’m sorry. But listen, Felix, if you want, I can stay by the door tonight. If you yell for me–"

"You're hired by my husband, you know that, right?" 

"Yes. To protect you." 

They held eye contact for a long time and Felix felt his head spin. He shook it and that made it only a little worse. "No. I don’t want you to be there." The last thing he needed was Chan hearing his husband deflower him. Chan was Felix' shadow, and he didn’t want to have to spend every day of his life being looked at in pity. Chan was also becoming something of a friend, someone he felt normal around, and he didn’t want to lose that. Chan opened his mouth and Felix interrupted quickly. "There is nothing going on, I'm just drunker than I thought. Drop it, Chan." The man grit his teeth, his scent not letting off, but he nodded and stepped back.

Felix went back to spending time with his family and stopped with the alcohol. He hoped their familiarity and easy chatter was going to calm him down for the upcoming events. Said events came earlier than he’d hoped. Doek-su rushed in suddenly and grabbed him around the middle, throwing him over his shoulder. “I’m very sorry but I’ll have to steal your beautiful companion,” he said to Felix’ family. His mother clapped with a grin and his sisters gave him winks as Felix hung with his head down. Someone must have come over with the microphone because Doek-su’s voice echoed in the ballroom next, “My lovely husband and I will be retiring for the evening. Please feel free to stay here, and drink and dance as much as you wish!” He spoke in Korean as well, most probably repeating himself.

There were whistles and cat calls, there were cheers and claps, and Felix’ face was burning. That was a weird reaction to send off the wedding couple that were obviously about to have sex, Felix thought as his husband carried him to their room. They had the actual King’s bedroom in the palace, with a few guards lined up by the door, and Felix felt like going to Iceland or New Zealand for the wedding would have been cheaper and less extravagant after all.

Doek-su placed him down when they entered the room and Felix had no time to look around as his husband captured his lips into a kiss. The alpha was clearly aroused, the air full of his pheromones, and Felix whined lowly in his throat. Doek-su growled back and pulled him closer, gluing them to each other. He kissed back as his husband started dragging him towards the bed. The moment his knees hit the mattress and he was pushed down to sit, Felix broke the kiss and placed a hand on Doek-su’s chest. “Wait, wait, please, I need to say something.”

“What?” Doek-su asked with a sigh and straightened up.

“I – uh, I don’t think I’m ready. Can we – can we maybe wait, until after the honeymoon maybe? We can get to know each other there and–”

“Felix, are you really going to be a tease?” Felix’ mouth snapped shut as he stared up at Doek-su with wide eyes. “I’ve been so patient, baby, I gave you this whole month to adjust and get ready, and now – at our wedding night, you’ll just refuse me? Don’t do that to me.” Felix opened his mouth and his husband kissed him. "Are you wearing my gift?" Felix blushed and nodded. He hadn’t felt like pushing his luck and making his husband unhappy, so he’d put on the lingerie although it wasn’t really to his taste. Doek-su grinned. "You’re all prepped up and then you’ll tell me you’re not ready. Lies. I’m your husband now, Felix, you belong to me. We belong to each other. Let’s make that official, yeah?”

He was kissing Felix again and Felix couldn’t complain further. He didn’t have good arguments against these points beyond his preference not to have sex right now and that was obviously not very convincing. 

Felix soon found himself in the lingerie only, his husband taking his time pulling it off him and littering his body with bites and hickeys. Doek-su took off his clothes too while Felix watched frozen on the bed. He wasn’t unattractive. He did exercise regularly and went to the best cosmeticians of Korea so Felix wasn’t surprised to find a nice, well-shaped body under the expensive suit and was quite glad for it. He still didn’t feel as affected as his husband obviously was – his dick hard and pointing up and his scent already smelling of sex before they’d even fully started – but he hoped Doek-su being pleasant to look at was going to help him and his body get into it at some point.

Doek-su pulled at Felix’ soft dick as he went back to kissing him, but gave up quickly and his hand sneaked down to Felix’ hole. Felix yelped and moved away when he felt two fingers poke at him. “Wait, uh, take it slow. Please.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll slick up soon baby. Turn around and present for your alpha.” Felix did, shakily, and was glad he could hide his red face in the pillows. “Oh, yes. Look at yourself. So innocent but presenting like a whore.” Felix was shaken by a full body shudder and he moved to hide his butt from Doek-su’s eyes but his husband held him in place by the hips. “No, beautiful, don’t move, nothing to be ashamed of. Omegas are made to submit to their alpha and you’re doing that perfectly. That’s how I like it.”

Well, Felix didn’t slick up. Doek-su used some lube but his impatience rushed the preparation step and then Felix was screaming like a pig being butchered while his husband forced his way into his body. He grit his teeth and gripped the sheets underneath his body, trying to keep the pain to himself but unable to. If he’d known it would hurt that much, he would have done something to prepare earlier. Used one of his heat toys to open up. His eyes were steadily leaking tears and Doek-su was lapping at them and kissing his cheeks as he thrust into him brutally.

“So pretty like this. Taking my big cock like a champ. And you love it, don’t you, baby?” Felix didn’t and he wondered how Doek-su could continue with his excitement and arousal when there was an omega in distress smelling like fear and pain right there. Weren’t alphas supposed to have a protective streak when it came to omegas? Felix supposed they also had the uncontrollable urge to breed. God, he was so glad he was not in heat; he wasn't ready to handle this multiple times a day for days on end.

The pain intensified when Doek-su’s dick started filling up more at the base and Felix felt a chill run down his back. His husband’s knot was pulling at his rim. “Wait – wait, Doek-su, you can’t knot me, this is already –”

Doek-su pulled on his hair with a growl and Felix yelped, his husband slamming in harder than before and actually getting his knot inside Felix. Felix yelled out at the hot white pain that almost blinded him and shook under Doek-su’s body. “I’m your alpha now, Felix. I’ll knot you when I want to,” the man hissed in Felix’ ear as he thrust in a few more times and then slammed in one last time with a groan. He stayed in place and Felix could feel him shoot his load deep inside. 

Felix continued crying quietly, trying to extract any comfort he could from Doek-su’s warm body on top of him and his now familiar scent. Doek-su’s hand moved up to caress his neck and chest and Felix leaned into it, seeking the touch. When fifteen minutes later his husband’s knot went down, Felix’ face had finally dried of the tears. Doek-su pulled away and Felix whimpered at the loss. He reached out for Doek-su and the man squeezed his hand before letting it go.

“I have to piss.” He exited the room to visit the adjacent bathroom that Felix hadn’t known existed. Felix stayed in the same position he’d been left in, staring ahead blankly, zoning out for what felt like forever, before someone pushed his body sideways. Doek-su. The room was dark now, he noticed. “Move a little, Felix, I need space.”

Felix complied automatically and stared at his husband, trying to make out his face in the darkness. Doek-su laid down and pulled the summer blanket to cover himself. Felix moved closer, the movement sending a sharp pain between his legs, and making him whine. There was semen leaking out of his ass and the unfamiliar sensation made him shudder. “Felix, baby, you should go to your bed, too. We should get some sleep before our flight. Ah, Felix! Don’t make the bed dirtier than it is already!” Doek-su smelled annoyed and Felix gripped the blanket tighter.

“I thought I’d sleep here,” he said quietly.

“Oh no, baby, I’ve rented you the Queen’s quarters, that’s the room you had for switching suits and refreshing makeup. I don’t like it when someone sleeps in my bed.” Felix felt himself tear up irrationally. The man had taken him almost by force – did he really expect compassion and cuddles afterwards? 

“But this is our bed,” he whispered. Not really theirs but – the bed in which they’d made love for the first time. Consummated the marriage. 

“Are you paying for it? No, only I am. Look, Felix, please go to sleep, yeah? I’m tired.” Felix held in tears and let out a sigh as he got off the bed. “And come back here once you’re up in the morning. We can do a round two.” Doek-su slapped his ass with a chuckle. Felix started slowly walking away from the bed, feeling cold and miserable. “Put something on, don’t flash the whole residence now. This body is for my eyes only.”

Chapter Text

Chan looked at his wrist watch silently. Time was passing slow. He was cool and calm on the surface, but his mind and heart were racing. The… muffled screams his ears could pick up – heartbreaking. That poor young omega. Despite Felix’ insistence that he stay away, Chan remained by the door and for the majority of the night was on the edge of bursting in there and putting a stop to the activities inside, but… He wasn’t alone guarding the King’s room, two of Choi’s personal guards were lined right by the door’s entrance a couple of feet away from him. They were actually supposed to be there, unlike him.

The doors opened slightly and he watched as his charge slipped out and then closed the doors behind himself quietly, before slowly starting to limp towards the end of the hallway where the long staircase was. He didn’t seem aware of the presence of the three alphas, just marching slowly, head held down. Chan immediately caught up with him, walking a step behind. His nose scrunched up and he almost choked on the awful stench that followed Felix. He reeked of rejection and pain and fear, and also of sex and another alpha, and Chan had to actively suppress his anger and agitation before he spooked Felix ever more. If the man could even notice him. His eyes seemed unfocused as he rounded into the staircase and took another step forward, then started falling down.

Chan reacted quickly and pulled him back, Felix gasping as he finally seemed to realise he wasn’t alone. Chan hoped what he was going to do next would be received well and not traumatise the man further, but he didn’t trust Felix’ body to hold him upright in the moment. He picked him up bridal style and started making his way down the stairs. Felix was looking up at his face, his eyes teary, and Chan glanced at him once before concentrating on not stumbling either. “Sir,” he greeted quietly. “I’ll let you down in a minute, I promise.”

It was probably not a good idea to introduce another alpha’s scent and presence to Felix when he was this deep in his head and so obviously traumatised, but Chan had to escort him to his rooms in any case. He hoped his charge would forgive it. To his surprise, Felix moved in his grip and then there was a cold nose pressed against his neck. Chan had to pause on the small platform before tackling the next set of stairs, unsure how to react. Felix was breathing in deeply, leaning his head on Chan’s shoulder and nuzzling his face there. Chan grit his teeth. Letting his employer's husband scent him minutes after they were done having sex was hardly professional. 

Then again, offering to barge in during said sex when his employer’s husband yelled for him was not professional either. Chan had already crossed the line after hearing one off-hand comment so the best he could do was just embrace it and help the omega as much as he could. Chan adjusted his grip on Felix and rubbed his cheek against the man’s hair. Felix made a sound and grabbed onto Chan’s shirt, burying his face deeper into Chan’s neck. Chan continued walking down the second set of stairs and tried to release soothing pheromones. 

“Yeah? Is that better? You’re good, Felix, I promise, you’re safe. I’ve got you,” he said quietly, hoping no staff member was going to run into them this late and in this part of the palace. Felix whimpered and pressed impossibly closer. Chan hurried to get to their destination, finding it increasingly harder to stop himself from getting angry. He could smell blood and had to pull himself back from snarling. He wanted to walk up to the King’s room and give his employer a piece of his mind. This was no way to treat your husband, your omega, your – anything! This was no way to treat anyone. He placed Felix’ feet down gently to open the door to the Queen’s quarters. Felix whined and Chan shushed him quietly, taking the extra mile and leaning closer to scent Felix’ neck. The omega would need alpha pheromones to calm down – something his husband should have provided. Chan’s lip curled. 

Felix swayed on his feet and Chan realised he’d been falling asleep already. Chan huffed. “Almost there, Lix. You’re doing so well. Let’s get you into bed, eh?” Felix leaned back closer and nodded against his throat, his lips dragging along the skin there. Chan had to hold in a full body shudder. The omega was starting to smell a lot more like himself and was pressing so, so close. “Alright, here we go.” He gathered his charge in his arms again to carry him to the bed. He placed him down as gently as he could and tried to pull away but couldn’t, Felix’ hand still fisted in his shirt. Chan tried to pry the lithe fingers away unsuccessfully and chuckled. “You’re a lot stronger than you look, you know that, sir?” he whispered and looked around the empty rooms needlessly. Oh what the hell, he’d already scented the man, might as well do this too.

Chan took off his suit jacket and gun holster then unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off without Felix’ hand dislodging. The boy pulled it closer and curled up around it. Chan smiled a little at how small and endearing the omega looked at that moment and pulled the blanket on top of him. He hoped Felix would at least sleep easy and rest up. His smile slipped off as he remembered that his charge had a husband. Had an alpha that was supposed to take care of him. He grit his teeth and allowed himself to brush Felix’ hair away from his face before slipping out of the room.

The next morning Chan knocked on Felix’ door the moment he heard a maid had delivered him painkillers. “If he wants to see me, he can come see me. He also has legs!” Felix shouted from the inside. Chan blinked and chuckled, some of his worries disappearing. The boy still had bite. 

“Should I go relay the message, sir?” Chan asked cheekily before he could stop himself. There was silence after that but Chan could hear the patter of Felix’ feet on the floor. Then the door opened. 

“I thought it's his guard again, sorry. You, uh, you can come in.” Felix opened the door wider and Chan glanced quickly at the hallway before slipping in and letting Felix close it behind him. Felix was moving away towards the bed quickly after that but Chan did manage to catch a whiff of his scent – fully floral, honey-sweet; he'd showered. Good. The last thing Chan needed was his boss asking him why he'd scented his husband. Not smelling someone else's spunk on his charge’s skin was also good. Chan cleared his throat and Felix sighed as he sat down on his bed in an odd sideways position. 

“How are you feeling?” Chan asked finally and Felix huffed. 

“I'm fine. Look, Chan… Thank you for yesterday, really, I appreciate your help. But now, can we please move past it?” Move past what? His husband raping him? And then dumping him to fare for himself? Chan had seen Choi dispose of his previous wife after sex in a similar manner, but she had been frankly just as emotionally stunted as her partner. Chan had disapproved of it back then just as he disapproved now, but at least she hadn’t been affected by it. If anything, she liked to be productive in the high after sex – which Chan never understood but wasn’t going to shame her for. Felix was obviously different, however. Not only that – it has been his first time and Choi had treated him like trash.

“Felix –”

“Chan, please.” Chan clenched his teeth and remained silent. Felix gulped the rest of his coffee in one go and Chan looked around the room. His shirt was nowhere to be seen, probably shoved in the bottom of the trashcan, to remove any trace of his presence there. He didn't care about the shirt but – it reminded him that in the next couple of weeks, during the couple’s honeymoon, he wasn’t going to be there if Felix needed someone again. It made his chest contract. 

“Felix, you know I'm not coming to Hawaii… I wanted to – please be careful.” Felix opened his mouth and then closed it. Then he nodded slowly. 

“Don’t worry about me. I'll be back in two weeks and you'll get dragged to the studio or the cute cat cafe the moment I touch Korean soil.” The boy had a small smile on and Chan smiled back with a small bow of his head. 

“I’ll be waiting, sir.” 

—

The honeymoon was nothing like what Felix had imagined. 

There was a lot of sex. So much sex that Felix was beginning to get used to it, his body starting to respond sometimes. He rarely ever actually finished in a satisfactory way since his husband was just not too concerned with his pleasure and Felix still refused to touch himself while Doek-su was using his body. But his dick did get hard and he found himself slicking up a few times to the immense delight of his husband. The first time it happened, Felix had cried then and there and Doek-su growled in pleasure, licking his tears. 

During their couplings Doek-su got a lot more possessive and primal than he usually acted and it was then that Felix felt the most like a prey. Not just prey – he’d already been preyed on, he’d been captured. He’d lost. 

He was no longer on suppressants either, another one of his defeats. Felix knew that it was possible for an omega’s body to naturally suppress heats when in situations of extreme duress. He hoped with all his being that he’d fall into one of these edge cases, but the fact that his body was reacting to the alpha’s stimulation during sex told him those were empty hopes.

When they weren’t having sex, they barely spent time together. Doek-su was a real workaholic, bringing some of his work along to their trip, and spending hours on end in his office. Those were the best parts of the holiday. Then, Felix took the time to explore. Doek-su owned part of the island, which was where this resort was built. A holiday house of his, of sorts. It meant that Felix could roam around with almost no risks involved. There were still guards placed around at strategic locations and quite some CCTV cameras, but overall, Felix was left to his own devices.

In his boredom, he took to chatting with Jisung, whose number he’d taken during that one evening before his wedding when they baked brownies together, and with Hyunjin, who was easier to talk to online with Google Translate acting as the middle man, making their messages readable for both sides. Jisung was as talkative and all over the place via text as he was in person, spamming Felix with videos of cute animals, memes and news articles. Hyunjin texted more sporadically, but kept sending him snapshots of his day and the painting he was currently working on. Felix enjoyed talking to them and felt like without their presence in his days, he would have gone insane on the island, cooped up with just Doek-su for so long.

The only other thing that kept him going was dancing – there was a fitness room in the house, equipped with space for yoga with a few big mirrors, which Felix decided to repurpose. 

He released a couple of vlogs, too, not about to stop his streak after so long, but for the first time he experienced working on those as a chore. Felix’ vlogs were about authenticity, about trying out new things and failing or succeeding but staying positive throughout it and crying about it when needed, about living. He needed to cry, he needed to vent, he needed to beg, but he couldn’t. All he could do was make a montage of the wedding day and show off the beach and the trees, and talk about how happy he was to be married, how blessed he was to get to spend some time in this beautiful place. His fans – and his fanbase had grown so much in the past month, his followers on Instagram were in the millions – left thousands of comments saying they were happy for him, but there were also a lot of people wondering where his husband was. Felix begged Doek-su to make an appearance in his second vlog and his husband agreed, deciding he could give the fans a tour of the luxurious house. Felix didn’t care about what capacity he was going to join the video in, he just wanted to not worry his fans.

By the time the honeymoon ended and they were on the private jet flying towards Korea, Felix found himself buzzing with anticipation to be back.

“One would think you're more excited about Korea than Hawaii. You didn’t like the destination?" Doek-su asked and Felix slowed down putting his belongings in his small bag to get off the plane. 

"I just got restless when flying," he defended. 

They were walking off the private jet just minutes later and Felix bit down on a grin the moment his eyes landed on Chan. His bodyguard was dressed in all black as usual, hands clasped in front of his body and face serious as he looked sideways at one of the other bodyguards, who was speaking. He nodded and said something back that Felix couldn’t hear from so far away before the alpha was facing them. Felix' smile widened when Chan's face seemed to be pointed in his general direction, though because of the sunglasses he couldn’t know if the man saw him for sure. 

"Is the other jet ready?" his husband asked his personal detail and Felix stopped behind him with a frown. Another jet? 

"Yes, sir. The car to get there is ready too." Felix realised suddenly then that there were two SUVs parked next to them. 

"Wait… You're leaving already?" Felix asked, irked. He wasn’t sad he was going to miss out on his husband's affections – quite the opposite – but it did bother him how little he was told. How unimportant he was made feel. He was plucked out of his world and his comfort zone, out of everything he knew, and for what? To be fucked and then put aside to wait until his husband felt in the mood again and had time to go for a second round? 

"Felix, please,” Doek-su said with a pointed look and then looked at Chan with a sly grin. "I wish you good luck with this one. He's restless," he said mockingly and chuckled, turning to Felix. "I would’ve expected him to be a lot more tired and timid after two weeks of fucking." Felix blinked, unbelieving and feeling himself get hot in the face. He opened his mouth to retort something – anything – but his husband kissed him with tongue. The moment he moved away, Felix stepped a few feet backwards and fought against wiping his mouth. “Bye, baby. Behave while I’m gone, yeah? I’ll see you in a couple of days.” Felix almost rolled his eyes.

“Of course,” he muttered and then Doek-su was off, his bodyguard escorting him to one of the SUVs. Only Felix and Chan stayed back, alongside the car he’d come to recognise as his, the one Changbin always drove. He started walking towards it with a sigh, Chan immediately falling into step and opening the door for him. Felix glanced behind his back, taking in his husband walking into the other car, phone at his ear already. Now that he was at a safe distance, Felix faced Chan again. “Hey,” he said quietly and Chan gave him a small smile. 

“Welcome back, sir.” Felix smiled back and entered the car where Changbin was already grinning at him. 

“Ai, sir. How is Hawaii?” Felix chuckled. He hadn’t seen much of it, confined to the private beach strip and forest Doek-su owned, but what he had seen was breathtaking. Easily the best part about the whole trip.

“Very nice. Great weather, great beaches, great food. I loved it." Changbin nodded. 

“Sad that holiday is done,” he said and Felix didn't answer. 

“Well, which are we visiting first? Studio or cat cafe?” Chan asked and Changbin said something in rapid fire Korean that had Chan laughing loudly and reaching out to slap the back of his head. Felix stared at Chan with confusion but the man shook his head. “Nothing, sir, I promise. Changbin is being inappropriate.” Felix sent the driver a questioning look and the man laughed waving his hand around. In moments like these, Felix wished he knew Korean. 

“Actually, we’re going to neither. I have a full schedule.” Even though he felt dead on his feet. His husband had made sure to inform him on the plane back about some of his extra responsibilities and new classes, now that he was officially a Choi. Chan blinked, head tilting in confusion. 

“I haven’t received an updated schedule.” 

“We drafted it in the plane, that’s probably why.” Felix held in a sigh and looked at Changbin. “Can you please take us to the firm?” Changbin nodded before his eyes flickered to Chan who said something in Korean, probably repeating the phrase. Felix suddenly felt his excitement diminish. He'd missed life in Korea, Chan most of all which was understandable given his kindness in the last day before Hawaii, but now that he was back he realised he'd romanticised things a bit. In Korea he had to go to meetings and take lessons and work on his thesis and keep up appearances. In Korea he had to sit to the side while everyone spoke a different language, he had to interact majorly with people on his husband's payroll and not friends he had made on his own. Felix sighed and melted into the cushions, wishing he could just take a nap.

—

Felix loved visiting the Dance!Dance! studio. Dancing did not require any words, so the language barrier between him and Hyunjin and Minho suddenly disappeared when they were on the dance floor. Not only that, dancing was what he used to do back in Sydney, what he’d been doing since he knew how to walk, and made him feel connected to himself, to his real self. So he spent every hour he had free there. Sometimes his two companions didn’t join – if he’d fled the mansion late in the evening seeking refuge in dancing – but usually they were already in the studio when he arrived.

Minho was a dancing teacher in Dance!Dance! , Felix learned soon after meeting them, and Hyunjin was a dancer and art major who had already had the opportunity to be a backup dancer at a few concerts of K-POP idols and frequented the dancing studio more than his own home. Hyunjin tried to speak English to him but in the majority of cases just talked to Chan, expecting him to act as translator. Minho, on the other hand, spoke only Korean except to greet Felix upon arrival. He was bad at languages, Hyunjin had told him over text one night; it was something that made him self-conscious, he’d said. Hyunjin was a gossip, Felix also learned, and his constant bickering with Minho was quite entertaining.

“I watched your videos,” Hyunjin told him while they were calming down after an intense session. Felix was soaked and the other two were no better. Minho’s shirt stuck to his body like second skin and there was sweat dripping off Hyunjin’s nose. 

“Oh, the vlogs?” 

“And dance videos,” Hyunjin confirmed and passed him a water bottle, then one to Minho. “You can make dance videos here.” Felix knew what he was referring to; the last video of him dancing had been uploaded ten weeks ago. Felix had used to film himself quite often back in the dance room at the university sports center which he could rent for free given his side job manning the information desk there. He’d stopped for an indefinite amount as Doek-su arrived in Sydney asking for his hand and then pulled him over the ocean to Korea. 

“Would you like to be part of the videos?” Now that Hyunjin mentioned it, Felix wanted to go back to it. And even better – wanted to make his two new friends part of the videos too. They were such skilled dancers, it was going to be an honor to have them on his channel. He looked at Chan and nodded at Minho. Chan repeated the question in Korean and Minho turned to Hyunjin. The two seemed to have a silent conversation with their facial expressions only and then turned to him.

“Sure, why no?” Hyunjin said with a grin while Minho nodded. Minho said something with a small smirk and Felix turned to Chan again.

“He wants 30% of the profits. He said he’s being generous, asking for so little,” Chan translated with a small smile while Hyunjin scoffed and pushed at Minho’s shoulder, talking again. “Hyunjin’s telling him he’s the star, so he should get the biggest cut and Minho should take the least.” Felix laughed and shook his head as Minho slapped the back of Hyunjin’s head. 

“We’ll do a brother’s share, okay?” Hyunjin scrunched his nose and looked at Chan who dutifully repeated in Korean. “Maybe this Thursday? Also, I still don’t have a vlog for this week, so you can join that one, too!” The more he thought about it, he more ideas he got. “Maybe we can go shopping or something, film a day out? It’ll be my first vlog from Korea with friends! It will be so exciting!” Felix was grinning widely, planning it out in his head already. He looked at Chan as the man translated and Chan glanced at him, giving him a warm smile too. Then they both looked at Minho and Hyunjin who had a short conversation that Chan didn’t clue him in to.

“Let’s do it!” Hyunjin said and reached out with a fist. Felix bumped it and then bumped Minho’s, too, barely stopping himself before he gathered them in a hug. Even if he was feeling deep connections forming towards the two, they were still alphas he met a month ago, and there were moral codes to follow. The etiquette courses were coming in handy, who could have thought!?

Apart from dancing, his days were preoccupied with work on his master thesis and the classes he’d started taking at the local university. He was doing a few catch-up programs tailored just for him during the summer, which were supposed to prepare him for the Master degree in Business and Management he was starting in September. Doek-su must have had to pull some strings, Felix suspected, to get that tailor-made English-taught program and easy acceptance, but since his return from Hawaii, Felix was an official student at the University of Seoul. He met up with his tutors in the firm instead of the university, however, with his husband insisting he shouldn’t be forced to mingle with the simple people that crawled around campus. Felix held back a lot of opinions, and didn’t argue, given that he was happy to avoid socialisation and public spaces. On top of all that school work, he was slowly getting deeper into how Choi Inc.’s charity fundraiser worked, often shadowing the current director in meetings and while working. As the future director of the fundraiser, and as Doek-su’s husband, he attended a few high-class galas, hanging off the alpha’s arm and smiling politely as people ignored him and spoke to his husband in Korean.

In sum, his new schedule was absolutely merciless. The only silver lining was that his etiquette lessons were over and Doek-su had finally officially allowed him to put a stop to his torture with the Korean course. His husband hadn’t held back in telling him how stupid of a decision that was, but Felix managed to placate him by promising he was going to try again later. He didn’t plan to follow through – at least not in order to please Doek-su – but his husband didn’t have to know that.

Doek-su was gone most of the time, holed up in his office, working at the company or on business trips. Felix liked these days the best, and really disliked the nights where Doek-su was home and insisted on dinner together. Dinner together always ended up with them in Felix’ bed, fucking, and Doek-su leaving him there alone right after. That was another thing – they’d been married for close to two months now and Felix still had no clue what the inside of his husband’s room looked like. They each kept to their own rooms and Felix had mixed feelings about that. If he’d had to share Doek-su’s bed every night, they were going to end up having sex a lot more often, which Felix had a lot against. But… Felix had an alpha, Felix had a husband, and yet he was being ignored the majority of the time, without any physical touch, without any scenting, without shared warmth and late-night conversations under the blankets. All of his hopes for his future marriage and partner were shattered slowly one by one, and all he could do was watch it happen.

He tried not to let that put him down. He could still dance, learn, attend meetings of his own in a place he felt was capable of making a change. He could stay in and read all night unbothered, he could talk to Jisung in the kitchen as they prepared breakfast or baked cookies for no reason at all, he could almost fully immerse himself in the illusion that he was free. Even with his husband barging in and demanding his presence once a week, Felix was starting to settle into a rhythm, with Chan by his side – his eternal shadow that was starting to feel a lot more like a close friend than a bodyguard.

It was just when Felix felt like he was slowly getting back on his feet and he could make things work, could make this life work even in the long run, that he had to have the rug pulled from under his feet. And this time by his own body. He didn’t even realise, too caught up with everything else in his life, that his heat was coming up, since he had stopped his suppresants after their wedding night. He did realise it, however, when one evening after a late night in the nice 24/7 cat cafe, he almost got jumped. 

“Really? You think I can sign up at that dojo?" Felix asked, feeling a bit dazed as he walked into the chilly night air. He'd spent almost three full hours in the cafe, reading school papers and petting cats, but towards the end he could feel Chan getting agitated, probably at sitting for so long in the same place, and he'd picked up a conversation. One thing had led to another and they'd changed just about ten topics in the past two hours. 

"Of course, sir, why not? You can sign up for any dojo, doesn't even have to be that one. But I am very happy with it." The dojo wasn’t going to turn his money away, Felix was aware, that hadn’t been the question. He wasn’t sure his husband was going to like the idea of him taking taekwondo classes. Then again, Deok-su didn’t particularly like him dancing either and that wasn’t stopping Felix! He was still scared of crossing a line at some point, however. Besides, he was most probably going to have to speak Korean to the people there and that was just a no-go. 

"Yeah, I'll think about it." Chan gave him a long look, always attuned to his feelings somehow – maybe his nose was just really sensitive. Felix shuddered at a sudden chill and Chan stepped closer. 

"Are you sure I shouldn’t call Changbin?" 

"I like walking," Felix insisted stubbornly and Chan sighed. 

"At least take my jacket. Please, sir." Felix spared a glance. If he had to be honest, being surrounded by Chan's warmth and scent sounded very, very good in that moment, so Felix rolled his eyes for show and held out his hand. Chan chuckled and took off his jacket in one swift motion and then draped it over his shoulders. Felix quickly drew it closer around himself and tried to sniff it discreetly. “Warmer?" Felix hummed and looked at Chan's now bare arms. He didn’t seem bothered by the cold and thinking back on it – Felix hadn’t been either just yesterday, it was only today that he'd woken up feverish. 

"You know, you have some serious muscle for someone that walks or sits around following me all day." Chan chuckled, his dimples appearing and his eyes closing almost fully, the happy wrinkles around them more prominent. He looked so carefree, young, sweet when he smiled like that. So adorable and yet hot. Felix blinked. Well, that was an unexpected thought. 

“I work out,” Chan told him, pulling him out of his head. Felix frowned. 

“When? You’re literally with me all day every day.”

“But not at night. And you do like to take your time with those Sunday naps.” Chan raised an eyebrow with a teasing grin. “Sir,” he added belatedly and that only sounded more mocking. Felix gasped. 

“It's a proven fact that omegas need more sleep than alphas! Wait – in the night? When do you sleep?” 

“I don’t sleep much,” Chan said more quietly, looking bashful all of a sudden and Felix opened his mouth to ask something but then Chan was snarling and moving to stand in front of him, one hand reaching behind him to press Felix against his back and the other bunched into some unfamiliar alpha's shirt. The stranger was taller than them, hissing at Chan's face before zeroing in on Felix over his shoulder. Felix blinked at the hungry look and only then registered the stink of arousal. Chan pushed the man against the wall of the building next to them and bared his teeth again. He snapped something in Korean and Felix wanted to understand the language now more than ever.

The other alpha replied and Chan did too, raising his voice. The two hissed at each other and Felix reached out to place a hand over Chan's on his back, feeling the need for comfort, starting to choke on alpha pheromones. Weirdly enough, they were having a different effect on his body than what he'd expected. He didn’t want to run to safety, he wanted to press closer. 

The stranger said something more as he stepped aside, his nostrils flaring and looking at Felix again. Chan rotated their bodies so he was the one still facing the man and – oh. Embarrassingly late, Felix' head finally caught up with the rest of his body. 

Felix no longer paid attention to the incomprehensible conversation and didn’t even notice the man leave. His heat was starting. He was in pre-heat. It explained the feverish state. It explained the desire to be surrounded by Chan's scent, a strong reliable alpha’s scent. It explained… his embarrassing thoughts. 

“Felix? You alright?” Chan's voice pulled him back to the present and Felix’ eyes focused on Chan's face. He forgot sometimes that Chan was his bodyguard, that his job was not to keep him company as he went about his day but to protect him from threats of all kinds. Felix hadn’t even realised someone was reaching for him from the side before Chan had reacted and already neutralised the threat. He could giggle and grin while they talked about the random topic of the day, but he could also send murderous glares towards the paparazzi, threaten his assailants and order everyone in the room around in his capacity of security detail head. That side of Chan… It was also hot. Felix licked his lips. “Felix? Can you hear me?” Felix blinked. Okay, the heat was starting up faster than he had expected. 

“I, uh, I'm almost in heat,” he admitted stupidly and Chan stared for a long time before chuckling. 

“Uh yeah. Did you only notice now? Sir.” Felix sent him a glare and Chan moved back, taking his phone out of his pocket. “I’m calling Changbin.” Felix sighed and leaned against the wall, hugging the jacket tighter when another shiver wrecked his body. Chan spoke in Korean and only said a couple of sentences before he looked back at Felix, putting his phone away. 

“When did you notice?” Felix asked, suddenly feeling tired. He was going to have a long deep sleep now, in preparation for his heat and in the morning – his body was going to be ready. His husband was going to be ecstatic, he realised, and immediately shut down that train of thought. 

“Yesterday evening. You were a bit too easily irritable. And your scent started changing.”

“You have a very good nose,” Felix commented and Chan nodded. “How come you’re not affected by it then?” Felix blurted out and flushed immediately. That… hadn’t been what he’d been planning to say next. But he was curious. A little offended, maybe. Self-conscious definitely. He wanted to know what was it that he was missing that made Chan resist him? 

“It's, uh…” Chan chuckled and he looked uncomfortable for the first time since Felix met him. “I don’t have ruts.” An omega in heat in close proximity triggered an alpha's rut; it was why they reacted so impulsively and territorially whenever in their presence, like the random stranger had – the rut starting to take effect and win over the rational part of the brain. Chan’s lack of reaction did make sense. Felix had never heard of an alpha with no ruts before, however. Maybe it was some rare disorder? “There's a reason your husband trusts an unmated alpha with his partners.” Felix blinked. Partners? 

“You were the bodyguard of his previous wife?” Chan nodded mutely and turned around as a car parked behind. 

“This is a topic for another day. For now let's get you home, sir,” Chan said as he gently grabbed Felix' shoulder and peeled him away from the wall. Felix swayed on his feet but found his footing. Chan kept an arm at his shoulder, looking around as he led him to the car and opened the door for him. Felix stumbled into the car seat and sprawled on it, letting his legs fall into the empty space to give Chan space to sit too. Chan said something in Korean and Felix pouted, unable to understand. 

“아니요,” he mumbled and Changbin and Chan both chuckled. Felix whined and moved towards Chan so that his ass and thighs were pressed against Chan's leg. It was warm like that, between Chan's body heat and his thick jacket. Safe. Chan stood still for a few seconds before his hand made it on top of Felix' arm, rubbing up and down with a feather-light touch. Felix sighed and closed his eyes, ready for a nap. The soft voices of his bodyguard and driver lulled him to sleep.

Chapter Text

Felix woke up in his own bed not remembering at all how he got there. He was wrapped up tightly in a blanket and his skin felt like it was burning. He was sweaty, too, but what took his attention immediately was the many smells in the room. There was his usual floral scent, but there was also fresh summer breeze and – earthy undertones. His husband.

His eyes flew open and he blinked a few times, trying to focus on Doek-su’s face. The alpha was looking down at his phone but turned to face Felix with a raised eyebrow. Felix wasn’t in full blown heat yet but he was definitely affected and his traitorous body was starting to care less and less about who exactly sat there as long as they had a dick to fill him up. He opened his mouth but his husband beat him to it. 

“You stink of your bodyguard. I’m not touching you while you reek like this,” Doek-su said flatly and the intensity in his eyes made Felix shudder. He whined. “Don’t be like that now. What should I say? I come home to the most intoxicating smell and I know it’s from my omega, my little omega that only I get to touch and that’s waiting for me to take care of,” – he leaned closer and Felix gasped when he grabbed his long hair in a fist –, “and then I go to my omega and I find him smelling like a whorehouse.” Felix shook his head. 

“Not a whore,” he mumbled and his husband released his hair, going back to his phone. “Nothing happened, he brought me back here yesterday after my pre-heat started. He’s always with me, he’s my bodyguard – I can’t not spend time with him,” Felix fumbled, trying to explain himself, scared that now he’d have to go through the torture of the heat alone and with an enraged alpha breathing down his neck. 

“But you can shower before you start begging for my knot. I don’t ask much of you, Felix, don’t you see? This is just basic decency,” Doek-su snapped and Felix swallowed back tears. 

“I’m sorry, I was out of it yesterday, I–” 

“Felix, stop whining and do what you should’ve done already. Go shower.” Felix nodded and dragged himself up.

Doek-su got over his initial problem about Chan’s scent quickly enough once Felix was out of the shower, and managed to fall into a complimentary rut to better keep up with the demands of Felix’ body. Felix felt completely out of it at that point, pressing his body against his husband’s and begging for release. Doek-su enjoyed that immensely and fucked him hard against the mattress, knotting him in the end. Doek-su’s interest in his ass wavered off after that one coupling and the next time Felix started whining, he pushed the omega to his knees and slapped his cheek with his cock.

He teased Felix for a long time, gagging him for a while until Felix was crying, wiping pre-cum in Felix’ hair, poking his eyes with his dick. “You love it, don’t you?” his husband hissed through his teeth, the only words he’d managed to push through the whole time with his rut taking over. “You love your master’s cock. You need it. Say it.”

“I need it,” Felix grit out through his sobs. His hole was contracting around nothing, empty and painful, his stomach aching as well. He needed Doek-su’s dick inside him, not on him. Doek-su pushed his cock deep down Felix’ throat and he fought more tears as he gagged. Doek-su squeezed the base of his dick, keeping himself from cumming and Felix whined. He wanted the man to finish already and stop torturing his mouth.

Doek-su did get enough of playing with him at some point and fucked him again. Felix cried in relief but found it hard to actually enjoy the knotting. The three days passed in a similar fashion. His husband did fuck Felix multiple times but there was something missing. His stupid biology was mostly sated – although Felix hated how his husband would tease him and put off his orgasm, making Felix focus on pleasuring him instead when Felix could barely form a coherent thought – and yet he was on the verge of tears the whole time, including when he woke up alone on the fourth day. The heat was definitely over, leaving him behind with the post-heat phase of tenderness both inside and out, which seemed scaled to a thousand this particular time. 

Felix reached out for his phone as his stomach rumbled; he’d barely eaten anything in the past few days. The foods his husband would order delivered to his rooms were too complex and not to his liking for a heat. All thought of food was forgotten the moment he read Doek-su’s text messages. Had to leave for a few meetings, you should also not laze around too long. That one was sent early in the morning, presumably when the alpha woke up to go to work. The next one came a full hour later. With how desperate you were for my cock, I’d be surprised if you’re not expecting already ;) Not that I’d mind a repeat performance to try harder.

For a moment, Felix forgot how to breathe. He could be pregnant. 

He could feel his body shake, the post-heat hormones and nerves escalating everything in his head. With trembling fingers, Felix dialed Doek-su, feeling desperate. “Ah, Felix, I told you I’d be in meetings, didn’t I?” Felix swallowed and tried to speak but could only sob. “Oh, baby, do you miss your alpha already?” Felix didn’t like his tone of voice but he ignored that for now. He shook his head even though Doek-su wouldn’t be able to see. 

“We didn’t use contraceptives,” he stammered out. There were pills and shots to take during a heat. Or a device to get inserted into the mating channel. There were many ways to avoid a pregnancy.

“Of course we didn’t, beautiful. We want a baby.” 

Felix gaped. “I – I’ve told you, I – I don’t want a baby. I – it’s too soon, I’m not ready for–”

“Felix. Are you really going to deny me this? We talked about this, I want a child, I want an heir. This is important to me and as my husband you should care about that!” Felix opened his mouth to stutter a reply – that applied to Doek-su, too! – but his husband spoke over him, “Look, Felix, baby, I respected your wish to stop the suppressants later, didn’t I? I gave you time to get accustomed to life here before sleeping with you, didn’t I? Now you should respect my wish to have a baby. Okay? Be a good omega and stop lying in bed and overthinking. I need to get back to my meeting but I’ll see you later.”

The call cut off and Felix stared at the phone in his hands for a long time, unblinking, unbelieving, before he yelled angrily and threw the offensive device against the wall with all his power. The phone fell flat to the floor and Felix slammed himself down onto the mattress, sobbing into his pillow. He could be pregnant. That was what Doek-su was hoping for. 

“Sir? Is everything alright?” Chan. 

“I’m fine, you can leave,” he tried to call out through the tears and hoped he was legible. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but you don’t sound fine. May I come in?” Felix’ head snapped up and he hurried out of the bed, stumbling hard onto the ground as he tried to untangle himself from the blankets unsuccessfully. He crawled to the door and pressed himself against it, barricading it against the alpha. 

“No! No! No, no, no, you can’t! No! No, please no.” Felix was very likely pregnant and had no control over what happened with his body. He was about to bring into the world a child while he himself barely felt like an adult and his marriage to the baby’s father was cold and loveless. He needed time. To fix his relations with Doek-su, to adjust to Korea, to feel ready. Time. He wanted time. 

“Sir–” 

“No! You can’t come in! 

“That’s okay, I won’t. I just want to talk.” There was some movement on the other side and Felix felt resistance from the door where Chan presumably slid to sit on the floor on the other side and also leaned against it. Felix shivered and was reminded that he was naked on the cold flood. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he wailed and tried to get a hold of his emotions. He didn’t want the whole mansion overhearing his childish tantrum. 

“Does something hurt, Felix?” Everything hurt. He hurt between the legs the most, but his muscles were sore, his head was pounding, his stomach was eating itself from the inside out. His whole being ached with the idea of Doek-su’s baby in his belly. He cried harder. He didn’t want a baby yet. He wanted to dance and to finish his degree. He wasn’t ready to be responsible for a human being. He wasn’t ready to push out a gigantic baby head that was probably going to tear– “Felix? Please let me in. Let me make sure you’re alright. Please.” 

Felix shook at the gentle voice, wishing he could reach out and grab Chan’s dress shirt he’d hidden away in his socks drawer. The one the alpha left him at his wedding. Why go for a substitute when the real thing was just centimeters away, a small voice in his head asked. “I’m naked,” he said self-consciously and sniffled. 

“Do you think you can go put something on? Please, Lix, find a pajama or something easy to put on. Something comfortable. You should be in bed, not on the floor. Can you do that? Please.” Chan was almost begging and Felix felt an intrinsic need to get up and get dressed, just from how distressed the alpha’s voice was. He was sure if he opened the door, he was going to be faced with a wall of anxious scent. 

“Yeah,” he affirmed quietly and got to his feet. He opened a drawer and pulled on a nice pair of pajamas with little doggies all over – which his husband hated: You’re not a child, Felix, this isn’t sexy. Well, he wasn’t trying to be sexy! He just wanted to sleep comfortably! 

Once he was done, he opened the door and found Chan already standing on his feet a meter from the entrance. His jaw was set and he took Felix in with a long glance-over. Felix had been right in expecting that his bodyguard was stinking up the place with worry, but he didn’t mind it. It felt nice to have at least someone in this godforsaken place be concerned about him. Felix stepped to the side and Chan entered the room slowly, his nose twitching. Felix wondered what it smelled like to the man; like another alpha’s spunk, like sex, like slick, like sweat. Disgusting. Felix felt shame wash over him and he squeezed the door handle harder, wondering if it wasn’t for the best to send Chan on his way. 

“Are you alright?” Chan asked quietly and Felix felt the dam break, slamming the door shut and bursting out crying again. “Hey, hey, Lixie, wait. What happened? Did he force himself on you again?” Felix nodded, then shook his head violently. He’d been in heat, his husband had been in a rut, consent was always dubious in these circumstances. He’d begged to be fucked at some point, he was certain. He wasn’t going to throw around useless accusations. His stomach growled again and Felix wrapped his arms around his middle, sliding to the floor, his legs unable to keep him upright any longer. He realised there could already be an embryo developing under his hands and he cried harder. Stupid post-heat, making him overly emotional. Stupid hormones! “Felix, Felix, look at me.” There were hands cupping his cheeks and lifting his head and instinctively, he nuzzled against the warmth. Chan was kneeling in front of him, he noted. “Did the bastard not take care of you at all?” the alpha growled suddenly and used one hand to move some of Felix’ hair out of his eyes. “I’ll pick you up and place you in the bed, are you okay with that?” 

Bed, bed sounded good. Good and warm and safe. Especially with Chan. He wanted the bed. Felix nodded and Chan placed his arms under his knees and at his back before swiftly getting up and walking the few meters to the bed. He placed Felix down gently and grabbed a blanket. His nose turned up and he pushed the blanket to the ground before grabbing another one from the foot of the bed and throwing it over Felix. 

“Warm?” Felix nodded as he curled up in a ball and wiped his tears with one sleeve. Chan sat down at the corner of the bed and Felix moved closer until his shins were resting against Chan’s thigh. Chan smiled slightly at that and reached out to comb his hair back again. “I got you.” Felix scented his wrist and Chan sighed. “Did he just leave you without any aftercare? No scenting, no food, no water.” He waved an arm around and Felix closed his eyes tightly, feeling embarrassed. “No, hey, love, this isn’t on you. It’s on him.” Chan growled a little at the end and Felix’s eyes opened again. He grabbed onto Chan’s hand and brought it to his chest, in a hug. Chan leaned closer and then his nose was against Felix’ cheek unexpectedly. 

Felix gasped and bared his neck, needing the comfort, wanting the warm breath against his skin. He felt the alpha hesitate but then his face was in Felix’ neck, one cheek rubbing gently against it. Felix closed his eyes again and moved his face down to rub his own cheek against Chan’s. The man huffed but nuzzled back and Felix felt his chest tighten. Chan was scenting him! He let out a quiet purr. It felt good, it felt great. The moment the thought passed through his head, Chan started pulling away and Felix gasped, eyes flying open. 

“No, please!” Chan blinked and gave him a tight smile. 

“I’m here,” Chan assured and reached out to squeeze Felix’ arm. “But I need to get you something to drink. And eat.” 

“Later please. Don’t go, please. Please,” Felix begged, tears pooling in his eyes again. He’d only just momentarily felt relaxation spread through his body, he didn't want that to go away. He needed the alpha to stay. Chan blinked and rubbed his arm up and down. 

“Felix, if there’s something going on and you need my help, you have to tell me,” Chan said quietly, looking at him so tenderly that Felix couldn’t take it anymore. 

“We didn’t use protection,” he whispered and looked away, unable to keep Chan’s gaze. “I could be –” He couldn't finish that sentence. His body started shaking again as if on command. “I don’t – I’m not – I–” 

“Shhh. Hey, Lixie, hey. Look at me.” Chan slid to the ground on his knees to put them at eye level and placed his free hand on Felix’ face, the other one still clutched tightly against Felix’ chest. “You don’t want a baby yet?” he whispered and Felix shook his head. He didn’t want a baby ever! Not with Doek-su. “Does he know?” Felix nodded and held in a sob. Chan clenched his teeth and his scent turned sour. Felix shook his head and Chan hissed, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, sorry, sweetheart. It’s just –” He didn’t finish his thought but he took a deep breath and rubbed his thumb over Felix’ cheek. “He can’t force you to be pregnant or have a child. This is something you can literally sue him over! And now even if you are pregnant, you should be able to decide if you want to keep it or not!” 

Not keep it? Not keep it! Felix jumped up in bed and Chan got to his feet in panic. Felix grabbed Chan’s muscled arms and looked him in the eyes, a manic grin spreading on his face. “That’s it! Oh, my God, Chan, you’re a genius.” He was going to blame the post-heat for his brain fog later, for not thinking of this sooner. “Please – you have to – at the pharmacy, they sell this – a post-heat pill. It works if you take it while in post-heat! And I am. In post-heat. I need it. Please Chan, you have to get it for me, please! I can’t go out without it possibly reaching him somehow but – but you can! Chan, please! And you can’t tell him! He can’t know, please Chan, please keep this a secret, please, he can’t –” 

“Okay, okay, calm down! Felix. I’ll get it and I won’t tell him.” 

“Thank you!” Felix threw his arms around the alpha and cried into his neck. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

“But in the meantime you will eat, alright? You can’t take it on an empty stomach anyway. I’ll bring you something to eat and then I’ll go, alright?” Felix nodded quickly, chest filled with hope.

Chan delivered a platter of cut up fruits, cheeses, nuts and olives, a bottle of water and a thermos of tea. He arrived back at the room suspiciously quickly and at Felix’ surprised look, he grinned. 

“I had Jisung start preparing a while ago. Luckily, when no fire is involved, he is very good at… food.”

“He just had to cut up things,” Felix pointed out and Chan nodded with a grin.

“And he’s great at that!” Felix giggled softly and took the platter on his legs. 

“Thank you,” he said, taking it in, his eyes lingering on the olives and filling with tears once again. Chan pet his hair lightly before leaving.

Later that night, after taking the pill, Felix felt nauseous – probably all in his head, it was impossible that he was feeling the pill working or whatever – but relieved.

—

Felix avoided his husband like the plague for the next few days. He didn’t want the man demanding more sex, he’d had his fill of sex for a long time. But most importantly, he was walking on needles, scared to hell and back that Doek-su would somehow find out about the post-heat pill. Chan had discarded of the package himself, and had assured him no one from the staff had seem him with it, so Felix didn’t worry about that. He worried that his own face was somehow going to betray him, or perhaps his husband was going to smell it on him, was going to deduce it – somehow.

They needed to talk, but Felix found it easier to ignore the issue and push that off. He wasn’t sure how Doek-su was going to take it, but he did need to sit him down and try again to make his hesitancy for children be known. Try to get his husband to respect his wishes and his body. He could still see Doek-su’s snarling face as he pulled at Felix’ hair and spat at him, “I’ll knot you when I want to,” and that image was enough to dissuade him from approaching the man. They had plenty of time before his next heat hit in three months. Felix would find the right moment. At some point. Hopefully.

“Felix!” Doek-su’s voice rang from outside the door and Felix flinched, gripping his pen tighter. Well, maybe the time to talk had come. Doek-su knocked again and Felix got up quickly, knowing better than to let the man wait. Although, this courtesy or knocking and waiting outside instead of waltzing in was already novel and he sounded in a good mood.

“Surprise!” Felix blinked a few times, needing a long moment to fully realise what he was seeing. His sisters were grinning at him, blocking the way into the hallway, and his parents’ heads were poking behind them, adorned with smiles too. Doek-su was leaning against the far wall of the corridor, only his slicked back hair visible over the gathering of people in front of him. Felix focused back on his family, unbelieving.

“But you guys said…” That they were too busy to make plans with him! He’d felt like he was at rock bottom, all alone in Korea for his birthday and also abandoned by his own family, too.

“It wouldn’t have been a surprise if we told you we’re coming. That’s not how it works,” Olivia said and finally stepped closer to hug him. Rachel was next, wrapping her arms around them both. Felix laughed and reached out to grab his mother’s hand. There were tears at his eyes and they weren’t just for seeing his family again after months without. They didn’t abandon him!

“We missed you, baby,” his mom said and leaned up to kiss his cheek. His sisters pulled away and started chattering about their stay, about Doek-su helping them come over without Felix’ knowledge for a surprise visit. He hummed and half-listened, his eyes meeting those of his husband’s. Doek-su was already staring back with a satisfied smile and winked once he had Felix’ attention. Felix gave him a genuine smile back, hope blooming in his chest.

Maybe, just maybe things were going to be fine. Maybe the heat hadn’t gone as well as Felix had wished but that didn’t have to be Doek-su’s fault necessarily; maybe he just needed to adjust to sharing a heat with an alpha partner and not his hands and toys only. Maybe Doek-su had been a bit too forceful with his desire for children but Felix could get into his shoes too – the man was in his forties, he wasn’t going to be virile and fertile for much longer, so he felt pressed by time. But Felix felt hopeful now, about his husband listening to him. He obviously cared, he’d flown Felix’ family over in a surprise visit as a gift for his birthday! Felix could just talk to him, outside of a heat or a rut, on a clear head, and explain how he felt too so that they arrived at an understanding. Things were going to be alright! 

“Okay, let’s find a place to sit down, yes? It was a long flight,” his dad interrupted his thoughts and his protective hand on Felix’ mom’s shoulder made Felix nod in agreement immediately.

“Yes, yes, of course. Let’s move to the living room. I’ll have some snacks brought up!” Everyone started moving and Felix stayed at the back, reaching out and touching Doek-su’s arm with a small smile. “Thank you,” he whispered and his husband shrugged.

“Anything for you, beautiful.” Felix smiled wider and the two of them joined the others. “I will now be leaving you, duty calls. And I’m sure you would like to spend some time as a family. I will see you at the birthday dinner.” Doek-su leaned down to kiss Felix and then took his goodbye with everyone. Felix held in a sigh at his swift departure; at least they were making progress.

They did sit around and talk for the rest of the day, having dinner in the dining room without Doek-su. His father asked after the man and Felix forced a smile, coming up with a lie about a work-related dinner Doek-su had scheduled weeks ago. 

The next day, his actual birth day, had been left empty in his agenda intentionally from the very beginning so Felix took advantage of that to treat his family to the spa. While they were waiting for the masseuses to arrive, he sat down next to his mom and turned the camera on them. “Hey, mom. Do you want to tell everyone what we’re doing today?” She chuckled, adjusting the towel wrapped around her head.

“We’re visiting the spa, so we’re getting a massage, a facial and a body scrub,” she listed and Felix nodded next to her.

“Except dad. He’s being a typical dad and will just wait and read after his massage,” Felix piped in with an eye roll. His mom waved her hand around.

“He’s never had patience for the finer things in life. Thank you, baby.” She grabbed his hand and leaned her head against his. Felix grinned and pointed the camera away. “I’m so proud of you, Felix. You’ve achieved so much and gotten so far, and you still find time to pour your efforts and money on us.” Felix nuzzled closer, squeezing her hand.

“Of course. You guys are everything to me,” he whispered back and she smiled, pulling away.

“Just wait until you have children. You’ll see then what it really is like for someone to be your everything.” Felix didn’t want to think about that now, so he just smiled back and pointed at where Rachel and Olivia were already claiming a massage table.

“Let’s go?”

Their mother wanted to nap before dinner and their father decided to join her and let the youngsters have their fun . Felix skipped over to the home theater after his sisters, Chan following a couple of steps behind. They’d just arrived at the mansion and the man was going to leave for the day. “If you decide you want to go out, just text me alright? I’ll be on stand-by, sir.” Felix nodded and Chan gave him a small smile before his eyes flickered briefly to his sisters. “Happy Birthday, by the way.” Felix smiled back and nodded again.

“Thank you. I might ask Jisung to help bake a cake tomorrow or so – we can all share?” Chan nodded and agreed before leaving. Felix walked over to where his sisters were sprawled out and realised they were quiet. Olivia cleared her throat.

“So, since you seem to be friendly with your bodyguard, are you going to give him Rachel’s number?”

“Olivia! What the fuck?” Rachel snapped and hit her sister in the stomach. Felix blinked.

“Wait, you want his number? He’s an alpha, too!” Rachel looked away, suddenly interested in her nails.

“I’m not saying I want to marry him, people can have fun without any big attachments,” she drawled and Felix blinked again, taken aback. 

“Ahm, yes, you have fun once and never stop talking about it,” Olivia said with a snort and Felix had to sit down on the carpet in front of them. What? Rachel hissed and hit her sister again. Felix’ hand shot out to stop her a tad too late.

“Wait, what? Rachel?”

“I had sex,” she admitted and bit her lip. She was trying to conceal a smile. 

“Wow, I leave for a few months and you immediately pounce! Wait, so you have a boyfriend?” And they hadn’t told him anything in their weekly calls! Felix was a little offended.

“You don’t need a boyfriend to have sex,” Rachel said.

“I mean, I wouldn’t suggest you give Chan her number if she did,” Olivia said and Felix sighed.

“You – neither of you – is sleeping with my bodyguard!” Olivia giggled and poked Rachel in the arm and Rachel was going to hit her again but this time Felix reacted on time. “Anyway, tell me more! Who was it?”

By the time dinner rolled around, Felix felt like he was back home. Sitting around gossiping with his sisters, watching an episode of Arcane – which they’d agreed they’d put on pause too so that the three of them could watch together whenever they met up – and then gathering around the table with the whole family, for a long and loud meal filled with stories and laughter. Felix loved it. Doek-su was also there, the only odd part to the puzzle, but he wasn’t a very active participant in the conversations about Australia or the movie Felix’ mom had watched recently.

“And you, Doek-su, how is work going? You seem extremely busy,” his dad said at some point, to draw the man into the dialogue. Felix put down his fork, interested and hopeful. 

“Ah yes, well, it’s a multi-billion company with legs all over the world. It doesn’t run itself,” Doek-su boasted and took a sip from his wine. “We just made a deal the other day actually with the Saudi prince.” He plunged into a long explanation, which Felix zoned out of despite how much he wanted to keep engaged. His parents seemed mildly interested in the topic however, so he counted that as a success. Felix tuned back in a few minutes later to realise the subject had changed. “I hope they’re treating you well there! Otherwise, I’ll just cut their funding!” He laughed and Felix put two and two together; the topic was his mother’s hospital. 

His father was letting out a chuckle and his sisters were giggling too, and he knew Olivia was just loving Doek-su. Felix didn’t really appreciate the joke. It just reminded him that he couldn’t take care of his mother on his own and needed a strong, rich alpha to do it for him. He was glad his family was having a good time, however, so he put on a smile as well.

—

Doek-su was once again away on a business trip, and Felix wondered if he ever even spent time in his own home for more than three consecutive days. Felix didn’t mind too much, he had plenty to keep him occupied. And in the absence of other company, he found himself spending more and more time with his budding friends from the staff, which he felt rather happy about.

Like right now. Felix was lounging on the large couch in the living area, working on his homework – because he had actual homework now, university had started a few weeks ago, and while he only attended online classes and was spared interaction, he was sadly not spared assignments – and Jisung was sprawled on the opposite end, his own laptop on his stomach as he also studied. He was still a university student too, following a Master in Arts and Culture, and once Felix found out, he couldn’t not arrange study dates. Jeongin had joined them too, relaxing quietly with a game on his phone. It was peaceful and it made Felix feel like things were normal.

Seungmin also decided to be part of the study session at some point, going over to Jeongin and sitting on top of him, the other man’s phone trapped under his ass. Jeongin made a protesting sound and talked fast in Korean, Seungmin replying back with a mischievous grin, and the two started play-fighting. Felix looked at Jisung who shrugged without lifting his gaze from his laptop screen. “It’s not even worth translating,” the man said and Felix huffed. Maybe it wasn’t, but Felix still would have preferred to be in on the jokes. “Gah, I hate this course.” Jeongin said something and Jisung laughed. “Fuck off!” He replied in Korean before facing Felix. “He just thinks I should drop out. I’ve told you – ” Jisung went back to Korean and Felix bit his lip. 

“Changbin says…” Seungmin started but then switched languages and Felix had to fight not to sigh. Jisung thankfully translated that part.

“He said Changbin told him I cry at night because of uni. But that’s not true! And Changbin is a little shit that talks too much. Since when are you two so close, huh?” He repeated his question in Korean too and Felix chuckled lowly. “Oh! By the way, maybe next time we can invite him and Chan to our study session?”

“Are they also studying?” Felix asked and Jeongin made a noise in the back of his throat, looking down. He still had a lap full of Seungmin, Felix noted absently, as Jisung replied.

“Uh, no. But we can just hang out with them too. Jeongin wasn’t studying either – because his head is empty!” Jisung yelled the last part and Jeongin’s head snapped up. Seungmin seemed a bit more confused but got the gist from Jeongin’s offended face and started laughing. Felix giggled and moved the laptop away from his lap; they were obviously taking a break at that point.

“Of course, we can hang out.” Felix cleared his throat. “Are you guys very close?”

“Oh yeah, Chan and Changbin and me – we’ve been best buds for so long now! What is it, eight years? Wow. We actually get together sometimes to work on some music.” Felix’ eyebrows went up and Jisung sheepishly nodded. “Yeah, we release some stuff together. Nothing big, but we enjoy it. Though the two of them don’t find much time for it.” Because they had to be at Felix’ beck and call, as Doek-su said it, 24/7. Felix nodded slowly.

“That’s nice. I’d love to hear it, if you’d let me?”

“Hell yeah. I’ll get Changbin to bring my headphones over since he’s got nothing better to do than be an annoying gossiper! I won’t let you listen to our music on your busted speakers!” Felix laughed and Jisung took out his phone, presumably to text the alpha. Felix glanced at Seungmin and Jeongin, who were now talking in whispers as they looked at something on Seungmin’s phone. Felix nodded at them.

“And what about these two? Also known them for a while?”

“Since I started working here,” Jisung answered and grinned. “But no one is as tightly knit as these two idiots. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they’re dating already!”

“I’m right here,” Seungmin deadpanned with a glare at Jisung and Jisung gasped, pointing at the man.

“Ah, what is this witchery! Since when do you know English!?” Felix laughed hard as Jeongin started talking fast in Korean, grinning all the while. Jisung laughed at Seungmin’s betrayed face as he turned around to hit Jeongin. Some parts of the conversation were definitely lost on Felix and in moments like these, he really wished he understood the language and had grit his teeth and went through with the lessons.

Felix was starting to hate the language barrier also when it came to his frequent Dance!Dance! visits. They were dancing, learning a new choreography that Hyunjin was going to use on the big stage just next month, until Felix fucked up the footing and found himself on his ass. Hyunjin squatted by him, panting, with a raised eyebrow. “I’m good,” Felix assured but rubbed his behind. Minho came close and started talking in Korean, making a movement with his legs as he did so, clearly explaining what Felix had to change. Felix looked up as Chan approached.

“You’re too forceful on the kick. It throws you off balance so you can’t land properly. He showed you the exact movement you should be doing,” Chan explained and gestured to Minho, who patted his thigh to grab Felix’ attention and jumped again in demonstration. Felix nodded slowly. “Also, you should try to keep your arms closer to your body and use them to further keep yourself steady. It makes the movement seem more controlled, too.” Minho said – asked – something suddenly, looking straight at Chan, and Felix turned to take in his narrowed eyes. Chan replied in Korean and Felix looked at him with expectation. His bodyguard smiled. “It’s nothing.”

He listened to the advice and got the jump correctly from the second try. They continued dancing until they physically couldn’t move any longer and then flopped down on the floor for a break. Hyunjin’s arm hit Minho’s chest and the shorter alpha pushed it away, hitting him back. He said something that even Felix could tell was a threat, and Hyunjin laughed but moved further away. The reminded him of his friends back in the mansion. Felix’ eyes widened as he got an idea.

“Oh yes, guys! What do you think about meeting my other friends? I think you might like them. Maybe I can bring them over next time, introduce you to each other!” Chan repeated his words and Hyunjin and Minho shared a look. Hyunjin shrugged first.

“Okay, why no.” Minho pursed his lips but nodded in the end, and Felix grinned happily.

The next time he went dancing, just three days later, Jisung and Changbin walked into the studio alongside him and Chan. The other two alphas had responsibilities in the mansion, but Felix was going to drag them along soon as well. Changbin had already been in once, the very second time Felix had visited Dance!Dance! when he’d taken longer than Chan had communicated to the driver and the bodyguard hadn’t picked up his phone, so Changbin had stormed in, face full of worry. Felix only formally introduced him to his dancing partners now, together with Jisung.

The three watched the dance practice, Jisung at times playfully getting up and attempting to join. In the breaks, there was double the bickering and Chan stood by him to rapidly translate and also throw in jabs of his own, mainly targeted at his two close friends. Felix found himself laughing a lot. At Changbin’s obvious no-need-for-translation flirtations aimed at Hyunjin, who seemed like he couldn’t care less, at Jisung’s jokes and offended face when no one laughed, at Chan switching languages and messing it up, talking to Felix in Korean and to the others in English. They all talked to him, pulling him into multiple conversations at once and seemed to get along fine – even if Minho stared Jisung down the whole time – and Felix was just so happy. He had friends! 

—

It wasn’t all fun and games, of course. Apart from university work – which was a lot, split between the two Masters he was following – Felix was starting to get deeper and deeper into the tasks of the director of Choi Inc.’ charity fundraiser. They were currently in collaboration with UNICEF, an organization they seemed to work with often.

“The current campaign we’re raising money for is Laos. More drinkable water and more schooling of young children.” Felix nodded, taking a few notes. 

“So once the campaign is over, how do you oversee what happens with the money?”

“There’s a direct bank transfer. We do keep up with their documentation on spending afterwards, of course, but UNICEF is a trustworthy organization that does in fact use the money as advertised.” While Felix didn’t doubt that, he had something else in mind.

“Does that mean that you never actually go on-site? See what it’s like over there, what improvements are being implemented and built with our donations?” The woman shook her head and clicked away on her computer, turning the screen towards him again to play a video.

“Not specifically me. But we do send teams occasionally to film ads. It’s a great market campaign for every following charity we work on,” she explained as Felix watched the footage of children playing around in a classroom and taking notes.

“Maybe we should actually visit? Do some volunteer work. Further boost interest and raise awareness of the cause. I’d really love to go there and try to see and tell their actual story, instead of throwing money at them from across the border.” The woman stared at him for a long time and Felix wondered if he said something wrong. He knew from his own experience that people were going to be more likely to donate and become invested if they saw an example, if they were explicitly shown the problem. Felix had known of UNICEF’s existence, obviously, but until now had never really thought much about how they worked and what they tried to fix. He knew now and the more he learned the more he ached to help. Felix had a platform – he could use it to spread the word.

“Right, that’s something to discuss in the board meeting, for sure.”

The fundraiser work Felix did gladly and with great satisfaction. The galas he had to attend as Doek-su’s plus one, on the other hand, were less pleasant to go through. He had to fly over to Japan, to join his husband and present a united front at one such gala. It was the first time they spent together in what was weeks now and it was work-related and in another country. Felix zoned out for the majority of it, not understanding the languages spoken around him and not specifically addressed by anyone. 

Doek-su spoke to this person and that person, and Felix sipped from his wine humming a song under his breath. Chan gave him a surprised look, his head tilting sideways in confusion, looking like he was doing graduate-level math. Felix chuckled and shrugged. Some of the songs Jisung had shared were quite catchy. Felix enjoyed them a lot and played them frequently while studying.

When they finally made it back to their hotel room, Felix realised that was the first time they’d been alone in a while – and the perfect opportunity to have a talk with his husband. Doek-su insisted on sex, however, so Felix patiently waited for that to be over before he brought up the topic. He hoped his husband was going to be in a good and talkative mood after… climaxing. Felix himself didn’t finish, but that wasn’t really out of the ordinary; his apparently low libido and the nerves around the upcoming conversation kept his dick soft the whole time.

Once done cleaning up, Felix walked back into Doek-su’s bedroom and the alpha raised an eyebrow, looking away from his phone. He was still shirtless, but with pajama pants, lying on top of the tidy bed. “Hey, uh. I was wondering if we could talk… About uh, about what we also briefly talked about before. About kids.”

“Felix, beautiful! Are you pregnant?” Doek-su exclaimed, his attention now fully on Felix, eyes wide. He put away the phone and sat up in bed. Felix shook his head immediately and his husband’s face fell. Felix almost whined at the dejected reaction and the disappointed sigh that followed. 

“I, uh, don’t feel different and it’s been two months so I, well, I think I would have known by now,” he tried to explain, feeling scared about Doek-su finding out about the pill all over again. Doek-su shook his head.

“There’s always next time,” he muttered and Felix bit his lip.

“You – you really want children,” the omega said quietly, just a statement. Doek-su met his eyes again.

“Well of course. I need to leave this company to someone, no?” He was grinning as if it was a joke but Felix didn’t find it that funny. Was that the only reason? Doek-su sighed. “Baby, come here. Of course I want kids. I have for a long time.” Felix sat down on the bed next to him, holding his gaze still. “And I grew up as a single kid. It was a very… empty childhood. So we’ll have multiple. Who knows, you’re young. Five – six?” Felix blinked, surprised. He also wanted a big family, as one of three siblings, but six children!? That was a lot! Doek-su grinned and leaned closer to kiss him. “I want to keep you pregnant at all times. Full of my kids.”

Felix drew away, his heart hammering in his chest. “Well! That’s what I wanted to talk about, actually. I really don’t think I am ready for children yet, Doek-su,” he said fast, just to get it out before he changed his mind. His husband looked at him again, his stare empty and Felix fidgeted under the weight of his eyes. 

“Felix, not again…” Felix whined out loud this time.

“Doek-su, please, hear me out. I’m –”

“Felix, how many times do I have to say this? I’m not getting any younger. I want a few children running around, and I want to watch them grow up. That’s not going to happen if we wait a decade for you to feel ready. Do you ever think about that? About your children needing a father that isn’t in diapers like them?” Felix cringed and had to admit Doek-su had a point there.

“Yes, I understand that, I want them to have a father – of course. I’m not saying we have to wait a decade! I meant more like, I don’t know, a year –”

“A year?” Doek-su laughed and his scent was getting more and more unbearable. Felix scooted further away while his husband wasn’t paying attention, holding back a cough. “This is unbelievable, Felix. I’m your husband, your alpha. If I want a child, you as my omega, should be more than happy to give me one! Multiple, even. Are you trying to say I’m not good enough? That I don’t deserve my omega to do the one thing I ask of him? After everything I’ve done for him? Everything I give him!”

Felix shook his head. The conversation was derailing fast. “No, no, no! It’s not about this. Of course, you deserve to have a child. I can see you really want one, so I’m sure you’ll be a great father but –”

“But? But!? But you’re too good to give me one, is that it?” Felix couldn’t understand where Doek-su even found those things to bring up.

“No! I just – I feel too young and unprepared to –”

“How long have you been having heats for? Six – seven years? You’ve been ready and prepared to be pumping out kids for that whole time, Felix! You should have heard yourself beg to be bred during your heat. Don’t give me those lies,” Doek-su spat out and Felix stared back, mouth open. His husband stepped closer and patted his cheek. He leaned in and Felix shuddered when his breath hit his face. “Stop whining and recognise the position you’re in. You have everything you can ask for because of me. I ask for only one thing in return. You better provide it or else.”

Doek-su pushed his face away and picked up his phone. He seemed intent on ignoring Felix’ presence, so Felix got up slowly and started making his way to the other bedroom. He held in tears as he quietly slipped away from the room and closed the door behind himself. Fuck hope and fuck the possibility of a normal relationship with a husband that respected his body. 

In an attempt to cheer himself up and avoid ugly crying, Felix logged onto Instagram for some mindless scrolling. Curiosity got the best of him, and he looked at the comments left behind on the picture of him and Doek-su in their gala costumes. His followers thought they were beautiful, fancy, a power couple. That Felix was lucky, living the life. Felix threw his phone on the bed and let his head rest against his knees. If only.

Chapter Text

Felix fell head-first into keeping busy and distracting himself from his marriage. He’d always chuckled when reading the news of celebrities getting married and then divorcing literally days or weeks later, wondering how could a relationship turn so bad so quickly, but now that he was going through it himself, he sympathised a lot more. He didn’t want to sound dramatic and knew he couldn’t compare to all the domestic abuse cases he read about online, but his husband’s lack of regard for his body autonomy and his otherwise insistence on ignoring Felix if not for sharing his bed, were… Making Felix unhappy. The only way to avoid getting lost into his depressing thoughts and to forget how unloved and cornered he was in his own home, was to work.

He worked on his master thesis – and his supervisor was finally happy with the progress he was making. He worked on his second degree, taking the course work a lot more seriously than he had for the first one. He worked on organising Choi Inc.’ fundraiser annual winter gala, where he was going to be announced the new director. He worked on his vlogs, putting in effort into redesigning many parts of his socials, now that he had access to all editing software he could ever wish to work with. He worked on dancing, spending longer and longer hours in the studio, trying not to feel like his one true passion was going to be taken away from him soon by a large belly and baby cries. He worked on maintaining the few friendships he had managed to spark in Seoul – and that didn’t really count as work, really. The only time Felix found himself really smiling, feeling like a normal human being and not thinking about the negatives in life, was when he was with his friends.

His next heat hit him as a surprise just like last time, even though Felix knew how an omega’s body worked and knew to expect it every three months. He’d been dreading it, however; one of the biggest things he’d been trying to keep off his mind by being busy. Well, he couldn’t not think about it anymore, and the night before it fully hit, he had trouble getting to sleep, knowing what awaited him come morning.

When Felix woke up, the scents in the room washed over him like a deja vu. Even in his heat muddled brain, he knew what he was going to find once he opened his eyes – who, more like – and he delayed the inevitable for a few moments until he heard a sigh. Doek-su could probably tell he was awake. Felix’s eyes fluttered open slowly and fell on his husband’s figure. He was sitting at his desk chair, rolled next to the bed, and staring at him not too happily. 

“You reek of your bodyguard. Again.” Felix opened his mouth and Doek-su waved him off. “Yeah, he brought you here. I know that. Do you know how I know? That little whelp thought he can tell me – me – how to breed my omega. Him? He can’t even pop a knot!” Doek-su laughed but Felix’ heart was in his throat. He couldn’t breathe, fear paralysing him. What had Chan told his husband? He – wouldn’t have told him about – he promised – Chan promised he wouldn’t – “Did you find last time unsatisfactory, Felix?” Doek-su hissed, pulling him away from his thoughts and also physically away from the warmth of the bed, suddenly grabbing Felix’ arm to drag him closer. “Huh? Did I not offer you meals full of protein and fats and carbs every day, huh? Did I not knot you until you were creaming yourself like a whore, huh? Answer me!” He yelled in Felix’ face in the end and Felix flinched back.

“You did!” he snapped, feeling cornered. The scent of angry alpha – angry at him – was overpowering his senses and making him lightheaded. 

“Then pray tell me, why have you gone around complaining to the staff about your private time with me? What, were you sad I didn’t stick around for cuddles?” He was mocking Felix, looking mad, and Felix shook his head, feeling himself tear up. It was the first day of his heat, he was sweaty and overheating, there was pain in his nether regions and he was in dire need of an alpha and a cock, and yet sex with his husband was the last thing on his mind, the last thing he wished to do. 

“No! No. I’m sorry, I won’t complain anymore! I’m so sorry. Please, Doek-su, I’m sorry,” he rambled, his whole body shaking in pain and fear.

“You better not! Now go shower. You smell disgusting.”

It was another awful experience, another heat Felix spent crying and begging for physical affection and then regretting it when it inevitably turned into sex. Doek-su was more possessive than the previous time. More aggressive, rougher, leaving marks – “So no alpha will think twice about who you belong to.” – and force-feeding Felix tteok-bokki, which Felix usually loved but now felt like throwing up immediately after consuming.

He woke up alone afterwards, again, feeling empty and numb. His whole body ached and he could see fingerprints and love bites all over his skin around his hips and thighs. It was a reminder of who he belonged to. Felix let himself tear up, his hormonal post-heat body unable to take all the emotions that brewed in his chest. He didn’t want to belong to his husband. The only thing he wanted in that moment – and he felt so silly for even thinking it when there were much bigger problems in the world – was to not have to cry and beg for hours before his partner fucked him out of his heat. To have him stay afterwards.

Felix reached for his phone on the nightstand and brought it with him under the blanket. I’m awake, he texted Chan, barely seeing the screen through his tears. He hesitated with his next text, embarrassed about having to ask again and also a little scared – was the alpha going to approach Doek-su again? Maybe reaching out to him was a bad idea. Before he could type again, Chan sent back Coming.

Just ten minutes later, Chan showed up with a platter of various foods, a water bottle and a pill. Felix had just managed to get himself together to look as presentable as he could while still half naked, disheveled and covered in bodily juices, but at the sight of the smiling alpha and all items he had brought unprompted, his lip trembled and he teared up anew. He hadn’t even specifically requested for Chan to buy him a pill again. All the admittedly little anger he’d felt towards the bodyguard for talking to his husband dissipated. Felix curled up tighter around a pillow.

“Could you – please…” Chan knew what he meant without any further words. He licked his lips and looked back towards the door while running a hand through his curly hair. “Please,” Felix added and Chan sighed, toeing off his shoes and climbing onto the bed. He moved to sit behind Felix, spooning him without getting under the blanket. Felix scooted backwards as much as possible, pressing himself close. “Thank you,” he said quietly as Chan placed a hand on his arm and started rubbing gently.

“Always, Felix. I’m here for you, okay? Always.” Felix nodded slowly, starting to relax against the warm strong chest at his back, under the calming alpha scent of home. “That’s it. You’re doing so good,” he whispered into Felix’ ear and his breath tickled. Felix smiled instinctively and his chest rumbled in a happy purr. “You also gotta eat, though. Come on, at least the fruits, eh?” Felix reached out for the plate and picked a strawberry to place in his mouth. He looked over his shoulder and met Chan’s eyes. The alpha grinned at his look of expectation. “Good job, Lixie.” 

Felix preened and probably filled up the room with his pheromones and purrs but he felt content and that didn’t happen often, so he was allowed to enjoy it!

—

Christmas came around sooner than Felix had expected and it dawned on him that he’d already spent half a year in Korea. Time flied, he realised begrudgingly, in defeat. 

Doek-su wished to take Felix to another vacation, similar to their honeymoon, for the holiday, but Felix dreaded being cooped up in a rented house for days on end with his husband. “I was actually hoping we could fly my parents over again, spend it with them.” Doek-su gave him a look over his wine glass and Felix hurried to add, “I’m used to Christmas being a family affair. I would like it to continue this way.”

“Felix, baby, I know you’re used to being with your parents and sisters, but you’re an adult now. You’re married – you have a new family. I’m your family.” Felix looked away, unable to argue with that. Doek-su was indeed his husband and they were supposed to start a family of their own, but just the thought of it sat heavy in his stomach. 

“Yes – you are, of course,” he said slowly, to appease his husband. “I just… I think I would like to spend as much time as possible with my other family too. You know, before I’m too busy with, uh, children and a bigger role in the company.” 

“Well, you know, you’d also be too busy to spend quality time with your alpha then. Why not do it now?” Felix swallowed and nodded before looking away. There was just no arguing with a salesman, he always knew how to counter. A new idea came to him.

“Well, yes, but we live together. I see you all the time. While my family – I really miss them, it’s been a couple of months now, since I last saw them –”

“Oh, have you grown tired of me already, Felix?” Doek-su asked and there was a dangerous glint in his eyes that had Felix shaking his head furiously.

“Of course not! I just – I think – I would really rather spend Christmas –”

“So you prefer them over me, is that what you’re saying?” Felix blinked.

“What?”

“I provide you with everything, I allow you to continue with your silly videos and dances, I offer you exotic places and opportunities, and you?” Felix’ mouth slowly fell open. Silly? Doek-su snorted and shook his head. “You still are ready to turn up your nose at all that and leave me to spend such a beautiful family holiday alone, so that you can – what? Suckle at your mom’s tits?” Felix flinches backwards as if hit and then there was silence.

Where had all that even come from? His vlogs and dancing were not silly! Felix felt anger burn in his stomach at the way his husband dismissed the most important parts of his life so easily. The ugly way he jabbed at his relationship with his family for the sake of hurting him. Felix’ lips mouthed soundlessly, his mind finding it hard to produce a coherent thought that both chastised Doek-su for his vile words and didn’t get him angrier. In the end, he had nothing to say but his husband spoke again after a long silence.

“I’m sorry, Felix, that was crossing a line. I just – Christmas is important to me as well. A family holiday, that I would have liked to spend with my family. Which is you. Not be told that my omega doesn’t want me to be part of it.” Felix shook his head slowly.

“I never even said that… I meant that I want my family to join us in celebrating,” he whispered, not trusting his voice. Doek-su apologised. He seemed to have misunderstood the situation. Felix wondered if he could believe that, if he could forgive that. Silly – what he did was not silly.

“Oh, beautiful, you should have said that from the start!” Doek-su laughed and got up to come closer. Felix eyed him warily, but couldn’t detect any deceit in his scent. His husband smelled relieved and Felix licked his lips. Perhaps it really had been a misunderstanding. Doek-su brushed his thumb against Felix’ cheek and pulled him into a kiss. “I’ll invite my mother as well. We’ll have a proper family celebration.”

In the end, it really was a family affair and Felix could breathe more easily with his parents and sisters under the same roof for a few days. Doek-su made himself scarce for all activities Felix planned with his family – Koreans didn’t take days off for the holiday, it turned out, and Doek-su didn’t take days off, period – and Felix was more than happy with the fact. He filmed a Christmas vlog with his mother as the guest of honor, capturing their attempt at ice skating and showing off the beautiful decorations around the house. Olivia had a cameo too and Felix’ eyes rolled back into his head. In the past, she’d stubbornly refused to be part of his videos, claiming it was going to be embarrassing to show up in her class after posting herself on YouTube. Now that he had a sizable audience, she was more than happy to be seen. She was trying to become an influencer, Rachel tattled, and marveled at the exposure Felix got her. Felix had to roll his eyes again and made Olivia swear she would get his green light for any old pictures she wanted to post. Teenagers…

Christmas dinner itself was a bit of a mess, but Felix shouldn’t have expected more given his mother-in-law’s freely running mouth. Mrs. Choi started with the insensitive questions way before they sat down at the table, too. She cornered him in the living room, merely ten minutes after arriving at the mansion. 

“You’re still not pregnant,” she commented and gave him a tight, displeased look. Felix fought the urge to cower. She couldn’t know, there was no way for her to find out. It was going to be fine. 

“Well, I just had a heat two weeks ago,” he said quietly with a forced chuckle. “It’s possible!” It really wasn’t, but she couldn’t – she just could not – know that. Her eyes narrowed and she gave Felix a one-over.

“We’ll see. You should better hope you are not barren, Felix.” Felix swallowed and watched the alpha walk away, her heels clicking against the marble on her way to the dining room where everyone else was already gathered. Felix let out a deep breath and followed her.

Dinner started off well. “The whole place is decorated so beautifully! Did you two decide on the colors and ornaments?” Felix’ mom asked, looking at both him and Doek-su. Felix smiled tightly – as if he’d ever be allowed to choose anything – and glanced at his husband, giving him the floor.

“Ah no, I hired designers for it. World-famous ones too. If I recall correctly, the woman has previously decorated the White House,” Doek-su said with a smirk and met Felix’ eyes. Felix tried to smile back. “I’m sure your decorations back in Sydney are something to behold too.”

“Oh, nothing of this calibre!” Felix’ dad said with a chuckle and Felix felt a pang in his chest. Next Christmas, he was going to shower his family with decorations in addition to presents. He had access to enormous wealth, and he was going to spend it on his family as he was supposed to! 

“Why did you move out of Korea in the first place?” Mrs. Choi cut in suddenly, her voice full of disapproval. Felix held in his breath.

“I went to Sydney to study and simply never moved back. Met this beautiful woman and couldn’t let her go,” his dad replied and touched his mom’s hand. Felix smiled at how sweet they still were to each other, even after twenty-five years of marriage. He longed to have what his parents had. 

“You’re a sap,” his mom said with a grin but her cheeks were getting red. “I was actually born in Australia. My parents immigrated.”

“You could have moved back,” Mrs. Choi said and shook her head. “Or at least taught your children the culture. They can’t even speak the language. That’s just a disgrace.” She seemed openly hostile now and Felix felt his anxiety bubbling up. Olivia and Rachel shared a look and he knew it was his responsibility to do something.

“Well, I’m here now. Learning about the culture.” He chuckled nervously and pointed towards the potato puree. “Wow, this is just delicious, right?” After a few more awkward and stunted conversations, majorly brought up by Mrs. Choi, dinner was over and Felix could finally flop down in bed and doze off within seconds. 

For New Year’s Eve, unfortunately, Felix could not talk himself out of Doek-su’s plans. There was a small private party, with only about thirty in attendance – because of course Doek-su’s colleagues had the same definition of “private” as he did – that Felix had to join as his husband’s plus one. Felix didn’t want to push his luck, and he was going to finally see Chan again after the alpha’s brief holiday break, so he just went along with it all. Not that he could spend any time with his bodyguard alone or really talk to him. But having the man in his sights whenever he searched for him and having his warm, strong presence close by was familiar and comforting. Felix hid a small smile into his glass of apple juice – as per Doek-su’s insistence – as he stared at Chan, who was currently talking to another guard across the room. He seemed in his element and Felix couldn’t wait to see him again on January 2nd for his usual schedule and finally get to catch up.

“Ah, you are Doek-su’s young, breathtaking omega, aren’t you?” Felix whipped around and took in an older alpha with a side smile. That was the other good thing about this party: it was rather international and for once Felix wasn’t forced to just sit by the wall on his own while everyone engaged in Korean conversation. 

“Choi Felix,” he introduced and held out his hand for a handshake. The man – an alpha and a mated one at that – chuckled and shook his hand.

“Pedro Caimmi, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Now that he had his name, Felix could connect the dots. It was the owner of a company very much akin to Choi Inc. but developed and run in Brazil. He wasn’t a direct competitor, but he wasn’t a very cooperative ally either, from what Felix knew. He was attending with his young beta daughter, who Felix had spent almost a full hour talking to before her migraine had her departing from the party. “Just apple juice? Is the Choi family finally expanding?”

Felix blinked, getting out of his thoughts and suddenly feeling at a loss. “Well… I mean, it’s not something we can be sure of so early –”

“Pedro, very nice to see you again. It’s been awhile, huh?” Doek-su cut in as he stepped closer and hooked his arm around Felix’ waist.

“It sure has! Last time we met, you weren’t married to such a beautiful man! My congratulations to you both,” the alpha said with another side grin and inclined his head. Felix smiled back, thanking him silently.

“Yes, he sure is the beauty of our pair,” Doek-su said and squeezed Felix’ side. “He does attract a lot of attention for it.”

“Ah, don’t misunderstand, friend. I was simply making small talk,” Pedro waved off and took a sip from his champagne. “Though I am not the only one in here wondering if there’s, uh, bread baking in the oven, as one can say.” He winked at Felix and Felix looked away awkwardly. He was very much not a fan of the casual discussion of his body that everyone seemed to think they were entitled to.

“That’s a matter you can leave to us to think about,” Doek-su said with a fake laugh. Felix knew it was fake, but he wasn’t sure everyone else did. “Besides you have a lot more to worry about with your own child, no? I noticed Al-Musrati is also gone from the crowd. I hope she won’t get caught red-handed again in some bathroom…” Felix’ eyes widened at the insinuation and he looked up at Doek-su’s self-satisfied face. Pedro himself looked stricken. “Such a shame – how far the apple’s fallen from the tree. Actually, was it even produced by that tree?”

“If you’d excuse me, I think I have some urgent matters to attend to. Please enjoy your evening. Felix.” The alpha bowed his head a little and hurried away. Felix was at a loss for words, so he didn’t manage to say goodbye back, just stared at his husband with a gaping mouth.

“Why did you do that?” he whispered dejected after what was almost a minute. Doek-su was still staring at the man’s back as he brought his phone to his ear at the corner of the room. “You – what you said wasn’t even true! She left because she was feeling ill.”

“Hitting where it really hurts is most effective when making sure everyone knows their place, Felix,” his husband said just as quietly and finally met his eyes. “Sometimes embellishing the truth works best.” Felix took a step back, unbelieving. Was that how his husband had gotten to the point he was at now? With threats and thinly veiled jabs and manipulations? “You’re part of the shark pool now, Felix, with your tie to me. You must learn to be more cutthroat with the competition.” Felix’ lip curled up but before he could do anything, his husband leaned in to kiss him. “Come on, baby, we should take a few pictures for the socials.”

—

In-between work and university, Felix found himself only ever at home or at his office at the company. And of course the dance studio, but with how happy dancing made him and how free he felt there with his two friends, he was willing to count that place as home too. It was getting old, always being confined within the same walls – or in the car taking him from one to the other – so the moment he was presented with a chance to get out, he took it. 

The Winter gala was coming up and Felix politely declined Doek-su’s offer to have something tailor-made for him, citing his desire to take a walk around a physical store for once. Doek-su only allowed it once Felix promised he’d have something tailor-made anyway just in case his other choice of clothing wasn’t up to par. Felix had to grit his teeth for the whole conversation but he had a reason to be out and about now, so it was worth it. 

“That one looks nice, no?” Felix asked, holding up a beautiful lacy shirt. They were at Louis Vuitton, only the second store Felix had considered, after the first one didn’t have anything that held his attention.

“It does,” Chan said with a small smile and nodded towards the changing rooms. “Maybe you should try them on now before Bin topples over.” Felix looked at Changbin who was standing a few paces to the side, arms full of clothes. Chan needed to be able to act quickly at all times and Felix wanted both of his hands to browse through the racks of clothing, so Changbin took the loss and acted as a human cart. Felix smiled sheepishly at his driver and agreed.

The clothes he’d chosen were clean-cut and in muted colors, in a style that he felt Doek-su would appreciate, but at the same time they all had a twist, something that made them unique and fit Felix’ style as well. He hoped his husband was going to relent and let him wear something of his choice to the gala. Felix put on the shirt he found last, and the beautiful suit jacket with the silver epaulettes. He liked the jewelry; he could already imagine the earrings he could match it with. If it was up to him, he would have also complimented it with his fake lip piercing and some sparkles on his face, maybe glitter, maybe gems. Felix held in a sigh, knowing Doek-su was probably just going to remind him of the company’s image and send him back to his room to take it off.

Walking out of the booth, he posed. “What do you think?” 

“Is good!” Changbin said with a thumbs up. Chan nodded and met his eyes.

“It looks great on you, sir,” he said and Felix had to look away, feeling himself flush. His eyes suddenly caught sight of elegant heeled boots and he gasped.

“Those shoes! Wait, I’ll be right back!” Felix took off and heard movement behind him, Chan always trailing right by his side, even he was going just a few meters away and was in a place where no harm could reach him. 

The moment the thought passed through his head, he suddenly found himself pressed against the wall, unable to breathe. Felix needed a couple of seconds to realise what was going on: there was a man, an alpha, standing in front of him, his hands wrapped around Felix’ throat and squeezing. He smelled angry and he was yelling in his face, looking like a man possessed. Felix whimpered and struggled to take in air, his fear escalating with every passing moment. 

And then the alpha was off him and Felix could take in a deep breath, chocking on it too. There was a hand on his back and Felix flinched, moving away and facing his attacker – it was just Changbin, looking distressed. He didn’t try to touch Felix again but Felix moved closer, showing him he wasn’t scared by the driver. He coughed while his eyes fell on the other two alphas. Chan slammed his attacker against the wall head-first and then pushed him roughly on the floor, jumping on top of him and capturing his arms in one hand before punching his face. Felix looked away.

Changbin said something, mentioned Chan’s name, but Felix didn’t understand. His bodyguard was looking up now, however, his eyes passing over Felix and falling on the store security guard that had finally reached the scene. There was a lot more talking that Felix could not comprehend and then some that he could – the acting managers of Louis Vuitton apologising profoundly and offering gifts. The attacker was taken away by the police and only then did Felix, flanked by Chan who pressed close and didn’t step away, go back to the car. The shopping trip was going to be cut short, but he did leave with the suit jacket wrapped nicely for him in a bag.

On the ride back, Felix felt shaken so he sat as close as possible to Chan without making it awkward. The alpha could sense his distress, because he was releasing calming pheromones the whole time, one hand rubbing soothing circles into the outside of his thigh. It helped.

“What did he say?” Felix asked eventually. “Why did he attack me?”

“Sir, there’s some bigoted people that –”

“Chan, please.” Chan sighed.

“He didn’t agree with you becoming director of the fundraiser soon,” the bodyguard said and Felix nodded. He noticed the two alphas exchanging a glance in the rear view mirror.

“Because I’m an omega?” Chan didn’t say anything but Felix could hear him gritting his teeth right next to his ear and knew he was correct. He slumped lower into the seat and closed his eyes. He had somehow, naively, not expected any backlash. He wondered if Doek-su knew, if his PR team had picked up on the leak of information and more importantly the people’s dissatisfaction with the news. Wondered if there was already a team working hard on making things right. His husband was going to find out after today, if he didn’t know already, and Felix hoped it wasn’t going to worsen the company’s image. Doek-su cared about it more than he cared about anything else, it seemed.

The moment they entered the mansion – Chan and Changbin still walking on both sides – Felix found himself enveloped in Jisung’s flowery scent and warm arms. “You okay? I heard you got attacked!” 

“I’m fine,” Felix assured him although he didn’t feel too confident in his answer. He wondered if Chan had texted the omega or if there were already news on the happenstance. 

“Ah! God, look at those bruises!” Jisung exclaimed and Felix’ hand flew up to touch his neck. He noticed Chan’s eyes flicker down to it too before looking away, his jaw set. “Poor Lixie. You know what! I think we need a nice, chill omegas’ night. What do you think?” Changbin huffed.

“Sure.”

“I guess it might be nice,” Felix said with a small smile. He’d used to have those relaxed evenings spent cocooned in blankets, drinking hot chocolate and cuddling while some movie played with his mother. With her in and out of the hospital, the frequency of these occasions lessened, and especially now that he was no longer in Australia, he missed them.

“I’ll leave you to it then. If you need me for anything, I’ll be in the gym, sir,” Chan said, sounding a little strained. Felix tried to meet his eyes but the man was looking away. Felix nodded and Chan was on his way out without further word. Felix frowned and opened his mouth but Jisung was already speaking.

“Okay, so! I was thinking we just chill in the leisure room? I can maybe braid your hair? And Changbin here gives great shoulder massages!” Jisung started walking in the direction of the leisure room and Felix followed with a chuckle. Changbin said something that made Jisung laugh and Felix only then realised that the alpha was still tagging along.

“Wait, why is Changbin coming?”

“Uh? What do you mean? It’s an omegas’ night,” Jisung said slowly, confused. Felix blinked and looked at Changbin who was no longer smiling. “Do you have something against – Wait did you – did you think –”

“I thought you’re an alpha!” Felix exclaimed and grabbed onto Changbin’s arm. “Look at these muscles!” It was generally almost impossible for an omega to become this buff; their body was a lot more prone to collecting fat than building muscle. Changbin giggled and flexed under his hand. He said something in Korean and Felix looked at Jisung immediately.

“He’s just being a self-satisfied prick right now,” Jisung waved off and then clapped Felix on the back, laughing. “Hah, you really thought he’s an alpha!” Felix shrugged as they continued on their way. Changbin still had no scent that he could pick up on, so all he had had to rely on were visuals. His lack of scent wasn’t being brought up by either of them, so Felix decided not to either, in case it was a touchy subject. He’d never felt uncomfortable in the presence of Changbin which he’d already appreciated a lot, but now he was even happier to be surrounded by more than one person of his own subgender.

The omegas’ night was a good idea, in the end. They painted nails, watched silly romance movies, and had dinner together, and Felix could barely even remember he’d been attacked earlier that day.

—

The fundraiser gala was beautiful, and Felix didn’t think so simply because he had a hand in organizing it. The venue was breathtaking, tall ceilings, grandiose chandeliers and golden ornaments all over. The flowers, hand-picked by Felix and his assistant, were all in full bloom and looking gorgeous, essentially plastered at every edge and corner of the hall. And of course the guests contributed to the overall image, all wearing expensive three-piece suits and elegant dresses in deep reds, blues, greens and black, hair done and biggest jewelry on.

Felix himself tried to blend in, of course. Although the Louis Vuitton jacket he’d bought hadn’t passed his husband’s vibe check, he didn’t mind the tailored clothes that had been decided for him. The black suit was beautiful. His long hair was slicked back with a few strands falling freely by his eyes. There was a dash of subtle but still noticeable makeup that complimented his complexion and features. He was proud of his look, and yet still felt like an outsider. 

He passed by a waiter and picked up a glass of champagne, giving the man a small smile. As he brought the drink to his lips, his eyes met those of a plump woman standing at a tall table. He watched her give him a one-over and make a face before turning to her companion. Felix pursed his lips, no longer feeling like drinking, and looked at Chan, who was as usual standing by his side, hands clasped together in front of his body. “Would you like a drink?”

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t – I’m working.”

Felix sighed. He’d arrived in high spirits, a speech fully memorised, elated to be officially picking up such an important, humanitarian position. Then Doek-su announced him as the new director of the fundraiser – and the disapproving stares started. He glanced back at the woman and found both her and her companion staring back at him. They looked away, but it was more than obvious to Felix that he was the topic of discussion. There had been a lot of mutterings since the announcement, most of which he couldn’t understand due to the language barrier. The investors were quite obviously unhappy. 

There was suddenly a body blocking his view and Felix raised his eyes to meet Chan’s. The bodyguard gave him a small smile. His scent was soft, cozy, comforting. “You don’t seem like one to care about the opinion of presumptuous, stuck-up oligarchs. Don’t fall for their bullshit now. Sir.”

“I don’t –” Felix stopped when Chan raised an eyebrow and then rolled his eyes, one corner of his eyes twitching up. He took a small sip from the champagne. “Alright. Well, if it was just any rich person with too many opinions, I’d agree with you. But… Those people support both the company and the fundraiser. I don’t want to get in the way of –”

“You won’t get in anyone’s way. People are always quick to judge when change happens,” Chan said quietly and shrugged. “You’ll prove yourself with time, Felix.” Felix nodded and took a deep breath. Chan was probably right. Felix would probably also be suspicious of the person handling the billions of wons poured into the fundraiser. He nodded again, more to himself than his bodyguard. 

“Excuse me, Mr. Choi?” 

Felix looked around. Was his husband around? He’d intentionally come to stand a bit to the side, overwhelmed after the announcement and his short speech and all the attention that had garnered him. Chan cleared his throat and drew his attention. The alpha glanced sideways briefly and Felix’ eyes followed his cue. There was a man – Mr. Parker, the head representative of UNICEF, Felix knew as he had read up on all in attendance – standing by them, looking straight at Felix with a small smile.

Oh! Felix was Mr. Choi now too!

“Ah, yes, yes that’s me!” Felix announced and then cringed. Mr. Parker’s smile widened a little and Felix felt himself flush. Mr. Parker was an omega, too, he realised suddenly and that gave him an extra boost of confidence. He cleared his throat and stepped closer. “Mr. Parker, it’s great to meet you!”

“Nice to make your acquaintance, too, Mr. Choi. I thought, given that now you are the head of Choi fundraising, I must introduce myself – and perhaps see what you think of the future of your relationship with UNICEF.” Felix blinked. He was ready for that! He had so many ideas that he’d been brainstorming on and discussing with the previous fundraiser director; one of which included him visiting Laos, where the current project they were raising money for was in. He glanced at Chan from the corner of his eye to catch the alpha smile briefly and then school his expression, looking away. Then Felix launched into talking.

The conversation was nice and made Felix feel like maybe there was hope for him doing well in the fundraiser. Mr. Parker seemed happy with him and he was planned to visit Laos in a couple of months’ time. Maybe, just maybe, he was going to make it all work! 

The elated feeling lasted exactly two hours until Felix was back in the limo on their way to the mansion, Doek-su sitting on his right, showing him an article covering the gala. The media was fast! The event had barely just ended and there were already pieces on his official appointment as director. The articles were just as… negative as the audience at the gala had been, and Felix found himself sinking lower and lower in his seat.

Rumor confirmed! Choi Doek-su, CEO of Choi Inc., has once again shown himself to be a progressive leader, appointing an omega for the position of fundraiser director – the first one in such a high position in the modern history of South Korea. Choi’s young husband, Choi Felix, is an omega, soft at heart, compassionate and kind by nature; all traits one would believe fitting of an organization aimed at charity and helping others. However, we must raise the question of whether Choi Felix is ready for this opportunity. YouTuber, still a student and, without any prejudice or sexism intended, still an omega, Choi Felix is perhaps not the most sui –

“Don’t worry about that,” Doek-su said suddenly and the phone was pulled out of Felix’ hands. Felix blinked and furrowed his eyebrows. Well, that was for sure very sexist and prejudiced no matter if it was intended or not! “They’ve been on this topic for weeks now with the rumors spreading but they’ll quiet down. They’re like vultures, always waiting around for the most interesting and spicy story they can spin for clicks and reads. As long as they write about you, about us – that’s good. Any publicity is good publicity.” Felix sighed.

“What about your investors? Your colleagues? The executive board looked unhappy that you made it official.”

“They’re aware Park will retain an important position within the company as your advisor, so they are willing to give you a shot. Don’t worry about their reactions, just make sure you don’t do something to prove them right.” Felix frowned and started playing with his fingers in his lap. That wasn’t exactly encouraging. Wait – Park –

“Wait, I thought Park is only showing me the ropes until I am the official director?”

“It’s been decided that he’ll stay longer. Make sure your initiation is smooth and you can fully integrate with the help of an experienced man. It’s for your own good, Felix. So you don’t get overwhelmed from the start, and can have someone to bounce ideas off of. I’d never let you just jump into the deep end.” Felix opened his mouth and then closed it. He’d thought that was why he’d been trailing behind Park for months now, learning the details of his job. His husband did have a point, however, and that did make the investors happy, so Felix supposed he had to be grateful for that decision.

“Alright. You’re right. Thank you,” he said with a tight smile and Doek-su grinned, giving him a long look.

“Anything for my beautiful wife.” Felix held back from making a face and opened his mouth but Doek-su spoke over him. “I’d like you to join me in my room tonight.” Felix swallowed.

The following morning, Felix was up and preparing for the dancing studio within minutes of opening his eyes. He needed to do something that he knew he excelled at, that he had control over and felt in his element in. He needed to feel good. 

He expected to see only Chan waiting for him by the car, given that he texted his bodyguard and no one else (and it was an early hour), but he found the alpha chattering with Jeongin and Changbin. It was a surprise, but a pleasant one and Felix found it easier to talk and smile after ten minutes stuck in the car with the trio bickering.

“Ooh, you bring eye candy,” Hyunjin said in accented English and gave Jeongin a look that had the young boy flushing deep red and grinning shyly. Felix laughed as Changbin flexed his muscles next to Jeongin. He said something that had Hyunjin rolling his eyes and Chan shook his head instead of translating.

“Dancing or what?” Minho snapped then and Felix pulled on Hyunjin’s shirt to drag him towards the dance floor. 

Yeah, dancing – and his friends – did work wonders for his mental state.

Chapter Text

For Valentine’s day, Felix had the opportunity to make another travel vlog from the Maldives. They were getting more and more frequent, these vlogs of him going places and showing them to his followers. These types of videos were essentially the only ones nowadays that still carried the spirit of his channel – besides the dancing ones – so he did appreciate them and tried to enjoy working on them as much as possible.

“And lastly, this is the wine cellar,” Doek-su said, spreading his arms and giving the camera a proud look. “Some of these babies are actually more than a thousand years old. Easily, my favourite room in this place even though I’m more of a strong liquor kind of a man. Frankly, this is just a beautiful mansion overall. I’d have bought it already if the Maldives weren’t so disorganised and densely-populated.” Felix frowned; he was going to cut that away from the footage.

“And that was it!” he announced, moving so that he was standing in front of the camera as well, next to his husband. Felix grinned. “That’s what the house looks like! And now we can also take a look at what’s outside!” He turned to Doek-su while stopping the footage. “Would you also join for the city?”

“Wasn’t this enough?” his husband asked, checking his watch. Felix’ shoulders slumped; the house tour had taken twenty-seven minutes. “Baby, you know how busy work is. I have a meeting in five. I can’t.” He leaned in for a kiss and gave Felix a wink. “I’ll see you in the evening, yeah?” Felix nodded and followed after his husband up the stairs. “Ah, by the way. Don’t waste your time too much. Just because we changed locations, doesn’t mean you should be slacking. You’re the official director of the fundraiser, you have duties.”

Felix faltered in his steps. “But we’re on a vacation…”

“Yeah, but do you see me lazing around? We can’t just take a break, Felix. Not in our line of work,” Doek-su reminded and Felix nodded, feeling chastised. “Don’t give me that look, beautiful. You’re prettier when you smile.”

“Filming the city is part of vlogging,” Felix said suddenly as they walked into the spacious living room. Felix loved the view from the gigantic floor-to-ceiling windows; vast beaches and ocean under a currently cloudy sky. “That’s part of working for me.” And it wasn’t silly.

“There’s different types of work,” his husband said and pulled him closer for another kiss. “In any case, don’t neglect your responsibilities. And don’t spend too long outside. It’s not going to be a good look to have you seen for long without me.” Then he could just tag along, Felix wanted to say, but stayed quiet. Just hummed in agreement and then Doek-su was gone. Felix was appointed a new bodyguard – which always happened for their excursions lasting more than four days, with Chan being allowed time off in those cases – and he was a silent companion that looked at him oddly, so Felix ended up spending very little time outside in the end and kept to the house for the majority of the holiday.

He treasured working on the travel vlogs but didn’t treasure the travels themselves. Felix took it upon himself as a challenge: how best to put together the video to make it seem like he was having the time of his life with his husband abroad, while also showing as much as possible of the destination despite his limited ability to traverse it. With Doek-su’s constraining schedule and the ban on longer time out, it really was a challenge to conjure up footage from the bread crumbs that Felix was left with.

His husband had insisted they spend Valentine’s day on a vacation. He insisted he treated Felix to something nice, showed him how much he enjoyed his omega’s presence and how much he cherished him – those were Doek-su’s exact words on the plane ride over, and Felix, stupid naive Felix, thought for a brief moment that the man meant it. As usual, Felix was disappointed when his husband spent the whole time holed up in the office of the beautiful mansion they’d rented and only ever came out for sex, and for that one dinner on February 14th. 

Felix shouldn’t have hoped for more, it was on him at this point. But this was his first real, long relationship and his first Valentine’s day with his husband. He’d really wanted, needed, more. There was no candle-lit dining on the terrace and late night walks on the beach, there was no loving touches and intimacy in bed, as they fell asleep intertwined after making love. There was just Doek-su.

It wasn’t as though anything particularly bad happened on the trip, but by the end of it, he felt an itch beneath his skin to go back to Korea. The SUV dropped Doek-su off at the company and drove Felix back to their home, after eight long days of being away. Felix ran up the stairs to the main door and stepped inside, trusting someone to bring his suitcases in. Chan was in the living room, waiting as he’d promised Felix on the phone, and the moment he caught sight of the alpha, Felix felt something in him relax.

Chan got up from the couch at the same time Felix crashed into him and brought him into a hug. Physical contact and affection from a person that cared. That was what he’d felt deprived of for the past week, he realised, as the bodyguard placed a hand on his lower back and one at the back of his head, pulling him closer. Felix couldn’t hold in a whine as he got surrounded by warmth and safety, and nuzzled their cheeks together. Chan chuckled after a few seconds. “I missed you too, sir.”

Felix pulled away, feeling a little embarrassed at his impulsive actions and smiled. “Yeah.”

“Did the trip go well? The vlog was great. That cocktail you tried looked really funky,” Chan said and Felix grinned wider.

“Yeah it was super tasty too! I don’t know why I never went for cocktails before – or well, they’re more expensive I guess. But I should drink them more often!” Felix flopped on the couch and Chan joined him, looking around briefly. 

“And… everything else was fine, too?” Chan asked, lowering his voice. “Choi didn’t do anything… stupid?” Felix turned to glimpse at the empty hallways, suddenly a little scared that someone could overhear. He cleared his throat and shook his head.

“So, what were you up to while I was gone?” He didn’t want to talk about his sad and lonely vacation. Chan gave him a look but allowed it.

“Ah, you know, this and that. My life’s rarely ever interesting,” the alpha said with a shy smile, looking down. His dimples were really big, and complimented his face so nicely. “I actually talked to the dojo owner – of the dojo I mentioned that one time.” Felix nodded. “He’s fine with you just visiting, trying out and checking if you like it. If you want to, that is.”

Felix bit his lip. “Yeah, thank you. I’ll think about it.”

He did think about it and in the end, a week later, Felix and Chan were traveling towards down town, where the dojo was located. Chan drove the usual SUV himself and Felix looked with interest at the parts of the city he’d never ventured into previously. 

The dojo looked sleek and well-kept from the outside and in. Felix stared open-mouthed at men and women fighting each other on a few rinks. There were also people standing next to punching bags, and it was obvious that the different rinks displayed different martial styles. The movements and punches all looked quite varied. Chan led him to a couple of rinks, stopping by and explaining some moves as the fighters performed them. Felix gasped as a woman brought another one to her stomach, slamming her head-first into the mat. Chan chuckled. “Yeah, it can get intense.”

“And she’s just okay?” Felix whispered as the alpha woman got up and tried to punch the other one. Chan nodded.

“One of the first things you learn is how to fall and take a hit such that you don’t break something,” he said and looked away suddenly, towards a man approaching. Felix turned too. It was an older alpha walking in their direction, some sort of equipment slung over his shoulder. Chan greeted the man in Korean and got a greeting in return. Felix looked away so he didn’t seem like he was eavesdropping but then his bodyguard gestured in his direction and he realised they were speaking about him.

The older alpha caught his gaze accidentally, and he was grinning, with a glint in his eyes. Not a dangerous one, it didn’t make Felix feel unsafe. He seemed to be teasing, and Felix looked at Chan’s face to watch him roll his eyes. Then Chan’s hand was on his shoulder, pulling him in some direction, leaving the other alpha behind. Felix glanced at him again and the older man waved at him with a small bow of his head. Felix waved back with a bow too and then turned to his bodyguard.

“Who was that?”

“The owner,” Chan said with a shake of his head, still smiling. “Alright well, this one’s empty. If you want, I can show you a few moves. You dictate what happens, okay? And if you’re not enjoying it, we can just leave.” Felix nodded and allowed Chan to help him onto the rink.

They put on some gloves and teeth guards, and then Chan was demonstrating. Felix tried to follow along, and he felt like he got the gist of the movements Chan showed – they were just like dancing – but he also found himself getting distracted. Chan was in one of his tighter tank tops, the muscular chest well-defined and bulking out, and his grey sweat pants leaving nothing to the imagination. Felix was red in the face the whole time he studied his bodyguard, studied him a bit more intensely than he should have, and had to take a water break just to clear his head.

He did manage to get into it at some point, repeatedly punching at Chan’s gloved hands and attempting a kick to the side too. The first time he did it, it took the alpha by surprise. Felix preened at the look on Chan’s face and didn’t hold back a smile. “Well, look at that.” Felix lifted his chin. “That’s a great one, good job.”

Felix liked it. He wanted to come again, and learn more. Especially if it was with Chan, and if he could see that look of admiration on the man’s face again.

—

Felix was busy all the time and whenever he could afford a break, he mainly spent it with his friends, but every once in a while it happened that he had a couple of hours to spare and an empty social battery, and he tended to recharge with a TV show in the theater room on his own. On his way there, he passed by the hallway leading to the kitchens and one sniff had him taking a step back and peeking in. Seungmin had obviously been leaning against the wall, but straightened up, slipping his phone into his pocket and facing Felix. He reeked of angry and distressed alpha and Felix would have run off quickly if it was someone unfamiliar, but it was Seungmin. Maybe he needed a friend.

“Hey, I was going to watch Brooklyn Nine Nine. Do you want to join?” He pointed towards the theater door in case that helped. Seungmin looked at him for a long time and sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“I have work,” he said in accented English and Felix bit his lip, shrugging lightly.

“Just a couple of episodes. A small break, yeah?” Seungmin relented in the end and trailed after him, still spreading his displeased pheromones all over. They watched episode one in silence, lounging on two comfortable armchairs at the very front. Once it was over, Felix paused and turned to his friend, who was checking his phone, looking tense. Felix cleared his throat. “Is everything okay?” he asked and Seungmin glanced at him briefly, before sinking lower into the chair with a sigh. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“How?” the man asked dryly and huffed. Felix felt guilty at that; he could have been a much bigger help to his friends if they spoke the same language. He hated that. Felix took out his phone and opened Google Translate. 

Please tell me about it , he typed in and passed the phone to Seungmin. The alpha read the translation and looked up at Felix again, as if gauging if he was making a joke. Felix smiled at him in encouragement and Seungmin deleted the words so he could start typing his own. Felix chipped at his nail and leaned in to look over his friend’s shoulder as he entered characters. For once the Korean keyboard on his phone was in use.

I got in a fight Jeongin. He went outside with Hyunjin without saying anything. And didn’t invite me at all . Felix bit his lip and looked at Seungmin’s face. He was scowling, and still gave off an angry scent. Felix frowned and nodded slowly. He reached for the phone but Seungmin shook his head and continued typing. It doesn’t matter. I am not talk about it.

“Episode two?” Seungmin said out loud and handed the phone back. 

The next time Felix saw Seungmin two days later, he was hurrying for a meeting at Choi Inc. but passed by the kitchens for a small snack. The alpha was with Jeongin, the two chatting quietly and pushing at each other with grins on their faces. Felix was happy to see them back to normal and gave Seungmin a smile before leaving. He didn’t have much time to sit and chat, and he frankly felt drained and overstimulated, so he didn’t feel like adding more interaction to his schedule of the day.

The meeting he had was with an investor of Choi Inc. who always sponsored the fundraiser as well. The alpha, Mr. Kim, had insisted on meeting with the new director and discussing whether their current contract was still in power or would be renewed. The previous director of the fundraiser, Park, was in the room too, remaining by Felix’ side as he settled into this new duty. Felix was especially grateful of it that day, with his mind going all over.

“Mr. Kim asks what is your five-year plan?” the translator said and Felix blinked, looking at the man. 

“Well, of course, the idea is to – uh, keep raising money. Like previously, two fundraiser campaigns per year. One of them a collaboration with UNICEF, and one – uh, whatever is best at the time.” The woman was talking along side him, translating in real time. Mr. Kim snorted, a small smirk on his face, and Felix faltered. “I’ve been thinking on this idea, perhaps hosting competitions – to, uh, decide what charity to support next –”

Park cleared his throat and started speaking in Korean, taking Mr. Kim’s attention off Felix. Felix leaned back in his seat and uncapped a water bottle with shaking hands, while the translator started telling him quietly what the conversation was about. Felix felt drained suddenly, so he didn’t speak for the duration of the meeting. Mr. Kim didn’t look at him and didn’t shake his hand on the way out. Felix grit his teeth, feeling belittled, and went in search for his husband, Chan trailing behind.

“Felix, I wasn’t expecting you,” Doek-su said as Felix entered his office. “I have only three minutes before my next meeting, beautiful. Try to be quick, yeah?” Felix crossed his arms over his chest.

“I think people here don’t respect me. Don’t – don’t respect my authority, my position.” His husband lifted an eyebrow and Felix sighed, running a hand over his hair. “I don’t know if it’s because I don’t know Korean, or because I’m too young or because I’m an omega or – something else, but… I just had a meeting with Mr. Kim, and – and he and Park just carried it out as if I’m not in the room! It’s as if they think I’m some child…”

“Don’t whine, Felix. If that’s how you talk to them, then I get why,” Doek-su said with a head shake and tapped at his laptop. “Look, you’ll get accustomed to your role and they’ll get accustomed to you being at the helm of the fundraiser. Just wait it out. Now, I do need to get to my meeting.”

Felix stared at him with an open mouth, feeling patronised. He blinked away tears and left the room without saying goodbye. He hurried to the bathroom, Chan jogging after him, and closed himself in a stall, finally breaking into tears. Felix tried to be silent as he cried, muffling his voice in a bunch of toilet paper pieces. He didn’t want to wait it out, he didn’t want to be looked at with condensation. He wouldn’t have had to go through it if he had been just finishing his Master degree back in Sydney. He wanted to go back, hug his mom, and sleep in his childhood bed.

He went out after a while and went to wash his face, keeping his back to Chan. The bathroom was empty sans then and while Felix patted his cheeks dry, his eyes met the alpha’s. Chan had an unreadable look in his eyes as he stepped closer. Felix sighed and closed his eyes for a second. “I’m fine,” he said quietly and looked at Chan again. He lifted an eyebrow. “Just work stress, you know. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“If you need to talk, let me know, sir,” Chan said at the same volume and gave him a small smile. Felix’ eyes went to his dimples and then he stepped closer shyly. Chan opened his arms and Felix hugged him, letting out a deep breath. It was always a cathartic experience, having the alpha wrap around him and surround him with his scent.

“I’m just unusually emotional today,” he whispered and pulled away with a shrug. Chan cleared his throat and looked to the side. That bared his throat and showed off his sharp jaw and Felix found himself wishing to press his teeth into it. And to lick it.

“You’re entering your pre-heat,” he said and Felix blinked, taking a step back. Ah. Well, that did explain… that. And his oversensitivity. Felix sighed and closed his eyes again. Right, his heat.

—

Felix awakened to a feverish state and the scent of angry alpha and wished he would cease to exist then and there. He kept still and wondered if Doek-su would just leave if he continued to “sleep” for a long time more. 

“I know you’re awake, Felix.” He said his name like a curse and Felix winced, opening his eyes. “Is this going to be a pattern? You reeking of Chan and killing my mood every time your heat hits?” 

“You assigned him as my personal bodyguard,” Felix pointed out quietly, his heart hammering against his chest, suddenly scared that his husband wasn’t going to appreciate his answer. Doek-su rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t get sassy on me. Go shower.”

The next few days were awful once again, just as the previous two times, and Felix actually found himself remaining lucid a lot more often than what he was used to, for a heat. He took advantage of that, keeping his begging to a minimum, not wanting to give his husband that satisfaction.

Afterwards he woke up alone, as the previous two times. He sent Chan a text immediately, before he started to spiral, and curled up on his side. He was exhausted mentally and physically, and feeling on the verge of tears for no reason, just like he always was during and after a heat. A heat with his husband, to be precise. He’d never been like this before, when he took care of them on his own. 

Chan arrived within minutes with food, drinks and a pill. He jumped into the bed immediately and hugged Felix from behind, burying his face in Felix’ neck and scenting him. Felix whimpered and melted in the alpha’s arms, delighted at his warmth and care. There were calming pheromones filling the air and whispered praises in his ear and olives on a platter waiting for him on the nightstand. Felix wanted to cry in relief and happiness. 

He took the pill after eating some of the cheese and fruits and all of the olives, and turned around to bury his face in Chan’s chest. “Thank you,” he mumbled against him and Chan huffed, fingers going through Felix’ hair. 

“The lady at the pharmacy is starting to think my pull-out game is very weak,” he complained and that got an unexpected laugh out of Felix. He nuzzled against the alpha’s muscular chest and the arm wrapped around him pulled him closer. Felix let out a happy purr and sighed.

“I’ve been thinking… Maybe I can start suppresants again. Some omegas have irregular heats or skip a few. I can pretend I’m stressed or something, and that messed up my schedule. I still have the prescription from before I stopped taking them. It’ll be as easy as you collecting them at the pharmacy.” 

“That’s risky, Felix,” Chan said and Felix could tell he was frowning, pouting, without having to see his face.

“Doek-su doesn’t get omegan biology. If he sends me to a gynecologist, I’ll just lie about the blood results. I think that’s better than… always taking the post-heat pill,” Felix defended. He’d been thinking a lot about this. He was still no more ready to have a child, much less so with Doek-su, than he was all those months prior during his first heat. He didn’t expect it to happen any time soon – although he was working on it! He really was… – and taking this pill was a lot more stressful on the body than just not experiencing a heat at all. His husband wasn’t going to find out, even if he had him tested for it – there was doctor patient confidentiality to protect him! It was a good idea, it really was, he’d thought it through.

“It’s your body. You should be the one that decides what happens with it.” Felix preened and lifted his head to smile at Chan, who was already smiling softly back.

—

Just as planned, in early March, Felix arrived in Vientiane, Laos accompanied by Chan and a few more representatives of the fundraiser. They were greeted by a UNICEF staff member and briefed on the way to the village. Felix thought he was prepared mentally for the three days of his stay there but four hours in, once they’d dropped off their belongings at the staff house and made their way into the village school, he was already on the verge of tears. Chan caught his eye after a few minutes of trying and Felix looked away quickly, forcing himself to appear composed.

The school was full of children, roughly aged five to ten, and the majority seemed to be the same height and size. Felix looked from the side as the kids played in a barren field with a few benches and a swing during their recess, while the highest-ranking UNICEF representative on-site told him about their work there.

“Lack of education is a big problem here. In some areas, only about 33% of children attend school, and often those that do have quite low-quality education. This is one of our four main challenges to tackle in Laos. Reduce the school drop-out rates and improve the teaching quality. As you saw earlier, a few of the teachers are currently undergoing training.” Felix had already spoken to a couple of teachers upon arrival, those that knew some English. He nodded.

“Why are the students dropping out?” He should have been better prepared for this, he realised suddenly. From his place high up in Choi Inc.’s fundraiser, he mostly dealt with ad campaigns and raising sums and logistics, not the actual problem. He felt ashamed, but Meryem didn’t look at him with judgment.

“For a number of reasons,” she said and took a sip from her coffee. “There’s some children that come from different ethnolinguistic groups and don’t speak Lao at home, which means there’s a language barrier to overcome at school and that is not always possible.” Felix swallowed, he could relate to that. “Girls especially are sometimes married off very early and pulled out of school.” Felix’ mouth fell open and he met her eyes again. Meryem nodded solemnly. “That’s actually another of the challenges we are working on here. Also, in the rural areas some families don’t even have road access – children then are very unlikely to attend school.”

Felix nodded and looked back at the smiling children running around, playing some form of tag. He blinked away tears. 

The children didn’t speak English, but Felix had done his best to learn a few simple phrases in Lao prior to this visit. He relied on the teacher that trailed him everywhere to translate the rest. “ສະບາຍດີ,” he greeted as he stepped closer to a couple of girls. They were still unpresented, too young for that, but both stared up at Chan behind him with wide eyes and tension. The majority of staff working there was omegas and betas, Felix realised suddenly. Felix turned around and bit his lip. “I’m sorry but could you…”

“Yes, sorry, sir. I’ll be over there though.” Felix nodded and the alpha took a few steps to the side, avoiding all children.

“Hi,” one of the girls said back bravely in Lao and Felix looked back at her with a big smile. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Rathana.”

“Rathana. Beautiful. How old are you?” he asked clumsily and the teacher repeated his question much more fluently. The girl replied something Felix didn’t catch, but also raised her hands to show seven fingers. Felix nodded. “Wow, you’re so big! You’re probably learning so much here!” He glanced at the teacher who translated for him and the girl shrugged.

“She says she’s in one class with the younger kids, so they’re still repeating the same things for the second year.” Felix nodded, his smile slipping a little. 

“Multigrade classrooms are very common here apparently,” Felix ranted as he walked around the room later that evening, Chan sitting on the couch and listening attentively. “Since there’s a lack of teachers with proper training, and so few students actually attend school, they have to put together children that should be in different classes! One of the girls I talked to today is seven but is in the same class with kids that are five. She’s been learning the alphabet and basic addition for two years now. But she’s just not yet ready to go into the upper class where there’s mainly nine and ten year olds. And they, oh God, Chan. They’re ten and they can barely read a basic story.” Felix bit his lip, looking at his bodyguard with distress. He was stinking up the place with his pheromones but Chan didn’t mention it beyond a nose twitch.

“That’s why you’re donating money, right? So that people have the means to work on fixing all these problems,” the alpha said and Felix nodded petulantly and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I just… This is all so unfair! How come some people get to go to school, do extracurricular lessons, enter university, travel, thrive, while others barely have access to clean drinking water, get married off at thirteen, don’t finish school and live in poverty without access to a working road!? How is any of this fair?” He flopped down on the couch next to Chan by the end, feeling enraged.

“It’s not. But it’s how things are. Some people are less fortunate than others, but the fortunate ones can help by sharing their fortune.” Felix met Chan’s eyes and the alpha gave him a small smile. His hand reached out to caress Felix’ knee briefly and Felix felt some of the tension go. “If all fortunate people were like you, caring and sharing their wealth to make the world a better place, there would have been a lot less unfortunate situations.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” Felix whispered and shook his head. “A few million aren’t going to fix everything here. They’ll at most train a few more teachers, give a few more families access to drinking water, and build a couple of roads.”

“And that’s a few more families more healthy than they used to be. A few more families that can now send their kids to school using those roads. A few dozen more kids that get quality education. You can’t fix the world, Lix. But you can improve the lives of some. And that’s already amazing. For them, it’s their whole world that’s changing.” Felix met Chan’s eyes again and felt the tears spill, so he lunged forward and his bodyguard caught him in a hug. “I got you.”

Felix cried for a few minutes silently, all the emotions of the day finally culminating and needing a release. Chan moved sideways to press him closer to his body and rubbed his back through it, releasing soothing alpha pheromones that Felix indulged in without shame. He pulled away in the end and gave him a small smile, wiping at his eyes.

“You’re really doing a lot already, Felix. And you’re not just throwing money at the problem, you care enough to come see it yourself and ask questions. I have a feeling that now you’ll be even more determined in your goals and make sure you can reach as many as possible with the fortune and opportunity you were given. And that’s really all you can do. I’m proud of you, Lixie.” Chan was smiling at him warmly, with the dimples on display and Felix had to smile back shyly.

“You know, you’re very philosophical sometimes,” he commented and cleared his throat. “Also very smart. I often wonder why you didn’t just pursue more, uh, intellectual fields than bodyguarding. Not that bodyguarding is bad or anything! I’m not saying it’s a lowly profession that doesn’t need brains! In fact, you’ve shown to be very perceptive and smart in your job and –”

“I get it,” Chan said over him and laughed. He ran a hand through his hair, looking away. “I’m really not at all smart. Believe me.” He laughed again and Felix rolled his eyes.

“I find that very hard to believe,” he said but Chan remained quiet. After a few beats Felix changed the topic. “Anyway, sorry for all the crying. I just… I hate how hard life is for some people. Kids especially! They didn’t ask to be born, they didn’t ask for these circumstances. They’re just unlucky enough to have a financially struggling family, unlucky enough to be married off and start popping out kids too young, unlucky enough to be born into an arranged loveless marriage and then trapped. It’s… it’s sad.” Felix swallowed and looked down at his hands.

“Felix, did you marry Choi because your family’s struggling financially?” Felix’ eyes widened and he met Chan’s sad ones. He shook his head and cleared his throat again.

“We’re talking about the people of Laos, Chan,” he corrected immediately and got up, walking towards the kitchen. “Do you want a snack by the way? They left a few deserts alongside dinner, and I’d really like to try them.”

The rest of the visit went a bit more smoothly on the emotional side now that he had managed to get those feelings off his chest. He paid a few families a visit in their home, was shown schematics of the road building that was to commence once the money was wired through, and visited another school. It felt good, Felix found, to see exactly what was going to happen where, exactly how the donations of the fundraiser were going to help, exactly who was going to benefit from it. He vowed he was going to visit again – perhaps in a year – to see the tangible results of it all. 

Felix spent the flight back and then the next full day crafting a vlog that truthfully represented the situation there and had the correct respectful tone. He urged for more donations and hoped he could contribute in this way, too.

—

Felix was walking out of the mansion, Chan at his side, Changbin and the SUV waiting by the stairs, when one of Doek-su’s limousines parked next to his car. The door opened and his husband looked up at Felix with expectancy, moving further into the car as if leaving space for him to climb in too. Felix briefly exchanged a glance with Chan before starting to descend the stairs. 

“Doek-su?” he called out but his husband didn’t reply. “Are you also going somewhere?”

“ We are going to the hospital,” Doek-su said and Felix blinked, stopping by the open limo door. What? Felix’ mind raced, trying to determine which mutual acquaintance of theirs could be admitted there. Perhaps Mrs. Choi – she was at an age… “Come in, Felix, we’ll be late to the appointment.”

“I actually had a meeting planned with –”

“It’s been canceled.” Felix’ mouth fell open and he wanted to snap – who was Doek-su to delete items from his agenda? It was an important meeting, with a representative of UNICEF, reflecting on the publicity around his Laos visit and the distribution of his most recent personal donation. It was something Felix had been looking forward to for days now! What was so important that – “Get in, Felix. Your loyal dog isn’t needed, there’s enough security detail with me,” his husband sneered and Felix grit his teeth, looking back at Chan. The man had his jaw and fists clenched and was staring at him with determination. Felix gave him a nod with a small smile and got into the car. Chan remained outside, looking stiff, unhappy. Felix himself was starting to get anxious.

“What appointment?” he asked cautiously. He mentally crossed his fingers it wasn’t about –

“You’re long overdue to visit the gynecologist, don’t you think, beautiful?” Felix’ heart skipped a beat. Unblinking, he looked back out of the window as the car started slowly driving away. Fuck. He wished he hadn’t left Chan behind.

They shoved a speculum up his channel to open him up and see inside – something Felix had always detested but admitted had to happen once a year, so he grit his teeth and went with it. “Now we will take a blood sample and do an ultrasound, to estimate your egg count. Please just keep lying down.”

Egg count and blood test. Doek-su was having his fertility tested. Felix’ head snapped to the man, feeling anger brew in him. His husband was looking at his phone, not noticing him or choosing to ignore him, and Felix clenched his teeth. He hadn’t even told him that outright! Felix felt violated, embarrassed. He hadn’t gotten pregnant in the first nine months of their marriage and that immediately meant that he was unable to? That he had to be tested like a brood mare!? He was certain Mrs. Choi was also involved in this. Felix had a lot to say, but the bubbling fear was keeping his words down.

They were doing a blood test – they were going to find out.

The doctor determined his egg count healthy and even exceptional, he was highly fertile it turned out. Doek-su seemed happy at the news and Felix went behind the screen to put on his clothes silently. “What could be the reason he hasn’t gotten pregnant yet then?” his husband asked and Felix grit his teeth, closing his eyes and trying to remain calm. He had been happy to have an English-speaking doctor, but now he wished he wasn’t able to understand their conversation.

“Pregnancy can take time, sir. While omegas are very fertile during their heats, other factors play a role too. Hormone levels, stress and mental duress, lack of nutrients. Let me also take a look at the blood tests, then we can rule out any illness, too.” Felix bit his lip as he put on his shirt and wondered how he could get Doek-su to leave the room for those.

He walked out, gave his medical history, and just like that, a nurse was knocking on the door with the blood results. Felix gripped the chair’s armrests tightly and locked eyes with the doctor. “Can we perhaps look at them alone? I can tell Doek-su late–”

“Everything that needs to be said can be said in front of me too, Felix. I’m your husband,” Doek-su interrupted and gave him a look. Felix met his eyes and then turned back to the doctor, hoping for her understanding and compassion as a fellow omega. For her to uphold the patient-doctor confidentiality that she was supposed to as a medical doctor. The woman avoided his eyes and cleared her throat. Felix slumped in his chair. Of course she was going to listen to the domineering alpha that paid off the hospital to remain quiet about their visit.

He could tell the exact moment she realised, eyes briefly flickering up to him in surprise. He clenched his jaw and begged her silently again, but she looked away quickly. Then she turned to Doek-su. “Well, everything seems in order. I would say there would be nothing hurdling your omega from getting pregnant once you wish to. But he is on suppresants right now, so I am not surprised to know that he hasn’t become pregnant yet.”

Felix closed his eyes, letting out a soft sigh. There it was. Doek-su was silent and Felix felt numb. He was scared to go back home.

The ride to the mansion was tense. His husband was on his phone the whole time, ignoring him and smelling annoyed but nothing more. Not the reaction Felix had expected and definitely not the real reaction – the calm before the storm, he reasoned as he fidgeted in his seat and bit at his nails. His fear increased with every meter they closed in on the house. 

When they arrived, Chan was standing in essentially the same position he had been left in. He tried to meet Felix’ eyes as he got out of the car, but Felix looked down. Doek-su was slowly getting out of the limo, still focused on his phone, frowning down at it. The limousine was driving off and he was still not paying attention to Felix. Did that mean – maybe he had more important things to do now – maybe Felix had a chance to – maybe he could just run off and hide in his room now! Yes, postponing the confrontation sounded great in that moment, his heart hammering in his chest like a scared rabbit’s. 

Felix started jogging up the stairs, Chan at his side. “Wait a minute, Felix,” his husband called out and Felix stopped mid step, freezing. He was almost at the top, he could just book it. But that was just going to make Doek-su angrier and he’d already angered him enough that day. He faced his husband, hiding trembling hands behind his back. There was tension that could be felt even in the large open space, Doek-su’s angry stink noticeable even from a distance. Chan seemed to read the room and positioned himself directly in front of Felix, two steps lower. 

Choi was slowly coming up the stairs and narrowed his eyes at the bodyguard. “Step aside. You’ve done your job, you got him from the car to the door. Now leave us alone.” Chan clenched his teeth but moved half a meter to the side. “Such a loyal dog, you are. You befriend all my wives so easily. Probably because you have a pussy like them,” Choi sneered and laughed, moving to the step Felix was standing on and looking down his nose at Chan. Chan held his ground and clenched his hands together to stop himself from punching the guy in the face. Getting fired wasn’t going to help in this situation. Choi rolled his eyes at the lack of reaction before turning to Felix, who was already staring at him with wide eyes, reeking of fear. “You bought suppresants and started them behind my back,” he commented coldly and Felix squirmed. “You think you can decide whether we are having a child or not? You think you can lie to me like that?” 

“I–” Choi slapped him hard and Felix swayed backwards from the force, the last step catching on his ankles and bringing him to the ground on his ass. Chan took a step forward immediately and Choi turned to him. 

“Stop interfering! This is between me and him.”

“My task is to protect him,” Chan growled, unable to keep it in this time.

“Yes, protect him. Not meddle in his marriage. Take one more step forward and you’re fired.” Chan grit his teeth and planted his feet on the ground, physically restraining himself from reaching for his charge. Felix was now standing back up, tears in his eyes, as his husband came to stand on the platform too, towering over the boy. “When did you start the suppresants? How long have you been lying to me?” 

“Less than a month ago! I swear. I’ll stop them immediately, I’ll probably still have my heat in a month and a half, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Choi slapped him again and Chan’s body twitched before he grit his teeth and stayed still. The sight and Felix’ distressed scent were too much to bear.

“Stop whining, Felix! What made you think you can just do this behind my back, huh? To make sure a big decision on your own without even consulting me? You’re my husband, you’re my omega. You’re supposed to support my desire for a child. And instead what do you do?” 

“I – I just – I told you, I’m not ready for a child, it’s too early – I need –” 

“And I told you we’re having a baby!” Choi yelled in Felix’ face and Felix took a couple of steps towards the potted railing, away from his husband. “You don’t need to be ready! What are you getting ready for? I’ll hire a dozen nannies to take care of it. I’ll sign you up in classes to get fit again. All you have to do is push it out and then you don’t have to spend any time with it apart from holidays!” Felix hated the idea of other people raising his hypothetical child but he hated his husband even more. 

“Well, this is my body that will be used to carry your child! I should get to decide what happens with my own body! Later when I’m ready – okay; I do want children too some day, but right now I want to do other things! I want to get used to life here. I want to dance!” Felix was yelling, acting on impulse. His husband narrowed his eyes and nodded with a mocking smile. 

“You want to dance?” Felix swallowed, feeling scared suddenly, Doek-su tone of voice cold and nonchalant. “Good luck dancing with paralysis,” he sneered and then before Felix could comprehend what was happening, his husband was grabbing him by the front of the shirt and pushing him over the short railing of the platform. A few pots fell with him, crashing on the cement below. 

There was a heartwrenching yell and Chan was immediately running down the stairs to where the omega lay flat on his back. He spared a glance at Choi who had the audacity to be surprised, looking down at his hands, as if he hadn’t been the one to push his husband over a balcony. Chan made it to Felix and wrenched his employer out of his mind. Felix’ teary eyes were open, but there was blood around his head and on his elbows, and he was standing in one position unmoving, whimpering. Chan touched his head and Felix whined, his scent souring more and more with every passing second.

“Where does it hurt?” Chan asked, panicked, and Felix blinked away tears. 

“M-my back.” Chan touched his hip and Felix cried out. Chan’s hands trembled over his body, fear gripping him like a vice. If Felix was paralysed…

“Is he good?” Choi asked suddenly and Chan realised the alpha had slowly been coming down the stairs. He turned to look at him with cold eyes, snarling. 

“He was pushed and fell from a height, of course he’s not good,” he said flatly and Choi looked up at the platform. 

“It’s barely any height, one-story at most,” Choi said but he sounded scolded, the heat in his voice gone, and his scent no longer domineering. Chan didn’t reply to that and turned to Felix again. 

“I’ll get Changbin, don’t move for now,” Chan instructed and took out his phone. Choi cleared his throat once Chan barked instructions at the driver and hung up.

“Make sure no one sees you on the way to the hospital,” he said quietly and looked at Felix. “You’ll be alright, I’m sure, baby. You’re a fighter. We should avoid such heated conversations in dangerous places next time, yeah? I love you, Felix, but I have to go back to work. Let me know how things go later.” Chan barely held back from snapping at the man. He sounded chastised but was playing it off as an incident. He was the biggest scum on Earth Chan knew. The moment he started going back up the stairs, Chan glared at his back and found Felix’ hand to squeeze tightly. He met his charge’s eyes and tried to smile.

“Everything will be okay, love. I promise you. Don’t worry, okay? Don’t stress yet, please, Lix.” Felix groaned.

“It hurts,” he whispered and Chan squeezed his hand once.

“Don’t speak, don’t move. Just try to stay still, Bin is already here and we’ll get you to the doctors in a few minutes okay?” Then he switched to Korean, looking at Changbin. “The fucker pushed him off the railing. Open the back door.” Chan lifted Felix, trying to keep his back as straight as possible, Felix crying the whole time. Changbin helped by lifting his feet higher and they placed him on the back seat carefully. Chan climbed in, sitting down in the foot space uncomfortably and petting Felix’ hair. “Everything will be okay, Lixie. I’ve got you.”

Felix had a mild concussion, some scapes and bruises all over his body, and a sprained wrist. That he could live with.

He also had a herniated disk, the doctors said. They mostly spoke in Korean, the people from the emergency room on shift not very versed in English. Chan translated the medical terms clumsily as he held his hand from the bedside. He would be fine but he had to take meds, and had to be careful with strenuous activity. In the first couple of weeks, he was going to wear a brace for his lower back, but could probably take it off afterwards, after a check-in with a doctor. In the long-term the herniated disk wasn’t supposed to meddle too much with every day life or important things like his ability to carry children. Felix didn’t care about that. He was probably never going to be able to dance as intensively and often as he had used to. 

Not only was his request for time obviously denied, but his husband had intentionally tried to take away from him his one true happiness. Felix cried. He cried for himself, he cried for his body, and he cried for the unfortunate children he was going to birth into the world. He just wanted to dance…

He had to be kept for observation because of the concussion overnight and Chan stayed the whole time. The moment the doctor and nurses left the room, he was climbing onto the bed, lying down on his side by Felix and wrapping an arm around him. Felix cried some more, wondering once again, just like a few months ago, what it would have been like to meet Chan first, maybe in Sydney.

Well, he was in Korea now and he had a herniated disk. 

“Chan,” he whispered as he moved his face away from the alpha’s neck. His scent and embrace were the only things keeping him sane in that moment. “I think I’d like to take you up on that offer. Teaching me Korean.”

“Yeah? You trust my teaching skills?” Chan asked, aiming for a teasing tone. Felix swallowed and rubbed his cheek against the man’s scent gland.

“I trust you,” he admitted quietly and Chan’s hand around his chest tightened. They stayed quiet for a minute or so and Felix wondered if that was too much to ask but then –

“병원.”

“What?”

“병원. That means hospital.”

Chapter Text

Felix adjusted the height of his seat so he could more easily lean forward and apply the foundation. He was doing a slower, more relaxed vlog this time, mindful of his injury. He talked a bit about new make-up styles for the spring, and then let out a small sigh. “I should also address the obvious, huh?” Felix paused for a second and put down the brush. “You’ve most definitely seen these articles about me visiting the hospital twice in the same day. I don’t want you to worry about it! I’ve received some very sweet messages and I’m very thankful for those! But I’m here and I’m alive and well.”

He’d read through a number of articles while he stayed in the hospital room, all speculative given the hospital’s secrecy, but still plainly showing images of him carried into the building by a frantic Chan. Felix’ feed had been flooded by comments and direct messages by fans, asking after his health and wishing him a speedy recovery. In the four days since the… incident, there had also been a number of rumours spreading. A miscarriage, a domestic fight, a spat with a mistress, and so on. 

Felix was obviously not allowed to tell the world what truly happened – nor did he want to; the last thing he needed was his dysfunctional marriage to become public knowledge – but he owed the people supporting him some kind of explanation. Even if it was a well-cooked lie that he had also served to his family. “I would like to put a stop to all the crazy rumors circling around. I injured my back while training. I was doing deadlifts and obviously had the wrong form, I hurt myself badly. I have a herniated disk. I’m wearing a brace for it right now, actually,” he said and got up slowly to lift part of his shirt, revealing the brace underneath. “I have to take it easy and use some pain killers for a bit, but I should be able to dance again soon!” 

And that was the only silver lining, really. The other small miracle that happened since he fell was that Doek-su hadn’t shown his face. Felix didn’t even know if his husband was in the mansion, but he was thankful that he hadn’t reached out to him. Felix found himself looking over his shoulder inside his own room, fearful of Doek-su showing up and seeing the job through properly this time, even despite Chan’s insistence to guard the door at all times.

His bodyguard dropped him off at the kitchens later that day, for a couple of hours of baking with Jisung. The cooks weren’t in – his friend knew exactly when to occupy the kitchen to be left to their own devices – but Jisung was already preparing by setting some condiments out of the cupboards. “You sure you don’t want me to stick around?” Chan asked quietly and Felix gave him a smile and nodded towards the door.

“I’ll be with Jisung, it’s okay. Go take a nap, please, Chan.” He knew the alpha hadn’t been really sleeping the past few days, standing at his door all day and night. There were dark circles under his eyes and his shoulders were a bit slumped.

“Ah, I’m fine, don’t worry, Lixie.”

“Just watch him hit the gym instead of take care of himself!” Jisung said with a disapproving tone and Felix frowned but before he could say anything, Chan continued louder. 

“Nothing to take care of,” he told the man with a glare and then turned to Felix, eyes softer now. “Text me if there’s anything, okay? I won’t stay far. And let me know if you want to leave earlier, otherwise I’ll be back at 15:30.” Felix nodded and wondered if it would have been good for him to press, too. He respected the alpha and didn’t want to tell him what to do, but he also cared about him and worried, just as much as he could see Chan worry about him sometimes. Before he could make up his mind, Jisung was speaking rapidly in Korean, Chan replying in kind. The alpha had the last word and left quickly after, with one last smile in Felix’ direction.

“Oh, you should have seen Ji-soo’s face when I told him I’ll take care of the dessert for tonight! Looked so doubtful!” Jisung exclaimed as he opened the fridge to continue gathering ingredients. Felix grinned as he grabbed an apron to tie around his waist.

“I wonder why,” he teased and Jisung yelped.

“Hey! What is that supposed to mean? That japchae last evening? That was all me!” Felix blinked, not sure he believed that. He loved his fellow omega, but the man was too accident prone and too heavy with the salt shaker to have produced the delicious meal Felix had dined on. “Okay, I mean Seonghwa helped a little…” Felix chuckled. Yeah, there it was. “How’s your back, by the way?”

“Well, I’m high on painkillers right now, so it’s great.” They worked with concentration on the lemon tarts for some time, brief conversations picking up here and there. Jisung had a lot to chatter about and Felix liked listening to him. He also didn’t feel particularly talkative.

“Oh, wait, don’t bend your back!” Jisung exclaimed suddenly and Felix got up, closing the oven as he did so. “You should have let me do that. Chan-hyung will have my head if your back gets worse!” Felix rolled his eyes. 

“Is that what you guys talked about before he left? He’s too protective sometimes,” Felix said but couldn’t help but smile. It was endearing. Jisung muttered something but Felix frowned suddenly. “Wait, I've heard you call him that before too! What does it mean?”

“Oh, right! You’re learning Korean now, right? I can help with that!” Jisung flung down the wet rag he’d been wiping the counter with and leaned against it, turning to face Felix. “Okay so, hyung is something you add to someone’s name when they’re older than you. Someone you respect and are familiar and affectionate with, you know? Like, older brother, uncle, or any older male really.”

“Hyung,” Felix repeated and Jisung nodded with a grin.

“Yes, just like that! And if you want to address an older woman, it’s noona.” Felix tested that out as well and Jisung nodded. “What words do you know so far?”

“Uh, not that many,” Felix admitted. While he’d been confined to the hospital bed, he had gone over some of the basics that he already knew thanks to his parents and the awful teacher: a few greetings, counting to ten, a few grocery items and animals. In the past few days since, Felix shared his meals with the alpha and they went back and forth, Chan quizzing him on new words and Felix doing his best to learn them.

“Show me what you know, this is exciting!”

Only twenty minutes later, Chan walked into the kitchen and Felix knew it was time to leave for his next appointment. “Oh, before we go, you should come try this, hyung!” Felix exclaimed excitedly, grabbing one of the tarts and placing it on a napkin for Chan. The alpha did a double take, blinking at him in confusion, and Jisung snorted from the side. Felix grinned proudly, his chest puffing out.

“Jisung teaching you words?” Chan asked slowly in Korean and Felix bounced in his place, understanding the sentence completely and feeling good about that.

“Yes! I know many words,” he replied clumsily back and Chan chuckled, his smile spreading wider. His eyes were crinkling beautifully.

“From now on we only speak in Korean then, if you’re so confident,” Chan said in English and Felix laughed. 

On the way to the car, Felix received a message on his phone and he felt the lightness and easiness in his chest disappear at once. His husband wanted to dine with him that evening. Felix swallowed tightly and met Chan’s eyes. The man was already watching him intensely, nostrils flaring slightly. Felix tried to reign in his scent and cleared his throat. “All good,” he said quietly as they stepped out of the front door. 

Instinctively his head immediately turned to the left, to the balcony railing off which he’d fallen just a week prior. He couldn’t see it because Chan was blocking it from view. “The tart is great,” Chan was saying and Felix looked at his face to catch him taking the last bite. He had cream on his nose. Felix grinned.

“Your big nose got in the dessert,” he said as they started descending down the stairs. Chan gasped and started dabbing at it with the napkin.

“Yeah, I have a pretty big nose, don’t I?” he asked, looking quite serious about what Felix thought was a joke. Felix opened his mouth to take the comment back but the alpha continued, “You know what else is big?” Felix’ mind immediately conjured up images of Chan from that one time they’d visited the dojo. The gray pants that concealed nothing. He could feel himself burning up and sputtered. “My feet,” Chan finished, looking down at them innocently, a small frown between his eyebrows. Felix let out a deep breath and tried to keep his scent to himself.

“You are red, sir,” Changbin commented instead of a greeting – in Korean, and Felix understood! – and Chan immediately faced him.

“Are you alright, Lix?” he asked, concern etched into his face. Felix nodded with a small smile and sent Changbin a discrete glare as he entered the car. The driver chuckled.

Felix spent the whole afternoon worrying about dinner. He was scared to attend, but he was a lot more scared to disobey Doek-su’s request. Chan entered the mansion after him and Felix bit his lip, turning to him at the door. “I’ll have dinner with Doek-su,” he said quietly and Chan’s face immediately twisted. 

“Felix –”

“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry, please. But… But I – if – if there’s –”

“If he does something, text me or call me, okay?” Felix nodded, his wide eyes locked on the alpha’s. He wanted to lean in and scent Chan’s neck, get drenched in the breezy aroma. He couldn’t do that of course, but Chan seemed to read his mind as usual and reached out to squeeze his arm gently in encouragement.

Felix sat down at the table while Jeongin was serving the dishes. They shared a smile but didn’t speak. It had become an unspoken agreement that Felix wasn’t going to interact much with his friends from the staff in front of Doek-su or in a place where Doek-su could see it happen. It wasn’t as though his husband had said something about it. Felix just felt an intrinsic need to protect his friendships, as the only sources of support and care in his life, and that need only grew stronger now. Doek-su knew how happy dancing made him and look where that got him. Felix was glad his husband wasn’t aware just how much his friends meant to him.

Doek-su entered the dining room five minutes later, pocketing his phone. Felix didn’t meet his eyes but returned his greeting. “Is your back healing fine?” his husband asked as he took a seat at the head of the table. Felix’ eyes flickered to him but Doek-su’s face was just blank. 

“It will never fully heal,” Felix muttered and Doek-su hummed. 

“We should take care not to clash like that in the future, beautiful. To avoid more harm,” he commented lightly and dug into his salad. Felix suddenly felt all his fear be set aflame, turning into anger. Clash? Clash!? There was no clash! There was barely any conversation before Doek-su physically attacked him! Felix would never forget his husband’s words right before he pushed him over the ledge; he’d meant to paralyse him! Felix couldn’t hold in a shudder. There was still fear amid the anger, so he only gripped his own fork and stabbed at a tomato. “I received your parents’ anniversary celebration invitation.”

Felix met his eyes for a second before looking away. Damn it, he hadn’t thought his parents would message Doek-su personally as well, but he should have expected it. They worshiped the ground the alpha walked on. It was their 25th anniversary, a big day for their happy marriage, and they wanted a big celebration with the whole family – and that included Doek-su these days. The celebration was only going to happen in late summer but his mother had said in her message they wanted to make it known early on so that the busy bees from Korea could carve a small hole in their agenda if possible. Felix was always going to make time for his family. “I can go on my own. I know you’re very busy,” Felix said, waving a hand nervously. He’d only received the invitation himself the previous day and he’d already been hoping he would go alone. He didn’t want Doek-su anywhere near his family.

“They’re your parents, it’s important for me to show them my respect and appreciation, Felix. Of course I will try my best to be there for that, baby.” He was talking as if nothing had happened earlier that week and Felix felt himself getting angry over that too. Was his body and its state really that inconsequential to the man? “What will our present for them be?” Felix blinked. Doek-su wanted to give them a present? Their eyes met. Maybe it was for the best for Felix to pretend nothing had happened either. It wasn’t like he was going to win the argument if he picked it up.

“Well, I’ve been thinking… for some time now, actually, of maybe buying them a house. A big one on the beach, where everyone can have their own room. My mom has always wanted one.” Doek-su nodded and dabbed at his chin with a napkin.

“I’ll have my secretary arrange someone from real estate to talk to you. It’s a gift from me too, so feel free to look at anything. Maybe don’t go above ten million, but whatever catches your fancy, you can buy.” Felix’ mouth fell open and he stared at his husband with disbelief. Ten million!? Felix had hoped, with his savings from the fundraiser, that he could spend a few hundred thousand, maybe get a small loan if necessary to round it to a million. With ten million he could buy a mansion as big as the one he lived in currently! Maybe. Doek-su gave him a sly smile. “Don’t look so surprised, beautiful. I take care of my omega and his family.”

Felix didn’t know what to think. It was obviously a great opportunity, he couldn’t even imagine all the possible homes he could provide for his family with all that money! His mother would get to live right by the beach finally, and there will be enough space for all three children to come over with their own children in the future. He could even afford to spend some of the gigantic budget on hiring a maid – his family would no longer worry about anything! And it was all because of Doek-su. At the same time… his husband had fucked up Felix’ back. He hated and feared the man more and more with every passing day. Was he just trying to throw money at Felix to solve their issues? Whatever Doek-su was doing, Felix’ family deserved an upgrade from their tiny apartment and Felix had always wanted to take care of them, just like they had taken care of him for so long growing up.  

Chest bubbling with emotion, Felix just inclined his head. “Thank you,” he said quietly, still unsure of what to think or feel. Doek-su shrugged and changed the subject to work.

—

Felix was on track with finishing his Master thesis in the summer, so he concentrated his biggest efforts there. He continued working at the company and studying for his other degree too, but besides intellectual work there was nothing filling his day. All physical activity was cut out for a time and it grated on him. There was an itch beneath his skin, he needed to move, he needed to dance. For two weeks he barely did any movements at all, the baking session with Jisung being the most intense of his activities. In the two weeks after, he did light exercises and stretches in his room, and that drove him even more crazy than the no-movement days before that since it felt a lot like teasing, like his desires were just barely out of reach.

When he finally stepped back into the Dance!Dance! studio, Felix was ready to cry. He pulled Hyunjin and Minho into a hug and grinned. It had been too long. Once he fully felt back to his feet, Chan took him to the dojo again, squeezing his hand once meaningfully as they stepped in. Felix looked at the alpha, at his handsome profile, and smiled.

Someone greeted Chan on the way to the main room, and Felix could decipher some of the short conversation. There was at least something about a Min-Jun – Chan asking where he was – and Felix felt proud of himself. If they continued the daily lessons, he was going to be understanding everything and even speaking back well soon enough! Chan’s scent got a little bitter with disappointment and Felix realised the man Chan had been looking for was probably not in. He wanted to ask about it but then Chan was gently pulling him towards an empty ring and Felix’ mind switched contexts. 

“Okay, let's see how much you remember from last time, eh?” Chan asked with a playful glint in his eyes the moment they stepped into the ring. Felix grinned. “Hit me, c'mon.” Felix’ fists went after Chan's padded hands one after the other, switching between the two and ducking one of Chan's lunges. Their eyes met for a second after that before Felix landed two more hits and then – to finish him off, a kick to the side. Chan grunted and moved backwards, eyes wide as a grin spread out on his face. Felix took in a deep breath and chuckled, feeling satisfied with his little display. The impressed look in the alpha's eyes gave him immense pleasure. “Well, look at that. Lix, you are amazing.” Felix’ cheeks flushed but his chest puffed out, feeling even more elevated if that was even possible. He took a step closer and hissed as something pulled at his lower back. 

“Okay, maybe the kick was too much,” he muttered and rubbed the painful point. Chan was next to him immediately, one of his own larger hands replacing Felix'. 

“Are you okay? We can stop now if –”

“No, no, I'm good. We just started – I want to do more, please.” Their eyes met and Chan looked a little doubtful but with one more encouraging look from Felix, he relented. 

“Alright. Today we can maybe look at footwork.” 

It was fun, the time at the dojo. It allowed Felix to let out some of his frustration in a satisfactory destructive way while also teaching him a thing or two and making him feel a tad more safe than before. Would he be able to hold off Doek-su if he was to attack again? Maybe not. But would he at least buy himself some time until Chan could react and reach him? Possibly so. He knew where to kick if he was attacked from the front and from the back! He'd only had two lessons so far, but they were going to come to the dojo again. And Felix was going to feel even more safe. 

Training was actually not as exhausting as dancing, probably also because he didn't get caught up in it for three hours without a pause, but it still left his muscles stinging pleasantly. Felix felt like jelly as he slouched in the backseat of the car afterwards. “Are you eating dinner alone?” Chan asked in Korean slowly and Felix made a noise. 

“Yes, uh, is Doek-su in Japan?” 

“He is in Japan,” Chan corrected and Felix rolled his eyes. 

“Yes. He is in Japan. Jisung said there is dumplings for dinner. Uhh… do you want dinner, Chan-hyung?” Chan raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms and Felix just knew he was going to be an asshole about Felix forgetting a word.

“I do. I'm very hungry,” the alpha said and stared at him with expectation. Felix could see the corner of his lip curl up slightly, the dimple just barely becoming visible. Felix' eyes involuntary fell down to the bared arms. Chan was gorgeous all around. He cleared his throat and met Chan's eyes again.

“Do you… want to eat dumplings?” Felix asked and Chan lifted an eyebrow with a nod.

“Yes! I will make some dumplings for dinner.” Felix rolled his eyes again at the man's stubbornness. 

“Jisung and I have dumplings for dinner,” he said and Chan bit down a smile.

“Enjoy!” Felix let out a groan.

“You can also enjoy,” he said and had to stop himself from smiling too. Chan’s dimples were fully out now.

“I will make dumplings and enjoy them, yes.” Felix pushed at his arm and opened his mouth but Changbin cut him off with a deep sigh.

“함께! The word you want is 함께,” he said loudly in English and Felix met his eyes in the rear view mirror. Changbin seemed a weird mix of annoyed and amused. “Stop flirting, I am in car too.” Felix felt himself flush and looked away, not turning to Chan who he could see from the corner of his eye was rubbing the back of his neck. Felix cleared his throat, feeling called out despite not having really been flirting. Chan said something in Korean too quickly for Felix to follow, but it sounded like he was telling the driver off.

“Do you want to eat together?” Felix mumbled in the end and Chan brushed his fingers against his knee.

“I’d love to.”

Learning Korean was fun – and that really was a statement he would have never made a few months ago! It was bizarre how things changed – but his other studying responsibilities weren’t going as great. His thesis work consisted mostly of writing nowadays and he sometimes fell into those dry spells where writing didn’t come easy. In those moments, he was lucky to have friends just as obsessed with dancing as him, so that he could join them and let off some steam at 11pm on a random Wednesday.

“By the way,” Chan said in English and cleared his throat. “Your scent is starting to change,” he whispered and Felix met his eyes in panic. All the positive energy he’d accumulated over the past few days, from spending time with his friends, left his body. He was about to go into heat. There were no suppresants and he was frankly scared to ask for a pill this time around. What if Doek-su found out about that, too? Next time, Felix was going to leave the hospital in a wheelchair.

Felix was fucked. And he was going to get fucked, and he was all alone and – Chan touched the back of his hand and Felix looked back at him, not having even realised he’d closed his eyes. The alpha had a tender expression as he stared back, face full of care and support. His own pheromones were filling up the small space of the car, in response to Felix’ distressed ones. Felix took in a deep breath and tried to give the alpha a small smile. He wasn’t alone.

“I’ll be okay, Channie-hyung.” Chan looked uncertain and Felix moved his hand to caress Chan’s wrist at the scent gland. “Really. Thank you.” 

He was going to be okay. Even if his heat went to shit, again, he was going to have Chan there afterwards. Whatever happened after the heat, Chan would be there too. Felix could rely on his bodyguard for everything and that on its own gave him a boost of confidence that he had really needed and that he cherished more than he could ever describe.

Chan gave him a hesitant smile in return and Felix smiled wider at the sight of the beautiful dimples.

—

When Felix opened his eyes, Doek-su was silently staring at him. He vaguely wondered if that was how every heat was going to start in his life. With his husband entering his room without his permission, sitting down and glaring at him for a made-up reason and then taking his satisfaction without caring much about Felix’ before leaving Felix in pieces to be picked up by someone else.

Doek-su remained quiet and so did Felix. He had no desire for sex and wondered if that was normal; he was in heat after all, judging by his sweaty forehead and the discomfort between his legs.

“You reek of that dog. Chan,” his husband said flatly and Felix, feeling bolder than ever, raised his eyebrows.

“So what?” The moment the words were out of his lips and his husband’s eyes darkened, his scent spiking, Felix realised he’d made a mistake. He opened his mouth again but Doek-su spoke over him.

“So what? So what?! I’ll tell you what, you little whore!” Felix was already pushing the blankets away and trying to put as much distance between them but his husband grabbed his hips and dragged him closer, pulling him to the edge of the bed and placing a knee on his lower back. Felix hissed and heard a belt unbuckling.

“Wait, no, please! I’m sorry!” 

“You will be very sorry after I’m done with your disrespectful ass.” 

“Wait, my heat – I think it’s not started yet,” Felix stuttered out in panic, trying again to escape, but his husband pulled him back and pulled down his pants, keeping him in place with a strong grip at the back of his neck. 

“I can smell you, Felix, and you smell ripe and ready for the taking. Stop lying and start behaving!” He slapped Felix’ ass hard and Felix screamed at the sting. “You’re my omega,” Doek-su said as he harshly put a couple of fingers in Felix’ ass. Felix hissed at the stretch and tried to relax to make it easier on himself but the lack of lubrication was painful. “ My omega. You will smell only of me !”

“Doek-su – it hurts,” Felix whined, and his husband gripped him tighter to keep him in place.

“It’s your job to slick up, baby. Why are you not doing your job?” Doek-su mocked as he spat on Felix’ hole then shoved a third finger in. Felix cried out at the pain, the spit not enough. “You think Chan can fuck you better than me, huh? That gnome can’t even knot you like a real alpha! You have to be glad you have me to breed your cunt.” The fingers were gone but Felix’ relief didn’t last long. Doek-su pushed himself in harshly and Felix screamed. 

It hurt. It hurt a lot. He zoned out after that, the pain too much and his husband’s words of praise over his own cock not at all contributing to make him feel better. The penetration was becoming easier but from how raw he felt inside, Felix was sure it was only blood easing the way. Felix gripped the blankets and cried silently, thighs trembling at the uncomfortable position. When Doek-su was done, he finished deep inside Felix and then moved away. 

“You are a lot more stupid than I thought if you can’t see and appreciate what you have,” Doek-su said, squatting to bring their faces to eye-level. Felix only glanced at him when his husband twisted a hand in his fair and forced him to. “You can take care of this heat on your own if you’re going to be a bitch. Let’s see how nicely you beg for my cock next time around, yeah?” With that, he left.

Felix stood there in the same position for a long time, feeling numb, staring at the painting hung over his bed frame. Slowly, the pain in every part of his body made itself known and he felt tears pool in his eyes. He was – he felt – he needed Chan.

When Felix came to again, it was to warmth and the feeling of safety. It was also to a comforting and beautiful smell and to big arms around him and to a strong body under his and he was just seconds away from producing slick, he could feel it. His body was burning but he didn’t want to move lest the moment ended. Chan – Chan was under him, that was why he was so warm and safe. He could vaguely remember taking a bath to relax his aching muscles as well as some painkillers and being carried to bed by his bodyguard with some snacks on a platter. He'd fallen asleep next to Chan while eating and listening to the alpha’s stories about his dog, Berry, that lived with his mother and sister and he occasionally got to play with whenever he visited. It had been the most soothing way to fall asleep. 

Felix didn’t want to be soothed anymore, he was burning up from the inside. Felix moved his hips experimentally without opening his eyes yet and felt the body under him rut up. He moaned while Chan let out a groan. "You smell so good, love," Chan said sleepily into his hair and Felix felt himself preen. His alpha liked his scent. He rubbed their hips together again, only now realising they were both hard. The air was thick with arousal. "Fuck, Lixie." Chan was nosing at his temple, one hand moving lower to grab his ass and the other still keeping him close by the back. Chan growled low in his throat and Felix moaned when a big hand squeezed his flesh. 

"Please, Channie," he whispered against the alpha’s neck and felt Chan freeze. He could tell the man changed moods and intentions in the same moment and whined. 

"Felix. God, Felix, I'm sorry. We shouldn't –" Felix whined again and moved away, finally opening his eyes to take in Chan. He felt cold now, both because of the lack of Chan's body heat and because of the pang of rejection that sliced his heart. "Wait no, sweetheart, I want you. Fuck, Felix, you're perfect, you’re so good, sunshine. Look at you, so beautiful.” He was cupping Felix’ face and looking at him with such adoration that Felix felt slick start leaking again. Chan scented the air and noticed it too. “Fuck. You’re in heat, Lix, I’d be taking advantage – we can’t –”

“I need you, it hurts,” Felix interrupted. He was in heat, that was just the more reason for them to can . Chan closed his mouth with a loud click of teeth, he was swallowing hard and Felix looked at him, pleading. 

“You’re married, Felix. To my bastard of a boss,” Chan reminded, one hand rubbing against Felix’ neck, scent marking him in apology. 

“Does that matter?” Felix growled and moved his head away from the alpha’s hands. “He left me to suffer here. Does that sound like the kind of person we should care about?” 

“I don’t give a shit about him,” Chan snarled and Felix felt himself slick up more at the angry face, angry for him, not at him. “But this can get ugly if he finds out.” 

“Then we’ll make sure he doesn’t,” Felix decided and moved to sit on Chan’s lap again.

“You’re surprisingly coherent,” Chan commented casually, his hands immediately on Felix’ hips, one touching the soft skin under the shirt. Felix moved closer so their crotches pressed against each other again and both groaned in unison. 

“I think the suppresants messed up this heat.” Earlier he wasn’t even slicking up despite getting fucked; it was definitely an unusual heat. Felix knew what Chan was nosing at, however. “I’m coherent, you’re not taking advantage of me,” Felix assured and Chan met his eyes. Maybe Chan knew him well, but Felix knew him too. He smiled and grabbed one of Chan’s hands to bring up to his chest. The alpha was still hesitating. “Please, it hurts,” he begged – he was good at that by now, he could use it to his advantage. Chan growled and in a swift movement flipped them so he was on top of Felix. 

“I’ll take care of you, Lixie. I’ll make you feel good, okay? I’ll make you feel so good, love,” he said against his lips and tugged up Felix’ shirt. 

Felix groaned in pleasure when Chan’s hands made it on his bare chest and the man leaned down to kiss and suck the skin of his neck. Felix grabbed onto Chan’s soft curly hair and let his other hand roam all over the muscular back, unhappy at the fabric covering skin. Chan’s fingers went to his nipples and Felix felt himself slick up even more. The alpha continued attacking his torso with his mouth and sneaked a hand down to rub him over the pajama pants. Felix saw stars. His husband didn’t like to pay attention to his dick at all – he was an omega, only good for his cunt – so this felt like heaven. He rutted against Chan’s hand and the man grinned. 

“This feel good, sunshine?” he growled against his ear and Felix nodded enthusiastically. Chan pulled his pants down a bit – no underwear – and grabbed his dick in hand. The moment he squeezed the length, Felix was shooting his load all over Chan’s shirt and hand with a shout. Chan rubbed a nipple and kissed his jaw through it. “Good boy, such a good boy for me, Lixie.” Felix nodded and reached out for Chan’s head to bring their faces closer. He hesitated briefly, the man hadn’t kissed him once so far – maybe he wanted to keep some kind of distance after all – but then Chan was kissing him hard and Felix melted into the mattress with a sigh, his bones feeling squishy. God, that felt good. 

“Channie-hyung,” Felix whined the moment they separated and Chan let go of his dick to caress his side, forehead pressed against his. 

“What, love? What do you need?”

“More please, please, please.” 

“You don’t have to beg, Lixie, I’ll give you anything. Everything you want, okay?” The alpha kissed him again and Felix believed. The pajama pants were being dragged lower and Felix felt a thrill of excitement shoot down his spine at the idea of Chan’s dick filling him up. “Fuck, sweetheart, you’ve made a mess,” Chan said with a small smile and Felix hid his face in the pillow. “No, no, no, sunshine, don’t be embarrassed. It’s good, you’re being very good, I love it.” He was touching Felix’ thighs now, spreading his legs and Felix felt exposed and shy but for once not in a bad way. “Ah, fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Chan whispered and moved to lie down lower on the bed so his face was at Felix’ crotch. He kissed Felix’ dick which was already hardening and Felix gasped, one hand reaching out to grasp Chan’s hair again. Felix fisted the soft curls and moaned again when he felt a finger collect the slick from his bottom. He watched as Chan brought it to his lips and then his face changed. He was burying his face in Felix’ asshole, tongue lapping at the source aggressively and Felix gasped, holding onto his hair tighter. 

“Chan, oh fuck, Channie!” Chan just made a noise against him but didn’t stop his activity.

“You taste so good, Felix. Holy sh – perfect omega, so good, delicious, I wanna – fuck!” Felix was leaking steadily now, the aroused and excited pheromones wafting off Chan getting him deeper and deeper under. 

“Chan-hyung, please, Chan.” There were two fingers in his asshole and Felix yelped at the sudden intrusion. It didn’t hurt, however. It felt good, felt even better when he felt Chan’s mouth closing around the head of his dick simultaneously. “Oh, god,” he breathed and started moving his hips, fucking himself on the fingers and getting some more traction on his member. Chan added a third finger and sped up, hitting his prostate with every thrust and Felix became a mess, the stimulation overwhelming to the point of tears. “Channie,” he whined and fisted his hair tighter, feeling his body coil up. Chan growled against him and took his full dick in before pushing in a fourth finger and setting a brutal pace. Felix’ torso sprung up, his eyes rolling backwards at the intensity of the orgasm that hit him, his ass leaking more slick around Chan’s fingers and his dick emptying again down Chan’s throat. The man swallowed dutifully and continued abusing his hole while Felix shook above him. “Wait too much – please, hyung.” 

The alpha took away his hand and relocated his mouth to continue lapping at his slick around his cheeks and thighs. Felix trembled, one hand catching onto Chan’s biceps and squeezing, to feel grounded. Chan’s biceps were so muscular, he noted absently. Chan was incredibly sexy. He smiled as waves of pleasure still washed over him. That was probably the longest and most intense orgasm in his life. 

“That was – that was – woah.” He flopped back down on the bed and tugged on Chan’s hair. The man took some convincing but in the end left his ass alone and moved up to kiss him hungrily. Felix moaned at the taste of his own slick and Chan groaned, rutting against him. He left Felix’ mouth to kiss his neck and suck and bite into it, his crotch rubbing at Felix’ hip. “You’re still fully dressed,” Felix slurred. Chan just grunted against his neck and sat up briefly to remove the shirt off his back before going back down, lips attached to Felix’ neck. His hot naked torso flush against Felix’ felt incredible. Felix curved his back to press closer and one of Chan’s arms wrapped around his waist to glue them together. Felix moaned. Chan had so much muscle, he felt so good. One of Felix’ hands squeezed at his shoulder and the other was still lost in the man’s hair. He loved that unruly curly hair. His hips twitched against Chan’s again and Chan growled. “Please Channie, I want you in me.”

Chan moved up to kiss him again before pulling away from the bed. Felix’s eyes flew open and he whimpered, one hand reaching out. Chan shushed him gently and leaned his head forward for Felix to touch again. Meanwhile he took off his cargo pants and toed off his underwear too. Felix felt his breath hitch at the sight of the big dick that stood at attention, facing him, leaking at the tip. He licked his lips and stared at it bounce, transfixed, as Chan got back on the bed. His attention was suddenly drawn by the larger base of the dick and he blinked. 

“You can knot?” he blurted out stupidly and Chan growled at him in a way that felt more threatening than Felix had expected. He was glad the man was hired to protect him and not other people from him because he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his ire. He shuddered, feeling a pang of fear, but the man quickly crowded him against the bed, rubbing their cheeks together. 

“I can knot,” Chan rasped against his ear and Felix felt a joke incoming – so could he or could he not? – but it died off in his throat when he realised Chan was in a rut. He was almost nonverbal and in full on instinctual mode, a knot ready to pop, smelling potent and fertile and ready, and – he was in actual rut – and the first thing Felix did was insult him. He whined and rubbed his face against Chan’s too in apology. Chan moved closer and his dick ended up pressing against Felix’ slicked hole. He gasped. 

“Yes, yes, please Channie-hyung,” he begged, needing it in him. Chan kissed him and at the same time lined up his cock at his hole. He entered slowly and moved his face to hover over Felix’ as he gasped, mouth falling open. Chan watched him with dark half-lidded eyes and an open mouth, chin raised high as he bottomed out. Felix whined and felt himself get more aroused at the regal picture that painted. Then Chan quickly got out and thrust back in and Felix screamed in pleasure when the dick hit his sensitive spot. He grasped onto Chan’s back and pulled him closer again for a kiss. 

Chan sped up his pace and his tongue battled Felix’ forcefully. One hand was going down to tug on Felix’ dick. Felix moved his hips and dug his nails into his shoulders and back and kissed him with passion and felt so full he could burst. Then he felt the knot pressing against his rim and he realised there was more incoming. He dug the nails deeper when Chan didn’t stop his thrusts and it started tugging on his rim. Fuck, Chan was huge. He felt tears at his eyes and squeezed them shut. Chan pulled his lips away and paused. Felix shuddered when the alpha licked his cheeks clean from the tears. 

“Stop?” he asked lowly and for a moment he looked almost present. Felix felt warmth bloom in his chest as he shook his head and kissed Chan’s cheek. 

“You’re just really big,” he said shyly and Chan’s chest rumbled against his in satisfaction. He continued pulling at Felix’ cock and kissing him gently around his neck and jaw. Felix shuddered and moved against him, while Chan slowly picked up on fucking him again. He sped up and with a few big thrusts he was in. Felix yelled out and gasped, feeling fuller than ever. “Fuck, yes, yes, Channie, so good.” He could feel his orgasm building again. 

“Perfect, for me,” Chan grit out as he rutted against him, unable to move much anymore, leaning to capture his lips again and bite them. Felix whined and sped up his own hips, seeking purchase. Then Chan was coming, filling him up properly and plugging it all in there. He could feel his dick in his stomach and knew if he looked down, there would be a visible bulge. Chan twisted his hand around his dick and Felix was gone too. His moans matched Chan’s as the alpha continued pistoning against his prostate in short thrusts and working on his dick. 

Felix’s eyes rolled back behind his eyelids and for a moment he felt himself slip away. He probably didn’t lose more than a minute, but when he came back his body felt like jelly and he was lying on top of Chan once again with the alpha in a semi-sitting position against the headboard. Chan’s cock was still inside him and he knew that wasn’t a comfortable position for the man but when he tried to move, Chan bit down on his shoulder slightly and growled lowly. Felix grinned sleepily and settled down, Chan letting go after a few seconds. He kissed Felix’ cheek where he could reach and Felix sighed in content. 

He was sticky and sweaty and hot but it was perfect. His ass squeezed around the dick inside him and Chan groaned, his cock twitching. Felix bit his lip. He felt mostly aware of his surroundings, he doubted this… pseudo heat of his was going to last much longer after this. He’d been thoroughly fucked out already, but he hoped they’d get another round. His stomach grumbled and Chan reached out for the night stand to grab the plate they’d left behind the previous day and bring it closer on the bed. Felix opened his mouth and felt Chan huff against him but then a piece of fruit was pressed to his lips. He bit into it and munched happily. Chan’s hand ghosted over his spine and Felix let out a content sigh again. 

“How are you?” Chan rasped and Felix smiled a little. 

“Very good. Perfect,” he admitted and Chan’s hand came up to pet his hair while the other one brought another piece of fruit to his lips. 

“You’re perfect.” Felix grinned wider and tried to wiggle his head lower to put into Chan’s neck. They stayed like this, without speaking, while Chan’s knot went down and Felix got some more food in his stomach. The moment Chan was out, Felix shuddered at all the cum that spurted out. He felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment as Chan got up and brought a wet towel to clean him up. He bit his butt playfully while he did that and Felix yelped, turning around to level him with a glare. Chan was grinning, eyes crinkling with happiness, looking like he was finally all there, and Felix pulled him closer, tugging him behind himself in a spooning position.

“I thought you don’t have ruts,” Felix said quietly after a few minutes and Chan huffed, burying his nose into Felix’ neck.

“There are some sporadic, short ones every once in a while, with some extra persuasion. But I’m not – I don’t function like a normal alpha should,” Chan said and then gave a small laugh that sounded so fake it made Felix’ heart ache. He turned his face sideways to rub their cheeks together.

“No, you’re much better.” Chan smiled against his face but didn’t say anything. He rubbed a thumb over Felix’ cheek and Felix purred for him. “I’m sleepy,” he said after a few minutes. 

“Let’s take a nap then,” the alpha said into his hair and squeezed his waist. “You were so good, Lix, you deserve rest now.” Felix smiled and cuddled closer before closing his eyes.

Chapter Text

Felix didn’t stop thinking about his heat for a week straight after it was over. His husband had intended to make him miserable – not for the first time – but instead he’d accidentally made Felix unbelievably happy. Spending those couple of days in bed with Chan was everything he’d always imagined when it came to sharing his heats. Chan was attentive, and careful and caring. Chan made him feel good and safe and satisfied. Chan was most importantly off limits.

They hadn’t discussed what happened despite having many opportunities to do so. It was as though there was an unspoken agreement to pretend Chan hadn’t helped Felix through his heat and took care of him after, too. The alpha didn’t change his behaviour towards Felix, still taught him Korean, had lunch with him, touched and comforted him often, joked and rambled as usual. From one side it was a good thing, Felix was glad Chan hadn’t withdrawn or started treating him differently. But on the other hand… 

Maybe Felix wanted things to change? Maybe he wanted more?

“Everything okay?” Jeongin asked, pulling him out of his thoughts and Felix’ head snapped up to meet the alpha’s eyes. Jisung also looked up from his homework to stare. 

He was being stupid. Chan was literally an employee of Felix’ husband. Nothing more could be had between them, ever. The man had been kind enough not to let him suffer through the pain on his own and that had to be enough. Not like Felix had feelings anyway! He was married. The only feelings he could have were towards Doek-su. 

“Felix?”

“Yeah, yes. I’m good. Just… Thesis not going as smoothly as I hoped.” Jisung nodded.

“I’m so not looking forward to starting mine,” he complained and Jeongin rolled his eyes.

“All you talk about is school,” he said and then there was a word Felix didn’t know. Jisung turned to him.

“He called us nerds,” he said in English and snorted. “But he didn’t mind it when Hyunjin spent three hours talking to him about Monet.”

“Hyunjin is hot,” Jeongin said with a shrug, also in English, and Felix laughed. Jisung gasped.

“I’m so telling Seungmin you said that!”

Felix still didn’t know what the deal was with the two alphas, but he wasn’t going to figure it out now in any case. His friends continued bickering in Korean and Felix tried to concentrate on writing. 

That same evening Doek-su requested they dine together and then fucked him in Felix’ rooms. He seemed to have forgiven Felix for mouthing back, and Felix wished he would go back to being angry and keeping his distance. That marked the start of frequent nightly visits in which his husband got off and enjoyed himself thoroughly while Felix imagined it was Chan instead that hammered into him. 

At least the chance of him getting pregnant outside of his heat was essentially nonexistent. Felix’ eyes snapped open in the middle of the night, panic enveloping his heart. Getting pregnant.

The moment Chan knocked on his door the following morning, Felix pulled him into his room and closed the door behind them. He leaned against it with his back, as an extra precaution to ensure no one would barge in uninvited. His panicked eyes met Chan’s and the alpha stepped closer, frowning.

“Felix? Is everything alright?” Felix shook his head.

He hadn’t planned on taking a pill after his heat, too scared of what Doek-su would do were he to find out. But he hadn’t spent his heat with Doek-su only! He’d spent it with Chan, too. A young and presumably potent alpha that had even entered a rut briefly. That had knotted him.

“You – we – we had unprotected sex!” Felix blurted out in the end, cringing a little at the squeakiness of his voice. They’d been pretending nothing had happened, but the consequences were something they couldn’t ignore. Chan’s face relaxed and he let out a deep breath, as if in relief. Felix wasn’t relieved! “Hyung, I could be – we didn’t – you know what I’m saying, don’t you?”

“It’s okay, Felix,” Chan said and cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. He was looking anywhere but at Felix’ eyes. “There’s nothing to worry about. I’m sterile.”

Felix blinked and felt himself deflate too. “Oh.” Chan nodded and Felix swallowed, feeling awkward all of a sudden. He took a step forward, unsure what to say.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered and Chan smiled briefly while still avoiding his eyes. 

“I just wanted to let you know Changbin’s ready. Whenever you want to go, we’ll be waiting outside.” The alpha left quickly after that, obviously affected. Felix could tell it was a sensitive topic and decided not to bring it up again, but he wished there was something he could do for Chan. His own chest contracted at the idea of his bodyguard in pain. Yet again, he wondered why life was so unfair. Awful people like Doek-su could have a child of their own, while Chan, sweet and beautiful and loving Chan, couldn’t.

You can’t fix the whole world , a wise man told him a few months ago. Felix tried to accept that but it hurt something different when it was someone you loved that you couldn’t help.

Just like in all the times he went too deep into his own head, dancing was the solution. Changbin and Jisung tagged along that time, Changbin always ready to go in and receive Hyunjin’s eyerolls or yawns at all his flirtations and Jisung always ready to spend his free time talking off the ears of whoever would listen. 

Felix and the two dancers were working on a new choreography, something Hyunjin had come up with himself as part of his course work. It included a lot more small detailed movements and sex appeal than what they’d worked on previously but Felix loved it. He was already thinking of filming a video for his channel, if that was fine with Hyunjin and his teachers. He fell into a split and stayed low while Minho and Hyunjin jumped over him, and his eyes met Chan’s in the mirror. The alpha always watched intently as if Felix could get attacked mid-dance, his foot tapping nervously. Felix wondered sometimes if the man got bored during his long dancing sessions, but didn’t have time to ponder now since he had to rejoin the dance.

“And for you,” Seungmin said, handing him the box of Chinese food. He arrived right after they were done with practice, warm food ready for everyone. Felix thanked and bowed his head a little.

“This is very appreciated, Seungminnie,” Changbin yelled and Hyunjin made a face.

“Do you have to be so loud?”

“If that’s the only way to catch your attention, then yes,” the omega replied and Felix giggled into his food.

“Where’s the cute one you bring along sometimes?” Hyunjin asked, looking directly at Felix as if Changbin wasn’t in the room.

“I’m right here,” Jisung announced, mouth full, and Hyunjin snickered.

“You look like a –” he said and Felix looked at Chan who snorted.

“A critter,” the alpha translated quietly just as Minho slapped Hyunjin’s wet neck.

“Stop being cheeky or I’ll stuff you in the air fryer at 200 degrees!” Their bickering was a lot more fun when Felix could understand it. He broke into laughter.

—

One of the things Felix would have never expected to see himself doing is attending a red carpet event at the opening night of a movie. Well, he’d also never thought he’d live in a mansion, operate a fundraiser (with a shadow director behind him) or have seventeen million followers on Instagram but life was just full of surprises. 

Doek-su had sponsored the movie under question, a Korean historical drama, as an avid history buff and a nationalist, and thus had to walk the carpet with his plus one. With Felix. Alongside Korean celebrities, with hundreds of cameras pointed at him. Now that was definitely an adventure and something new that deserved a place on his YouTube channel. Felix recorded some clips discreetly while they waited for their turn then hastily handed his phone to Chan as Doek-su pulled his hand to drag him towards the carpet. An actual red carpet!

Felix’ excitement at that died out quickly once he was blinded with an avalanche of cameras. He tried to push down the nerves and smile, pose, just like their publicist had shown and he’d rehearsed about a dozen times in front of the mirror. Just when he thought they were almost done, a journalist stopped them in place and Felix bit down a groan.

“Hello, Mr. Choi. It is great to see you here – the movie wouldn’t have become reality if not for you!”

“Ah, well,” Doek-su chuckled, shaking his head, faking looking bashful. Felix almost rolled his eyes. “I think this is a beautiful story and it’s worth telling – over and over. The moment I found out Jihun is going to direct, I knew I had to get involved. The man has a passion, a vision, and knows how to tell a story.” Felix didn’t understand some of the words but tried to fill them in using context.

“There are rumors that you have a cameo in the movie!” 

Felix tuned out of the conversation, his eyes finding Chan’s face in the distance, inbetween the photographers. The alpha smiled and held up Felix’ phone, filming through the crack of bodies. Felix bit down a smile.

“– my beautiful wife!” Felix snapped back to the present when he realised Doek-su had switched to English. He forced on a smile and looked at the journalist.

“Mr. Choi, you look exquisite tonight! What is this suit?” the woman asked in accented English as well and held the microphone under his nose. Felix’ eyes flickered to the camera nervously and then he tried to focus on her face instead.

“Uh, just Dolce and Gabbana. Well, not just just – It’s a beautiful brand and I love it but it’s not something extremely expensive or – well, of course it’s a luxury fashion brand but –”

“Calm down, baby,” Doek-su said in a sweet tone with a grin and leaned in closer to brush their noses together. Felix grew redder and gulped, afraid to say anything more or move away. They had appearances to keep up. “He isn’t used to this sort of publicity,” his husband explained to the lady who laughed and cooed.

“Well, don’t let me make you any more uncomfortable, Mr. Choi! Thank you for stopping by.” 

“That could have gone smoother,” Doek-su hissed in his ear and Felix swallowed. For once he agreed with his husband. “Did you not read the notes they left you?”

“I did! I just – I panicked,” Felix gritted out and Doek-su sighed. 

“I’m going over there, to speak with ELLE Korea. You hang around and try not to panic.” Felix gave him a petulant nod and watched his husband step away. If it were up to him, Felix would have just gone back inside and hid in the coat garderobe. Even with the etiquette classes, he didn’t know how to act in front of a crowd or an audience. This wasn’t his YouTube channel where authenticity and imperfections were encouraged – and he could do a second take if very necessary. He wondered just how bad his blunder was going to reflect on the company image. Doek-su wasn’t going to be pleased in the end. Felix sighed.

“That went well, eh?” Felix spun around and gave Chan a glare as the alpha handed him his phone. “Sorry, sir.” Felix rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Dolce and Gabbana will never let me wear anything of theirs in public ever again.” 

“Good that it’s not a brand you actually like that you’re losing then.” Felix met Chan’s eyes again and gave him a small smile. Chan grinned back with a wink. There was commotion suddenly to the side and Felix stepped closer as he watched the paparazzi rain down upon the main star of the show as she paraded the red carpet confidently. Even seeing someone else get suffocated by the vultures raised his hackles. “Quick, tell me all the colors on her dress,” Chan said in Korean and Felix blinked.

“What? Now?” he asked, in Korean, and Chan nodded. Felix gave him a look and turned back to the actress. “Alright. Blue, yellow, black. Uhh…”

“Purple,” Chan supplied quietly.

“Purple! And gold – her shoes.”

“Very well. Tell me about the movie – in Korean only!”

Chan’s odd tactics did help Felix relax and he managed to get through the rest of the evening, filming some more for his vlog. During the screening, he also took some footage of a couple of scenes – with the producers’ explicit permission – and he already had an idea in his head about the narrative of his video.

That evening, Felix stumbled into the mansion feeling drained. Doek-su grabbed onto his ass and pressed him against the wall, mouth latching onto his neck. 

“Wait, Doek-su –”

“Don’t whine,” his husband slurred and spun him around forcefully for a kiss.

Felix rarely ever won an argument against a sober Doek-su and he didn’t want to test his luck with a drunk one, so he gave in and pushed through his husband fucking him mercilessly and then leaving as usual.

The next day Felix awoke already feeling tired. He went through the motions, did his morning routine, ate a protein bar as he put together a vlog and released it, had a copious linner then settled into his comfortable bed – with fresh new sheets – to scroll mindlessly through TikTok. There was a video about him and despite all the advice he’d heard against keeping track of how the internet perceived him, he clicked on it.

Well, his fans worked hard! It was a montage from the previous night, of his time on the red carpet with the poster calling him cute for his interview blunder. Felix grew red and scrolled down to the next video. The title was Married to the richest man alive but only has eyes for the bodyguard . Felix watched intently as three scenes looped again and again. First one was of Doek-su dragging him towards the red carpet, Felix glancing pitifully in Chan’s direction. The second one showed him zoning out while his husband was being interviewed, and the third one was footage he hadn’t known existed – of him and Chan talking privately and smiling. They’d been practicing Korean at that time, Felix could recognise the moment.

He bit his lip and scrolled down. You can’t tell me nothing’s going on! was the title of the next video. There was footage of him and Doek-su on the red carpet again, as his husband answered a question, and Felix stopped the video to read the text. “You see that little smile as he’s staring into the crowd??” Felix played the video again and noticed himself grin and bite his lip to hide it. There was another scene taken from an odd angle by someone on the carpet. “Well guess who he was looking at!!” The video was zoomed in to show a blurry pixelated Chan standing among the paparazzi, smiling himself as he took a video of Felix. Felix swallowed and scrolled down again. 

Felix’ smile literally dropped the moment he was away from his bodyguard omg. Felix only read the title and decided to close the app. Fear unfurled in his chest. Was that what everyone in the public thought? Did Doek-su and his PR agents know? Was Felix supposed to tone down displaying his familiarity with his bodyguard – at least in public? It wasn’t as though the fans were really onto something, nothing was going on but – well, okay they did spend that one heat together but apart from that – he didn’t want Doek-su to get the wrong idea and do something stupid. Like fire Chan. 

He decided for now to pretend he hadn’t seen the videos. If his husband brought the topic up, then he was going to figure it out on the spot. He didn’t want to stop interacting with Chan the way he did. Chan and his friendship were among the few things that made Felix happy. 

Mind made up, Felix opened TikTok again and bit his lip. There was a clip he remembered from a very long time ago, one that he found his thoughts circling back to quite often. The hottest bodyguard in Korea , he typed into the search bar and almost immediately found the video he’d been looking for. Guiltily, he bookmarked that one and threw his phone to the side.

—

Felix couldn’t believe that he was finally done with his master thesis. It had dragged on a lot longer than initially expected with his marriage and relocation and picking up a myriad of other responsibilities. But he was done!

There was of course the final presentation still left to do – which was also why he was back in Australia – but once that was out of the way, he was officially going to be done with one of his masters and hopefully able to enjoy a bit more free time than previously. Since it was only a couple of weeks after his parents’ anniversary, it had been decided to combine the two occasions, although Doek-su was only going to join him in Sydney two days after his presentation due to other engagements. 

His mother tried to console him over the fact while Felix tried hard not to let it show just how happy he was that his family wouldn’t be exposed to more Doek-su than strictly necessary. 

Felix walked out of the toilet stall and met Rachel’s eyes. She gave him a sympathetic smile. “That nervous?” He sighed and shrugged. It had been a while since he’d puked his stomach out from nerves, but then again it also wasn't every day that he defended his thesis and wrapped up a whole degree. His stomach always bundled up whenever he had to talk in front of an audience, as the red carpet event had also shown.

“I guess, a bit yeah.” Felix washed his hands while Rachel rummaged through her bag.

“At least don’t let the others know,” she said with a grin and handed him a packet of mints. Felix chuckled and took two.

The presentation itself actually went fine. He’d been practicing for a week straight, forcing Jeongin and Seungmin to sit through him presenting on the big screen in the living room, and refining the look of his slides with Hyunjin and Minho at the dance studio, and getting Chan to time him again and again and help him iron out his intonation. He was ready! It was mostly the questions after that he was concerned about.

“Why did you choose to have one group of participants interact with an already existing app?” Chan asked once his first reader gave the word to the audience. Felix blinked, surprised, but then opened his mouth – he was more than ready to answer this question in particular! The two of them had just discussed exactly that topic three days prior.

“Well, that’s just the control group. If we are to release a new app with a completely new set of functionalities and a new branding, we need to know what the existing user base within the target domain will think – how they will receive it. One aspect to that is understanding what they like and dislike about the already existing products in the market…”

The rest of the questions went well too, and then Felix was done. He was done! A celebration was of course in order and Felix found himself sitting between Olivia and Rachel at the Italian restaurant that his family always went to when there was an occasion. 

“Congratulations on your master degree, son!” his father said and raised his soda bottle in the air. 

“Congratulations!”

“Well done!”

Felix blushed and lifted his own glass of sparkling water before they all took a sip. “Now that you’re doing one less degree, you should have more time to visit us,” his mom said with a raised eyebrow and Felix chuckled.

“I hope so, but I can’t promise anything. You know how busy things get over there…”

“We’d know more if you called more often,” his dad chimed in and Felix groaned.

“Young man, you’re with our Felix all the time, aren’t you?” It took Felix a few seconds before he registered his mother was talking to Chan, who stood a couple of feet behind him. Felix turned to meet the eyes of his bodyguard, who looked like a deer caught in head lights. “Please remind him to call more often. We miss him here.” Chan looked awkward and shy and Felix grinned, enjoying the rare opportunity to watch him squirm. Chan narrowed his eyes at him and then turned to his mother.

“That’s what I keep telling him. He just doesn’t listen!” Felix’ mouth fell open.

“Hyung!”

“I like this boy. Why don’t you come sit with us?” his mother started looking around for an available chair and Chan sent Felix a panicked look.

“Uh, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m supposed to work and –”

“It’s fine, Channie. Come join. I can’t eat the whole pizza anyway,” Felix said and reached out to grasp the alpha’s sleeve. 

“You can sit next to Rachel,” Olivia piped in and Rachel hissed.

“Jesus, Olivia, you just don’t know when to shut up, do you?” Felix laughed and dragged Chan closer.

Later that evening after they all went to sleep, Felix slipped out of his bed quietly and entered the living room where Chan was lying on the couch. They didn’t have any more beds to offer (for now!) but Chan had agreed to sleep there quickly – closer to the front door anyway. The alpha wasn’t asleep yet and Felix could see his eyes track him in the dark as he approached. “Hey,” he greeted quietly and Chan got up into a sitting position, giving him space to sit as well. Felix did.

“Hi.”

“I just – I wanted to thank you for what you did earlier, hyung. At the presentation.” Felix’ chest had been warm and full of – full of emotion the whole day. He’d complained to Chan just the previous night about having to cut out parts of his research from the presentation in the interest of time, given his supervisor’s feedback. And Chan had not only listened attentively as usual, but also made sure to ask questions about those exact parts so that Felix could get to talk about them anyway. Questions that he was certain Felix could confidently answer, too. Chan was – Chan was special.

“Ah, it was nothing. You were worried about the questions, I thought I could fill up some of the time with things you know the answer to.” It wasn’t nothing and they both knew that. Felix smiled at him and grabbed his hand, squeezing. Chan squeezed back.

“You should join me in the bed,” Felix said impulsively and Chan’s eyebrows jumped in his hairline. Felix hurried to continue, “Look, I know how shitty this couch is. Your back will be fucked tomorrow, and if there was a threat you’d literally be useless. And besides, it won’t be the first time you’ll sleep in the same bed with me. My sisters sleep like the dead, so nothing to worry about there!” Chan huffed and shook his head.

A few minutes later they were both climbing into Felix’ twin sized bed, Chan spooning him from the back and Felix pressing as close as possible, barely keeping the grin off his face. “Good night, Lixie.”

“Good night, Channie.”

Felix fell asleep with a smile on his face and felt like barely any time passed before Chan was extracting himself away. He whined and the alpha leaned to brush their noses together, quietly shushing him. “Sorry, love, but I heard your father wake up. I should go back to the couch.” Felix pouted.

“아니요,” he protested in a whisper and Chan chuckled before kissing his forehead.

“Get some more sleep, alright?”

No one caught them sharing Felix’ bed for the next night either and then Doek-su was arriving and they could show Felix’ family their new, enormous home. All four of them cried and Felix joined in, feeling emotional himself. His mother’s ecstatic face and Olivia running around the spacious living room and giggling gave him drive. They were why he was putting up with all that he did in Korea, and it was worth it.

“I know Chan slept in your bed,” Rachel whispered into his ear as they hugged at the airport. He froze and she gripped him tighter. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I hope you know what you're doing and that everything is alright. Or that you’ll tell us when it isn’t.” Felix swallowed and pulled away, giving her a small smile.

“Of course. All is well, I promise, Rach.” She studied his face for a few seconds and then nodded. He drew her back into a hug and let out a shuddered breath.

—

Felix had come to dislike attending Choi Inc.’s fancy parties, which Doek-su insisted on calling galas. They were always planned in beautiful, gigantic ballrooms so Felix had to give him that. He would have loved them, what with all the dancing and fancy food and opportunity to socialise – even if rather limited given the still persistent language barrier when it came to corporate terminology. However, Doek-su insisted on him cutting down on the dancing and eating and upping his game when it came to mingling with important people and leaving good impressions. The more important they were, the more likely it was they knew English, too. Felix had also consistently been learning Korean for a few months now, and the deeper he went into it with Chan – and with his other friends too – the more enjoyable it was. He found himself having conversations with Minho and Hyunjin without the need for a translator nowadays, and he hoped he’d get better and better.

In any case, the worst galas were those he was also expected to speak at. Like the current one. Maybe it was the nerves again, but Felix had to rush to the restrooms, lock himself in and puke his guts out. He felt nauseous and oddly, it had started quite suddenly too, even though he had been nervous about his short speech the whole day – and even the whole last few days. He flushed the toilet and sat down on it, feeling exhausted. At least it was just a nervous stomach that was going to go away at the end of the night and not –

Felix froze. 

He’d thrown up before his thesis presentation. And a couple of more times since. His stomach had been churning at quite a lot of foods recently. He suddenly remembered with panic that Chan hadn’t brought him a pill during his last post-heat, and while Chan was sterile, Doek-su wasn’t. Fuck.

The moment he put two and two together, he felt terror sink into his body. With shaking hands and a quickened breathing, he cleaned himself up and walked out of the restroom. Chan was standing by the door, one hand on his earpiece, head tilted slightly as he listened. He said something back in Korean quietly and Felix felt like he could recognise some of the words, but didn’t have the capacity for that. The alpha then clasped his hands in front of his body, stepping closer. Felix came to his side and they started to move towards the ballroom again. Felix’ speech on the sum collected by the fundraiser in the past quarter and how it would be spent was going to start very soon.

"Everything alright, sir?" Chan asked quietly, always knowing everything, and Felix shook his head. 

"All fine," he said despite that and lifted his phone before putting it back into the inner pocket of his suit. Chan nodded and only once they were lined up at the front row by the podium did he check his phone discreetly. It was one of those messages that disappeared after being read and Chan’s eyebrows furrowed at that. His charge rarely ever sent such secretive messages, not even after his heat when asking for company. 

Could you please discreetly pick up a few pregnancy tests at first opportunity? Chan stared for what felt like an eternity. Then he turned off the phone screen, and looked at Felix wordlessly, keeping any reaction from his face. The omega glanced at him from the side of his eye and then turned back to his husband on stage, lips pursed. Then Choi was pointing at him and Felix forced a smile on, looking around with a hand in the air and slowly stepping up towards the podium. 

Later that night, in the middle of the night in fact, Chan bought five tests, from different brands, just to be sure. Felix peed on all of them in the privacy of his bathroom. One was wonky, undecided, but the other four were in agreement. He was pregnant. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. He shook his head, closing his eyes, taking in shaky breaths. They were still positive when he looked at them again. All air left his lungs.

Felix had insisted he stayed alone in the bathroom for this, but the moment he flopped down on the toilet and started bailing, the door opened and Chan walked in quickly, kneeling down by him without looking at the tests. The result was obvious, Felix supposed, given his reaction. "Felix, hey, Lix, look at me. We'll figure it out, okay? No one can force you to have a child if you don't want it, okay?" 

"I want a kid – just – just not like this, not now," Felix mumbled and Chan pulled him into a hug. 

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. But we can deal with it. Do whatever you think has to be done. I will make sure your decision is final, okay? I swear to you, Felix. I got you." Felix nodded against him, grateful for the support. "Let me know once you've decided, alright?" Felix nodded again and tried to calm down. 

He'd already decided, however. He needed time. First of all, relations with his husband were at an all-time low, not having spent any quality time together since his last heat except at work-related activities, the visit to his parents and the few times Doek-su had been horny enough to request his presence – and the heat in question had gone just splendidly. He also still felt like an alien in a foreign land, although he was at least trying his best to learn the language. Then there was dancing. As stupid as it sounded, dancing was important to him – he didn't want to give that up and he just knew having a child changed life drastically. Even if it didn’t, Doek-su had been more than vocal about his desire for a full house. Felix expected to be impregnated again at first opportunity. Not to even speak of his… overall state of being. He was barely keeping himself together currently, relying on his friends to get him through the days most of the time; he was in no position to take care of another human being. On his own too – his husband was ready to hire an army of strangers to raise the kid instead of looking after them himself and that went against all of Felix’ instincts. 

“I’ll get rid of this and you can maybe prepare for bed? Lix?” Felix’ head snapped in Chan’s direction and he gave him a tight smile.

“Yes, thank you.” Chan squeezed his hand before he left. 

Felix couldn’t keep the baby. That much was obvious. Over the next couple of days, he did some research and found a clinic that catered specifically to omegas who needed confidentiality – rape victims, domestic abuse victims, human trafficking survivors. He didn’t fit any of those descriptions but after a talk with the woman in charge, it was clear that he was approved for a procedure at the practice. They made an appointment and Felix had to just bite his tongue and survive the eight days until then. Life felt like a blur during that long week.

Changbin drove them there, and Felix was glad the clinic was registered as a clinic for omega health and didn’t specifically have a billboard sign shouting “abortion.” He really liked Changbin but he wasn’t going to trust more people than absolutely necessary with this information. Changbin parked and looked backwards at him. “I’ll wait here.”

“Thank you,” Felix said in Korean as well and Changbin nodded with a smile. Chan was already leaving the car and Felix moved to follow but Chan suddenly blocked his way, stopping him in place. Felix looked up at him with questioning eyes and took in Chan’s clenched jaw and pinched face.

“We should go back,” he said through his teeth and made to push Felix further back into the vehicle but a voice called out from behind. 

“Now, now, be a good doggie and stay! Not so fast.” Felix gave out a full body shiver and scooted backwards, leaning against the seat and trying to keep his breathing calm. He squeezed his eyes shut. His husband couldn’t be here. No. He just couldn’t. No. No, no, no. He was ruining everything. 

“Sir –”

“Step aside, Chan.” 

“Sir, this is –” 

“Shut up, midget. Step aside if you know what’s good for you. I’m here to talk to my husband. Did I accidentally marry you without knowing?” Felix swallowed at the dangerous tone and gasped for air.

“Chan, please do as he says.” He didn’t want the alpha being mocked or getting into trouble over Felix’ decisions.

“Good boy,” Doek-su sneered and Felix realised Chan had moved away. Then his husband was stepping into the car and sitting next to him. Felix stood in place, unmoving, eyes closed. Maybe his husband didn’t know? How could he know!? Doek-su spoke again, “Read the room, will you? This is between me and Felix.” Felix’ eyes flew open, confused, and his gaze met Changbin’s in the rearview mirror. The omega gave him an apologetic look as he took his leave. 

Then they were inside the car on their own. Chan and Changbin were standing right outside, however, so Doek-su wasn’t going to do anything bad, right? Well, the back windows were tinted. But at least there were no balconies he could throw Felix off this time. Felix didn’t dare meet his husband’s eyes.

“Of course it’s that heat that gets you bred. You just need to take it rough, don’t you?” His husband was laughing and Felix burned with shame, not even finding an argument against that. It really was that heat that did the job. “Do you want to admit where you were about to go yourself or are you also going to try to lie to me on top of hiding your pregnancy?” Felix swallowed and he kept looking forward, scared to say anything. “Answer me, Felix,” his husband hissed and grabbed his hair to pull his face closer and force their eyes to meet. “Are you going to lie to me and say you weren’t about to go and abort a baby? You’ve already pissed me off enough today, be careful how you choose to answer this or you’ll be spending your birthday in a hospital bed.” Felix shook his head. Lying was the worst thing he could do at that point. 

“Please, understand, I – I’m too young, I’m not ready to be a mother, I just – I need a bit of time,” he pleaded, trying to appeal to Doek-su’s limited humanity. Truth be told, Felix was young, yes, but his mother had had him when she was 23 and he turned out fine – he hoped – so he knew he’d be able to handle a child, especially because he’d always wanted one. He just didn’t think he’d be able to handle one in his current context. Doek-su was the problem. Not that Felix was going to say that outright.

“You have nine months to get ready, Felix,” his husband growled and Felix shook his head.

“Please, give me more time. I – I want to settle in better here, and – and –” 

“Listen to me, Felix. I need heirs. You have one purpose as my omega and that is to give me heirs. Why do you think you’re here, getting pampered and living the best life there is? You have just this one job and you will do it, do you hear me? You don’t get to complain when you’re living in this luxury and can get whatever you want.” 

“I can’t decide what happens to my body,” Felix whispered, feeling broken, the tears finally starting to roll down his face. 

“I’m your alpha. Your body is mine – you agreed to that a year ago in the church and when signing the documents. And what you almost did today? That wasn’t something I agreed to. You were going to get rid of my baby, Felix. Without even telling me there was a baby in the first place! I don’t appreciate that.” Felix swallowed, a part of him understanding where Doek-su came from. He opened his mouth but his husband gripped his hair tighter suddenly and slammed his head into the front seat. Felix yelped, a hand coming to clutch at his nose. “Listen to me and listen well. That money that went to your family’s new house? That is paying off all your study debts and is going to put your sisters through college? That’s allowing your mom to do treatments? All that money comes from me. If you do something like this again, I can very quickly stop all these generous donations and contact a few people, make sure I ruin them. I’ll ruin you too. You will find yourself unhirable in six continents and begging me for help. So, Felix, do you want to go the easy way or the hard way? The choice is yours.”

Felix was openly crying now, tears mixing with blood on his face, scared not just about himself. Doek-su had never threatened his family before and Felix realised that all these gifts he’d made him had just confined Felix further, tied him tighter to his husband and left him no option to leave. Doek-su took out the napkin from his breast pocket and threw it in his lap. Felix sobbed out as he took it to wipe his face, feeling like he was digging himself deeper even just with that small action.

No, Felix didn’t simply need time. No time was ever going to fix what they had between them, was going to change the way his husband treated him. Felix needed another life. 

“Let me know what your decision is at your earliest convenience.” His husband opened the door and was faced with Chan who crowded him against the entrance. He raised an eyebrow and Chan took a step sideways, hands clenched. “You should train your dog better, Felix, if you don’t want me to throw him back out on the street,” Choi called out, eyes not leaving Chan’s. Chan held his gaze for a few seconds, but knew better than to challenge him now. He looked down in a clear sign of submission, hating himself for it, and could see Choi grin. The bastard straightened his suit and then waltzed away towards his own car, his bodyguard accompanying him. 

Chan watched him go, unwilling to drop his guard until the man was truly out of his sight. Changbin opened the other side of the back and his eyes widened. “Felix, are you okay?” Felix shook his head and threw the bloody napkin on the ground by his feet. 

“Do you have tissues?” he sputtered out nasally and Changbin nodded, closing the door to go rummage through the glove box at the front. Chan entered the car then and took a look at Felix’ face. He growled but Felix reached out one hand towards him. 

“It’s fine, I’m fine. You should stop opposing him – he’ll fire you,” he said through tears, the sobbing starting to tone down now that the alpha and a close omega were with him and Doek-su was gone. 

“I don’t give a fuck, he shouldn’t be allowed to–” 

“I give a fuck. Don’t leave me, please,” Felix said over him, his voice softening at the end. Chan clenched his teeth and nodded once. Changbin handed him napkins from the front and Felix started dabbing on his face again. “Don’t leave us,” Felix added and looked away, suddenly nervous. 

“Felix…” Chan started quietly and Felix swallowed, looking up and meeting Changbin’s eyes instead, reverting to Korean.

“Could you please drive back home?” Changbin met Chan’s eyes briefly as he nodded and left the car again to round it and sit in the driver’s seat. Felix finally leaned back against the cushions and avoided Chan’s eyes. Chan seemed to get the memo and didn’t press more. 

The moment Felix was back home, he made a call to the clinic, apologizing for his absence and declining a reschedule. He paid them in full for their trouble and took his goodbye. He went out on his little balcony and sat down on one of the chairs with a sigh. One hand made it on his flat stomach and he heaved a deeper sigh. He was going to be a parent in a few months whether he liked it or not. Just when he’d started feeling like he was maybe slowly escaping the prison, able to dance, visit family, spend time with friends, he’d been brutally reminded there was no way out. 

He was probably going to stop dancing now, isolate himself from Minho and Hyunjin, be unable to do much work and lose all social contact with his coworkers and the few students he’d befriended at the Business Master programme. He was going to start keeping to his rooms again, to actively avoid Doek-su, and minimise his time with Jisung, Jeongin, Changbin, Seungmin and Chan. He was going to slowly go back to being alone, back to zero. All because of this unwanted baby! It was all going to go the worst way possible because Felix’ fate was obviously to be miserable. His thoughts spiraled for a long time, alone on his small balcony as the sun set.

In the end, he noticed the sky was dark and the goosebumps on his skin urged him to go in the warmer room. Exhausted from the events of the day, Felix flopped face-first on his bed and closed his eyes. Then, upon an impulsive thought, he flipped back to lie on his back – just in case the other position was somehow harmful to the baby.

The baby. Felix rubbed his eyes with a groan when he realised he was being cautious when it came to a literal bundle of cells, one that he didn’t even want to be growing inside him. Then he felt a pang of guilt. At how negative he was being and at how unwanted he had made the baby feel until now – well, it was less than 2 months old, its capability to feel definitely hadn’t developed yet. But it was his baby, growing in his stomach, and about to join his dysfunctional family. Whether he liked the circumstances around the child’s conception, it was his child. At the very least, it was a child that had done nothing to deserve his ire. Even if the baby’s sire was an awful person that didn’t care, the child was going to be born anyway and it could either be forced to grow up with two unloving parents or… Felix could love that kid enough for both of them. 

Yes, Felix was going to do good by them. Felix was nothing if not responsible and caring of his own, raised by an amazing mother and role model that was going to have his ass if he decided to abandon his own child or throw himself into depression over their existence. The best thing he could do in his frankly shitty situation was make sure his child was happy and healthy, receiving love and attention and everything they needed! It was the two of them against the world now. And Felix was going to make sure they never ended up like him one day. He cried again, with a mix of emotions.

That night, he visited Doek-su’s office to tell him he would keep the baby. “I see you’re not that stupid then.” His husband was grinning as he signed off some document, and Felix didn’t find it funny. “I’ll have my secretary make appointments for you with the obgyn. I’ll be coming along for these. I know you sometimes find it very hard to listen to instructions, beautiful, but try not to get yourself harmed in any way. You’re living for two after all. The baby should be your utmost priority. But I don’t want you slacking. I’m sure now with the pregnancy you’ll have plenty of free time to study and work on the fundraiser.” Felix felt like a soldier being given orders. 

It was Friday and he usually had dinner with Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin on these days but that time he stayed back in his room, asking for dinner to be delivered instead. There was a knock and he invited what he presumed was Seungmin with his food in. It was Chan. Felix looked down at his hands. The alpha brought a plate and placed it on the small table in front of him quietly.

“You’re keeping the baby,” Chan commented and Felix placed his arms over his stomach protectively. 

“I’m keeping the baby,” he confirmed, lifting his chin in defiance. 

“Felix, no – I told you it’s your body, you decide. I’m not judging you. I just – I feel like your decision might have been heavily influenced.” 

“Does it matter? A decision has been made.” Chan looked torn and Felix bit back a remark. He didn’t want them to fight over this. He was struggling with accepting it enough on his own. He didn’t need his closest confidant to also question him, especially when nothing could be changed. He needed Chan’s support, not his judgment. He realised his scent was souring the air but he couldn’t keep that in. He reached out to pick up the plate of bibimbap and place it on his lap but Chan grabbed his hand before it got there. He squatted down by the armchair and looked up at Felix. 

“I’m here for you Felix. For both of you.” His eyes flickered down to his stomach and Felix blinked, eyes widening. “I will protect both of you, you have my word.” 

“You’ll protect his child?” he asked because he was petty and he was scared. He needed to go all the way and confirm that Chan wasn’t going to change his mind even then.

“It’s your child too.” Felix blinked back tears and nodded slowly, free hand reaching out to caress the alpha’s cheek. 

“Thank you, Channie-hyung.”

Chapter Text

Felix found himself emptying his stomach more often than not. 

His first appointment with the obgyn had gone well, the pregnancy confirmed and an ultrasound conducted. There was a grainy blob on the screen and that was his baby. It was ten weeks old, only qualifying to be called a fetus but Felix had been calling it a baby long before the appointment and he was going to continue doing so. 

The moment the sound of the baby’s heartbeat reached his ears Felix gasped and felt himself get teary. Despite not having wanted the kid initially, he was warming up to the idea of their existence fast. There would be small baby feet running around the mansion, making it feel like a home moreso than a prison. He couldn’t wait. Felix reached out instinctively towards his husband and to his surprise, Doek-su grabbed his hand and kept it in his for the rest of the appointment. He just let their hands hang between them in the air, however, and Felix felt like pulling away, unsatisfied with the lack of emotion, but he knew he couldn’t be too greedy and had to count his blessings. 

The obgyn warned him morning sickness was sometimes quite prominent, and not only during mornings. She did recommend a specific tea that usually helped soothe the stomach and Felix noted that down gratefully. She provided more tips on what to expect, including tender breasts, bloating, moodiness, tiredness – things Felix had already expected to hear about. She also warned him to be mindful of lifting heavy objects and overexerting himself or overstressing, but otherwise cleared him for physical activities, including sex – she’d said that with a smirk in his husband’s direction and Felix wondered why that was considered appropriate. He could still dance, however, for now, and Felix was going to focus on that instead of his husband’s satisfaction that they were still allowed to fuck. 

The morning sickness did hit hard. And always at the most inconvenient places and times, as if the baby waited for him to show up at the company or the dancing studio and only then decided to make him return his meal the same way it went down. Felix emptied his stomach and spat out bile in the end, heaving as he leaned against the dirty public toilet. Chan held back his hair with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. 

“God, kid, we need to have a talk. I want to still be functioning while pregnant,” he moaned and heard Chan chuckle behind him. 

He – they, collectively with Doek-su – decided not to announce it to their family and friends yet, wishing to enter the second trimester before going public. According to Chan and his sharp nose, his scent had only barely changed so he could go on like that for a bit longer. Changbin was aware, Felix knew, even though they hadn’t talked about it. There were a lot of clues for him to put two and two together, but he hadn’t brought it up to Felix and Felix was grateful for it. He didn’t seem to have told the rest of their friends and Felix appreciated that even more.

Soon enough his second school year of the Business master started up and he was attending lectures online and doing homework like before. He still danced and practiced Korean – and Chan said he was doing so well already! Most of his conversations with his friends were carried out completely in Korean and Felix was extremely proud of himself – and still attended meetings and worked on raising money for their collaboration with an organization cleaning up the ocean. It was almost as though he wasn’t literally carrying another person inside him; with the exception of all the throwing up and random muscle aches and mood swings, life just went on. 

—

Felix’ family visited for his birthday, like the year prior, and he was more than happy to have them around. He’d stayed back in the mansion as Changbin and Chan went to pick them up from the airport, because his stomach had been acting out the whole day. The moment they stepped into the hallway, he threw his arms around his mother. She coughed as she laughed and he pulled away to take a proper look at her.

“Are you okay?” he asked, suddenly concerned as he took in her pale face. She didn’t seem too well.

“Ah, just doing the chemo rounds again. You shouldn’t worry, I’m getting the best treatments possible in the world!” She chuckled and Felix smiled tightly as Olivia came to hug him too.

“You smell different,” Rachel said as she joined the embrace and Felix watched as his dad sniffed the air, too. His mother’s senses were blasted to hell with all the medications and radiation she was receiving and Olivia’s beta nose wasn’t as sensitive to scents, so it made sense that the two alphas picked up on it first. Felix bit his lip and untangled himself from his sisters.

“Yeah, uh, there’s something I wanted to tell you actually.” He took in a deep breath and his mother gasped, looking down at his belly before he even got the words out. “I’m pregnant!”

“Oh, my baby is going to have a baby!” She threw her hands around him again and Felix chuckled, holding onto her for dear life. His eyes met his father’s and he received a nod in approval.

“I’m happy for you, son.”

“Wow, you really are a boring adult now, aren’t you?” Olivia asked and Felix rolled his eyes.

“Oh my God, Olivia!”

They were happy for him. They were thrilled even, and Felix had to admit that it fueled his own excitement about the fact. His mother was already discussing coming over around the due date, and his sisters were already trying to help him pick out names. He preferred not to think about the baby’s fast approaching arrival yet, so he zoned out for the majority of the conversation but still enjoyed his family’s affections.

Once the cat was out of the bag for his family, he decided to tell his friends as well. It was only so long he could pretend his scent wasn’t changing and he wasn’t puking his guts out every few hours. After his family flew back to Australia, Felix invited the whole gang over for dinner in a joint celebration of his and Jisung’s birthday. Doek-su had caught the first plane to China after the departure of Felix’ family and wasn’t due to be back in a full week, so Felix had the whole mansion at his disposal.

“No, you’re not getting any alcohol! If you get drunk, you’re not sleeping in my room!” Changbin yelled and Jisung gasped, holding his empty glass close to his chest. Seungmin made a face as the omega almost spilled the whiskey on the table.

“It happened once, hyung!”

“What happened?” Minho asked and Felix nodded along, just as interested.

“This idiot sleep walks when he’s drunk! I’m not going to babysit him when I could be sleeping!”

“I didn’t even do something that weird,” Jisung complained, looking away but then he met Chan’s eyes. Chan raised an eyebrow and Jisung flushed. “Okay! So I tried to get out of the room once. Once!”

“Through the window,” Chan added dryly and Felix gasped. Hyunjin burst out laughing and patted Minho’s back.

“Minho-hyung would love to babysit you, I’m sure,” he teased and Minho turned around, hand raised ready for a slap.

“Watch your mouth, you overgrown kiwi!”

“Save me, Innie,” Hyunjin whined in a high-pitched tone. Jeongin blinked and got up from his chair, unsure what to do.

“He’s a baby with baby noodle arms. I’ll save you,” Changbin announced and got up as well. “Sit back down, Jeongin-ah, before your boyfriend skins you.” Felix turned to Seungmin who was glaring at Jeongin and the youngest of them all grinned sheepishly.

“A jealous boyfriend. Hot,” Hyunjin said with a wink and Seunmin’s mouth fell open. Jeongin snapped his fingers in front of the boy’s face angrily and Chan fell backwards in his chair, laughing. Felix was confused but entertained so he laughed as well.

“Anyway, you want some too?” Seungmin asked him suddenly, holding up the whiskey bottle with a mischievous grin. Felix shook his head, his smile disappearing as he gathered courage to come clean.

“Actually…” He cleared his throat and realised everyone had quieted down and was looking at him. “I, uh, I wanted to tell you guys something.” Felix glanced at Chan who gave him an encouraging smile. “I’m pregnant,” he blurted out and was met with silence. He looked around, at all of them, self-consciously.

“Oh, did you think we don’t know?” Jisung asked with a gasp and dramatically spun around. Changbin laughed and Chan rolled his eyes, sending them a glare. 

“Wait, did you know?” 

“Baby, you smell so very pregnant,” Jisung said with a shake of his head. 

“Also, you’ve been puking in every possible toilet like you’re marking your territory,” Seungmin added and Chan nudged him in the arm with a pointed look. 

“And like, you’ve been so careful doing any jump or high kick, with one hand on the stomach as if you’re already about to go into labor,” Hyunjin said with a snort. Jeongin snickered as he stood up. 

“But congratulations are in order, Felix!” he exclaimed and stepped close for a hug. Felix smiled at that and brought the boy as close as possible, his alpha scent soothing. 

“Congrats!” Seungmin added and hugged both of them. Felix laughed and marveled at the attention of the two alphas.

“I’m happy for you, Felix! You’ll be a mom!” Jisung squealed and joined the hug, throwing himself over Seungmin, who made a displeased sound and pulled away.

“We’re all happy for you,” Changbin yelled and Felix grinned. 

“So how far along are you?” Jeongin asked as he clapped him on the shoulder and stepped aside as well. 

“Three months,” Felix admitted shyly while Hyunjin and Minho came closer. His eyes met the dimpled grin of Chan from the other side of the table and he felt as happy as he could be. He might have been dealt a poor hand but he was going to make the most of it. And the people he was slowly starting to think of as close friends were going to play a major part in that.

“Wait, so you’ll stop coming to the studio then?” Minho asked with a frown and Felix blinked. 

“Well, yes… For some time.” Minho shook his head and Hyunjin rolled his eyes, slapping him over the head. Minho glared at him and Hyunjin rushed to step away.

“What he wanted to say is that we’ll miss you. Congrats, Lixie!” Hyunjin announced and moved to hug him. Felix smiled as Minho reached out and ruffled his hair. 

“Congratulations indeed. You can bring them over for dancing lessons from the very beginning.” 

“Oh yes! We’ll make them a superstar!” Felix laughed at Hyunjin’s enthusiasm and shook his head.

“It’s not like I’ll disappear til they are five. For now I can still come. And… I’ll miss you too later on, so I might find an excuse to drop by – or have you drop by,” he admitted with a chuckle and Minho grinned at him. 

“Well, I hope we’ll be invited to the baby shower,” he said and Felix laughed but didn’t answer. He wasn’t even sure there was going to be one, but if there was, he would love to have all of his friends in one place.

“Oh, the baby shower! We should figure out gifts! Do you already know if it’s a boy or a girl?!” Jisung asked excitedly and Changbin snorted.

“A bit too early for that, Sungie…”

“Says the baby expert!”

—

Felix was a little self-conscious about his next video, but he’d shared everything in his life so far with his viewers, so he wasn’t about to stop now that he had a growing person inside him. It wasn’t like he could hide it anyway; once the media got their hands on it – and they were bound to, as he wasn’t going to stay confined to his room for the next nine months – the whole world would know. And Felix wanted it to all happen on his terms.

He needed to open the window. He was going to suffocate to death in his own room because of all the anxious pheromones he was releasing. Felix flopped back down onto the chair once he achieved his mission and turned the camera on.

“Hi all. This vlog will be a bit… different from the usual ones, and quite personal. I’ve grown to think of you as part of my family, and I think I’d like to give you those news myself instead of having you find out later on through an article. Also, I’m… excited and would like to share that with you.” God, Felix was already tearing up and he hadn’t even said anything of substance yet! That just had to be the pregnancy hormones. “I’m pregnant!” Felix laughed as he said it and picked up the sonogram from the desk to bring it close to the camera. “Look, that’s my little baby here.”

He cried at the sight of the little blob on the image, and babbled about all the ways in which his life was going to change. It was a mix of happy and confused and sad tears, but Felix knew overwhelmingly he was expecting this child with a heart full of love. It was a short video that he had to record in two parts, given his emotions, but in the end it was done. Requiring minimal touch-ups too, given how straight-forward it was. Felix could already post it within the hour and then closed all tabs, needing a minute to himself.

Do you think they have mango in the kitchen? he asked Chan via text and let out a sigh. He felt even more self-conscious now, but the deed was done. Everyone knew now, there was no taking it back. Felix bit his lip. He hoped the reception was going to be much more positive than the announcement of his position as a director. 

Felix glanced at his phone. There was an itch beneath his skin to check. He’d never been good at resisting. He opened YouTube again and looked at the fast accumulating comments under the video.

Oh my God! I’m so happy for you <3 They’ll be so pretty with you as their mom!!

I TOLD YALL HE’S GLOWING!!! CONGRATS FELIX!!!

Things are happening too fast, no? He’s still so young… I will be sad to see the dancing videos go… But I’m still happy for him if that;s what he wants

aaah congratulationssssss! i cant believe youve grown so much as a person and i’ve been here since you were just 18 positing vids with your mom of eating ice cream hahah i’m so proud felix omg <3 <3 cant wait to follow this journey of yours too <3 

There were many comments, majority of which barely legible and obviously excited. Felix smiled through teary eyes and almost swiped away a notification but then paused. There was already an article on it! There was another notification suddenly and an unknown number started ringing. Felix panicked and swiped down before throwing his phone on the bed. Okay, he wasn’t ready to read through and answer everything yet. The happy and elated reaction of his viewers was good enough for now.

A knock startled him and Felix almost jumped in the air. Then he recognised the pattern he and Chan had come up with and relaxed. “Come in!”

“Your mango, sir,” the alpha said as he walked in and Felix gasped, feeling his mouth water and the omega within purr.

“You shouldn’t have!” he protested as he took the bowl and immediately stuffed two pieces in his mouth. “God, it’s so good.” Chan chuckled and sat down on the couch, Felix following suit.

“It’s what?” he asked in Korean and Felix rolled his eyes.

“It’s tasty,” he answered and Chan nodded proudly. “Do you want mango?” Felix asked then and handed him one. They had to practice Korean!

When he went to the dining room later that evening, he could hear Doek-su on the phone and stopped at the doorway. He’d walked into the alpha’s work conversations a number of times and gotten a stern talking-down for the rude interruption. He wasn’t going to repeat that. “I say we discuss this further in person. Ah, would you like me to invite my lawyer as well? I would rather avoid any uncomfortable situations.” 

Despite the polite words, Doek-su’s voice was sleazy. Self-assured. Felix didn’t like the tone. There was silence for a few seconds.

“Wait, let me interrupt you for a moment. I advice you take a look at your mail. I would appreciate it if you review the booklet you’ll find there. Let’s say it that way: you withdraw your draft, and I withdraw mine, yeah?” Was he threatening someone? Felix’ eyebrows furrowed. “You have some time to make your decision, of course. I am actually late for dinner with the lovely omega in question, so if you’d excuse me, I’ll take my leave. I will be awaiting your call later this evening.” Felix’ breath hitched. He was the topic of conversation. “Felix, come out. It’s rude to eavesdrop. You’re acting as though you didn’t go through an etiquette course.”

Felix shuffled into the room and their eyes met. Doek-su raised an eyebrow and Felix cleared his throat. “Sorry, I didn’t want to distract and interrupt.”

“I could scent you approaching from far away, Felix. That’s also distracting.” Felix bit on his bottom lip to keep himself from saying something snappy. Was he not allowed to walk around the house lest he distract his always working husband? He could just never do anything right, could he? 

“What was this about?” he asked instead as he took a seat at the table. Seungmin walked out to serve food and they shared a small nod.

“Have you seen the public response to your video yet?” Doek-su countered and Felix took a deep breath.

“Only on YouTube. I've been avoiding the newspapers for now.” It was always them that wrote hurtful things. Felix wasn’t going to stay away from them forever, but it was an already emotional day. He was going to tackle all that tomorrow.

“YouTube is unimportant,” Doek-su said with a scoff and Felix frowned. YouTube was where the majority of his viewers were. It was important to Felix. “The public is happy that the Choi empire will be continued,” he continued and Felix nodded.

“That’s good.”

“There’s of course negative views as well. Some seem to think you’re with me only to provide me with heirs. Some are getting cocky with their stories,” Doek-su said with a small mocking grin and Felix stared, blank-faced. He couldn’t fault those people, he felt like a brood mare quite often too. Their eyes met and Doek-su’s smile diminished once he took a look at Felix’ face and whatever he found there. “Which is of course wrong.” Of course. Felix gave him a tight-lipped smile and looked down at his plate. He no longer wanted to know what that phone call had been about. “But we shouldn’t care what they think. As long as they talk about you and the kid, that’s good publicity. Me settling down and having a serious and stable relationship, becoming a family man – that will be great for stocks.”

Stocks, of course. Felix grit his teeth and took a sip from the glass of water that Jeongin poured for him. 

—

Felix continued dancing, although taking care and sitting out the more strenuous choreographies, just in case. Especially with his messed up back, he didn’t want to take any risks. For the slower songs, he could still dance like nothing had even changed, and he reveled in the fact. Something had changed however.

“Oh my God, you’re showing!” Hyunjin said with a gasp and Felix froze. They’d just finished a song and he was using his shirt to wipe at his sweaty forehead, exposing his usually flat belly. He removed the fabric from his face and looked down upon himself with wide eyes as the other two dancers approached. He couldn’t see anything from that angle but –

Looking at the mirrored wall, Felix gasped audibly too. There was an unmistakable bump. A very small one, looking like he’d enjoyed a large meal, but definitely there. He met the eyes of Chan in the mirror, the alpha having approached too, standing a couple of feet away and smiling happily. Felix automatically smiled back and looked at his other two friends. “I’m showing!” He threw his arms around Hyunjin and then pulled Minho into the hug as well, too excited to care about the man’s pretend-complaints. “I really am pregnant!”

“As if there was doubt about it,” Minho muttered and Felix rolled his eyes. But it really was a new type of confirmation. A visual proof beyond any other that could hardly be faked. He was going to be a parent very soon!

He was hyper aware of the bump after that. It might have been something he simply imagined, but it was as though some of his tight shirts were stretching at the belly a bit more than previously and the eyes of a lot of employees at the office were drawn to him more often than before. Felix didn’t necessarily enjoy the extra attention, but he had nothing to hide, and proudly paraded around with the small bump.

Felix absolutely hated the extra attention when it came from a mob, however. Because of course mobbing a pregnant omega on his way to grabbing lunch was just a normal thing to do. It was as though all the vultures had a sixth sense for his location at all times, or perhaps he’d gotten predicable with his choice of restaurants, because the moment Changbin parked in front of the place with cuisines from all over – perfect to satisfy any craving he could have – there was already a crowd forming.

“We can find another place,” Chan said lowly, but Felix felt stubborn. These random strangers couldn’t just stop him from enjoying the food he wished for or going about his every day life.

“I’m hungry,” Felix insisted and their eyes met. The alpha seemed to hesitate but then he sighed and gave him a nod. The door opened and Chan stepped out first, pushing a few people away. Felix got out and the bodyguard immediately embraced him, pulling him close and clearing a path to the best of his abilities.

“Mr. Choi, is it true that the baby is not your husband’s?”

“How is this pregnancy going to affect your recent promotion to fundraiser director?”

“Mr. Choi, is it a boy or a girl?”

“I love you Felix!”

“What kind of omega continues going to work when having a baby!?”

This time, Felix could mostly understand everything shouted at him, but he found that it didn’t help at all. Being surrounded by so many people, so many persistent and overwhelming alphas, and being yelled at, grabbed at, was still scary. One of his hands was on his belly the whole time, the other gripping Chan’s hoodie like a lifeline. The crowd was massive and just by the time they’d made it halfway onto the pavement, Felix broke down in tears. It was too much. Too many people, too many questions, too many scents, too many digs aimed at him, too many outstretched fingers reaching for his baby. He wanted to go back.

“Back, I wanna go back,” he whimpered into Chan’s neck. “Hyung, please.”

“Fuck off,” Chan snapped at someone around them as he rotated them around and started pulling Felix in the opposite direction. Felix’ head spun and he felt lost in his head for a moment or an hour, until suddenly things were quiet. He blinked, looking around the SUV he’d gotten accustomed to, Changbin staring back at him from the front seat and Chan sitting by his side, one hand clutching his. Felix squeezed his fingers tighter and focused on the alpha’s face. “You’re fine, Lix. You’re safe now. Are you hurt?”

Felix looked down at his body, at his belly that he was still holding protectively, and shook his head. Through teary eyes he turned to Chan again. “Please, I want pesto,” he begged and Chan nodded.

“Bin, go to the closest Italian place,” he ordered quickly in Korean before turning back to Felix. “We’ll get you pesto. For now, just breathe okay? Match my breathing. In – and out.” They continued with the breathing exercise for a couple of minutes until Felix felt a lot calmer and grounded, but Chan didn’t release his hold on Felix’ hand and that was greatly appreciated.

“You’re very good at this,” Felix said quietly while they waited at a red light. “Calming people down, regulating breathing, that sort of thing.”

“My sister used to get frequent panic attacks and I used to help out with those,” the alpha said with a shrug and Felix smiled. He was just the most caring and helpful person there was. “Also, I did undergo some first-aid trainings, to be a bodyguard. I might seem useless, but I can do a thing or two.” Chan chuckled dryly and Felix didn’t like his self-deprecating tone. Chan was the best person he knew, there was no doubt in Felix’ mind that he could do anything. 

“We arrived,” Changbin announced right as Felix opened his mouth. His stomach rumbled as if on command and Chan laughed.

“Let’s get some food in you, eh?”

—

Chan collected him from his home office for the obgyn appointment and Felix had to admit he’d have completely missed it if the alpha hadn’t taken him out of his concentration. As they stepped into the living room, Doek-su showed up dressed in a suit at the same time and Felix raised an eyebrow. “That’s very formal for a doctor’s appointment.” 

“Good that I’m going into a meeting then.”

“Wait, what? You said you’ll visit the appointments with me?” Felix asked, feeling crushed despite knowing he should have expected this. But Doek-su had been there for the first appointment – had held his hand even!

“Yes and I will come for the next one. But this is really important. A potential client from Japan is willing to talk but only today. A big client, Felix. This is for the good of you and the baby in the long run.” Felix grit his teeth and tried not to feel let down by the turn of events. His husband wasn’t someone he relied on for support and yet it hurt. He didn’t want to do this alone – for better or worse this concerned their child. But mostly, it hurt for the baby. Their father was already putting work before them and they weren’t even born yet.

“We’re finding out the gender today,” Felix blurted out, one last hope of catching and keeping the man’s attention. Seungmin entered the room with Doek-su’s coat and helped him put it on. 

“Oh? Well, you can tell me when you come back, beautiful. Let’s hope it’s a boy!” Felix hugged himself and frowned. 

“And if it’s a girl?” 

“There’s always the next one to look forward to! I need a proper heir.” He stepped up closer to Felix and brought him closer into a kiss, as if that was something they did. Felix pushed at his chest, unwilling to kiss back when that had been the sort of conversation right beforehand. His husband held him tightly for a few seconds longer and then let go. 

“Girls can be heirs, too,” Felix said a bit more heated than he’d expected, and Doek-su gave him a look. 

“I have to go. I’ll be back before dinner, I’ll expect you to join.” Felix glanced in Seungmin’s direction and the alpha looked away, pretending he hadn’t been following the conversation, probably to make Felix feel better but Felix knew he had seen and mostly understood the whole thing. He sighed and looked at Chan who stood to the side with a clenched jaw. 

“Let’s go,” he said and started walking towards the exit. He, unlike some others, could put on his coat himself.

Once Chan escorted him to the waiting room on the obgyn floor and the receptionist asked them to wait a few minutes, Felix started feeling nervous. They’d been chatting on the way there, mostly teasing Changbin about his obvious crush on Hyunjin, and now the silence was comfortable but – 

“Chan-hyung – I, uh – do you – I mean, I know it’s not – this will sound weird probably, but –”

“If you’d like me to come in with you, I can do that,” Chan said with a small smile and Felix blinked. He gave a sheepish grin and nodded. 

“Could you please? It’s not like I need someone there with me, it’s just a check-up but…” He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want his child to feel like they had no one in their corner but him. He knew the child didn’t even know what a corner was but it was important to Felix. “Thank you.” The obgyn doctor gave them a weird look upon entrance and Felix hurried to explain, “This is my bodyguard, Chan. Since Doek-su can’t make it today, he’ll be here. To, uh, make sure everything goes well.” He tried to smile, hoping they didn’t make her suspicious. He didn’t want this somehow reaching his husband’s ears and making him angry. 

Soon he was on the table, belly out, and she was using the ultrasound wand on the small bump and showing them the baby. It was larger than the last time he’d seen it, starting to look human-shaped, and Felix could feel tears at his eyes. He already loved them so much and couldn’t even believe himself for having wanted to get rid of them at some point. He smiled and looked at Chan, who was staring at the feed transfixed, mouth agape. There was a difference in his scent and Felix couldn’t pinpoint it. He bit his lip and wondered suddenly if this had been a good idea – the alpha was sterile, was probably never going to do or see something like this with a partner of his own. Felix tried to push those thoughts away and looked back at the feed. 

“Alright, I think this is good for a picture, right?” Felix nodded immediately and brought up a hand to wipe his tears. “How many copies should I make?” 

“Uh – uh – five!” he blurted out before thinking about it. He could send one to his family and maybe Doek-su wanted one, it was his child too after all, and – well, he could keep all others. It had been an impulsive decision but he wanted as many pictures of his baby as possible. As he wiped his stomach, the doctor asked, “And would you like to know the gender? I can already tell you what it is.” Felix bit his lip, briefly hesitating, thinking back on his husband’s words. 

“Yes, please,” he said in the end. 

“You’re having a little girl!” She said it with a smile, in a happy tone, then congratulated him. Felix froze for a second but forced himself to go on. He gave her a small polite smile and faced Chan instinctively. He had a grin on, full blown, dimples and all, and was turning it on Felix. Felix tried to match it but it fell flat and Chan noticed immediately. He stopped smiling too and gave him a questioning look, head tilting sideways in confusion. Felix shook his head discreetly and thanked the woman, finishing his appointment. 

A little girl. Felix was having a girl. He wanted to be happy, he’d always wanted a girl, but all he could think about was his husband’s reaction. Was he going to mistreat the child because she was a girl? Was he going to force Felix to do a late-term abortion!? Felix’s breathing quickened more and more the closer to the car they got and he broke into a jog at the end. Chan didn’t say anything until they were both in, aware they couldn’t speak freely outside. The moment Chan was in the car as well, sitting next to him, Felix instinctively reached out to the side in Chan’s direction. Chan’s big warm hand grasped his and gave it a squeeze. Felix turned to him with wide eyes, scared. 

“Felix, hey, what is it? What’s wrong?” Felix shook his head. 

“It’s a girl! What if he doesn’t want her? I don’t want – I can’t abort her! Or – or give her up or – or –” 

“Hey, hey, hey. Lixie, why wou –” 

“He wants a son, an heir! You heard him earlier. What if – what if –”

“Please, love, breathe. He made you keep the baby, he won’t just tell you to get rid of it now. Earlier he also said you will just have another child. Don’t think about the worst case okay? Please, Lix. Everything will be alright, I promise you. You will be alright and she will be alright. I promised I’ll look after you both, right? I’ll keep my word, sunshine.” Felix nodded, wiping at his tears, believing Chan fully. He leaned closer and the alpha enveloped him in a hug. “You can drive. Take your time getting there,” Chan told Changbin quietly in Korean. Felix had forgotten they had an audience. Great, he was embarrassing himself with his shitty home life in front of all of his friends that day. “It’s a girl, Felix,” Chan whispered suddenly into his ear and Felix could hear the smile in his voice. “You’ll spoil her like a princess. You will do hair and makeup and clothes with her. You’ll take her to boyband concerts and worry about whether her boyfriend is treating her right. Exciting, eh?” Felix chuckled through a fresh batch of tears and pulled away. 

“I’m extremely excited about some asshole mistreating my daughter, yes!” he said sarcastically and hiccuped with a laugh, wiping some of his tears. He looked up and their eyes met, Chan’s face very close. 

“You would never let it get there. You’ll be a wonderful mother,” Chan said with a small smile and then gave him a smug look. “Besides, I’ll also be there to look out for her. If any guy thinks they can lay their hands on her, they’ll have me to answer to.” Felix giggled, happy at that, and heard Changbin snort from the driver seat. 

He was going to have a little girl! His mind was already going wild with all the imagery of what the future could bring. “A girl? Congratulations, Felix!” Changbin called out in Korean and Felix looked at the rear view mirror to smile at him too. He was going to have a girl!

Dinner that evening was a pitiful event. Seungmin and Jeongin placed down the dishes and then had to take the spare ribs out of the room in hurry when Felix started heaving just at their smell. At least the staff were going to have a nice meal that day too. “Seungmin, could you please bring out a jar of pickles? Thank you.”

“Pickles?” Doek-su asked with a scrunched up nose and Felix shrugged lightly. 

“It’s a craving.” 

“Yes, they can be quite unfortunate, I’ve heard.” Felix fought a frown. He liked pickles even when it wasn’t a craving; there was a reason they had some stocked up in the kitchens. “So, what is the gender?” His husband didn’t beat around the bush. Felix licked his lips and looked at him in the eyes with a smile. 

“It’s a girl.” His husband made a face and then shrugged as he cut into his steak. 

“We’ll just keep trying then.” Felix grit his teeth and looked away. Although happy Doek-su didn’t have a harsher reaction and didn’t immediately request an abortion, Felix was very much not happy at how quickly his daughter was being dismissed as essentially useless and unloved. 

“This is your daughter we’re talking about. I really hope when she arrives you will give her as much affection and love you would a son,” Felix said, his voice unwavering. This was something he was not willing to let go of easily. His husband raised an eyebrow with a grin. 

“I forget sometimes why I liked you so much. It’s not just your beauty. You’ve got a fire in you, Felix. I hope our children will inherit that from you. And your looks.” Felix couldn’t lie, hearing that did feel good on some intrinsic level. It was so rare to hear anything positive from his husband, and he wondered sometimes if he was there just for Doek-su’s sadistic enjoyment. Moments like this reminded Felix he was human too.

“That doesn’t address my concerns.” 

“There’s nothing to be concerned about, Felix. She’s my child, of course I will not just ignore her existence,” his husband said with an eye roll. Felix knew that was as good as he was going to get so he nodded. Seungmin showed up then to hand him an opened jar of pickles and he gave him a small smile in thanks. “So I was thinking about sponsoring a new maternity ward in Seoul General…”

Chapter Text

Felix was wearing his baggiest clothes but even they were starting to constrain his belly and make him uncomfortable while just sitting down. Damn Doek-su and his love for tight fits that accentuated his waist and thin frame. He was aware of course that there was going to be a time in which no normal clothing would fit him, and he would have to shop for maternity clothes. He just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. The passage of time was concerning; he was getting closer and closer to actually having her in his arms and he both wanted it more than anything and wished she’d stay inside him, safe and warm, forever.

“Wow, mom clothes are just ugly,” Hyunjin complained, taking Felix out of his thoughts. He’d went dancing, dragging Jisung and Seungmin along, and Minho had pointed out his poorly fitting clothes which led to Hyunjin’s great idea of going shopping. Minho couldn’t join as he was supposedly working at the studio – not that Felix had ever seen him actually do anything but dance there – but everyone else did join the shopping trip.

“Hey, you’ll make him self-conscious,” Jisung chastised and lifted a floral patterned top. “What about this? Very gentle, very cutesy, light color palette – you wear this kind of stuff, no?”

“Looks like a pillow case,” Seungmin said with a snort and Felix rolled his eyes, turning his back on them to rummage through the clothes himself. Maternity clothing was for sure not his style, but then again nothing he wore these days really fit his personality, so did it even matter?

“Wow, I’m never going shopping with alphas ever again,” Jisung complained loudly. “Why did Bin-hyung have to stay in the car again? He’s only useful as a driver while the car is on the road.”

“He stays in most times when we’re parked in this kind of public place,” Felix chimed in as he scrunched up his nose at a puke-colored long sleeved tee. “Moves it around sometimes, making sure there’s always a very easy exit in case we need to leave in a hurry, or to avoid mobs.”

“He’s too loud anyway,” Hyunjin commented with a hum and Seungmin frowned up at him.

“Leave him alone.”

“Oh, yeah? What’re you gonna do if I don’t, handsome?”

“Oh my God, guys!” Felix gasped and all heads turned to him. Even Chan, who’d been quiet the whole time, scanning their surroundings dutifully, faced him with concern. Felix grinned and placed one hand on his stomach. “I can feel some movement!” It was barely anything, like small flutters, but there was definitely a new feeling that he’d never experienced before. 

“Wait, really? You sure it’s not gas?” Jisung asked, eyes and mouth open wide. Felix gave him a flat look while Seungmin laughed hard.

“Well, that figures. She’s excited to go shopping. Definitely taking after her mom there,” Hyunjin stated but gave him a smile. “Good to hear though.”

“Yes of course, congrats!” Jisung hurried to add and Seungmin squeezed Felix’ shoulder. Felix, still grinning happily, turned to Chan who smiled at him gently.

The baby wasn’t all that there was to life, of course. Felix still did a lot of work, and was in fact once again organising the fundraiser winter gala – which he hoped to enjoy a lot more than the previous one, now that no big announcements regarding him were to be made. He was also still working on his second master, although enjoying it less and less. He was currently doing an internship, naturally at Choi Inc., and the more he was forced to sit through boring meetings that Doek-su found inexplicably fascinating, the more he wished to quit the study. If he saw one more pie chart visualising profits, he was going to jump out of the window! At least the workload was lower without a few courses to split his attention between.

Felix continued vlogging too, although the majority of his new videos were pregnancy and motherhood-themed: staying fit while pregnant, choosing colors for baby clothes and blankets, and – okay, so maybe his life did revolve mostly around the baby! But that was life now, wasn’t it? His little girl was steadily growing and demanding all kinds of foods and pee breaks, and Felix didn’t want to trade that for anything.

—

Doek-su continued not being around much, but something shifted after the discovery of Felix’ pregnancy. Apart from seeing each other at the firm or at galas, they had dinner together more consistently now and his husband had started coming into his room for sex at least once a week, the way he’d used to before the mess with Felix’ failed attempt to use suppressants and the memorable heat their daughter had been conceived in. Obviously all that had happened was forgotten in Doek-su’s head. Felix remembered, but pretended he didn’t for the sake of the baby.

“It’s starting to get big, huh,” his husband commented when his stomach bumped into Felix’ while they kissed. Felix usually grit his teeth and thought of other things while they were in bed; they barely kissed and rarely ever talked during so it was easy to disassociate. His husband was being particularly chatty now, however. 

“I’m six months pregnant,” Felix said flatly, feeling defensive, and Doek-su grinned. 

“I know.” He started kissing Felix’ neck and rutted against his thigh. He was really turned on but Felix was not in the mood, so his arousal irritated his nose more than anything. “Can’t wait for you to go back to having heats.” Felix closed his eyes to hold in an eye roll. Such a single-minded alpha. Doek-su pushed him up on the bed so his mouth fell to Felix’ chest which was starting to fill out and felt overly sensitive these days. His husband attacked it with his teeth and Felix let out a hiss at the discomfort.

“They’re tender,” Felix told him, hoping for once the alpha was going to act reasonable. Doek-su sighed and rubbed his face into his chest instead. Felix flushed, fighting against covering himself up. He was a little self-conscious about the developing small breasts but his husband obviously didn’t mind them.

“Such nice tits, I want to keep you pregnant all the time,” Doek-su muttered against his skin and bit at one of the nipples. Felix yelped and tried to not pay attention to his husband’s words. Everything was going to be fine, they’d be done in fifteen minutes tops. Then Felix could go back to editing his – Doek-su moved up suddenly and started humping his bump, grabbing Felix’ jaw and drawing his focus again. “You look so good like this, Felix. Pregnant, round with my child. That’s what you were made for.” Felix didn’t say anything, barely holding back his glare. 

Doek-su flipped him over on his knees and grabbed his hips, lining him up with his dick. Felix grit his teeth knowing the preparation his husband had given him a few minutes prior wasn’t going to be enough. He yelled out when Doek-su thrust in with a satisfied growl and bit back a remark. Doek-su picked up on a fast pace that shook the bed frame. He took Felix’ hands and brought them behind his back, raising his torso in the air.

“Feels so good, baby,” the alpha rasped out as he hammered in, their hips slapping loudly. “You were made for this.” He let go with one hand to slap his ass and Felix yelped, trying to move away on instinct. Doek-su’s grip on his hands loosened and before he knew it, he was flopping down on the mattress on his stomach harshly. Felix gasped loudly as pain erupted in his belly. With strength and speed he hadn’t known he possessed, he moved away and pushed at his husband’s chest, growling. He clutched his stomach, worried, but didn’t take his eyes off Doek-su. “Damn it, Felix, sorry. I forgot. Come here–”

“Don’t touch me!” Felix snapped and scooted backwards more, grabbing the blanket to cover himself. “You will be careful and mindful of your daughter or you will not touch me at all!” he hissed and his husband clenched his teeth but didn’t snap back. He was probably sensing all the pheromones Felix was releasing. He could recognise the look of an omega protecting their child, and knew better than to argue. 

“I said I’m sorry. What more do you want me to do, Felix?” 

“To pay attention!” Felix snarled and then frowned. “It still hurts.” He hugged his stomach tighter.

They went to the hospital. Felix and his husband, their security detail and a driver Felix was unfamiliar with. Nothing was wrong, he was assured. Felix’ body could protect his child from a lot of stuff actually – wasn’t a mother’s body just a wonderful thing? – and he probably just panicked unnecessarily. But that was good, the doctor said, better err on the side of caution than be careless. Felix leveled his husband with a glare at that. 

Once in the car, his husband sighed. “See, nothing happened.” 

“I don’t want you to touch me until I’ve given birth,” Felix said immediately and Doek-su blinked. 

“Wha –”

“We will not put her in unnecessary risk. I don’t want you to touch me until she is born,” Felix repeated, holding his ground and meeting his husband’s eyes. There was a lot he was willing to overlook and bear when it came to his own relations with Doek-su, but when the baby was concerned, he wasn’t going to allow any missteps. “I don’t want a repetition of this evening. This is also stressful for me – and that’s not good for her either.” He saw his husband open his mouth and leveled him with another glare. “At the last appointment, the doctor said sex in the later stages of the pregnancy is risky anyway.” That was a lie, the doctor hadn’t mentioned any such thing, at least not yet. But his husband had skipped that appointment so he wouldn’t know in any case. Doek-su opened his mouth again and then closed it with a sigh. 

“Alright, Felix. Have it your way. But you’re going to lie in the bed you’ve made for yourself. When you’re horny from all the pregnancy hormones, don’t come to me. Figure it out yourself.” Felix clenched his teeth and lifted his chin. As if he would ever go to him for anything. His husband started paying attention to his phone then and Felix crossed his arms over his chest and looked out of the car, painfully aware they had an audience of three for their marriage spat.

That evening he couldn’t fall asleep, his mind busy, so he decided to work on his internship. At around 1am, the baby seemed to wake up and demand food, however, and Felix found himself with cravings. He took out his phone, biting his lip. Chan had a terrible sleeping schedule – that is, none – so maybe he was still up? He saw the man had been active in the message app just 20 minutes ago and hoped he hadn’t fallen asleep since then. 

Hey are you up

Is everything okay? came the immediate response and Felix huffed. Chan going in overprotective mode was endearing – and something their friends never stopped teasing him about. In the time it took him to appreciate the alpha and work up the courage to say his piece, Chan sent multiple other messages. Why are you up so late? Is the baby okay? Felix felt his chest warm up and a stupid smile spread on his face. Chan was just the ideal alpha. 

We’re fine. She’s being demanding though… Do you think there’s any ramen in the kitchen? He paused. And watermelon, I really want watermelon! But first ramen

I don’t know about the kitchens but there’s lots of instant ramen in the staff house

Perfect! He’d used to survive the long university days with a package of ramen in the lunch break – for some that might have led to a dislike of the food, but Felix only looked back on it with fondness. He loved ramen and he wanted some right now! Do you think there’s shrimp flavour?

Yes! I’ll be right there

Ten minutes later Chan knocked on the door – twice quickly, pause, three more quick raps; they’d started using that lately when Felix’ husband had also taken to visiting – and let himself in, dressed in the usual cargo pants and a fluffy looking sweater. His hair was more ruffled than normal and Felix bit back a smile. “Here you go, sir,” Chan said with a wink, placing the bowl of steaming ramen in front of him on the desk. “Unfortunately neither kitchen has watermelon.” Felix gasped and Chan held up his hands. “But! I found a place that sells fruit salads and is still open. So you’ll get watermelon in about uh, 25 minutes. And some kiwi – for some reason I couldn’t get rid of that – but if you don’t want it, I can take it.” 

“Ooh! I love kiwi! I want kiwi.” Chan chuckled and leaned his hip against the desk. 

“Why are you still up?” 

“Couldn’t sleep, so I started doing some homework.” 

“Are you feeling alright?” Chan’s eyes flickered down and Felix’ hand instinctively went to touch his belly. 

“All good now, thank you.” They shared a smile and Felix cleared his throat. “At least now I don’t have to sleep with him for over three months!” he cheered and started shoveling noodles into his mouth. Chan gave him a strained smile and looked away at Felix’ laptop. 

“Doing research, huh?” he teased and Felix made an excited sound. He swallowed his food first and started waving his hands around. 

“Did you know she’s growing hair on her head right now?” 

“Yeah?” Chan grinned and Felix nodded enthusiastically. “What else?”

—

The more the pregnancy progressed, the more joys of it Felix experienced and the more he wanted it to be over, for him to hold his daughter in his arms and not have to deal with all the cramps and lower back pain and random cravings or nausea episodes and emotions. The momfit course his husband had insisted he join was also not a pleasure to attend. Keeping active in a safe way was great and all, but it reminded him painfully that he was constantly bloated and as big as a whale and movement was getting increasingly difficult. He knew it was healthy and good for his body, so he persevered but it was always accompanied by complaints. 

“It also always makes me hungry like a wolf! I am literally ready to eat a whole deer.” 

“Would you at least leave the antlers out?” 

“If you’re also hungry, you can just say so!” Chan rolled his eyes and gave him a look. Felix grinned unashamed and then poked the alpha’s biceps, which was visible through the tank top he wore that day. Felix always appreciated tank top days, even when he couldn't understand how the alpha dealt in the cold weather. “I can also just eat you! You have plenty of muscle.”

“You do know that fatty meat is the more delicious one right?” Chan asked with a grin and Felix sighed. 

“No, I don’t know that anymore! The little lady will be vegetarian straight from the womb, just watch!” The biggest source of his nausea had been, sadly, meat. Any kind too, which was unfortunate when Korean cuisine was the main food on the table. She only allowed him to keep down some seafood, even now, so far along into the pregnancy. Chan laughed and placed a hand on his back as he guided him out of the elevator and towards the exit of the building. He looked to all sides, always on duty – and yes, Felix still forgot sometimes that they weren’t two best friends hanging out. Chan was his bodyguard. “Jesus!” Felix gasped and froze in place, one hand going to his stomach. 

“What? What’s wro – Is she okay?” Chan asked quickly, then gently pulled Felix to the side and rotated them until Felix’ back was at the wall and Chan blocked him from view. Felix leaned back against it, thankful for the support and grinned up at Chan. 

“She’s kicking,” he whispered and moved his hand slightly to the right. It was the first time he felt an actual hard kick that stretched at his skin, instead of the flutterings of movement that did feel oddly like gas, as Jisung had crudely assumed. He’d been so worried – it was getting late into the pregnancy and she hadn’t moved that much – but there it was. Finally. Chan blinked and his eyes fell down at his hand on the belly, too, looking in astonishment. 

Felix noticed his hand twitch and bit his lip. Slowly he reached out with his free hand and grabbed Chan’s. Their gazes met and Felix kept eye contact to assess the situation as he brought Chan’s hand closer and replaced his on his stomach. Chan immediately looked back down at his belly as he gently cupped the place Felix had shown. She kicked again suddenly and Chan almost jumped in place, looking up at Felix with wide eyes and open mouth. Then he broke into a wide smile, his eyes wrinkling beautifully, happy scent getting stronger. He kept his hand there as she continued kicking that one spot as if she had an agenda against it. 

“Someone’s very active,” Chan said quietly, his grin never slipping off. He looked happy and it made Felix happy, even happier than he had been when he felt her first kick. Sharing that moment with someone, someone he cared so much about, was all he could ask for. 

“If she’s this strong now, I worry for my organs in a month.” Chan giggled and removed his hand, her kicks no longer noticeable. He squatted down to get his face closer to Felix’ stomach. 

“Little lady, don’t give your mama too much trouble, eh?” Felix’s throat suddenly felt clogged up and he had trouble breathing. He’d been speaking to her for a few months now, only whenever he was alone – he was embarrassed to do it in company beyond a snarky comment jokingly telling her off for making him nauseous and tired – but Chan was the first other person to address her directly. It made Felix immensely happy. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Felix wiped his cheeks and shook his head. 

“Hormones,” he said with a wave of his hand and Chan nodded slowly. 

“Are you ready to go?” the alpha asked and Felix nodded, soaking up the rest of the tears with the sleeves of his sweater. He placed a hand on his stomach and stepped closer to Chan, scenting the air. His scent – familiar, safe, strong, loving – always helped him calm down. Chan seemed to get it because he didn’t step aside and instead placed a hand on his back to guide him out. 

“Thank you,” he whispered and felt Chan rub his thumb over his shoulder blade. 

“Thank you ,” Chan said back equally quietly and Felix was about to ask what for but then there were people crowding around them, holding a mic in his face. He didn’t fully understand the questions, riddled with some financial terms, but he could tell the public wasn’t too happy about his husband’s latest decisions within the company. A few questions were about his child as usual – was everything going fine, he looked glowing! – but he ignored all of them, huddling close into Chan’s side and letting the man act as a shield between him and the vultures.

So, the pregnancy did come with some actual joys, Felix had to admit. The happiness he experienced every time she stretched inside him, the reminder of her growth, was unparalleled. But there were still more things that made him wait with baited breath for the moment the baby was born. Things like lactation.

He’d been developing small breasts for some weeks, always wearing a bralette nowadays and baggier shirts that mostly hid his torso from view. While they were almost unnoticeable in terms of size with his clothing choice, they did still decide to make themselves seen. Felix was sitting at a meeting, listening to a pitch for a new ad campaign, when suddenly Chan was tapping him on the shoulder and leaning close to his ear. “I need you to follow me, now,” the man whispered into his ear and Felix was distantly aware of the presenter stopping mid-sentence and everyone turning to him. He frowned, worried about what it could be that had Chan interrupting and stood up.

“Please continue. I will be right back,” he assured and left the room with Chan. “What is going on?” he asked quietly as they started marching in some direction. The alpha glanced at his face and then lower, and pursed his lips, remaining quiet. Felix’ hand instinctively grasped his stomach and his frown deepened. What was that about? Chan opened the bathroom door and waited for him to enter and Felix did, even more confused now. “Why are we in the –” 

The moment he caught sight of his reflection, Felix froze. Then his brain kicked back in and he gasped, hands flying up to cover his chest. He turned his back on Chan, mortified. There were two big wet patches on his shirt. He couldn’t believe his nipples had started literally leaking milk, and at the worst time possible – that was an important meeting! This was absolutely humiliating! The doctor had warned him about it but Felix hadn’t expected it to be so… visible. He whined, choking on his own pheromones in the air.

“It’s not that bad, Lixie,” Chan tried to soothe but Felix shook his head, curling into himself. Oh God, that was so bad!

“What do I do? I need to go back!?” he asked, still facing away.

“You can – you can take my shirt?” Chan suggested and Felix glanced over his shoulder briefly. The alpha’s black shirt was also baggy, but wasn’t immune to breast milk! He whined as he turned back around.

“I’ll just leak all over it too,” he wailed and felt tears collect in his eyes. That was the most embarrassing moment in his life! Everyone had seen it too! Chan was suddenly pushing him gently into one of the small toilet rooms and locking it behind them. Felix turned around, mouth open to scold him, but heard the bathroom door open and someone enter at the same time. He gave the alpha a thankful smile and licked his lips. “What do I do?” he whispered, hands still covering his chest, but braving looking at the man.

“Well, the doctor told you how to, uh, deal with this, right?” Chan asked in a whisper, looking a bit red in the face, and Felix himself flushed. She had told him – but he wasn’t about to milk himself in the middle of the work day in the firm!? He didn’t want to either. He felt like a cow just thinking about it.

“I can’t do that,” he whined, looking up at Chan pleadingly. 

“Felix –” Chan stopped himself and ran a hand through his hair with a small sigh. “I can help you.” Felix blinked and got even redder in the face at the thought of – nope. Nope. Chan couldn’t just – he couldn’t – could he?

“You can?” he asked quietly and Chan licked his lips with a shrug.

“I mean – she said it’s just simple massaging, right? How – how hard can that be?” He huffed, chuckling nervously and looking around. “There’s plenty of toilet paper here.” Felix bit his lip and started at the alpha for a long time, Chan staring right back. 

“Okay,” he said finally and Chan nodded a few times, seeming just as lost as him. 

“Right. Can you – just take off…” Felix hesitated, embarrassed. He felt stupid about it, but he was scared Chan wasn’t going to like what he saw under the clothes. “If you’re not comfortable with this, we can also just ditch the rest of the meetings. Say you were indisposed and –”

“No! I – no. Please.” Chan nodded slowly and Felix took the shirt over his head, leaving behind the black bralette that was completely soaked too. He ignored his embarrassment and took that off too quickly before he could overthink it. He fidgeted under the alpha’s eyes, feeling self-conscious both about his newly developed breasts, wet at the nipples, and the gigantic belly, littered with stretch marks and poking far out. 

“You’re perfect, love,” Chan whispered and rubbed his forehead against Felix’ once. “And this is only natural, nothing to be ashamed of.” Easy for him to say when he wasn’t the one leaking milk from body parts that weren’t even holes! “Come here.” Chan sat down on the lid of the toilet seat and pulled him to sit on his lap. Felix grabbed onto his shoulders and met his eyes. Chan held eye contact while tearing a few pieces of toilet paper and the moment felt oddly charged despite their setting. “Let me know if I do something you don’t want me to, okay, Lix?” Felix nodded once, not trusting himself to speak.

Then Chan’s hands, holding a few papers, were on his breasts and Felix gasped at the sensation. He was tenderly touching them, pressing in places, kneading, and Felix could feel himself lactate. Through it all, the alpha kept looking at him and Felix had to look away at the intensity of it. He’d expected it to hurt, but it was pleasant, his breasts had been feeling overfull, heavy, and now there was relief. He bit back a moan as Chan continued massaging.

“You’re doing so well, Lixie. Perfect,” Chan was saying and leaned to press a kiss against his shoulder. “Such a good mom already. Providing for your baby so well.” Felix mewled at the praise, the omega in him happy that his alpha recognised that. “Does this feel better?”

“Feels so good,” Felix moaned and belatedly realised Chan had been asking something else. He didn’t have it in him to blush and take it back, not when Chan was looking up at him with such obvious hunger.

“Good. I want you to feel good, love. You deserve it all.” He pinched too close to Felix’ left nipple and some milk squirted out, hitting him in the face. Chan flinched and Felix gasped, back to feeling mortified, arms leaving Chan to cover himself again. “Wait, no, no, Lixie, it’s all good. Don’t be embarrassed, okay? Please.” Chan wiped part of his face, but his tongue also lapped out to collect some of it and Felix stood frozen, watching his big lips. Chan looked up at him and then down at his chest.

The alpha took hold of his wrists and slowly pulled them away, Felix relaxing in his grip. He grabbed the napkins again and placed his hands on his breasts, eyes falling to Felix’ lips. Before he could think twice, Felix leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss. Chan let out a surprised noise but immediately kissed back, his hands kneading at his breasts, and Felix groaned in his mouth.

They kissed while Chan milked him until Felix gasped for air and Chan started kissing lower and lower, his lips finding his chest too. Felix’ eyes flew open and he started down, transfixed, as Chan removed one hand and instead attached his mouth at his nipple. He was looking up at Felix, holding his gaze, looking so incredibly attractive. Felix gasped and groaned, the pressure on his nipple feeling both overwhelming and so, so good. Chan lapped at it while massaging his other breast and then switched them up.

“So good, sweetheart, you’re so good,” he praised in the middle, and Felix rutted against him, painfully aroused. His fingers were in Chan’s hair, holding him close to his chest and not letting him move away, and his head was thrown back in pleasure. There were suddenly fingers pulling at his stretchy pants and Felix looked down. Chan took out his member and squeezed it as he bit onto his nipple gently again. Felix moaned loudly and finished in the alpha’s hand, hips rutting up and chest pushed against Chan’s face. Chan let go of his dick and nipple simultaneously, hands coming up to rub at Felix’ waist comfortingly and wipe Felix’s spunk with more toilet paper. “So beautiful. You’re so beautiful, so good. I’ve got you, Lixie. Are you feeling better?”

Felix breathed out shakily and huffed, nodding. “Yeah.”

Chan was grinning and leaning to nose at his breasts gently, placing a few kisses. “Think they’re emptier now?”

“Yeah,” Felix said with a small laugh. He felt light-headed, on cloud nine. “Yeah.”

He did put on Chan’s shirt after that, leaving the man in a tight tank top only – which was a win-win situation – and used some of the emergency scent blockers in the bathroom to mask the sex pheromones that stuck to them like second skin. With a shared awkward smile, they walked out and Chan escorted him back to the meeting, where they were now watching the presentation of the second candidate. No one mentioned his change of clothing but Felix’ mind wasn’t on that anymore. He glanced at Chan standing at the corner of the room, hands clasped in front of his body, arms and shoulders bulging out and bit his lip.

Pregnancy did come with some joys, after all.

—

That… tryst between them wasn’t a one-off.

Felix was fidgeting as the couple on screen kissed sensually. Chan glanced at him, trying to pinpoint the reason for his discomfort. The man was wrapped tightly in a couple of blankets, one of which he’d politely requested, red-faced, for Chan to scent, and staring intensely at the TV, lips pursed. There was a faint trail of arousal in the air and Chan fought a smile as he turned back to the movie. It wasn’t an overly sexual scene, quite the opposite, it was meant to be emotional and only hint at erotics, but Chan guessed pregnancy hormones had an influence. He pretended he didn’t notice, not about to put Felix in an uncomfortable situation.

The omega continued fidgeting and panting quietly after the scene was over. Chan couldn’t stop his eyes from straying every few seconds, Felix’ flustered face and desperate little movements a lot more attention-catching than the movie they’d chosen. Chan’s own dick was twitching and hardening and he had to rearrange his seating position to hide the tent of his pants from Felix’ view. 

It continued for a long while and Felix’ pheromones only got thicker in the air. Chan bit his lip and tried to keep his hands to himself, but his charge smelled so good and looked so needy that at some point his fingers acted without his conscious effort and brushed over Felix’ only hand on top of the blanket. Felix drew in a sharp breath and whined lowly in his throat, wide eyes meeting Chan’s.

“I, uh – do you need some help with that, Lix?” Chan asked quietly, voice not raising above the volume of the TV, afraid he’d misstepped but wishing to help. Encouraged by his own fogged up brain, too. Felix released a shuddered breath, his gaze falling lower to Chan’s torso. He was once again in a tank top only, Felix having stolen his hoodie the moment he entered his bedroom. The omega was constantly cold these days and Chan ran hot so he didn’t mind. He wouldn’t have minded even if he was cold. Felix’ content purrs and wide smile as he put on the hoodie and the way it stretched over his big belly were a good trade offer. “I know, uh, I read about increased libido during pregnancy. I think it's normal for the second trimester and, uh, you can get super sensitive and –”

“Please fuck me,” Felix whispered and Chan blinked once, taken aback by the direct plea. The next moment he was moving closer and capturing Felix’ lips in a kiss. The omega moaned into his mouth and he could feel his hips twitch against him through the blankets. Chan slipped tongue inside his mouth and gathered him into his arms together with the blankets to move onto the bed.

They continued kissing for a long time while Chan unwrapped him from the mess of blankets like a present. He continued unwrapping, taking off Felix’ clothes one by one, leaving his wet underwear for last. He smelled divine down there and Chan growled as he pulled off the last layer of fabric and was greeted with a glistening pink cock standing at attention. Felix gasped and pulled at Chan’s top.

“Take it off, hyung,” he whined and Chan complied immediately. “Everything, take it all off!” Chan huffed and stripped naked too before pressing close again and kissing the omega. One hand was used for support, careful of the belly, and the other sneaked down to Felix’ dick. The man moaned into his mouth and Chan felt his own cock harden further. He wanted to pound Felix into the mattress. Pulling away, he looked down at the omega, sprawled out, blond hair wild, mouth open in pleasure. 

“You look so good, sweetheart. So good for me. You make the prettiest noises, too.” Felix moaned again as if on demand and Chan groaned, leaning down to press kisses to his collarbones and small breasts. “Come on, cum for me, love.” He sped up his hand and twisted it around and Felix was finishing with a yell, his dick spurting out all over Chan’s hand and even the bottom of his belly. “Good, so good.”

“Please, Channie,” Felix whispered, one of his hands on Chan’s chest. Chan kissed him and pushed a finger into his hole. It was slicked up and wet, it felt ready for a cock already, but Chan wanted to open him up a little more. Just in case. Felix’ other hand found its way into his hair and he pulled and Chan moaned. “I’m ready,” Felix said, pulling away. “Please hyung.”

Chan moved his fingers out of the way and lined up his aching dick with Felix’ hole. It was grasping at nothing, almost winking, and he growled as he pushed in with one long thrust. They groaned at the same time and Chan had to stop for a second once fully in to appreciate the way Felix’ tight heat enveloped him completely. Fuck, he felt so good. “You’re so good, sunshine. I’ll fuck you so good. Fuck.” Felix was nodding, pulling him closer into a kiss and Chan started moving his hips finally.

Felix’ spent cock was twitching up, interested once again, and Chan wanted to suck it dry but that was going to be left for another day. He touched it instead, his hand squeezed tight between his own body and Felix’ bulging stomach. Fuck, he had a baby in there. And he was letting Chan fuck him nonetheless. Chan sped up his thrusts, fueled by the omega’s moans and the rhythmic brush of his belly against his knuckles. There was probably nothing better in life than fucking his pregnant omega and feeling the–their child under his fingers. Fuck.

At that thought Chan lost it and pistoned in and out a few more times before he was cumming, thumb brushing over Felix’ sensitive head and triggering his orgasm as well. The omega gasped into his mouth and pulled away, eyes rolling back, and Chan watched him ride out the waves of his pleasure before relaxing against the bed, looking dead to the world. Chan panted as he stilled and took in the omega. He’d passed out. Something inside him took pride in the idea of fucking out his omega to the point of sleep, and his chest puffed out. It was most definitely Felix’s general tiredness around the pregnancy, but Chan was going to pretend he was good for something for a few minutes. 

He pulled out slowly and watched as a trail of his cum ran out of Felix’ hole. Biting his lip, he glanced at Felix before reaching out and pushing it back in with his thumb. The little hole swallowed him in and he felt ready to go another round, but he wasn’t going to do that with Felix unaware. He wasn’t going to be that kind of alpha. But God, that had felt so good. 

Chan cleaned the sleeping omega with a wet towel and took a piss before coming to stand by the bed, scratching at his head. He didn’t want to presume he’d been invited to the bed, but he hated the thought of leaving Felix after coupling and having him wake up alone. After a full minute of pondering, Chan slipped in below the covers too and spooned Felix, one hand reaching over and cradling the curve of his big belly. It was a lucky night for him, managing to slip into sleep and get a full five hours without interruptions. Luckier still for the sight that greeted him when he woke up, Felix straddling him, lining himself up with his cock and sinking low into it. Chan groaned and thrusted up, eliciting a delicious moan from the omega. Now that was a dream come true.

It was the pregnancy hormones, Chan knew. Before they’d started hitting Felix like a truck, they’d only had sex that one time during his heat – and it had been because Felix’ body literally needed it, needed any knot, not Chan in particular. They had both agreed that with Felix’ pregnancy-induced increased libido and his husband being the biggest asshole to exist, Felix needed a release from time to time and it was nothing to be ashamed of; he needed someone to find that release with and, well, Chan was a mostly healthy alpha in his prime, so it just made sense. 

“We can’t – not here – your meeting –” Chan said in-between kisses as Felix moved his hand to his ass.

“The door’s closed,” Felix whispered and then groaned when Chan groped him. “Meeting’s in fifteen, come on, please hyung. You know how it is, pregnancy hormones.” Felix gave him a coy, shy look from under his eyelashes, and Chan growled lowly, lifting him to sit on the desk. He was a little devil. 

“Fucking hell, Lix.” Chan was already unlacing his pants while Felix wiggled a little to pull down his own pants and make an opening. Chan thrust in two fingers and Felix moaned loudly. Chan captured his mouth in a kiss again to mute the noises and Felix’ hands gripped his arms painfully. He was lining up minutes later and pushing into Felix’ tight channel with a collective groan.

Chan tried to stay partly alert throughout their intimate moments, always keeping an ear out. Especially when they did it at the mansion.

“Feel so good, sweetheart,” he groaned into Felix’ ear and the omega bit into his arm to keep himself quiet. Chan hissed at that and sped up his hips. He was pistoning in from behind, both of them lying on the couch in the entertainment room. There was wetness on his arm too and Chan scented the air, realising Felix was crying from all the stimulation. He sped up his thrusts and his hand on the omega’s dick and Felix whined, shaking in his grip. “Fuck, Felix. You’re so good. So fucking good for me, the best. Such a good boy.”

Felix had one of those orgasms that left him shaking and gasping for air, and Chan reveled in the sight and the sounds and knew he was fucked. It was the pregnancy pheromones, Chan was aware. But that didn’t stop him from sometimes closing his eyes to the fact and pretending. Wishing it was different. There was a beast inside him that wanted more. And more, and more. Wanted it all.

Chapter Text

Apart from the occasional mobs, Felix sometimes forgot why he’d been assigned a bodyguard in the first place. Which was why in early December the world decided to remind him.

“Why are there so many people in here today?” Felix complained and rubbed his belly, looking around the queue towards the cashiers. They only had two registers open when they had the capacity for five! That was just poor planning when the store was so crowded.

“Christmas shopping, I suppose,” Chan said with a shrug and Felix glared.

“It’s hardly Christmas! Korean people don’t even care about Christmas that much anyway.”

“I’m sure they’re just here to annoy you, Lix,” Chan quipped and Felix narrowed his eyes harder. The alpha cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, sir. It really is frustrating.” Felix snorted at his placating attempt and suddenly zeroed in on the stand selling hotteok right outside of the shop’s door.

“Oh God, Chan-hyung, we can buy hotteok!” Chan followed his gaze and chuckled.

“Yes, we can. As soon as we’re out of here, we’ll –”

“Wait, no, I’ll go get them while you’re waiting.” Felix took a step sideways but Chan pulled him back by the hand.

“I don’t think it’s wise for you to go alone and become so exposed, Felix,” the alpha said quietly and Felix sighed. Their eyes met and Felix gave him a grin.

“Okay how about you go get them and I wait?” Chan shook his head.

“You’ll still be alone.”

“Yes, in a very crowded shop surrounded by new mamas that will yell louder than me if I got snatched. Come on, Channie, what’s the worst that can happen in the one minute you’re away?” Felix batted his eyelashes and he could see Chan cave in. “Please, it’s a craving, hyung. She’s hungry!” Chan sighed and swapped places with Felix.

A lot could happen in a single minute, Felix found then.

In one moment, he was impatiently waiting, eyes gluing to Chan’s behind and thighs – which looked just great in those tighter fitted cargo pants, and Felix wondered if they could sneak in a quickie in the toilets – and in the next, there was the barrel of a gun placed against his spine and an unfamiliar alpha hissing in his ear. “If you make a sound, I kill your kid. Come with me.” Then between blinks, Felix found himself being walked out of the shop, and out of the mall, Chan’s yells loud behind him as he and his kidnapper sped up towards the parking lot. Suddenly he was in the back of a van, getting blindfolded by strangers, and all he could think about was Chan. He shouldn’t have sent him for hotteok.

“Please be careful, I’m pregnant, please,” Felix begged as they tied his arms behind his back and pushed him to sit on the floor of the moving vehicle. The men were laughing and talking to each other, mostly about his appearance and what they would have done if he was their omega, but Felix tuned the conversation out, the blood in his ears too loud to ignore. 

Instead, Felix spiraled. Were they going to kill him? God knew Doek-su had enough enemies, competitors and businessmen he’d put out of business. Or maybe it was an enemy of Felix’? He was a public figure now, married to an influential man. It was possible someone decided to off him in a fit or jealous rage. Felix wanted to touch his belly, comfort himself with the presence of his daughter, but his bound hands didn’t allow any wiggle room. His panic peaked at that.

Was he going to be found? Chan had promised he’d always have his back – his and his little girl’s. Where was Chan? Felix needed Chan, Felix needed his alpha. Would the bodyguard only find him too late? Would he find his corpse ditched in a forest? Doek-su was going to be so mad that his baby machine was gone, Felix was almost glad he would be dead and miss out on the inevitable fit his husband would throw.

He was going to die. Felix started sobbing, praying to deities he didn’t even believe in. He couldn’t let his daughter die before she even took her first breath!

There was a sudden rough hand around his arm and Felix gasped, thrashing around. “Stop it, you slut!” the alpha above him growled and there was a sharp sting over his lip. He’d been slapped. Felix cried harder. They dragged him out of the car and pulled him along to somewhere, with Felix begging through tears to be released the whole time. They didn’t listen. Obviously.

Felix was finally deposited on the ground and someone grabbed his chin tightly. “You’ll tell your alpha that he can get you back as long as he meets our terms. Got it?” Felix nodded vigorously and then the man moved away. There was no one next to him and he could only hear movement around the room without really knowing what was going on. The lack of knowledge and sensory input was driving him crazy. Perhaps they were sharpening their knives, taking out their tools, ready to torture him? “Now, omega!”

“Please help,” Felix gasped out and started crying all over again.

“I told you what to say, idiot!” the alpha yelled and Felix flinched, hiccuping.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I – please do what they say, please. And they’ll let me go,” he gasped in-between sobs.

“Good.”

There was sudden commotion, a door banging open, some yells. “The police is here!” a new voice shouted over the others and Felix’ breath hitched. He was going to be saved!

“What!?” 

“How the hell – so fast –”

“He probably has a fucking tracker!” one of the now familiar voices growled and then there was the faint sound of a police car. People ran around him, yelling at each other and scrambling equipment urgently as far as he could understand. Felix whined, scared and overwhelmed. He wanted Chan. 

The yells got louder, there were grunts and sounds of pain. Gunshots echoed in what felt like a big open space – maybe he was in a warehouse? – and Felix felt his head pound. He wanted out. He wanted out! Why was no one coming to get him out!?

Someone right by his side collapsed on the floor and Felix gasped, moving sideways. Were they dead? He shook in place and crawled backwards and then let out a scream when a hand touched his knee.

“Wait, Lixie, it’s me, come here, sweetheart.” Chan. That was Chan. Felix sobbed out in relief and stopped in place as the alpha’s scent finally made it to his nostrils. The blindfold was slowly removed and he had to blink at the bright light that assaulted him. Chan had him lean against his body as he started pulling at the rope around his hands. Felix cried silently, head buried in the alpha’s strong chest.

“Channie-hyung,” he whined and Chan hummed.

“I’m here, love. I’ve got you.” His hands were suddenly free and Felix wrapped them around his bodyguard immediately. One of Chan’s hands cupped his jaw and made him meet the alpha’s eyes. “Bad. The worst thing that can happen is very bad. Please, please don’t ever get out of my sight again. Oh my god, Felix.”

Felix could now see the man’s face and his heart broke and warmed simultaneously at the distressed, tearful look he found there. “I’m sorry, hyung,” he whispered and Chan shook his head, bringing him close into a hug.

“It’s not your fault, Lixie. I should have been there to protect you. I won’t ever let you down like this again. Ever.” Chan’s hand made it to Felix’ belly and he suddenly realised his arms were now free and he could also touch it. The small action immediately brought him comfort. “Are you okay?” Felix nodded mutely and buried his face in Chan’s neck, scenting the gland there. Chan pressed him closer to his body and Felix allowed himself to finally breathe normally. He was safe. He was home. With Chan. His purring picked up involuntarily but the answering rumble in his alpha’s chest brought a small smile to his lips.

Chan helped him out of the place just in time for Doek-su’s car to come to a screeching stop. Felix winced and looked around, taking in the two police cars and the handcuffed men. There were also – bodies. Oh God. Felix looked away, feeling nauseous, as Doek-su stepped closer. Chan pulled away and Felix made a rejected noise, looking back at the alpha. Chan’s jaw was set, but he took another step sideways. Then his husband was grabbing onto his arms and bringing him into an embrace.

“You scared me half to death, Felix! Don’t do that ever again!” Felix’ eyes filled with tears again and he wanted to move away and go back to Chan’s arms. Doek-su misunderstood and shushed him. “Everything will be okay, baby. Come on. Let’s go home.” He started dragging the omega towards the SUV, turning his yells to people around him. “He was with them for a full hour! What incompetence had you act so slow –”

Felix closed his eyes and ears and focused on breathing.

—

Felix kept to the mansion for the next week, finishing his Christmas shopping online and working remotely, not daring to venture out into the hostile cold world so soon after the… kidnapping. They’d been after money, the police told him. There was already recorded footage and a prepared text message aimed at Choi, asking for billions. They were probably not going to harm him, an officer assured him, but Felix didn’t care. He’d been collected off the street with a gun to his body and made to fear for his and his daughter’s life. That was already a lot of harm done.

Chan didn’t stop apologising for the first two days, looking like a kicked puppy whenever he came to drop off Felix’ food in his room. Felix didn’t blame the alpha – he’d been reluctant to leave and had been gone for only half a minute when Felix was taken – so by the end of day two, he pulled the man under the sheets with him and used him as a comfortable scented pillow to nap on. Chan calmed down after that, and Felix did too. Mostly. He was going to stay home for as long as he could and for once Doek-su didn’t bash him for his laziness, which Felix counted as a win.

His friends took to spending almost every waking moment in his presence, reading quietly on his couch, or watching Brooklyn Nine Nine over lunch with him, or rambling about this or that, distracting his burdened mind. Felix appreciated them immensely.

“That’s cute,” Jisung commented and Felix nodded, biting his lip. It was a beautiful green dinosaur-themed onesie that he immediately added to his cart. Baby clothes shopping was surprisingly soothing. The door opened suddenly and both omegas looked up to watch Jeongin barge in and sink into the nearby armchair with a sigh. “Ooh, dad finally let you out of time out?” Felix’ eyebrows furrowed, confused, while Jeongin rolled his eyes and got up specifically to hit Jisung’s shoulder before flopping back into his seat.

“Shut up.”

“Oh my God! I’m an omega, this is omega abuse, I should call the cops on you!” 

“You don’t act like an omega though, hyung,” Jeongin teased and Jisung gasped. 

“Take that back!” 

“Are you saying there’s a way to act like an omega? What’s that, Innie?” Felix asked with a raised eyebrow and Jisung crossed his arms too. 

“Yeah Innie. What stereotype are you gonna spring on us? Hm?” Jeongin looked awkward all of a sudden and gave them a cute dimpled smile. 

“Nothing of course. An omega can act in any way!” 

“Damn right!” Jisung confirmed and Felix chuckled. 

“Wait, why were you in time out?” he asked and Jisung snorted. 

“Yes, you slut, tell Felix-ah.” Jeongin was getting red in the face and got up, ready to leave, but at the same time Changbin threw the door open and waltzed into the room. Jeongin covered his face and sat back down with a groan. Felix blinked, even more confused. 

“Please, it doesn’t matter!” 

“Oh, are we talking about your club outing again?” Changbin asked with a grin as he stepped closer and grabbed a cherry from Felix’ bowl before leaning against Jeongin’s armchair and sending him air kisses. Felix looked at Jeongin who groaned again. 

“Hey, don’t bully him,” Felix said, feeling protective now. “You don’t have to talk about it, Innie, okay? And you two should respect his wishes.” Jeongin nodded and moved away from Changbin to sit next to Felix, hiding his face in the omega’s back. 

“Aw, he has mom’s protection. That’s not fair,” Jisung whined and Felix snorted with an eye roll. 

“Seungmin’s looking for you, by the way,” Changbin said to the alpha then and Jeongin sighed into Felix’ back. 

“You can stay here if you want to,” Felix offered but Jeongin shook his head. 

“No, I’m going… Thanks though, Lixie. See you later guys!” And just like that, he was out of the room as quickly as he had entered. Felix blinked and opened his mouth, a question on the tip of his tongue, but Jisung spoke over him. 

“Did they actually fuck?” Changbin nodded, eyes sparkling. 

“Oh yes yes they did! Chan’s been airing out their room for the whole day now.” Felix’ eyes widened comically. 

“Uhh…” He’d been about to scold them for gossiping when Jeongin obviously didn’t want Felix to know whatever had transpired, but now that his bodyguard was involved the words died out in his mouth. Jisung looked at him and his eyes widened, head and hands shaking.

“Noo! No, no, no, wait! Chan-hyung and Jeongin-ah didn’t fuck! God, no, ew!” he exclaimed and Changbin burst out laughing. 

“Don’t look so concerned, Lixie,” he said, his eyes twinkling as if he knew too much. Felix gulped but Jisung was already continuing on his tirade. 

“Jeongin and Chan share a room so if Jeongin fucks, Chan has to sleep on the ratty couch in the common room which – no one wants to sleep there, believe me. We don’t know where that’s been…” Felix nodded slowly, feeling a strange sense of relief in his body. “That’s brave of them though,” Jisung addressed Changbin this time and the bulky omega shrugged. 

“They were drunk, not brave. Also, I’ve been waiting for this to happen for a while, so it’s not coming out of nowhere either. It does sound hot though.” Felix was lost, and had to admit he was curious about Jeongin’s partner, but told himself he had to respect his friend’s wish for privacy, and bit his tongue.

“Speaking of expected things, when are you going to bang Hyunjin?” Changbin choked on nothing and rolled his eyes. Felix grinned, this topic a lot more familiar. 

“I can ask him discreetly if he’s interested, Bin-hyung.” Changbin shook his head violently.

“Can you please not? I’m good, thanks, Lix.” Jisung sighed loudly.

“He always does this! Finds himself a crush and flirts and gets close and the moment it’s actually time to bounce and get them, he chickens out and taps out.” Changbin seemed uncomfortable at that topic and Felix cleared his throat.

“What about you, Sungie?” Jisung blinks, and looks at him with wide innocent eyes.

“Me?”

“Yes, Jisung-ah. When are you going to bang Minho?” Changbin asked, now back to his teasing grin. Jisung groaned and put his face in his hands and Felix laughed. 

It was easy to feel back to normal when with his friends and Felix really, really appreciated that.

—

This time when Christmas came around and Doek-su insisted on going on a vacation for a couple of weeks, Felix’ baby brain was too foggy to muster up good arguments, and in the end the alpha won. They visited Bora Bora and took a few carefully composed pictures around a large decorated Christmas tree and a fireplace for the socials. They had an image to uphold in front of the general public. Apart from that, Felix didn’t see his husband for the majority of the holidays. 

He was fine with being left to his devices. It was peaceful to stay away from the irritable alpha, but at the same time it solidified once again that Doek-su only wanted to be with him for fucking and reproducing. Felix found it hardly pained him to think about it anymore. 

Instead, he took advantage of the advancing pregnancy that provided an excuse to take a break from work, and relaxed on the beach. He was happy to be traveling – a new travel vlog was already in the works! – and to be in a warm place again. The winter in Seoul had been growing exhausting even though it barely started. The only thing that was missing was his family. It was the first year Felix was spending Christmas alone and it tugged at his heartstrings.

“Take us next time, don’t be selfish!” Olivia said while Felix showed them around the beach. Felix rolled his eyes while their mom gasped.

“Olivia, don’t talk like that to your brother!” their dad scolded and Felix could see Rachel give his youngest sister a pointed look.

“She’s right though. I’d love to take you here. Or anywhere else you’d like!” He wanted to show them the world! Things were just… busy. Overwhelming.

“Ah, don’t worry about us, baby. We know you have a lot on your plate,” his mom soothed and he loved the understanding but felt like he didn’t deserve it. Even if he didn’t find time to join them, he had to at least gift them a few excursions here and there. Felix was in this whole mess because he wanted to do good by his family; might as well actually let them reap the benefits of it all.

“Speaking of that! The bump’s so big now,” Olivia exclaimed and Felix blinked.

“Oh my God, Olivia. You can’t just say that!” Rachel snapped immediately and their sister narrowed her eyes at her.

“You were the one to say it first yesterday!” Rachel got red at that and Felix sighed.

“Yes, well. Not much longer to go now,” he mumbled, feeling self-conscious. He wasn’t even that big yet! Or was he? Last time he’d spoken to Chan about it, a week ago, the alpha had assured him he looked positively slim. Was the alpha lying!?

“Don’t listen to them, Felix. You look stunning. You’re absolutely glowing, it’s a great look on you,” their mom intervened again and Felix looked at her with gratitude. “Did you decide what kind of delivery you’re going for and where already?”

Felix nodded and had to pause before he answered, to avoid letting his displeasure at how that conversation had gone show. Doek-su had simply informed him about all this, having consulted a professional, and didn’t even care about Felix’ wishes. “Yeah. Natural birth. At Seoul General. Doek-su actually sponsored the opening of a new maternity ward there and has made sure some of the best doctors are appointed, for the delivery of the baby.” At least that was nice of him. 

“Ah, he’s just so sweet,” his mom gushed and he held back a cringe.

“You’re lucky as hell, Lix,” Olivia piped in with a grin, eyes wide and sparkling, and he wished he had her innocent look on life. Rachel was looking at him with an unreadable expression and Felix tried not to think of their conversation at the airport.

“Mom, you’ll be here for the delivery, right?” he asked instead of acknowledging their words and she nodded enthusiastically.

“Of course, baby. If you want, we can already book tickets? I’ll come a bit early, you never know when exactly the little girl will feel like greeting us!”

That was a reassurance that calmed his anxious heart more than she could ever know.

Besides calling his family and filming vlogs, Felix spent all day texting his friends. He had a sort of deja vu feeling, taken back to his honeymoon trip, where chatting with Jisung and Hyunjin was one of the few saving graces that kept him sane. Except now, it wasn’t just the two of them. There was also Changbin, who was even funnier through text where he could make use of his extensive sticker library. Then there were Jeongin and Seungmin, who usually texted him at the same time and almost on the exact same topics, obviously sharing something they’d done together. Minho was an interesting addition that seemed annoyed at being bothered by texts like a cat, and yet seeking out contact the moment a day passed without – like a cat. 

And of course, Chan. Felix was essentially glued to his phone, talking to the bodyguard and hearing about his much more joyful Christmas experience with his family. They were used to spending what was essentially 24/7 together and had a rather tight and profound bond at that point, so an interruption of two weeks was unbearable without constant contact. Chan’s silly messages, random-topic ramblings and thoughtful questions after the baby made his day and had him smiling like a fool. Both Chan and the rest of his friends made him feel like there was something to come back to in Korea, a strong support system that cared for him and had his back, and Felix cried hard at that realisation. He wanted to go back to them.

They did go back, of course. But not before having a painfully awkward New Year’s Eve dinner with a few of Doek-su’s colleagues. He’d flown in some board directors to the islands, people high enough to be fluent in English and amicable enough to speak it occasionally. And when not, Felix held his mouth shut about his newfound knowledge in Korean and kept an ear on the spilled tea. They also had to pretend to be a happy couple, of course, and make another superficial Instagram post, wishing all a Happy New Year, but once that was done, Felix could breathe more easily. It was time to go home!

—

There was no plan of Felix and Doek-su throwing a big official baby shower, given that it wasn’t part of Korean culture, but Felix wasn’t disappointed. In fact, that made him happy. It meant he could host a private event with his friends only, once his husband was away to whatever country he had to visit next to grow his empire or whatever it was that he did abroad. And, predictably, Doek-su left mid-January for a yet another ten day trip, leaving him with plenty of time to organise multiple baby showers if he wanted to!

Felix only needed one, of course, but it was more than enough. He spent a few hours working on a beautiful red velvet cake with Jisung, but left the rest of dinner to the cooks. He and Jisung organically moved their conversation to the dining room, where the first part of the party was going to take place, and gradually everyone else joined in. Seungmin coming right after his shift, Jeongin technically cheating and skipping out on a shift, Changbin and Chan arriving fresh out of the shower after a workout, and Minho and Hyunjin completing the set a bit later.

“You’re so going to be the weird single wine aunt,” Jisung mocked, a raised glass pointed at Hyunjin, who gasped as a retort.

“That implies he’d stay single,” Chan said in between bites, with raised eyebrows, looking around the table and Changbin nodded.

“That can’t be right, have you seen the guy?” Hyunjin preened at that and winked at Changbin, whose mouth fell open.

“No, no, I think if anyone will become the wine aunt, that’s gonna be Minho,” Hyunjin said then and smirked in his direction. Minho rolled his eyes.

“Which aunt are you then, you idiot?” he asked. Felix laughed.

“The prettiest,” Changbin piped in and Jeongin and Seungmin whispered something to each other, falling over laughing.

“Aw, look at your number one fan. Cute,” Minho sneered and Hyunjin hit his shoulder.

“Let him be,” Hyunjin muttered and Minho raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, so you can make fun o–”

“Anyway, with all your alcohol consumption and gossiping, you’re all gonna be the wine aunts,” Chan cut in and then spoke over Jisung and Seungmin’s protests, “You’ll be taken or married wine aunts,” he corrected and Jisung nodded once, satisfied, while Seungmin made a face. “But in any case, you’re going to be Felix’ baby’s aunts, so maybe let’s give Felix the floor for a bit.”

Everyone was suddenly looking at him and Felix blinked. He’d been enjoying the bickering of his friends, especially with how tired he was after a long day on his feet, but now the attention was on him and he felt unprepared. A quick glance at Chan, who smiled at him encouragingly, had him standing up and clearing his throat.

“Yeah, so… I don’t have that much to say, but… I – I’m really happy to have you guys.” Felix paused for a second and took a deep breath. “When I came here, I was quite lonely and sad about it, but now I truly feel like I have a family, with people that I love and care about and – and that I hope care about me too –”

“We love you, Lix!” Jeongin interrupted loudly and Jisung nodded, raising his glass.

“Yes, baby, don’t doubt it!”

Felix smiled and felt his eyes get teary – stupid hormones. Hyunjin and Seungmin were smiling at him from the other side of the table. “Thank you, guys. I just – I feel very lucky to have you all, and I’d love to have you be part of my daughter’s life. For her to have such great, uh, aunts around.” There was a laughter all around and Felix also grinned, meeting Chan’s eyes. “So thank you for being there for me. I really appreciate it.”

“Thank you for having us around too,” Chan said and raised his glass in the air. “To Felix’ little girl!” The rest joined in the toast – Felix was the only one with water in his glass – and downed their drinks.

“Oh, wait is that Jisung’s second glass? That’s not good!”

“Isn’t it time for presents?”

“Hell, yes, Felix, you must see what we got you!”

In the end, it was a beautiful evening that Felix ended up passing out during, in the middle of a puppy pile while the rest watched a movie. The mixture of scents and the warmth of his friends, both soothing and comforting omega and reassuring and protective alpha, had him relaxing better than he had in a long time. And not only that – his child had a few toys, blankets and gag gifts already and she wasn’t even born! His found family filled his heart with happiness.

On the other hand, his husband didn’t – there had to be a balance, of course. His next appointment with the obgyn was once again skipped by the man because of work-related responsibilities, and Felix didn’t even have it in him to feel mad over the fact. Not when Chan joined instead, smiling at him over the updates of the baby’s growth and happily taking one of the sonogram images that Felix handed on the way out. Felix didn’t need Doek-su, he had everything he needed.

The next time after the holidays that Felix saw his husband was at the annual winter gala organised by the fundraiser, and Felix begrudgingly admitted to himself that while he was currently ecstatic to have minimal points of contact with the alpha, once the baby was born that had to change. She was going to need an alpha parent in her life and Felix was going to do his damned best to provide that. 

The gala went well overall, and Felix was for once not too unhappy with his clothes, despite the gigantic belly protruding out. The news of the successful two collaborations of the previous year and the astronomical sums they’d managed to raise for charity were well-received and Felix couldn’t be more satisfied of his – and, frankly, Park’s – work. He had a lot of conversations with potential investors, and charity organisers looking for his financing and for once Felix felt like he was actually achieving something. 

“– was underqualified already. Doesn’t even know the language of his company and country! But now he also has baby brain and is still allowed to run the fundraiser. If that’s not careless, I don’t know what is!” Felix obviously wasn’t meant to hear the woman’s complaint, as it was said in Korean, and she was talking to an older gentlemen towards the edge of the ballroom, but the joke was on her: while not fluent, he was quite good at Korean now, and he always frequented the quieter spaces.

He stopped in front of her, rendering both her and the man speechless as they looked at him and tried to pretend they hadn’t just been gossiping about him in particular.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Felix said in Korean and took satisfaction in the way her face paled and her scent soured. She was an alpha but in that moment it felt like their subgender roles were reversed. “Which of my two master degrees makes me underqualified for my job?” Maybe he didn’t have much experience and was young, but that didn’t make him stupid. He wasn’t even going to address the other comment about his baby; that was just pettiness. The woman sputtered, searching for something to say and failing. Her companion just stood there gaping.

Her eyes met Chan’s over Felix’ shoulder and he raised his chin, smirking proudly. She got what was coming for her, and he was glad it was Felix that spoke up, so that Chan didn’t have to pay off a waiter to accidentally drop a tray of glasses on her dress. She turned back to Felix, who inclined his head slightly.

“If you’d excuse me, I have some important guests to talk to,” he said and took his leave, Chan following a step back with one last satisfied look at the couple.

“I’m proud of you, sir,” he muttered as quietly as he could and could see Felix hide a grin.

“That was just stupid!” Doek-su grit out forcefully later that evening as he led Felix into his office. “She’s an investor. The idea is to keep those, not have them running for the hills, Felix!”

“You’re protecting her instead of your husband?” Felix asked, outraged and not afraid to show it. “She was bad-mouthing me! If anything, this kind of people shouldn’t be associated with the firm.”

“She gives a lot of money to the firm,” Doek-su corrected and his scent got stronger, blocking Felix’ nostrils and making him take a step back. “She absolutely has a place in the firm and you should learn yours too.”

“I know my place,” Felix snapped, his own scent spiking in response. “That’s why I protected my position and don’t want to have people walking over me.”

Doek-su was grinning suddenly, that one predator grin that Felix disliked immensely. “You’re sexy when you get going, baby.” Before Felix could realise what was happening, his husband was attacking him – no, kissing him. Felix tried to push at the alpha, obviously not returning the affections, but Doek-su was already kneading at his ass. Felix gathered one last bout of strength and pushed away with all his might, stumbling backwards and placing a hand on his belly, where the baby was kicking.

“No sex, remember? I’m in month eight, there’s definitely no sex happening, Deok-su.” His husband rolled his eyes and turned his back on him, reaching for the bottle of whiskey that always stood at his desk.

“That’s no longer sexy, Felix. Don’t get too bossy, it’s ugly for an omega.” Felix glared as he walked out of the room. As if he cared what Doek-su in particular found sexy or not! 

The longer he spent in Chan’s company, the more his eyes opened to what an omega could be treated like and what self-respect he could have, and the less he managed to find it within him to put up with Doek-su’s bullshit. Yes, he was going to make sure his daughter had a father around, but beyond that – he wasn’t going to care about Doek-su’s stupid opinions and roll over on his back at each of the alpha’s temper tantrums. He had dignity.

—

“Oh! Can we get McDonalds?” Felix asked the moment his eyes landed on the sign in the distance. It wasn’t the most healthy craving, but he hadn’t had McDonalds since he arrived in Korea and almost two years was too long of a time to go without. He was going to make an exception this once. 

Changbin chuckled. “I thought you were hurrying for a meeting?” he asked and Felix glared.

“Are you going to deny a pregnant omega their cravings?” 

“I would never. McDonalds it is.” Felix grinned and jumped in his seat.

Chan took him out to order at the kiosk and Changbin stayed behind, waving them off. He was already taking out his phone and Felix had to wonder if he was texting Hyunjin. There was no other reason he wouldn’t jump at the chance of getting some food. Felix decided to order for him, too, and asked Chan to enter whatever he thought the other omega would like. 

“Oh wow, you two eat a lot,” Felix commented as Chan kept adding more and more items to their basket. The alpha sent him an amused glance. 

“Oh, this is for Bin only. Haven’t added my order yet.” Felix’ eyebrows joined his hair line and Chan shrugged. “Have you seen him pig out, come on.” Felix laughed and patted his pockets in search for his wallet. It wasn’t there and neither were his phone and keys. He’d brought a bag that day, he remembered, and he’d left it in the car.

“Oh wait, we have to get my –”

“It’s on me,” Chan said with a smile and took out his own wallet. Felix caught a glimpse of something and pulled on his hand immediately.

“Wait, let me see!” It was the sonogram from that second doctor’s appointment. The one he’d printed in too many copies and had caught Chan staring at with wonder in the car, so he’d offered him one, not thinking about it much. His eyes immediately filled with tears and he looked up at the alpha. “You kept it?” Chan was blushing, obviously embarrassed, but gave him a shrug and a small smile. 

“I mean – yeah. The other one too.” He’d kept it. And he’d put it in his wallet. Chan was a sentimental bastard, alright. Felix bit down a happy smile and pulled on the alpha’s arm to bring the wallet closer. It was a small one, a typical alpha thing to have, but there were a couple of other pictures he could see poking out from behind the sonogram. He reached out but then stopped, realising he was being very nosy, and looked up at Chan sheepishly. 

“Sorry. Can I see?” Chan chuckled and grabbed his bank card before handing him the wallet. Felix took out one of the pictures, letting it poke out over the front one. It was of two children and it seemed like it was a very, very old picture. One was unmistakably Chan, his hair curly and unruly even back then and his lips taking up half of his face. Felix giggled; he’d really grown into them as an adult. They were one of his most attractive features. 

“My little sister,” Chan supplied while paying and Felix smiled wider. They were adorable. He pulled out the second picture and took in a grinning Chan, accompanied by Changbin and Jisung. It looked a few years old, mainly given away by Changbin whose hair was longer and body leaner. “I should get one printed with the whole gang,” Chan commented and took the receipt with their order number. Felix looked up with a raised eyebrow. 

“So you admit we’re the coolest most awesome and adorable gang there is?” Chan hissed through his teeth, making a face. 

“Now that you said that, I think I’ll have to cut you out of the picture.” Felix gasped and hit his arm and Chan laughed, guiding him gently to the side to let other customers use the kiosk. 

Felix pulled out the last image and blinked. It was of Felix himself, an image Hyunjin had taken of him on one of their trips into town after dancing. A bit candid, of Felix laughing while pulling on Minho’s arm, trying to convince him to join them in the candy store. Minho was out of frame except his arm and jacket sleeve but Felix remembered that moment, remembered singing 50 Cent’s Candy Shop and Minho glaring the whole time. Felix looked up at Chan, feeling himself get teary again. The man was redder than a tomato, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Yeah uh… Well, I hope that’s not creepy,” he said with a forced laugh as Felix closed the wallet, giving it back. 

“It’s not… I – Chan-hyung –” 

“It’s not meant in any, uh, malicious way. Or perverted way. It’s just – I – agh. Felix, I care a lot about you. You’re a very big part of my life and I – l care a lot about you, not just as my charge. And – uh –” 

“I get it,” Felix said, putting him out of his misery, and then gave him a shy smile, stepping closer so they were almost chest to chest. More like, stomach to stomach. “I really care about you too, Channie-hyung. You’re – you’re honestly the main reason I’m still here and still going. You’re – everything.” His voice broke at the end and God, he hated pregnancy hormones. He put a hand over his eyes, trying to keep the tears in. Chan touched his elbow and pulled away the arm.

“I’m really glad you’re still here, love. I can’t imagine my life without you in it anymore. And the little lady.” Felix barked out a laugh and put a hand on the side of his belly. 

“Well, she’s saying she likes you back,” he said and brought Chan’s hand up to where she was kicking. Chan grinned stupidly and Felix acted on instinct, leaning closer and rubbing his cheek against Chan’s then placing his head on his shoulder with a content sigh. Chan massaged gently the spot where the little “lady” was still kicking – she was anything but a lady in that moment – and kissed the side of Felix’ neck. “I can’t imagine life without you either,” Felix admitted and Chan’s other hand came to cradle his head. He was on the verge of crying again. Chan hummed and released soothing pheromones, nuzzling his head. 

“Good that I’m not going anywhere then.” 

“I mean – this is your job, you can always switch to another one, go somewhere else to guard other people, find a better paying offer –” Felix didn’t know why he went there, it was just emotions, he was already crying and feeling tender, and of course his brain went to the worst possible scenario in that case. Chan grabbed his head and lifted it so they were face to face, cupping his cheek. 

“That’s not going to happen, sweetheart. And even if I, for some weird reason, work somewhere else – no matter where I am, you can always find me, eh? I’m not gonna leave you behind.” Felix searched his eyes and then nodded, bowing his head a little. Chan brought him closer into a hug and Felix melted against him.

Chan was… Chan was perfect. Felix had that confirmed day after day and the realisation was bittersweet. He couldn’t have been more lucky to get assigned the alpha as a bodyguard, and while Felix held a lot of disdain towards his husband, he’d forever be thankful to him for introducing Felix to Chan. The man kept him safe and comfortable, was more attuned to Felix’ own body than himself, entertained his whims and taught him Korean, spent every moment of his free time with Felix and his friends, helped Felix with everything from carrying his heavy bag to fucking him just right when he needed it – wanted it. He was perfect. 

That was where the bitterness came. Felix, not for the first time, wanted, longed, yearned. Chan was the ideal alpha mate. His looks had piqued Felix’ interest from the moment he laid eyes on him, and his strong, unwavering, caring, fun personality had kept Felix’ interest almost two years down the line despite Felix’ marriage to another man. He stared at Chan sometimes while the man wasn’t looking and wished he could be with him instead of Doek-su.

Like right now. Felix was eating Turkish delight, a gift he’d received from one of his husband’s closest members of the board of directors, who’d recently visited Turkey, and Chan was massaging his calves. He’d woken up three separate times that night, screaming in pain and Chan had been there for all of them, calming him down and kneading at the bunched up muscles to help them loosen up. During the day Felix’ calves still hurt from all the cramping, however, and Chan had generously offered to help with that too.

“Oh woah,” Chan said and Felix looked down at his stomach where he knew his baby was stretching. They could see the skin stretch through his tight shirt where her foot was and Felix grinned, using his free hand to pull up the fabric, baring his belly. “That’s her foot! I can see her foot so clearly!” Chan exclaimed, excited and smiling wide, and Felix nodded, matching his smile.

“Yeah, I can also feel her foot so clearly,” Felix said, grimacing a little at the big stretch of his skin. Chan graced a finger over that area and Felix liked how he now did it without Felix’ prompt.

“Little lady, don’t hurt your mama too much, yeah? You can do yoga all you want once you’re out,” Chan told her and went back to massaging his calf. Felix took in his serious face as he spoke to the baby and his chest tightened. He would have given everything and anything to have Chan be her father. He put away the Turkish delight, his throat contracting and his stomach churning a little. The moment the thought passed through his head, he realised how much he truly meant it. “...or football. Or gymnastics, I don’t know what you’re practicing and I don’t want to assume,” Chan was still chattering to her and Felix swallowed back tears.

“You know, babies actually form a connection with the people that talk to them already in the womb. Get used to their voices,” Felix said quietly and Chan looked at him. “They also trust their mother’s nose a lot. If there’s a scent I find comforting and familiar, she’ll likely be born thinking it’s comforting and familiar, too.” Chan smiled softly and Felix smiled back. “So, she’ll definitely know you when she’s born.”

“I feel like she’ll also know me because I am with her mom 24/7,” Chan teased and Felix slapped his arm with an eye roll. Idiot. 

Chan was moving away suddenly with an apologetic look, pulling down his shirt to cover his stomach again before standing to the side with his arms crossed. Felix opened his mouth but at the same time heard footsteps and then the door to his room was being opened. Doek-su entered and Felix wondered if that was some sort of divine intervention.

His husband raised an eyebrow at the sight of Chan. “You need to be protected from the house plants now too?” he asked Felix with a mocking smile and Felix pursed his lips, raising his chin.

“I’m due any moment now, and my mom is only arriving in three days. I don’t want my water to break suddenly in a place or position where I can’t reach anyone and –”

“Okay, okay,” Doek-su waved off and scrunched his nose. “Open a window, though. It stinks in here.” He sent Chan a look of superiority but Chan continued staring ahead, not acknowledging him, jaw set. Felix bit his lip to stop himself from smiling at Doek-su’s annoyed expression. “Are you ready? The car is leaving in five.”

“Yes, let me just get my jacket and shoes.”

Doek-su placed a hand on his back possessively, leading him towards the limo, Chan staying a few steps back. “I don’t like you spending so much time alone with him,” his husband hissed in his ear and Felix looked down. It wasn’t divine intervention, because he refused to look at Doek-su in such a light, but it was definitely a reminder.

Felix was married, Doek-su was his husband and his daughter’s father. Chan was his bodyguard and his feelings on the matter were irrelevant.

Chapter Text

Sun-Hi was born as if she was in a hurry. Felix’ water broke while he was writing his internship wrap-up paper and the contractions started almost immediately. He was rushed to the hospital, his mother and Doek-su accompanying him alongside Chan and two other guards, and the birth itself took a bit over seven hours. Felix felt like it all happened so quickly that he could barely comprehend he could now hold his daughter.

At the same time, it all took a century. While the contractions were getting more and more frequent and her gigantic, titanic, enormous, impossibly huge head and shoulders were coming out of him, Felix felt like he was trapped in Hell, pain all over, sweat and tears marrying his whole body as he got ripped in half. He yelled and crushed his mother’s hand, Doek-su standing a few steps away and looking petrified. Initially, when Felix’ mom had arrived in Seoul a week prior, he’d started having second thoughts about putting her through the stressful experience given her own poor health, but once his daughter started coming, all he could do was whine for her. She shushed him, wiped his forehead and praised him, and he cried both with relief over her being there and with pain and frankly – he was never, never, ever, going through this a second time.

And then his daughter arrived, looking like an angel, and Felix wanted a few more babies as perfect as she was. He held her with trembling hands, listened to her cries with joy, fed her for the first time and then promptly passed out.

The next day he was a lot calmer and once he picked up Sun-Hi – or, well, the nurse handed her to him, since he was weak and couldn’t get up on his own – he didn’t want to let her go. She was so beautiful, she had all twenty fingers and toes, and she mainly slept but there was that one time when her eyes opened and she looked at him as if she knew him and Felix wanted to cry. He did cry, with happiness. His little girl was with him now. His mother held her, too, happy to be with her grandbaby and sending pictures to the rest of the family. 

It was on that second day that Chan knocked on the door, the two quick knocks followed by a pause and three quick ones more, and Felix smiled. “Come in,” he called out and the door opened. Chan approached slowly, eyes wide, and Felix’s smile grew larger, his chest filling up with pride. Chan’s eyes were glued to the sleeping baby. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he said, gaze flickering up to his for a second before zeroing in back on his daughter. “Sun-Hi, right?” Felix nodded and Chan grinned. “She’s perfect,” he whispered and Felix preened. Yes she was! Chan audibly gulped. “I – you – you’ve done such a good job, Felix. Already such a great mom.” Felix bit his lip and wondered if he could still blame his baby for how quickly his eyes got wet. “I’m so proud of you.” Felix took in a deep breath and met Chan’s eyes, basking in the man’s loving look. It was almost too much. He looked away and cleared his throat before he started bawling. 

“Would you like to hold her?” Chan’s head snapped up so fast Felix feared his neck broke. He looked stunned and Felix huffed. 

“Are you sure? She’s so young still, at her age too many scents can be confusing and she should be spending time with her immediate family only, or she’d –” 

“Have you been reading up on babies again?” Felix asked with a teasing smile and Chan blushed. 

“My charge just gave birth to a kid and will take care of said kid for at least eighteen years. Of course I’ll read up!” he defended and Felix laughed quietly, careful not to wake her up. She’d been sleeping for a long time now and was probably going to awaken for food soon, but she looked so peaceful like this, he didn’t want to disturb her. 

“Didn’t we establish that she will know your scent from birth already? You can hold her. If you want.” 

“I do!” Chan said quickly and then chuckled nervously. Felix bit down on a grin. A flustered Chan was endearing. “I don’t want to drop her,” he added and wiped his hands on his pants. Felix tried to move a little in the bed, freeing up more space on his left. 

“You can sit down, then dropping isn’t a big concern.” He’d been using that trick himself. Chan nodded and sat down next to Felix, his body twisted so that his legs hung off the side. Felix slowly handed Sun-Hi over. “Watch out fo –” 

“For the head yes.” Felix shook his head. He shouldn’t have doubted Chan would already know better than him how to handle a baby. Felix watched as the alpha cradled her close and leaned his head on Chan’s arm, closing his eyes in bliss. “Hi, Sun-Hi. She’s so tiny and so light.”

“Maybe it’s you that’s big! You work out too much. She didn’t feel tiny and light when I had her in my stomach!” Chan chuckled. 

“Right, sorry, sorry.” Felix nuzzled closer and watched her over Chan’s shoulder. “God, she’s perfect. You created an angel, sunshine. Seems appropriate.” Felix grinned and dragged himself even closer to semi-hug Chan, enjoying the way his scent wrapped around him and Sun-Hi both. Chan moved her weight to one arm only and reached out to caress her cheek with a finger carefully. Felix looked up to watch his face and realised his eyes were wetter than a few minutes ago. Felix’ heart skipped a beat upon the sight.

“I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, Channie-hyung.” 

“Always.”

“Could you – I want to ask something of you and I need you to promise me.” Chan finally looked away and glanced down at him with confusion. “She’ll be with me always, and you’re our security detail – well, officially you’re just mine, she can’t even walk so she doesn’t need one, but… I want you to promise me you’ll look after her too. And she’ll be your priority. If you have to protect both of us, you will focus on her first.” Chan stared at his face for a few long seconds. 

“I will not let anything happen to either of you.” Felix opened his mouth but Chan continued, “But she will take priority. Of course.” Felix smiled, relieved, and lied back down against Chan’s arm. They stayed in silence for a few minutes, watching her sleep.

“I don’t want to sound like a bad mom, but I’m so glad she’s out now! I am so excited to dance again. And to tie my own shoelaces!” Chan laughed, his whole body shaking. 

“What do you mean? You didn’t like it when Seungmin did it?” 

“I think if Seungmin sees me waiting by the door one more time, he’ll kick me out of my own house.” Chan laughed harder and Felix joined in. Sun-Hi started moving and blinked her eyes open – probably too much noise. She looked up with big doe eyes, seeming very startled and confused (which was how she had been looking every time she was awake, Felix noted), staring at Chan’s face. 

“Hello, little lady. I’m happy to finally meet you in person. I’m Chan. I’ll… be around. Always,” he said with a glance in Felix’ direction and Felix nodded. He moved up a bit so his face was in her field of view too. 

“Chan-hyung is mommy’s favorite person in the world, after you. You’ll be seeing a lot of him, baby. He keeps mommy safe and happy, and I know he’ll do that for you too, so you will be nice to Channie, right?” He spoke to her like they were making an actual deal and she held his eyes, looking constipated. Felix looked up at Chan’s face to find his jaw clenched, fighting tears, looking more vulnerable than he had seen him before. Felix remembered suddenly Chan’s fertility problem and leaned closer to put his face in the other’s neck and scent him. He hoped he could give the man the joys of a child, even if it was a second-hand experience. The alpha nuzzled his head too, placing a kiss on Felix’ shoulder, but didn’t scent him back. They were in public and Felix’ doctors and nurses obviously didn’t respect doctor-patient confidentiality, as he’d learned the hard way.

“She’s precious, look at that face. I can’t imagine her giving anyone trouble,” Chan said and Felix giggled. 

“Oh, hyung, you sound exactly like the person she’ll be exploiting the most and giving most trouble. Just wait a couple of months.” She made a noise of complaint and started wiggling her small body. 

“I think she doesn’t like you saying that, love. She agrees with me!” Chan announced with a grin, his voice going back to normal. 

“I think she is just hungry,” Felix retorted with a snort and took her from Chan’s arms. The alpha nodded. 

“Right, I’ll leave you to that then. I heard you’re being discharged the day after tomorrow, so I’ll see you then?” 

“Yeah, we’ll see you then,” Felix confirmed and they smiled at each other. 

“She really is perfect, Lix. You’ve done well,” Chan said, glancing at her again briefly. Felix’ chest warmed.

—

A few days after the birth, Felix was allowed to leave the hospital and take Sun-Hi home. He was glad to be away from the clinical environment and able to introduce his daughter to her crib and all the plush toys and soft blankets he’d prepared in his room. His mother, bless her heart, didn’t leave his side even for a moment, and his father and sisters joined soon after his return home to greet the new addition to the family.

They were all standing a few feet away, not to overwhelm her nose all at once – although according to Felix’ reading, she was going to be fine with their scents since he himself found them familiar and comforting – with only his mother sitting close and making physical contact.

“Oh wow, she’s… She – well –”

“Jesus, Olivia!”

Felix frowned a little, holding his daughter closer to his chest. “She’s perfect,” he said and his eyes involuntarily went to Chan, who was standing by the wall next to the living room entrance. The bodyguard gave him a small smile and a discreet nod. Chan agreed! Olivia’s opinion didn’t matter.

“Yes, she is!” his mom joined and reached out to caress Sun-Hi’s chubby cheek. Sun-Hi gave her a dirty side eye and Felix’ dad laughed loudly.

“Oh, she’s already taking after you! You used to look at me like that whenever your mom left me alone with you for more than a minute.” Felix smiled and looked down at his daughter. He hoped she would take mainly after him…

“She doesn’t look much like you though,” Rachel said and Felix snorted.

“She’s been alive for a week! She barely looks human, give her time!” Olivia gasped and flopped on the seat next to their dad.

“So when you insult her it’s fine, but when I do it –” Sun-Hi chose that moment to sneeze and Olivia blinked. “Oh wow that was the cutest thing I’ve seen!” Felix grinned, chest puffing out. Yes, she really was perfect. His mom cooed and reached out with a napkin. 

“Hey, where’s Doek-su?” Rachel asked suddenly and Felix froze. He exchanged a glance with Chan over her shoulder and cleared his throat.

“He’s really busy right now, an important deal with Japan is in the making and he can’t be home to see you guys,” Felix lied and immediately felt guilty about it. He didn’t actually know where his husband was. It was highly likely the alpha was in fact in the manor with them, but unwilling to leave work behind even for an hour. 

The situation with Doek-su was, as usual, odd. Sun-Hi was his daughter, his first and only child. He’d been there for the birth, albeit in the corner of the room trying hard not to watch, and he’d been there in the moments after, for the naming. He’d visited the hospital a couple of times briefly, smiled at her once, but that was all. The man didn’t seem ecstatic, didn’t kiss her forehead, didn’t talk to her in silly voices, didn’t feel the need to curl up around her and watch her chest rise up and down and trace his finger over her soft hair as she slept – the way Felix did. The way Felix had imagined his partner would one day. Maybe it was all those romance novels that had filled his head with ideas from an young age, but maybe it wasn’t. 

Felix was already planning on talking to the man if he continued being distant. They had a child now, she needed her two parents, she needed her alpha sire. She was going to need affection and love and – and his mere presence! 

“Felix?” He blinked and met his mother’s eyes, realising he’d zoned out for a moment. “I couldn’t help but notice he wasn’t around much in the time I’ve been here.” Felix’ grip on Sun-Hi tightened and he forced himself to loosen back up before he hurt her. They couldn’t know! He cleared his throat and quickly glanced at Chan, whose jaw was set but looked at him with tender eyes. Felix had already lied, he could do some more lying.

“Well, as I just said, there’s important things going on in the company right now,” he said and Rachel shook her head.

“More important than having a kid?”

“If they don’t figure out whatever it is he’s working on and the company goes bankrupt, his kid won’t be doing too well, Rach. He’s putting us first, I promise you. Also, he’s planning a two week vacation once you guys go back to Australia – so that he can be with Sun-Hi, too.” Now that one was so far-fetched that Felix didn’t believe his own imagination could conjure up such an idea. His father nodded.

“And we shouldn’t meddle in their marriage,” he added and bumped his shoulder into his wife’s. Felix gave him a strained smile.

“Really, everything is well. You know me – when have I not told you something!?” His mother smiled and agreed, and that only made the guilt in Felix’ chest intensify tenfold.

His family left after only four days and already on the first night Felix could feel their absence like a punch in the gut. He’d gotten accustomed to having two more people around to share the Sun-Hi duty with, his parents more than happy to wake up once a night and feed her from the bottle. It was Felix’ milk still, because he was producing more than a factory cow, but it allowed him to catch a few more blinks then he otherwise would have. The whole family was there to keep an eye on her during the day too and now it was just Felix, confined to his rooms with his baby 24/7. 

He loved her, he loved her more than anything, and he loved being with her. He just… wished her other parent showed his face too.

Just as he was mentally preparing to march up to Doek-su and demand he spent time with his daughter, there was a knock on the door and – speaking of the devil – his husband opened it wide, revealing himself and a beta in her thirties behind him. Felix had been about to send a strongly worded greeting Doek-su’s way but the presence of the unfamiliar woman had him freezing.

“Felix, beautiful! Come meet Sun-Bae. She will be our live-in nanny. She can take Sun-Hi off your hands.” Felix blinked and stepped away from the crib, closer to the door. A live-in nanny? To take his daughter off his hands? He wasn’t – they never even discussed – his husband just – take her off his hands!? Felix opened his mouth to speak a few times but didn’t even know where to start, anger and annoyance bubbling in his chest. He stared at Doek-su and wondered if his husband was right in the head. “He has better manners usually, I specifically had him follow a course for it,” Doek-su said in a joking tone, looking back at the beta and she chuckled timidly. Felix shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but what?”

“Ah, he’s still a bit disoriented with the birth and settling into parenthood. Greet Sun-Bae, Felix, and we can let her settle in. She’ll be staying in your wing. The guest room on the left.” Felix blinked a few times, staring at his husband’s face, which was now twitching in annoyance. Felix grit his teeth.

“Yes, excuse me please. Having a child and taking care of them on your own can be rather tiring.” He sent a look in Doek-su’s direction before giving her a small smile. “It is nice to meet you, Sun-Bae.” He bowed his head a little and she followed closely with a grin. “I am glad to have you available on a short notice and so close by, but be aware that I will very rarely need your assistance.” Then Doek-su was giving him a look and walking her out of the door promptly, as if it was Felix that had stepped in the wrong.

Felix quietly walked around in a circle on the carpet, waiting for his husband to come back. Because he was going to come back, the omega was certain. Hiring a live-in nanny! He couldn’t believe the audacity. The presumptuous ass had decided Felix wasn’t going to take care of his own child! Just because Doek-su himself was going to be a no-show, that didn’t mean Felix would also abandon her for virtual strangers to raise!

The door slammed open loudly and before Felix could say anything, his husband was already hissing in his face. “What was that behaviour earlier? I expect better of you, Felix.” His shoulders were squared up and he was stinking up the place and Felix felt the need to cower back and submit, but the cries of Sun-Hi from the other corner of the room had him growling back instead.

“What is your behaviour!? Don’t yell, you will scare Sun-Hi.” Felix glared and there must have been something in his face because Doek-su just clenched his teeth, his eyes flickering to the crib briefly. “How could you hire a live-in nanny without even discussing it with me? I cannot believe you. I’m not going to leave my baby to some stran –”

“Felix, you’re not living in poverty and barely making ends meet anymore,” Doek-su snapped and Felix’ mouth snapped shut. Although his family indeed struggled financially, they had never lived in poverty! The fact that the alpha considered their lifestyle so poor only made Felix angrier. “You can afford to have someone do all the mundane tasks so you can focus on –”

“I will focus on my daughter,” Felix snapped, teeth bared. “I will care for my baby and I will not dump her with a nanny, to only see once a month so she doesn’t forget my face. You better also not do that.” Their gazes held and Doek-su looked enraged, one eye twitching. Felix felt fear pool in his belly but he decided then and there he wasn’t going to ever step back when it came to his child. He could take Doek-su’s bullshit, but Sun-Hi was a beautiful little lady that was going to grow up loved and showered with attention and Felix was going to make sure that happened.

“Fine then. Break your back if that’s what you want,” his husband said, voice now more controlled, and took a step back. “I was trying to help you, Felix. To make sure you had free time for yourself, that you had help in raising her. It was supposed to be a surprise.” Doek-su shook his head, looking dejected, and for a second Felix wondered if he was in the wrong there. Maybe his husband had really wanted to help in the only way he knew how, with how emotionally stunted he was. Felix pursed his lips, thinking. “In any case, Sun-Bae is staying. Even if you don’t want her to take care of Sun-Hi all the time – just in case. Better have someone available 24/7 than look for someone on the spot during an emergency.”

Felix swallowed and looked away finally, admitting silently to himself that Doek-su was right there. Anything could happen – and Doek-su didn’t seem like he was going to be available, ever, for anything, so having an experienced child carer around was probably going to be beneficial.

“Especially when you get pregnant again, you will need all the help.” Felix froze and felt the hair on the back of his neck raise. Absently, he noted that Sun-Hi was still making noises from her crib behind him. “When is your next heat, beautiful? I can’t wait.” Doek-su was caressing his cheek now, as if they hadn’t fought just a minute prior, and Felix’ mind raced.

Yes, he wanted to have more children, now that he had seen how beautiful Sun-Hi was and how proud and happy he felt just looking at her breathe and gaze around. He wanted siblings for her, but not now! He’d already provided Doek-su with an heir, even if his husband was being an ass about genders, and he needed a break. He needed to not push out another baby months after the first one. 

Doek-su was now rubbing at Felix’ scent gland on his neck, making him cringe. His mouth opened to speak more but Felix withdrew quickly and shook his head. “No. Sorry, but no. I gave birth three weeks ago and just now stopped shitting out placenta.” Doek-su made a disgusted face and Felix lifted his chin. “The first couple of heats after a pregnancy aren’t even real heats. They’re just pseudoheats to get my body back on track. We’re not having sex during those, I refuse. Not until my body has fully recovered!” His husband blinked, looking shocked, and Felix took some sick satisfaction at that.

“Are you ins – This is up to six months wasted o–”

“Yes, it is.” Doek-su’s eyes narrowed and Felix realised his tone was getting too confident. He took a step backwards and lowered his voice. “Do you really want to get me pregnant while my body can’t handle it? Would you risk your child, your heir, like that? Do you – do – do you want them to be disabled?” Doek-su grimaced and Felix swallowed. It was a low blow and Felix hated himself for using that argument. It wasn’t even correct that the risk of disability was higher right after pregnancy. He made that up because he knew what Doek-su cared about. Felix didn’t care. He was going to love his child, no matter what. “I’m spending these heats on my own,” he announced with finality in his voice and held Doek-su’s gaze for a long time. His husband shook his head with a sigh.

“Alright. You win, Felix. But the second your real heats start, your ass is mine.”

Doek-su was long gone and Felix was feeding Sun-Hi, relishing in his small victory, when he remembered that he hadn’t managed to tell his husband off for how little attention he paid to his daughter. Sun-Hi watched him with her big eyes and Felix smiled at her sadly. Perhaps one win had to be enough for now. But he was going to talk to Doek-su soon, he promised her that.

—

Felix’ friends didn’t get to properly meet Sun-Hi for some time, with the hurried birth, and then the visit of his family, and then Felix’ attempt to adapt to parenthood on his own. Jisung and Jeongin and Seungmin had all seen her around the house, of course, inevitable when they shared the same space on the daily, but Felix only had the strength and time to organise a small get together with all of them around the one month mark.

“Oh, but you’re the sweetest, aren’t you?” Jisung cooed, leaning closer to brush their noses together and bouncing her gently in his arms. Although he was definitely trying to be careful with her, Felix couldn’t stop himself from keeping one hand under her body, ready to catch her at any moment. He was going to be a helicopter parent, he just knew it. Also, Jisung was prone to getting distracted. “Lix-ah, she’s the cutest!” Felix grinned, feeling proud yet again.

“Of course she is,” he said, looking at her wide beautiful eyes as she stared up at the other omega in astonishment.

“Why don’t you have one of your own then, Sung-ah?” Changbin mocked and Jisung turned to him with a glare. Changbin had been more reserved, standing a meter to the side and looking but not touching.

“Why don’t you come closer, Bin-hyung? Scared you’ll like her too much and snatch her in the middle of the night?”

“No snatching of my daughter, please.” Felix gave Jisung a pointed look and grabbed Sun-Hi from his hands to give to Changbin. The omega’s eyes widened comically but he did catch her, holding her head properly too. Felix smiled at the way she got lost inbetween the muscles. “See, not that scary!”

“She really is the sweetest,” Changbin whispered and Sun-Hi made a noise of agreement.

Felix wasn’t one to subscribe to subgender stereotypes, but he had to admit he was a lot more trusting of his omega friends when it came to knowing how to handle a baby than…

“Why is she making noises?” Seungmin complained and Felix watched as he tried to adjust his grip but she only got fussier.

“You’re not supposed to hold her like that,” Jeongin said and pushed on his shoulder. Seungmin swayed on his feet and Felix almost saw stars.

“What’s wrong with how I’m doing it?!” Seungmin asked, outraged, and Jeongin rolled his eyes, reaching out to grab Sun-Hi. “No!” Seungmin moved his arms away and Felix’ eyes widened at their manhandling. He started marching towards the alphas, but Chan got there before him.

“You two only look from afar,” the bodyguard scolded, leveling them with a glare, and got a pair of sheepish smiles in return. “Is Hyunjin-ah next?” Chan asked then and Felix kissed Sun-Hi’s fisted hand, nodding.

Hyunjin took her in a bit anxiously, but held her steady, Minho leaning close to take a look, and Felix decided to take a seat. He was exhausted and Chan was now there to make sure the baby was going to be alright. Changbin circled close and winked at Hyunjin. “Well, don’t you make a hot dad?” Hyunjin smirked and turned to Jeongin.

“You know, I can bitch you into an omega. Then I can be an actual hot dad,” he said and left the younger gaping, red in the face. Felix tsked.

“Hey, none of those in front of the baby!”

“Also, that’s sexist,” Jisung protested immediately, passionately. “Bitching isn’t even a thing! That’s just what perverse kinky people think.”

“Don’t kink-shame now,” Hyunjin countered.

“Jeongin-ah should’ve been bitched already, if that’s how this worked,” Seungmin said with an eye roll and Felix’ mouth fell open. What was that supposed to –

“Hyung!” Jeongin gasped and hit his arm. “You’re not supposed to talk about that!”

“Minnie, you should already be bitched too. Don’t act all high and mighty now,” Changbin added and Felix blinked, gaping. He got up to take hold of his daughter, shaking his head.

“Okay, I think that’s enough of that for now, yeah?” He was going to file all that information for later, whenever he had the headspace for it. Minho snorted and approached, caressing the baby’s cheek while the others continued to whisper-fight in the background. 

“She’s cute, Felix.”

“Right! She’s the best,” Jisung agreed as he came close, too, and Felix nodded at Sun-Hi.

“Would you like to hold her?” Minho’s eyes widened for a second and he shook his head, looking petrified. 

“She doesn’t bite, you know,” Chan said with a smug grin and Minho glared. 

“She might start biting soon,” Felix added. “She does like putting everything in her mouth.” In that moment, as the good daughter that she was, Sun-Hi helped illustrate his point by moving her head and popping Minho’s finger in her mouth.

“Chan-hyung, you’re a liar,” the alpha deadpanned as he pulled his finger out. Felix chuckled and watched Chan kiss her forehead, encouraging her developing biting habits like the bad influence that he was. 

—

Felix was so, so tired. The exhaustion was seeping into his body and acting like a second set of gravity that dragged him down and down and down. He wanted to curl up in bed, in his parents’ bed, surrounded by his mother’s sweet peachy comforting scent, and sleep for days. He was so tired. How big of a wish was it to simply want a small nap? Any sleep – a few blinks – was welcome in that moment.

Sun-Hi’s screaming from the other side of the door seemed to intensify and Felix pulled at his hair, feeling tears gather on the edge of his eyes. He just wanted it to stop. Hours – she’d been at it for hours and nothing made it better. His scalp started hurting and Felix let off and buried his face in his hands. Sun-Hi’s screams were persistent and seemed even louder now that he was in the bathroom, instead of tuned out. Or maybe he was overstimulated after spending five weeks straight taking care of an infant on no sleep. God, she was such a light sleeper and had such big lungs. Felix flinched when her cries became more high pitched.

God, please, he needed it to stop! He needed help! He needed his useless, negligent asshole of a husband to do his fatherly duties. He needed his mom who always knew what to do when a baby was distressed. He needed help. He needed sleep.

Felix could barely comprehend his own actions but there was suddenly a phone – his phone – next to his cheek, and Chan’s voice in his ear. “Felix? Is everything okay? It’s way past your bedti–”

“I don’t have a bedtime anymore,” he snapped and curled up further into himself. “She’s screaming and it’s not stopping and – God, I want – I’m one step away from throwing a toaster in the bathtub and jumping in!” Felix started crying by the end of his tirade, too tired and stressed out to care about embarrassing himself. “I’m in the bathroom and I can still hear her! I don’t know what to do!”

“Hold on, I’m coming, Lix.” The call was cut off and Felix dropped the phone on the soft carpet, continuing to bail not unlike his daughter on the other side of the wall.

Time didn’t really make sense in the deep of the night, not when Felix never even got to put his head on the pillow for more than twenty consecutive minutes. So it was hard to know when the alpha entered his rooms, but at some point Felix’ ears started picking up the man’s voice in-between Sun-Hi’s cries. He couldn’t discern speech as the baby continued wailing loudly, but at least Chan was with her. Felix closed his eyes shut tightly and prayed for a miracle. 

Chan didn’t let off and talked to Sun-Hi for a full ten minutes according to Felix’ phone, not discouraged by her still present fussing. She was getting quieter, however. Then the bodyguard started singing to her and Felix pressed closer to the door, oddly comforted by the action too. When Sun-Hi was barely audible, Felix cracked the door open to peek out. Chan had her in his arms, gently rocking her and singing softly. Sun-Hi seemed to be looking up at the alpha and becoming quieter and quieter.

A few seconds – or a century – later, Felix snapped awake suddenly and realised he was being placed down on his bed. He must have dozed off. His eyes met Chan’s and the alpha smiled. The room was noiseless, calm. “You should get some sleep. I’ll stay and feed her with one of the ready bottles when she wakes up again. Don’t worry about it. Alright, love? I’ve got you.” Felix nodded silently and felt himself tear up again. He looked away, ashamed.

“You probably think I’m the worst mother,” he whispered and pulled his knees to his chest. Chan shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“I think that you’re a single mother with too much on your hands. I think you need to sleep and will feel much better afterwards.” Felix reached out for Chan, seeking the alpha’s touch and approval. He really needed sleep. He loved Sun-Hi, he was ready to lay his life down so she could be happy and healthy. He just… needed sleep. Chan grasped his hand and brought it to his lips. Felix’ heart fluttered. Their alpha was there, he was going to help. His mind and eyes were getting blurry. “You can sleep, love. I’ve got her. Good night, Lixie.”

“Night, Channie.”

He slept like a baby that night – well into the day too, only joining the world of the waking people past noon. He slept quite well, with some interruptions, the following night too. And the one after. Chan started dropping in during the night, similarly to how he’d often visited towards the end of Felix’ pregnancy. Back then he’d helped with back rubs and calf cramps and now he fed Sun-Hi from the bottle and got her to sleep from time to time so that Felix didn’t have to rely on himself only. Felix was more than grateful. He was thankful to the point of tears, finally being able to sometimes rest and feel like himself. He made sure to kiss and cuddle Sun-Hi extra hard and often for a few days too, to apologise for his disgusting behaviour. 

With the alpha there, however, he never deteriorated to such a point again. Chan – he was probably the best thing to happen to Felix. After Sun-Hi.

Sun-Hi was really the center of his life, and that got reflected in his weekly vlogs. He got nervous at times as his content had completely shifted to the baby’s firsts and tackling life and work as a young mom – and he already had to go back into both the workfield and school, if only to stop Doek-su from making back-handed comments and giving him looks as they encountered each other in the mansion. The rebranding was losing him some old viewers but also bringing others in, and Felix was just happy that the majority of his community was respectful and positive when it came to Sun-Hi. The fans were embracing his step into motherhood and Felix let their kind words and cute edits boost his mood frequently. 

Even though he slowly started picking up tasks, he still stubbornly refused to use the nanny’s services. He asked his friends to play babysitter occasionally, for at most an hour at a time, but he wasn’t going to show Doek-su that his hire had been needed. Felix could raise his child himself! That was a hill he decided worth dying on and just a couple of days after his decision, his body decided to play him a yet another prank. Felix entered his first pseudo heat.

It wasn’t a real heat, he didn’t want to fuck, but he did experience all the other negatives that came with a heat. The cramps and the loneliness and the overstimulating sounds and scents. Chan, the amazing alpha that he was, brought him water and food every few hours, and kept everyone else and their smell away from Felix’ rooms. Felix still had Sun-Hi with him, keeping him company and calming him down with her familiar milky scent. But this heat was meant to be spent with an alpha just as much as a normal heat was if not more – not for sex, but for comfort, scenting, hormone regulation. That was, of course, a luxury that Felix couldn’t afford. Not with his cold and detached sex-crazed husband.

Every time his bodyguard entered the room with a platter of olives and cheese and grapes, and asked if he needed anything else, and smiled at his daughter with the big dimples and then left, Felix felt like crying. He did start crying at the end of the first day upon Chan’s arrival.

Chan had the scent of an alpha that liked him, that cared about him. And Felix liked and cared about him too. Chan was someone that provided safety and happiness and comfort and calmth. And… Felix just wanted that always. Wanted it all to himself. Wanted to spend his heat with Chan. But that was something that he couldn’t ask for, inappropriate. Forbidden even; he was married to Chan’s employer.

His eyes tracked Chan’s movements as the man brought him fresh water and checked his temperature before caressing Sun-Hi’s cheek with one finger. Their gazes met then and Felix pled wordlessly. Chan licked his lips and cleared his throat.

“Lix, would you – do you, uh…” Chan rubbed the back of his head and Felix felt hope in his chest. “Do you want me to stay with you here?” Felix sobbed out and nodded rapidly, reaching out towards the alpha. The man quickly made himself comfortable behind Felix, pulling him and Sun-Hi close to his chest. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I’m here.”

“You don’t have to do this, Chan-hyung,” Felix said quietly and Chan tightened his arm around Felix’ waist.

“No, I don’t have to. There’s very little I have to do… Pay taxes maybe,” Chan mused and Felix huffed. “But I want to,” the alpha said and Felix made a satisfied noise in the back of his throat.

“You’re always there for me – for us,” Felix picked up suddenly and turned his head to look at Chan’s face. The man looked away and Felix could see him get red. “I – I wish I could also – I want to be there for you too.”

“You are,” Chan whispered and Felix narrowed his eyes.

“I’ve literally never done anything.”

“You’ve done more than you know,” Chan said cryptically and Felix furrowed his brows further. Chan smiled and kissed his nose, then continued before Felix could speak. “Your presence is more than enough, Lix. And you actually seem interested in what I have to say. You listen to me – that’s new. You’ve seen the six little idiots. It’s like they left their working pair of ears at home.” Felix chuckled.

“That’s assuming they had a working pair in the first place,” he added and Chan’s smile widened.

“Speaking of, have I told you of that one time when Seungmin decided we ought to go on a camping trip?” Felix shook his head with a grin and Chan started on his story. The pain and anguish of the heat barely reared their ugly heads, Felix noticed, when he was with the alpha. For the millionth time, he found himself craving something he couldn’t have.

Sun-Hi woke up half an hour later, after they’d changed topics twice, and Felix pressed a kiss to her forehead. She made a noise of protest and Felix hummed. “A meal for one incoming, yes, yes.”

“Oh. I’ll leave you to it then,” Chan said suddenly and Felix’ head snapped back to him.

“No!” There was a moment of silence and Felix realised he’d been a bit too forceful. He cleared his throat. “I mean if you want to, you can go of course. I just – I don’t mind you staying here, you know.”

“I’ll stay,” Chan reassured after a few seconds and something in Felix lightened.

“Could you also – give me that top?” Felix asked, glancing down at the T-shirt the alpha was wearing. Chan blinked but didn’t fight it. 

“Of course.”

Felix spent his first pseudo heat in Chan’s arms, in Chan’s clothes and with Chan’s help. He never wanted it to end.

Chapter Text

Felix was scared to take Sun-Hi beyond the gates of the mansion, she was so very tiny and fragile still, but he knew he had to venture out with her at some point. He was soon going to go back to working in the office and hopefully visiting the studio often again, and his daughter had to be outside of the house for that. So he decided a small trip to check in on Hyunjin and Minho – and possibly dance – with Sun-Hi strapped to his body was a good first step.

Too much time had passed since he went dancing. Felix was looking forward to the studio visit, but simultaneously felt anxious about it. He’d never gone this long without dancing, not since he picked it up when he was a child. He’d also never had gained this much weight and felt so soft around the edges. His whole body still felt different, even though it had been months since the birth. At times it was as though he was in someone else’s lump of flesh. Felix wanted to dance again, to reconnect with his body, to go back to regularly exercising and feel like himself again. He knew he’d get there eventually, after a few more months of visiting the gym at home and the studio every other day, and going back to the hectic life style that he had gotten used to, away from the four walls of his rooms. But the first step there was always scary.

It did feel good, despite his apprehensions. Being on the dance floor again, falling in sync with Minho and Hyunjin, moving to the music. Felix got tired after not too long and needed more breaks than he normally would but neither of his friends pointed that out. It was simply nice, falling back into an old habit that had always brought him joy.

“You did good! You should start coming more often again,” Minho was telling him and Felix had to appreciate the motivation.

“Yeah, I missed it a lot.”

“We’re not going to judge you if you need more breaks or aren’t as flexible as before from the beginning.” Felix looked away from Hyunjin, who had his shirt off and was flaunting his toned stomach around, with Changbin drooling to the side and doing his best to yet again charm the alpha. Felix used to have a toned stomach too, about a year ago. 

“I wasn’t – I didn’t think you’d judge me,” Felix defended and pulled his hoodie lower over his hips and ass. Minho raised an eyebrow and Felix looked back at the other two just as Hyunjin reached out to squeeze Changbin’s gigantic pecs. Felix had never had a very sculpted and muscled chest, but he’d never had saggy breasts either, like he did now. He held in a sigh. His whole body was off. All the excitement and elation from dancing was slowly dispersing.

“Look. I’m not an omega and I don’t – I’m not good with emotional conversations, but if you need to talk about… your struggles with having a child –”

“Everything is fine, there’s no struggles, Minho-hyung,” Felix cut off, feeling himself go red in the face. Was it that obvious? That he’d been having some difficulties lately? Minho gave him a look but Felix gave him an even more intense look and the alpha took a step back, retaliating. “Anyway, I’ll make sure to say hi to Jisung from you. And I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Who said I want to tell Jisung hi?” Minho asked with narrowed eyes, but his ears were turning red and Felix bit back a grin.

“Lix, the little lady needs to feed, I’m afraid,” Chan said suddenly as he came to stand by him. Felix took in the way the alpha held her gently and smiled. As they transferred the baby from one set of hands to other, Minho cleared his throat.

“Do tell him hi, I guess.” Felix bumped their shoulders together and headed for the bathroom.

A few minutes later, they were on their way out. Changbin left the building first, but ran back in within moments. Felix picked up screams while the door was open for him to slip out and in, and took a step back anxiously. The travel there had went without a hitch and Felix somehow forgot that mobbing was a real danger. He placed a hand on Sun-Hi’s head and pressed her close to his chest. His eyes met Chan’s at the same time as the alpha’s hand made its way to Felix’ back.

“It will be okay, Lixie. I promise. I’ve got you.” Felix held his eyes for a few seconds and nodded slowly. Chan got them, he always did.

They walked out and madness immediately surrounded them. There were so many loud voices and questions – Can we see the Choi heir? Is it true that she’s an illegitimate child? She’s precious! Mr. Choi, do you have a moment? – no, he did not have even a second to spare. Not when his child was screaming in his ear. Felix tried to shush her, pushing her face deeper and deeper into his neck, into his scent gland, but knowing that ultimately he was close to tears himself and his distressed scent was not as comforting as he wished it to be.

Felix walked slowly through the crowd, huddled as close as possible to Chan, who was making a way for them through the crowd, a step behind Changbin. The alpha had an arm around him and was using the other one to roughly push aside journalists, cameramen and fans alike. They were reaching out, grabbing and pulling, and Felix could swear a hand touched Sun-Hi over the harness. Felix grit his teeth and tried to hold a growl back. Didn’t they see and hear the crying baby stuck in the middle of it all? Didn’t they know manners – who were they to touch a small infant like that? Was this really the optimal time to ask him his views on Doek-su’s latest policy change!? Felix sometimes regretted learning Korean.

A hand reached past him and brushed against his daughter’s hair and Felix immediately turned to face the intruder with bared teeth. It was a young grinning girl and likely a fan of his, the rational part of his brain would analyse later on, but in that moment all he could think about was Sun-Hi being in danger. Chan pulled him sideways to snarl at the girl and then dragged him further on with renewed vigor. Sun-Hi cried harder and Felix felt the panic within him rise even higher. He needed them to get out. Immediately.

“Step the fuck back!” Chan yelled in Korean, pushing roughly a cameraman. Felix watched his camera fall to the ground and didn’t blink. “You’re scaring the baby. Move aside. Step up!”

It took a while, longer than Felix would have liked, to get to the car. Once they were all in, Changbin was speeding within seconds. Sun-Hi was still screaming, her face red, and Felix wondered how overwhelming this must have felt to her, with all those new scents and sounds and people, when it affected him, a grown adult, so much.

“Hey, baby, it’s all good. We’re all good.” He rubbed his cheek against her soft hair and squeezed her close, not planning to let go anytime soon. “We’ll go home now and get a nice warm bath and then read your favourite books and play with the purple ball, the bouncy one. Yeah? Nothing scary anymore, little lady. It’s just mommy now.” He moved her body so their noses could touch and smiled at her a little. She was starting to quiet down, still whining but less loud. Felix’ eyes strayed to Chan. The alpha looked agitated, chest still puffed up, fists clenched, intensely staring down at Sun-Hi as if she was going to disappear if he took his eyes off even for a second. “Mommy and Chan-hyung. See, Channie is right there? Do you want to tell Channie thank you for helping us get to safety?”

Their eyes met and Felix pulled on the alpha’s hand to bring him closer so they were shoulder to shoulder. Felix turned towards him in his seat and placed his face into the crook of Chan’s neck, taking a deep whiff of the strong scent he found there. It was quickly changing and softening, becoming more and more comforting and loving and Felix hid a small smile into the man’s hoodie. Chan leaned down to nuzzle his face against Sun-Hi.

“Thank you, hyung.”

“Always, love. I’ve got you.”

Felix and Sun-Hi did take a warm bath, and as he was putting her into the crib, his ears could pick up a loud smash. There were footsteps and voices getting nearer and Felix left his daughter’s side quickly to run to the door. The last thing she needed was to be rudely awakened by whatever was going on. He opened the door just as his husband was reaching for it, it seemed. Felix’ eyes widened at the sight of the angry alpha and he swiftly slid outside and closed the door shut behind himself to save Sun-Hi the drama.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly and Doek-su took a step back with a scoff. His scent betrayed just how enraged he was and Felix fought against cowering.

“What’s wrong!? You took her out and you didn’t even run it past me!” Doek-su yelled and Felix flinched. What was that supposed to – Felix grit his teeth. He wasn’t going to ask permission to take his daughter on a twenty-minute car ride to the studio! Least of all ask Doek-su who barely even acknowledged her existence. He was also not planning on raising her within the mansion like Rapunzel.

“Stop yelling. She’s asleep. Or do you only care about her when it makes the news?”

Felix knew he made a mistake and shouldn’t have snapped back the moment the words left his mouth, and he knew with even more certainty once his ear started ringing and his cheek started stinging. He gasped, looking up at the alpha with wide eyes and folding into himself.  

“Sorry, Felix,” Doek-su said after what was a full minute of silence. He looked calmer now, his scent already changing. “It’s been a long day, and I’ve spent the last few hours trying to settle down the press and working on a public statement – to tell people to back off from my family and not mob them – not mob you and Sun-Hi. I’m trying so hard for you two. To look out for you. And you’re really not making it easy, Felix.” His husband ran a hand through his hair and reached out but Felix stepped backwards, his back hitting the door. “I didn’t mean to silence you like that, beautiful. I’m sorry.”

His cheek hurt and he was pretty sure there was blood in his mouth. Felix stared up at the mask of his husband and swallowed. Yes, he did mean it. And Felix was scared. He nodded silently and Doek-su left quickly after that. 

Felix went back into his room and curled up on the bed after giving Sun-Hi a forehead kiss. He hadn’t had time to check social media, but he hoped there was nothing too bad following the events of the day. And there wasn't; just images and videos of the mob as usual and nothing to elicit such a strong reaction. The worst he could find was an article on Sun-Hi possibly having too light hair to be of true Choi parentage. Felix had to roll his eyes at that one. 

TikTok as usual had his back. There were a number of videos on the audacity and lack of human compassion of mobs. And then there were… the thirst traps. The Chan edits.

Biting his lip, Felix looked around the room as though Doek-su would appear out of thin air the moment he clicked on that video in particular. He did click, in the end. Despite the trauma from earlier, very well captured in the video, and despite the obviously angry and threatening look Chan was sending the camera, Felix had to admit, the alpha was extremely attractive. Sexy. Especially in this protective mode. Bookmarking the video, Felix scrolled onto the next one – this time with seductive music added. Hottest bodyguard of Korea, indeed.

Alarmingly, there was also footage of some less public moments. A snippet of Chan opening the door for him to leave McDonalds – and it was a miracle they only got that on tape – and another one of the two of them eating ice cream on a bench at the park. Nothing incriminating, thankfully, and if there was something of the sort, Felix would have already heard about it from Doek-su and his PR team. But it did remind Felix that his life was public knowledge now and if he wanted to be close to his bodyguard, it was best to keep that behind closed doors.

—

The omega nights were something Felix always looked forward to. Before Seoul and Doek-su, he’d had his mom to confide in but even then, there were some topics that were just plain awkward to share with her. Now, he had not only one but two close omega friends his age that he could discuss anything with. He was starting to appreciate them more and more now that the baby was here. Chan was a God-sent and he could talk about everything with the man, but he was an alpha, so some things were just above his understanding. 

“It’s a thing, okay? I’ve done my research. It’s very likely that, you know, I’ll just continue being all loose and disgusting down there. It keeps me up at night sometimes.” Changbin and Jisung exchanged a look over Sun-Hi’s head and Felix held in a sigh. Okay, even his omega friends sometimes found it hard to relate. 

“I feel like it doesn’t work that way,” Jisung said smartly, passing the baby to Changbin, and then continued before Felix could interrupt. “I mean – the body probably can repair the damage. We – uh, that part down there was made for this, right?” 

“I looked it up. There’s literally surgeries that give your… channel… a lift to make it tighter. That wouldn’t exist if things like that didn’t happen!” Felix argued and rubbed his soft belly. It was genuinely a fear of his now. That things were irreversibly changed down there; that he was undesirable. He even watched a YouTube video of a vlogger couple talking about it. The alpha openly admitted sex with the omega wasn’t as fun anymore! Not that Felix cared about Doek-su’s enjoyment. But…

“I don’t have experience with this, obviously,” Changbin began, taking him out of his thoughts, “but I do think things will go back to normal. You also literally got stitched back together, no?” That was true. Felix shuddered at the blurry memories of the hospital. Sun-Hi started fussing and Changbin looked at her again, bouncing her in his arms.

“Even if it doesn’t completely go back to normal – what? You pushed out a whole baby! You should own it!” Jisung said loudly, face determined and getting passionately red. “Why should anyone dictate how you look and feel about it? People also don’t like Changbin’s bulk as an omega, but see – does he care? No!” Felix glanced at the omega in question and he shook his head. “I have two tattoos – did you know?” 

Felix gasped. It was the twenty-first century, so nowadays parlors also offered their services to omegas, but very rarely were those services actually used by omegas. Tattoos in the not too long gone past used to be brandings. Specifying who an omega belonged to and their fertility status. Omegas had fought hard to abolish that system, so reverting back to tattooing their bodies was seen as liberating in some places, but very much frowned upon in others. South Korea fell in the latter category. 

“You have tattoos?” Felix asked, shocked, and Jisung nodded proudly. “Can I see them?”

“Yes, look!” Jisung started taking off his shirt as Changbin held out Sun-Hi with a grimace.

“Sorry, I think she wants her mom.” She was still fussing, getting louder. Felix just smiled and brought her close to his body. 

“Wow, that’s a big one. Very pretty though,” Felix said as he trailed a finger over Jisung’s side. The boy grinned with a nod.

“Yeah right!” He was suddenly putting his shirt back on quickly and Felix turned to the door to see his bodyguard enter the room with a carefree grin on his face. “Chan-hyung, you should knock!” 

The alpha did, belatedly. “I see you’re sharing secrets? Am I intruding?” Felix snickered and waved him in, feeling in a lighter mood than half an hour ago.

“Yeah, we are,” Changbin said with a snort. “Are you gonna contribute? I know you’ve got lots.” Felix gave Chan a curious look and the alpha huffed as he sat down by him, Sun-Hi immediately reaching out a hand towards him. 

“My life isn’t that interesting, Binnie.” He gave the baby his pointer finger and she immediately put it in her mouth. Felix chuckled and shared a look with Chan.

“Chan-hyung never finished high school,” Jisung announced suddenly and Felix’ eyes widened. Chan’s face transformed and all the warmth and happiness he had directed at Sun-Hi were replaced by a cold glare at the omega. 

“Oh wow you really did him dirty,” Changbin said lowly and Felix tried to catch Chan’s eyes. 

“Why? If you don’t mind me asking, hyung. Otherwise we can change the topic.”

“Yeah, let’s change the topic.” Chan looked back down at the little girl and Felix nodded, giving the other two a glare. It was obviously a touchy subject, they shouldn’t have brought it up like that! But it was something he hadn’t expected from the alpha. He filed it in for later.

Outside of the omega nights, Jisung and Changbin often babysat Sun-Hi when Felix had a short online meeting to take from home, or needed to run a quick errand. They were the best friends Felix could ask for. He tried to use the nanny’s services as rarely as possible, insisting on spending all time with his daughter and only ever letting others take care of her for short periods of time or when strictly necessary. The nanny came in handy for galas.

The first time he left Sun-Hi alone for longer than an hour was for the company’s birthday party – gala – and naturally Doek-su insisted on Sun-Bae looking after their daughter. Felix agreed on the spot, but the moment his husband walked away, he visited the staff house to make sure Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin would stay in the mansion and keep an eye and ear out the whole time. They updated him every hour. 

“Dropped off your letters. She’s doing fine” – Jeongin

“They came up to warm her milk, she’s good, dw Lixie” – Jisung

Felix smiled at the latest update from Seungmin and showed it to Chan discreetly. The alpha’s lip twitched upwards and Felix felt his grin widen further. He just wanted to go back to her, he missed his baby. He hoped apart from the exams that he had coming up – special opportunities outside of exam period, organised or paid for by Doek-su, since he had skipped the typical exam week because of Sun-Hi – he wasn’t going to part with her for that long for a while. 

“Your phone is ringing, sir.” Chan’s quiet voice in his ear sent shivers down his spine and Felix took too long to realise he’d been addressed. He looked away from the plump lips and finally registered the words. Felix glanced at his phone – his father – and his eyes widened; he’d been expecting that call! He’d been on edge all day, awaiting news on his mother’s latest minor surgery and whether her condition had improved. He looked around and shuffled to the side, pressing against the wall to make himself as invisible as possible for privacy. Chan took a stance in front of him, his wide shoulders covering him fully and Felix was more than thankful.

“Hi, dad. How is mom?” She was probably awake already. The surgery had went fine, but she had still been under the last time Rachel texted him.

“She’s awake and responsive, she’s good, son. She was asking for – it’s so loud, where are you?” His dad sounded irritated but Felix knew it wasn’t targeted at him; his omega had just been through a stressful surgery and had taken a long time to awaken. He’d probably been scared to death.

“There’s a gala. It’s the company’s birthday so I couldn’t miss it,” Felix explained, feeling a bit self-conscious. He didn’t want his father to think he was out partying while his mother fought for her life.

“So Sun-Hi isn’t there?”

“No, the nanny’s taking care of her for the evening.”

“Tsk, Felix. Are you letting other people raise your child?” The disapproval in his dad’s voice was obvious. Felix felt like he was slapped. He’d been trying so hard to be there with Sun-Hi every single day, every hour of it, had fought hard to be the one raising her. This was the first time since her birth that he left her to someone else for so long – not counting letting Chan take over during a few very draining nights, Chan was special. He was stretching out thin between school and work and a small child and his dad just – he – Felix was more insulted than he could describe.

“I’d like to talk to my mom, if that’s okay with you,” Felix snapped back and felt his scent sour further and further. His father said something biting back, but he didn’t process it, because there was suddenly a warm hand on his side. He turned around and found Chan closer than he’d expected. The alpha rubbed his thumb up and down and gave him a small smile, his own scent strong and curling around him in a way Felix wanted Chan himself to embrace him. They couldn’t, not in public, so he basked in the comforting scent and tried to smile back.

“Hi, baby. How are you?” The faint voice of his mom took him out of it and he instinctively smiled. She was okay!

“Hi, mom. I should be asking you that!”

—

The next pseudoheat hit Felix like a bus. He’d expected something akin to the first one but obviously his traitorous body was almost ready to bear even more children, so on the day he was supposed to get it, he woke up sweaty and hungry and moody. His first thought had been to text Chan and so he did. While still coherent, he also texted his husband; to let him know they would still not be sharing this heat, and to ask him to stay away. Felix couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pleasure when he received a plain thumbs up by Doek-su. He felt in control of his body, and that was, sadly, novel.

Felix didn’t have the desire to do a lot, eating and cuddling in bed was going to do. Chan brought Sun-Hi’s crib to his side of the bed and laid down by Felix, pulling him closer and feeding him olives. Felix felt blissed out. He listened to the alpha talk about his grandma back home that he’d managed to visit again during Felix’ last trip to Australia and hummed in some places, asking questions in others, fed Sun-Hi when Chan handed her to him, and dozed off without even noticing.

When he woke up from his nap, his whole body was burning. Felix didn’t even feel fully awake, it was like a dream: he was so hot, he was so dazed and at ease, his muscles completely pliant and relaxed, and by God he was so turned on. His hard dick was pressed against something big and warm, and his nose was buried in the most breathtaking scent. He whimpered and moved his hips experimentally without even opening his eyes. The friction against his length made him moan lowly and he continued humping, one hand fisting into the sheets.

It was the best feeling ever. Felix could catch the milky scent of his daughter close by, and somehow didn’t feel worried or panicked, with the need to check in – he knew she was alright. They were always alright whenever he could smell the summer breeze on the Sydney beach.

Felix bit his lip and pressed harder into the warmth below him, faintly registering that there were voices in the background, sounding far away, as if from the deep of the ocean. “And then the fox jumped out of the bushes and held his hands up, giving up. So Dora – uh, wait baby.” There was a hand on the back of his head suddenly and Felix gasped at the touch. He needed more. He craved it. “Felix, hey sunshine. You might want to stop going that while your daughter is also in the bed… Let me put her in the crib, eh?”

The warmth – it was Chan, it was his alpha – moved away and got up from the bed, leaving Felix to whine quietly and thrust into the air. His eyes opened involuntarily and he had to blink away sleep before they finally focused on Chan standing by the crib. Felix stared as the man placed a number of toys inside, as well as her small book, as if she was going to open it and read it, before coming back to the bed. The couple of minutes in the cold air, away from the intoxicating scent of the alpha were enough to wake up at least a part of his brain.

What he’d done wasn’t – they weren’t like that. Chan had been gracious enough to help him out during that one heat, and then a few times when pregnancy hormones didn’t let him sit still from arousal, but – apart from that, they weren’t like that. Chan just helped, helped with everything, and Felix loved him for it, but he couldn’t climb him like a tree the way he had whenever he felt like it.

“Sorry, Chan-hyung. That was… inappropriate.” Chan snorted as he stepped closer. 

“Ah, I think even more inappropriate stuff has happened before,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. His ears were going red and Felix wondered what he was thinking about. The time the alpha had sucked his milk dry in the company toilet swam up to the top of Felix’ mind and he had to squeeze his legs together, feeling another wave of arousal hit him. “Also, uh, I mean – you’re in your heat. It’s just bodies being bodies, you know?”

Felix nodded slowly and his eyes fell to Chan’s torso. He could clearly see the outline of his chest with that tight shirt and he – he wanted . Felix cleared his throat. “Uh – yeah, that’s – I’m in heat. It – it needs to be taken care of, I guess…” He could feel himself blush too. He didn’t have it in him to suggest what he was thinking and he hoped, he prayed, the alpha was going to pick up on it and say it out loud himself. Chan finally sat down on the bed next to him.

“Are you – do you need me to help take care of it?”

“Yes,” Felix said a bit too quickly and cleared his throat again. “I mean, if – if that’s okay with you then it would definitely be okay with me. I’m in heat you know? It will feel pretty painful soon if I don’t, uh, do something about it.” He chuckled awkwardly and Chan nodded slowly.

“Right. Well, you know you can always rely on me. For anything.” Felix nodded back, holding his eyes. 

“Right,” he agreed. There was a beat and then they both moved in the same time. Felix grabbed onto Chan’s big shoulders the same moment Chan’s hands wrapped around his thighs and brought him closer, essentially in the alpha’s lap. Their lips clashed together, teeth clanking against each other, and Chan’s tongue was in his mouth almost immediately. Felix moaned loudly at that and then whined when Chan broke apart to shush him. The alpha nodded towards the crib and Felix couldn’t believe he had forgotten his baby was in the room. “My own daughter is cockblocking me,” he whispered in complaint and Chan giggled before kissing him again.

Felix tried to keep himself quiet after that, but it was a hard task when he could touch all over the alpha’s muscular body and feel the man’s hands squeeze and prod him back. Chan’s lips went to his neck, to his collarbones, and Felix groaned as the hot mouth sucked into his flesh. He grabbed onto Chan’s hair and pulled, making him moan too. Their hips were rubbing together, Felix’ painfully hard dick humping Chan’s huge length. He could remember vividly how good and full it would make him feel and he wished he could get that again. 

Chan latched onto a nipple and sucked and Felix gasped, eyes falling open at the sensation. He hadn’t even noticed he’d lost the shirt. Between the man licking and sucking at his tits and his warm hands mapping out his waist and bringing him closer and their crotches grinding, Felix had had enough. He clenched his teeth to stop himself from yelling and shook in the alpha’s lap, finishing in his pants like a teenager. Fuck, that felt good. His body felt like it was pulsating, waves of pleasure washing over him and making him dizzy. A small smile formed on his lips and he pulled on Chan’s hair to get his mouth back into a kiss.

“That was so pretty, Lixie. You’re so pretty,” Chan panted against him when he pulled away and Felix preened, rubbing their cheeks together.

“More, Channie, please, more.” His dick was slowly starting to get hard again and Chan nodded quickly, flipping them over so Felix’ back was flat on the bed and Chan hovered over him. The alpha took off his own shirt swiftly and bent down to kiss at Felix’ torso. “My God, you’re perfect.” Chan glanced up at him, looking startled, then moved to kiss his lips briefly and continued on peppering more kisses all over Felix’ chest and even lower. 

Felix caught his hair before he moved on to Felix’ belly and pulled him back to his chest. His stomach was still soft and nowhere near the toned abs he’d used to have before the pregnancy; even in the heat daze he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Chan. The alpha thankfully didn’t notice, just latched onto a nipple again, making him gasp. Felix’ underwear was gone quickly after and a warm finger pressed against his hole. Felix’ brain was suddenly on and working overtime. 

“Wait!” he said loudly and grabbed onto the alpha’s biceps. Chan’s hand stilled and he looked up at Felix with confusion and wide eyes. “I, uh, actually maybe we shouldn’t – I – I guess, I don’t yet feel fully ready to, uh, you know –”

“We won’t do anything you don’t want to. We can stop,” Chan promised and moved his hand higher to caress his thigh. Felix bit his lip, looking down at his hard dick standing at attention. He didn’t want to stop.

“I – I want to… I want us to – I just…” Felix just felt self-conscious. He’d given birth to a whole human. Sun-Hi’s gigantic head and shoulders had passed through his channel just a few months previously. He was probably loose now, and it was going to hurt a lot more than he cared to admit if he no longer felt good for Chan. If the alpha decided to never fuck him again because of it; Felix himself had never had the desire to be the one doing the fucking, but he’d heard and seen enough from porn and the internet – and even what Doek-su and Chan both had said during their couplings – to know that an omega should be tight, it was one of their selling features.

“Is it penetrative sex you’re not comfortable with?” Chan asked, looking at him softly and kindly, hand still rubbing calming circles into Felix’ inner thigh. Felix gulped and nodded. Chan nodded back and a small smirk appeared on his face. “Okay, that’s okay, love. We can do other things. Stop me if I do something you don’t want or like but right now I’d really like to eat you out.” Felix’ brain barely caught up with what the alpha had said before he was leaning down and his tongue lapped at Felix’ slicked up hole. Felix’s eyes widened and he bit into his fist to keep from moaning too loud. He was slicking up even more, immediately. God, Chan’s mouth was perfect.

They had sex a few more times, ending the day with Chan’s cock down Felix’ throat. He couldn’t fit the whole thing but the alpha assured him that was okay, and the way he squeaked that out while gripping the sheets with both hands to the point of tear was more reassuring than his words. Felix looked up at him under his lashes and added a hand to the length, to cover the part his mouth didn’t, and squeezed – and then Chan was done. 

The next day Felix didn’t feel horny at all, just feverish and out of it. Chan got him to take a bath which he fought at first but ended up feeling great about once he was in the water. Chan also no longer smelled of sex, and Felix guessed he’d showered at some point while Felix and Sun-Hi were both sleeping. The alpha barely ever slept, he remembered. 

Felix watched through half-lidded eyes as Chan walked around the room, gently rocking Sun-Hi, putting her to sleep. When she was out, Chan joined him in bed, spooning him from the back and petting his hair. Felix sighed, relaxed. He really couldn’t be more grateful. 

His brain was very much fuzzy, however, and that was definitely the reason behind his lowered brain to mouth filter. “Do you think it will ever feel good to fuck me again?” Chan’s hand froze on his head and Felix bit his lip. He shouldn’t have put the man under the spotlight like that, he was probably going to lie now.

“Uh, I’m sorry, what?”

“You know what, hyung. I pushed out a whole ass baby from there. It’s all loose and disgusting. Would you – if it were up to you, would you ever want to fuck me again? And feel good?” It was so embarrassing to have to ask this, but Felix needed to know. He didn’t care about what Doek-su thought, in fact if the man was deterred from sleeping with him, Felix was going to be happy. But Chan – Chan was a different story.

“Felix, what are you talking about? Hey, look at me.” Chan tried to turn him around but Felix whined and fought against it. The alpha didn’t force it and sighed, pressing closer. “Felix, sweetheart, I’d never think you’re disgusting. I – Of course, I’d want to do it again. And I know it will feel really good.”

“But you’d think I’m loose?” Felix whispered and Chan shook his head against him.

“No. Giving birth is part of life, if people got all loose and ugly down there after one kid, then nature really would’ve fucked up. There will be no couples with more than one kid,” Chan said with a huff, almost as if making a joke, but Felix whined louder, curling up upon himself.

“So after the next baby, you’d think it’s loose and ugly?” he asked, distressed. 

“No – no, no! That’s not what I meant, love, sorry it’s not the time for jokes. I think you’re perfect and nothing can change that.” Chan pressed a kiss to his shoulder and nosed at his throat. “You feel good and you will always feel good. Besides, come on, alphas are stupid. You being pregnant and then giving birth to a little human is so much more impressive and hotter than any possible downside of you maybe becoming a little looser.”

“You think I’m hot because I have a baby?” Felix almost smiled.

“I, well, I mean. I’m a stupid alpha, too, you know.” Felix did smile then and pushed his back against Chan’s chest fully. The alpha squeezed his waist and placed another kiss on his shoulder. “You’re perfect, Lix. No part of you can ever disappoint me or be disgusting and ugly to me. Please don’t worry over that when there’s no reason to.” Felix hummed and nuzzled his face against Chan’s cheek, satisfied.

—

Going back into the rhythm of consistently visiting the studio was doing wonders for Felix’ mental state. He had always loved dancing and he couldn’t imagine a life without it. It felt like going back to his roots and himself and he couldn’t be happier that he could do it once again. Hanging out with his friends afterwards was another thing that contributed to his mental health.

“I mean… I wouldn’t be opposed to joining some time,” Jisung was saying nonchalantly.

“We can organise a private lesson,” Minho said, and while the phrase was flirty, only Minho could manage to deliver it in a way that sounded almost like a threat. Felix held in a laugh at the way Jisung’s eyes widened and his cheeks darkened; and only Jisung could take it as a great compliment.

“They’re so obvious,” Hyunjin said and Felix turned to see him roll his eyes. “It’s not even entertaining anymore. Look, this is more urgent. I need help answering again.” Hyunjin thrust his phone up in Felix’ face. Ah. One of his gazillion suitors, as usual. Hyunjin was hot and popular – they all knew it, and most importantly he knew it – so he attracted attention from all over. He was also bad at saying no, which is where Felix came in.

“Is it the skiing one or the movie star one?” Hyunjin snickered.

“He wishes he was a movie star. Two watch ads! That’s all!” Felix laughed and Hyunjin shook his head. “No, it’s a new one. A neighbor that just moved in.” He sighed and Felix sighed as well. He was constantly getting spammed too, by people from all over for all kinds of things, some of them on the same topic of shooting their shot. Felix had a PR person and a couple of assistants that managed all of the incoming traffic, so he was kept blissfully unaware of most of it. Hyunjin got all the raw stories though and it was getting exhausting.

“What does he want?”

They laughed at the cringy text message and devised a reply. While Hyunjin was typing it up, a notification popped up. Oh my beautiful prince, if only you could gaze upon me… Felix snorted and looked over at Changbin, who was sitting with his phone out next to Chan and Sun-Hi. 

“You want me to help with that one, too?” Felix asked jokingly and Hyunjin shook his head.

“Nah, all good,” the alpha said. He was biting his lip. Felix grinned.

Besides dancing, Felix frequently hit the gym – and dragged Chan along. He couldn’t deny the selfish reasons for that. If Chan did his workout during the day, he had the night free for actual sleep and helping out with Sun-Hi. Also, Chan in workout clothes was something that Felix could stare at for days. Changbin frequently joined too, the gym addict that he was, and Jeongin was never far behind. So exercising turned into a social activity too, and Felix loved it. 

“Wait are you stronger than me?” Jeongin asked, shocked, and Felix giggled as Changbin flexed his muscles.

“Damn right I am! What do you think I’ve been doing all this time in the gym!?” Chan laughed and poked his pec hard, making Changbin yelp and hold his chest.

“Honestly, I’ve never seen an omega bigger than you,” Felix commented. He was cooling off on the treadmill, one eye always on the baby monitor. Sun-Hi was asleep in their room with Jisung doing school work right by her side, but Felix still got anxious over being away from his baby.

“Yeah, well, I’m scared of so many things – gotta keep myself safe somehow!” Changbin laughed as if it was a joke, but Felix felt like it wasn’t. 

To mark the end of his journey towards restoring his previous active way of life, Chan also took him back to the dojo. “Oh, wow, that was a beautiful high kick! You know what, I think dancing is really helping you out here! You’re crushing it, Lix.” Felix blushed, feeling happy at the praise and recognition.

“You really are doing very well. Especially for someone that’s only visited a handful of times,” a new voice cut in in Korean and Felix jumped, spinning around to face an older man. He was leaning against the ropes surrounding the ring, grinning up at them as if they were old friends. Felix blinked and looked up at Chan to gauge his reaction. How did the man know that? Felix vaguely recalled seeing his face around before, but knew for a fact they hadn't even been introduced to each other. “I just own the place, so I see what goes on around,” the man waved off. Chan was just smiling at the newcomer, not at all on edge. The man didn’t brag or sound cocky the way Doek-su would have with such statement. He seemed kind. Felix smiled at him.

“Thank you,” Felix said politely and bowed his head. When he looked back at the man he found him grinning wider and staring at Chan with an approving look. Felix glanced back at his bodyguard who bowed a little too, a small smile on his face. 

“I’ll leave you two to it. Good luck!”

“What was that? Who is that?” Felix whispered as soon as the older man was out of hearing rage. Chan smiled.

“A friend, a good friend. Okay, let’s try again – I attack this time!”

—

Felix was turning twenty-four, and starting work on the last part of his master degree – the thesis – but that was a less exciting milestone. For his birthday, Felix managed to obtain a rare win over his husband, and get to choose their destination for celebration. Naturally, that was Sydney and his parents’ place. Doek-su could roll his eyes all he wanted, but Felix saw them only a couple of times a year and he missed them. In the end, Doek-su decided to only fly in for the birth day itself, which meant Felix and Sun-Hi could enjoy the Australian air freely for the rest of the week.

“Don’t you want to put some on?” Olivia asked as she paused in front of the mirror, holding an eye shadow palette and a small brush. Felix glanced at the bright colors and bit his lip before shaking his head. “What? You used to love these colors, c’mon!”

Maybe he was easily persuaded, or maybe he’d just missed having colors on his face, but he caved in quickly. Felix put on a rather elaborate hot-pink and green makeup, complete with symmetrical black eyeliner and some sparkles, and he felt fully like himself for the first time in a long while. “Now, who’s this bright forest fairy?” his mom asked as she stepped into the room, Sun-Hi in her arms. “Look, your mama is so beautiful. Isn’t he?” Sun-Hi smiled and flapped her hands and Felix grinned, coming closer for kisses.

“Oh, you’re sparkly, sir,” Chan said when Felix entered the living room, the baby in his arms. He had a knowing grin on and Felix remembered the alpha had reacted similarly the first time he’d seen him with glitter on all that long time ago. He smiled shyly. “You look beautiful,” he added quietly and Felix looked away, hoping the redness on his face wasn’t too visible. 

A throat cleared behind him and Felix moved away, looking back to see Rachel enter the room. She was very obviously pretending she hadn’t seen or heard anything and Felix was thankful for it. “Doek-su’s arrived. We’re ready to go to the restaurant!”

“I’m coming, let me just grab her diaper bag.”

Felix passed by another mirror again on his way downstairs and realised the colorful makeup, the one that his husband had strictly forbidden him from wearing outside lest he tarnished the company’s image, was going to lead to an argument. He stopped in the middle of the stairs, hesitating. “Felix?” his bodyguard prompted and Felix looked up at the alpha. Chan liked the makeup, his mom liked the makeup, Olivia liked it too. And what was Doek-su going to do about it, anyway? His whole family was there and they were leaving within minutes; this wasn’t the mansion where he could throw his fits freely. Felix bit his lip.

“All good,” he said and continued walking. 

“Felix, beautiful, a word please?” Doek-su pulled him to the side by the arm the moment they walked out of the house, on the veranda. Felix gripped Sun-Hi tighter and eyed the height of the platform, pushing closer to the house. Chan stepped up, positioning himself between Felix and the railing, a glare set on Doek-su. The taller alpha gave him a look, but Chan remained in place. Doek-su rolled his eyes and turned back to the omega. “What have I told you about the clown getup?” the alpha hissed quietly in Felix’ face. Sun-Hi made an unhappy noise.

“It’s my birthday, and we’re going down the street to a small restaurant,” Felix started, equally quiet, but his husband interrupted.

“That’s not what I asked about.”

“My sister did this makeup for me, as a birthday surprise,” Felix lied desperately. “I’d rather keep her present and go to the restaurant and have fun already. Can we not disturb the peace right now, Doek-su?”

Doek-su pursed his lips and then shook his head. “There better not be any photos of this event making it online. And I don’t want you looking like this back in Korea, you understand me?” Felix grit his teeth and started rocking Sun-Hi up and down. He nodded and watched his husband move away. Chan was glaring daggers at the man, fists clenched, looking like he was one step away from bouncing.

Felix pressed close, taking advantage of Doek-su’s turned back. “It’s okay, hyung,” he whispered and met the bodyguard’s eyes briefly before starting to make his journey down to join the rest of the family.

“Your loyal dog can stay back. I’ve got enough bodyguards tagging along,” Doek-su said from the front and Felix froze. 

“Wh–”

“You heard me, Felix.” There was a dangerous glint in his husband’s eyes when he turned around to spare the omega a glance, and Felix grit his teeth nodding back towards the house. Chan’s mouth opened but Felix hurried to speak over him, sending him a warning look.

“You can stay back, Chan. You know where everything is, should you need –”

“He can stay at the hotel rooms booked for the staff,” Doek-su cut in and pulled on Felix’ arm. “Let us not keep your family waiting, beautiful.” Felix watched Chan’s form become smaller as they moved away and fought back a whimper. He’d already pushed a lot that evening with the make-up, he couldn’t afford to push further and risk it all. “You had the runt stay at the house?” Doek-su hissed in his ear a minute later. “I don’t appreciate how comfortable you are with the personnel, Felix.”

“Doek-su, you hired him to protect me 24/7.”

“The 24/7 is metaphorical, not literal.”

“Look, he’s handy to have around,” Felix started, trying to pretend he wasn’t sweating bullets. “He can carry around bags and do house repairs that my parents can’t.” That was downplaying it by a lot, but Felix tried to sound convincing. Tried to keep the nervousness off his scent. 

“Yeah. That’s all dogs like him are useful for, you better remember that.” Doek-su sounded pleased by whatever he thought was going on and Felix held in a sigh of relief.

Chapter Text

Chan’s birthday was right around the corner after Felix and Jisung’s and for the first time since he knew the alpha, Felix wanted to do something with him on his special day. The previous year he’d found out too late about his bodyguard’s birthday when the man had already requested a day off to be with his family, and then with the pregnancy and work and… his kidnapping, life had been too much of a mess to plan anything.

This time, however, Felix was ready on time. The moment Chan arrived to collect them in the late afternoon – believing Felix had appointments to go to – Felix flung the door open and pulled the alpha into his room. Chan blinked as Felix threw his arms around his neck. “Happy birthday, hyung!” He could hear the man chuckle against his ear and then there were arms enveloping him back.

“Thank you, Lixie.”

“Sun-Hi and I have a small gift for you,” Felix announced as he pulled back a little and met Chan’s eyes. The man was looking at him openly, eyes bright and sparkling. His lips were pulled into a carefree smile, showing off the dimples Felix adored. He had to clear his throat and take a step back before he did something foolish like lean in. 

“You didn’t have to, Lix…”

“I know. But I want to.” He bit his lip and took out the piece of paper from his back pocket. Chan took it carefully, eyes furrowing and head tilting sideways in confusion. Felix cleared his throat, his heart hammering in his chest. “They’ll give you all relevant books you need to study for the high school leaving exams.” The alpha blinked and his grip on the paper tightened, as did his jaw. Felix hurried to continue, “I’m not saying you’re stupid, Channie-hyung! Or what you have to do this! The opposite – you can decide if it’s something you want to pursue, but I want you to at least have the option. You’re so smart already, hyung. You’ll probably just have to brush up some random biology facts or whatever, and I’ve arranged that you can take the exam at any time.” Chan opened his mouth but Felix continued speaking over him. “I’m pretty sure you’d be able to do it early next year already! If you want. There’s no school to attend or anything like that, you can just study at your own pace, in your own time. And also – there’s so many times where you just sit around and do nothing while I’m studying but now we can study together! So it won’t take away from your duties either. I just – I want you to have the option.”

Felix took in a deep breath and realised he’d been struggling for oxygen for a while. Chan put the telephone number on the nearby table and placed his hands on Felix’ shoulders. “Breathe, love.” Felix took in a deep breath as if on command and nodded, still feeling nervous about Chan’s upcoming reaction. The alpha’s scent was very present but Felix couldn’t read it, too scared the gift was going to be perceived as offensive rather than – “Thank you.” Chan was hugging Felix then and Felix pressed himself as close as possible, rubbing his cheek against the man’s pecs. Chan let out a shaky breath. “Felix, I haven’t been to high school in – God, in a long time. I’m not as smart as you think I am. I never even really went to high school in Korea – I can barely write proper Hangul.”

Pulling away, Felix cupped the alpha’s cheeks and released some soothing pheromones, leaning closer until their noses brushed. Chan’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment and Felix half smiled. “You are smart, Chan-hyung. I know that you are. And I know that you can do this. You’re great, Chan, and you deserve to feel that way. Deserve to feel smart.” He leaned back and grinned cheekily. “I can help, if you want. Pay you back for all the Korean lessons, you know? I was really good at Geography and Chemistry back in the day.” Chan shook his head, looking torn, and Felix let go of him, feeling like he had overstepped. He cleared his throat. “It’s up to you of course, but I think it will be good for you.” 

The alpha was quiet, looking down at his clenched fists, and barely emoting. Felix bit his lip, unsure about the situation. The one thing he was sure of was that he had to stop pushing; Chan was very private on certain topics and very obviously took his lack of school diploma hard, so continuing the conversation wasn’t going to do any good.

“In any case, I hope you don’t have any plans for the evening,” Felix said suddenly and continued rambling, “Well, you were supposed to be working, so I think you don’t but – well, maybe you were coming now to tell me that you do have plans and need to leave. That would be fine, of course, it is your birthday after all and –”

“Felix, Lix, hey, breathe,” Chan said for the second time now and chuckled a little. He grabbed Felix’ hand and squeezed it, looking back to himself. “I’m escorting you to the office, no?”

“Well, actually, that was just something I put in there to block your evening,” Felix admitted, his cheeks turning red. Chan’s eyebrows rose and Felix squeezed his hand this time – the hand he was still holding, they were still just standing there with intertwined fingers; what was Felix supposed to make out of that!? – but looked away. “I did prepare some dinner, uh, if you’d like to eat with us.”

Felix inclined his head towards the coffee table by the couches and Chan’s eyes widened as he took in the dishes laid out there. “You prepared it?” Felix bit his lip and shrugged.

“Jisung-hyung helped.” The alpha’s eyes widened comically in horror and Felix rolled his own. “Oh, come on, hyung. He’s been getting better! We also made chocolate-coffee cake but it’s in the fridge. We, uh, we can get it a bit later.” Felix fidgeted in place under the weight of the alpha’s beautiful eyes and then Chan was stepping even closer, pulling him in by the hand for another hug. Felix closed his eyes and melted against the alpha, feeling a purr build up at that. The bodyguard kissed his forehead and Felix couldn’t contain the sound that emanated from his throat at that. He could feel Chan’s smile against his cheek and he grinned stupidly too, burying his face in the man’s neck.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’d love to eat with you.” Felix’ heart felt ready to explode. 

There was a baby gurgle in the background suddenly and then both turned to look at Sun-Hi making noises on the couch where she was playing with her music making toys. She seemed to realise she had an audience – or perhaps catching their attention had been her goal all along – because she grinned when she noticed them looking at her. A cute dimple appeared on her chubby cheek and Felix grinned, his heart filling up with love. 

“She’s telling you happy birthday,” he said and moved away to pick her up. Chan moved closer meanwhile and came to stand by him, one hand reaching out to comb back Sun-Hi’s unruly hair. 

“Oh, thank you, little lady! I’m glad you remember it’s today!” Felix laughed and handed Chan the baby. 

“Wait, I forgot to grab cutlery! I’ll be right back!”

It was only a week later that Chan turned up at one of the designated study sessions. Jisung had canceled last minute, claiming urgent business, so it was only Felix working on his thesis and Jeongin reading a comic while lounging on the couch in the entertainment room, when the bodyguard walked in with a couple of books under his arm, looking nervous and out of place. Felix smiled at him and moved to free up some space on the couch by his side, and Jeongin only briefly greeted the man before laser-focusing on the superheroes again.

Chan’s shoulders gradually relaxed as time passed and he seemed more and more engrossed in his physics textbook. Felix glanced at him periodically, finding it hard to concentrate when the beautiful alpha with his pouty large lips and strong shoulders exposed by the tank top were just – right there. He was beautiful, but he was also smart and strong and brave. Felix was so proud of him.

Impulsively, Felix leaned closer and pressed a peck against the alpha’s bare shoulder. Chan startled and turned to him but Felix’ brain finally processed what he’d done and he turned away, flushing deep red. The man tried to catch his eye, but Felix stubbornly pretended he didn’t see that. God, that had been embarrassing! Felix was embarrassing! He couldn’t just –

There was a kiss on his shoulder and Felix turned, eyes wide, to look at Chan’s innocent face. His lips were still attached to Felix’ hoodie – one of Chan’s own, Felix realised suddenly, one he had requested and never returned – and his eyes twinkled as he looked up at Felix. He pulled away and smiled sweetly before going back to his book. A grin spread on Felix’ face too and he bit his lip to contain it.

“I’m here to save you all from your boredom! I bring snacks and games! Innie, I’ve got hotteok!” Seungmin announced at a loud volume as he entered the room and Felix crossed his fingers mentally that he – Sun-Hi let out a wail and Felix groaned. She’d been sleeping so nicely until now. He turned to gently shake her mobile bed and shush her back to sleep.

“Noo! Look what you’ve done!” Jeongin complained in a whisper-yell and Seungmin threw his hands in the air.

“How could I have know she’s here and sleeping?” Felix shook his head.

“Felix is here, so of course she’s also here!” 

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not an expert on babies!”

“It’s good you won’t have any.” Felix exchanged a look with Chan who rolled his eyes. At least they were trying to keep their antics as quiet as possible.

“Who said that? Changbin and I’ve been talking actually,” Seungmin said smugly and Felix narrowed his eyes. Jeongin gasped.

“What?!” he yelled and Felix gave him a look while shushing even louder. Seungmin was grinning like the cat that got the cream, and the younger alpha gasped again. “Wait, really? When? And you didn’t tell me? You didn’t talk to me?! What the fuck, hyung?!”

“Okay, children! Take your lover spat somewhere else, yeah?” Chan said before Seungmin could answer as Sun-Hi’s cries intensified. Felix took her into his arms and started bouncing her. Jeongin sent Chan a betrayed look and opened his mouth but the man spoke over him. “Somewhere else. And don’t swear in front of Sun-Hi.” Jeongin inclined his head and left quickly, Seungmin following behind with his snacks and games. Their argument picked up in the hallway immediately and Felix turned to Chan with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t even ask,” the alpha said with a head shake.

—

The older Sun-Hi got, the more work he was handed. In times like these, Felix was glad that Park, the previous fundraiser director, was still around to help make decisions, attend meetings and pick up tasks. The older man couldn’t attend all meetings for him, however, not when Doek-su insisted on Felix having a bigger role in the board of directors within Choi Inc. itself. His husband was slowly trying to initiate him into the board, to free up a seat for him, Felix knew, and wondered if that really came from a good place. 

In any case, Felix was forced to attend a board meeting and so he did. 

“Does the child have to be here?” one of the suits in the room asked in Korean the moment Felix stepped in and he blinked, taken aback. The question was obviously directed at Doek-su who just shook his head as he took a seat. Felix frowned. If his husband wasn’t going to say something, he was.

“The child has a child himself. I count myself as an adult and will appreciate it if you do, too,” he replied back in Korean, holding the old man’s gaze. He seemed surprised, his eyebrows up in his receding hairline, and had nothing to say as Felix approached the table and took a seat. He turned to Doek-su who seemed just as taken-aback but then cleared his throat.

“Perfect, we can conduct this meeting in Korean as usual.”

Felix was too proud, especially after just having established his authority, to admit that he got lost in the discussion. He was quite good at Korean nowadays and there was rarely a conversation in which words had to be explained or translated to him, but at the same time the topics raised with his friends never included the terminology one could expect at a board meeting. He sipped from his glass of water and spoke up only rarely, wherever he did get the full context. He was just going to look at the minutes later and translate them where needed. They, the vultures, didn’t have to know that.

“I’m not sure bringing foreigners into the board will be seen as a good idea by our investors,” man in suit number one said in a subtopic that Felix managed to fully follow.

“Half of our investors are foreign,” suit number three spoke up and Doek-su nodded.

“Also, we’ve been working with the Japanese for so long – he’s hardly a foreigner anymore,” he added and Felix disagreed. The rich layers of Korea seemed very stuck on nationalism, from what he’d seen. 

“Good luck telling Prime Minister Sang-mok that,” suit number one said with a mocking grin, and suit number four scoffed.

“I do have a dinner planned with him next week, thank you for the good wishes,” Doek-su drawled and cleared his throat. “Oh, on that topic, Jimin. I heard your wife needs urgent surgery. Please send her my regards. In fact, I’ll make sure to send them myself with a small visit.”

“That – that’s not necessary, Mr. Choi,” suit number one said, straightening up and ironing out his tie. “Thank you for the kindness, but I think she’d prefer to keep her visitor list to only family.”

“Ah, but we’ve been working together for so long already! We’re practically family.”

“Mr. Choi –”

“Seoul General, right? Next Monday.” The other man opened his mouth – obviously in protest – then closed it. Swallowed and nodded meekly. “Perfect. We want to show family, by blood and not, that they’re welcome, no?”

“Of course, Mr. Choi.”

“Right. Anyway, on Akaji joining us…”

Felix watched the two alphas back and forth as though a tennis match, and furrowed his eyes in confusion. He wasn’t sure exactly what that was all about, but he had a feeling that suit number one was currently occupying the seat that Doek-su wanted Felix to take in the near future. The threatening tone of his husband reminded him of that one overheard call from the late stages of his pregnancy, and had shivers run down his spine. Not for the first time, Felix wondered if there was something dark within Doek-su that he had to steer clear of.

After the meeting, Felix was summoned to his husband’s office and he entered with a sigh. It had been a long day already, he just wished to go back to Sun-Hi. “Korean?” Felix blinked. What was that question supposed to inquire after? Doek-su got up from his desk and rounded it, coming to stand right in front of Felix. “You’ve learned Korean?” 

“Yes. I’ve been working on it for over a year,” Felix said and raised his chin proudly. Doek-su grinned.

“You’re hot like that, baby.” Before Felix could realise what was going on, his husband grabbed him around the waist and lifted him to sit on the desk, sealing their lips together. Felix returned the kiss unenthusiastically and tried to push against Doek-su’s chest. Doek-su did pull away but only to grin against his mouth and start unbuttoning Felix’ pants. “I want to fuck you so bad.”

Felix blinked and moved to the side, slipping off the desk and putting as much space between them as he could. “No, no, please – I have a meeting to go to in fifteen.”

“I’m the boss, I can cancel it,” his husband said with a wave of his hand and reached out to pull Felix close again. Felix pushed at his chest and shook his head furiously.

“No! It’s an important one that can’t be postponed! And I’m not going to sit in a meeting with cum leaking out of my ass,” he snapped and, upon noticing the darkening eyes of Doek-su, continued meekly, “Please – think of the image of the company. I represent it and you.” The alpha rolled his eyes and pushed him roughly to his knees.

“You can still suck me off,” he said with a sleazy grin and started unbuttoning his suit pants. 

Felix ran to the toilets afterwards, to wash his mouth and face and put on a scent blocker. Chan trailed after him a meter away and Felix was painfully aware that his sharp alpha nose could pick up on what had happened in the office. He avoided the bodyguard’s eyes and pretended it hadn’t. 

School work was also seemingly becoming more and more, to the point of him considering dropping out. He already had a Master’s degree! Did he really need another one? He spent hours rambling at Sun-Hi about his thesis as she blabbered gibberish back. Felix wasn’t going to drop the degree, however. The last thing he needed was another reason to give Doek-su to call him a disappointment. 

There were of course small breaks and happy moments during work and studying, here and there, and those kept him going. Like when he was reviewing related work on the couch with Chan sitting on the floor, leaned against his leg, deep into his own textbook, and Sun-Hi laying on a blanket on the floor with a few toys. Felix noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and glanced for a second – and then had to do a double take. Sun-Hi was crawling!

“Oh my God!” He gasped and patted Chan’s shoulder, pointing at his daughter. Chan made a surprised noise and got up, approaching with Felix. She grabbed the toy that had been her target and looked up at them with her big beautiful eyes. Felix squealed and picked her up into his lap on the ground, hugging her close. “Good job, baby! You’re so smart!”

“Wow, little lady! What was that?! Since when can you crawl? I don’t see you for five minutes and you’ve already grown so much. What’s next? Flying?!” Felix laughed with an eye roll at Chan’s serious tone and Sun-Hi giggled too, a toothless dimpled grin that filled Felix’ heart with love. Chan leaned in to kiss her cheeks and Sun-Hi clapped her hands together, bouncing in his lap excitedly.

—

The moment Felix realised he was in heat – a proper heat this time – his first reaction was panic. Sun-Hi was almost nine months old, so he couldn’t really claim she had a big need for him and hole himself up in his room, avoiding his husband. They had to spend it together. It had been so long since he last had penetrative sex with Doek-su, perhaps a year? And even longer since their last shared heat, a year and a half. At this point, Felix had completely forgotten Doek-su was also entitled to fucking him besides controlling his life from the shadows.

Felix felt nervous, felt scared, as if it was his first time all over again. He had vivid memories of his husband in bed, and he wished so hard they were kept to just that – memories. But he wasn’t so lucky.

Doek-su noticed he was in heat quickly, more quickly than when they’d been trying to conceive previously, probably because Felix spent the majority of his days spreading his pheromones all around the house and fussing over Sun-Hi. This time it didn’t all start with him being annoyed over Chan’s scent clinging to Felix’ body, and Felix hoped that maybe, just maybe, that meant it would go differently during the next few days too. 

It didn’t. His husband fucked him, got him through his heat, but by the end of it, Felix felt hungry, unhappy, empty and dirty. Just like all the times before. Chan arrived the moment Doek-su was out of the door with snacks and a pill, taking a seat beside Felix and drawing him close to his chest. His presence, his scent and his arms made breathing easier and Felix curled up against him, staring into the distance.

“I don’t really understand why I’m like this,” Felix whisper-yelled, mindful of his daughter napping close by. Mindful also of anyone that could possibly pass by the movie theater and overhear. Jisung met his eyes with a sympathetic look. “Heats make you want to fuck. He fucks me, he knots me. He makes the fever and the pain go down. And yet the whole time I just hate it! I’m this close to crying,” he admitted putting his fingers together. He was also on the verge of tears currently. Changbin rubbed his back up and down and Felix was glad for their comfort. “And then I do spend the next day crying. Unless Channie-hyung is there – he’s great at taking my mind off it, I guess.” 

“Well, I mean, heats are not the same between omegas. Even if we all just feel like getting fucked, we like getting fucked in different ways you know? Different blokes, different strokes, if you get me,” Changbin said smartly and Felix snorted at the end. “Maybe he’s not doing it the way you like it.”

“I – I guess? He’s just so… There’s no affection? I can tell he’s there to just get himself off and knot an omega.” And to secure an heir – but he didn’t want to go there in front of them. “It’s never about me! Not that sex should always be about me, don’t get me wrong –” 

“We all want to feel loved and cherished, Felix-ah, I get it,” Jisung said with a small smile and patted his hand. “Especially when in heat. I literally feel like I’m being burned alive! If it’s not about me getting relief from that, then who should it be about?!” Felix sighed and nodded. “So… Does Chan-hyung give you what you need?” Felix choked on nothing and looked between Jisung and Changbin. Both were looking at him with a lifted eyebrow. 

“What are you –” 

“Don’t even try to pretend,” Jisung cut off.

“We know you two spent your pseudo heats together,” Changbin added with a glint in his eyes and a side smirk. Felix felt cold sweat run down his back. How could they know? The only two people that knew were Felix and Chan. If more of the staff had found out, then that spelled trouble for Felix. But maybe they were told…

“Did Chan tell –” 

“He didn’t say something intentionally. He has to pass by our room to get to the showers. He reeked of you more than usual around your pseudoheats. And he did disappear from the house for like a few days,” Changbin explained and Jisung nodded enthusiastically. 

“Your baby also smells so much like him.” Did she? Felix looked at Sun-Hi calmly sleeping on her back on the couch next to them. He had never noticed. But at the same time he, and by extension Sun-Hi, barely ever left Chan’s side so it made sense. “Like, sometimes I take one whiff of her and hope you’re not gonna run into Choi that day.” Felix blinked. He hadn’t even considered that. Fuck. Felix rubbed his forehead and stayed silent. He had to stock up on scent blockers, put them in strategic locations around the house. And the office.

“Felix… Is there something going on between you and Chan-hyung?” Changbin asked tactfully and Felix was shaking his head before the question was out. 

“No!” he denied immediately and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m married,” he reminded them quietly. 

“Oh, Lixie… How long have you had feelings?” Jisung asked then, looking at him with a pout. Felix shook his head again. 

“I don’t have feelings.” Felix took a deep breath and decided to wrap up this topic. “I just have a great friend and I can recognise that he would be the perfect alpha and partner and dad with some omega someday. Okay, yes, he’s helped me with a few heats and some other problems, but that’s because we’re just really close and I care about him a lot and he cares about me too.” Jisung gave him a pitying look and opened his mouth but Changbin spoke first. 

“Alright, Lix-ah.” There was silence for a little while and Felix desperately grasped at subjects to bring up.

“So, do you guys use suppressants or…?” he asked suddenly, realising that he’d known the omegas for close to three years and he’d never seen them missing from the action. Well, Felix didn’t spend every day with Jisung but Changbin drove him places almost on a daily basis and he hadn’t been off work even once.

“Yeah, of course!” Jisung said, a tad too loud, and Felix sent Sun-Hi a look before nodding in her direction. Jisung’s eyes widened and he placed a hand over his mouth. “Sorry! Yes, I take them. One heat per year only.” Felix felt like a bad friend to have not noticed Jisung’s absence from the manor for a few days a year, but Jisung didn’t look offended.

“You should tell him who you spent your last heat with,” Changbin teased and Jisung was suddenly red, gaping at Changbin.

“Hyung! I didn’t tell you so that you tell everyone in Seoul! You already told Chan-hyung despite me asking you not to –”

“As if Chan-hyung would have allowed you to go missing for five days without him knowing where you are. During your heat, not to mention,” Changbin said back and Jisung groaned. Felix blinked, eyes going between the two.

“Well, okay, fair, but – I told you in confidence!”

“When Chan-hyung asks something, you answer, Sungie. You know how it is,” Changbin said with a shake of his head and Jisung shrugged, nodding. 

“Still. Why bring it up now then!?” 

“It’s Lixie, come on, man.” They both looked at him and Felix turned to Jisung, feeling uncomfortable. 

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay,” he said with a small smile. It did sting a little. That he’d just opened up to them about a problem that he thought is quite big and personal, and Jisung didn’t feel him close enough to share about his heat partners. But Felix was aware Changbin and Jisung had known each other for much longer, so it made sense that they spoke about everything.

“No, it’s not like that, Lix! I just – ahh.” Jisung groaned and then put his face in his hands. “You tell him,” he mumbled and Changbin bounced in his seat, looking ecstatic.

“Sungie here spent his heat last month with Minho-hyung.” Felix’ mouth fell open as he looked at Jisung. 

“Wait what? For real? Minho, like dancer Minho?” Jisung made a wounded noise while Changbin nodded with a grin.

“That’s the one.” Felix had seen the two dance around each other, and Minho had been more than obvious with how his eyes followed the omega every time he visited the studio, and the way he’d make sure he was always the one closest, always the one touching him and no one else. Jisung had been flirty, too, but never mentioned anything, so Felix didn’t know they were that serious for each other.

“Oh, that’s so sweet! I really didn’t know you guys were like that!” he exclaimed, feeling happy for his friends. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I’m only coming to your dance practice or hanging out with you because of your hot friend, okay!” Felix chuckled and pointed at Changbin.

“Bin-hyung’s made it very clear he only comes to the studio to gawk at Hyunjin, and I still hang out with him, hyung.” Changbin just shrugged and Felix laughed harder. Jisung finally moved his hands away from his eyes.

“Look, I just… I mean, I don’t even know if we’re, you know, like this or just… I mean, helping out during a heat doesn’t mean –”

“They’re going on a date next Friday,” Changbin interjected and Felix gasped, looking at Jisung with excitement. He was beyond happy about his friends.

“Oh that’s great! We should pick out your clothes! You can borrow something from me, if you want to be extra fancy. Ohh, I can do your makeup! Where are you going?”

“I don’t know yet, it’s a surprise,” Jisung mumbled and then grabbed Changbin’s shoulder before Felix could say anything else. “Why don’t we switch to Changbin here? Don’t think I didn’t notice what you did! You threw me under the bus to distract us from your unhealthy ass!” 

“I’d never do that, Sungie. But wait, Lixie, how long have you known Minho likes Jisung?”

“Well, he hasn’t said anything himself, but –”

“Oh, no, no, no! You’re not doing this again,” Jisung interrupted and turned to Felix. “Changbin hasn’t had a heat in like, ten years!” Felix blinked, mouth gaping one more time that day. Changbin looked like he was a second away from tearing Jisung’s head clean off his shoulders.

“Did you have to? Really?”

“You like Felix, maybe he can finally talk some sense into you,” Jisung informed him and faced Felix again. “This idiot has been on suppressants essentially for as long as I’ve known him. He’s stupid as all fuck! Can you please tell him how unhealthy that is?! You’re a mom, maybe he’ll listen to you!”

“Uh, Bin…” Changbin lifted a hand in the air.

“Don’t, just don’t. I think I should get back to work. Sorry, but I gotta go.” He was out of the room faster than Felix could comprehend and Jisung sighed. Felix looked at Sun-Hi who was starting to squirm and debated following. Instead he took out his phone to shoot Chan a quick message.

“I’m sorry for pushing,” Jisung said once Felix put his phone back into his pocket. “I just… I worry. At this rate, he’ll probably not be able to have kids whenever he does want to, and he’ll most likely get himself sick or fucking dead before he’s hit thirty!” Felix could understand the worry. He was going to worry too from now on, now that he knew that. He leaned closer to bump their shoulders together and wondered when would be a good time to try talking to the other omega.

—

That year Christmas was going to be a somber event, Felix thought as he waved Doek-su goodbye on Christmas Eve. Well, perhaps spending the holiday without his husband was not necessarily a bad thing, but the fact that Doek-su had to go on a last-minute work trip did mean that Felix was left behind in Seoul with only Sun-Hi for company. He entertained the idea of catching a flight to Sydney to visit his family, but decided against it; Sun-Hi was too young to be getting on a plane and frankly, Felix wasn’t ready to explain to his parents that his husband had ditched him because work was more important than family.

The majority of the staff had a few days off, with only a few people staying at the mansion – none of which Felix’ friends, unfortunately. He paced around the room, Sun-Hi slowly dozing off in his arms, and held back tears. Being alone on Christmas wasn’t that big of a deal, he knew. But it didn’t feel right. Before he’d come to Korea, Christmas had always been a special occasion, where the family would be together for two days straight, watching movies, cooking, talking. He missed that. He missed feeling part of a whole, feeling like he belonged. More than that: Sun-Hi was missing out on it too. Her very first Christmas and it was turning out to be pathetic, Felix being her only companion.

Christmas Eve was bleak, but he tried to make the following day nicer. He made himself hot chocolate and an omelet despite the protests of the cook, called his family with video and chatted for a bit, and gave Sun-Hi her gifts: two books, a teething toy and a new onesie. She didn’t appreciate them much, but Felix wasn’t surprised at that. All she understood at her age was food, blabbering and poop. He still wasn’t sure she even realised he was her mother sometimes, although she had recently started saying “ma” and bringing tears to Felix’ eyes. Just after noon, he received a text from Chan and felt himself brighten.

Don’t tell Sun-Hi (it’s a surprise!) but I got her a little something. Merry Christmas Felix :) Felix smiled as he took in the picture of a gift toy. It was obviously some kind of a plushie with irregular shape and Chan had obviously struggled to wrap it up, but Felix’ chest warmed up at the image of the alpha buying something for his daughter and working on paper-wrapping it himself. 

You really didn’t have to, hyung. Thank you. Merry Christmas to you as well! And to your family! Chan had told him that for his three-day Christmas break he would always go back to his mother’s house and spend the holidays with her and his sister – and Berry. Felix hoped they were having a good time. This reminded him to text the rest of his friends too, wish them happy holidays as well.

Oh hey, didn’t expect you to see this so soon! How’s your Christmas going? Is the little lady enjoying her lots of presents? Felix snorted and sighed, leaning his head on his hand as he pondered on what to reply. The plan had been for Doek-su, Felix, Sun-Hi and Doek-su’s mother to spend the two festive days in the old woman’s apartment. With Doek-su gone, it was just implicit that Felix wasn’t welcome into his mother’s place anymore, so if she had prepared a gift for Sun-Hi, it was going to be received at a later date. Felix wasn’t sure if his husband had been thoughtful enough to buy Sun-Hi anything. Nothing of the sorts had been mentioned and Felix had tried to overcompensate by getting her multiple things. He felt sad all of a sudden, once again hit by the realisation of how miserable Sun-Hi’s first Christmas was going.

Perhaps it was this sadness that pushed him into answering honestly. I got her a few gifts but she’s more interested in sleeping . Felix bit his lip and continued typing. Deok-su had to leave urgently, so it’s just us two though.

What? You two can’t spend Christmas alone! You have to come over! I’ll come pick you up, how’s that sound? Felix let out a shaky breath, torn between denying – he hadn’t said this to win Chan’s pity and get them an invitation to someone else’s family time – and pleading to be picked up as soon as possible. Christmas with Chan sounded heavenly.

If you’re sure…

Chan came to the mansion with his mother’s beat-up sedan and picked them up just two hours later. The drive to his mother’s place was spent mostly in silence, at least in terms of speaking; Sun-Hi wailed throughout the ride and Felix spent the whole time trying to get her to quiet down anxiously. If he showed up with a crying baby, he was probably going to get kicked out. Sun-Hi did manage to stop crying a little before they arrived and Felix breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ah, Channie, you’re back! That was a long – oh! Huh?” It was his mother, a petite and excited-looking older woman. An omega with a citrus-y scent. Felix bit his lip, looking at Chan who rubbed the back of his head.

“Uh, yeah, mom, this is Choi Felix. My current charge.” The woman gasped and bowed a little, Felix automatically answering with a bow of his head too. 

“Oh goodness, Felix! We’ve heard so much about you! And this is the little princess, I see? Oh, she’s precious! Even better than the pictures. Hello, Sun-Hi.” The baby was staring up at the woman with curiosity and thankfully not crying again. The woman touched her nose and Sun-Hi scrunched it up. Felix held in a giggle. It gave him immense pleasure to see his daughter receive praise and attention.

“Hello, Mrs. Bang –”

“Oh, please none of that! Just call me Jessica. Ah, come inside, come inside. It’s freezing out there! Wait, let me put the dog in my bedroom, we can’t have her disturbing this beautiful girl!” 

Felix met Hannah after that and found she was actually his age, and also an omega. She was quite outspoken and liked to annoy her big brother, all of their bickering bringing a grin to Felix’ face and an eye roll to Jessica’s. Felix allowed Chan’s mother to hold and marvel at his daughter while Sun-Hi tried to tell her all about her life in gibberish, but didn’t really leave her out of his sight while he chatted with Hannah. The woman had raised two wonderful children, one of which Chan – that was enough to earn his trust, but his mother’s heart worried still. Chan did entangle Sun-Hi from Jessica’s grasp at some point and set her on his lap, bringing his gift close.

“Look what I got for you, little lady! It’s a gift, oh wow, a gift!” She blinked up at him, looking confused as usual. She said something that sounded like a question and then added the word “ma” at the end, making Felix giggle. He took a sip from his hot chocolate, watching as Chan unwrapped the present with one hand, using his teeth to help, and revealed a stuffed wolf. “Ooh, it’s a wolf! That’s dangerous! But I’m sure you’ll be brave enough to tame it, eh?” Sun-Hi reached out and tried to grasp the toy but failed. Chan chuckled and brought it closer, making it easier for her to hug it against her body. “She likes it,” Chan said proudly, looking at Felix. He was smiling wide, his eyes akin to moon crescents. Felix smiled back.

“Of course she does, it’s from you!” Chan grinned even wider and leaned down to nuzzle her head.

Dinner was delicious and reminded Felix of his mother’s meals. Talking about life back in Australia – in English nonetheless! – felt good, although it only increased the feeling of nostalgia. Jessica was kind and excitable, and Hannah was brutally honest and funny, and Felix found himself having a good time. A much better time than the one he’d have had if Doek-su had stayed behind. Sun-Hi smiled a lot, happy to be passed around between Felix, Chan and Jessica, getting more attention from multiple people than she’d received since the last visit of Felix’ own family. Felix also got to meet Berry, leaving Sun-Hi to Jessica and following Chan to his mother’s bedroom, where he could feed the small dog and pet her to his heart’s desire. 

Felix fed Sun-Hi again after dinner and changed her diaper in the privacy of the bedroom that Chan and Hannah had used to share as kids, and now shared only during holidays. When he went out, he found only Hannah sitting on the couch, staring at her phone. “He’s walking Berry.” Felix nodded and sat down on the couch next to her, keeping Sun-Hi in his lap. She blinked up at him and reached for his face and Felix leaned closer, letting her touch. “You know, Chan doesn’t stop yapping about you.”

Felix froze and then flushed, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “I – uh…” He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. Also – he hadn’t even been aware that Chan kept in regular contact with his family, he’d never seen the man on his phone and they were together 24/7.

“Look,” Hannah said then and adjusted her seating position so they were facing each other. Her voice got quieter and Felix pulled away from Sun-Hi to meet her eyes. “He’s looked much happier lately. I’m glad that you… well, you’re not like… Just – I’m glad you’re allowing him to be part of your family.” Felix’ mouth fell open, not having expected that. “He’s always wanted to have a family, to be wanted and needed, you know? You can probably tell. But he’s never really had that and yeah…”

“I – I’m glad I can help him a little, too. He’s been great for us. Not just as a bodyguard, as a friend. As everything.” Chan was everything. Felix had trouble describing his role and their relationship. 

“Yeah, he tends to just give it his all, and it always ends poorly for him.” Felix opened his mouth to ask for more, but Hannah waved her hand around. “I won’t be going into details, he can tell you if he wants to. But… I’ve seen him suffer enough, you know? I’m just glad that he seems happy right now. And I do want to thank you for that, it’s because of you.” Felix felt heat rush to his cheeks and looked away, down at his daughter again. 

“I really am just glad to help. Chan means a lot to me and he’s definitely part of my family, the most important part, really. After Sun-Hi, of course.” Hannah had a raised eyebrow and Felix flushed harder, realising how fluffy and pathetic that had sounded. He cleared his throat. “I mean, he’s a great man. And a great friend. Just great. I’m – thankful for him,” he continued clumsily and in the end decided to just close his mouth. 

“Yeah… You’re married, right? Why aren’t you with your husband right now?” Felix licked his lips and searched for an answer. He didn’t want to give her the full truth… Hannah interrupted his thought process and patted his hand. “Well in any case it is nice to finally meet you!”

Felix had fully intended to go home that night but Chan and his mother insisted they stay. Jessica was going to make pancakes in the morning and it was too late and cold to go out now, and Felix just couldn’t say no to Chan. Felix got Sun-Hi to sleep and laid her down in the twin bed that was as if dipped in Chan’s scent. “Thank you for inviting us,” he whispered as he sat down on the corner and looked up at the alpha. Chan smiled at him and joined him on the bed to peer at Sun-Hi. She was laid out on her back, the wolf plushie next to her. She was adorable, Felix knew. 

“Of course, Lixie.”

“I’m… We… I don’t want you to pity me and do this because you feel resp –”

“Felix, look at me. I care about you. A lot. And about Sun-Hi. I’m more than happy I got to spend Christmas with you, okay? I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you here, love.” Felix nodded slowly and moved closer for a hug. Chan hugged him back and nestled his face into the crook of Felix’ neck, scenting him. “If you need anything, I’ll be on the couch. My sister will probably come to bed later, I’ll tell her not to wake you up.”

“I think it will be us that wake her up,” Felix commented dryly and pulled away. Chan shrugged.

“Fine by me.” Felix chuckled and slapped his arm.

Christmas didn’t turn out to be that much of a disaster, and Felix was once again glad for the existence of his bodyguard. Not being occupied by Doek-su, who called to let him know his stay in the USA had been extended, also meant that Felix had some free time to work on his weekly vlog and felt comfortable to roam the house for it without the judgmental eyes of his husband on his back. In the end, he made a show of their Christmas decoration and took some clips of Sun-Hi playing “find the wolf” which consisted of Felix hiding the toy behind his back and then showing it to her again only for her to gasp and giggle excitedly. Because of her lack of object permanence, it was a difficult game for her, and a very funny one to Felix. Seungmin and Jeongin laughed from behind her too, and Felix had to give them a grin. Yeah, it was a nice Christmas.

Chapter Text

Sun-Hi’s first word was predictably mama. 

She said it while Felix was dancing with Hyunjin and Minho, completely lost in the music. The sound suddenly cut off and Felix froze on the spot, confused. Hyunjin slammed into him and Minho reached out to stabilise both as Chan approached in a jog.

“Lix! You’ve gotta hear this, oh my god!” The alpha smelled more excited than ever. He stopped right in front of Felix and lifted Sun-Hi in the air like a lion cub presented to the savanna populace. “Say it again, Sun-Hi!”

“Mama,” she said around some more blabber and Felix gasped, reaching out to pull her to his chest into a hug.

“Yes, yes, mama! I’m mama. Good job, baby!” He kissed her cheeks and Sun-Hi giggled, happy at the attention. She repeated the word a few more times, now that she noticed it got her that positive reaction and Felix laughed, praising her more.

Sun-Hi was definitely in the stage where some of the more exciting developments and milestones happened, and Felix didn’t want to miss a single one. Doek-su, on the other hand, seemed intent on skipping her whole developmental process and getting briefed every once in a while. 

“So, she talks now?”

Felix sent his husband a ridiculous look. “She says mama, no and 네. She doesn’t talk, but she’s learning how to. It’s fascinating.” Doek-su nodded and downed the glass of champagne. They were at the latest winter gala again, celebrating the fundraiser’s success of the past year, and Felix was taking advantage of the fact that Doek-su couldn’t just run off when there were people to notice him avoiding his spouse. Prime time to get him to listen to Sun-Hi’s updates.

“That’s something,” the alpha said, uninterested, and Felix held in a sigh.

“Perhaps you will come visit her in my rooms soon. To see it for yourself.” To do your duty to her as a father and not ignore her existence, Felix wanted to add but didn’t. There was no use causing a scene.

Unfortunately, Doek-su took his words to heart and barged into Felix’ room right after the gala. He was visibly drunk, swaying on his feet, as he approached Felix by the bed, completely disregarding his daughter once again. “Doek-su, she’s asleep. What are you–” His husband shushed him rudely and pulled him closer into a kiss. Felix wanted to retch.

“It’s been a while, beautiful,” Doek-su slurred once he pulled away and Felix’ eyes widened. He was tired, he wanted to go to bed. He wasn’t mentally prepared for this. 

“We – we can’t do it like this, Sun-Hi’s right there,” Felix pleaded quietly while his husband groped his ass and pushed him against the bed.

“She’s asleep, it’s fine. Besides, she’s too young to remember anything.” Felix opened his mouth but Doek-su grabbed his neck, stopping any argument from escaping his mouth. “You’re my omega. When I say I want to fuck you, you listen. If you know what’s good for you and yours.” Felix gaped and Doek-su took his silence for agreement, leaning in for a kiss again. 

He was rough and didn’t listen when Felix begged him not to be. He slapped the omega’s cheek to keep him quiet, fucked him hard and left him alone. Felix hated the whole thing, and he hated it more than usual knowing that his daughter was in the room for the whole duration.

The next morning, after he requested food in his rooms, Jeongin dropped off his breakfast. “I also have this – from Mr. Choi,” the alpha said, placing a vase of flowers and a box of chocolates on the table. Felix narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth, feeling like a cheap prostitute and not Doek-su’s husband. As if a couple of gifts were going to win Felix back after his absolutely degenerate behaviour the previous night! “Felix? Are you okay?”

“All good. Please throw away the roses. And take the box to the kitchens, share it with the staff.” Jeongin gave him an odd look but nodded. “Actually – if there’s any coffee flavoured chocolates, save those for Chan-hyung. Thank you, Jeongin.”

Felix was still mad at his husband when his second visit to Laos came around, so without giving any notice, he quietly packed a suitcase for himself and Sun-Hi, requested the nanny’s presence and left the country with the two and Chan. In the end, Doek-su didn’t even notice his absence but Felix reveled in his small victory over the alpha. He could still do as he wished.

There were a lot of changes already implemented since his last visit almost two years ago. There were a few more teachers being trained, a few more roads opened, a few more families financially supported. Felix got to visit a couple of the families that the donations directly helped, and barely kept it together. “Thank you, sir. Thank you,” Chanda, mother of three, was saying through tears, kissing his hands as if Felix himself had paved the road to her house or provided her with clean water. 

“Don’t, please,” Felix begged her, eyes on the baby she held close to her chest with one hand. “I have a little girl his age… I – I know I’d want her to be safe and healthy and educated, too. I – I want to help.” Felix did cry in the end, but only once he made it back to the hotel and could collapse in Chan’s arms. He made a private donation to UNICEF, ten billion won, despite not working with them on this project currently. He had money, more money than he could ever know what to do with. It was the least he could do to help make at least somebody’s world a better place.

Once again, just like during his previous visit, Felix was reminded that his life was nothing to cry about. Yes, Doek-su was an ass and sometimes roughed him up during sex or talked down to him, and yes, he failed to raise his child or give her the attention she deserved, but… Apart from that, Felix and Sun-Hi were both clothed, fed, warm, provided with everything they could wish. The rest of his family and his friends were as healthy and happy as they could be and Felix had to be thankful to be so lucky.

—

For the first time since Felix started living in the mansion, Chan unexpectedly took a couple of days off without requesting leave in advance. Felix and Sun-Hi were greeted by an unfamiliar alpha at the door and his inquiring text had only received a vague answer: I’m sorry for not being there, Felix. There’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ll be back on Friday. That naturally only made him more worried.

Felix didn’t have too many things planned outside of the mansion that day and he was glad, because the presence of the new bodyguard was unnerving. He didn’t seem like a bad man, and he was keeping a respectful distance, he hadn’t done anything to deserve Felix’ animosity, but he wasn’t Chan and that already raised Felix’ shackles. Sun-Hi was also distressed to be around an unfamiliar alpha and Felix decided to cancel a couple of appointments from the next day, to avoid needing a bodyguard as much as possible.

That evening, Felix ate with Changbin and Jisung in the leisure room, feeding Sun-Hi her frankly disgusting baby purees and putting her to sleep on the comfy couch with a few of her blankets and pillows. And Wolf Chan. “Do you guys know if Chan is doing okay? He hasn’t answered any of my texts this afternoon.”

“Yeah… He’s not doing too well, I’d say,” Jisung said with a wince and Changbin snorted.

“When is he ever doing okay though?” Felix blinked at that and Jisung hit the other omega’s shoulder. Changbin didn’t even flinch.

“Jesus, don’t do him dirty like that,” Jisung said and Changbin huffed. Felix frowned, not understanding.

“What do you mean?” he asked Changbin, who gave him a look.

“Come on, have you seen the guy? Depressed insomniac with abandonment issues, self-worth issues, anger iss–”

“Okay! You can stop now!” Jisung sent Changbin a meaningful look nodding in Felix’ direction. Felix just stood frozen, staring at his friends, not computing. Channie, happy, smiley, sweet, goofy, always there, always soothing and playing silly games with Sun-Hi Channie? That Chan? “He’s okay, don’t worry, Felix.” 

There was a long silence, the two other omegas staring at him, waiting for a reaction. Felix looked down at the floor. Had Chan really been struggling all this time without Felix even noticing? He knew the alpha rarely ever slept, and he could tell Chan was affected by his sterility, and the man liked making self-deprecating jokes but Felix had thought they were just jokes. “I’m the worst friend ever,” Felix whispered with a sigh.

“No, why? Lix, no! He really is fine–”

“Don’t lie now,” he said over Changbin and the man shut his mouth.

“Look, Felix, you’re not a bad friend. You’re… He has purposefully kept some issues from you. You can’t have known okay?” Felix flinched. Chan had been his bodyguard for essentially three years. Maybe they hadn’t been the closest of friends since the very beginning but… had he really not wanted to open up to Felix at all for all that time? Had he not felt like he could trust Felix as much as Felix trusted him? Had he – “Wait, Felix, before you start spiraling, he doesn’t tell this to anyone. I think it makes things easier, makes the days feel more normal for him, nicer, when the people he’s interacting with don’t know and don't pity him.”

“He told you guys,” Felix said, feeling like a petulant child, jealousy gripping at him.

“Not really, we just happened to be there for a few things, and also: Jisung is a sneaky weasel that likes eavesdropping.” Jisung grinned at him while Changbin pushed his shoulder this time. Jisung yelped and glared. 

“Hey, if I didn’t have superhuman ears –”

“You literally don’t, you just hide behi –”

“Superhuman ears!” 

Felix stared at them without paying attention to their bickering, biting his lip. There was nothing more he wanted to do at that moment than go find Chan, wherever he was, and hug him tightly. Kiss him, scent him, pull him into bed and spoon him the way he did Felix, and tell him he was perfect the way he was.

“What is – can you tell me more?” he asked and the two quieted down. Felix stared Jisung down, knowing he was the easier one to break, and that the boy already liked gossiping.

“I’m not sure he’d want us to –”

“Honestly, I think Felix should know, at least a little,” Changbin said suddenly, surprising both omegas. “I’ve known the guy for almost a decade and I’m so tired of watching him be miserable. I do think Felix can help. He’s already helping just by existing. You can’t argue that!” Jisung pursed his lips and sighed. Felix was reminded of his conversation with Hannah, and he wanted to say something but Jisung was already talking.

“Okay, but when he finds out, I’m throwing you under the bus!” he snapped and Changbin shrugged before facing Felix.

“Look, Chan-hyung’s been through a lot of shit and I love him, but I think the way he deals with it – by not dealing and berating himself – is not healthy. I think he needs more people in his corner actively looking out for him, and I think you’re already that for him.” Felix nodded quickly. Chan was his bodyguard and he protected him, helped him with everything and anything, but that went the other way too. Maybe Felix couldn’t physically stop an attack against his person, but he was going to be there for the man in every way he could, always. “I think the biggest problem is his shit self-esteem.”

“I agree,” Jisung said with a scowl. “I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s the lowest scum on Earth that deserves nothing but pain, and has to keep working and working to improve but will never be good enough. But it’s all kinda… Based on life events, you know?”

“His dad left, when he was ten,” Changbin said, starting to count on his hand. Felix’ mouth fell open. He hadn’t known that. 

“He relocated with his mom and sister to Korea to try to become an idol, spent six years in training and – in the end, he got kicked out.” Jisung took a deep breath loudly before continuing, “They told him he’d never make it.” 

“He tried to get back to high school but couldn’t pass the entrance exam and at that point they were starting to struggle a lot financially so he just started working. As far as I know his first girlfriend dumped him because he didn’t go into rut for her heat – but don’t quote me on that, I think he thinks no one knows.”

“And his only other serious relationship turned out to be shit, too, with the guy actually being married without telling him. He was only with Chan to piss off his alpha and get some fucking on the side, and Chan-hyung got in so deep, he wanted them to move in together! I hate that bitch.” Jisung obviously had been there for the aftermath, Felix realised, feeling something in his chest tighten more and more.

“Then he also found out he’s sterile, and I think it was then he decided he didn’t even want to try any other relationship?” Changbin looked at Jisung who nodded, looking down and playing with the long hair of the faux fur carpet. “So he’s been kinda lonely, too.”

“It’s really sad to watch him constantly try to give his life and soul for everyone and everything he does, hoping he’ll finally have something good, and then get slapped in the face and spend months in a dark place,” Jisung admitted, looking up at Felix with tearful eyes. Felix nudged closer and wrapped his arms around Jisung, the omega scenting him and hugging back. Changbin moved over closer too and Felix pulled him in as well. Felix himself was close to tears, his heart aching for the alpha.

“Please don’t slap him in the face,” Changbin said suddenly into his ear and Felix’ head snapped up, their eyes meeting. Changbin looked and smelled as miserable as him, his scent quite pungent for once. “I really think you make him feel happier. Like he has something good in his life. You and Sun-Hi. You three are playing house and I’ve honestly never seen him happier in the whole time I’ve known him. Please don’t pull the rug from under him.”

Felix’ tears started dripping down at that and he nodded mutely before he buried himself deeper between their bodies. He was never, ever going to hurt Chan intentionally. He wanted to keep the alpha right where he was, by his side, by Sun-Hi’s, forever. That was also when Felix himself was his happiest, and he wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of that.

The moment Chan was back the following morning, knocking on Felix’ door to let him know they had to leave for Sun-Hi’s doctor appointment, Felix threw the door open with a grin and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. “Channie-hyung!” There was a quiet huff and Chan’s arms wrapped around his middle, their bodies flush together for a few seconds. Felix breathed in the familiar scent of home and rubbed their heads together, feeling overwhelmingly happy at the sight and feel of the alpha. They pulled away and their eyes met. Chan gave him a small smile, but his face was sad and Felix bit his lip. “Sun-Hi missed you so much, she said you should never leave for so long again.”

“Oh, she did, eh?” Chan walked in after him and Felix bent to pick her up from the cradle. He nodded and turned so she could face the alpha. Sun-Hi immediately dropped the toy she’d been trying to eat as she grinned toothlessly and pointed at Chan. 

“Ani,” she said, followed by a few more words that were less recognisable and more gibberish.

“Yes, she did.” Chan was smiling back at her, waving his hands as he approached and took her from Felix’ arms.

“Hello, little lady. I heard you missed me. I missed you too! Did you not receive my letters?” Felix scoffed with a smile and went to collect his bag, getting ready to leave. He was going to get Chan talking in the evening, he decided.

The day was long, and Sun-Hi was fussier than usual just to add to his stress it felt like, and by the end of it, Felix wanted to drop dead. When he finally got her to settle down and sleep, he flopped down on the couch next to Chan and leaned against him. Chan’s arms came around him and pulled him closer until Felix ended up half in his lap. Felix smiled and rubbed his nose at Chan’s scent gland on his neck, scenting him thoroughly.

“I missed you too, you know,” he whispered and moved away so their eyes could meet. Chan gave him another small side smile and buried his face in Felix’ neck. 

“Me too. More than you know. I – I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly, Lix.” Felix shook his head and played with Chan’s fingers in his lap.

“I know that you wouldn’t up and leave with no reason. I trust you, hyung.” Chan looked at him, eyes soft and vulnerable. Felix smiled gently. “If you’d like to talk about it…”

Chan sighed and leaned his forehead against Felix’, closing his eyes. They stayed like this for a few seconds in the quiet and Felix wondered if it was going to be better to take back his offer. He thought back on his conversation with Jisung and Changbin, about him feeling even worse than usual because of whatever happened and about hiding things to feel normal. Felix wanted to offer him a safe place where he could feel good. He opened his mouth but Chan spoke over him. “Someone that I – someone that was close to me passed away three days ago,” he rasped out. Felix blinked and felt the alpha’s sadness as his own.

“I’m sorry, Chan. My condolences.” Chan nodded against him but didn’t open his eyes. “Can I ask… who was it?”

“A mentor of sorts.” The alpha pulled away and looked to the side, and Felix saw he was fighting tears. “He, uh, helped me a lot a few years ago. Basically saved my life, really. We became friends. He was a great man. A owe him a lot. I owe him for meeting you.” Chan turned to him with a small smile and Felix gave him a confused look. “I wouldn’t have went into security if he didn’t pull some strings and find me a job. You, uh – you technically met him at the dojo.” Felix remembered the face of a kind older man, giving Chan a look of pride.

“Well, I’d love to… visit him again one day. Say thank you for bringing you to me and taking care of you.” Felix’ voice broke and he felt a few tears fall down his cheek. Chan’s own face twisted and Felix suspected he started crying too but he pulled Felix close into a hug, cradling the back of his head, so Felix couldn’t be sure. Felix wrapped his arms around him and buried his fingers in Chan’s curls, keeping him close and releasing soothing pheromones. “I’m sorry, Channie-hyung.”

They stayed like this for a long time, until Chan no longer smelled like tears and grief, and Felix pulled back to wipe his face gently. He pushed the alpha’s hair out of his eyes and smiled at him softly. Chan tried to give him a smile back, eyes and lips red and puffy, and grabbed his hand to place a kiss. He was so beautiful and Felix’ heart ached.

“Could you tell me more?” Felix asked and Chan cleared his throat.

“Ah, my life’s not that interesting,” he said with a laugh, dismissing it. Felix knew to look for it now and could see it for what it was. Chan always laughed off anything that concerned him and Felix hated how he thought he wasn’t worth talking about. Felix asked with a reason. He was curious about Chan’s life. He wanted to know Chan inside and out.

“I think it is. I’d like to know, please.” Their eyes met and held for a long time before Chan licked his lips.

“We met… Damn, it’s been twelve years. I, uh, got in a fight in this public park,” Chan said, his cheeks reddening, hand going through his hair. “Min-Jun happened to be passing by, separated us and told me I can put my anger to better use. He owns –” Chan looked up with a set jaw, fighting tears. Felix rubbed his arm. “He owned the dojo I took you to. He let me join his classes and use the dojo to train for free in exchange for me doing some odds jobs around. Cleaning, ordering new equipment, later on handling the children’s classes.”

“That was really kind of him.” Chan nodded with a small smile.

“He was really kind. Helped a lot with… managing anger. Fighting helped a lot.” Felix smiled and nuzzled his cheek against the alpha’s. “He also helped me get a job initially, nothing fancy, just a shop assistant at the supermarket next door. He knew the owner. Once I started teaching the kids, he’d pay me for that too. Then he talked to a friend who was doing security, got me a job there too, with glowing recommendations.” Chan shook his head and huffed. “He really took me under his wing, did so much for me. I’d never be able to repay him for everything.” He rubbed at his eyes and Felix felt his lip tremble.

“Why… How did he…”

“He got jumped on the street. No cameras or anything, we don’t know who did it. He got to the hospital but lost too much blood and had a heart attack while in surgery.” Chan swallowed hard and clenched his teeth, looking to the side again. Felix squeezed his hand and tried to release some calming pheromones again. 

“I’m so sorry, Chan.” Chan nodded.

“It’s just shit. I can’t imagine anyone that would have wanted to harm him. He was the best person there was.” Felix hugged him again, feeling upset at the thought himself, and Chan hugged back tightly, rubbing his back. Felix wanted to laugh. Chan had lost a father figure a few days ago and he was the one trying to console Felix. After a few minutes of silence the alpha changed the topic and Felix allowed it this time. “And what were you guys up to?”

“We watched Princess Mononoke, and Sun-Hi recognised the wolves,” Felix announced and pulled away to look at Chan. Chan nodded, looking satisfied. “We didn’t do much, she wasn’t a fan of the substitute bodyguard – and I wasn’t either – so we stayed back mainly.”

“Did he do something?” Chan asked, eyebrows furrowing, looking intimidating all of a sudden. Felix bit his lip, eyes involuntarily jumping down to the man’s muscular chest.

“No, no! We just wanted our bodyguard,” Felix reassured and their gazes met. Chan’s eyes fell to his lips and Felix leaned in before he could think about it twice, kissing him. The alpha kissed back, his soft lips feeling holy against his. When they drew away, Felix cleared his throat. “We hung out with Sungie and Binnie. Well, Sun-Hi slept through the party, but that’s a good thing.” Chan chuckled and Felix hoped he wasn’t going to cross a line with what he was going to say next. The conversation felt more open than ever on Chan’s end, and Felix wanted more. “Jisung-hyung said you wanted to be an idol?”

Chan’s face froze and then slowly fell and Felix suddenly wanted to take his words back. His mentor had just passed away, he was grieving, and according to their friends, his failure in becoming an idol had been one of those pivoting points in life that contributed to his decreased mental health. Of course Felix had to go and put his foot in his mouth, ruin the moment and make Chan feel even worse. Felix moved away to sit on the couch, his heart and breathing speeding up, petrified he’d messed everything up. Chan’s jaw was set hard, his hand falling off Felix’ back.

“I’m sorry. Please forget I said anything!” Felix said quickly, lowly, still mindful of the sleeping Sun-Hi at the other side of the room. “And – and don’t get mad at Jisung! He mentioned it in passing, and I got curious and –”

“No, hey, hey, love. I’m not angry, come back here.” Chan pulled him closer so he was sprawled all over his lap again and Felix grabbed onto his shirt. “I’m not angry at Jisung either, it’s part of his life, too, he can talk about it obviously.” Well, that was new. Had Jisung known Chan even back then?

“You don’t have to tell me about it, I just – yeah, you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Chan said and gave him a small smile. “It’s just a… time of my life I don’t think much about anymore.” He huffed but it sounded forced. “A bit after my father, uh, left, I got this genius idea of becoming an idol. They make lots of money, you know? And money was an issue at the time. Honestly, I think some part of me just wanted to go do my thing, be seen. I’ve always liked music and performing and entertaining people. I bugged my mom about it for weeks and in the end she allowed me to apply, I think she only did it because she didn’t think I have a chance. But then the three of us – my mom and sister, too – were moving to Korea and I went into training.”

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.” Felix’ eyes widened. That was such a young age for joining the entertainment world. Chan nodded at his look with a chuckle.

“I hadn’t even presented at that point. It was just this naive childish dream. Should’ve known it wasn’t going to go anywhere.” Chan sighed and his arms tightened around Felix. “In any case, I spent more than five years there. Doing dancing lessons, vocal lessons, behaviour lessons, PR training – I told you I understood some things you were doing for your thesis, I wasn’t lying! There was also training to improve my Korean, get rid of the accent.”

“Well that one didn’t stick,” Felix teased and Chan made a face, grinning.

“Naur, what gave you that idea?” he asked, emphasising his Australian accent, and Felix laughed. 

“Wait, dancing lessons too?” Chan chuckled and nodded. Felix thought back on all the times Chan’s leg would tap along to the music, his eyes tracking their moves as Felix danced with Hyunjin and Minho. What he’d interpreted as Chan being bored out of his mind could have been interest. “Would you join us at the studio?”

“If you want me to. I… do miss it, I’ll admit. I don’t think I was ever as passionate about that as you, but I did enjoy it. It’s been a while though,” he warned but Felix only squealed and leaned in to kiss him quickly in excitement. Chan didn’t even manage to react, only blinking after the fact, and then leaned to steal a kiss of his own. “There was a lot I learned there for sure, also writing lyrics, producing, mixing. I liked that part the most.”

“What happened, then?” 

Chan sighed and looked away for a while and Felix didn’t rush him. “Jisung and I met there, but he probably told you that.” He hadn’t but Felix didn’t want to interrupt. “He joined when he was fifteen, and still hadn’t presented. That’s usually not a good idea, what both of us did was stupid.” Chan shook his head and licked his lips. “At that time, there were some competitions going on internally, teams forming and doing challenges, winning things – some getting to debut. I was one of the team leaders and I got Jisung on my team, that’s how we met. He was a mouthy idiot back then, too. But talented as hell.” Felix smiled, it was obvious the two cared for each other a lot. “There was this big dancing challenge organised one day and that’s exactly when Jisung presented.” Felix’ eyes widened. “Yeah… It was a room full of people, majority of which alphas.”

“Jesus. What happened?”

“I’ve never seen so many alphas entering a rut at once. Teenagers but still alphas, you know. Unable to control any urges. There was only one other omega in the hall, and she booked it the moment people started sniffing around. They all jumped Jisung. Even one of the company staff.” Chan’s face twisted and Felix looked at him with horror. Just having Doek-su jump him every few months was something Felix could barely tolerate and the man was his husband. He couldn’t imagine a group of unfamiliar alphas going after him. “I, uh, well, you know I don’t usually get affected by this kind of stuff. I just got so fucking angry. Fuck, Felix, you should have seen his face, cowering on the ground and trying to wiggle away from five guys on top of him.” Felix didn’t want to see his face, Felix wanted to hear that Jisung had left the room unscathed. “I went to drag away the alphas that were going after him, and, uh, I got really angry – there was a fight. It was a big fight too, such a mess. Jisung ended up mostly untouched at the end. Pretty traumatised though.”

“Did you fight them off alone?”

“A few betas joined to help, actually. But I started it and I did most of the damage and that was all management cared about.” Chan huffed and shook his head, looking increasingly more annoyed. “A lot of people got hospitalised, and there was an idol – an actual debuted idol – in the jury of the challenge, and I broke his nose. He sued me for damage to his image and property or whatever. That was when the managers told me it was over. I obviously hadn’t learned how to behave like a real idol, how to be one. So they kicked me out.”

“What the fuck? Because you protected an omega? What the fuck!? How’s that fair? How is attacking an omega in heat idol behaviour!?” Felix was getting angry as well, on Chan’s behalf, on Jisung’s behalf, on the behalf of all mistreated omegas. “It was because of that idol, wasn’t it? He probably pulled strings!”

“Maybe, maybe not. They did have a point, I wasn’t idol material.” Felix met his eyes with a glare and Chan hurried to continue, “Come on, Lixie, I was there for more than five years. Most people came, spent an year training, debuted. I should have realised at some point they were just milking me for money and I wasn’t good enough.”

“You’re good enough,” Felix said passionately and grabbed Chan’s face. “You’re more than that. You’re the best. You’re perfect. Literally can’t think of a single better alpha. Fuck these guys and this shitty industry.”

Chan stared at him for a long time and then leaned in to kiss him briefly. “The best thing that came out of all this was that Jisung sued them and got a pretty nice sum out of it, as well as fully covered therapy. It got settled quietly but it ended in his favor.”

“Wait, what happened with him? How did he go from there to being a… questionable chef at a CEO’s place?” Chan chuckled.

“He quit, actually. Right after the whole fiasco. His parents were rightfully unhappy at how the situation was handled. Hence the suing. He only recently got the job here, a few months before you came. His dad picked up golf after the settlement and after a while, started mingling with some rich people. He met Choi’s head of staff there and yeah…”

“I’m still surprised he hasn’t been fired yet. Don’t tell him that,” Felix said quickly and Chan laughed.

“Yeah, I think he’s lucky there’s five other chefs working on the meals and covering his ass. He probably hasn’t even registered on Choi’s radar. But it’s a chill job that gives him a lot of time to spend on music and studying, so I think he’s fine with it for now.” Felix nodded and brushed away an eyelash from Chan’s cheek.

“And what happened to you after… the fiasco?” Chan sighed and placed a hand on Felix’ thigh, rubbing circles into it with his thumb.

“I ended up in a park beating up some guy like a moron,” he said and Felix huffed and fought a smile as he leaned in closer.

“Well, I’m glad you did.” He kissed Chan’s surprised face just as Sun-Hi let out a wail. Felix pulled away with a small groan and Chan patted his thigh.

“I’ll get her. I have a couple of days to make up for anyway.”

—

Valentine's day came with a surprise. Felix entered the living room with Sun-Hi on his hip, feeling like a zombie after four sleepless days taking care of a sick baby. He had to stop at the entrance, perplexed and wondering if he was seeing things from the lack of sleep. There were so many roses – ordered to accomplish an ombre effect from deep red to pure white. They formed the shape of a heart and Felix had never been more confused. A maid was fussing with some of the last roses, Felix noticed, and was about to ask her who had had them delivered when his husband walked into the room as well.

“Ah, Felix. I see you've stumbled upon your gift. For Valentine's,” he clarified and finished fixing his tie. Felix blinked. Since when did they exchange gifts for Valentine's day? Since when did Felix get this kind of romantic treatment? They hadn't even really spoken in the past couple of weeks, except for the three times that Doek-su demanded sex late in the evening. “Na-rae, come over, take a picture of us.” 

Felix rolled his eyes discreetly. Now it all made sense; it was for the socials. Doek-su had the image of a loving husband and father to maintain, and after their lack of posts surrounding Christmas, their Instagram page was long overdue of an update. 

“Right. I'm glad that I managed to run into you,” Felix said and then paused as they posed for the maid to take multiple pictures from different angles. “Sun-Hi is no longer sick! I know you were worried about catching the virus and missing work, but now that she is healthy again… Perhaps you'd like to spend some time with her?” 

Felix didn't really give the man a choice and handed him the baby, hoping that the physical contact and closeness was going to trigger some sort of parental instincts in Doek-su. It wasn't his best idea, but he was getting desperate in his attempts to get his husband to notice their child. The alpha took Sun-Hi without dropping her, thankfully, and stared at her with a constipated face. The baby stared back with curiosity as if meeting someone new and it hurt Felix that this was her reaction to her own sire. Doek-su cleared his throat.

“She is looking healthy indeed. I will spend time with her over dinner. I must take my leave, a full day of work is scheduled.” He handed their daughter back to Felix, who gave him a dissatisfied look, jaw clenched. Doek-su turned around to leave and almost bumped into Chan, who has standing with his hands clenched in the middle of the room, glaring at the taller alpha. Felix’ eyes widened and he shook his head from behind his husband’s shoulder, quietly signaling to Chan to step back. “You're in my way, dog,” Doek-su snapped and Chan's mouth opened. 

“Chan,” Felix warned and Doek-su sent him a disappointed look before leaving. 

The rest of the holiday, since there was no one to impress in the privacy of their home, was uneventful with Doek-su not even showing up that evening. Felix didn’t mind that – he preferred not being in his husband’s presence anyway. Besides that, he got to hang out with his friends soon after, and their Valentine’s was a lot more spicy. 

Hyunjin apparently had received gifts from two separate people that he had known have interest in him and even one from a secret admirer. “Yeah, and which one is going to win you over, huh?” Jeongin asked from where he was sprawled on the floor. They were all in the leisure room, playing board games, just two days after the holiday.

“Do I have to be won over? What if I want to be single?”

“I already won him over, c’mon guys,” Changbin bragged but was ignored.

“So you don't like anyone? Anyone at all?” Seungmin asked, looking serious and suspicious all of a sudden. Felix looked up form the sheet where he'd been counting the points his team – him, Changbin and technically Sun-Hi – had obtained. 

“Why? Do you want me to like someone?” Hyunjin teased with a smirk, looking very smug. Jisung’s eyes widened and he looked at Minho, who just rolled his eyes with a shake of his head.

“No, he doesn't,” Jeongin answered for Seungmin and Felix cleared his throat. 

“Are you guys ready with your points?” he asked, trying to steer the conversation back on track. Classic alphas and their posturing. 

“Are you Minnie's secretary as well as boyfriend?” Hyunjin asked, seemingly unaware there was anyone else in the room but Jeongin and Seungmin. Seungmin was already shaking his head.

“He's not my boyfriend,” he said curtly. Jeongin sent Seungmin a betrayed look. 

“But you want him to be, don't you?” Hyunjin just kept pushing and Changbin shifted in his seat next to Felix, obviously not too excited about the alpha pheromones that were starting to spread all over. Felix bumped their shoulders together.

Seungmin sputtered and Chan raised his voice over him. “We have fifteen points, and you?” He was playing with Minho and Jeongin. 

“Thirteen,” Felix muttered sadly, glancing at the baby monitor on his right. Sun-Hi was a lot more interested in sleeping in their rooms than pulling her weight in the game! That was why they were going to lose. Just like the previous round.

“Sixteen! Aha, we got you!” Jisung exclaimed and they started a new round. 

It only took until the end of the round for the three alphas to pick up their… bickering again. Hyunjin was calculating their team score this time instead of Jisung, and he looked at Jeongin who was biting his pen, deep in thought. 

“Innie, are you using the same pen as me?” he asked with a gasp and Jeongin’s eyes widened.

“I picked it up randomly. But I'm switching to another one now!” Changbin handed him one.

“Seriously… Stop flirting with me like this!” Hyunjin continued and Jeongin flushed, getting more and more red within the second. Felix shared a look with Chan as Seungmin sighed deeply. 

“Can we move on or what?” he snapped. “How many points do we have?” 

Felix shook his head. He was just going to give up on understanding his friends’ dynamic. Alphas.

Chapter Text

After that one night of the winter gala, Doek-su started coming to his room for sex again regularly. Felix knew there was nothing he could say to stop his husband from taking what was by law his so he didn't try. He would just grit his teeth and keep quiet, knowing the faster Doek-su was done the sooner he was going to leave him alone. Sometimes he found himself thinking back on the year and a half break he'd had from pleasuring his husband during the pregnancy and right after Sun-Hi’s birth. Perhaps getting pregnant again was worth it if it meant he didn't have to feel violated on the regular again. He never thought like this for long, however. He was back to dancing and his body was finally back to what it was before the pregnancy and he was still struggling with sleep and a colicky teething little baby. Felix was going to take a break from pregnancies and children at least for a year!

For once life actually seemed to have heard his pleas and his heat came early – when Doek-su was on a visit to Japan.

As usual, it was Chan that noticed first he was entering his pre-heat, his nose immaculate. “Isn't it too early for your heat?” the alpha asked in passing as they walked out of the mansion with a day full of meetings and appointments ahead.

Felix paused for a second and then continued down the stairs. He was in pre-heat – that explained the headache and low mood he'd woken up with. “It can be irregular after having a baby, I've heard, hormones going back to their usual,” Felix rationalised with a shrug. It was just ten days earlier, nothing he was going to worry about. Chan nodded and opened the car door for him and Sun-Hi.

“Choi’s still in Japan…”

“I'll think about that later, we're already late now,” Felix said, his voice carrying a bite he couldn't hold back. Chan didn't say anything in return and Changbin was already talking, so the topic was dropped.

That evening, after a long day of socialising and group work when all he wanted to do was crawl into bed with a heated pad and sleep, he finally flopped down on the couch in the leisure room with a groan, hoping for some quiet time. Quiet wasn’t an option and within minutes, Jeongin was also sitting there, hand buried in a bag of chips, and Jisung was pacing around in front of the blank TV screen, rambling about the movie he’d watched the previous night. 

“Can you imagine? That’s not the kind of message you want to send to young omegas! I’m honestly outraged!” He did sound angry, and smelled it, too. The sour scent of distressed omega irked Felix’ nose.

“Well, aren’t you such an activist,” Felix drawled, wishing for peace of mind. Jisung stopped in his tracks and gave him one of his wide-eyed open-mouthed looks like a scared critter and Felix sighed, feeling bad.

“Someone’s moody today,” Jeongin commented and Felix immediately switched back to being annoyed. He growled at the alpha, who raised his hands in the air.

“It’s just the pre-heat,” Chan said from next to him and Felix leveled him with a glare.

“You’re not just supposed to tell everyone about it!” he hissed lowly.

“Hey, Lix-ah, we can smell it too. He didn’t out you or anything,” Jisung said then and Felix felt embarrassment wash over him. Not only was he stinking up the place, but also becoming irrationally angry in front of his friends. He looked down at his lap and the mini croissants he’d been snacking on. “But yeah… Anyway, weird movie, hah.”

“Do you guys want some?” Felix offered in retribution and Jisung and Jeongin both perked up, coming closer. Chan chuckled and leaned in to bump their shoulders together. He stayed quiet and listened as the others chattered, feeling guilty for snapping. By the end of the evening, he was less moody at least, and he had the antics of his friends to thank for that.

“Well, that was a successful evening. Sun-Hi didn't even stir once!” Felix said, feeling elated over the fact. Maybe she was finally entering the stage of not waking up every two hours to scream for no reason. He rubbed his face, the tiredness of the day and his body preparing for heat finally hitting him hard.

“Who knows, maybe you'll start sleeping normally again!” Felix hummed and walked through his door, dragging his feet to the bed and lying down the moment he reached it. He watched as Chan stepped up to the crib and smiled down at Sun-Hi. He bit down a smile himself, scenting the air. The alpha’s strong musky smell was everywhere in the room and it made his brain mushy. He wanted the alpha everywhere in the room. Everywhere around him. Inside him. “Well, she looks like a little angel.” Felix stared up at the man walking closer, the dim lamp behind him forming a halo around his head. He looked like an angel. He was so beautiful. Chan sat down on the bed by him, a small frown between his brows as he reached out to push some of Felix' hair out of his face. “Lix, I'm pretty sure your heat will hit fully by the morning.”

“I don't want to tell Doek-su,” Felix whispered and drew a pillow closer to hug. The last thing he wanted was to spend another heat with his husband and his obsession with his own knot. He wanted a safe heat, a nice heat, a pleasurable heat.

“I get that, love. You – uh, you are going to do it on your own then?” Chan asked just as quietly. Felix bit his lip, looking up at him and his ruffled, sleepy head, and tried to be brave.

“Well, I was hoping I won't have to spend it alone…” Chan blinked and his shoulders squared, his back straightening. It showed off the outline of his big chest and Felix wanted to touch so badly.

“Oh. I didn't know you've arranged someone. I, uh, I'll just –”

“I'm talking about you, hyung,” Felix interrupted, eyebrows furrowing. Chan looked at him with honest to God surprise and Felix had to pause for a second. Chan had fucked Felix so many times, one of those during a previous heat too; how was the alpha surprised? He quickly remembered his talk with Jisung and Changbin and felt his heart ache. “Channie, there's literally no one else I'd like to spend my heat with. I want you,” he said gently, one hand reaching out to touch Chan's. He felt emotional, probably due to hormones, but he wanted his alpha to know he was a catch. He was wanted. Chan's scent changed, his face unreadable, vulnerable, and Felix pulled on his wrist. “You're perfect.”

Chan leaned closer and slowly lowered his face to Felix', pressing his full lips against his. Felix let out a soft moan, feeling his chest flutter. Kissing Chan was never going to get old. He lived for it. “If you're sure…”

“I'm sure. Please, alpha.” Chan let out a small growl at that and moved to lie down next to him, bringing him closer by the waist. 

“Of course, sweetheart. I'll take care of you, okay?” Felix nodded against him and snuggled closer, enjoying the warmth and a kiss on the forehead. “Thank you for trusting me with this,” Chan whispered against his skin and nuzzled his hair. “I'll make you feel good, sunshine. I lo– I’d love to make you feel good.” Felix nuzzled his face back and hid a grin against the alpha's cheek. He was warm, he was safe, he was happy his alpha wanted to be with him, he was relieved he was not going to be with his husband again. His daughter was safe and sound in her crib, too. The day couldn't have gone better. Felix felt tired all of a sudden, and left a small kiss on Chan's jawline before burying his face in his neck. Chan chuckled. “Yeah, let's get a good night's sleep first, eh?” 

Felix woke up to a mix of scents, Chan's soothing one, Sun-Hi's milky baby scent, and his own sweet heat scent dominating the rest. His body was on fire and his insides were clenching around nothing, the need to be filled overwhelming. He moaned as he flipped himself onto his back and forced his eyes to open. He had to blink a few times to focus on Chan’s head poking over the top of the mattress, the alpha clearly sitting on the floor. He registered Sun-Hi’s rambling then and grinned lazily. “Channie-hyung,” he called out and the head turned in his direction, two eyes peering over the bed to meet his.

“Mama is awake! Let's tell him hi and bye.” Chan came over with Sun-Hi who grinned at the sight of Felix and he held out his arms, happy to be close to his daughter, ignoring the ache in his nether regions for a few minutes. 

“Hi, honey.”

“Mama! Ani, bok!” Book – he almost corrected but didn’t have the heart. She added a few more words that were plain gibberish and Felix smiled at her, nodding along. He scented her thoroughly as she spoke and kissed her forehead.

“Wow, that's great.” She blabbered for some time more but Felix' mind was barely on it anymore. He could see Chan's biceps flexing and his thick thighs and his big lips – stretched into a smile, dimples out, happy wrinkles out – and he wanted the man to rail him. Chan's nose twitched and their eyes met.

“Alright, little lady. I think your mommy needs to rest now. I told you he's sick right? He has an ouchie. Give him a ppoppo and let's let him rest yeah?” Sun-Hi kissed him wetly and Felix nuzzled her face one last time. 

“Be good for Sun-Bae, baby.” Chan left the room and Felix had to restrain himself from whining. He trusted Chan, the alpha was going to come back. He was going to take care of him. Felix slicked up more just thinking about it. Feeling hotter and hotter, he started taking off his shirt, fighting against the fabric sticking to his sweaty skin and his dizzy head. He finally managed to get it off him, panting in the cool air, when Chan opened the door, a tray of food in hand. Felix met his eyes and whimpered, his hole leaking slick steadily at the sight of the alpha. Chan was at the bedside faster than Felix could blink, setting the tray on the night stand with a clang, and jumping on the bed in the next moment. 

Felix moaned as the man put a hand at his waist and another wrapped at the back of his head, bringing their lips close. Chan groaned into his mouth and slipped his tongue inside and Felix went lax, welcoming him in. He pressed closer to rub their hard dicks together and Chan growled, his hand slipping closer to grab at his ass. Felix' hips buckled. Chan's fingers were so close to his hole, the soft fabric of his pajama barely providing for a barrier given how soaked it was. Felix whined, shaking in Chan's arms. He needed more, his channel was spasming painfully, he needed to be full. He needed it now. 

“Please,” he gasped as he moved away, his hands grasping at Chan’s defined pecs. He moaned. “Please more, alpha, please.” 

“Fuck, yes, Lix.” Chan was peeling off his soaked pants immediately, and pushing him backwards to lay on the bed. The alpha hissed through his teeth as he went down to nose between his ass cheeks, one hand grasping Felix' pulsing length. Felix’ breath hitched, his legs falling open automatically. One squeeze of his dick and Chan's warm tongue on his hole were enough for him to finish. He moaned and tugged on Chan's hair. Their eyes met and Felix could swear he was seeing the alpha's pupils dilate in real time. “God, Lixie. So pretty and so wet. Perfect, you're perfect. Can you come for me again?” 

“Yes, yes, more! Please.” Chan let out a noise between a growl and a moan and went back to roughly licking and tongue-fucking him. Felix’ hand made it to his hair again and he moved his hips, getting just the best angles. Chan let him move him around and squeezed his thighs hard. “Channie…” Felix whined. He was so empty. 

“Taste so good,” Chan rasped and pulled away, his face glistening in the light from Felix' slick. Felix groaned at the sight. Felix wanted to beg again but in the next moment the alpha was burying three fingers inside him, curling them inwards and touching the pleasure spot. Felix screamed and then his voice broke when he felt Chan's teeth at his inner thigh. He gasped, his back bending and stomach tensing. Chan set a fast pace with his fingers and Felix squirmed under him, pleasure overcoming his whole body. “Feel so good. So tight. Perfect.”

“Hyung, please,” Felix begged, tears gathering in his eyes. He needed Chan's cock in him immediately. “More, it hurts, please, alpha!” He yelled at the end as Chan swiftly replaced his fingers with his big cock. Felix’ eyes snapped open and he stared at the man's beautiful face, barely seeing him. He was seeing stars – but maybe that was one and the same thing. It was so good, so full, so right. 

“Good now?” Felix nodded frantically and reached out towards Chan's face. He needed to kiss him too. Chan bent him in half, his legs ending up by his head, and leaned down to capture his lips, not once stopping his pistoning hips. He set off at a punishing pace, growling in the back of his throat, one hand gripping Felix' neck but not squeezing. Felix gasped and moaned, the gigantic dick inside him feeling like it reached his stomach. There was a knot forming, he could feel, and he started moving his own hips as much as he could. He needed it. Chan's thrusts became more erratic and he released his mouth to continue kissing his neck, his hand going to squeeze the flesh at his thighs instead. There was so much stimulation all around Felix; the hot mouth sucking bruises into his skin, the big hands groping and kneading his legs, the cock slipping in and out of him, his own dick brushing against a toned stomach with every movement. Felix jumped with a yell the moment the knot made it past his rim and he dug his nails into Chan's shoulder. Chan bit into his shoulder at the same time, keeping him in place and Felix felt the tears finally fall down his face. There was pain but in the most delicious way possible and there was pleasure, so much pleasure. Felix realised he was smiling when Chan lifted his head to kiss his wet cheeks and slip his tongue in his mouth. “Good omega. Perfect. Mine.” 

Felix came with a shout of the alpha's name and the man didn't stop brutally thrusting inside him throughout. His whole body shook at the overstimulation and Chan went back to kissing his neck, one hand slipping down to play with Felix' nipples. Felix gasped, eyes rolling back into his skull, his prolonged orgasm not letting off. “Yours – only yours. Chan! God!” Chan slammed in one last time and then he was cumming inside, his teeth back to digging into his shoulder and keeping him in place. The warmth, the fullness, they were divine. Felix couldn't remember feeling better. He moaned, his body continuing to twitch and tremble in the aftershock of his orgasm. Fuck. Fuck. That felt fucking good. “Oh my God. Oh my God.” 

Chan licked his neck, making noises that were more animal than human, and pulled his legs lower so he was no longer folded in half. “So good. So good.” He continued touching and licking and kissing as Felix went down from his high. They were tied together and Felix never wanted that to end. In the post-knot clarity, he could put together that Chan was in rut again. It made something sick deep inside of him happy. It was just him that had that effect on the alpha, he was special. Felix whined when Chan's teeth scraped against his sensitive shoulder and Chan whined back, licking it again. Felix finally extracted his nails from the man's back and Chan hissed. Felix nuzzled their faces together and Chan pressed himself closer. 

“So good,” Felix agreed and relaxed fully onto the mattress. His legs felt like jelly. He felt like jelly. It was a good feeling. He could barely move and his brain never really left the heat daze, excited and ready to continue fucking even though there was still a knot in his ass. He didn't remember the last time his body had been so enthusiastic during a heat, frankly probably never. Chan continued placing soft kisses and licks all over his collarbones and neck, nibbling here and there, and Felix sighed blissfully. It was a promise for more to come.

Felix watched through hooded eyes as the alpha pulled away and then scooped up his leaking cum back into his channel. Felix moaned, his dick jumping at that. Chan was making sure he was bred properly, his brain was going crazy with desire. He reached out towards the man's already hardening dick and Chan groaned, rutting up in his hand. Felix wanted him inside him! Immediately!

Chan fucked him two more times – one from behind, slamming his hips against the mattress so hard it bounced, and one against the wall by the empty crib when they'd visited the bathroom for a pee break and then hadn't managed to get back to the bed by the time Chan mounted him again – and Felix was in heaven. He already felt raw and fucked out and it was barely day one of his heat. Chan made a noise and he opened his mouth to accept a fruit offering. Felix sucked on the sweet melon, no strength left in him to chew. Chan's lips were on his shoulders and nape, continuing to kiss all over, his food-less hand lightly gracing over his side. He was still under, resorting to one word sentences and grunts, and Felix still preened with pride at that.

The moment he felt his stomach mostly full, he whined and squirmed in Chan's lap. “Hyung, please.” Chan groaned into his neck and adjusted their hips so his cock just slipped into Felix' wet hole above it and Felix' head fell backwards with a gasp.

It was a great heat, Felix decided. His best heat to date, even. He woke up on day four, feeling sore and achy and thoroughly destroyed – in a good way. He whined a little, expecting his alpha to pull him closer. When Chan didn't, he lifted his head and looked behind himself. The man was lying half on his front, face buried into the pillows, and a hand over Felix' middle but otherwise dead to the world. “Channie-hyung?” There was nothing. The clock on the wall said it was only 9 am, and they had continued fucking at least until midnight, but he would have expected the alpha to be up already. Felix bit his lip, turning around without letting the warm hand on his body slip. His body protested at the movement and he felt like he was going to remember this heat for a long time. 

Chan continued sleeping soundly and Felix smiled. His rut had only lasted throughout that first day, the other two he'd been fully there but still keeping up with Felix' demands. That must have been tough, Felix knew and appreciated the alpha even more. He leaned closer and placed a kiss on his forehead, then on his cheek, then on his pouty lips. Chan was so beautiful, Felix couldn't look away. His messy hair was sticking in all directions and he had some love bites around his neck. His back looked like it had been mauled by an animal and Felix realised it had been him – he was the animal. Chan was the most beautiful man Felix had ever seen. The Sun from behind Felix shone right onto Chan's body, giving his skin a golden tint, making his hoop earring glint. Felix licked his lips and had to keep himself from jumping him again. He probably didn't have the power for it anyway. He pressed closer, pushing himself between Chan and the mattress and the alpha made a noise before tightening his arm on Felix' waist and burying his nose into his hair without waking up. He was so warm and smelled so good. And he was still there! Felix grinned and closed his eyes, allowing himself another nap.

The next time he woke up, it was well past noon, and he could feel kisses pressed against his back and a wet cloth working on cleaning his body. He smiled and nuzzled his nose against the pillow where the alpha's scent was most pungent. “Morning, sweetheart. You feeling good?” 

“Never felt better.”

Doek-su arrived back home that same evening and requested they spend dinner together, reminding Felix again that there were parts of his life he disliked, in case his last few days with Chan had blinded him to that. Felix placed Sun-Hi into the high chair and fiddled with her bib, not meeting his husband's eyes. “Bok?”

“We’ll read a book later. For now, Sun-Hi will have a very nice sweet potato puree and look – there’s also one with chicken flavour! Sun-Hi likes chicken right? Thank you!” Seungmin placed the plastic plate on her small table and Sun-Hi made a face, looking up at him offended. Seungmin blinked and looked at Felix who bit down on a grin. “It doesn’t even look like dog food this time. Mmm, chicken.” Sun-Hi pushed at the plate and Felix pushed it back towards her. 

“No!” Felix was about to say something but Deok-su interrupted.

“You smell like – Felix, did your heat pass already?” Felix’s eyes met Seungmin’s again before the alpha walked out of the room. He cleared his throat and turned to Doek-su. 

“Yes. It came early, unexpectedly,” Felix said and it was technically not even a lie. “I was too deep in it before I even realised it was happening. I – I wasn't in my right mind, otherwise I'd have called for you.” Now he was lying. Doek-su stared at him for a few seconds, probably trying to gauge if he was being honest. Felix had put on makeup to conceal the marks left behind by Chan’s lips and teeth, and he'd showered the scent of the alpha off his skin a long time ago. There was nothing to give him away. Doek-su just shook his head.

“You spent it alone? Well, that's a waste.” Felix gripped the back of Sun-Hi’s chair tighter. “But maybe next time you'll appreciate me a lot more when I take care of you. Now that you know how painful it can be without your alpha’s cock.” He sounded smug, he sounded like he had taught Felix a lesson. Felix looked at his husband's face and all he could see was his bodyguard pounding into Felix hard and fast, his hands on his body and his teeth into his skin. All he could think about was that he'd finally had an enjoyable heat, with his actual alpha, and didn't want Doek-su touching him ever again. Chan’s dick was bigger too, and he knew how to use it much better, and Felix wondered how his husband would have reacted if Felix told him that.

“Yes,” he drawled instead. “Please don’t use those words around her.” He had to bite his lip to not say anything else, and turned to Sun-Hi again. “Sweet potato puree? Come on, honey.”

—

It took Felix a lot longer than he’d expected to get to talk to Changbin one on one. It was always multiple of them hanging out, he noticed now that he was looking for an opening. Minho, Hyunjin and Felix would gather to dance and Changbin and Jisung would more often than not tag along to watch respectfully or not so. Felix and Jisung baked occasionally, always joined by Jeongin and Seungmin, no matter if they were on shift or not. Hyunjin liked to visit the mansion and play video games with him and the two alphas in the leisure room. Jisung and Changbin would drag him into an omegas’ night in the movie theater, leaving Sun-Hi to Chan’s supervision. Chan was almost always an ever-present part of every hang-out, not leaving Felix’ side. They even got together, all eight of them, on a few occasions and Felix had to admit he loved his friend group. He was so happy to have them and was so glad they all got along so well.

All getting along did mean it was hard to stumble upon Changbin on his own. In the end, it was during one of Jisung’s heats – once again spent with Minho, and this time everyone knew – that Felix straight up asked Chan to bring the man over, claiming he was in need of some omega time. Chan nodded, as if it made a lot of sense to him, and went looking. Felix was also not fully lying, it was nice to spend some time with the guys of his subgender only and he’d gotten used to the weekly omega nights that Jisung organised. Without him there to plan something, Felix decided to take up the initiative.

Changbin came a bit later and helped him put Sun-Hi to sleep, before both of them sat down at the couch and gossiped about the staff at the mansion. “Oh, and there’s word around that Na-rae – like, one of the maids, you’ve probably seen her around cleaning – so Na-rae is definitely screwing someone else from the staff.” Felix’ eyebrows went up and he took a sip from his wine. Their omega nights were always an opportunity for pampering. “We don’t know who, but they’re doing it in the mansion all the time and it’s getting ridiculous. Like, Jeongin himself has caught her with drying jizz on her skirt like three times already.”

“Ew, that’s not hygienic! She’s supposed to clean, not make things dirtier.” Felix looked around, suddenly feeling like he had to check every item. He had a baby living in the mansion!

“I don’t think she’s assigned to your wing, ever, but yeah do keep an eye out,” Changbin said and scanned the room as well. “If one of us catches her in the act, we’ll rat her out to the head of staff and she’ll be out, don’t worry too much about it!”

“Yeah, thank you… Well, I mean, I do have lots of other things to worry about.” Felix took another sip and wondered if that was a good segway. Changbin’s eyebrows rose.

“Oh? Something happen?” Felix bit his lip and shook his head. Nothing had happened with Felix at least.

“Changbin-hyung, I don’t mean to pry, but…” Changbin was already scowling, turning his body to the side, his muscles very obviously flexing under his thin shirt. “It’s just us here, please – if you’re comfortable – can you tell me about your heats?”

“And if I’m not comfortable?” Felix sighed and shrugged.

“Then don’t tell me, I guess. I just – I want to know, I want to help.” Changbin studied his face and then sighed, deflating. 

“There’s nothing to tell. I’m using suppressants, so there’s no heats. I don’t want to have heats,” Changbin said, shifting in his seat again. He looked nervous and Felix bit his lip. He debated with himself for a second and then decided to go for it.

“Binnie, did someone force themselves on you?” Changbin’s whole body froze, his eyes staring ahead and Felix felt like he’d received his confirmation. “Oh God, Binnie, I’m so sorry. Can I hug you?” Changbin still hadn’t moved from his spot and Felix bit his lip, hoping he wasn’t going to get rejected. He felt like Changbin needed it. Felix himself needed it. Changbin didn’t say anything, just continued to avoid his eyes. His hands were clenched in his lap and Felix wondered if he’d fallen into some sort of a flashback that he couldn’t get out of. “Bin?”

“Felix,” Changbin gasped and that was probably the first breath he’d taken in a full minute. His shoulders rose and fell as he panted, but Felix didn’t dare reach out. He watched the man for a few seconds and then licked his lips.

“You’re safe here, Bin. There are five layers of guards out there, no one can get you.” Changbin took a couple of minutes but seemed to calm down slowly and Felix tried to smile at him. “I can’t say I know what you went through,” he began quietly again and then squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He continued quickly, before he changed his mind, “I – For our wedding night, I hadn’t – I hadn’t been with someone before, and I didn’t feel ready to be, and I asked Doek-su to wait, but he didn’t want to. I – Well, we are married, I don’t count it as rape exactly, but… I also didn’t really want to be doing it, you know? Some other times afterwards as well…” All times, more like. Felix felt like his body burned in shame. He’d never openly said any of this to someone. Chan knew, but Chan had been there to pick up the pieces every time Doek-su decided to have fun. His heart was going wild against his ribcage.

“Felix… I didn’t know,” Changbin rasped out and Felix shrugged, feeling like he had to take a few steps back and take back the big accusation.

“I mean, it wasn’t – I’m not saying –”

“It was rape, Lix.” Felix opened his mouth but then Changbin was wrapping himself around him and Felix just whimpered, hugging back tightly and burying his face in the other omega’s neck. He barely had a scent – that was why Felix hadn’t been able to recognise his subgender upon their first meeting, he realised. He wondered if it was a side effect of the suppressants he’d been taking for ten years non-stop. Although his scent was faint, it was calming, soothing, so very caring and omega that Felix found himself on the brink of crying. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Is he still…”

“I mean – it’s not like – he’s not – Doek-su – I – yes,” Felix stammered out and then the tears were streaming down. Changbin held him closer and Felix could hear him sniffle too.

“And Chan-hyung hasn’t done anything? Or does he not know?”

“He, uh, he knows.”

“Well, I can’t believe he’d just stand there and watch this happen! This man’s got a protective streak a mile wide, he’s honestly scary when the people he cares for are messed with!” Felix smiled a little, fully believing that.

“There isn’t much he can do,” Felix whispered and wiped some of his tears. “If he does something Doek-su doesn’t like, he’ll just get fired and – we don’t want that.” Changbin nodded his head and then squeezed him tighter once before pulling away. He looked at his lap and Felix’ hands found his there. “Don’t worry about that though. Please. I’m handling it. And Chan-hyung is helping a lot, too.”

“That’s good… I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I feel like a pussy now,” Changbin admitted with a huff that felt forced and Felix laced their fingers together. That was right, they were there for Changbin and not for Felix’ failed relationship.

“Don’t say that. Bin, what happened?”

Changbin was silent for a while and Felix gave him time. “A bit over ten years ago, I got my heat unexpectedly early, while I was out downtown, walking home after a late evening shift. I used to wait tables at a restaurant,” Changbin paused and took in a deep breath. Felix leaned closer to rub their heads together and Changbin gave him a tight smile. “Someone – I, I still don’t know who that was, just that he was an alpha – just pulled me into his apartment. He – he threw me back out on the street once my heat was over.” Changbin was crying again and Felix’ heart ached. “It was a pretty harsh one and I was blindfolded the whole time, so I didn’t manage to catch his face.”

“Oh, Binnie, I’m so sorry.” Felix hugged him close again and Changbin cried onto his shoulder.

“That’s how I met Chan-hyung,” he said suddenly and laughed through tears. “He saw me on the street, all bloody and sticky and disgusting, and decided he had nothing better to do than help me get home and bring me some easy foods and buy me a pill – one of those post-heat pills that makes sure the heat doesn’t end up in a baby, you know?” Felix nodded, his heart aching for his friend but also warming at Chan’s actions. The alpha was literally perfect. “He gave me his number before he left, said he’s there if I need anything. He also got me in contact with Sungie, for omega support, and the rest is history.”

“And – and you started the suppressants after that,” Felix guessed and Changbin nodded against him.

“I’m not spending another heat with an alpha. I’m not doing anything with an alpha ever again.” Felix rubbed his back and didn’t know what to say. It was fair of the omega to have decided not to share his body with anyone after such an awful act. But the suppressant abuse was concerning.

“Do you think you can maybe… Let your body go through a heat from time to time? Just spending it on your own, no alphas around.” Changbin was shaking his head before he finished speaking and pulling away to wipe at his face.

“Heats attract attention. I’d rather not.” 

“Binnie-hyung…”

“Felix, please don’t. I can’t – I know why you’re concerned. I’ve changed two obgyns in the past ten years, because after a while they stop prescribing the pills. I know there’s dangers, okay?” Changbin ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the cushions, looking small even with all his muscles. Felix remembered him saying he worked out to protect himself and his heart ached more. “But every time I think about having a heat, all I can imagine is pain. And being a sex toy. I can’t, I literally can’t do this. I can’t be vulnerable and I can’t be with an alpha, I’m scared, Felix, I don’t want to – I don’t want him to – I –”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry. No one is forcing you to, okay? He’s not here. You’re safe.” Felix leaned closer and rubbed his arm as Changbin gasped for air.

“Felix, I can’t! You – you get it, don’t you? I can’t do it. I don’t want anyone touching me ever again. I can’t.” Felix bit his lip and nodded, trying to get the man to calm down.

“I get it, Binnie.” He did. He didn’t want Doek-su – or any other alpha like him – anywhere near his body. But… Felix welcomed Chan’s touch. “Maybe, maybe it’s different if there is an alpha that you, uh, really trust to keep you safe.”

“It’s not! There’s many alphas I trust. I trust Chan-hyung,” Changbin started listing and Felix had to purse his lips before a small growl left them. He kept it together, trying not to act irrationally in such an important moment. “But that’d feel like incest at this point. I trust Jeongin, I trust Seungmin, I trust Hyunjin. I do trust Minho-hyung too, but I’m sure Jisung would claw my eyes out if I even breathed in his direction.” They shared a small chuckle and Changbin sighed. “In any case, there’s alphas I trust. And I still can’t imagine ever… doing that.” Felix nodded slowly. Well, a heat didn’t need to have an alpha present. But after ten years a heat was overdue. Felix was astonished the man was still healthy and standing.

“I’d really appreciate it if you considered having a heat, alone, soon. Maybe you can stay in the manor, in my wing. And Chan and Jisung and I will make sure no one steps close. Please think about it.” Changbin opened his mouth and Felix squeezed his hand. “Please, Bin-hyung.” The omega nodded and Felix gave him a smile. “Thank you.”

—

“Mr. Choi, I have your mail. Also, your family’s plane has landed,” his personal assistant said as she opened the door just a nudge and poked her head in. Her anxious omega scent wafted in and Felix almost grimaced. She was permanently worried and stressed, he was often concerned about her mental state. Felix looked up from the diaper he was changing on the desk and waved her off.

“I’ll grab the mail in a bit, thank you,” he tried to say as politely as possible, and turned back to Sun-Hi. “Yes, you’re very flexible, good job, honey.” He had to hurry up. Somehow he’d taken more time than expected on his emails and the weekly online meeting that he always joined, muted himself and let run in the background. His family was already here! Felix wanted to beat them home and be there to greet them to their rooms. Sun-Hi babbled as he wrapped up the diaper change and gathered the baby in his arms. “Can you pass me my – thank you.”

“Always, sir,” Chan said with a blinding smile and Felix smiled back, grabbing also onto his work bag which Chan immediately took from his hand to sling over his own shoulder.

“Oh, maybe you can take the mail? I’ll look through it in the car!” Felix dialed Jisung and balanced the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he started marching out of the room. “Hi, Jisung-hyung. My family’s already in Seoul… How’s the lava cake going?”

“Ah, yes, so. There technically is a cake,” Jisung started and Felix briefly closed his eyes, stopping in place to turn to Chan with a look.

“Is there? Is there really, Jisung?!” Seungmin could be heard in the background.

Chan was looking at the mail, not at Felix, eyebrows furrowed. Felix blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift in the alpha’s scent towards something rotten. Within a second, the bodyguard was looking up and catching his eye, giving him a big smile with dimples, his scent toning down. Felix narrowed his eyes, glancing down at the post, while his friends continued bickering in his ear.

“I’d say there is, yes, Seungmin! Can you make it better?”

“Honestly, Felix-ah, I think you should buy a cake on your way home.”

“Thanks for the support! Look, I said lava cake isn’t my specialty, alright?”

Felix pulled the phone away from his mouth but Chan spoke over him. “Are you ready to go, sir?”

“Is everything okay?” He peered at the letters again, but the bodyguard was keeping them low by his side. Chan shrugged and placed a hand on his lower back to push him forward.

“Of course. Just never ceases to amaze me how much work you have to do, even once the workday is over for you,” the alpha said with a head shake. He didn’t seem to be lying, Felix gauged and nodded slowly. “Jisung screwed up the cake?”

“Oh my God, I didn’t screw up anything! There is a cake! Tell hyung there is technically a cake!”

“Yeah, is there?!”

Felix started walking again and switched to the conversation with his friend, deciding to make a pit stop at the nice bakery across the street before going home. Once in the car, when Chan handed him his weekly post, he found nothing worthy of concern or suspicion, so he allowed his brain to context switch to his family.

They made it to the mansion two full minutes before the limo stopped by the entrance, and Felix gathered Sun-Hi in his arms and almost ran to the door. It had been way too long since he last saw his family. A vlog featuring his mom and sisters was already planned, besides a nice spa day and a fancy romantic dinner for his parents only, while he finished Arcane with his sisters in the home theater.

“Oh, my goodness, she’s grown so much!” his mother exclaimed the moment she stepped outside of the car and Felix grinned proudly, bouncing Sun-Hi in his arms. The older omega looked good, he noted, energetic.

“See, Sun-Hi, grandma’s here! And grandpa, and aunty Rachel and Olivia.” Felix angled her to look in his sisters’ direction and watched in delight as Rachel made a face of disgust.

“Never refer to me that way, ever again!” 

“Aw, aunty Rachel is a bit cranky today,” Olivia teased and Felix joined her laughter as they made it up the stairs. It was good to have them around again.

His family’s visit was mainly to attend Sun-Hi’s first birthday and the big party that was organised in her honor. For someone who did not spend any time with his daughter and didn’t know what a one-year-old’s birthday was supposed to look like, Doek-su insisted on a celebration that included company personnel as guests. In turn, Felix was more than happy to expand the invitation list with Hyunjin and Minho, as well as request Jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin as staff on duty throughout. If Doek-su was allowed to invite irrelevant people, Felix wasn’t going to be shy with insisting actual friendly faces were in attendance too.

Especially with his family and friends all there, Felix felt elated at the party, for once not dreading attending, and prancing between them with Sun-Hi happily. “Come on, just Oli works too. Oh-lee, so simple, no?” Olivia said and Sun-Hi looked at her with a grin. She babbled out something completely different and Rachel snorted.

“I think that was almost a Lucy. Good try, though! Maybe we can rename you instead?” Olivia rolled her eyes and Felix chuckled.

“Mama!”

“Yes, baby, I’m here.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and put her down on the floor so she could look around and stretch her legs. Sun-Hi pulled at his hands to the left and he went along willingly. She hadn’t unlocked walking on her own from the skill tree yet, but with some help from his side, she enjoyed moving around autonomously.

“Don’t even try, I’ve been trying for literal months and she still can’t say my name!” Jisung complained from behind a table, where he was working on making more wraps for snacks.

“You are trying to teach her your full name!” Felix protested and Jisung made a gesture as if asking what was wrong with that. “She’s one, Sungie, she can barely say she's hungry, cut her some slack.”

“I could say my full name by the time I was one,” Jisung boasted. Chan rolled his eyes from the side and at the same time Changbin slapped the back of the other omega’s head.

“And yet you still struggle not to leave oven mitts inside the oven while it’s on. You peaked at one,” the man said in Korean and Felix snorted loudly as Jisung gasped and started complaining back in Korean rapidly.

“They’re special,” Felix translated for his sisters and started walking after Sun-Hi, who decided this group of people wasn’t as exciting anymore. “Oh, come, I want you to meet Hyunjin and Minho.” The language barrier was technically there, between his sisters and the dancers, but Felix could mitigate it and act as translator himself, for once. He grinned proudly at Chan as he relayed Olivia’s words to Minho and the bodyguard nodded in acknowledgment, a small private smile on his lips.

Sun-Hi’s experimentation with walking finally reached its peak when she took a couple of steps on her own, a few days later during breakfast. Thankfully, Jeongin was in the room and could take a video, to share in their friend group chat, where Felix and his daughter received a round of excited messages. His little girl was growing up slowly but surely and Felix couldn’t have been prouder.

Chapter Text

After Chan assisted Felix through his heat, something got unlocked. They stumbled into sex a few more times, and while he thought of it as an accidental stumble, it frankly felt anything but accidental. There were no excuses of pregnancy hormones either, this time around. It was a busy quarter for Doek-su and in his absence, Felix felt bolder, braver. Free to pursue what he wanted. His husband was hell-bent on mistreating him and their daughter, and there was another alpha readily available that made him feel happy, safe and important – of course he was going to give in to his body’s call…

The first time it happened, both Felix and Chan were a little tipsy. They’d just waved off the rest of the gang, and Chan stayed back to help put the baby to sleep. Felix flopped down on his bed, giggly, and watched as the alpha pulled the blanket over his daughter in her crib and adjusted the dim light. He licked his lips. There was something intoxicating about the man, with his big arms and toned back, the way he gently cared for Sun-Hi. The way he protected them, and pampered them. The way he was always there for Felix, always smiling and beautiful and soft, yet a steady rock for Felix to cling to. And when there was a threat, he was also sexy and strong, jaw line set and muscles pumping. Felix squirmed. 

He could remember vividly how it felt, to have the alpha on top of him, in him. To share that heat. Felix bit his lip as Chan finally turned to face him, hair all over the place and a small tipsy smile on his lips. The bodyguard approached the bed, and then it was like a mutual agreement – they both pounced at the same time and met in the middle.

Even if that one tryst could be excused by alcohol, the next time couldn’t. They were fully responsible for their actions, fully awake and not under the influence, as they left the dojo and spent an hour in the car on the backseat with the tinted windows, in the underground parking lot. 

The third time was also very much intentional, in the home cinema, with Sun-Hi sleeping in her crib in Felix’ rooms and the baby monitor on the seat next to where Felix was straddling Chan’s thighs.

It was starting to become a normal occurrence and Felix didn’t fight it. Apart from the fact that they never addressed it outside of sex, this situation was the closest to a healthy relationship – or any kind of intimacy – that he had and he enjoyed it immensely. Chan seemed to like it just as much, because the omega could frequently feel his eyes on his body, and he himself could barely stop staring at the bodyguard’s wide shoulders and thick thighs and… He’d always appreciated the man from afar, but now all pretense of the opposite seemed to have been dropped. On both sides. 

Doek-su did come home from time to time, as if to remind Felix that he wasn’t truly free. His main objective for those brief visits seemed to be bedding Felix, and Felix lay pathetically, quietly, and grit his teeth through it all. What got him through the night were the memories of Chan in bed with him, touching him, praising him, instead of Doek-su forcing him, pushing him around, degrading him and complimenting his own dick.

Chan, Chan, Chan, every part of Felix’ brain that wasn’t occupied by his daughter was dedicated to the alpha. 

Every moment of every day, more or less, was also spent in the presence of the man. Chan was there when they ventured outside of the house, protecting them against the mobs. Chan was there when they visited the office, acting as babysitter for Sun-Hi and rolling his eyes discreetly when meetings Felix attended got too boring, providing Felix with entertainment. Chan was there when they were home, bathing the little girl or watching TV or hanging out with the gang or studying.

Studying… Felix was a little behind on his studies, on finishing his thesis. Having a child, it turned out, meant a big portion of the day was just lost; sucked into a vacuum. His job at the fundraiser didn’t help. But Felix was hoping for only half a year study delay, and tried to work on his thesis as much as physically possible. Having Jisung finish assignments and Chan study for his high school exit exams in the same room was motivating and allowed for body doubling, and Felix knew he was going to make it.

Chan’s exams came and went, and as Felix had expected, the alpha passed with flying colors. The man didn’t say anything on the day he received the news, and Felix wasn’t sure if it was wise to ask, in case that meant failure and Chan preferred to not have it brought up. He didn’t seem crushed, however, didn’t behave differently than usual, so Felix cleared his throat as they drove to the company.

“So… What is the verdict? The exams, I mean,” Felix said stupidly and Chan smiled at him shyly.

“I passed. All of them, I mean,” he said nonchalantly as if discussing the weather. Felix’ eyes widened and he grinned.

“Oh my God, that’s amazing! You can have your diploma now?” Chan nodded, looking down and rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah, just like everyone else out there. Not a big deal,” he said quietly and Felix pursed his lips. Now that wasn’t going to do. The alpha wasn’t allowed to belittle himself and his achievements, not on Felix’ watch. He slapped Chan’s shoulder, making him look at Felix with surprise.

“Yes, it’s a great deal! It’s amazing. I’m so proud of you, Chan-hyung!” He threw himself at Chan for a hug over Sun-Hi’s seat and nuzzled their cheeks together. Chan didn’t react at first but then he wrapped his arms around Felix too and squeezed hard, burying his face into the crook of the omega’s neck. Felix released some soothing pheromones and hugged back tightly, trying to provide as much comfort as he could. Once they separated, Felix caught Changbin’s eye in the rearview mirror and the driver gave him a small nod with a smile. Felix smiled back before turning to Chan again. “We must celebrate!”

“Must we?”

“Yes, yes we must!”

The whole gang got together, each taking a seat in the dining room, with Chan at the head with a paper crown that Felix and Sun-Hi had made on his head. Well, it was mainly Felix that did the making and Sun-Hi that did the destroying which lead to more making, but Felix wasn’t about to tattle on his own daughter. Minho and Seungmin made fun of him for it, but the alpha wore it proudly with a happy glint in his eyes and a small smile whenever he adjusted its placement. He definitely enjoyed it and Felix enjoyed seeing him enjoy it. Felix… Felix was whipped.

“So, are you going to do university now, hyung?” Jeongin asked innocently and Chan’s eyes widened. He shook his head quickly and had to stop his crown from falling.

“I think I’m done with studying. That was enough for a lifetime,” he said and Jisung made a noise of complaint.

“You studied for literally, like, a couple of months! I’ve been busting my ass off with university degrees for almost ten years now!” he said and looked around the table for sympathies. Felix gave him a sad smile while he nodded.

“I feel you.”

“Well, that’s on you though, no?” Changbin said and shrugged. “It’s only you and Felix-ah that want to torture yourselves like this.”

“Interesting that two out of the three omegas here are working on a Master degree, while all the alphas didn’t even get a Bachelor’s,” Jeongin mused and Hyunjin raised an eyebrow.

“Excuse me? I’m an art major,” he said, looking pinched, and Seungmin snorted.

“So yeah, as I said, only the omegas are studying,” he snarked and Felix held in a sigh while fighting a grin. Here they went again. Minho met his gaze and demonstratively rolled his eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” 

“Hey, no insulting the most beautiful person on this table,” Changbin interrupted.

“Oh, is that so?” Hyunjin asked and smirked as he put his arm around Changbin’s shoulder. The omega’s mouth fell open and his cheeks darkened immediately. “Alright, then. Not studying, but still scoring all the omegas.”

“Don’t touch him and don’t talk about him like that,” Seungmin said, leaning around Changbin to glare at Hyunjin. Changbin glared back. Jeongin put a hand on the other alpha’s shoulder and Felix turned to Chan, who was watching unimpressed.

“Like what? Maybe I’m interested too.”

“Are you? Are you really? Because if not, leave him. There’s for sure people who are actually interested,” Jeongin piped in, turning on Hyunjin too.

“Innie, are you interested? I thought the two of us have something special going,” Hyunjin drawled and Seungmin growled at him, getting up and hiding Jeongin from the other alpha’s view. Hyunjin stood up too, looking a lot more relaxed and playful.

“O wow, Binnie-hyung, you’ve got alphas fighting over you. How’s that feel?” Jisung whispered loudly across the table. Changbin rolled his eyes, throat closing up as he watched the alphas clash.

“You also want alphas fighting over you, Jisung-ah? Am I not enough for you?” Minho asked with a smirk and Jisung’s eyes widened. He started sputtering but didn’t get to reply –

“Okay, enough. Children, sit back down,” Chan said loudly and got up himself. Felix shushed Sun-Hi in her high chair and stared up at the alpha. He smelled annoyed and looked imposing. The others took their seats again, mumbling and looking down. “You four – if you want to… rub uglies, there’s enough guestrooms down the hall. Stop arguing, Felix-ah has organised a nice dinner party for all of us to have fun, not to flirt and bicker.”

There was silence for a full minute until Sun-Hi pointed at Chan. “Ani, ani,” she said, accompanied with a lot of blabber. Felix kissed her head as Chan took his seat again and grinned at her, coming closer to pretend to eat her hand. His scent was back to normal and Felix turned to the rest, leaving his giggling daughter to the alpha. 

“Anyway, what do you guys think of the ramen? Jisung-hyung made it all by himself this time!” he said and grinned at Jisung, who raised his glass at him in a toast.

“I’d say it’s pretty good,” the cook said, chest puffing out.

“It hasn’t killed me yet,” Minho said with a pointed look and Jisung pouted.

“Please, jagiya,” he wined lowly but Felix and everyone else on the table heard it, “I don’t want alphas fighting over me, I promise!” Minho’s lips were twitching upwards.

“Worst ramen of 2024,” Seungmin stated then and Jisung gasped, turning to face him. Hyunjin laughed out loud, clapping his hands and pointing at the other alpha.

“What he said!”

“You’re all such awful people! What do you mean worst ramen!? You had absolutely no complaints until Felix said I made it, I hate you all! Hyung, did you hear that?!” Jisung looked wide eyed, heated, at Chan, who shielded his eyes to pretend he couldn’t see them and took a sip from his glass.

Felix laughed while Changbin shook his head. “Even dad doesn’t want to defend you, how’s that feel?” Jisung slapped his arm and Felix laughed harder. 

—

Chan did join Felix in the studio like he had promised and the delight on Felix’ face was even more worthwhile than the actual enjoyment he’d gotten out of dancing again. He had been happy just watching Felix, Hyunjin and Minho dance for a long time, and hadn’t even once thought to join them. But now that he did, he was more than glad. 

It only took them a couple of hours to get Chan up to speed with one particular choreography of a BTS song that he had used to dance to in his training days too, and then all four were dancing to it as if they’d done so millions of times before. Chan found himself enjoying that time a lot more than he’d expected and knew he was more likely to join them at Felix’ next visit to the studio, too. 

“Wait, guys, stop!” Seungmin called out and Chan was lucky he was already half-facing that way because he immediately took note of Sun-Hi waddling towards them. He broke away from the formation and scooped her up in the last moment before Hyunjin almost stomped on top of her. The other alpha did realise there was a human below him and he moved backwards, stumbling over his own feet, and Chan reached out to grab his shirt and steady him. Felix ran over to scent Sun-Hi while Minho went to turn off the music.

“Oh my god, Sun-Hi, you okay? You scared me!” 

“Ah, sorry, Felix, I didn’t see her,” Hyunjin said and Felix smiled at him.

“Nothing happened, don’t worry about it.”

“You two were supposed to watch her,” Chan snapped at Seungmin and Changbin who finally made it over. He gripped the little girl tighter and she reached out to grab his jaw.

“Ani! Mama dan,” she told him and he looked down at her with a small smile. He kissed her hand and then her head.

“Yes, mama dances very well, right honey?” He passed her on to Felix and she continued blabbering but he leveled his friends with a glare. Changbin smelled of anxiety and made himself small, Seungmin taking a step sideways to keep him behind his body. Chan just knew that the omega had been too busy staring at Hyunjin to pay attention. He turned to Seungmin whose lips were pursed. The alpha at least was usually responsible. “What the –?”

“She’s faster than she looks, okay?” Seungmin defended and Chan growled at him.

“Hyung, it’s okay, nothing happened,” Felix said softly from behind and Chan shook his head before stomping away to grab a water bottle. They were supposed to keep her occupied and make sure she didn’t get herself hurt. Not let her run into the dance floor where four adults were jumping around. “Don’t worry about it, she just loves being a troublemaker. Sun-Hi, don’t go running off like that, okay? You could have gotten hurt. There could have been an ouchie. You don’t like ouchie, no?”

Chan watched from afar as Sun-Hi shook her head. “Ouchie no.”

“You should listen to uncle Binnie and uncle Minnie, right?” Felix bounced her in his arms and turned her around to face the two. 

“Uncle Binnie and Minnie should also listen,” Chan said loudly and Sun-Hi turned to look at him.

“Ani!” She tried to get out of Felix’ arms and Felix chuckled before putting her down.

“You can dance more, Lix,” Chan said as he the little girl slammed into his legs and he grabbed her with one hand to put her at his hip. He brought over another water bottle and nodded at Minho. “You almost did the split this time! Really good.” Minho smirked and nodded.

“Of course, we’re the best!” Hyunjin bragged and Chan huffed with a small smile.

“Woff?” 

“It’s here!” Changbin said as he handed her the stuffed wolf. Felix gave Chan one last look and Chan nodded in encouragement before he left the dance floor to join the sidelines with his friends. Once the music was on and Sun-Hi was content to sit on his lap with Wolf Chan and the yet unnamed bunny and piggy plushies, Chan looked at Seungmin again.

“Chan-hyung, come on. We’re sorry. It happens. You reacted and nothing went wrong, though!” Changbin said and tapped his shoulder. Chan shook his head.

“And what if I didn’t react and instead just jumped on top of her? She’s one year old, she can literally be tramped over to death! You have to be more careful.” Sun-Hi looked up at him, holding out one of her toys, and Chan smiled at her before taking it and hugging it to his face. She grinned.

“You sound like an overprotective dad,” Seungmin said then and Chan turned to glare at him harder. “Hyung, don’t get angry but… She’s not yours, you know that right?” Chan blinked stupidly at that statement and his arm tightened around the little girl in his lap. 

“Of course I know that,” he snapped, harsher than he’d intended to and Seungmin flinched back. Chan grit his teeth and looked away for a second before turning to him with an apologetic look. “Sorry. It’s – she’s my charge as much as Felix is. I’m not letting anything bad happen to her.”

Changbin and Seungmin shared a look and Changbin moved to sit closer on the floor, his back to the three dancing men. “Chan-hyung, I think what Minnie means… We’re glad you’re happy around Felix and Sun-Hi, we are, but you’re – He is married, you know? You have to be aware at this point that you three are acting like a literal family. Yes, some of it is because you’re their bodyguard but… Spending Felix’ heats together and putting Sun-Hi to sleep, changing her diapers, playing with her like this – that’s not really a bodyguard’s job.”

“We’re not a family,” Chan said with an eye roll. Despite how much he wished they were, he knew that was just delusional and he had to go touch grass. “You know how Choi is. Felix needs support, that’s all.”

“And all of us are here to give him that, hyung. All of us want to make sure he’s safe and well, Sun-Hi too. What you do is way more though. You don’t see me helping him with his heats, do you?” Seungmin asked and Chan growled low in his chest.

“You better not,” he hissed and Seungmin put his hands in the air. Sun-Hi looked up at him with wide eyes and he leaned down to bump their noses together, forcing his scent to calm. She tried to grab onto his face and keep him there and he continued nuzzling her with a soft smile. The moment she lost interest, Chan turned to his friends who were looking at him with pity.

“We just don’t want you to get hurt, hyung,” Changbin said softly and Chan sighed.

“Look, I’m not stupid. I know I’m not her father, I know I’m just the bodyguard, okay? I don’t have any illusions. I’m helping out and that’s it.”

Felix was married to an affluent man and while there was no love in the marriage, he was provided with everything he needed. He had a child with that bastard and he was growing his online empire, he could get educated even further, and had time to spend on his hobbies and money to spend on his family. Felix had a lot more now than what Chan could ever offer him, and Chan wasn’t going to lie to either of them about that. The omega was well-taken care of – in the absence of his husband, so in the majority of cases – and what he lacked in terms of a support group, help with his baby and physical affection, Chan could provide willingly and enthusiastically. So what if that meant nothing? Changed nothing? Chan had long ago made peace with the fact that he wasn’t meant to be someone’s partner and a parent. This, whatever this was with Felix, was more than he had ever expected to get and he was going to cling to it for dear life. 

—

Felix threw up in the trashcan in the office, not quick enough to run out of the room. The moment he was done, he sighed and accepted the offered napkin by Doek-su’s secretary with a quiet thanks. “I think the sushi from earlier was iffy,” he said with a weak huff and Doek-su spared him a glance from the laptop.

“Or you’re pregnant again,” he said with a mocking smirk, clearly joking, but Felix froze in place.

He visited the pharmacy with Chan on the way home and asked the live-in nanny to look after Sun-Hi for an hour. Then he peed on a few sticks and let Chan into the bathroom to pace with him. Well, Felix was the only one doing the pacing while Chan tried to get him to settle down. “It’s been fifteen minutes,” Chan announced suddenly and Felix put his hands over his face. He didn’t want to look at the results. One glance at the alpha’s apologetic face told him enough, however.

He was pregnant. Again.

Felix took in a deep breath and released it slowly, leaning against the wall and trying to keep calm. He met Chan’s eyes and the alpha was standing still, looking spooked, probably waiting for Felix’ reaction to choose how to act himself. The room was silent for a long minute, their gazes not wavering. “Hyung… Are you sure you’re sterile?” Felix asked in the end with calmness he didn’t feel. Chan blinked twice. 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be mean, I promise you. I just – Chan, I spent my last heat with you. Only with you.” Chan swallowed, taking a step back. 

“You’ve had sex with Choi in the past couple of months too.” 

“The chance of a male omega getting pregnant outside of heat has, like, multiple zeros after the decimal point. You know it’s virtually impossible,” Felix pointed out, his heart hammering against his ribcage. 

“The other thing is also impossible,” Chan said with a shake of his head and took another step backwards. “Your husband himself had me tested in a fancy private clinic, okay? I know I’m sterile for sure, Felix.” Felix blinked and forgot momentarily about the current issue at hand. 

“What? Doek-su? Why?” Chan sighed and leaned against the counter, hands gripping it. 

“His ex-wife’s previous security detail was getting too excited about working with an omega. That’s why he was looking to hire someone new. I think he was also not expecting me to last long, but her heat hit and nothing happened. He asked about it and I told him about my lack of ruts. I’ve been to a few doctors over the years, obviously, but they all said it was nothing to worry too much about, as long as, you know, I could get it up. Choi, though, he decided to get me tested, make sure I’m in normal health conditions. The results said I’m sterile.” He licked his lips, looking to the side and – there were tears in his eyes, Felix realised. “Lix, belive me, I wish I could –” He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “There’s nothing to discuss here, just know that it can’t be me. Felix – you’re pregnant, what… what are you thinking?”

Felix couldn’t help but feel bitter disappointment and bit his lip, hugging himself. For a moment, he’d allowed himself to hope. Maybe the baby was Chan’s and – and what? It wasn’t like they were going to run off into the sunset with Sun-hi and the baby with Doek-su waving them off. But for that brief moment, Felix had hoped. Had felt like finding out about a pregnancy was just a nice part of life, and not something he had to think hard about to figure out where he stood.

“I – I don’t know. I wish it was yours.” He put a hand over his eyes, feeling ready to cry for so many reasons. Simplest one being – why did he say that out loud? But more importantly: he was pregnant. With the child of a husband he detested, who barely spared a glance at their already existing daughter. He had just reverted back to his dancing schedule, he was only twenty-five and about to have a second child. Was his whole life going to revolve around pushing babies out? 

There was a touch on his shoulder and he startled but then threw his arms around Chan’s shoulders. Chan hugged him back, burying his face in Felix’ neck and scent. “I wish so too,” the alpha mumbled against him and that was enough to send Felix crying. “I’m sorry, love.” Felix shook his head – Chan didn’t have anything to be sorry about! Chan was perfect, Chan was always there for him. Chan was everything. 

“You – you will still protect the baby right?” Felix mumbled and moved away to look him in the eyes. 

“Always,” Chan promised and Felix smiled, looking down at his lips. Chan licked them at that time and Felix looked up at his eyes only to find Chan already leaning in. He closed the distance himself and then they were kissing. 

That same evening, Felix was dining with Doek-su and Sun-Hi and decided to keep quiet. He wasn’t going to try sneaking behind his husband in an attempt to abort the baby again, he had learned his lesson. But he did wish to have some more time to himself with the idea. Get accustomed to it before he broke it to Doek-su, who was inevitably going to ruin his mood over it.

“So I heard you got some pregnancy tests?” Felix froze with the fork halfway to his mouth. He put it down, no longer that hungry. He wondered who was it that ratted him out – either the nanny, who had seen the pharmacy bag in his hands when he left Sun-Hi with her, or that one maid that kept showing up all around the manor. Felix suspected she was crushing on Doek-su, and he wouldn’t have cared about it, if how openly she did it in front of him and even guests wasn’t just incredibly disrespectful. 

“Yes. I’m pregnant,” he admitted quietly. There was no point in lying. Doek-su grinned.

“Well, that’s some great news!” He raised his wine glass in Felix’ direction before downing it in one go. Felix gave him a tight smile before turning to Sun-Hi to scoop some of her puree and try to force it past her lips. “That’s curious though – you spent your last heat alone.” 

Felix swallowed hard and pretended to be busy with his daughter so he didn’t have to face his husband. He felt sweat drip down his neck. Was Doek-su going to accuse him of cheating? Petrified, he met Jeongin’s eyes from across the room. The alpha was looking back at him with a frown, obviously worried, eyes flickering between Felix and his husband. Felix swallowed and turned to Doek-su. While he had indeed cheated, the baby was still Doek-su’s, so he begged all deities to not have him find out.

His husband grinned suddenly and laughed. “Do you feel lucky, Felix? To be with such a virile and potent alpha. Do you know how rare it is for a male omega to get pregnant outside of a heat?” Felix wasn’t even bothered by the stupidly arrogant and eye-roll-worthy remark. He could only let out a sigh of relief silently, exchanging another glance with Jeongin who was clutching his chest, looking just as relieved behind Doek-su. “I think that’s a sign. It’s going to be a boy this time.” At that, Felix immediately turned to Sun-Hi who was blabbering quietly and smearing the puree around on the plastic plate. He grit his teeth, feeling awful on her behalf, for how unloved she was by her father.

“Potato, yes, correct,” he told her with a smile while she repeatedly sang the abbreviated word and slammed her hands on the plate. She grinned at him, her left cheek dimpling adorably.

“Mama, tato!”

“Sun-Hi, are you going to share your toys with your brother, huh?” Doek-su asked and while Felix was happy he at least addressed her that evening – he didn’t always – he didn’t appreciate his husband continuing with this topic. Sun-Hi seemed to not like it either. Her smile fell off as she looked at Doek-su, her eyebrows furrowing. She stared at him for a while and then turned to Felix again.

“Mama tato!” She pointed at him.

“Yes, I’m a potato, sure.” He chuckled and fixed her clip, keeping her hair out of her eyes.

“Well, someone needs to learn to share,” Doek-su commented, going back to his dinner and Felix grit his teeth, glaring. The alpha and his mere presence grated on his nerves.

—

Felix wanted to tell his friends about the baby, announce it properly and surprise them like he hadn’t been able to previously because of how fast their gossip spread, so not too long after finding out, he organised a small get together in the leisure room on a day Doek-su was abroad. 

“Seungmin said you shouldn’t count on him putting your shoes on for you this time!” Jeongin announced loudly with a grin as he entered the room, the other alpha in question trailing closely behind. Seungmin rolled his eyes while Felix frowned – what did he mean by that?

“Don’t start with that, Innie,” Seungmin said and finally faced Felix. “Congratulations! I’m happy for you. But I’m not tying your shoes for you again!”

“What the – Jeongin!” 

“Oh, sorry, was it supposed to be a secret?” the boy asked, grinning sheepishly with his cute dimples that Felix couldn’t stay mad at. He sighed.

“Thank you, Minnie,” Felix said with a small smile and turned to face Jisung, who was walking slowly into the room, holding a tray of what smelled like banana bread – Felix’ mouth watered. God, he craved banana bread so much. Having a cook friend was such a blessing at times.

“Felix! I’m so happy for you, look what I’ve baked to celebrate! Baby number two; let’s goo!” Jisung sang as he stepped closer and shoved the tray in Felix’ face. The moment he processed the omega’s words, Felix forgot about the delicious treat he’d brought. 

“Jeongin!” he snapped, feeling betrayed. Did his friend just tell everyone else already?

“What? What did I – oh, no! I haven’t told Jisung-hyung! I swear, Felix.” Felix turned to Jisung, who was grinning wide unashamed.

“Yeah, no, I overheard them talking,” Jisung said quickly and turned around towards the door. “Changbin, are you coming already?” He faced Felix again with a shrug. “He’s bringing the plates and forks.” Felix sighed. So Changbin knew too; of course he did, Jisung was a gossip. 

“Okay, well – thanks – but please don’t tell the other two, I’d like to tell them myself,” Felix said, feeling defeated, and Jisung chuckled.

“Yeah… I already told Minho-hyung,” he admitted and Felix closed his eyes. “He’s bringing balloons with Hyunjin. They should’ve come already, but there’s traffic.” So much for a surprising announcement. Felix sighed again and chuckled.

His friends were absolute gossips. But he loved them anyway. “I smell banana bread?”

Chan joined with Sun-Hi on his hip, a couple of colorful clips in his hair matching Sun-Hi’s that Felix knew his daughter had insisted on. Soon after Minho and Hyunjin did arrive, bearing a bunch of pink balloons – “We don’t know the gender yet, but at least Sun-Hi can enjoy them!” “You shouldn’t be imposing gender norms on Felix’ children! She can like any color, even blue!” “Why single out blue like that, hm, Jisung-ah?” – They had a good time talking and laughing, and everyone took turns hugging Felix which in the end brought tears to his eyes. He had a steady loving family in Seoul – who would have thought! They were all happy and supportive of the baby, and Felix couldn’t be more thankful for their presence.

For once, Doek-su showed his support too and joined for the first check-in with the obgyn the following week. The due date was determined and then the woman used the ultrasound machine. The moment Felix’ eyes landed on the tiny blob in the middle, barely sticking out against the background noise, he started crying. 

Memories flashed in front of his eyes, of all the milestones he’d lived through with Sun-Hi. The sonograms, hearing her heartbeat, feeling her kick, holding her in his arms, seeing her lift her head on her own, crawl, walk, call him “mama” for the first time… Felix was ready and excited to embark on that journey again.

He looked at Doek-su, who seemed less passive and more engaged than usual, staring at the small screen with his arms crossed. Felix wished Chan was present in the room, the person who rubbed his feet when the pregnancy weight got too much, and put his daughter to sleep when he was tired, and took care of them more than anyone else did. Instead the negligent alpha that he shared the house with was there.

Felix held in a sigh and grit his teeth, offering his hand for a squeeze to the man. He wasn’t going to be petty in front of his kids, even if said kids were still in the womb. Doek-su was an absentee father, but he was their father. Felix had to try, for the children. Who knew, perhaps with baby number two, Doek-su was going to be more involved. Maybe they could be a team that raised these two children! He didn’t count on it but with his husband grabbing his hand back and giving him a small smile, he held onto hope naively and baselessly once again.

Felix requested multiple pictures, and didn’t even pretend one of them wasn’t for Chan’s wallet.

His family was next to know. His mother squealed and told him some good news back: she was stopping chemotherapy, in a stable enough condition to do without! Felix cried with happiness for the millionth time within the span of a week and thought that maybe life was sometimes good.

Chapter Text

The high that had come with Doek-su attending the first ultrasound appointment – well, not really a high, more a moderate blip in the flatline – went back down within days, reaching rock bottom when he decided to skip Sun-Hi’s check-in.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Choi, but, uh, Mr. Choi is very busy currently and cannot take any calls. His meetings are done at 17:30 today and he has a no interrupt policy until then – should I relay something to him once he is free?” Felix closed his eyes and let out a slow breath.

“No, thank you. I’ll speak to him at home. Have a nice day.” Felix hung up and met Chan’s eyes from where the alpha was sitting with Sun-Hi on the couch across the room. “I had to be told by his assistant that he’s not coming to his daughter’s doctor appointment!” Felix laughed out of desperation and shook his head. “I can’t believe him sometimes.”

“With all due respect, Lix, Choi’s full of horse excrement,” Chan said and Felix snorted with a nod as he flopped down on the armchair by the couch. “He doesn’t talk to Sun-Hi, doesn’t go to her appointments, barely looks at her. He’s the worst father I’ve met and the only other father I have experience with left for no reason and never called.” Felix looked at him with sympathy and reached out to squeeze the alpha’s hand, opening his mouth – but Chan continued, “No, it’s fine, sweetheart, I don’t care about that. It’s just – gah – Choi makes me so – so angry!”

His scent was indeed souring, his eyebrows narrowed in displeasure. “It’s alright, hyung. Don’t bother yourself with it too much. He’s barely here anyway, he barely bothers me –”

“But that’s the problem, Felix! He has a kid, he has a mate. He’s not supposed to treat you both like a chore he does once a month,” Chan said, voice rising. Felix pursed his lips and looked down. “He has a beautiful family, expecting a second kid even, and what does he do? Either work, or belittle you and force himself on –”

“Let’s – let’s not have this discussion in front of her please?” Felix asked quietly but hotly and met the alpha’s eyes. Chan closed his mouth and nodded, but his jaw was clenched. Felix looked at his daughter, searching for a change of topic. He was just as angry – more, in fact – at his husband who did nothing and neglected their child and marriage. But he didn’t want to get in an argument with his biggest ally, and especially not with Sun-Hi absorbing it all like a sponge.

Speaking of the little girl, she was licking an essentially empty spoon excitedly, like a puppy looking for one last particle of food on their human’s hand. Chan noticed and scooped another small serving of ice cream before Sun-Hi grabbed his hand and pulled it closer, immediately latching onto the sweetness.

“You’ll turn her into an addict,” Felix said and huffed.

“It’s her first time having ice cream, of course she’s excited! I won’t let it get to addiction, don’t worry,” Chan assured and offered a lopsided grin. The tense conversation from a minute ago was already forgotten.

Felix didn’t forget his husband’s negligent behaviour, however, and he decided to riot against him by not showing up at the firm. If there was one thing that Doek-su cared about and was going to notice, it was work – and specifically Felix not doing work. Felix didn’t plan on fully abandoning his duties, just skipping a few unimportant meetings and rescheduling a few others.

“Your work mail has been delivered, Mr.Choi,” a staff member said into the intercom and Felix felt slightly bad for not knowing their name. He got up with a sigh.

“Wait, I’ll get it,” Chan said with a hand on his arm and got up quickly.

“No, no, I was going to tell them to bring it over, hyung. You can –”

“Don’t worry, I’m on it.”

“You can just tell her to br –”

“I’m up already, I’ll bring it. I can spare her the walking over,” Chan interrupted with a charming smile and pressed a kiss on Felix’ cheek. Felix flushed and cleared his throat, going back down to his seat. These kinds of signs of affection between them were becoming more and more common, but they did still take him aback consistently. Especially since they happened frequently and went unaddressed. 

They never mentioned the small touches or kisses or warm embraces. They never mentioned Chan's permanent fixture by his and Sun-Hi’s side or their… friendly behavior towards each other. They never mentioned the sex, or the mutual admission of wishing the baby was theirs. They never mentioned what all of that meant. There was so much that was left unspoken, and Felix doubted it was ever going to be vocalised. He was trapped in a cage, his personal flesh prison, and there was no going out. There was no use in talking fantasies when all they were ever going to remain was that – fantasies.

Felix didn’t like following this depressing train of thought, so he did his best to pretend the problem wasn’t there. Because that had worked out so well for him in the past…

Sighing, Felix realised that the alpha was already out of the room in pursuit of his mail. Felix frowned. Well, that was atypical.

Felix waited a beat, then two, then got up. He spared a look in Sun-Hi’s direction, where she was dozing in her crib, before following Chan out. The moment he approached the living room, he picked up on hissed words that were just below the threshold for what he could discern. Then there was silence just as he rounded into the open space. Chan flipped around swiftly, one of his hands behind him but then he brought it around empty. He was holding a stack of letters in his other hand. 

“Felix! Sir. I have your mail,” Chan said as he started making his way closer. Felix narrowed his eyes, looking at the maid behind him with suspicion. She had her head bowed and hands clasped behind her back timidly. Felix met Chan’s eyes that betrayed nothing.

“What was that about, hyung?” Felix asked quietly as they headed back towards his rooms. Chan placed a hand on his lower back and guided him out.

“What was what? I just wanted to bring you the mail so you don’t have to walk around. And so the staff doesn’t have to go out of their way.” Felix scanned his face and nodded slowly. The alpha was acting weird, not for the first time too. “Anyway, you once again have fan mail!” The alpha lifted the stack of letters to Felix’ face and a pink glittery envelope caught his eye. Felix huffed.

“They’re too sweet, I swear.” His curiousity was now piqued. “Let me, I wanna see!”

His fans were continuing with the overwhelming support. He’d released a video confirming the pregnancy just last week – with Sun-Hi announcing “beh-bi!” excitedly – and the amount of attention both from the media and from people online was overwhelming. Staying in the mansion for those couple of weeks was turning out to have the added benefit of avoiding crowds. 

The only thing he went out for was visiting Dance!Dance!, which Felix tried to do as much as possible while he still could. The dancing sessions were slightly shorter, at least for him, but he didn’t mind as much as long as he got to move his body to some music and then watch his talented friends do even more of that. The visits usually ended up with them sharing a cup of noodles or going into the city, and quality time with friends was always welcome, too.

“She’s stopping the chemo?” Minho repeated and Felix nodded with a grin.

“Yes! I’m so glad for it. It was really taking its toll. They say in her current state, she’ll be just as stable with chemo as she’d be without. She’s feeling better, she says!” Felix was extremely grateful for her health stabilising. It wasn’t remission, not yet, but it was a step in that direction. 

“I’m so happy for you, Lixie,” Hyunjin said and half-embraced him.

“Yeah, congrats! That’s some great news!” Minho joined in from the other side and Felix closed his eyes, happily basking into their comforting alpha scents. 

“Well, I say we get you some new makeup for her feeling-better party.” Hyunjin pulled him towards the rows of eye shadow palettes. 

“Feeling-better party?”

“Are you not going to throw the lady a feeling-better party?!” 

“I… I guess I am!” Now that Hyunjin mentioned it, it sounded like a great idea! Felix could visit his family briefly, before he started getting too round with the baby to be allowed to fly. He looked at Chan who smiled and he smiled, too. 

“Ah, Minho-hyung, this lipstick will compliment your complexion so prettily when you go red as a tomato around Jisung-ah,” Hyunjin said and Minho glared, picking up an eye liner.

“Ah, Hyunjinnie, this eye liner brush will look so good shoved into your eye!” He made a step forward and Hyunjin jumped backwards immediately, going behind Chan and giggling madly. Felix chuckled and moved closer to take a look at the products. 

He already had a bunch of makeup essentials. He didn’t really need anything new. A pretty pink called to him and Felix guiltily eyed the pastel themed palette. He liked it, the colors would have fitted his baggy black-pink jeans so well. And that one shirt he got from Louis Vuitton. “You should get it,” Chan said quietly from behind and Felix shook his head, stepping back.

“Not really, I won’t be using it anyway,” he said with a strained smile.

“Such nice colors though. They’ll fit your skin color and hair so well. Right, Hyunjin?”

“What? Oh, those look great! I think they’d be great for you, Lix.”

“Isn’t pink your favourite color? Just get it,” Minho said with a shrug. “You’re rich, you can afford it, even if you’re not gonna use it often.”

Felix bit his lip and nodded, reaching out for the palette. “Nice,” Chan said with a grin and Felix smiled back.

In the end, his riot was mostly successful, with Doek-su telling him, unhappily, “You’ve been neglecting work,” over dinner. Felix raised his chin and stopped cutting into his steak. The alpha had been neglecting his daughter, so he was one to speak!

“I’ve been busy with Sun-Hi. She requires quite some attention, and I’m trying to give her the attention of two people.” Doek-su met his eyes and lifted his wine glass for a sip. They stared at each other.

“Are you trying to tell me something, Felix?”

“I’m not trying. I’m telling you: Sun-Hi needs you to be around more. Please,” he added when the alpha’s gaze turned colder. “She’s a growing child, she needs both of her parents. Both her and the baby need you to be around more. The doctor is adamant about the positive effects of the sire’s pheromones on children during early childhood.” Doek-su seemed to lose interest in the conversation, going back to his meal and double-tapping his phone to look at emails, most likely. Felix held in an enraged yell. “I’d be able to dedicate more time to work, if you could spend some more time with her,” Felix continued. It wasn’t even an unreasonable request! Felix waited with baited breath.

“Or if you were to leave her more with Sun-Bae.” That was all he had to say?! Felix grit his teeth and cut into his steak with more force than previously.

“I want us to have lunch together during the weekends,” he announced, not leaving any room for argumentation. “We are married and have a child. You barely spend any time with us, and often dinners are scheduled quite late, after Sun-Hi’s bedtime.” Just like that night. “This way, you can see us at lunch time on a non-working day, when you should be free anyways, so no delays or schedule disruptions happen. It’s for the good of this family, Doek-su. Even the doctor can back this up.” Felix had rehearsed his speech in front of Chan multiple times that day so he delivered it without his voice trembling. 

Doek-su looked at him once, their gazes holding for a few seconds, and Felix stood his ground. “Alright then.”

—

This time around, surprisingly, Doek-su joined for the second obgyn appointment and Felix wondered if their conversation had been what pushed him into it. Wondered if his husband was actually going to act like a responsible and caring father, now that there were going to be two little humans running around the mansion. “I have a feeling it’ll be a boy,” Doek-su said as he entered the limo after Felix and Felix held in a sigh. Or he was suddenly invested because he hoped to get his perfect male heir. Either way, he did seem involved now and Felix was going to make sure he started showing Sun-Hi more attention, too. 

His husband insisted on going with his personal bodyguards only and Felix missed Chan’s presence already before they’d even driven past the outer gates. The ride there went silently, with Doek-su on his phone doing business, and Felix munching on the mozzarella sticks he’d brought from the kitchens – Jisung was the best, providing him with road-trip snacks. The first part of the appointment went smoothly, with Felix answering some questions and getting measured.

“You’ve gained a lot, a full 2.5 kilograms,” the doctor announced and Felix flushed, feeling ashamed. He never gained that much between appointments while he was carrying Sun-Hi.

“Must be all those mozzarella sticks you keep carrying around,” Doek-su piped in unhelpfully and Felix couldn’t help himself from sending him a glare as he got off the scales. The alpha seemed to realise he said something offensive, because he looked at his watch, pretending to be busy. Felix sighed. He was snacking a lot more than last time, that was true.

“Is that bad for the baby?”

“Every pregnancy is different,” the doctor said and pointed towards the stirrups for Felix to sit. “But it might be wise to keep an eye on it, for your and your baby’s health. If you gain too much, there can be delivery complications and subsequent adverse consequences for you, such as gestational diabetes or hypertension.” Felix didn’t fully know what those meant, but illness names scared him and he swallowed hard as he laid down. He had to tone down the snacking. Right. “I don’t want to worry you now for nothing, you’re still within the norm, but I think you should make sure you don’t get out of that norm. About 12-13 kilograms in total is how much you’d gain on average for a normal pregnancy.” 

She did the ultrasound next, showing him the baby and Felix smiled at the big blob. It looked a lot more developed than last time, but simultaneously Felix could barely make it out. It was dark in there, he thought with a chuckle. Doek-su was now paying full attention again, coming to stand close by.

“It’s… a bit hard to tell the gender.” She moved the wand around some more. “It’s in the right position and yet… Hm. I believe it’s probably a boy.” Doek-su was visibly satisfied by that announcement, coming even closer to grab Felix’ hand and kiss him on the mouth. Felix didn’t kiss back, feeling overwhelmed.

“See? I told you it’s going to be a boy. Good job, beautiful.” Felix smiled back tightly and absently agreed on the current display being good enough for taking the pictures. He was happy, of course he was happy that his child was developing well and he was going to have a baby boy. But Doek-su’s reaction – the stark contrast with his lack of reaction when it came to Sun-Hi – didn’t let him enjoy any of it.

“And now the heartbeat,” the doctor said as she turned up the volume to the speakers. Felix tried to tune back in and frowned a little at the noisy sound.

“Is it – it doesn’t sound normal,” he whispered and looked at the doctor with pleading eyes. He had a recording of Sun-Hi’s heartbeat which he sometimes played when he felt stressed out and exhausted. He knew what a healthy baby’s heart was supposed to sound like.

“Not exactly,” she said quietly and seemed to be listening very closely while looking at something on the screen. “I can’t say for certain yet, you’d have to come again in a few weeks for a confirmation, but it’s possible that your baby will have a heart murmur. That could be nothing and go away on its own, but it could also be an indicator of a heart disease. But nothing to worry for now – we’ll keep an eye on it!”

Felix nodded slowly, feeling petrified and already thinking about the worst possible outcomes. “Nothing to worry about” never lead to less worries, only fueled them, and Felix felt justified in his anxiety. His baby could have a heart disease!

Later that afternoon, Felix was putting on Sun-Hi’s cardigan while their bodyguard looked over the sonograms. “So a boy, huh?” Chan asked with a huff and Felix smiled a little when he noticed the alpha was grinning.

“Yeah. Doek-su was really happy about it…”

“Choi can go bother the trout population,” Chan said heatedly and Felix had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from laughing at how creatively PG the man was around his daughter. “Are you happy is the question?”

Felix was quiet for a few seconds and then gave Chan a smile. “I’m having a baby boy, hyung,” he whispered as Chan came closer and knelt on the ground next to them. The alpha smiled and caressed his cheek gently.

“Yeah, sunshine, you are. And he’ll be so lucky to have you.” Felix pulled away and helped Sun-Hi pick up the dinosaur toy from the floor.

“Not really. I’m already screwing up. He most likely has a heart disease… And I’m gaining too much. Might make his delivery complicated.” Chan cupped his cheeks and moved his face around but Felix avoided his eyes. Felix was embarrassed by how much he was stinking up the place, but he was scared. The doctor had dumped a number of awful news on him and Doek-su hadn’t been in a talkative mood, so Felix had been stewing on them for a few hours now.

“Hey, Lix, look at me. Please.” Their gazes locked and Felix wanted to cry at the tender look he found. “You’re doing great. You’re handling a little girl, school, work, social life, YouTube and a pregnancy on top of that. And you’re giving him all the foods he’s craving and taking care of yourself as much as you can. You’re not neglecting him, you’re not doing anything differently from last time – and Sun-Hi is healthy and happy. Even if he has a heart disease – which I’m guessing isn’t confirmed – you’ll still provide him with everything and love him and make sure he’s happy and healthy, too. Let’s see how things go and not stress unnecessarily, okay? I’m sure everything will be okay.” Felix closed his eyes and leaned forward, Chan meeting him in the middle so that their foreheads touched. “I’ve got you, love.”

“Mama, dino! Petty.” Felix glanced at Sun-Hi and gave her a small smile.

“Yes, baby, you have a great dinosaur. Very pretty.”

“I can already see another mini you running around, trailing after princess Sun-Hi and whining every time he’s not included in the game,” Chan said after a few moments when his daughter didn’t speak again, focused on her toy. Felix gasped and pulled away.

“Are you calling my son a whiner?”

“Takes after his mom,” Chan teased and Felix pushed at his chest unsuccessfully.

“Take that back, hyung, I don’t whine!” Felix whined and Chan lifted an eyebrow. Felix groaned and crossed his arms.

“I’m joking, he’ll be perfect like you – and the little lady. I already can’t wait to meet him.” Felix smiled and closed the little space there was between them to place a soft kiss on Chan’s lips. The alpha deepened the kiss and Felix held back a moan, one hand reaching out to clutch onto the man’s black hoodie. There was a sudden pull on his hair and Felix withdrew, eyes widening when his common sense flooded back into his head and it dawned on him that his young daughter was standing centimeters away.

“Sungie dino?” Sun-Hi asked and Felix wiped his mouth, embarrassed, and nodded.

“Yes, we’re showing Sungie the new dino, that’s right!”

Chan cleared his throat and picked her up, making her squeal. “Shall we go, little lady?” 

—

University was finally done. Felix couldn’t believe that he was done with his second master, but there he was, looking at the 4.0 he received for his thesis – the last thing he had to finish to obtain his diploma. He did it! He worked hard on it, while also working hard on raising a child and having an actual job, and he managed to graduate without much delay! Just on time, too, because the pregnancy was advancing and Felix was going to need all the free time he could get very soon.

“So university is over for you officially now?” Doek-su asked as dinner wrapped up and Felix nodded, but his attention was on Sun-Hi as he wiped her face from all evidence of her meal. “Perhaps you could then start attending the board meetings more regularly. I can have you trail Jimin for –”

“I’d rather focus on Sun-Hi and actually start getting enough rest –”

“We want you to join the board soon –”

“You want that, not me. I’d really like to dedicate more time to my daughter, and to actually fulfilling the job I already have instead of relying on a shadow director for the majority of the time.” Doek-su has staring at him, one eyebrow raised, the corner of his mouth turned up. Felix lifted his chin, not willing to back up.

“You’re sexy when you get all argumentative, beautiful,” Doek-su drawled as he got up. Felix grit his teeth, immediately annoyed. He wanted the bigoted alpha to listen to his arguments and admit he was right, not belittle and sexualise him. “Tonight, I’ll co–”

“No,” Felix interrupted with a shake of his head and got up, moving to grab his daughter from her high chair, but Doek-su touched his behind before he could lift her and Felix turned around. “Like for the previous pregnancy – no sex.”

Doek-su rolled his eyes in annoyance so hard that his whole body rolled backwards too. “Come on, beautiful. Are you really going to hold a small incident from so long ago against me?” Felix glared.

“Yes.” Doek-su’s eyes narrowed just a bit and his lightheartedness was dissipating, but Felix didn’t care. 

“Felix…”

“I’m not having sex while pregnant! I’m not endangering our child,” Felix said, voice raised. “Should I remind you that I’m carrying your son, your heir? I said I want to be careful and as the one that has a baby in their belly, I think I know better what is best for him!” Doek-su stared at him for a long minute before rolling his eyes again.

“Whatever.”

Felix turned back to Sun-Hi while the alpha walked out of the room. “Whatever,” he repeated quietly, mockingly. 

Later that night, he put Sun-Hi to sleep while Chan lounged on his bed, looking at his phone screen. With a quiet sigh, Felix moved away from the crib and slowly made his way to the bed too, lying down on his side and putting his head on Chan’s shoulder. The bodyguard had been texting his sister and Felix snorted at the sticker she last sent. “Hey,” he whispered as he looked up and tried to catch the alpha’s eyes.

“Hey,” Chan repeated and looked at him, grinning slightly, and moving his phone out of the way. Felix wiggled upwards and Chan placed a hand on his protruding bump, rubbing his thumb over the stretched fabric. Felix bit his lip, smiling, and scanned the man’s face. His plump lips were calling to him.

Felix leaned in at the same time that Chan did and within seconds, Felix’ hands were fisting into the alpha’s curly hair at the nape of his neck, and Chan was straddling him, careful of the baby, their mouths attached into a passionate kiss. Okay, maybe he was fine with having sex while pregnant. Just, only with the right people.

And Chan was as right as could be. 

Like he proved again, for the millionth time, when Felix entered his rooms with Sun-Hi after a video game session with Hyunjin, Jeongin and Changbin and had to gasp. Chan looked up from what he was doing – lighting a candle, one of a dozen – and gave him a shy smile. There were lit candles, yes, but also a table, which usually wasn’t there, was nicely decorated with flowers and had a couple of plates with what smelled like his favourite risotto. There was a third plate too! A small plastic one with Sun-Hi-appropriate food and Felix wanted to cry. There were a few other snacks around the table, mozzarella sticks, olives, pickles and Felix’ current most frequent craving of green onions dipped in salt, and Felix did start crying once he took those in.

“Hey, hey, why – no, love, you were supposed to be happy, not –”

“I am happy, hyung,” Felix interrupted and crashed into the alpha’s chest sideways, careful with his daughter. “I – just –” Just: what had he done do deserve someone like Chan in his life? Why didn’t he meet the man first, why didn’t the world allow for him to have a beautiful, charming and caring husband like Chan, instead of the asshole he was tied to? Why did the alpha smell so divine and feel so right, when being with him was morally wrong? Why was life the way it was? “What’s the occasion?” he settled for in the end, moving away and trying to rub his tears away with one hand. Chan wiped a tear on the other side of his face and took Sun-Hi from his arms.

“Ani, Sunny as woff!” Chan chuckled and kissed her forehead as he moved to put her in the high chair.

“Oh wow, Sun-Hi has a wolf?! I’ve never seen it before, where did you find this amazing wolf, little lady? I’d like one myself too.” Felix grinned through more tears and stepped up to the table too. He took out one of the chairs and Chan quickly came over to help him sit and push his chair for him. Sun-Hi babbled and Felix smiled at her, nodding. “The occasion… Well, you’re done with all of your studies! And you’ve scored a new partnership!” The contract had been signed in the week of his graduation even. The fundraiser was going to be raising funds for the Korean Cancer Association in the next half-year and Felix was really happy with that. “You’ve achieved so much, all the while raising a child, and I’m so proud of you. I’m happy to see you flourish.”

There were tears spilling again and Felix blamed it on the pregnancy. Chan already took a seat but he grabbed his hand over the table, looking at Felix like a concerned puppy. “Sorry, sorry, I – hormones.” Chan smiled in sympathy. “You’re the best, you know that right?”

“Definitely not the best,” the alpha said with a forced laugh. 

“Yes, you are. You’re literally the most caring and sweet and thoughtful alpha that I know. You’re so much greater than you think. I – I really appreciate you being here for me and – and everything you’ve done for me, for us.” Felix broke down crying, full-on sobbing, and Chan hurried to his side again to pull him into a hug.

“Mama sad?”

“No, baby. Mama is very happy!” Felix smiled through his tears at the little girl. “Channie is making mama very happy. Sun-Hi too!” Chan scented him, pressing closer, and Felix closed his eyes for a second, cherishing the moment. 

They had sex, again, that night, after Sun-Hi was put to bed. Slow and tender, bodies fully connected, hands touching all over, lips ghosting all over. Felix gasped and moaned quietly and writhed under Chan, reaching a peak with pleasure and emotion that made his eyes water once more that night. 

There was no doubt in his mind, Felix was in love.

—

This second pregnancy was… tough on Felix and his body. Now that he had been through it once and had something to expect and compare to, it seemed unfair. He felt bigger than before, hungrier than before, more tired than before. His small breasts hurt to the point of tears and he napped constantly. He didn’t mind the naps too much, but everything else was getting to his head. Felix had really hoped the second time around the pregnancy would be much smoother, especially as there was nothing to take him by surprise, but boy was he wrong.

There were the good times too, of course. 

Felix was working on a vlog, when he felt movement in his belly. “So my recommendation out of the three? Definitely, CosRx. Honestly, I’m extremely happy with how my skin looks with their moisturizer. Shiny and smooth, I love it. I actually think I might continue using it now, instead of my usual.” Not a very exciting video, that was for sure, but he didn’t do something new and interesting every single week. Sometimes, it was a more laid-back vlog experimenting with makeup, or cosmetics, or outfits. It still felt connected to his origins; back when he’d been a poor Australian student and had to upload filler episodes of trying out his mother’s clothes or DIY dying his hair experimentally. He’d used to have fun making those, and his fans seemed to appreciate them, so he didn’t mind filming the occasional slower vlog.

That was when he felt it. There was movement in his belly, something more than the internal flutters he’d been feeling until now, but not as much as how he knew it would be towards the end, with a literal bulge visible where the baby’s appendage pressed against his skin. Felix grinned happily, loving the reminder of the boy’s growth and touched his stomach.

“Oh my God, the baby is kicking,” he told the camera quietly and then looked at Sun-Hi who was sitting on the couch next to him, looking at a children’s book with colorful animals that Felix occasionally opened to a new page. “Sun-Hi, honey, do you want to feel the baby kicking?” he asked and his daughter looked up at him upon hearing her name. 

“Baby?”

“Yes, here, see.” He brought her hand up to the side of his stomach where the baby was continuously kicking. Sun-Hi watched his stomach for a few seconds without reacting and then suddenly she burst into tears. Her scent was still milky and undefined yet, and was going to remain so until she reached adolescence, but it was still possible to tell it soured with fear. Felix cooed with a smile and lifted her into a standing position so they could hug. “Oh, baby, it’s okay, shh.” He nuzzled her cheek affectionately and looked at the camera again. “I feel like I’d also be scared if I was one and a half and my mom’s stomach started shifting around…” 

The next time the baby decided to show his presence was over Sunday lunch with Doek-su. Felix felt him move in his stomach and automatically smiled. He glanced at Doek-su who was eyeing Sun-Hi as she got dangerously close to pushing her water bottle off the small table attached to her stool, and debated whether he should take the alpha’s attention away from the little girl. 

Felix held in a sigh and cleared his throat. “The baby is kicking, if you want to touch,” he offered. Despite Doek-su’s negative sides, the alpha was still the baby’s sire and was technically trying to do something good, attending lunches and doctor appointments. Perhaps making him a more active part of the process was going to be good for the family, was going to encourage a bond to finally form between Doek-su and his children.