Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We open on two members in a crowd.

They are but silhouettes. Without name, without face, without any definable features other than being silhouettes. They do, however, feel. Or, at least, that’s the best explanation for why they turn to each other.

Crowd Member #1: It seems that we are in a crowd, my friend.

Crowd Member #2: Yes, that is quite observable. Should we exit the crowd?

Crowd Member #1: I believe that to be the best option.

Crowd Member #2: Most excellent.

They both exit the room and go into another map altogether, this one being a bar with empty bottles scattered around the tables and yet a distinct lack of people.

Crowd Member #1: This will do for now.

Crowd Member #2: Now that we are not, indeed, crowd members, should we rename ourselves in order to represent this?

Crowd Member #1: You are full of brilliant ideas. Of course, we need names that do not stand out.

Crowd Member #2: Oh, yes, I can see the logic in that.

Crowd Member #1: I shall be Norman Alman.

Crowd Member #2: I shall be E. Ray Levant. 

Norman Alman: I feel so individual now.

E. Ray Levant: Yes, I am shocked we did not think of this before.

A moment of silence.



Norman Alman: What should we do now that we are not in the crowd?

E. Ray Levant: A most difficult question. 

Norman Alman: Let us think of ideas. Perhaps something relating to two, since there are two of us.

E.Ray Levant: A great foundation. Maybe we could get other groups of two.

Norman Alman: Ooooh, yes, that would be most agreeable. But what shall we do with them?

E. Ray Levant: I am stumped, Norman Alman.

Norman Alman: Me too, E. Ray Levant.

Yet another moment of silence until they see an open computer.

E. Ray Levant: Someone has left their computer open and signed in.

Norman Alman: Quite the foolish move.

E. Ray Levant: I think we should see what is on it.

Norman Alman: I also think we should see what is on it.

E. Ray Levant: We are in synchronization with each other.

Norman Alman: Indeed we are.

The two shadows walk up to the computer to find the tab open on an AO3 tag that is not canonized (because they’re cowards) .

E. Ray Levant: ‘Character Elimination Cinematic Universe’?

Norman Alman: How peculiar. We should investigate further.

E. Ray Levant: I hold this opinion also.

They start reading all the fics until they finally get an idea.

Norman Alman: E. Ray Levant, are you thinking what I believe you to be thinking?

E. Ray Levant: If I am thinking what you are thinking and you are thinking what I am thinking, then it would be so.

Norman Alman: A game show.

E. Ray Levant: Relating to the number two.

Norman Alman: Groups of two.

E. Ray Levant: Competing.

Norman Alman: And this bar will be the place where they reside when not competing.

E. Ray Levant: And due to the nature of the mod that Garry created, we have the power to do it.

Norman Alman: Then let us do it.

E. Ray Levant: I agree indeed. Do we have a cast?

Norman Alman: We could use this list of decipherable codenames that we both understand automatically due to having made it during our time in the crowd.

E. Ray Levant: Perchance.

They read the list.

-----

The Wildcards

The Classics

The Inversions

The Directors

The Bandmates

The Avatars

The Pilots

The ‘Pals’

The Traitors

The Pigs

The Sociopaths

The Childhood Friends

The Tower Goer Througers

The Monsters

The Lucky

The Gunners

The Goats

The Canadians

The Tortured Poets

The Space Dwellers

The Psychics

The Polygonal Ones

-----

Norman Alman: Which one of us decided on the name for the 13th item on this list?

E. Ray Levant: If I remember correctly, it was Crowd Member 3.

Norman Alman: Ah, yes, may he one day burn in hell.

E. Ray Levant: Regardless of the name of that item, this list seems to be in order.

Norman Alman: I do not personally detect any issues.

E. Ray Levant: Now to get the final preparations in order.

Norman Alman: Yes, yes, of course. We shall need to increase the size of this bar.

E. Ray Levant: And find a suitable broadcast method.

Norman Alman: We could always upload this competition to the platform on which other items in the Character Elimination Cinematic Universe have been uploaded.

E. Ray Levant: That is a grand idea! We are truly intelligent.

Norman Alman: Undoubtedly. Should we air this as a proof of concept?

E. Ray Levant: Yes, of course, but first, we should establish some facts.

Norman Alman: Ah, yes.

Both of them turn to the camera.

Norman Alman: I am Norman Alman.

E. Ray Levant: And this is my brother George.

Norman Alman: But there is no ‘George’ here?

E. Ray Levant: Yes, I was referencing hit cartoon Peppa Pig to make an amusing joke.

Norman Alman: I see! Ha ha, you truly do come out with some gut busting wisecracks!

E. Ray Levant: Rib tickling witticisms are abound with us, my friend who is called Norman Alman. I am actually E. Ray Levant. And we are here to announce our competition show named…

Norman Alman: How about Decisively Odd Scrap?

E. Ray Levant: Ah, because the acronym is Spanish for ‘two’! A most glorious suggestion that has now become reality.

Norman Alman: Indeed.

E. Ray Levant: Duos of characters will perform challenges. 

Norman Alman: How will the voting work?

E. Ray Levant: Both the contestants and viewers will vote, and they will all get to vote for two separate people!

Norman Alman: You, good sir, have never had an idea of a low quality, that is for sure!

E. Ray Levant: I appreciate the compliment. The only aspect that may not relate to two is, of course, the amount of contestants that are eliminated each time they fail. 

Norman Alman: Two, of course!

E. Ray Levant: You are right! With such a high number as forty four people in 22 duos, double eliminations would be a great fit for this game which will be shown.

Norman Alman: Now to start setting up.

E. Ray Levant: Indeed, indeed.

Both the former crowd members make their departure as feel-good music plays through faulty speakers in the now desolate bar.

DECISIVELY ODD SCRAP

‘It certainly isn’t Uno.”

Chapter Text

Blue from hit game Among Us wakes up in an empty bar.

Blue: Erm, what the fuck?

Coral wakes up at the same time, along with various other people.

Coral: …uh, I know I installed mods and stuff, but I don’t think one of those was for a bar. And I also don’t think one of them was for seeing the dead.

Blue: Shut up, you killed me and now we’re in a bar! 

Coral: I did not kill you, uh, it was probably an SS!

Blue: Mate, I didn’t get Guardian Angel. I can see who’s imposter and who’s not. Or I could before you sent us HERE!

Coral: Oh, look, other people!

Blue: Don’t you dare misdirect me-

Blue and Coral

Origin: Among Us (2018)

Pronouns: They/Them and They/Them

Codename: The Space Dwellers

Important Information: Blue is ghost. Coral is Imposter.

Norman Alman: Hello, contestants.

E. Ray Levant: We are bringing each duo two at a time.

Blue: What are you

Blue is interrupted by a yellow ball trying to eat them.

Blue: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!

Blue narrowly floats out of the way, managing to avoid the yellow ball. Said ball looks around a bit more, and then gives an apologetic look as he reveals his limbs, eyes, and, of course, the mouth.

Yellow ball: Sorry, force of habit. Hello! I’m PAC MAN!

Blue: OK, even ignoring PAC MAN, what do you shadowy fuckers mean, ‘duos’ and ‘two at a time’? There’s only two other people here excluding us!

Norman Alman: You are wrong.

E. Ray Levant: Very wrong.

Norman Alman: There are 2+2+2 people here.

E. Ray Levant: The one that makes up part of the other two is above you.

Blue looks up.

A pixelated blue ship like thing with red thrusters, red circles that look like eyes, a large yellow square under its ‘eyes’, and a tractor beam currently being activated, is above them. Blue yelps, even as the tractor beam does nothing since they are a ghost.

Blue: FUCKING GALAGA?!

PAC MAN and Boss Galaga

Origin: PAC MAN and Galaga

Pronouns: He/Him and It/Its

Codename: The Classics

PAC MAN: Well, I’m not actually sure what to say here. Huh. 

Coral: Do you two have anything?

Norman Alman: We have information, yes.

E. Ray Levant: Indeed, but we cannot share it yet.

Norman Alman: We are waiting for everyone else.

E. Ray Levant: Then you shall be enlightened.

Norman Alman: Patience is a virtue

E. Ray Levant: And people like virtuous people.

Norman Alman: We should wait in the back room.

E. Ray Levant: I agree with this idea.

Norman Alman: I agree with your agreeing with my idea.

E. Ray Levant: We are both full of ideas that are good.

Both Norman Alman and E. Ray Levant make their exit into the back room. Coral tries to follow them but cannot get past the locked door, and there are no vents for them to go through.

Coral: Who even… were those two?

Blue: Not the people who KILLED ME and tried to kill THE ENTIRE CREW!

Coral: Proof?

Blue: BITCH, YOU LITERALLY STABBED ME!

Coral: See, there’s your problem. You’re only focused on specifics. You’re so focused on me allegedly ‘killing’ you, but when I was doing wires, guess what? The task bar went up.

Blue: You know what, I’m done. I’m ignoring you. Murderer.

Blue floats into the corner.

PAC MAN: …so, is it just this group of people?

Coral: Ideally not.

As luck would have it, four more entities appear at that point, being a blue haired boy, a red haired girl, a goat, and a guy with a striped jumper.

Coral: OK, so that’s three.

Goat: BAH!

Coral: …wait, no, if the alien thing counts… no, don’t tell me that the goat is one of the others meant to be here?

Blue floats back.

Blue: I’m sorry, WHAT?! Who even are these people?

None of the aforementioned four even seem to notice Blue, but they do manage to orient themselves.

Blue haired boy: …huh. New place.

Red haired girl: Oh, Orpheus, that’s disorienting. 

Blue haired boy: What was that name?

Red haired girl: Orpheus?

Blue haired boy: Who are you? Why do you know my Persona’s name?

Red haired girl: You have Orpheus as a Persona too? Wait, is that a S.E.E.S armband? I don’t remember seeing you there!

Blue haired boy: Likewise.

Coral: Ahem.

Everyone turns to Coral.

Blue: Dude, you really just said ‘ahem’?

Coral: ( ignoring Blue ) I’m sure your culture shock is fascinating and all, but can you please share your names so we can start to move on to where we are?

Blue haired boy: Makoto Yuki.

Red haired girl: Kotone Shiomi! 

Makoto Yuki and Kotone Shiomi

Origin: Persona 3

Pronouns: He/They and She/They

Codename: The Wildcards

Important Information: Both are taken post game. Ken’s social link in Portable is not considered canon to this. 

Coral: Duly noted. 

Makoto: As for you?

Coral: Coral and Blue.

Makoto: They look more yellow to me.

Coral: No, that’s PAC MAN, I’m talking about the bitchy ghost.

Makoto: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Blue: They probably can’t see me if I’m a ghost, dipshit. PAC MAN would be able to because he eats ghosts, and Boss Galaga is… I don’t know about that thing, actually.

Coral: …my mistake, it looks like the voices got the better of me again. 

Kotone: What does that mea-

Goat: MEEEH!

Everyone turns to the goat.

Random guy: That’s Pilgor. Hi, I’m GSTFS. 

Pilgor and GSTFS

Origin: Goat Simulator

Pronouns: She/Her and He/Him

Codename: The Goats

Important Information: Both are taken post Goat Simulator 3. (All the original NPCs, including GSTFS, appear in that game as playable characters.)

Coral: So the goat is meant to be another prominent person here. Well, a prominent organism. I hesitate to call that a person.

GSTFS: I was sacrificed by a goat once.

A moment of silence.

Makoto: That’s rough.

Pilgor headbutts Makoto across the room. He crashes into a table, groaning in pain.

Makoto: Gotta get something with physical immunity later…

GSTFS: Like Kevlar?

Kotone: No, that’s just bullet proof.

Coral: Can we please focus?

PAC MAN: On what?

Coral: I… don’t actually know, but still!

Makoto: You’ve defeated your point. Congratulations.

Coral: Do you want to keep talking, or do you want to keep breathing?

Makoto: I don’t care.

Another moment of silence.

PAC MAN: I, uh, don’t know how to help with that, so I’m just going to ignore that.

Right on cue, four more entities appear.

PAC MAN: Oh, hey, that was easy.

A penguin with sunglasses and an afro loudly argues with a weird bird like thing in a conductor’s outfit, while a pink haired girl and a tall boy with a basketball and orange jersey come to term with their surroundings.

Orange jersey: A-a bar? But I’m too young!

Pink haired girl: KEL?! What are you doing here? Why am I here? Where even is here?

Kel: Wait, Aubrey? You’re here too?

Aubrey and Kel

Origin: Fairly notable game OMORI

Pronouns: She/Her and He/Him

Codename: The Childhood Friends

Important Information: They have been taken from before the events of THREE DAYS LEFT. Meaning FOUR DAYS LEFT, because four is divisible by two.

Coral: Hello.

Both Aubrey and Kel freeze, before turning to look at Coral.

Aubrey: Kel. Why is there a crewmate here.

Kel: To be fair, it could be an imposter.

Aubrey: That’s not any better!

Their conversation is interrupted by the increasing volume of the argument between the birds.

Conductor outfit: OH, YER’VE ONLY GONE AN’ SENT US BOTH T’ THIS PECKING PLACE! 

Penguin: Unfounded accusations don’t look good on you, darling.

Conductor outfit: Shut it, ye peck neck. Phew, we’re in a bar, at least. I can finally ge’ somethin’ to drink. 

Sadly for him, there is no bartender to serve drinks.

Conductor outfit: What the peck is th’ point of a bar tha’ DOESNAE HAVE ANYONE T’ SERVE TH’ PECKING DRINKS?!

Penguin: Calm down, Conductor. Humans are staring.

Conductor: Ohhh, we got some fleshy folk here, do we? Well, do nae listen t’ anything DJ GROOVES says.

Aubrey: Those are your names ?

Kel: You’re named after an eggplant.

Aubrey: Never speak again.

The Conductor and DJ Grooves

Origin: A Hat In Time

Pronouns: He/Him for both

Codename: The Directors

Conductor: So, er, what’s even goin’ on here? I got a train t’ get back t’.

Coral: We’re still figuring that out. No thanks to anyone here.

Boss Galaga bleeps.

Coral: What was that even supposed to mean?

Blue: More importantly, who here can see me? Looks like you, PAC MAN, and the two shadowy fuckers from earlier so far. Anyone else? Because I don’t want to be stuck talking to you.

Coral subtly flips Blue off before turning back to the main conversation at hand.

Blue: IF I HAD A CORPOREAL FORM, I WOULD KILL YOU.

Aubrey: Does anyone know what’s going on?

Coral: Two silhouettes brought us all here, or something, I wasn’t very clear on the specifics. 

PAC MAN: It seems like them, yeah. They also called us ‘contestants’ and ‘duos’, so I guess the people who know each other might be these ‘duos’? Admittedly, I don’t actually know anything about that weird blue pixel ship thingy I guess is paired with me, but other than that.

Kel: Contestants? Are we doing a game show or something? That would be pretty cool if they hadn’t kidnapped us.

Aubrey: Kel, I think there are several other issues right now.

Four others appear.

Aubrey: …like those things.

She points at two similar looking polygonal figures.

Polygonal figure 1: A most joyous hello to you! I am ENA.

Polygonal figure 2: Someone who shares my name. Interesting. I am… for the sake of differentiation, I’ll go with 3NA.

ENA and 3NA

Origin: Joel G’s ENA and ENA Dream BBQ

Pronouns: She/Her for both

Codename: The Polygonal Ones

Important Information: ENA is yellow when happy and blue when sad. 3NA is red when sales(wo)man and white when mad. 

Makoto: Hold on-

Makoto interrupts the musing when he is selfishly held at gunpoint by a toddler with a head like an American football. The nerve of him, I know.

Toddler: Did you bring us here? Or was it you?

White dog that was with him: Stewie, I don’t think it’s these guys. 

Stewie: Very well, I’ll hold off until we have more concrete information. But don’t get too cocky.

White dog: Wh-what are you even trying to sound like here?

Stewie: You don’t get to question my vocabulary choices after the several seasons’ worth of pseudo intellectualism you’ve displayed, Brian.

Stewie and Brian Griffin

Origin: Family Guy

Pronouns: He/Him for both

Codename: The ‘Pals’

Brian: Why is that our codename? We couldn’t have had something better?

Coral: What codename are you talking about?

Stewie: Brian, no one likes meta humour, you should know this.

Brian: I’m asking a serious question! That wasn’t even meant to be funny, I’m just genuinely confused!

Stewie: Just stop already.

Aubrey: Kel. Why are you the sanest thing I’ve seen all day?

Kel: Beats me.

3NA: We should all calm down now, arguing isn’t going to do us any good.

Boss Galaga gives an affirmative beep.

Brian: Great casting choices here.

Stewie: What did I literally just say? Were you even listening to our previous conversation, you cretinous canine?

Four more arrive, breaking up the conversation somewhat. Another pink haired girl and another red haired girl try to work out where they are currently, while a brown haired boy and a white haired boy seem to come to their own conclusions.

Brown haired boy: Is this another killing game? But I only just got out of Monokuma’s game, why am I here again?! 

White haired boy: Ah, Makoto Naegi, the Ultimate Hope! I’m so glad I can meet you in person.

Naegi: Who are you?

White haired boy: Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Lucky Student. I know, not as impressive as your talent.

Naegi: That was my talent, though. Wait, how do you even know who I am? 

Makoto Naegi and Nagito Komaeda

Origin: Danganronpa

Pronouns: He/Him for both

Codename: The Lucky

Important Information: Nagito is post SDR2. Makoto just got out of Trigger Happy Havoc.

The pink haired and red haired girl are less calm.

Pink haired girl: W-w-w-w-w-w-where-w-w

Red haired girl: Calm down, please, Hitori-chan! I don’t know where we are either, but there has to be a reason, we’ll be fine, please, I’m sure we’ll be fine!

Coral: And who exactly are you two?

Red haired girl: Huh? Oh, I’m Kita Ikuyo and that’s Hitori Gotoh, though everyone calls her Bocchi-chan for some reason.

Bocchi glitches out on the floor.

Hitori Gotoh and Kita Ikuyo

Origin: BOCCHI THE ROCK!

Pronouns: She/Her for both

Codename: The Bandmates

Fun Fact: Kita is trans. This is because I feel like it. 

Kotone: Wow, they are not taking this well.

Blue: It’s a kidnapping, why would they take it well? COME ON, PLEASE, HEAR ME FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF ANSWERING ME!

Bocchi: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Kita: Sorry, she doesn’t do well with people.

Aubrey: Fair.

Kel: Yeah, I can respect that. I guess give her space?

Sadly, Pilgor seems to think otherwise, as she licks and drags Bocchi across the room, crashing her into various tables, before letting go and sitting down.

Pilgor: Meh.

Bocchi goes catatonic, and before anyone can reprimand Pilgor, four more people arrive, being a strawberry blonde haired girl, yet another pink haired girl, a blocky figure, and a different blocky figure with bacon looking hair.

Bacon looking hair: yo what the ####

Aubrey: Minecraft Steve? MINECRAFT STEVE?!

Bacon looking hair: no i’m bacon hair idiot

Kel: ROBLOX AS WELL?!

Bacon Hair and Minecraft Steve

Origin: ROBLOX and Minecraft

Pronouns: Any/All and He/Him

Codename: The Avatars

Minecraft Steve simply stands for a bit before wandering into a corner.

Bacon Hair: yeah idk whats up with that guy minecraft is cringe anyway

Aubrey: You’re one to talk.

Bacon Hair: oh great another earthbound inspired indie game about depression

Aubrey: The hell does that mean?

Pink haired girl: I don’t know what all of you are talking about, but can SOMEONE explain why we’ve been brought here?

Strawberry blonde: I’m sure we’ll find out, Natsuki! 

Natsuki: Oh, hey Sayori. Didn’t notice you were there. 

Sayori and Natsuki

Origin: Doki Doki Literature Club!

Pronouns: They/Them for Sayori and She/Her for Natsuki

Codename: The Tortured Poets

Important Information: Natsuki is also trans. This is because I control canon.

Bacon Hair: 2017 called it wants you to ####### die

Sayori: That’s not very nice…

Bacon Hair: oh whoops i’ll stop

Sayori: Yay!

Bacon Hair: jk #### you

Sayori: Awww…

Natsuki: Hurt Sayori again and I will punch you.

Stewie: I see this group of people is going to be productive.

Coral: I’ve been trying even with people screaming in my ear.

Blue: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU MURDERING SCUM FUCK YOU FU-

Coral: Anyway, does anyone know how we get into that back room and find the shadowy fuckers?

Blue: YOU FUCKING PLAGARIST, I’LL END YOUR LIFE, YOU LYI-

Brian: I got nothing. Look, we should all just

Minecraft Steve starts mining the door only to be sent flying into a wall.

Stewie: We’re clearly not getting in there.

Norman Alman: ( from inside the room ) I am very glad we put a force field up, my friend.

E. Ray Levant: Yes, I am also elated at this.

Norman Alman: It was a very intellectual thought that we had.

E. Ray Levant: Indubitably. 

Aubrey: …why did they sound like that? 

Before further questions could be asked, however, four more entities appeared, being a man in a biker outfit, a man in purple overalls, and two pigs.

Biker: WAH! Who would kidnap WARIO?! And who would even think about Waluigi enough to kidnap him?

Waluigi: Seriously? So much for mutual respect among friends.

Wario and Waluigi

Origin: Super Mario Bros Series

Pronouns: He/Him for both

Codename: The Inversions

Important Information: Both of them are trans. Refer to previous statements.

But for once, they are not the center of attention, for many are more focused on the pigs.

Bacon Hair: ####### pigs?

Shorter pig: I’m Peppa Pig! And this is Daddy Pig!

Daddy Pig: Yes, hello, everyone! I’m not sure where we are, and this isn’t the best place for Peppa, but still, good to meet you all!

Aubrey: What the fuck is my life.

Peppa and Daddy Pig

Origin: Peppa Pig

Pronouns: She/Her and He/Him

Codename: The Pigs

PAC MAN: Uh, what’s even so weird about these guys? They seem fine.

Bacon Hair: bro doesn’t know :SkullEmoji:

PAC MAN: What?

Bacon Hair: the horrors bold text

Coral: Ignore him.

Bacon Hair: i hope you get banned

Coral: Ignore him. If the only thing there is to do is wait, then wait we shall, I guess.

Blue: Stop trying to sound cool, you psychopath!

Coral: Just waiting in silence without any petty bitches squwaking in our ears.

Blue: Petty? PETTY?! Oh, I am looking forward to when you get what you deserve.

As expected, four more arrive, being a purple ball with a jester hat, a floating egg like thing with a blue cloak, a brown haired girl, and a blonde girl.

Purple ball: Look at that, Magsy, we’re in another dimension!

Magolor: This is not new, why did you feel the need to point it out?

Brown haired girl: This is a really weird trip.

Blonde girl: This was not what I expected from the afterlife. Mostly cause I didn’t expect anything, why would I? 

Brown haired girl: Oh, yeah, Emily, you know that killing ourselves to spite a teacher is really cool when it’s not something as boring as an overdose? Reason I made a non-lethal mixture for myself

Emily: I thought you were with me, Nicole, you fucking traitorous whore!

Nicole and Emily

Origin: Class Of 09

Pronouns: She/Her for both

Codename: The Sociopaths

Important Information: Post Emily route.

Purple ball: Oh, we’re name sharing! Hi, I’m Marx! You can call me Marx, though.

Marx and Magolor

Origin: Kirby Series

Pronouns: Marx/They/It/Marxself and He/Him

Codename: The Traitors

Important Information: Post Magolor Epilogue.

Nicole: What the fuck am I looking at, anyway? Emily, I thought your mixture was meant to kill us.

Emily: You just said you changed it!

Nicole: I didn’t change yours.

Emily: You didn’t even try to save me? Fair, I would have buried you alive and let you run out of oxygen if you tried to interrupt my suicide.

Daddy Pig: Peppa, don’t listen to anything these hooligans are saying!

Marx: Listen to me instead! Go drink driving!

Peppa: Daddy, who is that?

Daddy Pig: It said its name was ‘Marx’?

Marx: Yep! Not Karl, though, that’s a different guy. 

Four more appear, being a blond child, a cyborg like soldier, an orange haired girl, and a blue haired girl.

Orange haired girl: AND YOU’RE ALWAYS SO- Huh? Wait, where is this?

Blue haired girl: I do not know.

Orange haired girl: I wasn’t asking you, Wondergirl, I’m asking everyone else here! There’s a lot of people, as well. Wait, we’re in a bar! I can get a drink! 

Blue haired girl: You’re underage.

Orange haired girl: Shut up, Rei!

Rei: This is Asuka, by the way.

Asuka: AND YOU DIDN’T LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF?! You really are the worst.

Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryuu

Origin: Neon Genesis Evangelion

Pronouns: She/It and She/Her

Codename: The Pilots

Important Information: Rebuild is not canon to this. This is because I haven’t watched it yet.

The other duo has a very different reaction to seeing each other.

Blond kid: C-c-claus?

Bacon Hair: claus is a boring name i’m calling him masked man

Blond kid: NO! He’s, he’s Claus! My brother!

Kel: It’s OK, ignore him. What’s your name?

Blond kid: …Lucas…

Lucas and Masked Man

Origin: Mother 3

Pronouns: He/They and It/He

Codename: The Psychics

Important Information: Masked Man does not remember the events of the game.

Blue: Wow, he seems like a scaredy cat.

Lucas freezes and looks at Blue.

Blue: FINALLY, SOMEONE ELSE CAN SEE ME! Oh, this is good, this is really good!

Masked Man also looks at Blue.

Blue: OK, that other one, not so good, but still, it’s something!

Marx: I can see you too!

Blue: YAY!

Magolor: Who are you talking to?

Marx: Oh, I just wanted to get the hopes of anyone invisible up, I don’t actually see anyone else here.

Blue: FUCKING-

Another four appear, being an Italian chef, a small yellow person, yet another red haired girl, and a blond ninja.

Italian chef: WHERE AM I?! WHO'S-A TAKEN ME?! 

Waluigi: Another Italian? Huh. What's your name, little man?

Italian chef: P-Peppino Spaghetti.

Yellow person: And I'm not him, because I'm The Noise! 

Peppino Spaghetti and Theodore ‘The’ Noise

Origin: Pizza Tower

Pronouns: He/Him and They/Them

Codename: The Tower Goer Througers

Important Information: Peppino is trans. Take a guess as to what comes next.

GSTFS: I don't know anyone in this conversation, but I saw a group of people and didn't want to be left out.

Boss Galaga makes a pixelated noise.

Red haired girl: What… even… is this? No, you know what, I don't even want to know.

Naegi: That's fair, I'm worried myself, but there's nothing we can do but wait.

Nagito: Wise words from the Ultimate Hope himself!

Red haired girl: Whatever. Before you ask, I'm Kim.

Blonde ninja: Wait, you had a name this whole time? Damn, didn't even realize. 

Kim: Roxy, right? 

Kim Pine and Roxy Ritcher

Origin: Scott Pilgrim

Pronouns: She/Her for both

Codename: The Canadians

Important Information: Post Scott Pilgrim Takes Off.

Natsuki: Can someone tell me what's going on already? I am so done with this already.

Coral: We are trying to figure that out ourselves, and we're doing poorly enough without people constantly disturbing the peace.

Makoto: Look into my eyes.

Kotone: Now tell me the things you blabbing about behind my back!

Makoto: This should be a fruitful partnership.

Coral: … moving past that , we're going to wait and then the shadowy fuckers will explain.

Blue: Now tell them about how you KILLED ME.

Lucas: …

Coral: To the voices in my head, stop talking unless you have something constructive to say, and don't spread baseless lies.

Blue: I hate you so much.

At that point, the last four arrive. A floating woman in white, a deer girl with white hair, and a ginger boy being held at gunpoint by a man in armour who is also being held at gunpoint.

Military man: Seriously? Had to be you and not Steve?

Ginger boy: There's a ‘Steve’ there, dumbass.

Military man: Wow, really breaking the mold here. Now get off me before I break your balls.

Ginger boy: Ohshitotherpeople

The ginger boy jumps away from the military man.

Ginger boy: Hi! I'm Pico. Nice to meet you all.

Military man: I'm John Captain!

Natsuki: Do you mean Captain John?

John: John. Captain. I meant what I said, unlike a female orgasm.

Pico: Why are you like this?

Pico and John Captain

Origin: Pico's School and Tankmen

Pronouns: He/They and He/Him

Codename: The Gunners

Woman in white: Interesting.

Blue: Wait, another ghost?

Sayori: Woah, you look cool! 

Blue: WHY CAN YOU SEE HER AND NOT ME ?! 

Deer girl: Where are we?

Coral: Just say who you are and skip the questioning, we don't know anything.

Woman in white: I am Ringu and this is Tirsiak.

Ringu and Tirsiak

Origin: Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion

Pronouns: She/It/They for both

Codename: The Monsters

Important Information: lesbians

Asuka: How many more people are coming, anyway?

Norman Alman: It seems that everyone is here.

E. Ray Levant: Your assertion shows no signs of being incorrect.

Norman Alman: Shall we make our exit from this room to greet them?

E. Ray Levant: I am more than pleased with this idea.

The door to the back room opens, and the two crowd members slide into the main area, where literally everyone is staring at them. Except Boss Galaga, it does its own thing.

ENA: Good day to you, sirs! Whatever is it we can assist you with? 

Aubrey: …these are the people who kidnapped us? Literal shadow figures?

Coral: And ‘shadowy fuckers’ didn’t clue you in how ?

Aubrey: I thought you were talking metaphorically!

Natsuki: Yeah, but more importantly, who are you two?

Norman Alman: I am Norman Alman.

E. Ray Levant: And I am E. Ray Levant.

Norman Alman: We recently left the crowd.

E. Ray Levant: Indeed we did, and now we are here.

Norman Alman: You are also here, because we have brought you.

E. Ray Levant: All in twos, to mirror how we are two.

Nicole: What the fuck are you talking about?

Norman Alman: Please do not interrupt.

E. Ray Levant: Interruptions are disruptive.

Norman Alman: And we do not like disruption.

E. Ray Levant: We do not like disruption at all.

Makoto pulls out a sword at the same time as Kotone pulls out a naginata.

Makoto: Is that a threat?

Kotone: No, seriously, is it? I’m not sure at this point.

Norman Alman: It seems the contestants are not reacting well to our retrieval of them, E. Ray Levant.

E. Ray Levant: Most unfortunate. Perhaps we should incentivize them, Norman Alman?

Norman Alman: I believe you are right, my friend.

E. Ray Levant: Then that makes both of us right, which makes me happy as well.

Nicole: Can you get on with this already? Crispin ain’t gonna shoot his own dick off. Well, not yet, anyway. 

Peppa: That girl seems mean. I don’t like mean people!

John: Who in the effing hell brings their child to a bar? 

Daddy Pig: I didn’t mean to come here! I was brought here! And so was Peppa!

Pico: Who brings a child to a bar with that guy, though? 

Daddy Pig: Again, I

Pico: No, you’re fine, it’s obvious we’re dealing with some weird powerful shadow creature things who you wouldn’t have been able to take on. Don’t worry, I’m kinda an expert when it comes to hostage situations!

John: Yeah, you’ve had more practice than the communal glory hole!

Peppa: What’s a glory hole?

Daddy Pig: I’m not sure myself.

Pico: John, I think you should do us all a favour and not open your mouth again. And also just avoid speaking. In fact, just stop doing anything in general.

Nicole: Yeah, who would’ve guessed that the white soldier is also a weirdo and pedophile?

John: Woah, that’s more of a gross exaggeration than the size of my dong! Who would actually like those squiggly little freaks? 

Pico: Please don’t phrase it like that.

Norman Alman: It seems we have gotten sidetracked.

E. Ray Levant: Most unfortunate.

Norman Alman: Do we have a way of getting back on track?

E. Ray Levant: A simple one.

Norman Alman: Ah, I see what you mean! You are clever.

E. Ray Levant: I appreciate your compliment.

Both of them talk.

Norman Alman and E. Ray Levant: Please stop talking before we assimilate you.

Everyone stops, except for one person who has to ask.

Aubrey: What do you mean, ‘assimilate’?

Norman Alman: Would you like to find out?

E. Ray Levant: We are more than happy to show you.

Aubrey: …no, I’m good.

Norman Alman: Excellent!

E. Ray Levant: Let us share the knowledge we have.

Norman Alman: You have been brought here in twos.

E. Ray Levant: The people you know, or are otherwise paired with, are your partners.

Norman Alman: You will undergo a competition.

E. Ray Levant: There will be challenges.

Norman Alman: There will be eliminations.

E. Ray Levant: And only two will remain at the end.

Norman Alman: Two prizes to give out.

E. Ray Levant: These shall be kept a mystery.

Norman Alman: We wish you all luck.

E. Ray Levant: Now we shall open questions.

Pico: Yeah, I have a question. What in the ever loving fuck?

DJ Grooves: We are really dishing out the vulgarities, aren’t we?

Norman Alman: Do we have anything else to share?

E. Ray Levant: It does not appear to be so.

Norman Alman: Then we shall depart.

E. Ray Levant: Until the second challenge.

Both of them go through the back room door. 

PAC MAN: But we haven’t even done the first challenge! How would we be doing a second challenge?

Coral: They’re not entirely reliable.

Blue: Yeah. Also, who am I partne…red… with…

Coral and Blue look at each other.

Blue: You gotta be kidding.

Coral: Well then.

Makoto: Are we partners? Because of the S.E.E.S thing?

Kotone: Probably. Don’t know why we don’t know each other, though. Guess we’ll find out later?

Makoto: Yeah, probably. 

Kotone: Well, I am looking forward to competing in this show! You?

Makoto: I don’t care.

Kotone: …that’s great.

PAC MAN: I don’t have a partner like the others! Seriously, who am I with? I don’t know anyone here! Am I going solo?

Boss Galaga slides in.

PAC MAN: …so yes.

Wario: Waluigi, it’s time for us to show these chumps what we’ve got!

Waluigi: I’ll show them that I’m not just some useless nobody, a mistake of a person, but I am WALUIGI! 

Wario: …

Waluigi: I’m tall. That’s it. That’s the thing I’ll show them.

Wario: We really need to work on your boasts, that was more garbage than the average Pyoro game.

Waluigi: I kinda like them…

Wario: You’re dead to me.

Conductor: So, I guess yer me partner?

DJ Grooves: Conductor, I know we’ve had our differences, like you winning every award except for that time I beat you

Conductor: DO NAE REMIND ME, YE PECK NECK!

DJ Grooves: Look, the point is that we’re both directors, if nothing else. We both know how to get stuff done. If we combine our strengths, we’ll be unstoppable.

Conductor: Aye, that would be fer th’ best. 

DJ Grooves: To a partnership.

They both shake hands.

Kita: Hitori-chan! Hitori-chan, we might be able to win something cool here!

Bocchi is still glitching out.

Kita: Don’t worry, OK? I’ll help you. You won’t even have to talk to other people too much! I know this is pretty scary, but I’m here for you.

Bocchi is finally able to calm down. Now she’s just curled up in a ball and shaking.

Kita: Good enough! Let’s win this! 

Bacon Hair: oh my builderman why did it have to be you

Minecraft Steve places down a sign that says ‘sorry :(‘.

Bacon Hair: whatever let’s do this ####

Rei: We might as well try.

Asuka: No, I don’t want to work with you more than I already have to!

Rei: We don’t have the EVAs here. We’re not going to succeed if we don’t work together.

Asuka: …fine, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or like you , Wondergirl! 

Rei: Of course.

Brian: Well, Stewie, here we are. Didn’t think I’d get CECU’d again.

Stewie: This is worse than the time I was stabbed by the Albuquerque children’s choir.

A moment of silence.

Stewie: WE CAN’T EVEN FUCKING CUTAWAY? THEN WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE?!

Brian: Beats me. 

Marx: Well, Magsy, looks like it’s me and you again!

Magolor: Yes, that is how duos work.

Marx: How you feeling? Ready to sweep?

Magolor: Sure. Hanging with Kirby is nice and all, but I’ll admit that I’ve been itching to show off a little more… power.

Marx: You don’t sound as cool as you think.

Magolor: Had to be you, didn’t it?

Peppa: Daddy, are we together?

Daddy Pig: Yes, Peppa, I think so!

Nicole: Man, fuck these pigs.

Emily: Yeah. Me and you? 

Nicole: As long as we don’t try another suicide pact before we’ve won.

Emily: Yeah, I forgot to bring any pills with me.

Nicole: …does that include your meds?

Emily: Yeah.

Nicole: Shit.

Aubrey: OK, I know we’ve had our differences-

Kel: Yeah, but nothing we can do about that right now, is there? 

Aubrey: Yeah.

Kel: So. Truce?

Aubrey: Truce.

Peppino: Wait, who am I-a with?

The Noise: I think it’s time for you to know the awful truth.

Peppino: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The Noise bursts out into tears.

The Noise: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!

Peppino: Oh, Santa Marina…

Tirsiak: Such strange circumstances these are.

Ringu: You’re the other Specimen 4, yes?

Tirsiak: I think.

Ringu: What do you mean, you think- regardless, me and you can use this as an opportunity to attract people to Spooky’s mansion. A golden chance for soul gathering.

Tirsiak: Oh, yeah, that’s our job. 

Ringu: Here’s to winning.

Naegi: So, you’re another Lucky Student?

Nagito: Yeah, very much so. It’s best exemplified by my meeting the Ultimate Hope! This may be the greatest time of my life! Not that that’s hard, but for everyday trash like me, this is- this is almost too much! 

Naegi: …anyway, I guess we just do these challenges and win, right?

Nagito: Feel free to use me as you must. Use me like a stepping stone, if you must! As long as you keep hope, but of course you will!

Naegi: …

Pico: It could’ve been worse.

John: Well, if we gotta do things together, we might as well work this show harder than a prostitute in the red light district!

Pico: …still could’ve been worse. 

John: Let’s slice their nuts off and fuck them up raw!

Pico: Could’ve been worse.

Pilgor: Beeehh.

GSTFS: Whatever floats your boat, goat. 

Kim: Wait, are we meant to be teammates?

Roxy: I guess?

Kim: Cool.

Roxy: …wanna make out?

Kim: Nah, you’re good.

Roxy deflates.

Sayori: Hi, Nat!

Natsuki: Ayo, Sayo.

Sayori: Oh hey, that rhymes!

Natuski: Told you I was a poet. Ready to rock the competition?

Sayori: I’m hungry.

Natsuki: Good enough! Let’s kick some ass.

Lucas: …

Masked Man: …

3NA: So you’re another me, huh?

ENA: It would appear that way, my compatriot!

3NA: Well, I’m more than confident in our chances here. Here’s to inevitable success.

Norman Alman: Evenly enough, we are still broadcasting, my friend.

E. Ray Levant: But there is nothing else to reveal.

Norman Alman: Maybe we should send out a form to gauge audience interest.

E. Ray Levant: How do we keep on coming up with these great ideas?

Norman Alman: The secret may never be known, E. Ray Levant.

E.Ray Levant: It may not indeed, Norman Alman. 

The form has closed. Thank you for understanding.

Norman Alman: Now we shall say goodbye.

E. Ray Levant: Indeed, this is goodbye.

Norman Alman: We will see you in chapter 2.

E. Ray Levant: Bring a friend, exactly one other.

Norman Alman: We hope for at least two form responses.

E. Ray Levant: We have already gotten more than two kudos.

Norman Alman: For that, we are grateful.

E. Ray Levant: We hope to see you soon.

Another crowd. This one in a city. Everyone walking, talking, doing everything but leaving. All silhouettes, those these ones are multi coloured. One stares at his phone, before putting it what passes for his pocket.

Blue Silhouette: So they have rejected the crowd.

No one listens. No one even notices the Blue Silhouette, for he is but one of many. Another NPC in a world full of such. He does not mind. In fact, he personally rejoices in being unseen. He does not desire the constraints of attention. He does not even desire companionship, though he understands the benefits of having allies if he is to bring the apostates to justice.

A thought occurs to our protagonist. If they were able to reject the crowd, and bring in entities who did not even belong to a crowd, then there must be others. Others who have rejected the crowd. Or maybe they never had a crowd to belong to. He has no sympathy for the apostates, but perhaps he can save the rest of them. Save all the others like them. 

He walks away. To walk out of this city, out of his own crowd, pains him. Once he does this, he will be just as much of a traitor as they are. He will be alone. But he is comforted in knowing he at least has purpose. Someone would always have to do it, after all, and he was simply the one who was chosen for this. He calms himself as he walks out of the city. No one else notices he was even there.

Chapter Text

We open in the bar, where the contestants are talking with each other. We zoom in on Kotone and Makoto, who are currently sitting at a table together.

Kotone: So, you know Aigis?

Makoto: Yes.

Kotone: Ryoji?

Makoto: Yes.

Kotone: Yukari?

Makoto: Do you just want me to list all the S.E.E.S members right now?

Kotone: Ryoji is not part of S.E.E.S, to be fair.

Makoto: I’m pretty sure we know the same people, we just don’t know each other. Which is odd. 

Kotone: Yeah, that’s weird. But then, who are you? 

Makoto: Makoto Yuki. I’ve said this.

Kotone: No, I know your name, but like, spiritually or whatever.

Makoto: I lead S.E.E.S, if it helps.

Kotone: …bro, that’s literally what I do.

Makoto: We… hold on, are you a wildcard? Can you use multiple Personas?

Kotone: Yeah. Wait, does that mean… are we the same person?

Makoto: Alternate versions of each other.

Kotone: …oh my god. That’s… that’s so cool!

Makoto: It’s interesting enough.

Kotone: Stop underreacting, this is awesome! We’re like, clones of each other or something!

Makoto: I don’t think that’s how clones work. 

Kotone: OK, I don’t know exactly what this is-

Coral: Parallel versions.

They both turn to the bean, who had just arrived at the table.

Kotone: Thanks? Where… did you come from?

Coral: It’s a small bar.

Makoto: Why were you listening to us?

Coral: You never just zone out and listen to what other people are saying sometimes? You’re telling me you don’t eavesdrop?

Makoto: …fair.

The conversation dies after that. We cut to Nicole, Emily, and Pico, who are standing at the front door.

Nicole: OK, doing this competition shit is one thing, but I am going to go ballistic if we’re all stuck in this bar.

Pico: …I mean, we can open the door, right? Just see what’s outside? That’s not, really, it doesn’t look like this door is locked or anything, and even if it was, doesn’t look that sturdy. 

Nicole: Then let’s open it.

Pico cautiously pushes the door open.

Pico: Yeah, it’s opeeeeeerrrr, what am I looking at?

The door reveals what seems to be a town, with an sky of swirling colours, twisting and looping roads that beg of you to defy gravity, a static ball where there should be a sun, an uneven and polygonal ground, various shops, and a mixture of creatures, though mostly silhouettes. 

Nicole: This is one weird fever dream. But also, not weird enough to be an actual fever dream or the afterlife. 

Norman Alman: Ah, we are in Doogal Town.

E. Ray Levant: This has most certainly been found out.

Norman Alman: Indeed it has, my friend.

E. Ray Levant: Norman Alman, I would like to know, should we see what the popularity contest results were?

Norman Alman: That would be most agreeable, E. Ray Levant.

E.Ray Levant: Excellent.

Conductor: For cryin’ out loud, can ye stop wi’ th’ double act thingy? 

Norman Alman: The Directors, The Pilots, The ‘Pals’, The Lucky, The Gunners, The Goats, The Canadians, and The Tortured Poets received 2-2 votes.

Conductor: NO VOTES?! B-b-but we’re top class movie directors! I run th’ only train in th’ world!

DJ Grooves: I blame you for this, Conductor.

Conductor: Oh, I’m nae goin’ t’ take that from a 1-star director like yerself.

Asuka: PEOPLE DON’T LIKE ME?! WHAT?!

Stewie: Does this matter? It’s but a simple popularity form, based purely on our brief interactions with each other and maybe external context if they have any. It’s not a reflection of how well we’ll do. 

Brian: I dunno, Stewie, this isn’t a good omen.

Stewie: Given this show’s obsession with the number 2, I wouldn’t be surprised if only two people responded. In which case, what does it matter?

Nagito: Yes, don’t lose hope! Let this invigorate you, instead! You simply have to show that you’re worth caring about, rather than falling into despair this early!

Pico: Who’s who? We never got told what our nicknames were, I don’t know how you guys are figuring…

His eyes dart to a board that lists all the names and team names of the duos.

Pico: You know what, never mind. Also, damn.

John: Do you know how mad I am that the effing pigs got more votes than me?

Pilgor: Meh.

GSTFS: Aw, man, this makes me unhappy.

Kim: Look, being unpopular is cool and all, but-

Roxy: What do you mean, it’s cool?

Kim: Mainstream stuff sucks.

Nicole: Awww, we got a wannabe non-conformist here.

Kim: Anyway, why are we the ‘Canadians’? Was there nothing else you could’ve named us? Whatever, I guess this is life now.

Natsuki: GOD DAMN IT, NO VOTES?!

Sayori: Calm down, Nat, we’ve still got a lot of the game to go! Maybe we’ll get more popular then!

Natsuki: OK, that’s… something, at least.

E.Ray Levant: The Monsters and The Psychics received one vote each. 

Ringu: One supporter is… satisfactory, for now.

Lucas is too busy staring at Masked Man to respond.

Norman Alman: The Classics, The Avatars, The Pigs, The Sociopaths, The Childhood Friends, and The Tower Goer Througers-

The Noise: OK, slight complaint, why is that our name?

E. Ray Levant: -all received two votes.

Norman Alman: A true honour has been bestowed upon you.

E. Ray Levant: You will all get an advantage to be used in a challenge of your choice.

Norman Alman: You will not know what it is.

E.Ray Levant: SImply ask in the challenge itself and you will get it. 

Peppa: Daddy, why weren’t we the most liked?

Daddy Pig: I don’t know, Peppa, but we still did

Peppa: I WANNA BE MOST LIKED! WAH!

Wario: Copyright infringement. Pay me.

Stewie: This is maddening, never mind! How did we lose to a blue pixelated thing and a spoilt child?

PAC MAN: I’m just as shocked as you.

Boss Galaga swoops to the left.

Bacon Hair: i mean this is a surprise but i’m not complaining lol

(author’s note - bacon hair has speech bubble text like actual roblox i forgot to mention that sorry)

Steve crouches and crouch cancels again and again.

Emily: Hey, we’re closer to being popular, now I can be a real celebrity and get the good shit for free!

Nicole: You really want all the news attention, though?

Emily: I’d just waterboard the people who annoy me.

Nicole: Why would you do that? Just stab them and be done with it

Emily: Blackmail, duh. 

Nicole: Who needs blackmail, you’re hot, guys will literally kill themselves for you if they’ll do it for me.

Emily: Not the gay ones. Gotta have extra leverage for them.

Nicole: Oh, no, yeah, I see your point, then.

Aubrey: There is SO MUCH that was wrong with that conversation.

Nicole: Then stop listening to private conversations? Kinda obvious, if you don’t wanna hear something, don’t listen to it?

Kel: Focus on the bright side, Aubrey! We’re doing well in results!

Aubrey: I mean, it’s alright, I guess.

The Noise: ONLY TWO?! For a TV star like myself? I wanted 16!

Peppino: Ignore them, please, for your own safety.

The Noise: You say something, pizza boy?

Peppino: It’s 1-0 so far.

The Noise: Aren’t you normally the shy Italian type who’s too much of a coward to sleep without the lights on?

Peppino: YES. BUT I ALSO HATE YOU MORE.

The Noise: Wow. Way to make it all about yourself.

Peppino: You started doing that!

Norman Alman: The Wildcards, The Inversions, The Bandmates, The Traitors, and The Space Dwellers have gotten more than two votes and less than four.

E. Ray Levant: Now that I think about it, The Guitarists would have been a better fit.

Norman Alman: You are right, E. Ray Levant, and we should make that change now.

E. Ray Levant: The change is made, Norman Alman.

Kotone: Hey, we’re liked!

Makoto: I don’t care.

Kotone: Huh. We’re pretty different for the same person, aren’t we?

Makoto: That’s just life.

Wario: Excellent showing! 

Waluigi: Yeah!

Kita: We’re well liked? We’re well liked! Isn’t this good, Hitori-chan?

Bocchi is playing chess against herself. It’s unclear if she even knows how to play.

Kita: Oh. Still, this is good! I’m really happy about this!

Marx: We got the same amount!

Magolor: Thank you for your support, weird audience that is presumably out there!

Marx: How would they vote if they weren’t out there, dumbass? Honestly, you say some weird things, Magolor.

Magolor: Like you can talk about ‘weird’ in any context.

Marx: ( sniff ) Why must you bully me like this… I thought we had something together…

Kita: Awww, it’s OK, little guy!

Magolor: That ‘little guy’ can split into a black hole.

Kita jumps away in shock.

Kita: THAT’S POSSIBLE?!

Bocchi goes stone grey while most of the cast just goes pale.

Marx: You know how it is. Make a wish, become a god, and that’s just life!

Aubrey: Wh-NO, THAT IS NOT JUST LIFE!

Coral: Thanks for the votes. I’m going to be honest, given my… partner… I was expecting less. Thanks again.

Blue: The fuck is that supposed to mean?

Coral does not respond.

Makoto: Who even is your partner?

Coral: Oh, you know.

Aubrey: Why would he be asking if he knew?

Coral: People make irrational decisions all the time. You know, like blaming an innocent person for their death.

Aubrey: …what?

Blue: Why are you even bothering to deny it still?

GSTFS: Did you know, that goats aren’t actually reptiles.

A moment of silence.

Norman Alman: The Polygonal Ones are the winners of this popularity contest.

E. Ray Levant: This is because they gained 5 votes. 

ENA: Most splendid of an occurrence, this is!

3NA: 5 is good. ( meanie voice ) But there’s a catch, isn’t there? Nothing goes that good for me!

Aubrey: Seriously? 5 votes and you’re complaining? You got two more than the rest of us!

Norman Alman and E. Ray Levant seem to react positively to that.

3NA: ( salesman voice ) If something seems too good to be true, there is a distinct possibility it is, or you’re simply excessively lucky, something I know myself not to be.

ENA: ( sad voice ) I don’t wanna see things go bad!

Norman Alman: Now for the other portion of votes.

E. Ray Levant: Those being for the least popular contestants.

Norman Alman: But first, we shall display voting reasons.

E. Ray Levant: They are on a screen outside in Doogal Town.

The contestants look to find a projection on the opposite building, being ‘Smooth Buildings Ltd’.

• Kevin - They are simply my favorite characters, here and sometimes in other media like Freedom! Island Deluxe. ...named Ross of shows will not be often, don't worry (The Inversions, The Tower Goer Throughers)
• Upsilon - Bandmates: yuri
  Pigs: it would be REALLY funny (The Guitarists, The Pigs)
• 31337 - 7H3 P5YCHIC5 83C4U53 7H3Y D353RV3 4 H4PPY 3NDING .
  7H3 P0190N4L 0N35 B3C4U53 TH3Y’R3 3N73R74IN9 . (The Psychics, The Polygonal Ones)
• Zackolmi - The funny (The Pigs, The Sociopaths)
• White_Tiger - 1. wario gonna win.
  2. wario is gonna win.
  3. hehe funny mogus
• The Musical Fish - Silly billys (The Traitors, The Polygonal Ones)
• Dshikanoko Nokonoko Koshitantan - I pick... WAAAAAAAAAAAARIO! ...and Robbie Rotten.
  
  Also, SJM bias goes crazy
  
  I almost picked Nat (ft. Sayo), Ninja Sex-Bob-Omb, and Pizza Pasta, tho. It was a close call between the 5. (The Inversions, The Monsters)
• anonymouse - both groups have such fun potential dynamics that i cannot WAIT to see more of ^u^ (The Avatars, The Space Dwellers)
• VoltFalcon - Because thier top and bottom of the list
  
  Also I think their dynamics with each other will be the most interesting (The Wildcards, The Polygonal Ones)
• PingasMaster - Ok (The Guitarists, The Childhood Friends)
• E̶i̶g̶h̶t̶. - lesbians and silly people. (The Guitarists, The Traitors)
• Curiosity_Guest - Huh, Well me and Guest like Video game characters
  [Ehh I don't know all of them but we chose what we know]
  And hey DUO! (The Classics, The Avatars)
• ADAGE - Oh hey I chose the first and the last (the alpha and the omega-). That’s neat (The Wildcards, The Polygonal Ones)
• G - Magolor my goat (same with Galliga but preference) And I find The Soiciopaths funny. (The Traitors, The Sociopaths)
• Couldve been qorse - I killed a person once (The Classics, The Polygonal Ones)
• June - 1. Pizza Tower is a really cool game
  2. The dynamic (The Tower Goer Throughers, The Space Dwellers)
• Scholar of Systems, William Gnaritas The LORE guy - The Wildcards because of Persona bias
  The Childhood Friends beacuse of omor
  
  Tiiiiiiiissssss fucking I the LORE guy here to give either lore or fun facts about some of ye
  Fun fact: Both Makoto and Kotone became doors at the end of their journey.
  Fun Fact x2 (because its on theme with the comp): there is a ghost it is Coral's teammate unfortunately Coral is impostor cause i saw them stab blue. (The Wildcards, The Childhood Friends)

Coral: If I was an ‘imposter’, as you imply, William, then would I not be with ‘The Traitors’, rather than on my own with a figment of my imagination?

Blue: SERIOUSLY?!

The Noise: I object to the name ‘Tower Goer Throughers’, just so you know. Who even came up with that name?

Brian: Doesn’t matter, they share the exact same personality.

Norman Alman: It was Crowd Member #3.

E. Ray Levant: May he never feel peace.

Naegi: You mentioned a crowd that you’d ‘left’ earlier, as well. What is the ‘crowd’? Where did you two come from? 

Natsuki: And why are your names like that?

Everyone turns to Natsuki.

Natsuki: Seriously? Normal Man and Irrelevant? Was I the only one who noticed? 

Norman Alman: Who is this Normal Man and Irrelevant?

E. Ray Levant: We only know ourselves as Norman Alman and E. Ray Levant.

Coral: …look, there are bigger questions surrounding every aspect of this strange ‘competition’ thing. But we need to get through it. I mean, if they brought us here - and some of us, like Ringu, are ghosts-

Blue: You point out HER and not THE PERSON YOU KILLED?! Are you TRYING to annoy me?

Coral: -it’s fairly easy to guess that we’re not going to be getting out of here too easily. 

Peppa: Daddy, what does ‘lesbians’ mean?

Daddy Pig: People who have strayed from God.

Peppa: Oh, OK! 

Pico: I’m feeling a lot more confident now!

Kotone: Congratulations on your relationship, Kita and Hitori! I don’t suppose there’s room for one more?

Kita: What? We’re not even in a relationship! ( mumbling ) Yet…

Makoto: Shameless.

Kotone: No, I just know what I want. 

ENA: ( happy voice ) I wonder when we are going to be moving on to the most efficient at being the least popular? ( sad voice ) It’s probably me…

3NA: ( meanie voice ) HEY! BE OPTIMISTIC ALREADY! ( salesman voice ) But yes, let’s see what happens next.

Norman Alman: The Inversions, The Tower Goer Throughers, The Monsters, The Lucky, and The Space Dwellers have lost no votes due to not being voted least popular.

Bacon Hair: well done, naegi, you kept the same point total!

Naegi: We have zero votes.

Bacon Hair: my statement is still valid

The Noise: Who could ever hate The Noise, of course! Hopefully everyone, it drives up ratings.

Peppino: How does it drive up-

E. Ray Levant: The Wildcards, The Directors, The Guitarists, The Avatars, The ‘Pals’, The Traitors, The Childhood Friends, The Tortured Poets, and The Psychics have received one vote against them.

Bacon Hair: we stay winning

Stewie: Say what you will, -1 votes in total isn’t the worst score. 

Brian: It’s pretty bad, though.

Sayori: Aw, we’re not doing well? 

Natsuki: As you said, there’s still time! We can, we can still pull through!

Sayori: OK!

DJ Grooves: Well, I have to say, this is not our finest outing.

Kita: Only one person didn’t like us! We’re still in it to win it!

Norman Alman: The Pilots, The Canadians, The Sociopaths, and The Polygonal Ones gained two votes against them.

E. Ray Levant: What a great number indee

John: YES, WE GET IT ALREADY!

Nicole: I expected more, honestly.

Asuka: Two against us? And no one with us? That’s pathetic, we can do better than that! I blame you , Wondergirl.

Rei: Good for you.

3NA: ( salesman ) 3 is far from a bad vote quota.

ENA: ( sad ) People don’t like me…

Norman Alman: The Gunners received three votes against them.

Pico: Dammit. 

E. Ray Levant: The Pigs went down by four votes.

Peppa: Daddy, why are these people not liking me? That’s mean! You’re all mean!

Daddy Pig: Well, Peppa, I have to say, this is not good!

Marx: It’s not good, guys. Hear that? It’s not good.

PAC MAN: I notice we haven’t been mentioned quite yet.

Norman Alman: The Classics and The Goats.

E. Ray Levant: Five votes.

PAC MAN: Yeah, that’s… about what I expected.

Norman Alman: There are reasons why.

E. Ray Levant: They shall be displayed.

And it is so.

• Kevin - Pico is just unfortunately dragged down with his worser teammate. And Marx. I know you know who I am. I just think this'll be funny. Until next time friends! (The Traitors, The Gunners)
• Upsilon - classics: what does galaga even DO...
  gunners: shur ip captain (The Classics, The Gunners)
• 31337 - TH3R3 4R3 R0B10X CH4R4CTH3R5 TH4T 4R3 5IMPLY M0R3 IN73R357IN9 1IK3 J0HN D03 4ND J4N3 D03 0R SH3DL375KY 0R JU57 4 R4ND0M 9U35T WH0 W0ULD B3 M0R3 IN73R357ING TH4N B4C0N H4IR ( 5T3V3 I5 FIN3 )
  4L50 I’V3 N3V3R W47CH3D 3V4NG3LI0N (The Avatars, The Pilots)
• Zackolmi - I just picked at randumb lol (The Classics, The Directors)
• White_Tiger - the goat is NOT my GOAT (The Sociopaths, The Goats)
• The Musical Fish - Just chose at random, I don't actually not prefer them. (The Tortured Poets, The Psychics)
• Dshikanoko Nokonoko Kishitantan - The pigs are just annoying and the sociopaths... anti-vibes, I guess. (The Pigs, The Sociopaths)
• anonymouse - for The Goats: nothing personal, goatsim goat, but i haven't the slightest clue or care about who the other guy is
  for The Polygonal Ones: again, nothing personal, ENAs, but you two act so similarly to each other i might not be able to tell you two apart 😭😭😭 (The Goats, The Polygonal Ones)
• VoltFalcon - Least memorable and the Goats just disappear from the script I think (The Goats, The Canadians)
• PingasMatser - Ok (The Wildcards, The Classics)
• E̶i̶g̶h̶t̶. - they don't really add much. (The Classics, The Goats)
• Curiosity_Guest - [it's not that I dislike Anime]
  Guest doesn't know too much anime (The Guitarists, The Pilots)
• ADAGE - This truly is a disturbing universe (The Pigs, The Goats)
• G - Let me off of the Family Guy's wild ride, and I deem The Gunners unfunny (The ‘Pals’, The Gunners)
• Couldve been qorse - I HATE PEOPLE BEING HAPPY (The Childhood Friends, The Polygonal Ones)
• June - I just like the Classics less than everyone else ig. Also the Pigs are there too (The Classics, The Pigs)
• Scholar of Systems, William Gnaritas The LORE guy - Random choice (The Pigs, The Canadians)

Marx: …who the fuck are you? What was it, ‘Kevin’? Yeah, I have no clue who you are. 

Conductor: Random choice? RANDOM CHOICE?! Ye try t’ ruin me mental health fer RANDOM CHOICE?!

Asuka: What does anime have to do with LITERALLY ANYTHING?! And what do you mean, you’ve never ‘watched’ Evangelion? It’s a giant robot, you can’t know what it is without watching that, especially if you know I’m the pilot, you imbecile!

Norman Alman: We will provide you with a few moments before the first challenge begins.

E. Ray Levant: You may now go outside.

Norman Alman: We will call for you when it is time for the challenge.

E. Ray Levant: Goodbye for now.

The two silhouettes dart into the back room of the bar.

There is a moment of silence. Stewie is the first to break it.

Stewie: What the devil are you all waiting for?

Stewie exits the bar, and many follow. Kita is not one of them, for the simple reason she is trying to get Bocchi to go.

Kita: OK, this whole thing is getting weirder, but there’s a whole new world to explore! We can meet new people!

That thought does not comfort the currently decomposing Bocchi.

Kita: Yeah, that was a stupid point to make. But, uh, we may be able to find new guitars! Because we’ll need some, because we… don’t have ours. I don’t know about you, but I think it would help while we’re in this weird place.

Bocchi nods meekly as the two leave.

They step outside onto a road made of carpet, before walking to ‘music shop lmao’. They find DJ Grooves, Kim, and The Lucky to already be inside. 

Kita: Hello! 

Nagito: Ah, The Guitarists! May I ask if you could demonstrate your talent? Well, after you find the guitars, of course.

A silhouette stands at the counter, with a nametag saying ‘Songman’.

Songman: We sell music!

Pico enters the store.

Pico: Got any KMFDM? 

Songman: You can find that on the shelf on your left! 

Pico turns to find a spray can labelled ‘KMFDM’.

Pico: …good enough. How much would that be?

Songman: 3 YEARS PAYMENT.

Pico: What does that mean? 

Songman: If you are confused about anything, please go to school.

Kim: I am not going back to school.

Songman: But that is where the information is! How else will you learn? 3 YEARS PAYMENT.

Pico: Never mind. I should be able to find something else.

Pico exits, as do a dejected Bocchi and Kita.

Kita: That hasn’t really helped with anything, has it? B-but don’t worry! We’ll find something, somewhere’s gotta sell instruments, right? For actual money?

Bocchi nods as they continue their fruitless quest. We follow Naegi, who had exited the shop earlier without Nagito.

Naegi: Might be best to look around. Maybe go to that school. 

He walks through the town, getting more and more annoyed.

Naegi: Why couldn’t these buildings have looked different?

He encounters a deep pit with a sign saying ‘school’.

Naegi: I take it back.

Magolor: Yeah, pretty strange, isn’t it?

Naegi turns to the blue cloaked Halcandrian.

Magolor: Sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you. 

Naegi: No, it’s fine. 

Magolor: So, how are you feeling about this endeavour?

Naegi: Confused, disoriented, and slightly nauseous.

Magolor: You know what, that’s fair.

Naegi: As for you? 

Magolor: Where I’m from, dimension travelling is pretty normal. I’m not used to all the humans, though, or even just humanoid creatures in general! So this makes for a nice deviation from the norm. Oh, look at me, getting carried away. Tell me about yourself… Makoto, was it?

Naegi: Yeah. I go to, or went to, Hope’s Peak Academy, before it was taken over by Junko Enoshima and turned into a killing game after the outside world was practically destroyed.

Magolor: Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate.

Naegi: …putting it lightly there. How about you?

Magolor: Oh, I crashed onto a planet.

Naegi: … what.

Magolor: I just said dimensional travel was common, you’re really doubting my ability for intergalactic travel? Though I suppose this was still interdimensional. Halcandra’s weird like that. 

Naegi: …sounds it.

A voice rings out through the loudspeakers around the town.

Norman Alman: Hello, contestants of DOS.

E. Ray Levant: DOS being the name of our show, of course.

Norman Alman: Indeed.

E. Ray Levant: We are beginning the first challenge.

Norman Alman: The challenge is this.

E. Ray Levant: A trust fall.

Norman Alman: One of you must fall.

E. Ray Levant: And your designated duo member must catch you.

Norman Alman: The last 2x2x2x2 duos to fall will be up for elimination.

E. Ray Levant: Goodbye for now.

Norman Alman: That was most excellently explained, E. Ray Levant.

E. Ray Levant: Thank you and the same goes for you, Norman Alman.

The loudspeakers switch off.

Magolor: …well, I better find my partner. And hope to Nova that Marx doesn’t screw this up. I don’t have high hopes. Nice talking with you, and if you ever need a friend, Magolor’s here for you!

Magolor floats away.

Naegi: Sure? I guess I better find Nagito.

We cut to Nagito.

Nagito: Ah, The Inversions, was it? 

Wario: That’s us. Whaddya want? We’re busy here.

They are currently at a casino.

Nagito: I hope you don’t mind scum like me asking what you’re busy with.

Waluigi: We’re cheating!



Waluigi knocks over and breaks a slot machine, taking all the money from it.

Nagito: Ah, splendid!



Nagito taps a slot machine and the machine fires money at him.

Wario and Waluigi’s jaws literally drop to the floor.

Wario: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!

Nagito: I’m no Ultimate Gambler, but I have extremely good luck. Wasted on a talentless being like myself, of course, but what can you do?

Wario: I have a business proposition for you.

Waluigi: Shouldn’t we do the challenge?



Wario sweeps the legs of Waluigi, sending him flying, before suplexing him.

Wario: That counts, right?

Sure enough, a ‘ding’ sound plays as a green tick shines above The Inversions for a few seconds.

Waluigi: …ow…

Nagito: So that’s how we know we’re safe. Interesting. I should find my teammate. I don’t want the Ultimate Hope dragged down.

Nagito makes his exit.

Wario: That guy seems like a weirdo, ay, Waluigi?

Waluigi: Everything hurts.

We follow the white haired boy as he walks past The Wildcards and The Polygonal Ones, who have already done their trust falls. He encounters BoKita, The Avatars, and The Monsters.

Nagito: Hello again, The Guitarists!

Kita: Hi, uh… I’m so sorry, I forgot your name!

Nagito: Don’t worry about it.

Bacon Hair: i’m going to worry about it. just to spite you. how does it feel, i’m worrying about it, yeah, you must be soooo spited now at my concern, you’re getting worried about like no one’s ever worried before.

Kita and Ringu look like they’re trying to decipher that sentence for 17 seconds before giving up.

Nagito: Anyway, you should get on with the challenge.

Bacon Hair: True!

Bacon Hair falls. Steve has walked away somewhere. Bacon Hair breaks into pieces.

Bacon Hair: THAT ####### ##### ###### ######## I’LL ####### ### #### ###### ### ### #### ## ### ### ## ### ##### ######## ###### YOU WILL NEVER BE LOVED YOU #### ####### ##### ######### ########

Everyone edges away from Bacon Hair slowly.

Nagito: Well, that seems like a failure on all accounts. And here I had thought I was among talented individuals….

Ringu: What made you believe that?

Nagito: Mostly the names. I suppose that ‘The Avatars’ isn’t the most prestigious of names, should really have tipped me off. Do any of you know where the Ultimate Hope is?



A moment of silence.

Kita: Who?

Nagito: Makoto Naegi? The Ultimate Hope? You don’t know who he is? We really must be from alternate universes, there is no way any self respecting person wouldn’t know Makoto Naegi.

Kita: Sorry if I offended you or anything! Please don’t hate me.

Nagito: It’s fine.

Nagito leaves, smiling as he does so.

Tirsiak: Ringu, shouldn’t we do the challenge?



Ringu grins.

Tirsiak: …uh, Ringu…

Ringu sweeps Tirsiak off her feet, tosses her in the air, and grabs her in a bridal carry. This counts.

Ringu: Challenge done.

Tirsiak: O_o

Kita: …huh. 

Bacon Hair: ok screw this i want to swear

Bacon Hair unmutes, and a loud, incoherent sound is made that shocks Bocchi, who almost faints. Kita just about stops her fall. The tick shines above them. Bacon Hair remutes upon realizing he accidentally helped the competition.

We cut to The Childhood Friends, who have not left the bar.

Aubrey: …so, uh, do you want to do the fall?

Kel: I mean, sure?

Kel falls. Aubrey steps out of the way.

Kel: OWWWWW! What was THAT for?



Aubrey snickers.

Aubrey: Couldn’t help myself, sorry.

Kel grumbles as he gets back up.

Kel: No need at all…

This time, Aubrey does actually catch him, enough for the tick to sound, before dropping him.

Aubrey: Done. See ya, loser.

Aubrey walks out, where she is then blocked from exiting by The Pigs.

Aubrey: Hey, get out of the way already!

Peppa: Daddy, that girl seems mean! I don’t think you should let her out. Your big tummy will block her.

Daddy Pig: Peppa, that’s not a very nice thing to say! But I will keep standing here.

Aubrey: Are you kidding me. 

Kel: HA!

Aubrey: You’re trapped in here too, idiot! 

Kel: Oh, that’s not good.

Aubrey: YOU THINK?!

Cut to The Classics.

PAC MAN: Come on, this should be simple, just fall or something, right?

Boss Galaga shakes left and right.

PAC MAN: Was that meant to be a ‘no’? I don’t know what you’re saying. 

Boss Galaga grabs PAC MAN with its tractor beam.

PAC MAN: HEY, WHAT IS THAT FOR?!

Boss Galaga retracts the beam, letting PAC MAN fall, before grabbing him with the tractor beam again.

PAC MAN: WHAT WERE YOU- 

The tick shows.

PAC MAN: OK, I guess that worked, but you couldn’t have told me beforehand?

Boss Galaga drops PAC MAN before flying away.

PAC MAN: Seriously, why did that thing have to be my teammate?

Cut to The Pilots, The Directors, and The Canadians, the latter having already done the fall and the other two having more difficulty.

Conductor: Yer really think I’m gonna trust YOU, of all birds, t’ catch ME? 

DJ Grooves: You don’t really have another choice, darling. Unless you want to be voted out for acts of sabotage, of course. Which would be fine by me.

Conductor: If yer drop me, then things won’t be goin’ so fine fer you.

DJ Grooves: You’re all bark and no bite. You can’t even make a good movie!

Conductor: If my movies are bad, then I don’t even know what yers would be.

DJ Grooves: Look, I don’t trust you and you’re overly paranoid, I get it.

Kim: Wow , you two are annoying. 

Roxy: Can we leave these people, then? They’re bugging me now.

Kim: You… don’t need my permission for anything.

Roxy: We’re teammates.

Kim: We don’t have to be attached at the hip, though.

Roxy: Oh, fair.

Roxy and Kim walk in separate directions.

Asuka: Rude. 

Rei: Pilot of EVA 02, should we

Asuka falls into Rei’s arms immediately before getting up.

Conductor: …that was much faster than either of us.

Asuka: Hah! You’re really going to let your disdain for someone stop you from doing well in these challenges? Pff, what are you, stupid? 

Asuka leaves.

Conductor: …er, she has a point, I guess. Yer know what, peck this.

Conductor falls. DJ Grooves does not catch him.

Conductor: WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YE NO GOOD PECK NECK?!

DJ Grooves: Darling, you did it without warning, how was I supposed to catch you in time? Do it again.

Conductor: Nay, ye jus’ lost th’ right t’ demand that! YOU fall!

DJ Grooves: And let you get me back intentionally ? I think not.

They start screaming at each other again as we cut to The ‘Pals’, who have already done the fall.

Brian: This has to be the stupidest challenge they could’ve chosen. I mean, who can’t do a trust fall, of all things?

Stewie: No, I’d imagine they have worse challenges in store, in terms of both difficulty and stupidity. Alright, who’s finished so far?

Brian: W-why do you think I would know? I can’t see them, can I?

Stewie: I don’t know, I’m just checking. 

Brian: Why would you even bother to check? That’s like, it’s an obvious, how would I even know? 

Stewie: You’ve established self awareness already, I was testing the limits of said self awareness.

Brian: I’m not omniscient or anything, Stewie. You-you know I’m not some all knowing god, right? You can tell because I exist.

Stewie: For god’s sake, Brian, we have literally met Jesus before several times and you still have to drag out this routine again and again and again. It gets boring after a while, you know.

Brian: Excuse me for questioning everything. And besides, doesn’t look like there’s a god here, does there?

Stewie: Which is completely irrelevant to the existence of one in our universe, which you have verified yourself, and- why are we even still talking about this? 

GSTFS: Nothing could possibly ruin this perfect day!

Stewie: …well, at least we’re not in danger for a while.

Pilgor appears.

GSTFS: I’m allergic to goats.

Pilgor headbutts GSTFS and licks him before he hits the floor, thus catching him. It’s unclear if she even knew there was a challenge going on or whether she just felt like doing that.

GSTFS: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Stewie: There is no way they’re safe.

A tick plays.

Stewie: How the devil did they manage it? 

Cut to Coral, who has found a secluded alley away from people.

Coral: Blue. Blue, are you there?

Blue floats through a wall.

Blue: You.

Coral: Yes, we’ve established I exist and that. Look, do you want to do the challenge, or do you want to fail? And don’t give me the ‘I can’t catch you’ or the ‘you can’t catch me’ spiel, you can do tasks and so you’re clearly able to touch and be touched, presumably.

Blue: Only works on my end, though.

Coral: Oh, and since I know you’ll do this, if you even think about dropping me, I’m going to get every contestant I can to vote for you. Because regardless of your unfounded crusade against me, I’m not going to have dead weight for a teammate. You understand that, right? I don’t want to work with someone who’s going to be worthless.

Blue: …the audacity. The sheer, brazen audacity to say this to the person you killed.

Coral: Yet again, that was a Shapeshifter and I did not kill you. 

Blue: Stop lying. Right now, just stop. If I’m going to catch you, then I want you to apologize! You understand me? APOLOGIZE for what you did.

Coral notices The Psychics and PAC MAN nearby.

Coral: …tell you what. Come closer.

Blue floats closer to Coral.

Who then grabs a knife and slices the ghost.

Coral: Now, let’s see…

Sure enough, the knife glows, while Blue is nowhere to be seen.

Coral: Excellent! Looks like we can cooperate after all without being blackmailed into confessing to crimes that were never committed.

Coral flips the knife in the air just before Blue gets out of it.

And a tick plays.

Blue: YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKER! YOU’RE AN EVIL MONSTER, YOU’RE UNWORTHY OF LIFE, YOU… where’d you go?



Coral is gone.

Blue: I’m going to kill you. One way or another, I’m going to kill you .

Lucas hears this, but he does not absorb the words, being more focused on Masked Man. 

Masked Man: …

Lucas: Um, Claus?..

The Masked Man is silent.

Lucas: …can you even speak?

Masked Man: Yes.

Its voice is completely monotone and emotionless.

Lucas: …can you catch me?



The Masked Man nods, before outstretching his arms. Lucas looks wary. But even so, whether it be a logical thought or simply misplaced hope, Lucas takes a deep breath and falls, indeed being caught by Masked Man.

Lucas: …thank you, Claus.

The Masked Man does not respond. PAC MAN starts walking away and we follow him as he passes The Sociopaths, who have already done the fall. He stops when he encounters a certain jester.

Marx: Hey, hey, hey! What’s up, yellow guy?

PAC MAN: Nothing? I’m just walking around, just taking in the scenery.

Marx: That’s cool, that’s cool. Did you know that frogs swallow things with their eyes?

PAC MAN: …what?

Nicole: Why the fuck would anyone know that? Why would anyone want to know that?

Marx: Anyway, anyone seen Magsy anywhere?

PAC MAN: He went into the bar.

Marx: Oh, cool! Let me guess, used a rift because those dumbass pigs are blocking the entrance?

PAC MAN: No, he went in before they started doing that.

Marx: OK! Thank you for the help! 

Marx moves towards the bar.



Marx: Hey, hey, hey! You guys mind moving out of the way so I can get in already? 

Peppa: Daddy, why does that grape look so weird?

3NA: What would you really call weird? Because if something’s weird, then that just means you haven’t seen it yet, and then you will see it more, and soon enough, you’re the weird one for being normal. Remember that when you’re lying in your broken dreams.

Marx: What she said!

Daddy Pig: I don’t understand what any of that meant, but it seemed rude, so I’m not going to move! Next time, have manners.

Marx: Is this even an accurate personality? Oh, who cares, let’s talk more! Get to know each other! What’s your name? Age? Blood type? Gender identity, sexuality, criminal charges, worst regret, voting record, that kind of stuff.

Daddy Pig: I’m not moving for your weirdness! You’ve upset poor Peppa!

Peppa: WAH! HE’S SO WEIRD!

Marx: OK, gotta clear that up. I don’t do that whole ‘gender’ thing. Honestly, I’d prefer to just use my name in any situation, only reason I use ‘they’ and ‘it’ is to differentiate myself from all the other Marxes out there. You know how it is! Just call me Marx. Like, just Marx. That’s easy to remember, right? Don’t answer that, it was a rhetorical question.

Daddy Pig: How can you not- I’m not playing your mind games, man .

Marx: OK! Then don’t! But do move out of the way.

Peppa: Don’t do it for him!

Marx: …I literally just… you know what, let’s make this easier! You have two options right now. You stay there or you stay alive . What will it be, Bluey?

Daddy Pig: Pfft, what could you

Daddy Pig sees it. Enlarged eyes, staring at him, a manic glint in them to match a deranged grin, fangs perfectly on show. Pterodactyl wings of crystal bursting out from either side, almost mesmerizing, even as all colour fades from the terrain, even as the hue shifts into a deep purple, all colour gone from the creature currently looking at him. His ears ring, his heart beats against his chest, his breath almost stops. Every cell in his body is screaming at him, his blood swirling around uncomfortably. His limbs all feel slack. He needs to scream but he cannot. It feels as if the world itself is closing in on him, like he is a child who walked into a scene they shouldn’t have. All this, in the span of two seconds, before everything is normal to the world, the pigs being the only ones aware of what they just felt. Peppa does not start bawling, for once. She does not do anything. She is completely still. Daddy Pig wordlessly moves out of the way, trembling as he does so.

Marx: Glad we could come to an agreement!



Marx strolls into the bar, where Magolor is.

Magolor: Seriously? That old trick? You pulled it on a child ?

Marx: You gotta do what you gotta do!

Magolor: You didn’t ‘gotta’ do that, though. At all. Ever heard of ‘disproportionate retribution’?

Marx: It’ll probably wear off in two hours or so. This show’s hosts would be proud of me for that!

Magolor: Let’s just do the challenge. And then you’re not leaving my sight.

Marx: What? I didn’t even do anything!

Magolor: You beamed images of horrific car crashes into the minds of a family of ducklings. Not even the weird silhouettes, you went for the ducks. And you also crystalized the teacher in Class 3-B in the school. And you also just traumatized someone who’s 6 at best because her dad wasn’t moving out of your way when there were perfectly good windows you could’ve gone in. And you also ate the beloved family pet in one of the houses on the left. And that’s just what I found out.

Marx: OK, OK, jeez! You never let me have any fun anymore.

Magolor: Oh, yeah, you also turned Marcus down the street inside out. Full disclosure, the digestive system of a silhouette wasn’t something I wanted to see. Ever.

Marx: OK, I’ll stop. Just for you, Magsy!

Magolor: I’m still keeping you under surveillance.

Marx: Damn it.

Magolor: Anyway…

Marx jumps up and Magolor catches Marx.

Marx: Oh, Magsy, you’re truly my hero!



Magolor’s hands are set aflame.



Marx: OWOWOWOWOWOW OK I’M SORRY!

Magolor: Good. 

We cut to The Tortured Poets and The Gunners.

Pico: Why haven’t you guys done it yet?

Natsuki: Neither of us are that strong, I’m trying to find an angle that means we don’t injure each other, dumbass! Why haven’t you done anything yet?

Pico: Because we hate each other.

John: And also because I’ve been busy removing everything that could serious injury to either of us from my armour.

Natsuki and Sayori glance over at a pile of weaponry.

Sayori: Woah, that’s big!

Natsuki: What the fuck. 

John: That’s all the obvious stuff, at least. 

Pico: Good to know.

Pico falls and is caught by John. The tick plays and they both get off of each other, John putting all his weaponry on.

John: All that for this to be over quicker than your mom when she sees me.

Pico: I am leaving now.

Pico leaves.

Sayori: Nat, I think we’re in the last 6!

Natsuki: Oh, OK, sorry, I’ll let you catch me cause you’re bigger.

Sayori: In what way?

Natsuki: In every way, I know, you don’t have to brag about it! Whatever, let’s just end this.

Natsuki is then knocked to the floor by the shockwaves of Peppino’s speed as he catches The Noise, who had been skydiving.

The Noise: Aw, shit, I was hoping to get you out.

Norman Alman: We are now at the final 10.

E. Ray Levant: Only two more can be safe now.

Nagito Komaeda finds Naegi at that moment.

Nagito: We should make this simple, right?

Natsuki: No, we can’t let them win! Sayori, now!

Natsuki falls and is caught by Sayori.



Norman Alman: The Directors, The Avatars, The Pigs, and The Lucky have lost.

E. Ray Levant: Eliminations will be held at the bar.

The loudspeaker switches off.

Nagito: Oh. That’s a shame.

Cut to Bacon Hair.

Bacon Hair: STEVE YOU TRAITOROUS ### ####### ########

Steve walks over to Bacon Hair, crouch cancels a few times, and then starts mining the ground.

Bacon Hair: this is why terraria is better.

Cut to Peppa and Daddy Pig, with Peppa still too in shock to say anything.



Daddy Pig: What’s wrong, Peppa? Cheer up already!

Peppa: That… that jester… Marx … I understand, I understand and I don’t want to understand. I… I’ve been 

NO

Peppa: WAH! THAT JESTER WAS MEAN!

Daddy Pig: How rude indeed! We’ll have to make sure he does not get a good place here.

Marx: It’s like no one ever pays attention, you know?

Magolor: Alright, yeah, at this point they’re only making things worse for themselves.

Marx: So

Magolor: That does NOT mean you get to turn them into pork.

Marx: Booooorriiiiiiinnnggggg.

Cut to The Lucky.

Naegi: We lost, huh?

Nagito: Luck cycles, am I right?

Cut to The Directors.

Conductor: I-i-i-WE LOST TH’ EASIEST CHALLENGE?!

DJ Grooves: I wonder why.

Conductor: OH, DON’T YER GIVE ME THAT, YE F-TIER, SECOND-RATE, AFRO-WEARIN’, MOON-DANCIN’, AWARD-STEALIN’, PECK NECK!

Cut to Norman Alman and E. Ray Levant.



Norman Alman: Make your choice, please.

E. Ray Levant: The link is below.

Norman Alman: We will see you soon! This competition business is such fun.

E. Ray Levant: I agree! I am very much in enjoyment of this!

You have missed your chance.

Voting is closed.

Our protagonist walks on. 

Tired? Lonely? Determined? It is unclear what exactly he feels. It is clear where he ends up, however, being a seemingly empty cave. He knows better than to assume it is empty. It does not change the fact that it may be the fastest way to his destination.

He enters the cave. He does not bother to try and be quiet. He will sustain no worthwhile damage.

???: Hello, new friend!



A small, yellow man looks up at him, in a T position. His head stretches around to look at the Blue Silhouette.

Stretchy man: You look weird. No face, no clothes that I can see, no nothing! What’s your name?

Blue Silhouette: Name?

Stretchy man: Yeah, a name. Everyone has one. I’m Richard (Dick for short). You?



Our protagonist ignores Richard (Dick for short) and continues to walk on. He is, yet again, blocked, this time by a gorilla.

Gorilla: The fuck are you?

Three’s a crowd.

Blue Silhouette: You are now both part of The Crowd.

They are confused. They do not realize that they are already in the crowd. Our protagonist does not even assimilate them yet. It is a waste for now. He is patient. He will do only what is needed when it is needed for his aims. 

He walks on. The two end up following him, out of pure intrigue. They have already sealed their fate.