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Chapter Text

Isak

The first time I saw him, I knew. It was the confirmation I had so desperately needed and yet avoided—the long-awaited Eureka moment when everything would fall into place, making me a whole person worthy of something I’ve craved but have never had.

Living in fear of my family and their rejection, ridicule, and abandonment turned me into a cynical, cold person whose day-to-day life was a tragic comedy of errors. 

I’m not sure many people have reached their early thirties and have never had a relationship with someone, but I am living proof that they exist. Exist—that’s what I feel I have been doing all my life—just existing, nothing more, nothing less. 

In all my years working here, I have never attended any staff functions. I do not want to be the sad singleton watching drunken colleagues at the end of the night when the “erection section” slow dances prove precisely why they should be banned; it never ends well and causes embarrassment when you rock up to work on Monday. Thanks, but no thanks.

So when my boss made it compulsory because it was a joint Christmas and retirement party, I had no choice but to accept. 

Believe me, I would much rather be at home in my sweats, with a glass of wine and watching Netflix, than trying to keep myself hidden from being dragged onto the dance floor by drunken women from another department.

Despite my grumpy assed persona, I believe in fate and the stars aligning, a happy ever after even.

I have let my guard down and have been spotted by Vilde, Eva and Chris, who are now stumbling towards my hiding spot. Well fuck.

I pushed away from the pillar I was hiding behind, turning at the same time and colliding with someone. 

My eyes burned as whatever drink they had was now all over my face and chest.

“Fuck,” I shouted, rubbing at my eyes with the heel of my hands, trying to stop the stinging.

“Don’t rub them, quick; let’s get some water splashed on your face.” 

Someone’s hand was on my shoulder, and another guided me by the elbow.

We entered what I assumed was the bathroom, and I was handed a wet paper towel to clean up. The cold towel eased my burning cheeks; I had once again fucked up spectacularly – way to go, Isak, way to fucking go.

“Here, let me look at you. Can you open your eyes for me?” 

I didn’t recognise the voice, but its deep timbre did something to me.

I bent over the sink and splashed water over my face, cautiously opening my eyes.

“I think I’m good,” I said, leaning over the sink before grabbing a towel to dry myself.

“Can I see your eyes?” 

Well, here goes nothing; I straighten up and turn towards the deep voice.

Staring back at me is a tall, blonde guy with piercing blue eyes and the prettiest pouty lips I’ve ever seen.

“They look a little red still; I’m so sorry for being so clumsy.” 

“I think I’m the one at fault; I was trying to avoid three drunken colleagues.” I try to sound unfazed, but my burning cheeks are probably proving otherwise.

“Wow, are they that terrifying?” 

And then he giggles. He fucking giggles, and it’s the best sound in the world right now.

I look down at my feet, unsure of what to say.

“I’m Even, by the way.” He holds his hand out for me to shake, which I manage without incident.

“Isak,” I smile, this time keeping eye contact because fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen?

“Issaaaak! Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you.” Magnus is drunk and over-excited, just for a change. (not)

“I accidentally spilt my champagne over him, so we were cleaning up,” Even offers.

“So that’s what they’re calling it these days, huh?” Magnus cackles as he sways from side to side, standing at the urinal.

Yep, that’s my life, one big fucking mess. I just want to turn around, walk out the door and just keep walking, so I do that, except Even and his kissable lips follow me.

“Hey, wait up, can I get you a drink?”

I slow down, then stop and turn to look at Even.

“You want to buy me a drink?” I stumble, confused as to why this James Dean look-alike wants to continue with this car crash of a party.

Even looks a little bewildered, but then smiles, nodding.

And before my brain engages, it comes up with an “OK.”

“Shall we find somewhere to hide from your colleagues?” 

We are standing at the bar, waiting to be served. My heart is pounding, and although I don’t remember eating them, I feel a thousand butterflies fluttering around my stomach.

“Sounds good,” I manage, then instantly regret it. 

“What would you like?” 

“Red wine, please.” Keep your answers short, Valtersen, don’t fuck it up now.

I follow Even, and I’m definitely not checking out his ass as he walks ahead of me in search of somewhere to sit.

Towards the back of the large room are a few sofas, which Even makes a beeline for.

“Is this secluded enough?” He smiles as he takes up one end of the sofa.

Having never been in this situation, I have trouble working out how to sit. And yes, my life really is a shit show. 

I sit as far away from Even as possible and gulp my wine.

A silence ensues, broken by Even’s giggle.

“Nice chat,” 

“I’ve never seen you here before. Are you new?” My nerves have kicked in, and I can feel my cheeks redden again.

“I am new; this is my second week. I am in marketing.”

I look over at him, resting back on the sofa. Breathe, Isak, breathe, I tell myself.

“What about you, Isak? Which department are you in?”

If his voice gets any more seductive, I’m going to be in trouble. The ways he pops the “k” …fuck!

“Accounting, 6th floor. I have been here for eleven years,” Yep, again, I cringe at what shit spews from my mouth at times, but he doesn’t seem to notice my discomfort.

“Even, our lift is here.” A tall blonde woman holds her hand towards Even, waiting for him to stand.

“Oh, so soon? Isak, this is Sonja, Sonja, Isak.” 

Of. Fucking. Course. Even has a girlfriend who is looking me up and down. 

“Nice to meet you, Isak,” she smiles, shaking my hand.

“You, too,” I try to sound as sincere as possible, but in reality, I just want to leave.

“Nice to meet you too, Even,” I say, trying to avoid looking at his lips again before making a hasty retreat.

“You too, Isak.” I hear him call after me. Keep walking, Isak; there's nothing to see here. I march towards the exit, then press the call button for the lifts.

Like the sulky teenager I once was (OK, sometimes, still am), I kick the bin as I enter my office, then throw myself on the chair, sending it flying backwards until it hits the cabinet.

Grabbing my coat, I take out my frustration on the lift call button again and go over tonight’s shit show once more.

At this point, I think I would have preferred being dragged onto the dance floor by Vilde, Eva and Chris than me making an absolute twat of myself for the entire night.  

Even

I’ve found him. It’s taken a while, but he seems to be avoiding everyone, hiding behind a pillar. Fuck he is gorgeous; his lips, his hair, god, his curls are cute.

I’ve only seen him a few times over the last week or so, but I’m already borderline stalking him. 

I can’t remember when someone made my pulse rush and my breath hitch, but he did that to me the first time I laid eyes on him in the canteen, and I love the feeling. 

Having been out as pansexual for years now, I have looked at men and women and appreciated their beauty, but never had any kind of relationship with a guy before. Kissing a few doesn’t count; grinding with someone on a hot and sticky dance floor is great, and all that, but I’ve never dated a guy. 

So, having this Greek God to watch certainly helps the day go faster here at work, and he is here tonight, as I hoped and prayed he would be.

Feeling a little brave, I made my way over to him, approaching him from behind, just as he pulled backwards and turned straight into me, dousing him in my champagne. 

Fuck. Nice one, Even; great first impression dickwad.

“Fuck,” he shouted, rubbing his eyes.

I told him not to and offered to help him go to the bathroom to clean himself up, holding his elbow and shoulder to guide him.

After wiping his eyes, he splashed water on his face and told me he’s ok.

Thank fuck for that.

I introduced myself, and he told me his name was Isak. 

I looked at his eyes, and although they were a bit red from the alcohol eye bath he just had, they were the most beautiful green colour. Isak is stunning. His lips, close up, have the perfect cupid’s bow. A beauty spot so perfectly placed.

He apologised to me, then seemed embarrassed, looking at the floor, explaining he was trying to escape drunken colleagues. Cute. As. Fuck.

Someone burst in and shouted Isak’s name, asking where he had been all night before staggering to the urinals. 

After I explained what had happened, this friend, Magnus, came out with a classic double entendre, which made Isak hurry out of the bathroom.

To prevent me from chasing him down, I called out and asked if I could buy him a drink. He slowed down and looked shocked that I had asked him, but he said, “OK.”

Be still, my beating heart, calm down and keep it cool, Bech Næsheim.

Going for casual, I teased him about where he wanted to sit and hide from his friends, and I decided the sofas looked like a good spot.

Isak looked a bit nervous, and I didn’t like the idea that I might be making him feel that way.

“Nice chat!” I smiled, hoping to break the ice. It works; he asked if I’m new as he doesn’t recognise me.

Isak told me he has worked in accounting on the 6th floor for eleven years. His words come out in one sentence as if he were on edge.

And then she arrived, as usual, at the wrong time. Sonja. 

It’s awkward as fuck. Sonja stood there grinning, while Isak looked like he would bolt again any minute, which he does after a quick introduction.

I watched as he speed walks all the way out of the room, disappearing from sight, and I’m pissed off, to say the least. 

I could feel my blood rising as Sonja grabbed my arm, and we left. I untangled myself from her as we walked through the reception and out to the car. 

I didn’t see where Isak had gone and felt deflated.

My life story in a nutshell. #youcouldn’tmakeitup.

Isak

I really need to get a grip. I have spent the weekend going over Friday night’s disaster, sulking and then accepting that Even seems to have a girlfriend. 

Pulling into the underground garage, I spot Even climbing out of his car. I instinctively duck out of sight, fearing he will see me.

On the plus side, though, that must be his allocated space, so I will get to admire him from afar on the regular. 

I watch as he locks his car, and then, with long, confident strides, he is out of sight. 

I sit up, rubbing my hands across my face and moaning out loud before gathering my shit and making my way to the office, hoping I don’t bump into anyone.

“Isak!” No one, and I mean no one, has a voice like Vilde’s. I apply a fake smile and turn around as Vilde catches up with me.

“So nice to see you at the party, Isak.” She stands there, just looking at me.

“Well, we didn’t have a choice, did we?” 

“I guess not,” She looks deflated, and I feel like an asshole.

“Sorry, Vilde. I’m in a rush. See you around,” I smile again and then bolt to my office, closing and locking the door behind me.

Fuck my life. 

The good thing about being with this company for so long is that I have my own office and can keep people at bay. I have a reputation for being moody (figures), so I am left to my own devices and happy with that. 

I plough through my morning’s work, and stop for a coffee around eleven, listening at the door before edging my way out and down the corridor to the kitchen.

Pouring the milk into my cup, I hear voices approaching and recognise Mag’s excitable tone. Closing my eyes and praying to any spiritual leader out there, I hope that Mags doesn’t come into the kitchen.

“I'm sorry if I embarrassed you on Friday night. I’m a bit loud when I’ve had a few drinks,” Mags says as his voice is right outside the door.

“You didn’t, it’s fine,” 

Well, shit, that’s Even’s voice. What’s he doing on this floor? Marketing is on the 8th floor. I can feel my cheeks redden as I remember the comment Mags came out with.

“This is our kitchen for the open plan areas and the offices,” Mags continues to ramble on, still right outside the door.

Please keep walking, for the love of god, Mags. Keep. Fucking. Walking.

Like some miracle, he keeps walking and talking, and when the coast is clear, I make a break for my office. Once inside, I spin the chair around, slumping down so no one can see me to enjoy my coffee. Result.

“Isaaak!” Magnus shouts as he barges his way into my office, scaring the shit out of me and making me spill my fucking coffee all over my shirt.

“For fucks sake, Magnus, don’t you ever knock?” I holler at him, jumping up from my chair and pulling my shirt away from my skin to avoid any burns.

“Sorry, buddy, but I was just showing Even around,” Mags offers.

“Hi, Isak,” 

I slowly turn to see Even standing there with his pretty lips and impossibly beautiful hair.

“Isak, I’m sorry. Did I make you spill your coffee?” Mags moves toward the door and then disappears, returning with a cloth from the kitchen.

“You did burst in and make me jump, Mags.” I took the cloth and did some damage control on my shirt.

“Kind of funny that you are cleaning yourself up again in front of Even,” Mags laughs.

I gave him my best death stare and turned my attention to Even.

“Hi, Even.” Is all I manage, though, because, you know, my life sucks, and I shouldn’t be allowed in public.

“Good to see you again, Isak. Maybe you won’t be wearing a drink the next time I see you.” 

“I wouldn’t hold your breath; he’s super clumsy,” Mags grins.

“I should get back to work,” I mumble, walking back over to my chair.

“See you soon, Isak,” Even says, with a slight nod, backing out the door.

“Later’s,” Mags calls, following Even.

I watch as they walk away, unable to take my eyes off Even. As they near the corridor, Even looks back at me, does this weird wink thing, and then carries on out of sight.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Even

As we drove home, I convinced Sonja that I was tired and needed to sleep. She wanted to go to a club, but my mood had dipped after the stunt she pulled at the party.

“I hope you’re not still sulking about me pulling you away from your new work friend,” she shot back.

“I’m not sulking, but you have to stop acting like you are more than just a friend; stop holding my hand and hanging off my arm.” I know I sound like a petulant child, but I swear sometimes she does it just to wind me up.

“Wow, really? She snapped.

“Yes, really,” I repeated as the car pulled up outside my place. I tossed some cash at her and shut the car door without looking back. As the cab pulled away, I thumped the front door, regretting it immediately. I let myself in, kicked off my shoes, threw my coat at the chair in the hallway, and wandered through to the lounge, where Delilah was stretching on the sofa.

“Hey, girl, how was your night? Better than mine, I bet.”

She peered up at me, and I gave in, flopping down on the sofa. Within seconds, she is in my lap, turning in circles as she makes herself comfy. Her purring calmed me down as I pondered how my evening went from hopeful to a complete disaster.

***

Meeting Magnus by the bank of lifts mid-morning was a surprise. He looked at me, then looked away, confused.

“You were at the party with Isak!” He yells out as we enter the lift, clicking his fingers as if to recall where he knew me from.

“I was! It’s nice to see you again.” I smiled.

We left the lift and started walking until I realised it was not my floor.

“What floor is this?”

“6th floor, accounting, where I work.”

“Ah, I’m on the 8th, marketing.” But, hang on a minute; this is Isak’s floor.

“Can I show you around quickly?” Magnus’s eyes are nearly as pleading as Delilah's, so I agreed. Nothing to do with the slight chance of seeing Isak whatsoever (who was I trying to kid?)

I followed Magnus, chatting away. He is like a little puppy dog, eager to please.

As we walked around the floor, we approached the offices and made our way towards one.

Magnus burst in, shouting Isak’s name as he strode in.

The chair wobbled as Isak jumped up, cursing at Magnus.

When Isak realised I’m in there too, he slowly turned around, holding his shirt away from himself. Magnus dashes out to retrieve a cloth for Isak to help clean up, and then jokes about him having to clean himself up again in front of me.

I stood there watching this unfold, and I realised Isak is as clumsy as I am. I watched as his cheeks turned pink, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. 

We exchanged awkward hellos, and then Isak said he must return to work. I can’t help but look back at Isak and am delighted to find him looking at me, so I winked at him, regretting that instantly as I’m absolutely shite at winking.

I made my excuses to Magnus and found my way back to my office. I know two things. One, I now know where Isak’s office is, and two, he is the most beautiful man I have ever met. 

Thursday morning

Email from: Magnus Fossbakken 

to: Isak Valtersen, Jonas Vasquez, Mahdi Disi, Even Bech Næsheim

Subject: Boyz Night.

Dudes!

I say we all have a get-together and have a few drinks to welcome my main man, Even to the company. We don’t have to go out; maybe we can just have drinks and some gaming at someone's place.

Who’s up for that? Anyone willing to host?

Magnus 

--------

Email from: Even Bech Næsheim

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

Hi Magnus,

Wow, I would love to meet up with you all, and if you’re happy to come to my place, I can host it.

Regards,

Even.

--------

Email from: Magnus Fossbakken 

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

Even you are a legend. Count me in.

Mags.

--------

Email from: Jonas Vasquez

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

I’m in, too, so let's throw some dates out there.

Jonas.

--------

Email from: Mahdi Disi

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

Sounds chill; thanks for hosting, Even.

Mahdi.

--------

Isak

Fucking Mags and his ideas. I haven’t replied to the email yet, as I’m not sure if I want to go. No, correction, I do want to go, but the last two times I’ve met Even, I have got covered in some form of beverage, the odds of making a dick of myself again are pretty high.

But then again, I could see Even again and check out his place. His dodgy wink confused me a little–why would he wink at me if he had a girlfriend? 

I get that my gaydar has never really taken off, but there was something there. Wasn’t there?

Fuck if I know.

Even

Waiting for Isak to reply had taken over my day. I debated sending him a separate email but decided against it, not wanting to sound too desperate. 

Friday morning

Email from: Isak Valtersen

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

See you there 🙂

Isak.

--------

Email from: Magnus Fossbakken

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

Even,

I hope you feel privileged that Isak is coming out for drinks; he is usually a grumpy git who always says no to everything!

Mags.

--------

Email from: Even Bech Næsheim

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

I feel honoured - let’s make this happen!

Even.

--------

 Email from: Isak Valtersen

Re:Subject: Boyz Night.

Mags! 🙄 🖕

--------

Isak

Monday AM

As I open my office door and turn the lights on, I notice a to-go coffee cup on my desk. Dumping my bag and coat, I touch it and realise it’s still hot. I turn and look through the window, but there’s no one hanging around.

Carefully lifting the lid off, the smell of dark coffee and cinnamon wafted under my nose. Who the fuck has put this here? Again, I look through the blinds at the window, but the office space is deserted.

I grab my bag and set up for the day, side-eyeing the coffee until my ‘fuck it’ attitude kicks in and I take a sip. It’s good, like really good.

Unknown number:

I hope you enjoyed your coffee 😊

What the actual fuck is happening right now? 

Isak:

Who is this?

I try to concentrate on my work, but the coffee cup taunts me from its place on my desk. In the end, I put it away in the cabinet out of sight; I will recycle it later. 

By lunchtime, it’s forgotten, as I wander to the canteen to meet the boys. They are sitting at our usual table, loud and unruly like a bunch of teenagers. 

“Halla,” I say as I slump into the seat next to Mahdi.

“Isak, we’re just waiting for Even, so we can sort out a date for drinks at his place,” Magnus smiles, his face holding a childlike expectation.

“Sounds good,” I reply, trying to keep my cool when all I want to do is punch the air and whoop! 

“Halla,” Even’s voice resonates as he nears our table, grabbing a chair from a nearby table. 

He leans in, shakes everyone’s hand, then turns to me and smiles.

“Isak.” His eyes look directly at mine, catching me off guard as he cups my shoulder.

“Hi, Even.”

“So, everyone grab their phones and let's book a date,” Magnus grins.

I’m trying to casually eat my lunch and listen to the dates being thrown around whilst sneaking looks at Even. His hair is less styled today, but it suits him. My eyes wander down to his lips…

“Isak!” Jonas snaps his fingers in front of my face, making me jump.

“Sorry, miles away there,” I bluff, taking another quick look at Even, who is staring back at me. His eyes seem to dip to my lips before he looks away. I wish I knew how to read people, especially guys. 

“Is the 21st OK for you?” Jonas asks.

“Yeah, I’m good with the 21st.”

“We can all bring beers,” Mahdi adds with a broad smile.

“Let me organise the food; any foods to avoid?” Even looked around the table, ending up on me. This time, I look back at him until I lose my nerve and shake my head.

“Shall we say eight-thirty?” 

We all nod, finish our lunches, and reluctantly return to work.

Unknown number:

Nice to see you at lunch. 

Glad you managed to drink the coffee

without spilling it on your shirt this time x

My heart rate skyrockets when I read the message. I feel a little giddy that Even has my number (how, is anyone's guess) and that he is messaging me, all be it fucking sarcastically!

Again, I look at the kiss ending the message and wonder what the fuck it's all about. I am a mess, and I am not surprised I have lived this long without ever having a relationship. Fuck my life. 

I spend a ridiculous amount of time working out how to reply to Even’s message before taking some deep breaths and firing a text back before I chicken out.

Isak:

The coffee was a nice surprise, 

and it was good. Thank you.

I would repay your kindness,

but I don’t know where you are on the

8th floor!  😊

I throw my phone in my bag and busy myself with work until it’s time to leave. 

As I walk through the department, I notice that the open-plan area is very festive, with Christmas decorations dotted around. I can’t remember the last time I had any kind of decoration at Christmas, certainly not in my apartment, and I’ve been there eight years now.

The lift bell jolts me back into reality, and I brace myself for the cold car park as I walk to my car.

“Hi, Isak.”

I turn and see Even exiting the other lift; his smile is fucking beautiful, and I can’t help but smile back. 

He walks over and points out his car (like I don’t already know which one is his or have remembered his number plate)

“Thanks again for the coffee.” 

“You’re welcome,” he smiles as he loads his bag into the boot, closing it firmly before leaning on it.

How is he so chilled and laid back? 

“I’m office number 812 if you are ever on my floor.” His eyes are incredible, even in the dingy car park lighting.

“I’ll remember that,” I replied, lost in his eyes. We were silent for a few seconds until Even stood and held out his hand, pulling me in for a bro hug. 

“See you tomorrow, Isak.” His breath ruffles my hair; then he pulls away.

“Yep, see you tomorrow,” walking to my car and watching him drive off.

It takes me several minutes to stop grinning before starting the car and going home.

Even

I had the idea of buying Isak a coffee and leaving it on his desk with a note, but just as I was placing the cup on his desk, the lift door opened, so I left before anyone saw me, watching from across the open-plan area as Isak walked into his office. 

His suit hugs him in all the right places, especially his ass. Nope, not going there; get to work Even, pull yourself together.

Magnus gave me all the boys' numbers when he gave me the impromptu guided tour of the accounting department. The thrill of having Isak’s number on my phone made me giddy, so I texted to see if he enjoyed his coffee, but I just got a “Who is this?” reply. Oh.

By the time lunch came around, I was itching to see Isak again. Fuck, I’ve got it bad. I’ve never been like this before about anyone. Ever. 

As I approached the table, I shook hands with the boys except Isak. I cupped his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, and my eyes met his momentarily.

We decided the 21st was a good date, but Isak had zoned out until Jonas snapped him out of it. 

Our eyes met again, but this time, Isak held my gaze as I asked about foods to avoid. My stomach flipped as I looked back at his beautiful cupid’s bow. I want to know if his lips are as soft as they look.

Clearing my thoughts, I agreed to an eight-thirty kick-off at mine, and then we finished our lunch, chatting before going back to work, although I was not sure I would get much done.

Sometimes, my brain tricks me into thinking I should act on my thoughts immediately, no questions asked. 

Case in point: I just texted Isak again, telling him it was good to see him this lunchtime. Then, because I just can’t help myself, I mentioned spilling his coffee on himself. I should come with a public health warning, Jesus Christ.

Watching the writing bubbles float and disappear was painful, but Isak eventually replied.

He liked the coffee! But doesn’t know where my office is to return the favour. I’ll take that as light flirting because why not? 

As I approached the lifts, I saw Isak walking into one, so I ran like a newborn giraffe to catch the next lift, hoping I wouldn’t miss him. Pressing the parking level button, I prayed it wouldn’t stop at every floor to let people in. I was in luck, and as the lift door opened, he was walking towards his car.

Bingo. Game on. Play it cool.

I said, ‘Hi,’ and gave my best smile, and I was rewarded with one of his. I make my way to the car, popping the boot and throwing my bag in before closing and sitting on the boot whilst Isak thanks me again for the coffee.

I told him exactly where he can find my office, which he says he’ll remember.

Here is another prime example of not thinking before committing to something. I stood up and offered my hand, pulling Isak into a bro hug. Our chests met momentarily, and I felt his soft curls on my cheek. 

“See you tomorrow, Isak,” I said into his golden curls.

“Yep, see you tomorrow,” He smiled back.

I had to take a few minutes and calm down before leaving the car park. Damn, he has got me rattled.

Chapter Text

Isak

Wednesday

I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing in the over-priced coffee shop in minus 10 degrees, but here I am. I’m buying Even a coffee; I just need to choose one. 

I settle for a Christmas-themed one, complete with a pepperkaker. As I move to the pick-up point, I have a few minutes to plan how to execute this delivery.

I smile as I sit at my desk, log into my emails, and get to work. A meeting takes up a good hour of the morning, so I grab a drink on the way back to my office. 

Sinking into my chair, I grab my phone and find a message with a photo attachment.

It’s from Even. I paused before opening the message.

Even BN:

Photo attached:

Thanks for the coffee; great choice.

The biscuit was cute, too 🎅 😘

I stare at the photo, and my eyes sting from how long I keep them open without blinking. My mouth fell open as I fell back in my chair. No, no, no! This can’t be happening. 

There, in all its fucking glory, is the biscuit I bought him. Sure enough, a pepperkaker that came with the coffee, but I didn’t realise then that they were decorated. With wording. Specifically, “Julekyss” 

What the actual fuck am I supposed to say to Even now? 

“Oh, sorry about that; I didn’t see which biscuit they chose; I just grabbed the bag and left.” 

Which is the truth, but it would make me look like a complete tool. I ponder my life for a while, then make a monumental decision. I have no idea where this came from, but I’m doing it. I have nothing to lose.

Isak:

Glad you liked your coffee &

biscuit. I’m spreading

Christmas cheer 🎅🏻🎄😘

Even BN:

I knew you weren’t as

grumpy as Magnus makes out.

Isak:

I have my moments.

My tolerance levels are

mellowing with age.

Even BN:

I bet you’re a big softy 

at heart ❤️

I chicken out. For a minute, I am freely enjoying the conversation with Even. But as soon as emotions get involved, I panic and shut down.

It’s OK; I will stay late tonight to avoid bumping into Even in the car park.

When the cleaners arrive at six thirty, I throw on my coat and grab my bag, heading for the lift. It’s peaceful when the building is almost empty.

My mind is chewing over the last message Even sent. Given half the chance, I think he’s right; I would be a big softy. I’ve just never had the opportunity to find out.

Stepping out of the lift, I keep my eyes on the floor and walk towards my car. As I walk past, I hear a car door open; it’s Even. 

“Isak.”

I stop but don’t turn around. 

“Is everything OK?” His voice is soft but still deep. 

I fight with everything I have to stop the chaos whirling around in my head. I nod and then take another step towards my car; in a few strides, Even is in front of me, his hands on my shoulders, his eyes trying to meet mine as I look at the ground, wishing it would swallow me whole.

Arms pull me towards him, and I go, without a fight, my cheek on his chest as he wraps his arms around me.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m not letting you drive home in this state.” His warm breath ghosts over my hair as I fall apart around him. 

“Let’s get out of the cold,” Even releases me, guiding me to his car, where I fall into the passenger seat, hugging my bag to my chest, sobbing.

“Take your time, Isak,” he soothes, and I just want him to curl around me, hold me, and protect me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble as my tears slowly subside.

“Isak, you have nothing to be sorry for. Why don’t you message security, tell them your car will be here overnight, and I’ll drop you home.”

Nodding, I find my phone and let security know. Then, I lean back into the seat, closing my eyes as Even starts the car and asks for my address.

It’s odd being a passenger when you are used to driving. I look out the window and see the city with a new perspective as I figure out what the fuck is happening right now. 

We pull up outside my apartment building, and Even turns to face me.

“Isak, what’s wrong?”

“How long have you got? I joke, staring out through the windscreen.

“Honest answer?” Even asks.

“Honest answer,” I reply, plucking up the courage to look at him.

Even’s hand cups my cheek, his thumb gently wiping a tear away.

“As long as it takes, OK.” His voice was calm.

“Can you come in? I mean, do you have…”

“I don’t have any plans except to make sure you are inside and comfortable.” Even’s thumb is still caressing my cheek, small circular movements that I lean into.

***

We take our coats and shoes off in silence; then I show him to the lounge while I use the bathroom.

The sight that greets me in the mirror is as bad as I expected. My eyes are red and swollen, and my skin is pale. After splashing water over my face, I take a deep breath and face my fears as I wander back through to the lounge. I find Even in the kitchen making cups of tea, his suit jacket over the back of the chair. As he moves to open the fridge, he notices me and smiles.

“Tea?  Always good when you need calming down.” 

I nod, watching him pour the milk, and add a heaped teaspoon of sugar to both. He hands me a cup, and we walk back into the lounge. We sit on either end of the sofa, our bodies turned towards each other.

After a few mouthfuls of tea, the silence overwhelms me. 

“I guess I need to explain a few things,” I manage, placing my cup on the coffee table.

“Only when you’re ready, Isak.” 

I take my time, trying to organise the words in my mind. I’m not entirely sure what I can say at this point. The truth seems pathetically sad, but it’s all I’ve got right now.

 “I’m not very good at talking about myself or my past. Let’s just say my childhood was not the best, and I haven’t seen or spoken to my parents in seventeen years.”

Breathe.

“I left home at fifteen when my parents disapproved of something, not allowing me to explain myself.”

Breathe.

“I stayed with friends for a few weeks, then rented a room in a flatshare with someone I knew from school. It wasn’t the best place to be, but it was cheap. I had a part-time job that just about covered the rent.”

Breathe.

“I went to university, found a job, and moved to Oslo. My life in a nutshell.” I look over at him and wait for him to say something.

“Have you ever told anyone that before?” 

I shake my head, looking back at my hands in my lap.

“Can I ask a question?” His voice is soft.

I nod, even though I know what he is going to ask me, even though it’s the hardest thing to say. I close my eyes and wait.

Breathe.

“Did your parents kick you out because they couldn’t accept you for who you are?” 

I nod.

“Have you accepted who you are?”

I look at him, shaking my head a fraction, as tears sting my eyes. 

“Can I hold you?” 

I’m not sure how to react to this, and as the seconds tick by, my face must portray something because Even stands up, opens his arms and waits for me to make the decision. 

The struggle in my mind is huge. The thought of comfort battling with the degrading slurs shouted at me as I left home with little more than my school bag and a few clothes. For seventeen years, I’ve lived a sad, lonely existence, and today, I have the chance to set myself free.

I lunge towards Even, nearly knocking him over. His arms catch me and pull me tight against his body. 

I can feel my whole body shaking as I try to relax into his hold.

“Isak, I’m going to walk us back over to sit down, OK?” Even loosens his grip as we shuffle back onto the sofa, I’m still clinging to him like my life depended on it.

“Come here, get yourself comfy,” he smiles, pulling me to his side. His arm comes around my shoulder, scooping me towards his chest.

“Can I ask you one more question? You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, but I think it may help in the long run.”

I nod into his chest as his head rests on mine.

“Isak, are you gay?” he whispers.

I nod, barely a movement, but he feels it.

Years of keeping that part of me a secret fell away. The weight lifted is immense as I let the tears flow freely again. 

All the while, Even holds me, his hand soothing my back, and I feel myself relaxing into his side.

“You’re the first person I’ve told. No one knows, not even the guys at work. I haven't even said it out loud to myself.”

“Have you had any relationships?” Even asks.

I pull away from him so I can see his face. 

“Honest answer?”

“Honest answer,” he repeats.

“I’ve never had any kind of relationship. I avoided them for years, then got used to being alone, so it never happened.”

“Have you ever wanted one?” Even whispers.

“Yes.”

“What’s stopped you?”

“I’ve never really felt a connection with anybody.”

“Never?” Even’s fingers have laced through mine, making me look at them.

“Recently, but I think I may have got the wrong impression; I’m not good with reading people or picking up on signals. Also, I think he has a girlfriend.”

“What kind of signals?”

“Maybe eye contact, small physical gestures—I don’t know. Maybe it’s all in my head.” 

“You think he has a girlfriend, too?”

I nod. I can’t look at him, as I can feel my cheeks burning.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Even says, throwing me off kilter.

I lay back against his chest, thinking about a question to ask that isn’t lame or just downright ridiculous. 

“Have you had many relationships?” is the question I settle on.

“Three. My first lasted for a couple of years when I was fifteen. Then, a couple more over the next fifteen years, one lasting seven years and the other three.”

“So, you don’t have a girlfriend at the moment?” I tentatively ask.

“I don’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend at the moment. I’m pan and have been for as long as I can remember. I’ve never had a relationship with a guy, but I have been attracted to them.” 

I can feel another weight lifting off my shoulders as I think that maybe, just maybe, there is a chance I’m not misreading his signals. 

“When was the last time you were attracted to a guy?” This is either going to confirm a few things or completely break me. I can feel my body tense as I wait for Even to answer.

“Honest answer?” Even whispers into my hair.

“Honest answer,” I reply and close my eyes against his chest.

“I started a new job recently, where I saw a cute guy. I kind of stalked him really after I accidentally threw champagne all over him at the works Christmas party,”

The sharp intake of breath was deafening. I sit up, staring at Even, my eyes wide as my brain catches up with everything. 

“Did I read the signals correctly?” I asked, looking away, just in case I had misread everything.

“You did,” 

“So Sonja isn’t your girlfriend?”

“She isn’t, never has been.” 

Fuck. 

“Whatever you are overthinking, stop. I’m going to ask a couple of questions, which may seem a little blunt, but again, I think it may help in the long run. Is that OK?”

I nod, still unable to form a sentence, as my mind races and my stomach churns.

“Isak, are you attracted to me?” Even whispers.

Taking a deep breath, I look up at Even and nod.

“Would you like to go out for a meal sometime with me on a date?”

“I would.”

“But?”

“Not really,  well, maybe it is. This is all new to me, and I’m not sure how it will work.” I can feel myself closing up, panicking, shutting down.

Even notices because he puts a finger to my lips, shushing me before I spiral.

“Can we get to know each other before we go on a date? I ask.

“You’re in charge, Isak. We go at your speed. Remember, I haven’t had a relationship with a guy before, either, so in a way, we’re both new to this.”

“But you’ve kissed before,” I point out, trying not to sound bitter.

“I have, but we don’t have to until you are ready. I’m not going anywhere, Isak. Promise.”

As we sit together, Even’s hand still holding mine, I suggest making something to eat as we have been here for over an hour now.

“I can cook or order in; it’s up to you,” I say, reluctantly pulling myself up from the sofa.

“Let’s be lazy and order in; is pizza good for you?” Even stands and stretches his arms above his head.

“Pizza is good,” I smile as I find my phone, and we choose one to share.

“I’m just going to change into sweats if that’s OK.”

“Go ahead, it’s what I do the second I get home. I’ll just pop to the bathroom before dinner,” Even smiles.

I change into sweats and then flop on the bed to give myself a few minutes to go over everything. Wow! So much has happened and been said. It hardly feels real, and to be honest, I’m expecting it to go tits up at any moment, but for now, I feel OK.

Even is back in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards.

“Hi, I was trying to find plates for our pizza.”

“Next cupboard along,” I smile as he nods, grabs the plates and puts them on the counter.

“Are you a cutlery guy, or are we using our hands?” He grins, raising his eyebrows.

“Hands are fine; it saves time when washing up.”

When the pizza arrives, we head back to the sofa and turn on the TV. I offer Even the remote so he can choose what we watch. He finds an old movie and becomes engrossed in it.

It’s a comfortable silence that settles over us. When we are done eating, our plates discarded on the table, we sit back and continue watching the film.

“I haven’t seen that film in a long time; it’s a favourite of mine,” Even smiles, turning his body towards me. 

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it.”

“We could watch another film together sometime if you like.”

“I’d like that,” I say, fiddling with a loose thread on my t-shirt.

“I think I’m going to go; it’s been nice spending time with you, Isak.” Even stands and looks at me, his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you for dropping me home and for listening to me.”

Inching forward, he holds out his hands. I take hold of them but keep my eyes on the floor.

“Anytime, Isak,” Even says.

I take a deep breath and look up at him. My heart is pounding as I pull him into a hug, my cheek against his chest. Even’s hands hold me tight, his head leaning against mine, and I feel so safe here, I sigh.

We eventually pull apart, and Even gathers his jacket and shoes. When he’s about to leave, I reach over and hold his hand, pulling him back to me.

“Can I kiss you?” My voice is so quiet; I’m not sure Even heard me until he leans in, brushing his lips over mine. 

It’s everything I thought it would be and more. I pull back and smile. My cheeks are flushed, and Even’s eyes are wide as he steps back, smiling. Did he feel that, too?

“Good night, Isak; see you tomorrow.”

I nod, unable to form any words as I watch Even leave, closing the door behind him.

FUCK.

Even

Wednesday

I smiled as I noticed a coffee and a paper bag on my desk. As I opened the bag, I saw an iced pepperkaker inside. Hanging my coat and sitting at my desk, I sipped the delicious coffee and pulled the biscuit out of the bag, grinning when I read the wording.

After snapping a photo of the biscuit, I sent it to Isak and thanked him. The response took a while to come through, but when it did, I sensed that Isak was either being sarcastic or didn’t know that the biscuit had “Julekyss” on it when he bought it.

We bantered a little, and then Isak went quiet. I put it down to him being busy, so I carried on with my day.

I didn’t see him at lunchtime, either. By the time I finished a hefty afternoon, it was six o'clock when I left. Noticing Isak’s car was still in the car park, I sat in mine and waited for him; something was wrong.

I heard the lift arrive and saw Isak walk towards his car. Asking if everything was OK, he stopped and nodded but didn’t turn to look at me. Without a second thought, I went over and stopped him in his tracks. Isak looked at the ground but didn’t pull away from my grip on his shoulders, so I pulled him into a hug. Isak breaks down in my arms, so I move him to my car, where he crumpled into the seat and sobbed. I couldn't feel myself becoming upset, but I took a deep breath and told him to take his time.

Isak’s tears slowly faded, and he apologised. He fucking apologised for getting upset.

I convinced him to let security know that his car would be there overnight and that I would drive him home, which he agreed to.

Arriving at Isak’s, he asked if I could go in with him, which I did. There was no way I was leaving him alone right now.

While he goes to the bathroom, I found everything to make tea for us. Then we went to the lounge and settled on the sofa, giving Isak time to calm down. I was still unsure what had happened to Isak that caused him to be this upset; it broke my heart seeing him this way.

After a few sips of his tea, he told me about his childhood, how he left home so young to escape his parents, and how he put himself through school and university before finding a job and moving to Oslo. 

I sat there and could not believe he had been through so much at such a young age. I felt guilty for minor blips in my childhood when Isak had it so much worse.

From what Isak had said, I got the feeling that his parents could not accept him for who he was, and Isak confirmed this. After a few more questions, the last being if I could hold him, I watched as his mind worked overtime before he lunged at me, his whole body shaking.

I moved us to the sofa and made sure Isak was comfortable against me, holding him, reassuring him.

Although I knew the answer, I needed to ask Isak, if only so he could admit it to himself.

“Are you gay?”

A slight nod, and the damn bursts again, wracking through his body until he was calm and said that I am the first person he has told he’s gay and that he has never had any kind of relationship. 

My heart broke for him all over again. This beautiful man had me tied in knots, but I couldn’t show that.

I asked if he had ever felt attracted to a man, which he said he had recently. He said he wasn’t sure if he was reading the signals right and thought the guy had a girlfriend.

At this point, I didn’t know whether it was a hunch or hope, but I thought it was me he was talking about, so I asked if he had any questions.

Isak asks about my past relationships and if I have a girlfriend. I told him about them, that I am pan and have been for years, am attracted to guys, but never had a relationship with one.

His next question made me smile because I hoped it would put his mind at ease.

“When was the last time you were attracted to a guy?” 

I said it was at the Christmas party and that I threw my champagne all over him.

The sharp intake of breath was music to my ears, as it was the moment Isak realised I was attracted to him.

Isak asked a few tentative questions: had he read my signals right, and if Sonja was my girlfriend?

I told Isak to stop overthinking when I saw his brow furrow. Then, asked him if he was attracted to me. He nodded, just the slightest of movements. I asked him to go out for a date, for a meal, but although he said yes, I could tell it was too much for him, so I placed my fingers on his lips to stop him from spiralling again.

Isak wanted to get to know me before going out in public on a date, and I am more than happy to oblige. I promised that he is in charge, and we move at his pace, which settled him.

We ended up ordering pizza and watching a film. It was nice, and I made a point of not coming on too strongly; I just enjoyed being in Isak’s company.

When it was time to leave, I hugged him, and he hugged me back. It was the best feeling ever.

I grabbed my jacket and shoes and was about to leave when Isak grabbed my hand.

“Can I kiss you?” His voice was so quiet and shy.

I leaned in and kissed Isak so softly that it gave me chills. I stepped back and looked at him, telling him I’ll see him tomorrow before leaving.

I sat in my car for a few minutes, then began my journey home. I’m not sure when they started, but tears rolled over my cheeks as the night sky passed me by. 

Even BN:

Isak, I will pick you

up in the morning as your

car is at work. What time is best

for you?

Isak:

Are you sure?

7:30 OK?

Even BN:

Of course, see

You at 7:30 X

Isak:

Thank you, and thank you

for this evening X

Chapter Text

Isak

Thursday

For the first time in ages, I actually felt human when I wake up. Fuck if I know when the last time I slept that well. 

Spending time with Even last night was unexpected but nice. I never thought I would ever open up about my personal life to anyone, but he was so easy to talk to. Even calms me. 

I smile as Even pulls up in his car. As I open the door, he smiles back, taking my breath away. 

“Halla.” His deep voice does something to me.

“Halla. Thanks for picking me up.” I ramble, unable to look away from him.

“Anytime.”

The drive is quiet, but it’s not awkward, just relaxed. 

When we pull into the car park, Even turns the engine off and turns towards me. 

“Can I kiss you?” Even asks a little nervously.

I want to, but something is stopping me. I fiddle with my bag before taking a deep breath. 

“It’s OK; I realise that’s not taking things slowly. I apologise, Isak.”

I look over as he starts to take off his seat belt. Taking another deep breath, I find myself leaning towards him, touching his arm. 

“Please,” I say, barely audible, but he hears me. His eyes widen, and his smile makes me smile. Leaning in, Even kisses me, a soft kiss like last night, then pulls back. I can’t stop looking at him, needing another kiss, so I lean in and kiss him back, lingering on his soft lips.

The sound of a car door slamming makes us both jump, and I duck in my seat. 

“It’s OK, no one saw us,” Even says, his hand holding my arm.

“Sorry.”  Opening my door, I look around before heading for the lifts without looking back.

Once I’m in my office, I pace around, overthinking everything. My internal debate is running a mock, kissing Even was a dream, but someone could have seen us. 

My phone brings me back into the room.

Even BN:

I’m so sorry, Isak.

Reading his message made me realise I had run from him without explanation. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

Isak:

I’m sorry for running off.

I just panicked; nothing for you

to apologise for, though.

Even BN:

It does get easier xx

Isak:

I hope so. 

Can we grab a coffee later?

Even BN:

Of course, after work?

I want to say no to after-work and have it in my office, but can I actually do that? Will people gossip if they see us together? It takes another thirty minutes to reply, and I hope I’ve made the right decision.

Isak:

How about in my office at 11?

Even BN:

Sounds good. 

I will bring the coffee 😊

I throw myself into my work and try not to think about Even coming up at eleven. Although anxious about it, I’m also looking forward to it.

Bang on Eleven, Even knocks on the door before pushing it open. He has two to-go cups, so he’s been out for coffee.

“Halla,” he smiles as he sets the cups down, then closes the door.

“Halla, these don’t look like the cups from our kitchen.”

“Isak, that is not coffee in our kitchens!”

He passes my cup over and then removes his lid, inhaling the aroma. 

“I bought you this, too,” he grins. He takes a bag from his coat pocket and places it before me.

I look at it with suspicion, then peek inside. I laugh when I see the pepperkaker with “Julekyss” iced across it.

“Thank you!” 

“I hope I didn’t offend you this morning. I realise it was a little extreme, but this is just so new for me.” I look at him, hoping he understands. My gaze falls to his lips, and I feel a swoop in my stomach as I remember how soft they felt against mine.

“At your pace, Isak.” Even reaffirms.

“Thank you. I, um, did enjoy the kiss this morning and last night, just so you know.” I blush but hold his smile.

“Me, too."

***

The rest of the day was fine, although Even was not in the canteen at lunchtime. I missed him; I have got used to him being there with us all. 

I keep thinking about our kiss last night and this morning, how I want more. 

An idea occurred mid-afternoon as I was reaching the point of boredom. The year is ending, so it’s not that busy at the moment.

I made my way up to the eighth floor and casually walked over to Even’s office. His blinds were closed, but the light was on. Knocking on his door, I waited until I was asked to come in (unlike Magnus)

“Come in,” Even calls, his deep voice setting my skin alight. Breathe, Valtersen, you’re just dropping in to say hi.

Even’s face, when he sees it’s me, breaks into a smile that stops me in my tracks. I fumble the door closed, then lean against it.

“Hi,”

“This is a pleasant surprise,” Even says, leaning back in his chair. I have no idea what comes over me, but I’m by his side, looking down at him in his seat. 

His eyes widen as I come closer; his fingers find mine as I lean down and kiss him. 

The smallest of moans escapes Even’s lips as he kisses me back. He pulls back and looks up at me.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” I find myself whispering.

“Yeah?”

Even moves from the chair and settles against his desk, holding his hand out.

“Remember, you are in charge, Isak.” He says as I stand between his legs, our fingers entwine again.

Our eyes are level in this position, and as I search Evens, we move closer. This time, he kisses me but changes the angle so it’s not just a peck; it’s more, so much more. Sparks ignite as I lean into the kiss, holding his shoulders, keeping me grounded. 

Even’s hands steady my hips as my breathing becomes heavy. We pull apart again, both breathless, smiling. 

“Wow, I like you being in control,” Even giggles.

I reply with another kiss; this time, I pull him closer, our chests together, and it feels so fucking amazing. 

Nothing could prepare me for the feel of Even’s tongue gently licking across my lips. My breath hitched, but I couldn’t stop kissing him; as my lips parted and our tongues met, I fell apart. 

Even’s hands circled my back, his fingers pressing into my skin. I let my fingers slide through the hair at his nape. I was so turned on I could feel myself getting hard; I needed to slow down.  

As if Even had read my mind, he slowly pulled away. His lips were red from kissing, and mine were on fire.

“Would you like to meet up at mine tomorrow evening? I can cook for us,” Even says, still holding me.

“Yeah, I’d like that,”

We both nod and pull apart. An unspoken agreement that maybe we should both get back to work. 

“Thanks for stopping by, Isak.”

“See you tomorrow, Even.”

Even

It took a while to stop my thoughts from running wild as I lay in bed. I messaged Isak, offering him a ride to work in the morning, which he accepted. 

The kiss we shared, albeit a small meeting of lips, was perfect. I can’t get my head around it, possibly being Isak’s first kiss. 

I could get used to picking Isak up. It was quiet, but having him with me was bliss. As I parked in the underground lot, my mouth ran itself before my brain could catch up. I asked him for a kiss, making him grip his bag tighter. For fucks sake, why do I do this? I apologised and went to undo my seat belt, but Isak stopped me and said, “Please.” 

I pressed my lips to his, nothing more, but as I pulled away, Isak kissed me again. It was a lingering kiss before the slamming of a car door had him ducking out of view.

I’d fucked up. Again.

With a quick look around, Isak got out of the car, walked to the lifts and was gone. 

I felt immense guilt as I sat in my car. I texted him to apologise, but he asked to meet for coffee later. It took another thirty minutes for Isak to reply, and it blew my mind when he said he wanted me to come to his office at eleven. 

I popped out and bought coffee for us both and then made my way to Isak’s office. God, his smile released any tension I had as I walked over to his desk and sat opposite him.

Isak loved the cookie I bought him, sending Christmas kisses back to him. I was rewarded with another stunning smile and an admission that he enjoyed our kisses last night and this morning. 

***

I decided to stay in my office at lunchtime, give Isak some time with his friends and not put any pressure on him. I get the feeling that just being near him puts him on edge a little, and I don’t want that. 

Later, as I emptied my inbox to kill time, I heard a knock on the door. I was not expecting anyone, so I was surprised to see Isak walk through it. I smiled at him, as he seemed to be making up his mind about what he was doing here. 

But then he was right by me and kissed me, telling me he’d been waiting to do that all day.

God, I have wanted the same, to kiss him, kiss him passionately, but I know I have to take things slowly, or Isak will run again.

As we separated, I reminded Isak that he’s in charge and moved to sit on the edge of my desk, holding out my hand for him to take. Isak stood between my legs, and our eyes met again; another kiss followed. 

I joked that I like him being in charge, then leaned in for another kiss, hoping I’m not pushing him too far. I tilted my head; I couldn’t help myself; I wanted to feel his lips as close to mine as possible. I dared to run my tongue across his lower lip, and he opened up for me. Our tongues curled around themselves as I pulled Isak into me, my fingers kneading his back as his moved through my hair. It felt like electricity surged through my entire body.

I was getting hard, and I’m pretty sure Isak was, too, so I pulled away to save him from embarrassment.

Isak agreed to have dinner with me, so we said our goodbyes, and I watched him leave the office. I sank into my chair, taking deep breaths and adjusting my boxers. Fuck, I needed a cold shower.

Isak

Fuck. I head straight to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. Entering the cubicle, I lean against the wall and close my eyes, willing myself to calm down. 

That kiss was beyond anything I had imagined, and Even’s hands on my back urged me to press against him. Now, all I can think about is kissing him again tomorrow night at his place. 

I grab a takeaway on my way home and then fall on the sofa in a comfortable food coma. I’m not sure how I will get through the day tomorrow, knowing I’m seeing Even in the evening.

Isak:

Hi. What time do you want

me to come over tomorrow?

Need me to bring anything?

Even:

I was just thinking about you!

Is eight OK? Please feel free to

wear your sweats; it’s going to be

a chill evening. You don’t have to

worry about bringing anything.

Isak:

I would be more comfy in

sweats–thank you.

Eight is fine.

Friday

I plan to keep myself busy and out of sight to get through today. We only have another week before we close for Christmas. On the 21st, we meet at Even’s for drinks; is it wrong that I would prefer that the boys not come along, too? 

Who am I, and when did I get so needy for one-on-one attention? 

I end up going to the canteen for lunch with the boys, and maybe to see Even too. 

Shit, I can’t stop thinking about him, about kissing him and his fingers pressing into my back. I have no idea where this is coming from; it’s as if I am making up for all the lost years of being alone. It’s a good feeling, though; it doesn’t scare me.

 Magnus can be heard as I enter the canteen. I can’t help but smile as his hands fly around as he talks. 

“Halla,” I say, fist-bumping them as I sit in the curved booth they are sitting in today. Not long after that, Even sits beside me, saying hi to everyone. 

The conversations are random but funny, with Even adding to the hilarity. Now and then, our legs touch under the table. The warmth creeps into my skin like a burn. I don’t move away from it. I can’t.

One by one, the boys leave, leaving Even and me alone. 

“Still OK for later?” 

“Yeah, all good,” I smile, gathering my rubbish from the table.

Even stands up and waits for me to throw my rubbish in the bin. We wait for the lift and then ride in silence to the sixth floor, where I turn and smile at Even, then walk to my office, trying to contain my smile.

On my desk is a note written in scratchy handwriting. Even left his address for me. In all my excitement, I had forgotten to ask for it. I tucked the note into my pocket and tried to take my mind off tonight with some spreadsheet organising.

Five minutes later, I’m looking at Even’s place on Google Maps. It’s not that far to walk, so I decided to take a bottle of wine and catch an Uber home. Should I let Even know or just turn up? This shit is all new to me. 

Before I overthink things, I shut everything down and leave, narrowly avoiding Magnus and Mahdi.

***

I had never considered searching for the ‘smartest’ pair of sweats, but that’s where I found myself. My comfiest are almost see-through; they are that old, so they’re out of the equation. 

My nerves are starting to jangle, so I lie in a hot bath and try to relax. 

My phone pings in the bedroom, so I reluctantly pull myself out of the bath and grab my phone.

Even BN:

I hope you are not overthinking

tonight too much, Isak.

I’m looking forward to seeing you x

Is this normal? For someone you have only known for a matter of weeks to know you so well. I’m lost for words as I sit on the bed and get my head around his text. I type and re-type a reply, finally settling on what I want to say without double-guessing before sending it.

Isak:

I was overthinking things, but

that’s nothing new for me. 

I am looking forward to 

seeing you too, Even xx

I am looking forward to seeing him again, having him close, and having him make me feel wanted, something I’ve never really had in my life. There must have been a point when I was younger when I did feel wanted by my parents, but I can’t remember it. What I do know is that Even has a calming effect on me.

***

The cold air is biting as I turn into Even’s Road. I’m a little early, so I stop briefly to gather my thoughts. 

Pressing the intercom, I wait to be buzzed in. 

“Halla.” Even’s voice crackles over the intercom.

“Hi, It’s Isak.” 

The door buzzes open, and I go up to his apartment. As I turn the corner, he is standing in his doorway, looking like a fucking movie star. Even’s hair is styled into a quiff; his t-shirt is an old NAS one, stretched at the neck and slightly too short on his tall frame. 

Grey sweats hang on his hips. I pull my eyes back up to his and hope he is oblivious to my wandering eye. 

“Come in, make yourself at home.” His hand lands on the small of my back as he guides me in.

“I bought some wine; I hope you like it.”

“Perfect for our steaks; let's open it and let it breathe for a bit.” Even takes it from me, and I follow behind him.

The kitchen is modern, like out of a magazine, but it still feels cosy.

“I’ll just check the oven, then we can chill for a bit.”

I nod and look around the kitchen, my eyes taking in all that is Even.

“Would you like a tour?”

“Love to.” And that’s genuine. I want to know everything about Even, and if that starts with looking around his apartment, then I’m in.

Taking my hand, he leads me to the lounge with a huge sofa, modern art on the wall, and a small dining table in the corner. A cat is curled up on the sofa, fast asleep.

Like the kitchen, the bathroom is modern, with a walk-in shower and two sinks. We look at each other in the mirror and smile.

Still holding hands, we move to the spare bedroom, with more artwork on the walls. 

“You like art, then.”

“I do; it gives me a warm feeling, makes a place feel like home. I haven’t done any in years, so I change them every few months.”

“Wait! All this artwork is yours?” 

Even nods.

“Woah,” Is all I can say.

“The last room is my bedroom, but we don’t have to look in there,” Even says, moving past it.

“I’d like to see it. Is that OK? Unless you don’t…”

“No, of course, we can,” Even opens the door and lets me go in first.

The art above the bed is in deep red and shows two people lying in bed. I turn to him with questioning eyes.

“This is not my work; it’s by Lautrec! It’s called ‘Dans Le Lit’, meaning ‘in the bed.’ 

I smile and then let my eyes wander around the room.

The sound of the oven timer makes us both jump.

“Let’s go and finish the dinner, shall we?”

Even cooks the steaks in a large pan while I lean against the counter, watching him. 

“How do you like your steak? I like mine medium-rare.”

“That sounds good, thanks.”

“Would you like to pour the wine? The glasses are behind you. 

I pour the wine while Even plates the food. The steaks, potatoes, and salad look divine. I follow him to the dining table, and we sit opposite one another.

Holding up his glass, Even smiles as I hold mine to his and smile back. 

“Welcome to my humble abode, Isak.”

“Thank you for inviting me.”

The meal was the best home-cooked food I’ve had in ages, if not ever.

“You can cook for me anytime, Even,” I joke as we sip our wine. My nerves are not taking over, and I am enjoying the evening. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

“I’d love to. Make yourself comfy on the sofa while I clear the plates away.” Even takes the plates, and I grab his wine glass, placing it on the coffee table. 

The cat stretches as I sit down, and I can’t help but stroke their head.

Looking more closely at the art on the walls, they are all masterpieces as far as I’m concerned. 

Even returns with the bottle of wine, then settles on the sofa beside me, lifting his arm for me to move closer. We relax against each other as if we’ve done it a thousand times. I still feel slightly out of my depth, but I want to kiss Even so much. The feel of Even’s breath in my hair gives me goosebumps. 

“This is Daphne. She’s an old, lazy cat who sleeps most of the time now. I’ll just move her to the spare room where she sleeps at night.”

“Shall we watch a film?” Even reaches for the remote, and the TV bursts into life.

“Sure; I’ll just pop to the bathroom while you choose something,” 

Splashing cold water on my face, I look at my reflection, and something snaps. Drying my hands, I walk back through to the lounge where Even is still flicking through the films. 

“Can I get you anything before the film starts?” Even asks, patting the sofa.

“I loved how you kissed me on Thursday, and I love being held by you,” I say.

Even drops the remote and stands in front of me, wrapping his arms around me. I pull him impossibly close and lay my head on his shoulder, nestling into his neck. A safe place.

“Isak, please don’t hesitate to hug or kiss me; just do it. I have been holding back so I don’t make you feel uncomfortable. I am a very tactile person, and I love hugging.”

“Like your leg pressing against mine at lunch, you mean?”

“Guilty,” Even giggles.

“I liked it,” I said as we held one another.

Even relaxes against me as we sway ever so slightly.

“What kind of movies do you like?” 

“This will sound pretty ironic considering my history, but I love romantic films with happy endings. It’s my guilty pleasure,” I tell Even, expecting a giggle, but he just kisses my hair.

“I do, too,” He replies quietly.

“I love watching people meet and fall in love and how they interact. Sounds a bit weird, I guess.”

“Is that what you want?” Even whispers.

“I’ve always wanted that, but I think the course of my life made it an unreachable dream for such a long time that I resigned myself to never achieving it. I even stopped watching the movies because I would get so caught up in them and have such a low mood afterwards, sometimes lasting days.”

“Would you watch one with me?”

“Yeah, but I have to warn you; I get emotional, but I guess you’ve already noticed that.”

“I’ll be there for you, Isak.”

We get comfy on the sofa again and finish our wine, the movie forgotten for the night. Even has stayed true to his word and not pushed me; just held me and let me get used to being held.

“I want everything in those movies, but realise they have many unrealistic parts.”

I move to face Even, wanting to see him as we talk.

“I agree; some movies make unrealistic norms, but some are achievable, Isak.” 

“You think so?”

“I do. Like I said earlier, I am very tactile; I love kissing, holding someone close, and showing affection. It just becomes natural when you are with someone.”

“Sounds amazing. Can I ask you something?”

“Always.” Even smiles.

“If things were different, if I were already ‘out’, what would we be doing now, as our first date?”

“I think maybe we would have gone out for a meal, maybe had drinks somewhere.”

“Would you have been more tactile with me?”

“In public? Possibly.”

“And what about when we get back here?”

“Honest answer?” Even’s eyes meet mine.

“Honest answer.”

Even leans towards me; our lips meet as he pulls me onto his lap. I rearrange myself so I am straddling his thighs and kissing him back. My head is spinning as I moan into Even’s mouth.

His hands pull my hips towards him as I run my fingers through his hair.

I can feel Even’s fingers touching my skin above my waistband, making me shiver.

“Sorry; was that too much?” Even looks worried, but I can’t speak, so I kiss him again, then pull back and look at him.

“What’s going on in your head right now? Even asks as his hands rest on my thighs.

“That was way better than it looks in the movies,” I grin; I can’t help it. 

Even laughs, and his beautiful eyes shine; the creases at each side are like sun rays radiating out.

“And that I want you to be your usual self around me when we are here or at my place. I thought it would be hard for me to let myself go and not be so uptight. Then, I took a chance in your office and couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss afterwards. My first real kiss.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Isak,” Even worried his lip.

“Oh,” I feel deflated and go to get off Even’s lap, but he stops me.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought…I thought you wanted me to get off.”

“Isak, that is the last thing I want right now. What I meant was that you giving me permission to kiss, hold, and cuddle you freely when we are together is a dangerous move because I can’t hold myself back. I want nothing more than to kiss every inch of your body and make you feel so wanted and so loved that you won’t know what’s hit you. That’s what I meant,” Even pulls me back to his chest and holds me.

“Oh,” I whisper, my heartbeat racing. 

“Show me…” I say, looking at him.

Even’s eyes grow wide as he realises what I’m saying.

“Fuck, Isak. You can’t say stuff like that. I know I won’t be able to stop myself, and I don’t want to push things too far, but I want to so badly, Isak; you have no idea.”

“I have no idea what will happen as I’ve never, you know, done anything, but I’m not fragile either. When I made the decision to come to your office, it was with the intent of kissing you. 

Then, when you moved to your desk, and I was between your thighs, it felt so right. My thoughts didn’t turn to it being wrong, or ungodly or any other slur I’ve chanted to myself when I’ve thought about being with a man because that’s what I want. I want to be kissed, touched, made to feel wanted, made love to and to love someone with everything I have.”

Even caresses my cheek, then moves to kiss me. It’s soft and kind, just like our first kiss.

His hands move around my waist, under my T-shirt, sending shockwaves throughout my body as they continue their way over my back. 

“Are you ok?” Even whispers.

I nod, placing my palms on his chest, looking down at them.

“Can I move you a minute?”

I stand up and watch as Even walks over to the wall and turns the light off, lighting the room with a small lamp. As Even approaches me again, he turns me and holds me from behind, his arms around me, as he plants tiny kisses up my neck. Fuck, my knees nearly give way as I tilt my head for him to continue.

I can feel my breath quickening with every kiss; I push back, feeling his hands roam over my chest. Making a split-second decision, I turn to face Even and walk him back to the sofa, this time lying down, pulling him on top of me. I’ve seen it a thousand times, and the rush of excitement is exhilarating. 

It’s clear we are both turned on by this, Even kissing over my neck and shoulders as I run my fingers through his hair. 

“Fuck,” I moan as my hand finds warm skin under Even’s T-shirt. 

“Isak, is this too much? We can stop,” Even pants near my ear.

“No, please, don’t stop; I want this so much.”

Even kneels up and removes his top. It takes my breath away as I let my fingers glide over his pale, smooth skin. I watch his face as I caress him, his mouth slightly open.

Lifting myself, I grab the hem of my top and pull it off, dropping it to the floor, along with Even’s. As our bodies reconnect, the warmth of his skin against mine is perfect. I run my fingers up and down his back as his kisses run over my shoulders and chest. 

When his lips graze over my nipple, fireworks go off under my skin, making me shudder. Even moves to kiss me again, and then he slowly rolls us over so I am on top. For a moment, I’m at a loss as to what to do, but I soon find myself gently running my nose across the tip of his, our breaths both laboured.

“Isak,” Even murmurs, his hands moving down over my backside, pulling me between his thighs. I have never felt so hard; it’s almost painful. 

I need to feel Even between my thighs, so I roll off him, dragging him back on top of me, guiding him between my thighs with my hands on his ass.

We move together, both lost in our thoughts. 

“Is this OK? We can stop,” Even’s voice pulls me back into the room.

“I don’t want to stop.”

“Neither do I.”

Our eyes meet, answering unasked questions. Our lips meet, answering an unsaid need. Even’s hands cup my ass, pressing our hardness together. Friction takes over as we both roll our hips, moaning into each other's mouths; the outcome is inevitable. 

“Fuck, Isak, so good,” Even moans, his whole body shaking, as he clings to me. 

I collapse, crying out as I feel myself let go, curling into Even’s neck as he holds me.

The sound of our breathing is comforting in a way, broken when Even sighs and nuzzles my hair.

“You OK?” 

“Yeah, you?” I can’t help but smile.

“I am.” 

We lay there holding each other until it got a little uncomfortable.

“Let’s get cleaned up, yeah?” Even pats my backside, and I reluctantly let him go. 

He held out his hand and pulled me through the apartment to the bedroom. 

“I’ll grab you some clean sweats and boxers so you can have a quick shower.”

I nod, trying not to look awkward, but it's hard not to when you have a cold, sticky mess in your boxers.

“I guess this is a first for both of us,” Even smiles.

We shower separately; I’m still in the bedroom when Even walks through with a towel around his waist.

“Sorry, I’ll go back to the lounge.”

“Isak, it’s fine; talk to me while I change.” Even smiles, and it’s fucking beautiful. 

I turn away and listen to the sound of him drying himself. I picture his slim waist and the happy trail with fine, light hair.

“What are you thinking about, Isak?”

“Honest answer?” I turn and smile as he sits on the bed.

“Honest answer.” 

“I was listening to you drying yourself and wishing I was watching you.” Fuck, where is this all coming from? How am I this brave?

“Yeah?” Even looks a little surprised.

“I had no expectations for this evening, but when I went to the bathroom earlier, something clicked. I realised I had nothing to be afraid of and that nothing would happen if I kissed or touched you. And I wanted to touch you.” 

“I wanted to touch you, too; I still do. I’ve had a few drunken kisses, but that’s all.” 

“That kiss in your office; that’s when I knew.”

“Knew what?” 

“That I wanted to kiss you again, and that I need to come out.” 

“You want to do that?” Even looks concerned.

“I need to. No one has really asked about my personal life at work; I’m closest to Jonas, so I’ll tell him first. I don’t want it to be awkward here next Friday when we’re all together. I guess I’m accepting myself, too; what do you think?”

“I think I want to kiss you, then hold you against me for the longest time.” 

“We can do that.”

“Here or back in the lounge?” Even whispers.

I smile without taking my eyes off Even’s, feeling the weight of the last seventeen years drift away.

“Here,” I whisper back.

A slight nod and a shy smile, but it’s everything. 

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Even kisses my hair and leaves.

I lay back on the bed, my legs hanging off the edge. In my wildest dreams, this was not how I thought I would spend tonight. 

“I’m not assuming anything here, but I’ve put a new toothbrush in the bathroom for you.”

“Thank you; I won’t be long.” 

Cleaning my teeth, I still shake my head at this evening's events. Turning the light off and making my way back to the bedroom, I pause at the doorframe and look at Even. When he sees me, he pats the bed and pulls back the quilt, his face a mixture of wonder and worry.

Walking over to Even, I pull my T-shirt off, followed by my Sweats, then climb into bed, into his arms and lay my head on his chest.

“Hi,” Even kisses my hair, his fingers teasing through it.

“Hi,” 

The only light in the room is the clock on the bedside cabinet, which casts a warm glow over our bodies.

“Did you drive here tonight?”

“No, I walked. I was going to get an Uber home.”

Turning to face me, Even brushed my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. That simple gesture just enamours me even more. 

We trade lazy kisses until Even pulls me into his hold, my back against his chest.

“Night, Isak.”

“Night, Even.”

Even

I showered as soon as I got in, still reliving that kiss and how turned on I was with Isak standing between my thighs. Fuck, so hot. 

Friday

I made a detour via Isak’s office and left him a note with my address for tonight. Then, I found all the guys in the canteen. I sat next to him; his beautiful smile made my heart flutter. I risked touching my leg against his; he didn’t flinch or move away, so we stayed like that until they started to leave, and we rode the lift together. 

***

After showering, I messaged Isak, hoping he wasn’t overthinking tonight. I wanted him to relax, so I suggested he wear his sweats.

I organised the salad and potatoes and played with Daphne until the buzzer rang. I waited at the door for Isak and was caught off guard when his golden curls peeked out from under his beanie. His smile reached his eyes, and I swear he was checking me out as he walked towards me.

I offered him a tour to help him relax, and although I tried to avoid my bedroom, Isak was happy to look around. My favourite painting above my bed was mistaken as my work by Isak, which was a huge compliment. 

Putting the final touches to the meal included Isak being in the kitchen as I cooked the steaks. It felt so natural to have him there, and I got ahead of myself and wanted it to be a regular thing.

While enjoying his meal, Isak seemed more relaxed as we chatted and, dare I say, flirted a little. I love cooking for my friends, but this was more intimate as Isak captivated me with his presence. He loved my cooking and said I could cook for him anytime! And I would; I’d have him here in a heartbeat.

I left Isak to relax on the sofa while I cleared our plates. Then, I introduced Daphne to Isak and put her in the spare room, where she sleeps. 

Risk-taking fascinated me, almost giving me a thrill, so I hedge my bets by holding my arm up for Isak to cuddle against me on the sofa. It paid off, as I soon had his soft curls within kissing distance and was asking if he wanted to watch a movie. Isak left the film choice up to me as he excused himself to the bathroom. I wanted to put on a soppy romance, but I wasn’t sure that was Isak’s thing. 

As Isak settled back on the sofa, I asked if he needed anything before the film started. His reply surprised me: He said he had enjoyed our kiss on Thursday and loved being held by me. I stood and held him, knowing he must have taken a lot to tell me.

So I told him how tactile I could be, how much I loved hugging, and that he could hug or kiss me whenever he wanted. God, he is just so adorable.

He called me out on the leg touching, but he said he liked it. A risk worth taking.

When I asked Isak what kind of movies he liked, he blew my mind—romance with happy endings. I think I looked a little shocked when he went on to say what he liked about them.

That’s what he wanted, his own happy ending, but with how he shut himself off from any kind of relationship, he had given up believing it would happen.

Fuck. I wanted to promise him the world at that point. 

We agreed that these types of films portray unrealistic norms. I pointed out that he could still have a happy ending.

Here’s where I take another risk: Isak asked what we would have done if he were already ‘out’. I could have told him, but showing him made more sense in my head. I pulled him onto my lap, kissing him deeply. A moan escaped his beautiful lips, fuck that did things to me. His fingers ran through my hair as mine softly grazed over his warm skin. He shivered, and I apologised, but he kissed me again before pulling away and watching me.

Isak was full of surprises when he told me that what we were doing was way better than what he’d seen in the movies. He wanted me to be my usual tactile self around him; how he had made the decision to kiss me in my office, and that he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Believe me, Isak, I can’t either.

Then I have a brain fart and almost ruin the moment. Luckily, I turned it around and explained that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from kissing every part of his body, that I would make him feel so wanted and loved, he wouldn’t know what had hit him.

And fuck, if he didn’t ask me to show him. His voice was barely a whisper.

He wants to be kissed, touched and made to feel wanted. He wants to be made love to and love someone back with everything he has. Jesus fucking Christ, he is baring his soul to me, and I feel so privileged. 

We kissed again, and I had to feel his soft skin, but first, I turned the light off. I held Isak from behind, and his body slotted perfectly into place. Soft skin under my lips makes Isak sway before he pulls me to the sofa and on top of him. 

The feeling of Isak underneath me was dizzying. We were both hard, and any movement sent pulses through my body. I paused, making sure Isak was OK and that I was not getting ahead of myself, but he assured me he was fine and didn’t want me to stop. 

Our T-shirts came off, one by one, with caresses and kisses, warm skin pressed together. I kissed Isak’s nipple, making him shiver, and I felt just a little bit more for this gentle soul.

I rolled us over, wanting Isak on top of me; let him feel how amazing it is to have someone underneath you waiting for your touch. I pulled our bodies together, my hands holding his perfect ass. 

Isak had other ideas and pulled me back on top of him, his thighs wide as he pushed up against me and kept my ass in place with a tight grip. Fuck, it was so good. I could feel the pressure building and knew I wouldn’t last much longer as we ground against one another.

Waves of pleasure washed over me as I came undone. 

Isak was right behind me, crying out as he came, slumping forward, his breath ragged at my neck. Holding him close, we both caught our breath.

After checking in with each other, we lay there for a bit longer until I suggested we clean up, offering Isak a shower and clean clothes. Isak smiled and commented that it was a first for both of us. God, I hope there are repeat performances of that because I am so gone for this boy.

When I returned to the bedroom, Isak seemed a little awkward, but I asked him to stay and chat with me. Isak confessed that he wished he had watched me dry myself and that something had clicked earlier in the evening, making him relax. Isak also admitted that he wanted to touch me, and that’s when he realised he needed to come out to make it less awkward at the boys' night next Friday. 

From the painfully closeted person to this amazing person sitting beside me on the bed, it was mind-blowing to listen to Isak. No one knew about Isak being gay, so as he was closest to Jonas, that’s who he would tell first. In such a short space of time, Isak had it all worked out, and I was so proud of him.

Of course, when he asked what I thought about it, I came up with a cheesy line, but he fell for it. I scrambled around to find a toothbrush and casually told him it was in the bathroom. 

When he returned, Isak removed his clothes, and we ended up in each other's arms in my bed. As we shared kisses, I found out that Isak had walked here and planned on getting an Uber home.

Saying goodnight to Isak as he was tucked against my body was the perfect end to our night.

Chapter Text

Isak

Saturday

I yawn, then stretch my arms as I wake from the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages. As my eyes adjust, I remember where I am. I slowly open my eyes and find Even smiling at me, with Daphne purring between us.

“Hi, baby,” Even smiles. The endearment surprises me, but I don’t say anything; I just smile back at the gorgeous man before me. 

“Morning.”

“Would you like a coffee?”

“I would love a coffee if it’s no trouble.”

“There is one condition,” Even teases.

“What is that? Can I back out?”

“You have to look after this little one,” He gestures towards Daphne.

“It’s a hard bargain, but I accept,” I smile at Even and myself because I don’t even recognise this version of me.

As Even pushes up off the bed, Daphne opens an eye, watching him. I call her name, and she chirrups, moves over and nestles against me. 

“Someone likes you,” Even says over my shoulder, leaning down and kissing my temple.

“She is a bit cute,” I say, looking up at Even, his hair a riotous mess but still beautiful.

I can hear Even singing in the kitchen, some tacky pop song from our school days. Moments later, Even is back with a tray of coffee, chopped fruit and croissants.

“I hope this is OK?”

“OK? This is the best breakfast I have had in a long time. Thank you.”

“I’ll just move this little one to the lounge, back in a tick.”

I wait for Even to return, then take a sip of the coffee, which is amazing. It is definitely from a machine, not an instant one!

“How are you this morning? I hope this hasn’t been too overwhelming for you.”

“I’m good. It’s as if something has changed within my mindset, allowing me to let myself enjoy this.”

“I’m enjoying this. I, um, I thought maybe you would wake up and have had a change of heart.” Even’s honesty stops me in my tracks. 

“I guess my behaviour has been a little erratic, so I can’t really blame you.”

We finish our breakfast, and I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I stare at my reflection as I clean my teeth, and all I can think about is getting back into bed with Even. It’s like I’ve been exposed to something that I can’t get enough of, like a drug. I’m hooked.

Even is sitting on the edge of the bed, with his back to me, when I walk back into the bedroom. His bare skin is pale but toned and defined. Does he work out? 

I walk around the bed and sit beside him, our thighs and shoulders touching.

“What are you thinking about?” 

“So much. We have been honest with each other so far. Watching you come out of your shell has been a humbling experience, and if you feel for me what I feel for you, then you deserve to know something about me before we get too involved.” 

My mind goes into overdrive, and I know I gasped at Even’s words. I close my eyes and nod for Even to continue. I knew this was too good to be true, that finally being this happy wouldn’t last. I brace myself for the letdown.

“I’m bipolar,” Even says quietly.

“What?” I shriek, turning to look at him. His eyes wide and fearful.

“I said, I’m bipolar.” Even looks at me with questioning eyes.

I take a few deep breaths and process what Even said. 

“So you’re not backing out, ending things?” I say, my voice is ragged, and I can feel tears flowing down my cheeks.

“What? No! Why would you think that?” 

I shrug, unable to answer him.  Even turns to me, taking my hand and kissing it softly.

“Isak, I’ve told you how I feel, how you have swept me off my feet, but I need you to know that bipolar is a big piece of me; I can be impossible to be around sometimes when I’m manic, hypomanic or depressed. It’s something you might want to look into before…”

“Stop. You having bipolar isn’t going to stop me from seeing you. I have waited half my life to have someone amazing, kind, funny, and hot, and now I have that person – you; I’m all in.”

Even’s eyes are wide, and his mouth is formed into a perfect ‘o’ when I look at him. 

“And I meant it when I said I’m going to tell Jonas; I’m done with hiding and not being my true self.”

“You think I’m hot?” Even giggles.

“I think if I had more experience, I would have gotten very carried away with you last night.”

“Yeah? So, can I ask a personal question?”

“Go ahead,” I say, curious as to what the question will be.

“Hmm, well, I’m not sure how to ask because even though I know you’ve never had a relationship before, I don’t know what you like or prefer. Have you ever watched anything and thought it’s something you might like to try?” Even is seriously waffling on now, and it’s fucking adorable to watch. I can’t help but see how far I can make him blush.

“What do you mean? Watched what?” I try to act innocent. 

“Well, um, like, you know, adult stuff on your laptop?”

“Adult stuff?” Oh, this is so easy; he is like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Isak, are you taking the piss right now?” Even grins, and I can’t help but laugh. Even pushes me backwards onto the bed, his fingers tickling my sides. We lay facing each other, our noses gently brushing.

“I’m sorry. I have seen some porn, mostly gay, and, yeah, certain things have caught my eye. But, as you know, I’ve never been in a relationship and have a habit of being very negative towards myself. So, if you are asking if I’m a top or bottom, my instinct is to say bottom, but again, having no experience, I’m not sure.” I try hard not to look away when I say this, wanting to see Even’s reaction.

“I think we are going to learn lots about each other and ourselves, and I can’t wait for that, Isak,”

“Me neither, and as soon as the guys know at work, we can just be us.”

“Us. That sounds good. So, do you have plans for today?” Even asks, nuzzling his nose against mine. God, it feels so good to lie here with him and chill.

“Nothing, really. Do you?”

“I do, actually. But I may need some help, if you’re available?”

“Yeah, sure; what do you need help with?” 

“Well, first of all, I need help with this.” Even smiles and then softly kisses me. His fingers graze through my hair, tugging it slightly and sending jolts of electricity throughout my entire body. 

“I, um, I like you doing that to my hair,” I confess.

“Yeah?” Even smiles and plays with my curls. 

“Is there anything you know you like?” My heartbeat races at the thought of pleasuring Even, turning him on.

“Yeah, maybe a couple, but I want to rediscover them with you; I have so many thoughts about kissing you and holding you.” Even leans in and kisses me, his fingers in my hair again, making me moan and return his kiss.

***

We have spent most of the morning kissing, drinking coffee, smiling, and looking at each other; our thoughts are kept a secret for now. But I need to feel Even against me, so when we clear away our plates after lunch, I press up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest and holding him. 

“What’s this for?” Even asks as he turns to face me, drawing me close.

“I just wanted to hold you close to me; I like having you against me. Sounds silly, I guess, but yeah, I like it.”

“Those are two things I know about what you like now.” Even whispers.

“I wish I knew one of yours,” I whisper back, surprised by my admission.

Even takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom, closing the door behind us. 

“I like having you on top of me.” Even pulls me onto the bed and makes himself comfortable, then drags me on top of him, his hands pulling my ass towards him. Moaning into his neck as I feel his hard dick against mine, I kiss his shoulders and across his chest; the sound of his breath catching just makes me harder. Every action has a reaction, as I continue to kiss down his body until I kiss over his nipple, pushing his t-shirt up out of the way.  It feels soft at first as I swipe my tongue over it, then it hardens as Even curses, pulling the shirt off and lobbing it across the room.

“Fuck, Isak,” Even hisses, his hands tugging at my hair, and fuck, it feels good. He pulls at my top, which is then  discarded on the floor. As I slowly kiss my way down his body, I need to feel more of him, all of him against me. I jump off the bed and yank my sweats down, kicking them away. Even sits up looking flushed and beautiful, then flops back down, lifts his ass and removes his sweats too. 

Our eyes meet, and we silently agree to lose our boxers. 

“Shall I continue?”

Even doesn’t speak; he just nods and swallows hard. I never knew seeing his Adam's apple bob would be such a turn-on, but it is. My mouth continues to lick and kiss Even’s pale skin, making him moan. I pause as the magnitude of what I’m doing threatens to overwhelm me. 

Even shifts from under me and lays me down, kissing me gently.

“Don’t overthink it, baby. Let me take care of you,” His voice is soft, and I could cry at how in tune he is with me already. Closing my eyes, I let any negative thoughts clear as Even kisses his way down my chest. 

His fingers are trailing down over my hips and just grazing the skin, working their way up my inner thigh.

“Oh god, please don’t stop,” I moan without shame.

Even’s kisses land softly at the base of my dick; then I feel his tongue weave a slow path to the tip before the warmth of his mouth envelopes me, and I thrust my hips off the bed.

“Even, yes,” I shout as he takes me into his mouth, his fingers holding me in place. I can feel myself reaching the point of no return and warn him, but he doesn’t pull off, and I come so hard my whole body shakes and trembles as wave after wave hits me. Even pulls off, and as I watch him straighten up, he comes, the warm liquid landing on my legs and lower stomach.

The sight and the sound made my body convulse again; my breath ragged.

“Shit, Isak, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to come all over you.” Even sounds mortified, but I just grab him and pull him on top of me, my mouth needing his.

The kiss was deep, sloppy and hot; I could taste myself on his lips, which was beyond a turn-on as I moaned into his mouth hungrily.

Lying together, Even’s head on my chest, we both gathered our thoughts as our heartbeats slowed.

“Shall we take a shower?” 

“Together?” I ask.

“If you want to, but if you prefer not to, that’s OK,” Even smiles.

I lay there and weighed up the options. The fact we are lying here butt naked together sways my decision.

“Together,” I smile, kissing him again.

“Another first for both of us,” Even grins as he adjusts the shower temperature. My eyes followed his every move. We’re standing close, naked, and I just want to touch him all over.

He must have noticed me staring at him, but didn’t comment; he just held out his hand for me to join him under the water.

“Turn around,” Even whispers as he reaches for the shampoo.

As I turned away from him, he began massaging my hair with slow, circular motions. It felt amazing, and I could feel myself leaning into his touch. He washed my body, raising an eyebrow in question when he drew near my groin. I nod, cherishing his caring touch.

“Have you ever felt like you’re in a dream and you don’t want to wake up and face the reality of it being just that – a dream? Even’s voice is quiet behind me.

“I have. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t want to open my eyes in case it was a dream.” I replied, my voice wrecked with emotion.

Silently, Even continued to wash and rinse me before turning me around and holding me. 

“I don’t know why I am crying; I’m happier than I’ve ever been since meeting you, Isak.”

“I’m happy too, so happy. I can’t believe that in the short time we have known each other, I’ve gone from being painfully closeted to wanting your touch every minute of every day. You make me want you so much it fucking hurts,” I sob and throw myself at his chest, where we cling to each other under the warm water.

I return the favour, wash Even’s hair, and then soap his body, washing away all his worries.

“I love your body against mine. It’s one of the things I’ve always wondered about. How would it feel to lie with someone and be completely yourself around them?”

“Is that how you feel around me, completely yourself?” Even whispers.

“Yeah, it’s like everything has just fallen into place. I think the day you kissed me in the car and I freaked out, I realised that no one would care if they did see us kissing. I almost feel like I’m making up for lost time when I didn’t think I was worthy enough for a relationship.”

“You thought that about yourself?” 

“I did, but not anymore. I’m messaging Jonas later to see if we can meet for coffee tomorrow. I need to put the last 17 years behind me and move on.”

***

Isak:

Thank you for the meal and

for letting me stay over.

I loved every minute of it, Even.

X

Even 🩵:

I loved every minute of it, too x

Bring a change of clothes next Friday

and stay over again – if you want to

of course xx

Isak:

Yeah? I’d like that.

See you on Monday x

Even 🩵:

See you Monday xx

Even

It was surreal to lie there and look at Isak as he slept. His long eyelashes and soft curls were stunning. I offered him coffee and left him in bed with Daphne while I held my excitement about Isak staying over last night. 

I couldn’t help but sing along as I chopped fruit and toasted croissants for our breakfast before joining Isak again. 

I needed to check in to ensure he was OK and not stressing about staying over. Isak was fine; he said something had clicked last night, allowing him to enjoy himself without panicking.

Whilst Isak used the bathroom, I decided to tell him about my bipolar. It's not something I would typically do early in a new friendship or relationship, but this felt different. 

Isak sat next to me on the bed and asked what I was thinking about. Was it that obvious?

As I told him how amazing it was to watch him come out of himself and that, as we had been honest with each other, I had something to tell him, I could feel his whole body tense up. 

Isak’s reaction shocked me; his voice shrill as he looked at me with wide eyes.

This beautiful boy thought I was ending things with him until I reassured him that was the last thing I wanted. Tears splattered over his cheeks as I suggested that he might want to look into bipolar disorder, but he stopped me mid-sentence and told me he wasn’t going anywhere and that I was amazing, kind, funny, and hot. He also said that he was still going to speak to Jonas tomorrow. God, I was so in love with him at that moment.

Isak then played me, watching as I fumbled my way around, asking him what he liked and if he had ever watched porn. Fucker! 

I learned that he thought he might be a “bottom” but wasn’t sure because of his lack of experience. He also admitted he liked having his hair played with/pulled. Hot as fuck. 

We spent the whole morning just chilling and kissing; it was perfect. After lunch, we held each other and ended up naked in bed. Isak was the first to remove his clothes and then kiss his way down my body before he almost froze. 

I soothed him and took the lead, trailing kisses over his skin; his breath was fast, uneven as I neared his dick, then finally took him in my mouth. The scent of him was almost overwhelming, but the sounds he made went straight to my dick.

Isak warned me he was near, but I couldn’t stop; I needed that total connection with him as he came.

I could feel myself tipping over the edge as I knelt up and came all over Isak. I was mortified, but he didn’t care; he just pulled me into a kiss.

Isak surprised me by accepting an offer to shower with me, which was very emotional for both of us. We washed and told one another that we both seemed to think we had been dreaming when, in reality, this was happening. Then, Isak said he felt at ease with me and could be himself. That until now, he didn’t feel worthy of that. I honestly could have cried again when he said that. 

Isak talking to Jonas and coming out to him will be a big step for him, but I know from experience that it will be for the better. Isak said we could just be “us.” 

I want nothing more than for us to be a couple and for me to take Isak on a proper date to make him feel loved. 

The text I received made me smile; Isak said he loved every minute of our time together.

Ditto. 

Isak

Isak:

Hi, Jonas. I don’t

suppose you are around

for a coffee tomorrow, are you?

Jonas:

I can meet you at KB near the 

The Opera house around 11.

Is that OK with you? 

Is everything alright?

Isak:

That’s great, thanks.

I just need to tell you something,

but it’s nothing to worry about. 

See you in the morning.

Jonas:

Cool 👍

If I’m honest, I’m crapping myself about how to tell Jonas I’m gay. Maybe he already knows? We have never really chatted about my love life, just theirs, but they all went to school together and know each other well. I want to get it out of the way so that I can relax. Yeah, tomorrow can’t come around quickly enough.

I flop on the sofa as soon as I have everything organised for work, next week, clean clothes, etc. It’s quiet here, and I miss talking to Even and having him close to me. I could get used to spending more time with Even, a lot more time. 

Thinking back to our conversation this morning, I get the feeling that people have hurt him because of his bipolar. Although I don’t know much about it, it’s not going to stop me from feeling the way I do about Even. 

When he mentioned me looking into bipolar before I “got involved,” I assumed he was going to say I knew I would, but not to look for the bad side of it, but to look into how I can help him in the future. I spent the next few hours finding a reliable source of information and people chatting about themselves having bipolar, and others who have a partner or family member with bipolar. 

Even 🩵:

I miss you. It’s too

quiet here without you 🥺

Isak:

I miss you too.

I like the feel of you next to me.

Jonas and I are meeting at 11 for coffee

tomorrow xx

Even 🩵:

When are you going to tell

Magnus and Mahdi? xx

Isak:

As soon as possible, so we

can just chill and not

worry about people seeing us together.

If you’re happy with that, of course? xx

Even 🩵:

Isak, I will press you against

the wall of the canteen at any

given opportunity…

Isak:

Over my desk with the blinds

closed and door locked…

Even 🩵:

Tell me about one thing you

want to do together xx

Isak:

So many things, Even.

I want to walk hand in hand 

with you.

I want to blow you.

I want to take you out to dinner.

I want to make you come hands-free.

I want all my firsts with you xx 

Even 🩵:

Fuck, Isak. I’m so hard for you

right now. The firsts I want

to enjoy with you will be so

special and intimate, and only 

when we are both ready xx

Isak:

I can’t wait xx 

Even 🩵:

Neither can I. 

xx 😘

***

Sunday

While waiting for Jonas to arrive, I huddled against the wall outside KB, watching people walk briskly towards the Barcode area. It occurred to me that this would be the first time we had met for coffee outside work; no wonder he asked if everything was ok.

I caught sight of Jonas and pushed myself off the wall to greet him.

“Halla,” He grins in his usual chilled manner.

“Halla,” I say as we enter the warm shop.

I grab coffee and a kannelbolle for us both while Jonas finds us seats. I feel anxious as I stand and wait for the coffee; my stomach is turning over. 

“Thanks, Isak. What’s on your mind?” Jonas smiles and puts me at ease instantly.

“So, I have never really spoken about myself outside of work. I’m not big on talking about myself full stop, to be honest.” I look over and see that Jonas is listening, a serious expression on his face.

“I get that coming into a workplace where people have grown up with each other and all found jobs at the same place over time can be intimidating to an outsider. But I would like to think that you felt you could talk to me about anything, and it would be in confidence.”

“That’s why I asked you here; I trust you. Recently, I have met someone and enjoyed their company. They work at our place. We want to be able to be chill in front of you guys, so I needed to tell you that I’m gay.” Breathe.

“Even’s a good-looking guy; I can see why you like him,” Jonas grins.

I nearly choked on my coffee, placing it back on the table and looking at Jonas, who seemed so smug right now.

“You know?” I ask, probably looking so confused.

“I guessed. Have you seen the way he looks at you, Isak? It’s like you just hung all the stars and moons for him.”

“Really?”

“To be fair, you’re not much better, dude!” And the shit-eating grin just gets bigger and bigger.

“Fuck off!” I grin back at Jonas and settle into the sofa with my coffee.

“Seriously, though, I’m glad you felt you could come out to me. Do many people know?”

“Just you and Even. It’s all very new. Actually, that’s not strictly true; my parents found a gay magazine in my bedroom when I was 15, confronted me about it, but didn’t listen to my side of things. I left home, lived with friends through school, went to uni, graduated, found a job, and moved to Oslo.” Again, I looked at Jonas as I told him about my life. 

“Man, I wish I had known you back then; I would have been there for you. Do you know anybody in Oslo, or did you just move here for the job?”

“I didn’t know anyone; I just found a short-term rental apartment while I settled into my job. That was eleven years ago, and the only thing that has changed is that I now own my apartment. The owner passed away, and I was offered it by the relatives who lived up in Tromsø.” The more time I spend with Jonas, the more I want to tell him everything. How sad my life has been for the past eleven or so years. I think we could have been friends for a long time, and I regret not putting myself out there when I first arrived here.

“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer.” Jonas frowns.

I nod because what do I have to lose?

“In all the time you have been with the company and got to know me and the boys, have you made any other friends or had a boyfriend?”

OK, that hit hard as I tried to answer Jonas without becoming emotional. 

“No, I guess you three and now Even are my friends. I kind of got stuck in a rut of working and then going home, so I didn’t go out anywhere to meet people.”

Jonas frowned again, almost like he was angry with himself.

“So many times I’ve thought about asking you for drinks with the boys, but never actually did. I feel ashamed for not even trying.”

“Jonas, don’t feel bad. The chances are, I would have said no anyway; I only went to the Christmas party because it was mandatory. That’s the first time I saw Even; I was avoiding Eva, Chris and Vilde and literally bumped into him.”

“Fate!” Jonas grinned.

“I think so too. I had a breakdown in front of Even, and we talked about everything I've just explained to you. Basically, I just want to forget the past, all the self-doubt and internalised homophobia that has been my life for as long as I can remember.” I can feel the tears welling up, and as I grab a napkin, Jonas pulls me into a hug. It surprises me, but I hug him back.

“Never think that you don’t have friends, Isak,” Jonas says with a serious tone.

“I won’t, thank you.”

***

Monday

I haven’t slept well, partly nervous about today and partly overthinking everything I said yesterday to Jonas. 

When I talked to Even last night, I told him about our conversation and how Jonas had felt guilty for not asking me out for drinks sooner, not realising I had no one else to hang out with. Even said Jonas sounded like a good friend to have on my side, and I have to admit, it does feel good. 

By ten a.m., I struggle to keep my thoughts clear as I remember the text conversation Even and I had about my desk. Then I think about lunchtime and whether he will kiss me or be affectionate towards me in front of the guys. Do I want that? Who the fuck am I kidding? I want it so much it hurts.

Even 🩵:

I’m so over this week already. 

I want it to be Friday and be with

you and the guys, celebrating our

Christmas holidays. xx 

Isak:

I’m looking forward to that, too. xx 

Even 🩵:

Had any more ideas about

things you want to try? 😉

Isak:

Maybe…

What about you?

Even 🩵:

So many. There is one thing

I have never done…

Isak:

I’m listening…

I waited for a reply, but none came. Maybe he had to go to a meeting or something; who knows? I tried to concentrate on actually doing some sort of work, but my mind kept going back to waking up next to Even.

At lunchtime, I wander into the canteen, trying to act calm as I look around for the guys. They are sitting in our new place, the circular booth, which fits all five of us nicely. Jonas smiles as I slide in next to him.

Magnus and Mahdi say hi, mid-debate on some online game they play. 

“You good?” Jonas asks.

“I am. Thanks again for yesterday.”

“Anytime, man.”

“Halla.” My entire body breaks out in goosebumps at the deep tone of Even’s voice. I look at him as he approaches the table and fist-bumps the guys. 

There is an electrical surge when he nears me, and I look up into his eyes. They ask permission, and I grant it. Even leans down and places a soft, lingering kiss on my lips.

I am aware that conversations at the table have stopped. As Even sits beside me, an arm pulls me close, and we turn to face Magnus and Mahdi. 

“Nice moves, Even,” Mahdi grins while Magnus stares open-mouthed.

“Fuck, you guys are dating?” Magnus shrieks.

“We are,” Even confirms, kissing my temple.

“So you were doing the dirty in the toilets at the party!” He cackles.

“Magnus!” Jonas scalds. 

“No, I genuinely did throw my champagne in his face and helped him clear up.” Even confirmed.

After a few minutes, we all sat and ate our lunch, trying to organise who was bringing which beer on Friday night. 

Even stole a few kisses and let his fingers wander across my thigh. Leaning in, he whispered in my ear.

“One thing I want to do is send photos, maybe some risque ones.”

“Risque?” I needed clarification. 

“I can start the ball rolling, Isak.” Another kiss on my head as he stands up and excuses himself.

“Catch you guys later,” he smiles, making my heart beat fast.

“You sly old dog,” Mahdi quips when Even leaves.

“You two are hot together; the girls are going to lose their shit when they find out,” Magnus grins, stuffing the last of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Let's not mention it, guys; Isak and Even may not want to shout it from the rooftops yet.” Jonas looks at me, and I smile.

“Yeah, it’s all still very new, so maybe just keep it between us for the moment,” I suggest. 

My phone vibrates, and because I am a complete twat at times, I don’t think twice about pulling it out and opening the message. Big mistake. Huge. I fumble with my phone, trying to shove it in my pocket while trying to extract myself from the bench seating. 

I can feel my cheeks burning as I wave a quick goodbye to three very bemused-looking faces.

I make my way back to my office and close the door behind me. The heat still burns my cheeks as I sit and pull my phone out. Opening the message again, I look at Even’s selfie, which I presumed to have been taken in the bathroom nearest the canteen. 

Even’s eyes are closed; his mouth is slightly open as he pulls at his nipple. My dick responds to the image before me. Even has opened his shirt and taken the shot in the bathroom mirror; it’s beautiful. 

Isak:

Is this something you like?

Risque photos and nipple play?

Even 🩵:

Yes. But I am now sitting here with

a boner in my office. Worth it, though.

xxx 

Isak:

Me too xxx

Even 🩵:

Maybe you could send me a

hint as to what you think you might

like. No pressure xx

Isak:

I’d rather show you on Friday xx

Even 🩵:

Isak! How am I supposed

to get rid of my boner when you

say things like that?

Isak:

Photo attached:

First-world problems!

Even 🩵:

Oh, that’s dirty, but fucking

hot Isak xx

I grin as I put my phone away. The photo was of me holding the bulge in my trousers! The thrill of sending these pics is intoxicating. I still can’t believe this is my life right now. 

I barely get any work done before heading to my car.

I wait until Even appears, smiling, then strolls over to me like James fucking Dean.

“Halla,” I say as he draws close.

“Hi. I think we will have a lot of fun with these risque photos!”

“Is that a challenge?”

“It is now, Isak.” He leans in and kisses me, his hand at the back of my head, pulling my hair slightly.

“Fuck, Even, That’s a low blow.” I pant when he pulls away.

“Drive safely, baby. I’ll call you later, yeah?”

“Looking forward to it,” I smile, climbing into my car.

Even

Isak spent all that time with me, and it was amazing. I’m still dumbfounded by how much he has grown in confidence. I love his sassy side and his vulnerability. 

Meeting with Jonas was a massive step, but Isak proved himself again and put himself first. 

Our texts were a little hot when Isak said he wanted to do to me, but they were also fucking cute. Being his first for everything melted my heart. At the rate Isak is going, I will be the one slowing things down, not him.

We messaged before lunch on Monday, just a couple, before we met in the canteen. I played it cool and made sure Isak was still OK with us making our relationship public. His little look was all the encouragement I needed to kiss him.

It felt good to do that and prove to Isak that I was in this for the long haul. The boys were gobsmacked, but happy for us.

Telling Isak that I liked the idea of risque photos made me feel lightheaded as I excused myself and fled to the nearest bathroom. 

I had so many photo ideas running through my mind, but I kept it simple and went for the naked chest shot. My only regret is not seeing Isak’s reaction to that and the fact that I have given myself a boner in the process. 

Isak played dirty and sent a photo back of him gripping his dick and fuck, if that didn’t make me harder. 

As I walked into the car park, Isak was there by his car waiting for me. His smile was the most beautiful thing ever. Knowing he loved it, I couldn’t help but kiss him and tug his hair. His response is perfect; he’s breathless, and his pupils are blown. Hot. As. Fuck. 

Chapter Text

Isak

Tuesday

Even 🩵:

I’m sorry, I am out twice this week.

It was all organised before I started my

new job. 🥺

Isak:

That’s OK, Even,

I understand, but

I miss you xx

Isak:

Sorry, that sounds

really needy xx

Even 🩵:

I miss you, too, baby.

It’s not needy, just honest xx

I’m looking forward to Friday…

Isak:

So am I. 

Still OK for me to stay over?

Even 🩵:

I am looking forward

to that bit the most xx

Isak:

Me too xx

Thursday

I woke up to a huge amount of photos of Even at a dinner he attended last night, where he was standing with various friends and old work colleagues. As I scroll through them, I can’t help but smile at his tux, which starts immaculate and ends up very dishevelled.

After putting my phone down, I make coffee and breakfast and continue to look at the photos as I sit at the kitchen table.

I’ve never considered myself a jealous person, but seeing a photo of Even with the same woman from the Christmas party annoys me. I have no reasoning behind it other than that she was all over him that night, albeit she was a little drunk. 

Tapping the screen, I move to the next photo, which shows the two of them again. This time, she is kissing Even’s cheek.

Quitting the photos, I toss my phone on the table, pace around, and try to come up with a rational answer, but I can’t. My phone pings, but I don’t look at it. Realising the time, I throw on my clothes, toss my phone in my bag and leave for work. 

How I got to work is a mystery; muscle memory, I guess. Sitting in my office, the blinds still closed, the door locked, and the lights off, I try to keep it together. 

A knock on the door startles me, but I keep quiet, hoping whoever it is will leave—another knock.

“Isak, open the door, please.” Even says, trying the handle, but I still don’t move. I can feel myself shaking as tears glide over my cheeks, but still, I don’t move.

“Please talk to me, Isak. You haven’t read my messages this morning–what’s going on?” 

My phone had gone off several times on the way to work, but I ignored it. 

“Isak, I think I know what’s happened. I guess you have scrolled through my photos and seen the ones where Sonja is being her usual overbearing self; am I right?”

Silence. 

“A friend sent me all of those, and I just forwarded them to you so you could see my old work friends. I guess it was insensitive of me not to check them first. I’m sorry. I’m not sure if you have seen all of the photos or the video yet; I suspect not. Could I ask you to do that? Things may be a little clearer for you. I will go back to my office now and leave you in peace. I’ve missed you. Talk to you later, Isak.”

I hear him push away from the door and walk away. What have I done? I scramble through my bag, grab my phone, and reopen the photos. Scrolling through them, I find where I left off and continue looking at them. 

The sequence tells a different story from the one running wild in my head. 

Even clearly looks pissed off at Sonja kissing him, and then the photos stop, replaced by a two-minute video. My finger hovers, and I take a deep breath before pressing play.

“Sonja, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Oh, come on, Even, I’m only messing around; chill the fuck out,” Sonia grins at him, leaning in towards Even again.

“I’m done. This stops now. I warned you after my last work party to stop acting like we are together. We’re not, never have been and never will be.”

“Seriously? Is this because of that blonde guy you were with that night? How’s that working out for you? Just wait until he finds out you have bipolar disorder; he will run a mile. I’m the only friend who has always stuck by you.” Sonja spits back at Even.

Even's expression changes as he takes a moment to consider his words. He smiles at Sonja as she stands there, thinking she has won the spat.

“Isak is the most genuine person I’ve ever met. Isak and I are working out just fine; thanks for asking. He knows all about my bipolar and is not phased by it. In the short time we have known each other, I know more about him than I do about you. What does that tell you, Sonja?

When I see Isak, he takes my breath away. When I hold Isak, I feel calm. When I kiss Isak, my whole world is complete, and that is something I have never felt with anyone, ever. I suggest you delete my number, Sonja. We are done.”

“You can’t just walk away from nearly twenty years of friendship. What will your parents think? They won't allow you to do this.” Sonja is beyond mad.

“Sonja, I no longer need my parents' permission to fall in love with someone. They accepted me for who I was years ago, but you never have. You couldn’t have me, so you tried to destroy any chance of love I had. The sad thing is, I never realised that until I met Isak.”

Even took his phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen a few times. He turned the screen towards Sonja. 

“You’re blocking me? What are you, 15?!” Sonja screeched.

Even doesn’t react, just walks away, and the video ends.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I feel like an asshole at how I have treated him. 

Isak:

I’m so sorry, Even.

XX

I sit there and wonder how on earth I’m going to make it up to Even for acting like a jerk. I watch the video again, listening to Even’s calm voice as he puts Sonja in her place. I’d like to hear how they met and if his parents will understand his reasoning behind telling Sonja to butt out.

For the second time this morning, a knock at the door makes me jump. Turning the key, I opened the door to find Even looking worried. Any bad thoughts melt away as I pull him in and lock the door again.

“I’m so sorry, Even. I had no right to ignore your messages and make you worry. I just panicked and let my thoughts run wild. You were right; I didn’t look at any more photos after the one where she is kissing your cheek.” My voice fades as I look at the floor.

Even lifts my chin and smiles. His thumb caresses my cheek, and I lean into his touch. 

“Kiss me, baby,” Even whispers.

It’s soft and slow, apologies being made; it’s perfect.

“I’m sorry, too, Isak. I just didn’t think before sending them to you. But in a way, I’m glad you saw them because you now know that there isn’t anything between Sonja and me.”

“I’d like to know how you met and how your parents are involved at some point. Is that OK?”

“Perfectly OK, baby.”

“You look good in a tux,” I smile, thinking about the photo where his hair is dishevelled, and his bow tie hangs loosely around his neck.

“Thank you. I wish I had taken you last night; I would have been so proud to introduce you to my friends.”

Blushing, I lean against Even’s chest and hold him.

***

After lunch, I found myself looking at the photos again, saving my favourite to my phone. Hearing that he wanted to introduce me to his friends feels overwhelming, but I am so happy, I would do that for him. 

Even 🩵:

Find me if you can…

Isak:

What?!

Even 🩵:

Find me. 

First clue…21

Isak:

21? 

OK, give me a minute.

I have no idea what Even is playing at, so I’m stalling for time and waiting for the next clue. 

Isak:

Next clue.

Even 🩵:

535 

You have 5 minutes until your 

next clue…

There are 21 floors in this building, but what’s the 535 all about? I can’t believe what I’m about to do; I’m in my thirties, for Christ's sake, but I find myself entering the lift and pushing the button for the 21st floor.

Peering out, it’s empty up here, like deserted empty. I stand still and listen for sounds, but it’s deadly quiet. 

The layout on this floor is slightly different from mine, and as I wander around, I notice that every door has a number in the top right-hand corner. I vaguely remember that info from fire evacuation training. 

I follow the numbers, and as I get near number 535, I smile, knowing that Even probably doesn’t expect me to find him without the third clue. 

I listen at the door but can’t hear anything. Maybe I’m wrong, but there is only one way to find out. I pull up my phone and take a selfie, including the number on the door. 

I wait and watch as the grey ticks turn blue.

Even 🩵:

I’m impressed!

Come in xx

“Hi,” Even smiles up at me from the floor. The only light is a desk lamp pointing into the corner of the room, away from Even.

“I bought us some coffee and cookies; come and join me.”

He pats the floor next to him, and I go without a second thought.

“I hope these are still warm.” Even passes my coffee over and leans in to kiss my hair. 

“This is a nice surprise,” I say after sipping the sweet cinnamon-flavoured coffee.

“I thought we could spend a few minutes together. I still feel awful about the photos.”

“I still feel bad about my overreaction. So I guess we even each other out, yeah?”

We move together and hold hands.

“How did you know this floor was empty?”

“I came up here last week— I like taking photos and was curious about the view from up here.”

“Our own safe space,” I chuckle.

We finish our coffee and cookies, then make a move for the lift. Once inside, Even crowds me against the wall and takes my mouth with his, and fuck if that doesn’t get me instantly hard. The lift slows, and as the bell rings, the doors open, and Jonas stands there. His expression changes from shock to realisation, and a shit-eating grin splits his face.

“Hi,” Even croaks, his voice a little high-pitched.

“Even, Isak,” He smiles as he gets in the lift and presses the door close button.

The ride between floors is painfully quiet. Even excused himself on the eighth floor, and as the door closed, Jonas turned around and grinned at me.

“You two are like a pair of teenagers!” 

I can’t help but laugh along with him. 

“Guilty, I guess.” My cheeks are burning, but Jonas just claps me on the shoulder as we exit the lift and go our separate ways.

Even 🩵:

I don’t regret a thing xx

Isak:

Me either xx

Even 🩵:

Are you free this evening? x

Isak:

I am x

Even 🩵:

Can I come over? X

Isak:

Sure, what time? xx

Even 🩵:

7:30 OK? 😘

Isak:

Look forward to it xx 

***

I’d never given it much thought until now, how much I’ve missed out on. When I think back over the last few weeks, it’s funny how much my life has changed. 

I’m sitting here waiting for Even. I've had a relaxing bath, shaved, and put on some aftershave. Butterflies swarm in my stomach as anticipation bubbles to the surface because all I can think about is getting naked with him.

I smile and open the door when the intercom buzzer cuts through my thoughts. 

“Hi there,” Even hugs me, followed by a scorching kiss that leaves me tongue-tied.

I watch as he slips off his coat and shoes, then picks up his bag.

“I thought you might like to see these. He takes an old photo album out of his bag as we walk through to the lounge.

“Are they cute photos of you?” I snicker as we get comfy on the sofa.

“I’ll let you be the judge of that.”

Even opens the album and reveals some family shots of him and his parents.

“So this is me, aged eight or nine, I guess. That’s my dad, Lars and my mum, Sara.

“Wow, you look like your mum.” 

Turning a few more pages, another family appears in the photos. 

“This is Karl and Freya with Sonja.”

“How old are you in this photo?” I ask, unable to take my eyes off Sonja, who isn’t looking at the camera but at Even.

“Fourteen. That’s the year our parents met, through my Dad's company. Karl started to work there; they had moved to Oslo for the job and didn’t know anyone. Our mums became friends, and I guess Sonja tagged along. My mum asked me to keep an eye on her at school, which I did, but as I grew older, it became a chore. Even more so when she made it pretty obvious that she wanted to be more than friends.” Even paused as if remembering something.

“You can stop if you like; we don’t have to talk anymore if it’s making you uncomfortable,” I say, taking his hand.

“How about a drink, then I will continue.”

“Come on, let’s grab one and maybe a kiss,” I smile, trying to jolly him up.

We take our juice back to the lounge and cuddle up on the sofa again. Even’s arm around my shoulder as I lay against him.

“I love this.” I sigh.

“Define ‘this’,” Even asks, kissing my head.

“You and me cuddling up on the sofa.”

“It’s a perfect way to spend time with someone special.”

I snuggle a bit closer and kiss Even’s neck.

“About eighteen months after Sonja and her family moved to Oslo, I had my first manic episode. At first, my parents thought I was going through a phase, partying all hours, reckless behaviour, etc. I don’t remember much about it, but I was arrested for trying to break into the school.

Then, I crashed and spent weeks in a hospital, where they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. My parents were able to put little pieces of a puzzle together, which accounted for certain behaviours I had been showing.”

“Can I ask what you mean by ‘crashed’? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Even kissed my hair and ran his fingers through it, making me snuggle closer.

“So after I am manic or hypomanic, where I hardly sleep and have boundless energy, act very excitable, etc., I crash, falling into a deep depression that can take weeks to come out of. This is where Sonja comes into it. After I came home from the hospital, I didn’t leave my room for weeks. I just lay in bed and slept. It was hard for my parents to learn to cope with a son with bipolar, watching me lose weight and push any kind of care and affection away. I didn’t take care of myself, like showering, etc.

One night, I remember coming around from a deep sleep to find Sonja touching me like she was going to give me a hand job. My boxers were pulled down slightly. She must have thought I was still asleep or under the effects of the drugs I was on, but I panicked and shoved her off me, making her fall off the bed.”

“Fuck, Even, I’m sorry; that’s awful. I can’t believe she did that.” 

“Did you tell anyone?”

“Sonja laughed at me and said that it was Ok for me to touch her but not for her to touch me. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I asked her. Sonja claimed that when she had come in to check on me, when I first came out of the hospital, she cuddled me and that I pulled her onto the bed and forced myself on her. I said I wouldn’t have done that, but she said I couldn’t prove what she had just done, and then Sonja left.”

“Did you ever think about talking to your parents about it? In the video, she made it sound like your parents would not be happy if you did block her.”

“At the time, I was still going through so many emotions and just buried it. The longer I left it, the more pointless it seemed to bring it up with Mum and Dad.” Even looked tired.

“I take it your parents and Sonja’s are still close?”

“No, not really. Karl and Freya divorced years ago; he wasn’t a very nice person and had been having an affair for years. My mum took Sonja in and let her stay with them for a year until things settled down and she found her own place.”

“Is it too late to say something if it’s still affecting your everyday life now?” I ask.

My heart ached for Even as he sat there, trying to keep himself together.

“Let it out, Evy,” I whispered, and that’s all it took for him to crumple into me. I pulled him onto the sofa and held him with everything I had; my arms wrapped him up tightly as he sobbed. 

When Even calmed and his breathing slowed, we sat up and quietly held hands.

“It’s eaten away at me all this time, turned my relationships into nothing because she just keeps reminding me there’s nothing I can do to stop her obsession with me. But I meant what I said; I am done with her, with it, with anything to do with her, and if that means me telling my parents everything, then I will because there is no way I will let her destroy our relationship, Isak.”

“I will help you in any way I can, even if it gets ugly. I promise I’m not going anywhere. OK?”

“Thank you, Isak. It feels good to have told someone. Over the years, I have thought about telling my therapist; it just never seemed to be the right time. Maybe now, it is.”

“I think so, too.”

We cuddle on the sofa and giggle about almost being caught in the lift by Jonas. 

“That kiss was hot, though, don’t you think?” Even smiled.

I nod, nuzzling into his warm arms until it’s time for him to leave.

“Remember to pack a bag for tomorrow night or the weekend if you aren’t busy?” 

“I will; I’m looking forward to it and spending time with the guys out of work. Jonas felt so bad for not inviting me out before; he had no idea I had no friends outside of work.”

“I am sure there will be plenty of chances in the future.”

“I’d like that. I am also looking forward to spending more time with you.”

Even

I’m gutted that I had planned parties this week and wouldn’t be able to see Isak as much, but that just made Friday night something special to look forward to. 

It was great seeing my old friends and colleagues again; just a shame Sonja was invited (not by me; I’m still pissed at her for her last stunt)

Mikael sent me loads of photos during the evening, so I forwarded them to Isak, wanting him to see my friends and old colleagues. 

Thursday

I messaged Isak first thing, but got no reply, which was odd. After sending a couple more and them all being left unread, I wondered if I had done something to upset him.

I scrolled through last night's photos, waiting for Isak to reply, and then I saw a picture of Sonja kissing my cheek. That’s why Isak was not responding to my messages. I scrolled on, saw my reaction, and then noticed a video. 

My gut feeling was that Isak had looked at the photos but had not gone further than Sonja kissing me. 

Isak’s car was already at work, so I headed for his office. It was dark, and the door was locked, but I knew he was in there. 

I talked to him through the door, hoping he was listening to me. All I could do was give him time to think about everything I said.

Isak messaged me, and I went straight to him. He unlocked the door, pulled me in, and locked us in. As I suspected, he hadn’t moved past that photo until I asked him to. I stopped his spiralling by asking for a kiss before we talked a little, and both calmed down. 

By early afternoon, I still felt bad about the photos, so I went and bought a coffee for us both. As I walked back in through the lobby, I decided that it would be nice to have Isak to myself for fifteen minutes, to apologise again. 

My new favourite place to go is the twenty-first floor as it has amazing views over the Oslo Fjord. I sent him a few clues and was amazed that he found me as quickly as he did.

Just spending those few minutes together drinking coffee was perfect. The kiss in the lift on the way back down was even better until Jonas caught us!

Earlier, in Isak’s office, he asked about how Sonja and I met and how Mum and Dad were involved, so I made plans with him to pop over and explain everything. 

I took an old photo album to show him how our families met and how Sonja became the spiteful person she was and still is.

I had no idea how reliving what I went through when I was newly diagnosed would make me feel so emotional, but telling Isak was a huge relief; years of keeping it all in were gone, and the realisation that I felt I could tell my parents now gave me hope. 

Sonja was not going to ruin my relationship with Isak. Of that I am certain.

Isak

The last day at work for two weeks and spending the night around Even’s had finally arrived. I can’t see a great deal of work being done today by anyone. The mood as I walked through the sixth-floor open area was almost at fever pitch by lunchtime, with music playing and gifts being exchanged. Fuck! Christmas gifts. Something I have not bought for anyone, apart from joke ones when I lived in the flat share. 

That was a sobering thought that I pushed away as I went down to the canteen to see the boys. Even was already there, sitting next to Magnus, who was grinning wildly as I came in.

“Isak, are you ready for the party later?” He asked as he moved around to let me sit next to Even. 

“I am, bags are already packed.” Fuck, that came out before I could stop myself.

“Isak! Does that mean you are staying over? Are we all staying?” Magnus looked at everyone in turn until Even spoke up.

“No, Magnus, it’s just Isak who has a backstage pass this evening.” he grins at him and then at me.

“I think that’s probably a good thing after your session in the lift yesterday,” Jonas laughs.

Even laughs along with him, placing his hand on my thigh, caressing it softly.

“Are you sure you don’t need us to bring any food tonight?” Jonas asks.

“No, just whatever beer you prefer; I’ve got the food covered.” Even’s fingers are caressing their way up the inside of my thigh, and I’m not moving. I want to see how far he takes this before he chickens out, because this is one of my fantasies and it’s turning me the fuck on.

No one is in a hurry to get back to work, the canteen is busy, and then someone blasts music through a Bluetooth speaker. 

Without warning, Even’s fingers slide in between my thighs and brush against my balls. I manage to keep calm and not shriek in surprise; I simply smile and look at him. Game on.

Although there is not a lot else he can do without making it obvious, the constant pressure and slightest movement excite me. 

“OK, boys, see you later.” Mahdi is the first to leave, followed by Magnus and Jonas, who leave together.

Even and I don’t move at first, just look at each other, smiling.

“You have no idea how turned on I am,” I whisper.

“Care to show me?” Even almost looks like he can’t believe what he has just said.

“535?”

“Fuck, Isak. I can’t move from here now for another ten minutes,” He whines, moving away from me, but grinning. But within two, he stands up and walks towards the door, turning to look at me and gesturing with a chin flick to follow him. Fuck.

As the lift takes us to the twenty-first floor, we stand quietly. As the door opens, Even leads the way, until we are behind a closed and locked door. It’s dark in the office, but not too dark that we can’t see each other. 

“Hi,” Even says as he pulls me close.

“Hi,” I manage as Even kisses my neck, sucking and nibbling up towards my ear. My legs tremble as I grab hold of him. 

Pulling me towards the desk, he leans against it; I automatically slot between his thighs, pressing myself against him, kissing him softly, despite the need for more. Even’s hands glide over my backside, his long fingers searching.

Thoughts of his fingers pushing into me make my mind race.

I brave brushing my hand over his trousers, his moan as I graze across his dick makes my whole body shudder.

I slowly pull his fly open, then pop the button, exposing his boxers. My fingers follow the outline of his hard dick, as precum soaks through the material. Kneeling, I kiss his hardness, making him moan again. 

This time, I don’t falter or overthink it. Peeling his boxers away, I look up at Even, who is watching me, his eyes are hooded, as I take him in my mouth. Fuck, the salty taste of him and musky smell nearly put me over the edge as I find a rhythm.

“Please, don’t stop, baby,” Even moans as he twists his fingers through my hair, guiding me. 

My own dick is straining against my trousers, but I’m too busy listening to Even’s panting and enjoying small thrusts that push his dick further into my mouth. 

“Isak,” Even warns, tugging my hair. But I’m not letting go, I need this as much as he does. And then he cries out, as warm liquid gushes to the back of my throat. I swallow every last drop, licking every trace away.

“Fuck, Isak,” Even moans, pulling me back up, his mouth crashing into mine, before he switches places with me and drops to his knees, tugging my trousers open and pulling my boxers down. No sooner had his mouth settled around me, I came so hard I fell back on the desk, completely spent, while Even licked every inch of me clean. 

It took a moment for me to catch my breath; Even tucked me back in and zipped me back up.

I could hear him adjusting his clothing, and I looked over at him. His smile was gorgeous as he walked over and pulled me back up, slotting himself between my legs.

“You are full of surprises, aren’t you?” Even grins.

“No one is more surprised than me,” I smile. 

“Any more surprises you want to share with me later?”

“Maybe. I’ve managed two off my list today already.”

“Two?” Even looks confused.

“I liked it when you were touching me in the canteen; definitely want to explore that further.”

“Is that a challenge, Isak?”

“It is now. But maybe we should think about getting back to our separate offices until we can get out of here,” I kiss him and then move to the door, unlocking it and slipping out.

***

Even 🩵:

Can’t wait to spend the night

with you, baby 😘

Isak:

I can’t either.

I’m about to leave if that’s OK.

I know it’s early, but I just want to hold you xx

Even 🩵:

I’m waiting xx

“Halla,” Even greets me with a hug.

I pull him close, savouring it. I suspect the next few hours will be busy and loud.

“Go and put all your stuff in the bedroom while I check the food and pour you a glass of wine.”

I kiss him, just a brief linger on his beautiful lips before moving to the bedroom and leaving my bag tucked away. 

The kitchen smells amazing as I stand in the doorway watching Even taste something from one of the three slow cookers he has on the worktop.

When he notices me, he takes another spoonful and invites me to taste it.

“This one is chilli, not too hot, I hope.” Even looks at me expectantly as I savour the spoonful offered.

“It’s amazing,” I smile, as he then offers me a glass of wine. 

“This is my own chicken curry recipe,” He offers me a second mouthful to try.

“That’s also really good, Even.”

“Phew, let’s hope the guys like it.” He raises his glass of wine and carefully chinks it against mine.

“To room 535,” He smiles.

“Room 535,” I repeat, smiling back.

We organise the plates and cutlery on the counter, then wait in the lounge for the guys to arrive. Daphne is there on the sofa, watching as I sit. 

“I’ll put her in her room now; I’m sure Mags will be a little overwhelming for her!”

“Good call.” 

“So can I have a kiss before all hell breaks loose?” Even asks, as he comes back in and pulls me off the sofa. I hold him close, as our lips meet in a slow, soft kiss.

“Can we spend some time together over Christmas?” Even murmurs into my hair.

“I don’t want to be in the way of any plans you already have.”

“Any plans I have include you, Isak. I don’t have many to be honest, just lunch with my parents on the twenty-fourth, which I realise may be a little overwhelming for you.”

The idea is a bit much to take in, and Even can see my thought process immediately.

“You don’t have to come, Isak, but the offer is there, if you change your mind, OK?”

“OK,” 

The intercom makes us both jump and giggle. 

“Let me get that, brace yourself!”

I grab my wine and take a good mouthful, as the guys all step out of their shoes and hang their coats. 

“Halla,” Jonas smiles, hugging me. It’s the first time we have hugged in this situation, but it doesn’t feel awkward or out of place. It is like we have known one another for years. I feel good as I hug him back. 

Magnus and Mahdi followed suit, side-hugging and back-slapping.

“Would you like to put your beers in the fridge?” Even shows them to the kitchen, and I follow, watching as six-packs are torn open, the remains shoved in the fridge. Mahdi looks at the slow cookers and smiles.

“Home cooking; I like it,” He grins.

“Isak, I never thought you would be a wine person,” Magnus looks surprised.

“I do drink beer too, but I’m on the wine tonight.”

“To friends,” Even makes his second toast of the night as we all cheer and hold our drinks in the air.

“Let’s go through and put some music on,” Even suggests, leading the way, closely followed by Magnus, unsurprisingly.

“Bathroom is there,” He points out on the way.

Everyone links their phone to the Bluetooth speaker and takes turns playing their favourite tracks. It’s nice to sit and learn more about the guys, who clearly have a strong bond.

“So, have you all known each other since school?” Even asks.

“Magnus and I have been in school together since day one! Mahdi joined a few years later, and that was it,” Jonas explained. 

“Wow, that’s a long time!” Even looks over to me and smiles. 

“What about you two? Are you both from Oslo?” Mahdi asks.

“I am; I went to Bakka, hoping to get into filmmaking and producing, but it didn’t work out that way, so I worked for my Dad’s company for a few years, between other jobs. Nothing exciting, I’m afraid.”

All eyes seem to turn on me, and I can feel my anxiety ramp up. Tonight is not the night I want to discuss my tragic past.

“Isak, can you give me a hand in the kitchen?” Even stands up and walks off.

“Back in a tick,” I say, relieved I’ve been saved.

Even is stirring one of the meals and points to the other one, handing me a serving spoon to stir the other pot. 

“Thank you,”

“That’s OK. I didn’t think you would want to talk about that at the moment. Maybe one day when you know them a little better, yeah?”

“Yeah. Jonas knows, and that’s enough for now.”

“Would you like to call them through, while I stir the rice?” Even steals a kiss as he mixes the fragrant rice. 

I gather the guys, and they all bundle in and help themselves to the dishes. Even looks happy, plating up naan bread and watching Magnus and Mahdi dig in.

“You good?” Jonas asks, standing next to me.

I look at him and realise that he has picked up on Even’s subtle rescue. I smile and nod.

“They don’t need to know anything you don’t want them to, but I do know that if you grew up here, I would have had your back, and I know they would have too.”

“Thanks, Jonas. I have a feeling we would have been good friends back then, so we need to make up for that now, going forward; what do you reckon?”

“I’ll drink to that!” 

“Man, this food is amazing, Even,” Magnus grins as he finishes his second helping.

“Yeah, that was a mean chilli,” Jonas agreed.

“Thanks, guys; shall I set up FIFA?”

“Yes! Get in,” Magnus and Mahdi whoop, taking their plates to the kitchen. Jonas and Mahdi start washing and drying the plates, leaving Magnus to open cupboards and find homes for everything.

“You know they’re cleaning your kitchen right now,” I laugh as Even is setting up the console.

“Why? I have a dishwasher!”

“Let’s not tell them until it’s all finished!”

The FIFA tournament was loud but fun. The guys were all bantering and catcalling, something I’ve never been a part of until now.

“Issy, come on, put some effort in, I’m all over your team!” Jonas cackles.

The nickname took me by surprise, but I felt a part of this loud, crazy group of friends I’d become fond of. 

“Hold kjeft! I shout back, trying my hardest to score, but failing miserably, making Jonas and Even high-five as I was knocked out.

I sit back on the sofa and watch everyone around me and realise that this is the first time I have done this; but instead of my usual rise of anxiety or the need to withdraw, I find myself happier than I’ve ever been. I have friends and I have Even. 

“Thanks for coming over, guys; it’s been a good night.”

“Thanks for hosting, and the food,” Jonas side hugs Even, then hugs me, which I return. 

“Do you reckon you could cope with another night sometime?” Mahdi grins as he handclasps me.

“Yeah, my place next time.”

“Seriously, Isak; man, this is going to be an awesome tradition I’ve started,” Magnus laughs as he embraces Even at the front door.

“See you, guys,” Even says, waving them off and closing the door.

“That wasn’t too much for you, was it?” Even worries as he pulls me into a hug.

“No, I’m fine. Jonas is proving to be a good friend, it’s just a shame it’s taken this long to get together.”

“Well, we can do this again, plus nothing is stopping you and Jonas from meeting up for coffee again, or a night out with him. I get the feeling he needs a good friend, too.”

“I’d like that.” 

“Bedtime, I think,” Even smiles, turning off the kitchen lights and pulling me along with him to the bedroom.

Cuddling up with Even is everything. It calms me, grounds me even.

“So, you liked my hand on your thigh earlier, in the canteen?”

“I did; I think that’s something we should continue, with each other.”

“Is it the thought of being caught that’s a turn-on?” Even’s fingers are gliding up and down my back as we lie, facing one another. With every downward stroke, they get nearer to my ass. 

“I think so, but also maybe it’s a control thing? Like today, you were in control of how far you were willing to go, and I was in control of how far I was willing to let you go. So when your fingers nudged my balls, it was as if I were daring you to go further, to test you and to test myself with how turned on I can get without anyone noticing.”

“Tell me what else turns you on, baby.” 

“Risk-taking seems to be a theme for us. The lift, room 535 and today, in the canteen. You asked me last week if I had ever watched porn, and I said I had; I do, but not to get off necessarily, more to see what I think I would like. I don’t want to sit here and list everything; I want to explore it with you. I get that this is new for both of us and it’s still early in our relationship, but I’m not scared to explore anything with you and I’m not embarrassed to admit that.” Taking a deep breath, I pull Even into a kiss, which we both deepen.

I push Even onto his back and hook my leg over his thighs as I kiss my way over his shoulder. Even’s soft moaning encourages me further down his chest, swirling my tongue over his pebbled nipple. I reach under the pillow and take the small bottle of lube I’d hidden there, without Even noticing.

The thought of what I’m about to do makes my dick ache. Kissing my way over Even’s stomach makes him roll his hips.

“So good, Isak.”

“Yeah? I love hearing you moan, calling my name.” And I do, it connects us in that moment.

Kissing back up his chest, I watch his reaction when my fingers stroke up and down his length. His eyes search mine. Slow movements make Even’s eyes close as he relaxes into my touch. My fingers feel their way over his balls, between his thighs, just like he did earlier. Even’s hand grabs at the bedding as I carefully guide his thighs open a little more, my fingers touching the soft skin of his taint.

“Fuck, Isak,” He cries out.

“Is this OK? I ask, as my middle finger gently caresses him.

“Please,” Is all he can manage, and so I continue.

I change position, allowing me to spread Even’s legs a little wider. Watching his expression is as much of a turn-on as touching him. So when I “snick” the lube open, his eyes fly open and find mine staring back at him. Squeezing a small amount onto my fingers, I look back at him with questioning eyes. The slight nod of consent makes me moan along with Even.

As my tongue licks across his hip, I circle his hole with a small amount of pressure before I tentatively push the tip of my middle finger through his tight pucker, letting it rest there for a moment. Gently, I push forward a little and pause again, taking a moment to kiss a path over his naval. 

The warmth surrounding my finger is intoxicating. I withdraw slightly, then push back in, making Even hiss. I pause, then repeat, until my finger is completely enveloped by him. 

As I pull my finger back out, I add a second and carefully ease them both in gradually. Even’s moaning is making my dick throb and drop pre-cum on the sheets. I turn my fingers and curl them upwards, hitting Even’s prostrate. 

“Isak, Isak,” he shouts as he comes all over himself, his entire body twitching. I can feel my fingers pulsating inside him as he grabs my hair, calling my name over and over until I come undone myself. 

“Fuck, Even, Oh, god, Even.” I slowly ease my fingers out and flop back on the bed. 

“Come here, baby,” Even whispers. 

I crawl back up the bed and into Even’s arms, my emotions bubbling to the surface.

I turn to look at Even, who has silent tears streaking across his face. I wipe them away, as he does the same for me. 

The realisation that we have just both experienced something so intimate leaves me breathless.

“I’m falling for you, so badly, Isak.” 

“I’m falling for you, too,” I whisper, as fresh tears escape. 

Even went to the bathroom and came back with a warm cloth, cleaning me with care, before he turned the lights off and spooned me, pulling me close. Sleep comes easily for both of us.

Even

Friday

It's the final day before Christmas break. My morning was quiet, but I tidied up things for the year before heading to lunch.

Isak wasn’t there when I arrived, so I sat and chatted with the guys. Thankfully, Magnus moved when Isak turned up, allowing us to sit together. 

Isak lets it slip that he is staying over at mine later, but I soon shut down a full-on sleepover with Magnus. Close call.

I let my fingers fall on Isak’s thigh, testing the waters, but he didn’t seem to mind, even when I slowly crept up his leg. 

Music started playing as everyone’s lunch turned into an impromptu party. As we chatted, I went all out and wedged my hand between Isak’s thighs, my pinky finger brushing over his balls. I expected Isak to react by slapping my hand away or jumping up, but he didn’t. He looked at me and smiled. A challenge I accepted with a smile of my own.

As the guys took off to finish their day, Isak and I sat for a few more minutes, with Isak telling me how turned on he was. Well, fuck, my dick takes note and presses against my fly. I move away from Isak, but that didn’t work, my dick was not going anywhere, so I come up with the idea that Isak should show me how turned on he was, but he called my bluff mentioning room 535. I couldn’t go anywhere in my state, but I couldn’t not take Isak up on his offer of visiting 535. I moved to the door and gestured for him to follow me. 

The thought of a make-out session excited me as we made our way to the room. Once inside, I pulled Isak to me, biting his neck and making him stumble. We gravitated towards the desk where Isak stood between my legs, pushing against me. Isak’s kiss was soft as I let my fingers pull his ass towards me. 

Feeling Isak’s hand brush over my dick made me moan, causing Isak to shudder. Fuck. I was so hard as he opened my fly and popped the button; the damp patch on my boxers was proof that I was turned on.

Isak dropped to his knees and kissed me through my boxers; a strangled moan escaped me. When I looked down, he pulled me free and took me in his mouth without hesitation.

I grabbed Isak’s hair, as he worked me so well, I begged him not to stop. As my balls tightened, I warned Isak, tried to pull him off, but he didn’t budge as I came so hard in his warmth.

I pulled Isak up and crashed our lips together, before getting on my knees and taking Isak into my mouth. He didn’t last a second, falling back on the desk as he came in my mouth.

I made sure he was tucked away again before I sorted myself out. Pulling Isak back up to sit, I stood between his thighs and teased him about being full of surprises.

Isak admitted that he loved me touching him in public and wanted to explore that again. Well, fuck me, I’m down for that.

We decided to head back to work, so I left first. I don’t think I would have been able to keep my hands to myself in the lift otherwise.

***

After messaging Isak, he arrived earlier than planned, which was fine by me. He looked and smelled amazing, as we kissed hello and organised his bag. He tasted my chilli and curry, loving both. I proposed a toast with our wine to room 535, which made Isak giggle.

I had plans for Christmas day, but wanted Isak to know he was welcome to join me if he wanted to. I could see it was a little overwhelming for him, so I told him to think about it. 

The guys arrived, and the noise level increased with them. Jonas made sure to hug Isak, which I suspect he needed as much as Isak. I think they will become good friends moving forward. In a flurry of coats, shoes and putting beers in the fridge, we settle in the lounge and put some music on. Isak watched as everyone chatted and drank their beers. I hoped it wasn’t too much for him. 

The chat turned to whether we were from Oslo, which I explained I was and a little about my work life. As I finished, it was obvious that Isak was expected to answer too, so I stepped in and asked for help in the kitchen to avoid him having to answer. I made the right choice, and he was thankful. 

Dinner was ready, and as the guys came in, Jonas waited with Isak until there was room for them to grab some food, and we sat around the lounge to eat.

I’m no chef, but everyone enjoyed the chilli and curry, and as I set up the console for a FIFA tournament, the guys washed up. Happy days.

Poor Isak was not cut out for this game; he lost after a banter battle with Jonas, but I could see he had enjoyed the game as he sat back and drank his wine, watching the chaos Magnus brought to the game.

When it was time for the guys to leave, Isak offered to host us at his place the next time we met up. 

I made sure that Isak was OK and that it hadn’t been too much for him, but he assured me he was fine and that he thought Jonas would end up being a good friend, which I encouraged, knowing it would do Isak the world of good to have a friend to fall back on.

We made our way to bed and lay facing one another. I mentioned Isak liking my hand on his thigh earlier, and he blew my mind saying he wants it to continue. This, from the shy closeted man I met a matter of weeks ago. As we talked, I ran my fingers down his back, nearer and nearer to his ass, which I loved the feel of in my hands. 

Isak explained that for him, it was a trust thing; trusting me and also seeing how turned on he could get without anyone noticing. 

We touched on his watching porn, but for him, it wasn’t to get off on it, but rather a visual checklist for things he may like, or with a partner. I am amazed by Isak’s logic and way of viewing things, which he has never experienced. Porn for him was never a sleazy thing. Isak admitted that although our relationship was still very new, he wanted us to explore things together.

Isak pushed me onto my back and kissed his way across my shoulder as he rested his leg over my thigh. Heat surged through me as he kept kissing down over my chest, swiping across my nipple, and my stomach, making me moan. Isak saying he loved hearing me moan and calling his name was cute. 

Isak’s punishing teases continued as he caressed my balls and dick; his eyes watched my every move. I grabbed the quilt as his hands parted my thighs; I swear I saw stars as his fingers smoothed a path along my taint. Isak worried as I cried out, but I urged him to carry on.

Moving slightly, I could feel him watching me as his fingers pressed against my hole. The sound of a bottle opening did two things to me. It made me look directly at Isak and it turned me the fuck on. Watching him as he covered his fingers in lube and silently asked for permission to carry on, I gave in and fell back on the bed.

Isak kissed across my hips as he gently swirled over my hole. The first breech was a little uncomfortable, but he had clearly done his research. He was slow and methodical, easing himself in with care until his finger was entirely surrounded. After a moment or two, he pulled out, only to re-enter with a second finger, feeling his way in. 

As I moaned at his touch, he twisted his fingers inside me, and hit a spot that made me arch my back and convulse, calling Isak’s name; I came so hard, I thought I might pass out.

Isak came too, hard and fast like me. Carefully removing his fingers, he fell on the bed, exhausted.

I was so full of emotion and needed to hold Isak. We lay together and wiped each other’s tears away. I think the enormity of such an intimate act caught us both by surprise, but also made it perfectly clear to me that I had fallen hard for him and needed him to know. To hear him say the same to me was the perfect end to a perfect day.

I cleaned Isak up with a warm cloth, and I spooned him, holding him tight until we both fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Isak

Saturday

Waking up before Even gave me a chance to watch him sleep and appreciate how cute he looks with mussed hair and parted lips. I slip out of bed and pull on my sweats, heading for the bathroom, and then on to make coffee.

Looking through the kitchen cabinets, I find everything and start the coffee machine. Daphne starts meowing, so I let her out of the spare room and fuss her until she pushes her way into Even’s room and sings as she jumps up onto the bed. 

“Morning,” I whisper as I climb back into bed and smile as Even’s eyes open slowly. 

“Morning, baby.”

We hold a conversation with our eyes, one that talks of, are you OK? Did I overstep the mark? To, I’m fine, and thank you. 

A shift in our relationship has happened after admitting we have both fallen hard. A thought occurs to me as we lie there.

“Is there a chance we could meet your parents before the twenty-fourth?”

“I can ask them round for coffee if you like?”

“I just think I would feel better meeting them before a family meal if that makes sense?” I’m not sure it does, but it’s less formal, and I am more likely to relax a little.

Even sits up and grabs his phone, tapping away and then tosses it on the bed. 

“Ooo, you made coffee, you can stay again!” he smiles, reaching for his mug.

“We sit together, sipping our coffee and stroking Daphne, who has wormed her way between our legs.

“Isak, I hope you don’t mind, but when I told Mum and Dad about you, they obviously asked questions, like parents do. I told them the bare essentials so that when you did meet them, there wouldn’t be any awkward questions for you to answer. I’m sorry if that was the wrong decision.” 

“That’s very kind of you, to think ahead like that; of course, I don’t mind.”

Even’s phone pings, and he smiles as he reads. 

“They can come for coffee this afternoon if that’s OK?”

“Look forward to it,” I smile, and it’s genuine. 

We go in search of food and spend a lazy hour eating breakfast and showering.

“How do you feel about going shopping this morning? Maybe grab lunch too?” Even asks as he loads the dishwasher.

I think about it for a moment; a small knot making its presence known in my stomach. Even must realise as he takes my cup and pulls me towards him.

“We can be completely chill, OK? No hand-holding or kisses. Just the two of us out shopping for last-minute gifts, yeah.”

I lean on his chest, taking a deep breath. I feel dumb for overreacting to going out in public with him. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, nuzzling up to him as he kisses my hair.

“Nothing to be sorry for; come on, let’s go and find the tackiest present for Mum and Dad!”

We take the tram into town and walk through the busy streets. I think about getting a gift for Even, but I’m not sure what. 

“Do you need anything while we're here?” Even says as we enter the Christmas market. 

“I’m good, thanks. I will just judge you on your purchases.” I grin at him.

“I’m thinking of new gloves for Mum, so nothing outrageous there.”

I leave Even to search for the perfect pair of gloves and watch the passers-by. Usually, I would be tucked up in the warm, not leaving the house for the Christmas break, so this is a new thing for me. Scary, but OK. Manageable.

“Isak, you look miles away!”

“Just people watching,” I say, following Even through the crowds.

“How about we people watch whilst drinking a coffee?”

As I wait for Even to collect our drinks, I find a small sofa to sit on. It’s busy with shoppers and teenagers hanging out. I watch Even as he waits in line; the girl behind the counter seems to be flustered by his presence, blushing and smiling at him. 

Even seems oblivious to her flirting, but must realise I’m staring at him. He turns and smiles at me; his smile really is something else. I smile back and we hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before he moves along the queue.

Even comes back to the sofa and takes his coat off, then gets comfy next to me. True to his word, he doesn’t get too close, although the sofa is a small one, so it’s difficult. 

“What are you going to get for your Dad?”

“I have no idea; he’s the type of man who has everything. I have his main present, so this is just a little one.” 

Taking a sip of coffee, I try to relax on the sofa and close my eyes for a second.

“Isak!” Holy fuck, no. Vilde’s voice has me sitting up in seconds. I look to where she is winding her way through the coffee shop, with Eva and Chris in tow.

I look over at Even, who gives me a weak smile. Taking a deep breath, I turn and smile; all three are standing there smiling.

“Hi, I’m Vilde. I work with Isak; you’re new to the company, right?” She bats her eyelids at Even as he shakes her hand. What is it with girls flirting today? 

Eva and Chris say hi, and then there is an awkward silence.

“Are you ladies enjoying your shopping?” Even tries to make conversation as I sit there and watch Chris suck on her coffee stirrer suggestively, looking me up and down. Fuck it, I’m so done with my insecurities; I move closer to Even and casually put my hand on his leg. He doesn’t flinch, just puts his arm over the back of the sofa, his fingers resting on my shoulder. Double fuck it; I lean into his shoulder and smile up at the girls. 

“Are you two a couple?” Vilde’s eyes are wide, while Eva just smiles, and Chris looks a little bit pissed off.

“Yes, Even is my boyfriend.” My heart is pounding, but I feel such relief, no more hiding.

“God, you two are cute together.” Vilde giggles. 

“Nice to meet you, Even,” Eva says, dragging the other two away.

Neither of us says anything for a few minutes. Even’s fingers gently brush my neck, and I lean further into him. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” Even whispers.

I look up at him, and without a second thought, kiss him. 

We finish our coffee and wrap up warm before fighting our way through the cafe. And if I happened to be holding Even’s hand as we passed by the counter, and I happened to smile at the flirty girl, then sue me. This man is mine.

Even looks at me as we wander back through the market. The smile as he squeezes my hand makes me grin like a lovesick teenager.

After finding a new tie-pin for his Dad on an antiques stall, we make our way up to the top of the market and cross over into Slottsparken. It’s less crowded here, and although it’s cold, we walk hand-in-hand, both just enjoying the moment.

***

As the time for Even’s parents grows ever nearer, I start to feel a little anxious. I get that everyone who meets their partner's parents for the first time is never-wracking, but for me, it’s the thought of questions I may be asked and not knowing how to answer them. 

“I can hear you overthinking things, baby.” 

“I’m OK, just, you know, a bit nervous,” I smile weakly.

The sound of the intercom makes me jump; Even pulls me into a hug, kissing my hair.

“It’s going to be fine; I promise.” 

Even opens the door as he presses the buzzer. I just stand there taking deep breaths and count to five a few times.

“Hi, son,” A friendly female voice floats through the door.

“Hi, Mum, Dad, come on in.”

I smile as Even comes back into the lounge, followed by his parents.

“This is Isak,” Even grins and slips an arm around my waist. 

“Isak, this is Sara and Lars.”

I hold my hand out to Lars, receiving a firm shake and hello, then I do the same to Sara, but she has other ideas and gives me a quick hug. 

Surprisingly, it didn’t feel awkward as we all sat down; Even had already had soft music playing, which took the edge off.

Sara offered to make the coffee and was soon back with a tray full of drinks and biscuits.

“Are you all organised for Christmas?” She asks, looking at Even.

“I am almost finished. We have been to the centre today and had lunch; it was busy!”

“That was a brave move; your Mum wanted us to go, but I just couldn’t do it!” Lars smiled at Sara, who gave me a run for my money in the eye-rolling stakes.

They both seem chilled and laid back, just as Even had described them. I’m not sure who I was envisioning, maybe sterner, miserable people, like I remember my parents.

As they were leaving, the offer to come over with Even was mentioned. There were a few seconds of silence; Even was about to say something, but I stopped him.

“I’d love to come, thank you for the offer at short notice,” 

“Isak, I can assure you we will be eating for days; Sara has a habit of making far too much food and then making us eat it all. Such a hard life,” Lars laughs, shaking my hand.

“That’s settled then, see you on the twenty-fourth, lovely meeting you, Isak.” Sara has me in another hug, and then they leave.

“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” 

“It was fine; they seem really nice.”

“And you’re sure about coming with me for the meal?” Even backs me up against the counter and kisses me before I have a chance to speak. His lips leave mine and trail over my neck. I pull his ass towards me, adjusting my feet to allow him to stand between my thighs.

“What are your plans?” Even asks.

“I need to go home at some point, maybe come back tomorrow afternoon and stay over again, if that’s OK?”

“Of course it’s OK; I love having you here.” 

I lean in to kiss him again, sucking at his bottom lip, listening to his soft moans. It doesn’t take long for things to become heated as we make our way to the bedroom; our clothes lie discarded on the way.

***

EVEN

Saturday

Being woken up by Isak and Daphne was the perfect way to start the weekend. What made it better was Isak asking to meet Mum and Dad, before the meal he was invited to.

We drank our coffee and waited for Mum to get back to me. I felt it only right that I told Isak I had mentioned some basic stuff to Mum and Dad, about him, for no other reason than to stop any awkward questions that I knew would make Isak uncomfortable.

Mum replied, and we spent some time eating breakfast and showering. 

I needed to buy a couple more presents for Mum and Dad, so I suggested going to town together and having lunch. 

As I waited for him to answer, I could tell that maybe it was a bit too soon for him, so I reassured Isak that we would just go out as friends, no PDA’s, etc. That seemed to sway him, as he leaned in and apologised. 

Walking through the Christmas market, I wanted nothing more than to hold Isak’s hand, but I kept myself busy, asking if he needed to buy any presents. At one point, I had to bump him out of his daydreams, and we decided to grab a coffee.

I queued for our drinks as Isak found a place to sit. As I looked over to him, he was watching me, his smile when our eyes met was stunning. 

The sofa was small, but we managed to sit and chat without being physical, although it was so hard not to reach over and touch him. Isak was relaxed until a shrill voice called his name across the coffee shop. He looked at me with panic in his eyes until three ladies were standing in front of us.

The blonde one introduced herself and we shook hands, followed by the other two; one of whom was definitely “eye-fucking” Isak. I tried to make conversation, but it was awkward. 

So when Isak moved against my side and placed his hand on my thigh, I casually placed my arm on the back of the sofa and let my fingers rest on his shoulder.

Isak leaned in, and when Vilde asked if we were a couple, my heart stopped. I was afraid Isak would panic, but he didn’t; instead, he introduced me as his boyfriend, and I fell for him just a little bit more. 

Eva pulled Vilde away after telling us how cute we were together, and Chris seemed unimpressed by Isak’s announcement.

I gave Isak a few minutes to process what just happened and told him how proud I was of him. For Isak to then kiss me, albeit just a quick peck, blew my mind; again.

The thrill of walking out of the coffee shop with Isak’s hand in mine was immense. Seeing Isak relaxed and happy as we walked through Slottsparken felt so good. 

***

Back at the apartment, I calmed Isak’s nerves as we waited for Mum and Dad to arrive. I knew they would be their normal caring, funny selves, and I wasn’t wrong; Mum hugged Isak after Dad’s more formal handshake. Perfect. 

The conversation was chilled as Dad’s sense of humour shone through, settling Isak’s nerves, and I could see that Mum was pleased that Isak accepted her offer to join us for Christmas lunch.

After Mum and Dad left, I checked in with Isak, making sure it wasn’t too much for him;  I couldn’t resist backing him up against the counter and kissing him. 

Asking what his plans were, in case he needed some alone time after an eventful day, we agreed he would go back to his place and then come back tomorrow and stay over again. 

Things got very heated, very quickly, as we kissed and stripped our way to the bedroom.

Isak

It was hard leaving Even, but I needed to come home and organise stuff for his parents' meal. I also want to see if I can get him some sort of present, what, I have no idea, especially this close to Christmas. 

Jonas:

Great night! We need

to do that again! 

Isak:

Definitely!

Happy for you to come

over any time. 

BTW, I saw Vilde, Eva, and

Chris in town earlier. 

Even and I were Christmas

shopping, so I introduced him

as my boyfriend.

Felt really good.

Jonas:

Man, that’s amazing.

Super proud of you, buddy.

Let’s meet up for coffee

in the new year.

Isak:

Thanks, Jonas.

Coffee sounds great.

I smile as I drop my phone back on the sofa – Jonas seems like a good friend, and I’m interested in learning more about him.

After doing some washing and re-packing my overnight bag, I ponder what the hell I am going to get for Even. Thankfully, the market is open tomorrow, and I have seen something that he may like. 

Even calls me during the evening and we spend an hour chatting, like we haven’t just been together for almost twenty-four hours. 

Lying in my bed, without anyone next to me, is cold and depressing; I toss and turn trying to get comfy. I reach for my phone, tempted to message Even, but decide against it, leaving him to have a quiet night. 

***

The market was even busier than yesterday when I got there; I’ve been bumped into a few times already, encouraging my anxiety to surface. Stepping to the side, I take some deep breaths and focus on finding the stall that sells the leather wrist straps. 

Deciding which leather strap to buy for Even is more challenging than I thought it would be. I have narrowed it down to two and finally chose the lighter one as it’s almost the same colour as his watch strap.

Happy with my purchase, I noticed a stall selling handmade tree decorations and bought one for Sara and Lars, as a thank you. It strikes me that this is the first time I have bought Christmas presents for anyone since I lived in the shared apartment, and it makes me laugh at how sad that is.

Snapping out of the dull mood I’ve put myself in, I wander back up through the market and make my way to the tram stop and home.

***

My heart races as I make my way up the stairs to Even’s apartment. The door is open, and Even is waiting for me. His hair is wet like he has just got out of the shower; fuck he is stunning. 

“Halla,” 

“Hi, baby,” Even pulls me into a hug, closing the door behind me. 

“Go and sort your bag out, while I get us a drink and check the oven.” 

“Sounds good,” I smile, looking at him.

“You OK?” He asks.

“Just happy to be back here, with you,” I grin and walk on through to the bedroom.

“So, I said we would get to Mum’s for around twelve-thirty if that’s OK?”

I nod, leaning into him on the sofa.

“I will drive over there, and then we can get a cab back here.”

“Should I have bought some wine?” 

“Absolutely not! There will be plenty there.”

I look up at him and smile. Although nervous about tomorrow, I’m also buzzing that I am spending time with my boyfriend's parents; something I never would have dreamed would happen.

We enjoy a pizza and salad, and then we watch Home Alone, one of my favourite Christmas movies. Even’s fingers play with my hair as I lie against him, it’s so relaxing I can feel myself drifting off.

“You’re not too anxious about tomorrow, are you, baby?” 

“A little, I guess. But they seem very chilled; your Dad has a great sense of humour.”

“They are as much in love now as when they met, and I love watching them. I get my tactile tendencies from Mum, she is a hugger as you found out yesterday.”

“I love being hugged,” I say before thinking about it.

“Yeah? I love that too and being kissed.”

“I love it when we hold each other, it makes me feel safe.” Where is all this coming from?

“I feel I can be myself with you, Isak, and that’s important to me.”

“I think you are the most important person in my life, Ev.” And I mean every word of that. 

As the night winds down, we make our way to bed, organising Daphne and turning off the lights. This domestic routine feels very natural as we go about cleaning our teeth and undressing for bed. 

“Hi,” Even whispers as we cuddle up in bed.

“This is nice, better than last night,” I sigh, happily. 

“Yeah, last night sucked balls; I couldn’t get to sleep,” Even surmises.

I snort at his expression, making him giggle. 

“Kiss me.” Even growls, pulling me on top of him; his legs making room for me to lie between them.

Our kiss is soft and slow, which I love; our fingers tracing over soft skin. Even carefully rolls us over, barely leaving my lips until they leave a trail over my neck, causing goosebumps.

“Fuck, Even,” I moan as his tongue finds my nipple. Swirling and flicking over and over.

Licking and kissing his way down my body, his fingers helping themselves to whatever they want.

Without warning, Even takes me in his mouth, his hand gently easing my legs apart. I have no words, just strangled sounds as Even’s fingers trace over my hole. 

“Please,” I almost beg, making him moan and reach for the lube. 

The anticipation is torture as Even pauses, his eyes watching me as he gently pushes through my rim.

“Fuck, Isak,” he groans, as bit by bit I allow his finger to penetrate me until his long middle finger fills me. The sensation is mindblowing, feeling his finger glide in and out. As he pulls out, he adds more lube and with soft, careful movements, he eases a second finger in.

“Oh, fuck,” I shout as two fingers slide in and out, making me tremble. 

At that moment, I see stars as he ignites me from within. My balls tighten, and I can’t control my hips bucking up off the bed as I come all over myself.

Aftershocks rack through me as Even slowly eases his fingers out, his own breath ragged.

I pull Even over me, grabbing his dick; pre-come oozing out as I work my fingers over his slit. 

“Isak,” he huffs as he explodes all over me, adding to the stripes of white that cover my body.

“I love the slight ache in my ass,” I say as we recover.

Even’s eyes are wide, like he can’t believe I have just said that out loud.

“I loved it too; I definitely need you inside me again,” he says with such honesty that it makes me smile.

“Me too, Ev; that felt amazing.”

We clean up and get comfy, Even holding me close from behind, our favourite way to fall asleep. 

Even

The apartment was quiet without Isak; even Daphne had gone on a little search for him. I make the most of the few hours left of today and wash all the bedding and towels.

I can’t help but call him and chat about everything and nothing, checking in with him about tomorrow. Mum has already messaged me saying how lovely Isak seems; I knew they would like him.

Sleeping without the warmth of Isak sucked, but waking up without him there was worse. I moped around all morning, organising stuff to take with me to Mum's place tomorrow. The presents were wrapped and ready to go; I can’t believe we are both going to spend Christmas with them; I just hope Isak isn’t too overwhelmed by it all.

Hearing the buzzer made my heart beat faster. I opened the door and waited for him to climb the stairs. He looked happy to be back here as I hugged him close. 

Isak organised his bag in the bedroom while I fussed in the kitchen.

Back in the lounge, with my baby cuddled against me after our meal, we watched a classic Christmas movie and then confessed about things we love together. Hearing Isak say I was the most important person in his life and using a cute nickname blew me away. 

The nighttime routine felt like we had been doing it for years, and when we lay together, it was perfect.

I pulled Isak on top of me as we kissed; I needed him as close as possible. The feel of his skin next to mine is like nothing I have ever felt before, and I can’t get enough of him. 

I needed him to feel like I felt on Friday night, so I kissed my way down his body, momentarily taking him in my mouth, and easing his legs apart. Isak’s pleading urged me on, and I grabbed the lube and coated my fingers. I held his gaze, wanting to see his face when I breached him.

Being surrounded by his warmth was mesmerising, and hearing his enjoyment was fulfilling. 

When I entered him with two fingers, I knew the moment I had hit Isak’s prostate; he bucked off the bed and came so hard it took me by surprise. 

Once Isak’s breathing had settled, I carefully removed my fingers, causing him to shudder.

Isak pulled me over him and caressed me, teasing my head and slit until I exploded all over him.

Isak then astounded me by saying he loved the slight ache in his ass; I admitted it too and told him I needed him inside me again soon. Falling asleep next to Isak is the best feeling.

Chapter Text

Isak

The journey to Even’s parents is relaxed; we sing along to the radio, which I know is him trying to calm my nerves. 

The amazing smell of food cooking hits us as Sara greets us at the door. 

“Welcome, Merry Christmas, both of you,” she grins and hugs us both.

Lars came to greet us before we dumped our bags and removed our coats.

“Shall I put the gifts under the tree, Mum?” Even asks, holding up a bag. 

“Yes, we can open them later, after we have a drink.”

I grab my bag too and watch as Even smiles as I hand it to him. 

“Come on through, Isak, make yourself at home, or Sara will have you helping in the kitchen,” Lars grins, so I follow him into the lounge where Even is placing the presents under the huge tree.

“Would you like wine or beer, or juice?” Sara asks from the doorway. 

“Juice is fine, thanks.” I smile as I sit on the sofa and relax.

Even comes and flops down next to me, stretching his long legs out and sighing contentedly.

“The food smells good, Mum, do you need any help?”

“No, it’s all under control, although I should have checked if there was anything you didn’t like, Isak?”

“Not that I can think of, thanks.”

“Right, who’s being Father Christmas this year?” Lars asks, rubbing his hands together.

“I think it’s your turn, actually, Dad,” Even grins.

Sara laughs, raising her glass.

“Right, let’s dish them out then.”

There aren’t that many under the tree, but I guess as you get older, you have most things you will ever need. I think back to the last Christmas I spent at home; midnight mass the night before, then back to church in the morning. A meal with Mamma and Pappa, and then one or two presents during the afternoon. I had received a tie for when I played the piano at school and a new pair of gloves. 

“Isak,” Even nudged me.

“Sorry, I was miles away,” I chuckle, trying to wipe the memory away.

“This is just a little something from Lars and me,” Sara smiles as a gift is handed to me.

“Even, this is for you, to open at the same time.”

We both tear into the paper and pull out matching aprons with “Isak’s sous chef” on Even’s and “Even’s sous chef” on mine.

“Brilliant, Mum, thank you,” Even grins.

“Yes, thank you,” I hold it up and smile.

“This one’s for both of us, from Isak,” Lars hands it over to Sara, who carefully opens the paper and holds the glass decoration up.

“Isak, that’s beautiful, thank you,” She says and finds a home for it on the tree.

“Yes, thanks, Isak,” Lars beams.

A few more presents were shared between them as I watched and felt completely at ease with them all laughing and hugging.

“Even, for you,” Lars hands over the gift I have bought for him; my nerves tingle as I watch him open it.

“Isak, this is perfect, it matches my watch strap.” He places the leather around his wrist and snaps it in place.

“I tried to match the colour, I hope you like it?” 

Even held his wrists together, and the colours were almost the same.

“You did a good job, baby,” he smiles and leans in to kiss me.

I surprised myself by not getting too caught up in whether it was acceptable to kiss in front of his parents, but it was only a peck. 

“And the last one is for Isak,” 

Even watched as I unwrapped a new bottle of my favourite cologne.

“How did you know I was running low on this?” I laugh.

“ I may have peeked in your bathroom cabinet,” he grins.

“Thank you, just what I needed,” and this time I kissed him. Fuck it.

Sara and Lars leave us on the sofa while they go and check on the food.

“Mum will cherish your gift, I know she will.”

“It’s just a little thank you for having me. Manners maketh the man was drummed into me as a child, along with many other quotes.”

“What were you thinking about earlier?” Even asks, taking my hand in his.

“I was thinking about my last Christmas at home; I was 16 and I was given a tie and a pair of gloves. I accepted them as I didn’t expect anything more or anything like what my friends were given.”

“I think I know the answer, but have you spent your Christmases alone since leaving that apartment?”

“I have, since I left the flat share, but it was OK. I could do whatever I chose and wasn’t forced to go to church multiple times, followed by my parents arguing over something trivial.”

“I can’t remember the last time my parents argued; they seem to be perpetually loved up,” Even laughs, pulling me into his side.

“Thanks for inviting me; it’s nice being included in this family day.”

As we sit around the dining table, filled with dishes of vegetables and sauces, meats and gravy, I’m struck that it’s not a typical Norwegian meal. My eyes must betray me because Sara giggles.

“Isak, this is a typical English Christmas dinner. I have ancestors from there and have enjoyed a lot of their customs,” she smiled and invited me to help myself.

The food was delicious, and the wine helped settle a few nerves. 

“Don’t feel you have to eat everything, Isak; Sara is a well-known feeder,” Lars chuckles, admitting defeat and leaning back, rubbing his belly.

“I’m stuffed,” I say, holding my hands up.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Isak,” Sara beams.

“You two go and make yourselves comfy while Sara and I clear up,” Lars says, taking two serving bowls with him.

“Let us help you clear the table at least,” I say, grabbing plates and following Lars.

While we wait for Lars to come back into the lounge, Sara looks at her watch.

“I say it’s going to be 15:08.”

“Really? No, I say 14:55,” Even grins.

I look between them, and they both giggle.

“We are betting on what time Dad falls asleep this year.”

“Isak, what time do you think it will be?” Sara asks, waiting for an answer.

“I’m hedging my bets and will go with 15:02,” I grin and stifle a giggle as Lars comes back in and sits in his armchair.

Even turns the TV on and we all stare at the screen, not really paying any attention to it, as we chat and drink our wine.

“Beginners' luck,” Even nudges me and nods towards Lars, who is fast asleep at 15:01.

I grin and punch the air, making Sara snort. 

The sound of a door closing, followed by a “Hi,” makes Even tense up.

“Ah, looks like Sonja decided to join us after all,” Sara says and turns to look at the door.

“Sonja?” Even asks, his voice a little terse.

“Yes, she wasn’t sure what she was doing today when I asked her a few weeks ago. I can’t see her on her own Even, you know that,” Sara replies.

Even laces our fingers together and throws me an apologetic look. 

“Wow, everyone looks cosy in here,” Sonja says as she hugs Sara.

Lars smiles at her when she nudges him.

“Who won this year?” she asks, grinning between Even and Sara as she flops down on the sofa next to Even, a little too close for my liking.

“Isak won,” Even says, smiling at me and kissing my head. And even though it’s something he would have done anyway, I knew that kiss was for Sonja’s benefit.

“Welcome to the family tradition, Isak,” Sonja smiles across at Sara.

“More wine, anyone?” Even gets up and heads for the kitchen. 

“I’ll go help him,” Sonja jumps up and almost runs after Even.

I’m left with an uneasy feeling; Even is on edge with Sonja turning up like nothing has happened. 

Within minutes, raised voices can be heard, and Sara and Lars both look at each other before they follow where the voices are coming from.

I follow, too, as I have a feeling things are going to get heated.

“What’s going on?” Lars asks as we all enter the kitchen.

“Mum, Dad, I have something I would like to say.” Even’s voice is quiet, as he looks at me. All eyes seem to turn and stare at me, so I do the only thing I know he needs: I look back at him and nod, making my way to his side, and wind my arm around his waist.

“Even, don’t do this,” Sonja snaps, her face like thunder.

“Do what?” Sara says, looking at Sonja.

Even stands tall and looks at me once more for encouragement.

“When I had my first episode, all those years ago. I spent weeks in my room, if you remember. I slept, barely ate, and you two were so amazing with me, despite not knowing what lay ahead.” Even pauses as Sara and Lars nod.

“Sonja would visit me, no doubt with your blessing to help me through my depression; a friendly, familiar face, if you like.”

I look at Sonja and I see the moment she realises that Even is going to expose her evil nature.

“This is hard for me, so please bear with me,” he says, looking at Sara, whose face is knitted with worry.

I turn his face towards me and hold his gaze.

“It’s nearly over, Ev, I’m here and I believe everything you’ve told me, and your parents will too.”

His beautiful blue eyes look so lost and tired, and I hate that Sonja has caused this amount of pain. I turn and look at her, but she can’t look at me.

“One evening, I woke up to Sonja touching me; my boxers had been pushed down a little. I was shocked and pushed her off the bed. I think she thought I was so tired or spaced out from my new medications that she would get away with it. She laughed and said that it was alright for me to touch her, but not the other way around, which confused me as I have never touched Sonja before or even wanted to.”

Sonja makes a noise like she is still offended that Even never wanted her as anything other than a family friend.

“She claims that I pinned her to the bed when I first came home from the hospital, when she visited me, I know I was out of it, but I swear I would never do anything like that, ever. Sonja said I could never prove what she had done and left.”

Sara looks at Sonja, but she doesn’t move. I pull Even closer and nod again for him to continue.

“Over the years, I have buried it, but when Sonja tried her usual trick of pretending that we are more than family acquaintances when I met Isak at our Christmas party, it occurred to me that she has ruined any relationship I’ve ever had. 

When I was with Mikael this week, at another party, Sonja was there, drunk and kissing my cheek, which I stopped. I have photos and a video of the whole thing, including her belittling Isak, saying he would run a mile if he knew I was bipolar. 

I corrected her and asked her to lose my number, blocking her on my phone at the same time. Sonja is under the impression that you would not allow me to block her,” Even slumps against me, as tears silently fall.

“Do you have your phone with you?” Lars asks Even.

Even nods, tapping on the screen, finds the photo of the kiss and tells Lars to press play on the video.

Sonja makes a move for the door but is blocked by Lars, who watches the screen in front of her. When Sonja’s last screeching words die out, he turns to her.

“I think you should leave, Sonja.” His voice is stern.

“Leave your key on the hook; no, in fact, I’ll have it.” Sara holds out her hand.

Sonja silently leaves, returning with the key and placing it in Sara’s outstretched hand. Without a second thought, Sara hands the key to me, smiling before hugging Even, turning her back on Sonja. 

I leave Even and Sara, following Lars into the hall. Sonja is putting her boots and coat on. 

“I had doubts about you a long time ago, but never acted on them. We took you in when your parents separated, and this is how you repay us? Isak, I am so very sorry that you have been caught up in all of this.” Lars opens the door for Sonja, who leaves without looking back.

Lars rubs his face and sighs.

“We need a drink.”

Even and Sara are talking things over when we enter the kitchen; he looks drained, and Sara looks as if she has been crying. Lars wraps his arms around her from behind and pulls Even into the hug, too.

I try and back out of the kitchen to give them some space.

“Isak, don’t go.” Even holds out his hand, and I go straight to him.

“Why don’t you two go upstairs for a bit?” Sara suggests as Even pulls himself away from her and folds into my side.

“Would you mind? I’m sorry to ruin everyone's day.”

“I have a feeling we need to thank Isak for you being able to tell us about Sonja’s behaviour; am I right?” Lars smiles.

“You are, Dad. He made me realise that although I have tried to bury it over the years, it was never going to stop until you both knew.”

“Thank you, Isak.” Sara and Lars both say, still holding each other close.

Even leads me to his old bedroom where he lies on the bed and pulls me to him. We just hold each other, letting the day’s events sink in. 

“I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that must have been for you, Even. I’m just pleased that it’s all out in the open now, and you can hopefully start to live your life without it hanging over you.” 

“I think it will take a few days for it to sink in, for all of us. I hate not speaking up before now, letting my parents, especially Mum, get so close to Sonja; she treated her like a daughter.”

“Do you think Sonja will tell her parents, or will your Mum contact them about it?”

“I’m not sure, but it has to be said, it was a badass move to give you the key in front of Sonja.” Even chuckles.

“I don’t want that key. I will get a new one cut and then get rid of the tainted one.” I say as a joke, but Even agrees that her key should not be used anymore. 

***

We wander back downstairs and find Lars asleep in his chair and Sara in the kitchen putting the last of the crockery away.

“Hi,” she smiles and hugs Even again, concern still written across her face.

“I’m sorry I never told you sooner. I just didn’t know how, and then it was never the right time, until now. I couldn’t bear the thought of her coming between Isak and me.”

“It’s OK; you’ve told us now, and you can move forward. Your Dad and I have been talking, and he said he had his doubts about Sonja as she got older. I never saw it, but I wish I had. I’m sorry I didn’t realise how awful she has been treating you.” 

Even hugs her again and then comes to stand next to me. 

After an afternoon of telly and a cold buffet for tea, Even and I start to gather our stuff to go back to his place.

“Thank you for coming and for our gift, Isak; it’s been lovely getting to know you a little more.” Sara hugs me again, whispering “thank you” in my ear.

I nod and turn to Lars, shaking his hand. 

“Come back soon and help me eat all the leftover food,” he smiles, hugging Even.

“We will come back, I promise.” Even smiles as we head outside to our cab.

It’s a quiet journey home, but that’s to be expected; Even must be feeling so many emotions right now.

It doesn’t take long to unpack the bag of gifts and two large tubs of food that Sara passed on to us.

“What do you need, Ev?” I ask him as we stand in the kitchen.

“I think I need a shower and then chill with some music, holding you as close as possible on the sofa.”

“Then that’s what we will do, yeah. Come on, in the shower, and I will get some sweats for you.” I pull him through to the bathroom and start the shower, leaving him to undress. After sorting out his clean clothes, I’m about to go back to the lounge when he calls me.

I peek my head around the door, seeing if he’s OK.

“Come and join me, baby.”

I smile and undress in the doorway, then cuddle up to him, holding him tight. Another first for us, showering together.

“It’s over; I’ve finally got rid of her, Isak; I can’t thank you enough for the push you gave me.”

“I wasn’t going to let her control your life anymore, or come between us, I couldn’t cope with that.”

“I believe we were meant to find each other,” Even’s whisper is choked with emotion.

“We were and we have, and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“I’m not pushing you into things you’re not ready for, am I?” Even asks as he lathers my hair with his citrus shampoo.

“No, not at all. I love being able to touch you and kiss you whenever I feel like it, and not having to hide myself anymore. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I would have believed I could have gone from who I was to who I am now without your encouragement and patience.” 

“You’ve amazed me, Isak. But please tell me if I am moving too fast, yeah?”

“You, too. I can’t believe I’ve been so forward with you, but I wouldn’t change anything. I love being naked with you, taking risks with you, Even.” 

“Well, isn’t that a coincidence? I love being naked with you, too.” 

I can’t help but reach around him, smoothing my hands over his ass as he kisses into my neck.

“Let’s finish up here and get more comfortable, yeah?” Even whispers in my ear and sets a series of fireworks off inside my chest. 

As we move through to the bedroom, dressed only in our towels, I kiss my way over his nipple, making him shudder. I can feel his hardness against mine as we stand close. I pull my towel free and throw it on the floor, followed by Even’s. 

I push him onto the bed and wait for him to get comfy, then I crawl up between his legs, kissing my way up his thigh, across his balls, and then over his hip, nipping his skin with my teeth. 

These intimate moments make me feel so close to Even, and any embarrassment or awkwardness is long forgotten. I love making him sigh and flinch when I move over his body, it’s as much of a turn-on for me as it is for him. 

I feel my mouth flood as a droplet of pre-cum beads at his tip. I swipe my tongue over it, savouring the salty flavour, then take him in, inch by inch.

All I can think of is how much I want Even inside me, making love to me.

I kiss my way back up his chest until I meet his soft lips. Stretching over, I reach into the drawer and pull out the lube, then pause before taking a condom out and placing it next to the lube on the bed. Even doesn’t notice at first, but as he rolls over to kiss me, his eyes open wide and he stills. 

“Are you sure?” 

“I am if you’re OK with it, but don’t feel we have to.”

His lips are soft as they kiss their way over my collarbone, continuing down until his tongue flicks over my nipple.

It’s like igniting touch paper, my body jolts and comes alive. I can feel his fingers lightly tracing up the inside of my thigh, edging nearer and nearer to where I want him.

When Even reaches for the lube, I hold my breath in anticipation as he lies next to me, lifting my leg over his and watching as his finger penetrates me.

One by one, his fingers open me, stretch me until I need him inside me.

“Please, Ev, I’m ready,” I moan, my arms above my head, in submission.

I hear the foil packet open and look at Even as he rolls the condom on, followed by some lube. I smile as his eyes meet mine, and they are asking if I’m OK. I nod and pull him in for a kiss.

“We can stop at any time, just tell me, yeah,” Even whispers.

“I will, and if you need to stop too, let me know.”

I open my legs as Even lines himself up, it’s a little awkward being our first time, and when Even enters me, it’s a feeling I will never forget. There’s a pressure and then an overwhelming sense of fulfilment. Slowly, Even pushes deeper, pausing for me to adjust and breathe through it until I am completely filled by him.

“Are you OK? I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“I’m fine, I promise.” 

We slowly find a rhythm and lose ourselves in our heads, then come back and kiss and smile. 

“Put a pillow under your hips, baby,” Even suggests, pulling out carefully and reaching for the pillow.

I arrange it under my backside and lie back, taking in the sight of Even as he eases himself back inside me. The slight tilt in my hips changes everything, and I know I’m not going to last much longer. With every stroke, he glances over the soft bundle of nerves that seem to throb and pulse deep inside.

My entire body is lit from within.

“Ev, I can’t hold on,” I moan, writhing around under him.

“Baby, let go.”

I can feel myself gripping Even with every involuntary movement my body makes as I fall over the edge.

Even comes a moment later, and the sensation sends another wave of tremors throughout my body.

I pull him to me, needing to kiss him and hold him close. He wraps me in his arms, and I am overcome with emotion as I press my face into his neck.

Neither of us wants to move from the cosy bubble we have created, but we need to clean up. Even reaches for a towel and carefully wipes me over before sorting himself out and then wrapping himself around me.

We don’t need to say anything, as we look at each other and kiss softly. I’m not sure I could without becoming emotional.

Even

Isak didn’t appear to be too nervous on the drive over to Mum and Dad's, and as we took off our coats and organised presents under the tree, I watched him relax.  Mum and Dad were their normal cheery selves and made Isak feel at home. Once we had our drinks, we sat in the lounge where Dad handed out presents. Isak had bought a Christmas tree ornament for them, and Mum hung it on the tree, pride of place. I know that she will treasure it; she’s very sentimental.

My leather wrist strap was a perfect match with my watch strap, and I loved the thought behind the gift. Isak must have noticed my watch strap at some point. 

Isak loved his cologne, so I had to admit that I looked in his bathroom cabinet to see if he needed a new bottle. I love the way the scent lingers on his skin.

Hearing how Isak spent his last Christmas with his parents was quite sobering, but to then find out he has spent the rest alone, apart from when he house shared, made me think how lucky I am.

Mum made the most amazing traditional English Christmas dinner, explaining that she had ancestors there. We all ate too much and then went back to the lounge with our wine. Of course, we had to play the yearly game of guessing what time Dad would fall asleep, and Isak won, much to his amusement.

I loved having Isak sit next to me on the sofa, watching him laugh with Dad and his appalling jokes, just being relaxed and enjoying a family Christmas.

Hearing the front door close, I was immediately on edge. I hadn’t given any thought to Sonja being there and I was pissed off with myslef for that overshight. I couldn’t believe she had turned up; she must have known I would not be very happy.

I know Isak felt me tense up, because he gripped my hand tighter.

She walked in and hugged Mum, then nudged Dad, before throwing herself on the sofa beside me, like there was no issue whatsoever. I could feel my blood boiling. 

My first reaction was to offer more wine so that I could leave the room, but I should have known that was a bad idea because as soon as I reached the kitchen, Sonja was right behind me.

I asked what she was doing there, and she had the nerve to say it was a family day. I warned her about her behaviour at the party, and she got defensive. Our voices grew louder, and then Mum, Dad and Isak were all there, wondering what was going on.

I looked at Isak, and he nodded, coming to my side, holding me. Of course, Sonja snapped and told me not to continue, but I had to; my relationship with Isak was far more important to me than her, so I told Mum and Dad everything, every detail about how Sonja had ruined all my relationships and that she thought she could get away with touching me.

Isak stood by me throughout, holding me and encouraging me. Dad watched the video, and she even tried to leave, but Dad stopped her. It was finally over.

Dad asked Sonja to leave, and Mum asked for her key back and promptly handed it to Isak.

I hugged Mum; she was apologising for not realising something was wrong all these years, and then Dad came back in and hugged us both.

I noticed Isak backing out of the room, but I asked him to stay; I needed to hold him, too.

Mum suggested that Isak and I go upstairs for a bit to calm down and talk. I am so grateful that Isak gave me the push I needed to confront Sonja. 

We went back downstairs and chatted with Mum while Dad snoozed in his chair. We somehow managed to enjoy the rest of the day, then after a cold buffet, Isak and I came home and spent some time unwinding.

Sharing a shower with Isak was what I needed; we washed each other and massaged our scalps, finally able to relax and forget about today.

Isak admitted that he loves being naked with me and taking risks, which was so good to hear, as we held one another.

We took our cuddles and kisses to the bedroom, where Isak was very much in charge. He pushed me onto the bed and then kissed his way up my body, ending with him taking me in his mouth and blowing my mind. When Isak kissed his way back up, he grabbed the lube from his drawer, but it was only when I rolled him over that I noticed the condom next to the lube. I froze, unsure if it meant what I thought it did.

I asked Isak if he was sure, and he said yes, if it’s what I wanted too. I’m not sure if he will ever realise how incredible he is.

I softly caressed and opened Isak, making sure he was comfortable and relaxed. I watched as he lay back with his arms above his head, pleading with me.

Rolling the condom on and adding more lube, I reassured Isak that we could stop at any time.

The feeling of warmth and pressure all around was dizzying as I carefully eased my way in through Isak's tight rim. We paused and breathed through until I was enveloped by Isak entirely. 

We found a perfect rhythm and got lost in our thoughts, I could feel myself become emotional as I looked down at Isak.

I suggested putting a pillow under his hips, and that changed everything. I felt a deeper connection with him as he came undone beneath me, and then I followed, holding him tight.

Isak pulled me into a kiss, and we held each other, both filled with raw emotion and love, so much love.

With the need to clean up, I made sure Isak was wiped over first, then I cleaned myself before I wrapped myself around Isak and thought about how far we have both come in such a short amount of time and that I wouldn’t change a thing.

Isak

Waking next to Even, his face mere inches away from mine, still amazes me. His complexion is soft, and any worry from yesterday has faded away. Thoughts of last night stir inside me, and a realisation that we have entered another phase of our relationship. 

I’ve gone from being a single, reclusive man to lying in a bed with someone who has completely stolen my heart. 

Never in my wildest fantasies would I have believed that I would end up here, with Even. 

“Are you staring at me?” Even voice is deep and husky.

“I might be, but then you are hot, Even.”

A chuckle escapes as Even opens his eyes and smiles back at me. 

“You OK, this morning?” Even asks, his eyes searching mine.

“I’m good, you?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you for yesterday; you gave me the push I needed.”

“Anytime.”

“Plans for the next few days?” Even teases his fingers through my hair, tucking it behind my ear. It’s little things like that that make me smile.

“I think we should just stay in, eat your Mum’s delicious leftovers and listen to music. What do you reckon?”

“I think your plan sounds epic, Isak.”

***

Thursday

The last few days at Even’s have been amazing, but now that I am back in my apartment, it’s far too quiet. Even is off with his parents visiting relatives, so I have come home to do some washing and clean my place; I’ve been too busy with Even to get anything done here, not that I’m complaining.

Jonas:

Hi, Isak.

Are you up for a coffee?

Isak:

Yeah, sure.

You can come round

to mine if you like.

I’m here all day.

Jonas:

I can be there in an hour.

That OK?

Isak:

See you then, buddy.

I sent him my address and carried on cleaning, happy that Jonas had reached out to me for a coffee. 

“Halla,” Jonas grins as he kicks off his trainers and then side hugs me.

“Coffee?”

“Please, it’s freezing out there.” he shivers and rubs his hands together as he follows me into the kitchen.

“How did it go with Even’s parents?”

“It was fine, they both seem really nice.” I don’t mention Sonja’s interruptions; that’s not my story to tell.

“How was your day?” I pass him his coffee, and we head back to the lounge, slouching on the sofa.

“Not too bad.” Jonas half smiles. 

I get the feeling that he has a lot on his mind, but I will leave him to open up if he needs to.

“FIFA?” I ask, grinning at him.

“Did you not learn your lesson last time we played?”

“I’m feeling lucky,” I laugh and set the game up.

“Fy faen,” I shout as Jonas claims victory.

“Sorry about that,” Jonas grins, not looking remotely sorry.

“More coffee?”

“No, I should go. Mum’s expecting me.” He stretches and heads for the hall, toeing his trainers back on.

“Thanks for the coffee, Isak.”

“Anytime.” I smile, giving him a quick hug.

“Jonas, you know you can talk to me about anything. I don’t want to pry, but you seem like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I’m here if you need me, yeah.”

“Thanks, Isak. I may take you up on that, but not today, if that’s OK.”

“Whenever you are ready,” I say as he leaves.

Around an hour later, the door buzzer pulls me away from having a fight, putting a clean quilt cover on.

Pressing the intercom, as I am not expecting anyone, I’m surprised when Jonas asks if he can come in for another coffee. I buzz him up and leave the door open for him while I start making some coffee.

“Hi,” Jonas says from the kitchen door.

When I turn to look at him, he looks tired, I can’t believe it’s the same person who was here an hour ago.

“You, OK?” I ask, even though it’s blatantly obvious he isn’t.

“I’ve been better.”

“Come on, let’s go and sit in the lounge.”

“I’m sorry to just turn up again, but when I left, my head became full of everything that I’ve kept inside for years. I wanted to talk to you earlier, but I didn’t know where to start, and I feel guilty about burdening you with it. But when I think of all that you have been through, I feel like you might understand it in some way.”

“You have been a good friend over the years, and now that we have got to know each other a lot better, you have become someone I can depend on and trust. So whatever it is that’s troubling you, I am happy to listen and help if you need it.”

Jonas nods and settles back on the sofa, hugging his coffee mug.

“You already know that I grew up with Mags, and then later Mahdi joined the school. Well, I had another friend who went to another school; our parents were friends, so we knew each other really well. He was funny and we did some crazy shit togther and spent most weekends doing something.”

I listen to Jonas and watch as he smiles, talking about his friend. 

“When we were seventeen, we went out to a pre-party, some huge place with loud music and beer, it was amazing. We left around midnight, both of us were drunk, so we walked home, trying to sober up a bit. 

When we got to his street, we hugged it out, and I carried on to my house, still quite drunk.”

Jonas takes a sip of coffee and seems to steady himself. 

“I can remember my Mum standing next to my bed, and at first I thought I had left a mess when I got home the night before, but then I could see she was crying and I knew something was very wrong.

She hugged me and told me he had died, a freak accident. I couldn’t understand what she was saying, it didn’t seem possible, but it was; he had tripped up and hit his head on the ground, knocking himself unconscious. Somebody found him a while later, but by the time he got to the hospital, it didn’t look good. He died the next day.”

I place my cup on the coffee table and hold out my hand to him. He clasps it in his hand, and we automatically pull in for a side hug, perched on the edge of the sofa.

“I am so sorry, Jonas, that must have been awful. What was your friend’s name?”

“Jan.”

We sit back on the sofa, Jonas wiping his eyes with his palms.

“Do Magnus and Mahdi know about this?”

“They knew at the time, but I guess because it was a different friend circle, it affected them less, maybe?”

“So, have you ever spoken to anyone about it over the years? Other than family?”

“No, I chatted to the school nurse once, but that didn’t really help. Then, after you confided in me about your situation and how you left home at seventeen, I don’t know, you just seemed to be the right person to tell.” 

“I’m glad you did, I knew something was bothering you. Was it around this time of year?”

“The twenty-seventh. I haven’t been this bad for years. I have always blamed myself, I was the one who dragged him along to the party.”

“I can understand that, but deep down, you know it’s not your fault, don’t you?” 

“I do, it’s just hard. I think I need to talk to a professional, I can’t go on like this every year, it’s no way to live.”

“I think you may be right; you’ll never forget him, but you need to move on. I’ll be here to support you.”

“Thanks, Isak, and thanks for today. I do feel better for telling you.”

“Anytime. Call, message or drop in for a coffee, yeah.”

“I will. I'd better get off, I still haven’t made it to Mum's yet.”

It takes me a while to come to terms with all that Jonas has told me. I know what it feels like to hold something inside and let it eat away at you, so I’m pleased he feels he can confide in me.

***

Even 🩵:

Just got back.

Can I come over tomorrow?

xx 

Isak:

Would you like to pack

a bag and stay for

a few days? xx

Even 🩵:

That would be amazing, Isak.

I’ll let you know when 

I am on my way xx

Isak:

Can’t wait xx

I’m hoping I can persuade Even to stay over for longer than a few days so we can see the new year in together. 

Even

Spending so many days with Isak was the best. Waking up next to him, eating and laughing, was so relaxed;  it’s as if we have known each other for years. 

Having already made plans to visit family, it was hard to see Isak leave, but we both had stuff to organise. My day with the family was good; I told them all about Isak, which made me miss him even more. I couldn’t resist messaging him as soon as I got home, and we arranged for me to pack a bag for a few days, at Isak’s request. 

Isak

New Years Eve

When Even arrived with his bag three days ago, I laughed because he had enough clothes for a week. After getting him unpacked, it was a joint decision to stay in and celebrate the new year together. We have braved going out for fresh air; the snow isn’t too bad this year, making it possible. 

Walking hand in hand with Even is still new, but one that I love. I also love holding him close, kissing him softly and spending as much time together as we can.

“I bought your favourite wine for tonight.” Even holds up two bottles, then places them on the counter.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Ev?”

“Certainly not! I need you to have all your faculties about you tonight.” He grins.

“Is that so?” 

Nodding, he drags me to him and hugs me, kissing my temple.

After an amazing meal that Even cooked, we chill on the sofa, listening to music. 

“Mum packed up all of Sonja’s stuff from their house and asked her to come and pick it up. She hardly said a word to Mum or Dad, just thanked them and left.”

“I’m glad that’s all over for you now, Ev.” 

“Me too, it’s just me and you now.”

“Any New Year's resolutions?” I ask.

“I’m not one to make those usually, if things happen, then there’s a reason for it.

“If the fates allow”

“Exactly, baby.”

As midnight approaches, we top up our glasses and stand by the open window to watch the sky burst into life with fireworks as the new year starts.

Butterflies roam free as the seconds count down, standing arm in arm with the man who has shown me how to be happy and be free.

“Happy New Year, baby,” Even says, kissing me softly.

“Happy New Year, Ev,” My voice choked with emotion.

We toast and take a sip of our wine, smiling at each other, then turn to watch the fireworks, our arms around each other.

Finishing our wine, we tidy up and make our way to bed, and as I lie here waiting for Even, I can’t help but think about what this new year will bring. 

“Is there any reason why you need me to be in control of my faculties this evening?” I tease him when he climbs into bed.

“There is,” he says, pulling me close, his beautiful eyes shining in the dim light.

“I wanted you to remember when I tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“I love you.”

I look at him, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is my forever.

“I love you, too.”

Even

I wasn’t sure how many days I would be spending with Isak, so I packed loads. I’m hoping we can spend New Year's Eve together and not worry about going out. 

Seeing him again brings me so much happiness. I love how he makes me feel around him, like I can do anything.

Going out for walks with him, holding hands without a care and then going back for warm drinks and hugs was the best feeling ever. 

Isak was happy to see the new year in together, in our cosy bubble we have created. I can’t wait to get to know everything about him, to be there for him, and to see where this next year takes us.

As we sat and chilled after our meal, we listened to music and chatted. I have never felt this way about anyone before; so carefree and happy, free to be myself. In love.

Standing arm in arm, waiting for midnight to strike, I’m thankful for meeting this amazing man next to me.

As we wished one another Happy New Year, I make a wish that we spend every new year together, from this day forward. 

Isak teased me about having all his faculties in place this evening when I joined him in bed. I had decided to share how I felt about him whilst I was away with Mum and Dad. I felt lost without him.

The moment I told him that I loved him was filled with emotion. I watched as the recognition of what I had said flared in his eyes, and hearing him tell me he loved me, too, was the perfect end to our evening.