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Chapter Text

The sky lost its pink hues and turned orange slowly as the sun rose on the base, casting long shadows across the training field. Only wearing black fatigues and standing at attention, Price almost yawned as he watched the helicopter lower to the ground. The wheels had barely touched the ground when the door slid open and two men hopped off, soon walking towards him in firm steps. 

“Captain MacMillan.” Price saluted, talking loud to be heard, before eyeing the other man critically. Slightly taller than MacMillan, significantly younger, stubble on his drawn face and shoulder-length hair slicked back, the stranger was smiling smugly, to John’s annoyance.

“At ease, Lieutenant.” MacMillan saluted back. He gestured towards the stranger. “This is Nikolai. Nikolai, this is Lieutenant John Price. He will be in charge of showing you around base and getting you settled first, then he will supervise your training.”

Price nodded once in acknowledgement, his face neutral as he watched Nikolai grin wryly. Oh he hated him already. 

“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant.” He said, his voice carrying a thick russian accent. 

“Likewise, Nikolai.” John muttered, trying not to sound too displeased, not even sure the man even heard him over the sound of the slowing blades of the helicopter.

“I’ll leave you to it, Price.” MacMillan made a small sign at the both of them, already turning to reach the main building of the base. “I expect to see you bright and early for the meeting.”

John smiled and nodded once more, as he watched his captain walk away. Then, he turned back towards Nikolai, holding back a grunt at his seemingly perpetual smirk.

“Anything you need to get from the helo ?” 

“No Lieutenant, everything is in my bag.” He answered, pointing the backpack at his feet. 

“Good.” He looked at the bag briefly, then back at his ever-smiling face. “Let’s go.”

He turned around, trusting Nikolai to follow him, and decided he would not make himself despicable by forcing him to walk around the whole base with his stuff. He led him directly to the barracks and to a small dormitory with four bunks.

“We don’t have any free rooms in the flats, so you’ll have to get used to this.” He declared, tilting his head towards the bunks. “Your dorm has an ensuite and built-in storage.” He finished, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorframe as he heard Nikolai whistle and watched him choose a bunk.

“I see am lucky, dorm is empty, yes ?”

Price scoffed a little. “Yeah, you’re lucky for now. I don’t think the other bunks will stay empty for much longer.” 

Nikolai put his backpack down on the farthest bunk from the door and opened the various wardrobes, cabinets and chest of drawers curiously before checking the bathroom. “This is much bigger than my previous uh… accommodation.”

Despite not being fond of the guy, John felt empathy tug the corner of his lips into a small smile. “Where were you stationed ?”

“Eh…” Nikolai faced him and came back to the door. “Here and there.” He grinned sheepishly with a shrug. 

Price hummed noncommittally and shook his head a little before stepping back and heading for the exit. “Let’s go, we have quite a few places to review.”

The russian man stayed silent while John led him through the base and presented him the various facilities, from the mess hall to the motor pool, by way of the medical clinic, the armoury, the gym, the comm centre and a few more that he was sure Nikolai wouldn’t even remember. By the time they were done, the sun was high on the horizon, a welcome warmth in the early autumn. Price walked him back to the barracks and stopped at the door of the dorm. 

“Take some time to unpack properly, then we’ll go to the uniform department. Meet you in thirty.” He said with a slight nod towards Nikolai’s clothes. He seemed to notice and he looked down at himself, smiling -had he ever stopped, Price wasn’t even sure- and shrugging with a small chuckle. 

“Da, of course.”

John just grumbled before he left, heading back to his own quarters. The barracks were too far from his office to walk there, manage to do some work and then be back in time, so he used this time to relax a little instead. And by relaxing, he obviously meant checking his professional emails on his phone in his couch. The thirty minutes went by quickly and soon Price found himself pinching the bridge of his nose, half-annoyed and half-amused by the scene unfolding between the Russian and the lady managing the uniform requests. Nikolai’s smile proved not to be perpetual, in the end.

“I’m sorry but I need your serial number…” She said, her voice even more desperate than it was before.

“But I don’t have.” Nikolai repeated, frowning, his accent thickening with frustration.

“But…” She looked like she was on the verge of shedding nervous tears. She faced John. “Lieutenant Price…”

John blinked once, then sighed. “Just put it on my serial number.”

“In your size..?”

Price looked at Nikolai and Nikolai looked back at him. For a second, they just gauged each other, trying to decide whether or not they were the same size. Nikolai was a bit taller than him but he seemed to have roughly the same build as John. Somehow, that sparked a kind of rivalry in him and he huffed a little.

“No-”

“Yes-” 

They spoke at the same time. Price threw a baffled glance at Nikolai, only to notice the shit-eating grin was back on his face. A few seconds went by in awkward silence before John cleared his throat and changed his answer.

“...Yes.” He mumbled. “We'll check if it fits him and come back if needed.”

The woman nodded and rapidly typed on her keyboard before standing up and disappearing through the back door. She came back with a handful of items.

“Here.” She started, putting everything on the table. “PT tee-shirt, shorts, sweatpants and sweatshirt, combat trousers, shirt, jacket and gloves.” She sighed a little and looked between them. “There’s two sets of each, I’ll give you two more if it’s the right size. The rest of your standard gear will be issued later on. One last thing: what’s your shoe size ?”

Nikolai nodded with a smile. “This I know, is 43 !”

Price felt the laugh bubble out of his throat before he even knew the sound was coming from him. He was not amused, not at all, he wanted this to end, but between the slight tiredness, Nikolai’s genuinely happy smile and the way the agent’s face dropped, his nerves could only take so much.

“Bloody hell…” He muttered, trying not to choke on the laugh he was stifling. “Got a conversion chart ?” He saw her shake her head, the desperate look back on her features. “Alright.” He pulled out his phone and found a size guide. “That’s a UK 9.5.”

She nodded silently then fetched a pair of combat boots. Price bit the inside of his cheek to stop laughing and thanked her. He turned to Nikolai.

“Grab this, we’ll drop it in your room, then lunch, then we’ll talk training.”

Nikolai nodded, took what he could from the table and followed Price back to the barracks. John put everything he was carrying down on one of the chest of drawers with a little sigh.

“Good.” He turned back to Nikolai, ready to speak again, when he noticed the Russian man was unlacing his boots. He frowned. “Something wrong ?”

“I’ll try now.” 

For a second, the words didn’t quite make sense in Price’s head. He did not just say he would try his uniform now despite John telling him they were headed to the mess hall, did he ? He watched, dumbfounded, as Nikolai toed off his boots, threw his jacket on the bunk, tugged his t-shirt off and undid his belt.

“No.” He managed to say, crossing his arms. 

“Is okay if we’re late to lunch, yes ?” Nikolai grinned and removed his pants. 

John grunted and rubbed his forehead. Now that the man was mostly naked, there was no point in dragging him out. Instead, he leaned back on the piece of furniture and observed him try his uniform on. His clothes were deceptive, it seemed: where he previously looked on the heavier side, Price discovered to his dismay that Nikolai was actually well-built, just as muscular as him, the bulky muscles rippling under a hairy skin. He raised a curious eyebrow when he noticed a few greying patches and slid his eyes back up, to his hair, where he saw a couple of grey strands too. 

“How old are you ?” He asked as Nikolai pulled the trousers up and closer them.

“34.” He flashed yet another smile his way.

“What ?” Price frowned, a little surprised. “You’re older than me.”

“Ah ?” Nikolai tugged the t-shirt down over his head and slid his arms in. “How old is the Lieutenant ?”

“I’m 28.”

Nikolai tucked the t-shirt in his trousers. “Eh ? You’re young, Lieutenant.”

Price hummed softly, not answering.

“The uniform fits well.” Nikolai declared, spreading his arms and looking down at himself. “The trousers are a little loose, though.” He said, tugging at the waistband to show the room he had at the waist. 

“We'll get you a belt.” John nodded, then scratched his beard. “You ready now ?”

“Da, Lieutenant.” Nikolai grinned up at him. 

Price shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips when he noticed how thrilled about everything he looked. Maybe the man wasn't such a nuisance, in the end.

Despite the captain having reduced his workload for the week, Price still found himself unable to meet with Nikolai as often as he would have liked to properly supervise his first few days. Not that he didn’t trust the other lieutenants or sergeants to get Nikolai accustomed to their way of functioning here, but MacMillan had given him the responsibilities and he didn’t want to disappoint him. Usually, he was not the type of man to bother his soldiers on the week-end, but he was pretty confident that Nikolai wouldn’t mind. He stopped at the door of his dorm and knocked, and it didn’t take long for the Russian man to open the door.

“Ah, Lieutenant, how are you ?” He smiled.

“Fine, and you Nikolai ?” Price stepped in, noticing the shelves were fuller. “Got a new roommate ?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “He is out with his family.” 

Price nodded back and handed Nikolai the large dry bag he was carrying. “Gear you’ll need sooner or later. Plate carrier, modular belt, cap, beanie and helmet. Everything else will be issued before interventions.”

Nikolai let out an impressed whistle. “Thank you, Lieutenant.” 

“Wanna grab a snack and a coffee ?” Price tried. “Unless you’re busy.”

Nikolai shook his head. “No, am not busy. Was reading.” He said, gesturing towards his bunk, where a book sat open, face down. “You have a place here for coffee and snacks ?” He asked as he slipped his jacket on and zipped it up.

John snorted. “No, but we have a break room with vending machines.”

Nikolai only answered with a little understanding ah and they left the dorm to head to the closest break room. It was empty, which was not surprising for a Saturday afternoon given everyone who could leave base usually did. He fished out his keys from one of his pockets and handed the blue RFID key tag to Nikolai.

“Be my guest.”

Price talked again once they were seated in the comfortable couches, with a cup of coffee and Twirls for Nikolai and a steaming cup of tea for him.

“Did you stay here because you don’t have anyone to meet outside of base ?” He pried.

“Mh ?” Nikolai looked up from the Twirl finger he had snapped in half. “Da. I don’t know anyone in the UK.”

Price grabbed the cigar case from his inner pocket and pulled out his already half-smoked cigar before lighting it up. Smoking was forbidden inside buildings, but it was Saturday and he believed his only witness wouldn’t snitch on him. Then, he attacked. “What exactly are you doing here ?”

“What do you mean, Lieutenant ?”

“I mean exactly this. What are you doing here ?”

“You read my file, yes ?” The corner of Nikolai’s eyes wrinkled when he grinned mischievously, as if he had known Price wanted to take advantage of the situation when he invited him.

“I did.” Price blew out smoke and leaned back. “There isn’t much to read.”

Nikolai shrugged and took a bite of his snack.

“Nikolai is an alias, isn’t it ?” 

He nodded silently as he chewed, his lips still stretched in a knowing smile.

“What’s your real name ?”

“Don’t have.” He said with a shrug after swallowing.

“What, you don’t remember it ?” Price took a sip of his tea and watched Nikolai’s smile falter faintly when he shook his head.

“Just don’t have. Nikolai is good, no ?”

John put his cup down, trading it for his cigar as he hummed. “There’s no date of birth either, in your file.”

“I told you I was 34, is not difficult to calculate my year of birth.”

“What about day and month ?” Price scoffed.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Your file also says that you were stationed to guard the Soviet embassy in Copenhagen.” He continued, almost cutting him off.

Nikolai nodded. “Da. Is true.”

“Bullshit.” Price sneered. “The USSR fell in 1991. If you really are 34, there’s no way you were old enough to be deployed in a Soviet embassy.”

“Ah, yes, was 1991, I was 16.” Nikolai grinned.

“Then what ? You enlisted and they immediately sent you to Denmark ?”

“No, I did a year in USSR before.”

Price rolled his eyes, annoyed. “Sure, and they let you enlist as young as 14 or 15, that’s what you’re trying to say ?”

Nikolai chuckled a little and took a sip of his coffee. “Is easy to lie about age, especially when Russian army doesn’t care.” 

John let out an irritated sigh and placed the cigar back between his lips. Obviously, Nikolai wasn’t too keen on talking about his past. 

“I can’t do anything with my age, but you can call me Nik, if my name bothers you Lieutenant.” He added with a little smirk.

Price stared at him, somewhat speechless by Nikolai’s cheekiness, then chuckled and shook his head at the absurdity of it. “Sure, Nik.”

Panting, John put his hands on his hips and stretched his back, walking slowly to catch his breath as he rolled his head. After a few seconds, he reached for his towel and wiped off the sweat from his forehead and neck before grabbing his bottle.

“Nice one, Nik.” He smiled and took a sip of water.

“Thank you Lieutenant.” Nikolai grinned, breath short, the front and back of his t-shirt soaked.

“That’s your thing, running ?” Price asked, the autumnal breeze unpleasant on his damp skin and sticky clothes.

“Me ?” Nik chuckled, brushing his hair back and scratching his clean shaved jaw. “I smoke, Lieutenant.” He grabbed his own bottle on the bench and drank before speaking again. “And I don’t think I look like athlete.” He said, flexing his muscular left arm.

Price laughed, rubbing the towel in his hair. “Yeah, maybe you don’t.” He shook his head a little. “Let’s call it a day, eh ?”

“Haracho.” Nikolai nodded, his usual grin plastered on his face.

They walked back to the gym building and to the locker room in comfortable silence, only talking to greet other soldiers. There, Price put down his towel and bottle, removed his trainers and undressed quickly, leaving his clothes in a heap on the bench before he headed to the communal shower, Nik following right after. He greeted the three men already there and they all chatted briefly before they left, only leaving the both of them under the hot stream. Price rinsed himself one last time and, waiting for Nikolai to finish his sentence, he turned towards him knowing he wouldn’t hear what he was saying from the locker room. 

“In the end, was Preston.” He said, head tilted forward as he rinsed his hair.

“You’re getting better at observing people, it seems.” Price chuckled, watching him. 

“Of course.” 

John observed him for a few seconds longer, happy about what he saw; his training was starting to show on Nik’s body: he was getting leaner while still growing his muscles, especially where he lacked some on his lower body. Price nodded for himself, satisfied, and followed Nikolai back to the locker room where they dried themselves and put on clean ACUs. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Nik.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

Price raised his head and squinted his eyes, trying to see if he had shot in the bull’s eye. He grunted, clearly not able to see this far, and shrugged, putting the security back on the M19. He removed the cartridge clip, made sure the chamber was empty -it was not- and put it down. He rolled his shoulders and turned, only then noticing Nikolai was facing him with a strange look on his ever-smiling face. Price took off his earmuffs.

“Did you say something ?”

Nik chuckled. “Sorry, I thought you were done.”

Price smiled and pressed the button to bring the target back. “Don’t be. What was it ?”

“How long have you been in the army ?”

“12 years.” Price tilted his head. “Why ?”

“Eh.” Nikolai shrugged a little. “You never miss.”

Price took the target and analysed it. “It’s easy not to miss, it’s harder to hit the right spots.”

“Mh.” Nik hummed and took back the M4 from where he had put it down. “But you hit the right spot, yes ?”

John snorted as he threw away the target. “That's on 12 years of training, I guess.” He said as he put the empty cartridge clip back in and grabbed the last bullet. “You done, Nik ?”

“Da, Lieutenant.” 

Price nodded and led the way down the corridor to the armoury, where they gave back their weapons and leftover ammunition. He headed for the exit, not waiting for Nik to be done, and lit up his barely smoked cigar, happy to take a large drag. He blew the smoke out and put his hands in his pockets as he saw the door open again and the Russian man step out. A large grin illuminated his face when he saw he was smoking, and he reached into his own pockets to grab a pack of cigarettes.

“Light me up ?” Nik said around the cigarette between his lips.

“Sure.” Price chuckled, striking another match. 

“Thanks.” Nikolai nodded, imitating him by shoving his hands in his pockets. “About the army…” He started and Price found it funny, how he tried to look nonchalant despite his obvious curiosity. 

“Yeah, what about it ?” He smiled.

“Did you join the SAS immediately ?” 

John shook his head. “No, we can’t. To be eligible, we must have served two years at least, first. The selection is quite the journey, too.”

“Tell me.” He nodded once more, eyes not leaving Price’s.

“You know you don’t have to pass the selection, right ? You’re already with us.” John laughed.

“Ah yes, but am curious.” 

“Alright.” He shook his head again. “I had to motivate my wish to join the special forces, first, then I had to go through a series of tests: four weeks of hiking with heavy loads, then four months of training, a month of exercises in a jungle environment, parachute training and then escape training and questioning.”

For a second, Nikolai looked a little bewildered and Price realised that when put that way, it sounded a little extreme, but in the end they were special forces, the elite of the British army.

“Selection is long, yes ?” 

Price shrugged. “That’s what it takes to join the SAS.”

“What was in training ?”

“A bit of everything: demolition, ambush, weapon handling. Just…” He shrugged. “You know.” 

“And what about questioning ? Is torture ? Have you been uh… Drowned ?”

Price snorted. “Waterboarded, you mean ?” Nikolai nodded. “No, I haven’t been waterboarded, Nik. Just handled a little roughly and sleep deprived, mostly.”

“Then is torture, yes ?” 

“Kind of, though the danger isn’t real and if you cry loud enough and for long enough they send you right back to your unit.”

Nikolai tilted his head on the side as he put out his cigarette. “But pain is real, yes ?”

John raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “Don’t tell me you don’t have similar training in Russia ?”

The Russian man’s smile turned into a sly smirk, his eyes crinkling, and Price knew what he was about to say. “Eh… Maybe.”

Price shook his head, chuckling a little. “Yeah, maybe.” He put out his cigar and slipped what remained into its box. “Who’s in charge of you this afternoon ?”

“Sergeant Johnstone.” 

“Good.” He nodded, smiling. “Send her my regards.” 

For a reason Price ignored and despite everything he was enduring, Nikolai was still smiling. Through clenched teeth and sometimes with a deep frown due to the effort, but smiling. Frankly, John had never met anyone able to keep beaming while making headway through the mud, especially not when it was pouring. Price could barely see his unit in the darkness of the early morning, but somehow Nik’s smile was just too bright to be ignored. 

“Something funny, Nik ?” He groaned.

“No Lieutenant.” Nikolai answered, breath short.

“You seem to have an awful lot of fun for someone who’s panting so hard.”

Nik stood up once he reached the end of the barbed wire run and wiped his chin on a dry patch of his sleeve before sprinting for the next obstacle and grabbing the rope.

“Is better with smile, no ?” He huffed as he started climbing. 

“You’re the one making yourself despicable to the others, soldier.” Price shrugged with a smirk, clearly aware of how the others were suffering as well and probably taking Nik’s smile for cockiness. 

“The Lieutenant is jealous because I can do better than him.” Nikolai grunted in effort, swinging his leg over the wood beam. 

John raised his eyebrows, scoffing, pushing his soaked boonie hat up. “Don’t play this game with me, rookie.” 

He heard Nikolai mutter something in Russian while the other men chuckled and, satisfyingly enough, the exercise continued in silence, if not for the squelching of wet clothes on obstacles and a few curses. It didn’t take long for them to finish this run -their third- and Price nodded, pleased.

“Well done, boys.” He watched them hunch over, squat or put their hands on their head as they all struggled to breathe. He threw a glance at Nikolai and hid his grin. Of course the bastard was still smirking despite leaning forward, hands on his knees, gasping for air. “Grab a shower and scrub that mud off before it dries, I’ll see you all later.”

That evening, when Price decided to stop by the SAS break room, he was pleasantly surprised to see Nikolai among the others. He leaned back against one of the tables and crossed his arms, greeting the men. They barely had some time to chat before the door opened again.

“Captain.” Price nodded politely, glad to see him. 

“Price.” He answered, patting his shoulder in a friendly gesture. “How is everything going ?”

“Good, Sir. Nothing to complain about, except our good old British weather.” He chuckled.

“Same old, right ?” MacMillan agreed. “What about Nikolai’s training ?”

“You’ve only just landed and you’re already checking on the work you left here.” Price shook his head with a smile. “He’s doing well. Very well, even. He’s strong, fast, learning quickly. The guys like him, he’s companionable, witty, smart.” He nodded. “He’ll become a valuable teammate without a doubt.”

MacMillan hummed, visibly happy to hear his assumptions about the Russian man were right. “Keep up the good work. I have the perfect mission for you to test him on the field.”

Price raised his eyebrows. “Already, Captain ? He’s only been here a month.” 

“The sooner the better.” He said, lowering his voice so only Price could hear him. “We have to make sure he’ll be loyal.” 

John observed the group of soldiers sitting in the couches, talking loud and laughing. “Think there’s any chance he won't ?”

MacMillan shrugged, his expression changing. “Better safe than sorry.” Price nodded. “Have a nice evening, Price.” He added before patting his shoulder again and leaving. 

John scratched his beard thoughtfully, observing Nikolai. He hadn’t seemed inclined to turn his back on them: not even once did he ask suspicious questions or act strangely. He complied with every exercise or training Price and the other officers had for him without complaining and usually, with verve. Of course, the Captain wasn’t wrong, they couldn’t know what he was truly thinking, but he was almost certain Nikolai was reliable, if not by his actions, by the fact that in spite of his file being almost empty and his past almost unknown, MacMillan had still chosen to welcome him in the SAS. Somehow, the captain had a certain intuition about people that had rarely failed them, and the Lieutenant believed that this time wasn’t any different despite MacMillan’s doubts.

“Don’t take too long, briefing’s in ten, Nik.” John declared when he saw the Russian man grab his pack of cigarettes. The meeting room they were using that morning was halfway across base and if Nikolai didn’t walk there while he was smoking, he would probably be late.

“Da, da, Lieutenant.” He smirked.

Price resisted the urge to roll his eyes and turned around instead, walking briskly to the meeting room with his file in hand. As he expected, MacMillan was already there when he arrived, various pieces of paper displayed on the table on which he was leaning.

“Right on time, as always, Lieutenant.” He said, not even looking up from the map he was inspecting.

“Punctuality is the politeness of kings.” John smiled, putting his file down and sitting on a chair. 

“Have you seen Nikolai on your way here ?” He asked, bending down to write on the map.

“He’s having a smoke.”

The captain was opening his mouth to say something when the door opened on Nikolai.

“Good morning Captain.” He greeted with his usual grin, trying to hide the fact he was out of breath. 

“Good morning, Nikolai.” He groaned, checking his watch. “Almost late.”

“But still on time, yes ?” He nodded, his smirk softening into something slightly less brash. 

“Considering 8:01 is less than twenty seconds away, you’re closer to being late than on time.” MacMillan scowled, crossing his arms, and Price bit his tongue, hiding his grin.

“Sorry, Captain.” Nikolai sat down next to Price, not looking sorry at all. 

“You brought him in, Captain.” John muttered. For a second they were all silent and John wondered if this remark was pushing it too far, but then MacMillan snorted and shook his head. 

“I know.” He smiled. “Back to business, come on.”

They delved into the specifics of the mission, from the general context, stakes and goals to the details of weaponry, gear and transportation by way of maps, contacts, potential enemies, extraction and more. By the time they were finished, almost two hours had passed and every detail had been reviewed. The intel operation was easy: infiltration, minimal combat, supposedly little to no protection of the documents, hence why they were the only two SAS members of the team, yet a good test for Nikolai’s loyalty given the compromising records they were to find were Russian -which he didn’t know. 

“You’re leaving in thirty.” MacMillan declared, concluding the briefing. “Debrief at 7:00 tonight.”

“Rodger.” Price said, catching the captain’s nod as he stood up. “C’mon, let’s gear up.” 

As they walked to the armoury, Price noticed that for once, Nikolai wasn’t smiling. Instead, he wore a focused expression, lips pinched, brows slightly furrowed, as if he was deep in thoughts. John didn’t pry, at least not for now, and instead observed Nik’s movements, the way he checked the ammunition and manipulated the weapons before holstering them. He nodded for himself as he did the same, making sure everything was in order before they left. Nikolai was already deft with guns when he arrived but now he looked even more confident, handling them in quick and efficient gestures. Price sheathed his usual combat knife and grabbed the helmet he had put down on the counter earlier. 

“Ready ?” 

Nikolai looked up from where he was crouched, tying his boots tighter, a small smile on his face. “Yes Lieutenant.” 

“Let’s go.” 

John smiled, leading the way to the heliport where they grouped with the other soldiers on their operation and all climbed into the Merlin that would fly them to the aerodrome. There, they exchanged the helicopter for a clapped-out C-130K, which didn’t fail to put a sour expression on Price’s face, and took off for their two-hour flight. They spent most of the flight in silence, half of the soldiers finishing their nights splayed out on the seats while the others made small talk. John chatted mindlessly, not really concerned about making a good impression; he knew the infantry soldiers weren’t fond of the SAS because they believed them conceited and he didn’t especially care to change their mind. Next to him, Nikolai wasn’t saying much either, only nodding once or twice yet not losing his usual smile. Price wondered how he could be smiling so much, so often, when more often than not the situations weren’t particularly worth it. He peeled his eyes from him, adjusted his helmet and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, fighting a little smile: all in all, it wasn’t so bad to have such an optimistic person in the team.

Soon, they landed in what looked like a shithole, on a potholed runway where another helicopter waited for them. After a short ride, they landed again, in the middle of a field three kilometres south of their goal; a small townhouse belonging to some oil company big cheese gone to sunnier lands for a couple months of vacation. They had been informed that only four men were guarding the house during the day, but they knew the chances of a CCTV system were high, which meant there was a probability for backup being called. Price unclipped his helmet before pulling the balaclava from his pocket and on his face. He also ripped the velcro flag from his plate carrier and shoved it in another pocket. Stealth was key and if they played their cards right, they could be in and out with the documents in less than twenty minutes and off the ground in less than an hour. He placed his helmet back on and turned to his team. 

“Withers and Hoyle, with us, the rest of you wait for us here, we’ll be on the comms if anything happens.” 

“Loud and clear, Lieutenant.” 

“Extraction in…” He thought for a second, evaluating the chances of them being out according to the plan. “One hour.” They all nodded. “Let’s go.”

The four of them rapidly reached the surrounding wall of the mansion and Hoyle glimpsed inside the house with his binoculars, then scanned the perimeter. “Say the numbers are correct, the coast is clear. They’re all grouped by the main entrance, no visible camera on the outside, second floor is ours to investigate.”

“Way in ?”

Hoyle sneered and handed him the binoculars. Price took them and snorted. “Really now ? It’s gonna be that easy ?”

“What, the housekeeper left the windows open or something ?” Withers chimed in incredulously.

“Bingo.” John said, smiling when Wither’s face dropped, not thinking it could be true. “And from what I’ve seen they’re moving from the entrance, chances are they’re headed for the kitchen at this time. We’ll be home early tonight.” 

Price regained his seriousness and gave the binoculars back. “Let’s get going boys.”

They moved quickly, careful to stay quiet and low, even more so considering they were in broad daylight, keeping their vision and hearing poised to the sounds inside the house, looking for any sign that could tell them they were compromised. When John stepped down from the windowsill silently, he internally blessed the carpet and noticed vague chatting and the clinking of what seemed like cutlery, glad he was right about lunch time. Unfortunately, he also noticed wires running along the upper corners of several walls, indicating some type of electronic surveillance. Though, with the guards busy eating, they still had a high chance of going unnoticed. Without a word, he commanded each man to search a room and went to one himself, turning the handle and pushing the door slowly. Behind the door was a large bedroom filled with baroque furniture -not the master bedroom, if the lack of ensuite was any indication- probably not where the documents were. He walked in and instantly noticed the motion detector. He cursed a little under his breath and went for every drawer he could find, quietly opening them, searching through their content and closing them. He searched through cabinets and wardrobes, keeping his ears open, and finally decided he had been thorough enough to say the papers weren’t there. He went back to the corridor and entered the office, where he knew Nikolai was; the Russian man was bent over the desk, thumbing through folders. He looked up and nodded to Price before removing a small stack of folders from the pile. He opened them to make sure the papers were the ones they were looking for and John saw him frown a little before closing the files and nodding again. He handed the documents to John and placed the rest back where he had found them, following him out of the room to signal to the others they had what they needed, then back out the townhouse and beyond the wall. 

“Good job.” Price praised as they walked back through the small woods that led to the field. “Flawless execution, boys.”

“The Captain didn’t tell us the documents were Russian, no ?” Nikolai asked.

“He didn’t indeed.” John observed him, looking for any sign that he was upset about it. 

“Maybe we should have known, no ?” 

“Why ?” He squinted. “Doesn’t matter, does it ?”

Nikolai shrugged and John wished he could see his face to better analyse his feelings. “No, doesn’t matter, but it would have been good information to help.”

“Help with what ?”

Nikolai stared at him for a second, impenetrable, a glint of incomprehension and suspicion in his eyes. “Help with finding the papers easier.” He clicked his tongue. “Are you okay, Lieutenant ?”

Price nodded. “Yeah.” He decided to drop it. “You’re right.” He patted his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get back home.” 

He checked his watch as they approached the men that stayed with the helicopter and grinned when one of them told them they were early. He took a fakely embarrassed expression and shrugged. “What can I say ? These men are just too competent for their own good.”

By the time they finally landed back on base, they were two hours early on the initial schedule and proud of it. 

“Captain MacMillan is waiting for you in the Montgomery room, Lieutenant.” A soldier came to inform him. 

“Only me ?” Price asked, not surprised.

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright, thank you.” He turned towards the others. “You lucky bastards have a nice evening while I debrief.” 

He walked to the meeting room, knocked and stepped in before closing the door behind himself.

“Captain.” He greeted, unclasping his helmet and putting it on the table. “Here, the records.”

MacMillan thanked him and put the documents aside. “Let’s go straight to the point: how do you feel about Nikolai ?”

“If you have real doubts about him, then this wasn’t enough to make sure. If you don’t, I’m positive he’s with us.” 

The Captain crossed his arms. “Anything suspicious ?”

“No.” Price scratched his beard. “He only asked why you didn’t inform us the records were Russian, which is a valid question in my opinion.”

“Alright.” MacMillan hummed. “I want you to keep an eye on him for a little longer. I rely on your insight.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Let’s just drop the debrief, I’ll read your report. Have a nice evening, Price.”

“Thank you, Captain. Have a nice evening.”

He made a beeline to the armoury, impatient to get out of all his gear. Even if the operation had not been intense, Price felt tired and he walked leisurely back to his quarters. He cursed when he almost bumped into a laughing Nikolai at the corner of the barracks building.

“Ah, Lieutenant!” Nikolai grinned, his chuckles softening. “Didn’t see you there.”

Price shook his head. “No wonder, that’s often what happens when you walk backwards.”

The Russian man shrugged, not losing his smile. “Debriefing is done already ? Was quick.”

“The Captain was happy to have the documents.” He smiled a little. “And besides, there wasn’t much to say.”

Nik nodded. “Yes, yes. Then you can come with us, yes ?”

“Where ?” John frowned. “Who’s ‘us’ ?”

“Trevor and Daniel, my roommates, we’re going to the pub.”

Price’s eyebrows shot up. “Really ? On a weekday ?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that something you often do with your roommates, getting drunk on a random Tuesday evening ?”

Nikolai’s grin turned into a guilty smirk. “Nyet…” He shrugged again. “Only sometimes, when not deployed.” 

“Bloody hell…” John snorted.

“Is not always about getting drunk, you know ? Is often just to unwind a little, one drink or two.” 

“Alright.” Price laughed and started walking to his room again. 

“You’re not coming with us ?”

“Rookies usually aren’t too happy to have their officer with them during nights out.” 

Nikolai laughed. “Ah but you’re not their officer so they shouldn’t be bothered, no ? You’re mine and I don’t care that you are the Lieutenant.”

John snorted and rolled his eyes. “It’s too early to drink anyway.”

“Fine, have your teatime and then join us, yes ? We’ll be at the Albion.”

Price waved him off with a laugh and a shake of the head as he continued towards his quarters. There, he got rid of the last of his gear, took a shower and put on clean black fatigues before heading to his office to make the most of his free time by writing the report and taking care of whatever paperwork was left on his desk. Once he was done, he found himself tapping the tip of his fingers against the polished wood, deep in thoughts, hesitating. He checked the time, considering whether or not it was a good idea to join them, then decided that it had been long enough since the last time he went out: he grabbed a jacket, his wallet and his keys and went to his car. The Albion wasn’t far and he could have walked there, but going by car had its advantages, such as getting soldiers back to base if they were a tad too wasted and having the privilege of making fun of them afterwards. He didn’t even have to step inside the bar to spot the men: seated on the terrace, they were having lively conversation around beers and cigarettes. 

“Oh crap that’s the Lieutenant.” He heard one say when he walked up to them, not in a particularly pleased tone. Nikolai turned around, caught a glimpse of him and grinned wide.

“Ah! You came, Lieutenant !” 

John shrugged, a small smile on his face. “I did.” He looked at their discomfited expressions and chuckled. “You’re the only one happy to see me, though.”

“Nah, it’s okay !”

“Just so you know boys…” He started, taking a tube from his inner pocket and pulling a brand new cigar from it. “I’m not here to police you.” He cut the tip of the cigar and struck a match. “First, because I’m not your superior, but also because we’re out of base.” He took a few drags to properly light the cigar up, then shook his hand to put out the match and threw it in the ashtray. “So technically, I’m no one’s superior right now. The worse you’re risking is becoming my personal laughing stock if you end up blind drunk.” He took another drag and watched them relax a little. “Deal ?”

“Deal.” They answered at the same time.

“This one’s on me, what are you having ?” He listened to their order and nodded. “I’ll need one of you to help me carry the drinks, though.” 

“Yep, I’ll come with you.”

Price looked at him, then at the other. “Are you Daniel or Trevor ?”

“Trevor.” The man smiled.

Price smiled back with a little ‘alright’, entrusted his cigar to Nikolai, and Trevor and he stepped in the stuffy bar, music playing loudly as they made their way to the counter through the swarm of people. Price ordered and paid and soon, they were back to the table with minimum spillage and not a little proud of it. John sat next to Nikolai and they all clinked their glasses, the three of them resuming their previous conversation, which Price joined. As the evening went by, one beer turned into two, then three. Price shook his head when the men asked him if he wanted a fourth one.

“Nope, I’m responsible.” He chuckled, smoking the last of his cigar. “How many did you have before I arrived, anyway ?”

“Come on…” Nik rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know about Trevor or Daniel and it’s not my business, but you and I are getting up at daybreak tomorrow. Not that I care about what state you’re in, but I’ll make you regret it if you're late.”

Nikolai groaned a little, not losing his smile. “Come on, Lieutenant…” He repeated.

Price put out his cigar, blew the smoke out and stood up. “Guys, see you another time.” He grinned, then turned to face Nikolai. “Nik… Don’t be late, think about the rest of your unit.”

The next morning, Price was surprised to see that Nikolai was indeed on time. Far from being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but on time nonetheless. As he watched him grumble when the training started, he made a mental note to ask him at what time he had come back. As the first hour went by, he noticed not without a little smirk that Nik was sweating way more than usual and for once, he was not constantly smiling, if at all. And perhaps the fact that John had made this training session just a tad more exhausting on behalf of knowing he wouldn't be in great shape played a role in it, or perhaps not. For a second, he tried to remember if he had ever seen him in such a poor state before, or if he had had the luck not to be the one training him on those unfortunate mornings. 

“Come on boys, just a little longer and you'll be done.” He told the group -this morning only composed of men- looking at his stopwatch. He observed them as their bodies twitched and trembled, muscles threatening to give out, faces scrunched up in pain, skin glistening with sweat. 

“Almost there, keep it up.” He encouraged, letting his gaze linger on Nikolai who seemed to have it extra hard. He wondered if the mornings on which he had been smiling a little too wide were the ones when he was still drunk from a late night drinking session. He bit his tongue not to chuckle, enjoying Nik’s suffering, and glanced back at the stopwatch, waiting for it to reach 30 seconds over his initial time limit before releasing his unit. 

“And you're good, guys.” He declared, clicking the button. “Nice one today.”

The whole group let out a grunt, some more pained than others, and Price tried not to watch out for Nikolai’s expression as he boosted them a little, asking them what they had next and giving them friendly pats as they slowly headed for the gym. Unfortunately -or luckily, maybe Price was wrong about that one- Nikolai was dragging his feet and grumbling. 

“Is something wrong, russki ?” He taunted, crossing his arms and hiding a smirk.

“No Lieutenant.” Nik shook his head, wiping his face with his already drenched top. 

“Looks like it though.” He added.

Nikolai stopped in his tracks and looked at him. “Training session was harder this morning, no ?”

“Was it ?” John raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you had it harder because you went out last night.”

The hint of a grin tugged at the corners of the Russian’s lips. “I’m just a little tired, not hungover. Training was harder, I’m sure.”  

Price only shrugged, full-on smirking now, and turned around to leave.

Chapter Text

If John had believed in any form of karma, maybe he would have accepted it. But the truth was he did not believe in karma and this was probably the worst idea he ever had the chance to hear.

“What do you mean, tied to each other ?” Price pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore the way Nikolai seemed to glow next to him.

“You heard me right, Price. You and Nikolai will be tied together by the wrist and the ankle.”

“Captain, this is an obstacle course. We cannot be tied up and hope to finish it in time.”

MacMillan walked up to them with a large grin, rope in hand. “An easy obstacle course. You'll have to get creative. Turn around.”

Price glared at him, baffled. “One of us will be facing the other way ?”

Nikolai chuckled before MacMillan had the time to answer. “Come on, Lieutenant, will be fun !” He turned around, putting his right foot against Price's own right foot and pressing his right wrist to Price's. 

“I don't see the other teams being tied up facing different ways, Captain.” John groaned a little, not moving as he was bound to Nikolai at the wrist. “Or tied up at all, actually.”

“You're starting with a little handicap so the others stand a chance against you.” The Captain laughed, pushing their feet 30 centimetres apart, tying a knot to one ankle, unrolling some rope and then tying another knot to the other ankle. “It's only fair, you're the Lieutenant after all.”

Price grunted something, hating the way Nikolai was almost bouncing, his usual grin plastered on his face. 

“I'll give you two some time to adjust to your restraints, give me a sign when you're ready for your countdown.” He turned towards the others. “Now to the rest of you. Ready ? Set. Go !”

Price watched the other soldiers run off to the first obstacle, then tried the wrist tie, not really satisfied with the little give it had: barely 10 centimetres. 

“This is going to be Hell.” Price muttered.

“The Lieutenant complains too much.” Nikolai beamed. “This is going to be a challenge. I thought you liked challenges, yes ?”

“Alright.” John said and despite being in quite an acrimonious mood, Nikolai’s enthusiasm was starting to lift his spirits up. “Let’s be systematic: we have a balance beam, a concrete pipe and an inclined wall with a rope. One of us will have to go first.”

“I can go first.” Nik nodded.

“You’ll have to do things left-handed if you do.” John observed his reaction, snorting when Nikolai’s eyebrows shot up.

“Then you can go first.” Nik grinned, waggling his eyebrows. “We can't crawl through the pipe side by side, though, yes ?”

Price hummed, shaking his head. “Definitely not. We’ll have to figure something out.” 

He watched as Nikolai scanned the obstacles over his shoulder, his smile a little fainter, seemingly deep in thoughts. For some reason, seeing him so excited and focused on their exercise was relaxing but also strangely satisfying: John couldn’t help but feel a little admirative and proud of the progress Nikolai had made in such a little amount of time. Perhaps with the help of Nikolai’s generally easy-going mood, the obstacle course wouldn’t be so terrible, actually.

“You’re ready, Nik ?” Price grinned.

“Ready when you are, Lieutenant.” Nik nodded, grinning back.

“Get us started, Captain.” John declared, loud enough for MacMillan to hear him. 

“Ready ? Set. Go !”

Price raised his foot to lunge forward and run to the first obstacle but almost fell when the rope was pulled taut, Nikolai losing his balance and stumbling backwards. They held onto each other and exchanged a look. 

“Okay, no running.” Nikolai let out, chuckling.

“I didn’t quite think this through.” Price shook his head with a grin. “Let’s go, slower this time.” 

They started walking awkwardly, trying to synchronise their steps as Nikolai stepped backward and Price forward, moving in a steady yet slow pace towards the balance beam. There, Price put his left foot on it and looked at Nikolai.

“On the count of three.” He said, and they raised their right foot together, putting them down at the same time. Before he started moving on the beam, Nikolai put his own left foot as close to the beam as he could before nodding towards Price, who took a big side step before moving his right foot closer. 

“Ah wait.” Nikolai groaned, his right foot following and making him stand with his legs spread uncomfortably wide. He put his left foot on the beam and immediately lost his balance, almost tripping them both in the mud pit. “Okay.” He said once they were steady again. “Hold my hand.” He added, opening his hand for John to take.

“What ?” Price asked, a little confused.

“Hold my hand, we’ll be steadier like this because we’ll move together instead of against each other.” Nikolai nodded.

“Okay.” Price pressed his palm against Nikolai’s, surprised when he didn’t close his hand. “What ?”

“Fingers.” Nik added and John rolled his eyes with a vaguely annoyed sigh before intertwining their fingers. “See ?” He chuckled. “Steadier.”

“Yeah, alright.” Price smiled and shook his head. “Ready to move, now ?” 

Nik nodded and they quickly fell into a rhythm, helped by their joined hands: left foot, then right feet together, then left foot again and so on. Soon, they reached the highest point and confidently started descending the rest of the way at a faster pace than before. They carefully climbed down the beam and stopped there, both looking at the concrete pipe.  

“One of us will have to be on top of the other. I don’t think we can do this any other way.” Price said after a short silence.

“Sure.” Nikolai smirked and John threw him a puzzled glance.

“What’s with the suspicious tone, Nik ?”

“I want to be on top.” The Russian man snorted, his innuendo clear.

Price chuckled and shook his head a little. “Very mature, russki.” He rolled his eyes. “As you wish.” 

They walked to the pipe as fast as they dared and Nikolai crouched next to Price as he laid down, propped up on his elbows. Nik gently draped himself over Price, his left arm around his torso, the other close to John’s own right arm. 

“Are you comfortable enough to move, Lieutenant ?” He asked, his full weight on him now.

Price scoffed. “As comfortable as I can be while lying in the mud with your weight on me and my wrist and ankle tied to yours, Nik.” John felt Nik’s chin hit his shoulder and his chest shake as he laughed and he rolled his eyes again, chuckling too at the absurdity of the situation. “Come on, be a little serious.” He muttered, a wide grin stretching his lips. “Hold on tight.” 

Price started crawling forward and into the pipe, less hindered by the heavy weight than by the limited range of his right foot. He grunted as he sank into the mud, progressing slowly, grateful for Nikolai’s synchronised movements that somewhat helped. The gratefulness stopped as soon as Nikolai opened his mouth, though.

“Come on Lieutenant, faster, let’s beat the clock.”

“Shut up.” Price groaned. “I should have forced you to go first on the beam, that would’ve taught you a lesson.”

Nikolai laughed. “Perhaps am left-handed.”

“No.” Price huffed out under the effort. “I’ve seen you train. You’re not left-handed.”

“Perhaps is my hidden talent.” Nikolai chuckled, his breath hot on Price’s already sweaty skin.

“Next one on one training session…” John let out through clenched teeth as he reached the end of the pipe. “I’ll make you regret goading me.”

Price smirked internally when Nikolai stayed silent, satisfied, and redoubled his efforts to crawl the last metre, groaning through it, jaw clenched until he reached the hard, gravelly ground. He let out a small relieved sound when Nikolai rolled off him and took a few seconds to catch his breath before looking at him and suddenly wanting nothing more than to punch the smirk off his face.

“Ready for the inclined wall, Lieutenant ?”

“Sure.” He let out, voice tight, before standing up with Nikolai and walking to the wall, except this time it was Price who was facing backwards. When the Russian man stopped, John turned slightly to see his face, not surprised to read playfulness on his features.

“If that would make you feel better, I can go first, Lieutenant.” Nik grinned wide.

“I’m covered in mud, Nik.” Price retorted, clearly not wanting to make things easier for him even if it meant making probably the worst time ever recorded on this obstacle course.  

“I don’t care.” He shook his head and grabbed the rope on the ground. “Let’s go.”

John groaned as a formality and placed himself right behind Nikolai with a small smile. It baffled him how even in such a situation, dire in terms of training and reputation on base, Nikolai just kept grinning and cracking jokes. He shook his head slightly and tried grabbing the rope behind Nik, only then realising he wouldn’t be able to achieve any climbing like this. Instead, he came slightly closer to Nikolai and slipped his left arm under his to grip the rope right behind Nikolai’s hand, effectively draping himself over him, mud transferring to the back of his top and sticking them together.

“So this is how you do it, Lieutenant ?” Nikolai let out and Price could have bet he was wiggling his eyebrows.

“Stop trying to make this awkward and move.” John snorted.

“Right side first, yes ?” The Russian man asked, not waiting for an answer to move his right hand up on the rope, forcing Price to stay pressed against him. Soon, he moved his foot up, making sure his footing was stable before doing the same with the left side: hand first, then foot. “Is okay, Lieutenant ?”

“So far so good, we can move faster, Nik.” Price nodded, trying to combine his efforts with Nikolai's to gain momentum, their rhythm speeding up. They climbed steadier, faster, and in a matter of seconds they were at the top of the slanted wall, finally setting foot on the ledge. John gave a pat to Nikolai’s shoulder with a small smile when he turned around to leave him some room, before eyeing the drop and grimacing a little. 

“Are you comfortable with jumping backwards, Nik ?” 

“Nyet Lieutenant.”

“Too bad.” He scoffed. “I don’t see any other way to get down from here.”

“I’m not jumping backwards.” Nikolai protested, turning slightly to watch John’s face.

“Yes you are.” Price snorted and took Nik’s hand in his, lacing their fingers. “You trust me, right ?”

“No.” He shook his head, groaning slightly, his fingers tightening on John’s. “Not on a fall like this.”

“You’ll have to.” Price chuckled. “We have a 4-metre drop on gravel. Think you can do this ?”

“No, Lieutenant.” Nik laughed nervously.

“Alright, on the count of three.”

Nikolai let out a displeased groan and straightened, to Price’s satisfaction.

“One. Two. Three!” 

He counted clearly, giving the Russian man’s hand a squeeze to encourage him to jump when he did. The fall was quick and Nik lost his balance when they landed, stumbling and knocking them both over, Price ending up on his hands and knees.

“Ouch.” He laughed, his joints protesting as they hit the gravel. He glanced at Nikolai and snorted when he noticed his astonished expression. “You okay there, Nik ?”

Nikolai nodded slowly. “You really made me do this, Lieutenant.”

“Yeah.” John grinned wide. “I’m proud of you, soldier.”

This was not the reaction the Russian man expected, it seemed, because his eyebrows jumped up and he stared at him, his features turning into a bewildered grimace.

“What ?” Price scoffed.

“Proud of me, huh ?” The shock didn’t last long: Nikolai was already smirking again.

John elbowed him and sat back on his heels, tugging on the rope at their wrist to signal him to move too. Soon, they stood up and walked carefully to MacMillan. Price saw him push the button on the stopwatch and smile.

“Not too bad, boys.” He nodded, pocketing it. Price raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Let’s not ruin the mood, Lieutenant.”

“It’s that bad ?” 

MacMillan shrugged and took out his knife to cut the rope that tied them together.

“I want to know too.” Nik grinned, finally able to turn around freely, his left hand working on the knot on his wrist, easily loosening it.

“What time would you find humiliating ?” The Captain asked, crossing his arms.

“Anything over 90 seconds.” John chuckled, looking at Nikolai then back at his Captain and losing his smile. “...No..?”

MacMillan stayed silent, a mischievous smile on his lips as he nodded.

“No, that’s not possible, not on this obstacle course.”

“What’s your usual time, both of you ?”

“12 seconds.” Price huffed out.

“23 seconds.” Nikolai snorted.

“Sorry.” MacMillan grinned. “I told you it would ruin the mood.” He shook his head a little and gave them each a pat on the shoulder. “You’ve demonstrated a good level of cohesion, which was the goal. Don’t focus on the time.”

Price sighed a little as the Captain left and put one knee on the ground to untie the rope around his ankle. 

“You know…” He started, removing the rope and rubbing at his ankle a little. “Maybe you were right about drinks on a weekday.” He didn’t have to look at Nikolai to hear the smile in his voice when he responded.

“Ah! I knew I could make you see sense, Lieutenant !”

Price hummed as he lit up his cigar, pushing the hood off his head now that the rain had stopped. He blew on the match and threw it in the ashtray near the door, taking a few drags of much needed nicotine. From where he stood, he could see the inside of the break room, spilling warm light in the early winter night, the people inside having lively conversation, a stark contrast to the silence of the outside. He closed his eyes as he swallowed the smoke, enjoying the way it warmed his lungs and burnt his throat as he tried to remember how many of his peers had told him that cigar smoke was way worse than cigarette smoke and that he shouldn’t even swallow it, and how many of those times he told them he would probably die before cancer had any chance to develop in his lungs or throat or tongue.

He scoffed a little to himself, burying his hands in his trousers pockets and pushing the thought away. They were having a fun time and the last thing they needed was for him to come back with his mood all soured up. Price was no party animal, everyone knew this, but there was a significant gap between this and being a killjoy that he wasn’t especially eager to cross, even less when it was his usual unit that was having fun. He took another few drags before putting out his cigar, storing it away in its tube and going back inside. The warmth inside the break room felt stifling after spending some time in the chilly temperatures outside and he pulled his hoodie over his head, discarding it on the back of a chair as he walked back to the armchair he had claimed for the night. As he let himself fall in it, he noticed the mood had shifted, helped by the music, and he smiled.

“Who’s changed the music style ?” He asked no-one in particular as he grabbed his half-empty glass of whiskey.

“Preston did.” Nikolai answered from behind the armchair, making Price turn around.

“Ah.” He nodded, satisfied. “I like him more and more.”

“Yes ?” Nikolai grinned and came around the armchair, sitting in one of the sofas across it. “You like ACDC, Lieutenant ?”

“I do. I suppose it’s no surprise, given how very cliche to the army it is.” John snorted.

“Is it ?” The Russian man tilted his head a little. “In Russia, cliche army music is… Well. Army music.”

Price raised a curious eyebrow. “No wonder, I guess the USSR wasn’t too keen on diffusing anything but propaganda about the army.”

Nikolai nodded. “Yes, exactly. Is usually the Soviet national anthem.” 

John chuckled a little, leaning back in the armchair. “To be honest, I didn’t really expect Rasputin to be Russia's national army anthem.”

“ Rasputin ?” Nikolai took a sip of his beer. “You know of Rasputin the stannik, Lieutenant ?”

Price laughed, almost finding Nikolai’s ignorance endearing. “Come on Nik, don’t tell me you don’t know Boney M ? The German band ? The one that sang the song Rasputin ?”

The Russian man shook his head. “I don’t.” 

Price laughed harder. “You need to listen to this, Nik.” He stood up looking for Preston, pretty sure he’d find the hi-fi in the same location. “Come.” There, he nudged the man gently and negotiated the aux cord. “Listen to this.” 

He observed Nikolai’s face as the first notes started playing, his features going through a whole world of emotions: confusion first, then curiosity, then satisfaction and finally laughter.

“This is really good, Lieutenant !” He chuckled. “Really close to who he was, though Rasputin never was the lover of the tsaritsa.”

John shrugged and grinned. “It helps the song sound better, I suppose.” With this, he gave back the cord to Preston and went back to the armchair.

“This wasn’t the kind of music I expected you to like.” Nikolai said, sitting across from him.

“No.” Price shook his head while he took a sip of whiskey. “I like it, but it’s not what I usually listen to. What did you think my style of music was ?”

“More like ACDC.” The Russian man smiled, brushing his hair back absentmindedly. “Classic rock.” 

“You’re not entirely wrong.” Price snorted, a little surprised by how accurate Nik’s guess was. “I’d say my top five bands are Nine Inch Nails, Led Zeppelin, Deftones, Royal Blood and Disturbed.”

“I don’t know the two last ones.” Nikolai nodded with an appreciative hum. “The rest I think suits you well, is… How do you say ? Dad rock ?”

John chuckled. “ Dad rock, Nik ?” 

“Da.” He nodded, lips stretched into a wide grin. “Led Zeppelin and Nine Inch Nail are old bands, no ? Bands that dads listen to, yes ?”

“Your dad listen to that ?” Price chuckled once more. 

“Nah.” He shrugged and shook his head, not losing his smile. “I don’t have.”

“What ? A dad ?” John snorted, only to stop when Nikolai nodded. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay Lieutenant.” The Russian man nodded, still grinning. “I never had one.”

Price only hummed noncommittally, suddenly feeling like he was treading on thin ice. It was certainly not a subject he had wanted to bring on the table, and now that it was, he felt stupid. His curiosity told him to pry further, but his reason told him to bring the subject of conversation back to something lighter because no, he did not know Nikolai nearly enough to ask him about what he supposed was his absent father. He looked down into his glass as if a revelation was written under the amber liquid and finished it up in one go, clearing his throat as he glanced back up at him.

“So what do you listen to, then, Nik ?” He forced a smile on his features, trying to relax the atmosphere again.

“Ah, I’m more of a metal guy, you know ?” Nikolai grinned and it felt as if the atmosphere had never really been heavy with unsaid things, not to him at least. “Maybe you know Attila and Black Dahlia Murder, but my favourite band is a Russian one, Slaughter to Prevail.” He nodded, making a pleased face as he continued. “Really good, this one.”

Price felt his face relax, inching more towards a genuine smile than a fixed grin, and he hummed again, fingers drumming against the empty glass in his hand. 

“You should play this for me sometime, to broaden my musical culture.” 

“Now is good, yes ?” Nik grinned wider, already on his feet.

“Are you sure this is something you want to play here ? With half your unit ready to judge your musical tastes ?” Price chuckled.

“Da, da.” He laughed, not waiting for John to follow him as he went back to Preston to ask him for the aux cord in his turn. “Let them judge, Lieutenant, I know is good music.” 

Price shook his head, smiling wide now, dazed by how genuine Nikolai could be sometimes, the way social norms seemed to be like water off a duck’s back to him. He didn’t really care about being loud, bold or late, he didn’t care about standing in people’s personal space or looking distracted during meetings. John knew that it would certainly bring him trouble sooner or later especially in a field such as the military -there was only so much one could do before being caught up by the consequences - but for now, he found it strangely captivating.

“This one is my favourite.” Nik grinned as the first notes started playing.

Price raised an eyebrow as a heavy guitar riff echoed into the break room, brutally changing the atmosphere. Most of the men in the room turned to look at them in surprise, yet Nikolai seemed to remain blissfully unaware or completely careless, given how he was beaming with glee. The initial shock quickly faded and soon the usual party hurly-burly resumed. John smiled a little and went back to focusing on the lyrics, laughing lightly.

“Not much of a pro-military song, is it ?” He asked at the end of the song.

“Eh…” Nikolai shrugged. “Suits me good, yes ?”

“Can’t complain about your behaviour so far, russki.” Price grinned, raising his glass and remembering it was empty. “Refill, Nik ?” 

“Of course, Lieutenant.” He nodded as he gave the aux cord back to Preston and followed Price to the kitchenette. 

“Beer ?” He asked, bending in the fridge to reach the drawer.

“What are you drinking ?” Nikolai said, leaning back on the counter.

“Whiskey, why ?” 

“I’ll try your whiskey, then.” He smiled.

“You sure ?” John chuckled, closing the fridge, taking a bottle of Finlaggan from the cupboard and uncorking it. “It’s peaty whiskey.”

“Da.” The Russian man snorted, nodding confidently. “Don’t know what this means anyway.”

Price laughed and shook his head, taking a second glass, filling both and putting the bottle away. “As you wish. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He grinned when he handed him the glass.

“I won’t.” Nikolai took the glass to his nostrils and hummed a little, not looking too convinced. “I’m going for a smoke, you wanna come ?”

“I just came back from my cigar break.” 

“Ah come on Lieutenant.” He chuckled as he slipped his thick jacket on and zipped it up. “Don’t let me go alone.”

“What about your friends ?”

“Which ones ?” 

“I don’t know, any of them ? Daniel, Trevor, Preston, Higgs, Gator ?”

“They don’t all smoke. And besides…” He started, putting a cigarette between his lips. “I think they’ve just come back too.”

Price rolled his eyes silently, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Please ?” Nik added with a wide grin.

“Alright soldier.” He snorted. He then grabbed his hoodie and pulled it on. “Do you want me to hold your hand too, or will you be okay ?” He teased, patting his pocket to make sure he had everything.

“Don’t be like this Lieutenant.” Nikolai shook his head, giggling.

He took his glass and headed out first. Price caught him cursing in Russian under his breath once they were out, probably because of the temperature. He pulled the hood on his head, shivering slightly, and took out his cigar, slotting it between his lips. Before he could take out a match, Nikolai had his lighter in hand and was offering to light it up for him, to which he agreed. He stepped closer and brought the tip of the cigar to the flame, turning it to make sure it was evenly lighting up. Once he was satisfied, he blew on it gently and took a long drag.

“Thank you.” He said, exhaling the smoke.

Nikolai simply nodded with a smile and lit his own cigarette quickly. “Let’s try this peaty whiskey, yes ?” He said after blowing out the smoke through his nose.

“You said you didn’t know what peaty meant, right ?” Price asked, to which Nikolai nodded. “You’ll know as soon as you taste it. It’s a rich smoky taste, in short.”

Nik licked his lips and took a sip of the whiskey. For a second, he seemed focused on what he tasted, then he frowned a little.

“People usually love it or hate it, no inbetween.” Price noted, taking a sip of his own.

“Is… Quite unusual.” Nik just said, as if at a loss for words -for once. He licked his lips again. “I agree that it tastes smoky, yes. Like sucking on a piece of burnt wood.”

John laughed. “I guess you could compare it to this, yes.” 

“But…” Nikolai took another sip, swallowing it a little quicker this time, frowning still. “Am not sure if I like it or not.”

“Rub your tongue on the roof of your mouth.” 

“Why ?”

“I don’t really know why, but I personally feel like it gives you a second taste or a subtle aftertaste. Maybe that’ll help you decide.”

Nik nodded and closed his mouth to do as he was instructed. “It brings out the burnt flavour. I don’t really like it.” He said at last, immediately taking a drag of his cigarette as if to wash the taste away.

“Maybe you don’t like peaty whiskey, then.” Price nodded with a small smile.

“But it’s okay when I drink it.” 

John shrugged. “I guess that’s not too bad, then.” He took a sip. “If you want, I can make you taste one or two others that taste nothing like this one. See if you like them better.”

“Why not.” Nikolai’s smile was back on his face.

Price smiled back, content. Most often than not Nikolai was annoying, just like when he had almost begged him to come out with him; that much hadn’t changed since he arrived on base a little more than two months ago now. But the more Nikolai warmed up to him, the more he discovered he could be… Nice. He shook his head a little and took a drag of his cigar, relishing the burn of the smoke in his lungs. He threw another glance at the grinning bastard. Likable, even. 

Price swallowed hard, the metallic taste of blood coating the back of his throat as he panted, only stopping when he was safe. He cursed under his breath, ducking his head low to be fully hidden as he reloaded his gun. Everything had gone downhill fast . Not every operation could be as easy as the first one he brought Nikolai on, but this one was supposed to also be an easy one, not a bloody ambush . And yet here they were: their marksman dead, trapped in an abandoned building and with the rest of the team nowhere to be seen. He pushed his hat up, weighing his options. There was nothing he could do alone, especially now that he was confident their enemies were at least five; he needed to find at least one of his men. He weaved around the rubble and worn down furniture, keeping a low stance, listening to every sound that could lead him to any of his men, scanning every corner in hope to find them alive. He went through a few rooms, some almost empty, some cluttered with junk, his hope starting to run thin. He stayed alert to every sound, hearing faint voices in the distance, knowing their time was running out. He stepped in a carpeted room full of half-destroyed furniture and noticed immediately the shattered window and three bullet holes in what looked like a wardrobe. He stopped, staying still for a second, trying to hear something above the fast thrumming of blood in his eardrums. He moved after a few seconds when nothing came, knowing he had to keep moving, but suddenly stopped again when he heard a grunt. He licked his lips and carefully stepped around the piece of furniture, gun drawn, forcing himself to breathe slowly. Price’s blood froze in his veins when his eyes fell on Nikolai’s form lying down on rubble. He cursed and hurried next to him only to jump when he was grabbed by the vest and pulled closer suddenly.

“Suka-” Nikolai’s voice came roughly as he pointed his gun right between John’s eyes before realising who this was and moving the muzzle away from him. “Fuck Lieutenant…” He groaned, pushing himself up with a wince.

“Nik, are you injured ?” Price swallowed hard, pushing the Russian man’s arms away and observing him, looking for any sign he might be.

“Nyet.” He let out, shaking his head and pointing at the wall behind him.

John looked up and noticed two bullet impacts in the concrete. He frowned and looked at the wardrobe to confirm what he had seen before: the daylight was shining through three holes. He glanced back down at Nikolai and started patting him down thoroughly though a little frantically. 

“You’re injured. Let me look.” He commanded. 

“I’m not, Lieutenant.” 

He grunted as he sat up and put his hand on his lower abdomen on the left side. Before he could speak again, Price had replaced his hand with his own and was feeling for anything that could be wrong. He let out a relieved sigh when the only thing his fingers found was a dent in Nikolai’s plate. Gunfire echoed in the building as he was about to say something and he turned towards the sound, pausing for a second.

“Come on, let’s move, we need to get out of here.” He urged, taking Nik’s hand and helping him up, earning a round of curses. “Yeah, broken ribs aren’t much fun, I know.” 

“I’ll live.” Nikolai chuckled weakly, face wrinkled in pain. “I’ve had it worse.”

“Then let’s join the fun, our team needs us, soldier.” Price finished, pushing away the slight worry and focusing back on the mission at hand; it was easier now that he was sure Nikolai wasn’t in a life threatening situation.

It proved more difficult than he thought to progress quietly when one person had broken ribs, especially when it came to duck walking: the muted wheezing Nikolai was making wasn’t what he could call silent. They went through one last room carefully, the shooting sounds seemingly coming from the next, and stopped, Price trading his handgun for his M4. He expertly removed the safety and checked the ammunition, silently asking Nikolai for a visual. He saw him take his own rifle and get on the ground, carefully crawling forward. He stilled and raised two fingers before gesturing to give him their position. Steadying his breath, John raised his rifle in the direction Nik was pointing at and raised a questioning eyebrow. On his instruction, he adjusted his position, stopping only when he was given a nod. He took a deep breath, counted down to three with his fingers, then shot a dozen rounds through the drywall before bending down and barging in the room. With Nikolai on his heels, they made sure the room was clear, checked every angle and went to their two team members on the right end of the room.

“You're alright, boys ?” He asked when he crouched next to them, looking over his shoulder to keep an eye on the entrances.

“All good.” The one closer to him answered, short breathed. 

“All good too.” The other said, voice strained.

“Doesn't sound much like it.” Price frowned.

The man pointed to his leg, where Price noticed a tight bandage on his calf through which blood was starting to seep.

“Nothing I'm not used to.” He grinned, though it was through clenched teeth.

“Alright.” He glanced at Nikolai, who was standing guard. “Nik, call for exfil. We're getting out of here. On your feet boys.”

He helped them up and they started carefully progressing to the exfil zone, still not entirely sure that they were safe. Price only allowed himself to relax when the building was out of sight, leaning forward and letting his head down, stretching his neck. The mission was supposed to be easy but in the end, they were coming home with only half the intel and a corpse. He swallowed hard, his throat dry, trying -and failing, if he was honest- not to blame himself for this loss. He should have been more prepared, more alert, faster, smarter. Instead, he had failed his marksman. He looked at the men in the helicopter with him, at their injuries, and bit his tongue, suppressing the urge to scream. He had failed his team . He almost jumped when Nikolai put a hand on his shoulder.

“Everything alright, Lieutenant ?”

Price sighed and looked at him, wondering yet again how he managed to smile. “Yeah, all good, Nik.”

“You're sure about that ?” He added, squeezing his shoulder slightly, then straightening with a wince.

“Someone died under my command and you almost did, too.” He shrugged. “I'm fine.”

“Was it the first time ?” Nikolai frowned, his expression a little more serious now.

“No.” John scratched his beard, suddenly feeling too young, wondering if Nikolai found his self-blame childish, if he thought it was a lack of experience. “But it doesn't get easier.”

This time, the Russian nodded silently, not pushing the matter further. Price wondered why, wondered if behind his usually mirthful brown eyes, Nikolai had seen his fair share of atrocities. Violence, injuries, death. Raped teenagers, mangled bodies, decapitated children. He swallowed thickly, rubbing his hand on his face as if to wash the filth away. He looked at Nikolai, observed how he leaned on his left to ease the pain, noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He wondered, again, if he had seen as much as John has, at 28. Of course he had. Wondered how young he could have been, when humanity proved itself rotten to the core to him. A boy born and raised in the USSR, indoctrinated since birth, yet who still chose to turn his back on his home country. He took a deep breath and tore his eyes and mind from Nikolai, focusing on the report he would have to write instead. In the end, office work always seemed to provide the most grounding tasks.

Later that night, when the corpse had been laid in the morgue, when debrief was done, when hard stares where exchanged, when the report was written and when finally, he dared step out of his office and walk back to his flat, hoping for the brisk air to soothe his mind, he bumped into Nikolai. He only nodded politely, not even stopping.

“Are you alright, Lieutenant ?” The Russian man asked.

“All good, Nik.” He replied in a carbon copy of the conversation they had earlier.

“You don’t look much like it.” 

Price looked at him, only half-surprised to notice he was smiling. “Aren’t you supposed to be resting on a hospital bed ?”

“Eh…” Nikolai shrugged, chuckling. “The doc patched me up and said I was good to go.”

“You’re sure about that ?” John raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what they usually say when you show up with a broken rib.”

“Was not broken !” He protested. “You were wrong. No broken bone, the shooter was too far. Only a painful bruise.”

“You’re lying, Nik ?” He snorted.

“No !” Nikolai raised his tee-shirt to show him a hand-sized, angry red bruise. 

“Bloody hell that’s one pretty hematoma you’ve earned yourself.” Price chuckled slightly. “Does it hurt ?”

“A little bit.”  

“Yeah ?” John jabbed his finger right on it. “What about now ?”

Nik let out a pathetic yelp and jerked away with a chuckle that quickly turned into a pained groan. “Yeah, yeah…” 

“Go get some rest, soldier. That’s an order.” 

“I was on my way there.” The Russian man grinned, rubbing the spot lightly with the palm of his hand. 

“Then how is it you’re always in my way ?” Price teased.

“Eh…” Nikolai shrugged and turned to leave. 

John snorted as he watched Nikolai walk away casually and decided to do the same. He was a little annoyed that he had been wrong about the broken ribs, especially because Nikolai was so smug about it, but he was relieved that it was nothing serious. A few days’ rest and he would be on his feet. Price only noticed the change in his mood when he stepped in front of the mirror of his bathroom to undress and found himself smiling a little. He observed his reflection for a second, khaki tee-shirt in hand, made the mental note that his beard was starting to get a little too long, and his smile faltered as the memories of the day played in his mind. The dust that lifted from the ground when they were shot at. The crackling of their sniper’s radio after he warned them. The shout of pain and the immediate silence after. The daunting static that answered Price’s calls. He clenched his teeth and stepped under the cold stream. No, it never got easier.

Chapter Text

“Bloody hell-” Price grunted, stepping on the brake, shifting the gears down quickly and avoiding a crashed vehicle. 

Nikolai whistled, right hand tight around the grab handle. “Easy, Sebastien Loeb.”

John snorted as they jinked and drove on, catching a glimpse of one of the militia’s vehicles ahead. He felt around next to the handbrake and grabbed his rifle, steering with one hand and removing the security with the other. He stepped on the throttle, the engine racing.

“Shit- Nik, can you shift the gears up for me ?”

“Yes, Lieutenant.” Nikolai put his left hand on the gearstick. “Tell me when.”

“Now.” Price kicked the clutch, waited for Nikolai to shift the gear and released the clutch, soon accelerating again. He spoke again when the rev-counter went up. “Again.” 

He stepped on the gas once more and awkwardly pointed his rifle through the open window, trying to shoot their tires. 

“Aren’t they fast slags…” He mumbled, removing his foot from the throttle and stepping on the clutch again. “Now.” He accelerated as soon as he could and threw a quick look to Nikolai. “See if you’re better at bursting their tires, Nik.”

He licked his lips nervously, finally driving fast enough to catch them, and placed their pickup truck on the left of the other vehicle to give Nikolai a better angle. Heart racing, he glanced between the road and the men inside the car, steering as skillfully as he could to make sure they weren’t shooting directly at them. Price cursed when a bullet shattered the windshield.

“Nik we need to-” He barely had the time to say something: three new shots echoed and the car they were chasing swerved before suddenly rolling over and stopping on its four wheels. 

“We need him alive.” He grunted, slowing the pickup truck quickly and pulling the handbrake, rifle in hand. “Let’s go.”

They took advantage of the dust to progress quickly to the car, knowing they had little time before the men came to their senses. Price circled the car, opening the back door in one swift move. Before he could see who was seated there, he was hit violently in the face and fell backward, groaning. He raised the M4, ready to retaliate, only to recognize their target. He cursed again and jumped on his feet as the man started running. John opened the front door, saw the men were dead and turned on his heels, hurling himself after the target. The bastard was fast but Price knew he could count on his stamina and, in the worst case, on his gun. It was never a good idea to injure a target, even less when they were supposed to grill them after, but sometimes… He cleared his mind and pushed himself harder. He was slowly catching up with him as he lost his sprinting energy and soon, Price threw himself at him, tackling him down to the ground with a grunt. They landed violently on the hard ground, pain shooting up from his shoulder. He narrowly dodged an elbow aiming for his head and grabbed the man’s wrist, twisting his arm behind his back.

“Stay put.” He said through clenched teeth, turning him on his stomach and grabbing his second wrist, zip locking both tightly. He put a knee on his back and let out a sigh, breathing hard still. “Fast one eh ?” He grunted, rolling his hurting shoulder. 

After a few seconds, he retrieved his rifle and pulled the man up to his feet. Just as they started walking, tires screeched and he turned his head, seeing it was Nikolai.

“All yours.” He said, pushing the target towards him. 

“Ah, hello new friend.” Nik chuckled, manhandling him onto the backseat of the truck and tying his ankles together.

Price climbed behind the steering wheel and frowned. “Wasn’t the windshield shattered ?”

“ Chto ?” Nikolai laughed. “What windshield ?”

“You kicked it out ?” John laughed too, not believing it.

“Was impossible to see through it.” He nodded with a little shrug as if it was normal behaviour.

“We’re in for a breezy ride back then, I guess ?” Price snorted, handing the rifle to Nik and driving away from the road. 

Nikolai laughed and put the safety on the rifle, putting it at his feet, his own handgun in his hand. He turned to face the man in the backseat, keeping an eye on him. They drove quietly to a remote, half-dismantled hangar, where they traded the pickup truck for an  inconspicuous city car. Price let the Russian man call for exfil while he gagged and blindfolded the target and they soon found themselves driving to the small airfield on the opposite side of the city. Leaning back in his seat, right hand on the steering wheel and left arm resting folded on the open window, John was deep in thoughts when Nikolai spoke.

“Do you still go on missions with the Captain, Lieutenant ?” 

“Not really, no.” He declared. “The more he takes responsibility, the less we see him, unfortunately.”

“I see.” Nikolai hummed.

“Why, you miss him, Nik ?” Price teased.

“No, no.” He grinned. “Was just thinking that it is unusual for the GHQ to send only two people on an operation like this one. And so I thought about the Captain.”

“I see.” He mimicked, earning himself a knowing smirk. “Thank you for shifting the gears earlier, by the way. Turns out I’m not as dexterous as I thought with left-hand drive cars.”

“No problem.” Nik started and Price heard in his voice that he was about to say something stupid. “I’d play with your gearstick anytime, Lieutenant.” He chuckled, waggling his eyebrows.

“Oh come on Nik, what are you, twelve ?” He guffawed. It was even worse than he expected.

“I’m good at it, no ?” 

“Jesus…” Price snorted, shaking his head. “I know the military have a reputation of being salacious men but please.” 

“Come on, Lieutenant-”

“Keep my rank out of your filthy mouth.”  He interrupted with a chuckle.

“Then what ?” Nikolai protested, grinning wide. “Would you prefer me to call you Price or John when I make such jokes ?”

“I would prefer you not to make such jokes.” He snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Negative.” The Russian man shook his head. “You choose or I choose.”

“Then go with Price, this way I’ll know when you’re about to make a dirty joke and I’ll be able to cover my ears.”

John stayed silent the rest of the ride, trying to ignore the shit-eating grin that unsurprisingly never left Nik’s face. When they landed back on base, they transferred the hostage, debriefed and finally were released from duty. They chatted on the way back to their quarters and just as Nikolai turned towards the dorm and Price continued straight ahead, he heard someone call Nik and recognized the voice of one of his roommates. He sped up, knowing what this usually meant.

“Lieutenant !” 

He let out a little grunt and stopped in his tracks, turning around. 

“Wanna join us tonight ?” Daniel smiled. 

“You’re going to the bars ?” He smiled back.

“Nope, partying here.”

“Sure thing.” John nodded.

“There will be a few other units, too.”

“Celebrating something ?”

Daniel shrugged. “Operators-came-back-uninjured party ?”

“Alright.” Price snorted. “See you tonight boys.”

When he prepared himself to get under the shower, he scratched his beard and decided that this time it was definitely too long. He took out his clippers and started confidently trimming it just like he usually did. After a few minutes, he put the clippers down and combed the cut hairs out, watching his reflection. He frowned. One side was longer, wasn’t it..? He took the clippers once more and tried evening it out. Somehow, it made it worse. He sighed, not finding the patience in him, and trimmed everything before taking out shaving foam and a razor. It had been a while since he last shaved his beard completely, but it felt good sometimes. Once done, he cleaned the hairs and hopped in the shower, then put on a white tee shirt and a pair of used jeans. It ripped at the knee when he slipped his right foot in and he groaned, too tired to change; it would have to do. He grabbed his leather motorcycle jacket -for a change- and checked the time: he had the time to squeeze in a little work before heading to the party. He went to his office, enjoying the short walk with his cigar, and didn’t waste time to dive into the paperwork left on his desk. He only stopped when his phone buzzed, to take it out. He frowned when he unlocked it and saw a text from a number he didn’t know.

19:38

youre late

He typed quickly.

19:39

Who is this ?

The answering text came almost immediately.

19:39

this is Nikolai

Price scoffed.

19:39

Who gave you my number ?

19:40

sgt Johnstone

John groaned a little. Why did she give him his number ? Another text came in.

19:41

it’s okay, it’s your ptofessional number

19:41

No Nik I don’t have a professional number, I only have this one.

19:41

I won’t harass you I promise

John rolled his eyes with another scoff and put the phone down on the desk, decided to finish the task at hand. It buzzed again soon.

19:47

but you’re still late

19:48

Daniel didn’t give me a specific hour.

19:48

yuore home ?

19:49

No.

19:49

where are you ?

19:50

So much for not harassing me, russki…

19:50

??? 

19:51

…In my office, working.

19:51

this isn’t time to work, is time to drink

19:52

I’ll be here in 20.

Price shoved his phone back in his pocket with a shake of the head. What a brilliant idea, to give him specifically his number. He would have to talk to Charly about giving his number to people. He focused back on his work in order to finish it quickly and before long he was on his way to the larger room they used for parties, guessing they wouldn’t all fit in the small SAS break room. He was indeed right and he could hear music seeping through the walls as he came closer. He stopped in his tracks when the large bay windows came into view and took his phone, a wide grin splitting his face. 

20:18 

>Picture

There’s disreputable people in this party.

He looked up from the screen and watched through the window as one of Nikolai’s hands reached for his back pocket to grab his phone while he talked, almost mechanically checking the notification. Price chuckled to himself when he saw his lips still, his brows furrowing.

20:20

no one told you spying is bad ?

When Price looked up from his phone this time, the Russian man had turned around and was looking through the window, squinting to spot him in the darkness. He chuckled, pocketed his phone and walked in the corridor that led to the room. It was packed full of people from three different units -some he didn’t even recognize- loud with music and chatting, the atmosphere stuffy. He greeted the people he knew on his way to Charlotte and Nikolai.

“Good evening Charly, Nik.” He smiled. 

“Lieutenant Price.” She nodded.

“Lieutenant.” Nik whistled. “You shaved ?”

“Nah, I just shed my beard every couple of months.” Price rolled his eyes.

“It’s been a while since the last time you shaved, hasn’t it ?” Charlotte hummed.

“A little over six months, I’d say.”

“Suits you well.” Nikolai beamed. “And you ride motorcycles ?”

“I used to, yeah. Then I crashed and I haven’t had the time nor the money to buy a new one.” He said while removing the thick leather jacket that now felt way too hot.

“Ripped jeans, Price ?” Charlotte chuckled when she noticed the tear. “Who are you and what have you done to our lieutenant ?”

Price shook his head with a smile. “Are you two done with scrutinising me ?”

Nikolai shrugged with one of his usual little eh and the sergeant only crossed her arms in a defying stance. 

“Also, Charly, why would you give my number to Nikolai, of all people ?”

“He was worried you fell asleep.” She smiled. “And I know you trust him.”

“Do I, now ?” John raised an eyebrow.

“Da, of course.” The Russian smirked with a nod. “Let me give you proof: we go to the kitchen and you’ll see.” 

“Sure.” John snorted, waving at Charly as he followed Nikolai to the small separate kitchen. There, Nikolai took a glass out of a cupboard and showed him a bottle of whiskey. 

“Is that my bottle, Nik ?” He laughed, recognising the brand and noticing it was only half full. 

“Yes ! I brought it here from the other break room.” 

“How thoughtful.” He grinned. “Thank you.” 

Nikolai shrugged and poured him a glass. They clinked their drinks together, cheering to the operators-came-back-uninjured party . They drank and were about to go back to the main room when someone stepped in backwards, laughing. He almost bumped into them, turned around and apologised.

“Sorry.” He smiled and extended a hand, half polite, half tipsy. “I’m Thomas Fendley.”

“Lieutenant Price.” John shook his hand.

“Nikolai.” The Russian man only said as he did the same.

“Nice to meetcha.” He nodded and went to the fridge. 

“Young one.” John said with a small smile as they exited the kitchen. 

“You think ? 20-something, yes ?”

“That’s quite young, don’t you think ?” Price said, taking a sip.

“Not younger than you are to me, Lieutenant.” Nik said with a sly smile.

John stopped in his tracks, looking dead at him, thinking, then his eyes widened a little. “Shit you’re right.” He was about to speak again when they bumped into another person they didn’t know. Price bit back a sigh; he felt like this wasn’t going to be the last time this night. The man smiled.

“You must be Lieutenant John Price ?” He asked. “I’m Sergeant Joseph Lester.”

“I am, yes. Nice to meet you Sergeant.”

“And you are..?” 

“Nikolai.” 

“Nikolai..?” The sergeant asked, waiting for a last name.

“Just Nikolai.” Nik smiled smugly.

“Well…” The man frowned slightly but nodded nonetheless. “Nice to meet you, Nikolai.”

“Likewise Sergeant.” 

They walked a little further, almost back with Charlotte now. Price was trying to avoid the other men and women he didn’t know, already tired of making introductions. As they made their way through the people slowly, an idea came to Price suddenly and he could feel the corners of his lips pulling his face into a smirk against his will. 

“You know, Nik…” He started, hiding his too wide grin. “People aren’t used to someone not having a last name. If we get stopped again, maybe you should invent one.”

“Sure.” Nikolai snorted. “Any idea, Lieutenant ?”

“I don’t know…” John had to bite his tongue not to laugh. Nikolai had walked straight into his trap. “What do you think of, uh… Let’s say… Yslova ? Y-S-L-O-V-A ? Sounds Russian enough for you ?”

“Eh… It will do for you English people, I think.” He chuckled. “Does it sound Russian enough for you , Lieutenant ?”

“It does, yeah.” Price nodded with a little agreeing grimace. “Though let’s hope we don’t have to introduce ourselves again.” The truth was, he was almost looking for someone to ask them now.

“I think I know some of them.” The Russian man mumbled. “I’ve seen a few during training, I think.”

John only nodded silently, stopping to take a sip of his drink before slowly trying to go back to Johnstone again. They had almost reached her when a man stopped them once again and Price was internally jubilating.

“Lieutenant Price !” He greeted with a large smile. “I heard a lot about you.”

“Did you ?” He politely smiled, impatient.

“I did.” Just like the other men, he extended his hand. “I’m Anthony Wavell, but everyone calls me Gallon.”

“Nice to meet you, Gallon. I suppose there’s a story behind this nickname ?” He chuckled as he shook his hand.

“More than one, Lieutenant.” He grinned and turned to face Nikolai. “And you are..?”

“Nikolai Yslova.” He answered enthusiastically before shaking his hand too. Price bit the inside of his cheeks.

The man’s handshake slowed as he frowned and threw a glance at Price. He looked back at Nikolai.

“...Nice to meet you too, Nikolai.” He said, a little awkwardly now, before looking a little strangely at John again and leaving.

“What’s wrong ?” Nikolai grumbled, turning to Price. “I add a last name and he only uses first name, and on top of that looks at me like I’m an alien.”

“No idea.” Price shrugged, barely containing his laughter. 

Despite his greatest efforts, he was chuckling to himself when they finally reached Charlotte again. She finished her conversation and turned to them with a smile, her expression turning curious when she saw them: John was laughing and Nikolai was still mumbling to himself, looking slightly upset.

“Did something happen in the kitchen ?” She asked with a little snort.

“No, it’s just that people we don’t know kept greeting us.” Price said, reigning his laughter in.

“And what’s wrong with that ?” She came again.

“What’s wrong, yes ?” Nikolai started ranting, his accent thickening. “First they look at me weird because I don’t have last name then I invent last name and they look me weird again. Ask them what’s wrong.”

Johnstone raised an eyebrow. “Did they ?”

“Yeah.” Nikolai groaned before muttering something in Russian too low for them to hear.

“What last name did you choose ?”

“Lieutenant suggested Yslova, so he said ‘Hi I’m John Price’ and I said 'Hi I’m Nikolai Yslova’ and they just…” His voice died down as he made a vague gesture with his hand. 

“Oh.” She said, her grin widening and soft laughter bubbling out of her throat. “Oh I get it now…”

“ Chto ?” Nikolai asked, visibly not happy that she was starting to laugh too.

“Ain’t that a nice last name you found for him, John ?” She giggled.

“Yeah…” He bit his tongue to contain his own laughter.

“See, Nikolai, this isn’t your fault.” She turned back to him. “Say it again.”

“What ? Nikolai Yslova ?” He grumbled.

“Sounds familiar ?”

“No.”

“With your accent it really sounds like you’re saying ‘Nikolai, his lover’...” She snorted, biting her lip.

The Russian man faced Price, the wrinkle of his frown disappearing. “Really ?”

John nodded, chuckling, a tad ashamed to have made him say this. 

“You suggested this because it sounded like that ?” Nikolai started grinning mischievously.

“Yeah. Sorry, Nik.” He nodded, not looking sorry at all. 

“That’s why Gallon looked me weird, eh ?” He shook his head, snorting. “Lieutenant, you shouldn’t play this kind of game with me.”

“Is this going too far ?” Price suddenly lost his smile, afraid he crossed a line.

“No, no.” Nikolai’s smile turned feral. “But you know the saying we uh… Reap what we sow, yes ? I win all the time.”

“Do you, now ?” Price grinned, shaking his head a little, relieved. “We’ll see then.” 

He took a sip of whiskey and they casually went back to what they were saying earlier. People came and went, never staying too long with their group of three, chatting and laughing and catching up, minutes flying by and turning into hours. As the night went on, more and more people left and soon, only half of the initial crowd remained. John checked the time and made a small sound. 

“Is it late ?” Charlotte asked, her light brown eyes slightly lidded.

“Almost 2 am.” He said, smiling through the light alcohol-induced drowsiness. “I’d better go to bed and you should too, Charly.” He looked at Nikolai and snorted. “I’d tell you to go to bed too but you wouldn’t listen, would you ?”

“Eh…” Nikolai shrugged. “But before you leave, Price, let me show you a party trick.”

John grumbled. He remembered telling Nikolai to call him Price when he was about to say something he knew John wouldn’t like to hear. 

“God no…” He laughed. “Another raunchy joke, Nik, really ?”

“No, I said is party trick.” He grinned mischievously. “Just wait.”

“I wanna see it too.” Charlotte chuckled tipsily. 

John rolled his eyes playfully and crossed his arms, watching as Nikolai rummaged in his coat pockets, took out his pack of cigarettes, took out one cigarette and tore it near the filter. 

“What a trick.” John teased with a grin. “Thanks Nik.”

“No no, Lieutenant, you’ll see.” He smirked larger and took out his lighter. “Don’t go snitching, eh ?” He said, waggling his eyebrows at Charlotte, who chuckled in response.

Nikolai lit up what was left of the cigarette, took two drags and made a move with his hand for Price to come closer. “Come here Price, please.”

John scoffed a little, exaggerating his annoyance as he stepped closer to Nikolai. “That good ?”

“Perfect.” Nikolai articulated around the cigarette. “Now for the actual trick…”

Price observed the Russian man as he took another drag, blew the smoke out his nostrils and, with a deft movement of his lips, turned the cigarette around into his mouth. John’s eyebrows shot up, genuinely impressed. He looked up into Nikolai’s eyes to speak his wonder but didn’t have the time: Nikolai grabbed his face with both hands and crashed his lips on his. Price barely had the time to understand what was happening before it was all over, the Russian man smiling as he flipped the cigarette out again, still lit . 

“Jesus fucking Christ Nik.” John exclaimed, more astonished by the mock kiss than by the cigarette. 

“No way…” Charlotte giggled, clapping. 

Nikolai smiled smugly, taking the last drag to prove the cigarette was indeed still lit.

“You’re out of your mind.” Price chuckled, dazed.

“Ah, I told you, Lieutenant, I always win.” Nik winked before dropping the cigarette butt into his beer bottle. 

John let out a small strangled sound, between a chuckle and a gasp. He had already forgotten about that whole reap-what-you-sow deal. 

“Why didn’t you kiss Charly instead ?” He grinned.

“Well first because I wanted revenge, and also because I’m gentleman, Lieutenant, I wouldn’t kiss a woman without her consent.”

Price shook his head, chuckling again. “Right. Then if you two don’t mind, I’ll be on my way, it’s late.”

“What’s the rush, Price ?” She asked, her soft smile making the corner of her eyes crinkle.

“I’ve drunk enough.” He said in a quiet voice, a content expression on his features. “I know myself, I should go before I overdo it.”

“No hard feelings then, Lieutenant Price ?” Nikolai grinned wide. 

“I’ll meditate on that, russki.” He said with a smirk, pulling his leather jacket on. “See you, Charly.”

He saw her small nod and Nikolai’s insufferable expression when he turned around. Cheeky bastard.

Chapter Text

“I don’t remember it taking this long, last time…” Nikolai groaned, rubbing his thumb over his rifle.

“First time you’re cleaning fine sand out of your M4, Nik ?” John grinned, even though he was struggling with his own rifle.

“I guess.” He winced. 

“Ain’t no better way to spend the last three hours of the day.” Price chuckled, pouring gun oil on his pipe cleaner. 

“So much more pleasant with the campfire, eh Price ?” Nikolai rolled his eyes with a snort.

“Damn right russki.” John chuckled again, shaking his head a little. 

It had been a few weeks now that Nikolai had dropped the Lieutenant part of his greetings and calling. He was careful with it at first, only daring one Price in five Lieutenants , in fear -if a man like Nikolai even had the capacity to fear anything- of retaliation, then when it was clear nothing bad would happen to him, it became more and more frequent and now, John was more used to be called by his name than by his rank. The Russian’s voice took him out of his thoughts. 

“Warm weather is nice, but sand I hate.” He mumbled, trying his best to push sand out of the recesses of his gun with the corner of his rag. 

“Are you considering changing the destination of our Christmas vacation, Nikolai ?” Price exaggeratedly gasped, his voice taking a desperate tone. “What about my Bali dreams ? What about your promise to the kids ?” 

“Ah darling…” Nik laughed, overdoing his accent. “Russian man kill bear, Russian man cut tree, then Russian man drink vodka. No Bali, only snowy steppe of Siberia, lyubimaya .”  

Price grinned wide, laughter bubbling out of his throat. “ Lyubimaya ? What does it mean ?”

“Is Russian word for ‘darling’.” Nikolai smiled. “But for women.”

John’s eyebrows shot up before he snorted, shaking his head again. “Of course, what else.”

They then fell into a comfortable silence, scraping and brushing sand away, mourning their lack of compressed air and proper table to work on. After a couple more minutes, Nikolai spoke again.

“Can’t we just pour water all over it and call it a day ?” 

“Can’t risk them rusting.” Price shrugged, putting the gun down on his knees and reaching for one of his pockets to take out his cigar tube. 

“Hopefully I won’t have to deal with sand when I’ll be in the helicopter.”

“When’s your first flight ?” Price asked as he lit his cigar up.

“Next uh… Wednesday, I think.”

“You think ?”

“Eh…” Nik shrugged with a smirk. “My brain is sand too.” 

“I would have thought you’d be more excited than this for your first flight.” 

“I’ll be excited when I’m the pilot. Passenger I know already.” He argued.

“Mh.” John tilted his head on the side once, blowing out smoke. “Fair enough.”

“Can I try ?” Nikolai asked, nodding to the cigar. 

“Oh sure you can.” He smirked, taking the cigar from his mouth and blowing on the tip. “But you may not.”

Nikolai mumbled something in Russian -probably a rant and some curses, seeing the face he made- and sighed. “I hate English.”

“Here. Don’t wet the tip.” Price laughed, handing him the cigar.

The Russian man took it with a wicked smile and Price barely had the time to utter a protest.

“I know how to wet the tip alright.”

“Jesus Nik…” John snorted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “One day you’ll say this to the wrong guy and he’ll punch your lights out.”

“Not a chance.” Nikolai said before wiping his lips with the back of his hand and taking a long drag out of the cigar.

“Why not ?” Price asked, scratching the stubble on his chin, watching him take in the taste of the smoke. 

“Because these jokes I make with the single men I hang out with.” He grinned after blowing out the smoke. “And you’re the only one.” 

“Bullshit.” John crossed his arms. “They’re all shacked up ? Every single one of them ?”

“Da.” He nodded, handing the cigar back. “This is really good, Price.” 

“You bet. And it’s not the best I have in my humidor.”  He observed the cigar and smiled. “And it’s dry.”

“I’m not a monster.” Nikolai shrugged with a smirk. 

“So you were telling me, all of your friends are taken ? Even Gator ?”

“Eh… Hard to believe but yes.”

“You’re lying. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him with a different girl every time I’ve bumped into him.”

“Da, da, but they are his mistresses.” 

“What ?” Price chuckled.

“Yeah, he’s cheating. A lot.” 

“How old is he anyway ?”

“24.” 

“Well, I suppose he’s…Resourceful.” He said with a small laugh. 

Part of him was a little horrified with how some of the young men he was training treated women, but the other part felt that it was just the way everything went at that age: things came and went and young people took what they could from it, just like the saying went; kids will be kids. Being only 28 himself, it felt a bit contradictory: he had never really chased after girls the way some of his friends had, never taken part in their notches-on-the-bedpost competitions. He had always kept his relationships private, preferring to share them with his closest friends rather than brag about it to everyone. If he was completely honest, it was not only for privacy but also because he was afraid of the reaction some of his then-friends could have had. Some of these relationships had been with men, and he had seen the way those people he used to call his friends reacted to homosexuality. At best, they were mocking and at worst, they were violent, but most often than not, they were insulting. He had forgotten how many times he had forced himself to stay silent in fear of rejectoin, of humiliation, when his friends had thrown slurs and offensive gestures at gay men. He suddenly snapped out of his reflection when hot ashes fell on the back of his hand and he hurriedly brushed them away.

“Thought I’d lost you here, Price.” 

He looked up, a little startled, eyes falling on Nikolai’s smiling face, seemingly devoid of malice this time.

“Sorry.” He smiled back.

“What were you thinking about ?”

“Wondered what I was doing at 24.” He lied with a shrug.

“Was only four years ago, you must remember well.” Nik grinned, back to cleaning his rifle.

“Yeah, kind of. I wasn’t much of a skirt-chaser, compared to Gator.”

“What about now then ?” Nikolai chuckled, the mischievous spark back into his dark eyes. 

“It hasn’t changed.” John laughed, putting his cigar out on the bottom of his shoe and slipping it back in its case. “What about you, what were you doing at 24, Nik ?”

“Was probably a skirt-chaser, like you say. I remember feeling lonely when my bed was empty.” He grinned wide. “Spent a lot of time drunk and even more time hungover.”

“The absolute cliché of a Russian.” Price guffawed, leaning on his M4 again as well. 

“Eh…” Nikolai shrugged, canines showing. 

“Though I haven’t seen you accompanied much since you’ve been with us.” Price teased, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh I had a few distractions already.” His grin turned into a smug smirk. “But not on base, I know what these women are capable of, I don’t want trouble.” 

Price snorted. “Damn right.”

“Have you had a fling or two on base ?” The Russian man wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh we’re about to talk about that , uh ?” He chuckled.

“Aren’t we already ?” 

“Fine.” Price snorted again, rolling his eyes. “I had, yeah.” He spoke again when Nikolai stayed silent, gaze trained on him, devilish smile not faltering. “What, did you expect details or something ?”

“You say ‘yes’ and that’s it ? Nyet.” Nikolai shook his head, a falsely disapproving expression on his amused features. “Come on, give me something.”

“Alright, alright.” John laughed. “What do you want to know ?”

“I don’t know. Anything. When ? How many ? SAS ?”

“Jesus…” 

“Come on Price…” 

“You know russki…” He chuckled, brushing his hair back. “You might as well call me by my name, if we’re going into this kind of details.”

“Oooh, are we becoming friends then ? Such a shame, I was just getting used to Price .”

“I don’t know, do you often talk about your conquests with your superiors ?”

“Ah, I suppose we already are, eh ?” Nikolai grinned. “Do you sometimes think about how cliché the name ‘John Price’ is ?” He added.

“My name’s Jonathan, actually.” Price rolled his eyes with a snort. 

“Really ?” The Russian man raised his eyebrows, genuinely surprised. “I think the Captain introduced you as John, no ?”

“Yeah.” Price nodded. “I usually go by John.”

“'Jonathan Price' is still quite the English name.” Nik grinned.

“Yeah because ‘Nikolai’ isn’t a cliche Russian name, is it ?” John elbowed him. “And mind you, 'Price' is Welsh.”

“Yes, but Nikolai is nickname.” 

“Then what’s your real name, Nik ?” Price asked, smirking.

“That’s not the matter, don’t try to change the subject.” He shrugged, laughing a little, eyes dropping back to the weapon in his hands. “Tell me about your on-base conquests.”

“I’ve had four. Some were SAS, some weren’t.”

“Are some still on base ?” Nikolai asked, curious.

“No they’re not.” Price shook his head. “It’s easier this way, about this you were right.”

“What about those outside the military ?”

“I had some, here and there.” John grinned as he worked on his rifle. “Less than you, I suppose.”

“Maybe.” He smirked. 

“Oh now you’re playing shy, russki ?” 

“No, no, Jonathan, I just don’t like comparing.” He chuckled. “Ask me whatever you want, I answer.”

“You can call me John, you know ?” Price reminded him, to which Nikolai only nodded. “Then tell me, what’s your type ?”

A sly smile stretched Nikolai’s lips. “I can’t help it, I like the Russian type: brown hair, blue eyes, light skin and strong personality.” 

“Aren’t Russians mostly blonde ?” 

“Is 50/50. Look: I’m not blonde, yes ? But I’m 100% Russian.”

“I see. And do you find a lot of those in the bars ?”

“Sometimes.” Nik blew air on the gun to remove a few grains of sand. “Sometimes I have to adapt.”

“I’m sure that’s a real pain in the ass.” Price teased with a snort.

“Can be unless I’m too drunk.” Nikolai laughed. “And I’m often too drunk.”

“Now this is getting concerning.”

“No, is how I have fun, Jonathan, and only on the week-ends.”

“Do you do this every week-end, Nik ?” Price laughed, baffled.

“No ! Who do you think I am ?” He chuckled. 

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Once a month, maybe less.”

“That’s twelve different conquests in a year.” Price smirked, finding the situation amusing, finally. “At least, if you’re successful every time.”

“Unfortunately, no.” Nikolai shook his head with a fakely disappointed wince. “I’m an old man now, no more sex-appeal.”

John laughed, shaking his head while he gave his gun a wipe to see what he was doing a little better. They slowly drifted from sex to love and Price felt like this was a sensibly touchier subject; for him of course, but especially for Nikolai. Unsurprisingly, the secrecy in which he kept most of his life also applied to his romantic relationships, and in spite of his open questions and efforts to keep the tone light, it was clear Nikolai wasn’t very keen on disclosing this part of him. In exchange, Price tried to show his understanding by slowly changing the subject again.

“Do you have any family left ?” He asked, thinking that perhaps, this would help him talk a little. It did not.

“No.” Nikolai only said and despite his smile, John knew him enough now to notice how his features tensed slightly. 

“None at all ?” 

“No, Jonathan.” He shrugged, fingers brushing the sand off the rag. 

“I still have most of my family.” Price declared in a quiet voice, undoubtedly pushing his luck. “Or… Well. I have my mother, since I don’t talk much to my father or my brother anymore.” This seemed to work, because Nikolai’s hands slowed and he threw him a curious glance.

“Why ?”

“It’s a long story.” Price shrugged. “My father’s of the old school, he never truly understood why I wanted to join the army. I suppose he was just… Repeating the way his own father treated him after he told him he didn’t want to join the army. As for my brother…” He sighed. “Let’s just say he’s a jerk.”

 The Russian man chuckled a little at the last sentence. “Are they… healthy ? And mentally stable ?”

“Yeah I guess.” John snorted, finding the question funny in multiple ways. “I hope so, at least.”

There was a brief silence only punctuated by the sound of the other men in camp, farther away, then Nikolai talked, his voice muted, his speech slow. “Olenka, my sister, she… She was not very strong, mentally.”

Price kept his mouth shut, afraid to upset him.

“She joined Ashram Shambala. They are a cult, they talk people into disavowing their family and abandoning traditional lifestyle.” Nikolai let out a tired sigh. “They lure vulnerable women by promising them a better life and glorifying their… sexual energy.”

Nikolai spat the last part of the sentence with a disgusted wince. Despite all the questions that this revelation had brought to Price -was she still alive, did he still talk to her, how long ago did she join the cult- he stayed silent this time too, unsure of how uncomfortable Nikolai truly was.

“This was eleven years ago.” He added, as if he had heard Price's thoughts. “I tried changing her mind but she believed this was the way God had wanted her life to be.”

“God ?” Price asked, voice low. “Did the guru pretend he was God's messenger ?”

“I don't know. When I told her this wasn't religion, Olenka stopped talking about Ashram Shambala altogether.” He shrugged and chuckled a little. “She stopped talking to me not long after, too.”

“I'm sorry, Nik.”

“Is okay, don't be. She chose her own path.” He shrugged again.

“Were you born in a religious family ?”

“Orthodox, yes.”

“Practising ?”

“A little.”

“Are you still ?”

“Me, Jonathan?” Nikolai grinned and laughed. “No. Not practising, not even religious.”

“Fair enough.” Price smiled back, feeling the weight on the atmosphere lift. “Me neither.”

“Really ? All those God-saves-the-queens said for nothing, yes ?” He smirked.

John shrugged with a knowing smile. “I suppose.”

It took them another hour to fully clean their weapon clean of sand -quite begrudgingly for Nikolai- during which they drifted to easier, lighter subjects: previous missions, training, music tastes again, favourite food, pets, and travel. Once they were done, and with a good amount of complaining, they lit a fire as the night crept in and chatted while they ate their ration. One hand supporting his weight, the other gesturing with the fork, Nikolai was talking with his head up, eyes glued to the rising stars.

“When you were a child, did you also have an astronomy phase, Jonathan ?” He asked, smiling wide.

“Yeah, you did too ?” John chuckled, stuffing a potato wedge in his mouth.

“Da !” Nikolai laughed, eyes crinkling at the corner. “I think every boy had one.”

“Prolly.” Price nodded as he chewed, then swallowed. “I've noticed your curiosity has stayed the same since that age, Nik.”

“What do you mean ?”

“You ask a lot of questions, that's all.” He smiled. He wanted to add that he found it endearing.  He abstained.

“Eh…” Nikolai grinned, looking at him. “I'm just curious about people. I like to know what made you you : your tastes, the way your mind works. I think is important.”

For a second and for a reason he ignored -tiredness surely- the combination of Nikolai's words and smile made John's heart skip a beat. He laughed it off, shaking his head. 

“Did it ever backfire ?”

“Yeah, sometimes people think I'm trying to worm something out of them and it can go south really fast.”

“I don't doubt it. Ever fought because of that, then ?”

“You ask a lot of questions too, Jonathan.” He snorted, his smile turning smug.

“Eh.” Price mimicked Nikolai and shrugged, which made him laugh.

“No, I never fought because of that. But I earned one or two awkward looks from guys who thought I was flirting, actually.”

“Are you flirting with me, Nik ?” John waggled his eyebrows.

“You wish.” Nikolai chuckled once more, shaking his head.

They chatted a little longer by the fire, talking about books and weather and common hatred for sand, then called it a day and tried to get some sleep before the early morning hours caught up to them.

Chapter Text

When Price had first agreed to go to the bar with Nikolai and his roommates, a few weeks ago now, he had been far from imagining that it would lead to him partying with them almost once a month. He had made more mates in the span of several weeks than he did in twelve years in the military and even if he couldn’t especially call them friends , he could agree that they usually had quite a lot of fun when they were all together. And that evening, in the middle of the Christmas decorations, he could also add that they had a little pain together as well. Or at least, he did.

“Bloody hell…” He giggled drunkenly, rubbing his cheekbone. “C’mere I’ll give you another taste.” 

On the edge of the circle of people that represented the improvised ring, Nikolai was laughing loudly, holding his stomach as he leaned on someone for support, a Christmas tinsel wrapped around his neck like a scarf. As Price raised his guard again, he slowly came closer to the man he was boxing against, studying his footwork and movements to throw -and hopefully land- a good punch. The sound of a door opening made the man turn his head and drop his guard, the opportunity too good to miss. John cocked his fist back and his knuckles violently connected with the soldier’s jaw, sending him reeling back. Price laughed and raised his fist in the air, turning to the door, smile dropping immediately.

“Shit.” He mumbled, licking his lips, trying to think of a way to escape this captain. Stickler for discipline, this one.

“You’re fighting, Lieutenant Price ?” He asked, not amused. 

“We uh… Improvised a little boxing ring, Sir.” He tried to articulate as clearly as possible. 

“Without gloves or wraps, I see.”

Price chuckled a little, knowing it was already too late. 

“Nice punch, though.”

“Thank you, Sir.” He nodded, rubbing his face again now that the adrenaline was gone, pain slowly surfacing. 

“Earned you a nice little 24 hours in solitary confinement. Both of you.” 

John groaned, nodding again. “Yes, Sir.” Something caught his eyes and he turned his head slightly, only then noticing Nikolai was on the verge of bursting out with laughter. He quickly looked away, knowing that with the alcohol, he could only take so much before guffawing stupidly again. 

“Let’s get going.” 

Price nodded and threw a last glance at his mates, only to notice that the Russian had put the tinsel over his eyes like a blindfold, his grin so wide it threatened to tear his face in half, and at this moment, John knew he was gone. The chuckle started scratching his throat and before he could catch it, he was giggling again as he flipped Nikolai off, sure he could see him. The captain abruptly stopped, turning to face him, a menacing expression on his face. 

“Drunk, caught fighting and making fun of a superior officer. This just keeps getting better.”

“Sorry, Sir, I wasn’t making fun of you.” He apologized, unable to reign in his grin. 

“I’ll round that up to 48 hours for you, Price. It should cool your head off.”

John nodded, lowering his gaze, biting his tongue to keep a serious face. “Sir, yes Sir.” 

He carefully avoided looking back this time as he followed the captain. As much as he wanted to keep laughing now, he knew he would regret it as soon as he would sober up.

“How’s your shoulder, Nik ?” Price asked before taking a swig of his pleasantly cold beer. 

“Good.” He smiled, rolling his right shoulder slowly.

“That was a hard fall.”

“Ah I’m okay.” Nikolai smirked. “Is it spending Christmas day with your mother that made you soft, Jonathan ?”

Price raised his eyebrows. “Is it spending Christmas day here that made you suck at hurdles ?”

Nikolai stared at him for a second, dumbfounded, then snorted and elbowed him. “There was an icy patch.”

“Sure, russki.” Price rolled his eyes, teasing. 

“At least am not the one who got a black eye right before going back home for Christmas.”

“Worth it though.” John chuckled and brushed a hand in his hair. “How does it look ?”

“Between purple and green.”

“Good enough to pick someone up tonight ?” He snorted when Nikolai’s head whipped back to him, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Looking to start the year in good company, Jonathan ?”

“Eh.” He shrugged in a now familiar imitation. “I mean, look at them.” He nodded to the crowd in the large room. “All those poor people that have to stay here for New Year’s Eve. Someone has to show them a good time, don’t you think ?”

“Yes, I agree.” Nikolai laughed and took him in meticulously. “And apart from the black eye, you look good.” 

Price glanced down at himself -he couldn’t find his tie so he decided to go for something more on the casual side: he was wearing a deep blue shirt with the first three buttons open, a navy waistcoat, jeans and black boots. He chuckled, looking back up at Nikolai.

“Mind you, the black eye is a fashion accessory.”

“I doubt this is the best public for this.” 

“Yeah…” Price hummed. “Maybe next time you wrap a Christmas tinsel around your neck I'll strangle you with it.” 

“Such a romantic, Jonathan.” Nikolai grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. “Though fighting was not my idea, yes ?”

“Don’t change the subject, russki.”

Nikolai stayed silent, grinning wide and raising his beer with a small, unapologetic shrug. For a second, Price observed him, making a mental note to make fun of his outfit later: he wore a simple, loose white shirt over a pair of leather trousers and boots, the exact image of an old-fashioned Russian in Price’s mind. He shook his head a little and finished his beer in one gulp.

“Refill, Nik ?”

“Da.” He answered, following him to the small kitchen. 

Price found it a little weird that no one was throwing an alternative party in here, given the occasion, but the slightly quieter and cooler space was actually a blessing, both for his ears and overheating body. 

“Up for stronger spirits ?” He asked, taking out two bottles from a cupboard.

“Always.” Nikolai answered, eyes glinting in anticipation.

“I bought rum for a change.” He grinned, uncorking both bottles. “This one’s spiced, the other is a regular Diplomatico.”

“Rum is for spicy evenings, no ?” Nikolai winked, making John roll his eyes with an exaggerated sigh. 

“Perhaps you should find someone to come with you into the new year.” He choked out, trying to muffle his laugh while he poured them each a glass of the spiced rum. “Bottoms up, soldier.”

“ Za vache zdorovie !” Nik nodded, raising his glass and downing it in one go. 

“Help yourself to another one. Catch you later.” Price smiled, heading back to the main room. 

He joined a group of people and their conversation, chatting his way to different people, the alcohol soon making him giddier. He stopped by the kitchen to fill his glass again and when he was back with the people he was talking with, he noticed Nikolai, leaned back against a table, arms crossed, all sweet smiles and kind eyes, chatting with a recruit he didn’t know. He grinned to himself, observing how she looked enthralled, and took his attention back to his own surroundings. By the time his third glass was empty, he was feeling just the right amount of intoxicated, a little more confident and way warmer, his waistcoat now unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up, another button of his shirt popped open. He counted down to the new year with the whole party, cheering and laughing and exchanging ‘ happy new year’ s with everyone, hugging them and clapping their backs. He went out for a smoke, sharing his cuban cigar -brought out for the occasion- with whomever wanted, the chill of the night delightful on his overheated skin.

When he stepped back in, the stifling warmth of the room engulfed him and he headed for the kitchen, hoping to find it empty. By chance, it was; empty, calm and slightly cooler. He leaned back on the counter with a sigh: he was definitely far from a party animal, even with the help of a few drinks. He looked up when he heard footsteps, disappointed to lose his calm bubble so soon, but sighed with relief when he saw it was Nikolai. He noticed his eyes dropping to his open shirt then going back up and the guilty smile that followed. 

“Feeling hot, Jonathan ?” Nikolai chuckled, visibly buzzed too. 

“Yeah.” He grinned.

“No wonder…” He said and John snorted, glad to see Nikolai agreed. “How’s your eye ?” He asked again, stepping closer, touching the dark edge of the bruise.

“Fuck off, Nik.” He laughed, pushing his hand away. “I’m drunk, not in pain.”

“Want me to kiss it better ?” Nikolai grinned wider and it somehow made Price realise how close he was standing.

“Oh shut up.”

“No, really.” 

“You don’t have the balls, russki.” He teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Eh…” Nikolai let out without a shrug, his voice way quieter than usual.

Price was about to chuckle when Nikolai’s lips touched his cheekbone, and suddenly he didn’t feel like laughing anymore. His smirk slowly faded and he eyed the Russian man warily. Nikolai kissed the bruise, still grinning, then his cheek, then the corner of his lips.

“What are you doing, Nik ?” Price swallowed hard, his heart racing. Nikolai was drunk, and he was drunk, and they shouldn’t be doing this anyway. 

“Tell me to stop.” Nikolai rasped, grinning even wider, one hand resting on the counter behind Price, the other holding his jaw. 

Despite all his efforts, John was unable to say anything. Instead, he closed his eyes when Nikolai kissed his lips and inhaled his scent. Shit - he thought when Nikolai moved back a little. They shouldn’t be doing this and especially not here, not when there were men, soldiers, ready to call them all sorts of names and harass them and- 

His train of thought dissolved when Nikolai kissed him again, and this time he put one hand on his chest with the intention of pushing him away. His fingers tensed against body hair and sweaty skin, then slid away. He kissed him back, soft yet desperate, both his hands tight on the edge of the countertop, heart beating hard and fast. Nikolai tasted like spiced rum and nicotine, a heady combination with his mixed smell of perfume and sweat. He mechanically licked his lips when they parted and his eyes immediately went to the door, afraid someone would see them. The kitchen and doorway both still were thankfully empty, bouts of laughter and loud chatting erupting from the other room. Before he had the time to protest, Nikolai was putting a trail of kisses on the side of his face and down his jaw to his pulse point, and Price let out a soft gasp, eyes closing on their own, one hand coming up to tangle in Nikolai’s slicked back hair. 

“Nikolai…” He managed to say, a shiver running down his spine as he felt something deep inside him stir, an unexpected yet undeniable sense of relief washing over him.

“Tell me to stop, Jonathan.” The Russian man whispered against his heated skin. He talked again when no protest came, lips pressed to his ear. “Look at you go, Orpheus…”

“Orpheus..?” John asked, frowning, mind too fuzzy to remember where he last heard this name. 

“Just like Orpheus played music so beautiful it drowned out the siren’s song, you only had to speak in this drunk tone of yours and it made me forget all about the woman I was flirting with tonight.” He murmured, his hand finding Price’s waist underneath the waistcoat and bringing him closer. 

“Wait, Nik…” John hissed before swallowing hard. Regaining his footing proved harder than he thought. 

“Tell me to stop, then.” Nikolai said for the third time, grazing his teeth on the thin skin of Price's neck, which earned him to be grabbed by the jaw and pushed back. He smirked. “Yes, Jonathan ?”

But Price was too far gone to speak. He crashed his lips on his, hands sliding in the leather pants’ back pockets, groping Nikolai shamelessly, almost moaning into the sloppy kiss. Their lips slid against each other, soft and wet and so damn hot it made Price dizzy, tongue shyly exploring, barely caressing, afraid to scare the other away. After a few seconds he suddenly stopped and pushed him away, panting, heart beating fast, hands shaking.

“Stop, Nik.” He breathed hard, eyeing the entrance again. “We shouldn't be doing this. It's the…” He cleared his throat. “I'm sorry, it's the booze. I'm frustrated and it's been a while since I last bedded someone, I'm sorry.”

Nik nodded, short-breathed, his sly smile returning while he brushed his hair back into order and took a step back. “Don’t be sorry, Jonathan.” He chuckled, voice slightly hoarse.

“I think we’re both… desperately lacking intimacy with all the back-to-back overseas operations we were sent on recently and…” He gestured vaguely, laughing to try and hide his embarrassment. “And I’m probably just… really pent up.”

Nikolai hummed and reached for the half empty glass behind Price -which was probably his- and downed it in one go. 

“And I’m not… I mean…” He cleared his throat again, uneasy. “I don’t usually kiss men.” He lied, licking his lips. “You know what, I probably had enough to drink for tonight.”

“Da…” Nikolai said in a low voice, smiling still.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Nik. Or uh… Maybe the day after tomorrow, depending on the hangover.”

“Of course, Jonathan, see you when the hangover’s cured.” He laughed.

Price shook his head a little and went to grab his coat, putting it on before saying goodnight to whoever was left and walking back home, doing his best to forget about what had just happened. The brisk night air helped him cool down, chilling his damp skin quickly and clearing his head a little, and it didn’t take long for him to be back. He let out a sigh as he let his coat down by the door and toed off his boots before heading to the bathroom. The light was too bright, especially after the night walk, and he squinted his eyes as he looked at himself in the mirror, leaning heavily on the sink. His vision swam a little when he unbuttoned the last of his shirt and removed both waistcoat and shirt, and when he unbuckled his belt and opened his jeans, he decided it was safer to sit before trying to remove it. Once seated securely -or almost- he pulled the jeans off, sighed, stood back up and took a few seconds to steady before pushing his underwear down and stepping out of them and into the shower. He leaned on the wall to shower, too lazy to turn off the water when he washed himself, then carefully stepped back out and rubbed himself dry. 

He let the towel fall down on the ground, definitely not caring about it more than the rest of the clothing he had scattered everywhere, drank a few gulps of water in a thoughtful gesture for his future self and headed to the bedroom before crashing down on the bed. He groaned, struggling with the cover for a few seconds, then turned off the light and let his head fall down on the pillow. Despite the alcohol and the tiredness his brain did not want to turn off just yet and he felt himself grow hard instead. He sighed, palming his cock and adjusting its position on his thigh, trying to will it into submission, decidedly too tired -and drunk- to do anything about it. For a brief second, a spark of lust ignited in his belly at the fleeting memory of Nikolai’s kiss and disappeared just as fast in his muddled brain. He turned on his side, adjusting his pillow, and waited for the erection to go away.

When he opened his eyes again, the bright light of a cloudy winter day was pouring in from the window near his bed and it immediately made his head throb. He grunted, cursing himself for forgetting to close the blinds, or at least the curtains, and he threw his arm over his eyes in an attempt to ease the pain. He waited for a moment, trying to fall back asleep, but when he understood it was a lost cause, he grunted again and sat up, checking the time. 11:26. Not too bad. Reluctantly, he grabbed his phone, stood up and went to the bathroom, looking for whatever painkiller he might have. He took one with a large gulp of tap water and splashed his face with the coldest water he could get before crashing in the couch, still completely naked, unbothered to put anything on, his system overheating to get rid of the alcohol anyway. He sighed, glad to have so much skin in contact with the for-now cool fabric, and closed his eyes again.

He reopened them when his phone vibrated on the table and given the time, he noticed he had dozed off a little, the headache significantly better.

14:43

still alive ?

He scoffed.

14:44

You'll need more than a few drinks to kill me, russki.

14:44

daniel is orga izing an afternoon snack

14:44

in the break room

14:45

An afternoon snack ? You mean raiding the vending machines ?

14:45

Y E S

Price laughed at the last message, not moving from the couch, basking in the cool afternoon. His phone buzzed again.

14:51

u coming ?

14:52

No

14:52

??

14:52

Too tired and hungovwr I need silence

14:52

we ll be silent

14:53

Highly doubt it

14:53

>Picture

promise

Price opened the picture and snorted, scratching his shoulder as he observed every little detail: taken from Nikolai's point of view -he had his feet on the table, which was already a bad start- both men were flipping each other off, Daniel's face looking clammy, dark circles under his eyes, sitting so deep in the opposite couch he almost looked like a part of it. He watched closer and it seemed like both men were still in their outfit from the night before.

14:54

Have you slept at all ?

14:54

sort of 

14:55

You need the key of the vending machine, that's why you need me ?

14:55

please

14:55

Just come and get it

14:55

i can ??

The question suddenly reminded Price about their little accident of the previous night, and he realised he did not actually want to be alone with Nikolai just yet, especially not here. He grumbled something and sat up.

14:56

I’ll be here in a minute

14:56

thnak you

He dressed in a loose fitting pair of sweatpants, tee-shirt and hoodie, drank a glass of cold water and headed out. The base was eerily calm, though it was to be expected on 1st January, and he walked fast to the SAS break room, soon reaching it, glad to find it not overly warm. 

“Ah, Jonathan !” Nikolai greeted, making Daniel groan.

“Your saviour has arrived, boys.” He chuckled.

“Won’t the saviour whisper ?” Daniel whined, holding his head in his hands.

“What does the Daniel want from the vending machines ?” Price whispered in an amused voice.

“Whatever has the most electrolytes please.” 

“What about you, Nik ?”

“Black coffee and a waffle, please.” 

John nodded and took everything, leaving all but his own drink and snack on the table next to the vending machines. He snorted when he saw Nikolai’s puzzled face. 

“I paid, don’t expect me to serve you too.”

“No no, the army paid, not you.” He grinned.

“You’d better fetch Daniel’s orange juice before he passes out.”

Daniel grumbled and weakly raised a thumbs-up, visibly done in. Price chuckled and sat next to Nikolai on the worn-out couch, smugly sipping his steaming tea. Nikolai cursed for himself and went to grab what Price had left, then came back, let himself fall down heavily in an exaggerated annoyment act and tore open the package of the waffle, taking a large bite. All this time, John smirked behind his cup of tea, glad to admit that yes, they were indeed silent, the only sounds echoing in the room being Nik’s chewing and the ticking of the old clock above the door. Price sank further into the cushions, relaxing, missing his own couch a little but enjoying this improvised hungover-curing group.

“In the end, did you sleep at all ?” He said, voice low enough not to worsen Daniel’s headache.

“We napped a little, yes.” Nikolai chuckled, turning to face him, elbow on the backrest and right knee bent on the couch, touching Price’s thigh. 

“Really ?” He squinted his eyes, a little suspicious.

“Ten or twelve minutes, maybe.” 

“Oh.” Price chuckled, throwing a quick glance at Daniel who was starting to doze off. “I understand, now.”

“You Englishmen don’t hold your drink very well.” Nikolai shrugged with a laugh.

“Oh shut up, you have been given vodka since birth, russki.” Price snorted, elbowing him gently. “And I hold my drink fine.” 

“Do you ?” Nikolai’s smirk widened. “That’s probably why you crashed in bed and slept like a log, yes ?” His gaze flickered to his lips and back up. “And also-”

“I was tired.” John interrupted, throwing a quick glance at Daniel again. He didn’t want to talk about it and most importantly, he didn’t want anyone to hear about it.

“I understand now why you don’t drink too much. Afraid of ‘overdoing it’, eh ?” Nikolai teased. “Is this what happens every time you have one glass too many ?”

“No.” He grumbled, visibly uneasy. 

“Too bad.” The Russian man hummed, not losing his smile. 

“You never told me you…” Price’s voice died down as he gestured between them two, not wanting to say ‘liked men’ aloud when someone could witness their conversation.

“Ah, perhaps I forgot.” Nikolai shrugged, his smile turning mischievous.

Price snorted. “Surely, that must be it. You’re old now, your memory’s fading.”

“I guess…” Nik hummed again and John suddenly felt naked under his gaze, as if he was devouring him with his stare. He looked away when he felt his face warm up slightly, taking a sip of his tea as a distraction.

“You don’t have lot of scars for someone who spent 12 years in the military, yes ?” Nikolai asked and Price felt immensely grateful for the change of subject.

“I know we don’t look at each other when we shower but come on, Nik, you can’t say this.” He let out a small, sceptical chuckle. 

“You have scratches here and there, sure, but real, big scars ?”

“You’re kidding, right ?” John laughed, removing his hoodie in one swift move and pushing his left sleeve up. “This one’s a scratch ?” He asked, showing him a long, unsightly scar running from the top of the deltoid down to the middle of the bicep. 

Nikolai whistled, wincing a little when Daniel stirred, then spoke in a lower voice. “You’re always on my right in the showers, that’s why I never noticed.”

“Bullshit, you’ve seen me in short sleeves more than once, Nik.” 

“Ah maybe you were right, memory is fading.” He shrugged, grinning wide. “Tell me about one.”

“Which one ?”

“I don’t know, one especially memorable or funny or stupid.”

“Okay.” He shook his head with a small snort then turned his back to Nikolai and pulled the back of his tee-shirt up to his shoulders, showing him the unmistakable, bumpy scar of a bullet on his left side, right above his tenth rib. 

“This one I remember more than I wish I would: the ricochet from a Gyurza. Someone told me where it came from but I don’t remember it. All I knew when I was hit was first: this shit hurts like hell, then: we need to go back to safety and finally: I’ll kill that motherfucker. I was lucky it was only a ricochet because it left me with one shattered and two cracked ribs and a badly torn spleen. Let me tell you the second the effect of the adrenaline stopped I was almost screaming in pain.” Blindly, he reached back and brushed his fingers on it, recognizing its round shape. 

“Medic told me the bullet had split and spread shrapnel in half of my spleen and that he would try his best to put back what was left of the broken rib in its place. I was helicoptered back to the airport and sent right back home, furious not only because I wanted to complete this mission, but also because I wanted the bastard’s hide.”

“Goddamn.” Nikolai’s eyebrows were high on his face. “How long did it take to heal ?”

“Something like three months, I think.” John said, letting his top fall back down and turning to face him again.

“Not fun.” 

“You want a fun one ?” He snorted, thinking of another scar immediately.

“Da.” Nik smiled.

Price reached for the bottom of his sweatpants and pulled up the right leg. He showed Nikolai a jagged scar on the back of his calf. 

“With a few friends, we jumped over a rusty barbed wire fence to shortcut through a field: I miscalculated and impaled myself on the barbed wire.” He chuckled. “And after that, we learnt that the field was not empty, got chased by a bull, jumped the fence again and had to take the long way around.”

Nikolai laughed as quietly as he could, leaning forward to see the scar better. “You were drunk ?” His tone was more a declaration than a question.

“Yes.” He nodded, grinning wide. 

“Drunk nights make best memories.” 

“Do you have one of your own ?”

“Yes !” Nikolai nodded eagerly before unbuttoning his shirt. He took his right arm out of it and raised it above his head. “Here.” 

He pointed to a 10 centimetre scar running down his armpit and Price squinted a little, which elicited a snort from Nikolai.

“I know am hairy but please, Jonathan…”

“I’m sorry but it’s a little difficult to see.” He chuckled. “Tell me its story, come on.”

“To start, I was drunk.” He smiled from ear to ear, his eyes crinkling at the corner, and Price rolled his eyes in a silent ‘of course you were’ . “Don’t laugh just yet but I was dancing shirtless on a table in a bar.”

“God’s sake Nik…” John snorted, rubbing his temple in anticipation of the worse.

“I accidentally kicked my glass and spilled alcohol on the table and I slipped, and I fell on said glass.” He shrugged. “Of course it shattered to pieces and sliced right through me.”

“And you call this funny ?” 

“Was really fun ! Well, until my friend took the shards of glass out and it started gushing blood.”

“Have I told you how much of a cliche you are ?” Price laughed.

“Da.” Nikolai grinned. “Do you want to see another one ?”

“Sure.” Price chuckled, finding this entertaining. “Show me a memorable one.”

The Russian man hummed and thought for a few seconds while he put his shirt back on properly. Then, he started unbuttoning his leather pants and Price’s eyes shot right back up, a slightly panicked glint in them. Nikolai only winked.

“This one is memorable alright.” He said, opening the trousers and carefully pushing his underwear down. 

“Nik if this involves getting butt naked I’d rather you didn’t-”

“Nyet, just wait, Jonathan.” He let out a hearty laugh, one hand over his boxers keeping his package hidden, the other holding the underwear down to show his groin. 

Mechanically, Price looked over to Daniel, nervous about being caught, but the poor guy was still sleeping, mouth agape, his bottle of juice long forgotten on the table. John looked back down at what Nikolai was trying to show him: his hands trying his best to hide himself, the large trail of coarse hair going down from his navel, the very base of his member, the top of his hairy thigh. He forced himself to focus and saw a thick scar starting in the fold of his groin and stretching farther down, hidden by the underwear a little lower. Feeling his cheeks warm up a little, he plunged his eyes into Nikolai’s, waiting for an explanation.

“This one almost killed me, is why is so memorable.”

“Really ?” John whispered, taken aback by the revelation.

“Yeah. I don't remember much of what happened, a bit like you. There was an explosion, booby trapped vehicle or mortar maybe, then I remember my ears ringing, being unable to stand up and being soaked in blood all at once. The whole team was barking orders at each other, my captain came to me, he looked furious at first and worried soon after. I couldn’t understand what he was saying to me but I looked down where he was looking and only then realised I had a piece of metal the size of my palm embedded in my leg. I don't remember much of the rest: lot of noise and vague anger that someone had taken my gun from me, then nothing.”

Nikolai brushed one thumb on the raised skin. “The next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital bed, sluggish and nauseous, and spending an eternity floating in a haze. The next day, when I could finally understand what people were saying again, they told me I had passed out on the way back to camp and they had to botch an emergency surgery there before they could bring me to the nearest hospital. I learnt that the shrapnel had torn through muscle and sinew and punctured my iliac artery.” He chuckled a little. “Doc said I had almost bled dry and I was lucky because severed iliac artery is usually lethal.” 

“Jesus, Nik…” John said, looking back at the scar.

“But I lived. It takes more than this to kill strong Russian soldier.” He grinned.

“How long ago was this ?”

“5 years.”

Price nodded, a stupid idea crossing his mind and he was not quick enough to keep his mouth shut. 

“Want me to kiss it better ?” His eyes widened and he cursed. “No- Fuck, this is not what I meant, bloody hell-” 

Nikolai smirked as he let the waistband of his boxers snap back in place and closed his trousers. “Aren’t you funny, Jonathan..?”

“I’m really tired…” He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and avoiding his eyes. Dumbfuck.

“Mh.” Nikolai hummed, smirk widening.

“I should use the sleep…” He said, then frowned. “Did I just say use the sleep ?”

“You did.” Nikolai laughed.

“Maybe I should just go back to bed once and for all.” He grumbled, internally cursing himself over and over again.

“Nap here like Daniel.” He shrugged with a little laugh. “I’ll keep watch.”

“Don’t need you to, russki.” Price teased, trying to ease off his embarrassment.

“And maybe next time I’ll let you kiss it better, mh ?” Nikolai whispered, one playful eyebrow arched.

“Fuck you.” Priced grumbled, chuckling and opening his own snack.

They were both startled by someone opening the door, in the same state as them if the messy hair and slow gait were any indication. The newcomer stopped by the vending machine then sat with them, careful not to wake Daniel up, soon taking part in their conversation.

Chapter Text

John had noticed that the more time they spent together, the easier it became for Nikolai to open about previously delicate subjects. First it had been the discreet words about Olenka, then the story of a long lost friend, the heartwarming memories of his mother’s cooking and recently the recalling of the injury that almost killed him. That evening, somewhere in Bielorussia, they had started talking about their future: reality, wishes, hopes. Face barely visible under the neck of his winter coat and beanie, Price was warming his hands over the fire, sitting as close to it as he physically could without burning himself in an attempt to fight the cold. 

“You know, there’s a saying about us SAS.” He smiled. “Says that we don’t get to live long, but we get to live well.”

“Yes ? Then how old is the Captain ?” Nikolai asked, in the same position as John.

“I think he’s getting close to 50.”

“Think he’ll die soon ?”

“Nice way to put it, Nik.” He snorted. “I hope he doesn’t.”

“In Russia, people say to be careful around old men in fields in which people die young.”

“I guess it applies to him, then.” He smiled. “Think you’ll die old, Nik ?”

The Russian man stayed silent for a few moments, visibly pondering the question. 

“Nyet.” He finally grinned. “Especially not now that I fly.”

“I’ll get to report brave Yankee-7 K.I.A., then ? Lucky me.” Price laughed. 

“What about you ?” 

“I don’t think I’ll live long either.” He sighed, rubbing his hands together over the fire. “I think I’d like to, though.”

“Why ?”

“Not sure.” He shrugged.

“Want to have lots of grandkids screaming and running around you ?” Nikolai laughed.

“I-” Price closed his mouth, a little confused. He had not thought about this. “Actually I don’t. I’m not even sure I want kids at all.”

“Never imagined having kids either, but goes with not living long, yes ?”

“I guess.” Price chuckled. 

It felt strange to him to consider the question of children. Since he had joined the army, he had never really thought about his life in a different context. Now that he was looking into it, he realised that he had never considered his life and being in the military as two different aspects of him. Being a soldier was not just a part of his life, it was his whole life. Of course, his deteriorating relationship with his family had helped bridge the two together and so did growing apart from his friends, but he thought, somehow, that having a partner would have reminded him of the life he had outside the base. Thinking back on his previous relationships, he discovered it had not. He had dated people, yes, but he had never considered the fact that they might have wanted more than Lieutenant Price . Not that he had been heartless or distant with them, far from it, but all those past relationships had inevitably crumbled under the weight of his commitment to his military life and the emotional toll of constant danger. He remembered -not without a pang of guilt- the times he had had to cut an event short because the army needed him: a birthday night, a romantic week-end in France, a Christmas party. He bit his tongue. Perhaps it was for the best that he did not want children, in the end, if he already proved so ill-adapted to couple life.

“Jonathan.” Nikolai started, his voice barely above a whisper, startling him slightly. “You’ve gone silent.”

“Sorry.” Price smiled softly.

“Have you ever…” He continued, not reacting to Price’s apology. John looked at him, at the flames reflecting in his unusually uncertain eyes and at the hand he raised in vain to his covered neck in an automatic gesture, one he recognized as a nervous stim: playing with his gold chain. “Have you ever wanted something so much that it hurt ?”

John frowned a little. His mind jumped to the memory of their kiss and he pushed it away, trying not to let his heart race. The next memory to appear in his head was one with his brother, when they were much younger, then one taking the form of a young woman’s face contorted in pain and anguish, covered in tears. He swallowed, unsure of what to respond, and observed the glowing embers underneath the pile of wood. He opened his mouth and spoke softly, as if not to scare him.

“I have, Nik. I…” He closed his mouth again, hesitant. What was Nikolai even meaning ? It felt so odd to see him like this, without his usual bravado and smirk. Disconcerted but not wanting to let his chance of revealing another side of the Russian man slip away, he chose to pry a little further. “Have you ?”

Nikolai peeled his eyes from the fire and looked at him over the flames. “All the time.”

The answer stunned him. This was clearly not what he had expected from him. He glanced into his right eye briefly, then back into the left, at a loss for words. Even when opening up to him and being vulnerable, Nikolai still had this intimidating aura. Leaning over the fire, its orange light casting shadows on his face, looking at him through his dark eyelashes, Nikolai could have appeared menacing to anyone else. But John knew him: he saw the kindness and doubt in his deep brown eyes; he knew to translate the stubble into tiredness; he noticed the strands of longer and longer black hair peeking from under his beanie. He swallowed again, his exhale turning into condensation in the freezing air.

“Do you want to talk about it ?” He tried.

“I…” Nikolai held his breath, then lowered his head while he shook it and exhaled a soft chuckle. “No. Forget it, Jonathan.”

Price nodded, the tension alleviating at the cost of the intimate moment. Uncertainty had vanished and back was the Nikolai everyone knew, all smiles and jokes. He wasn’t sure why, but knowing that the mask was back on made his heart clench; perhaps because he felt that the glimpses he caught of the man underneath were rare and precious, or perhaps because he knew, deep down, that the mask not only protected Nikolai’s feelings, but his too. 

“Sure.” He simply said even though he yearned to delve deeper into his mind.

Once more, Nik was already back on their usual banter and John decided to join in, letting the comforting familiarity fall on them and hide the unspoken words between them. Another time, maybe, he would find the courage to breach through the walls they had both built around themselves.

“Find her a name yet ?” Price asked, arms crossed as he leaned back on the table.

“A name, Jonathan ?” Nikolai laughed from the roof of the helicopter. “Who names their chopper ?”

“All the pilots I know, russki.” He grinned.

“And then we call Russians ‘savages’ , eh ?” He shook his head, slipped the torque wrench he was using in his belt and climbed down the ladder. “Do you Englishmen also put your dick in the exhaust duct while calling it Suzy or something?”

“Bloody hell Nik.” Price snorted. 

“I don’t know !” He threw his hands in the air with an overly shocked expression, barely hiding his smile. “I’m not naming it.”

“You sure ?” 

Nikolai grabbed a rag to wipe his hands. “What would you name it ?”

“Do I look like a pilot ?” He laughed.

“No but you come here with all your Bravo 0-6 flair asking if I named it so I thought you’d know.” He teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I don’t know, should it be like Tatiana or Natasha or something like Thunder Phoenix ?”

“ Thunder Phoenix ?” Price bit his lip to hold in a laugh.

“Ah damn it.” Nikolai grumbled, throwing the rag back on the table with a snort. “I’m not naming it.” 

Price only shrugged, still smiling. No doubt people would find his helicopter a name, sooner or later. 

“Did you need something at all ?” 

“Nah, just wanted to check on you.” He shrugged. 

“Miss me ?” Nikolai waggled his eyebrows.

“You wish.” Price laughed. “What am I supposed to do now ? Both Mac and you are off the board, the operations get boring fast.”

He kept his mouth shut, but deep down, Price missed their missions together more than he cared to admit. He missed the camaraderie, he missed the tough times, he missed the intimate conversations. He missed him . He understood why he was deployed with several different teams: he was an excellent pilot and a powerful asset, capable of manoeuvering and landing in the worst conditions. But understanding it did not help soothe the ache in Price’s heart. 

“I heard of Simon Riley, the other day.”

John nodded. “Yeah, me too. Promising sergeant that wants in.”

“He’s going through the selection process already, no ? Think he’s tough enough ?” Nik leaned back on the table right next to him, their shoulders brushing.

“Yeah.” He nodded once more, smile faltering. “I heard the kid’s traumatised and violent.”

“Mh ?” Nikolai raised an eyebrow. “Because we aren’t ?”

Price chuckled a little, looking away. “Fuck you, Nik.” 

Here too, he was right: John had his share of traumatic experiences and from the slivers of the real Nikolai he had seen, he knew the Russian probably had his too. He recognized in him the same reticence he felt when he had disclosed he liked men and saw the way his jovial expressions tended to fade in the slightest when he thought no one was looking. 

“I think he’ll do. I’ve never seen him but apparently he’s all muscles and precision.” He added.

“Marksman maybe ?” Nikolai crossed his arms too and now they touched from shoulder to elbow.

“Maybe.” 

“You look tired.” 

Price raised his eyebrows, facing him, surprise written all over his features. “Is it the air at 2000 metres that makes you soppy ?”

“I care for you and here’s how you repay me ?”

“Caring for me by saying I look tired ?” He snorted, observing Nikolai. “How nice.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Jonathan.” He shook his head with a fake disappointed look.

“Your hair’s getting long.” John smiled, daring enough to take a strand of dark hair and brush it all the way down its length to his armpit.

“You like it ?” Nik asked, taking one of his locks in his own fingers and looking down at it. “Should I cut it ?”

“Your choice, russki.” Price said, ignoring the first question and the warm feeling it had created in his chest. He took back his hand and crossed his arms again. 

“You’ve grown your beard again, I noticed.” Nikolai turned on his feet to face him.

“You do have eyes, then.” Price teased.

“Weird way of shaping it, though.” Nikolai laughed, leaning closer.

“And then he’ll say he cares for me.” Price grumbled with a snort, feeling the atmosphere change and trying to defuse it. “It’s called mutton chops .”

“A chance it suits you so well.” He said, voice a little lower. 

“Thank you.” John looked away in embarrassment, his face becoming hotter by the second. 

“My pleasure.” 

Price cleared his throat. “Where are you headed next in this beast ?” From the corner of his eyes, he saw Nikolai straighten a little.

“Don’t know yet.” He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Probably where you’re headed next.”

John chuckled. “Good to know.” Then, after a short silence, he pushed his luck. “Makes me feel safer.” 

Nikolai winked in response and Price wondered why he even tried being the smarter one at all. 

“I’ll see you soon then ?” He asked, pushing from the table and nodding.

“Yes, see you soon, Jonathan.”

Despite his efforts not to think about their chemistry and for the first time, Price’s attempts to distract himself from Nikolai all failed miserably. Worse, after pushing the arousal away for hours, it was all he could think about when he fucked his fist that night, fast and feverish, soft moans spilling from his lips and arm thrown over his eyes in an attempt to dampen the reality he wished to ignore. After he had calmed down and showered away the lingering sensations, and once he lay in bed with more coherent thoughts, it became painfully evident that he could no longer ignore what he felt: each casually kind word from Nikolai ignited warmth in his chest and hell, his presence even accompanied him as he brought himself to release now. It was clear he had to make a choice: either confront the truth or risk losing Nikolai to the weight of the silence growing between them.

As if some malevolent force had heard his thoughts that night, Nikolai had been given more and more missions away from Price’s team and the time they used to spend together had melted away like snow in the spring sun that was currently rising. Two months had passed since that cold evening in Bielorussia -their last mission together on the ground- and the closeness they had shared had now become a distance that kept growing wider with every week. Military assignments pulled them in separate directions and the only words they shared, the rare time they crossed paths, had become more logistical than personal, stretching the bond they had started to create thinner and thinner. 

Price had gradually stopped going to the parties thrown on base, knowing the only thing waiting for him there was the disappointment of not seeing Nikolai, and he found himself yearning for his quiet strength and smiles and laughter and easy banter, especially when he was alone at home. When deployed, it was the unshared moments and the missed opportunities that weighed on his mind, as if simmering beneath the surface and waiting for the right amount of chaos to break through.

He sighed, zipping up his jacket to fight the still chilly temperatures of late March mornings. Nikolai was mostly sent on clandestine operations now, more often than not by night, which had reduced the times they met on base almost to none. Price’s team was bound to leave soon and as they were taking down the camp, he couldn’t help but wonder if Nikolai would be on base when they would arrive. 

He wasn’t surprised to learn that he wasn’t, and when they landed he mechanically went to finish his duty, trying his best -and failing- to ignore the dull longing that had bloomed in his chest. What surprised him, though, was the man that entered his office without knocking half an hour later. 

“I thought discipline was your strong suit, Riley.” He grunted, annoyed.

“Sorry, Sir.” The burly masked man said, walking to the desk and standing at ease. “Captain MacMillan has requested your immediate presence in the armoury, Sir.”

“Only mine ?” Price asked, frowning. 

“No, Sir, the rest of the team is already there.”

“Urgent matter if I see one.” John stood up and walked past Simon, trusting he would follow close behind. 

“Affirmative, Lieutenant.” 

They hurried to the armoury, where the rest of his usual team was grouped, the captain standing next to them. Riley went back next to the team to prepare and Price looked at MacMillan, confused.

“Gear up, Price.” He simply said. “Take-off in ten.”

Despite curiosity burning his tongue, John’s brain was too well-wired to disobey in such a situation and he immediately started putting on his usual gear. They quickly hopped in the helicopter, then in the C-130 where Price finally had a second to ask questions. 

“Mind briefing me, Captain ?” He joked lightly while he strapped his parachute on.

“We’re headed to Latvia, Echo 1-7 is compromised.”

It took John a second to register what MacMillan had said and when his brain finally digested the information, a cold shiver ran down his spine. Echo team was the one Nikolai was currently deployed with.

“How compromised ?” He asked, relying on his self-control not to appear too worried.

“They’re neck-deep in it, Lieutenant.” The captain declared in a serious tone. “We’ve lost part of the comms and there’s a high chance of Echo 1-4 being K.I.A.” 

Price nodded slowly, adjusting his gloves nervously. “No sign that Yankee-7 could have already exfiltrated part of the team ?”

“No radar signal that he did, at least.”

John snorted at the remark, shaking his head: Nikolai was the best to fly under the radar and for once, it was a curse. On a more positive point, it meant that he could have left the warzone already.

“Alright.” He nodded again, finally sitting and crossing his arms to steady himself. 

“Nap if you can, boys, this will be a long night.” MacMillan said to all, almost shouting to cover the loud rumbling of the plane. 

“Sir, yes Sir.” They responded in unison.

Almost 1800 kilometres and three hours later, they were ready to be dropped. The luminosity of infrared light inside the compartment almost blinded him when he put his night vision goggles on after spending the whole flight in darkness and he cursed under his breath. Slowly, the cargo bay door opened and the whistling of wind filled the plane. 

“Everyone is switched to Echo 1-7 channel.” He heard the captain’s voice in his earpiece. “Dropping in two.” 

Price nodded and watched the yellow lights coming from villages go by, far below, the only thing he could make out of the landscape. They became scarcer and scarcer, until almost none could be seen.

“Go, go, go.” MacMillan gestured towards the wide open door and the first men started jumping. 

John followed soon after, the manoeuvres almost instinctive after years of repeating them, the free-fall still as exhilarating as the first time. He landed, discarded the parachute, checked his compass and headed to the objective. He knew these missions were precise and required the utmost self-control, but in spite of it all, Price wanted to rush headlong. Every minute was a matter of life and death and he was experienced enough to know that this was true for the people they were looking for, but also for themselves. The last thing he wanted was to fall into a trap or worse, bust the whole operation and get everyone killed. He reached the first signs of civilization after what seemed like an eternity of progressing in the dark and immediately focused back on the mission. He licked his lips and slightly adjusted his throat microphone. 

“Bravo 0-6 to Echo team, do you copy ?”

He waited a few seconds but no answer came. He repeated the call, unsuccessfully, and started pushing forward again. Some parts of the small town -or what was left of it- had been reduced to rubble, houses threatening to collapse, pavement destroyed.

“Alpha 6 this is Bravo 0-6, was the zone bombed ?”

“Negative Bravo 0-6, out.” 

Price groaned for himself. Something had obviously happened here and they would have better chances of surviving and finding the other team if they knew, but there was nothing he could do if the captain chose to remain silent. He knew that this way of cutting the conversation short was a trick to avoid saying he didn’t know what had happened, yet for once it didn’t sit right with him. He huffed out a little grunt and kept progressing carefully. Little by little, he found the other members of the team and soon they were all here, with no sign yet of the Echo team. As they went farther they started discovering bodies, shot or suffocated under the debris, anxiety gripping Price’s gut each time they found a new one and only releasing its claws when it proved to be a local and not an Echo team member. Not Nikolai. It wasn’t before they had combed through half the town that they recognized a corpse. 

“This is Echo 1-4.” MacMillan declared, voice tight. “Keep pushing boys. We go home with everyone or we don’t.”

With half of the team Price moved forward, staying alert and focused, grounded by the sound of his blood pumping steadily in his ears. He refused to admit that he was far less comfortable than usual, refused to acknowledge the clenching of his jaw or the stiffness of his shoulders. As they progressed through the shadows, they noticed a brighter area further away, what was probably a fire making light flicker on the nearby walls, and decided to go in this direction. In one of the crumbling houses, they fell upon another grim vision: Echo 1-2, face down in a pool of her own blood. They checked if she was alive, more out of habit and duty than hope, and they weren’t surprised to find out she had passed. 

“Bravo 0-6 to Alpha 6, reporting Echo 1-2 K.I.A.”

“Rodger.”

With another weight on their mind, the men continued their search for survivors, through rubble and barely settled dust, Price’s worry growing with every minute that passed. As they came closer to the source of light they had seen earlier, it became more and more evident that it was not a campfire; something was burning. The idea alone nagged at Price, unpleasant waves of fear creeping up his neck every time they opened a door. When they exited yet another destroyed building, the acrid smell of burning plastic engulfed them and a distant part of John’s brain went into full panic. He coughed a little and forced himself to stay focused as they went to clear one of the last buildings before they could reach the fire. 

“Thank God…”

The voice came from a man sitting on the ground, his features torn between smiling and wincing in pain. As they rushed in, they noticed two other men with him, visibly unconscious.

“Are you alright, soldier ?” Price crouched next to him and inspected him quickly, not missing the fresh blood on the hand the man had pressed to his abdomen. 

“Better now you’re here.” He grunted. 

“Are they alright ?” He nodded to the other men while he grabbed a bandaging strip from one of his pockets. 

“Passed out.”

Price nodded. “Bravo 0-6 to Alpha 6, reporting Echo 1-3, 1-5 and 1-6 alive.”

“Rodger Bravo 0-6, info location.”

“Someone inform the captain.” He ordered, not wasting any time to bandage the man’s wound tightly. “Today’s your lucky day, eh ?”

“Is it ?” The man said through gritted teeth. 

“You probably know it already, but we found the bodies of 1-4 and 1-2.”

“I figured.” He nodded. “What about Yankee-7 ? Is he alive ?”

“Still M.I.A.” 

“What..?” The man looked at him, visibly confused. “He made it out of the chopper ?”

“What do you mean ?” Price urged, dread filling him up now that the dots were connecting all at once. 

“He took a rocket, didn’t you-”

Price didn’t hear the end of his sentence. Not because his heart was beating so hard it threatened to break his ribs, but because he was already on his feet and out. He ran through the debris, panic wrapping its claws around his heart when he recognized the rudder of the Black Hawk. That was what was burning. He didn’t let it out of his sight as he kept going towards it, staring at the shattered tail rotor and up the tail boom until his eyes fell on the burst open fuselage and blazing cockpit. Words crackled in his earpiece but he barely heard them as he let go of his rifle, pushed his night-vision goggles up and jumped into the gaping hole in the metal, frantically looking for Nikolai.

The kerosene fumes made his head spin and the heat of the fire barely allowed him to look through the helicopter, but he still managed to find a bloody rag and what he believed were bloody marks scattered about -hard to tell with fire being the only light source. He jumped back out, desperately looking for blood, footprints or any sign that could guide him to Nikolai. Instinctively, he went for the closest building; what looked like an old storefront, aware of how precious each second was. He ducked down mechanically when he heard distant shooting and soon after the all-too-recognizable sound of a mortar round being fired. His eyes widened and he was suddenly reminded of where he was and what he had just done. Reckless. He cursed under his breath and entered the building, rifle in hand. Stupid. He searched the two small rooms and moved to the next building as soon as he was sure Nikolai wasn’t in there. Blood rushed into his ears and he didn’t even register the call in his earpiece when he burst into the tiny crumbling house. They were being fired at and the mortar round would be on them quickly and Nikolai was still missing and he had gone alone. Irresponsible. 

Price opened a door hurriedly on a decrepit bathroom, inspecting it quickly before turning around to leave. He caught something from the corner of his eye and squinted, facing inside the bathroom once more and pausing at the door. He swallowed, hoping he hadn’t walked right into a trap, and stepped carefully to the cracked bathtub. A cold shiver ran down his spine when he noticed a dark imprint of fingers on the edge and he pushed the dusty curtain open without thinking. 

“Bloody hell...” He grunted right before an explosion shook the already fragilized walls, pieces of cement and dust falling from the cracked ceiling. 

In the bathtub, covered in blood and dirt, lay Nikolai; eyes closed, mouth agape, hands on the rifle on his chest. Price immediately kneeled and grabbed his shoulders to shake him vigorously, wishing he had removed his gloves to feel if he was warm. Nikolai groaned softly and his whole body started shaking, his eyes moving under his eyelids before slowly opening. John resisted the urge to throw himself at him in relief.

“Nikolai, can you hear me ?” 

“Da-” He croaked before coughing violently and sitting up laboriously. He winced in pain, one hand reflexively pressing on a wound John couldn’t see. 

“We need to get you out of here.”

“What about-” He coughed again. “...Echo team ?”

“Lost two.” Price only said before finally registering the words repeated in his ears and responding. “Alpha 6 this is Bravo 0-6, reporting Yankee-7 alive.” 

“For the love of God I thought you were dead !” Came MacMillan’s angry voice. “Join the rest of the team quickly, we’re under the fire.”

“Rodger Alpha 6.” John winced. “Let’s go, we’re not safe here.”

He grabbed Nikolai’s arms and helped him on his feet, not liking at all the pained groans he could hardly keep in his throat. 

“I think I won’t be of any help, Jonathan.” Nik huffed out, out of breath and pale as he held his hands in front of him, showing how hard he was trembling.

“Your body’s in shock, you’re not dying.” He said, patting his shoulder and turning, ready to leave and help the first team. 

“Ah, I know am not dying. I said am useless like this.” Nikolai grinned, but it was so tainted by pain it barely lifted John’s spirits.

“Come on, Nik, let’s get us safe.” He tried smiling and failed.

Nikolai nodded and put one arm around his shoulders, Price supporting his weight as much as he could as they carefully headed back to the house he left half of his team and what remained of Echo team in. They hobbled together, alert and tense, watching every corner, every move on their way. Price noticed a burning house away from their path and immediately recognized the devastation of the mortar round; they were lucky the strike hadn’t landed on their team. They pushed the door of the small house and Nikolai almost made them both fall when he tripped on debris.

“Fuck me if this isn’t Sky-Blender !” Echo 1-4’s voice rang loud even if strained still. 

“ Sky-Blender ?” Price looked at Nikolai’s clammy face, amused.

“Himself.” Nik nodded, smiling through gritted teeth.

John noticed the other two men were awake, clearly in bad condition, at least as pale if not paler than Nikolai. He let go of the Russian man and helped him lean back on a wall. 

“Bravo 0-6 to Alpha 6, Yankee-7 is back with Echo team. Ready to move.”

“Rodger Bravo 0-6.” MacMillan sounded out of breath, gunshots echoing in the distance. “Regroup at the separation point.”

Price nodded, listening to the rest of the instructions -location, assailants, status- before repeating everything to the men with him and getting ready to move. They were clearly disadvantaged, with more than half of the men wounded, and the path to the point the captain wanted them to rally would probably be teeming with whoever they were fighting. Right before they stepped out, Nikolai called him.

“Can you walk on your own, Nik ?” Price asked, worry written all over his face. 

“Da, is not why I called you.” Nikolai nodded, one hand disappearing in his trousers pocket and fishing for something. “Here.” He said, taking something out of it and holding it between two fingers. “.40 cal hollow point, 150gr.”

“What the hell do you want me to do with that ?” Price snorted, taking the bullet. 

“Is your favourite, no ?” Nikolai grinned.

“My magazine is full, Nik.” John smiled as he shook his head and deliberately ignored the warmth Nikolai had created in the pit of his stomach with only a few words. 

“We never know. “ He shrugged, immediately wincing in pain. 

“Come on, let’s go.” John said hurriedly when he saw him wince, focusing back on the mission as he pulled the goggles down.

The whole team went out, setting a slow pace, torn between the need for caution and the urge for haste as they walked back to the rallying point. Despite leading the others, Price could hear the injured ones limping behind him and deep down, he hoped he could bring them all home. 

“Stay low.” He ordered, ears straining not to miss anything. 

They safely reached the place where they had found Echo 1-2 earlier, and added her weight to their procession, both physically and mentally as gunfire echoed further down the town, a sense of urgency gripping Price’s gut and forcing him to move faster. It only took a few minutes for them to catch the first glimpses of muzzle flash, violently contrasting against the dark veil of the night. He raised his closed fist to make the team halt as he treaded quietly forward, slowing his breathing. He knelt behind what remained of a crumbled wall, slotting his rifle in a crack and steadying his hands. Through the night vision lenses, he spotted two men, clearly not on their side, walking cautiously away from him. He held his breath for one, two seconds, then pulled the trigger twice. The men collapsed and shouts echoed in the distance, confirming Price he had inevitably revealed their position. He moved his hand to signal the men to start progressing in line and they moved forward quietly, ears open and eyes up. 

Price’s heart thumped hard, the sound of blood rushing in his eardrums deafening when he needed silence. The familiar prickle of adrenaline on his skin heightened his sense while helping him stay focused, a welcome blessing. The boomph of a mortar going off made the blood freeze in his veins and he immediately looked up and around them, trying to catch the faint light of the propellant burning on the rear of the shell to locate it before it disappeared. If it was headed their way, they needed to leave, and fast. He made another turn on himself, gazing up, desperate to find it, and finally caught it soaring on his left. 

“Alpha 6, mortar round coming from the northeast.” He said as quietly as he could.

“We’re on them Bravo 0-6.” MacMillan’s voice was barely audible, the mic crackling and saturating with the ambient noise. “Exfill’s on the way.”

Price’s eyebrows shot up, panic gripping his stomach. “Negative Alpha 6, they have RPGs.” 

“Not for lon-” The communication was cut by static, then restored. “-on them.”

John let out a sigh, forcing his heart to slow down. “Need reinforcement ?”

“Negative.” 

“Rodg’.”

He signalled the team to continue marching and they made a detour, going through ruins and destroyed houses to avoid the impact area of the mortar. Just as they went out yet another building reduced to rubble, a loud crash echoed through the air, the night sky illuminating with the explosion as the shockwave reverberated through the ground and filled the air with dust. Price covered his eyes, letting the wind die before he glimpsed at the explosion zone and cursed. Barely 300 meters away, way too close. He turned to the men he was leading and checked in on them, making sure everyone was alright or, well, not worse off than before. He ignored how bad Nikolai’s condition had seemed to deteriorate, trusting him to warn them if he couldn’t go further, and set the whole team back on their tracks. 

The area was eerily quiet now, the only sounds being the crackling of the mortar fire and their laborious steps and groans of pain. They reached the rallying point first, which sent another wave of uneasiness down Price’s spine, and stayed hidden, not letting their guard down just yet. John closed his eyes with a relieved sigh when he recognized the roar of helicopter blades in the distance. Better yet, the other half of the team was in sight and with minimal damage, from what Price could see. 

“Echo team this is Yankee-2, ETA 2 minutes.”

This was the best communication Price had heard all night, and given the other’s expressions, it was theirs too. With them, they carried Echo 1-4’s body and they put it down gently next to Echo 1-2’s, the mood turning gloomy again. No, it never got easier. They stayed mostly silent during the helicopter ride back to the aerodrome, and didn’t talk much either on the home flight. Finally, they landed home when the first light of day started illuminating the sky and John had already switched to automatic mode, his brain listing what he had to do before going to bed. He snapped out of it immediately when Nikolai stumbled out of the helicopter, his legs almost giving away under his weight. 

“You okay there Nik ?” He asked, stepping closer and patting his shoulder. 

“Da…” He answered, breath short, and looked up at Price with a weak smile.

“Jesus…” John’s heart clenched. Nikolai was even paler than before, his skin damp with sweat and his body shaking from head to toe. His eyes slid down to the hand he had still pressed against his side and he winced in horror when he noticed Nikolai’s glove was drenched in fresh blood and under it, his tactical gear bore a large, dark stain. 

“How long have you been bleeding like this ?” He asked, more for himself than to Nikolai.

“Am okay, Jonathan.” He declared, voice shaky. “Only need a few stitches.”

“Like hell you’re okay.” He shook his head and took his arm, supporting his weight as much as he could. 

A dull panic was spreading in his chest as his tired brain tried to calculate how long it had been since he had found him in that bathtub. He wished he had checked his well-being earlier and wondered to what extent Nikolai was really injured. The walk to the infirmary seemed to stretch into long, tedious minutes, each second more dreadful than the last, the Russian man’s breathing growing shorter and shorter. 

Price barged into the building and he didn’t even have the time to call for help that a nurse was at his side, guiding him and helping him with Nikolai. She opened the door to the closest examination room and helped him sit on the table before running out to fetch a medical officer. John removed Nikolai’s arm from his shoulder gently and let his own hand slip from under his armpit, his eyebrows knitting together yet again when he noticed his palm was covered in blood.

“Bloody hell russki what happened to you ?” He asked, watching him carefully, afraid he’d pass out. 

He let a long breath out when the medic arrived and immediately started examining Nikolai. She cut open every layer she encountered, her frown deepening each time she uncovered a larger blood stain underneath the previous one.

“Care to tell me what happened ?” She asked in a calm voice. 

“My Black Hawk took a rocket.” Nikolai just said, shrugging a little and immediately groaning in pain.

“How long ago ?”

“No idea.”

“Minimum 4 hours ago.” John intervened.

She hummed quietly, then grimaced as she peeled open his undershirt. A large gash tore deep into Nikolai’s skin, from the side of his pectoral to his front, peppered with multiple smaller cuts around it. 

“Don’t we teach you in school not to remove the object that stabbed you ?” She teased.

“Was not stabbed.” Nikolai tried laughing. “Was impaled.”

John’s breath caught in his throat. Impaled ? Dumb bastard could have died and he had stayed silent all this time. 

“There’s still a lot of tiny pieces of shrapnel in your skin we’ll need to remove.” She sighed and removed her gloves. “Lie down.”

“ Chto ?” Nikolai asked, raising a trembling hand.

“You need to be operated on.” 

“But is only a cut…” He protested. 

“Don’t make me sedate you already.” She warned, pushing him on his back and forcing him to lie down. “You suffered severe blood loss and for all I know you could have several organs punctured, not to mention broken bones, yeah ?”

John watched as she pulled up the safety rails and started manoeuvring the bed out of the room. 

“Do you need medical assistance too ?” She asked, pointing at his bloodied hand.

“No, no I don’t.”

“Good. Thank you for bringing him in, Lieutenant.”

Price only nodded, at a loss for words, and stood there, arms at his side as if in a daze. He snapped out of it when a pager went off and he shook his head, his brain back into end of operation mode. First, he went to the captain for a belated one-on-one debrief, then he gave back his weapons and ammunition -only noticing then that he had lost his gloves- and finally headed back home. With the adrenaline out of his system, tiredness was starting to take over him, bone-deep and numbing, both his brain and body ready for a well-deserved break. 

With a heavy sigh, he undressed and took a shower before disinfecting the new scratches he discovered and closing the blinds. He caught a glimpse of the time, winced and fell into bed, muscles relaxing and mind shutting off almost immediately. He woke up a few hours later, in the middle of the afternoon, and stared into the darkness for a little while, the night replaying in his head. He realised he didn’t even have a grateful word for his team or for their pilot when they came back, nor did he ask about civilian casualties or potential threat. He blinked a few times and rubbed his face, sore muscles protesting. Damn good lieutenant he had been, that’s for sure. His phone buzzed, he answered it without looking.

“Hello ?”

“Taking a day off, Price ?” MacMillan teased, a hint of amusement in his voice.

John checked the time, then noticed the two missed calls he had -from the captain.

“Shit- Sorry, Captain, I’ll be here in a minute.” He said, sitting up and pushing the covers off him hurriedly.

“Relax, John, I’m kidding you.” He laughed. 

“No, no you’re right. I have work to do.” He said, rummaging in his chest of drawers for underwear and socks, heart racing.

“We all worked double shifts yesterday, Lieutenant, I cleared your schedule for today.”

Price stopped in his tracks, taken aback. “You did ?”

“I know what to expect from my men, and being at work at 7 when we’ve gone to bed at 7 isn’t in that list.”

John snorted at this. “Fair enough, I guess.” 

“I saw you leave with Nikolai. How is he ?”

“I have no idea, Captain. He had to undergo surgery.”

There was a short silence, then a hum. “Keep me updated when you have more info.”

“Will do.”

“See you tomorrow, John.”

“See you Mac.” 

He hung up and threw the phone on the bed with a sigh. Now that he was up and wide awake, he might as well just go on with his day. He adjusted his underwear properly and put on the socks he had in hand before grabbing a tee shirt and pair of black fatigues. He pulled his hoodie on, slid his phone in his pocket and went back to the entrance, where he had left all his tactical gear haphazardly on the floor. He quickly folded what could be folded, then went to the bathroom where the rest of his clothing was, made sure the pockets were empty and folded those too. His fingers touched something small and cylindrical in the trousers’ pocket and he fished it out, smiling when he saw the bullet Nikolai had given him. ‘Is your favourite’ he had said. Price slid it in his pocket as a token of- 

He interrupted his train of thought. He ignored the warm feeling in his chest as he finished folding everything up and put everything together neatly by the door to throw in the wash later. With the rest of the day free, he went to the gym and exercised for a couple hours in hopes to tire his body enough to sleep during the night and avoid shifting his sleep cycle. Then, he took a shower, grabbed a bite to eat and headed back home with the idea of finishing a book before going to bed, which he did. 

After a moderately restful night -two back-to-back 8 hour naps weren’t usually his forte- he slipped right back into base life and routine. He did the first training sessions, then some paperwork, then went to the shooting range. After a quick meal at the mess, he headed to the medical facility to inquire about Nikolai and felt relieved to learn he was awake, resting and in good enough shape to have visitors. Price knocked on the door before walking in and was greeted with a grumpy Russian.

“Glad to see you’re okay, russki.” He grinned as he stepped closer to the bed. Nikolai’s eyes darted up to him, eyebrows high on his face with surprise.

“Ah, Jonathan.” He smiled weakly still. “I miss Russian food.”

“What, is this disgusting ?” He snorted, eyeing his plate. Mashed potatoes and minced beef. “Doesn’t look too bad.”

“English food is disgusting.” He corrected with a tiny chuckle. “And this even more.”

Price shook his head, smiling, only then noticing Nikolai’s left arm was in a sling. He crossed his arms and nodded to it. “How do you feel ?”

“Fine.” He shrugged and regretted it immediately, swearing in Russian. 

“Your arm’s broken ?” John said quietly, knowing the answer already.

“Humerus, yes.”

“What else did they find ?” This he didn’t know and was afraid to learn.

“More than the little pieces of shrapnel everywhere in my side, I still had metal bits deep in the wound, actually. Embedded in the bone where the thing I impaled into left indents.”

Price stayed silent but deep down he started realising how close to dying Nikolai had been. 

“Top of my liver is also a little damaged because of it.” He grinned tiredly. “Was also concussed.” He let his head fall back on the pillow with a sigh. “And neck pain, bruises and lacerations, of course.”

John nodded, his stomach tied into knots with residual fear of what could have happened if he had not been taken care of this fast or this well. He licked his lips and swallowed through a tight throat, trying his best to hide it.

“You should have told me you were this badly injured, Nik.” He said, voice barely above a whisper, laced with worry.

“I was okay.”

“Clearly not.” He scoffed, impressed by his denial -or perhaps it was just stupidity. 

He slid his hands in his pocket with a huff, his right fingers bumping into the bullet. He took it out and made it roll into his open palm, holding it out for Nikolai.

“Here, your bullet.”

“You didn’t use it ?” Nikolai’s lips stretched into a wide, warm smile.

“Didn’t need to.” He shrugged. “Thanks for lending it to me.”

“I keep it for you.” He said, voice a little quieter when he reached out to take it back, covering John’s hand with his and trapping the bullet between their palms. 

Price felt his heart race in his chest, warmth spreading from their joined hands. He dared not move, afraid to break the thin connection between them.

“How long have you been keeping it, Nik ?” He asked after swallowing his saliva and Nikolai removed his hand and with it the bullet, to his dismay.

“Since uh…” He thought out loud, rolling the shell between his fingers. “Since that first time we went to the shooting range together.”

Price frowned. “What ? That was months ago.”

Nikolai nodded, smiling sheepishly. “You never know when you might need it.”

John nodded back silently, throat constricting. Was Nikolai trying to say that..? He pushed the thought away. Probably not. He cleared his throat.

“Any idea of when you’ll be discharged ?”

“Not too soon, the doctor said.” He sighed again, looking a little paler than before. 

“It’s no wonder. You have a lot to heal from.” He paused for a second, observing his face. “You look tired.”

“I am, Jonathan.”

“Eat, then.” He smiled softly, desperately wanting to say more but refraining from it. “And rest.”

“No other choice, eh ?” He grinned before yawning.

“I’ll come and see you another time, yeah ?” Price said, heart beating hard beneath his ribs when he grabbed Nikolai’s hand on the bed and squeezed it gently, immediately letting go.

“See you soon, Jonathan.” He nodded, not losing his smile.

Price left quickly and let out a breath he didn’t remember holding when he was out of the building. He used the short walk to his office to clear his head, trying not to overthink, but it proved useless given how distressed he was when he sat at his desk. Was he too brazen ? Had he gone too far or too fast ? Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Nikolai would even consider him this way. He gritted his teeth, feeling dumb. And this was clearly not the best time to confess his feelings, let alone when he couldn’t -wouldn’t- even put words on it. He put his head on his hands with a frustrated groan. It would have been so much easier if… If what ? If Nikolai wasn’t so infuriating ? So endearing ? So charming ? He let out a snort, ruffled his hair and took a deep breath. He wasn’t a teenage girl, he could handle it. There was no use overthinking it, anyway. He took out his phone, checked his messages, put it down on the desk and set to work. 

John visited Nikolai again a little over a week later, knowing his roommates along with other friends he had made on base also came to visit him. When he entered, he noticed a vase with fresh flowers in them; it made him smile. 

“Who’s your secret admirer ?” He teased, turning to Nikolai.

“Charly.” Nikolai smiled, looking much better than he did a week prior.

“The perfect feminine touch, as always.”

“What did you bring me ?” He asked, curious about the plastic bag in Price’s hand.

“ Pure happiness in a bag, Nik.” He grinned wide, putting the bag down on the bed so Nikolai could see what was inside.

“Food ?” He asked, an eyebrow raised when he took out a small cardboard box.

“ Russian food.” He waggled his eyebrows mischievously.

“You’re not lying, yes ?” A bright glint illuminated the Russian man’s face.

“Forgive my pronunciation, I brought bortsch, pelmeni and pirozhki.”

“Not bad, Jonathan.” He chuckled a little, opening the first box with a delighted grin. Then, he tilted his head. “There’s not much in this. You’re not eating with me ?”

“Nah.” Price shook his head. “I bought it for you.”

“Is really nice.” He beamed, biting into a pirozhki. He let out a moan and nodded vigorously. “Is really good.”

John crossed his arms with a nod and a smile. “Glad you like it.”

He stood there for a few moments, watching with an amused grin as Nikolai stuffed his face as if he had not eaten for weeks. He noticed a book on his bedside table and next to it his phone which screen was broken, his gold chain and the single bullet. He grabbed the book to read its cover and put it back down almost as fast when he noticed the title was in Cyrillic. 

“Where did you find a book in Russian ?” He asked, curious.

“Trevor bought it for me at the airport.” Nikolai articulated around a mouthful of food.

“Where did he go ?” He took the book again and examined the pale watercolour art on the cover.

“Nowhere, he went for this.”

“How nice of him.” John smiled a little wider and put the book back on the table, then let out a little sigh and started moving towards the end of the bed. “See you later ?”

Nikolai looked up at him, a surprised expression on his face. “You’re leaving already ?”

“We’re not all lucky enough to be able to stay in bed all day, russki.” 

“Is not luck.” He shook his head, smirking. “Is torture.”

“I’ll show you torture alright when you’re back on your feet, Nik. You’ll regret saying this.” He chuckled.

“Never, Jonathan.” 

Price laughed again and waved as he left. Seeing him so little made him realise how much he missed him, his laughter, his optimism. It still bewildered him a bit to realise their relationship had barely changed despite the months they spent far from each other, but it was a comforting feeling to know their friendship could weather any storm, any distance, any absence.

That night, when he lay in bed hard and horny and when his mind reminded him of the heat of Nikolai’s lips against his neck and the electric feeling of his hand on his waist, he stood and took a cold shower to rinse the thoughts away, convinced he shouldn’t feed his fantasies any more than he already had.

Chapter Text

A few weeks later, now a little over a month and a half of convalescence, Price found himself laughing with Nikolai while they smoked on a bench not too far from the medical facility. The days were becoming warmer and on this bright morning of May, the sun shone on them pleasantly. 

“Such a nice weather to train in…” Nikolai hummed.

“How long before you can train again ?” Price took his cigar between his thumb and index and blew smoke out. 

“Another three months for the arm, two weeks for the rest.” He sighed, visibly annoyed.

“Does it still hurt ?”

“Sometimes. Mostly during physio sessions.” He put his cigarette back between his lips and used his right hand to comb his hair back, cursing. 

“What’s wrong ?” 

“Hair is too long for only one hand.” He groaned. “I hate washing it like this and is hard to brush.”

“I have clippers, I can give you the military cut if you want.” John snorted.

“Don’t tempt me Jonathan.” He shook his head.

“Do you want me to help you with that ?” He asked and pushed back his hat, a little more serious.

“What can you do, eh ?” He frowned. “I don’t want to cut it short.”

“No, not to cut it, Nik.” John chuckled. “To wash it.”

“You would ?” He grinned, then squinted, a little suspicious. “Don’t treat me like princess, yes ? Don’t make fun of me.”

Price guffawed, a wide grin tearing his face in half. “I won’t make fun of you, russki, relax.”

“Then would you help me with the beard too ?” He shook his head, scowling at his left arm. “Such a hindrance.” 

“Sure. Need a clean shave or just a trim ?”

“Am I asking for too much if I say clean shave ?” He smiled, playing sheepish.

“Nah, it’s okay. When do you want to do it ?”

“What time is it ?”

“A little past 10.” 

“Can we go now ?” He asked, eyebrows raised. “I have to be free at 2 for physio.”

“Sure. Want me to bring my stuff here or..?”

“The shower is small in my room, I’m not sure it’s the best.”

“Mine’s probably larger, let’s go.” He smiled, standing up and putting the cigar back between his lips.

“Wait for me.” Nikolai stopped him and John watched him walk back in the building quickly before coming back out with a grin, gold chain dangling from his hand. “Will you help me put it on ?”

“No problem.” 

“Good. Come on, davaï .” He urged him forward as he stuffed the chain in his sweatpants’ pocket, visibly eager.

They reached Price’s door after a short walk and he pushed it open, inviting him in before closing it behind himself. He looked at Nikolai when he heard him whistle, one eyebrow raised. 

“I wish our dorms were this good !”

“You’ve got to earn it.” John laughed.

“You have a living room, a kitchenette and a separate bedroom, this is luxury Jonathan.” 

“I’d love to tell you ‘wait until you see the bathroom’ but it’s just a bathroom. Nothing special about it.”

“Which door ?” Nikolai asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“On your right.” He snorted, following him with a stool.

“Oh my God, good Lord, Jesus Christ !” Nikolai exclaimed, his face twisted in an exaggerated expression of shock. 

“Jesus Nik…” He chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Look at that, Jonathan, you’ve got a large shower, a sink, a mirror, toilets and cabinets !”

“Please…” He laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Lu-xu-ry.”

“Are you done ?” He crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame. 

Nikolai turned to face him, beaming. “Yeah.”

“Then sit down so I can shave you.”

“Always business and no party, Jonathan…” He mumbled, not losing his smile as he sat on the closed lid of the toilet. “Speaking of which, I heard you’ve deserted the parties and the nights at the bar ?”

John shrugged as he put a small towel under hot water, wrung it and applied it on Nikolai’s lower face. “Yeah.”

“Why ?” He asked, his voice muffled by the towel.

“I don’t know, I just… Got tired of it. Had better things to do.”

“Like what ?”

“Nosy.” He smirked, grabbing the can of shaving cream.

“Just curious.” The corner of his eyes crinkled, showing Price he was smiling again.

“Stuff.”

“Alright.”

John nodded, glad he dropped the subject. He never really had better things to do, he just got bored easily once Nikolai wasn’t there anymore. He removed the towel, lathered Nikolai’s beard with foam, grabbed his razor and a new blade cartridge and sat on the stool in front of him.

“You’ve said everything you wanted to say, Nik ?” He asked as he removed the previous cartridge, threw it in the bin and clipped the new one in place.

“Da. For now.” He smirked.

“Good. Stay still.” He said, leaning closer and taking his jaw in his hand.

Slowly, steadily and with the experience of years of doing it on himself, he started shaving Nikolai’s short beard away, razor in his right hand, left hand pulling the skin taut. He kept his eyes trained on what he was doing despite feeling the Russian man’s gaze on him, a flush creeping higher and higher on his chest the more his regular breath fanned on his face. He focused on the task, meticulously tracing the lines of Nikolai’s jaw, the gentle scrape of the razor the only sound disturbing the silence. He could practically feel the ghost of Nikolai’s gaze on him, both soothing and stirring, and he looked up into his eyes; his pupils were slightly dilated and before long the flush on Price’s chest deepened, climbing up his throat. He quickly looked away as he imagined, briefly, what it would feel like to trace the line of that freshly shaved jawline with his fingertips instead of the cold steel, to brush his lips along it. He swallowed hard, feeling the heat reach his ears. It was a dangerous game, he thought, this proximity, this ritualised favour.

“How long do you want your sideburns ?” He asked after a few minutes of near silence -and a little bossing around- with a voice that sounded too strained even to his own ears, with slightly too short a breath to pretend to be calm.

“Middle of the ears.”

Price nodded and added the finishing touches before dropping the razor in the sink, the sound tearing through the veil of intimacy that had fallen on them. He moistened the towel once more and wiped Nikolai’s face down. 

“All good.” He smiled before carrying the stool out of the bathroom to make some room. 

“Thank you, Jonathan.”

“You’re welcome.” He came back in and threw him a quick glance. “Do you need help removing your top ?”

“I can do it alone.”

“But it’s easier with help, isn’t it ?” John said, a little annoyed with Nikolai’s stubbornness. 

“You don’t have to, you’re doing a lot already.”

“It’s okay.” He rolled his eyes. “Come here.” 

He let the Russian man step closer and gently unstrapped the sling, removing it carefully before ever so slowly helping him remove his tee-shirt, first on his good side, then sliding the whole top down his left arm. His heart clenched painfully when he noticed the new scar from the surgery on his broken arm and the large dressing on his side surrounded by smaller, healed scars. He wanted to stroke the abused skin and kiss the wounds and say he was sorry for the pain he had to go through, but Nikolai was a soldier and he was too. They both knew it was part of the job. 

“Will you need to change the dressing after the shower ?” He asked, aware his eyes were lingering a little too long.

“No, is waterproof. The nurse will do it.” 

“Good. I uh… Since I don’t have a bathtub I’ll have to be with you in the shower, that okay ?”

“It’s not the first time we’ve showered together, Jonathan.” He laughed, amused.

“Yeah you’re not wrong I guess.” He snorted. 

With that, Price removed his clothes and put them in a pile next to the cupboard under the sink. He tugged the legs of his underwear down a little and looked back up at Nikolai. His boxers were white.

“Good for you ?” He choked out, looking right up into his eyes.

“Yes.”

John went past him, into the large shower, and turned the water on the rain showerhead. He adjusted the temperature to something between warm and hot and brushed his now soaked hair back before stepping back a little.

“How's the temperature ?” He asked when Nikolai was under the stream.

“Not bad.” He smiled. “Can I turn it hotter ?”

“Whatever seems right, Nik.” He smiled, stepping a tad closer to grab the shampoo on the shelf. His chest touched Nikolai's back when he leaned forward and he backed up as if he had burnt himself.

“Do you mind if I let the water run ?”

“I don't. I just need you to step out of the water enough for the shampoo not to be rinsed right off.” He chuckled a little.

Nikolai nodded in agreement and took one step back, letting his head roll back a little, enough to have it out of the stream but most of his body under it. Price poured shampoo in his hand and handed the bottle to Nik to keep for now. He lathered his soaked hair, starting with his scalp and massaging his head gently, making sure to work the soap through meticulously before washing the rest of the hair, hands gliding easily down the long black strands. 

Heart hammering in his chest, he found himself holding his breath when he draped his right hand over the base of Nikolai’s neck firmly and pushed him forward slowly, driving his head back under the water. He watched the course of the soapy water down his neck, between his shoulder blades and along his spine, down his- 

He looked up and bit his tongue, fingers prickling, flush rising again. Now drenched, the fabric of his boxers clung to his skin, almost see-through. He swallowed hard and tried clearing his mind before replacing his right hand with his left, thumb lightly brushing against the soft skin, right hand reaching around Nikolai, silently asking for the shampoo. He guessed Nikolai had his eyes closed when nothing came.

John’s hand hung in the steamy air, imperceptibly shaking, hesitating. Nikolai hummed quietly; it urged him to move: with a deep breath, he gathered the nerve to wrap his hand around his forearm gently and to slowly slide it up to his hand to grab the bottle. The fingers grasped around Nikolai’s neck pulled him from the stream and he leaned his head back automatically, as if waiting.

Price poured shampoo in his hand once more and leaned forward to put the bottle away on the shelf. He set about to wash his hair again and seized the opportunity to make him feel good after all the pain he had been through these last weeks. He pressed his thumbs against the base of his skull, rubbing tight circles there to ease the tension out, the movement helped by the soap, before he folded his fingers and slid his knuckles up and down the back of his neck slowly.

“This is so good…” Nikolai moaned quietly.

“Thanks.” Price managed to say, voice barely above a whisper.

He moved his hands slowly along his scalp, soft and gentle at first then a little firmer, eliciting a new set of low moans from Nikolai.

“You're very tense.” He said, mouth dry all of a sudden.

“Funny.” He groaned, audibly pleased. “Just as if I was in a helicopter crash not too long ago.”

“Oh shut up…” He hummed, voice husky.

He worked his fingers on his head for a little longer, then guided him under the water once more and helped rinse what was left of the shampoo out before mechanically letting his hands glide down his spine and his eyes way lower, thumbs stopping just shy of the dimples of his lower back. Suddenly, the air in the shower felt too stuffy. He removed his hands and patted his good shoulder with a hoarse chuckle. He needed to get out.

“All done. Don’t need to wash your body ?”

“Nyet.” He shook his head and turned around, facing him with a smile on his face. “The physio puts oil on his hands so I'll have to shower after anyway.”

Now that they were facing each other, it struck him how close they were. Too close. Price barely had any room to breathe, the damp air feeling like it clung to his throat, and Nikolai’s sly smile made the flush flare up in him in a mix of embarrassment and desire.

“Then I-” John's voice died down when Nikolai's good hand stroked up his arm lightly. A shiver ran down his spine, goosebumps erupted on his skin. If he didn't step back now he would do something stupid. 

“Are you cold, Jonathan ?” He asked, voice low and breathy.

“Nikolai.” He just said, swallowed hard and looked at his lips and back into his eyes and damn this Russian bastard and his goddamn smirk.

He kissed him. An urge, feral and unstoppable. His hands found his hips and pulled Nikolai to him until their body touched, until he felt him groan against his lips. It was stupid, he thought while his lips moved against the Russian’s. Definitely stupid. His tongue tentatively darted out, brushing over Nikolai’s bottom lip. Stupid but so good.

Nikolai breathed out and the sudden chill of the air against his wet skin broke the spell. The air was too hot, the running water too loud. He stared into his dark eyes for a second, at a loss for words, and knew he had just crossed a line he couldn’t return from this time.

“Sorry-”

“Don't be.” Nikolai interrupted, his right hand squeezing where it was wrapped around his shoulder. “Though I thought you weren't the type to kiss men...” 

“I lied.” He admitted, shame finding its way through his ribs. “I've kissed more men than I did women.” There was no point in denying it anymore now that they were here. 

“Secretive thing…” The Russian whispered, lips brushing against his, his slightly arched eyebrow telling him he had already guessed that much.

“And I don't want to stop just now.” Price choked out, ignoring his remark entirely.

“Want more ?” Nikolai asked with a smirk, leaning in to kiss his cheek and jaw.

“I've wanted more since you kissed me on new year's eve.” He groaned, closing his eyes. “It’s…It's not the alcohol this time.”

“I thought I'd scared you that night, Jonathan. Pushed too far, asked for too much.” He murmured against the thin skin of his neck.

John groaned and took his face in his hands, heart suddenly heavy, brows furrowing with the weight of the fear and worry he had bottled up since he had flown to Latvia to rescue him.

“Fuck, Nikolai, I thought I had lost you when I found you in that bathtub.” He muttered before kissing him again, harder, desperate, as if his oxygen could only be found on Nikolai’s lips. “I thought you were dead.”

All the pain he had kept buried, the relief, the anguish, the longing, poured into that kiss, threatening to drown them. When they parted this time, John’s hand slid down Nikolai’s warm body, slow and lingering as if to etch it into his memory; feather-light on the damaged skin, firm on every other sliver of skin he wished to claim. His fingertips bumped against the waistband of his underwear and something ignited within him, an irresistible yearning for something he had denied himself for too long.

“Let’s get out of here.” He muttered when he turned the water off, voice raspy with want.

The silence was deafening, the sudden quietness of the room making him realise how loud his heartbeat was in his ears and how hard he was breathing. He grabbed a towel when he stepped out of the shower and wrapped Nikolai in it, some part of his mind remembering why they had come here in the first place, then started rubbing his hair dry, his shoulders and his good arm before gently tending to his broken one. He helped Nikolai put the sling back on and make sure it was securely attached, worry easing away once he knew he couldn’t hurt him accidentally. 

As he took the towel from where he had left it on the ground, his eyes followed the dark hair on Nikolai’s body: from the planes of his chest, down the hills of his abs that bed rest had softened and down the thick trail that disappeared under the elastic waistband only to reappear, barely hidden, through the soaked white fabric. His breath hitched when his eyes inevitably fell on the evidence of Nikolai’s desire, half-hard against his thigh, the clinging material leaving very little to the imagination. 

He only looked up when the Russian man brought his right hand forward, palming himself lazily, length wedged in the crook of his thumb.

“See something you like, Jonathan ?” He whispered, voice hoarse, pupils even more dilated than earlier.

“Fuck, Nikolai…” He groaned, clearing his throat. 

His hands tightened on the material of the towel while his mind fought for his reason to win. They weren’t here for this and Nikolai had things to do later. Price had done his part of the deal and Nikolai was injured and in need of rest. 

“We should… Stop.” He managed to croak, scratching the fabric of the towel to try and distract himself. 

“Why ?” Nikolai stepped closer, one finger reaching up to catch a drop of water rolling down Price’s chest. 

“You have to be back for physio and this is…” He groaned, fighting to stay in control. “Wrong.” He whispered.

“We still have plenty of time ahead of us.” The Russian started, his hand caressing Price’s heated skin. “And I don’t think is wrong… You want it and I want it, no ?”

“Yeah…” John scoffed a little, taking Nikolai’s hand in his and putting a few kisses on the back of it. “Many people here think it’s wrong, Nik.”

“Eh…Maybe they do.” Nikolai shrugged, grabbing John’s hand and shamelessly pressing it on his hard-on, eliciting a soft gasp from him. “But I see only you and me here, yes ?”

He was right. Entirely so. No one could see them here. No one would shame them for their desires. But what if they discovered it, one way or the other ? What would Charly think ? Worse, what would MacMillan think ? He couldn’t afford to have his reputation tarnished, especially not now that his team was growing. 

“Stop thinking so much, Jonathan…” The Russian man interrupted his train of thoughts, his calm voice soothing him as he whispered against his ear. He let go of his hand and used the back of two fingers to brush over Price’s form underneath the black fabric, effectively shutting his brain off and the reason with it. “...Or tell me to stop.”

“No, not this time.” John licked his lips. “I want you.”  He took his hand in his again, leading him to the bedroom. “Truly want you.”

“You know Jonathan…” Nikolai started, chuckling slightly. “I told you I wanted to know what made you you , no ?”

“You did.” He said, turning around to look at him once they reached the bedroom, trying to stay focused on the words and not on the mouth -easier said than done.

“Well, the truth is I'm curious about how your body likes to be touched, too.” He paused to kiss down his neck. “I'm curious about your late night thoughts and how they make you feel. I'm curious about every single thing about you.”

“Don't say things like that.” John snorted, feeling his cheeks burn. 

Nikolai didn’t answer. Instead, he backed him up to the bed and made him sit on the edge before kissing his lips first, then his neck again, his free hand finding his knees and spreading them apart. Through the haze of desire, Price observed silently as the Russian man kneeled between his legs.  “What are you doing, Nik ?”

“I told you I wasn't a religious man, Jonathan, so definitely not praying.” He whispered against the skin of his navel “I'll let you make your own conclusions, yes ?”

“Nik…” Came Price’s hoarse voice, wanting to tell him to stop and to continue at the same time. “You’re injured, you shouldn’t…”

“I want to.” He smirked, licking his lips. “Stop worrying, am healthy enough for this.”

“Fuck, Nikolai…” He mumbled, one hand reaching for his face, thumb stroking his cheek. 

Despite the overwhelming lust he felt, John couldn’t help the concern that tugged at his heart from seeing him like this. He had been so used to seeing him healthy and fit that he had almost forgotten he could be vulnerable. His thumb brushed over his lower lip. He could see beyond the sly smile and heated gaze, he noticed how he adapted his movements to protect his broken arm, how he avoided to lift his right arm in order not to expose his torn side. His train of thought dissolved suddenly when Nikolai hooked his fingers in the waistband of his black boxers.

“Do you think about me late at night, Jonathan ?”

“Shut up...” He deflected, not wanting to answer. 

“You do…” He smirked, pulling the drenched underwear down just enough to expose him, his length bobbing up obscenely. 

Nikolai grinned and chuckled, a deep, dark sound rumbling out of his throat as he pressed his lips along his glistening length. John let out a shaky breath and leaned back on his hands to enjoy the view. 

“Do you ?” He asked in his turn, eager to hear the response. 

“Mh ?” He hummed against him, smiling wide. “Da…” He backed away a little to kiss and bite his thighs. “You want to know ?”

Price swallowed hard with a small, feral laugh. “I do. Tell me, Nik.” 

“I think about you often when I’m alone in bed… I imagine the hand stroking me is yours… I rub against a pillow fantasizing it is against you…” He teased, voice low, vibrating against his skin. “I suck the come off my fingers wishing it was yours…”

Price’s breath caught in his throat at the confession, the words sending electric shocks up his spine, raw, burning desire seeping through his whole body. He felt the exhale of Nikolai’s silent chuckle on his overheating skin more than he heard it and immediately after his lips back on his shaft. He licked his own dry lips, watching intently as Nikolai put wet, open-mouthed kisses along his length, feeling himself twitch every time. 

John lifted a hand and gently put it down on Nik’s head, petting his damp hair slowly while he played with him teasingly. He could barely register that this was really happening, his short-circuited brain having a hard time believing Nikolai, his teammate , was kneeling between his legs and on the point of sucking his cock. He let out a little laugh, wondering if it was even right to still call him just a teammate. 

“Something funny ?” Nik rasped before darting his tongue out and licking the tiny bead of precum that started forming on his tip.

“No it’s just-”

He didn’t have the time to finish his sentence, interrupted by a low moan when Nikolai took his tip in his mouth. Mouth agape, he watched him slowly wet his length, going further and further until he made him slick enough to slide right up his tip easily. John had to fight not to close his eyes, the spit-lubricated friction driving him mad, but he would have never wanted to miss the way Nikolai’s lips looked wrapped around his cock, plush and beautiful and so, so skilled . The sound of his ragged breath echoed in the bedroom, regularly interrupted by growls and moans, his eyebrows knitted together as his fingers tangled in the black strands, following the lazy rhythm of Nikolai’s head, his pleasure already embarrassingly high for such a short time of stimulation. 

“Shit, wait-” He groaned in a belated moment of clarity. “I’m not…” He hissed, wanting nothing more than to just submit to the sensation. “I haven’t been tested recently, Nikolai.”

“Mh ?” The Russian man looked up at him through his lashes, the sound vibrating against his shaft.

“For STIs.”

Nikolai hummed again and let go of him, a grin spreading on his slightly flushed face. “Is too late anyway, no ?” 

“But-”

“You had a lot of partners recently, Jonathan ?” Nikolai interrupted, using his hand to stroke him slowly, his dilated brown eyes locked in his.

John shook his head, rendered speechless by the waves of heat rolling up his spine with every brush of Nik’s fingers.

“Me neither.” He smirked, voice low and raspy, accent thicker with desire. “Screening before the next time, then ?”

Price’s mind failed to catch the unsaid promise, torn as it was between intense pleasure -mostly- and worry for potential infection -mildly. Subconsciously, without even responding to the question, he let his knees fall further apart to give him more room, showing him how good he was making him feel. He heard Nikolai take a deep breath and wrap his lips around him once more, going further and further down until his tip hit the back of his throat while the base of his shaft was engulfed in wet heat, a loud moan erupting from his own throat, hand tightening in his hair while he throbbed, heat pooling at an alarming speed in his groin. 

He let go of his hair when he felt him back away, thigh muscles twitching, the view almost too lewd to bear as Nikolai licked his shiny lips and looked up at him. It didn’t take long for him to go back to bobbing his head on him, soft hums and quiet moans muffled by the member in his mouth, and it didn’t take long for the pleasure to skyrocket in Price again, his groans hoarser and hoarser as he closed his eyes, panting. He reopened them abruptly after a particularly delightful roll of Nikolai’s tongue and brought him to a halt.

“Stop…” He gasped, breath short, cock throbbing again, too close to coming for comfort.

“Feels good ?” He grinned, mouthing at his thighs again.

“So good, Nik…” 

“Is repayment.” He said mischievously. “You gave me head massage in the shower, now I give you head.”

“I’m not complaining.” He chuckled, the tension in his body slowly uncoiling. “Though I should be the one looking after you. You’re the one nursing an injury.” John murmured, gently stroking Nikolai’s hair, his fingers lingering a moment longer before gesturing to the bed. “Come here. Lie down.”

He frowned when he saw Nikolai wince as he stood up but hid his worry when he watched him get comfortable on the bed, desire soon taking the upper hand again. He spread his legs, kneeled between them and let his hands roam on his skin, feeling the slight prickle of hair against his fingertips, the lieutenant in him mourning the loss of the muscles he spent so long helping him refine. He stayed there for a few moments, observing, devouring, his heart beating hard in his chest while he ran his hands along his torso and down to his waist. So narrow for such a big man, he thought, hands wrapping around it. He remembered Nikolai’s first day on base, the fatigues that hung low on his hips for lack of a belt. All due to this narrow waist. He must have been staring because Nikolai chuckled a little, his belly contracting under his palms. 

“What's so funny, russki ?” He asked in a whisper, leaning on one hand, closing the distance between them while the other hand slipped further down, fingers tracing the inside of his thigh.

“You’re holding my waist like you want to do things to me.” Nikolai chuckled again. 

“Probably because I do.” He laughed, kissing his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin he found there while still making sure he didn’t crush his injured arm between them. 

“Wanna fuck me, Jonathan ?” He tilted his head on the side with a groan, to Price’s delight. 

“Sure do.” He growled, hand drifting between his thighs and ghosting over his balls.

“Will you ?” Nikolai rolled his hips up, meeting the fleeting hand, inviting him. 

Price let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly before biting down on his pulse point. “No, Nik…” He removed his hand from between them and lowered his own hips, pushing himself flush against Nikolai.

“You did too good of a job earlier.” He admitted, feeling the flush creep up his cheeks again, glad he was hidden in the crook of his neck. “It will have to wait another time.” He grunted as he rolled his hips, making Nikolai gasp softly.

“Self-sabotaged myself again.” He giggled, his free hand roaming John’s back.

“I don’t think you did.” Price leaned back slightly, as he plunged his eyes in Nikolai’s and in one swift motion pulled his underwear down and took both their length in hand. “ This doesn’t feel very sabotaged to me…”

Nikolai’s eyes widened for a split second then narrowed, a hiss and Russian curses falling from his mouth. John gave them a few strokes, loose and unhurried, scanning Nik’s face when he tightened his fingers slightly, interpreting the deep frown creasing his brow as a sign to keep going. Nikolai’s legs shifted to accommodate Price better, changing the grip he had on them, more of their skin touching now. John swallowed hard, his heavy breathing mingling with Nik’s, moans and grunts of pleasure echoing between them. 

Price slowed his hand, loosening his fingers a little more to use his hips to grind down against Nikolai. He bit his lower lip to muffle an embarrassingly loud moan, the different type of friction making his stomach flutter. He saw the Russian man smirk before he felt a hand join his around their length, gripping them tight and setting a faster rhythm. His eyes fell shut against his will and he put his forehead against Nikolai’s, gasping for air, the pace speeding his pleasure up dangerously. He wiped the precum from Nik’s belly and used it to help the friction, groaning as it brought him closer yet to the edge. 

“God Nik…” He hissed, his hand tightening on the sheets as his body started tensing.

“Da…” Nikolai moaned, tilting his head up to crush his lips on Price’s. “Just like that…”

“I’m gonna come…” 

“Wait for me…” He gasped and Price felt him speed up again, his own hand following the lead. 

“I can’t-” He grunted, panting, close, so close to tipping over the edge. 

“So good Jonathan…” Nikolai grunted in his ear and it was all it took to Price to finally come.

His muscles trembled as his balls tightened and he moaned in between ragged gasps as he throbbed in their hands, eyes screwed shut in bliss while Nikolai kept stroking them a little slower. He heard him curse in Russian again, a string of mumbled, unintelligible words escaping his mouth as his breathing became shorter and shorter until he groaned, body arching under Price’s, hot spurts of semen splashing their stomachs, grip still tight as they both chased the last of their orgasm. Before long, the touch softened to a light, lazy caress, their loud panting decreased to a quiet breathing, their hearts steadied. 

They stayed silent for a little longer while Price placed a couple of gentle kisses along Nikolai’s neck, using this as an excuse not to look into his eyes just yet. Then, taking a deep breath, he rolled on his back next to Nik and sighed before turning his head to him with a smile. He didn’t expect Nikolai to bring his own hand to his mouth and he watched in a daze, mouth agape, as Nik licked the come on his fingers with a smug grin. 

“Jesus, Nik…” He groaned as felt his face grow warm.

“Don’t play coy, Jonathan, I told you I dreamed of this.” He giggled, tongue gliding between two fingers. 

“You’re nasty.” He chuckled, eyes tracing the drops of their pleasure on his torso. “How do I taste ?”

Nikolai wiped his hand on the sheets and curled it around Price’s neck, bringing him closer and kissing him wet and deep and sloppy, effectively sharing their mixed taste with him. John hissed a little when they pulled apart and he noticed Nikolai bite his lower lip. Devil.

“Just like this.” Nik rasped. “Perfect.”

Price laughed a little with a shake of his head. “You’re impossible.”

The Russian man let out a satisfied sigh and hummed knowingly. “Eh…”

John observed him for a few seconds, smile not leaving his face, then sat up. 

“I’ll clean you up.” He declared with a squeeze on his thigh before standing up and going back to the bathroom.

He grabbed a washcloth, ran it under hot water and walked back to the bed, where he sat again and wiped their mess from Nikolai’s skin and body hair. 

“And we didn’t even stain your sling.” He chuckled with pride. 

“High five !” Nikolai snorted, lifting his hand, and Price gave him a high five before wiping his hand clean too. 

Next, he wiped himself down and went to rinse the cloth before throwing it in the laundry basket. This time, when he came back into the bedroom, Nikolai was sitting on the edge of the bed and yawning. He smiled softly before going for his chest of drawers and taking two pairs of clean underwear out and handing one to Nik. 

“Wouldn’t want you to go to physio with wet pants, now would we ?”

“How thoughtful.” Nikolai guffawed.

John removed his own boxers and slipped on the clean pair before adjusting himself properly and helping Nikolai with his. He also helped him put back on his tee-shirt and sweatpants before snaking his hand into his right pocket with a wink and retrieving the golden chain. He gently wrapped it around Nik’s neck, fingers brushing against his collarbones, and carefully fastened it before stepping back slightly and giving him space to adjust it. 

“All good.”

“Thank you, Jonathan.” Nikolai nodded, a grateful glint in his eyes.

“Don’t mention it.” He chuckled, brushing his fingers in his beard. “Wanna grab a bite ?”

“What time is it ?”

“A little before noon.” He declared before dressing back up too. 

“What did you have in mind ? The mess hall ?”

“Yeah ?” Price nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

“And strip me of my twelve o’clock check-up with the nurse ?” He gasped with an exaggeratedly shocked face.

“Never, russki.” He laughed and rolled his eyes. “God forbids I keep anyone from their twelve o’clock check-ups.”

“That’s what I thought.” He grinned. “My lieutenant will surely want to know if I’m back on my feet.”

“Oh I think he knows.” Price chuckled then headed for the door. “Come on, let’s go.”

They walked back to the medical facility, John waited patiently in the room while the nurse inspected Nikolai from every angle, then made him lift his right arm to change the bandage. He watched her peel the waterproof layer gently, heard Nikolai hiss in discomfort as it pulled on his body hair, then observed her carefully remove the dressing. He crossed his arms to hide the twitch in his fingers when the skin was finally revealed. It was far less swollen than he had expected, but it still looked red and tender, the number of stitches promising a gnarly scar. 

“No blood.” The nurse said in a calming tone while she cleaned the wound. “It’s been what ? A week now, that you’ve not shown signs of reopening ? This is good.” 

She turned to throw away the used gauze and various open packets while the skin dried. “How does it feel ?”

“Tight.” Nikolai simply declared.

“Did you start massaging and moving the skin like I asked ?”

“No.” Price saw him smile sheepishly, then caught the nurse’s disapproving frown. “But the physio did.”

She hummed quietly, the frown easing a little, then put a clean dressing on and a new waterproof layer. “There.” She smiled. “See you in two days.”

Price nodded in acknowledgement and watched her leave right before Nikolai stood up, rubbing his arm on the new bandage gently. 

“Itchy ?” John smiled, finding the gesture endearing, then stepped closer when Nik said yes. He rubbed his hand flat on the spot, his touch feather-light in fear of hurting him more than soothing him. 

They headed for the mess hall not too long after, walking leisurely through the base, making the most of the first warming rays of sun. As they sat down to eat, the easy conversation came back naturally, just as their usual banter did. John was more than glad to see that the familiarity of their relationship had remained unaffected by everything that had happened. They chatted, caught up on their lives, laughed and it all seemed so instinctive it made Price’s heart swell in his chest. He couldn’t have been more grateful for Nikolai’s easy-going nature than in this instant, for the way his eyes shone with mischief and his smirk never disappeared and his half-assed complaints hardly sounded like real problems.

It made it all the more difficult to just leave him at the door of his physiotherapist’s room without a touch and without knowing when they would be able to share another intimate moment again. Not that Price didn’t want to hug him or kiss him or even just have a tender gesture for him, no, and not that he didn’t have in mind his own schedule, but he would never have dared to show any kind of affection to him -to a man - in busy corridors like this one and he wouldn’t want to hope too much, too soon.

“See you later, Nik.” He just smiled, wishing he could do much, much more.

“Da.” Nikolai nodded, smiling back. “See you Jonathan.”

Chapter Text

Just like he had expected -and feared- Price didn’t have the opportunity to see Nikolai in private settings again for a long time. The operation he had been waiting for for months had finally been triggered and he had had to leave for three weeks without any chance of contacting England before flying back. He let out a heavy, tired sigh when he let himself fall in the seat next to MacMillan’s in the Black Hawk that brought them back to base, a weary grunt escaping his throat when he put the headset on, leaned back and closed his eyes. 

“Feels good to be back home, Lieutenant ?” 

A familiar voice crackled in his ears, almost making him jump, its accent unmistakable. His eyes reopened and he looked at the cockpit where a smirking Russian pilot waved at him. His lips stretched into a grin on their own accord as he waved back, knowing the brown eyes hidden behind the sunglasses were filled with playfulness.

“Damn good. Glad to see you back in service, Yankee-7.” 

Nikolai nodded and turned back to the navigation instruments while Price wished to say more but kept silent, wary of prying ears. Instead, he closed his eyes again, a little smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth as the rotor started turning and the helicopter lifted from the ground slowly. The flight wasn’t long from the airport to the base, yet John wanted nothing more than to finally be relieved of his duties and to enjoy his first hot shower in three weeks and some well-deserved rest in something else than an uncomfortable camp bed.

He slid the door open and hopped out of the helicopter as soon as the wheels touched the ground, following MacMillan to get rid of his equipment and to debrief. He sat on the chair across the captain’s desk with a groan, noticing a stack of paper in the middle of it. Reading backwards, he discovered it was the reports of the men that had had the chance to come back home earlier than them and he internally thanked them. Having those meant there wasn’t much left for them to debrief about except the last few days and they did exactly that: a general overview of the first two weeks, cross-checking with the reports and finally a detailed review of the days they were on the field together. Price didn’t miss the moment MacMillan pressed the stop button on his voice recorder and he failed to keep a sigh in. 

“Tired, John ?” The captain asked with a little laugh, his voice sounding just as tired and his face looking just as drawn as Price’s.

“You know it.” He nodded, smiling. “And I know you are too, Mac.”

“Can’t say you’re wrong.” He shook his head with a sigh of his own. “Didn’t get leave authorization for our unit yet, so see you tomorrow, yeah ?”

“Sure thing Captain.” Price nodded before standing up, saluting and leaving. 

His body felt heavier than it had in a long time thanks to three weeks of poor sleep, eating rations only and being on the lookout at all times. He walked back home mechanically and collapsed on his couch with another heavy sigh, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

18:23

text me when u home?

20:41

Home

John answered the few other messages he had and put the phone down on the coffee table to bury his head in his hands with a yawn before it buzzed.

20:45

tired?

20:45

Yeah

20:46

too tired for me?

Price snorted.

20:46

Definitely

20:46

have you eateny et?

20:46

Nope

20:47

omw

20:47

No ?

He watched his screen waiting for an answer, but it never came. Instead, half an hour later after he had showered and was back on the couch reading, a knock echoed on his door. He yawned again and went to open, not really surprised to find Nikolai on his doorstep, grinning wide with a plastic bag in hand.

“Bloody hell, Nik…” He snorted, shaking his head as he stepped aside to let him in. 

“You need some good food after being deployed for three weeks, yes ?”

“Do I ?” He laughed as he closed the door behind him and watched as Nik put everything on the coffee table. 

He didn’t get an answer then either. Nikolai set out three cardboard boxes and as if it was completely normal, he rummaged through John’s kitchen drawers, grinning wide when he found cutlery.

“You could’ve asked, you know ?” Price smirked, sitting back down heavily on the couch. 

“Let me take care of everything.”

“Alright.” He shook his head, too tired to protest. 

“You told me you liked it so I got you the best pub food I could find.” Nikolai declared as he sat next to him.

“I told you that ?” Price narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

“Da.” Nik nodded, opening the boxes one by one. “First, scotch eggs, then steak and chips, then apple crumble.”

Then, he took out two plastic cups from the bag and let it fall on the ground next to him carelessly. “And beer to go with it, of course. Palmer’s IPA. It might not be as cold as it should be but well…” He shrugged.

A smile grew on Price’s face and his stomach rumbled. The cheeky bastard knew what he was doing. He took the fork and knife Nikolai gave him and dived in immediately, cutting a scotch egg in half and eating it with his hand, moaning at the first bite. 

“Where'd you find those ?” He asked, mouth full, as he watched the gooey yolk of the egg drip from the half he had left in the box. 

“At the Dirty Duck.” Nik grinned, taking the other egg and biting in it. 

Price stayed silent for a few seconds as he chewed and tried to remember where the pub was, but his mind was fuzzy and he quickly abandoned this quest.

“Roommates recommended it to me.” Nikolai added after swallowing his bite. 

“It’s so good.” John said in an approving tone. “Thank you Nik.” 

Nikolai just grinned, removing the lids from the cups and handing one to Price. “My pleasure, Jonathan.”

They ate mostly silently, mainly because John was tired and too busy stuffing his mouth with English goodies, Nikolai talking once every few bites to keep him updated on what had happened on base the last three weeks. By the time the eggs and the main course were finished, Price had leaned back on the couch with a deep satisfied sigh, the last of his beer in hand.

“It was so good…” He mumbled, nodding slowly in appreciation while he scratched his mustache idly.

Nikolai nodded back with a grin as he wiped his mouth, retrieved the plastic bag and put the empty boxes in it. “I apologise for the time I said English food was disgusting in general.”

John finished his beer and raised an eyebrow, suspicious, knowing there was more to his sentence. 

“Though Russian food is still better.” 

He chuckled, ignored the remark, threw his empty cup in the improvised trash bag and stood up before stretching a little. “Do you want a cup of tea with the crumble, Nik ?” 

“Sure.”

“Any preference ?” Price asked while he filled the kettle with water and put it on the stovetop. 

“Nyet. I’ll have what you have.”

John nodded once and grabbed a light brown paper bag from one of the shelves of the kitchen. “Bellocq number 09 sounds good to you ?” 

“No idea, you tell me.” Nik snorted.

“White tea, bergamot and cornflower.” Price turned around, leaning back on the counter with a smile. 

“Da.” 

He watched him nod as he said that, either not caring about the type of tea or not knowing nearly enough about tea to say anything, his vaguely doubtful expression comical but definitely endearing. John chuckled a little, took out two cups, placed strainers in them and added a little tea. Then, when the water was hot, he poured it in the cups and brought them to the table along with a small plate to put the strainers on later.

“Thank you again for the food, Nik.” Price smiled fondly when he took the first bite of the dessert. “And for the update.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“What about you ? How do you feel ? I didn’t think you would be back to flying so soon.”

“Eh…” He shrugged. “The doc wasn’t too eager to let me fly so soon either.”

“Really ?” John snorted, not entirely surprised. 

“Yeah.” He articulated around a mouthful of crumble. “I still have a month to go before I can resume exercising with my left arm.”

“You’ve started training again I suppose ?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’m just careful not to use my arm. So no obstacle course, no push ups… You know.”

Price hummed in agreement.

“I had to prove I could handle a Black Hawk mostly with only one hand and I got approved for safe flights.”

John nodded while he removed the strainers from the cups and took a sip of his tea. He hadn’t missed the way he still protected his left side and he wanted to tell him that he knew he was pushing himself too hard, but he abstained. Nikolai was too stubborn to listen to him anyway. “What about the rest ?” 

“I’m good. Liver and skin are healed.”

Price nodded yet again, a comfortable silence falling on them as they finished eating. It felt somewhat strange to have Nikolai here, chatting and keeping their distance as if the last time they found themselves together here never happened, but it also felt soothing. It didn’t feel forced or awkward in any way. It felt natural. 

“How do you feel, Jonathan ?” Nikolai asked, drawing him out of his thoughts.

“Tired as hell.” He sighed after a sip of his tea. “I’ve never been so impatient to get in bed and sleep.”

“You’re on leave tomorrow ?” 

“Nope.” He shook his head. 

“Ah…” Nikolai chuckled a little. “Condolences.” 

John snorted, a smile stretching his lips. “I’ll live.”

“No doubt.” 

Price watched as the Russian man finished his cup and stood up, stretching briefly before heading for the door. 

“I’ll let you sleep, then.” He said and John frowned, confused.

“You’re leaving ?” 

“Da.” Nik said, taking his leather jacket from the hook in the entrance.

Price felt a pang of dejection grip his heart. “Won’t you stay the night ?” He asked.

Nikolai stopped in his tracks, jacket in hand. “You want me to stay, Jonathan ?” 

The question felt weird to Price. Of course he wanted him to stay, why wouldn’t he ? But then he remembered how they hadn’t touched all night, not even kissed, and he wondered if Nikolai took this as a sign of rejection, perhaps. 

“Of course I do.” He mumbled, hiding behind his cup. 

“You’re sure ?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, seeing how hesitant Nik seemed. 

“Then I can stay the night, yes.” He smiled warmly and it dissipated John’s doubts.

Price finished his own cup and stood up as well to put everything in the kitchen sink. “I probably have a new toothbrush lying around somewhere in the drawer.” He smiled, pointing his thumb at the bathroom. 

He finished tidying up quickly, locked the door and joined him in the bathroom to brush his own teeth before heading to the bedroom. He pulled his tee-shirt off and hesitated when it came to his sweatpants, knowing he had nothing underneath. Maybe Nikolai had sensed his uncertainty, or maybe it was just his usual laid back nature, but either way he undressed spontaneously, without questions and visibly not bothered by his own nudity. John looked away, embarrassed, and got rid of the last of his clothing too.

“On which side of the bed do you sleep ?” Nikolai asked, mindlessly scratching his shoulder.

“Right one.” 

Price sat down on his side while Nikolai nodded and put his phone down on the empty bedside table. With yet another tired sigh, John slipped under the top sheet and lay down on his back for a few seconds, his whole body feeling like it weighed tons. Then, he rolled on his side to face Nikolai and smiled. Hair spilling on the pillow, half covered by the sheet, his usual smirk on his face, Nikolai looked like he belonged here. 

“Thank you.” John whispered, sliding his hand along Nik’s arm, grabbing his hand and kissing the back of his fingers.

“What for ?”

“For tonight. For dinner. For staying.”

“It’s no problem, really, Jonathan.” Nikolai murmured, not losing his fond smile.

“Goodnight then.” Price finished, still feeling somehow too uneasy to move closer. 

“Goodnight.” Nikolai responded.

Price turned on his other side to turn off the lamp before settling comfortably. A warm hand came to rest on his waist and he felt the bed dip behind him when Nikolai shifted closer.

“Do you mind if I..?” The voice was right next to his ear.

“Not at all, Nik.” He answered, smiling to himself.

He felt his chest touch his back and his nose brush the nape of his neck before Nikolai placed a kiss on his shoulder and let his head down with a satisfied grunt. John felt himself melt on the sheets, his heart pounding in his chest. The summer night was too warm to be cuddled up this way and Price was sure he would wake up in a couple of hours because of the heat, but for now he couldn’t care less. Before long, tiredness got the better of him and he sank into deep sleep.

As he had predicted, he woke up a little over two hours later, sweaty and sweltering. Nik’s body was fully pressed against his, his arm draped around his torso, hand lazily caressing his chest.

“You’re not sleeping ?” He asked in a whisper, voice hoarse with sleep.

“Dozing.” He mumbled against his neck. “Too hot.” 

John grunted in agreement, shifting on the sheets and turning around, pushing Nikolai back a little. They wouldn’t be able to cool off if they stayed against each other like that. He yawned as he turned his pillow around, sighing in bliss when he let his head down on the cooler side. Nik’s hand found his waist again and he brushed his thumb there mindlessly, his breathing slow and steady. There, in the darkness, Price found the guts to put his hand on his jaw blindly, to lean forward and to kiss him. He felt Nikolai smile against his lips for a few seconds before his tongue brushed against them and it all became a bit too sloppy to feel such subtle details. The hand on his waist drifted to his hip, the finger still rubbing unhurriedly on the skin. 

Price broke the kiss and let his forehead rest against Nikolai’s with a smile, grateful for the privacy the darkness gave him. In the silent room, he could hardly hide the way his own breathing had sped up after the kiss and he felt like a frustrated teenager; who the hell got horny after simply making out ? He was trying to calm down when Nik’s hand slid further back and stroked his backside gently.

“Having naughty intentions, Nik ?” He whispered, voice hoarse for an entirely different reason now.

“Me, Jonathan ?” He asked quietly with a chuckle. “Always.”

Price responded with a chuckle of his own, scooting closer and crushing his lips back on Nikolai’s. His mouth opened faster this time, tongues finding each other easier, the kiss wet and eager. The hand on his ass tightened, pulling him flush against Nikolai, sparks of desire coursing through his body when he felt the Russian man’s growing erection against his own. His own arms wrapped around his body and his hands stroked and kneaded his back, their chest brushing against the other with each of their quickening breaths. 

Nik’s hand slid along his thigh slowly, down, up. He growled into his mouth and bit his lower lip, making John’s hips buck involuntarily. Price chuckled against him, right thumb blindly caressing over his nipple. 

“I missed you.” Nikolai groaned.

“I missed you too, Nik.” Price whispered, heart swelling in his chest. 

“I want to feel you…”

John nodded, too busy kissing him again to answer. Nikolai’s hand slid down his thigh again and hooked behind it, suddenly pulling it over his hip as he rolled on his back. Price found himself straddling his hips, his hard shaft rubbing against his belly and sending jolts of pleasure up his spine. Nikolai wrapped his right arm around him and lifted him slightly before sitting up and pulling him back on his lap, his back against the wall now. Price knew he was muscular -of course he did, he was the one who had trained him- but still it dazed him to see how easily he had lifted him with only one arm. It fueled his desire but in his exhausted mind, it also made him strangely proud to notice how powerful Nikolai was. 

He leaned down and kissed his jaw, tracing a line down his neck slowly while the Russian’s hands roamed his body, stroking and pinching and clawing and making him pant with need. Then, one hand disappeared and Price heard Nikolai suck on his fingers before it snaked around him and two slick fingers slid over his entrance. His hips stilled as he put his forehead down on Nik’s shoulder and licked the pad of his left thumb to circle his nipple lightly. 

“You’re gonna fuck me, Nik ?” He groaned when the fingers rubbed a little firmer, already knowing the answer.

“Da.” He whispered, voice raspy. 

John gently pinched Nikolai’s nipple right before Nik’s middle finger breached in. He let out a soft gasp and put his mouth back on Nikolai’s skin, tasting the salt of the sheen of sweat there, feeling his own body overheating between the warmth of the night and the desire. He sucked a bruise on his collarbone, mindful of the spot he placed it -so it would be hidden under clothes- and let out a shaky breath when the finger slowly slid deeper, helped by the saliva. From where he was, he could feel Nik’s length twitch against him every once in a while and he felt his patience melt like snow in the sun. Just as he was about to protest, Nik’s middle finger sank up to the knuckle and he started gently moving in and out, John’s breath hitching every time it was completely in. 

He let his hands trace his body once again, his own fingers learning the new topography of his skin: the new hill of the long scar on his side, the new vale of the one on his arm, the bumps and hollows of every other little imperfection that had brought him right here. He kissed up his neck slowly, teeth grazing sensually as his breath fanned on the sweaty skin. He let out a quiet, choked moan when Nik’s ring finger pressed in along the other, making him chuckle in a low, gruff voice, the dark sound going directly to Price’s cock. Nikolai’s free hand slid up from where it was stroking on his shoulder and wrapped around the back of his neck, squeezing tight as he pressed his lips on his ear.

“Needy…” He just said, voice barely above a whisper, the word rolling off his tongue with a strong accent.

John bit his lower lip with a soft hum and rolled his hips once in confirmation. His eyes fell shut -not that he could see anything anyway- when Nikolai combined the slow thrust of both his fingers with the firm stroking of his thumb on the nape of his neck. He released his lip from between his teeth, mouth agape in bliss, torn between the sexual pleasure rousing his body and the relaxing pressure making his tired brain drowsy. He felt languorous in every way possible, his whole being at the mercy of Nikolai’s skilled fingers, and there was nowhere he would have rather been than here.

A cascade of shivers ran down Price’s spine when Nikolai nipped at his lobe, the warmth of his short breath ghosting against his ear and his coarse stubble scratching his skin. Lost in the heady mix of sensations, a muted whimper escaped his lips when the fingers slipped out of him gradually. As if waking up from a fever dream, he reopened his eyes and felt around the bed until he reached the bedside table. He slid open the first drawer and blindly grabbed the lube first, then felt around some more to find a condom. Swallowing hard and forcing himself to breathe a little slower, he shifted back on Nikolai to give him some room and handed him the condom. Patiently, heartbeat echoing loudly in his eardrums, he waited to hear the packet tear and the latex unroll before finding his hand again and giving him the lube. The cap clicked open, then closed and the bottle made a dull sound when Nikolai threw it further away. 

His large hand found his neck again and his lips crashed on his when he pulled him closer, growling into the kiss. Lubed fingers prodded at his entrance and easily slipped in, not staying long as Nikolai’s shaft soon came to rub between his cheeks. Despite the very slow rhythm he had started, John could hear him groan in a low voice each time his tip caught briefly on his hole, just as well as he could feel his fingers tighten on the back of his neck. Nikolai’s scorching body and firm grip had him writhing in anticipation, mind empty but for an overwhelming sense of desire and belonging.

“Tell me if it’s too much, mh ?” His hoarse voice rumbled against his lips.

Price chuckled a little, his own hands reaching up to frame Nik’s face while he kissed him again. His soft laugh receded into a hum when he started easing in, slow and effortless, hot and wet and everything John wanted at the same time. He moaned when Nikolai bottomed out and started grinding into him lazily, feeling impaled just right and stretched just enough not to hurt.

“You’re okay..?” Came Nikolai’s voice in a barely articulated murmur.

“More than okay…” John agreed just as he started rolling his hips slowly.

Exhaling a shaky breath, he let go of Nikolai’s face and placed his hands on the wall to steady himself. His sore muscles screamed when he started amplifying his movements, pleasure and tiredness hardly dampening the ache accumulated during the last three weeks. As if Nikolai had read his mind, he slid his hands to his waist and helped him while he thrusted up in time with John’s downward stroke. Time seemed to slow down while Price rode him, each move sending a wave of warm pleasure through his body, his eyes closed again while he panted, discreet sounds escaping his throat with every thrust, fingers clawing uselessly at the smooth wall.

With a quiet, pained whine torn from his throat by his hurting muscles, he leaned back until he could rest his hands on the sheets next to Nikolai’s knees and started rolling his hips again, slower, deeper. He let his head roll back with a moan, the changed angle intensifying the pleasure into an electric pulse that raced through his veins each time he moved. He breathed hard, the air in the room stuffier than before, their shared breath feeling damp in the hot summer night. Nikolai’s hands were clammy where he held his waist and he could feel beads of sweat roll down his back the more he lost himself in pleasure. His mind was foggy with exhaustion, his hair was clinging to his forehead and his taut muscles twinged, but he cared only about the sound of Nikolai’s voice, about the sensation of Nikolai’s hands digging in his flesh, about the ecstasy of Nikolai’s cock stroking his insides.

He bit his lip to muffle his moans, his voice hoarse even to his ears, and the half-silence that fell on them made him realise Nik wasn’t only moaning with him, he was talking . Soft, breathy words in Russian fell from his lips in a reverent litany.

“Anything worth sharing, Nik ?” He groaned, catching a hint of a few recognizable words. 

“Nyet, nothing important.” He murmured between moans.

“ Moyem khuy ? My what ?” He asked, arching his back and grinding his hips down.

“My dick.” Nik gasped, his hands tightening on his waist. “I said ‘I bet you look so good on my dick’.”

“Wanna see if you’re right ?” He chuckled, voice laced with desire, before he blindly reached for the switch without waiting for an answer. 

He narrowed his eyes, the light too bright after being plunged in darkness for so long. A string of curses left Nikolai’s lips and John noticed he was actively staring at him. Feeling cocky, he rolled his hips slowly, his body glistening with sweat undulating sensually in the low light. He saw Nikolai’s throat bob and was suddenly pulled closer, Nik craning his neck up with a smirk as he licked a stripe of skin between his pectorals. 

“I was right.” He growled, holding him tight and thrusting faster now. “You look so good on my cock, Jonathan…”

Price moaned at the new rhythm, pleasure reaching higher, tension building in his groin. His fingers clenched on Nik’s shoulders, the powerful muscles rippling under his touch hypnotizingly. One of Nikolai’s hands gripped his jaw and angled his head so they could kiss, lips hungry and tongues feisty as they made out sloppily, groaning in each other’s mouth, their breaths mingling. The hand on his jaw slid down to his chest, pushing him backwards into his previous position. 

“You like this better, no ?” He asked, immediately smirking when Price moaned louder. “Yes… Yes you do…”

John fisted his hands in the sheets, sparkles filling his vision every time Nikolai fucked into him, the angle and rhythm exactly what he wanted, what he needed . He looked down at himself, at his rock-hard length against his belly, at the smudge of precum where his tip was rubbing, then further, at the damp hair on Nikolai’s chest, at the golden chain that shook with each thrust, at the long hair sticking to the back of his neck. Insolent bastard. So handsome. He moaned again. So skilled. 

“Fuck yes, Nik…” He hissed when the Russian man reduced his speed in favour of broader moves. “Just like that…”

The muscles of his thighs were burning but the quickening of Nikolai's breathing and the crease appearing on his brow were enough to make him forget about the pain. Sharp spikes of pleasure shot through him and made his cock twitch, his moans louder and louder, pressure building slowly up while Nikolai's grip tightened almost painfully.

“You feel so good, Jonathan…” He moaned before letting go of his waist and trailing a hand to John's cock. “I'm getting close…”

Price's bucked into the touch with a strangled moan, his body protesting at the loss of help and singing at the white-hot pleasure at the same time. It took a second longer for him to register what Nik had just said and when he finally did, he did his best to reign in his will to fuck up into the Russian man’s fist and to focus on the lazy roll down of his hips instead. Mind fuzzier by the second, he contracted his muscles, engaging his whole body to ride Nik to orgasm, aware this position made for an exquisite view of his sweaty body and using it to his advantage. He forced his eyes open and looked at Nikolai with a smirk.

“Don't hold back, Nik.” He rasped, arching his back to take him that much deeper.

“Jonathan…” Nikolai moaned, cursing again, his free hand clenching in the sheets, the other splaying flat against Price's groin, unmoving, the shaft slotted in the crook of his thumb and index.

From under heavy lids, John's eyes watched the tensing and releasing of Nikolai's abs, the quick up and down of his chest, the clenching of his jaw when he swallowed thickly, the unfocused glint of his brown eyes. 

“Don't stop…” Nikolai moaned, running his thumb on the underside of John's cock. 

Price grunted in anticipation, wave after wave of pleasure running up his spine each time he met with Nik's hips, heat pooled in his groin delightfully, desperate for more yet unable to reach higher without friction. With another effort, John raised a hand to play with Nikolai's nipples while he intentionally clenched down on him.

“Fuck Jonathan-” He gasped, hissing curses louder now.

“You're coming, Nik ?” He panted, feeling him tense under him.

“Da…” He moaned, thrusting up again, erratically.

“You're gonna come in me, Nik ?” He whispered, riling him up.

“Jonathan-” He hissed, hands shooting up to grab his waist again and slam him down on his cock. “Fuck I-”

Price didn't hear the end of his sentence, eyes rolling back as Nikolai thrusted hard with loud moans before stilling deep in him and gasping as he came, body taut, choked moans leaving his throat and hands clawing at his waist painfully. Dull jolts of pleasure rushed to John's cock as he felt Nik pulse in him, each throb making his entrance twitch in response. 

For a few seconds, everything seemed to blur together, the hot air of the room blending with their skin, Nik's body melting into his, their moans mingling. Lost in a haze of pleasure, John didn't even know anymore where his body stopped and where Nikolai's started, couldn’t make out Nikolai's panting from his own.

Lazily, he reopened his eyes and noticed Nikolai had his forehead against his heaving chest, breathing hard, hands still locked tight on his flesh. He swallowed hard, breath ragged, and gathered the strength to stroke the long dark hair gently. They stayed like this for another moment, still and panting and too hot before Nikolai looked up at him, glazed-over eyes under heavy eyelids, a satisfied grin on his face.

“Feels just like home…” He croaked with a small chuckle.

John smirked and snorted. How did Nikolai still have humour in him after this, he didn't know. “Perv.”

“Mh…” Nikolai hummed, kissing and biting his chest slowly while his left hand settled in the small of his back. “Da…”

Price let out a strangled whimper when Nikolai’s right hand wrapped around his length, eyebrows knitting as his mouth fell open. 

“So hard.” Nik chuckled against his skin before leaning back against the wall once more. His thumb brushed against his frenulum and John moaned. “So sensitive…”

“Hell, Nik…”

“You’re close, Jonathan ?”

Price nodded, brows furrowing further while Nikolai just chuckled. His grip became loose, barely providing him any friction as he started stroking him agonisingly slowly. Quickly vanishing waves of faint pleasure rippled through him, his whole body straining in frustration. He looked up into the Russian man’s eyes, silently pleading for more, but Nikolai seemed to have quite a different take on his longing.

“What a beautiful devil you are…” His rough, accented voice whispered. 

John groaned, breathing hard as pleasure started building up again at a painfully sluggish pace. He whimpered when Nik’s thumb smeared his precum on his head, then moaned loudly when he slid his tight fist down to spread it to his shaft. His eyes fell shut as an intense rush of pleasure flooded him, soon fading away when the hold on his cock loosened again. He panted hard, gasping for air as his whole body started trembling in impatience and frustration, pleasure languidly growing, heat pooling in his balls again. 

“Nikolai…” He rasped, throat raw.

His abs clenched under the slow drip of pleasure in his veins, each hardly-there stroke now sending electric shocks of too-weak bliss up his spine, length twitching eagerly, precum beading faster on his tip. His hands gripped the sheets tighter, mind falling back into a haze of bliss and drowsiness, wanting more but refusing to beg for it. He let out a shaky breath as Nik’s hand stroked up again, entirely too slow, slivers of ecstasy arising and vanishing instantly, making the tension in his groin coil almost imperceptibly. He moaned again and again in a dark, hoarse voice he barely recognized as the Russian man just went on and on and on until he was writhing in pleasure, head thrown back as he panted, heart pounding so hard it could have broken his ribs, the fingers stroking him now covered in clear liquid, their friction not enough and too much at the same time. Each tiny brushing of his hand now made his whole body tense in bliss, each minuscule drop of pleasure having accumulated to a flood that threatened to engulf him with every stroke.

“God, Nik…” He groaned, shaking from head to toe, teetering on the edge of release. “Keep going…”

Nikolai hummed again and the hand he had on the small of his back clawed up to the back of his neck, pulling him close enough to kiss him. Their mouths collided passionately, lips locked in heated desperation, shivers of pleasure running down his spine and going straight to his cock. It only took another caress of Nikolai’s hand to push him over the edge, moaning and tensing all over as his balls tightened and his cock throbbed in Nik’s hand, spurting against his own chest intensely, each wave of ecstasy better than the last. He licked a last time into his mouth and broke the kiss, taking ragged gasps as he rode his orgasm, his forehead resting against Nikolai’s as the tremors subsided, replaced by soft shivers arising from where Nikolai’s thumb rubbed circles on the nape of his neck.

Once he could breathe without straining and feel the tip of his fingers again, he opened his eyes and looked at Nikolai, a blissed-out smile on his face.

“I was starting to think I broke you.” Nikolai spoke first, eyes crinkling in mischief.

John sneered, letting out a heavy sigh. “Not even close.” He lied, grinning.

He shifted on his lap and winced when his knees and thighs screamed in pain, then chose to lie down to ease the tension on his aching muscles. He let himself roll on his side next to Nikolai then heavily on his back with a grunt of mixed relief and pain. 

“It’s so hot in here…” He mumbled, wiping his brow. 

“I wonder why.” The Russian man chuckled and Price watched him as he wiped his hand on himself,  removed the condom and tied it. 

“You’re hard again ?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah...” Nik threw him a quick glance with a smirk. “Getting you off is quite arousing, Jonathan.”

John scoffed, feeling his cheeks heat up a little, and sat up, his own come trickling down his chest. He licked his lips and stood up to open the window, then he turned to Nik. “What do you say about a smoke and a quick shower ? To cool off and clean our mess ?”

Nikolai nodded, smiling. “After you.”

When they crashed in bed after a shot of nicotine and their cold shower, a slight, pleasant breeze was coming in from the window. Price’s exhausted brain shut off mere minutes later, sinking into deep slumber once more. He was woken up by his alarm a few hours later and he groaned loudly at the displeasure of having to leave his bed and its current inhabitant. He grabbed his phone, turned the alarm off and opened the notification that had popped up. 

05:02

Leave approved

A wide smile stretched his lips and he let the phone fall back down on the bedside table before tightening his arm around Nikolai’s shoulders and kissing the top of his head, which was resting on his chest. 

“You leavin’ ?” Came his sleepy voice.

“Nah. Not yet.” He smiled.

Chapter Text

Against all odds -or, well, if the odds weren’t on Nikolai’s side- Price ended up going to the unit parties again. Far less often than Nikolai did, as lieutenant duties dictated, but with renewed interest. That night, the party was fancy-dress-themed and if not for the vehement insistence of the Russian man, John would have never chosen to go to this one. True to his nature, he had chosen a very simple, very convenient spy attire: turtleneck, dress pants, dress shoes and blazer, all in black. With it, he added an old earpiece he had laying around, a watch he never wore and a pair of wayfarer sunglasses, kindly lended by Nikolai. Nikolai, for his part, had found a black hooded robe and a skull mask, which had had Price puzzled at first.

“What are you supposed to be ? Death ?”

“I like to think of myself as War, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

“War ? Without a spear or a gladiator sword or a claymore ?”

“I have many real weapons, but not a single fake one.” He had chuckled.

“You could as well be Death or Conquest.”

“Eh…” He had shrugged with a smirk. “People will decide for themselves. As long as they don’t recognise me…”

“They will as soon as you open your mouth, russki.” John had snorted with a shake of his head.

And here they were now, with Nikolai forcing himself to stay mostly silent and consequently, drinking much, much more to keep his mouth busy. To help with the cover Nik wanted to keep, Price had arrived later and tried not to stay with him too much. It was laughable, really, and desperately pointless, but it did make Price smirk and laugh all along the evening. He found it especially hard not to recognise him but then again, he would have recognised this jaw and those hands anywhere. 

The party went on and it seemed that the more the time passed -and the alcohol flowed- the less people seemed to care about who was hiding under the mask. From an external point of view, War (or Death or Conquest or anything people recognised him as) was just another outgoing guy, easy to laugh with despite his wish not to speak and who never said no to raising a toast. He didn’t miss the glances he threw at him when he crossed his field of vision, his smirks half-concealed beneath the mask but the crinkling of the corner of his eyes betraying it. 

He was far from surprised when they inadvertently found themselves behind the counter of the kitchenette at the same time. What surprised him -but shouldn’t have, really, given how much Nik had drank this far- was when, hardly hidden by the recess of the kitchenette, Nikolai gripped his waist with both his hands and kissed him. Anxiety spiked up in his chest and he broke the kiss promptly, stepping back.

“Bloody hell Nik.” He whispered, heart beating fast in his chest as he looked around them.

“Relax…” The Russian man chuckled in a low, slurred voice, turning back to his glass on the counter. “No one can see us.”

Price groaned a little, not convinced, especially because everyone could see them if they looked their way, then shook his head with a little snort. Rash bastard.

“I’m impressed by your ability to shut up tonight, russki.” He said, taking a sip of his own liquor.

“Am full of surprises.” 

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “You’re heading home soon ?”

Nikolai shook his head no, making his drink swirl in his glass.

“You’re sleeping with me tonight ?” He added, his voice even quieter. 

Nikolai shook his head again, not losing his smile.

“Alright. See you later, Nik.” Price winked and went back into the crowd.

It wasn’t unusual for them to sleep at Price’s, but most of the time Nikolai preferred to go back to his dorm. It was rather accommodating, in truth: easier when they had to leave base at incongruous hours and way more discreet. John liked to think that the frequency of his visits was low enough not to raise suspicion, whether in his roommates or in anyone crossing his path on his way there. He never talked about his fear of their relationship being discovered to Nikolai, probably because he was sure Nikolai was far too laid-back to even care about what people thought of it. 

He walked back home a few hours later, feeling relaxed after such a good time with people he was glad to see more often again. He yawned when he sat at his desk the next morning after a short night. He was lost in paperwork when his phone buzzed and was pleasantly surprised to see Charly was the one who had texted him.

09:26

How was your night ?

09:27

Too short but good. Yours ?

09:27

About the same. Say, you know who was under the skull mask, right ? You know, that guy dressed like Death ?

Price chuckled, confused by such an out-of-the-blue question.

09:28

Yeah ? What about him ?

09:28

That was Nikolai, right ?

09:28

Yeah

09:29

That’s what I thought.

09:30

>Picture

John opened the picture: it was quite blurry, people laughing as they posed in bright light. He raised his eyebrows, not seeing how it could be linked to Nikolai.

09:31

What about that picture ?

09:31

…Right upper corner ?

He opened it again and zoomed in a little, his blood turning cold. Of course they could fucking see them there. Blurry and easily overlooked in the darker background, he saw his back turned to whoever took the picture, hands that weren’t his on his waist and without a doubt his face right against a masked one. He swallowed thickly, panic seeping in his veins as he thought of a pretext. His thumbs remained frozen over the keyboard, a million excuses flooding his brain, each one sounding more absurd than the last. He gritted his teeth and typed the dumbest thing possible.

09:35

It’s not what you think.

09:36 

You and him kissing ?

09:36

He was shitfaced. Who even took the picture ?

09:37

Gator.

09:37

There’s more ?

09:38

Yeah. It’s the only one where you’re kissing, though.

09:38

Fuck’s sake Charly.

09:39

Got something to tell me, John ?

09:39

No.

09:39

You’re dating ?

Price cursed under his breath in the empty office. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He clearly didn’t need that. She asked but she knew anyway, didn’t she ?

09:43

Please don’t tell a soul, Charlotte.

09:43

I had my suspicions.

Oh this was way worse, wasn’t it ? Because if she had suspicions, then other people probably did too. 

09:44

Promise me you won’t tell anyone. Please.

09:44

I won’t, John. I promise.

09:45

Thank you.

09:45

Mind telling me why ?

09:46

Apart from the obvious ?

09:47

? The obvious ? Wdym ?

09:48

We’re both men, Charly, in case you missed it.

09:48

And ?

09:49

I’m glad you don’t see anything wrong with that statement, but most people do. That’s why.

Price sighed, part of him deeply ashamed that someone found out. It usually meant backlash. Shaming. Violence. Especially here in the military.

09:50

I was about to type ‘you must be kidding me’ but I don’t want you to regret telling me. It feels absurd to me tbh, that you being men is the reason, but unfortunately I suppose it’s valid. I’m sorry it has to be that way, John. 

Price reread the message a few times. It made him feel strangely emotional. People rarely reacted this well to this kind of news. He let out another sigh, heavy and shaky at the same time.

09:53

Thank you, Charly. I mean it.

He forced himself to put the phone down and he leaned back in his chair, watching the screen warily as if he expected it to light up with an avalanche of hateful messages. It did not. He ruffled his hair, eyes closed, trying to clear his mind. Shit. 

He told Nikolai a few days after, when he spent the night with him. 

“Eh…” He said with his usual shrug, lying on his side in bed, leaned on his elbow, his other hand stroking gentle circles on Price’s stomach. “Was bound to happen, no ?”

John kept his mouth shut for a moment, deep in thoughts.

“Better Charly than someone else, no ?” He added after some time.

Price hummed and looked at him. “I suppose, yeah.”

“I trust her. She’s the least prone to tell people, I’d say.”

“Yeah.” John chuckled a little. “I made her swear not to tell anyone.”

“You did ?” Nikolai grinned, lying back down and scooting closer, wrapping his arm around Price’s chest. 

“Yeah. Better safe than sorry.”

“Times are different, Jonathan, you should stop worrying.”

“You think so ?”

Nikolai’s smile dropped, his expression turning sour suddenly. It made Price regret asking: never had he seen Nikolai’s face turn dark this abruptly. 

“Trust me, they are.”

He wanted to pry, to weave his way into the deepest, darkest corners of Nikiolai’s being and to tear the memories and secrets from him with his bare hands, but he did not. The pinch of his lips and the crease on his forehead were enough to tell him Nikolai was not open to discussion. When they turned the light off and settled to sleep, a little later, Price wondered what he had been through for his mood to change so fast, wondered what hell it could have been to grow up like this in Russia. He let out a soft sigh and pulled him closer, promising himself to help him heal.

“You’re gonna sleep in here, Jonathan ?”

Price looked up from the map on the table at the sound of Nikolai’s voice. He let out a low grunt, too tired to throw him a jab: their escape routes were unsafe and he was yet to find at least another.

“Need help ?” The Russian said, smirk faltering as he approached.

“Nah, I’m okay.”

“Visibly not. Everyone’s in their bedroll and you’re not.”

“You’re not either.” He scoffed, giving him a quick glance, not daring to look at the entrance of the tent -too afraid to see Nikolai was right.

“Because I just finished standing guard. And am worried for you.”

“I just need to get this sorted out before I go to bed.”

“Exhausting yourself over it surely helps.” Nikolai snorted.

Price glared at him but soon softened, a small chuckle exiting his lips when he saw his amused expression. “...Fuck you Nik.”

“I suppose you still haven’t eaten, yes ?”

“Jesus, what are you, my mother ?” He rolled his eyes.

“Okay let’s go, come outside: we eat, you disconnect for a few minutes, will be good.”

Price wanted to protest but as much as he hated to admit it, Nikolai was right. Fresh air was usually a good solution to clear his mind, and at the mention of food, his stomach started rumbling. The commanding tent was on the opposite side of the ones in which the soldiers were sleeping, so they rekindled the fire and got their supplies ready. 

“You’re a menace, you know that, Nik ?”

“Are you trying to seduce me ? It’s working.”

“That’s it, I’m never taking you on a mission ever again.” He snorted while taking a bite of his chicken.

“I’m the best pilot you have, Jonathan, and you know it.” 

“A goddamn curse, that’s what you are.” He mumbled with a smirk behind his canteen.

They finished eating quietly, in the cool air of the night and under the dark sky, and it tugged at Price’s heart a little when he cleared his throat.

“I should go back to work.” He sighed.

“You can stay a little longer.” Nik whispered, laying his hand on his on the ground. John tensed immediately and as he was about to remove his own hand and say something, Nikolai interrupted. “No one’s coming from our back and we can see most of the camp from here. If someone comes uninvited, we’ll see him coming, Jonathan.”

“Yeah…And… I can, but I shouldn’t.” Price answered in an equally quiet tone, forcing himself to relax.

“Infiltration is in three days. You can do whatever you were doing tonight, tomorrow, first thing in the morning.”

“And what, I just go to bed right now ?” He chuckled.

“Da. Or stay a little longer here.” 

John stared at Nikolai’s hand on his and felt his chest swell. He noticed he was still smiling at him, surprised not to see any playfulness in his eyes for once. Maybe he could stay, just a little longer.

“Alright, Nik.” He mumbled. “Had something in mind ?”

“Nyet. Keep on talking, just like earlier.”

“Any subject ?”

“Mh… Was thinking about something earlier.”

“Yeah ?” John started stroking his thumb on the back of Nikolai’s hand mechanically. “Tell me.”

Nikolai started telling him about the habits he has picked up from people he used to know and the rest of the world disappeared for a moment. The night was calm and Nikolai spoke in a soft tone, as if not to disturb the silence of the camp, his deep voice pleasantly gravelly. The way he gazed between him and the fire, the gentle smile he never seemed to lose and the spark in his eyes had Price wondering if he had ever seen him like that. It wasn’t especially rare for Nik to be relaxed and talkative, far from it, but John couldn’t remember a single time when he had seemed this relaxed, let alone during an overseas operation like this one. The more he watched him and the more he listened to him, the more it felt like Nikolai was himself . It eluded him why the Russian man would feel this way now , of all times, but he was glad to be here to see it. With another fond smile, he squeezed his hand a little and this seemed to stop Nikolai’s tirade.

“Are you even listening to me, Jonathan ?” He chuckled, squeezing his hand back.

“Of course, russki. You were talking about that ex-girlfriend who taught you to score your mango directly with the peel and to use the rim of a glass to remove the skin.”

“Exactly.”

“You’d be surprised to hear I do the same with avocados, but I use a spoon to remove the skin instead. And it never came to my mind that I could do it with mangoes, too.” 

“You do ?” Nik chuckled. 

“Yeah. Also, here, something I learnt from a friend: I wash the outside of my windows horizontally and the inside vertically. This way, If there’s still streaks, I know which side they’re on.”

“Genius.”

“I know.”

“My babusya used to never leave the house without an umbrella, like many old people do, yes ? Well because of that, I used to check the weather every time I had to go out. At least before I joined base.”

“You don’t anymore ?” 

“It doesn’t matter much now, especially when your lieutenant says you have to be on the race track at 6 am. If it rains, it rains.”

Price laughed and readjusted his boonie hat on his head. “Vile man, your lieutenant.”

“Eh…” He shrugged with a chuckle and it made Price’s smile grow larger.

“Who was it ? Your babusya ? Grandma ?”

“Da.” 

“Do you still talk to her ?”

“No. She passed away a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry.” John mumbled, internally cursing himself for putting his foot in his mouth.

“Don’t be, it’s life. She was old.”

Price hummed, deep in thoughts. “Do you miss her ?”

“No. It’s been too long for that.”

“How was she ?” He asked, unconsciously tensing a little. Family was a subject Nikolai rarely talked about.

“I’d say resilient and kind, as far as these can go in USSR. A little eccentric from occidental point of view, but very traditional from russian point of view.”

“Did you spend a lot of time with her ?” He asked, relaxing again when he didn’t notice any reluctance in Nik.

“When I was little, yes. With Olenka.” Price didn’t miss the way his smile faded when he said the name of his sister. “We spent entire weeks at a time at her house, it was nice, like long holidays.” 

“Sounds lovely.”

“Da, it was.” Price felt Nikolai squeeze his hand just a tad harder and saw his free hand fiddle with his necklace. “Until I discovered years later why we used to spend so much time there. Problems blooming everywhere like dandelions.”

Nik shrugged, putting on an indifferent facade, and John saw right through it. It was right here, in his palm: Nikolai’s vulnerability, barely concealed to his trained eyes. So he cradled it delicately and spoke softly in hopes to ease the unspoken ache. 

“Was she the one who brought you up ?” He asked in a whisper. 

“No. But sometimes I wish she did.” 

Price turned his hand and laced his fingers with Nikolai’s. No matter if anyone saw them, this was meaningful. 

“Why ?” 

The word fell out of his mouth in a shaky exhale, hardly audible, as if the fragile balance between Nikolai’s willingness to open up and the instinct to close in could be tipped by its weight. 

“Because maybe if she had raised us, it would have been different.” 

The fingers intertwined with his tightened, the subtle smile completely disappeared, something in his voice changed and it felt like a switch had been flipped. Yet again, it eluded Price why here , why now , but words started to spill out of his lips like a torrential downpour, relentless and unstoppable.

“Maybe that asshole wouldn’t have beaten us and maybe Olenka wouldn’t have left and maybe-” His voice broke and John saw the muscles in his jaw contract when he clenched and unclenched it mechanically. 

“Maybe if the city hadn’t been such a shithole we could have lived together as a real fucking family.” He let out in a grunt, his grip so tight on Price’s hand it was almost painful now.

John stayed silent. The words collided in his head as he tried to puzzle everything together. So much of Nikolai’s life was unknown to him he had a hard time making everything make sense, but each sliver he uncovered proved worse than the last. He had so many questions, yet none he dared to ask. Who was the asshole he was talking about ? Which city did they live in ? What happened there to shatter his family so deeply ? Once again, just like he did when they first spoke of Olenka, Nikolai seemed to read his mind.

“He killed Roman and nothing was ever the same after.” He said through gritted teeth, speaking too quickly now, his accent growing stronger. 

“Because then she had to sell her body and I had to be the responsible one and Olenka left.”

John’s throat closed and suddenly the air was too thick as one piece clicked when he remembered Nikolai had told him he didn’t have a father. Was he talking about his father ? Was the woman forced to prostitute herself his mother ? Who was Roman ?

“Because I was son of whore, because I never understood why I was unable to like girls and because other children hated me for both. I wish she had raised us in her small town where no one knew us, I wish she had protected us, I wish she had protected Roman.”

John watched him intently when he paused, his vice-like grip on his hand reassuring him, as if he was afraid he would vanish into thin air. He could feel his hatred, his pain, as if they radiated from each of his pores.

“Children told me I was freak, then my mother told me I was freak, then Russia told me I was freak, because is not important to discover your younger brother dead or to see your mother become a prostitute but loving boys is !” 

The dots started connecting, slowly at first, then faster, like magnets attracting each other. The man Nikolai was talking about was his father. He had killed Nik’s younger brother, Roman. He had forced his mother to sell her body, one way or another. John could feel Nikolai shake, from anger, from pain, from sorrow. From years and years of repressing who he was and bottling up his feelings. He wanted to comfort him, to wipe away the unspoken fears and doubts he perceived through the words, to hold him close and tell him he wasn’t responsible for his brother’s death, for his sister’s departure, or for what had happened to any of them. He swallowed thickly, forcing the questions out of his throat, blurting them all at the same time before he lost the courage to ask.

“Why did he kill Roman ? What happened to him after that ? Why did your mother have to go through all this ?”

“I have no idea. He was… He was five .” Nikolai spat through gritted teeth. “This asshole was sent to IK, a corrective colony, and my mother wasn’t making enough to provide for us. I hope he suffered, I hope he died there for everything he did to us.”

Five . The word echoed in John’s head louder than a gunshot. Five . He wanted to ask Nik how old he was, but he couldn’t. He was too afraid to know. Too afraid to be so used to violence and death that he would fail to feel anything else but dull indifference. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” He murmured. “None of this was your fault.”

Suddenly, Price felt his grip loosen and saw his expression turn weary as he nodded weakly.

“Times have changed, Jonathan.”

“Nikolai…”

“Am sorry. I… Talked a lot.” He smiled up at him, his features so drawn it almost hurt to see him like this.

“Don’t apologise.” He croaked out, a lump in his throat. “Come.”

He stood up and pulled on their joined hands, forcing Nikolai to stand with him and bringing him inside the commanding tent. He closed the flap and took his head in his hands before placing light kisses on his face.

“Don’t ever apologise again for what happened to you, for being you .” He whispered while he kissed his cheek. He knew it was stupid to ask this of him when he had just chosen to retreat to a more private place to kiss him. He knew it was hypocritical to dare say this when he panicked at the mere idea of someone discovering he liked men. But he didn’t care, not when Nikolai had looked so broken just seconds ago.

“Don’t apologize for talking freely, not to me, never.” He declared softly. “Don’t apologize for feeling , Nik. You’ve been through so much -terrible, hard times- you have every right to be angry at the people who did this to you, at the whole world if you need to.”

He kissed his face again, and if it was more to keep himself from crumbling than to comfort Nikolai, he didn’t say it. “You deserve to feel. Openly. God, you deserve the world, Nik.”

“I’m sorry for freaking out the other day when Charly told me she knew.” He murmured, lips barely lifting from his skin, thumbs brushing on his face gently. “You were right, you are right. Times are different. Times are better . I shouldn’t feel like we have to hide. Forgive me.”

“Jonathan.” Nik smiled, voice husky, letting himself be covered in pecks. “Is okay if you want to hide.”

“Nik…”

“In English you say great honours are great burdens, means a happy life is lived discreetly, no ?”

“Yeah...”

“Is good with me. I want to live discreetly with you, Jonathan.”

Price felt a blush creep up his neck and he chuckled, shaking his head. “Shut up.” He mumbled before kissing his lips and wrapping him into his arms tightly. He sighed when they parted, locking his eyes in Nikolai’s. 

“Thank you for telling me, Nik.”

“Thank you for listening.” 

“Don’t mention it.” He placed a kiss on his forehead and stepped back. “Try to get some shuteye, okay ? We’ll be up early tomorrow and it’s late already.”

“Sure, mom.” Nikolai grinned, his voice just a little too soft, and Price knew his usual self was back, the barriers up again. He smiled back with a little snort.

“And no complaining tomorrow, russki.”

“Sir, yes Sir.” He said with a smirk as he exited the tent.

When dawn broke over the camp, almost everyone was up, groaning zombies gathered around the pots of burnt coffee. John lowered his boonie hat on his eyes, not any less grumpy than the others. He looked down at his steel cup, observed the dark, bitter coffee at the bottom of it with a mix of aversion and gratefulness. Silently, he leaned against one of the posts of the tent, yawning as a result of one of the soldiers yawning, lulled by their quiet chatter. From the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar figure bring his empty cup to the coffee pot. He noticed his stiff shoulders, the dark circle under his eyes, the shadow of his stubble. Nikolai stretched, eyes meeting his, and gave him a tight smile, raising his cup in greeting before taking a sip. 

Despite his mostly relaxed posture, Price wasn’t fooled: he could read the tiredness on his features, the grief and resentment not quite wiped off his face, maybe even guilt for having spoken so much, spilled his guts too much. He sighed quietly, eyeing his coffee once more and finishing it in one gulp. He nodded at Nikolai when the Russian man stepped a little closer.

“Morning.”

“Morning Captain.” He just replied, voice still rough with sleep but unusually soft for the trained ear.

“Didn’t sleep much ?” 

“Nyet.” Nikolai shrugged. “Too hot.” A white lie for prying ears.

Price hummed in a non-answer. Lower still, voice barely above a whisper, he spoke again. “You don’t look too good. Are you okay ?”

“I’m fine.” Nikolai nodded, the tiniest of genuine smiles stretching his lips. “Really.”

John sighed a little, unsure of how much of it was really true. Once again, he wanted to know more, to ask more, but he knew better than to push him, especially with the amount of other men they were surrounded with.

“Got a lot to do today.” He just declared blandly after a short silence, pushing himself off the post.

“Yeah.”

“Be careful, alright ?” John murmured, looking directly into his eyes, wanting this simple gesture to carry everything he couldn’t speak - worry, trust, love. 

Nikolai grinned and nodded, and it was as if Price could see the walls around him build brick by brick suddenly, the truce brought by the night vanishing, for the best, at least for now.

“Always am.” Nikolai whispered.

Price yawned as he stepped into the meeting room, tired already. Mid-fiscal year reporting was one of the least interesting tasks he had to partake in, but MacMillan had been adamant that his presence was highly recommended, especially if he wanted to rank any higher than lieutenant one day. He sat down and while everyone prepared, he opened his latest emails. He smiled when he opened one from the medical facility and immediately sent a text to Nikolai.

13:26

Results came back, I’ve got a clean bill of health.

13:27

say again in clearer englush ?

13:27

No STIs.

13:28

oh

13:28

good

13:28

very good

13:28

want some good news too?

13:29

Sure. Tell me.

13:30

>Picture

back in business

Price opened the picture, curious of what he could mean and almost snorted out loud. It was a rather close shot of Nikolai’s left arm, flexed and back to its pre-crash bulky glory. He was about to close it and type a reply when something caught his eye in the background.

13:31

Are those my sheets ??

The financial analyst cleared her throat to get their attention and he looked up, locking his screen and sliding his phone back into his pocket. What the hell was Nik doing in his bedroom ? Wasn’t he busy at that time of the day ? He smirked a little for himself and shook his head. He’d see that for himself later.

A little over two hours later, with the first signs of a headache in his temple, a file under his arm and a shitload of numbers bouncing in all directions in his skull, he stepped out of the meeting room with a sigh and lit up his cigar before taking out his phone. He had completely forgotten about Nik and snorted again when he reopened the picture before reading his answer.

13:32

yea

15:52

What the hell are you doing at my place ?

15:53

finally free? making the most of your shower

He laughed at the answer, exhaling smoke after his first drag.

15:53

Yeah, finally. Don’t you have your own shower in your dorm ?

15:54

yours is bigger and i’m not disturbed when i do things in there

15:54

Things ? What kind of things do you do in MY shower Nik ?

15:55

>Picture

i wait for you

Priced groaned a little, hoping he hadn’t made a mess, and opened the picture. He immediately locked the screen, and took a few steps further away, feeling a blush creep up his face. Jesus Christ . He reopened it when he was sure no one could see over his shoulder. On the screen was Nikolai, sat on his bed, only the bottom half of his -smirking- face showing, his left hand holding a grey tank top up to show his abs, legs spread and Price’s navy blue sheet thrown across his lap, the fabric hiding very little, just covering enough to see a sliver of the waistband of underwear and just thin enough to make out his erection. He cursed under his breath and took a nervous drag on his cigar.

15:57

Jesus, Nik…

15:57

so ? are you coming home soon ?

15:58

On my way.

He put the phone in his pocket again, walking back to his flat immediately. He tried his best not to hurry and to keep his calm because the last thing he needed was to bump into someone he knew with a raging hard-on. He got in quickly and locked the door behind him, his cigar still hanging from his lips, oblivious about the smoking rules. He removed his shoes, grabbed the ashtray from the ledge of the window and strode to the bedroom, wondering if Nikolai was just toying with him or-

He gasped audibly when he stepped into the bedroom. He was not toying with him . He was toying with himself .

“Bloody hell Nik…” He groaned. 

Instead of just being seated on the edge of the bed, he was leaning on the headboard, splayed on the bed in a lustful pose, one hand palming himself slowly through a pair of black jockstraps, the other behind his head. 

“Took you long enough, Jonathan.” He smirked.

“Sorry if I was busy while you were lazing around.” He chuckled, crawling on the bed and on Nikolai before taking a long drag of his cigar, grabbing Nikolai by the jaw, crashing his lips on his and blowing the smoke right into his mouth. 

He licked his own lips, watching as the Russian man inhaled the smoke with a large grin. He shook his head and put the cigar out before putting the ashtray down on the bedside table.

“Aren’t you one lascivious bastard…” He growled when Nik blew the smoke out, grabbing his legs and pulling him so he was completely lying down, then spreading them and wrapping them around his waist.

“And you’re not ?” He chuckled.

“I’m not the one waiting for you, hard as a rock in what I think are brand-new jockstraps, mh ?”

“Eh…” He shrugged, his shit-eating smirk tearing his face in half.

John slipped his hands under the grey tank top, slowly pushing it up and lowering himself, lips pressing down on hairy skin, soft and hot, trailing up his abs, wandering on his sides, stopping at his sternum. He hummed, hands pushing the top a little higher, chuckling when fingers clawed at his hair and back. 

“Needy.”

He put his lips down on the scar on his side, kissing it gently as his thumbs stroked his skin slowly. He covered it in tiny kisses before putting one on each of the smaller scars around it, then switched sides and kissed the one on his arm before leaning back on his chest and kissing with reverence each one he saw, large or small, old or new, darker or lighter.

“What are you doing, Jonathan ?” 

“Kissing your scars better.”

“What, are you in love or something ?” He snorted, hand tugging on his hair lightly.

Price stopped, looking Nik dead in the eyes with a grin. “Of course I’m in love, Nikolai.”

It seemed it had stunned him because for once the Russian just stared at him, mouth agape, at a loss for words. John chuckled, then noticed… No ? He shifted a little closer and bit his lower lip.

“Are you blushing, Nik ?” He murmured, voice low and suave.

It pulled Nikolai right out of whatever daze he was in and he brushed it off with a scoff, muttering something in Russian. 

“Yeah, you are…” John smiled, leaning back down and licking over one of his nipples. “Fuck, it makes me want to ravage you…”

He hummed against his skin before wrapping his lips around his nipple, sucking on it gently while his hand found the other, playing with it until it was hard and perky. He let go of the first one and licked and nipped at the other, toying in the same way with the one he just kissed. By the end of his ministrations, Nik’s chest was heaving, his breathing short, his pupils blown wide. He chuckled and continued, down his chest and to his navel, then to his hip bones and down his thighs. By the end of it, he was painfully hard and Nikolai was writhing. He smirked, something feral and mischievous, when he lightly traced the hard line of his erection through the jockstraps.

“Turn around.” He commanded and Nikolai obeyed, not even protesting.

John understood why immediately and a curse escaped his lips. His entrance was glistening with lube, the hair around wet with it. He swallowed hard and leaned down, nuzzling Nikolai’s ear and growling right into it.

“That’s what you were doing in my shower, Nik ?” He asked, one hand kneading his ass.

“Da…” He hummed. “In your bed too.”

Price chuckled and slapped his ass, lying on his stomach between his legs and scratching his cheeks with his blunt nails.

“I would be stupid to say no to such a feast.” 

He spread them apart, thumbs digging in the flesh as he flattened his tongue on him. He hated the feeling of lube in his beard but it was an issue for later, for now he only had eyes for the man softly whimpering under him. He licked over his hole, dragging his tongue slowly, first in lines, then in circles, each movement deliberate. He licked his lips as he leaned back a little, thumbs pulling gently on the loose ring of muscle, humming approvingly. 

“Fuck, Nik…You did that well…” He whispered. “I bet I could slide right in to the hilt.”

“Yeah…” Came Nikolai’s voice, strained and raspy. “I hope you will…”

“Don’t be impatient.”

Price groaned, spitting on his hole and latching his mouth on it, licking and sucking on and around it as if his life depended on it, hands tight on his skin, eyes roaming his back. He moaned and grunted against the skin, wishing he could spend the rest of his life here, lying between this man’s thighs to eat his ass. He forced himself to lean back again and to let go before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and removed his clothes hurriedly. Then, he pulled the drawer of the bedside table open, took the lube and poured some on himself. 

“You gonna bareback me, Jonathan ?”

“Yeah…” He groaned, smearing the lube on himself, eyes wandering on the alluring curves of Nik’s body, the muscled shoulders and arms, the skin he could see underneath the tank top, the strong thighs and most of all, the tempting curve of his ass. 

“You want me to fuck you in those little slut jockstraps of yours, Nik ?” He groaned, his gaze drifting to the rest of the room for a second.

“Yeah…”

Price hummed, pleased, and smirked. “Then come here, face this way.” He commanded, helping Nikolai adjust on the bed. 

Once he was facing the right way, still on his stomach, John straddled his thighs and lowered himself on him, letting his slick cock slot between his cheeks, his clean hand tangling in his black hair and tugging his head back, wet hand pointing at something in front of them. 

“Just like that…” He grunted in his ear, kissing the side of his neck, watching Nikolai in the mirror. “I want to see how good I make you feel.”

“Jonathan…” Nikolai moaned as their gaze met on the reflecting glass.

John chuckled again, biting his shoulder gently and adjusting his position over Nikolai so he could keep his hair in hand while using the other to line himself up. He placed another kiss on his neck when he pushed in slowly, pleased by how easily it went in. He kept on kissing and nipping his skin until he was completely inside, hissing in pleasure.

“So nice and loose for me, Nik… Taking me so well.”

He let go of his hair, letting out a pleased sound when he noticed Nik kept on staring at him in the mirror, and pushed himself up, one hand bunching the grey tank top up to uncover his muscled back, the other wrapping around his hip, thumb sliding under the waistband of the jockstraps. He began rocking his hips, watching, entranced, as he disappeared into him again and again with little to no resistance.

He hummed again when he heard Nikolai moan quietly and tore his eyes from where they were connected to look at him in the mirror, putting his weight on the hand he had on his back to force him to stay down.

“You feel so good around me, Nik…” He groaned, going a little faster, eyes locked in his, knowing that talking to him this way riled him up. 

“Jonathan-” Nik moaned, hands clenched on the sheets, eyes half-lidded. 

“You look so good like this…” He grunted, hand tightening around his hip as each thrust sent a wave of pleasure up his spine. “At my mercy. Spread wide around my cock. Leaking in your brand-new underwear. ”

“J-Jonathan, fuck…” 

“And to think…” He murmured, setting a harder pace. “...That I get to come inside you…”

Nikolai clenched down on him, making him moan louder, his eyes falling shut as he rocked his hips, bottoming out every time, the sound of skin on skin echoing in the room with their panting. He let go of his hip and leaned down on him, draping his torso on his back and putting his lips back on his neck and clothed shoulder. He felt him arch under him and groaned in bliss at the angle that enabled him to go deeper, one hand gripping his hair again, the other wrapping loosely around the base of his throat. He moaned and panted against his ear, each sound coming out of Nikolai’s lips vibrating against his hand. 

“Maybe I should clear your schedule more often, if that’s what you do when you have free time.” He hissed, biting the shell of his ear.

“God, yes…” Nikolai whimpered. “If that means you fuck me raw like this every time…”

“You’re filthy…” He chuckled in his ear. 

“I just love your dick…”

“Yeah ?” He hissed, pounding him harder. “You do ?”

“Da-” He moaned, louder this time. “Just like that, Jonathan…”

With a hoarse grunt, Price kept going, making sure the angle was right every time he slammed in, pleasure starting to build-up in his groin. He let his forehead rest on Nik’s shoulder, letting himself be guided by the sounds he made, trying to delay the escalation of his own pleasure. He bit his lower lip and tugged harder on his hair, eliciting a harsh moan from Nikolai, the sound reverberating down to his cock and making him twitch in him. 

“Jonathan…” He gasped. “Don’t stop…”

“You’re close, Nik ?” He purred in his ear, smirking at him in the mirror.

“Yes-”

“You’re gonna come on my cock ?” He hissed.

“Yes, Jonathan…”

“Fuck…” He cursed, closing his eyes for a second. “So hot…” He swallowed hard, nuzzling the side of his face. “Coming untouched in your underwear, like a virgin…”

“Fuck… Jonathan…” He gasped again in a throaty whimper.

“Don’t stop making those delicious sounds, Nik…” John moaned, raw pleasure spreading from his cock every time he drove in.

“You’re gonna… Oh-” 

Nikolai’s hands were clenched so tight on the sheets his joints were white, his arms and shoulders contracted, a thin layer of sweat covering him, his moans getting even hoarser. Price pulled harder on his hair, exposing more of the column of his throat where his second hand tightened slightly.

“Let me feel you, Nik.” He growled. “Come for me, show me how good I make you feel…”

He leaned down and bit on his taut trapezius, sucking the skin between his teeth. 

“Yes, yes- Jonathan-” He cried out, hand shooting up to claw at his wrist as if trying to hold onto him. “I’m-”

John felt Nikolai’s body tense under his, the muscles of his back contracting, and he allowed himself to thrust harder in him.

“Come for me, Nik.”

“Jonathan-”

Price felt him clench down around him as he came, his entrance contracting repeatedly while he moaned louder still, his eyes barely open, his cheeks red, his forehead damp, his hand painful around John’s wrist. 

“Fuck you feel so good- Nik-” He murmured, feeling his own pleasure intensify with the way the Russian man clenched around him. “You want me to come deep in you ?”

He bit his lower lip as Nikolai nodded, hardly able to speak, and hummed against his skin again.

“I’m about to come, Nik…”

He nipped his neck and sucked on the skin again, feeling his orgasm come, his muscles tensing fast. He let go of his throat and took his jaw in a bruising grip, turning his head and crushing their lips together as he stilled all the way in, hips jerking forward as he came, moaning into Nikolai’s mouth. His eyes rolled back as he felt himself empty inside him, the sensation even better without protection, each throb of his cock sending jolts of ecstasy in his whole body. 

He let go of him, gasping for air as he let his forehead rest on his shoulder, ragged moans escaping his lips while he slowly rode out the last of his climax. 

“Fuck… Nik…” He panted, putting his hands on either side of him and relieving him of his weight. 

“Mmh…” Nikolai smiled, a blissful expression on his face. 

Price chuckled, nuzzling his hair and kissing the top of his head. “Have I ever told you you were a devil..?”

“I don’t think you did, no…” He snorted, looking at him in the mirror. 

“You’re a devil.” He grinned, kissing his temple.

“You love it, Jonathan.”

“Especially like that…” He purred into his ear, groping his ass again.

“Awfully vague.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“Let’s say… In these.” He started, hooking a finger in the elastic of the jockstraps and letting it slap back on his skin. “Or filled with my load. Or covered in your own come.” He kissed the sensitive spot just below Nik’s ear. “Or all three.”

“And I am the devil, mh ?”

“Yeah…” He repeated, straightening up on his knees.

He winked in the mirror before slapping Nikolai’s ass and spreading his cheeks, watching intently as he pulled out slowly, bottom lip caught between his teeth. He hummed when he slipped out completely and noticed the way the ring of muscle clenched on nothing, his mind immediately jumping back to how it had clenched hard on him just moments before. He licked his lips and swung his leg over Nikolai, finally kneeling next to him. 

The Russian man rolled on his back with a small grunt and stretched with a little yawn. Price let one of his hands roam on his clothed chest, inching lower and lower until his fingers hit the waistband of the underwear. 

“Nasty…” He chuckled in a low, dark voice, tracing the sticky patch on the black fabric, eyes following it to the glistening hair of his groin. 

“Nothing this good is ever pristine, Jonathan.” Nikolai laughed, propping himself on his elbows, giving himself a glance. “Ever eaten an excellent burger ? Is messy, no ?”

“I can’t say I disagree.” He snorted, running his fingers in his beard and feeling the slimy residue of lube.

“I’ll change your sheets, promise.” 

Price looked down at the spot where he had been lying on his belly and snorted when he noticed a wet stain there too. “Get in the shower before you ruin them.”

“Don’t be like this, Jonathan, I’m on my good side.”

“No you’re not.” He raised an eyebrow, bursting out laughing when it seemed to dawn on Nik.

“Ah… Was easier with condoms, this.”

“We can always go back to them.” He said as he stood up, stretching in his turn. 

“And miss out on feeling every vein of your cock ? Nyet.”

“Then come on, let’s get you clean.”

Nikolai rolled his eyes and stood up, much to Price’s amusement, and they went to take a shower. Once clean and dry, John took clothes from his wardrobe, put them on and checked the time. 

“Just in time for my next meeting.” He said with a sigh.

“Chin up !” Nikolai smiled, kissing his cheek and crashing back in bed, still naked. 

“Slacker.” He grinned, snorting when Nik flipped him off. “Keep your promise, I’m expecting fresh sheets when I come home tonight.”

“Whatever.”

He left with a smile and came back two hours later after the meeting of the steering committee with paperwork, a new set of responsibilities and a raging headache. He was more than happy when Nikolai offered to make dinner and even happier when he didn’t ask about how the meeting went. When he entered the bedroom, later, a wide grin split his face when he saw the white sheets.

“So you did keep your promise, russki.” He chuckled while he undressed.

“Of course, who do you take me for ?”

“Shut up.” He smirked as he slapped his ass before collapsing on the bed.

Nikolai gasped exaggeratedly and followed suit with a laugh. “What about ‘thank you’ ?”

“In your dreams.” Price snorted, pulling the cover on them. 

But once they were comfortable, he smiled gently and kissed Nikolai. “ Spasibo .”

“ Pozhaluysta .” He smiled back, mechanically pulling on his necklace not to tug on it in his sleep. John nodded to it curiously.

“You never take it off, do you ?”

“No.” He answered, lifting it to eye level. “Why would I ?”

“It looks dear to you.” He whispered, brushing a finger on it.

“Da. Is why I never take it off.”

“Aren’t you scared of losing it on the field ?” 

Nikolai shrugged a little. “No. The clasp is sturdy, I’ve never lost it yet.”

“Fair enough.” Price smiled again, the question of its origins on his lips, and as always, Nik read his mind.

“A gift of my babusya . When…” He paused and bit his lower lip, hesitating.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Nik.”

“No, I want to tell you.” He nodded. “When my… When they were sure they wouldn’t have any more children, my babusya gifted us all a gold chain like this one. It has…” He used one hand to find the clasp and put it right behind his neck, his other hand going to the opposite link. “...Our initials engraved on the middle link.”

John leaned closer, taking the chain in hand and squinting a little to see three engraved letters: H, O, P. He frowned, slightly confused.

“Why is it ‘H’, ‘O’ and ‘P’ ? I mean, ‘O’ I understand but the others ?”

“Ah...” Nikolai chuckled a little, visibly amused. “Is not ‘H’ and ‘P’, Jonathan. Is cyrilic letters for ‘N’ and ‘R’.”

“Oh.” He said, snorting, the amusement soon replaced by a pang of sadness. “I understand why you cherish it so much.” He smiled kindly.

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Was panicked when I noticed it wasn’t around my neck after the surgery.”

“I get why.” He placed his hand on Nik’s side, stroking his skin slowly. “So your real name starts with a N too.”

“Nosy.” He smirked.

“You’re the one who showed me your initials.” He chuckled.

“Perhaps is my real name.” He shrugged, a mischievous spark in his eyes.

“I doubt your file would be half-redacted and half-missing if it was.”

“But Nikolai is good, no ?”

“Yeah.” Price nodded, scooting closer and kissing his forehead. “I got used to it, anyway. I like it.”

“I like how you say it, too.” 

“Aren’t you a romantic ?” John snorted.

“...Especially when I’m rearranging your guts.”

“Filthy bastard.”

Chapter Text

The days went by quickly and turned into weeks, which turned into months and faster than everyone expected, MacMillan was promoted major. Consequently, the position of captain opened and just as he had predicted with the more and more arduous and time-consuming tasks MacMillan had given him the past year, Price was offered the position. He was given new instructions, new responsibilities and new objectives during the two months period that preceded his official promotion, as well as an obligation to stay on base during this period. It proved painful for his whole unit: not a single one of the men he had under his responsibility appreciated being grounded and just like him, they grew more and more restless the longer they had to stay put. 

For that reason -among others- Price was relieved when the promotion day finally came. He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of having a ceremony, small as it might be, but it was part of the deal and added to the folklore that helped strengthen the bonds within the unit. For the occasion, everyone had donned their dress uniform: a navy blue two-piece set with a light blue stripe on the trousers, a stable belt of the same light blue and a sand coloured beret with the SAS insignia. The unit gathered on one of the grassy parts of the SAS side of the base, where a small stage with a lectern had been put up. In the late afternoon of the last days of summer, the temperature was slowly decreasing, an especially pleasant feat given the uniform they had to wear. 

John climbed on the stage and watched as his men formed ranks while the newly appointed Major MacMillan placed a few sheets of paper on the lectern. When everything was ready, they all stood to attention for MacMillan to start. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, fellow soldiers, dear friends, today, we gather to honor the promotion of Lieutenant Jonathan Price to the rank of Captain - an achievement hard-won and well-deserved. John has trained tirelessly, mastered countless skills, honed his physical and mental abilities from early mornings to late nights. He has served and protected our nation and people through blood, sweat and sacrifice, showed great resilience and unwavering dedication to ultimately become the man he is now, the leader you know.”

Price felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips, almost cracking his serious mask and letting pride show underneath. MacMillan had always been fair to him, not overly praising nor unduly criticising, and it made him feel warm -yet a little embarrassed- to hear such appreciative words from him.

“We know him as a remarkable man for his bravery, for his commitment, for his achievements, but we also know him for the camaraderie he brought to this unit, for the unbreakable bond he forged with each and every one of you and for the strength he uncovered: the one that lies in teamwork and unity.”

At these words, John saw his men and women look up at him. Look up to him. He observed each of them in exchange, trying to communicate through his eyes how proud he was of them, of what they had accomplished as a team. From the most recent addition to those who had been here the longest, from the friends he made along the way to the ones he still barely knew. From Simon Riley he had yet to pierce the defenses of, to Nikolai he could now call his partner.

“As we celebrate this step forward in your career, John, we don’t just celebrate a title, but a testament to all it represents: a pledge to a cause greater than yourself, a paragon of humility in the face of defeat, a beacon of courage, a leader. And most of all, John, a simple man.”

Price nodded when the major turned to him with a bright smile, a lump forming in his throat as his breath hitched with emotion. 

“Congratulations, Captain. We are all proud of you and look forward to witnessing the impact you will continue to make with this new title.”

“You flatter me, Major.” Price grinned while the unit clapped, trying to reign in the deep pride and humility he felt after such a positive speech.

“You deserve it, John.” He answered in a lower voice before turning back to the audience. “Now for the promotion order. At ease, soldiers.”

Price regained his seriousness and changed position as MacMillan started reading the order. He himself had read it at least twice and he let his mind wander, the major’s voice blurring into the background noise of the base. His eyes unfocused, thoughts going to the next part of the ceremony: the pinning. Selfishly, he had chosen Nikolai to pin the new insignia on his uniform. His heart started beating faster at the implications. Usually, soldiers chose their mentor in a sign of gratitude and humbleness, to complete the circle; only the ones who chose their spouse didn’t. MacMillan hadn’t even made a comment on his will to have Nikolai do the pinning instead, not a joke, not a word of gentle annoyment, nothing that could have made Price think he disapproved of it. His eyes focused back on the major who was still reading. He should have chosen Mac. Should have proven his goodwill. He looked at Nikolai, nervousness slowly seeping into his veins. But he chose to make a long overdue statement. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when the soldiers applauded again and stood to attention on the major’s command right before he invited Nikolai to join them on the stage. With every step the Russian man took, Price’s heart thumped harder, his whole body growing tense. He forced himself to breathe slower, willed his hands to stop trembling at his sides, and forced a smile on his face when both of them approached him. MacMillan said a few words and handed Nikolai the insignia, who took it reverently and stepped closer to Price. The way Nik was smiling to him -proud, respectful and loving- turned his own forced rictus into a genuine, fond smile. God , he thought, what was he about to do for this man ?  

Nikolai pinned the insignia over his heart carefully and just like he had learnt from the protocol, stepped to the side so everyone could see. Everyone started clapping and cheering, but the sound barely reached Price’s brain over the deafening beat of his racing heart. He turned a little closer to Nikolai and smiled at him before taking his face in his hands and kissing him. 

The hum Nikolai made and the way his large hands found his waist made his chest swell, and when they parted soon after, John leaned his forehead against Nikolai’s.

“I love you.” He whispered before reopening his eyes and turning back to the soldiers, another forced smile on his features to hide how extremely nervous he was.

But despite what he had thought, it wasn’t a disgusted, disappointed audience he saw. It was just… his unit. Smiling. Cheering. Applauding. His eyes immediately went back to MacMillan, fear gripping his gut but dissolving right away when he noticed the major smiling knowingly. For the first time in years, he felt that perhaps they could be themselves. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as he had expected. He smiled at Nikolai again. Perhaps they would be okay.

He stepped forward to the lectern, preparing for a short speech. He took a second to look at the audience again, at the men and women he trained, supervised, and trusted with his own life. 

“Soldiers.” He began, catching their attention again. “I want to thank you all for the support you’ve shown me, not only today as I become your new captain, but every day since you’ve joined this unit. You have shown me the true meaning of unity and devotion, proved to me time and time over that coworkers can become friends. I’ve seen you grow stronger, faster and smarter. I’ve seen you learn to forget yourself in favor of your teammates. I’ve seen you become better women, better men. I am proud to call you my unit, my team, my family.”

He smiled and nodded at them once. “Today marks a new chapter for me and I will remain  forever grateful for every moment we shared along this journey. As a captain, I want us to keep striving forward, to keep lifting each other higher and to keep facing challenges no matter the outcome. Who dares win.”

His smile grew wider when they started clapping again and he chuckled, not being used to being the center of attention. 

“And I will add one final thing: my first decision as a captain is to appoint a new lieutenant.” He looked at the only masked man in the audience and locked his gaze in his piercing one. “And for this position, I’ve chosen Sergeant Simon Riley.” All the looks turned to the burly man and Price saw him nod gratefully, to which he smiled. 

“Now to your favourite part: drinks.” 

He laughed and let out a relieved sigh when the ranks broke and they all started walking to the table set further away. He turned back to Nikolai and MacMillan, who were chatting quietly.

“I knew you two would get along just fine.” The major declared with a smirk and John made a soft embarrassed noise.

“Jesus Mac…” He groaned, rolling his eyes. 

“I knew you were a romantic one, but I would have never expected Nikolai to follow along.” He winked.

“I never said I did, Major.” Nikolai grinned.

“True.” MacMillan chuckled, then turned to face Price again, his hand squeezing his shoulder. “I’m proud of you John.”

It was a simple sentence, really, one he had heard during all the ceremony. Yet spoken softly by his long-time friend and mentor like this, it made John emotional. His heart clenched with pride and happiness and he realised at this moment that he considered MacMillan like some sort of work father. 

“Thank you, Mac.” He said, throat tight. “I mean it.”

They joined the others around the table and toasted to Price’s promotion and Simon’s nomination, to teamwork and friendship and to the simple pleasure of sharing a drink with people who mattered. They spent a little over an hour chatting, laughing and rejoicing over the fact that they would soon be sent on overseas operations again before the first people started leaving. It was a Friday, after all, most of the men and women left base for the week-end to spend time with their friends and families, and in truth Price didn’t really care: he was tired from the week gone by and more than a little impatient to finally be out of the spotlight. Nikolai grabbed his arm gently when he took his leave.

“I just need to grab something from the Black Hawk, I’ll be home soon.” He whispered with a mischievous smile.

“No problem, Nik.” He nodded.

While he walked back to the flat and enjoyed the setting sun, he couldn’t help but notice how much lighter he felt. The idea of not having to hide anymore, of not jumping at every sound, of not feeling like they were doing something wrong when they showed each other affection in public… It was freeing. He remembered the faces of the men and women in the unit and the lack of judgement, their indifference at seeing him kiss another man. It made him giddy and he found himself still grinning when he reached home. 

Nikolai probably wouldn’t be long so he rinsed two heavy bottom glasses and put them in the freezer to chill while he took out a bottle of his favourite whisky and placed it on the coffee table. He removed his shoes and opened the jacket of his uniform as he dropped on the couch with a heavy sigh. While he waited, he grabbed his book and made the most of this silent pause to read. He stood up after about ten pages to get the glasses out of the freezer and frowned when he caught the time. Nikolai should have been here already. Of course he had to go back to the hangar and then here, but it didn’t take 20 minutes to do so. He put the glasses on the coffee table, poured the whisky and dropped two chilling stones in each one before whipping out his phone and sending him a short text asking if everything was okay. He started reading again while he waited for an answer, but none came. He had the time to read another ten pages before a knock echoed on the door and the Russian man stepped in. Price put the book down and turned on the couch with a smirk. 

“Got lost on your way b-” He immediately dropped his smile and frowned when he saw him. “Bloody hell Nik, what happened ?”

“Eh…” Nikolai shrugged, putting his own uniform jacket on the hook and coming to the couch with a smile, one hand in his back. “Nothing that couldn’t be handled.”

“Bullshit.” 

His shirt was open almost to the middle, buttons ripped off, one side of it starkly stained with dark blood splatters. John’s gaze went back up to his face, his frown deepening as he examined it. He could see a crack in his lip and dried blood just under one of his nostrils as if he had wiped a nosebleed off.

“First things first.” Nikolai smiled, bringing his hand forward. “This is for you. Congratulations, Captain Jonathan Price.” 

John snorted a little at the sight of a single red rose and a small box reading Premium Cuban Cigar .

“Thank you, Nik.” He chuckled as the Russian man sat next to him on the couch.

“I had a whole bouquet but… Well, let’s say it faced unfortunate circumstances.” 

Price sighed and grabbed the glasses, handing one to Nikolai. “Here. Now tell me what happened.” He grumbled, clinking glasses and having a sip. 

“As you probably guessed, I had hidden those in the Black Hawk so I went to get them before coming here, yes ? Well on my way back I met someone who wasn’t very uh…” Price saw him make the amber liquid swirl in his glass while he was preparing the cigar. “Receptive to us.”

“What is this supposed to mean ?” Price frowned again, putting the cigar between his lips and lighting it up slowly.

“Let’s just say he wasn’t particularly happy that we were both men.” He said, making a meh face. “Said we were sissies, fairies and other words I forgot. I kindly told him to get lost, he did not, and then he got all angry because I wasn’t offended by his show of homophobic slurs, so…”

Nikolai made a face that Price didn’t like. This was where it had gone south, apparently. 

“He claimed he could show me what a real man was and hit me to prove it.” He said, gesturing to his face and bloody shirt. “Hence the blood.” He shrugged.

“Who was it ?” He hissed, anger flaring up in him. 

“Nyet. Let me finish.” He shook his head. “So I said he was the one punching like a faggot and I punched him back. He wasn’t happy. Not at all.” He chuckled. “And even less so when I kicked his ass.”

“Who was it, Nik ?”

“Eh…” He shrugged, taking another sip of his whiskey. “Just a dumb guy.”

“From our team, which makes it my problem too. Who was it ?”

“Forget it for now, Jonathan.” He said, lifting a hand and brushing the side of his face with the back of two fingers gently. “You’ll see on Monday.”

“How am I supposed to know who it is if you don’t tell me ?” He mumbled, unhappy. 

“Oh you don’t need me to.” He smirked smugly. “He’ll have at least one black eye and maybe even his nose broken. The embodiment of beaten black and blue.” 

John took a long drag on the cigar, not even appreciating it. That was exactly why they had kept their relationship hidden all this time. And now, only because he had been selfish and stupid it had started having repercussions. Already. He cursed internally as he exhaled the smoke. Dimwit.

“I can hear you think, Jonathan.” 

Price just hummed, angry, upset and full of regrets. He looked at Nikolai when he took the cigar from his lips and put it in his own, blue eyes following the gesture. 

“Yeah…” He muttered, resigned. 

“You should stop. It doesn’t matter.” He declared, hand settling at the back of his neck and rubbing light circles there. “It’s done. He lost. He’ll be given a heavy disciplinary sanction. Everything okay.” 

“Yeah..”

“Is just a little blood and a few buttons.” He smiled.

John snorted with a shake of his head, eyes falling on the stain and following down the V of the opening.

“I suppose, yeah.” 

“And tonight we’ve got good whisky and a good cigar and I think that’s more than enough, no ?” He smirked again, handing the cigar to Price again. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, trying to relax as he took the cigar back and tapped the ashes in the ashtray. 

“Life could be worse.” Nikolai grinned, not stopping his gentle massage of the back of his neck. 

“Definitely.” John agreed, closing his eyes. Ever since that night, his mind associated the relaxing touch on the nape of his neck with hot sex and he couldn’t help the spark of desire that it ignited in him. He let out a soft groan, allowing himself to relax completely.

“Also, I wanted to thank you, Jonathan. I was happy to live discreetly with you, but it feels even better this way.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled, reopening his eyes, thinking back about the way he had kissed him on the stage. He felt his chest and neck flush when he remembered he had confessed his love, for real this time, seriously, the whole ‘i love you’ deal, then and there. Idiot.

“Come here.” Nikolai whispered, pulling on his neck to bring him closer. He removed the cigar from his mouth again and pressed his lips against his gently at first before parting them and licking his way in. John hummed into the kiss, his hand finding Nik’s waist and resting there. They smiled at each other when they broke the kiss.

“I love you too, Jonathan.” He murmured, voice low and slightly hoarse. 

Price’s eyes drifted lower again as he nodded, wanting to explore the skin hidden by the shirt even though he already knew it by heart. His hand went from his waist to his collarbone, slowly caressing down, slipping under the fabric. Nikolai didn’t stop his ministrations, his other hand holding the cigar when he wasn’t pulling from it. 

John finished his glass and put it down on the table, his now free hand landing on Nik’s thigh. With the one he had under the shirt, he cupped his pec gently and rubbed the pad of his thumb on his nipple. 

“Thinking about making tonight even better ?” The Russian man gasped softly.

“Yeah...” Price grinned, looking up and kissing him again. 

“Did you have something specific in mind ?” He asked, his fingers tangling with the short hair at the base of his head and tugging a little. 

“Not really, no.” He groaned, hand tightening on his thigh. “I planned on exploring your skin until you squirmed before making another decision.”

“Then…” Nikolai pulled him closer again and whispered right into his ear. “Are you open to suggestions, Jonathan ?”

“I am.” Price shivered at the soft-spoken words and the endless possibilities crossing his mind. 

“Get on your knees.” 

Nikolai’s commanding voice, leaving no room for negotiation, sent a spark of arousal right into his rapidly stiffening cock. He nodded and licked his lips when Nik spread his thighs and pushed the coffee table farther with one foot. Then, he climbed down the couch and knelt between his legs, hands running up them. 

“You’ve been the center of attention all afternoon, Jonathan.” Nikolai started and removed the beret from John’s head before opening his own belt with one hand. 

“Jealous ?” Price chuckled, stealing the cigar back.

“Nyet.” Nik smirked, using both hands now to undo his trousers. “But is time you remembered who you belong to.”

“Mh ?” John raised a playful eyebrow while he took a drag of the cigar before putting it down in the ashtray. “Who makes you think you’re entitled to do this ?”

“Myself.” He grinned, palming himself through his underwear.

Price bit his lower lip, eyes shooting back up to Nik’s face with unrestrained need.

“Open.”

He obeyed and opened his mouth, watching as Nikolai uncorked the whiskey and poured some in his mouth. He was about to swallow it when he stopped him.

“I’m not finished.” He growled, his voice low. 

John breathed through his nose patiently as Nik gripped his jaw firmly and bent over him, kissing his cheek, the corner of his lips and biting his bottom lip with a smirk before spitting in his mouth. He whimpered pathetically, straining in his trousers. 

“Now you can swallow.”

Price closed his mouth, his gaze still locked in Nik’s, and swallowed everything eagerly. He let out a shaky sigh then, impatient, and opened his mouth again when the Russian man pressed the cold stones between his lips.

“Keep those for me for a second, mh ?” He whispered, leaning back on the couch, pushing his hand down his boxers and pulling himself out. John groaned, his own trousers definitely too tight now at the sight of such a proud desire. 

”Damn, Jonathan…” He hissed, slowly stroking himself to full hardness. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your pretty blue eyes so dilated before… Such a slut…”

The slur made Price’s head spin with lust, a muffled sound coming out from his throat, his tongue pressing the stones against his palate. Then, Nikolai held out his open hand and he dropped the stones in it.

“Open wider.” He ordered, one hand angling himself down, the other settling on the back of Price’s neck, holding him close. 

He obeyed, gaze locked in Nikolai’s, desire coursing through him fast. A whimper escaped his throat when Nik tapped his tip on his tongue a few times before slowly pushing in with a groan. He cursed internally at the amazing feeling of the scorching hot cock filling his mouth, highly contrasting with the cold of the stones. He hummed and resisted the gentle pressure on his head when he reached his limit, but it only seemed to make Nikolai smirk wider. 

“Oh no, you’re not stopping here, Jonathan. I know you can take more.” He growled, pushing on his head again. 

Price felt a surge of lust at his words and closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax his jaw and throat as he took more of his length. He let out another whimper not long after -any further and he would gag. The hand on his neck shifted to his hair and gripped it tight.

“Do you trust me, Jonathan ?” Nik asked. “I’m not pulling out, so either use your hands or blink once for yes, twice for no.”

John reopened his eyes and looked up, blinking once. Every little thing the Russian man was doing and saying was setting his body ablaze. Never had he taken advantage of him like this and God was it arousing. 

“Good.” He smirked, mischief written all over his face. 

He pushed him further down his cock. Price moaned in protest and gagged, tears welling up in his eyes. Nikolai kept him here for a second then tugged his head back and the look of satisfaction on his face finished to make John’s erection painful. 

“Good. Relax and breathe through your nose, Jonathan. Get used to the sensations while we’re still starting, yes ?”

Price blinked once, heart racing, his lover’s plan clear in his head now. He blinked again once when he asked him if he was ready and whimpered when he forced him down again, trying not to gag -and failing. He breathed hard through his nose when he pushed him back, his mouth filling with saliva. 

“Are you okay ?”

He blinked yes again. He wasn’t used to it, but the way it made his blood boil told him he never wanted to stop. 

“Think you can take it for a second or two longer ?”

He thought about it a little, then blinked once. The hand in his hair tightened slightly and the other caressed his cheek.

“You will choke, Jonathan.” Nikolai whispered. “If it gets too much, tap my thigh, yes ?”

He blinked yes again, his heart pounding in his ribcage. Slower this time, Nik pushed his head down and he gagged, yet he kept pushing him down and when he tried to breathe through his nose, no air filtered through. He gagged again and whimpered, eyes widening for a second before Nik pulled him away again.

“Good little slut …” He grinned, sending shivers down John’s spine. 

Nikolai did it again a few times, each time adding a second or two until Price’s gag reflex started getting accustomed to the intrusion. 

“Are you okay, Jonathan ?” He smirked, to which Price blinked once. “Is your jaw aching ?” He blinked yes again. “Mh… Too bad.” He chuckled darkly. “Put these hands to use. Get yourself out of your trousers and show me how good it feels for you.”

John whimpered around the length in his mouth and blindly reached for his belt, unbuckling it hurriedly and opening his dress pants. He moaned when Nik pushed him down, eyes watering when he started to choke, the feeling of his tip at the back of his throat almost too good to bear now that he had stopped gagging. He pulled himself out with shaky hands and wrapped one around his cock, moaning again. 

He breathed when the Russian man pulled him back and relished the blissed out look on his face. He blinked once when he asked him if he was ready to take it up a notch and started stroking himself when Nikolai used both his hands to force him down again. He groaned around him, eyes rolling back when his nose reached the coarse hair at his base and bumped on his pubic bone. His throat clenched around him as he started choking and the moan it tore out of Nikolai made him twitch in his hand. He kept him there for a few more seconds and only pulled him back when he whined, this time pushing him completely off. Price gasped, looking up at him with a grin, glad for the opportunity to relax his jaw.

“Look at you, Jonathan…” He chuckled, caressing the side of his face with the back of his hand. “So hard just from choking on my cock…”

“What can I say ?” He answered, stroking himself lazily. “You turn me on so much when you make these beautiful sounds…”

“Then come back here and I’ll make some more, just for you.”

Price bit his lip and smiled before opening his lips again and taking him as deep as he could, Nikolai helping him go further with his hands. 

“Fuck yeah…” He groaned, eyes locked in John's. “Pleasure yourself for me, Jonathan.”

Price whimpered, the sound muffled by the length blocking his airways, and accelerated the movement of his hand.

“No wonder you ranked up today, you follow orders so well…” Nik whispered, letting go of his hair to let him slide back a little. “Ranked up on cock-sucking too, mh ?” 

John closed his eyes, the arousal from the words and moves of Nik intensifying the pleasure of his hand on himself. He felt hands push on his head again and he took a deep breath before taking him completely once more, saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth, hand working faster. When he started choking and whining this time, Nikolai didn’t let go of him; he kept him there longer, grunting, his eyebrows furrowed, his lips parted, hands massaging his scalp. His throat clenched down and he whimpered, his heart starting to beat faster with the panic of lacking oxygen.

“Just like that…” The Russian man purred. “The good Captain Price taking me balls-deep…”

John choked again in an attempt to moan and Nik released his head, only making him moan louder, his mind slowly growing cloudy with pleasure, his hand not slowing down on himself. He kept his eyes into Nikolai’s, trying to communicate to him how much he loved everything about this moment: the blind trust he had in him, the commanding voice Nik used, how he looked from where John was kneeling, the way his voice broke when he moaned, how hard he was just from being used, the pleasure he gave himself with his own hand, the exhibitionistic glee of watching Nikolai watch him. Everything.

Pleasure was starting to make his thighs tremble, each time he stroked his hand over his head tearing a needy whine from his abused throat. He knew he wouldn’t last long, too aroused from being dominated and bossed around. He gasped and breathed hard when Nikolai pushed him off his member once more, slightly confused, his own hand halting.

“Move back a little.” He ordered in a curt tone, using his foot to push the coffee table further away again.

John obeyed, barely able to think clearly anymore, his body burning with aching desire. He licked his lips when Nikolai stood up, wondering where he was going, soon realising he wasn’t going anywhere when he beckoned him closer with one hand. He straightened on his knees to be at the right height and hummed when the Russian man rubbed his spit-covered tip on his swollen lips.

“Now that you’re ready, Jonathan, I’m going to fuck your face.” He declared, voice raspy. “You will stay still and let me take my pleasure like a good little slut, yes ?” 

John cursed, cock twitching in interest. “I will.” He moaned. 

Nikolai grinned, something feral and unhinged, and leaned down to kiss his lips hungrily. “I’m gonna come down your throat.” He hissed against his lips, holding his jaw firmly. “And you’re gonna swallow it all, won’t you Captain ?”

“Fuck yes Nik.” He whimpered, panting, need and anticipation brought to a fever pitch.

“And you’re gonna make yourself come on that pristine uniform while I use your mouth.” He ordered, tangling his hands in John’s hair. “Now open wide, Captain .”

Price obeyed, eyes locked in Nikolai’s while he pushed his cock in his mouth again.

“Touch yourself.” He ordered again and his hand moved as if it had its own will, a strangled whimper escaping his lips, his left hand joining the first between his legs to play with balls. “Remember, tap my thigh if it’s too much, da ?”

John blinked once and the next second he was choking on cock again. His jaw protested and his throat clenched, his eyes watered and saliva dripped down his chin but he stayed still, working himself slowly, pleasure already way too high. He never once took his gaze away from his lover’s face, obscene noises coming muffled out of his throat each time Nik thrusted in, his brows furrowed, curses in Russian and hoarse moans falling from his own lips. The hands in his hair tightened and Nikolai went faster, moaned louder, John taking this cue to stroke himself faster, tighter. He felt too hot, his lungs burnt and his throat ached but he didn’t care. The pleasure he felt from being commanded, from being watched, from being used was too good to stop. He fondled his balls slightly tighter, his moans lost among the wet, sinful noises of the cock sliding in and out of his mouth rapidly. 

“Oh- Oh Jonathan…” Nikolai groaned, rolling his hips slightly slower, panting. “I’m gonna come…”

Price blinked once in acknowledgement, his hand stroking himself faster, the edge closing in on him quickly.

“I’m gonna bury my dick completely in that pretty mouth, Jonathan.” He hissed. “And I want you to come while I do it.” 

John whimpered, toes curling in his boots as he stroked himself to orgasm, watching intently through the tears as Nik’s mouth opened in a loud grunt when he stilled deep in his throat, John’s nose pressed against his pelvis. He felt himself coming and his eyes rolled back in his skull when the cock in his mouth throbbed, hot spurts of semen blocking his airways, his own hips bucking up in his hand as pleasure overwhelmed him. 

Wave after wave of ecstasy washed over him each time his balls clenched, the slightest tremors of his fingers sparking a jolt of pleasure in his core.

After what felt like an eternity, his mind started to clear up and with it came the horrifying sensation of drowning. He reopened his eyes, blinking away the tears, and let out a choked whimper. Nikolai immediately released the grip he had on his hair and John moved back, trying to swallow and breathe in at the same time. He coughed, finally freeing his airways and taking a proper breath before sighing and looking back up at Nik with a soft smile.

“Oh God…” The Russian man let out in a tired sigh while he stepped back and let himself fall down on the couch. 

“Yeah.” Price said in a rough voice, nodding while he wiped his chin with his sleeve. 

“You did well.” Nik smiled at him. “Maybe next time I’ll have you salute before I slide into your mouth.”

“God, Nik…” John snorted, rolling his eyes. 

“I didn’t know you liked being commanded like this, Jonathan.” He smirked, patting the couch next to him.

“To be completely honest…” He started, groaning when he stood up as his knees protested in pain. “Me neither.”

“And you obeyed so well too.” Nik chuckled, trailing a finger on John’s now stained uniform jacket. 

“I’m an overachiever.” Price grinned, took Nikolai’s hand in his clean one and kissed his palm. “I thought you’d know that by now.” 

“Da, now I know.” 

“God…” Price sighed again before wiping his hand on his uniform pants and grabbing the bottle of whisky. “I’m knackered.”

“Are you hungry ?” 

John took a sip from the bottle and nodded. 

“Want to order something ? I’ll get it at the gates.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, glad for the initiative, and handed Nik the bottle.

“Fancy something in particular ?” He asked, taking a swig while he browsed their options. John shook his head with a yawn. “I’ll get whatever then.” Nikolai smiled and placed an order, tossing his phone next to him on the couch. 

“Wanna shower while the food comes ?” Price offered.

“Da.” 

They chatted and laughed while they took a quick shower, back to their usual teasing and small talk and lighter subjects, the tension from earlier completely dissipated by the time they were back in the living room, and the evening went by quickly with the addition of good food and a little more alcohol. It all seemed to slow down again when they lay facing each other in bed, just like they had on many nights before. The silence and semi-obscurity brought out a hushed fondness, one reserved for Nikolai where every shared breath felt like a whispered secret, where something as simple as caressing his face became a deeply intimate act.

John knew that being there, lying in bed with the man he loved, was the only moment he was completely bare, body and soul. Every night he could watch Nikolai’s drowsy expression, his tired half-smile and his gentle eyes made John’s heart swell with renewed affection and this particular night wasn’t any different.

“Nikolai.” He whispered, as if afraid to break the fragile instant. 

“Yes, Jonathan ?” He smiled, his voice already slightly hoarse with slumber.

“I love you.” 

Nikolai’s eyes crinkled at the corner and John’s whole body warmed up when he responded. 

“I love you.” 

Price had almost forgotten about the incident by the time Monday came. It was reminded to him the second he looked up from his laptop as the men and women of his unit started arriving in the meeting room. As always, he stood up and stepped around the table, folding his arms and leaning back on it, but this morning he also felt his pulse quicken in anger as the last soldier closed the door and sat way too quietly for someone usually so shameless. Price’s jaw clenched as he observed the swollen face, the black eyes, the wound closure strips on his brow, the visible scab on his lip.

“Riley.” John called calmly, nodding to the door leading to the storage room adjoining the meeting room they were in.

He walked to it and watched as Simon closed the door behind him. 

“Yes, Captain ?” He asked in a low voice.

“Grab Ridge after the meeting, please. Make sure he does not leave.”

“Yes, Sir.” 

Price caught the slight frown on his face and knew Simon’s mind was already trying to figure out exactly why he was ordered this. He also knew he could trust him to dirty his hands if needed, and needed it would be.

They exited the small room and John proceeded with the meeting. For the first time in two months, he could announce to them they would be deployed soon. He presented them the repartition of the teams, the locations, the intel they already had and what was left to be done before they could fly out of the country. After a little over an hour, he finished by giving them the time of the next meetings and mission overviews and called it off. He casually sat back behind the desk and patiently waited for Simon to bring the man back. 

“Ah, Connor “ Gator ” Ridge.” He said, adjusting his boonie hat as Simon closed the door and pushed the man to the storage room. He followed close behind him and locked them in the cramped up space.

“What is this about Captain ?” The man asked, folding his arms way less cockily than he would have usually done.

“Care to tell me where you got these ?” He asked, trying to reign his fury in as he gestured towards his face. 

“Drank too much this week-end, Sir, got into a pub fight.”

“Bloody Hell.” He chuckled humorlessly, folding his own arms and whistling, looking at Simon. “Can you believe that Riley ?”

“Not really, Captain.” 

“Is your nose broken ?” John asked, eyes on the tiny scab on the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, but not displaced, Sir.”

Price nodded, humming, and unfolded his arms to adjust his hat again before throwing a punch in his face, the bone giving with a sickening crunch as Gator let out a loud cry. 

“It should be displaced just fine now.” He hissed, a deep satisfaction erupting in him at the sight of blood gushing from his nostrils. “Don’t ever lie to me again, Connor. Especially not when you’ve done something this serious.”

“Captain-” He tried to protest, fingers pressing his nostrils closed to try and reduce the blood flow.

“You’ve got a problem with me, you say it to my bloody face.” He licked his lips, forcing himself to breathe slowly before he lost control of his rage. He turned to the masked man, who was observing the scene silently, unfazed. “Let me recontextualize this for you, Riley. Friday night, when Nikolai came to my place, someone had attacked him for being gay and he wouldn’t tell me who.”

“A piece of shit, surely.”

“Yeah, exactly.” John nodded. “Told Nik we were fairies and… something else. Ah…” He shook his head and glared at Gator. “What was it again ? What did the little bitch say to the Russian faggot ?”

“I don’t know Sir...” Gator said in a weak voice, worry now etched on his face.

“I told you not to lie to me. What did you tell Nikolai ?”

“I told him I’d… show him what a real man was.” The man mumbled.

“Right.” Price nodded, looking back at Simon with a shrug. “But of course this piece of shit wasn’t a real man and Nikolai handed him his ass. So, perhaps you could show Connor what a real man is, Sergeant Riley ?”

“With pleasure, Captain.”

“Five minutes.” John said with a sharp nod. “The incident report will be written and sent.”

He stepped out of the storage room, closed the door and heard the lock turn again. With a sigh, he sat behind the desk and started typing the report, anger fading away slowly as he manipulated the truth into something slightly more convenient to the state Gator would be in when he would reach the cells. He signed the document and sent it to his superiors just as the lock clicked open. 

“Ah, here you go.” He said, noticing the new red marks on his face that would soon start to bruise. “Lesson learnt, Ridge ?”

“Yes, Sir.” He groaned, head hanging low in humiliation.

“Thank you Sergeant.” He nodded to Simon and pointed at his bloody knuckles. “Get yourself cleaned up and bring Ridge to the detention office, please. The Colonel should be there to welcome you with a pretty little report for misconduct towards a superior officer.”

“Yes, Captain.” Simon nodded, pushing the man forward. “Don’t force me to handcuff you, move.”

John watched as both men left the room and he sighed, taking out his phone.

9:34

Good riddance to bad rubbish. I should have known it was Gator. Knew he couldn’t be trusted.

9:35

thank you

9:35

I think we won’t see that asshole for a LONG time.

9:36