Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Peter Parker is many things.

A son, an intern, a journalist and your friendly-neighborhood Spider-Man. 

Now add dimension-traveler and chauffeur. An incident between Peter and his best friends, Ned and MJ, led to Peter stumbling into the DC universe.

(Peter, MJ and Ned sit at the table, an awkward silence settling in. A pile of legos are scattered on the table. The group of friends know this is goodbye, yet none of them speaks it into the universe.

”So what did the doc say?” Ned asks, sparing a glance at the lego manual. He swings his legs from where he’s sitting, brushing the ground. 

Peter fiddles with the lego starship in his hands. “Dr. Strange will erase everyone’s memory of Peter Parker…but there might be some drawbacks. It’s dangerous to bend reality.” 

MJ stills. “Drawbacks? You never mentioned anything about that.” 

Peter hesitates, but the serious expression on his friend’s faces pushes him. “There’s a chance that our universe will see me as an anomaly and try to get rid of me through unnatural circumstances.”

Ned looks uneasy, “Tell me the doc has a solution. There’s no way you would still go through with this if he didn’t.”

“Ah…well, Dr. Strange proposed sending me to another universe, where Peter Parker doesn’t exist. Something about balance between universes. He didn’t explain the specifics, I probably wouldn’t have understood anyways.” Peter huffs, he hated how adults assume he wouldn’t get it because he was still a kid. In this case, Dr. Strange was probably right. Peter didn’t get most magician terms.

Ned perked up, “Woah! So you’ll be some sort of time-traveler?”

”Dimension traveler.” Peter corrects, the corners of his lips twitching; threatening a smile.

Ned’s thoughtful expression falls as he breaks into a grin, “Please tell me you still have Mr. Stark’s ancient copies of Batman?” Tony Stark’s grief still weighs heavy on their hearts, yet they find that mentioning him helps them more than it does to avoid the topic.

Peter pauses for dramatic effect, “You’re not saying what I think you are…are you?” Peter feels giddy, finding a bit of light in a grim situation. He knows about Ned’s newfound ability to open portals.

”Dude that’s exactly what I am saying!” Ned whoops for extra effect. He stands up, his arms resting on the table as he leans towards Peter. “Can you imagine? You’ll be able to meet Red Hood! And even give the Joker the beating he deserves!”

”…Wait. You think I can win against the Joker?” Peter frowns, his brows furrowing in disbelief.

”Dude! You’re underestimating yourself again. One punch and the Joker is done for. Superhuman strength, remember? Shit. You might even have the Red Hood swooning after you become his knight in shining armor. And now I am jealous, great.”  Ned crosses his arms. “I better see a wedding invite in a few years. I don’t doubt you’ll find a way to communicate.”

Peter laughs, “No way. I can’t do that.” 

MJ raises an eyebrow, and Ned hums, ignoring Peter’s denial. A surge of pride strikes within him for making Peter laugh; he hasn’t been doing much of that lately.

”What are you waiting for? Go bring those comics. I’ll finish this lego set in the meantime. Don’t forget to pack some clothes and some cash. I don’t have money to spare. I’m not the one adopted by some multi-billionaire.”

With a minuscule smile, Peter asks, “What about Dr. Strange?” 

“If he’s as great of a wizard he claims to be, he won’t need you to be present in his spell casting.”) 

Peter Parker is a huge fan of the phrase ‘fake it until you make it.’  Spider-Man is built off of that phrase. Spider-Man is everything Peter Parker is not. He’s charismatic, selfless and good. 

Peter is lucky that the Wayne manor is looking to hire a chauffeur. Granted, the advertisement is a few months old but it’s still open.

Peter lied his way through an interview with Alfred Pennyworth about a chauffeur position. Unexpectedly, he got the position. Well, there was not a lot of competition, as Peter had seen in the waiting room. Peter had to channel his inner Spider-Man charisma. Usually, he would not let Spider-Man bleed into his personal life, but what more harm can it do?

He left Spider-Man behind. He debated it in his head for so long but decided that Spider-Man did not belong in the DC universe. Peter handed it to Ned. Once Dr. Strange erases the memory of Peter Parker, Ned is going to be confused and not let it rest. Oh, how Peter would love to hear his friend’s theories on how Spider-Man’s suit ended up in his room.

Peter has been in Gotham for a week. It’s hell. How do Gothmites live? 

The gloomy weather makes Peter feel a tiny bit nostalgic but the eerie atmosphere throws him off. It doesn’t help that his spider sense is tingling all the time. Crime runs rampant; Peter has never seen as many petty crimes in the last few days in Gotham than when he was in New York.

During the last week, Peter immediately made himself an identity and replaced his ID and driver’s license. He’d rather not have Batman and his group of vigilantes on his ass about him being non-existent. 

Thankfully, his request for a replacement driver’s license got approved. Just in time for his onboarding. He forged too many documents, he had to be thorough, considering the tech savvy vigilantes. 

His driver’s license in New York never got to see the light of day. Peter mainly uses the subway or swings from building to building as Spider-Man. He originally got his driver’s license because he dreamed of driving Mr. Stark’s vintage cars. 

Pepper had gifted Peter one of Tony’s cars and it sits in his apartment’s underground garage. Peter has never done anything more than just bask in it, he couldn’t drive with teary eyes.

Peter stares at the reinforced car with sparkling eyes. The enhancements are a necessity in Gotham, that only the rich could afford. No doubt that it’s bulletproof. 

Alfred Pennyworth is unreal. Peter has never seen a butler that wasn’t artificial intelligence. Especially one so graceful. He looks like he could star in an old time movie.

“Master Timothy is awaiting your arrival.” Alfred breaks the silence. Even his voice is cool.

“Yes Mr. Pennyworth!” Peter grinned. 

Tim Drake sat on the steps at the front of Gotham Academy. He was ordered by Alfred to wait for his chauffeur, something about keeping up appearances. If it had been coming from anyone else, Tim would’ve walked home. But it’s Alfred. No one goes against Alfred’s orders, not even Bruce. 

A black van with tinted windows pulls up in front of Tim. The subtle advancements are enough to tell Tim that is his chauffeur.

Tim drags himself to the car, thanking the chauffeur who opened and closed his door. 

He observes his chauffeur from the rear view mirror. He’s young, probably fresh out of high school. He’s got shaggy brown hair and kind brown eyes. He’s wearing the uniform Alfred assigned, a white button up and some slacks. Usually a blazer is paired with it as well but it is too hot for it currently.

“I’m Peter Parker. I’ll be your chauffeur from this point forward.” Peter smiles, a tad stiff. He can’t believe he is driving Red Robin. Does his breath stink? He hopes not.

Damian Wayne eyes Peter with disdain. “You’re not Pennyworth.” He states.

“Duh obviously.” Peter fought the urge to roll his eyes. Normally, he’d be more formal. However, Peter feels like that will tip Damian off even more. 

Damian narrows his eyes but doesn’t try to jump out the car so Peter counts it as a win. 

"Tt you are aware that we are in Metropolis? Or are you an idiot?" Damian frowns, crossing his arms. 

"Hahaha, about that...I couldn't merge." Peter rubs the back of his neck, feeling a bit sheepish.

Damian clicks his tongue. He’s sure Drake has finished his background check on Peter. As much as he doesn’t want to, he’ll have to talk to Drake. 

Damian later finds out that Peter Parker failed his driving test four times and assisted his driving instructor in a bank heist. 

“Ughh…” Duke Thomas groaned as he jerked forwards, his phone falling out of his hands and underneath his seat. His seatbelt is his saving grace.

“Sorry I didn't see that pothole.” Peter apologizes, taking off his sunglasses; they were for aesthetics, Gotham is the mother of gloomy weather.

Duke peers out the window. His face drops. He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. The sight is horrific enough that Duke will never forget it. 

His chauffeur just killed the Joker. His head is decapitated.

Duke shouldn’t get his hopes up, Batman will find a way to revive him. As much as he admires Bruce, that man can’t let the Joker go. Toxic-relationships and whatnot.

“Tell Mr. Wayne to invest money in filling up these potholes.” Peter says, backing up and running over the Joker’s body again. A sickening crunch makes Duke want to throw up. Duke will never jaywalk again.

Duke fears for when Jason and Peter meet.

Jon waits by the school entrance as Damian stomps over. Damian’s cheeks flushed with a red hue.

Kidz bop is blasting on the radio, shaking the van. Damian’s chauffeur has the windows rolled down and he’s in full drag. Peter has learned a thing or two from attending drag shows with MJ and Ned.

Damian had jumped out the rolled down window because the car had child's lock enabled.

“Your new chauffeur is pretty cool!” Jon exclaims, glancing back at Peter, who waves. Jon waves back, with much more enthusiasm. 

“Cool is not the adjective I would use to describe him.” Damian huffs, brushing past Jon. 

The radio in the van started to glitch, the lyrics overlapping. He smacks it twice, accidentally smashing it into the dashboard. By some miracle, it is fixed.

Tim, Duke and Stephanie exchange looks, they will revisit that later. Note to self, do not piss off their chauffeur.

It’s pouring rain, the Gotham vigilantes are huddled underneath Batman’s cape. They are far out into Gotham. They can’t use their grappling hooks due to the risk of falling because the grip is slippery. Also, their Batmobile is undergoing a cleanse because someone bled all over it.

”When is the Lyft coming?” Spoiler questions Red Robin, kicking a puddle at him.

”It’s turning the corner.” Red Robin informs, putting his burner phone back into his suit’s pockets. “Should be the one pulling up.”

”No fucking way.” Spoiler whispers as she catches the face of the driver as they drive past a street lamp. “What can’t he do?”

Peter pulls up, rolling down his passenger window. He stares at the vigilantes, raising an eyebrow. ”For Jack?”

”Ned?” Red Robin asks, Peter nods in confirmation. Batman is curious as to why his chauffeur is a Lyft driver, and under a different name too. How did he bypass the two forms of identification?

Gotham’s vigilantes pile in his car, shaking the vehicle. Robin sat in Batman’s lap because Red Robin forgot to order the XL. 

Peter told them to sit on the towels in his backseat to avoid getting his car wet. There are also towels laid on the floor to avoid a muddy mess. He bought this car after working for the Wayne’s for a month.

”How long have you been doing Lyft?” Batman asks, a curious edge to his words.

Peter shrugs, “I started today. You won’t believe the people I got. First, it was Poison Ivy and her girlfriend Harley Quinn. It’s only got crazier from there.”

”Wait no way! I knew they were girlfriends!” Spoiler exclaimed, then gasped. “Can we get batburger pleaseeeeee? Red Robin here will tip you good!”

Peter laughs and swerves in the drive-thru. 

Alfred Pennyworth sits in the back seat, watching his favorite soap opera on the overhead screen. Besides him, is Alfred the cat in a pet carrier. 

They are on their way home from having Alfred the cat get neutered. The tuxedo cat is in a cone of shame.

Alfred grips the overhead handle, besides that, he is overall at peace. Ignoring the current police chase happening and the sharp turns that Peter is making. Alfred would never admit that he is having a bit of fun. It’s a bit nostalgic from when he was a teenager. 

If anyone were to ask, Alfred will just say that he is testing his employee. He can’t be a chauffeur for the Wayne family if he can’t lose the police on his tail.

Peter observes his terrible parking job. Parallel parking is difficult.

He looks around before using his superhuman strength to adjust the car.

He dusts his hands and grins before heading into the craft store. 

On a lawn chair, Peter flips through a Gotham Gazette newspaper, humming an upbeat tune. Around him are the Wayne children washing his car with a sponge and some towels. 

Peter tunes out their complaints about aching muscles and whatnot. He sips a smoothie from Alfred.

There’s a trash can beside the car, filled to the brim. It’s filled with batburger wrappers and other take-out boxes. That is all from inside the car. 

Peter ordered them to clean his van, it’s the only way he’ll take them to the water park in Metropolis. 

A loud splash echoed in the garage. “Drake!” Damian shouted, dripping in soapy suds. 

“I was nowhere near you!” Tim fired back. He shoots Damian a glare. 

Damian huffs, throwing his soapy sponge on the ground with a plat. He goes inside momentarily to change. When he returns, he is wearing a new outfit and accompanying him is Alfred. They both pull out lawn chairs and sip on their smoothies.

They all ignore the rest of the Wayne children’s complaints of not being fair.

Peter will enjoy his peace while he can before they start fighting for shotgun. Thank you Ned. 

Chapter Text

An emergency meeting has been initiated by Signal. 

The vigilantes huddle around in a circle, there’s no table between them due to an incident between Red Robin and Robin.

”Drumroll please.” Signal starts, which is followed by Nightwing, Spoiler and Red Robin patting their thighs. Signal nods in appreciation, before turning to look at each vigilante. “We need to discuss our chauffeur. Now B and Red, are you sure you did a thorough background check?”

B hums an affirmative. 

Red Robin raises an eyebrow, perhaps looking a bit offended.

”Does he have any degrees?” Signal starts off, because Gotham Rogues more often than not have degrees in their fields. 

Red Robin sighed, “No degrees. Only a high school diploma. He hasn’t applied to any universities either. He was born in New York, he came to Gotham after high school. Which raises the question, why Gotham of all places?”

“Why not Gotham? It’s a dream location.” Spoiler answered, leaning on Orphan. Orphan steadies her with a gentle placement of her hand on her waist. 

”Tsk. This couldn’t have waited until morning?” Robin frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s about to go patrol with Batman and this conversation is pushing it back. “Pennyworth vetted him.” He explains like that’s enough and it normally would be.

Signal dragged a hand down his face. “Peter Parker killed the Joker.”

Several exclamations were thrown out, meanwhile Batman is shocked in silence.

”Him? He looks like the wind would blow him over.”

”He’s so skinny.”

”No offense Signal but there’s no way you’re serious right now.” Red Hood says, his eyes darting from Signal to Batman. “Even if it were true, B would make it so the Joker is terrorizing the streets by the morning.”

“Crazy thing actually. This afternoon, Peter picked me up from school. Normal, right? I mean that’s what B is paying him for. Next thing I know my phone flies out of my hands and he says pothole. But I remember B fixed them all on the route to the academy because Damian complained about motion sickness.” A snicker from Red Robin. “I look out the window and Jokers fucking head is flying in the air. We could look at the exterior camera footage. He ran over the Joker twice. God it was a sickening crunch.”

”Good riddance.”

”White man did it one week.”

”I dreamed for a day like this.”

Red Hood looks more amused as Signal explains, the grin on his face becomes a little adoring. 

“Hood, whats so funny?”

”Oh nothing.” He said, not revealing the blood on Peter’s tires when came to his mechanic shop in the garage of one of his safe houses.

“Also is no one going to question the fact that Peter is a Lyft driver?” Spoiler says.

”B doesn’t pay enough” Nightwing playfully jabs. 

Signal coughs into his hand. ”Ahem. I’m not done.”

Chastized, the vigilantes quiet down.

”I immediately went to patrol the area after Peter dropped me off. However I ran into poison ivy. By the time I was done dealing with her, the body was gone. Any blood was cleared as well. I believe Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are covering this up. It explains why Peter and them are so friendly.”

Nightwing’s shoulders slump in relief. Last time he dealt with Joker after Jason’s death, Bruce had worked hard to revive him. 

“Hnn.”

“I’ll confirm it.” Red Hood states, before trudging out the cave. One by one, they disperse to do their own investigations.

Peter yawns as he stretches in bed, his legs are tangled in a blanket. His phone has fallen in between the bed and the wall. There are imprints of his pillow on his face and arms. He feels well rested.

He slowly blinks, his eyes adjusting to the light filtering in through the open gap of the curtains. His eyebrows furrow together in slight annoyance at the bustling world outside his window. It’s a surprise he didn’t wake up earlier considering his super hearing. 

Peter slept in later than he usually does, it’s pushing two in the afternoon; the Wayne’s had gone on vacation. Including Alfred. Their pets were entrusted to a highly vetted pet hotel. Peter had volunteered to watch them but Mr. Wayne is a good employer who does not overwork his employees. 

The Wayne family still paid him regardless they were on vacation. Peter overheard Mr. Wayne fretting over his skinny figure to Alfred; who sent him home from every shift with a pile of leftovers. Peter never had to worry about meals.

Peter has accumulated enough money from working with the Wayne’s in a few months to retire if he wished. His bank account had seven digits, Peter might as well consider himself a Wayne. He never thought he’d own a penthouse. Mr. Stark had offered it once as a Christmas present but Peter laughed it off. Mr. Stark never had the chance to bring it up again. 

Mr. Wayne invited Peter to live in the mansion after he learned Peter is a homeless orphan. Peter rejected his adoption offer so they settled on a penthouse owned by Bruce Wayne. It still feels like a dream sometimes. 

The penthouse makes for viral get ready with me YouTube videos. He’s often interrupted by one of Gotham’s vigilantes being thrown through his window. 

The grind doesn’t stop just because the Waynes are on vacation. Time to make use of his Lyft and DoorDash accounts.

Peter is in the parking lot of a thrift shop in the shopping center waiting to be assigned to a passenger when the car door opens harshly. The lock must’ve been faulty or this man has some super strength. 

Peter raises a brow as the crime lord makes himself comfortable in Peter’s passenger seat, his muddy boots scruffing the interior. Yet, Peter can’t find himself to be upset. He recognizes the crime lord from the DC comics; he’s one of Ned’s favorites. Ned pestered MJ to make him a couple pieces of fanart of Ned and Jason Todd. It had been funny until Ned made Peter pay. It was an awkward situation asking Mr. Stark for money, especially when the man asked for the reason because Peter never asks him for anything. Money was an uncomfortable topic between them. With the multi-billionaire wanting nothing more to spend his riches on Peter and Peter who grew up going around the neighborhood to collect soda cans for money.

Peter wouldn’t mind being squished between his thighs. 

“I don’t drive people for free.” Peter says, yet he is already flooring it when he notices the Red Hood is being pursued by some other gang affiliates. Their shouts fade into a mumble very quickly.

”…” Red Hood places his gun back into his holster. He searches through his pants pockets, finding nothing but his burner phone. He sighs, his shoulders slumping. He digs into the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling out a wad of cash, drenched in blood. Peter noticed the metallic scent when Red Hood first entered but had expected it to be a hidden injury, not his blood money. 

Peter glances at money warily, “Yeah no thanks man…I’ll let this go if you shoot my neighborhood up a bit? The landlord is trying to increase rent because it’s been too quiet.” Peter huffs, a little annoyed. While he does spend the majority of his time in the penthouse, he also rents a trailer in case this whole chauffeur thing doesn’t work out. He’s paranoid that everything can just disappear tomorrow.  

Red Hood laughs, and he laughs loud, slapping his knee a few times. Peter grimaces at the noise. He laughs until his voice modulator glitches and pitches his voice. That humbles him real quick.

“What neighborhood?” Red Hood considers, after catching his breath. 

Peter Parker does not react when Harley Quinn and her girlfriend, Poison Ivy; or so she tells Peter to call her Pamela enter his car for a Lyft.

“Petey!” Harley exclaims, helping herself to the treats offered to passengers in the back. She’s a frequent customer; not many Lyft drivers in Gotham. “I saw your mukbang. Next time you gotta invite me and my sugar plum.”

Ah yes, his famous mukbang video featuring Red Hood. It went viral for everything but the food. Peter felt a bit bitter, just a bit…He splurged on a seafood boil yet it was glossed over. Though Peter savored it, even if the smell lingered in his car and he got a few judgemental looks from Damian. No, the main thing that came out of that video is Peter x Red Hood trending all over twitter. It’s times like this that he wishes MJ and Ned were here. They would tease him but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Though, Ned would be a little salty over “losing” Red Hood, but then suggest a throuple.

While Peter has run into a variety of vigilantes and villains, he has yet to hear from Joker.

“It would be a double date if you bring that man of yours.” Pamela pointed out, before muttering a colorful curse when they heard the sound of police sirens accompanied with their array of lights shone through the rear window.

Peter pulls over, turning to look over at the women in his back seat. “What do I do? I never got pulled over before.” Peter feels a pit in his stomach when he sees Pamela’s indifference and Harley’s mischievous grin. “What if they ask me for my car registration? It has to be in my glovebox, do you think they’ll mind if I just hand over everything?”

Just as the officer makes it to his unrolled window, Pamela places a comforting hand on his shoulder, a small smile graces her lips. Harley squeezes in between the two front seats and throws a whipped pie in the officer’s face. “Floor it Peter!” out of panic Peter listened. Were police chases going to be a common occurrence? If so, Peter has to go see Red Hood about some (illegal) modifications. 

One day Parker’s luck is going to make a comeback. Tenfold.

Chapter Text

News about the Joker’s death gets around. Quick.

Joker’s radio silence gathers the attention of Gotham citizens. There’s a tension in the air before Gotham’s police department releases an official statement regarding his passing. The details are obscured and people make up their own assumptions to fill in the blanks. The majority of the citizens think it's the result of one of the vigilantes but since Batman didn’t do anything after Robin’s death, they dismiss the thought. Why would he get revenge now? Gothamites conclude that a territory feud broke out but when no crime boss boasts about it, they are left confused. 

It didn't take long before they decided not to dwell on it. In the end, no one cares enough to dig into it. Gothamites are just relieved that the Joker finally kicked the bucket. Even if it's overdue.

The Wayne family has decided not to release the details of Joker's death. They will take this information to the grave. Batman reported the death of Joker to commissioner Gordon but that’s the most they are willing to share. They do not want to paint a target on their chauffeur, especially with how much Alfred favors him and they found themselves growing fond of his eccentrics. The Waynes have monitored Peter after the incident, and believe that he hasn’t noticed he eliminated the Joker. Not that it’d change anything. If Bruce fired him, Jason would immediately scout him.

Not much has changed after confirming Joker’s death. Except for the Wayne's unhealthy fear of Peter. Overnight, Peter gains leverage in the Wayne household. His words are absolute. He runs the household like it's the military, all the children respond to his every word with ‘yes sir!’ Or a variation of the sort. Peter had smiled at their sudden influx of manners. He was initially confused when the Wayne children started to salute him. It had started with Duke, then Stephanie, Tim and Cassandra. Somehow, even Damian was convinced, though his friend Jon probably influenced him. Even Bruce Wayne took his orders as seriously as he did with Alfred. Peter decided not to press the matter. 

Peter ignores Jon and Damian claiming his bad driving is good endurance training. He also tries to pay no mind to their prepared puke bags.

Well, besides Peter’s increase in authority, he has gained a secret-not-so-secret admirer. It would be more of a secret if his admirer wasn’t hiding behind a pillar or lingering around the corner peeking at his reaction. It is hard to miss the broad figure trying to conceal himself behind a lamppost. He’s had to stop Damian from escalating the situation way too many times to count. Duke had assured Peter that it is not just any random weirdo and to ignore him, but that was after he laughed til he cried.

Peter already knew he was going to gain the Red Hood’s interest at one point just from being associated with the Waynes. Sure, he gave him a ride one time and maybe they did a mukbang together. But that shouldn’t have led to this! He didn’t even know what he did to warrant his affection. He thought that the Red Hood would just be curious and do a background check at most. He didn’t expect the bouquets and the very vague and concerning letters. He has a very vague idea as to why, its the only plausible reason but well, his senses are overwhelmed in Gotham that it could be he missed something. And well, he had the right of way.

He can’t deny that he doesn’t look forward to the frequent gifts. This is Jason Todd we are talking about. Ned’s man crush Monday for ten executive years straight. He has to say, Ned knows what's up. 

Peter has just handed in the keys to Alfred after dropping Tim off. He’s descending from the front stairs when he spots Jason. 

Jason leans against his motorcycle. Clad is a dark leather jacket, his hand, adorned with rings, runs through his hair, trying to soothe the helmet hair. His eyes brighten when he spots Peter. The corner of his mouth twitches upward for a brief second. 

It seems he has decided to ditch his Red Hood vigilante persona for the night. Aside from the DC comics, Peter has heard of Jason from the other Waynes, usually from their complaints. He recently made a public appearance after having been declared deceased. With all the weird shit in Gotham, nobody batted an eye after the first week.

“Peter.” He calls out, “Would you care to go for a drive?” His words are hopeful. Jason’s eyes are drawn to one of Bruce’s vintage cars, suggesting that they aren’t taking his motorcycle. He rests his helmet on his motorcycle before grabbing an arranged bouquet.

Peter accepts the bouquet, his heart flutters. A soft pink hue dusts his cheeks as he grins. “It’s a date.” 

Jason’s jaw drops and the tips of his ears are tinted a pink color. “A daTE?” His voice increases a few pitches at the end of his words. He quickly collects his composure, cursing Peter’s amused expression because it made his heart skip a beat. He clears his throat. “Yes, a date.” He confirms. He had intended for it to be a date anyways but for it to be thrown at his face so bluntly caught him off guard.

Peter laughs and Jason is swept off his feet. Peter’s laugh could draw anyone’s attention. It’s alluring. Jason hopes to hear it til the end of his days. The way Peter’s dimple makes an appearance and his eyes turn into crescents will live eternally in Jason’s poetry.

Just as Jason offers his hand for Peter to take, they hear muffled screaming. They turn their attention to the window where Damian is clinging to the window stool while Tim is trying to pry him away by the waist. 

A startled laugh escapes Jason as they watch Alfred approach, his expression is disappointed. Alfred shakes his head. Damian, alerted of Alfred’s presence, goes limp in Tim’s hold. Damian slides his thumb across his neck, mimicking a slit throat. Peter’s spider senses leads him to assume its not for him, considering it didn’t alert him.

Jason raises an eyebrow, considering. “About that date…” He guides Peter to Bruce’s car. He makes sure Peter is in the passenger seat. Best not to recreate Joker’s death with a random civilian.

─────────────────────────────

Jason’s eye twitches violently. Jason sits in the passenger seat with Tim seated directly behind him. Tim has been kicking his seat repeatedly the whole car ride, jostling Jason. 

Jason has endured it for the last ten minutes because it is well deserved. 

When Jason found out Peter had killed Joker, something even Batman couldn’t do, he was intrigued. That’s it. Though when he realized it was the Waynes chauffeur Peter, he was sold. The very same man that became his last minute getaway driver, who he shot up a neighborhood for and did a mukbang with. There was already some history brewing. It was only a matter of time.

Jason’s romantic pursuit didn’t go over well for the rest of the Waynes. 

Duke had called him at the crack of dawn to laugh in his face. When Jason hung up and went back asleep, he woke up to his voicemail inbox full of Duke’s laughing. Damian made several murder attempts on Jason. It’s no surprise since Peter quickly became someone he tolerated due to Peter gifting good quality art supplies. Peter claimed to once have an artist friend though no one dares to pry more because his words are laced with longing. Dick had tried to give him dating advice but it was a bit questionable and only he could pull it off with his charisma and appearance. 

Cassandra has spied on way too many of their dates than Jason would like. Whatever it was she was looking for, she found it.

Stephanie has cringed, her face contorting in disgust. She eventually got over it quickly after realizing there’s not much to do when Jason is set on something. That didn’t stop Jason from getting a surprise visit in the middle of patrol. She threatened that if he ever harmed Peter physically or emotionally, she would hunt him down.  

Tim has been the most against Jason courting Peter. Jason believes it's due to his little crush that's forming. Peter is smart, naturally charismatic and has a boy next door charm to him. He cares so much, and it is refreshing to see in Gotham, though it leaves Jason bewildered sometimes. Peter is also seen  helping the elderly with their groceries and saving cats out of the trees. 

What is there not to like?

Tim had broken into Jason’s safe house in the middle of the night just to rant about how it is weird that he's dating their chauffeur. Jason assumes Tim is bitter that Jason is breaking whatever weird imaginary off limits restriction Tim has put on Peter because they are his boss technically. 

“Timothy.” Peter says, his glare through the rear view mirror sends shivers down Tim’s spine. “Stop kicking Jason’s seat.”

A chorus of ”Yes sir!” fills the vehicle. Stephanie and Duke who were not being scolded had straightened their posture as if they were.

There's a moment of silence. Jason is surprised they know how to be quiet. 

After they hit a particularly rough speed bump, Stephanie asks Peter, “Can you teach me how to drive?” She leans forward, in between Jason and Peter. Her gaze burns into the side of Peter’s head.

”Steph.” Duke warns, because Peter is the last person that should be teaching anyone how to drive. 

”C’mon everyone is doing it.” Stephanie reassures, grinning a bit too wide to be innocent. Of course she is doing this on purpose, Duke sighs. 

”And who is everyone?” Tim frown, his eyebrows furrowed. 

The girl with blonde hair shrugs, ”Oh, y’know people at school?” She doesn’t even seem sure of herself. 

Peter brakes, hard. If Peter wasn’t so insistent on them wearing their seatbelts, one of them would have gone flying out of the window. He throws a few aggressive hand signs to another car who tried to merge out of nowhere. “Ah? I’ll teach you, how does Friday sound?”

There’s going to be two of them. Stay off the roads. Duke needs to renew his bus pass. 

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Peter stretches lazily under the comfort of his blankets. A yawn escapes his lips. The sunlight filtering through the blinds casts a golden hue. It’ll be cloudy in the next thirty minutes.

He doesn’t have to be up for another couple of hours to pick Damian up from his friend's place. Jon and him held a sleepover during the weekend. School is finally out but that doesn’t mean Peter is any less busy. The Wayne's schedule consists more of Galas and interviews than school. Also hanging out at the mall or their friends.

”Sleep well?” Jason asks, nuzzling his face into Peter’s neck. His voice is thick with drowsiness. Peter grins when Jason’s eyelashes brush against his neck, feeling ticklish. Jason’s chest is pressed against Peter’s back. One arm is slung around Peter’s waist while the other Peter uses as a pillow. 

Peter hums, “Someone kept waking me up from their snoring.” He teases light heartedly, they both know that Peter wakes himself up from his own snoring. Peter squirms when Jason prods under his ribcage. “I was joking!” He explains to try to save himself from the relentless attack. “Mercy!”

”Sure you were.” Jason laughs, propping himself up in a sitting position. The blankets pool around his waist. “I’m going to make breakfast.” He told Peter, kissing his cheek, a lovesick grin on his face. 

Peter watches him leave. The contour of his back is insane. The scars just add to the hotness factor. Peter closes his eyes, Jason will wake him up when breakfast is ready.

Ned, you’re the best wingman ever.