Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Manbagi closed the classroom door behind her, she sighed in relief.

“It’s over.” She said to nobody, smiling. She sat down on her chair in the now-empty class as her arms shook.

She lost. Well, losing isn't a very nice way of putting it. She and her close friend Shouko had been romantically interested in the same boy for the past god-knows-how-long.

The boy, Tadano Hitohito, had just left after asking if she'd be okay with dating someone like him. In every other story, that'd been the end of it. 

But, to her own misfortune, Manbagi wasn't the person you'd hear about in stories. As soon as Tadano had asked that question, tears of joy and intense emotion flooded her. But between them was a stowaway- Komi Shouko. 

The thought of her friend flashed in her mind as she stared at the face of her crush, who was basically offering to be her boyfriend. It caused her to freeze. Is this really okay? Is this how it should be?  

“Are you sure you won't regret going out with me?” Manbagi asked instinctively.

“Huh?” Tadano was flabbergasted. He paused to think, and began sweating as his heartbeat was almost audible to Manbagi.

…

“I'll ask again. Are you sure you won't regret going out with me?”

“I…” Tadano's face cycled through multiple expressions Of anguish. “I think…”

That was all Manbagi needed to hear. She let him finish talking (and crying…?) as she sent him off towards the Komi residence. Her heart felt like it was being crushed under a press as tears began flowing from her face, this time ones of sorrow.

“It’s over…” She said as she started sobbing.

SLAM!

The sound startled her so much she stopped crying. The classroom door shot open as her classmate, Isagi, stood at the door and began approaching her.

The germaphobe approached her with a hammer in her hand, her expression deadpan. 

“WoahwoahwoahWOAH-” Manbagi called out in her head until, suddenly she felt herself getting hugged.

“H-huh?”

“I'm on patrol for the FBI.” Isagi explained. The Federation for Breaking Up Illicit Relationships had formed in their school not too long ago, though she failed to see its relevance right now.

“N-no, I mean… you're hugging me.” Manbagi said in confusion.

“Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

“No. Not at all.” Isagi answered immediately, causing Manbagi to get even more confused.

“I-I'm all covered in tears!” 

“I am aware. But I'm not letting go. I don't know why, but I have decided to act in a way I won't regret.”

Manbagi slowly hugged her back as the tears resumed their flow, bawling as she explained what had happened.

“I want Tadano to be happy… I didn't want to ask… I really didn't want to ask… But I had to!” She wailed. 

“You're also a bit of a clean freak in your own way, too, aren't you?”

“Tadano's gone, right? Can we come in now?” A voice called.

The classroom slowly began to fill up with students. “What's going on?! Why's everyone here?!” Manbagi coaxed.

“Oh, we were just wondering how things were going between you and Tadano.” Maya casually stated.

“HUH?!?” Manbagis confusion intensified. “D-did you tell them, Zukacchi?! Does everyone-” Manbagi interrogated.

“Oh, no. I didn't tell them anything… you just, well, weren't as discreet as you may have thought you were.” She awkwardly replied.

Everyone immediately rushed to comfort her. 

“C-cheer up!” A voice awkwardly called out. “I love you, Manbagi!” Another yelled out in support. “I can introduce you to a nice guy!”

Manbagi recalled herself at the start of the year. People wouldn't even approach her. And now, she has an entire classroom filled with people worried for her.

“Ha… haha…” she muttered, causing people to look at her in confusion.

“Haha! Look at how many friends I have!” She choked out with a smile as Maya came in to hug her.

After she settled down (at least on the outside), she got a call from Komi to report how everything went. Obviously, Tadano had gone directly to her place, and then confessed.

“I'm… so-” Komi barely managed to utter before 

Manbagi yelled out, as If silencing her, “He confessed to you right after turning me down?” Trying to sound normal took immense effort, especially with the constant throbbing pain in the center of her torso. “N-not bad!” 

The class erupted with screams, making Komi squeal in surprise and potentially damaging Manbagis hearing.

“Oh, everyone already knew, apparently…” she briefly explained. “I may need to learn how to keep my voice down more… sorry.”

“...it's okay?” Komi assured, still not quite understanding the situation. 

“Oh, and… IDK if this is how I should phrase it, but… Congratulations. You should feel happy.” Manbagi assured, despite the selfish thoughts going through her head. 

As she finished the call, the class asked her to join them in Karaoke. 

“Yeah, sure! I'll… join you later. Text me where you're at, okay?” She forced a smile as everyone left. 

However, one student aside from her remained, standing at the side of the classroom as everyone left.

「Why are you smiling, Ruumii?」 Kometani asked.

“Bah-!” Manbagi nearly fell from her seat. “How long have you been here?!” 

「I came in shortly after Isagi.」

“How does he always enter unnoticed?” Manbagi wondered.

「Do you really want to go sing right now?」 He questioned, direct as always.

“Not really…” Manbagi sighed. “But it'll probably make me feel better.”

「Probably.」 Kometani said. 「But you barely talked about how you feel just now. Wouldn’t that be more effective?」

She let out a chuckle at his observation. “I mean, that could also work, but I don't want to make everyone feel sad because of me…” She said as she slightly frowned. 

「We all came here because we worried for you, Rumiko. Don't you think that making yourself sad for our sake would end up causing more sadness for everyone involved?」 A hint of genuine confusion came out of him as the evening wind passed through the empty classroom.

Manbagi failed to respond, her expression growing slightly more troubled than before.

「Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to blame you for that.」. Kometani occasionally found his words getting either misinterpreted or coming out wrong. 

“No, I get what you mean. It's just… It’s over. There's no chance of a miracle, no sudden switchup, it's done.” She sighed. “I… lost him. All this was for nothing.”

「I don't think so.」 Kometani replied. 「You mentioned how you didn't have a lot of friends before, and you've just filled up a classroom with people who worried about you.」 He looked at her with his signature deadpan stare.  「I think that qualifies as something, don't you think?」

“You're right, but I meant-” Before she could finish her sentence, she got a location sent to her by Maya. “Ah, sry, Chakku!” She checked her phone. “Maya just sent me the location.” 

Kometani nodded. 

“Are you coming, or?” 

「No, I promised to help my little sister with a project.」

“K, I'll see you tomorrow! Thanks for the help!” She waved as she ran out.

Kometani knew she was just as sad as she was when she was crying. He was naturally perceptive of things, and he knew how Manbagi was with tough subjects.

Kometani opened his phone and started dialing.

「Tadano-Kun?」 Kometani asked. 「Do you mind helping me with something?」

Tadano was lying in bed, overthinking when he got the call.

“Sure,” He said. “I still owe you for teaching me how to ski.” Memories of landing face-down into snow came up.

“Please go and talk to Manbagi-san tomorrow morning. I'm worried for her.”

“That’s… not like him to ask it like this. He barely sounds like himself.”  

“S-sure.”

「Thank you. Have a nice evening.」 Kometani thanked him as he ended the call.

It took Tadano around 30 seconds of thinking about why Kometani asked that to realize what he had agreed to.

“Ah.” He said out loud, going back to his stream of thoughts but now with a hint of fear and anxiety woven into them as he tried to think what he'd say to her.

After that, Kometani put his phone back in his pocket and simply headed home, leaving his school in the dark of night.

Chapter Text

The sun shone through Manbagi’s window as she laid face-down on her bed. She was physically exhausted from partying the night before, and mentally exhausted from her heart being broken right before that. 

Her mind was racing with thoughts about what had transpired. What if she did things differently? What if she was gentler with Tadano? How could things end up if she didn’t try to help Komi? She kept shooting down those ideas herself as soon as they came, disappointing herself for even thinking such things. She’s Komi and Tadano’s friend, and she should be happy for them. Her feelings wouldn’t change the fact they’re together now. 

*Ding-Dong!*

The bell rang. Her mom was asleep, so she knew it’d have to be her to open the door as she moaned, sitting up in her bed as she fixed her hair.

She walked downstairs, indifferent about the fact she’s basically looking the same as she did yesterday besides her hair being messier. She didn’t invite anyone over, so it’s probably a delivery she or her mother had ordered. Nothing worth dressing up for.

“Coming!” Manbagi called out as she stepped towards the door, forcing out her regular cheery tone.

She opened the door, suddenly witnessing an unexpected sight. It was-

“TADANO?!?” Manbagi yelped in shock.

“Um… I came to tell you something.”

A billion thoughts ran through Manbagi’s head. Did he break up with Shouko? Did he regret his choice and come back to her? Was he going to cut off contact with her because it’d be awkward now that he isn’t single? She was so overwhelmed by the shock she almost forgot that Tadano was actually there.

“Ah, I’m sorry for dropping by so suddenly.” He added with his typical apologetic tone. She always found it cute.

“N-no, it’s alright. We’ll have to talk here, though. Mom’s asleep.”

Tadano nodded and sat down on the stairs to the Manbagi household entry. “Oh, sorry. I wasn’t planning on bothering you at all at first…” He assured her, remembering the weird phone call from Kometani the night before.

“You don’t bother me.” Manbagi said without thinking. “Anyway, what’s up?”

“Ah, right.” He said, breaking eye contact and looking sideways as a cloud caused the sunlight draping them to disappear.

“Well… I… confessed to Komi-san.” He said, struggling to keep his composure. 

Manbagi was happy that his timid self couldn’t look into her eyes as he said it as she felt sadness fill her once more. He obviously wasn’t going to come and confess to her, but a place deep within her was wishing it were the case.

She quickly hid her indecent response with a poker face, hoping he didn’t see it. “I know. She told me.” 

Tadano couldn’t even fully change his expression into a shocked one before she continued.

“Wasn’t that kind of fast?” A hint of annoyment was in her voice.

“S-sorry!”

“Nah, it’s alright.” Manbagi suddenly seemed happy. “I’m not criticizing you… But didn’t you need to work up some courage after realizing it? You acted pretty fast!” She laughed, though it didn’t feel truly genuine for some reason. “Meanwhile, all I’ve been doing was bumbling around.” Her laughter kept on as she recalled the second culture festival. Why was she laughing?

“A-anyway…” Tadano looked down, looking anguished. “I want to apologize again. For yesterday and… everything, really.” He clenched his fists, grabbing his knees and wrinkling his pants. “I’m so, so sorry.” He declared with his voice suddenly becoming louder and more earnest.

“Our conversation in the Cathedral… and just now… I’ve been thoughtless, shameful, and… selfish. I just did whatever I wanted.” Tadano lowered his head closer to his legs.

“Could we still be friends?” He hesitantly asked as he dug his nails into his own palms. It felt like her heart was being pulled down with an anchor seeing his state.

“C’mon, don’t be so formal.” Manbagi said, surprising Tadano. “Do I need to draw it on your forehead so you’ll remember it? You don’t have to be so formal!” She clapped between each word. “We’re friends!” She grinned at him as she finished, which caused him to flush slightly.

“Now with that aside, should I slap you?” Her return to the monotone stare and tone was near-instant.

“WHA-? WHY?!” Tadano said in fear as the cloud moved, bringing back the sun as the wind hit them both.

“W-WELL, IT’D GIVE SOME CLOSURE, DON’T YOU THINK?” She attempted to explain her bizarre idea. “‘S not like you want to feel guilty, right?! And slapping you isn’t exactly on the top of my to-do list!” She added, despite the idea of slapping him popping up in her head several times since last night.

Tadano froze for a second. “...Okay. Do it.”

“F’REAL?!” Manbagi was shocked at his compliance. “O-Okay then…”

They turned towards each other. “B-but don’t you dare start crying! I’d feel really bad!”  

“I w-won’t cry!” Tadano declared with uncertainty.

“Okay, close your eyes.” Manbagi requested.

Tadano closed his eyes as she moved her hand close to his face back and forth like she’s in a slapping contest.

“Maybe I should hold his cheek and kiss him… His face looks so soft and warm…” Manbagi thought as she felt the heat emanating from his face.

She quickly shook her head rapidly like a dog drying itself. “Nope. It’s slappin’ time.” 

*SLAP!* The sound echoed throughout the street, which returned to sounds of whistling wind right after.

“Now, you better make ‘er a happy woman!” Manbagi smiled as her palm began hurting from the impact. “Or you’ll get another one of these.”

“I-I will.” Tadano said as his cheek grew red from the pain, holding himself from rubbing it.

“Kyahh!” Manbagi squealed. “Stop acting so cool! That’s what made me fall for you!”

The rest of Tadano’s face became red, though the color was different from his hurt cheek. “Oh, um… Thanks…?” 

They both laughed.

“How did Shouko respond?” Manbagi asked as a car drove by, her curiosity overtaking her. She only knew that it happened, but nothing beyond it.

Tadano became flustered at the memory. “W-well… she froze for a moment, a-and she got really red and touched her face and hair…”

“And then what?” Manbagi, while curious and interested, felt like her heart was clenching itself.

“I… don’t know.”

“Huh?” She stared at him in shock.

“Well… I told her goodbye and ran off.”

“SRSLY???” Manbagi stared at him to see if he was joking.

“W-well, yeah…”

Manbagi started howling in laughter. “YOU RAN AWAY??” Her eyes began to tear up. It wasn’t that funny, but the fact that it ended like that caught her off guard. 

“W-well, it was late…” Manbagi began making him reconsider his actions.

“Oooh- oh my-” She panted as she tried to collect herself. “Did you talk to her after that?”

Tadano paused to think and quickly shook his head in denial, causing Manbagi to shoot her head backwards in laughter.

“So much for reading the room!” She said as she finally managed to calm down, wiping a tear. “You better get up and go talk to her right now!” She stood up.

Tadano stepped down from the stairs. “Right now!?” 

“What, were you gonna wait to see her in school again?” She spurred him. “Go! GO!” She jokingly lifted her hand like she was going to slap him again. 

Tadano quickly rushed away, waving her goodbye. Manbagi shooed him away, waiting until she couldn’t see him running off to stop yelling at him.

Manbagi sighed as her expression dropped, a feeling of emptiness showing up as she was left alone. She was definitely jealous of Shouko. Slapping Tadano did help, but those invasive thoughts of jealousy, anger, and all other kinds of negative emotions and ‘wishes’ seeped deep into her mind.

“Why…? I just want them to be happy… But I want to be happy, too…” She quietly said under her breath. “I don’t want these things to happen… these thoughts…” She continued, fantasies of Shouko rejecting him, or worse, happening so he comes back to her. “I hate them…” 

Before she could keep sulking, her streak of negativity was interrupted by a door loudly opening behind her.

“Ah.” In her emotional spree of laughter and determination, she had forgotten the whole reason they were outside was because of her mother being asleep. Her mother who values her sleep very, VERY much.

Manbagi slowly turned around to see the mature woman in her pajamas and a look of pure rage in her half-closed eyes.

“Sry…!”

Chapter Text

Manbagi woke up the day after her talk with Tadano feeling relieved. It was the first morning she was going to their school without the inherent anxiety of the “love triangle” she was in. 

It was gonna be just another school day, as it was at the start of the year. She repeated that mantra in her head from home to school. It's just another day. Just that.

She got in her seat, sat down, took out her pen and English book, and started tapping her fingers on the table until the teacher walked in.

“Alright… So you're gonna have to write a three-paragraph, original story based on the first sentence you read when you open the book at a random page…” The visibly exhausted teacher yawned.

“I know we were supposed to check the assignment I gave you last week today, but this year's Valentine's wasn't easy on your poor homeroom teacher… And her coping mechanisms weren't easy on the day after, either…” She whimpered and adjusted her glasses as she sat down.

Manbagi sighed in a mix of disappointment and, weirdly enough, empathy toward her teacher as she took out her pen and opened her book to read… “It is cold at six-forty in the morning on a March day in Paris, and seems even colder when a man is about to be executed by firing squad at the center of the city.”  

“How am I s’posed to write about a public execution?!” Manbagi thought. Noticing that Ms. Ensei wasn’t looking, she flipped the book to a different quote. “So how do you care for a plant?” 

Relieved at the fact her teacher didn’t catch her, Manbagi began writing her short essay. It was still an annoying thing to do in the morning, but at least it wasn’t Write-About-Death-At-Seven A.M. annoying. Manbagi began tapping her pen against her air-filled cheek while thinking up ideas when suddenly she noticed Shouko peeking backwards. 

She turned around to check and saw that Tadano was staring back at Shouko. Right. They’re a couple now. That’s gonna happen.

Aside from that, everything was gonna be the same. Seeing that she was turning her head back towards her boyfriend, Manbagi quickly looked the other way. Komi quickly turned her gaze back towards her notebook as Tadano let out a weak, barely audible squeal from his closed mouth.

Manbagi exhaled through her nose at the sight in anguish as she kept writing, digging her nails into her palms as the grip on her pen tightened. 

“Not a big deal, don't make this a big deal, Rumiko. It'll all stay the same.” She desperately repeated, trying to convince herself as her heart felt like it was tied to a brick and thrown to the sea.

— — — — 

The bell signaling the end of the fourth class had begun ringing, and the second free period of the day had started as Manbagi got out of her classroom. She saw a group of female students talking, with Shouko standing alongside them. As she was about to approach her and offer to eat together, she saw her head turn right.

She followed her gaze, and Tadano was staring back at his girlfriend. He quickly passed by Shouko as they both turned red from the embarrassment of having made eye contact. “ Sure, I get it, they-” Before Manbagi could complete the thought, both had simultaneously turned back towards the other and made eye contact once more. 

Komi turned back towards the group as Tadano clenched his fists in excitement and raised them up to his chest like a kid, once again letting out a small squeal. Seeing the both of them turn red was a cute sight, but it ached her in a way that she had not known before. 

“Maybe it won’t be the same as before.” Manbagi came to a saddening realization, or rather accepted the truth she had denied so far. As she went away from the scene, deciding to try and find someone else to have lunch with, she kept thinking about it.

“Why would it stay the same? They're a couple now. Did you really think nothing would change?”

“...Idiot.”

Manbagi tightened her fists around her thumbs as she walked on, trapped in her own mind and its unrelenting, self-inflicted attacks. 

- – —

“Hahhhh…” Manbagi grunted.

“Bagiko, you’re like, totes uncool today.” Shiroki Yuka said. “Are u O.K.?”

“Huh? Ah, I'm fine, just a bit tired.”

「※ False」

“C’mon, girl, be FR.” Shiroki pouted. “I can tell you’re down.” 

“...” Manbagi hesitated for a moment. Yuka did always know what even the most stoic people were feeling. “Well… I remember when I first realized that Shouko had feelings for Tadano, during their performance…” Manbagi looked down at the grass sticking out from underneath the tiles in the schoolyard. “I cried. I accepted that it was over for me immediately.”

Shiroki put her hand on Manbagi’s back to comfort her as she continued.

“I cried so much my eyes got swollen. I thought that I’d lost my chance with Tadano, and that if Shouko found out, I’d lose her, too… So I tried to hide how I felt. I acted like everything was normal, and tried distancing myself from Tadano until I calmed down.” Manbagi sighed. “He immediately knew something was up. That Tadano, am I right? Always reading the room…”

Manbagi clenched her fists on her uniform as she let out a forced laugh.

“So you ended up chilling with Shokotaso at the festival, right?” Shiroki recalled their encounter with her and the Gyarus.

“Yeah… until I ran off crying when Komi realized I was hiding something, too. It had to be the two of them that realized it out of everyone in the school, huh?” Manbagis knuckles tightened around her uniform. 

“Komi found me, and no matter how much I tried to give up, or what I said to her, she insisted that I should still try.” She sniffled, and added: “And I wonder if any of that mattered if the result was the same.” 

Shiroki’s expression turned into a frown as she hugged Manbagi.

“Was all of that even worth it in the end? If I had just given up then, wouldn’t it hurt less now?”

“...That’s a bad way of looking at it, Bagiko.”

“Huh?” Manbagi turned to look at Shiroki, who moved backward to be able to look at her.

“I mean, didn’t U 2 help each other along the way? If you just dipped, how can you say they’d even hit it off? Or, alternatively, you and Tadano?”

Manbagi stopped to consider her words. “I mean… we did help each other along the way, but-”

“But? Girly, I don’t know what happened, and I’m not asking you to tell me right now, but when we first met her she could barely even communicate with you . If you think you didn’t help her, you’re wrong.” Shiroki cut her off, taking on a more serious tone. 

Just as Manbagi was about to reply, the school bell rang.

“Ah, we should get going.” Manbagi forced out her words as she got up. 

“Hey.” Shiroki put her hand on Manbagi’s shoulder. “Don’t go through this alone. I know it’s what you tend to do… but don’t forget you have friends to talk to.”

Manbagi gave a weak nod in response. “Right.”

Manbagi did end up doing that often. Either because she didn’t think it mattered, or because she shouldn’t bother her friends with things like that.

But this time, there was a different reason. She remembered her talk with Shouko on the staircase. She said that she’d feel jealous and hate it if someone else was with Tadano.

So why, despite her feeling the same, can she not talk to anyone about it? She should feel happy for her friend, so why can’t she? Why does she only think of herself in this time of supposed joy?

She got to her class and saw them make eye contact again while she had an idle talk with Maya to distract herself, followed by a scream from Emoyama. 

She loves them both so much, and she really does just want what's good for them. 

So why does she have these selfish thoughts when she sees them? These desperate hopes of something happening, accompanied by painful feelings of sadness at the sight of them at their happiest and concluded by self hatred for those thoughts even existing?

Could Shoko understand if she tried to talk to her about it?

Manbagi decided to try and put herself in a situation where she’d have to address the issue. If pushing herself mentally to open up wouldn’t work, it’s time to shove. She was going to invite Komi to a sleepover.

Chapter Text

So as it turns out, talking to Komi about her issues was no easy task for Manbagi. 

Even in the “ideal situation” to force herself to do it, she couldn't tell Komi how she felt. About her selfish feelings. About her hidden struggles.

—

Being asked by (a drunk) Shuuko Komi about her love life was NOT a good start to the sleepover. “Oh, it's actually the worst it's ever been. My mental state is p much in the dumps, too, and it's p much because of your daughter dating the man I love” isn't an answer you should give to someone at any cost, especially not when they're hosting you.

“Auuughhh…” Manbagi moaned, grasping her cup of grape juice. “Nawt that good, girl.” 

“Aw, sweetie, you've got it pretty rough, don'tcha?” Shuuko smiled at her, gripping her cup which was filled with wine.

“Can't say the same about Shouko here, though, amirite? Guys just swoon over her. The girlies, too.” She nudged her embarrassed friend with her elbow.

“Oh, tell me more. ” 

“Okay, so a few days ago, she and her booooyfriennnnd Tadano-” Manbagi emphasized as she moved her shoulders up and down. 

“BOYFRIEND?! IS THAT TRUE?!” Shuuko burst, her face filled with glee.

Shouko, on the other hand, looked at her with a slightly upset expression. Why did causing her friend to feel uncomfortable bring up a weak sensation of relief…? Of satisfaction?

“Was I… not supposed to say that?”

The two quickly ran upstairs and locked Komi's door before they were forced into an investigation by Shuuko.

“I…” Manbagi mumbled. “I'm sorry…”

It wasn't until a sob was heard that Komi looked up from the floor.

“I'm sorry… ‘s'just been so embarrassing lately…” Tears streamed down Manbagi’s face. “It’s like you two are in your own world… and when I see you two looking at each other, I…” 

Her thoughts went in horrible directions as she sobbed. “And it's like you left me behind. And it's like you forgot about me. I feel pain. I feel sorrow. I feel envy. I feel anger. I feel things that I don’t want to feel.”

“I don't want you to hate me…” she continued. “I came here so we had a chance to-to maybe grow clooser… but I feel like I end up doing the opposite…” Manbagi bawled as Komi tried to assure her that it wasn't the case, lunging at her with a hug.

“R…really…?” Her crying relaxed when a nod was given as a response.

Manbagi felt her chest tighten. “How much do you love me?” 

Komi stretched her arms to the sides as quickly as she could.

“H…how much do you love Tadano?”

Shouko turned red as she slowly stretched her arms as hard as she could, even stretching her fingers.

Manbagi’s body worked faster than she could stop it. She called Tadano. “Then tell him.”

“!?”

Manbagi had a voice in the back of her head telling her all sorts of evil fantasies. That somehow, this call would lead to a separation. That they'd break up. She hated it, and herself.

And even if they did, what then?

“YO, TADA~NO!” Manbagi yelled to the phone as she handed it over. “SHOUKO HERE'S GOT SUMN TO TELL YA!” 

Her friend was shaking her head in denial rapidly. The sight hurt her. But that feeling of fulfillment…

After a moment of Komi holding the phone next to her mouth, she hung up (shocking poor Tadano in the process.)

She politely brought Manbagi her phone back and kept shaking her head with seemingly inhuman speed.

A few seconds of silence had hit the room, leaving only the ambient noise of the night and Komi's lamp present.

Until Manbagi started ugly crying again.

“PWEASE…” She wailed, her nose running and her eyes leaking. “DON'T HAAATE MEE…”

“!?!?”

“I don't want to harass you… But I don't know what to do… I keep having these selfish thoughts, and…”

The words never left her mouth. Instead, she just got up, went into Shosuke's room, did a singular pull-up, and went back as Shouko followed her.

—

The sleepover plan failed. While it was pretty fun, her hidden plan and goal didn't come to fruition.

A month had passed since that Valentine's Day, and it was a nightmare. She'd passed through a dozen plans by now. Phone calls, meetups, movie theater, cooking…

This time, she wanted to tell her at school, instead, thinking the pressure from the public environment would make the pressure from telling the truth fall to zero, like a collapsing water tank.

But then, Tadano just had to come with his white day gift. He always had great timing…

“T-that's all you're giving Shouko?” Manbagi blurted out at Tadano's decently sized gift as she dug her nails into her thighs. “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?!”

“Oh, I- I didn't have time to tell her! I couldn't come up with anything good! So I wanted us to go together and find something she'd like!”

“A date.” Manbagi coldly replied, her neutral expression making the morning sun that shone through the classroom window stop causing her eyes to shine underneath its light.

“A date!” Manbagi repeated, louder this time.

Komi nodded, causing her classmates to cheer. “Did I self-sabotage my sabotaging?” She thought. That was a good thing. That was good. She knew it was good.

No matter how much the voice in her head yelled at her to say something like “That's not romantic!”, or “What man lets his GF choose her gift!?”, she knew this was the best outcome. She felt lucky that Tadano was too busy (or rather, no longer caring about her- No, that wasn't it.) to notice her conflicted state. 

But someone else did. Someone who she had forgotten could assess things and start commentating about them like he was involved within moments. 

*Tap, tap*

Manbagi turned around, moving her head away from the cheering crowd next to the couple and the long-haired girl in the window and towards whoever tapped her shoulder.

「Are you alright, Ruumi?」

Chapter Text

「Are you alright, Ruumi?」

Manbagi turned her head to see her friend, Shakku, staring at her with his iconic (and, if their talk during the school trip didn't let her know otherwise, his only) expression. 

“Huh? Oh, I'm good, Chuushaku.” She replied, donning a smile like a mask. “Why'd you ask?”

「You don't seem well.」

Manbagi’s forced smile briefly relaxed before coming back. “What makes you say that? I'm totes fine.” 

「I see. I asked because you seemed out of it.」

“Well, I'm fine .” Manbagi’s tone turned a bit ruder than she intended. She wasn't sure if she was a bad liar, or if her friends just knew her that well. She thought about the culture festival experience with Shouko and Tadano as her chest felt like it tightened.

「※See chapter 225, “I'm Okay”.」

She deceived her friends just like she did now, and had she not been surrounded by people kind enough to know and see through her she'd cry alone during a day of celebration. That talk with Komi-san about not giving up on Tadano had ended up giving her moments she'd never forget. 

But were they worth it?

The suffering she dreaded so badly had arrived either way, and all she did was postpone it, causing it to be worse. She could've been over it by now. She could've been fine, or at least better than she is right now.

At the end of the day, she couldn't know for sure. This pain, the pain that clouds her mind and plagues her soul every waking moment, from the apathetic mornings to the cold, lonely nights was the only way of life that she had known since that day. 

No matter how much she tried to hide it, and no matter how much it hurt her and her relationships.

「Is that so.」The narrator replied.

“Yeah, it “is so”. Why do you always talk like some--”

Manbagi stopped herself from needlessly lashing out at her friend, taking a deep breath. Had she not been in public, she'd probably dig her nails into her hands or bite the inner parts of her cheeks to punish herself for her thoughts - something she did despite knowing it was unacceptable.

But she didn't view herself as someone who fit those standards of basic self-respect or decency. She clearly didn’t respect her friend just now, and hell if she knew she didn't respect Tadano and Shouko with her thought trains sometimes. That kindness was for people who deserved it.

In her own mind, regardless of what anyone would pointlessly try and convince her, she was not a good person. No amount of pep talks and assurances could surpass the number of negative words her mind would spout at her on the daily.

“Yeah.” Manbagi replied, her voice weaker this time than it was before as she began putting back her notebook into her bag. “I'm fine, Kometani.” Her hands began slightly shaking as she put them in, and her heart was hurting. 

It's him, damn it. He could figure secrets out faster than any girl she knew. If there was anyone who could have noticed her pain, it was him. If there was anyone who would have noticed the things she thought about them in her gloomy mind, it was him. 

Please, notice. Please, help me. Don't leave me like this. Anyone, please. 

“So don’t worry about me.” She forced out, stopping herself from emphasizing the ‘me’ worrying it would seem like a clear call for help - for attention. She didn't deserve either of those things. She didn't need them. 

She got herself into this situation, and despite Shouko convincing her like the selfish idealist she is being her good friend, it was her responsibility to deal with it. She didn't need to tell her or Tadano.

Even if she did decide to tell them, she'd just end up losing them.

Manbagi turned from her friend to face the door as she got up from her seat. But for a split second, she could swear she saw his eyebrows furrow. Not in concern, but sadness, dare she say worry as he raised his hand from his knee. It felt like a sword stabbed directly into her soul. 

“He didn't do that, Rumiko.” She thought. “Don't even look back to check. You know you don't deserve that type of care. If he knew- if anyone here knew what disgusting, sickening ideas and hopes you had in your brain- they'd all hate you. Don't even bother telling him.”

She clenched her fist as she stood in place for a moment, debating whether to do what was “right” for herself or to leave, until she lost her inner battle and walked out of the classroom into the sun-lit halls as the crowd hid her from everyone's view.

It was all so fast. Such a short conversation caused so many emotions to build up she had to decide whether to run to the bathroom or try and hold her tears in. Only the black-haired girl standing outside (and Kometani, of course) seemed to notice her exit the class before the bell had rung. 

She wanted to scream. She wanted to sob. She wanted to wail. She wanted to rage. Everything was so unbearable. Her friends couldn't find out, her family wouldn't understand, and she was her own worst enemy. 

Manbagi wanted to just run home, lay face down on her bed, and rot.

Her mind was too exhausted after that to even think. She just walked home in the desolate silence of her mind, feeling a type of pain that made her not even want to bother with anything.

—

“I’m home.” Manbagi announced her return to nobody. Sometimes she’d do it to see if her mother is still home, but being a single mother often meant she’d be back to an empty house. When her mother was home, she’d usually not have the mood or mental power to talk, and more often than not she’d go to bed as she came back. 

Manbagi didn’t blame her for it, but she did feel lonely at times. They did hang out occasionally, though, but she never felt as close to her mother as she did to some of her friends. 

“Anyone here? Mom?” 

Manbagi sighed and went upstairs to her room with slow, heavy steps. It wasn’t like she expected anything besides that outcome, but still…

She walked into her room, fed Hito-kun and flopped onto her bed. She loved that fish. Sometimes it was her only company, so she didn’t have much choice. She thought about the summer festival where she got him until she dozed off.

—

Several hours later, Manbagi woke up sweating. If not for her dozing off under a blanket with her entire uniform on, she wouldn’t care that she fell asleep, but she had to go and change her outfit now.

It wasn’t a rare event for her to feel so bad she simply goes to bed. It certainly beat other coping mechanisms she could use, so she couldn’t complain. It wasn’t like there was anything better to do with her time at home, anyway. And it was definitely better than sulking.

She went to her bathroom to see her messy hair, a bit of dried saliva on her cheek, and ruined makeup. She sighed and stared at her eyes in the reflection, looking and taking in their sadness and pitifulness. 

Oh, how sad. The fool thought she deserved love.

Her brows furrowed in sadness as she sighed and looked away. Suddenly, she remembered Kometani had that same expression earlier today.

Kometani?

She finally understood. She suddenly referred to him by his surname, after an entire year of using his given name and nicknames. She burst out of the bathroom and got to her phone to try and call him. She had to apologize. She had to. Her stupidity estranged him when he was just trying to worry for her.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. 

She picked up her device and tried to find him.

The line you have tried to connect with is unavailable. Please try later.

…”Huh?”

That meant one of three things. Either he had no battery (During the afternoon? please.), he tried to call her (Nobody ever wants to call you, Rumiko. You know what it means.) 

…Or that he had blocked her. Manbagi nearly threw her phone at the wall in frustration as tears began streaming from her face. Of course it happened. Strangers don’t communicate, after all. She slammed her fists on her thighs after redirecting her throw to the bed and yelled out in anger. 

Anger at herself. Anger at the world. Anger aimed at even her closest friends. All she wanted were friends in her life, and now that she had them they all slowly went away from her.

“Maybe this is just how it’s supposed to be.” She thought as she felt her mascara drip alongside her tears. “Maybe I should stay alone. Maybe I deserve to be alone until I just fucking-”

*Beep!*

Chapter Text

「Are you alright, Ruumi?」Chuushaku finally asked.

Ever since white day, Manbagi seemed… off. Her dark amber eyes seemed less lively and her laugh felt stiff. Her smile, which lit up rooms like the sun, had vanished like her jokes. He’d noticed it for a while, but didn’t try to ask as it was obvious as to why she felt that way.

But slowly, Chuushaku had seen a decay in her mental state. She’d stop coming to meet-ups, cease posting her make-up tutorials, and even ditch school sometimes. He was getting increasingly worried for her, but didn’t know how to put it into words. Emotions were a hard subject for him, after all.

Manbagi turned around and smiled at him. It was clearly forced. Her eyes, which usually had a sort of gentle feeling to them- one that brought him a weird sense of comfort he couldn’t describe- seemed like they were carrying the weight of a world filled with pain and misery.

“Huh? Oh, I'm good, Chuushaku.” She replied. “Why'd you ask?”

There it was again. She’d tend to lie when the question was asked, but he knew the truth. She was not fine. Nothing about her behavior was.

「You don't seem well.」He admitted, though “seem well” was an understatement compared to how he remembered her.

Her mouth stopped its facade before her smile had once again showed up. He really disliked that sight.

“What makes you say that? I'm totes fine.” 

「I see. I asked because you seemed out of it.」Chuushaku wanted to call out her lie, not out of malice but out of worry- she needed help. And knowing her, she’s too selfishly selfless to worry others with her needs and ask for it.

“Well, I’m fine. ” Her tone turned sharp enough to feel like something poked Chuushaku’s chest. She may dislike this conversation, but it was necessary. 

His view of things was often more logical and pragmatic rather than appealing to an emotion when dealing with situations like this. He was aware that it wasn’t socially accepted, but it was his way to deal with problems.

No matter how much it could end up hurting him.

「Is that so.」

He suddenly felt anger from Manbagi. Some type of negativity emanated from her for a short second, causing chills to appear on his skin.

She was one of his closest friends, and it felt different than his other friends when they were together. Perhaps she was his best friend based on that. But her unvocalized response had caused him to feel something he never felt;

Like he crossed the line. During his school life, his home life, and his social life, Chuushaku never once doubted his choices. His mouth and his mind were his strongest parts, but never did he consider that he should listen to his heart.

The part of him that gave him all of those overwhelming, annoying emotions. Rage, fear, sadness, loneliness… All of those were just bothersome. Even if suppressing them meant taking the good ones away, he’d do it regardless. The alternative was worse.

And so he did. Locked away behind an invisible dam between his chest and his heart, they weren’t going to force out his tears ever again.

—

Chuushaku was ostracised from his peers since as early as elementary, and this didn’t change. No matter how many schools he moved to, it was always the same. 

“Kids are cruel!” was the excuse. “They don’t know better! Just ignore them.” It never got accompanied by assurance about his flaws.

During the break before middle school, he spent all of his free time learning social behaviors and social trends (He ended up choosing Chuunis due to his interest in gaming.) 

But even so, despite an entirely new getup, personality, and behavior he was mocked for things he couldn’t control. By the third year of middle school, he had given up on trying to fit in. His response to the bullying was to simply ignore them, and himself. Crying or laughing didn’t do him any good, so why bother?

Why bother?

Until that moment, he hadn’t doubted that mindset. His choice to simply not stand out, to take away what made him human and shove it down his deepest pits.

But seeing that split second of a reaction from Manbagi had gotten him to think an uncountable amount of thoughts within the blink of an eye. As if for the first time in his life, the dam cracked.

—

“Yeah.” She said after what felt like an eternity as the sun that peeked through the class window moved away from her eyes, ceasing its beautiful reflection in them while she began packing her bag. 

“I’m fine, Kometani.”

He felt like a brick was chucked at his soul. She never calls him Kometani. It’s either Shakku or Chuushaku.

Surnames aren’t what you refer to your friends by. What did she mean by that? What did he… mean to her?

Kometani tried to say something as his arm lifted from his knee, but failed to do so.

“So don’t worry about me.”

“But I want to!” The thought of screaming flashed through his mind.  

“But I need to! You’re my friend!”

“I care for you!”

“You don’t need to suffer by yourself, Rumiko!”

A thousand phrases ran through his mind, yet none were uttered.

She got up and turned away from him, standing still for a moment before she left the classroom.

“Rumiko…” He thought as he suddenly felt his face remove an expression he didn’t know he had on. “Just what are you going through?”

Kometani sat in class after watching his friend depart. He could notice negative feelings within her, but until she had referred to him by his surname he thought it was certainly something else. 

Did he do something? 

He wasn’t on good terms socially until high school, and it was Manbagi that ended up being the first person to ever give him a nickname. Suddenly being talked to like a stranger, to have it taken away, felt… weird. In a bad way.

Aside from the obvious feeling of sadness, confusion, and hurt from Manbagi's sudden change in behavior (that could have just been her being angry at something else, but he couldn’t say for sure) a new feeling had greeted him. 

It was like an anvil was lying in the center of his body, weighing something down. What is that? 

He was never good with understanding feelings that weren't of others. Occasionally, he would slip up and let his feelings out, but that was incredibly rare by itself. He could bury sadness, joy, sorrow, anger, and (which he managed to hold back perfectly aside from one incident) laughter.

So why was it that, no matter what he did, that weight in his soul wouldn't go? Why did this weird pain in his heart not disappear, no matter what he did? Over such a meaningless thing?

He kept thinking about this issue, his face unchanging as ever until the school bell rang.

—

「I'll try to call her.」 He came to the conclusion after thinking of the situation until the sun began setting. 「But what if she was upset because of someone else? Should I wait it out?」

He kept on switching between the two options until he braved up. He grabbed his phone, opened up the contacts, called “Ruumii🐻” and… his phone immediately said the line was unavailable.

「I see.」 Kometani said to himself.「She must be busy. I’ll send her a message.」

He opened up his LINE, and wrote:「Good evening, Rumiko. I apologize if I offended you today at school. I didn’t mean to harm you in any way. Forgive me.」

He put his phone down, and laid on his bed. He’d never done that before, and it didn’t feel like it was because of the situation being social.

So why now?

Why her?

Chapter Text

Manbagi froze as she heard the notification. 

“Huh?” Both her inner voice and actual voice said in sync, her breakdown taking a brief intermission due to being startled by the lit-up device. She sniffled and turned her head towards it, reaching for it with a shaking hand

As she leaned down and opened her phone, she saw a message from… Chuushaku?!?

「Good evening, Rumiko. I apologize if I offended you today at school. I didn’t mean to harm you in any way. Forgive me.」

Manbagi stared at the screen with her mouth slightly agape. “He’s… apologizing?”

After a few seconds of thoughts running rampant in her head, she quickly went to reply to his message as she sat down on her bed.

“u didnt offend me at all!!!”  She typed. “i was just in a bad mood bc of sm personal stuff”

「Even so, I must have bothered you.」

“Of course he blamed himself… Just keep making people feel bad, Rumiko. That’s what you love doing.” She thought before resuming her typing.

“nono it was just me being stupid”

「How were you stupid?」

“well i was rlly rude n stufd”

“stuff”

「Would you like to talk about it in a phone call?」

Manbagi’s heart skipped a beat for reasons she didn’t understand. 

“yea”

Message reacted to with 👍

“So if he didn’t block me, why did the call…?” Manbagi wondered as she waited for him to dial.

And she kept waiting for another minute.

「Ah, sorry. I thought you would call. One second.」

Manbagi stared blankly at the message. “But he asked to make the call?” She wondered.

As soon as her screen cut to the incoming call menu, she picked up and put the phone to her ear.

“Shakku…?” She made sure to immediately use his nickname.

Kometani felt a weight lift off from between the center of his body as he heard her gentle voice call his nickname.

「Yes.」

“Listen, I’m so sorry about today. I was really mad about things that had nothing to do with you and… accidentally called you Kometani. Not that it’s a bad name!” 

Manbagi facepalmed as she wondered why she said that, as if it wasn’t obvious what she was trying to apologise for. 

“I just didn’t want to give off the feeling that I wasn’t your friend or whatever.”

「It’s okay.」

“No, it's not okay. I was a really bad friend, and-” Manbagi struggled to keep her voice straight as she held back tears. “and I hurt you.”

「I forgive you.」Kometani immediately said. 「You did it out of anger. You apologized.」

Manbagi sniffled, feeling immense gratitude. “T-thanks…”

「Do you want to tell me why you were mad, Ruumii?」

“Not really…” Manbagi suddenly noticed she was slouching on her bed. “It’s nothin’, anyway.”

「Okay.」Kometani said, though he wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth.

Manbagi muted the conversation as she whispered an expletive under her breath. Once again, she took her chance to get help and threw it in the trash. 

As she unmuted, she continued.

“Could we… keep talking?” Manbagi requested. “I haven't… had a lot of conversations recently, with the study camps everyone's been in n’ all…” 

“And Shouko's new relationship will definitely come up if we talk.” She thought.

「Yes. Feel free to call me whenever you want if you feel that, Ruumii.」He assured. Kometani felt an odd sense of relief when she asked to continue the conversation. 

Like a hidden wish was being granted, a lock was being opened inside of his soul.

He didn't like that gentle feeling one bit. As kind as it was to feel that warmth inside him in the cold of his ventilated room, he worried about where it could lead.

What it could mean.

“TY, Shakku… It means a lot.” The little smile that appeared on her face could be heard through the phone's weak microphone, causing the swirling warmth within Kometani's body to arrive in his chest. 

“How've you been? We were so focused on me, that I forgot to ask.” She said, briefly forgetting her worries as she put her head on her pillow. 

「Good. My sister got a perfect score on the project I helped her with.」

「※See Chapter 1.」

“Oh, I forgot about that! What was it about?”

「She needed to make a model family tree.」

As the two talked, Kometani couldn’t help but notice the warmth within him just kept rising. Something was seriously wrong. This shouldn’t happen. Not now. 

But every time she laughed, every time she made a joke… It became more apparent just what that feeling was.

“...Say,” Rumiko asked after a few minutes of conversation between the two. “Do you think Tadano and Shouko are…” Manbagi clenched her fist. What a selfish question to ask, she thought, but she found herself unable to hold herself back from asking it regardless.

“Do you think Tadano and Shouko are gonna stay as a couple?”

「What do you mean?」

“Well…” Manbagi bit her inner cheeks and closed her eyes as a heavy feeling of shame and self-directed disdain washed over her like a wave. “Do you think they’ll… break up soon?”

“Is she really asking this?” Kometani thought.

「No. They seem like a pretty good match.」

“I see.”

「You might not want to ask that question, Rumiko. People could find it rude.」

“Ah, yeah. Sorry about that.” She said as she facepalmed over her stupidity. He’s their friend, too. And even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be accepting of all of her mistakes.

“Don’t tell anyone I asked that, please…” 

「I won’t.」

“Thanks, Sh-”

「On one condition.」

“Huh?”

“A condition? He better not try anything stupid.” She thought. 

「Tell me what’s wrong.」

Silence came from the other end of the call.

「Please.」 He asked. 「I can tell something is wrong.」

“ You’re wrong. I’m okay.”

「Rumiko…」His voice sounded weaker. More exhausted. 

He was about to do something bold. Something he had to drive himself to do. An act of care driven by worry for his friend. Something he never thought he’d say to anyone.

“You’re lying to me, aren’t you?” He asked. His tone was not one of accusation or disappointment. It was worrying; the worst one Rumiko could hear at that moment.

“I SAID I’M OKAY!” She shouted and hung up.

Kometani sighed. He didn’t feel anger or sadness. He didn’t even notice what had happened to his voice just now. All he could focus on was the warmth within him starting to fade as his eyes closed and his forehead began resting on his palms. His logical thought process already knew what that meant.

Why her?

—

Manbagi buried her face in her pillow and screamed. She screamed, raged, and cursed herself as loudly as she could into the muffling cover of her pink pillow. 

Slamming her fist into the mattress, then her head into the pillow, then her head against the wall after deeming the pillow too comfortable, and then…

By the time she came to her senses, she was exhausted. She didn’t know how much time had passed, but she felt worse mentally and physically.

She looked at herself in the mirror and felt like she was staring at a stranger wearing her clothes and make-up techniques. Nothing came up inside her except a deep feeling of emptiness, appearing like a void in her core.

She missed the old Manbagi. The happy one. The one who cared for her friends with all of her heart.

The one that was dead, as far as she could tell. 

Chapter Text

March had arrived, and alongside it the annual spring break began its approach. The transition season weather was at its best — it was the time of the year when students could go out, meet their friends, and make precious memories that’ll last for a lifetime. 

Unfortunately, two individuals woke up at the beginning of the last week of school, the week that students were waiting to come for months, as they carried a heavy burden in their hearts.

The emptiness of despair, and the heartache of worrying. 

—

After the fun-turned-grueling phone call, Kometani sat in silence for minutes on end. He blankly stared at the wall of his room, pondering his decision.

「This is what happens when you open up.」 The thought popped up in his head. 「Nobody ends up benefiting from it.」

He sat on his bed, the cold of the late evening seeping into his bones and his mind.

“But even so, was it not the right thing to do?” He argued against his inner voice. 

「Well, you ended up making her more upset.」

“It wasn’t my intention.” 

「Yet it is what happened.」

“I can’t always be neutral. If I see one of my friends going through something, why should I watch from the sidelines? What good of a friend am I if I do nothing when I'm needed?”

「Is that so? Tell me, what good of a friend were you until now?」

“I–”

Kometani paused. The voice had a point.

He was never there when his friends were struggling. Not when Naruse and Ase had begun dating, nor when he noticed Komi suddenly sulk when Tadano and Manbagi were together, now that he was thinking of it.

The only times he could remember were just now, during Valentine's, and on the trip to New York. 

「Now, what is the common denominator between all of these?」

Kometani clenched his teeth. The answer was clear, but he didn’t want to admit it– or rather, he couldn’t.

He shouldn’t.

「You noticed it, too, haven’t you?」 The idle voice sounded smug.  「How you open up when you’re with her? How the slightest, tiniest bits of Chuushaku dare to crawl out after all this time when you’re together?」

“We’re just friends.” Kometani insisted, not managing to fool himself. 

No answer was heard in his mind, for he knew it was pointless to argue. Even so, he kept denying it as he paced around his room deep in thought.

Helping others is the way to go, that wasn't even a question. He disliked seeing others in hard times, something his intuition let him see more than others. 

But how would he do that? 

Kometani was struggling himself, and hell if he wasn’t handling it well.  But had anyone else looked at him, they'd just see regular old Kometani, the ever neutral commentator. Showing how he felt wasn’t an option, either, because it'd bring unwanted attention from people that would needlessly worry about him. Regardless if it would help him in the end, it's…

Immediately, he snapped his fingers. 

“That's it!” He couldn't stop himself from declaring to the empty room.

He was in the exact same situation as Rumiko. The reason she hung up and the cause for his problems was the key to helping her.

This got him to finally connect the dots on what needed to be done to help his friend— to be the thing he feared attracting so much.

He'd have to show vulnerability. Tear down his walls. Remove the mask he had grown to know as his new self. Show her that there’s someone in this world, a world that can make you feel alone so often it becomes a norm that cares and worries about you. That’d go through the wastelands and the seas of your troubles just so you feel fine.

「That's a horrible idea.」 The inner voice returned.

“Maybe. But how can I expect her to be real with someone who cannot even be real with themselves?”

「...」

Despite what he said to himself, Kometani knew the voice had a point. It was horrible to imagine.

Could the persona he carefully structured and maintained even be taken away? Is there anyone left under it? 

He can talk regularly, but can the same be said for his behavior and his personality? Is it possible to forget who you really are? Could he honestly even say he remembered the young, “annoying” person he used to be?

It was terrifying. There was no denying that. His pragmatic way of thinking told him that it was a horrible idea, and had no chance of working. Yet despite that, it also said that it was this very way of handling his emotions, relying on logic rather than his heart, was what brought him to the current situation. 

Suddenly, an image flashed in his mind — no, into his vision — of Rumiko’s wide, toothy smile that he came to know so well. Her eyes were closed, and her hair and make-up were just the way she told him was her favorite. Simply, but carefully done.

His heart skipped a beat and broke its vow of silence. He had to do it. He didn't feel like he could, and definitely not like it would work, but a feeling of bravery overtook him.

Tomorrow, during the week's first lunch break, he would approach her and try to convey his emotions in a way that he hadn't done in years. ‘Show her, and yourself, who the real Chuushaku is’ Kometani vowed as his fists clenched in determination while entering his bed. 

‘If not for your smile, then for hers.’ was the message that ran through his mind until he drifted off to the land of dreams.

—

Rumiko didn't come to school the next day.

Or the day after.

Kometani was overcome by worry on the third day. This wasn't a coincidence anymore – She was skipping school again. She didn't answer any of his calls, and he tried talking to all of her friends one by one to no avail.

No new posts were made on any of Manbagi’s accounts, no stories, nothing at all. It was as if she disappeared. 

Bouncing his leg in class, his fingers gently tapping the paper of the open notebook so as to not attract attention, Kometani decided to not let this matter resolve itself. After school, he was going to pay the Manbagi Household a visit.

The notebook ended up being used as a makeshift muffler for the rest of the day as the boy kept overthinking, wondering what Rumiko was doing or what she was feeling. He could feel his thoughts drift— from Rumiko’s fears, to her worries, then to the image of her crying, her eyes glistening with light and her soft expressi-

Kometani smashed his knees together in his seat, causing a fantasizing Naruse to flinch from the sound. That wasn't a thing he should be thinking. It was selfish, and not something he should indulge in. She's his friend.

But, after all, is being true to himself not the goal…?

He let out a weak grunt of annoyance, granting him a brief look from Tadano. The second he's dismissed, he's going straight to her house.

—

As the bell rang, Kometani rushed to pack his things. Just when he leaned down to lift his bag off of the floor, a hand touched his shoulder.

“Hey, are you alright?” Tadano Hitohito approached him. “You seemed kind of stressed today.” 

Kometani nodded, not looking at him.

“Also, that reminds me of what I wanted to ask… have you seen Manbagi-San recently?” 

Kometani froze.

「No. Why?」

“Well, she hasn't been to school recently. And besides that, she feels really… distant recently. Like something happened.”

「I wonder what it could be.」 He sarcastically replied. “Does he not understand how it impacted her? Or is he dense enough to think she's over it?” Kometani thought, surprising himself with the sudden change of attitude towards his friend.

“I was going to go with Shouko and check up on her.”

「Oh, no, that is a TRULY horrible idea. Do not do that.」   Had Kometani not been training his self-restraint passively, that sentence would pop out of his mouth. That couple showing up at her house is probably not something she'd want, assuming she asked when they'd break up.

「It's fine. I'm going to go there right now.」

“We'll come with you, then. It would be better if she has a support group.”

「Tadano,」  Kometani finally turned his gaze upwards from the bag towards Tadano. 「I'll go alone. It'd be better that way.」

Tadano scratched his cheek and looked somewhat confused. “...Why?”

Kometani knew that saying he'd make it worse would mean that he'd have two sad friends, so he quickly made up a lie.

「We scheduled something for today last week. It would be a good reason for me to show up instead of coming uninvited.」

“Still, do-”

「Yes. I can handle it by myself, so you can relax.」 Kometani’s glare turned more serious than Tadano was used to as he interrupted him, something he'd never seen happen before.

Tadano nodded. “Right.” 

“Something’s changed with him recently…” Tadano thought.

「I'll see you tomorrow.」 Kometani said his parting greeting as he got up.

“See you later!” Tadano waved.

As Kometani hurried out of the class, he finally understood why it took Hitohito so long to understand how Komi felt towards him.

As wise, kind, and intuitive to a near psychic degree that he was…

He was also a bit stupid when it came to matters of the heart. Not that he was any better with emotional intelligence, either, but it made sense.

After several minutes of sprinting, Kometani finally arrived at the house with the D.I.Y. “Manbagi” nameplate he recognized. As the young lad looked at the nameplate, he could notice things he hadn’t paid attention to before. How its pink color seemed like it faded over the years, meaning it was here for a long while, or the glitters being covered in glue that-

Kometani caught himself spiraling down a distraction and straightened up. He looked at the intercom system, the sun reflecting off it and its dirty silver color glowing. His finger trembled as it approached the “call” button, his hand flinching back numerous times as he got second thoughts.

He took a deep breath.

“You can do this.”

*Click*

Chapter Text

It's well past morning.

That was the girl's first thought when she came to.

Manbagi Rumiko woke up after sunlight broke into her room and ended her long sleep. She didn’t know exactly what time it was, just that turning over in her bed couldn't stop the bright light from forcing her to regain consciousness again.

As usual for her mornings (or in this case, noons), Rumiko spent the first few minutes of the day staring at the white wall her bed was against. The sun had visibly coated it with its infuriating light as well, emphasizing the uncleanness of the room that she had neglected the care of.

The bed hadn’t been made since Saturday, causing the bedsheets to come loose and unveil the mattress. 

The bedside table was covered with dust, alongside two nearly empty water bottles, a broken picture of everyone at the beach, a disconnected alarm clock, and a few empty snack and chocolate wrappers shamefully shoved into a bowl that became a makeshift trashcan. 

The floor was dirty, with a small pile of dust and dirt that seemed as if it reflected the sun’s light from certain perspectives—just another way for the light of Helios to intrude her purposefully secluded living area.

Manbagi grunted and yawned as she stretched her entire body, legs tensed and arms extending after moving the unkempt hair from her eyes. Once more, she had to start a new day and feel the cold sensation of despair write itself onto her soul, word by word and thought by thought, as it erased what brief comfort her sleep had brought.

The weary girl sat down on the bedstead and stared at the room’s disorganized state, another consequence of her mental state. 

As she got up to wash her face, Rumiko stubbed her toe on her table. The sound was loud enough to silence everything else in the room, and yet she didn’t even yell, seemingly continuing on with no reaction besides flinching. It was meaningless to do so, after all. It wouldn't improve anything, right?

“I should just kill myself.”, she thought, the horrible idea coming quickly enough to count as an instinctual reaction – unfortunately, not a rare occurrence in recent times. 

After the girl dried her face, she stared at the Rumiko in the mirror. Despite the fact that she looked into her own eyes, it felt as if there was a stranger staring back at her — lifeless eyes, bad posture, and an expression that read “I’m done with it”. 

“This is it, Rumiko,” She said to the mirror as she leaned on the sink of her room's bathroom. “Rock bottom. You can’t go any lower than this, you fucking loser.” Despite the sudden cruelness Manbagi had aimed towards herself, she couldn’t see her expression change in the reflection. 

“Nobody’s coming to save you now. That's what happens when you make them run from you. It’s just you and this for the rest of your life.” Manbagi continued, announcing her surrender as she stared blankly into her mirror and herself. 

As she went on and listened to herself, Manbagi could feel a dark, all-consuming void grow inside her chest.

Perhaps she should follow through on the idea. Perhaps she should finally gather the guts and let herself- 

*knock*

“Huh?”

——

*Click*

“Uhm, hello?” A mature woman’s voice called out from the intercom. 

「H-hello, this is one of Manbagi- I mean, Rumiko’s classmates. I came here to check up on her since she didn’t, uh, come to school recently.」 Kometani stuttered. 

“Oh, for crying out loud-” The voice answered, its volume loud, causing the already frightened Kometani to stand at attention by instinct. “Sorry, I forgot the shitty microphone got damaged in the rain last week. I’ll come right out.”

「...」 As he sighed in relief, Kometani thought about how he didn’t know that the kind mother he knew could get this angry about things. 

After a few awkward seconds of silence, the front door opened to a woman who, barring the way she did her hair and the lack of a tan, looked just like what you’d imagine for a grown up Rumiko.

“Oh, is that you? Uhh, Komi?” She said, her eyes struggling under the brightness of the outside. “Wait, no, Komi’s that pretty girl.” She added under her breath, snapping her fingers as if she was trying to remember. “KOMETANI! My bad, I’m not good with names, as you can see. It's been a while!” The woman let out a slow, short chuckle as she put her hand to her mouth. “Oh, and sorry you had to hear me get upset like that, I thought you might be a neighbor.”

「No worries.」 Kometani nodded. 「Everyone gets mad.」

“What were you saying earlier? As you've probably noticed, the trashcan that our resident’s association forced us to buy so ‘our Neighborhood looks more advanced’ has the durability of a damn paper bag.” She asked and mimicked an unfamiliar voice mockingly.

Despite the calm tone she kept with him, it felt like there was incredible rage lurking behind each word, which made Kometani choose his words carefully.

「I came to check up on Rumiko. She hasn’t gone to school in a few days, and…」 He paused, considering his choice of words. 「...The class has been worried about her.」

“Oh, tell everyone who bothered showing up to come in.” She laughed.

「...」Kometani pressed his fingers onto his legs.

“Jokes aside,” A serious expression appeared on her face. “I wish I could say that. She hasn’t even let me come into her room for days. I’m worried about her as well.”

「Even so, I still think I should try-」

“Oh, that wasn’t denial. Please do try to help her.” The woman moved away from the door, shaking her head and gesturing to Chuushaku to come inside. “Do anything you can, even tear down her door with an axe if you think it would work. You’re clear to do anything.”

「That seems… unnecessary.」 Kometani scratched his cheek.

“Just try to help my Ru-Ru feel good again.” The mother looked incredibly worried as a sad expression appeared on her face while she started grabbing her own arm. “Please.”

「I’ll do my best.」 Kometani accepted the overwhelming responsibility as he stepped inside, going up the stairs towards her room.

「Calm down, Chuushaku. Just try your hardest to be yourself.」 A picture of Rumiko crying appeared in his mind as his heart tightened, and his fist clenched around his thumb. 

「Come on, you have to do it. Think about what state she's in right now. Do it for her. For her, for her, forherforherfor--」 He repeated as he got his courage concentrated up just enough to knock a singular time on her door.

After a brief moment of silence, a faint voice could be heard. A voice that his heartbeat responded to before his mind, playing it like an instrument.

“Go away, Mom.” An annoyed Rumiko called out, standing next to the photo covered door.

「...It’s me, Rumiko.」 The boy meekly replied from the other side.

The young Manbagi flinched in shock as her friend’s unique way of speaking reached her ears.

“SHAKKU!?!??” She yelled in surprise. Her room was not in a visiting state, and she’d never be able to get it in order before he would try to come in.

「Please let me in. I’m worried about you.」

“...No.”

「Rumiko, please-」

“I s-said no.” She intended to shout, but her voice came out shaky. “...Please go home.”

Kometani sat down and leaned against the wooden door. 「I’m afraid I can’t do that.」

“Why?” Rumiko asked. She was going to try to tire him out, to make him give up on her.

Just like she did with herself.

「Because…」 Chuushaku hesitated. 「Because I miss you.」 He gulped. 「Because you haven’t been like your usual self for a while now, and…」 A certain type of sensitivity came out of him, one that she– and he himself– hadn’t heard before.

「I’m worried about you. I care for you, Ruumii. Even if you don’t.」 He hugged his knees. 「Even if you're feeling so bad that you end up hurting the people around you. I know you don't want that to happen, either, deep down.」

“But… but why? Why do you still care? After everything that I said to you? Everything I did-”

“Because we’re friends, right?”

…!

Kometani shot up, nearly hitting his head on the doorknob as he realized what happened. It wasn’t intentional. 

It wasn’t intentional…

The embarrassment made him want to jump out of the window. But before he could even consider running away –

*click* *turn* 

Rumiko opened the door slightly, just to peek out. 

She was, very visibly, doing badly. 

Compared to her usual self, at least. All he could see was a small bit of her face and arm.

Her hair was messy, she had a stained shirt on, and her nails seemed like they were growing without any attention paid to them as her fingers wrapped around the door which brought forth a burst of unpleasant air.

Yet, despite all of that, Chuushaku felt the same bubbly feeling he did when he saw her at her best.

“...” She went back inside her room, leaving the door slightly ajar as she seemingly allowed him to enter.

As his worrying overcame his hesitation, filled with fear and determination, Kometani walked inside.

It was time to do everything he could. 

To let out anything he could.

For his friend – the first person to make him laugh like he did on that fateful day – he had to give it his all.

Chapter Text

Rumiko’s room was in a disastrous state– everything was messy, from the floor to the desk, and the air in the room felt like it hadn’t been ventilated in days. The girl wasn’t any better herself: from wrinkled clothes to unkempt hair, her mental state had never been this bad.

It was nothing like how Kometani knew her. It saddened him in a way that was unknown to him before.

Rumiko felt ashamed of the situation she was in. “Go ahead. Just laugh.” She thought as she sat on her bed, staring at the floor. “Say what you think. ‘Wow, you reallllly let yourself go. Didn’t even throw away the wrappers either, fatty. No wonder Tadano chose Shouko, she probably had enough motivation to go shower in the last few days.’ Is that it?”

「What’s wrong, Rumiko?」 He asked after taking a deep breath. 「Please be honest with me.」 It was rare to hear him sound so… earnest.

“Of course he’d care. You shitty friend, always assuming the worst about the people who care about you the most. You don’t deserve them. You don’t deserve anything.” 

「Rumiko?」 Chuushaku called out her name again, pulling her out of the self-hating fantasy. 「I promise that I’ll listen.」

“...’S not the listening that I’m scared of.” She said, her posture worsening.

「What do you mean?」He approached the bed, sitting next to her after some inner consideration.

The shame and fear stricken girl turned her face away from him. “Well… You won’t look at me the same.” 

Kometani looked at her hand and hesitated on whether he should reach for it or not. It may comfort her, but his judgment could be clouded as holding her hand would be a thing that would grant him selfish joy.

「I promise I will.」 He vowed as his hand returned to his knee. 「And I’m not going home until you do.」

“…Jeez, you just won’t give up, will you?” Manbagi let out a weak chuckle and clutched her pants. “Well, you better get ready to break your promise.”

Kometani adjusted his position, preparing himself.

“It’s about… Tadano and Komi-San. Well, it started that way. But I bet y’already knew that, didn’t ya, Shakku?”  She revealed, recalling their phone conversation.

「Started that way? What do you mean?」

“At first… it was just sadness. What you’d expect from getting your heart crushed on Valentine's. I thought it’d just be like that for a few days, and I’ll be over it. Stupid, right?” She laughed, though nothing funny was said. “I thought I’d just go back to school and nothing would change. That the days’d go by like they did before. Even better, since I wouldn’t have that stupid ‘competition’ in my head all day.” 

Chuushaku could only stare as her grip turned hard enough for her knuckles to change color.

“But… things didn’t get better. Whenever I saw them together, I could feel jealousy just come out of me. I’d see him, and just wish for as much as a single, brief touch deep down. I’d see her, and I could feel envy, and anger, that Shouko just didn't deserve getting. Especially not from a ‘friend’. Thoughts that shouldn’t be aimed at them. Hope that…” 

She choked on her own words.

“I never wanted any of it. I never wanted to be in this situation. All I wanted was… Just to feel like someone really–”

She sniffled, then faked a cough to hide it.

“I keep wishing that they break up, or that Tadano suddenly regrets his choice, or that he leaves her as quickly as he left me. But then I imagine how Shouko would feel, and…” 

She sobbed as her words started coming out choked. 

“The more I see them, the more these… stupid, selfish thoughts keep coming, and I hate them, and I hate myself-”

Tears started flowing from her eyes.

“I really do. But they just keep coming. They just keep h- hurting–” 

A wail escaped from her throat. 

“I-I keep wanting to be with them… But when I do, I feel like someone tied my heart to an anchor and… and that I hate them… and they don’t deserve a “friend” like me…” She forced out, her voice shaking. “And I keep trying to sabotage them, but I can’t help it…”

She turned towards Chuushaku, expecting to see his disgusted face, however that may look like.

But all she could see, accompanied by the expression she knew, were eyes filled with worry. With empathy.

With understanding.

「I’m listening. It’s okay.」 Despite how much it hurt him to hear her crying, Kometani remained calm. He had to. 「I’m here for you.」

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. A loud, ugly cry came out of her as she started sobbing and hugging Chuushaku, catching him off guard as her mental wall crumbled down. 

“I just can’t take it anymore!” She yelled, resting her chin on his shoulder. “I hate them! I hate these thoughts! I hate myself! Everything keeps reminding me of it! Even when I lock myself in my room, I still-!!!”

Tears started flowing down onto his shirt as she held onto it with force.  

“I’m… just so… tired…” Rumiko said, her voice so hoarse and weak it was hard even for Chuushaku to hear. “I don't know what to do anymore. I should've just given up…”

Rumiko took a deep breath.

“Y-you should leave– don't waste your time on someone like me, Shakku-” her weak voice spat out, as if she was asking it for her own sake and not for his. “Just go home and forget about me. I appreciate the care, but u should give your attention to someone who deserves it more than I do.”

Her grip on him loosened. 

“I know that this is the last thing you want to do right now. I know how you always have to try to understand what I'm saying, or how I'm feeling, and… and now you're stuck with helping me. With caring for me. Wouldn't you just be better off going home and pretending like we never even met?”

Kometani held back a tear as he heard these words. It ruined him. Seeing her like this…

He had to pick his words carefully.

「...It’s okay to have these thoughts.」 Kometani interrupted her.

“!!!” She gasped, her teary eyes opening wide.

「I promise you, t-they're normal.」 Chuushaku assured the sobbing Gyaru, while barely managing to assure himself he's doing it right. 「You’re not evil for thinking that way. Everyone has a part of them that thinks what it wants, but it's what you do with those thoughts that counts.」

His next sentence was the one thing he said with no doubt. As if the words came out of his very soul.

 “You’re a good person, Rumiko. Even if you don’t believe it.” He said, then stammered as the sound of his voice reached him.

「I-uh- I really believe- no, I know that if I hadn’t met you, I'd be worse off than I am now. I’m not ‘stuck with’ helping you, I'm here of my own volition. Because you deserve it, Rumiko. Because you're my friend. Because I-” 

He quickly forced out a cough before saying something that may ruin their relationship. 

「Because I care for you. We– all of your friends– do, no matter what happens.」

Her crying resumed, even louder than before, as she unconsciously started marking his back from the force of her grip on his shirt. She’d never expected his acceptance. She never thought she'd deserve it.

「You have every right to hate these thoughts, but… not to hate yourself because of them. The fact that you resent them shows who you really are: a good friend. You still have feelings, but it's okay – It's like a sign you're human, I guess.」   He tried to hide the way he scrambled to find the right words under a guise of confidence.

Her breathing turned erratic as she struggled to answer through her sobs.

「It's only fair that you feel this way. Feelings don't disappear on a whim, they take time. You’re a very strong person, Rumiko. Despite everything, you still try to be a good friend. Even if it hurts you, or when it's hard. Your heart may say bad things, dark things even, but you keep fighting on against it for those you love.」Chuushaku finally let himself hug her back as he came to a realization he couldn't deny anymore.

One that forced that tear out of him, a tear that snuck when his heart's gates opened just now and slid down his face silently.

He loved her.

 “That’s pretty noble of you, right, Ruumii?”

Rumiko’s grip on him turned as tight as it could get, bordering on painful.

“AHM SORWY!” She shouted through her river of tears. “I- I kept pushing you away and– and kept hurting you– and you had to come here because- you still cared for me and- UWEHHH!”

「It’s okay. I forgive you.」 He said as Rumiko’s ugly crying continued, leaning more into the embrace. 「You didn't mean to do any of it. You weren't well. And I’m sure they would think the same if they were here instead of me.」

Rumiko sniffled as she tried not to get his shirt dirty. “Do you mean it?”

「I know it.」 He said, patting her back. 

Rumiko's embrace turned softer as she slowly started collecting herself. A brief moment later, after he helped her calm down, Rumiko put her hand on the back of his head as she leaned back. 

He quickly wiped his face, something Manbagi took note of, as he felt the brief gesture of gratitude. A gesture that felt unforgettable despite the brief moment it took, at least for him. 

“...Thank you.” 

Chuushaku’s eyes couldn’t bring themselves to look back into hers from the embarrassment. As if fate dictated it to be so, the moment he looked away was the moment her sleeve moved to reveal her arm–

And with it, a band-aid which made his body freeze up and stop her from moving away. Dread and fear filled the body of the commentator to the point his mask had shattered and his terror-filled face was unveiled.  

He never would have thought it was this bad.

“Uh… Shakku? What are you-” She asked, confused, until she figured out what he'd seen by where his anxious eyes were aimed.

The words passed through Chuushaku as if he weren't there. His heart felt like it was shattering against the bed beneath him, with cold, sharp shards of emptiness coming out and slicing his entire body. For her to get to this point…

“Oh, that? Well-” Manbagi began stuttering. “I got mad and d-dropped that picture frame from my desk, and I tried to grab it as it fell out of instinct…” Manbagi's speech accelerated. “...And a bit of glass ended up flying off and cutting me. It won't leave a scar, but it really bled for a minute!” A forced laugh was heard.

“Rumiko.” His voice dropped its neutrality as seriousness filled it, while he gently reached for the injury with a quivering hand to inspect the band-aid and put his palm over it.

Her chin shivered for a moment. 

“Seriously! You can even see the glass I cleaned up in a pile over there.” Manbagi added, pointing.

He looked into her eyes. His gaze was serious, piercing yet gentle and caring all the same – every single bit of his fears regarding expression vanished under the intense feelings that he had for her. 

As she looked away, Kometani realized he may be overwhelming her. As much as he l- cared for her, he had to think of her current state and not just her long-term mental health.

“...Sorry. It’s okay.” Chuushaku said, hugging her again and trying to sound gentle and comforting as his arms wrapped around her back. “Just try to prioritize your safety first next time something like that happens. I don't blame you– I can’t say whether I’d try to… reach for something that fell from my hand if I were in your place. Just… just try to take care of yourself, all right?” 

Rumiko opened her mouth, as if to say something, then simply nodded silently.

“When do you think you'll be ready to come back to school?” Chuushaku asked, leaning back as he tried to change the subject.

“I'll do my best to come back tomorrow! You can let teach know.” She gleefully answered, happy to move on from the previous conversation. 

「That's great. But I think you could tell her when you see her. She'll appreciate it.」

“...” Manbagi felt a strange disappointment at his return to form. It was nice to see him open up for once, as brief as it was. “Right.”

「Do you need help organizing your room?」Kometani inquired.

“Huh?!?” She voiced in shock.

「Oh, sorry. I-I didn't mean to-」 He waved his arms in front of him, anxiously.

“N-no, it's fine, I just didn’t think you'd say that. I'd love it if you helped.” Rumiko replied, slightly embarrassed, and slid her hand through her hair. 

「Right. Let's get started, then.」

The two got to work as they caught up. Chuushaku told her about what happened at school and summarized the classes she had missed, while Rumiko talked about things she learned by ‘doomscrolling’ for the past few days. Before they knew it, the room looked like new (aside from the shattered picture frame.)

“We're done already, huh?” Rumiko looked at her room, feeling pride at how neat it looked.

「That's because I did everything while you sat around.」 He joked.

“Wha-HEY! I did just as much as you!” 

「Sure.」

“Oh, now you've done it…” She giggled, then looked at her reactivated alarm clock.

“It’s getting real late. You should try and catch the bus, or you'll have to walk back home in the dark. Probably gonna run into some shady people, or worse: Ms. Omojiri. Yes, she lives here, and yes, she immediately became friends with my mom.” Rumiko rolled her eyes.

「That might just be the worst thing that can happen to a student.」

“Worst thing that can happen to anyone, RLY. N that means something coming from me.”

They both laughed, this time with a good reason to do so. For the first time in ages, Kometani felt like he was talking to his friend as he knew her, and Manbagi felt like a piece of herself was back.

「If you want me gone, just say it.」 He smiled.

“A real comedian today, aren’tcha? Go on, git! Shoo!” She laughed.

“He teared up for me…” A thought abruptly appeared in Manbagi’s head. 

As if by instinct, she took him into a tight hug of gratitude from behind, which made him tense up in surprise. 

“...You'll make someone real happy one day, Shakku.” Rumiko said as she laid her head on his shoulder and rested it against his face. “I mean it.”

Despite how kind her words were, and how comforting he found her voice and warmth, it felt like getting sucker punched in the heart to hear them. He was lucky that she couldn't see his face as he felt an expression of sorrow won it over.

After all, “someone” wasn’t enough.

What he truly wanted, deep down in the most repressed parts of his heart, was her.

Kometani nodded and melted into the warm touch he wished could last forever before stepping out of the room.

“See you tomorrow, Rumiko?”

Manbagi smiled back at him with her signature toothy smile, a sight that Chuushaku missed so much yet filled him with both joy and heartache all the same.

“See ya tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

It has been 10 days after the school year ended, which meant that April 6th had come. The day the new school year starts, and in his case, the final one. 

Kometani had arrived earlier than usual, using his free time to try to understand his emotions in a better way. After that fateful realization during his visit to the Manbagi household, he could barely talk to her (not that there were plenty of opportunities – the school year ended pretty much immediately after she came back.) He had to be certain about what he felt before he could start dealing with it, or even begin to consider whether he should act on those feelings with Rumiko’s current state. If he messed up, he'd ruin their friendship and potentially harm her mental state even further, let alone the effects on himself.

He only thought of her negative reaction once before spiraling down this negative cycle. 

A horror, potentially disgust filled face with a hint of betrayal, alongside the potential interpretation of his worrying to be only fueled from affection was something he only needed to perceive once before shutting down the idea of opening up as a whole.

So how was he going to do it, you may ask?

Not by talking to a friend, confronting his feelings by himself, or trying to read up on the matter;

He was going to go to the school's one and only Delusion Club.

After all, what better way to handle the situation than to go to the one place in the school where people talk about love freely, and not having to reveal his identity and ‘self’ while doing so?

The boy believed that seeing how other people think of their romantic interests would help him understand how to handle his infatuation, if he even had one. Despite admitting his feelings (to himself. He did not dare to even whisper it to an empty room, let alone reveal it to Manbagi), he still felt a need to know if love really resided within him. No matter how unreasonable a voice in his head seemed to tell him the act was, it was a decision he decided to stick with.

Kometani had come prepared. He brought a black paper bag (the club uniform) with the letter K scribbled on where his forehead would be, since it was the first character that wasn't taken according to the listing by pure chance.

—

*knock*

The door to the barely lit room had opened after a single knock, revealing a group of teenagers sitting in a circle on the floor.

“Ah, brother K, how are you? You must be new here.” The one who opened the door, a boy his age with the letter B on his paper bag, welcomed him. “The regulars are already here, so that confirms it, yeah?

Kometani nodded.

“Good, good. Come and sit down with us.” He gestured towards the circle.

「This feels more like a cult than a school club…」 He mumbled, approaching the group, sitting down next to member “T” and member “A”.

“Now then. Is everyone here? If so, I will commence the anniversary special edition, ‘Who Would You Date Meetup’! Mask M, do you want to start?”

—

It was a sunny day, but not too sunny. The weather was probably… Good for a date. Like a cute one, l-

“Sorry to be a delus-interrupter, but…” Mask A said. “You don't have to do an intro. Just lean into it, and we'll get it.”

“R-right.” Mask M said.

—

It was a sunny day in Itan High, and the blonde-haired, pure-hearted teen was going to confess to his crush.

Katai had planned that confession for months– he read books on how to do it, saw video tutorials, got advice from friends of both genders, and watched romance shows so that he could replicate it.

But at the moment he saw her– those eyes, that smile, the little decoration in her hair-

They were all so… average. Yet they captivated his heart more than anything else.

“Oh, what's up, Makoto?” The girl said, causing his heart to skip a beat.

“...G...” Katai wanted to say good morning, but all that came out was what could be interpreted as a grunt of intimidation. 

Yet, even so, the girl understood and laughed. Not a laugh of ridicule, but one of affection.

“Haha! Good morning to you, too!” She smiled.

“...I…” Katai said. What he wanted to say was the first part of a long speech he prepared about her personality, her soul, her beauty– before his social struggles took 99.9% of his linguistic knowledge. 

“EH!?!?” The average girl gasped and blushed, covering her mouth with both hands. “Do you… really mean that?!?”

Katai nodded. The thing he loved most about her was how she always knew what he wanted to say, what he felt like. He was overjoyed that this was the case this time as well.

For all his struggles, for all the people who feared him when he simply wanted to befriend them, he had her as a bright light that distanced everything that darkened his soul.

“I… feel the same…” The girl turned her head downwards and flushed, looking up at Katai.

—

「What the–?!」 Kometani thought. 「It's like I could see it happen…」

“That was… so beautiful…” Mask A sobbed. 

Mask C clapped. “You should get a job in writing.”

「Is this the true power of delusions?」 Kometani wondered as he looked around, seeing member J look upset and member T look disturbed. 

“Now for our second-newest member, Mask S?

The boy whose mask had the letter “S” finely written on it nodded.

—

It was a bright day. The weather was roughly 24c°, and the wind was around 3KM/H. The two students, Shota Kori and Nanoda Kyara, were sitting in a sun-lit classroom on the second floor of Itan, and the class had a 95% attendance rate.

The day was around 44 minutes from ending, and there were 28 lines of text in each of their note-

“Hey, mask S? Do you have to describe everything like that? It's giving me a bit of a headache, trying to imagine all of those things…” Mask B asked, holding his head.

Mask S immediately got up and went towards the door. “Those who cannot appreciate the fine details in life do not deserve this story.” He declared as he left and closed the door behind him.

––

“... Anyway, You're a great first-timer, M. Perhaps one of the greatest we had. Now, how about you?” Kometani froze as mask B turned towards him. “Member K?” 

Kometani had to come up with a plan, and he had to do it quickly. No matter what he did, his voice was recognizable. He's the only one who speaks the way he does.

“Told you this was a bad idea. You’re cooked.” His inner voice said.

Kometani gulped. Unless…  

“Right.” Chuushaku nodded.

“What a beautiful voice…”  The thought passed in the mind of every other member.

“So… my…” Kometani mumbled, his voice weak. “It goes like–”

“Hey.” A voice called. “Don't think too much. Just speak from the heart.”

“From the heart…”

Kometani took a deep breath, concentrated on his chest, opened his mouth, and-

—

It was raining. It felt like it never stopped raining. Kometani laid down in his cold bed after he woke up, staring outside the window at the gray sky and empty street. It all felt so… meaningless. Like nothing's going to change.

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. 

“Shakku… Are u down in the dumps again?” A voice worried.

“...Yeah.” He replied, his voice devoid of emotion, though the warmth was appreciated dearly.

He leaned into the embrace as she put one hand on his cheek, comforting him verbally and physically. “Don’t worry. I'm here for you. Promise.”

“Why? Even now?” He asked, turning towards her. “Even when I can’t show you the love you show me, Ruumii?”

“‘Cause I know it's still there. And even if it wasn't, I still won't leave you.” She hugged him closer, their foreheads touching. “I'm here for you.” 

Her warmth heated them both up, bringing a kind emotion to his mind, which was surrounded by the cold of the world, a cold that seemed impenetrable until then. 

“But I can’t help you the way you help me.” He stared into the eyes of his tan-skinned partner. “I can't show you the same care you do towards me.”

“C'mon, silly!” She laughed. “Love isn't a transaction!” 

“B-”

“No buts. I love you, and that's a promise, not just a word. Now shut up.”

“...You… I really owe you, Rumiko.” He gently caressed her face. “If love truly is a promise, then I hope you know my promise will last my entire life.”

“Wha- DON'T GO BEING ALL ROMANTIC ALL OF A SUDDEN!” she yelled in fake anger, turning a warm red in his arms immediately. 

He smiled at her kindly, a sight that calmed her and made her return the gesture. Their faces came closer, within inches of a kiss. Kometani wanted nothing to change anymore, to stay at this moment forever as their lips came close and-

“ENOUGH!” A scream was heard from mask D. “AS TEAR-JERKING AS THAT STORY WAS, THERE IS A STRICT NO KISSING RULE!” 

“What?” Kometani asked. “What do you mean–” 

The masked boy sniffled. “THIS VIOLATION OF THE CLUB IS BRINGING ME TO TEARS!”

“He's definitely just trying to hide the fact he's crying…” Everyone else thought.

—

As Kometani got up to leave, all he could feel was annoyance at his cut-short fantasy the waste of time. While he needlessly confirmed his very obvious feelings, he didn’t learn anything else. Looking back to see if he forgot anything, he could see that member T was staring at him. Everyone else was in another delusion by the time he grabbed his things, but he was out of it. Why was that?

--

After quickly running off before the rest of them finished their shared delusion and finishing the lookout to see if he was followed, Kometani went into the bathroom and flushed his paper bag. Excessive, but he wanted no chance of being found out.

“That was a waste of time.”   A voice said in his mind. “You know you love her.”

「I couldn't say it for sure.」 Kometani thought. 

“Or were you just too scared to?”

「...」

Kometani knew the voice was himself, but he still wondered why it had to be so blunt sometimes.

“But still, that ‘delusion’... It takes guts to say that out loud. Well done.”

He stayed silent at the rare reaffirmation from his inner voice.

“...Let's check the new classes. They're probably on the announcements board, where the club advertisement was.”

Kometani washed his hands and left the boy's restroom. Just as predicted, there was a new announcement on the board.

“Year 3 Sitting Charts”, divided into all the classrooms. His eyes ran across each board as he looked for his name. He did it with a weird sensation of anxiety within him, as if he was hoping for something. 

When he finally found his name and location, he froze.

And a gleeful, uncontrollable, childlike smile appeared on his face.

Chapter Text

It has been 10 days after the school year ended, which meant that April 6th had come. The day the new school year starts, and in her case, the final one. 

There were only 20 minutes left until the school day’s first bell, and Rumiko had just arrived at Itan High. The sun shone brightly over the area, the wind was gently blowing, bringing the smell of spring alongside its iconic leaves, and the overlapping chatter of students was like white noise for sleeping stray cats.

It was exciting and terrifying simultaneously — this would be the final time she’d experience this. The new class, first impressions of future friends… In a way, she was already missing it.

Taking the first step (that she intentionally used her right leg for) into the school, Manbagi’s worries intensified. Was her spontaneous hairstyle change ugly? Could she have missed a stain on one of her clothes in the morning rush? Was her make-up too much? 

「※The answer to all three is negative.」

She smacked her cheeks. “Calm down, Rumiko. You’re fine. Just gotta make it through the morning, and it’s gonna be like last year.” She smiled.

“Wait, the start of last year was bad…!” Memories of the incredibly silent first week of the previous year flooded Rumiko's mind.  

As she walked on towards the main hall to check her new class and seating placement with newfound stress, Manbagi noticed a familiar tan and hairdo at the corner of her eye. 

“OMG! BAGIKO!? Y’ALL SEEIN THIS?” Muu-Tan’s voice was heard from just outside her eyeview, calling out for someone else. Turning her head towards the sound, Rumiko saw her sisters in subculture together on a bench: Shiroki “Yukapoyo” Yuka, Isu “Gonzales” Siori, and Kuroita “Muu-Tan” Mutsumi.

“YOOOOO!” Gonzales yelled, hyped up and raised her clenched fists towards her chest in excitement.

“W/O TELLING US B4?” Yukapoyo asked in shock.

“Ah, sorry, y’all!” Manbagi awkwardly said, approaching them. “’Twas spontaneous.”

“You look soooo goood, girl.” Yukari complimented, bringing nods of agreement from the other girls.

“Still, a photo would be nice…” Muu-Tan pouted. “Or anything. What’s with U disappearing lately?”

“YEAH! Y’HAVEN’T BEEN COMING TO ANY OF OUR MEETINGS LATELY! ARE U O.K.?” Shiori’s loud, intense voice almost made her seem like she was mad at times. “PLZ LET US KNOW HYD. WE WERE SOOOO WORRIED!” She held Manbagi’s hand as she sat down in the middle.

That also applied when she was caring.

“Ah, about that…” Manbagi hesitated. Should she tell them? Nothing happened with Chuushaku, but it might just be him. Would they get mad at her for not being a girl’s girl and support Shouko? What if they’d think something along the lines of “Oh, she’ll turn on us next.” or even worse?

“Uhh…” Rumiko hesitated. “I’ve been… a lil bit ill.”

“FR?” 

Before Rumiko could stick to the lie, a sudden quote derailed her train of thought. 

「And I’m sure they would think the same if they were here instead of me.」  

…!

“Why did I just remember that?” She thought. 

Hesitation began to grow in her mind.  

“...If he really did think so, then…” A strange resolve built up within her. “Could they react the same way? Could they understand? Empathize?”

“...Forgive?”

“...LMK rq, If someone, like, started dating ur crush, how would u feel? Someone who’s, like, ur bestie4life?”

「※Manbagi tends to use excessive Gyaru speak when she's nervous.」

The girls exchanged a quick look at one another. So many dots had just connected at once. Her vanishing, the tone whenever she sent a voice message… the poor girl must’ve been going through it. 

“Y’all?” Manbagi awkwardly laughed. “Don't leave me on read…” 

“Is that what happened to you with Shokotasu?” Yukari, blunt as ever, asked.

Despite the surprised reaction from Manbagi and a nudge to the side from the other girls, Yukapoyo stood her ground. “What? No point in actin’ stupid, we all know what happened. Wouldn’t help anyone, either.”

Manbagi shrunk in her seat and looked downwards in shame.  “I… guess that’s right.”

“S’alright. So, what’d you do?” Mutsumi asked, head slightly tilting.

“Huh?” The expression of shame turned into confusion.

“SHE ASKED WHAT U DID.” The husky voice made everyone within hearing range think someone was under police investigation. 

“I… didn’t do anything?” Rumiko asked. “At least nothing that harmed them, anyway…”

“You didn’t even break ‘er nail?”

“I would never mess with anyone’s nail.”

The entire group of gyarus now seemed confused.

“So… What’s the problem?” Muu-Tan queried.

“What’s the problem?” Manbagi was shocked. “I kept thinking about how they-”

“Wait.” Yukari paused her. “I thought u threw stuff through her window or sm. You were just… out here, thinking bad stuff about them?” 

“...Yeah?”

“...” For a moment, it felt like the world went silent.

“UR 2 GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, ISTG!!!” A surprisingly powerful pair of arms wrapped around Manbagi. 

“Girl, that’s fine. I’d probably be suspended RN if I was in your place.” Yukari laughed, not at Manbagi, but at the situation. “Our beef would become an Itan legend.” She joined in the hug, and Muu-Tan soon followed. “That's totes normal.”

Rumiko’s mouth curved upwards as she leaned into the group embrace, eyes closing and body untensing, feeling the heavy weight that was being held inside for so, so long vanish into thin air.

“Thanks, Shakku.” She thought. “I owe you one.”

“That's, like, the tamest thing ever.” Kuroita giggled. “Totes normal. I once saw a LOINE post ab sm1 who took pride in kidnapping a guy after he talked to their crush. Ur p much a saint.”

“I… guess it is tame.” Manbagi admitted, moving a strand of hair off her face. “Even if anyone would seem normal compared to… that.”

“So why didn't u tell us?” Isu and Shiroki asked in sync.

“I was… really worried about how you'd react. What you’d think.”

“Aww, DW. We're friends 4ever.” Mutsumi assured, resting her head on Rumiko's shoulder as the words got accompanied by “mm-hm”s from the other girls. “Does any1 else know?” 

“Well, I did tell Shakku. He's actually part of the reason I'm back 2 school.” Rumiko explained. “Really helped me out. I didn't come to school for a few days, n he came to visit me, helped me out, and calmed me down when I got upset. Even ended up helping me organize my room after we talked and all that. It really helped me come to terms w/ it.” She started to feel embarrassed over the memory of how quickly she broke down in front of him. “Y-yeah.”

“I see…” Shiroki had a smug look on her face as she nodded.

“See… what?” Rumiko missed the implication. 

“Ah, nevermind. I'm rootin for ya.” She winked.

“H-hey! It's way too early for me to go into a relationship-” Rumiko shook her head.

“So ur not denying the idea… She might be cooked, girls.” A sly grin appeared on Yukapoyo’s face.

“HEY!” Rumiko’s brows furrowed. She did start to wonder why denial wasn’t the immediate response, but it must’ve been just that her mental state was overwhelming her as of recently and changing her priorities. Before Manbagi could vocally oppose the idea, the school bell rang. 

“Oh, it's already time?” She said.

“Oh, yeah. We forgot to ask. What class are u in?” 

“Class? Oh, I…” Manbagi paused, then opened her eyes as wide as she could, grabbed her bag and started sprinting.

“...I DIDN'T CHECK!”

“CIAO-SU~!” The trio yelled out to her in perfect synchronization as she waved and ran off to the main hall's announcement board.

“Late on the first day… I'll get a bad reputation on the first day again!” She thought, sprinting past several students on their way to class.

“Ah, good morning. Is that a new haircut-” Tadano, who was ““conveniently”” right next to the building’s entry, greeted and gently waved.

“NOT BECAUSE OF YOU, THX, BYE!” She bolted even faster past him, embarrassed.

“...Okay!” His hand awkwardly remained in its position next to his chest.

—

Peeking into the class, Manbagi noticed that her new teacher hadn't arrived yet and sighed in relief. After managing to get her breath in order and wiping the sweat off her forehead, she walked in with great anxiety in her heart. 

There were familiar faces as much as there were new ones; Isagi, Ase, Naruse, and Katai among them. But as Manbagi looked towards her seat (that was the only empty seat), one face she knew more than the others was right next to it. A calm presence she didn’t notice, sitting to her right.

「Rumiko?」 Kometani stared at her. He didn't know if it was her haircut, her putting extra effort for the first day of school, or just him coming to terms with his feelings, but she seemed prettier than usual. 

Chuushaku froze in place. It definitely wasn’t because of the haircut.

The moment he accepted his feelings, something changed. By agreeing with his feelings, by letting the dam his emotions were kept behind finally burst open and overflow, the boy would change forever.

The already existing affection grew, and his emotions turned wild and uncontrollable, making their conversations comforting and their eye contact seemingly impossible to maintain without embarrassment or a smile appearing on his face.

“Not good.” That was the only thought that Chuushaku could make (barring the ones about her). He could not   hide his reactions. It was only a matter of time until-

“Oh! Shakku! You’re sitting next to me! She smiled. 

“...Is it bad?” She asked, noticing his gaze and lack of response and twirling her blonde hair between with her fingers. 

As she pulled him out of his spiraling, Chuushaku shook his head in denial (and to pull himself together.)「Not at all. You could probably do any haircut justice.」

“Why did you say that?” 「Why did I say that?」 Kometani and his inner voice thought in sync.

Manbagi‘s mouth formed a smile without her noticing. “ Any? You think I can rock a Mohawk, Shakku?” She joked as she sat down.

「Try it and we'll see.」

“Pfft, as if. You won’t suffer the consequences if it's bad.” 

「How about a pompadour?」He offered. 

“No.”

「Bald?」 

“NO!” She laughed and playfully punched his shoulder.

Their banter continued, Kometani offering several hairstyles and Rumiko promptly denying them until the teacher walked in and kicked off the final year of their student lives. The year in which everything would change for the better.

The year in which…

Well, they'll have to find that out for themselves.

Chapter Text

Following an attendance check by their new teacher, class 3-4 began heading towards Itan High's entrance ceremony.

Nothing was out of the ordinary. New students arrived, the teachers gave speeches about how important it is to be educated and how to welcome the newcomers… just like the two years before. 

That is, until the final announcement. The announcement mentioned a new substitute principal's existence, and the fact that they would give a speech for the entire school.

「That's new.」 Kometani remarked, his quiet voice drowned out in the sea of confused chatter by the crowd.

“Huh?” Rumiko said in a manner oddly similar to a certain viral sound effect.

Bursting from behind the podium, a most unexpected sight (well, to everyone aside from the first-year students) became clear: Ichou Setoka, the former student council president, declaring her arrival.

Loud chatter immediately flooded the room as she greeted someone off-stage. 

“What’s she doing here???” “That lady again?” “Seto-kinda bad though…”  

“Aren't you people happy to have someone as vivacious as me as your principal?” She asked, looking confused and her tone sounded slightly upset. “It’ll be fine. ‘Snot like I'm gonna be that bad for the school.”

“How unprofessional…” “At least she's honest?” “Wife mater-” “Dude, shut up. We just got here. Don't try to hit on the principal.” 

“WTH are these people talking about…?” Rumiko thought as one first year tried to insist she's “only the vice principal”.

“All I'm going to do is put you in a killing game.” Setoka declared. Before any copyright violations regarding a different school-based killing game could come up in the student body's mind, she kept talking. “Well, not actual killing. I'm already on the law enforcement's radar.”

「That would explain why she came back to this school.」 Kometani thought. 

“Just a family-friendly little school-wide Battle Royale!”

As she started excitedly listing off the rules, people began asking when they could leave. 

“W-WAIT, WAIT!!” She yelled out into the microphone, causing its feedback to stop everyone in their tracks. “IF YOUR CLASS WINS, YOU GET THE FABLED CHICKEN CUTLET SANDWICH TICKET!”

Everyone's heads turned towards her. That one sentence changed everything. Since the 2nd year trip to New York (and some other faulty financial decisions made by the school), the cafeteria food has been suboptimal. Of course, you could always bring homemade food, but it wouldn’t compare to a chicken cutlet and the sweet, sweet bragging rights alongside it. 

The first year students clearly caught on as well. Despite being previously unaware of the cafeteria situation, they'd be damned if they would experience it first hand.

Ichou barely managed to finish off her explanation before everyone rushed through the doors to prepare. This was an all-out war, and people were aiming for that ticket like their lives were on the line.

—

“WHO ARE WE?” Makeru Yadano yelled at the top of her throat with the intonation of a drill sergeant.

“THREE-DASH-FOUR!” Her class yelled back in a similar rhythm.

“WHAT DO WE WANT?” She continued.

“THE CHICKEN CUTLET SANDWICH TICKET!” Her class answered.

“WHEN DO WE WANT IT?” She raised her fist towards the ceiling.

“NOW!” The legion cheered.

“GO, MY SOLDIERS! FIGHT UNTIL YOUR LAST BREATH! YOU HAVE TRAINED YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS SINGULAR MOMENT!!!!” Her face turned red from the effort she put into being as loud as physically possible. “UNLESS YOU WERE STATIONED HERE, IN WHICH CASE, THE FIRST PART DOESN’T APPLY TO YOU!!!!!!!”

As the groups split up and went out, the team that was given the job to protect the classroom was made up of Naruse Shisto, Ase Shibuki, Katai Makoto, Kometani Chuushaku, and Manbagi Rumiko.

“…Why?” The gyaru stated, looking solemnly at her pistol. “Why did it… have to come to this?”

「※Toy pistol」

Her shaking hands could not be stopped. The trembling… The idea she might have to aim her weapon at one of her friends sooner rather than later… 

Her anxious tone got the attention of her squadmates. They looked at her, worryingly, until-

“THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!” She yelled out in joy.

“Y-yeah!” Ase agreed, struck by the tonal whiplash.

「I agree.」 Kometani said. 「I was getting tired of the same ‘Rice, Fish, Vegetable’ meal.」

“You never told me that.” Naruse said, sounding confused and somewhat hurt. “I could always-”

「Is that so?.」 Kometani interrupted, sensing a speech incoming.

Did he accidentally manage to let himself open up just now? Or did the knowledge of a better option help him express himself?

“Focus on the mission.” Ase, who was given authority over the other four by Class Commander Yadano, ordered. “We need to win this, no matter the cost. Let’s go to our stations.” 

“Right.” Naruse obeyed.

As everyone split into the two sides of the hall, Manbagi and Kometani went towards the students who were building the barricade (a line of tables and some chairs) on their end. 

Chuushaku still couldn’t shake that feeling away as they approached their station. That bubbling warmth, the pull her face had for his eyes, the way the light reflected off her eyes and gave them a beautiful brown glow, the slight head tilt when she was confused-

Ah.

Kometani quickly looked away as he noticed their eyes meeting, flustering him immediately.

“You alright?” She asked, her voice as soft as it could be. 「Y-yeah.」

“Nervous?” Rumiko smiled a caring, tangy sweet smile while they stood in their assigned positions. 

「I assume.」 If not for how well he’d hidden it (until now), Kometani would assume she’s intentionally testing his limits. It did seem like something she’d do as a joke, until the reasoning for his behavior became clear and she'd…

What would she do if she found out?

“’s fine. I’m also stressed.” She raised her hand, decorated with tiger-themed nails, showing how it was quivering around her weapon. “You heard Yadano. Fight until our last breath, right? Can’t stay calm after hearing that.”

「Yeah.」 Taking the opportunity to hide the true cause, he continued. 「People are taking this game a bit too seriously.」

“Heh.” She chuckled. “I guess they do. Y’know…” She started walking towards him. A million thoughts began running through his head, each one more unrealistic than the one before it. She kept walking until they stood right next to each other, then started whispering so the people on the other end of the barricade couldn't hear. 

“You never used to give your opinions on stuff.” She jokingly said. “Not that it’s bad. I actually kinda like it.”

He immediately turned red from hearing her compliment enter his ears, accompanied by the air from her mouth hitting the side of his face. 

“Not in a weird way, I mean! J-just nice to see you open up more.” 

“Why did I need to clarify? That was obvious.” Manbagi questioned her instinctual reaction to his new, embarrassed expression in her mind.

「T-thanks.」

Just in time to save Kometani from having to continue the conversation while blushing profusely, the second year began their assault on the barricade’s construction team.

“THEY’RE TRYING TO CORNER US!” A voice yelled.

“Shoot. They’re here alr?” Rumiko grunted. “Get ready, Shakku!” 

「Already am.」 He quickly went behind a table that lay sideways, using it as a cover.

The sound of (toy) bullets being shot and flying through the air filled the hall. A massive fight was taking place between the assault corps of class 2-2 and the construction and defense teams of 3-4.

Kometani peeked above the table and began firing, managing to take out 3 second-year students.

“Nice shot!” Rumiko called out, her bullets flopping out due to loading them the wrong way in. “Damn, I think something’s wrong with my weapon.”

「Stay safe until this wave ends. I will try to fix it when there are fewer students around.」Ducking beneath a bullet, he panted. 「 There are so many of them…」

Final screams of the defeated, classmates heading home, students yelping as they got hit… Everything was going to hell in Itan High until the bullet storm had passed.

Quiet ruled the halls. Wind blew over the dormant bodies of the (pretending) students, waiting to be retrieved by their comrades. Empty weapons lay on the floor as the false quiet continued. Someone, or rather some thing, was lying hidden, lurking between the classrooms and the fallen. Something that was coming for the students of class 3-4.

—

“Is that all of them?” Onemine, who put her experience from similar fights with her siblings to use, asked.

Kometani nodded in return. Both sides of the barricade were cleared.

“Sorry I couldn't help much.” Rumiko apologized.

「Can you show me how you loaded your bullets?」 Kometani asked.

Rumiko nodded as she took the bullets from his hand. While she started loading them frontside back, Kometani sighed.

「So that's how it is.」 He reached for the weapon and took out the (fake) bullets, flipping them to the correct position.

“...Ah.” She seemed slightly embarrassed. “Thx. I've never played these before.”

「You're welcome.」

“So, I've been meaning to ask, you've been a lot more… ‘honest' lately? I dunno how to put it.”

「...」

“Why's that? Am I talking to an impostor Shakku RN?” She laughed.

Kometani took a deep breath. 

“It's because of you.”

“Huh?” Her eyes shot open. “WDYM?”

「※ WDYM stands for “What do you mean”.」

“...When I came to visit you, I had to be assuring.” Kometani explained. “Supporting. I would be regardless of your state, but I had to make it clear. So I tried to do my best.”

Rumiko looked into his eyes. She was surprised. She was shocked. She was… flattered, oddly enough. 

“F-FR…?” 

「Yes.」 Kometani failed to notice her embarrassed reddening as his focus drifted off due to their eye contact, causing his timidness to find its way back. 「I really worried about you. Still am. Partially. A-anyway, I'm very happy to see you improving, even if I don't show it.」 

It took every ounce of his strength to not instinctively say something he'd regret.

As Rumiko put her hand on her cheek while they both looked at each other, they both got lost in the moment, lost in each other's eyes, completely unmoving. That is, until Kometani suddenly lunged in front of her, and–

*Pang*

A shot hit his neck.

“SHAKKU!” An instinctual scream of terror came out of her throat as he fell to the floor. Someone had gone around the barricade.

She quickly faced the other end of the hall, taking out her weapon from his hand and starting to fire at the fleeing culprit. Her shots flew beyond the lying bodies of Naruse and Ase, who had seemingly fallen victim to the same person before Chuushaku was hit.

“SHAKKU!” She turned towards him and leaned forward, seeing his body lying on the floor and his hand on the place of impact.

「R…Rumiko…」 His faint voice uttered as he struggled to keep his face looking up at her while speaking. 「Stay safe… It's too… late for me...」

“B-BUT THE TICKE-”

「It doesn't matter anymore.」 He looked at his palms. 「These hands took so many chances at victory… and they won't even get to dine on that which they fought for. Is that not ironic?」

“WE CAN STILL SAVE YOU!” She yelled, causing the people on the other end of the barricade to peek over and get ready for imminent attack. “SOMEONE! HELP!”

Suddenly, he grabbed her shoulders, holding himself ever so slightly upwards using them. 

“Listen, Rumiko.” The change of tone got her to stay silent. 「It's over for me. But not for you.」

“W-what?” Her eyes widened as she started shaking him. “Wait, don't go! What do you mean?!”

His grip began softening as his arms began to drop.

“SHAK- CHUUSHAKU! WAIT!”

「Win… Rumiko.」 He fell backwards, landing on the floor with an echoing thud. 「Get… that… ticket…」 His body, at long last, sent limp as he let out a sigh of release.

“No… this isn't real… this isn't happening…” She covered her mouth. “If only I'd have paid attention… if only I-”

*pang*

Feeling a sponge bullet hit the side of her face, Rumiko turned around in confusion to see a disgusted Shiina.

“Get a room, weirdos.” She said, walking away from her classroom and going past them like nothing had happened. 

Chapter Text

Following their (rather embarrassing) deaths, the two students went to the “afterlife”. 

「※The afterlife stands for being dismissed and allowed to go home.」

“So who d’ya think is going to win?” Rumiko asked as the two went downstairs.

「I don't know. I have a feeling that it may not be our class, though.」

“Yeah, prob. I think sticking to the formation was what got us, since the backline was completely free to any invasion while everyone was at the barricade.”

「That's a rather astute observation.」 He said as they went out of the building.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. My dad used to watch military shows after work. It was his favorite.” She sighed. “I guess some of that stuck with me.” 

「Is that so.」

Manbagi then seemed to realize what she had said. “B-but enough about that.” Rumiko raised her eyebrow at a long-haired girl who was seemingly watching them. “I wonder if Makeru-san noticed that, or if she was a double agent.”

「I feel like the game impacted your way of thinking if you believe Makeru would harm her chance at victory. Then again, she is the type that wants to go at it alone.」 Kometani began genuinely considering her words as he put his fingers to his chin.

“Well, who knows. ATP it doesn't matter.”

「※At this point」

「I suppose so.」He shrugged off as they left the school area.

As they reached the gate, Kometani stood. He wanted to stay with her. He wanted to be with her for just a little bit longer.

「I guess that's that, then.」

“Yeah, I guess so.” She begrudgingly replied.

「See you tomorrow?」 He asked, his usual expression accompanied by a pair of gentle eyes.

Manbagi suddenly couldn't find the words to answer. Giving him a nod, she watched as he turned to the other direction and began walking home.

Her arms tensed up. Why did she feel bad all of a sudden?

Why did her heart ache?

“WAIT!” 

Kometani stopped in his tracks.

“...Huh…?” She mumbled. It felt like she just called out to him, but she didn't try to do so. Not intentionally, at least.

Even so, Rumiko didn't feel an ounce of regret. She wanted to be with him for longer, as well. 

Kometani turned around, filled with confusion and a slight sense of hope. 「Yes?」

“Do you…” Her fists clenched. Why was speaking so hard all of a sudden?

“DO YOU WANNA GO TO STRYEBUCKS?” She angrily yelled out.

「Oh, sure.」 Kometani knew that she's usually unreasonably angry when she's embarrassed, but not why was she feeling like that right now.

After all, what's there to be embarrassed of?

「I have enough on me, so I can come along.」 He said, thanking his past self for taking a wallet to school that morning. 

“Great!” She made a peace sign with her left hand and gave a toothy smile. “Let's go!”

Kometani hurried to her side, bringing the two an odd sense of relief.「I'll have to ask Naruse-kun how the game went later.」

“LMK as well.” 

「※Let me know」

「Alright. What are you going to get?」 

“Probably something flashy. I wanna get a good post for my LOINE page.”

「Be sure to pick something you'll enjoy as well.」

“I know, I know. It's just important to me that I start building my account RN.”

「Why?」

“I want to get into the makeup industry, and to do that I need to go to a place that teaches how to do it.” Rumiko explained. “So, if I have a lot of followers, I can use it to try and boost my chances of getting in one.”

「I see. So the more followers you have, the higher the chances that you get in a good university, or even get a scholarship offer.」

“Y'got it!” She smiled. “It took me, like, 5 hours to explain it to my mom.”

As she smiled, the clouds in the sky stopped covering the sun. The light shone on the two, reflecting the light from their eyes and giving it a certain glow which attracted their gaze before they both quickly looked away.

“What… the hell…?” Rumiko thought as the feeling of warmth made its way towards her cheeks.

A silent minute had passed before they arrived at the local Stryebucks.

“S-so what are you going to get?” Rumiko queried, her heart still beating loudly.

「The iced watermelon mix. It's been my favorite ever since I was a kid.」

“Aww, that's cute. I can imagine little Shakku all excited to get his favorite drink.” Manbagi tried to imagine him as a little kid with a squeaky voice asking for a ‘watermewon’, but ended up thinking of a small Chuushaku with the same tone as always. 

「Which drink did you want, Rumiko?」 Kometani asked from the cashier stand, seemingly having gone through the queue while she was thinking.

“Oh, uh, the Kiboiru Mix, please.”

Kometani looked at the cashier who nodded. “That'll be ¥1,200.”

As she walked over and reached for her bag, the cashier called for her. 

“No need to do that, ma'am. The gentleman over here paid for your order.” 

“HUH?!” She quickly turned around to Chuushaku, who was sipping on his lemonade. “Y???”

「Why not?」 He shrugged.

“I HAVE MY OWN MONEY!” She yelled out.

「I never said otherwise. I just wanted to treat you as a thanks for inviting me.」

Rumiko's face contorted to make a weird expression.

“…You can go sit now. There's people waiting, y'know.” The barista rolled their eyes.

「Ah, sorry. Come on, Ruumi, let's go sit over there.」 He gestured towards an empty table.

“R-right.” She quickly collected herself as she took the Kiboiru Mix and came along.

After she sat down and took a picture of their drinks, Rumiko couldn't hold back her curiosity. “So how were you as a kid?”

Kometani nearly choked on his drink. 「Why do you ask?」

“You said you liked this drink since you were a kid, but I'd never imagined the Shakku I know ever ordering this.”

「What would you imagine me ordering?」

“I dunno, probably a coffee or something.”

「A coffee? I was a kid.」

“I know, but—HEY, DON’T DODGE THE QUESTION!” She accused.

「Alright, alright. I used to be a… pretty energetic child. Loud.」 He recalled. 「Try to imagine Najimi if he was slightly less intense and not greedy. 」 

“FR?” She leaned forward, resting her head on her hands. “What was that like?”

「Probably annoying, if the feedback is to be believed.」

“Feedback?” The girl tilted her head. “WDYM?”

Kometani considered whether he should tell her or not. On one hand, he didn't want to get treated like some poor person who needs comforting. On the other, he did need to open up more if he wanted to change.

His logical way of thinking did its work, and he decided to tell her.

Taking a deep breath and gathering all the courage he could muster, Chuushaku began talking. “I used to be… bullied. Before I was at Itan.”

Manbagi went silent, fixing her posture as a sign of respect and attentiveness.

“I wasn't the most socially aware child. Didn't speak like everyone else. Spoke too much, apparently. …Annoyed people. I-” He shrunk in his seat.

Rumiko’s mouth gaped. “No way you'd ever annoy anyone!”

“H-huh?” His heart skipped a beat, taken aback at the sudden interruption. 

“I mean it! Even if you were like that now, I'd still- I'd still be your friend!” She declared, interrupting him and stopping a different, instinctual outcome of the sentence. “Who cares what some stupid kids said a while ago?”

His free hand turned into a fist on the table whilst his skin turned red. “...How can you know that? You didn’t know me back then.”

“Can you just chill, dude?”

“Stop trying to explain things. We don't need commentary for everything.”

“Can’t you just shut up sometimes?”

All that degrading. All of those lonely days at school. Would she be any different had she seen him unmasked? He had hidden his true self for so long that, in a sense, it had become his new self. 

Can the “unmasked” Chuushaku even come out anymore? Or has he been replaced long ago?

That was a question that often ended up appearing in his mind when he'd feel like he was playing a character rather than ‘being’.

“I just do.” She put down her cup and reached for his hand, cupping it between both of hers.

“Warm…” They both thought.

“I'd like to meet that Chuushaku one day.” Her voice turned soft as she looked into his eyes. “If you wouldn't mind, that is.”

“R-right.” He stammered as Rumiko started playing with his hand to calm him down, sliding both of hers over it and distracting him from all previous thought processes.

“R-Rumiko?” Growing warmer, Chuushaku didn't understand what was happening.

“You don't have to be so nervous with me.” Rumiko pouted and looked away, missing the boy’s intensifying reddening. Slowly, she straightened it up and began parting his fingers with hers, which was followed by interlocking them together.

Once again, Kometani’s greatest strength, his mouth, stopped working and took his mind down alongside it. He felt her warmth ooze into his hand and throughout his body, shining a bright light and removing all of the previously believed to be permanent darkness away.

“Your hand feels nice…” She mumbled, seemingly having zoned out as the sun shone over her. She began holding it with both of her hands, their warmth mixed, heating her body and ending the cold which ruled over it for months… 

A familiar feeling. 

“What is happening? What is happening? What????????” Chuushaku was staggered.

She put her thumb over the back of his hand, moving it in circles and tapping on it occasionally as she lightly squeezed it. Her other hand helped, cupping the other side and trapping his arm between both of hers.

“S-should I…?” He gulped.

Rumiko was lost in the moment. It was like something within her, something she had repressed and denied for a long time had suddenly been unlocked. Only after Kometani started hesitantly curling his fingers over her hand, red as a tomato, did she come to and realize what she's doing. 

“BAH-!” She suddenly yelled, startling the two of them and jumping backwards. The brief second of hand holding ended as Rumiko's mind crashed, trying to process what she had just done.

“S-sorry!” Kometani said, leaning back and trying to explain himself, though there was nothing to apologize for. The real issue had suddenly come to light in Rumiko's mind— or rather, her heart.

“Oh.” she whispered, putting her hands back under the table and squeezing each hand around the other in a switching pattern, instinctively and cluelessly mimicking the comforting touch to relax herself. “... Shit. ”

Chapter Text

No. No. No. No.

This cannot be happening. This is bad. This is horrible.

Manbagi Rumiko laid down in her bed, looking at the ceiling as she took in her harrowing situation. Not only did she like Tadano, her best friend's boyfriend, but now she just might have feelings for her male best friend as well.

“God, do you just fall for anyone who's nice to you, Rumiko?” She thought.

Lacking the energy to scream as hard as possible into her pillow, Rumiko sulked silently. She wanted to smash her head through a wall. 

“How do you get into a situation this hopeless twice???” 

Saying she's back at square one would be a blessing— this is more like square zero. Now she has to deal with her emotions towards Tadano and whatever she has going on with Shakku.

“...Is there really no way, though?” A faint hope played in her heart. “No, no! What am I saying? As long as I still have Tadano to deal with, I can’t do anything else! It wouldn’t be fair!”

“...” Rumiko realized she didn't deny the possibility of attraction this time. 

“Ugh!” Burying her face into the pillow, kicking the mattress in frustration, the girl had started to formulate a course of action.

Step one: Talk to the girls. Chuushaku taught her that keeping something to yourself (as much as she wanted to do this time, considering Yukari's reaction to the confession) doesn't help. If all goes well, it's just a bit of extra appreciation and not affection.

Plan B: Repress, repress, repress. Making the situation awkward with the person seated next to her after just going through it with Tadano and Shouko in 2-1 was enough of that for a lifetime.

For now, she'll have to cherish the memory of her daydream at Stryebucks. 

“His hand was so warm…” She lifted her face off of the pillow ever so slightly. “And his fingers were so slim… they're surprisingly gentle.”

Rumiko could still feel how they pressed against her hand and interlocked with it, making her bury her face even further into the pillow. Kicking her legs up and down, she groaned.

“Why do I have to be so stupid…?”

—

The following day, Rumiko immediately headed towards her group's usual meetup location when the bell rang.

As always, they were sitting on the bench under the big tree. The students walking around were as self-focused as ever, which was a good sign for the nervous wreck that Rumiko was at the moment.

The sun shone brightly on the schoolyard, a gentle wind was blowing, signaling the imminent spring… All was well in Itan High. Well, aside from the group that still didn't accept Tadano and Komi-San's relationship following them around everywhere as a horde. 

Waving to her friends and making her way past Komi's cult, Rumiko spotted her friends and started sprinting towards them.

Hearing the rapid footsteps, Muu-Tan turned around. “Oh, Rumikocchi! How've U—”

“HEEEYYY, GIRLIES!” A seemingly distressed Rumiko called out, the weight of a day filled with overthinking clearly taking a toll on her as she slowed down, eye twitching. “HOW WOULD Y’ALL REACT IF I SAID SM RLY EMBARRASSING RN?” She laughed.

“...Girl, slow down. I can't get anything you're saying.” Gonzales said in a calm manner born out of confusion.

“Oh, but I get it. I got it long ago.” Yukari let out a mischievous smile and the best evil laugh she could. “Didn't I, my dear Manbagi?”

The two other gyarus looked at her, then at Manbagi who reddened and nodded after a moment of silence. 

“Ooooooooo!” The three friends exclaimed.

“Girl, surely ur not saying what I think ur saying, rite?!” Muu-Tan asked.

“AIN'T NO WAYYYYY!” Gonzales yelled.

“Q-Quiet down! Someone might hear!” Manbagi requested. 

Yukari gave a smug smile. “So… Was I right, or was I right?”

“Shut up…” She buried her face in her hands. “Just because you were right doesn't mean you have to torture me over it…” 

“Alr, alr. Settle down, y’all.” Mutsumi requested. “So, what's the holdup?”

“Eh?” 

“C'mon, he clearly has eyes for U.”

“2 much of them, rly. I'd slap’em if I were you.” Yukari added, high fiving Mutsumi as she did.

“WOAH WOAH WOAH, HOLD ON!” Rumiko shook her head. “YOU GOTTA BE DELUSIONAL IF YOU THINK K-”

“Shhhh! Did you forget how quickly the Tadano bit spread because you weren't quiet?” 

“Right, right.” The girl nodded and coughed while Yukari gave deadly glares to anyone eavesdropping. “WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!” She whispered.

“Girl, look at urself. He'd be dumb not to.” The husky voice of her friend stated.

“That's your proof?” Rumiko began calming down.

“No. He constantly stares at you, is nervous around you, and don't get me started on that whole home visit thing. We didn't think of checking up on you that early. Sorry about that, BTW.” Yukapoyo listed.

After Rumiko waved her hands to assure her it was fine, Mutsumi's turn arrived. “And wherever you two snuck off yesterday after the game. What was that ab?”

The 3 girls turned to her immediately. “Where'd you hear that from?” They asked Mutsumi in sync, Manbagi seeming more nervous than the rest.

“Let's just say a little bird whispered in my ear...” She put her fingers next to her eyes.

「※She constantly checks Emoyama's Tumblurt account for gossip.」

“...And that birdie told me all about u 2.” She aimed her fingers back at Rumiko, signaling that she's watching her.

“E-even that?” Manbagi meekly asked.

Mutsumi's brows furrowed as she tilted her head slightly towards the left. “WDYM that?”

Manbagi sucked in her lips and closed her eyes. She just made a grave mistake. 

“Oi, what's ‘that’?” Gonzales asked.

“Yeah, what the hell did you two do?” Yukari joined in on the investigation. “Don't tell me you did THAT!?”

“NONO!” Rumiko turned red at the thought and waved her hands in denial. “NOT THAT, I MEANT THAT! WERE JS BUDS, HE AIN'T M.B. AND I’M NOT H.G.!!” 

「※I have no clue」

“...And in english?” For the first time in her life, Yukari couldn't understand the slang Manbagi chose.

“Well… I sort of… maybe… uh…” She played with her fingers. “He was so sad… and…” 

“JUST SPIT IT OUT!” Gonzalo commanded.

“I… held his hand…” Rumiko buried her face in her hands. “And played with it for a while…” She mumbled, forcing out every word.

“Didn't take you for a perv. What, did you lock your fingers as well?” Mutsumi joked.

Rumiko squealed and nodded.

“No…” Yukari gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. “Oh, you are COOKED.”

“Plz, plz, plz, tell me thats all. There's at least some deniability to be had.” Mutsumi practically begged.

The wind blew. Leaves scattered in the wind. Students walked past, talking and laughing. Time kept marching on.

And Rumiko kept the girls waiting. Which, in term, let them assume the (correct) answer by themselves.

“O.M.G.” The girls squealed.

“There's no way he doesn't realize you like him, rite? That's basically a confession.”

“T-that's why I came here, actually. I'm not su—”

“Rumiko, I swear to whatever deity is watching us, if you’re about to pull the ‘I’m nOt sUrE I liKe HiM’ bit, I'm getting the Komi freaks to publicly execute you.”

Rumiko went back to silence. Perhaps the (rather intense) assertiveness was necessary in this case, as she quickly realized that it was a dumb question.

She liked him.

She liked Kometani Chuushaku. 

It felt oddly relieving to admit this.

“So, what about Tadano?” Gonzalo asked, her voice oddly calm and comforting. No explanation was needed— you can't get into a relationship if you still have feelings for someone else.

What would she do?

Suddenly, the school bell began ringing.

“Aw, just when it started heating up…” Mutsumi sighed.

“We'll have to continue this another time. Y'know, if he's like you, he might not have figured it out.” Yukari said. “Though that'd be depressing.”

“C'mon, be FR. There's no way he didn't figure it out.” Manbagi said, hoping for an easier, shorter conclusion to the situation than the alternative.

“...right?”

Chapter Text

As the boy walked home, he could only wonder about the obvious. Did Rumiko like him? And if she did, is it really him she likes?

“It's too soon.” he thought. “She can't possibly like me. The situation with Tadano wasn't long ago. She must have just… started thinking about him.”

Kometani held his hand, looking down at it.

“No, that's stupid.” He clenched it into a fist. “Get real, Chuushaku. That's too absurd.”

A cold, afternoon wind blew. The leaf piles, made by the beginning of the new season, were rustling alongside it as Kometani put on his coat. The sky was beginning to turn orange as the sun began setting, a sign of how late it had gotten.

“Even so… When she did that, was it an act of affection? Or an act of friendship?” 

For the first time in his life, Kometani couldn't know for certain what Rumiko had meant. The only person he could talk to about this (without giving an entire explanation regarding the situation, what led up to it, his struggles with himself— which was a whole other issue—) was…

Rumiko.

It was the way to go. He needed to talk to Rumiko. He needed to know what it was. There wasn't any other way.

“Thats insane. Just approach her and ask ‘hey, do you like me?’ Seriously?” Kometani’s inner voice insisted. “Can’t you just look it up online? Talk to Naruse? Or Tadano? Or literally anyone that has any previous history with these issues?

「Well, I don't think they'd really understand the situation and everything that led up to it.」

“Okay, even so, who does that?”

「It's not like I have a better option.」

“There's most *definitely* a better option that you just can't think of yet. Keep trying. Maybe anything else?”

「There isn't. I thought of several options, and none of them would lead me to a definitive result.」

“Again, please, can’t you go and ask someone how you should do this? Literally anyone?”

「I feel as if I have to come up with the way I do this— no, to handle the situation— by myself.」

“Why is that?”

「If I want to tear down these walls that I hid behind for so long, I need to break them by myself. If I need to know something, I'll ask. If I want to say something, I will. No more shying away.」

“That's great, but you really need to consider the fallback it may have. This is a very serious matter.”

「...」

The consequences were not in his consideration until now. Would Rumiko deduce his feelings if he'd ask that? Would her view of him as a good friend be harmed, considering she might start assuming he only acted the way he did so they could become closer?

Despite all of those risks, his will, his determination, remained unwavering. 

Being true to yourself is something that needs to be done regardless of how you're viewed.

If his friendship with Rumiko would sustain damage, as much as he doesn't want it to, it's a risk he must take. When Kometani came to that decision, a unique resolve started flowing through him— one that he had never known before.

For the first time in God knows how long, Kometani finally felt as if he wasn't wearing a mask on his face. No longer playing his role of a socially acceptable, neutral friend. His heartbeat accelerated and his mouth curved upwards. Kometani’s eyes widened, filling with life.

「Screw it.」His determination burned bright beneath the darkening dusk above.「I'm gonna do it.」

「I won't ask her about that. I'll just tell her.」

“Tell her?! Surely, you don’t mean—”

“I'm going to confess to Rumiko.” Kometani declared in his mind. “No more waiting. No more thinking. I'm going to do it, and there is nothing that is going to change my mind.”

“That's an insane jump. You have lost it. You have absolutely lost it.”

“Maybe so. But, is taking a leap of faith with another person not the only way to move forward? …The only way for me and Rumiko to…?”

“...” His inner voice lacked an argument for that one. 

They both knew Kometani’s approach was risky, but it was the only one that would yield a definitive result, one beyond speculations.

Defeated, the voice asked a final question— regarding the one subject that wasn't addressed yet.

“What about the Tadano issue?”

“I guess I… I don't know.” Kometani shrugged. “It has been a few months since. But all I can do is hope she's mostly past it.”

“You do realize if she still likes him, you're doomed to failure?”

Kometani knew that better than anyone else. This issue, the most critical factor, was beyond his control. A fact which caused his heart to ache and jealousy to bubble up within him. 

Rumiko might like someone else. 

“I guess… there's nothing I can do.”

“Well, t-”

“But that still won't stop me. I'm… I'm going to tell her. No matter what. Even if I get hurt. Even if… we won't end up together.” He clenched his fist.

“I see.”

“I… I never felt like this before. Like someone truly understands me. When I see her at school, it's like my eyes always find her by themselves somehow. Whenever we talk, it's as if there's an actual, emotional connection between us, and it's the best I've ever felt. I see her for a second, and I think of her for hours. I didn’t know that feeling like this was possible before. And I don't want it to ever stop.”

“...”

“So that's why… I can't give up on this. Or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.”

“...Well, when will you do it?” Kometani's inner voice asked, realizing that he had already made his decision.

“This Monday.” He answered, looking up at the sky.  

“That's, like, three days from now...”

“...I still need to prepare myself, you know.”