Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

James
5 years ago

It’s almost that time of the night, ladies and gentlemen. Find that special someone and bring them out to the dance floor for a slow dance, because we know they taught you how in your PE classes. And yes, boys, the exits are blocked. Nice try.

James stands up straighter and immediately looks around the crowded school gym in search of his favourite color. He locates the brilliant scarlet red of Lily Evans’ hair and begins to make his way toward her. His pace quickens when he glimpses Severus Snape through the throng of bodies, undoubtedly charging in the same direction. Kids rush in front of him in a race to find their partners and James briefly loses sight of Lily in the crowd. His heart is pounding erratically in his chest when he nearly runs into her.

”Ow.” She jumps back quickly, wincing at her stepped on toes. “Jeez, Potter.”

“Sorry,” he gushes, blushing in embarrassment. “Lily, would you like to—“

Snape appears in front of him, his pale skin flushed from their contest to reach Lily’s side.

”Back off, Potter. She doesn’t want to dance with you.”

“I don’t want to dance with either of you.” Both boys' heads swivel to face Lily, instantly and equally panicked and heartbroken. They are too shocked to do anything but watch as Lily strolls over to the side of the room where Peter stands, obliviously sipping a glass of punch. Lily clasps her hands behind her back and self consciously waits until Peter notices her. She is the most beautiful and stubborn girl James has ever met. At least Snape won’t get to dance with her either.

”Peter, will you dance with me?” Peter glances over Lily’s shoulder at James and Snape. He seems a bit frightened, but James knows Peter is a smart man. He’s more afraid of Lily Evans.

”Absolutely.” Peter searches for a surface to put his punch on and Snape scowls once more at James before storming away. James steps away quietly, willing to admit he has lost. His issue becomes more prominent when the first slow ballad begins to play and he is standing alone in a room of paired-off teens. Lucky Peter.

James glances around, hoping to spot any of his female friends standing alone. No such luck: Mary is being confidently held in the arms of one Sirius Black. Close by stand Remus and Marlene, swaying much more awkwardly and both staring wistfully at Mary and Sirius. No problem. James will have to find a girl outside of his immediate circle of friends.

That’s when James spots her: a beautiful girl in his grade, standing alone in a shimmery black dress. He’s seen her at his football games even, so she’s not a complete stranger. He knows her name is Dorcas Meadowes, but he’ll go introduce himself anyway.

By the time he’s reached her, Barty Crouch has already taken her hand, leaving James to avoid both their eyes and fail to look casual after charging across the gym for no reason. His eyes catch on a trio of students standing against the wall: a boy and a girl, both blonde, and a raven-haired girl in a green silk dress. James watches as the dark-haired girl waves her friends forward, no doubt issuing an assurance that she’s perfectly fine being left out.

The pair depart for the dance floor after an apologetic glance back. The girl in the green dress waits until they’re out of sight to let her reassuring smile drop into a scowl. James has never seen someone so pretty and angry at the same time.

“Hi.” He sidles up next to her against the wall, hoping he looks effortlessly cool and casual. She pulls away from him quickly before turning her scowl into a glare.

“Piss off.” James will admit that response caught him off guard. He tries for a friendly, unthreatening smile.

”I swear I’m not here to try anything. I just noticed we both ended up without a partner, so I thought I would introduce myself—“

”I already know who you are, James Potter.” He blinked.

“Then I guess I’m just lucky enough to get to meet you.” She scans his face, searching for a hint of sarcasm that isn’t there. She leans back into the wall, hands clenched tightly in the skirt of her emerald green dress. Lily has green eyes, but this mystery girl’s are grey. They’re just as beautiful, though.

“You really are just as nice as they say you are.” She sounds less than pleased, but he’ll consider it a compliment.

”Why wouldn’t I be?” She looks up at him, meeting his eyes fully for the first time. The effect is undeniably and devastatingly beautiful. He can’t believe this is the first time he’s noticed her.

She looks away first and James is completely caught off guard when she grabs his wrist and pulls him toward the centre of the gym.

“Fine. I’ll dance with you.” James grins widely and she gives him an irritated look. He tries to grin less obnoxiously. She places her hand delicately on his shoulder, and after a moment of hesitation, he takes her other hand in his. Her fingers are cold, and very pale against his brown skin. He hears her sharp exhale when he places his hand on her waist. He smiles brighter when she finally looks up at him.

“Do I get to know your name?” He knows they’ve moved closer together because he can feel her hair brush his shoulder.

“No,” she whispers, fear in her voice. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

”That’s okay.” His hand is on the small of her back now. His voice is softer than it needs to be.
“Whenever you’re ready, you can find me and let me know.” She pulls away slowly and James can see a tear tracing her cheek. He’d like to brush it away. He’d love to hold her some more, but the song has already finished.

She smiles softly, withdrawing her hands to her sides.

“Thank you for the dance, James.” He can hardly breathe over his heart in his throat.

“It was my pleasure.” The barest ghost of a smile appears on her face and it could tear his heart from his chest.

”JAMES!” He jolts at Sirius’ voice and when he glances back she’s gone. He’s about to go search for her when his best friend grabs his shoulders sharply and spins him around, pure outrage written on his face. “What was that?!”

“Am I not allowed to dance?” he asks stupidly.
Sirius’ expression verges on murderous. Remus and Peter exchange a nervous glance in the background.

“You are allowed to dance, James,” Sirius says slowly. “Just. Not. With. Her.” James glances at the others, who plead with their eyes for him to drop the issue immediately. James embraces those red flags like a matador.

“Do you have a crush on her or something?” Sirius’ expression goes very still and James sees his life flash before his eyes. He should have predicted he would die at age 15 at the hands of a slight, dark-haired boy with impeccable eyeliner.

“She’s my sister, James.”

”Oh.” James blinks and does not think before opening his mouth immediately. “So that’s how you keep the good looks in the family.” The next moment, James is pinned to the floor as his best friend attempts to strangle him.

”Any last words, Potter?!”

”Think long and hard before killing me, Sirius! You’ll get split ends if you go to prison!”

Sirius allows himself to be hauled to his feet by Remus and Peter. James cowers on the floor, just in case. Sirius glares down at him.

”If you ever so much as mention my sister again, I will gladly sacrifice my hair care regime to attain my vengeance.”

“Noted.” Sirius extends a hand and helps James to his feet. Remus still appears terrified, but Peter seems amused.

“How did you not know you were making eyes at Sirius’ little sister? If it weren’t for the dress I could hardly tell them apart.”

“Back that up, Pete. You’d think I was my sister if you saw me in a dress?” Peter just shrugs at Sirius.

”Probably. Might ask you out before I realized.” Sirius grins, turning to face Remus, who appears to be frozen in place.

”What about you, Moons?” James sees Remus’ breath catch as Sirius steps into his space. The shorter boy leans in, positively smirking at the blush spreading across Remus’ face. James is surprised that when Sirius speaks, it’s with a sharp note of melancholy. “I bet if I was a girl, I’d be the prettiest one you’ve ever seen.” Remus looks down at Sirius in apparent disbelief.

”You are prettier than anyone I’ve ever seen.” All three of their jaws drop, but Remus’ eyes never waver from Sirius’s face. He leans forward slightly and time seems to waver. Sirius’ lips part with a breath. “No homo,” Remus blurts quickly. James sees absolute panic flare through his best friend’s eyes.

“OH, LOOK, THE GIRLS ARE CALLING ME AND THE DJ IS FINALLY PLAYING BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, IT’S MY TIME TO SHINE, BYE MOONY.” Sirius disappears into the crowd and Remus buries his face in his hands with a groan. James slings an arm casually around his shoulders and leans in conspiratorially.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but last week Sirius told me he would forfeit all his worldly possessions to have you pin him against a wall. For both of your sakes, please make a move.” Remus looks up with the most panic-stricken expression James has ever seen.

”I thought he was straight?” Remus whispers, his eyes wide with shock. Peter stares at Remus with utter disappointment in his eyes.

“You are officially the stupidest person I know, Lupin. James, you’ve lost the title.”

”Hey!—“ The three of them glance up as the first enthusiastic calls of ‘scaramouche’ echo from across the room, where Sirius and the girls are clearly giving a hell of a performance of Bohemian Rhapsody. Lily is trying to get Sirius off the refreshments table via a pantomimed argument because neither of them will stop singing the lyrics. James smiles at the blinding look of love on Remus' face.

“You’re sure he likes me?” he asks softly. Peter rolls his eyes hard.

“Lead him off to a dark corner and find out for yourself, Lupin.”

“I— Maybe I will.” Remus steps forward before glancing back at them with a small smile. “Thanks.”

”Compliment him lots,” James orders.

“Please just shut him up for a few hours.” Remus blushes profusely and nods once before disappearing in search of Sirius Black. A beat of silence rings in his absence.

”So, your best friend’s little sister…

”No, because I value my life.” Peter laughs and punches his shoulder.

”I still can’t believe Lily Evans chose me over you.”

”Oh, shut up.” Remus and Sirius have conspicuously disappeared by the time James and Peter reunite with the girls. Peter, Marlene, and Mary immediately begin taking bets on what the missing boys are up to. James refrains from betting but privately dares to hope his friends are having the time of their lives. He catches Lily looking at him with a smile.

”What?” he asks, leaning down to hear her over the music.

“Nothing.” She shakes her head slightly, the same private grin on her lips. “You’re a class act, James Potter.” He smiles in return, bumping her shoulder gently as he steps out of her personal space.

“Thanks, Evans.” As he leans against the wall in an overflowing gymnasium, talking to his closest friends minus two, he thinks there’s no place he’d rather be. James has always had a talent for positive thinking, but if he were asked how this moment could be better, he’d like to include a certain grey-eyed stranger to the circle of people he loves. He’d like to see that subtle, startlingly beautiful smile again. He’d like to finally learn their name.

Chapter Text

Regulus

Present Day

Regulus was having a shitty day even before his ex-boyfriend broke into his apartment. 

It’s obvious that’s who's singing terribly in his kitchen, because the one person who happens to have a key is also the one person who won’t leave him the fuck alone. Regulus stops in the hallway and pulls out his phone, already plotting a murder.

Snakes and Adders

Regulus: anyone free to bury a body later

Dorcas: I’m free right now if you’d like help poisoning/stabbing/whatever you had in mind?

Barty: Is it someone we hate or someone who mildly inconvenienced you

Barty: either way I’m down 

Regulus: take a guess

Regulus: you all liked him until a week and a half ago

Dorcas: …

Dorcas: if it’s He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named we always hated him Reg 

Regulus: ?

Regulus: you told me you liked him after I brought him to game night?

Barty: that was before he treated you like shit

Pandora: and we were lying

Regulus: Evan?? You ate the entirety of the seven-layer dip he brought

Evan: the dip was to die for but the man is a giant asshole

Evan: he’s definitely not worth it Reg

Barty: we should’ve known he was garbage from the beginning, his name is fucking Gilderoy Lockhart

Pandora: Bartemius Crouch Jr.

Barty: …

Dorcas: holy shit 

Barty: you have eight seconds to run

Evan: RIP Pandora your roasts were very accurate 

Regulus puts his phone in his back pocket and tries for a stabilizing breath. There’s no use denying the inevitable.

He steps into his kitchen and feels Gilderoy’s eyes fix immediately on his back. He stubbornly pretends his ex-boyfriend isn’t there as he crosses the room to place his laptop on the table. His entire apartment smells like whatever delicious meal Lockhart is currently cooking in his tiny kitchen. Regulus hates him.

“I’m changing the lock tonight, so take the rest of your stuff or you’re never getting it back.” He makes the mistake of looking up and is met by sea blue eyes and sweeping blonde hair. After everything he’s done, it’s not fair that Regulus still finds him attractive.

“Can we talk?” Lockhart asks softly, a hopeful smile pasted on his stupidly pretty face.

“No. I don’t want to talk to you and I never will.”

“I’m not trying to convince you to take me back, Regulus—“

“Really? What’s the chicken florentine for then?” Lockhart glances back at the stove, and pointedly ignores Regulus to reach over and adjust the temperature. When he turns back, he has the absolute nerve to roll his eyes.

“There’s nothing in the fridge and we both know you can’t cook worth a damn.” His tone is conversational, laced with subtle concern. Regulus used to gush to his friends about how attentive his boyfriend was. Karma always did hate him. Blue eyes soften with worry they don’t deserve to hold. “When was the last time you ate, darling?” 

Regulus hears his hand slam against the table. Huh. He’d been wondering when all the anger he’d buried would finally boil over.

“Don’t call me that,” he snaps, his tone dangerous. His hands white-knuckle the back of a kitchen chair. “What I do is none of your fucking business.”

The blonde watching him is stubbornly undeterred. 

“We lived together for six months, Regulus. Am I supposed to just stop caring—“

“Yes!” Regulus forces himself to breathe in a desperate bid to regain control . He doesn’t want to feel angry. Empty is easier, at least in the short term. When he speaks, his voice is carefully measured. “You don’t get to care. I’m not your problem anymore.” He glances up and this time he glares into those soft, pitying eyes. Regulus doesn’t know much anymore, but he knows he won’t survive if it happens again. He’s come too far to drown. 

So now he’s cutting the line.

“I’ll never forgive you, Gil, so you might as well go cook for the guy you were fucking behind my back.” He turns away from a finally speechless Lockhart and steps further into the apartment, his mind made up. He ducks into the bathroom and breathes a silent sigh of relief.  “Gil?” His voice is quiet but he knows that he can hear him. Regulus can’t make himself regret what he says next. “If you’re here when I open this door, you’ll never cheat on anyone again.” 

A note of fearful understanding rings before Regulus slams the door and slumps against the sink, instantly fractured and fighting tears. Pandora once told Regulus he looks pretty when he cries, but he hates the pathetic appearance of the boy he sees in the mirror. Men have only ever caused him pain, and Regulus is no exception.

He fishes his phone out his pocket with shaking hands.

Snakes and Adders

Regulus: does anyone know how to replace the lock on an apartment

Evan: I think you need a screwdriver?

Pandora: what’s a screwdriver

Dorcas: oh my god you’re all hopeless

Dorcas: I’ll pick up a new lock and be there in 20 minutes Reg

Dorcas: r u okay?

Regulus:

Regulus: no

Pandora: I get off work at 6 but say the word and I will start a fire and be there instantly 

Evan: hold on a sec Barty’s at home. calling him now

Barty: omw. be there in 5 Reg

Barty: if I see your dipshit ex rn I will not stop myself from kicking his worthless ass

Regulus:

Regulus: good

Dorcas: we love you Reg. 

Dorcas: I’ll bring a shovel just in case

Chapter Text

James

James steps into the room and unceremoniously knees the man lying in bed. 

“Move over, I need to wake up the love of my life.” Remus groans and rolls over, burying his face in his pillow.

“He’s the love of my life, Potter. Get your own.”

“Nope, he was mine first. Now move it or lose it.” Remus mutters a string of obscenities before swinging his pajama-clad legs out of bed. Bleary brown eyes fix on James’ with an intense air of hatred. 

“It’s way too early for your weird codependent relationship with my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend has class in 20 minutes, so unless you’d like to wake him up…” Remus stands and stumbles past James, flipping him the bird over his shoulder. James immediately banishes the image of Remus’ abs from his mind out of loyalty to his best friend. Sirius always sleeps like the dead, so James climbs into bed next to him and cards his fingers gently through the black hair splayed across his pillow. “Time to wake up, sweetheart.”

Sirius actually growls at him. James ignores the threat.

“It’s not my fault you booked a 9 am class, Pads.” Sirius buries his face in his hands, like he can make both James and the sun disappear by sheer force of will. 

“It is your fault I barely slept,” he mumbles darkly. James immediately freezes midway through stroking Sirius’ hair. 

“I’m not Remus, but thank you for that startling mental image, love.” Sirius shoots up in bed, grey eyes wild until he glimpses James. He collapses with a groan and throws himself back under the covers. James vacates the bed, grinning. “Hope last night was fun, cause you have music theory in 15 minutes. See you later, sweetheart.”

James steps into the hall with a bounce in his step, scooping his backpack off the floor. He can hear Peter snoring from his bedroom, and the shower running in the bathroom. James steps silently back to Sirius’ room, glimpsing his still form under the blankets. James flicks the bedroom light on and flees the apartment before Sirius can retaliate. 

He takes the stairs to the ground floor ant a jog and doesn’t slow down until his sneakers hit the sidewalk. His first class of the day is History and Literature of the South Asian Diaspora, and it’s in the same arts building Sirius will no doubt be late to. Their apartment is practically on campus, but it’s still not close enough to compensate for Sirius Black. 

As he crosses the quad, James waves to a couple of girls his age, who wave back and blush behind their iced coffees. James is grinning winningly over his shoulder when he trips over someone’s leg and sends them both sprawling to the ground. 

He hurries to catch himself, hands propped up on either side of the boy looking up at him in abject horror, his pink lips slightly parted. James forces his gaze up and… God. If those aren’t the prettiest grey eyes he’s ever seen, narrowing slightly as he notices the blush spreading across James’ face. 

“I—“ He pushes away the sudden urge to brush his thumb over those sharp, pale cheekbones. He forces his voice lower. “Are you okay?”

Grey eyes meet his, impossibly gentle for a single second. James watches as those perfect lips part.

“Get the fuck off me,” snaps the most beautiful guy James has ever had the pleasure of falling on top of.

Regulus

“I’m so sorry!” James Potter gushes as he scrambles to his feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and— here.” Before Regulus can protest, James has taken his hands gently and pulled him effortlessly to his feet. James’ expression visibly stalls as his eyes drink in his appearance, stubbornly undeterred by Regulus’ murderous glare. 

Regulus has not seen James Potter in 5 years, but he’s not surprised that Sirius’ best friend grew up unfairly handsome. James always had it all: popularity, athleticism, good looks, a personality that could charm a pit of vipers, and most importantly to Regulus: his brother’s undying love and loyalty. Yes, Regulus Black knows James, and he knows he doesn’t recognize him at all. To be fair, it’s been a while. That, and the last time they met, Regulus was wearing a dress. 

Well, Regulus won’t have to deal with any of that if he never sees James Potter again. He rips his hands from the other man’s grasp. 

“Do me a favour and leave me alone.” Regulus steps away and begins to gather his scattered notes, hoping that will be the end of it. To his immense chagrin, James drops to his knees and scrambles to help him. 

“Here.” Regulus instinctively pulls back when James lunges forward, offering a crumpled handful of overflowing pages. James takes his hesitation as an invitation for some reason. “I really am sorry. I’ll make it up to you if you’d like: I’ll carry your books or take you out for coffee, or hopefully both…” James trails off, meeting his eye with a flirty smirk. Yep, karma has it out for Regulus. The guy he desperately wants to avoid is trying to pick him up.

Regulus snatches the papers from his hand with a harsh scowl. 

“That would be unlikely, because if it were up to me, I’d never see you again.” Regulus avoids registering the vast disappointment on James’ face and instead staggers to his feet, holding his books tight against his chest. “I’d say it’s been a pleasure but that would be a lie.” He keeps his chin high and forces himself to take confident strides away, despite his bruised dignity and elbows. He’s reached the walkway to the Mathematics and Statistics building when he hears an ungodly patter of footsteps behind him.

He whirls around, making James jump back, chocolate-brown eyes wide with fear.

“Why the hell are you following me?”

“I just— this looked important.” James anxiously hands Regulus a formula sheet. He glances down at it curiously, and Regulus can tell he has no clue what any of it is used for. “Are you in engineering?” he asks softly.

“Finance.” Regulus places the paper face down on his textbook and spins on his heel, leaving James Potter to stand listlessly in the courtyard as the warning bell rings. Regulus slides into his seat feeling quite triumphant about it all, until his attention is called to the scrawling blue ink on the back of his formula sheet. It reads:

Hi, I am so sorry for knocking you over, seriously, but I think you’re absolutely beautiful. I’m sorry for messing everything up like this, but if you ever change your mind and if you like guys, I’d love to take you out for lunch or drinks. I’m James by the way, sorry, I should have said that first, and also if you aren’t into guys I’d still love to hang out sometime because you seem super cool and I love making friends! Anyway, I hope your day gets much better from here, and I selfishly hope you’ll give me a chance to try this all again and get it right this time. You’re just— you’re lovely and I’d love to get to know you. Here’s my number! -James

Regulus does not like the way that terribly penned note makes him feel. It’s just his luck that it’s written on the back of the one paper he needs for the rest of the unit. He has the sinking feeling that James Potter will prove equally impossible to get rid of.

Chapter Text

James steps into the entryway and violently kicks off his shoes.

“Sirius!” He bolts down the hall.

“Living room, Prongs!” James barrels into the cramped living room to see Peter and Marlene starting their weekend homework, and Sirius and Mary painting each other’s nails. James throws himself onto the floor next to Sirius.

“Pads, you’re not going to believe it, I’ve been losing my mind all day, hi Mary and Marlene.”

“One of these days,” Peter mumbles under his breath. Sirius pauses from doing Mary’s pink glittery nails to glance at James, grey eyes glinting with interest.

“What am I not believing?”

“Pads, is it normal to meet someone and think they’re the one?” James blurts. Sirius’ eyes widen and he forces himself to backtrack. “I mean, I met someone this morning and I just felt really strongly that they could be it. Like my forever person. Which is absolutely crazy now that I say it out loud.” Mary meets his eyes incredulously.

“It is crazy, Potter. Who are we even talking about?” James sighs wistfully, his chin propped up in his hand.

“Only the world’s cutest finance major,” he says.

Peter doesn’t look up from his textbook.
“Cool. Is she nice?”

“Not even a little bit.” James turns to Sirius, smiling stupidly. “I think he’s the meanest person I’ve ever met.” They all jump at the clang of a plate hitting the floor, nacho chips flying across the living room. The plate luckily remains intact.

“Sorry,” says Remus, staring at James. A beat follows in which his expression seems to cycle through the entire spectrum of human emotion. “I thought you were straight,” he informs James. Marlene gives Remus a look of overwhelming disappointment.

“For a bi person, your gaydar is absolute shit.” Sirius nods knowingly before picking up a chip and popping it in his mouth.

James looks up to see Lily step out of the kitchen behind Remus, a broom in hand. She raises an eyebrow at Sirius’ handful of chips.

“Are you actually still going to eat those?” He grins widely.

“Yep. McKinnon will help me.” Marlene shrugs and obediently picks up a chip of her own.

“Why not? I’m not too good for floor food.” Mary looks absolutely horrified. Lily sets the broom aside and crosses the room, sinking into the sofa behind James. She twirls a lock of scarlet hair, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“So, James, tell us more about the world’s cutest finance major.” He rolls his eyes as she laughs.

“Eavesdropper.” James looks to Sirius, waiting for his attention. Instead, he ends up listening skeptically as Sirius informs his boyfriend that dropping the nachos on the floor was a good thing, because now he doesn’t have to share. Remus looks like he wants to protest, but Peter gives him a ‘not worth it’ look, so he drops the issue and settles on the couch with a novel for one of his classes. James promptly gives up on the guys and turns back to Lily.

Her green eyes sparkle intently as James tells her about the run-in this morning. Partway through, Mary grabs James’ hand and begins painting his nails forest green. She and Sirius take turns interrupting, mostly to press the issue of just how cute this guy was, and to gode James for experiencing nirvana after pinning a total stranger to the ground. Even Lily can’t help but smirk, but James doesn’t really mind. He doesn’t voice the thought that the awkward first meeting could turn into a story he’ll tell his kids one day.

“And you’re sure he was shorter than Sirius?” Marlene asks skeptically.

“Unbelievably, yes.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius demands. Mary rolls her eyes at him.

“You may be pretty, Black, but you can’t even see what’s on the top shelf.”

“Luckily, your boyfriend can get jars for you,” Lily says cheerfully. Sirius huffs and tucks himself onto the couch beside Remus. He holds up his cherry red nails and eyes his boyfriend, who remains fully engrossed in his copy of A Tale of Two Cities.

“Moony.” Remus glances up, his gaze immediately softening at the sight of his boyfriend’s wide grey eyes. A smile pulls at his lips as he reaches to tuck a strand of Sirius’ hair behind his ear.

“They look gorgeous. You always do. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, love.” Sirius visibly melts before pulling him into a kiss that ends with them both beaming and Sirius snuggled lovingly against Remus’ side.

Mary glances down at her own nails and then at Marlene, her dark brown eyes hopeful. Peter nudges Marlene sharply. Her head jerks up and she stares at Mary for a moment, slowly deciphering how she’s meant to respond.

“Your nails look beautiful, Mary,” she says hesitantly. James holds up his hands and looks pointedly at Peter.

“Not happening,” says Peter.

“You’re a traitor,” James whispers.

“You look very pretty, James,” Lily supplies.

“Nah,” Mary grins knowingly. “Pretty boys are just his type.”

The afternoon passes in a blur, with laughter and snacks bleeding into evening when Lily heads home to write an essay, and James opts out of the party his other friends ready themselves for. They all end up waiting in the kitchen for Sirius and Mary, who both appear wearing a miniskirt. Remus completely freezes for several long seconds until Mary grins, winds her arm back, and smacks Sirius’ ass. This shakes Remus from his trance long enough to step in and prevent his boyfriend from retaliating.

The door closes behind them and James is alone in the apartment, his mind looping over the one detail he didn’t share with his friends. The name written in perfect cursive on the upper right corner of the formula sheet he pulled from a patch of ornamental grass.

The name was Regulus.

Which James finds characteristically pretentious and also dangerously hot.

It’s also definitely uncommon, which means there’s a good chance that Regulus might be the first one that comes up when searched. Which is a thing James definitely should not do but his impulse control left 10 minutes ago with Lily Evans.

So James gives in. Unfortunately, none of the Reguluses (Reguli?) that he finds are the right one. Coincidentally, they seem to be disproportionately British and dead. James tells himself to be patient and just slow down. Their university isn’t small, but if fate brought James and Regulus together once, it’s bound to happen again. And James gave him his phone number. So he’ll probably call him in the next day or so if he’s interested at all.

James casually and normally waits two days for his phone to ring until Remus yells at him for constantly pacing back and forth in the hallway. He then remembers a fact that would have been really helpful two days ago.

He pulls out his laptop, hurriedly pulling up his school’s grade network and keying in the admin code Peter acquired for a prank last year. No one asked how he got it. James does not want to know.
But with a simple search, he finds Regulus Arcturus, as well as his class schedule.

James knows intrinsically this is the worst thing he’s ever done and he’s done plenty of things he regrets. Maybe it will all rightfully blow up in his face.

Luckily, Regulus seems like a guy who will kill him in cold blood if James takes a step too far.

Chapter Text

Regulus steps briskly through the halls of the English building, black dress shoes clicking importantly on the tile. Beside him, Evan Rosier struggles to keep up, eyeing his own untied shoelace in fear.

“Can you slow down?” he pleads.

“Why.”

“Because you’re not a character in a legal drama?” Regulus huffs but stops anyway, glaring at passerby as Evan stoops to tie his shoe. Regulus looks down at him and arches an eyebrow.

“Better?” Evan gives him a scathing look.

“This is why you’ve had the same four friends since middle school.”

“Someone asked me to be my friend yesterday, actually.” He receives a look of obvious skepticism. Regulus holds his gaze, unyielding. Evan stands. It’s not fair that he’s instantly taller than Regulus.

“That’s news, because last I checked, you don’t talk to anyone who didn’t walk the mile with you in gym class.” Regulus gives a sharp glare to his triumphant blue eyes and storms past him, scowling.

“Not true.” Evan jogs to keep up, leaning over his shoulder with a grin.

“Prove it.”

“I’m not going to.”

“Then it didn’t happen. If you want to suddenly rebrand yourself as a social butterfly, Regulus, you’d better have evidence to back it up—“

“He knew me before, okay?” It slips out before he can stop it: the nagging detail he’s been longing to reveal for the last 24 hours just to hear someone else’s breath stop. He hasn’t exactly had the chance, considering that his small apartment is suddenly too large for one boy confined by habit to his side of the bed. Did he ever actually share his secrets when he had the opportunity? Not a chance, so why is he still reeling? Sure, Regulus never had anything so unrealistic as trust, but he had plenty of murmurs and false promises whispered against his skin, the comforting weight of arms circling his ribs when he couldn’t breathe, and wasn’t that eno—“

“Reg—“ Evan’s hand brushes his shoulder, shaking him from his trance.

“It’s fine.” He pushes forward, shrugging him off lightly. He forces his voice into a carefree register. “He didn’t recognize me.” He keeps walking, but Evan’s footsteps don’t follow. Regulus stops in the middle of the hall with a sigh.

“Did you want him to know who you are?” his friend asks gently. Regulus can’t help it. He laughs, drawing a few concerned eyes in the hall. Evan must think he’s been possessed.

“Do you remember my brother? Long hair, loves the sound of his own voice, has an equally annoying best friend he never lets out of his sight?” Evan nods warily. “Well, guess who I ran into yesterday, or rather who ran into me? Yep, it was good old Sirius’ best pal James. Luckily, he was too busy making incessant bedroom eyes at me to put two and two together, but in any case…” Regulus flashes a cocky smile over his shoulder, the kind that he avoids because he can’t stand seeing his brother in the mirror. “The past is best left where it belongs. We wouldn’t want dear James pining for a ghost now, would we?” He smiles sweetly, despite the voice screaming that humour was always Sirius’ coping mechanism, too. Evan’s anxious stare says he is urgently planning the quickest way to get Regulus to a psychiatrist. Thankfully, the bell rings. “Oh, look at that, I need to go. Bye, Evan!” Before he can run off, his friend surges forward, awkwardly pulling Regulus into his arms. Regulus just stares at the floor, more distraught at the physical affection than his impromptu outburst moments before.

“We are not done talking about this. Call me later or I will bring everyone to your apartment and we will all hug you,” Evan threatens.

“You backstabbing bitch,” Regulus accuses. Evan laughs and kindly pretends that he didn’t just watch him fall apart over a boy. Again. God, Regulus needs to get a grip. “Now get out of here.” Evan finally frees him from the hug.

“I love you.” Evan runs off before Regulus can even threaten him. He exhales, runs a comforting hand through his short, dark hair, and walks through the door of his American Poetry class. What he sees stops him dead in his tracks.

A familiar boy with smooth brown skin and a blinding white smile is chatting to his professor, one large hand pressed to her desk as the other gestures expressively. Mrs. Beelan is laughing. Regulus has been in her class for a week in which she did not smile. As if he can hear his inner panic, James immediately glances in his direction. Wide dark eyes catch on Regulus and he swears his heart stops in his chest. James gives him a small wave, the edge of his mouth flicking up in a winning smile.

Regulus strides to his seat and prays to God he isn’t blushing.

When the class starts, James sits down in the front row.

Regulus waits for Mrs. Beelan to revert to her usual state of universal hatred and kick the intruder out. Instead, she begins the lecture. James pulls out his laptop and starts taking fervent notes. He has seemingly joined this class for the singular purpose of driving Regulus to insanity.

Regulus tries to ignore his presence, but by the end of class his left eye is twitching and he’s seconds from stabbing anyone who looks at him wrong. The bell rings and he orders himself into normalcy, throwing his bag over his shoulder and hurrying down the stairs to the door. James stands up just as he passes his seat, and Regulus prepares to recoil, or yell, or maybe just curl up in a ball until James leaves. Instead, he receives nothing but a genuine smile and a note tucked into his palm. Before he can say a word, James is already out the door. Regulus folds open the crumpled note, preparing for the worst.

I like your tie. :)

That’s good, because one day Regulus is going to strangle him with it.

Chapter Text

James types in his laptop password, pulls up his notes document, and then nearly has a heart attack because Regulus Arcturus is standing directly beside him. He swipes a hand desperately through his perpetually messy hair, not at all prepared for this interaction.

“Hi. It’s great to… you’re… hi.” Regulus smirks and James’ throat instantly goes dry. He stares intently at his hands on the table as Regulus casually sinks into the seat next to him. Those piercing gray eyes slowly pour over every inch of his skin as Regulus tilts his face into his palm, pale fingers brushing his silky black hair.

“Hey,” says his dream come true before reaching across the table and confidently taking a swig from James’ coffee cup. He then slams it down and makes a face like he’s been poisoned. “What the fuck is that?” he demands, his voice contorted with disgust. He’s so unbelievably beautiful.

“It’s a matcha latte.” Regulus looks like he’s about to gag.

“It tastes like absolute shit.”

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were going to try it when I ordered. I would have asked what you wanted if I’d known—”

“Coffee.” Regulus stands with a traumatized air. “I’d prefer coffee.” James gazes up at him worshipfully.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Then he’s back in his own seat and James can only wonder if those pretty grey eyes are glancing his way. His matcha latte tastes wonderful. He’s acutely aware whose lips were on it last.

Later, Peter tells him that statement is worrying and James should probably use his future psych degree to figure out that particular kink. Sirius tells him not to worry about it because he’s thought of much worse. Remus gives James a vaguely haunted nod to confirm.

James brings Regulus a coffee before their next American Poetry class. He stares down at the outstretched cup as if he’s been offered a live snake, except that Regulus seems like the kind of person who would be ecstatic to be gifted a snake, granted that it wasn’t from James. He immediately regrets his intended gesture.

“Sorry. You don’t have to take it. I’ll give it to our prof—“

“No,” Regulus interrupts, grey eyes flashing. “You’ve sucked up to her enough already.” James beams as Regulus takes the coffee from his grasp, their fingers briefly touching. Regulus examines the label on the cup with unconcealed disdain.

“I usually drink it black.” Of course he does.

“If you really don’t want it—” Regulus flips him the bird and takes a swig in one fluid motion. He gives a judgemental cringe, glaring at the drink.

“Whoever invented a hazelnut shot deserves to be shot.”

“Sorry. I told them I wanted it as sweet as you.” Regulus rolls his eyes before seeming to register that statement and glancing up to make irritated eye contact with James.

“Never use that pick up line on anyone ever again.”

“I won’t need to pick up anyone after you.” James leaves him speechless and returns to his seat in a large amount of justified fear.

Their next class together, James places a black coffee on his desk and backs away quickly.

“Hi, sorry I was weird the other day. I’ll leave you alone now.” James turns away as Regulus glances at the coffee on his desk in apparent dismay.

“That’s no way to treat the last person you’ll ever date,” says a soft voice behind him. James spins around, his heart in his throat. His brain takes half a minute to reboot itself.

“What did you just say?” Regulus pops open the coffee and takes a careful sip, leaning back gingerly in his chair. He carefully adjusts the cuff of his dark green collared shirt.

“You promised I’ll be the last person you ever pick up. That means you intend to marry me, or you plan to swear yourself into the priesthood. I’m trying to guess which.” James’ thoughts twist themselves into knots as Regulus looks him up and down.

“I’m not religious,” James informs him dumbly.

“Oh.” A slight suggestive lift of his perfect eyebrows and James’ entire face goes hot. “Then I guess you’re taking me home after all.” Before James can stop himself he’s stepped forward, spreading his palm on the table as he leans down to Regulus’ beautifully upturned face.

“I’d do anything you asked me to,” he promises. Grey eyes melt gazing up at him and James’ heart pounds at a thousand miles an hour as Regulus reaches out and gently cups his jaw.

“Oh, James,” he murmurs and something snaps and the next moment James is eagerly leaning in. A hand instantly locks on his shoulder, nudging him back, and James pulls away with a million apologies that die on his lips at that knowing, playful smile. Regulus winks once before unceremoniously turning his back on James. “Good luck with the wedding plans, handsome.”

James looks up to find the entire class staring at him as he’s left burning to a quick from the inside out. He’s never been so happy to lose at chess.

His friends listen to this development in stunned silence from their varied perches in the living room.

“This guy is playing you like a dollar store recorder,” Marlene says in horrified awe.

“He’s not…” A quick glance at his friends’ pitying faces tells him that might be exactly what is happening. “Well, he is, but he’s also obviously flirting with me.”

“Toying with you might be more accurate,” Remus suggests.

“Was he this delusional about me?” Lily asks in horror. Sirius props himself up in his boyfriend’s lap to grin wildly at her.

“He made a wedding Pinterest board and everything. You can guess what kind of flowers he was going to fire out of a cannon as you walked down the aisle.” Lily’s jaw drops.

“Oh my God.” James turns his gaze to Remus in retaliation.

“He signed his name as Mr. Sirius Lupin for the entirety of 8th grade. Do with that information what you will.” Mary’s face lights up in absolute joy as Sirius goes deadly pale.

“They didn’t start dating until Grade 10,” she declares, incredulous.

“Exactly,” James says. Peter stands up and walks out the room without a word.

“Uh, where are you going?” Marlene calls. He doesn’t even glance back.

“To question the romantic insanity of the people I live with,” comes his disappointed, deadpan delivery.

And just like that, Peter loses his place as best man at James and Regulus’ wedding. Which is his loss, because now he won’t get to fire the flower cannon.

Chapter Text

Regulus walks up to his friends and immediately calls them on their shit.

“What are you hiding?”

“Nothing,” says Pandora, shaking her head violently. He glances down at Dorcas, who is casually eating a carrot. Barty grins wickedly at him from across the table. Beside him, Evan is attempting to disappear into his seat. Everything starts to make a lot more sense.

“Why do I tell you anything, Rosier?” Regulus asks angrily. Barty leans across the table with a hopeful jeer.

“So, how is James Potter in bed?“ Dorcas grabs Regulus by the scruff of his neck and sits him down in the seat next to her before he can commit homicide.

“Ignore him.” Regulus folds his arms against his chest and scowls across the table at his momentarily silent friends.

“I haven’t slept with him.”

“I know.”

“We’re not even dating.”

“We’re aware. Barty’s just an idiot,” Dorcas agrees easily. Somewhat appeased by the support, Regulus calms down enough to steal her dessert. Dorcas is usually more attentive, but today her eyes seem to be fixed elsewhere. Regulus follows her gaze across the cafeteria.

“Who is that?”

“Huh?”

“The girl you’re staring at, Dorcas.” She stiffens and immediately fixes her eyes on her tray.

“I wasn’t… she’s no one.”

“Oh, please.” Barty has followed her gaze and is staring over his shoulder with a pleased smirk. “Marlene McKinnon is hardly no one.”

“Mar—“ Regulus picks her out among the women’s football team, wearing a tight athletic t-shirt with her blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. “Cas—“ He makes the mistake of glancing at Dorcas’ lovestruck face and immediately feels terrible. He lowers his voice to a comforting tone. “She’s beautiful, Cas, really, but you know this is a bad idea. She’s one of my brother’s friends and you know what they’re like—“

“What’s James like?” she asks. Regulus’ face burns as Barty and Pandora lose their minds in the background. Regulus breaks from her pointed eye contact.

“Low blow, Meadowes.”

“Yeah, well—“ She slides over an appeasing half of her Caesar wrap with a hopeful glance. “Sometimes you’re not the nicest yourself, sunshine.”

“Sometimes?” Evan mumbles. Barty’s eyes catch on something behind them and he quickly rushes to hide his smile. He nudges Evan, whose eyes widen at the sight. Regulus purportedly ignores them even as Pandora unsubtly turns around in her seat and waves excitedly at someone. A wicked glint settles in Barty’s eyes as Evan’s expression turns to horror.

“Oh God. He’s actually coming over here.”

“Who?” Regulus snaps, fed up with everyone and everything. Barty casts him a mooning glance, batting his eyelashes.

“Your boyfriend, Black.”

“You—“ Regulus spins around in his seat just to see James walk up to the table, stopping a foot away as those wide brown eyes linger on his face.

“Hi,” he says, looking hopelessly sweet and devastatingly handsome, if Regulus was interested, which he’s not, despite those unavoidable muscles and those dark, adoring doe-eyes.

“If you’re going to keep staring, you might as well sit down, Potter,” says Dorcas with a roll of her eyes. James blushes and crosses to take the seat opposite Regulus without further invitation. Barty throws an arm around his shoulders, all the while smiling smugly at Regulus.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce us, Reg?” James seems only slightly caught off guard by Barty’s behaviour. Regulus folds his arms.

“James, meet Evan, Pandora, Dorcas, and Barty. You shits, meet James.”

“I’ve never seen Reg this friendly,” Pandora gushes. “He really likes you.”

“Don’t trust anything any of them say, James, they’re all pathological liars.” James tips his head to one side, a coy smile on his lips.

“I didn’t know you had a nickname.” Someone is going to die for that.

“And I wish you still didn’t, but here we are.”

James leans forward, his voice dipping low. “Well I think it’s cute.” Barty suspiciously eyes James.

“Your intentions had better be marriage, Potter, because we’ll have to kill you if they aren’t.” Regulus glares daggers at his friend.

“I don’t think my sex life is exactly your concern, however, I do think you could be less of a slag.” Barty clutches his imaginary pearls, before turning to wink at James.

“That mouth, eh, Potter?”

“Don’t be gross,” Dorcas snaps, her severe gaze shifting to James. “He’s a catch, Potter. I think you know that already. I want you to know that if you do a single thing to hurt him, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Cas—“ Regulus seethes.

“It’s okay,” James says softly. He meets Dorcas’ gaze with a solemn nod. “I get it.”

“Do you?” Evan asks sharply, blue eyes uncharacteristically cold as he stares down his prey. James holds his gaze. “He’s been hurt badly by guys before, and I promise that at first they seemed just as nice and devoted as you. It’s quite the feat to get over Reg’s defences, but it is possible, and if I have to comfort him because he made the decision to trust a man who promised he loved him only to get stabbed in the back, again, then I can promise you, James, none of us are going to be so forgiving this time.” Silence rings until Evan finally looks away. “Got it?”

“I’ve got it,” says James, his voice steady. “I’m glad he has you.”

“I agree.” Barty drops his eyes playfully. “That was really hot, Ev.” Regulus exhales in relief as Evan attempts to ward off Barty’s overly affectionate advances and Pandora aggressively interrogates James on his music taste. Dorcas leans downs to his ear with a knowing smirk.

“I’m going to pursue Marlene McKinnon all I want, Reg, because you’re going to be a Marauder by marriage before you’ve finished your masters.” Regulus scoffs.

“Who says I’m attracted to him in the first place?” She just smiles, shaking her at him knowingly.

“I know you, Regulus, and the fact that you’ve let him sit here this long tells me you’ve already fucked him in your head.” Regulus doesn’t respond. He’s too busy rethinking all the times and ways his mind has betrayed him, and done exactly that.

11:36 pm
Him

Regulus: I don’t know why I’m texting you rn

James: neither do I but it might help if I knew who you were

Regulus: it’s Regulus, James

James: …

James: …

Regulus: nvm this was stupid

James: sorry don’t leave!

James: I couldn’t believe you kept my number

Regulus: I didn’t keep it for you moron I need the sheet for statistics

James: yeah fair

James: you texted me tho

Regulus: consider it payment for 5 coffees

James: those were for pretty privilege I didn’t expect anything back

Regulus: I don’t get you

James: ?

Regulus: why do you like me

James: …

James: sometimes when you think no one’s watching you’ll get this dreamy look just doing your work or staring out the window and there’ll be this tiny soft smile in the corner of your mouth

James: just once I’d like to be the reason you look that happy

Regulus: …

Regulus: good night James

James: text me any time okay?

James: anything you need I’m here

James: you’re lovely to talk to

James: …

James: good night Regulus

Chapter Text

The next day James spends 18 minutes tapping his foot urgently outside a practice room in the Arts Building, waiting for Sirius to stop playing the piano and finally pay attention to him. Eventually, his best friend’s time slot must end, because he steps out into the hall wearing ripped jeans and a leather jacket. His gunmetal grey eyes seem vaguely confused to see James waiting for him.

“Is something wrong—“ James practically shoves his phone in his face.

“HE TEXTED ME LAST NIGHT WHAT DO I DO DOES HE LIKE ME SHOULD I SAY SOMETHING OR AM I JUST HIS FRIEND YOU KNOW?” Sirius slowly places his hand on James’ shoulder, his face clearly processing the words that just burst out of James’ mouth.

“Let’s take a walk, shall we?” By the time they’ve left the building, James has wound an arm around Sirius, desperate for reassurance. This attracts a few stares but does not at all deter Sirius from leaning his head against James’ shoulder. When people ask if they’re dating, Sirius enjoys proudly gushing that James is his side piece.

James lets Sirius steer him across the street to a park and sit him down on the nearest bench.

“Alright. So he texted you last night.” James eagerly unlocks his phone and presses it into his friend’s hands. Sirius silently read through the conversation, raising an elegant black eyebrow partway through.

“I didn’t know you had moves like that, Prongs.” James folds his arms, offended.

“I have plenty of moves.” Sirius gives him a skeptical glance.

“The last time I saw you ask someone out, you told Lily you only wanted kids if they were hers.” James grimaces at the memory of that conversation.

“Yeah, that… that was bad. Why on Earth is she still my friend after that?” Sirius reaches over and pats James’ shoulder in a reassuring manner.

“I guess she does love you. Just not enough to have your kids—“

“Oh, shut up.” Sirius grins quickly before returning his attention to the text thread.

“Obviously tone is hard to identify over text, but it definitely seems like he made an impulse decision to text you and then immediately regretted it. I think he does like you in a romantic way, but he’s insecure and scared he’ll mess up.”

“Why would he think that? He’s amazing, Sirius. He’s perfect. Should I tell him—” Sirius grabs his shoulder firmly.

“James. Slow down and let me explain.” James exhales slowly, his shoulders deflating.

“Right. Sorry.” Sirius flashes him a pointed look before shifting closer to James, his usually unshakable expression vulnerable. His voice is soft and questioning.

“Remember how I acted when I realized I liked Remus?” James is momentarily surprised, but counts descriptors off on his fingers regardless.

“Dismayed. Insufferable. Constantly horny—“ Sirius tries to shove James off the bench, but fails due to their weight difference and James’ resistance. Sirius huffs as James slings an arm around him with a grin.

“That was a rhetorical question. I was conflicted. I wanted him to like me, desperately, but I was terrified of coming on too strong or overstepping what he wanted. I flirted with him constantly, but the minute he so much as told me I looked nice, panic would set in and I’d play it off as a joke. Some of that was internalized homophobia, I’m sure, but mostly I didn’t think I was good enough for him. I had spent my life acting out before anyone could hurt me, and here was this guy who saw my worst and still wanted to hold me. If he’s anything like me, he just needs time, James. All you can do is be there until one day he realizes you’re not too good to be true.” James pushes up his glasses to rub his eyes. Sirius looks up at him in dismay. “Are you actually crying right now?” James pulls Sirius closer and buries his face in his shoulder, his eyes watering up.

“I can’t help it, Pads, I love love. Have you told Remus that’s how you feel about him?” Sirius scowls, disgusted.

“Absolutely not. We don’t talk about feelings, ours is a purely physical relationship.”

“You’re a liar. You’re hopelessly in love. Last week, he wrote you a poem and you cried.”

“That was foreplay.”

“You’re impossible.” James rises from the bench and takes Sirius’ hand, tugging him gently to his feet. They trace their way toward home, attached at the hip. “I’ll have you know that you and Moony are my second favourite love story,” James informs him proudly. “My parents are still first.” Sirius glances at him, nonplussed.

“That means there’s still room for you and your guy in your top three. You know, when he comes to his senses about you.” James smiles, grateful for the reassurance.

“Yeah.” A matching stride of steps on the pavement. “Sirius?” His friend’s steps pause on the sidewalk, curious grey eyes looking up at him.

“Yeah?” James swallows before giving a nervous smile.

“His name is Regulus.” Sirius blinks, taking in the name. His eyes meet James’, slightly shocked.

“Shit, he sounds pretty.” James grins from ear to ear, pleased.

“He’s absolutely beautiful. Looks a bit like you actually.” Sirius brushes his hair over his shoulder, gazing up at James lovingly.

“Aw, am I your type?” They round the corner of their block and nearly collide with Marlene, her backpack over her shoulder and confusion written on her face.

“Why are you hitting on James?” she asks Sirius. He snakes an arm around James’ waist, pulling him close.

“He’s the love of my life, McKinnon. Get your own.” She shrugs, stepping around them on the sidewalk.

“In that case, I pick Remus. I’m going to treat him so well.” A hint of jealousy flashes across Sirius’ face before he can quell it.

“You’re a lesbian, McKinnon,” he says, but there’s fear in his eyes. Marlene continues walking past them with a smirk.

“For that boyfriend of yours, I’d eagerly make an exception.” She shoots a suggestive wink over her shoulder as Sirius sputters. “Shooters gotta shoot, Black.” James has to grab Sirius by the waist to stop him from charging after her. When his friend has finally calmed down, James hugs him from behind with a smile.

“Who doesn’t have feelings now?”

James holds off on texting Regulus for an hour after he gets home. The minute the hour is over, his phone is back in his hand.

11:01
Future Husband

James: how has your day been

James: miss you

Regulus does not respond in the next ten minutes so James reluctantly leaves to do the dishes.

11:36

Regulus: I have to write a stupid mock investment portfolio

James: i'm sure you’ll do great you’re really smart

Regulus: suck up

Regulus: you busy

James: no I’m at home what do you need

Regulus: smuggle me lunch into the library

James: they’re very intense about no food/drink rule

Regulus: hence the smuggling

James: Regulus I am a morally upstanding young man

Regulus: that’s a shame I can’t resist a bad boy

James:

James: let me in the back door in 15 minutes

Regulus: look at that he can be bad

James: you’re a corrupting influence

Regulus: I know my power

Regulus: <}

James:

James: you’ll be my ruin Regulus Arcturus

James: <}

Chapter Text

Regulus opens the library door to find James, holding two cellophane-wrapped donairs and beaming stupidly at him.

“So, do you come here often?” Regulus turns on his heel and walks away. James hurries to follow through the narrow aisles of rarely signed-out reference books. “Sorry, that was dumb. Is it okay if I stay? I’ll leave if you—“ Regulus turns around and takes a donair from James’ hand. If he finds James boyishly handsome in his rumpled khakis and an eye-catching dark blue sweater, he hides the attraction with forced irritation.

“You can stay if you stop being annoying,” he concedes sternly. James nods eagerly, only reinforcing his adoring appearance.

“Deal.” Regulus spins on his heel and tries to banish James Potter’s pretty brown eyes and strong shoulders from his mind as he retreats to the empty corner of the wall where he left his laptop. James follows obliviously, examining the dilapidated library materials around them with interest. “You weren’t joking when you said you knew a spot.”

“Ha,” Regulus deadpans as he sits against the wall, reopening his laptop.“I thought it best that we hide the contraband.” To his chagrin, James immediately stops running his finger through the dust on the shelves and sinks onto the floor next to him, all sprawled-out legs and big, gentle hands. Regulus fights to even out his breath as James leans closer to peer at the data sheet on his computer. For a long moment, they are both perfectly silent.

“Yeah, I have no clue what any of that means.” Regulus looks down at the screen instead of those eyes.

“That’s okay. I needed you more for the illegal donair anyway.” He sets the laptop aside and glances up to catch James watching him. James finds the nerve to smile softly.

“Any time.” Regulus suddenly takes an interest in peeling open the cellophane wrapper and digging into his lunch.

“What’s your major, anyway?” He searches for a safer topic as they both pause eating. “I never asked.”

“Psychology.” Regulus looks up at James and immediately stands up.

“You’re only spending time with me to identify and document all my issues. I fucking knew it.” Regulus steps to leave, but James grabs his hand with a laugh.

“I promise I’m not studying you.”

“Well then I’m just disappointed in you. My fucked up subconscious would be an extraordinary muse.” Regulus is reluctantly coerced into sitting by James’ longing eyes. Regulus drops James’ hand like it’s burned him and they silently finish eating. James watches him, apologetic.

“I couldn’t psychoanalyze you. I never know what you’re thinking.” James exhales softly. He’d like to touch that blue sweater. He’d like to run his fingers devoutly beneath it. “This would be a lot simpler if I could tell how you feel.” That would be disastrous, because Regulus can’t often put names to the emotions James prompts, and they are increasingly and dangerously the selfish, passionate, violently wanting sort.

“I think I’m better than you at your major, because I already know that you have a hero complex and a degradation kink,” Regulus says with a cruel smile. He’ll gladly air James’ secrets to protect his own. James just smirks at him, pleased rather than upset.

“You should probably stop being so mean to me then.”

“That would be merciful of me, but quite out of line with your type.” James leans toward him, beautiful eyes lightly up hopefully.

“So you want to be my type?” James swivels to face him, propping his hand on the floor beside Regulus’ hip. His heart pounds in his chest as he fights to remain stoic. He looks James dead in those longing brown eyes.

“I am the physical manifestation of your type, James. You wouldn’t want me this much if I wasn’t.” He doesn’t deny it, and his gaze never wavers.

“Why don’t I know any of your secrets?” James leans closer, his voice gentle and asking too many questions Regulus doesn’t know the answers to, not when James is here and he’s everything he was in a school gym five years ago and Regulus still intrinsically, painfully wishes he was his.

“If you knew who I was you wouldn’t want me anymore,” he says, and he needs it to be true. A hand gently tips his chin up, urging him to meet those eyes refusing to run while they still have the chance.

“We’ll see,” is all James promises.

Only moment Regulus hears a voice in the next aisle of shelves, and the next he’s pinning James to the ground. The other boy looks rather pleased with this turn of events before registering the sheer panic on Regulus’ features. He nods in understanding as Regulus puts a warning finger to his lips and tucks himself tight against his side, half hidden by the shelves. Through the rare gaps in the textbooks he can glimpse the neatly pressed pants of his ex boyfriend, humming blissfully as he scans the titles, moving down the row towards them. James meets Regulus’ eyes in confusion. Regulus curls himself tighter, defeated.

“He’s my ex,” he whispers. James’ expression shifts, suddenly protective as his eyes fix in the direction of the steps nearing their hiding place. James cups his face gently and leans closer, his gaze nervous.

“Can I kiss you?” Regulus pulls back in shock as James rushes to explain. “Not like that, just to get rid of him.” Well that’s insulting. But also genius. “Reg—“

“Yes,” Regulus says and then those perfect lips are on his. It’s the barest of touches, chaste and sweet until James threads his fingers tenderly into his hair and Regulus suddenly realizes he is not close enough. Regulus doesn’t think as he grabs the collar of that gorgeous blue sweater and yanks greedily. James is right there, breaths shallow and fast as he catches him without noise or complaint and Regulus tips and falls disastrously over the edge of sane. He’s drowning and his only anchor is those parted lips and the hands worshipfully caressing his hair.

“What the fuck?” Gilderoy Lockhart demands in horror where he stands at the end of the aisle. Regulus reluctantly pulls away from James to glare at him.

“Could you not? I’m kind of busy at the moment.” Lockhart shifts his eyes to James, shocked and hurt.

“You certainly move on quickly.” It registers in Regulus’ scattered mind that he is straddling James’ lap with his hands buried in his sweater. Shit, he actually did that. James’ eyes are locked immovably on his face, lost and euphoric and so endlessly devoted. Regulus kissed him and the worst part is he doesn’t even regret it.

He is so weak. That is the only reason for what he does next.

He winds his arms around James’ neck and grins at Lockhart over his shoulder.

“Well, I like him a lot more. Now, if you don’t mind, I might fuck him on the floor of the library.” He thinks he hears James’ heart stop in his chest but it works, because Lockhart turns on his heel with a disgusted sneer.

“You’re a whore.”

“That’s hypocritical of you.” Regulus is kissing James before his ex has even walked away, pushing his hands up under his sweater, lost in the heat of his skin. James is the one who pulls away, their foreheads resting together as every facet of emotion touches James’ face with all the warmth and light and burning fire of the sun. In that moment Regulus thinks he’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen and knows he’s the holiest thing he will ever touch. James brushes his cheek with his thumb and he’s so far gone.

“He’s gone, love,” he says, and Regulus is shaken from his trance. James’ voice is melancholic and he can’t comprehend why. “You’re a hell of an actor, though.” Regulus pulls back, surprised and a little disappointed.

“James—“

“For what it’s worth, you’re a hell of a kisser. I mean, God—“

“Potter—“ Regulus tries to interrupt, his voice fond despite himself.

“You’re glorious. Every inch of you is the closest thing to heaven on Earth that I’ll ever find—“

“James.” He freezes, brown eyes terrified and hopeful in equal measure. Regulus leans in with an outrageous smile. “Shut up.”

This kiss is messier, less succinct, and all the more wonderful because neither of them will stop beaming. James wraps his arms around his waist, so excited it’s adorable.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming this. Do you actually like me? Do I actually get to kiss you in public and tell everyone you’re my boyfriend—“

“Absolutely not. I like you for now, but you have plenty of time to screw that up.” James hugs him tighter, beaming against his shoulder.

“Because we’ll be together forever!” Regulus scowls.

“That is not what I said.”

“I’m going to be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had,” he gushes.

“That is not a high bar.”

“I’d kill for you,” James whispers adoringly in his ear.

Well, look at that. He might be Regulus’ type after all.

Chapter Text

James walks into his apartment and presses his back to the hallway wall, grinning wildly through his raging disbelief. Regulus kissed him, and James could die right now knowing he got it right. He laughs into his hand, still feeling the ghost of those beautiful lips on his.

“James, you’re back! We’re bringing supper over to the girls—“ Sirius falls to a halt outside the kitchen doorway, examining James carefully. Suddenly, his best friend’s face splits into a grin. “You fucked him, didn’t you?”

“What?” James exclaims, horrified. “No! I didn’t—“ Sirius throws an arm around his shoulders gleefully.

“Of course you didn’t…” He gives him a suggestive wink that says he believes the opposite to be true. James buries his face in his hands, exasperated and blushing.

“I didn’t sleep with him. I’m serious.” Sirius leans close to his face with a sultry smirk.

“No, I’m Sirius.” Peter and Remus step out of the kitchen, carrying an assortment of aluminum trays and Tupperware. James pulls away and takes the food off their hands, grateful for an escape, as Sirius enthusiastically tries to convince them James did, in fact, get laid.

“Just look at him! He’s fucking glowing!”

“Congratulations. You’ll be a wonderful father,” Remus tells him with absolutely zero emotion. Peter pulls on his shoes and completely ignores Sirius’ theatrics.

“So, how are things with your paramour?” James smiles so wide it hurts, unable to keep it in any longer.

“He kissed me today.”

“Oh, really?” Peter looks up in surprise. “Good for you, man.” Sirius looks confused, glancing skeptically at James.

“Kissing is a euphemism, right—“

“No, Sirius,” Peter informs him dryly. “You’re just a slut.” Sirius looks offended until Remus plants a reassuring kiss on his forehead. Sirius’ gaze visibly melts as Remus tips his chin up lovingly.

“He’s my slut.” Peter promptly walks out the door as Remus kneels down to tie his boyfriend’s Doc Martens.

“You’re blushing,” James informs his best friend.

“Shut up,” Sirius says, trying to hide his giddy smile behind his hand. It doesn’t work. “He’s so tall,” he whispers with a giggle. Remus looks up at him with a knowing smirk. James makes a quick break for the door.

“I’ll warn the girls you’ll be late.”

“Good,” says Sirius, already cupping his boyfriend’s face. James winks at Remus and quickly pulls the door closed. Peter looks back at him with a frustrated sigh.

“I left the salad in the fridge but I’m not going back in there.” James smirks, tucking his hands in his pockets as he starts down the steps.

“That’s probably for the best.”

James’ heart pounds as he walks into his class, carefully balancing a tray with two contrasting drinks. He sets them on his desk before picking up Regulus’, a heart scrawled beside his name. James starts up the steps, overwhelmingly afraid. He draws to a halt a foot away from where Regulus sits, his nose buried in a textbook.

“Is it okay if I sit down?” Regulus looks up, grey eyes immediately baffled as he takes in the items in James’ hands.

“What are the flowers for?”

“You,” he blurts quickly. The students behind Regulus immediately stop talking, glancing at the two of them with obvious interest. Regulus is still staring at him, genuine confusion written on his face.

“Okay,” he says softly, and James gives a sigh of relief as he slides into the seat next to him. James nervously hands him the bouquet, watching those grey eyes take in the blush pink rosebuds pillowed in dark green foliage. He sets Regulus’ coffee gingerly beside his books. Regulus keeps his gaze on his knees as he sets the bouquet carefully on his side of the table.

“I regret yesterday.” Suddenly, there is no breath in James’ lungs. It went somewhere, but he can’t summon the strength to search for it. He thinks he’ll just suffocate instead. Regulus looks at him and his heart seems to break, that beautiful face falling to disrepair. Slender white fingers slip meaningfully between James’. His hand is cold. “Not—“ Regulus looks down, tears pushing into those pretty eyes. He chokes on a breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just— I’m not the kind of guy who deserves you. I don’t think I can do this.”

It hurts when James breathes, but there’s still a hand in his. He doesn’t want to let go.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve asked before I got you flowers.” Regulus slides his chair closer, his hair brushing James’ shoulder. He squeezes his hand, eyes pressing closed.

“It’s not your fault. They’re beautiful, James.”

“They reminded me of you.” Regulus looks up at him, eyes flying open.

“Please don’t say that.” James winds his fingers tighter through the other boy’s, stubbornly undeterred.

“You’re beautiful, Regulus.”

“If you don’t mind, gentlemen, we should really be starting the class now.” Mrs. Beelan’s booming voice shakes James from his haze. He blushes furiously as he disentangles his hand from Regulus’ and trips back to his seat in the front row, issuing frantic apologies. Regulus doesn’t say a word. He just stares down at his books and, finally, takes a measured sip of his coffee.

James spends the entire class replaying the last 10 minutes, over and over again, searching for a redo switch. He feels like a piece of shit for making Regulus cry. If Evan showed up to punch James in the face right now, he would thank him.

He doesn’t realize class has ended until people start walking out the door. More than a few send pitying glances his way. James hears the empty chair beside him screech against the floor. Regulus sits gingerly, wrapped flowers balanced on his lap.

“Hi.” James smiles at him, carefully.

“Hey.”

“I overreacted.”

“Maybe a little bit.”

“James—” he says, exasperated, but he’s overjoyed just to hear his name on those lips.

“Will you go out with me?” Regulus looks up at him and whispers something harshly under his breath. “Sorry, I didn’t—“

“You’re a pain in the ass.” James considers that one for a second.

“That doesn’t sound like a no…” Regulus stares him down in silence, a raging battle occurring behind those gorgeous eyes.

“Fuck it,” he whispers, and stands, grabbing James’ collar.

Kissing Regulus is a hurricane, and a soft landing, and a purpose. James slips his hand into his hair as he leans down further, heart pounding wildly as he hears Regulus’ breath catch. He’s every bit as lovely as he was yesterday and, hell, this is the deja vu James was hoping for.

“I’m glad you figured out whatever the hell this is, but would you please get out of my class.” James blushes terribly as he pulls away from Regulus, scooping up the boy’s textbooks in one arm and his hand in the other.

“Sorry,” he issues to an unimpressed Mrs. Beelan, before swiftly leading Regulus out the door. When Regulus doesn’t pull his hand away he keeps it, swinging it gently as they walk down the hall.

“You don’t have to carry my books,” Regulus tells him, attempting to adjust his mussed hair one-handedly. “I’m going to the Math Department, so—“

“Really? So am I, I’ll walk you to class.” Regulus stops, giving him a harshly skeptical look.

“You’re in a math class.”

“One of the easier ones that you’re unfortunately not in, but yeah.” Regulus adjusts his grip on James’ hand and resumes his pace, apparently believing him.

“So…” Regulus doesn’t look at him as he walks. “You want to take me on a date.”

“Absolutely. More than one if you want.” Regulus takes back his hand and his textbooks before James can protest. He sets his sharp, pretty jaw decidedly.

“Good. I’m free Saturday. See you then.”

“I can walk you—“

“Your class is on the opposite side of the campus.” James looks down at him, ashamed and a little scared. Regulus just smiles sweetly, rising on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Don’t fucking lie to me,” he whispers darkly. He turns on his heel and walks away, giving James a sultry wink over his shoulder. “Goodbye, darling.”

James doesn’t usually find fear a turn-on, but this is an extenuating circumstance. Or maybe it’s just Regulus, in every light and angle.

Chapter Text

Regulus is 15 minutes late to meet James. He swears he didn’t do it on purpose. He feels better when he spots James, and realizes he does not seem heartbroken in the least. In fact, Regulus has been severely outmatched because James is kneeling on the sidewalk, petting a golden retriever with the purest look of adoration in his eyes. Regulus knows he cannot compete with that golden retriever.

And yet those dark brown eyes get brighter when he looks up and sees him. James says something Regulus can’t catch to the golden retriever’s owner, who also happens to be a good-looking guy in his early twenties. Regulus feels a sharp pang of jealousy. The guy glances in Regulus’ direction and gives James a wave goodbye. The enthusiastic dog bounds away after a one last slobbery lick of James’ hands. James turns excitedly in Regulus’ direction, meeting him halfway.

“Hi—“ he gushes, his smile sweet.

“Who was that?” Regulus demands, folding his arms over his chest. James glances over his shoulder, surprised at his tone.

“Um, Jack Rhiner. He lives in my building, so I walk Athena when he’s busy with football…” he trails off at Regulus’ stricken expression. He rushes to correct himself. “Oh no, he’s just a friend, Reg. You don’t have to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” he snaps, unconvincingly. James just gives a gentle smile and places his hand reassuringly on Regulus’ shoulder.

“Okay.” He steps closer, his eyes fixed on Regulus adoringly. “You look beautiful.”

“I didn’t dress up for you,” he informs him curtly.

“Of course not. You’re always this stunning. Every time I see you I have to convince myself that I’m not dreaming.” Regulus exhales nervously, eyes pinned on James, weight on the balls of his feet. If James shifts his hand anywhere less innocent, Regulus knows he’ll topple head over heels into James’ strong arms and parted lips.

But James shifts his gaze instead as he removes his hand and steps back, eyes sheepishly scanning the sidewalk.

“Sorry. I should ask before I touch you. But, um, I have a couple things planned for today and I thought I’d surprise you with them as we go if that’s okay?”

“Okay.” Regulus berates himself for not being able to force himself to stop staring at his lips. Luckily, James doesn’t seem to notice.

“Great!” He grins, turning with a nod of his head forward. “Come on, then.” Before he can overthink the urge, Regulus steps forward and slips his hand into the other boy’s. James’ shoulders immediately stiffen and he glances down at their intertwined hands with a healthy balance of shock and bliss. Regulus just tugs him forward.

“Stop staring at me.” James blinks and obediently matches his stride, a blinding smile plastered to his face.

“Yes, sir.” As they walk, James talks about his classes and his friends and his future plans. Regulus’ breath catches at every mention of Sirius. His brother is studying performance piano and, according to James, he’s phenomenal. Sirius is madly in love with his other best friend, and high school sweetheart, Remus Lupin. Most of all Sirius means the entire world to James, and he can’t wait for him to meet Regulus.

Regulus can’t find the words to respond to that.

So he changes the subject, to the Gwendolyn Brooks poem they read in class, and what pets they would each get if they could, and their school football team’s undefeated streak. James happily rants about the players’ stats and coaches’ backgrounds and Regulus just listens, linking his pinky around James’ with a hidden smile. James pulls him back by the hand, freezing in front of a shop doorway.

“Oh. We’re here!” Regulus looks up at the sign, unimpressed.

“You brought me to an ice cream shop?” James’ smile never wavers.

“The best ice cream in the city, handsome, trust me.” Regulus rolls his eyes and lets James lead him inside.

The first thing Regulus notices is that there are 60 flavours written on the back wall.

“Why the hell are there that many.”

“Variety.”

“They must have repeated some. You wouldn’t even notice.”

“I don’t think they purposefully repeated any. This isn’t a scam, sweetheart.”

“That’s what you think.” The line moves far too quickly, and Regulus is still scanning the words on the wall. James leans over, their hands still clasped.

“What are you getting?”

“I don’t know, okay?” he snaps back. “Just pick your own fucking kind.” James laughs. He has a very nice laugh.

“I always get cookie dough, it’s tradition at this point.”

“Why would you— you know what, I don’t care. This place is terrible. I can’t decide between fucking dark chocolate and raspberry ripple.”

“Get both. I’m paying.” Regulus glances at James, caught off guard.

He does end up getting both kinds of ice cream.

“I don’t get it,” he admits as they exit the store. “Why cookie dough?” James sticks his spoon back in his bowl and looks back at him.

“It’s the magnum opus of ice cream flavours, Regulus. My mom never let me eat cookie dough as a kid because she didn’t want me to get salmonella, but I knew instinctively it was better than the actual cookies, and I was right. I am eternally grateful to the genius who decided to put it in ice cream.”

Regulus talks around the spoon in his mouth. “You need help.” James grins before glancing at the time on his phone.

“Oh. Sorry, love, we might have to eat on the way so we’re not late for the next thing.” Regulus nods and copies James in jaywalking across the street.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s in the park and… that’s all I’m saying actually.”

“Well, that’s sketchy.”

“Trust me, beautiful, I’m more scared of you than you are of me.”

“As you should be.” James leads them at a brisk pace into the park, and then to the mouth of a narrower path leading into the trees. Regulus waits as James runs to the nearest garbage to throw out their empty bowls. When James returns, he unsubtly brushes their hands together. Regulus interlocks their fingers with a roll of his eyes. James looks beyond pleased.

“You seem a bit too happy about taking me to a second location.”

“Nope, I’m happy because you’re holding my hand. And don’t worry, we’re almost there.”

Regulus reluctantly goes along with James’ theatrics and is rewarded when the trees suddenly fall away, revealing a wooden amphitheater leading down a hill, a wooden stage at its base. The seats are already filled with people, and beyond the stage Regulus can spot a troupe of people mostly hidden in the trees. Their clothes are modern, but the contrasts in style between them is definitely purposeful. They’re actors. Regulus turns to James, incredulous.

“You brought me to a play?” James suddenly looks very nervous.

“Well, you like poetry, so I figured you might…” he trails off, gesturing unconvincingly at the outdoor theatre. “Shakespeare.” Regulus folds his arms, trying not to look too impressed, but not fully hostile either.

“I did have a rather embarrassing Hamlet phase in high school, so…” James hands their tickets to the usher eagerly, obviously relieved at Regulus’ admittance. He takes his hand excitedly on their way to their seats.

“That’s not embarrassing, Reg, you’re really smart. I was trying to think of something you’d… sometimes I’m scared I can’t keep up to you.” Regulus sits down next to him, caught off guard by his statement.

“You’re not dumb, James.” James gives him a disbelieving glance and Regulus shoves his shoulder. “Stop it. You ask more questions than the rest of our class combined, and they’re all applicable and in depth. You care about the material, and it shows. You make the rest of us better.” Warm brown eyes fix on his, and for once Regulus isn’t looking for an escape. How hadn’t he noticed the danger before? James Potter would be so easy to drown in.

Luckily, he is saved by the show starting.

It’s not one Regulus has watched or read before, and that’s a shame because As You Like It, like a number of Shakespeare plays, still slaps hard hundreds of years later. The action unfolds in typical Shakespearean fashion: everyone’s brother hates them, Orlando impresses a pretty girl named Rosalind by fighting his brother’s lackey, and Rosalind’s uncle kicks her out of the household because he hates her dad and she was in his line of sight. Rosalind decides that she’s going to follow her disgraced father to the forest of Arden, and as women aren’t typically safe among vagabonds, she decides to disguise herself as a young man named Ganymede. She cleans up quite well as a guy, and there’s no issue to be had until certified pretty boy Ganymede runs headlong back into the dashing, if a bit slow on the uptake, Orlando.

Orlando was definitely into Rosalind before, but he is just as whipped for Ganymede, despite not recognizing that they’re the same person. Regulus is forced to commend Shakespeare for his impeccable bisexual representation from 1599.

In fact, the only part Regulus would rewrite is the end. He can’t help but think that if Shakespeare wrote As You Like It today, Rosalind wouldn’t have to change back into a dress for Orlando to marry her. She could probably have just taken her oblivious bi boyfriend by the shoulders and explained that she used to be the girl he won’t stop mooning over. And if she felt more herself as Ganymede, Regulus doesn’t think Orlando would have minded if his boyfriend stayed a man after all. After all, he spent the play looking at them the exact same way.

Regulus must be staring at the emptying stage with a deeply distraught expression, because James places his hand on his arm hesitantly, drawing him from his daze. “Reg?”

“Yeah,” Regulus says quickly, turning to him. “It was good. Great acting. Great.” James looks confused and not at all sure of how to respond to that.

“Are you okay? You were kind of glaring at the actors during the bow—“

“What was the point of Touchstone?” Regulus interrupts sharply. “Why did he have to be there? He didn’t help Rosalind and Celia at all, he was just there making dick jokes.”

“Doesn't every friend group have a guy who contributes nothing but dick jokes…” Regulus immediately thinks of Barty.

“Okay, fine. Maybe.” James laughs and puts an arm gently around his shoulders. He leans in slightly, nervous.

“I booked us a dinner reservation if you’re not too pissed over William Shakespeare’s shameless plot devices.”

“I’ll get over it and let you buy me dinner because I absolutely can’t cook.” James smiles, his eyes soft as he examines Regulus’ profile.

“Well, no one’s perfect.”

Regulus isn’t so sure about that anymore. He blames the boy looking at him the same way he did 5 years ago, when they both thought he was a girl.

Snakes and Adders

Regulus: I know you’re going to find out eventually so I’d rather tell you myself so I can threaten your lives

Regulus: I’ve had a terrible lapse of judgment and appear to be dating James Potter

Pandora: ?!!!

Pandora: You went on a date, was it fun? I’ll trust he behaved himself, did you say you’re actually dating?!!

Regulus: yes

Regulus: to all of that I think

Dorcas: Evan you owe me $10

Evan: shit

Barty: Reg

Barty: first of all congratulations

Barty: second of all

Barty: sweetheart

Barty: inquiring minds want to know

Barty: how big is it

Regulus: I haven’t seen it you absolute moron he took me to watch a Shakespeare play in the park we didn’t hook up

Evan: Shakespeare is cool

Pandora: romantic and murdery <}

Regulus: no murder unfortunately but the play was really good

Regulus: James was sweet

Barty: great yep now dm me and confirm it’s fucking huge

Dorcas: Barty shut the fuck up no one cares how big potters dick is

Pandora: I do actually

Evan: I mean

Evan: a little bit

Dorcas: LESBIAN GAY SOLIDARITY IS OFFICIALLY CANCELED

Pandora: I’m pan so

Evan: yeah that’s your name

Barty: ev sweetie that’s not what she means

Pandora: no wait he’s got a point

Pandora: did my parents know I’d be pan when they named me

Pandora: if I had been named heterodora would I be straight

Barty: who the fuck is naming their kid heterodora

Barty: also why am I discussing this when REG HAS OR WILL PEG JAMES POTTER

Regulus: would you like to scream that any louder

Dorcas: personally I’m thrilled for you reg he’s not the marauder I would pick but to each their own

Barty: you know who I would pick

Barty: if I were to fuck a marauder

Evan: why on earth have you planned this

Pandora: I would pick Lily but in a relationship sense not a hookup sense

Barty: mine is a hookup

Barty: a really hot hookup where he’s panting like a dog and I have a tight grip on that gorgeous hair and I can just hear him moan

Barty: I mean Sirius never shuts up so why would he be any different in bed

Regulus: I’m actually going to kill you

Barty: why you said you hated him plus it would be totally consensual

Regulus: HES STILL MY BROTHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Barty: and that’s how Sirius will respond to James dating you

Regulus:

Regulus: he hasn’t tried to see or talk to me in three years he doesn’t get a say in what I do

Barty: maybe

Barty: but he’s still your brother

The worst part is that he has a point.

Chapter Text

7:58 am
Future Husband

James: good morning beautiful

8:00 am

Regulus: if you ever initiate conversation with me before 9 on a Sunday morning again you will be permanently erased from my life

James: are you still in bed then?

James: I could join you

Regulus: hahaha hilarious

James: I was only mostly joking

James: I miss you

James: sorry

Regulus: shit James we had one date okay we aren’t fucking married

James: I know sorry I have a habit of romantic obsession

Regulus: really

Regulus: I hadn’t noticed

Regulus: at all

James: sarcasm

Regulus: yep

James: I’ll back off if you tell me to

Regulus: it’s fine James

Regulus: the attention is good for my ego if I’m being honest

Regulus: you’re a little much sometimes but someone caring about me is something I’ve always been in short supply of

James: who

Regulus: what?

James: who made you believe that

James: I have some people to punch on your behalf

Regulus: that won’t be necessary besides you already stuck your tongue down my throat in front of one of them

James: really

James: I distinctly recall someone deciding to crawl onto my lap and kiss me senseless in a public place

James: any of that ringing a bell sweetheart

Regulus: no but whoever did that seems really hot

James: oh you have no idea

James: he’s my wildest dream come true

James: I would do absolutely anything that boy wanted or needed

James: baby

Regulus:

Regulus: yeah

James: I just wanted to see if you’d answer to that

Regulus: fuck you Potter

James: joking sweetheart are you busy after class tomorrow

Regulus: depends how stupid the reason you’re asking is

James: my friend Marlene has a football game at the school if you’d be interested in watching with me. My friends have a bet going that you aren’t real so you’d be helping me out

Regulus: i do not wish to be associated with your uncouth friends

James: nobody uncouth just me and the girls

James: Lily, Mary, and Marlene specifically

Regulus: k. I’ll bring my girls too

James: ur girls?? should I be jealous?

Regulus: very much so

Regulus: see you tomorrow

James: I’ll pick you up from class

Regulus: I’m starting to suspect you’re trying to show me off Potter

James: could you blame me if I was?

James: it’s not often a perfect ten gives me the light of day

Regulus: if I squint you’re an eight

James: I’m crying

James: that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me Regulus

James is already waiting outside when Regulus’ last class ends and it’s all he can manage to not make a complete and utter fool of himself the minute he sights those dark curls through the crowd. The warning glare Regulus gives him when he has emerged into full view helps sober him only a bit.

“Stop looking stupidly happy,” he orders him.

“I’ll try but probably fail.” James does his best to keep a casual distance as they walk across campus to the football field, his hands tucked in his pockets to avoid reaching for Regulus’ hand. James is well aware that his love language is physical touch and Regulus’ is… definitely not that. No matter how obsessed James is with touching Regulus, personal space is very necessary in their relationship. James can always go tackle Sirius in a bear hug when he gets home to get it out of his system.

“So, how have you been?” He asks as they join a crowd of students filing toward the bleachers. Regulus gives him a judging look.

“It’s been two days, James.”

“It felt like forever without you.” Regulus looks back at him, his severe gaze visible softening.

“James—“

“James!” a familiar voice echoes loudly through the crowd. James raises a hand and waves excitedly.

“We’re over here, Mary!” She and Lily emerge from the crowd, smiling at James until their eyes catch on Regulus with momentary shock. Lily steps forward first, offering an eager handshake to the gorgeous boy at his side.

“You must be Regulus.” He turns to look up at James with utter contempt.

“Who’s Regulus?” he demands sharply. Lily’s eyes go wide as she and Mary look at James in horror. Regulus promptly bursts out laughing. James tries and fails to glare at him as Regulus shakes Lily’s hand with a grin.

“Sorry. I couldn’t resist.” Lily exhales with obvious relief.

“I can’t believe I fell for that. Lily Evans and this is Mary MacDonald.” Mary eyes Regulus like he’s a particular handsome figure from an obscure mythology.

“I can’t believe you’re real. James never stops talking about you, but I’m starting to understand why.”

“Oh? What does he say about me exactly?”

“He just calls you beautiful a million times a day, and won’t shut the fuck up about how much he loves your ass. I heard him whining to Sirius that every time he sees you he immediately gets a—“ James steps in between them quickly.

“Okay, that’s enough—“ James trails off in dread at Regulus' absolutely blank expression, grey eyes scanning the ground in either shock or righteous anger, and James can’t tell which. “Regulus…“

James nearly dies of a heart attack when Regulus breaks out laughing again, the sound bright and rough in the autumn air. His laugh sounds familiar, but James can’t place the similarity. He’s far too busy sighing in immense relief that the guy he likes doesn’t hate his guts. Or at least not any more than usual.

Sparkling grey eyes meet his with a merciless smirk to match. “Every time?” he asks softly. James tears his gaze away, burying his face in his hands. He can hear Mary laughing hysterically at him.

“MacDonald, I’m actually going to kill you.”

“I’d come visit you in prison, but I’m not sure if the orange jumpsuit would hide it—“ Regulus starts offhandedly. Lily’s laugh joins the mix as James grabs his boyfriend and covers his mouth with his palm. Regulus pushes against his chest playfully, his grin obvious below James’ fingers. James lowers his voice on instinct.

“I thought you’d be more sympathetic, considering you’re also a guy.” Regulus pulls James’ hand off his face, holding it captive in both hands.

“There is no fitting excuse for being constantly hard in my presence,” he informs him with a lift of his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” James concedes, leaning over Regulus. He cups his chin, tilting his face up with a hopeful smirk. “But I have a hunch that it’s a little bit mutual.” He leans down, joyously noting the tinge of red spreading across Regulus’ pale cheekbones. “Care to confirm, sweetheart?”

Regulus is saved from answering by Mary pulling him bodily out of James’ arms. She shoves a glittery fingernail in his face.

“Do not answer that question, handsome. Potter’s ego does not need inflating.” Regulus just nods, eyes wide in apparent fear of the curly-haired girl. Mary fixes a cutting glare on James. “I’m stealing your man, Potter.” She spins on her heel with a tight grip on Regulus’ arm. He gives James an apologetic shrug over his shoulder but shamelessly acquiesces to the force of nature that is Mary MacDonald.

Lily clears her throat once they’re safely out of earshot, drawing James’ fearful attention.

“If you ask me, he seemed into it.” James’ eyes widen, scanning Lily’s expression hopefully.

“Did he actually?” he asks with a blush. Lily rolls her eyes and pulls him by the arm toward the stands.

They find Regulus and Mary seated beside Dorcas and Pandora, all happily chatting about the game and their classes. As Lily steps up onto the riser, Pandora’s blue eyes fly up in alarm, their gazes meeting in sudden recognition. The group momentarily falls silent, until Pandora finally cuts through the tension.

“Hi. I like your coat, I mean, you look pretty. Always. You always look pretty.” James stifles his grin at the obvious blush on Lily’s cheeks.

“Thanks,” she replies haltingly, sitting down beside Pandora with a shy smile. “I like your hat.”

“I knitted it,” Pandora exclaims brightly. “I’ll make you one. What’s your favourite color?” James steps past the girls, exchanging a knowing look with Mary before joining Regulus at the end of the row.

“5 bucks says they’ll kiss before the weekend,” Regulus leans over James to say softly. James whispers in his ear.

“You’re on.”

“So…” Dorcas turns to Regulus judgementally, “Three weeks ago you vehemently hated James Potter. What’s changed? Have you bought your wedding dress yet—“

“We agreed I’m wearing the dress actually,” James informs her cheerfully. Regulus huffs beside him but his posture seems to soften a little.

“Am I the maid of honour?” Mary asks James hopefully.

“Uh, no? That’s Sirius obviously.”

“I hope the bridesmaids' dresses are hideous, then.” Mary looks to Regulus questioningly. “Wait. Have you met Sirius yet?” Regulus suddenly looks uncomfortable at his side and James is about to interrupt when Dorcas beats him to it.

“Look, there’s Marlene!” Mary scans the field eagerly, waving wildly when she spots her friend.

“Marls! We’re up here!”

Marlene’s eyes drift over the stands, landing on Mary and then to Dorcas beside her. Her face lights up and she gives a cheerful wave before she is called away as the game prepares to start.

James’ attention is quickly caught up in the action as Marlene’s team, the lions, clash with the visiting players, closely matching each other for points throughout the first quarter. At some point Regulus shifts against James’ side, their touching sleeves suddenly deeply distracting .

“What position does Marlene play?” he asks, grey eyes fixed intently in the field.

“She’s a cornerback,” Dorcas answers automatically. James glances at her.

“Do you play?” He hears Regulus laugh.

“Nope. She just likes girls who do.” Dorcas reaches over Mary to shove him as James focuses on the lions enact a particularly risky forward play. It pays off with a touchdown and the fans in red break out in applause, cheers echoing through the stands.

“Is it just me or is James acting like a dad at his kid’s soccer game?” Mary asks.

“I mean, it’s Marlene’s team and I’m kind of the dad friend,” he attempts to defend himself. He spots Regulus’ amused smile out of the corner of his eye.

“No. You’re the mom friend. Lily’s the dad friend. This is common knowledge.”

“What do you mean Lily’s—“ James looks down the row, only to find Lily and Pandora conspicuously missing. “Uh. Where are they?”

“You owe me 5 bucks,” Regulus says.

“We don’t know that they’re kissing!”

“Pay up or I’m dumping you.”

“Okay!” James fishes out his wallet and presses a five dollar bill into Regulus’ waiting hand. He puts it in his pocket with a victorious grin before leaning up to kiss James’ cheek. Which is definitely more than worth five dollars.

“Would you look at that,” Dorcas deadpans, watching them closely.

“Damn. Get it, Potter.” Regulus flips both girls off before tucking himself close against James. James eagerly wraps an arm around the other boy, risking a quick kiss to his dark curls.

Regulus’ proximity prohibits James from moving too much during the more stress-inducing plays, but he does find himself anxiously brushing his thumb up and down Regulus’ coat. He forces himself to stop.

“You don’t play anymore?” Regulus asks him quietly, pale fingers idly playing with the cuff of James’ sleeve. James gives him a soft smile.

“Nope. I stopped in high school.”

“Why?” James finds himself taken aback, but it’s an innocent enough question. Regulus more than deserves an honest answer.

“My senior year I got a three day expulsion because I was in a fight. There was some argument over whether I would be able to rejoin the team, but in the end I didn’t.” He’d wanted Regulus to keep thinking he was truly as kind as he pretends to be. He knows that wouldn’t be fair. Regulus deserves better to know, and he deserves better than James. Still, it hurts. After all, it would break James’ heart to watch him leave.

“James?” A voice cuts through his thoughts, drawing him back to the cute boy holding his hand. James pulls his hand from his grasp with a sudden wave of guilt. Regulus looks more dismayed than angry.

“I was a bully to some people in school,” James divulges guiltily. “I still— I’m not always a good person. I try to hide it—“

“Potter. Would you look at me?” He risks meeting Regulus’ matter-of-fact grey eyes. “You never claimed to be perfect. People change and grow and make mistakes. That was years ago, James. Hell, you wouldn’t even recognize who I was in high school.” As he speaks, James finds the ability to breathe. He takes Regulus’ hand gently, like he’s afraid of breaking him.

“I would recognize you. You’re not someone I could see and forget, Regulus Arcturus.” The hint of a secretive smirk marks his pale face. Like he knows something James doesn’t. Suddenly, a pair of manicured fingers snap in front of them both.

“Hey. Love birds. It’s halftime.” James looks up sharply.

“Oh shit. Are we winning?” Regulus’ uncommon laugh brings a smile to James’ face as he tugs the other boy gently to his feet. Dorcas has already pushed her way through the crowd to the field and tucked herself under Marlene’s arm. James will be happy to report that Sirius’ stake on Remus appears secure. “We should probably go find Pandora and Lily.”

“We might regret it,” Mary sighs.

Eventually, they do find the missing girls, who someone broke into the nearby athletics building and were happily listening to each other’s Spotify playlists for the last hour, the game forgotten. They do return to the bleachers with their friends, but stay close together, their eyes meeting every so often as if afraid of losing one another in the briefest interim. Mary grumbles sorely about being a seventh wheel as Dorcas returns to her seat.

The second half of the game slows down, giving James opportunity to talk with the beautiful boy at his side. Regulus attempts to question whether James would ever consider playing football again, leading James to shift the topic as quickly as possible. He knows Regulus is far too smart not to have noticed, but he allows James his escape. Regulus is hesitant to share about his own hobbies, but Dorcas and Pandora helpfully interject to gush about his achievements through the years. Regulus was valedictorian, head of his high school debate club, and placed silver at a state figure skating championship. He scowls defensively and threatens to eviscerate his friends, but James is quick to defend them and praise his obvious talents. Regulus seems relieved when the other team starts making a comeback, drawing James’ fervent attention back to the game.

“Defense!” James joins in on the chant as Marlene lines up with the player she is blocking, gluing herself to her side as the opposing play begins. The other player is fast, darting away from Marlene with a quick turn that puts her in clear view of the quarterback. The quarterback sees the opening and throws the ball right to her teammate, whose fingers brush the leather before Marlene appears behind her, snatching the ball deftly from her grasp. Marlene is swiftly tackled by the other team, but the lions now hold the offensive. With only minutes left in the game, the lions’ victory is secure.

At the game’s swift close, James, Regulus, and the girls hurry down to the field to find Marlene. She happily accepts a hug each from Mary, Dorcas, Lily, and finally Pandora, even though James isn’t sure Marlene and Pandora have met before today. Regulus sticks firmly to James’ side but does offer Marlene a solemn congratulatory handshake. She leans closer to be heard over the crowd.

“You’re Cas’ friend, right?” Regulus nods back at her.

“That, and James’ boyfriend.” James freezes in place as Marlene raises a suggestive eyebrow at him.

“Finally won over scary finance boy, then? Congrats, Potter.”

“I—“ James thinks he might be on the verge of tears although Regulus looks perfectly casual about his statement. His expression displays a hint of judgement directed at James’ shock. “You’re my boyfriend?” James echoes, eyes wide. Regulus sighs and rolls his eyes.

“Yeah…” James yanks his boyfriend into his arms. Regulus’ grey eyes widen, but he doesn’t struggle against James’ tight embrace of his ribs. Eventually he raises one hand to hesitantly pat the top of James’ hair. “Physical affection. Delightful. Can it stop now?” James instantly releases his hold, registering the amused expressions of the girls still watching this exchange.

“Yes. Sorry. You just—“ James can’t wipe the smile of his face as he meets Regulus’ eyes, sparkling with something like fondness. “This is the best day of my life.“

“This is delightful, really, but I’d like to go,” Marlene interrupts, her arms slung around Dorcas and Mary’s shoulders.

“I agree,” Lily says, taking Pandora’s hand and pulling her forward. “Supper to celebrate?” James turns to Regulus.

“Is that okay with you?” He folds his arms disinterestedly.

“I don’t care what you do, Potter.”

“I meant for you to go with us, sweetheart.” Grey eyes soften, like the invitation caught him off guard.

“Yeah, alright.” James flashes him a soft smile.

“Thanks, love. We’d better catch up.” James turns to push his way after the girls and feels a slender hand slide into his. James pulls it up to his mouth and kisses Regulus’ knuckles without looking at him.

“Reg?”

“Yeah?” comes his voice, softly from beside him. James turns on his heel and plants a kiss on his temple that has his brand new boyfriend blushing. “I’m lucky to have you.” James hardly hears the whisper that comes a moment later.

“So am I.”

Chapter Text

Snakes and Adders

Barty: Reg

Barty: are you under Potter yet I’m curious

Reg: he’s not even here yet shut the fuck up

Dorcas: Marlene and I had sex this morning if that helps

Reg: why would that help anything

Dorcas: one of us has to get some

Pandora: ignore them Reg have fun with James

Barty: wear something slutty you’ll thank me later

Regulus closes his phone with an angry sigh and sets it under him on the couch. He stares down at his hands for a moment until a knock sounds at the door. Regulus swings it open to find James beaming, holding a grocery bag in one hand and a bouquet in the other.

“Hey boyfriend.” Regulus rolls his eyes despite his inner wave of affection.

“What’s the stuff for?” He steps back to let James step into his apartment, wide brown eyes scanning the space eagerly. He kicks off his sneakers and sets his groceries on the kitchen island.

“Those are for you.” He hands Regulus the flowers and he doesn’t have the heart to complain. “Have you eaten yet?” Regulus fishes a vase out of his cupboard.

“No.”

“Good. My mom promised her chicken pulao would make any man love me.” Regulus hesitates at that statement, momentarily abandoning the flowers to lean against the island opposite James.

“I… Did you tell her about me?” Regulus feels suddenly self conscious about the question but James’ smile just grows wider.

“Yep. My parents can’t wait to meet you. You’re my first boyfriend, so my dad might jokingly threaten you a bit, but they’ll both love you, I promise.”

“I’m sorry I’ll never bring you home to my parents.” A hint of hurt crosses James’ face before he can quell it, as accommodating as always.

“That’s okay.”

“I’m not ashamed of you,” Regulus corrects quickly. “My parents are bigots, and I don’t want to expose you to that—“

“Regulus.” James takes his elbow where he meets Regulus on his side of the island. James cautiously reaches to cup his face, soft brown eyes meeting his intently. Regulus stands stiffly, like he’s never been held gently before. “You don’t have to apologize, okay? You don’t get to choose who your parents are.”

That’s the funny thing, though. Sirius did. At 16, he packed his bags and moved in with the Potters, and here in James’ arms, Regulus can’t begin to blame him. If only one of them could have experienced unconditional love, he’s glad it was Sirius.

Regulus is not nearly intoxicated enough to start thinking about his absent brother. With a lack of other drugs, he seizes James’ lips, though the other man is inconsiderate enough not to let the kiss deepen. James is smart enough to know when he’s being used as a distraction. Regulus pulls away slowly, more guilty than disappointed.

“I’m sorry.” James is still holding his face, looking at him like he’s something precious. It might be sweet if Regulus didn’t suspect that James believes he’s breakable.

“You don’t need to apologize, Regulus. We can talk about it, or we can not, and I’ll be here either way. You don’t need to hide anything, okay? I promise I’m here for the real you.” Regulus steps forward and tucks his chin over James’ shoulder before he can do something stupid like cry. James tips his head down to nuzzle his hair, a soft, pretty smile no doubt on his face.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Regulus finally mumbles into his shoulder.

“Alright. Am I more useful to you for cuddles right now or making you dinner?”

“We should—“ He pulls himself from James’ grasp, embarrassed. “I promise I’m not usually this pathetic. I’m kind of a terrible cook but I can help if you give me directions?”

“That would be great. Can you handle starting the rice?”

“Direct instructions, James. Assume I know nothing.” James trims and puts the flowers in water as Regulus pulls out cookware he didn’t know he owned. He supposes that Gilderoy didn’t take it all before the whole lock-changing fiasco. James is exceedingly patient in instructing Regulus on how to wash and soak the rice. He is rewarded with a kiss on the forehead before James turns away to start the pulao over the stove. By the time Regulus has completed his task, James has finished adding the spices and is placing the lid back on the simmering chicken. James catches his eye and holds out an arm that Regulus hesitantly tucks himself under. James holds him close, leaning down to nuzzle his ear.

“We have about 20 minutes until we need to add the rice.”

“Yeah? You want to see my room?” James laughs lightly, their noses brushing.

“I think that would result in me getting distracted and our food burning—“

“Oh, so now I’m a distraction?” Regulus asks incredulously. James just grins.

“Yeah. Sorry, baby.” Regulus huffs as James stirs the pulao, the fragrant smell already filling the kitchen. He goes to perch on a stool at the island and James joins him a moment later. “So were you on the lookout for a trophy husband to save you from a reliance on takeout, or—“

“Ha ha. My family had a cook growing up, and when I moved out my ex did all the cooking. I’ve only been at risk of contracting scurvy for two months now.”

“Eat some oranges. They sell them ready-made and everything.” Regulus looks to James, more impressed than offended.

“You know, you have this whole golden retriever act going, but you can be a sarcastic little shit when you put your mind to it.”

“No one will ever believe you, baby,” James whispers, his hand running its way up his thigh. Regulus just sighs, his eyes pressing closed.

“That’s supposed to be my line.” James wears a stupid smirk as he leaves to attend to the stove, examining the food approvingly.

“Won’t be too long now.”

“You can handle it yourself.” Regulus rests his head on the counter. “My work here is done.” He closes his eyes and listens to the domestic clatter of James in his kitchen. A lull occurs in the noise before James gently nudges his shoulder.

“Regulus? Supper’s ready.” He grumbles quietly even as he stands to join James at his table, two plates filled opposite each other. It’s strange, having another man in his apartment. He doesn’t mind the feeling.

The pulao, he finds out quickly, is fantastic. He narrowly stops himself from making an embarrassing noise of approval, but he can tell from James’ smug expression that he knows. Regulus scrapes his plate clean despite the generous portion James had allotted him.

“Your mom was right.” James glances up with a distinct deer-in-headlights look of confusion. Regulus clears his throat, a bit awkwardly. “That recipe will make men fall over themselves for you.” A bright, beautiful smile tears across James’ face, brown eyes sparkling playfully.

“Oh? What will they do if I do all the dishes too?” Regulus feels himself blush but can’t stop the words that exit his mouth.

“Anything you want.” Brown eyes widen in shock and James trips to his feet, enthusiastically grabbing their plates.

“I’m taking that deal.”

“James—“ Regulus storms to the kitchen after him, feeling flattered and exasperated at once. James spins around eagerly to face him.

“Do you have Tupperware for leftovers?” Regulus points to the cupboard automatically and James rushes to fish out an appropriately sized container.

“I— Just let me do something,” Regulus interjects helplessly. James turns and eyes him critically.

“You want to help?”

“Yes—“ His breath rushes out as James’ steady hands grasp his waist. Regulus is too shocked to resist being led backward, the small of his back brushing the edge of the island. “James—” he whines, momentarily startled as his boyfriend’s hands tighten on his waist and he lifts Regulus, setting him gently on the counter. James steps back with a decisive nod.

“Sit there and look pretty.” Regulus’ skin burns where it was separated from its contact with James far too soon. He feels overwhelmingly cheated.

“Fuck you, Potter,” he snaps venomously. James just hums and turns to the dishes with a merciless wink.

“Another time, baby.”

Regulus is fully pouting when James has finished cleaning his kitchen. He fights to ignore James with difficulty as he wedges himself in between his legs. Regulus suppresses a shiver as one finger traces slowly up his thigh.

“Are you mad at me?” James asks him.

“Yes.”

“This is a very nice angle. I’ll have to get on my knees to see it more often.” Regulus crosses his arms uncooperatively. His resolve threatens to give as James winds his hands around his waist. “What do you think, baby?”

“I know what you’re trying to do, James,” he says harshly. The other boy peers innocently upward with those pretty, melted chocolate eyes.

“You do? Is it working?” He tugs Regulus forward against him, still gazing up at him with wide, adoring eyes. The worst part is James looks good from this angle too. Fuck that messy hair. He’s right. He would look so pretty on his knees. James gives him a blinding grin, like he can read that thought burning across his face. “I put you up there, I think it’s only fair I take you down.”

There are many times Regulus has despaired over his type being jocks, but this is not one of them. Right now he is looking at James’ rippling muscles and calculating just how long his boyfriend could hold his weight while thoroughly distracted. He is well aware that he is letting the intrusive thoughts win.

“Until you drop me, I’m all yours.” Before he can see that thought register on James’ face, he winds his legs around his waist and pushes himself off the counter. James catches him on pure instinct judging by the surprise on his face. Oh, Regulus really likes jocks.

He winds his hands into James’ unruly hair and leans down to kiss him, smiling into his mouth when he feels James’ grip tighten on his thighs. He breaks away momentarily, failing to hide his grin as he presses his forehead to his boyfriend’s. James sneaks a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“You are a genius and I’m never letting you go.” Regulus scoffs, but his quickly beating heart isn’t really into the act.

“I’m not that light.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve picked up backpacks that heavier than you, sweetheart.”

“What the hell do you carry in your backpack?”

“Uh, I’m placing a boundary in our relationship that I will not answer that question. Sorry.” James readjusts his weight, which also results in his hands shifting higher up his thighs. He gives James a distinct look.

“You really do love my ass, huh?” James’ gaze becomes suddenly untraceable, but his smirk is a sure enough answer.

“It’s not the only thing I love about you…”

“Choose your next words carefully, Potter—”

“Hello and welcome to my Ted Talk on why my boyfriend has the most beautiful eyes in the universe,” James whispers, leaning in close enough to make Regulus blush. “They’re the prettiest silver color and I swear there’s actual stardust mixed in them. His eyes are always changing, too, with whatever’s going on in that brilliant mind of his. My heart stops whenever they light up. Especially when it’s me he’s looking at. Someone less obsessed with him might tell you his eyes are grey, but when the light catches them right, you can see all the specks of green and blue. He always thinks I’m staring at him, but I’m just trying to commit every detail to memory.”

“James,” he says with a lump in his throat. “Put me down, please?” James nods immediately and sets him down gently, pulling his hands from his body to hang listlessly at his sides. Regulus misses the contact as soon as it’s gone but James looks downright ashamed.

“Sorry if I got carried away. I kind of—“ He swipes a hand anxiously through his hair, and Regulus wants to grab it and press it to his lips. Place it on his waist or his hip or the back of his thigh and promise it’s okay. “I know you’re not comfortable with touch so I really shouldn’t push you like that—“

“Potter,” Regulus says sharply, drawing James’ anxious attention. God, he’s such a sweet, clueless boy. How to get the point across…

Regulus grabs James by the collar with one hand and shoves his other in his boyfriend’s back jeans pocket, pulling them sharply together. He can hear James’ beating heart as he pulls him down to his level.

“This is how you’re allowed to touch me,” he whispers, voice low. James looks askance, like he may have won the lottery but doesn’t want to get his hopes up. Regulus softens his voice but doesn’t loosen his hold. “Relationships have to go both ways or they don’t work. You’re very considerate but there are things you need too. If I don’t like it, I will tell you. Please don’t apologize for wanting me.” James hesitantly places his hands around his waist. Brown eyes flick down to his lips. Regulus freezes in place “Go ahead, James.”

He kisses Regulus, tentatively at first, and then all at once, their teeth nearly colliding as Regulus is pushed back. James yanks his hips forward against him, his pulse rocketing at the contact through their clothes. James doesn’t give him time to spiral as licks his teeth, the kiss turning open-mouthed and filthy. James hums as he pulls away slowly, Regulus squirming until his scrutinizing brown eyes. He lowers his mouth to his jaw, the exhale of his warm breath making something in Regulus’ gut flip. He puts a hand on James’ chest.

“Wait,” he says and James instantly pulls away.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” Regulus assures him quickly. James’ pupils are blown wide, flickering between his eyes and his lips intently. Regulus takes his hands, guiding them to his hips as he walks them backward to the wall. He looks up at James with a permissive smile. “There. Now my knees can’t buckle.” James looks back at him with the fondest expression.

“You’re adorable.”

“Thanks, now kiss me please—” James eagerly cuts him off with a strong kiss and their bodies lock back together like magic. Regulus fists his hands in James’ sweater, pulling him closer as he tips his head back, exposing the line of his neck. James kisses the underside of his jaw, fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I really like you,” James whispers. Regulus swallows, comforted by the gentle warmth of his boyfriend surrounding him.

“I really like you, too,” he admits, feeling self conscious until James smiles at him like Regulus’ affection is the reason he wakes up every morning. He’s sure it’s not, James has an apartment full of friends, parents who love him, and a personality that no one can resist the gravitational pull of. Regulus had worried that James treated him like something breakable. The truth is astounding and so much harder to believe when James is holding him like someone he wants. James has decided that Regulus is his to protect, and that’s a reality that will keep him up at night.

Chapter Text

James underestimated just how easy it would be to love Regulus.

For a guy who tripped over him on the sidewalk, and was ready to propose, that’s saying a lot.

Not all days are good ones. Sometimes James will say something unintentionally stupid and Regulus will glare at him, refuse to talk to him, or simply walk out the door. Sometimes Regulus will be stressed over classes, and won’t answer his texts for days. Sometimes when James knocks on his door, he’ll only let him inside for a few minutes in exchange for notes from their poetry class, or takeout, or a silent hug. It breaks James’ heart the first time he sees him cry. He knows Regulus doesn’t want him to ask why.

Other times, Regulus is as invulnerable as ever. He’ll roll his eyes at James, ignore his glances during class, leave him on read, text back late at night, shove him lightly in the hall, let him sit with his friends at lunch, blush when he calls him pretty, invite him over and let him pick the movie, kiss James, curl up on his lap, fall asleep right there on the couch. Blink blearily awake and order James to stay after he carries him to bed. Swear angrily at James’ retreating form when he assures him that he’d love to, but he can’t.

He’s better than James ever imagined. He’s so mean all the time. He’s the sweetest person James has ever met. They coincide, they exist in layers, and James loves every facet. There’s so much to Regulus, and James wants to see it all and then write a book. Not a scientific study, because he promised. James is picturing a love letter, the kind that spans a lifetime.

In order to spend time with Regulus, he ends up spending a lot of time with his boyfriend’s friend group. Honestly, they’re growing on James. Pandora is the sweetest, always including him and initiating small talk, genuinely interested in getting to know him. Dorcas is colder, but obviously clever, with a dry sense of humor that reminds him of Remus. Evan takes the longest to warm up to James, and it’s clearly because he is fiercely protective of Regulus. He’s attuned to Regulus’ moods more than anyone and he’s the first person Regulus looks to when he’s making a joke. Regulus has his own Sirius, and James is trying hard to be thankful for that.

One night at a hangout, Barty pulled James aside and extended an open invitation for a foursome with him and Evan. So they approve of James in one aspect at least. For the time being, he does not plan on taking them up on it.

But James has only grown more obsessed with Regulus the more he sees. Which is what has him taking risks like inviting his introverted boyfriend to social functions.

4:19 pm
Future Husband

James: hi sweetheart <} how was your day?

Regulus: fine what do you want

James: Do you have plans for Halloween? We’re having a party at my parents house and I’d like to have you there

Regulus: …

Regulus: parties aren’t really my thing

James: I know. I thought it might help that it’s my place? We can ditch and go upstairs if it’s too much

Regulus: won’t you have a party to host?

James: Sirius can host it’s his house too. Besides you’re more important Reg

Regulus: fine

Regulus: do I have to wear a costume

James: no but please do cause I think you’ll look cute…

Regulus: what if I’m a hyper realistic blood on Halloween kind of guy

James: I’m picturing it now and it’s hot…

Regulus: do you think entirely with your dick?

James: dick is second my heart is always first

Regulus: hmph

Regulus: send me the time and address

James: I could come over rn and tell you in person

Regulus: nice try I’m at the library

James: smuggle you in a coffee and a cinnamon bun?

Regulus: wow you are good for something <}

James is a fool for that boy.

Halloween comes quickly and yet far too slow, complete with sending wide swaths of invites, frantic costume preparations, and a long parental lecture directed at James and Sirius before the house is left entirely in their hands. Then there is the amalgamation of decorations, games, playlists, snacks, and an exorbitant amount of booze. James is already exhausted by the time he finds his living room full of costumed partygoers. Marlene slings an arm around his shoulders as Sirius excitedly chats up their guests. Remus is actually reading a book on the couch.

“Is your boy coming?” Marlene’s careless fashion sense always takes an annual leave on Halloween, as she is currently dressed in the spitting image of Pirate King Elizabeth Swann. Every year, the Marauders intend to have matching costumes and then they don’t. They could not look like a more eclectic collective tonight if they tried.

“He said he would be here.” James is trying not to be consumed by excitement at the thought. Having his boyfriend at his party seems like a step forward in their relationship, doesn’t it? And maybe he loves showing Regulus off to everyone and anyone, sue him. Marlene just grins knowingly.

“I know. Cas told me he was stressed over his costume. Lily invited Pandora too, so they’ll likely all show up together.”

“Great,” James declares before staring around his living room forlornly.

“Do you want to wait for him at the door, Potter?”

“Yes, please.” James and Marlene take up residence at the front door, eventually joined by Lily, dressed as a woman with a hole through her abdomen from some cult-classic movie. James is newly alarmed every time he glances at her. Dozens of people file in: friends, classmates, and friends of classmates he’s never seen in his life. Marlene receives bruising hugs from half a dozen girls who are no doubt her football team. A few nervous nerd types hug Lily and stare at James and Marlene in horror. James is laughing at some stranger’s joke when a strong arm wraps around his waist. His breathe catches until he recognizes the man grinning at him.

“Frank!” James throws his arms around him, and Frank laughs, still holding his waist. Alice rolls her eyes at them before moving to hug Lily, a six-pack of beer in one hand.

“Careful, Longbottom,” Marlene smirks. “Potter’s boyfriend might knock your teeth in when he gets here.” Frank raises a suggestive eyebrow at James that instantly makes his face flush.

“A boyfriend, huh?” Frank leans in with a devious grin. “Is he bigger than me, Potter?” James is sure he’s blushing crimson.

“He’s 5’7 and half your weight. Bet he could still beat you up though.” Frank laughs again, giving him a wink as he pulls away.

“I’m sure he could. Introduce me later, alright?” Alice links her arm through her boyfriend’s.

“Thief,” she whispers to James good-naturedly as they turn away. James can hear Mary’s excited scream as she spots Alice. He catches Lily’s knowing look.

“Was Frank the pan awakening?” Lily asks.

“No. That would be Remus.” Both Lily and Marlene grin gleefully at him. “Shit. Don’t tell Sirius.” Before they can reply, Pandora steps through the door with her head on backwards. James screams. Lily grabs his arm, laughing hysterically.

“It’s fake, Potter!” She pulls Pandora into a hug as Dorcas and Regulus step inside. And then James can’t focus on anything else.

His eyes are too busy drinking in the sight of a beautiful, silver-eyed boy in a black suit and a plastic rain coat, the wires of a Walkman threading into his pocket and a nervous smile on his pale, angled face.

“Hi,” James tells him, suddenly feeling very large and awkward. Regulus slips his nimble-fingered hands in his coat pockets, an attractive smirk appearing at James’ expense.

“Did you miss me?” By way of answer, James tackles him, almost knocking him off his feet by surprise rather than force. James buries his nose in black curls that always smell like eucalyptus as Regulus laughs at his behaviour, immediately accepting of James’ suffocating embrace. “I’ll take that as a yes.” James leans down to kiss him lightly.

“You look amazing. American psycho, right?” Regulus seems pleased at the recognition.

“Yeah. Sorry there’s no blood, darling. I was too busy turning my friend’s body backwards.” James finally draws his eyes away from Regulus to glimpse Pandora, still terrifying despite her genuine smile, and Dorcas, dressed as Will Turner to Marlene’s Elizabeth. Regulus squints at James. “I can’t say I understand the deer.”

“Oh.” James suddenly remembers his long-anticipated gimmick involving the antlers on his head. He grabs his boyfriend’s hand and pulls him into the house. “Peter!”

“Kitchen, James!” Peter’s voice returns. James dutifully leads Regulus toward the kitchen.

“You’re going to love this, Reggie,” he promises excitedly. His boyfriend’s eyes widen at the sight of Peter mixing vodka into his soda, dressed as a giant dill pickle. James throws an arm around Peter’s shoulders triumphantly. “Tell me you love it.” Regulus looks between the two of them, stubbornly unimpressed.

“You’re a buck and a pickle.”

“Think about it, baby. He’s a dill. I’m a doe.”

“You’re a buck,” Regulus insists.

“I’m not sure you’re getting the point—“

“You have antlers,” he informs him. “In most species, only male deer grow antlers. Hence, you are not a doe, so the two of you are not a dildo.” James is momentarily stunned by that simple tear down of his reasoning.

“You might be reading into it a little.”

“And you clearly did zero research.” James has heard the term pick your battles. He knows that he would lose this one. He worries that will be the case for all future arguments with Regulus.

“Okay. You’re right. My costume was a badly planned disaster.”

“Speak for yourself,” Peter interjects. “I did my half just fine, thank you.”

“I agree that it’s Potter’s fault.” James gives his boyfriend a warning glance and steps around the counter, reaching for that waist to pull him in. Peter raises a suggestive eyebrow at James. He grins back.

“Love, this is Peter. Pete, this is Regulus. My boyfriend,” James says proudly, stepping close and tucking a strand of dark hair beside his ear.

“I’m glad someone is finally calling James out in his shit,” Peter tells Regulus.

“I’m glad someone is willing to have a couple's costume with him because I’m definitely not.”

“Fair. I’m not sure if James should consider a Patrick Bateman costume a red flag, but I endorse it anyway.”

“Thanks, Peter. Mind if I pour a drink of my own? I have a feeling I’ll need it.” The next thing he knows, Regulus has hopped up on a stool at the counter, chatting freely to Peter as he pours himself a rum and coke. He mostly ignores James, but that means he doesn’t protest when he sits next to him and plays with his hair.

“Hey, Chalamet!” Marlene enthusiastically takes the stool on the other side of Regulus, setting a stack of shot glasses on the counter. Dorcas trails behind her, giving Regulus an apologetic glance. “You do shots?”

“Sure,” Regulus answers, seemingly unfazed. Marlene grins and pours for the group, counting them down from three. James hesitates, waiting to make sure Regulus successfully downs his before throwing back his own. By the time he’s finished coughing, Marlene is ushering the others toward the back door.

“Come on, Potter, we’re playing croquet!”

“How drunk is she?” Regulus mumbles under his breath.

“Completely sober before that shot,” Dorcas informs him. The backyard yields an erratically organized croquet course. James takes one look at Lily and Pandora’s bare shoulders and charges back into the house to grab them jackets. Lily rolls her eyes when he hands them over.

“Thanks, mom.”

“Alright! Who’s playing?” Mary yells, dressed like Jack Sparrow and standing beside Marlene. Whatever James was expecting tonight it was not pirates organizing a game of croquet. Pandora opts out of playing, though she promises to serve as Lily’s strategist. Regulus divulges that he’s content to watch, pretty hands wrapped around his red solo cup. His cheeks are flushed, from the alcohol or the cold. Maybe that’s why, before James’ first turn, he asks for a good luck kiss.

Regulus huffs but dutifully rises on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. James distractedly takes his first shot, barely registering when his ball goes through the first wicket.

“Prongs is cheating,” Peter accuses. James turns to grin at Regulus.

“You’re my good luck charm, love.” Pandora whispers something to Regulus as he fails to hide his blush. James takes his continuation shot toward the next wicket.

His next turn, James strides over to his boyfriend.

“I need another kiss, babe.”

“Ask Peter.”

“Absolutely not,” James’ friend interjects.

“He’s not lucky.” James tucks that adorable strand of hair behind Regulus’ ear. “Just you.” Regulus stubbornly tries to scowl at him.

“It won’t work,” he says, before planting a spiteful kiss on his lips.

James lines up his shot this time. He also might pray a little.

“Yes!” he yells as his ball goes through the next wicket.

“Magic boyfriends are against the rules!” Mary yells back at him. Marlene grumbles in agreement and begins her turn with the obvious intent of hitting his ball off course.

James’ ball has been knocked far out the way by his next turn, but his optimism has not faded. Regulus kisses him with a soft hum and James skillfully hits Dorcas’ ball, rebounding near the wicket. On his extra shot, he’s back through the wicket.

His luck does not waver throughout the game, and his good luck charm’s kisses grow sweeter and deeper, much to the overall disapproval of his competitors. Lily, to her credit, just laughs as Regulus shoves his hands under James’ hoodie mid-kiss. It would be a more pleasant experience if the boy’s hands weren’t freezing cold.

James’ swift victory is met with a chorus of boos, and being violently yanked down into a rather handsy kiss. James does not mind in the least.

“Get a room!” Marlene yells, disgusted. Lily gives James a wink on her way inside, Pandora giggling beside her.

“I love you, baby, but this is bordering on public indecency,” James whispers against his lips. Regulus pulls away urgently, eyes panicked and lips bruised red. “Hey, it’s okay,” James tries to comfort him, caught off guard by his shock. “What did I say?”

“You love me?” Oh. He finally said it out loud. James sends Regulus a fearless smile.

“Yes. I love you, Regulus.” He looks at James, then looks down. Sighs. Crosses the distance and takes his hand.

“We need to talk.” James tries not to let his emotions spiral.

“We can talk.”

“Privately.” Oh. James gives a probably unnatural smile of assent. They step inside the house, still linked at the hands. James does his best to politely brush off friends and acquaintances who try to talk to him on their way to the stairs. Finally, they reach his room. Regulus takes off his plastic rain coat and sits on the edge of the bed, an arm’s length from James. He braces himself to feel hurt. He’ll take anything, as long as he can keep him. “I’m sorry. You’re a really good guy, James. The best I’ve ever dated. But, um… I don’t think you should love me. So you should stop now.” James patiently waits for his turn to speak.

“Sorry but I don’t think I will. You see, you’re also the best person I’ve ever dated and anyway, love isn’t a choice. You’re not homophobic, are you?” Regulus stares at him as if he’s planning his murder.

“It wasn’t a suggestion—“

“Trust me, Regulus, I would obey any other order—“

“James—“ His voice cuts off with a finger to his lips, wide grey eyes watching James in apparent disbelief. He quickly moves his hand to Regulus’ arm, forcing his gaze up from those soft lips.

“I’m not trying to undermine your authority, but I love you and that’s not going to change easily. You don’t have to say it back, now or ever, but I’d appreciate it if you let me stay by your side. Hopefully forever.” James gives him a small, hopeful smile. Regulus closes his eyes, his exhale shifting the air between them.

“You really do want to marry me.” It’s a fact, not a question.

“Absolutely. Can you blame me?” He moves closer to Regulus carefully, giving him plenty of opportunity to pull away. James brings a hand to his cheek and he leans in, expression softening. So unbelievably beautiful. “I think you might be my wildest dream-come-true.” Regulus stiffens. “What’s wrong, love?” He takes his hands slowly, holding them in his lap, eyes avoidant.

“I purposefully kept something secret from you. Does that change your mind?” That caught James off guard. He’s distinctly sure that there is a right answer to this question.

“I mean, you aren’t required to tell me— I guess it depends what it is,” he manages. And then waits, until Regulus meets his eye and answers.

“I’m trans.” Not what James expected. He’s so relieved it wasn’t something bad. Not that he would actually leave Regulus ever… Shit, he looks scared. Oh, he thinks James is upset at him—

“That’s totally fine,” he blurts, then immediately regrets it. “I mean, I’m glad you wanted to tell me. But you wouldn’t have had to. It’s not something you owed me.” He knows he messed that up terribly, but Regulus looks overwhelmingly relieved.

“You’re my boyfriend. There was a chance it would change how you feel about me—“

“Nope. I love your intelligence, your sense of humour, your smile, when you pretend you don’t know me in public, when you’re in a cuddly mood and inevitably wind up on my lap, your hair, your pretty eyes, when you wear fancy clothes with mismatched socks, when you rant about something I don’t understand but you look so happy I could listen to you talk all night. Anything else is a hell of a bonus.” Regulus smiles at him, amused if nothing else.

“Thanks, James.” Regulus is the one who closes the distance, moving forward between James’ legs, fingers running over his hoodie. “You really don’t mind?”

“Mind what? Dating the smartest, handsomest man on this planet?!” James leans over Regulus, a laugh of surprise slipping from his boyfriend’s mouth as he drops him gently onto the mattress. James looks down at him triumphantly, hands on either side of the smirking boy looking up at him. “Bet I could do a push-up to kiss you.”

“If you fall on me—“ The sound of a throat clearing sends both their heads swiveling toward the door. Frank stands there, looking both sheepish and fucking gleeful.

“I can go if this is a bad time—“

“Yes. Go,” Regulus orders Frank. He grumbles as James laughs and pulls him to a sitting position.

“Frank, meet my incomparable future husband, Regulus.” His scowl softens the slightest bit when James passionately kisses his cheek.

“Woah, I don’t think you two are old enough for that kind of thing. If I find out you’ve stolen any bases, Regulus—“

“I don’t understand sports metaphors,” he says, his gaze severe. James kisses Regulus’ hair as Frank retreats, shouting protests all the way. A few joyous kisses through their laughter and then they head downstairs too, fingers intertwined and eyes always finding their way back, like what they have could disappear the second they look away. Maybe they both have the premonition that three days later the rose-colored vision will burn to ash.

Chapter Text

Remus
Five years and two months ago

When he makes his way across the gym, Sirius is standing on the refreshments table, evidently contemplating how to get down.

“Pads.” Grey eyes meet his, surprised as Remus offers him both palms. Pale, slender hands settle in his large, scarred ones as Sirius jumps to the ground. He recovers quickly, silky, black hair flipped over one shoulder.

“Thanks.” They both hesitate to pull their hands away, studying each other in the dim, colored lighting. Remus hears Mary snicker nearby.

He inhales nervously. No more dicking around. Besides, it’s just Sirius. It’s only his unbelievably perfect best friend.

“Can we go somewhere else?” Remus tries to sound casual. Sirius studies him, something hopeful in his expression.

“Just us?”

“Yeah,” Remus says too quickly. “The guys are busy so…” James and Peter are not busy, but Sirius does not point that out. Instead he smiles and pulls him toward the gym exit, flashing a coy smirk at him over his shoulder. Marlene gives Remus a thumbs up on his way past her.

The hallway is dark and Remus swears he can hear his own heartbeat reverberating off the walls, tied by a red string to his pulse point flush against Sirius’ skin. Sirius, too, seems uncharacteristically nervous.

“Where do you want to go? Everyone’s at the dance, so the common room or the astronomy tower—“

“Yes,” Remus interrupts, meeting those beautiful eyes. His throat feels unbearably dry. “Astronomy tower sounds great.” They must both be distracted, because they don’t notice the approaching footsteps.

“Boys.” They spin around at McGonagall’s voice, hands separating reflexively. Sirius puts on an innocent smile that fools absolutely no one.

“Hey, Minnie! Lovely night for a stroll, isn’t it?”

“I believe you’re supposed to be in the gymnasium, Mr. Black.” Sirius bats his eyelashes at her shamelessly.

“You think this was my idea? I’m appalled, Minnie. Lupin was the one who wanted to get me alone.” Remus feels himself blush as McGonagall raises an appraising eyebrow at him.

“Is that true, Mr. Lupin?” He would kill Sirius if he didn’t want to kiss him so much.

“I suggested we leave the dance, Professor.” McGonagall looks between them for a long moment, before giving a solemn nod.

“School policy dictates that we ensure boys and girls do not sneak off together during extracurricular functions. Luckily, that isn’t the current case. Good night, boys.” With that McGonagall turns on her heel, effectively letting Sirius and Remus off scot-free.

“We love you, Minnie!” Remus can’t see her face, but he’d bet that made her smile. His train of thought disappears as Sirius grabs his hand and pulls him enthusiastically down the hallway. “Isn’t favouritism great? I hope she catches some really obnoxious couples making out so they get detention.” Sirius chatters on as they make their way to the Astronomy Tower. Remus gets lost in the passionate lull of his voice, almost tripping on the top step. Sirius places a steadying hand on the small of his back. “Careful, Moons.” Remus freezes and Sirius steps past him with a smirk. He takes a deep breath before joining him at the railing.

“You’re up there,” Remus says softly after a moment. Sirius turns to him, a question written on his face. “Your star, I mean.” Remus points it out, visible above the horizon. Sirius’ eyes follow his finger, his expression soft.

“How did you know that?” he asks incredulously. Remus crosses his arms over the railing, trying to hide his sweating palms.

“You’ve taken over the rest of my life. Might as well see you in the night sky, too.” Silence shifts until he feels Sirius’ arm brush his. Grey eyes look up apologetically.

“Sorry. It’s cold.” Remus scoffs at him.

“You’re wearing a leather jacket, moron. Here.” Remus pulls off his knit sweater and offers it to Sirius, who stares at it in shock. “Are we trading or not?”

That shakes Sirius from his daze enough to tug his jacket off and pass it over. Remus puts it on, simultaneously watching Sirius pull on his sweater. It’s huge on him, but Sirius is so stupidly attractive it looks cute rather than ridiculous. Remus’ heart pangs longingly as Sirius pulls the collar over his nose, inhaling.

“Oh my God, Moony. I'm not giving this back, it smells like you.” A completely platonic statement, Remus argues against his heightening want.

“I like it on you.” Sirius doesn’t look alarmed. He looks hopeful, lovely, soft, like Remus could just reach out and feel his unblemished skin under his palm. Like that’s something he might be allowed to have.

Sirius laughs lightly and shifts even closer, their hands almost touching on the railing. Remus is cold now, which is definitely why he wraps an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

“Moony?” Sirius glances up at him. Remus fights the lump in his throat.

“Yeah, Pads?” Sirius hums, tilting his chin to look up at the moon.

“I like you.” Suddenly, there’s no breath in Remus’ lungs.

“As a friend?” he whispers, terrified. Sirius shrugs noncommittally.

“That, too.” Remus’ hand moves of its own accord, covering Sirius’ on the railing. Sirius is watching the sky, avoiding his gaze. Remus reaches out and puts an awkward, too-large hand on the back of the other boy’s neck. His hair is so soft. He tips his chin up until Sirius’ eyes meet his, bare and anxious. Remus would have to be the stupidest man in the world to let this chance go.

“The first time I saw you, I knew I was hooked for life. No one else could compare to you, Sirius.” Sirius exhales, the tiniest breath of relief as his fingers settle on Remus’ chest. He meets his eyes: sure, brave, and oh so distinctly Sirius Black.

“Why don’t you kiss me, then?” Remus wipes the smirk off his face by the sheer force of their mouths colliding. He grabs Sirius’ waist greedily, pulling him closer as Sirius kisses him like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get. If he thinks that, he’s sorely mistaken. Remus finally has what he wants, and he’s never letting go.

But they have to breathe, so their mouths finally have to separate. Remus doesn’t relinquish his grip on his waist though, keeping him very close. Sirius’ pupils are wide and his lips wet. Remus leans in, pressing his mouth to his pale jaw. He wants to leave marks.

“I want you,” Remus mumbles against his skin. Sirius laughs deliriously, his hands buried in his hair.

“I promise, you’ve got me, Moony. I’m not going anywhere.” Sirius kisses him devoutly, like they have all the time in the world. Remus gives into the fantasy, ignoring everything but the extraordinary force of nature he holds in his arms. Right now, Sirius is his, and the clock has stopped indefinitely.

November 3, Present Day

Remus wakes up with long hair in his mouth and his boyfriend laying on top of him. He shoves him off roughly.

“When did you get so heavy?” he asks, spitting hair out of his mouth. Sirius’ newly-opened eyes fix on him, hurt.

“I’m terribly sorry for not weighing the 140 pounds I did in high school. Want to tell me I’m not pretty anymore, too?” So Remus is fairly sure he messed up. Today is not a good day to be on Sirius’ bad side.

“I didn’t mean to say that,” he backtracks quickly. “You’re definitely not heavy, except when you’re cutting off the circulation to my arm. Which is fine.” Sirius’ expression has softened slightly so Remus takes the opportunity to inch closer, leaning above him on the bed. “And you’re actually more beautiful than when we were younger. 21 is already looking unbelievably sexy on you.” Sirius sits up and grabs Remus’ shirt collar, pulling him close.

“Flatterer,” Sirius murmurs against his collar bone, his voice dark. Remus nuzzles above his ear.

“Happy birthday, Pads.”

Remus is seconds away from pinning his boyfriend to their mattress when James Potter throws open their door. Sirius bolts upright, nearly kneeing Remus in the crotch. James bounds into the room and violently tackles Sirius.

“You’re so fucking old!” James yells excitedly.

“I know!” Most of the time, Remus feels like he’s third-wheeling in his own relationship. He tries not to resent whatever weird, codependent platonic-soulmates-thing James and Sirius have. On the other hand, he is certain James spends far too much time in bed with him and his boyfriend.

“I’ll leave you to your bromance,” he mutters, rolling out of bed and tugging on a pair of jeans. Sirius grabs his hand, looking disheveled and disastrously pretty with his atrocious bed head.

“I love you,” he says sweetly. Remus has forgiven innumerable faults because of that voice. He leans down and kisses his hair.

“Love you, asshole.” He gives James a harsh side glance as he exits the room. “Potter.”

“I love you, too, Moony!” He closes the door behind him and turns to find Peter lingering in the hallway.

“Remus—“ He grabs Peter’s elbow and pulls him toward the kitchen.

“Not here.” At the far side of the apartment, Remus lets go of Peter, sending a furtive glance back toward the bedrooms.

“You seem stressed,” Peter notes calmly.

“Of course, I’m fucking—“ Someone knocks at the door and Remus goes to answer it, cursing under his breath. He accepts the elaborate red flower arrangement he had ordered, turning around to catch the exact moment Sirius sees the overflowing mass of roses, surprise flooding his eyes. “Are you going to take these, or what?” Remus demands sharply. Sirius accepts his flowers gingerly, then passes them to James, and then launches himself at Remus.

“Why are you being so nice?” he preens in his ear, laughing as Remus grabs his waist possessively. “Not that I mind—“ His first instinct is to feel guilty. Sure they’ve been together for years, but that is absolutely no excuse not to regularly spoil Sirius Black.

He dips Sirius low, kissing him as Peter gags in the background. “I got my act together and remembered that I’m crazy about you,” he whispers, setting Sirius back on his feet and pushing a strand of soft, black hair from his face.

“You’re the reason I’m homophobic,” Peter declares loudly. Sirius pulls out of Remus’ arms and precedes to throw himself at Peter, lips first.

In between getting ready, Remus catches glimpses of Sirius, blindingly beautiful and tantalizingly out of reach. They each have a class at 9 today, much to his boyfriend’s whinging. Still, Sirius pulls him into the bathroom after he’s finished applying his eyeliner. He winds his arms confidently around Remus’ neck.

“Hi,” Sirius whispers. Remus pushes him off emotionlessly.

“Give me one second,” he says before ducking out the bathroom door. He grabs Peter’s arm as he’s about to step out of the apartment. “Where is it?” he demands, panicked. Peter looks back at him judgementally.

“Breathe, Lupin. Top shelf in the kitchen. No chance of him finding it there.” Remus lets go of his arm, somewhat calmed.

“Okay. Thanks, Pete.” His friend steps out the door, nonplussed.

“Your funeral.”

Remus makes his way back to the bathroom, finding Sirius morosely glaring down at the counter. “Hey, sweetheart.” Sirius turns, his arms crossed sullenly over his chest.

“Oh, it’s sweetheart now, is it?” Remus sighs and closes the bathroom door.

“Hey, asshole,” he says, pulling him into a kiss. Sirius’ hands push into his shoulders as he pins him against the counter. Lean muscles shift under his body, tense and anticipating. Sirius pulls away, his panting, hot breath on his neck quickly unraveling Remus’ sanity. Neither of them will make it to their 9 am classes, cemented by the whimper Sirius gives when Remus sinks to his knees. Remus undoes his boyfriend’s gold belt with agonizing patience. He looks upward, rewarded with Sirius’ already crumbling composure, grey eyes wide and needy. “Is this okay, sweetheart?” Sirius looks close to tears.

“You know that it’s— fuck you.”

“That’s the idea.” Remus kisses just above his waistband, content to hear Sirius’ breath catch. Sirius Black has always been a contradiction. He is an unstoppable force. He sounds so pretty when he’s falling apart.

8 hours later

Remus Lupin hasn’t felt this scared in years. He can always call it off. It doesn’t have to be today. They’re young, and they’re happy just the way they are, and probably would be indefinitely. If it were anyone else, his plan would be ludicrous.

But this isn’t anyone else. That’s the reason his blood is freezing in his veins and the reason his heart beats faster whenever he walks in the room and the reason that proudly cynical Remus Lupin now believes in true love. The answer is encompassed in a loud, overdramatic, 5’8 musician who always dresses for fashion and never the weather. He’s provided Remus with a constant source of stress since he was 11, and shared all the best moments of his life. He’s the reason Remus wakes up in the morning, most of the time. Love is fucking ridiculous. Why is he thinking about growing old with a guy he has to lie about reservation times to because otherwise they’ll be half an hour late to the restaurant where Remus is going to ask him to marry him?

And he should have lied more, because they’re still going to be late. Remus knocks impatiently on the bathroom door.

“If you’re wearing a socially acceptable amount of clothes, we’re leaving now.”

“Wait! I’m almost done!” Remus open the bathroom door, and feels his irritation lessen drastically. Sirius is wearing his usual strategically-torn black jeans with a black, lace top that reveals his tattoos and looks breathtakingly pretty alongside his dramatic eyeliner and long, perfectly curled hair. Remus resists the urge to drag him off to bed.

“You look absolutely stunning. I promise I’ll do something about that later, but right now we do need to go.” Sirius grins and grabs his hand, pulling him toward the door.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait, because we’re meeting everyone for drinks after supper.” They pass by the kitchen doorway, and Sirius’ gaze catches on something lying on the counter. “Did James forget his phone? Might as well take it with us.” He strides over, picks it up, and time stops still as Sirius goes deadly pale.

Remus is standing in front on him instantly, cupping his face and trying to fight his rising panic. “Love? What’s wrong?” Sirius silently turns James’ phone to face him, illuminating a background photo of a pretty, serious-looking boy about their age. Remus’ brain races to catch up.

“James’ boyfriend…” Sirius looks up at him, pretty eyes shot through with so much hurt. His voice shakes when he exhales.

“He’s my brother, Moony.”

“Oh,” is all Remus can find to say. He didn’t know Sirius had a brother. None of this makes any sense. This shouldn’t be happening, not today. Right now, he’s supposed to be taking his gorgeous boyfriend to an insanely expensive restaurant and putting a diamond ring on his finger. This was supposed to be the first day of the rest of their lives and now…

Sirius is starting to cry over his brother Remus has never met, a brother James is apparently dating. Remus stops thinking and wraps his arms around the love of his life, whispering meaningless words in a comforting tone as Sirius sobs into his shoulder. He holds him and mindlessly kisses his hair and forgets about the ring in his pocket and all his meticulous plans for how tonight was supposed to go.

After all, everything was always for Sirius.

Isn’t it obvious by now? Until the day that they die, everything always will be.

Chapter Text

Regulus is wearing James’ hoodie and burning a pot of instant noodles on the stove when someone knocks on his apartment door.

“Wait, just— fuck!” He turns the burner off and slides the inedible noodles to the side of the stove to cool. He marches over and throws open the door. What he sees stops him dead in his tracks.

Regulus had not seen his older brother since Sirius graduated from high school three years ago. He looks distinctly prettier now, with hair longer than Regulus had ever seen it and dark makeup around his eyes. He stares at Regulus like he’s seeing a ghost.

Someone clears their throat and Regulus’ attention shifts to a very tall, very attractive man with dirty blond hair and dozens of scars marking his face and hands. He’s also significantly hotter than he was at Hogwarts.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” His voice is gentle, and he extends a large hand that Regulus ignores. “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“Regulus Black.” Sirius visibly stiffens, like his worst fears have been confirmed. Remus’ kind smile doesn’t waver, even as he rubs Sirius’ shoulder comfortingly.

“May we come in?” Remus asks politely. Regulus turns around and walks back inside, leaving the door open. Sirius enters a long moment later, pressed close to his boyfriend’s side. Regulus sighs and pulls out an emergency bottle of wine.

“Want a drink?” he asks without looking at either of them, irritably searching for a corkscrew in his kitchen.

“No, thank you, Regulus.”

“I’ll take one,” Sirius says softly, the first thing Regulus has heard from him in years. Well, fuck that. The sooner Regulus is drunk and has his brother out of his apartment, the better.

Regulus grudgingly pours them both a full glass of wine and hands one to Sirius on the couch. Remus must take that as his cue to leave.

“I’ll give you some time to talk.” Sirius looks up at Remus, plainly feeling betrayed. He cups his chin lightly with a comforting smirk. “I won’t be long. Think I’ll grab some Vietnamese from that place you like. Can I get you anything, Regulus?” Remus Lupin seems very kind. Regulus doesn’t like it.

“Don’t bother,” he snaps.

“I’ll bring you something,” he says, ignoring his attitude completely. Regulus looks away as Remus kisses Sirius sweetly. “I love you,” he murmurs in Sirius’ ear, and then he’s gone.

The room goes quiet as Regulus studies his brother.

“Is this because I didn’t send a birthday card?” he deadpans.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sirius looks up, his expression pained. “We both lived in that house. I know it’s not the same, but if anyone would’ve understood, it would have been me—“

“You left me, Sirius.” He looks so small and breakable on Regulus’ couch. The fearless big brother he idolized for so long. The brother he wanted so badly to be, but here he is, weak and human to the bone.

“I thought you were safe there,” he says, folding in on himself. “They were never angry at you. You always seemed so fucking perfect.” He laughs in the dead serious living room. “How on earth did you hide something like that? I mentioned a boy once in fifth grade and mother wrote me out of the will.” Regulus takes a measured sip of his wine.

“I’m both smarter and subtler than you. I should be grateful, really. They let me go into business because they didn’t have a son to take it over anymore.” Sirius visibly winces, though Regulus doesn’t know which of them the sympathy is for. After all, they both lived in that house.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius says, and while it’s exactly what Regulus wanted to hear for so long, it changes nothing now. “Are you okay, Regulus? What did they do when they found out?” Regulus sighs and crosses the room to sit on the opposite end of the couch from Sirius.

“They still don’t know.” Sirius nearly spits wine all over his carpet. “Watch it,” Regulus snaps.

“What do you mean they don’t know?!”

“I mean our parents don’t know I’m trans,” he repeats, annoyed.

“Are they blind? You look more masculine than me now.”

“That’s not much of an accomplishment.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Sirius tells him, running his hands through his long hair self-consciously. “Maybe I like looking pretty.” Regulus smiles despite himself.

“Mother would die of shame if she saw us like this.”

“You promise? We should go visit!” Regulus starts laughing, despite everything. Sirius smiles at him and it’s almost like they’re kids again. Like they haven’t yet tore each other open just trying to save themselves. “I missed you,” Sirius tells him matter-of-factly. “Can I hug you?”

“No,” Regulus says automatically.

“Please? It’s my birthday.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do I look like I care?” Sirius moves across the couch and hugs him anyway, his hair getting in Regulus’ face.

“Stop.” Sirius pulls away, settling back on his knees.

“Sorry.” He appears to hesitate for a moment, studying Regulus closely.

“That’s James' sweater, right?” Regulus instantly steals himself for a fight. Sirius presses his eyes shut, obviously pained.

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. Did he actually think I wouldn’t want to see you?”

Regulus hesitates, anticipating the loss of his momentary peace with Sirius. “It’s not his fault. He doesn’t know we’re brothers.”

When Sirius’ eyes open they are aflame with anger.

“But you knew.” A statement, not a fact. Regulus sets his jaw, ready for a fight. Sirius always had a talent for picking those. Regulus gives his cockiest smile, the one that almost looks like his brother’s reflected back at him.

“Yeah, I knew. You chose him over me when you were 16, so I thought I’d return the favor.” Sirius scowls, obviously trying to control his temper. Funny that Regulus still recognizes his tells years later.

“That’s not the same thing, Regulus, and you know it.”

“Why is it different? Because you weren’t dating him? Or because you’re not alone now the way you left me?”

“This has nothing to do with that. This is about you lying to my best friend and fucking hiding from me!”

“It’s not exactly your business who I’m doing, Sirius. The entire world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“It’s not me I’m angry about you deceiving. You were purposefully taking advantage of James not knowing who you are. Can you see how wrong that is, or did you abandon every shred of morality when you sided with our fucked up family?” Regulus stands, fists clenched, unsure what he plans on doing next. This is too reminiscent of too many fights Regulus turned a blind eye to, ones that rose to a clamour in private rooms and died just as quickly, resulting in bruises Sirius struggled to hide under his school clothes. When he looks at Regulus does he see her instead? Is he afraid?

“If you think James would give a shit that we’re related, you’re an idiot. I didn’t pursue him. I didn’t want your stupid best friend to fall in love with me. I knew you would blame me, and that’s exactly why I was avoiding you. You can’t blame me just because the guy you’ve worshipped for a decade wants me and he never wanted you.”

Regulus is spared Sirius’ response when Remus opens the door, looking immediately disappointed but unsurprised at the bitter hate in their gazes. Sirius stands abruptly, tearing his gaze away from Regulus.

“We’re leaving, Moony.” Remus nods.

“You head downstairs, and I’ll be there in a moment, love.” Sirius looks like he wants to argue, but his desire to get far away from Regulus must be stronger because he storms out the door without a backward glance. Remus steps calmly into the kitchen and places three take-out cartons on the counter.

“I wasn’t sure what you like, so I got you some variety. James wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t buy you supper.”

“Lupin.” He turns to Regulus casually, as if he didn’t just walk in on him arguing with his boyfriend.

“Can I borrow a pen?” The request and unbothered behaviour confuse Regulus enough that he retrieves one without argument. Remus quickly scrawls two phone numbers onto a napkin, placing it in front of Regulus with a satisfactory click of his pen. “Call or text if you need anything at all, okay? He’s in shock right now, but he really loves you, Regulus. Don’t disappear. You need each other.” Regulus folds his arms over his chest.

“Why are you doing this?” Remus studies him appraisingly.

“You’re my least toxic future in-law.” Regulus huffs a laugh.

“If you want to legally bind yourself to my brother, you’ve got a screw loose, Lupin.” Remus gives a sardonic smirk and pulls a jewellery box out of his jacket pocket.

“Wanna see? This almost bankrupt me.”

“Fuck, no,” Regulus answers, dismayed. “I believe your stupidity.” Remus just grins, pocketing the ring happily.

“He’s a good man, your brother.” Remus walks to the door, glancing back with the ghost of an affectionate smile. “You remind me of him. Take care, Regulus Black.”

A good man would call his boyfriend and explain, before James hears from Sirius. He would apologize to the man who told him he loved him after winning a game of croquet at a party three days ago. He’d try to make it right while he still can. He wouldn’t, as Remus Lupin so aptly put it, disappear.

Regulus pulls his phone out of his pocket, feeling incredibly far away from his life. His thumb hovers over James’ profile picture, his smile blinding and his hair hopelessly mussed by Regulus’ hands after passionately kissing on this same couch. His thumb shifts downward.

He emotionlessly clicks the screen and blocks the man that he irrefutably loves back.

Regulus is nothing like his brother.

He’s not a good man at all.

Chapter Text

7:49 pm

Future Husband

James: hey beautiful 

James: the actual light of my life

James: raison d’être 

James: Is my French right?

James: anyway Sirius canceled his birthday plans last minute

James: So if ur not busy tonight…

James: I could come over and kiss you?

James: or watch you do homework?

James: you know poetry is meant to be read out loud so we could work together you know it’s just logical 

James: so is cuddling as a study break

James: anyway text me when you get this love you baby!

James: can’t even see you but you look gorgeous 

James: I love you Reg

James reluctantly puts his phone down. Regulus hasn’t called or texted at all today, but that’s nothing unusual for him. He’s busy because finals are at the end of the month, and he studies a whole lot more than James. His grades are also a lot better. Opposites attract, and that’s them. They’ve developed a system when they’re out in public where James will happily chat with anyone who starts a conversation, and Regulus will burrow into his side and ignore them. It’s both effective and adorable for James. 

James likes when Regulus is right at his side, because he’s known to be a little protective. Lily jokes that his mom-friend-instinct kicks in whenever someone he loves looks the slightest bit uncomfortable because of a stranger. And obviously Regulus can take care of himself, but so can Sirius and the girls, and James has thrown more than a few punches at guys who won’t take a no on their behalf. 

James is well aware that at one point he could have been categorized as a guy who can’t take a no. He feels shitty about it frequently and has apologized to Lily more times than he can count. James is stubborn, but he’s not a bad person. Every day he tries to be better for Regulus.

His thoughts are quickly shaken from his boyfriend as someone throws open the apartment door. James hurries to the doorway and sees Sirius, his smeared makeup and splotchy complexion telling James that something has gone terribly wrong. Remus is whispering comfortingly to Sirius and running his hands up and down his sides as he sniffles. Oh. James has not seen Sirius cry in years. It upsets him just as much now as it did then.

“Pads?” Sirius swivels to face him, his expression something unreadable. The fear in Remus’ eyes is clear enough, though. James’ heart races, terrified. “What’s wrong?” 

Remus goes to whisper something to Sirius but he brushes him off, crossing his arms and charging past James to the living room. He scoops James’ phone off the couch, opening it with an outraged expression.

“Did he text you? Are you just fucking with me now?” 

“Pads—“ Remus tries but Sirius silences him with a glare. 

“No. Don’t you dare defend him.” Grey eyes swivel to James, pissed off and terrifying despite James’ height advantage. “Don’t you dare play stupid, Potter. I could fucking kill you right now.” Remus gets in between them, his tone way calmer than James feels.

“He’s not playing dumb. He doesn’t know, Pads. Don’t blame him.” Sirius glares at him over his boyfriend’s shoulder, eyes wet with tears as the anger in them slowly fades.

“I hate you. I told you to stay away from him at that stupid dance.” James is speechless, and scared, and still doesn’t understand a thing. All he knows is that he did something very wrong without knowing it. Sirius pushes his disheveled hair out of his face, looking at James with more disgust than hate now. Like he’s the gum under his shoe.

“Your perfect little boyfriend, Potter?” Sirius sneers. “Regulus?” That name he loves so much, stabbing him through the heart. James’ blood runs cold as Sirius drops the anvil, cruel familiar eyes burning into his. “He’s my baby brother.” 

And everything replays in slow motion.

That day he tripped over Regulus on his way to class, instantly enamoured despite the other boy’s forceful scowl. He had chalked his unfriendliness up to their collision, but that wasn’t it at all. Regulus had seen him before, and didn’t want to see him again. He had told him so.

Regulus’ friends knowing smiles from around the lunch table, rejoicing in Reg’s discomfort, or rather, the obvious irony from their point of view. Barty, Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora: all Hogwarts alumni. Just like Regulus. He had never even lied about it. James had just never thought to ask.

Maybe the gender tripped him up, but in the few days he’s known about Regulus’ transition, he didn’t consider who he was before at all. Maybe that was naive of him, or maybe it was proof that James really was unconditionally supportive of his boyfriend. Either way, he missed another sign. He lost the fucking game, and the king along with it.

Now that he knows, it’s clear as day. He remembers the bare look of understanding on Regulus’ face watching As You Like It on their first date. Ganymede, who used to be Rosalind, who Orlando fell in love with twice.

James thinks he fell a little bit in love with Regulus that night he danced with him in high school. He was only 15, and still utterly obsessed with Lily, but that quiet stranger caught his attention like no one else ever had. He’s different now: no long hair, no green dress, but some things never change. Namely, how much James still wants to hold him and never let him go. He doesn’t think there’ll ever be a world in which James Potter wouldn’t trade everything just to keep Regulus Black.

Because his last name is Black, not Arcturus. The precious estranged younger sibling of James’ best friend. Even if both could be his soulmate, James doesn’t think Sirius would allow it. Their friendship was always too territorial, too protective, too intertwined in a love that bleeds between souls as much as boundaries. Dating brothers isn’t a line. It’s a brick wall of forbidden want that James should have resisted. That he would have respected if he were a better friend. That he would have run from if he had only known. That he would have chosen if only he didn’t want him in every way and with every breath. 

How could he miss it for so long?

James said it to Sirius, that day he went to him for advice.

He’s absolutely beautiful. Looks a bit like you, actually. 

James meets Sirius’ grey eyes, ashamed. 

“I am so stupid.” 

He doesn’t even say I told you so. He just hands James his phone back and turns around without a word, slamming the door to his room shut behind him. Remus studies James with concern as his eyesight blurs.

“Prongs…”

“I’m fine.” James wipes the tears from his eyes. “I—“ he chokes through a sob. “Is he going to be okay?”

Remus doesn’t ask which Black he’s worried about. He must know that James still can’t choose. 

To his surprise, Remus steps forward and wraps his arms around him. In only takes a moment before James is hugging him back, face buried in his bony shoulder. 

“You will be,” Remus promises, finally letting go. James gives a terse nod and Remus mirrors it before stepping away to find Sirius. 

James brushes the tears from his face and looks down at the phone in his hand. He stares for a long time before clicking on his contacts. He dials the person he needs right now, more than anything. 

They answer on the first ring.

“Mom? Can you pick me up?”

Chapter Text

Regulus has barely left his bed for two days when the knocking starts. He burrows deeper into his blankets and ignores it. His phone starts ringing. He declines Barty’s call without remorse. An angry text pops up.

Barty: let us in you little shit

Regulus sends a middle finger emoji back. The knocking gets significantly louder. His phone pings.

Evan: answer my call or I’ll let him kick your door down

Regulus answers on the 5th ring out of spite.

“What do you want?” he snaps at his friends.

“Mostly we wanted to make sure you were still alive,” Evan starts reasonably.

“Great. I’m alive. Piss off.” Sounds of Evan stopping Barty from seizing the phone occur in the background. His voice is exasperated when it returns.

“We heard about what happened, Reg. We’re worried about you… Just let us in, please?” Regulus hangs up on him and goes to open the door.

He knows he looks terrible. His normally perfect hair is untameable and unwashed. He hasn’t showered or changed clothes, still swimming in James’ hoodie now stained with tears and snot. He looks and feels pathetic and he can’t even make himself care.

Barty shoves himself through the door the second it’s open, clearly prepping himself to yell at Regulus. He thinks better of it when he sees him and pulls him into his arms instead.

“Do you need me to kill him?” Regulus wriggles his way out of his embrace.

“Sirius or James?”

“Either. Both. Whatever strikes your fancy, darling.”

“Nobody’s killing anyone,” Evan interrupts, walking in with a bag of groceries. He gives Regulus a sympathetic smile. “Unless Reg tells us to, that is.” Barty scowls, disappointed.

“Fine. We brought you ice cream for your depressive episode and actual food for apparently,” here Barty uses finger quotes and looks skeptically at Evan, “nutritive value?”

Evan takes Regulus’ wrist gently and leads him to the counter. “You need some Vitamin C, Reg. You’re even paler than usual.” Regulus’ mind goes immediately to James, cooking for him right here, jokingly telling him to buy some oranges. As if he can read the thought on his face, Evan pulls him close and presses a kiss into his hair. Regulus’ eyes squeeze shut.

“Don’t. I haven’t washed it.” Evan cradles his face with rough hands, tipping it upward to meet his dark, gentle eyes.

“You know I don’t care.”

“Hey!” Barty forcefully throws his arms around Evan’s waist from behind, making him laugh. He gives Regulus a haughty look of false outrage. “Stop seducing my man, Black.” Barty pauses, looking Regulus slowly up and down. “Though you’re always welcome to join in on the action,” he suggests with a toothy grin. Evan smacks his boyfriend on the arm, appalled.

“Do not proposition Regulus two days after his last relationship.”

“That wasn’t a proposition! That was a friendly open invitation! Besides,” he spins Evan and loops his other arm around Regulus’ shoulders, leaning in affectionately, “who could love our boy more than us?” Something in Regulus pangs painfully even as he smiles back at Barty as he leans down and dramatically kisses his forehead. He tries to brush the emotion off as he helps unpack the groceries into his fridge, paying close attention to insure that he laughs at the right time when Barty makes a joke. Evan takes his elbow anyway, seeing right through his carefully layered facade.

“Reg.” His voice is quiet as he pulls him aside. Evan’s thumb runs over his cheekbone and a chill goes up his spine. He loves Evan, truly, but right now his kindness is far too reminiscent of James. “Do you want to talk?”

“I miss him,” is what comes out of his mouth, which is definitely not what he should be saying but here he is anyway and he can not fucking cry again—

“Regulus? Listen to me, okay? You’re allowed to miss him. You really liked James—“

“I love him.” It sounds so much worse out loud, though he’s known for a while now. Because if Regulus loved James, why did he lie about everything? It’s like that stupid fucking saying: if you love something, set it free, and if it comes back to you, it’s yours. But James hasn’t come back, and he’s so much better off without Regulus. “I actually loved—“

Evan just holds Regulus to his chest as he sobs, which is incredibly embarrassing, but he knows they’ve seen him worse. No one says a word, but somehow Regulus winds up between his friends on the couch, held from both sides until he finally stops crying. Evan brings him a glass of water and waits until Regulus drinks it. He kneels in front of him and pushes his damp, messy hair back from his face.

“You’re tough as nails, Reg.” Barty tips his head affectionately onto his shoulder.

“Absolutely terrifying.” Regulus wipes his nose on his too-long sweater sleeve and rolls his eyes at them.

“Maybe not right now.” Evan pulls him to his feet.

“You want to take a shower? You’ll feel better.”

“Yeah.” He nods in agreement, cringing at his greasy hair.

“Can I wash that hoodie for you?” Evan continues gently. “I’ll have it back to you tomorrow, okay?” He hesitates only a second before pulling James’ hoodie over his head and handing it over. It doesn’t smell like James much anymore anyway. “We’ll wait for you, okay? We’ll eat and watch a movie once you’re feeling more like yourself.” Barty gives Regulus a sideways smile from the couch.

“Call me if your cute ass needs help in the shower.”

“Ignore him.” Evan pulls him a quick half-hug before lets him go. “I’m proud of you, Reg. We’ll be right here.”

So Regulus takes a long, hot shower, scalding his skin in hopes that he can wash off everything wrong on the inside. After, he dresses in a different hoodie and sweatpants and blow-dries his hair until it’s soft and falls the way he likes. He does feel better. It’s stupid that self care works.

When he returns to the living room, Barty pulls him onto his lap and tells him he smells nice, so at least he has that going for him. Evan pulls up Netflix, and they watch some stupid new horror movie that’s not scary at all, but Barty screams anyway until Regulus hits him with a throw pillow. Evan plays with his hair and they talk over the movie, eating the snacks piled on the coffee table.

Regulus sits between his friends eating cookie dough ice cream, and tries to convince himself he’s not thinking of James at all.

Chapter Text

The morning after James arrives at his parents’ house, he wakes up to his ringtone blaring. James doesn’t know who it is, but he really doesn’t want to answer it. The only person he tried to call during the emotional haze of last night was Regulus, and it went straight to voicemail. The voicemail he left was mostly likely unintelligible, but he remembers begging Regulus to contact him back. He also told him he loved him, most likely repeatedly. His mom, driving beside him, gave him a worried glance but didn’t interfere.

He’s not sure how much of the story he got out to his parents, but they understood enough to treat him carefully and give him space. He can’t stay with them long anyway if he plans on passing his classes. He hasn’t decided when he’s ready to go back to living with Sirius.

He picks up the phone and answers without glancing at the caller id.

“Hi,” he says to his bedroom ceiling.

“Thank fuck,” comes Peter’s voice. “You’re still alive.” James rolls onto his side, not feeling much of anything.

“Yeah. I’m at my parents’.”

“Good,” says Peter, a bit awkwardly. “That’s good. The guys weren’t really sure where you went last night. I think Sirius thought you might be with Regulus.”

“No,” says James, trying to sound completely nonchalant and not like his heart is bleeding out in his chest. “Reg, um…” his voice breaks a bit and there’s no way he can hide it. “He’s not really answering me right now.”

“Oh.” He can hear the pity in Peter’s voice. “He’s probably just needs some time, yeah? I think this caught everyone off guard. It’s probably just going to be a while until things can go back to normal.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” James forces a smile onto his face like that will make everything sort itself out. “Don’t know if Sirius will want me dating his brother anymore, though.” Peter falls momentarily silent at that, before finally recovering his voice.

“It’s not your fault, okay? You just had some shitty luck, James. I mean, if I was dating someone like that? I can guarantee you I would not sit around wondering if they’re related to one of my friends. You and Sirius… you’re maybe more controlling of each other than you should be, but you want the best for each other. And if that’s you being happy with his little brother, I think Pads will eventually get his head out his ass and be happy for you.”

“I… Thanks, Wormy,” he says finally. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah.” He can hear Peter smile. “See you, James.”

He scrolls through his last texts to Regulus, unseen and unopened. He sets his phone on his bedside table and pulls his blanket over his head.

James eventually drags himself out of bed and spends the day with his parents, cooking alongside his mom and watching football with his dad. He tries not to think of Regulus but he can’t stop himself from checking his phone like clockwork, hoping for a response of any kind. It doesn’t come. James would go to his apartment right now, but he’s far too afraid that he wouldn’t let him in. He feels hands settle on his tense shoulders. He lowers his phone, placing it facedown on the couch.

“Hi, Mom.” She sits beside him, her hands clasped over his.

“Oh, James. Your heart was never the containable sort.” James’ breath catches in his throat.

“I messed up. I dated him for a month and a half and… I knew his family had hurt him. But I didn’t even bring it up again, Mom. I didn’t ask if he needed help. I told him I loved him but what did I do to prove it? I got his brother out and I left him there. He should hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, love. You did what you could. It was your father and I who should’ve taken both those boys.” James looks up, caught off guard.

“Mom, you’re describing kidnapping.” She shakes her head, something fiercely protective in her dark eyes.

“Walburga and Orion did not deserve to keep their children. They deserve much worse for what they did to my kids.” James’ voice falters, realizing her exact phrasing.

“I… Is it wrong that I want that I them both with me? Not in a possessive way, I just love them so much, Mom, and I don’t want them to resent each other forever. I definitely don’t want to be the reason they hate each other. Because as much as I can try to understand, I wasn’t there. I’ll never know what it was like for them, so I think they need each other. And I don’t know how to make it happen.” He feels his mom’s arms wind around his shoulders and he exhales a shaky breath.

“They'll find each other again, James. They’re each other’s family as much as they are yours.” He leans forward and buries his nose in the crook of his mom’s shoulder. He’s so much bigger than her now, but the safest he’s ever felt is in her arms. There’s a reason Sirius loves hugging Effie, after everything he went through.

The doorbell rings and James’ heart skips a beat. He knows he shouldn’t hope. It's not something he can control.

“James," Monty says, his expression gentle as he steps into the room. “There’s someone at the door for you.” James pulls away from his mom’s arms, taking strength from her reassuring smile. He steps silently to the front door, night air streaming inside from where his father left it partially open. He exhales and pulls it fully open, stepping outside before his mind can stop him.

A lean figure faces away from him, clothed in black at the lip of the porch step. The scene is instantly reminiscent of another dark winter night, fragile and hesitant and bloody. Maybe they aren’t brothers, but he’ll always be his guiding star against the night sky. If James were a star, he thinks he'd be the sun. He’d spend every day bringing light to the people he loves, even if it burned him in the end.

“It’s your house, Pads,” James says softly. “Come inside.” Sirius turns around, his pale face hesitant as he stands against the railing.

“I wasn’t angry at you yesterday,” he says, grey eyes sweeping the pavement. His voice grows softer. “I wasn’t really angry at him, either.” James steps forward cautiously.

“I know.” He looks down at Sirius, offering a friendly smile. “You know I couldn’t stay mad at you if I tried.” The ghost of a smile shows on Sirius’ face and James can’t stop himself from striding forward and pulling him into his arms. Sirius exhales in relief and winds his arms tightly around James’ neck, balanced on his tip toes to match his height. “You’re staying the night,” he informs Sirius rather than asks him.

“Yeah.” Sirius sinks back to his usual height and James releases his suffocating hold on his ribs. “You should feel special, Potter. I’m missing my boyfriend wrapped around me like a python for this.”

“I could wrap around you like a python instead,” James offers casually. “If you want.” Sirius flashes him a threatening look.

“I’d rather you sleep with me than my baby brother,” he huffs.

“You told me you weren’t pissed at me!”

“I lied. Stay far away from him or you won’t have a body left to bury.” James rolls his eyes and winds an arm around Sirius’ waist, leading him inside.

“Respectfully, anything your brother asks me to do, I will do. Eagerly. So send your cryptic warnings to him.” Sirius actually gags in disgust.

“Never suggest the possibility of him having sex again. You should be imprisoned. He’s only 19, James.”

“That’s an adult? And he’s only a year younger than me?”

“I swear to God, Potter, if you touch him I will cut off your–” Effie appears in view and Sirius’ entire demeanor shifts. He wrenches himself away from James and throws himself at her excitedly. “Hi, Mom!” She hugs him back proudly, her eyes shining.

“What on Earth were you doing outside, Sirius?” James folds his arms over his chest irritably.

“He had to be dramatic. As usual.” Sirius looks at James, scandalized, and the next thing he knows they’re arguing, playfully raising fists like they’re going to box for supremacy in the living room. Effie makes a melodramatic complaint over her sons fighting, and James wishes he could freeze the moment in glass. He'd store it away and show it to anyone unsure of what real family looks like.

Chapter Text

Regulus is perfectly fine until he sees James, seated at his desk, fervently organizing his notes before class. Regulus freezes on the spot, staring in an unapologetic combination of longing, aversion, and sharp remorse. Of course, James chooses that moment to look up.

And don’t those gorgeous brown doe eyes suddenly hurt like a bitch.

How many times has Regulus said it?

He doesn’t deserve James looking at him like that.

He turns and bolts up the stairs to his seat before James can say a word. What he sees on his desk makes him want to fall apart all over again.

Another takeout black coffee just like every day this semester. There’s a heart and a messily written ‘I love you’ scrawled on the side.

And it’s not okay. It’s not. Nothing is and Regulus has no clue how to make it stop.

When James Potter first gave him his number, Regulus thought it was a joke. Not by James, but by the universe. A cosmic slap in the face. A reminder of what he could never have.

Then it got worse. James didn’t go away. He showed up all the time, infuriatingly insufferable and beautiful and impossible to get rid of. Regulus had to flirt back ruthlessly, because he knew if he didn’t he’d just cave. Immediately and completely, because when would Regulus ever have someone like James under his thumb again? How could he help but be selfish? How could a boy who’s never known warmth stay away from the sun?

The next thing he knew, he was trapped in what he’d always wanted: the actual heaven on earth procured by belonging to James Fleamont Potter.

It wasn’t what he expected. Regulus was fully prepared to be played with and then thrown away like a shiny new toy. Isn’t that the only thing a pretty boyfriend is good for: getting him out of his clothes and onto his back as fast as humanly possible? His last few relationships were like that, so why would James be any different? That sounds worse than it was. His ex-boyfriends didn’t force him to do anything. Regulus likes sex and he likes making his partners happy. If anything, he’s disappointed James never took him to bed. He would have rolled over and begged for it like the useful little bitch he really is.

He’s not sure he’ll ever understand what James saw in him in the first place. Sure, Regulus is beautiful, but that’ll never make up for everything he lacks. Eventually, he’ll realize Regulus isn’t a good person at all. He’s rude, and he’s damaged, and he doesn’t know how to comprehend basic kindness, much less return it. He’d rather be used and discarded than cherished, because once the novelty of Regulus wears off, James won’t want him anymore. He’d rather leave while James still loves him than bleed himself dry in his arms until he doesn’t.

So this is just how it has to be.

Class ends and Regulus gathers his belongings. James is still in his seat, loitering and not so subtly eyeing Regulus over his shoulder. He walks down the stairs and approaches his desk, forcing his expression blank. Falsely unfeeling even when every atom wants to run right back to James. That can’t happen anymore.

“Don’t buy me coffee anymore, Potter.” Those brown eyes look so sad. Regulus feels like a monster.

“I won’t if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you.” For everything, he thinks but doesn't say. “I’ll stop wasting your time. Goodbye, James.”

“Regulus–” James hurries to stand but Regulus is already barreling out the door, his books pressed to his heart exploding in his chest. It hurts, but he’s doing James a favor. He’s letting him go before he can do something stupid like get attached.

Regulus goes home, feeling like the shittiest person alive for hurting James. He's sure he broke his heart, because James didn’t guard anything from Regulus. He bared his neck and Regulus was more than happy to carve him open and dig in his claws, just because he could. Regulus never knew the difference between killing and loving.

But James deserves whatever small kindness Regulus possesses.

He climbs into his bed and types a number into his phone. He bites at one of his nails as it rings.

“Hello?” the voice asks civilly. Regulus summons every scrap of courage he possesses.

“I’m sorry. I think I broke your friend’s heart.” The voice pauses, but doesn’t hang up.

“Regulus…” the silence between them seeps farther than the distance, more vitriol than the accusations spewed between them. Why does a part of Regulus forgive Sirius the minute he says his name? “I’m sorry,” his brother says quickly. “It’s not my business if you’re with James. I was just jealous he got to see you when I didn’t. You don’t have to break up with him for me. Heaven knows he’s crazy about you.”

“I am breaking up with him,” he says, quickly, "and it has nothing to do with you except that you were right the other day. He’s going to be a mess for a bit, until he realizes it’s for the better. I want you to take care of him because I can’t anymore.”

Sirius’ voice is soft, like he’s speaking to a wounded animal. “Regulus? You know you deserve love too, right?”

He squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t have time for this. “Just promise you’ll make sure he’s okay, Sirius. It’s the only favor I’ll ever ask for, and then you can go back to your perfect life, just like you wanted it.”

“I don’t want you gone, Reggie,” he says softly.

“Don’t call me that.” The response is immediate.

“Sorry,” he says, though he doesn’t sound all that apologetic about it. “I'll be there for James, I promise. But you can’t get rid of me that easily. Just so you know.” It takes him a moment to muster a reply.

“I’ll see you around, Sirius.”

He’s not sure if he’s imagining the bittersweet smile in his voice.

“You'd better. I’m glad to have you back.”

Chapter Text

Three weeks later

James struggles with his tie in the mirror for seven minutes before giving up and stepping into the hallway where Remus and Peter are impatiently waiting. Remus sighs and grabs James’ collar to expertly arrange his tie.

“It's a little bit crass to have your hands on another man en route to your boyfriend’s concert,” James teases. Remus pulls tighter, seemingly in retribution.

“You’re generally too tall and not Sirius Black enough to be my type.”

“My loss.”

“Truly.”

“Are you two done flirting?” Peter asks, exasperated.

“Yep.” James throws his suit jacket over his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

They reach the lobby of the university music hall to find the girls already impatiently waiting. Lily walks up and forcefully grabs James’ hand, leading the group into the dark auditorium. “About time, Potter. They’re about to start.” Sure enough, as soon as they’re in their seats, the doors are closing and the MC is taking the stage.

The orchestra is introduced. Mary waves fanatically at Sirius where he is standing regally at the timpani. Sharp grey eyes flick over the audience, searching. He smiles when he spots them, sending a sultry wink to Remus. Then, his eyes catch on something in the balcony and a wild grin overtakes his face.

James doesn’t have time to contemplate the reason as the music begins in earnest, pouring through the room in waves. He cheers along with the audience as the first pieces conclude. The full group separates, leaving a string band.

The evening continues, showcasing different instruments and styles with pieces ranging in complexity and showmanship. Eventually, the stage clears, and a team of stagehands wheel on a grand piano. Sirius appears beside them in his perfectly fitted black tuxedo, trying to help push the piano until he is forcibly shooed away. He gives the audience a disappointed shrug that earns a few laughs. He begins gracefully clapping for the stage hands as they exit and the audience joins in.

“He has everyone eating out of the palm of his hand,” Marlene whispers.

“What did you expect?” Peter whispers back, only a touch sardonic. “He’s always the star of the show.” James examines Remus’ side profile, shadowed by the stage lights and gazing forward in rapt attention, pride glinting in his amber eyes. James thanks every star above that Sirius is adored by that man.

Sirius sits gracefully at the piano, brushing back the strands of hair escaping from his bun. His pale fingers ghost the keys as the room holds its breath. Then he begins to play.

James has heard the piece before. Rite of Spring, it’s called, and while he has happily listened to Sirius explain its lasting cultural and musical significance before, he can’t remember the slightest bit of it now. Any rational thought would pale against the melodic cacophony Sirius draws from the bone white and ebony keys before him now.

Every note is an attack, building in intensity and spiraling apart only to knit back into place at the last moment. His fingers fly so fast they blur at times, only to return to the soft lull of the melody at once. At one point, Sirius stands and hits the top of the piano in time to the rapid movement of his other hand. It’s hypnotic. It’s controversial. It’s organized madness.

It’s exactly the sort of song Sirius’ parents would hate with every fiber of their souls.

And every note is astoundingly correct.

Sirius stands up from the piano to a standing ovation. He might be blushing shyly at the audience now, but James knows he’s secretly basking in the praise. His point is only proven when he takes almost as long to get off the stage as the piano does. The audience won’t stop clapping for him.

James should be forgiven for hardly paying attention to the next violin player, although he's sure she played excellently. Still, when the MC gives his dismissal, James barrels out of that theatre looking for only one person. Marlene follows close on his heels, grabbing his arm to stop his rapid pursuit.

“The musicians won’t be out yet, you know.” He grumbles in return and takes up a stance waiting near the wall of the lobby. Marlene slips away to the flower vendor’s stand as the rest of their friends trickle out of the theatre to join him. Lily appears to be crying, consoled by Mary, who seems to be holding back from laughing at her.

“Fuck. Why is he so talented? Every day I see him and I think he’s an absolute moron but he’s actually a talented absolute moron.”

“That might be the highest compliment Sirius has ever received,” Peter muses. Marlene returns, appearing on the outskirts of the circle with a bouquet of deep pink roses. She shoves them into Remus’ arms, ignoring his look of surprise.

“Thanks?” he says hesitantly. She gives a world weary sigh.

“They’re to get you laid, Lupin. Jesus. How did you pull him in the first place? Never mind–” She abruptly pushes him forward as Sirius appears across the room. “Just thank me later.”

Sirius spots Remus and James' heads over the crowd and begins to fight his way toward them, slowed down by the constant earnest congratulations from the people around him. Marlene and Remus manage to have an entire argument communicated through only their eyes by the time he reaches them. Sirius heads straight to Remus, gazing up at his boyfriend through his dark lashes.

“Hi,” Sirius whispers. Mary buries her face in Lily’s shoulder, trying to hide the fact that she is silently losing it.

“Hi,” Remus says back smoothly. Marlene facepalms with a groan.

Sirius gives a barking laugh. He gestures to the bouquet with his chin, a gleam in his eye.

“Are those for me?” Remus looks down at the flowers like he’s never seen them before.

“These? No, these are for someone else. The guy who played the triangle maybe. Was there a triangle?” An amused smile snakes its way up Sirius’ face.

“Right. Well, why don’t I pass them along to him?” Remus pretends to consider the question, before shaking his head sharply.

“I don’t think so. Security issue, I’m sure you understand.” Sirius steps closer, a challenge in his eyes. He reaches stealthily for the flowers but Remus steps in quickly and grabs his wrist, pulling him close with a blinding smile as Sirius tries to take the bouquet one-handed. He lunges for it but Remus extends his arm over his head and holds it aloft, well out of Sirius’ reach. Sirius grapples at his shoulders for purchase, his playful expression darkening and his body flush against Remus. He leans in close, his voice dropping.

“You never play fair, Moony.” Remus tilts his head down to meet him, his gleeful smirk showing teeth.

“Where’s the fun in that?” James snatches the bouquet from Remus’ hand to save it as Remus pulls Sirius against him so fast he almost knocks him off his feet. Sirius kisses Remus immediately, rising on tiptoes in his dress shoes to reach. People around them begin to clap, a few shrill whistles and good-natured cat calls echoing from Sirius’ classmates. Lily has her phone out, wide-eyed and recording. James turns to Marlene in horror as Sirius and Remus stubbornly cease to stop their very public debacle.

“Fuck. How did you know that would work?” She stares him down, nonplussed.

“Please. Those two barely need an excuse to start eating each other’s faces.” Peter marches over and attempts to pull Sirius off Remus, angrily arguing for public decency. James and Mary suddenly meet eyes and the next moment they’re both laughing uncontrollably.

“Oh, I’m glad you think this is funny!” Peter shouts back at them. Remus and Sirius have finally seemed to calm down, though they’re still pressed flush together and kissing lovingly between whispered words.

“Absolutely revolting,” says a voice nearby that makes James’ heart stop in his chest.

James freezes in shock at the familiar sight of Regulus Black, standing beside Lily with a disgusted sneer. His perfectly fitted dark suit hangs off him like a model, the color striking against his pale skin. The fingers playing with the end of his crimson tie leave James’ mouth suddenly dry.

James’ would be inclined to think this is a dream if they were alone and a whole lot closer.

But Regulus isn’t here for him.

“Baby Black?” Mary enthusiastically pulls Regulus into a hug that he immediately and avidly resists. “What are you doing here?!”

“Don’t call me that!” He successfully fights his way out of her arms. “I came to watch my idiot brother perform. That’s it.” Sirius finally separates from Remus to happily bound over and throw his arm around Regulus. They’re almost the height. Fuck, they look very similar, and their formal wear does not ease the comparison.

“What do you think, Reggie? Does Mother regret putting me in all those lessons yet?” Regulus scoffs haughtily.

“Mother regrets having children.”

“I inferred that early on in our childhood, actually.” Peter watches this exchange with a look of fear.

“There’s two of them now.” Regulus looks aghast at Peter.

“You know I’m nothing like him.”

“You’re right. I’ve never seen Sirius kiss James quite like you have.” The group falls quiet as James and Regulus carefully avoid meeting the other’s eyes.

“Sure you have,” Sirius declares bravely into the blaring silence, stepping forward to grab James by the collar and awkwardly kiss him on the lips. Regulus’ grey eyes follow the movement intently. Sirius pulls back with a forcibly casual grin. “Who here hasn’t wanted to kiss James?”

“I should go,” Regulus says methodically. James’ pulse quickens in sudden panic.

“Stay, Reg, please?” Sirius asks quickly. “We’re going out for drinks, you can come with us.” Regulus looks at his brother, options weighing in his stormy eyes.

“Fine,” he relents. The next thing James knows, Sirius is leading the way out to the street, pulling Regulus by the arm and into a fervent conversation.

“Sorry,” Peter whispers as James stares after them. He shakes himself from his daze and claps his friend on the shoulder.

“It’s fine, Pete, let’s catch up to them.” They trail behind the others as they walk to a nearby bar. Everyone can feel the tension seeping between James and Regulus, and everyone is pretending it isn’t there.

Lily grabs his elbow and pulls him to the side as the others head for the counter. “Potter? Are you okay?” James’ eyes are fixed on Regulus as he gives the bartender his order.

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” Lily stares at him like he’s an idiot.

“Your ex showed up, you went deadly silent, and won’t stop staring at him morosely.”

“I was going for brooding.”

“James.” He closes his eyes, laughing a bit at himself.

“What can I say, Lily? I love them, so I’m not going to get in the way of them becoming brothers again, even if seeing him kills me. I’ll steer clear or I’ll try to be his friend, and eventually it won’t hurt this much.”

“Do you think that’ll actually work?” she asks him softly. He meets her eyes.

“It worked when it was you.” She stares at him for a long moment, in awe or pity.

“Jesus Christ, James,” she mutters. She puts a steady hand on his shoulder and steers him decisively toward the bar. “Alright. Let’s get you a drink.”

So he lets Lily order him one drink, and Peter pays for his next. His life seems less drastically depressing once the alcohol hits his blood stream. Life also improves when his self control wanes enough to start shamelessly studying Regulus’ beautifully flushed side profile.

Tensions finally ease and the conversation between them begins to flow more easily. He watches as Peter gets looped into discussing a hockey game with strangers, and Mary convinces Marlene to dance with her. Remus is mid remark to Regulus when Sirius aggressively butts his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder like a dog wanting attention. Regulus laughs at that. James tries to file the sound away, hoping in his intoxicated state that he’ll be able to replay it like a record.

James forces himself to tear his gaze away when Regulus walks toward the bathroom. James’ next glance at Sirius and Remus reveals that they’re kissing again. Lily pries his empty glass out his hand and leads him away from the counter.

“Come on, Potter. I know you’ve got moves.” He follows gratefully, deciding at once to shake Regulus from his mind. Be present. Take that dance from Lily Evans he didn’t get all those years ago.

He takes her hand and holds it over her head, spinning her in place. She laughs, red hair gleaming under the multicolored lights. Her hands slide over his shoulders and the next moment they’re swaying, his hands on her hips.

“Evans?” The name trips in his mouth.

“Yeah?”

“You’re a good friend,” he says simply. She smiles back at him, green eyes glinting happily.

“So are you.”

“Prongs!” Sirius suddenly appears beside them, throwing his arms around James’ neck. Lily pulls away, huffing good-naturedly about dance partner theft. James leans down to where Sirius’ face is buried in his neck.

“How drunk are you?”

“Mmh. Probably more than you.” He leans in and pushes Sirius’ hair behind his ear.

“Your performance earlier was amazing. I’m so proud of you, Pads.” He lifts his head, beaming gratefully at James.

“I love you,” he whispers loudly.

“I love you, too,” James obnoxiously whispers back. Remus chooses that moment to step in, prying an agreeable Sirius from James’ arms.

“Stop cheating on me,” Remus deadpans. Sirius happily drapes himself over Remus.

“I like when you get jealous. Makes you possessive in bed.”

“Gross. I did not want to know that,” says Regulus, appearing beside Sirius. He doesn’t even glance at James. “Anyway, as fun as this was, I’m leaving now.”

Sirius’ eyes widen and he quickly stands upright. “Okay, just let me walk you home.” Regulus crosses his arms over his chest.

“You don’t need to protect me, Sirius. Stay here with your friends. I’ll be fine.” Sirius looks like he wants to protest, but James’ impulsiveness cuts in faster.

“I’ll take you home.” For the first time that night, Regulus looks at James, cold disbelief in those familiar starlit eyes. James takes a step back, suddenly realizing how his intentions could be misconstrued. He curses himself for his stupidity. “Sorry. That came out so wrong. I just mean that if you do want someone to walk you home, I can. If you don’t want me to, that's perfectly fine.” He holds his breath, meeting Regulus’ calculated gaze.

“Okay,” he says coldly before turning on his heel. James watches the shift of his shoulders as he casually makes his way toward the door. Sirius snaps his fingers in front of James’ face, drawing his attention.

“Do not fuck this up, James.”

“I won’t,” he promises quickly, turning to chase after Regulus. Lily says his name and he shouts an incomprehensible goodbye, practically tripping over his feet in his mad pursuit of the door. He pushes in the night air and spots Regulus walking away. He walks far too quickly to catch up and then slows to match his pace, his heart in his throat.

“Hi,” is the best James can muster.

“Why are you here, James?” Regulus stares straight ahead. His steps do not waver. James exhales, steeling himself.

“You wouldn't let Sirius go with you, and I wanted to make sure you get home safely.”

“Statistically speaking, I’m less safe with my ex-boyfriend than I would be alone.” He looks at James then, his expression carefully guarded. Searching for a reaction, James realizes.

“I’d never hurt you. But I’m sorry and I understand why you might feel uncomfortable. I’ll go back to the bar if you tell me to.”

“I don’t care,” Regulus says matter-of-factly. “I’m not scared of you.” James is instantly relieved but stays wisely silent until Regulus speaks again. “You’ve been staring at me all night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t get it.” Regulus’ face is shadowed by the street lights above, his mouth a troubled line. James resists the urge to reach out. He turns to James, stopping suddenly. “If you want me so badly, why didn’t you fight for me?”

James looks at him, this time without hiding it. Regulus stands perfectly still, eyes wide and vulnerable.

“You told me not to,” James says softly. “I respect you even if I wasn't happy about your decision.” Regulus brings his arms up around himself, his expression torn.

“I didn’t leave you because I didn't want you anymore. I did it because I lied and betrayed you. I thought you’d be happier without me.” James glances upward with a sigh, disbelieving but unsurprised.

“I’m not happier. I miss you constantly.” Regulus’ breath shakes.

“It’s like I can’t stand anything good happening to me. I don’t know how to live with it, so I sabotage it instead.” Regulus’ arms are curled tight around himself, his eyes closed like he could disappear if he could only block the world out. James won’t let him disappear. He wouldn't want a world without him.

“Regulus. Look at me, please?” His eyes are wet with tears, hesitantly rising to meet his. James desperately needs to get his right. “There’s nothing wrong with who you are. I know your parents made you feel like there was. But I know you, so I know you’re a good person. You’re a good friend and you were a wonderful boyfriend. Anybody would be lucky to date you. It’s okay to have doubts, but I wish you would have told me before acting on them. I didn’t know what went wrong or if there was any way to fix it. If we had had this conversation then, I would have tried to convince you to stay, but you didn’t give me the chance.” Regulus looks heartbroken in his tailored suit, years younger with tears running down his face. James is struck with a flashback of 16-year-old Sirius, shaking from cold and fear as snow fell on the Potter’s front porch. James holds out his arms more for his own benefit than Regulus’. “Come here?”

Regulus steps forward immediately, and just like that he’s back in James’ arms again. It isn’t the same, he forcibly reminds himself as Regulus tucks his face into the crook of his neck. He’s not yours to keep. He never was.

So James doesn’t get to hug him tighter. He doesn’t get to cradle his face in his hands. He doesn’t get to kiss his forehead reverently. He doesn’t get to say ‘I love you”.

He’s not allowed the truth. All James gets is to pull away far too soon and level a gentle, terribly awkward punch at Regulus’ shoulder.

“Let’s get you home, Reg.”

All he can do is smile painfully as his mind relentlessly reminds him of everything he ever wanted but didn't get to keep.

Chapter Text

Regulus wakes up with the startling realization that he fucked everything up last night. Whatever progress he had made in distancing himself from James was completely destroyed when, in an alcohol and emotion fueled bout of honesty, he laid the core of his deepest insecurities down like an offering at James’ feet.

And naturally James had to be both forgiving and kind in return. James slipped so easily back into the role of Regulus’ devotee, but only because he was too nice to leave Regulus alone with the rightful consequences of his actions.

He might have assured Regulus that he was worthy of love, but last night surely proved to James that he dodged a bullet.

And just because Regulus regrets losing the only good thing he ever had doesn’t mean James would be foolish enough to take him back.

Regulus can hope despite the odds as well as any other closet romantic.

So he unblocks James’ number, feeling deeply guilty that he hadn’t done so days, if not weeks ago. He’ll apologize for that now, as well as the flaming disaster that was last night. He’s definitely not trying to get James back. He might admittedly be testing the waters before plotting a venture in that direction.

Him
9:24 am

Regulus: hey I’m sorry about last night

Regulus: you should’ve have had to deal with that

Regulus: I’ve just been a dick to you in general the last few weeks

Regulus: I’m so sorry James

Regulus: you don’t have to respond to this at all I understand if you never want to talk to me again honestly

9:30

James: apology accepted

James: and last night was not a problem I’m just worried I upset you

James: but I think talking might have been good for us to sort out our misunderstandings

Regulus: yeah I’m just embarrassed for breaking down on you like that

James: no that was fine I just hope I wasn’t taking advantage with the hug you seemed a little bit drunk

Regulus: do not apologize for hugging me when I was crying god you’re so respectful it hurts

James: how about we both agree we have nothing left to apologize for

Regulus:

Regulus: I don’t like it

James: please

Regulus: fine but only because you asked

James: great

James: well

James: I hope I’ll to see you around Regulus

Regulus: you too James

James: take good care of yourself love

James: shit sorry

Regulus: I thought we agreed no apologizing

Regulus:

Regulus: I love you too James

Regulus stares at his phone in mute horror. Well.

At least James won’t worry he crossed a line.

Snakes and Adders
9:35

Regulus: SOMEONE KILL ME

Regulus: I JUST TEXTED MY FUCKING EX THAT I LOVE HIM

Regulus: WHAT DO I DO

Barty: say no homo quick to fix it

Regulus: HE KNOWS IM GAY THAT IS NOT A SOLUTION HERE

Evan: calm down Reg you’re going to be okay

Pandora: oh my god

Pandora: it’s okay that you love him Regulus

Pandora: it’ll work out

Regulus: how? I ruined my entire life and dragged the best person I know down with me

Barty: no? my life is fine?

Dorcas: Reg breathe

Dorcas: you doing that?

Regulus: unfortunately

Dorcas: Regulus you love James

Regulus: yeah? I just texted him that which is the entire problem!

Dorcas: he loves you back

Regulus: I don’t know that

Regulus: not anymore

Evan: Regulus

Evan: you know he does

Regulus: so what? How the hell do I fix this other than fleeing the country?

Dorcas: for christs sake

Dorcas: just take your man back black

Regulus: I don’t know how

Barty: ur Regulus Black

Barty: It is not hard for you to get what you want

Regulus’ mind is racing through the implications of that statement when his phone pings with a message from outside the group chat. He’s relieved that it isn’t James, but certain he will not enjoy this conversation either.

Lupin
9: 51
Remus: not to sound judgmental but what the fuck are you trying to accomplish with James rn

Regulus: please tell me Sirius doesn’t know

Remus: he doesn’t thanks to me

Remus: I convinced James that Sirius would pick a fight with you if he told him

Remus: which he very much would btw

Remus: so you're going to tell me your intentions with James or it will be your brother asking instead

Regulus: I don’t know

Regulus: I love him

Remus: those two statements do not go together

Regulus: How the fuck am I supposed to know what to do? Yeah I want him but is it worth ruining his fucking life?

Remus: have you considered that you might be ruining his life if you choose to abandon your relationship

Regulus: no. he doesn’t need me to be happy

Remus: maybe but you help

Regulus: i dont want to hear this lupin

Remus: what if you’re everything that james every wanted and if you give up on him now he’ll live the rest of his life missing the something he only could have found with you

Remus: I'm of the personal opinion that soulmates exist Regulus

Remus: and James certainly thought you were his

Regulus: of course he did

Regulus:

Regulus: you asked my intentions toward James

Regulus: the last class i’ll ever have with him is this wednesday

Regulus: I’ll find out then if this true love shit is real

Chapter Text

Somehow Remus convinces James not to panic over Regulus' texts. Technically, he still panics immensely but he is coerced into waiting a few days to let Regulus sort out his feelings. James definitely doesn’t want to scare him off.

He also can’t wait much longer knowing Regulus is out there somewhere loving him back.

He manages to keep his cool until Wednesday morning. He goes through the line at his usual coffee shop and instinctively adds a black coffee to his order. It’s official. He’s talking to Regulus Black this morning, one way or another.

Regulus is yet to arrive at their poetry class when James gets there, so he takes his seat and watches the door with a single-minded focus. 5 minutes before the bell, Regulus steps inside, grey eyes meeting James’ dead-on. He’s wearing a cute black sweater vest and that green tie James complimented after their first class together. He’s holding something covered in brown paper.

Flowers, James’ brain pitches in after Regulus has crossed the space to stand right in front of him. He bought James flowers.

“James—“ In an instant James is standing, his body mere inches from Regulus’. He reaches out instinctively and strokes the side of Regulus’ upturned face, his hand trembling. Regulus leans into his touch and James’ heart nearly explodes in his chest.

“I missed you every second, Regulus—“

“Please, wait.” Regulus’ eyes set determinedly and he shoves the flowers into James’ arms. “You have to let me humiliate myself in public for you first.”

James watches in utmost confusion as Regulus marches himself to the lecture stand and wildly waves his hands over his head. The professor watches from her desk with a questioning scowl, but she appears too intrigued to intervene.

“Excuse me! Everyone! Hi,” Regulus says awkwardly as their class stares at him blankly. “I, um, know this American poetry but I’d like to read you a poem by John Keats.” He looks at James, giving him a sweet, nervous smile. “You know who it’s for.” Regulus glances away, clears his throat, and begins to recite:

“You say you love; but with a voice
Chaster than a nun’s, who singeth
The soft vespers to herself
While the chime-bell ringeth—
O love me truly!

You say you love; but with a smile
Cold as sunrise in September,
As you were Saint Cupid’s nun,
And kept his weeks of Ember—
O love me truly!

You say you love; but then your lips
Coral tinted teach no blisses,
More than coral in the sea—
They never pout for kisses—
O love me truly!

You say you love; but then your hand
No soft squeeze for squeeze returneth;
It is like a statue’s, dead,—
While mine for passion burneth—
O love me truly!

O breathe a word or two of fire!
Smile, as if those words should burn me,
Squeeze as lovers should—O kiss
And in thy heart inurn me—
O love me truly!”

Regulus stops his passionate declaration, cheeks blazing red as his gaze settles on James. There is no mistaking the hunger in his eyes.

Mrs. Beelan starts slow clapping from her desk. It is the only sound that dares interrupt Regulus’ heavy breathing.

“Very entertaining, Mr. Arcturus, but kindly sit down.”

“Mr. Black, technically,” Regulus informs the class, seemingly in a daze. He turns without another word and awkwardly makes his way toward his seat. James holds his coffee aloft in the aisle and Regulus takes it wordlessly on his way by.

Minutes tick away laboriously. In those last dwindling moments of the class, James tries so hard not to glance back at Regulus.

James thinks Eurydice must have been distant and mean to Orpheus before she became his everything.

The bell rings, and Regulus is by his side, practically dragging him into the hallway. James holds his bouquet in one hand and pushes Regulus furtively into an empty classroom by the other. The door slams closed behind them and James instantly has Regulus against a desk.

“I’m never letting you go again. Ever,” James snaps into his ear. Regulus’ hips are locked tightly between James and the desk, his breath erratic against James’ neck. Pale ringed hands snake up to James’ hair, finding purchase in his wild curls, soft lips ghosting his jaw.

“No more leaving," he agrees. "Don’t let me.” Fingers tug at James’ hair, his heartrate accelerating in a rush as Regulus’ hips roll forward. “I need you so badly. Fuck, James, you don’t even know how long–”

“Not here.” Somehow James summons the strength to pull away despite his every instinct urging him back in. He would not be doing Regulus a favor if they got caught hooking up in a university classroom. “You’re coming home with me. Now,” James demands. Regulus looks up at him with parted lips and wide, pleading eyes.

“I love you,” he says sweetly.

James is back on him in an instant. Their lips collide and Regulus lets him in, moaning into his mouth as James attacks the black-coffee taste of his tongue, desperate to drink him in. Regulus’ legs bracket James’ thigh and James’ self control fights an arduous uphill battle to finally pull away as Regulus grinds his hips forward.

“Do not say another word until we are home or we will pay dearly for my actions.” Regulus looks up at him wordlessly, his face flushed beautifully pink. James smiles at him worshipfully. “But holy fuck, Reg, I love you, too.” Regulus blushes brighter and takes his hand, pulling him quickly into the emptied hallway. James’ apartment is a block away but the hurried walk seems like an eternity right now.

James fumbles excitedly with his keys before successfully getting the door open. Regulus bounds inside with an eager smile on his face, kneeling in the entryway to untie his dark green converse. In the blink of an eye, James removes his own shoes and unceremoniously drops the bouquet. He darts forward, grabs Regulus securely, and scoops him up in his arms. Regulus gives a startled yelp and throws his arms around his neck, righting his weight in James’ grasp.

James finishes removing those green converse and bends to set them neatly on the floor. Regulus remains perfectly still and uncharacteristically compliant in his arms. James blows playfully at his carefully styled bangs.

“Are you still mine until I drop you?” Regulus’ expression softens and he nuzzles closer to James, a nearly disbelieving smile on his lips.

“I’m just yours,” he whispers against James' neck.

Sirius is going to kill him for this and James absolutely does not care.

He tips his head and presses a kiss to Regulus’ jaw, fixated on the soft eyelashes that flutter closed blissfully. He fights to regain his voice. It comes out with an unfamiliar gravelly quality. “May I take you to my room please?” Regulus gives a breathy exhale that might be a laugh.

“You certainly may.” James studies him with a pout.

“Are you making fun of me?” Regulus makes a soft noise of affirmation against his ear.

“Always.” James pouts harder.

“I could drop you.”

“You won’t.”

“Wanna bet?” he whispers dangerously, playfully lessening his grip. Regulus levels him with a pout of his own, unfairly beautiful as always.

“Jamie,” he murmurs, voice low. James’ heart stalls a beat.

“Convincing argument. I’m never dropping you,” he announces, clutching Regulus tighter. He turns the knob on his bedroom door and Regulus lowers his mouth to sinfully suck on James’ collarbone, successfully derailing any coherent train of thought from his head. He reverently lays Regulus down on his bed. Regulus grabs his collar and aggressively yanks him down on top of him. James laughs delightedly, carefully arranging his limbs around Regulus. “How’d I know you’d be demanding in bed?” he asks playfully. Regulus winds his hands tighter in his shirt with a determined glare, and the next thing James knows he’s pinned to the bed with Regulus sitting primly on top of him. “For the record, I’m very fine with this, too,” James admits, more than a little turned on.

“I know,” Regulus says, grabbing James’ shirt and pulling it over his head in one swift movement. He throws it to the side and proceeds to stare unabashedly at James’ muscles, running his fingers over his chest intently. His eyes rise to meet James’, his pupils wide and cheeks flushed. “You’re beautiful.”

“Oh,” is James’ articulate response. Regulus leans down and kisses him, slow and purposeful. James’ fingers find the knot of his tie, awkwardly freeing his throat. He starts undoing the buttons of Regulus’ shirt, travelling down the V-neck of his vest.

“Jamie.” The panic in his voice immediately stops James’ hands. They quickly move to cradle Regulus’ nape.

“Sorry. Shirt stays on?” Regulus exhales, his shoulders relaxing with a small nod.

“I promise I’ll learn to deal with it.” One look at his face and James is shifting Regulus’ weight backward in his lap so he can sit up fully. He leans in and kisses Regulus softly.

“Please, never do anything for me that makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable. If you don’t love something, I don’t want to do it. Got it?” James asks, their faces close. Regulus’ expression melts, the look in his eyes so tender it hurts.

“Got it.” He cups James’ face, pulling him closer. “I love you so much, James Potter.”

“I love y–” He is cut off by Regulus attacking his mouth and forcefully shoving him back down on the mattress, but he thinks he got the general idea. Regulus’ hands rove over his chest hungrily as he steals the breath from James’ lungs. James is helpless to do anything but offer up everything he has to that mouth. One of his hands finds the warm sliver of Regulus’ exposed waist as the other shamelessly cups his ass. He impulsively tugs his boyfriend's hips downward, and Regulus suddenly breaks their kiss, gasping for breath. He meets James’ eyes, the look between them clear as day. Regulus leans down, kisses him softly, and reaches a hand between their legs.

“Hey James–” Sirius opens the door and his jaw drops, recoiling in avid horror. Regulus pulls his hand back faster than lightning and scrambles off of James’ lap to sit pressed against side. James tries to disguise the tent in his jeans as Sirius yells bloody murder.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! MY BROTHER, JAMES! MY INNOCENT BABY BROTHER! AND DON’T FUCKING TELL ME HE SEDUCED YOU! IT’S 10:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

“Good morning, Regulus,” Remus’ voice calls calmly from the living room.

“Hi,” Regulus calls back sheepishly.

“Pads, I swear I can explain,” James pleads with Sirius. He stares back venomously from the doorway, grey eyes murderous.

“Start explaining, then.” James falls completely silent, searching and not finding the words as Sirius glares daggers at him from across the room. Regulus sighs dramatically, picks James’ shirt up off the floor, and hands it to him.

“Alright, well, I’m out.” James goes to protest but Sirius beats him to it.

“We are not done talking about this,” Sirius hisses, blocking Regulus’ path out the door. Regulus grabs his tie off the bed, slips it around his neck, and ties it expertly.

“I’m fucking your friend or I’m leaving. Dealer's choice,” Regulus tells him calmly. Sirius pales in fear.

“Get out,” he demands. Regulus smirks at him ruthlessly.

“Smart choice. I’ll call you later, James.” He blows a kiss playfully over his shoulder, turning to stroll leisurely past Sirius. James watches his ass with devastated longing until he disappears from sight.

“I love you,” James calls after him despondently. Sirius stands there, scowling menacingly as James dejectedly lays back down. He glances up at Sirius, completely out of fucks to give. “I should have went back to his place."

Regulus ties his shoes and exits the apartment with a cocky smile, the deafening and definitive sound of his brother bodily attacking his boyfriend echoing behind him.

Chapter Text

“So, is James also studying this weekend?” Regulus glances at Dorcas over their table of textbooks, binders, and open laptops. It’s Saturday afternoon and they are practically camped out in the university library, finishing last minute essays and cramming for final exams starting Monday.

“He’d better be,” he says harshly. “It drove me crazy when he and Sirius didn’t give a shit about exams in high school.” She looks at him knowingly, one eyebrow raised.

“You didn’t talk to them back then.”

“I still paid attention.” She scoffs a laugh at his expense. “To my brother, not James,” he corrects quickly. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Meadowes.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll pretend you didn’t have a crush on him for years. You know, sometimes I wonder why Marlene and I didn’t date when we were younger. Then I remember that I was busy obsessively studying for my SATs and she was busy drunkenly flirting with straight cheerleaders at parties.”

“You shouldn’t have to worry too much about the competition, then.”

“Ha. Say what you will about Marls, at least she’s not a founding member of a boys’ club with a self-proclaimed group name. James is never recovering from that one.”

“Don’t lie. You thought we were cool.” Regulus turns in his chair at the sound of James’ voice, finding him leaning against a nearby table with Marlene. Lily is visible at the library checkout, having a conversation with the librarian. Regulus levels a glare at James.

“Were you eavesdropping?”

“Not for long.” James grins and drags a chair right beside Regulus’, his hand spreading over the small of his back as he sits. Regulus fights to hide his reaction but James is looking at Dorcas across the table. “For the record, we did not intend to be ‘a boy’s club’. We offered to let the girls join and they turned us down.”

“It was bad enough being friends with the four of you. We were not joining your secret club,” Marlene quips, pulling up a chair of her own and wrapping an arm around Dorcas’ shoulders. James stares at her, plainly distraught.

“We weren’t embarrassing, Marls. We were the infamous Marauders.” Regulus shifts his weight back against him, unreasonably happy just to listen to James pout.

“I can’t believe she would turn down being a Marauder,” Regulus supplies with a smile. James looks down at him, brown eyes soft as he leans in close.

“Exactly. You would join my group, wouldn’t you?” James’ voice drops. Regulus can feel the heat of his gaze flicking down to his lips. “If I asked nicely, I bet.”

“He’s already called for, Potter.” Dorcas’ voice reminds Regulus that they are not alone. Marlene snickers, glancing knowingly between him and James. Regulus is thoroughly disappointed when James backs off slightly. He is appeased when his arm around his waist slips down to his hip, his grip unconsciously possessive.

“If your friend group is better than mine, why doesn’t yours have a name?”

“Because we’re not twelve,” Regulus says, looking up at James. Marlene smiles from across the table, blue eyes suddenly devious.

“Oh, they have a name, alright.” James leans forward eagerly.

“What is it?” Regulus and Dorcas lock eyes, dread seeping between them.

“No, that name was never official, McKinnon. It was Crouch’s idea, we never signed off on it–”

“Why not?” Marlene gloats triumphantly. “Skittles suits you so well.” Dorcas pulls herself out of Marlene’s grip, sighing in distress. Regulus considers bashing his face into the table as James looks at him curiously.

“Why Skittles?”

“Fruit flavoured candy,” Regulus provides, his tone cold. James continues to stare at him intently, obviously waiting for more. Marlene just laughs maniacally when Regulus sighs. “We’re all queer and apparently snacks.” James’ face lights up appreciatively.

“That’s not bad, actually.” Dorcas turns to glare at him.

“Says the Marauder.” James’ personal offense is interrupted by Lily, approaching the table with books in hand and an amused look on her face.

“Am I interrupting a double date?” Marlene raises a suggestive eyebrow at her, leisurely sprawled in her chair. She knits her fingers on the table like a scheming business executive.

“I have a better question, Evans. Why isn’t this a triple date?” Regulus and Dorcas lock eyes across the table, immediately picking up on Marlene’s plan. James looks between them obliviously. Lily just laughs nervously.

“Well, I’m not dating anyone at the moment.”

“Is there no one you want to be dating at the moment?” Dorcas asks, one eyebrow raised innocently. “Someone you have mutual feelings for who you've been spending a lot of time with lately?” Lily stands there, contemplating the question long enough for James to get up and bring her a chair. That seems to break her from her daze.

“Thanks,” she says, sitting down at the head of the table. “Um. I really can’t think of anyone? No one’s shown that they’re interested in me, and I’ve been busy with school. The only people I hang out with are my friends, and I have more fun with them than I ever do on dates. Last Sunday, Pandora and I went to the art museum downtown, and I thought we were going to get kicked out with how hard we were laughing. She’s hilarious so I couldn’t even make myself feel guilty. We went for supper afterward, one of those nice seafood restaurants by the harbour. I had a great night. Why would I look for a boyfriend when I’m that happy with a female friend?” The four of them stare at Lily, their expressions unfathomably disappointed. Marlene looks like she’s close to tears.

“For someone so smart, you’re a moron sometimes, Lily Evans.” Lily opens her mouth to protest but Regulus cuts her off.

“Evans,” he says slowly. “She likes you.” Lily frowns at him.

“You’d better not mean Marlene.” Dorcas buries her face in her hands, swearing under her breath.

“Not me, you moron,” Marlene snaps. “The girl you’re going on dates with and texting at all hours of the night while inexplicably believing your relationship is platonic.” Lily’s green eyes widen, understanding dawning slowly.

“Oh. You mean–”

“Yes,” Regulus declares pointedly. “And I’m frankly sick of hearing her rant about how much she likes you but worries you don’t reciprocate, so you’re going to sit down and tell her.” Lily jumps to her feet, her eyes wild.

“She likes me romantically? You’re sure?”

“Yes,” he and Dorcas snap at the same time.

“Okay, shit, I get it. What should I do?” she asks, panicked.

“You know where she and I live?” Dorcas asks calmly. Lily nods. “She’s home. She’ll let you in.”

“Okay,” Lily repeats, seemingly in shock. She hefts her books off the table. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey,” Regulus says as she’s turning away. Lily looks back at him, swallowing nervously. “Don’t break my friend’s heart, Evans.”

“I promise,” she says, green eyes genuine, “I won’t.”

“Lils,” James says softly, a comforting smile for her benefit. “Good luck.” After a moment she smiles back, and then she turns and walks away, her stride confident. Marlene waits until she’s out of sight before groaning dramatically.

“Thank fuck, I thought she was never going to figure that one out.”

“Well, we helped,” Dorcas corrects, slumping back against her girlfriend. Regulus feels James’ gaze on his profile and turns to look at him.

“What?” Regulus asks. James hums, studying his face.

“How long were you planning on staying here?”

“Until it closes.” He keeps his expression blank as James’ face falls. Regulus grins devilishly. “Just kidding. I will be here for at least a couple more hours though.” James frowns, bringing their foreheads together in a pout. “Don’t look at me like that. You have finals too. Have you finished your poetry essay yet?”

“I haven’t started it,” James tells him sheepishly. Regulus stares at him in disbelief.

“Potter,” he hisses.

“I know, baby, I should have–”

“You’re writing it. Here and now.”

“Okay, I will–”

“When you’re done it,” Regulus interrupts, meeting his eyes harshly. “And after I’ve looked it over…” His eyes sink to his lips, his expression softening in a way James’ posture immediately picks up on. He leans in a little, the motion as teasing as his eye contact. “You can take me home.”

He hears James inhale. “Yeah?” Regulus smirks, before turning back to his own laptop.

“Yeah,” he says, low and sultry. It does the trick because James stands up abruptly and bolts across the library to reach the nearest desktop computer. Regulus looks up at Dorcas and Marlene, watching in amusement. “That should buy me 45 uninterrupted minutes.” Marlene laughs to herself.

“I don’t know if he can last that long.” Dorcas smacks her on the arm, but she’s grinning too. Regulus just rolls his eyes and turns back to his calculus notes.
It turns out Regulus gets an hour and 20 minutes of uninterrupted time before James proudly pulls him over to read through his essay. Regulus examines it carefully.

“You can use stronger adjectives in your opening paragraph, and cut the third sentence. Should make for a more concise and compelling opening.” A few minutes and he’s reading it over again, slightly distracted by James’ earnest brown eyes searching his.

“Is that better?”

“Yeah,” Regulus says, impressed despite himself. “This is going to sound mean, but you’re a better writer than I expected. This essay is amazing, James.” He logs out quickly, his eyes never leaving Regulus’.

“I was motivated. Your place or mine?” Regulus feels an unfamiliar smile breaking through his exterior. God help him, he’s excited at the prospect of getting James alone despite all the work he still has to do.

“Mine. Less interruptions.” James grins devilishly and grabs his hand, pulling him back to the table. He insists on carrying everything, leaving Regulus awkwardly empty handed but practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. James notices, a flattered glint appearing in his eyes. Dorcas laughs at Regulus’ expression, packing up much slower. Marlene gives a loud whistle as he and James exit the library, drawing the librarian’s irritated attention.

Regulus narrowly manages to keep his hands from shaking as he unlocks his apartment door. James walks inside, unperturbed as he sets his armload of Regulus’ belongings on the table. Regulus stands with his back to the door, suddenly and inexplicably nervous.

“Where do you want me?” He hears his own voice, embarrassingly shy. James smiles at him, his gaze flicking up and down his body appreciatively.

“Couch,” he says simply, his voice dipping lower. Regulus feels himself nodding eagerly. He goes to step past James only for him to catch his wrist, spinning Regulus against him gently. James leans down and kisses him softly, a blissful exhale escaping his full lips. “I love you so much, baby.” Regulus preens happily upward, kissing James’ throat.

“I love you more.” He spins away, settling cross legged on the couch and pleased to have the last word. James looks after him for a moment, eyes soft. Regulus is surprised when James enters the kitchen instead, carefully examining his coffee maker. Regulus watches in patient confusion as James makes a pot of coffee, pouring milk into one and leaving the other black. He walks them both over to Regulus, setting the mugs primly on the coffee table. Regulus squints at him, his brain racing to understand. “I’m sorry, what are we doing right now?”

James ignores his question, leaving space between them on the couch. “What would you be doing next if you were still at the library?” Regulus contemplates the question.

“Studying for my accounting exam, but–”

“Perfect. That’s what we’re doing.” James steps to the table before Regulus can protest, bringing back his laptop and an accounting textbook. He holds it up for him to see. “Is this the right one, love?”

“Yes, that’s the right…” His voice trails off as James sprawls himself down on the couch, back propped against a throw pillow and legs spread comfortably. He holds his arms out to Regulus, his tone demanding.

“Come here, Reggie.” Regulus, as a rule, does not like that nickname. He definitely shouldn’t like being ordered around in his own apartment. His emotional reaction to James saying those words tells a very different story.

His heart pounds as he sits between James’ legs, his back to his chest and warm breath on his neck. “Good,” James hums, pushing a strand of his hair gently behind his ear. He offers Regulus his laptop, watching as he settles it in on his thighs. Strong arms wind around his waist and James kisses his hair. “Now teach me about accounting.”

It’s a gesture that’s incredibly thoughtful of James, but disappointing in the exact moment that Regulus would like nothing better than to neglect his studies in favor of being fucked into his couch cushions. He barely resists outwardly admitting so, but he really does need to study. James holding him and listening to him with undivided interest is at least a sensation of its own.

“I’m taking you out after finals,” Regulus decides aloud. “I’ll plan a whole day and you’ll just have to follow along and look pretty.” James smiles, lightly nuzzling his jaw.

“I’ll look forward to it. Now start studying so you’ll graduate with honors and become my insanely successful breadwinner husband.” Regulus laughs but obediently types in his password.

“I see. You’re vying to be a trophy husband.”

“Absolutely.” James’ cold fingers find their way under the hem of his shirt, making Regulus shiver. “I’m picturing a two-story house in the suburbs, a yard with an overgrown garden, a pool if we’re feeling daring. I’ll take way too long trying to build a treehouse for our kids because I didn’t want to hire a professional.” Regulus feels himself freeze, his spine straightening in shock. James notices, his voice growing suddenly gentler. “Sorry, love, I should ask first. Do you want kids one day?” His heart catches in his throat.

“I think I’d like to have one.” They’re words he’s never admitted before. His parents surely expect him to have children, in their warped reality where he becomes a rich man’s wife. Regulus doesn’t want that, but the future James is proposing is very different from his own childhood. His child would grow up doted on and loved with James as their father. Regulus might not know how good parents act, but he’d sure as fuck figure out how to be one for a kid of his own.

“Me too,” says James, pleased and oblivious, hugging him tighter against his chest. “I’d love to raise a kid with you. I’d interrupt all your meetings and bring them to visit you at work. I bet you’d have a picture of the three of us on your desk, on a beach vacation or wearing sweaters for our holiday card. We’d visit you longer than we should every time, messing up your schedule. Our kid would hug you goodbye and we’d have to promise them you’d be home in time to play with them before their bedtime. I’d push you up against your fancy desk and kiss you before I leave, every time. All afternoon I’d think about you getting home, and putting our kid to bed, so I could finally have you all to myself.” Regulus stares down at his laptop screen gone dark.

“Fuck, Potter,” he says, voice shot with longing.

“Sorry,” James’ tone drips with false innocence. “I thought you needed some motivation.”

Regulus exhales, turning his attention back to his computer and not the man pressed against his spine. “You’re learning how to create a company balance sheet.”

“Perfect,” James murmurs in his ear.

Chapter Text

“The better Black brother is here,” Peter’s voice calls from the entryway as James is failing to fix his hair in the mirror.

“Coming!” He bounds out of his bedroom and throws his arms around a surprised Regulus, casually dressed in a black pullover and brown carpenter pants. He buries his nose in his perfectly styled black hair. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Regulus says back, taking his hand and pulling him gently back into his apartment. “I need to look in your room for a sec.”

“Subtle euphemism,” Peter remarks, retreating quickly to the living room. Regulus just rolls his eyes, closing the door behind them in James’ bedroom. James leans down and kisses his jaw. Regulus sighs, placing his hands on James’ chest and shoving lightly.

“We’re not in your room to make out, moron. I actually need something.” James obediently backs off, watching him flip through the clothes hanging in his closet. Regulus pulls out a red football jersey and tosses it to James. “Put this on.”

James looks down at it, his mind racing. “Are we going to a game?” Regulus’ lips quirk upwards.

“Maybe.” James bolts upright, already moving toward the hallway.

“Wait,” he orders Regulus. He crosses swiftly to Sirius and Remus’ room, pulling the jersey on over his long sleeve shirt as he goes. He throws open Sirius and Remus’ door without knocking. They look up from where they are sprawled together in bed, thankfully clothed and reading and scrolling social media, respectively.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks hesitantly as James marches to the closet and starts rifling through his clothes.

“I’m borrowing my old jersey back.”

“Why? It’s too small for you.”

“Reg’s wearing it to a game.” Sirius sits up sharply, almost kneeing Remus in the process.

“No,” he says, black-penciled eyes staring James down.

“Why not?” James finds it and pulls it off its hanger, red fabric and yellow letters stitched across the back.

“What’s going on here?” Regulus asks from where he’s leaned casually in the doorway, head tilted curiously at James.

“James wants to publicly label you his,” Sirius informs his brother angrily.

“Hm,” says Regulus, dark eyebrows raised appraisingly. “Let me see?” James tosses him the jersey, watching his grey eyes take in the bright block letters spelling Potter across the back. Regulus smiles brightly. “Cute.” He pulls it on over his sweater, buttoning up the front as he steps into the room to examine himself in the mirror. Sirius gawks at him in disbelief.

“Why the fuck are you going along with this? What have you done with my brother?” Regulus smirks at him over his shoulder.

“I like pissing you off and I enjoy giving my boyfriend a conniption.” He gives a coy half-turn, yellow letters flashing across his shoulders as grey eyes meet James’. “How do I look with your last name?”

James is across the room and wrapping his hands around his slim waist before his brain can catch up. Regulus grins upward. A pillow aggressively smacks James in the head. Sirius’ work.

“Do not do that! Stop eye fucking each other in front of me!”

“We’ll do it away from you, then,” Regulus agrees cheerfully, pulling James out of the room by the hand. “Bye, Lupin!”

“Bye,” replies Remus, unfazed and still thoroughly engrossed in his novel.

James and Regulus take the bus to the stadium, faces close as they talk in illicit whispers. James ebbs his need to fidget by playing with Regulus’ hair, longer now than when they first met. He blurts the observation and then regrets it as Regulus’ face falls.

“Should I cut it?” he asks James, grey eyes worried.

James cups his face comfortingly. “You don’t have to. It looks gorgeous both ways.” Regulus’ expression turns harsh.

“I don’t want to be mistaken for a girl.” James mentally kicks himself for his insensitivity.

“I promise you don’t look like one,” James assures him sincerely. “Anyone who says differently will have to go through me first.” Regulus’ posture relaxes slightly, running his own hand through his hair self-consciously.

“I think I’m going to cut it again.” James runs a thumb over his cheek.

“Do whatever makes you happy.” Regulus exhales and drops his gaze, seemingly trying to abruptly switch the mood.
“Speaking of which, that’s kind of my aim today. Except the opposite. To make you happy,” he rambles as James looks on fondly. “I feel like you’ve arranged most of our dates up until now, so today it's my turn to win you over.” He looks at James like he’s an imposing challenge, which could not be farther from the truth with how much he wants to kiss him senseless. Still, he can play Regulus’ game for the day. James won’t admit how nice it is to have Regulus treat him like a prize.

“Do you want me to play hard to get?” James whispers with a tilt of head. Regulus huffs a laugh.

“I’m not sure you’re capable of it.”

“It can't be too hard,” James teases, his voice low. “For weeks, you acted like you didn’t want me so badly you could hardly think.” His finger traces Regulus’ chin. “I’m not so easily fooled anymore.” With a surge of confidence, he presses the pad of his thumb against Regulus’ full bottom lip, noting the shift in his eyes.

“Nope,” Regulus declares loudly, closing his eyes and pushing him away resolutely. “You’re not seducing me. I have plans, Potter, and they don’t leave time for interruptions.”

“Okay.” James gives a teasingly skeptical smile. “I’ll ignore the cute little blush then.” Regulus covers his pink-tinged face with his hands, groaning in misery. James laughs at his expense, taking his hands and kissing them as the bus pulls up to their stop.

James can't help grinning and bounding on the balls of his feet as Regulus scans their tickets to get them into the stadium. He takes his hand excitedly as they head toward their seats.

“You planned this for me, then? Did Sirius tell you this was my team.” Regulus smirks back at him.

“You love football and you grew up in a city with a national team. It wouldn’t exactly take a genius.”

“But this is for me,” he repeats, maybe a bit giddy at the attention. “I’m wondering just how permissive you’ll be on this date designed to impress me.” Grey eyes narrow distrustfully.

“What do you want?” James grins wildly, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

“Turn around,” he commands. Regulus glowers at him.

“There are much better places to demonstrate your perverted interest in my ass than a building with thousands of people in it.” James shakes his head, tapping the back of Regulus’ jersey to explain.

“You’re wearing my team’s colors, at a game you took me to, with my last name written on you. I love you. Please turn around.” Regulus sighs, muttering something about jocks and their sport related kinks as he turns his back to James.

James focuses his camera on Regulus, standing in a passageway with the field visible beyond him. He almost looks like Sirius with his perfectly aligned shoulders and delicate frame transforming a secondhand jersey into something elegant. The heated look he gives James though, glancing over his shoulder like a model, is inarguably Regulus’ alone. James snaps a picture and fights to ignore the sudden warmth of his face.

“Should’ve known you’d be photogenic.” Regulus examines his expression knowingly.

“Black family trait, obviously.”

“Right.” James nearly fumbles trying to put his phone back in his jeans pocket. An announcement can be heard from the football field. “The game should be starting soon.” Regulus beckons him with a tilt of his head.

“Let’s find our seats, then.”

The roar of the crowd greets them as they make their way down the cement steps. The seats around theirs are filled in the busy section close to the field. James eagerly uses the excuse to bump his knees against Regulus’ and interlock their fingers over their shared armrest. Regulus seems to be glancing suspiciously at the giant screen mounted across the field. James holds back a laugh.

“Never been to a major league game?”

“Only once, as a kid. A business partner of my father’s insisted our family watch a game from his private booth. His wife was very kind to me and Sirius. I’m sure she realized something was wrong when two 6 and 8 year old kids sat perfectly still and didn’t say a word unless directly spoken to. Our family didn’t do any business with them after that.” James tries desperately to tamp down his anger, tearing at his better reason. He had wanted to burn that house to the ground for Sirius. For both he and Regulus both, he longs to torch it with those monsters still inside. “Sorry.” The soft voice breaks through his thoughts. “I didn’t mean to dump my baggage on you.”

“No,” James corrects quickly. “You can always tell me. I want to carry anything I can for you.”

“Okay,” says Regulus hesitantly. “Thanks.” He leans his head against James’ shoulder, gazing at the field as the starting players are announced. “Now tell me everything about this stupid sport. I like hearing your voice.”

So James rambles excitedly between plays, eyes drawn to his boyfriend’s soft smile. When their team scores, he leans down and kisses him.

“My good luck charm,” James murmurs. Regulus pretends to glare.

“For croquet.”

“For everything,” James corrects. Their next turn on offense, they score a touchdown, letting James kiss Regulus again, unnoticed by anyone but the two of them among the cheers.

At halftime, they race to beat the line at a concession stand, returning with popcorn, a shared drink, and a hotdog for James. (“I hope you know those are barely made of meat,” Regulus informs him in disgust.”) James gets pulled into a conversation with a group of men in their late twenties sitting in front of them, a few of them alumni from a rival football team to Hogwarts. Regulus looks apprehensive, but James proudly introduces him as his boyfriend, and the men don’t seem to bat an eye. Regulus visibly relaxes, adding remarks of his own and laughing at jokes some of the others make. Regulus shyly mentions he hasn’t been to this stadium since he was a little kid, and the group reacts dramatically, lecturing James for not taking his boyfriend out more often. One guy pulls off his new-looking hat and gives it to Regulus point-blank. He attempts to refuse, but the guy won’t hear it. Regulus slides it over his dark curls, a faint blush staining his cheeks.

“Thank you,” Regulus says with a smile. The guy grins back at him, effectively making James jealous.

“With a face like that, I’m sure you could convince a player to sign it.” So he wasn't imagining the flirtation. James slides an arm around Regulus’ shoulders, a carefully conjured friendly smile plastered on his face.

“Oh, absolutely. Guys jump at the chance to do nice things for him all the time. At the end of the day, he’s still mine, though,” James says with a sugar-sweet smile.

“Alex is just messing with you, man,” promises one of the guy’s friends. “He’ll flirt with anyone pretty, but he’s harmless.” Regulus tilts his head against James, batting his eyelashes at Alex.

“Aw. You think I’m pretty?” Alex laughs, looking back at him fondly and then James apprehensively.

“I’m not sure I should answer that for my own safety, but I imagine you already know the answer.”

“Do you want your hat back?” Regulus asks, reaching for it.

“No way, please keep it.” Alex glances at James, his smile sheepish. “Can’t lose the opportunity to piss off a former quarterback of the Hogwarts Griffins.” James just scowls as Regulus happily pulls the beak of his hat lower.

“Whatever, Beauxbatons Swans.”

During the third period, Regulus is clearly trying to appease James by practically snuggling against his side. It helps when Alex leaves to get a beer, only to be thoroughly distracted and start chatting up a beautiful woman sitting a few aisles away.

“Would a player actually sign my hat?” Regulus looks up at him, grey eyes soft. “Or was that just a pick-up line?” James runs a hand instinctively through the hair on Regulus’ nape, watching the game out of the corner of his eye.

“They tend to mostly sign for kids, but on the other hand you’re absolutely stunning. The last time Sirius and I went to a game, the wide receiver gave him a signed ball and asked for his phone number. Fuck, is this how Remus feels every day of his life?” James asks, dismayed at the realization. His attention catches on the field as his team completes a pass, the receiver racing for a touchdown. “Yes!” he cheers as the touchdown buzzer blares. He’s distracted by a hand cupping his face. “Reg—“

Regulus kisses him aggressively, forcing his lips open and fisting his jersey. He’s kneeling half on James’ seat as James pulls Alex’s stupid hat off his head and tangles his hands in his hair, kissing back with utter abandon.

“A touchdown can’t possibly be that exciting,” he hears a woman declare loudly a few seats behind them, and they break the kiss laughing. Regulus tucks his face against James’ neck as their friends in the next row tease them good-naturedly. James flips them the middle finger and nuzzles Regulus’ hair.

“I can’t believe you’re mine,” he whispers. Regulus raises his head and kisses him softly on the lips. Then he retreats to his own seat and grabs his hat off the ground. James groans angrily. “I hate that hat.”

“You’re sexy when you’re jealous,” Regulus informs him, placing the hat back over his curls. “You momentarily forget to be nice to everyone.”

“I’m not nice to everyone,” he defends himself against Regulus’ raised eyebrow. “I’m just nice to most people,” he mutters quietly. “Really, you shouldn’t be talking. You’re scary as hell one moment, and the next you’re the sweetest guy in the world.”

“You know that’s just for you, right?” Regulus asks, his expression honest. “I’m certain you corrupted me.” James leans in close, his heart a melted mess in his chest.

“Don’t let Sirius hear you say that.”

Their team wins. It’s not even a fair fight in that last period. James still kisses Regulus with every positive change to the score.

With the last minute on the clock, James takes Regulus’ hand and leads him down to the field, ducking against the boards so they don’t block anyone’s view. The clock runs out and they race toward the players exit. James steps back and lets Regulus easily squeeze his way to the front of the boards, his hat extended over the boards hopefully. The first approaching players only stop for hurried autographs for little kids, but a younger linesman’s eyes catch on Regulus, and all doubt is erased. The football player procures his own marker, and smiles blindingly at Regulus as he signs the brim of his hat. He asks something and Regulus responds apologetically, glancing back to meet James’ eyes. The football player looks at James and visibly sighs, saying something to Regulus that makes him laugh as he returns his hat. The linesman leaves but Regulus stays at the front, helping a few kids around him get their merch signed. When the players have gone, he turns to the girl beside him, saying something that makes her face light up and placing the hat over her curly black hair. She gestures excitedly to her dad at the edge of the crowd. James watches as he mouths a silent thank you to Regulus.

Regulus returns to James’ side with a shit-eating grin.

“Football players really like me.” James scowls.

“Don’t you start.”

“I’m not kidding! I thought I had to go to stuffy society dinners to find a rich husband! Turns out, I could have just gone to NFL games instead.”

“Message received. I should never let you near athletes of any kind.” Regulus rises on his tiptoes and kisses him sweetly.

“You’ve got to be less fun to rile up, or I’ll do it all the time.”

“I can’t blame you for their interest. No one can keep their eyes off you.” Regulus winds his arms around his neck, gazing into his eyes.

“It probably seems that way.” He pushes James’ hair back from his glasses. “Most of the time, though, the only one who notices me is you.”

“Good.” James’ voice sounds lower as he murmurs against his lips. He grasps his waist, smoothing down fabric to feel the skin below. Regulus’ breath is warm on his jaw. “I should make it clear that I am not willing to share.”

“I figured,” Regulus says with a smirk. “Treat me right and you might just make an honest man of me, Potter.”

“Oh, I will.” James’ hand slips deftly beneath his sweatshirt, tracing the smooth dip of his waist. “You can tease me now, but I’m the only one you’re going to want once I’ve had you.” Regulus blushes furiously but succeeds in pulling away.

“We’re in public,” he reminds himself and James both. “And I’m afraid we will be for a while.” James sighs and holds out his hand out for Regulus to take.

“I can wait. Until our wedding night, if need be.”

“Oh, fuck, no,” Regulus exclaims adamantly, his expression pained. “I don’t have the patience for that.” James kisses his cheek fondly.

“Any time you want, baby, I’m all yours.”

“Good to know,” replies Regulus, the brightest smile breaking across his face. “Now, come on.” He pulls him steadfastly toward the nearest exit. “I have a date to pull off.”

James is only a little caught off guard when their destination is a nearly empty Denny’s.

“Don’t get me wrong, but this didn’t strike me as the Regulus Black-est of restaurants,” James whispers as they take their seats by a corner window. Regulus seems downright giddy to be there, though, eagerly flipping through his menu.

“I moved out of my parent’s house just before starting university last fall. This was the first place Barty took me when I could finally dress how I wanted. I ordered banana chocolate chip pancakes at 3 am. My undying loyalty was henceforth bound to this establishment.” James’ heart aches for a slightly younger Regulus, so repressed by his parents that the tiniest taste of freedom meant the world.

“In that case, I love Denny’s too. This is officially my favorite restaurant on the planet.”

“Our favorite restaurant on the planet,” Regulus corrects, not looking up from his menu. James pulls out his phone and takes a picture without him noticing.

Their waitress appears and James orders himself banana chocolate chip pancakes. He looks up to find Regulus staring at him.

“They’re good here, right?” James asks.

“Yeah,” Regulus replies, biting his lip sheepishly.

When their food arrives, Regulus meticulously cuts his pork cutlet and James saws at his overflowing plate of pancakes with abandon.

“You’d better help me eat this, sweetheart.” Regulus looks up, dismayed.

“I have my own food. You dug yourself into this hole. I’m not helping you out.” James pours syrup liberally over his misshapen bite-sized pieces of pancake, stabbing one along with a slice of banana.

“First bite’s yours,” he tells Regulus, holding his fork in wait over the table. Regulus meets his eyes and blushes crimson.

“This is obscene. You can’t feed me in public.”

“It's Denny's, love. I’m sure they’ve seen weirder and more sensual things.” Regulus looks appraisingly around the nearly empty restaurant before hesitantly opening his mouth. His furious blush only deepens as he gingerly bites from James’ fork. James gives him a shameless grin as he stabs another piece and shoves it in his own mouth.

“Now, you have to try mine,” Regulus says shyly, readying his own fork. James happily lets him feed him a bite of his meal. He looks Regulus, adorably flushed with a tiny smear of chocolate on his bottom lip, and knows instinctively what needs to be done. He licks his thumb, reaches across the table and swipes the chocolate off his boyfriend’s lip. Regulus watches with wide-eyed shock as James withdraws his hand and shamelessly sticks his thumb in his mouth to lick it off. The next moment, Regulus is hiding his face against the edge of the table, groaning in despair.

“You– Fuck, Jamie, you’re going to kill me.”

“You need to be less cute when you’re embarrassed, or I will do this all the time,” James informs, triumphantly. Regulus’ face reappears, eyes meeting James’ timidly.

“Truce?”

“Fine,” James concedes willingly. “Only because I love you.” The smile he gets from that inspires him to behave throughout the rest of dinner.

Regulus is unnecessarily upset when the waitress gives the bill to James. He refuses to hand it over to Regulus no matter how much he threatens and cajoles. He leaves a large tip as a sincere thank you to the waitress.

It is dark when they leave the restaurant and James is more than agreeable when Regulus informs him they are going to his apartment building. His expectations shift as Regulus hits the button in the elevator for the top floor and not his own. He obediently follows Regulus off the elevator and to the roof access stairs. He smiles when they step into the chill air and he sights the blankets and bottle of wine.

“Who’d you get to buy that for you? I certainly wouldn’t believe you’re 21.” Regulus scowls at him as he sits, his arms wrapped around himself.

“Shove it. You're not old enough either. I bet you get Sirius to buy you booze.”

“Yeah, I do now. When we were younger, though, I’d wear Remus’ clothes and do my best impression of my dad. It always worked somehow.” Regulus scoffs at him skeptically.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You like it.” James sits with Regulus between his legs and wraps a blanket around them both. He leans his chin on his shoulder as those pretty hands uncork the wine. He takes the first sip from the bottle offered to him and then passes it over, watching the line of Regulus’ pale throat in the dark. His eyes catch on the stars above them, growing brighter as the lights of the city fade.

“Are you visible tonight?” Regulus turns and gives him a deeply concerned look.

“What?” James laughs, kissing his cheek lightly.

“Your star,” he murmurs. Regulus looks up at the sky intently.

“It should be.” He traces the line of a constellation with his finger, his expression focused. “That’s Leo, so I should be there.” James tries to follow the line of his finger to little success. Regulus takes James’ hand and guides it until his eyes settle on one light, far in the distance. “You see it?”

“Yeah,” James answers, taking the bottle in one hand and the curve of his face in the other. He kisses him deeply, tasting wine and pancakes and the apple sauce Regulus ordered to put on his pork cutlet. Hands smooth over his chest and shoulders, the blanket slipping as Regulus turns to face him. “I see you,” he promises as he sets the wine carefully aside so they can lay down together, that red Potter jersey riding up as their bodies lock and Regulus melts beneath his touch.

They break only to take deep sips of wine and for James to tease Regulus about his wild hair, instantly met with a cutting remark regarding his own. Then, James really doesn’t have a choice but to bury his hands in those perfect curls just to mess them up, and silence his sharp, clever tongue with his own warm mouth, and pin Regulus down into those blankets, cradling his arching back with sudden desire. James is admittedly a little excited, but immediately stops in his tracks when Regulus' kisses slow and he tucks himself flush against James’ chest, his breaths slowly evening out in the night air. James strokes his hair and murmurs sweet nothings as he drifts off to sleep.

It’s still dark but morning as he carries him to bed.

Chapter Text

Regulus pulls a cream-colored sweater hurriedly over his head as he hears James’ keys turn in the door. He gives himself a quick once-over in the mirror and wheels his suitcase out into the hallway.

“Hey,” he says, acquiescing his suitcase to his boyfriend. James eyes with an approving smirk before stepping forward and kissing him gently.

“Hi, baby. Got everything?”

“I think so,” Regulus answers, stooping to tie his converse. “My skates are in there somewhere.” He stands up and James places a hand on his back, brown eyes searching his meaningfully.

“Don’t have to be nervous. They’re going to love you.” Regulus avoids his gaze as he turns off his apartment lights, grabbing his apartment key before stepping out the door.

“In any case, it’ll be better than spending Christmas with my family.”

Waiting at the curb is a shiny black SUV, the driver’s window rolled down to reveal an older rendition of James. Sirius is wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket in the passenger’s seat, his Doc Martens propped on the dash.

“Get in, loser.” Regulus purportedly ignores his brother and steps to the window, his right hand extended with false confidence.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter. You should know that your son is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I’m working on becoming half the man he deserves.”

Sirius actually lowers his sunglasses, looking at him with dismay through the open window. James’ dad stares at him for a moment before unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car.

“Call me Monty,” he tells Regulus with a firm handshake. He is completely caught off guard when Monty pulls him into a ferocious embrace, strong arms wrapping tightly around him. Regulus freezes before hesitantly hugging him back. “I promise you’re good enough. Love is given, not earned.” Regulus closes his eyes and presses his face to his shoulder.

“Hey, Dad… Can I have him back, or..?” Regulus extricates himself from Monty’s arms and fixes his embarrassingly teary eyes on James.

“Please tell me you’ll look like that in 35 years,” he begs his boyfriend. Monty breaks out laughing as Sirius gapes at him in horror.

“That’s my dad, Reggie!”

“It was a valid request,” comes Remus’ voice from the backseat. Sirius turns around in his seat to start arguing with his boyfriend.

“I guess you’ll have to wait 35 years and see,” is all James says, opening the car door for Regulus. He slides into the middle beside Remus, clearing his throat loudly because he’d rather not witness a sexually-charged argument involving his brother. James and Monty exchange a few quiet words before James climbs into the car beside him, smiling in amusement as Sirius continues his tirade from the passenger’s seat. Monty reaches over and musses his long hair fondly.

“I feel like I’m seeing double.” His eyes glint teasingly at James and Remus in the mirror. “Could be quite the disaster if you boys aren’t careful.” Sirius scowls at the same moment Regulus does.

“He looks nothing like me. I’m taller.”

“By half an inch,” Regulus snaps at his brother. “At least I inherited all the available brain cells—“

“This is normal for siblings,” Monty reassures his son. Regulus looks over to see James’ terrified expression.

“Please don’t fight. I will cry,” James threatens. Sirius looks back at him, nonplussed.

“This is not us fighting.”

“Ignore him. He probably wants us to hold hands and peacefully work through our childhood trauma.” Regulus declares with a scoff. James looks hopeful.

“Would you?”

“No.”

“Absolutely not. God, only children are something else,” Sirius groans.

“I don’t wish to be associated with James,” Remus says.

“I think that ship has sailed for both of us,” Regulus laments with a sigh. Monty laughs from the driver’s seat.

Regulus’ heart pounds in his chest as they pull into the driveway of the two-story family home. The pumpkin lanterns that had hung from the porch on Halloween have been replaced with red and green lights. Regulus slides out of the car after James, hands tucked in the sleeves of his sweater. In a blur of leather, Sirius grabs his sleeve and pulls him toward the door. It opens before they reach it, revealing a petite woman with greying hair and James’ gentle eyes. Regulus’ heart stops in his chest as Sirius shoves him forward.

“Mom, this is my brother, Reggie.”

“Regulus,” he corrects sharply, immediately recoiling in embarrassment.
“Regulus,” Euphemia repeats softly, a kind smile on her face. “Well, you certainly grew up handsome.” She reaches out and gently pushes a curl back from his face fondly. “I haven’t a clue how he didn’t recognize a Black when he saw one. No matter now. We got you home eventually.” This time, Regulus is prepared for the hug. He returns her embrace with equal affection. “I’m Effie, okay, love? If you need anything you just ask.” She glances at Sirius, standing nearby, and yanks him sharply into their embrace. Effie is the first to pull away, leaving Regulus still hugging his brother, hands wound in that stupid leather jacket and soft hair in his face. They’re just pulling away from each other awkwardly when James wraps his arms tightly around them both. Effie steps unapologetically past her son to yank Remus into her arms. Her head barely reaches his shoulder.

“How has my son been treating you?” Sirius sputters as Remus smiles down at Effie.

“He’s trouble as usual, but I keep him in line.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Sirius declares with a pout, stepping inside. “C’mon, Reggie, I’ll give you the tour.” Regulus follows after him.

“Thanks, but I’ve been here before.” Sirius looks between him and James in shock.

“What?”

“He was at our Halloween party,” James admits sheepishly. “I honestly don’t know how you didn’t run into each other.”

“I was avoiding you,” Regulus says matter-of-factly. Sirius looks at him, hurt crossing his features. “Sorry, I was avoiding a dramatic confrontation with you while you were dressed as a scantily clad dog. Is that better?” Sirius thinks over the question, slightly offended.

“Okay. But for the record, I looked hot on Halloween.”

“Regrettably, others would likely support that claim.” James looks between the two of them, pleased by their temporary ceasefire.

“Now that I think of it, I barely saw you on Halloween, Pads.”

“Let’s just say I liked his costume,” Remus says quietly, taking Sirius by the hand and leading him further into the house. Sirius glances furtively over his shoulder and he and James hold a suggestive conversation using only their eyebrows. Regulus rolls his eyes.

“Kill me now.” James looks back at him, distraught.

“What? You can’t die, I love you too much.” He takes his hand then, pulling Regulus’ suitcase easily by the other. James carries it up the stairs despite his half-hearted protests. Regulus tries to mask his disappointment when James leads him to an unadorned, empty bedroom. He sits on the edge of the bed and is joined quickly by James, his arm wrapping viselike around his waist.

“You’re parents don’t want us sharing a room?” he asks awkwardly, cringing at his lack of subtlety. James grasps his chin and tips it up to meet his eyes.

“They wouldn’t mind. I wasn’t sure you…” Some shared confession passes between their eyes. They look away just as quickly. James laughs. “Sirius would mind.” Regulus groans angrily, hitting his head against James’ shoulder.

“Don't he and Lupin share a room here?”

“Yeah. If it makes you feel any better, my mom didn’t let them until they were both 18.” Regulus retreats from James’ hoodie slightly, smirking despite himself.

“At least I’m not the only one who’s been cockblocked.” James laughs, shameless and beautiful with his head tipped back. Regulus can feel his warmth like the sun shining on his face.

“Sorry, love,” he murmurs, hugging him tighter. One of James’ hands slips into his hair, cradling his neck. “I don’t need sex to love you, but I fully agree that this feels like a medieval torture tactic.”

“Prongs! Reggie! Stop swapping spit and get your butts down here!” They jump apart at the sound of Sirius’ voice before realizing he’s yelling from the bottom of the stairs.

“Yep. I’m going to kill him,” Regulus mutters darkly. James kisses his nose and tugs him to his feet.

After lunch, Regulus sits across from Effie at the table, sipping tea as Sirius and James pummel each other with snowballs outside.

“How do they have this much energy?” he asks, watching them through the window in dismay. Effie hums, sipping from her china cup.

“Well, James has ADHD. Sirius—“

“Is inbred?” Regulus guesses. Effie laughs to herself.

“Should probably also be tested.” Regulus snorts in amusement. Outside, James picks up Sirius and throws him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“How have you been, sweetheart?” He starts to give a perfunctory answer, but is cut off. “No, Regulus, really. I can only imagine what it was like for you, dear.” Her eyes are so kind, so much like James, that he can’t even lie. It's dangerous that he's let someone have that power over him.

“My life is better now,” is the most positive outlook he can muster. “I definitely wasn’t safe living with my parents. I’m sure you guessed that from what happened with Sirius, but I’ve been out for a year and a half now. Not to my parents, but at school and everywhere else. At first I worried myself crazy that they would find out, but it hasn’t happened yet. They— my mother doesn’t even call anymore as long as my grades meet her standards. They pay my tuition and I’ve only got two and half years left for a bachelor’s. I could probably cut it down to two if I take summer classes. And then I shouldn’t need them anymore. They’ll cut me off when they find out, and it’ll slow me down getting my master’s, but I’ll be free at least. I never said thank you for taking in Sirius when you did. I was angry at the time but I’m grateful now. He’s really happy here.” He looks up and finds Effie’s eyes glistening, but not in pity.

“Please don’t thank me, dear. We love your brother so much and we should have done more for you. We should have gotten you both out. I’m sorry, Regulus. I know we’ve given you no reason to consider us family, but if there’s any way we can begin to make it up to you, we’d like to. If you want to cut things off with your parents, we’d be happy to support you through school. And I promise this isn’t conditional on your relationship with James. You could break my son’s heart, and I would still want to protect you like one of my own.”

“Oh,” is all Regulus can articulate as his eyes blur. “That’s very kind but you really shouldn’t—“

“I wasn’t asking, dear,” Effie tells him. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise because I’m where James gets his stubborn side from.”

“Right.” Regulus looks down at the teacup in his hands, his heart and mind urgently processing amid their confusion. “Thank you, then.”

James takes that moment to barrel in the door, grinning from ear to ear. Slush drips off the boots he kicks off on the mat. Sirius follows quickly behind, pale cheeks flushed from the cold.

“Hey, handsome” James smirks, tucking his fingers below the collar of Regulus’ sweater. Regulus recoils violently.

“Fuck, James, that’s cold!” He glances quickly at Effie, ashamed. “I am so sorry, Mrs. Potter.” She gives him a watery smile.

“It’s quite all right, love. I know it’s my son’s fault.” James looks at his mom, no doubt ready to protest until he notices the red tint of her eyes. He looks down at Regulus, worry overtaking his brown eyes. His voice grows suddenly soft as he sits down beside him.

“Hey, love. Are you okay?” Regulus tries for a reassuring smile.

“Yeah. Just talking a bit about my parents.”

“They haven’t done anything, right?” Sirius’ voice is tinged with panic, the smile dropping instantly from his face. “If they did anything to hurt you, I’ll—“

“I’m fine, Sirius,” he says quickly. “I haven’t even talked to them in months. They haven’t hurt me in a long time.” He can feel James looking at him, his expression unfamiliarly dark.

“Not long enough.” Regulus opens his mouth but no sound comes out. Eternity passes before Effie speaks.

“I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it right now, boys. It’s best not to linger on it.”

“She’s right.” Sirius crouches beside his chair, his grey eyes determined. He gives Regulus a devil may care smile. “Fuck them. The only thing I still wanted in that house is right here in front of me. None of that money means a thing compared to you.” He pulls him to his feet and Regulus lets him, pushing back the tears in his eyes, “Now, I’m going to cheer you up with the most ridiculous thing I can think of, which just happens to be your boyfriend playing Just Dance.” Regulus huffs.

“I’ll watch, but I'm not playing."

“Oh, I’ll convince you,” James says with a wink. Sirius glares and punches him in the arm. “Ow! Pads!”

“You’re both actual children,” Regulus insults, but he’s hiding a smile as he lets them drag him away.

The best thing that can be said about James’ dancing abilities is that he’s enthusiastic. Regulus would grudgingly admit it’s amusing. (Maybe even endearing…) Sirius wins every round, so Regulus is forced to join the competition, if only to beat him. A few songs in, Remus appears in the doorway and doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he's staring at Sirius. His brother clearly notices, but pretends not to. Regulus is triumphant with victory and slightly damp with sweat when Monty calls them for supper.

It’s easy to push away all ways his childhood home differed from his boyfriend's when he’s sitting beside James, their socked feet purposefully brushing under the table. They eat fresh naan with a delicious curry that Monty tells Regulus is paneer butter masala. It’s a bit spicier than he’s used to, though Regulus seems to be the only one who thinks so judging from the smirks he gets from around the table. James doesn’t tease him, he just pours him a glass of ice water and kisses the tip of his nose.

“You’ll get accustomed to Indian food in no time, love. You shouldn’t have seen Sirius at first, he was far more dramatic about it than you.”

“Sorry,” Regulus says, embarrassed and flushed. “It really is excellent, Mr. Potter–”

“Monty,” James' dad corrects with a smile. James cups his face with a soft laugh.

“I do find it funny that the Blacks are some of the whitest people I know.”

“I’m glad you find my torment amusing,” Regulus pouts.

“You're even cuter with your face all red."

“Ahem.” Sirius scowls at them from across the table. Regulus flips his brother off when he’s sure Effie is looking.

Regulus tries to help with the dishes only to be picked up by the waist and set on the counter, per their tradition in Regulus’ apartment. James won’t let him come down until the cleaning is done, but he does convince Monty to hand him a towel and a handful of cutlery to dry.

Regulus and Monty put up a good fight but eventually lose at Scrabble to Effie and Remus. (James and Sirius, playing as a team, never stood a chance. Their proudest achievement of the game is putting down the word vulva.) Afterwards, Regulus is informed that he will be subjected to their annual holiday screening of the first and second Die Hard movies. Sirius curls up on the loveseat in the living room with his head in Remus’ lap, black hair falling over faded corduroy. James and Monty are sitting on opposite ends of the couch when James beckons Regulus over. He blanches when his boyfriend gestures to his lap.

“Best seat in the house” he promises with a cocky smile. Regulus avoids his open arms and sinks on the sofa beside him, close but not touching.

“I shouldn’t.” James looks hurt, although he’s trying to hide it. Regulus wraps his arms around himself. “Another time I will, but I don’t want to traumatize your dad.” Monty looks up from the other side of the couch, a decision formulating in his eyes.

“Effie, darling?” he calls loudly. She appears in the doorway a moment later, a book in one hand.

“Did you need something, dear?” she asks her husband. Monty stands up with a grin just as charming and mischievous as his son’s.

“Come here.” She steps forward, eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he’s already reached her. One arm loops around her waist and the other supports her neck as he pulls her into an aggressive, open-mouthed kiss.

Regulus never once saw his own parents kiss. He’d bet his soul that Walburga and Orion never once kissed each other like this.

“Monty!” Effie exclaims when they finally break for air, her brown skin prettily flushed. Beside Regulus, James makes a retching noise like a cat being strangled. Monty looks Regulus dead in the eye and finds the audacity to wink.

“Feel free to traumatize me back, kid.”

Regulus smiles slowly before scooting over and plopping himself down in James’ lap, wrapping his boyfriend’s arms around his waist.

“Thank you, dad, but I could have gone without seeing that.”

“Clinically speaking, that’s the reason you exist,” he says, tipping his head back on James’ shoulder with a smirk. James groans and buries his face in Regulus’ hair.

“I like this one,” Monty declares, sitting next to Effie on the other side of the couch. “Can we keep him?” Effie smiles, her lips pursed.

“I don't see why not.”

That night, Regulus slips out of the guest room and down the hall, his bare feet silent on the carpet. He freezes at the creak of the door, but no noise follows. He eases it open and slips through the crack.

“James?” he whispers, his eyes adjusting to the dim light visible from the street. He identifies a blanketed outline on the bed. “Are you awake?”

James rolls over, his eyes blinking open groggily. “Reg?”

“Sorry.” Regulus steps backwards, his elbow hitting the door. “I’ll go.”

“Reg,” James repeats, his voice more lucid. The corner of his blanket lifts in invitation. “Come here.”

Regulus climbs into his boyfriend’s bed, enveloped by the warmth of blankets and bare skin. James pulls him close, spooning him from behind. Their feet tangle in the sheets.

“Is this okay?” James murmurs against his hair. Regulus tips his head back and kisses his jaw, his smile softly fragile in the dark.

“This is perfect.”

Chapter Text

James has been told many times that he’s painfully oblivious.

He certainly missed the signs that heralded this.

James tried to slip out of bed quietly this morning, but Regulus stirred awake anyway, looking unbearably adorable with his curls askew and his shirt slipping off one shoulder.

“You’re leaving?” he asked mournfully, grey eyes blinking open sleepily. James put his glasses on and knelt beside Regulus’ side of the bed, reaching out to stroke his disheveled hair.

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m just going for a run. You can go back to sleep if you want.” Regulus sat up slowly, stretching his back with a sigh.

“I should go back to the other room anyway. If Sirius finds me here he’ll flip his shit.”

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Breakfast in bed when I get back.”

“Coffee, too,” Regulus ordered him, swinging his legs out of bed.

“Of course, Your Highness. How could I forget?” Regulus shoved his chest, his nose crinkled. His balance remained completely unaffected.

Hours later, James sat with Regulus’ hip pressed against his. All four boys were squished together in the backseat of his parents’ car and James was resigned to scolding and issuing empty threats every time Regulus and Sirius elbowed each other maliciously and claimed it was an accident. Remus huffed and tugged Sirius half on his lap in an effort to separate the two.

“We’d better not get pulled over on our way to the rink.”

“Yeah, I’d hate for Sirius to go to jail,” Regulus deadpanned. James grabbed Regulus and dragged him onto his lap so Sirius couldn't reach him to retaliate.

“Please stop antagonizing your brother.” Regulus mumbled something under his breath but didn’t look at Sirius again, instead resting his chin on James’ collarbone.

He looked like an angel with those black, tangled curls falling in his face. He was lean muscle and graceful lines blurring against the smooth surface of the ice, bright eyes catching his from across the rink.

James couldn’t fathom what he did to deserve finding himself on the receiving end of that smile.

Regulus looped a tight, fast circle around him, his movements as unwavering as his grin.

“You’re staring.”

“You’re beautiful,” James said, turning his head to keep watching him. Regulus winded closer, remaining just outside his reach.

“Skate with me.”

“I don’t think I could keep up.” Regulus threw his arms around his neck from behind, pulling him down to whisper in his ear.

“Chase me,” he requested gleefully. James looked back at him, mischief written in his eyes.

“Fair warning, sweetheart. I won’t let go once I’ve caught you.” Regulus’ eyes widened in surprise before he unwound his arms and pulled away, skating easily backward. A flash of a teasing smile and he was gone like a shot.

James raced after him, his strides unbalanced and grating in a way that Regulus’ weren’t. He cut a corner to try to block Regulus off only to have him brush past his fingertips.

Regulus skillfully evaded him with a dancer’s poise and a devilish smile, using other skaters as shields when necessary to stop James from reaching him. James apologized each time he nearly collided with someone, blushing in embarrassment and vowing his revenge on Regulus. He should have known he wouldn’t play fair.

James was tired and panting when he finally had Regulus cornered on an empty end of the rink. Regulus stood in front of the boards, watching his approach slowly. As James grew nearer, Regulus lunged one way, only to race in the other direction. James was close behind, reaching out until his fingers closed around the fabric of a black shirt. James turned with a spray of ice to sandwich him against the boards.

Regulus tried to duck under his arm and escape, laughing as James pulled him back by his shirt and pinned him against the wall.

“Scared I’ll get away if you loosen your grip?” he asked, the slightest pant in his teasing tone.

“It took a lot of work to get you here,” James hissed in his ear. “I’m enjoying the moment.” Regulus suddenly pushed against his hold, held back by James’ arms. “Hey. None of that.” He snaked his arms under Regulus’ thighs and hefted him up, his legs wrapped around James’ waist. Dark curls splayed against plexiglass. “I won fair and square.”

“I let you win,” Regulus told him haughtily, his chin held high.

“I know,” James said, leaning in to mouth at his exposed jaw. “I love it when you call the shots.”

That evening, Sirius and Remus left to visit Remus’ dad in the next town over. They departed with many over dramatic hugs and a promise to be back the morning of the 25th.

Then Effie and Monty left for a dinner date. His dad slipped out the door with a wink James brushed off as nothing more than strange.

He was more than happy to have Regulus alone, to toss him up on the counter and make him chicken alfredo, because although Regulus loved his family’s Indian recipes, he practically moaned eating pasta.
When James asked what he wanted to do tonight, Regulus licked pasta sauce off his finger and suggested they go straight to bed.

James carried him upstairs, wished him goodnight, and went back downstairs to do the dishes.

He took a shower and returned to his room in pyjama pants, pleased at the flickering lamplight that told him Regulus was still awake.

He opened the door and for once understood all the subtext without having to be told.

Regulus sits by the window, one pale leg tucked up in front of him and a book in his hands. He’s wearing a dark red t-shirt of James’, sharp collarbones peaking out. It’s the only thing he’s wearing.

He looks up at James hopefully, his expression uncharacteristically vulnerable. “Are you going to close the door?”

James’ closes it, albeit too hard. His eyes trace hungrily over slender legs and soft lips. He steps forward of his body’s volition.

“How’s the book?” Regulus looks down at the paperback like he’s forgotten it’s there, a breathy laugh escaping his throat.

“Not as promising as reality at the moment.” James takes the book from his hand and sets it down with a smirk.

“I’m better, am I?” Regulus narrows his eyes playfully, pulling both legs under him when he catches James staring.

“I hope so. I’d hate to wait this long and be disappointed.” James sits down beside him, carefully setting one hand on Regulus’ knee.

“I’m a textbook people pleaser, and you’re my favourite person. I’m going to take care of you, and I’m going to do it well.” Grey eyes soften fondly.

“I’m your favourite person?” Panic races through James’ mind as Regulus smiles deviously. “I’m so telling Sirius.”

“Don’t you dare,” James snaps, grabbing him sharply by the hips. He hears Regulus’ exhale, pupils blown wide in grey eyes betraying the stubborn tilt of chin.

“Are you saying you’re going to stop me?” James’ fingers tighten their grip on bare skin.

“I could if I wanted.” Regulus scoffs in his face.

“You’re too nice.”

“I don’t have to be,” James warns, his voice low. Regulus stares back unflinchingly, grey eyes as unforgiving as steel.

“I don’t believe you—“ In the blink of an eye, James has him on his back, hands pinned over his head and James’ thigh slotted between his legs. Regulus looks up through dark eyelashes, his chest rising and falling erratically below James. “Fuck,” he swallows.

James catches the word on his tongue, licking into the mouth that opens eagerly beneath him. Regulus whines, his hips canting up as James pins his wrists together in one hand so he can run his palm over his bare thigh. James abruptly breaks the kiss.

“Is this okay?” Regulus kisses him back in answer, arching his back to reach him. James frees Regulus’ hands and pulls away from his mouth with difficulty. “Reg, I need an answer.” Regulus pushes himself up to sitting, grabbing James’ shoulders to pull him close.

“Yes. Do whatever you want to me, just don’t stop.”

“That’s a dangerous carte blanche,” he warns, pulling Regulus into his lap.

“You said that wrong,” Regulus informs him haughtily. “And it isn’t. I’m more experienced and you’re terribly sentimental, James.”

“What’s wrong with being sentimental?” he asks, running his hand higher up his thigh. “Sure, I like it when you’re mean, but you like it when I’m nice. You think you’re scary, but you’re such a sweetheart for me, Reg.” James takes his chin in his palm, kissing his forehead and down his nose. “Will you be good for me, love?” Regulus kisses him hard, nails digging into his shoulders. He breaks away with a cutting glare.

“Not a chance.”

“Whatever you say,” James agrees cheerfully, letting his hand on Regulus’ hip slip lower. Regulus gives a soft whine when it presses between his legs. James grins at him. “I’ll just pretend you’re not leaking like a faucet, then.”

Regulus exhales shakily, pouting as he meets James’ eyes. “Jamie—“ His breath hitches as brushes a knuckle lightly against him. “I’ll be good. Please, Jamie, I need you to touch me.” James kisses him softly, swallowing Regulus’ moan when James slips a finger inside him.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” James asks as Regulus buries his face in his shoulder, whimpering with pleasure once James finds the right spot. “I meant it earlier. You’re my favourite person.”
Regulus kisses weakly up his throat, thighs clenching around him. James pushes another finger in with a ruthless smirk his boyfriend can't see. Regulus bites his shoulder with a moan but James just pushes deeper.

“You can take it, baby. You’re doing so good.” A curl of his fingers as he pushes a damp curl off his forehead. Regulus moans loudly, shaking as his hips buck down to take more. James’ cock is hard and very interested, but it will have to wait until later. James takes Regulus’ chin and forces him to sit up straight. “Look at me,” he orders those grey eyes wet with tears. He trembles around him and James begins a steady rhythm with his fingers. He swallows every noise that escapes Regulus’ throat. His nails claw at James’ back, his chest heaving as James spreads him open to add a third finger.

“James,” he pleads loudly. “Please, I need—“ He pushes his fingers deep inside, eliciting a desperate moan before he pulls out to fuck into him again.

“You’re so good for me, Reg,” he praises, his voice a rasp. He smooths back Regulus’ soft curls. “You’re such a good boy.”

Regulus spasms around him harder, crying his name as he orgasms. James fucks him steadily through it, whispering sweet nothings as he strokes his hair. When Regulus collapses on his shoulder, spent and boneless, he pulls his fingers out and carries him to his bed.

Regulus watches with soft, dazed eyes as he lays him out gently on the comforter. James sits cross legged between Regulus’ legs and licks his fingers clean with gusto. Regulus whines at the sight of it like an aftershock.

“Ready to come again?” Regulus’ eyebrows rocket upward.

“What the fuck? It’s been seconds, James. And I’ve never been able to come a second time.” James looks down at him, loose-limbed and gloriously disheveled, and resolves to take him apart slowly.

“Did the guys before me close their eyes when they were looking for it or—“ Regulus buries his face in his hands with a groan.

“Are you seriously thinking about my ex right now?”

“I’m glad to know you weren’t, since he was so painfully incapable.”

“You’re so fucking possessive!”

“You’re so fucking mine,” he growls, propping his hands on either side of his head to look straight down into pretty grey eyes. “You’re going to come again,” he informs him matter-of-factly, returning to his place between his legs. “At least once more, but three is a nice fateful number, wouldn’t you say?” Regulus swears as James licks at the junction of his inner thigh. He pins his leg in place and sucks a mark. Regulus’ hands wind in his hair and James looks shamelessly up from between his legs. “Is this okay, baby?”

“Yes,” Regulus says after a moment, squeezing his eyes closed. “I love you.”

James answers by burying his face in a wet patch of perfect, short curls.

After, James wipes his mouth clean and Regulus crawls into his arms, sweet and appreciative as he returns to his body.

“Sorry,” he says, glancing down at James’ crotch. “You did all that and I haven’t even touched you.” James kisses him deeply, hands cradling his neck.

“I wanted to take care of you first.”

“Well, it’s my turn now,” Regulus declares, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. Thin lines of white cut across his naked back. He turns back around with a careless grin, reaching for the elastic of James’ pyjama pants. James grabs his hands before he can get any further. Regulus looks at him, oblivious and confused. “James?” He holds Regulus’ hands tenderly as red closes in on his vision.

“Sirius said your mother never hurt you.” Regulus’ face falls instantly, realization flooding his eyes.

“When he left, she hadn’t. It started shortly after.” James doesn't realize he's shaking until Regulus takes his face in his hands. “James, please look at me.” He tries to slow down his panicked breaths, to focus on the soft grey eyes in front of him. Regulus gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m safe now, love. I’m perfectly fine, okay?”

“You should hate me,” is what slips out of his mouth, quiet in the dark room. Regulus’ eyes narrow in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s my fault,” James says, trying to pull away from beautiful, lovely, forgiving Regulus, who he knows he doesn’t deserve, even a little. “I left you there, Reg. I took your brother and I left you there—“

“Hey.” Regulus grabs his face harder, his tone harsh. “You’ve never hurt me, so don’t you dare blame yourself. James,” he warns when he presses his eyes closed. “Was it Sirius’ fault my mother hurt him?”

“Of course, not,” James snaps. Regulus doesn’t break eye contact.

“Was it my fault she hurt me?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Then why would it be yours?” he asks softly. When James doesn’t reply, Regulus wraps his arms around him tightly, his bare skin soft against James’ torso. “I love you. You’re so good to me, Jamie, but you can’t blame yourself for not protecting me when you had no idea I was in danger. You can hate my parents, but please don’t hate the love of my life.” James hugs him back, burying a kiss in his hair.

“I’d do anything for you. I’d kill them if you asked.”

“I know,” Regulus admits. “You’re a bit obsessed with me.” James laughs then, the sob he was holding dying in his throat as Regulus kisses him softly. “Are you still in the mood for sex?” Regulus suggests hopefully. “Three times does have a certain ring to it…” James rubs his eyes and reaches past him to rifle through his nightstand drawer. He pulls out a condom, holding it up to show Regulus.

“Yes?”

“Fuck, yes,” he declares excitedly, pulling James in by the neck to kiss him deeply. Regulus reaches down to palm him through his pyjama pants, fingers outlining his bulge in glee. “I’m finally going to see it,” he says with a devilish smile.

“And you claim I’m obsessed with you,” James scoffs, laying Regulus gently onto his back. His fingers run reverently over soft skin and sharp bones, Regulus shifting impatiently under his touch.

“Jamie,” he whines.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he replies, shedding his clothing with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Chapter Text

Sirius Black loves Christmas.

Really, he should say he loves the holidays, because the Potters celebrate Pancha Ganapati and the Lupins celebrate Hanukkah.

Sirius celebrates not being alone.

He was 17 when Remus softly observed that Sirius was afraid of quiet, always having to fill the silence lest it close in on him. Ever since, he’s tried to patiently allow Sirius the comforting balm of noise: in meaningless conversation and obnoxiously loud music, in reading novels aloud and ridiculous compliments whispered against his hair under the cover of night.

Truths have slipped out over the years, affirmations of the rumors that circle the Black family name like ravens. Cabinets locked from the outside, house staff paid off quietly, lies drilled into his head until he almost believed he broke his arm falling from the old oak tree in the yard. Fearful silence at perfunctory Sunday dinners, Sirius with his shirt tucked and Regulus in a dress for church.

If Sirius had been a better brother, Regulus being who he is might not have caught him off guard. The truth is, Sirius and Regulus didn’t speak once after Sirius moved in with the Potters at 16. They still went to the same school, still saw each in the dining hall and hallways, and neither said a word. It didn’t seem like a big change at the time. They had hardly spoken for years prior. It wasn’t a decision made out of spite. It seems easier to survive on your own when you’re young and don’t know who you can trust.

The brother he’s gotten to know in the last month hardly resembles the stoic kid he watched over from a distance during his last years at Hogwarts. (It turns out, having a little sibling you want to protect is a habit that dies hard.)

Turns out, Regulus is a force of nature too.

He is unapologetic at all times, whether he’s effortlessly hurting your feelings or demanding what he wants from the world. He dresses like a particularly classy paralegal, which is strange on a daily basis but somehow works for him. He’s funny, in a dry and witty sort of way. He smiles now. At James more often than not, but also when he’s paid a compliment, or has relaxed enough to enjoy himself. On rare occasions, the stars will align and he’ll smile in Sirius’ general direction.

He might have never gotten to know Regulus again if it weren’t for James’ absolutely atrocious taste in men.

Sirius owes James more money than he will ever have in his life for showing him what his little brother looks like happy.

“I’ll never admit that though,” he tells Remus matter-of-factly, putting Monty’s car into drive and backing out of the driveway. Remus snorts a laugh, scrolling through Spotify on his phone as he connects to the car’s stereo. Familiar piano chords play over the speakers. Sirius tips his head at his boyfriend, eyebrows raised.

“Lady Stardust?” Moony gives him a sultry wink, leaning back in the passenger’s seat.

“It’s about you.”

“I don’t know,” Sirius shrugs, pretending a blush isn’t spreading across his cheeks. “I think Rebel Rebel is more my song.”

“Maybe,” Remus starts, brown eyes tracing his profile fondly, “but I think every song is about you.” Sirius fixes his eyes on the road, failing to hide the stupid smile overtaking his face.

“You can’t say romantic shit when I’m driving.”

“Sorry,” he lies. A second later, a large hand squeezes Sirius’ inner thigh and he almost swerves off the road.

“Jesus, Moony! Are you trying to kill us?” Remus just laughs maniacally beside him. “You know that people think I’m a bad influence on you? You?! The guy feeling me up on our way to his dad’s house?!” Remus only laughs harder, his face buried in his arms. Sirius could live in the sound. “You’re an actual monster, Remus Lupin,” he pouts dramatically. The corner of a scarred lip ticks upward.

“Remember that for tonight.”

“Fuck.” Sirius blindly smacks Remus’ arm and crosses his legs, trying to think of anything else. “I hate you.” Remus just smiles triumphantly, leaning over and kissing his temple.

“I love you more than anything.” Sirius shakes his head in defeat, his voice softening as he watches the road.

“I love you, too, jackass.” Bowie sings through the radio, affection palpable in the air between them. A calloused hand strokes Sirius’ thigh again and he steels himself in response, gritting his teeth with the effort. “Don’t you fucking dare.” Remus takes one of his hands from off the wheel and kisses his knuckles with an absolutely shameless grin.

Thankfully, Sirius has controlled the situation by the time they arrive at a house full of his boyfriend’s relatives. Good; he has a tradition to uphold.

“Where is he?!” Sirius yells, charging into the house. Beside him, Remus scowls but doesn’t attempt to stop him. “You,” he declares when he spots Remus’ father, Lyall, across the living room, a glass of wine in hand as he talks to a middle-aged woman with blonde hair. Beside Sirius, a few of Remus’ cousins mutter in vague confusion. He ignores them, marching right up to Lyall and shoving a finger in his face. “You sexy bastard. You think you can up and leave without so much as a note? That’s the final straw. I’m telling your wife about us.” Lyall looks down at him without a hint of surprise, his expression stone.

“In my defense, I thought you’d be busier this time of year. Building toys in a workshop, perhaps.” Sirius gasps, a hand pressed to his chest. The blonde woman looks between him and Lyall, utterly confused.

“Is this… your son?”

“That remains to be seen.” What is that supposed to mean?

He doesn’t have time to dwell on the question as Remus appears, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and giving him a look that translates to ‘be good’. Which is ridiculous, because Sirius has been behaving marvelously. Remus offers a friendly smile and a hand to the woman.

“I’m Remus. Nice to meet you.” She shakes his hand, her expression relaxing.

“You must be Lyall’s son. I’m his girlfriend, Jade.” Remus nudges Sirius. He gives her a trademark charming smile.

“I’m his boyfriend. I’m Sirius.” She laughs.

“I believe you.” He frowns.

“No, I’m actually Sirius.” Her brow lowers, concerned.

“I know, you just said–”

“His name is Sirius,” Remus explains, glancing back at him in despair. “Why do you always do that?” He shrugs, an amused smirk on his face.

“It’s free.”

The rest of the evening goes well enough. While Remus engages in small talk, Sirius drinks in the kitchen with the only other queer person in the vicinity, Remus’ Aunt Cathy, who is happy to spill all kinds of decades long family drama for his entertainment. No one bats an eye at Sirius at Lupin family gatherings anymore. He’s as much a regular fixture as the furniture. The occasional little kid will ask Sirius if he's a girl, but it’s a fair enough question. Hell, it’s one he’s asked himself on occasion.

“Hey, there you are,” Remus says, his complexion a bit flushed and a drink in his hand. Sirius bounds over and hugs him just because he can. Remus wraps an arm around his waist. “Should’ve known Cathy stole you.” She raises a triumphant glass to her nephew.

“You lose someone that pretty, they’ll get scooped up fast.”

“I didn’t lose him,” Remus argues. “Sometimes I just look up for a second and then I look down and he’s gone.” Sirius stomps on his boyfriend’s toes.

“Fuck you. I’m not that short.”

“You tell him,” Cathy encourages. “Don’t let the tall people keep us down.

“Okay, Geez. Consider me chastised,” Remus laughs, warm brown eyes meeting his. Fingers skate teasingly up his arm. “I was looking for you.” Sirius smiles at that, reaching up to touch his face. He traces his thumb over the line of a scar.

“You found me.”

“Would you like to dance with me?” Sirius looks up at him, slightly suspicious. Remus has a much better alcohol tolerance than Sirius, and this is not a usual request.

“Do you even know how—“

“I want to learn.” He leans closer, his nose brushing Sirius’. “I like the way you look when you’re dancing. I think it would be nice if it was with me sometimes.”

“Okay,” he says, his cheeks heating more than they should. The only thing more embarrassing than developing a crush on your best friend, after all, is developing a crush on your boyfriend. “I’ll lead. Bye, Cathy!” Remus takes his hand and leads him out to the back porch. Sirius bumps Remus’ shoulder as he queues the music on his phone. Remus turns to Sirius hesitantly as "Somebody to Love" drifts through the speaker.

“How do we do this?” Sirius grabs his waist and his hand in answer, pulling him close despite his rigid posture.

“Relax, Moons. I’m not going to bite you.” Remus huffs, but the tension in his shoulders eases minutely.

“You might trip me.” Sirius sways in the winter air, pulling Remus gently along with him.

“Only if I had grand plans to catch you, my moonbeam.” Remus shifts closer until their chests are touching. Sirius tucks his chin over his shoulder.

“Do you have any grand plans I don’t know about?” Remus asks softly. His hand on Sirius’ shoulder slips over his back, their dance devolving into a slightly swaying embrace. “What’s next for the great Sirius Black?”

Sirius pretends to muse the question before settling on his answer. “I need at least sixty more years to obsess over this boy I know.” Remus stiffens in his grip.

“You’d better not be talking about James.”

“No,” Sirius sighs. “I think Reg would kill me in my sleep if that were the case.”

“I’d be tempted to kill James first for your love, honestly.” Sirius pulls back just enough to meet Remus’ gaze. He rises on his tip toes and leans forward slightly. Remus’ breath is warm against his lips.

“I love it when you’re jealous.” The door beside them opens, and they pull apart suddenly, caught in the act by hands affixed to each other's shoulders and waists. Jade takes in the sight instantly, a hint of amusement in her eyes.

“Sorry to interrupt. They want to exchange presents before people head home–”

“Yeah, no problem,” Remus says quickly. “We’ll be right in.” Sirius steps toward the door but Remus catches his wrist, spinning him back around. Any protest is cut off when Remus grabs him and kisses him like he’s trying to swallow the air from his lungs. Sirius is helpless but to return the favour, chasing his lips as he pulls away. Framed in the light of the doorway, Jade looks like she’s holding back a laugh.

“You look like you’ve done that once or twice.”

“What can I say?” Remus’ tone is casual and Sirius’ heart is exploding inside his chest. Remus has to lead him inside by the hand. “It never gets old.”

Sirius has seconds after Remus locks his bedroom door to brace himself against the wall. Hands reach to cradle his face, hips press against his, and any coherent thought melts when Remus savagely licks into his mouth.

“Moons,” he manages to pant. “Your dad is downstairs.” Remus nods, barely breaking the kiss.

“Yes. The sky is blue.” Remus crowds forward, pushing a thigh between Sirius’ legs and boxing him in with his hands pressed to the wall, a devastatingly hungry look in his eyes. Heat pools in Sirius’ gut and, sorry Lyall, Sirius is definitely not saying no.

He rises on his toes and kisses him back with abandon. Remus smells like old wool sweaters and spruce, and even though he has Sirius physically cornered at the moment, he feels safer like this than anywhere else. His hips roll forward with the kiss and he’s pretty much done for.

“You win. Bed. Please.” Remus smiles sinfully and steps away. Sirius’ heart skips a beat as he looks him up and down, eyes catching approvingly. He tips his head silently toward the bed and Sirius rushes to comply, unbuttoning his shirt until Remus takes over the task with steady fingers. He sheds his own sweater before tipping Sirius’ chin upwards. Brown eyes study his affectionately.

“You have to be quiet, love.”

Fucking hell.

He offers Remus an arrogant smile.

“Make me.”

December 25th

Sirius is driving, they’re holding hands over the centre console, and in 20 minutes, Remus has not stopped anxiously bouncing his leg.

“If the cops are after us, it would be good to know so I could drive faster.” Remus looks up sharply, the nail he was chewing released from between his teeth.

“What?”

“I’m just saying,” Sirius continues, undeterred, “I would help you hide a body. No questions asked. I’m your ride or die, baby.” Remus stares at him in utter confusion.

“I haven’t killed anyone.”

“That’s slightly disappointing, but also leaves the question of what you’re freaking out about.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Remus insists, and Sirius would believe him if he didn’t know him better than anyone. Whatever it is, he clearly doesn’t want to share.

“Okay,” Sirius shrugs concedingly. “As long as it’s not about me.” A spark of panic appears in Remus’ eyes before it’s quickly put out.

“Nothing’s wrong, I promise. I love you, Pads. I’m absolutely crazy about you.” Remus isn’t making eye contact, but he squeezes Sirius’ hand reassuringly. It doesn’t matter. Sirius believes the important part, because the two of them have always felt the same.

“I love you, too, weirdo.”

Monty is shovelling the walk when they arrive, the driveway already cleared.

“Hi, Dad. Do you want help?” He looks up at Sirius, his smile instantaneously.

“Nah, I’m all good. You head inside, okay?” He glances at Remus, his smile unwavering. “I need to have a chat with your other half for a bit.”

That was weird, Sirius thinks as he steps inside. Something sinister is definitely going on.

Speaking of sinister, he can hear James’ voice from the kitchen, accompanied by Regulus’ laugh, and Sirius has left them unsupervised for far too long.

Sure enough, James is standing behind Regulus at the kitchen counter, fingers trailing leisurely over his hips. Regulus doesn’t acknowledge the contact, he’s fully concentrated on rolling cookie dough. James notices Sirius and gives him a smile completely devoid of shame.

“Welcome back, Pads.”

“If you’d like to keep your hands, I’d suggest moving them far away from my baby brother’s ass.” James looks mildly shocked but he shifts his hands upward to circle Regulus’ waist. “Good.” Sirius cheerfully sits at the counter, reaching across to snatch a bit of cookie dough out of the bowl and pop it in his mouth. “How are you, Reggie?” He is met with an unamused scowl.

“He’s your best friend. Be nice.”

“He’s also a guy, so he needs to know that I would kill without remorse to protect you. You don’t want him to fear you, that’s fine. I can be the scary one for a change.”

“That’s valid,” James mumbles against Regulus’ shoulder.

“See? No problem if we’re all agreed.” Sirius hops off his stool, grabbing a ball of cookie dough off the pan.

“No.” Regulus points a spatula at him threateningly. “Give it back.” He shoves it in his mouth, pointing at James as he exits.

“You’ve been warned, Potter. Respect him or else.”

Sirius might not be imagining the barest hint of a smile on Regulus’ face.

When the doorbell rings that afternoon, it interrupts Sirius and James urgently explaining to Regulus why Chad and Ryan are a couple as they watch High School Musical 2. Remus is sitting beside Sirius, his arm around him, but his mind is somewhere else entirely. Sirius turns and kisses him every once in a while just to draw his attention and a smile.

“I’ll get it,” James says, kissing Reggie’s hair as he jumps up from the couch. Sirius pauses the movie, surprised at the familiar voice he hears when James opens the door.

“Peter?” he calls, standing up and crossing to the entryway.

“Hey, Pads,” he answers casually, handing James his jacket to hang up. “Happy Holidays.”

“You too, but what are you doing here?” Peter just shrugs, his face betraying nothing.

“It’s a special occasion.” Sirius is searching for a response when he hears a car pulling up on the street outside. He pulls open the door and steps onto the porch in his socks, gazing on in confusion as Lily, Mary, and Marlene step out of the car.

“What is going on?” he demands loudly. Beside him, James shrugs, oblivious but pleased as their friends converge on their home. Effie appears moments later, warmly embracing Peter before pushing past Sirius at the door to get to ‘her girls’. “Was this planned? Why did I not know about this?”

“Well I think it’s the best kind of surprise,” James remarks cheerfully, pulling Lily into his arms. “Is everyone staying the night?”

“Nah,” says Marlene, stooped down to keep her head on Effie’s shoulder. “We’ll leave again this evening. Things’ll be crazy enough for you guys tonight.” A question dies on Sirius’ lips as Effie waves them all in the direction of the living room, keeping James with her to help cook. The girls instantly converge around Remus, whispering behind their hands in hushed tones. Peter avoids Sirius’ eyes, his demeanor friendly but guarded. He catches Regulus watching him, but his eyes reveal nothing.

The movie finishes and Remus excuses himself to who knows where, his face ashen when he briefly glances at Sirius. Everyone else disappears quickly after that, leaving Sirius standing in the doorway, distraught despite his best attempts not to be. A hand grazes his arm and he turns to see Regulus, a hint of pity in his grey eyes.

“Let’s go up to your room for a second.” Sirius feels himself nod and lets his brother lead him up the stairs.

Sirius sits crosslegged on his bed as Regulus closes the door gently.

“They’re not trying to scare you. For the record, I tried to tell them you don’t like surprises.”

“Can I know, then?”

“No, sorry,” Regulus says, stepping to where Sirius and Remus’ clothes are hung in the closet. He flips through before settling on a off-white collared shirt, the sleeves billowy. He pulls it off the hanger and tosses it at Sirius. “Put that on.” He examines Sirius appraisingly. “Do you have any jeans that don’t look like they've been mauled by a bear?”

“No.” Sirius pulls off his oversized sweater and puts the shirt on, tucking it into his black jeans. He crosses to his dresser and grabs a belt to complete the look. “Is there any particular reason you’ve dressed me like a pirate?” He turns and Regulus is right there, examining him closely.

“Add a necklace. And dangly earrings. Then retouch your eyeliner. You should look okay after.”

“Wow, thanks,” Sirius remarks dryly. “You know, you’re the last person I ever expected to give me fashion advice. But while you’re at it…” Sirius steps past Regulus to his closet, searching for something in the back. He finds it after a moment, spinning to Regulus with a wicked smile. “Consider this a gift to your boyfriend.”

Regulus looks at the cropped black button down with disdain. “Just because you’re a slut–”

“I’m a–” Sirius gapes at his brother, offended. “I am not a slut, Regulus. I dress for myself and what my plans are for the night–’

“Oh my God,” Regulus groans in disgust.

“I didn’t mean sex! Why did your mind go there, huh? Regulus Black, look me in the eye–” Regulus’ laugh catches him off guard, loud and uncaring. It’s a nice laugh. He might let him get away without a lecture just this once. “Fine,” he concedes, pretending to be irritated. “Well you keep that shirt–”

“This is half a shirt at most.”

“And if you decide to wear it, I won’t slutshame you like you did to me, because I am mature and supportive–”

“Yeah, right.” Regulus rolls his eyes, but he keeps the shirt in hand.

“Also, what’s wrong with my eyeliner? I’m sure it’s fine–”

“The wings are crooked.”

“They are not–”

“Just sit down. I’m fixing it for you.” Sirius plops down on the bed as Regulus sorts through the makeup bag on his dresser.

“Okay, fine.”

“You’re welcome,” Regulus says haughtily, sitting in front of Sirius on the bed. Sirius stays stubbornly silent for a moment. Regulus ignores him, concentrating as he smoothly traces over his waterline.

“Thank you,” Sirius admits quietly. Regulus only gives him a triumphant smirk in answer.

When Sirius returns downstairs, it’s to find everyone preparing for supper. It’s clear from their smiles and shared looks they’re in on the secret, anticipating something. Except for James, that is. James seems just as clueless as Sirius, which is reassuring in its own way.

Mary is the first to spot him, her mouth falling open in surprise. “Oh. You’re dressed up. Doesn’t he look pretty, Remus?”

The question hangs in the air, as Remus turns to look at him, admiration and fear balanced perfectly in his eyes. His gaze doesn’t waver from Sirius’ face.
“He always looks pretty.” Sirius is quickly ushered to the table as the food is put out. Monty pulls out his chair for him, beside Remus on the end of the table, and he’s far past the point of trying to understand. He’s just sitting next to his plainly nervous boyfriend, wearing a soft t-shirt and an old denim jacket, and he’s smiling warmly at Sirius.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Sirius whispers back, his voice oddly soft. The conversations around them are far quieter than they would be naturally and Sirius has no doubt they’re eavesdropping.

“I’m sorry for worrying you today.” Soft brown eyes draw him back to the moment as Remus takes his hand on the tablecloth. “I really didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” he says, because it’s what he’s supposed to say, and he really hopes this will be worth it.

“I mean it,” Remus insists. “Yeah, I’m scared, but putting you first is the whole point of this.”

“What–” Their joined hands knock Remus’ fork off and under the table, both of them moving to go pick it up.

“Pads, I’ve got it.”

“No, let me, your knees–”

“Pads,” Remus repeats, his tone fond and distraught at once. Sirius meets his eye and returns to his chair. Remus kneels between their chairs, shaking his head incredulously as he looks up at Sirius. He doesn’t reach for the fork. He reaches for his jacket pocket.

“Oh my God,” James exclaims loudly as Remus pulls out the ring box. He is aggressively shushed by the others, but yeah. That’s exactly what Sirius was thinking.

Except now he’s hardly thinking at all, with Remus in front of him proposing, brown eyes filled with a kind of vulnerable, desperate hope. Like he wants Sirius completely, to love him in every facet of the word.

“I’ve thought a lot about how I would ask you this, and never once actually decided. Well, that’s not true.” Remus laughs, and Sirius’ heart helplessly chases the sound to its source. “I was going to ask you on your birthday. James and Regulus so kindly decided to throw a wrench in the works, but now you get to have them here. Hopefully you don’t mind that we have an audience.” Remus pauses, the moment silent. “The truth is I need you more than I thought anyone could possibly need someone else. I want every minute of every day and I miss you the second you leave a room. I’ve loved you since we were practically kids, and we had no idea what we were doing, but I knew at 16 that I wanted to marry you. I knew it the first time I walked into our dorm and this absolutely gorgeous, stuck-up, popular little rich kid took one look at my scars and asked if I had ever been to jail.”

“I’m so sorry, Moony,” Sirius interrupts, tears streaming down his face. “That was awful of me.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Remus says quickly, carefully wiping the tears from his face. “I love that memory. That’s how I met the person I fell in love with. My one and only, Sirius. I could live a million lifetimes and it would always be you. You light up my life, and you drive me crazy, and I never want to live to see a day where I have to wake up without you. I’m tired of pretending that you’re not my everything, Sirius Black.” He tries to focus on Remus through the tears in his eyes, distantly worried his eyeliner is an absolute mess.

“Lupin,” he manages, his voice shaky. Remus’ eyes narrow.

“What?” Sirius slides a hand into Remus’ hair, bringing their foreheads together clumsily.

“I’m changing my name to Sirius Lupin, in case anyone couldn’t already tell I’m yours.” A sob escapes his throat, bubbling out hysterically. “Oh my God, you’re going to be my husband.” Remus pulls back a little, his expression slightly put out.

“I didn’t ask you yet.”

“I’ll ask you,” Sirius threatens, going to kneel.
“No!” Remus pins him by his hips to keep him in his chair. “Will you marry me, Sirius Orion Black?”

“No idea. You haven’t shown me my ring yet.” Remus shoves the ring box into his hands. Sirius opens it gingerly, starting to cry again when he sees the delicate gold band. A bright diamond, with two more engraved into the surface, sparkling like stars. “It’s so pretty,” he admits to Remus grudgingly.

“Of course, it’s pretty, I don’t want you to take it off,” Remus explains. Sirius slips it on his ring finger, watching as it catches the light.

“Ask again.” He meets Remus’ eyes, earnestly pleading. “Please.” Remus takes his hands gently, his own eyes wet and shining.

“Sirius Orion Black. Padfoot. The bane of my existence. The love of my life. Will you make me the happiest man alive?”

“Yes,” he says, grabbing Remus by the collar and kissing him like he’s trying to swallow him whole. Someone yanks the chairs away as Sirius’ straddles his fiance’s lap on the dining room floor, strong hands wrapped tightly around his waist. “I love you,” he declares before kissing him again, arms wound around his neck.

“I love you more.” Remus smiles blindingly back at him and their kiss falls apart, messy as they start laughing, limbs sprawled together on the floor.
“Yeah, I don’t think he cared that we were here,” Peter remarks dryly. Sirius just barely has time to steady himself before James throws his arms around him.

“You’re getting married!”

“I know! Look at my fiancé!” Remus smiles as James practically squeezes the life out of Sirius. When he’s been freed, Sirius stumbles to his feet, searching for one person only.

“Congratulations,” says Regulus, wincing as Sirius hugs him tightly. “I did a quick genealogy search and the great news is: you two aren’t related.” Sirius breaks out laughing, which almost borders on sobbing, because he’s feeling a lot at the moment. Regulus hugs him back gently. “I’m so happy for you, Sirius.”

“Is there eyeliner leaking down my face right now?” he asks, pulling away slightly.

“No, it’s still perfect. I didn’t put any under your eyes for that reason.”

“That’s a relief. Thank you.” Sirius turns back around to see Remus receiving his own congratulations, love flooding his eyes as he looks at Sirius. He opens his arms and Sirius runs into them, pulled close under his chin.

“I still can’t believe you said yes.”

“I love the ring. I couldn’t resist.” He can practically hear Remus rolling his eyes.

“Of course. Has nothing to do with me.”

“I never said that. You are kind of cute.” Remus grabs his waist suddenly, dipping him slightly back to meet his eyes, heavy in their intensity.

“You’re extraordinary.” He leans forward to meet him, noses brushing as he whispers. “Best of all, you’re mine.”

Sirius adjusts his grip on his shoulders, letting Remus support his weight as he leans up to reach his lips. He catches a glimpse of the diamond on his hand in his peripheral.

“Yours forever, Moony.”

Chapter Text

Peter sighs. He’s leaned over the kitchen counter, blond head resting next to his pina colada with a little umbrella like it’s something much stronger and he’s a divorced dad of three. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

“How so?” asks Sirius, popping another maraschino cherry in his mouth. He wraps a hand around his drink and his ring clinks against the glass, a blissful smile appearing as he glances at it. Peter throws his hands up, exasperated.

“For the last week, I’ve been stuck with you and Lupin giggling like idiots every time you make eye contact or shoving your tongues down each other's throats and trying to get it on against any flat surface. Now, I’m at a party with a bunch of couples who aren’t engaged but are nearly as bad.” He looks pointedly at Regulus and he balks, trying to look innocent.

“James and I leave the flat surfaces in your apartment undefiled, thank you very much.” Regulus pries his hands off the counter, suddenly paranoid. “Wait…”

“Fine. I won’t have sex with Remus at this party. I make no guarantees afterward.”

“Let’s install a no PDA rule then,” Regulus suggests. Sirius and Peter both look at him like he’s grown a second head. “Just for the party. We’ll make it a game. No touching the person you’re dating. Unless you’re really not capable of keeping it in your pants for a few hours, Sirius.” It’s a challenge, and from the set of his jaw, Sirius knows it.

“I’ll be just fine.” He shakes Regulus’ hand firmly, the corner of his mouth ticking up as he glances over his outfit. “Good luck getting James to comply, though.”

Regulus looks down at his clothes and nearly swears. He had forgotten he was wearing the black crop top from Sirius, exposing the curve of his waist above his green cargo pants. He looks surprisingly good. He might even look hot, if his glance in the mirror earlier was to be trusted.

It is going to be a trial keeping James at bay this evening.

At least Sirius isn’t in a much better position fashion-wise, Regulus reassures himself as their friends start to arrive. His brother is dressed to tempt in a burgundy dress and wildly ripped fishnets, combat boots on inside the apartment. Then again, Remus seems to have more self-control than James, at least publicly. Regulus really doesn’t need to know if his brother’s boyfriend shows less restraint behind closed doors.

“Fuck you and a merry New Year,” is Marlene’s response when informed of the no-PDA-challenge. “We are not doing that.”

“Yeah, we are,” Dorcas corrects, pulling unceremoniously out of Marlene’s arms. “If James can resist Reg’s waist, you can keep your hands off me. Besides, we are so fucking winning this thing.” Sirius scoffs.

“I think you overestimate McKinnon.”

“If anyone’s going to win, it’s going to be Pandora and Lily,” Regulus states. “Then again, there are some unpredictable elements at play here—“

“Sirius Motherfucking Princess Black.” Barty wears an expression of admiration and awe as he stands in the doorway, examining Sirius from head to toe. His voice dips lower, as if some great calamity has struck him. “Congrats on your engagement, beautiful. I couldn’t forget you if I tried.” Sirius stares back at him, utterly perplexed.

“Do I know you?”

“We’ve seen each other, yeah,” Barty replies mournfully, kicking at the floor. “Mostly in my dreams.” Regulus bangs his head against the wall with a groan. Evan’s hand slips under his head to stop it from colliding with the drywall. He nods warmly to Sirius and Peter.

“Evan Rosier. I see you’ve met my boyfriend.”

Sirius only looks more confused as Dorcas takes over explaining to Barty and Evan that they’re not allowed to touch each other for the night. They shrug, completely uncaring. Marlene and Dorcas start towards the kitchen to grab drinks, and Evan leads Regulus in that direction.

“You look fantastic.” He smiles brightly as his cold fingers settle on Regulus’ bare waist, his arm wrapped around his back. “Sexy, in fact.”

“Your fingers are cold,” Regulus snaps. Evan grins deviously, places another freezing hand on his waist, and pulls him into the kitchen.

They’re only there for a few moments before they hear new voices at the door: Remus, Mary, and (Regulus' heart embarrassingly skips a beat) James. There is a small amount of cacophony as the rules of the night are explained, met by grateful thanks by Mary, grudging acceptance by Remus, and worrying silence from James. Regulus holds his breath as his boyfriend walks into the kitchen.
James takes one look at Regulus, turns around, and slams his head into the wall with a groan.

“I can borrow one of your shirts if you want. I don’t have to wear this,” Regulus offers meekly. James’ head whips around, his eyes wild.

“No, you– You look beautiful. Please do not change clothes.” Regulus’ throat goes dry as James’ eyes continue to pour over him, hunger swirling in their depths. “They can’t stop me from looking.”

“They certainly can’t,” Regulus chokes out, fighting to ignore his body’s guttural reaction to James’ heated gaze and proximity. He rips his eyes away, stumbling into the counter on his way to pour himself a glass of water with shaking hands. Regulus takes a deep breath and uses his water glass to mix a strong vodka cran.

Pandora and Lily are the last to arrive. The look of sadness that crosses their eyes as they are ordered to stop holding hands almost has Regulus calling off the whole thing. He stops himself, because Sirius would consider that an admission of defeat.

It’s only once they’re settled in the living room with their drinks that Dorcas points out a loophole.

“Wait. Is that allowed?” Regulus looks up from where he’s curled against Evan’s side to see everyone staring at them.

“Is what allowed?”

“PDA with someone you’re not dating?”

“I mean… yeah? We’re just sitting next to each other, so…”

“Oh thank God.” Regulus scans James’ face for jealousy but finds only relief. “I can’t go that long without hugging someone.” James grabs Sirius and pulls him onto his lap on the couch. Sirius leans back against him without complaint, straightening his dress around his knees. Regulus scowls, dismayed.

“That is not hugging.” James looks back at him innocently.

“Cuddling your friends is healthy.”

“Sure, if the friend isn’t my brother.”

“In his defense, his type is immaculate,” Barty compliments, laying his head on Regulus’ lap.

“And you three are definitely just as touchy as me and James,” Sirius defends.

“If you’re not a little bit gay for your friends, are you even friends?” Marlene asks sagely, sprawling across Mary’s legs.

“Sirius and James have always been utterly obsessed with each other, Reg,” Remus says softly. “Take it from me that you have nothing to worry about. They tried to kiss each other at a party once and it was the most awkward affair I’ve ever witnessed.” James fixes his wide, pleading eyes on Regulus and he caves instantly.

“Fine. Do whatever the fuck you want.”

“That’s quite generous of you, Reg,” Pandora remarks honestly. “I’d feel very put out if Lily and Evan cuddled in front of me.”

“I have no plans to steal your girl,” Evan assures his sister. Lily stares into space, her mind clearly racing.

“If Petunia ever sits on your lap, I will fully assume I’m hallucinating.” Pandora shrugs noncommittally.

“Stranger events have been known to occur.”

Tensions seem to ease once they start playing Cards Against Humanity, though Peter seems increasingly disturbed by their responses. Regulus had made some assumptions on who in the group would have the dirtiest mind, and he is proven dead wrong. Every card Remus plays is either revoltingly filthy or frighteningly dark, and Sirius laughs maniacally at every one of them. Regulus figures their future marriage will work out fine.

Afterward, someone procures a case of hard lemonade and a game of never have I ever is proposed. Lily goes first.

“Never have I ever used Chat GPT on a school assignment.” Marlene drinks. Peter, Barty, Mary, and James follow. Lily, Dorcas, and Remus wear expressions of immense disappointment. Sirius winces as he downs a shot glass.

“Sorry, babe.” Marlene refills everyone’s glasses.

“My turn,” says Pandora, looking up as she thinks. “Never have I ever thrown recycling in the garbage.” Everyone drinks in unison. Pandora looks heartbroken. “Lily?!”

“I’m so sorry,” Lily whispers, genuine remorse in her eyes. The shots are repoured.

“Okay,” says Marlene. “Moving on.” Mary suddenly leans over and whispers in her ear. Marlene smiles evilly. “Never have I ever kissed a Black brother.” James and Remus drink automatically. Mary follows with a wink at Sirius. A hesitant lull occurs before Barty, Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora drink.

James looks to Sirius first.

“Not me. Why would I kiss Reg’s friends?” Then James is looking at Regulus in dismay, jealousy in his eyes as he takes in the way he’s sandwiched between Barty and Evan. Regulus flashes him his most innocent smile.

“Kissing your friends is healthy?”

“My turn,” Mary declares, a wicked glint in her eyes. “Never have I ever had sex with a Black brother.” Remus drinks proudly. The smile on Sirius’ face falls the instant that James reaches for his glass. Sirius is off his lap in an instant, eyes wide with horror as James drinks. Regulus’ worst nightmare plays out in real time. Well, not all of them yet.

“Ahem,” Barty says with a devilish smirk, tapping his glass to the rim of Evan’s. They both throw back their shots as Sirius and James’ jaws drop. Regulus looks back at them sheepishly, painfully conscious of Evan’s arm around his shoulder and Barty’s hand on his thigh.

“It was before we were dating,” he promises James. “I don’t cheat.”

“I know that, baby.” James bites the inside of his cheek, his gaze clouded as it lingers where Barty and Evan’s hands rest against his skin. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Sirius whines, curled up in a ball in front of the couch.

“No more questions about me,” Regulus orders. “If I’m going to be exposed, I want to at least get trashed at the same time.”

“Deal,” says Dorcas. “From now on, you can’t mention anyone in the question. Never have I ever had a crush on my best friend.” Predictably, Sirius, Remus, Barty, and Evan have to down their shots. Regulus feels less bad about drinking his when he sees James do the same. Marlene and Lily both drink as well. James watches with a sigh as Mary refills his glass.

“I’ve had to drink for every question. We need to start targeting Pandora.” Peter looks at her, calculating his decision.

“Never have I ever volunteered for a non-profit organization.” Pandora, Lily, Mary, Dorcas, James, Remus, and Regulus drink. Lily looks at the others, aghast.

“How have you lived this long and never volunteered for a charity?” Sirius shrugs.

“People ask and I say no.”

“I’m representing women in male dominated fields,” Marlene declares proudly.

“Never have I ever had a one night stand,” Remus says. Everyone but Sirius drinks.

“Not sure I believe that,” Barty says, looking Sirius up and down. “You look like that and no one’s ever taken you home from a party?”

“He’s telling the truth,” Peter interrupts. “The only guy who’s taken him home asked the question.”

“He’s the only one who ever will,” Sirius says with a revoltingly affectionate smile directed at Remus. Barty sinks into Regulus’ lap with a sigh of utter despair.

“I knew he was too good to be true.”

James wears a thoughtful, bothered expression that Regulus does not like the look of.

“Never have I ever had a threesome,” James says. Mary drinks. Regulus avoids eye contact as he, Barty, and Evan down theirs in unison.

“Sorry,” he manages.

“Reg.” When Regulus glances up, James’ eyes are soft. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Yes, very sweet,” Sirius interrupts. Glasses are hurriedly refilled from another quickly opened can. “Never have I ever traumatized a platonic friend by discussing my attraction to a member of their immediate family.”

“Well played,” James mumbles, drinking. Barty and Marlene do, too.

“I feel like I owe Pandora an apology and money for therapy at this point,” Barty explains.

“I’m counting my crush on James’ mom,” Marlene says with a smirk. James groans in apparent pain.

“I hate this game.”

Barty grins wildly, propping himself against Regulus’ shoulder. “Never have I ever been in an exclusive relationship.” Everyone but Evan and Peter are forced to drink.

“Fuck you,” Sirius sputters. Barty winks at him.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, beautiful.” Regulus smacks his friend’s arm.

“Stop that. Never have I ever had a crush on a girl.” Dorcas flips Regulus the finger. Sirius meets his eye proudly as everyone else takes a shot.

“Nice one, Reggie.”

“Last can,” Peter declares, popping the tab.

“Last question,” Evan responds. “Never have I ever been tied up by a sexual partner.” Barty drinks with a wild grin. Dorcas and Sirius both sheepishly take a shot. Marlene reaches over and enthusiastically high fives Remus. Regulus reaches for his glass, raises it to the group, and downs it.

“I think I hate you, Rosier,” James says calmly. Evan just smiles and turns to Regulus, pushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Sorry, Reg. I couldn’t resist.” Regulus sighs and lays down on the living room carpet. Barty follows, eagerly curling up beside him.

“Just leave me here to die,” Regulus deadpans.

“Aww, poor Reggie.” Pandora lays down on his other side, joining their hands between them. Sirius blinks down at them.

“You guys are fucking weird.” He steps around them with a shrug. “Come on, Moons, we need snacks.” He lets his head thud onto the carpet and closes his eyes.

“Regulus?” James’ voice is gentle. “Are you okay?”

“He’ll be fine, James, he’s just dramatic,” Dorcas assures him. “Give him some space, alright?” James obeys. Footsteps drift to the kitchen.

“He’s not actually mad,” Barty whispers directly into Regulus’ ear. “I can tell.”

“He has no right to,” Pandora agrees, “and the James I know doesn’t think he owns you.”

“Really, we did you a favour,” Barty claims, propping himself up on his hands to grin down at Regulus. “From now on, he’s going to be very determined to outdo us in bed. Might spice up your vanilla sex life.” Regulus shoves him to the ground as he laughs. “Not that you aren’t fantastic in bed, but he—“ Regulus cuts him off by pressing his hands over his mouth. Barty happily licks his hand.

“Gross.”

“Feeling better?” Evan asks, stepping into the room with a drink in hand. Regulus huffs, releasing Barty.

“No thanks to you.”

“I’ll get you a drink to make up for it, if you'd like.”

“No, you won’t,” James says forcefully, appearing in the doorway. His eyes only soften when he looks at Regulus. “What can I get you, sweetheart?” A second passes in which his thoughts don’t fully compute.

“Just a coke, please.”

“Sure thing, love.” He glances back at Evan, his smile instantly switching to a glare. Barty laughs and leans in close as James steps out of the room.

“Your man is cute when he’s jealous.”

“Shut up,” Regulus mutters. Marlene and Dorcas reappear, stepping over Pandora on their way to the couch.

“No PDA, McKinnon!” Sirius calls after them. “The competition still stands!” Marlene groans back at him.

“Come on, Black. When was the last party that you and Remus didn’t conspicuously disappear together? Where are you sleeping if this contest lasts all night?”

“With James.”

“Absolutely not,” Regulus snaps.

“With Wormy, then.”

“Please, no,” Peter pleads.

“You can always come home with me, Black,” Barty offers, kicking his feet in the air.

“Yeah, that’ll be a no. I don’t want to know anything about your kink for me, thanks.”

“Are we going to play another game?” asks Lily, sipping from a pink cocktail. She sets the other in her hand on the floor for Pandora. “Or watch a movie?”

“Aren’t we supposed to time it to midnight?” Mary yawns, leaned against Remus’ shoulder. “So the New Year starts with “I am Iron Man,” or “I was good. I was really good.” Regulus bolts upright like a shot.

“No!” Barty backs away from him quickly.

“We don’t mention the Dead Poets Society around Reg,” Pandora explains. He curls up in a ball, his face tucked against his knees.

“I’ll never be over Neil.”

“He has a point,” Remus sympathizes.

“You’re not making me cry on New Years,” Sirius orders. “Someone pick something else.”

“Barbie,” Marlene says immediately, looking up from her phone on the couch. James pauses midway through handing Regulus his can of coke, a grin appearing on his face.

“Hell, yeah. Let’s watch Barbie.”

“We should play Oppenheimer on another screen at the same time for the full experience,” Barty insists.

“No,” says Sirius sharply, sitting next to Peter on the couch. “This is a Barbie household.”

Regulus stands as the movie starts. “I’m going to make some popcorn.”

“Bring me some,” Dorcas orders, leaning against the couch beside Lily. Regulus nods, leaving the lights off as he enters the kitchen. He knows without looking that James followed him. He opens the cupboard and pulls out the box of microwave popcorn.

“Careful, Potter. They might think we’re breaking the rules.” Regulus puts a bag in and closes the microwave as two hands bracket the counter on either side of his hips. James leans in close, carefully not making contact.

“The popcorn button never works,” James explains, his voice low in Regulus’ ear. He reaches up, types in 2:40, and hits start. Regulus swallows as he turns around, dim orange light reflecting off James’ features as the microwave hums quietly behind them. Regulus exhales, searching for courage.

“Sorry about the game earlier.”

“What part of it are you sorry about?” Brown eyes study him carefully, pupils wide in the dark. Regulus sighs.

“You’re going to make me say it?”

“I can’t read your mind, so–”

“I’m sorry I used to sleep with my friends.” James looks down at him and laughs.

“No, you’re not.” Regulus looks back at him in confusion.

“What?”

“You’re not sorry,” James insists, leaning closer. “That was before we knew each other, and they obviously treated you well, so why would you be sorry?”

“Because I care about you?” Regulus responds, incredulous, “and it obviously bothers you.”

“Yeah,” James admits. “It bothers me. And not because of some sexual purity kind of thing, but because you’re still close with them. None of my exes have wanted to be friends after. So I feel inferior to people who have known you for longer and who I know mean a lot to you. It’s worse knowing that I’ve never had you in a way they haven’t.”

“When we first started dating, I thought you and Sirius might be a thing.” James opens his mouth to protest but Regulus raises a hand to stop him. “I know you’re not, now. But back then, I was afraid I was just your replacement because you couldn’t have him. Pretty Black family genetics and all that.”

“Not true,” James tells him earnestly.

“Well, you’re not my replacement, either.” Regulus offers his boyfriend a reassuring smile, leaning back against the counter. “And I didn’t love them the same way I love you.” The worry melts from James’ face, unadulterated affection in his eyes.

“Good. And if you like being tied up, I’d be happy to arrange it.” Regulus pulls back in surprise as James happily reaches past him to take out the bag of popcorn, replacing it with another. He pulls open the bag and licks the butter off his fingers with a wink as Regulus watches. “You’re thinking about it.”

“Shut up,” Regulus hisses, moving to retrieve bowls.

“Not joking. I’d do it right now if it weren’t for that stupid rule.” Regulus nearly drops a glass bowl on the floor, barely managing to get the stack safely onto the counter. James beams innocently at him from where he sits beside the sink. “You blush when you’re flustered. You look pretty, all red.” Regulus hides his face in his arms, folded over on the counter. He’s well aware James will just stare at his ass instead. James retrieves the next bag from the microwave without complaint. “You make it hard to be good, you know,” he whispers on his way past.

“James?” Sirius calls from the living room. “You’d better not be doing anything ungentlemanly in there.” James sighs.

“That’s my cue. But sweetheart?” He glances back, his gaze proud. “Anything you want, you come to me. Understood?”

Regulus tilts his head coyly, his most innocent smile conjured from thin air.

“Yes, Daddy.” James’ jaw drops and Regulus hears the click of a remote as someone pauses the movie in the other room. No one makes a sound as Sirius appears and slaps James across the back of the head.

“Why the fuck did I have to hear my baby brother call you–”

“He doesn’t call me that, I swear! He’s never said that before right now–”

“Like I believe that, you sick fuck!”

“Because he’s evil sometimes, I love him, but he’s pure evil and he knew you were eavesdropping–”

Regulus pulls out a stool at the counter and pours himself a bowl of popcorn, watching Sirius and James fight.

“Hey.” Remus appears beside him, grabbing his own bowl of popcorn.

“We’re not keeping the movie paused for your fistfight!” Marlene yells from the living room.

“Hit play, then!” Sirius yells back.

“You and James are good then, I take it?” Remus asks.

“Yeah, we’re good. I mean, he’s definitely jealous—“ Remus leans closer and whispers in his ear. Regulus smiles wide. “Lupin, you’re a fucking genius.”

In the end, the movie wasn’t timed for some profound quote to play at midnight. The New Year rings in with the line “A podcast hosted by two wise trees.”

An omen, Pandora declares.

Regulus lets his actions speak for themselves as he leans across the couch to kiss Remus full on the mouth.

Predictably, Remus Lupin is an excellent kisser. The experience is somewhat ruined by Sirius yelling bloody murder at him.

“Does this mean fucking nothing to you?!” Sirius brandishes his engagement ring like a rifle. Someone pauses the movie. “It’s one thing for James to betray me, but you?!”

“Well, I’m not allowed to kiss you, am I?” Regulus may be terrified, but Remus appears to be having the time of his life. “I had to settle for the closest thing.” James takes the guilt trip route.

“I feel deeply betrayed.”

“Like you wouldn’t kiss Remus if you had the chance,” Marlene scoffs. She and Dorcas both give Mary a passionate kiss on the cheek. Mary looks pleasantly shocked.

“You know,” Barty starts, unsubtly checking out Sirius, “there’s a way you can get back at him. Just saying.” Sirius looks him up and down, plainly unimpressed.

“You?”

Barty smirks. “You could do worse, darling.”

Sirius looks at Remus, then looks at Regulus beside him, regret already apparent in his eyes. “Fine.”

Barty looks like he’s won the lottery as he steps forward and kisses Sirius. Regulus sees Barty’s tongue go into his mouth. It is revolting. Sirius breaks away forcibly when Barty’s hand snakes down to his ass.

“I can’t do this. Oh God.” He curls up in a ball on the couch, his eyes haunted. “I forgive you, Remus, just take me back.”

Remus looks at Regulus apologetically. “I can’t say no to that.”

“Weak,” Regulus deadpans. James is still pouting, his eyes never leaving Regulus. Evan stands up with a knowing smile.

“Come here, Potter.” James’ eyes widen, that jealousy flaring up again.

“You’re kidding.” Evan just smiles politely.

“Not at all. Besides, I think Reg would like it.” He looks at Regulus and winks, and then James is staring at Regulus, his gaze calculating. He blinks and James has Evan by the collar, kissing him.
His throat admittedly goes a little dry watching.

James pulls away and stubbornly wipes his mouth. “I still don’t like you.”

“You’re right,” Evan says to Regulus. “He is good at that.”

“Um,” says Peter quietly, watching from the corner of the couch in horror. “Where are Lily and Pandora?” Dorcas meets Regulus’ eye knowingly and they cross to the kitchen doorway at the same time.

Pandora is sitting on the counter. Lily is standing between her legs. Pandora’s hand is up Lily’s shirt.

“Oh, fuck,” Marlene says loudly as she sees. They look up and immediately separate, wildly straightening their clothing and hair.

“Um… Happy New Year?” Lily says sheepishly, her face as red as her hair.

“I can’t believe you two lost,” Mary says incredulously. “I thought it would be James.”

“Speaking of which, your brother kissed James,” Dorcas tells Pandora.

“Interesting,” she replies, not listening at all as she continues to stare at Lily.

“Fine, we’ll let you get back at it,” Dorcas says grudgingly, steering the rest of them back into the living room. “Is the contest off now? Can I kiss my girlfriend?”

Sirius crosses his arms stubbornly. “We go until the last man standing.”

“I’ve decided I really don’t care,” Marlene says, grabbing Dorcas and kissing her. Regulus turns to find James looking at him hopefully. He turns to Sirius, determined.

“Do you really not want to share a bed with your fiancé tonight?” Sirius glares back at him.

“Not more than I want to win.”

“Fine,” Regulus says. “I guess I’ll just kiss Remus again, then.”

“No!” Sirius relents, stepping in his way. “You win! Just stick to James, you homewrecker!”

Cold hands circle Regulus’ waist tightly.

“Finally.” Regulus turns around in his arms.

“Your hands are freezing,” he tells James.

“Warm them up for me,” he requests, hands slipping higher up Regulus’ back. He goes to protest and James cuts him off with a kiss. Regulus pulls him down by the collar and kisses him back.

“Black, blink twice if you need help,” Mary says earnestly. Regulus breaks away to look at her before realizing it wasn’t him she was talking to.

Remus has Sirius’ long hair wound around his fist, his hand reaching possessively up his skirt. Barty is watching in rapture.

“Relax, Lupin, no one is taking it from you,” Marlene remarks, either impressed or scandalized. Regulus buries his face in James’ shoulder.

“I’m going to throw up.” Peter nods in agreement, holding up a hand to block Sirius and Remus out of view.

“I’m unpausing the movie. If you’re going to go fuck in your room, do it quietly.” Regulus closes his eyes tightly, unresisting as James leads him to the couch and onto his lap. When he opens his eyes, Sirius and Remus are conspicuously missing. He hooks his chin on James’ shoulder.

“My brother is a whore.” James laughs, stroking Regulus’ hair.

“I think Remus was to blame, personally.”

“He’s clearly not alright in the head.” James smiles.

“Is anyone in love?” Regulus glances up, spotting Lily and Pandora sitting side by side in the kitchen, heads leaned together and whispering. He brushes his cheek against James’ affectionately.

“Probably not.” He yawns softly. James notices.

“Are you tired? You can take my room.”

“Okay,” Regulus relents without much argument, dismounting James’ lap. “As long as you join me later.” James meets his eyes reluctantly.

“I will if you’re awake.”
“If I’m asleep, I want you to shove me over and climb into bed with me.” James rolls his eyes, but he looks secretly pleased.

“Yeah, alright. Sweet dreams, Regulus.” He smiles back, triumphant.

“See you later.”

He steps past Sirius and Remus’ room fearfully, but gratefully doesn't hear anything. He is happy to close James’ door behind him and steal a t-shirt from his closet to sleep in, sliding under the covers. He plugs his phone in on James’ nightstand, quickly checking through his messages. His blood freezes in his veins as he sees a missed call.

Maman
10:53 pm

Call me back

Chapter Text

Jan 1

Future Husband
8:34 am

James: you left before I woke up

James: not even a note to keep me company

James: that’s cold sweetheart

9:02 am

Regulus: sorry

Regulus: I didn’t realize how that might come off

James: it’s fine baby I was joking

James: How are you?

Regulus: you stole most of the blanket last night so I was cold but otherwise fine

James: you could have stolen it back

Regulus: I was showing restraint

James: Very mature of you. Is this the Regulus I can expect more of in the New Year?

Regulus: expect less

James: come on reg you need to make an unrealistic resolution it’s a rule

Regulus: I’m going to make new friends

James: the resolution has to seem at least a little feasible

Regulus: fuck you

James: yes please

Regulus: no u were mean

James: what are u wearing rn

Regulus: not telling

James: I’ll picture nothing then

Regulus: I’m wearing ur sweater and ur not getting it back after that comment

James: the red one?

Regulus: yes

James: Are you wearing anything besides my sweater?

Regulus: you need a lobotomy

James: u would miss my brilliant mind

Regulus: ha

Regulus: glad you have a grand imagination

Regulus: because I’m not sending you any pictures :)

James: ur prettier in person anyway :)

Regulus: Sirius told me I’m ur phone background

James: Yeah :) It's you wearing my jersey. What's yours?

Regulus: ur dad :)

James: cfhvfjj it is not u brat

Regulus: your brat <}

James: my brat

Jan 2

9:30 am

James: is this an acceptable time to text you or will I be disemboweled

Regulus: depends what ur asking

James: What if I just want to talk to the handsomest man in the world??

Regulus: You own a mirror, yes?

James: OH MY GOD

James: FUCK THAT WAS SMOOTH

Regulus: I have my moments

Regulus: you know u didn’t tell me what ur New Year’s resolution was

James: I’m going to force you to make new friends

Regulus: I’m going to strangle you in your sleep

James: wow kinky

Regulus: JAMES

James: honestly I’m down

Regulus: frhgedhn shut up

James: Did I make you laugh?

Regulus: no my finger slipped

James: admit it u have a crush on me

James: u r definitely giggling and kicking ur feet rn

Regulus: what I have is a New Year’s resolution for u

James: I’m listening

[Regulus pastes link]

James: if you think I’m out of shape you could have just said

Regulus: I’m not saying that! I think you would enjoy it! Honest!

James: If I join, will you come watch my games?

Regulus: if you join the team I will sit in the front row and hold an embarrassing sign

James: “he didn’t fumble me”

James: “potter is skilled with his hands”

James: “touchdown tonight?”

Regulus: you cannot hear over text but I am currently vomiting

James: okay I won’t make you hold a sign

Regulus: my hero

Regulus: do you actually like the idea or r u pretending to

Regulus: I wanted to do something to thank you for how nice the holidays were with your family

Regulus: and maybe I’d like to see my boyfriend cracking heads on a spring rec football team sue me

James: I like the idea

James: a lot

James: it’s been a long time since I’ve played and I do miss it

James: so even if you’re the only one who watches it would mean a lot to me

James: u really are thoughtful Reg

Regulus: don’t tell anyone my secret

James: wouldn’t dream of it love

James: “score a touchdown for me?”

Regulus: sure

Regulus: I’d hold that sign

Jan 3

12: 11 am

Regulus: hey

Regulus: r u awake?

James: not james this is peter he left his phone on the couch one sec

Regulus: it’s fine peter u don’t have to wake him up

James: too late here he is

James: Hey reg you okay?

Regulus: were u asleep

James: yeah it’s fine tho

Regulus: shit sorry

James: its fine baby. Is everything okay?

Regulus: yes sorry i should let you go back to sleep

James: r u worried about school?

James: i remember u said u had some hard classes booked for this semester

Regulus: ill be okay u don’t have to worry about me

James: I love worrying about u tho. Ur my favorite person to worry about

James: and u will do great in ur classes

James: ur the smartest guy i know

Regulus: i notice you said guy because you also know Lily Evans

James: she could give u a run for ur money its true

Regulus: ur mom showed me ur grades while u were off with sirius one day

James: shit

Regulus: calm down, they were good! U had 90s in some classes James thats really impressive.

James: oh. Thanks

Regulus: ur poetry mark was absolutely shit tho

James: i was expecting that

James: i figure 12 in the morning is a good enough time to admit this

James: I only registered for that class to have a chance to talk to you

Regulus: yeah i knew that

James: what

Regulus: u showed up the day after u tried to ask me out it was not subtle

James: So ur not mad?

Regulus: at the time? I was so fucking pissed

Regulus: but i’m not mad at u anymore

James: That's good

James: but for curiosity’s sake

Regulus: oh god

James: I think u liked me that day i knocked u over

James: u played stubborn sure but u wanted me

Regulus: rare moment of honesty because im feeling generous

Regulus: I've had a crush on you since that stupid school dance when we were kids

Regulus: hated myself for it obviously because u were my brothers straight best friend

Regulus: and i already knew i wasnt a girl

Regulus: but i thought u were sweet and handsome

Regulus: because i was a kid and kids r stupid

James: ur compliments seem underhanded

Regulus: ur egos big enough shush

Regulus: as i was saying thats why i didn’t tell u who i was when we started dating

Regulus: cause i didn’t think id get to keep u if i did and i really wanted you

Regulus: im selfish like that

James: ur perfect and im not going anywhere

Regulus: im nowhere close to perfect james

James: ur perfect for me

Regulus: dont u dare make me cry james fleamont potter

James: i love you regulus arcturus black

Regulus: i love u too

Jan 5

12:33 pm

James: Are you out of class?

James: How was ur first day back?

Regulus: it was good im at lunch with my friends

Regulus: u could join us if u want

James: thats ok i wont interrupt ur time with them

James: I still get to see you later?

Regulus: yeah come over anytime after 4

Regulus: u can stay the night if u want

James: sirius just looked at my phone hes yelling about u propositioning me

James: threatening to hit me now

Regulus: hit him back

James: he hit me im fine tho

James: sorry gotta go but i will see u later

James: love u so much xo

Regulus: see u later loser

James reads Regulus’ last message as he steps out of class. Sirius didn’t kill him at lunch so he is free to go to Regulus’ apartment now.

It’s almost 5 now, and James is weighing their options for dinner. He could pick up food now, he could order food when he gets there, or he could cook for Regulus, which is always enjoyable but takes longer due to a certain distraction. They could also go out for dinner, which he knows Regulus enjoys. The only problem is that he tries his hardest not to let James pay the bill. He hasn't succeeded yet, but he always pouts afterward for a solid 30 minutes. Regulus is as predictable as rain and he’s ornery when he doesn't get his way and fuck if James doesn’t love it.

Probably, he should let Reg choose where they eat (as is the right answer in most cases). James takes a turn toward the apartment with resolve, passing by a few fast food places he might have stopped at. His thoughts are shaken when he hears a cat’s meow from the alleyway behind him.

James would consider himself a dog person but he has no qualms about admitting that when he sees a cat he would like to pet the cat.

So James steps into the alleyway, scanning the fire escape for the outline of a feline shape. A hiss from near his feet startles him as a blur of grey fur bolts under a dumpster. James squats down, peering underneath. Orange eyes peer back untrustingly. Shadowed as it is, James can just make out the ragged state of its short hair, sharp ribs, and scratches revealing pink skin. James cautiously reaches toward it and the cat hisses weakly back.

James goes into the neighboring restaurant and returns with a piece of fried chicken. The cat glares as it hesitantly accepts a shred from his hand, moving further into the daylight to get each piece.

Out in the open, it appears even more haggard, stick thin and scarred. This is not a cat with a home. Not a good home at least.

It seems to hate James less now that it has eaten, looking up at him with hesitantly grateful eyes. In a moment of brash decision making, James takes his laptop out of his backpack and sets the bag on the ground. The cat sniffs it distrustfully before cautiously climbing inside. James picks up the bag and the cat does not protest. So far so good.

James is nearly knocked off his feet when Regulus opens the door and throws his arms around his neck. He’s as beautiful as ever in shorts and a university t-shirt, his smile for James brighter than it would be for almost anyone else. Grey eyes narrow in confusion when James doesn’t immediately hug him back. James carefully places his backpack down in answer and gestures for him to look inside. Regulus’ mouth falls open in surprise.

“You stole someone’s cat?” James is momentarily caught off guard.

“I didn’t really steal him… I mean, he definitely looks like a stray.” Regulus reaches toward the cat, withdrawing his hand cautiously as it hisses. “Careful, love, I don’t want him to scratch you.” Regulus keeps his hand extended, remaining perfectly still as the cat moves forward to sniff him. “Is it okay I brought him here? I probably should have asked.”

“Of course, it’s fine,” Regulus says, not glancing away from the luminous orange eyes staring back at him. “I love cats.” Regulus cautiously reaches forward, inch by inch, until his fingers brush the cat’s whiskers. The cat bumps his head suddenly against his hand. Regulus beams triumphantly at James.

“I think cats love you.” Regulus ignores him in favour of petting the cat gently, careful to avoid a cut on its ear. “And I fear I’ve been replaced.”

“Uh huh,” Regulus says absently. “Can you get him some water? And there should be a can of chicken in the pantry. You must be hungry, you poor creature,” Regulus murmurs gently. James obeys. When he returns the cat is nestled in Regulus’ lap, visibly enjoying a scalp massage. Still, he abandons his position to race for the food James sets down. James sits and pulls Regulus bodily onto his lap. “Where’d you find him?” Regulus asks.

“In the alleyway beside Popeyes. Do you think I accidentally kidnapped someone’s pet?” Regulus studies the cat carefully as it eats.

“I don’t think so. He doesn’t look like he has a home.” James tucks a black curl behind his ear, smiling knowingly at Regulus’ profile.

“You want to keep him.” Regulus sighs.

“Yeah.”

“Keep the cat, then,” James agrees easily. “You’ll take excellent care of him.” Regulus looks back at him, his hopeful expression still carefully guarded.

“You’re not supposed to urge me toward reckless decisions,” he informs James.

“I support everything you do,” James responds, hugging him tighter. “And I’m the king of reckless decisions. Now, I went through all the work of kidnapping this innocent creature for you, so you’re going to love him forever, damn it—“ Regulus laughs as he struggles to pull away, finally scrambling to his feet out of James’ reach. He pushes his hair back from his face with a smile.

“I’m keeping him.”

“Fuck, yeah, you are,” James agrees. Regulus stoops to pet his cat as it finishes up the can of food. James can see the wheels in Regulus' organized mind turning quickly.

“We need to get to a pet store before they close. We need food, a litter box, toys, a carrier, a bed... We need to book an appointment with a vet, too. He needs to get dewormed and I’m worried those cuts could get infected if they’re not treated quickly. I also need to talk to my landlord, shit, I hope there’s not a no-pet policy. I don’t want to get evicted—“

“Baby,” James says gently, drawing those grey eyes upward. “You don’t have to stress about it. It’ll work out.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Regulus admits, exhaling slowly. His cat meows and Regulus picks him up gently, hugging him under his chin.

“See? He likes you.” James stands, moving to kiss Regulus lightly on the lips.

“Thank you for the stolen cat,” he says sweetly. James kisses him again.

“You’re welcome,” he says. “Now what do you want to eat?”

They order in and then they go to the pet store. Regulus doesn’t want to leave his cat alone, so he carries him into the store, quiet and half-asleep in his arms. At the checkout, the girl smiles and reaches to pet him.

“What’s your cat’s name?” Regulus turns and looks at James blankly. He can’t help but laugh a little.

“Aren't you going to name him?” Regulus thinks for a moment, shifting his cat’s weight in his arms.

“Creature.” The girl nods supportively.

“I have a Russian Blue at home named Anna Catenina.” James decides he likes her. She distracts Regulus with cat-owning advice long enough for James to tap his card on the debit machine before Regulus can argue.

They get back to Regulus’ apartment with bags of supplies they set up in the corner of the living room. Creature inspects it all, brushes his face against Regulus’ leg appreciatively, and settles on top of a throw pillow on the couch.

“I promise I’ll pay you back,” Regulus says as James grabs his waist.

“Can I decide the method of payment, or…” Regulus scoffs in his face as James hooks his fingers hopefully through his belt loops.

“That is not how I settle my debts, Potter.” James nuzzles his neck, pushing aside his hair to suck a mark.

“I know. I was kidding. But I’m still not letting you pay me back.” Regulus stares back at him appraisingly.

“What if I tell you to leave right now?”

“Wouldn’t matter. You know I'm not like that."

“What if I never let you sleep with me again?”

“Then I will remember the times I did with adulation.” Regulus attempts to knee him in the crotch, but it's halfhearted and he’s hiding a smile. He loops his arms around his neck.

“I don’t want to seem easy.”

“I promise, no one thinks you are.”

“Sirius might.”

“He’s a hypocrite. Reliable intel notes your brother is incredibly easy to get into bed.” Regulus winds up and tries to knee him again. James catches his leg before it can connect with a sensitive area. The cat watches in silent judgment as James backs Regulus against the arm of the couch, one leg lifted effortlessly against James’ hip.

“Do you and Remus compare notes?” Regulus asks, pretty eyes narrowed. James shrugs noncommittally, shooting him a shameless grin.

“You and Sirius don’t?” Regulus glares at him.

“Fuck, no. We have enough fucking incest in our family without your exhibition kink–” Regulus exhales as James nips at his ear, humming contentedly as he mouths down his neck.

“Yes or no?” James pulls away to ask, eyes dark as he examines Regulus' face.

“Yes,” Regulus says, irritated or impatient as he grabs James’ face harshly. “Just take me to bed. Jesus. What were you thinking, trying to fuck me against the couch?”

“Not thinking,” James replies, squeezing Regulus’ ass before picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. Regulus pushes against his shoulders to sit upright, his breathing shallow.

“James–”

“Quiet,” James orders, roughly squeezing his upper thigh. Regulus falls silent instantly, muscles tensing under his hands. James walks them into Regulus’ room and sets him gently on the edge of the bed. He pries off the pale hands wound in his shirt and steps away to examine Regulus. “Take your clothes off.”

Regulus hurries to comply, throwing off his shirt and fumbling to undo his binder. James watches patiently despite the unignorable hardness in his own pants. Soon Regulus is fully stripped down, looking to James as he shifts restlessly, his mouth still pointedly closed. He’s fighting his nature to abide by James’ rules for once, and James is experiencing a bit of a power trip. When he doesn’t move closer, Regulus whines and shifts a hand toward his inner thighs.

“Hands on the bed,” James snaps loudly. Regulus’ pupils are blown wide as he looks up at James. He shakily lowers his hands to his sides, fingers white-knuckling the blanket. James steps forward and grabs his face, sneering at the small whimper that exits his lips. “Don’t you dare move,” James orders, his voice low. When he steps away, he can hear Regulus’ panicked breathing, but he doesn’t protest and he doesn’t move an inch. James takes his time walking away, content to toy with Regulus to his liking.

He finds his backpack tossed onto a kitchen chair and rifles through the second pocket for what he’s looking for. He tucks it in his pants' pocket it with a grin. He takes a step back toward the bedroom before glimpsing Creature, watching him lazily from across the room. James strolls toward the couch, squatting to pet him.

“You seem pretty happy here. You’re welcome for that. Reg thinks you’re cute, so you’re set for life. Trust me, I’d know.” Orange eyes study him impassively as Creature grudgingly allows him to scratch between his ears. James stands, patting his pocket happily. “Well, I’ve got someone to do. If you hear anything strange, I promise he’s perfectly fine. Getting his back blown out, sure, but I take good care of him.” James gives the cat a final pat on the head and strolls back toward Regulus’ bedroom.

He leans against the doorway, looking triumphantly at Regulus, still sitting in the exact same position. He frowns at James, pouting dramatically.

“This isn't fair. I’ve been so good.”

“I didn’t tell you you could move,” James remarks as Regulus’ hands unclench from the blanket. Regulus gives a hitched sigh as he replaces them. “And I wouldn’t go that far,” James adds, stepping closer but not touching him. “You’re still a brat.”

Regulus looks close to tears. “I don’t know what else you want from me–”

“Try thinking with that big brain of yours and not your dick–”

“Please,” he begs, his voice torn. “I need it, James. Anything you want to do to me, I’ll let you–”

“But what do you want?” James prompts him roughly. Regulus hasn’t moved except to shift uselessly, searching for friction that isn’t there.

“I need you inside me.”

“I don’t believe you,” James tells him, his voice flat and bored. Regulus moans as he bucks his hips hopelessly against nothing, utterly broken as tears spill down his cheeks. He’s the most beautiful thing James has ever seen.

“I need you to fuck me, Daddy. I need you to come inside me, please–”

“I wish you could see yourself right now.” Regulus moans obscenely when James slides a hand into the wetness between his legs, slick between his fingers. “You're fucking soaked and I haven’t done anything yet. You're completely falling apart because I won’t fuck you. You’re a mess, sweetheart.” Regulus shivers as James runs a hand slowly through his hair, grabbing the ends and tugging sharply. He sobs and James licks the sound right out of his mouth, greedy for the taste. “I’ll tell you what,” James says softly, pulling his hair back to force him to meet his eyes. “You look so handsome, I’ll forgive you for talking back. I’ll give you what you want, and I’ll make you behave, just because I love you. How’s that sound?” Regulus jerks his head to nod wildly, pink tongue licking tears from the corner of his mouth.

“Please, Daddy, I’ll be so good–”

“Lay down. Hands on the headboard.” He rushes to comply, gorgeously sprawled across the bed. James pulls a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs from his pocket, showing them to Regulus, who begins begging nonsensically at the sight. James slides two fingers into his mouth to silence him, which Regulus eagerly begins to suck. With his remaining hand, James laboriously locks Regulus into the handcuffs, securing them to the top of the bed. Regulus whines in protest when James pulls his fingers out of his mouth. He quiets down as he watches James off his own clothes.

“I’m on birth control,” he says meekly as James takes a condom out of his nightstand.

“Good,” he replies automatically, ripping open the package. “We’re still going to be careful.” Regulus arches his back impatiently as James pushes his knees up and settles on the bed in front of him. “Hands okay? Not too tight?”

“They feel fine.” James leans forward to kiss him messily on the lips, wincing as he jostles his aching dick.

“You still want this?” Regulus nods, kissing him back as his hips rut upward. “Tell me if you want to stop,” James demands, stroking his cheek softly. “Love you so much.” Regulus whines in frustration.

“Put your fingers back in my mouth.”

“I don’t want you to choke,” James insists.

“Your thumb, then,” Regulus snaps. “And before you argue safety, I’ll bite you if I need to get your attention.”

“What happened to you being good?” James mutters, but he slides his thumb into Regulus’ warm mouth as demanded. Sinking down the bed, he throws Regulus’ ankles over his shoulders and lines up with his entrance. He runs a hand adoringly over the smooth skin of Regulus' thigh. “You’re a pillow prince, you know that?”

Chapter Text

Kreacher is curled up on Pandora’s lap and purring with the strength of a small motorboat.

“He likes you,” Regulus notes, blowing on his tea at the kitchen counter.

“He’s so cute,” Pandora gushes, scratching the cat’s chin. “It’s just like you and James to get a cat together.”

“You mean it’s just like James to grab an animal off the street and then encourage me to keep it.”

“The man clearly loves sad looking strays,” Dorcas says quietly. Regulus reaches over and shoves her as Pandora laughs.

“Don’t call Kreacher sad,” he orders. Dorcas raises her tea in a salute to Regulus.

“My apologies. Didn’t mean to insult the cat.”

“James must come over a lot then?” Pandora prompts. “I mean, you are co-parenting now.” Regulus resists the urge to hit his head against the counter.

“It’s not like the cat's an actual kid,” Dorcas says, and Regulus could kiss her, at least until she levels a ruthless smirk at him. “Everyone knows that couples get pets as practice for having kids.” Regulus exhales, setting his cup down defensively.

“I sincerely regret telling you that James and I had briefly discussed having a family one day, but if I remember correctly, my answer had been a very tentative maybe, and I was ovulating at the time, so it’s quite cruel of you to reference what I confided to you in a fit of hormone-induced insanity.” She looks back at him with genuine pity.

“You are so horrendously down bad, Reg.”

“Lily and I want eight kids,” Pandora pipes up from the living room rug. Regulus and Dorcas stare at her in dismay.

“That’s… certainly a lot,” he remarks, trying to remain supportive.

“That’s a ridiculous amount of kids,” Dorcas says point-blank.

“Pandora and her future wife can have eight kids if they want to,” Regulus defends steadfastly. “I think they’d be great parents, though I certainly can’t claim to be an expert in that area.” He looks up to find Dorcas studying him closely. “What?”

“You’re being weird,” she accuses. “Did something happen?”

“I’m not being weird,” he says, admittedly sounding defensive.

“Your face fell when you mentioned parents,” Pandora remarks accurately.

“I thought you were supposed to be on my side?” Regulus complains.

“Reg,” Dorcas says harshly. He meets her eyes carefully. “We’re both on your side. We can’t help if we don’t know what’s going on.” Kreacher stands up from Pandora’s lap and happily approaches Regulus. He automatically stoops to pick him up, hugging him against his chest.

“I called my mother on New Year’s Day.” Dorcas nearly spits her mouthful of tea on the floor.

“Why?”

“She texted and told me to,” he mumbles into his cat’s fur, grateful to have a living thing to hold at the moment. His friends’ eyes hold far too much pity.

“Reggie—“

“It’s not like she would’ve taken no for an answer,” he justifies. “I didn’t need to give her another reason to be angry at me. And it wasn’t really that bad. Just a general lecture, being called my deadname, and a stern order that I need to attend Narcissa’s wedding engagement at the end of the month. Then a reminder I need to look presentable, and I’d better not have cut my hair again because no daughter of hers is going to look like—“

“Reg,” Dorcas interrupts sharply. The moment he stops talking, stops making light of the conversation, is the moment it catches up to him. He hugs Kreacher tighter and tries to hide the tears sparking in his eyes in his fur. “It sounds like it was that bad, Reg,” Dorcas says softly. He tries his hardest not to cry as she pulls his face against her shoulder and Pandora jumps up to hug him tightly around the middle.

“I thought you didn’t give hugs,” Regulus mumbles at Dorcas incoherently.

“You’d be surprised by the things people would do for you, Regulus.” He pulls out of her arms, wiping his nose on his sleeve with a sniff.

“God, I don’t know what that was. Ever since I’ve started spending time with James, I’ve been feeling all kinds of emotional shit.”

“Everyone has emotions, Regulus.”

“I didn’t before. James fucking infected me.” Dorcas sighs, abandoning the argument.

“Speaking of James,” Pandora broaches casually, looking up at Regulus. “Does he know you spoke with your mother?”

“No,” Regulus says firmly. Kreacher purrs as he strokes his head. “It’s not his business to know, and I certainly don’t need him overreacting.”

“Relationships are built on communication, Reggie.”

“I know that,” he sighs, crossing the room to slump onto the couch, “but you don’t know James like I do. He’s very protective of the people he cares about, and I know for a fact he hates my parents. He would lose it if he knew I had to go back, even if it’s only for a day. The last thing I want is to start a fight with my family. James wouldn’t think twice about causing a lawsuit if he thought he was protecting me.” Dorcas sits down next to him, reaching out to gently pet Kreacher.

“Have you considered that if everyone else thinks the way your family treats you is horrible, maybe you’re the one who’s downplaying it? If James convinced them to stay far away from you, I’d be the first in line to thank him.” Regulus glares at the black tv screen on the wall in front of him as Kreacher’s sandpaper tongue licks his palm.

“I don’t need James to save me. I’m not Sirius.” Pandora holds out a tissue that Regulus takes begrudgingly. Dorcas doesn’t let up, though her voice is softer.

“Do you still blame Sirius for getting out?”

“He’s so fucking happy,” Regulus states in utter disbelief. “When I was younger, I thought he was so stupid for leaving. He was the only male heir, he had everything handed to him, and yet he couldn’t stick it out a couple more years. Well, he showed me, didn’t he? He got to choose his major, he’s marrying for love, and he gets to live without the fear of being watched. He doesn’t have to worry that he’ll bump into the wrong person when he’s dressed a certain way and his whole life will come crashing down around him. Right now, Sirius is smiling for no reason except that it’s a Friday and he’s planning his wedding. It might not sound like it, but I promise I am happy for him. It’s not his fault I didn’t have the guts to leave when he did.” Kreacher squirms in his arms and Regulus releases him limply, watching as he jumps from the couch and lands with a small thud.

“You can still leave if you want to, Reg.” She puts a comforting hand on his knee and he tries his hardest not to pull away. “You went along when you thought you needed them to survive, but you don’t anymore.” Dark brown eyes meet his, fiercely determined. “I know you don’t like to accept help, but none of us would stand by and watch you drown.”

“I’ll be fine,” he promises through his teeth. “I lasted 18 years in that house. I’ll survive a little longer.”

Regulus ensures that he looks perfectly composed before he knocks on James’ apartment door a few hours later.

“Hi, Baby Black,” Remus says with a hint of surprise, pushing the door wide. “You know, you really don’t have to knock.”

“And risk walking in on you and my brother fucking against a wall? I think I’ll pass. Want to hold a cat?”

“Sure.” He takes the carrier carefully from Regulus’ grip and peers inside. “What’s his name, again? Critter?”

“Kreacher. With a k, not a c.”

“Because of course the cat’s name has to be pretentious, too,” Sirius calls from inside the apartment. Regulus ignores him, stepping past Remus.

“Where’s the hot one?” Remus looks up from the floor where he has opened the cat carrier and reached inside to pet Kreacher.

“Peter’s not here right now. If you’re willing to settle for James, he’s in his room.”

“Great.” Regulus kicks off his shoes and strides to James’ bedroom, opening the door without bothering to knock. James looks up, startled and only half-dressed in gym shorts, his hair a mess.

“Shit. Had you told me you were coming over?”

“No,” Regulus assures him, a tad sheepish. “I just wanted to see you. But if you’re busy, I can leave.”

“No, you don’t have to go,” James says quickly, failing to straighten his hair. “I just would have cleaned up if I’d known. And showered. You probably don’t want to touch me right now, I’m gross from the gym—“ Before he can protest, Regulus steps forward and throws his arms around James’ waist. “Reg,” he warns, clearly trying to sound exasperated but landing on fond. Regulus looks up at him.

“I missed you.” James gives in and hugs him back, lifting him off his feet a little. Regulus’ heart nearly melts at the smile on James face as he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Why don’t I take you out for dinner? We can bring Pads and Moony, make it a double date.”

“Sure. No promises Kreacher won’t burn the place down while we’re gone, though.” James’ eyes light up with surprise.

“You brought him over?”

“Yeah—“ James grabs his hand and bodily pulls him out of the room. As they step into the kitchen Regulus can see Kreacher happily lying in Remus’ arms and Sirius pouting dramatically.

“You’re 21 years old. Stop being jealous of a cat,” Regulus orders him. Sirius folds his arms stubbornly.

“We are a dog household, Regulus.”

“Who’s the dog, then? You?” James clamps a hand over Regulus' mouth loosely, his real focus on petting and gushing over Kreacher. The cat watches him with a wary but tolerant stare.

“Do you two want to go out to eat with me and Reg? Impromptu date night on me?”

“Sure,” agrees Sirius. “Just give me a minute to change clothes.”

“You can have five, I’m going to shower before we go.” As James steps past him. Regulus gives into his intrusive thoughts and slaps his ass. Remus snorts a laugh as James’ head whips around, his expression aghast. Regulus gives him a smirk that is quickly wiped off his face as James grabs him tightly by the waist and bites at his ear. “If you want to start something—“

“Fuck, no! Not in my house!” Sirius puts up an impressive fight to pry James away from Regulus. “You were going to go shower!”

“Fine. Get lost,” Regulus orders, pushing James gently off him with an immediate sigh of regret. “Remember what I sacrificed for you, Sirius.” James casts Regulus a deeply forlorn look as he steps out of the kitchen. Sirius breathes a heavy sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” Regulus mumbles a response as he snatches an orange off of their counter, taking a seat at the island.

“You really are a pain in the ass considering you like James so much. I support your relationship, even though I think Lupin could do better.”

When Sirius opens his mouth to protest, Remus leans over and kisses his forehead. “Nah. We all know I’m marrying up.” Regulus pops an orange slice in his mouth.

“He’s inbred, Lupin.” Sirius scoffs.

“So are you, dipshit. You’re my brother.”

“And also your third cousin, as chance would have it.”

“Oh God.” Remus laughs at Sirius’ horrified expression, pulling his fiancé against his chest fondly.

“It’s okay, baby. You and your third cousin seem like very intelligent, beautiful people despite it.”

“That is not funny,” Sirius grumbles, burying his face against Remus’ shoulder in despair. “Do not encourage him, Moony.” Remus threads a hand through Sirius’ hair lovingly but he gives Regulus a secretive wink at the same time.

“Yes, honey.”

Regulus is maybe a little jealous watching them until James reemerges from the bathroom, his dark curls dripping water. His shirt is slightly damp and sticking to his skin when he wraps an arm around Regulus’ shoulders.

“Miss me?” he asks with a grin. Regulus grabs his hand and pulls him sharply toward the door.

“We’re going.” He scoops Kreacher up off the floor and puts him back in his carrier, closing the door. “Sorry, love. We’ll let you out when we get back,” he tells the cat softly.

“I thought you were talking to James for a second,” Sirius says, stepping past them as he pulls on his boots. James shrugs, grabbing his jacket.

“He usually just tells me to be good when he leaves.”

“And you usually are,” Regulus praises, pulling on his shoes.

“Wish I could say the same about mine,” Remus mumbles under his breath, unheard by Sirius as he excitedly bounds out the door. When they’re apparently ‘too slow’ leaving the house, he turns around and grabs James’ hand that Regulus isn’t holding. James seems perfectly pleased to hold hands with both Black brothers all the way to the restaurant.

They are sat at an out of the way-table, wine glasses arranged on the tablecloth and napkins spread on their laps despite Remus’ complaints about rich people and their ridiculous table manners.
Their waiter appears, introduces himself, stares unabashedly at Regulus, notices James’ hand on Regulus’ thigh, shifts his gaze to Sirius, and does not look away. Sirius orders a glass of wine and the waiter returns with the bottle.

“On the house,” he promises with a wink. He’s gone before Sirius can do much more than smile in thanks. Remus looks like he’s planning a homicide.

“Make sure your ring hand is on the table the next time he comes by.”

“But we like free stuff, Moony,” Sirius pleads.

“It’s not worth getting a guy’s hopes up only to crush them, Pads,” James advocates as Regulus pours himself a glass of wine. Sirius looks at him, askance.

“What if they ID you?” Regulus takes a measured sip.

“I didn’t order it, did I?” James gives his best pleading look across the table.

“Sirius. You don’t need to fake flirt for free drinks. I will buy you all the drinks you want.”

“I wasn’t flirting. I was just existing!”

“He has a point for once,” Regulus admits, swirling his glass of wine. “We get attention we don’t ask for, so we might as well take advantage of it.” Sirius gestures with both hands at Regulus in rapturous agreement.

“See? He gets it!” Remus just rubs his temples and pours himself a glass of wine.

“Tell your admirer I’m going to need a lot more booze.”

Sirius must feel some inner remorse, because he reaches for Remus’ hand to hold when the waiter returns to take their orders. Regulus watches the hopeful light in the man’s eyes fade in real time.

“Now I feel worse,” James laments once he leaves.

“Whose side are you on here?” Remus demands. Sirius tilts his head against his shoulder, eyes wide and apologetic, and Remus pulls him closer by a hand on his hip. “It’s good wine, though,” he admits quietly.

That waiter never comes back, replaced by another that delivers their food.

“He could be crying in the staff room,” James whispers loudly. Sirius kicks him under the table, his side pressed against his fiancé's.

Sirius really isn’t that bad to spend time with on the rare occasion he’s content that James and Regulus are acting appropriately. The Marauders crack jokes that Regulus only half knows the context for as James runs his hand over Regulus’ thigh. Their food arrives and Regulus picks up his fork with practiced poise, elbows tucked politely against his sides until he realizes Sirius is watching him, his gaze sympathetic.

“You don’t have to follow the proper rules if you don’t want to, Reggie.” Regulus looks down hesitantly, carefully twirling fettuccine onto his fork before hesitantly reaching for his garlic bread. He winds the noodles on top of the edge of the bread and shoves it quickly in his mouth.

“You might be a genius, Reg,” James says, watching him in seeming awe. “I’m trying that the next time I have pasta.”

“Here.” Regulus quickly shovels more onto his bread and holds it up to James’ face. Surprise crosses his expression before he bites into it, teeth just shy of Regulus’ fingers. Regulus knows he’s blushing as he withdraws his hand. James leans toward him with a laugh, his hand skating subtly between his legs. “Not now,” Regulus hisses, painfully aware of the restaurant around them. He glances up, but Sirius remains oblivious, earnestly insisting Remus try some of his food.

“You are not getting me to eat anything French, Sirius.”

“But, Remus! You of all people should know that France makes the best tasting things,” James chimes in shamelessly, squeezing Regulus’ upper thigh. Regulus and Sirius tell him to shut up in unison, embarrassed by the knowing look James and Remus exchange.

“Just try some, Moons,” Sirius insists, exasperated.

“Fine.” Remus spoons up a tiny portion of coq au vin and tastes it, his expression thoughtful.

“How is it?” Sirius asks hopefully. Remus hums thoughtfully before leaning down and kissing his fiancé.

“I don’t know. How’d it taste?” he says as they break, earning a laugh from Sirius.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Was it good?” Remus leisurely wipes his mouth with his napkin. The look in his eyes is wicked when his attention turns back.

“I’ve eaten better things from France.” Regulus pretends to gag even as James laughs supportively. Sirius blushes red, only smiling softly when Remus leans over and whispers something in his ear. They both stand up, Remus’ hand skating over Sirius’ hip. Regulus looks suspiciously up at his brother.

“Where are you going?” Sirius avoids his eyes skillfully but Remus gives him a wink that explains all.

“We’ll be back.”

“No,” Regulus protests. “Don’t you dare hook up in a restaurant.” Remus pretends he doesn’t hear as he steers Sirius away, a triumphant smirk on his lips. Sirius glances back with an excited grin and James shoots him an enthusiastic thumbs up. Regulus buries his face against the edge of the table. “Don’t you dare tell me this happens often.”

“I won’t tell you, then?” James suggests, rubbing Regulus’ back comfortingly.

“And he says we’re revolting?” Regulus declares, aghast.

“It could be worse,” James says cheerfully, mischief in his brown eyes. “At least now I can do this,” he says before promptly sliding a hand between Regulus’ legs, pulling his chair closer, and kissing him.

They are interrupted by their new waiter fearfully asking how their food is and Regulus wants to melt into the floor.

“Everything’s great,” James promises when Regulus is too mortified to answer. “They’ll be back in a while, but we’ll probably take some dessert menus eventually.” The waiter seems justifiably happy to leave their table. James hides a sympathetic wince against Regulus’ shoulder. “I promise I’ll leave a good tip to make up for that.”

“You should be tipping whoever has to clean the bathroom,” Regulus deadpans, returning to his food. James laughs, kissing his cheek.

“They usually show some decorum, I promise.”

They show no decorum, proven by their return 20 minutes later. Remus’ sweater and hair reappear noticeably rumpled. Sirius looks much worse with his shirt buttoned wrong and untucked, his hair standing on end, and his face flushed pink. If that weren’t a big enough clue, he’s smiling stupidly from ear to ear as Remus leads him by the hand.

“Kind of you to finally join us,” James says with a suggestive wag of his eyebrows. Sirius only exhaustedly flips him off as he settles against Remus’ side again. Regulus folds his arms and sends them an unimpressed glare.

“Eat your stupid food. I want dessert.”

The dessert is to die for, a crème brûlée James and Regulus share with one spoon. Remus lets Regulus try a bite of his chocolate lava cake as an offering of goodwill.

Regulus pulls out his wallet and drops 4 $50 bills on the table when the waiter brings the bill. James simultaneously tries to shove them back at him and convince the waiter to give him the debit machine.
“Please, sir, I will leave this establishment the most glowing review on Yelp if you take my money and not his.” The waiter looks between James and Regulus pointedly. “I’ll tip 30%,” James promises with a smile. The waiter hands him the machine without delay.

Regulus pouts as they step outside, impervious to James’ hand dancing over his hip. Sirius bounces over and gives James a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you for dinner, Prongs.” Remus grabs Sirius back by the collar with a sigh.

“Thanks, James. I’m not kissing you, though.”

“Damn,” James laments bitterly. “Why is everyone so ungrateful?” Regulus elbows him in the ribs and James ducks to kiss his temple.

Back at the apartment, James ducks down to open the cat carrier, cooing over a frantic Kreacher.

“I’ll take him outside for a bit,” he offers, grabbing the cat leash Regulus brought.

“You really don’t have to.” Regulus tries to take the leash from his hand but James sidesteps, hooking a finger through Regulus’ belt loop and backing him against the entryway wall. He sighs as James leans down to kiss him. “I can do it, James. I feel bad when I let you do everything.” James tips his chin up, giving a disbelieving shake of his head.

“Regulus. It’s my dream to do everything for you.” He kisses him again softly and Regulus reluctantly lets James go, pulled away by Kreacher. Regulus takes off his shoes slowly, staring for a long moment at the closed apartment door.

“He’s not trying to offend you,” Sirius says softly from the doorway behind him. “He wants you to know that he loves you, so he tries to treat you like royalty.”

“I know he loves me. I don’t want him to think he has to constantly prove it.” Sirius gives him a sympathetic smile.

“I know. But as a tip, princess treatment is very nice once you accept it.”

“You’d know,” Remus’ unimpressed voice comes from the living room. “James buys you everything and I do all the rest.”

“This is about Reggie, not me,” Sirius insists, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. “It really doesn’t help your case that Effie and Monty raised an utter gentleman. The day we met he asked to carry my books for me. We were 11, so I thought it was the weirdest fucking thing.”

“He’s still tries to do that with me,” Regulus says exhaustedly. “Like we’re characters in an Austen novel and he wants to court me.”

“Technically, he is courting you.” Sirius laughs at Regulus’ grimace. “My point is, I promise it’s not a hardship for him to dote on you. There’s nothing he’d rather spend his time doing.” Regulus closes his eyes, stubborn to the last.

“I love him just as much as you do, Sirius. But I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t too good for me.” He opens his eyes to find Sirius examining him, his gaze calculating as he processes his words.

“If this is a self-esteem issue, Reg, that’s bullshit you got from our parents. You’re worthy of all the love in the world and capable of giving it in return. Hell, I’ve seen it. You should have seen yourself at the Potters during the holidays. I felt like I was watching a do-over of when we were younger, without the shitty family, the abuse, and the repression. I never got to see you happy back then. I have now, Regulus. I’ve gotten a second chance to see you loved, but now all of a sudden the fear has come back. We’ve both tried so hard to not be scared anymore. So what changed between then and now?”

For the second time in one day, Regulus tells a secret that marks him as the coward he is.

“Mother spoke to me.” Sirius’ gaze hardens, walls raising defensively.

“Have you seen her?”

“No. But I’m supposed to at the end of the month for Narcissa’s engagement. Funny you and her are getting married almost at the same time,” Regulus says with absolutely no humour in his voice. Sirius’ voice is steely.

“Was her partner chosen by the family?”

Yeah,” Regulus says quietly, glancing down at the floor. “Company CEO. He’s in his 40s. Cold personality, I’ve heard, but fond of Cissy. Better potential for a partnership than our parents, at least so far.” Sirius gives a dejected sniff, slumping down against the wall.

“She’s gay, too, did you know?”

“Based on the family track record, I shouldn’t be surprised.” Sirius tries for a smile, but it comes out weak.

“She and Alice Fortescue dated in secret for most of their senior year. They were best friends and on the volleyball team together. They met at their first tryout.” Regulus’ mind takes a minute to catch up.

“Frank Longbottom’s girlfriend?” Sirius winces slightly.

“It’s long over now, but I don’t know if she ever told him. Alice seems happy enough with Frank. I hope she is, even though she broke our cousin’s heart.” Regulus sinks to the ground beside him, shocked.

“Would Narcissa have left our family if Alice hadn’t left her first?” Sirius glances at him sadly.

“We’ll never know, will we?” Regulus tucks his face in between his knees, breathing heavily.

“I’m going to leave them. A few more years and then–”

“They’ll only make it harder for you to escape, Reg. Once you’re involved in the business, you’ll be complicit and they can pin anything illegal they want on you if you try to leave.”

“They both know they could ruin me just as well now if they wanted, Sirius. They could destroy my reputation, ruin my chance at a career–”

“Mother will try to marry you off soon, you know.” Regulus looks up at him, his heart pounding in his throat. “If Narcissa has any kids and you don’t, the fortune will go to them. Mother won’t sit by and allow that to happen, so she’ll try to find a man who will take the Black family name and carry on the bloodline with you–” Sirius’ voice suddenly softens at the look of fear in his eyes, a hand embracing his shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’d never let that happen, I promise. I’d show up and kidnap you from your wedding before I’d let them trade you like property. Our family doesn’t care about us beyond the value of our blood. Our parents don’t have a clue what love is, but we do, Reg. I learned what it was the day they brought you home from the hospital.”

Regulus looks up as the door cracks open, James’ cheerful expression falling as he notices he and Sirius sitting on the floor. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly, unclipping Kreacher’s leash and kneeling beside them. Sirius falls silent, waiting for Regulus to respond.

“My mother has contacted me again.”

“Just now?” James’ eyes are worried as they pour over his expression. He’s always so sweet and trusting, and here Regulus is, letting him down again.

“About a week ago.” Brown eyes harden slightly with the recognition of betrayal. James Potter is good, but he is human, too. He is still human and Regulus Black is still a snake.

“What did she want?” James asks measuredly. Regulus tries not to jolt away when he puts a hand on his arm, fighting the instinct to run from James for the first time in a long time.

“I need to return home briefly at the end of the month. It’s not that big of a deal.” James does not believe him, the unfamiliar harshness remaining in his eyes.

“Will they accept the way you look now?”

“I kept some of my old dresses for such an occasion.” Regulus manages to keep his voice steady and unfeeling, running a worried hand over the ends of his hair. “Mother will be upset about my hair, but there’s nothing to be done for that.” James’ expression turns stubborn.

“I don’t give a fuck what your parents want. I’m not letting you go through that.”

“Well, it’s a great thing I don’t need your permission.” He stares James' stubborn eyes down with a cutting glare even as Kreacher pads over and curls up in his lap. “I let you control a worrying amount of my life, Potter, but don’t you dare start to think that you own me.”

“This isn’t me telling you what to do,” James argues, clearly trying to keep his voice civil. “This is me caring about your wellbeing, and not wanting to see you hurt–”

“You don’t need to protect me, James. I’m a grown adult and I was just fine before I met you–”

“I don’t even think you’re fine now!” James stands suddenly, giving a half-hysterical laugh as he looks down at Regulus. “And I’m not saying that you’re weak, because you’re not, but the shit you went through would fuck up anyone. You try to hide it from me, but you forget I already know about it, Regulus. I’ve spent 9 years going through this with Pads, and I know I have to be patient with you because he took years to open up, but you won’t talk about any of it. You downplay it. You make jokes about it. You use me as a distraction sometimes, I can tell, but how can I forget when every time you turn I see the scars on your back?” Sirius’ hand on his shoulder tightens, realization dawning in his eyes as he turns to look at him. James’ eyes soften at the look on his face, the fight dissolving from his frame as he sits back down, still watching him with concern. “I’m not telling you to leave them. And I’m never leaving you. None of this is easy, Reg, but that’s not what I asked for. I love you, and I respect you, but I’m never going to sit by and let anyone hurt you. You’re never getting rid of me, even if you try. I’ll always put you first, even if you hate me for it.”

“I’ve never hated you,” is the only thing Regulus can find to say, petting Kreacher’s back softly. “I wouldn’t know how to start.” James reaches out tentatively and Regulus doesn’t flinch as he cups his face, his brown eyes unusually sad.

“Can I hold you? Please?” Regulus nods and hands Kreacher to Sirius, who only protests minimally as James pulls his boyfriend into his arms. “I actually don’t know what I’d do without you,” James whispers in his ear, his face buried in his hair.

“Your world would be simpler,” he answers honestly.

“My world would be darker,” James says softly, releasing his tight hold on him. “Thank you,” he says with an embarrassed sniff. “I needed that.” Regulus takes his hand and kisses it.

“I need you, too. I just pretend like I don’t.” James gives him the ghost of a smile, tears in his eyes.

“I know. I’m learning how to tell.”

“So you two are okay, then?” Sirius interrupts softly, his own expression pained as he pets the cat in his arms.

“Yeah,” Regulus answers. “Are you?” Sirius wipes his nose on his sleeve in answer.

“You know I worry about you, Reggie. Don’t cut me out again, okay? I won’t tell you what to do, but I need to know that you’re safe–” His voice cuts off as Regulus hugs him, the movement awkward due to the cat in between them.

“I’ll tell you everything, I promise. And Sirius? You’re the person who taught me what love was, too.” His brother hugs him back, possibly crying against his shoulder but Regulus doesn’t mind at the moment. They pull away and Regulus summons a brave smile as James gives both he and Sirius a loving kiss on the forehead each.

“Are you staying the night, Reg?” He shakes his head, taking Kreacher from Sirius’ arms.

“Cats don’t usually like to spend the night in other places. I should go home.” James offers him a hand as he rises to feet, brown eyes gentle.

“Do you want company? Or can I just walk you home?”

“You can stay the night,” Regulus offers with an eager nod. “If you want.” James gives him a smile.

“Okay.” James turns to a put-out looking Sirius and opens his arms. “Come here, sweetheart.” Sirius eagerly throws his arms around his shoulders and James rubs up and down his back. A few weeks ago, Regulus would be jealous, but Remus was right. He did get used to the strangeness that is Sirius and James. James ruffles his long hair when Sirius finally pulls away. “Remus,” James calls toward the living room, levelling a wink at Sirius. “Take care of my boy until I get back, please.”

“For the last time, Potter, are you the one who put a ring on it?” Sirius smiles softly as he steps back and leans against the living room doorway, watching as Regulus puts Kreacher into his crate.

“Keep me updated, okay, Reggie? I’m not afraid to march into Black Manor and punch anyone who gives you trouble.” Regulus pulls on his shoes with a scoff.

“I’ll be fine, Sirius.” James opens the door for him and he hesitates, looking back at his brother. “I love you,” he amends.

The surprise on Sirius’ face brings an uncomfortable trace of guilt in his heart.

“I love you, too,” Sirius replies eagerly, purportedly delighted to echo the words. He smirks up at James mercilessly. “Be safe, Reggie, and be gentle with James here–”

Regulus grabs the door and slams it closed behind them as James laughs beside him. “That wasn’t funny,” Regulus snaps.

“It was kind of funny,” James argues lightly, offering his hand to Regulus. He takes it aggressively, leading James out of the building and into the night air. He can feel James glancing at him once in a while as they walk, the words he has to say hanging between them.

“You’re going to be okay,” he assures Regulus softly, slowing their pace to a halt. A hand cups his face, tilting it up until he meets James’ eyes, determination shining through as bright as the morning sun. “We’re going to be okay.”

Regulus nods bravely, rising on his tiptoes to kiss him lightly on the lips. He sinks back down with an exhale. James’ hand ghosts his waist, the other warm on his cheek. Below them, Kreacher meows in his crate.

“I believe you,” Regulus whispers, the promise as near to optimism as he can find.

Chapter Text

James switches both shopping bags to one hand so he can open the door, caught off guard by the near complete darkness inside.

“Reg?” he calls tentatively. “You home, love?” A grey ball of fur appears out of the shadows, bolting in his direction. James closes the door quickly, cutting off the light of the hall as he sets the bags down to pet Kreacher. He purrs and James picks him up, hesitantly walking into the apartment.

Candlelight brings out the dim shapes of the living room, outlining five figures clothed in black, standing in a circle. Two more figures sit back to back in the center. The solitary candle illuminates a book held in pale hands, a hushed voice uttering low from beneath a hooded robe. James smiles and sets Kreacher softly on the floor.

“Hi, baby,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around Regulus from behind. His boyfriend jolts in surprise, swearing loudly as he nearly drops the flame.

“Don’t ‘baby’ me. You’re fucking late.”

“I was picking up snacks.” Regulus huffs angrily and squirms out of his arms, the sharp lines of his face reflected in the sliver of light.

“We’re going to have to start the initiation all over again, thanks to you.”

“I told you we should’ve just waited for him,” Dorcas says, concealed within her own cloak.

“Are we absolutely sure the initiation thing is necessary?” Lily asks plaintively from her chair in the center.

“Yes,” the black-cloaked figures declare in unison. Pandora, easily identifiable due to the long blonde hair escaping her hood, blows a consolation kiss to Lily.

“Just get Potter a chair,” Evan suggests impatiently. “We’ll continue where we left off.”

“I can get myself a chair,” James offers, crossing to the table and grabbing one. Barty grins at him as he places it beside Lily and Marlene’s.

“Isn’t he cooperative? Mind tying yourself up too, Potter?” James settles into his chair with a cocky smile.

“I’d prefer Regulus did that part, actually.” That doesn’t earn anything more than an irritated scowl from his boyfriend as he returns his attention to the book in his hands.

“We gather today for the initiation of these mortal souls into an inescapable pact–”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Lily asks, her voice tinged with concern.

“Of blood and of loyalty,” Regulus continues without pause. “To join the ranks of the distinguished and revered, and to uphold our values and reputation.”

“Hear ye!” the others declare. James can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous chant. Regulus looks down his nose at him, his expression deadly serious.

“Do you vow your fealty to our order and thus become one of the chosen?”

“Say that all again, but less Shakespearean,” Marlene requests.

“That was nothing close to Shakespeare. I was speaking in prose, Shakepeare wrote primarily in iambic pentameter–”

“We get it, Reg, you’re a nerd,” Dorcas interrupts, turning her attention to Marlene. “And that was Black family theatrics for ‘are you in or out?’”

Marlene eyes the group standing appraisingly, finally settling back on Dorcas. “What I’m hearing is: I’m being invited to join the Skittles.”

“We are not called that!” Regulus argues vehemently. Barty’s face lights up in excitement.

“I completely forgot about that name!”

“We wanted you to because it’s fucking horrendous!” Dorcas snaps back at him. Pandora shrugs good-naturedly, completely unperturbed by the chaos around her.

“I kind of like that name, actually.”

“Think about it!” Barty attempts to defend himself. Regulus hands Dorcas the candle and attempts to hit him with the book in his hands. “It’s truer now than ever! We’re literally all in a gay relationship! There’s never been a better time to taste the rainbow!”

“He has a point,” Marlene whispers to James. Beside him, Lily looks mildly traumatized by the proceedings.

“We don’t have to agree on a name, okay, let’s just get through the initiation,” Evan says calmly, actively pulling Regulus away from Barty. “You’ll scare the recruits away with unprofessionalism,” he whispers in Regulus’ ear.

That, at last, works to convince Regulus to return to civility. He calmly takes the candle back from Dorcas and stands officiously in front of them.

“Do you accept your place in our company and the responsibilities such a position entails?” Marlene gives Regulus a smirk.

“Sure. I’ll be a Skittle.” Dorcas shoots her a dirty look as Regulus turns his attention to Lily.

“How about you, Evans?” Lily looks around the circle, the hint of apprehension fading at Pandora’s urging smile. Lily gives a relenting sigh as she looks back at her.

“Yeah, okay.” Regulus turns his attention to James, his expression measuredly cold. It’s cute how seriously he’s taking this, but James has decided he wants a reaction.

He stands with an affectionate smirk, the power dynamics shifting instantly now that he’s the taller one. He looks Regulus up and down slowly, noting the flustered break in his countenance despite his best efforts to conceal it. Regulus unconsciously leans forward when James steps closer to him, reaching out to ghost his forearm. James leans down to his face, following his affected exhale with a flirtatious wink.

"I've always said that if I was going to join a cult, it was always going to be for someone pretty.” Marlene gives a supportive whistle and Regulus’ cheeks tinge with an embarrassed blush.

“We’re not a cult. We’re a secret society–”

“Sounds like a cult,” James teases back, gently cupping his face with one hand. His thumb traces up his temple softly. “I don’t mind, though.” Regulus looks exasperated and embarrassed by the people watching, but he can’t help smiling at James.

“Just say yes already, Potter.”

“I’ve told you before,” James whispers, settling close against him and triumphant. “I’ll do anything you ask me to.” They share a split-second of delighted eye-contact before James blows out the candle, submerging them in darkness. Regulus surges forward and kisses him. Barty loudly complains that he can’t see it.

“All right, break it up!” Dorcas orders before she flips the light switch, the ritual over as the founding members unceremoniously discard their robes. “You can fuck after we’ve all left.”

“Fair enough,” James agrees, extricating himself from Regulus. “So what’s the plan now that we’re officially in your group? Is this when we learn you’ve killed someone during a bacchanal The Secret History style?” Regulus’ eyes light up adoringly.

“You’ve read The Secret History?”

“Yeah, Remus convinced me to. Don't look so surprised, I read sometimes.”

“You absolutely need to read The Goldfinch next, it’s my favourite–” Barty grabs Regulus’ hand and leads him away from James.

“I’m sure Potter would love to hear more about your Donna Tart obsession later, but it is game night and we have plans.” Evan procures a tattered box decorated with marker and glitter glue and places it on the coffee table. James squints at the letters to make out the word ‘Communopoly’. Beside him, Lily looks equally mystified.

“I’ve never heard of this game before."

“We made it for a math class in Grade 9,” Pandora tells her cheerily. “The teacher told us we were one of the most unique groups of students she had ever taught.” Marlene glances around at them, nodding sagely.

“I can see why you five would be memorable.” The board is unfurled, revealing rainbow properties with the names of places deemed valuable to a group of 15 year olds. They choose their tokens from an eclectic bag of Lego figurines, Littlest Pet Shops, and polished minerals. They are not given money, but they are assigned state-controlled jobs. The jail operates the same but has been rechristened the Gulag.

The main point of the game is that although everyone is officially equal, you can become more powerful by seizing control of the industries the others work in, and thus benefitting off of their labour. James gets nowhere close to winning, but Regulus spends the game in competition for the top spot. Marlene is declared the winner, due in part to how ruthlessly she played. Dorcas grumbles bitterly about beginner’s luck.

Still, game night is far from over, and the fierce competition does not wane. They play Pictionary, which reveals just how bad most of them are at drawing, especially since they create their own pile of prompts that are inarguably stranger than the original ones. James can only muster so much skill when faced with drawing a mariachi band comprised of marsupials.

Regulus hangs that one on his fridge with a magnet, mostly to make fun of the misshapen kangaroo.

Barty suggests Twister and surprisingly everyone agrees, the group split into two rounds with the girls going first. Marlene is the only one who gets intentionally touchy until Dorcas threatens to cut off her hand and feed it to her if she distracts her again. As the guys’ round starts, it is clear there are motives present other than winning. Regulus hardly seems to notice the way Barty and Evan are always pressed against him, but James sees and knows it’s no coincidence. He decides to go on the offensive, forcibly placing himself in between Regulus and the others. He only realizes he’s fallen into a trap when he finds himself sandwiched on both sides and met with Barty’s shameless grin. He ignores the suggestive glances sent his way and tries to stay closest to Regulus, touching him intentionally to watch him blush. He’s left feeling guilty when Regulus slips, gracing retreating to take his place with the observers.

And James did not think this through, because now the one person he actually wants to be close to is out of the game, and Barty and Evan are well aware of the fact.

“Funny seeing you here,” Barty quips as he shamelessly slides a hand between James’ legs.

“Evan, left foot red,” Pandora announces. His calf contacts James’ hair. “James, right hand green.”
James inwardly grimaces as he reaches beneath Evan’s leg, his head fully between his legs. He hears the click of a phone camera. “Fucking delete that.”

“I don’t know,” Evan whispers, quietly so only James can hear. “Regulus looks like he might like to be sent that one.” James cranes his head backward to glimpse his boyfriend, his jaw in fact fallen slightly open.

“Barty, left hand blue,” Pandora calls with a grin, the spinner unmoving beneath her. James jolts in realization as Barty’s hand reaches under him, nearly crushing his arm as he falls to the mat.

“I saw that! You haven’t been spinning it, have you?” Pandora smirks deviously back at him, and James can finally see the resemblance to her brother. The girls laugh at his dismay as he storms over and slumps against Regulus. “Fucking cheaters, all of you.” Regulus’ fingers play with his curls, leaning into him with a smile.

“You’re quite flexible, you know.”

“Don’t flatter me,” James insists, dully watching Barty and Evan continue the game in earnest. “I’ve been through a terrible ordeal.” Regulus plays with his hair, his voice sugar-sweet.

“My poor Jamie. How could the world be so cruel?”

The games end, the winners are announced, and the Skittles tease each other ruthlessly as they construct extravagant ice cream sundaes in the kitchen. Their friends leisurely make their exits until it’s only James washing the dishes and Regulus with a smear of chocolate sauce on his cheek. When he draws close James grabs him with soap-sudded hands and aggressively licks the mark off his face. “James!” He laughs amid his indignant yelp, pushing James away with no real conviction. “You’re so weird!”

“Oh, I don’t think I’m the weird one,” James argues, leaving the bowls to dry and twisting to grab Regulus’ hips from behind. He pushes back against him with a contented sigh James would like to bottle and play on repeat. James leans down, his lips against his ear. “You were watching me and the guys play Twister with a little too much interest, love.” Regulus turns around, eyes wide and defensive.

“I was just watching you, I swear–”

“If you want a foursome, I’m open to it.” Regulus’ mouth falls open in surprise. A shocked laugh falls from his lips.

“I don’t want a foursome with Evan and Barty.”

“Oh, thank God,” James exhales, slumping forward with his face buried against Regulus’ shoulder. A slender hand cradles his head as Regulus laughs incredulously.

“If you weren’t interested, why the fuck did you suggest it?”

“I thought you wanted someone else. I try my best but if you need more than I could give you–”

“James.” Regulus holds him at arm’s length, his smile unabashedly affectionate. “I’m more than satisfied with you.” A sigh of relief exits James’ mouth of its own accord.

“I’m glad. I’d have a hard time sharing you with anyone.” Regulus laughs and steps closer, wrapping his arms tight around his waist.

“The way you think is ridiculous, James Potter.” He looks down at him, an idea formulating slowly.

“So, um, speaking of pleasuring you–”

“Oh my God.” Regulus rolls his eyes dramatically. “You are so unsubtle.”

“Well, I have to know you’re okay with it before I start anything–”

“Yes,” Regulus interrupts. “I’m interested. I actually bought you something,” he adds a bit sheepishly. James grins, hooking a finger under Regulus’ waistband.

“Are you wearing it?”

“Not yet,” Regulus mumbles, his gaze avoidant. “You should look at it before you agree to anything… It’s in the top drawer of my dresser.” James releases Regulus and enters the bedroom in a state of mild confusion. He understands at once as he opens the drawer.

“Oh,” is all he says as Regulus hesitantly hovers in the doorway.

“We don’t have to,” he says quickly. “I know we’ve never really talked about it, and I have no clue if you’re even be into–”

“I bottomed once,” James tells him. “I had a one night stand with a guy after a party. We were both pretty drunk, but I remember I liked it.” He looks at Regulus to find him blushing crimson.

“I’ve never actually used a strap-on before. I’ve had people use them on me, but I might be really bad at first–”

“It’s something we can figure out together, then. It’ll be fun.” Regulus looks like he wants to say something, but instead he just barrels into James’ arms, kissing the underside of his jaw.

“I’m scared you put way too much faith in me.”

“Are you kidding? Babe, I’ve had you gagged and handcuffed at the same time. You can’t imagine how terrified I felt.” Regulus scoffs at him.

“That was nothing. I’m used to far worse.”

“Of course, I always forget how you’re so experienced–” James grins when Regulus scowls and elbows him in the ribs. He doesn’t fight back when James takes his wrists in hand, raising them to his lips and kissing them reverently. “I trust you, baby. Unconditionally.”

The corners of Regulus’ mouth tip up in a reluctant smile as he steps in closer to press against James’s front. “Keep saying shit like that, darling, and you won’t be able to walk straight tomorrow.”

Heat coils low in James’ gut at the threat, intense silver eyes providing the warning that he might just carry through. It’s anticipation and some level of elated terror at the thought of being at his mercy. Naturally, it is making James very hard.

One of Regulus’ hands slides down to squeeze his ass and the other takes his chin harshly, tilting it down to meet his scrutinizing grey eyes. Regulus scan slowly downward, pausing with a ruthless smirk at the front of his pants. Regulus tightens his grip when his gaze returns upward, heated and dark.

“You’d better be a fucking angel for me, Potter. I’d hate to have to be mean.” James opens his mouth and the only thing that comes out is a moan as Regulus places his hands on his shoulders and pushes him down to his knees. “Answer me when I speak to you,” he orders severely.

“Yes,” James replies dazedly, nodding as he gaze peers desperately upward. Regulus tangles his hands in his curls, looking down at him appraisingly. A hand traces his face and Regulus leans down to plant a gentle kiss on his hairline.

“You can do better. Beg for what you want, darling. You’re such a good boy when you put your mind to it.” James’ brain is mush, his erection painful, and Regulus’ voice still rings in his ears. He closes his eyes and leans into his touch with a whine.

“Please, Reg. I love you so much, and I’ll be so good for you. I'll do everything you say. I don't need anything if you don't think I deserve it. I just want to taste you. Can’t I please have you, baby?”

Regulus kneels slowly in front of him, shifting forward to catch his lips, the kiss slow and purposeful. He sighs as he pulls away, grey eyes wide with awe.

“Love of my life. I’m going to take such good care of you.”

Chapter Text

Regulus’ phone buzzes with another notification that he doesn’t bother to look at. He examines his reflection in the mirror, searching for the slightest flaw in his appearance. He dabs carefully at the layered grey eyeshadow he’d applied on muscle memory retained from his early teens when he still wore makeup regularly. He used to practice smokey eyes for hours on an enthusiastic Barty, who enjoyed winking at boys and girls alike in the hallways to get a reaction. The dark eyeliner suited him somehow, much like it does Sirius. They were boys and they were pretty, and they were allowed to be both, but when Regulus made an effort to look pretty he stopped looking like a boy.

He’s a man now, and he doesn’t give a shit how other people perceive him, but he’s still been ignoring his boyfriend’s texts all day. At least he can say he answered Sirius’ phone call this morning, giving monosyllabic answers designed to convince his brother to piss off. Regulus is genuinely sick of being worried over by the people he loves. They can’t change what has to happen, so the best Regulus can hope for is to attend his cousin's engagement and leave it as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Really, there shouldn’t have to be any drama over such a simple task, but James Potter’s hero complex has been inarguably triggered.

His phone rings and Regulus declines the call without looking at the caller ID. He turns back to the mirror and applies mascara to his lashes methodically. He is struck by an unwarranted amount of surprise when he hears a key turn in his apartment lock.

“Fuck off,” he orders without thinking, his pulse erratic in his chest. A pause follows. He can hear the door close and Kreacher cheerfully greeting James in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not going to do that, love.” Regulus tosses the mascara tube into a cabinet drawer with a sniff, turning off the bathroom light as he marches decidedly toward the kitchen. He stares down at the tile as James takes in his appearance, clearly startled.

“You were never supposed to see me like this, but you're here now, so how do I look?” He gestures down at his black evening dress, his expression icy. “Is this what you so desperately wanted to see? Did you want to tell me I look beautiful like this, too?”

“Love–” Regulus holds up a hand to silence him and James obeys, watching as he snatches a clutch purse and a pair of black stiletto heels off the table.

“You’re here. Mission accomplished. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to leave.” He sits on a dining room chair, reaching to awkwardly fasten the tiny buckles of his heels until a pair of large brown hands replace his.

James finishes the task and looks up at him from where he is kneeling, hands resting around Regulus’ ankles.

“I’m sorry I upset you. Can we talk about this?” he asks gently. Regulus nods, feeling guilty for his tone.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. I don't know what’s wrong with me.” James traces the side of his face and he melts into the familiar touch.

“You’re allowed to feel the way you do, love. You don’t have to pretend for me.” James rises to standing and Regulus buries himself into his arms, nearly as tall as him in his heels. James welcomes his weight, silent as he strokes his hair.

“I feel like a fraud. Like I’ve been playing a part the last year, but nothing’s really changed. I’m still a Black and I still answer whenever they call. I look the same, James. I don’t even know what I am anymore.” James hugs him tighter, steady to a fault as Regulus tries to match his breathing.

“You’re exactly what you’ve always been, Regulus. You’re a loyal friend. You’re a good brother. You love overwhelmingly, and you don’t even realize it. You’re as smart as a whip. You’re funny without trying. You are thoughtful, kind, and beautiful inside and out. You’re the man I fell in love with, and you are so, so real, Regulus Black. I’ll never let you forget it.” James kisses his forehead and Regulus pulls him down to catch his lips.

“I love you.” James smiles back at him.

“I love you, too.”

“No,” Regulus insists nonsensically, grabbing his jaw to kiss him again. “Thank you.” James sighs into his mouth, hands wrapped tightly around his waist where they are pressed flush together. Regulus filthily licks his teeth and pitches his hips forward, one thigh sliding up against James’ hip. The punched-out exhale that follows has Regulus sinking to knees, tight skirt hiked up around his thighs. James’ hands caress where his hair meets his neck.

“Reg, love, I adore you, but this really isn’t the best time.”

“I disagree,” Regulus replies amiably, fingers expertly working the button and zip of James’ jeans. “I’m having a shitty day that’s only going to get shittier, but it would be immensely improved if you let me suck you off first.” James swears loudly, his hands fisting in Regulus’ hair.

“5 minutes maximum, okay?” he relents, and Regulus eagerly closes the gap to nose at his inseam.

“It won’t take that long,” Regulus assures him, looking upward through his lashes as his hand traces over fabric. James swears anew, and then apologizes in advance for pulling his hair.

Within the span of five minutes he’s taken James apart, and James has gotten him off against the door with a smattering of messy kisses and one hand up his dress. His head is fuzzy enough that he doesn’t protest when James follows him out the door and onto the bus, wrapping an affectionate arm around his shoulders.

“James.” It’s exceedingly hard for Regulus to find the strength to argue with him while his taste is still in his mouth. “You shouldn’t be here.” James’ brow creases with a disappointed frown.

“Why not?”

“You can’t come with me to the house, James. Sirius is going to meet me at my place after, and you can too if you want to see me. But right now, you have to let me go.” James studies him hesitantly, kissing the knuckles of his hand.

“Let me walk you within sight of the house. Completely for my sake, love.” His brown eyes are soft and adoring and Regulus feels his resolve collapsing.

“Fine. I swear you have separation anxiety or something,” he mumbles, curling closer against James’ side. Fingers thread gently in his hair and James gives a sigh of relief.

Regulus forces them to stop at the edge of the grounds, hugging James tightly around waist. He doesn’t realize he’s shaking until James takes his hands to steady them. He exhales slowly, trying to regain control.

“How disheveled do I look right now?”

“Let’s see.” James tips his face and then kisses him lightly. His lips quirk upward. “You look like we just had sex or something.” Regulus snorts a laugh despite himself.

“Or something.” James kisses his forehead and then steps back to look him up and down. He reaches out and adjusts a wrinkle in Regulus’ dress, smoothing the fabric down his thigh. Brown eyes scan carefully over his makeup and then his hair. James gently fixes a curl.

“You look absolutely perfect to me.”

“I can’t wait to change clothes later,” Regulus says with a sigh, his forehead pressed to James. “I need to go now,” he admits reluctantly. “I love you, James. Thank you for today.” James releases him hesitantly, fingers ghosting around his wrist before he finally lets go.

“If you need me, just call, okay? I’ll be at your side in minutes.”

“You don’t have to offer that,” Regulus argues half-heartedly. “You can go home.”

James gives him a cocky smirk that doesn’t reach his watery eyes. “Why would I want to go anywhere without you?” Regulus steps away suddenly, because if he doesn’t he knows he’ll never leave.

“I love you,” he promises, echoing the only thing there is left to say. James blows him a melancholy kiss.

“I love you too, Regulus Arcturus.”

He can feel James watching him walk away until he’s finally out of sight.

Regulus does not recognize the man who answers the door, scrutinizing him even as he diplomatically asks who he may be. Regulus narrowly stops himself from giving his usual answer. His deadname sounds hollow on his lips, but the butler only nods in understanding.

“My apologies, Ms. Black. I did not recognize you from your portrait.”

“No need to apologize,” Regulus replies coldly. “If you could inform me where I may find the other guests, I am quite capable of navigating my own home.” Pale blue eyes stare unblinking into his, the air of politeness unflinchingly superficial.

“I am afraid I must insist on escorting you, miss. I’ve heard ever so much about the young heiress, it seems improper to release you at the door.”

“Of course,” Regulus responded airily. “If you don’t mind, I must visit the lavatory first.” He gives a mechanical smile and turns on his heel, the only sound the click of his high-heels on the marble floor. He steps into the nearest bathroom and locks the door behind him before sinking to the floor, his breath audible. He fishes his phone out of his clutch purse and stares at the black screen. He taps the phone and James appears as his screensaver: shirtless, glorious, and beaming. He’s holding Kreacher the way that men on Tinder hold fish in reference to an argument that Regulus can’t remember the irrational logic of now. He pulls up James’ contact and hits the text bar before thinking better of it and returning his phone to his purse.

He washes his hands until they’re red before stepping out of the bathroom.

The familiar voice cheerfully conversing with the butler has him nearly tripping in his rush to get to the door.

James smiles at him shamelessly.

“There you are, baby. I got your keys for you. Would you believe you left them on the kitchen table?” He would not believe it, because the key ring he is handed holds James’ house key. Regulus takes it and puts it in his purse without argument. James gives the butler a friendly tap on the shoulder. “Wonderful to meet you, Henry. We’ll see you at the party, I hope?”

“I’m afraid I need to remain here, sir.”

“That's too bad. If the food’s any good, I’ll bring you some. Don’t be a stranger.” James takes Regulus’ hand and leads him leisurely away with a smile. He’s radiant and he’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt and no part of his goodness belongs in this house.

“James,” Regulus whispers at a volume he can hardly hear. “What are you doing here?” James squeezes his hand lovingly.

“I’m sorry. I know you told me to leave, but I saw you typing and I got scared.” Regulus exhales as they step through the silent house.

“This was a bad idea, James. I didn’t want to involve you with my family for a reason.”

“I know,” James admits. “You bring out the reckless bravery in me, I think.”

“That’s one thing you can’t fucking blame me for,” Regulus argues as they catch a glimpse of the garden doors, their linked hands observed in turn by those watching through the glass.

Chapter Text

James has frequently been labelled oblivious, but even he can feel the judgment seeping through the air of the garden like poison. Dozens of haughty eyes view him with disdain, though not one person makes a move toward him and Regulus.

If James were less perceptive, he would presume his clothes are the issue. After all, the people around him are dressed for a black-tie event and he’s dressed for a normal Saturday.

But there’s a part of James that thinks he would receive the exact same reaction in a thousand-dollar suit. As much as he loves Regulus and Sirius to pieces, their skin is as pasty-white as it gets, and so is everyone else’s here. It’s far from unfamiliar territory for James after 7 years at Hogwarts, but the hostility directed at him now would be a harsh reality check for anyone.

James is not safe here, but he’s putting on a show of bravery for his boyfriend. Regulus has made himself smaller at his side, squeezing his hand almost painfully. Regulus is afraid, so James stands tall, smiles brightly, and speaks loudly to remain large enough to be his protection. It draws attention and scowls alike, but James doesn’t give a fuck about anyone other than the man he’s here for.

He grabs him by the waist and presses a kiss to his hair, purposefully ignoring the stares pinned in their direction. “I think we could both use a drink. What do you think, love?”

Regulus doesn’t quite smile at James, but it's the closest he’s come since entering the mansion. “Lead the way.”

James guides him by the hand to where an expressionless man holds a tray of crystal champagne glasses. “How are you?” James asks him cheerfully as he takes a glass each for him and Regulus. The man’s eyes widen in surprise, glancing between the two of them.

“I’m alright,” he answers hesitantly. He eyes Regulus fearfully. “Welcome home.” James squeezes his boyfriend’s hand lovingly as Regulus stares down into his drink.

“I don’t intend to stay long.” The waiter’s eyes flick back to James curiously.

“May I ask–”

“My boyfriend, James Potter,” Regulus answers before taking a swig of champagne and reaching to snatch another off the tray.

“Well,” the waiter tells James quietly. “It was oddly lovely to meet you, but I must warn that speaking to the staff will not earn you respect among the guests here.”

“Oh, I don’t imagine they’d be very fond of me regardless.” The servant winces minutely.

“I’m afraid you’re right.”

“You’re here!” a female voice declares with far more enthusiasm than anyone else in the vicinity. James spins to see a young blonde woman affectionately embracing Regulus. When he glances back, the man with the champagne has disappeared. “I wasn’t sure you’d be able to come!”

“Yes, well, I’m here.” Regulus’ smile is pained but the fondness in his eyes is real. “No offense, Cissy, but I’d much rather spend time with you in more genuine circumstances.” She’s the bride-to-be, James recognizes finally as he takes in her shimmering dress and perfect makeup. Regulus’ cousin Narcissa seems to have inherited her family’s renowned beauty and none of their spiteful nature. Her smile falls away momentarily.

“Me, too. I felt so awful I couldn’t invite Sirius and Andy to my wedding. It was hell telling Nymphadora she couldn’t go because of her own grandparents.” Regulus squeezes her hands, sympathy in his grey eyes.

“I’m sorry, Cissy.” She banishes the sadness from her eyes in an instant.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s my party, and here I am complaining. And being so rude, you were a school friend of Sirius’, weren’t you?” Narcissa asks James with a genuine smile.

“He’s not Sirius’ anything, Cissy, he’s my boyfriend,” Regulus corrects with an adorably childish tone of jealousy. James accepts Narcissa’s offered hand with a grin.

“James Potter. And congratulations.” Her face lit up the second the word ‘boyfriend’ left Regulus’ lips, mischievous blue eyes looking him up and down slowly.

“Your best friend’s little sibling, Potter? I can’t imagine that went over well with Sirius.” He grins good-naturedly but his mind races, noticing her word choice to describe Regulus. However much Narcissa Black knows, James is grateful for one more person in their corner.

“Luckily, he’s forgotten to be angry since he has his own wedding to plan.” Delighted shock crosses her face.

“Sirius is getting married?” she demands, squeezing Regulus’ hands tighter. “And no one told me?!”

“Sorry,” Regulus winces. “I’m sick of hearing about it so I try to spare other people the knowledge. But yeah, he’s marrying Remus Lupin. You might remember him from school. Tall, quiet guy with the scars?”

“Oh,” Narcissa’s voice softens. “Good for Sirius. He must be ecstatic to be marrying his best friend.” James doesn’t understand the look that passes between the cousins.

“Cissy. Are you okay?” Her face is at a loss until a woman with unruly dark curls steps into view, her severe gaze on Regulus and James.

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” Narcissa assures him quickly before waving excitedly to her sister. “Bella, come say hi!”

Bellatrix Black doesn’t move any closer, looking at Regulus expressionlessly. “Hello, cousin. Mother wants you now, Narcissa.”

“It’s alright, Cissy, I don’t want to hog you,” Regulus assures her quietly. “Enjoy your night, okay?” She gives him a quick hug before pulling away at her sister’s urging.

“I love you. Don’t be a stranger.”

“I love you,” Regulus whispers back, but she’s already gone. James holds him from behind, breathing in the scent of his hair. “I’m worried about her,” Regulus admits softly.

“Me, too,” James replies. “She's lovely. Reminds me of my two favourite people.” Regulus rolls his eyes to the heavens.

“Why are you so obsessed with my brother? It’s weird, James.”

“To be fair, I knew him first. I think I had the tiniest crush on him for a bit, actually.” Regulus’ entire face screws up in outrage.

“You’re a dead man, Potter.” James only winces a little, giving a fearfully apologetic smile.

“You two kind of look the same, though.” Regulus’ indignant response falls from his mouth instantly as his eyes fix on something behind James, a flash of panic surging like lightning through grey skies. James squeezes Regulus’ hand tighter and swivels around to face Walburga Black. “Good evening, ma’am.”

She doesn’t even glance at James, her severe gaze unswerving on her youngest son. “I estimated you knew better than to cause a scandal. I am sorely displeased to learn the opposite.” To James’ surprise, Regulus sets his jaw and frowns back at his mother.

“I haven’t done anything wrong. Everyone else is here with their partner.”

“Young lady,” Walburga snaps harshly and Regulus visibly flinches. The party carries on without a hitch, despite the eavesdropping ears around them. That’s the thing James hates the most about the society in which the Blacks inhabit: everyone knows, and no one does a thing. “If you expected my blessing to associate yourself with your disgraced brother’s Potter friend, you are very sorely mistaken. You are the heir to the Black Dynasty. I will not allow you to ruin yourself for him.” James holds his breath until Regulus releases his hand, his heart plummeting from his chest in a bloody smear across the manicured lawn.

“If you wish to discuss my relationships, Mother, I insist we do it privately. There is no need to air dirty laundry before the guests.” Her eyes remain alight with cold flame, but she uneasily relents to Regulus’ logical observation.

“Leave him behind, and we shall.”

Regulus’ eyes are softer when he looks back at James, leaning in chastely to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be back soon.” There are so many things James needs to tell him, but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to with his mother looking on. He doesn’t want to let him go. James wants to hold him tight until the sun sets and the world dies out in a flicker, until there’s nothing left to be afraid of and no one to hide from. There are a million promises still unsaid and James can’t locate even one in the rubble.

He says nothing as Regulus walks away.

He’s aware he’s pacing the bounds of the garden without a destination, but he feels too far removed from his body to stop himself. No one else bothers to stop him, though they look on shamelessly as James Potter unravels from within.

What the fuck is he supposed to do now? He came here to protect Regulus, only to let his mother take him away. Is Reg scared right now without him? Is he cursing James’ name for abandoning him? Or has he slipped back into the skin of someone who doesn’t care about James at all, reclaimed by this house and his blood, running thick and ancient in his veins?

James closes his eyes only to see thin stripes of bone white, cutting across fair skin like the fury of a summer storm. Like holding something unfathomably beautiful in your hands and knowing you can’t love stronger than the past still endures. Every time you love him you see scars. Why did you ever believe you were his salvation?

James’ phone rings in his pocket and he fishes it out with shaking hands, answering as his heart slowly restarts.

“James,” Sirius’ voice is afraid the way it only is for his little brother. “He texted me. I need you to get him out of there right now–” James stops listening when 5 feet 7 inches of sarcasm and pointed limbs slams headlong into his arms. The phone falls to the grass and James fumbles to pick it without loosening his immediate death grip on his boyfriend.

“We’ll meet you at Reg’s,” he tells Sirius before promptly hanging up and pulling Regulus to his chest for a brief moment before taking him sharply by the hand. “Please say we can go,” he begs Regulus, cutting through the crowd of people without a fuck left to give.

“Please,” Regulus declares. He’s barefoot in the grass and he’s holding his left hand to his chest at an odd angle. James is terrified about that, but first he just needs to get him to safety.

He’s called an Uber before they’ve made it out the garden gate, because James does not have the patience to wait for a bus at the moment. They reach the end of the Black’s property and James finally lets them slow down long enough to breathe.

“Our pickup spot is around the corner. I’m going to carry you, but I need you to tell me if anything I’m doing is hurting you, okay?” Regulus nods and James carefully picks him up bridal-style, avoiding contact with his cradled hand. He can’t stifle the sigh of relief that comes with leaving Black Manor behind them. “Are you alright?” Regulus musters a weak smile, no doubt for James’ benefit.

“I’m okay, I promise. You can relax, James, I’m safe now, okay?” He nods harshly, trying to banish the primitive fight or flight instinct from his body.

“Sorry. I have so much adrenaline right now. You actually weigh nothing.” Regulus still looks like he might cry, but he’s trying to smile at James.

“That’s nice of you to say.” James sets him down gently on his feet as a black car pulls up to the curb. He opens the back door and climbs inside after Regulus. The driver takes in Regulus’ shaken appearance with genuine worry in her eyes.

“What happened to you, sweetheart?” The question is pointedly directed at Regulus only, but James isn’t offended. The Black brothers might not have suffered through the childhood of domestic abuse they had if more people had noticed and cared.

“I just had an altercation with my mother,” Regulus admits quietly. “I’m okay now. My boyfriend is helping me get home.” The driver makes eye contact with James in the rearview mirror, her message clear.

“Your boyfriend had better take you to get that hand looked at in the next few hours.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” James assures her. Regulus closes his eyes and leans affectionately into James’ shoulder. The driver’s eyes soften, her worries evidently fading.

She drops them off in front of Regulus’ building with a friendly order for James to take good care of him or else. The panic from earlier has died out enough that Regulus insists he can walk up the stairs barefoot and that James can feel his comforting weight in his arms when he finally wins the argument.

They step into the apartment and Sirius yanks Regulus from his arms to hold him in a frantic embrace. “Sirius, I’m fine, calm down,” Regulus whispers, trying to calm him. When Sirius looks up, his eyes are red-rimmed with tears. James reaches out to softly push back his long hair.

“Your brother’s okay, Pads. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.” Sirius only squeezes Regulus tighter.

“I was so scared.”

“I wouldn’t leave you,” Regulus whispers to his brother, holding him against his shoulder with his uninjured hand. It seems like something James shouldn’t be witnessing. No matter what, he thinks Sirius and Regulus will have something he can never fully understand.

Sirius finally calms enough to let go of Regulus, both of them sniffling and pretending like they’re not. “Where’s my cat?” Regulus asks quietly. Remus steps around the corner sheepishly, Kreacher sprawled in his arms. He comes closer so Regulus can scratch his cat’s ears.

“Sorry I’m here. I didn’t want to leave Sirius alone, but I can head out now.”

“It’s fine,” Regulus tells Remus quickly. “You can stay. You see Sirius in dresses all the time.”

“He loves unzipping them,” Sirius warns, prompting Remus to lightly smack his arm.

“Speaking of which,” James says quietly, gently closing a hand around Regulus’ right wrist. “I’d love to help get you out of that.” Sirius starts to yell at him and James backtracks quickly. “I’m just helping him change, Sirius, he’s injured!” He’s happy to hear Regulus laugh as he leads him into the bedroom, closing the door behind. The second he turns around, Regulus grabs his face and kisses him harshly, their teeth knocking together. James gasps for air, fighting the urge to dive back in. “Fuck, this really isn’t what I’d meant.”

Regulus gives him an utterly merciless smirk. “Take me out of this dress like you said you would, then.”

“I am not fucking you right now,” James says aloud in a determined effort to convince his body. Regulus winks back at him, unconvinced as James undoes the zipper of his dress. He can’t stop himself from staring as Regulus pulls on a pair of grey sweatpants. He can only articulate a single thought when Regulus reaches for a dark red hoodie lying on the floor. “That one’s mine, babe.”

Silver eyes meet his coyly. “I don’t want to bind right now and it would be nice and big on me–”

“Just wear it, for God’s sake,” James exhales. “Just walk around the house in my clothes with nothing underneath while your brother is here and I’ll try my fucking best to behave myself–” Regulus smiles devilishly as James helps him get his arms through the hoodie. James gives into his intrusive thoughts and reaches out to quickly squeeze his boyfriend’s ass on their way out of the room.

Sirius looks furious from his place on the couch despite having both a cat and his fiance's head resting in his lap. “That took way too long.” James collapses into the armchair and Regulus settles on his lap immediately. He wraps his arms around his waist, hands tucked slyly under the hem of his hoodie as Sirius’ gaze studies Regulus. “So what happened at the Manor?” Regulus’ pretty jaw sets and James braces himself.

“I followed in your footsteps and got myself disowned.” James sees his own shock reflected on the others’ faces.

“What was the breaking point?” Sirius questions gently. “Did you come out as trans?”

“No,” Regulus says hesitantly before dropping the hammer. “It had nothing to do with that, actually. Mother said something disgustingly racist and I punched her.”

The room sits in complete silence for several long moments.

“Good job,” Remus finally declares in awe. Sirius blinks slowly.

“What he said.” James’ mind reels wildly.

“Your mother said something about me?” Regulus’ face falls, his eyes apologetic.

“I’m sorry. She’s an absolutely horrible person and I should never have let her get anywhere near you–”

“Reg,” James interrupts meaningfully, grabbing his face. “Did you get disowned from your family for dating me?” Silver eyes rise to meet his as Regulus nods softly.
“Yes–” James kisses him mid-word, his mouth open and unforgiving. Regulus drops his jaw wider and lets James lose his goddamn mind. James pulls him by the sweater until Regulus is straddling his hips tightly. Pale fingers fist in James’ hair and he comes away panting.

“I’d do it again,” Regulus promises, looking down at him serenely. “I don’t care what people say about me, but they’d better be careful what they say about you.” He strokes the line of James’ jaw, silver eyes possessive. “Anyone asshole who believes they have a right to disrespect you is fucking dead.”

James’ mouth goes suddenly dry and he is intimately familiar with the reason why. “Okay. Disowned for me. Right,” he summarizes shakily.

Regulus shows a small amount of mercy by vacating his lap after giving him a sweet, solemn kiss. James fights to draw his eyes away from his outline, sitting cross-legged on the couch as he talks to his brother. James unlocks his phone and steps into the bedroom.

When he ends the call, Regulus is leaning in the doorway. “Hi,” he whispers shyly, kicking the door gently shut behind him. James opens his arms and Regulus falls into them with a sigh.

“I just got off the phone with my parents. My mom’s going to come over tonight and take a look at your hand. If it looks bad, she’ll get you into her office for an x-ray.”

“I don’t think it’s broken,” Regulus murmurs against his collarbone. “It doesn’t hurt as much any more.”

“I think it’s okay, too, but Mom wants to look at it just in case. Dad sends his regards, by the way. He says you’re his hero, but he's decided he will be teaching you how to punch correctly, just like he taught his other sons.” It’s lovely, the way Regulus’ face lights up even as he tries to pout.

“I know how to punch. You should have seen it.”

“Is it wrong for me to say I wish I could have?” James asks with a small trace of guilt. Regulus grins back at him.

“No.”

“I love you,” is how James changes the subject, pressing their foreheads together. “Thank you so much.” Regulus shakes his head stubbornly.

“Any decent person would have done the same, Jamie.”

“Thank you for choosing me,” James insists quietly, watching Regulus’ cheeks redden.

“I had only stayed for the sake of being rich," Regulus admits quietly. "I think I’d much rather be happy instead.” James kisses the tip of his nose and then the bridge, his eyelid and eyebrow and the corner of his mouth in quick succession. He meets those pretty silver eyes and they look back, fond and secretive and so full of promise.

James must be losing his fucking mind because tomorrow he’s going to wake up with his arms around Regulus Black. And if all goes according to plan, it’s going to happen again, and again, and again until it’s just something that happens. The sun rises every morning and James is still obsessed with Regulus. The tide changes with the moon and every time James turns around, Regulus is looking right back. Time doesn’t even exist, but it must be on their side if it can take two boys standing face to face and give them back their entire lives intertwined.

“Regulus,” he whispers devoutly, locked in the confines of silver eyes. “You have no idea how much I’m going to love making you happy.”