Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Dead Star Shine

No longer the lost
No longer the same
And I can see you starting to break
I'll keep you alive
If you show me the way
Forever - and ever
the scars will remain
I'm falling apart
Leave me here forever in the dark

Alec sat quietly as he observed the celebrations around him. Only he felt there was nothing to celebrate. For him and for the ones he cared for, very little had changed, and he was terrified of what was to happen upon their homecoming.

Across from him, Fiore was seated and she enjoyed one of his books. This was likely the last time he'd see her, the last time she could read something she enjoyed before being dragged back to that awful boarding school, this was their farewell.

‘I'm sorry. If I had won, I would have freed you.’ He apologized mentally before taking another sip of cold beer. Nowadays the brew did little for him.

Jake had won the final battle of the season, crowning himself the victor while Ally got silver, however the bickering pair had chosen to split the money. He didn't care much for the duo but hopefully they would be responsible with their winnings.

‘What like you?! Don't kid yourself, moron! You think you would've gotten into rehab? Saved Fiore? Fixed your worthless existence?! If you had won you would've spent it all on scotch and wine until your liver gave out! No amount of money will fix you! You're beyond broken!’

"What's cooking, good looking? You look a bit down."

The self admonishing voice in his mind was silenced upon hearing Connor's friendly voice. Alec faked a smile and greeted him. 

“Hello Connor. I'm fine, just thinking."

"Yeah, there's a lot to think about. I can't believe they did it! I was so worried they'd get hurt too, but karma delivered!"

He knew what the man meant. He'd seen Connor leave the competition voluntarily just to ensure Riya's defeat. He succeeded and not only did Riya lose the competition but she'd lost her ability to walk for the next few months.

Alec glanced at her room, she'd locked herself in there the moment they'd arrived. The golden light was still on and could be seen through the curtain covered windows.

He didn't want to think about her, about her trembling hands clinging to that cliff, or the terror in her voice as she screamed for help before falling.

No one helped. No one cared. No one commented upon seeing her bandaged and bruised on a wheelchair. Only Marcus had the decency to wheel her around and make sure she was settled in her room before leaving her be.

'First Fiore and now Riya. You haven't changed a bit, still the same selfish man as always…' Alec silenced his inner voice as he took another sip of beer. This can was now empty so he reached for another.

"We don't have to focus on negatives. It's over now. We should party!" He said, masking his guilt with drinks and fake smiles.

Connor didn't notice, no one else did. Well, perhaps Fiore. The little one seemed to be keeping an eye on him.

Neither said anything, but while joy abounded all around they were worried, oh so very worried, that once the sun came out tomorrow they'd part ways forever and be stuck in their own hells.

This ending, he'd do anything to change it, anything for the loneliness and bitter taste to fade away. But there was nothing to be done now. 

He lost.

The pain shot up again, it was like a burn creeping up from the tip of her toes to the edges of her forehead. Ironic, given her love of heat and fire.

Riya wasn't sure what was worse. The pain meant she still had feeling on her broken legs, that in time she could ‘heal’, but what good was this pain when she didn't plan on waiting? It would've been better if she didn't feel a thing, this decision would've come easier.

The room was silent, despite the irritating noise outside. Riya tried to think as she made preparations.

She knew her agents would take care of everything legal. Reynold and Porscha were both impeccable at their job. Gods how she'd miss them! Would they miss her? Reynold, despite his coldness and distant attitude, was always there when she needed him and Porscha was the older sister she'd always wanted…’It's better this way. I'm too much of a burden now.’

As she clutched her aching thigh, Riya looked at the blurry night sky through the window. This was her last chance to gaze upon the stars she loved so much, but she couldn't bear to move the curtains and have anyone catch a glimpse of her like this. It had been humiliating enough to have them see her wheeled around by Marcus and just…No, she wasn't going to let her suffering be their amusement! 

Again she wheeled herself to the small table in her room, she'd been trying to write since she got here, but words failed to convey her true feelings. Her true motive for taking this path. No one would understand…

‘Maybe Sergei would. He was always understanding.’ It'd be ironic that the man who spent most of his life in isolation and rigid order would be the only one to understand her actions. ‘Take care of Porscha and your baby. You'll be better off protecting them than me.’

Staring down at the blank paper she felt tears creeping up in her eyes. This wasn't the first time she stood at the precipice. She'd done it many times, she'd held back from it before, and it eventually paid off. She had it all! She had everything she wanted! But in her paranoia and greed she threw it away for…for nothing. She had nothing, she was no one, she was empty and her shining star had died and gone out.

What good was a blackened sky anyway? Things were better off this way. She'd choose a clean method, carry it out, Fabio would probably style her one last time, then they'd burn her body to ash and hopefully scatter it somewhere pretty. That was the end of Riya Sharama. This was the end she had nightmares about, and she had no one to blame but herself.

Dear Agony:

You've won. Its over. My final requests were written when I had good fortune, they're still the same. 

Divide what wealth is left of me amongst yourselves, and Eesha Sharma. If you feel so inclined to, there is a man who could do with some aid. Please also give a portion of it to Alec Çelik. While not mentioned in my will, I do believe he's earned compensation from me by his loyalty in the game. 

To all of you who took care of me and helped me rise to the top, thank you. You became family to me, and I won't ever forget that. I'm sorry I've ruined everything for us, but I know you'll be better off free of me in time. You're too talented not to find a better path than being chained to me. To Eesha, don't let them mold you into what they want, be whoever you want to be. I shall miss you. I hope you shine brighter than I ever did.

I love you. I love you all so much. But Agony won, and so I take my leave as Riya Sharma.

With the words finally written down, she had no more excuse and no reason to remain alive any longer. ‘Would've been a mercy if that fall had pierced the femoral artery and let me bleed out…’

She hated messy work like this! She hated blood! She hated the hesitancy despite already making up her mind! Tired of tearing skin and getting nothing but red splatters, she took out a chardonnay bottle from the mini fridge and weighed her options. 

‘I hope I haunt you.’ Riya thought before carrying out her final choice.

Against his better judgement Alec looked at Riya's room again. The light was still on.

'That's odd.' He thought. With her exhausted state and injuries, he expected Riya to sleep long before the party came to an end.

Alec didn't want to deal with her. He remembered their drunken kiss, how she nearly burnt bridges between him and Connor, how she used him as if he was nothing but a puppet to her even when he told her things he hadn't said to anyone else! And yet...

'Help me!'

He shivered at the memory of her blood curdling scream and her fearful big brown eyes.

Alec filled a foam container with food and grabbed a cold bottle of water. He decided to be kind one last time. Riya couldn't do him any more harm.

"You're wasting your time. She's going to send you away." Connor warned, quickly realizing what Alec was planning.

"Perhaps, but if I am to change for the better then I should start by being selfless. Want to help me?"

"Nah, I'm done giving her any grace. I am going to sleep."

Alec nodded. "Then I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well."

"You too." Connor said with a smile as he left for his room.

Alec waited until everyone went to sleep to stand before the door to Riya's room. He took a breath before knocking.

"Riya, it's Alec. If you're awake I brought you dinner." He called out. 

No answer, no refusal.

He knocked again. "Riya, you need to eat! Just take the food and I'll leave you be!”

Again she didn't answer, but his hard knock caused the door to creak open. The room was unlocked.

"Riya?"

Alec walked into the room and immediately felt an eerie cold. Was the AC broken? No...this felt different. He set the food aside on the small table, noticing a letter before he laid down the container. 

It was none of his concern. He didn't intend to read it, but he caught a glimpse of his name upon it. ‘A will? What the- No!’

Alec turned around and finally glanced at Riya. She didn't look at him, nor address him. The actress was seated on the wheelchair that Marcus had provided for her. She looked to be asleep, with her hair untied and covering her pretty face.

Alec noticed her chest wasn't rising and falling and there was no reaction from her as he spoke. 'No...No please just be asleep!’ He thought.

He pressed his fingers against her neck and her pulse was already weak, he confirmed it by checking it on her wrist too, only to realize that there were bleeding cuts on each wrist, said cuts had spilled some crimson but not enough to kill.

"Fuck! No, no, no! What did you do?!"

Alec's eyes darted across the room and he spotted what he was looking for. There was a bloodstained razor on the nightstand beside an empty bottle of oxycodone and two empty bottles of chardonnay. 

"Goddamn it!" He cursed.

It took a lot of care to move her without causing further injury but Alec placed Riya on the bed and began CPR. If he could get her to stabilize then he could just call for medical assistance and she'd be fine. She had to be!

He thanked his lucky stars he had kept up with CPR courses even in his sorry state. Chest compressions were fine but Alec did hesitate for a moment before pressing his lips against hers and giving her the breath of life. ‘It's just to save her, nothing to savor or dread.’

It took 2 minutes without pause but eventually he heard her gasp. Riya's eyes were disoriented but she was finally awake. Only then did he sigh in relief and quickly helped her sit up.

"How many did you take?!"

"What?" She slurred, still out of it.

"How fucking many, Riya?!" He repeated in an exasperated tone while holding the empty pill bottle.

She was startled and surprised, yet he could tell the pills still made her doozy.

"Eighteen? I took two bottles of chardonnay and eighteen pills."

"Okay...okay...you have to throw up."

"What?!"

"Throw up, now!" He demanded holding up the nearby tiny trashcan of the room. 

Riya had her lips pressed together, as if she didn't want to dare obey. He wasn't going to allow that.

"Riya, I swear to God either you do it or I shove my fingers down your throat and make you!" Alec roared.

"You have some fucked up kinks, you asshole!" Riya spat angrily but did as asked and threw up until all that she could do was cough.

Alec offered her the still cold water bottle. "Drink. I'm going to call the hospital."

"No! Don't you dare!" She roared after a sip.

"You don't get a say in this! Riya, you nearly died!" Alec told her as he was already dialing the number on his cellphone and standing up.

"I said no!"

Riya's rage overcame logic and pain, she wanted to stand up just to stop him. The actress pulled herself up with her arms only to yelp in pain and lose balance immediately. Alec dropped the phone and rushed to hold her, keeping her from falling face down onto the floor. Still her long hair covered her face, and he heard her weep.

"Why didn't you just let me die?!"

The scene was all too familiar to his own attempt.

He was in his mess of an apartment, if one could even call it that, instead of a hotel room. Both rooms were meant to be comforting, but they weren't home for either of them. Alec had chosen a more gruesome yet faster method, and nearly shot himself in the head. Until the shrill of his cellphone and Kristal's enthusiastic offer of another season put those plans on hold. Still, that didn't stop him from breaking down afterward…Just like Riya was doing now.

Alec was silent for a moment. He gently sat her down on the bed and held onto her as if he would never be able to do so again. It was a strong grip, not one that would bruise or mark, but strong enough to convey that he was there, that he didn't want to let her go, or rather that he didn't want her to go. That strong embrace was all he'd craved back when the 45 was tossed aside and he broke down in tears.

Now she was the one who broke, crying loudly as she held onto him as well, not caring that they weren't on good terms, not caring to keep composure, but rather just starting to break her perfect porcelain mask in tears and bloodstains.

Riya began to quiet down as she stared at him. Alec was silent but she could see his eyes were glassy too. ‘Those tears…they're not for me. Are they?’

"I didn't want to be saved...Don't you see?! I am a failure! I can't act anymore, my career is over after this! I am nothing but dead weight! The public hates me now! The entire world is against me! I can't even move without pain! They don't deserve to be stuck taking care of me! Alec…What good am I without my talent?!”

It wasn't the same desperation. His was one of survival while hers was of identity. Still that tremble in her voice was all too familiar to his own when he could no longer spend hours upon hours between the pages that once brought him solace.

Alec let go of her, gently holding her hands instead. “...You can't let them win. 

You say the world's against you? Then fight them! Prove them wrong for doubting you, or hating you or discarding you!

Riya, you say your career is over but the people who love you will remain loyal despite everything that's happened! Your true fans won't abandon their dear villainess. You're nothing if you can't act? That is ridiculous! You're a beautiful, intelligent, ruthless woman who went down fighting both times she played the game and who's managed fame and fortune with a background that's sorely disadvantaged in Hollywood. Surely there is plenty you may do with this life of yours, and it is just as worth it!

I won't lie and say it's going to be easy. Merely healing your injuries will require time and effort, and I don't have any experience working in your field. But I know that if there's anyone who could survive this end and rise again, it is you. It's always been you.

So please, please don't say that there is no point anymore."

Riya looked at him, still weeping and shaken, but he could see realization in her gaze as she gently took off his glasses and laid them on the nightstand. "Is that...what you wished to hear when you were in my place?" She asked.

Alec sighed. Of course she knew, of course she could tell. Nothing ever escaped the cunning eyes and dangerous mind of Riya Sharma. 

"Yes, but it isn't me who we are discussing." He admitted.

"Avoidant as always, Mr.Çelik." She said with a wicked chuckle. "Thank you for this. I'll take what you said to heart and if you need to talk...Ugh! What am I saying?! After all that's happened I'm  probably the last person you'd want to talk to."

Riya hated being reminded of the bridges she burnt. More so of this one, because Alec Çelik was the one person she felt truly understood her. He didn't betray her, didn't plan to, he reached out, but like a feral cat she clawed at his outstretched hand and hissed at his words of affection. ‘If you hadn't been idoled out, would you have kept me?’ She mused but didn't ask.

"Actually, I find- found it easy to talk to you. It was fun." Alec admitted.

Like jagged glass being dragged against his skin he felt the words hurting him as if they were bleeding wounds. It didn't need to be this way. They were good friends once, or so he liked to think. He cared about her, he love-

"I won't call the hospital but you need to call someone. You need to." He affirmed.

Riya nodded and averted her eyes. "Okay. Okay I will.” 

She reached for her phone in her pocket. Upon activating it, Alec was puzzled by the picture in it. It wasn't of her and Connor, rather Riya and a group of people squished together for a selfie. The group consisted of a woman with tan skin and purple hair, a man with pale skin and white hair, a man with graying black hair and thick glasses and a tanned man with blonde hair and a goofy smile. He deduced these were her friends.

Riya called a number on speed dial and put it on speaker, it didn't even need to ring once for the call to be picked up. “Mamacita! I'm so sorry we are late! I swear we left LA the second finale was over but you know how annoying airport procedures are.” a sweet feminine spoke out.

“Porscha, it's okay. I don't mind.” Riya told her.

“You see! I told you Riri was patiently waiting for us! Pilot faster, Sergei!” A campy male voice with an Italian accent called out.

“When you're pilot, you determine speed, cyka!” A deep booming voice could be heard in the distance speaking with a thick Russian accent.

“Sergei, Fabio, quit it! I am trying to talk to babygirl!”

There was a half smile on Riya's tear-stained face. “Let them have fun, flower. I just called because I need to tell you something important, please don't be alarmed.” 

“When you put it like that hon, I am a bit alarmed. What's going on?” 

Riya bit her lip and then spoke. “I did something very foolish.”

The tone of voice gave it away to anyone who had ever dealt with such a strife. Alec heard a small gasp from the other side of the line. “Babygirl…Did you attempt?”

“Yes.”

“By the goddess…Are you safe?! Do I need to tend to injuries?! Should I call the ambulance?!”

“No! No ambulance! I don't want anyone to know! I just wanted to tell you. I'm not injured, well, not severely but I'd appreciate it if you could bandage me up when you come here.”

“Okay, I'll do as you want, babygirl. We will be there in about two hours. Are you alone?”

“No, Alec is with me.”

“Good, put the hot nerd on the phone!” Porscha demanded.

Riya chuckled while Alec froze up at the sudden compliment.

“You're on speaker. And he appreciates your nickname for him.” Riya joked as she passed him the phone.

“Oops, sorry! Anyway, Mr. Çelik I am so sorry for asking this of you, but do you think you can take care of my dearest friend until we arrive? I promise I'll compensate you for your time.”

“There's no need for compensation. I already planned to keep watch over Riya. You do not need to worry.”

“Thank you so much. We shall be there soon. It's room 216, right Riya?”

“Yeah, I'll leave the door unlocked.”

“Thanks. I love you loads, babygirl. We all do. Stay safe, please hon. Please.”

“I will. I promise. Love you too.”

With that the call ended and Alec noticed Riya began to cry again.

“What was I thinking?! She's pregnant! If she found me here dead- the shock! I…What if something had happened to the baby?! For fuck's sake, what am I doing?!”

Had he witnessed this scene a few days ago all of his instincts would be telling him that these were crocodile tears. Why think she was sincere when she so easily had tried to sway him too? Why care for her pain when she didn't care for his? This had to be a lie, or so he'd think.

But it wasn't, because he'd found her, he'd seen the same emptiness in those gorgeous dark brown eyes, he knew this ache was equal to his own. So, he did as he'd desperately wanted someone to do for him, and gently held her close in a loving embrace.

“It'll be okay. Your friends will be here soon, just rest. I promise I'll look over you.”

“You don't have to, you already did enough. Rest with me.”

Rest. Right, as if he could ever do that again. Still, Alec nodded and humored her. Helping Riya lay down on the pillows without further injury, before laying down at her side. He noticed she didn't want to let go of his hand. But unlike in the game, where that hold was nothing but another tactic to keep him loyal, this time he could feel she genuinely wanted to hold him.

Exhaustion washed over them both, and while he was unable to fall asleep quickly, Alec relished in the rest of the now dark room. He'd grown too accustomed to pitch black and cold, though Riya's hand provided some gentle warmth.

This was playing with fire. To lay beside the woman who'd wrapped him in her web, to be vulnerable around her again, to gently hold onto her as he so desperately wanted before. Oh, he was so close to being burned.

'Let go! Let go of her, you idiot! She'll drag you down like a mermaid of the deep! She broke your heart, she'll break your bones! She's a temptress! She's greedy! She's wicked! She-’

Riya gently pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it. “I'm sorry, for everything. You were always good to me.” She whispered before letting sleep take her. She probably thought he'd fallen asleep too.

The action was enough to silence his accusatory train of thought. As hurt as he was and as wicked as Riya had been, he knew a part of himself would've died with her if she had been successful in her attempt. 

He'd hold her one last time before they were to part forever, and keep only the memory of what could've been.

Riya sat up awake at the sound of the door being kicked open and the lights turned back on. The calvary had arrived.

Porscha was larger than the last time she saw her, her dear agent wore a maternity black dress, her hair had lost its purple dye and was now back to light brown, she looked as if she was going to scream by merely looking at her and held on tightly to a small first aid kit.

Riya didn't hesitate to open her arms for a hug and let the woman sit on the bed by her side and hold her as tightly as she always did.

Sergei too was dressed in all black which contrasted with his white hair and pale skin.The usually stoic man let out a sigh of relief upon seeing his wife hugging her and seeing that Riya was ‘okay’, physically speaking at least.

“Thanks be to the Dharma! Babygirl, you had us worried sick!” Fabio said before turning his attention to Alec. “Oh, Hello Mr. Çelik! Sorry for the rude awakening, and thank you for staying here with Riya.”

Riya glanced at Alec, who'd also bolted awake at the intrusion and only now was putting his glasses back on. “It was no trouble.”

Sergei cleared his throat. “I hate to interrupt, but let's give the women privacy. We can speak outside.”

All the men nodded and soon left them alone. The moment the door was closed, Porscha reluctantly let go of her and her black eyes glittered with unshed tears. “Where?” She managed to mutter, as her voice couldn't leave her without crying.

Riya showed her wrists. “I couldn't cut deep enough so I switched to pills and alcohol. Alec already made me throw up. I feel better now…”

“Oh honey, I'm so sorry. If I'd known things would spiral like this we would've left before the finale and been here on time.”

“Don't apologize! You're not at fault for what happened. This was all me. I…I was careless.”

“No, babygirl. You were just trying to win.”

Porscha checked her scars, they were not bleeding anymore but were swollen and the dried blood had stained the dark skin, Riya winced when the former nurse touched them.

“This is going to hurt quite a bit. Sorry, but I can't bandage you up until they're disinfected. At least they're not bleeding anymore.”

“Okay.”

Hurt, she had her fill of that today and still sought it out. Pathetic, couldn't even kill herself properly and now there was something else to cause her pain. ‘Maybe I am insane.’ Riya thought.

“Stop it. Whatever self hating words you're thinking of, stop them right now.” Porscha told her as she opened the first aid kit. She cleaned the wound and Riya winced in an effort to keep from screaming. This was done quickly and soon the sterile dressing was applied and sealed with soft bandages.

“I can't…What if you'd found me dead and bled out?! What if you had a miscarriage or Sergei was triggered by the scene or even Fabi! Porscha I felt like my very existence would've been a burden on you all but it turns out my death would be too! I can't even die right!”

“Riya! Honey, you could never be a burden on us! Ever! You're the reason we are able to thrive in our chosen fields, why we have such success and joy, and even outside of work your very presence is the epitome of joy for us all! Please don't ever think any differently. None of us care how much work it takes, we will be here for you and we will help you heal. Because yes, you, you beautiful brilliant woman are going to heal from this and rise twice as strong. Bear the scars, as long as you stay.”

She broke again after hearing those words, and Porscha held her close as Riya sobbed in the crook of her neck. She cried less this time, probably probably since her exhausted body wouldn't allow it, and also because she was startled.

“Porscha, the baby is kicking!” Riya said as she let go of her friend and gently pressed her hand on the baby bump.

“He's been like this all day. One of these days he's going to break my ribs! Hey, you're not a bodyguard like your daddy! Calm down, Sergio!”

Riya giggled and got close to the bump. “Don't kick your mama.”

“Wow…He just stopped. Not even born yet and he already listents to you. You shall have a third agent in no time!”

“Trying to get him experience since the womb?”

“In this economy? Of course!”

The pair laughed at the joke, and for the first time since her fingers gave out and she was in free fall, Riya felt like smiling.

“Lay down. I'll be back and we can sleep, but I have to talk to the boys first.”

She let Porscha lay her down, but Riya looked back up at her. “Before you go, there's something I need. It's a big favor and I'm not sure if it can be done, but I want you to try.”

“Anything you need, I can make it happen.”

“It's about Alec and Fiore…”

“Fabio, control your breathing. Riya is fine and darling will take care of her now.” Sergei said as they exited the room.

“I know, I know! I just…I was so worried! I didn't think babygirl was going to be in such a bad state!”

“They cut the cameras for a reason.” The taller man sighed, he then turned his attention to Alec. “Mr. Çelik, thanks for keeping watch over Riya. I admire your kindness.”

He should've laughed. What kindness? He was probably the most selfish person here, trying to win it all just to preserve his pathetic existence a little longer. Even this, it was all selfish, he just wanted to hold her one last time. He just wanted to pretend fate hadn't been cruel to them both for a little longer…

But Alec fancied himself a good liar, or at least he was good at bending truths so he smiled and nodded politely. “You're most welcome. Her safety concerns me too, despite it all. I know you'll handle everything well from here on out.”

“You say that, but I think I'm about to faint.” Fabio said, and he couldn't quite tell if the blonde man was joking or being sincere.

Sergei rolled his eyes, pulling out a box of cigarettes from his back pocket. “Gentlemen, knock yourselves out.”

“You're not using one?” Fabio asked.

“Don't want to smell like ash when I go hug wife.”

Alec wasn't much of a smoker, but given he still felt anxious from the night's events he took the offer of a smoke and let Fabio light him up.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Say, how are you holding up? Unlike us, I don't think you're used to gory scenes.” The blonde man asked.

That was an alarming statement, but Alec chose not to question it. He didn't know what these people had been through and he had no right to ask.

“I am well. It was alarming to find her…like that. But now that she is stable and conscious there's no need to worry.” He lied. 

He was still terrified, because he knew that these thoughts and desires wouldn't fade in just a night. Should her crew not keep a good watch over her Riya could…

“Alec?” 

Fabio's voice brought him back and he shook his head, hoping that would make the thought fade. “I am in no position to ask or even assume you'd do otherwise, but please…take good care of her.”

‘Otherwise, she'd join me wherever the wicked and dead go.'

“No need worry. The shining star will be lovingly cared for.” Sergei promised.

A star…She would like that wouldn't she? Good, he left her in capable hands. Now if only he was certain Fiore was left in good hands too he could go without regrets.

Porscha opened the door and exited the room, she closed it softly, to not wake Riya.

“How’s she?” Sergei asked as he let his wife lean on him. 

“I cleaned and patched up her wounds, heart rate is normal and so is her breathing. I'll stay overnight. Can the two of you room together?”

“No problem! I'll take care of the big plushie for you!” Fabio said as he hugged Sergei. The taller man didn't seem to mind and patted him on the head. 

“Yes yes, you're a horrible sleeper.” He said. “Just don't toss me off the bed like last time.”

“I didn't notice plus you're big and tall, this ain't on me!”

“You tossed my tiny ass too, and this is before I was pregnant!” Porscha protested.

“No comment!” Fabio said.

Alec let a chuckle escape him at the scene before him. No wonder Riya was fond of these three. That got Porscha's attention who addressed him, in a slightly formal but still friendly voice.

“Alec, I have a proposition for you. Riya herself has asked me to deliver these news and you're more than free to refuse but I think all of us would be happy to have you accept.”

Now just what would she ask for? The game was over, there was no need for alliances, he didn't think…

“What is it?”

“Riya wants to offer you a place to live in her mansion in LA, we want to pay for rehab as well, and should she agree, I can pull some strings for Fiore to be released from boarding school and into our custody, so she'd be able to live with you as well.”

He dropped the cigarette just by hearing that and stomped on it. It was everything he'd wanted, all he would've done had he won. But he didn't, neither of them did.

“You mean it? I…I can't accept such an offer! I didn't save her for compensation!”

“I know, she knows, we all do. But regardless, Riya was insistent we help you, and this is the best way we can do so.”

He didn't know what to say. There wasn't much waiting for him back in London. Perhaps he could go back and make apologies, collect his documents and go. He'd always wanted to see the states, though now he supposed he'd be living in them.

Living with Riya…this wasn't just a positive for him. This way he could make sure she was healing well, he could make sure she stayed safe and maybe…maybe in time they'd mend the friendship they once had. ‘That is all you'll ever get.’

“As tempting as this is, it not only involves me. I need to consult with Fiore.” Alec handed Sergei the key to his room. “You can both stay here. I'll talk to Fiore and room with her.”

“Very well! We're going to wake up at 8 and get ready to leave at 9. Let us know of your choice before then.”

“I shall. Thank you.”

Alec didn't care of uncertainty or past transgressions now. He'd been given another chance, when he thought all that awaited him was a bullet and blood splatter upon returning home without the win. Now, he just had to make sure both he and Fiore could leave behind their sorrows, and help keep Riya alive.

This was the last night she'd get to sleep in peace and she was wasting it in an in between state. Fiore knew that in a few hours she'd be sent back to that dreadful school and they'd ‘discipline’ her for her escape. Now that neither she nor Alec won, she was stuck there until she was eighteen. That is, if she lived that long.

A knock on her room's door startled her. It was Alec.

“Hey, mind if I crash with you? I have some news.”

“Come in.”

He sat on the bed and helped her climb on, tucking her in gently. “We…We have a way out. You don't have to go back to that school and I can leave England for good and we can stay in the same place together.”

Fiore thought that this was but a drunken ramble. She had seen Alec drink back at the party, then again beer didn't seem to have much of an effect anymore.

“You mean it? How? Wait, did you rob Jake and Ally?!”

“No, no, it's nothing like that!” Alec quickly reassured her. “It's…Riya. She's offered to take us both in and get us out of our respective situations.”

“Riya?! Why would she even offer?!”

Fiore wasn't fond of the Indian actress. The woman was pretty and certainly a good competitor to make it as far as she did. Sadly she was also the reason Fiore was unable to merge. If Magenta hadn't lost the triathlon then Hunter would've been eliminated when she was, and without another Magenta loss, she could've merged, had a better chance at the win, and even spent the time with Alec she desperately wished she'd had before.

Sure they weren't teammates but they were in an alliance, Riya should've known she'd be out if Magenta lost, she needed her help and yet…’Whatever, she's not the first or last adult that will fail me.’ This was a lesson Fiore knew all too well.

“She feels like she owes me a debt. It's complicated.”

Fiore would've dropped the matter if not for the heartbroken expression on Alec's face. It wasn't often that she saw the man look so utterly devastated.

“Alec…What happened?”

He sighed running a hand through his messy hair. “She was going to kill herself. She tried to, she would have succeeded if I hadn't found her! Fiore, I found her bleeding and breathless! 

After that was settled and her crew arrived they told me of her offer and I wanted to discuss it with you.”

Fiore was surprised. Riya, the Riya Sharma, being suicidal? She would've believed it to be an act if not for the fact that Fiore too had spent many moments lingering a little too long at the opened windows of her school's highest floors. A drop like that and it was all over. No more pain, no more regrets, but no more hope. 

She'd held on and it paid off, as she got to see Alec again and they mended things from the brutal end of their original season. Still, it was a temporary respite and given neither of them won, they'd be torn apart come morning and back into their own hells if not for this offer.

“What are you going to do?” Fiore asked. 

“I want to say yes. I know you don't trust her, and I understand, but compared to what awaits us this is the better option. I also want to look after her. I'm almost certain this is the beginning of a downward spiral or perhaps a warning of the end. Despite all she did, Riya does not deserve the abandonment.”

“You're right. I don't trust Riya, but I trust you. Not doing so nearly cost me your care, and I'm not making that mistake again. Anything is better than that school. Count me in.”

Alec smiled. “Then let's sleep. We have to be up early and leave it all behind.”

Fiore nodded and obeyed.

It was so surreal to have a golden opportunity just drop into her lap like this! Sure, leaving Italy for the states wasn't a possibility she considered before, but if Alec was with her she'd do it. As for Riya, maybe she could grow to trust her too. 

The once wicked woman she knew wasn't there, because she would've never let her enemies have the joy of seeing her wheeled out of this motel on a gurney covered by a black body bag.

‘Guess silver didn't just break me…’ She thought as she drifted away. 

Fiore huddled close to Alec. He didn't mind and pulled her into a hug. The man seemed exhausted too. He'd been exhausted since she first saw him again before the game even began.

But for now at least, they could sleep in peace…

Riya's eyes opened when the sun snuck through the window. She rose up and immediately felt her body aching. Even after some sleep, she was still in pain. ‘Damn it! Not even an oxycodone overdose helped! Am I going to need morphine to even ease the pain?!’

The events of last night slowly came back to her. She glanced around the room and saw Porscha packing her stuff and getting things ready.

“Good morning! How'd you sleep, hon?”

“Good, but it still hurts.”

“That is to be expected. Lemme check you.”

Her agent gave her an impromptu check up and gently analyzed all of her bruises and aching joints. “You're still bruised and I cannot tell if you have internal damage but in regards to bones there's nothing else broken. Gotta commend Mr. Reiner he did an excellent job patching up.”

“He was quite kind. I should pay him back somehow.”

“I can have job offers sent his way if he needs them. There are rumors there won't be a bus next season.”

“Next season? They already confirmed another one?! After this?!”

“For now it's all speculation babygirl and regarding your injuries we wouldn't have a case against them. Most that can be argued is that the scorpions shouldn't be there but they were contained and there were signs you and Yul both saw. I'm sorry.”

“No, don't apologize. This was no one's fault but my own.”

The fact that these injuries and pain were of her own making was inescapable to her. Riya didn't want to think about it, but everytime her eyes closed she felt herself clinging to that cliff and crying out as she fell, only hearing Yul screaming out her name and unable to do anything because the scorpions got him too. ‘At least he didn't fall with me.’

These memories were not pleasant but if anything they did replace the horrors of her near drowning on the season two finale. Perhaps now she wouldn't wake up coughing and spitting because the feel of water wouldn't leave her mouth. 

“Uh Porscha, how do I take a bath with these?” Riya asked as she pointed to her casts. “Are they waterproof?”

“Not this type. They're provisional and I'm certain we're meant to get you better ones back at home. For now I have protective plastic on the first aid kit. I'll fill up the bath for you and then put ya in no problem, or I can give you a sponge bath.”

“No! No…Listen I know you were a magnificent nurse, and that you better than anyone would take great care of me but I don't want to burden you more than I already have.”

Porscha sat beside her on the bed and took her hands in hers. “Babygirl, I told you, you could never be a burden, to me or to any of us. We will all strive to take care of you.”

Yes and that was precisely the problem. A woman close to giving birth wasn't supposed to be her caretaker, her bodyguard had his own chronic pains to tend to, Fabio had plans that didn't concern her but would likely put them on hold for her sake, and Reynold…oh she couldn't let the one who helped her shine down.

‘If only I'd just stayed content with what I had we wouldn't be in this mess. It always comes down to me, doesn't it?’

Porscha hugged her and left to fill the bath with bubbles and calming soads, her friend then helped her prepare, undress, and got her in the warm water, which slightly soothed her broken body.

“Comfy?”

Riya nodded. “Thank you, for everything.”

“I live to serve, dearie. Now, onto some big news. Alec and Fiore have both accepted your offer. Sexy nerd man knocked on our door about half an hour before you woke up. I quickly settled the matter of the kiddos schooling and paid off Alec's fine for eviction so his credit will be peachy when he moves in with us. After rehab this should help him when it's time to find a job. As for Fiore, all that's needed is for her parents to surrender custody. From what the kiddo has said in interviews and season one, it's likely they'll give her up in a heartbeat.”

She sunk herself onto the water slightly, but not enough to trigger a panic attack. The idea of someone being so willing to give up on their child made her so very upset. Fiore wasn't even a decade old! She was mischievous and smart but she was just a little kid! Even when she was at odds with her family she knew they wouldn't give up on her and unlike Fiore she was an adult a world away…’It's okay. We'll take good care of her. I'll be better than I was in the game.’

“Then, what's left to do?” Riya asked.

“We can assign groups later. One should go to Italy to settle things with Fiore's parents and the other should go to England with Alec to get his documents and say goodbyes before we go back home. Reynold is on building duty so by the time we get back the house will be wheelchair friendly! After that…I suppose planning will continue in LA”

It was a start. Solid, slightly uncertain but the first step toward a better path.

“Then let's get ready.”

After her bath, Porscha helped her get dressed in a long yellow dress with long sleeves, hiding the bandaged wounds from last night. It was about 8:30 A.M. when the girls heard a knock on the door. Porcha thought it would be her husband or maybe Alec. Riya didn't expect it to be Grett. 

“Good Morning! Sorry, I didn't know you had company. I just wanted to have a chat before you left. Is that okay?”

Unexpected, but she wouldn't refuse. “Porscha, can you wait for us outside?”

“No problem! I'll go get the tour bus ready so we can roll out at 9 sharp! Text me if you need me.”

She noticed that Grett looked slightly unsure even when Porscha left. “How are you feeling?”

Riya knew that if she answered that question sincerely they'd be here all day. “Better than yesterday.” She said. 

“That's good to hear. I don't want to take too much of your time, I just wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? Grett you've done nothing to me that would warrant apologies!”

“Exactly…I did nothing. You were in terrible pain yesterday, and no one was sympathetic. I should've offered to wheel you around, or bring you food, instead I just glanced at the window and then went to bed. I'm sorry.”

She smiled sadly. Truly this girl had been a gem she took for granted. “No need to apologize for that. None of you were responsible for what happened to me, and well, it was your last night here. I don't blame you for wanting to spend it with Gabby and Ellie.”

“Gabs is still misty eyed and we haven't left yet. She also said to send you well wishes. I think she's worried her favorite actress will retire.”

“Tell her not to worry. I don't plan on retiring.” Another lie, for if Alec hadn't found her she would've quit on more than just acting.

“That's good to hear.”

“Actually Grett. I owe you an apology too. I said I'd stand up for you against Yul and didn't do it. Gabby asked to vote him out and I…advocated to keep him for the numbers.”

“It's okay. I was livid at you and Alec before but on reflection you were just being logical about the game. I can hardly blame you for that. Truth is if I hadn't been voted out I planned to get rid of you at final four and go to the finale with Ally and Connor.”

“Ah. Well, I can't deny that’s a brilliant move.” Riya said with a shrug. “Going up against easy opponents it's almost always a guaranteed win…”

It could've been for her too, when she went up against a terrified Aiden feuding with an emotionally strained James. A shame that her supposed helper drowned that plan under freezing water.

Grett chuckled. “Thanks. I understand why you both did what you did and while I can't claim its the right choice, it was at the very least a smart one to make while still viable. But I deeply appreciate the apology. I know you meant it when you encouraged me to stand up for myself and I believe I'll be doing that more often now.”

“That's great to hear. Thanks Grett and I am hoping that you get everything you want and more. I enjoyed meeting you and working with you.”

“Same here. If you're ever in Liverpool let me know. I'd love to catch up over coffee.”

“I'd be happy to take you up on that.”

Grett bent down and hugged her. Riya reciprocated and was appreciative of the affection received. She didn't think anyone would say nice things about her after everything that happened during the competition. 

“Say, you want to have breakfast with me and the girls? I don't think anyone else is up yet.”

“I'd love that, but would that be okay with Gabby and Ellie?”

“As long as we're not eating meat it'll be fine. The more the merrier! C'mon, I'll help you out.”

Grett gently wheeled her out of the room and they headed for the dining area of the motel. As she stared at the morning sun, Riya felt a glimmer of hope take hold. Perhaps not everyone was against her, right?

“Riya is having breakfast and the guys are setting up the bus. Do you need me to help you with your luggage?” Porscha asked.

“No thanks, Mrs. Romanov. I'm fine.” Alec answered.

Porscha laughed. “Sweetie, you can just call me by my name. Same goes with the boyos, we're all in the same crew now!”

Alec smiled. “Then the same applies here. I'll just take this to the bus. Perhaps Fiore might need your assistance.”

“Noted. I'll go help out the girlie.”

He took the stairs as he carried down his only bag. It was surreal to think that in just a few hours his situation had taken such a turn. He didn't know what he was going to do after the finale, his biggest concern was leaving Fiore behind if he did end his life, only for that to take a backseat when Riya was the one who nearly ended her own life and he'd saved her. The woman who he should've considered his undoing chose to help him and Fiore. And now, he was about to leave his old life behind and start anew as he wanted.

The ‘tour bus’ was easy to spot. Big, painted purple and blue and loaded up for their trip. Yeah this seemed like Riya's thing. He spotted Sergei leaning against it as he kept the trunk open.

“Good morning, Alec. Want breakfast?” 

He offered him a sealed container with yogurt, granola, and fruit.

“Good morning, yes that would be great, thanks.”

He ate while the Russian guard drank a bottle of juice and checked everything. “All that's left is for little one's things to be loaded and we go.”

Go. He was leaving this place forever, this little motel, the camp, he didn't think he ever made it out after season one, but he was leaving now and not to the grave. ‘How the fucking night changes.’

“I think it's time. Anyone you wanna see off?”

He debated for a moment if he should go see Connor off. His friend was seemingly asleep when he passed his room after waking up and getting ready. Interrupting his slumber for a goodbye was pointless, they'd already exchanged contact information so Alec chose not to go.

“I'm fine. Let's go get the others.”

He was already excited for this new beginning, even if his own aches and sorrows lingered beneath the surface he now had a chance of recovery, and he owed it all to Riya.

‘I'll have to thank her properly.’

“I am so stuffed. I can't belive I had so much oatmeal!"

“You needed a lot of food after yesterday's exhaustion!” Porscha said as she wheeled her to the bus. “It was nice to meet the VA girls in person. I hope things go well for them.”

“Me too.” Riya had given them all her contact information. If there was ever an opportunity to help she'd take it, especially knowing what it was like to be in Ellie's shoes. She'd have to look into that.

Sergei was at the bus, warming it up and waiting for the others. “Alec and Fabio are retrieving child. We can board.”

“You ready?” Porscha asked.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Yesterday had been a warning. She was still in pain, felt hopeless, and knew that what awaited might be the hardest thing she'd do in her life. Her deep sorrows nearly led her to take a drastic measure in her utter despair. Now she'd been given a sign, an affirmation that she could rise again, and she owed it all to Alec. 

“Riya!” 

She froze upon hearing that voice and dug her nails onto the armrest of her wheelchair. She didn't need Porscha to turn her around to know who'd just called her name.

Connor was awake, already dressed to leave and glaring at her and the staff with the same steely silver glare he'd given her when Marcus brought her out. 

She wasn't free of punishment just yet.

Give me a sign
There's something buried in the words
Give me a sign
Your tears are adding to the flood

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: I don't mind falling to pieces...

It only hurts just once…
They're only broken bones…
Hide the hate inside…

Show me what it's like
To dream in black and white
So I can leave this world tonight!
Holding on too tight
Breathe the breath of life
So I can leave this world behind!

“Leave, Connor. I have nothing to say to you.” Riya said, her tone soft and calm but nevertheless firm as Porcha wheeled her back so she could face him.

“What, you think I'm letting you escape consequence?! Not in a million years!”

Ironic echoes of what he'd said when asked if he still loved her. Perhaps the detector got it wrong.  There's no way this man still loved her then, not when he gripped her wrist so hard it bruised during comebacks, and he did it just to get back in the game to destroy her.

Well, she was now destroyed inside and out, she had faced consequences, she lost! What more did he want?! For her to break more bones?! To crawl across the floor like a worm?! To be left to rot alone in her own vile?! No…He just wanted her to be miserable.

Well, she wouldn't. Not even after yesterday, she wouldn't ever beg for him again!

“Consequence? Consequence?! Unless you've suddenly become visually impaired you very well saw what happened to me! You can see I'm now in a wheelchair and was eliminated from the show as you wanted! What else do you want from me?!” She asked. “What more consequences should I face?!”

“You're avoiding the people you hurt! After all you did this season, the least you could do is apologize to everyone you threw away for something you already had!”

“That's fucking rich coming from you! You nearly broke my wrist in comebacks just to return and bring me down! Twice already you've chosen to make me lose because you disagree with what I do! Game's over, Connor! I don't owe you or anyone here anything!”

He was enraged and slightly horrified. “You're not even sorry?! Heh, guess I should've known you wouldn't learn your lesson. To think that you hurt Jake, Ally, and so many others and not feel any regrets!”

Please, Jake and Ally could cry into their money or their pathetic boyfriends arms. She knew he didn't care as much for them, all he cared about was the ‘hurt’ she caused him. She'd warned him at the start of the game that she'd play to win, that he should stay away to avoid the hurt, that she wanted this more than anything. But like always he didn't listen.

Riya didn't want to waste her breath on this man anymore. 

“I have nothing more to say to you.” She said, holding his enraged and devastated gaze. “Porscha get me onto the bus, please.” She asked her agent.

“Gladly.”

Her friend nodded and was about to comply. But Connor's voice made them both stay still and marred by his words, Riya especially. 

“I once thought you were worth saving. Now I see that it might've been better to leave you in either of those caves.”

He wanted her to be left for dead. Be it either in the depths of that lake, or the cave full of scorpions and the cliff that she desperately held onto for nought.

It hurt. More than it should really. Not because it was him, as any shred of love she might've had left for Connor ebbed away when she saw him smirk at her yesterday in her miserable state. No, this hurt because this man once sacrificed himself for her. He once thought her worthy of the most valiant act of love to be committed and now, now he wanted her to rot.

She'd been ruthless and cruel, she didn't fault him for not loving her anymore, but others who she'd hurt were either silent, empathetic, or sympathetic. He once claimed he loved her more than anyone else ever did, but if that claim had been true he wouldn't be wishing for her torture. No one ever got a change of heart that quickly nor abruptly.

‘To the very end, I was nothing but a doll to you, was I? Pretty to love, mold, and show off but the moment I wasn't what you wanted, you chose to think of me as garbage to be disposed of…’

The words didn't leave her, neither did tears. Before she could react she heard a groan of absolute feral rage escape Porscha.

“How dare you?! You hypocritical waste of oxygen on legs! I used to think that there might be a smidgen of decency within you but clearly I was wrong! How dare you say such vile things to Riya?! Does it hurt your pathetic ego so much, to know that she won't bend to your bullcrap?!”

“I am not talking to you, Porscha!”

“Tough shit, cuz I am talking to you, but I think I'll let my fists say the rest!”

She knew what was going to happen as Porscha let go of the wheelchair handles and shoved her hands into her pockets. When she took them out she was wearing silver brass knuckles.

“Porscha, no!”

Things happened so fast Riya almost couldn't register it. Porscha got in position and was ready to throw a punch. She didn't know if Connor would block or counter, but there was no need for either.

Before either party could harm the other she saw Sergei rush with an almost inhuman speed toward both Connor and his wife. He got between them and his hand blocked her strike, and in Connor's case he didn't hit him, but had a small switchblade pressed against the man's neck.

“My heart, please go back to Riya and care for her. A battery charge isn't worth it” He said sweetly to Porscha.

“Says the man who snuck knifey past TSA again.” Porscha joked.

Sergei chuckled darkly. “Trade secrets, beloved.” 

Any hint of playfulness evaporated when Sergei's raging silver eyes fell upon Connor. “For someone bad at English, I know enough to say your words were despicable. Go near my wife or friend again and I make sure to leave no trace of you.”

He meant it too, Riya knew just what the man had escaped yet still knew how to carry out.

None of them could say another word. Footsteps approached as Alec was carrying Fiore on his shoulders while Fabio carried her luggage.

The new arrivals said nothing. Alec just passed Fiore over to Fabio and motioned with his head for them to head into the bus. ‘I'll handle this.’

She wanted to protest, but a gentle hazel gaze looked at her sweetly. As if to reassure her that he had it under control.

Riya chose to trust him. But her brown eyes were still glued to him as Porscha stepped away and helped her onto the bus.

‘Please, don't get hurt for my sake again.’

“I am assuming you have questions.” Alec said. He really hated arguments, but he knew that if he didn't separate the explosive group there'd be teeth and blood splattered all around the parking lot.

“I do, actually. Firstly, what in God's name are you doing?! You seriously cannot be considering leaving with her!”

“We have an agreement, I want to do this. There's nothing shady going on, if that's what concerns you.”

“Alec, she's trying to avoid consequences again! She said she's not sorry! Someone like that does not deserve your loyalty!”

He had to sigh. “Really Connor what more consequences do you want her to face? She's lost the game, she will have to undergo physical therapy and excruciating pain for at the very least a few months, the majority of the cast despises her and in her condition she might have to renounce some professional projects. Seems to me like enough punishment.”

It was more than enough, especially when it all led her to the darkest depths of despair, where only death seemed like a fitting escape. Alec didn't ever want to see her breathless and bloodied like that again. 

“She doesn't want to face the people she's hurt! Sneaking off with her band of criminals so early in the morning, never saying sorry, outright refusing to acknowledge her faults! Doesn't it make you angry?!”

No. It didn't. Because for all that had happened in the game, and between them, Alec didn't ever feel like he wanted to punish her. Sure he didn't want her to win, but he didn't want her in harrowing pain, he didn't want to see those once big bright eyes so dull and full of sadness, he would probably accept her victory if it meant the haughty, vain, and joyful Riya Sharma remained and smirked at him one last time.

“Whatever anger I had left for Riya has dissipated. I'm not excusing her actions but frankly the fact that you're so obsessed with giving her more penance has me concerned.” Alec said sincerely.

Again his aversion for confrontation flared when the man looked both bewildered by his words and so very mad.

“Just what happened last night between you two?! You're excusing her and helping her, when you wanted her downfall as bad as all of us did!”

He was growing exasperated. “I didn't want her downfall to be severe injury, Connor! I just wanted her to lose the game!

As for last night…It isn't my secret to tell. All I can say is that Riya is going through a hard time and I want to be there for her. That's all I can share with you.”

Connor scoffed. “You're a liar just like her, aren't you?

I asked you if you had feelings for her, you said no. You denied it up until today, you said that you valued our friendship more, and I foolishly believed you. But it seems to me like you're still in love with her, enough to let her make you her puppet on a string again! I thought you'd changed for the better, Alec. That you were going to be a good man from now on, but no. You're perfectly content to go back to your old ways and let her drag you along! 

If this is the path you want to take, then fine. But I don't intend to stay friends with someone who's this foolish and deceitful. I hope it was worth it!”

He wanted to argue against this. That he didn't lie, that he meant it when he said he valued Connor's friendship, that he didn't love- Well no…Maybe that one was a lie, he loved her once, perhaps a part of him still did.

Regardless, Alec had no opportunity to refute Connor's claims. The older man walked away from him and Alec chose not to protest or chase after him. There was no point. 

He got on the bus where everyone was already seated. Porscha was at the driver's seat and glanced at him as he got on. ‘You okay?’ She mouthed.

“Yes.” He said. In between a truth and a lie. He certainly wasn't happy about this outcome but he'd deal with it.

Alec sat beside Riya on one of the large cushioned seats. She looked concerned. “Did he try to fight you? Are you okay?” She asked.

“I am fine. There's no need to worry, I highly doubt he'll ever speak to us again.”

Riya instantly knew what happened and she looked absolutely heartbroken. “I am so sorry. You can just tell him why we're speaking again, maybe that can convince him to stay friends.”

“No. Riya, I have no intention of revealing such a personal secret of yours to a man who clearly has a grudge against you. 

If Connor wants to discard our friendship over my decision to rekindle my bond with you then let him. I don't want friends who crave hold over my decisions. It's a pity it must end this way, but it's not my call to make.”

She looked calmer, but dejected. Still, Riya looked at him again with pretty sparkling eyes and a sweet smile. “Thank you for standing up for me. And for keeping my secrets. I appreciate it.”

He smiled too. “Anytime.”

Alrc noticed she was answering texts on her phone. One was from Eesha who he recognized as her younger sister. The other was unexpected, but he recognized the name and face of Karol Jones from the second season. It seemed like there was someone else in this cast who still cared for the starlet.

“Alright everyone, before we drive off here's the plan. Sergei and Fabio will accompany Fiore to Italy to retrieve her personal documents and get the custody surrender. I shall go with Riya and Alec to England and we will get his documents and say goodbyes.

Sergei will pilot the plane to England and the Italy group will proceed to travel by train to Milan. Any objections?”

No one opposed.

“Excellent! Then let's get this show on the road!”

With that the doors were closed and Porscha began to drive. In a minute they were out of the parking lot and onto the road.

He saw Fabio walking toward them. “Everyone okay? Need me to brew tea?”

“I'm fine, thank you.”

“Me too, don't worry Fabi.”

“Oi, it's my job to worry! By the way, I brought a little something you might be missing, Riri!”

He handed Riya a small doll, it was an idol of the hindu warrior goddess Kali. Perhaps she was Riya's patron goddess.

The doll was made of glass and had Kali's charcoal skin, intense eyes, typical pose with her four arms, and the necklace made out of heads around her neck.

“You brought her! Thank you!” Riya said as she gently took the doll in her hands and held it lovingly.

“Had to take her from her stand in your living room. Shiva however is still on the altar. I told Rey to be careful. Silver fox's been warned.”

Riya giggled. “Go easy on him. Thanks for this! I really needed her.”

“No problem lovey. Both of you get cozy, we have a half hour before getting to the airport.”

It was sweet to see how gentle and loving Riya's friends were with her. He also noticed Fabio had a bracelet of jade beads on his wrists. ‘Even being a buddhist he brings her a hindu idol. That's nice.’

Religion was not something dear to him. Alec only approached the subject from a purely educational perspective. Still, he could understand how dear it was to many and at least now it seemed to be providing comfort to Riya.

“Feeling better?” He asked.

“Yeah. It's nice to have her here. She's comforting.”

“Kali is a goddess of destruction, time, and death but she's also a mother figure and lady of rebirth. I'm certain having her near might help with your healing.”

Her eyes lit up with joy. “You've read up on hindu deities?”

“I've read up on all religions. Being agnostic makes you curious about them all.”

“Makes sense, you're a man of books after all. What are your interpretations? I'm sure a smart man like you has fascinating thoughts about hinduism.”

“Heh, you'll have to tell me to shut up if I keep going. What would you like to hear?”

She smiled at him, tired and still shaken but also joyful. It was the same pretty smile she'd given him back at camp when they sat down to talk and pass the time. 

“Everything.”

And just like that whatever sorrow he felt over his fractured friendship slowly dissipated, as he spoke with her like in the happy days when they were a team.

Maybe they could be a team again in time.

They were nice. Fiore wasn't used to niceness, or at least people being nice when they knew how rotten she was.

Alec had kept near through the long flight and watched over her when she wanted to sleep. Riya knew things between them were tense but still she covered her with a blanket and was sweet to her. Fabio was the type of overly bouncy person she often disliked and yet Fiore didn't mind the blonde being accommodating and nice.

Sergei hadn't spoken much and was busy piloting the plane, still he seemed nice enough. ‘Well, at least I know his kid will be fine.’

Speaking of such, Fiore glanced at Porscha who practically lived glued to her tech. The woman was setting up everything for their arrival in Europe and the return to LA. She had to be urged by Riya to rest, especially in her state. Still, she worked and seemed adamant in caring for Fiore too. ‘Save that for your own kid, I'm beyond being given snacks and affection.’

They were landing soon, and after that they'd take a train ride to Milan so her parents could rescind custody and…then what?

She wanted Alec to be the one to take her in but the man was going to be undergoing rehab soon, even if he did so from home he had no capital, no job, and the property was in Riya's name so…Could he take her? She figured that wouldn't work. Did that mean Riya would take her? Being the daughter of a famous actress could have its perks but the two weren't close and she wasn't sure if Riya would even want the burden. As far as she knew Fabio was single and fruity like a loop, so having her fellow Italian adopt her would be an uphill battle as a single gay man. Would the Romanovs take her? They had a baby on the way, no doubt they wouldn't want more on their plate but they were kind and sweet. ‘Anything is better than what I have…I'll go with whoever takes me.’

The plane landed and she clung to Alec tightly. 

“Don't worry, we will be together again soon.” He told her then addressed the men. “Take good care of her.”

“On my life, we shall.” Sergei said. “Let's go, little one. We have a train to catch.”

First class seats and boarding weren't what she expected, but Fiore didn't complain. She stared at the starry sky as they traveled to her hometown via train.

“Mia Bella, you should sleep. It's a 10 hour trip. We will be arriving in Milan at midday.” Fabio said as he covered her with a blanket and offered a neck pillow.

“I am not sleepy…”

“Worried?”

“Yeah. I…don't know what they'll say when they see me.”

“Family, it can be complicated. Truth is I swore never to return to Italy as long as mi cazzo father lived." Fabio said icily. "I pray he does not find us now. Still a part of me, even at 30 years old still foolishly longs for familial love from the people who made my youth a sea of sorrow.

We do not choose who births us or how they feel about us. What we do get to control is our paths after we cast them out of our lives. Rest assured, we will all take good care of you, and make sure you're able to reach whatever goals you set for yourself.

And, for what it's worth, no matter what your parents say, I think you're very intelligent and cool. I'd be happy to call you family, kiddo.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Perhaps Fabio would change his mind about her, and so would the others, but for now all she could was treasure those words.

The ride passed quickly after she fell asleep. Soon enough they reached Milan, and Sergei gently woke her and Fabio.

“Time to go.”

The group had to rent a car to reach the villa where the Ricci family resided. It hadn't changed a bit in the two years she'd been gone. ‘It's almost as if I never left, or as if my presence never mattered in the first place.’

Fiore wasn't even sure what she was hoping for. She'd changed into a cute yellow dress Porscha had gifted her. She had her hair down like she did when she was younger and even wore a big white bow along with white socks and black Mary Janes. To anyone else she looked like any adorable little girl, they probably wouldn't even suspect her to be a rotten mess.

But these weren't gullible strangers. These were her parents, they knew her, they were the first to call her what she truly was and the first to give up on her.

Sergei noticed her hesitancy and gently held her hand. “We shall be by your side, whatever happens.”

She nodded, and the trio headed for the door. Fiore had a sweet smile and sparkling eyes as they waited for an answer.

The joy was swiftly taken out of her when a glaring gaze fell upon her. Her parents both answered the door, not the least bit changed since they dropped her off in that nunnery of hell.

Both of them were puzzled to see the two men that accompanied her, but glared and groaned upon seeing her.

‘Can dress up the pig, but its nature doesn't change…’

“Mr. and Mrs. Ricci?” Fabio asked in a sweet tone.

“Yes?”

“I apologize for the interruption, I am here to inform you that Fiorella's stay at her assigned school has come to an end.

However if you permit it, we could arrange for her to be taken into custody elsewhere, and perhaps adopted. May we come in?”

Oh, the glimmer of interest at those words made her stomach twist in both anger and pain. She should've known they'd be quick to discard her.

Fiore remained quiet and waited as Fabio explained everything to her parents. How she'd be cared for, how this would come at no cost to them, but should they do so they'd lose custody of her forever and she might not want to see them in the future. It was odd to see him being so collected and professional, speaking in perfect Italian and being the picture of elegance while he was really a goofy man.

“If you agree with these terms, just sign these documents and we'll be off once Fiore's personal papers are provided.”

She mentally pleaded for them to hesitate, to ask her what she wanted, to look at her one last time, or to even pretend they hadn't given up on her the moment she stopped being an adorable agreeable baby.

Instead her father signed first, not even sparing her a glance as he went to get her legal documents for her departure. Her mother signed too, looking as cold as always as she slid the papers towards Fabio.

“You may take whatever you want from your room.” Was all she said to Fiore.

Addressed as formally as they would an adult, because that's what they saw her as. A wicked mini adult instead of a child. Because really, who would want a kid like her? So calculating, and so eager for knowledge, so ready to grow because she wasn't good at being a normal sweet child. Oh, she just knew they were so giddy to be rid of her.

“I don't want a damn thing from you!” Was all she said. The moment the ink was upon those papers she ceased to be their child. Hopefully in time she'd grow to forget them.

Her father came back and handed Sergei the envelope with her legal papers like birth certificate, ID, medical certificate and other credentials. 

There was nothing else said. No goodbyes or hugs other than Fabio formally thanking them and gently leading her and Sergei away.

She crumbled only when they'd driven away far enough that the house was no longer visible. Only then did she cry out and let a strangled sob escape her.

Fiore hated it. She hated crying, she hated crumbling, she hated weakness!

Instead of a reprimand or pain she was given a hug by Sergei. The man rode with her on the back seat and pulled her into a gentle hug that contrasted with his intimidating appearance.

“Let it out, dear. Let it out until you cannot cry any more. I will hold you.” He said reassuringly.

Fiore obeyed. Crying until her voice was strained and her eyes were red and puffy. Once she was done, pale cold hands wiped her tears away and ruffled her hair. 

“Ser, get the candy I gave you at the station. You two need a treat.” Fabio told them as he drove.

Sergei nodded and got two pieces of candy from his pocket. They were wrapped in pretty gold paper. “Eat up, little one. A treat will ease your sorrows.”

She ate the sweet, it was like a piece of salted caramel, but went down easy. “It's yummy!”

“Glad ya think so. I made it myself! When we get home I'll get you loads of sweets!” Fabio said cheerily.

Home. She was going home. She was wanted in that home…wasn't she? Perhaps time would tell. Fiore chose to lean into Sergei's hold and stare out the window. She'd enjoy the view of the vicinity she hoped to never visit again.

This was the last ride of Fiorella Ricci. 

“Are you sure you'll be okay without me?” Porscha asked with her window rolled down. 

Alec and Riya were on the sidewalk in front of his parents home. Despite debating the merits and counters to this meeting during their flight, Alec still wasn't sure if this was the right choice.

‘I can't avoid them forever.’ He thought.

“We shall be fine.” Alec said.

“Just focus on getting everything and we'll call you later.” Riya told her.

“Gotcha. Then I'll see you both in a couple of hours.”

Alec took a breath as Porscha drove away. He didn't know why he was so nervous. His father wasn't a cruel man, just serious. His stepmother was perfectly amicable and very kind, if slightly distant as well. But that was done, he wasn't a child.

He was startled as he felt Riya taking his hand. “We can walk away if you don't want to. I promise you, it's okay.”

“No. I need to see them before I leave. Just vanishing wouldn't be fair.”

“Then I'll be here for you.” She told him.

“Thank you.”

Alec wheeled her to the front door and then rang the doorbell. He wasn't sure if he'd be recognizable in his state.

Demir Çelik opened the door. Looking just as he did the last time Alec saw him in person. He hadn't counted the time, maybe it had been a year already. Regardless, the tanned man's dark brown eyes and usual scowl remained, as did his long black curly hair, mustache and beard and his glasses that looked just like the ones his son wore. As expected even on a day off he wore a perfectly pressed dark blue suit and the silver watch that had been his late wife's last gift to him. His features softened slightly upon seeing him.

“Alec?”

“Good afternoon, father.”

“It's so good to see you! Mrs. Williams informed me that you were competing on television again, I take it the season is over?”

“Yes, and that's partly what I came here to discuss.”

Demir nodded and noticed Riya's presence as well. To her credit the actress was smiling sweetly and on her most affable behavior.

“Ah, well then why don't you both come in. Your step mother is making lunch, I'm certain she'd love the company.”

The house was always spotless and decorated with ancient Turkish relics and Catherine's beautiful paintings. Alec noticed there were more nowadays. ‘Seems like they're both doing well.’

“Cathy, we have guests!” Demir announced.

Catherine peeked her head out of the kitchen and came to greet them. As always she wore a black dress, thick glasses and her blood red hair was tied in a bun. 

“Alec! So good to see you!” She beamed, never losing her French accent after years of living in the UK. “And who is our other lovely guest?”

“I'm Riya Sharma, nice to meet you both.”

“Pleasure is ours! It's been a while since Alec brought home a girlfriend!”

That was enough to make them both turn beet red. He would've corrected them but the glimmer of hope in their eyes at the affirmation made him hesitate. Riya likely saw it too, so she played along.

“I take it he's just shy.” She joked.

Yep, he was going to die of embarrassment on the living room floor. Thankfully that didn't last long as the food was ready and they headed for the dining room.

He carried Riya and placed her on the seat, not noticing that she was flustered by the carry. She didn't say anything but seemed delighted that Catherine's cooking was characterized by a lot of spice.

It was nice to see, and he too had been nostalgic for his stepmother cooking. For just a moment he felt like a child again. ‘It was nicer than I remember, I shouldn't have taken it for granted.’

“So, Alec, what did you want to discuss?”

Sometimes he forgot how straightforward his father was, it was a trait they shared. Alec cleared his throat and tried to phrase the situation in the most flattering way possible, desperately avoiding the subject of his alcoholism.

“I plan to move overseas to the US with Riya. I came merely to introduce her to you and bid you farewell. Everything is taken care of in terms of work and legalization.”

They were surprised but did not seem upset. Catherine in particular seemed giddy “Awww a cross country romance resulting in a new adventure! That is so sweet! It reminds me of us!” She said while glancing at Demir.

Demir chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Stop darling, I'll get flustered. I have to say I never took you for the type to move away with a lover but you were always a romantic at heart. 

If everything's settled and you're happy with your choice then you have my blessings. Though I must ask. What about Daniel? Has Cheryll even attempted to contact you?”

He winced. “We haven't spoken since the divorce. Is something the matter?”

“Not really. She brings the kid over to visit every couple of weeks. I've urged her to call you and at least set up visitation. She merely said she'd think about it. Has she not even called?”

“No, she hasn't..."

“I see.”

His father looked angry. Tranquil fury blazing behind his dark eyes. Alec knew that look. Demir never directed at him or either of his wives, but he'd seen plagiarizing students, other professors, and even the director of his former boarding school being verbally eviscerated by the older man.

“Don't hold it against her. She might not bring Danny back if you mention this. Just…let her do as she wants.” Alec said.

“If you're okay with the terms I'll stay out of it. But I do believe you have the right to keep contact with your son. He misses you.” Demir told him.

No…No he didn't have any right to contact. There was nothing about him to miss! Daniel was better off without the man who didn't cheer for all his games, who didn't care for his interests, who couldn't be a proper father, and who drowned his sorrows in wine and scotch. In time he'd forget, he'd be free, he would get a proper father who could give him what Alec never could. 

“Tell him I miss him too.” 

That was all he would say about the matter. Thankfully the women noticed the shift in the atmosphere and shifted the focus to other things. He stopped dissociating upon hearing a particular question.

“How did you two meet?” Demir asked Riya.

“We met on Disventure Camp All-Stars! Alec and I played together for quite a while. He was really good company and a brilliant player if I may say so myself.

Sadly neither of us won, and I got badly injured as you can see. So he's been gentleman enough to accompany me home and help me during recovery. I wouldn't be speaking to you right now if it wasn't for him. It's been my honor and delight to meet him!”

He knew the meaning of those words. To Demir and Catherine they were romantic but to him they were heartbreaking. It wasn't a lie. He could tell Riya was being honest, but the thought that if things had gone differently yesterday she wouldn't be here. That for all of his self loathing, someone else considered him brilliant and worthy…It was hard to handle.

“Excuse me for a moment.” He said now that he'd finished his food. 

Without waiting for a reaction he left the table, and headed for the one place that might calm him down.

“Oh dear, was it something we said?” Catherine asked upon seeing the scene.

“Ah no…I think it was my fault. The truth is um…I should ask, have either of you seen the show?”

“We seldom watch television, usually news and documentaries but that is it.” Demir told her.

“Perhaps it's best if you did not see it. It brought out the darkest side out of everyone, me included. I'm not proud of my performance there and I don't think Alec is either. But if there's a positive to it it's that it got us to meet each other.” 

She was as sincere as possible when saying this. There were no cameras, and even if that was the case, she'd prioritize her defense of Alec over an image that already cost her so much.

“I should have figured. After his first season on the show he came back far more pessimistic and tried. Perhaps this is why he didn't tell us he'd participate on the show again.”

Alec had said he and his family didn't speak all that often. For all the genuine concern and love shown, she could also feel some coldness. ‘They just need a little push.’

“Perhaps you should talk to him? He was certainly hesitant about leaving without seeing you both off.”

“You're right. I shall go speak to him, I know where he is.” Demir said as headed out, leaving the women alone.

Catherine sighed. “We should let those two bond. Would you like a tour of the house, dearie?”

“Yes I'd love that.”

Alec certainly didn't act like it but from the mere decor and fancy architecture she could tell his family was well off. Perhaps not rich, but certainly comfortable. ‘It's just like mine then…and like me he couldn't reach out for help.’

Couldn't or wouldn't? Unlike her parents who would not waste a single cent helping her when she struggled with her career, Alec's parents didn't seem like the type to leave him to rot during a spiral into alcoholism. ‘They don't know, and this is not my secret to tell.’

She settled for enjoying the nice tour, particularly the library of the house, which was furnished and pretty with a big glass window that let the sunshine in.

“Here it is! Tell me, Riya, do you want to see Alec as a baby?” Catherine asked with a mischievous smile.

Oh. Oh this was absolute gold. She took out her phone, ready to keep the cutest and funniest pictures to herself.

“I'd like that very much.”

As expected Alec looked like the stereotypical nerdy child..big glasses, button up shirt, bowties, sweater vests, and a cute ponytail.

She noticed something however, that there was a beautiful brunette woman with green eyes and curly hair in near presence of him in most of the photos. ‘This must be his biological mother.’

The pictures with his mother showed a version of him that was full of smiles, laughter, and childlike shyness. But when she disappeared from the photos, Riya noticed he grew serious, his long hair was cut and he was dressed in uniform, more akin to the man she knew today than the happy child.

“Catherine, may I ask something slightly personal?”

“I don't see why not.”

“What happened to Alec's mother?” 

“He hasn't told you?”

“We haven't discussed family all that often.”

“I should've known, this is a new relationship.” Catherine sighed. “Helena Çelik passed away when Alec was eight years old. His father was heartbroken and certainly not equipped to handle such a loss. He sent Alec to a boarding school to be properly cared for as he worked through his grief. Two years after her passing we met and began dating. As soon as I learned of Alec I begged to bring him back home and while neither Demir or I are parental material we tried hard to do well by him. It's just that there are some things one cannot heal with mere love.

I never met the woman personally, only seen photos of her and some video tapes, but she certainly seemed like a delightful person. From what I know Alec inherited his preference for music and reading from her and they were very close. Demir speaks highly of her and while I am certain of his love for me, I believe he loved her deeply too. Sometimes I do feel guilty to have him now and think ‘What if she hadn't passed? They'd still be together and while I wouldn't have the love of my life he'd be happy with her, and Alec would have his mother. Would that be worth it? Is it fair for me to claim this joy when it belongs to another?’ I don't know. What I can certainly tell you is that Alec deeply loved his mother and I think her loss still wounds him to this day.

Love is no substitute for therapy or clinical healing, but it certainly helps with emotional healing. So, if I may ask of you, miss Sharma, please love my boy well, he deserves to heal.”

On that she wouldn't argue, much less when she'd once been part of the hurt too, but no more. Alec had kept her alive, he sacrificed a friendship he valued to protect her secrets and he'd been nothing but a gentleman even if she didn't deserve it.

Riya took Catherine's hands onto her own. “I promise to help Alec in every way that I can. He will be cared for, that I can guarantee. As for you,  while I may not know you or your husband well, I think he is very happy to have you, and seems to love you plenty. Never feel guilty for giving him joy, and being happy too, it's what someone as kind as Helena would've wanted. Alec also speaks highly of you, I believe he is happy to have gotten another maternal figure who shaped him well and who cares for him, otherwise we wouldn't be here now, would we? I look forward to growing closer with you all.”

Catherine smiled. “Thanks dearie. So do I.”

Helena's old room was sorta of a sanctuary for him. Her clothes had been donated save for her wedding dress still hung up on the empty closet. The wool sheets, the pictures on the walls, the vase with her ashes was upon the vanity, if one pretended they could think she still lived there.

Alec stared at the ash vase for a moment, beside it there was an old family photo of his parents holding him up when he was about six years old.

‘Now where did you go?’ He thought. 

Where was that smiling happy child? So carefree, smart, and joyful. Who remained in his place? A reflection of a broken man, with dulled tired eyes, an unkempt semblance and the disposition of bleakness. He was more an empty shell than a man, more a self made tragedy than a sympathetic force, what the hell did Riya see in him?! That had to be a lie! How could it not?! How could anyone see any worth in him anymore?! 

“I knew you'd be here.”

Demir's voice made him stand in attention. His father walked into the room, taking it in before looking at him.

“I always come here when I miss her, or when I am in pain. Miss Riya said you might be feeling bad because of your show experience. Alec, what happened?”

What could he say?! Cheryll took everything, I became a bitter asshole that everyone was right to abandon, it was winning this stupid show or the barrel of a 45! And I lost! I lost and I stupidly clung to a friend who abandoned me without a thought! That the only reason I am here speaking to you and not a splatter of crimson upon faded walls is because the woman that played me like a marionette is also the only one to understand me! That she has mercy for me despite my spite and my worthlessness! That if I hadn't found her yesterday…’

He wasn't like this. Alec Çelik didn't cry, much less in front of his father, but he hadn't been able to break in so long he just fell apart.

“It's a lie. All of it!

I'm not leaving just to be with Riya. I'm leaving because I have to! I have nothing here, it's why I never asked you both to visit after the divorce! I'm broke and on the verge of eviction, I've drank so much I'm certain my liver now looks like a raisin!  If Riya hadn't asked me to come with her…I'd be dead! Dad, I was going to kill myself with the 45 you got me years ago-”

He was cut off by his father pulling him into a tight hug. “Fucks sake, Alec! Why didn't you call us?!”

Demir's voice was broken, was he crying?! No…this man wasn't one to cry, or to hug others. Why? Had he been wrong about his father this whole time?

“Why?! I thought you'd both think I was a failure! 

I went on this stupid show instead of fixing things with Cheryll and I could tell you were disappointed to hear we were divorcing! I let myself and my ambitions go, and spiraled like an idiot! I lost everything I ever gained and wanted, I was an absolute wreck! Seeing me would've been nothing but a disappointment to you! You got stuck with me…I thought that once I'd made something of myself it would make up for it. But I stupidly lost it all over my greed and inability to listen! I'm sorry.”

Demir held onto him tighter. “Stop. You have nothing to apologize for.

Alec, I am not disappointed in you for this. I've never been disappointed in you! You're a magnificent son, a good man, you're smart, and you're kind and strong, I've always been proud of you!

What happened with Cheryll doesn't disappoint me. I was upset because you were deeply hurt by it and because it has made it difficult to spend time with Daniel. But I much prefer it for you to be divorced than stuck in a loveless marriage!

The show was certainly something I didn't approve of, but you're an adult, and you shouldn't be making your decisions based on what I or what Cathy would deem appropriate.  Besides, I know you placed highly on your first season, I'm assuming you placed high again this time. You've always been good at planning ahead.

Alec, if I ever made you feel like I am not proud of you or like I don't love you, then I am deeply sorry. Because the truth is that I do. You're my son, and I love you very much, even if I am not the most outwardly affectionate man. I don't care if you're at the height of success or at rock bottom, I will always love you. And I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to earn that. You do not, my affection isn't conditional. It will never be.”

He couldn't speak for a moment. These were words he'd longed to hear for years and didn't think he'd ever get. So he wept and wept, until he couldn't anymore.

“I always thought that you weren't thrilled to have me. That you might've preferred it if I was the one who had died from epilepsy instead of her. Mum seemed to be the one who desired children and I know it hurt her when she couldn't have more…”

Demir sighed as the two pulled away. He patted the bed and the two sat down to talk. 

“You're correct that your mother was very enthusiastic about having kids. In what concerns me, I am very happy to have you and was very happy to raise you. But had Helena said she didn't want children it wouldn't have been a problem either. Unlike her, I didn't require parenthood to be happy. It was a joy but not a necessity. 

Had we had more children then I would've loved them just as much. However I do think that even if she longed to eventually expand our family, Helena was happy with just you. My guess is she would've suggested adoption later down the line.”

“That sounds like her.”

Perhaps it was an inherited trait. Alec did long to adopt Fiore if able. He just hoped that would be okay with her, as she knew well he wasn't the most coveted parent.

“As for her passing, I won't tell you that it didn't hurt. I still miss her, I still burst into tears at unexpected moments from the mere pain in my chest, I still sometimes beg out to whatever gods are listening to give me an answer as to why such a loving soul was cruelly taken from us.

But I've never ever wished that your roles were reversed. Not only because losing you would've probably caused us both the biggest pain imaginable, but because you don't deserve the suffering that comes with that illness. 

Helena endured so much because of it, and in her case it only came to manifest when she was in high school. She often worried she passed it onto you during her pregnancy. Thankfully that wasn't the case, but I fully understand her anxiety. Epilepsy is a harrowing ailment to endure, and while I don't doubt you're strong enough to withstand it, it is for the best that those splitting pains never touch you.”

“I see…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed such cruel things.”

“Think nothing of it. I am aware that unlike your mother, I'm not the most affectionate person. She was often the one initiating affection with everyone, I just…I show my love in other ways. It is perhaps misinterpreted.” Demir sighed. “Cathy and I discussed it once. She said that she understood why I sent you away, but that you perhaps didn't think it was a kindness.”

“I wasn't miserable there. I made friends, learned plenty, and it gave me routine in a time where I would've otherwise turned into a feral child. But there were some bad things too.”

He didn't like to remember the feel of scissors scraping near his scalp and cutting down the locks that Helena once loved to braid and brush.

“I'm sorry. I thought I was doing you a favor by sending you away.

The truth is that when Helena died I felt as if I fell into a spiked pit. There was no color, no joy, no music, and it was only a matter of time until I blacked out completely. So, before I ruined myself, before I ruined you, I thought it would be better to send you somewhere you'd be properly cared for. That you could be fed, clothed and educated even if I wasted myself away like a madman.

I see now that it would've been better if I took proper care of myself and continued to care for you…We should've faced this tragedy together, perhaps we wouldn't have been this miserable if I'd been a better father. I am sorry.”

This time Alec hugged him. “It's okay. I understand. You don't have to apologize. You had lost one of the loves of your life. Obviously you fell apart. And I'm grateful you made sure I was properly cared for, any lesser man wouldn't have cared or would've taken out his pain on me. I'm grateful you didn't do that.

Thanks, for everything. I love you dad.”

Demir hugged him back. “Love you too kiddo.”

They stayed like that for a minute or two, until they saw Catherine and Riya at the edge of the doorway.

“Hello loves! Sorry for the interruption, but we were hoping you'd have dessert with us.” Catherine said.

“Yes of course. Darling, mind if we talk for a moment?” Demir said as he stood.

“Sure. Okay you two, no funny business!” Catherine said as she and her husband departed.

“Your stepmother is a sweetheart.” Riya said with a smile.

“She is. I should be more appreciative.” Alec said. 

“By the way, I wanted to apologize.”

“Hm? Oh no, don't worry about it. Things just got to me. I didn't mind what you said. It was sweet actually.”

“No, Alec I don't mean just that. I mean I am sorry for everything. 

Had you not invited me to the VA I would've likely been out in premerge, but thanks to you I could play again and play well and…and I took your contributions for granted and treated you horribly. There's no excuse for everything I did, and yet you still looked out for me and saved me. Thank you for that, and I am sorry.”

An apology given when he could hear her and not when she presumed him to be asleep. Alec smiled. “Water under the bridge, but thank you. I am happy to have my right hand woman back.”

She chuckled. “C'mon, I was gonna take over the alliance! Well I would have, if most of them made it to the end.”

“Miriam and Connor sure did a number on us…”

He didn't want to think of the man who he'd desperately tried to befriend and do well by and who chose to discard him so coldly, though in retrospect Alec should've known this would be the case. Connor didn't care about exposing his alliance, or idoling him out of the competition.  ‘You spoke so ill of her, and yet you played just as coldly.’

“Well, its not like they won either.” Riya said with a shrug. She glanced at the vanity and at the vase and pictures surrounding it. 

“Aw, more baby Alec pictures?”

He sighed. “I take it Catherine has shown you some. These were mum's favorites. She especially loved the Halloween one.”

Riya smiled at the photo. Alec was a smiling toddler dressed like Chewbacca. His mother was dressed like Princess Leia and his father was dressed like Han Solo. It was an adorable photo. Though she noticed how similar Demir looked to his son when he was younger.

“Your father looked a lot like you when he was young. He's still very handsome.”

“What?! Riya, he's 53 and married!” Alec said, exasperated.

Riya just laughed. “Relax, that just means you're also gonna be handsome when you're in your 50's. Çelik men have hot genes!”

That calmed him down, but caused him to turn red. Alec crossed his arms and looked away. “No comment.” He glanced at the clock on the wall and gasped. 

“Porscha will call you soon. We should get going. I'll go get us started on the goodbyes. Are you coming?”

“Yeah, just…can I have a minute with Helena?”

He was surprised but smiled. “Of course.” 

Alec left the room, and she was alone with the remains of the woman everyone in this house held in such high regards.

“It's a shame we didn't meet. I think I would've liked you. Perhaps in another life. But do not worry. I will take good care of him. I promise.”

Riya took off one of her gold bracelets and laid it beside the vase as an offering. She then wheeled herself away.

Before she could leave the room, she felt a faint presence, as if someone was hugging her from behind. She turned her head back but saw no one.

Still she smiled. It seemed her offering had been accepted. That left her with a promise to keep.

“Please don't hesitate to call us. We shall help with anything. Even if you need us to fly over, we'll be there whenever you call.” Catherine said as she tightly hugged him.

“We shall keep that in mind. Thank you, mother.”

He could see her black eyes water slightly upon hearing that. “You're welcome.”

“Behave yourself, Miss Sharma will keep in touch with us as well and let us know how you're all doing.”

Alec chuckled and hugged his father. “Hey, I've never misbehaved.”

“Not to worry! I will look after him, and if he misbehaves then I shall smack him! No wait, he might enjoy that.” Riya said.

“Riya!”

Alec felt himself turn beet red for what seemed like the millionth time today. His parents however did laugh at the comment. 

“Oh, so it is true! Çelik men crave dominant women!”

“Catherine!” Demir roared as he turned red too. Much to the amusement and laughter of the two women.

‘No wonder they got along so well.’

Alec did feel slightly guilty for letting his parents assume he and Riya were a couple, he didn't want to sour their farewell and ruin the moment just shared, but Riya herself had urged him to continue the ruse. 

‘They'll worry less.’ She argued, and he knew it was true.

Demir and Catherine both bent down and hugged Riya. “It's been an honor. We hope you have a speedy recovery.”

“Take care of eachother.”

“We shall. Thanks for hosting us.” Riya said.

“Anytime. Door's always open for you both.”

They heard the van park outside and Porscha honking the horn. With a final farewell they stepped out of his childhood home, and Alec looked at it wistfully and waved goodbye along with Riya as they were driving away.

He wasn't expecting to finally come clean about so much, and to make amends with parents he was distant with, but that alone was enough to make this return a positive. He was looking forward to seeing his parents again in time. 

For now there was another stop to make.

He gave Porscha the coordinates for the GPS while he got everything in order. He'd taken his restored old teddy bear from his childhood room, and carefully placed the two letters written on the plane upon the stuffed toy's bow.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Riya asked.

“I do. I must see everything through to the end.” He responded. 

Now that the documentation was in order he'd bid farewell to the last remnants of his past life before tackling happier endeavors and waiting for the group in Italy to return.

“We're here…” He said.

They stopped a little further away. For a moment he thought they arrived at the wrong place.

His former home had been remodeled thoughtly. Blue and white had been replaced by monochrome dark and clear grey. The bushes he'd planted and wooden crafts and decor he'd made were not upon the porch, instead he could only see a rocking chair with satin cushions and hanging pots with leafy plants decorating the area.

Any trace of him had been scrubbed off the home he had occupied for so many years. He was hurt, but unlike before when that hurt would drive him to rage and bitterness, he decided to be calm and peaceful.

Alec exited the car with the stuffed toy. He was headed for the porch, and would've rang the doorbell and faced his fears upon reaching it. But as he was halfway down the road to the house he caught a glimpse at the backyard, and what took place in it.

Daniel was laughing and playing catch with a tall blonde man. Said man wore a ring and looked to be familiar with the child.

Cheryll was observing them and cheering from her sitting place upon a blanket in the grass. She looked just like the last time he'd seen her, but her hair was longer and she had a ring upon her finger, and a bump in her belly.

Alec froze. Merely seeing the happy moment nearly broke him, for this had been what he once had and tossed away. And for all of his debating and pleading that he didn't want this life, he certainly missed it at times. 

‘No…It's not my place to whine and wallow. They're happy. Maybe in time I'll be too.’

Choosing to remove himself to where he wasn't wanted, Alec rushed to the porch, left the bear on the rocking chair and raced back to the car. He knew that if he hesitated for just one second he wouldn't be able to do as he wanted.

“Please drive.” He requested upon returning.

Porscha didn't say anything and did as asked. Riya placed her hand upon his shoulder gently. “Are you okay?”

“No. No I am not.” He admitted.

Ever clear.
I'll be here,
Fighting forever.
Curious,
Venomous,
You'll find me
Climbing to heaven.
Never mind,
Turn back time.
You'll be fine - I will get left behind!

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Wise men wonder, while strong men die

If you find your family, don't you cry
In this land of make-believe, dead and dry
You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hand on me one last time

Alec had felt weary since visiting his former home, but knew that wasn't what the others deserved to see, not when they'd been the only ones to offer him any solace during his darkest days.

So he faked a smile slightly, enough so that he could leave them with a good parting before heading toward a new life an ocean away.

He opened the door to the bookshop and let Porscha and Riya pass first. Afterward he went in, almost a second later he could hear a familiar voice.

“I'll be with you in a mome- Alec! I have missed you so much, you fuckin nerd!”

Libby rushed to give him a crushing bear hug that nearly made his bones crack. The muscular blonde still looked as she did last month when he said his farewells before departing for the show.

“Hello again, Libby. I've missed you too. I hope you don't mind, I brought some company.”

“Hi everyone! Nice to meet- oh God! You're Riya Sharma! My wife and I are your biggest fans! We were so worried after the finale! Glad to you're still radiant!”

Riya smiled, happy to be meeting a fan.

“Thanks for your support! It's nice to meet you too!”

“Sorry to drop by unannounced but I wanted to see you all off before departing. I'll be moving to the states.” He said.

“Ye leaving again? Dang, I thought I wouldn't have to miss you. But hey, good on ya for seeking greener pastures.

Mama's in the back and I can call Mandy. She'll be dying to bake something for everyone! Gimme one sec, should close up shop and let us have a little party of our own!”

The energetic woman left to go close the shop and retrieve her mother. Leaving the trio to wait for a moment in the middle of the store.

“So this is where you worked, it's really pretty and your friend is nice.” Riya said.

“Thank you. After the library fired me I didn't think I'd be able to work again but thankfully Mrs. Williams was kind enough to take a chance on me. 

It's odd but I shall miss this place. I just know it'll be a while before I can work properly again.”

Porscha placed a hand on his shoulder. “Eh, baby steps, my friend! Once you're done with rehab and settled in I know every library and bookstore in LA will be fighting over the DC librarian!”

He laughed. “You're exaggerating, but thank you Porscha, it is most appreciated.”

He saw Libby returning with her mother. His former boss, Jane Williams, was the typical old lady librarian from movies with white hair tied up in a bun, big glasses, and long sleeved elegant dresses. Even if she was a slow walker, there was a spring in her step as she rushed to give him a loving hug.

“Welcome back brilliant lad! It's so good to see you! How was the game?”

“Exhausting, but is is over now. I'm happy to see you again, and I'm sorry I couldn't come back a winner. I wanted to pay you back for everything.”

“No need for that. Your presence is enough of a gift.” She said lovingly as she pulled away and turned her attention towards the women. “And it's nice to meet the both of you, ladies. Am I to assume one of you is the reason for Alec crossing the pond?”

Everyone was adamant in making him flustered today. Riya and Porscha both giggled. The Hollywood agent showed her ring and shook her head. “Alec is a brilliant gentleman but I am happily married with a child on the way, ma'am. Someone else is to snatch him up.”

“I am afraid I'm the one stealing your treasured employee away, but worry not I'll make sure he's cared for and comes to visit.”

“Riya!” He said as he rolled his eyes. No doubt everyone would be getting the wrong idea about them now.

And yet…He didn't mind it. The idea of being Riya's hadn't ever been a deterrent for him, not even when he was angry and wanted to hate her. ’Lovesick Fool’

“Well, it is only fair of me to invite you all for tea. My daughter in law has set up a nice table for us in her bakery. I insist you all let me treat you!”

There were no complaints about that. Alec opened the door and let the ladies pass before they could head to Amanda's bakery. 

He felt Jane's gentle hand upon his shoulder. “It's good to have you back, even for a few hours. We were worried.”

“You didn't need to be.” He lied. For the weapon that almost led to his demise before he got the faithful call was still in his duffel bag.

“I am always going to worry. You're like another son to me.”

Those words made his tense self relax slightly. Unbeknownst to him, he had been missed and he'd been cared for.

‘I should start paying more attention.’

Fiore was relaxed, she had shed all the tears she needed to, and the further away Fabio drove, the further she felt away from those two who didn't care to lose her.

However in a mere second she heard the tires screech and felt Sergei pushing her down protectively.

“What's going on?!” She asked.

“Heh. Fuckers found me. Unbelievable!” Fabio cursed with rage and terror. "I was careful! No one knew and yet they always find a way! Merda! I didn't think I'd have to kill again..."

Fiore noticed he was loading a gun and concealing it in his pocket. “Sergei, stay down, they didn't notice ya. Shield the kiddie and only come out for back-up when you see it go off. If things get dicey, leave with Fiore.”

“Understood. Be careful.” Sergei said.

“No promises bud. Whatever happens, it's been an honor.”

Without another word he stepped out of the car and Fiore could hear voices outside.

“What's going on?! What's with Fabio?!” She half shouted, half whispered from their hiding place. 

Sergei groaned quietly. “Fabio grew up here as the son mafia boss. He escaped, not wanting to pursue life of killing and crime. His real name is-”

"Fabrizio Graviano.” A bitter voice spoke from outside the car. It was enough to frighten her.

“Giovani Graviano.” Fabio said bitterly.

“What? No warm words for your old man?”

Oh, oh they were dealing with the mafia. Actual fucking mafia. She suddenly felt terrified. Thankfully Sergei was there to calm her.

“The candy Fabio gave us is also antidote. He has poison smoke weapon hidden. Once he activates it, I get out of car and assist him with whatever number of assailants remain.

I'll leave the door open. If everyone is caught in crossfire you must rush to town and catch a train back to England. The luggage is yours to take, there is money there and your documents.”

As he spoke Sergei passed her a gun. It was heavy and loaded, like the one she'd used in VR during the show's first season.

“Wait! What about you?! I can't leave you both for dead! You have a wife and baby! Sergei I-”

He hugged her gently. “Quiet. You are strong, little one. I've seen it. What happens to us does not matter, our mission was to retrieve you. We fulfilled it.

If I don't make it, tell my wife I'm sorry.”

With that they waited, and listened as the conversation outside resumed.

“You're not my father. You left that clear years ago.”

“Tsk, tsk. You kids are all so focused on the past. I always knew you'd return. I had high hopes for you before you became a wretched whore! But no, you had to be a disgusting embarrassment worldwide and run like a coward!”

“Though shit, I'm still a vile whore at heart and the whole world knows me for it. So unless you and your goons are here to set me up with a hottie I don't feel like sticking around.”

They heard the impact of a punch and the defiant chuckle of their friend. Fiore didn't want to imagine what he looked like after that.

“I've had years to think about what to do when you returned. I thought about cutting you up piece by piece. I thought about letting you sleep with the fishes. I thought about giving you what you so disgustingly seek out and letting all of the rougher men in the clan have a turn with you before shooting you in the head. But I am a merciful man.”

“Debatable.” Fabio joked before they could hear him being strangled.

“Quiet! You have one last chance to make the right choice. Come back home with us to the manor, resume your post, I'll arrange a marriage for you and we can forget this decade long run of yours. Or you can die here like the filth you are.”

“Never found a fucker with better aim than me? Pathetic that a faggot could outclass all of you so called gentleman.

I'd rather die today than ever be like you, Giovanni! Better gay scum than being called your successor!”

Giovanni sighed and released his grip on Fabio's neck. “Then you leave me no other choice.”

Fiore trembled, hearing the man walking away and the sound of weapons being loaded and pointed. Surely the rain of bullets wouldn't fall just to Fabio. They were all in danger.

“You have another option. Finally getting fucked over.” Fabio said before they heard the sound of glass shattering and a thick cloud of smoke covered the area. 

As expected this didn't affect them. Sergei slowly let her go and readied himself. “Showtime, stay hidden until everything's quiet and smoke dissipates. If anyone comes here, you shoot.”

Fiore wanted to argue, but the man was out of the car before she could say anything and the gunshots echoed around her. Fiore didn't want to look, she heard coughing, and gunshots, and the sound of bodies falling against the pavement.

For all her big talk during the game she never thought she'd be in a situation this dire in her real life. Fiore clung to the weapon she'd been given. The shots diminished, until they were nearly silent and the poisonous smoke vanished. 

She poked her head up, only three people remained conscious, and she nearly gasped upon hearing Fabio groan and being grabbed by his father.

The blonde was on his knees while Giovanni pressed a gun upon the side of his head. Sergei stood up, pointing his gun at the older man. She could see the bodyguard had a few scrapes and a bleeding wound upon his forehead. 

‘I have to help them…’

Fiore was grateful her two years spent on that hellscape of a school allowed her to become agile, and move so silently she would go unnoticed. With the gun in hand and a slow step she got out of the vehicle and snuck away, trying to get behind Giovanni. Only Sergei could see her, but his silver eyes lingered upon her for a mere moment before his gaze focused on his enemy, and kept her presence a secret.

“Drop the weapon, and I let him live!” Giovanni said.

“Men like you are not trusted.” Sergei said, gripping his gun tightly.

The mafia don scoffed. “Let me guess, Russian triads?”

“Nyet. Triads never gave me trouble.”

Fiore gained ground as the man was distracted and didn't even notice her. 

“Heh, something worse than triads? You look the part. I wonder…How much will they pay for you alive? Or is it best if you just chop you off and send each group a piece?”

“You must ask them. I don't count how many want me dead.”

“A pity, the both of you…Men who can take what they want, who have a natural talent for killing, and you waste it. Yet you engage in such filth! You give up on your true nature! It's sickening!”

“True nature? Shut up, you monster! Not all of us dream of blood!” Fabio said.

Giovanni's grip on him tightened and he pulled at his hair. “Because you're weak! I gave you everything you needed to succeed and you threw it away! Should've gotten rid of you like I got rid of her!”

Fabio chuckled. “Nah, you can't get rid of me you old fuck. I'm gonna avenge mama from beyond the grave and laugh as I watch the life slipping from your eyes!”

“Still as naive as always, the only one who could kill me is your friend over there, and if he does, you die too.”

“Wrong, you'll be done in by Italian blood and Italian blood only.” Sergei said with a smile.

Fiore was in position, she had readied her aim, she was sure that Giovanni would be the only one affected by it, and yet as her small fingers gripped the trigger and the shot was fired she was still trembling and terrified. 

It all happened in an instant. The gunshot echoed in the vicinity, it had hit Giovanni in the chest, and the moment he'd let go of Fabio, the stylist shoved him off onto the ground and rushed toward Fiore, kneeling down and checking her for injuries

“Are you okay?!”

“Y-yeah…Did...Did I kill him?”

Fabio glanced back and smirked.

“No, roaches don't die that easily. Go to Sergei, and keep your eyes closed.”

Fiore nodded and ran to Sergei's open arms, but she felt someone grabbing her ankle. Before she could even scream Fabio was standing up and stomped on Giovanni's throat, getting him to free her.

“Don't you dare! You're not putting your hands on any other kid ever again!” He roared.

Fiore let Sergei pick her up and pull her close to his chest, she closed her eyes and focused on his racing heartbeat.

“Fa..bri…zio…”

“I hope you reincarnate as vermin.” He spat out bitterly, and then emptied his gun on the man.

She didn't see, but each shot could be heard and was directed at him. The ricochet of the bullets was loud and metallic against the pavement, and the scent of smoke wouldn't leave the area. It wasn't until all that could be heard was the click of an empty barrel that she opened her eyes again.

Sergei gently carried her back to the car and placed her on the backseat. “I'm sorry you witnessed that, little one. I'll be right back.”

She nodded and put on her seat belt. Sergei walked over to where his friend stood motionless. 

All she could see was the trembling of the blonde man and his silent heavy sobbing, muffled by the loving hold of the Russian man.

It only lasted five minutes until they let go and headed back to the car as if nothing had happened.

Sergei got in position and closed the door. Fabio started the engine and was ready to drive away.

“Fiore.” He called out to her.

“Yes?” She said, still shaken.

“Thank you…You saved us back there.”

She hadn't been thanked, not ever, and she was still unsure of what this all meant, if her shot would've been enough to cause their attacker's demise, if her readiness to pick up a weapon and use it said anything deeper about her crumbling psyche,and yet, Fiore smiled with teary eyes.

“You're welcome.”

After that, Fabio drove away, making a point to run over Giovanni's corpse as he did so.

“You three are insane. Why?!”

“They're so good, you just refuse to read them!”

“Libithina Williams, I am not going to read alien smut!”

Riya laughed as Alec argued with her, Libby, and Amanda about a long book series they all enjoyed and Alec loathed. 

As the group exchanged sweets and tea, she found herself growing more comfortable around them. Despite everything, everyone she'd met today had been nothing but welcoming and sweet, a nice change of pace from being on high alert in LA given her onscreen persona.

“It's so good, they're so romantic and the world building is fun and it's spicy and the Sakh are so dreamy!” Amanda said, twirling her black hair.

“Mandy, you don't even like men!”

“Fictional men are the exception and they're cute!”

“They're blue, bigger than the doorframe, and presumably of incompatible anatomy!” Alec said.

“Oh, c'mon Alec, you're the sci-fi nerd of the group. Surely there's an alien character you find cute!” Riya teased.

“Finding an alien character attractive is one thing, trying to deal with incompatible anatomy is another.” He said.

“I could take em.” Libby said without a hint of shame as she reached for another cinnamon bun. “You just gotta work for it!”

“Exactly, work to take the barbarian! Or rather work him and take him yourself!” Riya joked.

“Ayeeee, Riya gets it!” Amanda said and laughed.

“You three are incorrigible!” Was all Alec said before admitting defeat and eating a cupcake.

Though even Alec couldn't deny that through the chaos of launch day during the publishing of the ‘Ice Planet Barbarians’ series he had a lot of fun stacking up the library with Libby and Jane, only for Amanda to always send them delicious food and even customers that needed specific books. In all the misery he'd dealt with these past two years, he was glad to have his friends as solace.

“Oh dear, Porscha and I leave for a moment and you're already bothering poor Alec.” Jane said.

“He keeps on thrashing the sci-fi romances!” 

“Libby, don't push him. Alec will appreciate good alien romance at his own pace.”

Laughter erupted upon the realization that the elderly bookshop owner had read and enjoyed the spicy alien books.

Alec groaned. “I give up!”

Riya was laughing so hard she almost didn't hear her phone go off. She checked on to nearly choke on a sip of black tea.

It was her father.

‘Should I answer?’ 

She just knew that this wasn't going to be a pleasant call or one to check-up on her. On the contrary, she'd be getting a second dose of what was endured before the motel departure.

‘I can't avoid them forever.’ Riya thought. 

“Excuse me.” She said as she wheeled herself outside the bakery and pressed answer.

“Hello.”

“Riya, we've seen the show. Your mother and I are deeply worried! What have the doctors said?”

“I haven't gotten a hospital checkup yet. The set medic said both my legs were broken and I'd have to follow up with a specialist when I returned home.” She admitted.

“What?! You haven't returned to California yet?! And you're trusting the word of an unqualified medic?!”

Riya flinched at the yelling, but unlike years ago she didn't move the phone away from her ear, and she spoke up.

“Marcus is a military medic that served in Vietnam, I believe a man of his caliber is more than qualified! Secondly I am not in LA, because I have other important matters to attend to! I don't have to disclose every detail of my schedule with you!”

Her father sighed in frustration and she knew she was in for a lecture. Even in her thirties she hated the disappointed tone, though it had become an expectation in regards to career and marriage discussions.

For a small blissful while it wasn't like this. When her career was peaking and growing, she'd be celebrated. She would finally be bragged about and shown off to their friends for something other than marriage offers. But that had now passed, and Riya knew her acting career was once again a hindrance and a disappointment.

“I have been patient with you, so has your mother, but you seem adamant in testing our grace. 

You got a taste of Hollywood, you can say that you made it and finally stare at your name on those credits too. But Riya, it's time to wake-up from that silly dream.

You're horribly injured and your career will likely not recover. Not to mention your disastrous break-up with Mr. Blake. Head to India at once and your mother and I can discuss suitors for you. Despite circumstances we still have good offers-”

“No.”

“Riya, I am not asking.”

Her father was the more laid-back parent. Calm, soft spoken, a revered doctor and yet that tone, that finality in his voice made her flinch. He was done. They were done…This was the final chance she had to be a dutiful daughter. 

“I am not doing it! Your approval had a hold on me when I lived with you, and maybe when I was one bad week away from being out on the streets, but not anymore!

I have my own home, car, and income. So no, I am not going back to India, and I sure as hell am not going to marry anyone you choose!”

There was a disappointed sigh on the other end. It was just like when she was a child about to be grounded. “It appears that nasty fall has injured more than just your legs, no doubt a concussion gave you head trauma. Not to worry, your mother and I shall soon fly to LA and bring you back home for treatment. I doubt anyone will argue with a licensed surgeon.”

With that he hung up. Never being one to lose, he'd told her what he planned, just so that she'd stew in paranoia and was ready to ‘apologize’ upon seeing them again. Dr. Suraj Sharma was never one to lose.

‘Well, he'll have to. I am not going to bow down. Ever.’

She put her phone away and stared at the sky. Which had already turned dark and starry. Surprisingly there were no angry tears leaving her. She'd cried enough already.

“Riya? Are you okay?” 

She glanced at Alec who had just exited the bakery. He probably saw her being disillusioned through the window.

“I…no. My father called. He is likely going to push for me to return to India. Maybe he'll even show up unexpectedly.” She confessed. “Is it to late to accept Catherine's offer to join your family?” She joked.

Riya didn't expect for Alec to bend down and hug her. “That's a given. You're more than welcome to join the Çelik family, serious and distant as we may be.”

She giggled. “You say that, but you've all been nothing but kind to me…”

He gently let go and smile. “Yes, perhaps I am biased towards the past. Coming back and seeing everyone off, it made me realize that there are people who did love and would miss me. Even if others have chosen to move on or forget.” Alec said, looking up at the starry sky. “There are countless stars in the night sky, a million or more for every person both alive and dead. We are all each other's night sky, no one is truly alone. It would've done me well to remember that long ago, but I won't forget it again. I owe that to you.”

The poetic description of the sky, loneliness and companionship was to be expected, for she knew he mentioned being a poet after she'd asked him to write the song for their concert challenge. Riya found it endearing, however the mention of herself was puzzling.

“Me? Alec, I've yet to help you.”

“No. Merely offering me and Fiore safety is enough for me to owe you my life and more.

I didn't plan to come back to the bookshop, or to see my family. I…didn't intend to do much of anything after my loss.”

She shivered as a chill overtook her following those words. Alec hadn't just attempted suicide, he would've tried again if he had not gained security thanks to her.

Riya grasped his hand, it was cold and delicate as it always had been when she held it, but this time, it wasn't a forceful grip with ulterior motives, this time she sincerely wanted to hold him.

“You…You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I know words are not enough to prove it, but in time we will all make sure you understand this, Alec Çelik.”

He smiled at her sweetly, just like that ill fated night when they kissed and she foolishly pushed him away, then they drifted further and further apart. But this time he was sober, and his eyes shone with joy rather than tears.

“I promise, I'll do anything I can to help you, even if it entails us becoming family.”

Riya smiled. “Wouldn't be a bad fate at all.” She kissed his hand and wanted to lead him back into the bakery. “Let's just enjoy the warmth before we have to go back.”

“Sure.” He said with a bashful smile.

“And Alec,”

“Yes?”

“Thank you, you're an absolute blessing.”

Riya felt his grip on her hand tighten slightly at those words.

Fiore had slept soundly for hours, but as they were soon to reach England she awoke. The little girl didn't open her eyes and instead chose to listen to the conversation, for Sergei's gentle grip on her was protective and the hushed voices of the man made her curious.

“It's good thing we had the rental fixed and things disposed off. Should burn outfits back home just to make sure.” Sergei said. “You need to stop shaking, it's over Fabi.”

“Buddhism has five cardinal sins. Commit any of those and you're guaranteed grave karma and to be denied enlightenment in the lifetime the sin was committed. Do you know what the most grave of those sins is?!

Killing one's father! And I not only did that, but relished in it so much I emptied the fucking gun on him! I should regret it, I should! And yet…I can't stop smiling at the fact that the fucking monster is finally dead!”

Fiore felt as Sergei shifted and moved to hold his friend's hand. “Fabi, I'm not buddhist but wiccan. Still, I believe Buddha is wise enough to include only good parents in the list of sins.  Giovanni fed and clothed you, like Confucian values say. But he also treated you horribly, you had to flee for your life! That isn't parent you'd be punished for killing!

And if it is as you say and you don't escape reincarnation, you can find us again for another life.”

Fabio laughed. “Perhaps I should look at it that way. Escaping Samsara wouldn't be as fulfilling as having another happy life with you all.”

“We'll be here for you.”

“Thanks, I know you will. I'm just surprised I did so with so little hesitancy.”

“Perhaps you still had some love for the man?”

“No. If I ever did love him, then said love faded years ago. I think…I think I did it more for the kiddo.”

That made her worried. ‘Am I already causing them trouble? Will they want to get rid of me too?’ She wondered.

“Fiore?”

“Yeah. I didn't want her to catch the bad karma if her shot did him in. She really saved our asses back there and she's been through enough.

We must protect her! I refuse to let the kiddo get hurt again!”

“We shall. I'm not ideal parent. But if she needs me, I will be there. The girls are both kind and sweet, they'll adore her, and I think Mr. Çelik would chose to keep her safe rather than himself if given the option.”

She wasn't sure how true that was, but with how she'd been cared for today, Fiore had no reasons to doubt it. Sleep began to overtake her again, so for the last hour of the train ride she let herself rest and remain protected.

Meanwhile in London everything was ready for the others arrival, everything other than a goodbye Alec thought wouldn't hurt as much.

Mandy and Libby had held their tears until they were at the airport. The girls said their goodbyes in between loving hugs and gave them bags of baked treats.

“We shall miss you. Call often!” Amanda said.

“It's gonna be a pain in the ass to find a replacement for ya.” Libby told him with one final crushing bear hug. “Take good care of him, everyone. It's been a delight to meet you! Please visit us whenever you want!”

The girls smiled and also hugged Libby. In the meantime he felt Jane pull him aside for a moment.

“I noticed you returned the book you borrowed to Libby. How was it?”

Oh that. He'd chosen to read one final book, back when he thought his mess of a life was over, and before that All-Stars call saved him. Libithina had provided him with a copy of ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’ by Gabriel Garcia Márquez in its original Spanish language. Not even the change of language could help him focus and finish the book quickly, still he had enjoyed it.

“It was a somber reading but I loved it.”

“That's good to hear, because I have a little parting gift for you.” She said lovingly. From her purse she retrieved a book. It was another one by Gabriel Garcia Márquez.

“Love in a time of Cholera?”

“I figured you had enough of the tragedies, maybe let yourself be comforted by romance and hope.”

Oh she had no idea. Alec took the book in his hands smiled, giving the elderly woman a gentle hug. “Thank you, for everything. I don't know what would've been of me if you hadn't helped me.”

“That's what we're here for lad. Don't be a stranger, I shall miss you.”

Jane gave Porscha a hug too, gently patting her belly and asking to please see pictures of the baby once he was born. With Riya she took her hands and kissed them lovingly, just like a grandmother would. “Do take care, darling. I'll be praying for your recovery and joy.”

“Thank you.”

Eventually it was time to part, and Alec glanced behind at the trio as they headed for the terminal.

“It was just a day for me, but I already feel like I'll miss them.” Riya said.

Alec smiled. “They're lovable like that. I'm sure they're thrilled their favorite actress is taken with them.”

He expected her to flip her hair and say something akin to ‘Of course they do! I'm the best!’ Instead Riya smiled melancholically. “It's good to hear I am still someone's favorite.”

“That won't change. There will always be people who love and understand you.” Porscha said as she gently patted Riya's head. “Let's go, the boys are already boarding up the jet.”

As predicted, the group from Italy arrived. He didn't expect to see Fabio bruised or Sergei with a bandage upon his forehad.

“Blood?”

“Not ours, just bruises. You can check us on jet. Fiore pulled through for us and I insist we reward her.” Sergei said with a wicked smile.

Fiore chuckled. “I have good aim!”

Porscha picked her up. “Then we shall reward ya! Let's get on the jet everyone, it's time to go home!”

Boarding a private plane was mercifully quick rather than dealing with lines and other passengers.

Per Porscha's request, the boys stayed in the cockpit and while Sergei piloted she checked them for bruises and injuries.

Riya had fallen asleep fairly quickly, still emotionally drained and getting used to her new physicality. That left him and Fiore awake to talk.

“You look shaky. Are you certain you're not hurt?” He asked.

Fiore glanced up at him on the dimly lit plane. “I'm not. I didn't get hit or shot. I was just confused and then scared. Sergei and Fabio took good care of me…”

“I see, but then, why are you upset?” He asked.

Fiore didn't want to face him, she wasn't sure if she could take another parental rejection. “This wasn't like the zombie VR challenge. This was real! I really shot someone! If Fabio hadn't shot him too then…then I would've been the one to kill him.

Alec, I have it in me to kill! I proved my mother right!”

She didn't expect to be pulled into a hug. Fiore couldn't even bring herself to cry, she just held on tightly back.

Alec gently ran his fingers through her hair. “Don't ever say that. Okay? Ever.

You are not a monster. You're not even wrong for what you did! Fiore, it was self defense! You all ended up in a situation where you couldn't have escaped alive without violence! Had I been in your shoes I would've done the same!

Sure there might be hesitancy and regret but you did what had to be done. The three of you are safe and I don't think any less of you for this. I'm proud of you for being able to stay calm in such a terrifying moment. You're very strong for that.”

“You mean it?”

“I do. You don't have to worry. Nothing will ever make me abandon you.”

With that she did silently cry, as she fell asleep in his comforting grasp.

Alec took a while longer to fall asleep. He was surprised that in only two days his life had taken such a turn. 

His plans after camp were to return to London, have one last binge, and end his pathetic existence. The only thing holding him back from it was securing Fiore's well-being. Now, he didn't have to worry for her, as she was in their custody. He didn't have to worry for himself, as he was on his way to recovery. Thanks to this farewell trip he'd been shown that those he once believed would go on as usual without him would actually genuinely grieve and miss him. He owed it all to a certain starlet.

Alec glanced back at Riya, who slept soundly laid upon the long seat by the window letting the moonlight shine on her pretty sleeping face.

‘I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you for this.’

He knew she did this as a debt, to thank him for saving her, but after today there seemed to be more than that, a certain care for him that he didn't think she'd have, at least not after the game tore them to shreds. 

Alec decided to not ponder it too much and let sleep take him. There'd be time to talk and repay debts tomorrow. 

A tomorrow that he once thought he'd never see.

42 hours of travel and strife since the finale had been worth it just to see her lovely home as Fabio parked on the driveway.

“We're here at last!”

“Could've been here 2 hours ago if you let me drive.” Porscha protested.

“No dice, Mia Cara. You drive like you're in an action movie and we have a child on board!” 

Riya chuckled, as Sergei carried her and placed her on her chair. She noticed that her porch had a ramp added.

“Whoa, Reynold works fast!” She said.

“Wait until you see the rest.” Porscha said as she stepped out of the bus. 

Everyone soon exited the bus and she took note of Alec and Fiore's reactions. The little girl was in awe of the big mansion. So was Alec though he was certainly more subdued.

“You weren't kidding when you said you had room to spare.” He joked.

“Seven bedrooms, four bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, a studio room, and a pool with terrace. It's a bit much for one person, but I am glad it'll come in handy now.”

The group opened up the main door and were surprised to see the changes. One of the long staircases at the foyer had been replaced by a ramp. It still looked as elegantly built and in the middle of the wide foyer stood a sleepy but smiling Reynold.

He looked more approachable out of a suit and in construction clothing, thought slightly older rather than in his early forties. Perhaps it was the graying black hair or the fact that he'd been working on this for quite a while.

Reynold smiled upon seeing the group. “Welcome everyone! Sorry if it smells like marble and cement, I began construction after the finale but if things go well everything will be usable and dry by the time you wake up tomorrow.”

“It's so good to see you! The ramp looks great!” She said.

“Glad you think so! Most bathrooms were already adapted except the main one, but that was easy to do, had it all set up in like six hours. I hope it helps.” He kneeled down in front of Riya and took her hands. “How are you?”

“Better than when it happened. Don't worry too much.”

“Dearest, it's my job to worry!” He joked, still sweetly caressed her hands. “Need you to rest up. There's a lot to discuss tomorrow.”

“That bad?” Riya asked, concerned.

“Not bad…Difficult.”

She sighed. As if everything since that fall hadn't been difficult. Perhaps she'd have to get used to hardship.

‘Wouldn't be the first time.’

Show me how it ends, it's alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
Satisfied and empty inside
Well that's alright 
Let's give this another try
It's alright…

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Leave no Trace of Evidence

I am losing you again
Let me out and let me in!
Cause you're not alone here
Not at all
Let me belong here
Break my fall!

He woke up to confusion, and a commotion downstairs. Alec wasn't sure where he was at first until he glanced out the window. ‘You're in Riya's mansion. This is your new room.’

It was still unbelievable to him that he was in a comfortable room, alive, and cared for rather than going wherever the dead and wicked went. But that was something to ponder later. For now, he rushed downstairs to try and put a stop to whatever conflict was brewing.

From the top of the staircase he could hear Porscha and Reynold's voices. 

“You're giving up on her just like that?!” Porscha roared.

“I am not! But you have to admit that the last thing on her mind should be getting new roles! You were a nurse, you know the severity of the situation! Hell, it might be worse than expected if the doctors find more injuries!” Reynold argued.

“Guys please, we need to calm down.” Fabio pleaded.

Only Sergei noticed his arrival in the living room as the argument continued.

“That's not the point! She wants to keep acting! It's our job to make sure she's able to! You're going to drop her as if she hasn't put you on the map!”

“I'm not dropping her, Porscha! I am merely saying that her roles will diminish temporarily no matter what we do! She won't need me for a while, you should take over as her primary agent!”

“I'm giving birth any day now, jackass! I can't do this without you! If you abandon her now, we will never forgive you!”

“I'm not abandoning anyone, but you're making it quite tempting!”

Before another word could be spoke he saw Fabio rise from his sofa and shout “That's enough!”

As Fiore had told him, it was a shock to see such a carefree man suddenly turn livid. For a split second he could see the former mafia persona emerge.

The blonde turned toward Porscha who angrily sat down on the loveseat and crossed her arms.

“You don't get to say that to Rey! The man's been working non stop to make the house accessible to Riya at no cost! That's the furthest thing from abandonment if I may say so!

Like it or not he has a point. Riya will have to pass on some roles as she recovers both emotionally and physically, and if her work dwindles then just one agent can handle it. Since you're going on parental leave soon I am willing to pick up the slack if needed. You're not doing this alone, babygirl.”

Fabio finished gently, before turning towards Reynold.The agent looked surprised he was being addressed too.

“This isn't the kinda news you give us before we can even fully wake up! And I expected more from you than to run when things get tough!

You don't want to deal with the hard shit, that's fine, but don't think you can waltz back in when the dust settles and act as if you didn't walk away first!  

Look, I know Riya isn't your only client. That's the whole reason Porscha is primarily in charge of her alone and you take care of larger roles. But this goes beyond your professional relationships with us. We are all friends, family even, and if you can't be bothered to at least call your family through a tough time then don't be surprised they cut you off. 

We care about you Rey, all of us. And if you need us then we will be there for you, but you have to be here too. Otherwise, you should go talk to Riri when she gets up. 

Now both of you, stay quiet while I cook us something.”

“No need, I'm leaving.” Reynold said camly before adjusting his suit. “For the record, the reason I suggested you took over was because I believe you have what it takes to do so. I trust you to do well, better than me even.

Maybe I was too blinded by affection to see that you still have a long way to go in this industry.”

With that he walked away, Alec stepped aside and let him pass, along with Sergei who went after the man. 

Porscha was between wanting to rage and cry, and while he wasn't good at providing comfort, Alec did sit by her side and let her hug him. “It'll be okay. I can help you too.”

“You shouldn't have to. You're here to heal, Alec! Not to get burdened!”

“It's no burden at all. If we're all here then we shall all pull our weight.”

Fabio smiled. “Handsome nerd is right! We will all help each other through this. Now, let me cook us all a big tasty breakfast and we can plan.”

As held onto his new friend Alec hoped that the girls didn't hear the commotion upstairs. Much more Riya, who had been terrified enough by this possibility that she nearly took her own life.

‘Her fears are already materializing.’

“Spare me a lecture.”

Like him, Reynold had learned to sense who was behind him without having to turn around. Sergei remained calm, even if he too had been angered by the argument that just took place.

“Not here for that. I'm here to make sure you don't end up doing something you'll regret.” He said. 

Reynold clung to his keys, not taking another step towards his car. “I don't want it to be this way, but it is. You can't cover the sun with your hand! Riya is going to be in a wheelchair for months, add onto that the much needed physical therapy and there's little to be done!

Be realistic! What action studio will hire her? Which of her shows will give up everything to accommodate her? How's she going to escape the paparazzi when they inevitably swarm her to appease the public that cries for her punishment?! It's a loss cause. You need to understand that, even if you don't want it to be.”

“I understand that. This is uphill battle, we might not win…”

“Then why are you enraged at me for pointing it out?!”

Silver glanced at blue, with more sadness than rage. “Because the fight hasn't started, and you already given up.

I know little of Hollywood. Been here for around seven years, but it still baffles me. I've seen people of worst caliber with less support and resources than Riya get back up. Yet you…You who are older and wiser than me think this is a loss before we even started?

Feels like a betrayal, Reynold. And we both know I am intimately familiar with betrayal, so much so that merely removing my shirt will show you proof of it.”

“I am not betraying you!”

“Aren't you? Soon we'll fall silent, you'll drive away, to clients who make you millions and keep you at top of agent's lists. You won't be setting foot here again until Riya is out of that chair and ready to sway, jump, and dance again. Only when cured you'll put her on your schedule.

She needs us all now more than ever. She needs friends here, because her family will fight to pry her away, because many others will turn her back on her, because the idiot she loved had that shit eating grin on his face when he saw her bruised and broken! If you do not support her now, you shall lose her forever!

Want to prove me wrong? Have decency to call and check up on her at least! Otherwise, forget we exist. Because I know that not even Fabio will forgive you.”

“Don't-”

He raised a pale hand. “You know I'm right. That is all I came to tell you. Choose at your discretion.”

The taller man walked back inside, not sparing a glance as he heard Reynold leave. He glanced at the top of the staircase and ramp and saw Riya. 

“You need help?” He called out, ready to go push her.

“No! Let me try and go down the ramp on my own.”

She did, slightly wobbly and slowly but she wheeled herself down. Sergei smiled at the scene.

“Very good! We will get you new chair, one more suited to you!”

Riya laughed. “You're all taking such good care of me, I can't thank you enough.”

“That's what family’s for.” Sergei responded as he helped push her to the kitchen.

“Did Reynold leave? I heard the lambo when I was waking up.” She asked.

“He did. I think he needs time alone.”

He got them to the kitchen and dining room where Fabio had already made a pot of scrambled eggs and bacon. Porscha laid a tray of toast on the table and to his surprise Alec was flipping pancakes.

“Master chef auditions?” Riya jokes.

“We'd have to call Miriam.” Alec joked as he retrieved a jar of orange juice from the fridge. “Take a seat. We'll be done soon.”

Sergei made sure to properly place Riya on her seat and see her comfortable before helping to serve. Everyone had what they wanted and were seated quickly.

Beside him was his beloved wife. He held her hand and smiled at her. ‘You okay?’ He mouthed in Russian. 

Despite still being upset at the fight, Porscha managed to smile at him and nod, before focusing her attention on her breakfast. 

He had noticed that the third trimester had been kinder with the morning sickness, even if she now had to wobble and give up heeled shoes due to her slight swelling. Ah, but it was worth it, she said, because they both knew who would soon join them.

‘Do come soon, little one. We are eager for your arrival.’

The group ate quietly, Fabio glanced at the clock halfway through the meal. “Should wake up Fiore soon, don't want the kiddo to oversleep.”

“She could still be jet lagged. Let her have half an hour more.” Porscha said. “Truth is, we all need to have a serious talk soon.”

“Why so?” Riya asked.

“Plans have changed…”

He shuddered at the words. They were similar to one's he'd heard seemingly a lifetime ago.

Laid on the snow bleeding and screaming as he was betrayed he could only ask why? Why did the person he trusted the most in the world do this to him?!

“Plans have changed.” Was all he said. “You were going to abandon us. No one leaves, not alive at least. You could say I'm doing you a favor. I'm giving you what you wanted.”

He didn't want to recall the rest. So he just focused on his food, on his beloved wife who bore his son, on his friends and on the safety he'd craved for decades before defying fate to achieve it. Sergei wouldn't let it slip away this easily. Whatever he had to do to keep everyone safe, would be done without complaint.

Perhaps he still had a bit of Siberia left in him.

Fiore didn't expect such a nice wake up. Riya gently shook her awake and smiled. “Good morning! Breakfast is ready for you downstairs!”

“Good morning.”

“How'd you sleep? Was the room cozy?”

“I slept well. It's really nice, it's just gonna take me a while to get used to.”

Her room was big, a nice bed was awaiting her, along with a closet, a vanity and shelves for toys and books nailed to the wall. It was empty now, only the nice light purple of the walls and the furniture were there. Fiore had only brought what she took upon escaping the boarding school.

“Well, we can put your things away and make it more homely if you'd like.”

“I didn't bring much, just some clothes. I didn't want to take anything they'd bought for me. Maybe it was a dumb choice, sorry.”

Riya's face softened. “Not at all. I understand wanting to leave it all behind for a new life. Don't worry, we can go shopping soon and you can pick out all the things you like!”

Fiore smiled. “You're too nice.”

“On the contrary, I do believe I owe you this at the very least. I'm sorry for not helping you when we were in the game.”

Apologies, they were never given, not to her. Fiore was taken aback but happy.

“That's okay. You did try to help me win comebacks and you're letting me and Alec be here with you now. Thank you for that.”

“You're most welcome. You're both good company. I'm gonna go get ready for the day but Alec insisted on eating with you before getting ready. I'll see you in a bit, okay?”

Fiore nodded and saw her go. This Riya was so very different from the one she'd met onscreen. Was it because of her condition? Or was she always sweet off camera and she just hadn't had a chance to see her this way?

‘Maybe there's a reason Alec is so smitten.’

With a shrug she got out of bed and took her clothes, ready for a bath before dressing up and getting downstairs. 

As promised Alec was waiting for her, serving a plate of the hot food and a glass of orange juice.

“Good morning, slept well?”

She nodded. “Yeah, you?”

“Like a baby. Riya said she wants us to shop and redecorate once we eat and settle in. Are you interested?”

“Might as well fill up the room with something.” She said, taking a bite of the warm food and humming in delight. “I could get used to this…” She muttered. 

Alec smiled as he directed his attention to the newspaper and read while keeping her company. Fiore finished breakfast and brushed her teeth. On her way down the upstairs halls she located where the other bathrooms and rooms were. Most of them were closed but she could see Riya's room painted dark blue and decorated elegantly, along with a glimpse at the green colored room the Romanovs had stayed in.

Downstairs there were other bathrooms, along with the studio room Riya had mentioned, and to the back of the house was the terrace and pool. She'd check it out later, though merely looking at it from here tempted her to make a cannonball.

‘Later. I need to go shopping.’

Everyone was at the foyer getting ready to leave, Fiore was puzzled when Porscha bent down and put a headband on her.

“What's this for?” She asked. 

“The design makes it so that if someone takes your photograph it's blurry. I don't think paparazzi will chase us today but you can never be sure.”

She really did think of everything. Fiore had grown curious about Riya's staff after yesterday's debacle. Fabio she now knew had been part of the mafia, Sergei she wasn't quite sure but the man knew how to handle weapons and even sneak them through airport security, but Porscha she was seemingly calm and overly organized.

‘Well, people aren't always what you expect.’

She too had pretended to be an adorable helpless child and that once nearly led her to victory. Maybe Porscha was the same way, but she was genuinely kind despite her secrets.

Despite Porscha's protests her husband was the one to drive them downtown to get clothes and supplies. Fiore wasn't used to choosing her items, as her parents fulfilled their obligations to supply her with clothes, food, and toys, but didn't care to learn her preferences. She decided to ignore the past and just focus on what she had now. Upon arrival at the stores the group gathered. “Alright, who's going where?”

“I can go with Alec and Fiore for clothes shopping. You'd be with us?” Riya asked.

“I'd be on the baby section with Sergei but we'd be in proximity. Fabi,what about you?”

“I can get decor. If that's okay with everyone.”

“Gotcha. Then we'll meet up in the food court for lunch! Let's go, everyone!”

She noticed Alec held her hand protectively. Sure the man knew she wouldn't get lost and even if it happened Fiore was capable of handling herself, but it was nice to be held either way.

Riya quickly led them to the clothing outlets and checked everything. “Alec, are you okay with vests again?”

“I haven't worn them in a while but I should really do so. The ones I had were ruined.”

“Spilled wine on them?” Fiore joked.

Alec chuckled. “Whiskey actually.”

She was joking, she didn't even think it was that bad…No wait it was. Because he was thinner, sadder, and looked like he hadn't slept well until now. ‘You better recover. You have to…’

“Then pick out some vests and shirts, I'll be with Fiore in the girls area. Let's go sweetie.”

She followed Riya, who seemed to be handling herself well in a wheelchair all things considered. ‘Maybe I underestimated her in the game.’ Fiore mused. Truth be told, she didn't think the actress would make the finale again. No one really did, but upon spending time with her Fiore could get the notion this woman was built to make it far in any game.

“Here we are! What's your size, Fiore?”

“I uh…I'm not sure. My parents bought the clothes and didn't tell me. I think I'm Medium.”

“Okay. Not to worry, we can check. Now, what would you like? There are dresses, some jeans, shirts, if you want new pajamas or a swimsuit we can get that too.”

Fiore quickly grew worried. “That's too much. I can't make you spend that much!”

Riya gently took her hands. “Nothing is too much when it comes to you. Okay? I want to get you everything you need and want. So, pick out whatever you like and then go try it on. Really Fiore, I'm happy to be doing this for you. I should've tried to do so from the start.”

“It wasn't your responsibility.”

“No, it should've been all of our responsibilities after seeing that school. We all should've helped you, no questions asked. I can't speak for everyone else, but Alec and I will do everything in our hands to care for you.”

“Thanks.”

She was less hesitant to pick out clothes now. Practicality suited her best, so she chose overalls, jeans, pants, and a couple of cute skirts. Shirts were easy as the warm LA climate could be dealt with with tshirts and sundresses. Riya got her casual shoes, a pair of elegant Mary janes and a pick of two elegant dresses.

“They're both pretty. I like the yellow one best!”

“Then yellow it is! I noticed you tend to like that color. Is it your favorite?”

“I think so? I never considered it…”

Yet another question normal happy kids could answer and she hesitated. Go on, ask her to recite from the psychology books Alec lent on season one, ask her to strategize against an enemy, or make a defense for a debate, but if you ask her what dolls she likes or her favorite cartoon she'll freeze up and not know what to say, not even as a lie.

“Yellow is a good choice. It's the color of gold and it's eye-catching, the artist Van Gogh believed it was the color of happiness.”

“Didn't he eat yellow paint?”

Riya laughed. “He did. There's no denying he was troubled and required the help he got, but the yellow paint thing always stuck with me. It was an oddity, certainly not what he should've done, but he did it because it made him happy. So you have to do what makes you happy, no matter what anyone else thinks.”

“That's a good way to look at it. I want to try on the clothes, are you trying something on too?”

“Not for now. Given my state, its likely my weight will change while I'm wheelchair bound. So I'll refrain from buying clothes for the time being.”

Smart. She could see why Riya was financially well off despite her fame being relatively new. Then again, Riya's staff also seemed like the type to give good direction, even if they were chaotic.

Fiore went into the changing room and tried on everything, often going out and showing the outfits to Riya, who smiled at her and even pointed out what accessories they could add. 

Clothing was something she associated with Ellie, but Riya had a nice sense of style too. ‘Oh that's right. I can contact her…I can contact them now.’

Even days after the fact, it hadn't sunk in that she was free from that hellish school. She could try to message the other contestants she missed. Even if she wasn't sure if they'd answer back. The one she missed most was at least here with her.

“How was everything?” Riya asked as Alec joined them.

“Seems I've gone down a size but otherwise everything fit well.”

“Great! Then all that's left is to get you a suit!” Riya said.

Alec raised an eyebrow. “A suit?”

“Sure. You look great in casual clothes but for job interviews and fancy events you need to pour out the black tie charm.”

“Fair enough. Then I'll let you choose, you have better taste in fine fashion.” Alec said.

The slight smile on his lips and Riya's smirk at the compliment didn't go unnoticed by her. ‘Hopeless nerds.’ She thought. 

Before heading back to the changing room Fiore addressed Riya. “Pick one with a tie so you can pull on it and kiss him.” She whispered.

“Fiore!”

The little girl walked away laughing, As she saw a puzzled Alec glance at her and then at Riya. “What did she say?”

“Nothing! Just fashion suggestions!” Riya muttered.

Sure. She could call it that, but they both knew what she meant.

Once their new wardrobe was bought and taken to the van the trio headed for the baby clothes section. Fiore smiled at the scene before them.

Porscha excitedly showed her husband the baby outfits she liked. Sergei stood still with his arms crossed but one look at his face and one could see a loving smile upon it, as he hung onto every word and offered commentary of his own.

It was an adorable scene, even if a part of her felt jealous. Fiore knew for a fact that something like this wouldn't have happened for her, or maybe it did, only to be met with disappointment when she stopped being a cute newborn. 

She pushed the thought aside when she saw Porscha wince and cling to her bump, Sergei helped her up and hugged her. They all rushed toward her.

“Are you okay? Was it a contraction?!” Riya asked.

“No, no! It was just a hard kick. Sergio here is eager for his due date.”

Fiore smiled upon seeing the agent calm down. The woman noticed her curiosity. “Want to feel the baby kick?”

“Is it okay? Doesn't it hurt?”

“No sweetie, it's like a poke. Just put your hand on the bump, I can feel him move.”

She did as told and quickly felt the movement, along with a tiny kick. It was odd but cute. She hadn't expected it.

“We should go pay for the clothes and head out. A certain someone is a foodie like his daddy and now wants lunch after his tiresome routine.”

Sergei placed a kiss atop his wife's head. “My heart, he is energetic like you. Worry not, I can carry you if needed.”

‘Sappy fools, to think he was so scary yesterday taking down mobsters.’ Fiore found the change jarring but not unwelcome, not when Sergei was extremely gentle with all of them despite his looks and abilities.

The group headed for the food court, and again Alec held her hand to keep her nearby. On the way they passed a toy store, with a display of plushies.

She gazed at it and would've kept on walking if Riya didn't immediately stop and pulled Porscha's sleeve. “We'll catch up. Save us a table.”

With that settled she motioned for Alec and Fiore to follow her into the toy store. Once in she addressed the child. “Which one do you like best? I'll buy it for you.”

“You don't have to, you already spent a lot on my clothes!”

Riya gently took her hand. “Hey, I've already told you I do not mind spending on your needs. It's okay, I want to spoil you!”

Fiore smiled. “Parenting books should warn you against this.”

“Then it's a good thing I don't read those. Now come on, pick whatever you like.”

Whatever she liked, it was such a good offer, had she known what she actually liked in terms of toys. Fiore opted to go for something simple and pointed to a big teddy bear with a bowtie on the window display. “Can I get that one?”

“Of course! Let me ask an employee to bring it.”

While the actress wheeled herself to the register, Fiore saw Alec at the tabletop display. He had a nostalgic smile on his face and heard her approach.

“I used to paint so many minis when I was your age. I didn't think they'd still be made to this day.” He mentioned.

Oh yes, it made sense to imagine Alec as the nerdy little boy who painted D&D minis on the regular. Fiore smiled. “We can paint these together…if you want.”

“I'd love that.”

So she picked up a set, it had a lich king, his army and a sorceress. Fiore also grabbed another box, one from the nearby doll aisle. She knew Riya might like that one.

The little girl and Alec headed for the register where Riya had gotten the big plushie. “Riya, can I also get this?” She asked.

The actress didn't even question her and just grabbed the two boxes. She giggled at the set of minis and put them on the counter, then she lingered on the second box. It was a beautiful doll, with henna on her arms, a long black braid, jewelry, and a red saree adorned with gold edges and print.

“I used to play with dolls like these, I pretended they were my co-stars.” Riya admitted with a nostalgic smile.

“We can play together then.” Fiore suggested.

“I'd love that.”

With her toys paid for and bagged the group finally made it to the food court. Their friends had saved them a table.

“We were thinking pizza, unless you guys would rather not.” Fabio said, glancing at Alec and Riya. 

The pair rolled their eyes. “That reward was weeks ago. Besides, I got Alec to try the pineapple one.”

Alec sighed. “Yes, and it was indeed good. But for now I'm sticking with the regular.”

Porscha chuckled. “Okay, anything but a Chicago style pizza or Fabio will rant for two hours.”

“That travesty is not a pizza! You steal it from us but do such things as add pineapple or make it a pie with sauce on top! The disrespect! Fiore, back me up on this!”

She had to laugh at her fellow Italian's exaggerated rant, which only enhanced his accent and quirky personality. 

Thankfully the pizza debacle ended there and they got a supreme one. After a nice lunch the group headed home.

Fiore rushed to her room with the toys. She was quick to place the teddy bear and doll on the bed while putting the set of minis on her vanity to paint later.

“Knock, knock! May I come in? I'm bearing gifts of decor.” Fabio asked as he stood by the doorway.

“You can come in. No need to knock, door's open.”

“Mayhaps little one but this is your room. I am of the belief one's space is sacred. Anyway, I got some nice decor for my room but wanted you to have the first pick of the bunch.”

“Thanks.”

She was happy with her room as it was, but did pick some nice flower shaped mirrors, a tiny cacti for her nightstand and a cute music box that suspiciously had her name engraved. Though her fellow Italian had ‘no idea' when he chose the trinket. Right.

“Flowers for the ‘Fiore’. It's fitting.”

“I like plants.”

“If Reynold didn't bail I shall ask him to make a flower bed for your window. You can grow plants there.”

“That sounds nice…I did hear some yelling this morning. Was that Reynold?”

She noticed Fabio leaning against the wall and looking dejected. “He and Porscha argued. I don't know if he'll help us with the current situation or if he'll even keep Riya in his client roster. Handsome jerk, needed a stern talking to. I just hope he doesn't betray us… It would break Riri.”

“Only her?” She asked, knowing the answer just from the dull gaze of those usually sparkly eyes.

“No. Not just her.”

Fiore nodded. “Sorry about yesterday. You shouldn't have had to make the kill shot.”

Fabio's sad demeanor quickly turned protective. “No. Don't ever apologize for that kiddo. This wasn't your monster to vanquish and if not for you, I'd be rotting to let Sergei escape or I'd be getting tortured by that madman.

I'll be over it in time. Besides, I don't want any bad karma to touch you.”

Fiore was still happy yet a small part of her chest did tighten with sadness at those words. “You're all so good to me. It's…nice. But I don't even know how to respond.”

“Respond in any way you see fit. It's alright to be hesitant, we gotcha.” Fabio said as he offered her his hand and she took it. “Let's organize your closet before the meeting.”

“Meeting?”

“Yes dear. There's a lot to discuss.”

Alec didn't expect them all to sit down at the dining room after putting away their things and decorating. But Porscha looked concerned, and even if he'd only known the group for a couple of days, he could tell this was urgent. 

“Okay we're all here.” She said as he arrived, sitting beside Riya and Fiore. “I want to be quick but this is a heavy subject and we can't afford to cut corners with the planning.”

“What is it?” Riya asked.

“The matter of your image, Alec's status as a citizen and Fiore's custody.”

Ha raised an eyebrow. “Those are three different matters.”

“Yes, you'd think so. However, given the specific set of circumstances between you three, I believe all of these matters can be settled with the plan I shall propose. However, that all depends on what you all chose.”

Everyone nodded. Curious as to what she suggested and why. 

“Right. Okay, so first off our beloved little darling. Fiore, it is no secret that we all appreciate you deeply and would be happy to adopt you, but that's easier said than done. Fabio here is an openly gay man, and single at the moment. Given next year we might have a disastrous election and turn into the kakistocracy of the century, it might be best if a different person takes you in. Sergei and I would be honored to have you as our daughter, but the fact that we have a baby on the way could be used against us, as agencies will assume we just want to parentify you and use you as an extra pair of hands with the baby. That leaves Riya and Alec.”

“I'd be more than happy to adopt Fiore!” Riya said.

“I'd be as well, but how can we do that if we're not a married couple?” He asked.

Porscha's gaze told him everything he needed to know. Riya and Fiore understood as well.

“What?! But…how?! Is there no other way?!” Riya asked.

“I don't propose this merely for our dear Fiore, but for you two as well. Alec, this is the quickest way for you to get citizenship. Sergei and I did so all the way back in 2016 before we genuinely wished to be a couple. It does not need to be a permanent union. Just two years for you to get permanent citizenship.

As for you babygirl, you told me your family is adamant on bringing you back home. With your father being a doctor and a damn good one, he could very well try to use his knowledge and find a way to get back control over you. If you're married however, medical power of attorney is not his but your husband's. And I have a feeling Mr. Çelik would be more than happy to abide by your choices.

Add onto that the fact that this new season won't be good for any of you in terms of public favorability. If you get married, a couple who overcame sadness, pain and strain finally getting their desired ending and taking in the child they both care for and love and my darlings I can spin this into sainthood and tenderness until you're sick of the praise.

So, what do you all think?”

It was the perfect plan. Fiore would be safely adopted by them, he'd have secure citizenship, and Riya would be free to pursue her career and even bounce back from whatever bad press the season garnered her.

Still, it had some problems in the long term. He wasn't sure she'd want to stay married to him after the two years for permanent citizenship were up. A divorce could complicate things in terms of Fiore's adoption, and it could damage Riya's reputation too.

Was the reward worth the risk? Could he ever tear her out of his heart if they wedded, even for convenience sake? Was this the family Fiore wanted after escaping a fractured unit? Alec wasn't sure.

Fiore was certain of it. She'd go with whoever wanted her, and if every day was like today, when she could feel the warmth and love of people who didn't need her to change and make herself less then she would agree to this plan. But this wasn't her choice to make. It was up to Alec and Riya and she could see both pros and cons for them both should they go through with it. She just hoped that unlike her biological parents the pair would choose her. ‘Please…’

Riya felt her heart racing in her chest. This was a life changing choice to make, funny how lately she'd been thrust into making so many. There was merit to putting her life in Alec's hands. For despite all that happened between them, the man had saved her and gently held her even if she was a thorny rose. She trusted him to protect her, to play the part and to find joy in this, as she was certain she would.

Still, she felt like all she'd done until now was take, and take, and again take. Not just from Alec but from everyone else. She was to be tended to in her state by loving staff who no doubt would be better off focusing on their own businesses. She let Alec comfort her repeatedly, when she had once brushed away his concerns and even poisoned their bond further with a wicked kiss. Her friends should be preparing for the arrival of their newborn rather than fussing over her. Hell, she hadn't even been able to speak to Fabio about his final confrontation with Giovanni! 

What did she bring to this union?! Love?! Please, at this point she was too busted to properly love! Money? It wouldn't be needed if Alec had been the one to rightfully reach the finale! Help? There were so many others who should've helped Alec and Fiore, the first one being the man that now thinks of her as worthy of death. Citizenship, custody? Legality was a pain, especially now, but any good lawyer could pull them through!

What good was this for anyone other than her?! What could she offer other than venom?!

Her thoughts were interrupted by a cold hand holding hers. Alec looked at her with softness, just as he did before they broke apart with a kiss.

“I'll do it.” He said. “It'd be my honor to have Riya for a wife and Fiore for a daughter. If this is what we must do to pull through then I shall. 

But I apologize for the inconvenience it may cause for you both to have me bound to you.”

“What?!” He didn't expect the little girl to protest. “Don't say that! Being bound to you…it would be nothing but positive.”

Riya placed her hand over his, warm and soft. “I agree with our daughter. You're a blessing, and if you'll have this wicked woman, then yes. I'll do this for you both.”

“Don't say it as if your wickedness wasn't lovable.”

She smiled. Ever the poet, Alec seemed adamant in keeping her off the precipice with his adoration. Fiore looked at her too with sparkly eyes.

“I'd be happy to have you both as parents. I want this too.”

“Then it's settled.” Porscha said. “I'll begin preparations, we can fly to Nevada in a week and have it done there. In the meantime, we can get everything ready and pique the attention of the public by faking secrecy.”

He wasn't ever going to understand Hollywood logic, only that Porscha was good at using it for her own advantage.

“We have another matter to discuss. Therapy.” Sergei said. “Alec, if it is fine with you, we have a good rehab program that can be done remotely, but if you prefer on site then it can be done.”

“I'll take the remote option. If I need to intercede for Riya I can't be elsewhere, beside you mentioned the ‘fooling the media’ part of the plan.”

Fabio chuckled. “Sexy nerd learns fast! Okay then that leaves you babygirl. We'll arrange for domiciliary therapy visits soon.”

“Me?” Riya asked. “C'mon I don't need therapy!”

Riya remained silent after everyone on the table glared at her. “Honey, don't lie. I bandaged up your wrists…I know well that you need help. Unfortunately none of us can give it to ya. So therapy it is.”

Yes yes, her dear agent should be called her older sister for such protectiveness. Though Riya wouldn't say she didn't appreciate it.

“Okay…Just make sure the media doesn't find out. I don't want them to use this against me.”

“You have my word.”

“To conclude, I think you can tell Reynold isn't here. He left before you woke up.”

“I heard…It's fine.” She admitted.

Alec knew he wasn't the only one who heard the heartbreak in her voice.

“No, it is not. You've been Reynold's most profitable and kindest client, and I say that as someone who worked by his side before you joined us. Giving up on you like that was downright disrespectful!” Porscha said.

“Was it? He knows well that getting jobs for me during recovery will be an uphill battle, and who's to say the public will want me even if I walk again! Right now my best bet will be voice acting or minor roles. Gain from that is less than the effort made. He was just cutting losses.

I just wish I'd gotten to say goodbye.”

“I'll tear him a new one for that. Don't you worry.” Fabio promised with a mischievous smile.

“Well…then I guess we have our plans ready for the week. I'll get everything sorted tomorrow, family. For now, let me get started on dinner.”

Riya was about to offer to cook but remembered that even that would be a struggle to do in her position. She also noticed neither her nor Alec had let go of one another.

Fiore smirked at that. ‘So hopeless.’ She thought, still she was so happy to have them. The mere fact that they chose her willingly, meant they were leagues above what she was used to.

Alec was still uncertain over his situation. Getting married again, this time around for false pretenses wasn't something he'd be proud of, but if it meant keeping Fiore safe, and keeping Riya in the states he would do it. No matter what this journey entailed he at least wanted them to be cared for and happy, should things come to worse.

Riya herself wasn't sure what to feel. The farewells had just begun, starting with the man who helped reach the peak of stardom. To help both Alec and Fiore she had to pull them with her toward the publicity abyss, and she didn't want them to get stuck with her there. ‘You two are strong but…I don't want them to break you down too.’

She sighed, it didn't matter. The pair had chosen her, so all she had to do was not let them down. Easier said than done.

Alec stood and wheeled her to the living room. Without even having to be asked, Sergei turned on the TV and tuned into the sci-fi channel. 

“I think you need a breather. Relax, I'll help Porscha with the food.”

Alec helped her settle on the couch and Fiore sat beside her, gently leaning on her. The three remained there, not wanting to talk right now, but rather rest.

They all knew they'd take this fall together.

Dinner had been great and he expected to head to bed early. So Alec bid Fiore goodnight and tucked her in before heading to his room.

He didn't think Riya would be waiting for him by the opened door of her own room.

“Hey, mind if we talk?” She asked.

“Not all all.”

He went into the room behind her, noticing the awards case to the wall and the canopy bed with thin purple silk curtains. Riya led him to the balcony of the room, so the both of them enjoyed the cool night air.

The view was nice, as one could see the front of the mansion, the gates and the roads, along with the homes and skyscrapers of the city.

“Want one?” Riya asked as she offered him a cigarette. 

“Didn't think you smoked too.”

“I don't do it often, I'm just anxious tonight. I have the feeling you'd be too.”

Funny how a few days ago she wouldn't ever admit to having emotions and yet here she was bearing her heart to Alec. ‘He's easy to talk to, hopefully I can return the favor.’

“You'd be correct.” He answered, taking the cigarette.

Riya lit herself up and would've handed him the lighter too, but Alec bent down and pressed the tips of the cigarettes together, lighting himself up with her flame.

She was flustered for a moment before taking the smoke and exhaling with a laugh. “Practicing for the wedding?”

Alec laughed too. “You could say that.” He said with an exhale. “I'm really sorry.”

She was surprised. “I should be the one apologizing.”

“Riya c'mon! Who's giving more in this union? You let me stay here, you're getting me into rehab, you just bought me a whole new wardrobe! Being shackled to me is a hindrance to you!” He said.

She took another drag of the cigarette before exhaling and speaking again. “You think I mind doing this for you?! I'm well off economically Alec! Well off enough that I should've just let you all cut me loose at the start of the game! Maybe that way I wouldn't be in need of good publicity, and I wouldn't be dragging you down with me!

Alec, you both deserve better than this fake family ruse! You especially…It terrifies me to think I could make things worse for you! I need you to be sober! I need you to live! I need to know that if I fail, you won't…You deserved so much better than what any of us ever gave you! You were the only one deserving of that win!"

Deserved? Deserved?! The only thing a man like him deserved was a clean shot to the back of the head! 

No…No…Enough with that way of thinking. He now knew that if he indeed had gone through with his suicide he would've been terribly missed. That despite his pathetic attempt at keeping a family before he now had a second chance, even if circumstances were different. He knew Helena would be sorely disappointed if he gave up so easily.

He focused on comforting Riya. Mercifully, he was good at that.

“Riya the game is over, I've forgiven you, so has Fiore. Truth to be told, had I been the one to remain in the game after the idol play, it's likely I would've been worse than you in my desperation.

You're not dragging us down. We've all agreed to the plan! I am more than willing to do this for you! I can't speak for Fiore, but she's eternally grateful that you got her out of that school and that you're providing for her. Posing for the cameras is small potatoes compared to the safety you've given us, even if it's easy for you to provide. 

As for me, you're not making anything worse. I am here because you chose to help me, because you cared enough to save me. I will put in my best efforts to heal for my own sake, but if it means so much to you then I'll be safe and sober for you as well.

Riya, it'll be okay. I'd be honored to be considered worthy of marrying you. If anything it worries me that settling for me will reflect badly on you.”

She raised an eyebrow and took his hand. “Settling? Why would you think that? You're the hottest man on the show!”

Yep he would have to get used to Riya flustering him. “I am flattered, but really your judgement must be biased.”

“Alec, you need new mirrors if you don't see it! You have a nice height, pretty skin, the glasses add intellectual charm, though without them your shiny hazel eyes sparkle like stars, your hair is beautiful too, makes you look like a 19th century gentleman, oh and you have nice hands and an elegant style, and your voice is so pretty and soothing—”

She had to hold her tongue as she noticed Alec was turning red with glassy eyes and a sweet sad smile.

“Thank you so much for that, you just boosted my ego.”

She smirked. “I'll say it often then.”

“Then it's only fair that I do the same.” Alec said.

“Don't, if I get more egocentric it'll be the death of me.” Riya joked.

The wording wasn't intentional, but Alec still tightened his grip on her hand. “I'm not letting that happen. And I'll start by listing your best attributes.”

Like the olden times gentleman she saw him as, Alec got down on one knee and took her hands in his.

“You have deep dark eyes that sometimes speak more than words ever could. You're gorgeous, from your figure, to your touch, to your voice and your flowing brown curls. Everything I've seen you wear fits you so well, from the fancy gold jewelry to the space suits we were given and even the pajamas you now have. If acting wasn't your deep passion I'd suggest a career in modeling, no doubt you'd succeed at that too. I really love your voice and accent, it makes you sound so lovely and unique and…you see so much in me that I cannot even comprehend. It tells me you have a kind soul, even if it remains unseen—”

Now he was the one who had to silence his words as tears escaped Riya. “Stop, you're going to give me a complex.” She said, trying to laugh so she could mask the sobbing.

“Get a complex, be egocentric, be a show off, be mean, I'd …give anything for you to be that way again, rather than to find you bleeding and misty eyed. I want you to be happy.”

She let go of his hands to put her own gently upon his face. “Would it have really hurt that much to lose me?”

The question was barely audible, in a broken voice and with crystalline tears. Riya dreaded the answer, despite knowing there was nothing to fear.

“A world without you would've hurt for the rest of my life.” Alec told her honestly. More and more he questioned how he could ever think he hated her. What was the limit? How much was he willing to forgive from her? He wondered despite already knowing the answer. ‘I'd forgive it all, if it means you stay.’

Riya put her forehead against his. “You're such a poet.” She teased as her dark eyes fell on his. “Thank you.” 

It was a whisper, and an incomplete statement. What she truly wanted to say was ‘Thank you for making this dead heart beat again.’ But Riya held back. That would be better saved for truthful wedding vows. 

Alec smiled and kissed her forehead gently. “Rest easy, Mrs. Çelik.”

She went from saddened to flustered in a second. The poetic nerd had it in him to be bold from time to time. It was cute.

“Rest easy, darling.” She told him as he walked out the door.

Her villainous persona had been an act that was difficult to keep, and it had cost her so much that she wondered if it was worth it. But this…this might be more than just an act. Because the words ‘Riya Çelik’ made her smile as she got in her bed and hoped to dream of better days.

For his part Alec realized he could finally fall asleep without drinking himself to unconsciousness. Perhaps it was because he was finally looking forward to tomorrow.

It had been 530 days since he could close his eyes and fall into a dreamless slumber, without the help of bitter bourbon. Perhaps because he was now getting drunk on a dark gaze and sweet smile.

Riya was screaming.

She felt her nails break and the stone and sand fall apart as she gripped them for safety. She heard Yul screaming out her name, as he had reached for her, even with a scorpion upon his back. But he couldn't save her, she was now in free fall. 

In reality, the fall had been almost 10 seconds, maybe 15? She wasn't sure, but now she fell for what felt like hours, even if the urgency and fear remained the same.

‘Am I going to die? This can't be how I die! I haven't seen them in weeks! We were going to celebrate the win together! The baby…I want to meet him! I was supposed to visit Eesha too! I can't leave her alone. She needs me, they need me! I can't die! I don't want to die…’

She winced at the impact, the pain had knocked her out before, but not now. She could feel and hear bones cracking, she could taste crimson on her mouth and the ache in her back and head, she couldn't move or speak, she could only weep, as the vicinity filled with freezing water. It felt an awful lot like that cavern from her first finale.

This time there was no helmet, or oxygen or flashlight to use. Just cold water and darkness as Riya's eyes darted around the cave in a panic.

‘No, please! Not again! Only Rosa helped me…please they'll leave me.’

And why shouldn't they? She was vile, she backstabbed them all, she broke bones too, this was all so very deserved. She deserved it all.

Riya closed her eyes and let herself sink into the depths, she'd die alone as everyone wanted her to.

‘I want you to be happy.’

Alec's voice made her eyes snap open. No, she promised she'd try. He said he'd miss her for the rest of his life. 

‘If I don't save him there won't be a rest of his life!’

Riya thrashed and tried to swim but her legs wouldn't move and it hurt to even attempt it. Her lungs begged for air, but as she involuntarily opened her mouth all she could do was swallow freezing water and sink further.

‘I'm sorry…’ She apologized to no one and everyone as darkness took her down.

Riya woke up coughing and trying to spit out water that didn't exist. She quickly tried to even her breathing before fully reeling from the nightmare. Her cellphone woke her up. It was Reynold.

“Rey?” She answered, trying to mask her broken voice.

“Couldn't sleep. I needed to talk to ya. You okay?”

“Just a nightmare.” Riya lied. “The phone actually woke me up, so thanks.”

“Heh, good to hear I helped with that at least. I'm…I'm guessing you know.”

“I heard you driving away and Porscha was livid. She told me in the afternoon.”

“I'm sorry. I have no plans to drop you, ever. You took my career to new heights, and I see you more of a friend than a client. 

But I'm no good in a crisis. You know that.”

“You don't need to apologize, I understand. I'm just happy to hear your voice.

Porscha knows too, she's just hormonal and stressed. I probably didn't help them matters by letting you both down.”

“What? Riya you could never let me down! I was worried about you! Had half a mind to sue that stupid show!”

She giggled. “Can't blame this one on anyone else, dear friend. It's okay. 

I know you have loads of work and that I am not gonna be shining too bright for a while. Just keep up with me and I'll be happy to see you once I can stand up again.”

“Thank you. I promise, I'll make it up to the others too. Sergei gave me quite the scolding and so did Fabi.”

“Fabio being mad at you? That's a rare occurrence.”

Reynold laughed. “That's how I could tell I fucked up majorly. I'm gonna make it up to you don't worry. I'll let you sleep now, but I'll call you again at a reasonable hour soon.”

“I'd like that. There's a lot you must know…And Reynold, I'm happy to hear you think of me as a friend. Because I consider you a precious friend too. I really don't want to drag anyone else down with me.

“Lovey, you don't drag anyone down, not a single one of us, you understand? You may think the plane is crashing and that's gonna kill us all, but no, we're going to make sure we all survive whatever mess awaits.”

Her legs began to ache again, as did her back from the abrupt awakening and her urgency to pick up the phone. Still admst the pain, Riya smiled sweetly and addressed her dear agent and friend.

“Maybe I can believe it, as long as I'm not alone.”

Shelter me from this again
Dedicated to the end
Help me break my conscience in
To free us from our innocence

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Beneath this Wave

You cut me down
You know I'll always be around
So now I wait…
I know you'll live another day
Come and take my breath away
Look me straight in the face!

“Hmmm, that's good, very good. My props to your medic back at camp, this is really good cast work, a shame I had to undo it.”

Riya chuckled. “I'll be sure to pass on the compliment.”

She really had to pay back some favors when got the chance. Marcus was one of many on that list.

“Alright, I have the X-rays ready.” Dr. Delilah said as she was handed the files by one of the nurses.

Riya and Porscha waited until the blonde woman laid them all on the board in front of them. “Okay, so the good news is that other than your legs, there are no more broken bones. I also noticed that your fractures are both complete oblique fractures which means that with proper treatment and rest they're likely to heal at the same time.”

“How long do you think that'll be?” Riya asked.

“Three to four months is the minimum healing time. I think three will be enough for these specific cases, but before you begin physical therapy you should get a checkup to confirm you're fully healed and ready for the next step.” Delilah said. “There are no other fractures on you, but you have bad bruising on your back and shoulders, and I could tell you had a hard hit to the head too. So please rest up and take it easy. These minor injuries may cause you some pain but will fade away on their own.”

“Don't worry, diva! I'll keep a close eye on your girlie to take it easy!” Porscha promised.

Riya rolled her eyes. “I forget the two of you used to be coworkers sometimes. Always so friendly.”

Delilah winked with her sparkly blue eyes. “Porscha is sorely missed as a nurse here, but I know she's stellar in all endeavors. So listen to her, Ms. Sharma.”

“Yes yes, I am nothing if not obedient.”

Both Delilah and Porscha squinted at that.

“Oh hush” Riya said. She wanted to get up from the medical bed but Delilah protested.

“Easy sweetie, we have to put another cast on your fractures.”

“Ugh! They're so itchy and bumpy. Is there anything else I can get?”

“I can get you braces. They're less intrusive and easier to take off when needed. Still can't get them wet though, so be advised for that.”

Braces would be easier to hide with a wedding dress. Yes this would help her get better photos, and at least she wouldn't have to deal with the cast protection when it came to baths.

“I'll take it. Thanks Dr. Martin!”

“Anything for my favorite actress! I'll be right back, ladies.”

Riya laid back down on the pillow and let out an exasperated sigh.

“You good?” Porscha asked.

“Happy to know I'll be able to get up soon, but that's months away. You're still stuck babying me.”

“I'm not babying you, I'm taking care of you. Honey, I know it's frustrating to be so dependent on people during this time, more so for a woman as self reliant as you, but that's how treatment for fractures works.

I don't mind helping you at all. This used to be my job before and I had to assist complete strangers in even worse conditions with far more tasks. Dressing you up or down for a few months and being with you during baths is easy for me. And if things were worse and you were fully bedridden I'd assist with that too, no charge. More than a boss you're like my sister and I won't ever leave ya to fend for yourself. As long as I'm here you shall be cared for!”

“Thank you. I'm blessed to have you.”

“Right back at ya. Plus now you have our dear boyos too, and the kiddo! Hopefully they're outta the pediatrician before us.”

She smiled. Alec insisted they got Fiore a check-up too, but she noticed the man declined one for himself. Was he still under the impression his health didn't matter? Was this her fault somehow?

‘Enough! He said he forgave me. I have to believe him.’

Alec hadn't lied to her before, he was closed off and sometimes got on her nerves during the game, but he had never uttered a lie. Rather he'd been brutally honest to a fault, perhaps that's what doomed him. She didn't want to think of what would've happened to him had they not reconciled.

‘Perhaps we would've just met again on the next life, but then…what happens to our child?’

Fiore. Left alone without the only person she considered a parent. Maybe in time she'd warm up to Riya as well, but the two were nothing other than alliance partners until now, and Riya knew well she'd failed at that. She wouldn't fail again, they wouldn't leave the little girl alone much less at that vile place. ‘She must be protected.’

“Riya?”

“Sorry, zoned out. Say Porscha, once we're out can we get some bridal magazines? We should start planning as soon as possible.”

“You've been a delight, sweetie! Okay, so now I just need to talk to your dad, go get some candy at the front desk as a reward.”

Alec smiled as he saw Fiore nod and get off the medical bed when her check-up concluded. “Thanks.” She said to the pediatrician. 

“You're most welcome!” Dr. Sugi responded.

“I'll take you there while Alec and the doctor talk.” Sergei said as he offered his hand for Fiore to take.

Once they left and closed the door he could feel the pediatrician's eyes on him, turning sad and glassy.

He already suspected what she'd say, he was hoping to be wrong, that perhaps things weren't as dire as he suspected and that the guilt of it all wouldn't consume him like a rot.

“You saw those bruises on her too. Didn't you?”

He winced and closed his eyes. “I thought they were from the game. She got a few hits during her time there.”

“I'm afraid not, those weren't recent enough. Her wrists are scarred from impacts, they're very deep. Part of her skin on the back of her neck has burn marks, I take it those are from the first season finale. Finally, I suspect there was a fracture on her upper arm that didn't heal correctly, as evidenced by the x-rays…”

He was silent upon hearing that. What could he say? What could anyone say?! They all left her to fend for herself after season one! He less than anyone else had any morals to be outraged. ‘You cursed out her very existence! What right do you have to find this atrocious?! You failed her, just like you failed Daniel! We're two for two here! Just what else does she have to be in pain for, because of you?!’

For the sake of keeping an air of normalcy, and not scaring the pediatrician he just took a breath. “Is there anything you'd recommend for treatment? Or should I just bring her here to you more often?”

The brunette woman sighed. “At this point I think the damaged shoulder is irreversible, she has chronic pain and winced when I examined it. The burn mark can be treated with ointment as well as the scars. We'll check back in a month and see how to proceed. Though I advice making sure she is able to exercise and gain back some of her weight.

“Got it. Thank you, doctor.”

“No worries! Chin up Mr. Çelik, your daughter is a strong girl, and I know she'll be okay now that you're both calm and resting. Just…No more reality shows for a bit. That goes for you both! I'm sure that in time everything will work itself out.”

Oh how he hoped she was right. Dr. Sugi got him the ointments he requested and he took them. Obvious to it all, Sergei and Fiore waited for him outside after having some fruit gummies.

“Porscha texted, Riya is at cafe. My wife wants to get a check up on the baby. We shall see you there soon.”

Alec nodded and left alongside Fiore. He waited until they were at an empty hall to finally speak.

“I am sorry.”

“What?” Fiore asked. “Why are you saying that?”

“Fiore, I may be a fool, but I am not blind. I was there for your check-up and I could see the bruises.”

She looked away, ashamed that she still bore those marks. “It's not your fault! Alec I got these at school, what could you have done?!”

“I could've tried harder to help you before…” He said as he kneeled in front of her. “Fiore, I turned my back on you at the end of the season! My last words to you were nothing but vile!”

“I betrayed you! You wanted to win for your family and I stabbed you in the back!”

“And where did that get me Fiore?! What thanks did I get for my attempt to win?! Nothing, not even a chance to say my peace before I left! Just a ring and divorce papers! 

And even if my efforts had been appreciated, even if by some sliver of mercy from this cruel universe I got to fix things, that meant nothing if I left you to your own devices at that damn school!” 

Alec felt as she took off his glasses and wiped his tears away. “You couldn't have saved me.”

“I should've at least tried! I…should've called, should've kept myself from spiraling to be a fitting parent. Maybe we would've been okay sooner.”

Fiore sighed but then smiled. “It's okay. I like it better this way! We're together now. We live in a mansion and we're being taken care of. If things were different we wouldn't be where we are now.

I think she needs us too. Riya is tough and stubborn but she needs us. We all have to heal together!”

Heal together, eh? Yes he could see that. He would make sure they all rose above what was dragging them down.

“Then we will do that.”

“But for now, I accept your apology. Thanks for that, because I usually don't get those. I hope you'll forgive me for what I did.”

“I already did, a long time ago.”

He wasn't sure why, but his daughter's eyes sparkled at the revelation.

Despite the relatively recent change, Riya was able to adapt quickly on the basics. She was able to get to the cafeteria on her own and even get an order and a lower table that suited her.

‘You were right dear friend, the nurses here are sweethearts, but I'm gonna keep making it on my own! It's only a couple months!’ 

In her determination, and enjoyment of the fresh salad she didn't notice someone approaching her table. 

“Pardon me, are you Riya Sharma?”

“The one and only- Oh by the gods!”

Riya nearly squeaked out like a jumpy teen upon seeing one of her idols in the flesh. Napayshni Howell of the Hollywood Golden age looked awfully good for a man who was nearing a century of life. The Lakota native wore his long hair on two braids, though now it had turned snow white rather than the black cascade she was accustomed to in movies. 

“You're Napayshni Howell! I am such a huge fan! It's so nice to meet you!” She beamed and had to contain herself from attempting to stand up.

The man chuckled. “I appreciate the enthusiasm. I could say the same about you, Miss Riya. For a new face in the business you've certainly made quite an impression! I've thoroughly enjoyed your shows!”

“It makes me so happy to hear you say that! You were one of my favorite actors growing up! I can't think of higher praise!”

“Oh please, you'll make me blush. May I sit here with you? I'd love to talk some more.”

“Of course!”

As she waited for her friends Riya was in awe that one of her inspirations enjoyed her work, more so that he even branched out to watch reality TV just to see her beginnings and her new season. ‘Sadly that last one I can't erase.’

“I say you played an excellent game, a pity the finale came at such a cost but I'm impressed you persevered.”

“Think so? I'm not so sure I made the right choice…” She admitted. 

“Why so?”

“Well, given my current state it's likely I'll lose out on roles for a while. I've severed many connections I had and…I almost failed someone I'm lucky to have kept. 

Perhaps I should've cut my losses and settled for bronze. I had what I always wanted but now I stand at the precipice of losing it all. I was foolish.”

Napayshni nodded. “I can understand the sentiment. Yes, a cautious approach might have prevented your medical evacuation, but not the sorrows of yet another defeat.

I might be overstepping with my assumption but to me you did not seem foolish. To me, you were hurt.”

“Hurt?”

“Yes dear, you were still hurt from what transpired in the previous season, and how you were robbed of your victory. More so, when the culprit showed indifference to that hurt and rightful anger.”

Oh she thought she hid it well, but there were times when even the greatest had their masks slip and the world saw through the cracks. The man was right, she was hurt, she was mad, she wished that her ex had shown her more than just indifference at nearly dooming her to the icy depths and the loss of her own lifeline. Had she not gotten lucky…

“I'm still livid, I lost more than I expected ...I hurt a lot of people, mostly myself, and in the end I am still left with the incognita of knowing if I could win without him or not. Because no matter what, he wanted to prove me wrong and be a thorn in my side at every step of the way. But the fall, the fall was of my own making. There's no excuse for that. This is rock bottom.”

“When one is at rock bottom there's no other way to go but up. If your checkup today went well and you understand what led you to this path then there's no doubt you'll do better in time. Be strong, Miss Riya. I see a bright future ahead of you.”

“That's very sweet of you to say. Thank you.”

She noticed everyone was arriving at the cafeteria. Alec carried Fiore in his arms and Porscha and Sergei were intertwined until the agent noticed who Riya's companion was and proceeded to squeal. ‘Guess that makes two of us.’ 

“I am such a big fan! Mr. Howell, may I have your autograph?” Porscha asked while frantically looking for paper and pen in her purse.

“Of course! My my, you're all making me feel very appreciated today.” Napayshni said with a laugh. “I take it you're, Miss Riya's family?”

“They are. My agent Porscha, my bodyguard Sergei, my daughter Fiore and my fiance Alec.” Riya introduced them proudly, even if some of these labels still felt new to her.

“A pleasure to meet you all. Do take good care of our leading lady. I'd be happy to see more of her work and perhaps collaborate in the future.”

She couldn't keep from smiling at that offer. Working with her idol? This day just kept on getting better.

Sergei went off to get the food while the group continued to talk.

“You two were out earlier than me and cutie, what happened?” Porscha asked Alec and Fiore. 

The little one chuckled and Alec rolled his eyes. “I fear it's my fault. I got lost on the other wing of the hospital. I should get my memory checked.”

“The nerd is slipping.” Fiore joked.

“Hey now, Mr. Alec is quite the brilliant mind. I commend you both on keeping me guessing during your first run of the show.”

“Thank you, I think we had a better play back then.” Alec said.

“I'll say, from second to twelfth?! That was quite a fall.” Fiore muttered, looking away.

“Do not fret little one. I think you handled yourself quite well. Never lose the tenacity. It does you well.”

That got Fiore to smile again. “You're right, I have to keep up with them!” Fiore said while looking at her and Alec.

Both of them smiled sweetly at her.

“Forgive me if I am overstepping, but I thought you were all at odds at the end of the show. How come you're a family now?”

Understatement of the century. She was sure if things were different neither Alec nor Fiore would want anything to do with her. Thankfully this wasn't the case, and not only had the pair provided her with joy, but she could provide them with aid too.

Riya smiled and explained. “Some great things happen offscreen. Let's just say I got a prize either way.” Riya beamed.

She was being truthful and it seemed everyone could tell, for Alec was taken aback yet happy with her statement, and so was Fiore.

“Well then, I am glad to hear it. You all deserve a good rest and happiness.”

She knew the pair did, but Riya still wasn't sure about herself.

The rehab facility looked more like a resort than anything else. It was wide, painted white with a terracotta tiled roof and a lounge near the entrance for those who presumably took residential therapy.

Alec sighed. It was an arrogant thought, but the former librarian never once thought he'd come to a place like this. He wasn't the type to become an alcoholic, he sure as hell wasn't the type to need rehab! Well, until now…

“Do you need me to go in with you?” Riya asked.

The actress was beside him in the backseat, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. Even back in the game at her most ruthless she always did look at him that sweetly. That is, until they were at odds and instead of sweetness he saw betrayal in those dark brown eyes. 'I must stop thinking liket that. I was the one who betrayed her…’

That betrayal had destroyed them. Alec mentally kicked himself for once choosing someone who cut him off without a second thought, over the one who was now willing to stay by his side as he finally sought out aid. 

“No need. Thank you for the offer. Both of you just focus on your tasks.”

“Not to worry, handsome nerd! Riya and I have it all under control!” Porscha said from the driver's seat. “I'll have Fabi pick you up in an hour. Chin up, you got this!”

“Thanks Porscha, and thank you Riya. I shall see you both soon.”

He exited the car and took a deep breath as he walked towards the entrance. Alec noticed the girls didn't leave until he was inside and on his way to the front desk.

The secretary was a younger man with dyed hair and a cheerful disposition.

“Good morning to ye laddy! The name's Jax! How can I help you?"

“Hello, I am here for the mixed program. I was supposed to have a session with Dr. Fairburn.”

“Doc's in session and he did tell me he was expecting a new patient so just go down that hall, last office to the left. Best of luck and wishing ye a speedy recovery.”

“Thank you.”

Just like the outside of the facility, the illuminated and decorated halls made it all seem like a resort rather than a rehab center. Perhaps that would put him at ease. Alec wasn't too keen on sharing his woes with anyone. He'd have to work on that.

He softly knocked on the door and heard a deep soft voice call out. “Come in.”

He opened the door and was greeted with a wide office. It had a backdoor that led to a terrace, wide windows and was painted light green, there was a bookshelf to the right wall, a desk in the middle and a long seat to the left wall.

A blonde man with hazel green eyes looked up at him, from his coat and demeanor Alec deduced he was the therapist. 

“Good morning! Alec Çelik, I presume?”

“Yes. Nice to meet you.”

“Dr. Baile Fairburn. Nice to meet you too! Please take a seat. We shall begin momentarily.”

He did as instructed, taking a moment to subtly glance at the other details around him. On the wall Alec spotted a picture of Baile and a similar looking older woman with black hair, he assumed that was his mother. There was another photo of him in doctorate graduation attire and finally a wedding photo where he wore a white tuxedo and a pretty pale woman with fiery orange hair wore a black dress. 

“I remember the day as if it was yesterday. Nemesis always said she wanted a gothic wedding gown. Black suits her so well!”

It was cute to see the man speaking so fondly of his wife. There was a time when Alec has been the same way, speaking praises of Cheryll to anyone who'd listen. But all he could say now was that his feelings on the matter were mixed and while he was certainly sorry to have wasted her time and broken her heart, he didn't really miss the monotony.

And now he was to be married again, though for a different reason. He was no stranger to marriage of convenience, both historical and fictional, yet he was still worried. Who was to say he wouldn't repeat his mistakes? Who was to say that he wouldn't hurt Riya like he hurt Cheryll? 

‘I have to stop thinking like that!’

Easier said than done. Baile seemed to notice it as well.

“Marriage a painful topic?” He asked.

“More like a detonant…”

“Ah, then I have my starting point. Just a sec.”

The blonde took out a notepad from his breast pocket, then sat across from Alec and got ready to write. “Oki doki, now we're all set. Mr Çelik, I'll by asking you what I ask all of my patients. Why are you here?”

He sighed. It hurt to admit, even if it was a truth he was certain many knew from just the stupid show he'd just exited. 

“Because I am an alcoholic. I have drank more in the past two years than many men have done in their lifetimes. I don't want to die of liver failure. I don't want to be a burden to those I love. I don't want this to be my end, Dr. Fairburn!”

The man wasn't taken aback by his rage and desperation. He merely nodded and glanced at him with sympathetic eyes. “I see. Then you've come to the right place. 

Tell me more of what influenced your decision to seek out treatment. Was it an event? A person?”

“I've known I needed rehab for a while now. At the time I was economically struggling and…truth be told I still am. The only reason why I can seek to heal myself is thanks to-” He paused for a moment. Referring to Riya by name was too formal, referring to her as friend too informal, there was no word for what they were so he'd say what they pretended to be. Even if he perhaps wished to address her in a more divine right. “My fiance.”

Baile was puzzled. “Did you not say marriage was the detonant for your alcoholism? I am assuming that it was a different marriage, correct?”

“Yes. It's complicated. My first marriage deteriorated and culminated in a nasty divorce. I fell into alcoholism soon after and have been deteriorating until recently when I…When I met my fiance.”

“Makes sense then, you are here because you don't wish to repeat your past mistakes in this new union. Can't do that when one is spiraling.”

“Precisely. My fiance, and my daughter, I cannot fail them like I failed my ex-wife and son.”

“Okay, I got a clearer picture of the situation now. I believe this'll help me assess you better. Tell me then, Mr. Çelik, if the crumbling of your first marriage is what led you to your vice then when was the first time? If you remember it, surmise it to me. Leave no detail out, I require the clearest picture of it.”

Alec tried to recall it all, before recounting the event.

He longed to forget that rainy afternoon, the ache in his joints as the cold droplets soaked him to the bone and he entered the cold office of the divorce attorney, and the heartburn that wouldn't leave him.

Here she was. Perfect white dress and jean jacket, perfectly combed curly hair and big sparkling silver eyes he once stared at like pools of starlight. Not now, not ever again, not when she'd taken everything despite coming from a well off family, not when this was the first time he'd seen her in four months!

The faces of their lawyers had been blurred with time. All he remembered was being told where to sign and that it was done.

Alec glanced at her, she didn't raise her gaze to meet his. 

“So that's it?! After 12 years this is all I get?!” Alec roared. She still didn't look at him, or even said a word.

“If you wanted the house, the accounts, the custody, I would've gladly given you all of it! You knew that! At least, I thought you'd knew…I didn't want a second chance. I wasn't going to get that, but I once believed I meant more to you than this! Guess that's on me for ever daring to think you of all people could ever understand!”

A flinch, but not a word or a gaze. That was all he'd get. That's all he was worth to his once mon Cheryll.

He had been wearing his ring up until today, foolishly thinking there was still a thread of care for him in her heart. But Fiore had been right, this was beyond fixing and he was just the fool who kept on hoping things would ever change.

So Alec removed the gold band from his finger. The inside of it had been engraved with a quote from Romeo & Juliet. 

‘My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.’

Eternity, there was no such thing! Not with her, not with him, not even if they once swore upon their loved ones and once tasted pure joy before their plans were changed and she tried to turn him into a different man.

He should've left long ago, with a still beating heart and his material possessions intact, but no. He'd foolishly thought she loved him enough to try and understand, to let him try and wipe the slate clean, that she cared as much as he did. He'd been wrong.

“I regret ever wasting my time and love on you.” He said venomously.

That finally earned him a glance. Tear stained but equally full of venom. Good. Let her have but a quarter of what she'd put him through!

Alec threw the ring across the room. “Since you want to take it all, here! Have this as well! I want absolutely nothing of your shackles!”

And after those parting words were spoken he walked away, far colder than before and before any tears could be seen by anyone. 

The freezing rain masked them, and he let the rain and teardrops mix as he got to the bar and sat down.

A short woman with long black hair and a steely demeanor was his bartender.

“Afternoon sir, what will it be?”

“Absinthe. Leave the bottle.”

And in the herbal and bitter taste of the strongest alcohol he liked to consume he found some solace. In time a bottle became five, and the occasional drink became a daily ritual to not let himself fall into rage and sorrow. He did so anyway, he nearly did so to the grave.

“After that one bottle, I was done. Nothing else could numb me, nothing else mattered, those who'd swore they'd stay left me, even the friends I had before I met her they all took her side. Maybe she told them how much she loathed me when I was on the show and I couldn't defend myself, maybe they never cared as much as they said, or they simply found Cheryll to be a better friend.

Who knows? Only my family occasionally called and three other people I met afterward stood by me. The rest were to be forgotten, Cheryll didn't once care to speak to me again, not even regarding our child, though given my less than stellar record that I can justify.

So, that's how I fell off.”

“I see. Spiraling after a divorce is very common, so I do not fault you at all. From what you tell me your ex-wife chose to leave you during a time you were seeking a golden opportunity for your family. I'm no marriage counselor and it's pretty clear said plans would at most only delay the inevitable but it is quite cold to just abandon someone who is trying so hard to make it work. At the very least you made it clear you did care, just not in the way she wanted you to.

We're not to discuss your marriage this session but from what you've told me it does seem like both parties are to blame for the inevitable crumbling. Still that does not mean vice would be the best soothing method for this ache. Now that you know that we can begin your healing.

How long has it been since you last drank?”

“A month and a few weeks? I stopped when I was cast for season three of Disventure Camp. I had a few beers after the finale but it was nowhere near as much as my previous binges.”

“Any withdrawal symptoms remain?”

“Migraines. I've gotten some bad ones. Other than that only the occasional nightmare.”

“It's not normal for withdrawal to last longer than a week. You should get a check up, those migraines are either unrelated or caused by another pathology.” Baile glanced at the clock. “Seems like our hour is up. Now with new patients I always wait until they decide to join group meetings to bring them along. If you'd like to continue this in a group session you're free to join, if not then we can meet up again like this in two weeks.”

“I'd rather wait. It's not easy for me to share my woes with strangers.”

“Most understandable. Then I bid you adieu, Mr. Çelik. It has been a pleasure and I look forward to seeing you again. Do take care.”

“Thank you.”

A handshake later and he was out the door. As he left Alec waved goodbye to Jax at the front desk. The perky secretary smiled and waved too.

Perhaps it would be best to join group therapy as soon as possible, but Alec wasn't keen on large crowds hearing about his failures and heartache. ‘Well it not like I didn't fuck up in national televison.’ He mused. 

Maybe in time his introversion wouldn't win over and he'd be a little more sociable.

Alec glanced outside and saw a different vehicle this time. Fabio waved him hello from his blue convertible. The stylist was smiling from ear to ear and he saw shopping bags in the backseat.

“Hello handsome librarian! How was everything?” He asked as Alec got on the passenger seat.

“It was very nice. Baile is a kind man, really professional too.”

“Glad to hear it! He's a dear friend and someone who can understand the sorrows of alcoholism up close. I know he'll take good care of you.”

“I appreciate the concern. You're all very kind and welcoming despite my sudden intrusion in your lives. I promise I'll make it worth it.”

Fabio gently patted him on the back as he drove. “Not an intrusion at all dude, we're all happy to help out a friend!”

The blonde's smile put him at ease. Alec let himself relax as he admired the scenery of the city. The palm trees, busy streets, cobblestone boulevards, and abundant establishments dedicated to films and movie making were all such a change from the slightly simplistic London. No wonder Riya treasured LA so much. 

“Liking the view?” Fabio asked.

“It's very different from what I am used to.” Alec responded. “I once read that for the healing process to work one must make full change in their life. Location, social circle, hobbies, jobs, relationships. I feel like the busy air and crowds are not something I'd otherwise seek out, but its contrast to my former life might help speed up my recovery.”

“I can't speak from a professional standpoint, as my expertise is cosmetology but as someone who's had to leave a bad life behind in record time, the change certainly helps you.”

There was sadness and rage upon the icy blue eyes of the stylist. For all his kind demeanor and silliness, Fabio was a man who knew sorrow, if the things that Fiore told him were anything to go by.

“How are you, by the way? With your father and all…”

Fabio smiled sadly. “I won't tell you it does not hurt. Not because I loved him, man can be thrown to the deepest pits of hell and I am sure not even the Buddha himself would weep much. Mostly I just grieve the years I spent being miserable when I could've shot him in the head and solved the issue. Guess I like to go for the dramatics.” He finished with a joke.

Alec nodded. “I'm sorry you were put in that position. But thank you for doing so anyway. You saved Fiore and for all her quips I know she's eternally grateful.”

Fabio chuckled. “Appreciate it, but no need to thank me. I'd do it all again in the heartbeat for the kiddo.”

Yeah, yeah if anything was to happen to him, he knew Fiore was in good hands.

“So, what's the plan for today?”

“Well Riri and Cha-cha are wedding shopping, no doubt doing so subtly but out enough that it generates buzz. We could do the same while Sergei holds down the fort and cares for Fiore. What do you say, mio caro?”

Wedding shopping, it was still strange to think or even say so. But if this little plan was to work he'd have to cooperate and that included publicity.

“I say let's go. You're an impeccable stylist, make sure I look presentable.”

“Oh sweetie, it's hard to improve perfection. But I may try. Let's make sure the world envies Riya for getting herself such a handsome groom!”

He might find that assessment hard to believe, but no doubt the world would envy him, for the bride he was to wed.

‘And I envy the version of myself who earned your love. Because such a thing is too precious for this broken man.’

Fiore was gently woken up by Riya at 12:00 p.m. she panicked and was ready to apologize until she saw the actress smile sweetly at her.

“You need to make up for the restlessness. Don't worry.”

Yeah, the sleepless nights were catching up to her. Fiore was still drowsy but smiled fondly upon finding herself in her newly decorated room. Upon her small desk were the homeschooling modules, which she'd use until her adoption was official and they enrolled her in school. The cute decorations Fabio gifted her had been set up on her walls and vanity. Finally her new toys were all around her, lovingly cuddled as she slept. She might have to brush the doll's hair later.

‘I'm safe. No hits, no nuns, no yelling. Finally I am safe.’ She thought.

“I have a present for you.” Riya told her.

Fiore sat up and the actress handed her a small plush box of jewelry. Fiore opened it and saw a beautiful bracelet made out of pearls and having a silver charm in the shape of a star.

“Porscha and I went wedding shopping today and I wanted to get matching jewelry for us!” Riya smiled and showed her she was wearing an identical bracelet. 

Fiore wanted to turn away. In other circumstances the gesture would've been incredibly sweet. She could tell Riya meant for it to be cute, perhaps even motherly, but Fiore's brown eyes were focused on the bandages covering Riya's wrist. Merely glancing at the white cotton and gauze garment made her tear up, and brought the guilt back in full force.

“Fiore?! What's wrong, is it the bracelet?”

“No! Well yes! It's just…You're being so kind and nice to me when it's my fault you got injured!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Riya…I was the one who settled you with the disadvantage in the mines!”

Riya's eyes widened for a moment but just as quickly she was calm. “Sweetie, I don't mind that.”

She had to be lying! She had to be making fun of her! “Don't play with me! How the fuck could you not mind that?! If I hadn't done it, you wouldn't have gone into the scorpion’s den for the gems! You wouldn't be bound to that chair or…” She had to bite down the last part.

Riya didn't say anything, she tentatively reached for Fiore's hands and wrapped her own around them. 

“Fiore. My choices, however correct, informed, reckless, or wrong are my own to make. 

Yes, you settled me with a disadvantage, and Yul was not what I would consider an ideal helper, so in my desperation I crossed into an off limits area to try and stay in the race.

But no one pushed me to do what I did. Not my staff, not you, not Alec, not Yul, I am the one who chose to do something so reckless and I paid the price. 

I do not blame you for this. Not even for a second. Okay? So do not feel guilty for me.”

Easier said than done, but she appreciated the sweetness all the same. Fiore nodded and let Riya put the bracelet on her. It was a perfect fit.

“It will look nice with the dress. Thank you!”

“Anytime! I'm happy you like it.”

“I wish I'd picked you…”

“Hmm? For what?”

“When I got my idol I was thinking about who would be the best person to support… It was between you and Ally as I didn't want to work with Jake. 

Alec and Connor convinced me to go for Ally and give you the disadvantage. I knew you had a better chance at winning, that you were ruthless enough to do whatever it took and you'd drag whoever you went up against through the mud.

But they both said that you didn't deserve the win, that if you got the disadvantage and were likely stuck with Yul as your helper it was a guaranteed third. They were right but not in the circumstances they wanted and I….Regret listening. I'm sorry.”

Riya looked surprised at this reveal. Her big dark eyes were glassy and she looked away. “So they…They asked you to turn against me?”

Fiore nodded. “Don't hate Alec for this! I was ultimately the one who chose to do as they asked. The truth is that I was also still mad about the triathlon. It was a dumb decision, you already made up for it by trying to help me in comebacks, I just let my grudge and bias take over. Please, Riya don't hate him.”

“Don't worry honey. I don't hate him. I hate the fact that I pushed him to do such a thing…”

Regret. Regret and something else Fiore couldn't discern. ‘Did she- No!'

“I think he regrets it too. Maybe talk to him.”

“Later, he's out with Fabio.  Tell you what, let's put the matter to rest and we can have some nice lunch together and I can help you with your school work.”

Fiore couldn't help but think that she was faking that smile and calmness.

‘How are the three of us gonna survive this fake family mess?’ She thought before faking a smile herself, and getting ready to face the day.

Alec immediately noticed she was more quiet than usual. Riya had been silent during dinner and retreated to her room later in the evening. He didn't see her again until he went into Fiore's room. 

Riya was reading her a bedtime story and when she finished, Alec tucked Fiore in and they both bid her good night.

Once the door to the child's room was closed he gently tapped Riya on the shoulder. “Can we talk?”

She nodded, not wanting to look at him. This time Alec led her to his room. Unlike Fiore he hadn't decorated much, preferring to be minimalistic and practical, with the bare dark blue walls, vanity, tv, and bed. 

Riya didn't say anything until he addressed her. It worried him to have the already bouncy woman in a quieter state, to have her fully silent had him debating whether or not he should ask Porscha to give her a check up.

“Is something wrong? You've been silent all day.”

“It's nothing important. You don't need to worry.”

“I'd be quite the jerk if I didn't worry about my future wife.”

His attempt at humor fell flat, Riya merely hugged herself and finally faced him. Not a hint of joy in her voice, just utter disappointment. “I spoke to Fiore today and the topic of the motel challenge came up.

Alec, I know you and Connor convinced her to choose Ally and use the disadvantage on me.”

He felt lightheaded at the words. Of course, of course it was only a matter of time until she knew. Alec knew he couldn't avoid the inevitable. He expected a screaming match or even rage, but what he got hurt more. He would've taken a thousand lashes over seeing Riya glance at him with empty eyes.

“I expected this from Connor, but never from you!” She said with a strained voice that wouldn't stay unbroken for long. “Why?!” She asked him.

He fought to keep his composure. He didn't want this to be a repeat of the fights he'd had before. Still some anger was present when he answered. “Why? Riya, you ask me that?! Has a few days been enough for you to forget it all?! You betrayed me!” He said.

She was surprised and puzzled. “When did I betray you?! I never voted for you, and I didn't intend to!”

He sighed. Closing his eyes and trying to articulate everything without falling apart. “I'm not referring to the votes.”

“Then what was my betrayal?!” 

“You cast me out as if the last few weeks were nothing! You think I forgot?! That it didn't hurt when after everything you and I had been through all I got was a little wave and a frown?! You thought of me as nothing but an expandable pawn in your chess game!”

Her eyes were wide, and he had to look away. He'd always found her deep gaze and big expressive eyes to be one of her most beautiful features, it was a hypnotizing gaze he could not cave to.

Riya knew she had no defense for that. When asked about the vote she lied to Connor and said Alec was expendable. The man and the audience had believed her, had Alec seen it he would've believed her too.

“You weren't a pawn! I was going to take you to the finale as we promised! I stayed loyal to our alliance and you were the only one there I truly trusted!”

He crossed his arms. “That wasn't what you showed me Riya. You chose to meddle with my affairs, sabotaged me during the puzzle challenge tried to manipulate me, and then said a cold goodbye to me before I left the game.

I don't doubt your word now but I sincerely did back then. So in my doubts and anger I chose to turn against you.”

“You're right. I was cold.

But I couldn't be anything else, Alec! When Aiden exposed us that painted targets on both our backs from the Hero Alliance, Grett, and Gabby! Showing my intentions would've made things harder for us! I had a persona to keep, and I had to make sure we weren't targeted!

I shouldn't have messed with your friendship with Connor. I'm sorry I did that, because I can tell you genuinely appreciated him. But I was so scared! Here is the only one I can trust in this game trying to connect with the man who will move earth and sea to make me lose, and he eventually did, with your help! So, my fears were not unfounded that if I didn't keep you close you'd turn against me! I suppose that's on me. Trying so hard to keep you close only made us fall apart. I deeply regret it.”

He didn't think he'd get apologies for that. That Riya's attempt at seduction which still made his heartbeat race was more out of fear than malice. And that for all her coldness there was a shred of love for him within her.

“I didn't think you'd be affected by it. But in retrospect it should've been clear. You once called him the enemy. I contradicted you, only for Connor to agree and yet I paid that no mind.

At the end of the day, you stood by me and he sent me home. A fate that if not for you, would've been fatal. Just like before I didn't see the writing on the wall.”

“That is what frustrates me! You chose him! You knew how I felt and how much I wanted to win, but you chose to side with him and asked Fiore to do so too, even after he failed you! The child I can understand, I had yet to make amends with her for the triathlon and she was just trying to please you with her choice. But you knew well what you were doing.

I get that you were angry and hurt and likely rooting for my downfall but…I never thought that you once hated me enough to want me crawling.”

Her voice finally broke as she said that and so did his heart. Alec kneeled before her, taking her arms in his and gently looking at her.

“No, no Riya don't you say that. Even in my rage and hurt, even when I thought you betrayed me without a second thought I could never bring myself to hate you. I could never hate you! I meant everything I said, I wanted you to be happy before we reconciled! I want you to be happy now!

Had I known that going against you would lead to this I would've never done it! If…If you had made it out unscathed and perhaps even won but never spoke another word in my direction again that'd be preferable than finding you bloodied and nearly dead that night!

I'd rather you walk away from my life happy than living with you in pain and sorrow. I mean it Riya, you matter a lot to me and I am sorry I let my bitterness consume me to the point of causing you this much pain.”

He didn't expect her to pull him into a hug, clinging to him as tightly as she did during that blissful drunken kiss.

“I know that. I know you'd never purposely cause me pain. I'm just livid that he'd use you against me!

Because even if I've done a terrible job of showing it, I do care about you. I worried for you after everything you said, and if I wasn't going to win, then I wanted it to be you.”

He chuckled, trying not to think of that fateful night and the note she'd left. Even when they were at odds, she wanted to make sure he was cared for. ‘I was such a fool.’

“Had I know that then, I might've taken the totem myself and used it to help you. Let me be worthy of the care you've given.”

“You are already worthy.”

“You're starting to sound like a therapist.” Alec joked. 

Riya giggled but then gasped. “Oh that's right! Your first session was today and I haven't even asked how it went. I'm sorry!”

“Don't apologize. I like that we can talk like this. That you told me what was bothering you when I asked. Dealing with the silent treatment has probably taken years off my lifespan.”

“Then I'll be sure to tell you everything. But all the same, I should've asked about your day.”

“You're asking now.” He said with a smile. “It was good, Dr. Fairburn is a very calm and nice man. I enjoyed speaking to him and it's likely we'll get to the root of my issues swiftly and deal with them. He's also very introvert friendly. I haven't had a doctor who cared to be accommodating in quite a while.”

“Then I'm glad it went well. You deserve good care.”

Alec held her close before letting go of the hug. “And that's exactly what I have, thanks to you.”

He could've sworn he saw Riya blushing slightly. She smiled and tried to hide it. “It's the least I could do for my dear hubby.”

Oh, so they were back to joking. 

“I'll be sure to return the favor, beloved wife.” He said with a smirk.

“Yes, I've been told you're getting dolled up for me. I can't wait!”

Alec couldn't tell if she was joking or being sincere. This wedding was a publicity stunt, a mutually beneficial union, something that scared him for he didn't want to hurt Riya more than the pain she already carried. And yet, seeing her looking forward to it, enjoying it all…

Perhaps this wouldn't be a disaster for them. 

“I'll do you proud, Mrs. Çelik.”

“I know, I'll do it too. I promise.”

“It's getting late, let me get you to bed. We still have loads of plans for tomorrow.”

“No need, I have something else I have to do before bed. I'll see you tomorrow, and I'm really glad we got to clear this up. Thank you for listening and explaining, and I'm sorry.”

“No need for apologies, if anything, I am glad you spoke to me directly. And I am sorry things between us soured then, because maybe as a team we would've done better.”

“Well, we're a team now. Goodnight handsome nerd.”

He was silent for a moment before smiling. “Goodnight.”

Riya left his room and Alec laid down in bed for a moment.

He didn't expect this mistake of his to catch up so quickly, for the guilt of setting off the dominoes that led Riya down to the scorpion’s nest still consumed him. But, unlike before when he had to spend days figuring out what menial thing made everyone else around him mad, Riya up and told him and they discussed it.

Stars knew how much he'd wanted that before. He wasn't the best listener but he tried, he made it clear he cared and wanted to fix things. So now, perhaps with time, therapy, and understanding he could be the better man he longed to be.

In his dreams he was back in his old house, kissing Daniel goodbye and making sure the smiling boy was happily resting before he set out.

His luggage was by the door, mostly clothing and books. He'd need it all if he was to outsmart the competition in Disventure Camp. Cheryll waited for him by the door too. Frowning and glaring instead of smiling. He'd forgotten her smile long before they were divorced. 

“Do you have to do this?” She asked.

“I'm doing this for you, for us! Think Cheryll, I'll win and we can start over. Things will get better for our family!”

She didn't look him in the eyes, or grip his hand when he excitedly made plans for them. 

“I'm heading out now, I'll see you when the show ends. A kiss for luck, mon Cheryll?” He asked sweetly with her favorite pet name.

Cheryll glanced at him finally, with a guilt he wouldn't come to understand until he returned home.

“A kiss goodbye.” She told him before kissing him softly, and letting go. Not looking back as she walked upstairs. 

He foolishly didn't think anything of it then. Alec just thought she was tired. So he walked away, not knowing this was the last time she'd kiss him, the last time they'd speak and he would return to an empty home and the papers that tore his heart to shreds. 

Alec woke up with a gasp, his body craved a hard drink to numb the memory, but his mind refused. He breathed slowly and grounded himself.

‘You're not in a crumbling apartment, you're not at camp, you're home. Alec you are home…’

Yes, he had to remember it, that he was safe and that he was home…Come what may, this time around he was certain he wouldn't be left with nothing.

It was a productive conversation, they cleared the air and she'd been able to let out her rage on her own before speaking with Alec. No doubt talking too quickly would have made things worse, and while she was still hurt by his choice, she at least now knew why he'd done so and he had every right.

‘Really shouldn't have pulled away from you, when I was in your grasp.’

Riya shook the thought away. This was not the time to ruminate on her past mistakes but rather in making things right.

After her conversation with Fiore she realized that the little one had been put through abuse harsher than expected, both emotional and physical. Riya swore she'd take care of that, and give the child all the love and support she deserved.

The situation also made her think of an old friend she'd yet to apologize to. So, her afternoon was spent trying to find the right words to address Lake Muller.

Riya sat by her desk and made yet another draft of a letter. She hoped her newfound clarity and better state would let her find the right words.

Dear Lake:

It's been long overdue that I write to you, and I'm sorry for not doing so sooner. The truth is there's plenty to apologize for, and unlike you I am not a writer gifted with words, but I shall try my best to do you justice.

I am sorry for what happened during our first season on the show. You were a good friend to me; kind, caring, forgiving, and I apologize for taking your friendship for granted. Even in desperation I should've done more to help you. Because you needed that prize just as much as I did, if not more.

You'd endured enough torment at the hands of a family who did not see you for the gift that you are. It was obvious you wanted to cut them out and that you needed the security the prize offered to do just that. Only for me to selfishly stay quiet and help vote you out because I knew that between the two of us, you'd certainly win. 

A little one has opened my eyes to the effect of child neglect and abuse, which I never thought I'd be in close contact with until today. Every case is different and I am not familiar with the extent of your suffering, but if you're experiencing the same aches as the person I speak of or even just a fraction of them, then surely I was cruel for almost letting that continue and sending you home. 

In my desperation and displaced anger I severed my ties with you and with Rosa, with the latter also being mischaracterized by my actions and deceit. I am sorry. I am sorry for ever putting you both through that when you were the only ones who attempted to reach out to me. I am sorry for not letting you have your chance to fight and win. I am sorry for nearly letting you get dragged back to Germany and I am so very sorry for taking so long to reach out. As while I apologized to Rosa during the finale I had yet to give you the same courtesy. 

You do not need to write back, or speak with me again if you don't wish to. I understand that I failed you both horribly and accept any consequences you deem fair. Still, I wanted to tell you that I am sorry. And that I am happy both you and Rosa are now getting the joy you deserve. I wish you all the best in your personal and professional life and I am grateful to have once met you and been your friend. 

Best Wishes,

Riya.

With a sigh she put down the pen and waited for a minute before sealing the letter in an envelope. She'd give it to Porscha in the morning to be sent. Whatever Lake chose she'd accept. This was long overdue and also not enough to make up for her actions. 

Riya knew she had plenty of apologies to make, along with work to slog through just to make sure her precarious career didn't implode on itself. But for now she just wanted to lay in bed and sleep.

Dreams of a universe where she didn't make so many mistakes were a welcome relief from her broken heart and aching bones.

‘I couldn't have done this all for nothing, right?’

Cause you know it's over
Growing colder
I need something
Leave me next to nothing
All we ever wanted
I need something
Leave me next to nothing
Next to nothing

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: Can I stay alive Forever?

Can you feel a chemical reaction
Cause i feel a hideous attraction
And could we share a poison apple?
Can it be maniacal and awful?

The intended effect was easy to achieve. Riya noticed the camera flashes outside the store, but pretended she didn't, as Porscha was helping her pick out dresses.

The actress was still uneasy about this plan. She was no stranger to acting on and off camera, and with the way things had turned out she was almost certain that if she was to wed someday it would have still been a publicity stunt rather than a loving union. Regardless she wished she wasn't involving an abused child and a depressed man in her schemes.

The sea of ivory, porcelain, and cream lace made her heart race with anxiety. So many costumes for her to wear before this farse was to be carried out. She wasn't even sure of what to choose.

"What about this one? It has a long detachable skirt, the corset is lacy and sleeveless, and doubles as 'lacy sleepwear' so all you'd have to do is remove the skirts and voila! You'd be set for the night! Plus it would look great with the stockings we got." Porscha said as she showed her a dress.

The dress presented to her was white, with a lacy corset, long gloves, and ruffled skirts. It wasn't her dream dress, but Riya thought it to be lovely all the same. 

"I'll try it on. It's very pretty!"

"Then let's go."

Porscha wheeled her into the changing room and helped her get dressed. It was an easy process and thankfully the dress fit her perfectly on the first try.

"You look lovely!" Her agent beamed. 

Her reflection didn't lie, Riya indeed looked like a beautiful queen. Still that made her heart ache all the more as the wedding became imminent with this last preparation taken care of.

"Babygirl? Are you okay?"

"What are we doing, Porscha? Seriously, what are we doing?!

I am used to the camera, the privacy invasions, the gossip. Alec loathes those things! Fiore probably wants some space to process what she's been through! But they won't be able to avoid that if we do this!

I'm dooming them! I'm dooming them with me and it's not fair! I've already caused them both so much pain..."

Porscha kneeled down, placing her hands upon Riya's face. "Have they told you this? Voiced any regrets or concerns to you?"

She shook her head.

"Then babygirl, you must calm down. Fiore is a child yes, but she is smart and capable, we shouldn't assume she's being quiet about her feelings without tangible proof, as for Alec he's not a child but rather an adult, and a smart one at that. If he wanted to back out he would've said so by now.

Thinking the people around you aren't being honest or that you know better than them is basically what the old man was doing with you, and we don't support that in this household."

She winced. "Never thought there'd come a day where being compared to Connor was so insulting."

"Things change in the blink of an eye, hon. Regardless of the matter, you need to trust Alec to be honest with you. From what you've told me, he's been honest so far. We gotta trust him.

Do you want to back out?"

"No. If not for the farce I would think of this as a win. I'm gaining a husband and a daughter." She said with a sad smile.

"Then let's get you outta the dress and pay for it. Tomorrow we fly to Nevada! Throw those worries to the wind, you will be fine, we got you. All of you."

Riya chose to heed her friend's advice and trust Alec and Fiore to be truthful. She knew this was a risky plan but for now it was all they had, and her regrets shouldn't taint that.

'I'll make sure we all rise together. Fear, pain and hunger won't touch us again.'

Reynold waited by the balcony of his penthouse. The cold night air was a good companion along with the clear night sky and a glass of cherry wine.

Until the matter could be addressed he'd wait in the silence, and remember what had set this all in motion.

How long had she been in the spotlight by then, two, three months? He wasn't counting. Riya had already told him she was in a relationship by the time he signed her as a client. That was fine, he wasn't the type of agent to use romances for publicity, and a star wasn't measured by their love life but their talent. So when he met Connor Blake he didn't think much of him. He was polite, friendly, a bit older than Riya but it wasn't his business to address.

No, the trouble came when they were talking at the Emmys after party. Riya was dancing and celebrating her win with her friends and co-workers. Meanwhile he and Connor chose to have a drink at the bar, not being as bouncy as the rest of the crew when it came to dancing. 

Reynold was in great spirits, for all of his clients had received accolades, however he noticed Connor was somewhat distracted.

"Is something wrong, Connor?" He asked.

Connor took a shot of whiskey before answering. "I am worried about Riya."

"Worried? There's no need to worry, she won by a landslide and the public loves her! Trust me, Connor she's going to shine so very brightly!"

He thought his words would comfort the man. After all, what boyfriend wouldn't be happy that his partner achieved one of the four great awards of performing arts? 

But instead of a smile or a nod he saw Connor wince and frown. "Reynold, could I ask you something?"

"Uh, sure."

"Would you ever consider dropping Riya as a client?"

His blood ran cold and for a moment Reynold thought his ears were deceiving him. Yet the steely silver gazing against his own dark blue left no room for doubt. Connor was really asking him if he would drop Riya as a client...

"Why should I consider that?" He asked calmly.

He didn't show his disgust nor his confusion. One simple slip and any sway he could have against the man would be gone. This was a film he'd seen before, and he loathed how it always ended.

"I don't like how this Hollywood life is corrupting her! She's become distant, arrogant, high maintenance...This isn't my Riya! Please Reynold, I am asking for her own good."

The amount of delusion on display in front of him would never cease to amaze him. The nerve of this man to ask his girlfriend's boss to fire her because he didn't like her attitude, it was infuriating. Who was he to know what was best for Riya?! Only Riya herself could decide that! Who was he to claim her as his?! They were not living in the 19th century anymore! 

Still, Reynold remained calm, and tried to be sympathetic. Any agitation, any complaint, warning, or false move could set the house of cards crumbling down. So he gently placed his hand on Connor's shoulder. 

"My friend, I understand you have Riya's best interests in mind, and that you're concerned for her. But is this what she would want? 

Her career just took off, and her roles are often villainous in nature, it's obvious she might have a bit of a pushy persona to keep the public interested. I'm certain this is a temporary thing and it would be unfair of me to cast her out for it. Rest assured, we are taking good care of Riya, and should anything drastic enough that requires termination of contract happen, then I shall be the first one to do so. But for now, please try to be supportive of her.

Your reluctance to accept this new phase of her life could doom you both. I would hate to see the love between you both turn cold by this disagreement. Just, believe in her Connor, believe that above all, things will fall into place."

A softened expression and a nod from the older man were proof that his words were believed. He might be an agent but he still knew how to act.

Love? This wasn't love, it's not an act of love to crush your partner's dreams for your own satisfaction. It's not an act of love to keep this desire secret or have proper discussions, and it wouldn't be an act of love if he got his way. 

He'd not told anyone a word of this conversation but he'd kept it in mind whenever Riya was stressed or upset that the man she loved had asked her to leave everything she ever wanted behind for his sake.

He kept the rage at bay, because he knew telling her he had once asked for termination would break the woman. So he comforted her, Porscha did as well, and instead they provided the loving support that Connor should've given. Despite that, the pair would not break-up until they were both casted on the new Disventure Camp season.

Reynold sighed in the present day. He wouldn't forgive himself for not speaking against it or at least advising her to break-up with Connor before the show. Because breaking the man's heart as the competition went on was the mistake that paved this road, which now had her in pain and injured while elsewhere he could feel Connor was getting ready to strike.

'The wicked trying to punish the one he deems wicked. Ain't that always the way of powerful men?'

Reynold finished his glass and put it in the living room bar. Seconds later, Fabio arrived. The blonde had a key to the penthouse, and arrived right on time as was usual for him.

"Hey."

"Evening. Want a drink?"

Fabio shook his head. "Alec started rehab, I don't even want to smell of alcohol when I go back."

Already this protective over the handsome librarian? Whatever, he was free to do as he wished and Reynold knew it'd do him well to remember that. 'You have no right to be jealous.'

"Fair enough. How are you? I should've asked this after the debacle in Italy and I'm sorry I didn't but if you want to discuss it then I'd be happy to listen."

"There's no need to worry. I'm not thrilled about it but I can't change it, nor should I try to block it out. 

When I converted to Buddhism I swore I'd never take a life again. This breaks that vow and it's certainly not good for my karma, but I cannot claim to be that much of a devotee when I tend to indulge in other ways..."

The last sentence was spoken in a husky tone, sending shivers down his spine. Fabio always made him feel like a dumb teenager in love, but he didn't mind it.

"Then, just know I'm here for you regardless. Now get cozy, we'll be here a while."

Fabio nodded and sat down across from him. "It's good to know you're sticking by us. Riya told us you chatted and I was happy to get your text."

"I told you, I am not going anywhere. Perhaps I didn't voice it as well as I should've. All the same, I am sorry that I worried you. I'll apologize to the others when I see them in person."

"Apology accepted, but you might have to wait to speak with the squad. We are heading to Nevada tomorrow."

"Why so? Did Porscha get Riya a role?"

Fabio chuckled nervously. "Depends on how you interpret it.

For Alec's immigration status to be secured quickly, Fiore's custody be granted and Riya's medical power of attorney to remain hers, Alec and Riya are going to get married tomorrow in Vegas."

"What the hell?!" 

Just why? Riya wasn't the type to compromise her feelings in such a matter, from where little he knew of Alec the man wasn't a fan of the camera, those two might be reconciling now but to jump onto marriage. Would that be for the best?

Then again, with Riya's parents blowing up the house phone as he remodeled the home a while ago and the fact that citizenship was a tedious process to handle he could see the benefits. 

"Cha-cha suggested it for publicity too. The villainous couple from All-Stars rekindle their romance and adopt their devious child, it has a nice hook, and could paint Riya sympathetically after the mess of a season she had."

"Can't say I expected less from my star pupil. I suppose I can see why she'd come up with that plan but I do have a concern."

"Which is?"

He glanced at Fabio, his puzzled expression was always adorable to witness. "From what you've seen of them, both individually and together, do you think Alec and Riya are suited for one another?" Reynold asked.

Fabio only hesitated for a second. "Perhaps it's too early for me to say, or I am biased because I appreciate them both, but yes. I believe those two are well suited for each other. They'll be able to handle whatever comes their way. The hot nerd and lovely starlet will be just fine."

He smiled. "Then I shall help you." 

"You're gonna have our backs?"

"That's my job, though I'd like to request a condition."

"Whatever you want."

He gently lifted Fabio's chin making his icy blue eyes stare directly into his dark blue ones. "I'd like to request you cease calling Alec a 'hot nerd'."

Fabio laughed. "Oh? I didn't think you'd grow jealous. Very well, you'll be the only man I address as a hot nerd." 

The younger man wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. It was becoming a habit for them to be heated so quickly.

He laughed into the kiss, both out of joy and sadness. In no conceivable universe he'd refuse the handsome man before him. Fate had been adamant in bringing them together, both before they were as successful as they were today and afterward. Love came so rarely to him, but Reynold was certain he'd found it with Fabio. 

And yet, neither ever took that step, neither dared say those three words that would seal this connection. On his end at least, he knew why. Fabio deserved to enjoy his career and freedom now that he had it. Not to be burdened by a man a decade older that just longed for peace and quiet after arduous work, rather than his free spirited self. 

For all his love, he knew Fabio desrved better than him. Indulging however, he could allow, and he'd indulge until he was sick.

Soft slender hands were already clasping at his suit jacket and ready to unbutton his shirt. Reynold reciprocated. "Do you want to stay the night?" He asked, trying to not ask instead if he'd stay forever.

"You don't have to ask, you know the answer." Fabio said cheerily.

Reynold's hand was gently undoing his button up. "Good. I've missed you."

"Missed you too." Fabio said with a kiss.

Reynold wasn't a fool, and wouldn't dare do as the man he loathed so much. He'd cherish these kisses and wild nights until in time Fabio found a fitting partner and left him behind as the fling he was supposed to be. The idea of chaining him to his side was unthinkable, and he'd much rather see Fabio shining than dulled and shackled.

He picked him up and carried him to the master bedroom. That just got Fabio to laugh. "You always have to carry me?"

"You've earned spoiling privileges. Just make sure to look after the others until I can get back to you all."

"You think something might happen?"

"I fear ghosts from the past won't be too pleased by the coming wedding bells."

"Finally! Hello again, Las Vegas!" Fabio said as the group got off the plane and arrived at their destination."

"We could've been here earlier if you weren't late!" Proscha yelled."

"I overslept, it's no biggie."

"You have bite marks on neck and came back in different clothes. We know what you were up to." Sergei said.

"Man was getting his back blown out by Reynold and now we have to hurry!" Porscha said.

"How'd you know?!"

"The suit, you dummy!"

Alec chuckled upon seeing the group arguing. It had only been a week but he was enjoying the dynamics with them. 

Fiore took his hand as they all headed for the hotel to get ready. He noticed Riya was slightly nervous, more so when Porscha signaled to them that paparazzi were nearby. 'Act natural, but know pictures might be taken'

He had not considered how scripted every move had to be until now, when mere cameras felt like a thousand curious eyes. 'No wonder she was so worried during the game...'

One trip on the limo later and they'd arrived at the Caesar's Palace to get ready. He didn't think he'd see such a famous and luxurious place in his lifetime only to now be checking in. 

Alec didn't not expect to walk in and see two familiar faces waiting for them at the lobby.

"Father, Mother?!" He asked upon seeing Demir and Catherine smiling at the group and dressed in their finest.

"Bonjour my sweet boy!" Cathrrine said before she hugged him. Demir too seemed pleased.

"I know this was meant to be more of a fast ceremony and such, but I wanted them to be here for us." Riya said with a smile.

Indeed the woman read his mind. As he had wished to have his parents present for the wedding even if it was all for the sake of an act. He was surprised she could tell, but then again, Riya always seemed to understand his unspoken workds.

"Thank you." He said before greeting them.

The groups were divided by gender and headed for their rooms to get ready. The men were quick to put on their suits, Fabio quickly brushed Sergei's long white hair while Demir helped Alec with his tie. "There we go, you're ready."

His reflection stared back at him, dressed in a white shirt black two piece suit and dark blue tie. His hair had been untied and brushed and he had shaved for the occasion, despite Riya joking that she liked his scruffy look. Well, at least he thought she was joking.

Alec took a breath, remaining calm and ready to see this through.

"I have to say, it was a surprise to receive a call from Riya informing us about the wedding. Both Catherine and I find her to be an exemplary woman, but a wedding and an adopted child this quickly is a bit alarming. Are you sure about this?"

His father's question had been one he pondered up until now. Was he sure? Was this for the best? Would he ruin this marriage like his first and mess up as both a father and husband again? But everytime he had those questions the memory of Riya and Fiore lighting up and smiling at him came to mind, and he knew the answer.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'll do anything for those two."

His father smiled. "Then let's get you to your wedding."

"The pretty mama in red, the soon to be mama in blue, the daughter in yellow and the bride in ivory! Just need someone in green and purple and we have a rainbow!" Fabio said as he arrived at the girl's suite to style Riya's hair.

"Hehe, we can save that for your wedding with Reynold." Riya joked.

"Oi! He has to propose first!" Fabio said.

She laughed as the stylist took his time gently curling her hair and applying soft make-up. She opened her eyes and wa screened with perfection. 

Her dress was even lovelier than the day she bought it, elbow length gloves covered her hands and wrists while white stockings and ivory pumps hid her braces, to conclude the look Fabio placed a tiara atop her head perfectly framing her long curls. 

"There we go. The queen is upon us." He said.

Queen, she'd once fancied herself as such. Nowadays that tittle didn't seem befitting anymore, but well, she was an actress. She could pretend she was worthy for a little bit longer.

"You look beautiful, mon cheri!" Catherine said. "Now for the final touch!"

The artist put her bracelet on her, she noticed Fiore wore hers too and they matched. 

'Yes that's right, we'll be matching like mother and daughter should.' She thought as she gently made sure the collar of Fiore's dress was perfectly straight.

The little girl smiled at her. "Nervous?"

"A little. You?"

"Yeah."

"It's gonna be okay. I promise we'll all have fun."

"Babygirl is right. Vegas weddings are always fun. Sergei and I should have a redo here, it's much more flashy than going to the courthouse." Porscha said with a laugh.

"Ah but my sweets the most important aspect of the wedding is the love. Not the location or celebration. I have faith in you both." Catherine said.

She felt guilty that both she and Demir assumed this to be the end of a natural courtship rather than a farce, but in truth a part of Riya relished in the sincerity and sweetness of the pair toward her. She didn't want them to know she'd been a vile snake toward their son, whom she did care for, even if she didn't show it well.

"Thank you."

The red haired woman bent down to hug her but also whispered in her ear.

"For the wedding night, do remember Çelik men are shy and need the passion lovingly coaxed out of them."

After hearing that she wouldn't need make-up blush. Riya felt her face heating up at the suggestion.

'Heh, maybe if I wasn't injured.' She mused. 

Whatever feelings she'd had for Alec before her heart was blackened and she took the worst road still remained. For better or worst. 

Fiore was seated with Alec's father at the front of the little chapel. The man could be a mirror of his son if not for the age difference and his black hair. She was uncertain of how to act. Her biological grandparents, much like parents had been nothing but dismissive when she stopped being a 'sugarcube' so she didn't have experience with that. 

However Demir didn't seem to mind that. He was gentle when he helped get on the seat, and smiled at his son who now waited by the 'altar' with the Elvis impersonator that was to officiate the ceremony.

'This all feels like a whacky dream.' She thought until music began playing and Catherine was to wheel Riya down the hall.

One glance at her and her smile and then at Alec's sweet expression and her doubts vanished. She knew the pair had their reasons for this union to take place, and that perhaps they'd all crash and burn should things go wrong, but for now she could let herself believe these two were her parents and that they'd be a happy family, regardless of reason.

Riya's heartbeat raced, but her mother-in-law placed a loving hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're going towards your future. I know it's a bright one."

A bright future, it would seem far away if not for the faces awaiting her at the end of this road. Her friends all smiled and awaited her arrival, just as her father-in-law did, and her daughter. But the one who seemed most mesmerized by her in a bridal dress was Alec. Who was at first surprised and blushing only to then smile sweetly as she was placed in front of him.

For his part, Alec's nerves dissipated as he stared at his bride to be. He was familiar with arranged marriages in his books and through history. Some were happy, some were dreadful, some dissolved after both parties got what they wanted and needed out of the deal. Theirs was to be merely transactional, a way for them to get what they wanted and keep Fiore safe, and yet...

One look at Riya in that wedding dress and the whole affair stopped feeling like business and more like a genuinely wanted coupling. Try as he might to deny it, he still had some love for the beautiful actress.

"Al'right, pretty people we are gathered here today to join these two souls in holy matrimony!" 'Elvis' said as he officiated the ceremony. "Riya Sharma, do you take this man to be lawfully wedded husband?" He asked.

"I do." Riya answered.

"And do you Alec Çelik, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Alec said without an ounce of hesitation.

"Then by the power vested in my by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the pretty mama!"

Painful references to Elvis aside, Alec did want this to be the most romantic part of the ceremony. He was aware that these would be the pictures gracing every media outlet, but also he knew both he and Riya could use a genuinely sweet moment amidst the chaos.

He was careful to pick her up in a princess carry. Riya turned red but did not protest, enjoying the gesture. Her dark brown eyes shimmered against his hazel green and with a bashful smile she pressed her lips against his.

It was only a soft kiss, gentle, loving and chaste, but he'd be damned if he denied his longing for more of it. Alec let Riya take charge but did pull her close and returned the gesture with equal intensity. For that brief second he could feel her chest against his, and their heartbeats racing together in synchronicity.

They pulled away, the sound of cheers and a few flashes brining them back down from the high of such a kiss. Riya wanted to ask if he was really acting, but she wouldn't dare do so, because if he said yes, she'd shatter again. As for her part, that kiss was definitely not an act.

Alec carried her bridal style back to the limo as the group headed to the resort once the ceremony concluded. With documents in hand and pictures taken, they were secure in their little scheme. 

The ride wasn't long and while he enjoyed the congratulations, laughter, and fun, he knew the best course of action would be to stay in the suite with Riya. It was easy to fool the press into reaching for the most lustful explanations.

Before they headed to their suite, Sergei had told them their luggage and Riya's chair were left in their room. Everything was ready.

"We stay in group suite and care for Fiore. We'll see you tomorrow." He said.

"Don't break the bed!" Fiore teased as she let the bodyguard carry her away on his shoulders to the group suite.

Riya laughed while Alec rolled his eyes. "Is it strange to say I'm growing used to it?' He asked.

Riya shook her head. "Not at all, it never stops with them. Our daughter at least has good humor."

'Our daughter.' Theirs, because they were married, because they were a family, because their fingers were now adorned with gold rings and he could genuinely call her Mrs. Çelik...It all felt like a dying dream he was having after going back to England hopeless and alone and putting an end to his misery.

"Alec?" Riya asked, still safe and carried in his arms, with her own around his neck. 

This wasn't a dying dream. It was real. It was what he hadn't dared want before but now knew he couldn't live without. 

"I'm fine, I think we should go to our room, unless you're down to gamble."

She chuckled. "Don't tempt me. I've been told I'm a pretty good poker player! One day I must test it against a professional!" Riya yawned silently. "Though not today. I just want some nice food and sleep."

"Then we'll have a relaxing wedding night."

Alec carried her to the suite, Riya was the one who opened the door, giggling slightly upon realizing that they'd done the threshold carry. 

He noticed it too, slightly flustered. It was all too easy for him to settle into the husband role with Riya. 

"Ohhhh they thought of everything!" Riya said with a smile.

Her staff had not only made sure that her wheelchair had been brought back and properly set up but they also had room service waiting for them in the luxurious suite.

Riya hummed in delight upon seeing the food was still warm and the champagne was non-alcoholic. 

"I guess we have to dig in, Mrs. Çelik." Alec said as he gently sat her down on the bed.

"I like the way it sounds." Riya mussed as she glanced at him.

Alec served her a plate and glass before taking food for himself. They decided to watch TV as they ate quickly changing channels upon seeing themselves on the screen. The All-Star season was airing again.

'Not yet.' He wasn't ready to see himself in that light. 

Alec couldn't face his countless sins without the help of a bottle just yet. He knew Riya thought the same as he winced upon seeing herself on the television. Neither said anything as he switched the channel. 

"News, Zodiac Manor, football reruns, is there anything good on?!" Alec protested.

"I think we get a movie channel." Riya said as she glanced at the guide in the nightstand.

With nothing to lose he changed the channel only to be reminded yet again of his transgressions when he saw they were playing A Tale of Two Cities.

"Isn't this the book you wanted back at the beach?"

Alec was surprised she remembered. "It is."

She smiled. "It's just starting, can we watch it together?"

"I'm not objecting but it's two and a half hours."

"That's not a problem. You and I have wasted more time."

That they did. Both remembered the hours upon hours spent on acting lessons that led to nothing, as Alec wasn't able to fool Jake back then. Despite that, neither of them regretted it.

So per Riya's request the pair watched the movie as they finished their dinner. Long after they were done she remained attentive to the lines and plot, specifically to the protagonist that was so very similar to the man she now called husband.

Riya had never read the book or seen any movies for it. She just knew of the iconic first line and deduced it was to be a tragic story. It's why she'd never bothered, she'd had her fill of tragedy outside of fiction. Why subject herself to more?

But in the quiet, cold room she remained silent and attentive, letting only the light from the television illuminate her face as she was immersed in the story. Riya kept from crying until they neared the end, Sydney Carson switched places with his beloved friend, and was sent to the guillotine instead. 

The last line did her in. As they guided the man that so closely resembled Alec to the guillotine and he spoke his last words before sacrifice was carried out. 

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known..."

And with that the camera panned away until the last shot of the film was a bloody guillotine falling down and causing the protagonist's demise.

Alec turned on the lamps and pressed power on the television. "So how did you li-"

Before he could ask he felt Riya hugging him tightly. Alec was confused but returned the gesture.

"I know the story is sad but I didn't think it would affect you like this." He whispered, gently comforting her.

"It's not the story, well not all of it...Sydney reminded me of you."

In the past he would've been slightly offended, but nowadays the comparison rang true. "I suppose we're both suicidal alcholics." He said with a laugh. "You don't need to worry, I don't plan to go to the guillotine."

"There are other kinds of sacrifice." Riya said.

Alec gently pushed the long curls out of her face. "This is not one. I've told you before, I view this union an honor, regardless of reason. I am not sacrificing Riya. I'm happy to still have you by my side. I only wish it wasn't at the expense of your health."

Always so soft spoken and elegant. She wouldn't dare say she found it very charming. "I'm honored to have you too." 

They remained close and lovingly holding one another for a few minutes. Before bed they carried out their sleep time routine, and thankfully the facilities were adapted so Riya had no difficulties handling herself alone. 

"Nice view." She joked as she sat on the king sized bed.

Given this was a one night stay neither of them brought pajamas, Alec would change into a different outfit tomorrow but for now he just wore the elegant pants of his wedding outfit. 

"I could say the same." He responded, slightly embarrassed that his eyes lingered on her too long.

Riya for her part didn't need to get changed either. Her dress had a detachable skirt, so she took off the skirt, gloves, shoes and jewelry, remaining only in ivory lingerie and stockings.

In other circumstances he would've been oh so tempted by this, given Riya was almost divinely beautiful in any outfit, but he knew this wasn't meant to be a temptation, but rather comfort. And contrary to whatever the media was assuming of them now, they were not in the mental nor physical state to be intimate. 

"Is this how you imagined your wedding night to be like?" She asked.

Alec couldn't discern if her tone was of guilt or curiosity, perhaps it was both. He answered honestly. 

"Not really, I never thought I'd remarry...even if I lived, I believe I was far too jaded to ever consider opening up my heart once again.

The truth is, I thought my first wedding would be my only wedding. I saved up so much for it to be perfect, and despite hating spectacle I made sure the affair was grand and photo worthy."

She smiled, finding the conviction adorable yet tragic given what came next. "What was it like?"

Alec sat beside her and thought back of a simpler time before his life fell apart and he still had youthful whimsy and romance within him.

"It was themed around Pride & Prejudice, that is Cheryll's favorite book and well...I booked the estate they used for Pemberly in the 2005 film."

"You got married in Chatsworth?!" Riya asked, in awe.

"I did, I wanted everything to be as acurrate to the novel as possible. The decor, theme, and even the outfits were based on the book. I cried so much when I saw Cheryll in her regency wedding gown, I think Catherine thought I was losing it. No mother, those were happy tears."

She chuckled. It was surreal to think of Alec dressed up like a regency groom crying tears of joy, but she'd seen glimpses of his overly romantic nature. It was a trait Riya loved about him.

"We had the reception in the manor. Just our core family members and some friends but it was beautiful. The night ended with a regency style ball before we departed for our honeymoon in Scotland...I used to think that was the happiest day of my life. Now, I would rather not recall it unless I'm asked."

"Sorry."

Alec shook his head. "Don't apologize, you were curious. 

If anything, maybe I should apologize to you. I didn't fulfill your request for a dream wedding. I highly doubt you wanted to be married by an Elvis impersonator in a Vegas chapel."

"Not exactly. While it was fun and I am looking forward to the pictures, the truth is the wedding itself was never my priority."

He raised an eyebrow. Riya made it no secret that she was a woman who loved the fancier things in life. Her jewelry, her fancy car and home, her designer clothes, it was all of the highest caliber and yet when it came to her wedding she didn't seem to want luxury? It puzzled him.

"I'm surprised. I thought you'd want a big desi wedding for yourself."

"Desi wedding, beach wedding, Vegas wedding, or even just going down to City Hall, it doesn't matter to me. The priority was always the groom." Riya said as she stared intently at Alec, as if to take in every detail of him. She then smiled. "I'd say in this case I got exactly what I wanted."

Alec felt as if a wave of joy was washing over him upon receiving such high praise. Was it her smile as she said it? Her sparkling dark eyes? Or the sweet words he thought he'd never hear again?

There was no time for him to ruminate, or even return the compliment as before he could Riya turned away and winced clutching the back of her neck

"Are you okay?" Alec said as he quickly checked on her.

"It's fine." She hissed slowly. "Sometimes I get back pain."

Right. The fall. They were not privy to the aftermath, as the cameras cut when she was in free fall into darkness. But Alec remembered hearing Yul screaming out her name and a crack that echoed in the dark cavern. No doubt her injuries extended beyond the two fractures.

She was not one to show pain, not in front of the camera, nor away from it. But try as she might she bit her lip and closed her eyes as she bore the ache. It would pass, it was okay, this happened often but it was bearable.

"Let me help you." Alec said before he stood and went to check the bathroom's kit. To his luck, there was numbing balm and painkillers.

He got back to the room and Riya was gritting her teeth and hugging herself with her eyes closed, trembling slightly. 

"I'll serve you some water and you can take the medicine. Then I'll give you a massage."

Riya glanced at him. "That's sweet of you, but I don't know if painkillers will do much. Remember the motel? The oxycodone overdose only lasted a few hours before I woke up and everything was aching again."

His eyes went wide. "Not even oxy helped you?! Riya you should tell Porscha about this!"

"No! No, don't tell her! Dr. Martin confirmed no other bones were broken and everything is healing as it should. There is literally nothing to be done but wait it out. I don't want Porscha worrying about me more than she already does, especially once she has the baby. Please, I'll handle it myself."

Alec sighed. "Very well, I'll keep it to myself, but then you may call on me instead. I don't want you suffering alone."

"Alright...Thank you."

Alec placed everything that was needed on the nightstand. He noticed that Riya's corset was still tightly laced on, and in the way.

"This- Um...How do i put it? Perhaps it would be for the best if you removed your corset."

Riya turned bright pink but then giggled. "If you wanted to see me topless you could've just asked."

"I don't mean it like that! Just...your corset is in the way, and the tight lacing might be making things worse."

"No arguments here. Alright, can you undo the ribbons, please?"

He did so without a complaint. Gently undoing the lace ribbons until the garment was loose. Riya quickly took it off, with her back towards him.

Alec wasn't trying to stare, but his gaze did linger on her a little longer than necessary. Her soft dark skin was as beautiful as always save for some dark bruises upon it. Guilt threatened to overtake him again, but for her sake he'd push it down. Riya forgave him, that is all that mattered.

"Lay face down on the pillows." He requested. 

Riya did as asked, making sure not to put pressure on her legs as she got in position. "Is this okay?"

"Yes. I'll try to be quick."

She gasped upon feeling his soft hand near her neck.

"Sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"No! My neck's just sensitive." Riya confessed.

'I'll do well to remember that.' Alec thought wickedly. He was careful to massage each area thoroughly, despite the time constraints.

Temptation was oh so difficult to fight. He'd already accepted that perhaps his heart still beat for Riya, and tonight he couldn't deny it. Not when gracing her skin still made him shiver, or when he was fighting against the desire to kiss down her back as he massaged her.

Riya was oblivious to this, though she herself was being lulled by his calculated loving touch. 'He's so good with his hands.' She mused, feeling her eyes grow heavy.

"When I get old I'll have to wait outside your house, because your hands can heal." She said.

Alec chuckled upon hearing that. "You stole that from a Cascada song."

"Guilty! But c'mon, 'How do you do?' is very fitting right now."

"Eurodance fan?"

"Dancing fan in general. I already miss it so much."

Alec finished the massage, feeling bold he gently placed a kiss on the back of her neck, making her shiver. "I promise I'll dance with you once you've recovered."

Riya turned red. Apparently Alec was a better flirt than expected. Still she remained calm and smiled as she rose up. Alec was already offering her his shirt to replace the discarded corset.

She gladly accepted, putting on the garment that still smelled like his perfume. With glassy eyes she glanced at him, his back was toward her, not even taking a peek as she got dressed.

"You're always taking such good care of me. Thank you. I swear I'll repay you one day."

He didn't expect to hear that. Alec glanced at her now that she was dressed. He was flustered by the sight of her wearing his shirt, and looking at him with those sparkling eyes that all but hypnotized him. 

Alec took her hand as they both laid down to finally sleep. He stared at her like one would stare at a golden sunrise.

"You don't have to repay anything. Being by your side is enough." He said before kissing her hand. "You're the reason I am here right now, Riya."

"I could say the same." 

"Then, no more deals or repayments. Let's just try to do better, little by little, and by the other's side. Is that agreeable?" Alec asked.

"Yes, I'd quite like that." Riya answered.

He held her as she nuzzled close. Riya knew this was another part to play. Her venom had caused this man enough pain, and yet she selfishly relished in his sweet way of caring for her. 'I should've realized how much you did love me once...' Regrets washed over, as she wished she could take back those last few weeks at camp and just tell him that yes, she had to see this through to her end for her own sake, but no matter what the outcome was he'd always have a place by her side. 

Riya pushed the thought away. Oftentimes regrets came back to drown her and she just didn't need that tonight. All she wanted was to softly drift away as her pain subsided and she was lovingly held.

'This is an awful lot like how I imagined my honeymoon to be...'

He woke up holding her, just as he'd dreamt of doing after that kiss and even after she'd left it clear there was to be nothing between them. He'd felt guilty for those dreams, but not anymore. Not when he woke beside her calm sleeping face and parted lips.

Alec kissed her forehead and headed out to the bathroom. After a shower and finally changing out of the wedding attire he sat at the vanity and began brushing his hair. For the first time in weeks, it wasn't falling off due to stress. Maybe he could grow it out down to his waist this time around.

Glancing at the vanity, he realized the room had an Alexa device. Alec chuckled to himself as he leaned close and whispered a command.

'Play Truly, Madly, Deeply by Cascada'

The machine beeped and followed his command. As the dance version of the song began to play, he saw Riya stirring in her sleep and slowly rising. 

"Heh, took my love of Cascada to heart?"

"Yes. I do love this song as well, it is very bouncy."

Riya smiled. "It is. DJ's got sick of me requesting it everytime I went dancing with Porscha."

Though I love the slow version too. Piano is such a pretty instrument."

Piano, just like Helena used to play for him, and later with him when he was old enough to learn. He wondered if there'd ever be a time he could listen to the piano version of this song again.

But for now he just enjoyed seeing a sleepy Riya swaying her head with the beat and singing along. Just as he was done with his hair he heard a knock on the door. It was Porscha.

"Morning newlyweds! I hope everyone's decent." She said as she came into the room.

"We're clothed, but decent? Never." Riya joked.

Alec laughed too though he then got embarrassed when Porscha saw the corset discarded on the floor and Riya wearing Alec's shirt.

The agent silently smirked and helped Riya. "Let's get ya squeaky clean and glowing. The others got a table at the buffet ready for us."

"Then we should get there before Fiore takes all the pancakes."

Alec gathered the little bit of luggage they had brought and tidied up the room while Porscha helped Riya in the bath. Once they came out he had to do a double take, as his wife was dressed in a black short dress and was now using his shirt as a 'jacket'

"Am I to assume you're stealing it?" He asked.

"Not stealing if you gave it to me! Besides, it looks good on me."

"That it does."

"Alright lovebirds, let's go. We have to get back to LA before the press begins to hound us. Tease the secrecy, you know."

"You're the boss!" Riya said.

As they left the cozy room he couldn't help but think that despite the odd circumstances this had seemed an awful lot like a real honeymoon.

Fiore was certainly not used to this. Just as she did with yesterday's dinner, Catherine cut up her food into little pieces and Demir brought her a nice dessert. 

It was a kind of affection she'd never been given before but now was terrified to be without. Her grandmother had helped her dress, get ready and now gently wiped her mouth as she got some blueberry syrup on her lips.

Porscha had finally returned with the pair. Fiore noticed they both looked chirpy and Riya had stolen Alec's long sleeved shirt.

"Giving me a sibling?" She joked.

Her grandparents, Sergei, and Fabio laughed.

Alec looked flustered but Riya just winked at them. "I'm afraid I'm not healed enough for that yet. Just had a nice night with the handsome nerd."

"No comment." Alec said.

"Ah kiddo, you must spoil your wife. We raised you to be attentive." Catherine told him.

"He'll be okay, love. We Çelik men love our feisty wives."

"That explains so much..." Fiore whispered. 

"See, even our grandbaby is aware!" Catherine said.

Grandbaby. Daughter. Child. All words foreign to her yet so very dear. She couldn't stop smiling through breakfast.

As the group finished the food Fabio headed out to retrieve the adoption papers. Fiore waited upon Catherine's lap, as the older woman put her hair in a cute ponytail.

In the distance she could see to the casino inside the hotel where Demir, Alec, and Sergei were playing poker and Riya and Porscha cheering them on.

"Did...Alec ever mention me to you?" She asked curiously.

"Hmmm? Oh yes! He told us of this brilliant child he met at camp. At first he was angry you took him out but with time I think he began to miss you. Even once said 'Never met anyone who outsmarted me before.' It was bittersweet. Until now, that you're here with us!"

So he'd said it? He didn't loathe her for this even back then?! Fiore had never been happier to be wrong.

"Good to know. Please never watch the show though. I wasn't a good kid then."

Catherine gently hugged her. "You've always been a good kid. Don't ever doubt it."

She really wasn't, but for a moment she let herself believe it. The rest of the group soon returned and they were to sign the adoption papers.

It was surreal to see Alec pick up that pen and sign everything without hesitation. The man had apologized for his words and reiterated to her how much she meant to him, how much he cared and how before Riya intervened he saw Fiore as his last reason to remain alive. Now he chose her to be his child, without a hint of hesitation.

Riya too signed the papers with a smile. They started out tense, and after the woman didn't help her in their alliance Fiore thought she'd hate her forever. But despite her rage she did feel sad over her fate, more so after what Alec revealed to her. Even if they had no prior connection, Riya included her in her plans, didn't hold a grudge and had been nothing but kind and sweet to her. Fiore was certain she'd quickly think of her as a mother. 

Finally it was her turn to sign, and with quick trembling hands Fiore sealed her fate. As of today she had a new family. Fiorella Ricci had been left in Milan, now she was Fiore Çelik forevermore.

Alec and Riya opened their arms for a hug, and there was no hesitation on her part to jump in and receive want she'd had begged for all her life. 

She was safe and loved at last.

"Another perfect, good job." Alec said.

"Thanks! Can you send it to grandma and grandpa?"

Alec rolled his eyes. Apparently one night was enough for Fiore to be charmed with her new grandparents, and vice versa. "Yes I shall send it. Feels like you wanted to go with them back to England."

He didn't expect the girl to quickly hug him. "Don't be silly! I don't want to go anywhere without you!"

He hid the tears well and just ruffled her hair. "Right back at you. C'mon, let's go tell the others."

By the pool Riya and Fabio were deep in conversation while Porscha was receiving water exercise lessons from her husband.

"Fiore has scored another perfect score on her homeschooling module." Alec announced.

Everyone clapped for her. 

"I'd like a tribute!" She joked.

"Then we will get you a tribute!" Riya followed along. "There are plenty of things to celebrate." She said as she passed them a magazine.

Fiore gasped as she saw the cover and Alec was stunned too. The cover was a picture of their wedding kiss, and most of the articles were speculation of them.

'Emmy winner Riya Sharma gets married?!' 'Secret romance between Alec and Riya! Will Riyalec last?' 'Rumors circulate about adoption, marriage, and a comeback from the injured actress.'

He didn't like the mocking nature of the titles, nor the fact that people would treat such a tender moment as a spectacle. This is what they wanted, this is what awaited, he knew what he signed up for and accepted it. But for him that kiss had been more than an act. Like every single one they'd shared before and even those it pained him to refuse.

Alec couldn't say anything before they heard Porscha groan and Sergei quickly carried her out of the pool.

"What's wrong?!" Riya asked.

"Baby's coming!" Porscha said.

The group knew the child was due any day now and rushed back in to get in the van and go to the hospital.

This time it wasn't him. Not his child, not his wife, not his business. Yet a part of Alec couldn't help but dread. 'Don't let this one be difficult too.'

And if I,
I could never find you,
Never mind,
I will not forget you.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: Search for the answers I knew all along...

All I have is one last chance
I won't turn my back on you
Take my hand, drag me down
If you fall then I will too
And I can't save what's left of you

Say something new
I have nothing left
I can't face the dark without you
There's nothing left to lose
The fighting never ends
I can't face the dark without you

It was frustrating to not even be able to pace around the waiting room. Riya was restless as she along with Alec, Fabio, and Fiore waited until Porscha gave birth. 

She had noticed Alec was restless too. The others she could understand, Fiore was a child and Fabio was always a bit on edge, but Alec was oftentimes the logical one of the team.

“Everything okay?” She asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, just nervous. When Cheryll had Daniel it was a complicated pregnancy and I am scared the same will happen here.”

“Well, childbirth is always a risky endeavor but from what I know Porscha is a healthy woman, she's done her exercises and the doctor said she was on active labor upon arrival so we can only hope for the best! Try not to let it get to you, I'm sure she doesn't want us to worry.”

“That we do.” He sighed. “The wait might be long but that's all we may do now. I'll try to be calm by the time the baby arrives.”

He'd been right in that assessment. Riya spent an hour reading the magazines provided by the hospital. She did enjoy the wild speculation the tabloids fabricated from her wedding to Alec. The majority of them fell for Porscha's machinations, and assumed the two had a secret romance. Others were less than kind and just thought the pair were too toxic for anyone else. Sure no bias there, idiots. She did take issue with some words however, not those that painted her in a bad light but rather Alec. 

‘As for her husband, Alec Çelik, is likely we will be seeing a divorce very soon given the couple allegedly does not have a prenup and this man might only be after the money of the talented yet conniving actress.’

Riya gripped the magazine tightly and shut it closed. She was not going to allow this type of slander to be said, not when she knew Alec didn't even want compensation for literally saving her life.

In an effort to calm herself she chose to take on Porscha's duties and go on social media to cleanse her comment sections. Many were gossiping and asking for details about her and Alec, but she wouldn't say anything just yet. For the plan to work, anticipation had to build, so Riya remained quiet and just vaguely said that she knew this was the right choice. 

It wasn't a lie.

Two hours later into mindless scrolling she saw Fiore put down her Switch, Fabio pocket his phone and Alec closing the book he'd brought. Sergei was walking towards them with a smile.

“He's here. Come meet child.” He told them with a glowing smile.

Fabio wheeled her while Alec carried Fiore. The group followed Sergei to a spacious room. Porscha was laid on the bed and glanced at them with a tired smile. The group addressed her quickly.

Fabio took her hand while Riya gently stroked her hair. “How are you?”

“Exhausted. But he came quickly and there were no complications or tearing. I'm counting that as a favor from the gods.” Porscha said.

“You did amazing, my heart.” Sergei said as he kissed the top of her head.

“If everything went well, how long are they keeping you for?” Alec asked.

“Doc said I'd have to stay for a day to get everything in order. Can you guys handle yourselves without me?”

“We shall, and if not I still have your list of recommended hospice nurses.” Riya reassured her.

“Good to hear. Now come meet my baby boy!”

Fabio gasped with joy and was misty eyed as Sergei picked up the blue blanket bundle and presented it to the group.

Sergio had his mother's tanned skin and light brown hair, but his eyes were big and silver like his father's. His face too resembled Sergei, and there was a small streak of white upon his hair.

“Meet Sergio Fabián Romanov.”

“Fabián?” Fabio said as he reached for the baby, who quickly wrapped a tiny hand around his finger.

“Yeah,” Porscha said. “We wanted him to bear your name too, if that's okay.”

“You kidding?! I'd be honored!” Fabio said.

She smiled with pride at the sweet scene before her, knowing her friends were all overjoyed as she was.

Alec smiled at the baby. “He looks an awful lot like his dad.”

Porscha groaned. “Nine months in my womb making me suffer and he looks just like his precious daddy! I'm happy but boy where did my genes go?!”

Again they all laughed and Sergei passed the baby to Fabio, who held him for a bit. He then gently passed him to Riya.

She hadn't felt this way since she held Eesha in her arms for the first time. The cute smile, the tiny hands that reached for her, and the cooing of recognition upon hearing her voice.

Riya was overjoyed, as if seeing a ray of light peek through a cloudy sky. ‘Welcome to this world, beloved Sergio.’

Alec was hesitant to hold the little one. He held newborns before, he had cared for Daniel when Cheryll was on bedrest, he shouldn't have been so afraid. Maybe he was fearful that the child would sense how rotten he really was.

But still Riya handed him the bundle, and he couldn't refuse her. Sergio was small and easy to hold, he stared at Alec intensely before reaching for him with his small hand. Alec let him grasp his finger and smiled.

“He likes you.” Sergei said.

Like him? Well sure, this was a newborn. Not enough to know the truth. But…babies sometimes went on instinct. No, that was a ridiculous notion! Sergio was just a newborn being curious…

Still, Alec gently swayed as he carried him, helping the baby remain soothed before Fiore requested to hold him. Fabio helped her sit down before Alec passed her the baby. It was admittedly sweet to see her so excited.

He felt Sergei gently placing a hand upon his shoulder. “I'm getting us food. Help me?”

“Of course.” 

The pair left the room, and he quickly felt Sergei's silver gaze upon him as they walked down the hospital halls.

“Something wrong? You seem distracted.”

“No, I was just thinking. Your son is adorable, holding him reminded me of Dany.”

“Ah, so you miss your son?”

“I think so? It has been two years since I last saw him. I wasn't the most present or attentive father when he was in my custody and yet there are times where I'd give anything to hear him running around the house chasing his football.

Other times I just relish the silence and am pacified by the thought that he's safe and happy with his mother and stepfather. Maybe it's for the best that I become nothing but a bad memory.”

Sergei nodded. “I see. It's a difficult situation.”

Alec sighed, that was an understatement. “I didn't have any doubts before. I knew I didn't want to be a father. But now, now I crave the chance to do well by him. Now I spend hours thinking of how to de well by Fiore. Is this really me or just the depression speaking?”

“...I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a father too.”

That made him stop walking. “Wait really?”

“My childhood wasn't normal. I grew up without family, in facility. I'm not good man, and did a lot wrong before meeting Porscha. So…I was scared to be a bad father too.”

“What changed?”

“I was eased into it. When Porscha said she wanted baby, I explained myself. She understood and was willing to wait, but I knew she wanted a child badly and resolved to put in effort.

We babysat her coworkers kids sometimes, from loudest newborns with cholics to older kids who bested us at chess. At first I thought it'd be disaster, but through wailing, pains, and sleepless nights, it all came easy to us. If we cared so well for children that weren't ours, we'd do even better with the ones that were. That is what convinced me I could do this, so could Porscha and here we are, with our son by our side.”

It made him happy to hear that. A story of a man who did change his mind and was now a giddy father. Sadly for Alec that wasn't the case.

“I do wish that had been the case for me too, but I don't know if easing myself into it would have made a difference. I foolishly agreed not out of a desire for parenthood but to please Cheryll. All I did back then was for her.”

“Aye, we have that key difference. When I told Porscha that I was uncertain, that there was possibility that I might never want baby, she understood. Porscha said she'd stay with me no matter what, because she wouldn't sacrifice our real joy for a hypothetical future. That put me at ease.

Your ex might not have meant harm, but in forcing you to embrace parenthood fast and perfectly she caused pain. More so with the divorce and after that.

I watched first season and you were not a bad dad, you cared, you still do. That's most important part of parenthood, the care and love. You're just not the traditional dad, but there's nothing wrong with that. So, try not to feel bad. You're recognizing mistakes and doing better, it counts for something.”

“That's very kind of you to say, thank you. I really appreciate it, Sergei. I'll take your advice to heart.”

“Don't mention it, what are friends for?” He said as he opened his arms for a hug. 

Alec smiled and reciprocated. It had been a while since he could be candid about his issues, not many could listen and understand without casting judgement. He hadn't just gained a family with Riya and Fiore, he had also gained new friends.

He'd do well to treasure them this time around.

Fiore was eternally grateful she didn't get siblings. The people who had raised her before didn't deserve to make any other child feel as worthless as she had once felt. However she did feel bad she had never gotten to hold a baby before, despite secretly having a soft spot for them.

Now however, she was on the hospital chair gently holding onto Sergio. The baby smiled at her and cooed while she gently rocked him to sleep.

“You're a natural.” Porscha said. “You'd be a good mom someday.”

“Me? I don't know…”

Her, a good mother? Debatable, Fiore wasn't sure she was even a good person. She wasn't going to put a child through that.

“You don't have to decide now. You got time to think it over, and it's never too late to change your mind.”

“When did you two decide?” She asked, passing Sergio to Porscha so that she could nurse him. 

“I always knew I wanted to be a mother. My father took off before I was even born and my mother regretted having me. Can't say I blame them too much, they were high school seniors. Some adults aren't ready for babies, much less teens.

After everything I went through with my mother I swore that I'd be the opposite of her. That I'd take care of my future kids with love and patience rather than scorn and pain. I'll make sure to keep Sergio happy and safe for the rest of our days…”

A flutter of admiration bubbled up in her chest. Porscha certainly was the protective type, she'd seen as much. The little bundle in her arms who just finished his meal, was in the safest hands he could be. ‘Lucky you, little Sergio. Treasure this when you grow up.’

“In my case, I've always been ambivalent towards childcare. Having no kids, having one, three, seven, biological or adoptive, I'd be happy either way. 

But on the chance that I did have them, that I was to be a mother then I was certain to give it my all to support my family well.” Riya said. The actress wheeled herself to Fiore's side. She gently patted Fiore's head. “And now that I do have a wonderful daughter and husband I'll make sure to do as intended.”

A wonderful daughter, she never thought she'd hear that. Fiore smiled and hugged her. “Thank you.”

A minute later Sergei and Alec arrived with enough spicy chicken for everyone to have seconds if needed, unless of course Porscha didn't devour it all before that.

“Flower, you're gonna bite your own finger off.” Riya joked.

“Babygirl it's been nine months without spicy food, coffee, or sushi, the pregnancy didn't give me pounds it made me lose em. Gotta get em back!”

Fiore chuckled, glancing at the newborn who slept peacefully in the bassinet. 

‘We're going to be okay you and I. Finally.’

Fabio knocked on the frame of the opened door. “Lookie here who I found by the lobby!”

Reynold had arrived holding a bouquet of blue and purple hyacinths.

“Hey, long time no see.” Porscha said with a smile.

“Hello. Everyone okay?” Reynold asked.

“Spiced. There's chicken if you want.” Sergei joked.

“No thanks. Just wanted to see if you were well.”

“I'm tired but it'll pass. Do you want to meet the baby?”

“I'd love that.”

The rest of the group motioned to her that they'd be outside. Leaving her, Fabio, and Reynold in the room.

Porscha gently picked up her sleeping bundle and passed it to Reynold. The man had left the flowers upon a nearby table, eager to hold the child. He smiled as he took in every detail of his face. “He's beautiful.”

“He has good genes.” Porscha joked.

Reynold glanced at her. “I am sorry. I shouldn't have sprung the news on you back then so brazenly. I've never been good during emotional crisis or providing comfort. You shouldn't have been left to handle this additional stress. I was wrong to do what I did.”

“I'm sorry too. I went off too aggressively, you were being objective and calm and my hormonal ass lost it. My apologies.”

“No, don't ever say sorry for protecting your own. I'm glad that you did that. Means that Riya is in good hands no matter what. I'm really proud of you.”

She got misty eyed at those words. “Thanks Rey.”

“I hate to spoil the moment, or your rest for that matter but we have news.” Fabio told her.

“Hmmm, good or bad?” Porscha asked, already dreading whatever coming sorrows she'd be told of.

“Depends on what the cards have in store for us.” Reynold said. “Aiden Brooks and James Costa are rumored to have moved into a penthouse here in LA.”

She sat up upon hearing that. “No way! When?”

Fabio showed her his phone. “Today, I saw the news while you were in labor. Didn't want to say it until Rey was here too. 

As far as I know we might not cross paths with them unless they go for a project Riya is casted on. The pair is pursuing acting. James seems to have bagged a few roles already. For Aiden we'll have to wait.”

Her mind conjured up the chessboard they were all laid upon. Two pieces were now added. 

‘Aiden and James, former cast members, safe to call them enemies. Not as influential or strong as a king but not as weak as pawns. 

Aiden is a rook, he was the sane man of the zany cast, defensive oh so defensive, immovable in his conviction to target Riya. He must be monitored.

James is a bishop. The foresight and strategic planning won him season two. He wasn't a problem in All-Stars due to being the first boot. But that is just it. He was the first boot. He'd been targeted in both seasons. The only one who went after Aiden was Yul…

In the end, a rook can cause more damage than a bishop.’

Porscha cleared her throat. “James does not care about Riya. He doesn't like her but he isn't antagonizing her. The man who prevailed over her isn't as invested in her downfall as the one she wronged twice already. Aiden has been out for blood since the start of the All-Star season and began his campaign to get her out since episode 9. He's the one we need to focus on.”

“Are you certain?” Fabio asked.

“Yes, but let's get a second opinion. Check my purse, my tarot deck should be there.”

The blonde did as he was told and both him and Reynold stayed at her side as she got ready to do a reading.

Porscha picked up the cards and shuffled them with her eyes closed, she then chose to ask her question as the hand of fate guided her own.

‘Oh goddess and wise cards, show me the fate of Riya Sharma with these new developments.’

She chose the three cards when she felt it was time then she placed them face down upon the attachable table tray of her hospital bed. Porscha turned them around and all of them were in their upright position. She however gasped in horror.

“I don't know a thing about these…Is this good or bad?” Reynold asked, staring at the cards.

“I can't tell either but it doesn't look too good to me." Fabio said.

Porscha nodded, looking down at the reading 

“Three card reading requires you to pick a card for the past, the present, and the future. This reading has tragedy all around.” Porscha explained pointing to the first card. It was a tower falling apart, with people falling from it. “The card for the past in this reading is The Tower. It represents upheaval, unavoidable tragedy, danger, and disruption.”

“I am to assume this refers to the scorpion's cave?” Reynold asked. 

Porscha nodded. “To me it goes back further. I think it refers to the underwater cavern that nearly sunk Riya's dreams. That was the beginning of the tower's collapse.” She sighed pointing to the second card. It had an image of a heart being pierced by three swords.“The middle card is the present. The Three of Swords represents sorrow, disillusionment, betrayal, heartbreak, and dwindling health.”

None of them had to voice it, the trio knew this was accurate to the health complications, heartbreak, and scorn the actress now faced. Porscha particularly knew this was a horrible card to get.

“Well…that's just the present. What does the future card mean?” Fabio asked, trying to stay optimistic. Even if the card he pointed at was of two individuals being shackled by a demon.

Porscha looked at him trying not to look too dejected. “The last card of the reading is The Devil. It represents enslavement, loss of power, addiction, and darker instincts.”

“Loss of power? Does this mean that by your reading Aiden and James shall dethrone Riya?” Fabio asked, worried.

“It's a possibility, but while I do think we need to be wary of the pair I wouldn't go as far as to say they fit the devil's description.” She answered.

Reynold groaned. “They might not, but they're not the only looming threat.”

“What do you mean? Who else is there?!” Fabio asked.

“Connor Blake.” He answered with a steely expression. Neither of them had kept their disdain for the man a secret. Not from each other at least.

Of course. Who else but the man who started this whole debacle by demanding loyalty to meaningless principles? Who else but the one who made the tower crumble and then stabbed the heart? He was this reading devil, no doubt.”

“Are you certain?” She asked.

“Positive. You told me what he said, and how he feels Riya has escaped punishment. The man is set in his ways of ‘delivering justice’ so to speak. He has the money, rage, and the time to strike back.”

“We discussed this a few days back but didn't think it'd be prevalent until much later.” Fabio said.

“Perhaps, I should ask again. A single reading should suffice this time.” Porscha put the cards back in her deck, shuffled them again, and got ready to confirm or deny the bad omens they had.

‘Oh Goddess and wise cards, what awaits us in regard to Connor Blake? Will we be able to prevail against his machinations?’

With her question asked she let the Triple Goddess guide her hand, and chose a card, placing it facedown and revealing it. It was upright and it made her gasp. “Fuck! Fuck no!”

“That…that does not look positive.” Fabio muttered looking at the card.

“What even is this?” Reynold asked, looking perplexed at the card upon the table.

The card had a man laid face down on the ground with ten swords upon his back. “The Ten of Swords. It represents a painful end, imminent defeat, and a period of intense loss…”

“So that's it?! He will win?! No, fuck that!” Fabio roared. “Let me do a reading!”

“I thought you used bone divination over cards.”

“I do but…but I refuse to let our girl down. She isn't alone in this! Whatever awaits her we shall all face it together! That has to be enough to change fate!”

Changing fate…They had to. No matter the cost they'd have to. “Here's the deck. Shuffle it, ask a question in your mind, and then put the card or cards down.”

After Porscha explained Fabio took the deck, shuffled it and closed his eyes. He then selected three cards and placed them facedown on the table tray.

“What'd you ask?” Reynold inquired.

“What our fate would be, if we faced this together.”

The cards were turned around, all of them upright and giving a far more positive outcome than the last two readings.

“Is this good?” Fabio asked.

A card of an upside down figure hung by his leg was the first card. Followed by a couple holding two cups on the next and finally there was a decade of cups atop the final card which had people celebrating underneath them.

Porscha smiled. “It is. A bittersweet past is reflected in The Hanged Man, which represents sacrifice and ultimate surrender.” She explained as she looked to the card of the present. “The Two of Cups is the present. It represents balance, connections, harmony, and soulmates…”

It was befitting. A past connection had been what saved Riya, Alec, and Fiore. And past connections weere what kept them too by the actress side more than any labour obligations. Alec had mended bonds with his family and the group was growing close too, then there was the wedding and the birth of her son for the two of cups. Yes! Yes, the cards were befitting! Which left…

“What does the future hold?” Reynold asked.

“The Ten of Cups…It's my favorite card. It represents family, fulfillment, togetherness, and happily ever after.”

The group all smiled. “So that is the answer. Riya's fate individually is sealed as tragedy, but with us she's freed from it, and we will all get the fulfillment we crave.” Fabio said.

“Then we shan't forget that. I am not a man of fate nor divination but if your readings are to be believed then it is of utmost importance that we remain protective of Riya.” Reynold told them. “These arrivals and the previous sorrows are not to fade in a fortnight. Everyone must be ready to counter.

We haven't seen the last of The Devil…”

“Are you sure? I can yell at them, I can make them all leave, you know I'd do anything for you, right?” Riya said.

Eesha nodded, dressed in a pastel blue sari and adorned in her finest for the occasion. “It's okay. If I fight it, they'll all be more persistent. If I meet him and at least make an attempt, mom and dad can't claim I didn't give it a try.”

Riya sighed. “Learning from my mistakes, I see.”

“Oh I didn't mean it like that-”

“I know sweetie. I just worry.”

Eesha pulled her close in a hug, standing on her tiptoes so she could press her forehead against Riya's.

“Don't. I'll be fine. I have you, even if you're a continent away. One Sharma will make it in Bollywood and the other shall thrive in Hollywood. No family, man, or marriage will get in the way of that.”

Riya abruptly woke up, the car was slowing down. She still had her phone in her hand and much to her chagrin, there were no new messages from Eesha since the day they left the motel behind.

‘Maybe mom and dad are reading the messages. I'll just wait a bit longer.’

She was still anxious as to whether or not her parents would show up at her doorstep, ready to drag her back to India and out an end to her ‘nonsense’ Funny, It wasn't nonsense when she was thriving, now was it? Finally she was praised and acknowledged like her doctor, lawyer, and banker cousins. But not anymore, now that uncertainty and agony came back she wasn't worthy of praise, only correction. 

Eesha was more agreeable. She met suitors, was still dating one, hell Riya still had the photo from that outing, but despite her calmer nature she knew her sister wasn't going to stand for having her dreams dismissed. ‘You already messed up with me, don't do the same to her.’

“Riya?” Fiore asked, gently pulling on her sleeve.

“Hmmm? Sorry, I was distracted. Is there something you need, sweetie?”

“No, I was just telling you we are here.”

Oh, she hadn't noticed they'd arrived. Alec and Sergei got out of the van and the platinum blonde picked her up and placed her on the chair. 

“Let's all get some rest. Today's been an eventful day.” Sergei said.

Riya didn't need to be told twice. She helped get Fiore settled in, then went to her room and got ready to sleep herself. 

‘Seems like I am getting used to this.’ She thought.

An unexpected knock on the door startled her. “Come in!”

Alec opened the door and closed it. The man looked tired but concerned. “Sorry to bother you, were you going to sleep?”

She nodded. “I'm in no rush. Do you need anything?”

“I just wanted to check up ok you. Fiore noticed you were dissociating during the ride back and well, we worry.”

Riya smiled. “You're sweet. There's no need to worry, at least not about me. I was just thinking about Eesha.”

Alec recognized the name, that was Riya's younger sister. The only family she'd addressed in her goodbye letter…

“Oh, then is Eesha well?”

“Last time I talked to her she was well but that was in the tour bus. She hasn't texted me back since then and you know what's likely to happen if my parents come here. I don't want her to pay for my mistakes.”

It wasn't something he could relate to. Alec was an only child and for all that had happened in his youth, his father had been supportive in his choices, for better or worse.

“From the little I know of your sister she seems to adore you. And regardless of what happens you shouldn't blame yourself for someone else's decisions. Should worse come to pass I think Eesha knows she has a place here with you. As for your parents, we'll deal with that if we have to, but…I need to know. Riya, are you okay with severing ties?”

Cutting ties? Well…there were times when she came close to. When she heard praise for the ‘actually accomplished professionals’ in her family and recieved nothing but scorn. When she had to run away four years ago because she just knew that whoever else they paired her up for a suitor would be her parent's final choice, it was between a shackle of a ring or a cacophony of screaming and scolding. When she was cold or hungry half a world away and knew requesting as much as a cent would be met with refusal and abandonment, and most recently when she knew that even at three decades old her ‘judgement’ wouldn't be trusted.

And yet, even with all of that the idea of fully tearing herself away felt as if she'd fallen again and every bit of her broke. It wasn't malice, she knew it well. That this was protection, though suffocating and rigid, but protection none the less. Her parents feared she'd be left with nothing, they believed the only way to truly shine was with security, that their daughters were but water out the door because they'd need providers rather than taking care of themselves alone. Perhaps that's why they didn't take offense to her former relationship, they believed she'd be cared for. ‘Yeah right!' She thought. In their old fashioned views she felt trapped but never unloved, just misunderstood. 

But there was a choice to make…

“I don't know. I don't want to ever tear away from them, but it could happen should things grow dire…”

“I'll be here for you, we would all be. And for what is worth, you're a Çelik now, you have another set of parents that love you too.”

It was a sweet sentiment, one that caused tears to flow before she could stop them. So Alec silently dried them and let her lean on him.

“It'll be okay.” He said gently. “Do you want me to give you another massage?” He asked.

Riya smirked. “Want to touch me again so badly?”

He turned beet red, not know how to avoid the accusation without a badly acted denial.

“I just want to make sure you're um, uh, pampered!”

There it was, that beautiful laugh that made the world seem a little brighter. Riya smiled and nodded. “Then I'll let you pamper me. Truth is the aches haven't been bad these past few days but you can never be sure.”

“Then let's call it preventive care.”

He knew he couldn't speed up her or his recovery, but at the very least in moments like this he could lessen their burdens with some humor and affection.  

‘I wonder if this all could've been avoided if we'd been like this from the start.’

No, it wasn't time for regrets. He just chose to focus his attention on Riya's soft bruised skin, and making sure she was cozy. What was done was done, but the future he could change, no matter what awaited.

Riya purred in delight at the gentle touch. It had been too long since anyone was that sweet with her.

“You're good with your hands.” She said drowsily.

“So I've been told.”

“I would put you to the test if I could move properly.”

She could hear the blush in his flustered laughter. Maybe it was a biased thought but she thought Alec's voice was always very soothing.

“I'd be honored.”

As sleep slowly took her, she did have a bittersweet thought.

Alec was the kind of man she'd bring home to her family without a second thought. Even if she knew he wouldn't be up to their standards.

‘He's up to all my standards, that's all that matters.’

Ah, but that she'd known since they came back from their space challenge, and she found his hazel gaze shimmered more than starlight itself.

Swallow me under and pull me apart
I understand, there's nothing left
Pain so familiar and close to the heart
No more, no last, I won't forget!

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: My Hands are Broken

Promise me you'll try
To leave it all behind,
'Cause I've elected hell,
Lying to myself.
Why have I gone blind?
Live another life.
You…You!

It used to happen every other week, now every few days, and finally daily. Alec felt as if he'd woken up with a hangover, which was impossible given he hadn't drank since the conclusion of the show. These migraines were getting worse and worse by the day. Still, his two years spiraling had thought him how to remain functional during such ailments.

He stretched, did his morning routine, and headed downstairs for breakfast. The past few days had been quiet for the most part, which should've been an anomaly given the circumstances.

He was greeted by the sight of Reynold furiously typing away at his laptop on the dining room table while Fabio sat across from him and gently cradled a sleeping baby Sergio. 

“Good Morning, Alec. There's fresh fruit salad and yogurt on the fridge if you're hungry. I'm afraid I cannot cook right now.” Fabio said.

“Morning to you both. Thanks for the food. I can cook lunch later if you want.”

“Oh that'd be great. We're currently planning schedules and giving the new parents a break.”

He understood. If there was something Alec didn't want to think about, it was the sleepless nights endured for nearly two years straight when Daniel wailed at the top of his lungs for hours on end. He did not miss the newborn stage.

“I'll wake Fiorella and Riya at 11. Porscha and Sergei can sleep until they themselves wake up.” Reynold said. “No messages from the Black Widow's gambit team but an animated movie offered to cast Riya as a voice actress and will provide accommodations. We're getting back on track.”

“Good, little by little. Right munchkin?” Fabio said, directing his gaze to Sergio.

Sergio didn't answer Fabio's question as the baby was both only five days old and sleeping. Still it was nice to see his presence soothing the already rowdy household.

‘Everything is going well. Now if only the headaches would stop.’ Alec thought as he lingered for a moment, masking his pain.

“You okay?” Reynold asked.

“Yes.” He lied. 

There was no need to add more stress to the group.

“I am fine. I've just been busy, but you don't need to worry, really. It's you who I am concerned about sis.” 

Eesha's voice was soft and calm, as her call was what woke Riya up. Thankfully her sister sounded in good spirits. 

“I'm well. The doctor said recovery will be quick if I keep following the proper instructions. Porscha is taking great care of me despite it all, but I am making her rest too. We'll both be fine soon.”

“That's good to hear but…I don't know if that'll be enough to deter mom and dad. They're set in their ways.”

Of course. She knew Suraj and Anjali Sharma would be ready to drop by her door at a moment's notice. If anything it had taken them longer than expected. Was this for a false sense of security? Perhaps, but it didn't matter. It had given her enough time to keep herself and her new family safe, regardless of what awaited.

“Then so be it. I'm not letting them run my life. If I didn't bend in my teens I won't do it now.” Riya said.

“Aren't you scared they might disown you?” Eesha asked in a pained uncertain tone.

Riya sighed. “I'm terrified. I can't tell you how much that would hurt me. But no mater what they do or say, I am not changing my mind. You and I had to see everyone else gain favor either for being male, intellectual, or both. I'm not abandoning my dreams for anyone, much less the people who still think of them as lesser.”

‘You're always so determined. I wish I could be more like you.” 

She winced. “No, Eesha. Being like me isn't as good as you might think. If anything I wish I could've been as smart and sensible as you, would've saved myself some heartaches.

I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always think of you as my brilliant baby sister. You'll always have a place in my heart and my home. So if things ever change, run to me, and I'll keep you safe.”

She heard a sniffle on the other side of the line.”You're amazing, don't ever think otherwise. I promise I'll run to you if I have to.”

“Good, never forget that. I have to go but I'm happy you called. Text me more often. I really miss you, and I am glad you're okay.”

“Same to you. I love you, Riya. I hope everything gets better for you soon.”

“Thanks Eesha. I love you too.”

With the call concluded she sighed and left her phone charging. Downstairs she saw Alec helping Fiore with her homeschooling modules, while Fabio and Reynold were working on a laptop.

“Morning!”

Everyone looked at her and smiled, greeting her or waving

“Excellent news! I've gotten you a voice acting role! We can even have you work here too in the studio room if we get the set up.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Really?! Oh thank you so much! When do I start?”

“Next week, I already have the character's animation samples and it seems you're to voice a snake. It's an animated children's movie based on the Chinese Zodiac, so we must do some research beforehand.”

Snake for a snake? Alright haha she saw the irony. But hey, she'd take it. Animated movies were not her specialty in acting but she did enjoy watching them from time to time. It was a good way to expand her resume.

“They also loved your singing voice. Seems like ‘No matter how hard we try’ was a sleeper hit!’” Fabio said.

She giggled.”I had fun singing but I say the song's success is owed to Alec.”

The former librarian looked puzzled and raised his eyes. “Me?”

“You wrote a killer song! If not for the stage malfunction I know we would've won.” She said. “Honestly, I should thank you for more than that. I know it would've been me that night if you hadn't let me join the villains alliance.”

Alec smiled. “Happy to help. Performing isn't my forte, but I had a lot of fun too. And I am glad we kept you around. You are a joy to have in any group.”

Before she could even get flustered she heard Fiore laugh. “Alright lovebirds stop flirting in front of my algebra homework.” Fiore said. 

“You say that yet I graded it and you had only three mistakes. I think your homework will survive this.”

The child's eye roll made her laugh. Along with the smug knowing grins on her friend's faces. ‘Oh shut up! I know the both of you are going to get married to each other someday!’ She thought. 

After breakfast and once Porscha woke up, Riya requested she help her with the Zodiac research. Sergei took care of the baby for most of the day but by dinnertime Sergio wanted his mom.

“Awww, is my prince missing mama?”

“He was happy to have bottle and sleep on my chest, but now he wants you.” Sergei said with paternal sweetness as he passed her the baby.

“You have fun with dada?” She asked.

Sergio didn't answer and just fell quiet as she moved her dress assside and nursed him. “We should have dinner soon as well.”

“You and Fabio can't keep cooking for us all. Should we call a chef?” Riya suggested.

“Hmmm, that's not a bad idea. I think Jules would be up for it. Let me just put my sweetie to bed and I'll call.”

As Porscha said this she noticed Sergei was looking at is phone. “Hmm, if it's okay, can we have a guest over for dinner?”

“Sure, who is coming over?”

“Napayshni. Our dear friend wants to bring baby gifts.”

Oh, this day just kept getting better. 

Fabio had the kitchen ready for professional use, Reynold had to be pried away from his laptop to take a break from the screen for a while, Porscha had put Sergio to sleep in the living room bassinet and Sergei was setting the table.

“Where's Alec?” She asked.

“Lover boy is done helping Fiore with the modules. She asked for some game time as a reward.”

This she had to see. Riya wheeled herself upstairs and gently peeked into Fiore's room. She was gleefully golding the PlayStation 2 controller and frantically pressing buttons. Alec looked irritated and attempted to counter, but as soon as she heard the words K.O. emit from the TV and Fiore cheered, she knew who'd won the match.

“Having fun?” Riya asked as she opened the door.

“I was beaten by a wooden robot, but otherwise yes this is fun.” Alec said in a defeated tone.

“Game came out before I was born and I'm already beating the veteran.” Fiore beamed.

Riya laughed. “Good job! I didn't think you'd enjoy Tekken 5 that much.”

“It's fun! Did you play it often?”

“Yes, my sister loves it and so did my former roommates. Whenever Reynold got me those early auditions I'd spend a few hours playing to calm down. Glad you're giving the game a good use after all these years.”

Her old obsolete consoles had been one of the few luxuries she kept when her economic situation was dire. She was glad her daughter now enjoyed them.

Fiore passed her the controller. “Want to play again?”

“I'd like that, yes.”

With controller in hand she chose her favorite character, giggling slightly upon seeing Alec's choice.

“What?” He asked.

Fiore smirked. “Your character and Riya's character are a couple.” 

“What? I don't know the lore of this game!”

“Hmmm, determined to battle me and wed me in every universe?” Riya said.

She thought Alec would just be flustered or laugh nervously. Instead he looked pensive for a moment before smiling at her. “I'd be fond of such a fate.”

Now it was her turn to be at a loss for words and turn bright red.

“Sappy. Match's about to start! Lock in, nerds!”

Riya was startled by Fiore's voice and both she and Alec quickly focused their attention on the match. She noticed he wasn't a bad player, and he did try to use combos to beat her in the fight. However Riya knew this game by heart, more so when she played as her favorite character. So while Alec put on a valiant effort she claimed victory in the end.

“Did you just finish me off with a slap to the face?” Alec asked, bewildered.

“Yep. Oh c'mon Chaolan's a masochist, you shouldn't see what happens between these two during story mode.”

Fiore's giggle told her the little one had played that as well.

“I am now concerned.” Alec muttered as he put his controller down. “But regardless that was a good game.”

“Yeah, keep practicing, you'll win soon enough.”

“We shall see. Though now I'm rather curious about what you two are snickering about. I'll have to play the story mode.”

Riya grinned. “Please do, I'm curious as to how you'll react.”

“He'll ask to recreate it.” Fiore said.

Before either could protest they heard Fabio calling them out from the first floor. “Napayshni and Jules are here!”

“Time to greet the guests, everyone.”

The group followed her downstairs as she made her way to the living room. Napayshni was already there, holding the newborn. The man had brought a cradle, baby clothes, and Lakota decor.

“Be blessed, little one. Welcome to this world!” He said to the baby, who was soothed in his slumber by the deep grandfatherly voice. The man then noticed them. “Oh hello! It's good to see you all again! Congratulations on the wedding!” 

“Thank you! It's good to see you too! I take it you're having fun with the new family member?”

“You'd think that after holding so many little ones the experience would feel less special. But to this day I marvel at these tiny lives when they're presented to me.”

Understandable, she too find it adorable to hold a baby when given the opportunity. Soon enough Riya heard the men helping her other guest carry over her produce to the kitchen.

Jules was still as lovely as the last time she saw her. Darker blonde hair tied in a bun, her slightly tanned skin and her silvery emerald gaze was hidden by her shiny glasses. No one would guess she was closer in age to Reynold than to her.

“Just got done unloadi- Riya! I have not seen you in so long!” The chef said as she gave her an affectionate fist bump. “Porscha told me things took a turn but I didn't expect it to be so drastic!”

It was then when the chef noticed Alec and Fiore. “Oh hi! I'm guessing you're our new arrivals! Jules Bronte, professional chef, nice to meet ya!”

“Nice to meet you too!”

Among small talk and introductions she felt at ease. If not for her bruised body, things would be just as they were before All-Stars. Well, save for a few welcome exceptions.

“Juju, do you want to hold the baby?” Porscha asked.

“No, I don't. You know I'm not a baby person, girlie. Plus cross contamination. Let Mr. Howell enjoy the newborns presence. I have to start feeding you all.”

“Fair enough. Do we set up the terrace then?”

“If you may, and we can yap while I cook. That makes time pass by faster.”

She wouldn't refuse that. The group remained in the dinning table while Jules quickly got to work. “Catch me up queen. What the fuck happened in the season?! I haven't seen it.”

“What didn't happen…” She sighed. “I guess I can tell you how it went down for me.”

They listened as she spoke. Alec had thought he knew it all. That she came to the show to further her blooming career, that it was just a game she wanted to conquer. But her reasons went further.

“I was so close to the gold last time, I wanted to try and reach for it again. This time I'd know if the defeat was my own or…caused by outside circumstances.”

The outside circumstances being a betrayal that took place a year ago and Riya couldn't seem to forget. He didn't think she was still wounded by it, but perhaps he should've. 

His mind returned to that day when they were all trying desperately to make Fiore win the comebacks. He'd been fixing the glider as Riya now argued with Connor, who had slipped from their grasp and now became another obstacle.

‘Now you know what it's like to have a helper that makes you lose!’

He hadn't been able to turn back and gauge their reactions, as he had to focus on the task at hand. Still, as he finally tightened the screw, Alec took note of the silence following that accusation. It couldn't be refuted, because it was true…

“So I played rough and dirty from the beginning. And I was lucky enough to get pulled into the best alliance that this game has ever seen!”

She said that glancing at him and Fiore. It was genuine praise with a loving smile. He wanted to melt every time she turned that beautiful smile his way.

“We were doing great and picked off the strongest opponents first. Sadly it wasn't enough because Connor returned and unified the fragmented hero team. And as they began to unify, we in turn fell apart.”

Her big brown eyes were downcast at that. He wasn't sure if she was referring to the Villains Alliance or to them specifically, yet he reached for her hand all the same. His gentle grasp seemed to be reassuring and Riya smiled.

“It's safe to say that bridges were burnt and many mistakes were made. I reached finale again, but by chasing the gold so desperately I fell to pieces and settled myself with bronze.

It wasn't in the cards for me to win the game, but I won myself a husband and daughter. I consider that a far better prize.”

It…it didn't sound like she was putting on an act for Jules or Napayshni. Still his more distrustful and cynical side couldn't quite believe the words. 

‘Fiore is a worthy prize, but you're not!’ His mind roared at him.

The chef had been listening attentively as she cut the ingredients up and distributed them for future prep, present use, and other dishes.

“Awww! Well, I am sorry to see you got hurt, and I'll do everything I can to help you heal as both an employee and a friend. But I am happy to hear you got something precious all the same.” Jules told her.

Riya seemed content to hear that and again she glanced their way.

‘Don't lie. A win, the gold, the prize, it would be worth more than this end! You deserved better than the fate I helped bring upon you!’ Alec thought. 

“Terrace is set up!” Fabio announced. “Reynold is putting Sergio upstairs before dinner and Porscha is still wobbling around with Sergei's help.”

“I can hear you, blondie!” Porscha growled as she and Sergei sat down at the table. “It's hard getting used to not having the baby bump and extra weight. I should exercise when able.”

“Rest up, love. I'll help Jules with preparations.” Sergei said.

“Ever the gentleman. Thanks Serg!” Jules told him as he got into an apron and gloves.

Before he could even attempt to help Sergei accidentally dropped a glass measuring cup. It shattered on impact with the floor.

“Shit! Sorry, I'll clean it up.” He apologized. 

“I blame Connor for this.” Porscha said nonchalantly, earing a chuckle from the chef.

“Speaking of, I take it the old man is old news then?” Jules asked.

Riya sighed, and Alec noticed she looked more tired than sad. “You guess correctly.”

“Oh thank fuck!” Jules said before catching herself and clearing her throat. “Sorry! I don't wanna be that person, but he knows what he did!”

“You really hate him, don't you?” The actress asked, amused.

“He. Knows. What. He. Did!” Jules reiterated.

“Gotta agree with her. Old man was set on destroying you. We wanted him gone before season started.” Sergei said.

Now this was news to him, and seemingly to Riya as well. “I…didn't think you all disliked him that much.”

“Sugar daddy over here was just, how do I say it? Too set in his ways. I noticed he got slightly jealous whenever Porscha or Sergei would jokingly flirt with you, he didn't like the Kaali altar, and he asked you to give up your career after one measly date. All that's fine and dandy if that's what you want, but it was jarring to see your partner take offense with many things that made you happy.” Fabio explained.

“I have to agree with Fabi here. I disliked him before we met. When I first watched your season and he gave up on you at the cusp of victory, just because he disagreed with your methods. Win or lose I know I would've sworn that man off for the rest of my days!

Trust me, babygirl, I did try for your sake. But I doubt there's ever any force in this world that could make me like Connor Blake.” Porscha said.

“I never really liked him much either. Boomer energy radiates off him. I wish I hadn't listened to him before.” Fiore said.

Riya glanced at Alec. “How about you? You were friends, but now do you hate him?”

What was there to say? Just the truth, one he didn't like much but had grown to accept. “I don't hate him. Not now at least.

The truth is I did grow to care for him as a friend during the game, and I'll admit I felt guilty for not being clear with neither him nor you. I was happy we became friends again and perhaps if not for the things that happened before we departed the hotel we'd still be friends but…I can't say I agree with his need to have ‘justice’. Much less with the things you've all mentioned.

I guess we were all on different paths. Best to accept that than to cause a tragedy.”

“I see.” Riya muttered. “The truth is I was no saint either. Maybe that's why I didn't think you'd all hate him, given you understand me.”

“As an outsider to the situation, and someone who's never met the man personally, I should say I was never fond of him either.” Napayshni explained. “Sure, he thought he was helping you and perhaps did what he did with the best of intentions. But good intentions seldom equate to the right path.

This man cost you your well earned victory at a time you had an urgent need for the prize money. While you reconciled and if your career had not taken off he might have offered you shelter and income, depending fully on a partner is not an ideal situation. 

He did not allow you to voice your frustrations for this, didn't understand your career and some aspects of your personality, wasn't going to keep his distance when you asked and intended to prove you wrong and cost you the game a second time despite you being firm in your intentions. He also sought to shame you both for actions that weren't worthy of judgement and even when he chose to leave the game voluntarily he kept interfering with your strategy and path to victory. His machinations led to you losing again, and even to physical strife. And for all of that there had been no apologies on his end. Only venom.

You admit to your wrongs, dear, and you've made apologies. We've yet to hear a peep out of Mr. Blake. It's likely we never will. For he believes his anger and hate is righteous."

“He…I broke his heart. He's allowed to be angry!”

“Anger is one thing, being a hypocritical asshat is another.” Porscha said. “You're both grown! You talked to him like an adult! You said your peace, told him what was to happen if he kept interfering but this jackass only heard the world ‘burden’ and spiraled as if you'd casted curses upon him. Not two days later he wanted to disregard what you said and write a love song for the concert challenge.”

“What?!” Riya shouted.

Alec sighed. “It's true. He told me so when we were trying to write our team's song. I had to steer him away from the idea, but if I had encouraged it then he would've created something akin to ‘Piggyback.’”

Riya groaned. “I'm gonna be sick. I had just told him to keep his distance!”

“Exactly! One simple request spoken like an adult and he wanted to stomp all over it! Oh but then he has the gall to try and lecture Alec! Its…it's so infuriating!” Porscha said, calming down a little.

“I baby my newborn, but I won't baby an old man.” Sergei said. “He didn't understand what was like to crawl from nothing and fight to keep it. He had everything since youth. So he couldn't fight alongside you, just against you.”

“I can't have sympathy for him.” Fabio admitted in a soft tone. “Your conflicting morals and backgrounds were enough to tear you apart. He should've understood, just like you did. Instead he chose to try and take away the victory that you considered precious. He wanted you to crawl back, and admit defeat, to grovel, to apologize, to not question his ‘wisdom’ as he'd proved you wrong.

And this was all over a game! If things had turned out the way he wanted, would he do this again the next time you disagreed? If your career interfered with his dreams of a family, would he have sabotaged it? If you hadn't wanted marriage, would he have given you time or an ultimatum? If you didn't want children, would he have forced you to have them either way? Where does it end?

Perhaps I am assuming the worst, I didn't know him like you did. I didn't love him. I didn't even speak to him all that often but…Rich spoiled men are to be kept far away.”

A cruel comparison perhaps to relate Connor to the mafia boss that he'd once called a parent, but as painful as it was, Alec completely understood why Fabio had said that. It frightened him slightly. 

“The baby is asleep and happy….Why is everyone glum?” Reynold asked as he joined the group.

“Mr. Blake slander.” Jules answered.

“Ah, much deserved. I…certainly don't wish to cross paths with him again. The man once asked me to drop Riya as a client.”

“What?!” The group all shouted in almost synchronized unison.

“He did. After the Emmy win he thought you were changing for the worst, doll. So I had to pacify him and reassure him that I wouldn't drop you unless you asked me too, and that this was probably nervous jitters. Still, I knew then that the end was inevitable, and just hoped it'd come sooner than later.”

“Why didn't you say anything?” Riya asked.

“I've seen this happen a thousand times before. A partner gets jealous or insecure when their beloved reaches stardom. Whenever I'd warn my client their partner would turn them against me. Connor is no different, and I knew you loved him enough to consider his wants over your dreams. I wasn't going to give him any ammo to turn us against each other, or to make me seem like the villian. If you quit, then I wanted it to be your choice not his.”

“I can't believe I dodged that bullet!” Riya breathed out.

“In conclusion, you are lucky to have divorced him!” Jules said as she placed some dishes in the fridge with labels and others on the tray.

“We weren't married, hon.” Riya said with a laugh. 

“Divorce transcends any sort of legal classifications, it's a state of mind.” Jules said in the most matter of factly voice she could muster.

The statement was puzzling to say the least, but Alec was surprised to see everyone nodding along, including Napayshni. 

'Is Jules perhaps using cannabis on the food?' He wondered. Then again upon pondering the statement he could find some truth in it, being a divorced man himself. It did feel like further than the rings, papers, and love that had once bound him to Cheryll the two of them had divorced long before the legality of the matter was brought into question. By the time he'd left for Tipaskaw, he was a divorcee and not a husband.

"Then we're divorced!" Riya agreed. "Shame I couldn't take the company. I would've gotten his workers to unionize!”

Her voice brought him back from his musings and Alec laughed. She was indeed the type to fight for what she wanted and deserved.

“You deserve it all for putting up with him!” Jules said as the timer on the oven went off. “Nice! We got the chow!”

“As someone who worked during a time where unions and labour regulations were seen as vile and an ‘obstacle’ I do believe said employees should demand their fair share. Not having it can led to many a tragedy.” Napayshni said.

“Hey, aren't you unionized?” Fabio asked Jules.

She nodded, putting on the baking mittens and taking the rest of the food out of the oven and onto the counter. “Yeah. River themself had us unionized when they opened the Rhythmic Cafe and whenever I cater solo its only to unionized studios. 

I take you guys are unionized too?”

“A certain someone had me draft contracts for everyone when we began to work together.” Reynold said, glancing at Riya who just shrugged.

“I was an extra enough times to know how rough it is to be without a union. Nothing but the best for my squad!”

“There's a reason we all love working for ya, babygirl.”

So that was it, huh? The reason why Riya was such a delight to work with and spoken so highly of. 

Alec didn't think much of her upon first meeting, other than knowing he wanted her to be his ally rather than his enemy. Even during those first few days, he found Riya to be fussy and slightly difficult. So much so that when Connor mentioned she was sweet and kind off camera he had his doubts.

But those doubts faded with time, because he'd seen glimpses under the mask, and even when she put it back on and refused to let him see the truth or love her as he wanted to, he knew that her sweeter side was still there. He just didn't think it'd be turned his way again.

And now, now hearing that she made sure to properly care for her employees, to hear she was always friendly and kind, and to see her outside of the spotlight and in their own home, yes that got him to confirm that the woman was indeed the ray of sunshine he'd once fallen for.

‘Once?’ Denial wouldn't carry him forever.

“Okay pretty people, let's take the food to the terrace and have dinner under the stars!” Jules said as she grabbed one of the dishes and headed out. 

Alec did as he was told and made sure to handle the food carefully.

“You okay? You look out of it.” Riya asked.

“I am. Just thinking about certain things. Let's go eat.”

She didn't seem convinced, but didn't push the matter, rather she just smiled and stayed by his side.

‘Yes, you were always to be treasured. I should've done so better before.’ Riya mused.

It was so rewarding to be eating yummy meals again. The two years Fiore spent in that hellhole probably messed with her taste buds. She finished her plate and was quickly offered seconds.

“Yes please!”

Alec served her another plate and she ate it with a smile.

“Enjoying your meal?” Napayshni asked.

She nodded. “I didn't get much back at the boarding school and I can eat slowly here.”

“Yes, I could tell. You remind me of myself during my childhood.”

“Were you in a boarding school too?”

“I suppose you could say so. I spent most of my childhood at a residential school.”

Her eyes went wide. “Oh. I'm sorry.” 

A Native man of his age no doubt was privy to the horrors she witnessed in history books. The things seen there made her think her boarding school was child's play. Perhaps it'd be for the best if she didn't bring it up again.

“No need to apologize, little one. It was nearly nine decades ago, and since then those sorrows made me stronger. That is what I hope happens with you too.”

She smiled, slightly mischievously. “Does that mean I get pretty braids like yours?”

The older man chuckled. “That I can bestow upon you now, should you want it.”

It was a little joke, but still Fiore nodded. 

“Fabio, may I ask for your assistance here?”

The blonde stopped speaking with Porscha upon hearing his name. “Hm, sure! What do you need Napayshni?”

“We are going to braid Fiore's hair!”

Fabio perked up at that. “Ohhh then let's get somewhere with better light! Fiore sweetie, we will have you looking like a princess in no time!”

They sat her down on one of the lounge beach chairs in front of the pool. One of the solar lamps shone down upon them and once her ponytail was undone, the pair got to work.

She noticed that as everyone finished dinner, the thrash was discarded and the dishes taken inside to be washed. Sergei returned later on with a fully awake Sergio who seemed adamant on being cradled by Riya. The actress gently swayed the baby and seemed perfectly at peace with him. 

Porscha and Reynold were talking to her, and to each other, presumably of work, and finally Alec and Jules listened to the Russian guard as the trio got lost in conversation.

It was so nice, to feel the night air upon her while gentle hands braided her brown locks. She often imagined herself free from the horrid school and her neglectful bio parents but she'd never really imagined herself being loved.

Fiore relaxed as she heard Fabio softly singing in Italian. It was an old lullaby from her days as a toddler. For many years she'd longed for her mother to sing this for her, that never came, but now she was being lovingly sung to sleep.

“She's so relaxed. Are you sure we should show her when we're done?” Napayshni asked.

“Hmmm perhaps it's best to let her sleep.” Fabio said.

“She looks so pretty! You're both doing a great job. Already improving upon perfection!” Riya's voice said in a loving hushed whisper.

“Perfection? You're going to give our daughter an ego.” Alec said. Fiore could hear him now holding baby Sergio, as the cooing and his nervous steps were audible.

“She must be confident! Our girl played a great game and dealt with a lot! I want her to be happy and strong.” Riya said.

Strong eh? She wasn't really sure about that, but happy? She was so very happy right now.

It had been a calm week. Too calm. With Jules lovely help in the kitchen and having everything prepped to just cook and serve her friends were all focusing on their duties. Fabio took other styling jobs on the side, being as revered and talented as he always was. When he wasn't proudly basking in Fabio's well deserved success, Reynold was busy as always making sure every client was well booked and cared for. She hadn't seen the older gentleman in a bit but he'd set up the recording equipment for her to work from home whenever she wanted to. Porscha still looked out for her, but it was clear her agent was still on maternity leave. She wobbled a little and was often times catching up on sleep, but never without finishing her work or caring for her little bundle. As a dad Sergei was doing great, caring excellently for the baby whenever needed and bonding with him whenever he wasn't taking other guarding jobs. Fiore seemed to be doing better. She smiled more, made jokes, did well with her class modules and was turning into a pro at video games.

That left her and Alec. For her part she'd done research for her new role. Her research on Chinese Zodiac was fascinating and the lines she'd recorded at home were accepted for the film. Perhaps she'd drop by the studio for the rest of them. Otherwise, her pains were lesser yet constant and she couldn't wait to properly heal.

As for Alec, he was still a quiet and melancholic man, but for the first time since she met him, he seemed hopeful. His therapy sessions were going well, he was still sober and seemed to be caring for his health a little better.

However she grew worried upon seeing the man sitting upon his bed with a heartbroken expression. The door to his room was half closed, she could pretend she didn't see him and carry on.

It wasn't her business, maybe it would be best to let him rest and have time alone, and yet she wheeled herself to the door. Because the last time she feigned ignorance to his sorrows, she nearly lost him forever.

“Alec?”

He was startled by the soft voice. Riya lingered at the door and came in when he nodded. “Hi.”

“You seem sad, did something happen?”

He didn't want to face her. Not after what he'd read, not when he was trying not to sink into despair once again. Still, the light from his room window shone upon her, the only sunlight in the room and before him…Perhaps he could let her see this. If anyone was to understand him, it was Riya.

Alec handed her a letter. “Sergei handed me this before he departed. Cheryll finally wrote back.”

“Those are great news!” She said with a cheerful smile before the joy faded. If Cheryll wrote back and Alec looked downcast. ‘Oh shit.’

She decided to read the letter. Hoping for clarity and a way to raise her husband's spirit.

To Alec:

I did not expect to hear from you again, no more than whatever Demir relayed to me when I asked out of courtesy. If not for Daniel's hazel eyes I might've already forgotten you.

Those apologies you made, I can't lie…They made me cry for a long amount of time. We might have saved ourselves a lot of fights and paperwork if I had heard them years ago. The mere fact that you're making them at all tells me that you're at least attempting to change. That means a lot Alec, more than you think. It makes me happy to know that.

The truth is, I owe you an apology too. I should've made my voice heard earlier, and told you exactly what I wanted with no room for run avoidance or discussion. I should have been a better wife and faced you upon your return, rather than run and blindside you in the way that I did. I should've heeded your parent's advice and tried to get you and Daniel to reconnect sooner, now that I know you wanted so. For all of this, and whatever else I've done that hurt you I am so very sorry Alec. 

That being said, I have no interest in being your friend again. I believe it is best for us to keep our lives separate, as we've done until now. Daniel is your son, as such you have rights, which I have selfishly denied you. Now that I know you're doing better and that you yearn for a connection for him I shall encourage and nourish said connection to the best of my abilities. You may have contact with him again, be it via letters, texts, calls, chat, whatever you desire. I am even willing to coordinate for him to visit you in the States should you want it. But aside from our co-parenting obligations, I don't have any desire nor need to associate with you anymore.

Congratulations on your new marriage. I certainly hope it is everything ours could never be. I cannot say I am fond of your new wife or her recent actions, but I do know for certain you're a smart and hopelessly romantic man. There must be something truly special about Riya Sharma for you to offer her your heart and take her to the altar. So my final words to you, would be to cherish her, to find joy with her, and to keep on becoming the better man I know you can be. Best of luck on your journey and do write to Daniel soon. He eagerly awaits to hear from you again.

Thank you, for all that you gave and for all we once were. I sincerely wish you all the happiness in the world.

Cheryll Mayfield 

She finished reading and placed the piece of paper upon the bed. Then she lifted herself up to sit beside Alec and gently lay her head upon his shoulder. 

“I'm sorry…”

“Don't be. I expected far less. I am allowed to see my son, I've been given an apology, and received forgiveness for my mistakes. It is more than I deserve.”

“You deserve all this and more. I can tell a part of you wanted to be friends again, even if the romantic love is lost.”

He chuckled.”Yeah well, that's just me being greedy. If all she wants is to co-parent then it's my duty to respect her choice.” Alec said.

This was what he'd wanted. A genuine apology, forgiveness, a second chance, an absolution, still a part of his remained hollow. Could it be that when Cheryll left him she rendered his heart incapable of loving again? Would he ever be able to feel as deeply as he once had?

“Then you're already doing better than most of us.”

Riya's soft voice and sun-kissed skin answered his plight. She, she was his answer. Looking at her, hearing her voice, being with her all through this month was already filling him with hope he once believed was lost forever. ‘I should've let you use me as a puppet, maybe then a fool like me could've been kept by you.’

He noticed the sadness in her beautiful brown eyes and quickly pulled her into a hug. From her words, he could tell she was still reflecting on their conversation the night of the dinner. It was still a fresh break-up, it had been an important relationship, and a lack of understanding and communication was part of why it crumbled, still he felt a pang of jealousy.

‘Had we gone our separate ways, would you still think of me? Would you do so if I had died as intended? Would you do it, even if you do not love me?’

No, those were foolish questions. He was not to think of that, rather he was to comfort her, to finally let go of his bitter past and move forward with sunlight at his side.

Riya always appreciated the way Alec held her. He was the type to hug as if one would vanish underneath a feeble grasp. It would've been better if she'd realized it back at camp. She could've saved him more aches than the ones he already carried. ‘I'm sorry. you were always more than just a puppet. I wish I'd known this before…’

She nearly reached for him when the man pulled away and stood. “I'll go burn the letter.”

“Wait, what?! Alec, those could be the last words she ever writes to you!”

“Precisely. I have read them, now I must let whatever affection I had for her die. For good this time…Care to join me?” He offered.

Riya didn't hesitate to take his hand “I do. There's something I must burn too.”

He wheeled her to her room so she could recover what she wanted. Her last bottle of ‘Passion of the Red Lady’ was placed upon her vanity. Riya picked it up and nodded.

Again Alec knew he had no right to the burning jealousy he felt creep upon his skin when he saw she still kept one memento of Connor.

‘Perhaps the man was right about one thing. I am a wicked liar, who indeed has feelings for Riya. Well, so be it then. I owe nothing to anyone anymore.’

They made their way to the terrace and Riya quickly lit the fireplace near the pool.

The flames brought memories of the VR challenge. She had a lot of fun letting her pyromaniac side run rampant without consequences, that is until she accidentally burned Alec twice. Once with her flames and once with lies.

‘Just to be clear, I don't have feelings for you…’

Stupid! Stupid lies that nearly cost her the man beside her! She should've taken them back. Was it too late to do so now? No…wait she…she couldn't be reckless again. Whatever she felt for Alec she could discern later, once both their ghosts were buried and they weren't hanging on by an ever thinning tread.

Alec tossed the letter onto the flames, watching the delicate paper be consumed by the fire and turned to nothing but scattered ash.

‘It's over…At long last.’

He'd once cried himself to sleep with nothing but bloodshot eyes, an empty bottle of whiskey, and a ragged throat to show for it. Now he smiled upon seeing the last tether to his past love disappear.

Riya tossed the bottle in next, it produced a few sparks, but slowly melted. 

‘Cheap casing for an expensive fragrance, was that how you saw me? Is that why you loved the version of me that didn't have a cent to her name but couldn't handle this one? Were they always right about you but I just refused to listen?! No…love just made me blind. Blindfold is off now.’

No words were exchanged between the pair as they stared intently at the fire. But when Alec held out his hand for her to take, Riya gripped it tightly.

Finally, they'd left their past lovers behind.

Alec had grown to hate rain. He knew it was foolish disgust. Meteorological conditions had no knowledge of what he'd gone through and this wasn't a movie where rain signified tragedy. But reality was stranger than fiction and when Helena passed it was pouring uncontrollably, as if the heavens themselves wept alongside him.

He stopped staring at the window and went to the library, only to find it locked. “Oh for fuck's sake! Cheryll!” 

He called out to his wife to no avail, having to make his way through the house until he found her at the door.

“Hey! Can you stop locking up the library whenever you're pissed at me?! It's getting old!”

No movement, no answer, nothing. 

“Cheryll?” He called out as he touched her shoulder. He turned her around only to realize he was speaking to a faceless mannequin. 

“What?! No…Not again!”

He'd been freed from nightmares a while ago, back when he no longer slept alone after three bottles of liquor. But now here was again!

‘Why? Why?! I'm sober. Is this withdrawal?!’

No, no time to think of that! He had to find his son. 

“Danny! Danny, where are you?!” Alec called out.

The floors of the house creaked as he ran through the halls, it was as if the vicinity was being reshaped around him. Like the outside of his former home the inside was striping away every shred of him. He didn't live there anymore, he never should've…

Making his way to Daniel's room he knocked on the door. It was opened but he didn't hear his son. The only sound to be heard was a familiar piano tune that soon turned distorted. Of course it would, the piano player couldn't breathe and coughed uncontrollably before a heavy seizure took hold of her. And then he'd frantically call for the paramedics, not knowing that they were prolonging her suffering and delaying the inevitable…

“I'm not doing this again…” He said as he closed the door and rushed out of there. The sound still followed him. It would follow him to the grave if he let it.

Daniel was nowhere to be found, and soon the vicinity was flooding.

“Water?! No, water is not red.”

Wine began to slowly rise up to his knees then his waist. Before it got to his lips someone else pulled him up and onto safety. He was now on a bed, sitting beside a familiar face.

“What the- Riya?!”

“Careful asshole, we don't need two people being afraid of drowning.” She said with a cheeky smile.

“You shouldn't be showing up in a nightmare.” He said nervously. 

He'd seen almost all his loved ones die whenever alcohol gave him dreams of blood, ash, and bitterness. He didn't want to see her die too, not when he almost did.

Riya just stared at him with those pretty big brown eyes of hers. “Why? I hurt you too.” She admitted. “We drank this very wine, and I turned you away, I used you!”

“No! You didn't, you were clear! I was the fool! I was the one who…who couldn't take rejection.” Alec admitted as he couldn't bear to look at her anymore.

“Ah, then is that why you let him doom me?”

He glanced up again, but this time he gasped. Riya had bruises on her back, bandages on her legs and her wrists bled as she placed a hand upon his face.

“No! No Riya I didn't mean to! I didn't think things would go so wrong! I didn't…I didn't want you to get hurt!”

“That really doesn't matter now, does it? In the end it all hurts just the same.” She said with glassy eyes. 

He heard the sound of bones breaking, her cry for help as she fell and even Yul calling out to her in despair.

Riya was a perfect duality of brokenness and beauty. Her eyes were tired yet shiny, her skin bruised yet soft, her semblance sad yet seductive. It would drive him to madness from the guilt. 

“I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry…Please forgive me. I can't lose you. I-”

“Shhhhh, it's okay. I forgave you! You got what you wanted anyway. I'm your wife, Fiore is our daughter. You got everything you wanted!”

The sickeningly sweet tone did little to mask the slight venom in her voice as she pushed him down on the bed. 

“No this, this isn't what I wanted! You shouldn't have gotten hurt! You shouldn't be shackled to me! Fiore deserves a good father I- I can't do this again!”

Another marriage to ruin in time, another child to neglect, another home to decay with his wretched presence, because he was a no good mess of man that had to taint everything he touched! Such a worthless coward didn't deserve this peace!

Therapy was attempting to correct this way of thinking, that he wasn't a bad man, that people loved him, he was just traumatized but his mind knew well what he really was.

“Then what do you want?”

To hear that asked of him as she pushed him down on the pillows, to look at her while all she wore was that pure white lingerie set from their ‘wedding night’. It was so tempting.

A better man would've refused, but he already knew he wasn't as righteous as he seemed. He was so tired of misery…

“I want you. I always wanted you. I regret hurting you, I regret not fighting for you, I…regret not being caught up in your web.

“Then let me change that.” She whispered seductively in his ear before kissing him deeply.

There was no betrayal or taste of wine this time. It was just Riya giving him what he'd been secretly wanting for so long. Alec let himself enjoy it, dared to softly place his hands on her back, but quickly pulled them away when he felt her skin was damp.

His hands had blood in them, like the crimson that fell from her wrists. ‘What the fuck am I doing?!’

“Wait, stop! Riya you're hurt!”

“But you want this. You want me, right? You need me even if I am a fallen star?”

No…No she was just like him now. He couldn't deny her but he had to or else-

“I do! I want you! You're still every bit as amazing as you were before, but I don't want to hurt you more than I already have!”

“If I you truly want me that much I can bear a little pain.” She said pressing herself up against him and causing his blood to rush elsewhere.

“No! Stop, already, let me bandage you up. Please Riya, let me heal you.”

She kissed him again. “Oh honey, but how can you do that? You can't even heal yourself!”

He woke up screaming after that, covered in cold sweat and with yet another splitting headache. “Fuck!”

Alec was startled by knocking on his door and a worried Porscha coming in without waiting for answer. “I was getting back from the kitchen and heard screaming. You okay?”

“It was a nightmare. I am fine.” He lied with a panting voice. 

“Bullcrap.” The agent responded as she walked over to him and pressed her hand on his forehad. “You have a fever. Do you have a headache?” 

“Yeah…”

“I'll make you tea.”

“No, please Porscha, you need to rest.”

“I'll be quick.” She said gouging his reaction. “I won't force you to tell me, but whatever that nightmare was you need to forget it. You're not a monster, dude. You're just in pain. 

The mind can be a powerful enemy, but if you focus on the good then you will be able to tame it.”

Focus on the good. Yes, perhaps he could that. He should. This new opportunity was not to be wasted wallowing in self pity and guilt.

“Then if it's not too much trouble can you get me a pen and paper with the tea. I'd like to write to Daniel.”

The only way out,
Is letting your guard down and never die forgotten
Forgive me, my love,
I stand here all alone, and I can see the bottom...

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Pour the Salt into the Open Wound

I see nothing in your eyes 
And the more I see the less I like…
Is it over yet? In my head?

I know nothing of your kind. 
And I won't reveal your evil mind.
Is it over yet? I can't win!

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left! 
I know that I can find, the fire in your eyes!
I'm going all the way, get away, please…

She was a fucking genius and she knew it. Porscha Marina Romanov could spin any story into gold, and what better use for that blessed gift than to be Riya Çelik's shield? 

As predicted, publicity had been mixed on Riya. Many called for blood, punishment, and boycott. Yeah funny, yet they'd watched the season to the very end rather than forget the actress if she distressed their delicate sensibilities so much. But whatever, word of mouth was free publicity. And with half the people who believed themselves worthy to judge her there came more who believed her to be iconic and resilient. She could retain those who loved her and made the opposition fall silent. 

The fall had been brutal, and she scrambled to delete the worst comments and shield Riya from the worst of it. But it also elicited sympathy, as many people who thought this was a cruel fate, others would patiently wait for the star to shine again, and others adored her regardless. Those were the ones she and Reynold allowed Riya to see. In her state, support was of upmost importance. The wedding continued to soften the blow, as the secrecy from it got people speculating and once the photos were revealed, well Riya's name echoed across LA once again.

Were there people doubting? Oh absolutely. Were there those saying the couple were traitors and dared lie about their affections? Yes. Were there skeptics thinking this marriage was a sham? Indubitably. Had fools who would do nothing about this situation claimed that Fiore shouldn't be in their custody? Uh-huh, and those did piss her off to no end. Because she knew they didn't really give a fuck about the child and just needed a justification to hate Riya and Alec.

Well today they'd be livid! Because Porscha had scheduled for a family portrait of the Çelik's to be taken, and right now they were at the photography studio making sure everything was ready.

“You look lovely.” She said as she helped Riya straighten out her skirt.

“Thank you.” Riya said sweetly. “I'm a little nervous. The last time I took one of these was when I was a kid. I never thought I'd be getting one of my own so soon.”

“It'll be okay. Your beauty shines through any photo! Just smile as you always do, that's enough to make Alec light up too, and Fiore is excited as well.”

Riya glanced at them. Lovingly looking at her husband gently brushing Fiore's hair for the photograph. The little girl was giddy in her cute dress, and Alec too seemed leagues above the tried man she'd met that night when they all nearly lost their star.

Porscha took notice of the softened gaze. She hadn't seen Riya look at anyone in such a manner. 

‘Perhaps this won't always be an ‘act’...’ She pondered.

“Go get in position, babygirl. I'll make sure the pair is pretty and prepared!” She said.

As Riya wheeled herself to her spot, the photographer made sure everything was in accordance. Porscha checked Fiore and Alec, the little one was ready, meanwhile Alec's shirt collar was slightly crooked and she quickly corrected that.

“There we go! The handsome nerd is ready to be immortalized!” She joked.

Alec laughed but looked nervous too. “Is this really okay? I don't want to ruin the photo and well, I know you'll be using this one for publicity too. I can't fail them.”

“Oi relax, I am going to have this one used, but it's fine. All I need is what you've already been providing. Trust me dear, you're more like a family than you'd care to see.”

Alec nodded and took a breath. “Alright. I won't let you down.”

“You never could. Remember that.”

Now that everyone was ready they got in position. She noticed they'd chosen to have Fiore sit on Riya's lap for the photo. It made it all the more warm and adorable.

And as the cameras began to flash and provide her with what was necessary to keep on shielding the little family, Porscha kept her black eyes glued to them. Those sweet smiles were anything but an act.

‘Rest easy, you're already well on your way to happiness.’

“I demand an explanation!” Reynold roared. “No don't ask me to hold again! I know he's there and I know he's avoiding me! Phoenix, I know you're there!”

Riya wasn't used to seeing the usually composed man so angry. Porscha had been emotional from the start, but Reynold was often the picture of temperance, and this burning rage spelled nothing but disaster

It had been two months since the end of All-Stars.  Riya was still in recovery, and that meant she couldn't be in live action projects for a while or unless they accommodated the use of her wheelchair. This was quite a blow to her career, and while her voice acting role was generating income, along with the tabloids regarding her and her family, she knew her main project was her debut, Black Widow's Gambit.

The movie had been a smash hit, and the TV show that followed put her and the newbie director on the map. But Phoenix Baird had just announced the 3rd season on his social media and she hadn't been given so much as a call for promos.

How the hell did he intend to make the show without its villain protagonist?!

Riya was trying to remain calm, but she flinched upon seeing Reynold tossing his phone on the sofa and exasperatedly running his hand through his graying black locks. “Fuck! He's not answering!”

“Then I'm making him answer. Can you and the men hold the fort? I'm driving with Riri up to the studio.” Porscha said.

“Ya sure you want to do that?” He asked. 

They all knew whatever answer awaited wasn't likely to be a good one, but they had to face it regardless.

“I'm not letting him off without an explanation.” Was all Porscha said. “Shall we?” She asked her.

Riya nodded. “Let's go.”

The drive was always swift when Porscha took the wheel. She got them to the studio and they both felt the shift in atmosphere. From the second they exited the van and Porscha wheeled her to the lot the pair had garnered both glares and some sympathetic looks.

Finally they'd reached the set, and to their bitter surprise, they were filming. 

‘No…No! Not this!’

Everyone glared at them for interrupting until they realized who they were, and soon not even the illustrious Phoenix Baird could hide from them. The man made their way towards them. Riya hadn't seen him since the end of the show's second season, only occasionally texting him but that soon went silent after her injuries.

He was still as fashionable as always, sharing Riya's affinity for fur coats and designer sunglasses, he had grown out his dark blue hair and looked slightly more tanned now. 

“Care to fucking explain this, birdy?” Porscha asked in a deep voice that was full of tranquil rage. Not even her nickname for the man gave the illusion of warmth.

“I think you know.” He said, half saddened, half scared.

“No. Say it or we won't move, and you're gonna waste a day's worth of work!” Porscha yelled. 

One of the assistants passed Phoenix some papers, he then presented them to the women. “The studio's been bought out by a new owner. Due to Riya's actions during her time in Disventure Camp it was decided she'd be blacklisted from the studio.”

“What?!” Porscha roared. “Blacklisted?! You gotta be shitting me! How come you didn't fight this?! She's the star of your show! How can you even think of doing a season without Countess Arachnia?!” 

As her agent roared at Phoenix, Riya read the papers she'd been handed. It indeed proved the studio had been bought out and that she was blacklisted, along with anyone who supported her or spoke on her behalf…

She wondered just who in the world could hate her this much, only for the obvious answer to wash upon her like a cascade of icy water as she read the name ‘Blake Industries’ in the buyer's part of the documents.

Blake. Connor Blake bought this studio. Connor fucking Blake bought the studio where she worked on her most profitable project, only to tear it away from her as he believed she deserved.

“Say something Riri!” Porscha pleaded, but Riya couldn't speak. Instead she just handed the woman the papers.

“What?” Porscha took them and read, but rather than despair, rage took over. “¡Puto viejo de mieda! ¡Sabía que iba hacer algo así, maldito!” She cursed in Spanish as she threw the papers at Phoenix. 

The man made no move to avoid the strike nor did he look happy. “The order came through last week. We decided to continue the show by killing the Countess offscreen and casting a new protagonist.”

She was hyperventilating, trying hard not to fall apart in this public view. Her breakout role, her favorite character to play, the centerpiece of a complex mystery thriller was now torn away from her as punishment…

“You…You are such a fucking idiot!” Porscha told Phoenix. “You think you can take away this show's most beloved character and kill her offscreen without the viewers hating you for it?! You're going to get canceled after a disastrous loss of a season!”

“Riya isn't the only actress working in this show nor is the Countess the only character! I cannot afford to leave everyone here without a job because the leads contract was terminated! 

My hands are tied here, Porscha. I can't do anything about this. The higher ups sold the studio, I'm only following orders!”

The agent laughed venomously, as if she was the new Black Widow ready to stab at the heart of a prey. “Spare me your pathetic excuses! You more than well could've threatened to walk when this new ruling was made. You have the money and resources to move this show's production to a different studio. The cost of losing Black Widow's Gambit would be too much, forcing them to either not sell to Blake or disregard his orders unless the studio goes under.

You just don't want any stupid drama or controversy cuz you're a spoiled little nepotism baby that got lucky his movie was a hit and now think you're hot shit when half your success is owed to your cast, Riya in particular! You just didn't want to risk another studio limiting your control over this show! We're not stupid kid, say it with your chest if you're going to betray us!”

“I am not betraying anyone! I don't owe you having to uproot my show out of its parent studio because Riya here chose to act like a lunatic on Reality TV and now people don't want her to be associated with their brand! If you're going to point fingers, do it at the one who caused this mess!”

She could sense the strike before Porscha could even lift her hand. The agent didn't slap the director because Riya grasped her hand before she brought it down upon him. “Stop! Cha-cha please stop it.” She pleaded.

One word from her was enough to dissuade the woman and Porscha despite her burning rage, lowered her arm and held onto Riya's hand.

“You're right Phoenix. You don't owe me anything.

My contract was to play the Countess until the show ended or her character passed away. So now that you've killed her off this part of the contract is fulfilled. We are no longer co-workers.

However, given our history together and the fact we were both crucial in making each other's dreams come true I thought that you as my friend would try a little harder to keep me around. I know of your original plans for this story, and that the Countess wasn't meant to pass the torch of malice just yet. This new mandate doesn't just affect me, but rather you as well. This story is your baby, your magnum opus, and my loss has forced you to change it drastically from your original vision. One would think you'd be angry over that, but I think you do not care. You'll be safe economically even if this show now fails.

So…no. I won't fight you, or this studio. I sincerely hope this season is on everyone's radar, that they talk about it for years to come, about how this masterpiece went on a downfall because the lead writer and director gave up without a fight, and how the star that put the series on the map vanished from it without so much as a formal dismissal. If you won't fight for me I won't fight for you, so do know that if asked I will say it all. I'll tell them how hurt I am, how you didn't even answer my calls or those of my agents, of how you really feel about me and how you gave up on me on my worst moment, I'll say it all without regret.

I used to think you were different. That you saved me from fading into the background again, but no. You're the same as all those directors who cast me out without a second thought. I was just a number to you and now my number is up. 

So go on. Do as he wants you to. As he expected you to. Just know that I am not going to grovel to you, nor him, nor anyone else. My ‘punishment’ won't be anyone's entertainment!

Best of luck with your future projects, I know you'll still have mommy and daddy's finances to cover the costs of this loss. Everyone else well…They're not as lucky. I'll tell Rey to keep his eye out.”

She then glanced at Porscha, who was still livid but reached for her hand as Riya finished speaking. “Can we go home?”

“Yes babygirl.” She looked at Phoenix one last time. “Can't trust them rich boys nowadays. Get bent asshat, I'm not pulling any punches!”

With that they left and as they exited the building, Riya remained silent but let her tears spill. A flash of light caused her to gasp and quickly regain composure. Paparazzi were outside the studio waiting for a shot of her after the confrontation. Someone must've leaked it.

Sergei wasn't here to fulfill bodyguard duties but his wife was, and Porscha was certainly an acceptable substitute. “Fuck off!” She screamed as she kept the people away from Riya and even broke the lens of one camera with a kick.

“Hey! You gotta reimburse that!” The owner said.

“Scram, you leeches!” She screamed as she took off her heeled shoes and tossed them at the scattering crowd.

Once they were settled onto the van seats Porscha turned on the ignition and drove off.

“Let it out, now.” She said as reached for Riya's hand.

At those words Riya shattered and cried out loudly and bitterly, until her throat was raw and aching, and she blacked out from the emotional exhaustion.

This role was her first major appearance in any film! The pinnacle of her career! The reason she got an Emmy! This was her breakout! And just like that she'd lost it because she dared refuse to simply quit while she was ahead.

In her sorry state, she'd be lucky if anyone casted as an extra. While September had passed her by, and October was staring it's second week, she knew that by the time she could probably walk again it'd be February and by then…by then half the public would forget her and they other half would hate her. 

Her career as she knew it, had just ended. It was over.

Alec knew there was trouble when they came back and the front door was slammed so hard it could've been torn off its hinges. 

Fabio was carrying an unconscious Riya to her room. He held her delicately yet protectively, looking as if he would be out for blood if asked. ‘The mafioso side is surfacing.’

He rushed downstairs and saw Sergei in the living room with a livid expression and glare that seemingly wished to melt the vicinity around them.

Reynold was pacing back and forth with baby Sergio. The little one had grown a bit this past month, but he was still so delicate and sweet all he did was absent-mindedly nibble on the man's shoulder. So blissfully unaware of the tension around them.

But Porscha, Porscha looked as if she was going to commit a massacre of demonic proportions. She had no shoes on, her tanned skin was red, her hair was messy and she breathed hard as she gripped her phone and furiously tapped at it. Then she tossed it aside and growled.

“¡Lo voy a matar!” She screamed out in perfect Spanish. 

“Nyet. There shall be no blood spilled, as much as I wished we could do so…” Sergei said with empty eyes.

“We knew. Your cards warned us of this outcome. I've never wanted a divination prediction to be wrong so badly but I suppose the gods that be may have a wicked sense of humor.” Reynold said.

“That ungrateful little fuck! After she put him on the map, and got this stupid show to the top of the ratings he just gives up on her! Useless! ¡Cabrón! I hate him! I hate them both!” She screamed out going from a groaning voice to bitter sobbing. “How could he still hurt her like this?...”

“What happened?” Alec asked as he came to the living room and surprised the trio.

“...We should wait for the child.”

“I'm already here. Why is Fabio tucking Riya in and why is he crying?” Fiore asked as she arrived, catching her breath as she had ran downstairs. 

“Riya has been blacklisted from Black Widow's Gambit…” Reynold said, pausing only for them to assimilate the words he'd just told them. “As this was her most profitable role we will work tirelessly to expand her repertoire, within her physical limitations of course.” He explained in a hushed voice that carried deep loathing.

“Oh, that's not the juicy part. Guess what worthless bastard got her blacklisted?!” Porscha growled.

“My heart, it's not necessary to say.” Sergei warned, but went ignored.

“Connor Blake! He bought the studio so that she, and anyone who supported her, got blacklisted!”

No. No he wouldn't. He wouldn't! Would he?

“These are the consequences he wanted…” Alec breathed out. 

“Wait him?! Why?! He got what he wanted! She lost! We made sure of it!” Fiore shouted. “...I made sure of it.”

“No, little one this is not your doing, no one but his own. Man chose to waste his own money acquiring business he knows nothing about just to mess with his exes career at her lowest point.” Sergei said. 

“I just can't take it! We were doing well! The family thing is working, she has her voice acting gig, If everything went well we could focus on that! But no, he has to come here and destroy it all! He won't stop until she's utterly miserable!” Porscha sat down on the sofa and gripped the edges of it so hard, Alec was sure she'd sink her long black nails into it.

“We cannot lose our minds. This is what he aims for. I am holding Sergio right now because if I do not I'd drive straight to Canada and commit to creating a scene bloodier than whatever any of you have seen!” Reynold said.

“I do not doubt it.” Sergei sighed. “What can we do? This'll diminish progress…”

“Priority number one should be Riya.” Alec said as he bent down to hug Fiore. “This loss will send her spiraling again, and we do not need her to have a repeat of the finale.

Progress, roles, plans, it all should take a back seat. As much as I want revenge and prosperity too…”

“Yer committing to the role.” Sergei said.

“It's not the role. It never was.” Alec affirmed.

The trio didn't seem surprised and neither did Fiore. Though the child shivered in anger. “I want to wreak havoc in his stupid factories!” She said as she left Alec's grasp and went to the kitchen. Reynold followed, presumably to get food and calm the group down.

But no amount of delicious pasta, soft music, or kiwi juice could deter him from his rage and guilt.

Alec had been given a second chance by her grace, so had Fiore. And even when she knew of their betrayal despite her hurt, Riya chose to forgive them. She forgave him. And yet he couldn't dare forgive himself. 

There were many ways to prevent that fall, and the easiest one was to just let her play as intended. Fiore would've given Jake the disadvantage, and unlike Riya who had an iron will, it was likely the blue haired boy would've taken the loss and entrusted Ally with the final battle. But in his foolish bitterness he convinced his daughter to target Riya.

No disadvantage meant no desperation, no scorpion lair, no fall, no injury. It didn't guarantee victory but it meant that even if this blacklist had occurred then she could bounce back with other roles. Hell, she might've not even attempted suicide.

‘If any good came from this then it was having you with me.’ Riya once said to him.

Who cared? Who fucking cared if he was here while she wasted away?! Who cared that he was fine, when he gave her enemy the tools to destroy her?! Who cared…if that meant her shining star was snuffed!

“Excuse me.” He said, unable to eat another bite and rushed straight to his room.

Alec knew it was for naught, but he was willing to beg like a dog if it was enough to save her. He wasn't above groveling anymore. 

His hands trembled as he dialed the number and waited for a response. It didn't take long, it had been expected.

“I didn't think you'd be the one to call.” Connor's voice echoed on the other end.

“I'm afraid you'll have to settle for me. Given what you've caused I doubt she'll even want to speak for a while.” Alec couldn't even mask his rage behind a polite tone as every word he spoke oozed with disdain.

“Good, that is what I intended. You thought you'd escape punishment so easily I had to prove you wrong.”

“Prove me wro- Genuinely, what is your damage?!  I told you that she was going to struggle, that she was in pain and would have to put her career on pause and yet you weren't satisfied with that?! You need her to suffer more to feel as if you've accomplished something?!”

“This isn't just her punishment. This is for the betrayal that you both inflicted upon me!”

“What? When have we ever done that?!”

“You really think that I wouldn't find out?! The first thing I saw when I woke up that morning was the pictures of your little Vegas wedding! I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, but no, I was right in suspecting you this whole time! You said you didn't love her! Then the game ends, you spend the night with her before we depart and marry her a few weeks later! Alec what am I supposed to think?! You said you never had feelings for Riya, only to then run to her side at the first opportunity and marry her! So much for being a well intentioned man!”

Alec took off his glasses and placed them on the nightstand. He had to run his hands through his hair and take a deep breath. Amidst his boiling rage he could understand the hurt. For in this man's eyes his trusted friend and former lover had started a tryst when they voted him out of the game, lied about it, then he lured him to security only to resume said tryst upon the game's end and leave with their supposed common enemy.

The truth of what took place after the finale would be enough to put the matter to rest. Connor would know he wasn't betrayed, that Riya was suffering more than he'd ever know, and that this marriage was all an act to continue a mutually beneficial arrangement.

But the truth of that night wasn't his to share, not with Connor, nor the world. So Alec bit his tongue and chose once again to protect Riya.

“It's true. I lied, not just to you but to myself. But there's a method to my madness, because I didn't lie to hurt you. I did so to protect her. 

Riya didn't want to be with me initially. She wanted space and so I gave it. I did not pressure her and fought to tear her away from my heart, which is what she had requested. Denying my true feelings would lessen her guilt and allow us both to play unclouded. It is because of that fact that we could speak freely and reconcile when the dust settled.”

‘Understand, just understand and drop the matter. Let her be, let us be, please, please prove us all wrong.’ Alec mentally pleased after making his case, only for those hopes to shatter as heard the other man speak again, as stubborn as ever.

“You think I'm going to believe that?! That you're some sort of martyr for what you did?! Spare me Alec, all you did was make excuses and run like a coward! It's what you've always done!”

“That's not-”

“I wonder how your son feels knowing that you're a sea away just because you chose to chase Riya? No, I know, he must be used to it, given its not the first time you leave for smoke and mirrors!”

“Don't you dare bring my son into this!”

“Someone should remind you of the kid's existence! Not that Cheryll ever will, given you burnt that bridge to cinders! How many did you leave behind?! How many did you lie to?! It's not just me you had fooled with your ‘pathetic man’ facade! The world may pity you, but I swear in time they'll see who you really are! I'll make sure of it!”

He remained silent as the man roared at him. There was some truth in his words, but Alec wouldn't let that bring him down again. He had indeed been an awful father before, but he was working on it. Cheryll didn't want to reconcile as friends, but they'd exchanged apologies and would amicably co-parent. He was indeed a pathetic mess, but he'd been loved regardless and now could move forward.

Whatever Connor wanted to say, he'd take. It was better than leaving Riya to handle this burden. He could withstand any insults towards himself.

“It's revolting to see how quickly you bent back down to Riya's will! The manipulative little snake probably has you wrapped around her finger!” Connor laughed bitterly. “No wait, you're married and she was gonna act in ‘other’ movies. She must have you wrapped around something else.”

Alec saw red at those words. Insults towards himself he could withstand, but insults toward Riya? Those were unacceptable. More so that one, which not only mischaracterized her, but rather made light of a secret that was pried away from her and revealed on international television. 

“That's enough! You can call me every vile name in the book, but you don't speak ill of her!” He shouted loudly enough for it to be heard outside his room and perhaps the first floor. It caused both of them to fall silent, but unlike in the past where raising his voice was a rare occurrence and any sliver of conflict was enough for him to break, tonight he stood his ground with anger and sadness deep within his heart. 

“I meant it when I said that I looked up to you. A man who remained carefree and happy even during bad days, who had his heart broken but pushed through and seemed to genuinely adore his former lover, who ran his own company and befriended everyone so easily. But that wasn't the truth, was it?

When we voted you out I knew that you needed time away from Riya to think things over and perhaps move on. But I also did it because I knew you'd ruin our game. And you'd already done it! You helped Miriam expose the alliance and doomed Ellie and Fiore before they could make a play for merge. I sometimes wonder how far they'd would've made it if not for you! But fine, it was the game, you had left and in time I realized that perhaps you weren't the only one benefitting from the break. Riya was so much more friendly and calm when you weren't around, I should've taken note of that before.

You returned, taking the chance from others who needed the prize more than you, and forcing Riya to aid you in the process. Fine, game's game and you wanted to win or rather wanted anyone but Riya to win! And to do so you began plotting against us and putting a target on our backs. I resigned myself to defeat when you made it clear that no matter what I'd do or say you wouldn't dare understand me or my reasoning. But still you offered friendship. And I foolishly thought it to be enough, even as you took away my only chance at prosperity with your idol.

Regardless, I remained friends with you, I helped you prevent Riya's win and quite honestly that is one of my biggest regrets. If I'd known what the outcome was, I wouldn't have helped you! Instead, I would've gotten the totem myself and kept her safe, I would've done anything to prevent this end…

But you, you just smiled at her bruised and broken body when she wasn't even awake! You who painted her as the picture of evil, and claimed she didn't deserve the win due to her bad actions never once held a mirror up and faced his own selfish crusade against her!

I ignored all of it for too damn long! I thought Riya was just stubborn to push away a man who loved her and wanted her to change for the better, but no, she was right to leave you! She was right about everything! From the very start you were a thorn in her side, you went against all of her requests, stomped on every boundary as if it was a game, devoted yourself to making her lose and had the gall to call her a villainess!

And now you prove her right once again! Because despite not living in LA or having any knowledge on how to run a studio you have wasted thousands, maybe millions of dollars in acquiring the studio where she worked on her most prominent role! You just forced everyone who works there to resume production without their lead and likely lose their fan base due to this rushed and idiotic change!

But you don't care, do you?! Because all you want is to punish her! All you care about is your warped sense of justice in which Riya must be mercilessly mistreated and proved wrong, because maybe, just maybe she'll come crawling back to you! It worked once didn't it?! Who cares about the wastefulness?! Who cares about the other people that worked on that show?! Who cares about the strife she already going through if I can add more?! Who cares about whatever we once had if it wasn't her everything?!

You want to call me coward? Call me vile, liar, vindictive, lustful, or any other insult? Do it! Do as you please with me! But do not think that you can hurt her again!

I regret the day I ever thought of you as friend, much more ever thinking I should aspire to be like you! Any timeline where I come to such a conclusion is no doubt a tragic one! Do know this, Connor Blake, you're the worst man I've ever had the displeasure of meeting!”

With that he ended the call and blocked the number, tossing the phone aside and gathering his breath. Alec noticed he was sweating and shaking either from rage or anxiety. He needed to calm down, to cope, but there was only one way in which he knew how.

It was the only way.

Nothing else paid as much, or could keep her here unless she pleaded for help that wouldn't ever be offered much less received. So, with a bank account that was now on double digits and a heavy heart Riya now stood before the casting directors for adult films. 

She had nearly bolted for the door when they handed her the paperwork, and asked her to check the boxes of what she could and would do. Half those words didn't make sense and googling a couple of them was enough to make her nauseous.

Riya stood perfectly still, dressed in a short red dress that only covered what it needed to, along with a pair of red six inch heels. She wanted to shrink away from view, but lustful stares were everywhere and she felt as if they undressed her from afar.

Two people eyed her up and down making comments and taking note of every detail of her hair, skin, and body.

"She has nice thighs, that's good, oh and a wide ass.” The director said. “You can fit multiple categories in one video."

"Sapphic viewers would love her too. Sweet shy girls are hard to find." The manager said as she wrote down her measurements on the clipboard along with her casting sheet.

This all felt as if she was prized cattle getting judged before her journey to the slaughterhouse. Perhaps this is why beef disgusted her to no end, she could empathize.

"Hmm a lot of body shots work, maybe bukkake, you can handle that right, honey?"

Riya nodded instead of talking, out of fear her voice had left her. She didn't know what she'd just agreed to, but no matter what it was she needed the money. ‘Which one was that?! I can't do anything too outrageous, I can't do multiple people I…I don't even sleep with someone on the first date!’ Still, her voice wouldn't leave her. Her mind was too set on the money. ‘Do whatever they want you to!’

"Hmmm I don't think we can have her do motorboating, her chest isn't big enough." The manager said as he placed her hands on Riya's chest.

She was horrified and wanted to scream out, but she bit her lip. Soon enough it wouldn't just be hands that gave her pause and repulsion.

"Oi, kid don't cry! You're ruining the make-up!' 

She didn't notice tears were leaving her until the director scolded her. Riya wanted to apologize but her lips were still tightly sealed.

"Let her go to make up. Unless you want dacryphillia on the categories. Runny make-up works for that." The manager said.

"Nah, those fetishists like hardcore shit, it's her first shoot, make her look innocent and naive."

Riya was grabbed by the wrist and led to the make-up room. "Fabio! You got another one before your take!"

"Really?! It's not enough I have to take two cocks the same time but you have doing everyone's make-up?! Pay overtime, you cazzo!" He yelled at the manager as she rolled her eyes and walked out the door.

The man before her was dressed in a silk robe, he had long blonde curly hair, icy blue eyes and tanned skin. He seemed nicer than everyone else she'd met here.

Fabio let her sit down but as soon as the door was closed she started crying. 

The man was alarmed for a moment before quickly comforting her. "Oh, mia cara, it's your first shoot isn't it?" He spoke to her gently as he put down the pallet and liners to hold her and softly stroke her hair.

Riya nodded and let him hug her. "I...I don't want to! I just need to! I need the money!"

"It's okay love, we all do. This is how I pay for cosmetology school." He confessed. "Don't you have any lifelines?" Fabio asked.

No. She had no one. Because her family would rather see her a whore than give her a single cent for her to keep chasing shooting stars.

Riya was startled by her cellphone. She picked it up and spoke with a shaky voice. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Riya Sharma?”

“Yes. Who's this?”

“I'm Kristal McLean from Disventure Camp. Congratulations hon, you've been cast for the second season. We begin shooting in two weeks, think you can make it?” She asked.

“Y-Yes! Thank you so much!”

“Glad to hear! Best of luck!” Kristal said before hanging up the call.

Riya nearly dropped her phone. The last minute felt like the answer to her daily prayers. She had a shot at a million dollars, at exposure, at success…

She looked back at Fabio. "I think I just got a lifeline..."' She breathed.

"That so? Be back real quick." Fabio told her.

He left the room and returned with her contract, it wasn't signed yet, so he handed it to her and pointed to the fireplace. "Time to say ciao to that paper!"

Riya smiled and threw it to the fire, watching as the flames consumed the document and burnt it to ash.

Fabio walked over to the wardrobe and got a long coat for her. It was beautiful and made of white fur, she'd always loved that style of coat. The garment covered her completely down to the ankles, she clung to it tightly, not wanting anyone to see her outfit underneath.

"I'll sneak you out the back." Fabio said.

"Thank you! Um, Mr. Fabio, how shall I repay you for this?" She asked before daring to make her escape.

He smiled sweetly at her. "Give me a call if you ever need a good stylist, mia bella! Wouldn't mind a lifeline of my own."

She hadn't understood those words until she looked up his name before leaving for Disventure Camp. The things she saw paled in comparison to what she feared she'd do. Riya swore that if she won she'd abide by his request.

She didn't win, but Ma Kaali was still smiling down upon her and granted her wish all the same. When Reynold had her signed and she got at least three secure roles she begged her agent to help her locate Fabio. 

Riya woke up before she could recall their second encounter. Tonight however, the touch felt the same, a strong yet comforting hold of a man she trusted and adored as if he was her brother.

“Fabi?” She called out in her dim room with a raspy voice.

“Yes starlight, it's me. Try not to speak, you lost your voice on the way back. It's okay though, I got you…” He said.

She stood at same crossroads again, and here was her golden guardian angel holding her together and running his hands through her hair. Riya couldn't cry anymore, so she just relished the affection given.

“Did she tell you?” Riya asked.

“Texted me before arriving. They're all crushed, but trust me Rey and Cha-cha won't let this hold you back.”

What was there left for her? Her career was over! Connor won! She was done without her web of malice!

‘No…No I have to trust them! I have them! My team, my family, they're here. They've always been here!’

“Fabi.”

“Hmmm, yes babygirl?”

“You're my lifeline now.”

He chuckled. “I'm honored. I'll do everything in my power to help you, rest assured.”

“You're helping right now. I don't know what I would've done without you that day.”

He was silent for a moment, as if he was also going back to their tangential past. “I could say the same about you and Rey, lovey.”

Riya smiled. Her head hurt, her throat was sore and the helplessness she felt before her little crew came together and she shone at the top of the world was returning in full force.

‘I can't let it win again! They're counting on me! I'll just have to pull through…’

“Fabi, can you do me a favor?” She asked staring at pools of icy blue that always looked so shimmering and warm to her. 

“Anything.”

“Can you cut my hair?”

He smiled. “Of course! Let me take care for you.”

He carried her in his arms to the seat in front of the vanity and then turned a dimmed lamp on. In the cold dark room this looked like their little spot of sunlight. 

“How short should it be?”

“Can you match the length to my bangs?”

He nodded. “Of course, leave it to me!”

Her ponytail was undone and ever so softly and gently she felt Fabio brush her hair and treat each strand as if it was precious thread.

“Are you certain you want me to cut it?” He asked a final time as he brought the scissors up to her hair.

Riya glanced at her reflection in the mirror. It was so very similar to that fateful night. Same teary eyes and runny make-up, same fear but also same savior doing his best to calm her as she stared at the abyss. 

"Yes. I don't want to go back..." She said.

“It's not the same, love. You have us this time around and you know that we'll do everything it takes to keep you safe. Your star won't ever be extinguished much less by the idiot who could never handle it's glow.”

Oh she wanted to believe him so badly, but a part of her soul ached at the mere thought that this pain was self inflicted. And that unlike those days where her bad fortune only affected her, she was now dooming infinitely talented people who adored her and deserved so much better than to be caught in Blake’s crossfire.

“There, it's done.”

Long dark brown curls had been cut short, the aftermath of it scattered around her and her reflection was less like the frightened sad woman who ran away from the hotel in heels and clung to that white fur coat for safety. She looked older, wiser, ready to fight again.

Riya still had the coat perfectly washed and hung in her closet but didn't feel like she needed it tonight. Instead she grasped her friend's hand.

“It's perfect. Thank you!”

“My pleasure, old friend.”

She couldn't respond to that before they heard shouting. The pair recognized the voice as Alec's. 

Riya shuddered, never having heard the calm and brilliant man speak in such an enraged and hateful tone.

“I think your man needs to see you.” Fabio said cheerily as he carried her to her chair and they exited her room.

They left in time to see Alec leave his room too. The man slammed the door open so harshly she was sure the noise was heard downstairs. His face was nothing bur absolute rage and he rushed downstairs without noticing her or Fabio. 

The aura radiating of him wasn't his usual calm or even melancholic self. This man radiated the wrath of a rakshasa and looked as if he would burn everything in his path to the ground. If it wasn't for the fact that she was worried for him Riya might've found it alluring.

‘What's wrong? What happened to you?’

Downstairs Alec didn't notice anyone else. It was likely the group relocated to the terrace after dinner. Good, he didn't want them to see him like this.

Rummaging through the fridge yielded no results, as the house was free of alcoholic drinks. Unless, the only alcoholic content in the house wasn't for drinking straight up. 

The spice cabinet wasn't full, and he could see the cooking wine at the very back. He didn't hesitate to grab the bottle and pry it open.

‘Numb me, numb me already, I don't want to feel anymore!’

Rage, bitterness, sadness, cravings, all of them had been silenced by the bottle for the past year and a half. He knew that had to stop, that this was yet another failure, and that he'd just be letting everyone down by doing this. But his racing heartbeat and aching head didn't care for it, he just wanted to be at peace. 

‘One more, the last one. I promise.’ He said to himself. He'd said the same thing every night in a row when he thought he could quit on his own. That just spiraled into three bottles a day rather than a glass and then-

Fuck it, it was fine! After this, he needed to be numb. Alec opened the bottle and took a sip.

The cooking wine was stronger than the one he usually drank, given it's alcoholic content was meant to burn off with heat. It was also salted, and more akin to vinegar than the Merlots he was so used to savoring. 

He did not care and just let the bitter salty taste wash away the negatives.

“Alec!” 

His eyes snapped open upon hearing Riya calling his name. He turned around and nearly dropped the bottle.

There she was sitting on her wheelchair looking at him with utter heartbreak in her big dark eyes. He could see tear trails on her cheeks, and her long hair had been cut short, while still looking as feminine and lovely as always. He'd never seen her looking like this. Not when they got drunk together, not when she lost both times, but tonight she looked as if a part of herself had died under that mask of beauty.

He barely registered when Fabio pried the bottle from his hand and dumped its contents onto the sink.

“What the-?!” He said as he glanced at the blonde.

“No drinking, mio caro! Not on our watch!”

It should've made him livid, he had gotten into fights with bar patrons who had spilled his precious drinks but he couldn't bring himself to fight the nice man who often gently encouraged him, nor could he ignore the woman that was now reaching for him, opening her arms for a hug.

He'd stopped hesitating when it came to her. Maybe there was truth in the Connor's words and he was nothing but her loyal dog. ‘Some guard dog you are! Look at her! You have the gall to spiral and add more onto her burdens, pathetic!’

Wordlessly he walked over to her, fell to his knees and laid his head upon her lap, hugging her. Riya ran her fingers through his hair, wordlessly, sweetly, as if her very touch was divinely healing. Alec muttered that she looked beautiful and gently held her tightly.

“I'm sorry. I called him, he…he's not going to be swayed.”

“I don't care. I don't care about him one bit! Thank you for defending me. I'm just happy you're okay.”

Was he? Drinking cooking wine like a madman after getting into a screaming match over the phone, it didn't scream normality in his eyes. But if Riya didn't mind the mess he was, perhaps he could be less self loathing, just for today.

“Fabio, may I make a request?"

“You name it, dude.”

“I'd like for you to drive us somewhere.”

He couldn't wallow in his own misery. Not when it was his duty to make sure Riya was happy, after losing something so precious. ‘I don't want you to cry anymore.’

She didn't know where they were going, all she knew was that Alec grabbed a backpack and gave Fabio directions for the GPS.

Riya glanced at Alec, who sat beside her rather than at the passenger seat. He hadn't let go of her hand since they arrived.

“Alec, are you okay?”

“No, not really. But it's not important right now. I'm going to take care of you.”

“It's important to me! I don't want you to suffer!”

Silly to say this after everything that took place between them. ‘You certainly didn't help him back then. You don't deserve this man's care!’

“Then let me help you, please. If there's anything that would ease my suffering is to know that I'm pulling my weight when it comes to your recovery.”

She sighed. “Alright, but the same goes for you! I want to help you recover as well.”

He gently pushed away her curls from her face. “I know. Trust me, you've already done more for me than many.”

The van stopped. “Alright lovebirds, we're here. I have some calls to make so you two go on and have fun.”

“Thank you, Fabio.” Alec said.

“Anytime mio caro. Take good care of the queen.”

“Always.”

“I'm right here ya know!” Riya said, making the men smile. 

Alec gently helped her onto the chair and she finally glanced at the scenery. They'd arrived at a familiar place she'd passed in her commutes, but not one she'd ever visited.

“This is the Griffith Park Observatory, right?” Riya asked.

“The one and only, now, let's get lost for a while.”

He wheeled her around to the planetarium, it was empty at this time of night, but that was for the best. The area was quiet and calm as they walked onto a room that looked like they were walking upon planets, moons, and stardust.

“It's so beautiful!”

She looked at the vicinity of sparkling light, yet he looked at her and only her. Despite there being seats, he pulled out a fluffy blanket from his backpack, along with a wide pillow so they could both rest their heads. Alec laid everything down on the floor, just in the middle of the room, where they could see everything all at once.

Riya giggled as he picked her up and gently placed her down on the soft blanket. “Still doing the bridal carry?”

“Of course, nothing but the best for my wife!” He said.

His wife. It still sounded so surreal but so right. Riya didn't want to question why, didn't want to analyze it, or even voice it, for tonight she just wanted to feel it.

Both she and Alec laid on the fluffy blanket as the projected stars above them changed and revealed constellations and neighboring galaxies thousands of light-years away.

They remained silent for a moment, listening to the soft music echoing across the room, and basking in the infinity of the universe. She remembered what he told her back in England ‘There are countless stars in the night sky, a million or more for every person both alive and dead. We are all each other's night sky, no one is truly alone.’

She wasn't alone. She had her family, her friends, her co-workers, her daughter, and she had Alec…

“I'm sorry, that I couldn't give you back what mattered most to you.” He apologized. “Once again I am reminded of the road I chose and how this hurt you, even if I didn't mean for that.”

“You don't have to apologize. Alec please, I was no saint, I understand you had a right to be upset with me and cheer on my downfall.”

“No. Because for all my hurt, you never once deserved this! I only wished…that things had been different between us, that we could remain close even after the game. Fate granted me said wish at too high a price and now I may be with you but only to see the world trying to put you down.

Any lesser person would've given up, but you keep on fighting and on caring for me still and- I can't help but be in awe! The broken pieces are shattered over and over again and even if they're as small as dust you keep putting them back together! It's admirable.”

“It's also somewhat foolish. Not accepting failure is what led me down that cavern, down this path. In personal terms it is a bad choice.” She admitted.

“Oh. Then why do so?”

She reached for his hand, intertwining them together. “Because this path allowed me to keep you. So there are blessings to be found in it still.”

Letting herself be hurt just for the sake of him wasn't what he'd wanted. Not when he couldn't return the favor. Not when the mere attempt made him fall apart again. But her words clawed at his hardened heart and made it beat slightly faster yet again. He didn't feel as if he was carrying a stone in his chest anymore. 

“I should be the one uplifting you, lovely Countess.”

She giggled, oh how she'd miss that nickname. “I like returning your praise. It is well overdue.

And trust me, while I'm forever grateful that you always stand up for me, I don't want you do it if it causes you such pain. Please Alec, for my sake, don't ever do more than what you can handle.”

Looking into loving yet tired dark eyes made the decision easy, yet he was left still with longing. “I will do as you ask.  But then, how can I help you?”

Her eyes glanced at the sparkling roof of the planetarium. “Tell me about the stars…”

He did. Every constellation remembered and individual star cluster was lovingly described in both intellectual and poetic terms. Alec stared at the ceiling and pointed to the celestial bodies he described, but every so often he'd feel those beautiful eyes starting at him rather than the ceiling.

Their gazes met and he chuckled nervously. “Riya, you're meant to be looking at the stars.”

She gently kissed his forehead and cuddled close to him. “The stars pale in comparison to you.”

Seems like he wasn't the only poet in this room. Those sweet loving words left him speechless so he just held onto her until she fell asleep on his chest, lulled by the sound of his racing heartbeat.

You could see more stars in the planetarium than outside of it. Fabio sat on the hood of the van, smoking a cigarette as he dialed a number.

“Fabi, I've told you I have late night shifts on Tuesday's! Now whatever are you calling me for?!”

“I am so sorry mia cara, I just needed to inform you that we might require your services sooner rather than later.”

He heard the voice on the other line sigh. “Do not tell me the Black Widow is in danger?”

“Physical? No we are well past that unfortunately but emotional? Oh Nemesis if you had been here today Blake Industries would be writing down obituaries.” He said with an exhale of smoke.

“Then I'll be there when you call for me. But am I enough? Being named after the goddess of revenge seldom gives me the ability to deliver justice alone.”

“Oh no mia adorada, this is just the beginning. I know our beautiful sea nymph is plotting something from which the likes of demonic creatures would cower in terror.”

The feminine voice laughed. “I love to hear such words. Do tell Porscha that I will do my part. But as a mortician, please don't make things too difficult to embalm, unless you're ready to pay extra.”

“Nemesis, you and I both know there are fates worse than death.” He said darkly as the flames of his cigarette went out.

Fiore remained quiet and still as Sergei gently applied the healing cream to her marked wrists. The ruler markings were fading, and perhaps soon enough she could forget their look but not the stinging pain whenever her punishment was carried out.

“Don't think about it much, little princess. In time it'll be but a memory.” Sergei said as he finished and gently hugged her. 

One day she hoped the man would tell her why he spoke those words with such sincerity. Because if she was to believe him, it meant he spoke from experience 

Porscha had just put her son to bed. She sat beside Sergei, who silently gave her a kiss and let her lean on him. Fiore reached out her hand to hold hers, and the woman held it, smiling at her despite the rage and frustration she still carried.

Unlike the adults there was little she could do about the situation. She had no money, cconnections, or anything worthwhile other than sharing in their rage.

Fiore hated the fact that she set up the chain of events that would cause this outcome. ‘If I hadn't given Riya the disadvantage then this wouldn't have happened!’ She internally roared. But no, her ‘mother’ had forgiven her. She'd been absolved by the person she wronged! Didn't that count for anything?! Shouldn't this mean that Connor wouldn't get his way?! Well no, because the man still had a fortune to burn on his hatred. 

Fiore had never really liked him, only tolerating him because he was friends with her father, but it seemed like her intuition had been right.

Reynold walked out of the mansion with his phone on hand. “I've made the official post that Riya is no longer playing the Countess, and made sure to word it politely. There are filters in place and the hate comments have been scrubbed.

Celebrity drama sites and shows are already trying to milk the controversy but because Riya herself didn't react negatively they have no ammo. Some have even been sympathetic toward her so we could make a reversal. Though the majority deems this to be well-deserved ‘karma’ for our leading lady."  The agent said while making air quotes.

Sergei was quiet, but an aura of anger radiated from him. Silent cold rage that made her think of a snowstorm. Meanwhile his wife was the opposite and a mere gaze from those pools of onyx black were enough to cause a wildfire.

“This was out of bounds!”

“You yourself predicted ‘The Devil’ would make an appearance in the future.” Reynold said. 

He looked the most calm out of the group but Fiore could see him gripping the armrest of the chair near the pool as he sat. He stared at the crystalline blue water, probably wishing he could drown their rival.

“I hoped to be wrong!" Porscha cried out. "I've had bad readings before, but the goddess seldom leads me wrong…If I had known he'd strike this soon, I would've found a way to prevent this!" She said with a heavy heart and watery eyes.

Sergei stood up. “My beloved family, I believe we have a conundrum at hand.

I've not been man of revenge for long time. Even those who wronged me I've left in the blizzard of my past. But this! It cannot go unpunished!” The man said as he stood and reached for the deck of tarot cards upon the table.

Reynold nodded. “We all agree that if Mr. Blake hadn't done this we all would've been more than happy to forget his damned existence. But he dared attack outside of the confines of the game. Therefore he's declared it to be fair play, if we do the same.” 

“Alchemy law states that one cannot obtain anything without exchanging something of equal value. As much as I would love to tear him apart with my bare hands, we must attack him in the same manner as he did us.”

That gave Fiore an idea. “I remember he said his workers weren't unionized. Can we do something with that?”

Saying that made all of the adults grin. “You're onto something Fiore!” Porscha said. “Blake Industries is two generations old, I am certain that there must be something there waiting to be exposed! Couple that with opposing press and a unionized workforce and perhaps we can bring the karma.”

Sergei chuckled gently selecting a card from the deck and tossing it at his wife. The thin card flew and spun in the air until Porscha grabbed it in between two of her fingers.

“Then, is fate decided?” He asked.

Porscha looked at the card and smiled wickedly. “It is. Everyone, we wil bring forth retribution soon enough.”

Porscha revealed the card, causing Fiore to smile with mischievous glee she didn't think she had left. For a moment she six years old again, arriving at Tipaskaw with a wicked giggle and her complex plans.

Before her brown eyes, there was the 11th card of the major arcana in its upright position. Showing only a familiar goddess with a scale and sword, and labeled with its name and meaning. 

Justice.

I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, Start hating!

You take the breath right out of me!
You left a hole where my heart should be
You gotta fight just to make it through 
'Cause I will be the death of you...

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Your Eyes are Red

It started again…
Claiming a friend
I couldn't be…
I've never been!
I'm all alone
Out in the cold
I'll never know,
your sugarcoat

“It was foolish, to know it was bad for me and to do it again even if I am healing. But the rage consumed me, and I needed an outlet that didn't involve violence.” Alec confessed.

He was yet again in therapy and spoke to Baile calmly about what had occurred two nights ago. The therapist nodded along, writing and thinking of what to say.

“I'd hardly count this as a relapse. There were no withdrawal symptoms afterward, you stopped when asked and didn't seek out more alcohol. 

I view it as a revelation. You already knew tragedy and anger fueled your addiction and this sudden attack quickly confirmed that. We must find you an outlet to use when you're enraged that does not involve drinking.”

Alec sighed. Despite it all he still thought himself above certain parts of recovery. He accepted he was addicted. He wanted to do better as person, to not repeat his mistakes, to leave the worst days of his life behind. He was trying, and he changed his environment and relationships too. So then why?!

“I…used to love music. My late mother taught me to play piano, but since her demise I stopped. I could use that as a way to soothe my emotions while coming to terms with losses.”

“That sounds wonderful, though I do worry it could make you depressed if you're not over your mother's passing. Do you think we could talk about her before i make an assessment?”

Alec nodded. “I may not want to but I must. It's cruel of me to never mention her, and I can't avoid facing the past forever.”

“Then, tell me Alec, about your dearest mother.”

What could he say? Oftentimes children exaggerated their parents best attributes, but with Helena, he never felt like he exaggerated. She was just that sweet.

“Helena Çelik was a wonderful woman. I don't remember her ever being cruel or harsh, even on people who might've been deserving of her ire. She was very kind, and sweet, had the aura of a person who could ease your worries with just her presence. She was also so very smart. Her love for music remains unmatched and she admired every form of art even those she could never come to master. She was a wonderful mother, and she loved me and my father with all of her heart. There's not a day that goes by where we don't think of her or miss her.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman.” Baile said with a smile. “I'm certain she'd be happy to know you regard her highly and are seeking to better yourself.”

“Yes she…she always thought highly of me. I do feel slightly guilty about that. She believed in me and sometimes it feels like I am letting her down.”

“No Alec, that's the self loathing speaking. You must rise above that, this spiral was something that happened, a pain left untreated that just got worse, it is not a stain upon your character or what others think of you. So please remember that. I don't think there's anything that could make your mother think lowly of you if she was alive today.”

“I appreciate it…The truth is its not just my spiral. I was there when she passed.”

Baile's honey green eyes went wide. “Oh, oh my condolences. How old were you?”

“I was eight years old. It…it was hard.”

“Can you recall it?”

“As if it had been yesterday…” He said.

Nobody really thinks about death when they're young, unless of course they're stricken with a terminal condition. Yet that was not the case for Helena either. She'd lived with epilepsy for two decades now, so why would she think she'd expire from it during a rainy morning?

May 9th, 1998. The sky was grey, dew droplets covered the grass and flowers outside. Helena was by his side, the both of them seated by her piano playing along to the newest sheet music she'd acquired.

“Look mama! I'm doing it!” Alec said as he played the piece perfectly. His small hands weren't as graceful as his mother's but they attempted to replicate her talent. 

“Good job, sweetheart!” She said as she clapped. “I knew you could do it!”

“I have to! I wanna play this song for my wife!” Alec admitted.

“Oh! Well, you're much too young to be wedded but I am sure a very lucky lady will be happy to have you serenading her someday!”

“Serenade?”

“Yes sweetie, you can dance with her, play to her, sing to her, but I think she'd be happy to receive your original words too. 

Art made from the soul is the most romantic gift of all.”

He was too young to fully understand her words, but still he nodded and leaned on her as the two kept on playing the piece.

But in a split second the soft piano notes turned into frenetic noise as she began to tremble and shake. He knew what it was, so Alec quickly ran off and retrieved a pillow. Helena fell backwards but didn't hurt herself thanks to his intervention.

Alec made sure she was on her side as the seizure took place. From the looks of it her eyes had gone white and her mouth filled with foamy fluid. That was his cue to call emergency service and give directions as he tightly held her hand.

The paramedics arrived swiftly and he was taken alongside his mother to the hospital. 

“Has the seizure lasted longer than five minutes?” A paramedic asked.

“Yes! It's been seven minutes now!” Alec answered.

He knew things were dire from the look on everyone's faces as they did what they could. Regardless he didn't let go of Helena, nor she of him.

Upon arrival at hospital things became a blur. He remembered running alongside the emergency personal as they rushed Helena to the ER, the diagnoses of ‘status epilepticus’ was given and doctors came to their aid.

For a brief moment everything fell calm. Helena was coming to, her eyes returning to emerald green and frantically looking for him.

“I'm here mama!” He said.

She smiled sweetly. “My sweetheart, I love you so much.” She muttered in a hushed breathy voice. “Alec, be good okay? Mama loves you so much. You and your father are the lights of my life…”

This time a sharp painful breath took over and she began gasping for air. Another seizure began.

Alec held her hand, this time she wasn't holding, she was squeezing him tightly enough to leave red crescents upon his small hand. He didn't care in the slightest.

“Her lungs are filling with fluid! We have to drai-”

The room fell silent as a loud distinctive beeping sound filled it. To him it felt like a shrill and despite his young age, Alec knew what that sound meant.

“Mama? Mama!” He cried out, as her tight grip instantly loosened and her hand fell out of his.

“Time of death, 10:36 A.M.”

Everything went silent and blurry after those words were spoken. He only responded upon hearing Demir's voice.

His father was younger then, but still as wise and before he could say anything or ask for anything the man just kneeled down and opened his arms, letting Alec run to him and hug him as tightly as he could.

“It's okay, Alec. Papa's here. It's okay.”

He cried for what felt like hours, and Demir held him until he felt like he was falling asleep. Alec was seated outside the room where Helena had died. His father had wrapped him in his coat, and only let go of him to see his wife before she was to be taken to the mortuary. 

Alec hadn't told him, but the child did hear him cry when they showed him her lifeless body. Just outside the room he heard the scream that seemed to tear through his father as he cried uncontrollably.

‘Get up, go hug him, say something! He needs you too!’

But try as he might he was frozen in place, clinging to his aching hand and tracing the scars she'd left. He desperately wanted Helena to hug him, to comfort him, to sweetly tell him how much she loved him…

She never would again. Helena Çelik was gone forever.

“It was as if all joy had been torn from our life. My father put me in a boarding school as soon as he could. The man knew it was only a matter of time before he fell to pieces and I…I needed him, needed her, needed something! 

For a time reading filled that void, but after losing Cheryll and Daniel I left the written word behind, then it was alcohol but that nearly led me to the grave and now…I feel aimless.”

“Firstly, I am sorry to hear about what happened with your mother. Witnessing such a tragic event at a tender age must've been difficult, along with the pain of losing her and the aftermath as well. I commend your father for knowing he'd be unfit to care for you in such an event but perhaps it would've been better for everyone if he'd found a family member to take you in for a while or perhapsan institution more suited to provide care. No doubt a smart and well behaved student like you fared better than many in a boarding school yet I doubt the ambiance helped with your grieving.

Secondly from what you tell me it appears your coping mechanisms fluctuate with time, and follwoing another traumatic event they shift. As of now you're in a blissful new marriage and acclimating to LA life, so previous behavior leads me to think it'd be best to get you healthier coping mechanisms now and make sure you're able to keep them even if a new crisis arises. From your interests…How about writing?”

“Writing?”

“Yes, you're an avid reader, a poet, you already wrote a banger song during your time on the show from what Nemmy tells me, and you have a very good way with words. Start off small, with journals or maybe letters to an emotion then you expand your repertoire to poems and stories.”

It didn't sound like a bad idea. “I can try it.”

“Good! If that isn't your thing we could revisit music, though it seems you'd rather wait before that.”

“You're correct, but I cannot avoid it forever. There's a lot I want to do, I just need time and to know that it won't send me back down memory lane.”

“Baby steps, it's what we're here for.”

The clock chimed and he knew their time was up. “Not staying for group therapy?”

“Not yet, but soon. It feels easier with each session.”

“Atta boy! Then I'll see you next week, take care Alec.”

“You too.”

With that he stepped out in the hall, startled by noise coming from the reception area. Jax was trying to keep paparazzi and reporters away from the entrance, but they were no match for the young man.

‘What the-’

Alec would've turned back if not for the fact that he was spotted and swarmed in less than 5 seconds.

“Mr. Çelik, what can you tell us about your marriage with Riya?” “How did you two reconcile?” “What does your family think about this?” “Will you be having more children?”

The amount of people surrounding him, the flashes of the cameras and the invasive questions made him back away silently and hope that he could run off. However the chatter, voices and cameras were silenced when an air horn sound echoed in the hall.

Baile had left his office, visibly pissed off and was walking towards the mob with terrifying rage. “Excuse you all, but this is a rehab facility! Our guests deserve peace and quiet while they recuperate and you, pack of vultures, are disturbing treatment! So stop harassing my client unless you want to leave with a black eye!” He roared before grabbing Alec's arm and rushing away from the mayhem with him.

“Call Fabio and tell him to pick you up in the back!”

Alec nodded. “Thanks.”

“Don't thank me yet, my friend. You're not out of the woods until you're home!”

Wait! Home?! Porscha was the only one home with the kids, that meant-

‘No! I need to warn Riya!’

Ever since that fateful day at the studio she felt tired. Everyone had done their best to keep her happy, and subtly keep watch over her as they all could sense her mind was trying to push her off the precipice again. 

But this time she could hold on a little tighter, because of a nice hug under fake starlight. She should take her husband to the planetarium this time and they could have a nice starlit cuddle again.

‘What am I saying?! Riya stop being delusional!’ She chastised herself mentally as Sergei helped wheel her down the flight of stairs of the library. 

“Ugh! Sorry for bumpy ride, we really need more ramps in this city.” He apologized as he slowly moved her down.

“It's fine, you didn't design this Serg. But you're right, accessibility is harsh around here.” Riya said.

They couldn't continue their conversation as soon enough the pair was swarmed by reporters and paparazzi.

‘What the fuck?’

“Riya, is it true you were blacklisted from Blackbird Studios?” “Will you be suing?” “How did you and Alec get together, why marry so quickly?” “Did your ex have anything to do with your blacklist?” “Were you secretly entangled with Alec during the show?”

The questions in rapid succession would've been easy to answer. ‘Yes, No, We got together after the show and married because we wanted to, yes he did, no I wasn't.’

No her silence came because the large crowd made her chair wobble on the feeble stairs. Sergei held onto the chair while pushing the crowd away and keeping them from her, but with such a large number it was a difficult task for one man.

Things took place in slow motion. Someone bumped into her chair and before Sergei could shield her from a fall she felt herself get tilted forward. Thankfully someone caught her, just as she had when she had tried to stand up in desperation all those nights ago.

Alec quickly picked her up. Looking livid at every single person in the vicinity sans her and Sergei. He glanced at the bodyguard. ‘Can you handle them?’ He mouthed.

Sergei nodded and so Alec held on tightly to her in a princess carry. Riya had her arms wrapped around his neck, hiding her scared face from the cameras.

“I got you. Don't let go, I got you.” He said to her sweetly. “Out of my way! First you ambush me and then dare think you can harass her?! Move unless you want a kick in the teeth!”

His usually soothing voice was rough and angry, if not for the sudden and chaotic situation she would've found it alluring. ‘He's like he was in the VR challenge for season one.’ Riya mused, before quickly trying not to think too hard about the way her husband looked in that episode.

Alec rushed them out of there and onto the backseat of Fabio's convertible.

“Everyone okay?!” The blonde asked.

“Good so far, floor it!” Alec said.

And just like that they sped away. Riya stopped clinging to Alec and just stared at his serious and tired face. 

“They cornered me in rehab. I knew they'd try the same with you.”

“They've never been this vicious before. I did get photos and such whenever I'm in a new project. But never a mob desperate for Intel.”

“You two might have to do an interview or something soon then. They're hungry for news, and if you don't give it to them they'll come after you.” Fabio said from the front seat.

“I'll call babygirl then. Sergei either knocked them all out and snuck back to the van. Reynold is with other clients today…think they'll go after Fiore?!”

“Debatable. Children have protections and she's home, but we can't be too cautious by checking.”

Alec sighed. “I don't know how you deal with them.” He said to Riya.

“Publicity is mostly good and I love attention.” She joked. “But I'm not letting them bother you in your vulnerable moments.”

“It goes both ways. The fact that they nearly hurt you-”

Riya pressed a finger to his lips. “Shhh it's okay. If I have you, I know I won't be hurt.”

That was enough to calm the man down and make him turn red.

“Alright, I got an interview scheduled. It'll have to be with you both to get everyone to back away, so be set on your story before the 3rd.” Porscha told them as she paced around the room with a tablet in hand. “As for those morons I got 'em to back off by threatening to press charges. Baile got them banned from the rehab center and if they go near Fiore I can threaten child endangerment. Though there is a flock outside the mansion right now.” She groaned.

Fiore glanced at the mini mob near the gates. Seeing flashes just because she glanced outside. ‘It's like being on Tipaskaw again.’

Her concerned eyes went to her mother, who was sitting beside Alec and Fabio. She looked so tired.

“I broke some cameras. Knocked out some too with just pressure points but I can claim self defense and there's no blood spilled.” Sergei said, still livid at the little encounter.

The agent sighed. “Well in any case, we're just have to be cautious from now on. From home to recording studio, shopping, or hospital and we all go grouped. 

On slightly better news, Julian just called me back and he's making a spin-off for Starlight Diaries. So Riya you're back in session!”

The actress's eyes lit up beautifully. “Really?! Oh I know I can always count on Julian! Thanks flower!...But how will I play Sati Chopra again? I have to wait until New Year's for a full recovery and another month for physical therapy.”

“Not to worry, I know he'll find a way to let you act in your chair without issue.” 

Fiore smiled upon hearing the news. If this role got Riya back on track perhaps the blacklist would just be a temporary setback. Still the child made contingency plans to help her family. She wasn't about to let them lose it all over petty revenge.

“Speaking of issues, wasn't Nemesis coming in today to give Riya therapy?” Fabio asked.

“Harsh.” Riya muttered. “I'm calm.”

They all glanced at her.

“Okay okay, fair. So where is she?” Riya asked.

“We'll know when she gets here.” Porscha said.

“Nemesis…Is she Baile's wife?”

“The one and only. Baile's thaught her enough about mental health that she could be qualified as a therapist if needed, but she works in a different field and since she doesn't have a license or office we can pass this up as a visit from a friend. That way the media can never get the scoop on Riya.”

“You guys are good!” Fiore said. She enjoyed how crafty and meticulous the staff was. If only they'd all been a team during the game. That would've been fun.

She was startled by the sound of a shot coming from the outside.

“Nemmy's here!” Porscha said.

Fiore curiously went to the window and stood beside Porscha.

“Alright you ominid imitation of fleas, listen up! I am going to drive through that gate once it's open and if any of you dares to sneak in not only am I getting you all sued for trespassing but I am going to leave you so bloody and bruised the hospital will think I went off the Ziprasidone! Got it?!”

No one dared go in behind the red SUV when the electrical gates opened. Fiore observed as the loud woman who had just roared at the paparazzi outside exited her car.

For a second she thought she might be related to Ellie, as she had blood orange hair, pale skin, a face full of freckles and wore fashionable gothic clothes. But it was her eyes that gave Fiore pause, they were red.

“I think that's our cue to leave. Alec, can we go paint the minis on the terrace?” She requested.

“Sure.” He said, then he turned to Riya. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

These two hopeless nerds were going to stress her out. Weren't they the parents? Oh well, she'd just have to yap at Alec like in the old days.

They were seated at the terrace near the pool setting up the minis when Fiore chose to drop the bomb.

“You're in love with Riya.”

Alec nearly dropped the paints and brushes. “Pardon?!”

“You're obvious as fuck. First the rescue, then your joke flirting and looking over her like a princess, the fake wedding and now this moment of stepping in front of cameras just for her despite hating attention? You still have feelings for her, and I'm thinking it's love.”

Her father sighed. “Yes. I've accepted that I do have feelings for Riya. I was lying to myself before when I denied them. It's only been a month of close proximity and the wedding scheme but the more time I spend with her the clearer my feelings become.”

“Huh, you admitted easily. Okay, so what's the problem? I think she might be in love with you too.” Fiore said.

“That is irrelevant right now. One look out the windows will prove my point, Fiore. Riya is going through a difficult time, she has to recover physically and emotionally from the wounds left at camp, the media will be hounding her for answers and karmic punishment and to make matters worse Connor has just taken her favorite role away from her. The last thing she needs right now is for the deadweight to tell her he is still crazy about her.”

“Alec-”

“Don't try to deny it. In this moment, I am deadweight! I don't have a job, I'm in rehab that's being fully paid for by Riya, I dont have the charisma necessary for the camera, and the minute I felt overwhelmed I ran for the bottle! The man I am isn't the one that she needs nor wants. 

So I won't be burdening her with my growing feelings. My focus should be on healing and helping. Perhaps after we're both in better places we can discuss this. For now, I'd rather keep silent.”

Fiore nodded. “I won't say anything. But I don't think Riya cares about those things. I have noticed her eyes light up when she's with you, it doesn't seem as if a confession would burden her. If anything, I think your love would be medicine.”

“That's not how things work, kiddo. But I'll take your suggestion to heart.” He said. Then he gently placed his hand over hers. “And no matter what happens between us, know that we both love you and will protect you. Okay?”

“You don't have to say it…but thanks.”

They resumed their painting, as if nothing had happened, but Fiore was giddy to help from the shadows. ‘I'll make sure you're both okay soon. Let me take care of you too.’

She began painting the sorceress mini figure, making sure she had cute big brown eyes, dark skin and the dark brown hair of her mother.

In time, she'd be wielding her magic again, but for now Fiore would make sure to help her get the gentle rest she required.

The demeanor was similar. The pretty woman looked like the embodiment of autumn, with orange red  hair and eyes, pale skin and a black goth dress with maple leaf print and long sleeves.

“Flower!”

“HI Nemmy!” Porscha greeted her with a hug. “It's good to see you! Now come meet your idol!”

Nemesis squealed in delight upon seeing her. The redhead took the hand that Riya offered and enthusiastically shook it. “Hello! I am so pleased to meet you, Riya! I'm a big fan!”

She giggled. “Nice to meet you too! Porscha has spoken very highly of you.”

“Haha she exaggerates.”

“Liar, you just used a blank to scare off the leeches that's hardcore.” Porscha said.

Nemesis waved a hand. “One must be prepared, old friend! Now let's get cozy and gossip! That'll be the best starting point.”

“I'll go get you two treats.” Porscha said.

“I don't mind if you stay.” Riya said.

“Much appreciated hon, but this is a matter for the two of you to discuss, not me. Besides, my boys are upstairs and they both must be missing the cuddles!” Porscha said before heading for the kitchen.

“Always a hug oriented lady that friend of ours.” Nemesis said with a smile. “Shall we?”

“Sure.”

They were seated at the living room with a slice of lava cake each and a cup of black tea with lemon. Riya was thankful that after the blacklist most of her co-workers sent support and Jules even delivered her favorite cake ‘on the house’ to try and cheer her up. It alleviated the wound in her heart to see how much support she got, and confirmed she'd chosen correctly in following her dreams rather than abandon them for the man who sought to crush them.

“So, first things first. Unlike my beloved Baile, I am not a certified therapist, however I did help him with his psychology studies and have the knowledge, just not the expertise or the diploma. This may not be the most ideal way to get treatment but Porscha told me you wish for this to remain a secret and the less clues we give the press, the better. Is this correct?”

“Yes. I don't want them to use my mental health or healing against me. From what I've seen there are many praying on my downfall. I don't want to give them the satisfaction.”

“Noted. Then we shall just keep these as tea time so to speak.” Nemesis said with a wink. “Now, what is it that ails you dear Riya?”

Oh where to start? The crushing guilt of discovering she was capable of great evils a year ago? The mess of a relationship she just exited and now put her career in peril? The bones that healed yet pained her as they mended? The guilt of seeing her friends bend over backwards to fix her foolish mistakes when they should be relaxing and enjoying their individual successes? The fact that she was terrified of failing the sweet child in her custody? Or maybe, the fact that the only one making this hell bearable was the man she nearly lost and now desperately wanted…

“Everything ails me. And it's my fault! I've done horrible things, Nemesis. Hurt many people, hurt myself, and I'm terrified that all I am is hurt.” She finally blurted out.

Nemesis nodded, adding more lemon to her tea and taking a sip. “I see. Well, you are well on your way to redemption just by admitting to your faults. It's something that takes a long time for many, the fact that you've admitted it shows maturity and willingness to improve.

All I know of you is the woman I saw on the small screen. She was ruthless and relentless, worthy of admiration in her pursuit of victory, and an icon. But, she was also sweet and lonely, wearing a mask to protect her gentle heart as the first run of the game required it to harden.”

Riya wanted to cry. How did a woman that just met her today understand her better than some people she'd knew for longer and people who'd she'd been clear with from the start? It was a frustrating mystery.

‘No, no mystery. None of them, ever really listened.’

“I appreciate your words very much. Not many people who simply know my by the show would dare to look deeper. I guess I shouldn't blame them, after everything I did the last thing I deserve is grace.”

Nemesis gently took her hand. “My dear, everyone deserves gentle grace. What you do with it afterward it's what matters.”

Well…then perhaps she wasn't doing too bad.

“You asked what ails me, is it okay if I start with the one that hurts the most?”

“Speak to me of whatever you feel it's most urgent to address. I shall listen, and I shall help you.”

She took a breath and began. “I'm worried for the state of my career. It's what caused this situation to get so dire on the first place, and it's what will be used to hurt me In the long run.

The truth is Alec and I reconciled because… He found me after I attempted suicide.” She said as she pulled up her sleeve and showed her wrist to Nemesis.

The redhead gently examined the wounded skin. It was slowly healing, no longer swollen nor bloodstained but still marked a darker shade than her skin and painful to the touch.

“Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear that.” Nemesis said softly. “Suicidal thoughts are certainly difficult to handle, though in your situation it's understandable, anyone facing such an ache and uncertainty would feel on edge.”

“I know it was foolish. That I have people who love me regardless and who'd take care of me but, I still felt like a burden! What good am I if I can't do what I was born to, if I hold everyone I love back, if my story is left just to be of mockery and a lesson in greed?! 

Disability isn't a punishment, its not meant to be treated as such but in my case it was unexpected and brought down everything I had planned.”

“Listen to me, you're not foolish for being in pain and seeing death as a liberation. It happens to most of us, and I am grateful that in your case it didn't lead you to the grave. I'm also proud you understand that a disability is not to be considered a form of punishment, many would just call it that and mockingly say you deserved It. But it's not, it's something that happens to many and while difficult to adapt to I've been told you're doing an excellent job! 

As for the other things you told me, I fear the media won't let up until they bleed you dry. You more than me know how greedy they can be when it comes to scandal, and having a reality tv ‘villainess’ paying for her crimes is a juicy scandal indeed. 

Your marriage and new family life will pique interest but is easy to sense that underneath it all they crave to punish you. It's concerning, for even celebrities that seek to fix their problems in rehab end up dealing with the media circus. Baile's had to chase em off clients many times before.

So while I'd suggest taking a break from the public, I understand you can't do that in your position, so my second option would be to limit their coverage to what you want and not dare answer anything that could make you spiral. If any question gets to be too much you simply say ‘no comment’. That way you'd be answering yet not telling them secrets you can't bear to have revealed.”

Riya giggled. “I'd sound like my husband.” she joked.

Maybe Alec had the right idea all along. The man had dealt with cameras and nosy fans but managed to stay under the radar for two years during his spiral. ‘He's stronger than me in that sense. How do you do it?’

“I'll try to do as you say. I'm not feeling like chatting up the press too much. Between the injuries, the blacklist and Connor…Sometimes I yearn for the days I was invisible.”

Back then she couldn't afford much, get any opportunities, or even make connections with her hectic painful life. Still at least the quiet was a companion and she'd be given help and sympathy rather than scorn in this situation. Everyone really loved the Riya of the second season more than the one she was now. 

Both she and Nemesis had a few bites of the lava cake before resuming. The pale woman did stare at her intensity before asking another question. “Do you think, Mr. Blake was a deciding factor on your situation? I do not mean the studio purchase or the breakup but on this as a whole. I notice that mentioning him caused your mood to sour.”

Riya looked down at her hands, gripping the teacup’s saucer as if to break it at the mere mention of the man. ‘Funny, there was once a time thinking of him was enough to make me happy. Now his mere name is like a curse.’

“I loved him so much…enough to question if I should give up everything I've wanted before we even met, just to keep him by my side. But thankfully my mind won over my heart, and I reminded myself that I shouldn't waste this golden opportunity to shine for a relationship that had merely just began and was already precarious. 

He cost me the win, before either of us knew I'd have a blooming career after the show. If it wasn't for Reynold then I'd still be struggling with auditions and probably even out of my own money as my savings were nearly empty by the time I joined the show. 

I…I do think he was a decisive factor in my situation. It's all he wanted after all.”

“Elaborate.” Nemesis said, taking another sip of tea.

Now that the woman had her opening the floodgates and unloading her frustrations, Riya didn't know if she could be stopped. But until she voiced it all, she wouldn't be able to move past it. ‘It's alright. You're free to say it now.’

“Before the game even began he was already suggesting I give everything up to settle with him. Back then I stupidly considered it, but the answer was always no. When we were both cast for the game, I knew it'd be our last trial by fire. Either we rise above it or we crumble. 

I was given the answer sooner than expected when Kristal made us all dive in deep water and I could do nothing but panic. Connor saved me and tried to help, but all I could think of was ‘If you hadn't abandoned me before, this wouldn't have happened!’ It was clear that I wouldn't be able to make it far in the game if I prioritized Connor. So before we became each other's burden or got hurt, I ended things. Regardless of the game’s outcome I was willing to talk things over afterward, maybe even reconcile if he was open to the idea and I moved past my grudges. He didn't listen to a word I said and only focused on the fact that I wanted to play my way again…Guess that was a cardinal sin in his eyes.

But as fate would have it, I was given another choice to make, join the villains or stay loyal to the man who'd already made it clear he disagreed with me. Obviously I chose the alliance and to this day I feel that was my best decision.” 

It was, where would she be without them? Specifically without Alec and Fiore, her husband and daughter, the two she wish she'd done more for during the game. At least she had them now, and they were one of the many reasons she hadn't chased the blade or poison again.

Riya resumed. “It all came to a boil during the concert, my mistakes cost us safety and if not for Alec then I would be been out of the game by then. Instead I had to take Connor out for my own safety.

He should've known! I made it clear I'd prioritize the game! I thought he'd understand, given he prioritized his morals over my win last time, but no! Even when I wanted to leave the door open for reconciliation he slammed it shut without hesitation! Fine then! Regret ever caring about me, regret ever loving me, regret every moment! If I was such an unforgivable monster why dare take me back after the season ended?! Whatever. He was finally gone. 

And contrary to his delusions, his abandonment didn't mean I was alone. Instead, I was finally able to get close to someone who understood me better.”

If asked about this during the game she would've denied it, or just not considered it too special but now, befriending Alec felt like one of the few shining moments she had in this hellish season. Just them joking around, plotting, spending time together or even having acting lessons, it had been as blessed then as it was blessed now. ‘I should've known you were special to me then, shame I didn't see it before we got hurt.’

“I found my footing, my strategy, my most trusted companion and was well on my way to end again. Even if I didn't win, I could go knowing that I did it all my way, on my own, and with no regrets…but then he came back!

Nina paired me with him for the comebacks and despite his man tantrum at elimination he expected me to help! Sorry what?! You want me to bring you back just so that you can make me lose again?! Not a chance!

But it was not up to me. I tried to stall, to help Fiore win, to do as I wished, he practically dragged me onto that stupid glider when I refused!

I think it was then when any shred of love I had left for him evaporated. You're going to cost me a golden opportunity for daring to leave Aiden to his luck on a cliff, yet happily drag me to jump off one against my will just to make me lose again?! Did the hypocrisy not register in his feeble brian?! Did he think I'd still crawl back after all that?! Fuck no!

Perhaps in another life, but not in this one. He made the endgame so stressful with just his presence. To my luck the ticking time bomb that was Yul and Grett imploded, then we lost Gabby, our grip on Ally was very limited and…my fears of repeating the mistakes of season two nearly cost me my bond with Alec. I don't know if ill ever forgive myself for hurting him so badly, for denying him when I loved him so much, and for making things worse for him when instead I should've been the one he could rely on. Guess my worries have a tendency to take over.

Through hell and high water I made it. I had to betray, to be cruel, to manipulate and to cause more pain than I wanted to. I swear to every god that is and ever was that I didn't want to injure him! Despite everything, I didn't want to hurt him like that! But…in the end, that was the only way to finally tear him away from my side. And after what has occurred I've lost the guilt I once had for that mistake.

He was gone, but that didn't mean he wasn't a factor in my downfall! Oh no, I couldn't just lose, he had to be the one to break me apart! He left Jake and Ally to carry out his will and then orchestrated for me and Yul to get the disadvantages!

I keep replaying that day in my mind. Having to dig through the dirt and break nails getting three measly gems, Yul was not going to go the extra mile for me, not for such a meager cut of the prize and our bad blood. It was a guaranteed 3rd place no matter how bad I tried to change the outcome through fair play.

So I turned to cheating as my last resort, and…it nearly ended me. So many damn things could've gone wrong and I- I didn't even consider it, I was too wrapped up in finally getting the win I craved that I could've ended up killing both Yul and I for it!”

She could picture it around her. The dark cave, the fence she climbed to get the sparkly little gems above ground and behind the barbed wire, Yul opposing the plan until she smirked and convinced him, them getting what they needed and considering their next move before screeching noises and loud steps echoed around them and sent them running, and then that dead end cliff, the scorpions, their stupid attempt to get away where she ended up being pushed to the edge, holding on for a moment before plunging into darkness with a scream and a crack. It was all so avoidable, so very avoidable if not for the man who saw her being wheeled around and who's only response to that was a smirk. Not even Ally and Jake were that happy, and they were the ones who'd secured themselves silver and gold respectively.

Riya felt herself crying and being grounded by a pale delicate hand upon her shoulder. Nemesis gently let her breathe and sob until she was calm.

“He laughed. He laughed at my misery as if it was a reward for him! No one of them did! Not Jake, not Ally, not Aiden, not Alec, not Grett, not even Yul! He was the only one relishing in it! 

I thought about cutting him some slack. After all, I hurt him and had to feign indifference, he was just paying me back. But I let him be after he lost because that was as far as the anger went, just the game. Even out of the game he was relishing in my pain! Why?! He got what he wanted, I lost! Did he need me to cry out his name in agony? To beg for forgiveness?! Too bad, better dead than made a spectacle of!

Then he took it further after he didn't get his desired results and stuck his nose in my work! It's not just me who you blacklisted! Whoever supports me will blacklisted too! Just for going against his narrative! If the new season fails then it'll be an entire crew of actors, cameramen, wardrobe staff, and post production staff without that income!

But of course Rich McGee doesn't care! Man never went hungry to bed in his life, to him this was just ‘rightful punishment’ I still deserved! If he couldn't have me he'd doom me! If he couldn't convince me he'd force the outcome he wanted! If he couldn't get what he wanted then he'd make sure I didn't either!

I wasn't who he wanted and believed me to be and for that I had to pay! For that, he had to be a factor in my downfall, because who dares defy his morals and point of view must be corrected! Because regardless of what we had, he needed to break the faulty doll that didn't suit his tastes! Because he hated me more than he ever loved me! 

I wish I'd never met him! I want him to forget me! To forget we ever crossed paths! To let me be happy away from him, be it here on in the grave-”

Before she could finish that chilling thought, Nemesis pulled her into a hug, letting her cry out until she fell silent and could be released from the redhead's grasp.

“Shhhh sweetie, no there'll be no graves for you, and there'll be no more swords for him to pull through you either.”

“I really needed to say it all, so thanks for making me face it. I'm just so tired and really can't bear to burden the others with this.” Riya admitted.

“Know that you're not a burden to any of your loved ones, but if you'd prefer to let it out in our teatime feel free to do so.

As for Mr. Blake don't beat yourself up over what happened. The little I've seen of him tells me this is a problem you couldn't have fixed.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“Connor Blake was a man born into wealth and by his own admission he dated plenty of women who asked for commitment he did not want to give. I can assume that he's used to getting what he wants since youth, and he's also the one putting an end to his relationships.

Now that you finally got him to realize he's not a teenager and that he perhaps wants to settle down he pendulum swung in the opposite direction and is desperate to marry quick, have kids, and settle into domestic bliss. That wouldn't be an issue if not for the fact that he was dating you, a woman who's much younger than him and only now making her dreams come true. It's clear you wouldn't be in that much of a rush to start a family or settle down. Couple that with the fact he put you in peril during your season and refuses to even acknowledge it and this was a doomed endeavor.

He doesn't think he was wrong to try and move past his betrayal without acknowledging it or understanding that if you hadn't gotten lucky after season two then he just sunk your dreams and forced you into depending fully on him. Again, understandable, man's not used to consequences or push back. But as someone who saw you voice your grievances on that dock and reasonably set boundaries, I cannot say you were in the wrong there.

Sadly, he didn't listen to reason, not yours, nor Alec, nor even Miriam. So when you proved you'd prioritize the game over him, the man snapped. Instead of reflecting while at the motel he chose to return to the game, ebb away any bit of good grace he had with you just to force a win, and then made it his mission to cause your downfall. As such, he tried to turn everyone even more against you, took away your most reliable ally only to then backstab him too, fell for your machinations despite all warnings and then felt insulted when everyone else including you and told him what the end would be before the tides turned. To add the cherry atop the sundae he chose to give up his ambitions just to make you lose and took every necessary step to make it happen. Which resulted in the disaster we are now dealing with.

If he had just let you play and ‘doom’ yourself all on your own then I might have some sympathy left for his situation. But you warned him, everyone else warned him, and he had every opportunity to walk away. Instead he remains hell bent in punishing you because you were likely the first person to ever tell him no, and he was the one to continue the feud outside the game, not you.”

She sighed. “You're right. I just feel bad Alec got caught in the crossfire. He really appreciated him.”

“A sad outcome no doubt but if Alec himself has accepted then you have nothing to worry about.”

Having someone on her side untangling this mess and giving her leniency despite them being strangers made her feel slightly at ease. Perhaps not everyone would be against her.

‘No she just doesn't know everything. If you tell her she'll call you out for being a mosnter!’

“Nemesis, I believe the whole situation with Connor has been the biggest source of stress for me in and out of game but it wasn't the detonant for this disaster because I-”

Before she could speak a loud metal tune blasted across the room. Nemesis took out her phone. “Excuse me for a sec.” She apologized. “Hello? Hi my lord! Oh okay! I'll get on that. See you at home, love ya!”

Riya smiled upon seeing the sweetness on the woman's face. The one who called was probably her husband.

“I'm so sorry about that, unfortunately we have to cut this short today Baile has to stay late at work since a patient needs extra care today. So I have to pick up our little blossom at daycare. But I promise to come back soon and we may talk again. Is that okay?”

“You're always welcome here, and thanks for today. I feel better after letting it all out.”

“My pleasure! Worry not sweetie, karma will deliver and everything will be well again soon. You have the drive and team to make it so. I'm rooting for you.”

Maybe she wouldn't be rooting for her forever but for now Riya chose to smile and bid her new friend farewell. 

‘Just hold on, if not for you, for them…’

The past week had been a set of upheavals. Alec was making good progress and he was growing much more accustomed to the LA life. Sadly for him, that meant getting used to avoiding the paparazzi and reporters that hounded around him and his family like vultures. Porscha and Sergei did a great job protecting him, but he wouldn't depend on them forever. Not when their duty was to his wife.

Today Riya was to meet with an old director that had a new project in the works. The man called up Porscha and insisted on having the starlet on the show, given she played a beloved character in the original space opera and was now needed for this spinoff. He couldn't be happier, even if this wasn't his triumph. 

“A smile looks good on you.” Riya purred as she glanced at him.

Alec was currently wheeling her through the halls of the studio, thankfully everyone had been sweet and accommodating as they waved hello and gave directions to the new set.

“I am very happy right now.” He said. “You can take your rightful place in the spotlight again.” 

Riya smiled. “It's good to be back. I loved this show and everyone on the staff is very kind and talented.” she beamed. “Just uh…be warned the director is a little eccentric.”

“I'm sure he's nothing I can't handle.”

“Trust me Alec, you haven't met Julian Wilder.”

He should’ve listened, as they arrived on the closed set to be met with eyes upon them. Many people smiled and waved hello, but loudest among them was the voice of a brunette man with glasses and a fashionable sweater and an assortment of rings.

"OH! Right on time my dear-" He said in calm softly voice until he noticed Alec and glared at him.

‘Now what did i do?’ He wondered.

Julian said nothing as approached softly bumped Alec away from the chair and took to wheeling Riya around himself. "As I was saying, My dear Riya, you are delightfully on time today! I didn't have to track you down a single bit!  Not to mention my lacke-assistants couldn't even handle that job, lest they know you better.  Come, come, we have much to discuss on your wonderful role in this script.  Perfectly molded just for you!”

“I'm looking forward to it!” She said with a smile before glancing back at Alec and mouthing a ‘Sorry’

In other circumstances he'd be more irritated, but given the absolute hell Riya had been through he was happy to see someone other than the team treating her with absolute devotion. So he just chuckled and shrugged, letting her do as she pleased. Riya would call for him if needed.

“Lackeys, really Julian?! Is that what you're calling is us now?!” A man with dark skin and black hair shouted at the director. Julian just waved a dismissive hand.

“Zak, let him be. He's now on 'bewitched by muse' mode.” Another man with tanned skin and wavy dark hair said. “Hello Mr. Çelik! We're huge fans! This is Zak, the director's assistant and I am Mono, this production's head writer. 

Riya suggested we give you a tour of the set and the notes since you're a fellow sci-fi fan. Would you be up for that?”

He glanced at his wife who was being greeted by her fellow co-stars. Alec smiled, happy to know that she remembered how much he loved Science Fiction. 

‘Seems like those long talks at camp were treasured by her too.’

He looked back at Mono. “I'd like that yes.”

“Great! Then allow me to show you around.

The closed set was decorated like a spaceship, with panels for the halls, fake windows that reflected the night sky one would see in space, and many futuristic props.

“Starlight Diaries was mostly centered on the crew of the Yatree star cruiser. For this new spinoff we will divide the focus between the secondary members of the crew and a new cast on earth that makes sure things are running smoothly in the futuristic setting of our planet.” Mono explained.

“Ah I see, is this why Riya is now on the main cast?”

“Yes, Dr. Sati Chopra will be the protagonist this time around! Julian said he wanted to have the anti-villainess take a direct approach in the political intrigue of the season and also have her contribute to the earth plot.”

Good, a protagonical role not only paid more but would also boost Riya's popularity. She needed good publicity.

“Good. I really liked how layered every character was in Starlight Diaries. You did a great job with that.”

“Thank you! Given that you're our well read expert here, mind giving me pointers on the new scripts?”

“I am more of a reader than a writer but sure. I'd be happy to help.”

“It's so good to see you again. I've missed you.” Julian said.

Riya smiled. “I've missed you too.”

"Well, Ms. Sharma-”

“Julian, it's Riya Çelik now.” She lovingly chided.

“I cannot call you by any other name than that so you're still Sharma.”

Ah but for how long? How long until she was disowned and the name Sharma was ripped from her in full? She'd rather hold on to the name of the man that she’d married and the one who'd fully accepted her.

“Riyaaaaa!”

She heard a familiar voice call to her. A friend and actress she'd worked with both on this show and on Black Widow’s Gambit.

“Emma!” She called out.

A pale actress with teal eyes and platinum blonde hair came to hug her. “I'm so happy to see you!”

“You too! Weren't you on the new Black Widow's Gambit season?”

“Nah, got blacklisted when I screeched at Phoenix the second I got to set. Julian and Reynold here made sure I had a cushy offer.”

“Good to hear. Everything going smoothly with hubby?”

“Hehe yes, Hajime had a rough boxing match this week but he won. Don't ask him to take off the sunglasses tho, he still has a smack.”

“I keep saying he needs to calm down in the ring.” Julian said. “But do send me regards…also where are is my assistant with the tea?!” He said with a frustrated eye roll. 

The woman laughed as another actor approached.

“Lay off Zak for a bit. Jules is already setting up the catering table.” A tall Japanese man said.

Riya smiled upon seeing him again. Sen had grown out his black hair a bit since she last saw him and his stunt actor gig certainly made the man turn slightly more muscular. 

“Besides Julian, you don't want to exceed the weight limit.” He joked.

“Dummy, it's just tea!” Julian protested as he huffed and went to the catering table.

“Good to see ya Sen, ready to go to space again?”

“I am! It's good to be here again. Dramatic as he is, Julian is a good director to work with and I think we all need that right now.”

He was right in that. She did need this. A starlit set, a familiar crew and a comforting story. It wasn't what she lost, but Riya would treasure it all the same.

The group headed for the catering table, waving to Jules as they arrived. Apparently she and Julian were having another debate. 

“So you concede, they should divorce!”

“No! Never!” Julian said dramatically. “Marriage is forever!”

“What ship are you guys fighting about now? We were just here for the rice bowls.” Emma said with an eye roll.

“Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester.” Jules told them as she got the rice bowls ready.

“Divorce.” Emma said.

“I read that thing in high school, divorce too.” Sen said

“Divorce as well. He locked his first wife up in the attic and she's made out to be the villain. Gothic novel or not its still vile.”

Jules chuckled. “You've lost the audience vote, Julian.” 

“I'll recover. Hmmm maybe if there's a time travel episode we could sneak in Jane Eyre? I'll have to consult the writers!” 

That made her glance at Mono and her husband all the way down to the writing tables. She smiled upon seeing Alec talking to the writer and pointing to different alien figures on the table. It reminded her of the times she asked him to tell her about his books. ‘Always a delight to see him so animated.’

“Okay, let's just have lunch quick. Brett is already here for the wardrobe fittings and if it all goes well we need to shoot.”

Oh right, she was here for work but then- “Julian, I have a question.”

“Yes, my beautiful actress?”

“About Dr. Sati, given her unknown fate in the main show, how are we bringing her back?”

“I was thinking of having her disastrous crash onto Deimos in the series finale to lead onto her new storyline. The Martian squad on duty finds her and sends her to Mars for treatment. We can use her injures as an excuse to implement your accommodations and I already spoke to Taylor and Danielle about enlarging some of the sets to make sure it's a cozy ride until you recover.”

She nodded. “Thank you for all the work you put into this and I'll be sure to thank the set designers too but I was thinking, can we have Sati remain disabled?

Even if I recover I feel people would feel cheated if the little representation they get is only temporary.”

“Oh! That's a good idea! Remember the backlash DC comics got after Barbara Gordon's character got miraculously healed and stopped being oracle? I don't think we want a part two of that here.” Emma said.

“You're all such nerds.” Sen said.

“Oh hush! I just like comics!” Emma protested.

“No no, Sen the ladies are right. I am all for having good representation on the show, and your suggestions have made the story even better than what I first had in mind.

Besides, this character was written for Ms.Sharma! I trust her judgement to handle the layers and complexities of Dr. Sati Chopra perfectly!”

“I won't let you down!”

This role was dear to her, so was this show and the people who worked in it. Riya knew she was no longer the countess, but she'd remain the stargazer. This time she'd stay true to herself, for better or worse.

It had been a nice time. Speaking with Mono, Zak, and the rest of the writing team. As Baile had suggested, writing had become a fun outlet and even if this was just bouncing off ideas with other people he'd felt more at ease now than he had in quite a while. ‘Alien political intrigue as therapy, it surprisingly works.’

He only lifted his gaze up from the papers when he heard them shout ‘Action!’ and his wife was in front of the camera. 

Riya was a master of slipping into character, even back on the show she fooled everyone into thinking she was only a villainess, and not a secretly sweet woman who shone on every stage she graced.

Even with her space uniform, her new haircut and her make up he could see Riya instead of Sati and basked in the sound of her voice and her talent as she played her character to perfection.

Filming was brief, as today was promo and teaser day. Once the announcements for the spinoff were official they'd begin filming the first season. When her part was done Riya wheeled herself to his side.

“How was it?” Riya asked.

Alec smiled. “You were magnificent!”

He noticed she turned red but smiled brightly. “Thanks! I'm just that good now aren't I?”

“Indeed you are. Mono's made good use of your character. You'll enjoy the scripts we edited.”

“Oh, then I hope they hire you to write for me too! You'll get to see me make your words a reality!”

He certainly wouldn't mind that. “Just having the privilege of seeing you act would make it worthwhile.

The truth is Baile suggested I used writing to cope with my emotions. He mentioned letters as a start but this has been fun too.”

“Was it the ‘write letters to an emotion’ exercise?”

“Yes, how’d you know?”

“My high school counselor recommended we did the exercise whenever we got overwhelmed with schoolwork. So I took her advice and started writing letters to ‘Agony’.” Riya admitted with a laugh. “Guess I was living up to my goth phase then, but it really helped. Even now I find myself doing so when I'm overwhelmed.”

He recalled that last night at the motel and the goodbye letter that she'd left. It was also addressed to Agony before delving into the ‘will’ aspect of it.’

“I noticed it that night at the motel. I thought you were just being poetic.”

She shrugged. “I'm always one for a dramatic exit. Besides Porscha already had a laugh because the title of her favorite album is also ’Dear Agony’ that woman and her perpetually 2000's self.”

He glanced around and didn't see their agent friend, perhaps she was meeting with production before it was time to leave. Alec did however spot the director and some of the backstage crew leaving. Julian waved goodbye to Riya before departing. She waved back.

Alec remained neutral until the man was out of sight. He still wasn't too pleased with the shove that took place a couple of hours ago, nor with the very clear infatuation the director had with his wife.

‘Stay quiet! She needs this role, to her this is all just pretend! Don't mess things up for her more than you already have!’ 

Alec had to remind himself of his place. This was a mere agreement, for their benefit…He should encourage Riya to pursue her own benefit.

“Julian is madly in love with you.” He said.

Riya sighed. “Sadly, I am aware. I really hope he finds a better object of his affections.”

That answer wasn't what he expected. “You're not the least bit interested? I'm aware you were already dating Connor by the end of your season but now that he's not an obstacle you could consider Julian.

He's interested in you, handsome, rich, a film enthusiast. He could make you quite happy.”

“Heh, you really had the pitch laid out.” Riya joked. “I won't say I dont find him charming, and more than a director I consider him a dear friend. But I don't have feelings for the man.

He's too pure for me. The one time we had to do a ‘beach episode’ He nearly fainted…at a one piece bathing suit. I'm not fully vanilla when it comes to intimacy so I know he'd be scared for life.

There's also the matter of his adoration. As nice as it is, I don't like it. Don't get me wrong, I would never go back to someone who thinks so little of me and my dreams that he wishes I give up on them, but I also don't want someone that just nods and agrees with everything I do.

Blind adoration is as bad as damnation for me. I crave devotion, but also defiance. Someone who can match my intensity if need be, even if we oppose. I don't think I'd ever find that with him.”

“I see. A pity for him.”

“But not for you.”

“Pardon?”

His wife took his hand and Alec blushed, her grip was strong but not painful, and he could see fire in her dark brown eyes. “I'm not a fool, Alec. I know what you were trying to do.

I appreciate that you're concerned about me and my future. But I am not the type of woman who gets in a relationship while already being married, much less for just benefits.”

He'd been caught. Alec laughed nervously. “My apologies. I just…I feel like you deserve better than to be stuck with me sometimes.”

Riya said nothing and just kissed his hand, as if he was the maiden in a Victorian romance novel. “Better? You can't improve upon perfection. I already have the best man I could ask for.”

It took all of his self restraint to not kneel down and kiss her deeply. So with teary eyes and a racing heartbeat all he could do was thank her softly.

“Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt but it seems the backstage staff and agents are having a meeting. Porscha said it'd be a while but I can give you a ride if you'd like.” Emma approached them with keys in hand.

“Oh shoot, no wonder she was taking so long.” Riya muttered. “Are you okay with the detour? I don't want to extend your commute.”

“Oh no trouble at all! I have to pass your area either way, shall we?”

Riya looked to him for confirmation and Alec nodded. “Sure, thank you Mrs. Makunouchi. You're a lifesaver.”

“No problem! Always happy to help out my buddies! Besides you can tell me all about your season, I'm dying for the Riyalec edit!”

Riyalec? Oh this would be fun. Even admist his laughter he noticed that Riya hadn't let go of his hand, and he didn't let go either as he wheeled her and they spoke with Emma.

They were beginning to look an awful lot like a real couple.

She waited for everyone to be seated before beginning. Alec and Riya were now on their way home which gave her ample time with the group. Baile and Nemesis had arrived before she could get the show staff here. Zak was already setting up the plans and to her surprise Zombie showed up early.

“Rendered all the recordings already, bro?”

The punk cameraman shrugged. She'd only gone two months without seeing him and he got a lip piercing, another tattoo and and dyed the tip of his mohawk purple.

“I am an expert, big sis. Promos are pretty and polished, plus ya rang.”

“Trust me, its important.”

Zombie, Mono, Julian, Sen, Jules, Baile and Nemesis were all seated at the meeting table. Fabio and Sergei would get the information from her when she went home.

“Why are we having a meeting? Don't tell me Julian already blew the budget!” Sen roared.

“Now when have I ever-” Julian interrupted.

“Jiji didn't blow the budget. This is a non-show related matter.” She announced. 

Jules distributed cupcakes to everyone so they could nibble on the dessert while the meeting was set in motion. 

“As I am sure you already know, Riya was blacklisted from Black Widow's Gambit. Supporting her is what got Emma Makunouchi blacklisted too. Reynold told me other cast members might soon follow suit.

The reason for her blacklist was that Blake Industries or more precisely Connor Blake acquired the studio where the series was shot and so he chose to blacklist her.”

Sen gasped. “Oh, the old man done did it!”

“Ugh, so it was him?! Of course it is! Why am I even asking?!” Zombie groaned.

Julian was already aware of the situation and looked livid. Mono was gripping the table in a rage but trying to remain calm, Nemesis and Baile were also aware and Zak didn't look up from the room photocopier but rather glared at it.

“I suggested sneaking Aqua Tofana into his food and poisoning him but Porscha has shot down that idea.” Jules said giving her side eye as she poured tea onto a paper cup.

Porscha sighed. “Look it's not like I don't want you to do it but righteous justice must be equal to the offense committed and since Scrouge McDuck hasn't committed a murder he must stay alive. Regrettably.

Hell, his own ‘justice’ is what brought us all here today. We are going to fight fire with fire.”

“Hold up, how do we do that? We can't fire the fuck from his own company. He owns it!” Zombie protested. 

“You're correct in that, so no we won't be getting Connor Blake ‘fired’ per se. We will be getting his company to unionize”

“Wait, we can do that?” Sen asked.

“Yup! I have tasks prepared for everyone to make it happen. The truth is I've thought about this for a while now and while I was willing to wait and do it on my own I feel we need to strike as swiftly as possible lest this idiot go around buying studios just to run our girl out of LA.

No one is obligated to participate, but if this injustice makes you mad then this is a chance to help fix It.”

Zak distributed the copies before sitting down. “Zombie, if you're still in the hacking business we'll require your expertise at getting evidence of Blake Industries violating union policy and labor laws. Can you do it?”

“I think so, it'll take a while searching through the gunk but I can get us something admissible in court.” He said.

“Baile, your primary degree is law rather than counseling. If Zombie finds the evidence we need, can you represent the union reps?”

“I'll do it pro bono. Just hit me up when needed.” He said with a smile.

“Excellent. Mono, you'd be in charge on journalism. Before the press gets their fingers on this, the moment that we get the information and a deal is struck your news site gets first coverage. Can you and the rest of the online staff do that?”

“Easy. I'll make a draft and add onto it once we have the deets.” Mono said.

“Sen, you're in charge of protection. Sergei is Riya’s bodyguard and he'll extend that protection to Alec as well. But in case he's not available and you see the media circus coming, try to shield them from it.”

“You got it king, I dealt with a toxic bully in high school, I won't let our best girl suffer the same fate. Count me in for guard duty!” The man said with a salute.

“Perfect. Nemesis, your role shall be support. Even if we pull this off we must make sure Riya does not spiral into depression or cave under the pressure, it's likely that'll be Blake's next goal. Which also brings us to Jules, Porscha will continue to order food for the family, so do expect the orders. Sadly nothing about poison for the time being.”

“You can count on me. I'll make sure to help Riya through this as best as I can. She's a strong lady, in time it'll just be a bad memory.”

“I'd still go with the poison but if all you need is yummy food then count me in. I'll make extra in case there are protests prior to unionization.”

“Much appreciated bud. Which leaves us with Julian, Porscha, and I as the ones in charge of vigilance. The fact that Mr. Blake easily purchased a studio and has funds to do so again means at some point he'll try to buy out our turf.

Now Julian you've been my boss for three years, I know you'd never turn your back on Riya but that doesn't mean the higher ups won't, so be ready to fight.”

“Aye Aye! Same to you beloved minion!”

“Call me minion again and I'll whoop you with a collapsed lung!” Zak said, annoyed.

“Okay ladies, pack it up you're both pretty!” Porscha chided them. “Point is that we all have to be alert. Once we get enough evidence we'll help the Blake Industries employees unionize. If my math isn't too rusty, having to pay every employee properly, investing on OSHA approved property and machinery, and following regulations won't be enough to bankrupt the company but it certainly ensures Mr. Blake here won't be buying any more studios and messing with us.”

Porscha grabbed a cupcake and was about to bite down but noticed Jules looked uncertain. “Hmm? Something wrong, sugar?”

“I was wondering…What happens if after all this he refuses to let the employees unionize?”

Porscha unwrapped her cupcake. “It's a win for us regardless.

Connor is an idiot. He thought he could just pour his endless money at the ‘problem’ and have it fixed but all he's done is get himself in hot water by being so wasteful. And like the boiling frog principle, all we have to do is crank up the heat slowly so he doesn't leap off the pot until it's too late.

Union negotiations have already began and we all know it's likely they'll end in refusal. We'll use this time to collect what we need and make a second argument. If evidence and the threats of court aren't enough for Connor Blake to concede and follow the plans then he'll push for trial where he's going to be utterly demolished by facts that won't disappear by him throwing money at them.

A man wasting time in court rather than giving his employees what they want? A man wasting money on a studio he has no idea how to run only to spite his injured and much younger ex? No Señor Dinero can sugarcoat this.” She said while having a lick of frosting.

“Unlike your desserts, one can't go through life covering every bad thing in sugar and sprinkles. You either face it or it takes you down and it's about time little rich boy got the memo.

Either he lets things get better or he cries red.”

Your sugarcoat
Is just as sweet as I am—

Look what you did!
Suck on your lies 'til your eyes turn red!
What did you say?
Willing to drown in a tidal wave!
Take me away
Let me believe that you're on your way…
Look what you did!
Suck on your lies 'til your eyes turn red!

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: I am the Faith Forsaken!

In the cold, eternal light
I am the ember fading
Every scar we try to hide
I am the fake you made me!

Psycho, let go!
I am the warm embracing
Psycho, faithful!
I am the rupture breaking!

“And so that's where we stand right now. I thought you'd want to know now what you're part of the cast.” Alec said.

He'd invited Napayshni over once the older man texted he was joining the crew of Fractured Galaxy. No doubt that once she woke up, Riya would be happy to see him too.

“That is good to hear. Worry not about Julian, the man is a hopeless romantic but far more dedicated to his work than anything else. Even if he's jealous that you married her, should your writing be good he'll hire you without a second thought.”

“That'd be fun, I'd get to see you act alongside Riya.” Alec said.

“Oh you flatter me. I'm hardly as good as I was in prime…If I'm to be perfectly honest, I believe this'll be my last role.”

That did give him pause. “Really?”

The older man chuckled. “I am almost a hundred years old, Alec. It's about time I retire.”

“Sometimes I forget your age. You certainly look full of life despite it.”

“It's been quite a life, I'll tell you that. I'm happy with the way it's turned out, the family I've built, the people I've met, my long career, I only regret that not as much could be done for my people as I would've wanted. I'll have to pass on that task to my descendants.”

Alec nodded. He wasn’t a Lakota Native nor was he an older man, but the idea of not doing enough for what he believed in did haunt him, especially when he remembered the feeling of the cold firearm against him and the mercifully trembling hands that slowed his demise enough for salvation to be offered.

“Boys morning! The ladies are still sleeping!” Fabio said as he walked in with a smile. Sergei was holding his son, who smiled upon seeing Napayshni. The baby reached for him and was gladly accepted.

“I see how it is. Betray father for grandfather and mama.” Sergei muttered.

“Oh come now, he loves you. He just knows I miss holding little ones. Is that right, Sergio?”

The baby cooed knowingly, and the group all laughed.

“So, what wisdom is our actor buddy imparting?” Fabio asked.

“Oh not much, just chatting about life. But it is good you're both here. I've told my kiddos this plenty of times. I should say it to you all as well.”

The group silently listened as Napayshni looked at them sweetly.

“I have not known you for long, but you all strike me as men who have faced many sorrows. Perhaps they're similar to my own, or perhaps they differ greatly, but regardless, everyone here has faced great hardship.

And if there's any advice I can give you regarding hardship, it is that you never once give an inch, ever. Be it other people, the circumstances, the system, you fight it, and you fight to win. Even the small victories are worth something.” He said while gently holding one of his long white braids. “Something as simple as styling one's hair is enough to bring defiance, am I right?”

“You are. I can't tell you how freeing It felt to finally have that control, to let my curls be wild and long rather tamed to whatever ‘gentleman's cut’ was deemed appropriate. It's probably why I got into styling.” Fabio said with a nostalgic look.

He didn't know what Sergei went through, but the Russian man clung tightly to his son as the baby was returned and played with his father's long white ponytail. “I wasn't allowed to be more than another number for nearly three decades. 

Now that I am free, it's my duty to make sure others get that often overlooked privilege, including my child. It's why I live for myself first and foremost now.”

He smiled at the words. Alec didn't have to ask Napayshni for his story. The man kept his hair long as a way to honor his culture, but after this, he guessed it was also a small rebellion against what he likely endured in his childhood.

As for him, he viewed his hair as an extension of himself, of his expression, and an unbreakable link between him and his late mother. Perhaps it wasn't as much of a rebellion for him, but the idea of ever losing that part of himself again made him ache. 

“I understand what you mean. No matter how small a part of ourselves you must keep true to it lest it hurt you.”

“Precisely my lads. Please, if you're to heed any ‘sage advice' from this old man, let it be this. Never ever compromise yourself for anyone or anything. 

Otherwise, you'll be left hollow and with tears stained cheeks.”

“Recovery is going great! I can already see the bone healing very well. Come January, we'll be able to remove the casts and begin physical therapy.” Dr. Martin said with a smile. 

“That is great news!” Riya beamed. “Don't worry, I'll behave and be good to go in no time!”

“Is it okay for her to act for at least 8 hours a day? Julian made accommodations for the sets, but is that work time ideal, or should we shorten it?” Alec asked, concerned.

The blonde nodded. “Eight hours is a long time, so I suggest testing it out. If our dearest Riya can handle it, then you may continue, but if the strain is too much shorten the time and expand the number of days working. We are doing great progress, and I wouldn't want overextension to set you back. Okay?”

“Yes ma'am!” Riya said.

“I'll go put these on your record. Best of luck with recovery, sweetie. I shall see ya in a month.”

“Thanks again, Dr. Martin.” 

“Anytime.”

Riya laid back down on the pillow for a moment. The healing hadn't been easy, and sometimes the aches returned to haunt her at night, but she was still here and she was still fighting. ‘Two more months, then one month of physical therapy. Almost done.’

“It's so good to hear everything's going well. Remember I am here for you if you need extra help.” Alec said as he held her hand.

“I know. I'm enjoying all the attention. You've been an excellent husband!” She teased sweetly.

“The two of you are worse than Porscha and Sergei,” Fiore muttered as she put her tablet back in her backpack. She climbed into the medical bed with Riya and cuddled her. “I'm happy your injuries are healing.” She said, in a softer tone this time.

“Thanks, sweetie.”

“I'll go get you signed off and we can catch up with Porscha and Sergei at the pediatrician.”

“Please do. I think I'll be taking a long nap after this.” She said,

Alec left the room and Riya sighed. “What about you hon? Any plans?”

“Not today. I think I'm just going to enjoy some rest too…” Fiore said in a hushed voice. “It's strange, I didn't think I'd ever get to be comfortable again. Those two were going to leave me in that boarding school until I turned 18 and was no longer anyone's problem.”

Riya gently pulled her close and ran her fingers through her hair. “You're safe now. I swear you'll never have to go through that again.”

The little girl smiled. “I know. I owe it all to you and Alec. You chose me. Despite it all you chose me! I…am grateful you did. Thank you, Riya.”

“No need to thank me, Fiore. I'd do it a hundred times more if needed. I'm immensely happy to have you here with me.”

They stayed like that, in a soft hug as the sun from the hospital room window shone upon them.

Fiore wished she'd mustered up the courage to call Riya mom.

Meanwhile, Alec made his way to the front desk, surprised by a loud commotion taking place. A couple was arguing with the receptionist and one look at them told him everything he nodded to know.

The man had dark skin, grey hair, and was well dressed. The woman had dark curly hair, wore am adorned old fashioned sari and had the same face as her daughter, only hers had the marks of age upon it.

These were Riya's parents, most likely here to take her home to India as they wished to do before. ‘I can't let that happen!’

There was no time to formulate a plan or make a decision, for his mother-in-law recognized him and quickly rushed towards him.

Living with someone as prone to slapping problems away as Porscha was had benefits because he could catch the older woman's hand as she attempted to strike him. He quickly let her go but remained alert. After two seasons in Tipaskaw he wasn't going to get smacked around again. 

“You! So the tabloids speak the truth and you tricked our daughter into marriage!”

Tricked?! Is that what they were calling it?  He tried to remain calm, but could already see why Riya had been that stressed that night after she spoke on the phone with them.

Soon the older man joined his wife, glaring at him with the same intensity. “Instead of heading home with her family, she chooses to pull a scandal like this.” He said with a thick accent and a shake of his head. “Let's not make this harder than it needs to be, son. Just tell us where she is and we will take it from here.”

“I'm afraid I cannot do that. Riya does not wish to leave, much less receive a visit of this nature.” He said calmly.

“We are Riya's parents. We know what's best for her!” Her mother said. “Besides, we have medical power of attorney to take her home!”

“You may be her parents but I am her husband and as such I now hold medical power of attorney over Riya. I'm abiding by *her* decisions and she's chosen to stay home here in LA.” He said. 

It was clear his authority or even his union with Riya was not going to get any ounce of respect here. He was used to it, for this wasn't the first time in-laws disrespected him.

His father-in-law rolled his eyes, pulling out a checkbook. “How much?”

“Pardon?”

“How much do you want to dissolve this lie of a union? We all know why you really married our daughter.”

Money. He suggested Alec only married her for money. He could feel his blood boiling at the mere implications even if there was a basis to them.

“Is that what you think this is about?! That I married Riya for financial gain?!” He shouted as he felt his pulse rise.

“What else are we to expect from a drunkard who destroyed his previous marriage? You're only here because she's paying you to. 

Our daughter isn't an idiot, she knew she could use you to get what she wanted. And it's not the first time she's done so. We know of the show. We know everything.”

He laughed, it came out darker than intended. Alec had never been good at handling rage, perhaps that is why he'd let the bottle handle it instead. 

“You know nothing of me! Nothing but the version of myself they chose to sell on the show. I'll admit Riya and I had a falling out for a time, and that I am certainly not what you'd expect a woman of your daughter's caliber to marry. 

But under no circumstances will I allow you or anyone else to disrespect her decisions or our relationship!

You think I am with her for money?! No, I don't care for that! I am with this woman because I adore her! She's a delight of a person, she never betrayed me, she cares for me more than I have ever cared for myself, she's an excellent mother, a star fallen from the very skies themselves when you allow her to take center stage and I'd sooner be dead than parted from her!

So think me lesser, think me unworthy, because I probably am but do not dare insinuate I would dare use her or that don't love her!”

They heard shouting in the hall, and Riya did recognize her parent's voices. She gently got back in her chair and she and Fiore went to listen by the door, not opening it just yet.

“What the hell is going on out there?! They couldn't have picked a worse time!”

“Should we let him handle it?” Fiore asked with her ear to the door.

“I'm not sure, my parents can be vicious…” She muttered. 

Fiore held onto her hand, slightly worried as the little one knew exactly what she meant.

Alec's words had done little to dissuade the pair. This time it was his mother-in-law who spoke.

“You seem confident for a man who can't even properly care for himself. I taught my girls to choose good suitors and I know for a fact Riya wouldn't ever choose a man like you.

There are standards, dear and you certainly do not meet a single one. I suggest you take my husband's offer rather than hold my daughter back from being with proper man and returning home.”

They were all startled by the door to Riya's room being slid open with force. 

“Don't you dare insult my husband!” Riya roared.

She glared at her parents, who were surprised to see her looking so different from what they were used to. Her long hair was cut short, she only wore her necklace as jewelry and instead of designer clothes she wore shorts, a big sweater, and flip-flops along with the braces that bandaged her injuries.

Her father looked surprised but her mom was on the verge of tears. Maybe she was seeing her back when she was a kid who got into hijinks for playing rough and being wild. ‘If only it had been just that. This game was far deadlier than climbing trees or playing in the mud.’

“Don't you ever say that about, Alec! This man has done more far more for me than any of those prancing fucks you paraded me around for! Either respect him or get out!”

“You…you're in worse shape than we expected.” Her mother said in a hushed saddened voice.

She crossed her arms. “I am fine. The doctor says I'm healing adequately, and no you can't use the fall against me, I only had a concussion from it according to CT scans.”

Maybe they were taken aback that she wasn't being clingy and begging for affection after her injuries, but with the way this had all gone down, she knew she couldn't count on them to cuddle her as when she was a child. The only child-like treatment she'd be getting was a scolding and disregarded wishes. ‘Guess that one didn't fade with time.’

“I don't care what those scans said, you're clearly mentally unwell if this is the behavior you're engaging in!

Marrying a man you didn't even date properly, ending a good relationship over an inflated ego, and even just returning to that stupid show were all things you wouldn't have done if your mental health wasn't declining!”

She was done. So damn done with this stupid anxiety, the assessments on who she really was, and the dismissal of anything she wanted or said.

“You don't get to talk about my mental health! Not when you all turned your back on me and never once supported my acting career! I had to do everything myself, earn every single cent I had myself and no thanks to you did I finally get lucky! Only when the prestige came pouring in that anyone back in India gave a fuck! So no, you don't get to pick apart my mind when you're one of the reasons I snapped! Even if I am as sick as you say, you can't force me to go with you! I'm 30 years old, and I am a happily married woman! You have no power over me anymore!” She roared.

Everyone seemed taken aback by this rage. Perhaps they only thought her to be this ruthless in game, but as she'd come to find in the past few weeks, the game could bleed into her life even If she wasn't playing. Be it in her newfound family or in deserved ‘justice’.

“Riya, we are trying to look out for you! You're wasting your time with this mess! We told you years ago that this was the way it was going to end but you keep persisting on ruining your life just to chase mirages! Is it going to take more broken bones? More blacklists?! Another season in that stupid show?!” 

She knew that there was some truth in the statement, for chasing her dreams so ardently only led her down roads of pain and things she didn't want to do, along with bruises and injuries, and fractured friendships she knew it was impossible to keep. Still, Riya did what she could and built her fortune on her own. Acting is what she was born to do, to thrive in, and to forever pursue. She'd die trying if that's what it took.

“Honey, we're trying to protect you. You can't expect me to think you're safe with this sorry excuse for a husband!”

Oh, that was it! She could tolerate a lecture on her failures but if she heard one more vile word uttered toward her husband there would be blood on the hospital floor. Familial mercy expired the moment those words left her mother's lips.

She attempted to stand, maybe on impulse or instinct, Alec quickly picked her up before she could fall. Fiore too rushed out of the room shouting ‘mom’ when she thought the woman would fall over. Riya smiled at her child, she retained her anger but wrapped one arm around Alec’s neck and her free hand she offered to Fiore, who took it and held it tightly. She wasn't sure if it was for her own comfort or for Riya’s. ‘It's okay, sweetie.’ She mouthed.

Fiore relaxed but still squeezed her hand lovingly as she stared back at her other set of ‘grandparents’. She'd needed someone to hold her back then, she wouldn't let go of Riya now.

“Don't you dare speak badly about him! I warned you!

Say whatever you want about me, about my career that you've never supported, or my choices, or of whatever happened in the show but you do not insult my husband! 

Alec here has taken care of me despite our former falling out, even though a man of his caliber shouldn't get stuck here listening to you insult him and yet he bears it for my sake and I'm not letting you or anyone else imply anything bad about him! He's not here for money, he's not here for fame, he's here for me and our daughter and that is more familiar loyalty than what you ever cared to give me! 

Now leave me and my family alone or I'm calling security to escort you out!”

There was a heavy silence for a moment. The kind that reflected finality in its heaviness. Then her father spoke and she surprisingly still felt hurt at the words.

“I am disappointed in you.”

Riya wasn't one to not get the last word, nor was she one to let others see her hurt. So she met his eyes that had the same dark gaze as hers, with equal coldness and intensity.

“The feeling is mutual.”

After that, they left. Alec gently placed her back on her chair and Fiore climbed onto her lap. “Are you okay?” The little one asked.

Riya ruffled her hair. “No. But I'll be soon. Let's go home.” She requested.

Alec nodded and wheeled her along to pediatrics so they could get their friends and depart. 

He wasn't sure why, but this fight, these words cut him deeper than they should. The insults towards himself he'd heard a thousand times over, said them to himself, accepted without complaint but to hear Riya be reprimanded and belittled after she sung such praises about her family before. That hurt him more than he'd like to admit.

Alec would spend the rest of the day thinking of how to fix this.

She often used her time to rehearse lines, work, research, or relax, but after her heart was shattered and her morale low, Riya had lunch and went straight to bed for a long soothing nap.

In dreams she was back in her family’s house, listening by the stairs, seven years ago. Eesha was 10, she was 23 and the pair were eavesdropping on her parents talking to her aunt. 

Radha was recently divorced, and their cousin Arjun was about to start medical school. Riya deduced this conversation would be about money. Wasn't it always? In any case, she already expected to hear Suraj would lend her enough for Arjun’s first year of med school. She didn't expect the words that left her father's lips.

“We will pay the full tuition. You don't have to worry, we can cover it. The world needs more doctors.”

All of it. Every last rupee would be paid for by her father. The same father who let her slave away working part-time in retail so she could study acting.

They had the money, they always did! Just not for her, not for this, not for her dreams that no one believed in. If she wanted to be a disappointment she had to suffer for it. Riya didn't know why she ever expected any better.

With a heavy heart, she picked up her sister and left, unable to hear any more without bursting into tears. 

Back in her room Eesha hugged her. “Dad said he wasn't paying for your college, but he's paying for Arjun's?! That's not fair! Is he…Is he gonna do the same to me?”

“No! No, I won't let him!” Riya said. “We are both going to make it big! Dad didn't help but he will help you! Maybe we just need to be more accommodating? Perhaps that'll work!”

Eesha smiled at her with that expressive gaze she hadn't lost with age. “Okay! I'll make sure he does well by me, and by you too! Dad will eat up his words when you get a big role and turn Bollywood on its head!”

She smiled, still wounded by this betrayal but putting on a brave face for Eesha as always. Riya had to stay positive, once she got a big role in Bollywood and her career was kickstarted there'd be nothing to worry about. 

“You and I are gonna shine so bright we will prove everyone wrong!” She told her baby sister.

On that same date two years later she'd be bidding Eesha farewell as she packed a bag and left for LA in the middle of the night just before she was to be ‘introduced’ to the son of her father's hospital chief surgeon. This was her final offer and she knew that the end was either a shackle to a stranger or being the family's disappointment. 

Please, she already knew they considered her as such. If she wanted to thrive she had to be cut from the family tree.

‘I always hoped it wouldn't come to this.’

Riya woke up when her phone rang out with a piano melody of her mother's old lullaby.

She wasn't going to leave any room for doubt this time around. Riya turned on her lamp and picked up the dreaded call. Ready to cut all ties.

“Hello?”

“Your father might be done talking but I am not.”

“Yeah yeah, grandma once said ‘Anjali came out of me babbling and has since never stopped talking’ I thought she exaggerated.”

Riya didn't like being evoking the cruel persona off camera, much less to her mother, but it was either this or being susceptible to the sweet yet firm words of the woman she most loved. She couldn't be swayed.

“How can you be acting like this?! Riya, I'm trying to help you! Do you know how worried we all were when we saw you fall down that cavern?! We called your home as soon as we could and your phone too and you left us waiting! I thought you could've been killed!”

She bit her lip. “I would've picked up the call sooner if I had known you were actually checking up on me and not ready to throw a slew of suitors my way because in your eyes my career was over!”

“I didn't do such a thi-”

“Dad did. He was already willing to set up a marriage when he called. All because I broke it off with Connor whom you two approved of. Face it already, you weren't calling to make sure I was okay or whether or not I'd stay in Hollywood, you just wanted me to be desperate enough to finally say yes to those stupid arrangements!”

“The arrangements are made for you and Eesha's benefit in mind! Riya, we just want someone to take care of you! Art isn't a steady source of income!”

“Oh for fuck's sake, can it with that already! I have been hearing the same fucking speech since I made the mistake of telling you I wanted to be an actress! Every single time, the same shit! ‘Oh honey that is not a viable career! You'll have to study something else or marry rich!’ Not all of us want to marry a doctor and settle for being his little trophy wife, mama!

Do you know how shitty your lack of support feels?! To see you and Papa cheer whenever one of my cousins said they'd go into medicine, or law, or accounting, and Eesha and I got none of that?! I remember every eye roll, every passive-aggressive comment, every cutoff sentence because you found another idiot to parade me for! You gave our cousin money for college while I had to scrape by on scholarships and retail! I almost went into adult films when I knew you wouldn't support me after my move! Fuck, I knew that you were all praying back home that I lost my season, because that meant I had to stick by Connor or go back home and grovel!”

“Riya-”

“Don't you dare deny it! I'm reckless, not stupid! I know you both all too well and I know you have speaker mode on and that he's listening…”

No confirmation nor denial followed, just silence before a sigh. “We were trying to look out for you.”

“By starving me, until I gave up?! Some way you have to look out for someone! All you've done is turn me into a distrustful hyper-independent psycho!

But I don't care anymore. It's clear that the only time my dreams and achievements got any praise was when they were grand. Once they were put at risk again you went back to your old ways.

I pray you do better with Eesha, because you've done fucked up with me. At least she has the decency to try for your sake, I was never as agreeable or as kind, but we both hurt the same. So save the scorn for me, but don't mess her up.

“You wouldn't have ever said this to us before. Is it because of that man?”

She gripped her phone tighter. “You mean my husband?! No, he didn't tell me to say this! He's never spoken ill of any of you! Unlike what awaited me with those arranged marriages or the idiot I dated before, Alec accepts the fact that I make my own choices!

And for the record, I don't appreciate you being cruel to him! He's already dealing with enough to have you acting like you know a single thing about him, his situation, or our relationship! That man is the sole reason I am even speaking to you right now! I am not allowing anybody to hurt him ever again and that includes you!”

“Wait, why would he-”

“Because after I ended up nearly dying and losing the career that I live for I considered ending my life!” She heard a gasp and smirked. Riya didn't regret the reveal, she was safe regardless of what they thought. “Didn't expect that, did you? 

Yeah, this very thing you despise about me is what I was put on this Earth to do and the thought of losing it was enough to break me! I knew that if I called you it'd just be a waste of time so I nearly ended my life after leaving a will and letter. Alec found me before I passed away, he saved my life, and he stayed with me until my crew could arrive! His words and his care for me are the reason you're not staring at an urn of ash! 

This is why I find everything you said to that man in the hospital today reprehensible and if a single insult is uttered in his direction again I am making sure the Sharma name's prestige is eradicated from the map!

I've always known you were both utterly disappointed, not just because you had two daughters which to you is just water out the door but because both of us are of art and not law or science. Which is so very hurtful but also incredibly stupid. My husband and I have a daughter and I couldn't be happier about it. She's precious and smart and I love her to bits. I'd never dare make her feel like I felt when I was a child just because her career choice isn't one I would make! Alec too is caring so well for her that I know Fiore will be certain of her home here, and of the love we have for her. If she's ever in my shoes she'll have me to help her through the storm without judgments. 

I now relieve you of the harrowing duty of caring for me. I am Riya Çelik now, not Riya Sharma. The family I've built here isn't ashamed, even if they had reasons to doubt me or desert me. They've all stayed, they've all fought for me and for my career. These people love me like I never thought I deserved or would ever get. I can't say the same for you!

Save your worries and concerns for the daughter who still believes in them. I don't anymore, I'm done! Don't call me again, if you can't accept me as I am!”

She finished and hung up. Coughing after doing so, for the words that left her were as painful as being choked. She wanted to cry, to rage, to curl into a ball and disappear but all she could do was throw her phone aside and groan in frustration. She knew she had to do it, even if she didn't want to she had to do this or they'd never stop. ‘Why can't they just ever listen?’

Riya didn't realize that Alec stood by the door, likely coming in when she was shouting.

He said nothing as he sat by her side on the bed and gently dried her tears. 

“How long have you been here?” She asked.

“Long enough. There's only one manner in which I want to hear you shouting my name and it's not in a rage.”

The slightly saucy joke got her to laugh. “Oh, so the poet has a wild side. Careful with your words, Mr. Çelik or I might put them to the test.”

“I wouldn't mind it in the slightest.” He said with such a beautiful smile that Riya nearly melted. “Are you okay?”

“I'll survive.” She said softly. “ I love them, and I know they mean well, but I cannot deal with them and their philosophy right now. And I won't tolerate the despicable things they said to you!” 

Alec stared at her lovingly. “I don't want to cause friction between you and your parents. But I deeply appreciate your defense.”

“Of course! You're my husband, you deserve respect!”

Riya laid her head on his shoulder, and as often before he ran his fingers through her hair. Riya purred at the gesture like an elegant cat.

“During my first marriage, I never got my in-laws approval. I used to wonder why at first but it soon became clear it was a matter of class and race. I won't excuse Yul's bullshit, but compared to them, he was a saint. That extended to Daniel when he was born, as he looks more like me than his mother.

Cheryll tried to appease us both, keeping her parents' vitriol out of earshot but making sure I didn't escalate either. It worked for years but…I secretly wished she'd roared at them. Not just for me, but for Danny. I think he knew why his grandparents preferred their other grandkids. It's part of the reason why I didn't want another child, if they looked like me too, those comments wouldn't cease. For so many years I just resigned myself to mistreatment.

This situation is vastly different as I've not spent time with your parents and I know that this isn't personal, they're just concerned about the worst-case scenario and about the fact that even if I want to, I can't provide for you just yet. Regardless, I am honored you'd stand up for me like that. Thank you, Riya.”

She looked at him adoringly, with the moonlight from the window tracing midnight blue onto his skin and making Alec look like a princely being made of moondust. ‘He's always looked even more handsome in the starry sky.’

She placed her forehead against his. “Anytime. I'll always defend you. You've done the same for me.

And for what it's worth, I don't believe a single thing my parents or your former in-laws ever said. You're an amazing, handsome, brilliant man who's stronger than anyone I know and you're a very sweet dad and husband. I'm lucky to have you.”

He smiled with glassy eyes that would turn teary soon. “Thank you.”

“You're most welcome!” 

She did her bedtime routine quickly, already exhausted from the stress of the day. Alec waited for her to finish, staying over as she settled into bed, keeping her company.

“Will you stay until morning?”

“I'll stay forever if that's what you want.”

She wanted to say it. Wanted to tell him ‘I do’ more than just a friendship, an agreement, or a marriage she wanted him to stay by her side forever. 

Was it love? She didn't know, most likely it was. ‘Not yet, I'll tell you when we're not falling apart at the seams.’

With that, she closed her teary eyes and lingered in between sleep and wakefulness. Her eyes felt too heavy to open again, and her voice wouldn't leave her, but she felt Alec running his hands through her hair again, and that soothed her as she listened to him making a call.

“Alec? Is everything okay?” Demir asked in a drowsy voice.

“Yes Dad, sorry to wake you. I just needed to speak with you.” Alec spoke softly, louder than a whisper but hushed.

“Of course. What is it?”

“Riya's parents came here today and…it wasn't a good visit. They are certainly not pleased with us.”

“Whut? What is this about parents being mean to you?” Catherine's drowsy voice echoed and she could hear the woman waking up. “Alec, do I need to fight them?”

He laughed. “No, mom. Trust me I was tempted but I know that despite it all Riya loves them deeply and it's reciprocated. I just wish they hadn't hurt her with those words.”

“I'm afraid we cannot rule over other’s hearts, son. Sometimes people just can't understand why they're wrong. Give them time to come around. But do tell me is it as bad as Cheryll's parents? Because if so I might be having ‘a word’ with them.”

She didn't flinch or gasp, but hearing a man as calm as Demir suddenly turn angry was surprising, to say the least.

“No, no one could be as deplorable as those two. I was not fond of what they said of me but there's truth in it. I'm merely mad at the callousness they showed my wife.”

She kept her smile hidden upon hearing those words, though she wished Alec would think more highly of himself. 

“Oh sweetheart, don't ever let anyone get you down! I'm sure Riya wasn't pleased either.”

Alec chuckled. “She was livid. I hate the stress it puts on her. Even if I rather like her angry self.”

“Çelik men, it's in your blood.” Catherine joked.

“I can't even argue. Cathy was yelling at an AI artist during a conference and I blushed.” Demir admitted. 

“Much appreciated love. But we need to protect our kiddos! Alec, please do tell Riya how much we appreciate her. It was a delight to meet her and she's as much a Çelik as any of us.” Catherine said. “If her parents don't support her then we do!”

Alec smiled. “I believe she knows. Right, darling?”

Riya smiled and her eyes fluttered open. “Can't fool you now, can't I?”

“Your acting is marvelous but I am afraid I've seen underneath your mask too many times.” He told her she rose from his chest and glanced at his cellphone. Demir and Catherine waved at her on the video call.

“Hi sweetie! How are you?”

“Better now that I've heard all of you saying nice things. Thank you.”

“No need to thank us, dear. You're a most delightful addition to our family. I cannot speak of your parents for I do not know them but as for myself I am happy to have such a lovely and talented daughter-in-law.”

“Demi is right. We are happy to have you here in the family. You've taken such good care of our boy, are a delight to be around and I am impressed at how amazing your work is. Let's just say we are both charmed by you and quite joyful that you chose Alec as your husband. I'm certain both of you will properly care for one another just as we have.”

Riya nodded, trying not to cry. “I am happy to be accepted as a Çelik then. It's my honor to join such a loving family.”

The conversation was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Fiore peeked in shyly. “Oh good you're clothed.” She joked. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

The little one was dressed in her purple pajamas and carrying her teddy bear. She looked concerned but also hopeful that maybe her presence was enough to help. 

Riya smiled. “Much better now that you're here. C'mon, say hi to your grandparents!” 

Fiore smiled and climbed on the bed with Alec's help and sat in the middle. Merely seeing her was enough for the Çeliks to be overjoyed and for her to look pleased with the attention.

Despite the harsh words and dreadful day she'd come to an important realization. Riya was now truly a Çelik and she couldn't be happier about it.

Fiore woke up in a loving hug. Alec and Riya were both sleeping soundly and holding onto her. This was the first time she'd ever slept with two parents beside her and holding her. The blanket covered them all, she was warm, gently held as both Riya and Alec were smiling in their sleep. For a moment she thought she was dreaming.

‘I'm safe, I'm loved, it's okay…’ 

Months ago she'd think this was just a dying dream before she jumped off a window and ended it all. Now she was certain that it was her reality, and she couldn't have chosen a better one.

‘Leo and Sabine Ricci, this is your loss. They're my parents now, and I am happier than ever here than I ever was in your ivory tower.’

She wiggled out of that hold with a smile, hoping Alec and Riya would end up hugging each other as she left. ‘Hopeless nerds’ She thought affectionately as she left Riya's room and went downstairs to get breakfast.

Porscha was already cooking while baby Sergio giggled on the carrier she wore.

“I didn't know pumpkin pancakes were so funny!” She joked as she flipped the treats and kissed the top of her son's tiny head.

“Good Morning.”

“Morning, Fiore! Are you hungry? I'm keeping up with today's theme and making pumpkin pancakes.”

“Today? Oh right, it's Halloween! I forgot.”

“You did? This was my favorite night of the year as a kid! I thought you'd be excited to dress up and go trick or treating.”

“It sounds fun, I just never did it…”

Porscha gasped. “We must fix that then! I think I can take you before Samhain.” she said as she turned around and served Fiore her food.

“Thanks. Wait, you celebrate Samhain?”

“Sergei and I are Wiccans! So we do have Samhain celebrations today, but in our case, it just entails rune carvings and some tarot readings.”

She smiled, it was sweet to see the group be so understanding towards each other despite the different religions. Whenever Fabio was meditating in the yard no one interrupted, Porscha was the first one to help Riya kneel and pray at the Kaali altar in the living room, and she knew that today the agent and bodyguard had the day off, likely so they could make preparations for tonight.

“I appreciate it, but maybe I'll ask Riya and Alec to take me. I…want to do a family costume.” She admitted bashfully.

“Then let's get shopping after breakfast!”

Fiore was startled as she saw Riya being wheeled into the dining room By Alec. The pair smiled at her, ready to spoil her with costume shopping.

‘Yes, I could get used to this.’

Once breakfast was had everyone got ready to leave. She noticed Reynold and Fabio were not with the group.

“They're at Reynold's,” Sergei told her.

Oh, yeah that tracked. Buddhists didn't have a holiday today and well whenever those two spent the night together they'd wake up near noon.

‘Another pair of hopeless nerds. Are Porscha And Sergei the only ones here that could confess?’ She'd have to ask them for their story someday.

The group was cautious as they arrived at the mall. Thankfully the frantic shoppers didn't bother them and there were no paparazzi in sight.

So Fiore was free to roam the Halloween Spirit for a costume and to her surprise she and Riya settled on a theme when they both passed the game aisle.

“Team Rocket! Are you cool with being our Meowth?” She asked.

“Happy to! I love that goofy cat…My former parents didn't like me watching the show but I managed to stealthily watch the old 90's episodes and the start of Mewoth's story. He was so relatable that he became my favorite.” Fiore explained as she picked the costume.

Riya gently ruffled her hair. “We'll watch the episodes with you when we get back home. Let's go try on the costumes. I'm sure Alec will be a good James.”

Fiore laughed. “He's dramatic enough, just give him a rose and he'll act perfectly!”

“Not so sure about that. I had to coach him and acting isn't his best discipline.”

Ouch. She'd have to help her father improve those skills to seduce Riya. And speaking of parents there was something she should ask.

“Are you feeling better? After yesterday I mean.” She asked.

“Yes sweetie,” Riya told her. “I'm not happy about the way things turned out but I refuse to beg them to see my side again. If they won't even try then let it be. I won't tolerate any disrespect towards myself, towards Alec or towards you.”

She nodded. Unlike Fiore who held no love for the Ricci's she knew Riya still adored her family. Their photo was upon her nightstand, the sari her grandmother had sown for Riya was in her closet, and she always spoke highly of them despite this all.

The little girl gave her mother a soft hug. “I'm sorry. They'll change their minds soon…And if they don't then you have us.”

Riya smiled sweetly.

“You're all I need.”

“Riya…Is it okay if I keep calling you mom?” She asked nervously, hoping to address her just as she did yesterday. 

“It would be my honor.”

Those words did more for her than she'd like to admit. Fiore let Riya place her upon her lap and get them to the dressing rooms. 

Alec was surprised by the costume. Smiling at it nostalgically. “Mama used to think James was hilarious. I'll have to live up to the hype.”

“You don't have to wear it if it makes you sad.” She quickly said. 

“On the contrary. I'm looking forward to it. Can't let my little princess down.”

Fiore nearly cried, but managed to keep her composure as they headed for the different stalls and got in costumes.

“Ohhh, I look hot. I'm gonna wear it all day!” Riya said leaving her stall and hogging the mirror. It should've made her mad but Fiore smiled, seeing glimpses of the old Riya before that horrid fall.

The actress turned and her eyes turned big and sparkly as she saw Fiore.  “You look adorable! It suits you so well!”

“Thank you.”

Alec came out of his changing room in full costume and with his hair down.

“Oh wow, he does look like James,” Fiore said. 

Alec laughed. “Thanks, and you do look like a hyper-intelligent Pokemon.”

“I am hyper-intelligent!” Fiore affirmed. “What do you think, mom?”

“The costume looks great on him. I say you should wear it all day too.”

Not an ounce of shame in her voice as she said it. Fiore just glanced at a flustered Alec and laughed. ‘I'm beginning to think that the fake family thing is just an excuse.’

As silly as it was, they'd keep the costumes, much to Porscha’s delight. The agent and her husband weren't wearing costumes but put baby Sergio in a cute pumpkin onesie.

“Ohhh I am going to take a picture! Smile everyone, this one's for the socials!”

It became easier to smile, more so when she was given a loving hug by her parents who'd honored the bit and remained dressed up with her.

‘Maybe I'm getting a little spoiled...Well, it was about time!’

“It suits you so well, I am jealous! Baile and I are going to dress up as Scully and Muller from the X-files.”

Riya chuckled, she chose to take her therapy ‘tea time’ during early noon, so as not to interrupt trick-or-treating time. Nemesis was more than happy to join her as she had the day off. The woman adored the costume

“The best couple in all of sci-fi if you ask me. What's Rosalin going to be dressed as?”

“She's going to be a little grey martian. She's so excited!” Nemesis said with a laugh. "We can take them together tonight! Rosalin is your girl's biggest fan!"

“Hehe I'm sure Fiore would like that. Baile didn't watch it with ya?”

“Nah he's into reality shows but I've told him how much I loved seeing all of you and he knows Rosalin likes to watch the challenges. Though I did cover her eyes during um…those scenes.”

“Good call.” Riya said with a laugh.

It was nice to have therapy this way, just talking about everything in an informal manner, as if it was nothing medical at all, just two friends laughing together.

“It's a little hard to raise a tiny human who loves to imitate you, but so rewarding. Rosalin is not into mortuary science but she likes playing with the taxidermied critters I used for decor. Makes me so proud even if it's such a small thing. I'm sure it's the same with you and Fiore.”

“Somewhat. She likes to act, and sometimes play the villain like in the show, but underneath it all she's a very sweet girl. I love her very much even if we've only had two months together. She called me mom for the first time and I almost melted.”

The joy was abundant but swiftly washed away by the memory of that hospital hall and what she'd been told. ‘I knew it was coming! It's fine but then why does it still hurt?’

“Honey stop, you did nothing wrong. Sometimes parents are the ones that need the time out.” Nemesis told her.

“You're right, it's just frustrating! I can't thank my in-laws enough for the support though. Makes the blow feel lessened.”

“Lucked out with the cute nerdy husband and the nice set of in-laws” Nemesis told her before reaching for cake slice. “Oh, seems we ran out of lava cake.” 

“Sorry about that, Fiore and I have taken too much of a liking for it,” Riya said with a laugh. “I can order some more from Jules soon.”

“Not to worry dear, the tea is more than enough. Besides I think our dear Jules has other orders to tend to. We can have other treats.”

Riya nodded. “True, I do feel I'll need sweetness to soften the blow. There's something I didn't mention last time.”

Nemesis took a sip of tea and placed the cup down. “Yes, I do apologize for the abrupt end last time but feel free to tell me now.”

It wasn't something she wanted to admit. Not when she was already fearing this revelation would drive away yet another friend.

“It's about the finale. I know Connor played a huge part in my downfall, no doubt he's proud of that, but at the end of it all I was the one who made the final choice.”

“What do you mean?”

The scene came to her in glimpses, the cave, the barbed wire she jumped, and Yul’s voice as they both gathered every glittery stone they came across in that restricted area. 

“There, we each have ten. Let's go!”

She lingered for a moment glancing at the cave and at the fence. Yul noticed her lingering.

“Riya, let's leave!”

“...What if we got the scorpions to cause chaos? It would guarantee our victory!”

He was surprised by her suggestion but also considered it. “It's too risky we shou-”

The words died in his mouth as the sound of the giant arachnids approached and sent them running to their untimely end in the competition. 

“I considered having the scorpions chase away the others. I was going to free the scorpions and let Jake and Ally take my fate...” She confessed.

Nemesis's eyes widened, shimmering like rubies. “I see.”

“If I hadn't considered then I wouldn't have lingered in the scorpion's den and maybe none of this would've happened. The more I think about it the stupider it becomes!

Nemesis, I almost let them take the fall for me! Jake, James, Ally, fuck even Fiore! I don't know if I could ever forgive myself if anything happened to my sweet girl because of me! A fall like that injured an adult but it could kill a kid!” Riya had to bite her lip before she started crying again, she was growing sick of tears.

“It wasn't Connor’s bullshit, or my fight with Alec, or Fiore giving me the disadvantage, not even Yul was the culprit of this fate, it was me! I was the one who chose to linger! I was the one who sealed my fate!

I can blame everyone else all I want, but the truth remains that the final choice was mine and I almost hurt a lot of people with it! I'm glad the only one messed up by it was me…If anything had happened to the others then it would be a fitting end for Alec to not have found me on ti-”

Her words were stopped by a protective hold. Nemesis took her in her arms and hugged her tightly. “No world is better off without you in it. Riya, you're not a monster for this, nor unforgivable, nor even liable!”

“How can I not be?! If the scorpions hadn't arrived and given chase then I might’ve done it. I am awful! I am as bad as everyone says I am!”

“No, you're not! Riya, you were having a mental breakdown! Anyone going through one of those would do the same thing!”

“Was I? I pre-meditated it, I thought it would work I just don't know if would've gone through with it if I had the chance. Maybe Yul would've talked me out of it, or I came to realize it was too much, or just something! I'm scared of that part of myself, who considered it a good idea to cause such a tragedy.” She admitted.

Nemesis released her gently and lifted her chin, so Riya would look at her. “We all have moments where our intrusive thoughts almost win and let pain take over. Moments where our mind is on autopilot and does not consider the consequences, the hurt, or anything other than what we want. But we are not defined by those moments.”

The woman lifted her bangs and Riya gasped, underneath the wavy red hair and upon her forehead there was an old scar. She had no idea what happened but it looked deep.

“This happened long ago when I was in my teen years and my schizophrenia was not as manageable as when I was a child. Things were complicated, I spiraled, and my family tried hard to help me and eventually had to put me in a facility temporarily until my condition could be managed.

I smashed my face into a mirror during a psychotic break. There was glass everywhere, stuck in my face, on the floor, I was barefoot and stepped on some shards too. I was lucky to not lose an eye afterward…”

“I'm so sorry, that must've been painful.”

“It was. Despite my fathers and sibling's reassurance I felt like I was being a burden, that they had to deal with this problem that wasn't even theirs to begin with, that maybe my biological family was right to give me up when they knew what awaited them because of every condition I have. I had so many attempts dear, more than I like to think about, it is why I saw some of myself in your wrists when you showed them to me last time. I've spilled that crimson too, and for the longest time I thought I deserved to. That I was waste of life and a devious woman whose existence was to cause pain and hardship.”

Those feelings were familiar, for after that fall they kept haunting her, even if she had the best support system a woman could ask for. Hearing Nemesis voice the same thing despite their vastly different situations made her feel seen.

“How'd you get over that?”

“I didn't. Every once in a while it catches up to me again and I have to turn into a blanket burrito. As irrational as It is, I can't help it.

But when It happens, I have to remind myself that it's just my mind playing tricks on me, that I've done what I can to atone for my worst actions and that some of them were not the result of malice but illness, that as long as I try every day to be a better person then I am doing what I must and malice will not take hold of me.”

Nemesis took her hands in hers. “I won't justify the things you did, or claim that thinking of carrying out that plan wouldn't have been wrong. But I refuse to call you a monster for intrusive thoughts you had during a breakdown and ultimately did not carry out.

My madness is one of medical condition, yours was situational Riya, and all you've shown to me, to the world, and the rest of your circle after you got out of that Camp has been nothing but positive. 

You've sought out treatment for yourself which is the first step, you've repaired your relationships with Alec and Fiore and perhaps other contestants, you can continue to do that now without the prying eyes of the cameras, you can make apologies and changes should you choose so. Sweetheart if there's life then there's time, losing your life won't change your story for the better. It'll only end it tragically.”

She smiled a little. Alec was the first to say something similar to her and believe in her strength when she was at the edge, her friends had all done the same, and even now, Nemesis who she considered a new friend was seeing good in her, even if Riya sometimes doubted it was there.

“You made your choice, you're dealing with its consequences, some are fitting some are not but no matter what you must fight and you must survive. It's an uphill battle, but you're not alone. We will help you.”

“Thank you,” Riya whispered.

“Anytime sweetie. Now, let me help you dry those tears. We have daughters to dress up and have fun with today!”

Yes, she still had duties, which she regarded with adoration. Things might look dire but maybe with the adorable family she'd built, Riya could face the ugly parts of her reflection.

They heard the front door open and Fabio arrived, the blonde man passed by the living room and handed her an envelope. “Sorry for the interruption ladies but Riya has mail, or more like returned mail.”

“Hmm? What do you mean?” Riya asked.

“Apparently you sent something and it was stamped return to sender,” Fabio told her. 

She looked at the letter, it was the apology she'd mailed to Lake and Rosa a month ago, rejected and unopened.

Riya sighed. “I don't think I'll ever be able to stop facing the uglier parts of myself…”

Those parts were not going away anytime soon, even if she changed. Perhaps she'd find a better use for it in time. For now, however, the mask of villainy was inescapable, along with the consequences it brought her.

Into the bottom I will go
I feel the daylight choking
Into the vile I've become
I am forever changing!

Chapter Text

Chapter 12: I know that I will suffer in the end

It's hopeless, the end will come and wash it all away...
Forsaken, I live for those I lost along the way
And I can't remember how it all began to break
We suffer, I live to fight and die another day!

“Slow down! You're gonna trip!” Alec called out.

A little grey martian and a meowth giggled loudly. Fiore and Rosalin were enjoying the trick-or-treating route Nemesis had planned out for them.

The redhead laughed. “Let em play, Alec. They're still close by.”

“I worry.” He said.

“They'll be fine. Route is almost over.” Riya said as he gently pushed her chair.

“You're right. I just don't want them to get hurt.”

Alec didn't want to repeat the same mistakes of the past, when Daniel stepped on glass or Fiore ended up crashing and getting burnt after the first season's finale. Thought his bad track record didn't just extend to his kids, Riya was proof of that. ‘I shouldn't have been so bitter and just tried to help you win…’

She seemed to have noticed his distress as Alec felt her gently hold his hand. “It's fine.” She said softly.

It's fine. Everyone said so. It was fine and he was the only one who couldn't accept it. Not until he didn't see blood everywhere upon closing his eyes. 

“Mom! You have a fan!” Fiore called out. Motioning for Riya to join her at a doorstep.

“Be right back!” Riya said and wheeled herself away.

For a moment he almost reached out to keep holding her. Alec pulled back when he saw Nemesis noticed but the redhead said nothing and looked at her phone. “Baile, Porscha and Sergei are done with Samhain celebrations. They'll meet us at the park when we end the route!”

“Good to hear. Everything went well?”

“Yup! Maybe next year I'll go with them. I'm not a Wiccan but I've always loved Halloween and Samhain festivities. The idea that for at least one day the dead can come and visit us, it's lovely. Though it's also why I took the day off work.”

He chuckled. If he was a mortician he'd probably take the day off too. Magic and spirits wasn't something he believed in, but with a glance at his wife and daughter smiling and enjoying their silly night in their costumes, he could bring himself to wish that Helena was around witnessing the event. 

‘There they are. Your daughter-in-law and granddaughter. They would've loved going trick-or-treating with you.’

“Nemesis, as a mortician you've probably given some thought of where we go when we die. If so, what's your theory?”

“Hmmm, well it's nothing too complex but…I've always believed I'd go wherever Baile goes. Vows often say till death do us part but to me not even non-existence could tear us away from eachother. Know what I mean?”

A romantic sentiment, one which he wholeheartedly comprehended upon seeing the girls running back to them, and locking eyes with the beautiful dark gaze that he would forever yearn for, even before they were together.

“I do.” He said, never straying his eyes from her.

Fiore smiled from her bed as she saw Alec setting up the gaming PC she'd requested. While she was having a blast with Riya's old consoles, Fiore needed a newer one that could allow her to communicate and play with others online and it just so happened that her mom was more than happy to get her that gift. She'd certainly cemented her place as the princess of the household. 

Alec looked so different from the man she'd first met two years ago. He was still as tall and carried himself with elegance, but his weight had diminished greatly, he dressed far more casual and it was only now that his eyes didn't look tired and his hair wasn't falling off. The scars of what took place during those two years were far more visible upon him that they were on her.

She'd apologized for her role in that defeat and he'd forgiven her, but Fiore still felt guilty as she looked at her father.

“Alright, that should do it.” He said as he stood up with the now working set up being turned on and perfectly functional.

“Thanks! I'm looking forward to playing.”

“No problem. Just don't stay at it for 10 hours. I had to drag Daniel away from Starcraft when it first came out.”

Fiore giggled but he noticed the sadness in her eyes. 

“Fiore, is something wrong?”

“I wanna ask you something.”

“What is it?” Alec said, kneeling down to her level.

“I started calling Riya ‘mom’. She's okay with it and I wanted to know…Would it be okay if I called you dad?” She asked.

Alec was stunned. For a moment, Fiore thought he'd refuse. The man had already done more than enough for her! He’d endured her betrayal, he protected her last season and had walked onto this masquerade to protect her and gain custody. She should be grateful! He didn't have to agree to this or choose her-

“I'd love that!” Alec said, with teary eyes and a broken voice. “I-Is it really okay? I mean you know well I am not the best father. I don't want to disappoint you.”

She smiled, with teary eyes and a trembling voice. “You have never disappointed me, dad.” Fiore said as she jumped into his arms for a hug.

Alec held her tightly. ‘No wonder we get along so well, we are just a pair of scared messed up fools…No matter, it won't always be like this.’

“Awww did I come in at a bad time?” Riya asked from the doorway.

The pair laughed. “Not at all! Actually, I wanted you both to play with me if you're not busy.”

“Never too busy for you.”

Those were words she'd waited a lifetime to hear.

“Everyone welcome back everyone to Ally Way's Alleyway! I'm your host, Alexia Dana Way and tonight we'll be getting the exclusive scoop on one of Disventure Camp's hottest couples!”

Alec took a deep breath as he and Riya were being styled by Fabio.

“Deep breaths, hon. You'll be okay. Just go out there, speak eloquently, and this'll all be over. The paparazzi will fuck off if they don't have anything to juice. Just one interview and it's done.” The blonde said as he brushed Alec's hair and put it up in his characteristic ponytail.

With Riya the man just applied some blush and let her radiate beauty naturally. Unlike Alec who avoided cameras, Riya chased them and used her charisma to look even better under the spotlight.

Alec detested the mere idea of being on television again, but he'd do it all if it meant keeping the family safe and getting the nosy press away from him.

“Come on out, Riya and Alec Çelik!” Alexia called out for them.

“Showtime!” Riya said as he grabbed the handles to her chair and wheeled her out. Riya smirked, waved to those in the public who cheered and ignored those who booed. 

Alec focused on the road ahead, indifferent to the audience. There was a reason he only ever worked on scripts in school plays and never took center stage, for the eyes of strangers upon him always sent shivers down his spine.

‘It'll be over soon.’ He reminded himself.

He made sure Riya was properly seated and comfortable before he settled down. If everything they did as of now would be scrutinized he had to make sure the family and their ‘love' was blatantly noticeable.

“Welcome you two! Riya, it's great to see you again!”

“It's good to be back, Ally! Love the new hairstyle!” Riya said sweetly.

The brunette hostess giggled. “Why thank you! Your new style looks stunning as well.” She then turned towards Alec, with sparkly eyes and a sweet smile. “Alec so happy to have you here as well, nice to meet ya!”

“Nice to meet you too, Miss Way.”

“I'm so glad to have you both here in such an eventful time. Congrats on the wedding! Tell me everything! How'd you two find your way back to each other?”

How indeed. The truth of that night was only known to a select few and he wouldn't dare share it with the world for the sake of peace. So he held onto Riya's hand as she was the one to begin their ‘tale.’

“As you know I was medically disqualified from the season finale of Disventure Camp All-Stars. My mental and emotional state during that time was quite fragile and I thought no one would come to my aid…” Riya began. He was impressed with how calmly she recounted the event, being honest yet avoiding the gory tragic truth.

“Then Alec reached out to me. He gave me sincere advice, encouragement, he cared for me and that…that made me realize how I took him for granted, and how much I missed the man who made this harrowing season all the more bearable.” She said glancing at him, dark brown upon emerald hazel, and for a second he questioned whether or not she was acting or not. “I knew then that we belonged together, that I didn't want us to part from each other's side. And Alec has reaffirmed that belief since our reconciliation. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't met him.”

She'd told him this a few times already, he knew it well, and yet hearing her say so without hesitation for the masses to hear was still heart racing, or maybe he just couldn't get enough of her adoration. 

“Aw! That's very sweet! Alec, what about you? Was it a similar journey?”

“Somewhat. I was not in a good place even before the game and I came in laser-focused on getting the win, didn't think there'd be more to the game than that until I got close to Riya.

We weren't friends at the start, our relationship was purely strategic but with time that changed and I got to know how magnificent Riya truly is and how much joy she brought to my life. The game was certainly easier to navigate by her side. Even when we temporarily fell apart, she was always on my mind.” 

He paused for a moment, unlike Riya he wasn't a gifted actor. The line between truth and script was blurry, and difficult to navigate without giving too much for the vultures to pick apart.

“Eventually I faced my own faults, mistakes, and my defeat. Once I was voted out and could process this season's events clearly, I realized that despite everything that happened, there was a piece of my heart that would always belong to Riya. 

The finale…confirmed it. I've never been more scared that when I saw her vanish into the dark and the cameras cut. Once we were off camera and able to speak privately I was able to make my true feelings and intentions clear. Riya thankfully returned my affections and we chose to bring our beloved daughter home with us as we started this new chapter of our lives together.

The moon does not shine without the light of the sun. And so I wouldn't be so far along in my healing and progress without this ray of sunshine shining down upon me.” He finished.

Alec took Riya's hand and kissed it, causing his wife to blush bright red and chuckle.

“Seems like your poetic nature shines through when you speak of your wife, that is lovely.” Alexia beamed. “But I must ask, isn't it a bit too soon for you both to get married? You've only just reconciled.”

He wasn't sure what to say, Riya glanced at him as if to say ‘I got this.’

“I know it will seem sudden to many, and perhaps in other circumstances we would have waited but…” Riya paused, looking at him lovingly. “There are some choices you just don't question. I've never been more certain of anything in my life.”

Riya meant it, but she could see the uncertainty in her husband's eyes. ‘Why do you doubt I could value you so much?’ She wondered, but kept the musings hidden under her mask.

“More certain than anything? That's quite a claim, Riya.” Alexia said. “Would you say you're more certain of this than your career or stage choices?”

Alec was the one who flinched but he made sure it went unnoticed. ‘She's not being cruel, these are standard interview questions, don't make things worse!’

He felt Riya squeezing his hand as she spoke. “Oh Ally, of that I was sure since I have memory! Everything regarding acting has been etched into my bones. 

Alec is etched into my heart.”

He kept his composure, but perhaps his gaze could not lie. Eyes, heart, and soul, all seemed to overflow with the desire to tell her right then and there that he loved her. 

But it was not the time, and thankfully, Riya’s sweetness got them the public and host's approval. “How romantic! Well, I am certainly happy for you both! However there are some people who are less than happy with the ‘Riyalec’ coupling so to speak.

Alec, you were once good friends with Riya's former partner, Connor. It is well known he didn't take this union well. What are your thoughts on this matter?”

He took a moment to consider. Cursing out Connor for what he'd done was tempting but it wouldn't help their image. He would be as honest as possible, even if he felt it was undeserved. 

“I genuinely appreciated Connor and the friendship we had. I'm aware I was a bad friend and that I probably didn't deserve his forgiveness when I wasn't clear with my motives and feelings twice over. I regret being unable to figure things out sooner and perhaps avoiding all the heartache and complications that my indecisiveness brought.

However I make no apologies for choosing Riya and much less for marrying her. I could never regret that. And I take great offense with the fact that Connor chose to make his displeasure known by interfering with her career.”

“For my part, I have no apologies to make. I was clear with my motives from the beginning and I think Connor is both wise and old enough to understand what he's told, lest my English be so bad he didn't catch it.

I don't regret playing my way, it's what I wanted and what I said I'd do. That it didn't work, that I paid the consequences, and that many hate me for it? Yes, I am aware, but what's done is done and I'm standing by my decisions.

The apologies I've yet to make shall be given in time, but I have no apologies for him. This man is to be left in my past, even if he insists upon being brought to my present. I don't regret our reconciliation, our marriage and our daughter. That is all from my part.”

Alexia nodded. “I see. Wise words from you both though I feel the Blake Industries CEO won't be too happy with them.”

“Good!” Alec and Riya said in unison which caused them to laugh.

The audience and host got a good laugh from it too.

“Alright then, Riyalec in synch, we love to see it! One more question from me and then we'll move on to the audience. You two have adopted another contestant from the show, Fiore Ricci. Though now I should address her as Fiore Çelik. How has parenthood been treating you both? Is family life what you expected?”

There was no need for acting regarding this question. A bright smile took over Riya’s face, washing away the bitter taste of the last question. “Fiore is our little princess! I love her so much, and I am so happy to have her as a daughter! Parenthood was certainly a surprise but a very welcome one. It's been only two months but her addition to the family has brought us both so much joy! 

At first I was worried, I didn't think I was mother material, but Fiore put those doubts to rest. I can't imagine life without her anymore! Family life has been even better than I could've expected.”

He smiled recalling the adorable child he'd grown attached to during the game, regretting their first fallout and finally the reconciliation that led him to do what he should've done two years ago.

“I made a lot of mistakes before, both in my first marriage and as a parent, and I'm working towards fixing that now. So, I was also hesitant to become a father towards a child who deserved much better than the mess I was. Thankfully time and healing have helped and I can be certain that I'll provide Fiore with the proper care and love she needs.

It was an unexpected change but a very welcome one. I hope to be a good parent, because she is a good daughter. I love her and she deserves the world.”

Alexia put her hands on her chest. “That was lovely. It's nice to hear you're all growing used to this new normal and enjoying your new family life. Alright then, that's enough from me. We have some audience questions! Those of you who paid to ask questions get ready with your mics and please keep this respectful. We'll begin audience questioning after the commercial break, here in Allyway’s Alleyway!”

The cameras were off for the moment, but not the audience, he could see smiling faces eager to speak with them, but some of them had venom. He was familiar with those glares he'd had a fair share of them two years when he was too drunk to even question them. But now he knew and he'd have to be ready to face them.

‘I have to. It's for them. For her. I have to face it…’

“You two are doing great. Were the questions okay? I sat down with Porscha to make sure they were adequate.” Alexia told them softly.

“No complaints on my end. No worries Ally, we know you're doing your job.” Riya said.

She had no complaints from the nice host. Alexia had been the first to interview her when she gained stardom and Riya wasn't about to let her down.

“I am fine as well. Worry not Miss Way, we are content with the interview so far.”

“Cool! If it helps, I think you're both doing great, we just need to wrap it up after audience questions.”

He nodded, Riya too seemed ready to handle this. The easy part was over but now they were subject to judgement and unlike like last time where he took the easy way out and allowed his doubts and resignation to consume him, Alec wouldn't stand down this time. 

3…2…1…and they were back on air.

Riya knew how to stay composed on cue. Pretty eyes, a dazzling smile and a relax posture would have anyone thinking she was fully prepared. In truth, however, the actress was bracing herself for scrutiny.

“Welcome back to Allyway’s Alleyway everyone! We are currently interviewing the lovely Riya and Alec Çelik! The newlyweds will now be answering the audience's questions.

Once the spotlight falls upon you stand up and ask your questions, you'll have 30 minutes viewers, use the time wisely.” Alexia warned.

The first person to ask questions was someone in the back, an older woman. “I loved seeing you both on the show, you were awesome! Will we be seeing you in other reality shows?”

Alec answered first this time, sure of his answer. “I personally have no interest in appearing in any reality show again, but I appreciate your support.”

“I don't think I'll return to reality TV either, while I appreciate it finally allowed me to be discovered and begin my career the genre itself isn't something I want to focus on. Plus as you all can see the physical aspect of it can be quite taxing, but I appreciate the support and love. Thank you for watching!”

The answer was seemingly satisfactory so the woman nodded and sat back down, the spotlight this time changed to a man in the audience. “Do you feel like your injuries were karma for what you did in your season?”

Alec frowned and he could see Alexia get ready to stand and veto the question, but Riya gently raised her hand in her direction.

“Not at all. I left my intentions clear from the start, I did what I said I would and carry both the rewards and consequences of my actions. 

Injuries and disabilities are not to be considered ‘punishments’. These are real situations many people deal with on the regular and I'd appreciate it if the matter was addressed with respect.

My karma, if any it's being unforgiven by those I hurt. And said karma I can accept I am deserving of.”

She was calm, unaggressive but firm and it was enough to dissuade further questioning. Riya already felt her heartbeat increase and her anxiety rise. ‘No, calm down. You've done this before, and it's worked! So calm down!’

The next person to ask a question addressed it to Alec. “Mr. Çelik, given your problems with alcohol and your new stay in rehab do you feel like that will doom this marriage as it doomed your first? Or did your previous marriage fall apart for other reasons?”

He couldn't hide the utter disgust he had at the question. Nobody would dare talk to a stranger like this on the street, but it was acceptable to be vile to him because he was a ‘celebrity’?! Fucking double standard made him livid.

Only Riya's grip upon his hand kept him calm. Again, Alexia glanced at him as if to ask if she should veto the question. He shook his head.

‘You've dealt with worse. Endure it. Endure this for their sake, it's the least you could do.’

He took a breath and answered. “I don't think anything will be ‘dooming’ this marriage, as you say. 

My previous marriage is a matter I don't wish to discuss out of respect to my ex-wife and son, but I can tell you that my alcoholism wasn't a factor In its failure. I only fell into this addiction after the divorce.

As for my current marriage, I am immensely happy, Riya and I have great communication and we have learned from our past to do better as partners and as people. 

So no, I feel quite secure in my marriage.”

Oh the delight he felt upon seeing the disappointment on those who wanted him miserable! No wonder Porscha often said the best revenge was to live deliciously with a wink to your enemies.

This time a younger woman stood up. She glared at Riya. The actress braced herself. “Don't you have any shame for being an utter bitch?!”

“Hey! That language isn't allowed in my show! If you don't want security to escort you out then behave!” The host yelled as she stood up and glared at the audience member

“Ally it's fine. Go on then, ma'am, ask me anything. You've already paid for the right after all. Let's hear it and I'll speak whatever truths you crave!”

She was terrified of it, of the hate comments that made her cry when she first started, of the things she hid deep down until it was time to pour her heart out to Nemesis, of the people who'd never forget her mistakes and wouldn't ever let her forget them.

But Riya Çelik only showed her fear to those who didn't use it against her. So she grinned and stared down the woman who would try to tear her down and subtly scanned the audience. Those who cheered and smiled at her were to be regarded with love, the ones who hated her, would be silenced soon.

“As I was saying, aren't you ashamed of the things you did?! You hurt so many people on the show, even your own stupid husband! How are we supposed to trust you'll take good care of a kid?! You should be in jail!”

She rolled her eyes. “You know what? No, I am not ashamed of telling people who I am! I've been clear about from the start! That I've made mistakes, yes that's true and I won't pretend some of them don't haunt me but that is my burden to bear and my responsibility to deal with! 

You do not trust me to care for a child? Well, I am doing so and very well I might add! Jail? Honey unless you're a lawyer you can spare me! We all signed a contract, and we all knew there were no rules, you can play judge all you want but I did what I had to and was allowed to!”

She'd responded and thought there'd be a break as the annoyed fan sat down. Another person stood also glaring daggers. No time to rest, this knife was to be stabbed upon her too. Fine! 

“You're currently working on a children's movie while setting a terrible example! Shouldn't you be mindful of your image?!”

Image? She knew her fucking image! She was a villain! That's what these very people asked for the second they granted her what she'd begged for! And what now they couldn't handle her?! Fuck, they were just as indecisive as her ex, and why were the lights suddenly too bright?!

“My work in this project has been up to quality. All I do is provide my voice acting for an animated character, this doesn't mean I am to become a paragon or children's role model. If you're making me, a celebrity, educate your children then that's a parenting problem, not an image problem.”

Harsh but effective, the audience was hushed voices and whispers. Faces began to blur for her, then lights felt brighter and the sounds that were menial were now deafening. ‘Why? I’m used to it by now! Why is it the same way as when I started?!’ She thought. 

Anxiety was a thing of the past, she'd made it big, she was at the top and getting back up after that dive, so then why?!

“They should fire her from that too! Black Widow's Gambit made the right choice In getting rid of her!”

“No! That show isn't good without her! You're all just being assholes! Why even come here if you hate her?!” Another person interjected. 

“What do you care?! She'll probably break your ribs and laugh!”

A screaming match, joy, just like the family reunions back in India when she dared to open her mouth and say she wanted to act, over a ‘lucrative’ career or a rich husband. The questioning was louder than understanding but amidst the insults and yelling she could hear people defending her, just like her beloved late grandmother did whenever the noise turned to static and she blurred everyone else away.

Alec held onto Riya's hand tightly. Alexia called for security and signaled for the hecklers to be escorted out. He chose to remain silent for the time being.

He'd seen comments under posts and knew part of the cast of the show didn't like Riya, but Porscha and Reynold oftentimes handled that so well it was gone in the blink of an eye. This was the first time he'd seen both the fandom and the hatedom collide, he had the instinct to run but knew that would just be seen as cowardly.

The situation should've been calm with the people instigating being dragged out, but one last statement echoed on the studio walls and sucked the air out of his lungs.

“Both of them would be better off dead!”

He saw red. More so when a small gasp left his wife and she clung to him. The same soft yet needy grip she had when they were at the planetarium, that seemed to say it all without any words spoken. ‘You’re the only one holding me together’

Alec would do so, for if she couldn't use her voice in fear of proving the people right, then he'd speak in her stead. ‘I've run from conflict for far too long.’

Her husband didn't fake his disgust as he abruptly stood up smacking the wooden table with enough force to dent it.

“How dare you?! All of you! The mere fact that you thought it acceptable to voice those words! You should be ashamed!”

Deafening silence took over the vicinity. He should've been terrified of the many eyes upon him, of the fact that he wasn't sure if the cameras were recording his defiance. But fear, decorum, and rationality all took a backseat when it came to defending Riya and himself.

“None of you know what it was like for us in that camp! I'm certain that those of you think we exaggerated or are worthy of death for our actions would ever last a day in our situation! Oh but you have no problem judging our entire existence based on snippets from a show?! I'm not going to take advice on morality from scum such as yourself!

Riya played the part expected of her, perfectly! She was a fantastic villainess and provided you all with the drama and entertainment you craved, yet despite that you all wanted her end to be tragic after you had your fun with her antics! If she was such a delicate matter, why didn't you turn off the TV or change the channel? Oh right because you're all perfectly comfortable judging real people as if we were dancing puppets for your amusement!

The only ones allowed to question or judge us are the people who were on that show with us! And of that group the great majority have done us the mercy of ignoring our existence once everything ended! 

Neither of us are saints, and I'll be the first to say I don't blame people for being angry, but there's a difference between that and spending money on hurling the vilest insults at a pair of strangers because you're too immersed in a TV feud!”

He felt Alexia place a hand upon his shoulder. “It's okay, let me handle it. Take Riya and rest. You both need this.” She said softly enough for only him to hear.

The rage remained, but it would always be second to the need to protect her. So Alec walked away, his eyes still simmering with rage and his stance like that of a hunting beast ready to pounce upon pray.

That all faded away when Riya grasped his hand as he led her off stage. “Breathe, darling, breathe.” She said, hoping to soothe him.

The second they were off camera Porscha got near and led them to a dressing room. “Cool down here. There's food and water on the mini fridge. Serg is helping with security, I'll go do damage control with Ally. Stay here. Okay?

I'll bring you anything you need later.”

“It's fine hon, we'll be okay.” Riya said.

Porscha left the room, worriedly glancing their way as she slowly closed the door. Alec couldn't bring himself to look at Riya not when he was still breathing hard and sweating.

“Alec.” She called out, wheeling herself to where he stood and tentatively reaching for his hand.

He couldn't face her nor hold her, because despite them being responsible for their own successes and failures a part of him still felt like if he hadn't foolishly turned against her before the finale, maybe she'd be secure in her standing and able to smite her enemies with just a glare as she'd done before.

Maybe he wouldn't have found her breathless, cold, and nearly gone…

“I failed you again, I'm sorry.” Alec said as he tried to calm himself. 

“What? No, you could never fail me! Alec…Alec please just look at me.” She pleaded as she grabbed his hand.

He held onto her hand, the feel of her soft skin was enough to entice him and he gave in all too quickly. Alec sat down on the sofa beside her, and Riya pulled herself to his side.

“You needed me to keep my composure and I lost it out there. The things they asked and said, it was vile! How?! How can you endure it?! I don't have such strength in me, it's why I often let the bottle tame my rage.”

“I couldn't bear it too well at first either, but with time it all became background noise. Trust me it's been a year of it and I've heard it all, good and bad, measured and exaggerated. It's easy to navigate if you're used it and rewards exceed the critiques. Though I'll admit today I was off balance and anxious, maybe its because of the uncertainty.

Nevermind that! If anything I'm just livid that they dragged you into this. I'm so sorry, it was my biggest concern when we made those marriage plans.”

“Fuck, Riya stop! Be angry about yourself, not me! You've given your all to make those people happy! You were willing to sacrifice it all to be their beloved villainess and this is how they repay you?! I doubted why you were stressed or catty at the start of the game, but now I get it! Having to keep the mask on just to live out your dream sounds exhausting. I'm sorry I didn't understand it then, and that I've not been of much help now.”

She chuckled. Alec being angry was such a rare occurrence, and while she preferred to spare him pain she did like his handsome face when he frowned. “Silly hypocritical man. You're telling me to be angry for my own sake? What about you? You deserve a rageful defender too! 

The audience has horrible callous people who think of us more than toys than actual human beings, but the good ones, those who cheer and say you've inspired them make it all very worth it. It's why I didn't give up…

You don't have to say sorry. I was quite a bitch during the game, I don't blame you for getting sick of me or my mask, Alec. I don't blame you for anything. I'm just mad that there was a time I almost lost you because of my foolishness.” She confessed.

Alec placed his hand upon her cheek. “I'd be the foolish one if I dared walk away from you, Riya.”

She kissed his hand and leaned into the warm touch. “You've done more for me than I can ever voice, even if I had your skills and could write a thousand verses. Don't even doubt the astronomical amount of importance you carry for me, for this career, for this family, and for this wounded heart. 

I sometimes lie awake, not thinking of my near demise, or the blood or bitter taste of poison and wine, but rather of you. Of whatever caused a man so brilliant and beautiful to slip down into the abyss so cold and painful he was nearly lost to the world.

I think of the tragedy of never meeting you, and we remained parallel lines which never crossed and one was cut short. I think of how utterly miserable the game would've been without you, of how much I failed you, of how much I…I value you. You're the moon that shone upon my darkest night. Please don't ever let your moonlight grow dark.”

He pulled her close by the waist. “You had me fooled, darling. I thought I was the only one with a way with words.

Of my darkest days I refuse to speak of often, but one day I'll tell you every detail. Not out of sadism, but for you to know the horrific end you saved me from.” Alec said he looked at her intensity, memorizing every detail of her face. 

“I'd given up when my name was called out and the man I once considered my friend sealed my fate. But you, you chose to breathe new life into this carcass of a man, and have since cared for me with more love than I deserve. Riya, don't ever let them bring you down, you are sunlight incarnate and losing you would be losing all that's light and good in this world.”

She smiled, placing a hand upon his face and moving away a lock of hair. “We're such a disaster, aren't we?”

“A beautiful disaster, my dear.”

Yeah, she could accept that. In the soft stillness and tender moment she felt the urge to kiss him. Not for the cameras, nor for selfish plans, she just…wanted him. She always did.

Alec too leaned in ready to press his lips against her and let his body speak the words he couldn't bring himself to voice.

“Riya! We need to talk!” 

The moment was interrupted by the door loudly being shut open. The pair were startled and Alec hugged Riya close. She too held onto him and looked back to face the unmistakable screeching voice of an old ally.

“Yul?!”

“Whoa, I know you're newlyweds but I didn't think you'd try to fuck in the dressing room!” Yul said upon seeing them.

“And this is why we knock before coming in, Mr. Kim.” Porscha said. “Do I leave the toddler with you or not?” She asked.

Riya laughed. “I can talk.”

“Fine then, I'll go talk business with Stheno. Don't get smacked, Yul!”

“Ugh, yeah yeah, go tell my manager I'll be there later. They're running me into the ground you know.”

“It's either that or no work, Temu BTS boy.” Porscha said with a laugh as she walked away. Both Alec and Riya chuckled at the joke.

“I'll go see if the mess outside has been dealt with.” Alec said as he stood and kissed her on the forehead. “Don't get in a fight!” He warned Yul.

The dancer glared at him. “I've done nothing yet! Not my fault you couldn't get freaky just wait until you're home!”

Again she laughed, more so when she saw a faint blush upon Alec's face as he left. Yul closed the door, this time taking a moment to look at her more intensely.

“It's…Good to see you're doing better.” He said.

“Thanks. You too, no remnants of the barbecue facial.”

“Ugh, luckily! I am never getting surgery again, that was hellish. Did the doctors tell you when you'd walk again?”

“By December I should be able to lose the braces permanently but January will be spent in physical therapy. By February I should be walking again.”

“Good, I was concerned.”

Yul was still as loud and haughty as always but something seemed different about the pop star. He looked fuller, dressed in a fancy Prada sweater and designer jeans rather than the crop tops his previous manager made him wear. He also looked nervous, as if he wanted to speak to her but was terrified of her reaction. 

‘Was the bad blood between us that bad?’ She wondered.

Riya patted the space beside her on the sofa. “How are things? From the looks of it you seem to have a new manager.”

“Yeah, they're actually quite nice. I can finally eat what I want and dress how I like. Serves to have one of your number fans manage you.”

She smiled. “That it does. Reynold and Porscha are the best! So does this mean you're gonna go on tour soon?"

“No, not really. I'm not dancing anymore. I'm a choreographer now.”

That explained the style change, and perhaps the subtle weight gain and less polished appearance. “I see. Are you happy?”

“Honestly…Yeah, I think so. For now, I am happy.”

“Then I am happy for you. I hope you get to enjoy this new career path.” Riya said sincerely. 

“Thank you.” Yul said with a smile.

She took a breath. “As good as it is to see you and catch up, I feel like you're not here just for that.”

“You're smarter than I gave you credit for.” He teased. “Yeah I…I needed to speak with you. About the finale.”

“I figured. 

Listen, I'm really sorry for dragging you along with me to that cavern. I really thought we had the win secured and that if we took the others down we'd be set for gold. Instead I put us in a dangerous situation, and if a single thing had gone slightly different then you might've suffered my fate. I am sorry.”

“What? No- I- Riya I'm not here because I want you to apologize. I should be the one to apologize.”

“What?! Why?” She shouted. “Y-you helped me! You reached for me instead of saving yourself! You were the only one who didn't pretend I was invisible after that fall!”

“Maybe, but I also the one who didn't do enough. We were already fucked over with the stupid squeaker disadvantage, and I…watched the episode again. I was so unhelpful I wonder how we even got three gems before passing onto the restricted area! If you hadn't suggested that then we wouldn't have even gotten enough to make the play for first!

If it hadn't been for those stupid scorpions we could've won! But no thanks to me. I basically acted like another disadvantage. Because if Fiore or James had been the ones backing you then maybe you could've won…Wait I take it back, James would've sabotaged.”

She smiled and took his hand. “I know we've had our fair share of fights, and believe me if you start acting up I'll fight you crawling, but I don't blame you for what happened to me.

Yes, you could've done more but we weren't friends and the percentage you would've gotten if I won wasn't exactly worth extensive injuries. I was the one who thought of the idiotic idea to get in the scorpion's den, and despite that not only did you follow but you stayed with me when the creatures cornered us, and you tried to save me.

I don't remember it all Yul, but I remember you calling out my name with genuine worry. That counts a lot more than you think.

There's no anger on my part, but if you need to hear this, then I will say so. I forgive you.”

The man hugged her, a genuine hug that she felt secure in. Never in a million years did she think she'd welcome the dancer's embrace.

“Thank you.” He said, in a softer voice, one devoid of the high pitch and pomp that sometimes made it so grating to deal with him.

For a moment she was back in the medical tent, she blinked a few times and stared at the ceiling. Everything was blurry, and her hearing was messed up.

A sharp pain on the back of her head made her hiss, as in her weakened state she couldn't even speak or move. Her legs were in casts and held up by medical pulleys, the mud and grime had been wiped away and she could make out nearby medical beds, empty save for one.

“Y-Yul?” She managed to mutter in the direction of that blur that resembled her helper.

“Don't talk, we're out. We're…safe.” Was all he could say. The man wouldn't look at her. “Marcus will speak to you when you can wake up.”

But she was awake. Awake and in so much pain. Her legs, her head, her back, even her nails hurt. ‘What happened? I broke something, I know I did! I can't move! What happened?! Help!’

Her frantic thoughts consumed her as she struggled to speak or keep her eyes open. Riya wanted to rise but didn't have any energy. Yul, however, stood up and got out of the tent in a huff. 

“You! Keep the hell away before I fucking kill you!”

Who was he talking to? She couldn't quite hear. It was two people, one argued back,  and one was downcast. But Yul was yelling and enraged.

She blacked out until Marcus returned and told her of the fractures. That made her dissociate again, and she numbly nodded along to whatever he said.

“I can take ya to see the final at the coliseum.”

“Okay…” She responded. 

Even Nina was silent as the man got her a place in the audience. It was so quiet one could hear a pin drop, as Marcus set her chair down on the Team Ally bench.

“I'll be nearby, holler if you need me or Nina.”

Riya nodded. “Thank you.”

She didn't want to look at anyone, and mercifully they didn't seem to be looking at her, but rather at the arena. She'd later come to know her beloved husband had looked her way like a kicked kitten, and that Grett too had looked her way at times. The only one who she'd seen was Connor, smirking at her from the Team Jake benches. 

‘Hilarious isn't it? That you won this way…Well, smirk all you want. I'm not letting you savor it for much longer.’ She thought as her mind began to race and put her affairs in order. ‘What hurts less, the noose, the pistol, the knife, or the poison?’

Thoughts of the end halted as she felt someone entangling their pinky with hers. It was a silent soft gesture, courtesy of the man sitting beside her. Yul was silent and didn't look her way, but that little gesture it kept her from falling apart in front of everyone.

So Riya gently squeezed back. Silent too, but evoking her gratitude through the gesture and hoping that for all that went down between them the man changed his ways and found hope and redemption in time. She wouldn't be here to see it, or so she thought. 

“Thank you too, for keeping me from crumbling.” She said.

Yul let her go gently. “Sure. Don't mention it.”

“Say, can I ask you something?” She asked.

“What?”

“When we were in the medical tent, who did you yell at? I passed out soon after but I'm curious.”

Yul chuckled. “Your ex and your husband.”

“Really?”

The dancer laughed at her confusion. “Oh you really missed some drama!” He said before he proceeded to relay the conversation to her.

Yul was tired. The gigantic scorpions had pinned him to the ground and he had cried out for Riya as he couldn't reach her in time due to the arachnid’s leg nearly sinking into his back. After hearing the crack and scream, he tried to break free. Rolling away and making feeble attempts at crawling away. Thankfully Marcus and Nina came to the rescue and shot the creatures with blanks until they fled.

“Marucs, Riya fell! She fell off the cliff…I couldn't-” He passed out mid sentence.

He woke up again in the medbay with his bruises bandaged. He was in one piece with just a few scrapes from the encounter. But Riya? She'd broken both her legs on impact and had a concussion along with some other nasty bruises.

He'd attempted to let her rest when she was struggling to wake up. ‘Let an actual doctor deliver the news…’ He thought. 

But amidst him trying to wrap his head around the nearly mortal challenge his eyes fell upon Alec and Connor.

No, not now. Not when she was on the verge like Minho once was too. He wasn't letting anyone else die because of a vindictive ex.

“You! Keep the hell away before I fucking kill you!” He roared as he stood up and walked towards the men.

“Calm down Yul, we just wanna know how she is doing.” Connor said.

“Bullshit! You think I don't know of your little plan with the gremlin?! You're the reason we nearly turned into scorpion shit!” Yul yelled. “You wanted her to lose, she did, fuck off!” 

He then turned toward Alec. Unlike Connor who'd made his desire for Riya to lose common knowledge, Alec had been more indifferent to the matter. Encouraging Fiore to win for her sake but not trying to get an idol for himself. 

“And you, you said you were on our side! You stayed loyal to me but not to your girlfriend?! Now that's cold, you fuckin nerd!”

“What?! Riya isn't-”

Connor got between them both. “Your little alliance is over, Yul. I don't know why you of all people would expect loyalty! We're not here to fight you! So calm down.”

Alliance. It was clear that this was all it was and he knew it. He'd known it since the start of this stupid game, he'd even known that if they'd all made final 6 he would've been first out unless he could keep Grett loyal and perhaps gather allies. 

Yul wasn't any good at that, the only people he'd been truly loyal to had perished years ago. He was the first cut of the VA after the merge, and only because the damn dinosaurs of his former team ratted Ellie and Fiore out. If not, he probably would've left before them.

“I don't expect your loyalty geezer! Not when you claim to be oh so good and loving yet been dreaming of this moment.” Yul muttered. “I expected loyalty from the know-it-all who said her name in his sleep like a prayer.”

Alec’s eyes widened and he didn't have a response. ‘What? Is being the geezer’s second in command in a precarious position? Can he not know you adored that woman?’

“Stop being a prick Yul! We just wanna check on Riya.”

“Don't lie to a liar, gramps. You'll never fool me. I know you're here to flaunt your ‘victory’ it's the only achievement you got to your name.

You want an update so bad? Fine! She's alive that's all I'll tell you, and if you try to get into that tent and make things worse I'll do more than just break bones!” 

He then stomped away and the pair didn't follow. Yul only left to watch the final match, surprised that before it started Marcus brought Riya out to witness the finale too.

She was silent, sunken, with the same hollow eyes Minho had before he'd given him a hug, climbed to the ceiling unnoticed and left nothing but his shoes and a note after taking flight. 

He wasn't thinking rationality but rather emotionally and just reached out to her like he'd done for the others back in his youth. A pinkie promise, juvenile and dumb, but reciprocated. Riya reached too. 

At the end of it all, the only ones left by their sides were their enemies. James had reached for him back at the motel, despite once plunging a knife upon his back. Riya held his hand as they ran away, pushing him from the scorpions pincer during the melee…Ironic wasn't it? Those who should hate him most cared a little.

He too couldn't once stand her, her snobby self and bitchy attitude as if she was some sort of goddess among men they should all be grateful to endure, but one glance at her now and he would've been happy to go back to that rainy tent where they were soaked to the bone and bitching at each other while Riya pulled his hair.

“That was all that happened. I don't know if he was genuinely concerned, if he wanted to gloat or if the others sent him, but I was mad that after all his stupid speeches, and whining and pleading for you to lose he suddenly had the shriveled old balls to fake concern for you.”

Riya nodded. “That's a surprise…I didn't think anyone visited us.”

“They did. Connor to ‘ask’ and Alec to be his
minion. At least that's what I thought back then.

Fucking nerd over here looked concerned, genuinely concerned over you, but I was so livid and angry at them both I thought it was fake.

Didn't realize he was just in denial until the geezer said he was leaving with you, and then a month later I saw the wedding photos.”

She laughed. “You could say we came to a lot of important realizations before leaving Canada. 

As for the ‘betrayal’ and such, we've discussed it. I hold no ill will. You know how bad I was. Alec is remorseful too and he didn't intend for things to go south or ever laughed at my misery. That goes a long way.”

“Good, you've got him whipped. I was concerned about that too, but if you're happy and making out in dressing rooms then I guess it's fine. Take it from me, I'm an expert on bad relationships.”

“About that…Yul you should apologize to Grett.”

He rolled his eyes so far back they went white and he groaned.”Not you too! James told me the same shit! How the fuck are you two of all people agreeing?!”

Riya rolled her eyes. “Because we're right!

I'm not saying you have to beg and grovel but simply admit that you were unfair to her by using her and treating her badly in the relationship you had. And no, I don't care if it was pretend, you were still awful to a woman who told me repeatedly that she loved you, it may not entitle her to anything, but you sure as hell could've been kinder even if it was all a show.”

He closed his eyes. “It's a little too late for that. Gretchen would literally rather barbecue me than hear me utter a single word.”

“And you wonder why that is?”

“Why can't I be like you? You're unapologetic, you're facing it all head on and winning. That's easier, that's better than pleading!”

“I won't be pleading to the people who don't know me, who I didn't hurt or who pushed me to the brink only to then expect my groveling.

But I did apologize to Alec. He's since accepted. I apologized to Grett, she accepted it too, and so did Fiore. I apologized to you, and you’ve accepted it. Rosa and Lake were also given my apologies but one didn't forgive me and the other returned my letter still sealed.”

“Didn't think Calliou and Teen Mama could hold grudges.” Yul said. Riya flicked him on the forehead. “Ow! I thought you'd be mad at them!”

“I'm not. They don't have to forgive me, but I did my duty by apologizing. I'd do it again if Aiden and James walked through that door now. 

And I feel you should do so with Grett. Even if she does not forgive you, if she yells, if she tells you to shove that letter somewhere else then…you'd at least done your duty.”

He sighed. “I hate it when you're right. Ugh…I'll get to writing later. I'm not risking another facial.”

“That's good. I'm very proud of you!

I know we often butted heads and that you're a pain in my ass as much as I am one on yours, but I'd like to see you thrive now that we're free of the game. You were the only one to reach out to me back then, even a little. And perhaps you think James and I are being preachy or nagging you but…We see good in you Yul. I think Alec does too. Despite it all we care.”

Yul smiled at her. “That I can believe. You two were closer with Grett and as a game move it would've been safer to vote with her but you chose me instead. I know you thought there was a chance she'd keep me, but Alec isn't a man of chance, and neither are you.

It means a lot that you didn't betray me. I can return the favor now.”

“Then go forth, you wannabe dancer.”

“Yes, yes, and you go show your insufferable nerd some new positions!”

“Can't do that until I'm out of the chair!” She joked, smacking him with a cushion.

Perhaps today had not been a total nightmare after all if only for this moment.

Alec was beginning to get dizzy. The angry outburst had given him a splitting migraine and all the halls of the studio began to look the same.

Eventually he came across Alexia. The woman waved and smiled at him. “Oh thank goodness I found you! Are you okay? Is Riya okay?”

“We're both fine. She's talking to an old friend. I was looking for you. Everything okay?”

The woman gave a thumbs up. “Peachy! Got those asses banned and even refunded them so they won't go trying to make claims. 

I am really sorry about this, truly. Porscha told me you wanted to give an interview and I've rarely had the audience get so rowdy before so I thought it'd be helpful to do audience questions too. That was certainly a miscalculation.”

He shook his head. “Think nothing of it, you've been an excellent host to us both. I should be the one to apologize. I was the one who lost my temper and escalated the situation. You were already handling things.”

“Not well enough. I'm all for peaceful discussion but these people crossed many lines when addressing you and Riya. I'll start vetoing questions before I allow fan Q&A again. 

A discussion or even loaded questions are allowed, but suicide baiting? Absolutely not! My deepest apologies to you and Riya I can't imagine how harsh they've been to you off camera.”

He sighed. “It's mostly just been paparazzi. I don't use social media and Riya's agents handle everything to perfection. Whatever they say of us can be ignored, I'm well aware we were amoral in our gameplay and at times in our personal lives. But there are things I won't tolerate regardless.”

“Good on you for that. I find it admirable that you'd defend Riya above all, not many husbands can claim such devotion.

Know that you have my full support in the media and perhaps once things cool down I'd love to have you both back on the show.”

He smiled. “I'll have to ask Riya if she's up for it, but I'd like to return for a proper visit in time.”

“Yo nerd! Someone’s missing you!” Yul called out in his usual haughty tone.

Alec rolled his eyes and turned to look at him. The dancer was wheeling Riya toward him and Ally. He smiled but suddenly felt another dizzy spell take over.

“Alec? Are you alright?” Alexia asked. Her voice was faint, and the room spun, turning pitch black.

“Alec!”

The last thing he heard was Riya's voice and the last thing he saw her worried face, as darkness took him.

Fast I fade away
It's almost over!
Hold on...
Slow I suffocate
I'm cold and broken!
Alone...

Chapter Text

Chapter 13: I could lose it all, but I cannot recall

Cold am I?
I'm beside myself
Because there's no one else
Have I grown
So blind?
Only god could save you
If you knew your way to the light
So fly away
And leave it behind!
Just stay awake
There's nowhere to hide!

Riya had been hyperventilating since they arrived at the hospital. Porscha gently tried to soothe her and Sergei paced around in the waiting room.

They eventually saw Dr. Martin approach. “The good news is he's stable. No injuries since he was caught before hitting his head, and the CT scans don't show any tumors, which is very good. However that makes diagnosis a bit trickier. I'd like to keep him overnight if able, so machinery might get a better read and if we can observe any other symptoms. Also I might need to speak with him when he wakes up.”

Riya finally calmed down upon hearing that. “Okay…Can I stay with him?”

“Of course. I'll show you to his room in a bit, just need to deliver news to the other families, be back in a minute.”

Porscha sighed. “He had a fucking migraine a month ago and told me it was because of a nightmare. I should've poked around a bit more…”

“No, flower, it's okay. Alec would rather pull his teeth out than open up about his burdens. I'm just worried it could be something serious.”

“We’re here! I had to pick up our princess but we're here!” Fabio said as he rushed in carrying Fiore.

“Mom!” She called out as she ran toward Riya and hugged her. “How is he?”

“He's okay but staying overnight. I'll stay with him.” Riya told her.

“Then I'm staying too! Fabio packed my things as well!”

“Okay!”

Yul came to join the group along with Reynold and Sergei, everyone was brought up to speed with the situation.

“We'll handle press. No one knows of this as Ally snuck you all out and they were focusing on the talk show situation.”  Reynold informed her. “You two rest easy.”

She'd almost forgotten about that. If anyone dared so much as glance in her husband's direction after today Riya might find the strength to stand up just to tear them to shreds.

“We'll have house ready for tomorrow.” Sergei said.

“I have a flight to catch. Need to be in New York for a few weeks, but I'll keep this quiet. Text me when the nerds awake.” Yul said.

“I will. Thank you, and take care.”

“You too.”

She never thought she'd gently hug Yul, or that they could spend five minutes in a room without fighting or trading insults. Still as of late, life had a way of proving her wrong for both better or worse.

As Dr. Martin approached, Riya and Fiore got ready to follow.

‘Be there soon, Alec.’

“You're going to get eye bags if you stay up late.” Fabio said.

Truthfully he wasn't too sleepy either, not after the mess that was today. Porscha and Sergei returned to the mansion and from what he'd seen both agents had kept the media under control. 

As expected many disliked Riya and Alec, and criticized their responses. However to everyone's surprise the debacle had done more to raise the Çelik's family's favor than a simple calm interview. Even people who disliked him agreed with Alec for standing up for the family, it made their marriage feel all the more believable and plenty of co-stars and former employees had swarmed various posts to sing the group praises.

‘If Porscha was doing readings for today we might've gotten the wheel of fortune.’ He mused. Fabio poured two glasses of pomegranate juice and headed for the living room.

Even in his own home Reynold had the habit of dragging work with him. He was still making sure the posts were perfect, made responses, booked actor’s schedules and even planned out next week's schedule before putting his cellphone down and focusing on the TV.

“I've only now finished. Everything Is handled…I'm also worried for Alec.”

“If Delilah said he's stable, he's stable. Gotta trust the doc. I'm worried too but that won't heal him. My guess is it's some backed up withdrawal only now surfacing.”

“Do you think he's drinking in secret?” Reynold asked, taking a sip of the juice.

“Nah. He has no access to alcohol, his account isn't emptied out, the house is free of booze, and the one time he went for the cooking wine I dunked it out, plus Porscha didn't get any more afterward. We're in the clear.”

“Well whatever it is, I hope he is well. We're not particularly close but appreciate the nice quiet man.”

“He's really nice to spend time with. I'm happy he's good to Riya. They need to get a clue.”

The irony wasn't lost on him. For he and Reynold had been in the same situation for months as well. The only difference was that this wouldn't end in a wedding, regrettably.

He loved him. Absolutely loved him since he first laid eyes on him and more the second time when he and Riya came to his rescue. But he wasn't what Reynold wanted, this man was a top of the world, composed, elegant and impeccable. What could he want with a former whore who let every day carry him away like the tide at sea?

“Fabio?”

“Hmmm? Sorry, I spaced out. What did you say?”

“Do you want food? I can cook you something. I know today’s been taxing.” Reynold said softly. 

Fabio nearly fainted from the cute smile and sweet tone. Every night spent with this man made it all the more difficult to keep his true feelings secret. ‘It's just hook-up's nothing more. You out of all people can't hope for more!’

“I'm fine. Though I'd love to see you with your jacket off and sleeves rolled up.”

“Still obsessed with the daddy look? C'mon I'm only 40.” 

“True, but it looks so nice on you, especially with the graying hair and glasses.”

“Hmmm, does that make me a hot nerd?” He joked.

Fabio raised an eyebrow. “Still jealous? My my, I didn't think you'd be so possessive.”

“I'm not. But I want to keep a place in your heart.”

A place, as if he didn't already have a home there, as if he didn't inhabit every crevice of his hollow heart, as if Fabio didn't already love him more than anything from the first glance exchanged.

“You live in it, forever.”

Reynold scooted over to him but in doing so he sat on the remote.

“Oh crud! I should've turned it off!” He said, getting the device which was now rapidly switching through channels.

Fabio froze as to his bad luck, the TV even passed the adult channels and he could catch a glimpse of himself during those in which he was grappling with survival, dreams, and paranoia.

He quickly glanced at Reynold who's face went red as he scrambled to turn off the television.

“You can let it play, I don't mind. I remember this one was with a competent set.” He joked.

Still that wouldn't dissuade him, as Reynold turned off the TV and quickly checked on him. “I'm sorry.”

For what? He wasn't ashamed, he didn't need to be treated as if he was made of glass, he wasn't going to deny what he'd done. And yet he leaned into Reynold's touch as the agent gently caressed his face. 

“Stop apologizing. It wasn't that bad, I had fun. But,” Fabio pinned Reynold down on the sofa. “I have much more fun with you.”

The man chuckled. “I do as well, but are you sure? Wouldn't you prefer I just hold you?”

No, too sweet. Too intimate. He'd crave it, and then at the end of it all when Reynold found someone else worthy to take his heart perhaps the goodbye wouldn't hurt too much. 

‘He's an older, wiser, impeccable man who built everything he has from nothing, and was once married to someone of his caliber. You're just a former harlot who got lucky and remains tainted. For his sake, let him go.’

It was the same song and dance every time. 'One last night, one last frenzy, and then I can call it off.' But no, he couldn't bring himself to, even if he knew Reynold deserved better. 

His kiss was passionate and hungry, but as they parted and he looked down at his beloved he could see dark blue eyes studying him.

“That kiss tasted like tears…Here, let me take you up.”

In his past he'd taken down ruthless killers and rival mafiosos but right now he let Reynold carry him upstairs.

“B-but I am supposed to de-stress you!”

“I'll feel better if we both take a nice warm bath and sleep soundly. Perhaps in the morning I'll devour you, but for now let me pamper you.”

Always with that world, so sickening sweet that he could almost bring himself to believe it. ‘Yeah…maybe I just want to keep lying to myself that I'm worthy of this.’

“Alright, but I still want to wash your hair!”

“I leave my hair and the rest of myself in your beautiful and capable hands.” Reynold said.

‘Oh honey, that's such a horrible decision. You'll come to your senses in time. Everyone always does.’

White walls, a bed, a small closet for uniforms and a work desk. His room at boarding school wasn't very big but it was functional, private, and above all, it gave him solace.

Alec couldn't stop crying as his small hands were seemingly glued to the sides of his head.They took it all. Every single strand and lock that Helena brushed with so much love was now gone.

‘School rules’ dictated boys couldn't have long hair and so it had to be cut. He would've been fine with a few inches but this?! This was practically leaving him bald and smooth like a cueball. Perhaps others didn't care as much but he'd already lost his beloved mother, he didn't need to lose every strand that bound him to her too.

The small boy eventually didn't have the energy to cry anymore. He composed himself and headed for his desk, trying to find solace in words before succumbing to despair. ‘I miss father…’

With a pencil in hand he began to write, copying an exercise the school councilor recommended when she spoke to him and learned of his situation

‘Whatever emotion you're feeling, write a letter to it! Even if it's just venting. It'll make you feel better.’

Well, it wouldn't hurt to try. He couldn't hurt anymore even if he wanted to.

Dear Agony:

Why do you follow me? What have I done to deserve this? What did my family ever do to deserve this?! 

My father is a good man, he loves me, he loves mama. He's broken down because of this. I don't know when I'll see him again. I miss him very much.

Mama never raised her voice, she was nice and sweet to everyone, she just wanted to play her instruments and give me hugs, she didn't deserve to die so young.  She'd been fine for such a long time…

And me? Was it me? Was I the one who brought you into our home? I was a good son, right? I do my homework, and I'm polite, I read my books and I am obedient! I…I couldn't do anything to protect mama! Is that why?! It's the only mistake I can think of.

The last few sentences were furiously scribbled and tore up the paper. Alec was already crying again, tears of rage rather than sadness and this time he just wept facedown on his desk until he passed out, unable to reconcile his cruel fate.

He gasped and woke up in a dark hospital room. Right, he wasn't 8 anymore. He was 33, he'd grown out his hair again and currently had a few machines hooked to him. ‘I look like a lab rat. These must be for neurological diagnosis…’

He glanced to his side and saw Fiore, curled up beside him like a happy cat and they were both covered by a fluffy blanket. Alec smiled at her, happy to see his daughter sleeping soundly. He then turned to his other side and held back a scream.

For a moment he was taken back to the motel where found Riya sitting down on her wheelchair, with bloody wrists and her long curls covering her face as she nearly expired. But no they weren't there. Riya was beside his bed, smiling in her sleep, with her curls cut short and unmarred wrists and lips. 

Alec reached out for her, gently placing his hand on her cheek.

“Moonlight?” She asked drowsyly.

“Yes, it's me. Let me pull you onto the bed. You need to be comfortable.”

Riya nodded and curled up at his side. They hadn't properly spoken since this afternoon and he was still unsure of it all, but that could wait, all he wanted now was peace. 

Maybe in time he'd ask her if their near kiss meant anything, or why she was calling him moonlight, or if despite everything there was any hope that this chaotic lie could turn to truth. But not tonight, tonight his only question as he held his adored family close and drifted back to sleep was; ‘How come I don't remember writing those letters?’

It seemed that as of lately his memory had been failing.

The same elements haunted her nightmares. Riya was starting to think they'd haunt her until the day she died.

The cliff crumbling under her broken nails, Yul reaching for her and screaming, her own scream and the seemingly eternal freefall as terror consumed her.

Another crack, she felt the bones break and the darkness threatened to take her as the cave filled with icy cold water. She'd gone back underwater and was unable to swim away. There was no helmet, no voice of a betrayed friend to guide her, and no air as her lungs filled water.

‘No, not again, please not again!’ She pleaded mentally as she slipped away.

But unlike other times where the nightmare ended with her spitting up water and screaming, this time someone was helping her.

A soft hand held onto hers, a touch she'd grown accustomed to and knew all too well.

“Alec!” She mouthed. 

Her husband was pulling her upwards to the surface of the water, swimming strongly for them both. Riya couldn't do more than just hold on tightly to him.

This time she wasn't left alone to drown. Soon they emerged, under a thunderstorm and a rough sea with high waves.

“Careful!” She shielded Alec with her body as a big wave washed them away and they drifted further from the shore.

“Over here!” A familiar voice called out. 

Fiore pulled her and Alec up onto a wooden raft. The little girl was also in her swimsuit, terrified and fighting against the waves but now she had them.

Riya remained terrified. The sea was still deep, dark, and ruthless, rain poured over their heads and lightning lit up the sky as the sound of roaring thunder seemed to shake the world.

Still, she pulled Alec and Fiore into a hug. Whispering to them lovingly. “It's okay, I can see the shore. We'll make it as long as we stay together.”

Her eyes snapped open in a hospital bed. Riya glanced at Fiore, holding onto Alec and sleeping soundly by his side, he too was asleep, but his eyes fluttered open as he glanced at her.

“Sunlight?” He called out.

Riya giggled and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep. I'll stay with you.”

He obeyed, wrapping an arm around her and drifting off to sleep. Riya cuddled close to him, remembering the words she spoke in her dream.

The trio was indeed still adrift. This interview, the public opinion, the ghosts of the past, this medical scare and the recovery that awaited her, it all seemed ready to drown them like a tidal wave.

But they were together, and the shore was in sight. ‘We'll make it.’ Riya thought as she drifted away into a peaceful dreamless slumber. 

“Ack! I thought you were staying over at Reynolds. I gotta go pick up the fam!” Porscha said as she walked into the kitchen in her pj's and found Fabio having breakfast.

“I…left early.” Fabio said shakily

Suspicious? Those two were often glued at the hip. Did they have a fight?

“Why?” Porscha asked as she grabbed a yogurt parfait from the fridge and sat down to eat.

“I'm not sure…I've been doing some thinking. Maybe it's time I stop this.”

“I see. Do you no longer fancy Reynold?”

“No! Not at all! I don't just fancy him, I love him! And that's why I must end things.”

“Okay, Fabi you lost me and there's not even double digits on the clock yet. Why is your love a problem? Shouldn't the issue be whether or not Reynold loves you back?”

“No, babygirl you don't get it! I can't love him! I can't be with him! Even if he loves me back I cannot be with him! 

I'm not worthy! You've seen Reynold, you work for him! This man is the pinnacle of elegance and professionalism, what the fuck would people say if he was to chose an uncut former pornstar for a partner?! I can't ruin the career he's worked so hard to have! I can't ever compare to what he once had so why even bother?!”

Porscha nodded and then smacked him in the back of the head.

“The fuck?! Cha-cha, what was that for?!”

“For being stupid! You're 30 mijo, not an edgy 13 year old!

You think Reynold cares for things such as image and past?! Honey, this man comes from a blue collar household and his parents still send good morning gifs to the group chat. He won't care about what you did to make your way to the top. He knew you back then, he speaks praises of you all the time!

As for his past, there's a reason he and Jules divorced. I don't think it's a particularly bitter one, as they're still great friends but I trust them both as smart and capable adults to know why they parted ways. 

Fabio really, is there anything else that's driving you away from him?”

He sighed. “I don't know…I'm scared to be more trouble than I'm worth. He does not do this or purpose but sometimes he treats me as if made of glass. I'm not, I don't regret my past I just regret how judgemental the world is towards it. I don't want that to extend to him or for us to be viewed as what? A savior and his project! 

Don't get me wrong I'm grateful but I don't want us to be gawked at or demeaned. I don't want him to force himself to do or say things for my sake and there are times I feel he's pulling away as well.

Perhaps it's best we just keep everything casual until either of us moves on and we stay professional.”

“Okay, I ran out of yogurt and I can't keep the nerds waiting so I'll be quick. 

Every relationship is different. Mine with Sergei, yours and Reynold's, Alec and Riya and the relationships we all had before this all came to be. Thus, what I did or said in mine doesn't necessarily apply to you, but I do think there's something that applies to all relationships and that is healthy communication. 

You need to talk to Reynold. If he doesn't reciprocate your feelings then you continue as co-workers. I say you should cut out the casual sex to get over him faster.

If he does reciprocate, leave it clear that you love him, but won't tolerate the media slander or any infantilization due to your age difference and that you make your own choice. We're not dealing with Connor here after all. 

I can't speak for Rey, but he's a good man, and I know he loves you deeply. Go for it soon. I want you both to be happy.”

“Thanks Porscha.” Fabio said with a smile. 

“You're welcome buddy. Now I gotta run. Wake up my sweeties for me, I'll bring us all lunch when I get back!”

“You got it!”

Matchmaking. It never got any easier did it?

“This is why I stick with my Playstation 2.” Riya muttered as she was setting up the webcam to Fiore's gaming setup. 

The tangled up wires were annoying to deal with and she was not a tech genius but so far things looked good. ‘Alright, now I just need to wait for Fiore to finish studying.’

“Riya?”

She nearly fell over when she heard Ally's voice coming from the speakers. The gamer girl's smiling face was on the monitor, she was seated in a gamer’s chair and Riya could see an adorable room in the background, filled with rainbow LED lights, game posters, and video game figures.

Allyson Amber looked radiant, she wore her pajamas, her hair was tied in pigtails and she smiled at Riya sweetly.

“Hello Ally!” Riya greeted her as she centered herself on the video screen. “How are you?”

“I'm doing great! Hunter and I just finished furnishing the rest of the house! Oh it's looking perfect!”

That gave her a sense of peace. Ally had told her that once she won she'd move out and be able to pursue her career without judgement. Having once been shackled by the same familial expectations, Riya was overjoyed to see someone else escaping them too.

“That's great to hear! I didn't know you and Fiore were playing online.”

“Oh yes, my dear helper reached out wanting to play co-op. I think she wants to build herself a fanbase for game streams. Is it okay if we both stream the match?”

“Of course! Fiore commands the spotlight perfectly! I am very proud.”

“Glad to hear, and it's sweet you praise her.” Ally paused for a second as she glanced down and her gaze softened, before falling on Riya again. “How are you doing? Is…recovery well?”

“I am recuperating adequately. Sure sometimes I get aches but nothing can be done about those, and once my bones heal I'll begin physical therapy.”

“Those are great news! I'm really happy to hear you're recovering…I was really worried but well, I- I didn't know if you'd want me to call or contact you. Things seem a little hectic in the Shar- I mean Çelik household.”

Riya chuckled. “Everything's been quite eventful since we got back home. But worry not, I am well, so is Alec and Fiore too. We have good friends helping out and thus far my condition is stable…

Actually Ally, now that I have you here, I'd like to apologize to you. During the game you were very kind and friendly to me, you even told me of your personal matters and I…used them against you. 

I am terribly sorry for everything, for lying, for putting you at risk and for being so dismissive. If it's worth anything, I sincerely mean it now when I say I'm happy you got what you wanted and deserve. I appreciate the trust you gave me and I hope you keep on thriving. I'm sorry I almost led you down my path…”

She waited a moment, unable to look at the woman she almost doomed, despite the fact she rooted for her during the second season finale and was nothing but a nice girl with the same insecurities. 

“Riya, look at me please.” Ally requested. She obeyed. "I've long since forgiven you.”

“W-What?!”

“It's true. I don't blame you for being ruthless. That's how the game is, fuck that's how reality shows are! 

I did suspect you were lying about being too invested in my problems but I can tell you cared regardless, you gave me good advice, and while we had different beliefs and game plans I am certain I wouldn't have been able to endure as much as I did without your council and your friendship.

You didn't lead me down any path, I am an adult and very much capable of choosing my own fate. Neither you, nor Grett, nor anyone made me do anything, so if you feel guilt for that please don't! I am responsible for my own actions, for better or worse.

The truth is, I understand why you did what you did and to be honest, I am certain that under different circumstances I would've been the villianess of the season instead. 

I forgive you Riya and I am happy to hear from you again.”

She wiped away a tear before speaking. “I really appreciate that. Thank you, Ally. I am happy to be talking to you.”

“Right back at ya! Honestly I…I feel like I should say sorry too.”

“No! You haven't wronged me!”

“Haven't I? I made that deal with Jake to stick you in third. Truth is I am a woman of my word, and we already promised Connor we would carry out his will. Plus I thought I had a better chance against Jake in the finals.”

“Hmmm, clever girl. Worry not, I know it was not personal and just a game strategy. I am not mad at either of you, just at myself for letting my anxieties consume me and causing this mess.

I'll say though, it seems like the Jake rivalry wasn't a winning move.”

Ally sighed and rolled her eyes. “No it wasn't. I am grateful he split the prize with me and I hope he continues to enjoy his win but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly disappointed. I really wanted to beat him just once.”

“Don't let the frustration build, it's not good.” She advised, remembering the times she bit her tongue and didn't speak to Connor about her first finale, leading to boiling rage that came out in the worst way possible. “On that topic, do tell Hunter I am sorry I robbed him of the win during the second season. I was certain he'd end us all in the finale.”

Ally nodded with a laugh. “I'll pass on your message. Though I doubt he remains angry, things are looking up for us now and well, don't tell him I said this but it was a fantastic play on your part to take out your biggest competition in the finale and go all the way with a bitter pair.”

“Hehe, that was the plan. I'll give James and Aiden this, they made up when it mattered. If not I know I could've won!”

“I think so too. You really have a winner’s aura.”

“Hey! So do you…”

They talked for a little while longer until Fiore entered her room with a big smile. “I am acing this, I just got an 89 in History!” She said proudly.

“Good job, sweetie!” Riya said as she hugged her and kissed her forehead. “Game’s all set up for you, and Ally is ready. I'll leave you two be, you've earned some downtime. 

It was really nice to see you Ally. Thank you for the talk.”

“My pleasure, glad to see you too. Take care!”

She wheeled herself out of the room with a smile. Riya knew she wasn't owed forgiveness and she wouldn't beg for it either but the fact that at least one of the people she hurt granted her that mercy was enough to make her cry tears of joy, as she headed downward.

Perhaps there was more hope for her than she once thought possible.

“Alright Zombie, tell big sis what you got!”

Porscha said as she walked over to her friend's desk. With everything handled at home she took a quick detour to review mission details with Zombie and Sen.

“No incriminating evidence on his personal PC but I found vacation pics. Wanna see?” He asked as he was gonna turn the monitor her way.

“Zombie, I swear to the triple goddess if you show me Connor boobs I'll ban you from the mission!” She yelled. 

Sen just laughed. “Hire me to take down the nerd?” He joked.

“You wish, I can beat you in fight!" Zombie protested.

“No, Sen would win. You fight online, that's your forte.” Porscha said.

“Touché.” Zombie sighed. “Nothing worthwhile here. I'll keep at it for the company servers. They have not spent enough on security if no one has caught me yet.”

“That's what happens when you have a company full of oldies.” Sen said. “I've not seen anything suspicious, but I'll burn sage to ward off Connor's bad vibes.”

That got her cackling. “If only it were that easy!”

Zombie stopped typing for a moment. “I've been thinking, are we being too harsh on this fool?

Don't get me wrong he's an ass and I hate his guts. But if I fumbled Riya and she made me look like a chump on national TV I'd be pissed off too.”

Sen sighed. “No, I don't think so.

A part of me understands oldie. No one likes seeing people who wronged them get everything they want. I'd be pissed if I saw my bullies' faces everywhere and they were happy and getting the life they wanted after they messed with me. But at the same time why should I be trying to mess with someone who I had problems with like 10 years ago?

Say what you want about Riya but she was clear with him. She was gonna focus on the game, she was gonna be ruthless and either he'd get caught in the crossfire or cost her the win. Funny how he did just as she expected even after being warned…

I understand, I empathize and I can feel sad to an extent, but there's only so much sympathy I can have for a man who dragged out a feud long after the show ended. I don't see any other contestants hell bent on ruining Riya's life like oldie is.”

“Fair, fair. What about you, Cha-cha?” Zombie asked. “Where do you stand?”

She wasn't one to speak ill of others, even her enemies, but Connor had been an exception to many of her rules.

She never trusted older rich men, but chose to give him a chance for he was once the boyfriend of a dear friend. She wasn't soft when people were insensitive or willfully stupid, but bit her tongue whenever Connor would deflect from his actions in the season two finale. She tried so hard not to criticize a man she didn't truly know, but with every episode that passed, with the revelations, and the indifference, and his own admission of wanting to hurt Riya all for his own ego. She was done giving him grace.

“It's like Sen said. There are reasons for Connor to be angry. I don't fault the man for being understandably enraged. More so if Riya is the first woman to terminate the relationship with him, rather than the other way around. Being told no, being betrayed, being lied to, they're all reasons to be rightfully mad. Even if we never got along, I can understand that and sympathize.

But my sympathy only goes so far. Connor was warned, he knew firsthand what awaited him if he remained in the game and rather than leaving both the competition and Riya behind after his elimination he fought tooth and nail to return with the sole goal of taking Riya down. He couldn't do so himself, for our lady is no fool and she made sure she'd be heard if not by word then by action, so when he knew he'd leave for a second time he enlisted the help of the remaining heroes.

He got what he fucking wanted and then some when we saw her sink into the darkness. Jake and Ally fought for the win and even split the prize. The end he wanted was achieved, this should've been the end of it! So then why?! Why is he still haunting us?! Why is he still so thirsty for revenge?!

The punishment fit the crime, Riya lost, she even got injured, she was left alone. Everything he wanted was given to him on a silver platter and yet the spoiled manchild wanted more! He wanted recognition, or pleading, or just I don't know for Riya to come back after he'd proven twice over he would rather seek to destroy her than allow her to take a path he disapproved of.”

“Sounds more like a shitty parent than an ex if we're being honest.” Sen joked. “The ages fit, at least.”

Porscha shuddered. “Don't remind me. We're all adults here and they met as such last year but it's still a little unnerving. Perhaps that's why he treated her like a disobedient daughter rather than an equal.

Nevertheless, I feel the lack of sympathy many of us have for Connor now is due to his disappropriate retribution.

I had an ex in high school, he never helped me with my bad home situation, but I won't blame a dumb teen for my hardships. I simply vanished without a word when it got to be too much. Why should I haunt him and destroy his work? What about my college ex? That man dumped me before graduation because he wanted a doctor not a nurse and I was just a pastime. Okay, then would it be fair of me to get his license revoked? No! The man does his job well, why would I bring work into a personal matter? The only way I'd get him fired is if he committed malpractice, as far as I know he never has! So, my revenge was just seeing him marry a rich smart doctor that overshadows him in intelligence, salary and fame. He got what he wanted and so did I. No need to waste my time and money making him miserable.

The woman I dated before meeting Sergei was the worst out of my exes. Turns out she was engaged and cheated on her fiance with me, because ‘she wanted to taste freedom before she married’ or so she said. I simply broke up with her, cut contact, and informed her fiance of everything. The man left her and her parents arranged another marriage, they're together to this day and now own a Thai restaurant. 

If I was to apply Connor’s justice then I should destroy her business, right? She broke my heart, wasted my time and made a fool out of me, it would be fair. But then what of her employees that don't even know my name, what of the husband that did nothing to deserve my scorn, what of the clients that enjoy her product? They're not deserving of pain because she turned out a bitch. I enacted justice by leaving her behind and exposing her lies, no need to keep beating a dead horse.

Punishment should fit the crime and yet Connor wanted to enact punishment after the matter had been settled and his goals achieved. Proper revenge would've been leaving it all behind knowing the woman who ‘wronged’ him was no victor, that she'd have to endure pain for her greed and that he was now free to pursue someone who valued him and shared in his vision for the future. 

Instead he messed with her career, and that is what makes this all unfair. Because not once did Riya ever lay eyes upon his work and tried to destroy it. Meanwhile he didn't just mess with Riya's career he messed with the career of hundreds of people that have nothing to do with him and his ego!

If he'd walked away without a word after our motel confrontation then I wouldn't be here. Angry interviews, slander, it was to be expected, even Riya would've let him vent to his heart's content. But this, this was beyond low.

If Connor Blake deemed work to be a fair target, then we may attack his work too, without guilt or hesitation. Man wants a war? We'll give him one.”

Her punk friend whistled as he stood from the work chair and glanced at the computer. “And I thought getting ghosted was harsh. Sorry you had shitty exes.”

“S'okay. I had good ones too. It's all about balance.”

“Balance, fairness, tarot cards and black dresses, you really are a witch.” Sen said jokingly.

“That I am, so don't make me hex you.”

“I agree with what you said though.” The stuntman said as he also stood. “Revenge should be proportional to the crime. For a man who fancies himself a hero he seems to want torture over true justice.”

Porscha sighed, feeling as if the last vestige of mercy she had for Connor Blake evaporated in the air. “He keeps digging up corpses and wonders why he's dancing with ghosts. Let him live in the past, it's his only worthwhile achievement.”

“You're right. Our only matter should be protecting our iconic queen!” 

Porscha chuckled. “You said it, Sen! I wouldn't be where I am without my girl. I must pay her back.”

“Ditto, Riya helped me get hired even with all the tattoos, piercings, and the hair. I owe her a lot.”

“Girlie helped me become confident. I love her attitude and won't let anyone bully her into giving up her dreams.”

The three of them, those at home, the rest of the crew, they all had something they could thank Riya for. Perhaps that's what the media could never see, that for all the villainy and harsh choices there was a sweet encouraging woman there, not wanting anyone to feel like she once did.

A beep from the computer sent them all rushing toward the monitor.

“Well, well, well, we just got access to the tech at Blake Industries headquarters.” Zombie said with a grin as he rubbed his hands together. 

“We eating good?” Sen asked.

“Enough to exceed the weight limit, old friend.”

Porscha poked him. “Enough with that joke! We need all the dirt you can find.”

“Sis, with the stuff that I am seeing this is gonna be dirtier than your alien robot comics.”

Critiques to her favorite media aside, Porscha was giddy that things were looking up.

‘The Devil is getting his justice.’

Alec didn't expect knocking on his door so late. Truthfully after an overnight stay at the hospital and having to wait for results on these idiotic migraines he just wanted to pass out in peace.

He answered the door to see Riya in her chair, she was carrying supplies. “Hi! Sorry, were you asleep?”

“No not yet, do you need me?”

“I was hoping to check in on you. Feeling well tonight?”

Alec let her in. “I am well, don't worry. If I was feeling sick I would've to-”

Riya quickly turned her chair back and glared. “Darling we both know that's a lie. You didn't say shit to any of us and we have a live-in nurse! Alec, you need to take good care of yourself. We were worried.”

He sighed. “You're right. I guess I'm not used to having others take good care of me. But honestly, I don't feel sick. No headache, no withdrawal, no pain. What about you? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine. Back is a little sore but we did sleep on a hospital bed yesterday.”

They did. The three of them huddled together for comfort and warmth, he never thought he'd actually want those scenes from movies with the whole family sleeping in a pile on the same bed. He didn't didn't think he'd ever be filled with warmth again upon hearing the words ‘wife’ or ‘child’ or ‘family’. For so long, life was a dark void, and only now had light been brought into it.

“Then let me pamper you.”

“Alec, it's fine. You just got discharged! I can just sleep it off.” He picked her up from the chair and she clung to him. “Whoa! Someone is being forward tonight.” She joked.

“Sleep it off by my side then. Please.”

Riya chuckled, whispering in his ear. “I do love it when you beg.”

Fuck. She was gonna be the death of him, wasn't she? ‘No, not death. She's my life.’

He took that as confirmation and gently laid her on the bed before getting comfortable by her side. Funny how things were that neither had crossed a line or voiced anything about the relationship and yet they'd slept by the other's side so often he already knew how it would be. Where she'd lay her head, place her hands, how she'd be staring at him with sleepy dark eyes and how her elegant and swift movements would turn slow and clumsy as sleep took her.

“I cried for you.”

“Hmm?”

“When you were voted out, I cried for you. I didn't let the cameras catch it, I didn't tell anyone how lonely I felt without you, how much I'd miss you, how I should've dropped the pretense for just a moment and said goodbye properly…Instead I clung to that stupid mask that almost made me lose you! I can no longer imagine myself without you.”

“Neither can I.” He confessed. “There'd be no me without you, Riya.

When the cameras cut and the last thing we saw was your terrified face in free fall. Fuck! I thought I was going to have a heart attack!

Gabby screamed, Ellie covered her and her girlfriend's eyes, Grett was frozen in place and I…I blacked out in shock, only got to calm down when Kristal said you'd been found.

I checked on Fiore and Ally, they were unscathed, so were James and Jake, but you and Yul had been brought out on gurneys! I remember he was screeching that they had to check you, that there was a crack, Kristal had to sedate him so Marcus could care for you.

Connor and I went to check on you and you should've seen him, that scrawny annoying dancer was ready to throw a punch. I sorta respect that about him…Riya, you think about a little mask? You think that's what got under my skin? No, no it wasn't that. The ire I had, if any, was at the thought of losing you.

I need you, I need you like I need oxygen, and I'm not letting anyone, not even death take you from me!”

She placed her hand upon his face, tracing along his skin and even the lines. “Things aren't as dire now, but sometimes I feel tempted by it all…Maybe the only way to stay alive is to take from that former mask, but I hurt you with it. I hurt many with it and I cannot do it again. Not to save myself…”

Alec placed his hand over hers. “Return to the mask and to villainy if you must. Crush every enemy, every obstacle, let your eyes take on devilish red if that means you remain alive! Riya, I'll hold you together this time. I'll kneel by your wicked queen’s throne if need be.”

She pulled herself up slightly, pressing her lips against his. A soft chaste case that tasted more like salty tears than cherry red or wine. “I will take you with me in every lifetime.” She said as her tired eyes closed and her head was upon his chest.

“Yes, my queen.” Alec said with a smile as he kissed the top of her head and drifted away too.

Some parts of the broken man wouldn't ever be gone, and the one that worshiped her? Even healing couldn't pry that from him. 

 
I see you
Cause you won't get out of my way!
I hear you
Cause you won't quit screaming my name!
I feel you
Cause you won't stop touching my skin!
I need you
They're coming to take you away!

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: Nothing but lies and crooked wings...

I'm a believer,
Nothing could be worse,
All these imaginary friends.
Hiding betrayal,
Driving the nail,
Hoping to find a savior.

“You are an absolute fool!”

Libithina’s voice was unmistakable as the tall blonde was walking his way.

Alec waved from the bar, his vision was already blurred from drunkenness and apparently so were his motor functions.

“Heyyyyyy Libbyyyyy!”  he slurred before falling off the stool at the bar. “Ow!”

The muscular woman glared at him for a second and then shook her head In disappointment. 

He could only hear something along the lines of ‘Did he pay? Is he cut off? I'm taking him home.’

Home. Right, he hadn't had that in a while now.

“Alright you fuckass nerd, let me carry you. I know that you can't walk.” She said as she picked him up and threw him over her shoulder.

“But Libby, what if I puke?”

“I punch your lights out, that's what. Keep your mouth shut and we're fine.” The woman said as she carried her co-worker out of the pub and over her shoulder.

The night was cold and starless and like every day for the past 9 months he'd been feeling adrift. Alec was blacking out as he was carried, feeling guilty for making someone else a victim of his misery.

“Sorry…” He slurred, as guilt began to consume him and his tired eyes closed.

“Don't! Just…Don't say shit.

Alec, I'm just your co-worker and you probably don't wanna hear shit from the butch who scares customers off with her resting bitch face, but you can't drown yourself in wine as life passes you by! You can't just act as if your demise wouldn't be deeply mourned!

There are people out there who care about you! Your family, me, my mom, and Mandy, we all care!”

Her voice cracked, he hadn't seen her cry before, not even as they both finished ‘The ones who walk away from Omelas’. He wanted to apologize again, but what good would it do if his actions were clearly not going to change.

What good was it to miss him? Demir was still brilliant and unaware of his son’s fall from grace. Good, the man was better off without him anyway! Perhaps he and Catherine would find more joy in helping raise Daniel. The child deserved better than a deadbeat alcoholic who did everything wrong! Oh and the Williams bookshop could use a good employee actually, one who could do their job and show up everyday instead of passing out in the middle of the room in a puddle of his own vomit! Classy right? Ha! Who was he kidding? He'd lost class and dignity a long time ago too.

There was nothing and no one left to live for.

“I…I know you've been through a lot. That we can't change that or give you back what you lost. But there's still time to start again, right? You're a brilliant, handsome, fella! I know you have it in you to make things right. There's a lot to live for!”

Was she secretly a Vulcan and reading his wicked mind? Nah couldn't be, Libby didn't have pointy ears. Still, he felt a part of himself desperately wishing to believe her words and do better.

But how? With what money? With what health? With what motivation? No, this was really a doomed endeavor. Kind words from such a dear friend were all but wasted on him.

He'd forget them all by morning anyway.

Fiore spent visitation hours in her room, trying not to scratch the scabs on her wrist that were slowly healing.

No one had come to see her in a year, it was likely they wouldn't come to see her this year too…’Maybe they already forgot.’

Nah they wouldn't, still had to send the check to these fucking nuns that treated her like devil spawn. How come none of her other classmates got smacked?! She wasn't the only troublemaker here!

Whatever…It's not like it mattered anyway.

Fiore laid on her back, looking at the top of her bunk bed. She'd stuck a drawing there, one of a familiar spot in Tipaskaw where she'd read the books Alec gave her while Ellie sketched and sometimes Grett would read along with her. 

‘I wonder where they are.’ She'd seen a glimpse of Ellie as they set up for movie night, as the she roasted the first season's winner in an interview. For a brief moment she'd smiled, seeing the redhead's face on the screen. 'I miss you.'

But the others had vanished. She didn't know what became of Gretchen Clark or Alec Çelik.This school was a fucking prison…

‘Even if I was out of here, they might not want me to contact them.’

Those last betrayals played in her head over and over. Why did she do it?! What did she gain?! She was still alone and even worse off than before. ‘I should've let Alec win…Maybe he would've let me come along.’

At times she was enraged at the man for letting her feel as if she actually had a proper parent only to then call her a ‘mistake’. Other times she woke up from nightmares screaming apologies to the man whose life she likely ruined. Thats all she was, a devil spawn of ruin.

She felt herself drifting away to sleep as her roommates came back from visiting. 

“Here, have one! They're talking about your show!” Sofia said as she tossed her a magazine. 

Oh right, another season had wrapped up. She glanced at the winner, a handsome influencer. The third placer was apparently his boyfriend, he had a cool style and seemed like a shy guy. 

The one that caught her attention was the woman who finished in second. She was beautiful and had a dazzling smile, apparently she was an aspiring actress.

‘Actress…I hope you make it. Second place isn't all that good.’

She fell asleep clutching the magazine, wishing that she could go back to that stupid camp and see everyone's faces once again.

‘Unlikely, you'll be dead before they let you out of here.’

The rainbow lights flickered as Porscha spun her around while Riya swayed and moved with the rhythm of the music.

“Whooo! Shake it girl!” Fabio cheered as he danced along with them. 

The group had been dancing for almost an hour now. Riya was still in awe of it all. An afterparty after winning an Emmy, her friends all cheering for her and her career growing at a rapid pace. Things couldn't get any better! 

What a difference a year could make! Sure she lost the gold, half of her cast hated her guts, and perhaps was slightly scared of the underwater but…No biggie! A small price to pay for her dream finally coming true! 

Now that she had it all, she wouldn't dare let go of it.

“Alright ladies, we're hitting the bar!” Fabio said as he held their hands and they headed for the bar.

Sergei was already there, letting his wife sit on his lap as he welcomed them back. Reynold was talking to Connor but they stopped upon seeing the others arrive. “Back so soon? I thought you'd be dancing the night away.” Her agent said.

“I think we're just a little tired. I was smiling so much my cheeks hurt!” Riya said. “Should we get the usual?”

“None for me…I can't drink for the next nine months.” Porscha said.

She gasped and nearly fell off her stool. “You're joking!”

“For real?!” Fabio said, tempted to poke Porscha's tummy.

“No way!” Reynold said as he stood. “Did you guys confirm it?”

Porscha nodded. Sergei smiled. “We have a little one on the way.”

The group cheered and erupted in squeals, hugs and congrats, but Riya noticed that Connor didn't seem all too pleased by the news. He congratulated the couple and despite the slight mutual dislike they had for each other Porscha seemed appreciative of it. Still, she could sense something was wrong.

The group was set to party some more, but noticing that her boyfriend was tired and that there seemed to be bubbling tension, Riya opted to leave.

The ride was silent, she clung to the steering wheel as she snuck glances at Connor who stared at the window. Was it just exhaustion? Or maybe he was sad? Homesick? Riya wasn't sure if she should ask.

“So, excited to be an uncle?” She asked, trying to initiate conversation. 

“Huh? Oh right! I…Honestly I don't see those two as the type to have kids. Porscha is very wild and Sergei's kinda cold. But if they're good with the baby then yeah it'd be nice.”

She bit her lip. ‘Don't start shit. They're probably never gonna get along.’ Riya mused.

“They're very loving, I'm sure you'll see that in time. I just ask because you seemed upset. Are you tired? I know the Emmy ceremonies last hours but I was hoping it wasn't too taxing.”

“Haha no, I'd never miss one of your award ceremonies. It was a bit tiring but that's probably cuz of age, guess my days of dancing are coming to an end.”

She didn't want to think about that, but at times like this she was reminded that the milestones she was looking forward to were already in Connor's rearview mirror. He'd already spent many nights dancing away, he wouldn't want that now that his desire was for peace and calm, but she…She'd only begun dancing.

Well, no matter. At least he was just tired and not angry.

“Hey, Riya, can I ask you something?”

“Sure!”

“Have you considered having a child?”

She stepped on the breaks so hard the tires squealed. “A-A child?! Connor you can't be serious!”

“I don't mean right now! Well, I wouldn't mind it. I just wanna know if you'd ever consider it.” He said, still shaken from both the sudden stop and harsh reaction.

“Maybe? I'm ambivalent towards the matter. Kids are great, regardless of age or parentage but…I just wanna focus on my career now. I'm finally winning awards and making headlines. I don't think it's ideal for me to have a baby.”

“Right.” Connor responded. 

She hated hearing the disappointment in his voice. She hated knowing that he resented this joy, that if she hadn't gotten famous maybe she'd be more receptive to having kids. She hated keeping him away from something he wanted just because she finally had a taste of her dreams.

‘I don't want to give it up, I just got it! But I don't want to give you up too. Please, two more years and then, then I'll be exactly the wife you want, the one everyone claims to want! Nobody needs to be disappointed!’

The words wouldn't leave her, and so the drive resumed in deafening silence as droplets of rain began to fall. He wasn't going to talk, was he? Just give her a peck on the lips when they parted and then he'd head back to Canada come morning light. So much for a couple's night of celebration. 

But! But it was fixable! If things went well and Connor waited for her then a break would do her good. She could show him off to the family and they'd be proud, they could live together and she could take breaks in between projects. It was the perfect way to keep them all happy

Them all…them…not her…

That didn't matter. Only a select few of her most beloved people had celebrated this triumph with her. And after this bitter taste, she would even forget she had an Emmy award if not for the trophy carefully packed in the back of the car. 

Turning accomplishments and joyful days into static and guilt. Wouldn't be the first time now would it?!

Because Riya still felt water all around her whenever she closed her eyes. 

300…299…298…297…296…295…

“Everything written on them was unrepeatable since time immemorial and forever more, because races condemned to one hundred years of solitude did not have a second opportunity on earth.”

Alec took in the last line of the last book he'd ever read. Perhaps it was the fact that Márquez had a melancholic style in all his works or perhaps it was the fact that he related all too much to those words but he felt his heart crumble at the quote.

A hundred years of solitude, forevermore, with no second chance of fixing his broken self, for he was not worthy of a second opportunity. 

Yes, it was a befitting end for a man such as himself.

273…272…271…270…269…268…

He'd already called Cheryl and there was no answer. Deserved, honestly. He'd said goodbye to his co-workers before he left the bookshop.

‘Maybe I should call father? No! No, he can't go through this again! At least…he has Catherine this time around. I hope she's not disappointed in me for this.’

204…203…202…201…200…299…

The 45 had been loaded but he took out the bullets again, making sure that everything was set to perfection. For a firearm so old and expensive it seemed like it would work properly and yet, he feared for the worst.

156…155…154…153…152…151…

What else to be done rather than maybe calm his breathing and heartburn? Seriously, stop shaking! We need to aim correctly, dunce! What do you want?! To mangle yourself?!

Do it! Stop…stalling…There's nothing and no one to stay for!

89…88…87…86…85…84…

How were the others doing? Did Grett get out of that house? Is she free from that family? Maybe…Nah, she was definitely strong enough to walk away from them. ‘I shouldn't have betrayed you. I'm sorry, Grett. I hope you find a better family in time.'

83…82…81…80…79…78…

Did Ellie get the money she needed? Maybe she's in Poland with Gabby…He didn't even mind her roasting him in interviews if it meant his former friend thought of him for a moment. ‘I'm sorry I couldn't help you…I swear I would've done it! If I had won then we each would've walked away with 250k! If that had been enough then…

Fuck it, can't fix the past.’

77…76…75…74…73…72…

Fiorella…Tiny, genius, and misunderstood Fiore Ricci. Where had she gone? No one had heard from her since the show ended and Alec sometimes feared the worst.

‘I…won't ever get to tell you how sorry I am for what I said. You, you were teaching me how to be a better man, a better dad, and I blindly thought I could keep us together. But anger won and I lashed out…I'm so sorry I hurt you, because if there's something I knew I did right in my life it was keeping you close. 

If you're still out there I hope you found a good family who loves you. That you grow into an respectable adult and treat your kids better than I ever treated you and Danny…’

71…70…69…68…67…66…

The metallic cold to the side of his head nearly made him faint. He'd never thought that he'd do such a thing. He thought he'd die of old age. He wanted to. He had to! Helena would've wanted him to live!

‘She's not here anymore is she?! Wherever she is…I don't think I'm worthy of going there too.’

30…29…28…27…26…25…

Fuck he was terrified, as if his fingers turned to stone whenever he tried to pull the trigger. Why was he so scared?! He'd been thinking of this for months now!

God, he needed a drink!

15…14…13…12…11…10…

Was anyone going to cry over him?

9…

This was it, he was going to die.

8…

Die as he lived, a fucking disappointment!

7…

‘I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…’

6…

Helena would've begged him to stay. That would've been enough. 

5…

Or not…He didn't want her to see him like this. She wouldn't have forgiven him for hurting his family, both his London family and his family at camp.

4…

This was it. He was dying…Even now thinking of it felt surreal.

3…

‘Stop hesitating! God…This is really it. This is how I die…’

2…

‘The moon looks lovely tonight. It'll be a nice last sight.’

1…

‘I'm sorry.’ He thought as his finger curled against the trigger.

Before he could carry out his self imposed execution his phone rang loud enough to disturb the silence of the reaper.

Alec reached for it and answered the call.

Cheryll wasn't calling him back, it was an unknown number, still he picked it up.

"H-Hello?" He said, masking his shaky voice.

"Alec Çelik?" A female voice asked.

"This is he."

"This is Kristal McLean from Disventure Camp. We begin production on the All-Stars season in two weeks and I was wondering if you'd be interested in participating."

Again he froze, it was as if the world had stopped. "There's going to be another season?" He asked, still incredulous.

"You betcha. I know you're not active in tabloids or social media but you have quite a big fanbase and it would be great to have you join us. What do you say?"

"Absolutely! Send me the contract!"

"Enthusiastic, aren't you? I'll send everything to your email. Has it changed since last season?"

"No it's the same."

"Then I'll be communicating with you shortly. See ya soon Alec, have a good one."

"You too, thank you." He said.

Alec dropped his phone and stared at the wall for a moment as the reality of it all hit him at once.

He had another chance? He had another chance! If he won he could go to rehab, he could get a new home, he could get a fund for Daniel and…and he could help the others! Oh, oh he was going to see them again!

He was- He had almost he…He would be dead by now if he’d done it.

His glasses were smudged, only it wasn't dirt but rather water, he took them off and realized he was crying.

One tear, then another, and another, until everything he'd been holding onto for the last two years came out in a flood of tears.

He wasn't an emotional man. He'd cried all he had to as a child, until now that is.

It was less of a cry of sadness but one of catharsis, he wept and wept as he fell on his knees and clung to the weapon, his voice wasn't sobbing, it was screaming and aching leaving his throat sore after just ten minutes and still he wept until he couldn't even breathe.

Alec's head was pounding, and he stumbled as he stood up. He shook off the feeling and began preparations.

‘If I win then I'll be redeemed. If not…I can at least make sure everything is okay before I go.’

‘Finally made it! Ugh yes yes I'll deal with the interviews later. No I am not focusing on the people here like Connor does they already ha- A fan? That’s nice. Hmmm maybe the season won't be so bad.’

‘A plane. A fucking plane. They really upped the budget with the new host. Hmmm it'll be difficult to plot here, maybe I can work with Grett, Ellie and Fiore again. Gabby should be included too but she's friends with Tom as for the other- There she is. Riya's the one I want as my ally.’

‘He's the one. Alec Çelik, secondary mastermind of the first season. He'd be my ticket to finals! And unlike James I don't think I'd mind losing to him.’

‘They're here! Throw the book! Run! Run!!! We made it! Oh shut up, you stupid twink! Heh, Ellie smiled at me. Hey…you’re here. You look so tired... I'm sorry.

Please don't stay quiet.’

‘Aside from having Riya on the team this arrangement is a hot mess. I'll have to branch out. Hmmm, then again we have most of the villains here. I'll circle back to that later.’

‘Already back and he's on my nerves. Riya c'mon it's not his fault you're the one who agreed to come back and…and it's gonna be the same isn't it? By Kaali why'd I do this?! Stop, we're not going to the lake again! Shit…It's looks so much deeper at night. I'm getting out of here!’

‘First fucking boot of the season! Hunter hates me, so does Ally probably, James is not an idiot and the blonde hillbilly and her bluey sidekick are going to axe me!’

‘First challenge, we can't lose anyone just yet! But if Magenta loses you say you're gone…I- I won't forgive you yet! But…I'll take care of it.’

‘A glance and you knew, that's so nice. I usually have to repeat myself a thousand times. Oops! And now the wolf is chasing me! No matter, I'll take care of it. What?! Second?! Ugh, then we won't have any rewards! Fine, guess I can handle another rainy night.’

‘There, Jake's bound to cause trouble now. Don't waste this chance.’

‘They're fighting?! How?! Oh…Alec. Thank you.’

‘I'm so sick of the rain and judgements. Who are you all to tell me who I am and who to value?! None of you know me!'

‘Another dead relationship, shocker. Can't say this doesn't benefit me. I'll have to hear Riya's side soon.’

‘...I don't want to go underwater again.’

‘Yeah yeah leave me alone and pair off, it's not like everyone's already left me before. Whatever. I've been alone from the start. I'll manage.’

‘...I feel sick, but I had to do it. You and I, we are too different. I'm sorry I wasted your time. Please don't hate me. I'm trying not to hate myself too.’

‘A pact is secured. Okay Miriam is on our side and I may keep you safe. Now to get Cyan to lose.’

‘Second again?! Really?! At the very least no one's leaving yet.’

‘I must lay low today. Hunter is still gunning for me.’

‘Is it a worldwide shared old lady trait to be so nosy? How many times is she gonna blame me for this? You go date Connor if you like him so much!’

‘So it's over. Maybe for the best. Don't make the mistakes I made.’

‘An alliance? Ellie and I are on other team! This isn't gonna work…but it wouldn't hurt to try.’

‘Yes! We can take control at merge with this alliance!’

‘Good they all agreed now i just have to make sure there's no backstabbing- For fuck's sake Miriam!’

‘Yes! We didn't lose. I am safe for another day!'

‘She knew! She knew we'd get rid of her tonight!’

‘I'm going to give you acting classes after this. But first to sew some discord!’

‘Can you help me? I'm in danger. We were exposed! Someone is working with Miriam.’

‘No can do, I need this reward!'

‘Then what the fuck is this alliance for?! Oh shit Gabby won! Am I a goner?!’

‘Finally something useful!’

‘Oh shit! Magenta is in last place again…’

‘Saved by the skin of my teeth, no thanks to Riya! Whatever. Now just to make sure I stay safe!’

‘Hogging the shower again, and she doesn't even care. Wha- Well, yes you're hot but I'm not dignifying this with a response!’

‘Hehe got him to quiet down, he's so easy to read, adorable flustered nerd. Hmmm next time I'll ask him to join me, I wonder what his response would be?’

‘A song writing contest when I can't sing! Well, at least it's not a physical challenge.’

‘Perhaps I owe Cheryll an apology if this is how insufferable I was acting when she just wanted me to get over things. Connor for fuck's sake you need to calm down. I'm starting to see why she was so overwhelmed…’

‘Everything is ready and the lights will make us shine brighter than the other two teams! We can rock this, I just know it! Ugh, it kinda smells like smoke.’

‘That was a disaster and we both know well what we have to do. The question is, are we strong enough to chose game over bonds?’

‘We have to be.’

‘I guess we were…He's not wicked like us. He needs time to let you go. Such a shame.’

‘I…I warned you.’

‘Options are running low. I'll have to get in Jake's head again, easier said than done!’

‘Riya seems happier this morning. The acting lessons were fun. Feels like a weight is off her shoulders.’

‘For a while I'd forgotten what it was like to breathe. Porscha was right, I should've let you go sooner.’

‘No, no, no! I did everything right! I had the final 6 in the bag! I…I used Jake! Only now do you rise up against me?! Fine! I'll make sure you burn all bridges too then!

I'm sorry Alec…’

‘She's gone? This quick? I…I tried. I should've tried harder.’

‘Fuck! They're already gunning for us! Why'd you have to send that stupid letter?!’

‘Can't say it isn't fun to mess with Yul. At least Riya agrees.’

‘Okay, this isn't such a challenge. Need to trust on the cute nerd more. Wait…what am I saying?!’

‘Space, pizza, beach goodies, this is the life! I didn't think Riya would be so interested in star gazing.’

‘Alec's nice to talk to, he's so smart and funny. I'm glad I chose him as my top ally.’

‘Water's cold and we lost this time but we have the numbers. We must sway Gabby!'

‘A pity that Tess was the one to go, I rather liked her and she cheered for me last time. But this is a game and it guaranteed us another member. Don't disappoint us Gabby!’

‘We have equal numbers, just one more vote! Are you excited? We'll be running the game soon! Maybe that'll give us more time to get to know each other!’

‘I am so excited! You're safe and the heroes are in full disarray the game is ours! Ashley is going to be gone! You'll avenge Fiore and…and we will make it to the end!’

‘Returnees?! It has to be Ellie or Fiore! Sabotage is key! Wha- Connor shut up! You're the reason we're in this mess!’

‘How can I slow him down? If he makes it we are toast! What's that? Help Fiore win? Gotcha I'll be slow. Ugh can someone shut this blonde bitch up?! No nevermind I'll do it!

‘Well that was a fuckin mess! I am up now tho! Get to fixing it Alec, this is the last chance! Why is Riya getting me out of the harness? Did you suddenly decide to help or- No whatever I'm almost back in! Wait, what?! Ashley you vengeful rat!’

‘How?! You are determined and fast when it comes to fucking me over but oh where was this strength when I actually needed you?!

Let go…Let me go! I don't want to help you! You can roll your eyes and think me greedy but I can't say no to you?! Stop pulling me!

Just forget I exist…’

'What the fuck is going on over there?!'

'They speak evil of me for daring to leave Aiden behind but you force me off a cliff for your own gain and they will speak no evil of you?! A little biased now, isn't it?! Heh, but what can I expect when competing against their favorite little rich boy? You will never understand...'

‘I'm sorry. I tried. I wanted to bring you back in’

‘I know. It's okay. I had fun and you really did try. Maybe we're not doomed after all. Thank you for today…’

‘Connor is back. Well, guess it's best to make nice and ensure he's not targeting us first.’

‘Why him?! Out of every single fucking returnee it had to be his fucking ass! Ma Kaali what are you punishing me for?! At least I still have Alec.

Are Yul and Grett fighting again? No, I can't deal with this shit right now!’

‘Riya or I need to get immunity, it's the only way to ensure safety for ourselves and a tie. This night shall be a ride.’

‘He won?! Phew! Good to know! Oh? You want me to have dinner with you? Heh, I'd really like that.’

‘Gabby, I've always known you were a beast! Great job! Now with Tom and Ashley gone the physical threats are out, we regain the numbers and we will make it to the end.

Only way to make the night better is a celebratory dinner with the most radiant star in the sky.’

‘Thanks for choosing me. The food is great, the conversation even better, even the wine seems to taste sweeter with you…’

‘Will the withdrawals stop after this? Ah who cares? We're goofing off, you've told me of your crazy glamorous world and we can just sleep soundly knowing we'll make final two.’

‘Tell me, tell me about yourself or your family and…Why are you crying? Oh, oh! After everything she took it all?! But you were trying so hard for them! I…I thought it was sweet.

No! I am not giving you more wine! Alec you've had enough! Yes…I have regrets too, as much as he angers me. But I believe in true love regardless. One day.’

‘Can it be today?’

‘Are you- why would you kiss me? You know I can't resist you. You know I want you…But no. Not here! Not during the competition! I'm not making the same mistake again!

Just wait for me. If anyone can understand it's you.’

‘What have I done?’

‘See through the lie. That burn was nothing. I have to lie, please, please understand! I do have feelings for you but I can't.’

‘If what you want is to forget then…I will bury it. You've been through enough and so have I. Worry not, we'll remain only allies.’

‘You idiots! You…We could've had the majority!’

‘Oh god…I'm next aren't I?’

‘The girls won't be swayed. Immunity is key if we're gonna make it…Aiden you idiot! Oh shut up, I know you care! Would be a lot better if you didn't.’

‘I am not a monster! I meant what I said! I am sorry I couldn't be fully honest but I'd never dare try to take someone else's woman! Riya was free when we bonded…When I fell for her. I am not this person. Am I !?’

‘Lost another one. I really didn't want her to go this soon. Aside from Alec she and Ellie needed…Oh well, better her than us!’

‘I know the game should be our priority but are you even listening to me?! And now he's here, maybe we can all fix- Riya what the hell?! Don't…make this harder for me!

I need to forget the taste of your lips as soon as possible.’

‘Im not letting you take him! You hear me! Alec is my ally and you are getting in my way as always! I need you down and I need him on my side.

I'm sorry Alec, but I'll do whatever it takes. You know what it's like, don't you?’

‘That's a lie! A lie I do love Daniel! How could you dare think I don't! I'm not a monster! Stop looking at me like that!’

‘I need to take them all down quickly! Fuck he got out! Alec seriously?! You needed to stay in! Then again those questions were vicious…Ack, you again?! ask anything!

Anything except that…Fuck! I have to lie well but my chest hurts now. No! No, don't let him know I considered it! Don't let him think I'd ever choose his chains over the starry sky!

I'm out…this is hopeless.’

‘It's only half a lie. Whatever I feel for her I'll bury in time. It's what she wants. But if you still love her. If you can take care of her then I'll leave her in your hands before I go. I know well I won't win this season. Just…Grant me absolution please. Then I will go.’

‘If course. It's always at the dock and it's always him! Always taking what I want! You're not taking Alec!’

‘Seriously?! After everything, after yesterday's disaster, after you keep on burning it all down you think I'll fall for this?! Don't try to manipulate a manipulator! And don't you dare play with my heart!

It would've been yours if you'd asked for it…’

‘We were supposed to make it to the end together! You're giving it up for him?! You're giving up on me this quick?! Fuck…Guess everyone's right to toss me aside. 

I'll make it on my own then.’

‘I…knew. I knew my time here was nearing its end but a foolish hopeful part of me didn't want it to end like this.’

‘See ya. We could've been everything if you'd stuck to our plans. If you'd chosen me…Just go. I can't look at you anymore!

How much longer until we can leave voting grounds? I can't hold the tears!’

‘I'm happy to see you again, though I was hoping you'd win. Think of it this way, we can have some time together! I've missed you so much…’

‘I've missed you too. There's a lot I must tell you, though you probably know. I'll let my last days be happy. I'll try to do well by you and then I can go.

Is begging still viable?’

‘What did I do? What did I do?! What did I do! It was an accident and…and Ally was supposed to stick with us! No! I can't go three against one! I…can't lose here! Fuck!

No. Tears are for weaklings. I'm flame and fury, I will win. Soak me in rain, shock me, hurt me, I will win! You're all puppets! Puppets! I can play you oh so well! Even at the brink you just granted me what I needed! Get off me, Blake! Want another fracture? Fine, who am I to refuse a request?! Stay down, stay gone!

I'll win, it's simply inevitable!’

‘What happened to you? What happened to the sun hung in the sky for worship? It's turned so dark there's barely any shine left in it!

Fiore has secured a final chance. You certainly are determined but…No. You cannot win this game. I cannot allow it!

Come tomorrow this all ends…I'll miss them but they'll be okay. And you, Riya Sharma…You I wish I had met in another life where we weren't ripped apart.

I would've loved you even more, dearest black widow.’

‘This is it! I made it! I made it again! Yes! Oh I can almost taste it! I need to make plans and get them all raises oh and I can start saving up for the company. I wonder if any of them will accept my help…Ah, well no matter, they didn't help me in the game! It could've been between the three of us but they chose to be foolish. Ironically enough Yul's the only one who focused. Perhaps he's deserving of his reward once we win.

Because we will win, no matter the price I will win this time!’

‘It's easier than last time. I'm here as a helper not as a finalist. Ally is a good player. I like her. I think we have a good shot and she was nice to me…so then why?

Why do I hear mourning doves sing and feel as if someone else is gonna get licked by flames and bruised? Is it gonna be us?! Do I carry a curse?! Ally, please don't be foolish like me.

I don't want the past to repeat.’

‘...This is it then, the end of it all. I hope Allyson wins and Fiore can be safe. That the girls can all take good care of each other in their newfound friendship, that Yul perhaps gets some brain cells and fixes his life. Connor will be okay after recovery and you…

I wish I didn't feel for you anymore…but I shall, I shall until my last breath and final heartbeat.’

‘Showtime! I am taking home the gold! Nothing and no one will stand in my way! I've sacrificed enough!  I've sacrificed it all! I will win even if it kills me!

Gold does not rot.’

After everything. The fucking pre merge with Yul, the chaotic merge where she and…Alec were the main targets, Connor coming back to keep her from victory AGAIN, losing her ride or die, making finale for a second time, she was about to lose the entire thing because of fucking squeaker tools!

Absolutely not! Riya would win this damn season even if it killed her!

“Ugh, we have like, three? That's not enough!” Yul complained.

It wouldn't ever be! If they kept digging like this not only would their hands get mangled but they'd take longer than the other two.

‘Damn them and this stupid disadvantage!’

Riya looked around the vicinity, one of the caverns had a wire fence covering it and signs that pointed to danger from ‘giant scorpions’

‘Fuckin biological anomalies…’ Riya thought. From here she could see sparkling jewels over the soil behind the fence. They just had to take them. Right? Easy win! An easy win that should've been hers the first time around!

Riya noticed a small space between the roof of the caverns and the fence. It was enough for her and Yul to climb through.

“What are you doing?”

“We need gems. You want us to end in 3rd?! Let's just grab them and go!”

“You gotta be high or something if you think I'm going to do this!”

She was so tired. Riya was grateful for the helmet, otherwise she might’ve pulled out all her hair.

“For fuck's sake Yul! We don't have time! Don't you want your part of the bounty?! Don't you want to shut everyone up?! Because I need them to finally be quiet! Please…Just help me win.”

His gaze softened at her and he sighed. “You owe me for this, curry girl.”

“Fine fine, I swear I'll pay up, korean barbecue!” She fired back.

Yul opened his mouth to respond but closed it and shrugged as he followed her. Riya climbed the wire chain link fence and squeezed through the opening. Yul followed and they quickly began picking up the gems.

“There, we each have ten. Let's go!” Yul said.

Riya lingered for a moment glancing at the cave and at the fence. ‘Hmmm, maybe I can guarantee victory right here and now.’ She mused with a wicked grin. No one else could win if she was the only contestant able to compete, right?

Yul noticed her lingering. “Riya, let's leave!”

“...What if we got the scorpions to cause chaos? It would guarantee our victory!” She posed the idea to him.

Yul was surprised by her suggestion but also considered it for a brief moment. Ultimately he declined. “It's too risky we shou-”

The words died in his mouth as the sound of the giant arachnids approached and sent them running. For such big creatures they were fast and agile.

Climbing would take too long and the scorpions could catch up. Riya grabbed the dancer's hand and rushed through the cave with him.

“Do you know where we're going?!” Yul asked.

“No idea!” She admitted, only following the path in front of her as they ran aimlessly. This was the only path so naturally it led to a way out.

“It's a dead end. It's a cliff!” Riya said, frustrated. 

“Fuck! Let's go back…”

The words died in Yul's mouth as the pair turned around to see three scorpions blocking their way back.

“Shhhh…stay quiet…”  She whispered. 

The critters moved forward, just a little as if to smell them. Riya and Yul remained still, but as fate would have it, their little advantage had to fuck everything up.

The squeaky tools they'd been given were not secured when they gave up on their original plan and thus they fell to ground as the pair slowly backed away from scorpions.

The resulting squeak made the scorpions angry and a giant pincer was going to grip Yul. 

“Move!” She roared and pushed him out of the way.

Yul was spared that grip but another scorpion smacked him away onto one of the cavern's walls.

Riya didn't have time to help with that, as she was now in attack range. She took off her backpack and tried to use it as a shield, but it did little to protect her. 

She glanced at Yul again and breathed out a sigh of relief as she saw him slowly try to stand. It was just that, a glance between two bitter enemies that for now at least were allied, but she smiled all the same, he was okay. 

Yul smiled too but it only lasted a moment. “Look out!” He called out.

The third scorpion caught her off guard with a pincer smack and sent her sliding through the coarse sand and to the edge of the cliff. Miraculously she managed to hold on, but the shaky ground wasn't going to hold her forever.

“Help me!” She cried out completely terrified, as the ground seemed to dissolve under her nails. ‘I can't fall. I can't fall. I can't. I can't!’

She could see Yul trying to reach her but getting pushed to the ground and pinned by a scorpion's heavy leg. 

Still, he reached for her. Stretching his arm and hoping that was enough. Riya tried to reach him too but it was too late.

The cliff crumbled under her grasp and she was falling, the last thing she heard before that was Yul screaming out her name.

She screamed for a few seconds until impact. The pain almost knocked her out instantly. Was that a crack? She couldn't tell…She couldn't move.

‘My head hurts…’ She thought but couldn't mutter. Her voice was gone, was it the scream or was she unable to speak? Fuck, her mouth tasted like iron.

No, no by Kaali no! Was she bleeding?! Was this a concussion?! She was blacking out and everything seemed to hurt. ‘I want to go home…’ That was her last thought as she blacked out.

Alec was frozen in place. He'd heard Gabby scream before Ellie covered her eyes and shut her own. Grett was frozen too, looking absolutely mortified as well. There was no one else cheering for Riya…

He nearly screamed out her name, as if she could hear him, as if that could change things, as if he hadn't sent her down that path. ‘No this…this wasn't what I wanted! She…she has to be okay!’

Alec thought he'd crumble to pieces until Kristal spoke.

“Marcus will go find them. Ally and Fiore are rushing to the finish with Jake and James close behind.”

Oh. So they were fine? Unless she lied, but doing so could get her in trouble. Kristal was no fool.

Alec felt Hunter put a hand on his shoulder. “C'mon, they'll find them. We gotta go get the girls.”

Right. Fiore at the very least was safe and he was confident that Allyson could win the game. ‘If she does…Fiore will be cared for. Grett is fine, so is Gabby and Ellie. Yes, after this I can go…’

They waited by the finish line and hugged the girls as they arrived. Fiore was ecstatic and jumped with joy.

“Did you see me? We won! We’re gonna win!” She cheered. 

“You did great! I am so proud!” Alec said as he picked her up in a loving hug.

The joy however was short lived, for after the final two was decided, Marcus and the staff brought out two gurneys. Yul was upon one, bruised and being sedated, deadly silent as he never would be under normal circumstances. 'He was screaming before...'

But Riya? She wasn't even conscious. There was blood on her skin, prominent bruises, and her legs. They…were broken? What…What happened to her?! This wasn't Riya! She…Alec felt as if he'd faint.

“What happened to her?” Fiore asked in a scared and worried voice.

“Seems like she finally got a taste of her own medicine.”

Alec was startled by Connor's voice. The older man had come along to congratulate Jake and Ally on becoming the final two as he had hoped they would.

Well, they did, but at what cost?

Once everyone had returned to camp and preparations for the finale were made, Alec took the chance to go visit her.

“She might lash out.” Connor warned.

‘I deserve it.’ He thought, but Alec remained calm. “I just…wanted to see how she's doing.”

“Then I'll go with you, you might need back-up if she gets out of hand.”

Did he? Or was Connor curious too? What damage could Riya even do in her state?! He didn't question it. The pair left and headed for the medical tent.

Even before they could come in Alec could see she was not in a good state. Broken legs, bruises and likely a concussion awaited the woman upon waking.

Yul however looked a little better after getting aid, and a lot more pissed off.

“You! Keep the hell away before I fucking kill you!” Yul roared as he stood up and walked towards them.

“Calm down Yul, we just wanna know how she is doing.” Connor said. 

“Bullshit! You think I don't know of your little plan with the gremlin?! You're the reason we nearly turned into scorpion shit!” Yul yelled.“You wanted her to lose, she did, fuck off!” 

He then turned toward Alec. He'd never seen the Kpop idol look so angry and so…disappointed?

"And you, you said you were on our side! You stayed loyal to me but not to your girlfriend?! Now that's cold, you fuckin nerd!”

Girlfriend?! How- Wha- He wasn't even here when they were exposed! How'd he know? Had Alec been that obvious?

“What?! Riya isn't-” He tried to deny it.

Connor got between them both. “Your little alliance is over, Yul. I don't know why you of all people would expect loyalty! We're not here to fight you! So calm down.”

That ill fated alliance…He was going to wonder what would've happened if they reached the end together. Could he have done like in season 1 and considered splitting the prize? ‘That would've been the happiest end’ He mused.

“I don't expect your loyalty geezer! Not when you claim to be oh so good and loving yet been dreaming of this moment.” Yul muttered. “I expected loyalty from the know-it-all who said her name in his sleep like a prayer.”

Alec’s eyes widened and he didn't have a response. He didn't think he spoke in his sleep and that anyone, much less Yul, could tell that Riya still had a small hold in his heart for better or worse.

“Stop being a prick Yul! We just wanna check on Riya.” Connor said, entirely ignoring the issue. Good. Good, don't say anything, please.

“Don't lie to a liar, gramps. You'll never fool me. I know you're here to flaunt your ‘victory’, it's the only achievement you got to your name.

You want an update so bad? Fine! She's alive that's all I'll tell you, and if you try to get into that tent and make things worse I'll do more than just break bones!” 

He then stomped away and the pair didn't follow. Alec was surprised that such a scrawny loud mouth could have it in him to be this callous. Perhaps if Yul had applied himself he would've done better on the competition. He certainly had a spark to him. But the game…the game was about to end. What did it matter anymore?

They silently returned to the benches before the match began. A few minutes later he saw Yul return and cheer for Ally then…then Riya was wheeled in by Marcus.

He made a point not to stare, to not feel guilty for something that wasn't even in his control, to no avail.

He'd been right before, this wasn't Riya. He was looking at a stranger, one with a darkened gaze and no fire. Alec wanted to say something. Would it be too bad if he checked on her? No. She didn't want that.

From the corner of his eyes he saw it. Yul reaching out to her with his pinkie and Riya glancing at him and taking the offer. Neither spoke and just focused on the match with their fingers intertwined.

‘No you idiot, you can't be jealous about this! You did this! You wanted her to fall, you got your wish…It's too late to wish for a better end.

“Introverts unite.” Napayshni joked as he joined him in the backyard.

Alec was startled by the older man. He'd been thinking back on his time on the show and how much things had changed since then.

The older actor had thrown a small party at his home to celebrate his family coming to visit, and that included inviting everyone of the Çelik household and some other friends. Dinner and some conversation he could handle but after an hour Alec preferred the quiet.

“Introvert indeed. It's lovely to see you have such a big family but I dread to think of what it was like to plan family reunions.”

Napayshni sighed. “It was easy at the start. Five kids plus me and Hanska. Then the kids grew up and had kids and then the grandkids had kids. We had a great great grandson before Hanska passed, she said she wanted this one to be wild like her. Well, kiddo is still tiny but I think he's an adorable hurricane.”

That made him smile. The idea of so many generations remaining happy and close together and being able to see them all through…

“I must admit I am a little jealous. It's sweet to see how close you are with them and also being here for so many generations. What your secret?”

Napayshni thought for a moment. “I'm not sure. Maybe it's spite, they wanted to wipe us out so me and my missus chose to stay here for as long as possible. Sometimes I think its the fact that I eat veggies as if they were treats, or maybe I just really love my life…I'm not sure.

But regardless I implore you to stay here a long time, kiddo. I was worried when Riya texted. If the doctor cleared ya then we are good but do take care.”

They'd only known each other for a couple of months but Alec really appreciated the concern. “Thanks, but don't worry. I don't intend to leave anytime soon.” 

Alec didn't think he'd ever speak those words again.

“Seriously Sergio, I don't know how you can turn milk into a hazardous bio weapon!” Riya jokingly teased as she was done changing the baby and put him back in the carrier.

The baby giggled, then yawned, stretching his tiny limbs.

“Hmmm, guess you want to nap instead of answering me. Okay.”

She found a quiet room to lovingly cradle him to sleep. Ironically, it was a library. ‘Napayshni and Alec get along so well because they're bookworms.’ She thought. 

Riya wheeled herself to a nice sofa, getting Sergio out of the carrier and carrying him instead, as she glanced at a pretty portrait on the wall.

It was seemingly old, perhaps from the 40's or 50's. She could see a young smiling Napayshni with his arms wrapped around the waist of his wife. She too had two long beautiful braids, a radiant smile, and shiny light brown eyes that glimmered like stars. The pair of them had been actors during the golden age and while Riya lived for cheesy Bollywood musicals she adored seeing them both in old Hollywood films.

“Hanska Howell, the woman you are. Pity I couldn't meet you.” She said, looking at the portrait.

She glanced at the door as Alec and Napayshni entered. “Oh? I thought you were the extrovert of the group, dear.” Napayshni said.

“I am. Just figured I'd give Porscha and Sergei a break from the squishy. They haven't been able to party for two months and I really can't dance just yet.”

“I figured. We just needed a break too. Plus I am lending Alec some books.”

“Thank you, by the way. I hope it's not a bother.”

“Not at all, I love sharing my knowledge.”

Napayshni noticed her staring sweetly at the portrait. “I take it you are a fan of Hanska too, right?”

“Yeah. I lost count of how many times I watched The Siren.” Riya said. “Seeing a lead woman who wasn't the typical pale blonde with blue eyes, it was surreal. More so when she played the role of powerful villianess.”

Napayshni chuckled. “I should've known, you two are a lot alike. She would've loved to meet you.”

“Really?”

“I am certain of it.”

She smiled, noticing Alec was staring at the portrait too. “I find it to be quite a story. Two Lakota actors that made it in golden age Hollywood and were childhood friends. You survived the worst only to make it big together against all odds and then raise a big loving family.”

“Ah, it certainly was a bumpy road. Once we were finally out of those hellish residential schools we made a pact; ‘Nobody will ever make us bend the knee again.’ 

Trying to make it as actors at a time when our people were treated as lesser at best and monsters at worst was certainly a feat that took a lot of guts. I don't think I would've gotten as far as I did without Hanska by my side, she was the strong one in this union.” Napayshni said as his voice broke.

Riya took the man's hand and Alec placed a hand on his back. “That is certainly relatable.” Alec said as he lovingly glanced at her. Riya felt her face heat up.

“You two are reminiscent of us back then. I'm certain that despite the abundant differences you can both relate to the struggles of making it big as a minority and of course of dealing with adversity beside your life partner.”

She winced. “All too well, every day I worry that they'll cast me out for someone younger, someone who fits their beauty standards, or their ideal of what a woman should be.”

Alec sighed. “Unlike the two of you I don't work in acting, but the literature world isn't all that progressive either. I remember getting passed over by many of my fully English peers at college for poetry and writing competitions.  It eventually disheartened me enough to stop submitting entries.

Things like that are likely why I always saw less and less books at the bookshop written by authors of color. A tragedy, given the ones I've read are certainly good. Seems like it's a curse that strikes across all fields.”

“I know things nowadays aren’t as dire as when we were in the spotlight. Society has made a lot of progress in the past few decades. But I have not forgotten that said progress wasn't given, it was fought for kicking and screaming. We must always be vigilant, the fight for equality is never over.

‘Meet me in the middle' says the unfair man, you take a step forward and he steps back. ‘Meet me in the middle’ he repeats, until you're fully on his side and give up everything for a middle ground that was never to materialize.”

She knew that all too well, because once she'd been asked to meet an unfair man ‘in the middle’ and by that he meant she'd sacrifice it all for his ideal outcome.

“There's something I'd like to ask, actually related to this. Why'd Hanska retire earlier than most actresses? Was it Hollywood driving her out, or something else?” Riya asked. 

“Partially. I cannot say for certain as I don't speak for her, but they were harsher with my wife than with me. The world is always far harsher to women and you more than me know so. Hollywood's no exception, expecting youth, thinness, and a ‘sweet’ disposition from every lady they employed, particularly women of color. Hanska was always strong and defiant but back in the 40's…yeah even she must've had her moments of doubt.

Once she had our third son she told me she'd retire and I was fully supportive but slightly puzzled. She could keep going, she was still young, talented, and driven but my beloved merely smiled and said; ‘I've done all I can. We won't move forward for a while and by the time we do I won't have the same energy the new generation has. So I'll let them fight the good fight from now on. I am going home with our boys and teaching them how to keep the fire going.’

She lived by those words afterward and who was I to deny my moon anything?”

So that was it. Knowing when to quit. She could learn a thing or two about that but…Riya knew that was a lesson she might never fully take to. 

“You know, they are casting actors for a modern remake of ‘The Siren.’ Shooting begins next summer so you'd be out of recovery by then. I say you should audition for the lead.” Napayshni suggested.

She gasped. “M-me?! But I could never! The mere idea of a remake to such a perfect fil-”

“Riya, the original movie won't disappear just because there's a remake made. If anything I say it's an opportunity to improve and modernize it. And…if Hanska was going to pass over her most iconic role it would've been to a woman like you.”

Riya nearly cried upon hearing that. She glanced at Alec who smiled at her. “You'd do wonders as a powerful siren.”

‘Of course he'd want to see that.’ She mused. “Then…I shall consider it.”

“The rumors are true. I got the call this morning. I am not sure how it'll go or what even pushed him to make such a decision but I am very happy about it. It's about time I pull my weight around here.” Alec talked on his cell as he slowly made his way to the backyard, everyone was having a nice day at the pool.

“You don't have much weight to pull, Alec.” Yul said on the other side of the line. “It's good Julian hired you as a writer but you're supposed to be in rehab and taking it easy, not getting deadlines.”

“Not the main writer of the crew, I am merely helping and editing…I know I am in rehab but I can't let Riya handle it all. Fiore wants to start streaming too.”

“Really?” Yul asked, probably coming up with a wicked scheme.

“You're not leaving hate comments on my daughter's streams!”

“I'm joking! The little gremlin would ban me in two seconds! Besides she's got attitude like her mama! I am not suicidal!”

That did get him to chuckle. “That's true.”

“Haven't heard you laugh like that in…fuck, never. No wait, maybe when you and Riya were throwing me around.”

He laughed again. “Sorry sorry. It was funny to hear you screech. Plus you were being an ass to Grett!”

“Yeah yeah, I…wrote to her. We'll see how that goes. That being said, it's good to hear you're happy you insufferable nerd. Take care of yourself, Riya was about to have a heart attack when we saw you go down.”

He smiled. “I intend to take care. Thanks Yul. I hope you're well and happy too.”

“Baby steps on that. For now there are other people I should call.”

“Understood. Don't get too sparkly eyed over James, he's got a boyfriend you know! Then again, you and Aiden also had tension in season two.”

“Alec what the fu-”

He hung up with a devious laugh as he reached his destination. Fiore, Porscha, and Sergio were all in the pool. His daughter gently held the baby's hands as he floated in a tiny life ring.

Porscha supervised them in the water while Sergei supervised them from outside of the water. Reynold napped on a lounge chair and Fabio was doing Riya's hair up before she got in the pool.

The bun was cute but so reminiscent of the one she had when…No, no thinking of that. He had to look toward the future. Just a glance at the chaotic group was enough to remind him that maybe he deserved to be happy too.

His cell rang again and he picked it up thinking it was Yul.

“Yul, if you're calling to deny acusa- Mother? What's wrong, why are you crying? What?!” 

His loud voice made the others turn to look at him.

“No! You…you're certain? I…need to get on a plane as soon as possible. I'll see you there.”

He let the device slip from his hand and onto the lounge chair as he turned away and tried to hide tears.

Sergei had rushed to his side. “What's wrong?”

“I need to go see my son…He's going to need me right now.” He said, not wanting to voice the reason.

Still, no one argued with him because one look in his eyes left it all clear.

Put me to sleep, evil angel.
Open your wings, evil angel.
Fly over me, evil angel.
Why can't I breathe, evil angel?

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: There's no time for us…There's no place for us…

There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us…

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Who dares to love forever?

Even without alcohol numbing his perception, Alec's memory was blurred. He didn't remember the long flight or anything afterward other than getting to his home. All he knew was that his wife and daughter held onto him the entire journey, it was the only thing that kept him from falling apart. 

Catherine opened the door as he wheeled Riya in and Fiore followed. Demir hugged him upon seeing him, it was clear the older man had been weeping as well.

“Dad, what happened?!” He finally asked in a broken voice.

“I'm sorry. It was just…it was so sudden and we knew you'd be the first one he'd want here.

Cheryll, Edward, and Daniel all had all come for a weekend visit and everything was fine when they left. From what Daniel tells me halfway home Cheryll's water broke, and they rushed to the hospital. Then…There was a crash.”

He winced already knowing where the conclusion was leading. Still, Alec remained silent as his father resumed.

“Edward was killed on impact. Cheryll and Daniel were rushed to the hospital but…but Cheryll didn't survive the delivery and unfortunately neither did the baby. Daniel was the sole survivor.”

The mirror he so badly wanted to avoid for his children was now materializing for him. Unlike his own situation this wasn't the fault of an illness but of tragic coincidence, and Daniel hadn't just lost his mother, he lost his stepfather and sibling too. It was a greater loss than his and for a child so emotional and loving…Alec knew exactly what the little one was going through.

“How is he?”

“He managed to sleep and ate what we gave him. He's in your old room with our other guests.”

“Other guests?”

“Let's just say you have good friends from the show looking out for you.”

Oh. He had a feeling of who was here then.

“Good. Is Daniel injured? Physically I mean.”

Catherine sighed. “He bumped his head in the accident and has a scraped knee. That's all.”

“I refrained from saying anything before but you should know he's not allowed to attend the funeral. Cheryll's family has barred us all from attending.” Demir told them.

“What?!” Everyone said in unison. 

“But…that's her son! You two might not be her in-laws anymore but for fucks sake! She was fond of you!” Riya erupted in anger.

“I'm afraid that matters little to them. We had to ask Libithina to recover Daniel's belongings from the house and Mrs. Williams was able to perform the funds transfer of the money for his trust and inheritance. The rest was for Cheryll’s family.”

Greedy, fucking greedy bastards that treated him like shit all through his marriage to Cheryll were now passing the hate onto his son. It made his blood boil. 

He could take any harsh words, thinly veiled insults, and even favoritism, but he couldn't take the pain they caused Daniel. Even after Cheryll's passing their hearts didn't soften. ‘I should've known.’

“I'm going to go see him.” He said. Alec then bent down to speak with Fiore and Riya. “When he feels better I'll call you up to meet him.”

“Take your time. He needs you. We'll be here.” Riya said.

Alec took a breath and got ready to see his son again after two years of zero physical contact.

He knocked on the door softly and then opened it. As expected Grett and Yul were with Daniel. The former influencer was hugging him and Yul had been talking to them for a while until they both fell silent and saw Alec.

Daniel raised his eyes to meet his. The same dull hazel look lingered there for a moment, but in an instant the dullness turned bright as always and a loving smile materialized on the child's face.

“Daddy!” Daniel cried out as he rushed to hug him. 

Alec kneeled down and instantly squeezed him tightly. His son wept as he clung to him. “Daddy, I missed you! I…Mama and Papa Edward, my sister they- “ He said incoherently as he cried and clung to him.

“It's okay baby. Daddy is here. I am here. It's okay.” He comforted him.

“Took ya long enough. Boy was begging for ya to show up not even my incredible stardom powers were able to provide comfort!” Yul said arrogantly.

Grett rolled her eyes. “We both know that is not even remotely true.”

“Did the boy not know me? I am still magnificent!” Yul said.

“Debatable.” Grett said.

Daniel chuckled and pulled away, looking at the pair. “Your friends kept me company. They're really funny.” He said.

“They are. They're also really good friends. I wasn't expecting you all to show up. I just mentioned it to Yul when he called me back and I couldn't answer.”

“Yeah…turns out someone was here to pick up things from his London residence and sell them when you told him. So he drove like a maniac to Liverpool and banged on my door till I came out to cuss him out.” Grett explained.

“You were ready to chew me out for sending a letter and then demanding an answer so fast until I told you what happened. 

The second I did, Grett and I made the drive back and even beat you guys here by a few hours.” Yul said proudly.

“That's awfully kind from you both. Thank you.”

Grett placed a hand on his shoulder. “Anytime. We're gonna go help Catherine with the food. You two talk for a bit.”

Before walking out she grabbed Yul by the ear and dragged him along. “Ouch! Slow down, I've done nothing today!”

“Exactly so you're gonna help us cook!”

“Fine! Fine!”

He chuckled as he saw them leave. ‘Maybe in time they'll be able to bury the hatchet…’ 

Alec sat down on the bed still holding Daniel. He seemed calm and slightly happier now that Alec was here, but his eyes still had tears.

“How are you? Are you hurt anywhere? Do you want me to get you food? Do you need me to help you sleep?”

The child shook his head. “No…I just missed you so much. You look different, dad.”

Ah, that. If even Daniel could see it he'd really let himself go. But this wasn't about him. This was about his boy.

“It was a rough couple of years…” He said with a smile that masked the gravitas of his former life. 

Alec looked at his son, he hadn't had the chance to really take in how much the boy had grown. His curls were longer, his eyes still big and expressive, he was a little taller and soccer had kept the boy in an athletic shape. He looked very well cared for, as expected. However his joyful aura had nearly vanished.

“You look different too, you've grown up.”

“Really?” That lifted the boy's spirits. 

“Yes. I am sorry I wasn't here to see it.” Alec apologized.

Daniel smiled at him. “It's okay…You’re here now.”

She disliked being unable to pace around the room. Riya's worry subsided in the sense that they now knew Daniel was safe and that at the very least his grandparents had cared for him until they could arrive to help. But there was still a choice to be made and she'd have to discuss it with Alec.

“Almost done with the food. Grett, Yul, and Fiore have all started bickering.” Catherine said as she stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

“Sorry about that. Do you need me to yell at them?”

“Oh not at all, it's kinda funny being a witness to the madness. Much better than the show itself.”

“You watched the third season?” She asked, a little scared.

Catherine noticed her change in demeanor and gently got close, sitting on the sofa beside her. “I did. I had only seen Alec's for obvious reasons but I grew curious. Demir has yet to do so. But do not worry, even if he did it wouldn't change his opinion of you.

Mine certainly didn't change.”

Riya breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that. Losing another mother's approval would've broken her. “I am glad to hear that. Still, I'm concerned about…well everything really and it all ties down to that season.”

Catherine nodded. “Talk to me.”

“I was horrid back then, and while I'm working to be better I am scared that in time I have to take from the mask in order to survive everything that's befalling us.

How do I make sure that my actions don't affect the kids? Fiore is strong and confident and I adore her much but she's still a child, an innocent child that deserves all the love in the world and I am terrified of hurting her again.

And Daniel. This poor boy had to see his parents' marriage crumble, he spent two years away from Alec but he had his mom and stepfather, he eagerly awaited a sibling and finally it seemed like his parents were amicably co-parenting but in an instant it was all ripped away from him! How can I help him with that?! He's so little and lost his mama. No kid should go through that, it's not fair!”

Riya felt tears falling and couldn't stop them, nor could she steady her voice again. 

“I didn't know Cheryll. We never spoke, and to be honest I think we both mutually disliked the other. I disagreed with her actions after the divorce and she was not fond of me before or after All-Stars. Yet despite that, in Daniel's last letter he said she would be happy to let him spend part of winter break with us. This woman trusted me to make her child happy…She knew that he wasn't my blood, or my responsibility, but that despite all my wrongs I would care for him well…

And now she's dead! She, a good mom who loved her kids and husband, who gave Alec a second chance, who thought she was finally getting what she wanted! I don't understand! I don't know what to do…”

Catherine gently held her in a hug as she cried. “It's okay honey, let it out.” She advised. “I can understand why you're concerned. I felt the same way with Alec and Demir.”

“Really?” 

“Yes. I was so scared of not doing well by the sweet child. Alec was always calm, studious, and well-behaved, yet a part of me was scared he'd hate me. I mean, how could I compare to his beloved mother? That woman didn't deserve this fate either. But with time he came to love me, as I love him and…I'm immensely proud of the man he's become.

It's natural to be scared, to fear preference or anger or even hate but just know that you're the adult, they need you, and if you show them you care and love them, then in time you'll get that love and care in return. It's just a matter of patience and kindness.”

“For what it's worth, I think you're both pretty great moms.” 

They heard Fiore's voice from the doorway. The little one quickly walked over to them and Catherine picked her up, placing her on Riya's lap but still holding her hand.

“You mean it?” Riya asked.

“Yeah! You made sure I had my own room with things I love, you take care of me, you listen and you give me affection and sweets and I wake up safe and happy everyday. I hadn't known that before you took me in.

Daniel's situation is different but at least on my end. I have no complaints. I'm very happy with you, mom.”

Riya held her tightly in a hug. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Catherine smiled sweetly at the scene before Riya pulled her into the hug. She happily joined them.

“Now that you mention it, what will we do with Daniel? Cheryll's family are clearly not taking custody, does it automatically fall to Alec and I? Would it fall to you?”

“I think we can choose. Either we take him in or Alec and you do so.”

So there were options. She thought it'd be best to discuss this with everyone but regardless of the choice made, she knew she'd do whatever she could to care well for that boy.

“Hey Fiore, what do you think?”

“Hmmm me?”

“Yes. Would you be okay if Daniel chooses to come with us?”

“I uh…I'm fine with it. He needs Alec now more than ever and I would love to have a sibling but why are you asking me? Isn't this an adult matter?”

She raised an eyebrow. “It's a family matter and so you have a say too.”

The little girl seemed surprised but happy. “Like I said. You're a great mom.”

Maybe she could do this well after all…

He'd let Daniel ramble on about everything. How it happened, how he was knocked out on impact and woke up with only Demir and Catherine weeping over him. How Demir had to explain everything to him and Daniel cried in denial until they had to discharge him. How he wasn't allowed to go back to his old house and his father's friends had to take everything they could over video chat.

“Mrs. Libby stole mama's jewelry box. She took many things that belonged to her and Papa Edward. I know stealing is wrong but I just wanted a few tokens.”

“That's not stealing Daniel, those things are yours. You're their son and you deserve to keep sentimental mementos. I know it's what they would've both wanted.”

The child nodded. “Okay…Thanks dad.”

“Anytime buddy.”

There was a soft knock on the door. Riya peeked in along with Fiore. “Hello! Can we come in?”

Alec looked to his son, who nodded. 

Riya wheeled herself in with Fiore walking by her side. “Hi Daniel. My name's Riya, I'm your father's wife. This is Fiore, she's your sister.”

“Hello. Nice to meet you.” He said with a voice still strained but happy to see them.

“Nice to meet you too. I'm sorry about your mom and stepfather. They were good people. I know we just met, but know that you count on me for anything.”

“Grandma finished lunch. I was hoping we could all eat together and then talk.”. Fiore said.

Daniel seemed receptive. “Okay.” 

It was adorable to see his daughter offer her hand and for his son to take it and walk out of the room with her. He had been afraid a reunion between those two would be chaotic but for now things seemed to be going well.

“He's very polite, and he looks a lot like you.” Riya said lovingly.

Alec smiled. “He always wrote back saying he was excited to meet you. His face lit upon seeing you both.”

“Like I said, he's like you.” 

That got him flustered again. “Then I suppose it's the Çelik genes.” 

“Maybe.” She mused before placing her hand upon his “Alec, how are you?”

“Hm?”

“I know that Daniel is the one grieving most, but it's clear you're hurting too. It's okay if you need to let it out.”

He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at her. Riya had seen him cry many times before, she'd known that there was once a time where he desperately wanted to cling to the past, still he felt ashamed to say such things to the woman he now loved, even if she understood.

“This…it's almost exactly a scenario pulled from my nightmares.” Alec confessed. “One of the reasons I didn't want to have children was because I knew! I knew exactly what this pain felt like! I knew how much it hurt to lose a mother, and to be left with a father who's grieving!

The circumstances are different. I don't love Cheryll anymore and yet this all feels like a stab to the heart! My father couldn't care for me because he was too depressed and heartbroken but I don't have that heartache. Instead I am a walking mess that wasn't a good father the first time around but sadly I'm all Daniel has left! 

It's so frustrating! Why now?! Why them?! Cheryll was a nice woman, she was living the life she wanted, she was a great mom! Her husband was the good father Daniel always deserved! Why is that when we're finally able to co-parent amicably this happens?! Feels like it was my fault, like I am one of those evil presences that Porscha keeps away with her candles…Or maybe fate just loves to fuck me over! 

Everytime I feel like things can get better something else falls apart. If it was just me it'd be fine but this time it's hurting my boy…and I have no idea how to fix it.”

He felt Riya pulling herself up to sit on the bed and then softly grab his face in her hands. Her eyes were glassy and she pressed their foreheads together. He wasn't going to ever tire of that cute gesture. 

“Alec this isn't your fault. Things like this happen all the time, fate is often unkind and we must make the most of it. I do not know Cheryll but from what I've been told of her, she'd probably want her little boy to be happy and safe above all.

This situation is similar to what you went through but not equivalent. You can make a better choice.”

“I don't want him to go through the pain I did, but am I better for him than that? He wouldn't be at boarding school; he'd be here with his beloved grandparents. Still, I don't want him to feel as if I've abandoned him again.”

“Then we can talk to him. Let the boy decide where he wants to be.

If he chooses to come along then know you wouldn't be on your own. You have me, you have the group, you have Fiore, we would all be happy to help you and Daniel adjust.”

“Are you certain? This is rather abrupt and you've already got so much on your plate. I really don't want to drag you down.”

“You could never and neither could Daniel. What kind of a wife would I be if I left my husband and stepson adrift during a tragedy?”

He chuckled. That last sentence echoed in his mind, for it was sweet and playful yet poignant. His wife, Riya was his wife and she was Daniel's stepmother. 

Things weren't supposed to spiral like this, it was all a facade, a game, a funny mishap of the ever cruel fate. And yet…Here she was giving him what he's desperately craved from years before. 

Alec kissed her forehead “Thank you, Riya. You truly are a light in the dark.”

At this she was flustered. “No problem. Just looking out for you.”

She was. More than she'd know or care to admit. Alec knew he hadn't done it right the first time around, but he planned to do everything well with his second opportunity, even if it came from an agreement and an act at its start.

“Let's go have lunch, we can talk more later.”

“As you wish.”

Eating lunch with Yul and Greet was noisy. Quite noisy. The pair were no longer a couple, far from it, but they sure as hell bickered more than one. 

Fiore hadn't liked the loudmouth, crass, and mean dancer, but despite still having the same shrill voice and snarky attitude he was far calmer. He wasn't making those gross comments anymore and despite bickering with Grett he was gentle now, taking ingredients as offered and serving her and Daniel before getting his plate.

‘Fear of death really declaws us.’ She thought. It wasn't as if she could say she was the same person she'd been two years ago. Yul probably remained shaken from the finale, she knew Riya still was.

Grett looked happier too. She smiled more, there was bounce in her step, and confidence in her tone. Fiore missed that about the pretty brunette. She ruffled both Fiore and Daniel's hair before taking a seat across from them. 

Soon after her parents came to join them, as expected they both were downcast yet hiding it. Fiore herself wasn't sure how to feel. She didn't know any of these people personally, Cheryll she'd only seen in pictures and sometimes thought about as she regretted her actions during the first season. A part of her could understand it all, why she was tired, angry, and left without a word. Fiore too had been disappointed in Alec for a while, it was understandable. Yet another part of her wanted to rage at the woman, because unlike Leo and Sabine who pretended she was nothing, Alec at the very least made the effort for them. As for Edward he was just her brother's stepdad and in a way ‘Alec's replacement’ maybe he was a good man, maybe he wasn't, it was not something she thought about. 

But now that they were gone and the sibling she had was torn up about it Fiore would try to spare the child the pain. Daniel seemed to like talking to her. He talked about the places they'd lived on, asked her about Italy, the show and the things she liked after she had listened to him do the same. He was a normal kid, saddened by a tragedy yet carefree and sweet. It made her jealous but not in a rageful manner, she just wished she could be more effortlessly endearing.

The meal was nice, chatter around, sadness present yet not all consuming, but sadly afterward Grett and Yul would be leaving. 

“Gotta drive Gretchen back to Liverpool before I leave, plus you all need some family time.” Yul said as he readied to leave, spinning his keys around. 

“I can get an Uber, you know.” Grett said with her arms crossed.

“Yeah well that'd cost ya an arm and a leg for a four hour drive. I can dragged ya here I can take you back.”

“Because four hours with you and your old tunes isn't paying.” Grett muttered.

“I have an angelic voice.”

“Um honey, maybe you're better dancer than a singer.” Catherine said nicely. Fiore had to bite back a laugh.

“See, mama gets it.” Grett said before hugging the older woman. “Thanks for having us. Call if you need anything.”

“I shall. Thank you for being here for us. I appreciate it.” She said as she returned the hug. 

She then hugged Yul too who was surprised but seemed appreciative. 

“Behave you two. You have my number if you ever wanna talk. I'm here for you both. Don't give the nerd and diva a headache.” She told them with a sweet hug.

Both she and Daniel clung tightly to her. Grett was a comforting presence, and Fiore was happy to still count on the woman who never gave up on her. 

“Thanks Grett.”

“Thanks for coming to see me, Ms. Clark.” Daniel said.

“Anytime.”

She then hugged Riya, and while neither said anything Fiore could see the mutual affection in that gaze. Those two were more alike than she once thought. 

Grett left to go say her goodbyes to Alec and Demir who were doing the dishes while Yul said goodbye to them. 

Instead of a hug he offered fist bumps. “Be good little gremlins.”

“Says the discount phantom of the opera.” Fiore fired back.

Yul fake gasped. “Moi? You insult my good looks!"

“Are the looks in the room with us?” Riya said.

“Not all of us think nerdy looks are hot.” He said before hugging her.

“No but influencers seem to be your go to. Tell him I say hi, and the little shrimp too.”

“Ugh you tell em, you're all in LA.” Yul said dodging the little jab. Fiore noticed however. ‘That'd be one messy polycule.’ 

She felt Daniel poking her shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Is it okay if we go play? I…don't want to stay in the living room.” Daniel said.

Oh. Oh right, there were pictures of him and his mother here. “Sure.”

They left for Alec's childhood room and she noticed he seemed to calm down here. ‘Like father like son.’ she mused.

“Daniel? Are you okay?”

“I should've been getting a baby sister yesterday…” He said sadly, but then looked at her with a sad smile. “But I'm glad I at least got to meet my little sister.”

Fiore gave him a hug. “I highly doubt I'd make up for the loss of the baby, but I'll try to be a good little sister.”

“You don't have to make up for anything. I already like you.”

Right, many had said so already. Sometimes it was hard to forget love wasn't transactional.

“I'm going to miss you. Thanks for coming and…I'm sorry for everything.” Alec said as he hugged his former alliance buddy.

Grett returned the hug. “Water under the bridge, it was all a game and game's over. Just promise you'll take care of them all, and of yourself.”

“I promise.” Alec said.

“Then I'll see ya in LA sometime. Come to Liverpool whenever!”

“I shall.”

“I'm leaving without you, awful cook!” Yul said from the doorway.

Alec knew Grett was debating whether or not to throw her sandals at him. “Say your goodbyes then, I am waiting in the car.” Grett told him before gazing at Alec and Demir again. “Thank you for having us if you need me. I'm a call away.”

“Thank you for coming, it was great to finally meet ya Grett. You're welcome any time.”

Yeah he could tell that fatherly sweetness meant a lot to her. As she left Yul walked in and gave both a pat on the back. “Thanks for the food and good luck with everything.”

“No problem. Come around whenever Yul. It was nice to meet you, take it easy with travel okay.” Demir said as he patted him on the shoulder. 

“I will, I will.” Yul said. As puzzled as Grett by familiar affection.

“Don't be a stranger. Danny seems to like his screechy uncle, so text often.”

“Of course he'd likes me, your son has good taste.” Yul joked. 

“Debatable.” Alec said teasingly. “Try to survive the drive, I can't be there to hold Grett back.”

“I think I'll survive.”

Good. There was a semblance of peace at least. Once the guests left he continued washing dishes with his father. Alec noticed the man's dark eyes were upon him. 

“Alec…You can cry. I know what it's like, the pain of losing a wife.”

He put the last plate he washed aside. “She wasn't my wife. Not anymore. It's not the same!” Alec shouted, feeling the walls breaking apart the more he tried to keep it down. ‘Not here! In therapy! Just wait it out!’

“That doesn't mean you can't be hurt.”

“No dad I can't. He needs me! Daniel needs me and I can't…”

“You can't do what I did.”

“No! Because you lost one of the loves of your life and couldn't keep yourself alive much less a child! You visited! You cared enough to make an effort! You had to do what you did so we would both survive! You had a reason! I don't!

I have no excuse for drinking myself away and not seeing my boy for two years! I have no excuse to be getting what I want when she and her husband deserved it more! He needed them and what does he have?! Me! I'm…I'm a mess. It's only now that I'm getting better. Daniel deserves the finished product, not a broken work in progress…”

His father hugged him tightly. “Alec, you don't have to be ‘deserving’ of love, much less that of your son!”

“Dad you don't know…You don't know how badly I failed him!”

That red light above him in the truth challenge was going to haunt him forever. He loved Daniel, he did! How dare they think otherwise?! Because of a stupid game that was probably rigged for drama?! Nonsense!

He loved the boy! He did! He hadn't fucking shown it but he did! He wasn't heartless. He was just a fool…

“If you had failed so badly, why is your name the one he called out?”

“What?”

“He was happy Cathy and I picked him up and comforted him, but he was only at peace in your space. He wanted to stay in your old room, he asked to see your pictures, and asked us when you'd come by. He wanted to meet his new family on  ‘dad's side.’ 

Alec, that boy still loves you. He'll always love you. In his eyes whatever wrong you feel you've done has been forgiven. 

Regardless of what you see, of what you think, Daniel wants to be with you. He needs you, as broken as you may still be.”

Alec took a breath. “But is that for the best? You and mom would take so much better care of him.”

“I'd be happy to have custody and keep him happy here, but I believe he wants to be with you.

Ask yourself this…Did you want me to keep you back then? Would you have preferred it if I'd kept you by my side even if my world fell apart?”

“Yes.” He answered without hesitation. “I…I'll let Daniel make the choice.”

“That might be for the best.”

“For the record dad…I don't blame you. I'm glad you were looking out for me.”

Demir smiled. “Thanks kiddo.”

When it was time to sleep he went to his old room alongside Riya, checking on the kids that had been playing since dinner was done.

Fiore was already sleepy but enjoyed her time with her brother. “Um? Is it 10 already?”

"Yes. So c'mon you need to sleep.” Alec said.

Riya picked her up and put her on her lap. “I'll read you something before bed. Do you want anything Daniel?”

“No, thank you.” He said.

“Alright then, have a goodnight sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Riya nodded at him as she left the room with their sleepy daughter.

“Let's get you into your pajamas, sport. Then you can sleep.”

“Okay.”

He noticed that despite having a similar schedule to his sister, Daniel didn't seem sleepy.

“Are you tired?”

“Yes but…I'm not sleepy.”

“Do you want me to read to you? Or maybe we can watch something?”

Daniel shook his head. “It's not that. I-I just miss mama!” He said before bursting into tears. “I don't want to cause trouble but I can't hold it in anymore!” he cried.

Oh heavens above, why did the boy have to be so much like him? It was like a smaller mirror looking back at him and at how the slightest thing oftentimes made him cry a flood. ‘Made? Please, you're still a weepy man, Alec Çelik.’

He gently dried his son's tears. “Danny, dear, you're not causing trouble. It's normal that you miss your mother. It's only been a day! 

I've been through this too and I know that it's a deep pain that never goes away. It only gets easier to carry with time.”

“You still miss granny Helena?"

“Every single day.”

Daniel nodded. “I'm gonna miss mama everyday too!”

“Im sorry Danny, I wish there was something I could say or do to make this all go away but-”

He couldn't finish the sentence as he felt the little one cling to him with a tight hug. “You can hold me.” He muttered softly.

Alec wouldn't dare refuse such a request.

Riya finished tucking Fiore in. There were enough rooms for everyone, but the little one wanted to stay with her. Perhaps she'd grown scared that Riya would pass too? Fiore was a logical kid and knew this wasn't how things were, but at the end of the day she was still a child and children naturally had irrational fears.

She went to check in on Alec and Daniel from the doorway only to find them sleeping in Alec's childhood bed. It was silly to see Alec sound asleep on a kid size bed clinging to his son as the little one slept on his chest. 

She blew them a kiss as she closed the door and went back to her room. Today had been exhausting, both from the flight and the emotional toll.

She laid down on her back and winced slightly. ‘When we get back home I'm not getting on another flight until I can walk again.’ She thought as she closed her eyes.

A thousand thoughts went through her head. This was an unexpected upheaval that certainly changed her plans. 

They had the housing space to provide Daniel with a room, along with the money and time to give the child well-deserved attention and love. 

‘Another kid…Oh he must be having a fucking laugh right now! Jokes on you, this is my choice!’

Daniel was not a newborn and perhaps he'd be wary of her or even dislike her, but today at least he was nothing but a little gentleman. Riya knew the boy would need support now more than ever and if he wanted to come along she wouldn't dare deny his request. Not even if two kids before 35 was something she was certainly not planning for. At least now she didn't have to give up her dreams to properly care for them. 

Gods, this was not how she expected things to go down at all. Falling for Alec, adopting Fiore, losing her most beloved role, slowly recovering from her futile loss in Disventure Camp and getting married, it was whirlwind conjured up by some tragedy loving wizard writing down her story. 

But when Fiore turned in her sleep and cuddled close to her, Riya smiled and hugged back. She wouldn't trade this mess for anything.

The next morning after getting ready for the day she waited for Alec in the living room with Fiore and her in-laws.

“Good morning, sorry I overslept. Danny is still out like a light.” He said.

“That's okay dear. We were hoping we could talk in regards of what to do about Danny.” Catherine said.

“Yeah I was thinking about that. We let him decide.”

“I was thinking that too.” Fiore said. “I'd be happy to have him around either way. I always wanted a sibling.” 

“I'd be happy to have our grandson live here with us if he chooses, but I maintain he'd prefer to be with Alec. I'm certain he'll grow close to Riya and Fiore in no time.”

“I'd be happy to take him in. Daniel is a sweet kid. I was already looking forward to meeting him, just not under such bleak circumstances.”

“Are you certain?” Alec asked. “The home is yours and I'd get it if you want to wait or think it over.”

“I've never been more certain of anything. Daniel is my son too, I want to take good care of him.”

Alec hugged her tightly and Riya blushed.

“Sorry about yesterday. I don't think seeing me cry over an ex is particularly endearing.”

“Alec please! Amicable or not you were married to that woman for more than a decade, of course you're saddened over her passing! Besides I won't lie I would cry if I was told one of my exes passed away.”

“Even Connor?” He asked playfully.

“Don't push it.” Riya told him.

The group all shared a good laugh over that. Soon they heard Daniel drowsyly approaching them. “Good Morning.”

“Morning buddy, how'd you sleep?” Alec asked.

He smiled. “I slept well.”

“Good to hear. Listen, we have a question to ask you and it's important.”

Daniel sat still and nodded. “Okay.”

“We need to know if you'd like to live here in England with grandma and grandpa, or if you want to live with me, Riya, and Fiore in LA.”

Daniel's big hazel eyes widened. “I…I can go with you, Riya and Fiore?! Is- Is that okay? You don't mind?” He asked, looking at her and Fiore hopefully.

She was surprised the child would even think they weren't going to take him along. “Of course! I'd be happy to have you live with us. You can take everything you want and we can decorate your room and enroll you in school for next semester. I was looking forward to having you visit but I'd love to have you live with us too!” She told him.

That earned her a bright smile. Fiore didn't need to say anything, she just nodded with a grin. Daniel turned to Alec who also nodded and hugged him. “I'm your father, and I want you in my life Danny, regardless of what you chose.”

“Then I want to go with you.”

“Oh dear we weren't even considered, should I feel bad?” Demir said sarcastically. 

Still Daniel quickly shook his head and went to hug his grandparents. “No no! I love you and grandma! I just-”

“Relax sport, I'm messing with you.” He said with a laugh.

Riya smiled. So this was it. Her family had a new member, and she couldn't be happier.

‘I didn't know you, and you never knew me either, but wherever you both are, just know this. I will take good care of your baby.’

To his eternal joy and the beginning of his absolution, Daniel had chosen to be with him. Alec didn't expect it, but was delighted regardless.

His parents, Riya, and Fiore were at Amanda's bakery. He'd promised to join them soon, there was something to be done beforehand.

“Dad…is this okay?” Daniel asked as Alec carried him upon his shoulders.

“It is, Danny. You deserve a proper goodbye.”

The pair arrived at the cemetery, and as he expected by midday the funeral had concluded and that pack of pale vipers had left.  

He found the site quickly. Cheryll had reserved it for them before they married. There was once a time he thought they'd be buried side by side. That had been stricken from him before his attempt, where he hoped Demir at least put him to rest elsewhere and now…Now she was buried here by the side of one more beloved, along with their baby. ‘I'm sorry.’ He thought. 

He put Daniel down, and the little boy ran near the wide headstone. kneeling upon the freshly moved soil even if he wore an elegant dark suit.

Alec's eyes went wide upon seeing the names on the cubic slab of stone;

Edward Mayfield  Cheryll Mayfield 
          
 Helena Mayfield
 
  1991 - 2023    2023    1990 - 2023

‘Helena…You really did name your baby girl Helena.’ He thought as tears filled his eyes.

Cheryll loved her family, but she wasn't aligned with their beliefs and with the way they treated others. So back when their doomed marriage was on life support and she spoke of having a little girl, she'd told him she wanted to name the baby after Helena Çelik.

Back then he'd almost caved and agreed to another child, before discarding the fantasy and remembering how unfit he was for such a request. And yet… Cheryll still wanted to have a little Helena. ‘What Mon Cheryll wants. Mon Cheryll gets.’ He said in his head.

“Hi mom! Hi papa Edward! Hi Hela!” Daniel said in a sad chirpy tone. “I came to say goodbye.” He announced.

Daniel began crying again, as Alec placed a loving hand upon his head. “It's okay. Mama wouldn't want you to hold it in.” He said.

Daniel nodded and resumed. “I am going to California! Though this time it's a permanent move instead of a winter holiday. I met Riya, she's very sweet and my sister Fiore is as cool as I thought she'd be. Dad's friends stopped by and promised to keep in touch, apparently dad talked about me to them to, they really liked me!

I already miss you and I wanted us all to be together. I really did…But I'm still here now that you left, and grandpa says I have to be strong and look toward the future. Grandma packed my things and helped me dress up. She thinks I'm very brave like that.

So…so I want you all to know that I'll be okay. I'm gonna be a good boy and keep my grades up! I'll clean my new room! I'm gonna get along with my sister and…and I'll be happy with my family! Even if I'll miss you forever. You don't have to worry about me.

I love you.”

With that all said he kissed the grey marble and stood, Alec kneeled down, opened his arms, and hugged him tightly, getting his own suit dirty yet he didn't care.

“Well said. I know they heard you.” Alec told him. “I'm going to talk to them too, okay.”

Daniel nodded and let go.

Alec stared at the grey stone for a second, taking a breath and choosing to have one final talk with her. If she could hear him.

‘Where do the dead go? Is this enough for us to talk? Will you listen one last time to the undeserving?’

“Mr. Mayfield, I didn't have the pleasure of meeting you. But judging from what my son says, you were an excellent father and you treated him very well. The same can likely be said for you as a husband, and how you made Cheryll happy. Thank you for providing what I couldn't give to them. I hope you find easy rest alongside Cheryll and Helena. 

Helena, I'm sorry you couldn't experience what this world has to offer, for while there is uncertainty and a lot of evil, there's plenty of good to be had as well. May you meet your namesake and have an easy rest alongside your parents.”

He glanced at Cheryll's name on the marble slab. This once had been a deep fear of his, even when he thought he loathed her, even at his worst, he never dared wish for it. 

“Mon Cheryll, I always thought you'd outlive me. You always liked to win…

I've already made apologies for my numerous mistakes and I know you never liked it when I repeated myself so I'll be brief.

I am really sorry for not being the husband you wanted. You certainly deserved better than this end and it will forever hurt to know that you had to miss out on the life you wanted. The life my stubbornness kept you from…I am sorry. We weren't meant to last, for we were too different in too many ways. But regardless of our bitter end and whatever I once said the truth is that I value those years you gave me, more than you know. Thank you for that, dear. I don't regret a thing.

You thought me unfit to be a parent and perhaps that assessment was correct once. Sometimes I have my doubts too, even nowadays. Still, I swear to you upon all I value that I will not waste this second chance. I'll be a great father to our boy. I swear it to you.

Rest easy Cheryll Mayfield Bennett. Thank you, for everything. I'll see you in another life.”

He felt Daniel wrapping his small arms around him. Alec hugged him too and for a minute they cried together, before he heard a familiar yet detested voice.

‘I never believed mothers-in-law were evil...Until I met that fucking bitch!'

Cheryll's mother was yelling at them from a distance, and since now he had zero obligation to deal with that old crone and the rest of the piranhas that called themselves her family Alec simply picked up Daniel in his arms and did what any mature adult would do in his situation. He ran the fuck away from the angry mob.

“I think the old lady is mad.” Daniel said. Even him, being a ray of sunshine refused adamantly to call that woman ‘grandma’.

Alec laughed. “Well that dinosaur can't chase us all the way to the bakery! How about we drown our sadness in cheesecake?” 

“Yay! I love Mandy's cheesecake!” 

“Then let's not waste time losing the crowd!"

He ran through the cemetery with his laughing son in his arms, and a smile on his face. 

For a second he could see a flash of light brown hair and a familiar smile he thought he'd only preserve in photographs. Alongside a happy blonde man carrying a newborn.

Heh, must've been his imagination. 

“Fucking finally everyone's gone. I hate closing shifts.” Jules said as she finished up in the kitchen and brought out two plates of strawberry shortcake and two milk teas.

The pair had the entirety of the Rivm cafe to themselves now that it was closed, so they cozied up in the nicest booth and got ready to discuss business, also known as revenge operations.

“Think of it this way. You get to sneak whatever you want for a late night snack.” Reynold said as she handed him his food.

“True. Though I suspect you wanted to meet over ‘non food related’ topics. Zombie got something?”

“Zombie hit the jackpot.” Reynold said. “We're making sure it's enough to get a good deal, hence why the strike is still ongoing.”

“Good, let them think nothing is wrong. Baile will communicate with the union leader the second you give him the okay.”

“Here's to hoping.” He said, raising the tea for a toast.

Jules obliged, telling him they had plans to prep food for the protesters and maybe gather information if ever asked to cater a Blake Industries event.

That was all good news even if the man had other things on his mind.

“Reynold!” Jules said, snapping her fingers in front of him. “What's with you? You look depressed.”

“Do I? Sorry. I'm just in need of council.”

“I'll have to start charging you an ex-wife tax for that. Alright, what's up with you?”

“I'm in love with Fabio.”

“Yeah we all know, so what's up?”

“I just to- wait what do you mean you know?!”

She raised an eyebrow. “Dude, everyone knows! You look at him as if he's an angel!"

Reynold turned red and his face in his hands. “Great, and here I thought I was subtle!”

Jules leaned back on the booth seat. “I fail to see the issue. If you love him just tell him.”

“Are you crazy, woman?! I can't do that! Fabio…he deserves so much better! Look at me Jules, I'm entering middle age, work 25/8, and I'm lacking when it comes to romance! There is a reason you and I didn't work out either!

He's young, he…is finally free from so many shackles! He deserves to enjoy life rather than be chained to an old grouch! I refuse to be like Connor!”

Jules nodded and then promptly smacked him. 

“Ouch! What the fuck was that for?!”

“Cuz you're an absolute moron! 

Reynold, first of all the reason you and I didn't work out wasn't because you were a bad husband. You were an excellent husband, we had good sex, we were the best of friends but that's it. We were best friends pushed into marriage in our mid thirties by people who can't fathom a man and a woman being good friends without anything else going on. We never loved each other like that and we never would've. You know I'm aromantic, that I am not the kind of wife you spoil and cuddle with, it wasn't going to work regardless of what we did and at least speaking for myself, I think you did everything correctly in regards to us. It's the reason we are still so close.

As for Fabio, I don't know him as well as you do. He is indeed a decade younger than us and has been through a lot of traumatic events in rapid succession but he's still a functional adult. If Fabio himself says he wants to be with you then you should listen. 

You are 40, not 400 so please calm down in regards to age! From what little I know of Fabio he seems to enjoy your silver fox esthetic. Plus I can confirm you're energetic as hell. You two are fine in that department too.

You are not pulling a Connor, dummy. Just be clear about what you want from the get go and take the time to hear him out.  If it works out it works out and if it doesn't you both move on.”

He sighed. “You're right.” 

His heart raced at the mere thought of those pretty blue eyes and lovely smile. He'd do whatever he could to protect him, and to love him right, should his affections be returned.

“I'm always right.” Jules said as she ate a strawberry. 

“I just…I'd be heartbroken to lose him.”

“Who wouldn't? Fabio is a cutie. But hey, you're a strong cookie. I know you'd be willing to get over this if need be. Though c'mon, I don't need to read Porscha's tarot cards to see wedding bells in your future, permanent ones.”

Again he was flustered. “I'd like that. Thanks Jules. For what it's worth, you were an amazing wife too.”

“Thank you sweet cheeks, but that's done now. I've gone from an amazing wife to an amazing divorcee!” She joked before taking a sip of tea. “Now, let's not get nostalgic and sad here. Gimme the deets on operation make the old fucker pay!”

He'd almost forgotten. “Right! Alec and Riya will be back tomorrow so I need to go over this with you tonight. 

Zombie got us so many good hooks. I need you to tell me which knives to stab the man with.”

The woman grinned wickedly. “Gladly. This'll be better than fresh buttercream.”

He smiled too. Revenge was sweeter than treats indeed. Before he was an employee, he was Riya's friend.

And he wouldn't let this man hurt his friend ever again. 

Daniel was as mesmerized by the mansion as Fiore had been when they first arrived. She explained everything to him as they came in and were greeted by a smiling Porscha, Sergei, Sergio, Fabio, and Reynold.

Every adult made sure to bend down to his level and speak sweetly to him. It made the child drop his guard and slowly grow comfortable.

“Is everyone gonna live here too?”

Sergei shook his head. “No dear. We are here to help your stepmother recover from her injuries. In time we will go back to our own home.”

“Wait, you all did not live here before this? First time I hear of this!” Alec said.

Porscha crossed her arms. “Hey, we're not freeloaders! We have our own house, its just being used as an Airbnb for the time being, its extra money and we can stay here with you while Riya recovers.”

“Actually I am the freeloader I crash in here or with Rey at his penthouse.” Fabio said nonchalantly.

Oh god and these people were her family! Well no, their family. In time she knew Daniel would grow to love them as well.

“Let's go see your room!” She told him as she held his hand and guided him to the space prepared for him. It wasn't decorated but a bed had been bought along with a dresser and a cute bean bag. The light blue room was spacious and already felt welcoming.

“It doesn't look like much now but when we unpack it'll look better.”

“It's so nice…Thanks Fiore. I won't be lonely with you here.”

“Anytime, dear brother. We can be partners in crime.”

“But isn't crime bad?”

“A figure of speech.” She said with a wave of her hand.

Alec wheeled Riya to the room and they seemed relieved that Daniel liked it. “What do you think?” Riya asked.

“It's perfect!” Daniel said before rushing in to hug her. “Thank you for welcoming me here.”

“No sweetie, thank you for being here.”

“Welcome home, Daniel.” Alec said with a smile. 

Despite all the tragedy Fiore could take joy in knowing that unlike what befell her before, this time Alec and Riya would make sure that this sad child would be given the affection he deserved rather than cruelty for his suffering. They'd given this love to her too as well.

‘Welcome home, Danny.’

Then touch my tears
With your lips
And touch my world
With your fingertips

And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today!

Who waits forever anyway...?

Chapter Text

Chapter 16: And turn the lost Away...

Slip away, your vanity is gone
I'm falling out of place
We all fall down, the pain goes on

As I fight for one last prayer
I keep holding on
No love to believe in!
As I drag the Devil down
I will stand alone
No longer defeated…

December wasn't Riya's favorite month, though she appreciated the cold air and ginger cookies. She was happy that for the time being things were going well. One more month of recovery, and then she could begin physical therapy. Baby Sergio was growing so much and already babbling at 3 months old, both Fiore and Daniel were enamored with their ‘little cousin’ and from the looks of it despite the critics and hatedom Reynold was lining up her schedule. With her staff happy and her career still alive, there wasn't much cause for worry. Only one thing was left unresolved as of now. 

Riya wasn't sure what to do about her ‘marriage’. She knew this all started as an act, a way to keep herself, Alec, and Fiore safe. If not for her mental breakdown and suicide attempt she and Alec would've parted ways bitterly and whenever she thought of that she wanted to cry and slap some sense into her past self.

‘I don't ever want to know what it's like to live without you…’

The idea of having that man walk out her life forever, detesting her, and uncertain of his own livelihood. Fuck, she hated thinking about it! How did she ever think she didn't feel anything for him?!

This wasn't meant to happen, but she was happy that it did. That despite the sleepless nights in pain, the tears, the changes made to her daily life, and harsh words from those who hated her she had earned a loving husband who protected her and supported her, that they had a family and were mutually fixing their mistakes together. 

Alec was certainly making progress in recovery. He looked fuller, well rested and despite the slight rivalry those two had, Julian had praised the script changes and suggestions Alec had made as a new writter on the team. In regards to the kids, he was getting on well with Fiore as always, and while Daniel seemed to slowly be adjusting to his new life in LA he was thrilled to spend time with his father.

‘From a fake marriage to two kids and…real love.’

She knew she had feelings for Alec. That if anything happened to this man she most likely would follow, for she wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for him. Riya didn't know how she would've endured recovery without his poetic words, his gentle hands easing her pains, without that sweet smile and silky voice. ‘Aghhh! What's wrong with me?!’

He didn't need this! He was handling a loss, he was in rehab, she hadn't made up for how much of an absolute bitch she'd been to him at camp! Riya hated looking back at those instances. Even if Alec forgave her, she had a bitter taste in her mouth when she remembered how she once discarded the man who now had become her beloved moonlight. 

Regardless, Riya wasn't sure if she should tell him she loved him. Because it was love, she didn't think a feeling this strong could be a trauma bond, even without the tragedy she would've likely found herself looking back at the book lover who saw her as worthy of being the one.

‘I'd kill just to taste your lips once more…’

“Ohhhh you're blushing so much I don't even need to apply that make-up! Thinking about Alec in a collar?~” Fabio said in a teasing tone.

Riya smacked him on the shoulder.  “Oh hush! You look like this when you think about Reynold!”

“Mhmmm that's my Daddy!” He purred seductively.

“Ewww! Fabio, don't say it like that!” Riya protested.

Currently she sat in her dressing room as Fabio did her make up for the upcoming scenes she had to shoot. 

A knock on the door was heard.

"Oh my, may I enter Ms. Sharma? I hope that you are decent.” Julian asked from outside.

“Come on in, Jiji!” Riya said, calling him by his nickname.

“Looking lovely as always!” Julian said. “You're pretty too, Fabio.”

“Damn right I am!” 

“What brings you here, Julian? Change of plans?”

"Something like that. Believe it or not, the studio wants me to hold an open audition for a new character I was shoe-horned into writing.Oh well, I say. I appreciate a challenge.”

“Hmmm that is challenging. I'm sure you'll pull through. The writers have handled all curveballs very well so far. The season is going to end on a high note.”

“I hope so. The reason I'm reaching out is because I kind of have a question to ask regarding the character…You see I want to give more opportunities to actors that rarely get them. I was thinking of making this new character a trans man and since you worked closely with Aiden Brooks I want to know if you'd recommend him. I know you two aren't close friends but if you can work together I'd be happy to give him a shot.”

Aiden would hate knowing she held his fate in her hands. She was not fond of the man, nor of his constant grudge with her and she knew having him on set would make everything twice as hard. But…she also knew what it was like to desperately want someone to take a chance on you.

“You should give him a call. He's very beloved in the fandom and really memorable. I think he'll be delighted to join the cast!”

“Excellent! Then I'll get to that. Thank you, Ms. Sharma. You may resume preparations, shooting begins in ten minutes.”

With the director gone all that was left was for Fabio to put the fake glasses on her and she 
went from Riya to Sati. “There! Now let's go investigate some alien life. It'll help ease your mind.”

“Roger that, captain!” She joked.

She could cross the Aiden bridge when she got to it. For now, it was time to shine through the cosmos and the mysteries.

It was easy to slip into another skin, whenever the cameras rolled she became whoever you asked of her. Under golden light Riya disappeared and instead Sati was left. The same could be said from her former role, where there'd be no trace of warmth or laughter as she turned into the cold Countess, for other shows she played other women, femme fatales, gamblers, she even once played a grunge loving skater girl with green hair streaks.

‘Why do you want to be an actress?’ Her counselor asked her once, likely prompted by her parents.

‘I like pretending to be someone else. I like being seen. No one really sees Riya…’

That had still rang true until now, when she had to look offstage and while the others worked and focused on their tasks, her dark eyes locked in with hazel. Alec had stopped writing just to look at her performance. ‘Always glancing my way, aren't you?’

She continued, reciting her lines perfectly and sinking into the situation. ‘You're not on set, you're in space. Your beloved crewmate just got injured, weep! Weep for him like you would've for-’

They only needed one take, because whenever the possibility of losing Alec came to mind she instantly cried rivers.

“Cut! That was perfect! Take 30 everyone!” Julian shouted and everyone followed suit.

Alec approached her and brought her some cold water. “You were amazing out there.”

She smiled. “You always say that.”

“I mean it. It's so surreal seeing you from Riya to Sati.”

“You can tell?” She asked, curious for the details.

“I do. Sati doesn't use as many hand gestures when she talks, her voice is low, and she glares intensely. You move your hands a lot and your gaze is often softer unless you're mad. Same thing as the voice, you're soft spoken unless…you're- um, trying to be seductive.” Alec said, slightly flustered.

She was blushing again. He'd seen her. Not Sati, not the Countess, or Kira, or any other role. Alec had seen Riya, he never stopped seeing her.

“You have a good eye. Thank you for paying full attention to me.”  Riya thanked him with a sweet smile. 

“Always.”

Alec wheeled her backstage only to hear a voice that she was hoping wouldn't come back to haunt her this quickly. 'Fuck, I thought I had at least a day.' Aiden and his manager were talking to Julian. The actor seemed exasperated while his equally young redhead manager tried to calm himself down.

“Taz, I'm not sure about this!” 

“Aiden, c'mon one of the best directors of the industry sets this up for us and you're thinking of bailing because of her?!” Taz chastised him.

“I assure you, Mr. Brooks, that Riya is a delight to work with on set. I was unaware you two were still at odds, but she graciously recommended you for the role-”

“Wait! So I didn't get the role because you liked my work? It was all thanks to her?!”

Bad timing to arrive here as the second his eyes fell upon her Aiden's expression turned to rage.

“You really can't stop messing with me, huh?!”

“Aiden, calm down! Mrs. Çelik please don't listen to him!” His manager pleaded.

“Look, Julian and I were the ones with the idea. Yell at us if you're that mad!” Porscha said.

“No! You didn't leave me on a cliff to die, Porscha! Nor did you go around being a snake the second time around too! How am I supposed to work with someone who nearly killed me?!”

Her hands were upon her lap and Riya had to grip them. “I am sorry.”

Aiden wasn't expecting to hear that and neither were the others.

“You’re right. I left you on a cliff, it was horrible and selfish of me and regardless of whether or not Kristal had security measures the least I could've done was to pull you back up.

I am really sorry Aiden. Truly I am. I'll understand if you don't believe me or don't want to work with me, but I didn't do this out of malice. I just wanted to give you a helping hand.”

“Just…I don't believe you.”

“Then don't, but leave my manager alone.” Riya said.

“I think we all need a breather. We'll be right back.”Julian said as he gently wheeled her away.

It wasn't until they were away from the set that Riya let silent guilty tears leave her.

“You two start drafting up a schedule, please. Aiden and I have to talk.” Alec said before dragging the actor by the collar of his shirt.

“Hey! Let go!”

“No.”

He dragged him to the break room and then locked the door. “You know whenever Riya and Yul told me you were an emotional little shrimp I used to think they were just mad at you. ‘It's just a grudge left from last season, they'll calm down in time.’ But what you just did proved them both right!”

“How is it my fault that I don't want to work with your evil wife?! You have a job here now too! What? Is this show just her nepotism pro-?!”

He didn't strike because thankfully his sobriety came with much better self control, still Alec glared. 

“Don't even think about finishing that sentence.” He warned. “This show isn't ours. Julian Wilder is the lead director, producer, and he approves the writing. That man detests me as a person and yet as an employer he's been nothing but kind and offered me a job based on my merits. My marriage to Riya has nothing to do with that.

Just like his interest to hire you has nothing to do with Riya. He merely thought it'd be wise to ask her if she approved of you and recommend you for a new role. The entire writing team gave the recommendation as well, so this offer does not ‘hinge’ on her or her connection to you!

You may refuse if you like. Honestly if it was up to me I'd encourage you to refuse it simply because of the grievance you caused to my wife! But, it wouldn't be right to let you walk away without a reminder that you'd be throwing away a golden opportunity with a beloved famous director, and a chance to take on an inclusive role just because you hate Riya!

Don't forgive her, don't like her, don't speak to her, but for fuck's sake Aiden don't waste an opportunity like this just to spite her! Otherwise you'd be proving the wrong people right.”

Aiden thought about it for a moment. “You don't know what it's like, Alec.

It took me months to look down from high edges, and even longer to jump from heights. I didn't need to go through that! I…don't want to run the risk of working here only to end up with another fucked up phobia!

Maybe she's sorry, but sorry doesn't rewire my brain chemistry.”

Alec nodded, motioning at Aiden to sit.

“Did you get any new phobias this season?”

“No, not really. Maybe Nina, cuz that fucking doll probably cursed me.” Aiden admitted.

Alec didn't know what the deal was with that thing, but he had been wary of her too. Fair.

“Okay. No Nina, anything else?”

“No.”

“Did Riya attack you again? Anything aside from fighting in challenges?”

“No she didn't. We even won the-” Aiden shuddered. “Tik-Tok challenge.”

“Right.” Alec didn't want to internally cringe as he remembered that stupid dance challenge and his pleading back then. ‘Should've told you to die mad about it!’ He shook the thought again and cleared his throat. “Aside from being in the villains alliance, and voting for you in your elimination episode, did Riya do anything remotely similar to her actions in the season two finale?”

“No.”

“Then while this does not erase the previous damage she caused or soften your feelings on her as a person you can admit working with Riya a second time didn't cause you harm. Sure, it's not a foolproof method to ensure she wouldn't harm you again, especially when her word means little to you.

But I've seen her Aiden. I've seen her make apologies, I've seen her struggle with what her two seasons on the show caused, and with the people who feel like the game isn't over and done yet. Perhaps you find me a biased source, I'm her husband after all but…ask around set. I can assure you, your mind will be put at ease.

Do this at least before you make your decision.”

The actor eyed him up and down. “You seem adamant in having me take this role. Why? You and I weren't close. Is it for publicity?”

“Aiden the word ‘publicity’ makes me vomit more than a hangover. I truly do not care for that as long as I can protect my family.

We might not be close, but you clearly have big dreams of working here in Hollywood and I'm not letting you make a foolish decision of ruining your own dreams. Been there and done that.”

“I see…there's something I should've done rather than insult you. Yul was talking to James on the cell and he told us about Cheryll. I'm sorry, I hope you and your son are getting through this okay.”.

“We are, thank you. If you do stay with us and it's not too much trouble Daniel would love to meet you. He said, and I quote ‘Aiden is a cool looking punk oreo’”

The strange description made the actor laugh. “Okay now I have to meet the kiddo…Guess I can ask around on set.”

“I promise you, if you need me to intercede for you in the script I shall do so. This all may seem like a burden, but it is not, see it as a chance to finally shine like you deserve to.”

Alec offered a handshake to the man. It was taken. “I will. Would you mind finding Julian and Riya while I speak to the others? I have to make some apologies if I chose to stay.”

“Of course. I'll be right back.”

“Thank you Alec. For what it's worth I…I think you two make a really good couple, you are very in sync.”

Alec chuckled. “You just say that because you got us exposed in the game.”

“Hehe sorry. I really thought it'd be a good game move. Guess I didn't anticipate that bond went further than alliance.”

“If only you knew.”

He unlocked the door and left. As Aiden spoke with the rest of the crew he headed out to look for Riya and Julian. 

‘Hopefully this all works out.’

“Here. Wipe the tears.” Juilian said gently after they hid away in the prop storage and he handed her a silk handkerchief. 

The storage room started to look like an alien planet with makeshift neon plants and star lights dangling from the ceiling with strings. ‘We should go back to the planetarium again…’ she mussed, hoping that Alec had better luck in speaking with Aiden.

“I am so sorry, Jiji. I thought he'd take the job even if I was here.” Riya admitted. “I guess this time the wound was far too deep for apologies to fix it.”

And why wouldn't it be? She had taken her turn dangling off a cliff this season! It was not a fun time, hell, unlike Aiden who was rescued she had to fall and face the aftermath of it. No wingsuit, no net, no hand to save her, if Aiden had left her there to dangle she would've hated his guts too.

No wonder Rosa and Lake didn't even want her words. She'd done this to their dear friend without regrets.

“You don't ever have to say sorry to me!” Julian told her. “If anything I feel like it's my fault this happened. If I'd known Aiden would be so apprehensive I would've gotten someone else-”

“No! This isn't your fault! Fuck's sake, Jiji he's mad at me and with good reason! I just thought the offer would be enough to dissuade him and maybe make amends…

You think I'm really cool and nice, and I really appreciate your support but I'm not a good person! I was awful and I need to accept that some people won't ever want to bother with me again, no matter the cost! You should've found yourself a leading lady worthy of all this praise, because it's wasted on me!” She cried.

Julian kneeled down to her level taking her hands in his. Riya wasn't expecting that.

It was about this time when Alec entered the room. He would've called out to the pair, but the scene gave him pause. He instead chose to kneel down behind the fake plants and stone props to listen in.

“Don't you know how amazing you really are?  I mean, I didn't pick you out of a line-up for no reason. You shine like a dying star, yet you only continue to rise. Your light will never fade in this industry as long as I'm in it. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. People use the term like "muse" or whatever, I just see someone who is important. What you do in front of that camera is important.

Not to mention what you do off the camera!  For Pete's sake, you were a bridesmaid for my cousin's wedding! Not to mention how you were there for me when my father passed away, and even back then we had only worked together once before. You are truly a caring person behind whatever criticism and façade gets put up in your way.  Don't take this the wrong way now, Riya, but to me you're perfect. Every shoot, every lunch we have is like the highlight of my week. You make me better. I would not be the director I am today without your once in a lifetime grace. Again, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, much less someone who's only seen your mask.”

Riya was stunned and stopped crying upon hearing that, a sweet smile forming upon her lips.

Meanwhile Alec kept silent, but exited the room. It wasn't his place to witness this scene, nor did he want the sudden pain in his chest to worsen.

‘You knew from the first glance he was better for her and yet here you are still burdening her with your sorrows.’

He had to go home.

Alec got back to the set and went to get Fabio. “Hey, heading home?”

“Make-up crew is done for the day. Mono told me you guys are done too and have the afternoon off. Want a lift?”

“I do please.”

“Alec, are you okay?”

“No…I just don't feel well.”

Had he stayed a while longer perhaps his reaction would've been different. As Julian wasn't done speaking with Riya just yet.

“Believe me when I say, you found someone who will see you as I see you. Don't think I didn't notice the way you two talk or make quick glances at each other. I'm not vapid, Riya. I just hope he makes you better than you already are. You deserve it more than anyone walking this Earth...My was that bad wording?" He chuckled awkwardly at the end.

Riya didn't say anything and just hugged him tightly. “You deserve everything that's good in the world too. I pray one day you find it. Thanks Jiji.”

“You're welcome, Mrs. Çelik.”

After a few minutes the pair let go of their hold, hid the evidence of their sudden emotional moment and left for the set.

To her surprise Riya found Aiden speaking with Porscha and Taz, the managers breathed a sigh of relief. “There you are! We were looking for you!”

“Just took an Itty-bitty break.” Julian said.

“Hey, I wanted to apologize for how I acted before. I was still angry because of how things went down between us in the show. I shouldn't have lost my cool like that.” Aiden told her.

Riya shook her head. “It's okay. Aiden I was horrible to you for two whole seasons and I've yet to give you any reason to think I've changed. For what it's worth I am truly sorry and I want to help remedy what I've done, if you'd let me.”

“I know. Alec was quite convincing when he stood up for you.” He then turned to Julian. “I know I haven't given the best first impression but if you'll have me, I'd be happy to provide an audition and if up to standard then I'll join the team.”

Julian smiled. “Of course! I'd be happy to see ya in action. Everyone after the audition is done you can all take the rest of the day off sans those of you slotted for a meeting.” He said before leaving with Aiden and Taz.

“Another meeting?” Riya asked Porscha. 

“Yup, we have some overtime work to do. Alec was feeling under the weather and Fabi took him home. Want me to drop you off too? I have time.”

“Yes please! I can't wait to see him!” Riya told her.

“Goodness, you're so peppy when you're in love.” Porscha joked.

After they arrived the duo left the car, collected the mail and went in only to be greeted by hugs from Daniel.

“You're home early!” The little boy said. It lifted Alec’ spirits. 

“Hi buddy! I'm just feeling a little sick.”

“Oh no! Should we get you medicine?”

“No no, I just need some sleep.” He said.

Fiore and Sergei came to greet him. He noticed the trio was bundled up, and that the bodyguard had the baby carrier strapped to his chest, with baby Sergio on it looking like a starfish in his winter clothes.

“I take kids to park. Do you want to join us?”

“I'd be up for it.” Fabio said. “You sure all you need is a nap, Alec?”

“I'm sure. It's just a migraine. I'll be fine.”

“Then I'll leave ya with the mail and scented candles. Lemme get my coat.”

Fiore glanced at him worriedly. “Last time you were having migraines you ended up in the hospital.”

“I'm fine. Really, don't worry about me.” Alec said. 

As Fabio returned he bent down and kissed both kids goodbye, heading upstairs. Alec left everyone's mail upon the table and only took with him an envelope addressed in his name.

‘Must be the CT scan and medical test results.’

Alec decided to take a shower and get comfortable before reading the results and taking a nap.

As the cold water fell upon him he let it wash away the sudden sorrows that now plagued him.

He knew from the very start that this was a doomed endeavor. He could fancy Riya all he wanted but a woman of that caliber was in better hands with someone of equal worth.

‘You shouldn't have fooled yourself into thinking this was more than an act!’

Alec shook his head. No, it wasn't like that.

Riya had been honest with him, she would never lie to him, their days at odds were over and far behind them, he trusted her completely now…which was why it hurt so much to hear the words he wished to say coming from another man. Because he knew that for all their progress and closeness, he still didn't have the guts to confess such sweet words to her. Perhaps in time?

In time? What, now she had to wait for him to be worthy?! Then, could he tell her now? Please! Who'd want the mess of a man he was?! 

‘I should let go. Once and for all before I doom her too.’ He thought as he left the bathroom fully changed and finally ready for bed. Maybe the pillow could provide perspective.

‘Fuck, the results. I'll read them quickly.’

He sat down on the bed and began to read. What he learned made him drop the papers and nearly freeze over. 

‘No…not again…’

He was not escaping punishment in this lifetime it would seem. For every bit of worthiness he had was slowly ripped away from him.

Mindlessly he picked up his phone and got ready to place an order. Nothing other than Absinthe would be enough to numb him now.

Stripped away we rise above it all
Forgotten and betrayed
We all fall down, the pain goes on
No better than before
Still broken and afraid
We all fall down, the pain goes on
And I'll be the cloud that hides the sun

Chapter Text

Chapter 17: Into the Sun we burn!

Lie beneath, faded and selfish
I fall between jaded and helpless
I long to breathe, wasted and empty inside
Defeat, faceless and buried alone…

Into your eyes I live
Beautifully Broken…

The wintery air of the park gave it a sense of peace she oftentimes only found in memories of Tipaskaw before the alliance's fracture. Fiore happily swayed on the swings with her brother, who requested they do anything other than go to the sandbox for some reason. Eh, who was she to question? She couldn't even look at rulers nowadays without squirming.

Fabio and Sergei were looking over them from afar. Given the bodyguard had a tablet it was likely they were working. ‘The adults have been secretive lately. Are they plotting something for Riya?’

She could find out later. For now Fiore focused on her brother, who seemed to be doing better despite only a two week difference between this and their first meeting.

“So Danny, how are you enjoying LA?”

“Its very different from London, and American English is a little difficult to grasp sometimes. But I like it! It's sunny and there's no snow, the house is very big and has two floors and I really like how my room looks.

I just miss mama and papa. As much as I enjoy playing with baby Sergio, I really wanted to meet Helena too..”

Fiore stayed still on the swing reaching out for him. “I'm sorry. I know it's not the same but you have us.”

“I know…I think it's why I can still smile even if I miss them.” He said. “Do you miss anyone in Italy?”

“Not at all. I miss some of the other contestants from the show but that's it. I didn't have a good family like you, that's probably why I latched on to dad so quickly. He was the first adult to ever treat me like a delight and not a burden. Even at his worst I think he tries very hard.”

“He does. Dad is pretty great! 

You know…I used to be really jealous of you back in the first season. Unlike you I'm not clever, I can't plan and I don't like reading too much. So dad and I didn't have common ground like you do. It made me really sad to know he was having so much fun with you as his child, and that even if he tried hard to relate to me it wasn't the same. Mama was livid too…But then you two fell apart and I got really sad, because he was mean and because it looked like it hurt you to let him go. And unlike me who carried the blood and could reach out in time, I wasn't sure if you could see him again after the end of the show.”

She sighed. “Hit the nail on the head. Sorry for that by the way, I wasn't too happy with him making comparisons between us or even those comments, despite loving the praise. 

The truth is sometimes people who love us unintentionally hurt us. I don't think dad meant anything by it. He talked about you when asked, he kept your drawings, and he remembered details about you. It doesn't compensate for everything but I think it counts for something.”

“It does.”

“The truth is, I am a little jealous of you too. You're his true born son, and while Alec isn't a blood purist or anything, you'll be the one resembling his face a decade down the line while I turn into my egg donor, gross.

You're also naturally charming and sweet, I can tell both mom and dad are thrilled to have you here, even with the tragic circumstances.”

“I didn't expect that. Sorry if I made you sad.”

“No, you could never. I am happy to have a sibling and a friend. I'm just saying…

Adults are stupid sometimes. They say shit they don't mean and act irrationally in bad situations but like us I think they mean well most of the time. Our father is a messy man, but when he loves he loves deeply. And whatever problems we have with him, we can discuss. Same thing with mama, she can be vain, and snarky and reckless but she always comes through with a heart of gold.

Our circumstances are different. Different countries, stories, birth families, and so on, but we got brought together when we needed it and while I know you're hurt and this isn't what you wanted, I am eternally grateful that you're here Daniel. I am glad to have a brother.”

He smiled at her with misty eyes. “And I am glad to have a sister as wise as you. You're great Fiore. Don't doubt that.”

With a family like this? She probably wouldn't doubt anymore.

If asked about his romantic life Alec would admit to only loving two women in his life. His late ex-wife and his current wife. But that was a lie, if one counted the bottle as yet another paramour.

A toxic relationship one could say. He got into fights with her, fought others for her and she had nearly killed him. No! Not nearly! After this, she had killed him!

So why not go out with a final poisoned kiss?! 

Due to his job as a writer he could spend a few hundreds on his favorite drinks and have them delivered. It had been 3 months since he last had a taste sans the salty cooking wine sip that he took after Connor nearly ruined everything.

The first sip was cold and refreshing, an old welcome after a period of absence and for a mere second he could feel at peace. The second was less sweet but still delicious, slowly declining with each taste. By the time he finished the bourbon he was tipsy and the euphoria faded.

‘Look at you, pathetic wreck! No wonder your beloved darling is better off with the handsome director! Here you are rotting away over knowing you've ruined yourself with the bottle! And what do you do?! You drink more!

Useless! Useless! Useless! Baile is going to be so disappointed! Your children will be so disgusted! Helena must be ashamed of you in the afterlife! Oh, even Riya will toss you away for being too much a fucking burden!’

He opened up the Absinthe and drank half the bottle in one go. It was cold too but it burned as he swallowed, like there were claws scratching at his neck when he drank.

It still didn't hurt as much as when he imagined Riya in the hands of another man. One who could kiss her better, adore her better, maybe even pleasure her better…Oh he was gonna be sick and die!

“Alec…moonlight, pay attention to me!”

Her sultry voice, he had been bewitched by her voice since he watched that first episode of the second season.

This wasn't Riya. His beloved didn't dress in mere lace with bleeding scars, she had cut her hair and she oftentimes didn't wear make up. No doubt he was drunk enough to hallucinate now.

And yet he didn't care.

“Riya, I love you…” He confessed.

“I know you do. But after all of this, do you think you deserve me?” She asked, placing a hand upon his face.

He glanced at the discarded CT results and the bottles both empty and full.

“No.”

“Then you cannot have me.” She said in a bitter tone like when he refused to be her pawn in the game.

“But!” He pleaded as tears began to fall. “What can I do, then?!” What life did he have without her?

The hallucination kissed him. “You can go to sleep…” She told him lovingly.

At that he nodded, kissed her back and opened yet another bottle. 

‘Always thought I'd die for love…Would this count? Eh, who cares anymore?

I'm sorry Riya. I failed you again.’

“I don't feel like leaving you alone here.” Porscha said.

“Porscha, it's fine. I can handle myself alone. Alec's probably sleeping, I can take a nap too and you'll be back by the afternoon.”

“Fair enough, call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Riya was left alone in the mansion after Porscha left, heading back to the studio. She was glad she was out of her costume and make up, wearing a purple button up sundress that was more comfortable than any space suit. The closer she got to fully healing the cozier her outfits became. ‘I'll have to go shopping with Fiore when I can walk again.’ She thought, perhaps more long sleeves, as her scar marks had yet to fully heal.

‘Hmm? Alec isn't sleeping?’ Riya wondered as the door to Alec's room was slightly ajar. The man was sitting on his bed with his back turned to her and was…Oh no!

She could see empty bottles on the floor. Absinthe, bourbon, vodka and…red wine. Riya thought she was having a nightmare. 

“Alec!” She called out her voice, already broken and angry.

He looked at her, clearly hazy from the various heavy drinks and with a bottle of wine in hand.

His eyes scared her at first, they were tired, dulled, and empty. It was the same gaze he had when they met at camp and the season had started.

But then he saw her in the doorway and his eyes lit up, along with a silly smile. “Riya, my sweet wife!” He called out. “C'mon, come here, have a drink with me!”

Alec wasn't sure he was really seeing her until she was in front of him, as beautiful and unattainable as always. ‘It's not wrong to want you one last time, right?’

“A drink, have you lost it?! You're in rehab there's like 5 empty bottles on the floor! What happened?!”

“Um…nothing much. I-” He hiccuped. “I just needed a breather.” He confessed.

She frowned as he pulled her up to the bed. “Bullshit! That's not enough for you to fall off this badly! Now gimme that!” She said as she tried to pry the half full wine bottle from him.

“No!” Alec refused.

“Alec I am not fooling around! Give me the bottle!” Riya warned.

“Why?! Do you need wine to bear the thought of being stuck with me?!” He accused, unable to erase the image he'd seen before from his mind.

“What?! Of course not! What makes you think that?!”

“Riya be honest, please be honest…Do you like being married to me?” Alec asked, pleading that she didn't curse his name out as expected.

Where was this question coming from? Just what had triggered such a reaction from him? And why would he doubt this?!

“Of course I do! Alec, I'm really happy with you! Meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me!” She said, not wanting to confess while he was inebriated, yet still wanting to convey her love. 

Alec looked at her with glassy eyes. “Thank you for saying it at least once.”

“Once? Do…you want me to say it more often?” She asked while gently moving the hair out of his face.

“No. Because after what I show you, you'd be lying.” He told her as he passed her a piece of paper. “I got the results from the hospital.”

Riya's heart dropped, she quickly looked down at them and read them. It wasn't anything malignant but she couldn't recognize the pathology from name only.

“Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome?” She asked, hoping he would explain.

“Also known as wet brain syndrome. It's caused by a deficiency in thiamine, malnutrition, and alcohol abuse. It's symptoms include…” He paused, gripping the sheets and crying. Riya quickly removed his glasses and wiped his tears. “Ataxia, vision changes, impaired memory, loss of memory, migraines, fatigue, and in the most chronic cases it can lead to seizures.”

Seizures. Like the epileptic seizure that took Helena Çelik, couple the pathology with the genetic component and the possibility of inheriting-

“Oh Alec…I'm so sorry.” Riya said softly. “But this isn't your fault.”

He glared at her, fury suddenly replacing the sadness. “Not my fault?! Then who's fucking fault is it?! I did this Riya! Me! No one else forced me to down three bottles of bourbon a night!” He roared. “Mama…she didn't ask for epilepsy, she took care of herself and had a good diet, she was healthy and young and it still took her! I gave myself this wretched illness because I am a worthless alcoholic!”

Riya felt him prying the bottle of wine from her hands but instead of drinking it he threw it at the wall, it shattered on impact leaving a stain of splattered red upon the wall and glass pieces across the floor.

“Alec stop! Please, you're going to hurt yourself!” Riya pleaded as she grasped his shoulders, again in a drunken haze his rage was pacified into bitter sadness and weeping. 

“What am I going to do?! I gave myself brain damage! Fucking brain damage! How…how was I so careless?! The little worth that I have is due to my intelligence, and I squandered it!

Daniel and Fiore deserve better than to be stuck with me! They…They need a father who's not this unstable and idiotic! And you! You could be with someone worthy! The little I've done for you since you saved me does not make up for the sorrow I caused you! There's nothing to me now, nothing but vile and loathing!

Riya…What good am I without my intelligence?!”

She burst into tears upon hearing that. An echo of the words she'd screamed at him when he stopped her suicide. Riya wasn't going to let history repeat itself.

“Don't say that! Alec, how could you ever think that?! You're so much more than just your brilliance!” She told him as she held him tightly.

“Name one thing worthy of me that does not relate to my intelligence!” He demanded, slightly sarcastic and irate yet still seeking out her affection.

Alec was only calmed when Riya placed her hands upon his face. “Only one? Well, let's start with your looks!”

“My looks?” He asked, looking adorably confused. 

“Yes! You're very handsome, you have soft pretty skin, a nice build, shimmering eyes and you look so sophisticated with your glasses, and your hair is so silky and pretty though it looks so good in other styles too. Yul was totally trying to be the only pretty boy on the team, but his attempt failed because you looked so hot in a mohawk and spiked collar…”

“Riya, you're joking.” Alec chuckled nervously as Riya ran her fingers through his untied hair.

Riya just stared intently at him, noticing that he was still shivering from a freezing shower and his heartbeat was racing. ‘Stupid booze! I need to calm him down! I need to protect him!’

“I am not lying, Alec. I think you're quite the looker, from even before we met I found you charming. I like the way you dress, it suits you a lot and your body is well cared for, more so now that you're eating correctly. And I…I always thought your voice was very alluring.”

He laughed at that. “My voice? It's rather common.”

“No. No one else can sound like you. Not to me.”

He placed his hand over hers, gazing at her adoringly. “What else? It can't be only my looks.”

“It's not. I also love how kind you are.” Riya said with a smile.

She had to be lying. “I am seldom kind, you know me well, Riya. The man you see before you is a deeply selfish man.”

Riya raised an eyebrow. “That's not what you've shown to me, darling.”

She pulled him close until both their silhouettes were visible in the mirror of the room. “Your kindness is the reason I am here today.

If you hadn't been kind enough to check on me despite everything then I'd be gone. You didn't just save me, you remained there with me until my family could reach me, you chose to come with me and dive into a world that you do not care for all for my sake and Fiore's. You chose to bring Daniel along rather than letting him endure the same sorrows as you, and you're working hard to be a better man for the sake of your children. Even before we ever met you considered splitting the prize with your alliance. I could tell, it's what I would've done if I had won the second season and the girls still needed me…

Alec, a selfish man would've walked away and left me to bleed, he would've abandoned us all and only focused on his goals and pleasure. Instead here I find you worrying for us when the one who received heavy news was you! 

You're not selfish, you're the furthest thing from and that's why your heart feels it all twice as deeply.” Riya said, regarding him as if he was the most beloved and delicate being in the universe. 

Understanding, so deep and tender he hadn't seen before in anyone. Riya was probably the only person who looked at him like that in his life. He was going to crumble if not for her hands moving his face gently toward the mirror. The edge of the glass had shattered from the impact of the previously thrown bottle. Still he could see his reflection along with Riya's.

“Look at that handsome man!” she said sweetly as she pressed her face against his.

He chuckled. “Hardly, I'm as broken up as this mirror, Riya.”

“Then let me pour molten gold upon those cracks, and let you be beautifully broken.” She said as she gently caressed him. “Can you smile for me, handsome? I desperately need it.”

Who was he to deny her anything? He'd die for her if Riya requested it. Though the worry and adoration in those eyes suggested she'd want the opposite. 

Alec smiled and Riya did as well, looking at their reflection again. “There he is! My handsome husband! The most brilliant, kind, and beautiful man in the world! The man I love and adore!”

They both gasped after she said that. Alec looked at her and felt as if he would faint. Riya bit her lip, she didn't intend for the words to slip out but they did. “I- I'm so-”

He pressed a finger against her lips. “Don't. Let me believe it, please. Even if it's a lie.”

“It's not! I…I just didn't want to say it like that!”

“Darling, I'll forget it all after I black out.” Alec told her with a bitter laugh. “Don't ever apologize for saying you love me.”

He took in every detail of her, a hand upon her face just like when he first pressed his lips against her. For a moment a sense of deja-vu took him to that painful night and the first kiss that ignited them for a brief moment before their downfall. But not this time, right? This time he tasted wine too, but not heartache.

Riya kissed the hand he placed upon her face. “Alec?”

“You say I am beautifully broken, like kintsugi pottery, and that you'll pour your gold upon my cracks. But I want more, my darling.

I don't want to be put back together in these same pieces, I want us to be rebuilt with each other's shards, mended together so strongly that nothing and no one will tear us apart again. Because I see beauty in your brokenness too, even if you hide it better than I.”

He pulled her close, gently caressing the scars on her wrists and kissing them softly. Riya shivered at the contact, the touch wasn't painful but she didn't like looking at the unsightly scars. Yet Alec was here gently worshiping the most broken part of her as if it was lovely.

“Riya, you're my godly sunlight in all of this misery.” Alec confessed before pressing his lips against hers.

For a moment she'd gone back to that fateful night when they first kissed. The same taste of red wine, the sweet words and the pain that followed, but unlike that night when she was still unsure and laser focused on the game right now all she wanted was to kiss him. More and more until they were breathless, enough to convey that she too, loved him above all else.

Alec wasn't sure why he was being so bold. Maybe it was the alcohol removing his inhibitions, maybe it was jealousy, or maybe he was too enamored by this precious woman to act shyly.

Their kisses in the show had been cut short, and those shared afterward…did they really count? They were scripted, rehearsed, ways of making this tenuous arrangement believable to the public. Now they were alone, away from the world and he was oh so tempted by the scent of lavender. ‘She's mine…She's mine!’

Riya tried to resist, the mere taste of wine was enough to tell her that she should push him away again, but her heart couldn't bear it. Nor could she resist when her temperature rose just from mere contact. 

He'd wanted this for so long, Alec pulled her close, feeling a rush of heat go through his body as Riya whimpered at the roughness of the gesture. He wanted to hear more of that sweet voice in the throes of pleasure. His hand went from her face to her hair, getting tangled up on it as he intensified their kiss.

“Ah!” Riya moaned, shivering at his possessive grip, yet savoring it all the same.

‘Stop, or I might not be able to resist!’ She wanted to tell him, she should've begged him to pull away. Instead Riya succumbed to him feeling his tongue lick her soft lips and then pry them open. A moan escaped her again as Alec's mouth all but devoured her. They were pressed so close together she could feel his racing heartbeat against her own, and as her hands were locked around his neck she could feel the goosebumps over his warm skin. He'd wanted this just as badly as her. 

His tongue didn't leave any part of her mouth unexplored and as he pulled away Alec bit her lip gently with a trail of drool still connecting them.

“You're a greedy kisser.” Riya purred, desperately trying to catch her breath.

“You make me very greedy, my goddess.” Alec said as he gently laid her down on the pillows. His voice was laced with longing and more than soft and soothing it sounded like the growl of an animal in heat.

Riya looked up at him, this wasn't her sweet joyful Alec. The man who was healing himself, who wore his glasses and sweaters, his ponytail and a cute shy smile now towered above her without his glasses, with slightly wet unbound hair, and empty eyes that once broke her heart with their sadness.

“Alec…My moonlight, please-” She pleaded as her hands were upon his face. 

She was silenced as Alec kissed her hands and then pressed himself against her. “My sweet wife, do you know I badly wanted this?” He said in that darkened voice. 

Riya shivered, feeling his lips upon hers again and his hands slowly undoing the buttons of her dress.

Alec took in every detail of her, laid down on her back, looking back at him with love and longing with those expressive eyes of hers. He softly moved her dress, leaving her in nothing but purple lace underwear and shivering under his touch. Her soft skin beckoned him to taste, to mark and to possess. 

Riya wasn't used to being submissive or even shy, oftentimes she was the one who initiated flirtation or intimacy, but looking into the shimmering lustful gaze of her husband she turned red and quickly tried to cover herself. “Don't look at me like that.” She pleaded, as if such a thing could dissuade him.

“How can I not look at you? You're all I ever wanted.” Alec confessed.

Poetic and romantic even when he was devouring her with his gaze. Probably one of the reasons why she loved him so much.

Alec moved her hands away from her body and pinned them at her sides. Every detail of her was committed to memory, if he was going to remember anything against all odds then it'd be her. “Exquiste.” He said in awe.

Riya closed her eyes, flustered by the intensity of his gaze and praise. He kissed her again, deeply, as if to claim her by that mere gesture alone. 

“Ahhh!” She gasped when he pulled away, biting her lip again. 

“Sorry darling, you taste better than the wine.” He said with a darkened laugh. “I do want to hear you cry out more.”

“Alec…We shouldn't.” She finally resisted. “You're drunk and I can't move as I want to.”

“If it's my clarity that concerns you, then don't worry. I've never been more certain of anything in my life.

But you're correct that if I was to fuck you like I want to it might be too rough on your recovering body. Then…please allow me to just spoil you, for a while.” He requested.

She nodded, unable to speak as he pressed his lips to her neck. “Mhh, Alec!”

“Hmm sensitive here? You did warn me during our honeymoon. Gods, I wish I could've made love to you properly that night!” He confessed. “Your beautiful body tempting me in nothing but white silk and stockings. I wanted to pull them all off with my teeth and enjoy every inch of you!” He growled. 

She wouldn't say it, but she too wished they would've been able to do as they wished that night and rip up white lace until dawn. 

“Mhmmm!”

He grinned at the desperate sounds that escaped her. Every single whimper and moan that he pried from her lips as he kissed and caressed her, it was like a heavenly symphony. 

“I don't want anyone else to ever hear those sounds from you, my goddess!” He demanded. “These melodies are mine and mine alone!”

Riya was about to ask what he meant by that until she felt Alec softly biting her neck. She gasped, arching her back and gripping the sheets. “Alec! You're going to leave hickeys!”

“Good. I will make it clear who you are married to! You're mine!” He growled as he kissed her roughly yet again.

Such possessiveness wasn't something she expected from her logical husband, but right now he was more governed by lust than logic. His mouth moved quickly, down her neck, to her chest down to her waist and on every part he left visible love bites that made her sigh in delight.

Both his hands and mouth were all over her and try as she might to resist it, all Riya could do was moan and grip the sheets as her body shuddered and grew hotter by the second.

“Alec…no one will take me from you.” She tried to reassure him as she sat up letting him continue to kiss her neck with her hands wrapped around his. 

“You could have any man you want, any worthy prince or even a poet who's earnestly said how much he loves you. And yet…Here you are shackled to this mess of a man who needs to mark you for his own peace of mind.”

So he had heard what Julian said to her today. Riya kissed him, a chaste kiss rather than the lustful ones they'd had today. “Alec, you might be correct that I could have my choice of men.

But unfortunately for them, you're the man I want. You hold my heart in your hands, You...” She paused, looking at him as she should've that fateful night and being direct rather than merely implying it. “Alec, you're the one, now and forever.”

He was stunned, tears left him even as he didn't want them to. Riya kissed them away, softly kissing down his face and now to his neck as she took off his shirt. 

“Riya..." He called out her name like a prayer.

“Shhhhh, my turn to feast.”

Alec winced as his wife gently bit him, leaving a hickey upon his neck. “There! Now we match!” She said with a giggle as her lips ghosted over his skin, adoringly. 

He smiled, kissing her forehead. “You're the one, Riya. You'll always be.”

Those words were more dear to her than anything she'd been told before. Riya would've kissed him again if she hadn't heard him hiss in pain and pull away.

“Alec! What's wrong?!”

“Migrane.” He muttered as he clutched his head.

“Lay down with me. Careful!” She softly caressed his hair and hugged him.

“M'sorry. I was supposed to be spoiling you and instead…” Alec muttered.

“Shhh it's okay. I've enjoyed your affections plenty today.”

He believed her, still the guilt remained, for maybe if he hadn't been so reckless with himself perhaps he would be able to adore her correctly now.

“Fuck! It hurts so bad, it's like I'm falling apart.” He groaned, closing his eyes and unable to focus on anything.

Anything but the soothing touch of his dear wife. “Then let me hold you together.” Riya said. “Stay with me, handsome.”

He tentatively reached for her, and let himself be locked in a sweet embrace with his goddess. Soon enough sleep took them both.

By the time he woke up the sun had set. Alec's mind was scattered, and his memories hazy. ‘Got home, took a shower, got the diagnosis…shit, then after that Riya was with me and we slept?’ He didn't remember it all too clearly but he soon saw the beautiful silhouette of his wife on the other side of the bed. Alec turned red upon seeing her in lace underwear and with her dress discarded. He was also further flustered and disturbed when he noticed hickeys upon her skin. ‘What did I do?!’

Riya's eyes fluttered open when she couldn't feel Alec holding her anymore. He'd woken up and was confused. “Moonlight?” She called out as she rubbed her eyes. “It's late, we slept a lot.”

“Seems like we did.” He said nervously. “Riya…What did I do?”

“Oh! You don't remember?” She asked. The answer was to be expected but a part of her was disappointed he wouldn't remember the heated sweet moment.

“I know I drank…and you came to- is that a wine splatter on the wall?! Fuck! What happened?”

“You were in need of some comfort, there was rage and sadness but eventually you calmed down and we had a sweet moment together…then we kissed and um…gave each other hickeys.” She said with a laugh. “I'm really sorry I didn't immediately stop you, I know I should've, but it probably would've brought back bad memories and we have enough of those as it is. I didn't want you to feel rejected nor was I strong enough to reject you.

But if you're concerned nothing further than kissing and bite marks took place.”

He nodded, still flustered. “My sincerest apologies. For all of it. I shouldn't have relapsed or lost my temper or even dared touch you! I…I am so sorry. I've done everything wrong!”

Riya placed a hand upon his shoulder. “Alec, I am with you for better or worse, in sickness and in health. Those vows might’ve been taken for convenience but I'd never dare break them, nor will I ever blame you when you're fighting so hard to get better.

You're not alone in this, I'll always be with you.”

He smiled. “Thank you…still, I am so very sorry that I only seem to kiss you when I'm drunk.”

She smirked wickedly before giving him a kiss, loving yet intense. “Then kiss me again when you're sober.  I'll always allow it.”

For a moment he thought he might have a heart attack.

“I think everyone got back home. We should tell them.” Riya said.

“Yeah..”

Riya took his hand and kissed it. “Hey, I know it's frustrating and scary but while I am committed to helping you in this fight so are they. We need to be honest with our family.”

“We do…Let me get you something to wear and we can round up the group.”

“Okay.”

He still felt more akin to a mangled mess than a man. Yet a glance at the lovely woman seated upon his bed made all the burdens seem lighter. Whoever said love wasn't medicine?

Truthfully Alec wanted to tell her he loved her, to adore her as she deserved and make her happy for the rest of their lives. That once seemed out of reach, but if even in this heavy darkness she shone upon him, perhaps there was an end where they'd be together even if their bodies turned to ash.

Fiore sensed tensions as soon Alec and Riya summoned everyone to the dining room. ‘They don't look too sad…Oh shit mom's pregnant?!’ She thought. 

“Sorry we called a meeting, I'll be brief.” Alec said. “I got my results from the hospital stay I had back in November. It turns out I have wet brain syndrome.” 

“Are you going to die?!” Daniel asked, scared.

Fiore too froze up for a second at that assessment. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle losing her dad for good.

“No, no! No sweetie, it's not a terminal illness I won't die. It just means I'll have to deal with some symptoms. Memory loss, migraines, fatigue, and perhaps vision problems.”

“Oh…but you're okay?” Daniel asked.

Alec lied and nodded. But while he could fool her brother, he couldn't fool her. Fiore reached for his hand and he gave it. “We'll take care of you.”

“You already are. Trust me.” Alec said knowingly looking at her.

“Alec, do you have your results?” Porscha asked calmly despite the worry in her black eyes.

“Yes, here.” He passed her the papers and the former nurse sighed in relief.

“Good news, it's in its early stages. I can get you extra vitamin B1 in your diet with supplements, you've cut out alcohol, and with some exercise and reading we should keep ya working up to par with only occasional migraine or pain. And for that too you can count on your fave ex-nurse.” 

“Thank you.” Alec said on the verge of tears.

‘Just what happened to him?’. Fiore wondered 

“Anytime.”

“We shall help too if needed.” Sergei said softly. Fabio nodded along as well. 

“If that's the case, mind helping me clear up my room later…I have some things I need to dispose of.”

The adults shared a knowing look and from it she could deduce her father might have had a small relapse. ‘Fuck…3 months of sobriety down the drain.’ She thought. 

No. She'd let him handle it. Of course a man would snap after so many tragedies and strife in a row. She had to pull through as well.

Riya and Porscha would stay in Riya's room watching a soap opera or something? All she knew was that her ‘aunt’ enjoyed those dramatic shows and so did her mother even if she didn't know any Spanish. With Alec and the men cleaning, Fiore decided it was time to scheme. After dinner she met up with Daniel in her room.

“What's this about a plan?” Her brother asked.

“We are going to be streamers! Maybe not to Ally's level but we need recognition!”

“That sounds fun! But why?”

“Because mom and dad need their burdens eased, and if us being regarded as happy kids is all it takes to get the people who torment them off their backs, it's worth the try.

Also we get extra money for treats and toys!”

Both reasons were enough for her brother. “Count me in! We will make them proud!”

She sure hoped so, it's the least they could do…

“I am sorry.” He repeated over and over.

Sergei placed a hand upon his shoulder as he was done gathering the empty bottles and glass shards while Fabio scrubbed the wine stain off the wall.

“Don't apologize.” He said. “We get it.”

The Russian took out the garbage while Fabio concluded his task and smiled. “All done! It's as if it was never there.” He said.

Alec sighed and sat on the bed. “But it was there…I relapsed like a fool and I-”

“Stop! Self depreciation isn't gonna do shit for you.” Fabio said, kneeling down on the floor in front of him. “I'm not going to tell you that this is easy, or that it'll be fine tomorrow. You're facing pains I can't even begin to comprehend, but as you take one day at the time, I'll be here for you, so will Porscha, and Serg, and the kiddos and obviously Riri. You're not alone Alec, and if you fall a thousand times then we will catch you a thousand times.”

Fabio hugged him afterward and he returned the gesture, clinging to the man like he would a sibling. “Thank you.”

“Don't mention it.”

Now that the room was clean the pair headed out, letting the scent of bleach fade away from the area.

“Everything's out. You stay or go?” Sergei asked Fabio.

“I'm crashing at Reynold's. Got the day off tomorrow so I'm dragging him to Santa Monica.”

As if on cue there was a knock on the main entrance.

Sergei opened it to reveal Reynold. “Speak of the devil.”

“Hey, that's Connor according to your tarot deck!” Reynold said. “I came to pick up Fabi. Is everything okay? Julian packed up production early today.”

“Peachy. He'll tell you the details from the meeting.”

“Gotcha, there's malt in the fridge, Jules sent a few boxes. Don't sleep late.” Reynold told them before departing. 

“Yeah yeah, could tell you to do the same.” Sergei said as he waved away the pair and headed to the kitchen with Alec.

‘And I thought Riya and I were complicated.’ He mused.

The bodyguard took two cans from the fridge and tossed him one. “Here, it's therapy.”

“Sergei, just because I relapsed doesn't mean I'm going to drink again. You heard what Porscha said.”

“Not alcohol, it tastes like black beer but no liquor. It's basically what Porscha and I had during her pregnancy.”

He found it adorable that his friend refrained from drinking in solidarity with his wife. The white haired tall guard was more of a softie that he let on.

They sat down in the living room and drank. Just as Sergei said the drink tasted like black beer but there wasn't a hint of alcohol in it. 

“It's been a day…” He said. “How are you?”

“Dazed, confused, hungover and disappointed. But I am happy to have you all here as support.” Alec admitted.

“Really? I was a little concerned when you first joined us. ‘Mr. Çelik is so elegant and refined, and we are so rowdy! I hope we don't inconvenience him.’ Glad to hear that my fears were unfounded.”

Alec chuckled. “They are now. I was that way once, and if you'd met me two years ago then your assumptions might've been true. 

But that man…fuck I think he died somewhere along the line and I'm an imposter that remains.”

“I used to say the same thing as you.”

“What changed?”

“Purpose. I wasn't living aimlessly surrounded by snow and blood but rather I was held tightly by a warm hold and smiles while we sat in a garden. 

It's safe to say the same might ring through for you, with the addition of small hands and childlike laughter.”

The mere thought of peace beside those three was enough to calm his uncertainty. “If that's the case I don't mind mourning the man I was. He wouldn't have this.”

“Parts of him will remain, whichever ones you need to make it through.” Sergei told him.

“You have to tell me that story one day. I am quite curious.”

“I shall. Just promise you won't think of me as a monster. This tale is one of gore and woe.”

“Aren't all our tales the same?”

Sergei chuckled. “Yeah, you could say so.”

“You two are worse than telenovelas!” Porscha told her as she smacked her with a pillow.

“Ow!” Riya yelped. “What did you want me to do?! I panicked, we talked, things got romantic and heated until he was in pain so I held him and we fell asleep! I hate the fact that the relapse hurt him and that his memory is dicey but at least that gives me the chance to give him a better confession.” Riya admitted. 

“You could just confess when I go to sleep and he comes around to see ya.”

“No…I have to be um, able to- Ugh! You know!” Riya mumbled with a fully red face.

“Ohhhh, damn girl you're that thirsty?” Porscha teased.

Merely thinking about this afternoon or the marks upon her skin had her wishing she could sink into cold water, despite her phobia. Riya had to bite her finger and try to dull her blush.

“Okayyyyy now I'm tempted to ask Alec to join me and Serg. Nerd's secretly naughty!”

“Don't you dare!” Riya said, smacking Porscha with a pillow.

“Calm down! Man only has eyes for you…Look we have some similarities with the whole marriage before love situation and a blurred line between act and genuine love but the truth is you and Alec weren't fooling anyone. Ask your castmates, they'll all say the same.”

Riya just covered her face with her hands. “Can we just watch ‘The Virgin Wife’ reruns in peace?! I swear I'll talk to him once I've recovered and we can proceed properly.”

“We can watch, I'll translate, though ‘proceed'? Is that what you're calling it?”

Riya glared with the pillow in hand.

“No more smacks! I'm holding the baby!”

They finished their show in peace, and after a kiss goodnight to the sleeping baby and her friend's departure Riya waited. Alec came by half an hour later.

“Danny and Fiore are sound asleep in their rooms, they said to send goodnight wishes.”

Riya smiled. “Our kids are so sweet! You think they're holding up well? Come January we'll need to enroll them in school, which Fiore is nervous about, plus Daniel is improving but I can tell he still misses his mom.”

“They seem to be holding up well, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to them. I worry.”

“Speaking of worry, I need your pretty self to come here so I that may check you.”

He got flustered at that. ‘All that adorable blushing when you're just as capable of being dominant yourself.’ She found it alluring.

Alec obeyed, sitting on the other side of the bed as Riya placed a hand on his forehead and then his face. “No fever. Any pain? Headache, withdrawal, nausea?”

“So far so good.” He said. “I was actually here to check up on you. You have to sleep comfortably and yet this afternoon…you know.”

Little dances around the topic and their habit of evasion remained even after the game. Back then she'd been like that not to hurt him, but now she just wanted that perfect moment to say it all.

“I am fine, but I wouldn't mind a repeat. I really enjoy it when you hold me…” Riya admitted. 

Alec smiled. “Then I'll hold you until you don't have any more pain.”

“That'd take a while.”

“I'd do it forever if you need me to.”

“Then do it forever. I'll return the favor.”

For now at least, that was enough, Alec smiled and gently held her close as they both fell asleep.

Tragedies had been drowning them since September; The injury, the suicide attempt, the blacklist, the fandom, the deaths, and now this diagnosis. Sometimes she thought a wicked god was out to get her.

But no, that couldn't be true. Because she'd been able to withstand it all, she had her family, she had her co-workers, her strong will and she was still thriving. 

All thanks to the man who didn't give up on her even in their darkest hour. ‘I promise I'll tell you soon.’ She thought before kissing his cheek gently. 

No matter what came after, she wouldn't let it cause them any more pain.

Fight! We'll fight!
And bury our lives
We'll break these chains
And wash it away
Oh, light
Carry me over the ground
Heavy won't hold me down!

Chapter Text

Chapter 18: I've had Enough!

I'm already incomplete
I know you will cover me
Looking by your empathy
I know you will cover me
I've been lyin' here for weeks
I know you will cover me
Inside out and in between
And I know you will cover me

It was past midnight when she stirred awake at a gentle shake.

“Daniel?” Fiore called out. “Are you okay?” She asked as she sat up.

“I had a nightmare about mama.” He told her. “Can I stay with you?”

“You can. I'll do you one better, let's get mom and dad too.”

“But wouldn't we be bothering them? Dad wants me to be brave and-”

“Hey! Being brave doesn't mean you can't have a rough night every once in a while. Besides, I think dad needs us right now.”

She took his hand and headed for Riya's room. After today's news there was no doubt they'd need the company.

Thankfully the visible marks from the afternoon weren't re-done now, and both Alec and Riya were sound asleep in each other's arms.

Fiore woke Alec and soon enough Riya stirred awake as well. “Everything okay?”

“Daniel had a nightmare.” Fiore said.

“Can we stay with you?”

A verbal answer wasn't given, instead Alec and Riya pulled them up to the bed and shifted around so everyone would have space and be covered by the blanket.

“There, is everyone cozy?” Riya asked.

“Never better.” Fiore said, while Alec and Daniel nodded.

“Then goodnight everyone. I'll see you in the morning.”

She smiled and let sleep slowly take her, only hearing her brother say a meek ‘thanks’ as they fell asleep.

This was the safest she'd ever been.

“I am so sorry. I'll understand if you're disappointed in me for this failure. You've been excellent at your job and yet I threw away three months of hard work down the drain for nothing.” Alec said, bowing his head in shame.

Baile was at the desk but he soon stood and sat beside him in the long seat of the office, looking less like a professional and more like a concerned friend.

“You didn't throw anything away. You're still here, which means you've kept fighting. I am not disappointed, Alec. I could never be.”

“Then perhaps I am the one disappointed in my own failure."

“That's understandable. But I wouldn't call it a failure if you still strive to do better. Frankly, with all you've just told me I am surprised you didn't crack sooner.”

“But, you wouldn't have cracked like this!”

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Don't be so sure. Here, sit on the doctor's chair. Today I'll be the patient, and tell you of the horrors that led me here.”

It was an odd idea, but Dr. Fairburn was nothing if not odd.

Alec did as instructed. “Very well, Mr. Fairburn, tell me your tale of woe!”

Baile laughed. “I was blessed to be born with plenty. My family's old money, and my father was a lawyer. My mother was a sergeant but got discharged because of an injury that left her wheelchair bound. And…I had siblings. 
A younger brother named Dorevan and a sister named Tamara. They were on their way to becoming lawyers too.

But what they don't tell you accurately on shows or media is that becoming a lawyer is grueling, especially when you don't want to. Since I was a baby that was the path chosen for me, they even sent me to a special school with advanced programs, not something a toddler should be doing but I met Nemesis there…if I can credit that academic nightmare for anything it'd be that.

The passing of years didn't make the road easier and by the time I went to college I was already burned out. So a few glasses of wine were mandatory so I could function, then a bottle, then three…until they kicked me out for academic insufficiency and not showing up to class.”

Alec winced an all too familiar situation to his own dismissal as a librarian. “What happened after?”

“My father gave me a beating that nearly sent me to the grave and disowned me. I was left homeless and aimless. Drank myself to sleep for months but in a moment of lucidity I realized I had to get myself back up. I even called Nemesis and she was looking for me like crazy. That's when her mental health needed a reassessment and I don't think seeing me looking like I crawled out of a sewer helped much. But for her, for my family, I stayed sober for a while.

Then tragedy struck a second time and there was a fire at the country house my family frequented. So many died…including my siblings.”

“Im so sorry.”

“Tamara, her girlfriend, Dorevan, his wife and kids…I'd only seen them on occasion after my disownment but they promised to help me get back on my feet. If I'd known that was the last time I'd see them, I would've told them I loved them a thousand times. I wish I'd agreed to take more photos. Sometimes I pray I'd wake up and they'd be calling me to do something stupid together. 

After that fire, mom fell apart, father became even more stone cold and I ran back to the gutter. Their loss made me relapse horrendously. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't speak, all I did was drink and drink until I blacked out. Less than a half a year after I ended up in intensive care due to decompensated cirrhosis.”

“Fuck! Baile I am so sorry… How'd you make it through that?” He asked, concerned for the man.

“Believe it or not, it was pure luck.

Mom and Dad came to see me. The only thing that could save me was a transplant. Mom was willing to donate, but wasn't a match. Dad was…he refused. Fucking prick walked over to my bedside as I groaned in pain and told me I should've been the one to die, instead of my siblings. 

He then dragged mom away and left me there. Nemesis and her family paid for the hospice and they all were willing to donate, but none of them were a match.

This one night I got really sick, I thought I'd die. I told Nemmy that I loved her, that I was sorry we wouldn't spend the rest of our lives together and that I hoped she was happy regardless because she was the Psyche to my Eros.

The last thing I heard was her crying voice as I faded away. 

Against all odds, against my very soul, I woke up the next morning with the news that my father had been murdered the night before, and as such I would receive his liver via organ donation.

They prepped me real quick, did the emergency surgery and I recovered. Against all odds I made a full recovery, and survived. 

My father might've been a brilliant lawyer but he was a busy fool and despite disowning me he never changed his will. I got the house, the money, his law offices. It was a golden ticket.

The second I got out of the hospital I checked into intensive rehab, Nemesis fathers and siblings moved in with mom to help care for her, mama managed the law firm and installed professionals to help it grow, I got sober and went back to school making a double major on law and counseling. Then, I married my ruby eyed goddess and got a job here, just in time for Rosalin to be born.

I spent three years in the gutters, slithering around for more of the poison that nearly took me. When I was healing, tragedy sent me back down for another year. I nearly lost my life if not for the goddess having mercy on me and granting me prosperity for my house and beloved wife.

Things will get rough, tragedy and people will sometimes cause you to fall apart and slow down your healing, but no matter what, you must persist.  You had a relapse? Yes. You lost an ex-wife? You got diagnosed with an incurable ailment? Also yes. And that's more than enough to even send me back the spiral.

But you didn't, you're still here, fighting. You're still here, supporting your son. You're still here for your family's sake. I tell you this as a friend, not a therapist. Alec, you're doing better than most and I am immensely proud of your progress.”

That got him to cry again, though with a smile upon his face. “Thank you, that means the world to me.

For what it's worth I think you're very brave to have done what you did and become such an example to follow. Sorry it took so much work and sorrow.”

“It did, but the best things in life are earned through strife.”

A chime of the clock marked the end of the session and as always Baile offered a handshake. “Group therapy?”

He had vowed to be more sociable during All-Stars. No reason to give that up even if the game was over. Alec took his hand. “Lead the way.”

'Aiden isn't vengeful but this is probably cathartic to him.’ Riya mused.

Today they filmed the introduction for Aiden's character, Shenaz. Her former rival had been painted purple by the make up department and given prosthetics to resemble an extraterrestrial being. And what better way to have both her and Aiden in a show together than as enemies? Hence Shenaz was ‘choking' Sati during a fight scene. 

Aiden had a good understanding on how to make a scene look genuine without causing harm, a rare quality in new hires. To anyone else it would look like he was crushing her windpipe but Riya didn't feel any pain, instead she pretended to struggle and pass out as the script dictated.

“And cut! Brilliant work everyone! We can wrap up on the middle season finale. Tomorrow we begin soothing for the summer block! Everyone take 20!” Juilian commanded.

As soon as the cameras were done filming she opened her eyes. Aiden sighed in relief.“I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked.

Riya laughed. “Aiden please, not to be rude but even if you were trying to choke me for real it might’ve not worked.”

The man rolled his eyes as he stood. “Fair fair.”

Porscha quickly approached and picked her up, putting her on her wheelchair. “There. Good job you two! I was talking to Joseph and your recorded lines as Snake are perfect, so that's wrap on voice work too!

So go have some lunch while I make calls. Alec is still in rehab but he and Sergei will pick up dinner on the way home.”

“Understood, thanks Porscha!”

The woman nodded as she walked away. She noticed Aiden smiled at the scene. “It must be nice to have so many projects at the same time. I really hope I get that one day.”

“You'll get it in time, I'm sure of it. But I'll warn you, it gets really tiring, you need to bring your A-game!” Riya said as she wheeled herself to the catering table with Aiden.

“I'm giving it my all! It's just frustrating…You rose so quick, and James is also doing very well, hell even Yul is thriving as a choreographer and yet here I stand…Maybe that means I'm not cut out for this.”

“No no and no, you can't think like that! Listen this industry is cutthroat and hard to get into unless you're nepotistic as fuck, that's why you must fight and when you get your shot you bite down and don't let go.

Think of this as a breakout role, if you do well you'll get more and the struggle just becomes a bad memory. I'm guessing it's taking a bit cuz you're calm. You need to be controversial, stir shit up, it'll help!” Riya said.

Aiden was surprised. “You think so? I know I can be passive, it's just that I don't like conflict.”

“And you think I do?” She said sarcastically. 

That sentence was enough for Aiden to think of her differently.

The catering table thankfully had the pasta she liked, Riya reached for the bowl trying not to get too invested in the newest ‘fictional divorce or endgame’ debate Jules and Julian had going on.

“He's a slow ass motherfucking Jeff, I'd divorce him too, it's his fault the third movie ended like it did!” Jules said as she piled on mashed potatoes for Julian's plate

“But Lynn didn't want to divorce him! It's said at the start of the movie!”

Aiden leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Are they really arguing over a horror movie couple?” He asked, concerned.

“Don't question it, you'll tune it out with time.”

With food in hand the pair found a table and got ready to eat.

“Hey Riya…I need to ask this, because the more I try to rationalize it and the more we speak the more it bothers me. I want to know why you did what you did.”

“The big question in the middle of my Carbonara pasta. Okay, I'll tell you.

The truth is, I'm not sure myself. You weren't a threat in the game anymore. Heck, James is more athletic than you! It might've been better to go against you in the end! I guess…I was in too deep to think logically or even empathetically. 

All I had to do was pass you, run off and get on the boat. But I was so thorough with everything before, with getting Rosa out and Hunter too, with making sure you and James were at odds and sleepy. I needed everything to fall into place and the mere thought of helping either of you wasn't in the cards, as selfish as that sounds.

I thought Kristal had everything set up safely given the lawsuits Trevor and Derek got for their shit, plus you had the suit on, so I rationalized it by thinking ‘yeah let him fly on his own, I have to keep my lead.’

My mind was set on that money, because I didn't think I'd get lucky after the show. Even now I think I'm dreaming and I'll wake up still working odd jobs to get by as opportunities pass me by.

It wasn't fair of me to meddle with you and James, with your relationship or leaving you in such a scary moment and I am really sorry. I think I turn too paranoid at finales and end up hurting others all too often. I might've done it again in All-Stars if things hadn't fallen apart like that.”

“I see…well I can't say I would've done the same, but I can understand your reasoning. Doing all of these auditions, being passed over for roles, the nepotism, and cutthroat nature of Hollywood, is so crushing. If I had been at it as long as you did and had the chance to get life changing money and prestige then perhaps I would've been rougher too, just not to that degree.

I do forgive you, you know. All I wanted was an apology and you've given me one. You're also cool to work with, this has been much more fun than the show.”

“You forgive me?”

“Yeah.”

She smiled. “Thank you. I will prove to you that your trust isn't misplaced.”

“You're already doing so. Besides, it'd be hypocritical of me to hold a grudge. James and I apologized to Karol for what we did and she forgave us.”

“She told me. I think she's changed her mind about you both quite a bit.”

Aiden seemed surprised at that. “You two still talk?”

“Mostly text but yes. Karol was the only other person I kept contact with aside from, you know.”

“Right. I'm sorry about the blacklist. Neither James nor I agree with that move, it feels too harsh.”

“His problem. I'm doing what I can and even if the injury or public reception have slowed me down I'm not stopping. Better dead than giving up.”

“Not to be harsh but that's what got you in this situation.”

“Maybe, but it'll get me out of it too. I know myself well.”

“Don't tell anyone but I wish I could be like you in that sense.”

“You can. Maybe ask Yul to help you too. Man is a pain but he knows how to be smug and ruthless too.”

Aiden nodded. “So I've heard. He was talking to James in video chat the other night and I spoke to him too. I think he's changing his ways, surprisingly.  That's good.”

“It is. But I wouldn't leave my food alone with him just yet.” She joked.

“Oh definitely!” Aiden laughed.

The pair had a laugh before resuming their lunch and talking about less heavy topics. While Aiden was never her first choice of company during the second or third season she could appreciate his energy now that they were civil and out of the game. Perhaps she wasn't the only one affected by such a harsh playing field.

After lunch and rest the pair needed to get measured by the costume department. A tall redhead with pretty eyes and designer clothes was waiting for them.

“Penelope!” Riya called out.

“My favorite girlboss! It's so good to see you again!” Penelope said as she hugged her. 

Then she turned her attention to Aiden. “Aiden! It's good to see the rumors are true, so nice to meet ya I am Penelope LaCroix, I'll be working in costuming for the show from now on.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Wait! I thought only Brett was in charge of costumes this season?”

As if on cue a nerdy brunette with brown curly hair, pale skin and glasses walked in carrying boxes. “I was but we needed the queen to come back because two of my designers quit!” Brett told them.

“Wait what?” Riya asked. “Right as we are done with the first half of the season?!”

“Apparently Blackbird Studios offered them more payment. So I called my dearest mentor in a rush, but given we'll have more alien species and costumes to make for next season we might need one more person.”

Ugh, of course he was still moving the strings and hemorrhaging money to ruin her. No matter, she had connections too.

Riya glanced at Aiden who seemed to be thinking the same thing. “Say, what if we told you we can make an offer to a dear friend of ours?”

She was sure Ellie and Gabby would have no complaints over taking a trip to LA.

“Okay squad, we better make it quick cuz its dinner rush and I don't trust the boys and kids to not blow up the mansion if I’m not there.” Porscha said.

Jules laughed as she laid down the food for them. Zombie immediately dug in as he passed a USB to the middle of the table.

“All the dirt on grandpa bum. Labor practices of the company from their own documents, information on the machinery and structure which might get em a few OSHA violations, and some juicy gossip with Blake Sr. and Conrad Blake. Honestly despite his stupid ass baby moron might be the least controversial of them all, though that's not saying much.” Zombie told them. “Bai, you're the lawyer, what's best to keep or elaborate on? Fuckers don't know Im in yet, I can dig around some more.”

The blonde counselor tapped his chin. “I'll give you more detailed suggestions upon examining the information, for now I suggest focusing on labor mishaps. Stolen wages, safety violations, the denial of a union and anything else that's admissible in court. The personal gossip can be a little incentive for gramps to behave.”

“Yes sir!”

Sen frowned. “You think he'll be onto us if he discovered the hacking? There are rumors he's coming after Fractured Galaxy next. He could speed it up.”

That was a good point. Porscha knew the man was a petty fuck. He'd be willing to put good money onto destroying another property just to ruin her career. ‘Though shit. Julian won't let ya’

“I mean, let's be real, he's rich but not a billionaire. Even if he can spare a couple more millions or just thousands, it won't be enough. Julian would rather walk than give up his franchise for cash and its not like he's managing Black Widow's Gambit all that well.” Jules said.

“Spill, is it still awful without Riya?” Baile asked.

“Its so nonsensical and boring that it might get canceled come season's end. The fandom is now less about the show and more about being a space for ‘Riya detractors’ but even so the numbers aren't even reaching a fourth of what they were. BWG is cooked unless they bring back Riya, but we know Mr. Blake won't let it happen, it's safe to say this gambit won't pay off.”

Jules' explanation yielded a mixed reaction from her. Proving Riya's worth to a big value production and her talent was always a positive, and if Phoenix came crawling back she'd pay to see Riya tell him to go fuck off. 

But she was concerned about the bad press, as detractors to the actress were many and deeply vicious. She knew Riya was in great hands, but didn't doubt another comment like that could chip away at her and her fragile heart. ‘I don't want her to get hurt again.’

“I'm no expert but maybe we should wrap it all up soon. If we can stop oldie from being petty again and we prove the hatedom wrong we'll be done with this mess asap.” Sen said.

“Fair point.” Baile agreed. “Send me every last detail of what you get, Zombie. I'll comb through it and get the employees a good deal. If his money is going where it should be, Connor won't be able to interfere with Riya anymore.

Lest of course he's stupid and spiteful enough to push this.” 

He was, many detractors also were, and so Porscha's worry grew.

‘I won't allow him to hurt this family again.’

Ellie nearly dropped her bag when she saw them, rushing in to hug him and Fiore. “I missed you both so much! It's so good to see you!” She said.

“It's good to see you too," Alec said. “Riya and Daniel are at home setting everything up. Hope you both had a good flight.”

“We did!” Gabby said as she caught up, giving them both hugs. “Though the passengers were glaring.”

Ah yes. The Ellie snoring they endured in season one was burned into his mind forever. ‘Gabrysia, you are a titan to endure such noise.’ Alec thought. 

“Nevermind them. You ladies are in the city of angels and it's time to take flight!”

Ellie looked ecstatic. “I am going to have to thank Riya a thousand times for this opportunity! I feel lightheaded just thinking about it.”

“She'll be happy to hear that.”

Riya had come home a week ago desperate to call Ellie, apparently they needed another person for costuming for the second half of the season. So she called the girls up and agreed to fly them to LA and host them while Ellie worked on the show. 

He was certain that with a job like this one the redhead might cover tuition for the rest of her academic life and already have a good spot on her resume once she graduated.

“No way! Are you for real?!”

He chuckled at Gabby's reaction to their ride. Riya had rented them a limo for the occasion.

“Ladies, today we ride like royalty.” He said, exaggerating a posh English accent. 

The three laughed and Fiore softly elbowed him. “Dad, you're so lame.”

Maybe, but at least everyone was smiling. Just as he'd hoped he'd see them before departing. ‘There'll be no departures now.’

Once settled in he felt Gabby take his hand. “We're sorry we couldn't be there for you in England. Grett told us everything and we wanted to write but it's been busy.”

“Don't worry. You're here now and I appreciate  it. Daniel's the most torn up about it but he's holding his own well, and despite everything he is doing better.”

“That's good to hear. I'm glad we get to meet him now.

Actually Alec, that's something I should've apologized for a while ago. I was really shitty towards you in my interviews and despite our messy game you did look for me. Sorry for that.”

“Oh don't worry about that. No hard feelings on my end. I know gossip sells well and that you needed the interviews. Besides, it's not like you were wrong. I was a horrible father back then and it's best I acknowledge rather than hide from it.”

“I think you're doing a great job now.” Fiore quickly said.

“Thanks sweetie.”

Yeah they'd be fine. Everything was slowly turning out fine. 

“Okay, room is done, Porscha is on dinner duty and Sergei has the pool and backyard ready for use. Everything is ready for our guests!” Riya beamed.

“Good to hear. Now we wait?” Daniel asked.

“Yep! I'm excited to see them again. What about you, Danny?”

“...Can I be honest?”

“Hmmm? Of course! Is something the matter?”

“I'm not happy with Ms. Parker. I don't know her personally and dad seems to like her but I am angry she said mean things about him! How can people assume I didn't want to see him?! I did, even when he was cold and serious and liked Fiore better, I still wanted to see my dad! Even mama thought I didn't and I couldn't see him for so long… I love dad and I hate that the world thinks I shouldn't!”

This went deeper than just a slight dislike of Ellie's comments. Apparently the little one had certain grievances that could never be addressed now. She wasn't sure of what to say, but she would try.

Riya opened her arms and Daniel went in for a hug. She gently ran her fingers through his hair. “I'm sorry sweetheart. You shouldn't be already dealing with the world trying to dictate your emotions.

Listen, it's not wrong for you to be mad. I don't like it when people try to dictate how I should feel or who I am, and hell I signed up for it because of my profession. But you're a child, and one who is still learning who he is and what he wants out of life. No one should be telling what that is, just because they'd do things differently than you 

If you want to be mad, be mad! Contradict people if they make assumptions, and do as you please in regards to your father, because this is your story, no one else's. I don't think Ellie or even Cheryll meant ill with what they said or did. It's just that they might've done things differently and thus assumed you'd do too.”

“Really? I…I just don't want to be mad at mama. She passed away and I miss her and she loved me but I was secretly mad about the situation with dad. Ms. Parker at least seems to be on good terms with him again.”

“I know, these are complicated emotions to have. But there's nothing wrong with being a little angry, anger is the emotion that helps you understand when you're being treated unfairly, it's how you handle it that will matter most.

Being miffed that she didn't let you see Alec doesn't mean you won't miss or love her, it just means that you wanted your father in your life even when he was at his worst, because you love him and while she might’ve been the parent, it was still wrong of Cheryll to make that choice for you. Even if she had good intentions in keeping you safe and from seeing the worst parts of your dear dad. Really Danny, it's okay.”

He nodded. “Thanks Riya. I like talking to you. You're very nice…The television did lie.”

“Hmm?”

“I was sure they were lying about you being mean. And now I'm certain!” He said with a bright smile.

Riya chuckled. “Happy to hear it!

Daniel, I know I am not your mom, nor am I trying to replace her because gods forbid I'd ever erase the memory of someone so dear to you. But if you ever need to talk, if you want anything even just a hug, or simply just want another perspective aside from Alec's just know that I am here for you.”

“Thanks Riya.”

“You're welcome, buddy.”

“We're home!” They heard Alec's voice. 

Riya placed Daniel upon her lap and wheeled herself to the main entrance. They were there when everyone arrived.

“Girls, welcome to LA!”

Ellie and Gabby hugged her and greeted Daniel. The child was polite and far more calm than before they had their talk, perhaps direct interaction would change his mind on the redhead.

“You really went all out for us. Thanks Riya! We are so happy to be here and I promise I won't let you down with the work.”

“You don't have to thank me, I know you'll rock it. Now, does anyone want a dip in the pool?”

No one refused the offer.

Introductions were quickly made and once the girls luggage was in their room they all enjoyed a calm afternoon by the pool. 

Gabby was adoring the positive attention from the kids while Sergei and Alec remained outside the water, talking. Just as she and Ellie did when the redhead passed her a parfait from the kitchen.

“Here's your yogurt. I nearly got lost in there.” She joked.

“C'mon Ellie, the house isn't that big.”

“It feels like a palace though. You have good decor taste.”

“Thanks! I'm sure you and Gabby have great taste too.”

“I'm more minimalist to be honest, it's what I'm used to. Gabs likes cute decor but we can't trust the pets won't eat it.

Praying that the trio can handle them.”

“You left them with Tess?”

“Yeah, turns out Ally and Hunter were coming down to New York for an event and were down to petsit as well. They're all great but still I worry.”

“They'll be okay. Otherwise they would've called already. You have the job you want for a bit, so focus on that and on enjoying time with your girlfriend. Time is flying by.”

“Sure is. Feels like All-Stars was a lifetime ago and it's only been like four months.”

“So true. Time there was so endless. I do not miss it.” Riya said, not wanting to remember those long days at camp or the aftermath of them.

Ellie noticed the shift in her mood and gently asked. “How long until you're out of the chair?”

“Before new years I lose the braces, but I'll take physical therapy all through January.” Riya sighed. “So February if all goes well.”

“That's harsh…I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault. Hell, you guys even cheered for me. I appreciate that a lot.”

“I'm glad you do. But we should've done more. Maybe if we had put more effort into searching for the totem we could've been your helpers and escaped the cave or something! I…know what it's like to be pried from the win at third place.”

“I'm happy to know you would've been willing to help me, but no one else is to blame for what happened to me. I made my choice. If anything I'm glad the disaster didn't extend to Yul. That could've happened to anyone who helped me then.

You needed the money during your final, and so did I the first time, but this. This was just me being greedy and wanting to shut up my stupid ex. If I had given it up I could've saved myself some pain.”

“It's not just greed. Because if I suddenly became rich and they called me up saying that I have a chance to win over Miriam in another finale you can bet I would take it. Sometimes it's not about the money, it's about the betrayal. It's about getting what should've been yours the first time around.”

“Yeah. Guess injustice is hard to bite back when you are so close to the goal. I was rooting for you, you know. Though I also wanted Fiore to win as well.”

Ellie laughed. “We really should've teamed up and split the goods. But hey, she got herself a home here with you guys. I'm glad to know my little sister is cared for and happy.”

Riya smiled “You shall be too. I promise to help you girls out. I'd rather keep you as friends than just helpers on a silly game.”

“I wouldn't have minded.” Ellie joked. 

“Maybe you would've? I was so laser focused back then. Gods who's to say I wouldn't have snapped in the coliseum!”

“I don't know, Riya. I would understand. We all did pretty unforgivable shit during the game.” Ellie said. “I don't think there's much I wouldn't forgive you for. And if not then we could settle it out of the game.”

Riya raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You want to fight?” She asked playfully. 

“Maybe, we have a ring right here.” Ellie said, pointing to the pool.

“Then, after you, dear friend. We'll be having our bronze finale!”

With a strength she didn't think a shorter slim woman could have, Ellie picked Riya up and the two ended up laughing as she jumped in the pool.

Neither got the gold they rightfully deserved, but the game wasn't the only way to earn it.

“You are all such nerds.” He could hear Grett say from the other side of the screen. “Can't say it's not interesting.”

Their friend was laughing along as Gabby and Napayshni were excitedly discussing entomology books and studies.

Sergei had come along just to drive them to the actors house but in his own words ‘Siberia didn't have bugs. I like them.’

As for him, Alec wouldn't ever turn down an opportunity to hear an expert speak on something they love and know a lot about. Learning after all was his favorite thing to do, even if now he'd have to write everything down lest he forget it. ‘And here I thought my mind would only fail me in old age.’

“But Grett! I am talking to a man who's seen extinct species! Of course I need to be a nerd! Right Mr. Howell?” Gabby said.

“Exactly Ms. Novak! Now from here in California we have the Xerces blue butterfly. It was last seen in the 1940's. I was seventeen at the time but I remember once seeing them in an insectorium. Very beautiful and docile creatures. A shame they went extinct, though that goes for all extinct species.”

Sergei nodded along, and Grett seemed attentive as Gabby and Napayshni talked about the insects from their encyclopedias and such. Soon enough they'd compared notes and data, bringing the discussion to a close.

“Im so excited! I get to stay with a friend who's a great actress and now my girlfriend will be designing costumes for her and another one of our favorite actors who loves animals and is so nice to talk to. I can't stop smiling!” Gabby said as she bounced with joy.

It was a contagious feeling. Truly none of them could've predicted this outcome during the game or even afterward. ‘Maybe I was just thinking of misery if I didn't get the gold.’

“I appreciate the praise, Gabby. I have no doubts Ellie will dazzle us all with her creations during filming too. You were both a delight to watch and I am sure that just like with Alec and Riya we can be good friends off camera too.”

“I'd love that! Thanks!”

The sweet moment was interrupted by the ring of a cellphone. Someone was calling Sergei.

“Pardon me. I'll take this outside the library.” He said as he exited.

Alec found it odd that the usually calm man seemed surprised by the call, but his curiosity took a backseat when he heard his name.

“We should resume with marine life. Though before that, Alec, I have a question.”

“Huh, sure. What do you need Napayshni?”

“Do you know if Riya has decided to audition for ‘The Siren’?”

“Ah, I am not sure. She's certainly fond of the original film, and I think she really wants to audition in February but given her condition or the fact that the film involves some underwater scenes it's likely she's torn.”

“I see. It's understandable, truly. I remember my daughters were all very concerned after the season two finale. Though if that is a concern then perhaps it can be requested that the water effects be done digitally?”

Alec chuckled. “Riya is the type to enjoy doing it all. Unless it's a complex stunt she does it all by herself and very well I might add. I just wish there was a way to help her.”

“Not to worry Alec! I'm not letting my bestie miss out on a great role because of fear! If there's a way to help Riya I shall find it!”

‘Oh Gabby, if only we all had your endless optimism.’

“Is it all set then?” Sergei asked.

“Baile said he has everything done. I thought it'd take more time but with everyone's cooperation he pieced it all together already. We could head out tomorrow if we wanted to.” Fabio told him.

“No, too soon. We have guests now. Best to wait a bit. Let them think they're winning. It'll keep Blake and his minions guard down. When we strike we need to be precise or he'll see it coming.”

“Copy that. Sen said he'd come along, as Baile and Nemesis. You and Porscha will go?”

“Of course. It's our mission. Are you two not joining us?”

“Not sure, someone should stay with Riya. I don't trust The Devil not to strike back after the final blow.”

“Neither do I.”

“Sergei, you've been gone for a bit, everything okay?”

Alec's voice and shoulder tap startled him. “Ah sorry. Let me finish on phone.”

“Work call?”

“Something like that.”

His work was to protect Riya. He'd done so well and proudly in a physical matter. But this protection? This one he felt tempted to use old skills that should be best left dormant.

“Oh my god! Mother Ellie, it's so nice to meet you! You were my favorite contestant! We are so hyped to be working with you!” Brett said as he vigorously shook Ellie's hand. She seemed pleased.

Penelope and Riya rolled their eyes. “Please excuse him. He's in fanboy mode.” Penelope said.

“Oh no worries! I'm so happy to meet a fan, more often than not I have to meet with the opposite.” She told them. “Thanks for your support Brett. I look forward to working with you and Penelope.”

Introductions were going well, Fiore glanced around the set with a smile. Alec was seated with the other writers speaking with Julian and Napayshni. Given the latter's character would debut on the half season finale the group wanted the writing to convey emotion at said twist, especially since he'd been cast as the adoptive father of Riya's character and the biological father of Aiden's character.

Gabby was getting a tour of the set with the other actors as she carried Daniel on her shoulders. The pair seemed to enjoy fooling around the fake planet created on set.

Riya meanwhile was getting her make-up done and a small scolding from Fabio because of…hickeys?! ‘Geez Alec, control yourself!’ She thought. 

Fiore hadn't noticed the costuming department was done talking and Ellie sneakily picked her up.

“Whoa! I am not Mr. Whiskers!” Fiore protested while still clinging to her sister figure.

“Nope, he's sleeping in our bed and tucked in.” Ellie said. “Penelope wants me to watch filming so I get an idea of what to make.”

Ellie walked with her before filming commenced, taking in the big studio and space. 

“Did you think we'd see this back when we were in Tipaskaw?” Fiore asked in a shaky voice.

“No…” Ellie confessed. “If not for Gabby I don't think I might've seen the outside of Tipaskaw again.”

Fiore shuddered. She knew exactly what she meant. The little girl clung to Ellie in a tight hug. “I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry for everything.”

“Right back at ya. Don't worry, those days are gone. I am not going anywhere, and I can tell neither are you. Right?”

She smiled. Glancing at her mother on scene, at her brother and friend, at her father and the rest of her family still around and looking out for them.

“No, I am not going anywhere. I've got everything I want right here.”

A particularly bad day was upon them.

Riya woke up in absolute agony, pained by her back and unable to do much. It was a free day for her but that didn't mean Porscha wasn't worried. Especially when aside from the chronic pains, she had a fever.

“Sergei, you're on baby duty. Ellie resume your work, Gabby please make lunch, vegan food is perfectly acceptable for everyone. Fiore, Daniel, wait for me downstairs for tasks. Alec you're ‘on give wife affection’ duties. Everyone roll out!”

There were no arguments. It made Riya laugh. “Running the house like the navy?”

“Ew, don't say it like I support the military industrial complex.” Porscha joked. “I'm making sure things are up to par! Take good care of your wife, nerdy boy!”

With that said everyone broke off into groups, save for her and Alec. Her handsome husband remained by her side softly pressing his hand against her forehead.

“You're burning up a lot. Do you feel light headed?”

“A little? I don't think the back pain will let me sleep though.” she muttered.

Fiore returned to the room with a tray “Porscha said to give this to you. It has breakfast and medicine. We'll be downstairs if you need us.”

“Thanks sweetie!” Riya said.

Alec ruffled her hair. “Thank you.”

Their daughter smiled and left. Sometimes the change from mischievous child to sweetheart was jarring but both knew that if she needed to take back from her former self, she'd be able to.

“Porscha really has us on a diet.” Riya joked upon seeing her dear friend made them two big bowls of fruit salad, yogurt, and granola. 

Alec chuckled. “She's really upping my vitamin intake. Our friends are really caring well for us.”

“Indeed.”

She'd nearly ended it all months ago, mostly for the thought of being a burden on those she adored. Only for every single one of them to prove her wrong with enough love to last her three more lifetimes.

Porscha who nursed her for free and sometimes fought battles that should've been Riya's, still she treated her more like a sister than a boss. Sergei who'd taken on protective duties for everyone in the family, even before they stepped on US soil again. Fabio who had already saved her once and continued to be a beacon of hope and joy this time around, a lifeline and a brother she'd never thought she had. Finally Reynold who despite hesitancy he'd stuck by her and continued to look out for the little men of the world.

And of course there was her husband, who despite facing his own dark side and pains remained ever present by her side, carrying out schemes, supporting her, and loving her better than anyone ever could. ‘I don't ever want to know what it's like to live without you.’

“Riya?” Alec asked as he glanced at her. They'd both finished their meal and she stared at him with shimmering eyes.

“You're amazing.” Riya said. “I'm so lucky.” She said while cuddling closer.

“That's the fever talking.” Alec joked. He moved the tray and handed her the medicine with a glass of water. “Drink. There's balm on the tray. I'll give you a massage.”

“Eager to place your hands on me again?” Riya purred.

“Patience dear. I intend to spoil you when you've recovered. For now let me just ease your pains.”

She didn't need to be told what to do. In a similar scene to that of their honeymoon, Riya took off her pajama shirt and laid on her stomach. “Ready.”

“Good, relax.” Alec told her.

Riya closed her eyes and let her husband ease her aches. His hands were always soft against her skin, treating her delicately even in lustful moments. She hummed in delight as he used the balm on her pained back.

The bruises had faded and she was healing, though now that she was nearing full recovery her bones seemed adamant on giving her the pain they'd kept at bay for months. ‘Its okay. I'm being taken care of.’

As if reading her mind Alec pressed a kiss on the back of her neck that made her gasp. Riya stifled her moans on her pillow as Alec kissed down her back softly all the way to her waist and then upwards again.

“Alec! Mhmmm, you know I am sensitive there!”

“All too well. I couldn't resist it.” He said in a husky tone.

Riya smiled. “...When did we stop pretending?” She asked.

Alec hummed. “I don't think I was ever pretending.”

“I don't think I ever pretended either…” she confessed. “You're easy to love.”

His hands left her back and he allowed her to rise before cupping her chin to the side and kissing her deeply.

Riya melted into the kiss playfully biting his lip as he bit hers a few weeks ago. She pressed his hand on her chest over her heart, so Alec could feel her racing heartbeat. 

“Delicious.” He muttered as they pulled away from the sweet kiss. “You tempt me well.”

“That is a siren's purpose.” She told him lovingly. 

Alec smiled and let her lie down awaiting to resume with his care. They were both deeply tempted to resume, but she knew that once they gave in not only would they both be insatiable, she wanted it to be a grand occasion rather than taking things too far when she was ill.

Still, the moment made her emotional. To know that despite it all Alec had still loved her as deeply as she loved him. It made her cry tears of joy.

“Riya? Am I being too harsh?”

“No moonlight, I am just happy…May I ask a favor?”

“Of course?”

“Can you take me downstairs to pray?”

He kissed her hand. “Of course.”

She put her pajama on and Alec carried her downstairs. No one was in the living room as he helped her kneel at Kaali's altar.

Riya noticed Alec was kneeling beside her, holding her steady and wrapping his hands around her.

“You don't have to pray with me.” She told him with a smile.

Alec just kissed her cheek. “I do. I have to pray, because life gave me you.”

Riya nearly melted on the spot. She never required her partners to reciprocate her faith so long as they respected it. And yet here was the agnostic man kneeling in prayer by her side and keeping her steady.

She already knew she loved him, but this mere gesture was enough to make her fall all over again.

‘Ma Kaali, I apologize for my lack of reverence in this state. It has been difficult upon my body to kneel and worship properly. 

Still I hope you'll allow me to thank you for the blessings you've bestowed upon me in this dark time.

I have my beloved family, protecting and loving me above and beyond a mere superior or work colleague. I wouldn't have made it as far as I have without them.

Then there are my children. You as a mother know well that I doubted my ability to be like you. I am not as caring or nurturing as other women but those two little ones have stolen my heart. With your guidance I make it my mission to love and care for them as long as we live.

And my husband…My husband has been the biggest blessing granted to me. Never did I think I'd love anyone this deeply and this fiercely. Here he is before me worshiping you despite his severance from religion. Here is a man worthy of all that's good and kind and I pray to you more for his sake than mine.

Please, grant him peace. For he is my moon in the night sky and the love of my life’

Dear Agony:

I wrote to you years ago, but this newly fractured mind of mine was unaware until recently. 

Regardless you should know your shadow was upon me for years. My academic achievements, my stepmother's arrival, and my first marriage all managed to slowly tear you from my life until you returned and engulfed every corner of me.
I was drowning…I stared at the abyss of death once, the barrel of the gun and the sorrow that leads a man there.

You won. For a brief moment you won.

And then I was given a chance to chase the shine of the stars. This time not for the sake of others but rather my own. Which didn't matter much…or so I thought. 

This broken road was difficult, and has taken more tears than I thought I had left. Yet after pain, hunger, withdrawal, betrayal, and guilt there was a sun shining down upon me. My Riya, my sunlight, my goddess, and my forever. She saved me.

Thanks to her I have my children back, and a semblance of healing within me. Many have helped, many have given my life worth and color, but she, she is the catalyst to your defeat and the only deity I could say I consistently worship.

Agony, you won't touch me again so long as this woman is by my side.

This I swear, for all of eternity. 

Alec finished the letter as he stared at his wife's sleeping face. Gabby had made them all a nice veggie soup and after watching cartoons with their children she wanted to sleep and help the fever break. He sat beside her as he wrote, protectively monitoring her every breath and her smile in slumber.

‘I love you. I can't wait to say so.’ He thought. 

But sweet musings came to an end as he heard a scream from the kitchen and shattering glass. Alec carefully left the bed and rushed downstairs. 

Fiore and Daniel were already there, hugging a kneeling Porscha while Ellie swiftly swept and threw away the broken glass.

“What happened?!” Sergei asked as he passed his son to Gabby.

“Look!” Porscha sobbed as she showed them her phone. The trio of new arrivals glanced at her device all surprised and enraged by the news revealed.

Blackbird studios seek acquisition of the rights for ‘The Siren’ 2024 remake.

He saw red. How?! How was that bastard still a hindrance on them?! And to try and pry such a dear role from Riya?! Alec wanted to tear him to shreds.

“It gets worse.” Ellie said.

The group read the article on the screen and felt sick and livid.

Many are questioning if this choice would be right for a studio that centers on period pieces rather than supernatural stories but the demand comes from fans suggesting a boycott of the film if the actress Riya Çelik is cast in the lead role, as is rumored she's to audition for the part.

‘She'd set a bad example by playing a role that is so beloved by many people, specifically POC’ said one fan.

‘Riya's not right for the role as the siren embraces themes of sisterhood and it's rumored she was disowned by her family.’

‘The woman's a train wreck since she got messed up on All-Stars, getting into a sham marriage with another contestant with anger issues and just wasting away in that chair. She can't play the siren!’

The comments made his stomach drop but more so a specific one.

‘As the new owner of Blackbird studios I am seeking to expand our genres and make a film worthy of the accolades the original received.’ Connor Blake said in an interview. ‘I highly doubt Mrs. Çelik would be the right actress for a role many hold in high regard. Her staff particularly concern me as well, one has a record, another is known to intimidate people and the third worked for years in the adult film industry. People like this shouldn't be near this type of production and perhaps her manager might reconsider.’

‘What the fuck does he know about film?! What the fuck does he know about POC roles or even feminist movies?! Who is he to take this from her?! Who is he to say vile things about their staff?!’ Alec was ready to roar but felt Sergei grip his wrist and keep him in place.

“Nyet. That is what he wants.”

“How dare he?! How dare they all say that?! I've seen Riya's fans, they love her. We love her! You both have been getting loads of support! This… it doesn't make sense…” Gabby said.

“It's the Black Widow's Gambit new fandom. They're not as big as the former one but mostly support the show to spite Riya, they likely caught wind that she was a candidate for the movie and if Connor heard then he pounced on the chance to bid and drag us again.” Porscha explained. “I knew it! I knew he'd do this! They always do this!”

Sergei helped his wife stand and led everyone to the living room. “My heart, take a deep breath. I shall call Reynold and Fabio. We will deal with this damage.” He said as he rubbed circles upon her back.

“Yeah auntie Porscha, everything will be okay.” Daniel said as he held her hands.

“Oh baby if only…I just, I've seen this before and it hurts me so bad.” Porscha said. She glanced at Alec. “You remember Amy Winehouse?”

“The singer? Yes she was one of my stepmother's favorites. We were all saddened by her passing in my household.” Alec told her.

“Right, Amy was a talented woman who went through the scrutiny of the media until they drove her to literally drink herself to death! She was spiraling and instead of helping her the public turned against her and worsened her condition. 

There's Amanda Bynes too, a child star that spiraled and begged for mercy only to get mistreated at every turn by people who she once made happy with her art. We can add Britney Spears to that list too, we all adored her in the 90's and early 00's but when her sanity was shattered and the pressure pushed her to the limit those who had her posters were the first to support her conservatorship. It took from 2008 to 2021 for this woman to get her rights and freedom back all because she spiraled badly once!

I don't want the same thing to happen to Riya! I don't want the public to make her suffer and relish in that suffering until her star is extinguished or worse…she dies.”

Fiore sat on the sofa and cuddled Porscha. “That won't happen. We're taking care of mom. She has us, she has you and Reynold helping her succeed. Even if there are assholes who want to hate on her for the show or because she is still standing, we will protect her!”

“It's sweet of you to say, and I swear to do everything in my power to care for her, but sometimes things don't go as we want them to. We were able to keep her from the edge when she lost the Countess. I'm not sure we can pull a second miracle.” Porscha confessed. “I need to take care of her. I can't see her scarred and broken again!”

“My heart, you're slipping into old patterns. Let me call the boys. We will fix this.”

In half an hour Reynold and Fabio arrived, bringing dinner for everyone and quickly being briefed on the subject.

Reynold looked livid but quickly made calls, while Fabio went to inform and retrieve Riya.

“I have it handled. We are not letting that Devil take anything else from her!” Reynold said as he hung up the call. “We just have to wait.”

“He tempts me to cause a red cold river once again.” Sergei said with a voice so deep and full of venom that even Alec was unsettled.

“Were you a soldier Mr. Romanov?” Gabby asked him.

The anger left him for a moment as he chuckled. “No dear, something far worst.”

“Oh dear, are we telling that story again?” Reynold asked. “Out of you three I can never tell who unsettled me the most”

“Its not like you didn't drag yourself up from the bottom.” Porscha told him. “I quite like your story.”

“Can't take all the credit. I was blessed. Though you two and Fabi, it would've been too much for me.”

“Oh I wanna know!” Daniel said. “Can you tell us your stories?”

“Ah, who's storytelling?” Fabio asked as he wheeled Riya in. Alec quickly went to her side and checked her. She had cried and looked sad but smiled at him and took his hands. ‘I am here, I'm not leaving.’ her eyes said, easing his worry.

“Us apparently.” Porscha joked. “I am not sure these are stories for the kiddos.” 

“Ohhh but I am curious too!” Fiore said. “It can't be worse than Tipaskaw.”

Ellie laughed. “Kid raises a good argument.”

“Well, I suppose I could omit certain things or just tell you to cover your ears.” Porscha mused as Gabby passed her the baby. Looking at his face made her smile again.

“Mine's not as harsh. I can spill my guts.” Reynold said.

“If you're not sex repulsed then sure. Why not? I've not shared this in a while.” Fabio said.

Sergei scanned the room, he gently rubbed baby Sergio's head and kissed Porscha's forehead.

“If you can handle this, I'll speak. If not, leave the room.” He said.

The white haired man took off his shirt and showed them his back. Those who had never seen it all flinched and winced.

He had gashes of pink and red upon pale white skin, as if he'd been scarred before and it never healed properly. ‘Those aren't blade scars.’ Alec thought.

“I don't think I want to know anymore.” Daniel said. 

Riya gestured for him to come to her side. “I've heard this all thousand times dear. Let's go eat upstairs and I'll spend time with you. Okay?”

The little boy nodded and only after the pair left did everyone agree they could handle whatever tales of woe would be told tonight. 

“Dear Agony, we're going back to the start of the Çelik staff.”

I got somethin' up my sleeve
I know you will cover me
Inside out and in between
I know you will cover me
I've got bruises on my knees
I know you will cover me
Inside out and in between
And I know you will cover me!

Chapter Text

Chapter 19: Keep moving on until forever ends…

So why are you so eager to betray?
Pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up.
So why are you the one that walks away?
Pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up.

April 17th, 2001.

Porscha stuffed the CD player deep in her backpack. She didn't want her mother smashing her belongings to bits again if she was raging.

Of course, as expected their apartment was still a mess that Porscha would have to clean. She'd get to it after dinner and homework. Oh wait, the pantry was empty. She'd have to buy groceries and then cook. Guess tomorrow would be another ‘doing your homework on the bus’ day.

Celia however wasn't screaming or complaining or giving her another black eye. Instead the woman was…doing her make-up?

‘Ah fuck, another one?’

“Hey.” She greeted her as she walked by her mother's room.

“Hey Porscha, I am going out tonight. There's soup on the stove if you're hungry. Don't wait for me!”

“Uh Sure.” she said. 

Her 25 year old mother was dressed in a short black dress with silver heels and red lipstick. Once she was done she walked out with her purse and patted Porscha on the head.

‘Contact that doesn't end with a bruise. Rare.’ She mused after being left alone again.

She tried not to blame the woman. Celia had gotten pregnant with her in high school, probably as a failed baby trap given her father had run for the hills after graduation and never shown his face again. After being left with an unwanted child and zero support anyone would be as angry as her mother. Hell, Celia named her after a fucking car. A car she probably would've preferred to have instead of a kid, but no turning back now huh.

“Six more years…Just six more.” Porscha sighed.

She turned on the radio as she approached the kitchen, blasting Deftones as loudly as the device allowed. There was a packet of Ramen noodles, the aforementioned can of onion soup and a slice of ham in the fridge.

“Guess it's soup night!”

Grocery shopping could wait until the weekend, that is if her mother wasn't squandering away their money again. Porscha still had a stash away just in case.

“Alright then, gotta keep up the 4.0 GPA!”

To leave she had to grow, and once she grew she knew she wanted to study and be a nurse. Sadly college wasn't free, and there was a higher chance of her summoning a guardian spirit than of Celia having a college fund for her.

Proscha let the soup boil along with the noodles and ham as she emptied her school bag on the living room floor. She'd do the homework while dinner was made and likely have enough time to catch the new episode of Charmed.

‘Wouldn't it be fun to deliever justice like a witch?’

October 6th 2003

“Reynold Chaddington…That name's familiar. Wasn't your pop disowned, kid?” The director asked.

Reynold nodded. “My father and mother's marriage wasn't an approved one. But we've had a happy life regardless and despite humble beginnings I'm sure I can dazzle you!”

The bright eyed 20 year old smiled brightly. Reynold had black curls, pale skin and deep dark blue eyes that shimmered with joy. 

“Alright then, give it your all!”

He nodded and read the ‘To be or not to be’ scene from Shakespeare's Hamlet. After seven rejections in a row and slowly losing hope, the man put everything into his performance.

By the time it concluded the director and audition judges all gave a standing ovation. “Very good! We will be in contact soon!”

“Thank you!”

He rode his motorcycle home with a smile under his helmet. Maybe this one was it? He wasn't sure, but the reaction had been positive. 

‘Yeah just like the last few. Face it, they're just being nice.’

Reynold didn't let his bad thoughts affect his good mood. He arrived at home and quickly greeted his father, who was fixing up the car.

“Dad! Good afternoon!”

“Hey buddy! How was the audition?”

“I have a good feeling about this one! I hope they call me!” He said with a smile. “Can I help you while I wait?”

“Sure thing! Pass me the wrench.”

Cars were not his passion, unlike his father but he loved helping him work on them. Reginald might've given up the luxuries for the sake of marrying the woman he loved and chasing his passion for auto mechanics, but he kept the elegance even as he worked with oil and tools. It was great to see. 

Just as they were finishing up Reynold got a text back from the studio. He was so excited he opened it with his father.

Mr. Chaddington:

Thank you for auditioning! We have taken your skills into consideration but have ultimately decided to move forward with a different candidate. We wish you good luck in future endeavors and thank you for your interest.

Best regards.

He flipped the phone closed and cursed. “Fuck, again?! It's the eighth one in a row! I don't understand! They gave me a standing ovation! I thought I did well…”

His father quickly held him before he could cry out of frustration. “I'm sure you did great, buddy. It's tough out there and I'm certain your grandparents aren't helping much.

I have the sneaking suspicion they might be trying to blacklist you.”

That would explain a lot. Reynold wanted to rage at the injustice of it, but that would solve nothing. Being deprived of his dreams because two idiots he never met were livid their son defied them was a cruel twist of fate. 

But in time, he could defy fate. 

“I won't give them the satisfaction but, maybe I'll take a reprieve from the stage. Make them think I gave up.

Say, Jules told me she could hook me up with a pizza delivery job. Can I invite her to dinner?”

“Uh sure.” His father said. “Are you sure this is what you want, Rey? I don't want you to give up glory for security.”

“I am sure dad. I'm nothing if not a patient man.”

He'd get his chance to shine in time.

January 28th, 2004.

“Number 24601. Step forward.”

A white haired teen stepped forward, he was tall and well built for his age. He walked to the center of the room, dressed in a grey uniform that shielded from the Siberian cold.

Before him was his mentor, who had since birth cared for him. At age ten he began his training to be a worthy assassin and by age fourteen he'd risen to the top of the class, but today he turned seventeen and he was done with training. As of today he was a member of the Neo KGB.

“24601, congratulations. Your physical evaluations all yielded perfect results.” Dimitri said. “Emotinal and social evaluations were satisfactory as well though you'll be asked to perfect those skills in the field.”

He nodded. “Yes sir!”

“As of today you're an official member of our ranks, ready to join missions and operatives outside the facilities. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

He was given a tag, a pistol, and extra rations for the day. Otherwise, his routine didn't change.

Once training, bathing, eating, and studying were complete he was sent to his room. The monochromatic dark grey wall and bunk beds gave it an eerie feel but he wouldn't have known that. He knew nothing else other than this facility, this life, and this ‘family’.

Who were his parents? No one could say, he'd been raised here from birth. Did he have any other interests or goals outside of excelling as a professional assassin? Again, he did not know. He wished to find out in the future.

There was one thing however, that he knew.

“24601! You're back!” His roommate said, earning a smile from the stoic pale man.

A mirror of himself somewhat, only his hair was platinum blonde rather than white and his eyes golden brown instead of silver. ‘Gold and Silver’ their comrades called them.

“Hello 24610.”

“How was it? Are you part of the ranks now? Will you go on missions?” 

“Yes. I'll be assigned missions in time. I hope to be informed soon.”

“That is so cool! Don't forget about me when you get to leave and make us proud!"

He sighed, ruffling his younger roommate's curls. “Don't worry. When you finish training we will be partners. I won't ever leave you behind.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

May 19th 2004.

No eleven year old should be holding a gun, much less pointing it at a tied up struggling man.

Fabio's big eyes were full of tears as his small hands trembled. He didn't want to shoot the man.

His father, the other higher ups and older siblings all stood around, waiting for him to do so.

“Go on then! Shoot, you little twerp!”

He shivered and was unable to pull the trigger until he glanced at his father and could see the crowbar in his hand. 

The child knew he couldn't handle that again.

‘I'm sorry.’ He apologized to the stranger in his mind as he quickly pulled the trigger. Fabio closed his eyes, not wanting to see the result of his actions. 

The other men laughed and cheered.

“Right to the heart, poor sucker!” His father said as he patted him on the back a little too hard. “Yer a natural kid! With that good aim we'll be running the Milan area in no time!”

Milan area? No! No! No he wasn't killing someone again! Never! He wasn't!

Fabio began crying hysterically, dropping to his knees and tossing the gun away. The yelling and accusations all blurred as he wept and wept until a sharp pain sent him halfway across the warehouse.

“Stop crying like a woman or I'll give you something to cry about!” His father roared.

The smack with the crowbar was hard enough to draw blood and he felt himself slowly passing out. Chiara was probably going to be patching him up again, great.

As he closed eyes Fabio wondered if there was a way he could escape this. ‘Mama, can I go with you? Wherever that is?’

September 14th 2004.

“I'm surprised you're here, you seem to live with Keith now.” Porscha joked as she saw her mother come down from her room while she was folding the laundry. 

“We need to talk.”

Oh that was never a good sentence to hear. I mean, at least Celia couldn't kick her out at 15. Right?

“Okay? What's up?”

“Keith wants us to officially move in with him!” Celia said with joy.

Porscha dropped the shirt she was holding. “What?!”

“You heard me! After three years our luck is about to change! No more shitty apartment, or waitress work, or even struggling for money! Oh it's so good to bag a rich man!”

She had to calm down and not begin hyperventilating. “Don't do it.”

“What?”

“Don't move in with him. Mom, I am serious that man is bad news. I've been telling you for years! Please listen to me on this, that man is disgusting!”

“I can't believe how selfish you're being! Just because you don't like him doesn't mean I can't be happy! What? I have to deprive myself of love because you don't like your soon to be stepfather?!”

“I wouldn't be asking this of you if it was only a matter of likability! He's a dirty old man! His eyes wander toward teenage girls! That man keeps looking at me! Ever since my chest began growing he keeps looking! I don't want to live with him-”

She was cut off mid sentence by a hard slap to the face. This wasn't new, she shouldn't have been surprised, and yet her hand lightly grazed the print her mother left and her black eyes filled with tears.

The pain didn't end there as Celia gripped her jaw and nearly sunk her red nails into her tanned skin.

“How dare you?! Spreading lies about the man who told me he'll put you through college! I should tell him to save himself the trouble!

You think I am going to give up everything I've ever wanted for your lies?! The only reason you're here right now it's because your grandparents are very Catholic! Your father left us! I had to drop out of school to raise you! I gave up everything for you!

But I am done giving up my happiness for you! We are moving with Keith and his family tomorrow and that is final! Leave once you're eighteen if you have any shame!”

With that she was let go and her mother left the apartment, slamming the door on her way out.

She kneeled there for a moment, with a racing heartbeat and aching face. Then she broke down and cried loudly. Sobs, whimpers, and gasps for air filled the room

‘This is stupid!’ She told herself. It's not like that bitch of woman had made her hate for her a secret! She knew Celia hated her, resented her, that she wanted her gone so that she could try to remake her life. And why not? She had time, the woman was thirty two still young and eager to live rather than deal with her.

Right ‘deal’ as if Porscha hadn't been cooking and cleaning since she was able to walk! If not for her status as minor she'd stay in this roach infested hellhole rather go near that rich old fuck that licked his lips whenever he saw her.

There was no time for crying. Porscha rushed upstairs to check her stash. She counted every coin and had saved up around 15k.

“It's good but I need to keep going. I need enough to leave the second I turn eighteen.” She muttered to herself.

Until then it was best she put her self defense to the test and made sure that fossil didn't touch her.

April 19th 2006.

Fabio was so numb he could barely keep his eyes open. Still, he did as he planned, changed his bloodied suit after a hot shower and waited until everyone was asleep.

Chiara waited for him in his father's office. The old lady looked more and more tired every day with long white hair, dulled blue eyes, and a short skinny frame masked by a classic long maid outfit.

“Mio caro, how are you?”

“Bad nonna. We had a tizzy with a rival gang.” He admitted as the old woman checked his injuries by candlelight.

“Oh, he made you shoot again, that Diablo. It's okay. I have something you will like.”

She opened a drawer from the mafia don's desk and handed Fabio a file. It was laminated and pristine, with the picture of a woman attached. 

She was beautiful with long black hair, black eyes and a sweet smile. Her kimono was purple and she stood near a cherry blossom tree

Yumi Kazemura

“Mama? Is this…?”

“Your mother's file. It's about time I told you the bitter truth.”

“I thought she died in childbirth.” He said.

“No, mio caro. Yumi was an escort and like many unlucky escorts she was impregnated by your father.

You see Giovanni cares not if he fathers a girl, but his sons, those he takes from their weeping mothers as soon as he learns of them. He uses his connections to find out the gender and status of all the children he fathers, then he intercepts.

Your mother resisted his machinations. She said she didn't care if he didn't love nor marry her but that she wouldn't let you go. So Giovanni brought her to live here when she had you. But it was a trap and he wanted to slowly poison her.”

“He killed my mother?!” Fabio muttered. 

The cruelty of his father was immense and yet a small yet foolish part of him had hoped the man had mercy for the mothers of the children he abused and destroyed here in his quest for power up the mafia ladder.

“He did. I was ordered to bring her the food and told her so. To not eat, to escape, and leave you behind, but she told me no. That she'd rather spend her last few days by your side than to flee. She entrusted you to me and that once you were older I would tell you everything.” Chiara said

“But…why now? I am thirteen nonna! I cannot leave.”

“No, you may not but in time you will. You need to become what he wants you to be. If you fool him he will drop his guard and let you escape.”

It was a good plan. He could have reprieve, save money before he vanished, though likely he'd leave Italy for good if that came to pass. But…

“Many will die by my hand. People would be sacrificed for my sake. I shouldn't!” He muttered. 

The old woman ran her hands through his blonde curls. “Mio caro, I know you're a pure soul that does not wish to spill blood but I am afraid that in this place that is inevitable. Regardless of your desires you must do what you can to stay alive.

Your mother would've wanted it that way.”

There would be sacrifices made for his sake. He'd have to ensure they were worth it.

“Then I shall, but nonna I must know. Did you tell me this now because you're not long for this world?”

She nodded. “I will soon part. I had to make sure you know. I'll keep caring for you until my dying day. The rest however is up to you.”

“I understand. Don't worry nonna, I'll be okay. Ti amo.”

“Ti amo, mio caro.”

He hugged her, understanding that soon things would take a turn for the worst. Before putting the file back where it belonged Fabio memorized the photo, and noticed every detail.

“What's that bracelet mama is wearing?”

“Oh that? It's a jade bracelet. Your mother was a Buddhist.”

Buddhism…he should look into that once he left this wretched mansion behind. Maybe those gods might save him from what the God of his father had long since ignored.

April 11th 2006.

Reynold knew that more often than not the life of an actor was to be filled with rejections. He had his fair share of them three years ago. He'd waited, he'd prepared and practiced; he was almost certain those cretins that miffed his father were finally done with him and his family and he could try again.

Only to be crying onto the counter of the pizzeria while his bestie ruffled his hair. He shredded the rejection letter to bits before crying.

“C'mon Rey, those uggos are just jealous you can act and outmug them." Jules tried to comfort him. “You'll get the next one.”

“No Jules, I won't.” He said. “I tried to wait and see if my grandparents would let up but the moment I start auditioning again they do this! It's like they're getting back at dad through me and I hate it! Not only because it keeps me from my goal but because I can tell dad feels guilty. 

The last thing I want is for dad and mom to feel hurt.”

“You don't rule over other people's hearts, Rey. I know you're trying to ease their worries but that's not up to you.

As for the acting, maybe you can sue or go for an indie project to break out. I don't think the Chaddingtons have a hold on the indie scene too.”

“With the mega rich fucks, you never know…” He sighed. “I shouldn't keep this hopeless endeavor going. Rejection isn't something I handle well.”

“Wha?! No Rey c'mon! You have too much talent not to make it! You can't give up, it's what they want!”

“I am not giving up on fame. But acting…I think that ship has sailed.” Reynold said as he heard the closing alarm beeping. “It's 11 p.m. now. Let me help you finish closing.”

“Oi you don't work here anymore. Papa Reginald's autoshop pays better.”

He chuckled. “It does. I love working with him and mom. Mechanic skills, secretarial, I should ask uncle Leom to teach me construction too.”

“Yikes, a triple threat with an acting degree and peak social skills. I'm buying you a suit and turning you into an acting agent!”

She meant it as a joke while sneaking out the last pizza of the night, but she saw Reynold's dark blue eyes shine with that mischievous glimmer.

“Bitch, I was joking.”

“I'm not! That is a pretty good idea actually!”

In between terracotta brick walls and an empty pizzeria that still smelled like garlic bread and spice, Reynold Chaddington swore that he'd become an agent, but not just any agent, the most coveted agent in Hollywood.

‘You won't break me.’

June 26th 2006.

It didn't take long. Keith had continued to act the chivalrous ‘kind’ man her mother considered him as. Oh so welcoming and nice those first few months, even if she could feel his eyes on her ass whenever she walked away from him.

It all came to a head at her stepbrothers extravagant party. Celia was conversing with the guests, the boys were off making quips and she'd been left alone at the food table.

Just as she ate a cream puff she felt strong big hands grip her breasts tightly. “Enjoying the party?” Keith asked.

She smelled the whiskey on his hot breath and resisted the urge to gag. To anyone else it would look like he was trying to give her a hug from behind, but she knew. She was ready for this the minute she saw the man looking at her with eyes no father should make at his ‘child’.

Proscha grabbed his wrist and twisted it hard, she heard the radius bone snap and was tempted to keep twisting until it snapped out of the skin.

Keith groaned but not loudly enough for anyone to hear. It seemed he was sober enough to know that if Porscha made a scene he'd be discovered.

“Listen to me you flaccid dinosaur, you are not putting another damn hand on my tits, ass, or any fucking part of my body for as long as I am here or I will torture you to death so badly they won't be able to find you body!” She muttered while glaring at him. “I'm not scared of jail, juvie, homelessness, or you! So get off and get away! First and last warning!”

He looked scared, as if no one else had dared say no to him before. Keith remained silent as she stared him down, unsure of what to say or how to proceed.

“Daddy, the twins are going to cut the cake, they wants us all there.”

The pair turned to look at Keith's youngest child, Leah. The fourteen year old girl shared her father's blonde hair and blue eyes but her skin was tanned rather than pale.

The injured man took the excuse to run off and leave the girls alone. Leah looked surprised that he ran but then calmly walked over to Porscha and checked her.

“Are you okay? Did he do anything?!” She asked while checking Porscha.

“I didn't let him. I'm fine…Wait, you know?”

When her stepsister lowered her gaze. “He's done it before, pays off the girls and their parents to keep quiet.”

Oh, so that was why her stepsister didn't have many friends. She found it odd as the sweet girl was very approachable and nice company. Well, the least she could do was help.

“Can I hug you?” Porscha asked. 

Leah nodded and she took her in her arms. “It's okay. When we are old enough we will leave.”

Porscha felt her holding on tightly, clinging on for dear life. “You won't leave me?”

“No, no I am not leaving without you.”

No one took care of her all this time, but she knew well how to take care of others. It was what she was put on this earth to do.

‘Just a couple years more.’

November 3rd 2006.

“Sergei, for the son of Anna Karerina in Leo Tolstoy's novel. Romanov after the last imperial dynasty of Russia.” He explained.

“Sergei Romanov. It has a nice ring to it.” Dimitri explained. “Good on you for choosing from a novel. I took mine from Dimitri Karamazov.” He joked.

The older man looked particularly serene today. Assigning a mission for him and asking him to choose a name for himself. He still went by his number to everyone else other than his mission partners and his boss.

‘A name…I spent almost two decades without one.’ Sergei thought, still it brought him joy to think that in time he'd be venturing outside the facilities.

Whatever lies beyond the snow? Is it just blood or something more?

March 15th 2007.

“Beware the Ides of March” Julius Caesar had been told by the soothsayer during Act 1 of the famous Shakespeare play. 

You'd think that by reading that line so many times she would've been wary of this date too. Still, Porscha was drowsy and sleepy when she found a necklace on the doorknob of her room.

‘Eh? This is Leah's!’

The necklace was a black string with a silver charm of the Wiccan triquetra. Porscha once mentioned how she intended to become a Wiccan once the pair left this home. Leah shared the sentiment and was buying jewelry for them, a triquetra for herself and she was gonna order a wheel for Porscha's seventeenth birthday.

Curious as to why her sister would leave something so precious here she headed for Leah's room. 

Porscha knocked on her door. “Leah! Girlie, you left your necklace at my door!”

She waited, no answer. Another knock, nothing. Porscha tried to open the door and check if the room was empty but it was locked.

‘Is she sleeping, still?’

“What's up?” Her stepbrother Cameron greeted.

“Cam, I can't open Leah's room. Is she downstairs?”

“No, she hasn't come out to breakfast.” He told her. The brunette knocked on the door. “Yo! Leah! Wake up!”

Nothing was heard.

“That's strange, she's usually the first one awake.” Cameron said. “You think she's in the lady's days?”

Porscha gently elbowed him. “It's not like that! I know her cycle, we are synched! It's not ladies' day.”

“Okay, then this is serious. Step aside, I'm breaking in.”

She watched the 20 year old throw himself at the door many times, desperately trying to bust it open.

“What's with the commotion?!” Celia yelled as she came upstairs.

“Leah locked her room!” Porscha said. “She hasn't been out all day!”

She kept the necklace hidden in the sleeve of her nightgown. She wasn't letting anyone know about the trinket.

Cameron finally broke down the door. There was a dresser placed in front of it to block it.
Porscha and her step brother quickly went in only for her to let out a harrowing scream at the scene they found.

Bedsheets had become a makeshift rope hanging from the ceiling fan of the light purple room. Tied at the end and hung from the sheets was Leah Withaker, expired, cold and turned pale.

Porscha screamed until she blacked out. She woke up at night and scissors made a mess of her wrists until she could black out again.

Cameron wordlessly cleaned up the mess and kept her company, more so when they both heard heavy footsteps from the outside of her room and Porscha clung to him.

“Shhhh. I'm here. I'll protect you.”

March 18th 2007.

She'd begun to wear that triquetra like a ritual. Porscha packed up the documents she needed for her escape, along with a burner phone, her 30k of savings, clothes, and the jewelry that idiot had given her when he believed she'd be another easy mark.

The funeral home was full of rich families. The Margots, the Hiltons, the Chaddingtons, the Blakes, even the Mullers had flown in from Germany. 

Pathetic! Who among these even cared about the girl?! Who of them knew she loved purple, crystals, and Celtic myth?! Who of them had seen her freckles in sunlight and heard her laughter as they watched cartoons?! Who of them knew that Porscha taught her how to fight, hoping to prevent this end?! Who of them knew that…that their oh so kind benefactor had dared put his hands upon his own daughter's friends and other younger women?! 

‘He would've gotten me too if I hadn't been ready.’ 

Porscha drank the last of her hot chocolate in the funeral lobby. She'd add more weapons to her escape package once she got back home.

“Cha-cha. You have fifteen minutes.” Cameron told her. 

She nodded and snuck in the cremation room. Soon the young woman would be turned to ash, but before that, Porscha would make sure she would hear her from the Summerlands. 

She set up a chalice, a silver string, and lit a candle. Everything had to be done quickly.

A paper had been folded and tucked into her dress pocket. She took it out, cleared her throat and began to read. 

“You've embarked on your journey to a more pleasant rest than the life lived here. A rest where we shall meet you and set out together on our next adventure to a different life. The wheel turns. You pass on from the life of day to the dead of night. This is not the end. One day we will meet again and share bread and wine with you, sister.

O' blessed spirit, we bid you farewell, for you await a new destiny.”

With her speech done, Porscha placed the silver string on the chalice and covered it with her hands as she prayed and blew out the candle she'd lit.

‘It is done. What you really wanted.’

She now spoke as a sister, rather than a fellow Wiccan. Tears left her and her voice broke but she'd be brief.

“I love you Leah, I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I will live in your name and in time bring justice to you.”

Her failure weighed upon her heart like a stone. She'd promised to keep Leah safe, she taught her how to fight, how to be rough and aggressive and yet she still perished. That girl was not weak! She was stronger than anyone Porscha had ever met…Something must've pushed her over the edge.

Porscha collected her things and ran out of the room, nodding to her step brother. The two blended back into the crowd, keeping this moment a secret. Still, she knew there was a dark truth waiting to be uncovered.

March 20th 2007.

It was indeed uncovered two days later. The depraved waste of oxygen had extended the event, still surrounded by other greedy high class scum that were there more for business than to mourn. 

Porscha was at least grateful that these devils distracted the man enough to keep him away from her. No doubt he'd think her fragile state was a perfect opportunity to ‘try again’ so to speak. But her guard was never down, and she went everywhere with a knife, just in case.

The truth she heard by mere coincidence. Her birthday was to come in six days, and with it she would have only one more year to endure before she finally became an adult and could vanish. She was tempted to do so early.

Unbeknownst to her, she would be forced to adhere to those temptations.

Walking downstairs there were still idiots mingling and talking around the foyer and living room. It all felt like a shitty business event to run away from.

Proscha bumped into a brunette man in a dark suit. Probably one of the Mullers? Nah this one was probably a Blake. 

“Sorry.” she muttered as the man frowned at her.

He didn't even wait before she'd left to resume his conversation. 

“So you think it was an assault?” The man asked.

Porscha's eyes widened but she stayed silent and listened in, unnoticed as she stood by the food table.

“There are rumors. The autopsy showed signs of struggle and she was pregnant when she died.” Another man said, swirling a glass of wine. “Seems like the so-called daddy's girl got a secret boyfriend that took advantage, and got her pregnant. No wonder she did what she did, couldn't live with the shame. 

If I was Mr. Whitaker I'd be so disappointed.”

It took every bit of strength she had to not crumble in the middle of the living room. 
Proscha saw red at those words repeating them in her mind like a hellish mantra.

‘Pregnant …Leah was pregnant and he got her pregnant! How?! She knew how to figh- The struggle signs…She tried to fight him off! He couldn't get to me so he got to her! That bastard! He got his own daughter pregnant, his own daughter! He raped his daughter! And he lied to everyone here about it! She couldn't tell us…’

There was no time to waste. With Leah gone she knew she was the next target, and if her stepsister couldn't fight him off then in time that monster could get her as well.

She wasn't going to risk it. She had to get out. But the fury consumed her and she was ready to burn this place down to the ground. 

Her anger moved her like a puppet, and Porscha grabbed the punch bowl from the table, tossing it at the imbecile who'd said those vile things. The man was likely one of the Chaddingtons. ‘Good, not even their son stuck around with them!’

Amidst the yelling and confusion she ran upstairs and rushed to her room. Her pack was done. Important documents, credit transcripts, picture albums, all her savings, her clothes and comfort items, and now a tiny box with Leah's ashes that she and Cameron had snuck out of the urn. It was all there. She closed it and put the pack on her back, switching her heeled shoes with her converse and getting ready to run.

Just as she readied her brass knuckles, Keith threw the door to her room open.

“You mind explaining what you just did?!”

She glanced at the man with nothing but pure unadulterated hatred. He took a step back as she rushed toward him, jumping and striking him hard in the face with brass knuckles mid air. It was enough to break his nose and draw blood.

He had no time to react or push her away. She punched three more times as she screamed hysterically. She felt Celia's arms try to pull her off, but she just directed a strike at the woman, so reminiscent of the ones she'd given her for years. It was oh so satisfying to hear her scream. 

The same man she'd bumped into tried to pry her away from Keith. Again she just proved anyone in her way would be taken down. She struck this one in the stomach, knocking the air from his lungs

‘Ah the Blake son, shouldn't you be out there running daddy's company? Get your hands off me!’

She stepped on Keith's throat one last time before anyone could stop her. Then she ran back to her room and locked the door. Copying Leah, she pushed the vanity in front of it, buying herself some time. She then looked out her window.

‘That's the only way out.’ Porscha rationalized.

Taking a deep breath she opened the window and climbed out, with her sheets as a rope. The idiots didn't think to wait for her outside, focusing on breaking down her door and the commotion upstairs.

She rushed toward the cars and chose one at random. It was easy to break the window open with the heavy pack. In the driver's seat she began hot wiring the car.

‘C'mon! C'mon!’

Once she had power she rushed out of the manor gates and drove as fast as she could all she needed to do was get to the station.

It took her little time once she was on the highway. To not attract suspicions she drove within the speed limit and kept a calm expression. 

Two blocks before the station she abandoned the car and ran on foot. If the car was reported as stolen and these morons tried to piece together where she went they'd drag her back and she'd lose it all.

“One way ticket to Chicago.” She asked the seller.

The tired man didn't look up at her. “150.” He said.

She fished out the money from her pack and paid. Miraculously for her the bus was two minutes away.

Porscha only breathed out when she got on the bus and saw it depart. It was nearly empty and no one cared to look at her or question a teenager with bloody hands.

She cried silently, just as she did whenever Celia hit her and wouldn't tolerate the crying. The weight of it all finally hit her and she fell apart.

It was supposed to be her and Leah running off. Cameron would follow once his father gave up on looking for them. They were going to leave together but…but Leah was dead and only Porscha could run away.

‘Hey, I didn't leave you. You're in the Summerlands and I brought your ashes with me…’ 

Her promise hadn't been broken.

After the trip she got to Chicago and knew the address by memory. She didn't want to risk writing it down and it being discovered.

Proscha walked to her destination with red puffy eyes but a smile on her face. No one would find her here.

The house looked just as she'd expected. Beautifully decorated and painted cream with red tiles for the celing. She knocked on the door.

She was greeted by a familiar face. 

“Porscha?!”

“Hi Sen!”

Her old classmate smiled as he pulled her into a hug. He had grown even more since she last saw him at his graduation. Sen might be only a year older but he certainly could take down people twice his age.

“I was expecting you next year!”

“Things got messy. Would it be okay for me to drop in early?”

“Of course! Mom and Dad will take care of everything.”

Within the hour she had a room, a warm dinner, a long shower, and was ready to sleep. Now that she was safe it was time to say goodbye.

She reached into her bag for her burner phone and called Cameron. The man immediately answered.

“Cha-cha! I was sick with worry! Gods, are you okay?”

“I am. Are you alone?”

“Yes, everyone is out looking for you! For safety’s sake please don't tell me where you are. Just…tell me you have everything you need. That you'll be fine.”

“I shall be. I am safe and cared for…I need to know if I'll see you again.”

“I'm not changing my number, ever. You can call me whenever you want for anything. I'll be out of here soon.”

She debated on revealing the truth to her stepbrother. Unlike Leah he hadn't suffered assault at the hands of his father, and had the ambition of taking over the man's businesses alongside his twin. 'Daryl is greedy. It's best if Cameron inherits...' However Cameron would believe her even without concrete proof. ‘But what does it solve?’

Without any proof the authorities would do nothing for Leah, or for her. Worse so, Cameron losing it at his father could cause trouble for him, he was no teen but an adult that could be tried for battery or even committed to a facility. 

‘Not yet, I'll let you have justice when we may all stay free.’

“I will…But for a long time I won't leave a trace of me near. So until we speak again I want you to know that I am grateful for everything you did for me and for Leah. I love you and I hope we can meet again someday. Thanks for everything Cam, I'm rooting for you. I love you.”

“Thanks Cha-cha. I'm grateful to have met you. You're my sister too, and I am hoping you're happy wherever you go. I love you too and I'll be here for you when our paths reconnect.”

After that they said goodbye and silence flooded the room.

She'd have to wait until she was eighteen to resume her studies, but for now she had to work and lay low.

‘Nursing school, wait for me. Mama's got other plans!’

June 9th 2009.

“There, you're ready.” Louise said with a beautiful smile. 

Reynold smiled at his reflection. Even now that he was twenty-six he looked like the vivid image of his beloved mother. Same eyes, ebony hair, and perky nose. 

He wore a black tailor-made suit with a dark blue tie that accentuated his eye color. Today was the day he set out as an agent. ‘Thanks for the gift, Jules’

“Merci mama, you made sure I look stunning. I am very excited!” He told her with a loving hug.

“No hug for dad?” Reginald asked from the doorway.

Reynold went over to his side and hugged him. His father chuckled and patted him on the back. “Good luck, out there son.”

“Thanks dad. I swear I'll make you both proud.”

“You already do. Just…are you sure this is what you want?”

He wasn't. His passions would always and forever lie with acting. But if his last name wouldn't allow it then he'd do the next best thing and help others shine as they deserved to.

“I am sure. I can enjoy the spotlight even if I am not under it.”

February 15th 2011.

It was the worst day of his life, when Chiara Candore took her last breath. Fabio knew she wasn't his mother, or even a grandmother but she felt like a real family member to him. More real than the father who beat him when things went wrong or the brothers who saw him as nothing but an obstacle to being head of the family once Giovanni passed.

He stayed near the casket all through the funeral but didn't say anything. Every loving word, hug and show of gratitude had been said and given in life. For now he just wanted to remember the face of the woman who cared for him since infancy. ‘Perhaps she and mama are reuniting…Please tell her of me. I hope she approves. Rest easy now. I love you.’

“I'm sorry.”

Fabio turned to his side and saw a familiar face. The youngest recruit of the ‘family', Stefano Mancini. The man was eighteen just like him but slightly taller with pretty brown hair instead of blonde and green eyes. Fabio found him quite cute. Not that he'd ever say it out loud.

“Thank you. She was quite dear to me.” He said,  grateful for the condolences.

“If you ever need to talk or want company, let me know. You're a dear partner in crime, Fabio. I want to be there for you.”

He wasn't sure if it was the hand upon his shoulder or the beautiful smile the man showed but Fabio could feel as if Cupid himself had shot him with an arrow through the heart.

“Thank you.”

There was no hiding the red on his face now. ‘Chiara nonna and mama must be laughing at me.’

May 30th 2012.

Between being a Wendy's employee and joining underground fight clubs, Porscha preferred the fights.

A smack to the face was easier to avoid than a rude customer tossing a frosty at seemingly terminal velocity. Plus she made more through fights either way.

‘This one is taller, but she's going at it with everything right after the chime of the bell. I need her to tire herself out and then I can focus on offense.’

After five years she had this all down to a science. Sen had made sure to train her for fights and helped her build muscle. ‘It's how I got the bullies off my back.’ He told her with a smile.

Both she and her friend had changed their looks with age. While Sen now looked like an action star and had cut off his long ponytail, Porscha cut her hair to a pixie style and dyed it purple. ‘In case the bourgeois come to mingle here and recognize me.’ She'd said, though the look was very cute too.

She analyzed the movements, fought defensively, and the second she saw a vestige of tiredness on her opponent she attacked. Not enough to permanently damage or gravely injure, these people weren't the enemy, this was just a job. Still, she was unbeatable and losing the streak would mean a paycut. ‘Nothing personal doll, but I have to take you down.’

One to the shoulder, two to the legs, she could land a safe blow to the face if she was cautious. Yes that worked! Her opponent was growing slow, okay now the torso, not too hard but maybe knock the air out of her for an easy knock out. 

Right, just like that the taller woman fell and the bell chimed again.

“Amethyst Malice wins again!” Sen announced and the crowd cheered.

She cleared the arena and received payment for both the victory and the fight. “Need a smoke, boss.”

“Sure thing, doll. Yer cut tonight don't wanna overdo it.” Ran told her.

The man wasn't just her boss but also Sen's father and her most kind host all this time. She wouldn't dare move an inch without consulting him, not after he and wife had been much better parents than Celia.

Her money was counted and in her sports bra as she lit up a cigarette in the back of the warehouse. 

The night was dark and cloudy but agreeable. She inhaled and then exhaled softly as she relaxed. ‘Should I place applications before the nursing listening exam? I finally graduated college, and after passing the exam I should be good. One or two more fights and I might start looking for an apartment as well.’

For one brief moment in between the night air and scent of ash she was free to take a breath. It had been such a long and tiresome road but she was almost done with her dreams realized. ‘We did it Leah.’ Porscha thought as she grasped her triquetra necklace. A few years back she had infused the amulet with Leah's ashes, taking her everywhere she went. 'At last, some peace.'

“Amethyst!” An angry voice shouted.

She turned and saw a trio heading toward her. ‘The attire and stance suggest mobsters. Fuck!’

She eyed up each of the men like opponents in a fight, looking for weak points and things she could explain. They were older, one had a cane, another had his hand in his pockets which suggested blades weapons. So far no gun. ‘Good no amount of fighting skills will save my skin from that.’

“Evening gentleman, may I help you?” She asked politely.

The courtesy was not returned for one of them was quick to try and strike her. Porscha spat out her cigarette and blocked the strike. “Okay so that's what we're doing, mind telling me why?”

“We bet a lot of money on our girl and you knocked her out! We can't leave ya alone!”

Ah, the ones making shit bets and getting mad. Now why would you bet against an unbeatable foe? Regardless, she wasn't going to ruin her peace.

“Alright, then allow me to pay you with my winnings and no one has to get hurt. sound fair?” Porscha suggested.

“No can do.”

Their loss. She wasn't dumb enough to take three on one so with a swift kick she knocked out her first assailant ready to charge at the other two.

Two opponents at the same time was overwhelming but she managed to hold her ground until the blade came out.

‘I don't have my brass here. Fuck! Maybe I'll let them get at each other!’

Unfortunately for Porscha the pair seemed to be experienced in fighting together. And in one miscalculated moment she ended up overwhelmed and restrained on the ground.

She struggled to break free but clearly heard them speak as one of them tried to sedate her with a chloroform rag.

“If she cost us that much on the bets we can have her pay another way.”

She didn't escape Keith all those years ago to suffer this now. Not with Leah still upon her neck.

Porscha held her breath, remained still except for her head and used all her force to headbutt the man restraining her in the groin. When he screamed and let go of her arms she quickly rose up and sunk her fingers into the other man's eyes. He cried out and she wasn't sure if she got him but there was blood on her hands.

There'd be more as she quickly looked around and found what she needed. The blade was on the ground and she didn't hesitate to take it.

Porscha knew she could run, that even if this was self defense in lawful technicality she was safe from charges for battery or assault. After all, they'd try to attack her first. But hearing those words and that intent behind them was enough for her to decide she wouldn't leave them alive.

First the blind one, one swift cut to the throat and the blood spurred out as he choked on it. The other one saw what happened and wanted to stop it but she shouldn't let him crawl away either.

As she stabbed him in the chest the man was taken out by a perfectly shot bullet. She turned to the side to see Sen and Ran. The older man had a firearm and had taken the lethal shot while his son rushed to check her.

“Are you okay?! We panicked when everyone else left and you didn't come back.”

“I- I think I'm okay now.” She said,

Ran tapped the bastards with his foot, only one was alive. “Two are out. The knocked one will squeal. Do I dispose of him too?” He asked.

“I…I don't know. Maybe? He didn't try to- but I…I don't know.”

“Yer shaken. That always happens on the first kill. It's okay, I can take care of this. Might’ve retired but I kept the trades and the boss said I can call him for anything.” Ran said. “Sen, ya gonna have to move those plans a bit ahead. You two pack up and go tonight. Manami will understand.”

“Okay. C'mon, we have to go.”

The ride back home was blurry. How did a single moment of tranquility spiral into another fight and escape?! Why did tragedy precede her?! When was she to stop running?! Where was the peace she wanted?!

Sen took her hand as he drove. “It's okay. It was self defense. I can only imagine what they tried to do, losing bets makes even the nice ones unhinged, mobsters are worse.”

“I could've let them live, but I killed them…I don't regret it. I don't feel guilty. It's scary.”

“Is it? You've been living with us for years now and you don't care that dad is an ex-yakuza.”

“That's different! Your dad chose his own path and retired from it. I just graduated as an honored nurse, Sen! I'm supposed to save lives, not end them.”

“Then think of it this way, those fucks would've hurt someone else if you let them go. You did what you had to. You protected people. You saved lives that could've been ruined.”

Maybe… Maybe he was right.

“Thanks Sen. I know I can always count on you.”

“No problem, diva. Now let's get home and pack. We have a flight to catch. Authorities can't find us around for a bit.’

“Where are we going?”

“LA. I have a friend there, Penelope LaCroix. She said I could move in with her once I was ready to start a stuntman career. I texted her before we left and she has room for you. Trust me it's like having a fashionista older sister.”

That sounded nice. To run and live by the beach, the up and coming stars, the buzzing city…It wasn't such a bad idea.

‘Leah, we're going to the city of angels!’

March 15th 2013.

Beware the Ides of March, many an art piece had said. Half a world away, one that he would in time come to know as a sister was mourning a death from years ago. But today it was his turn to suffer and his Ides to bring him hurt.

For two years Fabio had been careful. He'd befriended Stefano, carried out jobs with him, and now they went on secret rendezvous at the other man's behest.

Perhaps he was caged by the same restrictions as Fabio. Though Stefano said his parents were very kind and loving. ‘They'll love you too.’ 

He really hoped that was right. If not the parents, maybe he had other homophobic relatives or perhaps he was just scared? No matter, he'd be there by his side for anything.

They met under the cherry blossom tree at the back of the manor. Stefano smiled and waved at him under the fading sunset. “Mio caro, I was growing impatient!”

“Sorry love. I let my mind wander. Are you done for the day? Injured? Do you need anything?”

“I just…I need to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“Fabrizio, we've been friends for two years and together for one. In all that time you've never once told me you love me, or that you will tell your father, you haven't even kissed me! Feels like I'm just an experiment.”

“No you're not! I could never do such a thing!” He quickly denied. “I…I'd want nothing more than to tell the world you're my boyfriend and take you on cute days and…be happy with you.”

“Then why don't you?”

“Stefano, please! You know my father! What he'll do to me if he knows. I've had to spill so much blood to remain safe I can't…”

Stefano nodded and closed his eyes. “Then just reassure me once. Kiss me, tell me you love me just this once and I'll stay with you forever.”

Fabio swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if he should do this, but the moment he saw Stefano turn to leave he grabbed his waist and pulled him into a kiss. The man was surprised but returned the gesture. ‘I never thought my first kiss would be so dramatic.’

The moment they pulled away he smiled and said the words he'd been keeping secret for quite a long time. “I love you.”

Stefano smiled and hugged him whispering something in his ear. “I got you.”

His eyes snapped open and he was pulled away from Stefano by none other than Giovanni.

“What?! What the fuck?!”

Stefano's sweet face distorted into a steely expression as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled out a wire.

“Thought you could hide from me, huh?! That I wouldn't find out you were a worthless fag?! 

I asked Stefano to prove it to me when I recruited him, that I wouldn't settle for anything less than full admission, and look, I was right!”  Giovanni said as he pushed him to the ground and kicked him in the ribs.

Fabio knew what awaited yet all he could do was stare at the man he loved. “Stef, why?”

“Nothing personal. I wanted to rise up in the ranks. Is there anything else you need, boss?” He asked. 

“No Stefano, you may go. I'll send you the payment as you vacation. Congrats on a job well done.”

“Thank you. I try.” Stefano said with a laugh. “Ciao, mio caro.” He said to Fabio

A mockery of his pet names, of his adoration, of his love. Love? No it was all a lie! Just a lie for a job. How pathetic was he to let this happen?! How did he give in so easily?! And why did his chest hurt before the torture even began?!

He didn't know. Perhaps the worst torture of it all was to see Stefano walk away with a wicked grin.

Fabio blacked out after that, waking up in the dead of night in his room with scars, bruises and an aching body that had been beaten and battered to the brink, still reeking of blood.

If he didn't leave tonight. He would die here. Like his mother, like Chiara, like some of his half siblings. ‘No, I refuse!’

Through the agony, he slowly moved and walked to the bathroom, he washed away everything, trying his hardest to look inconspicuous. 

The bruises on his arms and legs were easy to hide with clothing, the one on his eye he'd have to make do with. 

‘I can only take the money on my account. It's not as much but if I steal jewelry he might find me quicker…’

To any god that listened he prayed he could make it out of here. He'd chosen the states as a proper destination, he'd go wherever the flights were cheapest. 

Fabio took a duffel bag filled with casual clothes and one suit. The shoes he'd get once he left and for sentimental value he only took his pictures with Chiara. The ones with Stefano could fade to obscurity or hatred. ‘I wish I could get mama's photo.’ 

Yeah why not? He either made it out tonight or died. Might as well take everything that was his.

In the dark cold office he snuck around. Giovanni and the majority of the others were gone. After all these years Fabio remembered the drawer and the paper that had his mother's ‘information’ as a sick trophy. Though not as sick as the other trophy he found. It was his mother's jade bracelet. 

Would it be reckless to take it? Yes. Was he going to do it anyway? Of course!

Fabio took his belongings and made his way downstairs. The manor was empty save for the staff and he'd learned to identify where people were just by listening. The coast was clear but that wouldn't last all night. 

Fabio ran as fast as he could towards the front door, toward freedom, toward a better life. ‘Perhaps I should've done this when nonna Chiara left…’

No, he could regret it on the plane. Every painful step and movement endured now was to be precise. Walk out, knock out the guards, take the car. Stop by the bank, empty the account and take everything. Then take a plane to the states.

And so he did, even if he wasn't sure if Lorenzo saw who knocked him out or if he fumbled with the card. Fabio took what he could get, ready to rush towards the airport.

‘No speeding, we don't need the policia cazzo to ruin this!’

By the time he reached the terminal he felt like passing out, but it wasn't until he was seated on first class to LA that he could properly breathe again.

He'd done it. He was out of that manor, he  left any tracker behind and paid for his ticket in cash. No one would follow, not that he wanted them to. He was free.

‘Now how to make good money in LA? Hmmm…Might as well give free reign to everything I've held back for years.’ He thought with a smirk.

September 10th 2015.

“24601, also known as Sergei Romanov, will be tasked with observation of the target. Once he determines if it's necessary to carry out assassination we shall choose who's to carry it out.”

Sergei saluted as the older organization members bid him farewell and he ventured on his first mission outside of Siberia.

‘At long last, sun, plants, people, the great beyond he'd never seen before…’

Sergei wasn't sure if he should feel guilty for wanting this so badly. After all, his mission was to assassinate a man if he deemed it necessary. But he wanted to see Moscow so badly. He wanted more than endless cold and grey. Thus all he had now was his ‘family’ and his job.

What was this job of his? Since infancy he'd been trained to fight, kill, gather information, protect and deceive. Dimitri said they were the Neo KGB, even after the KGB was dissolved in 1991 and…many of the adult staff ‘left’.

They still operated as espionage intelligence but avoided the official government authorities and opposing agencies from other countries. So then, what were they?! Not in favor, not opposed yet running from every other force.

‘Maybe one day, I'll figure it out.’

September 11th 2015.

It was green, green and sunny with flowers in every corner and colorful houses and businesses. The air smelled like garlic as they passed the restaurant area, the birds chirpped and he could hear people having conversations on the street and the radio playing beautiful music. 

The clothes were beautiful, oh and there was a bookstore, and the children ran and played rather than train. Oh it was lovely!

Sergei wanted to stick his head out the window and bask in it. He was out of Siberia. He was in Moscow. He was going to experience everything he had longed for!

September 17th 2015.

The apartment was far more colorful and cozy than the room he shared with Ivan at the facility. His target was a former member of the Neo KGB operative, an older gentleman that lived in the building across from him here in Moscow. Dimitri was concerned that the man would alert the government of their base in Siberia before he passed of old age.

Sergei took to finding a job and looking as a model citizen would. He was polite, quiet, and was ready to face whatever came his way. In order to demonstrate normalcy he even enlisted himself for a pen pal program. That would allow him to receive mail and make everyone think it was bills, despite living on the organization's dime.

‘I hope it works. I wonder who I'll meet.’

September 20th 2015.

No suspicious activity from their blank. But he'd received a letter. ‘So quickly?’

He was very curious even if the letter was from California, USA. ‘Dimitri would hang me for this,’ he mused.

Sergei opened the letter and saw messy cursive handwriting. His English was better read and written than spoken.

Esteemed Sergei:

Hello! I am Porscha De La Rosa, a nurse from Los Angeles. I've chosen to write to you since I thought it'd be nice to choose someone that's the opposite of me. You live in icy Russia while I live in sunny LA. You're a soldier and I am a nurse. You like classical music and I live for heavy metal. I think it'd be fun to learn from one another! Write to me soon if you'd like for us to resume. I leave you with some photos, and the hope that I hear from you again in time.

Your (hopefully) new friend,

Porscha.

He didn't expect much but was intrigued by the seemingly energetic woman who wielded this pen. He then saw the photographs and gasped.

The woman was beautiful. She had tanned skin, light brown hair and pools of onyx black for eyes. She wore red lipstick in almost every photo, and smiled brightly. He noticed a Wiccan necklace upon her neck too.

There was a photo of her in front of the Hollywood sign. Another of her in her nursing uniform holding a newborn baby in the maternity ward. The third was of her with a group of friends at a concert for everyone was making horns and was dressed in a punk style.

He chose to write back, with his pale face turned pink and a slight heartburn in his chest.

‘That's odd.’

Sergei took a pen and began to write

Esteemed Porscha:

I am happy to know you're interested in a cultural exchange and in a friendship. You look lovely in all photos and I'd be happy to discuss any topics you'd like. 

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Sergei.

He took the old Polaroid he'd been given alongside the letter and an envelope. It would be wise to take joyful photos in pretty landmarks.

He probably could make it to Saint Basil's cathedral before his shift.

September 23rd 2015. 

Porscha: It's nice to hear from you again! Oh so you're in Moscow? That is so cool! It's such a beautiful place. What's it like to live in Russia? Cold, I assume. Are the people friendly? Do you go to the opera often? I've always wanted to go! Would Deftones substitute? It's not the same but their albums are operatic in feel to me. Hey, how's soldier work going? If you feel bad I can give you tips!

Sergei: Moscow is beautiful. I was recently deployed here by my superiors. I haven't seen much of it as I am here for work but it is lovely. The people are indeed friendly…I'm very introverted but it's fun to meet new people. I love opera but do not frequent it. As for your tastes, I will look up those bands you love and see if I enjoy them as well. Work is slow but I think I'll make progress soon. Yes do become a medical guru for me, I value my health. 

What about you? What have you been doing? Still in the maternity ward? You seem rather fond of children. That is very sweet. I don't often care for them, perhaps because I intimidate them. I am sending you more landscapes of snow to soothe you from the warm weather.

*The letter has various pictures attached, one of them was a selfie.*

September 25th 2015.

Porscha: Lovely to hear! Ohhhh wow I love all the photos. You look handsome by the way, very tall! I hope this means you're getting proper nutrition! If you're going to follow the bands then start with Breaking Benjamin, then Deftones and oohhhh I think you'll love Within Temptation! Those are three of my favorites. I'll go see the Aida opera with my friend Julian in exchange! We will get pictures for you!

*Various pictures are sent with the letter, of both the opera and of Porscha*

Sergei: I am…um delighted you think I'm handsome. I never considered myself as such. You look lovely as always, more so in elegant attire. Did you dye the top of your hair purple? It suits you! I have listened to the bands and enjoyed them all. You have refined taste!

October 4th 2015.

Sergei: I know we often talk of our tastes and cultures. I deeply value this but I need to speak with you of a slightly more delicate matter, Porscha. It worries me greatly and you're the only person I feel would give me unbiased counsel

Porscha: Sure! Whatever you need, I am here for you!

October 7th 2015.

Sergei: How did you know what you wanted to do with your life? I am having doubts as to what I should do going forward. All my life all I've known is my job and my home but now I am slowly seeing more and more of the world and I…I want to explore other options. I am just not sure if it's worth jeopardizing everything for. I don't think I'd have anything left if I ever chose to start again.

Porscha: It's taken me hours to think of a proper answer to give you. The truth is that while our situations differ greatly I completely understand how you feel. 

We tie a lot of our lives together where we grow, to the people that shape us and to who we are supposed to be. I had to leave the city I grew up in and then the place where I first felt free, both times things were uncertain. I wondered if going up from zero was even worth it, more so when there are debts I have yet to repay.

But I do not regret it. Not once. The people who love you, will want you to be happy. Staring over is scary but if you stay in your ‘comfort zone' you will never grow, you'll be stuck wondering what might've been and that is so much worse than the fear of the unknown.

You and I haven't spoken for all that long, but if you ever feel like leaving the snow behind, I have a place for you in my garden under the sun.

Wishing you clarity and love!

*this letter and all subsequent ones by Porscha are signed with her signature and a kiss of red lipstick.*

October 13th 2015.

Porscha: I am tired but happy. The truth is that a pain from the past haunts me. Death isn't pleasant and yet it chases me. I worry a lot.

My patients need me! People need me! And whenever I fail them it hurts! Seeing others die in my arms…I can't take it sometimes.

You can't save everyone. I know that. But I want to try…

Sergei: I've lost many too, to gunfire, blood, poison, time, the cold. I know the hurt that comes from it and the wish of providing comfort as they depart.

But you must take care of yourself before you care for others. Nursing is your dream and I want you to make your dreams come true, but if it hurts this much then…then perhaps consider other options.

I'll support you no matter what.

October 20th 2015.

Sergei: I read it all. Physics are so complex yet fascinating and oddly romantic. The quantum entanglement specifically is reminiscent of soul mates. Two particles once joined together will remain connected even between vast distances. It's enthralling to read about.

Porscha: It is! I knew you'd enjoy it. Hey…Would it be forward of me to say, quantum entanglement makes me think of us?

October 22nd 2015.

Sergei: Not at all. I feel like I've known you my whole life.

October 25th 2015.

“Sergei!”

“Ivan!”

The pair shared a hug in front of the building as the younger man arrived. He'd come to inspect mission progress and spend time with him, as his nearby operative was carried out.

“Come, I must show you the apartment!"

“You decorated?” Ivan asked, puzzled he was putting so much effort into the normality aspect of the mission.

“I did! You'll love it. Oh if anyone asks. You're my little brother.” He said with a smile.

Ivan smiled too. “Yeah, I am. Even without the missions, right?”

“Of course!”

After the small tour he planned to have a nice day out with Ivan. The young man told him of his assassination mission and how successful he'd been. Dimitri was proud and even the squad thought he was a natural despite being younger than them.

A part of him envied the sparkle in his eyes as he spoke of his mission and the organization. For despite his fondness for the people within it, Sergei never felt that way toward his work.

“You will go far. I hope I can protect you.” He told Ivan as they shared a meal.

“Promise?"

“I promise.”

He wasn't sure if he could keep said promise. But he paid it no mind when the band at the restaurant began to play, and after a few beers he and his brother danced.

For this small moment he could feel as if they were two normal siblings enjoying a joyful evening together. And not isolated outcasts with bloody hands.

October 26th 2015.

“You need to focus on the mission! Not on some woman!”

“I am focusing. He's done nothing from what I've seen!”

“He had company over, they could be plotting!” Ivan roared as he'd been spying on their mark all day, while Sergei followed his routine and was writing another letter instead of spying on their blank.

Ivan had found the letters on his desk, and the words expressed in them. He tried to pivot back to the missions, hoping Ivan wouldn't pay any mind to Porscha. But perhaps that was too late.

“Plotting?! That was his son, the man is eighty! He's going to die soon!” Sergei said.

“Fuck's sake stop acting like a lovestruck moron over the bronze bitch letters and do what we are here to do! No wonder it's taken you a month to respond! You're here drooling over a woman of the enemy country!”

Sergei had to muster all of his restraint to not strike at Ivan, but still the younger man still saw the rage in his eyes and stepped back, as if he'd been struck regardless.

“You…You’re in too deep! Sergei this was all meant to be a mere mission, your letters but a detail, a little realism to this act.”

“I don't want this to be an act!” Sergei sobbed. “Fuck Ivan don't you want more than what we have?! Don't you want to see the country, or even the world instead of just existing in the middle of nowhere?! I don't want to keep killing and deceiving to just live! I want to travel and work for my keep and live in a colorful home…We could do it. You and I can run and never look back! We can have a family!”

Ivan did strike him across the face. “The others are our family. Siberia is our home. You won't be saying anything else to that woman or I will report everything to Master Dimitri! Know your place 24601!” He said before storming out. 

Sergei pressed his hand against the pained flesh and wept. He didn't cry, not since he was an infant and yet tonight he let 28 years of unshed tears come out. 

Once he could gather himself he took the letters Porscha sent. Even the ones that had a print of her cherry red lipstick upon it. Her sweet kiss sent through paper.

He needed to burn them. He had to protect her and yet his heart sunk like a stone as he let flames consume the precious paper.

No matter. He remembered every word, and as her pictures turned to ash he committed her smiling fade to memory. ‘I won't allow harm to come to you.’ He swore.

Every letter he received afterward would be burnt after being read. Sergei wouldn't take any risks.

October 30th 2015.

Ivan left for ‘work’ and Sergei got ready. He waited until the man was gone to walk out and head toward the adjacent building knocking on the door.

Their elderly blank greeted him. “Dobroye utro, Number 24601.”

“Y-you know me?”

“I knew you as a baby before my departure from the facility.” The man explained. “Come on in. I assume you wish to talk.”

“My mission is to spy on you, maybe even eliminate you. Are you certain you wish to trust me?”

“I am, child. I was once like you.”

He was allowed to sit on the flower print sofa and given tea. The walls were covered with family photos and cute decorations and the living room at least was welcoming and vintage.

There was nothing ‘extraordinary’ about this man. He looked like a normal grandpa sitting down for a chat.

“So then, what do I call you?”

“Sergei Romanov.”

“Ah literary character and historical name. It has a nice ring.”

One second and he'd figured out the meaning of the name. Yes, this was one of them. Sergei took a breath. “Why'd you leave?”

“Is it not obvious? The KGB was disbanded in 1991. Resuming operations would've been illegal and I wasn't going to spend my retirement in prison.”

It confirmed some of his suspicions. He knew that the facility was illegally run and that many left because of it.

“Then why not denounce them?”

“Me and those who made it out of Siberia alive had to lay low for years. Eventually we told the government but they haven't been successful in shutting down the facility.”

Right, those raids. How many did he take down protecting something he never really believed in?! ‘I didn't have a choice!’ Well, now he has one. 

“I see…Then, you left without looking back?” Sergei asked.

“Unlike you or the younger members who lived on the facility I knew a life outside of it. The job wasn't my everything. So I left, or more like ran. 

Anyone who betrayed the organization was murdered.”

No. No! He knew that was a possibility but didn't want to consider it. Of course they were killed! He'd seen members who doubted their loyalty disappear during missions. ‘I must be cautious.’

“I wish to leave. How do I?”

“Use me. I am your target aren't I? You have until I pass to get your affairs in order and perhaps be rid of your associate if he might betray you. Then run. You don't have to stay, you have the false papers with your name. You may get further if you have a lifeline. Just run and never look back, Sergei.”

He could run. Run to the sun, to freedom, to Porscha…

“I don't know if I can betray my brother…”

Even after their argument he loved his brother, he didn't want to hurt him much less kill him!

“The fact that you show mercy towards a partner proves to me its best for you to run as fast as you can and seek out a better life. However, hesitation could doom you. Remember that.”

“I shall.”

“Good. Then Sergei, I wish you good luck. I'll do my best to provide you with time for your escape.”

“I appreciate it. Um…”

“Alexei, Alexei Mozarov.”

“Thank you Alexei. I'll try to protect you.”

“Worry not. My time draws near. I am ready.”

October 31st 2015.

Samhain. It was the night where the veil between spirits thinned and when Porscha celebrated.

‘A coven of one isn't all that fun. Maybe one day you'll come celebrate with me!’

He longed for it, despite never praying to any gods before, despite never once believing in religion, he was fascinated by the peace the thought of it all gave him.

Regardless, Sergei planned to celebrate on his own, he'd bought candles and incense the night before and was ready to have a small celebration before it was time to leave for bouncer work again.

Those plans fell apart when he saw them wheeling a gurney out of the front building. He didn't have to say anything. He knew as soon as he laid his eyes on a crying family.

Sergei rushed upstairs and saw Ivan looking out the window. The younger man smiled at him. “Mission accomplished. Dimitri said we shall leave in a few days.”

Sergei nodded, hiding his sadness and disappointment.

‘I can't leave just yet…’

November 1st 2015.

Dearest heart of mine:

This could be the last letter I send to you for I've just been deployed and do not know if I'll return. It would deeply hurt me to never read your words again, to never see your smiling face in photographs, to never once meet you. It all makes me ill! Porscha you showed me things I could only dream of! You are a delight to correspond with! I look forward to your letters as if they were precious gold! I…I adore you. You're my sweet Spring after the harsh Winter. 

I pray you find joy when I am gone. That you thrive as you deserve to and that you may achieve all of the lovely goals you are working toward.

I am sorry for coming into your life only to leave so suddenly afterward. This isn't the road I would've chosen if able. May we meet again in the Summerlands or the next life or entangled across the universe like particles.

With Love,

Sergei Romanov.

November 5th 2015.

Dearest Sergei:

I don't know if my words will reach you, or if you are already gone into the frost forever. The truth is your news have broken my heart. However brief this moment in time was, it was deeply precious to me too. You're a delight of a man, so handsome, wise and kind. I hope you make it, that you’re happy, that we may meet again elsewhere. 

Beacaue…you're precious to me too. You are so very deserving of joy, I can't even describe it.

Should you read this and…you still wish to keep contact with me. Call me.

All my love,

Porscha.

877-690-5402

He memorized the number and then burned the paper as he packed his things. It would be a long time before they let him out of the facilities again. He had to run as fast as he could when they did. But for now he'd keep his concerns a secret and pretend as he'd always had.

“It's time to go,“ Ivan said.

He nodded. Returning to the facility while dreaming of LA…

“Let's go home.” He lied.

So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars.
I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye.
The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone.
I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20: You're out of line, and out of time!

Don't over kill,
this painless thrill
It's bitter still,
your pretty pill
You wait until,
you've had your fill…
I know you will.
I know you will!

March 15th 2016.

Four months and ten days since he last had word of the Spring goddess that plagued his dreams. ‘She spoke of the dread this day gave her. Something about Julius Caesar...'

Was this his Ides of March? 

Sergei was woken up by his pager. It was 5:00 A.M. and he was sleepy. Still, he went over toward the office. Ivan and Dimitri were already there.

“Ah 24601! Good morning!” Dimitri greeted him. “You and 24610 will be heading out early for a new mission. One of our tanks was left at the riverside. Please bring it back.”

This was such a silly mission he was concerned as to why they'd ask them specifically and why they hadn't retrieved the tank earlier?

Sergei sneakily hid some essentials in his coat. Just as a precaution.

Ivan waited for him in the car, ready to drive them both and retrieve the equipment. “Couldn't this have waited until noon?” Sergei asked.

“Dimitri said we should handle it early.”

After all this time his brother was still icy cold toward him. (No pun intended) Sergei knew the man might've felt betrayed. They were each other's company for so long, he cared about him, he loved him like a brother, he would've taken him along for the ride if not for the fact that Ivan didn't seem to want that.

“I see…I am glad to be working with you again. It's been a while since we went on a mission together.” Sergei said.

“It indeed has.”

Whether Ivan was happy or sad over this he didn't show. He'd learned to mask his expression perhaps even better than Sergei had. ‘Please, don't shut me out!’

“Hey, about-”

“Whatever you have to say, I don't care to hear it. Please, don't make it harder than it needs to be.”

He couldn't understand, or even think of anything to say that could fix this so he simply let the silence fill the rest of the journey as his brother requested.

The semi frozen river Kolyma was before them as they got out of the car. Sergei squinted and tried to locate the equipment in the morning mist. ‘Wide rivers always feel more like lakes.’ He mused.

“I see it, we should drive acr-” The words died in his mouth before he could speak them for the second he turned his back Ivan had splashed him with a familiar substance that stung and burned away at the clothes and flesh upon his back. ‘Sulfuric acid?!’

Sergei fell forward with a loud scream. The snow broke his fall and he could do nothing but try to cling to it as the pain in his back spread and burnt.

“What the fuck?! What are you doing?!” He roared.

“Is it not obvious?!” Ivan asked. His voice was laced with anger. “I am carrying out my mission!”

This was a trap. He should've known, he suspected and yet he'd let his guard down. Alexei had warned him, he did! but the mere idea repulsed him! He wanted to leave, not kill the only family he knew. The sentiment however wasn't shared.

Even now Sergei struggled to speak, to keep his eyes open. ‘I should've listened and ran then. I should've. I'm sorry Alexei, your death was in vain.’

“Why?! Would they-”

“I told Dimitri what you said. That you wanted to leave. I told him you went to see Alexei, so they ordered me to kill him and bring you home. To wait until you weren't paranoid anymore and then we'd strike.”

Fuck he should've known! He'd been warned! He was cautious! He was calm! He…He thought they'd have mercy. What a joke!

“Why would you?!” Sergei muttered as he cried. “Why would you tell him?! We were brothers! That was the plan! That was our plan!”

“Plans have changed.” Was all Ivan said. “You were going to abandon us. No one leaves, not alive at least. You could say I'm doing you a favor. I'm giving you what you wanted.”

Ivan walked past him, standing at the edge of the river. Sergei struggled to raise his eyes and glance at him.

“I didn't want this! I wanted to leave with you! I wanted us to have a good life where we could choose what to do, who to be, where we were more than just numbers! I loved you…” He said.

“Did you?! Because this little dream of yours isn't what I wanted at all, not that you cared to ask! You just got out of the facility and immediately wanted to bolt! You don't care for our goals, our livelihood, our actual family, they were just a chain to you!

You'd leave me, Dimitri, and our companions all for a woman you've never met who's probably already forgotten you!” Ivan said, turning back with a gun in hand.

“Don't speak of her!” Sergei growled, struggling to rise. He fell forward again without standing.

“You see! One mention of this witch and you're practically losing it! Oh I should've stopped you from sending that first letter…No, what I really should've done is take those photos when I had the chance. Pity we can't track her down, Dimitri would've taught her a lesson!” 

Sergei mustered all of his strength to retrieve the gun he'd taken from his room. It was the only thing he could manage. If he died here he'd at least protect Porscha.

Ivan still turned his back to him unaware that feeble cold hands raised the firearm to precision and aimed at his chest. ‘You better not be as heartless as your actions.’ Sergei thought as he did what he should've done when first warned.

He shot, and it was as if all happened in slow motion. The gunshot, the cries of the spooked birds nearby, the disbelief upon Ivan's face as he saw the wound on his chest and then looking back at Sergei.

“I was told to betray you first…I didn't. Because even if I wanted to escape this icy hellscape, I wouldn't have dared raise a hand against you! You were my little brother, and you would've been so even if we walked different paths!

But I cannot allow any harm to come to Porscha, nor can I stay here for the rest of my life.”

Despite the icy cold both him and his brother had tears leaving their eyes as they bled. This time Sergei didn't hesitate to angle his gun towards the man's head.

“You…traitor!”

“I am sorry, 24610.” Sergei said before pulling the trigger again.

The light left Ivan's eyes as a second shot echoed in the tranquil riverside. His lifeless body fell backward onto the icy river and was carried away by the current.

Sergei felt his eyes grow heavy, and his heartbeat raced as the dark began to claim him.

‘I don't want to die…I want to go home. I want to see Porscha…’ He thought as he blacked out.

March 20th 2016.

Sergei woke in an unfamiliar wood cabin. He was upon a bed, and his aching back was stinging but bandaged.

“Where am I?” He muttered. 

“You woke up. Good.” He heard the voice of a middle aged woman as he turned to his side. She looked familiar with platinum blonde hair and the same icy blue eyes he'd remembered from a year ago. “Tatiana Mozarov, nice to meet you.” She said with a smile.

“You're Alexei's daughter…How?” He muttered.”

“Father knew Dimitri sent spies. When you came to him he called me and said to keep an eye out on the marked areas on his old map. I found you bleeding with acid burns and brought you here to nurse.

I have been living here and keeping an eye on the organization for years since my escape.”

Another one who made it out. There was hope…’If I had known I could've left without-’

Right. He'd shot Ivan down after the man betrayed him to the organization and tried to kill him. He didn't want to, he wished he hadn't but there was no taking it back now. He had to focus on getting home.

“Tatiana, how long have I been out?”

“Five days. Your wounds are healing adequately but they will scar. I'm not a healer so you should find one when you're able to stand.”

Healer, Porscha! He had to call her…

“I must call someone. When I go I'll go to her.”

“I had a feeling you'd say that.” Tatiana said with a smile. She handed him a phone. “Have at it, lover boy.”

He smiled and pressed every button from memory. He'd never forgotten, he'd never forget a thing she said.

877-690-5402

One ring, then another and afterward-

“Good afternoon! Porscha speaking!”

Her voice was lovelier than he could've ever imagined. After a months of no words from her upon the paper, hearing her was enough to nearly make him faint.

“Porscha?” He could only call out to her, hoping she'd understand even if his English was atrocious.

“Sergei?! Is that you?!”

She did. She could tell it was him. Was it the accent?! Nevermind that. She knew! She remembered! 

“It is me! It's been too long I've…I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too! Does this mean you're no longer deployed?”

“Yes. You could say I was given quite the dishonorable discharge.”

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear. You always spoke fondly of your family at base.”

“To be honest with you, I think the feeling was one sided. Regardless, I wanted to ask if your former offer was still valid. I'll be leaving Russia once I recover from an injury. May I stay with you?”

He could hear her squealing in delight from the other line. “You may! Stay forever if you wish to!

I am so happy to hear from you again! I was so worried! Yes, I'll start getting your room ready!”

“Then, I'll see you soon, my flower.”

“And I you handsome fella!” 

He couldn't stop smiling as he handed Tatiana back the phone. “It is done…I can go.”

“That is good to hear. But before you depart I must ask something of you.”

“Of course! You saved my life!”

Tatiana hesitated but made her request. “If you have your access card for the facility I'd like to have it.”

“I do have it. It's in my pocket. But why do you need it?” He asked.

“I've tried to enter the facility again for years. Without an access card I wouldn't be able to do so undetected. For you and everyone else who escaped to live in peace, the files they have of your information and numbers must be destroyed…and Dimitri must be taken down.”