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Location: Outside the River Styx
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It was a few days since we stepped foot in H Corp. to grab the Golden Bough here.
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Hong Lu being forced into becoming the Family Hierarch despite his clear disinterest brought a gigantic rift into my plans to make Jia Xichun an ally.
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I guess the curse of the Jia family was too strong for us or her to overcome.
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We were all standing close to where the river of immortality, also known as the River Styx, was supposedly meant to be.
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Xichun and her army held us back, Wei desperately trying to get Xichun to listen to him.
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Wei |
W-We do not have to stoop to this meaningless violence! |
Jia Xichun |
They backed out on our deal, Wei. The violence was given meaning since then. |
| Wei |
But they have not tried to harm us one time, my lady. Even with their orders, they do not mean any harm to us. |
| Jia Xichun |
True... but how long will that last?! I was born a Jia. Distrust was sowed into me since the first day I was conscious. |
Hong Lu |
I really, really don't care about having that Family Hierarch position, I promise~ |
| Jia Xichun |
You do! Stop lying! |
| Hong Lu |
I really don't~! I swear. If I could be Hierarch in name only and give the power to you, I would. |
| Hong Lu |
Power or no power, it makes no difference to me how I live my life. It's like... I've always had these strings attached onto me. Since birth, I was a tool. |
| Hong Lu |
And everyone's had their turn puppeteering me like I don't have my own voice or soul to manage. |
| Hong Lu |
So why try to fight to have that voice? I'm just going to be a pawn either way. |
| Wei |
Young Master... |
| Jia Xichun |
...How dare you make me feel pity for you, big brother. You could've killed me at any point during this discussion. |
| Hong Lu |
But I don't want to. |
| Jia Xichun |
I know. That's what makes me so angry. |
| Jia Xichun |
You just live so effortlessly. You aren't haunted by expectations or- |
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SPLASH!
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| Jia Xichun |
!!! Was that... |
| Jia Xichun |
Were you all distracting me for long enough so that I didn't bathe in the river of immortality?! |
Faust |
Faust wonders how you could've came up with that conclusion while we are all still being targeted by your men. |
| Jia Xichun |
Good point. But then who...? |
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While none of us were looking, it seemed like someone got to the River Styx.
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The answer on who exactly, however, would quickly be answered by electronic dance music playing.
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Heathcliff |
No. Fuck no. Are you kidding me? |
Ishmael |
Haaaah... Of course. |
| Jia Xichun |
Well, I guess that fully rules out whoever that jumped in there being one of your allies. |
| Jia Xichun |
...Wait, no, this isn't that Big Brother from the Middle you all pissed off, isn't it? |
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Coincidentally, the moment she says that, jumping out from the river's dwelling area comes Ricardo flanked by several Little Brothers.
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Ricardo |
The more I chase you all down, the further and FURTHER I slide into the world of the bristly... |
| Ricardo |
But no matter. The Middle's debts will always be repaid! |
| Heathcliff |
Oi, mate, not to piss you off any further, but your hair's looking a lot messier than it did after I snatched your hair coupons. |
| Ishmael |
Heathcliff. Shut up. |
| Heathcliff |
What?! I'm just- |
| Ishmael |
Shut up. |
| Ricardo |
That slight is getting added to the Book of Vengeance whether or not he decides to shut up, for the record. |
| Ricardo |
But he's not wrong! I did just come from an absolutely luscious bath in that river over there. |
Sinclair |
Y-You took a bath in the- |
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Outis immediately covers Sinclair's mouth before he could say anything, causing Ricardo to snicker.
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| Ricardo |
Do you thieves think I was born yesterday? Of course I'm aware that I was batheing in the river of immortality! |
Gregor |
...Oh no. |
| Ricardo |
Oh yes. |
| Gregor |
Oh no. |
| Ricardo |
OH YES. I'm sure you already know what this means! |
| Ricardo |
Now, NOW, I can keep up my vengeance until you ALL fall for good, your history known by nobody except the Book of Vengeance! |
Dante |
<Mmm. Mmmhmmm.> |
| Dante |
<Mmmmhmmmm...> |
| Dante |
<...Faust, on a scale of 1 to 10, how screwed are we?> |
| Faust |
25. We have a man with practical physical invulnerability that just bathed in the River Styx, giving him truly no weakness aside from one potential Achilles heel that we don't even know for sure is on his heel. |
| Faust |
We are stuck with him, Dante. |
| Dante |
<Wonderful.> |
Rodion |
All because you wanted to steal some coupons... |
| Heathcliff |
I KNOW you're not talking, miss "I got my whole town killed by the Middle because I wanted to feel special and eat the rich." |
| Rodion |
I hate that you're right. |
| Gregor |
So, uh, Xichun... is that alliance offer still on the ta- |
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But before we could ask her, she took off running with Wei and her men running behind her, bewildered by her decision-making.
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| Gregor |
Great! How fun. I hate this. |
| Ricardo |
You're gonna hate this fist hitting you right in your glasses in a second more, chainsmoker. |
| Gregor |
Fuck my life. |
| Ricardo |
Ah, sorry, can't do that, though! That's only for people who break Title 6, Section 9, row D, Line 3. |
| Sinclair |
...Why is there a- |
Ryoshu |
Don't ask. |
| Faust |
I cannot possibly understand how someone can make this much of a fuss over coupons. |
| Ricardo |
You'll know in due time, thief! In due time... |
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That was only the beginning of our struggles with Ricardo. Our many, many, MANY struggles with Ricardo.
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It seems like, much like a mosquito on a hot Summer's day, this motherfucker would just never EVER go away.
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Inside Lord Horikawa's Mansion
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| Ryoshu |
You. |
Lord Horikawa |
Oh, well, isn't this a pleasant surprise? Never in my wildest dreams did I anticipate you'd step back in here, Yoshihide. |
| Ryoshu |
N.M.I. That name died the night I finished the Hell Screen. |
| Lord Horikawa |
Ah, right. What do you prefer to be called by again... Ryoshu? It makes no difference to me. |
| Lord Horikawa |
You still carry that disdain within your heart, don't you? For the actions I did? |
| Ryoshu |
S.T.F.U. |
| Ryoshu |
All I wanted out of this stupid contract was to find you. To give you no chance for mercy. |
| Ryoshu |
The same courtesy my daughter lacked. |
| Lord Horikawa |
But what you do not realize is that you killed her yourself through your actions, much like you have dug your grave through your reactions. |
| Lord Horikawa |
Even if I hadn't paid off The Fingers, you would've found some way to get her killed through being, well, you. |
| Lord Horikawa |
At the end of the day, what I did was mercy for the poor girl, Yoshihide. No one should ever have the pain of being raised by a psychopathic miscreant like yourself. |
| Ryoshu |
Bastard... I'm gonna- |
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But before Ryoshu can finish her thought, Ricardo and Little Brothers from The Middle break through the wall, his music playing all the while.
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| Ryoshu |
Fuck's sake. |
| Ricardo |
Step aside, old man. Artist and her gang of thieves are mine. |
| Ricardo |
They've got debts to pay to the Middle, and the more they run from me, the more debt they EARN. |
| Lord Horikawa |
Y'know, technically, I'm supposed to be the one ordering you around. |
| Ricardo |
Don't fuck with me, man! I'll put you in the book too, I'm not playing! |
| Lord Horikawa |
Understandable, have a nice day. |
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Horikawa proceeds to get the hell out of this floor and onto higher ground.
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| Ryoshu |
Couldn't this shit have waited any longer? |
| Ricardo |
Nope. |
| Ryoshu |
Are you sure? |
| Ricardo |
YEP. |
| Ryoshu |
...I mean, I'll fight you if that's what you want. |
| Ryoshu |
But you coming in like one big fuckin' distraction kinda killed the mood. |
| Ricardo |
Oh, yeah, I get it. Couldn't exactly time when I'd come in, y'know. But you know what I can time? |
| Ryoshu |
Wha- |
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POW!
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| Ricardo |
That fucking fist hitting you right in the face. |
| Ryoshu |
...I'm gonna make a second Hell Screen entirely out of your guts. |
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N Corp. Courtroom, The Trial of Meursault
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| The Prosecutor |
So you see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the individual known as Meursault was entirely aware of what he was doing that day. |
| The Prosecutor |
Nobody shoots a man on accident! How does the sun get in one's eye and cause them to shoot five bullets out of a revolver, one that he had grabbed from his friend mere days before the event actually happened. |
| The Prosecutor |
Of course, this trial is not about the fact that Meursault murdered that man, but moreso the fact that he showed *no emotion* while doing so. |
| The Prosecutor |
No fear, no jubilation, no anger, no sorrow... Nothing. Nothing there at all. |
| The Prosecutor |
Meursault may be made of flesh and blood, but I allege that he's got something somewhere, perhaps within his cerebral cortex, that would qualify him as an AI. |
| Heathcliff |
Oi, the fuck is that bullshit claim?! Maybe that's because he was working under Hermann! |
| Heathcliff |
Maybe it should be her on trial instead! |
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The Judge slams his gavel.
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| The Judge |
I will have order within this courtroom! |
| The Judge |
Prosecution, you may continue. |
| The Prosecutor |
Thank you. |
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While that happens, The Sinners and I reconvene quietly, Ishmael and Outis looking right at Heathcliff.
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| Ishmael |
Haaah... Look, dude, I understand this looks bad for us right now, but you gotta keep yourself under control. Or we'll never get him out of there. |
Outis |
She's right. You have to keep it together, soldier. |
| Heathcliff |
While those jackasses put Meursault on trial? You do realize he could get the fuckin' death penalty, right? What then? |
| Faust |
We actually won't have to worry about that. |
| Heathcliff |
What makes you think we'll- |
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Ricardo kicks the doors of the courtroom in, his music playing as he does so. ...Why is he wearing a suit?
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| Ricardo |
Your Honor, I must state that this case is out of your jurisdiction. |
| The Judge |
On what grounds? |
| Ricardo |
The grounds of "because I fucking said so." Do you know who I am?! |
| The Prosecutor |
Sir, I have no idea, but could you please- |
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Ricardo punches Meursault's prosecutor so hard through the wall that I'm pretty sure he's comatose on impact.
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| Ricardo |
Done yapping? ...Finally. |
| Ricardo |
Now, as you can clearly see by the fact that my men have all of them surrounded, THAT asshole and his group are meant to be punished by the Middle and the Middle alone. |
Meursault |
... |
| Meursault |
I suppose it beats the electric chair. |
| The Judge |
We were gonna use a guillotine, actuall- |
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Ricardo punches the Judge through the window above the building and into the sky.
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He threatens to do the same to the jury and security before they use their survival instincts to get the fuck out of there.
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M Corp. Backstreets, Grocery Store
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| Dante |
<Hmm. For being an entirely Greek themed grocery store, this actually isn't too bad on snack selections.> |
| Dante |
<...Outis, why are you wearing a comically large overcoat?> |
| Outis |
I can't let them know I'm here. |
| Dante |
<Them who?> |
| Outis |
The people running this District. |
| Dante |
<Outis, I doubt they're gonna be dwelling in a grocery store in the Backstreets.> |
| Outis |
Executive Manager, you don't understand. The ones running this District are clinically insane. There is someone within this District that has been wanting me dead for years. |
| Dante |
<...Who?> |
| Outis |
Have you never heard of Poseidon??? |
| Dante |
<I feel like you all constantly forget that I am an amnesiac.> |
| Dante |
<And what could you have possibly done to-> |
| Outis |
Killed his son by accident- I MEAN- UH... |
| Outis |
Not important! It's not important right now, Executive Manager. You'll find out in my fathoms. |
| Dante |
<...Okay. Let's just send these snacks over to checkout.> |
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But as we get to the checkout counter, the cashier (who isn't facing us for some reason) turns a jukebox on.
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...It's playing the ELECTRIC DANCE MUSIC AGAIN, WHY?
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Outis and I immediately freeze in place and start very softly whispering to each other.
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| Outis |
There's no way it's that Big Brother from the Middle again, is it? |
| Dante |
<You mean Ricardo? 'Cause I'm pretty sure it is. What do we do?> |
| Outis |
This is going to sound insanely unintelligent, but as long as we stand here and do absolutely nothing, perhaps he'll think we're not even here and go away. |
| Ricardo |
I know you two are at the cash register, and I am not going away. |
| Outis |
...What is your issue? |
| Outis |
Genuinely, what is your damage? Couldn't you just obtain a new set of those "coupons" you fawned over enough to stalk us for months on end?! |
| Ricardo |
At this rate, it's not even about the coupons anymore. I'm just hating for the love of the game. |
| Ricardo |
That and the fact that you've accumulated about 20 more strikes in the Book of Vengeance on top of the coupon incident. |
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Outis reluctantly sighs and gives me her overcoat.
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| Outis |
Find a means of checking those snacks out and let me handle this, Executive Manager. |
| Outis |
I'm gonna have to show this imbecile the purpose of the odyssey. |
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She did not show him the purpose of the odyssey. She got jumped repeatedly, actually.
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Once the rest of the Sinners knew what the deal was, we ended up fighting in that store for about half an hour.
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Aboard Mephistopheles
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| Ishmael |
Guys, I can't keep dealing with this shit anymore. |
| Ishmael |
It's gotten to the point where that song is playing outside the bus. He's just blatantly following us now. |
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Ishmael, in a bit of a neurotic lapse of judgment, proceeds to grab Heathcliff by the collar.
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| Ishmael |
Why the FUCK did you think stealing coupons for your non-existent girlfriend was a good idea?! |
| Heathcliff |
Now hang on, hang on. I'll admit that it was a boneheaded play back then, and it is still boneheaded now. |
| Heathcliff |
However... if you've ever heard of the butterfly effect, I'm pretty damn sure I'm technically the reason why Limbus Company has that alliance with Jia Xichun and H Corp. after that whole Family Hierarch incident. |
| Ishmael |
MOTHERFUCKER, I don't give a shit about that! We don't see her helping us with this right now, do we?! |
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H Corp. Jia Family Estate
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| Jia Xichun |
Hmm... |
| Jia Xichun |
Wei. Being a Hierarch is soooooo booooooring. |
| Jia Xichun |
Almost all of my family's dead. What's the point if I can't even rule over my inferior siblings??? |
| Wei |
Well, what do you suggest we do about it, Miss Xichun? Technically, this honor isn't even supposed to be yours. |
| Jia Xichun |
Ugh. Don't remind me. |
| Jia Xichun |
My own damn brother, giving me a handout... How embarrassing. |
| Jia Xichun |
Maybe we should call up Limbus Company? Try and take over a District with them or something? What do Hierarchs even do??? |
| Wei |
Rule with an iron fist and make future generations weep over how badly their elders were treated, mostly. We're no better than monarchs. |
| Jia Xichun |
Wait, future generations... That's it! |
| Jia Xichun |
Fetch me the Bloodfiend. The short, gremlin-looking one from the bus department. I know how the Jias are going to live after almost all of my family had to be obliterated. |
| Wei |
She's on the bus right now, probably several Districts away. We don't even- |
| Jia Xichun |
We must find the Bloodfiend. |
| Wei |
My lady, don't you think- |
| Jia Xichun |
We MUST find the Bloodfiend. |
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Aboard Mephistopheles
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| Ishmael |
And you're ignoring why I'm pissed anyway! You did that for your non-existent girlfriend! |
| Heathcliff |
...Call her that again. I dare you. |
| Heathcliff |
Call her non-existent again like you didn't blatantly see her goddamn face back at the manor. |
Yi Sang |
Fellows, I believe now is a suboptimal time for an argument of this caliber. |
| Rodion |
Eh, if this conversation wasn't gonna happen now, then when? |
| Dante |
<No, like, seriously, Yi Sang's right. This is a bad time.> |
| Rodion |
Hmm? How do you figure, Dante- OH. |
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Ricardo stormed onto the bus while most Sinners were busy paying attention to the argument with Ishmael and Heathcliff.
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Ricardo has me in a sleeper hold from behind, trying to choke me out and cut off the circulation to my head.
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Which shouldn't be possible because I don't have a head.
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Yet regardless, it still hurts like hell and is hard to breathe...
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Vergilius and Charon are outside on company business we can't know about, so it makes sense that Ricardo took this opportunity while they're gone.
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Ishmael looks over and quickly lets go of Heathcliff, turning her attention to Ricardo. The rest of the Sinners do so as well, taking battle stances.
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| Ishmael |
Let our manager go. |
| Heathcliff |
And back the hell off while we're trying to have a fuckin' meeting, aye? Piece of shit. |
| Ricardo |
Ehhh... Nah. No thanks. |
| Ricardo |
I figured that this needed to end eventually, y'know? This back and forth's cute and all, but without your precious cheat sheet over here, the Middle can finally exact the vengeance that needed to happen months ago. |
| Ricardo |
And then, after the sins have been righted, I'll be able to ascend into the world of the luscious... to take my rightful place in greatness! |
Don Quixote |
If you dare lay another finger on Dante, the vengeance we shall extract will hit harder than anything in your blasted book! |
| Ricardo |
Fine by me! If you guys step any closer, I'll just rip the clock off their head and make it unrepairable so that we can have a fair fight! |
| Gregor |
"Fair fight" he says after swimming in the immortality river... |
| Faust |
There has to be some way for us to get out of this situation. Pardon me for a moment. |
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...Wait a minute. Hang on.
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Ricardo bathed in the River Styx, a river that grants immortality. But Faust had mentioned something specifically about that immortality that always interested me.
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Outside the River Styx, Flashback
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| Dante |
<...Faust, on a scale of 1 to 10, how screwed are we?> |
| Faust |
25. We have a man with practical physical invulnerability that just bathed in the River Styx, giving him truly no weakness aside from one potential Achilles heel that we don't even know for sure is on his heel. |
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Aboard Mephistopheles
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An Achilles heel that we don't even know for sure is on his heel... I have a really dumb idea.
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Using one of my free hands, I grab Ricardo's hair tightly and pull.
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| Ricardo |
AH! Fuck! |
| Faust |
D-Dante? What are you doing? This action could get you obliterated beyond repair, Dante. |
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There's not much to grab onto, but I manage to hold on to it enough for him to let go of me and run back to the Sinners, getting behind them.
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| Yi Sang |
Perhaps they've found the Achilles heel you had mentioned, Miss Faust. |
| Yi Sang |
And it's quite ironic if it is what I think it is... The same thing he's been wanting to fight us over being his weak spot would be quite ideal. |
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Ricardo stews in anger over being outsmarted, throwing his sunglasses into one of Mephistopheles's windows.
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| Ricardo |
You know what? Screw the Book of Vengeance at this point. |
|
Ricardo tosses the book through that same window, breaking it.
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| Ricardo |
I'm just gonna kill you all. Brutally! There will be nothing left. |
| Faust |
...You... You broke one of the windows of Mephistopheles. |
| Faust |
You broke. One of the windows. Of Mephistopheles. |
| Faust |
The bus I created. |
| Ricardo |
Damn right I did! The fuck are you gonna do about it?! |
| Ricardo |
It's a dumbass bus anyway. Who'd ever want to travel in this? |
| Faust |
... |
|
Faust rushes over to Ricardo with blazing speed, immediately pulling on his hair hard like I had done earlier.
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| Ricardo |
AGH! |
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With adrenaline pumping through her veins, she manages to throw Ricardo through the opening of the bus that he had created from breaking the window.
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Ricardo lands onto the concrete with a thud. Faust quickly follows, landing on him and pulling on his hair again.
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| Faust |
This bus is not a "dumbass". It was created by a genius and does not have the organs within it to qualify for being mentally challenged. To label it as such while putting our manager in danger to fulfill your petty grudge over coupons is insulting to Faust's intelligence and time. |
| Ricardo |
Damn... Shit, I might actually take that back. You've got the same amount of dedication to that bus as I do for my hair. |
| Faust |
You cannot possibly comprehend the amount of time and painstaking construction that went into Mephistopheles, down to the fuel it uses or the mechanisms its rooms have. Your false appreciation for it now will not save you. Your soul will be raptured and turned into Enkephalin for that "dumbass" bus to feast on like Thanksgiving dinner. |
| Faust |
You do not have any Great Brothers or Great Sisters to save you. You don't have a script to guarantee your success. You are doomed. |
| Faust |
I will fold you like laundry. |
| Ricardo |
...Hehehe. Hahahahahaha. |
| Ricardo |
Do you feel that? All that hatred in your soul? |
| Ricardo |
I told you that you'd know in due time how it feels. |
| Faust |
I am unsure of what you me- ...Oh my God. |
| Ricardo |
You understand it now, don't you? That thrill of vengeance a member of The Middle gets from wronging people who wronged their brothers and sisters. |
| Ricardo |
You and that bus have that exact same bond! We are one in the same now. |
| Ricardo |
And now that we have something in common, we're destined to do this FOREVER. |
| Ricardo |
You're TRULY stuck with me now! Even if I die, I'll forever be in your mind! |
| Dante |
<Cut his hair off.> |
| The Barber of La Manchaland Outis |
I'm not even that type of barber- |
| Dante |
<CUT HIS HAIR OFF.> |
|
Outis, in her barber identity, gets behind Ricardo and uses her scissors to cut Ricardo's hair.
|
| Ricardo |
AAAAAAAAA! FUCK! |
|
He passes out immediately after some snips are made. It's at this point that Vergilius and Charon finally show up.
|
Vergilius |
Do I need to ask why that window's broken? |
| Faust |
This individual, quite simply, fucked around and found out. |
| Vergilius |
Fair enough. ...It is probably best for us to get back in the bus before he wakes up. |
|
Oh, fuck, wait. I just remembered I told Outis to cut this man's hair.
|
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The very same thing that caused us to be stalked in the first place.
|
|
...
|
| Dante |
<DrivedrivedrivedriveDRIVEDRIVEDRIVEDRIVE!> |
|
We quickly leave the scene of the crime before Ricardo wakes up.
|
