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Chapter Text

As the king neared him, flanked by two guards on either side, their steps heavy and sending sand and small rocks flying in the breeze, Erwin stood up hastily from where he had been sitting on the ground in the shade of the tree, tucking away the book he’d been reading.

”My lord,” he said, straightening his posture.

The king stopped some distance away from him, his body much more withered than the last time Erwin had seen him, his heavy cloaks weighing him down even more. How he managed to still wear them in the sweltering summer heat, Erwin did not know.

”Smith, it’s a pleasure to see you again,” he said, voice deep and a little raspy, as if the king had a cough he couldn’t quite seem to shake.

Erwin smiled pleasantly, bowing his head out of respect. ”The pleasure is all mine, my lord,” he said, then ”I was told you wished to see me?”

The king did not reply straight away, his eyes instead staring away into the distance, hands clasped behind his back. The king was already an old man, rumors had even begun to spread that he had come down with some illness, that his death would cost them the war.

Erwin himself didn’t believe a change in leadership would be such a bad idea, but the king had no heirs himself and had yet to name a successor. It had many young men and women gathering into the capital city of Mitras, flaunting their achievements and enlisting themselves in the ranks of the military in hopes to catch the eye of the king.

At length the king turned back to face him, his eyes stern yet evasive, almost frightful. ”Yes, I have a task for you, Smith.”

Erwin said nothing, letting the king speak.

The king began to walk away, Erwin immediately following and falling into step beside him, the king’s guards walking three steps behind them, the metallic clank of their weapons and shields only mildly distracting.

Erwin himself was tall, much taller than the king, his eyes bright and blue, framed by thick brown eyebrows and his hair was golden, almost white in the sunlight and neatly cut and parted. Despite him being a scholar, Erwin still had considerable bulk on him thanks to his travels that afforded him a relatively active lifestyle, climbing mountains and stairs alike and always helping the locals with whatever tasks he could from farming to carrying barrels and loading ships.

Erwin had been sitting just outside of the bustling city, never having quite gotten used to the atmosphere in Mitras and instead avoiding the capital as much as he could, and he had assumed the king would lead him back towards the city, but to his surprise they instead kept walking further away.

As the king had yet to elaborate on what task he was assigning for Erwin, he decided to ask him instead. ”Why are we going towards the battle arena? Unless my lord has decided to recruit me for the army,” Erwin chuckled.

”That is where your task is,” the king said, cryptic, and Erwin decided not to ask further.

After a moment more of silence, the king turned to him. ”As you surely know by now, the war with Marley is expected to be a prolonged one,” he began, Erwin silently nodding along to his words, ”our troops have been at a standstill in both Trost and Shiganshina, with resources running low as it is.”

”Yes, I heard there had been trouble getting food and gear in and out of the cities,” Erwin affirmed, eyes fixed on the ground and his feet as they moved. Erwin was a historian by trade, wars of all kinds having interested him since childhood, his father always having taught him about the world they lived in in such a way that young Erwin had developed quite a love for it, having begun traveling as soon as he was old enough to do so.

The king only continued on, unheeding of Erwin’s remark. ”We need to win this war and fast, Smith, and we all know there’s only one way to end a battle as quickly as we need it to end.”

Slowly Erwin looked up from the ground, as the words registered in his mind, leading towards only one conclusion.

His eyes snapped towards the battle arena now already looming in the near distance, stone walls and observation towers reaching for the very sky itself.

”My lord, you mean…”

”Yes,” the king confirmed, looking directly at Erwin.

”I’m not sure how my lord has reached the conclusion that I may be of any help in this regard?”

”He hates all kings and their men, as that lot always does,” the king said with a sneer that twisted his face into an ugly grimace, pulling at his wrinkled skin and revealing yellowing teeth, ”and I’ve heard nothing of you but how charming you can be, Smith.”

”Well, I wouldn’t say—”

”Have you ever met an Ackerman, Smith?”

Erwin paused, mulling over what he knew of the Ackermans. They were an old clan, known far and wide across Eldia and even the other kingdoms, though often not for good reasons. Of course their skill in battle was the stuff of legends, but such a thing was often overlooked in the history books since the Ackermans were instead quite disliked.

It was not entirely without reason, either. The Ackermans were known to be fiercely loyal though awfully picky about where they placed that loyalty. Erwin himself had always deemed it smart, knowing the world they lived in, it didn’t do well to pledge one’s loyalty to just anyone. In recent history, the Ackerman clan had pledged its loyalty to a king only once.

As such, they were often blamed for any losses in battles and war, bearing the brunt of the criticism people had since it was often seen as their fault for not having stepped in to help as they ought to.

To the king, Erwin only said ”no, I have not, my lord.”

The king scoffed. ”Count yourself lucky,” he said, spitting the words out like poison, ”I’ve never met a more heinous group of people than those Ackerman dogs, but there’s no helping it.”

The king stopped Erwin with a hand on his shoulder, gripping him tight. ”You know the saying, ’all the king’s horses and all the king’s men—”

”—are no match for an Ackerman’, yes I’ve heard it.”

The king was looking ahead once more, scowling. ”Just one of those and we’d be set; the war would be all but over if we had just one Ackerman on the battlefield.”

Erwin hummed, thinking about it. It seemed impossible, such a thing. How could any one person be so talented or skilled they alone could turn the tides of war? It certainly didn’t seem likely. An entire clan of talented warriors surely could mean a huge difference in outcome, but just one? With a small almost inaudible scoff Erwin chalked the king’s words up to fanciful thinking or exaggeration.

The king turned to him once again, not minding his silence one bit. ”A prickly bastard, that one”, the king spat out, grimacing as if he couldn’t stand the mere thought of the Ackerman crossing his mind.

”You’ll really need to charm him, Erwin,” he continued, ”we’ll never survive this war without them.”

Erwin said nothing more as they soon reached the battle arena, a place owned by the Ackerman clan. It was seldom used, though the warriors of the clan sometimes held competition there amongst themselves, a victory in battle deciding who was fit to lead the clan.

Most other clans in Eldia were ruled by bloodlines, titles passed down from parent to child, but not the Ackermans. There was of course an old Ackerman bloodline woven into the clan, but as Erwin pondered about it he could recall that the hatred for Ackermans had reached an all time high some 100 years past, the ruler at the time having culled nearly all of the clan members, having forced the clan to run and hide for many years, only recently having made a return under the leadership of their previous clan head, whose name Erwin could not recall in the moment.

The distaste for the members had never left, the culling of their bloodline having forced the clan to adopt a more creed-like system, accepting people into their ranks who had no blood relation to the original Ackermans at all.

The king clearly shared the sentiment of his predecessors. ”If it were up to me I would’ve continued what was started and hunt them all down like dogs,” he sneered, ”but alas, these wars are endless and if nothing else, those dogs sure know how to kill.”

Erwin said nothing and silently the group of them made their way into the arena and up the old stone stairs into the audience, the sun beaming down on them, Erwin having to squint just to see what was happening on the stage below.

As they sat there, Erwin could faintly recall having heard some talk in the capital about how some new member of the clan had apparently challenged the current leader, thus causing the highest ranking members of the clan to have gathered at the arena, to see the duel.

Erwin had not paid much mind to the gossip at the time, but now he was leaning forward in interest, his forever curious mind not able to resist the opportunity to see such a renowned warrior fight.

In the middle of the arena there was a sandy battleground, the ground dead and barren from endless stomping of countless feet, the heated summer wind stirring up sand, sending it this way and that in tiny tornadoes.

There were two people standing there, one tall and another much shorter one, both men from what Erwin could see and soon they were taking their battlestances, fighting apparently done without weapons, which Erwin supposed made sense if the goal was only to assert dominance, not to kill or maim.

He could not tell which of the two men was the current clan head, but as the battle began, all such thoughts flew right out of Erwin’s mind, his eyes glued onto the shorter of the two, attention captured and held by every move of his lithe form.

He was a sight to behold, his wispy black hair flowing with the graceful movements of his body, the thump of his feet as he fought, dodged and attacked had Erwin enraptured, unable to avert his eyes from him at all.

Erwin could not move as he watched him fight, could scarcely breathe. The man’s face was all hard lines and cleanly cut angles, harsh and unyielding, but Erwin could already begin to envision the softness he could undoubtedly find hiding underneath his tough skin if he dedicated himself to the task. And Erwin had perhaps never wanted to dedicate himself to anything more.

What was perhaps more astonishing was that despite him moving almost faster than the eye could follow, his face was utterly calm, features not at all tensed with effort or grimaced with fatigue. He moved as if flowing through water, as if it all came easily for him. He fought like it was what he was born to do, like it was an art, nothing more than a brush gliding across a canvas, smooth and easy. He made fighting look beautiful.

It was the king who spoke next, pulling Erwin out of his reverie. ”That’s the one,” he said, nodding towards the dark-haired man Erwin had just been admiring, ”Levi Ackerman is his name.”

Saying his name seemed to be akin to pulling teeth for the king, the syllables leaving his mouth as if wholly against his will. ”That’s the one I want you to talk to, Smith.”

Still Erwin did not turn his eyes away from the man, from Levi. ”And may I ask what my lord is hoping for me to achieve by talking to him? Surely you’re not expecting him to bend the knee that easily.”

”Of course not, he wouldn’t kneel before a king even if you broke both of his legs,” the king scoffed, ”but I need you to try anyway, Erwin, whatever you can pry out of him; strategies, supplies, soldiers, anything at all— we need it all, and we need it fast.

”Even if he refuses to pledge his loyalty and enter the covenant, he can still be persuaded to lend some of his best fighters to our cause.”

Erwin hummed to show he understood, though from what the king had told him about the Ackermans and Levi himself, he had his doubts already. But Erwin found he wanted to meet Levi anyway, the man having utterly captured his attention, as if he was bewitched somehow and he knew he must speak with him at once.

”You may tell him whatever lies you want, Erwin, I know enough about you to know you’re a good con man,” the king started but Erwin hastily interrupted him.

”I much prefer to be called a strategist than a con man, if my lord doesn’t mind.”

The king chuckled. ”Of course.”

As the battle neared its end, Erwin still could not look away from Levi, watching as the smaller man tilted his head up towards the sky, eyes wide open and uncaring of the harsh sunlight that spilled onto his face and down the length of his neck.

He had won the battle of course, Erwin even figured it had only gone as long as it had because Levi had spent a considerable amount of time teaching and correcting the form of his opponent, which had brought a smile to Erwin’s lips each time he had done so.

As he and the king stood up, walking down the stairs and towards the battleground, they were almost immediately accosted by what Erwin assumed were other members of the Ackerman creed.

The pair of them stopped before Erwin and the king, baffling the former since he had yet to see such an open resistance to a leader, though Erwin reminded himself that the king had no power here, since the Ackermans had yet to yield. They were not wearing the king’s colors over their shoulders, fiercely holding onto their independence.

Over their heads Erwin peered at Levi, who was still talking to his opponent. His attention was only pulled away as the two Ackermans addressed them.

”We were not told the king himself would be in attendance today,” one of them said, a short woman with messy reddish brown hair, looking from Erwin to the king, ”and you are?” She asked, now only looking at Erwin, her hands crossed across her chest.

”Erwin Smith, a historian,” he introduced himself, holding out his hand for the woman to shake, which she did not.

”What do you want?” The man beside her asked, tall though not nearly as tall as Erwin, with an ashy shade of blonde hair.

The king gave them a noncommittal wave, dismissing them and turning around to leave. ”I only came to accompany Erwin here for the show,” he said, leaving.

At that, the two Ackermans turned their attention wholly to Erwin, who found himself slightly unmoored, caught off guard after being all but abandoned by the king like this. He was used to seeing the man as an authority figure, well liked and generally respected, and to see him treated so coldly and like he was nothing more than a common man had delivered a slight shock to Erwin’s system.

He opened his mouth to speak, thinking of ways to politely ask to speak to their clan head, but was saved the trouble when the man in question approached the three of them.

”What’s all this?” The man, Levi Ackerman, asked, face seemingly set into a perpetual frown, his eyes a stormy shade of sterling silver, thin lips downturned and head cocked to the side.

Immediately Erwin’s attention was on him again, taking in the way he looked from up close, his windswept hair and sweaty skin glistening in the sunlight. He was even shorter than Erwin had previously thought, barely reaching his chest if they were to stand right beside each other, though his body was still clearly defined by muscle, strong and lithe, just as Erwin had observed from afar.

The Ackerman girl turned to face Levi, her demeanor immediately less hostile. ”He didn’t really say, but he came here with the king.”

Erwin grimaced internally. If the king truly had wanted him to charm Levi, he should’ve had the sense not to accompany him to the arena. Though Erwin already found he didn’t quite manage to bring himself to care about what the king wanted, his mind only focusing on what he himself wanted.

He turned to face Levi, smiling pleasantly and offering his hand. ”I’m Erwin Smith, an old acquaintance of the king, he was merely accompanying me.”

”Smith? I’ve never heard of that clan,” Levi scoffed. He glanced at Erwin’s outstretched hand as if it might bite him, though in the end he grasped it, though did not introduce himself, likely having already deduced that if the king had accompanied Erwin, then there was no way Levi’s name hadn’t come up in conversation between them.

Erwin chuckled, ”hardly a clan, it’s just me left, I’m afraid.”

At that, Levi turned to look at him, arms now crossed across his chest and lips still scowling. Erwin was sure the man hated him already.

The other two Ackermans took their leave, clearly confident that Levi could handle any problems himself, and so it was only him and Levi there, the other looking at Erwin as if he was appraising him, or judging him. Quite harshly too, if Erwin had to venture a guess.

”So, what do you do Smith?”

Erwin barely had to think about his response, settling on a half-truth. ”I’m a scholar, or a historian rather. Currently I’m commissioned by the king to write about the histories of the different major clans of Eldia.”

Levi’s scowl deepened. ”That’s why you’re talking to me? You want me to blabber about Ackerman history to you?”

Erwin smiled, amused at the other man. ”I already know quite a lot actually, I came here to see you out of a more personal interest.”

”Personal interest? The fuck does that mean?”

”I’ve studied the Ackerman clan’s warriors, but I had yet to see one fight,” Erwin said, unsure of why Levi was entertaining him this much since he was clearly annoyed at his presence. That was, of course, unless Erwin was utterly misreading his demeanor.

Erwin smiled pleasantly at him nonetheless. ”I must thank you; it was quite the show.”

Levi was still scowling, his gaze not even meeting Erwin’s as he was instead looking off to the side, idly blowing his hair away from his face whenever it fell over his eyes. He was shifting his weight from one foot to another as if he was restless, his arms crossed over his chest.

”Hardly a show, just some fucker who needed to be shown his place,” Levi muttered, briefly glancing at Erwin before looking away again.

”Yes, I noticed you taking the time to teach him as well, I’m sure he appreciated that,” Erwin laughed. Levi’s cheeks were reddening as he did, Erwin glancing up at the sun, thinking maybe Levi was getting sunburnt from being outside so much.

Just as Erwin was about to suggest they retreat to some other place, for shade if nothing else, to his surprise it was Levi who spoke first.

”Well, there’s nothing more to see here, now,” he said, idly kicking at the sand, ”if you’re so interested, then would you like to tour the estate?”

Levi’s offer took Erwin by surprise, his brow raised and mouth slightly parted. Quickly though he shook his head and smiled. ”Of course, I would love to see more and to learn of your clan as well, Levi.”

At the mention of his name Levi glanced at him, though the look in his eyes was something Erwin had a hard time deciphering. In the end Levi looked away too quickly for Erwin to think much about it anyway.

They walked side by side, Erwin’s earlier estimation of their height difference proving to be correct, though it hardly seemed Levi minded his shorter stature and the way the other members of the clan clearly both feared and respected him, Erwin figured it was unlikely anyone was foolish enough to try and use his height against him in battle or argument.

Levi was a quiet person, walking silently by Erwin’s side as he talked about his recent travels, though in his silver eyes was a focused look, letting Erwin know he was listening intently.

After some time of Erwin talking, it was Levi who spoke. ”I don’t know what’s out there, I’ve never been outside of Eldia,” he admitted.

”You haven’t? Then you ought to join me on my travels, I see countless new sights everyday and visit new places constantly.”

Levi hummed. ”Must be nice, that.”

”Why not come with me sometime?”

As they walked, Levi absentmindedly kicked a rock that lay beside his feet, watching as it flew away in a clean arc before falling down, hitting the sandy earth with a distant thud. ”I cannot leave my clan,” he said, briefly glancing up at Erwin, ”and I already have my hands full with this fucking war.”

At that, Erwin furrowed his brow. ”I thought the Ackerman clan had yet to yield to the current king?”

Levi rolled his eyes with a scoff, crossing his arms across his chest once again. Erwin tried his best to keep his eyes from wandering to the way his arm muscles flexed with the movement.

”Yield? To that old fucker? Tch, he’ll never see the day.”

”Then… what do you mean by having your hands full?”

Levi glanced up at him again, though the sun hit his eyes, leaving him squinting up at Erwin until he turned away just as quickly with another scowl. ”I won’t help that fucking bastard, but the civilians have done nothing to deserve this war. We’re arranging shelter and care for people fleeing to our lands.”

Erwin’s eyebrows raised in mild surprise. Levi seemed so cold and uncaring from a distance, it was touching to see that he actually did care. The king painted Levi in such an awful light, but Erwin was quickly learning Levi was nothing like the king described.

”Wouldn’t it be more helpful to yield and end the war once and for all?”

Levi looked into the distance, his expression cool and he seemed every bit the seasoned warrior depicted in books and tavern songs.

”There will always be other wars,” he sighed, ”and I will not promise to die beside a king I do not believe in.”

”I suppose that makes sense.”

They both knew, after all, that for a clan head to enter a covenant with a king was no ordinary affair and most of all it was certainly not something to be taken lightly.

In times of peace most clan heads never thought twice about it, but during war time the tension was always that much higher. As a commoner, it was not something Erwin himself had ever had to think about, most commoners did not, but it was something his father had talked about once, the covenant of kings and their men.

”So you know what it means? To pledge my loyalty, to bend the knee, to yield,” Levi demanded, voice harsh.

Levi scoffed before continuing, eyes locked onto Erwin’s face. ”I’ll have to give my life to the king if I yield, and not just in battle,” he said, ”I can do battles, but that’s not what the covenant means.”

Erwin found himself nodding along to his words. ”I know what it means, Levi.”

”Yeah, exactly. If I pledge my life to that fucker and he fucking, what? Falls down the stairs and hits his head and dies like a moron, I’ll have to run a fucking sword through my chest in some idiotic act of loyalty.”

Erwin looked down at him, Levi’s expression fierce and unyielding and Erwin could see why the king disliked him. Levi was clearly aware of his skill, though not proud or boastful like other men might’ve been in possession of such talent, instead to Levi his skills seemed more like an afterthought, something he could do just as he could read or write or breathe. It annoyed lesser men, the way he took his skill for granted. It almost seemed as though Levi was irritated that his skill was all people wanted from him, the only thing anyone ever saw. As if it was the only thing he was good for.

And even further, looking around at the Ackerman lands it was clear they were a smaller clan, most of their people and land taken by the previous kings, culled and cut like animals, and it made sense to Erwin why their loyalty was so hard to win now, if it was possible to win it at all. They had been treated terribly, yet still the kings came to their lands, over and over, asking them to kneel.

Though, Erwin supposed, it had happened before, the Ackerman leader before Levi had yielded to the king after all, had served by his side and though Erwin could not recall what became of him since Ackermans were often left out of most history books, he could guess that it was most likely the Ackerman leader had also given his life alongside his king, as commanded by the covenant.

”I can’t say I’m surprised to hear you say that, Levi,” he admitted as the two of them came to a stop, having reached what seemed to be the old Ackerman residence, the place where the entire clan used to live. It was a moderately sized building and clearly old, though well maintained nonetheless. Erwin wondered if this was where Levi lived, if anyone else lived there at all. He had not seen any recent family records of the clan, the brief research he had done of the Ackermans in the past only recording the lineage before the culling and nothing after. Even Levi himself was scarcely included in any records at all, despite him clearly being somewhat infamous.

Levi stepped to stand in front of him, face tilted up to look Erwin directly into his eyes. ”I am an Ackerman, I will kneel to no king or God.”

Erwin chuckled at the dramatic phrase, sounding more akin to something someone had told Levi than something he would actually say himself.

By the way Levi’s lips briefly ticked upwards into a small smile, it seemed Erwin was correct in his assumption and he had only been jokingly repeating something that had been taught to him.

”My uncle always used to say that,” Levi explained, ”fucking ironic since he ended up bending the knee anyway.”

”Oh? That was your uncle?”

Levi nodded.

”How did that happen?”

A shrug. ”’Dunno, I was pretty young then, so I barely remember.”

Erwin hummed. They said nothing more for some time, Erwin looking around at the different buildings, this being his first time in the lands ruled by the Ackermans. Erwin spent little time in Eldia these days, less so in Mitras, and so he’d never seen this part of the country before, the Ackerman clan’s lands existing just outside of the capital city, spanning what seemed to be mostly farmlands and some forests. There were also mountains in the distance, towards the North.

It was Levi who broke the silence after a while.

”Since you’re a historian, do you want to come see the house?”

Erwin turned to face him. ”The house?”

Levi nudged his head towards the building they were standing in front of. ”The main house. No one lives there now, it’s like a museum.”

Erwin found himself eagerly nodding and so Levi led him inside, the two of them once more walking side by side as Erwin looked around, excitedly talking about what he knew of the old style of architecture and asking Levi about this and that.

Levi’s answers were always short, if he knew the answer at all or cared to give an answer, Erwin could not always tell which. The only time Levi seemed to have more to say was when they reached a long hallway, the walls decorated with paintings and statues of previous members and clan leaders. It seemed either Levi knew much more about the people of the clan than its general history, either that or he simply cared more.

”And this is?” Erwin asked as they stopped in front of another painting, depicting a man in his late 40s by Erwin’s estimate, scowling like all the Ackermans were wont to do, his eyes the same piercing blueish steel as Levi’s.

”My uncle, Kenny Ackerman,” Levi explained, ”he was the head of the clan before me.”

A pause, then Levi continued, turning his back to the painting and continuing on, ”he’s dead now, as commanded by the covenant.”

”… I see.”

Levi was already moving ahead. ”He pledged his life to the king Uri Reiss, I’m sure you know more of him than I do, though.”

Erwin nodded, eyes still glued to the painting. ”I do yes, he ruled during a very peaceful time in Eldia’s history, dying of an illness if my memory serves me correctly. He was a very beloved king.”

Levi had stopped some ways ahead of him, looking at him intently. He said nothing, but the air between them was once again fraught with tension.

At length Erwin turned away from the portrait, following Levi towards the next one.

”And who’s this?”

Levi side eyed him harshly. ”You’re a pretty shitty historian if you need me to tell you all of this, y’know.”

Erwin chuckled, ”maybe I am, though won’t you humour me anyway?”

With a scoff Levi did. ”This is my mother, Kuchel Ackerman.”

”She looks like a fine woman.”

”She’s dead.”

”Ah, my apologies.”

A moment of quiet, then Levi spoke again, as if he could sense the question lingering in Erwin’s mind.

”She was taken by illness, not the covenant. She would’ve been the head of the clan before me if she’d lived. You’d be talking to her now instead of me in that case.”

Erwin let his gaze wander away from the painting and back to Levi, finding him already looking at him. Caught in Levi’s gaze like that, Erwin found himself frozen, rendered speechless.

For a few seconds they stayed like that, potent silence between them, eyes seeing nothing but each other.

—

They had not known each other for much more than the span of a single afternoon, and yet after that encounter Erwin found himself more and more drawn in by Levi, thinking of him time and time again, thoughts drifting back to him helplessly. He could not tell what it was about the other man that had drawn him in with such strength, perhaps it was the intrigue of the tragic Ackerman history or the myth of Levi himself, Erwin could not tell.

He felt like a spy, almost, going back to the king’s castle the day after he had left the Ackerman estate, to report to him and tell him his thoughts on Levi.

Erwin kept his truest thoughts to himself though, as well as the fact that he was sure the king had severely misjudged Levi’s character.

”We need him on our side, Erwin,” the king said, head leaned against his hand as he sat on the throne. Erwin found himself looking around the room, wondering how someone could spend their day sitting in a chair like this, seemingly doing nothing.

Our side? he thought, wondering who’s side the king thought Levi was on right now. Erwin let his mind wander back to the things Levi had told him, the things he had seen. He knew Levi already did more for the people of Eldia than the king ever had.

He said nothing of it to the king, though, only nodding along absentmindedly.

”How long are you staying?” The king asked then, sitting up straighter.

Erwin glanced at the king before letting his eyes stray to the windows, staring into the distance where he was sure he could see the same mountains that sat at the edge of the Ackerman lands.

”I was planning on leaving within the fortnight,” Erwin replied, thinking of Levi as he did, of his offer to take Levi with him, which had been promptly turned down.

”You should have tea with me and Marie tomorrow afternoon.”

”Of course, my lord.”

And as if by coincidence he managed to run into Marie, the king’s niece, as he was leaving the palace.

”Erwin? Erwin Smith?” She asked, voice soft and melodic, causing Erwin to turn around.

He looked at her for a brief moment before he managed to connect her face with a name, since it had been some time since they had last seen each other. She had grown much, her soft brown hair longer than it had been, curled and nicely styled with not a strand out of place. Her clothes were very clean and proper, as befitting a ward of the king.

”Oh, hello Marie, how have you been?”

She smiled politely, her hands clasped before her. ”I’ve been well, though I must say it’s a surprise to see you here after all this time, Erwin.”

”Yes, my work tends to keep me busy, pulling me from place to place. I don’t really stay in one city for too long.”

”I can imagine,” she said, stepping closer, ”you were seeing my uncle just now, yes? Did he have work for you?”

At that Erwin paused, mind once again returning to Levi, the flash of his silver eyes and the crook of his brow seemed to be where Erwin’s mind wandered to more and more.

Forcibly Erwin pulled himself out of his reverie and returned Marie’s polite smile. ”Yes, he did,” he replied, choosing not to elaborate more. Even Erwin himself was not yet sure what the king expected of him, having come to the conclusion that Levi could be quite stubborn after all and was unlikely to heed their requests just because someone other than the current king asked for it.

Marie seemed to be able to read between the lines however, likely also having heard his uncle ranting about Levi recently. ”Is it about the Ackermans?” she asked, her smile falling and eyes turning more serious, ”awful group of people, those ones, I quite wish we didn’t have to deal with them at all. The other clans are much more manageable.”

Erwin looked at her for some seconds, wondering if Marie had ever even interacted with the Ackermans to begin with. Though, having met Levi, Erwin knew he wasn’t one to make a great first impression in any case.

”Well—” he began, not sure if he was about to speak in defense of him, but before he could get any further he was interrupted by commotion, his and Marie’s head snapping towards the entrance to see Levi himself walking in, escorted by murmurs and grumbling from the guards stationed all along the walls, his head held high as if he couldn’t even hear how they spoke of him.

”Levi,” Erwin breathed out, barely noticing he had done so until Levi glanced at him from the corner of his eye as he passed them by. He did not stop however, instead marched directly to the king’s hall, his arrival announced by the king’s advisor just as Erwin’s had been.

The doors to the hall opened and shut with echoing clangs, Erwin frozen and left staring at where Levi had disappeared off to.

”Just look at him, so haughty and arrogant, he didn’t even pause to greet us,” Marie complained with a click of her tongue, wrapping her scarf tighter around her shoulders as if Levi’s mere presence in the castle had brought with it some inexplicable winter chill.

Erwin himself only hummed at her words, unable to do much else as all of his thoughts were taken by Levi, disappearing along with him.

—

In the king’s hall Levi stood before the king like a God.

”What will you give?” He asked, arms defiantly crossed against his chest.

The king looked down at him, scoffing at his perceived rudeness. ”What haven’t I promised to give already?”

”All of your chests of gold and every single whore you can gather from across these lands will never be enough,” Levi stated, cold and resolute.

He looked up at the king defiantly, though his body was relaxed, arms behind his back. ”I will not yield to you, I will not bend the knee and you will not have my clan.”

The king was scowling on his throne, furious, his fists tightly clenched and brow furrowed. He was moments away from simply baring his teeth like a dog and growling at Levi, but managed to hold himself back.

”Shall I remind you that the Ackerman clan has yielded to the king before?”

Levi raised his chin at the king. ”That was my uncle’s decision and he has already given his life alongside the king who ruled before you as per the covenant made between kings and their men. That was then, this is now and I will not yield to you.”

The king clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to see Levi for a second longer, his chest filled with anger and rage at the audacity of such an uppity brat, one not yet 30 years of age. Briefly he wondered why he had bothered to invite Levi into the castle at all. The indignity of having to invite him as well, as opposed to being able to summon and order him like he could anyone else was driving the king to his limits.

The king sighed, his body weary and mind exhausted, the war at a standstill for months already and he knew it would never be over, not without the strength of the Ackerman clan.

”If I give up my throne, will you fight?”

Levi was mildly impressed by the guts it would take to make such an offer, knowing that if the king gave up his throne in abdication or death, then every single clan head that had sworn him loyalty would have to offer their own lives in a symbolic gesture of loyalty.

The clan heads always died beside their kings, burned with them, buried with them. It was how his uncle had passed as well, running a sword through his own chest after the king he had sworn himself to had passed away from an illness.

If the king did this, it would not be him whom Levi would swear loyalty to, instead it would be the next king that came after. Who that person would be, Levi did not know. The king had no heirs, no named successors.

”I cannot promise you anything,” was what Levi settled on.

”Leave then,” the king said with a wave of his hand, resigning himself to a prolonged war once more. It was clear to him that Levi Ackerman held no love nor loyalty to Eldia, he would rather see the entire country ravaged than bend his knee and give his life to the king.

—

Erwin walked down the steps leading to the palace in a daze, gait unsure, absentmindedly running his hands through his hair.

All around him he could hear people talking, gossiping and murmuring with cold looks in their eyes, heads shaking as Erwin walked through the crowds, pushed and pulled by the masses of elbows and shoulders.

”—see him? So haughty, I don’t know why he bothers to come here just to humiliate the king…”

”He should stay away if he doesn’t intend to help, no one wants to see him here anyway…”

”Such arrogance—”

”Awful manners too, I’ve heard from my cousin who’s wife works in the castle that he never greets anyone and is always rolling his eyes and scoffing—”

Erwin paused in the middle of the street, looking around at the people milling about. He wondered if they knew at all what they were talking about. Erwin himself was a scholar, well taught and well read, but books were only books, the real world was beyond the walls of Eldia, where most people here had never ventured into.

They had seen not a day of the war that plagued the nation, had never seen the people actually affected by it. And most of all, they had not one of them ever done a single thing to help. Yet here they stood, talking about Levi as if they knew him, as if they knew what he had or hadn’t done. As if they understood what they and the king were asking of him.

They must know, Erwin thought, they must know that yielding would mean death to Levi, death to the warriors in his clan.

He shook his head.

They don’t care, he knew, they don’t care if he lives or dies, what happens after he does.

As if to confirm his thoughts, he heard a man pipe up just near him, smoking and shaking his head as if he had all the wisdom of the world at his fingertips.

”So what if that insolent brat dies? There’ll always be other Ackerman dogs to take his place.”

Erwin thought back to the battle between Levi and a member of his clan. There’s no one like him, he thought, there will never be another.

—

Chapter Text

Erwin set his teacup on its porcelain plate with a clink, licking his lips and letting his eyes wander about the room. The king’s palace was large with multiple rooms for many different purposes, Erwin’s head always dizzy whenever he was led through the hallways by the servants.

This time as well he’d tried to keep track of the twists and turns they had taken to reach the pavilion he was now seated in, but he’d lost track after the 10th or so turn. Erwin’s — or more accurately his father’s — house was much smaller, situated on the outskirts of the upper city. They had always been a well-to-do family, his father a professor and Erwin eager to follow in his footsteps, exploring the world that they both loved so dearly.

He had barely been at the house these past years, the furniture there covered with white sheets to keep the dust off, the door hinges squeaking and floorboards creaking as he walked through the rooms. The house was utterly quiet, filled with the different marks of life yet simultaneously utterly devoid of it. In the setting sun it all felt so somber, Erwin’s bones aching as he had tried his best to settle in upon his arrival.

The king cleared his throat and Erwin shook his head to clear the thoughts away. He hadn’t had a home in so long, having been lost all over the world instead.

”How has life back in Mitras been treating you?” The king asked, looking outside. The pavilion was entirely made of glass, the air inside quite warm during the summer and the servants were busy opening the windows to let in the cooling breeze from the gardens.

Erwin nodded along as the king spoke. ”It’s much too quiet back at the old house, and much too busy in the capital,” he said, trying his best to avoid the topic of his father altogether.

”I’m sure it’s nostalgic, being back at your childhood home after all your travels,” Marie said, smiling sweetly. She was sitting on the chair beside Erwin, the mid-afternoon sun coating her in an ethereal light, her golden brown hair almost like a halo around her face.

The image of his father passed by in Erwin’s mind, followed by the unshakable feeling of emptiness he’d felt after he had died several years before. Erwin had been so young then, and losing one’s parent like that, the strings holding up one’s life… Erwin wasn’t sure if he’d ever felt safe again.

”Hm, yes,” was all he said to Marie though, smiling briefly before turning his gaze outside, looking at the trees and the sky just beyond the palace walls.

Erwin’s father had been working as an advisor for many years in the palace, assisting the king upon request in the many areas he had expertise in and as such Erwin himself had been a frequent visitor as well, trailing after his father whenever he was summoned to the castle. After his father’s death, the king had seemed to take pity on young Erwin, orphaned as he was at such a young age, and had arranged for him to be tutored in the palace alongside the many children of different clans.

For many, such an act was seen as benevolence, but to Erwin it had felt like a threat. It still did so, even after all these years that he’d been gone.

”So, Erwin,” the king began again, ”what are your thoughts on the war?”

At length Erwin turned his gaze to the king, his features old and weary, eyes red as if he was trying to hold back a cough. Then he glanced away again, briefly sipping on his tea as he thought about the question.

”I am most concerned about the coming winter,” he said simply.

”Oh? Care to elaborate on that?”

Erwin faced the king directly. ”Eldia is much too isolated compared to Marley, that even now they are still gathering allies, hosting diplomatic balls et cetera,” he said, sipping on his tea, ”I see it as very likely that Marley is planning on beginning a trade embargo on Eldia, to starve and freeze us as the winter comes.”

The king hummed, fingers tapping against his already empty cup, head leaning on his other hand. Looking at him, Erwin could see the irritation the king was trying his best to hide.

”Eldia has enough resources to last the winter,” the king said, his dislike of Erwin’s indirect criticism of his current strategy clearly bleeding into his voice, ”and besides, gathering other nations on our side like that would immediately be seen as weakness by Marley, it would be foolish to risk it for nothing.”

Erwin stayed quiet, holding back his thoughts so as not to cause any unnecessary friction. The silence in the room was heavy and thick, not even Marie managing to think of something to say to break the tension, despite all of her social graces.

At length Erwin lowered his now empty tea cup back on its little porcelain plate and met the king’s eyes which were dim with irritation.

”Of course, my lord has more experience in politics,” he said, though let the tone of his voice stay dry, both of them knowing it was Erwin that had more experience, well learned and well traveled as he was. The king had likely never been outside of Mitras, let alone outside of Eldia.

Erwin stood up, his chair scraping against the wooden floors as he did. ”If you’ll excuse me, I still have much to do back at the house,” he said, smiling pleasantly as he nodded at the king and Marie.

Hastily she stood up as well, gathering her skirts in her hands. ”Wait, Erwin, let me walk you out,” she said and Erwin acquiesced with a nod of his head. Together they walked out, side by side, the clicking of Marie’s heels echoing around the spacious rooms, Erwin’s summer coat swishing behind him as they left.

”I’m sorry about my uncle,” Marie said as soon as the heavy mahogany doors were closed behind them, ”he’s gotten more irritable after his illness, I don’t know why he even asked for your opinion if he was going to act like that.”

Erwin smiled at her, waving off her concerns. ”Don’t worry about it Marie, I’m not offended.”

”Well, in any case I’m very happy you agreed to have tea with us today, it’s been really nice seeing you back here.”

”It was my pleasure.”

They walked in easy silence for some moments, Erwin’s hands clasped behind his back, eyes fixed ahead.

”You know, I’ve always admired you, Erwin,” Marie said after a while, smiling up at him sweetly.

”Oh?”

”Yes, I always thought you were so brave and capable, traveling the world as you have and in school too you were always the smartest of us,” she said, reaching out to put a hand on Erwin’s arm, stopping him, the two of them standing there in the middle of the winding hallway.

”Do you remember those days, Erwin? When we were studying here as children?”

Erwin thought back to his father, how he had taught him for most of his childhood, the two of them reading books and talking about the world together, learning and dreaming. Then he thought of the day the soldiers had come to his house, to tell him his father had been found dead. After that he was no longer studying in his father’s library, all warm wood and leather couches, the fireplace crackling in the winter and windows open in summer. Instead he was in a cold marble classroom with the noble children, listening to the teacher talk about things Erwin’s father had taught him years before, refusing to answer any of Erwin’s questions. Upon receiving panicked looks from his teachers and curious glances from the other children, Erwin had quickly learned to keep his father’s teachings to himself.

”Yes, I remember,” he said to Marie, a polite smile still on his lips.

”I remember you and Nile always getting into trouble.”

”It was Nile getting into trouble and me trying to keep him out of it.”

Marie giggled sweetly, covering her mouth with her gloved hand. ”Oh, I don’t believe that for a second,” she laughed.

Erwin turned to look at her, this woman whom he had grown up beside since they were only children, who had grown from a sweet girl into a nice woman, and he remembered Marie always having been smart and capable in her own right, her social skills having been unparalleled in their classroom.

”Marie, why hasn’t the king named any successors?”

Marie’s laughter cut short, her eyes wide as she lowered her hand. ”Why? Who could he name?”

Her voice was suddenly much more serious, her eyes more stern.

”Why can he not name you as an heir?”

Marie huffed out a laugh at that. ”I don’t remember you having been this funny before, Erwin.”

”I wasn’t joking.”

She turned to look up at him. ”Be serious, do you truly think I could rule Eldia? During war, no less. Erwin, among us I fear it’s only you who could hold so many lives in your hands and not shatter under the weight of them.”

Erwin looked down at her, his blue eyes much more dim in the lighting, lips pulled into a thin line. ”Are you suggesting the king is planning to name me as his heir?”

Marie glanced away briefly, wrapping her shawl tighter around her shoulders. ”I believe so, yes, who else could he possibly even consider?”

With a sigh, Marie stepped closer to him, as if they were discussing something conspiratorial. ”I’ve already told him I won’t take the throne so he best not even consider using his dying breaths to name me as an heir,” she said, voice much more serious than Erwin had ever heard it.

”Well, he’ll have to name somebody,” Erwin said, pausing for a moment, then ”how is he doing?”

Marie glanced to and fro, eyes flicking nervously. ”He’s not going to get better, the cough already broke two of his ribs just last month.”

”I see.”

Before either of them managed to say anything more, they were interrupted by steps echoing around the hallways, rounding the corner.

”Erwin?”

Both of them turned to look simultaneously to see a man standing some ways away from them. Erwin turned to face him more fully, eyebrows raised in mild surprise.

”Nile? It’s good to see you.”

Nile stepped closer cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

”I hadn’t heard you’d be back here,” he said. As he neared the two of them, Erwin noted how much more weary he seemed, his hair balding and a darkness under his eyes that hadn’t been there when Erwin had left.

”Yes, I was never one to make a big deal out of my comings and goings.”

Nile scoffed. ”Humble as always, Smith.”

Erwin only hummed and Nile turned his attention to Marie, his entire demeanor changing from careful to something more open, warmer.

”And how are you, Marie?”

Erwin glanced between the two of them as they talked, exchanging pleasantries. He had known both of them for many years, having studied in the castle as he had after his father’s passing. Marie was the king’s ward, born to a noble family yet her parents had succumbed to the illness that had ravaged the capital some decade past, she had been orphaned just a little before Erwin himself had. The king had shown a kindness to her, having taken her in as a ward to raise her. He might’ve done the same for Erwin himself, had he chosen to do so. Why he had not, Erwin did not yet know, but many different outcomes and scenarios drifted through his mind every time he pondered about it.

As a ward, Marie was no longer officially a member of her birth clan, instead she would live her life in the castle, taking care of the kings on their thrones. She had been spared the fate of a clan heir, she’d never have to pledge her loyalty or to give her life to a king. She lived a different life now, and Erwin found himself glad for it.

Nile on the other hand was still an heir, the only one in his small clan. The worry and fear in his demeanor was palpable, his parents’ lives tied to the king’s, who was growing sicker by the day. When the king died, so would his parents. That was the pledge of the covenant that tied them.

Erwin shook his head at the thought. He had always considered the covenant to be wasteful and pointless, losing so many lives just because of some mindless act of loyalty seemed bizarre, seemed wasteful.

”… Erwin?”

His gaze snapped back to Marie and Nile, who were looking at him expectantly.

”Pardon me, I was lost in my thoughts,” he said with a small smile, ”were you saying something?”

Marie looked at him for a moment longer, appraising, but with a smile she let it go. ”Nothing much, we were just wondering what you were going to do now that you’re back in Mitras.”

”I have to sort through the old house, it’s been a long time coming.”

Nile furrowed his brow. ”Why? What’s back there? I don’t recall your father having been a hoarder.”

Erwin chuckled. ”He wasn’t, no, there are just some things of his that I’ve been wanting to find, that’s all.”

”Oh, what kind of things?” Marie asked, head tilted, her shawl slipping from her shoulder again.

”Boring things, I’m afraid,” Erwin said, ”just some books and notes of his, nothing special.”

”Right,” Nile said, disinterest clear in his voice, ”well you have fun with that, I’m off to see the king.”

”You’re here to see the king? What for?”

In lieu of an answer, Nile only shot Erwin a schating look before turning to leave. Erwin thought he might’ve been able to guess, then, what the topic of their conversation was going to be.

After Nile had all but marched off, Marie turned to Erwin once again. ”Oh, don’t mind him, he’s been very busy and it’s making him grouchy.”

Erwin hummed, ”well, in any case, I should be off too.”

He bowed his head to Marie who waved him off, then took his leave. He only managed to take the wrong turn twice before finding his way out of the palace, the midday sun hitting him full force as he stepped outside.

He lifted his hand to shield his eyes from the brightness, pausing on the steps of the palace to give himself a moment to get used to the bustle of Mitras, people busy milling about this way and that, though it seemed to be even more noisy than usual.

Erwin cracked open his eyes, squinting in the sunlight, trying to see where the commotion was, realizing that the noise was actually people shouting, though it didn’t sound distressed, only angry.

He made his way down the stairs, his feet guiding him as he pushed his way through the crowd, looking over the tops of people’s heads to see what was happening. The crowd mostly parted around him, his tall form and broad shoulders often very commanding not to mention the stern look in his blue eyes.

In the middle of the market Erwin paused, not quite sure what he was seeing in the middle of the whole commotion, though at the same time he knew he perhaps shouldn’t be so surprised.

Kneeling on the ground, body bent to shield another person, was Levi, shouting at the people gathering around him, a drop of blood making its way down the side of his face, his silver eyes furious and teeth bared, making him look every bit like the dog people always seemed to describe him as.

”The fuck are you looking at? Get the hell away from her!”

Erwin was frozen, looking at Levi, trying to understand what had happened. The body he was shielding seemed to belong to a girl, Erwin recognizing her mop of reddish brown hair, remembering the girl that he had briefly met that day in the arena. She must’ve been another Ackerman, though she shared no resemblance to Levi and as such Erwin had assumed she was likely not blood related to the clan.

Without his say-so, Erwin’s feet guided him to Levi’s side, his silver eyes immediately zeroing in on Erwin as he approached.

Kneeling beside him, Erwin couldn’t help but notice some tension bleeding out of Levi’s body despite the onlookers still hurling insults at Levi, calling him heartless and a monster.

”Levi, what happened?”

Levi bristled, teeth still bared. ”What do you mean ’what happened’? These fuckers attacked Isabel is what happened!”

Erwin glanced down at the girl held in Levi’s lap, unconscious from what he could see, though most of her face was covered by her hair. She didn’t seem to be dying, but as Erwin took in her state, the blood flowing down the side of her face and clinging to her hair, he knew the injury she had received was serious.

”Levi, she needs to get to a hospital, I can help you carry her if you—”

At that, Levi all but growled, all teeth and furious eyes. ”She’s not going to a fucking hospital!”

Erwin stared at him, mouth agape, confused as to where the sudden vitriol was coming from. ”Levi—” he began, trying once more to reason with him but was instead interrupted again.

”No. Hospitals,” Levi said with gritted teeth, ”got that, blondie? So you can either be useful and help me carry her back to the estate, or your giant ass can fucking scram and get the hell out of my way!”

Erwin stared at Levi, blinked in mild surprise and then with a sigh he nodded, gathering Isabel into his arms. Levi was still kneeling on the ground, stupefied, slowly looking up at Erwin’s tall form effortlessly carrying another adult person like it was nothing at all.

”Which way?” Erwin asked, looking around, trying to see if he could spot any landmarks that would guide his way to the Ackerman estate.

”It’s this way,” Levi said as he stood up, voice quiet and small, beginning to lead the way for Erwin and Isabel.

The crowd parted for them as they left, though Erwin couldn’t help but notice the hostile looks from the people as they passed them by. He had never known the hatred for the Ackermans ran so deep as to incite violence in public like this, to have someone attack another person.

Glancing at Isabel’s face, Erwin deduced it was likely someone had thrown something at her head, causing her to lose consciousness and fall down. Thankfully Levi had been with her, or something even more serious might’ve happened.

Out of the corner of his eye Erwin watched Levi walking beside him, face still twisted from lingering anger, his steps heavy and hands and clothes dirtied from having kneeled on the ground. He was wiping at his face with a clean handkerchief, grunting and mumbling curses under his breath as he did.

They made their way to the estate mostly in silence, Erwin keeping an eye on Levi in case he was worse off than he seemed. They made it back fine though, upon their arrival Levi immediately began leading Erwin towards what seemed to be some sort of infirmary or a medical facility, though inside it was chaotic which struck Erwin as strange given that there only seemed to be two people inside besides them.

A tall man with light brown hair came to see them as they rushed in, quickly assessing the situation and taking Isabel from Erwin and then disappearing back inside the room he had come out from after giving Levi another sideways glance.

It was silent once more, Levi shifting his weight from one foot to another, staring at the room Isabel had been carried into.

Erwin was watching him, finding it difficult to avert his eyes whenever Levi was near him. The silence was tense and Erwin couldn’t help himself as he stepped closer, soon standing right beside Levi, his stomach clenching at the difference in height.

Levi turned to look at him, eyes quizzical and wary, watching Erwin’s every move like a hawk. Against his better judgement, Erwin raised his hand, holding the side of Levi’s face, thumb tracing the path of dried blood, smearing away the fresh drops just below the cut on his temple. ”Who did this, Levi?”

Levi slightly flinched away from his touch, though Erwin could not tell if it was from pain or surprise. He let his hand drop back to his side, taking a step back.

”I’m sorry,” he said, Levi still gaping up at him.

After a pause he closed his mouth, looking away. ”It’s fine, it’s no big deal.”

Erwin hummed, clasping his hands behind his back. ”Why were you attacked like that?”

Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes, hip cocked and arms crossed across his chest. ”Why? Do you really need to ask me that? Tch.”

Erwin said nothing, letting Levi lead the conversation, to speak more if he wished.

After a while he did. ”We were just buying stuff at the market,” he said, voice quieter, ”then some jerk put his hands on Isabel, calling her ’an Ackerman bitch’ and so I punched him in the jaw.”

Erwin raised his eyebrows at that, but said nothing. Levi turned his gaze back on Erwin, as if to see how he reacted.

”He went down from that but then some others joined him and someone threw something at me but Isabel stepped in like a fool, got hit in the head.”

”I see.”

”Yeah, so, usually we don’t even go out into the city, we grow our own food here.”

”Then why did you go this time?”

Levi shrugged. ”Stupid four-eyes needed some supplies, I don’t know, I went just to accompany Isabel.”

”Four-eyes?”

As if summoned, the door in front of them burst open and a veritable hurricane of a person stepped out, glasses askew and ponytail practically swishing a full 360 degrees.

”Levi!” they yelled, wrapping Levi in a quick embrace which, miraculously, Levi seemed to allow, only mildly seeing put upon at the physical closeness.

”Alright, four-eyes, get the fuck off of me,” he said after a few seconds though, pushing the other person away. ”How’s Isabel?”

”Ah, she’ll be fine, just a little bump and a mild concussion.”

Levi nodded, then seemed to remember Erwin was in the room as well, gesturing towards him. ”This is Erwin Smith, from the palace.”

”The palace? Levi, you’re consorting with the enemy?!”

Erwin huffed out a surprised laugh. ”The enemy? I should hope not,” he said, stepping closer to shake their hand, ”I’m just a historian,” he corrected.

”Ah, I see. I’m Hanji Zoë, a scientist at your service,” Hanji said, shaking Erwin’s hand quite enthusiastically.

”A scientist? Not a doctor?”

Hanji waved him off. ”What’s the difference? Doctor, scientist, physician, it’s all me,” they said, looking at Erwin from over the rim of their glasses, ”and I suppose I am not at your service, but at Levi’s service, though maybe it’s all the same too.”

Erwin furrowed his brow, not quite catching what Hanji meant by their remark. Levi seemed to though, if the way he tensed up and turned to glare at Hanji was any indication.

”Give it a rest, four-eyes, and go treat Isabel.”

”Right, right. Hey, did Moblit happen to look at your head yet?”

”It’s fine, it’s just a scratch.”

Hanji hummed, as if they didn’t quite believe him. ”Whatever you say, come get treated if you feel dizzy later!”

Hanji bounced off as quick as they had come, leaving Erwin and Levi alone once more. Levi walked to the side, sitting down on a bench.

”I’ll go get you some water,” Erwin said, feeling uneasy about the whole thing that had happened at the market. He had no idea the Ackermans were hated to this extent, that it might be an actual threat to Levi’s life, to his family’s lives.

”It’s fine,” Levi mumbled.

Erwin said nothing, simply went and opened the door to the room Hanji and the man, Moblit, had disappeared through and on the other side he found a normal infirmary, with Moblit dutifully cleaning Isabel’s wounds and the dust on her arms.

He looked up as Erwin entered, seemingly understanding what he was after just from seeing him. Silently he went and filled a washbasin with water, handing it to Erwin along with a few towels.

”Thank you,” he said and Moblit nodded, returning to his work.

Erwin returned to Levi’s side, kneeling in front of him.

”Is this fine?” he asked, something settling inside of him when he was near Levi like this, like a cat curling up to sleep peacefully.

Levi sighed and nodded, exhaustion settling into his bones. Erwin gave him some water to drink, then with his fingers he tilted Levi’s chin up, beginning to clean his face from dust and dried blood with a damp towel.

Just like that they spent many minutes, Erwin carefully cleaning Levi’s face, taking the time to silently admire his features, the sharp cut of his jaw and the shade of his eyes, the way his long lashes cast shadows onto his cheekbones under the dim light of the room. His eyebrows were furrowed, silver gaze following Erwin’s every move, body tensed as if he was ready to fight or to run, at a moment’s notice. Erwin let the tips of his fingers graze against Levi’s skin, the hollow of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose as he ran the towel softly and carefully along the skin and bones that formed him.

Like this they were so close, Erwin could feel Levi’s warm breath against his skin, little gasps of air and in the silence he almost thought he could hear his rabbiting heartbeat, the little thumps of it against the confines of his ribcage.

It felt like a prize, being able to be so close to Levi, who didn’t even seem to like Erwin in the first place. But Erwin had found himself quite enamored by Levi, fascinated, bewitched. There were many words for it, Erwin not sure which to settle on. He was taken by Levi, somehow, despite not knowing him all that much. But there was something about him, something that Erwin wanted to know, underneath all that tough exterior there was something precious, Erwin just knew.

At length he finished his task, lowering his hand away from Levi’s face, his blue eyes flicking up to meet Levi’s silver gaze. Close like this, Erwin took a few beats to admire the starlight shine of it, the blue metal like a ruthless ocean, like the glint of a deadly blade.

”There,” he said, voice breathy, and he stood up putting away the towel and the washbasin. Levi was still sitting on the bench, lips parted around a gasp, watching Erwin silently.

Levi still said nothing and Erwin turned to look at him. ”Are you okay?”

Slowly Levi swallowed, closing his mouth. ”Yeah, yes. That was— thank you.”

Erwin smiled. ”You’re welcome.”

Levi stood up, rolling down the sleeves of his shirt. Then, like clouds rolling over the sun, his normal distant exterior seemed to rise back up, hiding away the softness Erwin had glimpsed.

”Why did you do that?”

”Do what? Clean your wound? It’s basic medical care, Levi.”

”Tch, you know what I mean. Why did you help us?” Why don’t you hate us? But Levi didn’t need to say the last part out loud for Erwin to hear it.

”Of course I helped you, why wouldn’t I?”

”Then… what do you want?”

Erwin tilted his head questioningly, some strands of his blonde hair falling over his eyes as he did so. ”I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

Levi stepped closer to him, crossing his arms against his chest defensively. ”I mean, you work for the king and I know that old fucker hates me more than anything. You wouldn’t help us just because you’re, what, kind? Tch, so… what do you want in exchange?”

”I hope you don’t think quite so badly of me, Levi,” Erwin said, daring to close some of the distance between them again. ”I am not just a citizen of Eldia, I am a citizen of this world.”

Levi glared at him. ”The fuck does that even mean?”

”It means I don’t share many views that the king holds. I have no qualms with you or any Ackerman.”

”Then why do you work for him?”

”I hardly work for him, I help him because I desire to end this war. I don’t enjoy seeing needless suffering and the king is often highly inefficient.”

Erwin stepped closer again, approaching Levi as one might a frightened animal.

”To tell you the truth, I am back in Eldia to search for my father’s notes, they hold the research he was doing before he died.”

Levi said nothing, waiting for Erwin to finish explaining.

Erwin glanced away briefly before letting his eyes find Levi’s again. ”I believe he was researching the Ackerman clan.”

”That’s why you came to see me fight that day?”

Erwin smiled. ”That, yes, and I also truly did just want to see you fight. You’re the stuff of legends, Levi, and I found not one of those to be exaggerating.”

”Tch, I can see why the king likes you, fucking ass kisser.”

Erwin found himself chuckling at Levi’s words. ”I have been told I can be charming, yes.”

Erwin had managed to close the distance between them, now able to lay his hand on Levi’s shoulder.

”I am hoping to find out what it was my father knew, what he found out before he passed. I simply took the opportunity offered by the king so I could meet you in person, Levi.”

Levi glared at him. ”And here I thought you were just the king’s little lapdog.”

”Little?” Erwin teased, despite intuitively knowing that doing so might cost him his life. Thankfully Levi’s bad mood seemed to be thawing, Erwin only receiving another scathing glare as opposed to a dagger between the gaps of his ribcage.

Indeed, in the silence that settled between them, now much more comfortable than before, Erwin found Levi looking at him as if he was seeing him anew, something bright in his eyes, as if he wasn’t entirely hating what he saw.

”So… what? What do you want from me?”

Erwin sighed, looking away. ”Well, considering you seem to be about the same age as me, I don’t suppose you ever met my father. If he did research the Ackermans, then it is unlikely he ever talked to you.”

He turned away, letting the distance grow again between them, stepping away. ”I’ll most likely have to find his notes on my own.”

Levi only watched him go. ”So you were hoping to talk to the previous leaders? My mom, uncle Kenny?”

”Yes, that was exactly what I had hoped for. I knew the previous clan leader had passed because of the covenant, but I did not know there was no one here older than myself.”

”Tch, don’t mention that fucking covenant here.”

”My apologies, I can see it could be a sore topic for you.”

Levi looked at him for a moment more, then ”my uncle warned me about it. The covenant.”

”Did he?”

”Yeah, he said we Ackermans tend to fall for men who fly too close to the sun.”

Levi looked up at him pointedly, though Erwin was busy looking elsewhere and missed his gaze.

Erwin huffed out a laugh. ”Was that what happened with your uncle? Why he bent the knee?”

Levi shrugged. ”’dunno. He never spoke about it with me.”

”I see. I suppose the covenant might be extra difficult if one has a risk of developing feelings while bound like that.”

A beat of silence, then ”yeah, ’suppose so.”

”Well, in any case, I’m glad you and Isabel are okay, I hope she’s not traumatized from being attacked like that.”

Levi rolled his eyes, something he seemed to do a lot. Erwin smiled as he did.

”She’s tougher than she looks, takes more than some shithead hurling insults to rattle her.”

”I’m glad you were there with her then, Levi. You seem like a good fit for leading the Ackermans.”

”The Ackermans? There’s only two of us left, the rest are all from elsewhere.”

Erwin’s eyebrows raised in surprise. ”Only two? Really?”

”Yeah, like I said, people flee to our lands a lot and we help them. That’s all.”

”So… the king wanting to have Ackermans fighting in the war…”

Levi nodded along to his words, knowing what conclusion Erwin had arrived at. ”Yeah, exactly. We’re not all of us some special bunch of warriors, most are just regular people who can barely hold a sword, let alone fight.”

”I’m sorry you’re treated this way, Levi. Gods know you don’t deserve it, no one does.”

Levi sighed. ”I’m just trying to keep the people I care about from becoming nothing more than paintings on a wall.”

Erwin thought back to the last time he’d been at the estate, to the hallways covered in paintings of different generations of Ackermans, how Levi seemed to have something to say about most of them. He didn’t say so out loud, but it warmed his heart to see how Levi cared, in his own way. He hated how wrong everyone seemed to be about him, how he suffered because of it.

In the silence, Levi looked at Erwin for a moment. ”So you don’t support it? The covenant?”

Erwin shook his head. ”Not really, no. It’s highly wasteful and inefficient, not to mention barbaric.”

Levi scoffed, amusement twinkling in his eyes. ”Hit the nail on the head with that.”

Erwin found himself smiling again, something that seemed to happen a lot whenever he was in Levi’s company. ”In any case, I’ll try to keep the king off of your back.”

At the mention of the king, Levi’s expression soured again.

”That old fucker. I hope he kicks the bucket soon.”

”Whoever comes after him might be even worse, though.”

Levi looked up at Erwin, gaze steady and sure. ”I doubt that.”

The tension between them was building again, nearing its crest. Erwin felt like water, in the way he was pushed and pulled by Levi so easily, like tides and the moon. It felt powerful, like something he’d never experienced before. Erwin knew he couldn’t let it take hold of him, but for a brief moment he wondered what it would be like to give in, to surge underneath the waves, to let the enormous force between them take him.

It felt frightening, the feelings swooping in his belly, fluttering about his ribcage. Erwin wasn’t sure if he liked the sensation of it. But he was coming to realize that it was something he’d have to get used to.

—

Chapter Text

It was taking every ounce of Erwin’s patience and grace to not groan and sigh as the king waved off his suggestions one after the other. Were he a different man, Erwin was sure he would’ve rolled his eyes so many times by then that they’d get stuck in the back of his head and render him blind.

The mere thought of it reminded him instantly of Levi, his often uppity attitude and the tendency he had to cross his arms and cock his hip as he stood, defiant and disrespectful in the presence of those that had not earned his true respect.

Without his say-so, Erwin could feel the edges of his lips pulling into a smile but he was quick to school his features into something serious and neutral before anyone took notice of such a slip up.

”No,” the king said once again, snapping Erwin out of his musings.

”My lord—”

”I said no, Erwin. It’s not a good idea.”

Erwin snapped his jaw shut, teeth clacking, eyes boring into the map spread out on the table between them, detailing the different districts of Eldia that were being attacked or already under siege, most of the clan heads present at the meeting and Erwin could feel all of their gazes watching him, tracking him, judging him. Their job was to do just that, to agree with what the king said and Erwin’s was to provide his educated opinions for them to disregard or so it seemed.

”As you say, my lord,” he said from between gritted teeth, keeping his eyes strictly ahead.

He was sure what he suggested was not so outlandish, to him it made perfect sense to implement changes in the military that would reduce the amount of casualties drastically, but each proposal he made only fell on deaf ears, no one willing to hear him out. The districts and cities were running out of supplies and Eldia was losing allies as well as soldiers by the day as they sequestered themselves further and further away while Marley spent all their time gathering allies and support. Erwin knew the marleyan king was no mastermind, but he was much more tactical than the man Erwin was forced to reason with.

It had been like that for many weeks now, all day long he’d be cooped up in the palace’s military hall, the midday sun coming and going, propositioning this and then that only to be coldly shut down time after time.

Erwin was beginning to wonder why he had bothered to return to Eldia in the first place, for surely he could’ve used his skills elsewhere and hastened the end of the war in some other way.

But at the same time Erwin knew there were things he still needed to find out and discover in his homeland, things he had tried to leave behind and found that he could not.

He’d spent a long time running away after his father’s death, the stale palace air and the mindless lectures having felt like a prison to him, but without knowing why his father had been taken from him, Erwin felt he’d never be able to know peace.

It plagued him, the secrets of Eldia, the things that were being kept from him, the things the people around him were planning. Erwin often felt as though he was trapped in a spider’s web, caught and snared, forced to watch as string after string was tied around him until in the end he’d be completely devoured.

Even now, looking around the room, he could see the king and his men, his advisors and his soldiers all glancing at him from time to time, as if they knew something. Erwin himself feared that what Marie had been hinting at would come true, that the king would name him as his successor. Erwin feared it, not because it scared him, but because he loathed to be trapped here, in Eldia, for the rest of his life, utterly alone and caged within the walls of the palace, away from the world and the people within it.

Because, even though Erwin was a good strategist, a good politician, a good diplomat, it was not what he wished to be, what he wanted to do. Erwin’s dreams were elsewhere and his wants—

As he pondered about it, he could not help but picture Levi’s face. Levi, who’d been in Eldia all of his life, bound by duty and his kind heart alike, just like Erwin himself.

Sighing, Erwin let his eyes wander about the room, wondering if the strategy meetings would be more interesting if Levi was there for him to gaze upon, to listen to his clever tongue and sharp mind, the never abating storm in his silver eyes, the twitch of his eyebrow when he was deep in thought and—

With another deep sigh Erwin pulled himself out of his musings, forcing himself to focus as the people around him droned on and on, praising the king for his minimal accomplishments.

However, he could not help but think that if he himself was king then Levi would perhaps be… but Erwin knew Levi wouldn’t, Levi had never and would never bend the knee, there was nothing special about Erwin that should change that. And besides, even after months spent back in Eldia, months of Erwin running into Levi every now and then, he still could not get a proper read on the man.

Levi was aloof and standoffish at the best of times, frowning and scowling as if it was all he knew how to do and Erwin would get used to that, his cold and distant demeanor, but then as if to tease him, like a siren’s song, Levi would let Erwin glimpse something different, something… softer, warmer. But it would only ever be something fleeting and then it’d be gone again, leaving Erwin sure he’d only imagined it after all.

It taunted him, pulling him in and luring him closer, the thoughts of Levi plaguing his mind at all times it seemed, never giving him neither rest nor peace.

For the rest of the meeting Erwin spoke not a word, watching as the clan heads moved pieces along the map like it was all a game to them and not real battalions of real soldiers that’d be sent out to fight fruitlessly, losing their lives for some meaningless gamble that never paid off. Erwin shook his head, his brow creased in thought and lips pulled into a frown, eyes flicking to and fro as he thought of all the things he could do differently if only—

Interrupting his own train of thought, Erwin realized there was still something he could do, a way for him to try and influence the king. And if nothing else worked, Erwin thought as he glanced out of the window, he could always just pay the training grounds a visit himself, trying out a more direct approach to implementing his ideas.

And so, cast in the dim glow of the setting sun, as the others rushed out, Erwin instead stayed behind to gather his papers slowly, offering to walk the king out. After all, they were still old acquaintances.

”My lord, thank you for inviting me once again today,” he said, slightly lowering his head as he opened the door for the king, letting him pass first.

”Of course, in fact—” the king began, a slight cough interrupting him and as he wiped his mouth on a satin handkerchief, Erwin pretended not to see the blood dotting it, ”in fact, your father used to advise the old king, just like this.”

Erwin nodded along, letting the king speak, his papers tucked under one arm as they walked.

”I remember those days so clearly still, the two of us here, in meetings quite like this one, being taught by king Reiss himself.”

For most of Eldia’s history the ruling family had been the Reiss clan, passing the title from parent to child, though the previous king Uri Reiss had surprised many clan heads with his decision to not name his brother’s eldest daughter as an heir, instead choosing someone with no noble background at all. It had been the first time such an occurrence had happened in some hundreds of years, breaking the long chain of Reiss kings and queens.

”Your father was a good friend, Erwin, I remember him fondly even after everything,” the king said, clasping Erwin’s shoulder.

Erwin minutely furrowed his brow at the odd phrasing, but decided in the end to not dwell on it.

”He was a good man too, smart and capable,” the king continued, looking around the halls of the castle as if he could see him there, haunting his vision, ”we studied here just like you, Erwin, under the king’s tutelage.”

Erwin nodded. ”Yes, he told me about his time here.”

”It was a different time then, much more peaceful, Uri Reiss was truly a blessing to Eldia, I dare say.”

The mere mention of it was enough to remind Erwin of the Ackermans, of Levi, thinking of how hard it must’ve been for Levi to lose his uncle at such a young age, around the same time as Erwin’s father passed as well. It had after all been Levi’s uncle Kenny Ackerman who had bent the knee to the king at the time, Uri Reiss, and he’d been the first Ackerman to do so after hundreds of years, the first and only one to do so after the brutal culling of the Ackermans.

The king turned to Erwin, ”I know you must feel useless at times, us old men speaking over you.”

Erwin only hummed, saying nothing.

”You are a capable man Erwin, but I envisioned a different role for you in this war than simply sitting in meetings with the old clan heads.”

After another small cough, the king spoke again. ”Do you know what the secret to peace in Eldia is, Erwin?”

Countless strategies and theories popped up in his head immediately, but Erwin knew that wasn’t what the king was talking about. ”I can’t say that I do, my lord,” he settled on instead to humor him, to see where the conversation was going.

The king had a pensive, faraway look in his eyes as he spoke next. ”The Ackermans.”

Erwin couldn’t help his surprised reaction, having not expected that to be the answer. Perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised him though, considering how obsessed the king was with the clan.

”What do you mean, my lord?”

”Whoever controls the Ackermans, controls Eldia as well, if not the entire world,” the king explained, face now much more serious than before, ”it’s why I asked for your help Erwin, we need to use the Ackermans to win the war, there is no other way.”

Erwin opened his mouth to disagree, but thought better of it. He knew there was much more to warfare than skilled fighters, and knowing now that there were only two true Ackermans left in any case, Erwin wanted to consider the king a stubborn fool for focusing so intently on the clan.

The king turned to face him once more, eyes stern and serious as he looked at Erwin. ”We’ll need the Ackermans, but believe me Erwin when I tell you that you can never trust that lot, never let them get close to you,” he said, starting to sound like madman to Erwin, spouting what sounded like conspiracy theories, ”if you let those dogs get too close, they’ll kill you, remember that Erwin.”

Erwin said nothing, could say nothing, not entirely understanding where the conversation was coming from, or where it was going. He only nodded to show the king he’d been listening, hands clasped behind his back as they began walking again.

”We’ll need that Ackerman dog on our side, there are great many things we could accomplish with him, Erwin, and I know you have what it takes to convince him.”

Erwin inclined his head in mock agreement, wondering why it seemed as though everything in Eldia always led back to the Ackermans, back to Levi.

After another moment of silence, the king spoke again. ”You remind me so much of your father, Erwin. And I’m glad you’re back in Eldia where you belong,” he said, facing ahead, ”as much as you remind me of him though, I hope you don’t turn out too much like him.”

”My lord?”

”Your father always was too curious for his own good,” the king said ominously, shaking his head. He turned to Erwin again as they reached the heavy doors that would lead outside. ”He often helped me with different things just like you’re doing now, Erwin. I was glad to be his friend.”

”He was a fine man,” Erwin agreed, remembering how he had admired his father, idolized him, always having thought he was the smartest and wisest man in the entire world. Erwin had only been a young teen when his father had been taken from him, having been orphaned in a single afternoon with no warning at all, everything having happened just so suddenly like that.

And Erwin was determined to find out what it had been that caused his father to be so mercilessly killed, the very reason he had decided to return to Eldia after nearly two decades of having been gone, traveling the world. Erwin hadn’t been able to stomach many years in Eldia after his father’s passing, having scarcely been a man when he had decided to leave altogether. At the time he had vowed to never return, but his own curiosity had gotten the better of him in the end. The very same curiosity that Erwin already knew had gotten his father killed.

After all, Erwin had always been his father’s son in many regards.

—

And so the following day found Erwin venturing out onto the training fields, sitting by the benches lining the sandy field, shaded by lines of tall green trees, then later walking around as cadets and new recruits began to gather, their squad leaders barking instructions and commands, correcting stances and ordering the most incompetent soldiers to run a few laps around the field.

The hunting dogs were barking in their nearby kennels, military horses prancing around, the stomping of their hooves rhythmic. The sun was high in the sky as Erwin finally approached the man seemingly in charge of the new recruits.

The man was tall, taller even than Erwin himself, with a messy mop of dirty blonde hair on his head and a set of furrowed brows as well as a thin mustache on his face.

Erwin bowed his head as he approached, offering his hand in a greeting. ”Hello, my name is Erwin Smith, I’m a strategist from the palace.”

The man gave him a dubious look, eyeing him up and down, even sniffing the very air between them before nodding slightly and clasping Erwin’s outstretched hand. ”Miche Zacharias,” he introduced himself curtly.

”Miche, it’s great to meet you,” Erwin began, ”are you in charge of training here?”

Miche took a moment before he nodded. ”I suppose, yes.”

”You suppose?”

He chuckled, shooting Erwin a funny glance that he didn’t entirely know how to interpret. ”I’m in charge of a squad of my own, I’m just overseeing the new cadets today until Flagon drags his lazy ass in here.”

”Flagon?”

Miche opened his mouth, but before he could answer, another voice piped up, followed by footsteps nearing the two of them.

”You’re covering for that incompetent asshole? Have fun with that,” the voice said and Erwin turned around to see a tall woman walking up to them, her blonde hair cut short in a no-nonsense haircut, strands of her bangs falling over her light blue eyes, causing her to try to flip them away every now and then.

She stopped beside them, briefly saluting Miche and then shoving her hands in the pockets of her uniform.

Miche smirked, gesturing towards Erwin. ”Nan, this is Erwin Smith from the palace, Erwin this is Nanaba, a member of my squad.”

Upon hearing that Erwin was from the palace, he could see Nanaba’s eyes widening slightly and her cheeks paling, realizing she had perhaps behaved a little too casually in front of him. Erwin however was quick to assuage her apparent worries.

”Pleasure to meet you, and please, there’s no need for any formalities either, I’m just helping the king as a favour,” he said, waving Nanaba off, who had begun to salute Erwin as well, though was quick to drop her hands after Erwin spoke.

Miche and Nanaba looked at Erwin with mild shock and astonishment lining their features. ”You’re helping the king?” Nanaba managed at the same time as Miche commented ”as a favour?”

Erwin chuckled at their surprised reactions, eyes flicking away briefly before settling again on his new companions. ”Yes, that’s right.”

”Well damn,” Nanaba said, crossing her arms across her chest and shifting her weight from one foot to another, ”how does one get a job like that? You a clan heir? I don’t think I’ve heard of a Smith before, though.”

Erwin shook his head. ”I’m not from any established clan.”

”So you’re friends with the king… how exactly? You guys frequent the same bars or what?” Nanaba continued, her curiosity clearly winning over her earlier hesitance, formalities all but forgotten.

”Just family friends, I suppose,” Erwin settled on in the end, a small smile pulling at his lips. He hadn’t had many instances of such easy conversation in a long time, everyone in the castle being quite stilted and formal, but even after just having met them, Erwin felt much more relaxed in the presence of Miche and Nanaba than he did with the king or Nile or even Marie. It was a nice change of pace for Erwin and he felt his shoulders relaxing and his posture loosening just slightly.

He talked some more with Miche and Nanaba, asking them questions about the military and its regiments, rubbing his chin in thought as he collected new information, fitting it in beside the plans he had formulated earlier and had tried presenting to the king, ways to reduce casualties and raise efficiency in the field.

Miche and Nanaba seemed to catch onto him quickly, their eyebrows raised in twinned surprise, quickly morphing into joy and excitement at the prospect of having found a seemingly well established person from the palace who was interested in what they had to say.

And indeed the two of them had quite a lot to say, many ideas and plans forming between the three of them, even as they were infrequently interrupted by Miche having to oversee the new cadets. But Erwin promised he’d do his utmost to pass their ideas on and to meet with them again to discuss things in even deeper detail which seemed to settle something in the two soldiers, as if a great weight had been lifted from their shoulders.

They had scarcely been talking for more than half an hour before another man joined them, Nanaba rolling her eyes at the sight of him and even Miche’s neutral expression soured somewhat.

”Who’s this?” The man asked, his hair light brown and falling over his eyes, a thin mustache on his chin.

Erwin turned to face him, offering him his hand, polite as always. ”I’m Erwin Smith,” he said simply.

Recognition flashed in the man’s eyes, his eyebrows raising as he took Erwin in.

”You’re that Smith guy? I’ve heard about you,” he said, not elaborating.

”Oh? I don’t think I’ve heard of you, though.”

The man gritted his teeth in mild annoyance, irritated and trying to figure out if Erwin was belittling him. In the end, he seemed to arrive at the conclusion that he’d better not dwell on it, instead introducing himself as Flagon, just as Erwin had suspected from Miche and Nanaba’s reactions, who had said not a word to the man since he’d arrived.

”Well? Where’s that dog of yours then?”

Erwin furrowed his brow. ”Pardon?”

”Flagon, give it a rest,” Nanaba immediately warned, but Flagon didn’t spare her even a glance.

Instead he smirked at Erwin, leaning in conspiratorially as if he was sharing some particularly clever joke. ”Oh you know, that Ackerman mutt, I heard you two are close and all.”

Erwin couldn’t help his mildly surprised reaction, not having realized that such rumors were spreading about him and Levi, considering to himself it still felt as though he was struggling to hold Levi’s attention long enough to hold even a small conversation with the man, Levi instead always stomping off and disappearing around the corner as soon as Erwin even thought of approaching him to say hello.

Though, perhaps the bar for being considered ’close’ with Levi was truly that low, that if one managed to converse with him here and there without being verbally or physically attacked, then they’d immediately be seen as being on friendly terms with Levi.

The thought caused Erwin to chuckle and he chose to ignore Flagon’s rather rude comments. After all, he was not there to pick fights or cause trouble, his goals were much further ahead than that.

”Yes, I suppose we’re somewhat close,” he said instead, looking down at Flagon.

He leaned away from Erwin, still smirking as if he had figured something about him, as if he knew something no one else did.

”So, how’d you do it?”

”Flagon, I’m serious, let it go,” Nanaba cut in again, clearly seeing exactly where Flagon was heading with his pathetic needling. But as before, Flagon paid her no mind, Erwin figured perhaps because she seemed to be of lower rank than him, that he’d only listen if Miche stepped in, but he in turn was content to let Flagon dig his own grave.

At once Erwin decided he was quite content with it as well. ”Do what?” he said, his tone dripping in dry sarcasm that seemed to fly right over Flagon’s head.

”Tame him I mean, how’d you manage it?” He was snickering as if he had come up with some particularly clever joke, but Miche only rolled his eyes at him and Erwin himself couldn’t help his eyebrows raising as he looked down at him in every sense of the word.

”I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Erwin said and whatever was in his voice seemed to quell Flagon’s attitude well enough, and he let the topic drop much to everyone’s relief.

Erwin had not known this was how people viewed him and Levi, that people viewed them together in any way at all. The thought of it left him feeling unmoored, unsettled and odd for the rest of the day and much of the following one, the thoughts of Levi and him as a pair settling into his belly and the spaces between his bones until he was feeling funny just breathing. He had never felt that way before, it seemed there were many things he had never felt before he had met Levi.

—

Erwin was at the palace grounds more often than not these days, Miche having introduced Erwin to the rest of his squad, the group of them discussing his ideas and seeing how they could implement them. Erwin had made many notes of riding formations, reconnaissance tactics and the like, all to try and help the military in any way he could, while the king was sitting in his castle sipping afternoon tea and choosing which battalions he could sacrifice, where he could stop sending aid and resources.

Erwin had tried to take part in a meeting still after the last one, but had ended up walking out as the king’s advisor suggested they use the civilians in the Karanes district as bait for the invading marleyan army, to trap and lure them there and then gun them down. Erwin had excused himself swiftly and he hadn’t been back at the castle since.

He had grown frustrated with the bureaucracy and mindless politics of the palace, much preferring to be out in the world and doing actual tangible things to help with the war effort. The old fools in the palace never listened to him and they never would respect him and his ideas, so Erwin refused to waste his time there any more than was necessary.

The king of course still tried to summon him, Erwin growing more and more sure that Marie was right and the old king was trying to groom him into becoming his successor, trying to show him how things were done in the palace. But Erwin already knew if he were to accept such a burden, then he would do things his own way.

He had utterly lost hope in dealing with the king when he even refused to help the civilians trapped in the outer districts that were being sieged by Marley, stating that he couldn’t afford to feed so many refugees and that such a surge of people would only flood the inner districts with marleyan spies.

Now the only time he spent on the castle grounds was on the training fields, often with Miche and sometimes even Flagon despite the two of them not entirely getting along even still. But nevermind their differences of opinion, Flagon wasn’t foolish enough to refuse help when it was offered, instead only scowling quietly as Erwin relayed his ideas to him. Even Flagon had to agree that his plans would improve the military’s success rates greatly and likely help save countless lives.

”If only the king could get us some rations and gear next,” Flagon commented once, shaking his head and staring at the palace.

Miche and Erwin nodded along to his words solemnly, eyebrows furrowed and minds deep in thought. ”Yes, I am growing more and more worried about the outer districts, nevermind the winter, I don’t think the people there are going to make it through the summer at this rate.”

”Why don’t you ask Levi then?”

Erwin turned to face Nanaba, who was looking up at him earnestly, though Erwin himself was failing to see the connection between Levi and the outer districts of Eldia.

”Pardon?” he questioned, eyebrows raised.

Nanaba let her eyes flicker between Miche and Erwin, as if she was silently asking for permission to speak. Seemingly having gotten it, she straightened her back and turned to face Erwin again. ”I just… heard that the Ackermans are helping the people fleeing from the outer districts, so… maybe he knows something we don’t.”

Erwin couldn’t conceal the surprise in his eyes, it had not crossed his mind at all but Nanaba was right; Levi had spoken to him before about helping the refugees fleeing to their lands, it was the reason he had stayed in Eldia despite clearly not holding much love for the country itself.

And so Erwin chose to do just that some time later, letting his feet take him to the Ackerman estate, the young girl he had met before there to greet him as he arrived. Or perhaps greet was not the correct term to use, as she was all but glaring at Erwin as he stopped by the gates.

”Isabel, was it? I’m glad to see you’re doing better,” he said, his words not having any effect on the girl who only kept glaring and scowling at him, not saying anything.

”I’m here to see Levi,” he continued, not wanting to cause any trouble.

Isabel scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, her arms crossed across her chest as she leaned against the old fence behind her. ”Yeah, I bet you are.”

”Isabel—”

”You shouldn’t be here, we don’t—”

”Izzy, give it a rest.”

At the sound of his voice Erwin turned around to see Levi himself walking towards them, a bucket of water held in his left hand. Erwin felt a warm rush going through him at the sight of him, he looked so good in the afternoon sun, his skin a little tan from being outside and glistening with sweat, his under eyes a little dark and his toned arms bare as he stood there and Erwin found he never wanted to look away from him again.

All at once it felt as though they hadn’t seen each other for so long, despite it having only been some weeks since Erwin had last visited the estate. A creek was bubbling in the background, shadows from clouds passing overhead and Erwin felt as though he couldn’t breathe as he looked at Levi. He had never felt like that before, never with anyone else.

”Levi,” he breathed, the sound escaping from between his lips in a rush.

”Blondie,” Levi greeted him in turn, ”what are you doing here?”

”I—” Erwin suddenly found himself at a loss for words, as if all else ceased to exist when he was in Levi’s presence like this. He inhaled, then exhaled, eyes following Levi as he took a few steps towards the gates.

”I came to see you,” he settled on in the end, finding the statement to be true. He had come to see Levi in the end, even if he had his ulterior motives.

Levi scoffed, his voice a little rough. ”The fuck are you saying? That you’d want to help me ’round the old estate? Tch, as if.”

And Erwin could not help the smile that pulled at his lips as he observed him. He thought of Levi outside in the setting sun, its light bleeding from his eyes and tracing down his cheeks, drawing freckles like constellations along the bridge of his nose, the two of them working side by side, existing near each other as just normal people and he found that he craved it, needed it even.

”Yes,” he said to Levi, ”I’d love to help you actually.”

And Levi looked up at him in badly concealed astonishment, letting his eyes rove over Erwin’s body in disbelief but finding that he had no objections in the end, for Erwin clearly was not unused to manual labour and could handle himself well.

He said nothing of the sort to Erwin though, only shrugged and began to lead the way, adjusting his grip on the bucket, shooting Erwin curious glances here and there, as if he was sure he was pulling some elaborate prank on him, as if he was expecting Erwin to change his mind halfway there, or to say that he’d only been joking after all.

But so they went, Erwin following Levi easily, deferring to him in this, letting him lead for a change. Isabel came with them, chatting with Levi, laughing at his dry comments and even Erwin could not help but smile as he looked at them.

As soon as they arrived there were people surrounding them, greeting Levi and Isabel like dear friends, smiling and clasping hands, someone took the bucket from Levi and another ruffled his hair, earning a light shove to the chest from the man. It dawned on Erwin then how deeply loved Levi was here, this place like his own little corner of the world where he had made a place and a home for himself, among these people and with them.

And even Erwin felt that he could breathe easier there, some tension bleeding out of his shoulders, the stress and negativity of Mitras disappearing like yesterday’s snow and Erwin felt so curious about this place, these people.

The group that had gathered around Levi now turned to look at Erwin with badly concealed surprise and curiosity, even mild hostility as these people were wont to do and knowing how the rest of Eldia treated them, Erwin could not fault them for their suspicions.

Levi introduced them all to Erwin briefly, Petra the seamstress, Eld the smith, then Gunther the butcher and Oluo and a few others as well, people that Erwin now knew were not true Ackermans but instead regular people who had fled the war and siege in the outer districts abandoned by the king that was meant to protect them, instead finding safety and solace in this place that was hated by everyone else.

Once again Erwin could not help the flare of anger that passed through him as he thought of the way others viewed Levi, how they hated him and these people even though they did more than the king ever could, had helped while never receiving any thanks for it.

Watching the way Levi interacted with not only the other members of his clan but the civilians they were helping left Erwin a little awed. Watching Levi it… it seemed as though despite his coarse and unrefined bluntness, he was also incredibly kind and almost sweet, however odd it felt to attribute such a word to him.

Erwin watched the way Levi moved around the people, the members of his clan following his every action as if magnetized, this ragtag group of people who had perhaps never followed anyone before now deferred to Levi so naturally, following his lead like it came easy to them, like breathing. The respect in their eyes was evident to Erwin, how they molded themselves to his authority, his guidance. It was stunning to see, since Levi painted himself in a very modest light, never drawing attention to himself or his skills or accomplishments. Even this he was sure to deny if Erwin ever spoke of it.

But Erwin was learning they perhaps didn’t need to talk of many things at all, an understanding having settled between them in the time Erwin had spent with him, something warm and tentative still, both of them curious of the other but still hesitant and shy about reaching out, of taking the first steps to get closer.

Though Erwin knew he was a curious soul, always had been, and he was indisputably curious about Levi, about who he was, and he had always also been loathe to deny himself these curiosities and even now as he was drawn closer and closer to Levi, he found he wanted to indulge himself this time as well, allow himself to get to know Levi.

There was such gentleness in him, such tenderness that Erwin could not even begin to mirror, hidden amongst the thorns he’d bristle if anyone ever got too close and Erwin wanted to, he wanted to get nearer and reach out with his hands, his mouth, perhaps, and see if he could touch and come away unbloodied.

And just like that Erwin found himself longing to stay and to do so he opted to help Levi in any way he could, repairing houses and roofs, farming and collecting food, helping with the animals and even learning how to mend clothes from a very kind and enthusiastic Petra. She seemed to be all smiles and especially so whenever Levi came to see Erwin, leaving with a swish of her skirts and barely concealed giggles.

”You’re here again,” Levi always said to Erwin, hands in his pockets, surprised to see him there time after time, helping around.

”I’m here,” Erwin would say with a shy smile, heart rabbiting in his chest at the sight of Levi, as if it longed to run towards him.

Life at the Ackerman estate was so very different to the busy lifestyle of Mitras that never seemed to afford Erwin any rest or peace, but whenever he followed Levi to his home he found his shoulders relaxing, his lungs breathing in deeply as if he’d been starving for that kind of peace.

”Y’know, I never did take you for one to do manual labour,” Levi huffed.

”Yeah?”

”Yeah, thought you were just a spoiled brat from the palace.”

Erwin laughed.

It was easy, it was a respite, away from everything else, from the war and the politics of the clans and the king. Without him noticing, it was as if Erwin had been baited and trapped in their schemes and nets, everyone around him planning and plotting, acting as if they knew more than Erwin, as if they saw something he did not.

But being with Levi, he could feel all of those strings and nets unspooling, left in a messy heap by his feet. With his mere presence Levi managed to untie him from it all, letting him breathe freely and flex his shoulders, relearning how life used to be for him, when he’d still been free from Eldia’s politics.

Though, maybe there had never been such a time, at least not anymore after his father’s death. Since then no matter how far Erwin had run, he had not been able to escape what still lay hidden, what his father had been forced to take to his grave. And somehow it all seemed to be tied to Levi, though Erwin could not yet say how.

—

One day as Erwin was once again choosing to spend his time around the estate, around Levi, instead of at the palace, there was an influx of refugees being escorted there by a woman on horseback, her ashy black hair a similar shade as Levi’s, as were her hurricane eyes.

”Mikasa,” Levi greeted her, straightening up. They’d been laying down cobblestone paths all morning, both Erwin and Levi stretching their backs and arms as they took in the new group.

The woman, Mikasa, slid off of her horse, patting it twice before grasping the reins and making her way to where Levi was.

”The situation is getting worse, I don’t think it’s safe to go to the southern districts anymore,” she began, not sparing Erwin a single moment of her time, ”I managed to get five people out of Trost but Marley is gaining ground there, the whole district will be under siege in a matter of days.”

Levi nodded along to her words, hand on his chin as if he was deep in thought.

”There’s no need to take unnecessary risks, we’ll just do what we can,” he said, looking up at Mikasa and meeting her gaze unwaveringly, ”so we’ll focus on getting people out of the western and eastern districts for now.”

Levi looked over at the group of ten or so refugees that had followed Mikasa in through the gates. ”So five from Trost and where are the other five from?”

”They’re from Karanes,” Mikasa said.

At that, even Erwin perked up, remembering the district being mentioned at the palace some time ago. ”Karanes? Is Marley nearing the eastern districts then?”

For the first time since arriving there, Mikasa turned to look at Erwin, her eyes shifting between him and Levi a few times before answering. ”It seems likely yes, there isn’t an immediate need to evacuate there but Marley is advancing.”

Levi looked at Erwin for a moment longer before facing Mikasa once more. ”And did you see…”

Understanding what he meant, Mikasa shook her head. ”No, I saw no one from higher command.”

Levi nodded, but Erwin paused to think about it. Higher command? Did they mean Marley’s high command? What would they be doing in Trost or Karanes? What did Levi want with them? Erwin did not know and thought it better not to ask just then, in front of everyone. Instead he filed these thoughts away for a later time.

After that, Mikasa left and the new group was already being helped by other people, some of them eyeing Levi with awe and hostility both, his name being very well known throughout all of Eldia, even in the outer districts.

”Levi,” Erwin said, approaching the other man, ”have you been to the outer districts? What is the situation like there?”

Levi gave him a long look, gathering their work tools from the ground. ”Come with me, I’ll show you something.”

And so they went, carrying their equipment to Hanji’s lab where most of the tools were being kept. As they walked in they were greeted by Moblit who was already tending to the newcomers, but the two of them paid them no more mind as they walked further in until they reached where Hanji was apparently busy tinkering with some monstrosity that Erwin couldn’t make heads or tails out of.

”Hey, four-eyes,” Levi called out to get their attention. His voice apparently pulled Hanji out of their immersion, their head banging against some metal part as they looked up at the two of them.

”Oh, hi Levi and Erwin! Fancy seeing you here!”

”What are you doing?” Erwin could not help but ask.

”This? Just some new weaponry I’ve been working on!”

At that, Erwin could not conceal his shock. ”Weapons? You’re making weapons?”

Hanji in turn acted as if Erwin’s shock was, well, shocking to them. ”Yes, of course. We’re in the middle of a war!”

Erwin was left standing there, speechless, blinking and gaping at Hanji.

”Well, you wanted to know,” Levi remarked from the sidelines.

”I was referring to intel from the besieged districts, not… whatever this is. And yes, what is this exactly?”

”Oh relax Erwin, it’s just my invention, I’m hardly mass producing these! Don’t worry, we’re not planning to overthrow the government or anything.”

Levi chuckled but Erwin couldn’t get a word out of his mouth and before he could try, another person walked into the room.

”Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had company,” a woman said, Erwin and Levi both turning around to look as she spoke. In the doorway stood a young woman with short reddish hair cut in a very angular style, clutching some papers in her arms. Her golden eyes flicked between Levi and Erwin, greeting the former with a polite nod and then turning to give Erwin her hand.

”I’m Nifa, Hanji’s assistant. I’ve heard so much about you, Erwin.”

Erwin shook her hand but said nothing, still processing the shock from earlier.

Levi scoffed at him in amusement, shaking his head. ”He thinks we’re planning something nefarious, don’t mind him.”

”I don’t— I didn’t— I don’t know what I’m thinking,” Erwin mumbled, scratching his head.

”… Right, well, I’m just here to give these papers, then I’ll go help Moblit with the newcomers.”

”Thank you, Nifa!” Hanji hollered as they were handed the papers and with a curt nod Nifa was off again, the door clicking shut behind her as she went.

Erwin brushed his hair back with his hand, sighing. ”So—”

”You want to know how to help the outer districts,” Levi stated.

”Well— yes.”

Levi shifted his stance from one foot to another, even Hanji awkwardly clearing their throat in the background. ”You wanna know how to help them? Defeat Marley, is how.”

”I know Eldia won’t make it through the winter, but Trost and Shiganshina—”

”Won’t make it through the summer, so Mikasa has told me as well. They don’t have food, the soldiers there don’t have weapons anymore, no gear. They’re sitting ducks, waiting for death or disease to take them. Marley has them surrounded.”

Erwin nodded along. ”And the king is only worried about the inner districts. They don’t care, they don’t care that the people out there are going to die, civilians and soldiers both.”

Levi sighed, saying nothing.

”I have to do something, I have to try and talk to the king, we have to start gathering allies before it’s too late.”

”Talk to the king? To help them you’d have to be the king,” Hanji cut in, Levi and Erwin both turning to look at them.

A heavy silence settled between the three of them, Erwin furrowing his brow as he sunk deep into thought once more, not noticing how Levi looked at him, kept looking at him, something shining in his sterling silver gaze. In Levi’s eyes, his mind was already made, logic abandoned and madness embraced, to Levi even gods were lesser than Erwin.

Levi was no strategist, he was a fighter, a warrior, a soldier, a killer. It’s what he knew, what he was born to do, to follow kings to their wars and graves alike. And then there was Erwin, with his ocean blue angel eyes, who was not a king but who ought to be, who saw things others did not, his clever mind and gaze set on something Levi could not yet see, finding himself even thinking that he didn’t mind not seeing, not knowing, that if Erwin asked him, he’d follow him blind, uncaring of where they were heading.

It was new to Levi, to think that way of someone, all these days of Erwin spending time with him and not even asking for anything from him left Levi feeling unsettled, riddled with something like growing pains. He was so used to independence, it was strange to think of himself swallowing his pride, of even kneeling down with bleeding knees and—

But Erwin had not asked him, not anything. Erwin acted as if he cared about Levi, for Levi, as if he spent time with him because he wanted to, not because he was aiming for something or because he wanted Levi to do something for him. So he hadn’t asked him and Erwin wasn’t a king in any case and still all Levi could think of was his uncle’s words.

”Aren’t us Ackermans always destined to love the men who fly too close to the sun.”

”What does that mean?”

And he could remember Kenny looking at him, really looking at him, scoffing and ruffling his hair.

”Promise me Levi, that you’ll kneel to no king or God.”

Looking at Erwin, Levi knew they’d lose the war without him, that they needed Erwin to be… to become king. That despite these peaceful days they had at the estate, he wouldn’t ever be Levi’s to keep, instead he’d have to give him up to the world, so he could save it and be a hero or some great man recorded in history and remembered warmly for decades to come.

And although Levi ached to be by his side, and he’d do it in a heartbeat if Erwin asked it of him, he wasn’t sure if he had what it took to offer himself and his heart voluntarily. He wasn’t sure if he was wanted, him and his awful reputation, a dog licking at Erwin’s fingers just to taste some scraps of affection he had never had before.

He just… had never expected Erwin to be so tender, it had never been like that before. It had never been like that before.

—

Chapter Text

The wind was rustling the leaves outside of the study, the windows open to let the breeze in, curtains flowing along with it. A branch was knocking against the glass panes rhythmically, keeping Erwin company as he went through the different books and notebooks gathered in the room, along the walls in bookshelves taller than the man himself.

He could remember how it had felt being a young boy, following his father into the study, the shelves then had seemed as large as mountains, the books as big and thick as Erwin’s entire head. Now it was just a room, though Erwin still couldn’t help but glance towards the desk in the middle of it all, dark mahogany still scratched in places and lacquer chipped, and see his father sitting there with his head leaning against his hand as he studied, pen tapping against his lips in deep thought.

It had always been just the two of them here, Erwin’s mother having passed away from the same plague that had eventually orphaned Marie as well some years later, when they had all been young still. Erwin could not remember her as a person, but there were pictures of her all around the small cottage his parents had once shared. Erwin’s father had raised him all alone, but he had always told young Erwin of his mother whenever he had asked.

From his father’s tales, Erwin had always imagined his mother as a silent and stubborn woman, steadfast like an anchor rope to the flying kite that was his father. Erwin himself was much like him, head always in the clouds, eyes tilted up towards the stars, mind wandering here and there. Even his father had always said so, that once Erwin grew up it would do him good to find someone who liked to keep their feet on the ground instead, or else Erwin might fly away with the winds entirely.

With a sigh Erwin closed the book held in his hand, the covers slamming shut with a thud, a small dust cloud erupting from between the yellowed pages, causing Erwin to close his eyes to shield them and let out a small cough. At length he put the book back in where he had found it, slotting it on its rightful place in the bookshelf, letting his finger linger on the spine where his father’s handwriting still decorated it.

Slowly he turned, looking around the room, so many books he had already gone through, but just as many left, and he had found not a trace of his father’s last research notes. It plagued Erwin, not knowing why his father had died, what it had been that he’d found that had cost him his life.

The house around him was throbbing with silence and once Erwin started to feel as though the walls were going to cave in on him, the entire structure collapsing in on itself, he made his way away from it all, going to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.

It had never been something he had thought to really indulge in before, only sometimes drinking it in polite company, but after countless afternoons and mornings spent in Levi’s presence, sipping different blendings of tea until Erwin could even start to point out his favorite ones, Erwin had quite developed a taste for the drink.

Even now, putting the kettle on the stove, waiting for the water to start boiling, Erwin could not help but be reminded of him. And as he reached for the blend Levi had gifted him some days before with a sour scowl, all but shoving the small bag into his hands, he could not help the smile tugging on his lips. Lately it had felt as though his mind was insatiable, his entire body as if eating away at itself, more and more, every time these incessant thoughts of Levi resurfaced, Erwin’s entire being began to howl and scratch at itself in search for more, as if no amount of Levi could ever be enough.

He was not entirely sure what to make of it, relationships of any kind never having been his strong suit and most of all, he oftentimes found it quite difficult to get a read on Levi, the other seemingly blowing hot and cold without any shred of logic to be found in his actions. If Erwin managed to glimpse any softness at all from him, it would be gone just as quickly, Levi hiding away the soft and fleshy parts of himself under a thick armor that was hard to penetrate.

The water boiled, the kettle screeching and as Erwin was pouring water into a neatly decorated porcelain cup, a part of a collection that had once belonged to his mother, there was a knock at the door of his house, causing Erwin to pause and look towards the sound.

He furrowed his brow, unsure as to who had need of him at such a time, but also knowing there were scarcely more than three people who even knew where he lived at all. He lowered the kettle, placing it away and making his way through the small house, opening the door to reveal Nile standing there, grumpy as he often was.

”Nile? What brings you here?”

The other man scoffed, irritated and already pushing his way inside the house, briefly brushing against Erwin’s shoulder. ”Took you long enough,” he grumbled.

Erwin was left standing there, staring at the space Nile had occupied moments ago before he managed to snap back to himself and close the door. ”By all means, waltz right in.”

”I don’t have all day to stand here and wait for you to invite me in,” Nile hollered from the living room. When Erwin followed him, he found him sitting on his couch, arms crossed and a familiar scowl already on his face.

”It’s dusty in here.”

Erwin chuckled at his friend’s curtness. ”Would you like something to drink?”

Nile glared at him. ”I didn’t come here for afternoon tea, Smith.”

”Pray tell, what did you come here for? It must be urgent for you to come all the way here to see me.”

Nile glanced away, huffing, looking at anywhere but his old friend. Erwin realized whatever it was that Nile had come to tell him, had come to ask from him, must’ve taken a lot for him to do, he had always been a rather proud sort, unwilling to ask for help or to show weakness.

”Nile,” he prompted, leaning against the doorframe, ”why did you come here?”

It took some more moments before Nile spoke, not meeting Erwin’s eyes as he did. ”I need you to talk to the king about dissolving the covenant,” he said, voice barely above a whisper, broken and hurting.

”Nile…”

”No, Erwin, listen to me!” Nile stood up suddenly in determination, ”he’s getting sicker by the day, he’s going to die any day now and I can’t—”

Erwin said nothing, only looked at his childhood friend who was at his wits end in a very unfortunate circumstance, that had repeated itself time and time again in their kingdom. It was an awful, awful thing to lose a parent, let alone both of them, and even worse so was having to watch those parents walk into death entirely needlessly, albeit reluctantly.

Nile sighed, his breaths shuddering like sobs. ”I can’t lose them like this, Erwin, they’re both in good health and there’s no reason…”

”I know,” Erwin said, crossing the room to lay a comforting hand on Nile’s shoulder, ”it’s a cruel bond, that covenant.”

”Then do something, Smith,” Nile said, desperate, ”you have to talk to him—”

”I don’t have nearly as much sway with the king as you seem to think I do, Nile, he won’t listen to me.”

A scoff from Nile and Erwin let his hand fall away from him. ”Everyone is always talking about you, you know. About how the king favors you.”

Erwin said nothing, letting Nile speak.

”He’s going to pick you, I hope you know that,” he finished.

”Marie said as much as well,” Erwin remarked, noticing how much darker and stormy Nile’s expression became at the mention of her name.

”You talk to her?”

”Yes, I’ve talked to her. She lives at the palace, Nile, it’s hard not to run into her there.” Erwin knew that’s not what Nile meant, what he was after, but he couldn’t help the dry sarcasm from bleeding into his voice.

And indeed, Nile rolled his eyes, tired and sick of Erwin’s bullshit.

”That’s not what I meant and you know that.”

Erwin looked at Nile intently, choosing which words to say. ”Are you being jealous, Nile?”

Another scoff. ”In your dreams, Smith. I was just asking, that’s all.”

Nile being keen on Marie was something Erwin had offhandedly come to realize when they were all still children growing up in the palace. Erwin had always been very sharp and perceptive while Nile in turn had never gotten good at concealing his thoughts and feelings. They flitted through his eyes freely and even now Erwin could see the jealousy and frustration brewing there.

Marie being the king’s ward was only permitted to marry whoever the king arranged for, she would never get to choose for herself in this regard. Erwin had long suspected that the king was likely to marry Marie to whoever would be named as an heir to the throne, wanting to secure a new bloodline to rule over Eldia. The king, despite his many flaws, still wanted peace and stability for his kingdom and the country had never known peace quite like they had under the rule of the Reiss family.

The old ruling family was all but gone now, decimated by the plague that had ravaged Mitras, but the current king had been a successor of theirs nonetheless, chosen by Uri Reiss himself, though for what reason, Erwin could not say. At the time everyone had expected king Uri to choose his brother’s eldest daughter Frieda as his heir, but he had not done so. Many had tried to guess what the reason for such a decision had been, but with Uri Reiss gone they’d perhaps never find out what he had been aiming for. Maybe he had wanted to dissolve the royal family altogether, to make it so Eldia would never be ruled by bloodlines anymore, or perhaps there had been something he and his niece had disagreed upon.

Erwin looked at Nile, his oldest friend in the world, who was stuck in the webbing of the royal family, his parents beholden to a dying king and the woman he loved awaiting marriage to someone else entirely.

At length, Erwin sighed, pulling himself out of his musings. ”I know you’re sweet on her, Nile.”

The other man sputtered as if this was news to him, but when Erwin said nothing more, he calmed down, breathing deep, eyes trained on the floor and at their feet.

”You always were too damn smart for your own good, Erwin,” he sighed, still looking away.

”You’re just too easy to read, always have been.”

A heavy silence settled between them, their bond having been much simpler in their youth, now it was riddled with the complications of adulthood, duty and love.

Erwin sighed, ”Nile, the king won’t dissolve the covenant, you know this.”

The look Nile gave him was heart wrenching, reminding Erwin so profoundly of the way he had felt upon finding out his father had died. Losing a parent was an awful, awful thing.

”You could still at least try.”

He nodded. ”That I can do, but I cannot promise you anything.”

Nile looked away from him again, hands behind his back, watching the birds flying in the small garden outside, now overgrown with weeds and uncut grass.

”You know,” Erwin began again, ”your parents were not forced to bend the knee, Nile, they chose to fulfill their duty to the king.”

The other man scoffed again, chuckling. ”No one wants to be seen as useless traitors like the Ackermans, of course everyone always bends the knee.”

Erwin could not help but agree with him there, the social repercussions for so publicly opposing the king would always be massive, and the infamous Ackerman clan was a good example of that. After centuries of going toe to toe with the ruling family, they were hated with passion, barely even considered eldian at all anymore.

Nile was the one to break the silence next, chuckling at something he had thought of. ”My parents tell me you’re being very difficult in those meetings,” he said, eyes laughing at the funny memory.

”Difficult?”

”’Uppity’ is the word they used,” Nile clarified, looking over at Erwin, ”you’re known for being quite contrary, for opposing the king. Even though everyone thinks it’s only because you know he favors you that you dare to go against him.”

”I oppose him because his stubbornness is costing us this war,” Erwin said, ”and I will continue to oppose him for as long as it takes for him to pull his head out of his ass and see that his nation is dying.”

”Aren’t you crass? I can tell you’ve been spending too much time with that Ackerman,” Nile huffed, ”besides, the king has promised multiple times that Eldia has enough resources to last the winter, that you’re worried over nothing.”

”And what he means by that is that the inner districts have enough resources to last the winter, while the outer districts will be left to starve.”

Nile looked at him dubiously, as if he was waiting for Erwin to deliver some punchline to his bad joke.

”He wouldn’t do that,” he said, uncertain, as if he wasn’t entirely convinced himself either.

”Wouldn’t he?”

Nile opened his mouth, then closed it, not knowing what to say.

—

But Erwin made good on his promise to Nile, accepting the next summons to the palace, intending to speak with the king about the covenant, about many other things as well.

The hall was, as usual, filled to the brim with the different clan leaders, this time Erwin specifically took the time to look for Nile’s parents, though he dared not go and speak to them. He only observed them from afar, the weary and exhausted look to them mirrored in their son. Briefly his gaze met that of Nile’s father, but he turned away from Erwin too quickly for him to even consider greeting him.

As the meeting began, clan representatives gathered around the large rectangular table placed in the middle of the hall, waiting for their turn to be called forth and present their reports and ideas. The king immediately invited Erwin to come stand closer to his end of the table, sparking murmurs around the room. Erwin went quietly, acquiescing with a slight nod of his head, facing the scrutiny of the nobles head on.

Erwin looked at the different nobles gathered around the table, realizing that he was perhaps the only person there who had earned his place through his skills and not his lineage. Even though he stood where his father had stood before him, they had both of them worked for their positions, studied and learned to be considered the finest strategists in Eldia.

There were other experts in the large hall as well, representatives of different districts and spokespeople from all of the major cities, ones that would normally be called forth to present the information they had brought from far away to be heard by the king, but based on how each and every one of them were lurking in the edges and corners of the room, they already knew the king would not hear them.

The meeting began, if it could be called such, the nobles all but taking turns to praise the king and his actions, describing how well their lands and their people were doing despite the looming war. Erwin could feel the pressing silence from the representatives lining the far walls, the gaunt looks to their faces and the darkness in their eyes speaking the truth of how most of the eldians were actually doing.

”… and our military is fighting bravely against the marleyan warriors,” the military leader concluded, a man Erwin had heard many unkind things of from Miche and Nanaba, though he could not place his name in the moment.

The thought of his friends in that moment was perhaps what caused Erwin’s patience to overspill.

”Bravely perhaps, but quite needlessly,” he remarked, causing the entire room to halt to a standstill, many pairs of eyes turning to look at him with disdain and scrutiny.

”Care to elaborate on that, Smith?”

”We are using inefficient brute force against Marley’s much more advanced forces, causing our troops to suffer needless losses,” Erwin began, facing the military leader head-on, ”Marley’s weapons are leagues ahead our own and not only that, but they are trading with their many allies while Eldia stands alone.”

Erwin raised his chin high. ”We ought to utilize better strategies for our troops in battle to ensure we keep as many soldiers alive as possible and we ought to upgrade our arsenal as well.”

”Upgrade our arsenal? Like we just have these inventions lying around?”

Erwin couldn’t help his small pleased smile. ”I’m so glad you spoke out, commander, for I happen to have made quite the interesting acquaintance some time ago. They happen to have ingenious inventions at the ready for mass production, weapons and many other equipment that our military could make great use out of.”

”Oh? And who is this mysterious inventor? Why haven’t we heard of them before?”

”Their name is Hanji Zoë, I am glad to have made their acquaintance some weeks past.”

The uproar was large and immediate, Erwin almost stumbling while standing still as the bodies around him began hollering, protesting loudly and moving around in their hurry to disagree with him.

From among the myriad of voices, the king’s sickly cough still rang the clearest. ”We are indeed aware of inventor Hanji and we are not going to utilize their inventions. Eldia’s troops are doing just fine without any of these fancy weapons.”

”And why not?”

”Pardon?”

Erwin turned to face the king directly. ”Why are you choosing to not work with inventor Hanji? Surely we can all agree that their inventions would benefit Eldia greatly.”

The king scoffed, leaning on his hand. ”You know why, Erwin.”

Through gritted teeth, Erwin managed ”please, do enlighten me, my lord.”

It was instead the military commander who spoke next, his face twisted in anger. ”We are not going to work with some Ackerman whore.”

Agreements were loud in the room, Erwin taking a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache brewing behind his closed eyelids. It was insufferable, trying to work with these people, with the king. How bound and blinded they all were by their ridiculous perceptions of the world, of the Ackermans. It was maddening how little they cared, how easily they could ignore human suffering and look away from the carnage they caused by refusing to act.

”My lord, you tasked me to find anything of the Ackermans’ that we could use, yet now you refuse me?”

At that, a cold laugh rippled around the room, a ridicule, as if everyone present knew something Erwin did not. Erwin looked the king in the eye as the old man spoke next, a grin tugging at his lips.

”I did not task you to work with the Ackermans, I tasked you to con them, Erwin, to steal from them.”

Erwin was sure he was gaping, blue eyes wide with surprise. Yet perhaps he shouldn’t have been quite that shocked in the end.

”And if you can bring me the prototypes of those weapons or some blueprints, we’ll be sure to start manufacturing them here, comissioning proper eldians.”

The conversation moved on after that, Erwin stupefied and feeling unmoored, disconnected from everything around him. Somehow even still, the king and his nobles’ hatred for the Ackermans managed to find new ways to surprise him. Erwin had so foolishly thought this was something he could change, that if he could bring forth Hanji’s inventions or Levi and Mikasa’s intel then perhaps the king would invite them to work with him and not only focus his energy on pressuring them to bend the knee. That there was a way to work with the Ackermans without subjugating them. That they were people too, not dogs, that they were proper eldians too.

Even as the meeting was ending and the noble clan heads were starting to filter out of the room, Erwin still stood there, stunned. The king stayed behind with him, watching him.

”You’re so much like your father, Erwin,” he remarked after the hall had filled with nothing but silence, ”he always felt sorry for those dogs, too.”

”I don’t understand why you refuse to work with them,” Erwin sighed, ”Hanji especially isn’t even an Ackerman by blood, why can't you look past this for the good of Eldia?”

”Don’t speak to me about what’s good for Eldia,” the king spat out, ”in fact, you should be thanking me, boy, that I’m inviting you here at all, that I’m considering you as an heir even after everything you have done.”

Slowly, Erwin looked up. ”Why?”

”Why what? Speak clearly.”

”Why are you considering me as your heir? You refuse to listen to me, you deny all of my requests I— I cannot understand your logic, my lord.”

The king looked at him for a moment before replying. ”It’s precisely because you oppose me that I’m considering you, Erwin. Everyone else here goes along with what I say, which is all fine and good while I am king, but the next king cannot be one so easily swayed by others.”

It all still seemed like madness to Erwin, how the king was supposedly testing him in this way, putting him on a trial to see if he’d break.

The king raised his chin, looking down at Erwin. ”But you are still too much like your father, Erwin. And if I’m going to name you as an heir, I am going to insist that you kill whatever sympathy you have for the Ackermans.”

At length, Erwin turned to face the king, eyebrows furrowed as he took in what the king was saying.

”I’ve always thought that it’s a mark of a true king, to be able to catch and tame an Ackerman. My predecessor Uri Reiss was the first to manage it in decades, and I’ve seen you with that Levi and… I know you can do it, Erwin. I know you can tame him too, use him like he’s meant to be used.”

”… what? My lord—”

”That’s what the Ackermans are for. I know it, all of the nobles know it. I’d wager even that marleyan Yeager knows it. And you need to know it too, Erwin, or you’ll never be able to rule Eldia, or to win this war.”

”My lord…,” Erwin began, choosing not to argue with the king about the Ackermans, knowing he’d never be able to convince him of his plans if he crossed him now. As much as it hurt him, Erwin knew he needed to play smarter than that, to look farther.

”We cannot win against Marley by brute force alone, my lord you know this,” he finally concluded, leaning against the table to look the king in the eye.

The king seemingly thought that Erwin on some level either agreed with him about the Ackermans or was otherwise willing to overlook what had been said, thus leaving himself willing to hear out Erwin’s other ideas.

With a sigh, he leaned back on his chair. ”Then what do you suggest?”

”We need diplomacy, politics, we need to start gathering allies before it’s too late.”

The king looked at him, dubious but considering. ”I don’t know Erwin, it seems like a weakness to gather other nations around us. Eldia is strong enough to stand alone.”

No one is strong enough to stand alone, Erwin thought, but knew better than to say so out loud.

”It’s hardly a weakness, besides, Marley is doing it as well. They’ve already allied with many major houses and kingdoms, we can do the same.”

”What did you have in mind?”

Erwin knew this was his chance to influence the king, that he was being tested now and if his idea worked, then the king would be more amicable towards his other ideas as well.

”A diplomatic ball, my lord.”

”A ball? I don’t know, Erwin—”

Erwin took a hurried step towards the king, eager now that he felt he had a foot in the door again. ”My lord, it’s the perfect opportunity for the clans to socialize, to meet other nobles and royals, to make matches in marriage and for us to gain support and sympathy. We cannot make ourselves into pariahs, we must uphold connections and relationships to other nations.”

The king listened to him, considering. ”You make a fine point, I suppose.”

Erwin sighed from relief. ”Thank you, my lord. You won’t regret it, I’m sure it will yield effective results for us all.”

The king all but rolled his eyes at him, but before he could dismiss Erwin, the blond knew he had to honor his promise to Nile.

”Also, my lord, I’d like to inquire about another matter, on behalf of an old friend of mine.”

The king turned to him, nodding at Erwin to continue.

”I’ve discussed a matter with Nile Dawk, you may remember him—”

”No.”

”… Pardon, my lord?”

”I know what you want to ask, and the answer is no. I know young Dawk quite well and I know he wants me to dissolve the covenant and I won’t do it, so drop it now before I lose my temper.”

Erwin turned away to leave, but he knew he couldn’t give in quite so easily. ”And may I ask why?”

The king stared him down, eyes dark and serious. ”It’s tradition, Erwin, it shows loyalty. If Mr and Mrs Dawk are wanting to betray their king they are free to do so at any time. They’ll be hung for such a crime of course, so there’s hardly any winning for your friend in this matter.”

His answer was as Erwin had suspected, the king was much too self involved to see what was good for Eldia, instead wanting and desiring such violent acts of loyalty to be displayed for his sake in the name of something as flimsy as tradition, even if of course he’d never be alive to see the spectacle itself anyway.

Erwin had kept his promise to Nile, though he vowed to himself to bring the topic up again at another time but chose not to press on it for now and risk losing the victory he had gained regarding the diplomatic ball.

With that, the king shooed Erwin out of his hall and for once he left in relatively high spirits, even Marie commenting on the new gleam in his eyes as he hurried out of the palace.

—

The ball was held some weeks later, Erwin walking around the palace’s ballroom dressed in clothes he had to borrow from his father’s closet with a drink in hand, watching the people milling about the room, coming and going.

The attendance was good, better than what Erwin had expected, but it couldn’t be denied that people were curious about Eldia, after all the nation was known for being quite separated from others, many nobles from foreign lands had never been there at all.

At first Erwin was left largely to his own devices and he spent his time chatting with different foreign nobles, striking up alliances here and there, though he couldn’t help his eyes from wandering around, looking, seeing Nile and Marie, the former keeping his eyes strictly on her as she socialised, smiling and laughing sweetly. Whenever she did, Erwin couldn’t help but notice how tender Nile looked, as if all worries evaporated from his mind at the mere sound of her voice.

He shook his head at the them, sipping his drink. He couldn’t help but think of the three of them, childhood friends, but now the palace’s schemes were tied to them like stones, dragging them into lower depths with each passing day. Erwin would untie his friends, if he could.

He sighed, his eyes settling on the floor, for a moment only watching the shuffling of his own two feet. All of the noble houses of Eldia were invited to the ball and Erwin knew who it was his eyes were looking for, his ears turning towards the sounds of feet on the lacquered floors, heels clicking all around, listening for the sure steps of two feet in particular. He detested feeling so eager to see Levi, his stomach swooping in anticipation at the mere thought of being able to be near him again.

They had not seen each other in quite some time, Erwin having once again been busy at the palace and organising the ball that he had had no time at all to spare for visiting Levi at the Ackerman estate. And he’d been so busy he had had scarcely time at all to even dwell on their separation, but now that he was here and his mind could slow down for even a moment, it insisted on thinking about Levi, what he was doing, if he was going to make an appearance—

Erwin sighed again, swirling his glass and watching how the golden liquid inside sloshed against its confines, sparkling in the low light of the room.

He was unused to feelings like this, never really having been one to pursue long term relationships with other people, scarcely even having that many friends in all of his life. He had always loved books, his time spent imagining different worlds or dreaming and thinking about the one he lived in. Head kept in clouds at all times, eyes looking towards the sky, feet never touching the ground at all.

Even as a child his only friends had been Marie and Nile and even that had been due to Marie’s social nature, her insisting on spending time with him and unable to leave him alone to his daydreams and musings, and of course along with her company had come Nile’s and for many years it had been just the three of them.

As an adult Erwin spent most of his time traveling and as such he never settled anywhere for long enough to form any kind of deep relationships with the people around him. He got along fine with locals and made acquaintances everywhere he went but friends were another thing entirely, let alone anything more than that.

But now, with Levi, it seemed as though for the first time there was something in him that Erwin wanted, that he craved. No other person had ever left him feeling like that, like he was choking, dying, throat parched and something enormous clawing inside of his chest cavity, rattling his ribs and the tender flesh of his organs.

It was new to Erwin, not something he could read about in any of his father’s books. He wasn’t sure what it was, and not knowing something had always been a feeling Erwin disliked. He had never been one for mysteries, his clever mind always wanting to jump ahead to the conclusion. But with Levi, he felt as though there was none, no logical conclusion Erwin could make of the things Levi made him feel.

Erwin was watching the glimmer of alcohol in his glass, the instrumental music echoing around the large rooms, people gathering around, some dancing, chatter lively in the air until suddenly there came a heavy pause, filled with tension, people and bodies turning around to face the large open doorway.

Even Erwin himself was pulled out of his musings, lifting his head and his clear blue eyes wide as they landed on—

Levi.

He’s here.

Erwin’s full lips parted around a gasp, his body jerking forward, feet moving a few aborted steps towards Levi before he was able to reign himself in, reluctantly stopping though still unable to tear his gaze away.

Levi was standing there, hair neat as always and his lithe frame accentuated by the immaculate cut of his clothes. His skin was paler, betraying him having needed to spend more time inside than outside in the sun, where Erwin felt he belonged. He was still standing far away on the other side of the room but Erwin could feel his gaze on him like a living thing in the way that it roamed around his body, taking in the way that he looked, just as he was doing to Levi.

The entire room was full of people, yet in that moment it felt as though no one existed in the entire world except for the two of them.

He tried his best to hide it but Erwin could see his nervousness in every line of his body, the way he posed himself betraying how uncomfortable and unsettled he truly felt in the presence of so many noble clan heads and foreign politicians, all of them looking at him, judging him.

Levi declined a glass of alcohol from a waiter and adjusted his sleeves before finally stepping further into the room, gossip and whispers erupting around him as he walked, people from all around the world so clearly interested in him, in the enigma that he was, his skills, his looks, his attitude all known far and wide.

A surge of something hot flared through Erwin at the realization of it, of how others were looking at Levi, talking about him. His body felt like it was laying on embers as Erwin forced his feet to move, to make his way to where Levi was, as if he could shield him away from everyone else with just his presence alone.

Levi stopped walking as Erwin began, watching him as he approached him, the crowd of people around them disappearing from his view entirely as his gaze locked onto Erwin, the others making room as Erwin moved, as if they all wanted to see them interact, as if it was the only reason any of them were there to begin with. It felt as though not a single person was breathing inside of that ballroom, each of them waiting with baited breath to see what Levi and Erwin would do and say to each other, if it was true what they rumoured, that Erwin had tamed him.

Erwin moved calmly, body not betraying the haste his mind felt, but he was standing in front of Levi soon enough, having discarded his glass somewhere on the way, his fingers now flexing as he towered over Levi, looking down at him with parted lips, something in his belly twisting and turning as he was stood close to him like this, though the rest of his body settled, calm and content and still trying to resist the urge to cup his cheek in his hand, to brush his hair away from his eyes with his fingertips.

”Erwin,” he breathed out, chin tilted up towards him, the storm in his eyes shimmering in the low light of the room, the gentle glow cast by the chandeliers above them shining down on him like liquid gold. He reminded Erwin so much of the stormy night skies above restless seas, thunder roaring in the distance with lightning violently striking across the dark skies, stabbing through the clouds of rain.

”You came,” was all Erwin managed to say then, a smile tugging at his lips.

Levi huffed, eyes flicking away briefly before settling on Erwin again. ”I was invited, wasn’t I? I have manners, y’know.”

”I’ve spent enough time in your presence to be allowed to forget about these so-called manners of yours,” Erwin chuckled.

Levi rolled his eyes at him, Erwin’s smile widening as he watched him.

Silence settled between them, the air thick inside of the palace, and for all of his usual smoothness, Erwin found all of his charm disappearing as he tried to think of what to say.

”You know, I talked with the king about Hanji’s inventions—”

Levi interrupted him with a wave of his hand. ”Don’t talk about the king to me, blondie, I can’t stand it.”

”Fair enough,” he said, fond, ”then, what would you like to talk about?”

Levi looked around the room, huffing, the strands of hair falling across his eyes moving as he did, Erwin entranced by their small dance, the way the light reflected in his raven hair.

Erwin wanted to talk with Levi about everything in the world there was to talk about, tell him of the world he had never seen, of his studies, ask after Levi’s people, he wanted to try guessing his favorite color and what foods he liked to eat, everything there was to know about Levi, Erwin wanted to find out but before he could do much more than open his mouth to express such wishes outloud, they were interrupted by foreign nobles approaching them.

”Mr Smith?” A woman asked, blonde, clad in a shimmering blue dress that hugged her slim figure. Erwin smiled at her politely, offering his hand in greeting, pressing his lips chastely against the back of her gloved hand.

”It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss…?”

”Mrs Tybur, pleased to meet you.”

”Mrs, of course, my apologies,” Erwin smiled, introducing himself to the other people in the woman’s company, her husband and other associates before turning to Levi.

”This is Levi Ackerman, clan head of—”

”—of the Ackerman clan, yes, I’ve heard quite a bit about this Levi,” Mr Tybur said, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he looked down at him.

Levi however could scarcely open his mouth to greet the newcomers before all of them were turning back to Erwin.

”Have you known Levi quite long, Mr Smith?”

A flash of confusion passed in Erwin’s eyes but he shook it off, smiling politely. ”It has been some months now.”

”Months? And you’ve yielded such results? You are every bit as impressive as your king says,” Mrs Tybur said, delighted, clapping her hands together once, the jewelry on her wrists clattering and clinking together as she did.

”Results?”

The group gathered around them chuckled, something nasty settling in Erwin’s stomach at the sound of it.

”Results, yes, we’ve heard nothing from the king but how difficult Levi can be, but he seems so docile now.”

Erwin furrowed his brow, glancing down at Levi, who stood by his side, utterly quiet. Levi seemed equally as confused as Erwin himself felt, and so he turned back to the Tyburs and their companions.

”Apologies, but I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

The group of them however brushed him off, continuing their line of questioning.

”We were so enthralled by the king’s decision to open Eldia up to the rest of the world,” Mr Tybur said, ”and we heard you had your hand in the decision.”

Erwin nodded slowly. ”Yes, I talked with the king—”

”Have you considered trade agreements?”

As he was interrupted, Erwin faltered but only slightly, soon smiling politely at one of the other nobles present.

”Uh, yes, we have many great ideas for opening trade with the other countries of course, and Eldia has a vast amount of resources—”

Again he was interrupted, the nobles chuckling as if they knew something Erwin did not, as if they considered him quite ridiculous. Confused, Erwin looked at Levi, seeing his confusion mirrored in his expression, then slowly his gaze landed on the king who was standing at the other end of the room, a glass in his hand, looking intently at them.

As their gazes met, the king raised his glass at him, and fragments of their previous conversation flitted through Erwin’s mind, his lips parting, mind working to form conclusions, to make sense of what was being implied, what was being said in between the lines.

”Resources? Yes, indeed,” Mr Tybur chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.

It was his wife that jumped straight to the point next, however.

”Have you considered breeding him? He’s at that age you know.”

A beat passed in utter silence, then two and three. Erwin felt as though his heart was in his throat, rising to his mouth like bile, a sour taste on his tongue. He couldn’t have heard right, surely she could not have— but the way Levi stiffened by his side, eyes wide like a rabbit caught in a hunter’s snare, told Erwin that he had indeed heard entirely correctly.

Slowly his head turned to face Mrs Tybur, her eyebrows raised and blue eyes wide and innocent as if they were only talking about a—

A dog.

Near silently, a gasp escaped him, his mind working to form any words whatsoever, to say anything at all. The conversation carried on around him however, his mind woozy and spinning, the entire world having tilted on its axis.

”You do know that age affects the fertility of males too, don’t you Mr Smith? You should use him while he’s still in his best age.”

”I’m sure Mr Smith knows, but it could take a while to find a suitable mate, you know, genes on both sides are important.”

”Oh, I’d love to see a pureblood one, after that whole fiasco some years ago they really lost in numbers,” someone said, sighing, ”it really is a shame.”

”But the king promised just one drop of blood would be enough, it’s fine if they’re not both Ackermans—”

”—Yes the king did promise that, but I heard there was another one, a bitch that was also an Ackerman by blood, one that survived the revolt—”

”—there’s another one? Where did you hear that from? We really need to start negotiations as soon as possible—”

”—Oh I’d love a female one, you could easily get many pups that way—”

Erwin felt sick, sick and faint and like he could scarcely stay upright on his own two feet. Harshly he gripped Levi’s shoulder, the other man deathly pale and silent as if frozen in place.

”Could you, um, could you excuse us?” But he didn’t stay to hear if they did, only grabbed Levi with him, firmly keeping him close as he forced his limbs to move them both away.

Erwin’s breathing was heavy and erratic as he all but dragged Levi away with him, away from those people, though he suddenly longed for much more than that, to be able to somehow keep Levi only to himself, where he could be safe and protected from the greedy hands of others.

Levi’s entire demeanor was sunken, his gaze clouded over and somehow even the shadows under his eyes and below his cheeks seemed so much darker, like bruises that Erwin longed to smear away.

Levi took a shuddering breath, eyes still unseeing, not looking at anything in particular. ”They were talking about Mikasa—”

”They were talking about you!”

Harshly Erwin ran his hand through his hair, grabbing a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, downing it and grabbing another one and drinking that as well before placing both empty glasses back onto the tray.

Levi seemed shellshocked, as if he didn’t entirely occupy his own body at that moment, his eyes still distant and vacant.

”Erwin—”

”Dance with me.”

Grey eyes flicked up to meet blue. ”What?”

”Dance with me, Levi.”

”Yeah, I heard you blondie, I meant wha—”

Erwin however could not give him the chance to finish, after having been forced to witness first hand how people across the world and outside of Eldia viewed Levi as little more than a dog, had left something awful deep inside of him, something that was restless and would not settle until he had Levi close in his arms.

And so he did just that, his arms wrapping around Levi’s smaller frame, one on his waist and the other on his shoulder, the gnawing ache inside of him already lessening as he saw the way his hands engulfed Levi’s body, how they fit in the gaps between his muscles and bones.

As if on autopilot, Levi let Erwin guide him, the music swaying around them, the two of them focusing on that and each other, the way their bodies felt pressed so close together, as if nothing else mattered.

Levi let his hand settle on Erwin’s wide shoulder, the other reaching out to take Erwin’s other hand in his, shaking as he intertwined their fingers, their eyes never leaving the other’s gaze.

Levi let out a shaky breath, body shuddering, the two of them moving across the floor, slowly swaying along to the music.

He had always been a person who was proud, who refused to trust the world, who had never been given a reason to see much good in it. Levi was the strongest, always had been, it was what he was known for. And he had so many people in his life who trusted him, who depended on him.

Ever since—

Ever since those times, in the dark, Levi could still remember holding Mikasa’s hand, dragging her forward and he could remember the look in Kenny’s eyes, when Levi was still so young, when he realized the adults in his life were broken, couldn’t look after him or themselves. He remembered the day his mother had died, Levi had been so young when he had needed to grow up, and he… he couldn’t remember if he had ever trusted another person, truly, deeply trusted them to lead him, to guide him.

Instead he had always been that for others, for Mikasa, for the remnants of his clan, for everyone who joined them, Hanji, Petra, Isabel, Furlan, Moblit… so many people who looked up to him, followed him, who depended on him in one way or another.

But perhaps without knowing it, he had craved that type of security, that type of safety. To be able to finally sit down by the side of the road he’d been running down, to rest his feet and have someone else look out for danger.

And now, being so close to Erwin like this, looking up into his eyes, and all of the times they had spent together, working, talking, Erwin proving time and time again how he viewed Levi as just himself, not the strongest or the Ackerman dog, but as Levi and it… it settled something in him. Even now he had proved it with the way he reacted with shock and disgust when he was shown how people hated Levi, detested him. Erwin didn’t think of him that way, not about any of them, and he was perhaps only the second person in Levi’s life who had been that way, outside of his own creed.

Levi had been seeking that kind of trust and he had found it in Erwin, this man who had all of these hopes and dreams for the world, who was willing to work for what he saw as right, who was kind and good and steady, someone for Levi to finally lean on and simply close his eyes.

Levi didn’t think he’d ever felt so safe as he did in Erwin’s arms.

The gentle music was rhythmic and melodic as it swirled in the air around them, guiding their steps easily. Levi had his eyes locked onto Erwin’s, utterly unable to look away despite the heat he could feel climbing up his belly and neck, warming his cheeks and sweating his hands.

But he only gripped Erwin tighter, feeling in turn how Erwin held him closer as well, pulling him nearer, his breath warm as it brushed Levi’s skin, like touch without touch.

They had both of them all but forgotten the earlier incident, Levi especially feeling his worries melting away as Erwin’s body shielded him from the world, but the taller man was not yet satiated, could not shake off his worries and his newfound possessiveness over Levi as he could still feel the eyes on them, curious and greedy gazes landing on the two of them, on Levi, these monstrous people who wanted to take him, own him and tear him apart, use him until there’d be nothing of him left.

Erwin could not stand it, the thought of it. And yet, as he danced with Levi, he could see across the room, the king once again standing there, watching them with a wicked smirk on his face, satisfied as if all of his plans were coming into fruition right before his eyes.

Had Erwin been a lesser man he might’ve scowled, even growled out of sheer displeasure and possessiveness, but instead he shielded Levi away, guiding the two of them further away until he felt that no one else could see them anymore.

He sighed deeply, letting some of the tension bleed away from his body, trying his best to focus on the music and the feel of Levi held against him so closely.

”This is nice,” Erwin said idly, as if he couldn’t help himself from breaking the silence.

”What is? Dancing?”

”Yes, I’ve been stuck sitting at a desk for these past weeks, this is a very welcome change of pace.”

Levi scoffed. ”I can’t picture you sitting at a desk.” He’d always only seen Erwin in motion, always coming and going, always leaving. He could only picture Erwin walking away from him and not turning around to look, to see Levi seeing him.

”Well, I do it quite a lot,” Erwin chuckled, never realizing the things that were passing through Levi’s eyes whenever he looked at him, whenever they talked to each other.

With a sigh he continued. ”I wish I didn’t have to do it as much as I have to right now, believe it or not but doing paperwork isn’t actually my dream in this life.”

The music shifted from one song to another as Levi looked up at Erwin, watching the way the light danced in his golden hair, the way it cast playful shadows onto his cheeks and under his eyes.

”Well what’s your dream then?”

”My dream?”

Levi nodded.

”Hm, if I had to say, my dream is the world,” Erwin said.

A scoff from Levi and Erwin could not help but smile. ”That sounds like a stupid dream.”

Erwin chuckled, spinning Levi around. ”I want to sail like a ship, stopping at whatever harbor I choose, leave when I want, go where I want. I’ve always loved this world, so my dream is to see it, to experience it in its entirety.”

Levi’s lips parted around a silent gasp, eyes sparkling before he forced himself to look away. The things Erwin said always managed to touch something deep inside of him, awakening something, bringing forth something that Levi had never known had been there before, something that he’d once buried deep and then never looked at again.

Levi always felt so pliant whenever he was near Erwin, so willing and soft that it surprised him every time. He’d never felt this way before, had never been so eager to submit to anyone before, in fact he’d always imagined if he ever did… care for someone in this way, he’d have to be forced into it, kicking and screaming, trying to claw his way out the entire time but with Erwin it wasn’t like that, and it surprised him, it kept surprising him.

He yearned for Erwin’s touch, his presence, his talking. He felt so needy and codependent, like a leech in the way that he wanted him, his mind always returning to and lingering in the hours they had spent together, body thirsty and his heart rate up, trying to pause and catch his breath just to be able to function at all.

Of course, being an Ackerman, Levi knew what that meant. His uncle had told him after all, about the plights of the Ackermans. And Levi wanted to think it was this bond that was forcing him still, that he’d never act like this on his own but… it was getting harder and harder for him to deny his own wants and his own actions. With every moment shared between them it was growing more and more clear to Levi that he wanted this, wanted Erwin.

The Ackerman bond his uncle had told him about after all could not create something out of nothing, could not force his will or his hand for that matter. The wants that swirled inside his belly whenever he was near Erwin were all his own and his choice to stay by his side was his just the same. He had chosen Erwin, he kept choosing Erwin.

”Why aren’t you doing that then?”

”Hm?”

Levi looked away as he spoke, hoping the burn he could feel rising on his cheeks from their close proximity was hidden by the dim lighting. ”Why aren’t you traveling the world like a ship? Why are you here?”

”I wasn’t supposed to stay this long at all, I only planned to come here for a fortnight,” Erwin said, spinning the two of them around.

Levi could tell Erwin hadn’t really answered his question at all, something he had noticed he did quite a lot. It often frustrated Levi, how Erwin managed to sidestep him, how effortlessly he evaded questions and spun stories so you wouldn’t ever even see how he had dodged, like a magician doing little tricks that you’d only notice once you knew the secret to them.

And why Erwin did that, Levi could not know and it frustrated him even more. Maybe it was something he had picked up from the castle, from being around all of these conniving diplomats and nobles that Levi detested, or maybe it meant that Erwin didn’t trust Levi at all, that after all the time they had spent together he still felt the need to avoid Levi’s questions, as if being honest was a vulnerability he couldn’t afford.

”What changed your mind?” Levi asked, deciding not to press the matter.

Erwin looked down at him, eyes widening in mild surprise as if he had never before considered his reasons for staying, his lips parting to answer but before he could do so, they were interrupted, the song drawing to a close as well.

”Erwin?”

The two of them broke apart to see Marie standing there, dressed to the nines in a beautiful dress, her hair done and curled beautifully and her make-up immaculate, the redness of her lips immediately drawing one's attention.

”Marie? Is everything alright?”

”Quite alright, thank you, I was wondering if I might steal you for a dance as well?”

She was smiling sweetly as always, though there was a tension to her that Erwin couldn’t help but notice.

Erwin could scarcely open his mouth to reply before Levi was already stepping away from his grasp, looking away, shutting himself away. It ached Erwin to see it.

”You two have fun then,” he mumbled and then he was off, hands shoved into his pockets as he stalked away.

Erwin watched him go, his chest feeling hollow at the sight of it, though with a shake of his head he was able to tear his gaze away and turn to face Marie instead, taking her slender hand in his.

”Shall we?” Erwin smiled, leading Marie a little towards the center and away from the far edges of the room he had taken Levi to.

As the music picked up again, a livelier song this time, Erwin and Marie moved along easily, both of them more practised with ballroom dances than Levi had been, him having needed more leading from Erwin.

”Did the king put you up for this?” Erwin asked, holding Marie a polite distance away from himself.

”I can’t ask my childhood friend to dance without needing some excuse, is that it?”

Erwin looked across the room, finding Nile easily by the way his gaze was burning into the two of them.

”Of course you can, I would’ve thought you’d go for a different childhood friend, though.”

Marie looked away quickly, even her lovely makeup not enough to hide the way her cheeks were burning.

She huffed, her styled bangs moving as she did. ”Nile is right about you, you’re far too clever for your own good.”

”So I’ve been told,” Erwin chuckled.

A brief silence settled between them, the music changing from one song to another.

”Has he asked you yet?” Marie said after a while, voice barely above a whisper.

”Who, the king?”

”Yes, has he asked you to be his heir yet?”

Erwin shook his head, not saying anything more. At that point even he couldn’t deny that the king was planning something, wanting Erwin as his heir, making him socialize with Marie, the way he seemed so pleased to see Erwin and Levi interact… the webs around them all were tightening, pulling them closer together, digging into their limbs and threatening to pull them apart completely.

It left a sour taste in Erwin’s mouth, the way the king saw Levi, the way he wanted to use him. It filled him with a burning anger, his breaths quickening. He ached to treat Levi gently, to cherish him, but the world would not let him.

The king had all but said it all, him wanting to have Erwin as his heir, him wanting to use Levi, for Erwin to use Levi and what for… it was becoming increasingly clear what the king wanted from the Ackermans and it was not as it had first been told to Erwin.

He twirled Marie around as all the other couples did, her dress fanning around her artfully, glittering under the lights.

Erwin opened his mouth to chat idly again, to distract them both, but as he did so his gaze found Levi, as if he’d been looking for him without even realizing it, his blue eyes shining as he saw the other man leaning against the far wall with a drink in his hand, looking right at Erwin and Marie.

He seemed surly, like he was scowling, his back a little hunched, making him seem even smaller than usual. Normally it felt that Levi stood out in any crowd he was in despite his stature, but now he was all but blending into the wall, brows furrowed and eyes dark as he sipped his drink.

But Erwin’s eyes found him easily, helpless, intrigued. They held eye contact for quite some time, neither able to look away, Erwin’s heart rabbiting in his chest restlessly, as if it was urging him to go, to leave and to be by Levi’s side like he longed to do.

”—win?”

Marie’s voice pulled Erwin out of his reverie, the people moving about soon blocking his view of Levi as well and he was forced to tear his eyes away, to look down at Marie instead as she spoke.

”Pardon, I was lost in my thoughts, did you say something?”

She sighed. ”I was only asking if you’ve made any progress with the books, the ones in your father’s house. You said you were sorting through them.”

As she brought it up, Erwin’s mind was once again tangled in the webs around him, thinking of the king and his father who were childhood friends as well, close even in their adulthood for as long as Erwin could remember until…

Until… what?

If Erwin thought about it, he could remember the time his father was researching, cooped up in his study and even going somewhere while leaving Erwin with someone else to watch over him, it had been something he never talked to Erwin about but that he always said was important, important to Eldia and to the… the Ackermans as well.

”Ackermans?”

”Yes, Erwin, they’re an old clan here in Eldia.”

”Why are you studying them?”

His father had looked up from his notes then, looking right at Erwin, reaching out to ruffle his hair. ”Something very bad happened to them, I’ll tell you about it when you’re a little taller.”

His father had always said ’when you’re taller’ and not ’older’, to give himself more leeway. It had been strange for Erwin, normally his father did not keep anything from him, but this he had not been willing to share.

He’d likely been researching the culling of the Ackermans, that much Erwin knew, but that was relatively public knowledge, Erwin could remember hearing about it in the castle as well, so there had to be more to it.

Again, Erwin tried to see what picture the puzzle pieces in front of him formed, pieces of his father and the king, the Ackermans, Levi and the king again, Nile and Marie and himself. But no matter how he tried, there was still something missing.

”No, I uh, I haven’t found the one I’m looking for quite yet,” he said, eyes far away.

”Oh, well I hope you do soon, I know how you can get when you’re obsessed with something,” she chuckled, eyes twinkling with mirth.

”Yes… thank you.”

Soon the song came to an end and Marie pulled away from him with a smile that Erwin only barely managed to reciprocate, mind already running ahead of him. For a moment he could only stand there, running his hand through his hair and messing it up, eyes flicking to and fro as he thought about everything that was happening.

He grabbed a glass of alcohol from a passing waiter and then another, downing them in quick succession. Erwin wasn’t one to drink normally and having done so now would likely backfire on him soon, but suddenly it felt that too much had happened during the diplomatic ball for him to remain sober anymore.

Erwin felt rattled to his core somehow, he’d been kept busy doing the king’s bidding and had scarcely had any time at all to devote to searching for his father’s research but now that Marie had reminded him of it, it was suddenly all Erwin could think about.

He was swaying on his two feet, the alcohol rushing to his head, making it that much harder to think and to concentrate.

But even in his unsteady state, like a ship following a lighthouse to lead it home again, Erwin’s eyes found Levi, settled on him. He was standing on the other side of the room, still leaning on the wall, seemingly nursing the same glass he’d had since Erwin had last seen him a few songs ago.

Without his say-so, Erwin’s feet began to lead him there, following the beacon that Levi was, as if something in him was calling out to Erwin, promising rest and safety.

On his way Erwin downed a few more glasses of alcohol, his head buzzing and body thrumming with something he had no name for.

But just as soon Levi was there, leaning against the wall, a drink in his hand that he deposited on a nearby table as Erwin neared him. He was scowling, brows furrowed but then again that seemed to be his most natural state. As such, Erwin took no notice of it.

”You make a good couple,” Levi mumbled as Erwin approached him, looking off to the side and refusing to meet Erwin’s gaze.

”Who? Marie and I?”

A nod, his scowl deepening.

”She’s ah— she’s an old childhood friend.”

Levi turned to look at him, clearly noticing the slight slur in Erwin’s speech. ”Shit, are you drunk?”

”No!”

Levi rolled his eyes, scoffing. Erwin couldn’t help the idiotic smile that pulled at his lips as he did. ”Yes you are, you fucking moron, c’mere.”

Erwin stepped closer as instructed, soon towering over Levi, all but leaning on him.

”Fucking lightweight idiot,” Levi mumbled, ”alright let’s get you home.”

”Home?” Erwin asked as he felt Levi placing a steadying arm around him, beginning to lead him out of the ballroom and the palace.

”Yes, I’m taking you home before you embarrass yourself and this entire fuckass country.”

”You curse a lot.”

”No shit.”

”It’s funny,” Erwin slurred, leaning further against Levi, who didn’t even seem mildly bothered by his considerable weight.

”Uh-huh, sure,” Levi scoffed, ”now tell me where the fuck do you live, blondie? Some fancy Mitras district I’m sure.”

”’s that way,” Erwin said, trying his best to lead Levi towards his father’s house despite the alcohol rapidly rising to his head, making everything a little muddled. Erwin wasn’t drunk out of his mind but he had never really learned to handle his drinks since he drank quite rarely, but Levi managed him quite well.

”Tch, you’re much easier than that four-eyes is after just one drink,” Levi said, causing Erwin to realize he had spoken out loud.

The night air was cool, the sun still high in the sky and soon they reached the house, a small cottage really, tucked away amid greenery and trees that nearly engulfed the entire estate.

Levi helped Erwin open the door and then got the two of them inside, helping Erwin get to his rooms and leaving him to change while he went ahead and got him some water.

As he made his way through the house he couldn’t help but chuckle, seeing nothing but books piled up in every corner, open notebooks scattered about and pens laying around on every surface. It wasn’t dirty, just messy and Levi knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else from Erwin.

He was walking back from the kitchen with a glass of water in hand, rolling his eyes at the sounds of Erwin bumping into furniture when he passed by a picture frame of what could only be Erwin as a baby, held by his parents.

He paused in front of the picture, noting that Erwin had never really talked about his childhood much at all. It was however the image of Erwin’s father that had Levi truly pausing, looking at the man and realizing with a jolt that he looked familiar. Though Levi couldn’t immediately place him and so he shook his head and went back to Erwin, knocking on the door to make sure the other was decent before stepping inside.

Levi placed the glass on the nightstand, saying nothing.

”Thanks,” Erwin muttered, sitting on the bed.

When Levi didn’t immediately leave, Erwin grew curious, brow furrowing as he watched the other man worrying the inside of his cheek.

”Is something the matter?”

Levi glanced away briefly, pulling his overcoat tighter around himself before facing Erwin again. ”You said that woman was your childhood friend, the one from the castle.”

It wasn’t phrased like a question, but Erwin nodded anyway. ”Marie, yes, I’ve known her since I was quite young.”

The water and the night air had sobered Erwin up a little bit, but his mind was still buzzing and it was hard to follow the logic in Levi’s sudden questioning.

”So you grew up in the castle?”

Erwin hesitated before answering, unable to understand what had brought this on. ”Yes, I did.”

Levi was tapping his feet against the ground, his shoes in the doorway and the sound of his thumping was barely audible, but Erwin fixated on it anyway. ”But you’re not a noble.”

”… no.”

”So why were you at the castle?”

”Ah, the king he uh— he sort of took me in after my father died.”

”What happened to your mother?”

Erwin blinked up at him, eyes owlishly wide and lips a little parted, his cheeks still flushed from the drinking. ”She died when I was very young, I don’t even remember her at all.”

Levi said nothing more for a while, his scowl deepening as if he was thinking hard about something, or trying to remember something. Erwin couldn’t even begin to guess where his mind was going, but as the silence stretched between them, he decided to help him along, just in case.

”My father he ah… he was friends with the king. He worked at the castle alongside him, while the previous king was still ruling.”

At that Levi turned to look at him, his eyes serious. ”Uri Reiss? Your father knew him?”

”Yes, yes he did.”

”How did he die?”

Erwin sighed, suddenly very tired. ”An illness I think, one of those plagues that went around Mitras at the time.”

Levi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest. ”Not the old king, your father, how did your father die?”

It was true proof of his inebriated state that Erwin replied at all, if he’d been in his right mind he would’ve known to keep quiet, would’ve sidestepped Levi’s question like he always did when it came to his father.

”Oh,” he said, ”he was killed, ah, shot in fact.”

Erwin fell back on the bed, feet dangling over the edge and as such he didn’t notice the utterly shellshocked look on Levi’s face, eyes wide and lips pale as he stared ahead into nothingness.

”It’s why I’m here at all,” Erwin mumbled, sleep already pulling at his mind, ”I want to find out what really happened to him, and to find his last research.”

”Research?”

”Hmm, yes, I didn’t mention that before?”

Levi said nothing, only stared ahead, worrying the inside of his cheek.

”The research he did… about Ackermans?”

Erwin slung an arm over his face, clearly half asleep already.

”I believe so, yes. I can’t be sure until I find it.”

It was utterly silent again, the quietude felt like relief to Erwin but to Levi he could feel it pressing in on him from all sides, caging him in. Distantly he could hear wind chimes in the garden and a tree branch knocking against the window.

”… Levi?”

Levi opened his mouth then closed it, finding no words at all that he could say to break his shock, though he needn’t say anything, as soon Erwin was already fast asleep.

—

Chapter Text

”Well, well, well… if it isn’t the ’Hope of Mankind’ himself!”

Erwin scoffed, shaking his head. ”Give it a rest, Miche.”

”No, no I’m serious here! I can’t believe Eldia’s saviour himself has come to grace us with his presence!” Miche laughed, eyes crinkled in mirth.

Erwin could feel a slight burn of embarrassment on his cheeks, unable to meet his friend’s eyes as he walked towards him. The sweltering heat of summer was slowly making way for the cooler days of early Autumn, the breeze finally offering a respite as the leaves gradually turned from green to yellow to orange, the sun setting earlier and rising later.

Thanks to Erwin’s efforts, Eldia had managed some small victories against Marley on the battlefront but also had made great advancements in diplomacy, having been able to strike up alliances with different houses such as the Azumabito clan that also had some ancient ties to Eldia itself as Erwin had come to find out. He was ecstatic at the prospect of finally being able to put his skills to actual use, to be able to forge trade agreements and other alliances with different nations, to be allowed to finally glimpse at a prosperous future for Eldia.

The ripples of hope could be felt all across the nation, renewed energy flowing especially into Eldia’s military troops, who had been suffering at the front lines for so long now, but could finally start to see proper advancements happening all around.

And Erwin was glad to see it, glad that his work was paying off and most of all, he was glad to see that it was working to keep his new friends safe in battle. Miche’s team had only recently returned from a mission to secure the western districts, another part of Erwin’s plan to ensure that Marley would not have the opportunity to surround them on all sides. The mission had been a success as Miche and Nanaba’s safe return to Mitras indicated, the war front still focused mostly on the outer districts in the Southern part of Eldia.

As Erwin reached his friend, he could not help but pull Miche into a hug, clapping the other on the back, joyous upon seeing him safe and sound.

”Welcome back, Miche.”

His friend chuckled at his reaction, thinking to himself that the mission had not been so dangerous at all since Marley had hardly dispatched anything other than small groups of spies in the western districts. But he said none of it to Erwin, knowing the other already had his nerves frayed thin and with anxiety being a constant companion to him these days. Miche was only happy to let his friend enjoy their reunion instead.

As Erwin pulled away, he clasped Miche’s shoulder. ”How’s the rest of your squad?”

”All fine, we’re the best Eldia has after all, well uh, besides…”

”Besides Levi, yes,” Erwin finished for him, understanding that for Miche, the topic of the Ackermans was still much more sore than it ever would be for Erwin, isolated as he had been from Eldia’s politics for so long.

”… right.”

Erwin let his hand drop away and back to his side, his eyes roaming the training grounds where many familiar faces were walking around, Erwin trying his best to make note of each one. He could easily spot many members of Miche’s squad, such as Nanaba, but also other more high ranking members like Flagon. He was always relieved to see them all doing well despite the rising tensions and many losses Eldia had still suffered at the hands of Marley.

”Erwin!”

The two men turned to see Nanaba making her way towards them, quickly wrapping Erwin into a brief hug.

”It’s good to see you!”

Erwin smiled. ”You as well, Nanaba, how are you?”

After stepping away from Erwin, she had her hands on her hips, her head tilted to the side like a curious animal’s. ”We’re doing excellent thanks to you.”

”Oh, I don’t know about that—”

”Let me compliment you, Erwin! I’m serious, I don’t know where we’d be if not for your ideas.”

Erwin sighed, not having the heart to dismiss Nanaba in the face of her earnest thanks. ”Well, I’m glad I’ve been of use, it certainly doesn’t feel that way whenever I’m in the palace.”

All three of them turned their now somber gazes onto the castle that loomed right outside of the military’s barracks and high command, as if always looking down on them all.

Miche hummed, crossing his arms across his chest. ”I can imagine, those fuckers do nothing but twiddle their thumbs all day.”

Erwin nodded along to his words, not sure what else to say.

”I don’t know how you stand them, Erwin, I can barely listen to what the commander says let alone if there was a room full of men just like him,” Nanaba scoffed, shaking her head.

”Well, they certainly don’t make it easy to be in their company, I can tell you that much,” Erwin chuckled, a small smile pulling at his lips.

He’d come to consider Miche and Nanaba as friends during these past weeks that he had known them, finding it easy to relax in their company and to enjoy their presence. As a commoner, Erwin never truly felt like he belonged in the castle, among those nobles and other high ranking officials, he much preferred the easy company of the people he truly saw as his peers, people who understood him and who Erwin could relate to.

Perhaps if things had gone differently in his childhood, and he had grown up in the palace without the heavy shadow of his father’s passing looming over him, then Erwin would’ve felt more at home there, could’ve made friends more easily, adapted to the palace’s lifestyle better.

But as things were, he had always felt alone there, despite Marie’s best efforts, as though something had been knocked loose in him when his father had died, something that was still tilted inside of him, not sitting in its proper place.

Nanaba opened her mouth to perhaps say something more, only could not before Flagon suddenly rushed over to them, out of breath and heaving as he leaned on his knees, trying to steady his thundering heart.

”Flagon? Is everything alright?” Erwin took a step closer to him, the three of them immediately on alert, as Flagon wasn’t the most dutiful soldier on the best of days, to have him rushing around like that must’ve meant something had happened.

Erwin furrowed his brow as Flagon slowly straightened himself, chest still rapidly falling and rising. His eyes were wild and haggard, gaze darting between the three of them like a little hummingbird.

”… Flagon?”

At length, the man spoke, looking right at Erwin as he did. ”They took the South.”

Erwin could physically feel his heart skipping a beat, his entire body stopping and rebooting as the words processed in his mind.

”What?”

Flagon swallowed deeply, his eyes betraying a maelstrom of emotions warring in his soul. ”Marley, they… they’ve fully occupied the southern districts and are moving ahead to the East, we just got word from a messenger stationed nearby.”

As if slowly thawed from ice, Miche took a few aborted steps forward suddenly, grasping Flagon by the shoulder, shaking him. ”And the soldiers? The civilians?”

Flagon only shook his head, eyes downcast, unable to meet their gazes anymore.

”I’m sorry.”

Nanaba gasped, her hands covering her mouth in shock, eyes wide. ”How could this be? I have friends stationed in the East, is Marley now moving to take over Eldia altogether?”

Flagon shook his head. ”We don’t know, but supposedly there are no survivors from any of the southern districts, maybe civilians, but apparently they had orders to kill all soldiers still stationed there.”

”Erwin?”

”I—” he looked at Miche, mind darting this way and that like an arrowhead, unable to decide on a direction. At the mere mention of the eastern districts, of Marley possibly moving there next, Erwin’s thoughts immediately conjured Levi, thinking of him and Mikasa, who Erwin knew worked to evacuate people from the outer districts in the East of Eldia.

”I have to go see Levi,” he said, the words rushing out of him in a single breath, like a gust of wind.

As he moved to leave, it was Flagon that grabbed his arm, stopping him. ”What about the war council? They’re going to have an emergency meeting now, won’t you go there?”

Erwin’s head snapped towards the palace, him not having thought about any council meetings for even a second, his mind only rushing towards Levi in the manner of tides rushing towards the shore, relentless and inevitable.

At length he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ”Right, of course. I’ll go and report back what they’ll do.”

The others only nodded as they watched him go, silent and unsure. Before, the battle between Marley had not been fought on an open front, instead it had largely been singular attacks done on supply lines and other missions that were meant to sabotage or to gather intelligence. While Marley had had some southern districts like Trost and Shiganshina surrounded, they had not moved to occupy the area, only blocking supply and other aid from the area as well as restricting the flow of information.

But now the three soldiers knew, if Marley was finally moving to take over Eldia, to fully invade the outer districts, then the war would naturally escalate and they would likely be commanded to go to the front lines of battle. All three of them glanced at each other, silence falling between them, heavy and thick, as they watched Erwin go, a heavy weight on his shoulders, the hopes of all mankind within Eldia.

—

When Erwin arrived at the palace, he could clearly see that the news had reached them as well, people rushing about in a panicked state, officials and nobles all marching this way and that, yet despite the haste in their steps, an unsettling quietude had still settled inside the castle like a thick fog, hanging heavy in the air all around, making even breathing difficult.

Erwin didn’t pause to look around or to mill with the other people, he had a specific destination in mind instead, walking as fast as he could towards the council room without breaking into a run.

His brow was furrowed and gaze cold like ice, lips pulled thin as he walked, his overcoat billowing behind him, even strands of his blond hair were falling out of their usual neat style, settling over his eyes.

The guards outside of the council’s chambers opened the doors for him without needing to be asked, the other officials mostly already inside. The room was buzzing with chatter and noise, the meeting already in progress as Erwin arrived.

The king met his gaze as Erwin rushed in but said nothing at all, not even to greet him or to invite him to stand by his side as he usually did. As such, Erwin was content to catch his breath on the outskirts of the room, his tall stature making sure he could still easily see the table and the map spread out on it over everyone else’s heads.

”—we’ve lost considerable amounts of farmable land already, not to mention now with Marley controlling the southern districts, we will be unable to use the main roads leading in and out of Shiganshina, we’re going to need to come up with alternate trade routes if we’re wanting the inner districts to remain fed during winter—”

Listening to the officials talk, Erwin could already feel a headache building behind his closed eyelids and with a sigh he pinched the bridge of his nose to drive the slight pain away, his mind still throbbing as he opened his eyes once more to gaze at the map spread out on the table, the wooden markers there representing troops and battalions being pushed around by the military’s high command as they pondered about Marley’s invasion as if the biggest threat from it was that their wives wouldn’t be able to get fresh apples from the outer districts anymore.

Erwin already knew that his earliest predictions had come to fruition right before his eyes, that Marley had been planning on isolating Eldia not only from the other nations but also slowly from within, taking and taking from the outside, until only the inner districts would be left, slowly starving to death as the winter arrived.

He had tried his best to intervene in Marley’s plans, working with the military and organizing the diplomatic ball, even collaborating with Levi to collect intel from the southern and eastern districts, but Erwin still feared his efforts would not be enough to save Eldia.

Across the room, Erwin met the king’s steady gaze, wondering if now they had all suffered enough for the king to finally see reason.

As they looked at each other, a hush fell over the room, slowly everyone present turning their expectant gazes onto Erwin, making room for him to step closer to the table.

At length the king nodded to him, waving for him to start speaking.

”My lord,” Erwin began, ”I heard from members of the military that Marley has made a move to invade Eldia, beginning with the southern districts.”

”You have heard right, such a thing has indeed happened,” the military commander spoke, standing beside the king, but Erwin did not turn to face him, ”our scouts are telling us that they have made to move the battlefront from Trost to Karanes in the East.”

Erwin took a deep breath. ”Our shores and docks are stationed in the South, my lord I am concerned that our efforts to receive foreign aid will now be for nothing if Marley controls the southern districts. It may be impossible for us to reach our naval bases.”

The king nodded along to his words, though said nothing, letting Erwin continue. The man himself felt hopeful, despite his frantic haste earlier, he was feeling much more settled now, for the first time receiving the reception he had always hoped for before, seeing the king and the other officials seemingly listening to him did wonders to raise the hope and morale in Erwin.

”Securing access to these ports should be our top priority, along with making sure our earlier efforts in strengthening the western passages will hold if indeed the South is lost, along with that—”

”I think our best course of action would be to send troops to the southern districts and reclaim them.”

Erwin paused upon being interrupted so harshly, slowly turning his head towards the military commander who had spoken.

”… pardon?”

He was no longer paid much more mind however, as soon the other officials joined in on praising the commander’s suggestion, thinking it wise to reclaim an area that was all but completely lost to Marley.

”Smith, you’re still much too young to understand this, but the land in the South is precious, not to mention we cannot abandon the men stationed—”

”The men and women stationed in the South are dead!” Erwin leaned against the table, his eyes wild as he looked at the commander. ”The land there hardly will help us now, if we try to reclaim it Marley will surely burn it all before we’re even halfway there! This is madness!”

The commander chuckled, all but rolling his eyes at Erwin.

”We’ve seen how Marley operates, there’s no precedent—”

”There are no precedents in war! We must secure the ports in the South to ensure foreign aid can reach us! Unless my lords are planning to assassinate Zeke Yeager and end this war before winter reaches us, Eldia will need to rely on foreign aid!”

It felt like insanity to Erwin, their whispering voices, wicked gazes looking around, looking at him, hissing like snakes in the darkness of the room, shadows slithering on the walls and the windows shut to the outside world. Being there, Erwin always felt entirely isolated from the rest of Eldia, maybe the king preferred it so he could more easily turn a blind eye to the suffering of his people, if they all lived in some separate reality from himself.

Erwin felt like he was losing his mind however, his pulse quickening and heart racing, chest heaving as he stood there, looking down at the map, the markers there representing people he knew, people he had spoken to and seen not more than an hour ago.

These are real people, he thought, his mind haggard, thoughts laying about scattered, echoing around his mind all discordant and broken. Yet the lords here would see them sent to a fruitless battle to die needless deaths that would achieve nothing.

These sacrifices were nothing to the king, Erwin realized, he would see them all dead before he gave in, before he would even consider surrendering his stubborn pride.

As Erwin thought about it all, his mind dizzy and swimming in relentless currents, he could feel the king’s heavy gaze land on him, watching him, as if he was waiting for Erwin to figure it all out, only what he needed to see, Erwin did not know.

At length he looked up, leaning against the table still, his eyes meeting the king’s.

”Well, Erwin,” he began, his voice ringing with authority even still, despite his illness and age, all the other nobles falling silent as he spoke, ”have you thought about it enough?”

”Thought about what?” Erwin could not help but snarl, desperation etched into every line of his body.

The king’s smile was sharp like a cut of a knife, wicked. ”About whether or not you could finally convince the Ackermans—”

”That’s what this is about?” Erwin all but shouted, standing up straight, eyes wild. ”Even still you’re demanding that Levi give his life—”

”Doesn’t have to be your Levi, they have the other one there as well.”

Erwin knew they were talking about Mikasa and a sickening, nasty feeling settled in his belly as he recalled with such clarity how the foreign nobles had spoken about her, about how the king had likely said much worse to them behind closed doors.

”The Ackermans will not yield, I will not even ask them to,” Erwin said, hoping his tone would convey once and for all that such a matter should not be brought up again, that it needed to be laid to rest, finally.

The king all but rolled his eyes at him, scoffing. ”Then how are you proposing we win this war, if not with their skills?”

Erwin ran his hand through his hair, carding the blond strands with his fingers, frustrated and losing his temper fast, but with a few deep breaths he was able to reign himself back in, not wanting to lose his composure in front of all these people.

”We still have many ways to improve the efficacy of the military, I’ve presented his council before with news ideas for weaponry and also strategy, if my lords would just—”

The military commander laughed, holding his stomach. ”Since you know so much about warfare, Smith, why don’t you enlist in my ranks and see the battles for yourself!”

Erwin felt as though he was once more losing his mind, slowly glancing between the map and the cruel, cruel eyes of the king, and still somehow Erwin began to see how the puzzle pieces connected, finally, his mind drawing towards a conclusion that felt impossible in its madness and utter stupidity, but Erwin was stuck thinking about it nonetheless.

How stubbornly the king was refusing to act on Marley’s threat and in turn the pattern of Marley’s attacks that Erwin could see on the map before him as well as all of the king’s words were leading Erwin to think that it all really was about Levi. The war, everything, was about Levi and the other Ackermans. It felt as though Marley was purposefully trying to smoke out Levi, lure him out onto the battlefield just as Eldia itself was forcing Levi to act by making innocent eldians suffer, as if—

But still Erwin could not help but think why. Why would the king not just attack the Ackermans outright, if he wanted to be rid of them or to subjugate them, why would he go about it in such a convoluted way? If he feared Levi that badly, then surely prodding and poking him like this would yield even worse results.

And in turn, if Marley wished to lure Levi out, surely such a thing would be against their best interest. Why would they want someone of Levi’s skill fighting against them? Unless perhaps their intent was to turn Eldia against Levi by escalating the war and thus bringing attention to the fact that Levi had yet to bend the knee, that he could end the war if he so chose and had not done so. But even still… just what would Marley get out of this entire madness?

Erwin furrowed his brow as he thought about it all, about what Marley could possibly gain by this, if perhaps he was just overthinking it, his crazed and desperate mind making leaps and stretches of this magnitude simply to make it all seem sensible, to try and see logic where there was none.

In his mind Erwin chuckled, thinking that the king really had gotten into his head, making him so obsessed with Levi that he thought the entire world revolved around him somehow.

But if Erwin’s theory was true… just how far would these kings go, to see Levi yield?

—

The council meeting ended with Erwin not feeling any more hopeful about Eldia’s stance in the war, and with much more dread filling him than ever before.

As he walked outside, the winds blew past him, as if urging him on, telling him to go. And Erwin did, letting his feet guide him to Levi, where he longed to be at all times.

The people at the estate knew him quite well by then, greeting him warmly as he walked towards the infirmary, feeling loose and adrift like a leaf in the breeze without Levi having been at the gates to greet him like he often had been.

Erwin told himself Levi was simply busy, occupied with something else and it wasn’t like he had to be there to greet Erwin, even if he did seem to have an almost uncanny ability to know whenever Erwin had arrived to see him.

Before he knew it, Erwin had reached Hanji’s office, somberly knocking on the door and then stepping inside as the scientist hollered for him to enter.

He closed the door behind him, brow furrowed as he tried to take in what it was that Hanji seemed to be tinkering with this time.

”What are you doing?”

A crash could be heard, then a small puff of smoke erupting from the machinery before them as Hanji straightened up. ”Oh, this? To be quite honest with you my dear Erwin, I do not entirely know what this is myself.”

He chuckled, stepping closer. ”You know, I tried selling your ideas to the king, but he wasn’t very receptive to the idea of cooperation.”

Then it was Hanji’s turn to laugh, a loud little shriek of a sound as they turned to face Erwin. Their face was almost entirely covered in soot and dust, with traces of some unnameable black liquid dripping down their chin, smeared across their cheek. Their hair was haphazardly pulled up, this way and that, their glasses askew and clothes even more dirtied than their face.

”That doesn’t surprise me one bit!”

”Yes, I imagine it wouldn’t. He can be quite stubborn.”

Another chuckle. ”Stubborn? Well, that’s one way to put it! Hates us all, that old bastard.”

They stepped away from the machine, shoving their hands in the pockets of their coat, a wicked grin on their lips. ”Tell me Erwin, is he any closer to kicking the bucket at all?”

Erwin shot Hanji a look, saying nothing, the other only laughing at his reaction, knowing he didn’t like to joke about such things, even if he held no love for the king in the slightest.

”Anyway,” he began again, ”is Levi here somewhere? I was hoping to speak with him.”

Hanji gave him an odd look from over the rim of their glasses, one that Erwin couldn’t entirely decipher. ”Whenever he’s feeling… out of sorts, he goes to the stables.”

”… thank you,” Erwin said, brow furrowed in confusion. Was Levi feeling out of sorts? If he was, was something the matter with him? Was he ill, had something bad happened? Such thoughts plagued Erwin as he made his way back outside, his eyes downcast as he went, looking at his own two feet and the ground, absentmindedly kicking a pebble here and there just to hear them clatter against the cobblestone paths he and Levi had previously laid down.

He hadn’t ever been to the stables before but Erwin could easily recognize the building as it stood in the distance and began to make his way towards it, mind still stuck on Hanji’s comment.

Though Erwin could not in the end come up with a reason for Levi to be upset unless something had happened to him that Erwin didn’t know about, or else he might’ve been upset because of the ongoing situation in Eldia. Before he could think much more about it, his thoughts were interrupted.

”Mr Smith?”

Upon being addressed, Erwin turned around only to see Mikasa walking towards him, a serious look to her that Erwin had come to realize seemed to be a feature shared between her and Levi.

”Mikasa, is everything alright?”

She brushed him off, falling into step beside him. ”Everything is fine,” she said before giving him an appraising look, ”are you looking for uncle Levi as well?”

”Yes, Hanji said he was at the stables.”

She nodded, saying nothing else.

Erwin hadn’t paid as much mind to her looks before, but with them walking side by side, he couldn’t help but notice that she was noticeably taller than Levi, even though the shade of her short hair was the same ashy raven black as his, along with her sterling silver eyes. Also from what Erwin had seen, Levi didn’t appear to have any scars or marks on him at all, but up close like this he could see that Mikasa had a clean cut scar on her right cheek, just below her eye. Despite this, they still clearly looked similar to each other, even though Erwin in reality had no clear knowledge of how closely they were related at all.

Erwin could easily understand why his father had been so interested in the Ackerman clan, previously a large family of several interwoven bloodlines, people with great physical abilities and it had even been rumoured before that they possessed other such fantastical qualities as well, having better health and longer lives than most other eldians. Not to mention their fierce sense of loyalty and otherworldly instincts that had always kept them in an entirely different league than the other clans of Eldia.

Being a curious soul like his father, Erwin couldn’t help the desire in him to find out more about the Ackermans, desperate to find the research his father had done into the clan, the notebook containing such information likely being the only comprehensive study done about the clan, as the palace had always worked to suppress any such knowledge from being passed around.

As such, the Ackermans had always been shrouded in mystery and even now as Erwin subtly glanced at Mikasa, he couldn’t help but wonder about the culling that had happened some 100 years ago, if there was more to the incident than what they had all been told.

Once the two of them reached the stables, Erwin saw Levi there, over his shoulders draped the colors of the Ackerman clan, a deep and rich green like the forest that surrounded the estate, like the ivy that ran over the brick walls of Erwin’s childhood home, like the moss covering the stones by the lake where his father had taught him to swim, green like the color eyes his mother had in the pictures they had of her.

He somehow looked even more beautiful than Erwin remembered, completely in his element like this, surrounded by nature and animals, quietly working with a furrow between his brows that never seemed to fully go away, his thin lips downturned in a way that seemed to be completely natural to him, something that Erwin had mistaken for dislike when he had first met Levi.

However he couldn’t get a single word out of his mouth before Mikasa turned to him, stopping him in his tracks. ”I’ll go and speak to uncle Levi alone first.”

Erwin nodded silently, watching as Mikasa went inside with Levi following close behind, not turning to see Erwin looking at him. Distantly he could hear Levi’s deep voice as he greeted her, something settling inside of him as the sound of him enveloped him like a warm mist, embracing him gently. He found himself swaying on his feet, leaning forward, craning his neck to hear Levi better, as if he craved it, as if he couldn’t ever have enough of him.

”—saw them in Karanes, though I can’t be sure.” It was Mikasa who had spoken, the clear cadence of her voice carrying over to him.

Erwin furrowed his brow, leaning even closer still. He didn’t want to think he was eavesdropping, but he also couldn’t help but want to know what the two were talking about. Who had they seen in Karanes, could it possibly be related to Marley? Erwin could recall from the council meeting and from what Flagon had said that the war front had moved from the southern districts toward Karanes, where Levi and Mikasa had worked to evacuate civilians.

As Erwin thought about it, he could even remember Mikasa and Levi talking about it before, him asking her if she had seen anyone from high command. Could it be that that was what she had told Levi now, that she had spotted them in the eastern districts? And if so—

It was Levi’s voice that shook Erwin out of his thoughts, cutting them all short, his entire soul wide awake at the sound of him.

”—go there anymore. I’ll go instead.”

After that the pair of them stepped outside, Mikasa walking off without stopping to say anything at all to Erwin, while Levi hung back, avoiding his gaze.

”Blondie,” he greeted, eyes drifting this way and that.

”Levi,” Erwin breathed out, taking a few steps toward him immediately, as if drawn in, like a planet falling into orbit. ”What did you talk about?”

Levi shook his head. ”It’s nothing important. Just that Mikasa shouldn’t go to the eastern districts anymore.”

Erwin stepped closer again, closing the distance between them. ”Is it because Marley’s high command is there?”

Levi looked up at him, though couldn’t even feign surprise that Erwin had heard him and Mikasa speak. And it was hardly a secret in any case, that they had been avoiding them, operating around them.

As such, Levi only shrugged in the end, looking away and crossing his arms across his chest. ”Yeah, I don’t want her anywhere near the army, ours or theirs.”

Erwin nodded. ”If they’re there, it could be a great opportunity to hasten the end of the war by targeting them,” as he spoke Levi looked up at him again, eyes wide and lips parted, ”we have to end the war before winter if we want to save the eldians living in the outer districts.”

Levi said nothing, stuck looking up at him as if he was utterly enchanted, drunk on Erwin’s mere presence, as if he had missed him like this, too.

”I ought to go there,” Erwin mumbled, eyes downcast, much more grey in his gaze than blue, as if the skies of his very soul were overcast.

”What the hell are you saying?” Levi couldn’t help but demand, snapping out of his earlier trance and stepping closer, brows furrowed and body furious.

Erwin looked at him, but he seemed lost, not at all sure as he had been before.

”I should go, enlist and join Miche and the others on the battlefield. I need to—”

”You need to shut the fuck up.” Levi grabbed Erwin’s lapels in his tightly clenched fists, shaking him. ”You cannot be this stupid, this reckless, blondie! You need to stay here where there’s actual use for you!”

Erwin shook his head. ”But there’s not any use for me here, not anymore, they won’t— they’re not listening to me here, I’m so useless now and Marley is gaining ground by the day it’s—”

Levi grabbed him tighter, all but snarling with his teeth bared, his entire face twisted in desperate anger, for a tense moment they only looked at each other, never having been so close before.

Erwin felt lost in the face of everything that was happening, but Levi only felt lost because of what Erwin was saying.

”Levi, I—”

”I forbid you from going.”

Erwin blinked, stupefied. ”What?”

Levi seemed to briefly snap out of his anger, letting Erwin go, pushing him away gently with his hands lingering on Erwin’s chest as he did, then slowly falling back to his sides, limp and useless. He looked away and down, his demeanor suddenly much smaller than before.

”Don’t go, Erwin.”

Erwin was helpless to do anything but look down at Levi, seeing him vulnerable like this for the first time, even the sound of his name falling from his lips felt like a tender touch to his soul, a balm, something soft and sweet.

Levi wasn’t looking at him, as if he couldn’t bear to see Erwin seeing him right then, the desperation overflowing from his eyes in torrents, a pathetic plea from his very soul to see Erwin safe, to have him safe no matter what.

”Stay here, because you are still needed here,” he said instead of what he wanted to say, which was I need you to stay here. Levi steadied himself, ”you’re a king, Erwin, not a warrior.”

Erwin sighed, running his hand through his hair, messing it up and a strand of gold fell over his eyes and Levi fixated on it, his fingers itching to reach out and brush it away.

”But I’m not a king, Levi, not even an heir officially and I’m not sure anymore if that’s what I want to be, what I ought to be.”

He was so, so lost and it pained Levi to see it. He wanted nothing more than to guide Erwin as he had guided Levi these past weeks, leading him despite him not even realizing it. But Levi was lost too, taken by the currents of the world, torn apart in the riptides of politics he had never been good at to begin with.

”I don’t know what more I could do to help, Levi, I feel like I’ve given everything I have except for my life.”

It ached Levi to hear Erwin talking like that, as if he owed any one of these fools a single goddamn thing. The world was selfish and it would break him, splinter his bones and wash away his remains, grind him down to nothing at all. To the world Erwin was nothing but another tool to be used, but to Levi he was… to Levi—

Briefly Levi glanced away from Erwin, his cheeks burning and eyes wanting to clench shut and disappear him from the world, even the mere thoughts of his own feelings were causing such distress in him. But no matter how much Levi was willing to shield himself from the truth of his devotion, it was still just that; devotion and slowly, love.

And this was how Levi had always loved; quietly, desperately, too painfully to be called by any other name. Like two open wounds, his eyes were wide as they looked up at Erwin.

Levi could see the guilt in Erwin’s eyes as they stood close to each other like this, the shame twisting his features, his will to do more, to do everything he possibly could.

The air was silent between them, heavy as the words they had said lingered between them and for a brief moment Levi wished he could tell Erwin about the world from his point of view, the darkness and cruelty of it, to rid him of his will to save it so desperately. But Erwin wouldn’t change, Levi knew it for certain, there was no saving him from this, from his own will and stubbornness, his good nature.

Though just to keep Erwin safe Levi knew he’d do anything, become anything at all if Erwin asked it of him. The grief Levi felt being bound to a hero, in love with a hero, whom they all already knew would be the ruler of Eldia any day now, a king, was enormous and unbearable, yet there was no choice for Levi but to bear it all the same.

Levi felt so vulnerable as he thought about it, the things he would do for Erwin. And despite what he had promised his uncle, Levi knew he’d bend the knee to Erwin immediately, without even needing to be asked.

His mouth parted around the words, eyes flicking back up to meet Erwin’s gaze, something settling once again in Levi as he did, his soul buzzing inside of his body as he stepped closer, determined now.

”Erwin,—”

—

It was some days after their conversation, when Erwin was again summoned to the palace.

The way was dark, it was raining outside and the sound of it clattered against the castle’s rooftops as Erwin was ushered inside by the guards, little drip drip drips echoing all around as the servants were leading him towards the king’s bedchambers. It was this that clued Erwin in to the nature of his visit, the king meeting him in such an informal manner instead of properly receiving him in the hall or even any of the tearooms or glass terraces like he normally would.

He was shivering all over, though he wasn’t cold, merely anticipatory. He had hoped for and dreaded this coming conversation in equal measures, in the moment he couldn’t pinpoint which emotion was winning over the other.

The winds howled outside, as if impatient as well, rustling trees and rattling walls, pushing its way in through the cracks in the old walls. No one spoke as Erwin was led through the winding hallways and deep into the castle’s heart, all sounds of the outside world disappearing the further in they went, until it felt as though he was cut out from the rest of the world entirely, as if nothing else existed at all but him and the king.

The final wooden doors he was led through were much smaller, still decorated with gold and his arrival was announced by the guards stationed there as if he was being officially received, as if it was any regular day at the palace.

The doors shut behind him, some feeling of finality settling into Erwin, something that felt a great deal like dread indeed.

With a sigh he stepped closer to the bed where the king lay, looking much more sickly than before, his skin ashen and waxy, stretching over his bones as if there was nothing at all left underneath. He looked like a mere husk of a person, his coughs deep and rattling through him much like the wind was rustling the rooftops above, even if Erwin could no longer hear its howls.

”My lord,” he greeted, walking towards the king and sitting down in a chair beside his bed as the other nodded towards it, inviting him closer.

”Erwin, my boy, I’m sure you know already why I have summoned you here,” the king began, his voice weak and barely above a whisper, ”I know Marie at least has told you of my intentions to name you as an heir. I know I’ve mentioned this to you as well, I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone else either.”

Erwin nodded along to his words, not sure what to say but it seemed the king wasn’t expecting an answer from him either as he simply carried on, coughing a bit in between his words.

”But I will not name you without making clear my expectations for you, Erwin.”

He looked down at the king, brow furrowing. ”Expectations?”

A cough, then the king nodded as he settled down once again. ”Yes, expectations. I have my conditions for naming you as my heir.”

”Conditions,” Erwin repeated, deadpan, ”you have conditions for me despite me not even having accepted this position, nor having ever truly indicated that I even want it in the first place.”

Another deep cough shuddered through the king, his entire body convulsing on the bed. Then he looked up at Erwin, his eyes sunken and cheeks hollow. There was a drip of blood on his chin.

”You forget, Erwin, that you are still nothing,” he said, voice raspy and deep, ”you only have what little power I have given you and when I die you will be left with no power at all.”

Erwin only looked at him, not able to say a single thing to dispute him. The truth of the king’s words was settling into his belly, weighing him down, heavy and nasty. It would be beneficial, for him to be king. He’d no longer have to deal with such an uppity council, he could rule Eldia as he saw fit, make the changes that he believed in. He could end the war, if he was a king.

But just as well if he accepted such a power, then he’d be chained to the throne for the rest of his life. He’d never be able to sail the world like a ship, as he had once described to Levi and even the mere thought of the other man caused immediate turmoil within him, a sudden and overwhelming desire to be with him coming over Erwin, wanting to see Levi, to hear his voice. Something in the other man always managed to calm Erwin, soothe him even, allow him to think clearly. He longed for that clarity now.

The king coughed, his entire body rattling as he did. ”I could still name anyone else to be my heir, I don’t think you even realize how many prospective candidates I have for this job.”

He straightened himself again, wiping his chin on a handkerchief. ”Any one of them would be glad for the honor and not only that—” another rattling cough interrupted him, ”—not only that, but they’d be much more willing to do as I say, much more willing than you.”

The king gave him a scathing look. ”Much more willing, and far less curious.”

Erwin clenched his jaw. ”Then why me? Why do you insist now, to dangle all of this in front of me, as if I want to be a king in the first place? Name someone else then, and free us both of each other.”

At that, the king smirked. ”You should fight harder for this job, Erwin. And realize quicker what it is that you’re actually pawning off with your stubborn refusal.”

The king leaned back his head, his fluffed pillow hiding parts of his face but his eyes were still clear despite the illness eating him alive. Erwin met his gaze steadily, beat for beat, his own blue eyes flickering with a myriad of thoughts as they passed through his mind.

As they looked at each other, it wasn’t hard for Erwin to realize what the king meant. After all, in good and bad, the memory of the recent diplomatic ball was still fresh in Erwin’s mind. The way people had looked at Levi, talked of him but never to him. The way people had seen them together, looked at them interacting like it was a spectacle. The things they had said about him, what it all meant in the grand scheme of things.

So even then, lying on his sickbed, what the king meant, what he was still talking about, was Levi. Somehow everything came back to him, back to the Ackermans. And the king had said as much before as well, that Erwin needed to realize how exactly the Ackermans made the whole of Eldia go round and round and round.

Erwin's lips parted around a silent gasp as he fully understood what the king was implying. That he knew Erwin didn’t desire to be king, he knew Erwin might not accept the job if it was only about Eldia because he could always do something else, help in other ways. He could be a strategist, an advisor to another king. That Erwin could protect Eldia without the heavy crown on his head but… he could not protect Levi.

To keep Levi safe, Erwin needed to become king, for if someone else had that power, even if they could never force Levi to kneel they could still… inflict upon him what those nobles had talked about, they could even begin another culling of the entire clan. They could go after Levi and Mikasa and everyone else on those lands and kill them or worse.

The king and Erwin looked at each other and Erwin could not help but think of his father. A man who had also been tangled in with the Ackerman clan, who had lost his life because of what he’d found out and for some reason, in the heavy quietude of the king’s bedchambers, the air stale and oppressive, Erwin couldn’t help but see him there, sitting on Uri Reiss’ bedside, perhaps a very similar truth being presented to him as well.

Erwin had never considered it before, but his father having been very close to Uri Reiss could very well mean that he had also been considered an heir to the throne but because of the choices he had made, he had been assassinated instead.

And the king had tried to tell him so many times, Erwin now knew. About him being so much like his father, about their shared sympathy for the Ackermans. He had told Erwin to kill his affection for them but Erwin, like his father, had been unable to do so.

Now there he was, looking the king in the eye, knowing his affection for Levi was being used against him, had been used against him, in so many ways.

”Do you see it now, Erwin?” the king asked him, voice fading out, ”you are in no position to say no to my request, not if you want to keep your little pet safe from the greedy hands of the world.”

Erwin’s mind was still stuck on his previous conversation with Levi, the words they had said now hitting him like cold waves, one after the other, cruel and unforgiving.

He could say nothing in response to the king, his face pale and ashen, lips pulled into a thin line.

The king coughed again, sickly and bone-rattling. ”I have another condition of course, to me naming you as my heir.”

He turned his head, looking up at Erwin with what could only be described as a smirk pulling on his lips. ”Though, I suppose you have already figured out what it will be.”

Through gritted teeth, Erwin spoke. ”Name it.”

The king smiled even wider.

—

It was still raining as Erwin left the palace, feeling hollowed out and empty, yet all of his thoughts were only circling around Levi, never mind the fact that he was now officially the heir to the throne of Eldia. But all his mind could conjure was an endless loop of Levi, Levi, Levi, it felt as though it was thundering in his very soul, as if something had been carved out of him entirely, replaced with something else, something even further knocked loose.

Standing there, Erwin felt as though something awful had happened, yet he could not point his finger on what. He could only hope it was not this very decision that had doomed him.

And not for the first time that evening, Erwin felt even more saddened by the fact that his father had been taken from him, that he was not there to guide Erwin. Due to his previous relationship to the king, Erwin knew his father would have had valuable advice for him, would know what to say and do, would be able to tell him, if him becoming the king was the right decision at all.

Erwin had agreed to it not only to save Eldia, knowing he has what it takes to end the war, but also to save Levi, to make it so that no Ackerman would have to bend the knee to an ungrateful king ever again, would never have to serve those who would deem them lesser.

And so, Erwin had made a binding vow with the king, promising to be his next heir, had tied himself to the throne and there’d be no undoing it. Of course, such a vow was no magical thing but it had left its claw marks in Eldia’s history, a deep belief instilled in the nation and its people that if one undid such a vow, only doom would follow.

Erwin had scarcely made his way down further than a few steps when he was barely able to make out a figure in the distance, rushing towards him, their figure hazy and blurry due to the dark skies and relentless downpour, Erwin squinting and shielding his eyes from the rain as his coat billowed behind him in the wind.

”—win!” He could scarcely make out this person calling his name, the sound of it awfully familiar. He took a few steps closer, descending the now slippery stone stairs of the palace, craning his neck to see better.

”Hanji?”

Suddenly the inventor themself was in front of him, crouched down and heaving from exhaustion, Erwin madly entertaining the notion that they had perhaps run all the way from the Ackerman estate to the castle.

”Er… win…”

”Has something happened?”

The inventor waved him off, at length straightening up, hair plastered to their forehead from the water, clothes utterly soaked through and dripping, their glasses askew and fogged up.

”Erwin, it’s—”, they heaved, sounding laboured as if they were about to keel over completely. Erwin reached out and grabbed them by their arms to steady them, afraid they were about to faint from the exhaustion.

”It’s Levi,” they finally managed, their expression hidden by their fogged up glasses and the overcast skies, ”he’s gone.”

Suddenly the awful feeling from before was rising again within Erwin, as if thorny brambles were twisting inside of him, wrapping themselves around his ribs, slithering up his throat and down in his belly, taking ahold of his very heart as it thumped in his chest.

”… what?”

”He’s gone, they’ve taken him. Marley, they took him from Karanes.”

”What do you mean ’taken’? How could they simply take him, he’s Levi Ackerman for crying out loud!”

At that, even Hanji laughed, a broken and miserable sound, akin to a wheeze from a dying animal. ”I don’t know! We only just got word, I rushed here as soon as Mikasa told me, I don’t know Erwin, I truly don’t know.”

He’s gone.

They took him.

The words were echoing around Erwin’s mind, settling in his throat like a stone, a sickening feeling spreading through him.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, he thought, crazed and out of his mind, his very soul rattling around inside of him, as if it was thrashing against the confines of his body, begging to be set loose, to be allowed to go where Levi was.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Erwin was helpless to think about anything else.

He’s gone.

They took him.

—

Chapter Text

Somehow, to Erwin, losing Levi felt as though the world was ending.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, this isn’t what was supposed to happen, Erwin thought, fraught and desperate.

Levi’s name was carved into Erwin’s longing, bleeding and bruised, in the spaces between every single passing second he was helpless to do anything but think of him.

Oh, but this is how it is, the universe would sneer back at him, smirking. You did this, you’re going to have to live with this.

Erwin was still at the castle with the thunder and storm still raging, rain ravaging the roofs and the trees outside, soaking up everything in the ground. Everything in the world was grieving, it felt like, but the world’s sadness couldn’t ever begin to match Erwin’s, couldn’t ever even hope to match it.

There was no trace of Levi in the castle however, and Erwin was stumbling through the halls, crazed and dizzy, trying to make his way back outside so he might go to the Ackerman estate where things would look like Levi, smell like him, where there would be other people who knew him, the only place where Erwin could even conceive of finding any sort of peace from being haunted by Levi.

”Levi…”

But even as Erwin spoke his name, as if to will Levi into existence, to prove to himself that he had been real, had existed, the universe would only shrug and point up at the sky where no stars or sun were visible anymore, only clouds full of rain and rage both, as if Levi was missing from the world completely and not only from Erwin’s.

It pained Erwin to think about, it ached in his bones, sat heavy in his stomach, rose up his throat like bile. He could feel Levi’s absence everywhere, in the air, the tiles under his feet, in the fabrics that clung to his body and in the pauses between each of his heartbeats. It was profound, as if it had rippled through all that existed, as if the very universe was disturbed by the loss of him.

And Erwin could not stand it, the thought of Levi in someone else’s possession, in Marley, being looked at and talked to without him there, the mere idea of someone else’s hands on what Erwin had come to consider his, touching with their hands what Erwin could recall beneath his own touch as easy as anything, eyes roving over the form of Levi… it was driving him utterly mad beyond comprehension, his heartbeat quickening and breathing growing erratic.

He couldn’t even find it in himself to be surprised at the possessiveness of his own thoughts, after all he had felt the embers of it all before, though what had only been kindling in his soul then was now akin to a roaring forest fire, something devastating.

Erwin felt as though there was a great weight on his chest, sitting there like a stone, or filling his lungs like some awful liquid until there was no space for air anymore at all, until it all was coming back up, spilling past his lips, mixed with blood. Erwin couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he felt utterly numb and insane, his head pounding and vision swimming.

Erwin had never known anything like it, this ache, this longing, it lived inside of him now like a physical pain, echoing around the very marrow of his bones, filling his mind at all times, slithering inside of his gut and belly like it was making a home inside of him, it was something new to him entirely, something foreign. He had never missed anyone quite like this, never with such depravity, such desperation. He had never before been able to feel the sensation of it inside of him, or the absence of another person beside him.

And before, Erwin had always considered himself to be a very calm person, able to keep his cool even in the most hectic of situations, the quietude in his mind was a skill he had cultivated with blood, yet it had all been undone by Levi, as if he had bewitched Erwin, beguiled him somehow.

And now Erwin could feel every inch of space that separated them from each other, the distance between them like a living thing, pulling and pushing them apart and then closer together like tides controlled by the moon, Erwin could feel it all around him, pressure that was digging into his flesh and muscle, as if he was all tied up by Levi’s absence, his hands and legs, feet and even his throat were all entangled like a prey animal caught in a hunter’s snare, dangling in the air, or else some poor criminal being pulled apart limb from limb.

Worst of all was still the knowledge, or lack thereof, of what was happening to Levi, what was being done to him, if he was hurt terribly or perhaps dead altogether. Erwin could even remember the things the foreign nobles had talked about during the diplomatic ball and the mere memory of it was enough to have him bending over from the sudden onslaught of nausea, mind swimming from the burning heat of the anger coursing through him.

In that moment Erwin would’ve given anything at all just to see Levi, so badly did he long for his face, his voice, his gestures, his cursing and the way scoffed and rolled his eyes, his hidden tenderness and the way his black hair fell over his eyes whenever he looked up at Erwin, his eyes always so clear like the skies after a storm.

And so vividly he could recall the last time they had seen each other that if he so much as closed his eyes he was sure he could conjure Levi in his mind easier than anything, Erwin’s entire being overwhelmed with such profound affection but also guilt, blaming himself for why Levi had been taken at all.

After an unknowable amount of time, perhaps only a few minutes even if it felt like an entire millenia to Erwin, he made his way back towards the palace doors, though could not so much as reach out to pull them open before someone else was slamming against them, pushing their way inside.

Erwin’s mind was still reeling, vision blurry and skin heated yet his gaze focused on the person stomping towards him, screaming and shouting.

”Is—Isabel…?” Erwin tried, his mind hazy.

”You fucking COWARD!”

Someone else was rushing in right after her, calling her name, but no sooner than after they had made it inside was Isabel already on Erwin, scratching and hissing like an alley cat, pulling at his lapels, shaking him with all of her might.

”What did you do!?”

”Isabel—” the other person, Furlan, Erwin’s mind suggested, was pulling her off of Erwin, the latter still too drunk on his longing to resist her rage at all.

”Let him go—” Furlan tried again, holding Isabel’s arms between her back and his chest, the girl thrashing against him with all that she had.

”You let me go!” Isabel shouted, working against his hold, ”it’s his fault! It’s his fucking fault that they took Levi!”

Her words were like cold water to Erwin’s hazy mind, sobering him up instantly, his head clearing and eyes regaining the ability to focus once more.

”What?” His voice was raspy and he was taking tentative steps towards the two of them, as if by talking about Levi they had summoned back Erwin’s rational mind.

She scoffed at him, rolling her eyes and it reminded Erwin so viscerally of Levi it felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach, leaving him winded and his belly cramping.

”You don’t even know,” she said, shaking her head. Erwin could clearly see she was an absolute spitfire, clearly raised by Levi, taking no shit at all. ”YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW!” She was yelling, fighting against the grip Furlan had on her, trying his best to hold her back.

”… Know what?” Erwin couldn’t help but try to ask, brow furrowing.

Isabel scoffed, laughing, but there was no amusement in her voice. Instead it was cold and dead, hollow like trees in winter. ”Everyone says you’re so smart and yet you haven’t figured it out!? They’re—”

”Isabel, stop it,” Furlan warned her, his eyes much deeper than before, holding in them something dark.

”What? Don’t tell me you’re taking his side!”

Furlan twisted her in his hold so he could face her directly, looking right into her eyes. ”I’m taking Levi’s side, and you need to as well, Izzy,” he began, talking slow and quiet, Erwin needing to strain to even hear what he said, ”he made you promise not to talk about it, remember?”

”… I remember.”

”So don’t talk about it. Calm down, and let’s go back home.”

She settled down after that, most of the fight going out of her at the reminder of this promise that she and Furlan had apparently made with Levi, the knowledge of which intrigued Erwin greatly, but still she had enough fire left to shoot Erwin one last scathing look over her shoulder.

”He would’ve never done this to you,” Isabel snarled, eyes sharp and her teeth showing.

Before Erwin could get another word out, confusion still lingering everywhere around him, the two of them walked off, back into the thundering night.

Erwin had half the mind to think he had imagined the whole conversation from the start, that they had never been there to begin with, but this thought was proven false the following day when Erwin had let his feet guide him to the Ackerman estate, his very soul and the essence that formed him pulling and pushing him relentlessly.

Isabel was there to all but chase him off, already opening her mouth to let out more curse words and more shouting, yet she was stopped once more by Furlan, who laid a steady hand on her shoulder.

”Let him come,” he said, sighing.

With his mind slightly cleared, Erwin took the time to observe Furlan, the weary look to him, and something painful in his eyes, hiding just below the surface. He scarcely met Erwin’s gaze at all, but in the brief moments that he did, Erwin could see something in him, the same pain that was mirrored in his own soul, the pain of losing someone dear, someone fundamental.

At length Furlan looked up at him as Isabel stomped away, pushing past his shoulder, making him fumble on his two feet.

”Thank you,” Erwin said, not sure what for.

But Furlan seemed to understand him anyway, nodding and crossing his arms across his chest. After a moment more of them simply looking at each other, he sighed, briefly looking elsewhere.

”It’s not your fault,” he said.

Erwin said nothing, could say nothing, only nodded to show he was listening, that he understood.

What Erwin didn’t know however, was how filled the silence between them was now with Furlan pondering, reflecting on the alternatives, the could-have-beens, the paths that, if taken, might’ve led them elsewhere. He knew he loved Levi, knew Levi cared for him in turn even if his affections were not returned in full. And though it hurt looking at the man Levi had chosen, what hurt Furlan more was knowing that if Levi had chosen otherwise, then he’d still be by Furlan’s side, safe and sound.

He sighed, turning away to leave without another word, leaving Erwin to his own devices. Watching the two of them, what Levi was willing to do for that man had left Furlan believing maybe love like that would always cause more damage than good, maybe it would always leave the sky cracked open and spilling down, ruining the horizon.

—

Erwin could scarcely think beyond how much he missed Levi. It made no sense to him, no logic at all to be found in the depth of his feelings, how deeply, how unfathomably he missed Levi, how senselessly, how terribly. It almost terrified Erwin, how badly he ached, how awfully he craved. It was anguish, how much Erwin wanted to see Levi, to have him for himself only.

It felt as though his very heart was crying, his yearning was reaching out towards Levi as if had hands, fingers wrapped around Erwin’s throat, killing him for losing Levi. His own body acted as if it detested his soul, as if it couldn’t stand Erwin there without Levi.

And Erwin could not understand it, for the amount of time he had known Levi was not at all that large, yet suddenly he couldn’t breathe without him near. It was magnetic, it was utterly inexplicable, how Levi moved him, how deeply, how fundamentally he had altered Erwin.

Even then as he sat down for a break in his father’s library, surrounded by dust dancing in the air, sunlight filtering in through the old windows, and when he opened his eyes with a sigh, he was sure he could see Levi right in front of him, his dark hair and sour expression, silver eyes shining in the dimness of the room.

”Erwin?” he said, stepping closer, reaching out with his gentle yet sure hand, fingers calloused from years of hard work, scarred from countless fights, his muscled and toned arms that were always littered with those small scars, too small to be from weapons, but Erwin had never asked.

A near inaudible gasp escaped Erwin, his lips parted as his arms reached out, winding themselves around Levi’s waist, pulling him close, his nose nuzzling his belly, breathing him in deeply, mouth open and eyes closing once more in utter bliss as the scent of Levi enveloped him, engulfing him and filling him in all the crevices of his body that craved him, that missed him.

He always smelled clean, like soap but also a little like dust from being outside so much, like sun, like rain, something cold like the north wind, and just simply like Levi, never sweaty or dirty but there was an earthy musk to him, like boy, like man. Something that always had Erwin’s belly twisting and his toes curling inside his shoes, even now it had a groan escaping his lips as he pulled Levi closer to him still, craving his presence, wanting him near like this.

Levi huffed but went easily, letting Erwin pull him onto his lap, his strong thighs bracketing him as he sat down, arms winding around Erwin’s neck.

”Hi blondie, did ’ya miss me that badly?”

Erwin tightened his hold on him, Levi’s back arching. ”Yes.”

Another huff, but then Levi settled as well, lowering to press his cheek against the top of Erwin’s head, his mouth full of his hair but he didn’t mind, only breathed him in as well, the scent of old books and wet ink, like the flowers in the garden and the tea that Levi had given him.

”Why did you leave me, Levi?”

Levi only blinked at him, at the suddenness of his question. ”What?”

The fragile dream flickered around them, but Erwin chose not to notice, clinging instead to the fragments of memory before him.

Levi laughed, that deep velvety voice of his so soft, dripping golden like honey. ”Look at me blondie, I’m right here,” he said, ”how can I be gone?”

A maniacal little sound escaped Erwin without his say-so, his eyes wide as he looked up at Levi. ”How can you be gone?” he repeated, voice breathy and panicked, his mind trying to catch up and grapple with the idea as it was presented to him. How can you be gone?

”Erwin?” He could hear again, only this time it was not Levi talking, was not his voice.

Reality dawned on him then, pulling him back slowly and at length Erwin opened his eyes, lifting away the book that was splayed open on his face, peering from underneath it to see Nile standing in the doorway to his father’s study, looking around in thinly veiled disgust.

As he spoke, his eyes landed on Erwin, his lips scowling and arms crossed across his chest. ”It’s fucking dusty in here.”

Erwin sighed, sitting up straight where he had been splayed across his father’s work chair before, putting away the book he’d been all but hiding under.

”Yeah, sorry about that.”

Nile said nothing more for a while, anxiously shifting his weight from one foot to another, feet shuffling on the old wooden floors.

”Were you sleeping?”

Erwin leaned forward, arms on his thighs with his head hung low, some strands of blond hair falling into his eyes as he glanced up at his friend. ”Yeah, suppose I was. I was having a pretty nice dream too, so you’d better have a good reason for waking me up, Nile.”

The other man grimaced, no doubt picturing something lewd, but made no comment on it in the end.

”Erwin, uh…” he began, eyes shifting this way and that, flitting about anxiously, his whole body pulled taut like a wire, shadows under his eyes from restless nights and a pale look to his even more gaunt face, betraying how he was doing these days. His hair was messier than normal, clothes rumpled and a little askew as if he hadn’t taken care to dress himself properly.

Erwin stood up slowly, careful to not spook his friend who had a panicked look about him like a prey animal caught in a hunter’s rifle.

”Erwin, I’m—” Nile began again, voice breaking. Erwin had never seen him like this, haggard and broken, instead Nile had always been a very proud man, almost unyielding.

But the look in his eyes right then was quite something else, something much sadder and so utterly human, it ached Erwin to see it.

”I’m begging you, Erwin, they’re—”

He ran his hands through his hair, eyes wild as his gaze flitted around the room. ”They’re all that I have! The king already has so many martyrs, I just… he could spare them, Erwin, let them escape this stupid demise, he could— he could let them live, Erwin!”

”I know, Nile, I know,” Erwin took a step closer to him, bridging some of the distance between them. They had been so close once, the two of them, now age and duty both had cleaved out a chasm between them, but for the first time Erwin was seeing his own handprint in it all, how he had hurt Nile when he had left Eldia, how he had abandoned him to the whims of the king, left him to be torn apart by the covenant forged by his parents.

”I’m sorry, there isn’t much more I can do,” he said, laying a calming hand to Nile’s shoulder, gripping him as if to steady him, ”but I’m going to the palace later today anyway, I can try and talk to him again, but I truly cannot promise you anything.”

Nile nodded, eyes downcast, his entire face twisted from sadness and fear. ”… I understand. Thank you, Erwin.” Even his voice was so small, barely above a whisper and it tore Erwin apart. He knew he’d give anything at all, to free his friend of this torment. And more clearly than ever before did Erwin relate to the anger that Levi had felt all his life, the selfish cruelty of the kings the reason Levi no longer had an uncle after all, and the violent cycle had gone on for so long now it felt impossible for Erwin to see any other end to it, except for stopping the cycle that was to come after this one.

In that, Erwin was resolute; he’d never be the cause for someone to needlessly lose their parent or any family member. He’d never condone such senseless loss and sacrifice, not for anything. When he’d become king, it would stop with him, that much Erwin could say for certain.

It was madness to Erwin, passing such violence down from parent to child, the chain of it neverending. He pondered about it as he made his way towards the castle some hours later, the king wanting to meet him more and more often these days.

After all Erwin was now known as the heir to the crown, it had been announced after he had accepted the position, after Levi had disappeared. There had been no fanfare to it, merely an announcement made to nobles and the clan heads and any other important officials then a short written piece that was sent out to the common people, published in the papers and so on. Very quiet in the end, but Erwin could easily say he preferred it that way, after all he was much too busy for any large celebrations, not to mention his mental state now that Levi was gone.

The effects of his new status could be seen though, officials and clan heirs now aware that he was to be their king and they had begun to treat him as such, less like an uppity brat and more like the esteemed strategist he truly was. He had been able to pass several of his plans regarding the military especially now that the commander in charge was more keen on listening to him, however reluctant he seemed about it.

And there were other effects too of course, such as nobles and clan heirs approaching him more, striking up alliances and not-so discreetly trying to set up engagements with their sons and daughters, though Erwin brushed them all off each time. He was always left feeling funny after those encounters, unmoored and off balance, his heart doing funny tricks in his chest with some distant nausea building up in his stomach. And, unerringly, he was always left thinking about Levi, his mind bringing him up at all times now, but always especially after these engagement talks.

His shoes clicked against the cold stone stairs as he walked up to the palace, his steps echoing around the desolate marble halls as he made his way towards the king’s bedchamber. The man hardly left his rooms these days, much too sick for even short walks let alone prolonged meetings.

Erwin’s arrival was announced by the guards stationed outside the king’s rooms and then he was let in, the room cast in darkness, the air stale and damp. The end of the king clung to every surface available, hanging in the air like impending doom. The realization of it rippled through Erwin like a shock, the fact that it likely wouldn’t be long at all now before the king would be gone.

”My lord,” he greeted as he sat down by the king’s bedside, back straight and shoulders squared.

”Erwin… you came,” the king croaked, turning his head to face him, though it seemed to take quite a bit of effort from him to manage it.

”Yes, my lord,” Erwin shifted his position on the chair, ”I have many important matters to discuss with you.”

”Is it …about that mutt?”

Erwin briefly furrowed his brows, unsure if he had heard the king correctly, but before he could answer the king continued waving his arm.

”He’ll come back,” he said, ”a dog always finds its way back home.”

Erwin realized the king had assumed he had come to talk about Levi, though Erwin was utterly loath to bring up the Ackermans to the king at all anymore, unable to stand how other eldians talked about them.

”No, I wasn’t going to talk about Levi,” Erwin said with a deep sigh, reigning in his annoyance. It had been growing thin as of late, Erwin’s patience, never before had he assigned the blame of his father’s death to anyone in particular, never had considered if it had been this king or Uri Reiss who had wanted him gone, or perhaps someone else altogether, but the more he was involved with the palace, the more he had been exposed to their wicked politics and the more he felt connected to his father, to the choices he had made that had lead to his death.

Only Erwin was not planning to die just yet, the circumstances were different now and most of all, Erwin had been named as an heir due to the king’s desperate gamble to reign in the Ackerman clan, while Uri Reiss had opted to keep the clan separate from Eldia altogether. Erwin knew he would soon have the chance to change things, would have the chance to find out once and for all who had killed his father and what for. Things were different than they had been then.

Lying on the bed, the king groaned. ”If it’s about that Nile then I’d suggest you keep your mouth shut, Erwin, I’ve already said what I will on that matter ages ago,” the king’s voice was rough and more akin to a croak than anything else, beads of sweat falling down his temples after such a long sentence.

Erwin gritted his teeth, knowing it was still a precarious game he was playing with the king. ”Then may I inquire about a different matter, one pertaining to my father?”

The king glanced at him, observing him. ”You’ve figured it out then, yes? That your father sat here quite like this, when Uri Reiss first got sick,” the king glanced around the room, his eyes sweeping across the space as if he could still see them all there, standing around him.

At length, he let his eyes settle on Erwin again. ”He would’ve been king, that father of yours, had he not been so damn stupid.”

”Stupid? I don’t believe you.”

The king chuckled, his laughter morphing into a sick cough. ”Well, good people are always so stupid.”

”Do you consider Uri Reiss stupid then as well?”

The king hummed, saying nothing for a while. ”He wasn’t as good of a person as you seem to think he was, Erwin.”

Erwin said nothing, wanting the king to speak his fill.

The king turned to him. ”But I’m glad you’re smarter than they are, Erwin. Smarter than your father, for choosing Eldia over those mutts, smarter than Uri Reiss for properly using them, too.”

Erwin longed to ask him about his obsession with Levi, with the Ackermans, but he could feel the king had not yet finished and so he quelled his temptation and stayed quiet.

The king looked away again, glancing out of the window where the curtains were slightly parted to let him see the view of the garden outside. ”Though, maybe I’m not so smart either, for making that stupid vow. Had I not, I could’ve killed them all myself.”

He sighed. ”That’ll be the one regret I leave behind. That I won’t be there to see them all gone. Damn dogs, the whole lot, they’re all to blame for Eldia’s problems, a plague is what they are.”

The king turned once more to look at Erwin. ”But I know you can do it. That’s why I chose you, Erwin. You can finish what they started 100 years ago. It’s what I’m betting my life on, that’ll you will see reason and finally do what I would’ve, what Uri Reiss should’ve if he wasn’t such a good fucking person.”

Still Erwin said nothing, a horrified sort of silence filling him, but he knew the king had been playing this game for a long time and Erwin only needed to play along with him for a few moments longer, until he was free to do as he saw fit. He couldn’t lose his temper now, no matter what the king said, not if he wanted to save Eldia, save Levi.

”But you’re a con man Erwin, I always knew it. It’s why I called you back here, I always knew you had your father’s wits… and your mother’s ruthlessness.”

At that, Erwin faltered. ”You… knew my mother?”

A chuckle, interrupted by a rattling cough. ”Of course, I worked with your father for years, Erwin, I knew them both quite well.”

A sick sort of smile spread on the king’s lips, as if he enjoyed knowing something Erwin did not. ”Had your father chosen differently, both of your parents would still be here now.”

It was utterly silent in the room after that, the words hanging in the air, tension thick as Erwin was helpless to do anything but sit there, eyes wide.

”I hope you’ll keep that in mind, Erwin, after I’m gone. There’s still much you don’t know about Eldia, but you’ll find out like all the kings before you. And I hope you’ll make different choices than your father did.”

Soon after that the king’s personal physician was ushered into the room and Erwin got up silently, his feet numb as he walked.

At the door, Erwin paused, looking back at the king from over his shoulder. Well, you said it yourself, he thought almost ruefully, maybe I really am a con man after all.

Between the king and his father, the choice whom to trust was easy after all, but the king didn’t need to know that.

—

Most days, Erwin spent his time at the Ackerman estate. The people there had been happy to see him before, now they all looked upon him with pity, their smiles sad and greetings quiet.

He hadn’t seen Isabel or Furlan after their confrontation, instead it was often Hanji there to greet him, hands on their hips, smiling at him widely as he made his way towards them.

”I’m about to suggest that you just move here at this point, Erwin! Would save you the trouble of walking here everyday!”

Erwin huffed, smiling. ”I could use the exercise though.”

”And the sunlight too, I don’t doubt, you look so pale these days!”

Erwin said nothing more, only hummed in acquiescence and together they walked around the estate, doing different tasks much like he and Levi had done before. They were greeted warmly by the people, though Erwin felt unsettled, seen through, whenever people offered him those sad looks and pitiful smiles.

After all, who was Levi even, to bruise and to disturb and unsettle his soul like this? Who was he, to mark Erwin so deeply that it was visible in daylight like this, free for anyone at all to observe?

And when had it happened that he had possessed Erwin like this, owning him and leaving him feeling like this now that he was gone? Just who was he, what was he to Erwin? He felt as though he’d need at least a millenia, if not another, to even conceive of being free of the torment Levi had bestowed upon him.

As if sensing the turmoil within him, even Hanji took pity on him, leaning against their shovel, looking up at him over the rim of their glasses, the sun beaming down on the two of them. ”He isn’t dead.”

Erwin sighed, not returning their gaze, digging up earth more harshly. ”I know, believe it or not, I know.”

They nodded, moving to pick up their shovel again, the two of them working in the fields at the outskirts of the estate, two horses nearby, the two of them having ridden there since the way was so long.

”I believe you,” they said, not elaborating.

Erwin huffed. ”It bothers me though, how everyone seems to know something I don’t, no matter where I go.”

”A nation of secrets, this one, that’s for sure!”

”I’ll say,” Erwin agreed, wiping sweat from his forehead, his cheeks red and golden hair clinging to his temples.

It was much later as Erwin and Hanji made their way back to the estate, chatting as they rode, languid underneath the setting sun, painting everything red and gold.

Such a hard-earned peace was quickly disturbed as they neared their destination, a large commotion there, people shouting and running about, panicked and frightful.

Erwin and Hanji shared one look before quickly speeding up their gait, riding the horses faster until they reached those familiar faces.

”What has happened?” Hanji demanded to know and it was Petra who turned to them, her eyes wild and fearful.

”The king has died!”

The words were like a shock to Erwin’s system, halting him completely, his hands shaking and mind struggling to process the weight of what she had said.

”What?!”

”Word came from the palace, they’re summoning all the clan heads at the castle now, they came here to inform Mikasa,” Petra continued.

”Where is she now?!”

Petra pointed towards some buildings in the distance. ”She told them off, they didn’t do anything else, but Erwin—”

”Oh, good heavens, Erwin, what—”

At length the man in question reigned himself in, gripping the leather in his hands tighter, eyes steeled in determination.

”I have to go there,” he said, his arm muscles flexing with the tension building in his body, ”my friend—”

”Go then!”

And he did, with swift movements he left with the horse that wasn’t even his to begin with, riding through the lands and the fields on the Ackerman estate and towards Mitras.

The word spread quickly through Eldia, like wildfire, completely untamed and uncontrollable. As Erwin rode through the city on horseback, he thought he could almost hear the people whispering, worried and anxious, about the king being gone.

But that was the least of Erwin’s worries as he rode, the wind rushing in his ears, sunlight stinging his bright eyes, wide with the horror of what he was trying to stop.

It was a horrible practice, Erwin had always thought so ever since the first time his father had ever taught him about it, about the covenant. How the world they lived in saw the noble clan heads as subservient to the king, belonging to him after the vow of loyalty had been made. They were bound after that, body and soul, and once the king died, they were summoned to follow, each and every one, kneeling on those cold palace floors, ceremonial swords pressed to their chests, ready to pierce skin and bone.

Perhaps to some it might’ve sounded glorious, such a striking image of lifelong loyalty, but to Erwin it was only cruel. Maybe it was because he was an orphan himself, or maybe it was simply his empathetic nature, but to orphan children for the sake of some show had always left him feeling utterly unmoored.

For he could only barely remember his mother, sick from her illness, gently caressing his cheek, brushing away his hair, whispering it’s all right, but even as small as Erwin had been, he had still understood that everything wasn’t all right. And he could remember his father leaving the house, waving back at him from the door, I’ll be right back, Erwin, and then he’d never seen him again.

Even worse, it was all serving to remind him so viscerally of the day the soldiers had come to his house, telling him his father had been shot. And looking down at his father’s corpse, skin grey and dead, eyes closed and the blood only haphazardly cleaned away, was a memory Erwin would never be able to forget, experiencing such a thing was something he would never wish upon anyone else.

To Erwin it seemed the kings of Eldia were as if doomed to replay the past, as if it was all they knew, doing only what the kings before them had done.

Nothing changes, nothing changes, nothing ever does, he thought despairingly.

Erwin arrived at the palace quickly, swiftly demounting from his horse, watching the commotion at the palace stairs.

”Mother, please!”

”Be quiet! It is an honor, if you cannot see that then you are no child of mine.”

And elsewhere, ”anyone who betrays the crown like those Ackermans must perish, by even entertaining such a thought you have already failed me.”

”Father—”

”Step aside, son.”

Most walked into the palace with their heads held high, utterly unwilling to show any kind of fear or hesitation at all. They had chosen this, in some cruel and twisted way, they had known this day would come, like all the times before it.

The covenant ceremony was an appalling thing, perhaps only upheld for as long as it had been because most people of Eldia would never see it in all of its bloody glory, would never be there to witness the clan heads massacre themselves, one by one, would never have to hear the gurgling of them drowning in their own blood, or hear how they wept as died, whimpered as the light left their eyes.

Worse it was for those who lacked the will to raise that sword by their own hand, the guards in the room ready to murder any who showed fear or reluctance. And of course there were those that tried to flee, hung outside the palace for treason the very next day.

Erwin made his way up the stairs swiftly, seeing many unfortunately familiar faces among the crowd gathered there, the clan heirs desperately pleading with their parents, with the guards, with the king’s advisors as they all made their way inside.

”Erwin!”

It was Nile who called for his attention, grabbing at his arm, in his eyes a wild and despairing look, one that ached in Erwin’s soul, a look that he knew all too well himself.

”Nile, it’s alright,” he said and thought of his mother’s final lie.

His friend only nodded, letting him go and so Erwin went, facing the guards stationed outside. As the heir, Erwin was let inside, it was after all his place to see the ceremony, to make sure the covenant was honored.

”You are all of you summoned by the king, a call to arms that all of you have answered. This covenant binds you now, for your king is dead and his soul commands you to follow!”

The words rang inside the hall clearly, echoing around and bouncing off of the walls. Erwin watched the lords kneeling on the floor, raising their swords high, the tips pressed against their hearts. Their eyes were resolute, though some showed hints of reluctance, as if they hadn’t really thought it would ever come to this.

”… Stop this!” He tried, some of the clan heads turning to look at him, none surprised to see him protesting there. Outside, he could hear their heirs still screaming for their parents, unheeding of what such a commotion would look like to outsiders, only wanting their dear parents back.

Erwin tried to make his way through the room but was soon grabbed and held by the guards stationed around the room, though he struggled but there were more of them than him and the more he resisted, the more they fought back, punching him, kicking him down so he was kneeling on the floor as well, arms held by them, his eye bruised and lip bleeding.

The guards held his head up, some errant punches and kicks delivered as Erwin was forced to witness the scene before him.

Swiftly the clan leaders plunged their swords through their chests, one by one, falling down on the floor as they died. There were no more fanciful words spoken, no promises, no comforts. They only died, kneeling on the cold marble floors, nothing but meat for sacrifice, martyrs kneeling on the marble floors like lambs upon an altar or in the butcher’s block.

The advisor looked around the room, the floors utterly stained with blood that was still pouring out of the fallen bodies in rivulets, bubbling away happily like little streams in the forest, pooling on the marble floors, nasty and awful.

”And so the covenant is fulfilled once more,” the noble advisor said, ”and the oath shall be re-pledged.”

There were only dead bodies there to hear him, and the soldiers that had aided in their deaths. And Erwin, of course, now countless steps closer to being crowned king himself.

And just like that the soldiers released him, stepping away with a salute, once more standing guard by the heavy palace doors and around the marble hall.

Erwin gasped, still feeling where they had held him back, stopped him from doing anything at all and he turned to see the doors behind him, the sickening and heartbreaking quietude, no more protests to be heard anywhere.

Slowly Erwin stood up, gaze distant and back hunched as he made his way outside, seeing the clan heirs all there, gathered near the door and scattered about the stairs, looking up at him, bloodied and bruised, now the future king they’d all be expected to swear loyalty to.

A king.

And as he walked down the stairs, his head now much more heavy than before, his knees almost buckling under the weight he could feel on his shoulders, his body descending the steps quietly, mind still reeling, he could see the heirs, the new clan heads, all kneeling down as he passed, eyes looking up at him, and mixed in with their tears Erwin thought he could see hope. Hope, that the cycle might be broken, hope, that they wouldn’t have to do to their children what their parents had done to them, and their parents before them and so on and on it had gone, but now there was hope that perhaps it would all be over now.

There were more people all around now, commoners gathered to see the spectacle, all there to see Erwin, beaten up and with his head hung low as he made his way down, the heirs kneeling in respect.

He was a king not yet crowned, the world around him in disarray, distant shouting could be heard, yet Erwin did not have the mind to hear it. His eyes were looking a long way off, into somewhere in the distance, and there was a sort of quiet fury in him, muscles pulled taut like strings, features tight.

The sky was red, bleeding, and even more news were rippling through the air, stabbing through the sky like spears.

”Marley is advancing!”

Erwin took in deep breaths, his steps feeling heavy as he walked, his quiet fury turning more towards incandescent anger as the world fell around him.

”Levi Ackerman has betrayed us all!”

Even more shouting.

”—told you! It’s those Ackerman traitors!”

”He has sided with Marley—!”

”Eldia is going to lose the war!”

—

Chapter Text

The summer was truly and well dead, no trace of the sun’s warmth remained anymore, instead outside only the winds howled, circling trees and ravaging their leaves.

Erwin was gazing down from the palace’s windows, the people lining up on the street nearby, right beside the marketplace. The Azumabito clan’s emissaries were there, distributing aid. Small packages wrapped in white cloth, marked with names and numbers, each one carefully calculated and catalogued to ensure everyone got their fair share.

Dread, worry and stress were constant companions to Erwin these days, his face set in a perpetual frown, forehead creased and heavy sighs slipping past his lips every now and again as if he just couldn’t help himself.

The past weeks had been some of the hardest of his life, ever since the king had passed, Erwin’s life had changed so irrevocably and the advancements made in battle by Marley had only worked to make everything even more difficult, every decision was so complicated and incredibly multi-faceted that Erwin was left feeling as though he was utterly alone, working against the world.

And as he stood there, leaning against the cold marble windowsills, gazing down below, despite all logic, Erwin still could not help but to survey every face, every look, every gaze, looking inexplicably for Levi, letting himself hope he’d see him, hear his voice drifting in the air, catch his scent lingering, or better yet— feel his touch. He was in constant torment due to the incessant ache he felt for the other man, longing to see him again, to have him by his side.

Erwin could not help but wonder if things would be easier for him, if he had Levi beside him, fighting alongside him. Only Erwin could scarcely let himself even consider it, loathe as he was to chain Levi to himself that way, knowing how Levi had always hated the kings and for good reason, Erwin was sure Levi would hate to see him like this, in the palace among all of the people who had detested Levi all of his life and for a long time beyond it as well.

No matter how the thought of it hurt him, Erwin knew he’d never blame Levi for hating him for this, for his choices.

His musings were interrupted however, as the ambassador for the Azumabito clan approached him, her careful steps light and her expression calm.

”King Erwin,” she began, but Erwin waved her off, turning around to face her.

”I am not king yet,” he reminded her, for his coronation had yet to be held. He was still only the heir to the throne, though for all intents and purposes it did not matter if she called him a king, but it still felt wrong for Erwin to hear it.

She pursed her lips, then continued, her hands held in front of her in a respectful manner. ”Mr Smith, is everything to your satisfaction regarding the aid distribution? You are surveying the process quite diligently, I’d hate for there to be something amiss.”

Her speech held an accent betraying her as someone from a foreign land, yet as Erwin took in the way that she looked, her dark hair and grey eyes, he could not help but see many similarities to the Ackermans, especially Mikasa.

Erwin smiled, disappearing the errant thought from his mind, holding his arms behind his back. ”No, there’s nothing amiss at all, thank you for your concern ma’am.”

The Azumabito clan was a wealthy family from the nation of Hizuru, one that Erwin had managed to strike an allegiance with, the clan interested in the rich resources on Eldia’s soil that undoubtedly Marley also wanted to get their hands on.

During his travels Erwin had been to Hizuru before, as such knowing the Azumabito clan was not a very influential one there, instead scorned much like the Ackermans were in Eldia, though not for the same reasons. Erwin could even recall though, that the Azumabito clan had had a historic bloodline of warriors much like the Ackermans, but such a bloodline had disappeared from their numbers, lost in the relentless passage of time, now only remembered in history books.

”Not at all,” she smiled, stepping closer, ”I can see the loss of the Ackerman bothers you, I must say I am surprised you have let so many weeks pass without trying to regain him.”

For a few beats, Erwin only looked down at her, trying to see what she was getting at. Weary of life in the palace, Erwin had only grown to be more suspicious of the people surrounding him there, his longing towards Levi only strengthening with each passing day. He could recall how safe Levi always made him feel, but that feeling of security was all but gone now, as was he.

”You needn’t worry,” he said in the end, choosing not to elaborate on his plans further.

”I must still relay my condolences, I have also heard from our scouts that there has been no trace of Mr Ackerman anywhere at all, wherever King Yeager has taken him, he has exhibited great care to hide Mr Ackerman well.”

Erwin could recall Miche having relayed similar information to him before as well, that there had been no trace of Levi on the battlefields at all, and Erwin could feel the tendrils of anger and ire taking ahold of him, knowing how people had been so quick to blame Levi for treachery simply for having been taken, for Marley’s own advancements. It was no fault of his, yet the eldians were too blinded by their own prejudice to see it.

”Thank you, I will make sure to discuss Mr Ackerman’s whereabouts during the next council meeting.”

She nodded, though Erwin could tell there was still something on her mind by the way her eyes were drifting this way and that, her hands slightly fidgeting. ”Was there anything else you needed? I will try to help to the best of my ability if that’s the case.”

She met his gaze once more, steeling herself. ”I only wished to express my condolences to the clan directly, I was hoping you might arrange for Miss Ackerman to come to the palace so I might meet her.”

”I unfortunately have no authority over the Ackerman clan, but Mikasa Ackerman should be in attendance during my coronation as the representative of her clan, you may take the opportunity to meet her then.”

With that, Erwin bid her farewell with a polite nod and took his leave, the ambassador seeming satisfied with his answer, staying behind to stand by the large windows, looking down at the scene below.

Erwin’s steps were heavy and hurried as he made his way through the palace, mind in turmoil even still, as it often was these days. No matter the stress brought on by his new position in society, he was equally as haunted by Levi’s absence, not only because of his own aching mind but also because of how it seemed everyone else around him was constantly reminding him of Levi, of his loss.

Erwin had spent these past weeks trying not to need Levi, trying not to recall the last time he had seen him. He had spent that time trying to detangle the mess of thorns and brambles inside of his chest that were his feelings for Levi, trying to understand what it was that he felt, the desperate human need to have Levi near, the wanting way in which Erwin missed him.

”Am I not yours to command?” Erwin could recall Levi asking him, his words heavy as they haunted his every waking moment, leaving him no respite even in his dreams. Even though Levi wasn’t at the palace slamming the heavy doors shut, taking his stubborn silence everywhere with him, still he lived in his mind at all times, something that Erwin could never hope to catch or to hold in his arms but something he just as well could never hope to escape.

Erwin could scarcely understand what Levi was doing to him, feeling only this sense of danger and doom whenever he was sure he could see Levi everywhere, hear his voice, catch his scent. Levi was gone but he had left Erwin behind, chasing every whisper of his presence like a drunken man, a boat lost at sea.

He hated to entertain the thought that they might never see each other again, that Levi might be lost to him forever, but would they not, Erwin believed he’d still always be Levi’s just the same. What they had between them, though Erwin had no words for it, was something fundamental, something he breathed. There’d be no separating Erwin from Levi now, half of his soul, he was utterly unwilling to let go of him, come what may.

—

The day of Erwin’s coronation came swiftly. It felt as though years had passed in between the king’s death and everything else that had happened, yet it had only been a handful of weeks. Erwin’s time was scarce and precious these days, spent in council meeting after council meeting, advisors following on his heels like little puppies, nipping at his ankles, yipping and barking this and that.

The ceremonial attire felt heavy on him, stifling. The early Autumn days were cool but the air was humid with rain, oppressive and difficult to breathe. As such, Erwin felt even more heated as the cloak was laid over his shoulders, fabrics dragging across the floor as he knelt, cascading down the stairs leading up to the dais where the throne sat.

A crown was laid upon his head, shining atop his golden hair, neatly combed and parted, errand strands of it falling over his eyes as he looked down, his eyelashes grazing the tops of his cheeks, shadows playing over his sharp features.

The advisor was speaking some ancient words, declaring Erwin as a king, the rightful ruler of Eldia, chosen by the kings before him. It all felt so official, so final. In the dying light of Autumn, the room turned white, then grey, it was utterly silent as Erwin could scarcely hear any sounds at all, though he knew logically that that advisor was still droning on with his speech. In his own ears Erwin could only hear thundering like the relentless seas crashing against the shore, unyielding and unforgiving.

The stillness of everything frightened Erwin, the finality of it all was like a tomb closing in around him, trapping him inside. Being the king was a duty Erwin had never wanted, but one he felt as though he had no right to refuse, either. It was something he had to do, something he had to accept in order to save Eldia and to save Levi, it was something perhaps no one else could do, or something no one else would do.

At least as far as Levi was concerned, Erwin knew he was the only one outside of the clan who cared about his and his people’s wellbeing, anyone else would rather start a civil war akin to the culling that happened 100 years ago than ever even think of trying to integrate the Ackermans with the rest of Eldia.

As the advisor stopped talking, stepping away from Erwin and letting the now-king stand up and face the noble clans, Erwin could all but see the newly built cage slamming shut in front of his eyes, the chains now binding him slithering on the floor, irrevocably tying him to the throne behind him.

His face was resolute as he faced the crowd before him, betraying not a hint of fear or doubt, though both resided inside of his soul, a wide-eyed tightness in his chest, tearing itself through his body like a scream might.

”Now stands before you king Erwin of the house Smith, renowned strategist and esteemed historian, first of his bloodline bound to the throne as the ruler and protector of Eldia and all those welcomed onto its lands. He calls each and every clan to answer his summons now, to pledge their loyalty and life to him and his cause, served as he sees fit.

”How do you answer?”

And Erwin could all but see the sons and daughters stepping over the corpses of their parents as Erwin stepped forth, standing tall while the next clan heads kneeled on the cold floors, the sound of their knees hitting the ground echoing around the large hall.

Before, the clan leaders would have raised ceremonial swords to their chests, pressing the tips against their hearts in a show of fealty and loyalty, reforging the covenant between kings and their men. But Erwin had no need for such sacrifices, for him it would be enough for each person to dedicate their hearts to the fullest and to live to serve the kings who would come after Erwin’s rule.

And so, one by one the clan heirs would instead raise their clenched fists over their hearts as they gave their word to serve Eldia as Erwin saw fit, to give their loyalty and skills to his use and to dedicate their hearts to his cause.

As they knelt, their second in commands leaned over them, draping across their shoulders the forest green capes that signified Erwin’s rule. Each new king chose a different color when they ascended the throne, the color which would be borne by the king and all who had sworn them loyalty, the color which would be hoisted in the flagpoles surrounding the castle, the color which would be carried with the army when they marched into battle.

The king before Erwin had chosen a royal purple as his color, Erwin himself had chosen a deep, almost emerald shade of green. When asked for his reasoning, Erwin had stated it signified the freedom of all eldians, the desire for peace, the love for Eldia’s lands and nature, the importance of life over needless death. In his mind however, all Erwin could see was Levi, kneeling before him, the green color of the Ackerman clan draped over his shoulders, looking up at him through his lashes, the dark gaze in his silver eyes.

The memory of it ran through him like a shudder, seeing the color which was as much Levi’s as it now was Erwin’s like that had undoubtedly played its part in Erwin’s mind as he had chosen it as his own, but it wasn’t only this thought of Levi that had influenced him. It was also the color Erwin had come to associate with home, with his father. He considered the color his, and had for a long time, perhaps its ties to Levi had only strengthened this idea, the desire for Levi to have been marked as his, all this time.

And so it was, one by one each of the clan heads knelt, saying their vows and dedicating their hearts, Erwin’s eyes especially lingering on Nile as he represented his family, each and every clan knelt, except for one.

The advisor spoke out, though everyone already knew it was a foregone conclusion.

”And how does the Ackerman clan answer?”

Erwin’s eyes were fixed on Mikasa as she stepped forward, all dressed in her formal attire and with the Ackerman clan’s color over her shoulders, only a few shades apart from the color Erwin had chosen, their insignia working to set them apart. She raised her chin, looking straight ahead, at no one in particular.

”As the noble advisor can see, our clan head is not present and as such the Ackerman clan will give no answer,” her voice was soft yet carried authority, Erwin knew she must’ve been a fine warrior in her own right.

His advisor grumbled at the response, irritated. ”Is it not high time for the Ackerman clan to acknowledge the disappearance of their clan head and pronounce him dead?”

”Levi Ackerman is not dead,” Mikasa stated as if it was obvious.

”It’s been weeks now, you cannot know that for sure,” his advisor continued and Erwin found himself suppressing a small laugh.

”He is not dead,” Mikasa continued, slowly turning her head to meet the advisor’s gaze directly, her eyes a similar shade of grey as Levi’s, all sharp steel, ”because there is not a soul alive in this world who can kill Levi Ackerman.”

It was a truth Erwin could feel ringing even through his own body and mind, the surety that whatever it was that Levi faced now in Marley, he’d survive it. He’d come back to Erwin, and Erwin in turn never wanted to doubt that again for a second.

His advisor grumbled some more, mutterings falling from between his old and thin lips, but he was mostly able to hold his peace, even if his disdain for the Ackerman clan was clear. The ceremony moved on after that, the clan heads coming forward one by one to introduce themselves to their new king, kneeling before Erwin and kissing his hand.

Despite it arguably being the highest honor Erwin would ever receive, it all still felt quite dull to him, very mundane, and he was not able to see the splendor of it all. Instead his mind wandered back to where it yearned to be at all times, to Levi.

He could all but see Levi in front of him then, keeping his eyes on him as he kneeled, swift and graceful as he always was, form impeccable, his dark hair falling over his face, his touch cool like iron, gaze as deep as the earth, lips soft as they graced against his skin. There was no guilt in Erwin’s mind now, no thoughts about Levi hating him or finding him disgusting. Instead, this image of Levi, on his knees like that, was only for Erwin’s selfish mind, the part of him that didn’t want to ask Levi for anything, but that only desired to command him, to have Levi do as Erwin wanted, regardless of his own will.

Erwin could not deny the existence of this side of him, the possessive and ruthless side, the urge to have and to take, even to dominate, the one that Levi himself had awakened in him, as if calling to his very blood.

He all but shuddered awake from his brief daydream as the last of the new clan leaders had greeted him and his advisor started yelling in his ears again. The ceremonial artefacts aside from the crown were taken from him much to Erwin’s relief and he was free to descend the stairs, making his way to the larger hall outside of the official throne room where other noble guests were waiting for him.

Erwin mingled around the room only briefly, the true celebration of his new status would come later, though he paused as he saw the Azumabito clan’s ambassador speaking to Mikasa.

He was too far away to hear what they said, but was still mildly surprised that Mikasa was present at the event at all anymore. Arguably her part was already done and she was free to go back home to the estate.

As he saw them conversing, no one else at all paying the pair of them any mind, Erwin realized how much less well-known Mikasa was compared to Levi. It could not have been for the lack of skill, because Erwin had seen Mikasa to be incredibly intelligent and physically talented just as Levi was. Yet it was only ever Levi who was scorned in public, only Levi whose name was synonymous with all of Eldia’s hatred for the clan. Erwin could not help but think that Levi had kept Mikasa away from the public eye on purpose, to shield her from the brunt of it all.

He shook his head at the thought, Levi and his kind heart rendering him utterly breathless every single time.

Walking around the hall, Erwin greeted the noble visitors, spoke some words with them and even exchanged some polite nods with the military high command, trying his best to smile and to keep his hands steady as he met as many people as he could. Even Marie was there, raising her glass to him as their eyes met, smiling bright and beautiful as she was. She did not come to greet him, instead shooing him away to go and speak to the other nobles.

Customarily, the next part of the coronation would be Erwin going to the balcony to greet the common people and the lower ranking members of the military. However, instead of making his way towards the balcony to greet the people, Erwin made his way outside, the very clouds in the sky parting as the doors opened, a rare moment of sunlight spilling down on him, turning him golden.

The soldiers of the army were lining the streets, beating their swords and spears against their shields, the women were screaming, men howling and hollering. Erwin’s eyes were wide as he took it all in, the people celebrating their new king.

Erwin could not tell if he felt nervous or frightened, but his shoulders were squared and his back straight as he greeted the soldiers, waved to the onlookers. To the military, he was akin to a commander now, able to make all the final decisions even over the other military high command. The men and women saluted him readily, their faces beaming and bright.

The Hope of Mankind, they had called him before and Erwin could see it in all of their eyes now, hear it in their voices as they screamed themselves hoarse. They saw him as hope renewed, a new king for a new era, they felt that things would change now. Erwin only hoped that it would be true what Marie had told him what felt like an eternity ago, that he would have the strength to bear all these lives and dreams on his shoulders without crumbling entirely under the weight of them.

—

The heavy doors opened as Erwin stepped inside, striding across the hall and walking straight to the place left open for him at the front of the table, a crowned king that he was. His shoulders were squared, his posture confident and he felt even taller than he knew himself to be.

He clasped hands with some of the people who were now his advisors, knowledgeable in different areas like military, agriculture, infrastructure and the like, the group around him now consisting mostly of the very same people he had spent these past months arguing with.

Of course, some had disliked him being the heir and had resigned after the previous king had passed, unwilling to work with Erwin at all. It did not offend him, after all Erwin knew any such person would have only made his life harder if they had stayed, it was much more to his liking that new blood got to join the council and bring forth novel ideas.

The change felt palpable in the air, the noble clan heads had all of course been changed and the people who had hung around the edges of the room were now stepping forth with hope shining in their eyes, tightly clutching documents against their chests that the previous king had failed to acknowledge at all, important information from the outer districts, presented by the people selected to represent their cities and counties in front of the king.

Erwin welcomed these representatives, waving them forward, letting them present the information they had collected, his brow furrowed as he listened to them talk. He nodded along as they spoke and thanked each one after they were finished, having his scribe take notes beside him for him to look over later in more detail.

”—and so, we are losing even more farmable land in the outer districts now that Marley is slowly advancing in the South,” one representative concluded, stepping aside as Erwin nodded.

”Thank you for your input,” he began, eyes glued onto the map before him, his weight on his hands as he leaned against the table, ”it seems though that my earlier plan of securing the southern ports has proved useful. We are still able to receive aid from our foreign allies despite Marley’s interference.”

”Yes, my lord,” his advisor affirmed, ”reports from soldiers state that the southern ports are still holding, though the problem now lies with transporting the aid we receive, as Marley has done small scale attacks on these transports lines.”

Erwin nodded gravely. ”Anything else?”

”Uh, it also seems that your plan of reinforcing our stand in the western districts has worked well for us, according to our reports the soldiers have been able to keep the ground and there is plenty of farmable land in the West as well.”

Erwin sighed. ”Good, it’s important that we keep the southern ports open and working,” his gaze was focused, eyes flitting this way and that as he looked at the map spread out on the table, observing and thinking, ”I suggest we begin building secondary ports in the West as well, just in case Marley decides to up their attacks in the South.”

People were murmuring their assent, nodding along to his words when another one spoke out, ”we may not have enough people to build the ports, my lord, since so many able bodied citizens are conscripted into the army.”

”Gather as many as you can, if needed, the army can lend some people temporarily as well,” Erwin said, the military commander grumbling beside him, clearly unsatisfied.

Then another advisor spoke up, one Erwin could distantly remember from the council meetings he’d been in before.

”We have received intel from the South recently that marleyan ships have been spotted near the ports, my lord.”

”So it seems Marley may be planning a blockade to starve us after all,” Erwin sighed.

Before he could continue, voices of dissent were already rising.

”I should remind your highness that if this strict rationing continues, you’ll have a civil war on your hands soon enough.”

”My lord, have you considered that the reason Marley has had so many victories in battle recently is due to the betrayal of that Ackerman? He has clearly switched sides—”

”—us nobles hardly should ration anyway, before the rationing was limited to the outer districts and that’s how it should be!”

Erwin raised his hand, attempting to quell the rising voices, yet people were eager to yell out their disagreements now that they’d gotten a chance.

”And frankly, why should we listen to you, aren’t you the one who’s been colluding with the Ackerman dogs for months now!”

”Yes! I’ve always said his relationship to that Levi was suspicious—”

”—and he’s even been dragging that mad inventor everywhere now that the old king is gone—”

Even the military commander joined in, laughing heartily. ”I always thought you’d be a traitor, Smith, just like your father, trying to destroy Eldia from within!”

Hearing them talk, Erwin could feel the cold tendrils of fury settling into his body, creeping in and slithering their way into every available crevice in his body, squeezing around his lungs until he was all but breathing wrath.

”Enough!”

At once the room fell silent, everyone settling in place once more, watching Erwin. He stood up straighter, his height and figure imposing and many people around him straightened themselves as well, attempting not to look quite so small in comparison.

”There are no confirmed reports of any sightings of Levi Ackerman on the battlefields, not by our soldiers nor the scouts from the Azumabito clan. I will hear no more unfounded slander, Levi Ackerman is an eldian and you have no basis to attack him like this,” he began, his voice stern though calm.

”Additionally, rationing will continue as it has, it is only fair that no one section of this country needs to bear the burden alone. Thanks to our alliance with the Azumabito clan, there is no current threat of starvation,” Erwin continued, taking the time to look the people who had spoken in the eye, facing them head on, letting them know he had heard their baseless accusations and that he would remember what they had said in the future.

”Despite our best efforts, Eldia is an island nation and the risk of Marley beginning a blockade against us is increasingly likely and as stated before, we will begin taking steps to ensure this cannot happen. We need to strengthen our own navy and prepare ourselves against naval warfare as best as we can. In addition, we will continue to use inventor Hanji’s weaponry in battle as we have, to ensure there will be no needless loss of life on our side.”

Agreements were much quieter than the disagreements from before, but people were nodding along to his words, some even sheepishly shifting their weights from one foot to another, avoiding Erwin’s gaze.

Erwin had been more confident in his winning strategy before, but the longer Levi was absent from his side, the more doubt began to filter into his mind and body, thinking that what he had planned before might not be enough on its own in the end. Everything that Erwin had said was true, there were many things they needed to do and prepare for to ensure Marley could neither begin a full scale invasion nor destroy their ports and navy.

Heavy sighs slipped from between his lips once more as he pondered about it all, the council meeting continuing on around him, though Erwin was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on what was being said.

And not for the first time, Erwin dearly wished he had Levi there by his side, his quiet and steady presence a soothing balm to his busy mind that left him no chance to rest at all.

—

It was a few days after that, slipping among the people of Eldia like a snake, slithering, quiet and quick, that the plague began.

At first Erwin received reports of mules and horses all but dying where they stood, drooping against their fences, eyes rolling. Then it was the sheep and the dogs, whining and snapping at the air, mouths foaming. Farmers were instructed to burn the dead, ridding the animals as fast as they could, piling them high on pyres, cleaning away the pools of bloody vomit they left behind. The people working on these tasks were told to clean themselves well, burn their clothes, and for a few days more the plague relented.

However, the next week the illness had made its way to the people. Dozens in the army were pierced with it, crumbling to the ground, eyes bulging and lips bleeding red threads down their chins and necks. By midday the day after, the fear had struck the hearts of all eldians, the memory of the most recent plague not so far in history as to have been forgotten already.

Pyres were built for the dead and the sick were confined to their own areas in the hospitals, their loved ones scarcely allowed to even see them anymore.

Another day then another, dozens and dozens of people getting sick and dying only a few days later, bodies piled high as they were burned, necessity demanding many to be burned and buried at once instead of everyone receiving their own personal funeral pyres, flesh and bone mingling together as they melted.

Although, strangely, not a single sick person could be found among the Ackerman creed. Logically, Erwin knew this to be due to how isolated the Ackermans were, remembering how Levi had told him of how they even grew their own food and Erwin had spent countless days at the estate, helping with the animals and the small farms.

But the people of Eldia were frightened. They had suffered heavy losses in war and now they were all but being attacked in their daily lives, people’s nerves were fraught and thin due to rationing and rumors. They were scared and full of suspicions and the Ackermans had always been easy targets for all of Eldia’s failures, much too easy to blame for every single thing that went wrong.

”I just don’t like it,” Marie muttered, hugging her arms closer, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders to shield from the cold draft inside the old hospital.

”It’s only a short visit, we need to see what’s happening with our own eyes,” Erwin said, gaze drifting this way and that as they made their way through the hallways.

Marie was still mumbling as they walked, something about how she wasn’t needed there at all and how Erwin could deal with it all himself. Erwin only sighed, turning to face Hanji on his other side.

”So? You were saying something?”

The physician hummed and hawed for a moment, adjusting their glasses as they all but pranced beside Erwin without a care in the world. ”Ah! Yes, I was reporting about the recent attacks.”

Erwin furrowed his brow, worry immediately rising within him. ”Attacks?”

”Well, you see, now that our dear Levi is gone, people have gotten braver, gone closer to our estate and there have been some incidents.”

”What kinds of incidents?”

Hanji peered at him over the rims of their glasses, brows raised. ”Nothing so bad yet, I wouldn’t even call them attacks myself but little-Izzy told me not to underestimate the situation.”

Erwin sighed. ”Could you be more specific?"

”Well, there has been some heckling, some hootin’ and hollerin’, a couple of rocks thrown, the likes.”

”That’s really bad, Hanji, Isabel was right to tell you to call them ’attacks’,” Erwin said, his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose to try and quell the headache he could already feel brewing behind his closed eyelids. He sighed deeply, lowering his hand, ”I really didn’t need any more troubles today.”

”Oh, poor king Erwin,” Hanji laughed, surprisingly upbeat all things considered, ”suffering now that his dear Levi is gone!”

Erwin could see Marie looking at them now from the corner of her eye, clearly interested when the topic of Levi was brought up, though she was still otherwise a silent presence at his other side and he paid her no mind just then. ”In any case,” Erwin interrupted Hanji’s increasingly maniacal laughter, ”I asked you to meet us here to discuss the possibility of you working on a cure to this plague.”

”I figured as much,” Hanji pushed up their glasses, ”you never just wanna hang out with me these days Erwin! You always have something to ask.”

Erwin huffed out a small laugh. ”How much did we really ’hang out’ before?”

”Whaat? You always used to hang out at the estate!”

Yes, to see Levi, Erwin thought but chose not to entertain Hanji any longer as they were approached by a group of doctors and nevermind any prejudices, the group of them were quite happy to see Hanji after Erwin introduced them as a physician and a scientist and they were off soon after, leaving Erwin and Marie alone in the otherwise quite deserted hallway.

Erwin made to move forward, he and Marie had come to the hospital to see the plague for themselves but also to console the people who had fallen ill, to remind them that they were not abandoned and that Erwin would work to help them as best as he could. However, he did not manage more than one step before Marie grabbed ahold of his sleeve, clutching it tightly in her fist.

”Marie? What is it?”

She shook her head, her eyes distant and frightened. ”It’s just—” she began, her lip wobbling, ”my parents— they…”

Erwin sighed, his shoulders sagging as he turned to face her fully. ”I understand. You do not need to accompany me further.”

After all, Marie had lost both of her parents to the plague that had ravaged Mitras in their youth, and she still remembered it much more devastatingly than Erwin, who had been quite young when his mother had passed from the same illness. Marie had likely spent countless days visiting sickrooms just like these, trying to see her parents before it was too late.

She nodded, eyes still vacant, and rushed out of the hospital with her heels clacking against the stone floors.

Erwin watched her go, suddenly recalling what the king had told him before he had passed, what he had asked Erwin to remember once he’d be gone. That if his father had made different choices, then both of his parents would still be here. Erwin was not sure what the king had meant by it, considering his mother had died of an illness, something that surely could not have been prevented by his father’s choices alone. He had been no doctor nor a scientist after all.

Erwin furrowed his brow, turning around with a sigh and making his way towards the sickrooms. He was not at all sure what the king had been trying to imply, but Erwin did know that it all had to tie back to the multitude of other secrets that were tying him back to Eldia, like a fish caught in a net. And most of all, Erwin was sure that this too had something to do with the Ackermans.

And this reminder wouldn’t leave Erwin alone, ringing through his mind, tangling with the absence of Levi in his soul, later leading Erwin wandering the halls of the palace, the building almost as old as Eldia itself, stone and marble, cold to the touch.

He felt so small walking there, hand tracing along the walls as he went, for the first time truly taking the time to look around, to observe from up close how the place had been built, how it had changed.

Along the walls there were statues and carvings of not only the previous monarchs but also the people who had been most loyal to them, who the rulers had selected to be honored in this way, to be looked upon and admired by the kingdom for the rest of all eternity.

Erwin paused to look at the bust statue of the king before himself, he was placed in the hall all alone, no one at all to keep his memory company, but as he moved along to the statue of Uri Reiss, there was an odd space beside him, as if something had been there but had been removed after the fact.

He didn’t think about it that much in the moment, only moving along the hall, thinking instead about Levi and the day they had met, when Levi had taken the time to show Erwin around the Ackerman estate, introducing him to the past members and leaders of the clan, saying he was trying his best to keep the people he loved from becoming nothing more than paintings on a wall.

But the further along that Erwin walked, the halls decorated with centuries worth of memories of the kings and their men, it was becoming increasingly clear to Erwin that there had indeed been something there before that had since been erased, silently taken out without anyone noticing at all. The oldest statues all seemed to have a similar odd space beside them, just like Uri Reiss’ statue. Something the newer statues did not have.

And finally, as Erwin traced his fingers along the wall where the crests of each and every noble house had been carved, until he reached the end where once again it was clear something had been there but had been removed, Erwin thought of Levi.

It was clear to him that for a long time the Ackermans had not only been a noble house among others, but that they had specifically been ruling alongside the previous monarchs, perhaps aiding them or protecting them, like kings and their loyal hounds, until something had changed and the eldians had decided they were more trouble than they were worth, that they were something that needed to be eradicated completely.

After all, Erwin deduced, it could not be for no reason that there was something missing only next to the statues of kings that had had Ackermans bent the knee to them.

Erwin’s hand was laying flat against the wall where the Ackerman crest had been all but hacked off, only an ugly scar left behind, the palace not even bothering to properly cover it up, as if they knew no one would bother to look or to care about its absence.

The rest of the evening Erwin spent in the palace library, combing through historical records and a myriad of old books, trying to find even a trace of Ackerman history, but only finding torn pages, scratched off records and empty spaces where entire books used to be.

The Ackermans had been irreparably removed from existence by the palace, but why, Erwin did not know. They had been so clearly and for so long been a loved and cherished clan in the eyes of the kings, who had chosen to have their Ackerman clan leaders lifted up beside them after they passed, as if following them even into death, like a bond that could never be severed. The kings from centuries before had wanted to be remembered in tandem with the Ackermans, but now they had been burned away from all historical records, concealed and shut away from history completely.

Erwin was sure it was tied to the undeniable power of the Ackermans, he could remember so clearly the wondrous sight of Levi fighting, moving easily like a bird taking flight, utterly effortlessly, and he was sure he could guess that the Ackermans had been loved for their strength before, until they perhaps grew to be too many in numbers, grew to be too powerful, until they were feared instead of respected.

Maybe the rest of eldians had turned on them for all the things they had loved about them before. Erwin thought of Levi, of his stubborn attitude and chuckled to himself, thinking maybe they had grown to be too stubborn instead, too uncontrollable until they weren’t seen as useful at all.

Or maybe it had been discovered that they were useful in different ways. With a sigh, Erwin put away the book he had been holding in his hands, looking around the royal library. It was where he had been studying as a young child after his father had passed, the stifled atmosphere had been clear to Erwin even then. The people in the castle were not allowed to speak freely of what had truly happened in Eldia’s past, especially so when it came to the Ackermans.

By now it was already abundantly clear to Erwin that everything tied back to the clan somehow, every little secret in the nation was about the Ackermans, and now Erwin scarcely had anyone to ask about them, since Levi had been taken from him.

At the thought of it, Erwin looked up, eyes wide, realizing suddenly that it was exceedingly likely that the very reason the war had started, the reason for why Marley had attacked, was to gain access to the Ackermans. He could remember the foreign nobles talking about the things they wanted to do to Levi, to be able to trade members of the Ackerman clan like they were nothing more than livestock, and he shuddered in horror, leaning back against the bookshelf as the realization of it all passed through him, remembering how even the king before him had offhandedly brought up the marleyan king Zeke Yeager in relation to the Ackermans.

Even more so than before, Erwin felt his knees buckling under the weight of his guilt, the heavy rainfall on the day that Levi had been taken had felt like the prickling of a thousand needles and Erwin felt that he deserved it all for what he had done.

But the fact that the war was still ongoing must’ve meant that Levi had still not yielded, that the marleyans had not been able to get out of him what they were after, though what that was, Erwin was afraid to discover.

He let his legs fall out from under him, back slowly sliding down against the bookshelves as he sat down on the floor, head thumping against the books behind him as he looked up at the high ceilings, letting dread and guilt consume him.

—

The evening descended as though someone was pulling the curtains closed, keeping Erwin from seeing the day before.

As always Levi entered his quiet dreams as Erwin lay on his bed, still leaning against the headboard with one of his father’s books spread out on his lap. The line between memory and haunting was thin, when it came to Levi Erwin was not at all sure he could tell the difference anymore.

Still Erwin hoped Levi would never stop visiting him in his dreams like this, because more and more it seemed that was all Erwin still had left of him. Each night of such beautiful torture that Erwin survived was a miracle, even then as Levi’s skin brushed against his, the heat and strength of the desperation that flooded Erwin’s veins was immense, utterly soul-shattering.

The shadows were cold as they fell around him, yet Levi’s mere presence was warm and Erwin didn’t even think to hesitate before he reached out, pulling Levi towards him, closer and closer, wanting to feel the warmth of him against his own body, to feel the way his breath would tickle the skin of Erwin’s neck, brushing right against his pulse as he leaned in closer, teasing.

Sitting on his lap like this Levi always managed to look down at Erwin like he was an inconvenience, as if he hadn’t settled there all on his own, wrapped his arms around Erwin’s neck, wound his fingers in his hair all without needing to be asked. He reminded Erwin so much of a housecat that just so happened to always be nearby, always in the same room, looking for affection as if wholly by accident.

The thought made him chuckle, but then Levi’s thighs tightened around Erwin, squeezing him, his voice fractured as he whispered his name like it was a secret between them and all laughter died out entirely, replaced by heated breaths.

Erwin imagined tenderness like this wouldn’t come easy for Levi, so difficult it was to imagine it reflected in Levi’s eyes that Erwin never managed such a feat at all. Instead Levi always looked down at him like Erwin was a weakness he didn’t want to have, his eyes dark like a songbird’s, trapped in a cage and forced to sing.

Being a king now, Erwin ached to simply push Levi away from himself, to not subject him to servitude like this, to not trap him with his loyalty like a leash between the two of them.

Even the mere thought of it had Erwin turning his face away from Levi, his mouth twisting from nausea, guilt rising up his throat like bile.

But just as Erwin was a weakness Levi didn’t want to have, so was he the same to Erwin, a selfish want, a careless indulgence, a weakness.

And still he was helpless to do anything else but be swayed by him, drowning in his starlight gaze, wondering what name he could give to the feeling rising inside of him every time they were close like this.

Levi grasped his chin with his fingers, gently guiding Erwin to meet his gaze again. They were incredibly close, breathing the same air, Levi’s breaths warm on Erwin’s lips, soft like a kiss.

Erwin was swaying forward, as if bewitched, his eyes lidded and hazy, dark with want.

If he kisses me, I’ll—

The thought was swiftly interrupted, having come into Erwin’s mind wholly unbidden, the force of his sudden wanting pulling him awake, leaving him gasping on his bed with wide eyes, staring into the darkness of the space Levi left behind.

Before, Erwin had had no words at all to describe the way he wanted Levi, craved him, his yearning bleeding into all of his gestures and even the way he breathed, moving into his life so quietly he had scarcely noticed it at all until these haunting dreams took ahold of him each night.

But now… oh.

It was love, of course it was. Erwin could only wonder at himself why it had taken him so long to realize it at all. All that fear, that terror, all of it was just love of the most exquisite kind, the kind that thrilled Erwin just thinking about it, the kind people spent entire lifetimes looking for.

Perhaps the knowledge, the realization of it should've been earth-shattering for Erwin only it was not, instead it was something warm, soothing. A cat curling up to sleep inside of his soul, calm and content. The brambles and thorns that had lived in him before now slithered away, leaving only pure sunlight in their wake, shining and warming until Erwin felt that he had summer itself living inside of him, the ocean’s gentle waves lapping at his heart.

Yet equally the realization of his feelings was followed by dread and guilt. It was heartbreaking, somehow, the knowledge that Erwin had neglected to choose love before the option had even truly been presented to him. It had taken him this long, nearly all of his life, to realize his want, to truly want to hold something with both of his hands, to touch and to cradle, to possess, to have. And he had had it all within his grasp and still he had lost it, unable to reach out and ask to have Levi, whom he had known for many months now.

And now he was left alone, missing Levi so unfathomably deeply, achingly, hurting in his body, all over his joints and his bones were in pain, his heart howling at Levi’s absence.

He had built this cage for himself all alone, it felt like, that this enchantment with Levi felt like a prison smothered in flowers, his feelings all entangled together still, not all pretty but ugly too, twisted by the world and their circumstances. He wished more than anything that it could be simple, that he was still only some common historian, knocking on the door of Levi’s house, asking him to come build cobblestone paths for their garden.

But he was not, instead he was the king, ruling over all of Eldia, someone Levi would surely hate and detest with all of his soul. Whatever love they could’ve had, Erwin was sure he had destroyed it now, before it had ever even gotten the chance to truly bloom in the first place.

Erwin was gasping on the bed, feeling as though his very heart was trying to claw its way out of his chest, to get to Levi, wherever he was. Almost, they had it. Almost, maybe.

—

And still, Erwin could not let himself regret his choices. If he did, then surely he’d drown under the weight of his sins and all of his bad decisions, crumbling completely like stone turning to dust under the relentless winds of time.

Before, he had let himself consider the thought that he might never see Levi again, but even if Levi would never be his quite like Erwin wanted, the way Levi had laughed in the breaking dawn of early morning when they had been working together all night had irrevocably changed Erwin as a person and it was this surety of his deep, longing feelings of love towards Levi that guided him towards his next desperate decision.

The war left Erwin no time for rest at all, already they had received reports that contradicted everything Erwin had done as a king, that crumbled the trust people had in him, destroyed whatever faith and goodwill he had managed to gather.

”Levi Ackerman has been spotted at Fort Slava in Marley,” they had told him at the morning’s council, disappointment and anger hanging heavy in the air, Erwin’s protests falling on deaf ears as the shouts of rage and betrayal echoed around the room.

It seemed evident to everyone else that Levi had officially switched sides, that he was working for Marley now, and whatever allies Eldia had managed to gather before now scattered into the wind, leaving them behind.

Erwin could only shake his head, sighing deep as he realized the other nations and foreign nobles only wanted the Ackermans, would ally themselves with whichever side had more of them. Only the Azumabito clan remained allied with Eldia, every other nation instead turned their gazes onto Marley, wanting access to the treasure they now allegedly possessed.

Yet Erwin felt no doubt in his heart about Levi’s loyalty, he knew to have an Ackerman’s faith was not a feat easily won, and he was certain that Zeke Yeager had not managed it at all, there was simply no way Levi would abandon the people of his creed like that, the people he cared for so deeply, more than his own life.

But the loss of allies now meant that Eldia’s situation was even more precarious than before, the new intel about Levi’s whereabouts in turn made the situation worse for the remaining Ackermans in Eldia, the plague already having heightened the tensions within the country, now it was only going to get worse as people got wind of Levi’s alleged treason.

Erwin was frantic as he sat in his carriage, asking his driver to hurry as they made their way to the Ackerman estate, the war escalating on every possible front, the reports showcasing the devastation spread out on Erwin’s lap.

The plague had killed much of Eldia’s livestock, not to mention the loss of soldiers and civilians alike. It meant they could no longer continue with Erwin’s previous plans and that they could not hold off Marley for much longer. If things continued as they had, it meant Marley would soon be able to not only start a full scale ground invasion in Eldia but also begin their naval blockade just as Erwin had feared, stopping aid from entering, ensuring that they would all starve before winter even arrived.

And still, undeniably, Erwin’s thoughts only circled around Levi, where he was, if he was hurt terribly, his mind echoing Levi, Levi, Levi, his very soul gnawing on the confines of his ribcage, begging Erwin to go where Levi was.

”You’re going, aren’t you?” Hanji knew after taking one look at him after Erwin had stepped out of the carriage, the scientist standing by the gates to welcome him.

Erwin sighed, his eyes betraying his desperation. ”I have to go, I have to go to him, there’s nothing else that I can see anymore, it’s all driving me insane, I—”

Hanji only clasped his shoulder, wrapping their arm around him and pulled him along, as if they already knew, already understood.

”Then I’ll go with you,” they said, somehow still smiling.

”Hanji—”

”And I won’t hear a word about it! You can’t command me, I’m basically an Ackerman too you know!”

Erwin sighed, resigned, nodding as they walked side by side, the rest of the Ackerman creed watching them go. Erwin knew Hanji would be an asset, their knowledge on many subjects such as the weaponry they had invented and their tactical mind would be a great help to Erwin and to Eldia.

Mikasa was there to greet them as they arrived, her expression calm yet grave, reminding Erwin so much of his dear Levi that it almost had his knees buckling underneath him. Even the small scars on her arms were the same as Levi’s.

She looked at them as if she knew what was happening, and perhaps she did, Erwin knew Mikasa to be quite clever in her own right after all.

”Kiyomi asked me to leave with her, you know,” she said, her arms crossed across her chest.

Erwin could not help his eyebrows raising in surprise, not having expected that to be the reason the Azumabito clan’s ambassador had wanted to meet Mikasa so badly.

”Leave? What for?” Hanji asked, just as surprised as Erwin.

”She says I have some ancestral ties to their clan, she wants me to leave now that Eldia is going to lose the war.”

”Mikasa—”

She lifted her chin at them, her eyes cold and resolute. ”But I won’t go. I will not abandon my clan and I will not abandon Levi either.”

”So, you’ll stay here?” Erwin inquired.

She nodded. ”I’ll stay and protect the clan, after all, I won’t ever hear the end of it if uncle Levi comes back only to see the whole place in disarray.”

Hanji and Erwin chuckled, ”alright,” he said, a small smile pulling at his lips. All too easily he could see the picture Levi would make, scowling and one eyebrow raised, hip cocked and arms crossed, huffing and tsking at everything.

The other high ranking members were soon to join them, one by one volunteering to go or to stay behind. Erwin tried to dissuade them, telling them they didn’t need to do anything more, especially raising his voice as Isabel and Furlan joined the conversation.

”I’m going,” the girl declared, her rusty red hair swaying in the wind.

Immediately Erwin shook his head. ”That battlefield is not your place, Isabel, you owe this kingdom nothing,” he tried to persuade her, ”you have pledged Eldia no loyalty, you do not need to go.”

She tilted her chin up at him. ”I have no loyalty for Eldia, but Levi—”

”Isabel.”

”Levi is still out there! They could be killing him, they could be—” her voice broke off as a sob wracked through her body, shuddering and desperate. Yet her eyes were fiery, an angry sort of determination alight in her.

Erwin sighed. ”Levi would want to see you safe, here in Eldia.”

”You know nothing,” she all but spat at him, ”you don’t know, you don’t know!”

Erwin was not sure what she meant, since it did not take much imagination for Erwin to come up with plenty of things the marleyans could be doing to Levi, if it was true he’d been taken captive. Erwin tried to keep some hope alive that it was only their trick, some baseless propaganda spread in order to break Eldia down further, to divide them even more, if they believed that Levi had been taken, or worse yet; if they believed Levi had switched sides.

”We’re going and you can’t very well stop us,” Furlan chimed in, his voice softer and calmer.

Erwin turned to face him. ”… I thought you both hated me.”

At that, Furlan chuckled. ”Well, I won’t lie and say I’m overly fond of you or anything, but we’re going to save Levi more so than to keep your sorry ass safe.”

Erwin could only nod then, knowing the loyalty these people held for Levi ran deep, they loved him and Erwin could understand that feeling well. He was just as desperate to go, it was hardly his place to deny anyone else of the same option.

It was Nifa who spoke up next, volunteering to go to help Hanji with the weaponry, declaring that she was their assistant after all.

”But—” Moblit tried to object, but was soon cut off by the others.

”You’re a medic, Moblit, we’ll need you here,” Mikasa affirmed, even Petra nodding along with her.

After that, Erwin relayed the rest of his reports to the creed, detailing what had happened and what was likely to happen still, now that the situation had changed for the worse. He owed them all that much, to try his best to keep them all safe, to make sure Levi would still have a home to return to. Then he departed once more, returning to the castle to make preparations.

Erwin was quite the sight surely as he haphazardly wrote down notes and instructions for his advisors, preparing for any scenario that could occur in his absence.

Marie was watching him as he flitted around the room like a panicked bird, leaning against the door frame and playing with the accessories on her dress.

”You know, I can’t help but feel like you’re running away from me, Erwin,” she remarked, though her tone was slightly mischievous.

Erwin sighed, eyes wide as he ran his fingers through his hair, haggard and sweaty from his rushing.

”Marie—”

She waved him off, pushing herself off of the door frame and stepping further into the room. ”I know, I know, you’re going to save Eldia,” she said, ”and… you’re going for him too, aren’t you? For that Levi?”

Slowly Erwin looked up, meeting her knowing gaze.

”Are you quite fond of him?” Marie demanded, though her voice wasn’t harsh or accusing, after all they both knew where they stood in their relationship.

Erwin said nothing, but his silence spoke volumes all on its own, the depth of his blue gaze and the relentless storms brewing inside of his soul.

Marie sighed, looking down. ”I want you to know, Erwin, that what my uncle planned—”

”I know,” he interrupted, ”I know you didn’t want this either.”

She looked at him in silence for many moments, her hands nervously fidgeting, fingers toying with the lace trimmings on her waist. ”You still haven’t made it public, should I take that to mean you aren’t going to go through with it?”

Erwin sighed again, resigned and tired. ”It’s not up to me any longer, Marie, I made a binding vow with the previous king that I would marry you in exchange for the throne, there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

It’s all up to you, but he left the words unsaid, yet the weight of them was hanging in the air between them, heavy and thick. It would be up to Marie to dissolve their engagement if she so chose, after all she was under no such binding oath. She’d only need to have the courage to go after what she really wanted, or who she really wanted.

In the silence that reigned, Erwin signed off the last of his commands and instructions, signing them with his kingly seal. He straightened up, meeting Marie’s unsure gaze directly, his own eyes resolute for once, sure that he was doing what was right, even if Levi himself had forbidden him from going.

But Levi did not know that Erwin loved him, that he’d do anything for him.

—

Chapter Text

They arrived during the night, darkness cloaking them and shielding them away from any curious eyes.

Erwin halted his horse, pulling on her reins, lightly shaking his head so the hood of his cape might fall away from his eyes, the blue color of them bright under the moonlight.

Miche was there to greet them, a grin pulling at his lips as he watched Erwin and his group dismount their horses.

”Welcome back to Shiganshina.”

Erwin clasped his hand in greeting, pulling Miche into a brief hug. ”It’s good to see you again, my friend.”

Miche sniffed the air around him before pulling away, looking Erwin over once, choosing in the end not to voice his thoughts. Something flickered across his eyes however, as if he had smelled something on him.

Flagon was the next to step up, nodding to Erwin, his arms crossed across his chest, pulling his military jacket tighter around himself to shield against the wind and the rain. ”My lord,” he said, though the words sounded slightly forced as if he was loath to say them at all.

Erwin waved him off, still not entirely used to his new title. ”I’m thankful you were both willing to lend me your troops for this mission, I will surely need our best soldiers to complete it.”

Miche grinned, even Flagon straightening his back as they saluted him, beaming with pride. ”Well, that’s us, sir. The best Eldia has to offer.”

No one mentioned Levi this time, though Erwin could not help his mind wandering there anyway, helplessly and incessantly as it often did, chest tight and heart clenching.

As the others gathered as well, Erwin took the time to look around, though the visibility was poor in the darkness and made only worse by the light pattering of rain that had been their constant companion on their journey over.

He was shocked to silence as he gazed over what still remained of the Shiganshina district, the area spreading out below them, under the hill they were stationed atop of. The red color of Marley’s flags hoisted in the flagpoles and draped over rubble and walls here and there was striking, a sense of horror and guilt spreading through Erwin, knowing it was likely there were still civilians alive there, held captive by the enemy forces.

The signs of heavy battle were unmistakable; windows and walls were shattered, entire houses caved in and the walls were charred from gunpowder, even the trees bearing slashes from swords and spears.

Soldiers were patrolling the streets, but there were only a few of them scattered about, clearly Marley was not in the slightest bit worried that they would even think of attempting to retake the district from them. Just outside of the city’s limits was a scouting tower, though the lights inside were not lit and Erwin could not tell if the tower was manned at all.

Since Marley only occupied the towns in the southern districts, their plan was to simply sneak past their territory and reach the harbors some kilometers away from the Shiganshina district, the seaside towns still under Eldia’s control, currently mostly occupied by their Azumabito allies.

Along with Erwin and the people he had brought with him from Mitras like Hanji and the other Ackerman members, they also had more rations and gear to deliver to the eldian troops that had been stranded on the beaches just outside of Fort Slava for some months now, well before Erwin himself had even arrived back in Eldia. They would also bring in reinforcements, namely Miche and Flagon’s squadrons who would not only help them destroy Marley’s largest naval base and destroy their plans of isolating Eldia, but also to bring home the troops still left in Marley and… hopefully Levi, as well.

”So?” Hanji clapped Erwin’s back, interrupting his thoughts, ”should we get going?”

Miche walked towards them as well, giving Hanji a very dubious once-over. ”How are we going to get to the ports from here?”

Erwin glanced back over at the city beneath them. ”The districts are fully under Marley’s command, but the harbor is not. I’ll assume it has something to do with the Azumabito clan’s presence, likely Marley is not keen on moving against them at this time.”

Hanji and Miche nodded along, though Erwin was not sure if they followed his logic at all. ”Marley hasn’t been making any moves to take over the ports, it leaves me wondering but for now it will work in our favor.”

”Wondering about what?” Hanji questioned, leaning towards Erwin.

Erwin turned to face the two of them, his expression serious. ”It’s not impossible that Azumabito is playing this game for both teams, so to speak.”

At that, even Miche’s eyebrows shot up momentarily. ”You mean… Marley won’t move against Azumabito because they’re also working together?”

”It’s not impossible,” Erwin repeated, ”the Azumabito clan has interest with the Ackermans much more than anything else Eldia has to offer. They’re likely waiting to see which way the war will go before committing to either side.”

As he spoke, he glanced towards Hanji, who could recall their last conversation with Mikasa as well, about the claim that she had some ancestral ties to Azumabito. Frankly, had the situation been less tense, Erwin might’ve laughed at just how well everything truly did tie back to the Ackermans, just like the old king had warned him.

”In any case,” Erwin began again, ”it doesn’t seem that Marley is guarding this district that heavily, we should be able to sneak past with our gear and rations, though we’ll likely have to make multiple journeys due to our sheer numbers.”

Erwin pointed towards where the scouting tower stood in the near distance. ”There aren’t any lights in the tower nor can I see any movement from here, I don’t think Marley is expecting us to come this way.”

He let his hand drop back to his side, sighing. ”In any case, we should make it past the city just fine, the Azumabito clan is waiting for us at the harbor, ready to help us onto the ship.”

”And just how are we supposed to cross the sea and enter Marley without being gunned down?” Hanji immediately questioned.

Erwin turned to face them. ”There is a section of Marley’s beaches that is already under our control, there are eldian troops stationed there and we can enter that way just fine. They have already opened up a small waterway for us.”

Even Miche piped up then, turning to Hanji. ”They’ve been at a standstill just outside of Fort Slava for some months now, even the old king had tried to destroy the base there but it was no use, now the soldiers are just waiting around for a new plan to be set into motion.”

”That’s kind of grim,” Hanji said, grimacing, ”the king just left them there?”

”We’re hoping to get them all home as well.”

”Did you bring what we requested?” Miche asked, glancing towards the carts still strapped to the horses, the items inside covered by white sheets.

Hanji grinned. ”You won’t believe the stuff we have with us.”

The three of them walked to the nearest cart, Hanji lifting the cover slightly to show Miche a glimpse of what was underneath.

Erwin could see Miche’s eyebrows shooting up as he looked over the weaponry they had, sniffing the air and whistling lightly.

He turned to Hanji after, a small grin on his lips. ”I like you,” he said, Hanji and Erwin both chuckling at his words.

”Well,” Erwin said then, the three of them all turning to look over at the distant horizon, ”let’s get to work then.”

In the end it was not difficult to circle around the city, but Erwin knew he’d never forget the sight of the mass graves dug just beyond it, piled high with men and women bearing their uniforms, even if the color on their shoulders was not Erwin’s, he felt their deaths on his conscience all the same. Maybe I could have prevented this, he thought as Hanji ordered them all to cover their mouths and noses, the scent of the dead and the rotting of their flesh pungent in the air. How Erwin might’ve prevented it, he did not know, but the guilt was all the same in the end. His feelings of despair only worsened as he heard the stifled sobs from Nanaba and saw the way Miche gritted his teeth in frustration.

The Azumabito were at the harbor to greet them as well as their own soldiers and civilians still lingering in the city, reluctant to leave it behind. They greeted him as a king, even the Azumabito did as they led them to the ship already laying on the waves, ready for them to board.

The rain was worsening, the winds picking up. The breeze was cool and from the North, Erwin knew, howling and biting as if it was restless, urging them to go. Erwin thought of Levi, his sharp eyes and clever mouth, his very own north wind, and he took it all as a sign that he was doing right by Levi by setting sail to go to him, desperate as his decision had been.

There were other things he could’ve done, but his very soul was begging for him to go to where Levi was and in the end Erwin was helpless to resist. Levi had been gone too long, Erwin knew it should not have happened like this. And so he knew he needed to go to him, to bring him back.

Hanji wiped the rainwater from their forehead with the back of their hand as they stood on the ship’s deck, disrupting Erwin’s reverie. ”How are we ever going to make it all the way to Marley in this weather?”

It was Miche who responded, chuckling softly. ”You’ve been stuck in Mitras for too long, you seem to have forgotten: we’re an island nation. We’re much better sailors than those mainland rats will ever be.”

—

Their departure was swift, their eldian ship a thing of beauty, Miche crowing its praises, sleek and slim as it cut the sea like a sharp blade, riding low in the water, heavy with all the food and supplies they were transporting to their soldiers, not to mention weaponry and other such objects.

Erwin had been worried about the men stationed near Fort Slava before, Marley had been much more vigilant on their own shores especially after Levi’s disappearance and none of their ships had been able to make it near enough to deliver aid or gear to the soldiers there.

They had been slow to send help and Erwin could only hope there wouldn’t be a massacre or a mutiny waiting for them at the beaches.

Miche acted as if he could sense his troubles, clasping his shoulder as Erwin stood on the ship’s deck, gazing out at the relentless seas.

”They’ve held out this long, they can wait for a few days more,” he said, wanting to reassure Erwin.

He nodded, knowing Miche was right, but Erwin was worried nonetheless, keeping in mind that the news of Levi’s alleged treachery had likely reached the soldiers as well, probably having dealt a heavy blow to their morale. Not that they would’ve considered Levi a part of Eldia before, but having him ”switch sides” would still be treason all the same, though the irony of it all wasn’t lost on Erwin.

That night the weather was cool, the relentless north wind making it even more so, but none of them could feel it as the atmosphere on the ship was much warmer, everyone getting to know one another, exchanging stories and introductions. Erwin especially noted Hanji and Miche getting along well, but was also glad to see the other Ackerman clan members being warmly welcomed, previous prejudices all but forgotten.

The impending battle was far away from their minds as a fire was lit on the deck and they gathered around the warmth, surrounding the fire like little moths to a flame, people of Eldia who have never had a reason to cross paths before. Some ate their food silently, mouths chewing and eyes darting this way and that, observing, watching while others were heartily laughing and talking. Miche sniffed the air once as Nifa sat down beside him, the girl briefly looking comically harassed before letting it pass as Miche did nothing further.

Hanji was all but cackling, arms flailing as they gestured, Nanaba laughing at their story as it flowed through the air, winding around them all, pulling them closer together. Even Flagon had a few quips to share here and there, though after he spoke he always glanced around quickly as if he was scared someone might reprimand him for associating with the Ackerman creed.

For so long these people had been viewed as the enemy within their own homeland, on the very soil they had all lived and died on, growing up from womb to tomb just like anyone else, yet as soon as their sense of loyalty was no longer revered, Eldia had turned their backs on them, casting them aside. But surely there had once been a time when things had been different… Erwin thought back to the halls of the palace, decorated with the memories of each ruling monarch and something else that had perhaps once been there, before it had been brutally cleaved out, cut away like it never existed at all.

It reminded Erwin of a story his father had once told him in his youth, of a king and his knight whose kingdom had been besieged by the enemy. At first, the enemy was losing as the knight bravely fought them all away from their lands, though the enemy outnumbered the townspeople 10 to 1, still they were worn down by the knight’s skill in battle. Until one day when the king demanded too much of him that he refused to fight any further on his behalf. The king had grown too sure of himself, gloated too much over the knight’s prowess, egging the enemy on until even the knight grew weary. As soon as the knight refused to fight, the king quickly discovered that despite his gloating, he was soon losing. Even all of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men were no match at all to this one knight. And so he apologised, yet the knight would not hear him. It was not until the king begged him on his knees to fight again, despairing over dead friends and family, that the knight agreed. And he went down to the city, winning a mighty victory for his people, yet it was too late. Even though he had won, there was no celebration, for too many lives had been lost and the people blamed the knight for not sparing them all sooner, even though it had been the king who had lost the knight’s loyalty in the first place. The knight was only given hatred while all the gratitude belonged to the king, who had laid aside his pride and asked the knight to fight once more.

Erwin had not understood the story in his youth, demanding his father tell him what happened after the enemy was gone, yet he would always only shake his head, smiling as he ruffled Erwin’s hair, telling him he’d share the rest of the story when he’d be a little taller.

Yet now as he sat by the fire, eyes aflame as he watched the endless oceans around him, he could not help but think of Levi. Levi, who did everything he could for his people, even for strangers that needed his help, Levi who had seen his uncle die beside a king as his mother succumbed to an illness while he had only been a child. Levi, who had then been expected to do the same, to pledge his life and fight for a king who had not earned his loyalty. A king, who demanded too much of him in the name of his stubborn pride.

Though Erwin did not know how the story of the king and his knight ended, it was not all that difficult for him to imagine it. Grown as he was now, it was no challenge to see the history of their kingdom, his kingdom, reflected in that story. And just as well, Erwin felt as though he was drowning under the weight of his guilt, not wanting to be like the king in his father’s tale, ungrateful and greedy, and even though Levi had freely given him his loyalty, Erwin still felt that he did not deserve it, even as deeply as he craved it.

—

”Our king has returned!”

Erwin’s eyes were wide as he took in the scene of the eldian soldiers gathering in groups, flocking to the beach like birds, squawking and hawking as their ship was received after a few days' journey on the sea.

Erwin stepped forward on the gangplank, arm lifted in greeting as the soldiers screamed themselves hoarse. Though they had never met Erwin before, had never seen him, scarcely even knew his name with how badly messages carried between Eldia and these abandoned beaches, still they rejoiced all the same, clapping and cheering as he walked through the crowds of them, the soldiers clasping his hands and shoulders, any part of him at all that they could reach, as if he was Hope itself manifested in front of them, appearing in physical form like a God descended. They even began to chant his name, heads turning all along the beach to follow the path that he walked.

On either side of him walked Hanji and Miche, his most trusted comrades and a silent support to him as they made their way through the crowds and towards the section commander’s tent, the one who had been in charge of the soldiers there for all these months.

Erwin could see Nanaba and Flagon greeting their comrades, the many people they knew that had been stuck here, Erwin’s own eyes busy taking in the scenery. The beach was a secluded area, quite useful strategically as it was placed just beyond the range of Fort Slava that stood atop the hills in the near horizon, not to mention the rocky cliffs surrounding the waters working to keep any hostile ships at bay. It was why Eldia had had a hard time getting soldiers and supplies in and out of the area to begin with, the narrow passageway they had used this time the only way in and out of the beach, an almost secret way of entering Marley’s kingdom.

The banners that were hoisted all around the sandy beach were still the royal purple of the previous king, though the reinforcements Erwin had brought with him were quick to start passing around the new flags and the deep forest green Erwin had selected for himself was soon seen flying high above their heads, the men cheering as they saw the eldian insignia there.

A pathway was left open for Erwin, straight through the crowd to the main tent and he strode past the jostling soldiers, the crowd nothing but elbows and hands, Miche and Hanji having fallen a few steps behind him.

The section commander was waiting for them, an old and seasoned man, solid and broad-shouldered, his face tired and worn, betraying the decades he had spent serving the kings of Eldia. Erwin could not place his name, but he greeted him honorably as the section commander saluted him, as did the officers standing tall at his left and right.

”King Erwin,” he said as they shook hands, his voice deep and hoarse but no less respectful, Erwin thought he was perhaps the first man serving under him who was glad to see him, relieved that Erwin had come. He made no mention of how long it had taken for him to make the decision, nor did he make any insults towards Hanji or speak ill of Levi. Instead he greeted both Miche and Hanji with equal respect, before gesturing for them all to enter the tent standing behind him.

Once inside, the roaring from outside was dying down now that Erwin was no longer in their field of vision and the group could sigh and let their shoulders slump down, no longer feeling the pressure of all of those lives and high hopes.

”We’re eternally grateful that you decided to make the journey,” the section commander began, sitting down by the table that held many maps and battleplans, the documents old and worn as they were spread out this way and that on the mahogany surface, held down by rocks gathered from outside instead of the fancy weights Erwin was used to seeing at the palace.

”Slow as you were to come,” one of the other officers muttered, but was soon silenced by one scathing look from the commander, his back suddenly ramrod straight as he was all but stared down by him.

”We had thought ourselves abandoned due to Marley’s increased surveillance on these waters, and so the men were eager to fight to secure a passageway for you as soon as we received the news that you would come.”

Erwin inclined his head. ”It may seem drastic that I chose to come personally but I fear there isn’t much else to be done but to attack Marley directly and I’d rather see it through myself than send others in my stead.”

He could tell he had earned the respect of the section commander by coming himself; lesser kings might’ve rather stayed in the cool halls of the palace, watching from atop as others fought their battles for them. But Erwin had never been one to shy away from his responsibilities, and he had chosen the crown for himself in the end, despite the previous king’s plotting to get him there.

Erwin could have still walked away from it all, but that was not the type of man that he was.

”I am honoured to see this to the end with so many noble warriors from our kingdom,” he continued, and some cheers could even be heard from outside of the tent where the soldiers were clearly still celebrating his arrival.

The section commander nodded. ”Then let’s get to work, shall we gentlemen?”

They were nodding and some agreements could be heard before the commander continued, standing up and turning to the maps spread out before him. ”Before they send that Ackerman devil to kill us all.”

Erwin’s eyes flicked up to him, his stare cold and even cruel for a brief moment until he forced himself to blink it away. These men feared Levi and his reputation as well as his skills and try as Erwin might to convince them otherwise, to anyone who did not know Levi it did seem as though he had switched sides and betrayed them all. But Erwin, of course, knew better. As unsure as the situation was, the lack of information and communication making everything only more so, Erwin still did not falter in his utmost belief in Levi. He was not gone, he would come back to Erwin, of that he was sure.

—

Later, as Erwin stepped outside, the soldiers were already hard at work, officers barking commands here and there. The sun was still warm in Marley and Erwin found his head tilting towards the sky much without his say-so, the sunlight falling onto him gently, soothing his weary demeanor and casting playful shadows along the curves of his face. His eyes were closed as he took in a few deep breaths, letting the stress and haste of everything bleed through him, washing away in the cool breeze as it ruffled through his hair, ringing in his ears.

He squared his shoulders, opening his eyes once more to see the vast ocean and the distant horizon opening before him. They were here to win, that much was certain to Erwin, for if they did not, it would spell doom and disaster to all of Eldia. Erwin had no named successor yet, but in the case of his death he had left instructions for Marie to take over in his stead until a suitable replacement could be found.

It would not be the first time such a thing had happened in Eldia’s history, there had been a number of bloody takeovers, heirs assassinating kings or second-in-commands going after kings before heirs could ever be named at all. It was why most monarchs in their history had favored bloodlines, naming their own lineage as successors to avoid the hassle and drama of it all. Uri Reiss had tried to move away from it but Erwin’s predecessor had clearly still favored the idea of royal lineages if his plotting had been anything to go by.

Erwin sighed, turning his head to see Miche and Hanji exiting the tent as well.

”It almost seems too easy,” Miche remarked, still standing at attention like the weary soldier that he was.

Hanji nodded along but said nothing and they all turned to look as Isabel and Furlan found them quickly, the two of them making quite the pair as they scowled at Erwin with their arms crossed, looking so much like Levi in their mannerisms and the way that they moved that Erwin could feel a tug at his heart, a sharpness like a thorn or a prick of a needle.

”So? What’s the plan?”

Erwin opened his mouth, explaining in a hushed but clear tone. Their plan was as Miche had said; almost ludicrous in its simplicity. Fort Slava, the marleyan naval base they were situated beneath, was a stronghold not only for Marley’s marine but it was just as much a base for information and transportation, an incredibly important structure for the functions of the kingdom. It was placed in a very tricky terrain, making sure no ships nor armies could just march up to it and attack it and the very shores the eldians were now protected by worked just as well to make sure that none of their ships would ever be in range to attack the fort.

As such, their best bet was to send tactical groups of soldiers to first dismantle the long range weaponry placed around Fort Slava and then quietly and quickly work their way inside the base to deliver a lethal attack to Marley’s high command.

Such a plan was not only incredibly risky but also almost doomed to fail, were it not for the very reasons Erwin was going to attempt it anyway. Firstly, the ingenious inventions from Hanji would work greatly in their favor, the new weaponry and equipment something even Marley did not possess and secondly… Erwin’s voice faded out as he turned to gaze towards the cliffs and the mountains in the distance.

Levi Ackerman has been spotted at Fort Slava in Marley.

The words had been echoing around Erwin’s head ever since he first heard them, even now they rang through his mind with such clarity it was as though they were spoken to him for the first time.

It was a gamble, as Erwin’s plans often were, but if Levi was here… it could very well mean that even the marleyan king Zeke Yeager was here and if that was the case… Erwin knew this might be their only chance at securing a quick victory for Eldia.

Am I not yours to command?

It had been a gamble from the start, and things had not gone entirely according to Erwin’s plan in any case, but still there was nothing to be done about it but to see it through.

With Levi in mind, Erwin turned to face Furlan and Isabel. ”I’d still rather you two stay at camp and sit this mission out.”

As expected Isabel only huffed and Furlan shook his head, his expression calm yet sure. ”We’re doing this for Levi, we’re not staying behind.”

”Yeah! No matter what happens, Levi knows why we’re here,” Isabel affirmed.

Why are you here? But Erwin did not ask his question outloud, something thorny prickling about in his chest, squeezing around his heart like brambles, fiery and ugly as he thought of the different reasons why these two might have come here, for Levi as they so readily explained.

Erwin did not like to think of himself as a jealous man, but he could not help the feeling of it from taking root as he met Furlan’s gaze, knowing the other harbored feelings for Levi as well.

As if reading his mind, the shorter blond spoke. ”Levi likes to keep people at an arm’s length because he’s an Ackerman,” he said, a soft smile on his lips, ”but he was never like that with you.”

Erwin furrowed his brow, unsure suddenly as to what Furlan was talking about, what he meant. And how was that connected to the Ackermans as well?

He glanced over at Hanji as if to ask for clarification, but the scientist only shrugged as if they had no clue either.

”Those Ackermans sure are crazy, huh!”

Erwin shook his head with a sigh, chasing the convoluted feelings away. He needed to keep his head clear if he wanted to make it back in one piece.

”Ugh, can we stop with the boring talk already? I wanna go see the beach, it’s my first time outside of Eldia!”

Furlan silently tugged Isabel along with him and the rest of them followed as well, Erwin taking the time to greet the soldiers scattered about and to survey the equipment and armory they had, though his mind was already elsewhere, as it often was.

Incessantly, thoughts of Levi resurfaced as they walked, Isabel’s comment serving to remind Erwin of when he had first met Levi, of how the other had mentioned never having been outside of Eldia and of Erwin offering to take Levi with him on his travels.

His heart ached as he thought of it, his chest tight and prickling with guilt all the way to his belly, knowing he’d likely never get to travel with Levi like he had said, would scarcely be able to travel himself even. Having accepted the duty of a king, Erwin had forsaken his own dreams of freedom and of seeing the world, and with his own actions he hated to think he might’ve stolen the same liberty from Levi as well.

But even still, despite his fears and frustrations, Levi’s name carved in his heart as well as his mind served as a reminder for Erwin that there was still a goal, something for him to stride towards. He would not let the heartache and guilt drown him, as much as they were threatening to pull him under the waves entirely.

The breeze was cool as it carried over from the ocean, a brisk saltness in the air and the tents were flapping in the wind as they walked, the soldiers they passed chattering and laughing under the warm sun.

It struck Erwin suddenly, as he watched them all, how long it had been since he’d truly had Levi in his presence, felt his body standing beside his own, always so aware of the scant distance that separated them. It had been weeks now since Erwin had heard his voice, caught his scent lingering in the places he occupied, carrying in the breeze as he pushed past Erwin with a scowl, somehow always bumping into him even if there had been space to walk past him without touching at all.

Now all that was left for Erwin were the traces of Levi he could find in other people, the pieces of him that existed only in his memory and the easy way he could conjure Levi in his mind, he’d scarcely even need to close his eyes to be able to see Levi anywhere, walking beside him, standing far away, leaving and slamming the door shut after, his feet stomping as he went.

With a sigh Erwin shook his head, chasing away his distant reverie.

The sand was scalding under their feet and as much as they could, they ducked under trees to escape the heat of the sun. Wherever the group of them went, they were observed and watched, Hanji eagerly waving to those who did with a wide smile as Isabel marveled at the warmth of the fading summer, back in Eldia they had had scarcely nothing but autumn rain for the last days before they had departed. Erwin did not want to think of this being their last time seeing the sun, but he could not help his eyes as he took in these comrades of his, Furlan, Isabel and Nifa, even Hanji were all of them civilians, none trained for battle in any formal manner.

”Lord Erwin, come look at this!”

It was Nifa who had spoken, having broken off from their group and ran ahead to ”sightsee” with Isabel, now pointing towards a tree at the edge of the beach, beyond where their encampment reached.

Erwin walked up to her silently, noticing a carving on the bark of the tree. It was messy and errant, clearly made in a rush and recently as well.

It read:

Dies irae, dies illa
solvet saeclum in favilla

Erwin’s eyes were stuck on the carving, reading the words over and over, feeling the impending doom envelop him.

”What does it say?”

Despite knowing the answer, Erwin was not sure he had the heart to tell his comrades, his mind warring with indecision. However, before he could contemplate it much further, a voice piped up nearby, surprising them all with its clear and gentle cadence, despite the sudden gloom of everything else around them.

”It’s an old sequence, the language it's written in is not from around here,” the voice said. They all turned to look, seeing a young teen standing there, his stance a little hunched over and insecure, though his blue eyes were wide and earnest. He looked up at Erwin as the wind stirred up his blond hair.

”It says—”

”I know what it says,” Erwin interrupted him, perhaps a little too harshly, ”it doesn’t bear repeating now.”

”O-oh! Of course, I’m awfully sorry sir—!”

Erwin waved him off. ”You have nothing to apologise for.” He turned to fully face the blond youth. ”What’s your name, soldier?”

The boy straightened up, saluting him. ”Armin Arlert, sir!”

Erwin watched him with wide eyes, the boy looked so young, only around Mikasa’s age and despite knowing that people were recruited into the army early on in times of war, it still stunned Erwin to see someone so young and earnest in the military camp, someone who should’ve still been doing chores in their childhood home.

Though, Erwin himself had not been much older when he had left Eldia to travel the world, a child forced to grow up too soon and face the hardships of the world all alone. He could sympathize with Armin in that way and he hoped his plan would be a success and that they would all get to leave Marley’s sandy beaches behind soon.

The last bit of sun was blaring against the nape of Erwin’s neck by the time the day was drawing to a close and he was finally pulling apart the flaps to his own tent, finally afforded some semblance of peace and quiet, if only for a little while.

Of course he could still hear the other soldiers on the beach, talking and kicking up sand as they walked, stones being thrown against the surface of the ocean to see who could reach the farthest.

Erwin felt weary with tension, muscles aching and back strained from standing, sitting and walking around, not to mention his soul, bruised and disturbed still by the lack of Levi by his side, this man who had unsettled him down to his very core, his absence crawling in Erwin’s body like a snake, slithering and quiet.

Levi was as if possessing him, even as Erwin dressed down and settled on the bed, his breath lustful, he could think of nothing but his teeth in Levi, lips on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, licking away the sweat beading on his back.

This true and honest way in which he wanted Levi, the lust for him only recently discovered, was not so easily imagined however, but the brief flashes of Levi seated on his lap or spread out underneath him that he could picture were enough to drive him to madness, his chest heaving and breaths punching out of him in ragged gasps, the mere idea of a heated flush decorating the porcelain of Levi’s skin had Erwin groaning, eyes pinching shut as his want licked through him like a flame, his thoughts only kindling to feed it.

He could imagine Levi’s starlight eyes blown wide and dark like the night as he looked up at Erwin, stifling his sounds as they touched, the tips of his fingers tracing up and down the muscles that formed him, the dips of his bones, tongue darting out to taste at the scars that might’ve decorated him.

Levi was a warrior after all and he had always looked the part, stoic and fierce, but under him Erwin liked to think Levi would feel much softer, his flesh bending below Erwin’s hands and fingers, even blooming red if he desired to strike him. Levi was much smaller than him and it excited Erwin, the selfish and possessive side of him eager to have and to hold, to mould Levi against himself so they might never be separated again. He could trap Levi with his mere size, cage him underneath himself and the idea of it was intoxicating.

Erwin’s lips parted as he gasped at the direction his thoughts were taking, only he could not get much further before he was reminded of the fact that not only was Levi not his to have in that way, in any way at all, but he was also being kept in someone else’s possession, with someone else’s eyes roving over his features, gazing upon his face, someone else’s hand upon his skin, touching what Erwin had come to think of as his, even though it was not so… all of it it was much too soon becoming more than he could stand and he shuddered awake from his imaginings with a frustrated growl, sweat-soaked and the air in the tent suddenly felt oppressively warm.

He dragged his hand down his face then back up into his hair, carding his fingers through the blonde strands that were now much more sand colored than the sunshine hue they always seemed to hold in summertime. The sweaty strands fell over his blue eyes as he sat up, leaning against his spread knees.

He pulled on his coat as he stood up, making his way outside, eager for a breeze. There were no winds on the ocean however, the air thick and humid, offering Erwin no respite at all. The tents did not flap nor did the metal harnesses of their uniforms jingle, instead the night was utterly silent, even the ocean was still in the quietude, the waves as if having completely ceased from hitting against the shores.

Erwin could see a person sitting by the shoreline, watching the ever-distant horizon as if it might come closer if called upon enough.

He was walking towards this other person before he could consciously think to do so, soon recognising the person as Armin, and he stood beside him silently for a moment, the boy not turning to look who had come, his eyes fixed on the ocean.

”Do you think we’ll ever leave this place?” Armin asked, voice soft and dreamy, like a child’s. Erwin hated to think of the circumstances that had led someone so young to the military, and he longed to spare Armin from what was surely to come with the rising sun.

”I hope so,” he said honestly, and chuckled at the panicked expression on Armin’s face as he recognized his voice, hastily turning to face him so he might salute him properly.

Before he could do so, Erwin instead sat down beside him, waving him off. ”There’s no need for that, now,” he said, offering what he hoped would be a reassuring smile.

”Oh-okay,” Armin settled down again, hugging his knees against his chest anxiously.

”This is no place for any of us to die, so far away from home” Erwin continued as Armin chewed on his lips, deep in thought, ”and I sincerely hope we’ll all get to leave tomorrow.”

—

Bathed in the early morning sun Erwin could hear the squall of the birds flying overhead as they trekked up the grassy hills of Marley’s shores, boots hitting the ground in thumps that sent sand flying, eyes determined and hands gripping weapons tight.

With a simple hand signal from the commander they were splitting off into their respective groups, Erwin following Miche and Nanaba with Isabel and Furlan right beside him.

Their mission was simple; to dismantle Fort Slava’s long distance weaponry so they might take it out from the inside and deliver a blow to Marley’s vital infrastructure, delaying and possibly even stopping their plans of isolating and starving Eldia in the coming winter.

They had four groups for each of the four long distance weapons, placed in the cardinal directions all around Fort Slava. The rest of the soldiers were to either act as support in the case they were discovered and would need backup or alternatively they were to wait for the command to storm Fort Slava’s interior.

The grass was still wet from morning dew, the sun only lazily climbing up and over the hills as they went, quick and as silent as they could, eyes determined. The end of the war was suddenly in their line of sight and the anticipation of it was palpable in the air, thick with tension and sharp with static.

Erwin’s breaths were already shallow and swift, his brows furrowed in concentration as they neared the weaponry directed for them. They were armed with weapons as well as the equipment Hanji had invented, sharp tools with a metallic shine to them that Erwin had looked at with astonishment when Hanji had introduced them. The bigger weaponry they had brought was too heavy to be carried, instead it waited beyond the grassy hills, their backup watching over them under Hanji’s sharp attention and quick wit.

Anxiety was twisting inside of Erwin, coiling around in his chest, squeezing at his heart before dipping low in his belly, his eyes wide as he tried to take everything in, fearing he might miss something, knowing a single mishap might cost him his and his friends’ lives.

The silence was unnerving, Erwin able to hear Miche’s ragged breaths as he led them, gesturing with his hands in sharp movements, the thumps of their feet and the wind as it blew through the trees.

They stopped, Miche’s fist in the air as he glanced around and Erwin did as well, knowing they were close to their target already. They’d need to take their enemy by surprise, to not allow them to blow on their horns and notify the others of their intentions.

Despite being camped out on the beach, they still held the element of surprise as Marley had scarcely been watching them at all, instead content with the knowledge that they were stuck, starving and abandoned. Only that was no longer the case, and Erwin hoped it would be Marley’s doom.

In the end, it was quick.

Under Miche’s command, Isabel was poised and ready, a great shot trained by Levi himself, and she only needed to take four quick shots, one right after the other until the men guarding one of the long distance weapons were down, laying amid the grass as they choked and drowned in their own blood.

Erwin straightened up as Furlan got to work dismantling the weapon, directing Nanaba as Miche and Isabel kept watch. Erwin felt unsteady on his feet as he watched the marleyan soldiers die, thinking of the quickness at which Isabel had killed them, the way the blood had come quickly, how much of it there was.

”Erwin,” Miche hissed, forgetting his title but Erwin could never mind such a frivolity and with a deep breath he snapped himself out of it, focusing instead on guarding Furlan and Nanaba’s work, clutching his own weapon tighter, widening his stance.

It had been silent before, until suddenly it wasn’t anymore. A horn blew in the distance, signaling doom unto them all, letting them know that one of their groups had been discovered. And they could hear the marleyans well before they saw them, boasting, roaring and shouting like beasts as they advanced in a scattered charge, only a few groups of them posted near enough, weapons hoisted high and flags flowing in the wind.

They struck them with force, pushing past violently, leaving them hardly any time at all to react before they were on them already, shooting and striking them with the blunt ends of their guns if they got too close, the noise of their battle cries deafening.

Miche and Isabel reacted with quickness and Erwin alone was left to see as a bullet pierced right through Nanaba’s head, her body hitting the ground with a dull thud, eyes clouding over as she died.

In one moment she had been there, working alongside Furlan, and in the next she was gone.

A heavy numbness spread through Erwin like a fog, his limbs feeling like lead as he looked at her lifeless body, the way blood trickled from her head, mixing in with the sand underneath her, her short blonde hair swaying along with the grass in the wind.

”Erwin!” he could hear Furlan shouting and it took all of Erwin’s strength to merely wrench his head away from the sight in front of him, to look at Furlan as he shouted.

”Erwin, you need to help me!” Furlan managed over the sounds of the battle, snapping Erwin back to the present moment, moving quickly to grab the tools from Nanaba’s cold grasp, kneeling beside the other man to begin doing the work she had begun.

Isabel and Miche were working to keep the marleyans away from them, knocking them away, shooting as fast as they could, Erwin could hear their grunts and shouts as they battled.

”You guys need any help?” Erwin didn’t need to turn to recognize Flagon’s voice, his group joining them after apparently having finished with their own part already.

”Cover us!” Erwin shouted and didn’t turn to look to see Flagon nodding, directing his own soldiers to help Miche and Isabel.

”Shit,” Furlan muttered, Erwin peering at him from the corner of his eye, ”we got caught way too soon.”

Erwin shook his head. ”Hanji should be stepping in soon with those fancy new weapons, it’ll be alright.”

As if on cue, they could hear distant booms and the following screams of agony, even see the explosions from where they were stationed, and Erwin could feel himself marginally relaxing, knowing they now had Hanji and their group watching over them.

With Furlan and Erwin’s endeavors, it didn’t take them much longer to be able to dismantle the marleyan weaponry and as soon as Miche and Flagon had beaten the errant marleyans still attacking them back far enough, they could turn around and retreat slightly, regrouping and strategizing.

Miche was a soldier and he didn’t let his pain show, but as they paused to catch their breaths and to assess the situation anew, Erwin clasped his shoulder, wanting his friend to know that he recognized his loss.

”It was the first group, they were closest to us,” Flagon heaved, shaking his head, ”we were just about done with the help of that redhead Ackerman when the horn blew, only barely got out of there.”

Erwin patted his back as they straightened up, still catching their breaths, ”we’re glad you did, I’d hate to think what would’ve happened to us had you not been there to help.”

”Hey, we had it covered!” Isabel argued, huffing, ”you guys would be lost without us!”

Isabel was right and they all knew it, the Ackerman creed was an invaluable help and the only reason any part of their mission was even a possibility at all. Erwin could not help but feel pleased as he saw the looks on the other men’s faces, how none of them had even a single word or argument to say in their own defence.

”We need to get going though, only two of the weapons are down,” Miche said, bringing them all back to reality.

Erwin nodded, grasping his chin with his thumb as he thought about different approaches. ”The fourth group is closest to here, we should go there first and then circle around to group one.”

Then they ran, weapons clanging. Erwin’s breaths came thickly, the ground underneath them as if shaking from the distant tremors of soldiers still clashing all around, their feet kicking up sand and dust until it was hard for them to even see each other.

Erwin soon lost sight of Miche and Flagon, but he tried to focus on the rusty redness of Isabel’s hair as she ran slightly ahead of him, trying to keep her in his sight, a kind of protectiveness surging through him. He could hear Furlan’s heaving breaths on his other side, matching his own to them, trying to keep both of these people close.

”Erwin—” he could hear Furlan shouting beside him, suddenly tackling Erwin to the ground, both of their bodies slamming against the sandy earth, knocking the wind out of their lungs.

He could almost hear the bullet as it flew right past them and he turned his head to glance at Furlan, to show him his gratitude for saving his life. Only what he saw was his pale face as he spat out a mouthful of blood, bulelts lodged right in Furlan’s neck, piercing him clean through.

Then Isabel was screaming, howling, as loud as she could, kneeling beside them, clutching Furlan’s dying body right against her own, holding him close.

She was saying something to him, only Erwin could not tell what through the ringing in his ears. His and Furlan’s bodies falling down had kicked up a cloud of sand, but it would dissipate soon enough and then the marleyans would be on them.

Erwin pushed himself to sitting, his lungs desperately trying to get in air, chest heaving and vision blackening at the edges.

”Isabel…” he began, grabbing her shoulder only to be pushed away violently, the young girl snarling at him like an alley cat.

”Don’t touch me! We’re—” her voice was interrupted by another violent sob, her cries wracking through her body in shudders and ragged gasps.

”He’s…” she tried again, only could not, tears and snot dripping down her face, her features twisted in an ugly grimace.

”I know,” Erwin said, ”but we have to keep going, we cannot stay here.”

The dust was already beginning to settle, drifting in the air around them.

”You have to let him go, Izzy,” Erwin coaxed her, even using her nickname in an effort to soothe her. It seemed to work, as soon she was loosening her grip on Furlan’s body, his eyes already vacant and distant, looking at nothing at all.

”Close his eyes,” Erwin whispered, agonized, ”he’ll serve ungrateful kings no longer.”

And she did, with trembling fingers, letting Furlan’s body rest against the ground, face turned towards the sun. Her thumb brushed against the corner of his lips and down his cheek to his chin before she wrenched her hand away, standing up with a fury in her eyes that almost frightened Erwin to see.

They were off then, running side by side towards where Miche and Flagon had disappeared off to with the rest of their respective groups. Hopefully they had already managed to dismantle the third weapon with the help of the group already stationed there and moved on to the next. Erwin hoped he’d see no one at all at their destination but the dead corpses of marleyan soldiers with their red capes.

The sounds of battle were growing more distant, a kind of fear or perhaps dread settling deep into the pit of Erwin’s stomach as they neared the third weapon, with no sounds of battle to be heard.

Then, an echoing boom as if from a ship’s cannon, followed by an explosion in the distance. Once, twice, three times in quick succession and Erwin realized: the third weapon was still operational.

He harshly pulled Isabel to a stop, gripping her tight with his right arm. They had not yet been noticed, their feet having kicked up enough sand to cover them but only briefly.

Erwin’s quick mind was working to find a solution, somewhere for them to run, something for them to do before the person manning the third weapon would spot them and blow them to dust.

Only his thinking was cut short as the dust began to settle and his eyes caught on the devastation right beside their feet. He could see Flagon, cut in half with only strips of skin still holding his body together, his blood already drying, soaking up into the ground underneath him. And right beside him laid what Erwin could only imagine had once been his dear friend Miche, recognizable now only by his warm blonde hair and long arms, as everything else was utterly covered in dust and blood as well as the intestines of the soldiers laying dead around him.

Erwin could not think, could not breathe, his eyes stuck on the mop of Miche’s hair that he could still see, mouth gaping and body tensed like a prey animal’s. Distantly he could recognize the sound of the weapon whirring right before them, could hear Isabel shouting as she pushed him away, the look of determination in her eyes was clear right before the weapon fired, cutting her head clean off of her shoulders.

He fell down on the ground, knees first and then his head as he laid there on his back, an absolutely agonizing sort of pain flaring on his right side, though he had no strength in his body anymore to think more of it.

Erwin was sure he was dying, his red blood flowing freely, dripping in the sand, the ground below eagerly soaking it all up as if it was thirsty, as if it hungered.

As best as he could, he reached out and clutched at his mangled shoulder with the only arm he had left, the shock of it all not having passed through him yet, in his mind all he could think of was that he was dying, and that he’d never be able to find Levi again.

His bones would be left here, home yet still far away, and they’d never be able to find Levi’s, they’d never see each other again. Erwin was slowly crawling to his grave, but all he could think of was Levi. Where was he, what was he doing, what would he do if he ever found out Erwin had left him first?

The men were shouting all around, the battle still roaring, though all strength had left Erwin’s body, siphoned out by terror and the loss of blood. He turned his head as he dust settled around him and it was the last he could do.

In the throes of battle, Erwin still managed to see Levi walking towards him, calmly and with the poise and strength of a mighty warrior whose each and every step echoed unparalleled power.

He was surrounded by the floating sand kicked up by the bodies falling, by the soldiers still fighting, the scorching wind caressing his black hair, the grey of his eyes bright as he walked, like a God among men.

It felt as though the world slowed down around him, all sounds growing distant and muffled, as if Erwin was dead already, observing the world as if underwater, as if only half-alive.

And yet Levi walked towards him, a clear path parting around him, none brave enough to directly challenge the devil of the Ackerman clan. Levi’s clothes were clean, his skin colored only by the rays of sun and he looked so ethereal walking towards Erwin that he had half the mind to suspect that it was Death itself coming for him in the form of his love or else that it was Levi’s very soul coming to collect him, to lead him to whatever came thereafter.

As Levi neared him, Erwin gathered what little strength he still had and reached out to him, his palm outstretched, bloodied and dirtied.

”I have come to die with you, my king,” Levi said, solemn, kneeling beside Erwin’s bleeding and battered body, grasping his outstretched hand in his.

Erwin could only feel glad that his mind had still given him this, a final image of Levi, a gift at all times to be able to remember him, to have him near like this as he died. He breathed out deep, vision blurring, his own body feeling distant, as if his soul didn’t entirely manage to occupy it anymore, a pleasant numbness spreading through him to chase away the pain.

As a final gift before drifting away, he was allowed to feel this hallucination of Levi touching him, gathering him in his arms, carrying him away, and to what, Erwin did not know, but held near Levi like this, he’d let himself be taken anywhere

—

Chapter Text

The wind stirred Levi’s hair as he shuffled his feet there on the grass, looking up at Erwin. The breeze was cold but the sky was blue, like the ocean that Levi had never seen, like Erwin’s eyes, the color of hope.

”Erwin—” he began, looking up at him, their gazes meeting.

”Don’t,” Erwin interrupted him sternly, as if he knew what Levi was going to say.

Levi shot him an unimpressed look. ”Erwin,” he tried again, breathing deep, as if he was preparing himself, ”you know what needs to be done.”

Erwin could only look at him then, saying nothing. At length, he shook his head but could not even begin to deny what Levi was saying before the other spoke up again, interrupting his thoughts.

”I know that old king told you,” Levi continued, ”I know you know what it’ll take.”

Erwin ran his fingers through his hair, a frustrated sigh slipping from between his lips. Levi was right; he did know, had known for a while now, only…

”I do not know if I have the courage to ask for it,” Erwin admitted, gazing down at Levi. He was not sure if he had the courage to ask for it… or the will to demand it.

The shorter man stepped even closer, reaching out to touch.

”Let me go in your stead,” Levi said, making the decision for both of them, fingers tightly grasping the front of Erwin’s shirt, pleading like a child asking to go home at the end of a long day.

”Levi—”

”It’s not your place, you know this,” he continued, unheeding of Erwin’s interruption, ”but I’ll go, I’ll fight so you don’t have to.”

Levi stepped closer even still, all but pressing himself against Erwin.

”Ask it of me,” he said, the two of them somehow closer than ever before, breathing the same air, as if existing as one person entirely.

”Command me,” his voice was breathy, only a whisper between them.

”Levi, I—”

”Command me, Erwin, tell me to do it, tell me to go.”

”Levi…” Erwin was still hesitating, but Levi had already made up his mind. He leaned even closer, Erwin helpless against the pull of him and it had him swaying forward as if drunk on Levi’s mere presence. They were so close that when they breathed against each other, it almost felt like a kiss shared between them.

Their eyes met, the steel of Levi’s silver gaze steady while Erwin’s ocean blues were all but overflowing, indecision warring inside of him, tearing him asunder.

”Command me, Erwin,” he repeated, though the longer they stayed close like this, the further Erwin could feel his rational mind slipping from him, all thoughts scattering in Levi’s powerful orbit.

”Levi, you’re not—” Erwin opened and closed his mouth uselessly and with a huff and a quick roll of his eyes Levi then knelt in front of him, slowly and keeping his eyes firmly on Erwin’s, one knee on the ground, the other bent at a perfect angle, his back straight.

”Am I not yours to command?” Levi said, looking up at him.

Erwin looked down at him, his own color draped across his shoulders, the deep forest green and the image of it, of Levi’s complete submission, had Erwin shuddering where he stood.

A gasp escaped from between Erwin’s lips without his say-so, the position Levi had assumed was neat and perfect, exactly like it ought to be, back straight and all clean angles, as if he had practised it, as if it came to him naturally, from his very blood. It was a scene all those even mildly familiar with Eldia’s royalty knew, a king and his loyal man kneeling in front of him, pledging his life.

Only Erwin was not yet a king, there would be no covenant between them, the color on his shoulders was still only the Ackerman green and not the one Erwin had chosen for himself in his soul, but Levi was offering his life anyway, binding himself to Erwin, bending the knee like he had refused to do for anyone else. Erwin had never thought he’d see such a sight, that such a moment would ever come, but there he was anyway, looking down at a kneeling Levi Ackerman.

”Levi…” he began, steeling himself. He could never let a life like Levi's go to waste, not for anything. ”I need you to kill Zeke Yeager,” he stated simply, Levi’s gaze never lowering as he spoke, ”I command you to go to the Karanes district and do whatever it takes to take down their king and end this war once and for all and—”

Erwin took a shuddering breath, Levi waiting for him to finish patiently, his eyes never straying from him even once. ”And I command you to return to me, alive.”

After he finished, Levi nodded curtly, standing up and turning around to leave just like that, silent and devastatingly beautiful, without another word passing between them.

It was a conversation that was ringing through Levi’s mind now, echoing around the empty spaces in his body, haunting him, the bond in his soul aching and howling, despairing now that Erwin was not near him.

”Being silent won’t make things any easier for you, you know.”

Levi turned his head to see the man standing in the doorway, leaning against it with his long military coat unbuttoned, a lit cigarette held between his fingers. He was looking at Levi from over the rim of his glasses, observing him. Levi could not help the flare of nausea that rose up in him at the mere sight of him, the very fact that he was alive to stand there at all nothing but a stark reminder to Levi of his failure.

”You bastard.”

Zeke Yeager smirked. ”You flatter me.”

At length he pushed himself off of the wall, dropping his cigarette on the floor and snuffing it out with the toe of his boot, Levi grimacing as he watched him. He ran his fingers through his thick blond waves as he slowly walked over to where Levi was still chained to the wall.

The room was brightly lit, much too brightly for Levi’s tastes, the air smelling sharp and sterile, a little like the stench of rotten blood being poorly hidden under bitter cleaning solution. Levi’s nose itched with it, burning every time he inhaled, the smell alone enough to bring awful memories flooding back.

Zeke could clearly tell how it was affecting him if his small smirk was anything to go by, his posture leisurely as he stood some distance away from him, hands shoved into his pockets as his blue eyes took him in, calculating and cold.

”This must feel so familiar for you, Levi,” he chuckled, briefly looking around the room, ”though I’m sure this is much nicer than what they have over there in Eldia.”

Levi said nothing, his teeth bared in a snarl like a dog’s as Zeke teased him. The room was silent, save for the sound of Levi’s chains clinking against the stone floors with every movement he made.

As the silence stretched on, Zeke sighed as if he was disappointed Levi wasn’t playing along with him. ”Well, in any case, it is nice to finally meet you, Levi Ackerman.

”I’ve heard so much about you, so many history books in my collection it’s frankly astounding to see you in person.”

Levi glared at him, still saying nothing.

Zeke shuffled a bit on his feet, uncaring of the heavy silence hanging in the air all around them. ”I’m sure you thought I’d be dead by now, but I simply could not let this opportunity pass me by.”

He stepped a little closer, Levi debating if he should lunge at him.

”Of course, I know you and that pest of a strategist were planning to attack little ol’ me in the East, so naturally I didn’t even bother going, just spread some rumors around.

”You two jumped at it, of course you did, I’ve been smoking you out of that place for months now, frankly I thought you would’ve been overjoyed at the opportunity to leave that place behind and join me instead.”

Zeke paused, sighing, pushing his glasses further up along the bridge of his nose. ”Well, I got what I wanted in the end, doesn’t even matter if those Azumabito fools switch sides, they can have the other one.”

Levi’s gaze sharpened, snapping up to look right at the other man, knowing Zeke was talking about Mikasa now. It had never mattered as much to Levi if something happened to himself, but he’d always sworn to keep his little cousin safe, no matter what.

”Ah,” Zeke began, cataloguing Levi’s reaction, ”you care for her, of course you do. I had planned to get the both of you but frankly having two Ackermans in the same place would be a foolish mistake. That was the downfall of those eldians, I’ll say, they should never have kept you all locked up in the same place like that.”

Zeke crouched down to be eye level with Levi who was still sprawled on the cold floor, chains loose by his side, a decoration if nothing else.

”Come here, Levi,” the blond gestured at him, commanding him like a dog.

”Fuck off.”

Zeke tsked, wagging his finger at Levi as if he was nothing but an unruly child.

”You’re at my mercy now,” Zeke reminded him, ”so don’t test me.”

However it was becoming clear to him that Levi was not keen on playing along with him, instead content to keep his jaw clenched shut for as long as he could.

Though if it was one thing Zeke had at that moment, it was time, however what he didn’t have was the patience to go with it. ”You know,” he began as the minutes ticked by and Levi had still not spoken, ”that Erwin might’ve let you have your way every now and again but I am not like him.”

Zeke’s eyes darkened as he spoke next. ”With me, you’ll need to be a little more obedient.”

Levi turned his face to shoot him a scathing glare. ”Fuck. Off.”

Disappointment was evident in Zeke’s eyes, his entire face sagging from the boredom as his new toy didn’t want to play with him. ”Is that all you know how to say?”

Levi turned his head away briefly as if he was truly considering it before turning to face him again. ”Suck my dick, you shitface.”

With a sigh Zeke stood up, his finger nudging his glasses further up his nose. ”Right.”

Slowly he walked to the door, turning around briefly to address Levi one last time.

”You should remember, Levi, that you have nothing with which to bargain with me, however,” Zeke tipped his chin up at him, ”I, in turn, hold your very life in the palm of my hand.”

Erwin, he immediately knew, despairing. With a borderline inhuman howl Levi finally snapped, lunging at Zeke, though of course his chains only gave him so much leeway and he was forcibly wrenched to a violent stop before having even reached halfway across the room.

Zeke in turn laughed heartily as he left, clearly overjoyed at finally managing to get a reaction out of him.

”I’ll see you tomorrow, Levi! Sleep well.”

Then Levi was left alone, left staring at the door through which Zeke had disappeared, the room cold and silent, and worst of all familiar, just like Zeke had said.

Levi knew very well what the marleyans wanted with him, the very same thing everyone wanted from him, the ground under his feet making no difference. Eldia, Marley, Hizuru… they all wanted the famed Ackerman blood, to build their armies, to save their sick and elderly, to cure all the worries of humanity.

He scoffed, swallowing a bit of blood from his earlier injuries.

What they wanted was the least of Levi’s worries, he’d lived through it before and he could do it again, but what he could not stand were the threats Zeke continued to make against Erwin.

He was all but taunting Levi with his failures, his failure to fulfill the simple thing Erwin had asked of him, to kill Zeke and end the war by destroying their high command from the inside.

Instead Levi had been careless and let himself be fooled, for Zeke Yeager had never been in Karanes to begin with, had purposefully tricked Levi to get him to come, had baited him and taunted him, in the end catching him by surprise and dragging him all the way to Marley, far away from Erwin.

All this time of them trying to turn Eldia against him and his people, to get Levi to go and betray them all voluntarily, to forsake them all and leave them to die and none of it had worked, Levi had never once thought to leave, had never wanted to be the traitor they all saw him as. Never, not once. Because it was his country too, his loved ones lived there too.

And Erwin… a painful gasp escaped past Levi’s clenched teeth as he thought of the other man, one who couldn’t even begin to understand what Levi had offered him by kneeling, one who didn’t know what Levi had been through, what the Ackermans had been through, what Levi would have to experience all over again now that he had failed Erwin’s command.

Erwin…

His soul ached at the thought of the other man, the distance separating them only adding to his pain. Zeke clearly knew too much already, much too aware of the power Erwin held over Levi, of how Zeke in turn might be able to utilize that bond against them both.

Levi tsked. He’d been careless, letting Erwin get that close, or perhaps there had never been any helping it at all.

He had tried to keep people at an arm’s length, fearing what he’d seen in his uncle, the devastation of what had seemed like a curse to him at the time, the monster in his uncle’s body that had made him run a sword through his chest as easy as anything, only longing showing on his face at all.

For his entire life Levi had thought it would never be him, that he’d never let the curse take him, that he’d never want to feel that way about someone, to love and miss a person enough to kill himself for.

And even still, he did not entirely understand what exactly Erwin had done to him. It was dangerous, he knew, even then Levi was laying wide awake with his eyes fixed on the ceiling above, desperate for just one second more in Erwin’s presence, his skin brushing against Levi’s as they worked together, the warmth of him tangible as they walked side by side.

And in Erwin’s presence the curse hardly even felt like a curse at all. With Erwin, Levi had been able to understand what it was meant to be, not a rope or a chain tying them together but a choice, a bond, something living between the two of them, something they both wanted and nurtured, in their own separate ways.

Though… Levi sighed, thinking of Erwin, of how unlikely it would be that he would ever care for Levi like Levi cared for him. That he’d ever want to be near him in that way, to suffer Levi like he’d have to if they fully gave themselves into it all.

Erwin saw him as a friend at best, Levi knew this, his wanting like a serpent crawling inside of his body, this way and that, despairing and starving for attention, eating him up from the inside out, but Levi had already accepted that it would not be like that between them, that Erwin would never be his to keep.

And even more than that, Levi wasn’t stupid, he had seen easily what the king had been planning, setting up Erwin and the woman, Marie, like they were nothing more than chess pieces on his board, moving along to his commands.

And he’d accept it, if that’s what Erwin wanted. He’d do anything at all that Erwin asked of him, and despite the heartbreak and agony it would cause him, this would be no different. He’d be fine, even if Erwin didn’t want him anymore, didn’t need him anymore, had no use for him anymore.

Still Levi felt so needy, thinking about it. About how much he craved being Erwin’s, how deeply he wanted it, all along the bottom of his soul he needed it. Without being his, Levi felt like he was nothing more than dry ground, cracked and licked by lightning, scorched and burned, torn apart with nothing but ashes stirring in the wind.

Despite all the people in his life, there was just something special about Erwin and even his soul knew it too, if the stupid bond was anything to go by.

Because of it though, it felt agonizing to Levi, to think that Erwin might not be satiated with him, might not want him by his side. He felt like nothing more than a stone cold, empty well when Erwin didn’t want him, like the abandoned stray dog the entire world saw him as.

Have I not… given you enough? that serpent of a bond whispered in his mind, thinking that perhaps Levi had not simply done enough yet, that he hadn’t proven himself worthy, hadn’t offered his neck for his blade readily enough, hadn’t kneeled prettily enough.

Not enough, not enough, not enough—

And it hurt. It hurt so immensely, deep in the marrow of his bones and in between every pulse of his heart he was hurting, aching like it was all his body knew how to do, as if he breathed it, bled it.

The rejection was gut wrenching, the most palpable heartbreak that left Levi gasping for air, his chest constricting from the lack of it, his mind dizzy and eyes wide as he slumped there on the cold floors.

Erwin did not want him like Levi did and though he could rationally accept it, his body and soul did not agree, unable to let go of even a single aspect of Erwin.

With a jolt, Levi realized. This is what it’ll be like, he thought. Without him, it will hurt like this all the time. Everything would be grey and dead, his mind, his soul, his eyes, and everywhere would hurt all of the time.

The enemy was going to kill Erwin now that Levi was not there to protect him or else Erwin would choose that woman and marry her and Levi would be left alone in any case, abandoned and forgotten. He would be left here in this foreign country, all alone and he’d never be home again, he’d never see his family again, would never see Erwin again. And he had never even thought to say goodbye.

He curled up there on the cold floor, clenching his eyes shut.

”I miss you,” Levi whispered, the words quiet and vulnerable as they escaped past his lips, only barely able to admit the truth of his feelings. His teeth were tightly clenched as if he had fought against them quite bravely. I’d rather kill myself than miss anything like this ever again.

He could see how the covenant had come to be, for if he was to lose Erwin he already knew he would not be far behind.

—

”Ah, how I pity that Erwin,” Zeke laughed the next morning, ”he had no idea what he had when he had you in his grip.”

Levi couldn’t move, could scarcely speak. His eyes were vacant, empty and tired, his spirit vanquished in the face of his heartbreak and he hadn’t fought back as the nurses sedated him, rendered him immobile.

His mind was not only haunting him with the images of Erwin and the sight of him turning his back to Levi, abandoning him now that he had failed, now that he was useless and unable to fulfill a simple command but also the images of the darkness from his childhood, of his mother’s scarred arms and gaunt cheeks, the haunted look in his uncle’s eyes, the feel of Mikasa’s small hand in his as he dragged her forward and up the stairs, so, so many stairs it had felt like a never ending climb to young Levi.

”L-Levi!”

”Take my hand! Mikasa!”

”I can’t anymore, it’s too high—!”

”Just hold on, I’ll get you out of here!”

He could remember it all so clearly, the memories vivid in his mind, ravaging him until his very spirit was destroyed, leaving him malleable as the nurses poked him with needles, drawing blood until he was dizzy, his vision swimming and blackening around the edges, then they were turning him on his stomach, more needles in his back, they even took strands of his hair and pulled out some of his nails.

Levi’s heartbeat was the only thing still rapidly fighting, rabbiting in his chest out of fear and fury both, only the hospital atmosphere haunted him, his eyes looking down at his arms, covered in small scars and now even more would be added there.

He could remember Erwin having stared at them, Levi was sure the sight of them was sickening, even more so if Erwin knew where they had come from. Not from weapons or honorable battles but from this defeat and helplessness that threatened to swallow Levi even now, pulling him under the relentless waves like heavy weights strapped to his ankles. A fear he was learning he had never been free of at all in the end.

Soon Zeke returned to his side, though Levi did not raise his eyes to meet him.

”Can you guess where he is right now?”

Levi gritted his teeth. ”I do not need to guess where he is, I know where he is.” I can feel it, but Levi knew better than to say so outloud.

Zeke had been plaguing Levi with his incessant questions all morning, never giving him respite. It was clear he knew a great deal about Ackermans, probably even more than Erwin, he even seemed to know about the bond tying Levi and Erwin’s souls together.

Infuriatingly, it seemed that even if Levi tried to keep as much to himself as he could, it felt as though Zeke heard his thoughts nonetheless. His eyes lit up, lips pulling into an earnest smile as he leaned closer to Levi. ”So it is true? The Ackerman bond?” he whistled to show his appreciation before continuing, ”I thought the texts were surely lying.”

Levi shot him an incredulous look, one eyebrow raised.

”What?” Zeke pouted, ”I’ve been studying the lot of you for a while, after all there’s no one here to assassinate me for doing so!”

Levi turned his face away again, wincing as one of the nurses cut out a piece of the skin on his arm.

Zeke frowned, grasping his chin with hand as if in deep thought. ”Though, I do wonder… does esteemed king Erwin know about this little bond of yours? No? Hmm, pity that…”

He had been doing that a lot, calling Erwin a king, though Levi knew he was only doing it to get a reaction out of him. He hadn’t been there, by Erwin’s side, he’d abandoned him when he needed him the most, his one purpose as an Ackerman was to be there for his king and he had not, because he had failed him.

Erwin asked me, Levi thought, his heart lurching in his chest, he asked me for this one simple thing… why couldn’t I do it?

”Well, in any case,” Zeke prattled on, though Levi scarcely had the presence of mind to hear him, ”I’ll keep you here for my own benefit, these chains must feel like home to you by now, huh Levi? Much nicer than working for those eldian fools.”

He reached out, caressing Levi’s pale cheek with the side of his finger like one might do to a beloved pet. ”You’ll stay here with me, safe and sound, helping Marley for a change, won’t you Levi? Thanks to you, there’ll be no more illness here, no more hurt. Our soldiers will become stronger, maybe soon we can start the breeding program too, how does that sound?”

Levi said nothing, his mind empty, eyes vacant. I failed, the only thought rattling around his brain, this one thing he asked of me and I botched it.

Zeke grasped his chin with his fingers, looking at Levi.

The nausea flared up again.

I deserve this.

—

Locked up as he was, there was no true way for Levi to measure the passage of time. He knew days then weeks went by as Zeke visited him every day, him and his medical staff doing experiments on Levi, taking samples, this and that, all things that were unfortunately familiar to Levi.

His body was riddled with aches and hurts, yet none of it compared to the pain in his heart and his mind.

He had failed Erwin, and he knew he didn’t deserve to be saved, didn’t deserve to return to Eldia, back to his family.

”Now, Levi, did I tell you; I’ve found quite a lot of information about this bond of yours,” Zeke began one day, as if it was the highlight of his morning to see Levi, his voice soft and deep, ”I know it’s making you sad right now, but I have developed a little theory I’d like to test out with you, isn’t that exciting?”

Only barely Levi managed to flit his eyes up to meet Zeke’s gaze, somehow kind despite the torture he had been inflicting unto Levi for weeks on end now.

”I believe the bond can be severed, then if that succeeded you’d never have to think about that Erwin ever again!”

Levi’s mouth twitched, eyebrows furrowing. ”Wha—” he croaked out before interrupting himself with a rattling cough.

It was news to Levi, the thought that the bond could be severed. Never had he heard of such a thought, not even from his uncle or mother, both of whom were relatively knowledgeable in Ackerman history. Levi had always considered the bond to be largely involuntary, manifesting where it willed, when it wanted.

Though Levi would never claim to be an expert in the subject, after all not that much was known about the bond, especially after the culling of their kin, generations of knowledge had been lost there, in the darkness and on those endless stairs.

It felt impossible, what Zeke was claiming. Levi could only weakly shake his head, eyes wide from fright. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t, it couldn’t, it—

The mere thought of it was agonizing, the thought of half of his soul being ripped apart of his body, only shards of it left behind. Even if Levi despaired over his own failure, despaired over not being good enough, not useful enough, of Erwin not wanting him, still—

If he should ever be let go… it would not be like this.

You’ll never be enough.

Levi blinked, inhaling sharply. That’s right, he remembered, it’s what my uncle told me, about the king and his knight.

”They’ll always ask you for more and more, always asking ’what will you give?’ and you can only answer with, ’what haven’t I given you already?’”

Levi tossed the rock that sat in his small hand, watching as it plunged into the lake. ”What did the knight do then?” he had asked, ”did he fight for the king?”

Kenny had been quiet for a moment before scoffing, his voice rough and deep, ”yeah, he fought.”

Levi had furrowed his brow, ”why? I thought the knight hated the king?”

But Kenny had only shaken his head, expression unreadable, eyes looking at something Levi could not yet see. ”No… the knight loved the king, that’s the worst part.”

He had poked Levi’s forehead, right between his eyebrows. ”So you remember that, huh, Levi? You never fall for one of those kings or else I’ll surely come to haunt your nightmares!”

Levi had only grimaced as children were wont to do when faced with the topic of love. ”I won’t, that’s gross.”

His mother had laughed then, having been listening on the sidelines, hanging laundry by the lake. ”Tell him how the story ends then, Kenny dear.”

His uncle had grumbled, a stem of hay between his gritted teeth. Levi had looked up at him, grey eyes wide. ”How does it end, uncle Kenny?”

”Go ask your mother, since she wants to talk about it so much,” he had settled on in the end, Kuchel’s laughter ringing in the air. Levi had all but run to her, hanging from her skirts.

”Mom, how does it end?”

She had kneeled with a fond smile, ruffling Levi’s hair. ”’If you ever loved me, let me go.’”

Levi blinked, ”huh? What does that mean, mom?”

She cupped his cheek, ”it’s what the knight asked from the king, after he defeated the enemy. The bond they shared was fundamental, in their souls and blood, and it couldn’t be undone, not for anything.

”But the knight was hurt, for the king had only stood by as the knight had broken all their bones, bled so much, torn off their skin and still the king wanted the knight to kneel again and again.”

Levi grumbled, ”that’s not nice. What happened then?”

”’Have mercy, after everything I have given you, if you ever loved me, then let me go,’ the knight asked, only the king still looked down at the knight, saying ’I’ll let you go, only if you can let me go.’”

”Mom, I don’t understand…”

Kuchel combed his hair back away from his eyes, carding her fingers softly through his hair, ”it means, that you have to remember Levi, the bonds we have are choices, they cannot be forced upon you. The knight loved the king too much that even after everything, they couldn’t bear to make the choice to let go and to leave but instead they had to ask the king to command them once more, asking the king to let them go, but the king knew the knight wouldn’t ever be free unless they made the choice by themself.”

A choice. It was a choice after all, was it not? Levi had chosen Erwin, his soul had recognized him, deep along the crevices of his body and the spaces between his bones he had seen him, understood him, the two of them tied together.

It had perhaps been chance that they had met at all, but being with Erwin was something Levi had willed himself, a choice he had made intentionally. It had never been something that had been forced onto him, instead they had chosen each other—

Each other? Levi interrupted his own musings, inhaling sharply.

Surely not… no, it was Levi who had cursed Erwin with his presence, his wanting, Levi who had bound himself to Erwin and even if he could not find it in himself to regret it, not for anything, he still felt bad that he had riddled Erwin with this burden, his feelings and his company all things that Erwin did not want. Erwin hadn’t chosen him, Levi told himself, because Levi wasn’t good enough. Levi had failed him, he was sure Erwin hated him for it, for ruining his plans.

”Though I do wonder…” Zeke mused, looking thoughtful, ”when I hurt you like this, do you think he feels it too?”

Levi looked up at Zeke, seeing how he was watching him, observing him.

”All this power he has over you, and he won’t even use it,” Zeke shook his head, eyes never leaving Levi’s.

But Levi knew Erwin wasn’t like all the others who wanted to use him like he was a mere tool, as if he was worth nothing else. Erwin wouldn’t, he would never.

—

The darkness was what Levi remembered. For the first so many years of his life, he had never seen the sun. It was always dark and everything hurt, the gnawing hunger, the medicines, the needles, the bruises and and and— the list felt endless. Everything hurt, and it was always dark.

Still, to Levi, the worst part had always been the dirt.

Everything was stained with a layer of dirt and grime, even the clean hospital rooms and the laboratories they at least tried to scrub clean were still dirty and bloody underneath all of that cleaning solution, stained beyond saving.

Levi had felt much like that as well, that no matter how hard he’d scrub at his skin, no matter how much soap he used or how much time he spent washing his hands, he was still stained, still dirty. It was a different kind of hurt, one that didn’t show. Levi was dirty inside and all around where his intestines sat, deep in the crevices of his body.

Even after everything, he always feared that the dirt would still show. That if others looked at him, they’d see how bad and awful he was, ruined beyond measure. That they’d see the scars on his body and know what had been done to him, that they’d sneer and gag out of disgust, never wanting to have anything to do with him. He couldn’t imagine anyone finding him appealing or attractive, beautiful was not something that ever even crossed his mind. He was instead dirty and awful, all the way down to his cells and the bones that made him, his flesh and muscle never clean no matter how hard he tried.

And so, sitting there, held captive in Marley, did indeed feel quite familiar just like Zeke had promised it would, but not in a good way. There was no sun, no light, the gnawing pain of hunger was back, something Levi had forgotten the feel of, when your body began to eat away at itself, destroying from the inside out. And the dirt was still the worst part, that much never changed.

His breathing was laboured from exhaustion, eyes sunken, cheeks hollow. He could barely lift his head to watch as Zeke came to see him again, just like he did every day, the only way for Levi to measure time at all.

Zeke leaned against the doorframe, smoking. His eyes were trained on the floor. ”Come with me, Levi.”

Levi only stared at him in response, rattling his chains in a show of his sassy attitude that apparently never managed to leave him, no matter how bad things got. Zeke only gestured towards someone and then another person appeared from the hallway, holding ancient looking iron keys, hesitantly walking towards Levi, looking between him and Zeke as he slowly crossed the room to where Levi was.

”He doesn’t bite, do you Levi?”

Levi bared his teeth in a snarl just to show that he might. Zeke chuckled, watching Levi intently as he smoked, the guard kneeling by Levi, unlocking his chains. Then, Levi was haphazardly washed by nurses, his skin scrubbed here and there, hair combed and clothes changed. He couldn’t help but frown at the marleyan garb, the colors of his enemy draped over him.

Zeke was clearly pleased to see him, gesturing for Levi to come to his side.

They walked through the hallways, the first time Levi was outside of the medical facility while conscious and he took the time to observe his surroundings, noting that contrary to what he had believed, they seemed to be at a military base instead of the palace, only soldiers and other such staff present there.

Levi tried to keep track of the winding paths that they walked, the twists and turns, though the exhaustion was making it much harder. It was no wonder Zeke considered it safe to drag him along without his chains, he had been starving him for weeks and clearly thought that Levi was in no shape to fight back or to attempt anything. Little did he know, the barrier was much more mental than physical, Levi’s own despondent state of mind rendering him docile.

They paused here and there whenever they came across more high ranking officers, Zeke taking the time to show Levi off like a well trained dog, leaving him feeling as though the next time Levi was allowed such freedom, he’d have to pay for it by crawling on all fours like an animal. Levi could tell there were some politics at play, with Zeke making the effort to show how he had seemingly trained Levi, reminding him awfully of the old king in Eldia who likely would’ve done something quite smiliar if he could’ve.

Once outside, the marleyan sun was bearing down on Levi as if summer never left at all, the heat searing and the wind ringing through his ears, the light blinding, causing Levi to squint and to lift his arm to cover his face.

Zeke was already walking ahead, the guards following them pushing Levi along as well, giving him no pause or respite. Though as soon as his eyes adjusted once more to the light, he was utterly unable to avert his gaze from the scene spreading out before him, just beyond his reach.

Levi looked at the blue ocean in the distance, a sparkling blue color the spread out so far and wide, never ending and roaring as it moved, waves hitting the shores relentlessly, but all Levi could see were Erwin’s eyes, the blue shade of them one that haunted all of his dreams even then, the color of hope, of freedom.

His soul ached in his body, yearning, longing, begging to be allowed back by Erwin’s side. He needed him so badly, despairingly, looking over at the ocean that separated them, feeling strangely invigorated. If only he could cross it, he could see Erwin again, if only—

With a jolt, Levi was pulled back from his musings, realizing Zeke and the officers who had accompanied him were talking about something, though Levi had missed the beginning of their conversation.

The officer directly beside Zeke spoke, his tone inquiring. ”Should we send a group to dispose of them, my lord?”

Zeke grumbled. ”Those damn rats,” he said, Levi listening to the two of them more intently now. He had no knowledge of who they were talking about, having never kneeled to the king meant that Levi had also been absent from all strategy meetings. From Zeke’s tone he could guess the group they were referring to were eldians, but why they were there, Levi did not know.

At length, Zeke sighed, putting out his cigarette. ”There’s no need.”

”My lord?”

”They’re stuck, they can’t get rations in, which they barely even have on the mainland and they definitely can’t start an invasion here. They’ll starve like rats in a barrel, eating each other until just one is left.”

The man at his side nodded along to his words with owlish eyes, as if he was some genius strategist. Levi suppressed the urge to gag.

”Leave them be and they’ll be gone in a few weeks.”

”As you say, my lord.”

Zeke leaned forward, his hands on the thick stone railing, at length he turned to look at Levi again. ”You like what you see?”

Levi said nothing, barely reacting at all whenever Zeke spoke to him these days.

”You should speak with me, Levi, don’t you even want to know how Erwin is doing?”

At that, Levi turned to look at him, meeting his gaze.

Zeke pouted. ”It hurts me greatly, Levi, that you only react whenever I say another man’s name.”

Some of the officers laughed at Zeke’s words, Levi wasn’t sure if they understood they were laughing at Zeke more than Levi.

He was not sure what Zeke was hoping to accomplish by dragging Levi around what he had come to realize was some sort of military fortress, but he did know that Zeke had not succeeded, if anything the vivid reminder of Erwin breathed new life into Levi, piece by piece building back his fighting spirit that he had lost in the face of his failure, but the mere sight of the ocean had been enough to remind Levi that there was a goal, Erwin was not yet gone, Eldia had not yet lost and Levi could fight. He could fight his way back to him, no matter how daunting and impossible such a task felt with the entire ocean separating them, but he could try.

He was an Ackerman, he had been born to fight. It was what he was made for, it was what he was good at.

Even as Zeke locked him back up much later, Levi’s grey eyes shone with a steely determination that he would not give up. These people would not break him, he would not let them. He’d give his all for the chance to be reunited with Erwin, even if nothing awaited him back home but unsurmountable amounts of heartbreak, he would still do it.

—

When his chance came, Levi could feel the change in the very air itself. The entire fortress was thick with tension, Levi could hear people scurrying about, their hurried steps echoing around the halls. No one came to see him like they usually did, his entire body was still hurting from the wounds inflicted unto him, the exhaustion and starvation as well, but his eyes were afire, sharp as he waited.

Levi knew that in his obsession, Zeke would not be able to leave him behind, come what may, he’d gone so far, done so much to acquire Levi in his possession, there was no way he would abandon him here.

It was perhaps a gamble, a habit Levi had picked up from Erwin, though strategies and games like this were never his strong suit like they were for the blond.

And still, soon enough, his gamble paid off as Zeke rushed in through the door, haggard and messy, eyes filled with fury as he crossed the room in a few large strides.

”He’s here, can you feel it Levi?”

As his words registered, Levi’s breathing grew laboured, his eyes wide, and Zeke laughed, maniacal. ”What the hell did you do?!”

Zeke slapped Levi across the face a few times, shuddering with poorly concealed anger. Levi could barely feel the sting of the pain, instead of hurt he felt invigorated, alive.

He’s here.

Zeke picked Levi up by the front of his shirt, shaking him. ”You called him here, didn’t you? You damned animal! How did you do it?! Was it that cursed bond? Huh? Answer me!”

Yet Levi could only look at him, life trickling back into his eyes, his soul awakening after so long.

Erwin.

He came for me.

Levi opened his mouth uselessly, limp in Zeke’s hold, though there was color in his cheeks again, his breathing steadying.

At length Zeke calmed down, slowly lowering Levi, letting him slump back on the floor on his hands and knees.

”Well,” he began, adjusting his shirt as if his outburst hadn’t happened at all, ”it’s no matter. We’ll kill him just the same, he saved us the trouble of making the journey ourselves, at least.”

Levi’s eyes snapped up to meet Zeke’s, the foreign king visibly surprised by the look of him now, alive again, hopelessness bleeding out of him in bursts, replaced instead by determination.

”Even if you kill him, you should still remember that I am his avenger,” Levi said, spitting the words like poison from between his clenched teeth.

”Avenger? Don’t make me laugh now, Levi. If anything, I’ll wait until he storms this place and I’ll slit your throat right before his eyes!”

In the end, it all should’ve perhaps felt much more significant than it did. But Levi was an Ackerman, a fighter, a warrior, even if he had forgotten it for a time. In the end, it was easy.

Zeke was careless, like men were. He had thought he had broken Levi, killed his spirit, in his haste to taunt Levi and to drag him somewhere so he might kill him, he got too close and Levi, despite being unarmed, was able to lunge at him like a viper, fast and deadly, arms wrapping around his neck, twisting swiftly.

The man screamed, though as his bones crunched sickeningly, neck snapping, the echo of his rage was cut short, briefly only ragged gasps punching out of his lungs before he fell utterly silent.

Levi was not done with him however, never letting go for even a single moment, his muscles taut and veins bulging as he continued to twist and twist, one hand on Zeke’s jaw and the other around his neck and with a near inhuman growl he was able to pull his entire head off from his shoulders, the point of severance jagged and the blood warm as it spurted onto him.

He was breathing deep, the stench of blood heavy in the air, all he could smell, and still his lungs were drawing in air as if he’d been drowning, his eyes wild as he looked around.

With fumbling fingers he was able to reach for the keys hanging from Zeke’s belt and at last Levi had freed himself, standing up, his legs, his arms, his back all covered in countless injuries, his body weak from the trials he had been forced to endure and yet he had emerged victorious nonetheless, he was an Ackerman after all, something Zeke had perhaps forgotten in his haste and greed.

Holding the bastard’s head by a fistful of his thick blond hair, an expression of pure fear forever etched into king Zeke’s features, Levi made his way out of the fortress and through the battlefield, guns and cannons alike blazing all around him, the sand under his feet scorching and the sunlight harsh in his grey eyes.

He could scarcely see where he went, yet his feet guided him nonetheless towards his goal, steps sure and steady.

He had not been sure what Zeke had meant by saying that Erwin had come, it had not been a lie when the man had said that Eldia could not begin an invasion of Marley with the strength that they had, the country barely able to hold their own on their own soil. Yet as he walked through the battlefield, he could see eldians there, their uniforms familiar to him, though instead of the purple he had seen before, they were wearing green, akin to the color of the Ackermans.

Erwin, he knew, a shuddering breath leaving him at the revelation. Perhaps he had not been forgotten at all in the way that he had feared all this time.

Then suddenly, near his feet, he saw him. Though it was not who he had expected to see at all.

Furlan.

He opened his mouth, his eyes wide in shock, his feet faltering, yet before he could even fully begin to process the magnitude of his loss — what was he doing here? he thought — he could hear screams near him, men approaching, eldians, none that Levi could recognize.

”Is that… ?”

”—the Ackerman devil!”

They were running towards him, sand drifting in the air and stinging Levi’s eyes as he tore his gaze away from his dearest friend, watching the men as they approached him.

He was unarmed and the men neared him hesitantly, clearly unsure as to what they should do, unaware of whose side Levi was on, but since Levi had not made a move to attack them, they felt relatively safe to approach him in the end, the blood on him masking the uniform he was wearing.

”Mh-mister Ackerman?”

Levi turned his body to face them fully, the head held in his right fist swinging with the movement. It caught the attention of the soldiers, one by one their eyes shifted to see what Levi was holding.

”… is… that—?”

”Where’s Erwin?” Levi demanded, ignoring the stunned looks the soldiers were giving him, ”where is king Erwin?”

Despite their collective shock, one of the men managed to open his mouth, but he needn’t say a single word as Levi already felt it. His body was suddenly doused cold like plunging into icy waters during wintertime, with tremors shooting up and down his spine, his muscles flexing, limbs shaking. He was sweating suddenly, as if overcome by fever, his breathing deep and raspy, vision swimming and mind reeling.

Erwin.

He knew something must’ve happened, he knew Erwin must’ve been in terrible danger. One of the soldiers pointed offhandedly somewhere in the distance, yet it was not needed, Levi’s feet already carrying him to where he knew Erwin was.

He dropped Zeke’s head by the soldier’s feet and left without saying another word, not stopping to watch as the severed head rolled on the sandy ground. They did not chase him, and no one else approached him either.

The ground under his feet was soaked in blood, damp in more places than not, the sand colored red and black. Bodies were littered all around and though distantly Levi knew the fighting was not yet over, his mind was singlehandedly focused on only one thing, one destination, one goal. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

He could only barely separate the eldians from marleyans as he walked, the falling sand obscuring his vision and their uniforms were tattered, the only thing telling them apart was the hesitation each eldian showed, much more familiar with the Ackermans and equally as unaware of which side Levi stood on. They did not want to challenge him in any case, much less so if he was an ally. Marleyans however held no such fears, for they knew Levi was not on their side.

Levi was unarmed and they saw him as an easy target. Tales of the Ackermans were not as famed here, not within the common people. They did not know who Levi was, not truly. They did not know of the violence that was molded into his muscles, the grace of his feet as he walked, the hawk-like vision of his eyes. Some approached him, their guns poised, but it didn’t take much for Levi to kill them.

He’d duck, then swing his leg out to trip them, disarming, aiming and shooting. He had not much practice with guns, his uncle had taught him the basics, but they were not Levi’s weapon of choice. Still it was all too easy, his gaze cold and unfeeling. He did not pause to see the men bleed, their skulls split to show their brains. He carried on, walking, a numbness spreading through him.

Soon, he thought, I’ll find him soon and we’ll go home to Eldia, my king, wait for me. But he could not feel it, somehow. The serpent inside of him was twisting and twisting, everything around him shattering into pieces, as if an infinity was separating each blink of his eyes.

He could’ve counted every individual step that he took on that marleyan soil, the last few moments of merciful numbness that he would think about later, until his eyes caught onto locks of golden tousled hair on the ground, darker than Levi remembered, clothes stained with blood, blood, blood, so much of it and where was it coming from?

Levi’s breath caught in his throat, lodged, his feet faltering, knees wobbling. Yet before he could make it towards his king, his leg hit something else, a rock perhaps, bringing him to a sudden stop. His eyes dropped down, struggling to understand what he was seeing.

A… head?

The face was stained with blood and dirt, sand in the eyes, obscuring their color yet Levi would’ve recognized that shade of green anywhere.

Isabel.

Her mop of red hair was tangled and stained, pulled into pigtails and not the braids Levi used to decorate her hair with when she had been younger, her mouth open and eyes wide and unseeing, dull and lifeless. Her body was right beside her, a strip of skin still connecting them, Levi could see it from the corner of his eye, recognizing the eldian uniform, but his mind was struggling to understand what she was doing there.

He had thought they were safe, both of them, back in Eldia. That they would follow him here had not been a fear he had considered, he had not thought to be scared he might lose them like this. The grief did not reach him yet, his loss not processing in his mind.

With great difficulty and more strength than Levi thought he possessed, he was able to wrench his head away from her lifeless face, seeing Erwin some distance away, eyes open, his hand outstretched.

And he understood. Because Erwin was here, they had come, thinking Levi could survive the loss of them, no matter how much it would hurt, but he would not survive the loss of him. Had it been Erwin’s severed head that greeted him, Levi was not sure if anything could’ve kept him from slashing his own throat right then as well.

He stepped forward, towards him.

”I have come to die with you, my king,” he said as he knelt beside Erwin, holding his hand, intertwining their fingers, gripping him tightly. Erwin’s eyes fluttered, fingers twitching, his body still warm with life, despite the pool of blood he was lying in. His right shoulder was mangled, arm shot off by the marleyan weapons.

The words felt easy to say, their meaning deep. Never before had Levi felt their bond so vividly, so starkly. It was like a living thing now, not existing only within Levi himself but in all the space that separated them, perhaps even in Erwin himself.

He was Erwin’s, he had knelt before him and he was his, until his very last day. It felt right, correct, his soul settling inside of his body as if laying to rest, Levi finally back by his king’s side where he was meant to be.

All this time Erwin had been his king, and he was still his king, even now. Even into death Levi would follow him, even into hell.

The submission was easy, Levi did not need to fight it, instead it came to him naturally, from his very blood. This was Erwin, the best of men, and Levi’s chosen king even long before the heavy crown had ever graced his golden hair.

Whatever awaited them at the shores of this foreign land, they would face it together.

Levi’s own body was bloodied and bruised, showing the marks of torture that he had endured, starvation and humiliation that Zeke had put him through, yet none of it mattered in that moment as Levi reached out with strength that felt endless in that moment, infinite, and gathered Erwin onto his back, his remaining arm slung over Levi’s shoulder, head resting on the other, his hands grasping the backs of Erwin’s thighs.

And he walked.

Levi’s body was swaying, faltering under the weight of Erwin’s body, the man taller and more muscular than Levi himself, outweighing him easily. Levi was all but dwarfed underneath him, knees buckling, yet step by step he walked forward.

His body felt as though he was crushed by a thousand rocks, the pain was unbearable, all around him, yet there was no choice for Levi but to bear it. He gritted his teeth, never stopping to even take a full breath.

He could not see the way, could scarcely tell where he ought to go, he only knew he needed to carry Erwin to safety or they’d both die there. This was the choice Levi had made, one that he would never let himself regret even for a moment. Even if Erwin would not accept him, might never love Levi like Levi loved him, he would still not regret it. He was Erwin’s, through and through, a bond between them that could not be severed.

—

Chapter Text

Doubt, Levi was finding, was incredibly difficult to rid oneself of, once it had been let inside. Never mind how Levi had chosen Erwin, holding onto no regrets at all, willing to follow him even into hell if he was asked to, the story of the king and his knight was ringing through Levi’s mind even still.

Have I not given you enough?

Yet still he knew that he would not ever be able to let go of Erwin, not for anything, but even after all that Levi had done, it felt to him as though Erwin might not recognise it, just like the kings before. He had wanted to think Erwin was different, but what did he know? Maybe all this time he had been blinded by his growing bond to the other man and had not taken the time to look at him properly without it. Maybe he’d been too trusting and naivé for believing in the other man as surely as he had, without any second thoughts at all.

You’re not enough, not enough, not enough, not—

Levi wrenched his eyes shut to stop his spiraling thoughts, scowling, arms crossed across his chest as he sat in the infirmary, the window beside him open, the curtains swaying in the sweet Autumn breeze. The sun was shining, yet it was cold, as if all the warmth had been zapped from the world.

He breathed deep, inhaling, exhaling, trying to calm his unsteady heart. On the bed that he was sitting beside, lay Erwin. Clean and bandaged, still unconscious but alive. Levi sighed. At least he was still alive.

He could remember only bits and pieces of it himself, of him carrying Erwin, the two of them eventually reaching where Hanji had been with the weaponry, holding the line, who’d been shocked beyond measure to see the two of them emerge from amid the dust and smoke.

And most of all…

Levi turned to look at Erwin’s sleeping form on the bed, keeping his eyes on his face only, not yet wanting to face what had happened to his king when he hadn’t been there to protect him, because of his failure.

The multitude of heavy feelings were swirling inside of his chest like a maelstrom, weighing him down and Levi felt so unsure now in Erwin’s presence once more, as if standing on uneven ground and he hadn’t felt that way in so long, never since losing his uncle when he’d finally had to grow up and begin leading the clan and there had never been a moment since for him to have any doubts at all.

But then he’d met Erwin and everything had been so different, the other man like a guiding light for Levi, he’d been able to lean on him and he’d been sure of his place in Erwin’s life, his role as an Ackerman to be by his side, disregarding his feelings to keep Erwin safe, to serve him, protect him but now… he’d almost lost him, and he still might lose him, although in a different way this time.

He was standing on uneven ground, not at all sure anymore if he’d be wanted, permitted to be beside Erwin like his bond demanded, like his soul begged to be allowed to. He had failed after all, cost them all so much, Erwin and himself both, even though he had managed to kill Zeke in the end, Erwin might still never trust him with anything ever again.

Levi swallowed, his throat tight and head heavy, an ache already building behind his closed eyelids.

Yet what he feared the most was for Erwin to open his eyes, and look upon him with disappointment, hurt and betrayal.

Erwin hadn’t awoken even once since they’d left Marley and arrived back to Eldia, Hanji having been treating him day and night until they could get him to the palace physicians. The scientist had tried to treat Levi as well, but he’d only waved them off. They’d only recently arrived to the castle, Levi still stubbornly staying by Erwin’s side.

Levi looked down at Erwin, suddenly gasping as he was greeted with the sight of the other’s bright blue eyes, like the ocean he had seen for the first time when he’d been gone, the color that had reminded him there was a cause for him to fight for.

”Erwin—” he breathed, in disbelief still, leaning forward in such a rush it had his vision blackening at the edges.

The other man looked right at him, a faint smile pulling at the edges of his lips, unbearably tender. He tried to move his arm as well, palm up, towards Levi.

Levi’ heart was beating so fast he could hear its rabbitting thumps all the way in his ears, his blood rushing to his head.

What will he say? Does he hate me now? Will he tell me to leave? Will he disparage me for my failure? Many different fears and scenarios were playing out in Levi’s mind, one right after the other, his eyes flicking across Erwin’s face to try and gauge his reaction.

”Levi…” Erwin sighed, clearly still only partly coherent.

He leaned closer still, ”Erwin…”

”… Thank you,” his eyes were only barely open, something held there that had Levi’s breath stuttering, something he didn’t dare name, ”and I’m sorry.”

Levi gasped near inaudibly, reaching out hesitantly to gather Erwin’s outstretched hand in his, grasping him tightly, cherishing the feel of his warm skin against his own.

”Erwin… I—”

He could scarcely believe it. He had expected so many things, feared the worst yet even in his wildest dreams he had not thought that Erwin might thank him, might consider Levi’s mission a success despite how long it had taken him, how he had only barely managed it at all.

He wanted to beat himself up for having dared to think so badly of Erwin, as if the other could ever be like the kings before him. This was Erwin, of course he wouldn’t be so cold and ruthless towards him, of course—

Outside the door he could hear a commotion, likely the doctors rushing in to treat Erwin now that they were all back, multiple people talking, probably Hanji relaying their previous treatment to the palace physicians.

The door opened, though Levi did not turn around to look.

”—as you can see, miss Marie, he’s in quite good health—”

Upon hearing that name, Levi froze like an animal caught by a hunter, eyes wide, heart thundering in his chest. Slowly he managed to turn his head, looking over his shoulder to see her standing there equally as surprised to see Levi as he was to see her, the doctor behind her in the hallway, trying to peer over her shoulder to see why she had paused.

”Oh,” she said, looking right at Levi, ”Mr Ackerman, how are you? I heard I have you to thank for keeping my Erwin company during your journey over!”

Levi could not say anything, opening and closing his mouth uselessly like a fish, though he hastily let go of Erwin’s hand as though it burned, gulping as he continued to stare at her.

She stood there in the doorway, radiant even under the shitty lighting of the infirmary, her long hair cascading over her shoulder, cheeks flushed and full lips parted with her eyes wide in mild surprise, perfect in every conceivable way and Levi could see it in his mind with such clarity, the plan the old king had had for his kingdom. He could see Erwin as the king in all of his glory, beloved by the people with Marie by his side, adorned in finery and with her belly round, holding their beautiful blond blue-eyed children, with Levi being nothing more than an Ackerman dog, used for all he was worth, like he was good for nothing else, commanded and belittled, eventually silently locked back away into the darkness or maybe used for those trade deals with Hizuru and Marley, to boost Eldia’s economy.

Levi knew the old king had been unable to do anything else except bet his whole life on someone else to continue in his stead, he knew because his uncle had told him of the deal he had made, the deal he had expected Levi to continue with the next king and the next, for as long as he could.

But then Erwin…

Levi shook himself out of his stupor, interrupting his own thoughts. He stood up slowly, his chair scraping against the floors as it was pushed out of the way and without a single word, he walked out.

Because who was Levi, to Erwin? Nothing. He was absolutely nothing, despite everything he had done for Erwin, everything he had given and sacrificed, he was still absolutely nothing to the other man. He had kneeled, yes, but Erwin hadn’t been king then. His sacrifices had meant absolutely nothing, had amounted to absolutely nothing.

And Levi had known it, had known that Erwin would never be his to keep. He’d always just be Erwin’s little pet to command, nothing more, and he wouldn’t get to keep a single aspect of Erwin to himself at all, everything he’d have to give up to the world.

He’d always been selfless to a fault, always trusting people, always having faith in them despite the world never having ever given him a single goddamn reason to do so. And this time as well he’d be left behind, left alone, he’d never be enough, not for anyone, never mind the trust and faith he had shown Erwin and all the things he had given him, sacrificed for him.

And he had thought he could bear it, the heartbreak of losing Erwin once and for all, the painful finality of having to finally give him up to the world. He had thought it would be just like any loss in his life that he’d have to simply come to terms with, after all he had lost so much in his life already that the sorrow and grief were constant companions to him, living close by his side, never leaving him for long at all.

But Levi was rapidly discovering in that infirmary that he was absolutely not prepared to bear the grief of losing Erwin. He was stumbling on his two feet, still engulfed in pain from everything he had endured and now this profound heartbreak that emerged from deep within his soul, his very bones and all the cells that formed him were as if howling in agony, crying and screaming as loud as they could, tearing him asunder from the inside out, painful like rats clawing their way out of his chest and lungs.

It tore through Levi like a scream might, though from between his gritted teeth not a single sound slipped out as he stumbled out of that room and spilled into the hallway, right into Hanji’s waiting arms, his vision already blackening, mind swimming as his consciousness slipped away from him.

And Levi had never known neither pain nor fear like he did in that moment, fear mostly that he’d be left behind to love Erwin forever, silently, only for the two of them to never be in the same room ever again.

As Levi left, Marie watched him go, stepping aside to let him pass, the doctors equally not saying anything as he left.

”Marie, is that… you?” Erwin asked, his mind fuzzy, hand still warm where Levi had touched him, though he had left before Erwin could even think to open his mouth to say something.

Marie had been stuck looking at the door as it closed in her face, but upon hearing Erwin address her, she shook her head, walking further into the room and sitting down in the chair beside Erwin’s bed that Levi had occupied only moments prior.

”Hi,” she smiled at him, though the tense line of her shoulders betrayed her tumultuous emotions, ”how are you feeling?”

Erwin was gaining coherence by the moment, though the world around him still felt hazy. ”I’m feeling as well as one would expect.”

With the help from the doctor he was able to sit up, his brows furrowed still as he tried to recall what had happened. He remembered the explosions, the sand and the smoke and the blood and—

He glanced at his right arm, bandaged now but still quite clearly missing. The pain was diluted, clearly the work of some effective medicines, but it was still blurring in the distance, clawing its way to him. The shock of the loss as well was sure to set in at some point. In the moment Erwin could scarcely do anything else but stare at the side of him where a huge part was now missing and try to reconcile his mind to accept it as well.

”Is Levi alright?”

Marie huffed. ”You’ve lost your arm and you’re still asking after someone else? Erwin, you still haven’t changed.”

Erwin looked to the door through which Levi had disappeared, as if he could will him to return to him. He’d been without him for what felt like an eternity in its own right and he was helpless to deny his want to have the other man by his side again, as close to him as possible.

”That Levi never left your side I hear,” Marie commented off-handedly, though Erwin was not sure who she had spoken with to gain such information, ”even denied his own treatment so he could sit by you, day and night.”

Erwin opened his mouth, only could not utter a single word before he could hear Hanji yelling Levi’s name from the other side of the door, and without a single conscious thought about it, Erwin was already pushing himself up and off the bed, stumbling towards the door despite his grave injuries.

”Erwin!”

”Your majesty—”

But he did not hear their objections in his haste to reunite with Levi, pulling open the door only to come face to face with the sight of Levi splayed on the floor of the hallway, clearly unconscious, with Moblit and Hanji by his side.

”Levi…” he breathed, though he was scarcely more than a step outside of the room before Hanji was up and on him, furious like Erwin had never seen them before.

”You!”

”Hanji— is Levi alright, what’s happening?”

Erwin was still dizzy, his mind bleary and his body throbbing with pain yet it all felt so distant, his eyes only able to focus on Levi, his mind urging him to go to him, to push Hanji away and pull Levi into his embrace.

”You have some nerve asking me that!”

”Hanji—”

”After everything I did, everything he did, you have the gall to—”

”What— what did you— what did he do?”

It was then that Hanji shoved him, angry and hurt. ”He was the one who pulled you from that bloody wreckage, from the mountain of corpses! He was covered in wounds from torture, Erwin! Torture! They starved him and beat him, yet he still carried you back!”

The guards lining the halls advanced immediately, flocking near Erwin as he stumbled slightly, hand raised to his chest where Hanji had pushed him.

Yet Erwin could scarcely do anything but stare at Hanji, mouth agape. He had thought he hallucinated Levi, couldn’t believe he’d actually come back for him, saved him and carried him.

Hanji all but snarled, shoving Erwin again, fists pounding against his chest. ”He brought you home! You were unconscious this whole time, but he never left your side, not even for a moment! He refused treatment so we could give all of the medicine to you!”

They gave him another harsh shove and Erwin gasped in shock, but Hanji only carried on. ”He was completely drained, Erwin. He couldn’t do anything but carry you on his back and walk across the battlefield, it’s a miracle he didn’t die!”

Hanji took a shuddering breath, lips trembling, eyes bright with unshed tears from days’ worth of frustration and grief. ”And you’ve seen the maps, you were there. You know how long the way was. And he walked all the way from the fortress back behind our lines, a trail of blood behind him.”

”I…” but there was hardly anything Erwin could’ve said. He closed his eyes and he could almost see, there under the beaming sunlight, amidst the shifting sand, Levi carrying Erwin on his back, blood dripping from between his gritted teeth, his skin ashen from a lack of food and sunlight, blue and purple from violence, his eyes dull and lifeless and still he’d carry on, not stopping for a moment, scarcely even able to breathe from the pain of it all, from the exhaustion.

I have come to die with you, my king.

Erwin had thought he had hallucinated it, imagined Levi coming for him. Never had he thought such words could ever be uttered by Levi’s godlike lips, a sweet admission of loyalty and belonging that Erwin couldn’t have ever even dreamed of on his own. But it was clear Levi had meant every word, that on some level he had been sure they’d die there together. Erwin thought of the kings and their knights, of him and Levi.

The other man had always seemed so distant to Erwin, so unreachable. Erwin was left wondering if he had ever known Levi at all. He shook his head at the thought, his hand raised, pressing against his temple.

”How did he…”

”You know, I wondered the same. When I saw him approaching, I was sure I’d gone mad! Surely I was seeing things. But he really is an Ackerman after all.”

With a final shove, Hanji backed off, though only slightly. There was commotion in the hallway, the guards advancing, surrounding Erwin, pointing their weapons towards Hanji and the others.

”They’re attacking the king!”

Hanji barely heard them, looking Erwin directly in his eyes as they all but growled at him. ”You’re no king of mine. You’re nothing but a fucking coward.”

Erwin paled, but there was hardly anything he could’ve said to them in that moment, Hanji standing in front of their people like an attack dog poised to fight, with Moblit kneeling on the floor beside Levi, gathering him in his arms. Though the colors on their shoulders were close to Erwin’s own, the insignia was still different. In the end, these were not his people and the divide between their clans had never before been so clear to Erwin.

He raised his chin, signaling with his hand for the guards to lower their weapons. ”Let them go.”

Marie was standing some ways behind him, her worried presence palpable to Erwin.

”Where will you even take him? He needs to go to a hospital!” she exclaimed, peering from behind Erwin.

”No hospitals!” both Hanji and Erwin shouted, sharing one look between them before Hanji turned their back and left without another word, Moblit walking beside them with Levi draped across his arms. The sight of it had something ugly flaring to life inside Erwin, slithering in his chest cavity, squeezing at his heart before settling in the pit of his belly like a stone.

But there was nothing for him to do but grit his teeth and watch them go, he held no power over them, had perhaps lost whatever loyalty he had managed to garner, destroyed any goodwill there had still been left.

—

Guilt had been a constant companion to Erwin in the aftermath of everything that had happened. He could not help but remember Marie’s words, doubting if he truly could withstand it all, the weight of lives lost and relationships shattered, dreams unfulfilled and futures destroyed. The weight of all of it lay on his shoulders, the heaviest weight of them all being Levi.

I will not promise to die beside a king I do not believe in.

Levi’s words shuddered through Erwin, leaving him shivering, though he did not feel cold. Quite the contrary, his body almost grew heated the more he thought about Levi, about his submission to Erwin, how he deemed himself as belonging to Erwin. It almost felt as though Erwin’s need to possess and to take was mirrored in Levi’s need to be kept, to be taken.

I have come to die with you, my king.

Yet how could Erwin ever let himself want such a thing? To claim Levi, after everything he had made him do, after everything he had endured? For weeks Levi had suffered because of Erwin’s commands to him, because he had believed in him and Erwin had failed him. He could not help but echo Hanji’s sentiments, knowing he could atone for a thousand lifetimes and never deserve a single ounce of Levi’s good soul and trusting heart.

He wanted to shatter under all of it, to do so would be the easiest thing in his life, but just as well he knew if he did fall now, then he’d never get back up again. He could only push forward on the path that he had chosen, even if it led him straight to hell, even if he’d have to walk it alone.

His return to Eldia had been celebrated, a hero’s return, yet Erwin had not been able to feel the warmth of it at all. His bleeding conscience kept him cold and frozen like the ground in winter, isolated and alone.

Even then, on his way to the palace, Erwin found himself pausing in the courtyard, watching as the soldiers marched past, saluting him as they went, with the dogs still barking in their kennels and horses kicking up sand, a sense of melancholy and guilt washing over him and he could not help but feel the heavy absence of his friends, these people who had followed him, believed in him, laid their hopes in him and in the end had died for him.

He stood there, taking in many full breaths of air, breathing the crisp air deeply, feeling the grief as it surged through him in rough tides, letting it fill in the crevices of his body down to the pit of his stomach and the hollow spaces in his chest until the water was nothing more but gentle lapping of waves against the sandy beaches of his heart, aching yet calm.

It would not leave him, this loss was much too profound, but it would be something for him to live with, like a broken bone that would eventually heal over but would still ache when it rained.

At length Erwin shook his head and walked on, having horrified his doctors when he had insisted on being allowed to get back to work despite still healing from everything he had been through.

But Erwin’s mind at all times was full of Levi, which reminded him there was a goal for him to work towards.

During many lengthy council meetings Erwin had been filled in on the things that had happened in his absence. The representatives of noble clans and the different offices had led the country, the final word on decisions belonging to Marie as the ward of the kings. She had been absent from the meetings now that Erwin was back, having thanked him for not dying and passing the throne to her as she had hardly been able to stand the work and pressure of it.

”—and thanks to the heroic efforts in the battle with Marley, their forces are much more scattered now, our soldiers having disposed of Zeke Yeager along with the rest of Marley’s high command.”

Erwin’s eyes flicked up to the officer who had spoken, the man’s eyes glued to the report in his hand, not noticing how the king himself was all but glaring at him.

”Levi Ackerman.”

The man paused, finally meeting Erwin’s gaze.

”P-pardon?”

”Levi Ackerman disposed of Zeke Yeager and Marley’s high command on his own.”

”R-right, of course, my lord.”

Erwin lifted his chin at the officer. ”Please amend your records to match the true chain of events.”

”… my lord,” the man bowed his head, stepping away from the table now that his presentation was over, hiding behind his commanding officer to avoid the wrath of Erwin’s gaze.

There was a brief silence, the air dripping with tension, before another officer stepped up, hands slightly shaking as she clutched the papers in her hand.

”Your majesty,” she addressed Erwin, ”we have reports from the situation with our allies, uhm, it seems to be that now that Zeke Yeager has been killed, they are abandoning their alliances with Marley and are wanting to strike deals with Eldia instead, offering to help with rations and dealing with the remaining marleyan troops still on our soil.”

Had he been a lesser man, Erwin would’ve scoffed and rolled his eyes then, at the laughable transparency in the actions of the other nations. They had all been so sure that Marley would win, that Levi would abandon Eldia and join Zeke Yeager instead, all of them wanting to get ahold of whatever it was that Marley wanted out of the Ackermans. Only Hizuru and the Azumabito clan had stayed their hand, hesitating since one Ackerman still remained in Eldia.

Erwin was well aware that the Azumabito clan had been playing the game on both sides, keen on working with Eldia for as long as Levi and Mikasa both had been in Eldia’s possession, but as soon as rumors spread that Levi had switched sides, so had the Azumabito clan tried to back out of their agreements with Eldia.

It had been made clear to Erwin that the Azumabito clan had only worked with them to gain an audience with Mikasa, in the hopes that they could get her to leave with them. Whatever ancestral ties they claimed Mikasa held to their country clearly hadn’t been enough to get her to leave her people behind and the Azumabito clan had become afraid that they would lose all of their opportunities to gain her allegiance in the face of Marley’s growing threat. After all, should Marley have succeeded in beginning a full ground invasion of Eldia, all would’ve been lost to them and they would’ve had to join the other nations in begging for Marley to share Levi.

Erwin shook his head, motioning for the officer to continue her report.

”The marleyan presence is still heavy in the Southern districts as well as in the East, and it is imperative that we begin planning on how to salvage those areas before the marleyan troops stationed there start to vandalize and destroy the surrounding areas.”

Erwin nodded, grasping his chin with his hand, ”yes, it seems that now that Marley is officially losing this war, they are likely to fully abandon their troops stationed here, instead of risking a naval battle should they begin sending more ships to collect their soldiers. Do we have any reports regarding the ships that surrounded Eldia in an attempt to isolate us?”

”Uh, yes! Your majesty—” a youthful voice spoke, Erwin turning towards it to see a familiar face emerging from the crowd, offering a report in his hands to his commanding officer.

”Armin Arlert?” he could scarcely believe it, that this young boy had survived the mission and made it back home, back to Eldia, despite everything.

His team leader was pushing the boy hastily forward as soon as Erwin addressed him, likely sensing a way to get an in with the king, insisting suddenly that Armin stand near the front, right beside himself.

Armin seemed surprised to be recognized so easily, his bright eyes wide as he looked up at Erwin. ”Y-yes, it’s me, your majesty!”

Erwin could not help but smile sincerely, some part of him knocking into place with the knowledge that this young and hopeful boy had survived those horrors. ”I’m glad to see you alive, Armin,” he said, meaning every word, and gestured for the boy to present his report, ”please continue.”

Armin straightened up, much more determined now, ”yes, sir!” He gathered his report and there was a light in his eyes as he spoke next, detailing the situation with the marleyan ships and troops still on Eldia’s territory.

Erwin nodded along as he spoke, ”and what do you suggest?”

The boy shot him a surprised look, blue eyes wide. ”My lord?”

Erwin said nothing, only kept looking at him expectantly even as the higher ranking officers shuffled on their feet with unease, restlessly mumbling as Erwin gave the spotlight to such a young and inexperienced soldier.

”Uhm,” Armin furrowed his brow in thought, grasping his chin with his fingers, ”well, our military did suffer significant losses in Marley and their soldiers here are still stationed near vital points such as ports and if we begin attacking them outright it’s likely they will only kill the civilians still hostage in those areas and burn everything to the ground as well, costing us even more. We might have the numbers to attack them but that would mean we’d have to abandon the projects in the west as well as decrease security in the capital.”

”And? What’s your conclusion?” Erwin prompted.

”Hm, well, personally I’d think that a more peaceful approach might be necessary, we could, for example, utilize the infamy surrounding Levi Ackerman to prompt peace talks with the marleyan troops, offering to secure them a safe passage back to Marley. The soldiers would likely take it as well, since it is becoming clear to them that their government has abandoned them here.”

Erwin smiled. ”And what do you mean by utilizing Levi Ackerman?”

Armin glanced around himself hastily, as if he hadn’t realized what he’d said when he had spoken his name so freely, but no one said a word against him and he settled soon after, facing Erwin head on. ”Well, they’re obviously scared of him, and we could use Levi’s presence at the peace talks as a sort of intimidation, reminding them that even though we don’t have as many men as they do, none of that matters so long as Mr Ackerman is on our side.

”They’d be more keen to cooperate then and it could ensure that the marleyans wouldn’t start threatening or misbehaving.”

Erwin straightened up where he’d been using his hand to lean on the table before him, nodding at Armin. ”I quite agree.”

No one in the room felt the need to clarify that Levi had yet to officially kneel, to them all it felt like a foregone conclusion now that Erwin was back, only Erwin himself still feeling unsure about where he stood with the other man.

—

After the meeting Erwin was back in his room at the palace, though he still lived at his father’s house in reality. The palace felt much too empty and almost desolate, the halls echoing and cold. It almost felt like a tomb to Erwin, considering especially how many kings had died in these rooms. No, he much preferred to stay in a place that still felt a little bit like home to him, using the palace rooms as a study instead.

There was a knock at the door, Erwin glancing towards the sound of it opening from over his shoulder.

”Ah, Moblit, please come in,” he said, already beginning to unbutton his shirt.

The other man nodded as he stepped inside fully, closing the door behind him. ”My lord,” he said, mumbling as if he wasn’t entirely sure what behavior was expected of him as a member of the Ackerman creed in light of everything that had happened, taking hesitant steps towards where Erwin was standing near his desk, a bag of medical supplies clutched tightly in his hand.

Erwin shrugged his shirt off of his shoulder, still unused to the sight of his missing right arm, the severed part much cleaner now thanks to Hanji’s efforts to save his life on their journey back to Eldia. Now the scarring was minimal and the cut neater, not at all seeming as though it had been all but blown off.

”Hanji really is a miracle worker,” Erwin mused as he looked down at the wound.

Moblit nodded, stepping closer to inspect how the healing process was coming along, poking around and taking notes every now and again.

Erwin knew better than to try and ask after Hanji and their whereabouts, he knew already that the doctor was more than likely busy with Levi and his healing process, Erwin having kept himself away from both of them on purpose. After their falling out with Hanji, he had not had the courage to venture anywhere near the Ackerman clan’s lands, but due to Hanji being his primary physician as the doctor who had healed him, they had still sent Moblit over to the castle to check on his progress.

Erwin could not help but feel warmth at the thoughtfulness of it, feeling as though maybe all was not lost between them.

Moblit soon stepped away from him, opening his bag to dig out some ointment before spreading some of it on what remained of Erwin’s right arm. After, he nodded again at his own work, writing some more things down quickly before hastily closing his notebook.

”Right, it’s coming along very well, healing just as it ought to,” Moblit said, eyes still glued to Erwin’s mangled arm instead of his eyes.

”Good—” before he could get much more than that out, the door slammed open, both of the men turning to look to see Nile standing in the doorway, disheveled and heaving deep breaths as if he’d run all the way there.

”Nile?”

Moblit looked between the two of them quickly before stepping away from Erwin, inclining his head and bowing out of the conversation. ”I’ll be off then, king Erwin.”

Erwin dismissed him with a wave of his hand, his focus now fully on his friend, still standing in the doorway, doubled over as he struggled to breathe, barely managing to let Moblit pass him by as he leaned on the doorframe.

”What’s the matter? Did something happen?”

After his parents’ passing and Erwin’s coronation, the two friends had scarcely had time to talk about anything beyond what was discussed during official council meetings, Nile present there as the representative of his clan, though their relationship had been fraught for quite some time, strained by the events unfolding around them and out of their control.

Nile straightened up, something terrifying in his eyes as he looked straight at Erwin.

”It’s Marie, she— she’s fallen ill.”

Erwin felt as though the very ground shuddered beneath his feet, shifting and causing him to stumble on his two feet, leaning on the desk behind him for balance.

”What? Is it the—”

Nile nodded, his face twisting in agony. ”It’s the plague.”

Erwin breathed deep, willing to calm his mind, pulling forth his kingly facadé. ”Take me to her.”

The two men rushed through the winding hallways, their hurried steps echoing, their heaving breaths providing a near musical element to the heavy silence that otherwise reigned around them.

The doctors were already in Marie’s rooms when they arrived, Erwin quickly waving them off to get back to their work as they attempted to greet him. They must’ve made quite a sight, two men rushing into the room, haggard and breathing heavily.

”How is she?” Erwin asked, walking calmly towards the bed where Marie lay, her forehead creased in tension as she slept there, clearly troubled, sweat beading on her forehead and her lips were chapped and bloody, her chin haphazardly having been wiped clean of it as well.

The doctor standing near her bed straightened up. ”We’ve confirmed it’s the same plague that has been going around Mitras and the middle districts,” she said, not knowing Nile had already said as much to Erwin already, ”she’s stable, right now our biggest concern is the fever and her fluid intake. The plague has unfortunately relented only a little, people have not been moving around as much to stop it from spreading and fire seems to keep it at bay as well.”

Erwin glanced around the room, noting the incense placed in all corners of her room, burning something pungent to purify the air. He nodded, turning to the doctor once more.

”We’ve given her some medicine for now, it’s not a cure but it has worked with other patients before and seems to slow down the spread of the disease as well as ease the symptoms somewhat.”

The doctor walked around the bed to where Erwin stood, clasping his shoulder. ”I’d suggest that your majesty not linger in this room longer than necessary, we’ll have to close this part of the castle to ensure that no one else catches the illness.”

Erwin nodded along, brow furrowed in deep thought and worry. ”Of course, we’ll quarantine her here.”

”Thank you for your cooperation, your majesty, since you’ve only recently recovered yourself, you are particularly vulnerable to this plague. We’ll instruct the maids to light fires and burn incense inside the castle as well.”

With that, the doctors filed out of her room, only Erwin and Nile left standing there in tense silence.

”Are you out of your damn mind!?” Nile all but growled at him, causing Erwin to turn to look at him from over his shoulder, eyebrows raised as he took in the anger and rage twisting Nile’s features, as well as the clear worry shining in his eyes.

”Pardon?”

Nile stepped up to him, wrenching his shoulder to force Erwin to turn around and face him fully. ”You can’t just leave her here alone!”

Erwin placed his hand on Nile’s chest, lightly pushing him away from himself. ”I’m not leaving her here alone, she’ll have the best doctors and nurses in Mitras to look after her.”

”That’s not enough! She needs company, a friend, a—”

”What, Nile? What does she need?”

The other man looked at him, chest heaving from barely held back anger and frustration. ”I thought you loved her, too.”

Erwin could not help but pity this old friend of his, who had been through so much recently as well, hurting all alone, orphaned and now all but abandoned by his friends.

He smiled at Nile ruefully, grasping his shoulder. ”I care for Marie greatly, as a friend.”

Nile looked at him, hurt evident in his eyes. ”Then why would you marry her? You know I—”

He cut himself off, wrenching himself away from Erwin’s grasp. ”I won’t leave her.”

”You’ll get sick, too.”

Nile shook his head, walking over to Marie’s bed, kneeling beside it, holding her hand in between both of his. ”I don’t care.”

Erwin looked at him for many moments longer in silence, then he sighed deeply. ”You know, I told Marie that if she does not want to marry me, she is free to walk away from the arrangement.”

”You don’t even love her, you said it yourself. Why can’t you just walk away yourself?” Nile muttered, turning to glance at Erwin from over his shoulder, ”if you wanted to hurt me then you’ve succeeded, though I would’ve never thought you to be the type of person to do something like that.”

Erwin tilted his head, his blue eyes fond as he looked at his friend. He could tell Nile had been hurt deeply by the lack of explanation given to him about everything, thinking Erwin had betrayed him despite knowing about his feelings towards Marie.

”I did not mean to hurt you, Nile,” he sighed, ”the arrangement only exists because I made a binding vow with the king.”

He stepped closer, ”do you understand? I cannot break it myself, but Marie is under no such predicament.”

Nile said nothing, but there was something like understanding shining in his eyes as he looked at Erwin.

”If she—”

”When.”

Erwin huffed at the interruption. ”When she wakes up, you should tell her about your feelings, Nile. She’ll be thrilled to leave me for a man that can love her like she deserves.”

Nile shifted around where he was still kneeling on the floor, feeling unease at their heartfelt conversation. ”You’ll have to arrange her marriage in any case, since she’s your ward.”

”I’ll be happy to let her marry whoever she wants to,” Erwin smiled, turning around to step out of the room.

—

It was a few days after that, that there was a knock at the door of Erwin’s house.

”Knock, knock.”

Erwin was standing in the living room, once again going through his father’s books and research, turning to see Hanji leaning on his doorframe, arms crossed and a sheepish look to them. The door had been opened to let fresh air in, as it often got quite stale in the house now that Erwin was much too busy to clean it as often as he’d liked.

”Hanji,” he said, not able to keep the slight surprise from bleeding into his voice.

”Hey, hot stuff.” They stepped inside, glancing around briefly, hands now clasped behind their back. ”So… I came to apologise…”

Erwin could not help but chuckle at the comical image the scientist made, standing in the middle of his house, shuffling their feet like a child caught red handed stealing cookies from the jar.

”I realize I may have said some hurtful things in the heat of the moment, and I’m sorry…”

Erwin smiled, turning to fully face them. ”That’s alright, I understand, you were worried about Levi and rightfully so.”

”Still, I didn’t mean to call you a coward,” they said, looking up at Erwin quite innocently.

Erwin put away the book in his hands, stepping closer to his friend. ”How is he?”

It had been nigh unbearable for Erwin to keep himself away from Levi now that they were in the same place again, more than anything else he longed to go to him at all times, to touch him and hold him, hear his voice and to simply exist beside him.

He’d been agonized these past weeks that they’d been apart, Erwin was sure he had never missed anything in his life as badly as he had missed Levi, like half of his soul had been ripped out of his body.

Nobody in the world knew how Erwin loved Levi, jealous even of the sun as it kissed his skin where Erwin longed for his own lips to be.

But it had not only been Hanji’s outburst that had kept him from seeing Levi, if anything were he not so burdened by his own guilt he would’ve burst into whatever room they were keeping him in and not left his side even once, just as Levi had done for him.

There was something instinctual in the way he loved Levi, craved him even, something that seemed to live inside of him beyond his own existence. He longed to be by his side all the time, night and day, it was as if loving Levi was something so natural to him, something easy, like breathing, easier even.

Hanji smiled in the crooked way that they did, as if they knew something Erwin did not. ”He’s fine, I discharged him today.”

”Good, that’s— good,” Erwin exhaled, not even realizing how badly he’d been tensed, holding his breath out of anxiousness.

Hanji stepped closer, nudging Erwin with their elbow. ”You should go see him.”

”I don’t know…”

Erwin could feel his love in his bones and yet he was resolute; if Levi hated him then he’d never see him again.

”I’ve seen how much he needs you, Erwin,” Hanji said, ”how much you need him.”

They smiled, lopsided. ”He’s an Ackerman after all, that Levi. If he doesn’t have anything to protect, he gets quite lost.”

They stepped closer, looking at Erwin intently, laying their hand on his arm, squeezing. ”He lost so many of his friends there, so many people he had protected before. Don’t let him lose you too, Erwin.”

Erwin sighed deeply. ”He must hate me by now.”

”The wounds won’t get any better ’til you’ve spat out the bad blood, y’know.”

”I know,” Erwin said, ”you’re right.”

Hanji chuckled. ”I often am!”

Erwin inhaled then exhaled, letting his guilt well up inside of him in tides, rising up all the way to his throat, then letting some of it bleed out of his body, leaving him in a small trickle.

”Thank you, Hanji, I’ll… take your advice.”

Hanji only smiled, then turned around to leave again on the pretense that they had some more work to do. Erwin turned back to his books, but didn’t get much further in his task before Hanji addressed him again.

”Hey, Erwin.”

He turned around to see Hanji’s back facing him, the scientist standing by the open door.

”Hm?”

”I heard that, uh…” they started, hesitating, scratching the nape of their neck, ”that friend of yours, uh…”

”Marie?”

”Marie, yes, I heard that she got sick.”

Erwin nodded out of habit, Hanji still not facing him. ”Yes, she’s in the palace infirmary, being taken care of.”

Hanji sighed. ”That’s good, uh… funny enough though, Levi told me to ask you if I could maybe swing by some time… to see if there’s anything I could do.”

Erwin frowned. ”Levi asked you?”

Hanji gave him a wry smile from over their shoulder, almost pitying. ”He doesn’t hate you, y’know, I don’t think he ever could.”

Erwin wanted to believe as much, but couldn’t find such faith within himself just then. He’d have to face Levi head-on and see for himself if there was still a space for him in his life at all.

He sighed, lowering his head. ”Well, you’re welcome to visit her of course, at least on my behalf. Nile might not be as forthcoming about it, though.”

Hanji frowned. ”Nile?”

”Another friend of mine, Nile Dawk, he’s hardly left her side ever since she got sick.”

”Right… well, I’ll see if there’s something I can do.”

Erwin nodded, managing a genuine smile as well. ”Thank you, Hanji, for everything.”

They only waved him off. ”Well, what are friends for?”

Erwin’s smile widened a bit, eyes fond as he looked at Hanji. ”Indeed.”

—

It was some days later that Erwin finally managed to pull himself together as well as find some free time to make the journey to the Ackerman estate.

The weather was lovely, all Autumn sun and breeze, the leaves already changing color in the trees before dropping and floating in the air, dancing before falling to the ground.

The world was awash with color and Erwin could not find it in himself to be afraid as he walked through the estate and towards Hanji’s workshop. Hardly anyone seemed to be around, likely many chores keeping the people busy before winter.

He knocked on the door of the workshop, but could already tell he wouldn’t be heard based on the volume levels he could hear all the way outside and so he determinedly pushed his way inside, pausing to take in the scene of Hanji scurrying all over the place with the loud hum of machinery keeping them company.

”Hanji!” he yelled, needing to repeat himself a few times before the scientist heard him.

”Erwin, you came!” they hollered, approaching him to pull him into a rough embrace.

As they pulled apart, Erwin looked around the workshop, surprised to see it was Moblit there, helping Hanji around instead of the usual redhead Erwin had grown used to seeing among the machinery.

”Where’s Nifa?”

Both Moblit and Hanji paused, the former straightening up slowly as Hanji stepped slightly away from Erwin.

”Ah… I guess you wouldn’t know, huh,” Hanji said, scratching the back of their neck.

”Know what?”

”Nifa died, over there,” Hanji said, all straightforward like that, tilting their head as if they were talking to a child, ”they shot her in the head.”

”… what? She’s dead?”

”Yeah, her, Isabel, Furlan… uhh, those friends of yours too, the blonde girl and Miche, Flagon... Quite many people we had to bury over there.”

Most of that Erwin had already known, had witnessed their deaths firsthand, but hearing them all listed out like that still pained him, ringing in his hollow chest, rattling about and hurting all over until it was hard to even breathe.

”… right. I’m sorry for your loss,” he said, the words practised to him now after having been through the harrowing experience of too many military funerals to count, now. They had held a ceremony of everyone who had died overseas, after all they had had no bodies to bring back with them due to the limited space. Erwin had faced so many widows and grieving families that he had lost count.

Hanji nodded, but said nothing for a while, clearly hearing the pain in Erwin’s voice.

Then after a deep breath, ”Levi is at the stables,” they said, nodding their head towards the direction of it.

Erwin nodded and then left without another word, lost in his thoughts as he walked, not noticing the people around him until they greeted him. The stable was not far away, and soon he could already see it in the distance, hear the horses neighing and stomping their feet.

Most of all, he could hear Levi, talking to them sweetly as he brushed them.

Erwin paused to take in the sight of Levi in his element like this, surrounded by nature with the cold wind in his hair, eyes clear and bright as he held onto a brush, taking care of his horse. His back was to Erwin, only a glimpse of his side profile visible every now and again, teasing Erwin, already a heated want beginning to burn deep in his belly like embers of a fire.

He took several deep breaths as he looked at him, his hands wanting to reach out, fingers itching to brush through those dark strands.

”You gonna stand there all day like an idiot?”

Erwin huffed, beginnings of a smile pulling at his lips as he stepped forward and away from the shadows of the trees, into the sun where Levi was.

”Pardon me,” he said, ”I couldn’t help myself.”

Levi tsked, but said nothing further, still not turning around to look at him as he only continued to brush his horse, the animal neighing and stomping its feet every now and again as if expressing its thoughts.

As he approached, Levi quickly glanced at him from over his shoulder, eyebrow cocked. ”That’s really the color you chose? Tch, figures.”

Erwin could not help but smile, thinking that maybe Hanji was right; maybe Levi didn’t hate him after all. Maybe there was still something left of their easy camaraderie, despite everything.

”What?” he teased, playing along, ”you don’t like it?”

Levi shrugged. ”Seems a tad familiar, is all.”

”Does it, now.”

Another quick glance. ”One can only wonder why.”

A branch snapped under Erwin’s foot and he paused, still some steps away from the other man. ”Care to venture a guess then?”

Levi turned his face further away from him, his horse huffing and shaking its mane as if sensing his unease.

”I don’t like guessing games.”

”But would you like to know why?”

Erwin had always considered himself an honest man, quite straightforward in his approach to things, as much as he could anyway. Sometimes more tact was needed, but if allowed, Erwin much preferred to state things as they were.

Levi said nothing, his hand pausing briefly as Erwin spoke before picking up its repetitive motions again.

”Dunno, if you wanna say it so bad then just spit it out already.”

Despite their gentle banter, the air between them was still thick with all the words left unsaid, hanging in the breeze that stirred up, Erwin taking careful steps towards Levi as if to not spook him.

”You, Levi. I thought about you,” he said, once more taking the time to observe the other now that he was closer like this.

Levi looked much like he always had, healed now from his myriad of injuries Erwin had hardly gotten to see at all in the first place, but the scars of which still undoubtedly lingered, deeper than the eye could see, in his bones and flesh.

And with the newfound knowledge of his feelings towards Levi, Erwin could not help but truly see just how beautiful he looked standing there, even more beautiful than Erwin could even remember. His eyes were clear, dark hair stirring gently in the breeze, his posture straight and hands calloused as they brushed his horse, his demeanor so calm and collected it had Erwin feeling at peace in a way he hadn’t in so long, not even once in Levi’s absence.

Levi let his hand fall, putting away the brush, though he still did not turn to meet Erwin’s gaze, though he could feel the heavy weight of it on his back and all over his body, sending shivers in its wake. He did not know what to say and so he said nothing, the honesty in Erwin’s words leaving him breathless, the implications causing something warm to stir in his belly.

”And I am truly sorry for your loss, Levi.”

”Yeah, and whose fault was that?” Levi hissed now, defensive suddenly like a snake poised to strike when one stepped too close.

”Whose indeed.”

The shorter man gasped, shooting Erwin a look, briefly meeting his gaze, and Erwin knew he had understood his meaning. Had Levi not failed to kill Zeke in Karanes, Erwin would not have needed to leave, in which case Isabel and Furlan would not have come to protect him.

Yet it was still not Levi’s fault either, the fault lay with the people who started the war to begin with, the people who wanted to hurt Levi because of his Ackerman blood. The people who had forced them apart.

Levi sighed, turning first his face and then his body away from Erwin. He knew they did not blame each other, but the feelings swirling inside of his chest were still hard to reconcile with.

”I thought I told you not to go in any case.”

”You did.”

Levi scoffed. ”And you went anyway, huh?”

Levi’s anger was palpable in the air, grief as well, hanging from his every word, oozing from every breath. Like the tension just before a lightning strike.

Erwin breathed deep, facing Levi’s wrath head on. ”Had I not gone, you would still be there.”

His teeth were clenched tight, Erwin could even hear how he grinded them. ”And so what?”

”Levi,” he sighed, feeling somewhat helpless, ”I know you’re grieving, we’ve both lost loved ones—”

With a furious twist of his body, Levi suddenly turned around, all teeth and anger now, snarling. ”Don’t speak to me of what I’ve lost! Don’t you dare—”

With only a few quick strides Levi was upon him, slamming his fist against Erwin’s chest, though it did not hurt, not nearly as much as it hurt Erwin to see the pain twisting Levi’s features, reflected even in his eyes and unshed tears.

”I told you not to go! I told you, I TOLD YOU!”

He shoved Erwin, though there was hardly any strength in it at all, the blond not even budging in the face of his anger.

”AND NOW LOOK AT YOU!”

Erwin breathed deep, raising his chin. ”Yes, look at me now.”

Levi said nothing, but his eyes were clenched shut, his face turned away. Erwin could see how it weighed on him, how it hurt him like a physical pain to see Erwin now, what had become of him when Levi hadn’t been by his side.

”Look at me, Levi.”

There was weight in his voice now, a king’s speech. And at length Levi obeyed, wrenching his eyes open, turning his neck so he might face Erwin, his eyes flitting from his face to his missing right arm before he looked away again, unable to face what he clearly considered a great failure.

”I should’ve broken your damn legs before I left,” Levi muttered after a while, causing Erwin to chuckle, ”maybe that would’ve kept you here.”

Erwin sighed, even smiling slightly. ”I fear nothing would’ve kept me from you, Levi.”

The shorter man tilted his head up to meet Erwin’s gaze, and though there was still a hurt there, something Erwin was not sure how he could begin to ease, something else was filtering in as well, something that reminded Erwin of the tender warmth Levi had allowed him to glimpse before, a long time ago now.

Levi turned away from him, and it was not hard for Erwin to understand why. So many things strained the easy camaraderie they had shared before, now their bond was weighed down by the war and the things they had said and done.

Erwin could understand that Levi having been taken was a great failure to him, he had all but asked Erwin to be allowed to go and then everything had not gone as they had planned, resulting in Erwin needing to come and save Levi instead, many losses having been suffered because of what Levi had failed to do, though Erwin would never blame him for it, didn’t even think to do such a thing. But now the absence of his friends and the loss of Erwin’s arm were physical, painful reminders for Levi of what had happened.

And Erwin knew Levi was a very practical person, someone so many people had leaned on, someone they trusted. And Levi had placed his value in his usefulness, in his position as the strongest. When this view he had of himself was toppled, the man was at a loss. He suffered, because he thought he might not be wanted anymore, needed anymore.

They stood in tense silence for a moment more before Levi took an aborted step forward, as if it took his entire strength of will to keep himself from Erwin, his mouth opening and closing before he was able to spit out the words stubbornly hiding just behind his teeth, affirming Erwin’s beliefs of what was truly causing him such pain.

”If you do not need me—”

”I do,” Erwin hastily interrupted him, ”I do need you, Levi.”

Levi said nothing, his head hanging low and eyes downcast. He looked so hurt, it physically pained Erwin to see it. He would’ve gathered Levi in his embrace to console him, if he could.

Erwin released a shuddering breath, wanting to ease the pain his… friend was in. ”Levi, you have to understand, I do not consider our mission in Marley a failure, if anything—”

”Don’t.”

Erwin bristled at the interruption, but did not let it show. ”Don’t what?”

”Don’t try to console me like I’m some child, I know I messed up, it is what it is.”

”Levi—”

”I said don't!”

Erwin squared his shoulders, sighing. ”Fine.”

Only then did Levi let some of the tension bleed away from his body, his eyes downcast. They were silent for many moments, only the wind providing lively music for them as it blew through the trees, the leaves rustling and stirring in the breeze.

”I heard your wife got sick, I’m sorry about that.”

Erwin furrowed his brow, wondering about the sudden shift in topic but allowing Levi to deflect in the end, knowing heartfelt talks like this couldn’t be too easy for him. ”Thank you for your concern, Levi, though Marie is not my wife.”

”Fiancée then.”

He shook his head. ”Not that either.”

At that Levi turned to look at him, for once not flinching away from the sight of him. It eased Erwin’s mind, a sure sign that at least some of his reassurances were sinking into him, though it still confused him how Levi had gotten to his conclusion, since not even Hanji had called Marie his wife, nor anyone else either.

To Erwin, it was just another thing to clear up between them, in the end unable to see the hurt and jealousy in Levi’s eyes, hanging from his every word.

”There are no such feelings between Marie and I, though I will admit the previous king did demand our future marriage as a condition for naming me as his heir.”

Levi furrowed his brow. ”Why the hell would you take the job then if that old fucker was blackmailing you like that?”

Erwin looked at him for many moments, his eyes serious and unfathomably deep. ”I didn’t think I had much choice in the matter.”

Levi only groaned in response, all but rolling his eyes at Erwin. ”Oh, I cannot believe you! Are you so incapable of doing a single thing for yourself, huh?!

”You’re gonna marry that poor woman to make some dead fucker happy?!”

He closed most of the distance between them, stepping right up to Erwin. ”You’re really gonna sacrifice your whole life to make other people happy? You really are selfless to a fault, huh?”

Erwin scoffed, unable to help himself. ”Levi, that’s not—”

”What about your dreams then? What about you sailing the world like a ship, like you said, what about your father—”

Levi cut himself off before he could finish, his expression all funny as if he was about to vomit the words out of his mouth only to stop himself at the last moment.

”You didn’t even want to be king in the first place,” he settled for in the end instead.

Erwin inhaled deeply, his blue eyes clear and bright like ice as he looked down at Levi, something furious and cold in his expression that had Levi shuddering where he stood, faltering, realizing suddenly how close to each other they were.

”I did it for you, Levi.”

His honest admission had breaths stuttering out of Levi, his eyes flitting across Erwin’s face, trying to read his expression, the serious look to him so kingly that it had him shivering. In his eyes was reflected the truth of his actions, mirrored as well in Levi’s own.

This was all for you.

Unbeknownst to Erwin, Levi was in torment, his feelings for Erwin, his grief and the pain of everything he had gone through were overlapping with his uncle’s words, his wishes for Levi to never kneel to anyone, it was unbearable for Levi, his bond screaming at him to submit, his mind telling him to walk away forever and free himself from it all, his heart and his hands aching to pull Erwin close.

He had thought Erwin would hate him for his failure, but he did not, instead he had thanked Levi, had apologised to him even. Then Levi had thought Erwin would not want him by his side anymore, would replace him with another, yet he did not. Instead Erwin reaffirmed that he needed Levi by his side even still, even after everything.

His candor confused Levi, left him feeling unmoored, unsure of what the other was aiming for. Erwin did not know of Levi’s feelings, he was surely only speaking to him like he was any other comrade of his, like any other loyal dog he might’ve found and then kept, yet even this did not feel entirely true to Levi. And he envied Erwin for his ability to read Levi like an open book, while he himself could not even begin to understand the things Erwin was thinking and saying.

Levi’s eyes flitted across Erwin’s face, though his efforts were in vain, as he still was unable to get a read on the other man.

Levi took a step further away from him, scoffing. ”Well I didn’t ask you to.”

”No, I dare say you did not,” Erwin said, following right after him, not letting Levi get away from him, as if he was determined to be understood in this.

Soon they were standing so achingly close, Levi’s chest was heaving with his breaths as he craned his neck to look up at Erwin, who scarcely blinked as he met his gaze, steady and sure. They were so near to each other like this, Levi could almost imagine the warmth of Erwin’s breaths on his cheek and he found his body all but swaying forward even further, yearning to close the scant distance between them once and for all.

Levi looked away briefly before meeting Erwin’s eyes again. ”I can look after myself and my people just fine.”

”Yes.”

Erwin had said that he still needed him and that much was true, even Levi knew that. And he had reconciled with himself that he’d follow Erwin no matter what, yet he had underestimated the pain of his heartbreak, only magnified by the bond that tied them together.

More than anything Levi wanted to be by Erwin’s side, to be of use to him, to be needed by him. And though the war was all but over, in order to rebuild Eldia and to begin mending their relations with other countries, Erwin needed Levi by his side. Needed an Ackerman by his side.

But Levi wanted Erwin to need him as well, as just Levi, not only his Ackerman blood and his skill in battle.

It was torment, the way his thoughts and feelings ate away at him. It hurt him, pained him to keep himself from Erwin in that moment, as in all moments, but now that he had lost the guiding light that Erwin had been for him before everything, he was struggling to understand where they stood with each other.

He had chosen Erwin on purpose, entirely beginning and ending with him, there’d never be anyone else for him but Erwin. And he knew he could not ever even hope to leave Erwin, never out of his own free will, though his heart was still a mess of love and guilt, sadness and grief. So many things had happened, so many things had been lost, people who were dear to him were now gone forever.

Yet still despite it all, despite the tumultuous mess of feelings swirling inside of his chest, he ached to pull Erwin even closer, until their very bones intertwined. Levi could not tell if it was the bond or himself, maybe there was no difference at all, but more than anything he wished his body could be Erwin’s body, that they could exist within one another, sharing the same skin, dissolving into each other so they’d never be apart again. Levi ached for Erwin to pull him close, grabbing him harshly and for him to say that he was his, that his heart pulsed along Levi’s own, that they were the one and the same.

Levi yearned for Erwin to simply take his heart, this thing he was so afraid of and replace it with something that was easier to understand. He wanted to be told what to do, to be commanded, governed and led like his soul demanded. Life would be so easy if he needn’t think for himself any longer, if he could simply live next to Erwin’s beating heart, inside of his breathing lungs, keeping him warm and alive.

Yet guilt ridden as he still was by the things he had not told Erwin, Levi wrenched his head away, pushing the other man away from himself instead.

”I’ve had quite enough of you tormenting me for one day, so leave me be,” he said, agonized, breaking his own heart all over again, tearing himself away from Erwin to try and regain a sense of his own wants and needs.

He turned to leave, pushing past Erwin, preparing himself to walk away from his feelings forever, yet had barely taken a few steps before the other man addressed Levi once more.

”I will do no such thing, Levi, or have you forgotten?”

Levi paused, his back to Erwin. ”Forgotten what? Spit it out, blondie.”

Erwin looked at him from over his shoulder. ”You knelt for me, Levi Ackerman.”

A shuddering gasp slipped past Levi’s lips, his eyes wide like an animal’s as he slowly turned his body to face Erwin.

”You were not king then.”

”But I am your king now. Or are you telling me if I asked you to kneel for me now, you’d refuse?”

Levi said nothing, eyes aflame with something Erwin could not give name to.

”Refuse me then.”

They were fully facing each other now, Levi’s eyes wide, breaths stuttering where Erwin stood tall and sure, truly a king like Levi had never seen before.

Neither said anything for many tense moments, the air thick around them, moving in the breeze like something alive, something that breathed. The very earth under their feet was heaving, wind misting with the heat of it, of the two of them there, looking at each other, fully at a standstill.

”I would not,” Levi said at last, yet the tension in the air hardly dissipated at all even as the silence was broken.

”You would not, what?”

Levi exhaled, his shoulders relaxing. ”I would not refuse you.”

He submitted so easily, Erwin’s eyes were wide as he watched Levi, the shorter man turning around to leave, not staying to see how Erwin was looking at him. Erwin had expected more of a fight, more shouting, more cursing. He was sure Levi hated him, detested him, Erwin had felt so guilty before for even wanting to have Levi by his side at all, a king and his knight, yet perhaps he had overlooked Levi’s earlier submission.

Am I not yours to command?

Perhaps it ought to have meant more to him, to have had Levi kneel for him before he was a king at all, acknowledging him in a way no one else had. Perhaps Erwin had been foolish to overlook it as he had, but it hardly mattered now.

He would have Levi and his loyalty, like no one else ever had before.

—

Chapter Text

They had all gathered around the throne room, nobles from foreign and domestic houses, feet shuffling, all elbows and curious eyes. Erwin was once more standing at the front, on the dais, decorated as a king should in all of the ancient fineries of Eldia, serious and calm despite his thundering heart as he looked down at Levi.

The shorter man was silent before him, standing sure and stubbornly avoiding Erwin’s gaze.

He had no authority yet to summon Levi to the castle; he'd been formally invited instead as a clanhead, representative of all the Ackermans.

His advisor shifted with unease, clearing his throat. ”Standing before you is king Erwin of the house Smith, first of his bloodline bound to the throne. He has called upon you, Levi of the house Ackerman, as a representative of your clan to pledge your loyalty and life to him and his cause, served as he sees fit.”

The hall was utterly silent, not a single person daring to so much as draw breath, waiting to see something only their parents had seen once; an Ackerman kneeling to a king.

”How do you answer?”

Slowly Levi raised his gaze, meeting Erwin’s eyes like the north wind meeting the sea, like steel and ice or earth and sky.

Their very souls shuddered whenever their eyes met like this, reverberating across their spines, something alight in the both of them that was beyond physical desire, more akin to flesh reaching out and across, to knit itself together over a wound.

Yet the wound between them was deep, their recent conversation having only cleaned the blood from the skin around it. They had not spoken since, Levi having avoided Erwin deftly, like it came easily for him, though Erwin himself was torn asunder by his absence, destroyed from within.

Yet still Erwin understood him, knowing things had happened that could never be undone and he had been busy himself, the end of the war and the start of a new era keeping him all but chained to the castle.

Despite it he had not been free of Levi for even a second, the other man occupying every single one of his thoughts, as if Erwin existed trapped right below Levi’s heart, pulsating along it, breathing to its rhythm.

The need in him was unyielding, the want to possess Levi’s very bones, his blood and the tissues that formed him, the sinews that knit him together. His gentle name even, Erwin only wanted to ever fall from his own lips, lay only upon his own tongue. All that Levi was, Erwin considered his. And he knew that no matter what happened, no matter if Levi wanted it, Erwin would always be Levi’s just as he considered Levi to always be his own.

He knew not what name belonged to the bond that tied them together, love it was for Erwin, but it still felt like too little. To Erwin, Levi was every hope, every reason, every dream he had ever had now all were defined by him, given meaning by him. He had done all he had, for him.

And never had Erwin felt such temptation, such deep desire that was akin to fire in the way that it licked through him, alighting everything in its path. It was nigh inescapable, utterly unbearable, and it terrified Erwin with its strength and intensity, how it swayed him, moved him.

He was shivering, at all times, though did not feel cold.

Erwin had never known hunger like this, the want was ugly, incessant, like two hands wrapped around his throat, gnawing through him with its little teeth, it was like drowning, like silence, it was consuming.

Looking down at Levi as he slowly knelt before Erwin, it felt much more different than during those last Summer days ages ago. Now all eyes were upon them and they would all see how Levi belonged to him, how well he submitted, how easily. He was Erwin’s and they would all know it too. No one else had achieved it, only Erwin ever could.

They were still far apart, yet it felt as though they were close, Erwin could viscerally imagine the way Levi’s body would feel against his own, his hands trailing down the defined muscles of Erwin’s thighs, eyes looking up at him just like this as he knelt on both knees instead of on one as he did just then.

Erwin could not even pretend to himself that this was not something he wanted deeply, he didn’t even bother trying to sway his thoughts into another direction. He wanted Levi to look up at him like this, just like this, as he’d take him in his mouth.

He would never forgive himself for all the kisses and heated touches he had failed to give Levi, knowing the want for Levi would never leave him, instead it would stay within him until his dying day, though it would surely be the last part of him to die.

Erwin had not been even nearly as present during his actual coronation as he was now, there was nothing at all in the world that mattered to him as much as having Levi on his knees before him, nothing in the entire world could’ve drawn his attention elsewhere.

”I, Levi of the house Ackerman,” he began, voice even and practised, hand raised to his chest, right over his beating heart, ”pledge my loyalty and life to king Erwin of the house Smith, served as he sees fit.”

Erwin’s chest was heaving, his hand flexing as he willed it to stay by his side and not reach out, to pull Levi towards himself.

Distantly he was aware of gasps ringing around the room, as if it was a surprise what Erwin had achieved. Surely they knew, he thought, who else could summon loyalty like this but I?

Levi slammed his right fist against his chest, the other against his back, eyes never straying from Erwin’s for even a second.

Mikasa was behind him as his second in command, reaching out to lay upon his shoulders the color Erwin had chosen, with his insignia pictured there, now cascading down Levi’s back. It brought immense satisfaction for him to see it, a small smirk tugging at the ends of his lips.

Erwin offered Levi his hand, left now instead of right, watching as Levi’s eyes fluttered close as he took it gently, his fingers calloused yet soft, much smaller compared to Erwin’s. His lips were parted, his breathing warm as it touched Erwin’s skin, the back of his hand.

His eyelashes were so long, grazing the tops of his cheeks, casting shadows onto the curves of his face. There was a darkness underneath his eyes that Erwin longed to smear away like errant ink, yet he could not, even though Levi was now his to command, he was not Erwin’s to love, to care for.

The kiss Levi bestowed upon his hand was soft and chaste, yet he lingered, it was not at all dry or formal like the others had been during Erwin’s coronation. Levi kissed his hand as if it was an indulgence, as if he was loath to part from Erwin at all.

Then his eyes opened, slowly as if he was waking up from a dream, gaze once again meeting Erwin’s, looking up at him from below, through his lashes as if he knew precisely how beautiful he looked from such an angle, how captivating. Erwin’s breaths were deep as he drew them, eyes dark and he longed for nothing but to pull Levi into his arms, to tug him up and close, to breathe in his scent, to kiss his pulse and—

”The Ackerman clan has pledged their loyalty!” Erwin’s advisor all but shouted in his ear, forcibly pulling him out of his indulgent daydreams, reminding him that there was indeed an audience to this event.

Levi scoffed as he rose, glancing over his shoulder to see Mikasa putting on her new colors as well, reminding the clanhead of what Erwin had said about it, that he’d thought of Levi as he had chosen it. She nodded to him and then saluted Erwin as well, as she now was obligated to, before turning around to leave, not wanting to linger and socialize at the ball any more than she had to.

When he turned back to Erwin, he was no longer wearing his fancy king’s attire with his capes and jewellery, instead only his formal wear remained as he stepped down from the dais and made his way to Levi, walking slowly as if he had all the time in the world.

Levi glanced around the room, unable to help noticing the way all eyes were on them, everyone looking at them as if they were some spectacle.

”I hate when people stare,” Levi bristled.

”Well, can you blame them?”

Levi looked up at Erwin, still scowling, as the other reached out suddenly to brush his dark hair away from his eyes, tucking it gently behind his ear, thumb lingering on Levi’s cheekbone.

”Who wouldn’t want to look at you?”

His breaths stuttered out of him then, wondering just when Erwin had gotten so forward with him, if him kneeling had brought forth something that had been hidden before. He wondered what that something was.

Levi had longed for this kind of closeness between them, and even right then he could feel the tension already rising as they stood so close beside each other, eyes meeting and gazes lingering, with Erwin reaching out to touch him so gently.

In his heart he still hoped that not all was lost, hoped that Erwin was genuine in his actions and words like Levi wanted to think he was, and not simply baiting him as a part of some scheme like the kings before.

He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath.

No regrets, he reminded himself. Whatever it was Erwin had planned for the world, Levi would trust in it, would trust in him. He hadn’t chosen Erwin for nothing, hadn’t made his decision lightly. Even now as he opened his eyes again and looked up at the other man he could see the light again in his ocean blue eyes, filtering back in now that the war was ending, now that he wasn’t being chained by the old king and his nobles, instead Erwin was free to finally realize his hopes for the world, if not entirely for himself.

It still pained Levi, to think that Erwin had given up so much of himself and his life in order to save as many people as he could, in order to save the world. ’The hope of mankind’ they called him though that was not how Levi knew him. He had chosen Erwin as his king, the one he was bound to and the one he would follow, Erwin with his grand speeches and hopes for the world, yet the Erwin he had fallen for was the Erwin who had spent his days laying down cobblestone paths with Levi, who’d helped them rebuild roofs and farm their fields, the one who had had sunkissed cheeks from being outside and who doubled over from laughter, eyes crinkled as he smiled, the Erwin who couldn’t hold his liquor and who knew how to dance.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Levi looked around the room again, grumbling. ”Why are these people even here? Aren’t these the same fuckers who abandoned us when I was…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, but Erwin understood him nonetheless. ”I’m afraid international politics are more complicated than that, Levi. We cannot have Eldia turning into a pariah state; we need to be able to work with these people.”

There was a pause as Levi considered his words. Then, ”and how were you plannin’ on doing that?”

”Diplomacy and politics. I’ve had plans of opening Eldia up for more foreign trade for a while now, the end of the war is the perfect opportunity for it.”

”… what kind of trade?”

Erwin almost managed to feel insulted by what he knew Levi was getting at. ”Eldia has many resources indeed,” he said, leaning closer to Levi, winding his arm around his waist to pull him closer so he could whisper into his ear. ”You shouldn’t think me so generous, Levi, as to be able to share you.”

As he spoke, Levi shuddered, his whole body shivering from the feel of Erwin’s breaths on his skin, the heat of his body pressed up all along his own. He didn’t take his hand away, instead letting it stay where it was, wound around Levi.

Nobles came up to them, the event in full swing as Erwin did what he did best, strategizing and making deals, everyone once again happy to work with Eldia now that Levi was back and especially now that he was officially bound to the throne and to Erwin.

There was something about that thought that had Levi all but swaying on his two feet, heated and dizzy, struggling to reign himself in throughout the rest of the event.

—

Erwin could feel the palpable excitement in the air as the council gathered in the room, everyone shifting around and unable to control their curious eyes and eager expressions.

He almost wanted to laugh, sure that never before had these people been so excited for a meeting before.

The reason, of course, for such eagerness soon strode in the room as well, a sight most of the people present had never witnessed before; Levi Ackerman, in all of his glory, walking with well earned confidence and positioning himself beside Erwin, on his right side as was his due. Behind him were Hanji and Mikasa as well, there as Levi’s advisor and second in command, Hanji especially carrying scrolls and documents as if they were preparing for something grand.

During the early days of his reign, Erwin had longed for Levi to be by his side, to guide him and reassure him, though now that he had it he could not help but feel as though things were still not resolved between them.

Though Levi did his job as he ought to, he still felt distant to Erwin, as if he was avoiding him. He took care to not meet his eyes or to touch him even on accident, despite them standing so close in the crowded room.

Erwin could not say what was on his mind and it disturbed him, after all he’d always prided himself on being able to read people well, to understand them and use this implicit knowledge to his advantage.

Yet now as the officers presented their information, speaking and droning on, Erwin was finding it difficult to focus on their words as his entire mind was only full of Levi, trying to figure out what tension there was between them, why he was being brushed off and treated so coldly.

Still he felt grateful for Levi’s presence, whenever Erwin spoke and some old fool tried to speak against him, it hardly took more than a glance from Levi for them to fall silent again, Erwin almost wanting to laugh out loud each time it happened.

But as soon as the meeting was over, Levi had already disappeared, his figure vanishing with the doors slamming shut behind him. It had been driving Erwin mad, the way Levi was avoiding him, wanting nothing to do with him at all.

The mere way his scent lingered in the air and the breeze stirred up by his absence was enough to utterly gut Erwin, his entire body wanting to break down from the perceived rejection.

They had not talked about their feelings, Erwin becoming more sure with each day that passed that Levi held not even a single fond thought about him, let alone anything more than that. That he had only bent the knee because he believed in Erwin’s vision for the world and for Eldia, because he was kind towards the Ackermans.

The world felt useless, the end of the war pointless now that Levi was not by his side, the very person he had done all he had for. And most of all Erwin was afraid he’d spend his entire life loving Levi, and they’d never speak again.

An officer lingering near Erwin sighed, looking down at the reports in his hands. He had reported earlier of their successes in having the remaining marleyan soldiers surrender once they heard so much as a whisper of Levi’s name, let alone the occasions where they had sent Levi to the battlefields that still remained, him alone being enough to liberate entire towns from under Marley’s command.

”All the king’s horses and all the king’s men indeed,” the officer said, whistling appreciatively.

Erwin glanced at him, saying nothing.

Other times Erwin spent visiting Marie, despite the nurses there trying their best to keep him out. But he’d lost so much already, it pained him to think he might’ve not given enough already, that there was still more for the world to take from him.

Seeing Marie bedridden from her fever, Erwin could not help but remember his mother, him only ever knowing her when she’d been ill already. And his father who had taken care of her tirelessly, without ever complaining, reminded him now of Nile, who was all but bound to Marie’s side, scarcely leaving her at all despite him having his own responsibilities with his clan as well.

Erwin was leaning on the doorframe, listening as his friend spoke, wiping the sweat from Marie’s brow, his other hand holding hers as if he couldn’t fathom letting go. Erwin thought of him and Levi, how he couldn’t be there for the other when he’d been healing, like Levi had done for him. Something he now considered one of his greatest regrets.

”I would’ve never married her, before,” Nile sighed, his thumb tracing lines to and fro against the back of Marie’s hand, ”with the covenant…”

Erwin nodded. ”I understand.”

Nile said nothing more for many moments, simply content looking down at Marie as she laid there.

Then at length he sighed, glancing at Erwin. ”But then you… and I could imagine it again.”

Erwin said nothing, letting him speak.

Nile looked over at him, a hurt in his eyes that pained Erwin to see.

”When she told me the king arranged for her to marry you… you can’t imagine how I felt hearing that I’d lost her again, just when I’d gotten back the hope that the covenant could be dissolved, that I’d get to see a day where I wouldn’t have to fear for the lives of my loved ones.”

Erwin thought of Levi, unbidden, how it had felt to hear of his disappearance, how lost he’d been after. ”I can imagine it just fine,” was all he said to Nile though.

Nile shook his head, his eyes agonized. ”I just— I can’t lose her too, Erwin, I can’t.”

Erwin stepped further into the room, clasping Nile’s shoulder, atop his own was balanced the heavy weight of many lives lost, among which were too many people he had known, people he had loved even.

”I’m sorry Nile, for not being able to save your parents.”

Despite everything, Erwin did consider it a personal failure, perhaps if he’d said something else, tried a different approach, then maybe he would’ve been able to persuade the old king, to get him to give up the covenant.

Or maybe it could’ve never been done. Maybe he was never going to change his mind. As it stood, Erwin would never know if things could’ve turned out different, but the guilt was the same. It all felt like his own doing in the end, even if the truth wasn’t so simple.

”It’s not your fault, you did everything you could,” Nile said, sighing deeply as he turned once again to face Marie’s sleeping form, ”they pledged their loyalty and held that promise ’til the end, there’s nothing else to it.”

After a brief pause, Nile spoke again. ”You’ve done more than enough, you’ve given me the opportunity to dream again, of having a family of my own.”

Before Erwin could say anything more, there was a loud bang at the door, the two men turning to see Hanji opening it sheepishly after having marched directly against it.

They were rubbing their nose, face scrunched up. ”Ow.”

Erwin stepped away from Nile, ”Hanji, what are you doing here?”

As if Erwin had reminded the scientist of why they’d come in the first place, their demeanor suddenly changed into something much more serious, face passive and shoulders squared.

”I told you; Levi asked me to help.”

Erwin nodded along, ”right, you’re here to examine her?”

Hanji waved him off, stepping past him to go to Marie’s bedside, Nile immediately bristling and putting his guard up. ”No, I already visited a while ago.”

”Then…?”

Hanji was still quite serious, looking directly at Erwin, something held in their eyes Erwin had never seen before. ”Do you love her, Erwin?”

Erwin was not at all sure what Hanji was getting at, but decided to follow along just to see where they’d end up. ”Yes, I care for her deeply, why do you ask?”

They looked at him for many moments. ”Alright, good then.”

Nile looked between the two of them, frowning. ”What’s going on?”

Hanji didn’t bother to address him, simply crouched down to pull out a set of vials from their medical bag. Erwin said nothing as well, still a little confused himself.

”It’s uh, it’s pretty experimental still, I won’t lie,” Hanji said as they straightened up again, clicking the vial in their hand, ”but I’m confident it will work.”

”No. Absolutely not,” Nile said, stepping forth as if to shield Marie from Hanji altogether, ”you’re not injecting her with any random substances!”

”Hanji, what is this?”

They were serious once again as they looked at him. ”It’s a cure, Erwin. You should be thankful.”

The two of them stared at each other as if at a standstill.

”A cure?”

”Erwin, you cannot be serious! You can’t trust these—”

One look from Erwin and the other man fell quiet, though was still clearly uneased, shifting his weight from one foot to another as he frowned at Hanji.

”Thank you, I can assure you both that I know what I am doing,” Hanji said, leaning towards Marie’s sleeping form to administer the medicine.

And Erwin did trust Hanji, had no reason not to, and even Nile held his complaints behind his tightly clenched teeth as he watched Hanji work, all but breathing down their neck. When Hanji was done, they walked promptly past Erwin, as if there was nothing at all to be discussed anymore, only Erwin did not let them, grabbing their arm as they passed to hold them still.

”What did you give her?”

Hanji didn’t try to shake themselves free, not meeting Erwin’s gaze either. ”I told you; a cure.”

”According to the reports from the doctors they have yet to discover a cure,” Erwin insisted, ”so I will ask again: what did you give her?”

At that, Hanji looked at him, once again serious and so cold, Erwin shivered as he met their gaze. ”It’s a cure for her, not for anyone else. Since you said you care for her, since Levi told me she’s your wife.”

Erwin’s eyes widened and he let Hanji go. ”She’s not—”

”I gathered as much,” the scientist said, glancing back at Marie and Nile, who was holding her hand, fussing over her, who had scarcely left her side since she had fallen ill.

Hanji looked back at Erwin. ”Still, clearly she means a lot to you, and you mean a lot to Levi, so he asked for my help.”

A few beats passed in silence as Erwin let the words sink in.

You mean a lot to Levi.

It felt impossible to believe, despite everything Erwin was finding it a difficult notion to rid himself of, that Levi hated him. His mind knew it couldn’t be true and his heart yearned for much more than what Hanji’s words promised, yet still they sounded strange to his ears.

You mean a lot to Levi.

At length Erwin shook himself out of his thoughts. ”Is it possible to produce more of the cure then? To help everyone else?”

The look Hanji gave him was pitying, full of something Erwin had no name for. ”You don’t want that.”

”Hanji, what—”

”I mean it, Erwin. Don’t ask for something when you don’t know what it would cost to get it.”

Erwin was beyond bewildered, watching as Hanji walked out of the room without another word. Slowly he turned back to glance at his two friends, seeing Nile frozen in surprise by Marie’s bedside as she opened her eyes, squinting at the light.

”She’s—”

In a rush Nile all but ran out of the room, likely to get Marie’s doctors to come and look her over, in the meanwhile Erwin walked over to her, slowly sitting by her bed, eyes still wide with surprise.

”Marie, how are you feeling?”

He filled the glass that sat by her bedside, offering her a few sips of water, propping up the pillows underneath her to let her sit up slightly, as much as she could.

Her eyes were still tired and sickly, yet there was a light in them, a sure sign whatever Hanji had given her clearly worked.

”I’m fine,” she mumbled, clearing her throat. She’d been awake for short periods here and there, the fever often causing her to sleep most of the day, so Erwin had scarcely been able to talk to her these past days, busy as he was. Whenever he visited, she was always asleep and the nurses were always there to usher him out of the room, so he wouldn’t get sick as well.

”Why… is one of us always sick these days?” she laughed, though her voice was quiet and raspy still, her golden hair duller as it spread out around her head.

Erwin chuckled as well, reaching out to take her hand in his. ”You’ll get better soon.”

Marie said nothing, looking at Erwin intently. ”You love him.”

Erwin blinked. ”Who, Nile?”

She huffed, lightly slapping the back of his hand. ”Don’t play dumb with me, Erwin. I am much too tired for it.”

”Apologies,” he muttered, properly chastised.

Marie looked at him for many long moments, saying nothing. Then with a deep sigh that betrayed her weariness, ”I was going to settle for you, you know.”

Erwin said nothing, his eyebrows raising in surprise as he listened to Marie talk, holding her hand all the while much like Nile had done.

”Nile, he… turned me down in our youth, because of the covenant.”

Erwin nodded in understanding. Marie had been in an unique position as the king’s ward, safe from the constraints of her birth clan after the passing of her parents.

”But now…” her voice was so frail, a cough rattling through her, though she still insisted on speaking her mind, ”you’re so dear to me, Erwin, and I… wouldn’t ever want to hold you back.”

”You should go after what you really want,” he said, encouraging.

Marie reached out to poke him on his chest with her free hand. ”That goes for you too, you fool of a man.”

She settled back down on the bed, watching him. ”You shouldn’t let him go, Erwin.”

He nodded, sighing. ”I know… I don’t want to let him go, either.”

Marie smiled sweetly at him, a slight commotion at the door interrupting them again as Nile rushed back in, followed by multiple doctors. Erwin took his leave silently, happy to see Marie feeling better, happy to know that they were in understanding about their situation.

Still, as he walked out, he couldn’t help but ponder about Hanji’s cryptic words, about what they could’ve possibly meant.

—

It was somehow worse for Erwin, to have Levi near and not be able to fully be in his presence than to not have him in any form at all. Levi was only scarcely more than a haunting mirage at the edges of his vision with the way he was disappearing around corners as Erwin walked towards him, doors shutting behind him, barely even speaking in Erwin’s presence.

It had been driving Erwin utterly mad and more than many other things in life, Erwin disliked miscommunications and misunderstandings. He had not been sure where he’d gone wrong with Levi, but he knew he must be clearer with the other man, lest they drive each other away like this for the rest of their lives until they could scarcely be in the same room at the same time.

Erwin knew him being a king had complicated things between them, the authority he now held over Levi was sure to strain their bond, yet at every opportunity Levi had proved to him that it was not so. He had given himself to Erwin even before he’d been a king and he had done so again now that he was. Such submission had come easily for him, such loyalty, that it had Erwin rethinking where they stood.

Before, Erwin had attempted to reassure Levi about his feelings of failure and inadequacy, as well as giving him important tasks to do so Levi would still feel valued and useful.

But based on how Levi was acting, Erwin was sure even that was not what was causing the other man such torment that it’d drive him away from Erwin entirely.

Then, based on what Hanji had said to him when they were giving Marie the cure and based on what Levi himself had said about her when Erwin had gone to see him at the estate, Erwin had finally drawn his conclusion.

As such, he had used his royal authority as the king to summon Levi to the palace, instead of going to the estate to see him. He was desperate to make himself understood, so that there would not be any more misunderstandings between them.

”Noble clanhead Levi of the house Ackerman is here to see you, your majesty,” the guards stationed by the doors to the throne room announced, bowing as they spoke.

Erwin motioned for them to open the doors. ”Thank you.”

Tension crackled in the air like lightning as Levi strode in the room, steps sure as they echoed around the walls, the heavy doors slamming shut behind him.

He stopped some ways away from Erwin who was standing on the other end of the room by the large windows overlooking the palace grounds, saluting him like a proper clanhead should.

”You summoned me,” he said, not questioning, simply stating a fact as if Erwin needed the reminder.

”My lord,” Erwin prompted, watching Levi slightly bristle.

”What?”

”The proper address for a king from a clanhead is ’my lord’.”

He could see the tension and annoyance in every line of Levi’s lithe body, his jaw clenched as he held his attitude behind his teeth.

”… my lord,” he managed in the end, though only barely.

”Good.”

Something flickered in Levi’s eyes at that, Erwin looking down at him intently, more and more sure that his gamble was correct.

”Levi,” he began, ”do you know why I’ve summoned you here today?”

”… No.”

Erwin only looked down at him, one eyebrow cocked, saying nothing.

”No… my lord,” Levi corrected under his heavy gaze, his breathing growing shallower as Erwin nodded at him in approval.

”You’ve been avoiding me, Levi.”

”Like fuck I have,” the other scoffed, then seemed to remember himself and leaned forward slightly as if mockingly bowing at Erwin, ”my lord.”

Erwin stepped closer to him. ”Then is this what you wanted? Us standing next to each other in council meetings, never speaking, only you doing as commanded and me commanding you?”

Levi said nothing, looking up at Erwin as if it was all he knew how to do.

”Because it is not what I wanted.”

At that, Levi gasped, shuddering, his arms falling limp against his sides, eyes wide now and lips parted.

”I’ve thought a lot about you Levi, about Ackermans and their kings, these… bonds deeply woven into our country’s history, no matter how it’s been lost to time, now.

”I am revered like a God now, for having you by my side, yet it is not what I wanted.”

Levi could scarcely breathe at all as he listened to Erwin speak, utterly breathless and all but shivering from the anticipation.

”This crown is a heavy weight and you’re right, Levi, it was not my dream to become king, instead it was something I did out of necessity.”

Erwin stepped even closer, Levi gulping as they stood close like this once more, the shorter man taking an almost unconscious step away from him, feeling as though he might crumble from the words the other was saying. Erwin’s eyes were lidded, heady and full of something unbearably deep as he gazed down at Levi.

”All I have done, I have done for you, Levi. And I…” Erwin sighed, tearing his eyes away from Levi briefly before meeting his gaze again with newfound determination, ”what I wanted, what I still want, is you, Levi.

”So won’t you shoulder it with me, Levi? The weight of the world is hardly so heavy if you’re here,” Erwin all but pleaded.

”With you by my side, I—”

He stepped closer, as if chasing after Levi.

”I’ve always dreamed of this world, of seeing it all, learning about it, studying and experiencing it in its entirety,” he began again. ”I’ve had my head tilted up towards the sky for as long as I can remember,” his eyes were wide and bright as they always had been as he reached out, taking Levi’s hand in his, raising it to his cheek, Levi’s palm right beside his lips, ”and still, what surprised me the most in this world… was meeting you.”

Levi gasped, lightly shaking his head. ”You don’t mean that,” he whispered, stepping away from Erwin’s hold, tugging his hand back to his side.

Yet Erwin chased after him, determined. ”I do mean it, every word.”

Levi shook his head again, tearing his gaze away. ”You don’t know what you’re saying.”

”Levi.”

He looked up as Erwin addressed him, meeting his eyes as if commanded, as if called upon without the other needing to say anything else at all.

Erwin’s eyes were as if torn between fondness and agony, regret of having wasted so much time yet also relief as they finally stood here in front of each other, exactly where they were meant to be.

”You know, all this time I thought you despised me,” Erwin admitted, chuckling lightly as if the whole thing amused him greatly. ”I thought you hated me for working with the king, I thought you hated me when I became the king…”

Levi’s gaze was flitting all over the place, his weight shifting from one foot to another as he struggled to stand there under Erwin’s meaningful gaze, listening to his heavy words.

”Well, I—” he tried, trying to find the words to dispute what Erwin was saying, ”I didn’t… Or I did, I suppose, disl—”

”Dislike? Then why did you fall for me when we first met?”

Levi’s eyes widened suddenly like a prey animal’s, caught in a hunter’s rifle, lips parting around a silent gasp. He took a sudden step back to create some distance between them only Erwin did not let him, instead immediately following after him, backing him against a wall.

”All this time… I had been so wrong about you.”

Levi was helpless to do anything but look up at Erwin as the other spoke, neither having ever expected to find themselves in the situation unfolding around them at that moment. Both of them had been so sure the other would not, could not, ever return their feelings, that they were despised and hated for the things they had done and said.

And yet…

Erwin looked down at him, soft and unbearably tender.

”It feels as though you’ve bewitched me, claimed me down to the depths of my soul,” Erwin exhaled, ”after you were gone, I… I felt as though I was going mad without you.

”I had not the slightest idea of what to do without you, it felt as if I had made you up in my mind entirely with how much I missed you, ached for you. I scarcely knew what to do with myself, with the way you were haunting me with your absence.”

Levi gasped as he listened to Erwin speak, his body trembling with something that felt like fear, yet he was not afraid. Something tremendous was blooming inside of him, something large and unfathomable that Levi had no words for.

Erwin stepped even closer to him, all but pressing himself against Levi, caging him between himself and the wall, as if he wanted to make sure Levi could no longer evade him, as if he was demanding to be heard.

”I had never known I could yearn for another person as I have for you, your sour looks and golden heart, kind yet cold eyes, the softness you allow me to glimpse at as if to tempt me, to lure me in closer and closer,” Erwin continued, his body shaking from the effort to hold himself back from Levi.

”And I… I thought you would hate me, but now I am not entirely sure you’re capable of such a thing at all. You’ve given me everything, everything that I have asked for, everything that I dared not even consider having, you with your selfless heart and… I fear I have been a disappointment to you, I fear I have treated you terribly, callously, carelessly.”

Levi shook his head, but in the face of Erwin’s earnest words he had not the slightest idea of what to say or do, letting the other speak his fill.

”The avarice of my want is unyielding,” Erwin breathed, leaning even closer to Levi, the two of them breathing the very air from each other’s lungs, lips so close it would take scarcely more than a breeze to bring them together like they both desired, ”yet what I have now…” Erwin pulled back slightly, his face torn in agony as he did so, as if it took all of his will to hold himself back. ”Meeting you was already the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Erwin swayed forward slightly, as if drunk on Levi’s presence and the very air surrounding him, his eyes lidded and gaze hazy. ”And I didn’t ever think myself as selfish as—”

His chest was heaving now, breathing laboured as he all but towered over Levi. ”I fear there is no end to the things that I want from you, Levi, no end to my selfishness and greed, the way that I want to possess you—”

Erwin felt so heated in that moment, as if a fever was spreading through his body, his heart pulsing and his breaths scalding like vapors from a machine, his eyes dark with all the lust he felt for the man before him.

He breathed deep, ”the agony and undeniable jealousy I felt when you were not by my side, I— it had me realizing just how badly I craved to have you—”

Erwin sighed, followed by a sweet admission, ”you are mine, Levi Ackerman.”

Levi shivered, his entire body trembling from the words he was hearing, what he had longed to hear all this time, from Erwin’s heated body so near his own and he felt himself nodding, admitting what he had wanted to tell the other man for so long, why he had knelt for him, killed for him, why he’d die for him, even. Why he held no regrets at all, even now, even after everything.

”Yours,” he whispered, voice uneven and shaky with barely held back lust, ”yours, I’m yours, for God’s sake, Erwin—”

And suddenly it didn’t matter anymore how much they wanted to hold themselves back from each other, in that moment they were helpless to do anything but reach out, gathering each other in their arms, safe and sound at last, and their lips met with such fervor there were no thoughts at all anymore, no doubts or fears, instead they kissed with all the longing and heartache they had endured for these past months.

Erwin ran his hand down the length of Levi’s arm, enjoying the feel of his defined muscles underneath his touch, at last settling at his waist, gripping the smaller man tighter and tighter, pulling him even closer to his own body, so nothing might ever separate them again.

Levi was gasping sweetly against his relentless mouth, his entire face twisted from undeniable pleasure, and his fingers were already slipping into Erwin’s hair, tangling at the nape of his neck, using his hold to angle their lips together better until they were as if one being entirely, molding together perfectly.

His leg was hitching up in a desperate attempt to pull Erwin even closer and the taller man understood his need immediately, letting his hand drop down to grab Levi’s thigh instead, grinding the two of them together until they were groaning, Levi’s thigh trembling and tightening around Erwin’s hips, feet and the heel of his boot pressing into him desperately until his entire body was crushed against the wall by Erwin, until he was all Levi knew, all he was aware of. Nothing in the world existed except the two of them, all that Levi could hear and feel was Erwin’s heated body against his own, Erwin’s breaths on his skin, his lips on Levi’s and his tongue licking into his mouth ceaselessly, as if he was starving.

He was utterly ravenous, as if he wanted to consume Levi completely, as if bite was a natural way for him to touch, nipping at Levi’s lips until they were swollen and red, his touch bruising and relentless.

”Levi, please—” he pleaded, tugging at Levi’s thigh to get his message across, loathe as he was to part from his lips for long enough to be able to finish a single sentence.

Levi nodded, lifting his other leg as well, wrapping himself entirely around Erwin, the other displaying considerable strength in his ability to lift Levi up and support him even with only one arm. Levi shuddered from the intensity of the lust flooding his body as he ground against Erwin’s stomach, the feel of his hard body against Levi’s was intoxicating, something he only wanted to feel more of.

His entire soul was singing with pleasure and pure joy, flowers blooming from the slithering branches that squeezed around his heart, finally he was at rest, finally he could have what he craved in its entirety, he could have Erwin, all of him, just to himself, he had longed for his submission to be recognized, to be rewarded for his loyalty, it was all he had wanted all this time and now it was finally his, he could finally be Erwin’s in all of the ways that he wanted—

Although…

”Erwin—” he gasped, wrenching his lips away from the other man so he might breathe, feeling so lightheaded from the kissing and the lack of air in his lungs to the extent that he’d scarcely been able to pause and think of what was happening, guided only by his own desires.

Erwin graciously let him have respite, attacking his neck and partly exposed shoulder instead, his lips and teeth pressing against every inch of skin revealed to his greedy eyes, his tongue licking up along the veins that pulsed underneath his flesh, in place of his hand he used his teeth to tug Levi’s clothing out of his way, soon his lips were even on his collarbones, his tongue wickedly licking along the dips and curves of his body.

”Nghh—” Levi groaned, eyes clenched shut from the onslaught of pleasure and the myriad of feelings still swirling inside of his chest. A veritable maelstrom of emotions, desire, lust, love and still, undeniably, guilt. Stubborn, persistent guilt that would not leave Levi alone for even a second.

It had been his reason for pushing Erwin away these last weeks since their reunion, it had been why he’d been loathe to face the other man, incapable of speaking to him or even looking at him, the guilt that had been passed onto him from his uncle had been eating him alive, swirling inside of his belly and guts like a snake, stubbornly reminding him that he could never ever have the things he wanted, that he could never ever have Erwin, or to be his like he wanted.

Even now it had his stomach dropping, reality settling in with every single breath that he took, awful, awful guilt rising inside of him with every kiss and touch Erwin bestowed onto him.

”Ngh, wait, Erwin—”

Reluctantly and with a final nip at his neck Erwin relented, pulling back slightly so he might look Levi in the eye, his breathing erratic as he gazed down at him, eyes utterly dark and so full of lust it had Levi pausing, once more considering simply being selfish like he wanted, letting himself have like he wanted.

”What is it? Do you want to take things slow—?”

Levi wrenched his head away, eyes clenched shut. ”We can’t do this,” he whispered, agonized.

Upon hearing those words Erwin felt as though his heart had stopped, the entire world halting on its axis, a freezing sort of dread seeping through him until his entire body was frozen, unable to move or to think.

”… what? Levi, what… what are you saying?”

Slowly Erwin let Levi down from his hold, stepping away to give him space while still remaining close, looking at him with concern in his bright blue eyes. It ached Levi to see it, to always be the one causing Erwin to worry and hurt.

Levi sighed, avoiding Erwin’s gaze. Slowly he reached into his coat, pulling out a worn notebook, offering it to the other man with shaky hands.

He said nothing, knowing no words were needed at all. Erwin recognized the notebook instantly, the one thing he’d been looking for all this time, the one thing he’d returned to Eldia for. His father’s research.

”Levi,” he began, voice even despite the way his stomach was falling from dread, ”why do you have this?”

Levi winced, glancing at Erwin quickly before looking away again.

”Levi, answer me.”

”Just take it, for fuck’s sake,” he hissed, shoving the notebook against Erwin’s chest, letting his hand drop back to his side as soon as Erwin took the papers into his own hand.

Erwin said nothing for many moments more, looking down at Levi with such seriousness it had the smaller man shuffling his feet where he stood, anxious like he had never been before.

”You had this the whole time?”

”I didn’t know what it was, at first.”

”At first?”

Levi winced again at Erwin’s tone. ”It was… after that ball, when I walked you home,” he began explaining, ”I uh, I recognized your father… from the picture in your house.”

Erwin’s eyes were wide open now. ”You met my father?”

Levi could tell Erwin’s clever mind was putting it all together now, puzzle pieces clicking together seamlessly, timelines matching in his head like dots connecting to form a clear picture. Erwin’s intelligence was a feature Levi had cursed just as often as he had silently cheered for it. Amazed he was by it, even now.

”For what it’s worth… I really am sorry.”

Sorry about your father, sorry about not telling you, sorry about what happened back then, sorry about failing you, sorry about putting you through all of this just to save me, sorry about loving you, sorry about us getting this close only to not get anywhere at all in the end.

Levi sighed. Almost they’d had it. Almost, maybe.

”Have you read these?” Erwin demanded, not addressing Levi’s apology at all, entranced now by the notes and the newfound betrayal it brought with it.

Levi only shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. ”It’s all in code, I didn’t bother to try and decode it.”

Neither did he bother mentioning that there could be nothing in that book he hadn’t already experienced first hand, but he was sure Erwin knew as much by then, or he’d come to find out soon enough.

He shuffled his feet, stepping away from Erwin. ”I’ll leave you to it then,” come find me after, if you still want anything to do with me, but Levi couldn’t say so outloud, knowing already that there was no way Erwin could even look at him anymore after he’d find out about what really happened to his father and mother.

Levi was somber as he walked away, not turning around to look at Erwin, not daring to see how the other wasn’t looking at him or worse, to see how he would look at him now, after everything had come to light.

Erwin’s earlier words were ringing in Levi’s mind instead, mocking him.

Meeting you was already the luckiest thing that had ever happened to me.

He scoffed, idly shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked.

Bet you don’t think that way now, do you Erwin?

—