Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gumball brushed boxes and books aside, finally finding the camera. “Hey, honey, do we have any batteries?” He called. “I don’t know what kind this thing needs.”

“I put some fresh ones in earlier!” Penny shouted from the kitchen. She bustled in, a stained apron around her waist, a phone pressed to her ear in one hand and a bundled up kitten in the other. “I don’t see why you can’t just use your phone!”

“Tradition, Penny, tradition! These videos are best filmed on camera!”

“Yeah, but- hang on, I gotta take this, can you hold Zachy?” She extended the baby-occupying hand out towards the cat.

“Oh, sure!” Gumball smiled, setting the camera down and scooping his son in his arms. “Hey lil buddy, are you enjoying your first Christmas?”

“Habwa buh ba.”

“I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

“Can you try and get him to eat?” Penny said in a hushed tone. “He hasn’t- oh, hey mom! No, just trying to get Zach to- I mean Zachary , to have some food.” She rolled her eyes, noticing her partner's glare.

“You’re not a ‘Zach’, are you, lil guy?” Gumball cooed, gently tickling the kitten’s nose, prompting the tiniest sneeze. As Penny’s heart melted in the background, Gumball wiped the snot away with a tissue. “No, you’re no Zach, you’re not a widdle scumbwag, you’re actually wikable, aren’t you? Oh yes you awe, yes you awe!”

“ Oh, we can’t wait to properly meet our grandson! ” Judith squealed. “ You two better bring him over soon! ”

A string of bad luck had prevented the Fitzgeralds from meeting the newborn. When Zachary was born, Patrick had accidentally crashed the car on the way to the hospital, so they rescheduled. Then, a snowstorm had blocked both families in their homes. After that, Judith came down with a nasty baby-compromising cold. But now, Christmas had rolled around and nothing stood between the peanuts and the 3 week-old kitten.

“We will soon, Mom, we’re just dealing with a lot. We’re gonna leave in like, five minutes.”

“ Are you sure you don’t want us to come give you a hand? ”

“ Tell her about the present! ” Patrick’s voice chimed in from the background. 

“What present?”

“ Ugh, I wanted it to be a surprise but your father has a gift he really wants to give Z-Z. ” 

“Z-Z?”

“ It’s Polly’s nickname for him. I don’t think it’s that bad. You know, when you were little, your Grandma called you P-P. ”

Penny cringed. “Ew.” 

“ Oh grow up, Pens. You guys were all my little P-Ps at one point. ”

  “Mom, stop.”

“ Fine, fine. Just, hit the road soon? Please? ”

“Sure, Mom, I just need to finish the pie. We’ll go as soon as that’s done.”

“ You remembered to use mint oil, right? ”

“No! I told you, it’s an abomination!”

“ You weren’t saying that a few months ago… ”

As Penny and Judith debated, Gumball screwed the cap on Zachary’s bottle. “You hungry, buddy?” He purred, shaking it like a bartender. (The bottle, not the baby.)

As the cat tried to lower the milk to his son’s mouth, the kitten scrunched up his face, turning away. Gumball frowned. “Come on, you need to eat!”

“Nye!”

“C’mon!” The older feline zipped his hand around, trying to get the baby to drink, but the angry kitten refused, somehow dodging every try. At last, Zachary found a feeding position he was comfortable with and began to drink, his red-hot cheeks fading.

Gumball breathed a sigh of relief, only to be interrupted by a sharp ringing. “Is that my timer or yours?” Penny asked, Judith still blabbering in her ear.

“Mine!” Gumball responded. “Hey Zachy, that’s the cookies! Wanna help Daddy decorate them?” 

Deciding handling hot goods was more urgent than feeding, the cat pulled the bottle out of his son’s mouth and began looking for oven mitts, only for the infant to start wailing in protest.

“WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

“Okay, okay!” Gumball grimaced, putting the bottle back in. Zachary ceased crying immediately and continued sucking away. “Alright, you’re not done, I get it!” He looked back at the oven, smoke already starting to creep out.

“Can I just-” The cat tried adjusting his grip on the baby, but yet another sharp cry from his son put an end to that idea. Zachary liked how his dad was holding him, and wanted it to stay exactly the way it was.

“Penny, can you-”

“Don’t you dare bring up those potatoes!” The fairy yelled into her phone. “You set the oven too high, it was your fault! Anyway, I was only six!”

Gumball gulped. He had to get the cookies out of the oven, but he couldn’t adjust his hands at all. Oh, this was gonna hurt.

“Okay, sorry, I’m done, what did you- GUMBALL WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Penny shrieked as she saw Gumball repeatedly kick the cookie tray into the air like it was a soccer ball, all while holding their baby close to his chest, his arms perfectly still.

“Ow. Ow. Ow.” The feline winced with every kick. “Ow. Oh. Ow. Hey. Ow. Penny. Ow.”

The fairy threw on some oven mitts, catching the tray before it could touch her boyfriend’s feet again.

“What were you thinking?!” She cried. The fairy put the tray to one side and retrieved her baby, laying him in his carrier. 

“Hey, those cookies had to come out.” Gumball shrugged. The cat was now sitting on the ground, rubbing his sore feet. “How else was I supposed to do it?”

Penny waved her hands in his face. “Maybe with your HANDS?!”

“But they were occupied!”

“With what?!”

Gumball pointed to the now snoozing baby. “He was finally eating. I didn’t wanna disturb him.”

“Gumball, I would’ve helped if I’d have known.”

“I didn’t wanna disturb you either!”

“Awww, you’re so sweet.” Penny smiled, sitting down next to him. “But you’re also a reckless dummy. You scared me for a second.”

“I didn’t mean to put Zachary in danger, I swear!”

“I wasn't worried about Zachary, you goof, I was worried about you!”

“Well, you should’ve been more worried about the baby!”

“The baby wasn’t the one kicking a burning hot tray in the air with his bare feet!”

“Yeah, well-”

The squabble was interrupted by another timer ringing. The noise stirred the sleeping kit, prompting another cry session. “Okay, that one’s mine.” Penny sighed, slinging her oven mitts on again. “Can you calm Zachary down and get him out to the car? I’ll be out in a sec. I just have to pull out this biohazard…” 

“Sure thing.” Gumball purred, gently picking up his child. “Heyyy Zachy, it’s okay. Shhh shhh shhhh, it’s okay… see? Look at the silly daddy, isn’t he silly- okay you don’t like it, I get it, I’m sorry, Zacher!”

Penny chuckled to herself as the wailing slowly died down. She turned her attention back to the pie, carefully lifting it out and setting it on the stove. The fairy cringed as the smell hit her nose. This pie was awful, not in execution, but in design. Walnut, broccoli, banana and mince.

... Why had she made this?

Fourteen Years ago.

“Why did you make this?” Penny sniffed, almost vomiting at the pie’s smell.

“It’s tradition, sweetie.” Judith explained. “Every Christmas when we have a new family member, we make this. It’s a…. Welcome present, of sorts, to celebrate new life. We made one when you were born, and now we’re making one for your sister.

“But it’s so gross!”

“Well, you’ll just have to suck it up. Everyone else in the family likes it, and besides, tradition is more important than one fussy peanut girl's feelings.” She snickered teasingly. 

“Penny!” Patrick called from the other room. “Get your shoes on, honey, we gotta go soon.”

The large peanut walked in, carrying his infant daughter. “Jude, have you seen her bottle? I can’t find it.” 

“It’s on the counter.” Judith waved in its direction. “Penny, can you take this out to the car?” She handed the girl a plate of mashed potatoes, also infested with broccoli, and resumed rifling through the fridge. 

“Fine.”

Patrick looked at the clock. “Honey, shouldn’t we-” 

“-Get going?” 

Penny snapped out of her trance, turning to see the cat poking his head in from the living room. “Huh?”

“I said, ‘shouldn’t we get going?’ Zachary’s all ready to go, I just need to pack your parents some cookies. Are you ready?”

“Uh, yeah… sure.” She picked the pie back up with her oven mitts. Gumball packed a few of his cookies into a paper bag, taking an extra few for the road and then sealing the rest away in the pantry. As his girlfriend passed, he caught a whiff of the pie, his cheeks instantly going green. 

“Oh, sweetie… wowwww, it turned out…. great!”

“You don’t have to lie, Gumball. I know, it’s awful.”

“So why’d you make it?”

“Some stupid tradition we have.” Penny snorted, carrying it down the stairs. “Mom and Dad would’ve flipped if I didn’t.” 

“They couldn’t have made one themselves?”

Penny pondered for a moment. “Gummy, I had to. Might as well, at this point. It’s been going for so many years. They made a pie to celebrate me, they made one to celebrate Polly, so I’ve made one to celebrate Zachary. Nothing more to it.” 

Nudging the door open with her elbow, Penny stepped out onto the pavement, the chilly air making the fairy shiver a little. The couple’s car was parked out on the street, both back windows rolled down slightly with a contented kitten inside, half asleep. 

She placed the abomination in the boot of the car, slamming the door, waking Zachary up. Gumball leaned over from his seat. “I'm just saying, you seem upset about all this!” 

“I'm not upset!” Penny cried, strapping herself into the passenger seat.“It’s just… a hassle.”

“So why are you doing it?”

“Because they’re my family. I owe it to them.” She motioned over to the door neighbouring their own. ‘Penny’s Paints and Patisserie’, their work-in-progress art store-cafe hybrid. “ We owe that to them.”

“Okay then. If you’re sure.” Gumball shrugged, plugging his own seatbelt in.

“I am!”

“Bweh.”

Penny looked behind her. Their kitten had let out a murmur before closing his eyes again, nestling into his car seat and letting out little snores. The young mother sighed, sympathetically. “Awww, sweetie. Did you have an accident?” 

Gumball raised an eyebrow. “No? I just changed him.” Ignoring him, the fairy undid her seatbelt, climbing out of the car and unstrapping her son. 

Penny picked Zachary up, startling the baby. She sniffed at him, pinching her nose. “Oh, yep, yes you did. Oh, poor baby. Come on, we should get you changed before you see Grammy and Grandpa.” 

Gumball sniffed the air. “Penny, I can’t smell what you’re smelling. I told you, I just changed him!”

“Nono, this is a stinky baby. Aren’t you, honey?” She tickled at Zachary’s tummy, only prompting a look of confusion from the child instead of a giggle. “Babwuh?” 

Penny marched back inside and up the stairs, holding Zachary at arms length. Gumball hastily chased after her. “You must be nose blind Gummy, he reeks!”

In the nursery, she laid the wriggling kitten down on the changing table. Doubtful, Gumball slouched against the door frame.

Penny undid Zachary’s diaper, pretending to be baffled by the cleanliness. “But, I’m sure he-”

“Penny-” Gumball was cut off by the fairy brushing past again.

“He must be hungry.”

“Couldn’t we feed him at your parents? Or in the car?”

“No, no, he likes eating here! Don’t you Zacker?”

“Penny.” Gumball gently grabbed her wrist, stopping the frantic mom in her tracks. “I can tell you don’t wanna go. So let’s just not go.”

“We have to though!” Penny proclaimed. “They want to meet Zachary!”

“Then why are you doing everything you can to delay it?”

“I-” Penny stammered. “I’m just nervous! I want them to see him but… I don’t want anything going wrong.”

“Well, then they can do it another day.” The cat made a scale motion with his hands. “Maybe some time that isn’t the most stressful day of the year?”

“Gumball, we can’t break tradition!”

“We very easily can.”

Penny looked around, desperate to find something to use as a counter. Her eyes settled on Gumball’s video camera. “What about that tradition, huh?” She scoffed, flicking a finger towards it. “Are you willing to break that?”

“Gladly.” The cat replied plainly, deflating the fairy’s entire argument. “I’ll happily record this on my phone if it means you’ll stop forcing yourself to do these things.”

Penny thought for a moment, torn inside. 

“How about instead of following some tradition…” The cat caressed the fairy’s antlers. “…we just give Zachary a nice first Christmas, huh? Make a new tradition.”

Penny pondered. “I’ve never really had a quiet Christmas…”

“You’ve never had a baby before either. So, why don’t we give it a shot?” The feline held his cub up to his face, moving the baby’s lips with his fingers. “ Oh yes momwy, I don wanna eat your monstwosity pie. I wanna have some of daddy’s cookies.” Gumball faked a gasp, turning the kitten around to face him. “Wow Zachy, you’re speaking! And such wise words!”

“Goo…”

Penny sighed. “…Fine. Look. We’ll swing by them, say hello, show them the baby, give them the pie and leave, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

“Yaaaay!” Gumball cheered, gently bouncing his son up and down. “You hear that, buddy? We don’t have to see any of Mommy’s family engaging in pointless fighting, yaaaaay!”

Penny tried to suppress a smirk, before the realisation of her task did it for her. “I’ll call my folks…” she groaned.

Judith paced past the piles of presents and food, trying to find her currently ringing phone. “Pat, have you seen my phone?”

Polly, watching from the table, snickered. “Wow, Mom.” She giggled, typing something on her phone. “Entering Grandma mode already?”

Pepper, Patrick’s sister, poked her head in from the living room. “What are you missing, Jude?” 

“My phone.” Judith muttered, patting her non-existent pockets. “Stupid thing just- Aha!” She found it, somehow concealed behind a pot of coffee. The peanut rolled her eyes. Likely one of her nieces or nephews had put the pot there, ignoring the device. Probably pesky little Peter.

Judith stepped out of the kitchen, away from the loud, gossiping in-laws chatting in the dining room and children playing in the den, and made her way out onto the porch.

“Penny, hey! Are you guys on your way?”

“ Yeah, soon, Mom… just had to take care of something… ”

“Oh? Sweetheart, is everything okay? Nobody’s hurt, or anything?”

“ No, Mom, we’re fine, but… I wanted to tell you guys something. ”

Judith gasped. “Honey, are you-”

“ Nope! ” She heard Gumball’s voice cut in. “ Sorry Judith, we’re on a baby hiatus right now, Zachary is more than enough. ”

“Oh.” The peanut was a little disappointed. “So, what did you have to tell us then? If you could make it quick, that’d be great, dinners in the oven and I’d rather not burn it this year.”

“ Gumball and I… we decided we don’t really want to do the whole big Christmas dinner thing. We are still coming, just to be clear! But, we’re not gonna stay long. Just wanna say hello and then leave. ”

“I see.” Judith nodded. “Gumball’s family wants you over so badly, huh?”

“ No, we’re not even going to see them, Mom, just you guys. We decided we just want Christmas for us to be nice and quiet, most of it at least. ”

“But Penny, the tradition. It’s how we’ve always done Christmas!”

“ I know, I know. But I think we just wanna try our own thing. I hope you can understand. ”

The middle-aged peanut sighed. “Of course we do, Honey. It’s your life after all.”

“ Wow. Thanks Mom. ” Judith heard Penny sniff away a tear. “ We’re just strapping Zachy in now. I promise, we’ll be over soon. ”

“Ok, sweetheart. Love you.”

“ Love you too. ”

As she hung up, Judith heard the creaking of the door behind her. An elderly peanut in a wheelchair edged herself outside. “Hey Judy.” She smiled. “Who was that?”

“Just Penny, Mom.”

“Ooo, is she bringing over my great-grandson?”

“Yep. Just for a little bit.”

“Just a little bit?” Beatrice asked. “Are she and Gumball not staying for dinner?”

“Apparently not. She says she just wants a quiet Christmas, whatever that means.”

Beatrice’s face softened. “Ahh. I know what that’s like.”

“You do?”

“Please, can you really blame someone for wanting to get away from all… this?” She jerked a thumb towards the door. 

Raised voices sounded out from inside, the results of another typical Fitzgerald argument about the true colour of blueberries. 

“Yeah, but, the traditions…” Judith moped. “Pat is gonna be disappointed.”

“Sweetie, know what one of your Grandma’s traditions was? We weren’t allowed pancakes on Christmas. Only Christmas! And when you came along, I made you guys pancakes every Christmas.”

“I’m not seeing your point.”

“Some traditions don’t stick, some do. Sometimes change is for the best.”

Judith scoffed, smirking. “No idea you could channel the holiday special vibe, Mom.” 

“No offense, darling, but if you think that was corny, take another look at the family you married into.”

“Yep. Patrick’s my cornball though.” Judith sighed. “I should get inside. Don’t want anything burning. Thanks for this talk, Mom.”

“Anytime.” Beatrice wheeled out of her daughter’s way before following her inside.

“So, why aren’t we seeing your parents?” Penny asked, tilting her head at the driver.

“The Watterson Christmas is cursed.” Gumball said, bluntly. “Started when we accidentally ran Santa over.”

“Huh?” 

“Then there was the year we flooded our basement with candy canes.” The cat noticed the look of pure bafflement on his girlfriend’s face. “ Melted candy canes.”

“Sounds sticky.”

“It was. Then the year our tree got stolen by bikers. Pretty much every Christmas dinner we had, something went wrong. Lasers, solar eclipse, late homework. We just decided to turn Christmas into sending each other some nice texts and a quick meal on our own, and hey, it works.” He squinted his eyes, looking at the street signs. “Hey, how close are we again? I can never remember, these streets all look the same.”

Penny took a deep breath. Then another, and another, and another.

“Pen, relax.” Gumball said, reassuringly, his eyes still focused on the road. “They’re your parents. I thought you guys were on good terms?”

“I am, but it’s not them. It’s everyone else. So many aunts, uncles, cousins. And they are all so nosey.”

“Pff, can’t be that bad.”

“Oh yeah? I visited my parents when I was about 5 months pregnant. My Aunt Patricia was there and she completely lost it when I said I wasn’t drinking grapefruit juice. I had to have twelve glasses before I could leave. And I hate grapefruit!”

“Yeesh, never mind.”

Penny took a deep breath. “Give them the pie, show them the baby, leave. Give them the pie, show them the baby, leave. Pie, baby, leave. Pie, baby, leave.”

“Yes. That’s still our plan, babe. It has not changed since you ran through it 30 seconds ago.”

Gumball signalled a left turn, glancing in the rearview mirror to see Zachary half-asleep, his head leaning against his car seat. “You think they’ll like him?”

“What?” Penny snorted. “Of course they will! Why wouldn’t they?”

“Well, He’s not a peanut.” 

“Neither are you. And I stopped being one 10 years ago. Not really a big surprise that our baby isn’t a peanut.”

“Yeah, but, didn’t you say the rest of your family are, you know, really traditional? Like, will they think we’re poisoning the bloodline or something?”

“Gumbear. When I say they’re traditional, all I mean is that they care about pulling out chairs and what colour the tablecloths are at our wedding and stuff.”

“But we’re not mar-”

“And that’s why we’re not telling them, okay, honey ?”

“I thought that wasn't a big deal to them?”

“You’d think so, but Dad said to mind it around Uncle Paxton. He apparently lost his mind when I was born. So, I'm playing it safe.”

“Oh, right.” Gumball nodded. “We should really talk about doing that, huh?”

“Once this is over, sure. Right now, I need to brace myself.”

The car pulled into a spot on the street outside the Fitzgerald’s house. Penny massaged her forehead again.

“Pie, baby, leave.” She whispered, taking another deep breath, and opening her car door.

Patrick caught a glimpse of something red pulling up outside. Peeking through the curtains, he was greeted by the sight of a blue cat struggling to remove a baby from a booster seat in the back of the vehicle, only to be pushed aside by a disappointed fairy.

“Judith, they’re here!”

“How does this thing work?” Gumball grunted, tugging at the straps from the boot. 

“I told you.” Penny tutted, unbuckling their son. “The strap goes out, then in, then sideways.”

Gumball continued to yank at the straps, before giving up. “Why are these so hard to undo?”

“Child proofing.”

“The child isn’t gonna be back here, only the parent! So why isn’t it… I dunno… parent un-proofed?!”

Zachary, stirred by his father’s growling, began to whimper, reaching out to either adult for comfort. As Gumball finally got the strap undone, Penny gently picked the baby up and began rocking him back and forth. “There, there, sweetie. It’s okay.”

Zachary yawned, nuzzling his head against her warm chest. Penny beamed. “Gummy, look!” She whispered. “Haven't we made the cutest baby ever?

Gumball, now holding Penny’s pie, shrugged. “I mean, I’ve seen your baby pictures. You were, still are, and always will be really cute. The cutest.”

“Nope.” Penny turned her nose up. “He’s cuter. He’s the cutest baby, aren’t you Zachy?”

“Eh, I’d say he's tied with you.” Said a third voice. The couple spun around to see their child’s grandparents walking down the driveway, various peanut family members observing from the porch. Tucked under the grandfather’s arm was a small red box with a gold ribbon.

“Patrick, Judith.” Gumball nodded respectfully. “I’d shake your hands, but as you can see, mine are kinda full.”

“Mom! Dad!” Penny beamed. 

“I’m here too.” Polly waved, leaning out from behind her father.

“Yes yes, lovely seeing you both.” The greeting flew out of Judith’s mouth as quickly as it could, eager to cut to the chase. “Now, show us the baby. ”

Penny looked down at the snoozing bundle in her arms. Zachary slowly opened his eyes, staring straight back at his mother, oblivious to what was going on. The fairy’s gaze shifted back to her mother, her arms outstretched, making a ‘gimme’ motion. Various aunts, uncles and cousins she’d forgotten about watched, eager to see the three generations bridged.

“Here, Mom.” Penny smiled, passing the precious package over to her proud parents. “Meet Zachary Watterson.”

Judith took the baby, gasping as she saw his face. Zachary yawned again, prompting a collective ‘Awwww’ from the porch members. 

Patrick peeked over his wife’s shoulder. Zachary was a near spitting image of his father, only with a pair of wings like his mother’s.

“Oh… hello sweetie…” Judith choked out. She began to shake, Patrick dropping his present to rush in and take the infant off her hands. Zachary giggled, excited about being passed around so much.

“Mom, are you okay?” Penny asked, grabbing her shoulder. 

“I’m fine, Pen, it’s just… I can’t believe I’m actually a grandma…”

“Hey, little cutie.” Patrick cooed, tickling his grandson's chin. “Oh I’m so happy to meet you!”

Zachary, in return, simply licked Patrick’s face. The older peanut blinked in surprise as the parents snickered. “Oh we forgot to tell you.” Gumball chuckled. “We found out he likes licking people. A lot.”

“Seems he likes peanuts.” Penny giggled. “Apparently I taste like strawberry to him. According to Gumball.”

“The mouth doesn’t lie, Penny.”

Patrick let out a nervous laugh, holding his now hungry grandson out at a distance. “Heh… cute…” Zachary stuck his tongue out, trying to get another taste of the large thing holding him, given it had provided a nice change from the boring milk Mom and Dad had been giving him. 

“Hey, my turn!” Polly reached for the baby. Patrick gently passed him over, the teenager recoiling slightly after feeling her nephew’s weight. “Wow, he’s so light.” She balanced him on one arm, tickling his tummy with her free hand. 

“Polly!” Judith snapped, snatching him back. “He’s not a toy! Be careful with him.” 

“No fair, you already got to hold him!”

“Okay, I’m taking him back.” Penny intervened, swiping her child. “I haven’t had enough time with him.”

“He’s been practically glued to you since he was born, Pen.” Gumball frowned. 

“Still not enough.” Penny huffed. “This lil munchkin should be with me at all times.” 

“Hey, where is everyone?! What is all dis hubbub?” A gruff voice called from inside. Patrick sighed, Judith rolled her eyes, Penny and Polly cringed. Every other family member wished they were anywhere else. 

A wrinkled peanut with a cane came stomping out the front door. “Patty, what are all of you doing out here? Why didn’t anyone wake me?”

“We tried, Dad.” Patrick groaned. “You just went back to sleep.”

“Bah.” The centenarian scoffed. “Well, it’s not like you made it out to be important! You should have properly woken me!”

To say Potrick Fitzgerald was a grouchy man was an understatement. Generations of in-laws had tried to form a bond, but he was a tough nut to crack. Due to a tragic misspelling on his birth certificate, the ancient peanut had changed his last name and formed the rest of his life out of spite, before disappearing from the family entirely. Noone had told him he could just change his first name. Or that he had changed his surname from Fitzgerald to Fitzgerald. 

After decades alone sulking on an island, he had suddenly returned, and now insisted on being invited to every Fitzgerald event, a request no one could deny because… well, where else could they put him. And now, everyone was standing around this weird bulb looking girl and some mis-coloured cat.

“Junith!” The senior barked, waving his cane in the couple’s direction. “Who’s this?”

“That’s our daughter, Penny and her, um, husband, Gumball.”

“Your daughters blue?” 

“The blue one is Gumball, Dad.” Patrick corrected.

“Hmph. Yes, of course.” He shifted his attention to Penny. “Then who’s this?”

“Our daughter… still.”

“But where’s her- YOU LET HER OUT OF HER SHELL??!!”

“Ten years ago, Potrick!” Judith huffed.

“Patrick?! My name is Potrick, young lady!”

“That’s what I said!”

“Bah, I can’t waste time with your pronouncey action game! Why is that girl not in her shell? Why’d no one tell me?!”

“Maybe because they knew you’d act like this.” Pepper snorted.

“Dad, it’s a different time, this is all old news.” Patrick soothed. 

“And I think you’re forgetting that she’s holding your great-grandson.” Judith chipped in.

Potrick’s scowl faded a little. “Great-grandson?”

“Yeah Grandpa.” Penny held Zachary up, letting the old man see the little ball of joy. “Come meet Zachy.”

Potrick hobbled his way down the stairs. “Wow… I- I can’t believe it… I’m a great grandfather…”

He spun around, pointing his cane towards Pepper’s wife, Margaret. “In! Yer! Face! Ye said I wouldn’t live this long! Well, guess who’s still alive?!”

“Congrats…” Margaret murmured, giving a pitiful clap.

“Now, Pelly.” Potrick turned back to his granddaughter. “Did ye bring the Ol’ Fitzgeral pie?” 

“Yes, we did!” Gumball chirped, handing him the foul smelling dish. “Here!”

Potrick examined the pie, scanning it for errors. Judith, Patrick and various other members of the family watched from over his shoulder as he stuck a finger in, testing the flavour.

“Hmmm, lil dry but, practice makes perfect.”

Judith took a taste herself. “Mmm, not bad.”

“Eh.” Potrick shrugged. “On yer next kid, it’ll be- hey, where’d they go?”

The family looked around for the trio, only to see the faint outlines of smoke and black tire marks burned into the street.

“Awww.” Beatrice groaned. “I don’t get to see him?”

The car suddenly screeched back up. The cat leapt out, dashed over and placed the baby on her lap.

“Oh!” The great-grandma smiled, stroking the confused kitten. “Hello there!”

“Happy?” Gumball asked, counting the seconds.

“Yep.”

“Cool.” He and Zachary sprinted back to the car, tearing off again.

“Phew!” Penny sighed, melting into the driver’s seat. “Glad that is over!”

“Yeah…” Gumball groaned. “I could practically feel the judgy stares.”

“Tell me about it… you think they’re mad we didn’t name him something starting with a P?”

“Pff.” The cat scoffed. “What names are left? Pansley?”

“Paddy?”

“Patagonia?”

“Petunia? Presto- oh shoot we forgot Dad’s present!”

Gumball looked back. “Awww cra- hey, wait, no we didn’t.” 

“What?”

The cat jerked his thumb towards the back seat. Next to Zachary was the small red box Patrick had been holding. Gumball scratched his head. “How’d he get it in? He didn’t even get near the car.”

Penny shrugged. “No idea. Let’s just chalk it up to some weird grandpa power?”

“I dunno. It just seems… nonsensical.” The talking blue cat said to his glowing shape-shifting fairy girlfriend.

“Eh, we’ve seen stranger things-” 

“Great show by the way-”

“But enough about that, what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?”

“Dunno, wanna just see what’s on TV while we open presents?”

“Works for me.”

~

“Okay, rolling!” Gumball pointed his phone towards the fairy.

“Hiiii, Zachy!” Penny smiled, waving into the camera. “Or uhh, whatever you wanna be called! It’s me, Mommy! I know you’re probably watching this as a teenager with your gwumpy widdle attitude and stwingy widdle mustache, but we wanna show you something! Gummy, pan it over.”

Gumball turned the phone to face Zachary in his playpen, capturing the newborn as he tried to eat his gift’s ribbon. “Zachy, no!” Penny rushed into the pen, yanking it out of his mouth. 

At first, the baby was upset at the loss of his snack, but was quickly soothed by Mommy’s presence. “Recognise this little guy?” She grinned, reaching down to tussle her baby’s hair. “Just know, honey. No matter how big you get, or whatever you do, this is who you’ll be to us. And we’ll always love you for it…. Gumball, are you crying?”

“Yes.” He choked. “Keep going…”

“That’s your dad, kid. Always remember, he can be a real softie.” She put a hand over her mouth, inconspicuously whispering. “He’s the one you harass for money.”

“Don’t listen to your mother, Zachy.” The cat interjected. 

“Anyway, the reason why we’re recording this,” Penny went on. “We wanna capture your first gift ever. Gummy, give me the phone.” The camera shook and rolled around as it was passed between the parents exchanging places in the pen. Finally, the blue cat was now in frame.

“Heya, kiddo!” The feline imitated the fairy’s wave. “Check this out.” He smirked, holding up the small red box. “Your awesome grandpa Patrick gave you this.”

He crouched down to his son, offering him the gift. “Wanna try and open it?”

Zachary merely took this as a cue to resume biting the ribbon off, unaware he was still toothless. After a few moments of ‘biting’ (drooling all over) the ribbon, the baby relented, confused by the lack of progress.

Gumball rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Alright I’ll open it. But you loosened it up for me.” He effortlessly pulled the drool-smothered ribbon off, taking the gift’s lid with it. Zachary, intrigued by the new thing bigger than him, cooed, which Gumball took as a sign he wanted to get closer, eagerly obliging.

The baby, naturally, lacked the strength to pull the box onto its side. But it didn’t stop the little Watterson from trying. Or the big Watterson from nudging it over without the boy noticing.

The cat gasped. “Penny, did you see that?” He cried. “Our baby’s so strong!”

Penny faked surprise. “I know, right?!” She clutched her heart. “We’re raising a little athlete!” She brought the camera closer to Zachary. “What did Grandpa get you, honey pie?”

“Bab wah!”

The fairy flipped the camera, holding it so it captured her and her baby. One arm outstretched while holding the phone, still recording everything, she peeked inside the box, gasping at the sight. Genuinely this time.

The fairy pulled out a small bear shaped soft toy. Seemingly store bought, with one notable adjustment; a pair of antlers attached to the head.

Penny brushed aside a tear, handing it to the infant. “Here you go, sweetie.”

Zachary, lacking the proper motor skills to hold it, let the toy fall to the ground. However, this seemed to still entertain him, if his squeals were anything to go off.

“Hey Pen, I didn’t quite get a good shot of it. Can you show it again?” Gumball nodded towards the toy. Penny reached for the doll, but as her fingers touched fabric, Zachary began bawling as loud as possible.

The parents’ hands clamped over their ears as their baby shrieked and wailed at the loss of the toy he couldn’t touch. “Okay, okay, you can keep it!” Penny winced, placing the bear back on Zachary, immediately pacifying him.

“Goo.” He babbled, licking at the toy’s head. Penny sighed, stepping out of his playpen. “He loooooves his lil tantrums.”

“I’m sure we’ll get used to it.”

“He really likes what Grandpa gave him, doesn’t he?” She watched as the kitten lay there, his mouth sucking on the bear’s arm.

“Mhm.” Gumball nodded, scratching his chin. “But is it because he likes the toy? Or the taste?”

“Who knows.” Penny yawned, stretching her arms over her shoulder. “So, what do you wanna watch? We could see if there’s some Christmas special on.”

“Sure, that sounds nice.” Gumball smiled. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Eh, what do we have that you can make?” Penny plopped herself onto the couch. “I don’t think many places are open on Christmas.”

“Well, I think we got spaghetti, burger patties, ice cream, sausages.”

“Hmm, those all sound good...” 

“You’re not asking me to combine them, are you?”

“No, I’m not pregnant anymore.” She cringed, remembering the abominations her stomach demanded. 

“Well, anything in particular you want?”

Penny rubbed her chin for a few seconds, until she was struck by an idea.

“I’ve got it!” She cried. “Go downstairs, wait for me there.”

“What? But there’s no food down there, there’s only ingredients to make food!”

“Just go, go!” She nudged him towards the door. “Wait behind the counter, I’ve got something to give you.”

“Is it dinner?” 

“You’ll see, just go!” 

“Fine, fine!” The fairy grinned deviously as the cat rushed down the stairs. She crept over to their closet, a temporary storage space for their boxes of old mementos and trinkets. Penny dug through until at last, she found a small box.

The thought had been in her mind for a while, but she figured now was a better time than ever. Pocketing it, she scurried back over to where her son lay, still obsessed with staring at his new bear friend. 

“Hey there, Zachy.” She whispered to him. “Wanna help me give Daddy his present?”

“Mem.”

“Okay then!” She picked him up, placing him gently on her shoulder. “Let’s just get those lil clothes changed!” The fairy’s nose wrinkled as a foul smell hit it. “And… that… changed.”

Wow, being a parent had nothing but perks.

~

Gumball rapped his fingers against the counter in succession, resting his head on his other hand. It had been five minutes since Penny had sent him down here, and he was beginning to get impatient four minutes and forty two seconds ago.

He looked around the store. His part, the cafe, was mostly finished; the stove was installed, they had bought a bunch of non-perishable ingredients, the electricity was set up, and a week ago they had received their brand new fridge and freezer. 

Penny’s part, the art store, was sorely lacking in comparison. All she had been able to do was paint the wall but that just felt like basic restoration. Only a few of her art supplies had been shipped and most of her paintings were still yet to be unpacked from them moving in. However, one had been hung up on the wall; her painting of two sailors battling a giant wave.

Gumball smiled as he caught sight of it. Looking at it always made the couple happy, a testament to how special their relationship was. School sweethearts staying together was far from rare, but most crumbled the second a child was brought in.

But Penny freed Gumball, and Gumball had freed Penny. And Zachary was merely a booster to their love, showing the world what they could do together. The cat was nothing if not committed to what he loved. And he loved Penny and Zachary with twice his heart.

The loveable dork and the hot mess. And Zachy, their little-

“Why, hello there, handsome!” A fairy with a large hat burst in, a fake fur coat draped across her shoulders, and a baby in a picnic basket around her elbow.

She tilted down her gilded sunglasses, batting her eyes at the clueless cat. “Ah hear this is the hottest new cafe in town and of course, me and little ol Mickey here had to come check it out!” Whoever this person was, their southern accent was flawless, absolutely no hint of sarcasm in that statement. Gumball clearly couldn’t recognise the yellow fairy or her blue cat baby.

“Oh, uh, sure… ma’am?” He chuckled, unsure what to say. “What can I get you?”

“Ah, hmmm, well shoot, ah ain’t sure. Here, while ah decide, can you get my little honey darling some milk?”

“Oh, sure! Uhhh, one sec.” He crouched down, checking the cupboards for anything the baby would eat. Random as it may sound, baby food finding its way down here wasn’t too far out of the realm of possibility when it came to Gumball, if the bath bombs behind the counter were anything to go off.

“Oh, thank you, it’s perfect!” The stranger clapped, interrupting the search. Gumball stood up, confused. A bottle of baby milk had suddenly appeared in front of her while the cat wasn’t looking. Clearly provided by said cat. 

“Ok, drink up now, little pardner!” She cooed. ‘Mickey’, albeit confused, started drinking away, quickly forgetting he had been briefly bamboozled.

“Now, for me.” She scratched her cheek, looking at the non-existent menu. “Aw dang, ah can’t decide! Can you just bring me whatever today’s special is?”

“Our special?” Gumball raised an eyebrow. “We don’t have any specials.”

“Oh, surely there’s something! Just, make whatever you feel like.”

“Whatever I feel like…” The cat scratched his chin, his eyes browsing his pantry. Tomato sauce, more tomato sauce, breadcrumbs. A tomato sauce sandwich? No, that’s stupid.

But wait, upstairs there was- Ohohoho. “Be right back!” The stranger heard the feline cry as he darted out of the store. Moments later, he came back carrying a box of ingredients, smirking to himself before disappearing into the kitchen.

The newcomer felt an urge to shield her baby as an orange glow emitted from the dividing kitchen window. She heard sparks fly, drills whir and hammers thud, all accompanied by an evil dark cackling.

A few minutes passed and the door swung open. Gumball carried out a stereotypical silver platter, laying it in front of the fairy.

“To you, total stranger, I present: Penny’s Paints and Patisserie’s first Special dish!”

He lifted the lid to reveal a plate of… well…

“This is spaghetti.”

“Uh, no?” Gumball shook his head. “Well, it is spaghetti, yes, but instead of meatballs I used sausages. And the sauce is a homemade salsa combined with typical crushed tomatoes. And!” He added, proudly. “I fried the whole thing in chicken batter.”

“Sounds… delicious.” The fairy tried to force a smile, anxiously reaching for her fork.

“Go on, try it!” Gumball grinned.

The stranger nodded, scooping up a pitiful amount, hesitantly raising it up to her mouth.

You can just spit it out, you can just spit it out.

At last, she took the bite, anticipating an awful taste. But, she found herself pleasantly surprised.

“Mm! Mmm!” She eagerly forked up more, stunned by the sheer deliciousness. “Why… why is that so good?!”

“Because I’m an amazing cook, Pen- ma’am.”

“Heck yes you are!” The fairy swallowed another forkful. As if he could smell it, ‘Mickey’ began to whimper, jealous of his mother getting to eat something so tasty. “Aw, sorry honey, you’ll have to wait. But don’t worry, I’m sure Daddy will make this for you some day.”

“Oh, is your husband a good cook?”

“He’s meh.”

“Ah.” He watched the fairy wolf down the meal. “You probably shouldn’t eat more than a few bites. The calorie count is somewhere in the thousands.”

“Who cares?!” The stranger licked her fingers. “This is delish!

“Glad you enjoyed it because, well, I'll probably never make it again.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Because it’s an artery hardening machine!” 

“Oh it’s fine! I’ve had way worse fast food than this!”

“Fast food doesn’t do that! ” He pointed to the deep fried leftovers, the grease already leaking out onto the counter, sweeping a pair of salt and pepper shakers away. “I think the batter was overkill.” Before his customer could take another bite, Gumball swiped the plate, dumping it into the trash.

“Why’d you do that?!”

“Penny, I don’t want to risk you having a heart attack!” 

Penny, dropping the act, grabbed Gumball by the collar. “ It would be worth it .”

She released the cat, composing herself. “And I mean, who’s Penny?”

The feline rolled his eyes. “So, ma’am , anything else I can get you?”

“Just the check, please.”

“Certainly.” He scribbled a line on a napkin, sliding it to her. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Mighty kind, thank you.” The stranger patted her pockets. “Gummy, do you have twenty bucks?” The cat discreetly slid the note across the counter.

“Here you go!” The fairy handed the money back to Gumball. “Keep the change, pardner.” 

“Oh, how generous of you.”

The stranger donned her sun hat, picked up her kitten and strutted out, blowing kisses to the chef. A few seconds later, Penny strode in with Zachary on her shoulder. 

“Wow, did you see that? A really pretty woman just left!”

“Yeah,” Gumball smirked. “And another one just came in.” He snickered amusedly to himself, gathering up the used cutlery. “So, what did you want me to do for dinner?”

“Oh! Right, that!.” Penny smacked her forehead. “I forgot all about that. I just made myself a sandwich.” 

“Oh, okay. Did you feed Zachy?”

“Of course I did!”

“Then… why are you down here exactly?”

The fairy just shrugged. “Maybe to give you this?” She produced a small green box. “I realised we got so wrapped up in Zachy’s gift, we forgot what we got each other.”

“Heehee, wrapped up.” Gumball chuckled, taking the present and tearing it open, finding only yet another small box. Although this one was velvety and black, and clearly split in the middle. “Oh, I get it. It’s like one of those Russian doll things-” Just as he was about to peer inside the second box, the fairy grabbed it off of him. “Hey!”

“Hold on there, Gummy.” She smirked. “Before you see what I got you, I gotta see what you got me.” 

“But of course, dear Penelope.” The cat looked around. “Let me just… find where I put it…”

“You kept it down here?”

“Uh, yeah? Otherwise you’d find it, silly!” Gumball scoffed, rifling through the various pots and pans.

“Hm, touché.”

“Aha!” The cat finally found it, a small pink envelope. “Here you go!” He handed it to his girlfriend.

Penny ripped it open and gasped. Two VIP tickets to a concert of her favourite band: The Twin Strawberries.

“Wow!” Pennys eyes bulged. “Honey, this is amazing! How’d you manage these?!”

“Maybe I just know the right people.” The cat winked. “Or y'know, a certain wacky adventure took place that led to me and the event organisers in a perilous situation and I ended up saving them through sheer dumb luck.”

“Oh, so just a regular Tuesday evening for you then.” The fairy shrugged, looking at the box in her other hand. “Kinda makes my gift lame.” She tossed it over to Gumball. “Go ahead, open it.”

“Alright!” The cat grinned. “Time to see what-”

His jaw dropped. Inside was a silver ring, with a drawing of a certain blue cat's face.   

“Penny, what is-”

He turned around, expecting Penny to be level with him. But strangely, she was crouched down on one knee.

“Guess I beat you to it, huh?”

Gumball felt the tears pool. “I- are you-”

“Gumball Watterson, will you marry me?”

Chapter Text

“WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! WAAAAAAAHHHH WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Penny slowly opened her eyes. Sitting herself up, she yawned and stretched. Looking to her right, she took in the sight of her fiancé still fast asleep, his loud snores making his whiskers vibrate.

Rubbing her weary eyes, the fairy leaned over to the bedside table, peering at the baby monitor. She had checked it so much last night, her eyes still hurt. But now, the monitored infant was awake, and crying. Loudly. You would think her crazy, but the kitten’s wails prompted a smile. After all, she could finally have a turn. And Gumball could finally get some sleep for once this time.

“WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”

Oh yeah, the baby. Standing up, she staggered over to the closet, slipping on her dressing gown and slippers. Penny opened her bedroom door, exposing herself to the full volume of Zachary’s cries. 

She shuffled into the hall, peering towards the kitchen. Was there maybe time for cocoa?

“WAAAAHHHHH!!!” 

And there was her answer. Sighing, she made her way into her baby’s room. 

“Heyyyy Zachy.” She cooed, pushing the door open, beginning to adjust her gown. “Are you hung- OH COME ON!”

Gumball sat in a chair by the crib, gently patting the infant's back as he hungrily sucked away at the milk bottle. Noticing his fiancée sulking in the doorway, he stuck his tongue out. “You snooze, you lose.” He whispered.

Penny scoffed. Looking back to their room, she saw their bed was empty. “How did you even-”

“Shhh.” Gumball said softly. “He’s eating.”

The fairy could see the bags under his eyes rivalled hers tenfold. This was the tenth day in a row she had been beaten to tending to the baby in the morning. Groaning, she turned herself around, heading for the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” She called. “I’m making pancakes, how many sounds like you?”

“You know me. At least three minimum, as per usual.” The cat grinned with a wink. He followed her out, having tucked Zachary back into his crib before propping himself onto one of the kitchen stools. Gravity was working against him, and he briefly rested his head on the counter, already falling half asleep.

A blast of cold air washed over Penny as she opened the fridge, clearing away a small fraction of her fatigue. “You don’t have to keep feeding him, you know.” She tutted, pulling the milk out.

“Yeah, but I like having the mornings with him.” He slurred, head still not budging.

“Well, I want a turn sometimes!” Penny huffed. “He’s my son too! And I want to give you a break. You’re gonna burn out soon.” 

“That’s ridiculous.” Gumball chuckled, mustering the effort to pick his head back up. “Burnout is no match for my love for Z… zzzzzzzz.”

The cat’s head thudded back onto the counter, out cold. Penny stifled a snicker as she stirred the batter.

Minutes later, Gumball awoke to the smell of… well, pancakes. Follow along now.

The feline yawned, scratching his chin. It felt like he'd needed to shave more than ever. Wow, parenthood really did accelerate body hair growth. Penny, who had shed her dressing gown and was leisurely stirring some breakfast tea, peered over and smirked.

“Well well, Superdads up again.”

“Ughhhh” Gumball groaned, bobbing his head down. “I don’t wanna be a super dad anymore…”

“Oh, really?” Penny gasped. “That’s a shame, because this sore spot on my knee was-”

Before she could finish, the cat had already darted across the room and was now crouched down in front of her, examining her knee. 

“Is it still sore? Are you okay to walk? Want me to carry you?”

“Gumball!” Penny giggled. “My knee is fine.”

“Oh.” Gumball sheepishly went back to his seat. Still chortling, the fairy slid him a short stack of pancakes and a steaming mug of cocoa. “After all these years, you still need to take things a little easier. Anyway, what’s on the agenda today?”

“Gotta go to work at like, nine?” Gumball shrugged. “Few hours of that, then I gotta be back here to sign for a delivery to the store at three-ish.” 

“Oh, are the paints finally arriving?” Penny’s eyes lit up.

“They should be!”

“Yes!” Penny quietly fist pumped, softly so as to not wake up Zachary. “Eee, we’re so close to opening our store!”

“Heck yeah we are!” The cat cautiously whisper-cheered. “What about you?”

“Gonna do some things around the house. Might take our boy out for a walk, tidy things up, the whole package really. When do you get home? I’ve gotta go help out at the cafe for a bit.”

“I should get back at around one? Unless I’m called out on another last second delivery, ugh.” 

“Okay, well my shift starts at around half past one, so I’ll wait till you’re home then head out?”

“Yeah, that’ll work!” The cat smiled. “Look at us, communicating and planning like adults! Isn’t cooperation fun?”

“Sure is.” Penny yawned, swallowing the last of her cocoa. Seems like the call of sleep was fast beckoning once more. “I’m gonna go back to bed. See ya.”

“Ok, good night- err, morning!” He quickly corrected himself. “By the way, the fridge is running low on food for-”

“I know, I know.” The fairy groaned. “I’ll sort it out later. Mommy needs sleep now.” 

As the young mother headed back to her room, the cat turned back to his pancakes. Licking his lips, he grabbed his knife and fork, eager to dig in. But before he could make the slightest cut into them, a loud cry came from his child’s room.

“Zachy!” He gasped, dropping his tools. He rushed to the door, only to be blocked by Penny suddenly appearing in the doorway, her arms folded. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh, to Zachary?” The cat scoffed, trying to push through.

“Why, haven’t you done enough this morning?” The fairy poked the feline in the chest. “Look at you, you think you’re in any state to parent?!”

“Penny, I got this!”

“So I don’t got this?”

“Well you do, but-”

“Uh uh, you are going to finish eating breakfast and then you are going to work!” His fiancée scolded. “But-” Gumball whimpered. 

“No buts!” Penny interrupted. “Or are you saying you don’t trust me enough to take over this time?” She taunted.

“Well yes, no wait, I mean, no, uh, ‘no’ as in-” He stammered.

“You’re allowed to have a life outside of our baby. You said you’re going to work, so that’s all you are doing! You have had too much contact with the child!”

Gumball pouted. “Are you just jealous because I fed him this morning?”

“Absolutely.”

“Fair enough.” He leaned past her. “Can I at least say bye to him?”

“Nope!”

“Pleeeeease?”

Penny sighed. “Fine, make it quick.”

She stepped aside as the cat zoomed past. “Hiiii Zachary! Are you gonna be good for mommy? Oh yes you are! ‘Cause you’re a good boy!”

“Okay, time’s up.” Penny stepped in, scooping up the baby. “He’s gonna come take a nap with me.”

“Alright.” Gumball brushed tears out of his eyes, and Penny only rolled hers. “I will miss you, son.” He stroked the kitten’s face longingly before slowly walking away to the kitchen, dramatically as possible. At the sight of his father leaving, Zachary could only manage to let his tongue droop out his mouth. 

“Blep.”

“Okay, bye.” Penny laughed, waving her fiancé off. When he was out of earshot, she let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay, Zachy!” She smiled, holding him up. “If you wanna take a nap with me, look adorable!”

The infant blinked blankly.

“Okay then! Let’s go!” The fairy briskly paced down the hallway, mimicking rocket noises as she bobbed him up and down.

“Beep! Beep! Beep!” Penny shrilled, stopping in front of the bed. She put a hand over her mouth, imitating an intercom. “Attention passengers, we have arrived at our destination and will be landing shortly. Nyooooom.”

She lay herself down on the bed, holding Zachary to her chest. The fairy looked at the kitten’s face. It looked so much like his father’s, it had all her favourite features of his. Those cute whiskers, the button nose, that ever-mischievous muzzle. 

Zachary stared back at his mother. Although she knew he couldn’t properly think yet, it touched her to know she and her partner were his entire world. To the baby, the cat and fairy meant comfort, they meant food, warmth, safety, someone to spit up on.

Penny looked down. A slow but steady stream of milk trickled from Zachary’s mouth onto her shirt. The kitten just continued to stare absent-mindedly, unaware he had just ruined Mom’s clothing.

“Great.” She sighed, standing up. She patted her son gently on the back to make him burp, then set him down in the bassinet next to their bed. They had gotten the second sleeping place so the young parents could take naps with their baby and still have a (mostly) good night sleep.

It also worked as a great temporary storage space for the boy when he threw up, peed or pooped on those same parents.

Penny pulled her shirt off and stretched her back, feeling a nice click. She slung the dirty shirt over her shoulder and went over to her drawers, only to find it empty. Which meant the only possible place a fresh shirt could be was- ah, poop.

Gumball sulked, poking and prodding at his pancakes with his fork. Why did her food still have to taste good even when he was grumpy with her? His ears flicked up as he heard his fiancée huff into the room. He turned to look, only to instantly glance away upon noticing her bare skin.

“I have a bra on, Gumball.” Penny deadpanned, slinging her shirt into the dirty basket. Another thing to do later. “We’re gonna be married, you’re allowed to look at me naked. Partly naked, in this case.”

“Doesn’t matter, I still need consent!”

The fairy sighed. They literally have a child together. I guess sometimes having that child means forgetting that your partner can be just as childish. In the first place, she’d seen him naked more times than she could count, and that was before they started dating. “Gumball, you have permission to look at me while I find a new shirt.”

The cat turned back to look at Penny, raising an eyebrow as she dug through the clean laundry pile. 

“He spit up on you?”

“Yep.” She grimaced, tossing a sparkly red dress aside. “Ugh, I have to do a new load, don’t I?”

The cat quietly put down his knife and fork and stood up. “Weeeeelllllll” he said, beginning to tiptoe away. “If you need someone to mind Zachary while you-”

“Nope.” Penny grabbed the cat by the collar, pulling him face to face. One might think she was about to lean in for a kiss, as did Gumball with his cheeks growing rosy. Instead, she merely narrowed her eyes. “Finish your pancakes and get out.”

“I don’t wanna, I wanna be with my baby!”

“You’ve done enough!” Penny growled. “Look at those bags, you could carry coconuts in them! Now eat your hearty breakfast so you have a nice and pleasant day, like you deserve!”

“Fine!” Gumball snapped, tucking back into his breakfast. At last, Penny found one of her shirts, a simple pale pink one with ‘Level 1 Mom’ on it. A gift from a dear friend; her future brother in law.

As she slipped into it, the feline finished his pancakes with a smack of his lips. “Well, I should be going then.” He sighed longingly. “Maybe at the next full moon, I’ll get to see my child.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Penny smirked, kissing him on the cheek. “Whatever lover boy. Go deliver those pizzas.”

Gumball, flustered as ever by her affection, blushed and scampered out of the kitchen. In his daze however, he had forgotten about the skateboard left at the top of the stairs. By him, of course. Where else was he supposed to put it?

Penny, unfazed by the household bangs and crashes, peered over the top of the stairs to see the crumpled cat wincing on the ground. “You okay?” She called.

Gumball gave a feeble thumbs up, finally picking himself up. Penny chuckled and blew him a kiss. As the cat trudged out the door, she grabbed a marker, adding another line to a nearby tally.

‘Gumball falls down stairs.’

Wow, he’d done it 16 times this week alone. Surely, he was bound to break some kind of record. It could be the first thing he breaks that isn’t a valuable item. Or a bone.

“Waaaahhhhh!”

Penny turned, hearing her baby cry. The wailing wasn’t as loud as usual, which in Zachary-speak meant he needed changing.

Oh, Joy.

Wincing at the noise, the mother went back to her room and found Zachary bawling his eyes out. 

Penny yawned, picking the kitten up. “There, there.” She hummed, tenderly cradling him. Feeling comforted, Zachary’s crying subsided a little. “It’s okay, sweetie, I’m here.” 

The fairy carried the baby back to the nursery, laying him out on the changing table. After she had changed him and wrapped him back up in his onesie, the infant began to purr. Penny blushed, smitten by the wholesomeness this little creature emitted.

“Who’s my cute little guy?” She cooed, scratching him behind the ears. With her clean hand of course. Not the one currently holding the diaper. It was something that always worked well on Gumball, it felt only right seeing it do the trick on Zachary too.

As the fairy walked away to dispose of it, the baby started to whimper, eventually breaking into a full on bawl. Again.

Penny sighed. “I’ll be with you in a second, sweetie.” After throwing the mess in the bin and washing her hands, the fairy returned to her still crying kitten. She picked the infant up, patting him on the back once more. Zachary let out a little burp, but as soon as he was set back down, the waterworks continued.

Ruling out gas, the fairy scratched her head. Zachary just continued to wail. Penny began to pull down the collar of her shirt. “Are you hungry?” 

The baby cried even louder. “Okay, okay, not hungry!” Penny tapped her foot impatiently, trying to think. “Oh!” She snapped her fingers, scooping her newborn up. “Is this what you want?” 

She held him gently. The crying stopped, Zachary instead nuzzling against his mother. “You just wanted Mommy to hold you, didn’t you?” Penny chuckled.

“How bout we take you for a walk?” She carried the baby back out to the living room, grabbing her boots with her free hand. Laying them on the floor, she sat down on the couch, intending to slide into them in a way that wouldn’t rustle her son.

“Okay, Zachy.” She chirped, sliding one boot on. “We’re gonna find your stroller and… and…”

Oh, wow, this couch is actually really comfy. Wait, no! Have to get up and… oh, but it feels nice…

“C’mon Zach…” She mumbled. “…ary! She jutted awake, remembering her husband’s rule. Was he her husband? Were they married yet? No, no, they were just engaged. Heh heh, engaged…

Gumball yawned, closing the front door behind him. It had been a gruelling shift, but he had gotten lucky. A fire had broken out at the pizzeria while he was out on a delivery, leading to the cat being let off the clock an hour early. Score! Sure, his job stability was in total jeopardy but at least now he could have some time with his family.

As he crept up the stairs, his ears twitched. No noticeable noises, Zachary must be having a nap. Penny too, probably. The baby had her running herself ragged, poor thing. The cat pushed the door to the nursery open, surprised to find the crib empty. 

Penny wouldn’t take him for a walk without locking the door, she was too particular. She must be out in- ah.

The calculations stopped as he saw the adorable sight. Penny held Zachary safely in her arms on the couch, both fast asleep. Gumball crept closer, now able to hear the kitten’s purring. A sound he could never get sick of. Now he knew what it was like for his mom when he was little, too.

The cat looked over, seeing the remaining boot still on the ground. He sighed longingly, stroking his fiancée’s hair. “You fell asleep halfway through getting ready, didn’t you?”

Kissing her on the forehead, he collected up her boots and spoiled clothing, tossing them into the washing machine. Returning to his to-be wife, he shed his work cap and sauntered lazily over to the nearby chair, intending to join the nap party, when a thought struck him.

Penny looked wasted. She barely clung to the infant. She was a fair bit smaller than she was when they had Zachary, both of the parents were. Posed at the right angle, his and Penny’s ribs were visible. The baby had taken so much of their energy, neither really found the time to eat, only really having what the other one forced them to.

She needed a break.

He grabbed a small bag of flour from the kitchen, and tiptoed back to the couch. With the precision of a treasure hunter, the cat gently lifted the baby out of the fairy’s arms, replacing him with the flour.

Once Zachary was safely in his father’s hands, Gumball scurried away. Finding the stroller (in the bathtub for some reason), he strapped his son in, giving him a kiss for safety. He peeked at the living room, seeing Penny still asleep on the couch. Suddenly, she stirred, making the cat gasp, only to nestle further into the couch, bringing her little flour baby closer.

Gumball breathed a sigh of relief and began sneaking away to the stairs, only to turn back. That position couldn’t be good for her. He sighed, rolling up his sleeves.

With all his spousal strength, the cat gently picked the sleeping fairy up, carrying her to their room. He tucked her into bed, making sure she still clutched her flour, then returned to his child.

While Gumball often tripped or fell or plummeted down these stairs, he made sure never to slip when carrying his child. Lifting the stroller over his head, he carefully made his way down to the front door.

“Wanna see the world, little guy?” The father pushed the door open. Zachary’s eyes widened as he saw the beautiful, wide and wonderful world of concrete streets, cars rattling by and some rats hosting an illegal cockfighting session.

“Ok yeah, it’s not that pretty. Let’s go to the park instead.”

He pushed the stroller onward, minding the holes in the pavement and various dangerous fungi growing from a discarded cheesecake.

Minutes later, Penny finally woke. Safely holding the weight on her chest in one arm, she rubbed her eyes, pushing herself up.

“Cmon Zekari, you need to have a nom…” the fairy mumbled. Huh, when did she get to her room? She staggered over to the nearby chair and plopped herself down. Pulling her collar down a little, she held the baby to her chest and sat back, eager to get this over with.

Penny waited for the feeling of Zachary feeding, but it didn’t come. She opened a sleepy eye, looking down at her lap.

Oh, this wasn’t her kid.

…Oh, this wasn’t a kid at all!

The fairy burst out to the living room looking around for her baby. She was confused, until she saw the cap on the ground. Gumball’s cap. She pulled out her phone, checking the time. 12:42.

“Ugh,” she snorted. Sure, it was close enough to his turn but still, she had told him to take a break! And here he was, just adding more to his ever-piling plate! Grumbling to herself, she began to take the flour back to the kitchen, only for her phone to start ringing.

The fairy groaned, tapped the green button and held the phone up to her ear. “Yes?” She sighed.

“Penny!” The familiar stressed voice cried. “We need you to come in early! Every other coffee shop in town caved in and it’s about to be the lunch rush! We need all hands!”

“The other shops what?” Penny tried to ask, but Larry had already hung up. Sighing, she went back to her bedroom to retrieve her uniform.

Stupid fiancé, taking their baby eighteen minutes early. Probably longer, knowing him. And so what if she was asleep at the time? It felt like she wasn’t contributing at all to their child, like she had just given birth to him and then stepped back while the cat did everything. She wanted to feel useful too! The fairy grumbled all the way to the coffee shop.  

“Hrrngh, stupid loving father…” she mumbled, clocking in. “Being a supportive and active participant in his child’s life, how dare he….”

“Penny!” Carmen squeaked, jumpscaring the fairy. “Thank goodness you’re here!”

“Yeah, I am.” Penny sighed. “So, why did I have to come in early? What happened to the other coffee shops exactly?”

“A sinkhole.” Carmen said, blankly.

“A sinkhole?”

“Yeah, a sinkhole. Under every one.”

“I-” Penny was about to protest, but stopped herself. “Okay, makes sense. But why is this such a big deal?”

“Because.” Larry growled, emerging from the back room with a dark look on his face. “Every overworked desk jockey, hipster and middle aged couple three fights away from a divorce will have exactly one place to get the pastries and caffeine boost they need. This store.”

“Oh.”

“‘Oh’ is right.” Larry nodded. “We need you to prepare yourself for insanely specific orders, petty complaints and requests to see the manager. Except… you know… much more of them.”

Penny looked to Carmen, who only shrugged. The fairy laughed.

“Larry, I’ve been taking care of a baby for the past few weeks with no maternity leave.” She smirked, cracking her knuckles. “I can handle some coffee addicts.”

“Good.” Larry turned his back to the girls, glaring out the large windows. “The rush is coming…”

He glanced back to see the baristas’ unamused faces. “Sorry, my doctor said I should be taking these new pills.” He pulled out a small capsule, popping one of the pills into his mouth. “They just have the side effect of making everything I say… dramatic…”

“Uh-huh.” Penny nodded. “So, what time does it usually start?”

Carmen peered at her phone and gulped. “Three minutes ago…”

The ground shook. Penny grabbed the counter for balance. It rumbled again, sending plates and cutlery tumbling. The three workers looked outside, just to see a swarm of customers, bigger than any morning rush. All trying to get in. If this place were to fall victim to a sinkhole itself, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what had caused it.

“My goodness…”

“My goodness, you’re cute!” Masami chirped, tickling the baby’s nose. Gumball smiled, resting his arm against the picnic table.

“Yes he is, aren’t you?” He gushed. “Who’s me and Mommy’s pride and joy? Yes, it’s you! It’s you, buddy!”

“Speaking of Mommy,” Masami said, sitting up. “How’s Penny doing?”

“She’s um… fine.” The cat sweated a little, picturing her reaction to finding Zachary gone.

“You seem nervous, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine!” Gumball scratched the back of his neck. “How are you and Molly faring?”

“Oh, we broke it off a few weeks ago.” The cloud sighed, looking down. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Gumball reached out, patting her on the… umm…

“Am I patting the equivalent of a shoulder here?”

“Close enough. And it’s fine. We’re still friends. Just gonna be putting myself back out there, I guess.”

“Good for you.” The cat leaned back, returning to minding his son. Masami chuckled.

“I still cannot believe Penny proposed to you. You tried, what, seventeen times during high school?”

“Sixteen.” Gumball corrected. “One time was just my phone autocorrecting ‘carriage’. I guess I’d just kind of forgotten about it. These past few months, I just thought it’d be too much for her, with having the baby and everything.”

“Ugh, you guys are so sweet it’s killing me.” The cloud smirked, making the cat blush. “Hey, you wanna get some coffee?”

“Uhhh, sure.” Gumball nodded, scooping up his son. “Any particular place?”

“Why not that shop Penny works at? Triple C, was it?”

The feline gulped. “Uhhh… suuuure.” He glanced at his phone, seeing there was still a few minutes before Penny was supposed to arrive. Surely, if they were quick…

“Dude, you seem on edge anytime I mention Penny, are things okay between you two?” Masami quizzed.

“Yeah it’s just…” Gumball sighed, strapping Zachary back into his stroller. “I kind of… stole him?”

“…. You what.”

The cat chuckled nervously. “See, I got home early when it was her turn to mind him and she was asleep so I figured I’d just… y'know, take him a bit early? Without her knowing…”

“So, what, she’d be mad if she saw you?”

“Extremely…”

“Then why’d you take him? Couldn’t you have just waited till she was up?”

“My attention span has been shredded, I don’t even know what ‘wait’ means anymore.” The cat pouted. “And also, she was really cute sleeping there so I didn’t wanna wake her…” His cheeks glowed red at the memory.

“But you did wanna take your baby from her?”

Gumball crouched down, pointing to the kitten. “Who wouldn’t wanna steal this little guy off their sleeping spouse?”

“I- okay, you have a point there.”

“And also, she really needs this break. She just keeps adding more and more chores to her list, and I tell her I can do them, but she insists! I’m just… it feels like she doesn’t expect anything from me, any help. Like she thinks she’s all alone.”

“And your fix was… taking her child?”

“Relieving her of duty and giving her a well earned rest.”

“More like forcing a well earned rest.”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“Either way, fighting or not, does this affect us getting coffee? Because I need some caffeine.” Masami scratched her chin. “Penny wouldn’t be at work yet, would she?”

“Hmm, I guess not.” The cat considered. “Unless she got called in early for some weird nonsensical reason.”

“Hey, what are the chances of that?”

Meanwhile, due to a weird, nonsensical reason, Penny found herself hastily darting around the shop, taking orders from left, right and center. She finally returned to Carmen at the counter, panting.

“Phew al-alright!” The fairy took a deep breath. “Four mochiattos, three blagledos, seven caramel creamers, five black coffees, five white coffees, five half white, half black coffees, five coffee blacks, coffee black five, five half coffees, four apple juices in coffee, eight lattes and about-” She checked her notes. “54 croissants, 92 donuts, 63 slices of pear pie and seven loaves of bread.” How she wished a sinkhole really would open up and swallow her up instead.

“Got it.” Carmen nodded, brewing a fresh pot. She looked at her coworker’s drained expression and gave a reassuring smile. “Hey, it could be worse. You could be the one making the majority of all this.” The cactus pointed to Larry, the rock’s arms flying around in a frenzy, making dozens of drinks, several spilling, causing the already severely stressed out stone to spiral further.

“I am very happy here just making basic coffee.” Carmen scoffed, setting another cup onto Penny’s tray. “No ‘three pumps strawberry venti blah blah blah’ for me. Just milk and beans, like it should be.” 

The two watched as Larry short circuited after adding too much cream to an Americano.

“Go crush his dreams.” Carmen tapped the new batch of orders on Penny’s notebook. 

“I can’t even begin to understand coffee. It’s just boiled dirt if you ask me.”

Carmen raised an eyebrow. “I thought parents like you lived off coffee?”

Penny smirked. “I’m a cocoa girl. And you see, Gumball makes thi-”

She suddenly stopped, eyebrows raised. Her cactus companion was confused. “Uh, Penny?” She snapped her fingers in the fairy’s face, prompting no response. Penny just stared at something outside. When Carmen followed her gaze, she saw two blue cats and a cloud approaching the store.

Ah.

“And that’s how I think I can get him to start speaking in the next two weeks or so.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Masami nodded, before noticing the glaring fairy behind the counter. “Umm, Gumball? You might wanna-”

“No, no, I'm firm on this.” The cat insisted. “Mark my words, by the time my son is six months old, he’ll be calling me Dada like it's nothing!”

“Gumball, Penny is-”

“Oh he’ll be saying Mama too, don’t worry. I just don’t want him to-”

“Gumball.” A voice spoke from behind him. The cat froze. He turned around slowly to see his fiancée standing there, tapping her foot.

“Oh… hiii Penny.” The cat cracked a nervous smile, suddenly drenched in sweat. 

“Why are you carrying our child? When it was still my turn to have him?”

“Welllll…” Gumball stammered. “I mean, as you said yourself, you were asleep and then, uhh, you clearly got called into work… so it was for the best… right?”

Penny’s eyebrow raised even higher. The cat gulped. “But hey, it was an honest mistake and- hey, look over there!” He pointed at the coffee machine behind his girlfriend.

Without thinking, the fairy turned around to look only to realise she’d been tricked. But Gumball had already disappeared alongside their son, leaving Zachary’s stroller and Masami far behind.

Penny went red, smoke pouring out of her ears. The cloud girl merely stepped out of the doorway, pointing in the direction the cat had gone.

Zachary was bamboozled by the sudden change of pace. Seconds ago, they had been merely wombling along, but now Daddy was sprinting as fast as he could, holding him tightly to his chest.

Gumball kept glancing behind him, trying to ensure he wasn’t followed. 

“C’mon , Zachy, we gotta go!” Gumball cried, seemingly unaware Zachary did not affect their speed at all.

“Zachary, Why aren’t you running?! Oh, right….  Newborns can’t run.”

“GUUUMMMBBAAAALLLLLLLL!!!” A voice roared. “PUT DOWN MY SON!”

“You mean our son!” He called back. Glancing behind him, he could swear he saw her eyes ignite with flames.

“Eek!” Gumball shrieked, running faster. Soon, he heard determined footsteps catching up behind. There was a blur of orange, and suddenly his load was lighter.

“Oh, hey! This is much easier!” He cheered, before noticing he was no longer holding anything. Penny dashed ahead of him, now clutching their son.

“Hey!” He yelled. “It’s my turn with him!”

“Didn’t stop you taking him from me!” Penny jeered. 

Darn, she was right. Zachary was even more confused. Now Mommy was the one holding him. He smiled up at his mother, the fairy glancing briefly down back at him.

“Heeeeey sweetie.” Penny cooed. “Just hold tight, okay?” She sprinted on, clutching the precious bundle. She leaped off a nearby bench and over a high brick wall, landing right next to the busy freeway.

“Stop, Penny!” The cat called, closing in.

“Never!” She turned around, ready to run more, only to be halted by the rush of cars.

“Woah!”

Gumball screeched to a halt next to her. “Thiiiiis is too dangerous an environment for our baby, isn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“Back to the street?”

“Yep.”

The couple calmly returned back over the wall onto the calmer side street. Smiling at her boyfriend, Penny nodded. Then she started running again.

“Hey!” The cat gave chase.

Penny ducked into an alley, the feline sprinting by without noticing. This form clearly wasn’t working, not for running with a baby.

Setting Zachary down on the ground, she considered her options. Her dragon form is too big to hold him, the mouse is too small. She didn’t want to scare him with anything like a Minotaur. But maybe…

Curious, she shifted into a rabbit, holding Zachary on her back. “Mommy’s just gonna try this, okay honey?”

She began to scurry away, only to find the baby hard to hold, despite the speed advantage. Okay, plan B, wolf.

She shifted, immediately feeling the load lighten.

“Ah, that’s better. Okay, off we go!” 

Wait… there wasn’t any weight at all. Penny looked behind her, just to see a cat running away with something familiar.

“GUMBALL!!!” She growled, shifting back to a fairy and giving chase.

They leapt over parked cars, pedestrians and passed out policemen, Zachary changing hands multiple times. At last, with his kid in tow, Gumball tripped outside a supermarket, landing flat on his face, but still making sure to safely hold Zachary up. Penny pounced on her fiancé, trying to swipe the baffled (yet unharmed!) infant.

“Give him to me, Gumball!” She roared.

“No!”

The two scuffled on the ground, both gently trying to seize their child. Scuffle is a strong word, it was really a slightly aggressive pillow fight but with hands.

After blocking Gumball’s palm, Penny slapped it aside, pinning him down.

“WHY WONT YOU JUST TAKE A BREAK?!” Both cried, before immediately replacing their anger with confusion.

“Huh?” Gumball asked.

“You wanted me to take a break?” Penny scratched her head.

“Yeah.”

“Okayyy.” The fairy nodded.

“Aaaand you want me to-”

“Yeah.”

“…Huh. Well, I-”

“FREEZE!”

The two froze as french fry and coffee officers flooded the scene, pointing batons, tasers and other weapons of an age-inappropriate nature at the couple.

“You’re under arrest!” The doughnut chief yelled, bursting through the crowd of officers.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Gumball cried, throwing his hands up. “We didn’t do anything!” Penny instinctively grabbed Zachary, who’d somehow fallen fast asleep throughout all this.

“Oh, suuuure you didn’t,” The chief scoffed, pulling out his handcuffs. “Tell it to the judge.”

As one of the officers handcuffed Gumball, another confiscated Zachary, locking the fairy in her own pair of cuffs.

“Officer, there must be some mistake!” She cried.

“No, there isn’t.” The pastry sighed, already dreaming of his lunch break. “We had reports of a cat and some yellow thing stealing a baby from each other. And frankly, we don’t take kindly to kidnapping here.”

“Yellow thing?!”

“But officer, as parents,” Gumball snickered, “a kid napping is the least of our worries!” He looked to Penny, who narrowed her eyes at him. “Right, right, bad time, I know.”

Penny tried to explain. “Officer, you see we-”

“I don’t really care which of you kidnapped it.” Chief Doughnut yawned.  “If I bring two people in it makes us look like we’re tougher on crime, so save it for the station.”

“But neither of us- hey!” Gumball was cut off as he was forced into the police car. The doughnut held Zachary by the scruff of his neck. “One kidnapped baby.” He passed the infant to one of his fry officers. “Bag him, Johnny.”

“You got it, Chief!”

“Hey!” Penny thumped on the glass. “Be careful with my baby!”

The chief groaned. “And take them down to the station, would ya? I’ve got a 6-27 to deal with urgently on 4th street.”

“Yes, sir! Good luck, sir!”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks. Oh yeah, which flavour did you want?”

“Strawberry, sir, if they have it, sir!”

“Roger that.” He signalled to the other officers to move. “Let’s go get some ice cream, boys.”

Penny sat fuming in the back of the police car, watching as the squad departed. Gumball was in the seat next to her, too ashamed to say anything. The silence was deafening. 

The fairy perked up as Johnny entered the driver’s seat, carrying Zachary. “Hey, what are you doing with our son?!” 

“He’s just gonna sit up here with me for the meantime, ma’am.” Johnny tucked Zachary into a little evidence baggie with his head poking out, the kitten snuggling in quickly.

“But you don’t have his car seat, or his food! Please, just uncuff me and I can-”

“Ma’am.” Johnny interrupted, brandishing a roll of duct tape. “I know how to transport infants. Now don’t make me use this on you too.” He taped Zachary’s bag to the passenger seat. A clearly foolproof homemade car seat. “And whatever ‘I’m innocent’ shtick you have planned, I don’t wanna hear it.”

The mother relented, choosing instead to grumble as the cruiser rattled away. “Who do these cops think they are, taping our son to a car, I swear…”

It was then that Penny heard the quiet sniffling from her right. She turned her head to see Gumball trying to hide his tears from her, curling up into a ball as much as the cuffs allowed him to.

“…Gumball?” She asked, softening her voice. 

“ I just… I wanted you to have a break…”

“A break?” Penny scoffed. “Yeah, sure, I’m the one who needs it.”

“But you literally made a whole tiny person and then gave birth!” Gumball pointed out. “And then you’ve had to feed him, and change him, and get spit on by him, and what have I done?!”

“Uh, everything?!?!” The fairy cried. “Gumball, who’s been up every morning feeding him before I can even get out of bed? Who’s been coming home after ten hour shifts, only to still make dinner for us? Who’s been massaging my feet and making me cocoa every morning? Who’s been managing the construction of the entire store we’re making?” She scooted as close as she could to him. “It’s all you, baby.”

The cat blushed. “But… you’re the one always sorting out groceries, and doing the washing, and making sure I haven’t set stuff on fire. Oh and... what else… oh, yeah, you gave birth.”

“So, what, do you think my job is done after that? Do I not get to do anything else?”

“That’s not what I-”

“Gumball.” Penny held a finger to his mouth, although the handcuffs made her hold a wrist instead. “This is a team effort. We are in this together. And honey, you’re doing great. I don’t need you to say you’ve got me, because I know you do. But I need you to know that I got you.”

The cat gave a little smile, looking into her eyes. He was reminded of all the adventures they’d gone on, all the chaotic dates, awkward parties and romantic gestures. No matter what, she’d be right there for him, like he was for her.

Wow that is mushy.

“Okay, Penny.” He nodded. “You’ve got me.”

“Good.” His fiancée sighed. “So will you stop feeding him every morning and just get some sleep? Take some days off. I think we both deserve those.”  

“As long as you stop staying up staring at that monitor.”

“Works for me.” She leaned in, kissing him on the lips. “Superdad.” 

The car came to a halt outside the station. Gumball suddenly remembered. “Oh yeah, we got arrested.” Johnny stepped out with Zachary tucked under his elbow. More cops arrived, marching the couple into the building.

“Gumball, what do I say?!” Penny whispered. “I’ve never been arrested because of my own actions! Yours, plenty of times, but my own, never!”

“Don’t worry.” Gumball soothed. “Just let me handle it. I’m great with cops.” Unscripted, the cat suddenly sneezed. “Gesundheit.” A nearby officer remarked. “Oh, real mature, Detective Jerkface!” The feline snarled, lunging towards the cop, only held back by his escort. “I’ll make you eat those words!!!”

The fairy rolled her eyes. “Somehow I feel even less confident now.”

After a quick tasing and a few more minutes of paperwork, the couple was sat down in front of the chief’s desk. Zachary, still asleep snuggled in his evidence bag, sat next to the chief’s computer. The doughnut was scribbling something onto a sheet or paper.

“Um, officer?” Penny raised an eyebrow.

“Gimme a second.” The chief sketched even harder. “And just put a seven there… okay, what can I do for you?”

“You… arrested us?” Gumball asked, shaking his handcuffs for emphasis.

“Oh… oh yeah, we did!” The doughnut reached into a stack of papers. “What was it for, public urination?”

“What?!”

“Wait, don’t tell me…” He browsed through more papers. “Was it for selling raccoons without a permit?” 

“That’s a crime?” Penny asked. “I mean, no we kidn- you arrested us for kidnapping. Allegedly.”

“Oh, that’s right. Let me just pull up that report.” He opened a drawer on his desk, a mountain of reports flooding out. “Oh, excuse me, guess we’ve got a lot of unfinished reports.”

Penny squinted at a file that landed in front of her. “The parrot shaver of ‘85? You have unsolved crimes from the ‘80s?”

“The 1880s,” the chief corrected, still sorting through papers. 

“There was an 18?” the feline said, stupified, and Penny double-facepalmed. She was still handcuffed, after all. “Wow,” Gumball sighed, leaning in close to Penny. “I can’t believe people here committed such weird crimes,” he whispered.

Penny eyed her partner, who was attempting to scratch his nose with his foot, apparently forgetting that his hands were still perfectly capable of doing the job even while cuffed. She shrugged. “Eh, I don’t find it hard to believe.”

A soda officer ran into the room. “Chief! Someone just stole the mall’s fountain with a tricycle!"

“Damn it, Private, I’m busy! Sort it yourself!” He rifled through even more papers. Other cops leapt to their feet, following the can out the door.

“Aha!” The chief slammed a file in front of the couple. “A winged fairy and blue cat charged with the kidnapping of a minor! So, got anything to say for yourselves?”

Penny blinked. “This doesn’t feel like real police work.”

“Objection!” Gumball cried. “There wasn’t any kidnapping, I was just out with my son!”

“I see…” the chief studied Zachary next to the elder cat, noting the resemblance. He pointed to Penny. “So you kidnapped this man’s son…”

“Hey, I’m his mother!”

The doughnut scratched his head. Or, the top of his body? “Uhhhh….”

“The baby’s mother.” The fairy rolled her eyes.

“Oh!” The chief lit up, pulling out his notepad. “Ah, so just a regular custody dispute, I see.”

“What?!” Gumball sputtered. “We don’t have any custody agreements.”

“Really? That’s unusual for a divorced couple…”

“We are not divorced!” Penny cried.

“Then what are you?!” The chief demanded. 

“Engaged!”

The doughnut tore the page out of his notebook. “Alright, let’s start over then. So why did you take the baby?” He pointed his pen at the fairy.

“Because he took him from me while I was sleeping.”

“Because I wanted her to take a break!” Gumball put in. 

“And I wanted him to have a break.”

“We’ve both been kinda… overworking ourselves with parenting.” The cat admitted, sheepishly.

The chief sighed. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a key. “Alright. It seems this was all a misunderstanding.”

“Really? That’s i-mmph?” Gumball was interrupted by a hand being clamped over his mouth. 

“Wow, thanks officer!” Penny grinned, silencing her boyfriend as they were uncuffed.”

“Of course.” He tipped his cap. “Now get out of here you little scamps. I’ve got police work to do.” And he went back to writing on his easy-solve sudoku.

Gumball and Penny glanced at each other, the latter clearing her throat to get the chief’s attention. The chief looked up, confused. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Penny asked. Still baffled, the doughnut looked around. “Something you’re supposed to give us?”

The officer slowly reached for a pen on his desk, handing it to the fairy. Losing patience, Penny shifted into a dragon, slamming her claws onto the desk . “GIVE ME BACK MY-” She switched back to normal, taking a deep breath. “Sorry.” Dragon again. “-OUR BABY!!!” Fairy again. Gumball put a hand on her shoulder, and smiled reassuringly, the two nodding together.

Pale, and with icing melting, the doughnut handed the unphased infant back to the fairy before fainting. Gumball and Penny turned around in a huff, carrying their baby out of the station. “That did not feel like proper police protocol.” Gumball sniffed. 

A few feet away from the station, the couple sat down at a bench, Penny resting Zachary on her knee.

“So,” she said. “How do we stop this from happening again?”

“I dunno…” Gumball scratched his chin. “I think we need a new system.”

“Forget a system. What we both need right now is some time to actually sleep.” The fairy pondered.

“And we both need to eat.” The cat muttered, feeling his ribs.

“Shouldn’t we just share the work load?” Penny gently bounced their son up and down. “I do one day, you do another, works better than us constantly trying to shoulder the other’s burden.”

“I like shouldering your burden though.” Gumball pouted.

“I know you do.” The fairy patted him on the back. “But you need some time to yourself. I can manage him half the time.”

“Isn’t that too much for you?” The cat asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I dunno, is it too much for you, Superdaddy?” Penny teased.

“Of course not!”

“Then it’s fine for me!” Penny declared. “How about this, if you don’t feed the baby, you make breakfast. Breakfast or baby, simple.”

“So I have to feed my baby or my baby.” Gumball grinned, putting an arm around the fairy.

“That’s one way to word it.” She giggled. Hearing a beep, Penny pulled out her phone with her free hand. “I should get back to work.” She sighed, looking at the thousands of messages from Carmen and Larry. “Do you wanna take him?” She offered the baby to her fiancé.

“Oh…” Gumball was taken aback. “Sure.” Penny kissed the baby cat on the forehead and the adult cat on the cheek. “I’ll see you two later. Be good for Daddy, Zachy.” She walked away, waving to her partner.

Zachary chose this as the optimal time to wake up, yawning before staring at his father with eyes of wonder.

And then immediately started crying because he was hungry.

“WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”

Penny stopped in her tracks, snapping back around. Gumball glared at her. Penny stared back at the baby, beads of sweat trickling down her forehead as she resisted the urge to rush to him.

Finally, she turned back around and shrugged. “Oh well. He’s not my problem right now.” And she continued on her way to work. Gumball smiled, turning his attention back to comforting the kitten. After he was calm, he pulled out his phone to text Masami.

“hey sorry ab all that”

She replied. “u guys good?”

“ye just some police trouble”

“sorry for ditching u”

“its cool. is lil guy ok?”

“yea, are u at the cafe still?”

“yep want me to bring his stroller to u?”

Gumball sighed with relief.

“thatd be great.”

“kk meet u at joyful burger. fill me in on the deets”

“thx”

Suddenly, a ping appeared at the top of his phone.

Message from Penny (Baby).

“pictures of him.”

“now.”

“pls.”

“scratch that, pictures of both of u pls”

Gumball chuckled, pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of him holding Zachary, immediately receiving heart emojis from Penny.

“SOOOO CUUTE love u both”

“love u too”

~

“WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! WAAAAAAAHHHH WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Penny slowly opened her eyes. She rolled over onto her side, locking eyes with her fiancé. He was in the same condition as her, just having barely woken up after a measly two hours of sleep.

The parents looked at each other, before both leapt up out of bed at Mach speed.

“I’ll get h-” they said in unison, quickly pausing to let the other finish. Gumball cleared his throat. “Wow, I sure am tired.” He said, in a dry scripted manner. “Can you feed Zachary, Penny?”

“No way, Gumball. It’s totally your turn. I need to go back to sleep.” Penny tried to sound unenthusiastic.

“But Penny, I had a long day and- I can’t take this anymore, I want to feed him!” The feline began to sprint for the door. “No!” Penny pounced on him, holding the cat to the floor. “My turn!” she hissed.

Gumball gulped. He and Zachary were the cats in the family, but Penny has a hiss that rivalled even that. “Fine,” he yielded. “I mean, yaaay, I get to go back to bed.” He tried to hide his frown as he moped back to the bed, burying himself deep under the covers.

Well, maybe sleeping instead of tending to Zachary wasn’t so bad. He listened as the sounds of his son crying faded, and his fiancee returned to their bed, cuddling up behind him.

“Thanks, Gummy.” Penny whispered. “You can feed him tomorrow morning.” She scratched his ears, making him purr.

“Stooop.” he groaned. “That tickles.”

“I’ll stop when I get breakfast.” the fairy snickered, tickling harder.

“I’ll make breakfast later.” The cat shut his eyes again, still purring.

“Then I guess we’ll have to stay like this for a while.”

Gumball smiled, rolling over to face her.

“Fine by me.”