Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Male alphas didn’t usually catch Evan’s eye but the guy at the end of the bar had been so hot. He was tall and muscular but still lean and he had high cheekbones and a cleft. His hair had a curl to it but it was short so it was hard to tell. He’d ordered a cocktail which Evan had liked because its much more fun for him than getting a beer out of a fridge and he’d even stuck a little umbrella in it. The guy had snorted but still said thank you and Evan’s bar had been on the floor if someone with basic manners was getting his attention in that way.

He'd smelt good. Dark chocolate and whiskey. He thought the whiskey was the alpha anyway, hard to tell when he was surrounded by alcohol but there’s something about human scents that make them different from their real life counterparts.

It had been a quiet night so Evan had wandered closer to the alpha, taking quick looks at him out of the corner of his eye and watching as the man twirled his straw in his drink and slowly sipped it, fingers tapping on the bar top. Eventually Buck had screwed up his courage and stepped in front of the other guy.

“You need anything else?” He’d asked and had had to swallow quickly when the alpha had looked up at Evan through his lashes.

The guy had twirled his straw once more before he sat up a bit straighter and grinned. “Just some company.”

“You're in luck tonight then.” Evan had said as he looked around the empty enough bar and smiled back.

“I guess I am.” The guy took another sip. “I’m Tommy.”

“Evan.” He leant forward in a way he usually didn’t, forearms resting on the bar and putting him almost level with Tommy. “What brings you here then, Tommy?”

“To Peru or this bar specifically?”

“Both.”

“I had some vacation days to take before I started my new job and I wanted a drink.” Tommy smirks down at his cocktail and takes another sip.

“Is it good?” Evan rocks forward slightly, eager to hear what Tommy thinks.

“I’m usually not a cocktail guy but you looked so happy to make one. Its nice though. Fruity.”

“Good.” Evan couldn’t help ducking his head, heat spreading across his cheeks. “What do you do then? If you’re starting a new job.”

“Oh. I’m a firefighter. Going from just doing groundwork to getting recertified as a pilot.” Evan knew his eyes had widened at that.

Firefighters are sexy, sue him.

“That’s hot.” Slipped out before he could stop it but Tommy had just thrown his head back and laughed, exposing the long column of his neck and Evan’s heart had jumped. No male alpha had ever really made him feel like that before, all heart speeding up and skin feeling warm but he’d never really stopped to talk to any of them that had caught his eye before. Or maybe Tommy was just special.

“Literally.” Tommy had joked, sucking up the last of his drink and gently pushing it aside. Evan couldn’t have stopped the laugh that burst out of him even if he’d tried.

“That was bad.”

“Hey, come on.”

Evan had just shaken his head chuckling but he was intrigued. He had wanted to know more about the man sat opposite him. Tommy had been looking straight back at him and Evan had felt the first inklings of slick gathering. That didn’t happen a lot with the suppressants and birth control he was on so Tommy must have been making an impression.

“You want another?” He gestured to the glass Tommy had pushed aside but the alpha shook his head, eyes fixed on Evan.

“Just the company is fine right now.” Evan had shivered at the low rumble of Tommy’s voice and slick really had started to gather then, a faint smell of orange tainting the air around them.

“You know,” he’d started, “I have to close up soon.” He hadn’t had to do any such thing but Evan had been willing to risk the chewing out he’d get if someone had found out he’d closed up early. “Maybe you could stick around and we could, I don’t know, take a walk on the beach?”

Tommy had bitten his bottom lip then released it as a smile spread across his face. He’d agreed and even helped Evan with his closing duties and then they had headed out. They’d talked quietly, shoulders brushing and Evan had made a mental note that he should bulk up a bit more because Tommy looked good. Evan’s pinky had brushed the back of Tommy’s hand quite by accident but Tommy had clearly taken it as an invitation and tangled his fingers with Evan’s. Their hands had fit together so nicely.

They’d sat down on the beach for half an hour before Evan plunged forward and kissed Tommy. Large hands had grabbed his waist and Evan wasn’t sure if Tommy had pulled or Evan had pushed but he’d ended up straddling Tommy, kisses feverish and messy and when Evan had pulled away with a moan and Tommy had started mouthing down his neck Evan had gasped out the question of whether Tommy had a room or not.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” Tommy had mumbled against Evan’s lips and Evan had done his best to not be too upset over it. Phones existed, hell if the sex was as good as just kissing Tommy was then Evan would write him a letter if he needed to.

“That’s okay, we can have some fun.” He’d said instead, he knew the script and he was sure it didn’t differ that much just because Tommy was an alpha.

“If you’re sure?”

“Of course.”

They’d stumbled into Tommy’s room and landed on the bed after quickly ridding each other of their clothing. Evan was definitely leaking by then, slick gathering around his hole and Tommy had stopped to sniff the air before grinning.

“You smell good.” Evan had huffed but then Tommy had thrown one of Evan’s legs over his shoulder and shoved his nose into Evan’s groin and inhaled. “Really good. Like orange and vanilla. Sweet.”

Evan had opened his mouth to make a comment but then Tommy’s lips had wrapped around his dick and a moan fell out instead. Fingers grazed against Evan’s hole, scooping up the slick there and then Tommy had pulled off of Evan’s cock to stick his finger in his mouth and taste Evan. Evan had decided right then that he needed Tommy inside of him as soon as possible and he’d yanked the man up towards him as best he could. Evan’s leg was pressed against his own chest, opening him wide as Tommy leaned down to kiss him.

“Do you have a condom?” Evan had asked between kisses and Tommy had scrambled for his bag. It was a good thing they’d come back to Tommy’s room because Evan didn’t have any alpha grade condoms on him right now and as much as he liked Tommy and as much as his gut was telling him he could trust him, he wasn’t going to risk no condom tonight. Especially when the thought of taking a knot for the first time was slowly starting to become the only thing in Evan’s brain.

“Got it.” Tommy had held up the little packet triumphantly and bounced back onto the bed, which had creaked a little ominously but both men ignored it. Tommy had slid the condom on, grabbed Evan’s ankles and hooked both of his legs over Tommy’s shoulders and then lined himself up. He’d dipped down to kiss Evan and practically folded the omega in half but Evan could only moan, loving the delicious tug on his muscles and press of Tommy’s dick at his entrance.

“Come on, Tommy. Fuck me.” He had almost begged and Tommy had slid home in one smooth movement. Evan’s eyes had rolled back and his moan had almost reverberated off the walls. He’d taken a strap before, taken fingers too but this was his first real dick and Tommy filled him up wonderfully.

They lost themselves in moans and thrusts and kisses for what seemed liked forever. Panting and the wet sound of Tommy moving in and out of Evan as slick leaked out of him and the creaking of the bed were the only sounds in the room for a while. Evan had felt his orgasm building under his skin, the feeling in his stomach as he got closer and closer to the edge. His grip on Tommy had tightened and he’d managed to moan out he was going to come but Tommy had just told him to let go, a hushed sweetheart pressed into his skin and Evan had seen stars. Tommy had still been thrusting into him slowly when Evan came down from the high but it was erratic and Evan knew Tommy was close too.

“Knot me.” He’d begged this time, trying his best to keep Tommy close as he held onto him. “Tommy, knot me, please.”

“You sure?” Tommy had ground out and Evan had felt the alpha’s knot catching against his rim and he’d arched up into Tommy’s body.

“Yes! Yes, please, Tommy, please. Want a knot, want to feel it.” Evan moaning and begging seemed to dissolve Tommy’s worries because he sunk in deep and came, knot tying them together and Evan felt so full and content that he found himself coming again, a valiant dribble leaking from his own cock that was pressed between them.

Evan had slipped his legs from Tommy’s shoulders to wrap around his waist instead, a much comfier position to be stuck in and the movement had given him a feel for the knot inside him. It pressed up against Evan no matter how he moved and he had shivered in pleasure as he was reminded how stuffed full he was right then. Tommy had rolled them over so that Evan was resting against his chest and he’d started to run a hand through Evan’s hair. Evan had done his best to not nuzzle into the alpha but it was a battle he lost fairly quickly but Tommy hadn’t minded, had just held him close.

“Thank you.” Evan had muttered into Tommy’s bare chest.

“For what?”

“Tonight. I’ve never had a knot before but I think you were a great choice to be my first. I felt like you cared about me.” It was honest and vulnerable and Tommy had tugged Evan’s head up to kiss him and Evan had melted into him.

“Well, thank you for trusting me. I don’t usually knot strangers either but I don’t know, this felt.” Tommy had trailed off so Evan jumped in.

“Different.” He finished and Tommy nodded, smiling softly.

Evan doesn’t know now, looking back, if it was just the hazy vulnerability of the dark, of being alone together in a different country, of the shared knot between them. He doesn’t know what had made it all feel so unique and special. He didn’t really buy into the whole alphas and omegas are made for each other bullshit so maybe it was just Tommy or maybe Evan had just been lonely, tired of travelling and one night connections.

“So, are you a Thomas actually?” Evan isn’t sure where the question came from but he’d wanted to break the silence that had settled over them and the words had formed on his lips without him realising.

“Oh, no.” Tommy had chuckled, Evan shaking along with his chest. “Just a Tommy. My parents were fighting when I was born so my mom wrote down Tommy instead of Thomas and here I am.”

“My sister is just a Maddie.” The surge of longing came out of nowhere and Evan knows his scent must have soured for a moment but Tommy had just held him tighter and didn’t comment on it. Evan had shook himself and looked up at the alpha. “Will you call?” He’d asked quietly, making sure not to move his head too much from its spot on Tommy’s chest. The vulnerability of the night culminating in Evan asking for what he wanted for once.

“Yes.” Tommy had almost whispered the word out. “I don’t think I can afford to hop over to Peru all the time though.” It was an attempt at a joke to keep the mood light and Evan dutifully chuckled.

“I’m kind of bored of this place anyway. I’m thinking of joining a friend in LA.”

“Well, that’s perfect. I’m in LA.”

“Its fate then.” Evan had joked, not realising what was in store for them and Tommy and laughed too, soft fingers gently running up and down Evan’s spine. 

It was dark and he could only see the outline of Tommy’s face now but he could make out enough to plant a kiss against his lips. Kissing would keep anymore odd questions from popping up. They showered together once Tommy’s knot had deflated and Tommy eating Evan out had lead to round two against the bathroom mirror and Evan had been carried back to bed still on Tommy’s knot and it had to have been one of the sexiest experiences of his life. Probably still up there even now if he’s being honest. They’d talked a little but eventually heavy eyes had slipped closed and wrapped in Tommy’s warmth he hadn’t stood a chance.

It made everything feel colder when he’d woken up alone the next morning. It had been almost checkout time and the room was empty, no suitcase or other belongings, only Evan’s clothes folded neatly in a pile. Usually when this happened Evan felt a bit used and wrung out and those feelings still niggled just a little bit but he also had the scent of dark chocolate and whiskey surrounding him still and he buried his nose into a pillow for a few minutes until he forced himself to get up.

He’d showered and got dressed and looked for a note. Tommy had said he’d call but with him being the one that left Evan hadn’t been able to give him his number but Tommy wasn’t stupid, Evan knew that much. So he searched for a note.

He never found it. Never saw the corner that was sticking out from between the mattress and the headboard, never saw Tommy’s neat scrawl on hotel paper waiting for him. So Evan left the room, more dejected than he usually felt after a night with a stranger. Feeling emptier than he usually did. But he went back to his own place, showered again and scrubbed his body clean and a couple of days later he followed Connor to LA anyway. Maybe he’d bump into Tommy again, he could believe in fate just a little.

He hadn’t found the note but in the end Tommy had left him with a part of himself anyway, Evan just wouldn’t realise for a while.

———

About a month into his time at the Fire Academy Buck had started to feel tired and then a few weeks later that had turned into a bone deep exhaustion he’d never felt before. He knew it would be a lot, that it would be a lot of physical work but Buck didn’t think he’d be so tired. He’d get home and collapse into bed sometimes not even bothering to eat first, the call of sleep too great to be ignored. More than once he’d pass a party on the way to his room and still managed to pass out for over eight hours despite the walls shaking from the noise. For the last couple of weeks he’d had a phase of feeling sick mid afternoon no matter what he did or ate but he never actually threw up and he honestly passed it off as nerves about graduating from the academy, not thinking twice about what else it could be. It cleared up after he graduated, he sent Maddie a postcard about becoming a firefighter but she never replied and he was alone at the ceremony but he was used to it by now. He had briefly wondered about who Tommy had invited but it was only a passing thought. When he was assigned to the 118 he was so happy to start. He was excited to put his uniform on and start saving lives. 

And it had all been great for the first few weeks, he’d finally got some of his usual energy back and he’d been doing his best to make a good impression on the rest of the crew. Bobby had sniffed in his direction a couple of times and frowned but he’d move away before Buck could ask what was up and they’d gone to that concert together and Bobby hadn’t said anything so Buck figured it was nothing. Things had been dicey for a moment with the baby in the wall, Buck’s instincts had completely flared up and Bobby had had to take him aside and calm him down when Buck had gotten a little too protective over the kid.

“I’m sorry, Bobby, really. I don’t know what happened out there. I know I shouldn’t let instincts take over on the job and seriously that’s never happened to me before, I swear.”

“You’re an omega, right Buck?” Bobby had asked carefully and Buck had nodded, frowning up at his captain from where he was leaning against his desk, Buck sat in a chair in front of him. “Omegas can be quite protective over babies and children when they’re in danger, its mostly controllable though, unless a heat is particularly close.” Bobby had eyed him and before Buck could tell him that his suppressants covered all of it, he’d gotten the top notch stuff when he’d signed up to the academy, he threw Buck’s world off its axis completely. “Or they’re pregnant.”

Buck had stared up at him, swallowing thickly and then had slowly shaken his head. “I don’t have heats and I, I’m not, I’m not, I can’t be because-“ except, except he could be. Thoughts of a hot night in Peru, a solid body over his and a knot keeping Buck satisfied flashed through his mind. “Oh god.” He’d buried his head in his hands and Bobby had patted his shoulder.

“We’ll get you a test after our shift is over but I’d feel better if you were man behind today.” Buck had agreed silently, thoughts bouncing around his mind as he sat there. He wasn’t sure how long it took him to move but eventually he did, the others having been called out a while ago. They came back with a story about a room full of snakes and a woman being choked by her own pet but Buck couldn’t even pretend to be interested, still far too in his head. Hen had given him then Bobby a look but hadn’t said anything when Bobby had shaken his head.

That shift is one of the longest Buck had ever experienced in his life but he still hadn’t felt ready when Bobby had driven them to the closest pharmacy and handed him a bunch of home pregnancy tests. Buck hadn’t felt like taking them at his glorified frat house so Bobby had driven them back to the station and Buck had skulked around the loft until it was time to check the results.

All of them were positive and Buck had promptly burst into tears.

Bobby had taken pity on him then, throwing an arm around his shoulders and telling Buck quietly that they’d sort it out. He’d helped Buck schedule an appointment with his doctor to do a proper exam and check everything out and tell him how far along Buck was but he had a pretty solid idea already. The only knot he’d ever taken had been four months ago and after that there had only been a couple of people and they’d both been omega women and after that Buck had for once not had the energy to seek anyone out. Now he knew why at least.

The doctor had been kind, not batting an eye when Buck had asked if Bobby could come in with him and for his part Bobby hadn’t balked either, just squeezed Buck’s shoulder and silently followed him into the room. The doctor had given him a lot of information in one go and handed him some pamphlets so that Buck could understand his options better and then she’d asked if he wanted to have an ultrasound and see the baby. Buck had known then that if he said yes, if he saw his kid then he’d be keeping them, no ifs, ands or buts. He’d chewed his lip, grip on the paper in his hands tightening until his knuckles turned white. Nobody rushed him, Bobby and the doctor had let him think about it until eventually Buck had nodded, laid back on the bed and tugged up his shirt.

Seeing his baby for the first time had made his heart pound and something had clogged up his throat but hearing their heartbeat had been world shattering because that was Buck’s baby, that was his kid and he knew for sure then that he was having a baby and he was going to raise them and love them and this was his future now. Bobby had gripped his hand and given it a squeeze and quietly let him know that they’d figure something out, Buck might be a probie but he hadn't known when he started and firefighters had had babies before, it was something that could be handled. Buck had teared up and opened his arms for a hug and Bobby had hesitantly pulled Buck in but once he was there in Bobby’s arms the older man didn't let go for a while even if Buck was soaking the shoulder of his shirt with his tears and snot.

He’d been put on light duty effective immediately and it had chaffed but at the same time Buck understood. He took out his phone and looked at the picture of the ultrasound whenever he was feeling particularly mulish about it. Chimney and Hen had congratulated him when he told them and Buck pretended he didn’t notice the looks they gave each other when they thought he’d turned away. He also ignored their apparent surprise when Buck had told the three of them that he knew who the father was but he just didn’t have enough information to find him again so that was that and he’d do it on his own. Many years later Buck will wish that he’d just said the name Tommy, how different life would have been but he’d been embarrassed so he’d kept his mouth shut. He had started looking for another housing arrangement but his budget was tight, especially if he wanted to save up for baby things but he waved off Bobby and Hen’s concerns and told them he’d be fine, that he’d find somewhere in time.

Nobody had counted on Chimney getting a piece of rebar through the head. Buck had gone out on the call with them, downright refusing to not be there for his friend. He’d gone back to visit Chim in the hospital multiple times and more than once he thought he caught a whiff of dark chocolate and whiskey but it must be his brain playing tricks on him with him being pregnant with Tommy’s child. He must have been looking particularly blue when Chimney offered up his living room for Buck to crash in until he found a place, somewhere so that he could leave the frat house behind and if Buck had been less desperate he’d have refused but he thought, privately, that both he and Chimney were probably about to feel very lonely so being together might not be so bad.

The first time his baby kicked was when he was on shift. He’d gasped in surprise and both Bobby and Hen’s heads had whipped towards him in concern but he waved them off.

“Sorry, it was just Peanut.” Buck had placed his hand on his belly, pressing around to try and feel the movement again.

“You won’t feel it from the outside for another few weeks yet.” Bobby had said, drifting just a little closer.

“Oh, right. It kind of felt like gas.” He laughed and Bobby grinned as well.

“I know, its weird.” Buck had exchanged a glance with Hen then. Both of them could smell that Bobby was an omega too but that just answered the question of who had carried his children.

Buck felt the weird sensation again and despite just being told there was no point he pressed his fingers to his stomach again. His mind flickered to the alpha that had fathered his child, the way Tommy’s whole face scrunched up in a smile and Buck’s lip wobbled. Tears had spilled over before he could stop them and he quietly cursed his hormonal imbalance.

“Why don’t you write it all down?” Hen had suggested after Buck had reluctantly told them both why he was suddenly so upset. “That way you can feel like you’re telling the father everything that’s happening and hey, one day your kid can read it all too if they want.”

Buck had taken her suggestion to heart and had started writing letters to Tommy. All of them unsent of course but tucked away in a shoebox, organised in neat piles and dated too. Some were only a few sentences long, some went on for pages and pages. They varied from short little updates about the baby to rambling stories about Buck’s life in that moment, about the calls they’d had, about how Chimney was doing and after a particularly horrifying plane crash that Buck had helped recovery as best he could from the beach about how Bobby had finally leaned on them for help in return. He’d lightened the mood a couple of weeks later by telling him all about a yoga studio doing a class for pregnant people and his hand had shook as he laughed too hard as he remembered Bobby’s concerned looks that he kept throwing at Buck despite Buck being weeks away from his due date. He always signed the letters as Evan. Tommy had never met Buck, this shiny new version of himself he’d found at the academy and it felt wrong trying to force it so he was always Evan in his letters. Always Evan.

He’d decided he didn’t want to know the sex of the baby until a nurse at one of his appointments had looked up at him from her spot by the monitor and asked him if he’d like to find out and Buck had caved so fast Bobby had snorted from his spot behind him. He was having a boy though, a little boy of his own. Buck’s heart had fluttered and squeezed and he’d written pages and pages to Tommy that night. He’s absolutely sure he’d have had the exact same reaction to a girl but in that moment all he could think about was his son.

When he got big enough to be relegated to desk duty he thought he best tell Maddie about it all so on a walk he’d passed by a souvenir shop and swiped a couple of ‘Wish You Were Here’ postcards. He wrote one for Maddie, shoving it into an envelope along with an ultrasound and one for Tommy that only had ‘it’s true’ written on the back of it. He’d been out trying to cool down from an argument he and Chimney had been having and honestly Buck couldn’t remember what it had been about 10 minutes after he’d left but they’d finally snapped at each other and afterwards they’d been better for it.

When it became clear that no places were going to open up before he gave birth Bobby offered Buck the spare room in his apartment and that way Buck could sleep in a proper bed instead of a pullout and when the baby came he’d at least have a room with a door. Buck had felt awkward about the whole thing but it was really his only option at that point, feeling bad about intruding on Chimney for so long and he’d moved. It had been weird but Bobby had softened up and Buck had stopped being so tense around him in return. Something had shifted in Bobby after Chim’s blood drive and Buck wasn’t sure what it was but he was happy that Bobby was happier.

Buck had dragged out going on paternity leave for as long as possible, worried about how it would affect his probation but Bobby had insisted that it would be fine but Buck hadn’t been inclined to believe him. But eventually even Buck had had to admit defeat but he’d still sat in his room and pouted about it when Bobby went in for his first shift without Buck. He’d written to Tommy after the door had closed and complained for three pages straight but he’d reluctantly admitted that he knew it was the best thing for him to do right now but he insisted that he didn’t have to like it.

Even though his due date had passed a couple of days before Buck had still somehow been surprised about going into labor and his water breaking.

Bobby had been sat with him after he’d come back from what Buck was pretty sure had been a date, even though Bobby had denied it earlier, and he’d just stared at Buck for a second, seemingly frozen before finally speaking. “You’re having a baby.”

“I’m aware of that, Bobby.” He’d said through gritted teeth as he'd squeezed the chair he was bent over so hard that his knuckles went white.

“Hospital.” Bobby had said then he’d grabbed Buck’s bag and coaxed him away from his death grip on the chair and into his car. 

The ride to the hospital passed in a blur as all Buck could do was cup his stomach with one hand and grip the door with the other, squirming to try and relieve some of the pressure between his hips. Before he could really think too hard about it he was in a hospital gown and hunched over his stomach in an uncomfortable bed. Contractions are a bitch apparently, he felt like he was going to throw up for a large portion of the night.

Bobby had stayed outside and Buck hadn’t wanted to ask him to come in until things had become too painful and he’d caved and almost begged a nurse to go and get him. The older omega had held his wrist out for Buck to sniff and the scent had managed to ease things just enough that Buck could focus on pushing instead of crying out for an alpha that wouldn’t be coming. He’d squeezed Bobby’s hand and pushed through the pain and eventually his son was out and wailing and Buck didn't even realise he was crying again until he saw a picture later. It was that picture along with one of the baby alone that he sent to his parents a few days later, finally telling them that they were grandparents and he sat through their call with his baby in his lap and said through a fake smile that no he didn't know where the other father was and no he didn't mind that they couldn't make it out to LA right then, yes he would tell them when a good time was and yes he'd keep them updated on the baby’s health. Buck had sighed in relief when he'd finally been able to hang up.

Holding his son for the first time had Buck feeling a way he’d never felt before but he knew then, as he held his baby close that his kid would always come first. He wouldn’t suffer like Buck had, he’d know he was loved from day one and he would always be Buck’s top priority no matter what. Bobby had seemed taken aback when Buck offered the kid up to him but after a moment the fire captain scooped the baby up and rocked him gently and Buck grimaced through the afterbirth and the stitches he needed before demanding Bobby hand his son over. Bobby had laughed and easily passed him across but he looked wistful and a little sad and on any other day Buck would’ve felt bad and insist Bobby hold the baby for a little longer but today he needed his kid close.

“So, name?” A nurse asked, holding a clipboard and pointing her pen at the baby in Buck’s arms. Bobby had stepped out to go and collect Hen and Chimney from somewhere within the hospital.

“Oh.” Buck had looked down at his son, brushing a light finger across his cheek and sighed. He’d thought about it nearly everyday since he’d found out he was pregnant, constantly going back and forth on what to name them and it only got worse when he found out it was a boy because Thomas was a nice name but it felt like too much. Buck knew he was always too much in the end and naming his child after their father who Buck had only known for a night seemed a bit far, even if Tommy would never know. He’d spent hours scrolling through lists of names beginning with a T, constantly flip flopping between choices but a couple of weeks before a name had clicked with him.

“Theo.” He said to the nurse, still gazing down at his little boy.

“Just Theo? Not Theodore.”

“No, just Theo.” Tommy had mentioned that he wasn’t a Thomas, just a Tommy. So Buck could have used Thomas he supposed but Theo had felt right in the end. And looking down at the baby Buck was sure, a smile spreading over his lips as Theo yawned. It may have also been that the pain meds were kicking in and Buck felt like he could relax his bottom half for the first time in hours.

“Middle name?” The nurse asked, jotting down Theo on her paper.

“Oh! Er,” Buck had looked back down at Theo and stared, gently bouncing him a little as Theo snuggled closer. “Alexander.” He’d decided and the fact that it was a spur of a moment choice stays between him and his letter to Tommy.

“That’s nice.” The nurse said barely looking up and as she turned to leave Buck made another split second choice.

"Do you have any pen and paper I could use? I need to write a letter.” She’d given him a funny look but she'd probably had weirder requests so she quickly returned with a notepad and pen and Buck poured his heart out to Tommy on those pages. 

He told him how scared he was now that Theo was real and here and he had a baby. Him, Evan! But how happy he was too, how he'd never felt happiness like this before and that he promises to do his best to keep Theo as happy as he can, that he loves Theo more than anything and that hopefully Tommy will be, wherever he is, happy for them too. But he also admits that he didn't think it would be this devastating, sitting alone in a hospital room with nobody to share this with. Not how he wants to share Theo anyway. Bobby had been great and Buck was so grateful for him but this clingy, needy part of him deep in his chest is screaming for a partner, for someone who’s his. He knows its not fair to put all that onto Tommy, neither of them knew what was going to happen but he’s sad and angry and obscenely happy. It just hurts. And Buck will get over it, maybe, maybe not. Probably not. Their son is perfect and he has nobody to tell so he writes that he’s going to keep going with the letters, keep writing. He’s going to write until that void inside him is full because surely one day it will be, right?

That’s how Bobby, Hen and Chimney find him later. Theo tucked in the crook of an arm and Buck scribbling frantically on a hospital notepad. He slides it into his bag when they come in and introduces them all to Theo but in the chaos of it all Buck’s mind does flit to Tommy over and over again, how might the man have been there for Buck tonight if he’d known? Would he have cried like Buck did? Would he have held a bag of ice chips for Buck to swallow? Would he have held Buck’s hand through it all? Would he have held Theo close and told him he loved him like Buck had done?

Buck asks Bobby to buy him a bar of chocolate and his friends politely don’t ask when instead of taking a bite Buck sniffs it, inhaling a deep breath of dark chocolate and trying not to cry over how the whiskey is missing. It helps a little though and his mind clears when Theo is handed back to him, his whole world focusing in on his baby and its enough for now. The weight of Theo in his arms is enough.

———

His later letters are never as desperate and sad as that one from the hospital and it only feels fair to share little pieces of Theo’s life with Tommy even if he’ll never read them. It makes something churn deep in Buck’s stomach every time he pulls out pen and paper, perhaps its loneliness or sadness or guilt or maybe all three and more. He’s not sure. But Buck keeps writing, there’s less letters now, he has less time after all, a baby is a lot of work he’s realised but when he has a spare moment he’ll jot things down.

Buck goes home after one of Eddie’s first shifts and writes to Tommy about it all. Tells him how Eddie also has a son, about introducing him to Carla who he’d found online and who Theo loves. He finds himself spilling his guts about the calendar, how before he would’ve probably jumped at taking some photos and sending them in but he’s felt too self conscious about the extra baby weight and he knows its stupid, he knows he still looks good but its just taking a while to get used to how his body is different now.

He scribbles out the section where he asked if Tommy would still find him attractive now.

Buck manages to get down a couple of words hoping Tommy is alright after the earthquake but he only lets himself have a few minutes before he’s scooping Theo up again because he spent nearly his whole shift counting down the moments until he could check in and hold his baby again and he doesn’t feel ashamed to tell Tommy how much the smell and feel of Theo calmed him down, how Buck hadn’t even realised how shaken he was until he had hold of Theo. Tommy is never going to read any of these anyway so he pours his heart out about how lucky he feels to have someone to come home to.

Of course he also has Bobby that he comes home to but Bobby has Athena now too and Buck has been told to keep his mouth shut about it but he’s been dying to tell someone since he caught Athena sneaking out of Bobby’s apartment when he’d been up late with Theo one night and who’s Tommy going to tell anyway? He also comes home to Maddie one day, which felt like a trip and she’d immediately shot up and demanded to meet Theo, who Buck had willingly handed over. She snuggled Theo close and sighed happily into his little body and Buck had felt his heart clench at having his two favourite people together in front of him. Sometimes Buck would find Maddie just staring down at Theo as he slept and gently brushing a finger over his cheek and when Buck asked if everything was alright Maddie would sigh then nod and just murmur about how Theo reminds her of her baby brother.

He admittedly glazes over all the stuff that happened with Doug in his letters to Tommy, not wanting a paper trail or to relive any of it if he’s being honest but he does tell Tommy that Maddie is safe now, that she doesn’t have to worry about Doug anymore. 

It feels a little odd to talk about an attraction to someone else in a letter addressed to Tommy, the father of his child, but Buck finds himself writing about Taylor Kelly, the reporter. Nothing had happened but there had been some tension there and if Buck is being honest its the first real buzz of sexual attraction he’s felt since having Theo or even a little before that. He hopes Tommy doesn’t mind wherever he is, as if he can feel Buck’s thoughts through these unsent letters somehow. Then he tells himself he’s being ridiculous and puts the pieces of paper into the box at the back of his wardrobe with all the rest of his letters. Its an organised mess these days but each letter is at least dated in case he ever wants to read them back for some reason.

Continuing to be weird and writing about other people he’s interested in Buck tells Tommy that he asked Ali out, that she knew about Theo but didn’t mind and the date had been nice, the sex had been nice and he thinks seeing someone could be good for him. Theo is still so young and Buck isn’t sure he’s wanting something super serious but its nice to go out and have a bit of fun being Buck and not just Theo’s dad for a night and Bobby never minds babysitting even though Buck feels guilty whenever he asks. He also tells Tommy about the little sinking feeling he’d got when Ali had shown him the loft, how she’d loved it and thought he’d love it too until he’d pointed out how impractical it was for him and Theo. There were other units in the building at least and now Buck can proudly say that he has an apartment of his own, that he can move out of Bobby’s and he and Theo are doing this thing alone.

Bobby still wants to babysit though and Buck is slowly admitting to himself (and Tommy) that perhaps Bobby is Theo’s grandfather, more than his biological grandparents anyway but that’s a soulful letter for another day.

Then there’s a large gap in the letters, about a month of nothing.

Buck hadn’t wanted to talk about it, the truck bombing had been the worst day of his life. He’d laid there and thought about how he might never see Theo again, might never hold him again because surely this pain would be the end of him, how he was committing the worst thing he could think of and might possibly leave Theo behind and that had been the cause of the hot tears that had streamed down his face before the truck had been moved. When he’d been with it enough at the hospital he’d begged for someone to bring Theo to him and he’d clung onto his kid, his nose buried in Theo’s hair and the smell of his baby bringing him a comfort that nothing else had.

He eventually picks up a pen again and catches Tommy up. He mentions that Ali had left but Buck can’t bring himself to care that much because recovery is a bitch and they weren’t serious anyway. Plus he’s also mainly focused on Theo and making sure this isn’t going to be scarring or something. He’s not even a year old and Buck is already failing spectacularly and its about to get even worse because he needs his job back, he needs money and firefighting is the only thing he’s ever really been good at.

The next letter is covered in tears because Buck wrote it on Theo’s first birthday.  They’d spent the morning together, just the two of them snuggled in Buck’s nest and watching movies, opening presents that Theo was more interested in the paper they were wrapped in and eating cake but after lunch Maddie had dropped by to take Theo out to the park and Buck had pretended he was fine, had smiled and waved them off with a big hug but after the door had shut he’d collapsed back into bed and sobbed at how bad he was at this. His child’s first birthday was spent in bed because Buck hadn’t been able to do anything else. If Tommy ever were to read this particular letter he’d probably struggle because so much of it is smudged and messy but Buck had felt marginally better after getting it all out so he thanks Tommy for that, wherever he is now.

Buck promises Tommy that he’s not trying to scar their son for life and Athena assured him that Theo was focused on a toy when Buck had coughed up blood all over Bobby’s garden but Buck still feels bad about it. Its not that he thinks he made the wrong choice in keeping Theo, he loves him more than anything else but sometimes Buck wonders if he’s messing Theo up with how badly he’s handling it all. Sometimes Buck wishes, when he’s holding Theo close to his chest and oh so tightly in his arms, he wishes that there was someone who could do the same for him and he feels weak for admitting it but these letters are private so if he can’t say it here where can he say it? Probably therapy but the figure of Tommy will have to do for now.

The lawsuit wasn’t his best idea he’ll admit it but he just wanted his job and his family back. Buck spent so many nights curled up with Theo in his nest and practically drowning the kid in his scent, hoping it was enough to cover the loss of their little pack. There’s a lot of letters around that time because Buck had felt like he’d had nobody else to talk to but they eventually go back to the volume they were stacking up at before.

He doesn’t just talk about the things happening to him, in fact the majority of Buck’s letters to Tommy are mostly all about Theo. Anything he thinks might be interesting he jots down, which is a lot because to Buck anything Theo does is interesting. He’d written about Theo’s first word, da, which yes absolutely is a word not just a sound thank you, Eddie and Theo followed it almost immediately with dada which Buck took because that’s his baby and he’s his dad! 

The letter actually includes Theo’s first three words because they’d all happened pretty close together so he proudly writes about how Theo’s second word was truck, paired with a point towards a firetruck that they'd seen when the two of them had been at the park. Buck had scooped him up and made such a big deal about it all Theo had said for the next hour had been truck over and over. The third one was helicopter, which alright came out more like ‘coppata’ but he was close so Buck is counting it. He absently lets Tommy know that Theo seems to love the things, he likes planes too but whenever a helicopter passes overhead Theo seems to lock in on it. Buck knows that Theo isn’t even two yet and doesn’t even know what a helicopter is but the kid finds the machines fascinating and isn't their child so clever? Buck was sure he’d meant to include other things but the letter had already gone on for three pages and Theo had woken up from a nap so he’d left it at that, his own badly drawn doodle of a helicopter still drying in the margin.

After Theo’s second birthday at the zoo, accompanied by the Diaz boys, Buck finds himself tacking a picture to the letter. Theo, with his brown hair, blue eyes and toothy grin, is beaming up at the camera with ice cream all over the bottom half of his face and Buck lovingly writes about how Theo loves anything sweet. He’s deduced that this must come from Tommy because Buck is pretty neutral on sweets and his pen moves faster than his brain because he finds himself writing about how its nice to still discover something about Tommy all this time later. He adds in some of Theo’s current interests (dogs and puzzles but he still seems interested in planes and helicopters too) and he hopes that Tommy is alright wherever he is.

Theo’s scent starts to develop properly, losing that baby scent and he smells like chocolate and oranges, a perfect little blend of Buck and Tommy. Buck looks up how rare that is and his stomach swoops when he sees that its a 1 in 1000 chance of having a perfect combination of both parents. Most people might be in similar scent pattern as their family but its fairly abnormal to have a mix like that. It makes Buck sigh quietly and brush a hand through soft curls and send out a silent apology to both Theo and Tommy. It never occurs to him that he’s also losing out in this situation. Bobby frowns a little when he first smells Theo, takes a second glance at him and another deeper inhale, he glances at Buck then back to Theo before he shakes his head and shrugs something off. Buck is too scared to ask about it even when Hen and Chim both pause too, they look curious but shrug and make vague noises about an old coworker before moving on.

Theo also learned to walk and then run in very quick succession and it caused Buck a great deal of stress because his son is fast, really fast. If Theo sets his mind on being somewhere he just starts running and Buck is eternally grateful for how long his own legs are because sometimes its needed to chase after Theo and snatch him up. Theo always shrieks with laughter when Buck picks him up and tucks him in tight against his chest, he’ll flail around but Buck will take any amount of tiny kicks to the chest if it makes Theo laugh like that.

There is a long letter when Buck finds out he’s going to be an uncle, that Theo is going to have a cousin and that he’s going to have a kid way closer to his own age to play with in the future. Theo and Chris adore each other and they’re happy to hang out together but they don’t play, not like Theo needs at his age and Chris is happier playing his video games than make believe. Buck has pushed aside any thoughts of having more children himself, its hard enough to even find a serious date when you have a toddler in tow, but he is excited about having another baby around, he loves kids.

He writes about Daniel with a shaky hand and the words are almost illegible but Buck needs to get it out, needs to talk about it and his letters to Tommy have become his outlet.

Finding out about Daniel is just another slap in the face on top of his parents suddenly being interested in having a grandchild because its Maddie’s kid. Buck is so angry for Theo, that apparently neither of them were good enough and to find out he was never even really wanted in the first place is too much, he feels dirty and used and he stormed out whilst clutching Theo so tightly that later he worried he left a mark but Theo just clung back. Buck watched his lip wobble in an alarmingly similar way to his own and he told Theo right then that he’s enough, he’s enough for Buck, that he loves him so much, that he’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him and Theo says he loves Buck too, that his dad is his favourite person in the world and Buck felt happy in that moment despite knowing he had to face his family in the morning.

The letters get a little sporadic again between Jee-Yun being born, Eddie getting shot and Maddie leaving and also having Theo to look after on top of all that, Buck doesn’t really have time to write. Things work out in the end though, like they always seem to and now that he’s around her more Theo seems enamoured with Jee, he begs to hold her and he talks and talks and talks to her telling her all about his little life and it makes Buck ache inside because he wishes he could give Theo a sibling and the older Theo gets the more Buck wants another kid. He loves Theo so much and he’d love to do it all over again but just maybe with a partner next time, they’re hard to find though.

Theo’s fourth birthday was chaotic, that’s the best way Buck can describe it. It had been at one of those soft play areas and Buck is pretty sure Chim and Eddie had more fun than any of the kids combined. He’d invited Taylor to try and ingratiate her with Theo, she brought a present and seemed willing enough to join in the fun but Theo had been too busy scrambling around with Eddie and Bobby, who later complained about sore muscles, to really notice her. Buck had shrugged it off and thanked Taylor anyway and had only been a little annoyed when she’d had to leave early for a work assignment. He’ll admit that he’d been slightly distracted all day. There was another parent there, an alpha with high cheekbones and a sharp jaw and blue eyes. He didn’t smell right and beyond those few similarities he looked nothing like Tommy, lanky rather than solid muscle like Tommy had been. It had thrown Buck though and he’d wondered if Theo will look like Tommy when he gets older, he wishes he knew what the father of his child looked like when he was young so he could compare. That ache deep in his chest is still there no matter what he does to try and fill it.

He’d really tried with Taylor he insistently tells Tommy in his letter, not that Tommy can argue but Buck wants to make it clear that he’d liked her, he’d wanted it to work but Theo didn't. He didn’t hate her or anything, Buck explained, scribbling as fast as his hand would allow him, he didn’t hate Taylor but he just didn’t seem to like her that much either. Taylor was a little awkward around him, clearly not really knowing how to talk to kids but she’d tried, which Buck appreciated and it had made him willing to try with them for a bit longer than he maybe should have. They’d been having breakfast, him, Theo, Eddie and Taylor and when Taylor had made another comment about her job Eddie and Theo had both pulled a face. Theo didn’t really understand but he was clearly bored of the topic, his little, adorable face scrunching up in distaste as he shovelled his cereal into his mouth. Buck had gently asked after Taylor had left what Theo was thinking and Theo is a sweetheart because even at four he’d tried to be diplomatic about it, shrugging and saying he liked Taylor just fine but not as much as he liked Carla or Eddie or his Aunt Maddie or Grandpa Bobby. So when the topic of moving in had come up Buck had ended up stuttering through a break up speech and the little flicker of relief he felt watching Taylor leave told him everything he needed to know.

Buck thought the ladder truck was his worst nightmare until he’s struck by lightening, not that he remembers that part but he remembers the coma dream. How he’d been searching everywhere for Theo and he was nowhere to be found, how even Tommy had briefly shown up to scoff at him and tell him he didn’t know what Buck was talking about when he tried to bring up Peru. Despite the alpha at Theo’s party the year before Buck hadn’t been aware that he even still remembered Tommy in such detail but he does stare into Tommy’s eyes everyday when he looks at Theo. After he wakes up Buck puts all his energy into doting on Theo instead, making sure he’s not been freshly scarred for life and the little boy is surprisingly fine and Buck is grateful to his family for shielding Theo from the worst of it. Theo had been under the impression that he was just having an extended sleepover at Bobby’s house whilst his dad got better, a slight lie told about Buck being asleep whenever Theo came to visit but he’ll be awake next time, don’t worry kid. Buck had quietly apologised to Theo when they were alone again in their apartment and Theo had gazed at him steadily and said that it was okay, it wasn’t Buck’s fault that he was so sleepy but could he sleepover in the nest tonight? Buck can never deny him so for the next week Theo had stayed curled up in Buck’s nest with him. One day he’ll tell Theo what happened but he can’t right now, five is too young, too innocent and Buck will not ruin that.

The letters had to be moved to a bigger box at some point, the old shoebox too small to contain everything and Buck wonders if he should stop but it feels wrong, Tommy should know about everything Theo is up to. He loves preschool, he’s got lots of friends and he soaks up knowledge like a sponge. He still likes planes and helicopters but its expanded into anything with an engine. Spending time with other kids and their families has also had Theo’s brain turning over and one day Buck had picked him up from a birthday party and Theo had asked why it was just the two of them, why didn’t he have a mom or another dad? He’d rushed to say that he loves his dad the most so its okay and some of the other kids only have one too but why? 

Buck knew the question would come one day, his baby is clever after all, so once they’d got home he’d gathered Theo into his lap and told him how he only spent a little time with Theo’s other dad before they had to go their separate ways. He doesn’t think about how hollow he’d felt when he’d woken up alone that morning without Tommy next to him and how hard it had been finding out about Theo months later. To soften the blow he tells Theo that his other daddy was very silly and forgot to tell Buck how to get in touch so when Buck had Theo he couldn’t tell his other dad about him. He gently skirts around the topic and says that he wishes he could tell Theo’s other dad all about him because he has the best kid in the world, which had made Theo giggle and push Buck away when he’d tried to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

The brief discussion with Theo about families sets of a small spiral for him and Buck worries he’s not providing everything Theo might need by himself. Then he spirals the other way and thinks to himself that no, he can do it alone, he has so far he doesn’t need a partner. But having one would be nice, wouldn’t it? And something is niggling at the back of his mind. The topic of Theo’s other dad, Tommy, had Buck thinking back on that night and usually his mind would drift straight to the activities that had lead to Theo coming into the world but now he’s lingering on the rest of the evening. Hadn’t Tommy said something about being a pilot? Buck knew the alpha was somewhere here in LA but its a big city and there’s fire stations that he’s never even crossed paths with but Tommy had said he was a pilot, hadn’t he? Buck spends a night staring at his ceiling and trying to remember every call he’s ever been a part of that involved a plane or helicopter. But maybe Tommy has left, maybe he was lying, maybe he’s found a mate and started a family and retired from firefighting all together. Buck could ask around, he knows enough people but what if its too late? What if Tommy doesn’t want them? He can admit to himself in the darkness of his bedroom that he’s scared to find out the answer to that.

Buck isn’t sure how much longer he can ignore his kid’s slightly wistful looks at other families though, families with happy coupled up parents and more than one child running around. He also ignores the ache in the pit of his stomach, the slight loneliness there because he has his kid, he doesn’t need a partner, Theo is enough, he’s always enough. He keeps writing to Tommy though and he spends nights mulling over the pros and cons of trying to find him. There’s probably multiple Tommys in the LAFD, hell there were plenty of Evans in just his academy class, it would take a while to find him if he’s still even here. But it would make Theo happy to know him and Buck would do anything to make Theo happy. 

In the end it doesn't matter, its taken out of his hands and he likes to think that eventually he’d have gotten over his fear of being rejected and sought Tommy out himself too.

So he never gets rid of them, the letters. Buck couldn’t say why or rather he wouldn’t say why if anybody had asked him because the answer made him feel stupid and lonely. But he can admit to himself that he keeps the letters just in case he ever happens to meet Tommy again, maybe to prove that he thought of him or to show that if he’d known how or remembered sooner, been braver, he would’ve told him about their son but it feels pathetic to say out loud so he never mentions it.

Despite keeping them and that little ember of hope that burnt so deep inside him Buck really never thought he’d see Tommy again so he’s entirely unprepared when he looks up from his feet in the hanger at Harbor after scenting dark chocolate and whiskey in the air and finally sees him there.

Its the first time in years that someone has said his actual name with something close to delight.

“Evan?”

Chapter Text

“Evan? Huh? You guys know each other?” Chim glances between them as Buck just stares at Tommy.

He’s bigger than Buck remembers, he’s not sure how that’s even possible. His hair is styled differently and there’s wrinkles around his eyes, eyes that seem to be an even brighter blue than before but Buck thinks that might just be the reflection of the flight suit. He’s still smoking hot. 

Buck swallows.

“T-Tommy. Hey.” Buck ignores Chimney as he stumbles forward and shoves his hand towards Tommy, mirroring Eddie’s shake from moments before.

“Hey.” Tommy says, voice and eyes soft as he takes hold of Buck’s hand.

Buck does his best not to gasp. This is not a movie, this isn’t supposed to be some big romantic moment but he feels like the ground is shifting under him because Tommy is right there. He looks like Theo. The eyes, the dark hair, the height too because Theo is tall for his age. Buck can’t tear his eyes away from the alpha and the smell of chocolate and whiskey is tickling his nose, his hand encased in the warmth of Tommy’s own.

“Hi.” He almost whispers and Tommy’s eyes are dancing with amusement as they continue shaking hands, Buck’s grip still tight.

Eddie loudly clears his throat and Buck abruptly drops Tommy’s hand and steps back, cheeks flushing and heart pounding. He turns to glance at Eddie and Chim who are both gawping at them. His eyes flick back to Tommy, who isn’t smiling anymore.

“You guys should get in so I can catch Hen as soon as she gets here and we can get out quick.” He swings the door open and by virtue of being the closest Buck gets in first, Tommy’s hand hovering near his elbow as he clambers up.

He blushes again and wishes he were more graceful as he almost topples into the chopper but he manages to keep his eyes forward until he’s seated and turning to watch Chimney climb in. Tommy closes the door behind Eddie and starts to look busy. The three of them sit in silence as they buckle in but Buck can feel them both staring at him. He’s never been more grateful for his suppressants masking his scent like they do, pushing it down so its just a faint whiff of vanilla and orange if you get too close. As soon as Tommy steps away to go and get Hen after rapping his knuckles against the door the questions begin.

“You know Tommy?”

“How do you know the pilot?”

“When did you meet?”

“Are you friends?”

“Did you know we worked together?”

“Are you transferring to Harbor or something?”

“Guys!” He bites out and finally turns to look at them. “We met once, a, a long time ago. Before I moved to LA. In Peru.” He waves a hand. “He came into the bar I worked at and you know.” He trails off because he absolutely does not want to tell these two that he slept with Tommy.

“What?” Eddie asks, eyes wide as he leans forward.

“We, erm, talked.” Buck avoids eye contact and neglects to mention that he’d sort of forgotten what they’d actually said to each other because his brain would always skip straight to the incredible sex they’d had.

“You talked? In Peru? Before you moved to LA?” Chim asks, tone incredulous.

“Yeah.” Buck nods and he’s saved from a further interrogation when Tommy and Hen come into view.

Things are tense for a while, they’re on an open channel and Buck watches Tommy attempt to make fake mouth static noises to the fire chief of all people. They’re all staring out into the distance looking for a cruise ship when Chimney decides its time to break the silence.

“Hen, do you remember our dear friend Thomas here-“

“Its just Tommy.” Buck and Tommy say at the same time and Buck wants to sink down into his seat immediately.

“Right.” Chim drags the word out, looking at Buck out of the corner of his eye as he chews his gum before he looks back at Hen. “Do you remember when our dear friend Tommy here, left our beloved firehouse?”

Hen had turned to glance briefly between Tommy and Buck but she’s already back to squinting out of the window. “Do I remember smashing his face into a cake? Yes, I do. Do I remember you crying on my shoulder about your boy here leaving? Also yes.”

“I didn’t cry.” Chim snaps his gum and Tommy snorts. “I was just having an emotional moment, the Gerrard survivor count was going down. Anyway, you remember then, that our dear Tommy splurged on a grand trip to South America? Well guess who he stumbled upon.”

“I’m gonna go with Buck?” Hen is facing away from him but Buck can hear her smile and he sinks further into his seat, resisting the urge to kick Chim’s shin.

“Correct! Isn’t that strange? And neither of them ever mentioned it.”

Which isn’t entirely true, Buck has mentioned Tommy a time or two, just not by name and only in the context of his mystery baby daddy so he keeps his mouth firmly shut, eyes flicking to Tommy instead.

“Sorry Howie, next time I happen to meet one of your future colleagues before you even start working together I’ll let you know.” Tommy deadpans as he cleanly navigates a slight drop in altitude.

Bolstered by Tommy’s reply Buck chimes in. “Yeah, if you’d mentioned Tommy’s name or shown me a picture when I first joined I might have said something about the guy I met in Peru.”

“You pouted anytime anyone mentioned anything about old coworkers when you first joined, we weren’t going to make that worse.” Hen says and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, Buck, you remember the welcome you gave me when I joined the team?”

Buck grumbles and he’s about to retort but then they spot the ship and they all snap into action. Tommy manages to land the chopper on the capsized hull and Buck has to shove that away into another compartment of his brain because he needs to focus. He just about manages and much later he’s sat in the front seat of the chopper beside Tommy, chocolate and whiskey once again dancing under his nose. He turns to glance at the alpha then quickly turns away again. All Buck can see is Theo and he’s worried that the longer they’re all around Tommy the more likely it is that someone else is going to see Theo in him too.

He spends the entire flight with his throat glued together and then Bobby and Athena reunite and the glue just gets thicker and all he can manage is a hand to Tommy’s shoulder before Eddie is calling for him. He glances at Tommy again and manages to force some words past the lump in his throat because he needs to talk to him, now that Tommy is in front of him Buck has to tell him about their son and soon.

“Thanks, for, for doing this. I, er, can I get your number? I was hoping we could talk?” His heart is pounding wildly in his chest.

“Sure.” Tommy nods. “I’d like that.” He’s gazing at Buck like he’s a puzzle Tommy can’t quite figure out, then he smiles and shakes his head, looking down at his feet before he holds out his hand.

Buck scrambles to pull out his phone and watches Tommy plug in his number, then the alpha is pulled into a conversation with Bobby and Athena and Buck lets Eddie lead him towards food and later he pulls out his phone again so that he can call his kid. Just hearing Theo’s voice makes his heart lurch and he can’t stop himself from seeking out Tommy across the deck. How on earth is he supposed to tell him that nine months after they’d met in Peru Buck had had his child and he’d been so caught up in Tommy rejecting him that he’d stored away their conversation so deeply in his mind that he’d forgotten until recently that Tommy was a pilot for the LAFD. The very place Buck also worked for. Would Tommy believe him? And Tommy hadn’t wanted Buck all those years ago anyway, would he even want Theo? And Buck had spent so long using Tommy as an almost mythical being to write his letters to, someone that had turned more into an idea than a person at this point, that seeing him right there in the flesh was sending Buck into a silent spiral. Because Tommy was real, Buck knew that of course, he had the tangible proof waiting for him at home, but Tommy was here and he wasn’t a person Buck had made up to replace some deep well of hurt inside him.

What was he going to do?

———

Apparently he was going to text Tommy and arrange a tour of Harbor Station.

In his defence Buck had panicked. He’d seen texts from Tommy lighting up Eddie’s phone a few days after the rescue on a slow shift and Buck had leapt into action and the tour was the only thing he could come up with. He didn’t want to examine the way seeing those texts had made him feel. He hadn’t read them, he’d wanted to because half of his brain was screaming that Eddie and Tommy somehow knew and they were arranging how to corner Buck and ask about Theo. The other half of his brain had felt weirdly territorial and Buck had snapped.

He’s not proud of it.

There hadn’t really been a plan for what exactly he was going to say when he got to Harbor and seeing Tommy right there yet again had taken his breath away and panic had started to brew under his skin. But then Tommy had started talking and showing him around, pointing out different machines, giving out little anecdotes here and there and swaying into Buck’s space occasionally and Buck had gotten distracted. This place was so cool though, Theo would love it and Buck was going to have to get the kid his own tour at some point.

Buck is so busy taking the place in and trying not to stare at Tommy that he doesn’t bring up that night all those years ago and neither does Tommy, not until they’re stood by a bright yellow helicopter out in the open and Tommy’s scent is being whisked away by the wind, clearing Buck’s head just a little.

“So, you’re still flying then?” He blurts out and Tommy immediately turns to look at him, hands shoved in his pockets and Buck unconsciously mirrors him.

“Er, yeah. You remember that?” Tommy looks a little taken aback and Buck feels his legs shake a little.

“Yeah.” Buck gazes at him, catalogues the details of Tommy’s face that he already knows so well. “Turns out I remember a lot about that night.” He bites his lip as he watches Tommy let out a breath.

“Me too. I-“ Tommy looks away, then his sharp eyes are back on Buck. “I gotta ask, why didn’t you call? I had fun that night, I thought you, well, I was just surprised when you didn’t call, I thought we both had a good time?”

Buck frowns and takes half a step towards the alpha.

“What do you mean, why didn’t I call? You didn’t leave your number. How could I have called?” Did Tommy expect Buck to hunt him down via the LAFD? There wasn’t even a guarantee Buck would’ve followed through with joining up. Or moving to LA.

“What?” At least Tommy also looks confused, he’s rocking onto the balls of his feet and his hands seem to slide even deeper into his pockets. “I definitely left it. I woke up already late for my flight and I felt super shitty about running out on you so I left you a note with my number on my pillow. Made sure my writing was neat and everything. Even took a photo so I could remind myself I’d done it.” There’s the slightest tinge of desperation to Tommy’s voice, like he wants Buck to believe him and for some reason Buck does.

Probably because he knows he has his own unbelievable tale to recount soon.

He feels lightheaded.

“I never found a note. I-“ His mouth is dry. “I woke up and you weren’t there and I looked around but I didn’t-.” He casts his mind back to that morning but he can’t recall a note of any kind. “I would’ve called.” Spills out of his mouth before he can stop it and Tommy ducks his head.

“I should’ve got your number before we fell asleep.” He shrugs and Buck feels like he’s about to pass out because to Tommy this is just a missed connection but its a whole lot more.

“Do you want to get a drink? A beer?” The thought of Theo pushes Buck into bravery and he feels his heartbeat quicken when Tommy gives him a pleased smile before it drops along with Buck’s heart.

“I would love that but I gotta take a rain check.”

And then Eddie is there and him and Tommy are leaving together and Buck is left standing next to that stupidly bright helicopter and he has to resist the urge to kick it. He’d been so close. 

So Tommy hadn’t rejected him. Buck doesn’t know what to do with that information. Tommy had wanted him to call. Buck is inferring that Tommy was at least a little bummed when Buck didn’t. His stomach is in knots and if his heart speeds up anymore he’s pretty sure he's going to have a medical issue. He feels like his world is falling apart and reforming around him and he needs to speak to someone about it. His first thought is Bobby but it turns out he knows Tommy so Maddie it is, a neutral party and someone Buck should probably have come clean to a while ago about just how her nephew came to be.

———

Buck watches Theo stomp down the stairs of their apartment building. The kid had stopped halfway down to watch a bug make its way along the windowsill but unfortunately they were on a time crunch so as much as it had killed him Buck had carried on down the stairs, calling up for Theo when he realised his son wasn’t at his heels like usual. The lack of chatter should have been a hint but Buck had been so in his head since the cruise ship rescue and meeting Tommy again that it had taken him a second to realise.

“It was a bug family.” Theo cries as he almost trips over the last step and Buck’s hand shoots out without him thinking about it to catch him, parenting instincts are so cool, its like being a superhero sometimes. “Well, it looked like a family, there were two bigger ones and then a small baby one all walking in a line.”

Theo tugs at the zipper on his jacket as he chatters, backpack strap clutched tight in his other hand. His curls are a bit on the crazier side today, one or two sticking out oddly but Buck has learnt that there’s no point trying to tame them before he goes to school because they’ll come back ten times worse so he just hurries the boy towards the Jeep, running his hand over his son’s fluffy hair and briefly wondering if Tommy’s is just as soft still.

“Hi Mrs Shepherd. Hi Billy.” Theo calls to their neighbours who wave back with a smile because Theo has managed to charm almost everyone in their building by just being a happy little kid. “Daddy, why is Mrs Shepherd a mrs?” He asks Buck, those big blue eyes staring up at him as he helps Theo into the car.

“Because she’s married. To Mr Shepherd.” Buck clarifies after he jumps into the driver’s seat.

“Like Grandpa Bobby and Athena? Is she a mrs?”

“Yeah, Hen and Karen are married too.” He points out and Theo nods.

“How come you’re not married?” Theo is turned towards him, backpack clutched to his chest where it rests on his lap. 

“Oh, well. You marry your partner, the person you’re in love with and I, I don’t have one of those right now.” Buck tries not to grimace because he’s never wanted Theo to see how desperate Buck feels for love sometimes. Theo is amazing, Buck loves him so much and he’s the greatest love of Buck’s life but sometimes, sometimes Buck just finds himself yearning for more. For something different.

“I thought you made your person you’re in love with your mate?” Theo is frowning, lips pursed as he tries to understand the concept of marriage.

“Well you do sometimes but mating is a forever thing, there’s no changing that so sometimes people get married first because they love that person but mating is a big choice that you have to really be sure about.” Buck isn't sure he’s explaining this very well but he doesn’t really want to tell his five year old that mating is something that usually happens during sex, that its something primal between those two people and that its private, not a public ceremony like a wedding is. And marriage has tax benefits.

“But you don't have to be sure about getting married?” Theo asks, brows furrowed.

Buck shrugs because he’s definitely known one or two people who were not so sure about getting married but did it anyway. “No, you should be. But its different.” Buck hates telling Theo he’ll understand when he’s older but sometimes it has to be said.

“Do you wish you had someone you could marry?” Theo is watching him steadily, small hands now fiddling with the hem of his jacket.

“Sometimes.” Buck admits. “But I don’t need it.” Because he doesn’t, he might want it so deeply and badly sometimes but he doesn’t need it. “We’re happy just us, right?”

“Yeah!” Theo nods enthusiastically and Buck feels himself relax a smidge. “But if you did get married would they be my mom or dad? Like how Grandpa Bobby is May and Harry’s dad too?”

Buck’s grip on the wheel tightens as thoughts of Tommy race through his mind unbidden.

“If that’s what you wanted, kiddo. If you didn’t want another parent that would be okay too though.”

“Would it mean I have three parents? Because of my other daddy?” Theo’s tone hasn’t changed, still innocent and curious like it usually is when he’s asking questions but it still makes Buck’s eye twitch.

They pull up outside of Theo’s school and Buck reaches out to gently hold onto Theo’s wrist so the boy can’t immediately tumble out of the car.

“Does it bother you, T? And I want you to be honest, does it bother you that you only have one parent?” Buck’s heart is in his throat and he has to swallow past a lump when Theo shrugs.

“Not really. I love you, daddy. You’re my favourite person ever. And we have Aunt Maddie and Grandpa Bobby and Eddie.” Theo’s little face is so serious. “But I feel bad that we lost my other daddy, what if he’s lonely? Or, or scared? We could make him feel better if we found him. And we help people! I know families can be like us but what if he needs a family too?”

Buck simultaneously wants to crawl into a hole, curl up there and let the ground swallow him but also his heart feels like its swelling three sizes and he wants to burst into tears because Theo is so sweet, so good. He leans forward to gather Theo to him, inhaling his orange chocolate scent as he buries his face in Theo’s hair. Theo’s little arms come up to cling to Buck and Buck can tell his son is taking his own deep breath of Buck’s scent too. When they part he rubs his wrist over Theo’s cheek and the little boy leans into him. He’s not old enough yet to grumble and groan over Buck scenting him and Buck is going to cling onto that for as long as he can.

“Okay, I gotta go now.” Theo perks back up, turning to fling the door open. “See you later, daddy. Love you.” And with that he tumbles out of the car and sets off at a run towards the school entrance, turning to wave at Buck when he shouts that he loves him too before a teacher guides him into the building.

Buck finds himself driving to Maddie’s before he’s even really conscious of his decision.

———

“I need to tell you something.” He blurts out as soon as Maddie opens her front door. “Actually lots of things.” He pushes his way in and heads for the kitchen with Maddie at his heels. “Chim isn’t around, right? This is for your ears only for now.”

“He took Jee out to the park, you have about an hour before they come back. What’s going on?” Her brow is knit together with concern but she takes the bottle of water he hands her before he braces himself against the kitchen counter and takes a deep breath.

“You know how I told you that Theo’s dad was a one night stand that I couldn’t get into contact with after and that I didn’t remember much but I’m also glad I got Theo out of it?”

Maddie nods as she twists the water bottle in her hands before she slowly sinks down into her seat. As he watches her Buck realises that she would have been able to find Tommy so easily, so quickly if he’d just opened his mouth years ago instead of feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

“Yeah, you’ve always insisted that you had a good time but can’t remember most of it but I’m assuming that that might not be true.” She narrows her eyes. “You weren’t part of some extra marital affair or anything were you? Or something worse?” She suddenly looks concerned again and Buck waves her off.

“What? No. No. I, er, I’ve not been completely truthful about the remembering part. I’ve always remembered the actual sex, that was great. And its how I got Theo, you know-“

“Yes, yes, the only knot you’ve ever had. You’ve told me several times more than I need to hear it. I don’t need that part again.” She frowns at him. “But you’re saying you remember the guy?”

“Yeah I remember him.” Buck looks down, bites his lip and blinks away the image of Tommy that his brain just conjured up. 

Tommy laid in bed next to him, hair messy and sheets pooled around his waist. Tommy hovering over him, Tommy leaning in to kiss him, Tommy’s face screwed up in pleasure, Tommy looking up at him from across the bar. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.

“And you’re telling me this now because? What’s got you looking so spooked?”

“I think Theo wants to know his dad. His other dad. He’s been on a family kick recently with school and stuff and this morning he was talking about how we’ve lost his dad, how he might be sad or lonely without us and I don’t know. Before I, I knew he was in LA. The guy.” 

Maddie sits up straighter.

“He lives in LA?” She trails off and Buck finds himself blushing, shame and embarrassment curling in his gut.

“Still lives here.” Maddie’s eyes widen. “I never, I never told you the whole story before because I didn’t want to admit that I was embarrassed about it. I, I was just another careless omega that got knocked up the first time he ever took a knot and the alpha didn’t even want to, well that’s not true I guess. But I was a little bit ashamed about it all. That I’d been reckless enough to get pregnant after a one night stand. Which, I know you don’t care, that you love Theo and nobody really has ever made me feel bad about it, not even mom and dad but I felt young and stupid and I know I didn’t have to keep Theo, I could’ve gone on my merry way, but I wanted to and I thought I’d get over it eventually, feeling stupid I mean. And I guess recently I have, after the whole lightening thing and stuff I realised it was time to let that particular hurt go, that it happens to people all the time.”

“Happened to me.” Maddie points out with a wry grin. “And you never, ever made me feel bad about it. Like you said, these things can happen.”

“You were at least with Chimney though and now you're gonna get married to him too. Its different.” He shrugs and Maddie taps her fingers against the counter “Anyway. I thought when I woke up the morning after and there was no note or number that T-he, the guy, was rejecting me, that he’d left and that was that so I just pushed it all aside in my mind and honestly I’d pretty much forgotten it all until I found out I was pregnant. Or I told myself I had and then once Theo was around I was busy, I had things going on and I just forgot. But it turns out its a small world.”

“You’ve decided to go looking for him?” Maddie leans forward, eager for answers and Buck grimaces.

“Not really. But I have seen him again. Recently.” He finally takes his own seat with a sigh. “Before I tell you the rest though I feel like you should know that that night, in Peru, it felt special. Which is cheesy and ridiculous but it was. I felt, safe, I guess. Like he cared if I felt good and for once I didn’t feel used after. Not until the morning anyway. He was sweet and kind and the whole night was amazing. I’ve never had that since, that instant connection, not in that way anyway. And I’m not trying to make him sound like he’s my soulmate or something, I just want you to get that he felt different.”

Maddie nods. “I get it. He kind of blew your mind then?”

“Yeah.” Buck lets out a short laugh and shakes his head. “Yeah. He told me he was a firefighter, which, hot, you know?” Maddie laughs and nods again. “But was gonna be a firefighter pilot, for the LAFD. There’s not a ton of them so realistically I should’ve been able to find him but I just blanked it afterwards. I remembered the firefighter part but there’s a lot more of them in LA and who’s to say he’d have even stuck around.”

“You can’t beat yourself up over that, you had a lot going on.” Maddie reaches across the table to squeeze his wrist.

“I guess. But he’s missed out on years of his kid’s life because I was scatterbrained and scared and ashamed. Theo’s missed out on years with his other dad. I, I bucked it up.” Maddie winces along with Buck. “And its not like I never thought of the guy, every time Theo did something new, hit some new milestone or achievement I’d write a letter and tell him about it. And I’d think about him some other times too.”

Buck didn’t think Maddie would want to hear about how Buck had salivated after Tommy’s knot when he was deep in the throes of heat the few times he’d seen one through since that night. It was a feeling he’d never quite forgotten no matter how hard he’d tried at sometimes.

“Its Tommy.” He forces out and he watches Maddie intently, waiting for her reaction.

“Who?” She frowns, head tilted just like Buck’s does when he has a question.

“The alpha. Theo’s dad. Its Tommy. The pilot.” He holds himself so stiffly as he waits for her to do or say something.

“Wait, that Tommy? Eddie’s new friend? Howie’s pilot friend Tommy?” Her eyebrows climb up her forehead and Buck feels himself pouting.

“I technically met him before Eddie.” Buck grits out. “But yes, Tommy, who used to work with Hen and Chim and Bobby at the 118. The same Tommy that flew us all through a hurricane to rescue Cap and Athena the other week. Tommy, who Eddie is apparently best friends with now. He’s Theo’s other dad.”

“Wow.” She sighs, body deflating as she chews her lip.

“Wow? What wow?” Buck sits up even straighter somehow as he almost glares at her.

“Just it is a small world, isn’t it?” She fights a smile. “Howie thinks Tommy is so cool. He went on and on about him after you all got back the other day.” Her smile fades again. “What are you going to do? Does Tommy know about Theo in general?”

“No, I don’t think so. I haven’t mentioned him anyway. I asked for a tour of Harbor Station. Don’t-“ He holds up a hand. “I know it was stupid but I wanted to feel him out and its all I could think of because he’s been hanging out with Eddie already and I didn’t want Eddie to tell him about Theo but I mean he might have already, I don’t know. But when we were together he asked why I never called. And I got a little mad, thought he was being a dick but it turns out he did leave his number. He’s got, or had, photographic evidence that he left it so it turns out he never rejected me and he was disappointed that I didn’t call and all this time Theo’s dad has been right there. Tommy has been right there, so close and I just haven’t been able to quite reach him.” He shoves his hands into his hair and yanks.

“Buck.” Maddie’s chair scrapes against the floor as she stands up.

“I know I need to tell him. I know! But how am I supposed to tell him that I was so weirdly upset and blinded by him seemingly rejecting me after one night that I blacked out every single thing we talked about unless we were in bed because even I couldn’t forget that, its so pathetic! And what if he does reject me, us, this time. Its one thing to not want anything to do with a baby that hasn’t been born yet but Theo is a real, breathing, living kid, a whole human being now and he’s smart, he’s going to ask about his other dad again and I really wouldn’t put it past the kid to somehow find Tommy when he’s older and then what? And Tommy’s already hung out with Eddie and Chris, they’re friends, he might already know about Theo existing and the Diaz boys aren’t stupid either, they’re going to figure it out. He even smells like Theo!” Buck is sucking in a breath to carry on with his spiral when Maddie stops him.

“Evan.” She says, tone firm but hand gentle when she places it on his arm. “Stop. You’re going to work yourself up into a frenzy like this. Breathe.”

He sucks in another large breath, holds it, then deflates and sags against Maddie.

“I hate this.” He mutters. “I, I, I want to reach back in time and just tell myself to get over feeling rejected and embarrassed and to, to remember he’s a pilot here and just ask. Maddie, I-“ his voice wobbles and he curls into himself as Maddie wraps him in her arms. “I feel like an idiot and its causing problems for three people. I love Theo so much and I don’t want him to get hurt and telling Tommy is opening him up to that but not telling Tommy is just as bad for both of them.”

“I’m sorry.” Maddie holds him tighter and Buck reaches up to curl his fingers into her sleeve, much like Theo does to him when he’s feeling anxious.

“This whole time I’ve just sort of turned Tommy into an idea with all those letters, he stopped feeling like he was ever a person and as soon as I let myself think about him again and actually let myself remember that night he’s back in my life somehow.”

“Maybe its fate.” Maddie tries with a hint of a smile in her voice. “Some string tying you together.”

“Yeah, well, fate has a weird sense of humour.” He bitches.

“Look, you know what you have to do, Buck. You’ve got to tell him now that he’s here. You explain the situation, you tell him about Theo and you let him decide what he wants to do and don’t spiral if it takes him a minute, its big news, okay?” Buck nods. “His decision doesn’t alter your worth either, you’ve been doing great with Theo since before he was born and if Tommy decides he doesn’t want to be a part of that then he’s missing out. Do you know anything else about him now? Does he have a family of his own?”

Buck’s stomach completely drops.

“I, I don’t know. I was distracted at Harbor and then he went off with Eddie.” Buck isn’t pouting about it, he’s not, he’s just annoyed that he lost his opportunity to figure Tommy out.

He hears and feels Maddie blow out something between a breath and a sigh and he thinks she mutters something but its so low even he can’t hear it.

“What if they both hate me?” He almost whimpers and Maddie grips him tighter.

Her strawberry scent blankets him and he’s thrown back to being a child and seeking Maddie out whenever he needed the comfort he wouldn’t get anywhere else. Remembers hiding under the covers of her bed late at night when he’d had a nightmare and how the smell of strawberries would lull him to sleep because it meant he was safe again. Her scent still makes him feel safe, cared for even now and he’s not ashamed to say that in those years apart he’d sometimes buy a box of strawberries to try and get even a slither of the comfort Maddie used to provide.

“Firstly, Theo could never hate you, Buck. That little boy loves you to the moon and back and he knows that you love him too. Its always been you two and I can’t say he might not be upset, he’s only a kid but he’s not going to hate you. And Tommy seems like a nice guy, Howie raves about him, he’s clearly friendly with Eddie now and he helped you rescue his old captain all because one of his old colleagues had a hunch and Howie said please.” Buck lets out a wet laugh. “I don’t know him but I don’t think someone who wasn’t at least a decent man would do that. So, he might be upset too. He probably will be but you’ll have to ride it out and I’d give him a bit of grace about his reaction, its big news. And I don’t think anybody could hate you but maybe I’m biased.”

“He is good.” Buck mumbles because he knows it, somewhere in his chest he knows that Tommy is good.

“Well, if it all works out I’d like to meet him. Although with the way Howie is talking that might be sooner rather than later anyway, seems your alpha is in high demand.” She teases and Buck feels his face flame.

“Not my alpha.” He grumbles. “And please don’t tell Chim about this. Not yet anyway, not before I’ve told Tommy. You’re the only person who knows he’s Theo’s other dad right now.”

“Alright.” She says softly, giving him a final tight squeeze before she releases him.

He looks up at her and she gives him a little grin that looks just like Theo and Jee-Yun’s. Buck’s heart does a flip and he tries his own smile. It comes easier than he thought it would. He just needs to see Tommy again, get a feel for him and how he might react to the news that he has a five, nearly six year old, with an omega he had a one night stand with in Peru.

“They're going to basketball together. Playing basketball.” He says suddenly and he’s still not pouting, he’s not.

“Who?” Maddie swipes her water bottle and furrows her brows.

“Eddie and Tommy! Some pick up game, it was on Eddie’s calendar. I saw it the other night when Theo and I were over for dinner.”

“Was it circled with a heart around it?” Maddie smirks at him when he scoffs and Chimney and Jee come home to them sat together on the couch wrestling over the remote because Buck wants to put on a new documentary about bugs and Maddie wants to watch literally anything else. 

He pushes the thought of telling Tommy out of his mind for a while but as soon as he picks Theo back up from school it all comes creeping back in and he finds himself thinking about that basketball game. It wouldn’t be the worst idea to show up, right? Its a first responders game, its not like he would be crashing a private hang out. He’ll ask Chim if he wants to go, some brotherly bonding if he and Maddie are finally making things official and getting married. He should order a basketball.

———

Turns out the basketball game was a bad idea, a very bad idea. Buck isn’t sure what had taken over but he’d been irritated from the start because everywhere he turned there Eddie was and looking back trying to get alone time with Tommy during a team game was also a bad idea but Buck hadn’t been thinking straight. That’s his excuse anyway. He knows that as he stood looking at Eddie on the ground his scent had spiked with anger and a slight tinge of jealousy which he doesn’t want to think about because everyone could probably smell it on him, his scent blockers left at home for a change. Eddie had looked confused and Tommy’s eyes had darted away from him when Buck had finally glanced towards the alpha.

Its just hard! Tommy has only gotten better looking, which doesn’t seem at all fair and he smells so, so good too. And all his attention had been on Eddie, they’ve become thick as thieves in a couple of weeks and they have a ton in common and Buck feels like an odd end when he’s around them and he had Tommy’s child! Not that Tommy knows that. And Buck does feel bad about Eddie’s ankle, he’d calmed down as he drove home and then he’d picked Theo up and let his scent wash over him. Although, Theo also does smell alarmingly similar to Tommy so it didn’t help as much as Buck wished it did. Now Theo is squirming to be put down so Buck reluctantly sets him back on the floor.

“Can we have pizza for dinner?” He asks, eyes wide as he looks up at Buck.

“I told you this morning, its leftover night. You can have anything from the leftovers we have in the fridge.” Buck had to learn how to push past the puppy eyes Theo gives him and not immediately cave when his little boy pouts but he’s gotten much better at it and now he just stares Theo out until the kid sighs and heads for the fridge.

“Can I have this? Please?” Theo remembers his manners and tacks the please on hurriedly and Buck can’t help but snort out a laugh.

“Sure, let me heat it up for you.”

“Did you know that some fish can make their own light? At the bottom of the ocean where its really dark. Like, really, really far down.” Theo is stood by his leg, following him around the kitchen and carrying on their tradition of relaying fun facts they learnt that day to each other. Buck’s are often watered down for Theo to understand but he also learns things from Theo sometimes too, its fun.

“Really? How did you find that out?” Buck always makes sure he sounds interested even if Theo is telling him something he already knows.

“I read it. I got a new book from the library with Carla. I’ll get it.” Theo tears off towards his backpack by the door and comes back with a dark blue book. “Its about space and land too but it has a bit about the ocean. Can we go and look for more tomorrow?” Theo looks at him hopefully as he grips the book in his little hands. “Please.”

“Of course we can. How about after we eat we can read it together and if we have time we can look some stuff up online too?” Buck smiles down at Theo as he holds his hand out to have a look at the book.

“Really?” Theo squeals with delight when Buck nods and suddenly he has arms wrapped around his legs and Theo’s face pressed into the side of his thigh. “Thank you, daddy!”

Something in Buck’s chest loosens and the tension he’s been holding since the basketball game, since Theo talked about his dad a couple of days ago really, fades a little. He picks Theo up to sit on one of the kitchen stools, a rare treat because Buck usually makes them eat at the dining table, and they sit side by side as they each inhale their dinner. They sit on the couch and read Theo’s book, both of them getting distracted by tangents that they look up online and Buck takes a moment to appreciate how smart Theo is and hopes that his thirst for knowledge never dries up. Buck wants to be listening to fun facts from Theo for the rest of his life. His friends and family say that Theo is a mini version of Buck and its nights like tonight where they’re curled up on the couch together, sucked into a research spiral and Buck is watching his kid light up that he thinks that they might all be right.

Eventually Buck does have to cart Theo off to bed and he whines and grumbles but with a promise of a trip to the library the next day he runs off to pick out a pair of fresh pyjamas. Buck tucks him, gives both Theo and his teddy a kiss, flicks the nightlight on and carefully shuts the door behind him. He wanders back towards the couch to pick up the glasses the two of them had left, screaming into a pillow before he does just to get rid of the tension that's still stuck in his body. It doesn’t really work but he does feel at least marginally better. He cleans up from dinner, then pulls out some bills he has to check over but before he can get too far into it there’s a knock at his door.

“T-Tommy.” He stutters when he opens it to reveal the alpha stood on the other side. 

He gapes at him for a moment, stunned into silence and Tommy stares back before he straightens up.

“Can I come in?” He asks and Buck snaps back into action, waving Tommy inside and slowly shutting the door behind him.

His heart is pounding. There’s evidence of Theo all over the place, his backpack by the door, small shoes littered close by, drawings on the fridge and photos dotted around the apartment. It also smells like the two of them in here, the orange at least is more overpowering than the chocolate because of Buck. Tommy is doing a slow turn as he takes in the cosy living space, eyes drifting over all the little markers that a child also lives here.

“Nice place.” And he sounds sincere as he turns back to look at Buck.

“Thanks. Can I get you anything? Beer, water?”

“No its okay, I have a shift soon. Look, I just wanted to stop by and clear the air.” Tommy had paused in his perusal of the apartment and was leaning against one of the dining table chairs, one hand on his hip.

Buck’s heart is still pounding. He’s half concentrating on what Tommy is saying about some bad blood between him, Buck and Eddie but the other half of his mind is taken up with the thought of their family being under one roof for the first time ever. Tommy is in his kitchen, they’re drifting closer together and Theo is tucked away in his bedroom, sleeping soundly by now and has no idea that his other dad is right here. Buck is standing in front of the kitchen island now, Tommy mere feet away and they’re talking about fake mouth static and Tommy’s whiskey and chocolate scent is slowly encasing him. Buck tilts his head and really looks at Tommy, he glances over his shoulder and sees a picture of Theo on the wall and swallows.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention. Spend some time with you.” He admits and he watches Tommy’s eyes widen.

“My attention?” He questions and Buck nods.

“Yeah, yours. I know I could’ve just called or something but I, I don’t know. And my sister was saying there are better ways-“

He’s cut off by a pair of lips slotting against his, a couple fingers pressed against his jaw and Buck just melts into it. The hand on his waist tightens when Buck sways into Tommy and it feels like coming home. He reaches up to run a hand through Tommy’s hair and it is soft, just like Theo’s, and with that thought Buck yanks himself away and finds himself finally blurting it all out.

“Sorry, I, you should know, I. We, you- we have a kid. He’s in his room right now. Sleeping. But that night, in Peru, I don’t know how, well I know how but I, you got, er, you knocked me up I guess and, and he’s definitely yours because we, you know, erm that night, with your. Well. There was nobody else that could’ve but, erm, I didn’t realise until I was here, in LA. And I’d actually just got through the academy, you kinda put the idea in my head you know, anyway, I couldn’t, didn’t want to get rid of him and if I’d have known how to find you and tell you I would’ve, you’ve been so close this whole time and I didn’t know because I forgot because I’m an idiot and-“ Tommy’s eyes are wide and he has the same expression that Theo gets when he’s overwhelmed so Buck snaps his mouth shut.

“What?” Is all Tommy manages to choke out. 

Buck shrugs a little, giving him a sheepish grin and ducking his head, he gestures towards one of the photos of Theo on the wall. “Sorry, that was a lot. But I guess I had your baby and he’s amazing, Tommy, if you ever want to meet him. No pressure, of course.” And suddenly he’s defensive, “I’ve managed just fine on my own so far, we both have so its fine if you don’t want-“ he cuts himself off but his unspoken ‘if you don’t want us’ hangs between them.

Tommy takes a step back looking like a deer in headlights.

“I have a son.” He says quietly and Buck nods, twisting his fingers together.

“I wish I’d’ve told you sooner. But I, well, I was trying to forget about you with the lack of note and I felt, well, it doesn’t matter, but I’m sorry. Really.” Tommy nods absently as he stares blankly ahead and Buck tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. “His name is Theo.” He adds after a moment of silence. “I call him T a lot. I wanted him to have something of yours but Tommy felt a bit on the nose so it ended up being T.”

“Theo. Short for Theodore or just Theo?” Buck smiles at the question.

“Just Theo.” And Tommy smiles then, his nose scrunching up and he rocks on the balls of his feet. “His middle name is Alexander. I think I was high on pain meds and I liked the sound of it and felt like he should have a middle name so Alexander it was. He doesn’t like it though, says its hard to spell.” Buck chuckles when Tommy snorts then he watches Tommy’s face fall.

“I’m sorry you had to do it all alone, Evan.” His warm hand is back on Buck’s waist and he leans into it without thinking, his body naturally seeking out the warmth and solidness of Tommy.

“I’m sorry too. I'm so, so sorry I didn’t try to find you earlier. Its been hard but he’s been worth it. I’m really sorry you missed it, missed him.” Tears sting his eyes and Tommy’s look a little red too. “He has your eyes you know. Everyone thinks they’re just blue like mine but I know they’re yours.” He slides a thumb across Tommy’s cheek just under one of those blue eyes and it comes back wet.

“I don’t, I-” Tommy stops and takes a deep breath. “This is a lot, I just. I’m not, I’m just surprised I think. Well, I know. I don’t, I’m not mad?” He’s glancing round the apartment with fresh eyes and he squeezes Buck's waist briefly.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t be upset if you were. I kinda fucked up.” Buck tries to swallow past that lump of guilt in his throat again and he fights the sting of tears as he stares at Tommy.

“No, Evan. Its- its not fine, of course its not fine, I missed so much but you thought I didn’t want you, I, I get that you wouldn’t-“ Tommy cuts himself off and frowns before he does take a small step back again, hand slipping away from Buck and he almost whimpers at the loss.

“Are you seeing someone? You have a family that you go home to already? That’s, that would make things more complicated I know and you don’t have to, like I said we’ve been fine so far and I can’t say Theo won't want to find you again when he’s older, he’s been talking about families a lot recently I don’t know what’s set him off but I get that, I get that if you already have someone, a family of your own then yeah. I know its hardly fair to just spring this on you.” Buck shrugs when he realises he’s rambling and presses his lips together.

Tommy’s mouth twitches and he tilts his head as he looks at Buck.

“I was going to ask you on a date.” He chuckles softly and the noise sends a little thrill through Buck.

“What?”

“After I kissed you. I was going to ask if you were free on Saturday. For a date. So no, no somebody. But then you told me we had a kid together and knocked the thought right out of my head.” Tommy says, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You can ask me now.” Buck blurts out eagerly before he can stop himself and he feels a red hot blush stain his cheeks after the words have slipped out of his mouth.

“Evan.” Tommy sighs, smile falling and Buck’s heart sinks but then Tommy is reaching out to straighten his shirt for him and patting his chest. “I think I need a minute to process this. I, I don’t have a family or anything so that’s not going to be an issue but I feel like a rug just got pulled out from under me.”

“Understandable.” Buck nods because he remembers exactly how he’d felt when that test had come back positive, how much he’d cried all over Bobby, and he finds his fingers itching to reach out for Tommy, to comfort him somehow.

“I think I’d want to meet him but I don’t want to rush into that choice because its not just me its him too. I don’t want to hurt him or, or disappoint him, you know?” Tommy looks a little pained as he speaks and he glances down at his feet before looking back at Buck.

Buck does know and the fact that Tommy is thinking about Theo too in all of this is lighting up some kind of signal in Buck’s brain. Its the lowest of bars to clear but Buck knows a lot of people would only be thinking of themselves in this moment. Finding out you have a child out there in the world can’t be easy but Tommy is handling it with a lot of grace so far.

“I really did want to ease you into this more but sometimes I speak before I can think something through. Although I may have also over thought the whole thing and talked myself in and out of telling you a hundred times so maybe ripping the bandaid off was a good thing in the end. I didn’t want you to hear about him from someone else. Eddie and Chris, I don’t know if they’ve talked about him, I think I was feeling a bit mad that it couldn’t be me telling you, if that makes any sense?” He tries for a smile and Tommy has the decency to let out a little laugh. “Its okay for you to take a moment, or several, to think about all this but if you have questions in the meantime just ask, you have my number.”

Tommy nods absently and Buck’s heart lurches.

“Well, they didn’t really talk about Theo too much if that makes you feel better. Eddie just mentioned you had a son too and Chris was much more focused on telling me how you were the best.” Tommy shakes his head. “I can’t believe I have a kid.” Tommy says softly and he takes a step towards the wall where a framed photo of Theo hangs, he gives Buck a questioning look and he nods back. “He’s adorable. Just like you.” Buck isn't sure Tommy meant for him to hear that last part because its said so lowly but he just about catches it and it makes his ears warm.

“We made a really cute one.” He agrees.

“I-“ Tommy starts as he slowly turns round. “What are you doing Saturday?”

“What?” Is Tommy going to ask him out after all? “Er, nothing. I’m free.”

“Give me until Saturday to think this all over and I’ll let you know? I’ll take you to dinner and we can talk things out properly then? You like Italian?”

“I do. That sounds more than fair, Tommy. Again I’m really sorry-“

“Evan. Let’s just save it for Saturday, okay?” Buck nods, biting his lip as Tommy heads for the door. “I think I already have my answer but let me just make sure, yeah?  I don’t want to mess either of you around."

“I’d rather you be sure before you meet him but I won’t object if you want to be a part of his life, Tommy. Even if that’s not as his parent.” Buck watches Tommy frown, a neat little crease forming between his brows before he nods.

“I just hope he likes me.” That pained look is back on Tommy’s face. “And that he can forgive me for not being around.”

“He will.” Buck is confident in his answer, Theo is a smart kid and as long as Tommy doesn’t string either of them along then Theo will most likely adore him. 

Buck already kind of can’t wait to see how Theo reacts to the news that his other dad can fly planes and helicopters, its going to blow his mind.

“You think?” Tommy is smiling again and Buck finds his lips turning upwards too.

“I know. You do know you’re like, the coolest a guy could be to a five year old right? And you helped to rescue his grandpa so you’re already starting off strong. He’s also in a bit of a deep sea phase so if you decide you want to do this maybe look up some facts or pick a favourite creature. He’s a little bit of an oddball.” Buck knows he sounds beyond fond and adoring but Theo is such a weird little kid sometimes, Buck loves it.

“Deep sea, got it.” Tommy snorts but he’s still smiling. “It’s been nice seeing you again, Evan. I always wondered what you got up to. I should’ve just taken the plunge and looked you up in the system. Or come to visit Howie at work.”

“Its been nice to see you too.” Buck takes a step towards Tommy. “It is kind of crazy we’ve never bumped into each other on a scene. Bobby never lets me ride in the choppers though, thinks I’ll get ideas about learning how to fly and leave the 118.”

“If I could go back I’d leave the note with your clothes. Or pin it to your forehead.” Tommy is leaning against the door, watching Buck come closer.

“I’d look harder. And I’d come looking for you as soon as I touched down in LA. I, ah, I do think about that night a lot.” He comes to stand right in front of Tommy.

“Me too.” Tommy’s voice has dipped low and it sends all of Buck’s blood south.

“I,” he pauses, eyes flicking down to Tommy’s lips. “I hope I haven’t scared you off.”

“You haven’t.” Tommy leans forward slightly and Buck dives back in for another kiss. Its soft, quick but when they pull away both of them linger for a moment. “We shouldn’t.” Tommy says quietly and Buck sighs.

“I know. But if, if you are interested in sticking around then I would love to go on a date with you. In case you wanted to know.”

Tommy’s head thuds against the door and he looks at Buck through half lidded eyes. “You’re something else, you know that?” Buck shrugs. “But noted. I’ll see you Saturday.”

And with that Tommy is gone and Buck is left standing by the door inhaling Tommy’s scent that hovers in the air. He lets out a sigh, his shoulders dropping from under his ears because now Tommy knows. Tommy knows about Theo and he didn’t run off into the distance, not immediately anyway, but Buck has a good feeling, a great feeling in fact.

———

Buck ends up constantly texting Tommy throughout the next week. The alpha has so many questions about Theo and Buck is eager to answer them all. Tommy hasn’t given him an answer yet of course but Buck is hopeful if Tommy is showing this much interest.

Tell me some fun Theo facts, what’s his favourite colour? His favourite food? Does he have allergies?

Alright that last one isn’t so fun but its important.

Buck laughs at Tommy’s latest message and immediately starts typing his answers. He doesn’t notice Bobby watching him from the kitchen and Hen, Chim and Eddie all side eyeing him from their spot at the other end of the table.

He really likes blue and like any normal five year old he loves chocolate and ice cream but I can convince him to indulge in an apple if I’m lucky

And he’s not allergic to anything but he can’t have raspberries, they make him sick, think its some kind of intolerance but its easy to avoid so I’ve not looked into it properly yet

Strawberries are nicer anyway. But I’m partial to oranges, especially the smell.

Buck feels his face flame as he reads Tommy’s text and he bites his lip. There’s been a flirty undertone to some of their messages and he doesn’t know what to do with it. They’re both clearly interested but the situation is complicated right now.

“Alright, who’s got you looking at your phone like that? You got a new paramour?” Chim has slide over one seat and Buck protectively hunches around his phone.

“None of your business.” He says and clutches his phone tightly when Chim’s eyes drop to it.

“You’ve never not told us before. You turning over a new leaf?” Hen teases and Buck rolls his eyes.

“I just don’t want to jinx anything.” His chair scrapes against the floor as he stands up and goes to grab a bottle of water before he heads down to the gym.

He doesn’t do much working out though because Tommy is texting again.

So, favourite animal? Favourite toy? What was he like as a baby?

Right now its an anglerfish (deep sea phase still ongoing) but it changes a lot

Favourite toy is his teddy bear he’s had since he was a baby but he’s got this helicopter that sits on his bedside table which he loves, crazy how he was so into helicopters and planes almost right away, huh?

I’d like to say he was a perfect baby but not sure those exist, he was happy though always ready to give anybody a smile and cuddly which I loved

I can see you raising a happy baby, I’m glad he had you Evan.

You want to see some pictures?

Buck finds himself chewing his lip again as he waits. There’s a churning in his gut and his heart feels like its been squeezed too tight. Whenever he thinks about Tommy missing so much he feels like there’s an endless pit in his stomach, an ache so deep that he’s not sure he’ll ever feel anything other than intensely sad about it. Especially now he knows it could have been avoidable. He knows its not healthy to sit in it but he’s not sure how he’s ever going to feel differently. He probably needs to call his therapist. His phone buzzing puts a halt to his silent spiral.

I’d love to.

As many as you want to show me.

And so begins the threads and threads of pictures Buck sends. He has hundreds on his phone and a lot more stored on his computer but he’s kept his favourites on his phone for him to scroll back and look through whenever he wants.

He works backwards, starting with some from the last few months. One of Theo in an apron, hands covered in flour and Bobby stood next to him (also covered in flour) both beaming at the camera. Another of Theo and Jee-Yun passed out together on the sofa at Maddie’s after a Toy Story marathon. Then he scrolls further up and sends one from Christmas, then Theo in his halloween costume that Buck had spent hours working on and one from Theo’s birthday last year. He works back to Halloween from two years ago (Curious George and The Man in the Yellow Hat - it had been adorable and Buck had been silently devastated when Theo had picked a costume that Buck couldn’t match with the year after, breaking the little tradition Buck had started) before he has to put his phone down because they’re called out.

Buck doesn’t send anymore photos until he’s home because the latter half of his shift had been really busy and he wants to know what Tommy thinks of them all and if he thinks their kid is as cute as Buck thinks he is. Tommy does and it makes Buck flush with pride.

He picks Theo up from school and the kid comes tearing out of the building and heads straight for him as fast as his legs will carry him. Buck scoops him up, tosses him over his shoulder and heads towards his car, all whilst Theo shrieks with laughter and waves goodbye to his friends as he dangles upside down. Theo thunders off to his room when they get home, making Buck wince as he thinks about their downstairs neighbours and he calls after Theo but only gets a vague shout back. Buck starts to make dinner, sending pictures through to Tommy when he gets the chance. After dinner Theo wants to watch a movie so as Moana plays Buck works back to Theo being a newborn.

His face was so squished when he first came out but I think I was blinded by love because I thought he was so beautiful right from the first moment I saw him

He was, he is. Its incredible that you could do that.

You think? Feeling him move around when I was pregnant was really weird but when I went for my scans later on he was always fidgeting think he got that from me

I’m a fidgeter too, drives Donato up the wall when we’re on a call together so I guess Theo was never going to escape that.

Do you have any of your ultrasounds? I know you’ve already sent me a lot and its fine if you don’t but it would just be nice to see him right from the start.

Unless that’s weird?

Buck squirms in his seat and Theo glances at him before focusing back on the movie. He thumbs through his phone and finds the pictures he’d taken of each of his scans spread throughout pictures and videos of his bump. He opens one up and its a video of his belly and a few seconds in you can see Theo kick and Chim’s voice in the background yelling something inaudible. There’s another video next that’s got Buck’s hand splayed on his stomach before he shifts and prods himself and a moment later you can see Theo kick again. This time its Bobby’s soft murmur in the background followed by a little huff from Buck. 

He’s come so far from that version of himself. He’d been so scared but tried so hard to put on a brave face about it all and there’s that ache again that flares up anytime he thinks about how close Tommy had been. Its the gnawing ache that has Buck’s thumb selecting each scan and then a few pictures and videos from late into his pregnancy, just a few weeks before Theo had come, and hitting send. He flushes when he realises that in that bunch was also a shirtless picture and he panics, then locks his phone before he flings it onto the coffee table.

Theo looks over at him again, sniffs once, then crawls across the couch to snuggle up to him. Buck happily takes him into his arms and cuddles him close, nose pressed into Theo’s soft curls.

“I like Moana.” Theo mumbles from his spot against Buck’s side.

“Yeah? How come?”

“She’s friends with the ocean.” Theo yawns. “That’s cool.” He snuggles closer and Buck smoothes down his hair for him. “Daddy, please can I have an ocean party for my birthday?”

“An ocean party?” Buck frowns because he doesn’t really want to be responsible for several children playing in the ocean.

“Yeah. With all the deep sea creatures we’re learning. And we could have blue food. And bubbles!”

Oh, Theo wants an ocean themed party. That’s fine, Buck can easily pull off a theme. Hen has a cake guy and Buck knows there's a clipboard somewhere in the kitchen.

“Of course. We’ll think about it this week and figure it out, okay?” Buck squeezes Theo, which makes him giggle and hold onto Buck.

“Thank you. I love you.” Theo looks up at him with adoration plain on his face and Buck will never get over that, that he’s Theo’s whole world when they’re cocooned in their home, tucked together on the couch or in Buck’s nest and all Theo needs is him.

“I love you too, T.” He presses a kiss to Theo’s forehead, swallows down the lump in his throat and tries not to think about how much he’d crumble if Theo ever stopped needing to be held by his dad like this.

They watch the rest of the movie curled up together and then Buck gets Theo ready for bed. He ignores his phone the whole time and only tentatively picks it back up when Theo is completely passed out in his room and Buck has tidied both the kitchen and the living room. He almost slams it back down when he sees that Tommy has replied but he takes a deep breath and swipes open the messages.

I’m really sorry I missed it, Evan.

You’re beautiful, then and now.

Sometimes I thought I’d made you up.

Buck can feel the heat rising up his face and his thumb strokes his phone screen as if he’s trying to physically caress Tommy’s words. His insides feel like they’re twisting together and he has to take a moment and remind himself to slow down. They’re not there yet, Tommy hasn't even fully confirmed if he wants to be Theo’s dad in any way other than biologically yet but he’s making it so hard.

Me too

Sorry you missed it and I also thought I’d made you up sometimes

And thank you I don’t think I’ve ever been called beautiful

I thought I’d be really bothered about the baby weight and stretch marks and stuff and maybe I was a little but it was mostly just really cool to see him grow and watch my body do all that

Well, you looked really good if you don’t mind me saying, I don’t want to make it weird or anything.

You’re not

Buck’s thumbs hover over his screen for a minute. He wants to keep talking to Tommy but he doesn’t know what to say. There’s so much he missed, so much Buck could tell him but he doesn’t want to be overwhelming or too much or exhaust Tommy.

I should let you go, my shift just ended and by the time I get back you’ll probably want to get some sleep, you’re up early tomorrow right?

Yeah early shift

I really like talking to you though so if you have anymore questions just ask I don’t mind

Goodnight Tommy

I really like talking to you too.

Goodnight Evan.

When Buck eventually heads to bed that night he falls asleep with a small smile on his face and his phone clutched in his hand, his and Tommy’s text thread still open.

———

Buck is putting away leftovers into the fridge at the station for B shift when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

Are you up right now?

Sorry that sounded like a come on but I’m on shift and if you’re up I was wondering if it would be easier to just talk on the phone but I don’t know if that’s something you’d want to do?

Buck feels like he should be a little embarrassed about how quickly he hits call but by the time he registers it Tommy has already picked up.

“Evan? Hey. You’re up then?”

“Yeah, I’m just finishing a 48. The others are catching up on some sleep but I’m too wired so just sorting out the kitchen but we only have an hour left.”

“I got 12.” Tommy lets out a little chuckle. “Good shift?”

“Yeah, q-. Erm, yeah. Sorry.”

“No, I get it. Did Hen and Howie drill not using that word into you?” Buck laughs at Tommy’s wry tone and confirms that they did. “Yeah, I was there when Hen invoked the wrath of the q-word for the first time. I’ve never been so dead on my feet. And its the always weirdest calls too.”

“What were Hen and Chim like? Back then I mean. And Bobby? You were there when he took over the 118 right?”

Tommy hums in acknowledgement and Buck drifts towards the couch. “I was kind of a dick. When Howie and Hen started. The 118, it was different. A boys club, you know the kind. I tried so hard to not bring attention to myself I ended up being an asshole. But Howie kicked some sense into me. Saved my life too. And Hen, well, she’s incredible, isn’t she?” Buck can hear the slight awe in Tommy’s voice and he finds himself nodding. “She came in and told us all exactly what she thought and honestly it was the kick that I think we needed. I thought I was going to be sick submitting those complaints about our old captain, thought for sure he’d figure out it was me and Howie and our buddy Sal but they got rid of the old bastard and I never had to find out if he knew.”

“They said your old captain was a piece of work, Gerrard, right?”

“Yeah that’s him. He was not a Captain Nash, that’s for sure. Far from it. We’d been tossed around by the time Bobby arrived, captain after captain that didn’t stay but we were a team so it was fine but then Captain Nash turned up and he was just different, I guess. He was, ah, actually the first person I came out to.”

“Really?” Buck sits up straighter, eager to eat up whatever Tommy will tell him about himself and his team.

“Yeah, I was helping clean up after family dinner and it just sort of slipped out and he didn’t even stutter, just carried on the conversation like it was no big deal and I didn’t realise how much better it would make me feel to finally say it out loud. I was sad to leave the 118 behind when I transferred out here but I love flying and Harbor is great. Although not as insane as you guys from what Howie tells me.”

“Hey, we don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble finds us.”

“I’m sure.” Tommy laughs and Buck feels himself shiver at the sound. “So, I actually was calling to ask you about a tour of Harbor. For Theo. You said he liked helicopters so I figured. Well, it doesn’t have to be me that gives the tour so, you know, even if things,” Tommy audibly swallows and Buck is slammed with an endearing fondness for the guy and he puts him out of his misery.

“That would be amazing. I was actually thinking, on our tour, that I’d need to come back with Theo one day.”

“Yeah? You think he’d like it?” Tommy sounds quietly eager and Buck can picture him sitting up a bit straighter.

“I think he’d love it. He’s always loved them, right from being a baby. One would fly over and he’d just lock onto it and stare until it was gone. I kept thinking he’d damage his eyes looking up at the sky because babies don’t understand that looking directly at the sun is dangerous so I found these sunglasses that they do for babies. Those polarised ones, you know? I’d still freak out if it was in the sun’s path so I’d just sort of stand in front of him. Lead to a few tantrums but yeah, one of the first lessons that I made sure stuck with him, don’t look directly at the sun. I think I still have a pair of those baby glasses, they’re so small and I know he’s only 5 so its not like he’s not a kid anymore but he just seems so big now. I used to be able to hold him in one arm. Not that I did because I was freaked out that I’d drop him but Bobby used to and Theo would look so tiny but he never cried, loved being held like that actually. And-“ Buck is suddenly aware that he’s been talking and talking and not letting Tommy get a word in at all and he snaps his mouth shut so hard his teeth click.

“Evan? Everything okay?” Tommy’s frown is audible and Buck pulls his phone away from his ear to check that the call is still connected for some reason.

“Er, yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. Cool. Sorry I was just talking a lot and I know it can be annoying and I don’t want it to feel like I’m, I don’t know, rubbing your face in all this stuff?”

“I-“ Tommy starts and Buck hears him let out a little huff and there’s some shuffling before Tommy speaks again. “I like hearing about it, I want to hear about it all. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt because it really does. I, I wish I could’ve been there too but that’s not how it worked out and I’d like to be here now.” Tommy huffs a little laugh. “But I’m not supposed to tell you that until Saturday.”

Buck hates that he can physically feel his heart aching at Tommy’s wistful tone and he wants to scream at the universe to reverse time, send him back to the moment Theo was born, the moment he took that test, the moment he touched down in LA. But he can’t go back, he can only go forward and now that Tommy is in reach Buck wants to yank him along too.

“Only two days left.” Buck chokes out. He taps his fingers on the table. “I-“ he nearly tells Tommy about the letters but then it feels like someone has glued his throat up and he has to swallow past it, can’t get the words out. “There’s more photos and videos, I can give you them all if you want them. I don’t have them all on my phone but I have them all at home. And I can tell you everything I can remember if you want me to but you can tell me to stop if its, if its too much.”

“Thank you, Evan.” Tommy’s voice is low and soft and Buck finds himself pressing his phone closer to his ear. “I’d like that.”

“You wanna hear how I accidentally taught him the word asshole when he was 2 and how he wouldn’t stop saying it for at least a month because every time he did say it I’d laugh so he thought it was funny?” Tommy snorts and hums an affirmative and Buck launches into the story. “So we were driving one day and I’ll admit the LA traffic got the better of me and when someone cut me off I may have yelled a little bit, called the driver-“

“An asshole?” Tommy cuts in and Buck laughs, nodding despite Tommy not being able to see him.

“Wow, you’re so perceptive.” He’s still giggling a little and Tommy chuckles on the other end of the line, its deep and throaty and Buck holds the phone tighter.

Bobby comes up the stairs and frowns at Buck sitting there with his phone jammed against his ear but he doesn’t say anything, just watches him as he crosses the room to grab a drink. Buck’s eyes track his movements but he doesn’t stop talking to Tommy, telling him all about how Theo terrorised the workers at his daycare by randomly dropping the word right when they thought they’d gotten him to stop.

“It went on for weeks and it was Bobby that got him to stop in the end, not sure how he did it but I think bribery was involved so I’ve never asked for the full story.” Bobby is grinning from his spot opposite Buck and neither confirms or denies Buck’s suspicions.

“You don’t strike me as the type to get road rage, Evan.” Tommy sounds amused and there’s a clank or two on his end of the call.

“Yeah, well, it was a Tesla.”

“Oh, understandable then.” Tommy teases and Buck feels himself flush, something that’s becoming too much of a regular thing around Tommy and he sees Bobby raise his eyebrows. There's an alarm and Buck looks around on instinct but then he hears Tommy swear. “I gotta go but thanks for chatting, its been nice. Bye, Evan.”

“Bye, Tommy. Be safe.” He just manages to get the request in before Tommy hangs up.

“Tommy, huh?” Bobby is on him immediately and Buck nods reluctantly.

“Yeah, we’ve been talking since he helped us find you. He’s a nice guy.” Buck doesn’t make eye contact, instead he turns his phone over and over against the table.

“He is. I know him and Eddie have been hanging out too.”

“Yup, he flew him out to Vegas for some fight and everything. We just played basketball together.” It takes a lot to not pout and then grin when Buck recalls what happened later that night.

“Ah, Eddie’s ankle.” Buck finally looks up at Bobby, sure that guilt is plastered all over this face. “Accidents happen, Buck.” But Bobby looks like he’s trying not to laugh and Buck slumps in his chair.

“I really didn’t mean for that to happen, you know.” He sighs then perks up when he remembers he had something to ask. “Are you free Saturday night? I know its a little last minute but I forgot to ask on our last shift but I’m, ah, Tommy and I are going for dinner so I was hoping you’d watch Theo for me, if you’re not busy?”

“I’m always free for Theo.” Bobby smiles and Buck returns it. “Athena actually has plans so I’d love the company if Theo doesn’t mind a night together.”

“Of course he won’t, he loves spending time with you.” Buck is pretty sure Bobby knows this, Theo absolutely adores him and will even get grumpy if he hasn’t seen his Grandpa Bobby for more than a week so he’ll be over the moon to spend an evening with him.

“Well, I love it too. You and Tommy going anywhere nice?” Bobby’s smile has turned just slightly more towards teasing than sincere and his eyebrows are slowly climbing up his forehead.

“Just, just getting some Italian, nothing fancy. Hanging out and stuff.” Buck clenches his whole body so he doesn’t start squirming and give away that something’s up but he doesn’t quite want to confess to Bobby yet.

Bobby doesn’t ask anymore questions and instead gets Buck to help him start getting ready to hand over the shift and they work together until the others start to appear looking for coffee before they all go home. Buck slings his bag into the Jeep and races off to pick Theo up from school. His phone lights up halfway there and when he checks it as he waits at the school entrance its a message from Tommy. He swipes up to find a selfie of the alpha in his chopper, headset still on despite the helicopter being on the ground as far as Buck can tell. There’s another that’s the LA skyline from above, sun high and bright as it shines down onto the buildings far below.

Figured I owed you a picture or two after all the ones you’ve sent this week.

If you want any of the birds to show to Theo let me know, I’m here all day.

Thanks, its quite a view

The skyline is nice too

Buck snorts to himself as he feels his heartbeat quicken, he feels caught between pathetic and excited when he tries to flirt with Tommy and he already gets sweaty palms when he thinks about dinner on Saturday and its not even officially a date. He at least gets taken out of his thoughts when Theo comes crashing into his good leg already talking a mile a minute about his day. Buck snaps a selfie of them together in the car, quickly sends it off to Tommy without thinking too hard about it before he tells Theo that he’s going to Grandpa Bobby’s that weekend. A loud cheer rings around the car and Buck laughs, a giddiness that he hasn’t felt in quite a well frothing up in his chest as they head home.

———

The apartment is quiet without Theo around. Even when the kid is curled up reading a book or watching a movie or doing something else that isn’t running like a madman through various rooms the place feels louder, fuller. Without him its just a little duller and Buck feels just a little emptier. Maybe he’s being dramatic but Theo has been his everything, his number one, since before he was born. He’d also have loved the distraction of his son whilst he was getting ready and waiting for Tommy to come and pick him up. He feels like he needs to go to the toilet but every time Buck has gone in there nothing has happened and his stomach feels like its tying itself into a knot and he feels so sweaty he might have to change his shirt soon.

He’s pretty sure he knows what Tommy is going to say, that he at least would like to meet Theo and Buck is hopeful that he wants to have regular contact with their son but he’s trying not to get his hopes up but Tommy is so good and its been so nice talking to him this week. Its easy in a way that it rarely is for Buck, he says the wrong thing or he talks too much or he gets too weird but Tommy has matched him every time. Eddie had talked about finding someone who you just clicked with and Buck gets it and a small part of him is furious that Eddie seemingly feels the same way about Tommy. Except its not completely the same way because Eddie is only interested in women and usually only betas but that small part of Buck wants to snap and growl and tell Eddie that he doesn’t get it but he’d kept his mouth shut and now he’s waiting for Tommy to pick him up and take him on their not date.

A knock at the door sends Buck leaping from his chair to race to the door. He yanks it open and Tommy is standing there looking like a dream. He’s in a black shirt and jeans and Buck is happy to see that he looks like he’s put in a bit more effort than dinner with a friend would require.

“Hey, I got a spot right outside but the parking here is awful.”

“Hey.” Buck licks his lips quickly because every part of him is screaming for another kiss but he holds himself back and satisfies himself with a hug instead. And if he presses his nose into Tommy’s collar and has a sniff then Tommy at least doesn’t mention it. “Yeah, its pretty bad. We should take my car so you don’t lose your spot.”

“So, is Theo spending the night somewhere else?” Tommy asks as they head down.

“Yeah, Bobby is babysitting him. I actually think he couldn’t wait to get away from me earlier, kept asking when Bobby would get here to pick him up, I tried not to take offence.” Tommy laughs and Buck finds himself swaying towards him and their arms brush together making his breath hitch.

“I’d be eager for a meal from Bobby Nash too.”

“Hey, Bobby has taught me everything I know, Theo should love my cooking!” Buck glances at Tommy to see him smiling, nose scrunching up and making Buck’s heart leap.

“But food from your grandparent? Its unmatched. I dream about my Nonna’s spaghetti even now.” Tommy’s expression turns dreamy before he shakes it off and Buck bites back the confession that he never knew his grandparents.

Tommy opens Buck’s car door for him before he walks around to the passenger side and Buck stands there and blinks for a moment before he slowly gets in. Nobody usually opens his door for him. He’s never been that kind of omega who gets doors opened for him and he’s never really cared until now. Now he’s blushing and biting his lip as he pulls out onto the road. They chat aimlessly in the car, Tommy giving him directions and Buck has to circle a few times before he finds a spot but then they’re heading into Micelli’s, Tommy’s hand brushing Buck’s lower back as he guides him in.

He’s never been the swooning type either but Tommy is really shaking things up for him. Maybe its the way Buck looks, tall and now he’s broad too and it shouldn’t matter but people often do a double take when they realise he’s an omega. Buck has never really cared but this is a nice change. So he lets Tommy take charge with the waiter and pull out his chair for him and order a starter and beer for them. Their pizza comes when Buck is in the middle of a story about a phase Theo went through as a toddler.

“I have no idea what movies Chim was showing him but I swear he learnt how to do comedy spit takes from them because he started doing them. All. The. Time. And it was so funny! It kept making me laugh so he kept doing it and everything was soaking wet after every meal, including me and Theo, and I couldn’t trust him with a drink for over a week, I never knew when it was coming.” Tommy is laughing and something is fluttering in Buck’s chest. “Seriously, he looked so proud every time and its like he was having a competition with himself to see how far he could spray it. He was so cute, he’d cover me in water then giggle about it and I couldn’t be mad at him. Chim got his comeuppance though, Theo got him in the middle of a restaurant one day and in front of Maddie, this was before they were together together.” Buck waves away that last thought with a lazy hand and shifts in his seat, suddenly aware that yet again he’d been rambling about his, their, kid.

“He sounds like a hoot.” Tommy says and Buck smirks at Tommy’s deadpan expression.

“You’d like him.” He says on autopilot then bites his lip and looks down at his plate. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Evan.” Tommy is serious now and he picks up his napkin, twisting it between his fingers as he straightens in his seat. “I, I’d like to meet him. As soon as what you’d told me had sunk in I knew I wanted to meet my, our, son. I. I didn’t think I’d ever get to have kids, just wasn’t working out for me so just getting to meet him would be incredible but if, if you’d let me have, do more. I’d really appreciate it.”

“Tommy.” Buck gapes at him, mouth hinging open as he looks at the alpha opposite him. “He’s your son, of course you can have more than one meeting. I know- we don’t really know each other yet, not really. And, and that’s something we can work on but I don’t want to keep you away from Theo for a minute longer if that’s what you want. I, you, just be sure that you’ll stay? I don’t want you to break his heart.” Or mine, he doesn’t add because he really shouldn’t be falling for Tommy when he hardly knows him and all he has is a couple meetings and one hot night in Peru to go off. “Theo, he, I think he wants to know you and, and I’m lucky that its even an option for us but I’d rather him never know than have him find you then lose you all at once.” 

Maybe its a little intense but Buck is serious about this. He’s been left far too many times before and he doesn’t want Theo to ever experience that sort of pain, especially not this young. He watches Tommy’s face, how micro expressions flicker over his features until they settle into something serious and sincere but also a little blank.

“I won’t lie, I do have a history of running away when something seems too good to be true or if I think its going to end in me getting hurt but I can promise you. I promise, Evan. I won’t walk away from him, only if he asked me to go and even then I’d be asking you to give me updates. Now that I know about him, all the things you’ve told me and the pictures you’ve sent, I know I don’t know him but he’s my son, he’s my child and I hate that I’ve missed so much of him already and I hope he can forgive me.” Buck winces because if anybody is going to be asking for Theo’s forgiveness its him. “I have no idea how to be a parent but I want to try and if I’m doing a shit job I expect you to tell me. Don’t hold back.” Tommy gives him a wry grin and Buck gives him a shy smile in return.

“Alright.” He says softly. He lets his eyes drag over Tommy and Buck smiles wider. “I do have a good feeling though. Theo, kids in general I guess, are a lot sometimes but he’s worth everything. To me at least. I think, I think we’re just going to have to trust each other right now. I’m going to believe you that you won’t hurt him but Tommy, if I ever get even an inkling that you will? Well, you’ve met Athena Grant before, right?”

Tommy nods, swallows, then nods again.

“Not that you need it but you have full permission to toss my body out to sea if necessary.” Buck snorts. “When, ah when do you think I’d be able to meet him. I just, there’s this itch under my skin and its like my body is just telling me to find him, I don’t, I can’t explain it really.”

“Biology.” Buck gripes. “You probably got Theo’s scent when you stopped by my apartment and now your brain and body are caught up you’re wanting to protect him or whatever outdated values they pin on alphas it is, you know? Even with suppressants, I still get twitchy at a certain point in my cycle if I don’t scent Theo everyday or if I don’t know where he is. If they weren’t so professional I’d say his daycare and school hate me. If you give me your shifts this week I can find a time that works? I think we can ease him into it maybe?”

“Sure. I’ll send them over later?” Tommy is still crinkling up his napkin but Buck gets it, his own knee hasn’t stopped bouncing this entire time.

“Great! I- Well, erm, what now? I know this was sort of a serious talk dinner but now that the serious talk has been dealt with and semi shelved for later, what would you like to do? Theo is staying over at Bobby’s so I’m yours all night.” Buck immediately wants to cringe once the words have left his mouth but he can’t suck them back up so he just sort of sits there, frozen, as Tommy blinks at him.

“We could catch a movie? There’s this independent theater a couple blocks away they might have something good on. We could walk over and check it out?” Tommy is smirking slightly and he accepts the bill from the waitress before Buck can even attempt to take it.

“So dinner and a movie, huh?” This might not be a date but its sure sounding like one to Buck.

“Or we could get that beer? And we can talk, get to know each other a bit better. Unless you want to get back home, someone waiting for you?” Its a probing question and Buck is pretty sure Tommy knows he’s single but he scrambles to answer.

“No someone. Just me. And Theo. But I could do a beer or, or I have coffee. At home.” He stumbles through an answer and once again wants to cringe as he finishes talking.

Tommy is opening his mouth to reply when a voice cuts through the noise of the restaurant and Buck turns in his seat to find Eddie standing there, his current girlfriend, Marisol, on his arm. Buck stares up at him as Eddie jabbers on about who knows what and it hits him that he hasn’t told Eddie any of this, he hasn’t mentioned a single thing to his best friend about just who Tommy is and guilt starts to creep up his throat to choke him. Eddie asks something and looks at Buck, expectant but Buck remains silent, unhearing. Tommy cracks out a remark behind him and Buck gives a weak nod. He opens his mouth, probably about to blurt out just what is going on, when he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. He yanks it out and finds Bobby’s name lighting up his screen.

“Sorry, I gotta take this.” He says before immediately answering the call, turning away from Eddie and catching Tommy’s concerned frown. “Hey, Bobby. Everything okay?”

“It will be but Theo and I are at the emergency room right now.” Buck shoots up from his chair, Eddie recoils and Tommy stands too. “He’s broken his arm, tried to climb that tree out back.”

“How many times have I told him?!” Buck’s heart is racing and he runs a hand through his hair before pulling on it. “I’m coming, I’ll be there as soon as I can be. How’s Theo?”

“Well, he’s not going to try and climb it again. I actually think he’s quite excited to get an x-ray. It hurts.” And Buck’s stomach plummets at the thought of his baby in pain. “But they’re looking after him, Buck. He’s gonna be okay, broken bones heal.”

“Yeah, yeah. Can you put him on? I just need to hear him.” Buck feels a line of heat just behind him and knows Tommy has moved around the table to hover there when he feels a hand brush the small of his back. Buck resists the urge to reach around and snatch it up. For now the smell of chocolate and whiskey will have to do.

“Daddy? Are you coming?” Theo’s voice is in his ear now, still as bright and enthusiastic as ever.

“Of course I am, baby. How are you doing? Do you want me to stay on the phone?” Without realising Buck starts to head for the exit of the restaurant, Eddie and Tommy on his heels.

“No its okay, Grandpa Bobby is here. We’re reading about x-rays! Grandpa says I get to pick the colour of my cast and I’m gonna pick blue.” Buck comes to an abrupt halt and Tommy collides with him, a large hand shooting out to wrap around Buck to keep him upright.

“Sorry.” The alpha murmurs and without thinking Buck’s hand lands on top of his for a brief moment. The sight of them both resting on his stomach making him swallow and his vision blur.

“Alright, Theo. I’m coming okay, I’m heading for my car right now. I’ll be there as quick as I can be and if you need to call me you call me, alright?”

“Okay, Daddy. See you!” And Theo hangs up on him.

Buck pulls his phone away from his ear and stares down at it. Then a throat clears behind him and Tommy drops his hand from his stomach and Buck spins to face both Tommy and Eddie. Both of them are looking at him with open concern, Marisol a few feet back also frowning and watching them all.

“Theo’s broken his arm, Bobby’s taken him to the hospital so I’m gonna meet them there.” Buck feels tears welling up and he wants to smack himself because this isn’t even the first time Theo has been to the hospital, he’d had an awful ear infection last year. 

Buck had been inconsolable whenever he wasn’t looking after Theo. He’d let Bobby hug him and immediately started crying and Maddie had had to put him to bed at one point like he was still Theo’s age. Buck had kept it together in front of Theo though, adhering to all the medical advice he’d been given and Theo had made it out the other side just fine.

“Tommy, I’m sorry. I gotta go.” He says as he turns his teary gaze to Tommy and the alpha steps forward.

“I can drive you there if you want? I know we came in your car but it might be better for me to drive.” Tommy’s sweet concern for him and Theo could be enough to send the tears over the edge but Buck blinks them back and nods.

“That- that would be great, thank you.” He reaches out and squeezes Tommy’s wrist.

“He’ll be okay, Buck. Kids bounce back quick.” Eddie claps a hand over his shoulder then retreats back to Marisol. “Keep me updated though.”

“I will. Enjoy your date.” Buck uses his grip on Tommy to tug him towards the door.

“Bye Eddie.” Tommy calls then hurries out with Buck.

“Tommy, you don’t have to-“

“Evan, it’s fine. I promise I don’t mind. If I could fly you there right now I would.”

Buck looks at Tommy, sees the worried frown marring his handsome face and he can feel his heart in his throat because Tommy doesn’t have to be doing this for him, for them. He could’ve said bye, let Buck leave and just asked for an update but instead he’s opening Buck’s passenger door for him before heading round to the driver’s side of the Jeep. Buck can smell how the scent of distress swirls around him and he focuses on his phone in his hands to try and gather his control.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’d be a danger on the roads right now.” He mutters.

“Its really no problem. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it. What happened?”

“There’s this tree at Bobby and Athena’s that he’s always wanted to climb but I’ve told him over and over that he’s not old enough yet, that he could get hurt if he tried it but seems like he was just biding his time until I wasn’t around.” Buck huffs, a spike of irritation flaring up before it settles again and worry washes back over him.

“Is he a big tree climber?” Tommy asks and Buck snorts.

“Hardly. He just likes getting into hard to reach spots, finds it fun. Nearly sent me into cardiac arrest a few times when I’ve looked around only to find him shimmying up something. I’m very wary of our balcony.” Buck is only half joking about that, he watches Theo like a hawk whenever they’re out there but Theo at least seems to recognise that there’s real danger in him being a daredevil out there. “Sometimes I wish we had a garden so that it was easier for him to burn off all that energy but I was lucky just finding our current place.” Buck is aware that he’s rambling but he can’t stop, his phone still being turned over and over in his hands. “Theo doesn’t like elevators so we take the stairs a lot. And I love him more than anything but trying to go upstairs takes so long sometimes and he’s starting to not want me to carry him anymore, which I hate.”

“How come he doesn’t like elevators?” Tommy half turns towards him, eyes still on the road but his chin tilted towards Buck.

“I’m really not sure. Its not a heights thing and he liked the coasters just fine when we went to a theme park. He likes engines and things, mechanical stuff too, so I really don’t know but it started when he was about two and he’s not grown out of it yet so yeah, lots of stairs in your future if you live in an apartment.” Buck grimaces and watches Tommy out of the corner of his eye when he hears the alpha chuckle.

“I have a house, one floor, so that won’t be an issue.” He pauses for a second. “You’d let him come to my place?” Buck freezes for a second then finally drops his phone into his lap.

“Well, yeah, at some point, of course I would. I’d, I’d be there too. At least for a while but yeah, eventually why wouldn’t I? You’re his dad too and if you really wanna do this parent thing then yeah, Theo could stay at yours. If he wants to.” Why does he feel nervous? “Is that crazy? Am I being too weird or trusting to say that?”

“I feel like I should say no because I want to spend all the time I can with him if he wants to but I’ll be honest and say I’m not sure? I’ve never really done this so I don’t think I’m the right person to ask.” Tommy shrugs and Buck finds himself biting back a laugh.

“Well, at least you’re honest.” He does smile then and so does Tommy.

Pretty soon they’re pulling into the hospital parking lot and heading up to join Theo and Bobby, who had text Buck a few minutes ago. Buck hadn’t asked but when they’d pulled up Tommy had jumped out of the car too then taken half a step before stopping and looking at Buck. Buck had nodded, said it was fine for Tommy to come up, he could always duck out before they got there if he wanted to. When they find the room Theo and Bobby are waiting in, Tommy stumbles to a stop and hesitates a foot away from the door but Buck charges straight in.

“Theo!” The little boy turns from where he’d been reading something on Bobby’s phone to look up at Buck.

“Daddy!” He cries and lets himself be scooped up into Buck’s arms.

Buck squeezes him tightly, avoiding his bad arm that’s wrapped in a bright blue cast. He brushes his wrist over Theo’s hair and cheeks, practically drowning the poor kid in his scent but Theo doesn’t seem to mind, just snuggles closer. Bobby has stood up and he reaches out to squeeze Buck’s shoulder, his other hand patting Theo’s back. He tries to apologise but Buck shrugs it off because its not Bobby’s fault, Theo is rather accident prone. Buck sways them back and forth a couple of times before he place Theo back on the ground, kneeling so that he can frantically check over the rest of him for any injuries that the hospital staff may have somehow missed and to make better eye contact with him.

“You doing okay, T? You only hurt your arm? Nothing else? You can tell me.” Buck brushes Theo’s hair back off his forehead.

“I’m fine, promise. I cut my hands and my knee but I have a band aid.” Theo waves his hand and leg to show Buck. “They’re not as good as ours, they don’t have Bluey on em.”

“No? Well next time you need one you can have a Bluey one.” Buck would hope that it won’t be for a while but with Theo who knows. “Now, what did I tell you about climbing that tree in Bobby and Athena’s yard?” Buck has to dig deep and find his stern parenting voice for this next part.

“To not do it.” Theo avoids eye contact with him, suddenly very interested in his shoes.

“So what did you do as soon as I wasn't around?” Bobby makes a noise between a cough and a snort behind them and Buck knows that if he asked Bobby would have a comment about how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to impulse control.

"Climb it.” Theo at least looks ashamed, bottom lip coming out to pout up at Buck.

“Did you apologise to your gramps for making him worry?” Buck does his best to not let his expression soften.

“Yes! He said it was okay and that he was glad I was gonna be okay.” Buck looks over his shoulder at Bobby who confirms with a nod of his head that this had happened.

“Well, what did you learn?” Buck brushes gentle fingers through Theo’s hair again before he runs a comforting thumb over a small scratch down Theo’s cheek.

“To listen to you about what trees to climb, daddy.” Buck snorts and Theo grins up at him. “I’m sorry.” His little boy leans closer and tucks his head under Buck’s chin and Buck holds him tight.

“Its alright, T. I just worry about you but that’s my job. How about you make it up to me by letting me be the first person to sign your cast?” Buck’s cheek is pressed against the crown of Theo’s head and he places a quick kiss there when he eventually moves to look down at his son.

“Okay! I got blue, look.” Theo waves his arm before he winces and clings onto Buck as if he’ll take all his pain away. Buck wishes he could.

“I see it, bud. I love blue. Does it hurt, baby?” Theo nods and Buck runs a soothing hand up and down his back. “We’ll get you home soon, alright?”

Buck stands up and lets Theo hug his leg as he turns to Bobby. Tommy is still hovering near the door, eyes glued to their son but he hasn’t quite passed the threshold yet. Buck leaves his hand on top of Theo’s head to let him know he’s not going anywhere.

“Thanks again for getting here so fast and letting me know.” Bobby squeezes his arm before stepping back and grimacing.

“I’m sorry it happened, I should’ve been watching him closer.”

“No, don’t. Its fine, he’s gonna be okay and honestly I’m surprised its taken this long for him to break something. He’s always getting into scrapes, aren’t you?” Buck keeps his voice light and anger free as he looks down at Theo, who is looking back at him with a grin.

“I wonder where he gets that from.” One corner of Bobby’s mouth lifts in a half smile, then he turns to glance at Tommy. “I’m sorry we cut your evening short.” His eyes flick back to Buck but then immediately land back on Tommy, who is unaware of the attention as he’s still gazing down at Theo, swallowing hard and blinking rapidly.

“Its, ah, its alright. We were just, hanging out, like I said before.” Buck says with a slight wince and ducks his head.

Bobby give him a long look but lets Buck get away with it once again when he simply claps his hand over Buck’s shoulder. He knows, Buck knows he knows, but he can’t say anything right now, not with Theo right there pressed against his leg.

“Well, now that your dad is here I’ll get back home. Athena might need a lift back from her evening out.” Bobby bends down to give Theo a hug. “Tommy, good to see you again. Thanks for getting Buck here so fast.” He squeezes Tommy’s elbow as he passes and Tommy jumps, head whipping around to look at Bobby.

“Oh, er, no, no problem.” He looks startled as he makes eye contact with Bobby, who raises his eyebrows then leaves.

Tommy opens his mouth again when he turns back towards Buck and Theo, he’s still hovering there by the door and Buck doesn’t really know what to do either so they just stare at each other for a moment before Theo makes the choice for them.

“Who are you?” He asks from his spot against Buck’s leg.

His hand is curled into Buck’s pants but he’s peeled himself away from Buck’s limb and has taken half a step forward. Bright blue curious eyes now locked on Tommy.

“I’m Tommy.” Tommy takes his own step forward over the threshold before he stutters to a stop. “Erm,” he looks at Evan, who shrugs then makes a little waving gesture to let Tommy know that he’s welcome. “Nice to meet you, Theo.”

"How do you know my name?” Theo lets go of Buck and takes another step forward and Buck thinks he should maybe have the stranger danger conversation again because if all it takes is someone knowing his name to have Theo interested then they might be in trouble.

“Your dad has told me a lot about you.” Tommy smiles and squats down sticking out his hand for Theo to take.

Theo giggles and shuffles forward. “Nice to meet you too.” He seems to have remembered his manners at least and places his small hand in Tommy’s and Buck’s heart flutters.

Tommy gives Theo’s hand a little shake and squeezes it and it looks like he’s about to let go when Theo takes another step forward. Tommy’s eyes widen but he doesn’t let go, stays right where he is and lets Theo come as close as he wants until Theo drops his hand and they’re chest to chest. Buck’s heart is pounding. Their son takes a large sniff with all the grace of a small child and he cocks his head to the side as he looks at Tommy.

“You smell like me.” He says and Tommy blinks then takes his own little inhale.

“Maybe you smell like me.” He retorts and Theo grins like he just got all the confirmation he needed.

“Did my daddy find you then?” Theo sways even closer to Tommy and Buck lurches forward but Tommy puts one of his big hands on Theo’s back and steadies him.

“Yeah, yeah I think he did, kid.” Tommy’s voice wobbles a little and then Theo has his arms wrapped around Tommy’s neck and is clinging onto him as much as he can with a cast on. 

Buck doesn’t need to see to know that Theo must have a tight grip on Tommy’s shirt collar, his fingers intertwined with the fabric. He watches as Tommy’s entire body folds around their kid, cocooning Theo easily and the alpha turns his face into Theo’s curls. Buck walks over to them, kneels down so that he can squeeze Theo’s waist and let him know he’s right there and then he brushes a soft thumb over Tommy’s cheek too, just like he had with Theo before. Buck can’t even imagine how the other man is feeling right now so he lets them stay like that for as long as they need.

Eventually a nurse pops into the room and father and son part but Theo clings onto Tommy’s shirt. Buck deals with the discharge papers as he eyes the other two but they’re just looking at each other, soaking in the other’s presence. Theo is usually quite the chatterbox so its odd to see him so quiet but he’s just gazing up at Tommy in wonder. Tommy is staring back and he opens his mouth once then twice but he doesn’t say anything. Buck hands the papers back and soon they’re good to go.

“Hey, we can head out.” Buck says softly, laying a gentle hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “I can drive Theo and I home if you want to go straight back to yours.”

“No!” Its Theo that speaks first out of the two of them. “No, he has to come with us. He, he-“ Theo steps closer to Tommy, hand still tangled in Tommy’s shirt. “You’ll come with us, right? I, I want to show you my room. Its really cool.”

Tommy swallows and looks up at Buck, who feels a little wrong footed. He’s really not sure what they’re supposed to do here and this probably wasn’t the best time for Theo to find out but they’re here now so they have to adapt. And honestly Buck isn’t even really sure if Theo fully knows what’s going on but instincts and biology are weird and he knows that Tommy smells right to Theo, he must. Babies can pick their parents out by scent alone, its not something you lose really you just learn how to find them through sight, sound and communication until you forget you know their scent instinctively too.

“I don’t mind driving you home.” Tommy says eventually, slowly, like he’s giving Buck time to object.

“That would be nice. Thank you.” As if Buck wasn’t going to agree to having more time with Tommy and Theo together.

“Tommy, will you sign my cast for me?” Theo pipes up.

“Sure, kid. But maybe when its not hurting so much, I wouldn’t want to make it worse. And you did promise your dad that he could go first.”

“Oh yeah. Are we going now? I wanna go home.” Theo turns to look at Buck and half lifts his arm.

Buck nods and bends down to lift Theo up onto his hip. Theo claims he’s getting too old for this, squirms away half the time Buck tries to pick him up now but tonight he easily lets go of Tommy’s shirt and settles against Buck. His nose tucked against Buck’s neck and Buck feels him take a large inhale then relax into him. Buck presses a kiss to his head then looks at Tommy.

“Lets go then.” Tommy is watching them, eyes darting between Buck and Theo like he’s trying to catalogue every similarity and difference then he turns and starts to walk out of the room at Buck’s words.

Buck gets into the back of the Jeep with Theo so that he can stay close and Tommy easily navigates LA traffic to get them back to their apartment in record time. Buck carries Theo to the elevator, the kid is too tired to protest right now, and then down the corridor as Tommy follows him, holding everything else that had been in the car. It feels like they’re a family and Buck has to stamp down on the thought because its dangerous. They’re not a family right now, not like that anyway even though it would be so easy to just wave his hand and that be it, this is the real world and as easy and as nice as this feels its not real right now. As soon as they’re through the door Theo wriggles until Buck puts him down and then he’s back in front of Tommy, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

“Its this way. Come on.” He tries pulling Tommy towards his room then quickly gives up when its clear he won’t be able to move Tommy so instead he pouts up at him and Tommy starts shuffling along immediately. “I wanna paint it blue but daddy says we have to wait a couple weeks to see if I still want it blue but I will! I want it to look like the ocean or it could be the sky too. I wanted red before because it was like the firetrucks daddy drives but he said red might hurt my eyes.” In true Buckley fashion Theo has started to talk and talk, finally finding his voice again and a second wind too. “What do you do for your job?” Buck is only a few steps behind the two of them so he catches the dubious look Theo sends Tommy and can’t help but snort at how his baby is about two seconds away from having his mind blown.

“Oh, erm, I’m a firefighter too.”

“Really?” Theo asks over his shoulder, managing to sound skeptical despite being five, and Tommy nods.

“Yeah, I don’t do a lot of ground work like your dad though. I’m a firefighter pilot so I fly helicopters a lot rather than fighting fires. Sometimes planes but mostly helicopters.”

Theo stops dead and Tommy nearly walks into him.

“You, you fly?” Theo turns almost comically slowly, eyes bugging out as he stares up at Tommy in wonder. He peers around Tommy to look at Buck, a gleam appearing in his eye that wasn’t there a moment ago. “You found a pilot, daddy?”

Buck snorts and Tommy huffs out a laugh too.

“I, ah, I can give you a tour of my station sometime, if you want?” Tommy offers, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck and Theo almost jumps for joy.

“Yes! Tomorrow? Its Sunday, I’m free!”

“Maybe when your arm is better, T.” Buck jumps in so that Tommy doesn’t have to let the poor kid down.

“Fine.” Theo deflates for a moment before he remembers what he was doing and continues to drag Tommy towards his bedroom.

Theo bursts over the threshold of his room and immediately darts for his teddy bear, introducing him to Tommy then letting Tommy have the honour of holding him as Theo moves around his room. Buck watches from the door as Tommy nods and listens and asks questions as Theo rambles on and on. Tommy is clutching the bear tightly under one arm as he gets loaded up with more and more toys that Theo hands over. Buck knows he should jump in, its way past Theo’s bedtime but he feels like he owes it to them both to let them have a little time together. Theo keeps gazing up at Tommy in amazement and taking the occasional, what he thinks is subtle, sniff too. Buck is going to have to explain this to him tomorrow just so he knows that Theo knows whats going on but its going more smoothly than he worried it might.

“Can we read this? Are you good at bedtime stories? I like bedtime stories!” Theo is holding a book up to Tommy and Buck takes that as his cue.

“Hey, bud. Its getting real late and Tommy has to go home, alright? I’m sure he can read that to you another time.” Buck gives Tommy a look and the alpha quickly nods.

“Yeah, course I can read it to you. My nieces say I do the voices really well.” And that makes Buck’s heart melt just a bit because now he’s picturing Tommy curled up in Buck’s nest with Theo tucked in next to him and the two of them reading together.

“Do you have to go?” Theo whines and Buck can hear the overtiredness creeping in.

“Erm, yes. I’m sorry, Theo.” Tommy looks and sounds apologetic as he nods once.

“You'll see Tommy again really soon, don’t worry.” Buck swoops in to handle the situation.

“Tomorrow? Why can’t he stay with us?” Theo pouts, dropping the book he was holding. “Daddy you found him and now you won’t let him stay!”

“Hey, hey. Listen, you’re tired baby, no don’t argue with me. You’ve hurt your arm and you need to sleep to help make it feel better and Tommy has a shift tomorrow, he has to go and fly the helicopters and planes to help people.” Buck kneels down to pick the book up and slide it back onto the shelf behind Theo. “Tommy needs to have a big sleep so he's ready for work, just like when you need one for school. How about you have a sleepover in my nest with me and tomorrow Tommy and I can sort out when you can see him again, okay?”

“Tommy could sleep in your nest too, its big enough.” Theo is still pouting but he’s quieter now, already admitting defeat.

Tommy lets out a strangled cough behind them and Buck knows he’s blushing as he takes hold of Theo’s arm.

“Hey, Theo. I’m not going to disappear. I promise that you can see me this week if you want to. And you can always call me if your dad is okay with that, I don’t mind.” Tommy pipes up once he’s recovered from his little coughing fit and Buck feels his shoulders relax.

“Really? You won’t get lost again? Cause my daddy just found you and it took ages and I wanna see the helicopters and I wanna read my book with you.” Theo is tugging on his shirt, not quite looking at Tommy and Buck feels the sting of tears and has to look away and pinch his thigh to stop himself from crying.

“I won’t get lost again, Theo.” Tommy says softly, gently putting down all the items in his hands and holding out the bear to Theo. “You want this guy back?”

Theo hesitates, then looks to Buck then back to Tommy then down at the teddy. He shuffles his feet then leans into Buck and looks back up at Tommy. He presses his small body against Buck’s, who automatically wraps him in his arms and watches him carefully.

“Could,” Theo starts and he looks nervous. “Could you scent him? Daddy does that for me sometimes.” 

Tommy looks startled and he immediately looks to Buck. He’s also taken aback though, its a bold request and Theo has only known Tommy for an hour or two, maybe three at a push. Another deep ache settles in Buck’s chest when he realises just how much Theo had been silently yearning for this. Even if its only a recent development Buck feels like he’s failed some kind of test because Theo hadn’t even come to him about it. Buck opens his mouth, then closes it, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Are you sure, kid?” Tommy sounds choked up but Buck can’t look at him right now.

“Yeah. You- You are my other daddy, aren’t you? You smell like it but-“ Theo tugs at Buck’s shirt now. “Daddy?”

Buck opens his eyes to look directly at his son, into those blue eyes that Tommy gave him, then he lets his gaze drift up to Tommy, who is knelt down now. Theo’s teddy still held in his hands but he looks less startled, more settled and he nods at Buck, eyebrows raising slightly and head tipped to the side. A question and an answer all rolled into one or two movements. Movements that Buck seems to understand already.

“Yes, Theo. Tommy is your other dad.” He watches Theo nod to himself, satisfied at his powers of deduction.

“Then yes please. If that’s okay.” Theo turns in Buck’s arms to smile up at Tommy, expression innocent and hopeful.

“Okay.” Is all Tommy says and then throughly scents the teddy for Theo before holding it out.

Theo snatches it up, then tumbles forward and tucks himself in against Tommy once more. Tommy looks to Buck as he carefully brings his arms around their son and Buck feels a wave of simultaneous wistfulness and fondness crash over him. Buck knows he could so easily fall in love with Tommy. He finds himself hoping that he’ll have the chance. Theo says goodbye to Tommy with great reluctance and goes to brush his teeth because Buck knows he can do that one handed and tells him to wait until Buck is back before he tries to get his pyjamas on. Buck walks Tommy back to the front door and turns to look at him, a slightly spooked expression has fallen over the alpha’s face.

“So, that’s not how I thought our evening would go.” Tommy says lowly and Buck bites back a laugh.

“I'm sorry. I didn’t really think any of it through and then it was all just happening. I know we were going to come up with a plan to tell him but we didn’t really account for biology.”

“Seems to be a trending pattern for us.” Tommy deadpans, a nervous hand coming up to the back of his neck again.

“Perhaps. Are you okay? We’re kind of a lot, us Buckleys.” Buck keep this voice low too, not wanting Theo to overhear anything because if he knows his son then he’ll be just out of sight around the corner instead of waiting in his room.

“You’re not.” Tommy says quickly, then shrugs. “I mean like I said, this isn’t what I thought would be happening tonight. I thought I’d tell you that I wanted to meet him and be there however you wanted me to be and then we’d figure it out. But.” He trails off and Buck swallows.

“But here we are.” He finishes and guilt roils around in his stomach because he can’t do anything right, nothing ever works out like he wants or plans it to.

“I meant what I said though, if Theo wants to call or something that’s fine. And-“ Tommy’s voice gets firmer, slightly louder, “and I’m not going anywhere. I do want to do this, be a part of Theo’s life. I’m really happy I even have the chance. He’s kind of amazing.” Tommy sighs.

“I know.” Buck’s voice is almost a whisper and the guilt is now burning his throat because Tommy is so grateful but its Buck’s fault they’re even here.

“I do have a shift tomorrow so I should probably head out. But let me know if you want to meet up this week. I, I can have all my helicopter facts ready at any time, just let me know.” Tommy moves forward slowly to give Buck plenty of time to move away but he doesn’t and Tommy gathers him up in a hug.

Buck lets his nose rest against Tommy’s shirt collar and his scent washes over him. Chocolate and whiskey. He smells right. Buck knows its some deeply buried, outdated instinct telling him that because he’s had a child with Tommy but he finds himself yearning anyway. Tommy’s arms feel nice and sturdy too and his body is a solid line against Buck’s. He doesn’t really care if its instincts because in this moment Buck wants nothing more than to beg Tommy to stay, to lead him back towards his nest, lay down in front of him and open his legs. Its the slightly wet feeling of slick starting to gather in his underwear that forces Buck to pull away.

“How about coffee? This week. After school one day maybe, in the afternoon? Send me your shift schedule, I’ll compare.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and Tommy nods then finally heads home, closing the door gently behind him.

Buck locks it then heads back to Theo’s room, ignoring the pitter patter of small feet running ahead of him and pretending like he believes Theo has been in his room the whole time.

“Daddy? Why do you smell sad?” Theo asks once Buck has gotten him ready for bed.

“Hm? I’m just worried about you, about your arm.” Buck lifts Theo up and carries him across the hall to his own room, setting him down onto his bed and letting the kid scramble under the covers as best he can with one arm out of commission.

“Its not the same.” Theo says quietly.

“Its complicated, buddy.” Buck sighs, picking out a t shirt and shorts to throw on.

“Why?” Theo covers his head with the covers and Buck uses the opportunity to get changed.

“Its hard to explain but I am a little sad that you got hurt. And that it took so long for me to find Tommy. Your, your dad. I hope you’re not upset but if you are that’s okay too.” Buck sits down on the bed and Theo’s head pops back up.

He yawns.

“I’m not mad, daddy. I’m happy. We can look after my other daddy now. You said,” he yawns again. “You said good, good things take time.” The last part is said through another yawn and Buck decides not to point out that that particular life lesson had been about how long lasagna takes to cook. “I like him. ’S nice. Helicopters.” 

Theo is fading fast and Buck watches as he snuggles up under the sheets, face pressed into his teddy bear’s fur, tiny fist clutching the quilt. Buck watches his son for a little longer, features soft and innocent, relaxed with sleep. His hair is dark, the same shade as Tommy’s. He has Buck’s chubby cheeks, which always make him look much sweeter than he sometimes is. Theo grumbles in his sleep and his hold on his bear tightens. Buck finds himself leaning forward to take his own sharp inhale of Tommy’s lingering scent.

He really hopes that this wasn’t the wrong choice. He considers praying to someone or something he’s not entirely sure he believes in just to have a higher chance of this working out because Theo deserves it. He deserves all the love in the world and Buck wants Tommy to be another person that loves Theo so much. He could be. Theo is the best thing that’s ever happened to Buck and he hopes that it’ll be the same for Tommy. His heart clenches as guilt takes hold again, its become bothersome now that Buck can name that feeling because it keeps rearing its head whenever he thinks about the years Theo and Tommy have spent apart. Buck at least knows that Theo has been loved so much in that time, Buck has done everything he can for him, Theo knows he’s loved and wanted and appreciated. And its not like Buck hasn’t benefited from Theo’s love either, its a wonderful thing, to be a parent and to have a child as loving and as kind as Theo. Buck just hopes Tommy has at least had that feeling in some shape or form in all those years too.

Chapter Text

Predictably the next morning Theo wants to call Tommy as soon as he opens his eyes. Buck sits up, vision still a little blurry, and gathers Theo into his lap. Soft sheets are pooled around them, Theo’s teddy tucked between them and Buck eyes the tag of material at the bottom end of his bed that holds Bobby’s scent but ultimately leaves it where it is. He can do this by himself.

“Yesterday was a pretty big day for you, huh?” Buck nuzzles against the top of Theo’s head carefully.

“Uh huh. Can we call Tommy now?” Theo isn’t letting up and Buck sighs to himself.

“Can we have a little talk first, bud? I want to make sure you’re doing okay.”

“My arm only hurts a little bit, daddy.” Theo pulls back enough to look up at Buck with a serious expression on his face. “I promise.”

“Well, that’s good, baby. But that’s not what I want to talk about. Not yet anyway.” Buck finds himself holding Theo tighter. “I know yesterday was,” Buck pauses to find the right word and settles on “exciting, for you. And you said you were happy about it last night.”

“I am.” Theo interrupts, shifting to sit up straighter. “I am, daddy. Are you not happy?”

“No, no, I am happy, T. I am. I just, I don’t want you to get too excited and be disappointed. Tommy is really nice and I know he’s cool with the flying and things like that and you want to know more about that, him. And I’m sure Tommy will be okay with that but we’re gonna have to be slow about this, alright?”

“Why?” Theo blinks those big blue eyes up at him and Buck sighs again.

“Tommy, your dad, well you know that you’ve lived with me your whole life? That I’ve always been here for you and you’ve always known that I’m here?” Theo nods. “Well, Tommy didn’t get to do that, he didn’t know that you were here so all the stuff I know about you he doesn’t. And he’ll be different from me, like I said I’ve been your daddy since you were born but Tommy has only known about being your dad for a week.” Buck pauses to let that wash over Theo, who is frowning.

“So we’re not gonna live with Tommy now? And you’re not gonna get married like the other moms and dads at school? You’ll be like Betty’s mommy and daddy? They don’t live together anymore, Betty takes turns seeing them.” Buck ignores the flush that travelled over his body at the thought of marrying Tommy and mulls over how to answer.

“Sort of. Well, no we’re not going to live together right now and we’re not going to get married.” Not anytime soon anyway but Buck isn’t opposed to the idea. “It’ll be a little like Betty and her parents. But like I said before, Tommy is going to have to get used to being a dad and we’re going to have to get used to Tommy being around too.” Buck swallows down the sudden panic of having to share Theo with somebody else. “I’m sure one day you’ll get to stay at Tommy’s and see him like Betty does with her parents but how about for now we take it a little bit at a time. Like today we can call Tommy up at work and you can talk to him for a bit and this week we'll see him again and you can ask him some questions and hang out with him.”

“But you’ll be there too, won’t you? We can both hang out with Tommy? Because Betty’s parents don’t talk to each other.” Theo looks worried, biting his lip and clutching his teddy bear.

“Hey, hey. Of course I’ll be there. I’d love to get to know Tommy too so how about we do it together, yeah?” Buck cups one of Theo’s chubby cheeks and Theo easily leans into it.

Something passes over his face and then it clears into determination. He holds his teddy tighter, expression set as he nods. Buck has a bad feeling that this isn’t going to do him any good but he’s not sure why.

“Deal! Me, you and Tommy. Other daddy? Can I call him that?” Theo asks.

“Well, maybe not Other Daddy.” Buck laughs and Theo cocks his head, not quite understanding the joke. “Its up to you Theo but why don’t you ask Tommy when you see him this week, after you spend some time together in person. You might just want to keep calling him Tommy until you get to know him better and that’s fine.”

“No, he’s my daddy too. I want to. Unless you’d be sad?” The determination melts off Theo’s face and instead worry forms but Buck quickly helps shake it off.

“I wouldn't be sad, T. He is your dad. But just know that I’ll always, always be here for you no matter what, okay?” 

Buck doesn’t outright want to say that he’ll be here for Theo even if Tommy ditches them, even if he runs for the hills when it truly sets in that he’s a parent. Its not fair to Theo to plant that idea in his head and its not fair to Tommy to think of him that way when he’s been nothing but truthful with Buck so far. But he wants Theo to know just incase, just incase someone leaves him behind he needs Theo to know that he’ll never be alone because Buck will always be here.

“Okay! And I’ll be here too.” Theo grins up at him and sensing weakness he strikes. “Can we have waffles for breakfast? With syrup and blueberries?”

And Buck can’t say no so they get ready for the day and head to the kitchen. Both of them inhale their food like its the last thing they’re ever going to eat and then Theo crawls haphazardly into Buck’s lap to pout up at him and ask when they’re going to call Tommy because Tommy promised that he could. So Buck sends the alpha a text and they wait. It takes a few hours to get a response but Buck manages to distract Theo with a deep sea documentary for kids that he found. Tommy finally answers and apologises for the wait, they had back to back calls and he’s being sent out on a grocery run with Lucy but once he’s back he’ll be free until another call comes in. Buck holds Theo off a little longer with lunch, then he sits them both down at the kitchen island, sets his phone on the table and lets it ring.

“Hello? Evan?”

“Are you flying your helicopter?” Theo nearly shouts, bursting with excitement as he slaps his little hand down onto the counter.

“Hi Theo.” Tommy’s voice already sounds fond. “No, I’m not flying but I’m working on a chopper right now, taking a look at the engine.”

“That’s cool! We just had lunch, daddy made a shark board for us.”

“Charcuterie.” Buck gently corrects.

“That sounds incredibly fancy.” Tommy says, amusement clear in his tone.

“I accidentally got him addicted to cheeseboards and now its a weekly tradition. He craves a lunch sized snack.” Buck cuts in and Tommy laughs, Theo giggles too even though Buck is pretty sure he doesn’t get whats so funny.

“Tommy, do you like char- shark,“ Theo huffs so Buck jumps in again.

“Charcuterie.”

“Those. Do you like em? I like the grapes.” Theo is looking down at the phone hopefully.

“Yeah, I like them. I like grapes too and cheese.” Tommy still sounds like he’s holding back a laugh but he’s keeping it together so far.

“You have to come and have one with us. We can add all your favourites too. I have my crackers and cheese and grapes and sometimes blueberries and chocolate pretzels. Daddy has those too and some meat stuff. What do you like? Daddy says we should get to know you so I have some questions.”

“Oh?” Tommy manages to sound curious in just one syllable and Buck feels mortified for some reason. “Okay, shoot.”

“What would you add to the shark board?” 

“Olives, I think.”

“Gross.” Theo and Buck say together and Tommy laughs loudly again.

“Sorry, kid.”

“Keep them away from my grapes please.” Theo says, eyeing the phone like Tommy is going to reach through it and offer him an olive. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Blue.” Tommy says quickly and Theo shouts in excitement.

“That’s mine too! And daddy’s.”

Theo goes on to grill Tommy for half an hour, question after question and Buck knows he’s not going to remember all of Tommy’s answers but he keeps asking anyway. Buck tries to make a mental note of them all but knows he’s probably going to forget some stuff too. Tommy happily answers them all though. Probably because Theo’s line of questioning is easy enough and some of his answers make Theo giggle in delight and if Tommy is at all like Buck then he’ll do anything to hear that sound over and over so questions continue to be answered. Then an alarm sounds on Tommy’s end of the phone.

“Shit. Sorry! Theo pretend you didn’t hear that word. I’ve got to go but you can call me again any time, alright Theo? Its no problem. Okay, bye.”

“Bye!” Theo calls.

“Be safe.” Buck adds and then Tommy is gone.

“I was running out of questions.” Theo says then starts to squirm and Buck helps him off his lap and sets him on his feet on the floor. “I’m going to write some down.” And he thunders off to his room.

Later Tommy sends across his schedule for the week and Buck finds a slot on Wednesday that should work for both of them and they agree to meet mid afternoon once school is out so Theo can join them and Buck adds it to his calendar feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness warring in his gut.

———

Buck had taken Theo to the park after his shift so that he could burn through some of his endless energy and his plan seems to have worked because Theo is out within a minute of his head hitting the pillow, not even a bedtime story was needed to send him off to sleep. Buck is grateful for it when Eddie comes knocking at his door still talking about Marisol almost becoming a nun and drowning in some kind of catholic guilt. Buck honestly isn’t too sure on the details.

“Maybe I should be doing what you and Tommy are doing, sticking with the guys you know.” 

Buck just stares at Eddie for a minute because that can’t have been a casual confession and then it clicks that Eddie thinks Buck and Tommy are just friends. Which they are. Right now. But Buck is not opposed to more. Not at all. So he takes the opportunity to catch Eddie up.

“It was supposed to be a date actually. That night.” He confesses, watching Eddie take that in.

“Supposed to be?” He quirks an eyebrow up after a moment of silence and Buck snorts.

“Yeah, well.” He shrugs because now he’s standing on the edge of the cliff, staring down the act of telling Eddie and he’s nervous. He knows it won’t really matter to Eddie, that he’s never bothered Buck for details about the mystery alpha that knocked him up all those years ago. Eddie has always just accepted that Buck never really wanted to talk about it and moved on. “I need to tell you something.” He says it slowly, letting the rest of the thought form in his mind so he doesn’t just blurt it out like he did with Maddie.

“You’re not pregnant are you?” Eddie’s eyes drift down to his stomach and back and Buck’s mouth falls open.

“What? No! Where did you get that idea from?”

“You’ve just been acting off lately. I wasn’t here when you were pregnant last time, I have no frame of reference and you’ve been cagey recently.” Eddie takes another gulp of his beer and Buck lifts his own up.

“Wouldn’t be drinking this if I was, idiot. Or coffee. And I wouldn’t have agreed to sushi the other day either. Do you know anything about being pregnant?”

“Not really.” Eddie shrugs and Buck doesn’t have the time to unpack that right now so he continues.

“Right, well. That’s not what I was going to say. You remember that I already knew Tommy, I met him in Peru before I came up here?”

“Yeah, you said. Wait,” Eddie is really looking at him now and Buck does his best not to hunch his shoulders as he watches Eddie’s brain work, its like he can almost see the thought stitching itself together. “You said you’d talked but- Buck did you sleep with Tommy in Peru?”

“Yeah.” He admits that part easily because he’s actually quite proud of that bit, the sex had been amazing and Tommy's knot was even better but he keeps his mouth shut about it because the topic always makes Eddie squirm. “I met Tommy in Peru, we slept together and a couple days later I came up to LA. Joined the academy pretty soon after I got here. Found out I was pregnant with Theo just after I’d started at the 118.” Eddie has all the facts now and Buck has basically lead him to the answer.

“Right? So? You slept with Tommy, is that what you wanted to tell me?” Eddie stares at him and Buck tries not to sigh.

Well, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

“Tommy is Theo’s dad, Eddie.” Buck rolls his eyes and takes a swig of his beer, watching Eddie’s mouth fall open and his eyes widen. “He knows. He didn’t but I told him after the basketball game when he came round and that meal was us discussing how this is going to work now that he knows.” Eddie’s mouth somehow opens further. “Theo knows too. They met at the hospital the other day. We didn’t mean for that to happen but biology, you know?” Buck taps his nose and Eddie’s eyes bug some more. “I wanted to tell you as soon as I saw Tommy in the hangar but I was getting in my head about it but now Theo knows he’s definitely going to blab so I wanted to make sure I told you first.”

“So, so you’ve known Theo’s dad was Tommy this whole time?” Eddie eventually finds his voice.

“Yeah, I knew it was Tommy that knocked me up. Contrary to popular belief back then I wasn’t opening my legs for every alpha that showed any interest in me. It was pretty obvious that he was Tommy’s. And look at him, Theo I mean, picture him and Tommy side by side and tell me you can’t see it.” Eddie squeezes his eyes closed, probably doing just what Buck has said and he nods.

“Alright, yeah, I see it. How come you never, you know, told him? Told Tommy.” Eddie doesn’t sound accusatory but he does sound extremely curious.

“You’re gonna call me an idiot.” Buck starts and a playful smile dances on Eddie’s lips. “And maybe I am one for this. That night we had, it was different.” He looks imploringly at Eddie, silently begging him to understand just what Buck means because it wasn’t just the sex, it was never just about the sex and Eddie’s smile slowly drops as he nods.

“Alright, it was different.”

“Yeah. So, he did mention he was a firefighter in LA, even mentioned that he was a pilot and I already had plans to come up here so you know, it felt serendipitous or whatever. So we had this great night and, and you don’t wanna hear about this but we, well there was a knot involved and I’d never done that before, so I guess on some level it was special in a society is weird about sex way.” Eddie grimaces so Buck quickly pushes on. “We both sort of agreed it had been different for each other but then I woke up in the morning and he was gone. He’d said the night before that he had a flight but yeah, in the morning I was alone and it really hurt. More than it had any time before. So I thought that was that, that he wasn’t interested so I just pushed down everything about it and got on with my life. And by the time I found out about Theo I’d been working as a firefighter already and you know those first months are crazy and I’m gonna say pregnancy brain was also messing with me because that makes me feel a smidge better.”

“Life has kind of been a lot the past few years.” Eddie agrees. “So what changed? What made you tell him?”

“Well, I found out that he had actually left his number and a note for me that must have got lost in the sheets and I believe him. That probably sounds stupid but I do. And you know him, Tommy is.” Buck trails off, ducking his head to cover a smile and Eddie snorts.

“Ah, I see where the date of it all came into it.” He teases and Buck kicks out at him, his foot just missing Eddie’s shin.

“Shut up. Anyway, I’m charmed by him even now and that night I told him, we did kiss before but then I blurted it out about Theo and here we are. I said the choice of how involved he wanted to be was up to him, that we’d figure it out and he went away to think about it but I think he already knew he wanted to be Theo’s dad before he even left my apartment. And he believes me too, that in the end I didn’t keep them apart on purpose, it was not a mistake exactly but a miscommunication that just lead to me blanking everything we’d spoken about to the point of never thinking about it and then never looking for him. I think that’s partly why I’m letting this all happen so quickly. I know most people wouldn’t have let him come up to the hospital room and seen Theo because there was a possibility he’d know and we’re seeing him again later this week and I think I’m rushing things but Tommy doesn’t seem to mind. Well, obviously he wants to see Theo, that’s his kid. But I think I feel guilty? No, I know I feel guilty that I kept them apart for so long and its why I’m letting it happen and even being self aware isn’t stopping me. Am I making bad choices here? It doesn’t feel wrong though but Theo is so young, how do you keep things simple enough for him to understand when its actually quite complicated.” Buck realises he’s rambling but this is the first time he’s said any of this out loud and he’s connecting dots that he’d previously been ignoring.

“Does it need to be?” Eddie says after taking a moment to let Buck’s spiral sink in.

“Huh?”

“Does it need to be complicated? Tommy is Theo’s dad and all three of you want him and Theo to get to know each other, to have a good relationship. Tommy isn’t stupid, he’ll have thought about what he’d be getting into and I’m sure you’ve told him. You clearly, you know, like the guy too. In a romantic way, right?” Buck flushes but nods. “Why can’t you have your cake and eat it too? Maybe you’re just making it complicated when it could actually be quite simple. You’re a family, you find a way to make it happen.”

“Just like that? I don’t think that’s how these things usually work.” Buck fiddles with his beer bottle.

“Maybe not.” Eddie grins. “But you tend to beat the odds, you’ll figure it out. You can’t throw something away before you’ve even given it a chance.”

Buck raises his eyebrows and grins at Eddie. “Now that is some good advice.”

Eddie sighs and shakes his head but he’s already smiling. “Yeah, yeah I guess it is. I should talk to Marisol.”

He gets up and they share a quick hug before Eddie heads back home. Buck wanders down the hall and pokes his head in to check on Theo, who is still in the exact same spot Buck left him in earlier. He can’t help himself and he slips into the room, slowly perching on the edge of Theo’s bed and reaching out to run a soft hand through his curls. Theo mumbles but doesn’t wake up, just presses into the warmth of Buck’s palm and exhales. The teddy that Tommy scented is under Theo’s unbroken arm and Buck resists the urge to lean down and press his nose against it. He sighs quietly instead.

Does it need to be complicated?

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He and Tommy had an amazing night in Peru several years ago. Buck ended up pregnant. He kept the baby and raised him on his own until now and he’s never regretted that choice. He met Tommy again by chance and he still feels that pull, that draw to him that he felt that night. He told Tommy about Theo so now the alpha knows that he’s a father. Tommy has made the choice that he wants to be involved, wants a relationship with Theo. Theo knows that Tommy is his dad. Eddie knows, Maddie knows. Buck is pretty sure Bobby knows. Theo also wants a relationship with Tommy as far as Buck can tell. Buck wants a relationship with Tommy as well, he doesn’t just want to coparent, he wants to try to be a family. Is it the best idea to dive in headfirst and try and date as well as help Tommy adjust to parenting? Probably not but Buck finds himself wanting to try anyway.

Buck just needs to figure out where Tommy stands in all of this. Its one thing for Buck to know that Theo wants them to be somewhat of a family unit and that Buck himself wants that too if its possible but Tommy might not and for once he’s not going to bulldoze into this. There’s three hearts on the line and Buck is going to be careful, this isn’t just a fling, this could be forever. It will be forever if Tommy really wants to be Theo’s dad, he’ll have to see Tommy at every single one of Theo’s future life events so this has to be treated with all the care he can give it.

That deep pit inside him is howling though because Buck wants this so much. Something about Tommy had fit just right and he was stupid for not chasing it, he’s not going to do that this time so he’s going to ask. When they meet for coffee this week, whilst Theo is distracted Buck is going to ask about a date because going slow means he has to at least start moving. He just hopes he gets the answer he wants.

———

Theo is already vibrating with excitement over seeing Tommy again when Buck says bye to him before his shift and the kid still has to wait another 24 hours. He’s staying at Maddie’s for a change because she’d demanded some time with her nephew and Theo had happily agreed. His son is practically bursting when Buck picks him up from school the next day and Buck once again understands why the others call him and Theo golden retrievers in human form, he can basically see Theo’s metaphorical tail wagging. He pulls up to the coffee shop and has to keep a firm grip on Theo to make sure he doesn’t go shooting off to see if Tommy has already arrived. Which he hasn’t because he’s already text Buck to let him know when he’d be there and Buck and Theo have got about 10 minutes on him. He’s so nervous he lets Theo give him the run around and ends up ordering a monstrosity of a drink for him, he swears hot chocolates don’t usually come with that many extra sweets but Theo is happy and occupied and not chattering Buck’s ear off about Tommy so he lets him get away with it.

Buck is so engrossed in watching Theo absolutely devour his hot chocolate that he almost misses Tommy approaching them. He happens to look up at the right time and sees Tommy a couple of feet away. He’s dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie and he looks cosy and soft. Buck wants to curl up and snuggle into Tommy’s hoodie right there with him.

“Hi.” Buck lifts a hand in a wave despite Tommy being so close, close enough that Buck can see a smile light up Tommy’s face.

“Hey.” Tommy stops and hovers opposite him and Theo takes a large swallow and kneels up in his chair.

“Hi!” He slams his hot chocolate down and leans towards Tommy, who reaches out and ruffles his hair, smile still in place.

“I, I got you coffee. Didn’t know how you took it though.” Buck gestures at the cup and Tommy startles.

Then he pulls his chair out and sits down. Both Theo and Buck watch in anticipation as he takes a sip and both of them deflate just a little when Tommy grimaces.

“So not like that.” Tommy quips with a small grin, setting the cup down carefully.

“Was it yucky?” Theo asks, inching his hot chocolate closer to Tommy in offering.

“Nah, not yucky.” Tommy reaches out to cuff Theo’s chin affectionately causing the little boy to giggle. “Just not what I’m used to.” Tommy slides Theo’s hot chocolate back in front of him, winking at Buck when their son is busy taking another inhale of chocolate and whipped cream. “That looks good though.”

“Its hot chocolate, you wanna try?” Theo holds it out to Tommy again, who peers at it once more before shrugging.

“Alright sure, I love chocolate.”

“Me too!” Theo nearly yells and Buck quickly shushes him.

“That’s good, kid.” Tommy says after a small sip, handing the drink back to Theo and looking over towards Buck. “Your shift okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Good.” He toys with his own cup. “Yours?”

“Yeah, good. Not too busy.”

“I had fun at school.” Theo interrupts, eagerly looking between Buck and Tommy. “Me and Henry coloured. I did a helicopter! Its in my bag if you wanna see it?” Theo looks at Tommy hopefully and Buck’s heart squeezes.

“Sure! I bet its great.” Tommy smiles warmly at Theo who shrugs and grins down at his drink.

“You can have it if you like it. My bag is in daddy’s car though.” Theo is speaking to his hot chocolate instead of Tommy so he misses the way Tommy’s eyes light up but Buck doesn’t.

“Really? You’ll let me have a Theo Buckley original? Will you sign it for me?” Tommy asks and Theo’s head snaps up.

“Sign it?” Bashfulness has slipped away and curiosity is back in full force as Theo twists towards Tommy.

“Yeah, artists sign their work so that people know that they made it. So when you’re a big, famous artist in the future I can show off that I have a Theo Buckley original piece.” Tommy winks and Theo giggles.

“Okay! I’ll sign it.” Buck opens his mouth to say what he doesn’t know but Theo keeps talking. “Will you sign my cast now? I brought a pen.” Theo digs around in his pocket and produces a marker then he holds it out to Tommy.

“Of course.” Tommy takes it and Theo slides out of his seat so he can get closer to Tommy. “Anywhere?”

“Here.” Theo points to a spot that Buck can’t see but Tommy’s lips quirk up into a small smile.

“Alright, how’s that?” Tommy asks, finishing off his name with a flourish.

“Good! Thank you.” Theo takes the pen back but lingers in front of Tommy, not going back to his seat. 

Tommy watches him then glances up at Buck before he holds his arms out to Theo. The kid launches himself at Tommy and Buck snorts at the quiet oof Tommy lets out. Kids never quite know how strong they are. Or how heavy they are.

“Did you fly your helicopter today?” Theo asks from his spot held against Tommy.

“I did. Search and rescue, poor hiker got lost in the woods.” Tommy sends Buck a look that lets him know that the poor hiker had brought it on themselves but the job is the job.

Tommy proceeds to recount the rescue and both Buck and Theo are entranced. Buck leans forward, eager to hear how these things happen from Tommy’s side of the rescue and Theo just wants to hear about flying a helicopter and saving the day. Buck’s been told that the two of them have matching expressions when they’re learning about something new, like they’re going to be quizzed later and they’re soaking in every piece of information that they can. Buck is sure it looks much cuter on Theo’s face but every time Tommy looks over to him the alpha grins, eyes soft and warm. Drinks are slowly finished, Tommy answers every question thrown at him and eventually they’re done recounting Tommy’s shift.

“Tommy, that is so cool!” Theo is almost vibrating with excitement again. “I want to fly choppers!”

“No way, kid. Its too dangerous, how about we get you a motorbike instead?” Tommy laughs.

“Really?” Theo turns a pleading gaze to Buck.

“What do you think I’m going to say?” He asks and Theo pouts.

“No.”

“Correct.” Tommy laughs again. “You’re not helping.” Buck scolds with a grin and Tommy shrugs, an innocent expression falling into place. “Anyway, I was thinking about heading to the park for a bit, let Theo have some fun at the playground?” He widens his eyes just a little at Tommy who seems to understand that Buck wants to speak without Theo present so he easily agrees and Theo skips ahead to the exit of the cafe then waits for them to catch up.

“Thanks for the coffee by the way.” Tommy murmurs as he lets Buck walk in front of him as they weave through tables.

Buck can feel the hot press of Tommy’s palm against his lower back and he tries to fight the way his heartbeat speeds up. He resists the urge to let his body relax back against Tommy, to let the man physically guide him through the cafe and instead keeps walking, one foot in front of the other. Theo is bouncing around near the exit and as soon as Buck and Tommy are close enough he holds out a hand. Buck takes it on autopilot and they set off to the park that’s a couple blocks away. They’ve barely taken ten paces away from the coffee shop, the warm heat of Tommy’s hand unfortunately having fallen away as soon as they’d cleared the exit, when Theo pipes up.

“Are you as strong as daddy? You look like you are. Sometimes daddy lets me ride on his shoulders when we’re walking.” Theo is not at all subtle as he quizzes Tommy and both Buck and Tommy chuckle as they exchange a look.

“I’d say I’m pretty strong, you wanna get up here?” Tommy offers and when Theo nods he easily lifts him up over his head and settles him onto his shoulders.

“I think Tommy is taller than you daddy.” Theo shouts down to Buck as if he’s 20 feet off the ground.

“By an inch at most, T!” Buck protests and Tommy lets out a loud laugh.

“I think you’ve touched a nerve, kid.”

“What does that mean?” Theo asks, ever curious.

“It means you’ve found a subject, a thing, someone is sensitive about.” Tommy answer easily, hold steady on Theo’s legs.

Buck hates how his insides twist at how natural they seem walking down the street together. Theo happily sitting on Tommy’s shoulders like he does it all the time, small hands resting atop Tommy’s head, fingers on his cast free one threaded into Tommy’s hair. Tommy’s grip on Theo is secure and the added weight seems like nothing to him, his head twisting up as he speaks to their son. They probably look like a family, him, Tommy and Theo, their kid. Buck’s stomach does something funny and his heart feels like its in his throat. An elderly couple pass them by and the woman smiles, waving up at Theo who grins and waves back.

Tommy and Buck’s long legs eat up the distance to the park quickly and soon Tommy is reaching up to set Theo back onto his feet. Theo pouts for a moment then spots the playground and turns pleading eyes onto Buck, who is happy to approve his request this time.

“Please can I go play, daddy? I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“Okay. Stay where I can see you.” Buck rubs a wrist over Theo’s hairline then lets the kid dash off. “No tree climbing!” Buck yells after him.

“Uh huh!” Theo shouts back, already tearing towards the slide.

“You think he’ll be alright?” Tommy asks as the two of them start walking towards a nearby bench in sync.

“Yeah, we had a long talk about being careful and not making broken arms worse the day after the hospital. I’m 98% sure he’ll be okay.”

“Well, not to brag but I know some people in high places in the emergency services just incase there’s trouble.” Tommy smirks at him and Buck swallows nervously but leans in.

“Oh really? I’ll have to keep you around then, if you know a guy.” Tommy knocks him with his elbow and Buck checks him back with a laugh. “Thanks for coming today, I know it can be hard after a shift sometimes.”

“Its fine. I’m happy to see you whenever you can fit me in.” Buck’s heart rate sky rockets even though he knows Tommy means him and Theo as a pair, not just him. “I want to know everything about him, find out everything I’ve missed and I just want to stare at him but I know I’ll never have my fill.”

Tommy is staring out at Theo right now, watching as he finds his way up the steps of the slide, gripping on with one hand as the other is held against his chest before he shoots off down the metal slide. Buck nearly blurts out the existence of the letters, nearly comes clean to Tommy right there but he bites his tongue, swallows the words down quickly.

“Hey, I’m sorry the other night didn’t turn out as planned but I’m glad you’ve met him. All I’ve had for the past couple of days is chatter about you. And thank you, for, for dinner I mean. We could’ve split it, you know.” The words wipe away the wistful look on Tommy’s face as he smiles.

“Nah, I wanted to pay. I asked you after all.”

Buck turns his body slightly towards Tommy, Theo still well within eyesight.

“That kind of sounds like the rules of a date.” He tilts his head a little, mirroring that night Tommy came to see him at his apartment.

“Hm, does it?” Tommy takes his eyes off Theo to look at Buck, the smallest smile playing on his lips.

“Look, I, I know this is a lot. Theo and, and me too but-“ Buck chews his lip. “I know its not really an ideal time or circumstance maybe but I was kind of bummed that it wasn’t actually a date. Which feels a bit selfish because this is about our son, he’s more important than anything, but I.” Buck trails off, well accustomed now to the guilt flooding him.

“Hey.” Tommy has swayed towards him a little, eyes searching Buck’s face for something. “I really wanted it to be a date too. I like you.”

It feels like it should be childish or silly but the words light something up inside Buck. Tommy really barely knows him and he’s arguably seen some of the worst of Buck but he likes him. Tommy likes him. And he told Buck that, plainly to his face, no games or anything.

“I, I like you too.” He hates that he stutters through the sentence but he feels like he’s floating, he flicks his eyes between Theo and Tommy, watching a smile bloom across Tommy’s face. 

“I had a great night in Peru but actually getting to know you a bit now has been great too. You’re an amazing dad and you’re adorable, Evan. You know I'm interested but like you said its not so straight forward as just going on some dates and seeing how it goes.” 

Tommy’s gaze has landed back on Theo and Buck resists the urge to sigh. He frowns to himself as he remembers Eddie’s words about things being complicated. He also thinks about how much he wants this, for them to make this work and become a little family unit, how much he wants Tommy despite not knowing him that well right now. There was something about this man that has got underneath Buck’s skin and he wants, wants, wants.

“Why can’t it be?” He asks and Tommy turns his head and levels him with a matching frown. “Why can’t it be straight forward? We’re both interested in each other, in a romantic way not just a co parenting we-share-a-child sort of way. I just think if we don’t give ourselves a chance we might regret it.” Buck thinks he sounds alarmingly mature and he hopes Tommy is taking him seriously.

“Hm.” Tommy is looking at him again, like he’s looking into Buck and normally it would make him squirm but he doesn’t mind Tommy seeing him. “You’re right, I don’t want regrets here, not with you or Theo. But I think we’re going to have to be open and talk to each other. Its not just us after all.”

They watch Theo in silence for a few moments. He’s talking to another kid now, showing them his cast and clearly pointing out certain names that have been signed on it. He prods at two names with a wide smile then turns to point back at Tommy and Buck, who both wave. The other kid is hanging on Theo’s every word and then suddenly they’re marching back towards the slide talking easily like kids do, the best of friends for the next few minutes.

“I, I, I can talk. I do nothing but talk.” Buck tries to joke but it comes off weird, probably the nervous edge to his voice.

“Hey.” Tommy says softly, a small frown warping his features. “We just need to be honest about what we want and how we’re feeling. Which is scary I know but I’d rather force myself to be a little uncomfortable and vulnerable and keep you guys in my life than not say anything and fuck it all up and lose you. Not when I’ve just found you.” 

Buck’s heart clenches at those words as he remembers what Theo said about finding his other dad, about how he might be lonely and he fears that maybe Tommy has been because as much as Buck has dove head first into this, Tommy has followed him every step of the way so far. So he makes a quick decision.

“Come to my sister’s wedding with me. Us.” Buck blurts and he’d wanted to invite Tommy, maybe not quite so impulsively but he means it.

“What?”

“I’m being serious. Theo won’t be able to keep his mouth shut about you, he’s way too excited about all of this, about you, and I want people to know too. I’ve kept it a secret for far too long and you shouldn’t be a secret Tommy. I’ve already told my sister and Eddie and Maddie wants to meet you. And, and I want you to be my date.”

“Evan.” Tommy shakes his head a little, cocks it to one side then looks at him. Really looking at him once again. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Buck lets out a short laugh but he nods.

“Okay.” Tommy finally says with a cross between a shoulder wiggle and shrug and Buck can feel his cheeks aching from the size of his smile.

Buck tentatively slides his hand into the space in between them on the bench and Tommy almost immediately reaches out to cover it with his own. Its warm and calloused and it fits perfectly on top of Buck’s. He opens his mouth to give Tommy the details but they’re interrupted by their son charging towards them and yelling excitedly.

“Hey, hey Tommy! Daddy! Look at this!”

Then Theo promptly drops a wriggling worm onto Tommy’s knee. Buck politely doesn’t say anything about the almost shriek Tommy lets out and instead quickly removes said worm and reminds Theo that he should ask before he gifts people live critters because not everybody is as fascinated by them as he and Buck are. Theo apologises then hops up to sit squished between them, already babbling a mile a minute about his new friend and brimming with all the worm facts he has stored away. Tommy gently releases Buck’s hand so that he can brush his through Theo’s curls, looking down at him with such a fond expression it makes Buck’s heart squeeze. Then Tommy’s arm is coming to rest on the bench behind Theo, stretching out so his hand brushes Buck’s back and Buck finds himself unconsciously leaning into it, a spark of hope beginning to burn in his belly.

———

Chimney’s bachelor party had absolutely not turned out how Buck thought it would. He thought there would be more singing and dancing and sharing stories and laughter. And that Chimney would be there. At least Tommy had come, despite being on call and having to rush off with a promise to try and make it to the wedding. Buck is feeling less and less hopeful that the alpha will make it though and with everything that’s happened today he feels like he shouldn't be as disappointed as he is. 

Buck had gently told Theo earlier that Tommy had been fighting a fire all night so he might not be able to make it to the wedding after all and Theo had been a bit upset but Buck had promised he’d keep the kid updated. Then shit had really hit the fan and Chimney was actually missing, then seriously, dangerously sick, the wedding was off, then it was on again and now Buck has just watched his sister finally get married!

He feels his phone vibrate and pulls it out, finding a text from Tommy and he automatically starts to smile before he even reads it.

Here. Very sooty and a little crispy but did I miss it?

I’ll come and get you! The ceremony just finished but there’s cake!

Buck slides his phone away as he exits the elevator, pushing through the doors to find Tommy marching through the hospital entrance and oh.

Yeah, Buck gets it now. The turnouts, the uniform, the dirt. Its hot. So hot.

Tommy looks so good and Buck wants him. Badly.

“Sorry I’m late. That fire was a beast.” Tommy sighs, looking worn out but so sexy and Buck can’t help it.

"So are you.” He murmurs before sliding straight into Tommy’s space and kissing him.

He briefly thinks he should’ve asked, should’ve clarified that this was a thing they were doing, that kissing was on the table. But then Tommy makes this sweet little noise, a moan that makes Buck shiver and his hand lands on Buck’s waist and Buck forgets whatever he’d just been thinking about. His sole focus is Tommy’s lips, Tommy’s skin under his palm, the way his hair brushes Buck’s fingers. He can feel the familiar fabric of a turnout coat with his other hand that’s landed somewhere between Tommy’s waist and hip and he holds on. He presses closer when tongues get involved and he’s not sure who initiated that but now they’re really making out in the hospital entrance and all Buck can smell is smoke and chocolate and whiskey. 

A pointed cough from the nurses station is what pulls them apart, both of their cheeks are stained pink and Buck nearly preens as he takes in Tommy’s swollen lips and slightly dazed expression.

“Oh.” Is all the alpha says, blinking at Buck dopily before a grin splits his face.

“Hey.” He’s still holding onto Tommy’s neck and side, not wanting to let him go yet.

“Hi.” Tommy dives forward and gives him a quick peck, then another and another and one more before another cough and a quiet giggle has Buck walking backwards and tugging Tommy towards the elevators.

"Everything all good at Angeles Crest?” Buck asks, spinning to face the right direction but he threads his fingers with Tommy’s so that the other man can’t get too far away.

“Yeah. All clear. Nasty one though. Howie good?” Tommy is leaning against him, they’re pressed shoulder to shoulder and if they were alone in this elevator Buck would be begging for another kiss but there’s a couple doctors sharing the space with them, giving Buck amused looks. “You have, erm, soot by the way. Just all up here.” Tommy trails off and gestures to his own face.

“They say Chim is going to make a full recovery. And he just got married so he’s pretty happy. And it’ll wipe off, it’s fine.” And Buck can’t resist one more quick kiss as the doctors get off at the floor before theirs.

Buck leads them to the correct corridor then pauses before he heads down towards Chim’s room.

“You okay?” Tommy asks, nudging their shoulders together and Buck turns to face him.

“Thank you. For coming. I know you probably want to go home and shower and sleep for another 24 hours but I’m really glad you came.” Buck bites his lip and he feels awkward and vulnerable but Tommy smiles gently.

“Of course I came, I promised. I told you I’d try and make it and I did.” Tommy cups his cheek and gives him one more kiss. “Plus I thought Theo would undoubtedly have something to say if I missed it and I wanted to save you the complaints.” Tommy nudges him with his shoulder and Buck laughs loudly, drawing a few looks from the guests on the outskirts of Chim’s room.

“Oh, he definitely would have had something to say but remember he has your number now, I’d have made sure those complaints landed with you. But still, thank you. He’ll be really happy.”

“Yeah? You think?” Tommy looks hopeful and so sweet and he reminds Buck of Theo so much and if he has to share Theo with someone he thinks he’ll probably end up quite glad that it’s Tommy Kinard.

“I know.” He squeezes Tommy’s hand then leads them into the hospital room.

Theo darts away from his place next to Athena as soon as he spots Buck dragging Tommy by the hand through the guests still gathered around the couple. Athena tries to grab him but Theo is too fast, careening towards Tommy as people dart out of the way. He slams into Tommy’s legs, small arms wrapped as far around them as they’ll go and he stares up at him, giddy.

“You’re here!” He cries and Tommy grins down at him.

“Yeah, look who almost made it.” Buck says to the room at large.

There’s raised eyebrows from his parents, from Hen and Karen and even Chim. Theo releases Tommy’s legs and holds his arms up instead in a silent request. Tommy laughs but lets go of Buck’s hand to sweep Theo up onto his hip.

“Only for a second. I gotta take these dirty turnouts off, yeah?”

“Fine.” Theo pouts and Tommy cuffs his chin gently.

Buck knows he’s watching them with starry eyed affection but he can’t help it.

“Sorry I missed it you two. But congratulations.” Tommy directs towards Maddie and Chimney.

Maddie waves him off, eyes darting between Tommy and Theo and Chimney narrows his eyes at the three of them. Jee-Yun continues to eat her cake, entirely uninterested in anything happening around her.

“Thanks Tommy. It looks like you were,” Chim pauses, eyes passing over Tommy’s dirty turnouts to the soot on Buck’s face, “busy.” He finishes and Maddie laughs.

“Just a little.” Tommy quips with a tired smile.

They make small talk with Maddie and Chim for a few minutes but eventually the nurses start to glare at Tommy’s dirty turnouts and they head for the bathroom, leaving Theo with Bobby and Athena until they come back.

“So what’s the plan? To tell them all about Theo and stuff, I mean? I hope its not going to steal Maddie and Howie’s thunder or anything.” Tommy asks as he wipes at the soot on his face. He keeps missing bits though so Buck stands in front of him and takes over as Tommy leans against the counter. “Or do you just want me to stand next to Theo until they all work it out?”

“Its a good job Eddie already knows then, that would go straight over his head.” Buck smirks. “And I don’t think their thunder can be stolen after a day like today, this is just me catching everyone up, its chill.” He says, swiping away the last bit of dirt on Tommy’s nose.

Without thinking he dives in and places a kiss there. Its something he’d do with Theo, an easy show of affection that he doesn’t think twice about. He only realises what he’s done as he pulls away and he pauses, eyes widening because this is the second time today that Buck has kissed Tommy without asking first.

“Don’t panic, Evan.” Tommy teases, then leans in to press a quick kiss to Buck’s lips.

Buck wants to kiss him for the rest of time. So he uses his hold on Tommy’s face to bring him in again and they kiss for a little longer, only interrupted by someone trying the door handle.

“We should go back out there.” He murmurs, lips still resting against Tommy’s because he doesn’t want to pull away yet.

“On a scale of one to slipped and fell straight into a pile of horse shit how bad do I smell?” Evan laughs and Tommy’s face scrunches up into grin too.

“Only about a five.” He jokes, finally moving back so that Tommy can double check his reflection. “I’ll tell people, about you being my baby daddy,” Tommy’s eyes darken just a fraction and Buck bites his lip. "You just enjoy some cake.”

They head back to Chim’s room, Tommy’s turnouts folded and left just outside the doorway, stumbling in and immediately Theo is next to them. Buck finds Tommy a chair, insists he sit down because he must be tired after working all night to put out a fire. As soon as Tommy is comfortable Theo is tugging on his pants leg.

“Can I sit with you?” He pleads, the entire 118 team and Buck’s parents all watching curiously and Buck can see the gears turning in people’s heads. Maybe having Tommy and Theo sit together really is all he’ll need to do. “Please.”

“Of course. Come here.” Tommy easily sweeps Theo up into his lap.

“I’m really happy that you came. Were you flying your helicopter again?” Theo asks, eyes wide as he looks up at Tommy, then he turns around to face his family. “Tommy is a pilot, he can fly helicopters and planes!” There’s little chuckles around the room because most of them already know this but Bobby indulges Theo, as always.

“Oh yeah? That’s cool, isn’t it?”

“Yeah! Tommy is really cool!” Theo looks around the room eagerly, taking in how they all nod and smile. “He’s my other daddy.”

Chim chokes on his piece of cake.

“Theo!” Buck hisses but he relaxes a little when he sees that Tommy is doing his best not to laugh, ducking his chin so that his mouth is pressed to the top of Theo’s head.

Their son is looking smug as he sits back against Tommy’s chest, grinning like he’s not just dropped a bomb on the room. Tommy is blushing now and looking sheepishly at Bobby but he’s holding onto Theo, keeping him secure. Buck can feel his own flush rolling over his cheeks as Eddie cackles behind him. He takes a step towards Tommy and Theo and both of them beam up at him.

“Well, that was one way to tell people.” He sighs, fondly shaking his head down at Theo.

“Sometimes I’ve found that ripping the bandaid off is the best way to do it.” Tommy shrugs and Theo giggles.

“So, you want some of that cake?” Buck asks, already knowing Tommy is going to say yes and Theo perks up too. “No, you’ve already had some mister.”

“Please?” And sometimes Buck can’t help but crack under the pressure of his son’s puppy eyes so he sighs.

“Fine.” Tommy chuckles and hugs Theo to him, resting his chin on top of his head again. Theo grins like he’s just won the lottery.

“I’ll share my piece with him, how about that?”

“I’ll share my piece, you deserve a full slice after fighting a fire all night.”

“I heard your night was a bit of a wild one too.” Tommy’s eyes sparkle and Buck wants to kiss him again so badly but instead he squeezes his shoulder and heads off towards the cake.

Bobby swoops in to talk to Tommy before anyone else can, asking him about Angeles Crest and what crews had been called out and how Harbor is compared to his old days at the 118. Theo actually sits and listens too, playing with Tommy’s fingers because he always needs to fidget with something but Tommy just lets it happen. Buck sighs quietly, taking one last glance before he turns to pick up some cake, immediately jumping when he sees Hen and Karen waiting for him.

“So, got something to tell us, Buckaroo?” Hen smirks at him.

“Erm.” He slowly reaches out for a paper plate, avoiding eye contact with the Wilsons.

“You know I thought I recognised Theo’s blue eyes, always just assumed they were yours only darker but I stand corrected.” Karen has a matching smirk to her wife.

“Er, yeah. He definitely got Tommy’s eyes.” Buck swallows.

“So when you met in Peru?” Hen raises her eyebrows and Buck nods.

“Yeah, yeah we slept together.” Buck blushes because that’s all he does when Tommy is involved apparently.

“And he got you pregnant? Damn.” Karen almost sounds impressed and then she breaks out into a giggle.

“I’m sure you’ll tell us the full story some other time.” Hen says pointedly and Buck nods again. “But you’re okay? Everything is going alright with the current situation?” And just like that teasing fades away into true concern and Buck feels his heart flutter at being cared about.

“Yeah.” He says and doesn’t stop the grin unfolding across his face even if his cheeks are aching already. “We’re taking it a step at a time but so far things have gone well. Tommy knows what he’s signed up for and we’re taking things slow with Theo but he also seems happy about it all.”

“And you’re happy with how things are playing out?” Karen asks, slipping her hand into Hen’s.

“Yes. We’re, ah, going to try dating, see how it goes. I know that might seem crazy but,” Buck looks over to where Tommy and Theo are sat. They’re still talking to Bobby but Athena has joined them now too. Theo is snuggled in against Tommy’s chest, having turned so he can rest his head on Tommy’s shoulder, still fiddling with Tommy’s fingers. Tommy is happily chatting to Bobby and Athena but he keeps occasionally patting Theo’s stomach and looking down at him to make sure the kid is content. “I really like him. Really, really like him.”

Hen and Karen share a soft smile and Hen reaches out to squeeze his wrist.

“I hope it works out for you, Buck. Tommy’s sweet, a complete bitch of course, but sweet.”

“Yeah.” He sighs, fondness rising up in his chest. “I know.”

He grabs his two plates of cake and he’s heading back towards his son and Tommy when his parents sweep in.

“Ev-Buck. Is that who we think it is?” His mom asks, eyes wide as she looks between him and Tommy.

“Yeah, that’s Theo’s dad. His biological dad.” Buck nods, trying not to shuffle his feet.

“We didn’t know you knew him. Or, well I mean, how to find him.” His dad says, his own eyes widening at the slip up and Buck resists rolling his.

“Its a little complicated. Tommy didn’t know about Theo but I didn’t purposefully withhold the information. Things just got lost in translation but we met on accident, turns out Chim and the team know him, which was lucky for all of us, wasn’t it?” He stares them down and they nod. “I’ll spare you the details but we’re going to try and make things work for our family and especially for Theo and I’d really appreciate it if you could support that. Tommy is great, I’m sure you’ll like him.”

“We can do that.” His mom nods. “We’re happy that things have worked out.”

“Maybe it’ll be your turn next.” His dad gestures around the hospital room. “Just maybe not here if you can help it.”

“I’ll try.” Buck laughs awkwardly and its not the worst interaction he’s ever had with his parents so he takes it as a win then hightails it back towards Tommy and Theo.

Tommy yawns through a thank you and balances his cake on his opposite knee and Theo perks up to practically inhale Buck’s own slice. They fight each other for each bite, playfully whacking their forks together and when Buck looks up mid laugh he finds Tommy watching them. He’s chewing on his own bite and he’s not exactly smiling but there’s a look in his eye that makes Buck’s stomach turn pleasantly. Jee slides off Chim’s bed at one point and trots over to Buck so he swings her up onto his hip so that she can say hello to Tommy.

“Jee, this is my dad, Tommy!” Theo wriggles around on Tommy’s lap, elbowing him in the gut but Tommy hardly winces.

“Uncle Buck is your daddy.” Jee-Yun frowns at Tommy.

“Yeah but Tommy is my other daddy! Like Aunt Maddie is your mom and Uncle Chim is your dad.” Theo turns round to Tommy. “Jee likes princesses, do you have a favourite princess?”

“I like Cinderella?” Tommy almost asks and Theo grins and nods.

“You hear that, Jee-Yun? Tommy likes Cinderella the most just like your mommy!”

“Cinderella is good.” Jee grins. “Uncle Buck likes Belle.”

Tommy doesn’t even attempt to stop his chuckle as he looks up at Buck.

“You like the Beast too, Evan?”

“Shut up.” He hisses, face bright red and he quickly changes the subject.

They entertain Jee for a little longer before he hands her back to Maddie because she’s ready to go to bed and so is Tommy by the look of him. He’s listing to the side a little, grip on Theo still firm but he’s been yawning constantly for the last 20 minutes. Theo also looks tired, slumped against Tommy and his eyes keep flicking up to Tommy’s neck like he wants to bury his nose there and Buck gets it. His wild night and hangover are catching up to him too so as other guests filter out he sidles up to Maddie.

“I think we’re gonna head out too, Theo is crashing and so is Tommy to be honest.”

“Alright.” Maddie peers around him to look at father and son yawning in sync. “Thanks for today, it wasn’t what we expected but I’m glad we’re finally married.” Buck gives her a hug and bats her away when she asks if Tommy is a good kisser.

“You know he is. Look at what we made.” Buck gestures at Theo with a cheeky grin before dipping back towards the two of them. “Okay, I think we should head home, leave the patient to his recovery.”

“Got it.” Tommy sets Theo back onto his feet then heaves himself out of his chair. “Thanks for inviting me. I'm sorry again that I missed the ceremony.”

“Hey.” Buck interrupts, feeling Theo slide his hand into his. “Its fine, really. I’m glad that you even came at all.”

“I wanted to.” Tommy reiterates. “I’ll head down with you and call an Uber. I caught a ride in on a truck.”

“That’s cool.” Theo murmurs from in between them.

“We can drive you back to yours, its no problem.” He feels like he has butterflies in his stomach.

“Thanks but my truck is still at Harbor so-“

“We could take you tomorrow. I don’t mind driving you out there. If, if you want.” Buck can feel Theo pressing against his side as he totters along so he pauses to reach down and scoop him up into his arms. Theo immediately plants his face into Buck’s neck and takes in his scent, letting out a little contented sigh.

“I wouldn’t want to put you out, I really don’t mind getting an Uber.” Tommy shrugs, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand, the other holding onto his turnouts.

“Well, I mind. You’re beyond tired right now, I don’t want you to push yourself too far. What if you fall asleep and they kidnap you, or worse. Or what if they get here and won't take you because of your turnouts or something and you’re stuck at the hospital. Or what if you get to Harbor and try and drive home and something bad happens.” He’s trying to avoid saying that Tommy might get himself killed because Theo is right there but he widens his eyes and keeps his expression serious when Tommy looks at him. “Or-“

“Okay, okay.” Tommy chuckles. “I get it, no Uber for me.”

“Good.” Buck knows he sounds smug but he doesn’t care.

“Why can’t Tommy just stay with us?” Theo murmurs, snuggling in closer.

“Oh, well.” Then Buck shrugs because he can’t think of a reason that Tommy couldn’t other than the alpha not wanting to. “Actually I don’t know. You can borrow some clothes and stuff, if you wanted to stay? I’ve got spare toothbrushes and our shower is really nice.” He turns to Tommy and he tries to squish down the part of him that’s screaming for Tommy to say yes.

“I- Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude. But yeah, you’re right, I’m so tired.” With perfect timing Tommy lets out a shuddering yawn and Buck can practically feel the exhaustion rolling off him.

“I mean, I don’t have a spare room so, so it would be the couch.” Buck bites back the offer of sharing his bed because its not a full nest right now but the bones of one are always set up on his bed and inviting Tommy into it might be a bit intense even for him. “But if you don’t mind then its free.”

“Honestly I could sleep just about anywhere right now.” Tommy admits and he joins Buck as he heads for the Jeep.

“Can you sit with me, Tommy?” Theo asks and Tommy agrees, settling into the back with him. The car is quiet for a few minutes, the low hum of the radio being the only noise, as Buck starts the drive home but eventually its Theo that breaks the silence between them. “Tommy, can I ask you a question?”

“You just did, bud.” Buck watches Tommy smirk slightly as he waits for the light to turn green and Theo groans. “But sure, go ahead, Theo.”

“Erm, well its okay if you say no.” But the look on Theo’s face is saying the exact opposite, he looks nervous and shy again and he tugs on the hem of his t shirt. “But, I, I really like that you’re my dad. You’re really nice and you fly helicopters and everybody knows now. Can I call you dad? Please. Daddy says its not been that long that you’ve known me so its up to you but I’ve always called daddy my daddy so I want to call you my dad too.” Its charming logic and Buck loves his son so much.

“Oh, Theo.” Tommy sounds gutted and Buck can feel the lump in his throat, his grip on the steering wheel tightens and he forces himself to remember that he can't just turn around and see what’s happening right now. “Of course. Of course you can call me dad. I’d love that actually. It was very kind of you to ask first, that was very thoughtful.”

“Do you want to come to my birthday party? Its next weekend and its at our house. I can give you an invitation if you want, we made some for my friends. Its deep sea themed. Daddy has it all planned, he’s the best! I’m gonna be six!”

“I’d love to come to your birthday party, Theo.” Tommy makes eye contact with Buck through the mirror at the next red light and gives him a slight tip of the head and Buck nods, its totally fine with him if Tommy wants to come to Theo’s party. “If you have a spare invitation I’d love one, I bet they’re super cool.”

“Uh huh, they have subamarines on them.”

“You like submarines?” Tommy asks, gently emphasising the correct pronunciation for Theo.

“Kinda. I like the animals better but we looked for ages and there’s none you can get in the store. So we picked sub-marines.” Theo sounds the word out and Tommy makes a little noise of encouragement.

“Alright, we’re here.” Buck announces and he gathers Theo up as Tommy grabs his turnouts, not wanting to leave them to stink up the car. “Going in the elevator, T. We’re all too tired to do stairs tonight.”

“Fine.” Theo pouts and curls into Buck’s chest, nose once again pressed into his neck.

They all shuffle into the apartment and Buck gets Tommy set up with a towel, clothes and a toothbrush and whilst he’s in the shower he gets Theo ready for bed. He’s ready and waiting outside the bathroom dressed in his pyjamas and clutching his teddy whilst they wait for Tommy to finish up. Buck nearly swallows his tongue when Tommy opens the door with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Water drips down his torso in little rivulets and they all race down, down, down and Buck wants to see whats under that towel again but their son is right here and he needs to get a grip. He shifts as he feels the telltale dampness around his hole, cheeks burning and mortification drowning him.

“Sorry, didn’t want to hold Theo up going to bed.” Tommy gives him a sheepish grin, clutching his towel like his life depends on it.

“Er,” Buck coughs, finally dragging his eyes up to Tommy’s face. “Its fine.” He chokes out.

“Dad, please can you scent my teddy bear again before I go to sleep?” Theo thrusts his teddy towards Tommy, who looks delighted at the word dad.

“Of course.” He carefully takes the teddy, scenting it thoroughly and hands it back to Theo. The kid tucks the bear under his arm then heads into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“Thanks for doing that for him.” Buck forcibly keeps his eyes on Tommy’s face, not letting his gaze wander any lower whilst Tommy isn’t wearing clothes.

“Its no problem. I used to love it when my mom did that with mine.” A sad, wistful look passes over Tommy’s face before he shakes himself.

“You can get changed in my room if you want, its just across the hall.”

Tommy ducks into Buck’s room with his pile of clothes, Buck had found his most oversized items for Tommy to wear, and Buck watches Theo finish up with his nighttime routine. He tucks him into bed, pressing a kiss to his forehead before flicking off the light and closing the door. He heads back into the bathroom to wash up himself, grabs a drink from the kitchen and then slips into his bedroom only to find Tommy laid out on the bed.

“Tommy?” He whispers and the alpha jerks and sits up.

“Sorry, sorry. I sat down to change my socks and I think I was so tired I must have, I don’t know, fallen asleep somehow. Sorry, I’ll leave you to it. Do you’ave a blanket?” It comes out slurred and Buck’s willpower wavers and then crumbles all in one go.

“You can just stay in here. Its fine. You need the sleep and the couch really isn’t that comfy.” Buck kneels on the bed and hovers next to Tommy, fingers twitching with the urge to reach out to him.

“No, Evan. I, this is yours. I don’t want to intrude.” Tommy blinks sleepily at him.

“You wouldn’t be. I don’t mind. I just- don’t feel like you have to. I know its not a proper nest right now but some people don’t like to share when they’re not, you know. So I won’t be offended if you’d rather take the couch. Maybe I should’ve just driven you home, Theo would’ve fallen asleep in the car and-“

“Evan.” Tommy quietly interrupts. “Its your nest, you tell me where you want me.”

“We can share.” He almost whispers because despite everything it feels too vulnerable to tell Tommy that he wants to share a bed, his nest with him. Because he thinks he’d sound insane but also he doesn’t want to be too much, doesn’t want to put pressure on the alpha. “I don’t remember if you snored or not.”

“Only sometimes.” Tommy grins up at him.

They silently get under the covers and Buck shivers slightly when he realises that all he can smell is Tommy’s scent and his and Theo’s laying just under it, baked into the fabric of the nest at this point no matter how much Buck washes the sheets. Tommy’s hand slides across the bed under the covers and he links his pinky with Buck’s. Buck takes the opportunity to roll onto his side and press a kiss to Tommy’s jaw. He meant to move away but Tommy drops his pinky and slides his arm under Buck’s body, drawing him closer and Buck doesn’t stop himself from snuggling into Tommy’s chest, nose not quite pressing into his neck and just missing Tommy’s scent gland. Buck resists the urge to lick it, they’re not at that point and instead he closes his eyes. He slips into sleep quickly and easily, safe in his nest with Tommy and their son cocooned in his own bed just next door. Buck thinks he could get used to this and he hopes Tommy stays.

———

Buck is going to lose his mind. The week before his party, the night after they’d driven Tommy back to Harbor to pick up his truck and after all the invites had long since been sent and even the party decorations had been bought Theo had wandered into the living room, pulled himself up onto the couch next to Buck and asked if he could swap to a helicopter themed party instead. Buck had just stared at him for a second, trying to garner if Theo was serious. He had been and Buck had tried not to sound annoyed as he explained that it was too late to swap and that Theo loved all the deep sea stuff, why did he want to change?

Theo had fiddled with the edge of his cast, eyes downcast as he muttered about how now that his dad was coming he wanted to swap to something Tommy knew about as well. Theo and Buck had been learning about the deep sea for about a month but Tommy hadn’t been around for many of their lessons and he didn’t want his dad to feel left out. It was very sweet but Buck had also wanted to tear his hair out. He’d ended up texting Tommy and asking him to naturally bring up the party and assure Theo that he was in fact excited for a deep sea adventure. Tommy had performed wonderfully the next time Buck and Theo had met up with him and Theo was soon feeling more confident in his choice. It had helped that Tommy had offered a tour of Harbor Station as part of his present.

Buck had tried to tell Tommy to stop spoiling Theo but his heart wasn’t in it because Buck wanted to go back and see the birds again too. Tommy had also offered to help set up the party and now here they were, approximately two hours out from being overrun with 5 to 6 year olds in Buck’s not tiny but not overly large apartment.

“Maybe I should’ve hired somewhere after all, its all looking a bit small now.” Buck surveys the piles of decorations and how the dining table is completely covered with party food.

“If I’d had time to kid proof you could’ve used mine, I have a house. Maybe, maybe next year? If Theo wants another off the wall party.” Tommy is currently blowing up balloons that are all shades of blue.

“I’m sure he’d love that.” Buck answers from his spot by the balcony door, he’s currently sticking up some transparent blue film to give the whole room a blueish, hopefully watery, tint. “Are you sure you want to stick around for the whole thing today? It can kind of be a lot and I’m pretty sure Theo is going to experience a sugar rush so intense that he’ll be the crankiest person alive when it wears off.”

“Hey, parenting is the ups and the downs, right? And of course I want to be here the whole time, I’ve got to make up for missing the first 5.”

“Tommy.” Buck clambers down from the ladder, shoulders sagging and Tommy quickly stands up, kicking up balloons as he hurries towards Buck.

“Sorry, sorry. That wasn’t a dig or anything. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I didn’t think about how it would sound.” His eyes are wide and full of concern and Buck feels terrible because he should not be the one who’s upset here, he’s had every one of Theo’s birthdays so far.

“No, no I know. I just-“ Tommy reaches for his hands and Evan lets him take them. “Its not fair that you didn’t get that and I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’ll have the rest of them with him, won’t I?” He squeezes Buck’s hands and he’s so understanding for some reason it makes Buck want to cry. “And maybe an extra slice of cake too.” Buck lets out a little watery laugh and Tommy gather him into a hug. Buck clings to Tommy’s hoodie and buries his face into the crook of Tommy’s neck. “Plus, I’ve been to kid’s birthday parties before, I’ve played princess and picked them up off the floor when they’ve scraped their knees and helped clean up the inevitable mess, today will be fine. We’ve got this.”

Buck pulls back and looks at Tommy and he aches so deeply inside over the fact that this hasn’t been his life until now. He’s missed out on having a partner right there with him through it all. He’s still managed with Theo of course, he’s a capable parent, maybe even a good one. But its nice to have a partner in this with him, someone who can share the load, someone who wants to see Theo be happy just as desperately as him, someone who is there and willing to support him. And its not that it had to be Tommy but Buck feels pretty glad that it is.

“You should’ve seen this place last year. It was a dinosaur disco theme, I’m still finding glitter now.” He tries to chuckle and Tommy at least lets out a little snort.

“That explains why I was shining after I stayed over the other day.”

Buck tightens his hold on Tommy, squeezing him close and sighing quietly.

“Thank you. For helping today. And for not being angry over missing his other parties. I wouldn’t blame you if you were. But having you here for this one makes it so much nicer.”

“Being angry at you or this situation won’t turn back the clock, Evan. Sure, I can be upset and frustrated but I’m really trying not to be bitter that you’ve had so much time with him already because it won’t change it and I’m here now. I get the rest of my life with him and, and you now. And anger would ruin that, I know how it feels being on the other side of that and I’d never want that for you two.” Buck’s hands fist into the fabric of Tommy’s hoodie, clinging on even tighter.

“I missed you.” He sniffs. “I felt stupid for missing you when I hardly knew you and you didn’t want me but sometimes I’d look around and be disappointed when I couldn’t find you there. I think Theo missed you too.”

“I’m here now.” Tommy whispers and Buck takes a deep inhale of that comforting chocolate and vanilla.

“Come on.” Buck pushes himself away. “We’re not done yet and we don’t have long before Theo is back and these kids start arriving.”

Tommy methodically hangs streamers and paper jellyfish from the ceiling as Buck sticks ocean themed decorations into some cupcakes. Hen had already dropped off an under the sea themed cake, which was sitting in the middle of the dining table and Buck just managed to squeeze the plate of cupcakes on too. He pulled up some underwater ambience video for the tv and set up a projector that really made it feel like they were in the sea. Tommy pulls out some cardboard creatures he’d made for the occasion, simple drawings that looked cool stuck to the windows and door. Buck makes sure they have bubbles galore, he’d bought a bubble machine late one night and he only half regrets it because he knows Theo will love it. He lays out some glowsticks for the kids too and then he and Tommy step back to survey their work.

“Not to pat ourselves on the back too much but this place looks great.” Tommy stands there, hands on hips nodding to himself.

“Yeah, this looks even better than the dinosaur disco. He’s going to love it.” Buck grins over at Tommy and checks his phone. “Maddie said they’re setting off now so we have about 15 minutes, you wanna make out for a bit?”

They land on the couch and Buck nearly sits himself in Tommy’s lap but then thinks better of it because they don’t have long. He does shove his hand up under Tommy’s t shirt and hoodie though because he’s only a man but Tommy doesn’t seem to mind. With a couple minutes to spare they separate, lips spit slicked and swollen. They can’t seem to help themselves because they trade a few more chaste kisses until Buck’s phone goes off.

“They’re coming up the stairs. You ready for him to be brutally honest with us?” Buck teases, reluctantly releasing Tommy and getting up off the couch.

“He’s going to love it, so bring it on.” Tommy heads back towards his coat and bag, pulling out a rectangular box wrapped in helicopter patterned paper.

‘Where did you even find that gift wrap?” Buck sounds incredulous because he’d looked high and low and couldn’t find anything that was nice and also didn’t cost a ridiculous amount of money.

“I know a guy.” Tommy winks, setting the present on the island. It makes a rattling noise and Buck raises an eyebrow.

“That’s either broken or you got him Lego. And the only Lego set he wants is that expensive fire station set or equally expensive fire rescue plane set.” Buck watches Tommy pull out a similar sized rectangle. “You did not get him both. Tommy! You’re already giving him a tour of Harbor, you didn’t need to get him anything else.”

Tommy shrugs. “I wanted to. I loved Lego as a kid and he wants them.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that.” But Buck is already making is way towards Tommy to give him another kiss, then another and another. “No Lego at Christmas though.”

Tommy nods and grins at him, hands settling on Buck’s waist as he leans back against the island. He looks delicious, which is frustrating because Buck is not going to have the energy to do anything about it after Theo’s party is over.

“Alright here’s the birthday boy!” Maddie calls as she pushes the door open.

Buck slowly pulls away from Tommy. They’re not hiding it from Theo but they’re not telling him either, they want to know if its going to work between them before they really confirm anything. Tommy’s hands fall away from his waist and he straightens up as Theo bursts into the apartment. Maddie and Chim had taken him and Jee out for a birthday lunch before his party, giving Buck and Tommy plenty of time to set up after Buck and Theo had spent the morning eating pancakes and opening presents.

“Woah!” Theo gasps, stopping like someone had just slammed the brakes on as he takes in the apartment. “Its like being in the sea! This is so cool!”

“You like it?” Buck asks.

“Yeah, its awesome, daddy!” Theo runs over to give Buck a hug then lets out another gasps when he spots Tommy over his shoulder. “Dad! You’re already here!” He releases Buck and speeds towards Tommy, who scoops him up, lifting him off the floor and into a big hug.

“Hey, Theo. Happy birthday!”

“Thanks!”

“You excited for your party?” Tommy and Theo continue to chatter as Jee skips towards Buck, arms already up for a hug.

“This place looks amazing. Maybe you can help plan Jee’s next birthday.” Maddie gawks at the decorations and general ocean ambience of the room.

“Anything for my favourite niece.” Buck tickles her belly and she shrieks with laughter then wriggles to be put down so that she can kick through the balloons.

“Daddy, can I take dad’s present to my room to keep it safe for later?” Theo is tugging on his pant leg and Buck nods.

Tommy follows behind Theo, presents in hand, and Jee tears after them not wanting to miss out. Chimney follows after her to make sure she doesn’t get herself into any trouble.

“So, how’s it going with the pilot?” Maddie pumps her eyebrows at him suggestively and he scoffs and looks away.

“Fine. Good. We’re taking it kinda slow but we’re going on a proper date next week, just the two of us. Thanks for taking Theo that night by the way, it made finding an evening a lot easier.”

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t know yet, Tommy wanted to plan it so I’ve let him. I’m looking forward to it though. It’ll be nice to talk without Theo around. I love the kid but I selfishly want some Tommy time too.”

Buck chats with Maddie, Chim and Tommy joining them after a few minutes. Theo and Jee are admiring the window art and she’s clutching the new shark plush that Buck had got Theo. Soon guests are filtering in, Bobby and Athena arriving laden down with presents, then the rest of the 118 trickle in and then Theo’s friends begin to get dropped off. Once the party has really kicked into gear, kids shouting and running around, balloons flying in every direction along with a deluge of bubbles, the 118 slowly back out of the door leaving Tommy, Buck and Bobby in charge of a bunch of rabid children.

Tommy is being used as a jungle gym, kids scrambling to climb over him and swing off an outstretched arm. He stands there solid as a tree though and easily answers question after question about being a pilot. All of Theo’s friends know that Buck is a firefighter and it had become old, boring news but Tommy is fresh meat and he’s even cooler than Buck so the kids are obsessed. Theo flits around the group, lets Jee stick by his side the whole time and keeps handing her half of his food so Maddie and Chim are also going to be dealing with a kid on a sugar high tonight.

They make it through the afternoon mostly unscathed, there were a few bruised knees and one of the kids had inhaled a bubble and started panicking but other than that the afternoon went off without a hitch. The table of food had almost been cleared, just a few slices of cake left and one or two sandwiches. A few kids left with paper jellyfish that Buck had retrieved from the ceiling and Jee and Bobby had both been collected and taken home. Both of them sharing tired smiles and quiet goodbyes as they went. Theo is coming down from his sugar high but he’d had Bobby collect Tommy’s presents for him before he’d left.

So now the three of them are sat on the couch, Theo in between his parents, as he shakes the first box. His pyjamas are new, they have little helicopters on them and Buck had the foresight from experience to have him get changed after his party so that when the inevitable crash came it would be easier to get the kid to bed.

“Its not broken is it?”

“Nah kid, its fine.” Tommy is watching with rapt attention as Theo starts to rip the paper away. Much like Buck he’s not patient when it comes to opening his presents and instead dives straight in and leaving a pile of gift wrap in his wake.

“No way!” Theo shouts as the Lego set is revealed. “I wanted this one! Thank you.” He carefully slides the set onto Buck’s lap so that he can kneel up and give Tommy a hug.

The next set is met with the same enthusiasm and plans to start making the plane the next day after his tour of Harbor. Buck collects the paper to add to the trash bag he’d started earlier and then he sets about making them some food. Neither he or Tommy had managed to eat that much and Buck still owes the alpha his slices of cake. He turns around to ask them something only to find that Theo has clambered into Tommy’s lap, the two of them flicking through one of the books Buck had got for him. His heart twists and he turns back to the veg he was chopping, trying to swallow down that damn lump in his throat.

Buck is only in the kitchen for about 15 minutes but he makes his way back to the couch and he has to immediately take out his phone to snap a picture of Theo and Tommy. The book is on the couch to the side of Tommy, the alpha’s legs kicked up to rest on the coffee table in front of him and Theo had snuggled right in against his chest and the two of them are completely out. Tommy’s head is tipped back to rest against the couch but his arms are holding Theo securely so that he doesn’t slip. Theo’s broken arm is tucked against his own chest and his nose is firmly pressed against Tommy’s scent gland. Buck takes his pictures then leans against the back of the couch, hand brushing through Tommy’s hair to try and gently wake him up.

“Wha-Ev, Evan?” Tommy blinks awake slowly, grip on Theo tightening for a moment before he realises where he is.

“Hey, sleepyhead. I made dinner but I think we should just get this one to bed. He’ll be out until morning at this point.”

“You want me to wake him up?” Tommy whispers and Buck shakes his head.

“No, just, can you carry him? I wouldn’t want to move him too much so might be easier for you to do it.”

Buck feels the sting of tears as he watches Tommy slowly move to sit up, then stand with Theo held tenderly against him. They could’ve been doing this for years already, they could’ve been doing this with multiple children but Buck is also hit with a wave of gratitude that at least they can do this now. At least Tommy gets to finally carry his son to bed and tuck him in. They leave the new shark next to Theo’s well loved teddy bear and then they retreat.

“Thank you. For today. I know I already said it but that was pre party.” Buck ducks his head and shuffles his feet. “You want dinner?”

“I think it went well, although I might be covered in bruises tomorrow, those kids did not care if they kicked me at all.” Tommy’s hand finds it way to Buck’s lower back as they head back towards the kitchen and he lets himself lean into it. “And I’d love dinner, Evan.”

“Great. It’ll only need a couple more minutes and then it should be done.” Buck reluctantly drifts away from Tommy’s hand and starts to pull out some plates, focusing on the last bits of meal prep whilst Tommy shuffles around behind him.

“Do you think Theo had a good time?” Tommy asks and Buck turns to find him stacking up the plates from the dining table.

“Yeah, I’d say so. I’m glad he decided to stick with the deep sea theme after all that internet hunting we did to find all this stuff.” Buck gestures around to the decorations that are still intact and they’d left the projector on too, it was quite calming.

“I’m sure you’d have figured it out if he really had wanted to change but this was brilliant, Evan.” Tommy sets the plates next to the dishwasher and slides towards Buck, his hand landing on Buck’s waist and Buck presses into it. Neither of them are subtle and Buck finds himself standing up straighter when Tommy dips his head towards him. “Tell me if this is too far but can I scent you? It feels like this place has been overrun today and I can hardly smell either of you.”

“It’ll fade by tomorrow but sure, I don’t mind.” Buck’s heart is thumping against his ribcage as he tilts his head, leaving more room for Tommy to duck forward and press his nose against Buck’s scent gland.

He finds himself letting out a little whimper and Tommy answers with his own grunt. Buck leans closer, lets his hand slide up to cup the back of Tommy’s and hold him against Buck’s neck. He tilts his head down so that he can catch Tommy’s own scent. Both of Tommy’s hands are on his waist now, holding Buck against Tommy’s chest. He curls his other hand around Tommy’s bicep and lets sweet chocolate and whiskey wash over him. He absently brushes his wrist over the back of Tommy’s neck, a burst of vanilla and orange spiking around them and Tommy moans into Buck’s neck, his breath hot against Buck’s scent gland. Buck whines and sharp teeth scrape against it. He can feel himself hardening in his underwear, grinds up against Tommy to try and find some friction and slick starts to gather around his hole.

“Tommy.” He gasps. “Alpha.”

That seems to be the magic word that snaps Tommy out of it because he pulls away abruptly and Buck makes a panicked noise.

“Sorry. Sorry. Evan, omega. Shit.” Tommy still has hold of his waist at least, not completely backing away.

“It’s fine.” Buck chokes out, voice more rough than usual and he swallows a couple times to try and clear it. “Dinner is probably ready anyway.”

He plates up and they sit at the island, eating in silence. Its not awkward but it isn’t fully comfortable either but then Tommy reaches out and rests his hand on Buck’s thigh, squeezing once and Buck relaxes. He leans against Tommy’s shoulder and finishes off the rest of his food, eyes growing heavier by the minute.

“Do you want to stay here again? I still have the toothbrush you used last time.” 

“It would make getting to Harbor for Theo’s tour tomorrow a lot easier but don’t feel like you have to ask me, I can go home and meet you guys there.”

“Tommy.” Buck huffs a laugh. “Its fine. I want you to stay so if you want to you’re free to do so.”

“I want to.” Tommy says softly, an edge of disbelief to his voice.

“Come on then.” And Buck slides off his stool, holding his hand out to Tommy and leading him towards the bathroom.

Getting ready for bed together feels domestic as they stand side by side and brush their teeth then change into their sleepwear and slide under the covers. Buck turns onto his side to look at Tommy. He pushes his hand across the mattress and Tommy reaches out to tangle their fingers together after he turns to face Buck. It makes him feel giddy, laying there in the dark with Tommy in his bed and Buck shuffles closer until they’re almost nose to nose.

“It was really nice having you around today. Not just as Theo’s dad but as my, my guy, my partner in this. Is that too intense? Its just that I’ve been fine on my own, I’ve managed and I know Theo has always enjoyed his birthday too but its nice to share it with someone else who is just as excited as I am. I don’t know. I, I like having someone around to share the load with. And, and I’m not trying to say I wasn’t managing before or, or that I’m only interested in you because I, I need a partner or anything but-“ He’s cut off by Tommy pressing his lips to his.

“Evan. We talked about this. We’re entirely interested in each other outside of just being Theo’s parents, we know that. I know that you’re interested in me for me, as surprising as that may be-“

“Hey, its not surprising at all. You’re, well you’re hot for one thing and we have amazing sex, erm sexual chemistry.” He coughs and blushes. “But you’re also really sweet and interesting and you’re so smart, that’s also really hot by the way and if you could kiss me again to stop me from embarrassing myself I’d really appreciate it.”

Tommy laughs but indulges him, kissing him and they find themselves making out again, Buck pushing his tongue into Tommy’s mouth and Tommy’s thigh finds its way in between Buck’s. He rubs himself against Tommy, sighing against his lips and its slow and syrupy, they’re both tired but its nice. Eventually Buck has to pull back to yawn and Tommy helps to turn him over before pressing up against his back. Its nice to be held, it feels safe and warm and Buck tries not feel any sort of way about how he’s missed out on this for so long. Nobody has ever really held him before, that was always his job. But right now, in his nest with the warmth and smell of an alpha all around him it feels nice, loving. He falls asleep and dreams about a house full of warm light and softness, Theo is laughing somewhere down a corridor and Tommy’s deep voice is carrying into the kitchen where Buck is stood too. A baby is giggling close by and Buck feels happy, content.

———

“So are you going to tell me what mysterious date activity that starts at 10 at night you’re taking me to or do I just have to guess?”

Tommy had picked Buck up from the station, which felt novel to him. He’d met significant others after a shift before but something about seeing Tommy, standing there talking to Chim and Eddie as he leant against his truck and waited for Buck made him feel giddy. Hen had nudged him with her elbow, telling him to have a nice evening with raised eyebrows and a smirk before she’d walked off to her own car. Tommy had looked up at her approach then past her to lock eyes with Buck and a wide, scrunchy grin had unfurled across his face and Buck had had to kiss him about it. He’d hurried over, dropped his bag at Tommy’s feet, slid his arms around Tommy’s waist and kissed him enthusiastically. Eddie and Chim had both groaned playfully then said their goodbyes leaving Tommy and Buck to kiss against Tommy’s truck for a few minutes before Bobby had passed them and lightly told them to take it off station property. Tommy had turned a wonderful shade of pink and opened the passenger door for Buck without another word.

“Its a surprise, Evan.” Tommy grins at him before turning his attention back to the road, they’re driving out of the city though. “How was your shift?”

“Good, minor incidents and we got a full nights sleep for once. How was your day off?” Tommy isn’t due in tomorrow until midday and Buck does feel a little bad that Theo is missing out on time with his dad tonight but the timing didn’t work out between their shifts and Theo going to school.

“Yeah good. I’m working on a friend’s car at the minute, piece of work but I’m getting there.”

Buck hums as he pictures Tommy in dirty jeans and a grease stained white t shirt, no a grease stained tank top. Or even better a grease stained shirtless Tommy, all broad shoulders and chest hair and muscles on muscles. Buck’s mouth is watering. He swallows and hopes his scent isn’t billowing out through the car and giving him away. Tommy’s nose twitches though so he’s probably not that lucky.

“Is there at least food involved? We did get to eat family dinner but that was hours ago.”

Tommy chuckles. “Yeah, I’ll feed you, don't worry about it.”

They chat aimlessly as Tommy drives. At one point Buck reaches out and settles his hand on Tommy’s thigh, desperate to touch the alpha. Tommy lets one hand slide off the wheel and loosely tangles his fingers with Buck’s, thigh flexing subtly under Buck’s hand. Sunset is almost over when the roads start to get thinner and quieter but Buck is hardly paying attention, too wrapped up in his story about lima beans. Tommy is humming every now and then and even asks a question once or twice, prompting Buck to talk some more even though its probably achingly boring to Tommy. 

“Anyway, your turn. I’ve talked enough for now, what’s wrong with your friend’s car? And do you wear jeans and a tank top whilst you work on it? For no reason whatsoever, just, you know, asking.” Buck turns in his seat so that he can look at Tommy as he talks.

“I have an old pair of jeans I wear and the shirt choice is really just on the day out of a few old ones I’ve got. But for the sake of your fantasy I do have a tank top or two and when you come round to finally let me look at that Jeep of yours I’ll even stick a rag in my back pocket and make sure the top is white and dirty.” Tommy smirks at him and Buck squeaks out his dismay and simultaneous approval.

“Are you sure you don’t want any money for any problems you find. Or for your time. Or maybe some other kind of payment.” Buck’s grip on Tommy’s thigh tightens. “I’m sure we can agree on something.”

“Evan.” Tommy's smirk has slipped away and he sounds a little strangled.

“Wow.” Buck shakes his head trying to clear it. "One meeting without Theo around and I’m already trying to get in your pants. Sorry. We said slow. I’ll be good.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will be, omega.”

“Tommy!” Buck laughs.

“Sorry.” Tommy gives an unapologetic shrug and sends a scrunchy smile Buck’s way.

Chocolate and whiskey and vanilla and orange are wafting through the truck and it smells good. Its making Buck a little wet too but nothing too distracting. They’re driving along a dirt track now and Buck feels like he should maybe be concerned but instead he stares out at the greenery.

“I hope you’re not driving me out here to murder me. That would be inconvenient.” Buck finally pays attention to where they are, realising he has no idea and squinting out the window to try and see anything he recognises in the approaching twilight.

“Its kind of a hidden spot. I stumbled across it when I was out for a drive once. And I’m not going to murder you, Evan.” Tommy says tartly and Buck grins.

“Good. I’ve died once already and I wouldn’t recommend.”

“Yeah, can’t say its any fun personally.” Tommy snipes and Buck whips around to face him.

“What does that mean? Personally?”

“You’re not the only one who’s heart has given out before. Howie- Chim, saved me once, that wasn’t so bad but there was an incident, when I was serving. Its why I got discharged actually. I’ll tell you about it later? Its kind of a bummer for a date night.”

“Tommy.” Buck leans towards the other man, lets his scent tickle his nose as he turns his hand and lets his fingers rest on Tommy’s pulse.

“I’m right here. I’m fine. We both are.”

“I know. Just- I’d hate to not have you here now that I’ve got you. I’m just being incredibly selfish.” Buck tries to tease and joke and it must work because Tommy laughs.

“Well, I don’t want to go anywhere either. Not planning on dying anytime soon these days.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

They pull up to a deserted lookout, LA sprawls out below them. They’re far enough away from the worst of the air pollution that you can see some stars lighting up the sky. Buck has missed them, he’s been to so many places where the stars are bright and plentiful that they’d become a comfort to him when he’d look up at night. He’s been busy since he moved to LA, Theo and work taking up the majority of his time but sometimes he’d look up and feel a wave of sadness over the lack of stars. His gut suddenly twists with a longing for Theo because his little boy would love this view.

He realises he’s been silent for a few minutes and turns to say something to Tommy only to find the other man already watching him. Moonlight is streaming through the car window and lighting up Tommy’s face. His expression is soft and he’s looking at Buck with something akin to wonder. The only other person who has ever looked at Buck like that is Theo. The matching expression makes something funny happen in Buck’s stomach and he wants it so badly, to be a family, to spend the rest of his life with Tommy and Theo picking apart how similar they are and to wash away the years they spent apart.

“What?” He asks, tilting his head to smile up at Tommy. “There something on my face?”

“No. Just looking at you. I was hoping you’d like it out here.” Tommy reaches out and brushes a thumb over Buck’s cheek.

“I do.” Buck can feel the need to ramble bubbling up his throat but he tries to swallow it down. He wants to sit in this moment and appreciate it for a second.

“Stay here and face that way until I come and get you.” Tommy gently orders and it makes Buck shiver. He turns to face the right way and even closes his eyes for dramatic effect, earning himself a kiss on the temple for his efforts. “Good boy.” Buck manages to bite back his moan until Tommy shuts the door but damn, Tommy really can get him worked up too easily.

He opens his eyes again so that he can watch LA glitter down below and he listens to Tommy moving around in the bed of the truck. Probably setting up some blankets because what else could they be doing out here? Buck smiles to himself, bites his lip as he thinks about the effort Tommy has put in to do something more interesting than just dinner or drinks. Is his bar too low? He doesn’t care. His thoughts are interrupted by a soft tap against his window.

Tommy gives him a warm smile as he opens the passenger side door for him. Buck is lead around to the truck bed and Tommy even offers him a hand to help him up. It makes Buck blush but he takes it, lets himself be guided up into a nest of blankets and pillows, a picnic box set in the middle.

“Tommy.” He breathes. “This is.” He trails off and instead dives in and makes himself comfortable, patting the space next to him for Tommy to sit down too.

“You like it? Its not too much?” Tommy seems nervous all of a sudden and its horribly endearing to Buck so he shakes his head.

“Nope. I love it. I don’t think anybody has ever thought out a date like this for me. I was usually the one doing the planning, you know?” Buck wiggles around getting settled and misses the frown Tommy gives him.

“Really, nobody ever planned a date for you?”

“Well, Taylor made me breakfast a couple times and they’ve picked restaurants and stuff.” Buck shrugs.

“Oh.” Tommy says, finally coming to sit next to him. 

Buck holds up the blanket he’s tucked around himself and Tommy grins as he slides under it. The hot line of the alpha’s body is pressed against Buck, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. He sighs quietly and melts into Tommy’s side fully. They pop open the picnic box and Buck feels a pleasant sensation roll through him when he sees his favourite snacks neatly packed away. They talk quietly as they eat, catching up with what Theo has been up to but he doesn’t take over the conversation topics and it feels like a regular date. Tommy feeds him one or two grapes, which sets Buck off on a tangent about the Ancient Romans and Tommy listens, actually listens and asks follow up questions again. Buck knows he can be annoying and too much, too loud and enthusiastic but Tommy never seems to tire of him.

“Sorry, I’ve been talking a lot.” He says anyway because he doesn't want to drive Tommy off.

“I don’t mind. I like listening to you.” Tommy gives him a soft smile. “You and Theo are so similar, you know.”

Buck shrugs because he does know that but it feels like a slight against Tommy. That Buck’s had time with Theo that Tommy hasn’t and its manifested itself in their similarities.

“I’d say he’s inherited a lot from you too.” Buck laughs at Tommy’s dry look. “That expression for example. No six year old should be able to pull that off.” Buck turns his head to face Tommy better. “Hey, thanks again for helping with his party. I know a group of five and six year olds can be a lot.”

“We do a lot of tours at Harbor so it wasn’t so bad. And it was Theo’s party, I’d do anything for him.” Tommy turns towards him too and their noses brush. Buck goes crossed eyed trying to look at him.

“Still, I was really grateful for the help. I was also immediately grilled by other parents in our school’s group chat wanting to know who you were. Michelle wanted to know where and how I’d bagged such a fine man.” He pulls back an inch to grin at Tommy and lets his eyes drop down to his lips.

“Oh yeah? What did you tell them?” Tommy watches as Buck licks his lips.

“Told them I picked you up at the bar one night. That you were my boyfriend and not available in any way. Michelle got the hint to back off.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Tommy hasn’t taken his eyes off of Buck’s lips.

“Yeah, boyfriend.”

“Well then, if you’re my boyfriend-“ 

But Tommy gets no further because Buck eagerly dives forward and kisses him. Tommy huffs quietly but Buck can feel him smile before he returns the kiss, one hand coming up to cup the side of Buck’s neck. Tommy’s hands are so big, Buck loves them.

With a predictable boldness Buck kneels up and swings a leg over Tommy, settling into his lap without breaking their kiss. Tommy groans and Buck momentarily panics that he’s too big, too heavy but then Tommy’s hands slide down his back and land on Buck’s ass, squeezing and pulling him closer. Buck moans and Tommy swallows the sounds up, he rolls his hips and he can feel that Tommy is hard under him. Buck presses closer, chest tight against Tommy’s so that there’s hardly any room between them.

“Evan.” His name comes out muffled because Tommy hasn’t pulled away, just said the word straight into Buck’s own mouth and he laps it up enthusiastically. “Evan.” Tommy moans again and Buck whines.

“Tommy. Alpha. Come on.” Buck isn’t entirely sure what he’s asking for, he just knows he needs more. Needs Tommy. Tommy rocks his hips, meeting Buck every time. “Want you to touch me, need you. Want to touch you, wanna be good for you. Anything.”

“Fuck.” Tommy mutters and then he’s gently pushing Buck back, just enough so that there’s a little breathing room between them.

Tommy looks gorgeous, pupils blown wide and he’s panting too. He’s looking up at Buck as if he’s just as magnificent as the stars behind him and Buck loves it. He grins down at Tommy, lets his hands run down Tommy’s chest and then he pushes up under his shirt. Tommy is warm, he feels strong and solid under Buck’s thighs and palms. Buck is thrown back to that night in Peru with such startling clarity he nearly cries.

“The beach. Do you remember?” Buck doesn’t need to say when and Tommy is already nodding.

“I do. You’re still as beautiful as you were then.” Tommy is still looking up at him with that expression and Buck swallows.

“Tommy.” Buck suddenly shies away, nervous because despite what Tommy is saying Buck has changed significantly since then.

He’s older, acquired some wrinkles and he even found a grey hair the other day. He’s stronger and broader but with that loss of lean figure he’s bulkier in places that he wasn’t before. He has a stomach now, never quite recovered from carrying Theo and his chest too, still a little softer than other guys he knows. His ass at least has a little more meat on it but his hips are wider, a layer of fat on them that wasn’t there before. He swallows again and tries not to cry but there’s tears right there and he sucks in a desperate breath but its too late, Tommy has noticed.

“Evan? What- are you okay?” Tommy looks concerned, sitting up straighter and one of his large hands comes back up to cradle the back of Buck’s head.

“I, I’m not beautiful. I, my body, I don’t look like I did before. I-“ He bites his lip. “I’m, I’m soft now, I don’t, its fine. Really. But you don’t have to pretend.” He trails off and he still feels like he’s about to cry, especially with how tender Tommy’s gaze is.

“Evan.” Tommy leans forward to catch his eye and Buck reluctantly lets him. “If I could think of a word that was better than beautiful right now I’d use it to describe you. I’m not just here for your body but it is an incredible bonus and it can do amazing things. You literally carried our child, you basically made him all by yourself, and you’re so strong after everything you’ve been through. You were super hot back in Peru but you’re even hotter now somehow, I’m in awe of you constantly.”

“This is stupid, sorry.” He sniffles. “I’m not usually insecure about stuff like this, I know my body rocks, right?” He lets out a watery laugh and Tommy joins him but also nods sincerely. “I just,” Buck shifts his weight, still holding onto Tommy. “Everyone else who I’ve really cared about what they thought has met me after Theo and some parts have just never been the same, I guess. And Tommy, you’re so fucking hot and I want you so much, for your mind too obviously but also you’re sexy and I can actually feel how much I want you deep in my chest. Like, I want you in me again so bad, I-“ Buck bites his lip then speeds ahead because he’s already laying it all out. “You’re the only knot I’ve ever had and again its not the only reason I like you or anything but I want you to feel the same burning need I do and I just feel like there’s the old version of me that you remember and yeah, I know I’m good looking and my body does all this cool stuff but sometimes I don’t know.” He trails off with a shrug.

“Evan.” Tommy is holding the back of his neck, one finger brushing lightly through his hair.

“You say my name a lot.” Buck points out, leaning forward to press his forehead to Tommy’s.

“I like it. Evan feels special, it feels like mine.”

“It is yours.” Buck gives Tommy a quick kiss. “I like being Buck. Buck is fun, he’s a great firefighter and he’s a pretty great friend for the most part. Buck was a fresh start but I like being Evan with you. I like how my name sounds when you say it.”

“Evan.” Tommy almost sighs, his breath tickles Buck’s face but he doesn’t move away, and its the furthest his name has ever been from how it sounded throughout his childhood. Tommy makes his name sound precious. “I won’t lie and say I’ve never though about that night in Peru. Its like you were burnt into my memory, its so clear. How you looked and felt and the sounds you made, I’ve never forgotten any of it but I didn’t kiss you that night because I was thinking about that. I wanted to go out on a date because you’re adorable and interesting and I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to get to know you outside of the bedroom. I still want to do that. What we had was unforgettable, clearly. But you’re so much more than sex and how your body looks, you know that right?”

Buck shrugs and squeezes his eyes shut. Tommy tightens his grip on him but doesn’t say anything else, just keeps his forehead pressed to Buck’s and waits for him.

“I do. I struggled with that for a while but I’ve been working on it since, since Theo really. I think you’re adorable and interesting too by the way.”

Tommy smiles, his features warped because of the angle Buck is looking at him from but he still looks sweet.

“Don’t think I didn’t pick up on being your only knot either, I’m definitely going to revisit that at a less emotionally fraught time.” Its Tommy’s turn to plant a kiss on Buck’s lip as he squirms.

“Can’t wait.” Buck pauses and then smirks down at Tommy. “Alpha.” He almost purrs and Tommy rolls his eyes.

“Such a brat.” He teases and Buck scoffs but slumps against Tommy’s chest, too comfy in his lap to move away but its clear that anything sexy isn’t going to happen anymore.

“Thank you for tonight. I’ve missed seeing the stars. I want to bring Theo to see them one day.”

Tommy tucks his face into Buck’s neck, nuzzling there gently and Buck can feel the vibration of Tommy’s hum of acknowledgement against his skin. He melts against Tommy some more, content to fiddle with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I could fly you somewhere, take you out to a place where you can see them better.” Tommy murmurs and Buck grins into the darkness.

“Yeah? He’d love that. I’d love that. But you don’t have to fly us places, you’ll spoil him and I’ll also never be cool to him ever again if you’re constantly swooping in with a chopper.”

“Sorry.” Tommy’s voice is muffled because his face is still pressed into Buck’s neck, calmly breathing in Buck’s scent. “But maybe you need to realise that I just am cooler than you.”

Buck gasps and Tommy is laughing, his shoulders shaking, in fact his whole body, and therefore also Buck’s, is shaking. Buck ducks his head to try and hide his own grin, wraps his arms around Tommy’s neck and clings onto him, settling in for a while. He absently runs his wrist over the back of Tommy’s neck and he only realises he’s doing it when Tommy’s grip on his waist tightens, the hand cupping the back of his head slowly trailing down his back to push up under his shirt. Its not meant to lead anywhere and Buck decides to enjoy the feel of Tommy’s warm palm against his skin for what it is. Nobody has touched him for no reason for a long time and its nice.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Buck hasn’t stopped rubbing his wrist all over Tommy.

“No.” The alpha whispers, hand shifting and then his thumb is stroking Buck’s stomach.

Buck stops himself from sucking in, just lets it happen because he was enjoying it when Tommy was touching his back and he can still enjoy it now. And after a moment his mind has drifted, the touch comforting and familiar enough somehow that Buck stops thinking about his body and how Tommy sees him altogether. Instead he rests against him and lets his eyes latch onto one of the many stars high above them.

“I hope this works out.” He says softly after they’ve sat in silence for what feels like a long time but Buck’s brain always thinks silence lasts for a lot longer than it actually does.

“Me too, Evan.” Tommy sounds far away, clearly thinking about something and Buck doesn’t pry, leaves him to his thoughts.

They stay sat there on the bed of the truck for a while longer but they eventually have to head back to the city. Its the early hours of the morning by the time Tommy is dropping Buck off outside his apartment building. The parking spot outside is open so Buck turns his best puppy dog pout to Tommy and asks if he wants come in and stay for whats left of the night. Buck has realised that Tommy likes to give him what he wants because a few minutes later he’s snuggled into his nest with Tommy as they make out lazily. Lazily enough that Buck can feel himself getting sleepier and sleepier so he pulls away and slots himself against Tommy instead. With his head resting on Tommy’s chest he gets pulled under into sleep quickly and he wants this all the time. Wants Tommy in his nest, in his space constantly. He only wakes the next morning when Tommy peels himself away, kissing Buck and bringing him a coffee before he leaves for work and Buck misses him before Tommy even closes the door. 

———

The medal ceremony has been terrible, Buck feels like he’s going to explode. Well, its not been terrible, its been quite pleasant really but Buck has had to look at Tommy in his dress blues all day without being able to back him into a corner and drop to his knees. Tommy had picked Buck and Theo up that morning already dressed in his uniform and Buck had almost immediately started salivating. He hadn’t been able to tell Tommy how good he looked because Theo had charged pas and into Tommy’s arms. Theo had insisted on giving Tommy the card he’d made for him before they left and Tommy had carefully read it and praised Theo as he did, complimenting the design choices and how good his spelling was. Buck had forced himself to go and get changed and pull himself together.

The actual ceremony had been fine too, slightly boring but Buck had been able to sit next to Tommy, just a breath away from him and that chocolate and whiskey scent drifted across to tickle his nose. Buck had even ditched his blockers for a change. They weren’t on duty so his own vanilla and orange is no doubt reaching back to Tommy. Buck had felt a swell of pride when Tommy had accepted his meddle and it had taken everything in him not to wrap his arms (and legs) around the alpha when he’d joined him with his own medal.

There were photos and speeches and Buck knew that somewhere behind him Theo was bored out of his mind and probably giving Maddie trouble by not sitting still. But then its all over and there’s food and Tommy is carrying his plate as well as Theo’s as Buck loads both of them up, Theo hanging onto Tommy’s leg as he points out what he wants to eat.

“Do they have fries?” He whines before he spots the dessert table. “Can I have cake, daddy? Please, please! Dad, please can I have cake?”

Tommy looks startled by the question, glancing down at Theo before he sends Buck a look that is clearly a cry for help. Tommy hasn’t learnt how to say no to Theo yet but Buck decides to let this one slide because its a special occasion and both of his boys love cake so he gives Tommy a subtle nod.

“You can have some cake if you have this food first, okay? Dessert comes after your dinner.” Tommy raises his brows down at Theo, who nods in acceptance.

“Thank you, dad.” Theo squeezes an arm around Tommy’s leg, cast still making hugs slightly awkward affairs.

‘How about you go get us some seats, T? Next to Chris, yeah?” Their places are already set but Theo’s expression turns determined and he darts off through the crowd to go and sit down. “That was good. What you just said to him. About the cake.” Buck adds as if Tommy won’t know what he’s talking about.

“Yeah?” Tommy looks quietly pleased and Buck’s heart twists painfully.

“Yeah. Kids need reminding that not every meal can be a sugar fest.” He nudges Tommy with his elbow before he puts the last piece of food on his and Tommy’s plates and turns around.

They’re briefly joined by Chimney and then his and Tommy’s old captain, Gerrard, who seems awful. Buck bristles but Tommy taps his foot against Buck’s and he manages to bite his tongue but the guy basically just called Tommy a slur.

“What a piece of work. I can’t believe you guys had to deal with him. Did you hear that? You should’ve said something!” Buck rages as they head back to their table, Chim peeling off to join Maddie and Hen.

"I heard. Guys like that, Evan- they don’t change. And I didn’t want to cause a scene, not today, not in front of Theo. Its best left alone.” Tommy sighs.

Buck scoffs because he absolutely doesn’t agree with it being left alone but he can at least see Tommy’s point about making a scene so he sets his plate down on one side of Theo and Tommy sets his own down on the other, sliding Theo’s plate in front of the kid. Theo inhales his food like he’s been starving for a week, then pouts when Buck tells him he can’t have cake until Buck or Tommy is finished with their own food. Theo wallows and whines enough that Tommy picks him up and lets him sit in his lap whilst he finishes eating. Buck is about to slide over into Theo’s abandoned seat to join in with whatever they’re talking about but then Chris is leaning forward and asking about the newest addition to the zoo that he’d seen talked about online and Buck is distracted.

“Daddy, do you want cake?” Theo asks ten minutes later, suddenly right there next to Buck. It shows how adaptable parenting makes you when Buck doesn’t even flinch just bites his lip, thinking about how soft his stomach has felt lately and how he was going to try keto but then Tommy is right behind Theo and he’d said that Buck was beautiful and so he finds himself nodding. “Just a small slice.”

“I think they’re all the same but I’ll help you eat yours too, daddy.” Theo cheers.

“Nice try, teddy bear but one slice is enough for you.” Tommy ruffles Theo’s hair then sets off towards the dessert table.

Buck lets Theo clamber up into his lap this time, Eddie having now joined his and Chris’ conversation, and idly taps his fingers against Theo’s stomach as they wait for Tommy to come back. After five minutes Buck realises his boyfriend still hasn’t come back and that Theo is getting fidgety so he glances up at the dessert table only to find Tommy penned in by Hen and Karen. Then Tommy smirks at them and he’s moving past the pair and back towards the table. Theo sits up straighter, clearly having been eyeing Tommy the whole time and scrambles off Buck’s lap to sit back in his chair.

“Finally, dad!” Theo doesn’t roll his eyes but his entire demeanour has the same vibe.

Tommy laughs and sets a plate down in front of their son with three slices of cake on it. “Middle one is yours, kiddo.” He says as he sits down, dragging his chair to be closer to the cake.

“Alright!” Theo snatches up his fork and then goes to town.

Tommy and Theo clink their forks together with a bright laugh and then Buck watches as father and son chew and swallow their first bite with matching expressions of happiness. Tommy even closes his eyes as he savours that initial taste. It makes Buck want to do something stupid seeing how similar the two of them are, how Tommy has manifested in Theo without even being around. It makes him want another baby is what it does.

“You gonna eat, sweetheart?” Tommy asks after swallowing another bite of cake and Buck jumps. “Here.” Tommy breaks off a piece of Buck’s slice and lifts it up to Buck’s lips.

“Thanks.” Buck blushes as he accepts being fed by Tommy, knows that his scent has just spiked by the way Tommy’s nostrils flare.

Theo giggles in between them. “Daddy, you’re being fed like a baby.”

“Just making sure he eats his cake, Teddy.” Tommy gives Theo an indulgent smile as he waves another piece in front of Buck’s face.

“Wow.” Eddie murmurs from his spot across from them and Chris is smirking into his own slice of cake.

Buck shoots them both a disdainful look after opening is mouth and accepting another bite of cake. Their plate is cleared in a handful of minutes and Tommy stares longingly back at the dessert table but when Buck suggests going back he just shakes his head before eyeing Theo.

“Probably not a good idea.” He says as he ruffles Theo’s hair and Buck melts just a little.

“Can I go see Jee-Yun? She wanted to play.” Theo asks, already half out of his chair before Buck gives him the go ahead.

People start to filter out of the station once they’ve had their fill of food. Ravi produces a lunchbox from somewhere and stuffs it until it barely closes before he motors out to his car. The Wilsons have to drop Denny off at a sleepover and Bobby and Athena head out too.

“Well, we’re going to get going too but we thought perhaps Theo wanted to come over tonight? Jee was asking about a cousins sleepover, weren’t you?” Maddie prods her daughter who nods quickly, hands clasped together as she looks up at Theo.

“Yeah! We can watch Moana and Belle and have cookies. Please Theo.” Jee widens her eyes and almost pouts and Buck is impressed.

Theo glances up at Buck and Tommy. “Can I go?”

“Sure you can. Who can say no to Jee?” Buck squeezes his arm gently and Theo gives him a small smile.

“Okay.” He says but he seems far from enthusiastic so Chim scoops Jee up and starts to head to the car.

“You alright, T?” Buck asks quietly and he nods before peeking at Tommy.

"I wanna go but, but I don’t wanna miss out on a sleepover with dad either.” Theo chews his lip and Buck sees Maddie coo silently.

“Aw, hey.” Tommy kneels down in front of Theo so that they’re on the same level. He reaches out to grasps Theo’s hand in his large one. “You won’t be missing out on anything, okay? Your dad and I are probably just going to go to bed super early because we’re old and boring.” Theo giggles. “And I’ll still be there tomorrow for our trip to the beach. I’ll come and pick you up like I did this morning and we can get breakfast out as an extra treat, how about that?”

“Alright. Can we get pancakes? Please.” Theo grins up at Tommy.

“I’m sure we can.” Tommy squeezes his hand and then stands up as he turns to Buck. “Can we, Evan?”

“Of course.” He can’t say no to either of them.

“How about you say bye to your dad and maybe Tommy can carry you out to our car, Theo? That way he can give you a big hug to say goodbye right there.” Maddie suggests and Buck frowns at her.

“Okay! Bye daddy, I’ll see you tomorrow! Will you text me goodnight?”

“You know I will, baby.” Buck swoops down and cuddles Theo close, pressing his nose into his curls and taking a deep inhale. He brushes his cheek over the top of Theo’s head and holds him tight. “And if your arm is sore you tell Aunt Maddie. She’ll have something to help.”

“Alright. Its been getting way better though. I promise!”

“I believe you.” Buck presses a kiss to Theo’s head, then his nose and his cheeks, again and again until Theo is laughing loudly and batting him away. “Okay, okay. Bye. Be good. And no tree climbing.”

Theo does roll his eyes this time but Buck lets him get away with it.

“You ready to go? We have to get your bear from the car, I just remembered.” Tommy says as he holds his arms out for Theo and the kid gasps.

“Yes, yes! We have to get him or I won’t be able to sleep.”

With a wave Theo and Tommy are heading out too to grab Theo’s overnight bag from Tommy’s truck and hand both him and the bag over to Chim.

“So, what was that about? Sending them off like that?” Buck rounds on Maddie as soon as Theo and Tommy are out of earshot.

“Number one it was giving them a little bit of time together. I still can’t believe how attached he’s gotten so fast. Tommy must really be something, huh?” 

There’s a gleam in Maddie’s eye that Buck isn't sure he likes. He’d told her about their last date, that Tommy took him stargazing. And she knew that Tommy had made the effort to still try and get to the wedding despite being on call and she’s probably heard Theo’s countless tales of his birthday party, the tour round Harbor station and all the other little outings they’ve been on. Buck also accidentally let it slip that whenever Tommy stays over, which has only been maybe five times, he’s slept next to Buck in his bed, in his nest. He also might have complained that they’ve still not done much more than some dry humping and blowjobs because Theo has either interrupted them or like on their stargazing date things had taken a turn.

“Yeah, he is. He’s great with him, there’s not much to dislike. But you know that, you like Tommy.”

“Uh huh, he’s a nice guy. I also think you guys might need a night alone. A night without interruptions. Just alone, together, you know.” Maddie pumps her eyebrows just in case Buck hadn’t managed to pick up what she was implying.

“Did you really just offer to take your nephew for the night so that my boyfriend could fuck me again?”

“Ew, Buck. Don’t say it like that.” She squawks, hand flying out to slap at his arm. “But I suppose yes, I did. You need it. You both do.”

“Well, I’m not going to argue with that. The things I want him to do to me, Mads.”

“And that’s enough of that. Come on. Lets not keep you waiting.”

Buck almost skips out to the car where Tommy is leant against the open door of Maddie’s car talking to Theo and Jee-Yun. Chimney is closing the trunk, clearly having just put Theo’s bag in there. Buck slides in next to Tommy, wrapping his arms around the alpha’s waist as he leans in to wave to Theo, who is now clutching his teddy. One of Tommy’s arms lands over Buck’s shoulders as he ruffles Theo’s hair with the other.

“Alright, you have fun. If you want to call us you can anytime but we’ll definitely phone you later to say goodnight.”

“Okay! Uncle Chim says we can have popcorn whilst we watch the movie!” Theo gives them both a sunny smile as Jee cheers from the other side of the car.

“That sounds awesome.” Tommy smiles down at Theo, lifting his arm away from the car so that he can carefully shut the door.

“Bye, T.”

“See you later, kid.”

“Bye! Bye!” Theo happily waves as the car pulls out and Buck and Tommy wave back until they’re out of sight.

“So, do you still want to come back to mine?” Tommy twists his head to look at Buck, they’re way too close like this but Buck doesn’t care.

“Yes!” Buck agrees far too quickly and cringes at himself but Tommy looks pleased. “I already have my bag in the car and I want to see your place.”

“Okay then, lets go.” Tommy guides him towards the car and Buck hops in.

Tommy’s house is a little farther out from the 118 than Buck’s apartment. Tommy told him that he’d got it right before he’d transferred and he’d been working on his recertification so he knew he was aiming for Harbor so he’d picked a house directly in between, just in case the transfer didn’t work out. Its a nice neighbourhood. Buck sees a few kids playing and riding their bikes and there’s someone watering their lawn a few houses down from Tommy’s. The house is one level, its not tiny but not huge either. Buck already likes it and he hasn’t even got out the car yet. Tommy beats him to the backseat and grabs Buck’s bag for him as they head into the house.

“Woah.” Buck stops in the doorway, Tommy nearly slamming into him. “This is nice. So bright.” Buck trots forward into the living room, making a beeline for Tommy’s bookshelf.

“Yeah, I like how airy it is. I guess its a little big for one person but it was a good deal, needed a lot of work doing but it’s not perfect yet. I’d like to remodel the kitchen but it’d take a lot of time.” Tommy is still clutching Buck’s bag in the entrance.

“Its still nice.” Buck says as he moves towards said kitchen.

Its not as big as his own but plants line the window and the cabinets are a nice dark green. Sunlight filters in and Buck just knows that this area is golden in the mornings. He runs a hand over the counter, there’s not tons of space with their being no island but he could work with it. Then he catches his thoughts and reels them back in quickly.

“Bathroom is down here and the spare bedroom is next to it. This is supposedly also a bedroom but I think its just a glorified closet.” Tommy opens the door on the other side of the bathroom and Buck gets a peek at an organised mess. “The master is opposite and there’s an en suite in there.” Tommy seems a little shy, a little uncertain and Buck wants to eat him up.

“Are we leaving my bag in there?” He asks, leaning into Tommy’s space and watches the other man’s confidence kick up a notch.

“If that’s what you want.” Tommy sets Buck’s bag down by the door before he takes his hand. “I know he’s not staying tonight but I want to at least show you this. I, ah, its always been a guest bedroom but I wanted to make it more to Theo’s taste if he’s going to be here more often than any other guests I might have, you know.” Tommy squeezes past Buck and tugs him towards the spare bedroom. “I know he’ll prefer his own room and I’m happy to hang out at your place if that’s what he’d want but yeah, like I said, for the times he might stay here I wanted to spruce it up a bit.”

Tommy opens the door slowly then steps in, pulling Buck in behind him. He’s met with another bright room, the window overlooking the backyard. There’s a bookshelf next to it that’s two thirds full of children’s books. There’s a couple stuffed toys laying on top of the made up bed, a plane and an octopus, which make Buck smile, and the sheets a similar blue to Theo’s cast. Some shelving runs down one side of the room, aviation prints hanging above it, something that was probably already there but Buck spots some other prints laying on top of the shelving like they’re waiting to be hung. 

“He could have some stuff here if he wanted. The drawers there are mostly empty. I got some books for him I thought he might like that he didn’t already have and there’s some games in a couple of those baskets but the rest are free for him or you to fill up. I got some art prints he might prefer too but thought I’d ask fir-“ 

Buck decides to cut off Tommy’s rambling by kissing him.

“You.” Kiss. “Are.” Kiss. “So.” Kiss. “Thoughtful." Kiss.

“Oh.” Tommy blinks at him, hands landing on Buck’s hips because Buck is clutching onto the lapels of Tommy’s jacket like a lifeline.

“He’ll love it. But he’d love it anyway because its your house but sure, he’ll love it even more because you did this for him. He-“ Buck nearly says Theo loves Tommy but he doesn’t want to put words in their son’s mouth. “This is so sweet, Tommy. You’re always doing such nice, kind things for us.”

“Its nothing.” Tommy looks away, trying to shrug it off and Buck clings tighter.

“Its not nothing. Its everything. I, we, its never been like this before. With one of my partners and I know this is different because you’re actually his dad but tell me you wouldn’t have made this effort even if you weren’t his biological father.”

“I-” Tommy’s eyes are wide as he stares at Buck.

“Exactly. You can’t because you would do something this sweet. You’re incredible.” Buck murmurs the last part, eyes locked on Tommy’s lips now.

“I haven’t shown you the garden yet, the tour isn’t over.” Tommy points out but he licks his lips.

“Show me later.” Buck says and then they’re crashing together. He moans loudly when he finally gets a taste of Tommy after waiting all day. He fists the fabric in his hands and yanks Tommy even closer. The grip on Buck’s hips tightens and he hopes Tommy leaves some bruises there. “Show me your bedroom.”

“Sure.” Tommy says before diving back in for another kiss.

Tommy walks Buck backwards across the hall and into his bedroom. The door is closed behind them and Buck surges forward to press Tommy back against it. He slips a leg between Tommy’s thighs and whines when he feels that Tommy is already hard. Buck pulls away panting.

“You look so hot. In your uniform. Been wanting to get you out of it all day.” He immediately starts the process, yanking Tommy’s tie off and throwing it to the side.

“You too. You’ve looked so handsome.” Tommy’s hands slide from Buck’s hips up to untuck his shirt and then warm palms are hot against his skin.

“Uh huh.” Buck dives back in for another kiss as he pushes Tommy’s jacket off, leaving it crumpled on the floor.

Buck’s jacket follows and then his tie. Two pairs of shoes go flying and Buck’s fingers scrabble to undo Tommy’s shirt. He helps to peel it off as Tommy pushes him backwards towards the bed. The backs of Buck’s knees hit it after a moment and he lets himself fall backwards. He leans back on his elbows and looks up at Tommy through his lashes.

“Fuck.” Tommy mumbles.

Buck bounces back up to undo Tommy’s belt and unzip his pants. He hesitates before he pulls them down, looking up at Tommy and watching the alpha swallow and squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.

“Can I? Please, alpha.” He whines and Tommy shudders.

“Shit, Evan. Yes.” Buck wastes no time and takes Tommy’s underwear too so now he’s staring at Tommy’s dick.

“Oh, I’ve missed this.” Buck says, startled by how true it is. He licks up the underside of Tommy’s cock before he suckles at he head for second, lapping up the pre cum already there.

“Evan.” Tommy bites out. “Omega.” Buck pulls off his dick and blinks up at him eagerly.

“More?” He asks and instead of answering Tommy leans down and physically moves Buck up the bed. He gasps and whines, slick leaking from his hole in earnest now.

“Need these off, now.” Tommy growls, already working Buck’s shirt open and tossing it aside.

Buck’s pants come off and he lays before Tommy and tries to not squirm as he waits for Tommy to do something. The alpha just stares though, mouth slack as his eyes travel up and down Buck’s body. Buck whimpers and Tommy reaches out to trail gentle fingers down Buck’s stomach. He sucks in automatically, as if he’s withdrawing from the touch and Tommy frowns.

“Kiss me.” Buck blurts and Tommy looks up at him. “Kiss me.” Buck demands, more confident now.

He spreads his legs to invite Tommy to come and rest in between them and his boyfriend groans. Soon Buck has the comforting weight of Tommy over him and his tongue in his mouth. He wraps his legs around Tommy’s waist and sighs happily. Tommy kisses down his neck, Buck tightens his hold and he tugs on Tommy’s hair to bring him back up to his mouth.

“Do you have a condom?” He asks against Tommy’s lips, rocking his hips to try and chase some friction.

“I have more than one.” Tommy teases. “And you’ll have to let go of me if you want me to get them.”

“I kinda want you just like this, just in me. And I’m on birth control but after last time.” Buck cuts himself off with a moan when Tommy’s finger slips inside suddenly. “Fuck, Tommy.”

“After last time we should be careful.” Tommy finishes for him, smirking down at him as he lazily thrusts his finger in and out. 

“Yeah. No siblings for Theo right now.” He nods before tossing his head back and trying to push back onto Tommy’s finger, he wants to be full.

“Right now?” Tommy asks, head cocked to the side as he looks down at Buck with keen interest.

“Yeah, if this works out I wanna have another baby. Want you to fill me up properly and knock me up. You’re the only one, you know.” Buck knows he’s babbling but if he doesn’t have Tommy in him right this very moment he’s going to lose his mind. “Only knot. Ever. Not had another since, since you. Yours. Was too good. Literally, too good and got me pregnant first time. God, Tommy. Need you. Now.”

Tommy has worked another finger in whilst Buck has been running his mouth and now a third joins the other two.

“Evan. Omega. Are you being serious? You want my knot again?” Something has switched in Tommy’s voice and its making Buck shiver with anticipation, slick flowing out of him like a river at this point and probably coating Tommy’s fingers and hand.

“So serious, alpha. Want to feel it, want to learn how to take it again. Please.”

“Shit, its like you’re in heat, sweetheart. Desperate for it, aren’t you?”

“For you, just for you. Not anyone else. Please.”

“Okay, alright sweetheart.” Tommy brushes a hand through Buck’s curls, twisting one around his finger before he moves away.

Buck whines and panics, legs tightening around his alpha so that he can’t leave. Tommy shushes him, strokes through his hair again.

“Its alright. I’m not going anywhere, baby. Just getting that condom. Want to fill you up so badly, I do, but we can’t. Not right now.”

“I know but one day, right? You’ll give me another baby? Won’t take you long, alpha.” Buck gazes at Tommy, lips perfectly pouted and Tommy groans.

He curses again and manages to get enough room to pull away and rifle through his bedside drawer. Buck tries not to think about how often Tommy might be hunting for condoms to have them so nearby because right now he wants to be the only one for Tommy, wants to be the best guy, best omega he’s ever had. Wants to let Tommy fill him up and breed him and keep him forever. He grumbles at the packet Tommy withdraws but they really can’t be too careful with how easy it was last time.

“Hurry.” Buck whines, spreading his legs then deciding to grip his own thighs to keep them open and ready for Tommy to slip in between.

“So impatient.” Tommy tuts but he’s back where he’s supposed to be again, leaning in to give Buck a quick kiss.

“Been waiting so long. Need to know if I just made Peru up. It was so good, think about it all the time. Think about it during my heats. Want to feel you again.” Buck pants into Tommy’s mouth, tastes Tommy's moan.

“Me too. Think about it all the time.” Tommy kneels up to take Buck in. “You felt so good, took me so well, didn’t you?”

“Uh huh. Want to do it again. Tommy, alpha, please.” Buck isn’t above begging but thankfully Tommy doesn’t make him.

Buck blinks up at the ceiling to gather himself and then Tommy is right there pressing against his hole. Buck moans and pulls his legs impossibly wider. Tommy slides in slowly, eyes darting between watching himself disappear inside of Buck and making sure Buck is okay. Buck has to breathe through it, its been so long and Tommy is so big and he fills Buck up so much but it feels perfect. Once Tommy has stopped pushing in Buck releases his thighs so that he can wrap himself around his alpha. He digs his heels into Tommy’s ass to try and get him to slide even deeper and he pulls Tommy down to wrap his arms around his shoulders. His fingers dig in, probably leaving marks but Buck doesn’t care, he needs Tommy closer, needs him to move.

“You doing okay?” Tommy whispers, his breath ghosting over Buck’s skin and making him shiver. He feels himself relax and Tommy sinks just a little deeper. Buck sighs and throws his head back. “Evan.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Great. You feel incredible. Love being full, want you to fill me up.”

Tommy finally snaps his hips and Buck gasps, scrambling to hold on. After that Tommy sets a slow, tortuous pace and Buck finds himself near tears. His back arching off the bed before he looks up at Tommy, who is already watching him. The alpha leans down to kiss him and Buck feels the tears spill over. He feels Tommy’s dick dragging in and out of him and he’s missed it, missed Tommy. He rocks his hips to meet Tommy’s thrusts, encouraging him to go faster but Tommy refuses and instead he reaches up to thread his fingers with Buck’s, pinning his hand to the bed.

“Tom-my.” He whines. “Faster, harder, need it.” He begs but Tommy shakes his head.

“Next time, I promise. But now, I, I just, its been too long. I want to savour this, you, omega.” Buck clenches around Tommy, he’s never usually got off on being called omega before, he’s never really cared but the sound of it coming from Tommy’s lips sends Buck’s heart racing. “You like that, me calling you omega? Its not usually my thing but, fuck Evan-“

“Only like it when you say it. Like Evan, you make it sound good.” Buck squeezes Tommy’s hand.

They get lost in it for a while, the slow movement of their bodies, the way Buck can feel every inch of Tommy as he moves. The weight of Tommy over him and how his scent is all Buck can smell, it surrounds him, tangling up with Buck’s own scent. They smell good together. Buck’s legs are shaking and he lets out one particularly guttural sound and Tommy suddenly picks up the pace, suddenly pounding into him as if a switch as been flipped and Buck nearly screams.

“Yes! Yes, alpha. Yes.” Buck can feel the wave building in his stomach, his whole body tingling and he relaxes into, trusting Tommy to take him through it. His orgasm crashes over him and its been a while since he’s had one like this, one that seems to wipe him out, makes his legs shake.

"So good for me, taking it so well. Look so beautiful when you come.” Tommy is murmuring lowly and Buck can feel himself breaking out into goosebumps.

“Keep going. Want you to come inside, want you to fill me up. Come on, Tommy. Fuck me.” Buck pulls his boyfriend into a deep kiss, keeping hold of his hand and threading his free one in the short hair at the nape of Tommy’s neck.

After a minute Tommy’s thrusts become irregular and Buck can feel his knot swelling, how it catches against his rim and he squeaks into their kiss. Tommy rips himself away and he’d have pulled out but Buck drives his heels into Tommy’s ass keeping him close.

“No, no I- my knot. Can’t. You didn’t- say if you wanted before we. Shit.” Tommy is panicking and Buck cups his cheek after rubbing his wrist against Tommy’s mating gland.

“Ssh, ssh. Its okay, alpha. I’m okay, its fine. I want it. Knot me. You can knot me.” He makes sure to look directly into Tommy’s eyes and speaks slowly and clearly. 

Tommy hesitates but when Buck nods he fucks back into him, his knot still inflating and after a moment he can’t pull out fully anymore. Buck clings onto him and babbles out a string of encouragement and reassurances that Buck wants Tommy’s knot, wants to be tied together, wants to feel a knot again only if its Tommy’s. That sends the alpha over the edge and Buck wishes he could feel Tommy come inside him, let his alpha fill him up until it takes but they can’t right now. Maybe in the future though. Buck is hopeful.

“Shit are you sure you’re okay with this?” Tommy asks after his brain seems to have come back online. He’s looking at Buck with wide, worried eyes and Buck melts.

“Well, can’t really back out now, can I?”

“Evan!”

“I was joking! Tommy, look at me. I wanted it. I wasn’t just spewing dirty talk earlier, I really did want to take your knot again. I’m not complaining. Trust me.” Tommy stills. He stares at Buck and bites his lip. “Trust me.” He repeats and then Tommy deflates with a sigh.

“Okay. I just, I don’t want to force anything onto you. I wanted to go at your pace.”

“Tommy, if we were going at my pace I’d have let you fuck me the night you kissed me again.”

“You’re something else, you know that right?” Tommy grins down at him and Buck yanks at him until he can feel Tommy’s full weight pinning him down into the mattress.

“Your house is nice.” Buck runs his palms up and down Tommy’s back. The alpha nudges his nose into the crook of Buck’s neck and settles in, seeming to understand that Buck wants to feel blanketed by him. “Theo is going to love it here. I wish he had a yard at home but LA housing is insane. And he’ll love that room. You didn’t have to do all that, he’d have liked being here just to spend time with you.”

Tommy hums and rubs his nose against Buck’s neck. “Really? He loves your apartment so much, that’s his home and he loves his room. I knew if I wanted him to enjoy spending time here he’d need to feel comfortable and it would have to at least feel a little like his room, his home, you know?”

Buck doesn’t know. In fact he can feel himself frowning a bit, which feels illegal to do after such a good orgasm. Does Tommy not get that Theo wants to spend time at his house because he wants to hang out with Tommy, his dad. Tommy could’ve lived in a hovel and neither Theo or Buck would’ve cared beyond maybe inviting him round to theirs on a more regular basis but they still would’ve come round just to spend time together.

“Okay.” He drags the word out a bit as he frowns up at the ceiling. “Here can be home too though. He, we all want for us to feel like a family, right?”

“Yes.” Tommy says immediately and Buck relaxes into the mattress.

“So, it doesn’t matter if its here or our apartment, Theo will feel at home because we’re with him.” Buck scratches at the back of Tommy’s head.

“Well, he’s not even seen the place yet so lets see, I guess.” Tommy mutters into Buck’s neck and Buck frowns but lets it go. “Should we tell him soon? That we’re dating?”

“I think he might know already.” Buck admits. “Or if he doesn’t he wants us to be. Which I get, he wants his parents to be together.” He shifts slightly and feels Tommy’s knot tug a little and he bites down on a moan. “That’s normal for a kid, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Tommy nods, his thumb rubbing over Buck’s waist.

“He wanted to look up places for a date night the other day, said he was looking for Grandpa Bobby but something tells me he was lying.” Buck chuckles.

“He asked me if I thought you looked pretty earlier. And when I said that you looked very handsome in your uniform he insisted that I should tell you.”

“Well consider me told.” Buck smirks as he reaches down to squeeze Tommy’s ass. “But you can tell me again later.”

“You’re insatiable.” Tommy grins into Buck’s neck though, tongue darting out to lick him. Buck jolts, both of them moaning quietly when Tommy’s knot keeps them tied tightly together. “I never answered you earlier.”

“Hm?” Buck lets himself be rolled onto his side so that he’s facing Tommy.

“You, ah, you said about wanting another baby earlier?” Tommy twists one of Buck’s loose curls around the end of his finger.

“Oh.” Buck flushes a bright red, heart pounding suddenly.

“Was that a heat of the moment thing or do you, would you actually want another child in the future?” Tommy looks nervous and he’s not quite meeting Buck’s eyes as he asks.

“Erm, I, I would. Like to have another baby. With you. I love Theo and I miss when he was so small. I know another baby would be different but er, yeah. I’d really, really like another. I thought that perhaps it wasn’t going to happen for a while, none of my other partners seemed all that keen to have more kids. Or kids at all. And if you don’t want to its not a dealbreaker.” Buck hurries to add because he doesn’t know where Tommy stands and he wants Tommy more than another baby because even though he really, really wants another child he’d let that go to have Tommy and Theo together in his life forever.

“I-“ Tommy swallows and finally looks at Buck. “I’ve barely been a parent to Theo, I know. I’ve not had long but so far, he’s been pretty great. And I know kids and babies are different and living with them 24/7 is also different to what I’m doing right now. So it would be a while off and I know that a baby wouldn’t be a replacement for the time I didn’t get with Theo but I’d like to do that part with you one day, if you’d want me.” Buck’s leg tightens around Tommy, pulling him closer.

“Of course I would.” Buck leans forward to give Tommy a slow, gentle kiss. “Its hot to think about in bed too, isn’t it?” He pokes at Tommy’s side and the alpha laughs.

“Yeah, yeah it is. When you sent me those photos I felt so bad about finding them hot when we barely knew each other but you did look beautiful.” Tommy admits, a sly grin unfurling across his face.

Buck flushes again. “I, I have more. If you want to see. I, erm, I thought I wouldn’t like how I looked but, ah, I did. Or well, most days. It was, well.” He stutters over his words and trails off, wanting to squirm away from Tommy because he doesn’t want to admit how many nights he spent thinking of the alpha’s knot when his sex drive had hit an all time high.

“You looked good, really good.” Buck can feel the dampness of slick starting to gather where they’re joined despite Tommy’s knot beginning to go down and Tommy must notice too because his eyes widen a little. “Are you into that, Evan? The idea of me knocking you up again?”

“Fuck.” He hisses, hips rolling as he hardens and Tommy never really went went soft and he’s still inside. “Yes. Yeah, I am. Wanna have your baby again, alpha.” Buck ducks his head so he can look at Tommy through his lashes.

“Evan.” Tommy gasps when Buck clenches around him.

“Want you to stuff me full until it takes and this time you can watch me, fuck,” Tommy thrusts into him, “watch me get all heavy with your child. Tommy!” Teeth scrape over Buck’s mating gland and he shudders, then he rolls them over so he’s sat astride Tommy and he grins down at him. “You’re gonna need another condom, big guy. I’m not done with you yet.”

Chapter Text

Buck hadn’t purposefully meant to never mention what’s going on with him and Tommy to Bobby but he’d gotten so used to only bringing up his relationships when he needed advice that it had slipped his mind. Its not until he’s packing up his overnight bag at the station that it comes up. He’s the last one in the locker room after having spent a few extra minutes in the shower and then on his hair. He’d also wasted time deciding whether he even wanted to do his hair because Tommy seemed to enjoy when his curls come loose but in the end he’d decided to stick with his usual routine. He’s tossing his toiletries into his bag when Bobby makes his way into the locker room.

“Oh, hey Cap.” He throws over his shoulder with a smile as he gathers up the last of his things, zipping his toiletry bag shut and closing his locker before turning around.

“You were really on your game this shift and I’m not just talking about your cooking.” Bobby sounds serious so Buck gives him his full attention.

“Uh thanks.” He squints at Bobby, trying to decide if he’s actually in trouble despite Bobby’s words.

“Now,” Bobby takes a deep breath. “Buck I don’t say this often enough but you’ve come a really long way. You're not the same impulsive hothead who walked through those doors seven years ago.”

Buck ducks his head, feeling a warm glow of pride zipping through him. “Wow, has, uh, has it really been that long?”

“It has.” Bobby gives him a slow nod and a small smile.

“Well, here’s to seven more.” Buck replies with a grin of his own.

“Yeah.” Bobby nods again and something in Buck lights up with worry but he pushes it aside when Bobby carries on speaking. “You going to see Tommy?” He nods down at Buck’s bag and Buck tries not to blush.

“Ah, yeah. Yeah. Theo was invited to a sleepover so its just the two of us tonight. Listen, I, I know we haven’t really talked about him-“

“What’s there to talk about?” Bobby asks with a shrug and another smile. “Tommy’s good people, he’s good for you. And for Theo.”

“How do you know that?” Buck thinks he does well to keep his voice even.

“Because we haven’t had to talk about it.” Bobby laughs a little and Buck snorts too.

“Still, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that he was Theo’s dad before Theo blurted it out to everybody. I think you knew but I should’ve made it a point to tell you first.”

“You didn’t have to, I wasn’t offended.” Bobby shrugs again.

“I know but.” Buck trails off, still clutching his bag. “Did you already know?”

“Yeah.” Bobby inclines his head. “I always thought something about Theo smelt familiar and not just because of you. I didn’t know Tommy for too long so I couldn’t quite place it but once I saw the three of you in one room and I was really looking at Theo? Kinda hard to miss it, kid.”

“He really looks like him, doesn’t he?” Buck feels his chest puffing out with pride, which is ridiculous because its something that was entirely out of his control.

“He does. Theo seems to love him.”

“Yeah. He thinks Tommy is amazing. I’m worried about what will happen when the shine wears off for both of them though.”

“Who’s to say it will?” Bobby asks and Buck blinks at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Your kids constantly surprise you. That never stops. How often have you looked at Theo and thought he was incredible?”

“Too many to count.” Buck softly admits.

“Exactly. To Tommy, Theo’s shine is never going to disappear just like it hasn’t with you. Things will be hard sometimes, I don’t doubt it but Tommy’s good, steady. He’ll work it out. And you’ll be around to help. Just like he’ll help you.”

“You’re sure about him then?”

“You seem to be.” Bobby points out and Buck ducks his head again to try and hide how wide his grin is. “Good night, Buck.” 

Bobby starts to head out and Buck finds himself speaking before he’s even aware he’s had a thought. “Uh, hey Cap?”

“Yeah?” Bobby turns back with a questioning look.

“Thanks. You, you know. For everything.”

“It’s been my pleasure, kid.” Bobby says seriously before he heads out, leaving Buck alone in the locker room.

The whole conversation felt somewhere between weirdly formal and final and their usual easy tone. Maybe Bobby was just tired after a long shift. Buck gathers up his stuff, zips his bag shut and throws it over his shoulder before he makes his way to his car. He’s excited to spend an evening alone with Tommy when he bumps into a ghost by one of the trucks. Buck is far less excited to take a detour to Eddie’s instead before he gets to spend the night devouring every inch of Tommy.

———

Apparently Eddie’s situation with Kim gets even weirder because he calls Buck in to talk to Chris. Buck groans as he picks up the phone, Tommy handing it to him because Buck refused to move from where he was splayed across Tommy’s chest.

“This better not be something stupid.” He mutters as he answers the call and then regrets saying that out loud because what Eddie is spewing is far from stupid.

Tommy is close enough that he hears the whole thing almost as clearly as Buck does and he winces at the appropriate times and a worried frown creases his forehead when Eddie starts talking about Christopher and Texas.

“What does he think you’re going to be able to do that he can’t?” Tommy asks as Buck reluctantly peels himself out of bed. 

“I’m not really sure. Convince Chris to stay somehow but also Chris isn’t a little kid anymore, he knows what’s best for him.” Buck is already worried about what on earth he’s going to say. “Hopefully Theo doesn’t mind leaving his sleepover early and its not exactly going to be a barrel of laughs at the Diaz house either.”

“I,” Tommy starts from where he’s sat up in bed. “I could pick him up. Let him have his time there and then we could hang out here for a bit or, or at yours, if you’d prefer.” Tommy looks incredibly nervous and Buck stops short as he yanks his jeans up.

Theo hasn’t been to Tommy’s yet, there’s hardly been time between the medal ceremony and now and Buck isn’t sure how he feels about abandoning Theo to a new place without his supervision or the support of him being around. Theo adores Tommy though and Buck knows that Tommy would die before letting anything happen to their son. And that he’d call Buck if he was needed. Tommy is fiddling with his sheet and his eyes are darting between Buck and the door like he’s planning to make some grand escape from his own house if Buck stays silent for a moment longer.

“Or not. If you don’t think we’re ready for that. That’s fine. Honestly. I, I don’t- if you’d prefer-“

“Tommy.” Buck says gently, shuffling over to place his hands on Tommy’s shoulders. “I think you’ll be able to manage a child, our child, for a few hours. I trust you.” And Buck knows, down to his bones, that he means it. He trusts Tommy.

“Oh.” Tommy looks surprised for some reason. “Right. I, I trust you too.” He looks a little startled and Buck finds it stupidly endearing.

“I’ll call Georgia in the car, she runs in the morning so she’ll be up already. I’ll let her know you’re coming instead. She knows you’re his dad so it’ll be fine. Don’t let her convince you to join her run club, you’ll feel like a piece of meat.” Buck laughs at Tommy’s scoff. “He’ll probably have breakfast there but you have stuff for lunch, right? If not then-“

“He liked those sandwiches from the deli near here. I remember.” Tommy gives him a scrunchy smile as they both recall how Theo had practically inhaled his sandwich when Tommy had brought them both lunch one weekend. “And tell me again how much dessert is too much?” He jokes as Buck rolls his eyes.

He leans in for a kiss before he drops his hands from Tommy’s shoulders and continues getting dressed. He texts Tommy the correct address and promises to call them later.

“Hopefully it won’t be too long but I don’t know. I don’t know how bad it all is but I’ll try and let you know. But I’ll call on my way back, I’ll come back here?” Buck resists the urge to say he’ll come home.

“Sure, we’ll be here. Or at the park a few blocks over but yeah, come back here.” Tommy gives him another peck from his spot in the doorway and Buck mentally curses Eddie for yanking him away from this. Then immediately feels bad about it because Eddie seems to have imploded his own life.

Buck really thinks that after he’s arrived at the Diaz household and has assessed the situation. He’s not really any help, which he feels terrible about but its as much Chris’ call as it is Eddie’s in this mess but Buck is sure Eddie won’t want to hear that. Buck watches as Eddie lets Chris go and he thinks if it were him and Theo he’d be doing anything, anything, to get him to stay. Or he’d be following Theo if he really had to go. Buck would be on the next flight out to Texas or he’d drive there, take a bus. Hell, he’d even walk because he wouldn’t be able to bare being apart from Theo like that. But Theo is still a kid, practically a baby in Buck’s eyes so maybe he’s biased and maybe that means he has no idea what he’s talking about. Maybe its some weird omega thing but Buck doubts that because he’s pretty sure he’d do it for Theo no matter his designation.

He doesn’t get much longer to dwell on it because then he gets the call about Bobby. Bobby’s house had burnt down and he’d had a heart attack and he was currently laying in the hospital fighting for his life. Buck feels his foundations wobble dangerously. He and Eddie hurry over to the hospital and wait it out with Chim and Hen. Before he settles down for the wait Buck dips aside to call Tommy.

“Evan, hey.” Tommy says and Buck can hear the joy in his voice, he feels terrible that he’s about ruining it.

“Tommy.” He chokes out.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Buck can hear Tommy moving around. “Hey, Teddy I’m just gonna be out here alright, you keep watching your show and I’ll be right back.” Buck hears Theo’s chirpy okay in the background and closes his eyes. “Alright, what’s going on sweetheart?”

“It’s- it’s Bobby.” Buck didn’t realise how scared he was until he forced the words out. “Last night, he, he had a heart attack. Someone burnt down his house. Its gone. All of it.”

“Shit.” Tommy curses. “Do you want me to come over there? Are you okay? Do you know how Bobby is doing?”

“No, stay with Theo. I don’t want him to know about this right now. I don’t want him to be upset. I, he.” Buck takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Thank you. I- Bobby is still asleep, they’re waiting for him to wake up. Everyone is here so I’m not alone. I’ll call you when we know more.” Buck shoves down the desperate urge to ask Tommy to come and hold him because he really wants to feel safe in those arms right now. Its the safest place he’s ever been but their son needs his dad, Buck needs to know that that safe place is going to harbour Theo until Buck can be there too.

“Are you sure, Evan?” Tommy sounds concerned and Buck can picture the frown he’s probably currently twisting his face into.

“Theo shouldn’t know yet, he shouldn’t worry. Bobby will wake up. He can’t lose his Grandpa, he can’t! I, I’ll call you.”

“Do you want to talk to Theo before you go?” Tommy offers quietly after a moment of silence and Buck feels the sting of tears.

“Yes. Please.” His voice breaks and Tommy makes a wounded sound on the other end of the phone. “And I'm sorry Tommy, I didn’t think I’d be gone this long. I thought I’d be back for Theo by now, I-“

“Hey, its okay. He’s been great so far.” Buck yearns for Tommy’s arms around him. “He did love the room, you were right.”

“Told you.” Buck says gently.

"And its really not a problem, Evan. I like having him here, its nice. I wish you weren’t at the hospital and here with us but don’t stress yourself out over racing back. We’ll be okay.” 

Buck’s chin wobbles and he sucks in a breath to stop himself from crying. “I know, you’re great with him. Can I talk to him?”

“Sure. Hang on.” There’s some shuffling around and a door closes, then the sound of the TV pauses. “Hey, kid. Its your dad on the phone, he really wants to talk to you.”

“Okay.” There’s some more shuffling and then- “Hi daddy! Good morning!”

“Hey baby, how are you? Did you have a good time at your sleepover?” It had been Theo’s first time staying somewhere that wasn’t with family and Buck thought he was too young still but Theo had begged and begged to go so Buck had finally relented.

“Yeah. I prefer my bed and they had gross cereal for breakfast. Terry’s mommy said it was healthy but it tasted like cardboard. Dad made breakfast for lunch though! We had eggs and waffles and bacon and dad is really good at making breakfast food, did you know?”

“Uh huh.” Buck had been treated to a breakfast feast the morning after they’d slept together for their second first time. “He is really good.”

Theo keeps talking though, not letting Buck say anything more. “And we’re at dad’s house. He has a whole house, like Aunt Maddie and Grandpa Bobby. Its so nice and I’ve got a room here too. He said it was for guests but I can have it if I want it and he said we could make a model airplane together too like the ones in my room. I don’t think I want to do a sleepover again, I like staying with you or Grandpa Bobby or Aunt Maddie. But I’d do a sleepover here because I have a room and you can stay in dad’s room, his bed is huge!”

“You don’t have to go to another sleepover if you don’t want to. I like having you at home too. But you tried it out, which is good.”

“When are you coming back, daddy? Dad said there’s a park nearby that we can go to after our movie is done but I wanna go together. Where are you?” 

“I’m just out, ah, running some errands. I needed to help Eddie and Chris out this morning and now I’m just helping Bobby but I’ll be back as soon as I can be, I promise. But your dad has got you, hasn’t he? You’re having a good time?”

“Yeah! It was cool that he picked me up like the other dads were doing but I was sad you weren’t there but dad said you were doing something important so its okay.” 

Buck talks to Theo for a few more minutes before he asks if he can put Tommy back on.

“Evan?”

“Yeah, still here.” Buck sighs. “Do- do you mind if we stay at my place tonight? I just know that I’ll want my nest after all of this and I love your place but, but I don’t, my nest is, yeah.” Buck winces as he tries to avoid saying something insane like he’d set his nest up at Tommy’s if he’d let him.

“That’s fine, sweetheart. Whatever you want. We could pick you up when you’re ready to go and head to yours? I don’t know where your car is though.”

“Eddie drove so, so that would be really nice. I can pick up my car from his another day. Thanks, Tommy.” Buck swallows down a love confession right there in the hospital waiting room because its too soon, way too soon but its there on the tip of his tongue.

They hang up and Buck heads back to join the others. Its tense for a while but Bobby wakes up and he’s going to be okay and Buck feels the tension he was carrying melt out of him. He gives Bobby a hug, tries not to squeeze too tightly but Bobby hears his unspoken words. Buck sends Tommy a text and when everyone is heading off back to their own families Buck finds Tommy and Theo sat on the edge of the truck, chatting away. Theo is talking with his hands, making big gestures as he explains something and Tommy is watching him, expression serious as he listens. Buck hadn’t wanted them to come up, didn’t want Theo seeing Bobby looking so ill and Bobby certainly hadn’t wanted that when Buck had mentioned that the two of them were picking him up.

“Hi.” He calls and both of them look up and grin.

“Hi daddy!” Theo shouts and Tommy hops down, lifting Theo onto the ground quickly and holding onto his shoulder to let a car pass in front of them. Once its deemed safe Theo shoots across to Buck, who scoops him up and holds him against his chest. “Why are we at the hospital? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, T. Grandpa Bobby is a little sick but he’s going to be okay.”

“Can I see him?” Theo’s little face is screwed up with worry and Buck holds him tighter as he comes to a stop in front of Tommy.

“Not tonight, he’s sleeping but soon. We can ask him. Hey, babe.” Buck leans towards Tommy and accepts the kiss his presses to Buck’s temple.

Theo’s face lights up as he watches them. “Do you kiss now? Are you boyfriends?”

Tommy laughs quietly, arm snaking around Buck’s waist to bring him in against Tommy’s chest. Buck lets his head tip to the side and rest on Tommy’s shoulder in an attempt at a hug when both of his arms are full.

“Yeah, we are. Is that okay, Theo?” Buck asks, bouncing him slightly like he would’ve done when Theo was still a toddler.

“Duh.” Theo says and Buck feels Tommy’s chest vibrate with a silent laugh.

“Hey.” Buck scolds gently and Theo smirks at him, truly a mini version of Tommy in that moment.

“I think you should be mates.” He says earnestly and Buck chokes a little on the breath he was just taking.

“That, er, that’s a big thing, Teddy Bear.” Tommy coughs out the words and Buck thinks the alpha was also caught off guard by the comment.

“That’s what daddy says. But if you’re mates then we can be a family forever.” Theo looks between the two of them, his small hand coming out to hold on to Tommy’s shirt.

“Shi- Theo, hey. We’re already always gonna be a family, alright? That won’t change whether your dad and I are boyfriends or not.” Tommy reassures him quietly. 

“But,” Theo starts, then he glances at Buck and decides not to say anything else and instead he nods, hand still clutching at Tommy’s shirt as if he’s trying to keep him close.

Tommy sets a hand against Theo’s back and pulls the two of them into a hug. Buck leans as much of his weight against him as he thinks Tommy can take and Theo tilts his head to lean against Tommy’s too. Their scents all overlap and its all Buck can smell right now and its perfect. He closes his eyes and tries to forget where they are for a moment because he just wants to live in this little pocket of their family for a while longer.

Eventually they head out and back to Buck’s apartment. They drag themselves up the stairs, Theo dilly dallying the entire way and extending the whole process to double the time it should’ve taken but then they’re inside. His nest is calling him but Buck should make dinner only Tommy gently guides him towards his bedroom.

“Start making it, I’ll throw something together for dinner and once we’re done you can dive straight in.” Tommy smiles at him and presses another kiss to his temple before he scoops Theo up and carries him towards the kitchen.

Buck’s heart clenches because he’s pretty sure he loves Tommy and those three words dance on his tongue but he swallows them down once again because he doesn’t want to freak the other man out. But before he goes into his bedroom he watches Theo and Tommy together in the kitchen. Tommy sets Theo down onto one of the stools at the island and after rummaging around in Buck’s fridge he gives the kid some lettuce to shred. Theo keeps stopping to gesture with his hands and lettuce flies across the counter but Tommy just keeps sweeping it back up in between his own tasks and lets Theo keep going. Buck can so clearly see his future right there in the kitchen. He retreats once he feels a lump forming in his throat.

His nest comes together quickly, he’s so practiced at it now but if its going to be him, Theo and Tommy he may need some extra blankets so he opens his closet to hunt for more. He’s pulling out an extra cushion when his eyes land on his box of letters. Once Theo had started crawling and then walking and running Buck had moved it up to a high shelf, not wanting the kid to find them. Buck hasn’t written a letter for a few months now because why would he need to. He tosses the cushions into his nest carelessly and then grabs the box. He perches on the edge of his bed, not wanting to disturb the nest after he’s put in the effort of actually making it, and opens the box. 

There’s the letters of course but there’s photos laying around too, some attached to paper and some not. There’s a few postcards and a couple of Theo’s drawings from years ago that have managed to slip in too, probably when Buck was feeling especially sentimental or lonely. He leafs through some of the loose papers, he’s written so much over the years, so much of Theo’s life is documented here and page after page starts with Tommy’s name at the top. Buck clutches the sheafs of paper tightly in one hand as he rummages around with the other. There at the bottom is the first one, tear stained and turning yellow with age despite only being six years old. He doesn’t move it, just taps at it and runs his finger across the words there. 

All this time, all these letters, he thought he’d never see Tommy again, never be able to tell him any of this stuff. But he’d also written them when he felt sad or lonely or just isolated in a way that some of the people in his life didn’t understand and the ones that did never wanted to talk about it. These letters had acted as therapy before he’d started to see his actual therapist but there’s so, so much love in them too. Buck had never forgotten Tommy, how could he have? But he feels guilt swelling up because he’d remembered him but not enough to actually go and look for him, to remember what they’d talked about and find him. He’d let Tommy and Theo lose years together and all he had to show for it was this box.

“Evan?” Tommy calls and Buck hears the stampede of tiny feet coming towards his room.

He slams the box shut after stuffing the letters back inside and he leaves it on his bedside table. He’ll show Tommy the letters, they’re his really. And it’ll give him more than Buck can from memory alone, there’s surely things in those letters that Buck doesn't remember anymore and it feels like showing Tommy the softest, weakest part of himself but he feels like he needs to do it, he needs Tommy to know that he’s sorry, that he’ll do anything to make it up to him.

“Daddy! Dinner’s ready!” Theo bursts through the door and launches himself at Buck, cast be damned and that thing really can’t come off soon enough.

“Coming, coming. What did you make me then?” He tries to pick Theo up but the kid dodges away from him to speed back to the kitchen and when Buck leaves his room he finds Theo and Tommy in the midst of bargaining over dessert.

“I made salad! Dad made pasta.” Theo decides to answer his earlier question. “I thought we should make cake for dessert but dad said that would take too long so we’ve decided on ice cream.”

“Oh, you have, have you?” Buck smiles down at Theo who nods decisively and scampers towards the dinner table.

“I didn’t know if you’d want wine after the day you'd had?” Tommy asks, gesturing towards a bottle he’d pulled out and Buck says yes, threading his arms around Tommy’s waist first though to get a kiss.

He helps to bring the plates over and the three of them dig in. Theo recounts his day and eagerly asks if he can spend the day with Tommy again and Tommy beams at him. Buck is happy too but then he remembers Bobby laying in a hospital bed and his smile falls a little. He tries to put on a good face for Theo but when they’ve finished their dessert and their son asks if he can go and watch some TV before bed Buck lets him without much of an argument. Tommy is eyeing him from his spot next to Buck as he takes a sip of his own glass of wine.

“You okay?” He asks when Buck starts to stack plates silently.

Buck nearly jumps, startled by the question because he thought he'd been doing a good job at seeming fine and he’s rarely asked if he’s alright so he pauses then decides to be truthful. “I just, we nearly lost him today, you know?”

“He’s going to be okay, Evan.” Tommy reaches out to squeeze his hand.

“Yeah, yeah, I, I know. He’ll be fine. He’s always fine. I- Just, he’s like the father I never had, I guess. And he’s basically Theo’s grandpa too.”

“Your dad is alive.” Tommy doesn’t quite phrase it as a question but Buck can hear it.

“Exactly.” He tries to joke.

“Well, you don’t have to tell me about bad father-son relationships. My dad and I don’t exactly talk much. It kind of made me nervous, about Theo, you know? But if anything its given me the perfect example of what not to do.”

“Was it, was it that bad?” Buck asks, eyes flicking over to Theo, who is entranced by whatever he’s watching on TV.

“Pretty much. What about you?”

“He isn’t a bad man, I don’t think. Just not a great dad. They, my parents, weren’t really present. Its a whole thing. I’ll tell you about it later but I get it. Being nervous I mean.” Buck turns his hand to tangle their fingers together properly. “I never want Theo to feel like he’s a burden or that he’s unloved or anything. That’s always been my top priority, for him to know that I love him so much no matter what.”

“You’re a good dad, Evan. A great one. Theo is really lucky.” Tommy squeezes his hand.

“I’m lucky too. And you’re doing great. I know it can be overwhelming but so far I’d say we’re not giving him any daddy issues. We wouldn’t want to pass that along.”

“I don’t have daddy issues.” Tommy snarks, pausing midway through lifting up his wine glass.

“But you think I do?” Buck is only half joking.

“God, I hope so.” Tommy keeps a straight face as he takes a sip of his wine and Buck can’t stop the grin that overtakes his lips. 

He wants this man so badly but Theo is right there in the living area and he did want time in the nest with both of them, his son and his partner for the first time so he lets the urge go and instead tugs Tommy over to the couch to join their kid. Theo snuggles in between them and eventually starts to yawn too often and his eyes start to flutter shut so Buck prods him towards his bedroom.

“Alright, go and get your pyjamas on, its time for you to go to sleep.”

“But dad.” Theo whines, curling closer to Tommy as if he’ll save him.

“Hey, you heard him.” Tommy lifts Theo to his feet and Theo pouts at them both.

“Fine.” He gives in after another yawn escapes him and drags his heels as he walks to his bedroom.

“Thanks.” Buck says, sliding into the gap Theo left behind so that he can press into Tommy’s space.

“For what?” Tommy laughs but sets his hand down on Buck’s thigh.

“Being a united front or whatever they say in those parenting books.” Buck yawns too and because he’s feeling so warm and safe, teetering on the edge of sleep, he doesn’t think about the words that fall out of his mouth next. “I want to show you something.” He mutters.

“Hm, what’s that?” Tommy asks and that’s when Buck realises what he’s said.

His heart starts to beat against his ribcage and he swallows nervously. He takes a deep breath before getting up because he’s going to show Tommy, he has to. He owes him this look into Theo’s life.

“Come with me. Its in my room.” He tugs Tommy up.

“You do know Theo isn’t asleep yet?” Tommy grins at him and waggles his eyebrows.

“Oh ha ha.” Buck elbows him lightly but when he sees the box still sitting their on his bedside table any mirth he’s feeling fades quickly. “So, finding out I was pregnant really sort of threw me for a loop.” He starts and Tommy hums, tangling his hand into Buck’s shirt.

“I can imagine it did.”

“Yeah, so. I, I didn’t have many people to talk to about it and I really wanted to talk to you the most but I didn’t think I could and it was Hen who suggested I write it all down to make myself feel a bit better I guess. And it did help so I kept writing it down, even after Theo was born. So I have this written log basically, of like, everything he’s ever done. There was less time to write sometimes but I tried to keep up with it. I, I felt like I should. It felt like I was talking to you, telling you all these things and it pushed the guilt away I guess. And the loneliness. I was stupid, for not trying to look you up at all but it really did slip my mind for a minute there. I just remembered you and your face and how you made me feel and I kinda hated it because- because I didn’t, couldn’t, find that again so I don’t know. I kept writing and here.” Buck picks up the box and turns to shove it at Tommy.

“Evan, what?” Tommy trails off as he catches the box and looks inside.

“I kept writing to you. There’s so much in there and some erm, some personal stuff as well as stuff about Theo. Some pictures of him too, which you’ve probably already seen but the hard copies. You can keep them. All of it. Or if you don’t want it then that’s fine. I get it. I’m- its a lot. But I want you to have them and you can read them or shred them or throw them back at me. I know it might seem like I’m rubbing this all in your face and I’m not trying to but-“

“Daddy! Dad! I’ve run out of toothpaste!” Theo hurtles into the room and dives straight into Buck’s nest.

Buck tears his eyes away from Tommy’s slightly shell shocked expression to look down at Theo who is trying his best to burrow between the sheets.

“Hey! Don’t even think about it. You still have to wash up before you get comfy in there.”

“But I can stay in here? We’re having nest time? Is dad coming too?” Theo kneels up, his curls sticking out in every direction and his eyes bright as he looks up at Tommy. Tommy, who is still looking down at the open box, his fingers dancing over the top pages. His lips are pressed firmly together as he reads the words Buck had scrawled across the page just a few months ago, something about a school project he thinks. “Dad?” Theo asks again and Tommy jolts.

“What? Oh. Sorry Theo. What did you say?”

“Are you staying in daddy’s nest too? Now that you’re boyfriends you can stay, right? Terry has family nest time and he says its really nice but makes him sleepy. We can do that now, can’t we? You said we were a family now!” And Theo isn’t trying to guilt Tommy, Buck’s sure of that. The kid is just wildly enthusiastic but now probably isn’t the best time.

“How about we wash up and then you can get straight in, T. Then you can get the best spot.” Buck doesn’t answer Theo’s question and neither does Tommy and Theo protests all the way to the bathroom but Buck doesn’t crack for once.

Theo speeds through his nighttime routine and ducks under Buck’s arm to race back into Buck’s bedroom and Buck hurries after him. Tommy is sat on the edge of the nest in an old t shirt and shorts. The box is set neatly aside and Tommy looks a little bit sad but he tries to put on a smile when Theo scrambles up into his lap. Then hardly winces when Theo accidentally kicks him when he hops back down because he forgot his bear.

“Are you okay?” Buck asks, nerves making his palms clammy.

“I- just overwhelmed. Its been a big day.” Tommy doesn’t look at him.

“You can go if you want. I understand.” Buck wants to cry because Tommy is right it has been a big day.

“No. I’m not just going to leave you both like that. Not tonight.” Tommy stands up with a sigh. “But I’d like to have some time to myself tomorrow if that’s alright with you? If you want me to look after Theo though with Bobby being in hospital that’s fine.”

“No, it’s alright. We’ll manage with just the two of us.”

“Got him! Come on!” Theo nose dives into the nest, twisting at the last minute to avoid landing on his bad arm.

Buck drags himself to the bathroom to wash up and Tommy stands next to him and brushes his teeth in silence. He doesn’t even pull faces at Buck in the mirror to try and make him laugh like he usually does. Theo is already half asleep by the time they’re done and Buck quickly changes and slides in next to him.

"Are you sure you want me in your nest, Evan?” Tommy hesitates beside the bed and in normal circumstances Buck would’ve rolled his eyes and made a crack about it but now he just nods and pulls one of the sheets back.

“Yes, I’m sure, Tommy.”

Tommy gets in without further protest and Buck is relieved when he spoons up against Buck’s back and wraps his arm around him. Theo mumbles and slides his small hand under Tommy’s and snuggles closer to Buck. A light kiss, more of a brush of his mouth than anything else, is laid across the back of Buck’s neck and Tommy slips his leg between Buck’s. Buck rests his hand on Theo’s stomach, feeling his slow breaths and he lets that and the heat of Tommy against his back lull him into sleep. He knows without them both being here his mind would have endlessly cycled through the worst case scenarios that Bobby could face and he would’ve been restless all night but with the two of them, his family, surrounding him he drifts off into a dreamless sleep.

He wakes up to Tommy slipping out of the bed. He presses a kiss to Buck’s birthmark and he runs a hand through Theo’s hair, whispering something about having to go and then he is gone, the box of letters disappearing with him. He leaves behind his scent on Buck’s pillows and sheets instead but it does nothing to calm Buck’s nerves.

———

Tommy doesn’t call or text for an entire day after he leaves with the letters. It makes Buck incredibly nervous and twitchy and even Theo picks up on it, eyeing him from across the table as they eat dinner. Buck had tried to keep himself distracted all day, he’d seen Bobby at the hospital and then he’d taken Theo to the aquarium and then a park before they’d come home to bake some cupcakes and then make dinner together. Buck had also been compulsively checking his phone all day waiting and waiting to hear from Tommy.

Can I come over later?

Please

Buck almost dives for his phone when Tommy finally texts him. He’d left it on the island as he got Theo set up for some reading time on the couch but the sound of it vibrating has him hurtling towards it. Thankfully Theo has been sucked into his latest read quickly and is none the wiser to his dad acting like a fool.

Yeah course you can

Are you okay?

I was getting worried

I’m sorry if I overstepped or made you uncomfortable

Buck stands there and stares at his phone, watches as the bubbles pop up as he waits for Tommy to reply.

Thanks and I’m fine, Evan, are you? And Bobby? Theo?

You didn’t do anything wrong

Are you sure?

I’m fine too

Just worried about you

Theo is fine, he’s reading right now before he has to go to bed

Will you be here before that or should I let him go to bed as normal?

Bobby is okay, already frustrated about being stuck in a hospital bed but the doctors say he should make a full recovery

He’ll be back at work in no time so they say

He winces as he rereads his barrage of messages. Why didn’t he just put some of those into one message instead of bombarding Tommy with text after text. He hopes he’s not being annoying, that’s the last thing he wants right now.

I’ll come after his bedtime, I think I want just the two of us to be able to talk without Theo listening in

Buck swallows and tries to force the tears welling up to recede because Tommy said he was fine. He wants to come over and talk but that might not be a bad thing. They said at the start of this that they’d need to communicate if they wanted this to work but Buck knows he can’t wait for another hour or two to find out if this is a bad talk or not so he pulls together his courage and with shaky fingers he taps out another message.

I need to ask or I’ll lose my mind

You’re not mad or anything, right? This isn’t going to be a talk that turns into a fight or something?

I just can’t sit here and wait and not know without driving myself crazy

And I don’t mean to make it about me I just want to know the vibe I guess

The vibe?

Tommy replies almost immediately and something in Buck settles at the thought of Tommy sitting and watching his own phone for Buck’s messages.

I’m shaking my head fondly in case you needed to know that

I’m not mad, Evan

I just want to check in I guess you’d call it

Right, that’s fine. Buck can handle that. He thinks. His eyes flick back to Tommy’s message about being fond and he feels his heart trip up. Tommy is fond of him. Buck grins down at his phone. He’s not sure anyone has ever been fond of him before. Sure Maddie loves him, he’s her little brother so she sort of has to and everyone from the 118 likes him, he knows that. Even if sometimes it feels like they don’t, that they find him annoying. He thinks Bobby might even love him and he’s been affectionate with Buck before but nobody has ever told him.

I’ll text when I’m outside

Knock quietly or you’ll wake him and then he won’t want to go back to sleep if you’re here

Got it

Buck almost writes that Theo is sort of obsessed with Tommy but he leaves it because Buck is sort of obsessed with Tommy as well. With a mix of relief and trepidation flooding his system he starts to tidy the kitchen, filling a glass up for Theo to take to bed. Once he’s happy with his cleaning its time to get Theo to sleep and he drifts off easily after a bedtime story and a light scenting.

He debates getting changed, should he wear something nice? Or stay in his sweats? He doesn’t want Tommy to think he looks gross but also would it be weird to dress up? But he wants to look nice, he wants Tommy to think he looks good too. He’s suddenly irritated that he can’t tidy the kitchen so instead he sets his sights on the living room and starts to pick up the items that both he and Theo have left out over the last few days.

His phone buzzes and Buck starts to sweat. He tells himself its going to be fine. It doesn’t seem like Tommy wants to break up. He just wants to talk, that’s normal.

There’s a quiet knock on the door. Tommy is here.

Buck pads across the apartment quietly and swings the door open.

“Tommy-“ He starts but gets cut off because Tommy immediately wraps his arms around him and gathers Buck against his chest, holding him tightly and tucking his face into Buck’s neck.

“Evan.” Tommy sighs into him and Buck brings his own arms up to encircle the alpha.

“Hi.” He whispers and he presses a soft kiss into Tommy’s hair, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Tommy’s back.

The door is still wide open.

“Hey.” Tommy says quietly, then he pulls back and looks at Buck, hands moving to hold Buck’s waist.

“You wanna sit down? Or, or do you want a drink or anything?”

“I just want to get this over with. Wait, that sounded horrible. But if I don’t just say it I’ll chicken out and that won’t be good. For us, I mean. Because I need to be open and honest. We agreed we would be.” Tommy’s hands drop from Buck’s waist so that he can wring them together nervously.

Buck closes the door and turns so that he can lean against it and watch Tommy, who is taking a deep breath as if he’s trying to calm himself down.

“Are you okay?” He asks and Tommy turns back to look at him.

The older man’s expression is searching as he watches Buck and he takes a halting step forward. Buck wants to open his arms again to let Tommy back in but he doesn’t, instead he lets them hang awkwardly by his sides. They’re both silent for a moment, just looking at each other but then Tommy lurches forward again and then he’s talking and talking.

“Are you serious about this? About us and being a family? Because I don’t think I can walk away from all of this, I don’t want to get my heart broken because I want this so badly, Evan. I spent all day reading and rereading your letters. I don’t- I can’t, I’m not great at being vulnerable and laying it all out for someone else to see. And I know you didn’t intend for me to actually read them when you wrote it all down but you still gave them to me. I want to give you the same, I don’t know, level of access? To me. But I just- I need to know that you’re in this. I’m sorry if that’s a horrible question to ask you when you’ve shared so much of your life and Theo with me already but, I need to know, Evan.” Tommy is gasping for air and Buck can’t stop himself from reaching out and sliding his arms around Tommy’s waist.

“Tommy.” He breathes out, resting his forehead against the alpha’s and waiting for Tommy to take a few deep breaths. “I’m ready for something with you. Something serious. I, I want this for us. I want to make it work and I didn’t mean to dump everything on you via those letters. I just, just thought that if you had a window into how its been without you, if you could experience even a fraction of what I got then I’d feel like I’d made things up to you just a little bit. I’m so sorry that you didn’t get any of that.”

“I think we need to move past that if we’re going to be happy, Evan.” Tommy sighs. “Neither of us can change it now even though god knows I want to. But I don’t want you to feel guilty for the rest of your life. I have you both now, I have the rest of my life with Theo. We’ll be okay.”

“I don’t get how you can be calm about it. If things had been reversed, I’d have been beyond upset about missing everything up to now.” Buck tightens his arms around Tommy because despite him telling the truth he doesn’t want that to change Tommy’s mind and make him leave.

“Well, if I spend the rest of my life being mad about it, at you, then I lose time with my family and I’m probably going to always grieve that lost time but isn’t the whole reason for grief because you can’t get something back, there’s no changing it and I don’t want to be bitter. I don’t want it to eat away at us. I don’t want to be an angry man, Evan.”

Buck pulls back to look at Tommy and finds the other man’s eyes red and watery. He opens his mouth to ask, knows on some level that Tommy has been shaped by an angry man and it makes Buck feel like there’s a chasm in his chest. So he brings Tommy back into a hug without asking, rests his head on Tommy’s shoulder and feels Tommy’s cheek press against his temple.

“Okay.” Buck quietly gives in. “I think it might take me a little while to sort out my own guilt and grief but I do get what you’re saying. I should schedule a therapy appointment I suppose.” They stand there, swaying slightly for a few seconds before Buck has to break the silence. “Are you serious? About this?”

I love you dances on his tongue but he swallows it down.

“Yes, I am.” Tommy says just as quietly and Buck leads him towards his bedroom, pushing him down into his nest.

They don’t say much more until they’re spooned together under the sheets. Not naked because Theo could come in at any time but Buck can still feel the line of heat Tommy provides down the length of his body. A strong arm wrapped around his waist and a gentle hand splayed out over his stomach.

“I’m sorry I didn’t even warn you about the letters. I maybe shouldn't have just dumped them on you like that but the idea had worked its way into my head so I just went for it. Perhaps I’m still a bit impulsive. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. I like that about you, you know.” Tommy brushes a kiss against his shoulder.

“Yeah?” Buck feels his cheeks turning pink and his heart speeding up as he turns his head towards Tommy as much as he can.

“Yeah. I need a bit if impulsiveness in my life.” Tommy is so caring and sweet and Buck wants to bathe in it, let it all sink under his skin.

They fall asleep pressed together and Buck holds onto the arm Tommy has wrapped around him, not wanting to let him go even in sleep. He clings on and Tommy lets him. As he drifts off Buck comes to the conclusion that he’s definitely in love with his boyfriend, that he wants everything he can have with him but its far too soon to say that. Tommy knows that he wants serious, that he wants this to work, that he’s willing to try and that he’ll be vulnerable for him. It probably seems like love to him, to other people looking in but it feels too fragile to say it so Buck holds the confession close to his chest. He’ll tell Tommy one day, when its been long enough that it won’t seem insane. 

He’ll tell him.

———

With Bobby retiring and Gerrard taking over as captain work is no longer the fun, safe place it used to be but at least now Buck can go home to his kid and his partner. He and Theo spend half the week at Tommy’s these days, its still close enough to Theo’s school that its no problem switching between the two and Theo enjoys being able to play in the garden on the weekends. Tommy had decided to teach him how to play baseball, football, basketball or any sport that Theo showed an interest in. Buck is glad for it because he’d have done it for Theo but he has no interest in sports, he’s fine with the gym and he’d rather watch a documentary than a sports game but Tommy loves them so at least both parties involved in their lessons are having fun. And Buck enjoys watching them run around the garden together. Baseball had been what stuck though so Buck had signed Theo up for a summer programme. He’d taken a rare day of PTO to make sure he was there for his baby’s first game.

“Alright, you have your water? And you put your sunscreen on, didn’t you?”

“Yes daddy, dad did it for me.” Theo is glancing around at the other kids stood with their parents, probably making sure nobody is listening to Buck fuss.

“Sure did.” Tommy says from his spot beside Buck, reaching out to ruffle Theo’s curls before he hands over a little cap. “Put this on though, it’ll keep the sun out of your eyes.”

“You’re such a grown up boy playing your first baseball game, you’re gonna be so good. I’m so proud of you Theo.” Buck gushes as he adjusts the hat and fiddles with Theo’s shirt collar.

“Its not even Little League daddy, its not that serious.” Theo deadpans, which he definitely got from his dad and Buck hears said man snort and turns to send Tommy a quick glare.

“Well, I'm still proud of you for being brave and coming here and then coming back and now you’re playing a whole game. You’re so grown up.” And oh no, Buck is actually choking up a little because stood in front of him in a little uniform Theo actually looks older than ever and where did his little baby go?

Theo squints up at him suspiciously and Buck hurriedly stands up and sniffs.

“Come here.” Tommy pulls Theo into a hug to distract him and Buck takes the opportunity to quickly wipe his eyes and pull himself together. “Alright good luck, Teddy.”

“Thanks! See you after!” Theo shouts as he runs off towards his coach.

“We’ll be watching!” Buck calls but Theo is already talking to another kid and Buck sighs.

“Aw, now you come here.” Tommy wraps Buck up in his arms as Buck pouts, watching Theo chat away to his new friends.

“I was a mess on his first day of school and he just didn’t care, ran straight into the building like they were giving out candy. Maybe they were, I can’t remember. Bobby had to drive me home.” He mutters into Tommy’s shoulder.

“We’re gonna be so embarrassing when he goes to prom and when he graduates. Or if he gets married.” Tommy kisses his head.

“He’s not moving away to go to college, he’s staying at home with us. Forever.” Buck doesn’t even want to think about Theo not being a kid anymore.

“I'm sure he’ll love that.” Tommy laughs. “You ready to go find the others?”

Bobby, Athena, Maddie and Jee-Yun are all here too, ready to watch and cheer for Theo at his first official baseball game.

“Yeah come on. I need something sweet to take the edge off.” Buck tangles his fingers with Tommy’s.

“I hope you know this is about to be the most frustrating spectator experience of your life. I watched Olivia’s soccer game with Sal once, I wanted to tear my hair out so badly. Olivia was the best one there though, obviously.” Tommy is frowning to himself as he recalls what must have been a game from hell.

“Obviously.” Buck chuckles. Aside from Theo, Sal and Gina’s daughters are Tommy’s favourite kids. Olivia and Victoria think Tommy is the best thing to walk the earth too if Sal is to be believed. Buck can understand it.

Jee barrels into their legs as they approach and Buck lifts her up but then she opens her arms to Tommy for a hug from him too. Tommy seems a little surprised but Buck just rolls his eyes. Every kid he knows is obsessed with the guy and Buck can’t even blame them. He grins as Tommy takes Jee off him and she immediately begs him to play planes and helicopters with her. Thankfully Maddie jumps in and reminds Jee that they’re here to watch Theo play and a sharp whistle breaks through the air and catches Jee’s attention.

Theo’s team wins after an excruciatingly slow game but Buck loved it. Theo was a star player, he was one of the only kids that could actually hit the ball with even a small amount of precision, not that Buck is bragging about it or anything. Tommy drives them to a local diner for a victory meal and Buck hooks his ankles around Tommy’s as they eat, Theo recounting each moment of the game as if his parents hadn’t watched the whole thing. They both admire Theo’s medal and tell him how proud they are of him and when they walk out of the diner with Theo holding both their hands Buck catches a glimpse of their reflection and he feels a warmth bloom inside him over how much they look like a family.

———

Things were going smoothly at least until wildfire season took hold. Tommy was called out frequently and spent stretches of time away unable to call. It made Theo grumpy, it made Buck grumpy and if they could talk to him he’s sure Tommy would tell them it made him grumpy too. Theo had been giving Buck a bit of attitude, which is so unlike him and it had been making Buck want to scream into his pillow. He was trying to be patient because he got it, he did, but with Gerrard making work shitty Buck was at the end of his tether.

“I don’t know what to do! I can’t just snap my fingers and make Tommy appear and Theo knows that Tommy is out there helping with the fires, he knows why Tommy isn’t around as much but I think he’s probably panicking about him not coming back.”

“Do you want me to take him for a night this weekend? Give you a break to go out with Eddie or something?”

Buck is currently sat across from Bobby in his tiny kitchen. He’d dropped Theo off at his friend’s house for a playdate and come straight here because this morning Theo had complained about his sandwiches not being right, how Tommy made them differently and Theo liked them that way and Tommy cut them into triangles not rectangles and Buck had had to swallow down a snappish remark because Theo didn’t deserve that.

“I don’t know. Eddie hasn’t exactly been great company lately either.” Buck shrugs. He’s trying to be there for his best friend but with Chris gone Eddie bats between depressingly deflated and irritatingly chipper, fake cheeriness looking plastic and hollow on his face.

“Do you know when Tommy will be back? I could ask around about when the new wave is coming in to relive the ones on duty right now.” Bobby gives him a sympathetic look but Buck shakes his head.

“No, its fine. Tommy said Sunday or Monday. I think I’ll let him recover before we go and see him. I know Theo will want to spend the whole day with him once he’s back and it’ll be a lot. He’ll be tired so I thought he’d want some space first. I don’t want to be too much for him.”

Bobby gives him a funny look then shakes his head. They chat for a little longer and avoid talking directly about the station beyond one or two complaints about Gerrard, Buck is still a little mad that Bobby up and tried to retire without telling any of them. Eventually Buck has to pick Theo up and the kid has at least mellowed out, crawling into Buck’s lap when they get home and apologising for being mean this morning.

“You weren’t mean, T. Just a bit rude. But I forgive you.” Buck holds him tight and sways him gently like he’s a baby again.

“I just miss dad. I want him to be here with us all the time. Its not fair.” Theo says quietly and Buck feels a lump forming in his throat.

“I know, baby. Its not. But your dad is out there helping to make sure the fires don’t get worse. Other people need him right now.”

“I know.” Theo curls into him and Buck leans down to rest his cheek on top of Theo’s head. “But I wish we could talk to him. I want it to smell like us again.” Buck rubs a soothing hand up and down Theo’s back. “I don’t want him to get hurt. I know you go into fires all the time and its dangerous but the big fires on TV look really scary.” And Buck isn’t sure where Theo has managed to see footage of wildfires, he tries to make sure he doesn’t have it on around Theo because of how close the kid is to the situation but Theo must have found a way.

“Hey, your dad knows what he’s doing and he’s very careful. He wants to come home to see you, okay?” Buck makes sure not to promise Tommy’s safe return because unfortunately its not a promise he can make but he’s going to do his best to make sure that Theo worries as little as possible.

“Can we do nest time when he’s back? And can we stay at dad’s house? I like the garden. And I get a big bed at his house.” Theo looks up at him with wide, pitiful eyes and Buck wants to go and find Tommy and drag him home right this second.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay with that.” He says instead.

They’re silent for a few minutes and then Theo is pushing up to look at Buck, his knees and elbows digging into Buck painfully as he moves around.

“Can we build a fort? Like we did with dad before he left? That was fun.”

So they build a fort because Buck can’t say no to those puppy eyes. Not when he’s feeling just as sad and mopey about Tommy not being here as Theo is. It turns out pretty good, not as good as the one that Tommy helped build despite Buck being the one that’s worked in construction before, apparently those skills don’t quite translate into fort making. But Theo is happy enough with their efforts and falls asleep curled up in a bed of pillows and blankets and Buck can’t bring himself to move him.

He wriggles out and slowly picks up plates and glasses and tidies the kitchen. It seems to be a never ending task. He turns off the TV and decides to get himself ready for bed. He hasn’t been sleeping that well since Tommy’s been gone and he takes a second to marvel over how quickly he’s got used to sharing his bed with Tommy. Now it feels horribly empty and lonely without him in it. Buck has been tempted more than once to drive himself and Theo across to Tommy’s place just so that Buck could sink into sheets that still smelled like the alpha.

He’s just headed back towards the living room to carry Theo to bed when there’s a light knock on the door. He glances at the time and frowns. Its not horrifically late but he doesn’t usually have visitors at this time. Its probably Eddie, he’s been feeling lonely and sometimes he comes over to sleep on Buck’s couch because he knows Buck is missing someone too. He unlocks the door and opens it without checking who it is, already preparing to tell Eddie to be quiet because Theo is asleep next to the sofa. The words stick in his throat when his eyes land on Tommy.

Tommy who is stood in the doorway, face drooping with exhaustion, his whole body sagging. He’s clutching his overnight bag in one hand and the other is helping to hold himself up, gripping onto the doorframe. Buck gapes at him.

“Hey, Evan.” Tommy gives him a tired smile and pushes himself off the wall.

“Oh my god.” Buck doesn’t shout but he’s sure his voice probably carries across the apartment. “What are you-? Oh my god.” And then to his horror he starts to cry. Tommy looks alarmed and he immediately drops his bag, arms coming up to hold onto Buck instead. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t- how are you here right now? I thought you wouldn’t be here until Monday?”

Buck sniffles into Tommy’s neck and wraps his arms around Tommy’s shoulders because Tommy is here two days before he said he would be and he’s so happy.

“They let me off early. Told me to go home and see my family.” That makes Buck cry harder. “Hey, come on. You’re alright. I’m here, right here.” Tommy’s voice sounds a little wobbly too though and Buck clings tighter.

“I’m so happy right now. These are happy tears.” Buck assures him and he reaches up to scent Tommy on autopilot and when Tommy doesn’t pull back Buck keeps going. “You smell bad.” He pouts and Tommy laughs, loudly.

“Daddy?” Theo’s tiny feet slap against the floor as he totters towards the door, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “’S noisy.” He complains before he finally opens his eyes properly.

“Hey Theo.” Tommy says in the same soft voice he’d said hello to Buck in.

“Dad!” Theo yells, tearing towards Tommy and Buck just manages to get out of the way before Theo slams into Tommy’s legs. Tommy reaches down to hoist Theo up to give him a proper hug and Theo sinks into it. “You’re home!” 

Theo clings tightly just like Buck had been doing and when Tommy opens his arm Buck joins them immediately. He curls into Tommy’s side, head resting on Tommy’s shoulder and hand coming up to rest on Theo’s back. Theo lets go of Tommy to grip onto Buck’s shirt collar. He clumsily scents Tommy and then Buck, proud of himself when Buck and Tommy both chuckle and hold him tighter.

“We should go to bed. Your dad is probably beyond tired, T.” Buck says eventually but he doesn’t want to move.

“I could sleep for a 100 years.” Tommy deadpans, slowly setting Theo back onto his feet.

“Like Sleeping Beauty.” Theo nods. “Daddy would wake you up before that! He could give you true loves kiss. We should sleep in the nest, I’ll go and get my Teddy.” And with that Theo is darting off to his bedroom.

“True loves kiss, huh?” Tommy asks, smirk playing on his lips and Buck rolls his eyes.

“Don’t make me test it out, how about 12 hours instead of a 100 years?” Buck does lean in and give Tommy a kiss though, then another and another and they’re still kissing when Theo comes back.

“Gross.” He says, then he starts attempting to drag Tommy’s bag into the apartment and towards Buck’s room.

“I think we’re being herded.” Tommy says quietly and Buck laughs, the tightness in his chest that he had hardly noticed was finally releasing because Tommy was here.

“Let’s go then.” Buck holds his hand out for Tommy to take after he locks the door and they catch up with Theo and Buck picks up Tommy’s bag for him.

The three of them end up curled together in Buck’s nest. Tommy sandwiched in between Buck and Theo. Buck has his head resting on Tommy’s chest, Tommy’s fingers drawing idle patterns down his back as Buck listens to his heartbeat. Theo is hugging Tommy’s other arm like its his teddy bear, his actual teddy abandoned on the pillow. Tommy falls asleep within minutes of being in bed, completely out for some much needed rest. Theo follows him quickly, still sleepy enough that he passes right back out now that he’s in a comfy bed. It takes Buck a little longer. He stays awake and feels Tommy breathe, feels how solid he is under Buck’s head and hand. Buck reaches out to brush Theo’s curls away from his face and marvels at how much he looks like a perfect mix of Buck and Tommy.

They’d sent Tommy home to his family. They’d sent him home. To his family. That’s Buck and Theo. Buck turns his head so that his grin is pressed into Tommy’s chest. He wants this forever. He wants to be the place Tommy comes home to, he wants to come home to Tommy and Theo too. 

He sleeps without an issue for the first time in a few weeks. He wakes up alone but he can hear Tommy and Theo in the kitchen, no doubt working on cooking up some pancakes, they’re Tommy’s speciality according to Theo. Buck joins them because he doesn’t want to miss out on their laughter, their joy and the three of them spend the day joined at the hip.

The next day Buck is more willing to let Theo and Tommy have some time together. Buck hasn’t quite had his fill of Tommy, he’s not sure that’s possible anymore, but he’s willing to let them spend the day together and bond. He tells them over breakfast that he’s going to hang out with Eddie, that their friend is feeling a bit blue so Buck said he’d spend some time with him but that the two of them should do something fun without him. Tommy gives him a shrewd look, picking up that it wasn’t a coincidence but Theo is none the wiser. He talks through several different options with Tommy before they decide on the park and a picnic. Theo also loudly whispers to Tommy that Eddie is a bit woeful these days but that his daddy told him not to tell anyone else that, he’s decided that Tommy is allowed to know though. Tommy looks like he’s trying not to laugh at Theo’s word choice, it screams of Theo having just learnt it, and instead he nods sympathetically and then Theo is asking if they can take a ball to the park too.

Buck feels bad about breathing out a sigh of relief when Tommy is told that he won’t be needed for the rest of the season. Tommy is a damn good pilot and he’d be a wonderful help but selfishly he’s glad that their family gets to stay together for the foreseeable.

He’d also missed having sex with Tommy and as soon as they’re alone Buck is on him with absolutely zero complaints from Tommy. Its a good night, a great night and Buck can understand why they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. He’s never felt more into Tommy than right now.

———

For some reason Theo’s school decided to have their career day early this year. The kids have barely been back before Theo is bringing home a letter about parents coming in to talk to the class. Buck has already done it and the rest of the kids have gotten over him being a firefighter by now but he’ll go in again if Theo wants him to.

It turns out not be a problem though because Theo pulls the letter out of his bag once they arrive at Tommy’s and marches straight over to the alpha.

“Dad!” He shouts despite being a foot away from the man.

Tommy smirks but kneels down. “Yeah, Teddy? You have a good day at school?”

“Uh huh. They gave us these.” He shoves the letter towards Tommy as Buck comes to a stop in the doorway, leaning against the frame as he watches his guys. “Its gonna be career day next week.” Theo blinks up at Tommy.

“Oh really?” Tommy scans the letter and looks up at Buck before his eyes drop back to Theo. “You excited?”

“Sure. Will,” Theo bites his lip and shuffles his feet, suddenly nervous. He looks back at Buck, who has added together what Theo wants and he gives him an encouraging nod. “Do you want to come? And speak to my class?”

Tommy startles, a look of surprise sliding over his face, his eyebrows crawling up his forehead. He looks up at Buck again then back to Theo.

“Me? You want me to come?”

“Yeah! Daddy came last year. And my friends thought he was cool cause he’s a firefighter but you’re a pilot, dad! I want you to talk to my class and tell them that one day you’ll take me flying and that you fight fires in the sky!” Theo’s jubilant enthusiasm makes both Buck and Tommy grin and Tommy shakes his head a little too.

“Fight fires from the sky.” Tommy corrects gently and Theo huffs.

“Will you come, dad? Pleeeease.” Theo rocks up onto the balls of his feet and rests his hands on Tommy’s knee, giving him a wide eyed puppy dog look which is a little overkill in Buck’s opinion but Theo doesn’t seem to understand yet that he has Tommy wrapped around his finger.

“Of course. If you’re sure you want me to come and not your dad.” Tommy holds the letter tight as Theo leans into his space.

“I’m sure! Nobody else’s dad is as cool as you so you need to come. And you’re the best pilot too, you know about the birds and you can tell my class about them too.”

Buck watches Tommy melt for their son and instantly knows that Theo’s class is probably about to be invited for a tour of Harbor Station in the near future.

“You’ll have to make sure your dad isn’t on shift, bud. I can come if he can’t.” Buck offers, finally moving away from the door.

“I’ll take the day off.” Tommy says immediately, Theo hasn’t even had the chance to pout about Tommy possibly not being able to come. “Don’t worry, Teddy Bear. I’ll be there.”

Yeah, completely wrapped around Theo’s finger. Buck gives his head a fond shake.

“Thank you dad!” Theo launches forward and wraps his arms around Tommy’s shoulders, tucking his face into Tommy’s neck and inhaling his scent. After a moment he lifts his head up. “I guess you can come too if you want daddy.” Theo shrugs as he looks at Buck over his shoulder, Tommy’s eyes crinkle as his lips roll together.

“Oh, thanks Theo.” Buck bites back a laugh too. “How magnanimous of you.” Buck watches Tommy chuckle and Theo frowns, moving out of Tommy’s hold to wander back towards Buck.

“What does mang-magni- that word mean?” He asks, eyes lit up with curiosity as he tugs on Buck’s sleeve.

“Magnanimous. Mag-nan-i-mus.” He sounds it out for Theo, who repeats it back slowly. “It means generous, usually towards a rival or someone less powerful than you.” The dictionary definition falls out of Buck’s mouth without him trying to recall it.

“Daddy!” Theo gasps. “You’re not my rival!” He sounds so affronted that Buck can’t help but laugh and scoop him up and into a hug.

“I know, I know! I was teasing you, baby.” He presses kisses across Theo’s face until his little boy is shrieking with laughter and wriggling to get away from him. “Its very nice of you to invite me too, are you sure you don’t just want your dad to come? Have a T and T day?”

Buck looks up at Tommy and finds his boyfriend already watching them, a glowing fondness warming up his face. Something fizzes in his stomach and he presses one last kiss to Theo’s temple.

“No, I want you to come too. We could go for ice cream after?” Theo gives them both a hopeful smile.

“Oh we could, could we?” Tommy darts forward and tugs them both in for a hug and Theo squirms between them as he tries to present his case for an ice cream trip straight after school.

Tommy doesn’t have to take time off in the end, he gets his schedule through the next day and he’s completely free on career day. Buck isn’t sure whether he immediately begged his captain for the day off or if he was just lucky but Buck shouldn’t have doubted that Tommy was going to make it work, even if that meant bending the universe to his will just so he could make Theo happy.

Theo is excited all week, every chance he gets he’s asking Tommy what he’s going to talk about, what he’s going to wear, is he gonna bring pictures because sometimes there’s videos and photos on the board. Tommy looks a little overwhelmed with the amount of questions so Buck gently guides Theo away from the idea that Tommy will come in his flight suit, reminding him that their uniforms usually stay at the station and Tommy gives him a grateful kiss for his efforts later. 

Tommy does have a presentation of sorts though, he has a few photos to share and a YouTube video that shows how Harbor operates that they use for school talks and he’s adorably nervous about it all.

“You talk to groups of kids all the time. This is no different.” Buck reminds him the night before.

They’re curled up together in Buck’s casual nest at Tommy’s, its warm and cosy and it should be relaxing but Tommy is stiff as a board as he thinks about tomorrow.

“Of course its different, these are Theo’s friends, he has to see them all the time. If I mess up he might get teased or he might be upset. He thinks I’m really cool and I don’t want to ruin that.” Tommy twists the sheet in his hands.

“You are cool, objectively, you know. You fly helicopters through hurricanes like its no big deal and you fight sky fires.” Buck smirks and Tommy at least snorts. “You’re not going to disappoint him, babe.” Buck cuts right to the heart of the issue, Tommy has been dodging it all week and Buck feels like its finally time he said something.

“How can you know that?” Tommy is staring at the ceiling and avoiding Buck’s gaze so he’s missing the heart eyes that Buck is sending his way.

“Because you’re showing up. That’s all kids want, right? Isn’t that what we wanted?” He gives Tommy a little nudge and he sighs.

“Yeah.”

“Exactly.” Buck kisses his shoulder. “Theo wouldn’t care if you stood there and told everyone about paint drying, not really. But like I said you give the Harbor presentation to kids all the time, Theo’s friends are going to love it. Plus you already know most of them from his party, they probably already think you’re cool and they’ll behave.”

“You’re sure I won’t disappoint him?” Tommy’s eyes look a little watery and Buck wants to fight anybody who has ever made his boyfriend feel like he wasn't enough.

“I’m sure, alpha.” He leans forward and nips at Tommy’s chin and the other man lets out a surprised grunt, then a laugh. “Now let me cuddle you, roll over.” Tommy does as he’s told and Buck squeezes him close, holding on tight and Tommy finally relaxes in his arms and falls asleep.

Buck ended up being right about Tommy not having to worry. He’s the clear favourite of all the kids the next day. There’s countless questions for him and he even agrees to stay after school has officially finished to answer them all. Even the other parents are hanging onto his story about the wildfires that happened earlier in summer. Tommy doesn’t seem aware of the fact that he’s the star of the day though, he just seems to be excited to talk about his job. Theo is sat right at the front of the classroom, staring up at Tommy like he’s the greatest thing he’s ever seen.

Buck wonders if he should feel jealous. Perhaps in some tiny corner of his heart he does, Theo used to look at him like that but then fire trucks and the faint smell of smoke became everyday to him and maybe one day so will planes and helicopters but right now they’re the most interesting thing Theo has ever heard about. Buck can’t deny that even he finds it a little bit cool too. His boyfriend is the coolest nerd he knows. So he’s not so jealous because Tommy comes home to them, they’re his family.

Tommy glances up at Buck and then the clock behind him and frowns.

“Sorry, I’ve kept you all so long. It really is time to go home.” There’s an echo of groans and even Theo’s teacher looks a bit put out.

“Will you come back, Mr Tommy?” One of the kids asks and there’s another chorus of agreement.

“Oh, erm. Well, I don’t think there’s more career days planned?” Tommy looks nervous as a classroom full of kids stare him down. “But I could ask my station and your school if I could come back for another talk?”

A cheer ripples around the classroom and Theo gets up to throw his arms around Tommy. His dad hoists him up and Theo manages to scrabble around until he’s getting a piggyback ride, arms wrapped around Tommy’s neck and shoulders.

“You ready to go, Evan? I think we promised a certain someone ice cream.” Tommy grins at him and bounces Theo, who gives Buck the same smile.

Buck’s heart twists as he looks at the two of them, so similar with their faces right next to each other. He’s glad that Theo can have this, can have his dad around as well as Buck and be able to rely on him to do what he can for Theo, just like Buck does. Its what Buck had wanted when he was younger, for his parents to care, for them to show up, for them to love him anyway. And Tommy does all of that for Theo without thinking twice. Buck wasn’t thinking about having a baby that first night with Tommy, it was nothing beyond some dirty talk in the bedroom but as the two of them turn around and parade out of the classroom he finds himself grateful that it was Tommy out of anybody.

———

Athena has just landed a plane on the highway and Buck’s ears are still ringing as he helps to control the crowd as they decide if there’s a way to direct traffic around without making everyone turn back. He’s not sure how long its been when his team finally approach him to offer some help.

“Buck!” Eddie shouts and somehow manages gets his attention.

“Yeah?” His limbs are starting to feel heavy but that’s usual on the comedown from an emergency like this one. He doesn’t quite feel faint but he doesn’t exactly feel solid either.

“Guess who else is here right now?” Chim doesn’t wait for Buck to answer. “Your man. The 217 are helping out too.”

“Tommy?” He asks and he tries to crane his neck to get a better look at the other houses on scene but he wobbles and his arms pinwheel as he tries to remain upright.

“Woah, hey, are you alright?” Hen darts forward to catch his elbow.

“Yeah Buck, you’re looking a little sweaty, you feeling okay?” Eddie is frowning at him. Buck is surprised his moustache isn’t twitching.

“Feel hot.” Because suddenly he does. He hadn’t noticed before but he’d been distracted by the massive plane trying to land on the highway but now he feels too warm and a little hazy and out of it. “Feel weird. Dunno what’s happening.”

Hen sniffs the air and her eyes widen. “You’re on suppressants, right? And blockers too?”

“Yeah, why?” Buck blinks at her, his mind still foggy.

“I think they’re failing. I can smell you and, Buck, you smell like heat.” Hen’s eyebrows are drawn together in concern when Buck starts to shake his head because that can’t be true, he’s always careful with his suppressants.

“Evan!” Tommy’s voice suddenly floats across the space towards him.

“Tommy?” He spins around, wobbling slightly, as he tries to find Tommy in the crowd. “Where-“ But then there he is, slipping through the crowd to get to Buck.

“Evan! Are you okay?” Tommy’s hands land on his waist, eyes searching Buck’s face for anything that might tell him something’s wrong. “Wait is that? I thought you were on suppressants.”

“I am! I don’t-“ But Buck doesn’t know what he was going to say because Tommy shifts and Buck catches his scent. The alpha has clearly sweat through his own blockers just like the rest of them probably have and he smells so good. Buck falls forward to try and press his nose to Tommy’s neck. “Smell so good, alpha.”

“Woah.” Eddie reaches out to grab the back of his shirt but Buck smacks his hand away.

“Go ‘way. Not my alpha. Don’t need you guys.” He mumbles, saying half of it into Tommy’s turnout collar.

“He’s sinking fast.” Chim says from somewhere to his left and Buck rolls his eyes.

“‘M not. Just, just being honest. Tommy’s got me.” Buck looks up at his alpha with wide eyes. “Right?”

“Of course.” Tommy assures him quickly and holds him tighter. “Did something happen?” He directs the question half towards Buck and half towards the others.

“I’d say nothing unusual but,” Hen gestures towards the plane nearby. “Were you coming to the end of a cycle?” She asks Buck and he has to focus to think about it.

“Erm. Yes, I think so. But not my planned one to miss.” He remembers.

“High stress might have overloaded them, they’re already working double time around when a heat would fall.” Buck sees Chim approaching out of the corner of his eye and shrinks away and further into Tommy. “I’m just checking you over, Buck. I’m not gonna take you from Tommy.”

“Good.” Buck mutters but he does turn his face so that Chim can check his pupils.

“Still on the edge of it. You probably have time to make it home if you go now.”

Buck turns to look at Tommy. “Do, do you want to, to spend my heat with me?” He asks, suddenly shy.

“Are you absolutely sure?” Tommy asks, cupping his cheek as he makes sure Buck is looking directly at him. Tommy is breathing through his mouth, probably because the scent of Buck’s heat would be a lot this close up. His alpha is on suppressants too but just like Buck’s, there’s always a chance they could fail and that would be the last thing they need at this emergency. “Evan?”

“Yeah? Oh, yes. Of course I’m sure. You’re my al-, boyfriend! Why wouldn’t I want you around?” Buck flushes as he catches the word alpha before it can slip out of his mouth and he makes sure not to look at his friends in case they caught it too.

“Just because I’m your boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to have me there. If you’d rather see it out alone, if you’d be more comfortable-“

Buck whines out a protest, clutching onto Tommy’s turnout jacket. “Want you. Promise. I’ve kinda been thinking about it forever, how good your knot-“

“Okay!” Eddie yelps from behind him. “Tommy, he wants you there. Buck please go home to ride this out before it properly sets in.”

“Yeah, I’ll be riding something.” Buck snarks over his shoulder and his teammates all groan.

“Well, good luck Tommy.” Chim claps the alpha on the shoulder as they start to move away.

“I’ll tell your captain what’s going on.” Hen assures him and then its just the two of them.

“You didn’t answer. Before.” Buck tugs on Tommy’s collar.

“Answer what?” Tommy has pulled out his phone to order a lift and then he thinks better of it and makes a gesture for Evan’s.

"Do you want to spend my heat with me?” He asks more confidently this time, more sure of himself and of what Tommy’s answer will be.

Tommy pauses, thumb poised over Buck’s phone. “Evan.” He sounds like he did at that day in the park when Buck had invited him to Maddie’s wedding. “Yes, I would love to spend your heat with you.”

“Good.” Buck doesn’t even hide that he’s feeling smug about that answer. “What are you doing?”

“You have MetroOmega on here right?” Buck nods. “We’ll use that. Safer than trusting a random Uber.” Tommy is so smart and he smells so good.

It was one of those apps that Buck had downloaded mainly because Bobby had told him too but he hardly ever used it. The drivers were all vetted before they could join up and cars were fitted with air flow systems that made it much easier for them to handle omegas in heat or sometimes alphas in rut but it was typically more omega focused. There were privacy screens too, which Buck was about to take advantage of.

“Oh, fuck.” Buck says as Tommy starts to guide him towards where some traffic has started to move.

“What?” Tommy is still tapping away on Buck’s phone.

“Theo! Carla was watching him until the end of my shift but it finished probably hours ago. Shit!”

“Hey, woah. Hey. Its fine. I’m texting Maddie. Carla dropped him off with the Lees and Maddie is picking him and Jee-Yun up in 20 minutes. She says he’s fine to stay with her until we’re, erm, done.” Tommy turns an adorable shade of pink.

“Oh. That’s good then.” Buck stumbles slightly but Tommy easily catches him and sets him right. “That was hot. That you can just move me around like that. Will you do that later?”

“Evan.” Tommy hisses, looking around as if anyone would hear Buck over all this commotion. “But yes, if you want that.”

“I do. I’ve never been tossed around in bed before. Too big. Want you to do that.” Buck mumbles. “God, am I a terrible parent? I forgot about my son and then I remember and almost immediately start being horny after I know he’s going to be okay?”

“You’re not a terrible parent, Evan. And you’re going into heat, you’re gonna be horny.” Tommy smirks, hand slipping down from Buck’s waist to squeeze his ass and Buck lets out a tiny squeak of surprise that’s followed by a trickle of slick leaking out of him.

Their car eventually turns up and as they crawl closer to Tommy’s place Buck can feel his heat burning brighter. He starts to shuffle around and eventually unbuckles himself so that he can slide into Tommy’s lap. Tommy starts to protest about safety but then Buck is kissing him, shoving his fingers under Tommy’s shirt. Tommy relents and his large hands land on Buck’s ass and pull him closer. Buck moans appreciatively and rolls his hips, already hard and leaking too because his alpha is there under him and kissing him.

He must start to slip into his heat properly because he doesn’t remember much more of the car ride or getting into Tommy’s house. Suddenly he’s in Tommy’s room and he’s far too warm. Without thinking much about it Buck starts to strip, clothes messily thrown into a pile at his feet. He’s hard and aching and he feels so empty. He blinks and Tommy is in the room too, a bundle of fabric and some extra pillows clutched in his arms and his turnout jacket at pants have disappeared.

“In case you wanted to make a nest later.” He offers and Buck licks his lips.

“You’re so thoughtful. So good to me. Alpha.” Buck steps forward and Tommy drops the blankets, already pulling Buck in for a kiss before he can demand one. “Take off your clothes.” He pants between kisses then crawls onto the bed when Tommy starts to unbutton his pants.

“There’s condoms in the drawer.” Tommy’s voice is muffled because his shirt is halfway off.

Buck glances at the drawer and pouts. He wants to feel Tommy properly. “What if we didn’t use them?” He asks instead, sitting up and taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

“What? Evan.” Tommy has one knee on the mattress and he’s frowning down at Buck. “You said you wanted to use them. After Peru and having Theo.”

“I know. I know but I can take the after heat pill and I am on birth control. We should be okay. Theo was a fluke. One I’m very thankful for and love dearly but we’ll be fine. Please, Tommy. I want to feel you in me properly. It’ll help make the heat pass faster too, you know that.” Buck knows how he looks right now, face flushed pink and on his knees in the middle of Tommy’s bed. “I mean if you really don’t want to risk it then fine. Its fine. But I’m okay with no condom for this if you are.”

“Your heat is when we really should be using a condom.” Tommy says slowly but he bites his lip and looks Buck over. “You’re really fine with risking it?”

“Yes!” Buck cries and his heat rears its head for a moment making him whimper. “But its up to you I just need you to get in me. Please! I need your knot yesterday.”

He must sound particularly pathetic because Tommy surges forward and Buck gets lost in a haze again because then he’s on his back and his legs are wrapped around Tommy’s waist. He moans and cries, head tossed back on the pillow as Tommy fingers him.

“I’m ready. Can take it. Feel how wet I am. Leaking. Want you. Now! Tommy, alpha.” Buck lets his legs fall away from Tommy’s waist to spread them wider.

Tommy doesn’t make him wait, instead he lines up and pushes in in one smooth movement and Buck sighs happily, his heat settling for a moment as he’s filled up. Its not enough though and it comes flashing through him again making him sweat and pant and beg Tommy to move. His alpha complies and he’s rocking into Buck. Then Tommy licks over one of Buck’s nipples and Buck yelps in surprise, his eyes rolling back when Tommy leans down and sucks this time. His chest gets extra sensitive during a heat and it doesn’t surprise him that it didn’t take Tommy much time to figure that out. He arches his back so that he can press up into Tommy’s touch, encouraging him to keep going.

He screws his face up as he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling like everything is dialled up to maximum power with his heat behind it. He turns his head, exposing his neck, and his hands scramble to hold onto Tommy, no doubt leaving marks on his alpha’s back. Buck lets himself sink into it for a while, all he’s aware of is Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. How big he feels inside, Buck wants to feel Tommy in his throat, how Tommy’s fingers dig into one of Buck’s thighs to hold his legs open. How good it feels when Tommy moves away from Buck’s nipples to lick over his mating gland. His tongue is rough and wet and Buck feels like the moan that spills over his lips was ripped from somewhere deep in his gut. He clenches tight around Tommy, even his legs snap closed to cling on to Tommy’s waist.

Buck wants it so badly he nearly starts to cry. He wants to have Tommy’s bite, he wants to be claimed, wants to be somebody’s, wants to have somebody. He wants to be Tommy’s. He wants and wants and wants. He moans and grips the back of Tommy’s head, holding his alpha right there against his neck. He lets out a desperate cry when Tommy yanks himself away, his teeth grazing Buck’s mating gland as he moves.

“No!” He whimpers, hands scrabbling to clutch at Tommy.

“Sorry, I- sorry, baby. We didn’t, sorry, omega. Evan.”

“Why not? Tommy!”

“We didn’t, haven’t talked about it.” Tommy is panting, a frown creasing between his brows. “We can’t.”

“But I want it. I want your bite. Wanna be your omega, please alpha.”

“Evan.” Tommy says again, his anguish visible even through Buck’s hazy mind, his voice pained but Buck doesn’t understand. 

Does his alpha not want him?

He must whimper or whine or make some sort of distressed noise because Tommy is over him, pushing him down into the mattress and his warm breath is there against Buck’s mating gland. Yes! He thrusts his neck out as much as he can trying to get Tommy to bite down but his alpha just presses his lips against it, licks it, sucks at it and its not what Buck really wants but it feels nice. Then Tommy is pulling out and Buck whines some more.

“Turn around.” Tommy grinds out. “Present for me, omega.”

And Buck hurriedly complies, mating bite forgotten for now because yes, he wants to get on his knees for his alpha, wants to have his face pressed down into the mattress as Tommy knots him. Its the best way to get a baby out of this, that’s what he’s read and seen online. A thought about waiting and birth control knocks about in the back of his brain but he brushes it aside. He’s having Tommy’s baby, this is what heats are for, he says as much to Tommy as the alpha presses back into him.

“Knot me, alpha. Want you to breed me like this. Best way to make a baby. S’what heat is for.” He mumbles, face already mushed into the pillow but he feels Tommy’s hips snap roughly.

“God, Evan. Omega. You want me to give you another baby?” Tommy asks and Buck nearly scoffs because what else would he want right now?

“Yes! Yes!” He moans, pushing back into Tommy’s hold. “Wanna have your baby again. Want it to take, knock me up. Please.” Maybe if he begs Tommy will do it.

“You’ll look so good. Pregnant, I mean. All round and heavy with my kid again. You want that?” Tommy’s knot is swelling up already and Buck wants it so desperately he can feel the need crawling over his skin.

“I do.” He whines, fisting the sheets. “Didn’t see me last time, didn’t fuck me through it. Want you to see me. Want to do it for you.” He’s not making much sense anymore but Tommy had reached around and started stroking Buck in time with his thrusts and he’s going to come.

He cries out when he does and then he feels Tommy’s knot locking them together. His mind goes blank when he feels Tommy come inside him. With startling clarity Buck makes a mental note to have his birth control reassessed because he doesn’t know how he’s been living without this. He’ll take the risks because it feels so good having Tommy inside him like this. It feels right.

Buck wants another baby with this man so badly but its probably too soon.

“You okay?” Tommy asks, leaning over Buck’s back to nose at his neck. “You back with me?”

“Uh huh.” Buck lowers himself down onto the bed, not caring that there’s a mess underneath him. “Can’t believe I’ve been skipping heats this whole time. That was incredible. Could’ve been getting a knot for years.”

“No.” Tommy grunts behind him. “Just need my knot.”

“Okay, caveman.” Buck turns his head to press a kiss into Tommy’s hair. “Maybe you’re right. Was probably only so good because its you and I-“ Buck pauses because he shouldn’t confess his love mid heat right? That’s usually seen as something you shouldn’t do.

“Course I’m right.” Tommy teases. “You were really in it though.”

“Already told you I want a baby.” Buck says into his pillow, the weight of Tommy across his back and his knot filling Buck up is making him sleepy. “We make cute babies.” He mumbles. “And I look hot. Full,” he yawns, “full of your baby and come.”

“Jesus, Evan.”

“S’true. You want to knock me up again too. You wanna breed me good.” Buck feels his eyes fluttering shut.

“Yeah. I do. Missed it last time.” Tommy admits quietly and Buck nods.

"Knew it. You can, anytime.” And with that he promptly falls asleep, uncaring that Tommy is still laying on top of him.

His unexpected heat lasts a couple of days and he spends it hidden away in his new nest and usually with Tommy’s knot filling him up. Its less intense the second day and Buck manages to last the entire time Tommy is getting them food without whining and pouting but he does insist on Tommy being inside him whilst he feeds him. Its surprisingly nice, intimate, and Buck is quietly glad it happened. He loves being doted on by Tommy and having his every demand met no matter how ridiculous it is. It breaks about 48 hours after the plane emergency landing and they change the sheets and spend too long in the shower and even though its been a nice bubble away from reality they both miss Theo so Buck calls Maddie and begs her to drop Theo off at Tommy’s. Later the three of them fall asleep on the couch with Moana playing in the background.

———

Life after his heat is good. Tommy is around almost every evening he can be and the three of them are back and forth from Tommy’s house and Buck’s apartment throughout the week. Tommy has started to pick Theo up from school if he’s free when Buck can’t and the two of them spend stretches of time alone together. Bobby seems a little miffed that he’s losing some time with his grandson so he’s always the first to volunteer when Buck and Tommy would like to have a date night.

Life was good until Buck got cursed.

It had been nice, having Tommy rush to the hospital and having him fuss over Buck at home. He’d insisted on sleeping out in the living room with him so naturally Theo had insisted too and Buck had watched them over the top of his laptop with a soft smile when Theo had fallen asleep sprawled out over Tommy’s chest.

He was not smiling when Theo had screamed in his face the next morning. The kid had jumped nearly a foot in the air, yelping and running away and straight for Tommy. There had been a close call with a tray full of breakfast food but nothing had broken and then Tommy was there in front of him and also rearing back in shock. Needless to say the boils were grossing Theo out and probably Tommy too. Buck thinks he’s justified in pouting about it because his boyfriend thinks he’s gross and ugly! Its not fair!

“Theo please could you pass the salt?” Buck holds his hand out for it and Theo drops the shaker into Buck’s hand from several inches away. “And can you please look at me, T?”

Theo’s eyes flicker over to him and then skitter away again as he looks back down at his plate. “I gave you the salt, daddy.” He complains, shoving a forkful of peas into his mouth to avoid more talking.

Tommy chuckles from his spot opposite Buck and Buck isn’t above kicking him in the shin.

“I’m glad that you’re finding this funny. Your son won’t even look at me.” Buck stabs a piece of chicken more aggressively than he probably needs to.

“Oh, so he’s my son tonight?” Tommy is still grinning but at least he’s looking at Buck.

“Yes. He is.” Buck stabs another piece of chicken. “These things better disappear tonight like Eddie said.”

“Have you tried saying sorry to Mr Billy? Maybe then he’ll lift your curse.” Theo pipes back up and Tommy sighs, eyes rolling heavenward.

“I can’t believe you’ve got Theo on this curse thing too.”

“It makes sense, dad!” Theo implores. “Daddy, you just need to tell Mr Billy that it was an accident and that you thought he wasn’t real.”

“I'm not sure implying that he was fake would help.” Buck says thoughtfully and Theo frowns.

“Yeah, maybe. How about just the accident part. You forgive me all the time when I do things on accident!” And Theo actually looks at Buck for a moment with a happy smile before he turns to Tommy. “Do you believe in ghosts, dad?”

And that starts a whole new conversation and the three of them stay sat at the dining table for a long time after they’ve finished eating whilst they go back and forth on whether ghosts really do exist or not. They end up agreeing to the idea that they exist (Buck) but they certainly can’t do anything (Tommy) and that Mr Billy Boils probably isn’t a ghost because he’s already a mummy (Theo). It makes Buck forget about his face for a while and Tommy still gives him a goodnight kiss even though Theo skitters away so Buck doesn’t go to bed feeling entirely dejected.

They don’t disappear overnight and Buck isn’t even happy about the money he gets form Eddie because he still has a face full of gross boils and sure Tommy was in a rush this morning taking Theo to school but Buck barely got a be safe kiss from him, Tommy’s attention only landing on him briefly before he bundled Theo into his truck. Then for a while he forgets about the boils because Denny is in danger and there’s little else to think about, not until he’s sat in the hospital and the boils itch so he tries to subtly rub at one.

“Stop picking.” Tommy appears out of nowhere just at the wrong time.

“I’m not picking.” Buck knows he’s whining but Tommy doesn’t call him out on it, instead he almost looks amused as he sits down after handing Buck his coffee, their fingertips brushing just slightly.

Even such little contact sets Buck’s heart racing sometimes. Just the thought that he gets to touch Tommy, that Tommy wants to reach out and brush against him even just for a moment. That Buck is wanted. Sure he’s been wanted before but not like this, not quietly. The thought of telling Tommy he loves him rockets around his head more and more these days, its almost constantly nearly falling out his mouth and he knows its only a matter of time before he blurts it out but they’re coming up to six months, Buck likes to think that’s a completely reasonable time to fall in love with someone so he’ll try and hold on.

“Especially during the bad times.” He finds himself saying to Tommy a few minutes later and it sparks something in his brain and he starts googling how to lay a mummy to rest.

Honestly, Buck impresses himself sometimes. He managed to cobble together a cowboy’s funeral in a short amount of time and even got Tommy to dress up too. Well, all he’d had to do was ask Tommy nicely but still. He thinks his speech was good, maybe great and he has a good feeling as he walks away.

“You don’t think Theo will be mad that we did this without him do you?” Buck asks as Tommy catches up to him, a firm hand coming to rest against Buck’s lower back.

“Well if he is we can always come back and do this again.” Tommy says, opening the passenger door for Buck.

Buck pauses though, turning to face Tommy and they're pressed chest to chest. “You’d do that? You’d come back out here again in your suit and tie and have another funeral for a dead cowboy just because Theo asked?” Buck grabs hold of the lapels of Tommy’s jacket.

“Of course. I did it for you.” Tommy grins at him, nose all scrunched up and Buck loves him. He loves him so much.

“Yeah, you did.” And suddenly Buck doesn’t care about the boils covering his face, all he wants to do is kiss his boyfriend.

So he leans in and Tommy meets him halfway, one hand braced against the car and the other sliding around Buck’s waist. Buck loves having Tommy’s hands on his waist, he loves how they seem to drift there automatically and how safe and secure they feel. Buck was mainly being a little bit of a brat when he complained about Tommy not kissing him, he’s had plenty of kisses all day but its still nice to know even gross boils won’t stop Tommy. 

Maybe Tommy loves him too.

“I am driving you to the nearest dermatologist I can find on the way home by the way.” Tommy says as he pulls back and Buck laughs.

“Fair enough. Thank you for coming. You really didn’t have to.” He still has hold of the lapels of Tommy’s jacket.

“You asked.” Tommy shrugs and Buck feels a rush of heat flash through him. Tommy must notice because his nostrils flare and he shakes his head slightly. “Nope, no way. I am not letting you convince me to fuck in a graveyard, get in the car.”

“Tommy.” Buck whines but he’s being playful, not too upset that Tommy isn’t willing to immediately get down to business. “We could just drive down the road.” He offers and Tommy scoffs as he shuts Buck’s door.

“Or,” Tommy starts as he gets behind the wheel. “I could drive you to see a professional, you don’t complain about it and let them check you out, then I drive us both home and we can have the comfort of our bed and then later we can pick up our son from school and have family dinner.”

Buck feels a thrill at the words our bed and he finds himself easily agreeing to Tommy’s terms. He sits through someone poking and prodding at his face and he accepts the medication they give him, immediately taking a pill before he leaves the office. He hardly complains on the drive back, instead he threads his fingers with Tommy’s and rests them on his thigh so that he doesn’t pick at his face. He points that out to his boyfriend as they arrive at Tommy’s house and Tommy tells him, with stoic seriousness, how good Buck was and Buck races him to the bedroom, both their ties and shoes flying across the living room floor in their haste.

Tommy lays him down on the bed gently, clearly conscious of Buck’s arm and although Buck appreciates it, thinks its sweet, he flips them over once they’re both naked. He’s too eager, too keen and he wants Tommy in him now, he wants it hard and fast and Tommy has this ridiculous habit of taking Evan apart slowly, reverently and as sweet as that is Buck knows what he wants. Tommy lets Buck straddle him, slap his palms against Tommy’s chest and sink down onto him quickly. Buck sighs happily at the feeling of Tommy filling him up and rides him into the mattress, ignoring how his thighs burn and how sweat builds on his skin and instead he relishes how Tommy is likely leaving bruises on his hips, how Tommy’s eyes are slightly glazed as he looks up at Buck and how his knot is something Buck is becoming intimately familiar with.

Later, after Tommy’s knot has deflated and they’ve showered and changed they go to pick Theo up from school together. Buck elects to stay in the car and wait for them there, not wanting to embarrass Theo at school but he can see Tommy from where they’ve parked. He chats to another dad whilst they wait, hands jammed in his pockets but he looks relaxed, laughing and nodding. Then a blur is racing towards Tommy, who kneels down and lets Theo crash into his arms. Their son starts talking immediately, pushing away from Tommy’s hold so that he can gesture wildly and enthusiastically. Tommy nods and holds out a hand for Theo to take as they head towards the car. Theo takes it easily as he babbles, clutching tightly onto Tommy as he waves goodbye to his friends. Tommy is watching Theo with such a fond expression on his face that Buck wants to vomit. 

They’re his guys, the two of them. His family.

The door clicks open and Theo scrambles to get in, Tommy giving him a slight boost so he can slip into the truck. Theo even gives Buck a quick hug from behind before he settles into his seat and asks about Denny and then Billy Boils. The drive home is filled with music and chatter as they give Theo a replay of the funeral and promise to take him to see Denny the next day.

Buck wakes up to a boil free face and Theo curls into him with a guilty apology about avoiding him but Buck easily forgives him after insisting that he’ll need extra hugs today to make up for it. Theo happily obliges and doesn’t even ditch Buck when Tommy heads out to the garden to do some work, instead he curls closer and asks if Buck will watch a show with him about ghosts because the curse has been broken so clearly Billy was listening to them, which means ghosts have to be real and that it didn’t matter that Billy Boils was a mummy he can be a ghost too and Theo wants to know more about them right now.

Tommy is less than impressed when he comes in an hour later to find the two of them nose deep in a YouTube channel about ghostly encounters around the globe. He still sits down and joins them though, scoffing quietly in certain places but after half an hour he’s also invested in the ghost hunter and the three of them waste a few more hours down that rabbit hole before Theo complains about being hungry and they head to the kitchen to make dinner together. 

Tommy puts some music on and sings into a wooden spoon making Theo giggle and clap his hands together, his chubby cheeks flushing pink. Buck gets pulled in to Tommy’s arms and is whirled around the small kitchen as Theo cheers from the countertop. Their son grins up at the two of them and he doesn’t even pull a face when Tommy leans in to kiss Buck, just keeps grinning and kicking his feet against the cupboard door. He nods to himself with a satisfied little grin, then when Tommy has danced Buck around the kitchen once more Theo holds his arms up for his turn. Buck knows he needs to stir the sauce for their pasta but he’s stuck on watching Theo stand on Tommy’s feet and how the two of them bounce around as Billy Joel sings in the background.

Buck loves them. He wants to spend forever in this little sun soaked kitchen with his boys and feeling lighter than air.

———

Its only a couple of days later when Theo comes out of school and looks much worse than he did when Buck dropped him off. He looks pale and he clings onto his teacher’s hand as she leads him towards Buck.

“Hey Buck. I just wanted to let you know that about an hour ago Theo started to say he wasn’t feeling very well. With school so close to finishing for the day we tried to wait it out until pick up but he’s not improved. There is a bit of a bug going round at the moment, takes a few days to pass so I don’t expect to see this guy until next week. I’m sorry he’s caught it.” She looks apologetic as she releases Theo’s hand.

“Its not your fault.” Buck says but he’s already crouching down to get a better look at his kid. “How you doing, buddy?”

“Not good.” Theo sniffles and holds his arms out for Buck.

Of course Buck pulls him in close straight away, feeling his forehead and frowning. He tucks Theo’s head in against his neck so that Theo can sniff at his scent gland whilst Buck listens to his teacher tell him what she knows about the bug. He doesn’t care that if he hasn’t already caught it having Theo close like this will certainly mean he does. He knows that his scent will be helping Theo feel just a tiny bit better so he strokes the back of Theo’s head and carries him to the car.

“I wanna go home, daddy.” Theo sniffs as Buck buckles him in, clutching onto Buck’s shirt tightly.

“Of course, baby. I’m taking you straight away. No stairs today, alright? Straight to bed for a nap.” Buck gently combs his hand through Theo’s hair again.

“No, I want to go home to dad’s house. I want my big bed. It smells like you and dad more than my small bed.” Theo is teary and snotty and Buck is pulling his phone out before he can even think about it.

“Hi Evan. Theo there too?” 

Tommy sounds delighted and fond and so eager to talk to them that Buck briefly feels bad about torpedoing his alpha’s day.

“Hey. He’s here but he’s not feeling great. Caught a bug at school and I’m taking him home but he wants to go to yours. I know you’re on shift until 5 but-“

“You can head over.” Tommy’s answer is immediate and he sounds worried now, Buck can picture the furrow between his brows perfectly. “Do you know what it is? I can pick up something for it on my way home if you want to just get him to bed. There’s stuff in the cabinet in our bathroom, kid friendly stuff, but I don’t know if its the stuff you’d normally have. I know kids can be particular.”

Buck’s heart gives a mistimed flutter over Tommy already having things around specifically for Theo to use. Tommy’s house is now full of Theo-friendly items, Buck shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Whatever you have will be fine. I think we’re just going to have to wait it out. His teacher said the other kids have all bounced back in a few days so far. I don’t think he’ll be any different.” Buck says all of this with a practiced calm only because this isn’t the first time Theo has been sick like this.

Ever since Theo had joined play groups, daycare and now school he’s caught the bugs that go around, its normal, those places are practically petri dishes. It hadn’t stopped Buck completely freaking out the first few times it had happened, scared of the worst case scenario and Bobby had had to talk him off the ledge every time. The tables had turned the first time Jee had the flu, Buck calmly assured Maddie that Jee would be fine and it had weirdly helped him feel like he could handle it better when Theo caught the same flu a couple of weeks later.

“Are you sure? I can finish now, I can come home.” Tommy sounds like he’s walking somewhere and Buck bites his lip, adoration rearing up inside him.

“Its okay, babe. We’ll manage for a couple of hours. Theo is gonna take a nice nap when he gets in and then we’ll have soup for dinner and Theo is gonna have an early night.” Buck says this half to Tommy and half to their son, who gives a sleepy nod.

“I can pick up soup on my way home?” Tommy sounds a little desperate so Buck concedes and lets him buy their dinner.

“You wanna talk to your dad, baby?” Buck asks after Tommy has reminded him where the spare key is hidden and Theo nods.

Buck uses the opportunity to shut the car door and get in behind the wheel. Theo is murmuring quietly to Tommy on the other end of the phone and even manages a quiet giggle at something Tommy must say to him. They hang up once Buck sets off and the car lulls Theo to sleep. Buck doesn’t wake him when he gets to Tommy’s, instead he hops out the car, unlocks the door and then rushes back to scoop Theo out of his seat and carry him through to his bed. He slips Theo’s shoes off then tucks the sheets around him and leaves him to sleep for a while.

He curls up on the sofa, dragging the blanket draped over one of the arms across his lap and turns on the TV to find something to watch as he waits for Tommy to come home. Buck must doze off too because he’s awoken but the sound of the key in the lock and Tommy shuffling into the house.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He calls quietly.

“Tommy.” Buck sits up, tries to stretch out the crick in his neck but isn’t successful, then he gets to his feet.

“Hi.” Tommy sets his bag of soup down and pulls Buck into his arms. “How’s Theo?”

“Sleeping. Or he was,” Buck checks the time, “an hour and a half ago. I’ll go check on him if you dish out the soup?”

“Alright.” Tommy presses a kiss to Buck’s temple then releases him, grabbing his soup bag and heading for the kitchen.

Buck yawns as he makes his way back to Theo’s room. He feels a little fuzzy and warm but maybe he just needs to wake up. He sticks his head into Theo’s room and finds his son curled up on his side, he’s not asleep but he’s not moving either.

“Daddy?” Theo manages to slump around so that he can look at Buck, then he reaches out and Buck hurries towards him.

“I’m here. How you doing? How long have you been awake?”

“Not long. I feel too hot. And my head hurts and my tummy hurts.” Theo snuggles into him, crawling into Buck’s lap and pushing his face against Buck’s scent gland.

“You can have some more medicine after you’ve eaten. Dad has some soup ready for you, you think you can manage a little bit?”

Theo shrugs. “What kind?”

“Tomato.” Tommy’s voice comes from the doorway. “I’ve got some crackers or a grilled cheese if you want them. But if you don’t its okay.” Tommy is hovering at the door but when Theo uncurls from Buck and holds his arms out to Tommy the alpha steps forward and scoops him up. “Aw Teddy. Come here.”

Theo glues himself to Tommy’s scent gland this time and his little body relaxes minutely. Buck doesn’t even feel upset that Theo wanted to be held by his dad and not him because he gets it, everything feels a little better in Tommy’s arms.

He follows his boys to the kitchen and the two of them manage to get a bit of food into Theo so that he can have more medicine. He ends up in Buck’s lap, resting against his chest as he listlessly spoons soup into his mouth and swallows it down. Tommy’s eyes are pinched with worry as he watches their son. Eventually he can’t seem to stop himself from reaching out and scenting Theo, who yawns but leans into it, humming contentedly from his spot sprawled over Buck.

Buck picks at his own food, his appetite fading as his stomach starts to roll and he grimaces to himself. When Theo slides down from his lap to go to the bathroom Tommy rounds on him.

“You’re not feeling great either, are you?” He frowns at Buck but for once Buck doesn’t feel like he’s the cause of disappointment because Tommy’s forehead is still creased with worry.

“I think I may have caught whatever Theo has.” He admits with a wince and Tommy reaches out to feel how warm Buck is.

“I’m glad you came here.” Tommy says as he stands up and gathers their dishes.

“Yeah?” Buck can’t help the warmth that fizzes through him.

“Yeah. I can keep an eye on you both, make sure you’re both fed and medicated.” Tommy closes the dishwasher. “And showered with lo- care and affection.” Tommy runs a hand through Buck’s loose curls and bops his nose gently before he frowns down the corridor. “You think he’s okay?”

“Maybe we-“ But Buck is interrupted.

“Daddy!” Comes a sniffly call. “Dad!”

The two of them rush for the bathroom and find a pale Theo gripping his stomach. Buck ends up delegating to Tommy from his spot curled up on the couch with Theo in his arms. Its much easier to look after his kid with a helping set of hands and the two of them get their promised care and affection as Tommy moves around the house and then eventually settles with them on the couch. He moves them around so that Buck is almost in Tommy's lap and Theo is still held in Buck’s arms.

Buck falls asleep again, Tommy’s couch must have some sort of hidden power, because he wakes up a few hours later with a pounding headache and roiling stomach but he’s in bed, Tommy laid out under him as Buck lays over his chest. He briefly feels bad about exhaling all of his germs all over his alpha but then his stomach protests and Buck rushes for the bathroom.

“Should’ve got you a bucket too.” Tommy mutters behind him when Buck is finished, his hand rubbing soothing circles into Buck's back. “Theo hasn’t woken up though as far as I’m aware. I told him to come in if he needed us.”

“S’good. He’s better to sleep it off.” Buck nods and lets Tommy half carry him back to bed where he passes out again, curled towards Tommy with one arm thrown around his waist to anchor himself to his alpha’s warm heat.

Buck wakes up to Theo pressed against him and no sign of Tommy. He stares up at the ceiling for a moment, convinced that if he doesn’t move it won’t hurt and he hears the faint noises of someone in the kitchen. With a quiet grumble Buck manages to push himself into a seated position, back resting against the headboard as he absently runs a hand through Theo’s hair. 

“Daddy.” Theo whines quietly and then he’s clambering into Buck’s lap.

They’re both too warm but it doesn’t stop them from snuggling together until Tommy comes in to ask if they want their breakfast in bed or in the kitchen. Theo, of course, wants to eat in bed but Buck can see the writing on the wall about crumbs so he lets Tommy carry Theo out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

“You’re gonna get sick, dad.” Theo mumbles as he’s set down onto a stool and Tommy shrugs.

“It’s a risk I’ll take.” Tommy gently bops Theo on the nose just like he did with Buck last night and then presents him and Buck with some plain toast. Buck could kiss him. “Something you should be able to keep down.”

The two of them do manage to slowly chew through their breakfast and then Theo asks if they can watch Frozen so Tommy picks him up again and takes him through to the couch.

“Are you gonna carry daddy in here too? Cause he’s sick as well.” Theo blinks up at Tommy and Buck manages a snort that turns into a huff of surprise when Tommy does actually scoop him up to carry him to the couch too. Theo giggles and claps. “Dad come sit.” He calls and he edges away from Buck so that Tommy can squeeze between them.

The movie passes in a blur and once its done Theo asks if they can put another on so Tommy gathers up some blankets and they all huddle under them, both Buck and Theo curled into Tommy’s sides as they let the noise of the TV wash over them. Buck is even more endeared to his boyfriend when he looks up and sees how focused Tommy is on Toy Story.

“I'm sorry our family day out has turned into a movie day in.” Buck mutters when Theo falls asleep halfway through the film.

“I don’t mind.” Tommy says just as quietly, turning to nuzzle into Buck’s curls. “I’d rather you both weren’t sick but as long as we’re together I’m happy.” Theo shifts next to Tommy but doesn’t wake up.

“You’re sweet.” Buck rolls his eyes then regrets it. “But me too.”

“Hey, let me make you guys some soup this time. Its probably time you guys had more medicine and its better on a full stomach. Nonna never failed with her chicken noodle soup I always felt better.” Tommy starts to carefully manoeuvre Theo so that he can stand up. “And we could watch The Sound of Music. I always watch that when I’m sick.” He glances at Buck. “Or hungover.” He laughs to himself then heads off towards the kitchen.

Buck clings onto the little scrap of information about Tommy and stores it away in his brain for later. Maybe, if Theo likes the film, it could be their thing. Their family tradition whenever one of them is sick. Buck would’ve loved that as a kid. Theo is awake when Buck looks down to check on him.

“What’s The Sound of Music?” He asks and Buck frowns.

“You weren’t asleep, were you?” Theo just stares up at him with big, innocent eyes and Buck huffs fondly. “Its an old movie. I think its got songs in it.”

“Evan!” Tommy gasps from where he’s walking back towards them with two glasses of water. “You’ve never seen it?”

“No?”

“Well we’re definitely watching it today then. There are songs in it, Teddy. I think you’ll like it.”

“Is there kissing in it?” Theo screws up his face a little and Buck nearly scoffs because Theo has never had a problem with kissing in movies before.

“A little bit.” Tommy suddenly looks unsure.

“So its a rom-, romance?” Theo looks at them both to check he’s right and they both nod. “A romance movie? Like Love Actually?”

“Isn’t that a Christmas movie? And when did you watch that?” Buck isn’t pouting but Tommy still laughs a little.

“You can watch Christmas movies any time of the year you know. And you were at work.”

“Let’s watch it!” Theo declares suddenly, eyes darting back and forth between his parents. “I want to watch the movie!” 

Buck and Tommy exchange a glance but then easily agree to it as long as Theo eats his soup and has his medicine without complaining. Theo does just that, inhaling his soup then coughing miserably when it makes him feel sick. He plants himself in Tommy’s lap when they sit back down on the couch and he looks like he’s about to fall asleep until Buck hits play. From the opening shot of the Austrian mountains both Theo and Buck are entranced. Buck curls into Tommy’s side and every now and then when he can force himself to look away from the TV he glances up at Tommy, who is also focused on the movie, his hand absently rubbing Theo’s back and Buck’s arm in sync. Theo sits up straighter as the wedding plays out, eyes flicking between his parents but neither of them notice.

“Does everybody who’s in love get married?” Theo asks and its the first time he’s spoken throughout the film.

“Hm? Not everyone, no.” Tommy says, his hand sliding up to toy with the end of Buck’s curls.

“Why not?”

“Sometimes people don’t want to get married but they’re still in love.” Buck says, eyes still glued to the TV. “Or it doesn’t work out.”

“Can people fall out of love?” Theo asks.

“They can do but these guys will be fine.” Tommy assures him gently and holds him tighter. Theo frowns a little but a flash of colour on the TV steals his attention and he forgets his line of questioning. “You guys like it then?” Tommy asks a few minutes later and both Buck and Theo shush him.

Tommy chuckles and sinks into the couch cushions, bringing Theo and Buck closer into him and neither of them complain. Even once the screen goes dark the three of them stay curled together until Theo runs off to the bathroom, kneeing Tommy in the crotch as he goes and Buck winces in sympathy. Buck’s head still feels cottony and his stomach protests every time he moves too quickly and he’s too warm but he’s also shivering so he whines about it and Tommy rubs his forehead for him until Theo comes back.

The rest of the evening is spent in a sickly haze and Tommy forces both of them to bed. He helps Theo change into clean pyjamas and freshens his sheets for him. Tommy scents the stuffed toy Theo has clutched in his hands and then scents their son before he tucks him into bed. Then he does the same for Buck, minus the stuffed toy.

“Hey.” Buck mutters when it looks like Tommy is about to leave him in bed.

“Yeah? You okay?” Tommy sits down on the edge of the bed and cups Buck’s face, a soft thumb caressing his flushed cheek.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?” Buck feels a bit pathetic asking when even their son didn’t feel it necessary but Tommy just smiles and nods.

“Of course.”

Its been about a month since Buck’s unexpected heat and neither of them have brought up Buck wanting Tommy’s bite since. Its not an elephant in the room exactly but Buck has felt the thought percolating in the back of his mind ever since and it suddenly comes racing to the forefront. Because Tommy is so good to him and to Theo. Tommy cares about them, puts their needs first when he wants or needs to and does it without complaint. He’s the best partner Buck has ever had and he wants it forever. 

He wants all his days with Tommy right there, he wants to repay the favour the next time Tommy is sick and snotty and laid out in bed like Buck currently is. He wants to know that Tommy will be there when Buck is down for the count with another infection that Theo brings home from school or that he picks up from work. He wants to be taken through the rest of his heats with Tommy by his side. He wants another kid. He wants to stay right here in this bed with Tommy. He wants a mating bite. He wants more of Tommy’s homemade soup. He wants to come home to Tommy sitting on the couch waiting for him. He wants to sit on the couch and wait for Tommy to come home, to greet him with a kiss as Tommy walks through the door. Buck wants so much with Tommy, wants it all. And a bite isn’t necessary really but Buck yearns for it anyway.

“I-“ He starts and he’s willing for once to let the words fall out, to let them spill from his lips and float across to Tommy, to wrap the alpha in those words and pray that Tommy will say them back.

“Dad.” Theo calls from the hallway, sounding sad. “I feel sick again.”

Tommy runs a hand through Buck’s hair before he stands up and rushes off to collect Theo. Buck listens to them move towards the bathroom and he sinks into his pillows. He should get up, look after his son, his kid, but Buck’s body feels like it weighs a ton and he thinks if he moves too quickly he might also be sick so he waits for his guys to come back. Because Theo will ask Tommy if he can lay down with Buck and Tommy will let him because he can’t say no to Theo.

Not five minutes later Theo is curling up next to Buck, sniffling a little and his eyes are wet with unshed tears. Buck tucks the sheets up to Theo’s chin and cuddles him close. They’re both sweaty but that just means neither of them care and they fall asleep like that.

Buck wakes up to Theo starfished out across the bed, Tommy marooned on the couch because there was no room for him in his own bed. Both of them feel more like themselves though and manage to drag themselves to the kitchen for breakfast. Theo walks ahead of Buck, passing through the house like its his own and Buck thinks that they could all live here so easily. It would be simple to move over here, to pack up their stuff and bring it all to Tommy’s house, there’s room for it. For them. Spaces have already been easily carved out for them to fit into.

Maybe Buck can’t ask for a bite yet, maybe its too soon and he’s trying to hold in his love confession until their anniversary but maybe they could move in together and this could be their life all the time. Not the struck down with a mystery illness but the three of them, unhurried as they eat breakfast, no need to pack their bags to drive across town to stay somewhere else for a while. No coordinating who’s is closer or the easiest to get home to after they’ve gone out, they just go home together to one place, the three of them.

———

Buck thanks his lucky stars that he managed to recover in time for his and Tommy’s six month anniversary. Tommy had been lucky enough to somehow avoid catching anything from them, despite both Theo and Buck being all over him for hugs and kisses. But luckily their anniversary dinner is going to go ahead just like Buck planned it. He can’t decide if he’s nervous or just excited. He thinks he might tell Tommy tonight that he loves him, six months feels less insane of him and he’s not sure he can keep it in any longer. Every time he looks at Tommy these days he feels the words burning in his throat, desperate to roll off his tongue and into the space between them.

Theo is riffling through his overnight bag and Buck was taken aback at first when he was packing it up and realised how much of Theo’s stuff had migrated over to Tommy’s house. It had been easy to gather up a fresh set of clothes, some pyjamas and all of Theo’s toiletries for his sleepover with Bobby tonight. Even Theo’s beloved teddy bear sits on top of his bag.

“What you looking for, Teddy?” Tommy wanders into the living room and comes to a stop beside Buck.

They’ve both been ready for their date for about ten minutes now, wanting to make sure that they could head off immediately after Bobby picks Theo up because LA traffic is a nightmare and even though they’ve kept things casual they don't want to miss their reservation.

“Making sure I have my game.” Theo had recently discovered Uno and Buck had neglected to mention to Bobby that his night is going to consist of approximately six games.

“You gonna wipe the floor with your grandpa tonight? You think you can beat Athena too?” Buck asks and Tommy snorts next to him.

“I’m an Uno champ.” Theo says seriously, parroting Tommy from a few nights before.

“You sure are, Teddy Bear.” Tommy indulges him, ruffling his hair when Theo ambles back towards them.

“Do you want us to call you later tonight, baby?” Buck kneels down so he’s level with Theo, who scrunches up his nose.

“I’m a big boy now you don’t need to.” Buck feels his heart breaking just a little because Theo is going through a phase right now and Buck hates it, he’s always going to be Buck’s baby no matter what. “But if you want to you can.” Theo adds benevolently as he eyes Buck.

Tommy lets out a laugh and his hand settles back into Theo’s curls. “Thanks, kid. You’re really making us feel loved. It’s like you’re not even going to miss us tonight.”

“I will miss you, dad. And you too, daddy.” Theo looks adorably sincere. “And I’ll miss staying here, I like living here.”

“I’m glad, buddy.” Buck squeezes Theo’s wrists gently.

“We could live here all the time.” Theo says then, looking at the two of them hopefully. “We’re here all the time. And when we were both sick dad looked after us and I liked being at his house even when I was sick. And I like the garden and I like when you pick me up from school together. You do all the things the married parents do. I think you should get married and then we can live together all the time and I can bring all my stuff here and there’s no stairs.” Theo blinks up at them. “Are you gonna get married? When are you gonna do it? Are you gonna be mates after?”

Buck turns to look up at Tommy, a smile already playing on his lips and ready to make a joke about Theo’s questions but then he catches a glance of Tommy’s expression before it clears. The alpha looked worried, maybe even a little sad, his face pinched before it relaxed into a small smile.

“Unfortunately for you, I think that’s something for your dad and I to discuss, kid.” Tommy gives Theo’s curls one finally ruffle before dropping his hand back to his side.

Both Theo and Buck frown. Buck’s heart is thrumming too quickly. What was that look for? Does Tommy not want to get married? Buck knows he didn’t want to bite him during his heat but he thought it was maybe just too soon, that Tommy would want to be mates eventually but doesn't he? His heart sinks and he swallows quickly, trying to stop the sting of tears before Theo notices.

“Why? I thought we were a family, you said so. I thought-.” Theo looks confused and Buck remembers his little remarks here and there about true loves kiss, his enthusiasm to watch a kissing movie, the way he made a point to tell Buck and Tommy which of his friends parents were married when they’d come to career day.

Buck swallows again as his heart lurches.

“Theo.” Tommy starts, a nervous lilt to his voice and Buck slowly stands up.

Tommy doesn’t say anything else straight away though and he looks a little lost for words. Silence blankets the room and Buck winces slightly. Thankfully there's a knock on the door and that clears some of the tension as Theo yells for Bobby, thoughts about marriage and mating slipping from his mind for now. He tears out of the living room and flies towards the door before coming to a sudden halt and looking back at his parents.

“Who is it?” He shouts and Tommy and Buck both manage a small chuckle.

“Its Grandpa Bobby!” Bobby’s voice filters through the door and Theo reaches for the handle and flings it open.

“Lets go!” He wraps his arms around Bobby’s legs and looks up at him.

“You eager to leave or something, kid? Where’s your bag?” Bobby manages to loosen Theo’s hold enough that he can kneel down to his level.

“Got it here.” Tommy picks it up and walks towards the two of them, handing the bag over to Bobby. “And Teddy I’m still trying not to be offended about how much you want to leave.”

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I’ll miss you though.” Theo reiterates as he pouts up at Tommy in a perfect imitation of Buck and Buck watches Tommy crumble as he bends down to hug and kiss their son before its Buck’s turn to swoop in and do the same.

After they say their goodbyes and they drive over to Micelli’s. Its a nice evening and Tommy even got him a present, which Buck wasn’t expecting and it made his heart flip flop over itself that Tommy was just as excited to celebrate six months as Buck was. They don’t talk about getting married though or bonding and the topic sits heavy on Buck’s tongue all evening. It doesn’t stop him from dragging Tommy through the house when they get home though, they don’t even make it the bedroom too eager for each other and knowing they won’t be interrupted. Its a nice night, a good night but as Buck lays back with Tommy’s head on his chest and absentmindedly running his fingers through Tommy’s curls he stares at the ceiling. Both of them are awake but neither of them say anything. Silence curls around them and its the first time that Buck has second guessed his future plans for them and he falls into a fitful sleep.

And like the annoying, clingy little brother he is he runs to Maddie the first chance he gets the day after their anniversary. Buck snorts as he hears her voice in his head telling him not to say that about himself but right now it feels true. He’d said goodbye to Tommy earlier after waving him off to work then basically fled to find Maddie.

“What if he doesn’t want me?” Buck taps his coffee cup against the table and he hears Josh laugh loudly from somewhere behind Maddie.

“Ignore him.” She smirks. “But he’s also right. Tommy is obsessed with you. In a good way of course.”

“Then why didn’t he say anything? I mean I know Theo was the one to mention it but the topic was out there on the table and he just sort of froze and brushed it off. I want him to love me and I want to get married and I want to bite him and I want to have his babies!” Buck doesn’t mean for his voice to get louder as he talks but his anxiety grows as he goes.

“Well, you’ve already done half of those things.” Maddie points out and Buck glares at her.

“Theo, so having his child is checked off. You’re both head of heels in love, so that’s checked off-“

“Maddie.” Buck groans and she shakes her head.

“You are. Its obvious to anybody with eyes.”

“Even I know.” Josh says as he takes a sip of his coffee, eyes darting between Buck and Maddie like they’re his favourite TV show.

“I’m surprised you’ve not said anything yet.” Maddie says, head tilted as she looks at Buck.

“It was too soon.” He says weakly, swallowing and looking down into his coffee cup and decidedly not mentioning that he did say something during his heat.

“You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person, Evan.” Maddie’s words are gentle and she reaches out to squeeze his forearm with equal softness. “Talk to him, tell him what you want. He talked to you at the start of summer, maybe he’s waiting for you to go first this time.”

Buck nods because that makes sense and Tommy has never been unkind to him. Plus, Buck wants to know where Tommy’s head is, he wants to know that they both want the same things, he wants, needs, the reassurance. Tommy has always offered it before and so yeah, maybe Buck should finally say something. With that thought in mind he goes home, texting Tommy about a date after their next shift is over.

———

He can’t deny that he’s nervous as he waits for Tommy. Theo was whisked away by May earlier this evening and the two of them were already conspiring before they'd even got out of the door. Buck isn’t entirely sure he likes having a little sister. 

That’s a lie. Buck loves having a little sister.

He paces the length of his kitchen as he decides what he’s going to say to Tommy. He’s going to tell him that he loves him that’s for sure. He’d chickened out on their anniversary because he was so thrown off but he’s going to do it tonight, now before they go. And he’s going to talk to Tommy about moving in together because it makes sense for them, for their family so he’s going to brave and he’s going to be vulnerable and talk.

He jumps when Tommy knocks on his door. Although the apartment is starting to feel like it isn’t even his anymore. He spends less and less time here and sometimes it feels like it belongs to someone else entirely. Less of Theo’s toys and other things are left laying about because they’re at Tommy’s house now and some of Buck’s photos of Theo and himself have even migrated over there too. 

“Hey.” Tommy looks pleased to see him at least, darting forward to peck his lips before he hustles into the room. “I got a parking spot right outside so I think we should take an Uber to the movie so I don’t lose it.”

Buck loves him so much, Tommy is such a dork.

“S-sure. But, ah, can we talk first? It won’t take long but-” Buck gestures towards the island and Tommy raises an eyebrow but follows him, taking a seat on one of the stools as Buck hovers close by.

“Okay, what did you want to talk about?” Tommy asks, hands clasped on the counter in front of him but he still looks relaxed and loose, he leans towards Buck slightly as he looks up at him.

“So, erm, well I started thinking. The other day. After, well before I suppose but our anniversary dinner. And really I’ve been thinking about it for a bit before then too but,” Buck watches Tommy cock his head to the side as he tries to follow along with Buck’s rambling, “what I mean is, well. Theo brought it up I guess, about living together, the three of us.” Buck gives Tommy an imploring look as his boyfriend straightens up, hands unclasping and flattening against the counter. “And, and, he talked about getting married, us two, and I just,” Buck moves forward and almost stumbles over his own feet. “I want you to move in with us. Or well, I want us to move in with you but it feels a bit presumptuous to ask that of you but, but.” He trails off because Tommy looks a little green around the edges, his lips pursed slightly and then he lets out a slow breath. “Tommy?”

“I, Evan.” That’s all Tommy gets out before he sits up, his spine straightening and Buck gets a brief flash of Tommy the soldier. “I don’t- I can’t- you’re so sweet but I can’t move in with you guys.”

Buck feels his heart twist and shudder in his chest.

“Well, y-yeah. We’d come to you, unless you’d wanna find somewhere totally new but Theo already loves your-“

“Evan.” Tommy gently interrupts and Buck feels his lip wobble because he doesn’t know what’s happening. 

He thought this was serious, he thought that’s what Tommy wanted.

But maybe not because Tommy didn’t want to bite him and Tommy doesn’t want them to move in together. Or maybe he’d want Theo, maybe Buck is the issue. He’s always the issue.

“Evan.” Tommy says his name again and he says it so kindly and it makes Buck want to vomit. “Its not you.”

“Right.” Buck interrupts, harsher than he meant. “I've heard that one before.”

“No, I mean it.” Tommy twists so he’s fully facing Buck and his hand reaches out across the island for Buck’s. “I, I’m the problem here, its not you. Or Theo. Please believe me.”

“I don’t get it. I thought you were serious, I thought, I thought this was it? For, for both of us.” Buck does let Tommy’s fingers brush over his before he thinks better of it and snatches his hand back to his side, watching Tommy’s face fall even more.

“It is, was, is.” Tommy stutters and Buck has never seen him so unsure and if his heart wasn’t already twisted up and shrinking he’s sure it would squeeze in sympathy for Tommy. “I am serious, Evan. I promise. But living together, its a big step and so is getting married.”

“I know that.” Buck snaps and then bites his lip, sucking in a calming breath. “Sorry.”

“You’re allowed to be mad.” Tommy tries and it just makes Buck feel angrier, he turns his head away and clenches his fist tight. “Sorry, I. That sounded condescending as fuck. I just-.” Tommy’s leg is bouncing, Buck can see it out of the corner of his eye.

“You just what? Because I thought we wanted the same thing. I know its maybe sooner than some people would take this step and if you need more time I’ll get over it, I can wait. But we’re 30-something year olds, Tommy. I, I don’t need more time. I know what I want. And we know Theo is fine with it, he’s basically obsessed with you. And I really do think it would be better for him if we all lived under one roof but, but I can live without that for a little longer.” It feels like chewing sand, saying all of that but Buck is being honest, he can respect Tommy’s boundary if that’s where it is but he’ll hate every minute of it.

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Tommy mutters and Buck snaps his head back around to look at him.

“What is?”

“I’m the cool guy. I’m Theo’s dad who can fly helicopters and planes and I’m a firefighter and I take him to these places and show him these old movies that I like and I buy him the books he wants to read. And I’m your cool boyfriend who knows a great place to take you for a fun date and I can fly you around and make you come seven ways to Sunday and I’m the only knot you’ve ever had! Evan!” Tommy’s voice has become increasingly louder and more fraught. “Being in someone’s space, in a shared space all the time, its different. I’m not cool and in the long run I’m only going to disappoint you. And Theo. And moving in is going to speed that process up so much and forgive me for wanting to keep you both for just a bit longer.”

Tommy looks as devastated as Buck feels because how could Tommy think that? How could Tommy possibly think that he won’t ever be enough for Buck, for Theo, exactly how he already is.

“I love you.” Buck finds himself blurting out and that’s not how he was supposed to tell Tommy but its not untrue and Tommy needs to hear it.

“What?” Tommy looks a little taken aback, which Buck doesn’t understand because he’s Tommy and Buck is his Evan, Tommy is Evan’s and Buck is Tommy’s and has been for so long, so why is Tommy surprised that Buck’s in love with him?

“I love you.” He says again as he comes around to sit on the stool next to Tommy’s, almost in his alpha’s lap as he leans forward. “I’m in love with you.”

“I, what?” Tommy still looks confused and it breaks Buck’s heart.

“I’ll say it until it sinks in. I love you, Tommy Kinard. I love you so much. I know you’re not Mr Cool Guy, believe me. I’ve just seen you get excited about a parking spot. I know you want to throw up every time Theo shows you a worm or a bug. You have incorrect Star Wars opinions and you’re always quoting really shitty movies that you make me watch and I sit and watch them because I love you. You like your coffee so black I worry for your heart health and you have obnoxious opinions about Italian food and I don’t care. You’re definitely not cool to me but I don’t want you to be. You don’t have to be. I want you to be mine. Ours. I know living together is different to what we have now but I already know you stack a dishwasher in a horrible way and I hate it but I’m willing to put up with it because you’re going to put up with me finally rearranging your kitchen because it drives me insane. We’re going to make it work. Not just for Theo but for us too. Right?”

“Right.” Tommy lets Evan tangle their hands together. “I, did you just insult me? I can’t tell?”

“I just told you I love you, idiot.” Buck snorts. “And that you’re enough. Just as you are, you’re enough for me. And for Theo too.”

“Your idiot though.” Tommy grins suddenly and its like the sun breaking through a raincloud. “And I love you too. I love you so much too. I love you.”

Buck’s cheeks ache from how wide his smile is. Then it fades a little because its not just about moving in and living together.

“I want you to be my alpha and I want to be your omega. I want to be your mate. I want to get married. I want another baby. I want Theo to be happy but I want you to be happy too. So if you don’t want any of that, then I still love you but I don’t think we should be together like this because I can’t be with you and not be yours in every way I can be. It would kill me, Tommy.”

“Evan.” Tommy’s voice cracks. “I thought, during your heat, when you wanted me to bite you. I thought it was just your heat talking. And, and then we never talked about it after either.” He gives Buck a slightly desperate look.

“I meant it. I swear I did. I wanted you to bite me so badly. But I didn’t want you to feel forced into it or something and you distracted me pretty well if I remember correctly.” Buck gives Tommy a sly grin and his boyfriend shakes his head.

“You’re something else.” He mutters almost talking to himself. “Actually you’re incredible and I’m not sure what I did to deserve you-“

“Hey. That’s my alpha you’re talking about.” Buck leans forward to nudge Tommy and watches a wide, scrunchy grin spread across his face.

“Your alpha, huh?” He gazes fondly at Buck and watches him wince.

“Sorry, you didn’t even say if you wanted-“

“I do.”

“What?”

“I do want all of what you said earlier. Of course I want to get married and if you’re willing then I have no problems giving you another baby. I want you for the rest of my life, Evan.” Tommy looks serious, he’s making sure Buck is looking at him and soaking in every word.

“Really?” Buck’s heart is trying to beat out of his chest and he feels like he could float off his stool he's so happy.

“Yes, really.” Tommy cups his cheek and Buck can’t resist anymore, he leans forward and presses his lips to Tommy’s.

Its slow and sweet, there’s nothing more too it, not yet. Its one of the best kisses Evan has ever had because its full of love, full of promise and he already adores this type of kissing, he never wants to stop.

Tommy pulls back slightly and Buck whines.

“Move in with me." Tommy says against his lips. “I want you and Theo to move in with me.” Buck laughs. A gleeful, loud one ripping right out of him and he throws his arms around Tommy’s shoulders. “Wow, Evan.”

“Sorry.” Buck leans in and kisses Tommy once, twice, a final time before he pulls back to look at him. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m just happy. Ask me again.”

“Will you move in with me, Evan Buckley?” Tommy’s grip on him tightens but his expression is amused more than anything.

“Yes.” He kisses Tommy again. “Theo is going to lose his mind.”

“I better not tell him that I want to marry you as soon as you’ll let me then.”

“I’d let you take me down to the courthouse right now if I didn’t know Theo would throw the biggest tantrum this town has ever seen.” Buck feels like he's glowing, shining from somewhere deep in his chest as he gazes at Tommy.

“Probably for the best. Your ring is back at home anyway.” Tommy grins at him and Buck slides his hands around so that he can grip Tommy’s shirt collar.

“Tommy Kinard!” He nearly shouts, aghast at Tommy having a ring and also coming here tonight thinking Buck didn’t want him for the rest of his life. “You cannot be serious right now.”

“Mmm. I won’t tell you when I bought it then.” Tommy teases. “Just because I thought you’d get sick of me doesn’t mean I didn’t let hope win out for a crazy minute.”

Buck rolls his eyes and yanks Tommy forward by his shirt. When Tommy pulls away from him his lips are red and swollen and Buck wants to dive back in but Tommy stops him.

“I want to be your mate too. I didn’t say before. But I do. I want to do it all with you. Everything you said earlier and I want your bite and I want to give you one too. Whatever you want, Evan.” Tommy looks incredibly sincere and Buck loves him, he loves him.

“I know.” He says quietly and then he says it because he can, because Tommy loves him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Tommy responds immediately and Buck starts to walk backwards towards his room.

“You can keep your parking spot, let’s forget the movie.” He says, tongue flicking out to lick his lips as Tommy stumbles after him, one palm braced against the wall as Buck yanks him down the corridor.

“What movie?” Tommy asks as his eyes focus on Buck’s mouth.

They tumble into Buck’s room and eventually land in his bed, clothes strewn around the room and the mattress squeaking beneath them. Its some of the best sex they’ve ever had, the promise in every movement, in every touch. Buck feels the love pouring off him and off Tommy too, and he bathes in it, soaks it up eagerly and knows Tommy is doing the same. Its slow and drawn out in the best way, both of them want it to last and last, want the moment to drag out forever and they give it their best shot but eventually it ends and they lay there together in the quiet of Buck’s bedroom.

Theo is, of course, overjoyed when they tell him the next day that he and Buck are going to move into Tommy’s house. He yells and tries to hug them both whilst also trying to do a victory dance and he runs off to start packing up his things before either of them can tell him they don’t exactly have a timeline yet. That is until Tommy looks and Buck and shrugs, tells him that they can move in that day if they want, Tommy wants them around as soon as possible and he’s willing to do some of the heavy lifting if it gets them there quicker. So they move in that day and Buck is home. They sit on Tommy’s- their couch that night and Buck makes a list of what they’re keeping and selling and Theo is discussing paint options for his room with Tommy and this is their home.

Buck leans into Tommy’s warm palm that’s wrapped around the back of his neck as he puts his list down. He looks around until his gaze falls on his guys and he curls closer to Tommy, gripping Theo’s ankle gently.

“I love you.” He whispers. “Both of you.”

“We love you too!” Theo’s answer is bright and enthusiastic, happiness rolling off him as he too glances around the living room.

“We do.” Tommy reiterates and slides his arm down so he can curl his hand around Buck’s hip.

There’s already pictures of Theo dotted around the house, there’s a couple of just Buck and Tommy too. Buck stares at one of the three of them that sits on the bookshelf. That’s his family and just the thought makes Buck feel warm and fuzzy and his neck aches to feel Tommy’s teeth bite down and his ring finger feels empty but soon. His keys already hold the extra weight of their house key now and he has some paperwork to sort out his change of address waiting for him to do tomorrow at work but right now Buck is happy to stay curled up on their couch, in their living room, in their house.

———

In the end it wasn’t his heat that got them, it was actually the meds he’d been given to help with the boils. They’d somehow messed with his birth control and by Christmas they’d realised that another baby was on the way. Neither of them are all that upset about it, Buck is probably more annoyed that he’s two for two on accidental pregnancies but apparently so is his sister so he’s managing to laugh about it. 

Tommy cried when Buck told him he thought he might be pregnant again, which had set Buck off and Theo had come into the kitchen to find them both crying and hugging. He’d immediately joined in with the hug, asking what was wrong and huffing when neither of them would tell him. He’d been excited about having a baby bother or sister when they’d eventually told him the news though. He’s taken to teaching Jee-Yun how to be a big sister because Theo claims he’s had plenty of practice being a big brother already because of her.

The months had passed by and light duty hadn’t even bothered Buck much this time because he could talk to Tommy when he wasn’t on calls and Maddie too and Bobby let him take over cooking for the station so there was always something for him to do. Both he and Tommy had been a little worried about Theo’s birthday, the kid was excited about having a sibling but it also hadn’t affected his day to day life much yet but he’d wanted to go horse riding for his birthday this year. He was in a massive cowboy phase at the moment, Billy Boils was far enough in the past that the memory of Buck’s face had been cleared from Theo’s mind and instead intrigue over the Wild West had remained. Normally Buck would’ve been the first to volunteer to ride with Theo but being seven months pregnant had firmly taken that choice away from him.

Instead it was Tommy that had reluctantly stepped up to go with Theo. He’d confessed to Buck the night before that he wasn’t really a fan of horses, not for any particular reason other than he’d never spent much time around them but Buck had reassured him that it would be fine. And it had been, Tommy and Theo had spent a couple of hours trotting back and fourth whilst Buck stood by the gate and took way too many pictures and videos that he spammed Bobby and Maddie with all afternoon.

He was sending through his final photos when Tommy made his way over to him after having taken his horse back to the stable.

“Sorry you couldn’t ride today sweetheart, I know you miss it sometimes.” Tommy is leaning against the gate, fingers hooked in his belt loops and ankles crossed, face serene.

Buck gives his alpha a flirty smile and tilts his head. “Now who said anything about me not riding today, I know there’s someone I can take a ride on anytime.”

Tommy barks out a laugh and shakes his head, pushing off the gate and bringing his hand up to rest on Buck’s bump. “Careful honey, isn’t that how you ended up like this?”

Buck elbows him as they both dissolve into giggles, Tommy’s hand sliding down to cup under Buck’s belly and Buck leans into him.

“Hey, my big strong alpha needs a reward for doing so well and being so brave getting on a big scary horse today. I think he deserves a ride of his own.” Buck licks his lips as he gives Tommy a slow once over.

“Yeah? Is my omega gonna give me a kiss then, to make the wait easier?” Tommy tilts his head forward and Buck meets him halfway.

“Dad! Daaaaad! Daddy too, over here! They do lessons, can I please, please, please sign up? Dad!” Theo’s voice is echoing across the paddock and with a glance at each other they head towards him, their hands tangling together as they go.

They take Theo out for a birthday dinner then drop him off at Bobby and Athena’s as per his request. When Bobby had asked what Theo would like for his birthday all he’d wanted was a sleepover. There had been an incident at a lab a couple of weeks ago, a close call that had left them all shaky, the kids included even though they didn’t know what had happened but they’d sensed the tension in the air. Bobby hadn’t been able to deny Theo, especially once he’d been allowed to leave the hospital. So Buck and Tommy lavished their son in hugs and kisses and said their goodbyes as he tore into Bobby and Athena’s new place.

Buck made good on his promise once they got home, he’d slowly stripped out of his clothes, showing off just a little as Tommy sat and watched. He’d settled himself in Tommy’s lap, maybe a more difficult task than it would’ve been even a couple of months ago but he’d managed. Then after a while Buck had pushed Tommy to lay back on the bed and ridden him slowly, tortuously until they’d both come, Tommy’s knot locking them together. Large, gentle hands caressed his bump and Buck leant back against Tommy’s legs until they could both move again.

Taking time away from the station didn’t feel so bad this time. Buck had an adorable son at home who was beyond excited to see his dad at more regular hours and he had a mate that came home exhausted but also ecstatic to see him. Tommy would let Theo barrel into his legs, one hand ruffling his hair before he leant down to press a kiss to the top of his head, which allowed Buck time to make his way to the front door. Then Tommy would lean in, cup Buck’s cheek and greet him with a kiss too. His hand would run down to rub a greeting against Buck’s stomach and then Theo would drag him into the house, already talking a mile a minute about his day. The routine varied depending on Tommy’s hours but once Buck got into the final stages of pregnancy Tommy took a week of PTO to be around and it was one of the best weeks of Buck’s life.

Sure he felt heavy and tired and he was impatient to meet their second child but the three of them spent that last week in each other’s pockets. Theo was almost vibrating with excitement over getting a sibling at last, ping ponging between guessing if it was a little sister or a little brother every hour of the day. Tommy’s excitement had a nervous edge to it and he confessed to Buck under the cover of night that he was worried he’d let him down, that he didn’t know all the stuff Buck did from experience of already having a baby. That Tommy was afraid he’d make stupid mistakes or even worse that something would be wrong with either the baby or Buck and he wouldn’t know until it was too late. Buck had tangled his fingers with Tommy’s shaky ones that were resting against the side of his belly, spooning was the only way Buck could enjoy a cuddle in bed these days, and twisted his neck to look into Tommy’s eyes when he assured him that he wouldn’t let Buck down. And Buck promised that if anything felt even slightly off during delivery or after he’d tell Tommy immediately. That seemed to settle Tommy’s nerves and excitement began to outweigh them until it was the only emotion that could be felt bubbling through the house.

Buck decides that having your partner, your mate, in the room with you makes the whole birthing experience just a little more bearable. Bobby had been great and maybe now he’d be even more soothing than he had been the first time with how much better they know each other but Tommy, Tommy had been a rock that Buck needed so much in that hospital room. When it had gotten to a point where Buck felt like he couldn’t do it anymore Tommy had helped him through. He’d held Buck’s hand, brushed his sweaty hair back, whispered words of encouragement, held Buck’s leg in a better position for him and scented Buck whenever he’d asked for it. Which had been often. It hadn’t made the experience any less painful or tiring but he’d felt better than last time once it was all done. No need for chocolate bars when he had the real thing right there with him. And despite having Tommy there making it better Buck is pretty sure he won’t be doing it again.

Or he was sure until he was handed his second son. Both he and Tommy were crying as their baby was laid across Buck’s chest. Tommy was crying hard enough to concern one or two nurses but Buck just held onto his hand, knew that some of the tears were ones of grief for missing this with Theo. His own definitely held some sadness but for the most part they were tears of joy.

Buck was even less sure that Hayden Robert Kinard-Buckley would be their last child when Theo had bounded into the room, face scrunching up in a little replica of Tommy’s smile when he’d spotted his little brother. The four of them had sat there in Buck’s hospital bed, Buck leaning back against Tommy who was holding Hayden and Theo curled into Buck’s side, and Buck thought that maybe he could do this again. So if he and Tommy happen to strikeout with birth control for a third time then fair enough but after that he’ll have to insist that Tommy gets a vasectomy. 

Unless their third baby is really cute then maybe one last kid but then definitely no more. 

Maybe.

Although Buck could be convinced.

He better tell Tommy that they should start looking for a bigger house.