Archive of Our Own ^beta

Even during their time in the academy, back during the last days of the Republic, gender was complicated. Despite the wide array of species and their varied biology, there was an expectation for folks to follow their "biologically assigned sex" and corresponding gender. For humans, this meant that people born like Kallus were expected to identify as men.

This expectation became a rule during the reign of the empire, especially for imperial officers. There was no time or room for non-conformity. Questioning your assignment, even your gender assignment, was nothing but a distraction, a selfish distraction. So Kallus fell in line, lived as a man, buried down any part of themself that tried to question this. Ignored the ache in their heart anytime they were referred to as "he," as a gentleman, as a man. They knew they were just being dramatic. They were a man no matter how they felt.

But then they spent that time on the ice moon with Zeb, began questioning everything they thought they knew about the empire, realized the flaws with who they have been working so diligently for, realized all the mistakes they made, all the people they hurt.

So Kallus worked to become better, became Fulcrum, put everything on the line for the rebellion. They helped free Lothal, atoned for their sins, and now despite themselves, they are living on Lira San for more than a year with the man they love...even if they know that man, Zeb, doesn't feel the same. But they are happy just being here with their best friend.

They have also been doing a lot of thinking now that they are living in relative peace. The Empire was wrong about so much, so what if it was wrong about them? Why did they have to be a man just because that's what they were told was right? It did not feel right. It gave them the same knot in their stomach they got whenever they thought of the other lies they used to believe.

So one day they decided they were going to be true to themselves ...at least at home, with Zeb. Zeb is the person they trust the most and if they can start with Zeb, maybe...she can be comfortable elsewhere.

So while Zeb is away on some job fixing someone's refresher, Kallus, makes her way into town, purchasing a few things from the market, before hurrying home to make it back before Zeb.

She works quickly in the refresher, shaving the hair from her legs, armpits, chest, and face. She instantly feels more feminine. Next she focuses on the hair on her head. In the year since she has been here, her hair has grown a few inches past her shoulders. She usually pulled it up, making up excuses to herself why she hadn't gotten it cut. But in reality,she thought it made her look pretty with the loose blonde waves. She took a little rubber band and a hair pin she bought in town, and pulls her hair half up, letting some hang down and frame her face.

Finally she pulls out the beautiful green knee length dress she bought in town. It looks like one of the traditional ones she had seen other Lasat women wearing. As she is getting it on, she hears the front door open.

"Alex?" Zeb calls.

---

He has been thinking about this for a while, and today was going to be the day. Zeb's affection for Kallus has only grown since the spark he felt between them on that icy moon. And now after living together for over a year, he can safely say he is in love. He is pretty sure the other person feels the same.

So he told Kallus he had a job but was actually going to visit Chava. She was helping him pick out the perfect flowers and rehearsing what to say. He needed someone he could trust to talk to. After she calmed his nerves and got him looking presentable, in a more traditional Lasat dress outfit, she sent him on his way.

He walks into their house and doesn't see Kallus in the front room where they usually are sitting reading something, scrunching up their nose as the late afternoon light shines on them from the window. Suddenly, now that he is home, ready to confess his feelings he feels knots in his stomach. What if he is wrong? What if Kallus doesn't feel the same?

But he calls out, not turning back now. "Alex?"

Kallus hears Zeb calling, and as she looks in the mirror, hair done up, green flowy dress hanging down, suddenly she gets nervous. She needs more time. What if Zeb doesn’t want to associate with her anymore. What if the empire was right? What if the boys back at the academy were right? All the self-doubt she thought she got over comes rushing back in.

“Alex?” Zeb yells again, a little worry in his voice when she did not answer

She pulls her self together, forces her voice not to shake as she manages, “In the refresher, just got of the shower, be out in a minute.” She is just going to change back into her masculine clothes. Today is not the day after all.

Meanwhile Zeb doesn’t know why, but the thought of not having to look Kallus in the eyes while he confesses sounds great. That way, if they reject him, he doesn’t have to see that look of pity in their eyes. So he walks up to the door and starts rambling. “Hey, so um. I have something to tell you…”

The anxious sound of Zeb’s voice stops her in her tracks. Why does he sound like that? Has something happened. Before she can respond, he begins to continue. “Look, yer my favorite person in the whole galaxy, you know? An, um….oh Kerablast. What I’m trying to say is… I want us to be, you know more than friends. Because, um… I got you these flowers.” He sticks them out as if Kallus can see them through the door. “What I’m trying to say is I love you.”

As the last words leave his mouth, the door slides open. There Kallus stood in her pretty green dress and hair done just right. Her heart is beating out of chest. She wonders if it flew away if Zeb would go and get it. “What did you just say?” Her cheeks are pink, a little smile evident on her face.

Zeb is struck by the sight of the person he loves looking more beautiful than he remembers. Its not because of the dress or the hair, they would look gorgeous no matter what, but something about them looks…happier…more right. He doesn’t answer their question, instead saying “You’re beautiful…”

Kallus’ smile gets wider, her face lighting up. “Really?” she whispers as she steps closer.

“Yea…did you hear what I said while you were in there?” Zeb anxiously replies, before shoving the flowers clumsily into Kallus’ hands.

“That you love me?” she asks, as if she could have misheard and this is all a dream.

“Yea…I love you.”

Kallus almost forgets to breathe. “I love you too.” She chokes out.

Zeb smiles before wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, flowers smashed between their bodies. But as he goes in for kiss, suddenly she stops him “Wait, Zeb, um…”

Zeb pulls his hands away, thinking he went to fast. “I am so sorry, I thought…”

Kallus, quickly grabs his hand, stopping him from backing away farther. “Zeb, don’t be sorry…I just want to make sure you understand. I, um,” the courage she had begins to leave her as she blurts out “am a woman…”

“You’re…a woman?” Zeb asks slowly.

“Yes….” For a moment she fears this will change everything but her fears melt away, as Zeb pulls her close again.

“Okay. Yer the most beautiful woman I ever saw.” She can’t help but smile. Of course Zeb accepts her. She did not think she could fall more in love with him, but she is. And with that, she lets him pull her into a sweet kiss.