Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Fire blazed around him. Buck grinned, all teeth and adrenaline.

Sweat dripped down his face and collected against the seal of his mask, so warm that he could only tell it was there because of the tickle against his skin. The discomfort, the heat, the glare of the flames, didn’t phase him. It was a rush, reminding him he was solid, alive.

Buck ran. His heavy duty boots thudded against the concrete in counter rhythm to his heart beat.

There had been no fatalities so far, most of the building evacuated already. Though, Buck could feel someone out in the triage tents in front of the building edging towards the Grey, smoke inhalation clogging their lungs. It tugged at his awareness but he focused on the job in front of him.

There was one more segment of the building that hadn’t yet been cleared by his team. Buck pushed his awareness out ahead of himself, searching for life signatures. In a fire like this it was hard to distinguish person from flame, both blazed as far as magic was concerned. But there was something pulling him forward.

His radio crackled. Captain Chapman called for a full evacuation of all personnel, the structure was becoming too unstable. Part of the roof had begun to collapse.

Buck ignored him.

As he thudded towards the northwest corner of the building the suspicion he’d held resolved into a certainty. There was someone there, and they were hurt.

“LAFD call out!” He yelled about the roar of the fire.

There, trapped in the corner. A woman in a worker’s uniform desperately trying to free her ankle from where it had gotten trapped in a broken section of metal grating. Buck got the feeling that hadn’t been OSHA compliant even before the fire.

He ran to her. When she caught sight of him she got that wild look of mingled hope and relief that he loved to see. It meant she knew help had come, she didn’t have to fight to survive alone any more. Her dark hair was already plastered to her head with sweat, she’d been fighting for a while.

“Here!” Ripping off his mask, Buck fitted it over her face. She took a deep breath of the filtered air, watching him with wide eyes.

“What about you?” She asked, only just intelligible through the mask.

Coughing up the ash particulates later would be a pain in the ass but that was a problem for future Buck. So he ignored her question.

“Stay still!” He ordered. With his thick gloves he could get a better grip on the sharp metal grating than she could. It took a couple tries to get the right leverage, but he bent it back enough that she could slip her ankle out.

Gasping with relief, the woman tried to scramble to her feet. But there was no time for that.

“I’m going to carry you!” He just barely waited long enough for her to register that before leaning down and scooping her into his arms.

She yelped, but clutched at him, scrabbling for purchase on his thick turnouts.

They wouldn’t make it all the way back to the main entrance, not if the building was coming down. He glanced around, trying to spot an emergency exit.

“Way out?” He asked.

The woman pointed and Buck followed her direction. When they reached the emergency exit door, she put an arm out to hit the push bar and they slammed out of the building.

The night seemed pitch black after the glare of flame and Buck stumbled, boot catching on the uneven paving slabs. The woman in his arms yelped again, holding on to him with both hands.

“Sorry.” He said with a sheepish smile, though the woman didn’t seem to register it.

When his vision adjusted, he walked them around to the front of the building where triage had been set up. Whoever it was that had been so close to death had evidently been treated or taken to hospital. The Grey hovered over the scene in the way it always did after near death experiences, but it hadn’t claimed anyone that evening.

Aditi, one of the paramedics on his shift, looked up as he approached. “Finally made it out then Buckley?” Luckily she sounded more amused than annoyed. She was better at putting up with him than most of the people he worked with.

Her long dark hair was braided in a thick ponytail down her back to keep it out of her face. She was tiny, at least a foot shorter than Buck, but she could more than hold her own.

“As always.” He said smugly as he lowered the woman he carried to sit on the tarps that had been spread out on the concrete.

“Decided you didn’t need the mask?”

Buck couldn’t quite read her tone so he shrugged. “It was getting hot under there.” He gave Aditi a brilliant grin and she just rolled her eyes. “Speaking of my mask, mind if I have it back?”

The woman awkwardly peeled the mask off and handed it back to him. “Thank you.” She whispered, sounding quiet and awed. “You saved me.”

Buck winked at her. “Just doing my job.”

“I see you have survived another stunt, Buckley.” A cool voice said behind him.

Buck didn’t even have to turn to know it was Astergarde, but when he did he saw the man watching him with something bordering on disdain. Astergarde was the only other mage-firefighter in station 124 and had been Buck’s supervisor for his probationary year. The half hearted attempts to teach Buck anything had lasted all of about a week, since then he mostly just gave Buck disapproving looks. Astergarde wasn’t quite as tall as Buck, and was willowy where Buck was thickly muscled.

Too used to the treatment to take offence, Buck just grinned at him. “Maybe you should try it some time. Might even get some soot on you.” Pointedly, Buck brushed some residue off his sleeve.

“I know where I am most useful.” Astergarde said primly, clearly implying that Buck absolutely did not know the same.

“Well-” Buck’s voice caught as he choked on ash. Coughing, he turned to the side and spat a disgusting black glob onto the pavement. After so many years he no longer found it unnerving to feel his own magic crawling around inside him fixing injuries and expelling foreign matter. But the actual expulsion of it was still unpleasant. He grimaced at the taste, wondering if he could find some water.

“You’re-” The woman he’d rescued was staring at him still, awe turned to fear. “You’re a-”

“Yeah.” Buck said flatly. Well, the hero worship had been nice while it lasted. He really needed to get better about not letting his eyes turn black when his magic flared up unexpectedly. “You’re welcome. I’m gonna get some water.” He spat another horrible glob onto the floor, then walked away. Aditi and Astergarde would make sure the woman was well taken care of. Though Astergarde was a bit of an asshole, he was a professional when it came to the public.

When he’d snagged himself a water, Buck leaned against the ladder truck and tipped his head back to look at the sky. He’d saved her. It didn’t matter what she thought of him. All that mattered was that he had saved a life.

-

By the time they made it back to the firehouse, they were an hour overtime and the next shift was already there. So they could hit the showers without having to rush. Buck ended up spending several minutes hunched over coughing up ash, but eventually it was all out. He hadn’t even had his mask off that long, it didn’t seem like it should be possible to breathe in so much crap so quickly.

By the time Buck was dry and dressed he was looking forward to getting back to his place and collapsing face first into his mattress, but a voice stopped him.

“Buckley!” Todd called from the doorway to the changing room. “Cap wants to see you in his office. From the asshole grin Todd had on his face, it couldn’t mean anything good.

Sighing, Buck tried to think of what he could have done wrong recently. There was usually something, but most of the time he just got yelled at in the moment to cut the shit. When the captain actually called Buck into his office it was usually for a discussion he’d rather not have.

So Buck headed past the gym, deeper into the firehouse. The door to the Captain’s office was open but Buck knocked on it anyway.

“Firefighter Buckley.” Chapman said with a wide smile that made Buck want to roll his eyes like a petulant teenager. “Come in, take a seat.”

Taking the offered seat, Buck shifted uncomfortably. “What can I do for you captain?”

“Actually, this is about what I can do for you. I have your transfer order here.”

Buck blinked at him. “My… transfer order?”

Leaning forward, Chapman slid the papers across his desk. “You will be working with the 118 from now on.”

“But- I only just finished my probation. I haven’t even had my shield ceremony yet.” Buck hadn’t exactly been excited about his shield ceremony, he had no one to invite. No family, and he was new to LA so no friends. Buck had been half tempted to ask if they could just have a cake or something during shift and get it over with. But still, he wasn’t expecting to be told to just move on.

“Exactly, you’re no longer a probie. You’re a fully fledged mage-firefighter, qualified to work unsupervised by another mage. Mages are spread thin so the brass wants you out there in the wild. It’s time to spread your wings kiddo.”

Buck hated the way Chapman said ‘kiddo’. It was so patronizing, like he really was a wayward five year old that Chapman had the misfortune of working with. Though, him seeing Buck as a kid had never stopped him from letting Buck run into a burning building or do a dangerous maneuver.

Frowning at the paper, Buck asked, “I don’t even get to choose which station I work at?”

Chapman leaned back in his chair and gave an expansive shrug. “Don’t like it, you can take it up with the brass. Submit a request- complaint- whatever. But next shift you’re at the 118 so you’re no longer my problem. Shut the door on your way out.”

Buck wasn’t even sure where in LA the 118 was but Chapman was clearly not about to be answering any of his questions. Taking his transfer orders, Buck turned and shut the door on his way out.

Most firefighters couldn’t really be ordered around like this, but Chapman had been telling the truth about the shortage of mages in LA. The brass wanted to spread them out as much as possible, to cover a wider area. The dedicated mage response teams could only do so much. Like Chapman had said, he could technically fight the assignment if he really wanted to, but he wasn’t sure what good it would do.

He looked around at the station he’d spent the last year working in. There were a few of his coworkers he was vaguely friendly with, none that he was close to. Not for lack of trying. But most people were just about tolerant of what he was, as long as they didn’t have to see it much. Tolerance didn’t generally extend into friendship, in his experience. In fact, it usually wore out.

Perhaps a transfer was for the best. His time at the 124 was always going to be limited, why drag things out? No one would thank him for it, that much he was sure of.

Going to his locker, Buck cleared out the few things he’d stored there. A spare change of clothes, an extra phone charger, a packet of mints he’d forgotten about. He’d never personalized his locker the way most of his colleagues did so it didn’t take long.

As he walked out of the station, Buck looked up the 118. A fresh start.

He hoped it would go well, but worried it wouldn’t.

Chapter Text

Metal shrieked as it bent under the jaws of life. Eddie gritted his teeth.

The uncomfortable angle he hung at made it hard to brace the machinery properly, he had to work section by section. It was something of a miracle the car had come off the road at exactly this point, where it would crash into a spur of rock and crumple rather than falling all the way down the cliff side.

Eddie and Chimney were both harnessed up and had been lowered down to the car. Chimney had managed to pop the passenger side door open and was busy leaning into the car so he could harness up the man in the passenger seat. According to Chim’s quick triage he was dazed and bruised, but otherwise outwardly alright. He’d need to be checked for internal bleeding when they got him to the hospital though.

The driver had been pinned to her seat when the front of the car crashed into the rock, so they had to cut her out rather than just extract her from the passenger side.

Bobby’s voice crackled over the radio. “How are we looking down there?”

Too preoccupied to answer, Eddie looked to Chim who had a hand free to activate his radio. “We’re in, I’m harnessing up the passenger now. Should have him up in a few minutes.”

“And the driver?” Bobby prompted.

Chimney looked at Eddie for clarification on that. But all Eddie could do was grimace and jam the jaws into the next section of metal.

“We’re working on that.” Chimney said neutrally, because they had two patients listening in.

“If the car starts sliding the supports aren’t going to hold it for long.” Bobby warned. It was a veiled request to hurry the fuck up, without actually saying it.

“Got it Cap.” Chimney said quickly. Abandoning the radio, he turned to his patient. “Ready to go?”

The guy nodded, eyes wide. He seemed like the type that might panic and make things difficult for them, but just then that was Chim’s problem, not Eddie’s.

“Great. All you need to do is hold on.” With that, Chim helped him out of the car and gave the signal for him and his patient to be hauled back up to the road where the ambulance was waiting.

Adjusting his grip on the jaws, Eddie braced his foot against the car. He tried to ignore the sweat trickling down the back of his neck. It wasn’t even all that hot, but the day after a full moon on wolfsbane was always rough. He felt like his muscles wanted to crawl out of his skin. This was the first time he’d been scheduled for a shift immediately after a full moon and it was harder than he’d expected. Sure, he was used to doing this kind of thing from his time in the army, but somehow it had been worse since coming to LA. He was just out of practice. That had to be the reason he’d had to stop himself from biting off his team’s heads all morning whenever they got too close.

“Are you going to get me out?” The woman asked tremulously, pale from shock.

“What’s your name?” Eddie asked a little through his teeth.

“Lacey.” She said softly.

“Lacey.” Eddie said, full of determination. “Just hang in there and we’ll get you out alright? I’m nearly there.” A little full moon fatigue couldn’t keep him from doing his job.

He was only a few weeks into his probation and he was still determined to make a good impression. So far things seemed to be going well. His experience as an army medic had already come in handy a few times, and his team seemed glad to have him around.

Finally, the door popped open. Lacey yelped at the sudden release of pressure and the car slid a foot to the left, down the incline.

“Get out of there Eddie.” Bobby ordered over the radio.

“This is probably going to hurt.” Eddie warned her.

Lacey nodded, already reaching out to him as the car kept sliding. Getting his arms around her, Eddie pulled her from her seat. She screamed in his ear but kept clinging to him through the pain.

As the car kept sliding away from them, Eddie fumbled for his radio. “Bring us up!”

As Lacey wasn’t properly harnessed, Eddie kept a firm grip on her the whole way up. She seemed dazed with pain but never once let go of him. Eddie only hoped he hadn’t done too much damage pulling her from the car like that, but it was better than her falling with the car.

His team was waiting at the top to pull them both up, Hen getting Lacey situated on the waiting gurney and whisking her away.

Leaning against the guard rail, Eddie took a moment to just breathe. It wasn’t his first rescue while harnessed up, but it was by far the most adrenaline inducing.

Bobby clapped a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Nicely done. Take a minute before we head back.”

Eddie grinned, the approval and adrenaline helping to clear out the post moon fog. It seemed like he’d chosen the right profession.

-

They were back at the firehouse hours later idly watching the news when Bobby came out of his office. He looked preoccupied, a slight frown pulling at his brows.

“Everything alright cap?” Chim asked as Bobby joined them at the sofas.

“Yeah.” Nodding, Bobby gave them a smile. “Everything’s fine. I just got word that we’re going to be getting a new mage-firefighter next shift.”

Chim and Hen groaned in unison, Chim dropping his head back on the sofa.

“Already?” Chim asked mournfully. “I was hoping it would take a year at least.”

“We aren’t that lucky.” Hen grumbled.

A little bemused, Eddie watched the two of them. “You guys don’t want a mage?”

Rolling his eyes, Chim gave Eddie a very put upon expression. “They always think they’re god’s gift to man.”

“The 118 has historically had bad luck with mages. They always hate getting their hands dirty.” Hen put in sagely.

“Right!” Chim threw up his arms. “We’re cursed! The other houses get normal mages, we always get the assholes.”

Chimney had been working at the 118 the longest of all of them, so Eddie supposed he would know. But- while curses were real and measurable, Eddie was pretty sure they didn’t come in the variety of ‘all the mages that work here will be insufferable’.

“Alright, alright.” Bobby put his hands up, forestalling any more complaints about the quality of mages stationed at the 118. “This one is qualified in heavy rescue, so I don’t think getting his hands dirty will be an issue.”

For a moment Hen and Chim looked surprised, then Chim groaned again. “So now he’s gonna tell us how to do our jobs too?”

“I can’t say I have much experience working with mages.” Bobby said calmly. “But how about we give him a chance before we start deciding he’s a nuisance, alright?”

“Alright.” Hen agreed. Chim nodded, though he still looked mutinous.

“Sure.” Eddie put in, though he hadn’t been the one complaining.

Privately, Eddie thought he was more likely to agree with Hen and Chim. Curse aside, he’d interacted with a few mages during his time in the army, and most of them had been a special blend of asshole that came from being a soldier that had a power most of the population didn’t. Those mages had a tendency to look down on werewolves, believing they were little better than animals. They weren’t all like that, of course. Mages varied in personality just as much as any other type of person.

Historically, mages and werewolves had a tenuous relationship. There were so many factions of wolves and types of mage it was all a mess of alliances and blood feuds and chaos. His family pack back in Texas had an agreement with a mage who provided them with magic services and tinctures and whatever else, but that had been purely transactional. They weren’t exactly friendly. Overall Eddie just found it easier to avoid mages unless he had a reason to work with them.

Which apparently, he now did.

Still, having a mage on shift would be useful to them. They’d all had the magic training that was mandatory at the academy. Enough to recognize different types of magic, spot curses, contain things when necessary and wait for the professionals. But without a mage on staff, there was only so much they could do. Whether they were thrilled about actually working with a mage or not, it would open up the kinds of jobs they could do. It would be nice to be able to deal with magic issues on scene rather than having to hang around and wait for a mage response unit.

-

In a quiet moment when everyone was busy doing their own thing, Bobby pulled Eddie into his office.

“As you’re my other most qualified heavy rescue, you’re probably going to be working side by side with our new mage the most. I just wanted to gauge how you feel about that.”

Eddie considered that. He appreciated Bobby checking in, but- “I don’t think it will be an issue. Unless there really is some kind of curse.” His tone made it clear exactly how much stock he put in that idea.

Bobby smiled slightly. “That’s good. Seeing as you’re still in your probation year I wouldn’t normally put you with someone new to the station, but sometimes things just work out that way.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Eddie knew how to deal with assholes, he’d worked with all kinds of them in the army, mage or not.

Bobby nodded slowly. In the short time Eddie had been working with him, they hadn’t exactly gotten to know each other well. They were both pretty closed off people. But he had, at least, learned to read Bobby a little.

“Is there something else?” Eddie prompted.

Bobby glanced at the door as though checking no one was listening in. “Don’t tell the rest of the shift but… well, his reviews are mixed at best.”

That didn’t sound good. Eddie kept his expression neutral. “Oh?”

“His captain has given him a pretty glowing review. But the mage-firefighter supervising him was much more reserved. Says he’s reckless.”

If this guy was qualified to work at a station with no other mages, it meant he was pretty powerful. Combine that with reckless behavior? It was a potential recipe for disaster.

Eddie had to pull on his military training to keep his reaction muted. “I see.”

Sighing, Bobby rubbed a hand over his hair. “I just want you to keep an eye on him. I want to give him a fair chance, reviews aside. But if it comes to a safety concern…”

With a sharp nod, Eddie assured him, “I’ll keep a close eye on him.”

“Remember you are not responsible for him in any way though.” Bobby said seriously. “The hierarchy is a little skewed because of his magic qualifications, but I’m still captain. If you have any issues with him at all, bring it straight to me.”

“Yes cap.”

As he headed back out to join the others, Eddie wasn’t sure whether to be flattered that Bobby was trusting him, or annoyed that he might have to babysit a reckless mage. More than anything he was just looking forward to the end of shift so he could spend the weekend with his son.

Chapter Text

Bright and early on his first day, Buck got out of his jeep and looked up at station 118. It initially looked smaller than the 124, but when he looked closer he realized it actually went further back than he thought. Long rather than wide.

Maybe he should be less nervous, given the sheer number of times he'd been the new guy. He'd even already been the new guy at a firehouse. There wasn't even another mage working at the station to make his life more difficult.

There was usually a thrill that came with going to a new place, full of possibility. Not that new places had ever worked out for him in the long run, but he liked to enjoy the reprieve he usually had before people worked out what he was.

Only, when he first started working at the 124, Captain Chapman had gathered everyone together and announced to them all that Buck was a death mage. Buck still wasn't exactly sure how intentional the move had been, but either way it had set the tone for all of his working relationships. No one had really trusted him.

So going in to this new station, Buck wasn't sure where he stood. Had the captain already warned everyone? Would he make an announcement? Or would he just keep it quiet?

The only way to know was to dive in.

Hitching his bag over his shoulder, Buck held his head high and headed inside. He walked between the engine and the ladder truck- they were familiar at least. At the end of the engine bay, Buck paused and looked around. His gaze caught on a small glass room, where a very attractive man had just taken off his shirt.

Buck was no stranger to bodies, from hook-ups to changing rooms to patients. But it took him a little off guard anyway. The guy had dark hair and a leanly muscled build, tan skin several shades darker than Buck's. Upon closer inspection, he was possibly one of the hottest men Buck had seen in some time.

As the guy pulled on his uniform shirt Buck just about managed to tear his gaze away so he didn't get caught staring like a complete creep. Why on earth did this place have a glass changing room? Surely that was asking for HR violations.

Rather than stand around like an idiot and wait for him to come out, Buck headed up the stairs.

A guy in uniform coming down the stairs paused and gave Buck a bland smile. "Can I help you?" His name tag said his surname was 'Jackson'.

Buck gave him a smile in return. "Uh yeah, I'm actually looking for Captain Nash?"

"Oh, Cap's in the kitchen." Jackson pointed over his shoulder up the stairs.

"Thanks!" Buck bounded up the rest of the stairs.

There were a few people scattered around the firehouse loft, sitting at tables or on sofas. But there was only one man standing in the open plan kitchen tucked into the far corner. Squaring his shoulders, Buck thought a quick prayer to Nathaira that he wouldn't completely fuck this up, and headed towards him.

The Captain was wearing an apron over his uniform and wielding a knife with practiced ease as he sliced something into thin strips. He looked up curiously as Buck approached.

"Hi." Buck said awkwardly with a little wave. "I'm Evan Buckley, the-"

"The new mage-firefighter." Captain Nash smiled warmly. "Good to meet you Evan."

Buck couldn't help but grin in return. "Oh I go by Buck. Too many Evans at the academy."

Honestly, Buck had been almost glad to tuck the name Evan away. It felt like Buck gave him something of a fresh start, even if it was just a shortening of his surname. And a fresh start had been exactly what Buck had been desperate for when he came to LA.

Nodding, Captain Nash accepted that easily. "Alright then Buck. Welcome to the 118. I'll-" Nash's gaze slipped to something over Buck's shoulder. "Ah Eddie, perfect timing."

Buck turned to see the unfairly handsome man from the changing room approaching, now fully dressed thank the gods.

"Buck, this is Eddie Diaz. He's A shift's other heavy rescue so you'll be working closely with him. Eddie, would you mind showing Buck his locker and giving him a quick tour? I want to get breakfast done."

It was strange to see the Captain making food for the team. There had been a rotation on who made food at the 124, and Chapman had been excluded from it every time. He was more of a ‘give orders’ than a ‘do it himself’ kind of guy. But it seemed Captain Nash was different.

But why, of all the people in this station, did he have to ask Eddie to give him the tour? Buck was going to say something stupid he just knew it. He had a rule about not sleeping with coworkers, he'd learned that the hard way. Several times. So maybe he was a little slow on the uptake, but he learned eventually. It always got messy. It hadn't mattered all that much back then, when he was picking up his life and moving on to the next place every few months. But here? He actually liked LA. More importantly, he loved firefighting. It was the first thing that had made him feel like he was worth something as a person, not just a useful tool as a mage. He wanted to be able to stay. That meant not doing anything stupid like propositioning his hot coworker on his very first day.

"Sure." Eddie was saying to Nash. Then he turned and gave Buck an assessing look, as though he was deciding whether Buck measured up to his expectations.

Buck only just resisted the urge to squirm. "Nice to meet you." He said weakly.

"Nice to meet you too." Eddie said finally with a smile that only made him more distracting. "Come on, let's get you situated."

So Buck followed him back down the stairs to the locker room.

"Why is it all glass?" Buck asked, half for something to say and half because he was genuinely curious.

Eddie shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe so we can still see what's going on outside? I don't really get it.”

It was kind of nice to know he wasn't the only one who found it strange.

Eddie opened one of the lockers. "Well, this is your locker. Did you bring your own lock?"

Buck nodded and patted his bag. He'd brought the one he'd used at his old station, it had taken ages to perfect the anti-magic charms on the damn thing, Buck wasn't eager to make another.

Eddie moved out of the way to let Buck get to the locker. "Do you want to get changed now or after the tour?"

"Now I guess. In case we get called out."

Nodding, Eddie took a seat on the bench and angled himself so he wasn't looking at Buck. It wouldn't really have bothered Buck either way, he wasn't shy about his body. But he did have a lot of tattoos, and people usually had awkward questions about them. So Buck was happy to postpone that interaction.

As he changed, he realized there was something nagging at his awareness. Something about Eddie, now that Buck wasn't distracted by his face. Shoving his head through this shirt, Buck examined the feeling.

It only took a few more seconds to recognize the wild feeling Buck got from werewolves. Eddie was muted for some reason, but there was no doubt he was a wolf.

"You're a werewolf?" Buck blurted out. God, he wished his mouth would wait for his brain to catch up sometimes.

Eddie tensed, slowly turning to face Buck. "Yes, I am."

"Oh. I didn't realize there were werewolves working at this station." To be fair, it wasn't like he'd known much about the 118 coming in to it.

"There aren't. It's just me." Eddie nearly grit out.

Now that was surprising. "I thought weres preferred to work with other weres."

Belatedly, Buck realized Eddie's jaw was clenched. Eddie slowly said, "Not all weres are the same."

Buck held up his hands as if in surrender. "That's not- I didn't mean to say, I just-" This was a classic Buck move, he just wished it had taken him a little longer to stumble into.

Eddie sighed. "It doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm a werewolf and yeah I'm the only one working here. Is that going to be a problem?"

"Nope." Buck said too quickly, shaking his head. "No problem." Only Buck wasn't actually sure about that. Werewolves and mages tended to have weird convoluted relationships, but werewolves and death mages? Generally a recipe for disaster.

"Hmm." Eddie didn't seem convinced but Buck had no idea what he could say to be more convincing.

So instead he finished changing as quickly as he could. "So um. Tour?"

"Yeah. But-" Eddie hesitated, as though he wasn't sure whether to say whatever was on the tip of his tongue.

Buck just waited, unsure.

It came out stilted and slow. "It's not exactly common knowledge that I'm a werewolf. Most of A shift knows but-"

So Buck had waltzed in and accidentally blurted out a question about something that was quite clearly a very sensitive subject. Which he of all people should have predicted, given how he felt about telling people the source of his magic was death. Though, it wasn’t his worst first impression. He didn’t want to think about what that said about him as a person.

"Oh. Yeah, I mean I won't say anything. That's fine." Buck wasn't exactly the greatest liar, but when he needed to keep a secret he knew how to. Evade, evade, evade.

A little of the tension leached from Eddie's stance. "Okay. Thanks. Let's do the tour."

There wasn't really that much to see, Eddie just showed him where all the equipment was stored and gave him a quick rundown of the quirks specific to the 118.

By some small miracle, Buck managed not to say anything stupid. Or at least, nothing more stupid than he already had. By the time they were done the captain was calling everyone up for breakfast.

Two people were waiting at the top of the stairs eyeing him curiously as they made it to the top. Buck gave them a smile he hoped wasn’t too nervous.

The woman took the initiative and introduced them, gesturing between herself and the man beside her. “I’m Hen, and this is Chimney.”

“Nice to meet you, I'm Buck.”

“Buck?” Chimney echoed. “Hey, with a nickname like that you fit right in!”

Buck’s smile was more genuine now. “I guess I do.”

“Come get it before it gets cold!” Nash called at them across the loft.

“You’re in for a treat.” Chimney said, clapping a hand on Buck’s shoulder and steering him towards the table. “Cap’s cooking is to die for.”

The way Chimney emphasized ‘to die for’ left Buck uncertain whether it was meant to be a dig at his magic or if it was just an unfortunate coincidence. So Buck just chuckled awkwardly. “Can’t wait.”

Before he could try taking a seat more out of the way, Chimney pushed him to the chair to the right of the Captain and took his own seat next to Buck. Food was dished up and Buck accepted a loaded plate. He wasn’t great about remembering to eat all the time because technically he didn’t actually have to. His magic could sustain him pretty much indefinitely. But he always felt better physically when he’d eaten, so he tried to remember.

As it turned out, Captain Nash’s cooking was, in fact, incredible.

“This is great!” Buck said, enthusiastically shoving another forkful into his mouth. “Do you guys eat like this all the time?”

“Only when Cap is in the kitchen.” Hen smiled. “The rest of us aren’t quite so gifted. But we try to have sit down meals at least once a shift.”

That sounded nice. Buck hoped this job worked out, because somehow it seemed like a good place to work.

Chapter Text

Eddie started his day arguing with his mother.

She’d called ridiculously early, claiming once again to have forgotten about the difference in time zones. Luckily Eddie had already been awake, he had to get ready for work. But Eddie needed at least a cup of coffee before dealing with his mother and he had only been awake for all of five minutes when she called.

So, sleep deprived and disoriented, Eddie had made the mistake of admitting to her that he hadn’t spent much time with pack in LA. She’d launched into a rant about how werewolves needed community to thrive, how he was depriving his son of something essential, how he had to spend more time around others or come home. All of it couched in sweet concern for him and Christopher. Mostly Christopher.

The thing was, werewolves did admittedly thrive more when surrounded by community, but that community didn’t have to be made up of other wolves. Humans were just as good at providing community, no matter what his parents thought. Besides, he and Christopher saw his Abuela and Tia Pepa at least once a week. That wasn’t good enough for his mother, but nothing ever was.

Back in Texas Eddie had a complicated relationship with his pack and an even more complicated one with his parents. He knew that his mother cared, but he wished that care felt a little less like being suffocated. His father- that was harder to tell. Eddie thought his father probably did care too, in his own stilted way. But he would have had to be around consistently to be able to actually show that. Sometimes he thought if his parents could find some kind of a middle ground, his life would be so much easier.

Moving to LA had been a difficult decision, but the relief he’d felt when he moved into his house had been worth it. Because his parents couldn’t just turn up on his doorstep without traveling for multiple hours, and Eddie had craved that distance every second he’d spent in El Paso.

After hanging up with his mother, Eddie had covered his face with his hands and just lay there on his bed trying to tamp down on the rising urge to punch something.

“Dad?”

Eddie sat up.

Chris was standing in the doorway leaning on his crutches, watching Eddie with his bright curious eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Eddie said quickly, mentally gathering up his shit and locking it away for a later breakdown. He didn’t have time for that. “All good. Let’s get you ready for breakfast club.” Luckily Chris’ school had a club for kids that needed to be dropped off early at school, so Eddie could make it to work on time. He was far from the only parent doing shift work.

“Can I take my tyranitar? I want to show Brandon.” Chris had been obsessed with the figurine ever since Eddie had caved and bought it as a reward for him doing well on his math test.

Standing, Eddie put his hands on his hips. “You think you can keep track of it all day?”

“Of course!” Chris seemed almost offended by the implication in the question.

Eddie narrowed his eyes. The damn thing had been decently expensive. Not ridiculous but enough that he didn’t have the budget to replace it that month. “And you won’t be upset if you lose it?”

That was enough to give Chris pause. But he shook his head doggedly. “I won’t lose it.”

Though Chris was a good and generally diligent kid, he was terrible at keeping track of his belongings. Which was pretty much par for the course for seven year olds.

“How about we have Brandon over after school some day and you can show him your whole collection?” Eddie bargained.

Tilting his head, Chris considered the offer. “And we can have takeout pizza?”

Eddie laughed at his son’s haggling skills. “Maybe. If you clean your room.”

Chris nodded decisively. “Deal.” He offered his hand out and Eddie shook it solemnly like they’d just closed a business deal.

“Alright, I’ll talk to Brandon’s mom.” Luckily she was one of the moms Eddie already had the number for, though Chris and Brandon were newer friends. “Come on, let’s get ready to go.”

Driving Chris to school, Eddie kept glancing at him in the rear view mirror. Chris looked happy enough, excited to go to school. He was such an understanding kid, that he didn’t even mind being dropped off early for breakfast. But did he need more community? Eddie worried that Chris didn’t have enough of a support system outside of school. He didn’t want his mother to be right, but maybe she at least had part of a point. Much as Eddie loved the family he had in LA, he needed more people for him and his son to interact with on a regular basis.

-

By the time Eddie made it to work, he’d completely forgotten about the new mage starting. He just went on autopilot, putting away his bag and getting changed into his uniform. It wasn’t until he saw the stranger talking to Bobby that he remembered.

To be honest, he would rather go take his frustrations out on a punching bag for a while than lead the new guy around on a tour, but his captain had asked him to do something so he would do it.

The mage- Buck- was bigger than Eddie had expected. A couple inches taller than him and broader too. He looked like he could have walked off a photo shoot for some sports magazine, the birthmark over his eye only making him look more charming. He also looked a lot like the type of mage that had sneered that dogs should be better at following orders when Eddie had struggled at the beginning of basic training.

Eddie did his best to pull himself together enough to be welcoming. But Buck just had to blurt out that he was a werewolf in that big surprised way before hitting on the one thing he’d been struggling with all morning. It made Eddie want to scream. He should have predicted that the mage would be able to tell he was a werewolf, most of the powerful mages could sense a wolf from a hundred yards. In return Eddie could feel the buzzing of magic like static against his skin whenever he stepped close to Buck.

Some wolves could tell the source of a mage’s power just by standing near them, but Eddie didn’t have enough experience being near mages to be able to tell the difference. It was obvious this guy was pretty powerful though. Eddie would just have to hope he wouldn’t go around telling everyone Eddie was a werewolf, no matter what he’d said. Of course, they would probably find out eventually, but he preferred to keep things close to the vest for as long as he could. He’d never been the most open person. He hadn’t even mentioned his son to his team yet.

Luckily Buck was quiet and attentive through the tour, seemingly paying close attention to everything Eddie said. Still, Eddie was glad when breakfast was ready so they could be done.

As they ate, Eddie took the opportunity to watch Buck. For one thing he ate like he hadn’t seen food in days. And though he smiled and joined in with the banter being batted back and forth across the table, Eddie got the feeling he was nervous. It made him feel a little bit bad about snapping at him, though Buck was rude to just blurt out that Eddie was a werewolf. Had their roles been reversed Eddie would have kept his mouth shut. People should have the option on when and how they wanted to reveal that they were something other than just human.

The bell went off just as they were finishing breakfast. There were groans and sighs as they shoveled in last bites of food before hustling down the stairs.

When Eddie slid into his usual single seat in the engine, Buck was already sitting in the seat across from him. Eddie was really going to have to get used to them being in close proximity.

They got a quick rundown of the call over the radio. It was a teenager who’d gotten himself stuck under a house when he’d tried to hide from his girlfriend’s father. Apparently they were both seventeen and the girl had a very protective father who had discovered them in bed together. So it was urgent, but no one was in immediate mortal danger. It kept the mood in the engine light as they headed towards the scene.

“So, Buck.” Hen began. “You’ve been working at the 124?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah, I had to do my probation at a station with another mage so I got assigned there.”

“How did you like working under Chapman?” Bobby asked from the front seat.

Sitting so close, Eddie had a front row seat to the way Buck’s expression went complicated. It was surprising, given that Bobby said the captain was the one who had given Buck a glowing review.

“Yeah it was great.” Buck managed to sound so genuine Eddie half doubted whether he’d read the expression wrong.

“Is Astergarde still the mage there?” Chim asked.

“Yeah, that’s him. He was my supervisor.”

“Oh really? That must have been interesting, he’s quite the character.” Chim laughed.

“You know him?” Buck asked curiously.

“Sure, he did a stint at the 118 before requesting a transfer. He and the previous captain did not get on.” Chim made an exaggerated face of disgust, though it was unclear whether that was aimed at Astergarde or the previous captain.

“Alright we’re here! Game faces people.” Bobby called as they came to a stop.

They spilled out of the engine onto the sidewalk. It seemed quite a crowd of curious neighbors had gathered to see the teen wedged under the house.

Bobby tipped his head, analysing the situation. “Looks like he’s wedged between those two supports.”

“So we just cut him out.” Raising his axe as if to do just that, Buck stepped forwards.

But Bobby put a hand across his chest. “Not unless you want to bring the house down on top of him.” He said coolly, in full captain voice.

To Eddie’s surprise, Buck didn’t bristle as he expected him to.

Instead he just lowered the axe and stepped back. “So what’s the plan?”

Bobby began giving orders, Hen and Chim to monitor the kid’s vitals, while Buck and Eddie worked on removing a beam that wasn’t load bearing to give them room to manoeuvre. Once he was given orders Buck seemed to do as he was told without issue.

As they got closer, Buck frowned. “This isn’t up to code.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“According to California building code, crawlspace access has to be at least 18 inches by 24 inches.” Buck said simply.

Chim glanced over his shoulder. “And you just know this because…?”

Shrugging, Buck knelt. “I used to work construction.”

“But you were ready to take out a support beam?” Eddie prodded.

Buck flushed slightly, ears going red. “The house wouldn’t have come down. Just… maybe a bit of the flooring.” He admitted reluctantly.

Eddie met Hen’s eyes and she gave a shake of her head that said ‘what are we going to do with him?’. Eddie just grinned.

Ultimately it was a pretty straight forward rescue. They got the kid out without the house coming down. He was mostly fine, though Hen and Chim sat him down to take his vitals when he tried to refuse a ride to the hospital.

Eventually the kid’s parents turned up and it was decided he was well enough that they could take him to the hospital for a check up, no ambulance needed.

As they began clearing the scene, Eddie realized he’d lost sight of Buck. Then he spotted him talking to one of the neighbors. The woman clearly giggled and batted her eyelashes at him as Buck said something apparently smooth. Eddie glanced around to see if he was the only one seeing this shit. Hen looked vaguely disgusted, Chim annoyed and Bobby displeased. As they watched, Buck accepted a folded piece of paper that definitely had her number on it and slid it into his pocket.

“Buckley!” Bobby called sharply. “Get the equipment back on the engine.”

“Yeah Cap!” Giving them a jaunty salute, Buck jogged back towards the truck.

Technically, Buck wasn’t really doing anything wrong. The patient was fine, the scene was secured, he could take a moment to talk to a bystander. It just wasn’t a great first day move, even if he wasn’t a probie.

Chapter Text

Buck didn’t need a babysitter. Every time Bobby gave him an order it wasn’t just to him, it was to him and Eddie. He got that he was the new guy or whatever, but surely they could trust him with simple tasks. At the 124 Buck had spent almost all of his time working alone, even during his probation. But it seemed here they wanted to keep him partnered up.

As they worked, Buck could feel Eddie keeping an eye on him. They worked so closely their arms almost brushed together and it drove Buck crazy. Half with annoyance at being watched, half with want for more contact.

Buck needed to go out and get laid. Well- maybe ‘need’ was too strong a word, but it would certainly help. It usually made him feel better. When Buck went too long without physical contact, his magic started to make him feel like he was a creature of death, a walking corpse animated by his own magic. The touch of a living, breathing human, made Buck feel alive again. Even just a handshake reminded him that no, he wasn’t dead. Even if he felt like it some days.

So the easiest way to get the contact he craved was sex with strangers. Buck was very good at finding hook ups. Not because he was incredibly suave or completely irresistible, he knew he was neither of those things. But he had learned how to look around a room and pick out the people that were looking for the same thing he was. Buck wasn’t exactly picky. Gender, looks, whatever else didn’t matter as long as they were consenting adults looking to have some fun.

The nice thing about LA was that he could wander into pretty much any bar or club and he’d find someone who was suited to what he was looking for. Things had been a little more difficult during the times he’d lived in smaller towns. So he may as well take advantage of the abundance of people looking for a good time.

It wasn’t like he had much else to do until his next shift. But he had to make it through this one first.

Buck was determined to prove that he was useful. That he could be trusted alone.

In the early afternoon, they were called out to a man standing on the ledge of his balcony threatening to jump as he argued with his wife. Standing on the sidewalk they looked up at the scene. While they couldn’t hear the exact words, they could definitely hear the two of them shouting at one another.

“Right.” Bobby said, tone business like. “Buck, Eddie, I want you two on the roof. I’ll go to the apartment, assess the situation. Chim, Hen, you’d better wait down here.”

So Buck and Eddie gathered their equipment and got in the elevator up to the top floor. As they got out onto the roof, Bobby’s voice came over the radio.

“Looks like we’re going to need to do the manuever. Buck, you’re up.”

“Got it.” Buck said into his own radio.

“Let’s get you-” Eddie started, holding out a harness.

But Buck was already waving him off. “No need for all that.”

Eddie frowned at him in confusion. Buck ignored him. Taking a few steps back, he got a running start.

Buck threw himself off the building.

“Buck!” Eddie’s shout was swallowed by the rush of air.

For one suspended moment, Buck was in freefall. He loved this part. Then he twisted, morphing into the biggest bird he could think of. An albatross.

He spread his wings wide, flapping twice before he angled back towards the building. Tucking his wings in tight, he sped like an oversized bullet and collided with the man on the ledge. They tumbled back onto the balcony in a flurry of limbs and feathers. Buck morphed back into himself and rolled so he wouldn’t land on the guy.

He got to his feet easily and looked down at the guy lying on the floor slightly dazed. Mission accomplished.

The ride back to the station was quiet. Buck was buzzing with the adrenaline of a completed rescue, but the others were watching him as though they’d never seen anything like him. And the captain wouldn’t even look at him.

The moment they got back to the station, Captain Nash pulled Buck into his office.

“What the hell was that?”

Buck stared at him. “The… maneuver?”

“You jumped off a building. No safety line, no back up plan.” Bobby looked almost furious.

This wasn’t how Buck had expected this to go. “Yeah but, I can turn into a bird. I’ve done it before.”

That seemed to catch Bobby off guard. “Your previous captain let you pull stunts like that?”

Buck shrugged. “Sure. He knew I could do it.”

A little of the anger seemed to drain from Bobby’s expression, though he was still very tense. “I don’t care what things were like at your previous station, Buck. Here, we do things safely, mage or not. I don’t want to see a stunt like that again.”

Buck frowned deeply. “But… I’m here to use my magic to help.”

Bobby sighed, suddenly looking exhausted as he sat in his chair across the desk. “Yes, you are here to use your magic. Safely, within protocol. You could have turned into a bird before jumping off the building.”

Buck scratched the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure if now was a good time to explain that it was easier to turn into a bird if you were already falling.

“You didn’t even clear it with me.” Bobby continued.

“So, you want me to clear it with you before I use magic?” Buck asked, scrambling for a way to fix this before he ended up fired.

Though Chapman had always been happy to let Buck pull whatever ‘stunts’ he wanted, the captain had always made it clear that if Buck stepped out of line with his magic, he’d be out of a job. Buck had never been clear on what ‘out of line’ meant, but it seemed like this might count in Bobby’s book.

Tiredly Bobby rubbed a hand over his face. “Yes. For now, clear it with me before using any major magic like that. We can discuss it more after a few shifts.”

Buck nodded slowly. “Okay. Ask permission. Got it.”

There was a tense awkward silence for a few moments before Buck hesitantly asked, “Was there anything else?”

Bobby waved him off. “No, Buck. You’re free to go.”

He slipped out of Bobby’s office. So much for good first impressions.

Rather than face any of his coworkers and find out what they thought of how he’d dealt with the situation, Buck decided to make himself busy. There were plenty of chores around the station to get stuck into.

-

Towards the end of the shift, Buck was cleaning the side of the ladder truck, most everyone else was up in the loft relaxing. Except, not quite everyone.

“So, what do you think of Buck?” Hen asked, clearly unaware that Buck was just on the other side of the ambulance.

Rooted to the spot as he kept cleaning, Buck wondered whether he should just quietly walk away. Eavesdropping was generally a bad idea. But he couldn’t seem to make himself move.

“He’s eager.” Eddie said neutrally. “Maybe a little reckless.”

“No, what do you think the source of his magic is?” Chimney clarified.

Buck froze.

“Why?” Eddie sounded suspicious. “Are you starting a bet?”

“Of course we’re starting a bet.” It sounded like Hen was smiling. “So what do you think?”

“You guys are really betting on this?”

Buck wasn’t sure where Eddie’s reluctance was coming from but he found it oddly endearing.

“It’s one in four.” Chimney explained. “The people with the winning bet split the pot.”

“There are six magic sources.” Eddie pointed out.

Eddie was right. There were six options for the source of a mage’s power. Fire, water, earth, air, life and death. People liked to give personality traits to the different types of mages, like star signs. But as far as Buck was concerned, that was bullshit. Magic source and personality had no correlation. Or at least, he hoped they didn’t.

“Technically, sure, but there isn’t a life mage alive at the moment.” Hen said.

She was also correct. Life mages were a once in a generation occurrence and the last one had died in 2011. Since then another had yet to pop up.

“And what are the odds of us getting a death mage?” Chimney asked as though that was obvious.

The odds were pretty low, to be completely fair to Chimney. There were less than thirty death mages in the entirety of the United States, as far as Buck was aware. It was hard to get an official count.

“It’s still possible he could be a death mage.” Eddie insisted.

Did Eddie already know? Was he just messing with them? It kind of sounded like he was just being difficult for the fun of it, but Buck didn’t know the sound of his voice well enough to be sure.

As far as Buck had observed in the hours they worked together, the 118 A shift seemed to have an easy, teasing atmosphere with one another, though they were professional on calls. Buck wasn’t sure where he would fit into it.

“There aren’t even any death mages living in LA.” Hen said a little exasperatedly. “Come on, Chim’s betting on fire, but I think that’s too obvious so I’m saying water. What do you think?”

“It would make sense!” Chim protested. “A lot of firefighter mages have fire as their source. And people say fire mages are meant to be more reckless, which would explain that jump earlier. Wait-” He said suddenly. “Can’t you like- sense it or something?”

“Which would be cheating.” Hen pointed out primly.

“Only some wolves can do that.” Eddie growled, though he didn’t sound genuinely angry. “So no, I don’t know what his source is. But I bet death.”

It really sounded like Eddie just wanted to be contrary, but Buck had no way of being sure.

“Okay, okay.” Hen relented. “I’ll put you down for death, if you’re so insistent. More money for the winner.”

“What are the other bets?” Eddie asked.

“I haven’t got everyone yet, but Carter’s also betting fire, Jackson’s saying Earth.” Hen listed.

Eddie sounded teasing. “Are you going to ask Bobby?”

“No way! He has Buck’s paperwork, he probably already knows.”

As the conversation dissolved into more teasing, Buck found he could finally move. He quietly made his way around the other side of the ladder truck and leaned against the front of it. Out of sight unless someone came all the way to this side of the engine bay.

They didn’t know what the source of Buck’s magic was. Or at least, no one other than Eddie knew. Which- technically was what he’d hoped for when he’d walked in at the beginning. But now that he’d had it confirmed, he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

This wasn’t like tending bar or working at a ranch, where the goal was to hide his magic indefinitely. When he was discovered he usually just moved on. As a mage-firefighter he was expected to use his magic and eventually the source of it would be obvious. And Buck didn’t want to be going anywhere.

Would it be easier to just come out and tell them? Or should he let it come out naturally? Evidently Captain Nash hadn’t told them, but was that only because he was expecting Buck to? Much as he generally struggled with rules, he found himself there was some kind of protocol to follow here.

Why was everything in his life so complicated? Occupational hazard of being a death mage, he supposed.

By some small miracle, Buck managed to make it through to the end of his shift without any more incidents. He didn’t want to get called in for another talk with Bobby, so he got changed quickly and hustled out to his jeep, giving his coworkers a quick, halfhearted wave goodbye.

He’d go out and find someone eager for his company on his day off, and hope that his next shift was a little less dramatic.

Chapter Text

Eddie was on time for his shift- but just barely. He skidded into the changing room with less than a minute to spare. The issue was, he was still struggling to find the right childcare for Chris. Something that both met Chris’ needs and could fit his shift work was hard to come by. All the paperwork made his head spin. It was only because he had such an understanding captain that he hadn’t been written up for being late yet. But that couldn’t last forever.

At least, things at work seemed to be going well. He’d been worried about it, after the roof jumping incident. Eddie’s heart had just about stopped when he saw Buck throw himself off that roof. He’d scrambled to the edge and looked over just in time to see Buck turn into a huge bird, the asshole. A little warning would have been appreciated.

Eddie didn’t know how he would have coped with that kind of thing becoming a regular occurrence. But seemingly whatever Bobby had said to Buck in his office had worked, because Buck had been much more prudent with his use of magic since then.

The bet about Buck’s magic was still alive and well though, he hadn’t done anything to make his source glaringly obvious. Speculation was rampant, it had even spread to the other shifts. According to Hen, Eddie was still the only one who had bet on death. Given the odds, it might not have been Eddie’s smartest bet, but he didn’t mind.

The calls they had that day were pretty standard, until it got dark. As they piled into the engine, Eddie listened to Buck rambling in his ear about a type of butterfly that was on the endangered species list.

Police were already on scene when they arrived and Athena met them as they walked up. Eddie had only met her a few times so far, but he knew she and Hen were friends, and she’d worked with Bobby often.

“What have we got?” Bobby asked.

“Domestic dispute. Four roommates got into some kind of argument that got physical, but none of them are especially coherent. We’ve got three of them in custody, two of which need medical attention. The fourth has barricaded herself into one of the basement rooms and isn’t responding.” Athena was brisk and businesslike.

“Right. Hen, Chim, you go check on the injuries. Buck, Eddie get the tools. Bring the saw just in case.”

As Bobby spoke, Athena’s attention had wandered to Buck. “Mage-firefighter Buckley.” She said coolly.

“Sergeant Grant.” Buck mumbled, completely unable to meet her eyes.

Hen and Chim’s gazes bounced between the two of them like they were watching a tennis match.

Athena turned to Bobby. “I didn’t realize you had a new member on your team.”

“He just joined us. You two know each other?” Bobby asked slowly, looking between the two of them.

Athena nodded. “We’ve met.”

“Nice to- to see you again.” Buck said, sounding like a scolded kid. “I’m uh g-gonna get the uh…” Seemingly unable to think of anything to say, Buck just hustled back to the truck.

“What was that about?” Bobby asked, the ghost of a frown pulling at his brow.

“Buckley and I have met on scene before. I’m sure you have your hands full with that one.” Athena said dryly.

Eddie felt oddly defensive. He watched the rest of them exchange glances that seemed to say ‘he is a bit of a handful’. But Eddie had been the one to work the closest with Buck, had seen the most of his personality. Underneath the cocky behavior, Buck cared. He cared deeply about every patient he came across, and he was always kind to them.

“He’s a good firefighter.” Eddie said.

Athena just arched an eyebrow. “I suppose he is.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what to make of that without more context. And Athena didn’t seem inclined to give it, so he went to help Buck as Hen and Chim went to find their patients.

“So,” Eddie began as they carried their equipment across the front yard. “You know Athena?”

Buck’s neck flushed and he glanced back at Eddie sheepishly. “Yeah. Kinda.”

“Kinda?” Eddie prompted.

Buck sighed. “I was being a dick. Got too involved on a call, tried to make decisions that weren’t mine to make. Sergeant Grant - rightfully - chewed me out for it. Not the best first impression.”

From what Eddie knew of Buck so far, that made sense. “Seems like you regret it though. Does Athena know that?”

Buck shrugged slightly. “I don’t actually, like, know her, y’know? She didn’t seem to want to talk to me so I’m just… trying to do better.”

“I think you already are.” Eddie said softly.

Buck gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”

-

The basement seemed too big for the house it was under, split into four separate rooms. Eddie, Buck, Bobby and Athena made their way down the stairs.

Athena pointed out the door at the very back around the corner. “That one.”

Stepping up to it Eddie pounded on the door. “LAFD call out!”

They waited a moment, but there was no answer.

Bobby nodded. “Alright, we’ll have to take the door. Start high in case she’s slumped against it.”

“If you can hear us, move away from the door!” Eddie yelled, prepping the saw.

“Stop!” Buck said sharply, holding out a hand to stall him.

Eddie froze, saw hovering. Buck had a faraway look in his eye, head cocked as though he was listening to something none of them could hear. Putting a hand on the door, Buck took a deep breath.

“What is it Buck? Bobby prompted after a moment of silence.

“Curse.” Buck muttered.

“How bad?”

Buck shook his head. “Hard to tell. Not weak, if I can sense it through the door. But it’ll kill her if we don’t act fast.”

“Damn it. Fine, curse protocol. Eddie-”

Some curses could be spread by touch. Someone was infected, they could wander around in a daze for hours infecting others if they weren’t stopped. Others required more prolonged exposure and others still couldn’t transfer at all. So protocol for curses was to limit contact immediately until they knew for sure the type they were dealing with.

“I can deal with it.” Buck said, dropping his hand and turning to face them.

He wasn’t jittery with adrenaline or grinning with cocky assurance. He was just quietly confident, eyes boring into Bobby’s.

When it came down to it, Buck was their magic expert. He knew what he was talking about better than any of them.

“I’m in.” Eddie said before he could think better of it. As a werewolf he might not have the same protections as a mage, but he was hardier than humans.

Buck glanced at him, clearly surprised.

“You’re going to need back up.” Eddie said, matter of fact. “You can’t deal with the curse and keep her alive at the same time.”

Bobby looked at Buck. “You’ve done this before?”

Nodding seriously, Buck held Bobby’s gaze. “I have. I know what I’m doing. My Mentor always said I had a knack for curse breaking.”

With one last look between the two of them, Bobby nodded back. “Alright. Eddie, use your emergency amulet. If things look bad, I want you both out of there and we’ll call in reinforcements.”

Eddie pulled out his amulet and broke the seal. It would give him four hours of protection, though especially strong curses would be able to eat through it faster than that. Amulets were part of their protective gear, like a turnout coat or a hazmat suit. Though mages didn’t use them as they tended to conflict with their own magic.

While Eddie was doing that, Buck turned to the side and made an odd gesture. He brushed his hand down his face, finger and thumb trailing across his eyes to close them, then closed his hand into a fist over his heart. It seemed deliberate and practiced, like it was something he did often.

Bobby looked closely at Eddie. “Are you sure?” He asked quietly.

Eddie glanced at Buck, then back to Bobby. “I’m sure.”

For a moment it seemed Bobby was searching for something in Eddie’s expression. Whatever it was he must have found it because he nodded decisively and clapped Eddie on the shoulder.

“Good luck, both of you.” He clapped Buck on the shoulder too. “Be safe. We’ll wait at the stairs to get her out.”

Together Eddie and Buck made quick work of the door. Inside the room a young woman lay on the floor. Her skin was pale and her breathing too quick. They knelt beside her, Eddie a little behind Buck to wait for his assessment.

Buck hissed through his teeth. “It’s not good.”

Looking sharply at him, Eddie asked. “Can you do it?”

Buck shook his head slightly. “The question isn’t whether I can do it. It’s whether I can do it without burning her out.” He wiped the back of his wrist over his forehead and moved to the woman’s other side. “Okay. I’m going to have to rip it out of her so I can destroy it. It’s not ideal but it’s better than overloading her heart. When I say clear, you get her out of here, alright?”

Their eyes met and Eddie had no room for doubt. They could do this. “Got it.”

Nodding, Buck took a deep breath, closed his eyes and put his hands over the woman’s chest.

For a moment nothing happened. Then dark tendrils of shadow seemed to emerge from Buck’s skin, waving lazily like leaves in a light breeze. From the woman’s chest, black ooze bubbled up under Buck’s fingers, slick and wrong- somewhere between blood and oil. When Buck opened his eyes, they were black as night.

Eddie’s breath caught. There was only one kind of mage with black eyes. Presagio de muerte, as his Abuela would have said. Death mage. Eddie had never met one before.

But there was no time for processing.

Buck pulled upwards, taking the ooze with him. It had coalesced into some kind of awful goopy creature and Buck threw himself backwards as he wrestled with it.

“Clear!” Buck yelled, though Eddie hardly needed the confirmation.

He grabbed the woman and bolted, getting them both out of the room in a matter of seconds. Carrying her to Bobby, he handed her over.

“Buck?” Bobby asked.

“I’ve got him.” Eddie said, already turning back.

Hesitating in the doorway of the room, Eddie watched in amazement and horror as Buck knelt on the concrete and pulled the body of the curse apart with his bare hands.It stretched like exposed tendons. Buck’s biceps flexed with the effort of it and Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away.

The thing snapped, exploding into black sludge and covering Buck’s uniform, his hands already thoroughly coated in it.

Buck flicked his hands like they stung, grimacing as Eddie got closer. “Don’t touch.” Buck warned. “It’ll burn you.”

The black substance was starting to vaporize into smoke, making it look like Buck was gently smoldering.

“There’s a tap next door.” Eddie said, wishing he could offer out a hand to help Buck up.

Buck got to his feet and Eddie led him to the tap, turning it on so Buck could shove his hands under it. The residue began to wash away but it seemed to have stained Buck’s palms underneath.

Eddie found an abandoned red solo cup in the corner and filled it at the tap so he could pour it over Buck’s face. It wasn’t as bad as his hands but he’d gotten spattered. He looked a little like a dalmatian.

“Thanks.” Buck murmured, sitting on the floor and letting Eddie tip water over him.

“You were pretty badass in there.” Eddie said with a smile.

Cracking open one eye to look at him. Buck looked softly surprised. “Me?” He was like a puppy, the pleasure at the compliment wiping away the pain in his expression.

“Yeah you. You can have my back any day.”

Buck grinned so wide it stretched his cheeks. “Yeah. Or y’know you could- you could have mine.”

Pleased at his enthusiasm, Eddie snorted. “Deal.”

Footsteps sounded on the stairs. “You boys alive down here?” Bobby only sounded mildly worried.

“All good Cap!” Eddie called back. “Just cleaning up.”

Bobby appeared in the doorway and took in Buck’s stained face and hands. “You okay?”

“All good.” He gave a thumbs up. “It just kind of- exploded.”

Because Buck had pulled it apart with his bare hands. Because he was a very powerful death mage.

Which meant - Eddie realized with no small amount of shock - that he’d won the bet. But no one else knew that yet.

Chapter Text

Buck was wet, cold, and his hands still stung. The last echoes of the curse prickled like hundreds of tiny needles.

But he felt great.

Ever since Bobby had to pull Buck into his office for a serious conversation that wasn’t quite a reprimand, Buck had been trying to find a way to redeem himself. He knew that he could be useful to the team, he just needed the right opportunity to show them.

The appearance of Sergeant Grant had put a bit of a wrench in his plans, she had seen him acting like more of an idiot as a firefighter than anyone outside of the 124 had. The growing pains he was having fitting in with the 118 were nothing compared to some of the shit he’d done in his probie year. He tried not to think about whether the sergeant would fill the team in on his idiocy.

But a curse like this was just the opening he needed. If the trade off for being able to convince them he wasn’t a completely useless idiot was getting covered in curse residue, Buck would happily take it.

So once he was sure his hands were clean of anything that could transfer, he accepted Eddie’s offered hand up. There was a mild head rush as he stood, but nothing worse. Buck had dealt with curses powerful enough to give him a migraine for days, so this was nothing. He smiled at Eddie in thanks for his help, still a little shocked that Eddie had volunteered to stay with him, to ‘have his back’ as he’d said. Despite Buck’s less than stellar start, Eddie had been willing to put his life into Buck’s hands.

It was still weird, working side by side with someone. He was so used to doing everything alone, had done things that way his entire life. But if that someone at his side was Eddie? Buck was beginning to think he could live with that. Besides, Eddie had been right about Buck’s limitations.

Buck had never been concerned about his ability to deal with the curse itself. He was brimming with power at any given moment, if the curse had latched on to him he would have been able to burn through it with sheer force. But it got more complicated when there was another life involved. Even most mages wouldn’t be able to deal with the amount of power coursing through Buck’s veins. He had to carefully ride the line before he did more harm than good. Otherwise he was like a fever fighting off infection, getting so hot the fever killed the body.

Bobby had left them to their own devices when he knew that Buck was alright and disappeared off to do captain duties. So Buck followed Eddie up the stairs. They headed outside and Buck took a moment to just breathe in the fresh air after the musty basement as Eddie carried their equipment back to the truck.

“Not bad Buckley.”

Buck nearly jumped out of his skin and turned to realize Sergeant Grant was standing a few feet away from him. She was watching him with an inscrutable expression.

“That was a good catch on the curse.” Even as she said it she watched him like he was a particularly difficult math problem she wanted to solve.

The entire call had gone so well so far, Buck was beginning to wonder whether he’d fallen into some kind of alternate universe where people actually liked him. It took a moment to find his voice. “Th-thanks. I try.”

“Seems you do.” Then, before he could even try to formulate an answer, she turned and walked away.

Was that an endorsement? Did that mean she didn’t hate him quite as much as he’d assumed? Unsure what to make of such a strange interaction, Buck headed to the back of the ambulance where Chim was standing.

Chim turned to look at him and grinned the moment he laid eyes on Buck’s face. “Did we get a new mascot?”

Still off kilter, Buck blinked at him. He managed to register that it was teasing even if he wasn’t sure what Chim meant. “Do you want to deal with the curse next time?”

Chim held his hands up in surrender. “I was just wondering if you were the hundred and first.”

Now Buck was really lost. “What?”

“101 Dalmatians.” Eddie explained as he came to stand beside Buck. “And wasn’t the hundred and first the one with no spots?”

“Actually that was 102 Dalmatians.” Hen put in from inside the ambulance. “And she got her spots by the end of the movie.”

Throwing out his hands, Chim gestured at Buck. “There we go Buck, you finally got your spots, you can be our station mascot! C’mon, you really don’t know 101 Dalmatians?”

Buck shrugged, it wasn’t like he’d had much opportunity to watch movies as a kid. “Never saw it.”

Chim groaned exaggeratedly. “You are woefully under-educated. What did you do as a kid?”

Buck winced. He’d spent a lot of his early childhood roaming the neighborhood, because it was better than staying inside his stifling house. Every year when it snowed so bad he couldn’t go out even bundled up, he felt like he would go crazy even if Maddie had done her best to keep him entertained. His parents had always seemed relieved when the thaw came around and he could go out again. Then he’d spent his teen years with his Mentor, which… well.

“C’mere Buck, let me check you out.” Hen said, giving him an out before he had to answer Chim.

Ordinarily Buck would protest that he was fine, but this time he obediently stepped up into the ambulance. “How’s the woman we pulled out?” He asked as he perched on the ambulance bench.

“Another aid car took her since we were busy with the others.” Hen explained as she started examining Buck closely. “But as far as I heard she was stable when they got her in the ambulance.”

Relieved, Buck nodded. “Good.”

“Does that burn?” Hen asked, pointing to the spots on his face and hands.

“No it’s fine.” He said quickly.

Giving him a disbelieving look, Hen took his hand and turned it over in the light. “Try that again.”

The light emphasized the pitch black hue of his skin, though Hen didn’t know that was what he usually looked like when he was healing. It wasn’t just stains from the curse.

He sighed. “It did burn but Eddie helped me get the worst of it off. Now it just stings a little.”

It seemed like Hen still didn’t fully believe him, but Buck was actually telling the truth. Though, to be fair to her anyone else probably would still have been in pain after something like that. Buck had a combination of death mage power and a very high pain tolerance. It took a lot to properly bother him.

“Alright.” Hen said finally, letting go of his hands. “But you’ll tell me if it gets any worse.”

It sounded like an order so Buck grinned at her and gave a salute. “Yes ma’am.”

Hen rolled her eyes and swatted his shoulder on his way out.

Buck was still smiling as he climbed out of the ambulance and headed for the engine. It was something of a revelation to be teased kindly, with a fond undercurrent. He was much more used to being sniped at in genuine annoyance, veiled cruelty or outright insults.

He’d had a little taste of gentler teasing at the 124, with people like Aditi. But even then, there hadn’t been the same warmth the 118 had.

When they were all packed up, they headed back to the station. Buck’s good mood had him humming all the way there.

-

A few hours later, Buck was standing in the loft watching with amusement at the tournament going on. It was a competitive racing game Buck didn’t know the name of, but apparently the 118 took it very seriously. Names had been drawn out of a hat for matches, bets had been placed. Buck just stood back and watched.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Buck noticed Eddie watching him. When they made eye contact, Eddie tipped his head in a request for Buck to follow him. Without thought, Buck did so, following Eddie down to the empty bunk room.

Eddie took a seat on one of the bunks, so Buck did the same, leaving space between them.

“So.” Eddie began as he turned to look at him. “You’re a death mage.”

Buck stiffened. Of course Eddie had seen that. Buck had been so caught up in the euphoria of Eddie’s trust and proving himself that he’d completely forgotten about that.

When he used a decent amount of power, there was nothing he could do about the way his eyes went black and magic poured off him in black tendrils. He was supposed to be able to hide it with glamors that distracted the eye, made people look away from him. But Buck had always been awful at using them, even when he remembered at the start he always accidentally dropped it half way through. It was this kind of shit that was always getting him in trouble, so he had to keep moving from place to place.

“Y-yeah.” Buck said uncertainly.

But Eddie didn’t seem particularly angry or fearful, and those were the two most common reactions to it. He was more pensive. “Is there… a reason you didn’t tell us?”

The prickling in his hands got worse but even as he rubbed at them Buck knew that was probably in his head. “At first I assumed you already knew. By the time I realized you didn’t, I wasn’t really sure how to…” He shrugged and spread his hands helplessly. “I’m not very good at hiding it. I knew it would come out at some point.”

“Hmm.”

“Are you mad?” Buck asked because he couldn’t help himself.

“That would be kind of hypocritical of me.” Eddie said mildly. “It’s not like I would have jumped to tell you I’m a werewolf if you didn’t already know.”

“Oh.” That made a lot of sense, though Buck wouldn’t have thought to look at it like that.

“I do have questions though. We’re a team, we need to understand each other’s skill sets.”

Buck tensed. Usually when people had questions about death mages it was a singularly uncomfortable experience. But Eddie was right, they could work better together if they understood one another. “Okay. Shoot.”

“I’ve never met a death mage before.” Eddie began, looking at Buck seriously. “Most of what I’ve heard is rumor or old stories, I don’t know how much is accurate. But death magic is… different, right?”

Buck nodded. “Life and death are incredibly powerful sources. Not that the elements aren’t but it’s…” He had to think for a moment to find the right words. “For elemental mages, magic is a power outside of themselves, something they have to actively take in and use. For death mages, it’s like the power… lives under my skin. It’s out there in the Grey, but also it is me. The more I use my magic the easier it is to deal with because I’m not boiling over. Does that… make any sense?”

Eddie laughed slightly. “Honestly? Not really. But I think I’ll get my head round it.” He leaned on his knees, clearly thinking hard. “So, if you’re that powerful, can you just… do anything?”

“No. What I’m able to do is based on two things, control and compatibility. When there’s so much magic it’s hard to control it into doing intricate complicated things. And the less compatible a task is, the more control you need.”

“Compatible?” Eddie prompted.

Buck leaned forwards, really getting into it now. It had been some time since he’d been able to explain magic to someone who was genuinely interested. “Some kinds of magic are more compatible than others. Like, a mage whose source is fire would be able to do earth or air magic with some effort, but they wouldn’t be able to do water magic without insane discipline and control. What is and isn’t actually compatible is kind of arbitrary and actually varies from person to person.”

Eddie was nodding like he was interested so Buck kept going. “Like- I can turn into animals really easily because it’s so compatible, all animals die right? But I can’t heal patients because that’s life magic.”

“Huh.” Eddie rubbed his chin. “Okay.”

“Did you have any other questions?”

Slowly, Eddie shook his head. “Not right now. Can I ask them when I think of them?”

Buck nodded, feeling strangely eager. “Sure. Whenever you want.” Then he stiffened slightly as something occurred to him. “Are you going to tell the others?”

“I will if it becomes relevant.” Eddie said seriously, holding eye contact with Buck. “If they need to know in the field. Other than that, it seems like it’s your business.”

It was hard to believe Eddie was real. This whole day had gone so well Buck was buzzing. But, he was beginning to wonder if they should just know about him. Eddie had reacted so well it was giving him hope. “Yeah?”

Eddie gave him a sharp, searching look. “Unless you want me to tell them?”

Would it be better coming from someone they knew and trusted? Even if Eddie hadn’t been there that much longer than Buck had. “Honestly I was kind of expecting Captain Nash to tell everyone before I got here. At my previous station the captain gathered everyone and announced it to them.”

“That’s not Bobby’s style.” Eddie said with a smile. “That’s your business, he doesn’t interfere unless he needs to.”

“Yeah. I guess I’ll… think about it?”

Eddie clapped a hand on his shoulder. “If it helps, I don’t think they’ll react badly. Not most of A shift anyway. But Chim will have a million questions.”

Buck laughed. “I don’t mind questions.” Not like the ones Eddie had been asking him anyway.

“Come on.” Eddie stood and stretched. “Let’s go see who’s winning.”

Chapter Text

The shift so far had been pretty quiet, not that Buck would dare say that out loud. He’d made that mistake only once in his probie year and vowed not to make it again. Not after the venomous glares he’d received for the rest of the shift as they sped from call to call. People had enough reason to dislike him without him adding to it.

Despite the lack of calls, Buck had felt odd all morning. Jittery, like he was expecting something to happen. He figured he’d solve it the way he usually did, by finding something to do.

Bobby had offered to teach Buck to cook when he’d caught him watching with rapt interest as Bobby prepared a meal for them. In the past Buck had never really had the opportunity to learn how to cook, and it seemed like a useless skill to seek out. He didn’t technically have to eat very often, so why bother? But working at the 118 had given him a whole new appreciation for the process of it. Bobby moved around the kitchen like it was an art, giving it his undivided attention. And the food he made wasn’t just fuel, it was something to be savored among friends.

So Buck had eagerly agreed and Bobby had begun taking him through the basics, making Buck his sous chef in the station kitchen.

Eddie was sitting across the counter messing around on his phone while Buck sliced peppers for a stir fry. Though Buck was still very aware of exactly how attractive Eddie was, that knowledge had settled into comfortable background noise, only spiking occasionally. Like when the sunlight caught him just right, or he grinned breathlessly at Buck after a rescue, or when his hair hung wetly over his forehead after a shower. It still made his heart stutter a little. But Eddie was off limits so he ignored it.

Still, attraction or no attraction, he always found himself paying a lot of attention to Eddie, learning his moods, his expressions. So he caught the way Eddie’s brow furrowed deeply.

“Eddie?” Buck asked, putting his knife down.

Expression intense, Eddie stood. “Earthquake.” He said urgently.

In a flash he was around the counter, dragging Buck and Bobby out of the kitchen and away from the dangers lurking there.

“Earthquake!” Eddie yelled as loud as he could, alerting the rest of the station.

Though no one else could see or feel any signs of a quake, no one questioned him. Someone close to the balcony leaned over it and repeated the shout, warning anyone down stairs. Everyone in the loft gathered at the back wall at Bobby’s prompting.

That odd feeling Buck had been noticing intensified. Though he could sense it, he wouldn’t have been able to identify it as an earthquake, he was no earth mage. Besides, he had odd, vaguely magical feelings on a semi regular basis and half the time he never figured out what they meant. But Eddie had just known.

For a few seconds there was expectant silence.

Then the ground began to shake.

Buck watched his abandoned knife skitter across the counter and fall to the floor. Glasses fell from the shelf and shattered against the sink. There were louder crashes from downstairs as things fell over or broke.

“How’d you know?” Buck asked in Eddie’s ear as the quake began to lose steam.

“Heightened senses.” Eddie explained, tapping a finger to his ear. “But mostly instinct. I could just- feel it.”

Buck grinned at him. “Useful.”

Eddie gave a sort of modest shrug. “Comes in handy occasionally.”

When things stopped shaking, they gave it a minute to see if it was really done. Then they headed for the engine. Cleaning up the station would have to come later. That was a serious quake, no doubt calls were about to come flooding in. They may as well get a head start.

In the engine, Eddie was distracted by his phone, mouth twisted in frustration.

“No signal.” He muttered to himself derisively.

“Who are you trying to reach?” Buck asked.

Eddie glanced at him, hesitant. Belatedly, Buck realized he might not want to share, Eddie hadn’t been the most forthcoming with personal information. But then he answered.

“My son. I’m trying to reach my son.”

Buck’s mouth dropped open of its own accord. “You have a kid?”

“Yeah,” Eddie tapped his phone and turned it around. On the screen was an adorable little boy. He had a huge grin and bright eyes behind his glasses. His curly hair fell over his forehead and he leaned forward on his crutches for the photo.

“Oh he’s super adorable!” Buck said excitedly. “I- I love kids.” Though, they didn’t always love him. It didn’t happen often but some kids were sensitive enough to magic to feel the death lingering in the air around him.

Eddie took his phone back, looking down at it with a tender softness Buck hadn’t seen from him before. “I love this one. I’m all he’s got. His mother’s not in the picture.”

It sounded like there was a story there, but Eddie’s voice was tight. Buck decided not to ask. “I’m sure he’s fine.” He said with as much confidence as he could.

Eddie nodded, taking one last look at the picture before he put the phone in his pocket. If asked before, Buck wouldn’t have immediately clocked Eddie as being a parent. But now that he knew, it seemed to make sense. Buck had seen so many examples of shitty parents over the years it was refreshing to see someone who so clearly loved his kid with everything he had.

The engine came to a stop and Buck sucked in a breath. The Grey hung over the whole scene like a fog, 9 already dead and more close to it. The sheer weight of it took Buck’s breath away, it wasn’t often he encountered so much death in such a concentrated area. But he would just have to get used to it.

“You good?” Eddie asked with a frown.

Unable to tear his gaze away from the building, he said, “9 dead so far.”

Following Buck’s eyeline, Eddie scanned the building. “You can like- sense that? From out here?”

Buck just nodded.

“Can you track where the survivors are?” Eddie asked, watching him intently.

“If they’re very close to death, then probably yes. If they’re fine I might be able to do it at short range. All the death in the air it- it’s hard to concentrate.”

“Useful.” Eddie murmured thoughtfully.

“Sometimes.” Buck said quietly, though he had no doubt Eddie heard it.

-

Inside the building the miasma of death only got thicker. His flesh thrummed with the power of it. Sometimes Buck hated how good the power felt, someone else’s tragic death shouldn’t feel so electric.

Trying to block it all out, Buck followed Eddie through the ruined building.

“Wait.” Eddie said, stopping Buck in his tracks. “You hear that?”

Buck cocked his head, trying to listen for what Eddie was hearing. He could hear the wind coming through broken windows, the creaking and shifting of metal and concrete. But he wasn’t sure what Eddie meant. “What?”

“A voice. This way.” Eddie led the way confidently down the corridor and Buck was hot on his heels.

It wasn’t until they were almost there that Buck could hear her, Eddie hadn’t been kidding about the enhanced senses. The thick hotel door muffled her shouts until they pried it open.

A young woman was crouched against a pillar, the floor tilted at a dangerous angle down from the door. Eddie headed inside while Buck stayed behind to work the lines. It looked like a simple enough rescue. Until the aftershock hit.

Eddie had almost reached her when the whole building shook, sending her skittering across the floor and out the open window.

Trusting Buck to have his line, Eddie made a desperate dive for her. Braced against the door, Buck couldn’t really see what was happening, so he focused his attention on keeping the line taut so Eddie wouldn’t fall out the window after her.

“Got her!” Eddie grunted through the effort.

Reading between the lines, Buck pumped magic into hauling them both up. He overestimated it a bit, with so much power in the air, and the pair of them shot towards the door.

Eddie had managed to catch the woman by her wrists as she fell, an impressive feat of strength. Now he braced her as they hit the doorway and Buck helped haul them both into the corridor where they could lean against the wall and catch their breath.

The woman, who gave her name as Ali, was a little bruised but well enough to walk. So they headed down the stairs, keeping Ali in the middle of them.

When a call came over the radio urging Hen to respond, Buck’s stomach sank. He automatically cast his awareness out to search for her familiar life signature. It was always easier to find people he knew well. But she was too far away, there was too much else happening.

Eddie met his eyes, a question lurking there. But Buck could only shrug helplessly, he had no idea whether she was alright. So Eddie nodded grimly.

“A friend of yours?” Ali asked, looking between the two of them.

“Yeah.” Buck said, forcing lightness into his voice. “They’ll find her. It’s easy to go out of radio range in a building like this.” It wasn’t, not really, but Ali didn’t need to know that. They just needed to get her out and safe without distraction.

They collected another patient on the way down the building and they were about to head out when Buck felt it. Another death. The feeling of it swept over his skin giving him goosebumps. Could it be Hen? He examined the feeling and found no familiarity in it, but it was hard to be sure. It had definitely come from the base of the building.

The moment they handed their patients over to an EMT, Buck and Eddie went in search of their team.

There was still no sign of Hen. She’d last been seen on the first floor, but had seemingly fallen through into the parking garage. Technically they had been ordered out of the building as there was danger of a complete collapse. But Chim and Bobby had yet to be accounted for outside the building. A single silent look between Buck and Eddie said there was no way they were leaving their team to fend for themselves.

Buck could be exceedingly annoying when he wanted to be. Something that was usually accidental could become a tool under the right circumstances. So he pestered the incident commander until she grudgingly allowed them back into the south side of the building. The number of firefighters that volunteered to go in with them was heartening- and maybe said something about the kind of people their line of work attracted.

They headed into the parking garage to find Bobby and Chim doing their best with the tools they had. But a team of firefighters with equipment was more effective. They dug through the layers of debris cutting them off from Hen with agonizing slowness, having to check anything they moved wouldn’t bring the roof down on them.

Finally, they moved another slab of concrete and revealed a pocket of dark space.

“Hen?” Chim called into the darkness, voice cautious and hopeful.

They waited with bated breath. But Buck was already smiling. He could feel Hen’s life signature getting closer.

Hen appeared in the gap, carrying a little girl on her shoulders. Both of them were coated in dust and debris but were whole and alive. The firefighters cheered.

But as she stepped forward, a huge slab of concrete shifted. Sliding at an angle that would crush her, the child, and several other firefighters.

The building was beginning to come down.

Buck threw his hands up.

Chapter Text

Throwing his hands up, Buck poured power through him. There was no need to even tap into his reserves, he just used what was in the air. Black tendrils appeared around him as the slab of concrete stopped dead less than a foot from Hen.

No one moved, all of them frozen in shock. They all knew exactly what this kind of magic meant.

Buck had reacted instinctively. But even if he’d had time to think, he would have made the same decision. He’d known from the moment he entered the academy that keeping his source a secret ranked low on his list of priorities at his job. Saving lives would always be more important.

Calmly, Buck said, “You should go. The building is coming down.” He could hear the inhuman rasp in his own voice, the magic around him so thick it affected his vocal cords.

But it got everyone moving. They evacuated the area with the neat efficiency of practice. Bobby took the child and Chim offered an arm to Hen. But Eddie hovered next to Buck.

“Go.” Buck ordered.

“Can you walk while you do that?” Eddie asked, ignoring the order.

“Slowly.” Buck admitted through his annoyance.

“Boys?” Bobby asked. Out of the corner of his eye Buck could see Bobby hesitating.

“We’ll be right behind you Cap!” Eddie assured him. “Just get everyone else out.”

“Be careful. I want you both out safe.” Then Bobby turned and followed the others.

Uncaring of the magic around Buck, Eddie put his hand on Buck’s shoulder. Without thought Buck felt the way his magic curled around Eddie’s arm in greeting.

“Step back.” Eddie said quietly.

Step by step, Eddie guided Buck backwards, warning him of hazards as they went. It was something Buck could have done alone, very slowly and with agonizing effort. But instead he just put all his trust in Eddie and stepped where he was told.

Buck had no idea how far they were from the exit but he was beginning to hit the limit on how far he could be from something he was pushing that much magic into. “When I turn, we run.”

“Got it.” Eddie agreed without hesitation.

They kept stepping back until the connection began to stretch and waver, the building gave an ominous shriek of twisting metal. Turning, Buck pushed Eddie ahead of him as they pelted full speed out of the garage.

The exit was surprisingly close, they’d made it further than Buck was expecting. Just as they made it out, a thundering crash shook the air. A cloud of dust billowed from the exit just as Buck and Eddie collapsed to their knees side by side on the asphalt. More out of relief at making it out okay than anything else.

Bobby was there in a second, checking them both over for injury. But Buck could only stare at Eddie. Once again, Eddie had refused to leave Buck alone even at risk to himself. It was still hard to believe.

Once Bobby was satisfied that neither of them were hurt he told them that Chim had gone with Hen to the hospital. Apparently her ribs were hurting and Hen didn’t think it was anything too bad but after a fall like that Chim was adamant she should get it checked.

As Buck and Eddie were helped to their feet, incident commander Williams came over.

“You boys alright?” She asked.

“All good.” Buck gave her a thumbs up as Eddie gave her a nod.

“Can you tell me how many dead?” Williams gestured to the building.

Right. If people knew he was a death mage they knew to ask for his skills. Another reason he probably should have been more open about it. Buck looked over his shoulder, evaluating. It seemed there had been another death during that last collapse and Buck felt a twinge of guilt that they’d managed to find Hen but not them. “11.”

“You’re certain?”

Buck nodded. “11 dead.”

“Any survivors?” Williams asked more hesitantly now.

“I can’t tell.” Buck grimaced. “Sorry, it doesn’t really work like that. But there’s no one else close to death so…”

Williams waved away the apology. “Understood.” She turned to Bobby. “Get your team home Captain, the 118 is released.”

Bobby nodded respectfully to her. “Thank you.” When she left, he turned to Buck and Eddie, eyes flicking between their faces. “Alright, you heard the commander. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

It had been a long day for all of them, so the ride back to the station was mostly quiet with exhaustion. Buck tried not to fidget too much.

They got back and headed for the showers, they would debrief properly next shift. But Bobby caught Buck’s shoulder on his way past.

“That was an incredible save Buck, that could have been a tragedy.” Bobby said seriously.

Buck’s cheeks heated at the unexpected approval. “Thanks Cap.”

“But that must have been a lot of power- to hold so much. Are you alright?” There was a note of concern in his voice now.

“I’m fine- more than honestly. There was so much death in the air I didn’t even have to use my own power.” If anything the whole event had overloaded his system a little. He’d be bouncing off the walls for a few days until it settled.

Bobby made a face and Buck realized belatedly that he probably didn’t want to be reminded that Buck’s ability to save them had hinged on the loss of life at the scene.

“I can’t say I know much about death magic.” Bobby said reluctantly. “Much less than I should- half the time I feel like I still don’t understand elemental magic. But this has shown me I need to learn. I want to be able to support you and make the best decisions in the field.”

Buck stared at him. “Oh.”

“I realize that death mages are secretive about their practices, but-”

“Yeah we’re not really- meant to give details about certain things.” Buck interrupted without really meaning to. “But there are things I can tell you. I’ve already been giving Eddie a crash course so we can work better together.”

Bobby smiled at him. “That would be great, Buck. Now go get your shower, we can talk next shift.”

Buck showered quickly and dressed before heading out. In the parking lot, Eddie was standing by his car cursing as he tapped at his phone. Buck had expected him to be long gone by now, so he jogged over.

“What’s up?”

Eddie glanced at him, frustration written into every line of his face. “Truck’s not working. I don’t have time to work out what’s wrong with it, I have to get Chris. I’m trying to get an Uber but-” The chances of him being able to get one at this time, coupled with the chaos of the day, were slim.

“I’ll drive you.” Buck offered before he knew what he was doing.

Surprised, Eddie looked at him. “Really?”

Buck cursed himself inwardly. Though Eddie was cool with working alongside a death mage, that didn’t mean he was eager to introduce one to his kid. But- well. He’d said it now. May as well double down. “Yeah, of course. He’ll be waiting hours otherwise.”

“You’re a lifesaver, thanks Buck.” Eddie gave him a relieved smile. “I’ll have to put his car seat in the back of your jeep, is that okay?” He was already moving to the back door of his truck to retrieve it.

Buck had to take a moment to reboot. There was stuff strewn on the back seat of his jeep because no one ever sat there, but that was easily fixed. “Y-yeah. That’s fine.” He said quickly, unlocking his jeep and leaning in to shove the debris aside and clear a space for the car seat.

It was a good thing Eddie was practiced in the art of installing car seats because it looked like a headache and probably would have taken Buck half an hour, and then another half an hour to make sure he’d done it right.

Eddie rattled off directions as they drove, his leg bouncing slightly with the urge to move. Buck was still twitchy too, the power of so many deaths lingering. Most of it was settling into the reservoir of power he pulled on when he needed it- most often when he was mildly injured. But there was so much it kept threatening to overflow. Only having a defined task- help Eddie get Chris home- was keeping him focused.

When they pulled up at the curb, Eddie was out of the car before it had even stopped. Buck took a moment to park safely, then got out of his jeep and leaned against it as he watched Eddie pull his son into his arms. They were both so joyous Buck couldn’t help but smile in response. Even by the way Eddie had talked about Chris, and his worry for him, it had seemed like he was a good dad. The way Chris absolutely lit up when he saw Eddie and launched himself into his dads’ arms only cemented that belief.

They talked for a minute, though Buck couldn’t hear what they were saying. Then Eddie pointed back at him and Chris peered out at him curiously. Buck waved and gave a smile, trying to seem unthreatening. It was still a little surreal that Eddie was so comfortable just introducing Buck to his son. Even if it was out of necessity.

He fidgeted nervously as they came out to meet him after waving goodbye to the teacher that had been watching Chris.

“This is my friend Buck from work.” Eddie introduced him.

“Hi I’m Chris.” Chris offered his hand out for a shake, his crutch hanging from his forearm as he leaned on the other one.

“Nice to meet you Chris.” Buck shook his hand seriously like it was a business meeting.

“Are you really a mage?” Chris asked, sounding excited.

Smiling sheepishly, Buck nodded. “Sure am.”

“What’s your magic source?”

Buck probably should have expected that question, it was the natural progression. “Uh-” A little panicked, he glanced at Eddie.

“Alright, let’s not interrogate him.” Eddie said kindly, though there was a note of warning in his voice. “He’s been kind enough to offer us a ride home.”

Frowning up at his dad, Chris asked, “What happened to the truck?”

“It’s not working. I’m going to get it fixed tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay.” Chris accepted that easily enough.

Buck opened the back door and Eddie got Chris situated in his car seat. When they were all ready to go, Eddie gave Buck his address so he could put it into the maps app on his phone.

“Do you like dinosaurs?” Chris asked seemingly out of nowhere.

Glancing over his shoulder Buck remembered the Natural History Museum brochure he’d tossed back there weeks ago with the vague intention of visiting someday. “Yeah I do.”

“Did you know that ‘dinosaur’ means terrible lizard? But they aren’t actually lizards.”

Buck had, in fact, known that. But he said, “Really? That’s so cool! I guess that means they make terrible lizards.”

Chris laughed at his terrible joke and Buck was almost deliriously proud of himself.

“So if they aren’t lizards, do you know what they really are?” Buck prompted.

Sitting up in his seat excitedly, Chris answered, “Reptiles!”

“So what’s your favorite dinosaur?”

Chris launched immediately into a lecture about the pros and cons of different dinosaurs, with Buck occasionally chiming in with his not insignificant knowledge on the subject. He’d spent a lot of time bored as a kid, and had often filled that time by reading non fiction books on all kinds of random topics.

Apparently Eddie was content to just sit back and watch, only occasionally adding to the conversation. Buck got the feeling he’d heard Chris rant about dinosaurs many times before.

When they made it to the Diaz house, Buck couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. He would happily spend another few hours with them both.

“Can I show Buck my dinosaurs?” Chris asked as he scrambled out of his car seat.

“Uh-” Buck looked at Eddie for guidance.

“Maybe next time mijo, it’s been a long day for everyone.”

Though he was surprised by the implication there would be a next time, Buck backed Eddie up. “I won’t be able to properly appreciate them if I’m too tired.”

For that he got a smile from Eddie.

“Okay.” Chris said reluctantly.

“Alright, say thanks to Buck and head inside.” Eddie said, handing over the house keys.

“Thanks Buck!” Chris threw over his shoulder.

“You’re welcome Chris!” Buck shot back.

Eddie watched Chris long enough to make sure he got the door unlocked alright before he turned to Buck. “Seriously Buck, thank you. Who knows how long he would have had to wait if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“I’m happy to help.” Buck said sincerely. “Besides, you’re the one that walked me out of a collapsing building today.”

“Nah that was nothing.” Eddie waved it off with a smile.

“What time should I come tomorrow?”

Surprised, Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. “Tomorrow?” They both had the day off.

“You don’t have a car and Chris will need to get to school right? You can leave the car seat where it is and we can drop him off and go get your truck.”

For a long moment Eddie just watched him and Buck began to worry if he’d overstepped somehow.

“Are you sure? I can call someone else.” Eddie said slowly.

“Of course.” Buck tried to pour as much surety into his voice as he could.

“Alright. Come by at 8 and have breakfast with us? I don’t think you’ll escape the house without looking at at least one dinosaur.”

Though Eddie sounded vaguely apologetic, Buck thought that sounded great. “Okay! I’ll be there.”

All the way back to his place Buck tapped his fingers on his steering wheel. Thrilled at the prospect of having plans outside of work that weren’t just by himself.

Chapter Text

Eddie wasn’t sure exactly what he’d expected would happen when Chris and Buck met one another. But he could say for certain he hadn’t expected them to get on like a house on fire within seconds of being introduced. Buck wasn’t just tolerant of Chris’ presence, didn’t just indulge in what Chris wanted to talk about. He talked to Chris on his level, seeming genuinely delighted to hear everything Chris had to say and to tell him fun facts in return.

Though Eddie was approaching three months working with the 118, he’d been reluctant to tell his colleagues about Christopher. Not that he was ashamed of his son, Chris was the best, sweetest kid and the light of Eddie’s life. But since Eddie was nineteen he’d heard every variation of judgement about how he chose to parent Chris. There were enough fears and insecurities constantly clamoring in his head without anyone else adding to them. He already knew Chris deserved better than anything Eddie could ever give him.

But it was a little easier telling Buck, because at least Buck didn’t have kids of his own. He didn’t have prior experience to judge Eddie from, just accepted what Eddie said. Besides, Buck was just easy to talk to. He always listened so intently, never seemed bored of Eddie. So he found himself actually looking forward to Buck coming over for breakfast.

Chris was bouncing with excitement to the point that he didn’t even grumble once about being woken up for school. Which maybe proved the point that Chris and Eddie needed more socialization outside of school and work, but he tried not to think too hard about that.

With some effort, Eddie managed to negotiate Chris into choosing just three of his dinosaur toys to show Buck over breakfast. Chris had been ready to set up a miniature Jurassic Park in the dining room until Eddie intervened. Though he had a sneaking suspicion Buck would be happy to sit in Chris’ room for an hours long lecture about every dinosaur Chris owned and never once get bored.

As he was packing Chris’ school bag, Eddie’s phone began to ping.

Buck - what shud i say if Chris asks abt my source again
Buck - shud I tell him
Buck - death is kinda heavy for a breakfast convo
Buck - i don’t mind lying
Buck - unless u want him to kno

Eddie rolled his eyes in amusement. He got the feeling Buck had been thinking about that all night when he could have just texted to ask earlier.

Eddie - It’s your source Buck you can tell him if you want. Chris already knows abt the different sources he just hasn’t met many mages

Buck - u sure?
Buck - don’t wanna scare him

Eddie - I’m sure. He’ll be curious tho don’t answer any questions you dont want to

Buck - k cool :)
Buck - b there soon

With a shake of his head, Eddie put his phone down and hoped Buck didn’t spend too much more time spiraling about it. Chris was fascinated by the concept of magic, he had books about it and he always asked to watch tv shows or movies with mages in. Though, now that Eddie thought about it, if death mages were included they tended to be antagonists. Something he needed to pay more attention to, perhaps.

Eddie wasn’t exactly the best cook. He could get by but he’d never had the chance to properly practice, he was always so busy. So, as a thanks for everything Buck was doing for them and as a little treat for Chris in apology for leaving him at school for so long, Eddie decided to order in. As far as he’d seen at the station, Buck inhaled pretty much anything that was put in front of him. And Chris, thank god, wasn’t too picky. So Eddie ordered a selection for them to share.

He wasn’t trying to impress Buck, he told himself as he set the table in the dining room rather than the kitchen, he just felt like he should make an effort. Buck was going to all this trouble for a coworker he’d known less than a month- the thought pulled Eddie up short. Had it really been less than a month? After a short teething period he and Buck had gotten along so well it felt like they’d known one another for years. Their coworkers were already joking they were attached at the hip.

At ten minutes to eight, Eddie heard Buck’s jeep pull up outside the house. He waited for the knock on the door but it didn’t come. After a few minutes Eddie peered out the window and realized Buck was just waiting in his car. Was he really waiting until it hit eight on the dot?

Shaking his head, Eddie opened the front door. Buck jumped in his seat, looking at Eddie like a child caught out putting his hand in the cookie jar.

“You coming in?” Eddie called out.

Buck fumbled for the handle and popped the door open. “Y-yeah! Totally, I was just-” He gestured lamely at the jeep but apparently couldn’t think of anything to say.

It was odd, the way Buck was generally such a terrible liar. But when he wanted to hide something he apparently knew how to do it seamlessly, to the point where no one could tell there was even something to look for until it was forcibly outed.

Giving up on whatever excuse he was trying to give, Buck just stepped into the house. He looked around curiously and Eddie tried not to fidget. He wondered what the place looked like from fresh eyes. He loved it because it was just his and Christopher’s, a fresh start where they could both be themselves. But he knew, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t much.

“Nice place.” Buck said, sounding genuine. “Feels like a home.”

It was the best compliment Eddie could have hoped for. But there was something odd and almost wistful about the way he said ‘home’, the way he stared around the living room. It was a striking reminder of just how much Eddie didn’t know about Buck, despite how quickly they’d clicked. Were Buck’s parents even alive? It didn’t seem like the right time to ask.

“Thanks.” Eddie led the way to the dining room. “Food should be here in a sec. You want something to drink?”

Buck trailed behind Eddie, still taking in his surroundings with interest. “Yeah, whatever you have is fine, I-”

“Hey Buck!” Chris said excitedly, appearing from the hall.

Turning, Buck threw his arms open as if in surprise. “Hey buddy! Oh, nice Superman shirt!”

Chris looked up at him. “You like Superman too?”

“Sure do.”

“Daddy prefers Batman.” Chris explained.

“Hey, what can I say? I prefer gadgets over superpowers.” Eddie gave a shrug as he brought their drinks through from the kitchen.

“That works out, because Batman and Superman make a great team, just like you guys.” Buck pulled out Chris’ chair for him before claiming his own seat.

“Who’s your favorite superhero?” Chris asked.

“Well, I always liked Rogue from the X-men. But if we’re talking Batman or Superman, I’d have to go with Superman.”

Chris held up a hand for a high five and Buck obliged him. Eddie thought of the character Rogue. From what he remembered she was alone among people with incredible powers, struggling with something that had great ability to harm. Did Buck identify with her or was Eddie reading too far into it? Maybe Buck had just thought she was hot.

The food arrived and Eddie answered the door. Before he had to juggle the bags he was handed so he could give the delivery driver a tip, Buck appeared at his side and took the food to the table.

As they ate, Chris held court with his dinosaurs. As expected, Buck listened with rapt attention and seemed quite taken with the dinosaur that had a biting function.

“Do you do lots of magic at work?” Chris asked eventually. It was clear this was something he’d been thinking about.

Buck gave a ‘so-so’ gesture. “Sometimes. It’s not always needed.” He’d gone a little tense.

“He’s had my back a couple times, he’s really good at it.” Eddie said.

Ducking his head bashfully at the compliment, Buck flushed slightly. “So uh, your dad said you know about all the magic sources?”

Chris nodded. “There’s fire, water, earth, air, life and death. Water is my favorite.”

Buck smiled. “Water is pretty cool. But uhm- I’m actually…” He glanced at Eddie for one last check.

Trying to seem encouraging, Eddie nodded.

“The source of my magic is death.”

For a moment there was silence as they waited for Chris’ reaction. His eyes just seemed to get wider and wider.

“Really?”

If Buck got any more tense he was going to start vibrating. “Yeah-”

“That’s so cool!”

Buck blinked at him. “That’s- cool?”

“Just like Mortis!” Chris scrambled up from his seat and headed for his room.

Eddie winced. Mortis was the villain from the first arc of Seroval, a comic series Chris loved. And Chris just so happened to have a somewhat knock off action figure of him. He explained as much to Buck, who just looked confused.

“But Chris… likes him?”

Eddie nodded. “Mortis is his favorite. He has some kind of redemption arc I think?”

Buck fiddled with his glass. “Hadn’t heard of that.” Then he tipped his head. “I’ve had much worse reactions.”

What kind of reactions had Buck gotten to have him so terrified of Chris’ reaction? It was making more sense that he’d been so hesitant about telling the team.

Chris reappeared with his action figure. “This is Mortis. He has skeleton warriors he can raise from the dead. Can you do that?”

Laughing a little hysterically, Buck shook his head. “No, I don’t have any skeleton warriors.” But he was smiling now at least.

“Okay Chris, time for school.” Eddie said with a glance at the time.

“What? But I want to talk to Buck!” Sounding aggrieved, Chris looked between him and Buck.

“You can talk to Buck next time buddy, it’s time for school.” Standing, Eddie chivvied him along. “Time to roll out.”

As Buck took his plate to the kitchen he looked a little more settled.

Chris chattered happily about Seroval as they drove him to school, requiring little input from anyone else. When they made it to school Chris was mollified by the promise of seeing Buck again some time soon and went inside without any more argument. After they waved him off, they headed towards the station to see about Eddie’s truck.

“You okay?” Eddie asked as they sat in traffic.

“Huh? Yeah- yeah I’m okay.” Buck nodded too many times like a bobble head.

“You sure? I’m sorry if he- rattled you.”

Glancing over at Eddie, Buck shook over his head. “No, really it just… surprised me. Death mages are often the villains, that makes sense. But I wasn’t expecting him to have a death mage as his favorite character it’s…”

It seemed like this was too complex a conversation for so early in the morning. “He really does think you’re awesome.”

Buck frowned. “You just… you might want to be careful about that.”

Frowning in response, Eddie sat forward. “What do you mean?”

“Death mages are dangerous.”

Buck said it with so much cold conviction Eddie couldn’t find it in him to argue. But he couldn’t just leave it either.

“You would never hurt him.” Eddie said with almost as much conviction.

There was silence for a long moment.

“No. I wouldn’t.” Buck admitted lowly. “But death mages- we aren’t feared for no reason. Not all of them are like me.”

“We can talk to him.” As Chris got older there were more and more difficult conversations they had to have. If it would make Buck feel better, Eddie would happily add that to the list.

“Okay.” Buck relaxed into his seat, taking a deep and deliberate breath. “He’s a really good kid though Eddie. You’ve done a great job raising him.”

It was Eddie’s turn to tense. “I- I guess.”

Apparently catching the odd tone, Buck glanced at him. “You guess?”

“I…” Eddie looked down at his hands. “I’m just trying my best.”

“Your best seems pretty good from what I’ve seen.” Buck said softly.

The rest of the drive was quiet as they both got caught in their own thoughts. Buck turned on the bluetooth and put a playlist on, letting the music fill the silence.

When they got to Eddie’s truck the mood was lighter again. They joked back and forth as they put together their knowledge of vehicles and managed to fix the truck. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn’t have to pay through the nose for a tow truck and a mechanic.

It was more of a relief because the full moon was coming up before his next shift and Eddie had errands to run. He needed his truck. Sometimes it seemed like he’d only just recovered from the previous one and there the moon was again. It was only lucky he still had wolfsbane tincture left over from last time.

“Thanks Buck.” Eddie said as they prepared to go their own ways for the day. “Do you want to come over after our next shift?”

Grinning at him, Buck nodded. “Sure!” There was no hint of the dark way he’d spoken about death mages, he was all sunshiney smiles again. “That sounds great. I’ll see you at work.”

Chapter Text

Buck pulled into the station parking lot with ten minutes to spare before the start of shift. Most days he got there earlier, to give himself plenty of time to get ready. But he’d spent a good chunk of his morning procrastinating, worried about people’s reaction to the very dramatic reveal of his source.

Of course, the reveal had only been dramatic because he was saving their lives. He didn’t really think they would react terribly after that but- still. He’d had two positive reactions recently and it just seemed greedy to expect more.

More than once he’d considered texting Eddie to ask how he thought the others were going to react. But it seemed unfair to bother Eddie with Buck’s deeply rooted anxiety after he’d been so kind about the whole thing. Hell he’d even been fine introducing a death mage to his seven year old, that wasn’t a level of trust Buck was used to receiving.

But there was no more putting it off. Getting out of the jeep, Buck tried to stay confident. There were a lot of people around as the shift changed over from C to A. Meaning there were plenty of eyes to watch his progress and plenty of conversations to die as he passed.

Weirdly, it was almost comforting. This was what he was more familiar with. So he held his head up high and gave a smile to anyone he made eye contact with. Making a beeline for his locker, Buck let people look their fill.

Carter and Jackson were sitting on the benches chatting idly as they laced up their boots. Buck grabbed his uniform, trying to be as quick as possible.

“Hey Buck.” Carter gave him a smile.

Surprised, Buck turned and gave her a smile in return. “Hey Sam. Daniel.”

Jackson gave him a nod. “Sounds like C shift had back to back calls all night. Hopefully things have calmed down a bit.”

“Yeah, hopefully the crazy was only overnight.” Glancing out, Buck figured C shift did look more tired than usual. And- more importantly, there was Eddie walking in to work and he looked just as tired.

It wasn’t just the dark circles under his eyes, though they were noticeable. But even the way he held himself seemed aching and exhausted.

Buck watched him closely as Eddie opened the locker next to Buck’s. “You good?”

“Yeah fine.” Eddie attempted to give him a smile, but it was weak.

“You sure? Because-”

Eddie huffed, clearly not in the mood.

Before Eddie could get annoyed, Buck changed tactics. “You could probably lie down until we get a call.”

“I don’t need to-” Eddie tried.

“I think the bunks are empty. And I can cover for you.”

Eddie squinted at him. “If I say I’ll lie down after breakfast will you shut up about it?”

Pleased with himself, Buck grinned at him. “Yes I will.”

Once they were in uniform they headed upstairs to find their team. Bobby was already in the kitchen putting something together for breakfast, Chim and Hen sat across the counter.

Bobby noticed them first. “Morning guys.” He said with a smile.

“Buck!” Hen cried out excitedly, rushing over to them.

Before Buck could react, Hen had gathered him in a huge hug.

Stunned, Buck awkwardly patted her back. “Hi Hen.”

Hen pulled back and held his shoulders so she could look him in the face. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you, but you saved my life.”

“Oh- I mean- I was just doing my job.” Buck said weakly.

Hen shook him gently. “That is not just your job Buck! You held up a whole building- that’s above and beyond.”

“I thought we were all going to be pancakes.” Chim said emphatically, appearing to slap Buck on the upper arm because his shoulders were occupied with Hen’s hands. “Didn’t realize we had a secret powerhouse over here.”

Buck’s gaze flicked between the two of them, completely overwhelmed.

“So no good morning for me huh?” Eddie asked with a tired smile, already moving past them. “I see how it is. Guess I’ll have to catch the next building.”

Laughing, Chim shoved him playfully. Eddie shoved him back but Buck caught the wince. As they headed over to the table, Hen slung an arm around Buck.

“Seriously Buck. Thank you. I know you might not have wanted to reveal the source of your magic like… that.” Hen said seriously.

Shrugging slightly, Buck shook his head. “It’s fine Hen. It was always going to come out. I just didn’t think it would be quite that dramatic.”

“Were you worried about telling us?”

“Ah-” Buck winced. “Not worried exactly. It’s just… always impossible to tell how people will react. I’m usually the first death mage people have met- there really aren’t many of us.”

Hen nodded in understanding. “Well we’re very glad to have you here.”

Putting an arm around Hen in return, Buck squeezed her shoulder. “I’m very glad to be here.”

Together they set the table and laid out breakfast, all sitting down together. Buck hadn’t had so many sit down meals with other people since he was a child forced to sit at the suffocating dinner table with his family. This was so much better though. Chatter flying back and forth, food being passed from person to person.

“Hey.” Chim said suddenly, grabbing Hen’s arm. “Does this mean Eddie won the bet?”

Looking somewhat smug, Eddie smiled. “I guess so.”

Hen narrowed her eyes at him. “Wait. You knew- you cheat!”

Eddie held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t know when I made the bet! It was a total guess. But I did know before the earthquake.”

Looking to Buck for confirmation, Hen raised an eyebrow.

Buck nodded. “I actually- I overheard you guys making the bet.”

The three of them turned to Buck with wide eyes.

“Guys.” Sounding aggrieved, Bobby glared half-heartedly at them. “Really? I know I can’t stop the rampant gambling in the house- but you at least need to be discreet about it.”

“I thought we were!” Hen protested.

“Were you magic spying on us?” Chim asked, sounding almost excited about the prospect.

“No!” Buck laughed. “I was cleaning the truck and I heard you guys talking by the ambulance.”

Sighing, Hen shook her head. “So much for secrecy. I thought you were in the loft!”

Buck shrugged, unapologetic. “Guess you’ve gotta pay more attention to your surroundings Wilson.”

Hen grumbled something inaudible and Chim just laughed. Then Hen turned serious again. “Buck- I’m sorry if we made you feel-”

“I don’t mind, really. Besides, you guys bet on everything. I’d almost be offended if I was left out.” Buck insisted.

By this point Bobby had his head in his hands, muttering something about station policy.

“So, about my winnings…” Eddie prompted.

“Oh you’ve won so much.” Hen said, swatting at Eddie with her napkin. “It was supposed to be a split pot, but you were the only one who said death mage. I’ll give it to you end of shift.”

Eddie gave her a salute. “Thank you ma’am.”

They all fell about laughing again.

After breakfast, Buck volunteered for clean up duty before prodding Eddie towards the stairs. Though Eddie gave him a baleful glare, he headed for the bunks. Feeling triumphant, Buck turned to find Bobby eyeing him.

“What?” Buck asked.

Bobby shook his head. “Nothing.” he said innocently, turning away.

As Buck moved the plates for washing up, he caught sight of the calendar hanging on the wall and remembered that it had been the full moon the previous night. Though- that seemed strange. Buck was hardly an expert in werewolf behaviour but he’d worked with a few in his time. They usually came back from a full moon energized and raring to go, full of animal energy. But Eddie seemed thoroughly exhausted. Maybe it was different for him?

“So.” Chim began as he dried the plates Buck had washed. “Death mage.”

When Buck glanced over his shoulder he found Hen and Bobby watching them with interest too. So he took them through the basic explanation he’d given Eddie in how his magic worked. It was always difficult to put into words, but they listened patiently without interruption until he was done.

“I was going to say- I don’t think most of the mages I’ve worked with would have been able to hold up a building like that.” Chim said.

Buck shrugged. “Depends on the mage. Some mages can be like- really economical with their power, y’know? If they were strategic about it they might have been able to do the same thing with less power. But for me there was so much power in the air I could just… brute force it.”

Of all of them, Hen seemed to have grasped the mechanics of it the fastest. “Does that create issues with control?”

Impressed by her leap of understanding, Buck nodded. “Some types of magic are more intricate, so they actually get more difficult when there’s more power. Like trying to pour the ocean through a wooden water wheel without breaking it.”

Eventually teaching time was interrupted by the alarm. When Eddie appeared to join them he looked a little more himself and he bumped his shoulder against Buck’s companionably as he passed.

-

Later that afternoon, Buck and Chim were playing cards at the table. Eddie was vaguely watching them and Bobby was doing a crossword, occasionally calling out a clue he was stuck on. It had been a reasonably slow day, leaving them too much free time.

“So.” Hen began as she joined them. “In order to celebrate the fact that we didn’t all get squished into pancakes, Karen and I would like to invite you guys over for food and games on Saturday afternoon. Athena is already in and she’s bringing Harry.” She gave Bobby a significant look that he studiously ignored. “So, if any of you would like to bring a plus one…”

“Oh, a plus one- how kind of you.” Chim grumbled. “You’re only doing this because you want me to bring her.”

“What?” Hen asked with overblown innocence. “I can’t invite my friends over for a nice afternoon gathering with no ulterior motives?”

“She just wants you to prove that this mystery girlfriend is real.” Eddie said with a wolfish grin.

“She is very much real thank you. And she isn’t my girlfriend. She’s just a friend.” Chim tried to defend himself.

“It is a little odd that you won’t even tell us her name.” Bobby said mildly.

“Because I know Hen will cyberstalk her if I do!” Chim gesticulated wildy, giving Buck a good look at the cards in his hand.

“What’s this about?” Buck asked, confused.

“Chim met this girl but he won’t tell us anything about her, even though he’s clearly obsessed with her.” Hen told him conspiratorially.

As she did, Buck put down a few cards.

Chim pointed a finger at her accusingly. “Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can live vicariously through my dating life!”

Eddie pounced on the wording. “So you admit she is your girlfriend!”

“You’re all insufferable.” Chim shook his head, putting down cards of his own.

“Really though Chim, you should bring her if she’s free.” Bobby said like a peace offering.

Chim sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Fine, fine, I’ll see if she’s free. But only because she’s new to the city and she wants to meet more people.”

“I win.” Buck said as he put down the last of his cards.

“Goddamnit.” Putting his head on the table, Chim groaned.

“What about you Buck?” Hen asked, leaving Chim to his misery.

“Sounds cool- you guys have fun.” Buck said as he gathered up the cards for another round.

“Oh- are you busy?”

Shaking his head, Buck glanced at her, confused. “No?”

Hen seemed hesitant. “Then-”

It clicked in that slow way his brain sometimes had of figuring something out in the background. “Oh! Am I invited?”

Hen laughed, though the sound was a little stilted and confused. “Yeah Buck, you’re invited. Why would we talk about it in front of you if you weren’t?”

Buck shrugged. “I don’t know. So if I’m invited should I- should I bring something?”

Though they tried to be subtle about it, Buck caught the glances the others gave one another. Apparently he was being even stranger than usual.

“You don’t have to bring anything if you don’t want, just yourself.” Hen sounded kind.

Nodding too many times, Buck gave her a smile. “Okay, yeah sounds good. I’ll be there.”

As though taking pity on him, Eddie put in, “I’ll bring Chris.”

It worked to take the attention off him and Buck took a relieved breath. Hen and Chim looked at Eddie curiously. By Bobby’s expression he already knew about Chris but then- of course he did. He would have looked at Eddie’s paperwork.

Eddie glanced at Buck, nerves clear on his face. Buck tried to give him what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

“He’s my son. Christopher. He’s seven.”

With immediate excitement Chim and Hen both asked about him and Eddie showed them a picture.

“I’m sure Denny and Harry will be excited to have another kid around.” Hen said with a smile.

“Then I’ll make sure to bring him. Chris needs more friends outside school anyway.” Now that he’d said it out loud, Eddie almost seemed more settled.

They hashed out the rest of the details and agreed to meet up at the Wilson house at two on Saturday afternoon.

Chapter Text

Eddie looked at the stack of money Hen had pressed into his hand. She hadn’t been kidding, it was a decent chunk. Apparently the bet had spread from A shift out to B and C before Buck’s dramatic reveal. If the pot had been split among people as it was intended it would have been a more reasonable amount.

Someone whistled appreciatively and he looked up to see Buck leaning against the truck and looking at Eddie’s winnings with exaggerated appreciation. “Not bad Diaz.”

Eddie grimaced at him. “Doesn’t feel like a fair win. I only got it right because I was being a dick while betting on you.”

“There wasn’t some little instinct telling you I was a death mage?” Buck asked playfully.

“No- not one that I was aware of consciously anyway.” Sometimes he did things without really knowing why, only to realize later it had been buried instinct. But he didn’t think that was what had happened here. “Chim said there were only four options and I just wanted to be difficult. Feels like this should really be yours.”

“Nah.” Buck waved him off before Eddie could even begin to offer him the money. “If you really feel that bad about it, use it for Chris. Take him somewhere fun or something.”

Eddie considered that. It seemed like a decent compromise. “That sounds like a good idea. You should come with.”

“Really?” Buck was surprised.

Every time they included Buck in something, he got this deer in the headlights expression like he couldn’t believe what was happening. Like the genuine surprise he’d shown at just being invited to Hen’s house. Eddie guessed they would just have to keep inviting him places until he got used to it.

“Yeah. If you want. I know it’s not everyone’s idea of fun to hang out with a single dad and his seven year old…”

Buck took the bait, as expected. “No, no, that would be great! Sounds like fun.”

“Great. Next week?”

“Yeah okay!” Buck tapped the side of the truck excitedly, before they both headed home.

-

Eddie had spent most of his Saturday morning trying not to look at his phone. Because he hadn’t had it in him to open the message yet. But every time he looked at his phone the preview in his notifications mocked him.

Shannon: I’m in town. Can we talk? I want to…

He hadn’t opened it because then he would have to respond. And what the hell was he supposed to say to her? There was part of him that desperately wanted to see Shannon. But there was another part of him that was still standing in that living room reading that damned note. All she’d left before disappearing from their lives was a note. And now she wanted to talk?

Eddie knew that he hadn’t been fair to Shannon. He understood now that the way he’d done it - signing up for a tour of duty without even talking to her about it - had been awful. But Eddie had tried. He’d gotten every second of leave he could and spent it with them. Sent all his wages home. Video called at every opportunity. It wasn’t enough, he knew that now, but he’d tried.

Shannon had just fucking disappeared. Like a ghost. And Eddie didn’t know what to say to Chris. How did you explain to a kid that their mother chose to leave them? But then- how had Shannon explained Eddie’s presence? When he’d gotten back his own kid hadn’t even known him.

The thing was, he could never just be purely angry at Shannon. Maybe that would have made it easier. But every time the rage bubbled up it was soured by dreadful guilt. Because Eddie was the one who had driven her away.

He just didn’t know how to reconcile it all in his head.

By the time 2 was getting close, Eddie was desperate for a distraction. Chris was excited, both to meet other kids and to meet more of Eddie’s work friends. So Eddie tried to be excited too and shoved his phone into his pocket to think about later.

They arrived at Hen and Karen’s place at two on the dot and there were already cars outside, including Buck’s jeep. Chris went ahead of him as Hen opened the door, welcoming them inside warmly.

“Denny!” Hen called into the house. Moments later a boy of about Chris’ age appeared. “Chris, this is my son Denny. Denny, this is Chris.”

Denny gave Chris a smile. “Do you want to see my legos?”

Chris looked up at Eddie, checking. Eddie just nodded, and the boys disappeared deeper into the house.

“Ah, the siren call of legos.” Buck said as he joined them in the entryway.

“They’ll be occupied for a while.” Hen said with a smile before turning to Eddie. “You want a drink? Beer?”

“Please.”

Athena and Bobby were already sitting in the living room with their own drinks and Eddie caught a glimpse of who he assumed was Athena’s son Harry in the room Denny was leading Chris to.

In the kitchen, Hen put her arm around a woman a little shorter than her. “This is my wife, Karen.”

“Nice to meet you, you’re Eddie, right?” Karen offered her hand to shake.

Accepting the handshake, Eddie smiled at her. “Nice to meet you too.”

Karen seemed bright and warm in a way that suited her to Hen, they fitted together nicely. It was interesting to see a slightly different side to Hen than her usual work persona.

Chim arrived as Eddie took his first sip of beer and they all moved to the living room.

“So when is the mystery girl getting here?” Hen asked with an unsubtle raise of her eyebrows as she handed Chim his drink.

“You’re sure she’s actually coming? She doesn’t just ‘go to a different school’?” Buck put teasing air quotes around his words.

“Oh don’t you start.” Chim glared at Buck, then extended the glare to include Hen and Eddie too. “She’s coming by after her shift, so she’ll be here in a little bit. I expect all of you to behave. I don’t want any of you scaring her off.”

Eddie put a hand to his chest, feigning offence. “Us? We would never. If you haven’t already scared her off, we don’t have a chance.”

“I’m sure he’s already prepped her not to listen to a word we say.” Karen said dryly.

Athena leaned forward. “I, for one, am looking forward to meeting Chimney’s new friend.”

“Thank you Athena.” Chim said with relief.

“And to knowing her name so I can finally run a background check.” The glint in Athena’s eye made it unclear whether she was joking.

“I’m doomed.” Chim muttered into his drink.

“Hey, you agreed to invite her.” Bobby said unsympathetically. “You know what we’re like.”

As Chim just laughed and shook his head, the conversation moved on.

Later when Karen got up to check on the food, Buck popped up to help her before anyone else could even offer. He trailed after her to the kitchen like a helpful shadow.

Hen laughed as she watched him go. “Karen thinks he’s adorable. He arrived ten minutes early with fresh baked cookies, she put him to work arranging the furniture and he actually seemed thrilled to do it.”

Eddie grinned. “Sounds like Buck.”

“If he were a puppy she’d be signing the adoption papers.” Hen said ruefully.

“He may as well be a puppy. Just put some- Oh! Do you think he can turn into one?” Chim asked.

“Probably?” Eddie mused. “Buck said it’s easy for him to turn into animals because they’re connected to death.”

“Oh I gotta see this-” Chim made to get up but Bobby put a hand out to stall him.

“Not today.” Bobby said with a quiet firmness.

Because it seemed inevitable that Buck would end up showing off his abilities sooner or later. But not when he’d only just been revealed as a death mage. And not when he’d been surprised to be invited at all.

Before any of them could respond, there was a knock on the door.

Chim was out of his chair like a shot. “She’s here!”

They quieted down in expectation, waiting. The woman Chim ushered into the living room looked nice. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders and her brown eyes were kind as she smiled around at them.

“Everyone, this is my friend Maddie. Maddie this is,” Chim began gesturing to each of them as he introduced them. “Hen, Eddie, Athena, and Bobby. Karen and Buck are in the kitchen I think. Oh, and the kids are… somewhere?”

“Hi.” Maddie gave them a slightly awkward wave. “Nice to meet you guys.”

“Nice to meet you too, welcome in. Would you like a drink?” Hen asked warmly even as she watched Maddie with great interest.

As Maddie took a seat on the sofa next to Chim, Hen brought her a drink.

“Sorry I’m a bit late.” Maddie said with a smile. “It was a hectic shift.”

“Oh? Where do you work?” Eddie asked politely.

“Dispatch. You guys might hear my voice over the radio soon.”

There were more polite questions about how she was getting on and how she was finding living in LA. She answered them easily enough but there was a tension about her. Maybe it was just nerves at meeting new people.

“Kids! Food!” Karen called as she and Buck brought food out and set it up buffet style on the table.

Chim nudged Maddie. “That’s Karen and that’s-”

Buck turned around.

“Evan?” Maddie asked, sounding breathless.

The room went still with surprise. Eddie had half forgotten Buck’s name was actually Evan, no one used it.

Buck’s gaze snapped to her. While Maddie looked like she was seeing a ghost, Buck looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Maddie?”

Eddie frowned in concern, sitting up at alert.

Maddie stood and crossed the space between them. The height difference was enough that she had to crane her neck to look up at him as she pressed her fingertips to Buck’s birthmark as though checking it was real. “Oh my god. It’s really you.”

Buck just kept staring at her. Eddie couldn’t read the look on his face and it made him edgy.

“Evan.” Maddie sounded like she was on the brink of tears. “You got so big.” Then she threw her arms around him.

Buck stiffly brought his arms up and for a moment his hands just hung there suspended. Then he put his arms around her like a marionette.

“Uh.” Chim said uncertainly, looking around the room as if one of them might have answers. None of them did. “Not to break up whatever this is but- what’s happening?”

Maddie turned to him but she kept her hand on Buck’s jacket like she couldn’t bring herself to let go of him even for a second. “Evan is my little brother. We haven’t seen each other in-” She paused as though thinking.

“Eight years.” Buck supplied softly, still staring at her. “It’s been eight years.”

Maddie’s expression crumpled as she turned back to him. “I’m so sorry-”

Like a statue coming to life, Buck shook his head. “It’s okay.” His eyes flickered to Chim for a moment before he asked her, “But- Doug?”

Maddie shook her head quickly. “I left him. I should have left him a long time ago.”

“Good.” Buck said with some feeling. And this time he properly hugged her.

There was so much context the rest of them were missing, no one knew quite what to say. Until that moment none of them even knew Buck had a sister.

“Can we eat?” Harry asked into the silence, looking around as though the grown ups had gone crazy.

It broke the tension in the room.

Hen laughed. “Let’s all get some food and sit down hmm? Grab a plate everyone.”

Taking Buck’s hand, Maddie led him out the open back door. Eddie watched them go, stamping down on the urge to follow. It wasn’t his business.

Eddie looked at Hen, who raised her eyebrows. The mystery that was Buck kept unraveling without his permission. Ordinarily Buck had a knack of redirecting any conversation about himself, without even making it seem like he was dodging the question. He talked about anything and everything except himself.

So Eddie helped Chris load up his plate with whatever he wanted from the makeshift buffet and only glanced out at Buck and Maddie occasionally. Maddie still seemed upset but Buck’s face had gone sort of oddly blank.

What could have caused them to be apart for six years? Eddie didn’t see his sisters as often as he would like, but he saw them once a year at the very least. Kept in touch over the phone much more often.

It seemed Buck had a very complex relationship with his family, and Eddie just didn’t have enough information to speculate.

Chapter Text

Buck had been having a wonderful afternoon. He’d already known that Hen was awesome, so it only made sense that her wife would be too. The cookies he’d brought seemed to be appreciated as well.

Cookies were one of the few things he could make well even before Bobby had taken him under his wing teaching him to cook. An old roommate he’d lived with for a couple months had sworn by the recipe he’d found on some mommy blog and he’d shared it with Buck. It was saved to his phone for moments when he needed to make a good impression.

Surely Hen must have told Karen that Buck was a death mage, and yet Karen had welcomed him into their home without hesitation. Even introduced him to their son Denny. He seemed like a sweet kid. And even better, he and Christopher seemed to get on immediately as they disappeared to look at legos.

As everyone arrived, no one was wary of him, no one was eyeing him uncomfortably. He was just… welcome. Even Athena had smiled at him. So he was pretty much on cloud nine.

Then Maddie walked in and his mind went blank. He followed her out onto the back porch feeling like he was having an out of body experience. Part of him was thrilled to see Maddie, the same part of him that had been sending her postcards for years despite the lack of response. But it also made him feel like the ten year old that had stood on the porch step and watched the empty road long after the only person who had ever actually cared about him had driven away.

It made it hard to breathe.

“W-w-what are you doing here?” Buck hated it when his childhood stammer came out in force, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Maddie spread her hands. “I needed a fresh start. Somewhere far from- from him. Your last postcard said you were thinking of heading for LA so…”

Buck’s brows pulled together in confusion. “You came here for me?”

Maddie’s face twisted in a way Buck didn’t know how to read. There was a time when Buck felt like he could read every expression on her face without trying. “I know we haven’t seen each other in a long time but I… I wanted to change that.”

“You never answered any of my postcards.” Buck said without really meaning to. Glancing away, he caught the others eating and pretending they weren’t glancing through the window curiously at them.

“You moved around so often, I didn’t think you’d actually get them. And it just… it felt safer not to.” Maddie couldn’t look him in the eye, instead fiddling with a loose thread on the cuff of her sweater.

Safer for who, Buck wondered. He could have handled Doug, if Maddie had ever let him. Even when he was ten-

Blood on his hands.

Buck was ten years old with blood on his hands. Wishing Maddie was there and desperately glad she wasn’t. Because despite it all, Maddie had loved him. Maddie had always told him to ignore it when people called him a monster.

He didn’t want her there to see that they were right all along.

It was the first time he’d been glad she left.

Abruptly, Buck couldn’t do this. Couldn’t talk to his sister about things she didn’t understand and he couldn’t explain while his coworkers watched on with poorly disguised concern.

“We should d-do this another day.” Buck said, holding his composure by a thread.

The corners of Maddie’s mouth turned down, clearly upset. “Evan, I know when you left to live with Alexandra I should have-”

Buck shook his head sharply. “I can’t do this right now.”

Maddie pressed her lips together like she was biting back more words. “Okay.”

“We can m-meet up- and talk. I just-” He glanced through the window again and this time Maddie followed his gaze.

“Yeah. Okay. We’ve got time.” She said it like she wasn’t sure that was true but she wanted it to be.

“Yeah.” Because he did, desperately, want to talk to Maddie. Just not like this.

“Evan, I’m sorry. I love you.” She sounded plaintive, and so very much like the teenager that had raised him despite how much it cost her.

“I love you too.” Buck managed. Even under everything else, he knew that much was true.

He went back inside.

Ignoring the stares, Buck headed straight for the bathroom Hen had pointed out when he first arrived. He ran the tap and splashed cold water in his face.

It wasn’t enough. He was spinning out, the pieces of himself he’d tried to sew together when he first came to LA were unraveling. Gripping the cold porcelain of the sink, Buck found his magic curling around his forearms. Tightening by degrees, sending prickles of pain sparking through his skin. Grounding him. In the space of ten deep breaths, he began to find a semblance of calm. He let his magic dissipate back into the steady background thrum it always was.

There was a knock on the door. Buck took two more deep breaths before he managed to reach over and unlock it. Bobby stood in the hall, looking worried.

“Are you alright?” He asked the moment he got a good look at Buck’s face.

Belatedly, he realized his face was still wet. “Yeah.” He grabbed a hand towel and quickly dried it, trying to seem more collected than he was. “M’okay.”

Bobby glanced down the corridor as though checking no one else was coming. “If she’s going to be an issue, we can ask her to leave.” He said seriously.

“What? No- god no. It’s not- it’s not like that.” Buck shook his head, searching for an explanation that would make sense to Bobby that wouldn’t force him to unpack… everything. “Me and Maddie, it's… complicated. For so many reasons. But it’s not Maddie’s fault.” There were a lot of things they both could have done differently. A lot of things that were just out of their control.

“Okay.” Bobby said, expression still tight with concern. “If you’re sure. Do you need anything?”

For a moment, Buck could only stare at him. It seemed surreal that this concern was aimed at him. That Bobby was worried enough about Buck’s emotional wellbeing that he would make someone leave just because they were making him uncomfortable. “No. I don’t think so. I’ll be alright. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Take your time.” Bobby assured him. “We saved you a plate when you’re ready.”

Then he shut the door softly.

Buck stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were a little red, but he looked better than he felt. He just hated that the first time he’d been invited to a 118 gathering had fallen apart like this. It would have been nice if he’d had a little more time before they saw all the cracked seams where Buck tried to hide the parts of himself he didn’t want to think about.

When he was confident he could talk to people without falling apart, Buck left the bathroom.

Hen was the first person he saw. “Hen, I’m so sorry-” Buck began.

“Please, don’t apologize. As long as you’re alright, everything’s fine.” Hen said soothingly. “Family can be complicated, we all know that.”

That was certainly one way to describe Buck’s family. “Still, sorry for bringing the drama into your house.”

“It’s alright. Now why don’t you take a minute and get something to eat.”

Buck glanced around, realizing he didn’t see Maddie or Chim anywhere. “Is Maddie…?”

Hen smiled, but there was a hint of worry in her eyes. “Chim took her home. Seemed like she was shaken up too. Is that… do you think it will be a problem that they’re friends?”

Buck could practically see the protective streak coming out. “No I don’t think so. It’s all just…” For lack of something better to say, Buck fell back on what he’d said to Bobby. “Complicated. If anything I’m glad she has a friend here.”

Hen just nodded. After giving her another smile Buck moved through to the living room. He grabbed the covered plate that had been left aside for him as he passed. The kids were set up in front of the tv playing a video game, Eddie was sat on the sofa watching. Taking a seat beside Eddie, Buck ate, taking his time to enjoy the wonderful food Hen and Karen had prepared for them.

For a while they just sat and watched the game, some cooperative fighting game where the boys kept casting spells and accidentally killing one another. It was generating a lot of yelling but so far it seemed all in good fun so no one had intervened.

“You good?” Eddie asked. It was easy for them to go unheard by the rest of the room under the chaos of the boys.

“Yeah.” Buck said because he was about as good as he was going to get just then.

Though Buck could feel Eddie’s eyes on him, Eddie didn’t say anything further. Once he’d finished his food Buck got drawn into the fighting game. Taking up the fourth character slot, Buck wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but he managed to hold up his side of the team.

A little later the gathering was beginning to wind down. It seemed faster than it would have ended if there hadn’t been the strange sibling reunion in the middle of it. Buck couldn’t help feeling guilty. So he made sure to help clean up and put the furniture back to rights.

When he was getting ready to go, Eddie came to stand beside him. He glanced over his shoulder at where Chris was already beginning to droop. “Pretty sure he’s gonna be out like a light when we get back. You want to come back to mine for a beer?”

Buck thought about it. He really didn’t want to go back to his place. If he went to a bar or something he would end up spiraling and doing something stupid or reckless. Or both. Much as he wasn’t sure about dumping his childhood trauma on Eddie… he wanted to say yes.

“You sure?” Buck couldn’t help but double check.

With complete confidence, Eddie said, “Yeah Buck. Come over.”

“Okay.” Buck said softly.

They said their goodbyes, thanked Hen and Karen for hosting and headed out. Buck followed Eddie back to his house.

Sure enough Chris was half asleep when they got to the house. Buck went to the fridge and got them each a beer while Eddie got Chris to bed.

When Eddie came out they sat on either side of the sofa and sipped at their beers in companionable silence. For the first time since he saw Maddie, Buck began to feel comfortable in his skin again.

“You can ask.” Buck said as he peeled the label off his beer bottle. “I know you want to.”

Eddie spread his hands. “All I need to know is whether I need to be escorting her off the property if Maddie shows up at the station.”

Amazed at another person offering to protect him, Buck shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Okay.” Eddie said easily. “You seemed pretty rattled though.”

“It’s just… been such a long time.”

“You said eight years?” Eddie’s calm curiosity somehow made it easier to open his mouth.

“That was the last time we saw each other in person. When I-” Buck laughed to himself at how ridiculous he’d been at eighteen. “I essentially asked her to run away with me, find something better. Buckley siblings, a united front. But she… couldn’t.”

“You wanted to run away?”

“It’s- god it’s such a long story.” Buck shook his head slightly. “Maddie and I have a big age gap. She left home when she was nineteen, I’d just turned ten. She met this guy- Doug. He was a piece of work but… I don’t know. She liked him at the time.”

Buck glanced at Eddie but he was just waiting patiently for Buck to continue.

“For a while I wanted to hate her.” He admitted ruefully. “Things got so much worse after she left. But then I realized that wasn’t fair to her. She shouldn’t have to stick around and parent her little brother just ‘coz our parents sure as hell weren’t going to.”

“Worse?” Eddie asked carefully.

“My parents didn’t like me.” Buck said with a deep exhaustion. Understatement of the century but Buck wasn’t sure how to explain to Eddie that his parents had been convinced he was the reason for his brother’s death. “Maddie was usually the only one paying attention to me at home. She pretty much raised me, even though she was a kid herself. After she was gone I felt like a ghost. But- it didn’t really matter. I left home a few months later anyway.”

Eddie frowned. “You- left home at ten years old?”

Buck swallowed against the lump in his throat, the memory of blood on his hands. “Yeah. Ended up living with my Mentor, Alexandra.”

Tipping his head, Eddie watched him closely. “You mentioned your Mentor before. Is that like- a mage thing?”

“Kind of.” Buck was more equipped to explain this than his own childhood. “There are so few death mages we have to be assigned a Mentor when we’re born. If death mages grow into their power without guidance, it… doesn’t always go well. For them and the people around them. Every death mage is expected to take on a child to teach at some point- though technically we can refuse it.”

Nodding slowly, Eddie sipped his beer. “So this Mentor raised you after you left home?”

“Yeah.” That wasn’t exactly the right description, but Alexandra had done what she could. Buck had never been an easy kid.

“And that’s why you didn’t see much of Maddie.”

“We tried to stay in contact. Calls occasionally. It was difficult, Maddie was always busy and I moved around a lot. When I turned eighteen I tried to get Maddie to come away with me but she wouldn’t. I never really knew why. So I sent her postcards every few months. She never replied but… I just kept sending them.”

“That’s…” Eddie blew out a breath, shaking his head. “That is complicated. Do you want to talk to her?”

“I think so.” Buck was only a little hesitant. “I’d love to have my sister back. I just hope that we can connect as siblings after all this time.”

“You said she raised you. I don’t think that kind of love just goes away, no matter how long it’s been.” Eddie mused thoughtfully, his gaze on the corridor that led to Chris’ bedroom.

“I hope so.”

Then Eddie’s phone buzzed. Picking it up, Eddie scowled at it, and put it back down.

“That seems like a notification you didn’t want to get.” Buck said mildly, trying to offer the same opportunity to talk Eddie had given him.

“It’s nothing.” Then Eddie seemed to reconsider. “It’s- my wife.”

Buck’s eyebrows rose. Eddie hadn’t said anything about a wife- beyond the fact Chris’ mother wasn’t in the picture. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Eddie shoved a hand through his hair tiredly. “It’s… also a very long story. And it’s late.”

Buck glanced at the time and realized with surprise that Eddie was right. “Oh I should go.”

“You can take the couch if you want.”

Buck stared at him in open surprise. “What?”

Shrugging, Eddie gestured at the couch. “It’s not the most comfortable thing but it’ll do. If you want.”

Without permission from his brain, his mouth opened. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Together they made quick work of setting up the couch for Buck to sleep on. Eddie offered some of his clothes but Buck hated the idea of stretching anything of Eddie’s. Luckily he always kept some clothes in his jeep.

After Eddie went to bed, Buck lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling, feeling all kinds of shell shocked. When he first moved to the 118, never in a million years could he have guessed things would turn out like this.

Chapter Text

When Eddie woke to the sound of movement in his kitchen, his first thought was that Chris must have gotten up early. Stretching, Eddie sat up and checked the time. Nine in the morning, earlier than Chris was generally up on a Sunday unless Eddie got him up.

In his notifications waited another message from Shannon.

Shannon: Please don’t ignore me I just want…

The preview made his chest tight. He couldn’t ignore her forever, as tempting as that was. That wasn’t fair to either of them.

Before he could gather the courage to open the chat, he heard voices from the kitchen. It was only then he remembered offering Buck the couch the previous night. Slowly, Eddie got up and dressed as he listened to the voices get a little louder. Then there was a lot of shushing, before a burst of quiet giggles.

There was something about hearing his son so clearly happy interacting with Buck that soothed an ache in Eddie’s chest he hadn’t even realized was there. Chris was a good and generally happy kid but Eddie always worried about him. For a while after Shannon had left Chris had gotten very quiet and clingy. Always asking where his mom was, when she was coming back. Constantly wanting to be with Eddie to the point that it had been physically painful to leave him. But Eddie had no choice but to work constantly to keep them afloat.

Sure, Eddie’s parents had helped out but something in Eddie screamed at leaving Chris with them. They always said they meant well but their brand of care had always made Eddie want to claw his skin off. Not to mention all the comments about how Christopher’s cerebral palsy might affect him when he eventually had his first shift into a wolf.

Things had been better since they’d moved to LA, despite the stress of juggling being a functionally single parent with the shift work of being a firefighter. And Chris’ happiness felt like a sign that maybe Eddie wasn’t irreparably fucking up his kid. He was making mistakes - would continue to make mistakes. Because Edmundo Diaz was a fucking mess and always would be. But if Chris could be happy without clinging to Eddie’s side, then maybe, just maybe, it would be alright.

Leaving his bedroom, Eddie glanced down the corridor at the sofa. It had already been put back to normal, the blankets Buck had used were folded neatly on the arm.

In the kitchen Buck was kneeling down and holding a large bowl as Chris determinedly mixed whatever was in it. Neither of them noticed Eddie as he leaned against the doorway and watched them.

“So now we have to let it rest for a few minutes.” Buck was explaining as he stood and put the bowl on the counter.

“How come?” Chris always wanted to know the ins and outs of how everything worked, ever curious. Eddie loved that about him, though as he got older and his questions got more involved Eddie didn’t always have all the answers.

“So the flour can absorb the liquid. Makes them fluffier- otherwise they come out all flat.” Buck explained with casual patience. “While we wait, why don’t you tell me your favorite topping for pancakes?”

“Uhm.” As Chris thought about it he even tapped his finger to his chin. “Syrup. And chocolate chips. And whipped cream. And sprinkles. And chocolate sauce!”

“Oh is that all?” Buck laughed. “Well, I don’t think I have all of those but I can certainly manage chocolate chips and syrup.”

“Hmm. Guess that’ll have to do.” Chris said with all the seriousness of a general approving battle plans.

“What about your dad? Do you know what he likes on his pancakes?”

“I’m pretty partial to pancakes with syrup.” Eddie said.

Buck jumped, turning to look at him with wide eyes. “Oh you’re up! I uh- figured I’d make you guys pancakes.” He seemed almost nervous.

“I’m helping!” Chris grinned.

“So I see.” Ruffling Chris’ hair, Eddie gave Buck a smile and tried to silently convey that he wasn’t annoyed by Buck taking over his kitchen. “If someone else is making them I’ll eat pancakes pretty much however they come. As long as there’s no banana.”

Relaxing a little, Buck shot him a look. “Banana pancakes are great!”

Chris laughed. “Dad hates bananas. Says they’re slimy and weird.”

“They are slimy and weird.” As he defended his opinion, Eddie went to start on making coffee. “I hate the texture.”

“They aren’t weird. Back me up Chris, you like bananas right?” Buck turned to Chris as though his answer was vitally important.

With a shrug, Chris just said, “They are kinda weird.”

“Ugh.” Buck gave a dramatic sigh. “No taste in this house. More for me I guess.”

“What do you like on pancakes Buck? Is your favorite bananas?” Chris asked.

“Well, I do like bananas on pancakes. Especially when they’re caramelized. But when Maddie used to make them for me she always put Nutella on them. So I guess that’s my favorite.” Buck had an odd, wistful kind of smile as he remembered that.

“Who’s Maddie?”

When Buck glanced at Chris his smile went back to normal. “She’s my big sister.”

“Oh cool! Did she make you lots of pancakes?” Chris seemed excited to learn more about Buck.

“Sometimes. Mostly for special occasions.”

As they spoke, Eddie looked at the ingredients laid out on the counter and frowned. “I didn’t realize we had the ingredients for pancakes.”

Buck shrugged.

Then Eddie caught sight of the blueberries on the counter. “I definitely didn’t have those.”

Buck shrugged again, turning his attention to the pan as he began to heat it up ready to cook. “Yeah, I went shopping.”

There was a little part of Eddie that wondered if he actually should feel like Buck was overstepping. But Chris was happy, they were both getting pancakes for breakfast, and Eddie just couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Thanks.” Eddie said though that felt inadequate. He couldn’t remember the last time someone that wasn’t blood related had just done something for him- well he could actually. Buck had driven him to go get Chris. At a loss for anything else to say, Eddie slid a mug of coffee just the way Buck liked it - cream and two sugars - across the counter.

“Oh, thanks.” Buck seemed a little caught off guard by the consideration but before Eddie could do anything about that, he turned to Chris. “So, Chris, you get the honour of the first pancake. Do you want blueberries, chocolate chips, both or plain?”

Predictably, Chris cried out, “Chocolate chips!”

“Alright!” Buck agreed enthusiastically. “Chocolate chips for Chris. And for Eddie?”

“Blueberries.” Eddie said softly as he got out plates and cutlery for three.

Buck evidently knew what he was doing because the pancakes came out perfect the first time, no issues. Despite the lack of whipped cream and sprinkles, Chris tucked into his chocolate chip pancakes with syrup like he hadn’t eaten in days. Oddly it reminded him of the way Buck always ate like he was utterly ravenous and it was the best thing he’s ever tasted.

At the second round of pancakes Chris was negotiated into having blueberry pancakes on the understanding that he could put his chocolate chips on top.

“What are you going to have?” Eddie asked as Buck started the second round of pancakes for Eddie.

“Hmm? Oh right.” Buck looked down at the pan as though only just remembering he should make pancakes for himself too. “I’ll have a combo.”

When Chris was done eating, Eddie let him go clean the syrup off his hands and face and get dressed for the day. Buck was still making his pancakes so Eddie took out his phone and frowned at it.

“Your wife?” Buck asked, voice pitched low so Chris wouldn’t overhear.

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed.

It felt different in the daylight, more real and harder to talk about. The soft darkness and taste of beer the previous night had made it easier to admit. But Eddie was going to go insane if he didn’t talk to someone about it.

“We’re- I guess we’re separated. Kind of.”

Buck tipped his head as he brought his plate to the table. “Kind of?”

Undoubtedly he’d noted the fact there was no evidence of anyone else living in the house. There were a few photos of Shannon scattered around, mostly for Chris’ sake, but they weren’t obvious. People tended to assume Eddie was a widower when he said he was raising Chris alone and Eddie rarely had the energy to correct them.

But somehow, this time, it all came spilling out.

“Me and Shannon were nineteen when Chris was born. I was already in the army. I hated to leave them but also-” Eddie glanced at the doorway, making sure Chris wasn’t nearby. “A little part of me was almost relieved. I was terrified.”

“Nineteen is young to have a kid. At nineteen I was- god, nevermind.” Buck shook his head. “Go on.”

“So Shannon was stuck in Texas with my parents. They never- they never really liked her. Shannon’s human. My parents always wanted me to marry another werewolf. So they, y’know, they tolerated her but.” Eddie sighed, leaning back in his chair. “And as Chris got older and wasn’t hitting milestones so he got diagnosed with CP. Meaning doctors visits and endless tests and physiotherapy. And then- when my tour ended I just- re-enlisted.”

“Did you talk to Shannon about it?”

“No.” Eddie admitted reluctantly.

“Eddie-” Buck began.

Rubbing his hands over his face, Eddie groaned. “I know! I know. It wasn’t fair to her. But we needed the money for the medical bills and it just… seemed like the right thing at the time.”

Buck just nodded and ate his pancakes, letting Eddie continue.

“But then I got discharged. I went home and I just… I didn’t know how to function. I had no clue how to be a husband or a father. I knew I was failing them both but I had no idea how to fix it. Me and Shannon were just arguing all the time, about everything. Her mother was dying- cancer- and she wanted to be there for her. Then one day I woke up and Chris was next to me, and there was just a note on the bedside table. All it said was ‘I need time too’. I haven’t heard from her since.”

“So- she just left?” Buck asked with a frown. “Just like that- no contact? Not even with Chris?”

Eddie sighed. “I left first. And I drove her away. It was all my fault.”

Buck bit his lip, fork drawing random patterns in the leftover syrup on his plate. “I mean- it seems like you both made mistakes. But I think there are options between staying with you and leaving with no contact at all.”

Eddie hadn’t really thought about that. “So- so what do you think I should do?”

Buck laughed, the sound self deprecating and stiff. “I’m not the person you want relationship advice from Eddie. The longest relationship I’ve ever had was a few months and she-” His mouth twisted and he shook his head. “I can’t pretend to know what you should do. But speaking as someone who’s pretty good at being left behind, I think you need closure on this. Both you and Chris do. It’s always worse when it’s just left hanging.”

Eddie grimaced, thinking of the picture Buck had painted of his childhood. He could probably understand the position Chris was in better than Eddie could. “I’m just- however she wants to deal with me- that’s fine. I deserve whatever she wants to throw at me. But if I let her back into Chris’ life, I don’t know if I can trust that she won’t just disappear again.”

For a long moment, Buck was silent, face contemplative. “There are times when you both weren’t there for Chris when he needed you. But- you’ve had a chance to make up for it… maybe she should get one too?”

“Yeah that’s- you’re right.”

“Hey, I’m not saying let her see him tomorrow. But just talk to her?” Buck sat forward and offered his hand out. “Here, let’s make a deal. I’ll talk to Maddie, you’ll talk to Shannon. And we can debrief about how it went after.”

Despite the exhaustion in his bones, Eddie smiled. They were in different situations, but they both had to have difficult conversations. He put his hand into Buck’s and shook it firmly. “Deal.”

Chapter Text

Eddie had spent most of their shift so far trying not to think about Shannon. He and Buck had agreed to uphold their deal the day after their shift ended. Eddie by calling Shannon and Buck by going to lunch with Maddie.

Despite the talk he’d had with Buck, he still wasn’t sure what he was going to say to her. So Eddie was actually grateful for the distraction of a difficult job.

The call was a bad one from the beginning. There was a collapse in an office building that had seemingly been built too quickly on too small a budget. An entire section of the flooring had given way, trapping several people in a corner conference room. The 133 was already on scene when they arrived.

As they stepped out of the engine, Buck frowned up at the building.

“How many dead?” Bobby asked him quietly so the bystanders wouldn’t overhear.

“One.” Buck matched his volume. “But there’s something… weird.”

Eddie stood at Buck’s shoulder. “Weird how?”

But Buck could only shake his head. “Not sure. I’ll have to get closer. There’s something different from the collapse after the earthquake.”

“Well the 133 are already inside. Captain Mehta says they’re dealing with patients from the main office and struggling to find a way through to the conference room without causing more damage. So we’re going to transport them out the window.” Bobby clapped his hands. “Let’s get moving. Buck, Eddie, you’re rappelling down from the roof.”

So with Carter and Jackson working the winches on the roof, Buck and Eddie headed down. Eddie was comfortable with rope rescues, but the way Buck bounced down the side of the building was something else.

The window was already compromised from the collapse, so they gestured the office workers away from it and made quick work of breaking it. Eddie went in first, doing a quick visual triage to assess which patients were in most danger. There were nine of them in total. Buck was hot on his heels as every worker began talking at them all at once.

“Alright!” Buck said, holding his hands up to quiet them. “We’re going to work on getting you guys out of here as quick as we can. But you have to be patient and work with us.”

A man had been pinned by a metal bar but the workers had already managed to free him. His leg was broken, so he was going to need to be lowered on a backboard. As Eddie knelt beside him he radioed to tell his team.

Moving to kneel beside Eddie, Buck kept his voice low. “This was corroded by magic.”

“What?” Eddie asked, half distracted by his patient.

“Look.”

Eddie looked where Buck was pointing and realized there was a strange rainbow sheen on the edge of it, like an oil slick. “What does that mean?”

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, Buck glanced at the window. “I don’t know- but there’s way more magic in this building than there should be. I can stabilize it but if it starts coming down I won’t be able to hold it the way I did last time.”

“Let’s get this show on the road then.” Eddie said determinedly.

While they waited for the backboard they worked on getting the walking wounded harnessed up and lowered down one by one. With two harnesses alternating, they were able to make good time. Six of them made it down to the sidewalk without issue.

When the backboard arrived Eddie got to work strapping his patient into it. As he did, the building groaned ominously, the floor shifting under the weight of the rubble that had crashed into it. They all stumbled, fighting to keep balance against the sudden movement.

Buck was perfectly still though. Eddie could feel the prickling of Buck’s magic on his skin though this time Buck had managed to hide it. No black eyes or curling tendrils of shadow to give the game away. It was probably for the best, so they wouldn’t scare their patients.

“Alright.” Buck said when it seemed to stop moving. He beckoned a woman with a sprained ankle forwards. “You next.”

“No!” A large man with a cut on his forehead lunged forward, throwing the woman out of his way. With strength borne of desperation, he grabbed Buck and pulled hard. “You’re not leaving me here!”

Caught off guard and distracted by his own magic, Buck toppled over and crashed into a pile of rubble with a painful sounding thud.

“Hey!” Eddie yelled sharply, on his feet in an instant to wrench him away from Buck. “Don’t touch him.” He growled.

Startled, the man backed off with wide eyes. Eddie wrestled with animal anger that demanded he keep going after him and make sure he couldn’t present a threat. Instead he turned to Buck. Leaning down he offered Buck a hand up.

“You good?” He asked lowly.

“Yeah.” Buck grunted as he stood, posture a little hunched. “Let’s just get these people out of here.”

Eddie frowned. “Are you-”

The building groaned again before he could finish his question, debris showering dust from the ceiling.

“Let’s move.” Buck clapped him on the shoulder and then he was harnessing the woman he’d tried to beckon earlier.

With one last look at Buck, Eddie turned back to the belligerent man. Much as there was a part of him that would love to leave the guy to the mercy of the building, he had a job to do. But he could at least make sure he didn’t get anywhere near Buck again.

Finally, Buck and Eddie attached the backboard securely to the ropes and went down with him. Even as they lowered down there was a horrendous crashing sound as the floor Buck had been stabilizing continued collapsing.

On the ground, they were separated in the controlled chaos of patients and firefighters and paramedics. But after a few minutes the 118 were told to regroup.

Eddie found Buck frowning up at the building, as though if he just looked long enough he could work out what was going on inside.

“Buck?” Eddie asked as Bobby, Hen and Chim joined them.

“Hmm?” Buck turned to look at him.

“What’s that?” Bobby asked, pointing to a dark patch on Buck’s uniform shirt.

“What’s what?” As Buck turned fully to face them, it became evident.

“Buck!” Hen cried in horror as they all got a good look at the thick shard of glass sticking out of Buck’s abdomen, and the blood that was steadily staining his uniform darker.

“Oh damn.” Buck said as though he’d spillled sauce on his shirt, not been impaled by a chunk of glass.

He grabbed it.

“Don’t-” Eddie tried, but he was too late.

Bobby and Hen protested too, but as though deaf to them, Buck pulled the shard out of him in one jerky movement and cast it aside. Then he gritted his teeth and dug his fingers into the wound. Despite the chaos around them, the awful slick sound of blood and meat seemed loud.

Instinctively Eddie stepped forward to staunch the bleeding, to get Buck to stop moving, stop making it worse, something. Anything to stop this happening. But Buck stepped out of his reach and put his other hand over the wound as it spilled dark blood through his fingers.

“Just give me a sec.” Buck was entirely calm, as though this was nothing unusual. His voice was barely tight. A moment later he dragged a second, smaller piece of glass out. It must have broken off inside him.

Their efforts to intervene were only halted when Buck’s magic crept across his skin. Buck hissed, but by now the rest of them could do nothing but stand and watch with abject horror.

“What the fuck…” Chim whispered, sounding more pained than Buck did.

Buck glanced up at them, his gaze flickering from face to face as realization crossed his. “Oh. Sorry.” And then he turned around. As though the issue here was that he was doing it in front of them, not that he’d casually dug his fingers into his own stomach and wrenched a shard of glass out and was now dripping blood onto the sidewalk. Though there was less blood than Eddie would have expected from a wound like that. Eddie had seen enough of them in his career to know.

Finding himself staring at the smaller bloody shard of glass that had come out of Buck, Eddie distantly realized he must have fallen on it when that asshole knocked him over. More reason Eddie wished he could have left the idiot where he was.

After a few moments Buck turned back to them, the rip in his uniform hanging open to display a thick black line across his skin where there had been a gaping wound moments ago. There was still blood smeared over the skin, but he wasn’t actively bleeding.

“Buck, what?” Bobby asked, the first of them to recover.

“Sorry, I know it’s unsettling to watch.” Buck apologized sheepishly. “I won’t do it in front of you guys next time.”

“Next time?” Eddie echoed hollowly.

Then Bobby blinked as though waking from a trance. “We need to get you to a hospital.”

Buck waved him off casually. “Nah I’m fine. I just need a new uniform shirt.”

“You are absolutely not fine.” Hen insisted. “I don’t know what magic you’ve done but there could be any kind of internal bleeding, or infection, or-”

Buck cocked his head to the side in the way he did when he was listening to his magic. “Yeah it got pretty deep. It’s fine though. I can destroy any bacteria so no infection either.”

“That’s not fine.” Bobby argued, sounding like he couldn’t believe he had to say this.

“Seriously, look.” Buck lifted his shirt to wipe the blood away as best he could and show off the smooth black line cutting across the edge of his abs. The skin around it was a little puffy, but otherwise it did look fine.

Eddie only just managed to keep himself from reaching out and brushing his fingers over the line to check for himself. Hen had no such qualms, checking it with medical efficiency.

“I’ve never seen a mage do anything like that.” Chim said, sounding like he wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or incredibly concerned.

“That’s because I’m a death mage.” Buck said with a grin that had an edge to it that Eddie couldn’t quite read. “We’re a different breed.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t heal?” Eddie asked, suddenly remembering their conversation in the bunk room.

Buck’s expression went complicated. “I can’t heal other people. This is different. It’s…” He trailed off, at a loss to explain. Or maybe just reluctant. He’d said there were some things about death mages he wasn’t supposed to reveal for whatever reason. “Listen, I really am fine. I just need to clean up.” He held up his bloody hands that were still glistening deep crimson.

“Okay.” Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, well, we’re done here. Let’s just get back to the station.”

Eddie got a bottle of water and helped Buck rinse the blood from his hands, feeling a little sick as he watched it wash away. It was ridiculous, he’d seen much worse injuries, treated people who had died under his hands. But there was something about the casual way that Buck had dealt with the injury that just felt wrong. Watching him dig his fingers between his own muscles with brutal efficiency felt like something Eddie would see in a nightmare.

As they climbed back into the engine, Eddie watched Buck like a hawk. Despite what Buck had insisted about being completely fine, Eddie could see him slightly favoring his injured side. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it. Whether the indication that it was bothering him a little was cause for relief or concern was unclear.

When they got back to the station Buck went straight to the showers to clean up the rest of the blood, leaving Bobby, Hen, Chim and Eddie to gather in the loft. They all looked at one another in disbelief.

“He can’t really be fine, right?” Chim asked. “That was a huge chunk of glass. And he just…”

Hen shook her head slowly. “I mean… I guess it’s possible. We know so little about death mages. And- rumors about them have always said they’re… hard to kill.”

They all winced at the implications of that.

Bobby rubbed his face, looking exhausted and about ten years older than usual. “I think we need to keep an eye on him. But for now let’s just see what details he’s willing to give us.” Then he sighed. “I’m going to get started on dinner.”

Taking a seat across the counter from the kitchen, Eddie found himself watching the stairs to wait for Buck.

Given how calm he’d been, this kind of thing had to have happened before. Even if he could heal himself- or do whatever death mage version of healing- there was no way he’d have reacted like that if he wasn’t used to it. The more Eddie learned about Buck’s past, the more concerned he became.

Chapter Text

Face tilted up, eyes closed, Buck let the shower run directly over his face. He could hold his breath for more than half an hour if he really put his mind to it. Most of the time it was something he was proud of, a trick that came in handy every now and then. But just then all it did was remind him that he wasn’t really human. Reminded him exactly why he tried to hide his magic.

He just should have known better. People liked him okay when he was useful to them. When they didn’t have to be confronted with the darkness behind the curtain of that usefulness. It was easy for them to say they were alright with his magic when it was saving their lives or destroying a curse.

Their easy acceptance had lulled him into a false sense of security. He’d gotten too comfortable and forgotten that watching him dig glass out from between his own muscles would be too much for just about anyone. The fact they were all first responders was probably the only reason none of them had thrown up or fainted or something.

Buck brushed a hand over the familiar feeling of his magic holding his organs together. Letting the blood flow where it needed to and beginning the healing process.

It was just so commonplace to Buck. No matter how much pain he was in, his magic could make him functional. He’d once walked ten miles in Virginia with a broken leg and fractured ribs after he’d fallen on a hike. The whole thing had been his own fault really. It was a difficult trail that wasn’t meant to be hiked alone but Buck had gone anyway. Been cocky with it, not paying proper attention. He’d learned his lesson that day.

A lot of the injuries he’d had over the years had been his own fault. Doing something stupid or reckless even though he would end up hurt. As much as he could function unless he was mortally wounded, it still hurt like hell. It always did. He’d built up a high pain tolerance through his teen years. As a kid he’d be laid up in bed for days after an injury even as it healed. These days it didn’t take him more than an hour to get back on his feet unless it was truly serious.

But Buck couldn’t wallow in the shower forever. More than anything he needed to think of a way to explain to the team that yes, he was perfectly fine. Something that would wrap it up without giving anything away he wasn’t supposed to.

Much as he hated the secrecy, death mages kept to themselves with good reason. For the most part people were either scared of them, or eager to exploit their magic. Buck had met more than his fair share of people that fell on both sides of that divide. Plenty of people didn’t care what he was, of course, but it was always hard to tell how people would react before they actually knew.

But eventually Buck just couldn’t procrastinate any longer. If he stayed in the shower they would send someone to check he hadn’t passed out in the shower or something.

The blood had come out of his uniform alright but the big rip across the stomach made it a write off. In his year and a bit career as a firefighter he’d been less than kind to his uniforms. They had a tendency to get ripped or stained or whatever else so he kept two spares in his locker.

As he got dressed, Buck tried to school his expression into something calm and reassuring. He just had to prove to them that everything was perfectly fine.

Making it to the top of the stairs, Buck saw Eddie first. Leaning back against the counter, Eddie raised an eyebrow in silent question. ‘You okay?’

Nodding, Buck smiled and hoped it looked convincing. Physically he really was fine besides the pain.

Bobby was already making something in the kitchen so Buck took a seat beside Eddie.

“Buck!” Bobby said with forced cheer. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine Cap, really.” Somehow Buck managed to sound confident.

“Here let me check you over.” Hen said, already coming over to him with her med bag that she’d brought up to the loft, already prepared.

“Oh I mean- you don’t have to.”

Hen gave him a glare. “Buck, we just watched you pull a shard of glass the size of my hand out of your stomach. And then a second, smaller shard. I’m checking you over.” Hen was gentle but firm, not allowing him any leeway to brush her off.

Still Buck tried. “I’ve had much worse than that.”

Their expressions dropped back into horror. Okay so maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

So he pulled up his shirt and let Hen look. “Okay uh- like Eddie said earlier I can’t just heal instantly. I heal fast but not that fast. But my magic acts like… a perfect bandage. Holds everything together until it’s sorted, even lets blood get where it needs to go.”

The explanation didn’t seem to have helped much.

“I’m giving you some time off.” Was the first thing Bobby managed to say.

Buck shook his head, because that was exactly what he hadn’t wanted. “There’s really no need for that.”

“You’ve just told me you have- essentially- a bandaged gut wound. And you want to work the rest of the shift?”

That sounded about right. “Yeah.”

“You can’t do that.” Bobby said seriously. “You have to know you can’t do that.”

“But-”

“What did you do if you were hurt with the 124?” Eddie interrupted, watching Buck with intensity.

Buck shrugged. “I just kept going. I was fine to work. I never got hurt badly enough to be incapacitated. And my magic means I can’t make it worse or anything” He didn’t understand why they couldn’t see that he was different from other people. The same rules didn’t apply to him that applied to everyone else.

Looking like he’d just watched a puppy get kicked into a sewer, Chim said, “You don’t have to be completely incapacitated to take a step back. Or hell, just take a day off.”

Bobby looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel. “Magic bandage or not. If you’re injured I expect you to take the appropriate time to heal. I don’t care how they did things at your last station.”

How had things gotten so entirely out of hand? “I just- I don’t need time to heal like other people do.” He tried to explain without sounding like he was arguing.

“But you do need some time.” Eddie said firmly. “Maybe… you could be man behind?” The question was posed to Buck, but he was looking at Bobby for the answer.

Buck felt a twinge of guilt for causing them so much stress.

Bobby sighed. “If Hen agrees you’re alright, then I’ll let you stay. Light duty only.”

Buck really was an idiot. If he’d just pulled the glass out before they regrouped, he could have passed it off as just a scratch. But he hadn’t even noticed it until Bobby pointed it out. Now they were all worried and he was benched.

Hen pressed her lips together. “Well, as far as I can tell, he seems fine. Temperature’s a little high but Buck seems to run hot anyway. I think light duty will be alright.”

Nodding decisively, Bobby looked at Buck. “And from now on, if you get injured on the job I want you to get checked by one of us.” He gestured between the four of them. “I don’t care who, but someone else has to agree that you’re fit for duty. You don’t seem to have the same standard of ‘able to work’ as the rest of us do.”

Swallowing any further arguments, Buck just nodded. It seemed he was getting off lightly, they’d been prepared to send him home entirely. But part of what made him such a good firefighter was his ability to keep going when anyone else would have collapsed. Now they wanted him to stop doing that?

“And Buck? If I find out you’ve lied about an injury to keep working, you’ll be suspended.” Bobby was more serious than Buck had ever seen him.

Buck had never wished more fervently that his magic extended to time travel so he could start the day all over again and get things right this time around. “Yes Cap.” He said miserably.

-

A few hours later, Buck was sat doing paperwork while everyone else was out on a call. If nothing else it gave him time to think. There was something supremely weird about the way the building supports had been corroded by magic. Buck hadn’t seen anything like that before.

It meant… something. Something significant. Only, Buck was no detective. And although he knew a lot about magic, he wasn’t exactly an expert. He was going to have to talk to someone about it. If things got really dire, he would contact Alexandra.

Before that though, he had some contacts in LA that he could try. Acquaintances really, but any mage that was willing to ignore Buck being a death mage was someone he made a note of.

Buck looked up as the engine pulled in to the station. It seemed it hadn’t been a difficult call, as they were all chatting and laughing as they disembarked.

Eddie and Hen were halfway through a conversation as they came to join Buck.

“Do you have a mage you take Denny to for his check ups? I’ve been looking for one for Chris but they’re all so expensive around here.” Eddie was asking.

Hen groaned. “We did, but she moved away to Arizona a couple months ago. Haven’t managed to find one since, it’s such a headache. I think there are a few charities around that run them for free but they’re always completely slammed.”

Buck sat up. This was something he could do- prove that he was useful and capable. “I can do it.” He offered quickly.

They both turned to him in surprise. “You can?”

Nodding eagerly, Buck sat forward. “Sure. It’s not hard.”

Hen and Eddie exchanged a look and Buck realized he was going to have to make a more convincing case for himself if they were going to trust him with their children’s welfare.

“I’ve done it before. I used to run check ups for extra cash sometimes. And for a while I did it as a volunteer.”

Children under the age of 15 were especially vulnerable to silent curses that could latch on to them and fester over the course of years. So most schools required children to have yearly magic check ups to reduce the chances of curses spreading through the student population.

Eddie frowned. “Don’t you need credentials to do that?”

“Yeah, you just have to be registered with the mage council and do a couple tests, it’s not hard. I think most mages could pass it without too much trouble.” It was one of the many jobs Buck had done while traveling. He’d had to do his stress tests anyway so he figured why not throw a few more tests in the mix?

“If it’s so easy to do, why do they charge so much to do it?” Hen asked in outrage.

“Well, unfortunately it takes a decent chunk of magic. And even more if you actually find anything that needs removing. So they aren’t just ripping you guys off.” Buck explained. “But that’s no issue for me, especially not now.” As morbid as it was, Buck encountered death on the job often enough that he was never running out of magic. There was only so much he could store away for later so he sometimes found himself needing to close his magic off and not take any more in.

Both Hen and Eddie seemed to be thinking this over, then Eddie shrugged.

“Well I’d much rather have someone I know and trust doing it anyway. How much do you charge?”

Stupidly pleased at the confirmation that Eddie trusted him, Buck waved that away. “For you guys? Nothing.”

Hen frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, really it’s all good. You guys have already done so much for me.” There was no way he’d accept payment for this.

Eddie squinted at him. “Done so much?”

“Yeah, you’ve been so chill with the whole, y’know, death mage thing, welcomed me in anyway. I’m happy to help.”

Pursing her lips, Hen said, “Why don’t we call it a favor? We’ll get you back sometime soon.”

There was no need for any kind of repayment, but Buck had had a lot of arguments he had no way of winning that day. So he shrugged. “Sure.”

Chapter Text

Buck sat in his jeep, trying to remind himself that it was just Maddie. There was no need to freak out. As awkward and uncomfortable as it might be at first, they were still siblings. Maddie was still the person who had raised him until he was ten, the person who had done her best to shield him from reality.

So he forced himself to get out and walk towards the cafe.

Maddie was sat at a table near the window looking at her phone, ignoring the coffee waiting in front of her. Slowing, Buck took a moment to really look at her. He’d been so in shock at suddenly reuniting with her at the party that he hadn’t gotten a good look. The years had changed them both. When he thought back to that ten year old version of him that had stormed up to his bedroom and sobbed into his pillows after Maddie left, that kid felt like a stranger. Was that who Maddie still saw when she looked at him? The idea hurt somehow.

But in some ways, she still seemed like the same old Maddie. She still made the same face when she was worried. Her eyes were still the same dark brown. Even if she had completely changed the way she looked, Buck would have known her by her eyes.

That realization was what prompted Buck to finally just go inside. Maddie looked up as the door jingled and smiled at him. It seemed a little forced, but it was there, so Buck smiled back and took the seat across from her.

“Hey.” Maddie said softly.

“Hey.” Buck said, using every ounce of experience he’d ever gained in pretending everything was just fine. “How are you?”

“I’m good! I’m good. And you?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”

There was a moment of predictably awkward silence as they stared at one another.

“I’m uh- gonna get a drink.” Buck said quickly, sliding out of his seat.

By the time he was handed his mocha, Buck felt a little more capable of handling the conversation like an adult.

Apparently Maddie had taken it upon herself to get the ball rolling because as soon as he sat down she began, “So. You’re Firefighter Buckley now.”

“Technically the title is Mage-Firefighter Buckley. But yeah, that’s me.”

Maddie shook her head in wonder. “It’s such a strange coincidence. I heard Howie talking about working with a mage called Buck, but I had no idea it was you. He never said you were a death mage.”

That was surprising, given that as far as Buck had heard from the others, Chim was pretty horrendous at keeping secrets. “He didn’t? Well- I guess he only found out pretty recently.”

“He told me the story. You holding up that building? Sounds like you saved a lot of lives.”

Buck ducked his head, remembering the eleven deaths he hadn’t been able to prevent. “I guess so. But I was just- doing my job.” The fact that he had access to so much power made him seem like more of a hero than he really was. He had no doubt he’d done nothing more than any of the other firefighters there would have done with his power.

Maddie didn’t push the issue, instead changing the subject. “Do you go by Buck now rather than Evan? Or is it like- a firefighter nickname?”

“It started at the fire academy, there were three other Evans so we had to get creative. People started calling me Buckley, then Buck and it stuck. Seemed like… a fresh start?” Something he’d desperately needed. Because Evan was a death mage floating from job to job, screaming for a sense of purpose and connection. But Buck was a Mage-Firefighter who saved lives.

Maddie considered that for a moment, idly stirring her coffee. “I think it suits you. The name and the job.”

Buck smiled, realizing her approval was still important to him. But he’d had enough of talking about himself for the moment. “Are you working at the hospital then?”

The corners of Maddie’s mouth pulled down in a way that was achingly familiar. “No. I just couldn’t bear the idea of…” She shook her head. “Anyway, I’m working at dispatch now.”

Buck wanted to press, to ask Maddie what was upsetting her or for details about what was going on with Doug. But he wasn’t sure that he had the right. After all, though Maddie had turned down the opportunity to leave with him, he’d still left her there. He would probably feel guilty about that for the rest of his life.

Instead he sat back. “Wow. Somehow we both ended up being first responders huh?”

That made her smile. “I guess we’ve been working together without even realizing it. Feels like fate.”

“Yeah, seems like it.” Maybe it was. Buck had certainly prayed to Nathaira to reunite him with his sister every day in those first weeks she’d been gone. Maybe now was the right time in both of their lives to bring them back together.

“So what made you want to become a firefighter? You had a lot of different dream jobs as a kid, but I don’t think that was one of them.”

Even as a kid Buck had flitted from interest to interest, rarely able to settle on one for long. “I wanted to help people. Actually do something that mattered. Not just be a death mage laying low and doing some random shit.”

Concern crept into Maddie’s expression, putting her back into the elder sister slash mother role she’d been forced into by circumstance. “Is that alright though? I thought you guys were supposed to keep a low profile.”

Buck shrugged, a little defensive. “Yeah but- it’s not like I’m running for office. The people I work with now have to know what I am but I can usually hide it from the public. As far as most people are concerned I’m just a Mage-Firefighter like all the others.”

“You don’t think the Mortis will get involved?” Maddie pressed.

“Not unless I’m like- plastered all over national news. They don’t interfere unless they absolutely have to.”

Though, it was something that had crossed Buck’s mind, a vague worry. Death mages were supposed to keep their heads down and not attract too much attention. But when it came down to it, Buck wasn’t going to stop being a firefighter unless someone from the Mortis came in person and forced him to stop. Being a firefighter was the first job he’d done that genuinely meant something. That made him feel like a real person. He was even starting to build connections with the people around him. They would have to drag him away kicking and screaming before he gave all that up.

“If you’re sure.” Maddie said, sounding like she wasn’t sure at all.

As much as Buck knew it was coming from a place of true care, Maddie’s doubt was difficult to hear. Not wanting to get into an argument so quickly, Buck changed the topic. Their conversation was a little stilted, as there were so many things they were both tiptoeing around and refusing to say. But they managed to find a happy medium as they exchanged stories from work.

It wasn’t a perfect reunion. But it was a good start. Something to build on going forward.

-

Eddie paced his living room, feeling like a caged animal. He wanted to go for a run, but Shannon would be calling any minute. If he hadn’t promised Buck he’d do it he would probably be giving the whole thing up and ignoring the call. But Buck had messaged to say he was at the cafe half an hour ago, so Eddie had to uphold his end of the deal.

Sometimes he wished he lived in an alternate universe where problems disappeared if you just ignored them for long enough.

When his phone rang, Eddie could only look at it for three full rounds of his ringtone. Finally he snatched it up and accepted the call before he could talk himself out of it.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” Shannon sounded almost surprised he’d answered.

“Are you alright?” Eddie asked, because that was the first thought that had crossed his mind when he first saw the notification from Shannon. That she could only be getting in contact because something had happened. But her message had only asked to talk.

“Yeah I’m fine. Are you?”

“I’m fine.” He said shortly because he didn’t want to talk about himself.

“And… Chris?”

Something in him hurt to hear her so uncertain. “He’s good. Doing well in school. He’s adjusted to LA really well.”

“Does he… ask about me?”

He could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer. Whether he hated or loved that he still knew her so well was a mystery to him.

“Not really.” Eddie said, bluntly honest. Chris hadn’t asked about Shannon in months.

“Oh.”

Eddie began to pace, unable to stay still. “I mean- he has a lot to distract him. He uh- handed in a big science project on the life cycle of frogs the other day. Got an A on it. He can’t wait to bring it home and show Buck how well he did.”

“Buck?” Shannon asked as though taken off guard.

Eddie paused. He hadn’t exactly meant to mention Buck, so he hadn’t prepared how to explain him. Not that there was much to explain but Buck had taken a big role in their lives in such a short time. “A uh- he’s a friend from work.”

“A friend from work.” There was something weird in the way she said it.

“What?” Eddie demanded.

“And he… spends a lot of time with Christopher?”

Eddie bristled at her tone. “Sometimes. They get along well. He knows a lot of stuff - science, dinosaurs, space - Chris loves it.” Eddie was by no means stupid, but he had his areas of expertise. Buck seemed to be stuffed full of random knowledge about anything and everything.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to have him so close with your coworkers?” Shannon asked slowly.

“Are you sure you want to question my parenting choices after you disappeared on us?” Eddie growled in response, already half regretting it but too angry to stop.

Voice reproachful, Shannon answered. “You know I had to go. I couldn’t stay.”

“Yeah I do.” There was still too much growl in his voice. “But we were expecting you to come back.”

“I couldn’t - I just - I couldn’t come back.”

“You know, I don’t care what you do to me. That doesn’t matter. But what about Chris?”

“I’m doing this for Chris!” Shannon shot back desperately. “I couldn’t be his mother Eddie, I had to - I had to figure some things out first.”

Eddie huffed. “And now you just want to come back? Chris is your son, not just something you can pick up and put down whenever it suits you.”

“You’re the one that left first Eddie.”

And didn’t that sting. “I was trying to provide for us.”

“That was never about us Eddie, that was about you. I needed you and you weren’t there.” Shannon was getting choked up.

“I always had your back.” Eddie tried.

“No you didn’t! You didn’t, okay, you were in Afghanistan and I was stuck in Texas with your parents who hated me just for not being a werewolf.”

It was true, his parents had always wanted Eddit to settle down with another werewolf. As much as Eddie had tried to bear the brunt of their disapproval for his choice, his parents had just never come around to liking Shannon. Meaning they could act all high and mighty when she left, claiming they were always right about her.

Eddie sighed, thinking about what Buck had said. That both Eddie and Shannon had made mistakes to lead them to where they were. “I’m not- I don’t want to fight.” It seemed like all they’d done in the few times they’d spoken in recent years was fight.

“I don’t want to fight either Eddie.” Shannon said, sounding so tired.

The way Eddie felt about Shannon was so tangled and messy he had no idea what any of it meant anymore. He knew that under all of it he was still in love with her. Or at least- he was pretty sure he was. It was just so hard to untangle it when it stabbed into him every time he tried.

“I can start sending you updates about Chris.” Eddie offered, an olive branch.

“I’d like that.” Shannon said softly.

“And we’ll go from there I guess.” They’d only been talking for a few minutes but Eddie was already exhausted.

“Okay.”

There was silence then, filled only by the sound of their breathing crackling through speakers. Eddie vividly remembered a rare day in the beginning of his deployment when he’d managed to call Shannon for hours. They’d caught up on everything until neither of them had anything more to say. So they’d sat there, listening to each other’s breathing until Shannon fell asleep. It took him another hour to hang up - he’d been so desperately homesick.

The person he’d been then felt like a stranger.

“I’ll message you.” He said finally.

“Okay.” Shannon said again.

And Eddie hung up.

Chapter Text

Eddie had ended up going for a run. It hadn’t exactly solved anything, but it had quieted the urge to claw his own skin off at least. At this point, Eddie would take what he could get.

When he got back, Buck had texted to say he was on his way, so Eddie had taken a brisk shower and tried to make it look a little less like he hadn’t slept in three days. A glance in the mirror told him he wasn’t all that successful, but it would have to do.

He texted Buck to say the door was open and he could just come in, then retreated to the kitchen to make himself a coffee. Decaf, because he was jittery enough, he just wanted the distraction. Leaning against the counter, Eddie closed his eyes and focused on the bitter taste of coffee. Trying very hard not to think about anything at all.

“Hey Eddie!” Buck called out into the house as the front door opened.

If it was anyone else, the presence would have wound Eddie tighter, stress hitting a peak that would make him lash out. But it was just Buck.

“In the kitchen!” Eddie called back.

Buck appeared in the doorway and held up a brown paper bag. “I brought a late lunch. I was too nervous to eat at the cafe- figured you probably hadn’t eaten either.”

Since forcing down a protein bar that morning, Eddie hadn’t managed to stomach anything. So now that he thought about it, he was ravenous. “You read my mind. That another death mage trick?”

Grinning, Buck put the surprisingly weighty bag on the table. “Unfortunately not.” Then Buck frowned. “Or fortunately, actually. Reading people’s minds sounds awful.”

Eddie snorted in agreement. “I have enough trouble inside my own head, I don’t need to be in anyone else’s.”

“I know what you mean.” Buck hummed as he pulled two paper wrapped parcels from the bag, none of it with any branding. “So. Do you want the smash burger or the chicken burger?”

“Split ‘em both?” Eddie suggested, pulling out a knife. “Where is that even from?”

“Oh it’s this little place near me, it's like a pile of shipping containers with a bunch of food kiosks. They have some great stuff.”

Shaking his head, Eddie began splitting each of the burgers in half. “You’ll really just eat anything from anywhere huh?”

Buck pointed a carton of fries at him. “Now that is a death mage trick. I can’t get food poisoning. But this is safe, I promise.”

“Well I’m trusting you so it had better be. You want a drink? Beer? Coffee? I have zero alcohol beer too.”

“Oh yeah I’ll take a zero alcohol.”

They settled side by side at the table, the food spread between them as they ate in companionable silence. To be fair to Buck, the shipping container burgers were really good.

Finally Buck asked. “So, how’d it go with Shannon?”

Dropping his head to the table, Eddie just groaned.

“That good huh?” Buck was keeping it light with amusement, but there was concern in his eyes as he watched Eddie. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” Eddie rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Not right now.” It was still too immediate, too raw. He still felt scraped inside out.

“Alright.” Buck agreed easily. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“What about you? How was Maddie?” Sitting up, Eddie looked at Buck.

Buck hesitated, eyes distant as though thinking it over. “It was… weird.” He said finally. “But good.”

“Yeah?” It was nice to think at least one of them had had a good day.

“Yeah.” Buck nodded slowly. “It… felt like there was a lot we both weren’t saying. Things we can’t really talk about yet. God knows there are things I don’t want to tell her. But it seemed like a good place to start, after all this time.”

“Do you think you guys will be able to talk more then? Get into some of those things?”

Buck nodded. “I think so. I certainly hope so. I really want to know what happened with Doug but… it didn’t seem like the right time to ask.”

“But Doug is out of the picture, right?” Eddie asked. Buck hadn’t really explained further than the guy being ‘a piece of work’. But Eddie could infer from Buck’s tone every time he said the name that was an understatement.

“I think so. I just hope he doesn’t- like- come looking for her or something.” There was a dark glint in Buck’s eye that reminded Eddie exactly how dangerous he could be. On any ordinary day, Eddie couldn’t begin to imagine Buck hurting anyone. But if someone he loved was in danger? All bets were off.

“You think that’s a possibility? Him finding her.”

Buck sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. He was always- possessive.”

“Guess we’ll have to keep an eye out.” Eddie mused.

Buck looked at him with that soft surprise again. “We?”

“Yeah, ‘we’. I want to know what this asshole looks like so we know if he comes sniffing around.”

Sitting up a little straighter, Buck tipped his head. “Yeah that’s- that’s a good idea. I’ll see if I can find a photo of him- I’ll probably have to ask Maddie though.”

From there the conversation strayed more casual, both of them needing the relief of a less heavy interaction. Eddie would need to pick up Christopher from school in a few hours, but for the moment neither of them had anywhere to be.

At some point Buck went to the bathroom.

“Hey Eddie?” Buck called down the corridor, sounding odd.

Looking up, Eddie realized Buck was holding wolfsbane tincture. The wolfsbane that Eddie kept locked in a clear plastic box on top of the medicine cabinet so he could glance up at it and tell how much he had left, but Chris couldn’t get into it. He was a little paranoid about running out without realizing. He just couldn’t do a full moon without it. Eddie hadn’t shifted for a full moon since he first joined the army.

But it had been so long since Eddie regularly had adults that weren’t family around his house, he’d forgotten it would be on clear display. Especially for someone as tall as Buck.

All the awful tension of the day rushed back. He’d already had this argument with so many different people.

“Is this your wolfsbane?” Buck was frowning down at the box as though it had personally offended him.

“Yeah.” Eddie said shortly, gearing up for an argument.

“This stuff is awful.”

“I know the side effects. I’m an adult, it’s my choice.” Eddie ground out between his teeth. He knew that it was bad for him, but he just didn’t feel like he had another good option.

Buck grimaced at him. “I know but- this? Really, Eddie it’s-”

“You’re not going to convince me not to use wolfsbane.” Eddie snapped, so far from in the mood for this.

Buck blinked at him as though that was the furthest thing from what he was thinking. “What? No I mean- you can take wolfsbane if you want. It’s probably not a good idea but I’m like- poster boy for doing stupid shit. I’m not gonna tell you how to be a werewolf- glass houses dude. You just can’t use this wolfsbane.” He shook the box for emphasis.

Eddie could only stare at him, taken aback. He’d expected this to devolve into him yet again having to defend his decisions. But this took the wind right out of his sails. “What?”

“This is awful- hey, can you open this?”

“Okay.”

A little numbly, Eddie went to his bedroom and retrieved the key he kept separately to make sure there was absolutely no chance of Chris getting into it. Chris knew not to get into things that weren’t his, but it wasn’t worth the risk. Buck’s grimace deepened as the box opened.

“God- this stuff is-” Buck shook his head as though too disgusted for words.

Eddie looked at it, trying to see what Buck was apparently seeing. It seemed pretty much like the wolfsbane he’d been provided in the army.

“Where did you even get this stuff?” Buck asked.

Eddie gave a half shrug. “There’s this place on Westcote. I just found the first place I could when we moved here. Sign said they were licensed for brewing.”

“They shouldn’t be, if th-this is the shit they’re selling.” Buck said vehemently. Then his eyes widened. “No wonder you seemed off after the full moon. I’m s-surprised this hasn’t already put you in the hospital.”

Buck had noticed he wasn’t doing well? Eddie had thought he’d managed to hide it better than that.

“Is it really that bad?” Maybe it was something Eddie should know more about, given he took it every month. But he didn’t know much about what actually went into tylenol either.

He’d known the wolfsbane wasn’t exactly medical grade, but he hadn’t thought it was awful either.

“The ratios are all- all out of wack. I could tell j-just from the energy it’s giving off but-” Taking one of the little bottles, Buck held it up to the light and tilted it. “I’m pretty sure they used tennerite. That’s a total corner cutting move. Makes the brewing faster and easier but degrades the quality like crazy.”

“How do you even know all this?” Because that was a lot of detail to know even for Buck.

Buck shrugged nonchalantly. “I used to work in a brew shop for a while.”

“Of course you did.” Eddie shoved a hand through his hair. “So what do you suggest I do?”

“We’ve gotta find you a better place to get wolfsbane- somewhere that actually does it properly. Hell, I’d do it myself but I don’t really have the equipment anymore.” Buck chewed his lip, thinking.

Eddie deliberately averted his gaze, looking at the wolfsbane instead.

“I know a couple places, I can find you somewhere reliable. And I’ll need the name of the place you got this so I can report them. They shouldn’t be operating.” Buck was already on his phone, determined to fix this.

Eddie just watched him. Feeling understood in a way he didn’t think he ever had been before. Somehow Buck seemed to know exactly what Eddie needed and provided it as though it was the most natural thing in the world. As though it wasn’t everything. It was disorienting and incredible. Eddie couldn’t even rely on his own parents to help him without an argument.

And Buck had said ‘everything you guys have done for me’. As though he hadn’t saved Hen’s life and stepped into Eddie’s world to make his life easier. How Eddie was going to repay all this, he had no clue.

-

Two days later had them back on shift, bored out of their skulls on possibly the slowest shift Eddie had ever worked.

“Hey Buck?” Chim asked, clearly up to something.

“Yeah?” Buck replied, completely unsuspecting as he looked up at Chim.

Taking a seat beside Buck on the sofa, Chim continued, “You can turn into animals right?”

Eddie sat up, curious where this was going.

“Yeah- you guys know that.” Buck said easily.

“Like any animal?” Chim clarified. “We’ve only seen you turn into a bird.”

Finally Buck seemed to twig that Chim was up to something. “Pretty much any animal that has existed… why?”

“So you could definitely turn into a golden retriever? Could you show us?”

Buck squinted at him. “I mean- yeah. I guess.”

“Awesome! Please, have the floor.” Chim gestured to the space in front of the sofa.

Buck looked at Hen and Eddie, seemingly silently asking whether they knew anything about this. But neither of them did. Finally, he shrugged and got up.

It was a strange thing to watch, though Eddie had technically seen Buck transform once before. One second Buck was standing there, then a cloud of dark shadow seemed to swallow him whole. It shrank until suddenly a golden retriever stood there.

Chim took a tennis ball from his pocket and grinned mischievously at Eddie and Hen. “I read that mages take on some animal qualities when they transform. Watch this. Hey Buck! Fetch!” And he threw the ball.

Buck gave him the most baleful look Eddie had ever seen on a dog. Hen started cackling.

Slowly, Buck trotted over to the ball and picked it up in his mouth. When he brought it back he deliberately ignored Chim and instead presented it to Eddie.

“Oh, I get to play?” Eddie asked.

Buck barked once.

“I’m honored.” He tossed the ball, and this time Buck was after it like a shot.

“Hey!” Chim protested.

When Buck brought it back again, this time he presented the ball to Hen.

“Why thank you.” She said graciously, launching the ball for him.

“Hey, that’s my tennis ball you know!” Chim groused, making Hen and Eddie laugh harder. Getting up, he chased after Buck to try to get his turn.

From there it devolved into a game of ‘keep the ball away from Chim’. A few other bored A shift members joined in, extending the game from the loft down into the engine bay. They were all laughing and breathless, Buck bouncing happily from person to person.

“What is all this?”

Everyone froze and turned to look at Bobby, who’d been lured away from his paperwork by the noise. Buck skidded to a stop on the shiny floors and looked up at him.

Slowly, Bobby looked down at the dog and gave him a suspicious look. “Buck?”

Buck looked sheepish, but his tail kept wagging. He barked once around the tennis ball in his mouth.

Bobby rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Whatever is going on here, I don’t want to know. But if I end up having to write an incident report about this, I’m going to start making you all run laps of the station every hour so you don’t have the energy for this nonsense.”

Trotting forward, Buck dropped the ball on the floor in front of Bobby.

“Buck…” Bobby sighed.

But in the end, Bobby already seemed to have a soft spot for Buck a mile wide. He leaned down and picked up the ball, tossing it out into the engine bay. With a joyous bark, Buck bounded after it and the game was back in play.

Chapter Text

Buck hummed mindlessly to himself as he ran through his equipment checks one by one. As much as he knew they were important and always forced himself to do them, they were boring in a way that made his brain hurt. He always had to be doing something else as well to keep himself focused and on task.

Eddie was nearby, doing inventory on the ladder truck equipment. He had that cute little frown of concentration he got when he was paying close attention to something.

As Buck was finishing up, someone else came over to do his own checks. What was his name, Green- something. Greenmantle. He was usually over on B shift, but he’d swapped with Carter because her daughter had a field trip she was escorting. Glancing over, Buck gave him a polite smile, being friendly as usual. Greenmantle gave a huff and turned away from him.

Apparently someone had woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

Greenmantle tugged on his turnouts with more force than necessary, dislodging his helmet. It clattered to the floor.

“Here.” Buck stooped to pick it up.

“I don’t need help from an Issetik.” Greenmantle sneered, lip curling even as he snatched the helmet from Buck’s grasp.

Oh.

It had been a while since Buck had heard that word. He’d hoped, possibly naively, not to hear it from a member of his team. Not with the 118 anyway. He’d heard it from the 124 often enough.

“Right.” Buck said breezily, shrugging it off. “I was just trying to help.”

“Just stay out of my way.” Greenmantle snapped.

“What is your problem?” Eddie snapped, appearing at Buck’s shoulder.

“No problem.” With a sniff, Greenmantle turned away from them.

“Why are you talking to him like that you-” Eddie took a step towards Greenmantle.

It took Buck a long second to react, surprised. Then he put a hand on Eddie’s arm, stilling him. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine Buck-” Eddie protested.

“It’s fine.” Buck insisted. “I’m done here anyway.” He had to put a hand to Eddie’s chest, patting him twice.

That properly got Eddie’s attention and he frowned at Buck.

“Come on.” He tugged at Eddie’s arm, expecting to have to drag him. But Eddie went with him willingly.

They ended up in the bunks, as there was no one else using them in the middle of the day.

“Buck, you can’t just let him get away with-” Eddie began, a slight growl in his voice. It was hot, but Buck ignored that.

“It’s not a big deal.” Buck laughed. “He’s a bit pissy with me, so what?”

Eddie made a noise of frustration in the back of his throat. “What was that? What did he call you?”

That made Buck grimace. But chances were Eddie would hear it again, and he would find out what it meant from someone else if Buck didn’t tell him. “An Issetik.”

“And that means?”

“It’s Verkatsora.” The language of magic. “It means death mage.”

Eddie squinted at him, apparently picking up on something in the way he said it. “Is that all it means?”

Ordinarily Buck loved the way Eddie seemed to be able to read his mind. But in that moment he wished he couldn’t. “The literal translation would be… abomination. Or monster. Something along those lines.”

Eddie shifted his weight like he was ready to storm out there and confront him, but he’d have to get past Buck to do that. “So he just called you an abomination?”

“It’s a word people use for death mages Eddie, have for a very long time.” Buck shrugged.

“Is there a different word? Something else people use?” Eddie demanded.

“I mean, there’s Varrekai. That means death bringer so it’s… a little better I guess.” In the grand scheme of things, it really didn’t matter.

Folding his arms, Eddie frowned stubbornly. “So he should be using that.”

Buck just watched him for a minute. It seemed surreal. Eddie had tried to defend him. Would have defended him, if Buck hadn’t intervened. When was the last time anyone had done that for him?

But the thing was, the thing his team didn’t seem to understand was that people had good reason to be scared of him. Death mages were dangerous. And scared people said stupid shit. There was no need to get mad about it.

“It’s alright.” Buck said softly. “If I got worked up about every person that called me something unpleasant, I’d never do anything else. Besides, I don’t care what Greenmantle thinks of me, he’s an asshole.”

Eddie shook his head. “We should tell Bobby.”

Buck shook his head in response, stubbornly copying Eddie’s stance. “There’s no need to stir up trouble.”

“He’s the one stirring up trouble.” Sighing, Eddie ran a hand through his hair. “Fine. Okay. I’ll leave it for now. But if anything else happens I’m going straight to Bobby.”

Buck didn’t doubt that he would. A few months ago the idea of someone doing that for him would have been unimaginable. And the even crazier thing was, Bobby would probably do something about it.

“Okay.” Buck agreed. “Okay, if he does anything else, you can tell Bobby.” He would just have to do his best to avoid Greenmantle. “Come on, let’s go finish the inventory.”

-

They were getting ready for dinner when a visitor arrived at the station. Athena joined them in the loft and greeted Bobby with a warm smile as the rest of them exchanged significant glances behind their backs. Apparently there was a bet going as to whether they were together or about to get together. Buck didn’t know them well enough to give a confident guess either way, but there was definitely an energy there. If they weren’t already together it seemed like only a matter of time.

“What can we do for you?” Bobby asked, voice somewhere between professional and friendly as he tried to gauge the reason for her visit.

Athena turned her attention on Buck. “I’m actually here to talk to Buck.”

Every eye in the room turned on him.

Sitting up, Buck chuckled nervously. “Me? I’m not in trouble am I?” He hadn’t done anything recently that would require police involvement. He’d done some possibly mildly illegal shit in the past, but he was pretty sure the statute of limitations was up on all of that.

“Not unless you have something to confess.” It seemed like maybe Athena was teasing, but Buck didn’t know her well enough to be sure.

“Nope.” Buck shook his head. “No confessions here.”

“I was actually wondering whether you would consult on a case for a colleague of mine.”

“Oh.” That was unexpected. “Oh, you want death mage advice?”

“That’s the idea.” Athena smiled at him. It was weird to be pinned with the affection she bestowed so easily on Hen and Bobby. She would even smile at Eddie and Chim regularly, but it was the first time this smile had been directed at Buck. Because he was useful now.

This was an opportunity to show Athena that he really was evolving from the idiot hot head she’d first met. Even if that had only been a year ago. If someone asked why Athena’s approval meant so much to him, Buck probably wouldn’t have been able to explain. But it did.

“Yeah! I mean totally- of- of course.” Did the rules about death mage secrets apply when talking to the police? It wasn’t like he was giving testimony or anything.

A lot of the things he had been sworn to secrecy about had very good reason for being kept from people. Over and over again through history people had tried to use death mages as tools or weapons. It always ended in tragedy.

Of course, death mages weren’t exactly stable when left to their own devices either. But at least that way there was usually less collateral damage.

“When are you free to come down to the station? The sooner the better.”

“He can go now.” Bobby offered. “We only have a few hours left this shift, we can deal with being a man down if it’s for official police business.”

Athena raised an eyebrow at Buck. “That work for you?”

“Sure. Just- let me get changed.”

-

Buck followed Athena’s squad car in his jeep so he would have an easy way home when they were done. At the station, Athena led him through the bullpen towards the back offices.

“Detective Caldwell is working on a couple of murders that seem to be connected. I’ll let her fill you in on the details, but they’ve hit a dead end. She said she needed the advice of a death mage so I offered to introduce you.” Athena explained as they walked. “Ah, Caldwell. This is my friend Evan Buckley, he’s agreed to see if he can help with the investigation.”

Buck was reeling from being called Athena’s friend as they entered the office. Caldwell was a tall woman, maybe in her mid forties, with dark brown hair pulled back neatly in a low bun. She looked tired but determined.

“Mr Buckley, thanks for coming.” Caldwell shook his hand briskly.

“Oh, you can call me Buck.” He was always vaguely uncomfortable being called Mr Buckley, it reminded him too much of his father.

“Alright, Buck. I’ll fill you in.”

“Uhm- Athena?” An officer poked her head into the office, looking uncertain about interrupting. Her namebadge said Quinn. “Eckhart is looking for you.”

“Thanks Quinn. I assume you’ll be fine here?” Athena’s question was directed at Buck.

He nodded quickly. “Yeah I’ll be fine, do what you need to.”

Athena left quickly so Buck turned his full attention on Caldwell.

“So.” Caldwell moved over to a glass board covered in notes and pictures. “We have three bodies so far. The third was discovered only hours ago. We’ve managed to keep this from the media so far but it’s only a matter of time.”

“A serial killer?” Buck asked as he examined the photos.

“It would seem so.” Caldwell said grimly. “All three bodies have no damage besides bruises from restraints. There is no clear cause of death. Our magic techs have confirmed the presence of strong magic, but have been unable to determine the type of magic or the intention behind it.”

Buck frowned at her. “That’s unusual.”

“Very.” Caldwell confirmed. “Most magic leaves a lot of trace evidence but this is just… blank.”

“So what do you want from me? I don’t know what I could do that your techs wouldn’t have tried already.”

Caldwell examined him in a way that suggested she was sizing him up. “I worked with a death mage in Chicago before I transferred here. He had a method of seeing a victim’s last moments.”

Buck rocked on his heels in surprise. “He did?”

Caldwell’s look turned unimpressed. “You don’t have that ability?”

“It’s not something we usually advertise.” Buck said slowly. Not to mention it was dangerous. It was a type of magic Buck had used before, but it was not to be taken lightly. He’d learned that lesson the hard way.

“Well I suppose he felt it was necessary in the pursuit of justice.” Caldwell said it as though she was baiting him. As though this mystery mage was a better person for volunteering his magic for crime solving purposes.

“But anything I find won’t be admissible in court.” Any magic finding that couldn’t be verified by another mage was essentially useless.

But Caldwell was already shaking her head. “I don’t need you to find evidence. I just need a lead. Anything. Can you do it?”

Buck bit his lip, thinking. He was capable of it, though it would suck. It was dangerous, but for a death mage as powerful as he was, no more dangerous than running into a burning building. If he took precautions…

Evidently he was taking too long because Caldwell kept going. “If we don’t find something fast, we’re just going to keep finding bodies. This person isn’t going to stop until they’re caught.”

And that was the thing that ultimately clinched it. Because when it came down to it, Buck never turned away from someone who needed his help.

“Yeah. I can do it. It’ll take me a while to gather the materials though.” This wasn’t the kind of thing he could brute force or pour magic into.

“This case is high priority. I can give you full access to the LAPD mage stores.” There was an eager gleam in Caldwell’s eye, hungry for a break in the case.

Buck took a deep breath, hoping this wasn’t as stupid a decision as it felt. “Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Chapter Text

Buck looked around the mage store room, impressed. Apparently the LAPD mages were almost astonishingly well catered to. Though, judging by the dust accumulated on some shelves, it was a store that had been built up over time.

The LAFD provided their mages with a kit of all the most commonly useful supplies, but when it came to more complex things they had to wait for a dedicated mage response team. There just wasn’t room on the engines for this much stuff when most of it was only useful in very specific circumstances. Buck could brute force most things, but if he had access to this kind of store all the time, he wouldn’t have to.

“Hi?”

Buck spun around to see a man about his age eyeing him in slight confusion. “Hi.” He gave an awkward smile.

The guy caught a look at Buck’s visitor badge and frowned. “This area is off limits to the public.” He was a few inches shorter than Buck, dark skinned and lithe. He was handsome in a wide eyed youthful kind of way. The kind of guy Buck would be flirting with if they were in a bar rather than a police station.

“Right, I’m consulting on a case for Detective Caldwell. She said I could have access to- all this. But she got a call and had to step out.” He gestured to where he hoped Caldwell was still somewhere nearby and able to vouch for his story.

The guy’s eyebrows rose. “You’re consulting on the Czerny case? I didn’t realize we were bringing in anyone new.”

“You’ve been working the case?” Buck didn’t mean to come in and step on anyone’s toes.

“Yeah. I’m Wyatt Kane, mage technician.” He offered his hand out for a shake, still eyeing Buck like he was wondering what Buck could bring to the table that Wyatt couldn’t.

“Evan Buckley, Mage-Firefighter. I go by Buck though.”

“Firefighter huh? What are you looking for in here then? Maybe I can help you find it.” Wyatt said coolly.

Buck got the distinct impression Wyatt felt like he was encroaching on territory he didn’t belong in. “Well, ammonite, redwood ash, dried king’s crown petals and bone dust if you have it.”

Frowning, Wyatt put the pieces together. “But that’s- are you trying to reach into the Grey?” The guy was certainly quick, useful in a job like his.

“That’s the idea.” Buck confirmed easily, scanning the shelves.

Wyatt’s mouth dropped open in shock. “But that’s- like- suicidal.”

Spreading his hands, Buck gave a little shrug. “Not for a death mage.”

Somehow Wyatt’s eyes got wider. “You’re a death mage?”

Buck nodded sheepishly, ducking his head. “In the flesh.”

“They actually brought in a death mage?” His voice had turned to wonder now.

It wasn’t often, but every now and then Buck met someone that wasn’t scared or intimidated by him being a death mage. Instead they were fascinated. Sometimes it tipped over into an almost fanatical obsession with death, but some people were just curious.

“I guess Caldwell wanted a different perspective.”

“I guess.” Wyatt murmured. “But- you’re a firefighter?”

Buck winced there were some people who didn’t think death mages should be allowed in jobs that involved saving lives. They claimed it would be too easy for a mage to tip someone over into death and claim it as an accident.

“So do you mind helping me get what I need?” Buck prompted.

“Right! Yeah, sorry. I’ve never actually met a death mage before.” Scratching his head, Wyatt turned to the shelves and began looking for components.

“Most people haven’t.” Buck said reassuringly.

With Wyatt’s help, Buck had no trouble finding everything he needed for the ritual. For him the difficulty was less about getting into the Grey but more about getting out.

Caldwell poked her head in the door as they were finishing up. “Got everything? Oh Kane I see you’ve met Buck.”

“Didn’t want to give me a heads up you were bringing a death mage on to the case?” Wyatt asked, though he sounded more amused than annoyed.

Caldwell shrugged. “I didn’t know if he would agree to help.” Then she turned to Buck. “Ready to head down to the morgue?”

After one last glance at the components, Buck nodded. “Good to go.”

Wyatt tagged along with them down to the morgue, seeming almost to buzz with curiosity. The mortician was nowhere to be seen, presumably by Caldwell’s request, so the three of them stepped into the cold room uncontested.

Caldwell opened the drawer that contained Eliane Hightower, the most recent body to be discovered. “You want her on the slab?”

Buck waved a hand. “No need. This will be fine.” Kneeling on the cold tile, Buck began arranging the ritual.

Wyatt watched his every move with vested interest. “Can I help? Do you need an anchor?”

Buck bit his lip in thought. Anchors worked best when based in emotional attachment, providing a line back to reality. But another mage could work in a pinch, providing a beacon instead. Like a lighthouse waiting to guide him back in. Buck hadn’t had an anchor since the last time Alexandra had done it for him.

If he had an anchor it would probably take this from a very stupid maneuver to just a kind of stupid one.

“Have you anchored for someone before?” Buck asked. There were plenty of ways to get lost in magic that didn’t involve the Grey.

Wyatt shrugged. “Yeah. I mean- not for anything involving the Grey of course. But it’s the same principle right?”

“More or less. Do you have good shields?”

Calwell had her arms crossed as she just stood back watching.

“Yeah. We have to, given some of the stuff we handle.” Wyatt confirmed, helping Buck spread ash out in a circle.

“Great. Keep your shields up, focus on your own magic and ignore the Grey. Don’t touch it, even if it looks like I’m having trouble.” Buck said seriously. He didn’t want to have to rescue Wyatt if things went wrong, he would have enough trouble getting himself out.

“Understood.” With a nod, Wyatt settled cross legged outside of the ash circle.

“Okay.” Looking at the set up, Buck tried to remember if he was missing anything. There were very few hard and fast rules about what components to use in what ritual, instead it was based on what an individual mage needed.

Buck had the ash to contain the magic, the ammonite for clarity, the bone dust to keep him tethered to his body and the dried king's crown flowers for focus. That should be enough.

Sitting back, he ran a hand over his eyes then closed his fist over his heart.

“Praying to Nathaira?” Wyatt asked curiously.

“I’d rather do this with the lady’s favor than without.”

Nathaira, the lady of Death, was a little like the patron saint of death mages. If Verkatsora had saints, that is. Buck had never really been sure how much he actually believed in the gods, but he’d always liked the idea of Nathaira watching out for him. It had been especially comforting in the years he’d traveled alone.

“Right.” Buck said finally, settling on his heels and squaring his shoulders. “Here goes.”

With Wyatt and Caldwell watching him silently, Buck slowly reached out into the Grey.

It had always reminded him of quicksand, the way he’d assumed it would work as a kid. Stepping out onto what seemed like solid ground and falling through into suffocating wet sand. Clogging his senses, dragging at his limbs. No matter how many times he did it, he never got used to it.

Elaine’s body was right there, the Grey still clinging to it like a shroud. So all Buck had to do was reach out with his magic and put his forefinger and thumb over her closed eyes.

Buck slipped into her last moments.

Darkness.

Elaine had her eyes closed and- Buck focused on the sensation- something over them. A blindfold. Tied tight enough to hurt.

He dove deeper into her sense of touch. She was sitting upright. Wrists bound to the arms of a chair. Her entire body ached. As though she’d run a marathon then gone to a mosh pit then been dipped in a vat of acid.

Elaine shuddered and Buck shuddered with her. They were one in death.

Hands touched their head, fingers trailing back from their temples. Elaine and Buck flinched. They listened hard but there was only breathing behind them.

“Please.” They whimpered.

No answer came.

The hands untied the knot at the back of their head. The blindfold fell away. The sudden light hurt, they blinked hard as their eyes adjusted. They were in a darkened room, a single light aimed at the wall. Words were painted across it in slick black letters.

THE NATURAL ORDER BENDS TO MY WILL AND I AM BECOME A GOD

Elaine and Buck’s breath hitched in a sob, confused and terrified. “Please- don’t- I-”

The hands moved to their shoulders, pressing down, fingernails digging in. Pain raced through them like wildfire. Skin to muscle to organs to bone, all alight with searing agony.

They couldn’t even scream, only an awful choked noise stuttering from their throat. For a time they could not count, there was only pain.

Then they were ripped apart. Elaine was gone and Buck was left behind. He floated alone in the Grey, untethered. The quiet painless void she had crossed into was the siren song of the Grey. No more pain or fear.

Because Buck could feel the echoes of pain from his own body, kneeling in the morgue. His muscles contracting and protesting the abuse. But here, just for a moment, nothing hurt.

But the real world was waiting.

Only, he had to find it first, and claw his way back. He searched for his body, and the beacon Wyatt had said he would hold for him. But it all just felt so far away.

He was so tired. It was so peaceful.

But he thought, unexpectedly, of Eddie and Chris. Of making pancakes in the early morning light in Eddie’s kitchen. Watching as they smiled, joining in on their banter. Chris was such a sweet kid. And Eddie… Eddie really was something else.

There. His body.

Buck used his own pain to pinpoint his body. Then he had to drag himself back, inch by inch. It got a little easier as he caught sight of the beacon. Wyatt had done as he said he would and was guiding him back.

Finally, Buck slammed back into his body. He collapsed to all fours, choking and heaving. Someone held his shoulders, keeping him from hitting the floor.

God this was awful. How had he forgotten how awful this was? He was going to have a migraine for days.

“Buck?” Caldwell asked, helping him sit upright.

Wyatt was at his other side, supporting him.

“Yeah?” Buck coughed, eyes watering.

“What did you see?” Caldwell’s voice was urgent.

Haltingly, through gasps, Buck explained what he’d seen. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Buck could give no details on the killer, no clues about where Elaine had been held. At some point Wyatt went and got him water, which Buck gulped down gratefully.

“Alright.” Caldwell said finally. “Thank you for trying Buck. Maybe the writing will have some significance we can use.” Standing, she rolled her shoulders. “I’m going to update the case board. Will you be alright getting home?”

“I’ll make sure he is.” Wyatt volunteered.

With that, Caldwell turned and left the room.

“Sorry about her, she's very- focused.” Then Wyatt’s expression crumpled. “Are you alright? That was- awful. Watching you…” He trailed off and shook his head.

“Yeah.” Buck wiped the back of his hand over his forehead and sighed. “Yeah I’ll be fine. Sorry- probably should have warned you.”

“Don’t apologize man it’s-” Wyatt shook his head. “You probably just wanna get home, huh?”

“God yes.” Buck struggled to his feet with Wyatt’s help. “You don’t have to help though I’ll be fine.”

“No way. After that? Listen, I'll feel better if I know you haven’t passed out on the side of the road.” Wyatt assured him.

Too tired to argue, Buck just nodded. And well- if Wyatt hadn’t been there Buck probably would have ended up passing out on the back seat of his jeep until he was well enough to drive.

Instead, Wyatt followed his directions and drove him home in his sensible little car. Buck would just have to get his jeep another day.

“This is you?” Wyatt asked, peering up at the crumbling apartment building with clear unease.

“Yep.” His apartment sucked, but not many people were willing to rent a place to a death mage. It usually made the neighbors antsy.

“You want a hand getting up there?”

“No, no.” Buck waved him off. Everything still hurt, but he was steadier on his feet. He could handle some stairs. “Thanks for the ride man.”

“No problem. Get some rest okay? And come by the lab if you’re at the station again.” Wyatt smiled at him, wide and pretty.

Oh, if Buck wasn’t feeling so dreadful he would be asking whether Wyatt wanted to come up to his apartment and ‘get to know each other’. The contact would help with the magic hangover. But maybe it was better this way. Maybe Wyatt could be a friend rather than a one night stand. “Will do. Thanks again.”

With that, Wyatt drove away and Buck dragged himself up the stairs to collapse into bed.

He didn’t move from that spot for the next eighteen hours.

Chapter Text

Eddie hummed quietly to himself as he folded laundry. As it turned out, Buck had been completely right about the wolfsbane. Now that he had switched to using the shop Buck had found for him, he felt so much better. Clearer, less aching. Even his senses were sharper. He hadn’t even realized how bad it was getting until it changed. Like painkillers kicking in to clear up a constant, low-grade headache. Last month after the full moon he felt like he’d been hit by a bus, and this month he was getting a head start on the chores that were always piling up.

Of course, wolfsbane still wasn’t good for him. It wasn’t a good long term option. But every time Eddie thought about stopping the wolfsbane use, he was filled with something like… panic. The very thought of being so out of control again, especially without his pack around him… He just didn’t think he could do it. Who could he possibly put that much trust in?

Eddie hadn’t actually shifted since he was 18 and the army had begun providing him wolfsbane. He knew he would have to again, probably some time soon. But for the moment he was putting it off as long as he possibly could. There was just too much else to think about for the moment, he couldn’t bear to add something he didn’t absolutely have to.

When the last of the towels were folded and put away, Eddie picked up his phone to text Buck and thank him for his help. It was still amazing to Eddie that Buck hadn’t just pointed out the issue, he’d made it his mission to resolve it. He’d reported the old shop to the mage council, though Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. And he’d found Eddie a new place to get wolfsbane, going so far as to scout it out in person and make sure they were doing things properly.

But Eddie frowned down at his phone as he realized his last text, sent hours ago, hadn’t even been read.

Which was highly unusual for Buck. He seemed to spend most of his time with his phone glued to him. Constantly using it to look things up or note down thoughts or scroll through funny videos of dogs. Though- now that Eddie thought about it, he rarely actually saw Buck using it to message people. Still, he always replied to Eddie, usually within an hour.

Maybe he was busy.

Eddie typed out the message thanking Buck, sent it, and put his phone away. Tried not to think about it. It might be strange that he wasn’t responding, but Buck had no obligation to reply to Eddie.

Only, an hour later after he’d done all the dishes and deep cleaned the kitchen, there was still no response.

It was ridiculous. There was no need to be concerned. Buck was a grown man and a death mage. He could certainly take care of himself.

He scrolled up to check when Buck had last messaged. It was before their most recent shift. So Eddie hadn’t heard anything from Buck since he’d gone with Athena to consult on whatever case she needed him for.

Eddie gave in and tried calling.

No answer.

Eddie flipped his phone between his fingers, considering. Now that he was actually thinking about it, he realized he had no idea where Buck lived. Though Buck had been to Eddie’s place quite a few times now, Eddie had never been to Buck’s. It was just easier to go to Eddie’s, given that he usually had Chris there.

So Eddie couldn’t just drive round and check in on him to satisfy his worry.

But they did have a shift in a few hours. Chances were, he’d see Buck there and everything would be fine. And if he didn’t, he would get Buck’s address from Bobby even if he had to break into the captain’s office to get it.

When he got to the station he scanned the parking lot for Buck’s jeep. It wasn’t there. He walked in, trying to contain the nervous energy. For the first time Eddie found himself glad of the glass walls of the locker room, as it meant he could watch outside.

Buck walked in.

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, checking him over visually. He seemed fine. Maybe Eddie’s instinctive worry really had been nothing.

Only, as the shift properly got started, it seemed like something was wrong. Buck was smiling and chatting away with people, generally acting like his usual cheerful self. But there was something off about it, like it was a performance. His reactions were slow, he winced every time there was an unexpected noise, his smile slipped when he thought no one was watching him.

So far working with Buck, Eddie hadn’t seen him be anything other than on top form other than just after he’d pulled a shard of glass out of his side. Since that incident Eddie had found himself paying more attention to Buck, trying to make sure he wasn’t hiding any new injuries. But this was different somehow.

Eventually Eddie’s patience for silent watching ran out and he joined Buck on the sofa.

“What’s up?” Eddie asked, trying not to sound confrontational.

“Hmm?” Buck looked at him, a bland smile on his face.

“You keep wincing.” Eddie said, because he didn’t think he’d get anywhere if he didn’t just call Buck out on it.

“Oh, I’ve just got a headache.” Buck gave a slight shrug, as though it was nothing.

But Buck had acted the same way about a gut wound. Eddie narrowed his eyes. “What have you taken for it?”

Buck tipped his head with confusion. “Taken?”

“Painkillers. For the headache. Have you taken any?” Eddie got the feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“No?”

“Why not?” Eddie prompted.

Buck stared at him as though this line of questioning was unfathomable to him. “It’s fine. It’ll pass.”

“Right.” Eddie said slowly. “But that doesn’t mean you have to just sit with it until it does. Unless- does medication interfere with your magic or something?” Sometimes Eddie felt like he needed some kind of guide book to navigate Buck’s mage abilities.

“I… don’t know.” Sitting back, Buck seemed to consider it carefully. “I guess the stronger stuff would, anything that makes you drowsy or whatever.”

“You don’t know? When was the last time you had painkillers?”

“Uh…” Buck squinted in thought.

If it took him that long to think, it had probably been too long. His immediate answer should have been the last time he got hurt on the job.

“If it doesn’t interfere with your magic, why don’t you take them?” Eddie pressed.

Buck shook his head. “Pain is useful. It keeps us grounded.”

There was something odd about the way he said it. Rehearsed, like he was repeating someone else’s words. Eddie could only assume what he meant by ‘us’.

Eddie’s eyebrows pulled up in concern. “Would you say that to a patient? Or hell, a coworker?”

Expression turning almost offended, Buck shook his head. “Of course not. They aren’t death mages.”

There it was again. That deeply ingrained feeling he seemed to have, that suggested that death mages were something almost subhuman. Not worthy of care or compassion.

Eddie tried a different tactic. “Why do you need to stay grounded?”

Buck’s expression went dark. In the way he’d only seen once before, when Buck had warned him that death mages were dangerous. “It’s in the best interest of everyone.”

And what the hell did that mean? This whole conversation was such a minefield, Eddie didn’t feel like he was getting anywhere at all.

Finally, Eddie sighed. “If I get you some painkillers, will you take them?” He asked.

Buck frowned at him. “I guess so.”

Not exactly a very convincing agreement, but Eddie would take it. “Great. Wait here.”

Eddie kept a bottle of extra strength Tylenol in his locker for occasions just such as this. He checked the bottle quickly, making sure they didn’t cause drowsiness. But it should be fine. He took two pills and a glass of water to Buck.

For a moment Buck just looked at them. Then, trustingly, Buck knocked the pills back and took a swig of water.

He gave Eddie an amused look. “Happy?”

“Yes.” Eddie said primly. He felt oddly accomplished, with the hope that he had eased Buck’s pain at least a little.

-

The call started out simple enough. A medical call to a man who had gotten his hand stuck in a garbage disposal in the middle of the night. Eddie was knelt on the floor trying to dislodge the mechanism so they could travel it with the patient. The guy’s hand was jammed in there good and tight, they didn’t want to touch it if they didn’t have to.

“I don’t know how it happened.” The poor guy babbled, likely going into shock. They had draped a blanket around his shoulders in an attempt to keep him warm, but really they just needed to get him out of there as soon as possible. “I was just cleaning the sink- I have insomnia and- and- it was-”

“It’s alright.” Hen said kindly as she took his vitals. “Accidents happen, we’re gonna get you out of here as fast as we can.”

Buck, Chim and Bobby stood back, unable to help as there was simply no room for them to squeeze in by the sink.

“No- I mean- It was like I was pushed.” The guy shook his head. “I tried to catch myself and my hand just- slipped down.”

“I think you were pushed.” Buck said, voice odd.

They all turned to look at Buck, but his attention was fixed on the ceiling.

“Buck?” Bobby asked.

“Has this house been investigated for spirits?” Buck asked urgently.

“Uh- no? I mean- it’s not like a really old house or anything.” The guy responded.

“That doesn’t matter.” Buck was already disappearing down the corridor.

“Right.” Bobby sighed. “Eddie, you go back him up. I’ll take over here.”

“Yeah Cap.” Eddie handed over the tools and jogged in the direction Buck had disappeared. He made it just in time to see Buck taking the stairs two at a time, so he followed.

Buck stood on the landing, he glanced at Eddie but said nothing. His eyes turned black as he dipped into his magic, making the hairs on Eddie’s arm stand up. It made Eddie smile a little, the way Buck no longer hid the evidence of his magic from him.

Leaning against the railing, Eddie tried to use his own senses as well. Now that Buck had pointed it out, there was definitely something off about the place. Not the kind of house Eddie would have wanted to live in. It was a big house though, the kind that must have gone for an eye-watering price given the LA housing market.

“This way.” Buck murmured, leading the way down a corridor to the right.

They walked slowly, Eddie two steps behind Buck to give him room to do his thing. Then Buck stopped in front of a door. Turning to Eddie, Buck put one hand on the handle and silently held up three fingers.

Eddie shifted his stance to be ready, though he wasn’t sure what he was meant to get ready for exactly. He had little experience with ghosts or spirits or whatever the right word was.

After putting the last finger down, Buck shoved the door open. Eddie tensed, ready to pounce, or run, or something. But Buck just stared into the room.

“Oh.” Buck breathed.

“What?” Eddie hissed, trying to peer into the room but seeing what looked like a fancy office, mostly empty except for a desk to one side.

“It’s a kid.” Buck said softly.

Eddie’s stomach dropped. Calls involving kids always sucked. And apparently they sucked even if the kid was already dead. “The- ghost is?”

Buck nodded, never taking his eyes off whatever he was seeing. “Yeah. Can you tell Cap I’m gonna handle this?”

Eddie nodded uncertainly. “You don’t need- back up or something?”

“No. Just the mage kit from the engine.”

“Right.”

Eddie made it downstairs as they were transferring the patient on to a gurney. He waited until Bobby handed the guy off to Hen and Chim before telling him, “Buck found a ghost upstairs- a kid apparently. I need to get him his kit.”

Bobby’s face fell into a grim kind of understanding. “Got it. Do what you need to.”

Snagging the kit, Eddie hurried back upstairs. He slowed at the corridor though, unsure of the protocol. He peered into the office.

Buck was sitting in the middle of the floor rocking slowly back and forth, murmuring softly. Something small and smudgy was cradled carefully in his arms. Eddie found it hard to look directly at it, but when he saw it out of the corner of his eye it seemed to resolve into the shape of a child.

Catching Buck’s eye, Eddie held up the kit. Wordlessly asking whether it was alright to approach.

“This is my friend Eddie.” Buck said gently. “He’s just bringing me my magic kit.”

Despite not being able to see more than a smudge, Eddie decided to treat this as he would any child. “Hi there.” He said, stepping slowly into the room. He put the kit down next to Buck.

The ghost evidently said something, because Buck smiled and said, “Yeah he’s pretty cool.” Then he flashed a smile at Eddie. “Thanks. We’ll be down in a minute, I think.”

That was a pretty clear dismissal. Eddie didn’t know what Buck meant by ‘they’ exactly but it didn’t seem like the time to be asking questions. So Eddie gently closed the door and went to sit on the stairs. Just so he could hear in case something went wrong.

Chapter Text

Buck always hated encountering the ghosts of children. Despite the prevalent depictions of ghost children throughout media, they were actually pretty rare. Ghosts were tethered to the world by an intense connection to their life, either positive or negative. Children as young as Suzy rarely had time to form a connection that strong.

When they did, it was almost always caused by negative emotion. By experiencing something no child ever should.

So when Buck opened the door to the office and saw the smudgy little girl sitting on the floor, his stomach dropped. Buck could speculate on what could have possibly kept her there. But in all honesty he didn’t want to think about it, with no evidence to go on his mind could conjure up a litany of awful things.

He sent Eddie to talk to Bobby before slowly making his way into the room. “Hi.”

The girl craned her head to look up at him. She had deep brown hair and light eyes, maybe blue or green but it was hard to tell. Her eyes were wide and scared as she stared at him.

“Yeah, I can see you.” Buck said kindly, hoping not to spook her. Having to hunt her across the house would only be more upsetting for both of them. Lowering himself to sit cross legged on the floor near her, Buck gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile. “My name is Buck. Do you think you can tell me your name?”

The girl opened her mouth but no sound came out. She must have used a lot of energy trying to reach out earlier that night.

“You can come and borrow a little of my power if you like.” Buck offered, holding out his hand to her. Was this the smartest thing to do when he was still recovering from his latest tangle with the Grey? Probably not. But he knew how to handle himself.

For a moment the little ghost just eyed his hand, face serious like she was weighing her options. Buck pressed his lips together to keep from laughing at how cute she was. Then, finally, she put her hand in his. Immediately she became more solid. Then, to Buck’s surprise, she climbed into his lap and sat on his leg. Automatically he adjusted to make room for her.

It was a strange sensation. She was simultaneously heavy and weightless. There was pressure against his thigh where she perched, but there was no actual substance to her.

“Well hi there. May I know who I have the honor of speaking to?”

“Suzy.” Her voice was so tiny it made Buck’s heart squeeze.

“Hi Suzy. That’s a very lovely name. Alright then Suzy. Seems to me you’ve been here for a while.” Buck purposefully kept his voice light.

“Long time.” Suzy agreed, looking down as she played with something in her little hands. A metal dolphin that looked more like an ornament than a toy.

“Must get pretty lonely hmm? Were you trying to reach out?” If she had managed to physically affect a person it meant she was a strong ghost. Especially odd given her age.

Suzy looked up at him then, tears glistening in her big sad eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.” Her voice wobbled with regret.

“Oh I know you didn’t sweetheart.” Buck assured her, wrapping his arms around her. “I know. It’s okay. My friends are helping him, he’s going to be just fine.” Technically Buck didn’t actually know the state of the guy’s hand, but no matter what there was no need for the poor girl to feel guilty about it.

Suzy was just desperately reaching out for any connection she could get. Buck knew exactly what that felt like. He rocked them slowly back and forth, whispering assurances.

He looked up as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Eddie, back with the kit he’d asked for. As their gazes met, Eddie held up the bag in silent question.

Buck glanced down at Suzy, who was hiding behind his arm as she watched Eddie warily.

“This is my friend Eddie.” He said calmly. “He’s just bringing me my magic kit.”

“Hi there.” Eddie said as he put the kit down, giving them the smile he always used for the children they dealt with on calls. It was kind, but not quite so warm as the one he reserved for Christopher.

“He looks nice.” Suzy said softly.

Buck smiled down at her. “Yeah he’s pretty cool.” Then he turned to Eddie. “Thanks. We’ll be down in a minute I think.”

On his way out Eddie gently closed the door, leaving them to it.

“Alright.” Buck shifted Suzy a little so he could talk to her face to face. “What have you got there? Is that a dolphin?”

“Yeah. Milly.” Suzy showed him the little metal statuette.

“Milly.” Buck nodded. The dolphin was almost certainly Suzy’s trigger object. He just needed to find the real Milly rather than the ghostly copy. “Milly should have a twin somewhere, do you know where she is?” As he spoke, Buck opened his mage kit with one hand. He knew the layout well enough he didn’t have to look to find what he needed.

Suzy thought hard about it. “She’s… in here.”

“In this room?” Buck brought out his dowsing rods.

“Somewhere…” But she didn’t seem to know any more than that.

“That’s okay. That’s a good start.” It was a little awkward to hold the rods without disloging Suzy but Buck managed it. They swung aimlessly for a moment. Then crossed, pointing towards the closet in the corner. “Let’s see what we can find, hmm?”

Suzy went ahead of him, disappearing through the door. When Buck opened it he was greeted with a haphazard pile of sports equipment, clearly shoved there for lack of a better space.

“A bit messy in here huh?”

It took a few minutes of shifting things around, but eventually Buck came across a corner of carpet that was rucked up against the wall. Underneath was the real version of Milly. He picked it up, feeling the thrill of cold energy that slid down his forearm. Definitely a trigger object. Now that it was real he could see the little scrapes and the slightly skewed fin. Milly was certainly a well loved little dolphin.

“Alright.” Buck said triumphantly. “You wanna come for a ride with me in a firetruck?” He hoped he could keep her happy and distracted until it came time to send her on to the other side.

“Okay.” Suzy agreed easily. She had to be the most docile and trusting poltergeist Buck had ever come across.

She put up her arms and Buck could have cried at how cute the move was. Instead he carefully gathered her into his arms and stood, slinging the mage kit over his other shoulder. They stepped out of the office.

Buck paused in surprise as he caught sight of Eddie sitting on the top step. He had his arms folded across his knees, fingers drumming against his thighs as he waited.

“Hey.” Buck said.

Eddie’s head popped up in response and he got to his feet. His gaze swept over Buck as though he was scanning for injuries. It was something Eddie had been doing often recently, ever since the incident with the glass. His eyes flickered over where Suzy sat against Buck’s arm, though he probably couldn’t see her as well as Buck could. She was only really visible to Eddie at all because she had latched on to Buck’s energy.

“Ready to go?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah.” He’d have to send a message to the owner about removing a ghost from his property, but that was a problem for later.

Bobby watched them come down the stairs, expression unreadable. It suddenly occurred to Buck that he probably needed permission from his captain before bringing a ghost child back to the station.

“Uh, Cap, this is Suzy.” He wasn’t sure how much Bobby could see her, especially without even the advantage of Eddie’s enhanced senses. “I was hoping to take her back to the station for a bit.”

Brows pulling together, Bobby tipped his head. “Don’t you need to…” Bobby glanced uncomfortably at Suzy as though not wanting to offend her. “Send her on or something?”

“It’s best to do that in the sunlight.” Buck explained, though he doubted it would make much sense to them. “She’ll be no trouble, I promise. Right kiddo?”

“No trouble.” Suzy echoed, though Bobby and Eddie wouldn’t be able to hear her.

“Alright.” With a decisive nod, Bobby gestured to the door. “Let’s load up and get out of here.”

-

It seemed like no one really knew how to deal with the fact that Buck had brought a ghost child into the station. But Buck was used to whispers and cautious looks. So he just ignored everyone else and took Suzy on a tour of the station.

She was shy, leaning into his shoulder for most of it. But she watched with rapt attention as Eddie ran through some of the demonstrations they usually did for groups of visiting school children.

Not long after, Hen and Chim brought the ambulance back from their trip to the hospital. They both looked curiously at the show Eddie was putting on.

“Buck picked up a stray.” Bobby told them, voice kind of fond. “Apparently the ghost from the house is a little girl.”

“Oh.” Hen said, sounding sad and sympathetic.

So for the rest of the shift, his team helped to entertain Suzy. It was unexpected, given they could hardly see her and couldn’t hear her at all. But Buck relayed anything she said and the team treated her as they would any child that came in to the station.

Buck was made the man behind, so when the others had to respond to a call he went to sit with Suzy on the sofa and talked quietly with her. She knew a lot about dolphins, so he happily sat through her impromptu lecture about her favorite animal.

By the time the sun began to rise and the end of their shift ticked closer, Buck almost wished they had more time. But it was best for Suzy to move on, to be at rest and find out what was on the other side. Buck had to leave her on the sofa for a bit so he could go and get changed into his civilian clothes, the rest of the team arriving just as he did.

“Are you going to… send Suzy on or…?” Chim asked, discomfort warring with his usual curiosity when it came to anything magical.

“Yeah. She deserves to be at peace. There’s a nice place I know to do it.” Buck told him with a smile. It was heartwarming how much care his coworkers had shown to a little ghost girl they could hardly see.

“I have to pick up Christopher.” Eddie said reluctantly. “But- I could ask Abuela to-”

Buck shook his head. “It’s fine, you should go get Chris. I bet he’s excited to see you. You’ve all done more than enough, I can take it from here.”

Eddie seemed unconvinced. “You shouldn’t have to do it alone…”

“I’ll come.” Bobby offered, quiet but sure.

“You- don’t have to…” Buck said weakly, surprised.

“I know.” Bobby said simply. “I will anyway.”

Buck blinked hard, ignoring the threatening burn of tears. “Alright then.”

“Do you want to come over after?” Eddie offered. “Chris would love to see you too.”

If Buck was being honest with himself, that sounded incredible. Just about anything was better than going back to his tiny apartment alone, but getting to hang out with Eddie and Chris was a real treat. “That sounds great. I’ll text you.”

With that settled, they all went up to the loft so Hen, Chim and Eddie could say goodbye to Suzy. They all knew better than to get attached to the people they helped, given their line of work. But still, sometimes they just couldn’t help themselves. Buck could see the shine of tears in all of their eyes as they smiled and said goodbye. Suzy tucked herself back against Buck’s chest and waved at them.

Eventually it was just Buck and Bobby left, as B shift started on breakfast.

“I’ll drive?” Bobby offered.

It meant Buck wouldn’t have to let go of Suzy just yet, so he nodded gratefully. “I’ll give you the directions.”

Chapter Text

There was a pretty little tucked away spot Buck had found on one of his many solo walks since coming to LA. Maybe he should have learned his lesson about hiking alone, but he tried to avoid the more difficult trails at least. But private spots in the great outdoors were few and far between in the greater LA area, so Buck went out there when he wanted to think and recharge. He didn’t get as much from connecting with nature as an elemental mage would, but it did help to settle him at least.

Buck gave Bobby directions as Suzy sat in his lap staring out the window with rapt interest. Every now and then she asked about something and Buck gave her answers, but for the most part she seemed content to just look. From her questions, Buck gathered she couldn’t have been dead more than maybe ten years. She was at least familiar with most of what she was seeing.

If she were older Buck would be asking her more questions, trying to work things out. But she was so young, and had clearly suffered enough already. She deserved a peaceful few hours before he had to send her on.

When they reached the trail, Buck turned to Bobby. “You don’t have to come with. Some people find sending rituals kind of… unsettling?”

Though this one should be easier than most, if Suzy wasn’t resistant to it.

“I’ll carry your kit.” Bobby said, taking it out of the back of his car and shouldering the weight of it. “If it gets too much I’ll meet you back here.”

“Alright.” Buck said easily, because he didn’t mind not having to lug his kit up the trail.

It was a strange procession, the three of them. Suzy was completely content to be carried so Buck didn’t bother putting her down. They talked, Bobby doing his best to talk to Suzy despite not being able to hear her. For a while it felt like a friendly hike, like there was nothing strange going on at all.

Then they reached their destination.

It didn’t have the view that the other trail did. Just a clearing in the brush with spindly trees hanging over. Little wildflowers dotted the ground. It wasn’t anything much to look at, but Buck loved the energy of the place. It just felt… calm.

“Here we are. Thanks Bobby.” Buck said as Bobby put the kit down in arms reach.

“No problem. Well then miss Suzy.” Bobby did a pretty good job of trying to meet her gaze, given he probably couldn’t even see an outline of her in the bright sunlight. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“He’s nice too.” Suzy said hand drifting in the air like she was going to reach out to him.

“She says you’re nice.” Buck relayed for Bobby.

“That’s very kind of you. I hope wherever you go, you’re very happy.” Bobby gave her a pained smile and stepped back.

“Go?” Suzy looked up at Buck.

“Yeah kiddo.” Buck sat on the floor, propping her against his leg again. “Time for you to move on.”

“I can’t stay here.” It was a statement, not a question. Most ghosts instinctively understood the idea of moving on from this world to something else.

“No.” Buck agreed solemnly.

Suzy looked up at him, big eyes pleading. “Will you look after Milly?”

In that moment Buck would have promised her just about anything. But that was a very easy promise to give. “I will. I’ll put her on my shelf so she can look out the window.”

“She’ll like that.”

“I bet.” Buck had to clear his throat against the emotion building there. “Now then, let’s get started.”

As a death mage, one of the things Buck had been asked to do many times in his life was deal with spirits. It was a kind of magic that technically could be done by any mage. Or even someone without magic, if they really knew what they were doing. Some people made their careers doing it. But the average person didn’t want to get anywhere near the Grey, it was simply too risky.

So the ceremony Buck set up was familiar to him. The most important part of this particular ritual would be keeping Suzy calm and happy so she could move on without issue. He hoped, a little desperately, that there was someone on the other side who would care for her.

But ultimately, he just didn’t know. For all the time he’d spent close to the Grey, the veil between worlds, he didn’t actually know what was beyond it. That was the domain of the dead and the gods.

He set Milly down on the ground in front of them and turned to Suzy. “We’re going to send a little prayer to Nathaira so she knows to expect you, alright? Would you like to help?”

Buck was aware of Bobby’s eyes on him but he resolutely ignored that.

“Okay.” Suzy sat forward, waiting for instruction.

Buck took her through it, Suzy obediently repeating what she was told to say. Bobby didn’t join in on the prayer, given it wasn’t his religion, but he did bow his head respectfully. Buck appreciated the gesture.

With that done, all that was left was the ritual itself.

“Okay Suzy. Are you ready?”

Standing up, she was about the same height as he was sitting on the floor. She reached her ghostly hand out and pressed it to his cheek. “Thank you.”

Buck smiled at her. “You’re very welcome.”

Then Suzy went to stand in front of Milly, and Buck began the ritual.

The Grey swelled. Buck pulled on it, showed Suzy the way.

And then she was gone.

Buck took a breath that shuddered all the way through him. She was such a sweet little thing, he shuddered to think what could possibly have happened to tie her to the world so powerfully. But wherever she was now, she was at rest.

He looked at the little metal dolphin - Milly - and picked it up. Buck didn’t exactly make a habit of keeping trigger objects, but this was very much the exception. He knew just where to put her.

“You alright?”

Buck turned. He’d half forgotten Bobby was there. “Yeah.” He sighed. With tired hands, he packed up what was left of the ritual. Some components were consumed, but others could be used again.

When he was done, Bobby offered him a hand up. The contact, a warm, living hand against his, was so unexpectedly alien that Buck had to take his hand back the moment he was on his feet. Much as he wanted more contact, it was too overwhelming in that moment. He swayed, just a little. He needed a moment to drag himself fully back to the living.

“Buck?” Bobby asked.

“M’okay.” Buck said. “Just- give me a sec.”

He felt kind of thin and insubstantial. Was that how ghosts felt? Part of him wondered whether he should just go home so Eddie and Chris didn’t have to see him like this- it would only worry them. But the idea of going back to his empty loft when he had another option was awful.

Silently taking the magic kit again, Bobby waited for Buck to collect himself. Buck wanted to protest that he could carry his own kit back down, but he could already tell that was an argument he wasn’t going to win.

They made their way back down the trail more slowly than they’d come up it, back to Bobby’s car.

Buck’s mind drifted as Bobby drove, falling towards the Grey. It was a little like trying to keep himself from falling asleep, constantly jerking awake every time his head fell too far forward. It was a good thing Bobby was the one driving, because Buck was pretty sure he would have caused an accident by now if he’d tried.

The car came to a stop and Buck blinked at his surroundings. They were at Eddie’s house already.

“You sure you’re alright?” Bobby asked, concern coloring his tone.

“Yeah.” Buck managed to give him a smile. “I’ll be fine.” He always was.

As he climbed out of the car, he got the feeling Bobby would be protesting if Buck wasn’t going to Eddie’s place. Eddie was just as likely as Bobby to call bullshit if Buck claimed to be alright when he clearly wasn’t.

Standing up straight, Buck tried to seem totally fine. “Thanks for the ride Bobby. See you next shift.”

The silence stretched between them just long enough to make Buck fidget nervously. Finally Bobby said, “Take care of yourself, yeah?’

Buck just nodded, feeling off balance for several different reasons. “Yeah.”

Then the front door opened and the odd moment broke. Bobby gave Eddie a friendly wave before pulling away.

“You coming in?” Eddie asked, sounding amused.

It was only then Buck realized he was standing in the drive staring into nothing. “Hmm? Yeah.”

Watching him approach, Eddie frowned at him. “You good?”

“I…” The usual ‘I’m fine’ got stuck in his throat. He just sighed.

Eddie stepped back, letting Buck into the house. He glanced behind him as though checking for Christopher. “Did you… send Suzy on?”

“I did.” Buck said softly.

“Must have been hard.” Eddie matched his tone.

After all the ghosts Buck had dealt with, it shouldn’t have affected him. He’d even sent on child spirits before. But this one… Buck just nodded.

Eddie pulled him into a hug. Buck melted into it, he couldn’t help it. The contact was just too good. Now he was a little more present he could actually appreciate it.

“Woah.” Eddie had to take a step back to steady them as Buck’s weight pressed into him.

“Sorry.” Buck murmured, trying to stand up straight again.

“Are you hurt?” Eddie asked, pulling back far enough to look at Buck without letting go of his shoulder, already slipping into medic mode.

“No.” Buck shook his head and regretted it. “Not hurt. Just… a little magic sick. Too much Grey.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes at the way Buck was still leaning into the hand on his shoulder. Despite his attempt to straighten up Buck just couldn’t help but chase Eddie’s touch.

“Does contact help?” As usual, Eddie could see right through him.

“Yeah. Works best if it’s someone I care about.” The last bit just kind of tumbled out, too honest.

The usual way he dealt with the issue - one night stands - were really more of a temporary stop gap than an actual solution. He just didn’t have anything else. Casual sex was enough to steady him, make him functional. But it didn’t really help the way a hug from Maddie had as a kid.

“Hmm. Alright.” With his hands on Buck’s shoulders, Eddie steered him to the couch. “Wait there.”

Unprotesting, Buck flopped onto the couch and laid his head back. His hands were numb with the Grey, he stretched out his fingers one by one trying to get the feeling back. A simple sending shouldn’t have affected him at all really. But the death vision he’d done for the detective was having a longer impact than he’d realize. He probably should have waited at least a week before getting anywhere near the Grey again.

A minute later, a cry of “Buck!” heralded Christopher’s appearance from his bedroom.

“Hey Buddy!” Buck lifted his head, ignoring the way his vision grayed out at the edges.

Chris made his way across the room slowly, until he was close enough to fling himself at Buck. Catching him easily, Buck wrapped his arms around Chris and held him close.

He was warm and alive and right there, giggling into Buck’s neck.

“Dad said you needed a hug.” Chris said through a smile.

“Yeah bud I really did. And a Chris hug is the best of all.” Already his hands were tingling with feeling.

Buck felt alive and real in a way he’d forgotten how to in the last week.

Buck clung to Chris until he squirmed and complained, so Buck let him go. Luckily Chris didn’t go far, just tucking himself into Buck’s side so he could see the TV.

“Can we watch the Clone Wars?” Chris looked up at Buck hopefully.

“Ah-” Buck wasn’t sure what the plan for the day was.

Then Eddie appeared carrying a loaded plate of snacks that he placed on Buck’s lap. “I’ll get it set up. You-” he pointed at Buck. “Eat. I bet you haven’t today.”

Buck realized belatedly that Eddie was right. He’d managed to eat while they were on shift, but before that he hadn’t for a couple days. Whenever Buck got caught up in his own magic he had a tendency to forget about food as a concept.

Taking a pretzel, Buck crunched into it as Eddie sorted out the TV. Then Eddie sat directly beside him. They were pressed together from shoulder to knee and Buck couldn’t help but melt further into it. Luckily Eddie didn’t seem to mind.

With Chris on one side and Eddie on the other, Buck felt like he was dreaming. Only, even his dreams didn’t usually turn out this well for him, they usually strayed more towards nightmares.

He’d once been told he had a low bar for what he expected out of life but this felt pretty incredible. For a death mage, Buck was really reaching for more than he probably should.

Chapter Text

Eddie tidied the kitchen to the sound of Buck and Chris arguing playfully in the living room over Super Smash Bros. Allegations of cheating were being tossed back and forth as they yelled at one another. He was half tempted to tell them to keep it down. But he was mostly pleased that shouting wasn’t something that Chris feared, but something that was done in excitement. Buck was a big guy and Eddie had seen first hand that he could be intimidating when he wanted to be. But Eddie got the feeling Buck would probably cry if he ever actually scared Chris.

Buck seemed much better than he had when Bobby dropped him off that morning. His color was better, less chalk white more healthy pink. And the weird glassy look in his eyes had cleared up. Apparently two hours of cuddling with Chris and a good lunch had worked wonders.

It was unclear to Eddie whether Buck’s ability to bounce back should be a relief or a concern. Of course, it was good that Buck was feeling better, Eddie never wanted him to suffer. But it was as though Buck thought it didn’t matter how hurt he was or how awful he felt. Why should he care if he had a gut wound the size of his hand, as long as he could keep moving?

What Eddie would do with the same insane ability to heal, he wasn’t sure. He’d certainly pushed too far with his own accelerated healing on occasion. Wolves healed faster than most people, though Eddie would heal better if he wasn’t using wolfsbane. He would also be able to shift at will but that just wasn’t a priority at the moment.

But what Buck could do was on a whole other level. And Eddie had the feeling they’d seen only a fraction of what he was truly capable of. It was unclear whether all death mages were like that, or if Buck was just especially powerful.

So caught up in his thoughts, Eddie didn’t notice the argument had descended into giggles and then silence. Until Buck appeared with two empty glasses to add to the dishwasher.

“Who won?” Eddie asked with a smile.

“Chris. Again. I need more practice.” Buck admitted with a sheepish smile. “I put up a good fight this time though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” leaning against the counter, Buck gestured broadly with his hands. “It was actually close this time! He’s in there practicing now.”

Eddie glanced into the living room, making sure Chris was intent on the game and paying them no attention. If Buck got an idea of how excited Chris might be, he would probably insist on going whether he felt well enough or not.

“Y’know, I was thinking - if you’re up for it - we could take Chris out somewhere this afternoon. Use some of those winnings like you suggested.”

Immediately Buck lit up with interest. “Yeah?”

“I figured you could pick the place? You know more about LA than I do.” Truthfully Eddie hadn’t even bothered to look it up, figuring Buck would be able to tell him more than a quick internet search could.

“Oh, there’s a ton of options around here. What were you thinking?”

Eddie shrugged. “Somewhere that’ll wear him out.”

“Hmm.” Buck’s mouth twisted as he thought about it. “Oh has Chris been to the children’s museum yet?”

“Nope.” It was only since working at the 118 that Eddie had the combination of time, energy and money required to actually take Chris out to places like museums. Previously Eddie had done his best to make the park or staying home seem exciting. Things had been a little tight when they’d first moved. Now he was hardly flush with cash but they were stable. Enough that when he’d won the money from the bet he could put it aside to be used only for fun things.

Buck continued, warming to the subject. “They have some really cool interactive exhibits. I mean, I haven’t actually been there because, y’know, I don’t have a kid. But I read an article about it and it looks awesome. I bet Chris will love it.”

Judging by the way he was talking, Buck would probably love it just as much.

“Sounds good to me. Why don’t you go sell the idea to Chris?”

“Sure!”

It didn’t take much selling. Chris was pretty much on board when he saw how excited Buck was.

They made it to the museum in good time, given LA traffic. Eddie paid for the tickets while Chris and Buck looked at the advertisements for the exhibits inside.

“They have an exhibit about magic!” Chris said excitedly, pointing to the sign.

“That’s new.” Buck commented.

“Can we see that first?”

“Hmm, let’s follow the museum trail. I think the magic is last.” Buck put his hands on Chris’ shoulders and gently steered him towards the beginning of the museum trail.

Chris was given a little passport to collect stamps from each room, though Eddie hung onto it so Chris could focus on using his crutches.

Sure enough, the place was full of interactive exhibits. There were buttons to push and levers to throw. A miniature town that was ruffled by a tiny tornado and play pieces that could be connected together to create different chemical structures. Eddie alternated between joining in and standing back to watch. Every question Chris had, Buck either had an answer or found one for him.

Eddie loved his son and adored spending time with him. But he could admit it was nice to stand back and let someone else have the reins for a little bit.

“There it is!” Chris headed straight for the magic exhibit the moment he caught sight of it.

The hall was evidently a place where they rotated out different displays, none of it was permanent. It had been split into four segments, each of them representing an element. Chris headed straight for the water section first.

There were attendants at each station, keeping things moving. But they were also mages of the corresponding magic demonstrating their abilities for the kids. The tickets had been expensive but at least they were getting their money’s worth.

Chris watched with rapt attention as the mage dispersed a pool of water into steam, then condensed it back down. Technically these were things any mage could do, but it was a good way to show where they got their magic from.

There were also posters showing notable mages from each element and detailing their accomplishments. But most of the kids were too enthralled by the magic to bother with all that.

For the first time at the museum, Buck was the one hanging back. He watched the mage but didn’t approach. Eddie figured it was his turn to take point anyway.

They made their way through the elements. The earth mage sculpted clay into different animals as requested by the kids. The air mage spun colored ribbons around in complicated patterns and conjured puffs of smoke. The fire mage juggled fire - the kids weren’t allowed to get too close to her.

“Look!” Chris pointed to a darkened doorway off to the right.

“Huh.” Buck said mildly.

The side over the arch proclaimed the exhibit to be ‘The Magic Of Death’ in a font made up of cartoon bones. A smaller sign to the left warned of darkened hallways and flashing light, advising that guests could skip this part of the exhibit by taking the archway to the left.

Eddie looked over at Buck, trying to gauge his reaction. Though he didn’t exactly seem excited the way he had for the previous exhibits, there was no reluctance to his posture as he followed Chris towards the dark archway.

Apparently they’d decided on a haunted house vibe for this part of the exhibit. They’d set up blacklights for most of it, with small spotlights over the information posters. There was even eerie music playing, Eddie was halfway surprised they hadn’t shelled out for a fog machine.

The theming did make a certain amount of sense. It played into the focus on death and the morbid fascination some kids had with things like that. But as he watched Buck take it all in with a wryly amused smile, it all felt so beyond tacky.

There was an attendant in this exhibit too.

“Welcome!” He said grandly, waving his hands to encompass the small group that gathered around him. “Welcome to the valley of death! Here we explore the mystery of the death mages.”

The kids watched him with rapt attention.

“Now, not much is known about the death mages. They’re a very secretive bunch. But some people say that they take their magic from the very life essences of people just before they die.”

Buck snorted derisively under his breath. “Bullshit.”

“So, let me show you some examples of the power death mages wield.” The guy began leading the group through the exhibit.

It only took Eddie a moment to realize Buck wasn’t moving with them. He turned and found Buck staring at a black and white photo of what looked like a blast crater. The caption underneath said ‘Beltway proving ground, 1941. Testing camp levelled by rogue death mage.’

“Buck?” Eddie asked warily, nudging his shoulder with his own.

The blacklight cast strange shadows across Buck’s face as he tapped the edge of the picture. “This was an experiment. Scientists trying to turn death mages into weapons they could use in the war.”

“And… It didn’t work?” Eddie prompted.

“Oh it worked.” Buck laughed dryly. “But we’re pretty volatile. Don’t take well to being caged.”

Eddie frowned. The caption didn’t actually claim anything false, but it was certainly implying the camp had been destroyed through malice. “Shouldn’t it say that then?”

Buck shrugged and turned away, following the rest of the group. He said nothing else as they moved through the posters.

It opened out into one last exhibit, about life mages. Posters proclaimed the many great things they had done, with yet another attendant waiting to explain things.

Buck seemed disinclined to even step inside. But they were near the end of the trail, and therefore near the museum cafe.

“Hey.” Eddie said softly. “Why don’t you go get us some drinks. We’ll join you in a minute.”

With a nod, Buck disappeared off. Eddie couldn’t say he had that much interest in learning about life mages, but he scanned the posters idly. He’d been in the army when the last life mage died, so he missed most of the fuss about it. Some people had observed a minute of silence on the day of her death, but Eddie hadn’t bothered.

“Dad?”

“Yeah bud?” Eddie turned to Chris.

“Why are life mages so rare?”

Eddie sighed. “No one knows. Some people have theories, but the truth is no one knows for sure.”

Frowning, Chris nodded, looking around at the displays. “Is Buck okay?”

“Yeah he’s fine.” Eddie ran his hand affectionately over Chris’ curls. “Wanna go meet him at the cafe?”

“Yeah let’s go.” Chris forged ahead, crutches clacking.

Buck had drinks waiting for them when they found him at the cafe. Coffees for Eddie and Buck, apple juice for Chris.

“Buck?” Chris asked as they got settled. “Do death mages really use life um…”

“Essence?” Buck supplied. “No. That’s not where death magic comes from.”

“So he was lying?” Chris tipped his head, confused.

Shaking his head, Buck smiled at Chris. “Not lying exactly. They just don’t have the right information. He doesn’t know it’s not true.”

“So what is true?”

Eddie watched the conversation closely, ready to curb Chris’ curiosity if need be.

Buck leaned in so it wouldn’t be overheard. “Well, I can tell you. But don’t go telling everyone else okay?”

“It’s a secret?” Chris asked.

“Ah-” Uncertain, Buck looked at Eddie.

It was appreciated, Eddie didn’t like encouraging Chris to keep secrets. “It’s not a secret just… not something everyone needs to know. Most people don’t like death mages very much, so they don’t get to know about them.”

It was an awkward explanation, but Buck nodded at him so he figured it would do.

“Right. So, do you know what the Grey is?” Buck began.

“The Grey?” Tilting his head, Chris gave Buck his full attention.

“We call it the Veil.” Eddie supplied. “The Veil between worlds.”

“Yeah that’s it. The Grey, or the Veil, lingers on the edge of our world. When someone dies, the Grey reaches out to move them on to the next world. That’s where my power comes from.” Buck spoke with his hands, sketching vague shapes.

“So… you’re more like a Grey mage than a death mage.” Chris said slowly.

Smiling now, Buck nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

When they were all done with their drinks, they moved outside to the play area. Much of it was accessible, meaning Eddie could let Chris have free range. He tried to give Chris as much independence as he could, to make up for the times when Chris needed more help than most kids.

Buck and Eddie chose a bench with a good view of the play space so they could keep an eye on him.

“You know, we could probably get that information fixed. They shouldn’t be spreading it if it’s false.” Eddie suggested.

Buck shook his head. “Nah it’s fine. Besides, the Mortis encourages disinformation.”

That wasn’t something Eddie was familiar with. “The Mortis?”

“The closest thing we have to a governing body, but global. They work with the mage councils but don’t answer to them.”

“Huh. And they encourage disinformation?” Everything Eddie learned about death mages only caused more questions.

Buck gave an expansive shrug, gaze on where Chris was playing with some other kids. “It’s for the best. The less people know about us, the harder it is to do shit like they were trying with those experiments. If they’re determined enough the information is out there, but…”

“People try that often?” Even the little Buck had said suggested these experiments were likely inhumane.

“Ah, not so much these days. We’re just too volatile, hard to control. But sometimes people try their luck anyway.” Buck was casual about it, but there was an undercurrent of tension to his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” Eddie said, because what else was there to say to that?

“Hmm. I’m gonna go push Chris on the swings.” Standing, Buck offered him one last smile before he walked away.

Watching him go, Eddie wondered when he was going to stop learning heartbreaking things about Buck. Somehow he got the feeling it wouldn’t be any time soon.

Chapter Text

Eddie leaned past Buck to look out the fire engine window as they pulled up to the scene. The apartment fire had properly taken hold and spilled out of three windows as they piled out of the engine. Close on Buck’s heels, Eddie joined the team as they grouped around Bobby. He checked the closures on his turnouts automatically. Like a ritual, he always put them on in the engine and checked them when he was standing up.

“Alright!” Bobby called to his team. “Dispatch tells me we still have civilians inside. Buck, Eddie I want you in there clearing them out. The 133 is going to be joining us for back up but until they get here it’s on us. Carter, Jackson, get those hoses running. Chim, Hen, I want you prepped for burns and smoke inhalation, we’ll set up triage over there.”

Bobby had barely finished speaking and the team was already moving. They were a well oiled machine, all the parts fitting together with ease.

This time Buck took point as they approached the building. Without ever really talking about it they’d settled into a pattern where they took turns going first. Eddie had gone first at the last scene, Buck went first on this one. The fire had started on the third floor and was quickly spreading, so they thudded up the stairs in sync.

The apartment building was in chaos, but it was a familiar kind of chaos. Most of the civilians were walking, so for the most part all they had to do was direct people down the stairs towards the rest of the 118. Almost all the front doors hung open and abandoned in the wake of the evacuation, it seemed the building had a good alarm system at least.

As they went they pounded on the doors that were still closed, pausing every few minutes to listen out for any shouts for help. That was more Eddie’s job than Buck’s, with his enhanced senses.

The heat ramped up as they got closer to the source of the fire. Then Eddie caught noise coming from up ahead.

“Sound from that apartment!” Eddie yelled, pointing. It was impossible to distinguish what exactly it was, but it certainly didn’t sound like the roar of fire Eddie was used to.

Without hesitation, Buck turned and jammed his foot into the door just by the lock. It fell open under a single hit.

Inside, the main room of the apartment looked to be some kind of workshop, though it was hard to tell with all the smoke. There were boxes and tools all over the place.

“LAFD call out!” Buck yelled.

“What is all this?” Eddie yelled back, trying to get a good look at what filled the shelves. He had a bad feeling.

“Model trains!” Barely hesitating, Buck moved around the shelves.

Judging by the sheer heat of the room, the fire would be eating through the far wall in minutes. The sound came again but it was odd, like a pop.

“There!” Pointing, Buck moved towards the back room.

Eddie followed without thought- but that sound wasn’t a person.

“Wait- Buck-” Eddie tried, not fast enough.

Buck took another step. There was another pop.

“Buck!” Eddie launched himself across the room. He dug into his usually ignored preternatural abilities, covering the distance in less than a second.

Colliding with Buck, they went down hard. Hitting the floor with a thud that knocked the wind out of both of them.

The room exploded.

Pressure burst across Eddie’s back and he hid his face against Buck’s shoulder, mask tight against his turnouts. They lay there for a moment as the whole building shook and fire roared like a beast around them.

But there was no time.

Groaning, Eddie tried to get up. “Gotta go.” He gritted out.

“You’re hurt.” Buck gasped, hands pressing to Eddie’s sides to keep him still.

And- oh. With all the adrenaline it didn’t hurt yet, but something was wrong.

“Stay still.” Buck ordered.

Not the easiest thing to do while lying on top of Buck in a burning building, but he tried.

Moving his hands to Eddie’s back, Buck warned, “This is going to hurt.”

Despite having no clue what Buck planned on doing, he didn’t care. Eddie trusted Buck implicitly. “Just do it.”

Pain spiked and Eddie gritted his teeth, shuddering. Buck wasn’t fucking kidding. Then there was a cool, tingling sensation and the pain settled into an awful dull throbbing. It was Buck’s magic, Eddie would know that feeling anywhere.

“Thought you couldn’t heal people.” Eddie gritted out as Buck helped him sit up.

“Can’t. Just a bandage.”

Like what Buck had explained he did for himself. They got to their feet, Eddie leaning heavily into Buck. It was hard to tell how badly he was injured with Buck’s magic muddying the feeling, but it sure hurt like hell.

“Does it always hurt this much when you do it?” Eddie asked as they made their way out into the smoky corridor.

Ignoring the question, Buck used his free hand to press on his radio. “This is Buckley. Diaz is injured, we’re coming down now.” His voice was tight as he helped Eddie move.

“Copy that.” Bobby’s voice came back over the radio.

Though Buck had a couple inches on him in height, Eddie was still a big guy. But Buck had no trouble at all supporting almost all of his weight down the stairs. They passed a couple of guys from the 133, who just nodded when they saw that Buck had it handled.

Bobby was waiting for them as they stepped out. “How bad?”

“Bad enough to be benched. But I’ve got it covered.” Buck said quickly.

Turning, Bobby raised an eyebrow at Eddie. He just nodded, he was happy to let Buck deal with this rather than taking up a paramedic that could be of more use elsewhere.

“Our ambulance is over there. Get what you need from the back, Hen is around if you need assistance. Radio me if you need anything else.” Bobby patted Buck’s shoulder and sent them off, trusting that they had it handled. While they all knew to look out for Buck dismissing his own injuries, he didn’t play around when it came to the team.

Buck got what he needed from the ambulance easily, he knew the system of where everything was kept. Despite him not being a qualified paramedic, Hen had insisted on showing him thoroughly how to find everything. Eddie had watched with amusement as Hen told Buck she wasn’t about to let him fumble about when she inevitably asked him to get something for her.

They tucked themselves out of the way at the back of the 118 engine. Peeling Eddie’s gear off proved difficult as every movement made his back scream with pain. So Buck had to help him. Silently, Buck methodically began cleaning the blood from Eddie’s back.

“How bad is it?” Eddie asked, unable to twist and get a look at it. It certainly felt as though it stretched from shoulder to hip.

“Not that deep.” Buck said shortly. “Missed the vitals. Bones are fine.”

“Great.” That sounded better than he’d thought it would.

“Probably would have bled out if I wasn’t there.”

“Ah.” Eddie winced. “Thanks for the assist.”

“Why did you do that?” Buck asked, voice shaking.

Eddie had to turn around then. With some surprise, he realized that Buck was shaken. Eddie had watched Buck pull a shard of glass the size of his hand out of his own stomach without flinching. He threw himself into fires and off buildings with a smile.

But here, covered in soot and with a single black scratch across his cheek, Buck actually looked shaken.

Eddie frowned at him. “Because the room was about to explode?”

The look Buck levelled at him was almost angry. “I would have been fine.”

Eddie shook his head. “You’re not immortal, Buck.” For all that Eddie didn’t understand Buck’s powers, he at least knew that death mages could be killed if they were injured badly enough.

“But you got hurt.” Buck said it like it was simple, final, an end to the argument. Like Eddie getting hurt was the end of the world but Buck getting hurt was nothing at all.

“And you could have died.” Eddie argued back, not about to let this rest.

“So?”

Eddie stared at him. “So?” he echoed.

Buck shrugged dismissively. “I’m a death mage, Eddie. Comes with the territory.”

Something like panic fluttered in Eddie’s chest. “Buck you’re not- you’re not fucking- expendable.”

“I would have been fine Eddie. You shouldn’t have gotten in the way.” Buck wouldn’t look at him.

“I’m not just going to-” Eddie began, voice heated.

“Time to go boys.” Carter said, appearing around the side of the engine.

They fell silent, Buck taking a step back.

Carter looked between the two of them and Eddie could almost see the moment she decided she didn’t want anything to do with whatever they had going on. “You can have your domestic dispute back at the station. Cap says we’re done here.”

Eddie opened his mouth to protest that it wasn’t a domestic, but Carter was already gone.

“Come on.” Buck helped him put his ripped uniform shirt back on, it would do until they made it back to the station.

The ride back was tense. Everyone had picked up on the weird energy between Eddie and Buck, though as far as he was aware Carter was the only one who had actually heard any of their argument. Apparently no one wanted to get involved.

When they pulled into the station, Buck followed Eddie to the lockers. Turning, Eddie gave him a frown at just how close he was staying, like an overprotective bodyguard.

Buck sighed. “I have to stay close or your back will start bleeding again.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Like- indefinitely?”

“Just for a couple hours. Then it will be bound to you until I take it back.”

‘Take it back’ like it was an object, not magic.

“Right.” Eddie said as though he understood, though he didn’t.

“You should take some painkillers.” Buck said, taking them out of Eddie’s locker. He went for the strongest over the counter painkillers Eddie had been able to get his hands on, figuring they would come in handy.

Given that Eddie had forced him to take painkillers not that long ago, he didn’t bother arguing. Though to be honest, painkillers sounded pretty fucking good just then.

“So.” Eddie began because he wasn’t in the mood for silence. “I’ll have your magic on my back until it heals?”

Buck winced slightly. “Yeah. Unless you’d rather go to the hospital. I know it’s… weird.”

“I don’t have a problem with your magic Buck.” If anything he was kind of honored Buck would entrust Eddie with what was essentially a piece of himself. It felt significant in a way Eddie didn’t fully understand. “I just wish you’d be more careful.”

“Like you were today?” Buck shot back, almost petulant.

Eddie reached up and grabbed Buck’s shoulder, forcing him to look him in the eye. “When I said I had your back, I meant it okay? You’re my partner, I wasn’t going to just stand there and let you get hurt. I can’t do that- I won’t.”

Mouth twisting Buck’s eyes shone. “Eddie, I- I can’t just…”

“Buck that fear that you feel right now, that’s how we feel every time you throw yourself off a building. This goes both ways okay? You have my back, I have yours.” Eddie didn’t know how to drill it into Buck’s thick skull that he had people who cared about him, who didn’t want to see him hurt.

“But I can survive a lot more than you can.” Buck said stubbornly.

Eddie sighed, recognizing this wasn’t an argument that was going to be resolved that day. “I know.” He said it softly. “But if I can stop you from getting hurt, I’m going to. You’re just gonna have to accept that.”

Buck still looked distinctly unhappy and Eddie got the feeling this topic was far from laid to rest.

But eventually, Buck nodded. “Okay. I’ll try.”

Well, it was a start.

Chapter Text

Buck walked into work with more caution than usual, carefully balancing enough take out coffees for the shift. He had to use just a touch of magic to keep them stable.

Overall he felt better than he had in a while. He’d been making an effort to eat three square meals and get something close to the recommended amount of sleep. As it turned out, that kind of thing was much easier to do when there were people around him doing the same. People who actually noticed when he wasn’t looking after himself properly.

He even found, to his surprise, it wasn’t bothering him to have a piece of his magic missing. Though, whether that was because he was doing well, or because Eddie was the one his magic was latched on to, Buck couldn’t tell.

It wasn’t something that Buck did often. It was an intensely personal thing, allowing someone else to carry part of his magic around. Every death mage instinctively worked out how to heal themselves, but it was Alexandra that had shown him how to sever a little bit of his magic and use it for emergencies.

But something about it was intensely comforting. As long as Eddie carried his magic, Buck could tell that he was alive and well. He’d never actually let someone keep his magic long enough for it to stick so the constant awareness of Eddie in the back of his head was something of an adjustment.

“Here Buck, let me help with that.” Hen offered, taking the slightly precarious coffees from the top of the stack. “What’s the special occasion?”

“No special occasion.” Buck said happily. “Just wanted to do something nice.”

Hen gave him a look he didn’t know how to read, but then she just shook her head. “Of course you did. Well then, thank you very much.”

“I just hope I got everyone’s orders right.” Buck had tried to remember the previous time they ordered coffee. But his attention span wasn’t exactly the greatest most days. “I…” Buck trailed off, distracted.

Now that he’d dropped his own magic, he could tell there was something odd about the energy of the station. He looked around, searching for a source.

“You alright?” Hen asked.

“Yeah just…” It was always so hard to tell whether these odd feelings actually meant anything.

“Is something wrong?” Hen pressed.

“Not sure.” As they headed up to the loft Buck tried to focus on the feeling without tripping over his own feet.

“Ooh, coffee.” Chim rubbed his hands together in excitement and helped Buck unload the coffees onto the counter so he could check the labels for his order.

“Trying to butter us up for something?” Bobby asked with a smile as he and Eddie joined them by the counter.

“Hmm?” Buck glanced at him distractedly. “No- no buttering.” He said vaguely, still looking out over the firehouse.

“What’s up?” Eddie asked immediately, coming to stand by Buck.

Glancing over at Eddie, Buck asked, “Can you sense something weird?” He needed to know if he was just going crazy.

Eddie tilted his head, considering. “I can mostly just sense your magic. I’d need to be pretty close to pick magic up anyway.”

The longer he thought about it the more sure he got that something was wrong. Buck turned to Bobby. “Has another mage been here?”

Joining him at the railing, Bobby frowned. “Not as far as I’m aware. Is that an issue?”

“No, but it would explain the magic here. But it’s…” There was an odd taste in his mouth. Like…

A chill went down his spine. Sour metal. He knew that taste.

“Curse.” Buck said shortly, heading for the stairs with his long stride. The team trailed behind him like an entourage.

“A curse? In the station?” Hen asked incredulously.

“Who the hell would bring a curse into the station?” Chim asked.

“Might not be intentional. They latch on to things. People, items…” Now that Buck had identified it as a curse, it was easier to pinpoint the location. He headed for the lockers where a couple of the others from A shift were getting ready for the day.

“Okay everybody stay still.” Bobby ordered and everyone froze. “We have a curse in the station, I need you to stay where you are so Buck can find it.”

Feeling a little like a drug sniffer dog, Buck moved slowly around the locker room. The sour metal taste was almost choking now, it had to be a nasty curse. Then he came to a stop beside Greenmantle.

“You-” Buck reached towards him.

Greenmantle slapped his hand away sharply. “I told you to stay away from me, Issetik.” He hissed, low and venomous.

“Don’t fucking call him that.” Eddie growled, putting himself between Buck and Greenmantle.

“Alright!” Bobby barked. “Everybody else out. Greenmantle, Diaz, take a step back.”

The locker room cleared in moments but Hen and Chim stayed where they were by the door. Though Eddie obeyed the order to step back, he stayed in front of Buck and never took his eyes off Greenmantle.

“Buck, what is going on?” Bobby asked calmly.

“He has a curse on him, a bad one. I think it’s in something he’s wearing.” As he spoke Buck put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. He didn’t want anyone getting too close to Greenmantle and triggering the curse.

“Okay. Greenmantle-”

“Why are you always listening to him? How do you even know you can trust him? He’s dangerous.” Greenmantle burst out, like he’d been waiting to say it for days.

Despite knowing that Greenmantle had an issue with him, Buck hadn’t really expected him to be so open about it.

Bobby turned to Greenmantle, appraising him with a cool look. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

“Plenty of people do. Just no one has the balls to say it because he’s your fucking pet.” Spitting the words, Greenmantle turned his gaze on Buck.

But he was unphased. The only thing he was surprised about in this interaction was how long it had taken to actually happen. This was more how he’d expected to be greeted when he first joined.

“Buck is a member of our team and deserves the same treatment and trust as anyone else. If you disagree with that, perhaps it’s time to talk about a transfer.” It was a very good thing Bobby was there, because Eddie was practically vibrating with the urge to deck Greenmantle.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about. No one wants to say anything, you’re always going to take his side!” Petulantly, Greenmantle jabbed a finger at Buck.

Eddie growled softly.

“Enough.” Bobby snapped. “This is an issue that isn’t going to be resolved here. But if you do have a cursed item, we need to deal with it now.”

Rolling his eyes, Greenmantle reached under his collar and pulled out a necklace. “It’s not a curse. It’s a talisman to ward off mages.”

Buck choked on air, stepping back. That was no talisman, it was a magic eater. The kind of thing that could kill an unsuspecting mage, someone not trained in curse seeking. Getting hit with one of them was a singularly painful experience he was not keen on repeating.

“Buck?” Eddie asked softly.

“It’s a magic eater.” He choked out, just loud enough for others to hear.

Greenmantle scoffed but Bobby turned to Chim.

“Get a containment box.” Bobby ordered.

For once, Buck was perfectly happy to step back and let someone else deal with it. He and Eddie were the only ones who could be affected by it. Wolves didn’t have anywhere near as much magic in them as a mage but it was enough to be targeted. Every living being had a certain amount of magic in them, but most people didn’t have enough to feed a magic eater.

“There’s no need for that captain, I-” Greenmantle complained.

“I think we’ve heard enough from you for today. We’ll hand it over to the mage unit to be assessed by a neutral party. For now, Greenmantle, you are the man behind and I don’t want you anywhere near Buck.” Bobby’s tone brooked no argument.

“Of course, sir.” Giving a mocking salute, Greenmantle dropped the necklace into the containment box Chim held. Then he unceremoniously shouldered his way out of the locker room.

As Chim snapped the box shut, Buck shuddered. If he’d reached out and grabbed that thing he’d have been out of it for days. Magic eaters were rare enough it hadn’t even occurred to him that Greenmantle could have gotten his hands on one.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Bobby sighed. “Sorry Buck, but I have to follow protocol here. I get the feeling we’re going to need a chain of evidence when Greenmantle starts causing problems.”

Buck put his hands up. “No problem here. I don’t want to touch that thing.”

Then Bobby frowned. “What was it he called you? That made Eddie angry.”

Buck opened his mouth to dismiss the subject, but Eddie beat him to it.

“It means abomination.” Eddie said flatly.

Bobby’s full attention snapped to Eddie. “What?”

“It also means death mage.” Buck had to interject before things could get out of hand. “He’s being an asshole about it, but he’s not technically saying anything wrong.”

“This-”

Bobby was cut off as the alarm rang. They would have to deal with it later.

-

At the end of the shift, Buck waited until Greenmantle was done changing before going in to the locker room. He was in no mood for the nonsense Greenmantle was insistent on creating. Buck wished they could have just kept ignoring each other.

“You still good for this evening?” Eddie asked as he came to stand beside Buck, apparently having the same idea about the locker room.

“Yeah.” They had finally found a good time where all their schedules lined up so Buck could do the magic check ups for the kids. Somehow Athena had gotten involved and now her children Harry and May were on the list as well. Though May was almost old enough to age out of needing the check ups, apparently Athena had insisted. Which had then evolved into the whole thing taking place at Athena’s house.

So Buck was determined to be on his absolute best behavior and make sure everything went smoothly.

“Great.” Eddie gave him a reassuring smile, as though he could tell just how nervous Buck was about the whole thing. “See you there.”

-

Parked outside Athena’s house, Buck took a deep breath and ran through his mental checklist again.

A knock on the window made him jump. Eddie grinned at him, nodding at the stuffed duffel bag on Buck’s passenger seat. “You moving in or what?”

Buck smiled sheepishly, opening the door. “It’s safer to do it with all the right components.” He might play things a little fast and loose when he was doing magic alone. But he would never endanger other people and especially not other people’s kids.

“Buck!” Chris said excitedly, appearing behind Eddie.

“Hey buddy!” Buck said with a grin. “You ready for your check up?”

“It always feels weird and tingly.” Luckily Chris didn’t seem particularly put out by that, just pointing it out.

“Yeah, magic’ll do that.” Buck agreed. “You want to help?”

Chris’ eyes widened behind his glasses. “I can?”

“Sure bud. I’d love your help.” He could definitely find something safe for Chris to do.

Buck carefully carried the duffel inside.

“Ah there you are Buck.” Athena said warmly. “Thank you for including us in this.”

“Of course.” Buck said easily. “I’m happy to help.”

With Buck and Eddie working together, they easily cleared enough space. Buck got Chris to help him set up, letting him place anything that wasn’t breakable. Hen arrived with Denny soon after and Athena went to get Harry and May from their rooms.

“Alright then, are we all ready?” Buck clapped his hands together and looked around. The boys seemed almost excited, but May seemed hesitant. “Who wants to go first?”

“I do!” Chris cried excitedly before anyone else could say a word.

“Alrighty then, step up to the plate.”

Moving to stand between Buck and the mirror he’d set up, Chris watched him expectantly.

“Okay then, put your hand in mine and we’ll get started.”

Carefully, Buck let his magic creep over Chris’ hand. He’s been worried about scaring the kid, but he didn’t have to worry. Chris watched with great excitement.

Sifting through the threads of Chris’ natural magic, Buck looked for anything that shouldn’t be there. Luckily, there was nothing nefarious. But what Buck did notice was Chris was getting very close to his first wolf shift.

It wasn’t something he and Eddie had spoken about, so Buck wasn’t sure what his traditions were around a first shift. For now, Buck kept that little tidbit to himself and smiled at Chris.

“Looks like you’re squeaky clean! Not too bad huh?”

“Your magic is so cool! Can you show me something else?” Chris asked enthusiastically.

Laughing, Buck shook his head. “Another day. Let me look after the others for now okay?”

“Okay.” A little put out, Chris swapped places with Harry.

Both Harry and Denny were much the same, nothing to worry about. When it came to May, though, she hesitated.

“Everything alright?” Buck asked, not knowing how to reassure her.

“Yeah.” She said as though trying to convince herself. Moving to stand in front of him, she bravely put out her hand.

Among the threads of her natural magic was a sliver of darkness. Not quite a curse, but something that would take hold and fester if allowed to.

“Did you find something?” Athena asked when he lingered over May’s hand.

“Just a little thread of something.” Buck said lightly. “Have you ever had a curse removed?”

May nodded, her expression going tight and unhappy.

“Alright, then you know what it feels like. I’ll be as gentle as I can okay? It’s only a little thing.” Buck said kindly.

For a moment, he thought May would balk. But she took a breath, squared her shoulders, and looked Buck in the eye. “Okay. Do it.” She really was her mother’s daughter.

He smiled at her. “Atta girl.”

With May’s determination backing him, it was one of the easier extractions he’d ever done. The darkness peeled away from her and coiled in his hand, where he crushed it like a bug.

“All done.”

“Well then, now that’s out of the way. Who’s ready to eat?” Athena asked with a clap of her hands.

As everyone headed for the kitchen, Buck lingered and packed up the components. Athena stopped by his side and looked at him with that piercing gaze of hers.

“Thank you Buck. I’ll remember that.” Was all she said, before joining the others in the dining room.

Buck grinned to himself. It was one of his favorite feelings in the world, being useful.

Chapter Text

Buck eyed the cards in his hand critically. “Okay Chris. I’ll trade you a coffee bean for that red bean.”

“No way!” Chris protested immediately. “A red bean is worth at least two coffee beans!”

“Oh, at least huh?” Grinning, Buck made a show of shuffling through his cards. “Well I only have one coffee bean so…”

“I can give you a coffee bean and a wax bean for that red bean.” Eddie offered.

Buck’s mouth dropped open. “Are you sniping my trade?”

Eddie shrugged, putting on an innocent expression. “If I have the better offer to give then…”

“You’re not even collecting red beans!” Buck protested.

But Chris didn’t care, he just tilted his head expectantly at Buck. “Do you have a better offer Buck?”

“Oh I see how it is. Well then, I can offer you a coffee bean and a blue bean.” Blue beans were better than wax beans, and Chris was actually collecting them.

“Hmm.” Chris stroked his chin in exaggerated thought. “Dad is that your final offer?”

Buck laughed, amazed at the way Chris was pitting them against one another to get a better deal. He got the distinct impression he and Eddie were going to regret teaching him to haggle like this.

“Well, I guess I can give you a coffee bean and two wax beans…” Eddie frowned at his cards.

“Okay Buck I’ll take the coffee and the blue.”

“Nice!” Buck handed over the cards and gleefully planted the red bean card in his red bean field.

The game continued, with deals made and debts paid.

When they came to the end of the game, they harvested their bean fields and counted up their gold. Somehow Buck and Eddie had gotten so caught up in sabotaging one another that they hadn’t even noticed Chris quietly racking up the points.

“I win!” Chris crowed after they’d all announced their point totals.

“Nicely done little man, you hustled us.” Leaning forward, Buck offered his hand up for a high five.

Giggling, Chris slapped his hand. “Let’s play again.”

Eddie shook his head as he stood. “Not tonight. It’s time for bed.”

“Ugh.” Chris protested. “But I’m not even tired though.”

Taking the hint, Buck gathered up the cards and shuffled them back into the box.

“Well, tired or not, it’s bedtime. Come on, let’s go pick what you want to read tonight.” Eddie was good at the ‘firm without being overbearing’ method of parenting.

“Can Buck read with us?” Chris asked plaintively. It was unclear how much he was asking because he wanted Buck there and how much he was just angling to stay up for longer.

Hands planted on his hips, Eddie turned to Buck. “What do you think?”

There were very few circumstances that would have him willingly turning down spending more time with Eddie and Chris. “Sure. I like story time. I bet your dad does the best voices.”

“He does!” Chris agreed, apparently happy to get moving now.

Waiting for Eddie to finish getting Chris ready for bed, Buck sat in Chris’ room and looked around. Even just looking at the decor, it was clear that Chris was so very loved. Everything in there was related to Chris’ interests, space, dinosaurs, gaming, all kinds of things. Even his bed sheets had dinosaurs on them.

Buck couldn’t help but compare it to his own childhood bedroom. The place could have been used as a movie set for a generic boys’ room. Full of things his parents had bought him in their occasional fits of parental guilt. But it had never actually reflected Buck’s interests beyond the few things Maddie had been able to get for him.

A title on the shelf caught his attention. It was an old book of fairy tales, one that Maddie had read to him from as a child. Picking it up, Buck thumbed through the slim volume. It held a few of the classics, in the original gory Grimm versions. He remembered staring at the sketchy watercolor illustrations in it for hours, completely fascinated.

“Mommy got me that book.” Chris said.

Buck jumped, not having heard them come in. He glanced guiltily at the book in his hands. “Yeah uh- I had the same one as a kid.” Maybe Shannon had too, and that was why she’d bought it for Chris. “Sorry-” Turning, Buck went to put the book back where he’d found it.

“Can you read me that one?” Chris asked, moving to stand in front of Buck.

With Buck sat on the edge of the bed and Chris stood up their eye lines were almost level. It was so hard to say no to the kid. Buck looked at Eddie. Despite looking sad, Eddie nodded his permission.

Wishing he’d kept his hands to himself, Buck smiled at Chris. “Sure. I’ll read it like Maddie used to for me. Why don’t you get snuggled in first?”

Chris climbed into bed and Eddie tucked him in.

“Alright. Let’s start at the beginning.” Buck opened the book.

The stories were short enough that he got through a couple quickly. Then he turned the page and came to a story he didn’t recognize.

The Man Who Met Death.

Buck frowned. He didn’t remember that one, even the illustrations weren’t familiar. Turning the book over, he checked the cover. It was definitely the same copy Buck had owned, with all the same illustrations…

“Buck?” Chris was sleepy now but he watched Buck with confusion.

Shaking his head, Buck went on reading. It told the story of a desperate man who made a deal with a death mage to save his ailing daughter in exchange for his service for ten years. Only, the man grew tired of serving the death mage after his daughter was healed, and he broke their deal. So the mage siphoned away his life force bit by bit, until he was only a husk that could do nothing other than serve the mage for the rest of his days.

Maddie had definitely never told him that story. He would have remembered. Had Maddie ripped the pages from the book?

Shaking it off, Buck continued to the next story. He got about halfway through before he realized Chris was asleep.

“Come on.” Eddie whispered.

Buck carefully put the fairy tales back where he’d found them and they crept from the room.

Once they were in the kitchen, Buck turned to Eddie. “I’m sorry- about the book, I shouldn’t have-”

Eddie waved away the apology, leaning against the kitchen counter as he rubbed at his face. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t talk about her. You want a beer?”

Buck accepted the beer and twisted the cap off.

“Honestly…” Eddie began slowly. “I’ve been thinking maybe I should let her see him.”

“”Yeah?” Buck couldn’t hide the surprise in his tone. The last time they’d talked about the possibility Eddie had seemed less than thrilled about the idea.

“I want to see her in person first, actually talk about it properly. We’ve both changed so much it’s… hard to tell if I even know her any more.”

“Well, seeing her face to face seems like a good first start.” Buck said slowly, wishing he could give more useful advice.

“But I’ve been struggling to find a time when we’re both free and I don’t have Chris.” He sighed. “Maybe I’m just procrastinating.”

“I can watch him.” Buck offered without really thinking about it.

Eddie looked at him. “Yeah?”

Belatedly, Buck remembered that as much as he’d been spending a lot of time with Eddie and Chris, he hadn’t actually looked after Chris on his own so far. There hadn’t really been a need to given that he and Eddie almost always worked the same hours.

Trying to seem like he wasn’t internally panicking, Buck just nodded. “Sure. I can take him out somewhere, distract him for a couple hours.” He could offer to take Chris back to his place, but his tiny apartment would almost certainly be stupidly boring for a kid. Buck didn’t even have a couch.

“That would be-” Eddie’s shoulders slumped as though the tension had fallen right out of them. “That would be great actually.”

“Just give me a time and I’ll be there.” Buck smiled.

They moved from the kitchen to flop on the sofa. Though Eddie didn’t bother to turn on the TV in the evenings until he was completely sure Chris was asleep.

“God, most days it feels like I’m just fumbling around in the dark when it comes to Chris.” Eddie sighed. “I just want to do what’s best for him but I just- I have no idea what that is.”

“I mean- from what I’ve heard, that’s how pretty much all parents feel.”

“I missed out on so much of his life. I want to make up for it- Be a good dad.” Eddie’s mouth pulled down at the corners.

Buck chewed the inside of his mouth. “I know- I know it doesn’t really mean anything coming from me- I’m not a parent. But as someone whose parents k-kind of sucked, I think you’re a great dad.”

Eddie just looked at him, eyes tired.

“Seriously Eddie. You listen to him. Take him seriously. You remember all his favorite things. You would do anything for him, but you’re firm when you need to be. And he fucking idolizes you. I think you’re doing pretty fucking well.”

“That means a lot, Buck. Thanks.” Eddie’s voice was just a little bit tight.

Looking down, Buck found himself toying with the label on his beer bottle.

Eddie chuckled after a moment, and it was only a little watery. “Guess that’s been on my mind for a while now.”

“I think the fact you worry about it so much is part of what makes you a good parent.” Buck said with a slight shrug. “I don’t think bad parents care that they’re being bad at it.”

“I hope so.” Then Eddie turned his intense eyes on Buck. Sometimes it felt like Eddie could read him like an open book. “You said it was Maddie that used to read the fairy tales to you.”

“Yeah. She read to me every night until I was ten. I asked for that book for months.” Though Buck tried to smile, he got the feeling it was more like a grimace.

“But you seemed kind of- surprised. By the one about the death mage.” Of course Eddie had picked up on that.

“Yeah. That- that story wasn’t in my copy. I think- I get the feeling Maddie might have ripped it out.” Buck could imagine her doing it.

“You think?”

“It was definitely the same edition. But I’ve never seen that story. I guess- she didn’t want me to see it.” A consideration his parents definitely wouldn’t have bothered with. Buck would have to ask her about it.

“She didn’t want you to feel like being a death mage was something bad.” Eddie guessed.

“Hmm.” A kind thought, but something Buck needed to learn. Maybe if he’d understood then just how dangerous he was things wouldn’t have…

“You said you left home when you were ten, right?”

“Yeah.” Buck nodded.

“That’s not that much older than Chris.” Eddie mused.

Buck’s breath caught in his throat. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.” The phantom sensation of blood drying on his hands pulled at his skin. They hadn’t let him wash his hands for hours.

The mere thought of it being Chris standing there with blood on his hands, Chris with wrists too small for the handcuffs they tried to put him in, Chris huddled in the corner of a holding cell, was dreadful.

“That must have been hard.” Eddie said, as though he too was thinking about the idea of Chris leaving home.

“I deserved it.” Buck whispered hoarsely.

“What?” Eddie asked, sitting up to look at him.

“It’s-” Buck shook his head. “No, I mean it was just for the best.”

“Buck I can’t imagine what a ten year old could have done to deserve-”

Buck shook his head, feeling a little sick and desperate not to talk about this. If Eddie couldn’t imagine it he just wasn’t being creative enough. “I- I can’t- don’t-”

Eddie subsided, watching Buck with a frown. “Buck-”

“I should go.” Buck said suddenly, standing.

“You don’t have to.” Eddie said softly.

It was tempting, to stay. Though he knew just how bad an idea that was. “No no- it’s late. And my m-magic gets- weird when I’m-” Upset. “I don’t want to - to hurt anyone.” He had to go. He was already moving for the door.

“Okay.” Eddie stood back and watched him go. “Text me when you get home safe?” It felt like more of a command than a request.

“Okay.” Buck said without really thinking.

Even in his panic, he remembered not to slam the door. Chris was sleeping.

Chapter Text

Evan missed Maddie. He always missed her. When he walked home alone. When he clumsily put together his own dinner and ate in silence. When he curled up in his bed and read the books that Maddie used to read to him.

He was ten years old. He was supposed to be more grown up than this. He didn’t need anyone, he could look after himself. He had to be able to look after himself.

But as he ran through the park as fast as his legs would carry him, he missed her more than ever.

“Come on Issetik! Too scared to face us?” The taunting voice of Garrett called behind him. Three sets of feet thudded against the ground in unrelenting pursuit.

Most of the kids at school feared Evan. They kept their distance, whispered about him under their breaths, shot him cautious looks. Everyone in Hershey knew that Evan Buckley was a death mage and that made him dangerous.

But in some people, fear presented itself as anger. Evan wasn’t old enough to understand that yet, not really. All he knew was that some of the kids truly hated him and they wanted him to know it.

Evan was fast, one of the fastest runners in his class… but not fast enough. Kyle slammed into him and they went down hard, sprawling in the dirt. There was no chance to scramble away, Kyle had a bruising grip on him.

Managing to twist onto his back Evan gasped, his magic already reacting. It coiled under his skin, ready to be used. Evan clamped down on it desperately. Alexandra had taught him that his magic was never to be used against other people, no matter what.

“Hold him!” Garrett ordered.

Kyle grabbed one arm and Terry the other, pinning him down. Garrett was the biggest of them. He caught up to them and landed on Evan’s chest, knee first.

Something inside him cracked. Evan screamed.

Garrett shoved a hand full of dirt against his face, mashing it into his mouth. Evan choked and gagged, wrenching his head to the side to escape it. The hand followed but Evan managed to suck in a breath only to choke again on loose dirt.

His chest burned. His head pounded. His eyes watered. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

The Grey crowded in around him, calling to him. Already familiar despite his youth.

“What’s wrong Issetik? Not so scary now huh?” Garrett taunted, putting more weight on Evan’s chest.

Evan lashed out.

His magic burst from him in deep black tendrils striking like angry snakes.

It was quiet.

Evan breathed. In. Out. It still hurt.

He stared at the grey sky.

The boys weren’t holding him down any more.

A scream split the air- not his.

Evan sat up.

There, a few feet away. Garrett. Lying on the ground. Covered in red.

The other boys stared at him in pure shock, neither moving.

Evan scrambled to Garrett’s side. Blood soaked the boys’ clothes. The dark stain growing and growing, through his t-shirt and his flannel. Evan pressed his hands to it, desperate and shaking.

“No- no I’m sorry.” He pressed down hard. Used his magic to keep the blood still. He could make it stop but he couldn’t make it better.

The gash in Garrett’s chest hung open. The Grey edged in around him, ready to accept another life. Garrett choked on blood, wild terrified eyes rolling.

Hands grabbed him, carried him away.

“No please! I’m sorry- I’m sorry!” Evan cried, his magic writhing.

He was dropped back to the dirt then. He shrieked wordlessly at the lightning bolt of pain in his chest.

“Stay still!”

Adults were there. Gathered around him. Police.

“Get your magic under control kid or I will.” Someone warned.

Evan barely understood the words. Black magic swirled around him. He had so much blood on his hands.

He’d hurt that boy. It was Evan’s fault.

“Okay, that’s it.”

Magic pressed against Evan’s. It felt slippery like water. He looked up.

They looked terrified. They were adults - police officers. People Evan had been taught were protectors, people to be trusted. And they were terrified of him.

He pulled his magic into himself. Curling it against his skin like a shield. It was usually comforting, a blanket he could wrap around himself to block out the rest of the world. But now-

“Hands out kid.” The Mage-Officer ordered.

Numbly, Evan did as he was told. Watched blankly as the officer tried to clip the cuffs around his wrists. But he was too small, even with the cuffs pulled as tight as they could go. The cold metal slipped right off his hands.

The officer cursed. “DiNozzo, get me zip ties.” He glanced at Evan then. Nervous.

Evan’s breath hitched. He didn’t have the energy to cry.

The officer tugged the zip ties tight, pressing his wrists together. Evan watched over his shoulder at the people scurrying like ants around Garrett. Trying to fix what Evan had broken.

Then he was ushered into the back of a police car.

They took him to the police station. Evan had been there once before on a school trip. Back then the officers had given them a tour of the place, explained how they did their jobs. Offered them little plastic police badges and candy.

But it was silent as Evan was led across to the stark gray holding cell. There were two men already in there, one big and bulky with a greying beard, the other thin and lanky with no hair at all.

“What the fuck?” The big man asked as the Mage-Officer brought out the keys. “That’s a kid.”

“Death mage.” The officer explained shortly, giving Evan a push on the shoulder to get him to go inside.

Evan wasn’t a kid. He was a death mage. They felt like things that couldn’t exist together.

“Shit.” Both men shuffled into the corner, as far away from Evan as they could get in the small cell.

Evan didn’t care, he just shuffled inside. Slowly, he pulled himself up and sat on the metal bench. His feet didn’t reach the floor, he was too small.

The blood on his hands had dried and it itched. Evan picked at it absently. It was cold. Somewhere in the chase Evan had dropped the coat he was carrying. He wished he had it. His parents would be so mad at him for losing it - they wouldn’t buy him a new one.

His magic squirmed inside him, putting things back to rights. It made him feel a little sick. It was easier to deal with when he broke an arm or a leg, not something inside his chest.

People moved around the station, talking and doing their jobs. Evan kept his eyes fixed on a stain on the floor, wishing he could be invisible. He had all this magic that could hurt people and make them hate him, but he couldn’t turn invisible.

“Evan.”

The cold voice made him look up.

Staring down at him with eyes full of horror - his mother and father.

But he hardly even noticed the way they were looking at him. All he saw was his parents. They could take him home. He wiggled off the bench, gasping at the jolt of pain. His sneakers slapped against the concrete floor.

His mother flinched. Took a step back.

Evan froze.

The police officer was talking to his parents. “So, we can release him into your custody if you agree to-”

“No.” His mother snapped. “We will not be responsible for this…”

Evan looked up at her. Made eye contact.

“Monster.”

Evan’s lip trembled. “Mom?”

“Don’t call me that.” Margaret snapped.

He knew- he’d always known, since he was tiny, that his parents didn’t like him very much. Some days they could barely stand to look at him.

But this… this was worse. This was his fault.

Evan turned around and crawled under the bench, scraping his knees against the rough concrete. He curled up into the tightest little ball he could and pressed his face into his knees until it hurt.

Monster.

He was bad. Always had been bad.

He stayed there, shaking so hard his teeth chattered. Time passed in a gray haze.

“Hello Evan.”

He looked up.

Alexandra knelt on the floor in front of him. Her dark hair was pulled into a neat braid that hung over her shoulder. She wore the usual nondescript jeans-tshirt-jacket combination he always saw her in. The familiarity of it was almost soothing.

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“I h-hurt h-him.” Evan whispered miserably.

“Yes you did.” There was no horror in her expression though, not like his parents.

“I didn’t- didn’t m-mean to.”

“I know.” Not kind. Not cruel. She just said it like she believed him.

“I-is he dead?” He understood death better than any typical ten year old.

“No. He’s in the hospital, the doctors are looking after him. They think he’ll survive.”

“Oh.” That was good. Evan didn’t want Garrett to be dead. Even if he was mean.

Alexandra sighed. “This is my fault Evan. You’re much more powerful than I thought. I should have taught you more discipline.”

Evan wiped at his face with a sleeve stiff with dried blood. “M-mom called me a monster.”

Alexandra watched him calmly. Her only outward reaction was a slight twist of her mouth.

“A-am I a monster?” He asked quietly, unsure if he wanted an answer.

“Yes.” Alexandra said simply. It sounded final, immovable. True.

Evan’s breath hitched, nearly a sob.

“But so am I.” Alexandra tucked Evan’s blond hair behind his ear in perfunctory affection. It was more familial kindness than he had been given since Maddie left. “So, I think it’s time we went somewhere no one knows who we are. Somewhere we can start again.” She offered him her hand, palm up.

It felt like everything was going to change.

But then- everything had already changed.

He couldn’t go home.

Evan put his little hand into hers.

He whimpered as he uncurled from his crouched ball.

“How badly does it hurt?” Alexandra asked.

Evan just shrugged. “Think something b-broke.”

“Hmm.” Alexandra put a hand on his shoulder. “Two broken ribs. You’ll be alright. You can sleep in the car.”

She shrugged off her jacket and put it around his shoulders. It hurt to hold onto it but Evan didn’t care. It was warm, and it smelled like Alexandra.

“Let’s get the hell out of here.” Alexandra’s hand never left Evan’s shoulder as they made their way outside.

They left Hershey behind and Evan - Buck hadn’t been back in eighteen years.

-

Buck didn’t really remember driving home from Eddie’s place. It was a blur. His mind was stuck in Hershey.

He wished he could say it wasn’t something he thought of often. But he did. It always lingered. It was a brutal reminder of exactly what happened when Buck wasn’t in control of his power.

It was luck alone that had saved Garrett Tenbridge. Luck that had kept Buck from murdering a child.

Alexandra kept him on a tight leash that first year after the incident. Teaching him discipline, how to use his magic without letting it use him. They had lived in isolated places until he could be trusted around people again.

But even with everything his Mentor had tried so hard to teach him, he had never found the kind of discipline that she kept up so easily. She could live in a place for years, even use her magic without anyone ever catching on to the source of it. Buck rarely lasted longer than a few months.

Since that day, Buck hadn’t hurt anyone with his magic. But it was always on the back of his mind, that it was possible.

Back in his tiny apartment, Buck sat on the edge of his bed and tried to breathe. He wanted- he didn’t know what he wanted. What would make this better?

His eye caught on a flash of metal on his windowsill. He picked up the little metal dolphin and turned it over in his hands. Looking again at the scratches that had been dug into it by the play of a small girl. He wished his own scars had been scraped into him with that much love. Would that make it better?

He closed his fist around Milly, feeling the way her metal fins dug into his calloused fingers. He had become a firefighter so he could help people with his magic.

But sometimes it felt like he would spend the rest of his life digging his fingers into the mental scar what he’d done to Garrett had left. Like he would never stop needing the reminder.

But his magic had helped Suzy. He hoped- he hoped it had helped Suzy.

It had saved his team. It had kept Eddie from bleeding out.

He focused on that sliver of magic that Eddie still kept. It pulsed in time with Eddie’s heartbeat. Steady.

Buck lay back and stared at the peeling paint on the ceiling. Pressed Milly to his chest. Listened to Eddie’s heartbeat.

Eventually, he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Eddie waved to Carla and Chris as he got in his truck. Where exactly Buck had unearthed the incredible home healthcare aid from, he’d never really explained. He’d just introduced them and Carla had immediately gotten to work. Helped him figure out all the paperwork that had been giving Eddie headaches for months. Suddenly Chris had the support that he needed and Eddie didn’t have to worry about it.

And then all Eddie had to do was mention that he was struggling to find a time to meet with Shannon before Buck was offering his help.

Buck always offered his help easily, as though it meant nothing, cost nothing. But to Eddie, it was everything. Even when Eddie was back in Texas and it was his parents watching Chris, it always felt like it cost him something vital. A little piece of his soul being chipped away every time his mother smiled at him and went on about how much Chris liked being with them. How they could provide Chris with a stable environment when Eddie was working so much, how only they could give him the support he needed. Where that support had been when Eddie was a kid, he had no idea.

But Buck joyously snatched up every moment of time he was offered with both Chris and Eddie as though it was a precious gift. And if it even seemed like he might be overstepping, he backed off, gave them their space. But if Eddie was being honest with himself, he had never once felt like Buck was overstepping.

Then after Buck had so kindly offered to help with Chris, Eddie had somehow managed to hit on a sore spot so hard that Buck had literally fled the house. Eddie was generally pretty good at talking to people, but when it came to the difficult topics it felt like his words were made of lead. He could never find the right thing to say, and whatever he managed to say came out wrong. That was how it felt anyway, how things had always gone with Shannon and his parents.

Now Buck wasn’t answering his phone. Again.

After the last time, waiting and worrying without being able to go and check on him, Eddie had asked Buck for his address. Funnily enough, Buck hadn’t even asked what he needed it for, just rattled it off. Buck was oddly trusting about some things.

So now Eddie could just go check on him.

Of course, Buck was a grown man and an accomplished death mage, capable of looking after himself. So maybe he had just slept in or something. But the last time Eddie had worried about Buck and Buck hadn’t responded, there had definitely been something wrong. He was probably still spiralling about whatever he’d panicked about the previous night. Something about his elusive childhood he so rarely gave details of.

In the months they had known each other Buck had come a long way in actually trusting the people around him. But there was still a wall he kept up and Eddie kept finding himself crashing into it. Every snippet that Buck did end up sharing just painted a more and more concerning picture.

At the very least, it gave context for Buck’s behavior. It seemed like this was Buck’s first time navigating multiple close relationships.

Though, Eddie had been serious when he said he couldn’t imagine what a ten year old - especially a ten year old Buck - could have done to deserve being completely isolated from his family. Buck had said it was for the best and Eddie hoped that was true. Maybe he really was better off away from his parents, but something about the hoarse, earnest way he had whispered ‘I deserved it’ had chilled Eddie’s blood.

As he considered all this, he thought of the warm feeling against his back where Buck’s magic lay. Usually Buck’s magic was cool and Buck seemed to run cold generally. But the magic pressed over his skin was warm and comforting, soothing the ache of the injury. Had Buck made it that way on purpose? Eddie would almost be disappointed when his back was fully healed and there was no need for the magic.

Arriving at the address Buck had given him, Eddie got out of his truck and looked up at the apartment building skeptically. It looked a good storm away from collapsing on itself in a pile of brick dust.

It couldn’t possibly be up to code. Not the kind of place he could imagine a firefighter willingly living in. But then, Eddie was no stranger to money troubles, maybe there was a reason he lived there. After all he was there to check on Buck before their shift, not judge his living arrangements.

One glance at the rickety elevator told him he didn’t want to step a single foot in that death trap. So he jogged up the stairs to find apartment 305.

When he knocked, it took a minute for Buck to answer. The door opened on a tired looking Buck but it wasn’t the worst Eddie had seen him.

“Eddie?” Buck blinked at him owlishly. He was wearing the same outfit Eddie had seen him in the previous night, hair rumpled. And, oddly, he was clutching the little metal dolphin he’d taken from the haunted house in one hand.

Eddie held up his phone. “Ever seen one of these?”

Buck’s brow creased, then he glanced back into his apartment. When he moved further in he left the door open so Eddie took that as an invitation to follow him. Going to the windowsill, Buck carefully put the dolphin on it, angled as though it was looking out the window.

Inside Buck’s apartment was a combined kitchen - bedroom with a single door that presumably led to the bedroom. A metal bed frame was shoved into one far corner, taking up a decent chunk of the space. The other corner was taken up with two chests of drawers, both of them with various magical looking objects sprawled over the top.

In the kitchen area there was a tiny table with a single chair tucked under it. The whole place was neat, but then Eddie supposed you would have to be neat, living in a space so small.

Buck moved to the bed and flung the comforter aside, searching until he came across his phone.

“Ah. Dead.” He said as he put it on charge. “What time is it?”

“Just before seven. We have work at eight.” Eddie found himself glad he’d come over, Buck probably would have slept through the shift otherwise.

“Damn.” Buck shoved a hand through his hair, eyes wild in the ‘woke up suddenly’ kind of way. “That’s weird, I don’t usually sleep that much.”

Eddie shrugged. “Guess you must have needed it. You better get ready though.”

Nodding, Buck shuffled over to find a fresh outfit. As Buck went to shower, Eddie took the opportunity to snoop a little. The appliances in the kitchen were a strange mishmash of old and new. The fridge and the food cupboards were mostly empty, to an almost concerning degree. There were no decorations, only what was needed.

The whole place felt almost… temporary. Like he hadn’t really expected to stay long when he moved in. Though, thinking about Eddie’s own bedroom, judging Buck’s decor made him feel hypocritical. Eddie had put effort into decorating the rest of the house more for Christopher’s sake than anything else.

When Buck emerged he looked more like himself, alert and awake. He saw Eddie poking around the kitchen and grimaced. “I don’t have much in, sorry. We’ll have to get breakfast at the station.”

Eddie shrugged, he’d expected as much. “That’s fine. It’s an… interesting place you’ve got here.”

Grimacing, Buck looked around the room as though seeing it with fresh eyes. “I don’t usually last in one place more than six months. I figured this place would do for a little while and then I just… never got around to moving again. I spent so long living in my jeep I guess I’ve kind of forgotten what it’s like to have a bigger place.”

More tidbits of information. Piecing Buck’s past together felt like trying to do a jigsaw with half the pieces and no reference picture.

“Well the LA rental market sucks so I get why you would put that off.” Eddie had been extremely lucky to find his house when he’d moved so quickly. Especially given it needed to be a single storey for Chris.

Buck laughed. “Yeah, easier to stay here. Besides, most places don’t want to rent to death mages. You ready to go?”

Reeling a little from that particular fact, Eddie just nodded and followed Buck outside. They carpooled to work, given Eddie was already there. Buck claimed control of the music as soon as they got in, meaning Eddie was subjected to the latest interest Buck had uncovered. Buck’s taste in music was eclectic, to put it lightly.

-

Eddie sighed, handing out another bottle of water. The call had brought them to a convention center where the air conditioning had gone out on the day of an art convention, leading to a whole lot of people with heat exhaustion. Buck and Eddie had been assigned to triaging those affected, directing them either to Hen and Chim for treatment, or an area where they could sit down and be monitored for a while.

A few mages in attendance had volunteered to start cooling a few areas while the engineers kept working on the air con. Not a difficult call, mostly just boring. Two people had fainted but other than that, nothing particularly concerning had happened.

So he and Buck were chatting about nothing much as they handed out water to civilians and waited to be told to pack it up when they were done.

“Buck?” A dark skinned young man asked, his face brightening with a smile as he recognized Buck.

Buck turned to him and smiled in response. “Oh hey Wyatt. Nice to see you again.”

Eddie watched them closely, tense for reasons he didn’t understand.

“Nice to see you too! You look a lot better than you did when I dropped you off at your apartment.” Wyatt laughed.

How did they know each other? Eddie was sure Buck had never mentioned someone called Wyatt.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks again for that.” Buck looked bashful.

Eddie kind of wanted to strangle something.

“No worries, it was incredible to watch you work. Even if it was a little bit terrifying.” Wyatt tipped his head to one side- was he actually batting his eyelashes?

Eddie huffed.

“Right, Wyatt, this is my partner Eddie. Eddie, this is Wyatt, he’s a Mage-Technician with the LAPD.” Buck introduced them with his usual overeager puppy attitude.

For Buck’s sake, Eddie made an effort to smile at the man. Though it was probably more of a grimace. “Hi.”

Wyatt’s gaze flickered between the two of them, eyes widening. “Oh I didn’t realize- uh, nice to meet you Eddie.”

Buck was smiling at both of them, seemingly completely unaware of what he’d implied. Well Eddie wasn’t about to correct him.

“So you’re here for the convention?” Buck asked.

Lighting up again, Wyatt nodded. “Actually a couple of my pieces are being displayed.”

“Really? That’s so cool! What do you make?”

“Paintings. Mostly surrealist, I like to try to capture the essence of something rather than just recreate something you know?”

Eddie couldn’t help rolling his eyes, but neither of them were looking at him.

“I’ll have to check it out some time. I don’t know much about art.” Buck admitted.

“Excuse me.” A young woman came up to them asking a question.

Eddie let Buck take it, though he easily could have intervened and let Buck talk to Wyatt.

“So you guys work together?” Wyatt asked politely.

“Yeah.” Eddie didn’t have it in him to be nice back.

“That isn’t a conflict of interest?” Whether Wyatt was angling at something or genuinely interested, Eddie didn’t particularly care.

So Eddie shrugged. “Cap doesn’t think so.” What the hell was he doing? He should be correcting the mistake.

“I should have known, Buck’s magic is all over you.” Wyatt gave a slight laugh.

Eddie rolled his shoulders, feeling the way Buck’s magic shifted against his skin. “Yeah.” What was he supposed to say to that? It was true but only because Buck had been saving Eddie’s life at the time.

Then Buck turned back to them.

“Well it was good to see you again!” Wyatt said cheerily. “Maybe we can meet up and exchange notes on ritual components or something?”

“That would be great! Here let me give you my number.” Buck pulled out his phone.

A little part of Eddie did feel guilty. Buck was so clearly excited to be making a connection with someone, Eddie shouldn’t be getting in the way of that. Oh well. The misunderstanding would be cleared up eventually. And Eddie hadn’t technically lied…

When Wyatt had walked away with Buck’s number, Buck turned to Eddie. He squinted at him. “You good?”

Eddie shrugged, infinitely more relaxed now the guy was gone. “All good.”

Buck didn’t press the issue, and ten minutes later they were headed back to the station.

Chapter Text

Some days Buck still found it difficult to believe how much his team accepted him. Not just in the field, but outside of work hours too. Bobby had announced over lunch at the station that he was hosting a barbecue at Athena’s house, where he’d apparently been spending most of his time. As they cleaned up the dishes, Bobby had personally invited Buck, making sure he knew he was welcome.

Plus, Bobby had then checked it was alright to invite Maddie too. It was a gesture that Buck greatly appreciated, but he assured Bobby he was more than happy to have Maddie there.

Since their first meeting, Buck and Maddie had been meeting up once a week to catch up and they texted most days. It was kind of incredible having a sister again. Despite the years and the miles that had separated them for so long, they still loved one another. They talked about all kinds of things, from their jobs to the shows and music they liked.

But it was all light topics, rarely dipping into anything more serious. Buck only told her the funny stories from his travels and they never got anywhere near talking about their parents. It was just… easier that way. There was so much pain and struggle wrapped up in both of their pasts. Maybe they could work up to it eventually.

Before the barbecue, Buck headed to Eddie’s to pick up him and Chris. Buck and Eddie found themselves carpooling frequently, given how often they were going to the same place. And, though he would never actually admit it, Eddie wasn’t really a fan of driving when he didn’t absolutely have to.

Eddie and Chris stepped out the front door as Buck pulled up and rolled his window down.

“Just let me grab the car seat-” Eddie headed for his truck.

“No need.” Buck gestured to the back seat where a car seat was already waiting.

Frowning, Eddie moved to peer into Buck’s window. “What-”

“If I’m going to look after Chris more often I figured I should have a car seat for him. I got the same make as the one you have.” Buck had looked at the tag on the car seat in Eddie’s truck to make sure he was buying the right one- he wanted to be absolutely certain Chris was safe with him.

Eddie stared at him. “You just… bought a car seat. For Chris.”

Shrugging, Buck wondered if he should have warned Eddie or something. Honestly he hadn’t said anything because he assumed Eddie would protest. “I figured it would be easier than moving it around all the time. And I didn’t want to get a second hand one, they aren’t as safe.”

“Thank you.” Eddie said, with an odd kind of intensity.

The thing was, Eddie was trusting Buck with his son. Of course Buck was going to do everything possible to prove that he was worthy of that trust. Buying a car seat for his jeep seemed a pretty small gesture in comparison to all that.

“Yeah. Of course.” Buck wasn’t really sure what to do with himself when Eddie looked at him like that.

Eddie actually saw him. Understood him in a way Buck wasn’t sure he’d ever been understood his whole life. Even Alexandra, who he’d lived with for so many years, had never really understood him. She had done her best for him but in some ways they were just too different.

It was, at times, a little bit terrifying. To be so known when he’d spent so much of his life a deliberate mystery.

But this was Eddie. Eddie who accepted him from the very beginning. Eddie who trusted him with Chris. Eddie who walked around with Buck’s magic plastered across his back.

Of anyone in the world Buck could choose to truly understand him, it would be Eddie every time.

Eddie helped get Chris into the new car seat before sliding into the passenger seat. When everyone was buckled and ready, Buck headed for Athena’s house.

-

The barbecue was like something out of a catalogue. The sun was shining as people sat around chatting, the kids playing in the garden as the adults took turns entertaining them. Buck took the opportunity to show off some of his shapeshifting skills, given everyone there already knew what he was.

The kids were completely taken with it, alternating between requesting an animal for him to turn into and peppering him with questions. He’d had to gently explain that no, he couldn’t turn into a full sized tyrannosaurus rex, for several reasons. Not least of which being that the garden wasn’t that big.

Luckily they seemed happy enough to play with him as a big shaggy wolfdog.

As the evening got later they congregated around the table for dinner. Conversation was lively and constant. More than once Buck found himself sitting back to just enjoy the atmosphere.

As soon as they were allowed, the kids disappeared to play a video game, May to call one of her friends.

Athena turned to Buck. “I was talking to Detective Caldwell and she wondered if you could help her with the case again.”

Wincing, Buck bit back a groan. He wanted to help, particularly seeing as it was Athena asking. But the process of Death Sight was so utterly exhausting. Last time it was bad enough to wipe him out for days, making it hard to do his job.

It was all well and good lying around in his jeep for days when no one cared where he was. But now he had people relying on him, there were lives that needed saving.

“Ah- did she say if it was urgent?” Buck tried not to sound too obviously reluctant.

“You’re helping with cases?” Maddie asked curiously.

As though in slow motion, Buck realized what was about to happen. But it was already too late to stop it.

“Caldwell said they’ve found another body and she wanted you to see their last moments again. Apparently you saw something last time?” Athena delivered it calmly like it was a case report.

“What?” Maddie asked sharply.

Oh Buck did not want to get into this. Especially not when their conversation was rapidly gathering the attention of everyone at the table. Though, Eddie had been listening since the beginning.

“Maddie-” Buck attempted to take control of the conversation before it crashed entirely off the rails.

“Don’t ‘Maddie’ me.” Maddie snapped heatedly. “You’ve been messing with Death Sight?”

They really had the attention of the room now. Athena looked cautious and calculating as her gaze bounced between Buck and Maddie. It reminded Buck of the cool way she evaluated a scene.

“Can we not do this?” Buck half pleaded, not especially hopeful that she would drop it.

Maddie turned to Athena and demanded, “How often have you been asking him to do this?”

Athena frowned. “Detective Caldwell is the one who asked for his help. He’s done it once before, as far as I’m aware.”

Buck had used Death Sight a few times before he moved to LA but admitting that felt like stomping on the hornet’s nest that had already been kicked over.

“So she’s the one asking him to risk his life?” Maddie looked fit to storm out of there and find the detective to give her a piece of her mind.

Athena turned to Buck, eyebrows raised. “Risk his life?” This was going so terribly Athena was using her mom voice on him.

But the question took Buck a little off guard. For some reason he had assumed Athena knew at least some of the risk Buck was taking on when he agreed to help. But then, it probably wasn’t in Caldwell’s best interest to admit to Athena that she wanted her friend to risk his life.

“I-” Buck scrambled for something to say.

Only, Maddie had already latched on to what Athena had said. “You didn’t know?” Then she rounded on Buck. “She didn’t even know?”

Buck shrunk back into Eddie who stayed implacably still. Either in support or making sure he couldn’t run from the conversation. Probably both.

“I-I thought she did!” Buck protested, aware it was a weak excuse even as it left his mouth. But he was between a rock and a hard place. “B-besides, it's not even that bad.”

Now that really was the wrong thing to say.

“Not even that bad.” Maddie echoed, voice edging into dangerous territory. Buck knew that tone all too well from his childhood. “It’s suicidal!”

The room went very, very quiet. Buck could only be glad the children weren’t in the room. He was wishing he’d gone with them to play games, to be honest.

“Alright.” Bobby said placatingly, raising his hands and getting the attention of the table. “It’s clear some of us are uninformed. Can one of you explain?”

Buck jumped in before Maddie could start talking and make it sound like he was genuinely suicidal. “I have a… method of seeing what a person sees just before they die. It means I have to use the Grey, the veil between life and death. It can be dangerous but I’m trained to do it. Really if you think about it, it’s not that much more dangerous than running into a burning building with bunker gear.”

Athena cocked her head, considering him. Buck hadn’t felt so much like a school boy in the principal’s office since he’d been an actual school boy in the principal’s office.

“That isn’t all of it.” Maddie protested. “It means he has to live through their death. Experience it, all the pain, the fear.”

“I experience death all the time, Maddie. And I’m good at what I do.” Buck didn’t mean to sound so exasperated, but it was frustrating to have his skill questioned.

He glanced to his side, hoping for support from Eddie. But Eddie was staring at him with an unreadable expression. Something dark and upset lingered there. But he didn’t say anything. Just watched.

“I’ll tell Detective Caldwell you aren’t available.” Athena said decisively. “She will have to rely on good old fashioned police work.”

Buck didn’t have it in him to protest, there was no way he was winning argument against the combined stubbornness of Maddie and Athena. He just slumped back in his chair, feeling like a moody teenager.

“We can continue this discussion later. I don’t think this is dinner conversation. Now, who wants dessert?” Athena forcefully changed the topic.

Thankfully Hen started talking about a new thrift store that had opened where she’d found some bargains.

Buck scrubbed his hands over his face. Now if he decided to get involved he would have to actively go behind their backs.

Once everyone had recovered from the argument, the evening went back to being light and fun. Buck did his best to smile and participate, he supposed it was better than going straight home and stewing about it.

-

In the jeep on the way back, Chris had his headphones on and seemed completely absorbed in his switch. Eddie was quiet, thoughtful. Buck wasn’t going to initiate the conversation.

When they stopped outside the Diaz house, they didn’t get out.

“How dangerous is it really?” Eddie asked eventually. “Don’t bullshit me Buck.”

Buck sighed, considering. “It’s… It is dangerous.” He admitted. “For an elemental mage to try it alone would be pretty much suicidal. But Eddie- I deal with the Grey every day of my life. It’s part of me. The most dangerous part is… well, when you experience someone dying, feel what they feel… it can be very tempting to follow them into death.”

Eddie’s jaw worked slowly as he thought, as though he was chewing over the problem. “Can you make it safer?”

Glad for the question, Buck nodded quickly. “That’s what I’m trained to do. Make it safer. The best thing is to have an anchor, someone you care about to pull you back to life.”

When Eddie turned to him, his eyes were like pools of darkness in the dim jeep. “Does that anchor have to be a mage?”

Buck shook his head. “The most important thing is a strong emotional connection. It can be anyone.”

“Then let me be your anchor.” Eddie’s voice was low, but full of conviction.

It seemed all the air had been ripped from the jeep. “What?” Buck breathed.

“If you have to do it again. Because I know, if she asks you, you’ll say yes. Promise you’ll let me be your anchor.”

Buck swallowed hard. “Yeah. Okay.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“I promise.” Buck said belatedly. If Eddie was his anchor he didn’t think he would have any trouble at all finding his way home.

For a suspended time, they just stared at one another.

“Are we getting out?” Chris asked, pulling his headphones off.

“Yeah.” Eddie finally broke eye contact. “See you tomorrow Buck.”

“See you.” Buck said weakly.

It felt a little like the earth had shifted beneath him.

Chapter Text

Eddie wasn’t sure what to make of his conversation with Shannon. It seemed to have gone well, for the most part. At least they hadn’t devolved into shouting at one another. That was how many arguments had escalated when Eddie had first come back from Afghanistan, both of them unable to properly communicate what they needed, what they felt. But what the conversation had evolved into was more confusing. Rather than shouting, they had ended up making out on the couch like teenagers anticipating the arrival of parents to spoil the mood.

It had been… weird. It shouldn’t be weird. Right? Shannon was his wife, it would make more sense if he wanted to kiss her. They had been apart for a while. He should want to kiss her. At least that would be a lot easier to deal with than the swirling mass of unidentifiable emotion that had taken up residence in his stomach ever since he’d heard Shannon’s voice again.

Kissing Shannon… well it kind of felt like it was happening to someone else. As though he was watching it all through a thick pane of glass.

Then Shannon had pushed him away and sprung up from the couch, announcing that she should probably get going. A part of Eddie had been relieved. Like anticipating a difficult test and suddenly finding out it had been cancelled.

But his feelings towards his and Shannon’s relationship aside, one thing had actually been settled by the encounter. Eddie was going to let Shannon see Chris. More for Chris’ sake than Shannon’s.

It had been a few days ago that Eddie had found Chris staring morosely at a picture of Shannon. Only, Chris hadn’t asked when Shannon was coming back, he’d stopped asking that pretty much since they’d moved to LA. But this was physical proof that Chris still missed her. Of course he did, she was his mother, and had been essentially his only parent for a big chunk of his life.

When Eddie had tried to ask Chris about the photo, Chris had changed the subject and asked what was for dinner. Where Chris had learned that kind of deflection, Eddie wasn’t sure. But he got the distinct uncomfortable feeling he’d learned it from Eddie. So Eddie had let it pass that time. But no seven year old should feel like they had to hide how they felt from their parents.

More than anything Eddie hated the way his and Shannon’s issues kept affecting Chris, no matter how much they tried to shield him. They needed to do better. They both needed to be better for Chris. That was one of the few things they were in complete agreement about. Whether they were capable of doing that was the real question.

Eddie could only hope that letting Shannon back into Chris’ life was the right decision, and wouldn’t just do more damage in the long run.

By the time Buck brought Chris back from their adventure. They were both bouncing with energy, full of stories about their day. Apparently they’d spent most of it at a garden centre. Which sounded a bit like a nightmare to Eddie. But they’d had a great time and Buck had brought back two bags full of fresh produce from the farmers market being held there. So Buck was swiftly taking over the kitchen to make dinner while Chris sat at the kitchen table and told Eddie about all the different kinds of plants they’d seen.

Chris also seemed to have a wealth of ideas about what they could do with their own small garden. Eddie had winced, wondering what the landlord would think of that. But Buck assured him they could get temporary planters if they wanted to try it out.

Gardening wasn’t something Eddie had ever even attempted, but in the face of Chris and Buck’s boundless enthusiasm he could see no reason to say no. Though he would at least insist they wait a little, to see if this was a passing interest Chris would get bored of or something he would put actual effort into. So Eddie sat with Chris at the table and helped google things as they debated. Which plants to try first, what would grow well in the LA climate, what was ‘cool’ enough to have in their garden.

After dinner, Chris retreated to his room, thoroughly exhausted by the day. Eddie washed up while Buck dried, though Eddie had tried to insist he didn’t have to help seeing as he’d cooked.

“Thanks for taking him out.” Eddie said again. “He’s gonna sleep well tonight.”

Buck shrugged. “I had fun. And if Chris is serious about the gardening thing I’ll help him with it. Seems only fair.”

Grinning, Eddie pointed a soapy finger at him. “You’d better.”

“What about you? How did it go with Shannon?” Buck asked it in a careful casual kind of way, allowing for Eddie to brush it off if he wanted to.

“I don’t think I’ve felt that nervous about anything since my first shift under a full moon.” Eddie sighed.

“Didn’t go well?”

“No it went… okay.” Eddie said slowly. “I’m going to let her see Chris. It’s not fair to keep them apart.”

“I think Chris will be thrilled.” Buck said gently, nudging Eddie’s shoulder with his own.

“Yeah. I hope it’s the right thing.” There was so much more in his head. But most of it he was hardly ready to think about, let alone actually talk about.

Together they finished putting away the dishes, got a beer each and headed for the living room.

As they settled on the couch, Buck changed the subject. “Oh by the way, what’s your plan for Chris’ first shift? Do you have a tradition for it?”

Eddie blinked slowly at him for a moment, uncomprehending. “His first… what?”

Suddenly Buck was uncertain. “His first wolf shift? Because he’s getting close?”

Eddie turned to stare blankly out the window, thinking over the words. Christopher’s first shift. He hadn’t even thought about it, not with so much else going on. The move, getting settled in LA, finding support for Chris, dealing with Shannon.

But Chris was seven. Prime age for discovering his wolf nature. Given that Shannon was a human there was a chance that Chris would never shift. So Eddie just hadn’t given it much thought.

Had he missed the signs? How did Buck know? Surely Eddie couldn’t have been so distracted that Buck had picked up on something Eddie had completely missed about his own son.

“How do you even know that?” Eddie asked, harsher than he meant to.

“I- I sensed it. When I ran the check up?” Buck sat very still, watching Eddie.

Tipping his head, Eddie turned to him. “And you didn’t say anything about it?”

Buck shrugged helplessly. “I figured it was a werewolf thing. None of my business. I didn’t want to like- intrude or anything.”

The tension in Eddie’s shoulders dissipated like a puppet having its strings cut. Because this was Buck, he wasn’t judging Eddie for not knowing his son or not being prepared. He was just trying to help, this time it was just Eddie’s issues getting in the way. Running a hand through his hair, Eddie shook his head. “I should have noticed.”

“I don’t know if he’s showing any signs or anything. I just picked up on it.” Buck had relaxed when Eddie had, and he took a swig of his beer.

“Do you know when it will happen?”

“Uh…” Buck bit his lip in that distracting way he did when he was thinking hard. “Hard to say exactly. Not this month or the next… definitely within the year… Sorry I don’t really have experience predicting that kind of thing.”

Eddie sat back, thinking. He had at least two months to start getting things ready. “It’s fine. He’ll start showing symptoms at least a month before so we'll have time.”

Buck nodded slowly.

“God.” Eddie wiped a hand over his mouth. “I can’t believe he’s old enough to have his first shift. Seems like he was only just small enough I could pick him up with one hand.”

Buck grinned at him. “I bet he was an adorable baby.”

“Oh he was.” Agreeing emphatically, Eddie went to the shelf and pulled out the photo album Shannon had made. A gift for when Eddie had gotten back from his first tour. He tried not to think about that part. “Here.” There were a couple of photos framed of Chris when he was younger dotted around the house but it wasn’t the same as seeing his progression through an album.

“Wow.” Buck said reverently, carefully turning the pages through Christopher’s early childhood. He paused to look at a photo of Chris when he was about four. “Probably a good thing I didn’t meet him when he was this age. One look from those puppy eyes and I would have done anything he asked.”

Eddie snorted. “You already do.”

Buck’s only response to that was a playful glare. He could hardly deny it, he’d recently spent an hour conjuring up little shadowy puppets of dinosaurs to show Chris how they moved.

It was so incredibly comforting, the idea that there was someone else who would do absolutely anything for Chris. Of course, Eddie had his family and they would do anything for Chris too. But Eddie had been doing this alone and only just keeping his head above water for months. Having Buck around, even just as someone to lean on occasionally, made him feel like he could breathe again.

As the silence sat around them, a question that had been in the back of Eddie’s mind made itself known again.

“That… death sight thing. Are you going to do it?” Eddie asked casually, trying not to put too much importance into the question.

Buck’s mouth twisted. “I don’t know. It’s… difficult. And last time I didn’t even find much, just some cryptic message. But if she really thinks I can help, then…”

That was about what Eddie had expected Buck’s attitude to be about it. “She knows where you work, right? If she feels that strongly about it she’ll come to find you.”

Buck nodded. “That’s true. Hey, I’m glad you brought it up actually. I was thinking I should probably show you kind of what it will be like. So you’re not going in blind.”

Eddie smiled. It wasn’t until he had gone to bed that night after making Buck promise to use him as an anchor that he’d realized he didn’t really know what he’d signed up for. Most of his knowledge about the Grey was vague and tended towards ‘don’t fuck with it’. And his knowledge of death mages was only better thanks to what Buck had shared about himself. “That would be great actually.”

“Okay.” Sitting up on the couch, Buck folded one leg under himself and turned to face Eddie.

“Oh- now?”

“Unless you’d rather wait until Chris isn’t in the house?” Buck’s gaze flickered down the hall that led to Chris’ room.

“Is it dangerous?” Eddie asked.

Without having to consider it, Buck shook his head. “I’m not actually messing with the Grey. Just my magic is close enough to it that I can recreate what it feels like.”

That seemed reasonable. For all that Buck was powerful and he’d warned that death mages were dangerous, Eddie had never once feared Buck’s magic. It felt as kind as he did. Even his werewolf senses that usually balked at powerful magic didn’t have an issue with Buck. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“This will feel a little cold.” Buck warned.

Then Buck’s magic reached out in the shadowy tendrils Eddie had come to expect. One reached out and tapped against his chest.

“Do I have your permission?” Buck asked, oddly formal.

Eddie was half tempted to make a joke, but the moment felt too solemn. So he just said, “Yes.”

The tendril pushed into Eddie’s chest. Buck was right, it was cold. An almost nice kind of cold though, like pulling a chilled soda from the fridge on a hot day.

“It should- it’s hard to explain but- it should feel like me?”

Sure enough, it did feel like Buck. Eddie was long used to the thrum of Buck’s magic. “Yeah.”

“Okay so I need you to try to hold onto that feeling. Like- think about something we’ve done together, a job or something.”

Eddie remembered knocking shoulders with Buck as they stood side by side and lifted a car so their team could extract the patient.

“Good!” Buck encouraged him. “Yeah that’s good. Hold that, or if you start getting distracted, think of a different memory.”

What he thought of next was the day they’d taken Chris to the aquarium. Chris had been distracted by a demonstration put on by a staff member. Eddie and Buck had stood under the undulating blue lights filtering through the jellyfish tank and talked quietly.

“Wow.” Buck murmured. His expression had gone kind of far away.

“What?” Eddie asked.

“It’s just- it’s a strong connection. I won’t have any trouble finding my way home to this.” Voice quiet and earnest, Buck’s eyes met Eddie’s.

Something akin to pride welled in Eddie’s chest at the idea of being able to help Buck pull himself out of the Grey. Being able to help keep him safe. “I’ve got your back.”

Some emotion filled Buck’s eyes then. “Yeah. You do.”

Slowly, Buck removed the magic from Eddie’s chest. There was a very slight ache left behind. Eddie rubbed at it.

“Sorry- it might ache a little. Side effect of strong magic. But it should never actually hurt.” As though to soothe the ache Buck almost reached out to him but then he dropped his hand.

“Should never?” Eddie picked up on the wording.

“If it did it would mean something was going really, really wrong. The connection won’t have any lasting effect, I won’t anchor deep enough for that. Worst case, you might pass out.” Buck winced slightly.

“Okay.” In the grand scheme of things, that didn’t seem like much of an issue to Eddie. Buck would still be the one taking on all the risk. “Then- just tell me if she comes to see you. You’ve got an anchor ready and waiting.”

Buck’s smile was warm as sunlight. “You’ll be my first call.”

Chapter Text

Things had been going well for Buck in a way they never had before. Usually he had one or two things happening that were actually good and the rest of his life was either just fine or actively sucked. But now he had a good job. Friends that cared about him and actively wanted to spend time with him. A sister that loved him and talked to him regularly despite her bouts of slightly frustrating overprotectiveness. A captain that called him out when he was being an idiot but praised him when he’d done well. He had- well he wasn’t sure there was an exact word to describe his relationship with Christopher but Buck found himself loving the kid more fiercely with every day he saw him.

Then there was Eddie. Buck had never had a best friend. Honestly never had anything even approximating one. Unless you counted the brief stint of ‘imaginary friend’ Buck had as a kid where he’d actually been conjuring a shadowy child to keep him company and scared the life out of Maddie. But that- yeah that didn’t count. So Buck only had examples from media to compare how he was feeling. Honestly if everyone felt this way about their best friends, he didn’t understand why there weren’t more stories about friends that would live and die for one another. Buck would happily spend every single day with Eddie if he could.

The combination of it all was a little overwhelming sometimes. There were days when he just had to go out for a walk on one of the trails and breathe, connect himself to nature in the hopes it would ground him. Make him a little less scared that this was all going to slip through his fingers like an errant spell. Part of him knew it was only a matter of time until it all fell apart.

Even in the face of that fear though, Buck had started looking for a new apartment. Eddie had been subtly nudging him about it ever since he’d seen Buck’s apartment for the first time. It seemed like Buck had a permanent place in LA now, so it was probably time to make his living situation reflect that. Plus, he wanted to get a place that actually had a couch, somewhere that had enough room that he could have people over for dinner. Honestly, somewhere he wouldn’t feel flustered and kind of ashamed when someone saw it.

Of course the LA rental market was insane and he would have to find a place that was alright with renting to a death mage. It would take time. But even just beginning the process felt like a step towards something. Like for the first time in his life he was actually putting down roots.

Over the past weeks Eddie had been slowly reintroducing Shannon into his and Chris’ lives. It had apparently gone well, with Chris absolutely ecstatic to see his mother again. As happy as he was for them, Buck had been dreading the moment he would have to take a step back, when he wouldn’t see Eddie and Chris as much. But to his surprise so far he’d seen them pretty much the same amount. They still had dinners together, still went on days out. Buck knew it couldn’t last forever but he clung to it while it lasted.

Work had become distracting enough that he didn’t have time to think about anything else while they were on shift. Not only were they busy with the usual calls and rescues, two bombs had gone off in residential areas of LA, thankfully only causing a single casualty. The fear of a repeat occurrence seemed to have gripped the entire city, though it was unclear what the intention behind the bombing was. Both the LAFD and the LAPD had been responding to false alarm calls caused by innocuous items. The entire 118 had to sit through a refresher course on bomb threats and risk management, so the higher ups were certainly taking the threat seriously.

Buck had waited to see if Detective Caldwell was going to come and ask him for help with the case. But so far she hadn’t. And with all the noise about the bombings, Buck hadn’t noticed anything in the news about mysterious bodies being found.

So there was plenty to think about, but life went on anyway.

The most recent call had brought them to a house out in the suburbs. A young woman had called, concerned for her elderly uncle. Apparently she usually brought him food as he was a hermit and never left his boarded up house. After her multiple keys for the multiple locks on the door hadn’t worked, she’d called in the cavalry.

Buck followed Eddie towards the driveway, both of them carrying the equipment they would likely need. Admittedly, Buck was hoping he’d get to use the ram or something, he always liked it when they had to do a forced entry. So he jogged eagerly behind Eddie.

Right into a wall. A shock of magic sparked across his entire body.

With a grunt of pain and surprise, Buck fell back and landed hard on his ass. Hands full of equipment, Buck couldn’t even break his fall properly.

“Jeez. Enjoy your trip?” Chim asked with a grin.

“I didn’t trip.” Buck said distractedly, abandoning the ram on the floor and getting up on his knees. “This place is warded.”

A ward was usually used to designate who could and couldn’t cast magic within the bounds of a building, but could be used for other purposes too. They were rare, requiring both huge amounts of energy to create and careful maintenance for years after. Otherwise they would either just lapse or on the odd occasion completely destroy the building they were meant to protect. So for the most part people didn’t consider them worth the trouble.

But apparently someone had decided they were in fact worth the trouble, and made one powerful enough to knock Buck on his ass.

“Seriously?” Chim looked around at the air as though he could get a glimpse of it. Then he offered Buck a hand up, which he accepted.

“That’s what that is.” Eddie rolled his shoulders, probably feeling the phantom tingle of magic.

The team gathered around him.

“Can you go inside?” Bobby asked, concerned. “You can wait by the truck if you can’t.”

Buck shook his head. “Now I know it’s there I can suppress my magic enough to get through. But I won’t be able to do anything but small magic inside without giving myself a migraine.” He’d only fallen because he was a death mage. He had ambient magic running through him at all times. Most mages probably wouldn’t have noticed the warding until they actually tried to summon magic and use it.

Nodding, Bobby’s face was still serious. “Alright. But if it’s too much at any point just get out, understood?”

“Yeah Cap.” Taking a moment to center himself, Buck dampened enough of his internal magic to be let through the ward.

It was an odd sensation, to be so without magic. It was a part of him, something he barely even noticed, like breathing. The loss was distracting. But he took hold of the ram and followed Eddie up to the porch.

The whole place looked like it was preparing for a zombie apocalypse, the windows boarded up and the door reinforced with metal.

“Alright we’re gonna try the door first. Buck, Eddie, get in there.” Bobby hung back a little with Hen and Chim to give them room to work.

Buck held up the ram and tilted his head.

Giving him a smile that said Eddie knew exactly how much Buck liked using the ram, he gestured to the door. “Go ahead.”

Buck swung the ram into the door. It was less fun when the door didn’t budge an inch. He swung again. Nothing happened but jarring his arms. Ordinarily he would pump a little magic into it to give it some oomph. But, well…

Turning to Eddie, Buck offered up the ram. “Wanna give it a go?”

They swapped places and Eddie tried.

Standing back a little, Buck just enjoyed the view. It wasn’t often Eddie had reason to really flex his superhuman strength. But when he did it was always a sight to see.

The door was reinforced in a way that meant Eddie actually punched a hole through the middle of it rather than just knocking it open. He used his gloved hands to try to bend the metal and widen the hole.

Turning to him, Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You gonna give me a hand here?”

Shrugging playfully, Buck leaned back against the railing on the porch. “Looks like you’ve got it.”

Eddie shook his head in mock frustration. After a moment, Buck grabbed the saw and together they forced the door open.

As they did, Buck could vaguely hear Bobby talking to the woman who had called them, asking whether the wards on the house were sanctioned and registered with the city. From what she was saying, she hadn’t even had any idea there were wards on the house in the first place. She just knew her uncle was a collector of magical items.

When they could finally get inside, Buck warned his team, “If his wards are this powerful there might be other measures to keep people out. Just be alert.”

They nodded, and stuck together as they headed inside.

The entire place was like a nightmare hoarder's museum of magical objects. They moved through as quickly as they safely could, scanning for a person.

“Mr Whitmore?” Bobby called into the house. “I’m with the LAFD, we’re here because your niece was concerned. Mr Whitmore? Fernald?”

“I smell death.” Eddie said suddenly, putting all of them on high alert.

Eddie led them unerringly up the stairs and into a bedroom. There, laid out on the bed was an old man. Lying there on his side like he was sleeping. But definitely dead. Hen moved forward and checked for a pulse, more for protocol than anything else.

But there was something so chillingly familiar about it. Even with his magic dampened, something twigged in the back of his mind. Stepping forward, Buck reached out and put a finger on the man’s ankle, trying to use his dampened magic to-

Buck backed off so hard he slammed into the wall, rattling the picture frames.

“Buck?” Eddie asked sharply.

“It’s the same.” Buck breathed.

“What’s the same?” Bobby asked.

Elaine Hightower’s body had the same energy, laid out on the morgue drawer. The same yawning emptiness. Buck remembered the all encompassing pain and shuddered so hard his teeth clacked.

“Come on.” Putting a hand on Buck’s back, Bobby steered him towards the stairs. “There’s nothing we can do for him, we’ll just call the coroner-”

“The police.” Buck interrupted.

“What?”

“Call the police. He was murdered.” Whatever had happened to Elaine Hightower and apparently to Fernald Whitmore was not the kind of thing that just happened naturally.

“Are you sure?” Hen asked.

The question was understandable. The man was old, and it looked for all intents and purposes like he’d passed peacefully in his own bed. But Buck just knew that wasn’t the case.

“Yeah.” He croaked. “Call detective Caldwell.”

Bobby patted him on the shoulder. “Okay. I’ll call it in. Let’s just get outside.”

“I’ll notify the niece of his passing.” Hen volunteered solemnly. It was part of the job none of them wanted to do but they all understood was necessary.

Outside, Buck sat on the edge of the ambulance as they waited for the police. Sitting at his side, Eddie pressed their arms together in silent support. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the 727-L30 on the car that arrived first. He got the feeling Athena had probably heard that the 118 were involved in something and decided to check it out for herself. Caldwell arrived only moments later.

Hen and Chim stayed with the niece, both to comfort and distract her. So Buck had Eddie, Bobby, Athena and Detective Caldwell gathered around him to hear what was going on.

“You’re certain this is the same thing?” Caldwell demanded.

Buck nodded. “It felt exactly the same. The same emptiness, the same-” Buck shuddered again. Given that he generally ran cold, it was unnerving to feel so chilled. Like it went all the way down to his bones.

Eddie pressed his arm more firmly against Buck’s, warm and comforting.

“Can I count on you for another death sight?” Caldwell asked.

Buck looked at Eddie. He just stared back, resolute. Both Bobby and Athena looked unhappy, but neither interfered.

Turning his attention back to Caldwell, Buck nodded firmly. “Yes. You can.”

Chapter Text

Eddie sat in the passenger seat of his truck and watched Buck. Outwardly he seemed calm and composed, but there was a fine tremor in the hand he had on the steering wheel that said otherwise. Buck was a generally high energy, high strung kind of person. But it took a lot to really, properly rattle him. Apparently whatever it was that had killed that old man was enough.

Once Buck had agreed to do the death sight, events had been put into motion quickly. Whoever this Caldwell woman was, Eddie wasn’t sure. But she certainly seemed to have a lot of pull in the police department. She ordered officers around like a general. She asked Buck about doing the ritual there and then but Buck had admitted there was no way even someone as powerful as him could do big magic under those wards. So with one phone call Caldwell had arranged for the body to be taken to the morgue the moment the crime scene techs were done with it.

Eddie and Buck had to finish out the two hours they had left of their shift, no point calling someone in when B shift would be there soon anyway. By some miracle they only had one medical call in that time. And though it was clear everyone was curious about the body and what Buck had sensed, no one asked any questions. Once they were done they had 48 hours before their next shift. But Bobby had insisted he would find someone else to fill in for Buck so he could recover. The fact that Buck hadn’t even protested was a better indicator of how serious the ritual was than almost anything else he could have said.

They showered and changed at the station then got into Eddie’s truck. They’d carpooled to work that morning so Buck drove them to the police station while Eddie called Carla. Luckily she was willing to stay with Chris a bit longer so they could get this done. The woman was a saint.

When they got to the station, Buck knew where he was going so Eddie just trailed behind him. Buck led the way to a store room filled with magic components. The place buzzed with low level magic and a combination of scents that stung Eddie’s sinuses. He sneezed, grimacing.

Buck laughed at him. “Bit much huh?”

Eddie stuck his tongue out at him and immediately regretted it. Why was the air in there spicy? The stores of components they had at the firehouse weren’t anywhere near this bad.

“Wait in the corridor. I’ll only be a minute.” Confidently, Buck grabbed things from the shelves.

More than happy to wait, Eddie stepped out into the corridor. It was almost strange, being around police when he wasn’t in uniform. Depending on the officer, Eddie’s uniform meant he either got the camaraderie of a fellow first responder, or the rivalry of police vs firefighter. But here in his henley, he looked like another civilian.

“Hello again.”

Eddie suppressed a growl. This guy again. “Hello.”

Wyatt gave Eddie a friendly smile. “I hear Buck’s doing another death sight. I guess you’re here with him?”

Nodding, Eddie glanced toward the supply room. He just hoped Buck would be quick. “Yeah, I’m his anchor.”

Wyatt’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Wow that- wow. You-”

“Got it!” Buck crowed, appearing with his arms full of a random assortment of things.

Eddie automatically reached out to grab what looked likely to fall and Buck let him take it.

“Oh hey Wyatt.” Buck gave him a smile.

“Hey.” The smile was returned. “Heard you’re doing another death sight. I was going to see if you needed a beacon but I see you have an anchor this time.” Wyatt nodded at Eddie.

Buck grinned at Eddie with his megawatt smile. “Yeah I had a little more warning this time. Eddie’s got my back.”

That was right, Eddie thought to himself, that was how it should be.

“No need for my services then?” Wyatt seemed a little put out.

“Actually, the more the merrier. People have been telling me to be more careful.” Buck nudged Eddie with his shoulder.

This perked Wyatt up. “Great!”

And- dammnit, how was Eddie supposed to resent his presence if him being there helped Buck out even a little. But this was evidence that Buck was actually taking what they kept telling him about being worth something to heart. If Buck was willing to be more careful, Eddie was willing to put up with Wyatt.

The body was already waiting in the morgue when they got there. Eddie had seen enough death in his time that seeing one body didn’t phase him. But what Buck was about to do was a little daunting.

As Buck set out the components he would need for the ritual, Eddie realized for the first time the depth of what he had voluntarily signed up for. What Buck had done alone, who knew how many times. This was the Grey, the veil that guarded death.

It was then that Detective Caldwell and Athena joined them. Apparently they were both intent on watching the ritual. Buck seemed unbothered by Caldwell’s presence but glanced at Athena several times.

“You good?” Eddie asked, kneeling beside Buck and pretending to help.

“Yeah.” With a shuddering breath, Buck relaxed his shoulders. “You sure about this? Last chance to back out. I won’t hold it against you.”

Something about the way he said it seemed like he didn’t really expect Eddie to take it. But he was offering it anyway. “I’m sure.”

When Buck watched him Eddie felt like he was being examined. “I’ve done this alone before.”

Eddie held his gaze. “You’re not doing it alone. I’m your anchor.”

That got him another smile before Buck went back to the ritual. He was muttering to himself, positioning and then repositioning the components in an order incomprehensible to Eddie. Athena’s gaze was darting between the two of them, her face pulled in an expression he didn’t understand.

Reaching out, Athena put a hand on Buck’s cheek. “You stop if it’s too much, you hear? I know you want to help but we are not losing you to the Grey over this.”

Buck got that dazed deer in the headlights look he always got when someone implied they cared about him. “Okay.” It might seem like a lackluster promise coming from someone else but Eddie knew Buck would stick to it. There was something about parental figures that had Buck as eager to please as a golden retriever.

Finally Buck seemed satisfied with what he’d set up.

“Alright. I-I’ve been told this is unnerving to watch so… apologies for that. But no matter what happens, try to stay as still as you can until this is over.” As Caldwell and Wyatt had seen this before, Buck’s words were mostly aimed at Eddie and Athena.

They both nodded dutifully, fully prepared to follow Buck’s lead on this one. They were both aware that they were in Buck’s domain now. Even Wyatt, who seemed to be an accomplished mage, was out of his depth.

Caldwell sat in the corner, silent and watchful. But there was an intense, hungry kind of energy about her that put Eddie on edge. He got the feeling she would ask anything of Buck, no matter how dangerous, if it meant she got a lead on her case. When paired with Buck’s tendency to overextend himself in the name of helping people, it felt like a recipe for disaster.

A dark tendril of Buck’s magic reached out and tapped on Eddie’s chest twice. Asking permission.

“Yes.” Eddie said softly, though he knew Buck would hear. Of all of it, this part didn’t scare him at all.

The magic sunk into his chest, cool in a way that had become familiar. The patch still across his back tingled.

Then Buck’s brow furrowed in concentration and his magic began to fill the room. Buzzing and cool, the whole place seemed to get a little darker. Eddie focused on the memories of Buck like he’d been instructed to.

He remembered an afternoon standing in his kitchen, watching Buck patiently lead Chris through the steps to making the perfect fluffy pancakes. Something Bobby had apparently taught Buck weeks ago.

The magic was so thick in the air Eddie began to be able to actually see it. Not just the smoky tendrils that appeared around Buck, but the actual magic in the room. Was this how Buck always visualized his magic? There was a soft blue glow around Wyatt. But it was overshadowed by the line of connection between Buck and Eddie.

It was hard to get his head around what he was seeing but it didn’t look like shadow. It was almost like deep black light, shining and sparking between them. Completely impossible but there anyway. It seemed to fit Buck and all the things he did that should have been impossible.

Sound made Eddie jump.

“Who are you?” Buck asked. But his voice was wrong - layered like he wasn’t the only one speaking. Buck’s face looked wrong too. Gaunt and hollow like a skull.

Eddie stubbornly remembered arguing with Buck about the best combination of pizza toppings. Though Hen had pointed out they could just get separate pizzas, they had insisted that wasn’t the point. Hen had quickly given up and left them to their nonsense.

“Why are you doing this?” Buck’s layered voice wavered with fear.

This was far more than just unsettling but Eddie stayed focussed.

“No- please! No!” Buck made an awful choked off noise.

Shuddering, Eddie pressed a hand over his chest as though he could support Buck’s magic there physically.

Eddie felt it, the moment it was over. When the old man died and Buck was let loose in the Grey. It was muted, only a tiny fraction of what Buck felt. But he felt it.

With a huge gasp, Buck slumped forward. Because he knew it was over, Eddie could lunge forward and take hold of Buck’s shoulders. Buck leaned into the contact like a sunflower seeking light.

“What did you see?” Caldwell asked, eager, leaning forward to hear every little thing.

“Give him a second.” Eddie growled.

For a moment Buck just breathed as he leaned against Eddie. Athena took Buck’s hand and watched with quiet concern. But she said nothing.

Then Buck sat up a bit, still leaning on Eddie. “H-he wore a mask. I’m- I think it was a man. Not that tall. He just s-said ‘nice try’.”

Caldwell frowned. “What does that mean?”

Buck looked a little shell-shocked. “I think- I think it was a message for me.”

“For you?” Athena asked.

“Or not- not for me exactly. F-for a death mage. He knows about the death sight.” Buck’s words fell heavily into the room.

“What does that mean?” Eddie pressed when no one said anything.

“It means-” Buck sat up a little more, looking tired. “That I won’t be able to get anything. If he knows about the death sight he can make sure it doesn’t reveal anything useful.”

“Damnit.” Caldwell spat fiercely, standing and slamming out of the room.

“Good try Buck.” Wyatt said sympathetically as he began clearing up the remnants of the ritual.

“You’ve got him?” Athena asked quietly.

Eddie nodded, he knew he had it handled. So Athena followed Caldwell out of the room.

Nudging Buck with his shoulder, Eddie asked, “You ready to go home?”

Groaning, Buck rubbed his eyes and sat all the way up. “God yes. Let’s get out of here. Thanks Wyatt.”

Wyatt gave them a friendly wave as they passed.

“Huh.” Buck hummed to himself as they made it out into the corridor. He was leaning against Eddie but not too heavily.

“Huh?” Eddie asked.

Buck shook his head slightly. “I just- I guess I forgot how much easier that kind of thing is with a strong anchor. I haven’t had one since I lived with Alexandra.”

“Not since-” Eddie tried to remember the little Buck had told him about his mentor. “Since you were eighteen?”

“Been a while huh.”

“Come on.” Eddie patted Buck’s chest. “Let’s get out of here.”

Eddie drove them back to his place while Buck half dozed in the passenger seat. When they got back Eddie helped him inside. Buck leaned into every touch from Eddie, constantly seeking contact. It seemed he really hadn’t been kidding about physical touch helping to ground him.

“Hey boys.” Carla said as Eddie helped Buck down onto the couch.

“Dad! You- Oh. Is Buck okay?” Chris asked warily, hesitating. He was already in his pyjamas and ready for bed, but he had a little bit before it was actually bed time.

Perking up a little, Buck gave Chris a smile. “I’m just fine buddy, but I’m really tired. Did a lot of big magic today.”

“Wow really?” Chris scrambled onto the sofa. “Like what?”

As Buck gave a heavily edited version of the magic he’d done, Eddie followed Carla into the kitchen.

“Is he really alright? That boy looks half dead.” Carla frowned.

“He’s fine, really. He’s got a few days off to recover.”

“Alright, if you say so. Well, Chris has had dinner, there’s pasta bake leftover in the fridge for you and Buck when you’re ready.” Carla’s business-like tone was comforting as always.

“Carla you’re a godsend. Thanks. You can head on home now, we’ve got it from here.” Eddie would have to find a way to show his appreciation for the extra mile Carla always seemed to go for them.

“You know it.” Then she headed into the living room. “Alright boys I’d better be off. You take good care of each other now, you hear?”

Chris and Buck both agreed easily, each accepting a kiss on the cheek before Carla left. Eddie heated up some pasta bake to try to get Buck to eat something before he completely crashed, then he joined his boys on the couch.

Chapter Text

Buck felt awful. Like he’d been turned inside out and wrung out like a dirty dishcloth. Then balled up, buried for a week, exhumed and then wrung out again. It was a feeling he was more familiar with waking up to than he probably should be. He cracked open one eyelid, wincing as the light made his head hurt.

He was lying on Eddie’s couch, where he had apparently passed out. Though he just about remembered getting to Eddie’s place and wolfing down some pasta bake, he had no memory of going to sleep. But someone, it was a toss up whether it was Chris or Eddie, had put a blanket over him and a pillow under his head.

Shifting his head slowly, Buck found his phone on the side table, charging. There was no way Buck had remembered to do that, so Eddie must have. Clumsily he dragged his phone towards him and squinted at it. It was a little before midday. So he’d probably slept about fifteen hours.

Taking that into account, Buck realized he didn’t feel as bad as he expected to. The last time he’d done a death sight he’d been pretty much dead to the world for more than nineteen hours. Even when he’d woken it had taken him a couple hours before he could actually gather enough willpower to force himself to move.

But this time Buck could actually sit up, though slowly.

“You’re up.”

Buck squinted up in surprise at the sound of a voice that wasn’t Eddie, who he’d been expecting, but Bobby. Tired and achy and a little confused, Buck just stared at him.

“Athena and I came by to check on how you were doing. Eddie said you’ve been asleep since about eight though. You up for some lunch?”

There was no way Buck was stringing words together. His head was so muddled it was a miracle he could still understand the English language. “Mhmm.” Was the best he managed.

Bobby clapped him on the shoulder and helped him to his feet. “Come on. You need to eat something. Eddie’s got some painkillers waiting for you too.”

Oh that sounded good. Bobby guided him through to the dining room, where Athena was already sitting at the table. She smiled at him. “How are you feeling Buckaroo?”

“Mph.” Sitting heavily across from her, Buck rested his chin against his hands.

“Oh that good huh?”

Buck didn’t bother with a response, just looked at her through heavy eyelids. A moment later Eddie appeared and shoved a glass of water and two white pills under his nose. Obediently, Buck took the pills and washed them down with the water. He didn’t even know what kind of painkillers they were, but he trusted Eddie knew what he was doing.

They had apparently accepted that Buck wasn’t going to be a good conversation partner, because the conversation carried on around him without anyone trying to get him to participate. Bobby had made lunch for them all so Buck just focused on enjoying the food.

Half an hour later lunch was done and the painkillers had begun to kick in. Buck still felt like a zombie, but he could speak again. “Thanks Bobby.” He said gratefully as he stretched out his shoulders.

“Back in the land of the living?” Eddie smirked at him, but there was a lingering light of worry in his eyes.

“Thanks to you guys.” Buck rubbed his eyes. “I actually feel kinda human.”

“That’s good to hear.” Sounding genuinely relieved, Bobby patted Buck on the shoulder.

“I thought you might like to know how the investigation is progressing.” Athena said carefully. “But it can wait if you’re not up to it.”

“No no.” Buck perked up. “I’d like to hear it.”

Athena smiled as though that was exactly the reaction she’d been expecting from him. “Well as it turns out, there are several items missing from the magical collection. The victim’s niece pointed it out. It will take a few days to sort through the whole place, but the victim was meticulous. He kept records of every item in his entire collection. If they can work out what was stolen and why, it might be the best lead they’ve had so far.”

Buck winced slightly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”

It looked like all three of them were going to protest but Athena got there first. “No Buck.” She put a hand on his arm and Buck couldn’t help but lean into the contact. “If it weren’t for you the death probably would have been ruled a heart attack and no one would have made the connection. That’s already a great help.”

Buck nodded slowly, he hadn’t thought of it that way. Even another mage that might have noticed something was wrong wouldn’t have had the context to connect it to Caldwell’s case.

“But whoever he is, he must be a very powerful mage to have done this within the wards. It’s no wonder he knows about how death sight works.” Athena rubbed her chin, expression serious.

Tipping his head, Buck considered that. Something about it seemed… not quite right. “I’m not sure he is.”

“Is what?”

“I don’t- I mean it’s possible that he is a powerful mage but… this isn’t like any magic I’ve encountered. I’ve moved around a lot, seen people doing all kinds of magic. But this is something… different?”

“Different how?” Eddie pressed.

Buck spread his hands helplessly. “No clue. But it’s almost like whatever it is circumvented the wards entirely. Like- like it was operating on a different frequency or something.” He just had no solid answers for them. “I mean- it doesn’t help that the magic here is all over the place anyway.”

Bobby frowned. “Here? As in LA?”

“Yeah. All cities have their own ambient magic and each one feels a little different. The magic in LA is more chaotic than anywhere I’ve ever been. So when I’m trying to analyze this weird magic it’s hard to tell what’s important and what’s just… background noise.”

“What does this new magic feel like?” Athena asked, expression intense like she was trying to work something out.

“It’s really… I don’t know, hollow? And just… wrong.” Buck shuddered, remembering the way it had felt as it choked the life from those poor victims.

Bobby was watching him closely. “Eddie said that contact helps with regulating you after magic use.”

Though Buck sent Eddie a half-hearted glare for revealing that piece of information, Eddie looked completely unrepentant. “Yeah it does.” Buck admitted.

As one Bobby and Athena shifted their chairs to be closer to Buck so their arms were brushing his. Buck might have been embarrassed if it hadn’t been so intensely comforting. Different to the way it felt when he was close to Eddie and Chris, but incredible all the same.

“We’re here to help.” Athena said firmly as though she could hear Buck’s thoughts. “And I won’t be able to keep you updated on everything happening with the case, but I’ll be keeping my eye on it. Caldwell has pretty much all the resources she wants, the brass really wants this one solved.”

Buck was glad to hear it was being taken seriously. Whoever this guy was, he posed a significant threat.

From there the conversation turned to lighter topics until Buck’s eyes grew too heavy to keep them open. After Bobby and Athena had said their goodbyes, Eddie insisted Buck take his bed for a nap. Buck had put up a token protest, but ultimately Eddie wasn’t using it so Buck may as well take the bed. For a while Eddie sat on the other side of the bed, reading. Having him nearby was comforting.

There really was something to be said for letting people help him recover. He thought he could probably be over this in a matter of days, as opposed to the more than a week recovery time he usually had to deal with.

-

Lounging on the loft couch, Buck played Minecraft on his switch. Since meeting Chris, Buck had been trying to expand his game knowledge to keep up with the kid. As someone who had spent a lot of time living out of his jeep, Buck had played almost exclusively handheld games until he moved to LA. Chris was introducing him to games he’d never even heard of.

In the two weeks since he’d done the death sight Buck had heard nothing about the investigation, other than that it was progressing.

It was one of those days where everyone was doing their own thing, so Eddie was on the other side of the couch scrolling on his phone. Buck cursed quietly under his breath as the cat he’d been trying to tame disappeared behind a tree.

“Would you just eat the fish?” Buck muttered.

“Having trouble there?” Stretching across the couch, Eddie peered over his shoulder at the screen. “What are you even trying to do?”

“I just want to tame this cat but it keeps running away! Chris makes this shit look so easy.” Buck pouted.

Eddie gave him a shit eating grin. “Can’t believe you’re losing to a seven year old that isn’t even here.”

Buck shifted enough that he could kick Eddie half-heartedly. Eddie easily batted him away, cackling. Just as Buck cornered the cat once again, the alarm sounded. With a groan, Buck locked the switch and tossed it onto the couch.

Everyone scrambled to the engine for their spots. Buck and Eddie sat side by side as usual while Bobby relayed what dispatch was telling him.

Road traffic collision. One pedestrian struck, two cars involved. They were first on scene.

Buck hopped out, surveying the scene.

A woman in a yellow floral shirt lay on the road, blood pooling beneath her. Not- not just a woman.

Shannon.

Buck had only met her briefly when she’d come to pick up Christopher, but he recognized her immediately.

“Eddie-” He tried, but Eddie was already running to her.

Buck was frozen as he watched Hen and Chim carrying their medbags to her.

“Buck!” Eddie yelled, the sound of it panicked and terrible. “Help!”

That forced him into action. Buck was kneeling at Eddie’s side in a moment.

Trying to keep a professional head, Buck assessed. Shannon was in a bad way. Her injuries were severe enough that the Grey had already begun to gather around her.

“Help her.” Eddie begged.

It wasn’t- Buck didn’t know if there was anything he could do. He wasn’t a life mage. But Eddie was asking - begging even. So Buck would try.

He reached out and used his magic the way he did for himself, the way he had for Eddie. Only, Buck didn’t know Shannon. And this type of magic did not like to be used on strangers. It was too much a part of Buck, too wrapped up in him. It writhed in protest at being used in this way but Buck pushed through. Used the connection Eddie had to Shannon to try to soothe it. It kind of worked.

He stemmed bleeding, stabilized organs, steadied bones. But that was the most he could do, put her in stasis. Healing, even something as simple as replenishing blood supply, was life magic. It was something he was technically capable of, but Buck had never managed it. It was so complex, required so much careful thought and preparation. It went against the fundamental way Buck’s magic worked.

“We’ve gotta move her into the ambulance. Buck?” Chim asked.

Buck just managed to nod his head. It was taking all the concentration he had to keep Shannon with them. Someone led him into the ambulance as Chim and Eddie moved Shannon. But Buck barely noticed.

The Grey swelled around them but Buck steadfastly ignored it. That, at least, was something he had plenty of practice in. Chim was doing his best to work around Buck’s magic. Eddie was speaking to Shannon.

Buck had to tune it all out. He was slipping. Losing control. His magic protested hard, making it more and more difficult to keep everything still. Shannon was more stable than she had been when he got to her but he didn’t know how long he could hold it. In his head he silently begged Shannon to hold on. For Chris. For Eddie.

When the door of the ambulance opened Buck was flooded with relief. He hadn’t even noticed they’d stopped. Chim and Eddie moved the gurney.

Buck stepped out of the ambulance and his knees gave out. His concentration broke and he heard the heart monitor beeping angrily. He should be helping- he should-

“It’s okay.” Bobby’s voice. Bobby wrapped his arm around Buck’s shoulders, pulling him in close to his side. “They’ve got her Buck. It’s okay.”

It was a good thing, because Buck didn’t think he could get up. The world spun, his magic roiled inside him.

“We’ve got him.” Bobby said, and it took Buck a moment to realize he wasn’t talking to him. “Go Eddie, we’ve got him.”

Twisting to the side away from Bobby, Buck vomited onto the asphalt.

“Okay.” Bobby said soothingly. He produced a bottle of water from somewhere and Buck took it gratefully. “You did everything you could Buck, you got her here.”

As Buck washed out his mouth, he looked up at the hospital. The Grey hung around it, as was the same with every hospital Buck had ever seen. Bobby was right, there was nothing more Buck could do. He couldn’t even step inside the hospital. They could only wait.

Chapter Text

Eddie sat in the waiting room and stared numbly at the wall. Shannon was in surgery, no one had been able to give him an estimate on how long she might be there. It would be hours, he knew that much.

The ride to the hospital had been a blur. Eddie had held on to Shannon’s hand and begged her to stay with them as Buck’s magic flooded the ambulance.

Buck had looked rough afterward. Not as much like a corpse as he had after the death sight, but he was pale and shaky and sick. It had been like being ripped in two, with Shannon being wheeled into the hospital and Buck collapsed on the sidewalk. Only Bobby’s assurances had forced Eddie to leave him there. He knew, at least, that Bobby would make sure he was alright and wouldn’t believe any of Buck’s bullshit about being fine.

It was easier to think about Buck than Shannon just then. Because he would get an update on how Buck was doing soon, but Shannon was a complete unknown. But there was a bit of guilt wrapped up in thinking about Buck too. Because Buck was reckless and pushed his magic, but he didn’t usually do what he’d done in that ambulance. It had seemed like he was at war with himself. And he’d only pushed himself because Eddie had asked- begged him to.

“Eddie?”

Eddie blinked. Looked up. Hen and Chim were there, he hadn’t even noticed them come in.

“She’s in surgery?” Hen asked.

Eddie nodded mechanically. He opened his mouth but found he had nothing to say. Nothing relevant to Shannon’s situation anyway.

“Alright.” Hen and Chim took seats, both clearly intending to wait with him. His heart gave a lurch. He knew they cared about him in a nebulous kind of way but to see it in a tangible action like this felt different. But-

“Where’s Buck?” He couldn’t help the note of worry that crept into his voice.

Chim glanced at Hen and Eddie’s stomach lurched with panic.

“He’s okay.” Hen said quickly before Eddie could actually start to spiral. “He’s taking the engine back to the station with Bobby. He said he wanted to be here for you but- I don’t know, he said something about death mages and hospitals not mixing well.”

Eddie was caught between selfishly wishing that Buck was here with him and being glad that Buck was considering his own well-being. There must be a lot of magic around a place like this, somewhere people died with more frequency than in any other building. So he just nodded and accepted the explanation.

Time passed oddly. Hen and Chim talked quietly to one another but seemed to accept that he wasn’t up for talking because they didn’t try to include him. The mere fact that they were there with him was comforting anyway. For the most part Eddie just stared at the wall and tried not to think too hard about anything at all.

There was something like relief in Eddie’s chest when he saw Bobby. Eddie stood, Bobby went straight to him and they hugged. Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged his own father. Not like this anyway, a hug that was warm and supportive and solid. Was this what hugging their dad felt like to other people?

When they pulled away Bobby asked, “What do we know?”

Eddie shook his head helplessly. “She’s still in surgery.”

“Alright.” Bobby took the seat beside Eddie.

They all knew the drill. There was no point in harassing the staff with questions they wouldn’t know the answers to. They could only wait.

“I’ve taken the 118 offline for the rest of the shift. You’ll have time off, I’m just not sure how much yet.”

What Bobby wasn’t saying, but was implied in his voice, was that they didn’t know whether the time off would be for a family emergency or a bereavement.

“I’m going to get coffee. Any special requests?” Chim asked, slapping his knees as he stood.

Eddie shook his head, he would take whatever. He wasn’t all that picky anyway.

“I’m um- here for Shannon Diaz?”

The sound of her name got Eddie’s attention immediately. But it wasn’t any of the hospital staff talking. He looked up to see a harried young woman standing by the nurses’ station in civilian clothing. Eddie frowned over at her. She was short and stocky, her auburn hair pulled into a messy braid that hung over her shoulder. Not someone Eddie recognized. The nurse said something quietly to her and pointed over to where Eddie was sitting.

“Hi, you’re Eddie- right?” The woman asked as she approached. “Shannon’s- uh- husband?”

“That’s me.” Eddie said uncertainly. He could feel Bobby and Hen’s eyes on him but he didn’t know any more than they did.

“I’m Layla.” She offered out her hand to shake and Eddie accepted it. “I’m a friend of Shannon’s. I’m actually- I’m her emergency contact. They called me.” Awkwardly she gestured over her shoulder at the nurses’ station.

It was then that Eddie realized he hadn’t gotten a call. He’d only known about the accident because he’d been there, at work. Coincidence. If he hadn’t, would he have gotten a call at all? Would anyone have thought to tell him? Surely someone would - eventually.

He blinked at Layla, trying to kick his brain into gear. “Right. Um- we don’t know anything yet. She’s still in surgery.”

“Okay.” Layla’s eyes were filled with worry, her hands twitching as though she was itching to do something useful.

Eddie knew that feeling too well.

This was good. Shannon had someone here who cared about her, had support. It made him feel even worse, because she hadn’t been able to rely on him, her own husband, for support. But Eddie wasn’t about to be an asshole about it. He’d done enough of that already with Shannon.

“Do you want to take a seat?” Eddie offered. “It might be a while.”

“Thanks.” Layla took the seat across from him, nervously putting her handbag in her lap.

Her gaze swept curiously across Hen and Bobby, a slight frown pulling at her brows.

“Oh- this is my team. This is Hen, and Bobby, my captain.” It was most of his team anyway. Buck not being there left a bigger hole than it should. Left him feeling unbalanced. “I’m a firefighter.”

Her gaze dipped down to his uniform shirt and Eddie realized that part had probably been unnecessary. But she just said, “Shannon mentioned you were a firefighter.”

Eddie wasn’t sure he wanted to know what else might have been said about him. He probably deserved it, whatever it might be. If Eddie could talk about the whole thing with Buck, then Shannon could talk to this Layla if she wanted. “How do you guys know each other?” It felt a little insane to be making small talk here and now but he wasn’t sure what else to do. It was a distraction, at the least.

“We met at a painting class just after she moved to LA.” Sitting back in her chair, Layla seemed to be trying to get comfortable. It was usually a fruitless endeavor in hospital chairs.

Eddie blinked. “I didn’t know Shannon liked painting.”

Layla shrugged. “She said she just… wanted to try something new.”

There was something about the way she said it. Like she knew there was more to it, but chose not to say anything. It was disconcerting, the idea that this woman might know more about his wife than he did.

“Oh that’s- that’s nice.”

They lapsed back into tense silence. After a bit Chim came back with coffees and snacks for them all. After a whispered exchange with Hen he introduced himself to Layla and offered her one of the snacks he’d brought.

Sipping at the coffee without really tasting it, Eddie glanced at the clock and jumped as the time actually registered. He hadn’t even noticed how long they’d been there. “Oh- Chris-” A bolt of cold panic shot through him. Chris would be done with school in ten minutes, Eddie was supposed to pick him up, he was supposed to be done with his shift by now.

Bobby stalled him with a hand on his shoulder. “Buck is going to pick him up from school. He won’t tell him anything until you give the go ahead.”

Eddie slumped back into his seat at that. If there was one thing Eddie could rely on, it was that Buck would look after Chris perfectly. Buck would keep him distracted too, Chris probably wouldn’t worry about where Eddie was for hours yet.

“Good. That’s good. And Buck seemed okay?” Eddie couldn’t help but ask.

“He’s fine.” Bobby assured him. “Buck compared it to a bout of vertigo. Nothing serious.”

There was a part of Eddie that wouldn’t fully settle until he actually laid eyes on Buck. Just like there was part of him that wouldn’t settle until he saw Shannon.

Eventually, the doors opened and a doctor stepped out. “For Shannon Diaz?” He asked, scanning the waiting room.

Eddie and Layla both shot to their feet.

The doctor glanced between the two of them. “Your relation to the patient?” His lanyard said his name was Doctor Gorman.

“I’m her husband.” It felt oddly wrong to say, though it was the truth. It had been a while since he had reason to. “But you can tell us both.”

Layla shot him a grateful look. Eddie might not know her but Shannon had decided she trusted her enough to make her the emergency contact. So Eddie would trust her judgment. If Eddie hadn’t moved to LA it would be Layla hearing all this anyway.

“We’ve managed to stabilize Mrs Diaz. She’s currently in an induced coma.” In a kind but businesslike fashion, he took them through a more detailed explanation of what had been done to help Shannon, both medical and magical. “We are most concerned about the damage to her spine. Whether she will be able to walk again is unclear, but no matter what it will be a long road.”

Eddie was too relieved to hear that she had survived to worry about the future in that moment. “Do you know when we can see her?”

The question had apparently been anticipated because Doctor Gorman nodded straight away. “She’s in the ICU, but she will be able to have one visitor at a time tomorrow morning.”

Eddie sighed, forcing himself not to argue.

“But…” The doctor glanced behind him as though considering. “I suppose I can let you see her now, very briefly.”

“Yes please.” Layla said emphatically and Eddie agreed with the sentiment.

Doctor Gorman led them through to the room Shannon had been given. She looked small and frail in the hospital bed, dwarfed by the machines around her. There was a tingle of magic in the room too. But she was alive. Eddie tried to cling to that fact. She was alive. Now they just had to wait for her to wake up.

Beside him Layla had a hand pressed tightly to her mouth, her eyes shining with tears. But they didn’t fall.

The doctor graciously allowed them a moment. Then Eddie and Layla collected themselves and stepped away.

As they walked, Doctor Gorman looked at Eddie. “I understand it was your team that brought her in?”

Eddie nodded vaguely, thoughts elsewhere. “Yes that was us.”

“I wanted to ask- she was treated by a mage but it was an unusual kind of magic.”

That had Eddie’s full attention. He hesitated. Buck could be cagey about his magic. But then- if the doctor really wanted to know he could find out the 118 had a death mage through other means.

“Yes, she was treated by a death mage.” Eddie watched Gorman for his reaction.

Gorman’s eyebrows lifted. “A death mage? Interesting. That kind of magic could have uses for healing, if others are able to harness it.”

That- that sounded like something Buck would be interested in. If he could teach others… “You’d have to talk to him about it.”

“Perhaps I will. The 118 right?”

Eddie nodded. “That’s right.”

Then they were back in the waiting room. Bobby, Hen and Chim all stood, expressions expectant.

“She’s in an induced coma but she’s stable.” Eddie explained. There was a collective sigh of relief. It wasn’t the best outcome but it was better than what they’d been imagining.

Shoving his hands through his hair, Eddie closed his eyes. “I should- I should get back to Chris and Buck.”

“That’s a good idea.” Bobby said warmly. “Chris will want to see you.”

“Um-” Layla interrupted awkwardly. “I think- I think I’m going to stay here tonight. Should we exchange numbers?”

“Yeah that’s a good idea.” Eddie took out his phone. They exchanged numbers quickly before Layla went back to her chair.

Bobby insisted on driving Eddie home. Without even a word of argument, Eddie just followed his team out of the hospital. He got hugs from Hen and Chim in the parking lot.

“Anything you need, just call.” Hen said seriously.

“Taxi service, food delivery, friendly face, whatever you need.” Chim added, grinning at him in that way he did when he was trying to cover up worry.

“Thank you.” His voice caught a little in his throat and he found he couldn’t say more. But he didn’t have to.

Bobby clapped a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and led him to his car. For the duration of the ride home, Eddie allowed himself not to think.

Chapter Text

Eddie stood in his driveway. Chris was inside, waiting. Eddie needed to be composed, for Chris. There was no time now for Eddie to be the concerned husband, he had to be the capable parent.

When Bobby dropped him off, he had assured Eddie that if he needed anything he only had to ask. It seemed Eddie had the full support of the 118, however he needed them. It was a little overwhelming, to be honest. After Bobby had driven away, Eddie couldn’t bring himself to go inside just yet. He just took a minute to breathe.

The front door opened and Buck stepped out. He looked fine. Whole and healthy, not even pale. It was an incredible relief.

Buck approached him, a question in his eyes.

“She’s alive.” Eddie said numbly. “In a coma. Medically induced.”

Without a word, Buck reached out and pulled him into a hug. Eddie went easily. He pressed his face into Buck’s neck and just breathed. Buck’s arms wrapped around him tightly enough to hold him together. For a minute Eddie just let Buck hold him up.

Eventually, reluctantly, Eddie had to pull away. But he couldn’t bring himself to go far. In a stumbling, rambling kind of way, Eddie relayed what the doctors had told him about her injuries. It was a bit of a blur but Eddie had tried to remember as much as possible.

“And they’re most concerned about- um-”

“Her spine?” Buck asked.

Eddie blinked, realizing Buck probably had a better idea of her injuries than he did. Buck had been the one to use his magic to stabilize her. “Yeah. Yeah it’s- only time will tell.”

Buck’s mouth pulled in a sympathetic, understanding kind of way.

“They said she can have one visitor at a time tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Buck left one hand on Eddie’s shoulder and he was glad of the grounding effect it had. “We can organize that tomorrow morning.”

Eddie nodded. One step at a time, it was the only way to deal with something like this.

Buck glanced over his shoulder at the house. “Do you want me to tell Chris?”

And he would. Buck would be gentle and kind and he would explain what was going on with Shannon to Chris if Eddie asked him to. Even though it would be difficult, Buck would do it if Eddie couldn’t. And he couldn’t say he wasn’t tempted. It would be so much easier to just let Buck do it. But Eddie needed to do this, both for himself and for Chris. “No. I’ll do it.”

“Alright.” Buck squeezed his shoulder and they turned towards the house. “He’s-”

“Dad?” Chris appeared in the open doorway, silhouetted by the living room light. He was already in his pyjamas.

“Hey bud.” Eddie ushered them all inside, shutting the door behind them. “How was your day?” He wanted just a little bit of normalcy before he told Chris what was going on.

“It was okay. Anne got her recess taken away because Josie dared her to walk on the top of the swing set though.”

Eddie’s eyebrows rose. “Did she? Did Josie lose her recess too?”

Chris nodded as they sat on the couch, happily taking Eddie through the school drama of the day. Relaxing against the cushions, Eddie stretched out his muscles as they ached in protest of being sat in the hospital waiting room for so long.

“And then, when we got home, Buck helped me with my history homework so I helped him make dinner.” Chris said proudly.

“Sounds like you guys make a great team.” Eddie said with a smile.

“Yeah! Buck let me chop up all the stuff for the salad!”

Eddie had never managed to get his son to look that excited about cooking. But then, that was probably because Eddie had always seen cooking as something of a chore, something that needed to be done because they had to eat. Buck genuinely enjoyed cooking, and apparently that was infectious.

“Sounds like you did a great job.” Eddie said with a smile.

“He did.” Buck confirmed. “Listened to everything I asked him to do.”

Eddie heard the silent ‘I made sure he was safe’ in what Buck was saying. Not that Eddie had doubted it, but it was good to hear all the same. “Thank you for being so good for Buck mijo.”

Chris grinned at the praise. But as he looked at Eddie, his smile slipped. “Dad? Is something wrong?”

No more putting it off. It was time for the talk that Eddie had been dreading for hours.

“It’s alright, but we should have a talk.”

Eddie moved to sit on the coffee table so he could look Chris in the face. Buck stayed where he was next to Chris on the couch, silent and supportive.

As a parent, Eddie tried to talk to Chris plainly about the important things. He always wanted to protect his son, which included telling him the truth as much as possible. So, in a way that Chris would understand but hopefully wouldn’t scare him, Eddie explained. He explained that Shannon had been hurt, but they had taken her to the hospital. That she was being looked after really well but she was sleeping so she could heal.

Chris absorbed all this with wide serious eyes. “Can I go see her in the hospital?”

“Well, she’s in a special room at the moment, and children aren’t allowed in there. But you might be able to see her for just a minute.” Eddie didn’t want to promise anything in case he couldn’t fulfil it.

“Now?” Chris’ eyes were so big and pleading, Eddie hated to say no to him even when he had no other choice.

“It’s too late now buddy.” Buck said gently. “We’ve all got to get some sleep, and hopefully you can go and see her tomorrow. She needs rest too, okay?”

“Okay.” Chris was reluctant but accepting.

“Alright, why don’t we go and pick a story to read?” Eddie suggested. It was a little late for a story, really, but Chris needed to decompress after hearing that.

“Okay.” Chris scooched off the couch, accepting Eddie’s help. He was always a little less coordinated when he was tired. It wasn’t until Chris got to the corridor that he realized Buck hadn’t moved from the couch. “Are you coming?”

Buck looked at Eddie in silent question. Offering to leave them alone if that was what they needed. Eddie tipped his head in invitation.

“Yeah, of course.” Buck said, getting to his feet.

They settled in Chris’ room. Eddie and Chris cuddled up against the headboard, Buck sitting on the bed by their feet. For reasons known only to himself, Chris insisted Eddie read the prose and Buck read the dialogue so they passed the book back and forth as they read. They got through two entire chapters before Chris was asleep.

Carefully Eddie managed to extract himself without waking Chris. He kissed Chris’ curls and quietly followed Buck from the room. In the corridor Buck was taking the blankets from the closet to make a bed on the couch. It wasn’t even a question, that he would stay the night and Eddie was stupidly relieved.

“How are you feeling?” Buck asked.

“Exhausted, mostly. I’m sure it’ll really hit tomorrow.” Eddie grabbed a pillow and they headed for the couch.

They were quiet for a moment as they worked together stretching blankets across the sofa.

“Thank you.” Eddie said softly.

“For what?” Buck asked, glancing over at him.

‘For what’ he asked, as though he hadn’t done anything much. As though he hadn’t picked up Christopher without being asked, hadn’t saved Shannon’s fucking life.

“Buck.” Eddie took hold of Buck’s wrist, making him stop and actually look at Eddie. “You saved Shannon’s life.” Firm and unyielding, Eddie didn’t let Buck look away.

Buck winced. “Well- I mean- I don’t know about that-”

Shaking his head, Eddie was amazed Buck could even deny it. “You stabilized her all the way to the hospital. You saved her life.”

Eventually Buck nodded. It was hard to tell if he was actually agreeing or just nodding for Eddie’s sake. Somewhere there were the perfect words to say, the ones that would actually convince Buck of his worth, his importance in Eddie’s life. But Eddie was exhausted and emotionally strung out and he wasn’t the greatest at emotional talks at the best of times. He decided to drop it, for now. It would take time to convince him anyway.

Eddie changed tactic. “What about you, how are you feeling? You looked rough earlier.” He’d looked like a ghost as he’d collapsed to the floor.

“Oh yeah I’m all good now.”

He certainly looked better than he had earlier, so Eddie accepted that. “It seemed different to the way the death sight affected you.”

“Yeah it’s a- different kind of magic. A death sight is about reaching outside of myself. The danger there is in losing the connection to my own body. But this- stabilizing someone like that is very internal. Kind of- of personal? My magic really hates being used on strangers, it fights back.”

Eddie thought guiltily of the patch of Buck’s magic still spread across his back. It was so natural to have it there the awareness of it had faded to the back of his head. “Like when you helped me?” He reached a hand back to graze his fingers over the patch. It almost felt like part of him.

“No.” Buck shook his head quickly. “No that’s different. I know you. My-” He flushed slightly, glancing away. “My magic likes you.”

Eddie felt his own cheeks heating just a little, though he wasn’t even really sure why. “Oh. Well that’s- good.”

“I can uh. Remove that. If you don’t want it.” Buck gestured to Eddie’s back.

“No.” Eddie said without really thinking. “I mean- it’s fine. You can leave it- if it’s not bothering you.” Though he’d had the patch of magic on his back for weeks now, he still didn’t exactly understand how it worked.

“It’s not.” Buck said softly.

“Okay.” Casting about for something else to say, Eddie found himself weirdly desperate to change the subject. “Okay. Well um- tomorrow- I don’t know whether to call Chris out of school. I mean he might not be able to see Shannon so…”

“I think,” Buck said slowly, as though giving Eddie time to interrupt him. “That he wouldn’t be able to concentrate at school anyway.”

That was true enough. Eddie certainly knew he wouldn’t be able to. “Will you- uh, Hen said something about death mages and hospitals not really mixing?”

Buck’s expression went blank for a second. The way it tended to when Eddie hit a subject Buck wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about. “Yeah it’s- just for the best if I don’t go in.” The firm way he said it didn’t invite questions, though Eddie was intensely curious. Maybe this was one of the things Buck had alluded to that death mages were sworn to secrecy about. “But,” Buck continued. “I can stay here with Christopher until you know more about what’s going on. Keep him distracted, bring him over if he can see her?”

“Buck- you’ve already done so much and I-”

But Buck was already shaking his head. “I want to help Eddie. Let me help. Besides, spending time with Chris is a blast, it’s not a chore.”

“Alright. Yeah. That would be great.” Eddie rubbed his hands over his face, his eyes gritty with exhaustion.

“Great. Plan sorted.” Putting his hands on Eddie’s shoulders from behind, Buck steered him towards the corridor. “Now go get some sleep before you fall down.”

Turning, Eddie made sure to catch his eye. “Thank you Buck.”

“You’re welcome.” Buck said this time, which was a little better than ‘for what?’ so Eddie accepted that and went to collapse into bed.

-

The next morning Buck made breakfast for them all. Eddie promised Chris he would ask the doctors about him seeing Shannon, then headed to the hospital.

Layla greeted him with the news that Shannon’s vitals had improved slightly overnight and they would likely be bringing her out of the induced coma within the next few days. With a little convincing Eddie managed to get Layla to go home and get some sleep, promising to text her if anything changed.

Then he took a seat at Shannon’s bedside and just watched her, listening to the monitors beeping. He wished there was something useful he could do, but there was only more waiting.

As much as he knew logically that none of this was his fault and he’d done all he could for her in the moment, he couldn’t help but feel that this was yet another of his failures as a husband. As though, if he’d been a better partner, maybe things would have been alright.

Chapter Text

Shannon woke up two days later.

In the ICU, Eddie and Layla had been taking turns keeping vigil at her bedside whenever they could. Neither of them wanted her waking up alone in the hospital. As Eddie had some time off work and Layla apparently worked from home as a graphic designer, there was someone in Shannon’s room as long as the nurses allowed them to be there. They even managed to sneak Chris in very briefly for a visit, with Chim keeping watch for doctors. A task Chim had been only too glad to help with, making up code names with Chris for the mission.

Eddie and Layla had spoken a little over the two days, but neither of them were really in the mood for talking. The little they did talk though had Eddie pretty much convinced he’d made the right decision in trusting her. She seemed kind, and like she genuinely cared about Shannon’s wellbeing. It was comforting to know that when he couldn’t be at the hospital for Shannon, she wasn’t alone.

But Eddie happened to be alone in the room when Shannon first opened her eyes. She had only woken for a second, her eyes locking with Eddie’s. Though she was bleary and out of it, he knew she had recognized him. It seemed like a good sign but Eddie tried not to let his hopes get too high.

When she woke enough to be able to process information, Shannon was quiet and grave as the doctor explained her injuries. She said very little as Doctor Gorman explained the prediction of her recovery time being months at the very least, and had almost no outward reaction to the news that they weren’t sure how much use she would recover of her legs. No doubt it would take a while to really sink in.

All Eddie could really do was reassure her they would get her the best treatment they could. That he would be there for her in her recovery. As usual, it didn’t feel like he was doing enough but he was at a loss for what else to do.

The next morning she was moved to a ward. Chris was ecstatic to be able to visit her properly, as she was awake for longer stretches of time now. As Chris sat on her hospital bed and waxed poetic about the latest school drama, Shannon watched him with tired but impossibly fond eyes. Eddie sat in a chair and looked at them both, chest squeezed tight with emotion he couldn’t name.

Buck never stepped foot inside the hospital. Despite the ever increasing curiousity about that choice, Eddie had decided not to press for information and he stuck to that resolution. But that didn’t mean Buck wasn’t supportive. Anything and everything that needed doing outside the hospital, Buck had it handled. He ferried Chris around, cooked for them, ran errands. Packed lunches for Eddie so he wouldn’t have to brave the hospital food and even packed enough for Layla to have a portion. It was rare Eddie even had to ask for anything.

Eddie was visiting Shannon alone one evening when she turned to him.

“I think we should get a divorce.” Shannon said calmly, looking him in the eye.

Eddie felt frozen to his chair. Somehow utterly shocked and completely unsurprised at the same time. “You-”

“I think this has been a long time coming.” Something about the way she said it seemed rehearsed. Like she’d been thinking over how she was going to say this to him for a while. “I love you Eddie, and I always will but- I don’t think we ever worked as a couple. Not really. We got married because I got pregnant.”

“Shannon-” Eddie tried, but his voice died in his throat. He just didn’t have it in himself to argue. The thing was… she wasn’t wrong. He had completely failed as a husband, fallen at every hurdle no matter how hard he tried. Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for it, couldn’t support someone like that. “I love you too.” He said weakly, because it felt like it needed saying.

“I know.” Shannon reached for his hand and Eddie gave it to her automatically, watching their fingers intertwine. “But we don’t love each other like a married couple.”

“We haven’t acted like a married couple in a long time.” Eddie admitted, gaze caught on their joined hands. Now that he really, actually thought about it, they had only ever had fleeting moments of acting as a married unit. Life had gotten in the way too much, the rift between them that had begun when Eddie first joined the army had only gotten wider and wider with time.

“I want us to be co-parents. And friends if we can. I know- I mean this is probably an insane time to be doing this-” Shannon gestured to their surroundings, to her situation. “But I just couldn’t bear the thought of continuing to pretend. It’s not fair, not to either of us.”

It should feel awful. And in a small way, it did. It hurt.

But in a bigger way Shannon was right. It was something that had been looming over them for a long time. They just hadn’t been able to face it. If Shannon could be brave about it, even in the face of her life changing so drastically, then so could Eddie.

Only, there was a glaring issue. “You’re still on my health insurance.” That was most of the reason they had been able to afford Shannon’s treatment without too much issue.

“Oh. Right.” Shannon chewed on the inside of her mouth thoughtfully.

“I guess- I guess we stay married on paper for now. Unless you’re planning on getting married again soon?” It was a weak attempt at humor but Shannon smiled at it anyway.

“No plans for that currently.” She joked.

There was a little part of Eddie that wished there was someone else involved. Someone he could be angry at without guilt or self hatred.

But there wasn’t. This was just the last vestiges of his marriage that he’d been clinging to, crumbling through his fingers.

“I still want to be there for you. As much as I can.” Eddie said, trying to ignore the way his voice caught just a little.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Shannon said with a small smile, eyes bright with unshed tears. “I guess now we… build something new. Something different.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

-

In the end Eddie only took a week off work. It was clear Shannon was out of immediate danger and Eddie couldn’t really afford to take any more time off work than he absolutely had to. He had bills to pay and Shannon would need more support when she left the hospital.

It felt good to be back at work, to have something concrete to do. More importantly it forced him to stop thinking about his marriage. What he could have done differently to save it, if there was anything he could have done at all, if that was even something he would have wanted. He knew if he told someone about it they would tell him he needed to stop fixating. But for the moment he couldn’t. So he didn’t tell anyone about it. Just threw himself back into his work.

-

It was inevitable that their visits would overlap, so Chris met Layla pretty quickly. The first time they met, Chris squinted at her and asked,

“Are you like Buck?”

“Am I..?” At a loss, Layla had looked to Eddie for help.

Eddie smiled in response, amused by the connection Chris had made. “Yeah, Layla is mom’s friend like Buck is my friend.”

Chris considered that. “Are you a death mage too?”

Layla’s eyebrows rose. “Buck is a death mage?”

Immediately tense, Eddie sat up in his chair. “Yeah, he is.”

“Wow.” Shocked, Layla looked at Shannon. Almost as though silently asking whether Shannon had been aware of this.

Shannon turned to Chris and brushed a hand over his curls. “No Chris, Layla isn’t a mage. She’s like me.”

“Okay.” Chris accepted that easily before turning to Eddie. “Is it dinner time yet?”

“Sure.” Taking the tupperware from his bag, Eddie handed them out to each of them.

“So-” Layla said uncertainly, gaze darting between the three of them. “Buck, the guy who has been sending packed meals every day, is a death mage?”

Eddie watched her intensely. Was this how Buck felt every time someone found out about the source of his magic? Tensed for an explosive reaction. “Yeah he is. Is that a problem?”

“Aren’t they-” Layla’s eyes went to Chris like she wasn’t sure what to say in front of him.

“Buck saved my life.” Shannon said simply. It almost made Eddie jump, he hadn’t expected her to chime in. “I still haven’t met him properly, but I think that’s a pretty good starting point.”

Eddie had told Shannon about what Buck had done for her, how he’d fought his own magic to save her all because Eddie had asked. He hadn’t gone into too much detail, not sure what Buck would want known, but he thought Shannon should know the basics.

For a long moment, Shannon and Layla held gazes, like they were having some silent conversation.

Then Layla relaxed back into her seat. “Well, whatever else he is, he’s a good cook.”

Eddie took the olive branch and relaxed into his own seat. As much as he would have argued for Buck, he was glad he didn’t have to.

“Buck’s cooking is the best! He’s teaching me how to cook too.”

The last of the tension ebbed from the room as they listened to Chris talk about his cooking lessons.

-

Just when it seemed like Eddie was starting to get a handle on life again, Chris started showing signs of his first shift. He was twitchy and restless, unable to sit still for long. He was eating more at meals and asking for snacks in between. He was more emotional and reactive, to the point that Eddie had had a call from the school about his behavior. Nothing drastic, but enough to make Eddie take notice.

Eddie had talked to Chris about the shift before but it was time to have another sit down talk about it. He waited until after dinner when it was just the two of them.

“So, Chris. I think your first full moon shift is coming up. Do you know what that means?”

“So…” Chris frowned. “I have to take the potion to stop it?”

Eddie blinked at him. He should have realized Chris was picking up on that, no matter how well he tried to hide it. The older he got, the more observant Chris was. “No. You’re going to shift into a wolf, like everyone did in Texas. Remember?” Surely Chris hadn’t been too young to remember the pack nights on full moons.

“But I don’t want to be a wolf!” Chris shouted.

The silence was loud between them as Eddie stared at Chris. “Don’t shout at me.” Eddie said tightly. “You are a wolf Chris, that’s the truth.”

“I don’t want it.” Chris insisted, sullen. He refused to even look at Eddie.

“We’re wolves. We should be proud of that.” Eddie explained, fighting to keep his voice even.

“I’m not! I dont want to be a wolf and I don’t want to shift!” Chris grabbed his crutches and headed straight for his room.

Chris’ bedroom door slammed, echoing through the house. Under any normal circumstances Chris was the sweetest kid around, so sometimes Eddie forgot that he could get angry when pushed. He’d inherited some of Eddie’s anger issues after all.

The conversation wasn’t over, not by a long shot. But they could both do with some time to cool off. In any case, Eddie needed time to decide how he was going to approach this unexpected complication.

He’d had no idea how much of an impression his reluctance to shift was having on his son. Without a pack and quickly accessible open spaces, it was just so much easier to suppress the whole thing. Technically Eddie should be able to shift whenever he wanted, not just on full moons. But the wolfsbane cut him off from that ability. It had seemed like a fair enough trade for the convenience of not having to deal with the full moon. Now he was wondering if he should have tried harder to find an LA pack, made sure to immerse Chris more in wolf culture.

When Eddie left Texas he’d wanted to leave everything about that life behind. Subconsciously he had included shifting in that. But it was a part of him and he had to accept that. Had to accept it quickly before it did any more damage to his son.

Eddie went to find some chores to do to distract himself while he waited for Chris to cool off, and dealt with the mess of emotion in his own chest.

Chapter Text

Buck sat up in his bed, idly scrolling through apartment listings. He’d had a few viewings but for various reasons none of them had worked out. It was starting to feel ridiculous, but he was just going to have to keep looking. This was a big part of why he had never bothered trying to find a decent place to live in any of the places he’d spent time in previously. Most people just weren’t comfortable living close to a death mage, or renting a place to them. It was a shame he had to disclose his magic source on his paperwork, otherwise he could just hide it.

He wondered how Alexandra did it. She always seemed to be able to find them a place to live, wherever they’d gone. Maybe there was some trick to it, or maybe she just knew the right places to look.

As he was distracted, his magic played idly across his skin, able to be free in a way he rarely let it. Only when he was completely alone, sure he wouldn’t be interrupted without warning. Though once or twice when he was with Eddie, he had caught himself almost letting it run free. After all, Eddie had reacted well any time he saw Buck’s magic being used, never even flinched from it. But there was still a part of him that stayed reserved. Buck had been forced to keep a very tight leash on his magic his whole life, it wasn’t an easy habit to break.

A knock on the door to his apartment made him pause, his magic vanishing. Very few people had reason to knock on his door, especially not without texting him first.

Buck opened the door and froze. “Chris?”

Chris stood in the corridor, leaning heavily on his crutches like he was tired. “Hi Buck.” He seemed sheepish, unsure. Upset.

Buck glanced up and down the corridor, expecting to see Eddie. But Chris was entirely alone.

“Are you alright?” Dipping into his magic automatically, Buck tried to assess Chris’ condition. There were no injuries at least. And though he seemed upset, he wasn’t distraught.

“Yeah I’m okay.” Chris said shortly.

It seemed Buck wasn’t going to get a quick answer on this one. “Come in.”

Buck took the single chair from the kitchen and settled Chris on it, before sitting on the edge of the bed so he could look at Chris. It was what Eddie tended to do when they needed to have a serious conversation, he got on Chris’ level. Made sure Chris knew he was really being listened to. “What are you doing here buddy?”

“I wanted to see you.” Chris mumbled, never quite meeting Buck’s eyes. “I got an uber.”

“Okay.” Buck said slowly, cold panic slowly sliding down his spine. “Does your dad know you’re here?”

Chris only looked at his feet and that was answer enough.

“I’m going to call your dad.” Buck reached for his phone.

Hand shooting out, Chris grabbed his wrist. “No! I don’t want to talk to him. I’m mad at him.”

Buck stared at Chris. While he’d seen Chris tired and grumpy and even snappy, Buck had never seen him act like this before. “Alright. You don’t have to talk to him right this moment. But he needs to know that you’re here and safe with me. He’ll be worried.”

“Okay.” Chris said sullenly.

Buck pulled up Eddie’s number- it was the most contacted number in his phone.

The moment the call connected, Eddie’s panicked voice came through. “Buck- I- You have to help me- Chris is-”

“Here with me.” Buck said firmly. “He’s alright.”

Eddie’s relief was palpable even through the phone. “Thank god. What- what is he doing there?”

Apparently Eddie was at as much of a loss as Buck was. “I don’t know. He just turned up at my door looking upset. Said he got an uber because he wanted to see me. And… he said he didn’t want to talk to you right now. Something about being mad at you?”

Eddie sighed. “He- okay. We did have a bit of an argument about his first shift. He’s upset about it but he wasn’t being clear why.”

“I’ll- I can try to talk to him and then bring him home?” Buck suggested, ready to do whatever Eddie thought was best.

“Are you sure? He’s pretty upset.”

“Yeah I’m sure. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone a little removed from the situation.” That was something Buck had learned the hard way.

“Thanks Buck. I’ll see you soon.”

“See you.” They hung up.

As he turned back to Chris, he caught sight of the box of lego sitting on the dresser. He’d bought it with Chris in mind, waiting for a good time for them to put it together. And now seemed as good a time as any.

Chris watched curiously as Buck dragged his tiny table over beside the bed, putting it between them.

“What do you think about giving this a go?” Buck asked, shaking the lego box. It was one of the three in one cars so they could take it apart and remake it differently if they finished too quickly.

Lighting up with immediate excitement, Chris agreed eagerly.

Taking out the bags, Buck gave Chris the instructions. He sorted the pieces for Chris and only intervened with the building when Chris was having difficulty. Once they were settled and made it a few pages into the instructions, Buck tried talking.

“So,” Buck tried for casual. “Your first full moon shift is coming up soon right?”

Chris’ shoulders slumped a little, but he didn’t shut down so Buck took that as a win. “Yeah.”

“Are you… excited about that?” The distraction seemed to be helping a little so Buck slid the next pieces over.

“No.” Chris said vehemently, clicking lego pieces together with more force than necessary.

That was about what Buck had been expecting. “Okay. Are you nervous about it? I know it’s a big change.”

“I don’t want to be a wolf.” Chris mumbled. “Dad isn’t a wolf.”

Tipping his head in confusion, Buck watched Chris. “Your dad is a wolf.”

“No he isnt!” Chris burst out, gesturing sharply and scattering lego pieces across the table. “He takes a potion to make it stop.”

Collecting the pieces, Buck took a moment to figure out how to address that. “He takes a potion to suppress it for a little bit. It doesn’t mean he’s not a wolf.”

“Dad said we should be proud of being wolves but he isn’t even proud of it. Wolves are monsters!”

Buck went very, very still. It was immediately obvious that comment wasn’t really coming from Chris. Buck was intimately familiar with that specific brand of bullying, of how it burrowed under the skin and made a home there. “Where did you hear that?”

Chris shrugged. “Some of the boys at school.”

“Did you tell your dad about this?” It wasn’t like Eddie told Buck every detail of what was going on with Chris but he was pretty sure he would have heard about this incident if Eddie knew.

“No.” Chris admitted.

“Why not?” While Buck knew why he, as a kid, had hidden things like this, he wasn’t sure why Chris would. Never in a million years would Eddie agree with the bullies. He was a good dad, he would never call his son a monster, Buck was sure of that.

“Dunno.”

Buck sat back a little. “You sure? That seems like the kind of thing you would have a reason for.”

Chris was silent for a long time, slowly putting pieces together. “Things keep changing. Mom only just came back and then she got hurt so bad- and dad is so worried about her. I don’t want him to have to worry about me too.”

“Oh Chris.” Buck couldn’t help but gather Chris into a hug. “That’s his job. Your dad is always going to worry about you, no matter what. Because he loves you so much.”

Turning into the hug, Chris pressed his face into Buck’s shoulder. As he cupped the back of Chris’ head with one hand, Buck rocked them slightly.

“Alright.” Buck said eventually, after a long hug. “How about we get you home and I help you talk to your dad about all this?”

Chris pulled away slowly. “You don’t think he’ll be mad?”

“Why would he be mad?”

Chris frowned. “Because I didn’t tell him stuff. And I came here without permission.”

“Okay you definitely should have gotten permission to come here. He might be a little bit mad about that. But really, your dad just wants to help you. Only he doesn’t know how to right now because he doesn’t actually know what’s going on in there.” Buck rubbed a knuckle playfully against Chris’ temple and Chris batted him away.

“Okay. Yeah, let's go home.”

Something squeezed tight in his chest at the notion of them both going home, together. Buck shook it off.

Buck packed up the lego to be continued another day and they headed out. Once again glad of the car seat he had bought, Buck settled Chris into his jeep and they headed for Eddie’s house. On the way there Buck kept up a light chatter about nonsense, hoping to ease the tension that was still evident in Chris. But really he knew that tension wouldn’t be soothed by anyone other than Eddie.

Eddie had evidently been waiting for them to arrive because the door opened the moment Buck pulled into the driveway. Going straight to Chris, Eddie leaned into the car to hug him.

“God- Chris you scared me.”

“Sorry dad.” Chris mumbled, clinging to Eddie.

Buck and Eddie made eye contact through the seats. There was more emotion in Eddie’s eyes than Buck could read, but at least part of it was gratitude, that much was clear.

Eddie carried Chris inside, leaving Buck to get the doors. Sometimes Chris protested against being carried, preferring to walk himself most of the time. But it seemed they both needed it this time.

They settled together in the living room. This time with Chris and Eddie on the sofa, Buck on the coffee table facing them.

Haltingly, with encouragement from Buck, Chris explained why he was upset. Letting Chris talk, Eddie listened intently to everything he had to say. Buck caught a flash of devastation in Eddie’s eyes when he realized how much Chris had been silently dealing with, but it was quickly hidden before Chris looked at him.

“Chris I’m so sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about this.” Eddie said seriously.

Once again Buck was struck by how good a dad Eddie was. How hard he tried, every single day.

“First off, you’re not a monster ok? Neither of us are. Just because people say things like that, doesn’t make it true. People are just scared of things they don’t understand.”

For a moment Buck was breathless with deja vu. With a conversation about monsters that had ended very differently. Buck breathed unsteadily and forced himself to stay in the moment.

Chris looked at Eddie. “But- why do you use the potion?”

Eddie pursed his lips, deciding how to tackle the question. “When I was in the army, they gave us wolfsbane- the potion- so we wouldn’t shift, because it made things easier for them. I guess I just got used to it. Then we moved here and we didn’t have a pack yet so I just… kept taking it. But it was never meant to be a permanent solution.”

Chris absorbed this quietly, a small frown creasing his forehead. “So… you’re not going to take it any more?”

Eddie shook his head. “No I won’t. I’ll shift with you okay?”

That made Chris look a little more relaxed. “Yeah okay.”

“Is there anything else that would make you feel better about it?”

Immediately Chris asked, “Can Buck be there?”

Eddie smiled. “Sure, if you want him there. You get to choose who you have with you.”

Buck blinked. “I can be there? I thought it was like- a special wolf thing.” Not to mention an important father-son moment.

That made Eddie laugh. “It is a special wolf thing. But we can invite trusted people into it, it’s not a secret.”

“Will you be there?” Chris asked, turning big eyes on Buck.

“If you want me there, there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be.” Buck said with sincerity.

Sending Buck a grateful smile, Eddie ruffled Chris’ curls. “Okay, now that’s settled. Is there anything else you’re worried about?”

“I don’t really know.” Chris said slowly.

“Well if there is, you know you can talk to me about it now, right? No matter what else is going on.” Eddie was serious, eyes warm but still worried.

Chris pressed his head against Eddie’s cheek. “Yeah. I’ll talk to you.”

“Or you can talk to Buck first if that’s easier.” Eddie added.

Surprised, Buck hurried to agree. “Yeah- yeah you can talk to me if you want. Anytime.”

Chris reached out a hand and Buck held it as Eddie hugged Chris.

“But.” Eddie said as he finally pulled away. “You have to get permission if you want to see Buck, or you can call him. You can’t just disappear like that Chris, it’s not safe.”

“I know.” Chris mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie’s mouth worked silently like he was deciding whether to pursue the topic. Ultimately he must have decided to let it lie for now, because he just nodded.

“Alright. Let’s get you ready for bed.”

The evening had turned out far better than Buck had been expecting when Chris had turned up at his door, upset. Somehow Buck ended up sleeping on the Diaz couch once again. The lumpy couch was probably marginally less comfortable than his shitty spring mattress, but Buck infinitely preferred it.

Chapter Text

Eddie woke up the next morning determined to learn from his mistakes and do better with Chris. Somehow Eddie had made his son feel like he couldn’t talk to him, something Eddie had never wanted to do. Not when he had never felt able to talk to his own father, not really. Not about the important things, the things he actually needed help with. His father would have had to be around often enough to listen anyway.

So when Eddie woke before his alarm, he lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to put together a plan. Something actionable, something that he could get started on right away. Chris needed to know that it wasn’t just talk, that Eddie really would change.

Then his alarm went off and he rolled out of bed. As was usual when he was staying over, Buck made breakfast while Eddie made sure Chris had what he needed. Having another person around certainly made school mornings easier.

“How are you feeling?” Eddie asked Chris, keeping his voice light.

“Okay.” Chris said as he scooped up a big forkful of his scrambled eggs.

Chris didn’t seem quite back to his usual, cheerful self. Though before the previous night Eddie would have said he was an expert in reading Chris. Having been proven not as well versed as he thought he was, Eddie found himself paying more attention than usual, trying to analyze his behavior.

“Mom can’t come to my first shift, can she.” Chris said suddenly. Not a question, a statement of fact.

Eddie exchanged a slightly panicked look with Buck. Then he took a breath. “No mijo. She’s not well enough for that. But- I bet she would love to hear all about it. And once she’s doing better she might be able to come out and watch a full moon.”

It would take a little extra planning but once Shannon was well enough to leave the hospital, probably using a wheelchair, they should be able to get her out to see him. Divorce or not, Eddie wanted to co-parent with Shannon as smoothly as possible, wanted to accommodate her needs.

“Hmm. Yeah okay.” Sliding his eggs around his plate, Chris nodded.

“I know.” Eddie said sympathetically. “It’s bad timing, huh. Sometimes things just line up the wrong way, and we have to make the best of it.”

“I can take some videos if you want. Then you can show them to her later.” Buck offered.

“That’s cool. It will be weird to see myself as a wolf.” Chris gave Eddie a smile.

Grinning in return, Eddie ruffled Chris’ hair. “Yeah it is pretty weird.”

Potential emotional crisis averted, Eddie focused on getting Chris to school. Somehow, though they took Eddie’s truck, Buck ended up driving. It meant Buck could idle in the truck while Eddie got out of the car with Chris.

Kneeling down, Eddie looked at Chris. He looked a little tired and not exactly happy. But he was such a brave kid.

“I know this has been hard. But you’re doing so well for me Chris, you’ve been so brave and good. But we’re going to sort this out together. And we have lots of good people around us now, your mom and Buck and Bisabuela and Carla and all our friends at the 118. We’re gonna be okay kid.”

“We’re gonna be okay.” Chris said back, sounding determined.

“Yeah we are.” Eddie pressed a kiss to Chris’ forehead. “Okay I’ll be at work later so Carla will pick you up. I asked if she could take you to the hospital to visit mom, if you want?”

Excited now, Chris nodded eagerly. “Yeah!”

“Alright off you go. Have a good day at school.”

Most of the time when Chris was having a rough morning he perked up when he saw his friends. But Eddie had informed the school about what was happening with Shannon and instructed that he be contacted if Chris was struggling much more than usual. That reassurance was one of the reasons Eddie was able to let Chris out of his sight even on bad days.

After a hug for Eddie and a wave for Buck, Chris headed into the building. Eddie stood and watched until the doors closed behind him, before getting back into the truck.

Caught up in thoughts of Chris, they were almost back to the house when Eddie realized Buck hadn’t said a word the entire drive back.

“You’re quiet.”

“Hmm?” Buck glanced quickly at him before turning his attention back to the road. “Oh. Sorry.”

“What are you thinking about?” Eddie asked, because most of the time when Buck got quiet like this it was because he was caught up in his own head about something.

“Oh, just- nothing really. Spaced out I guess.” Buck brushed it off awkwardly, giving a little chuckle as he pulled into Eddie’s driveway.

“I wanted to thank you.” Eddie said, because he hadn’t had chance to say it the previous evening.

This time when Buck looked at him, there was a little less surprise in his eyes than when Eddie had thanked him before. It felt a bit like progress.

“You were there for Chris when he needed someone other than me. You found a way to get through to him, to calm him down enough that he could actually talk to me.” Eddie shuddered to think what the same scenario would have looked like if he’d been back in Texas, if Chris had run to his grandparents. The amount of leverage it would have given his mother… he never would have heard the end of it, it would always be used against him in arguments. Having Buck there meant Chris got support and Eddie didn’t have to sell his soul for it.

“I just…” Buck spread his hands a little helplessly. “I didn’t want to overstep but- I wanted him to feel safe with me.

“He does.” Eddie said seriously, reaching out and putting a grounding hand on Buck’s shoulder. “He does feel safe with you. I wish- I wish he’d trusted me enough to talk to me about it, but I’m so glad he had you there.”

“He does trust you.” Buck protested immediately. “Just- sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone outside of things. That’s what I used to do with Alexandra before- before I left home.” Buck’s expression shuttered weirdly for a moment, fast enough Eddie wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it.

“Buck, do you-” Eddie began slowly.

“Do you know what you want to do for the full moon?” Buck asked, unbuckling his seat belt and climbing out of the car.

Reluctantly, Eddie accepted the subject change and got out of the car too. “Not sure yet. I’m going to ask around some of the local packs, see what the set up is like. I should have done it months ago really but…”

“You’ve had a lot to think about.” Buck said soothingly, bumping their shoulders together as Eddie unlocked the front door.

“Yeah. Anyway I don’t really have any specific traditions I want to follow. My family usually made a huge deal out of the first shift- my mom especially insisted everything had to be perfect. But mostly I just want to do whatever will make Chris most comfortable.”

“You want it to be special but not daunting.” Buck said easily, understanding what Eddie was trying to say when Eddie didn’t even really know himself.

“Exactly.”

“I was thinking- would it be weird if- I mean-”

Eddie tried to just let Buck finish the sentence but finally he just said, “Spit it out Buck.”

“I just- I can turn into a wolf.”

Though Eddie had never seen Buck turn into a wolf specifically, he was well aware of Buck’s ability to turn into animals. “Yes.”

“So, for the full moon. Would it be weird if I turned into a wolf with you guys? At least for part of it.”

Eddie paused. That idea hadn’t even occurred to him.

“I know it’s not like- the same. Weres are actually morphologically distinct from the animal- but I’m sure you already knew what- I just-”

“Yeah Buck.”

“Yeah?” Buck looked at him with uncertain hopeful eyes.

“Yeah you should turn into a wolf with us. I think it’s a great idea.”

Shoulders relaxing, Buck gave him a blinding grin. “Awesome.”

They went their separate ways for the day, but met up again a few hours later for work. Buck was distracted and quiet. When they got called out he was on the ball and did as he was told, but when they got back to the station Hen had to ask him three times to hand her the coffee creamer that was next to his elbow.

When Buck mumbled something about the gym and went downstairs, Hen looked around the group. “What was that about?”

Her gaze landed on Eddie like she was expecting him to know, but he was as clueless as she was. “I don’t know.” He admitted, frowning after Buck. After only another moment, Eddie followed him down the stairs.

“See if he wants to help me with lunch.” Bobby called to Eddie’s retreating back. That was usually a surefire way to improve Buck’s mood.

There were other people using the gym so Eddie snagged Buck by the elbow and dragged him into the bunk room. A few curious eyes followed their progress but not one questioned them.

“Alright.” Eddie said when the door was closed behind them. “What is going on?”

When Buck looked at him, his gaze was confused but still with that weird vacant quality he’d had all day. “What?”

“You’ve been spaced out since this morning. Clearly you’re obsessing about something.” Folding his arms over his chest, Eddie was determined not to leave the room without some kind of an answer, or a promise from Buck that he would talk to someone else about it at least.

Rather than deny it, Buck just sat heavily on the edge of the bunk that was unofficially his. They weren’t technically assigned but people always used the same ones. “I’m just thinking I guess.”

“Right. Do you want to tell me what about?”

Buck’s jaw worked for a moment. “About what you said to Chris.”

There were a lot of things that could mean. “Which part?”

“You told him he wasn’t a monster.”

Sensing an opportunity to drag a reaction out of Buck, Eddie baited him. “Do you disagree?”

Startled, Buck’s gaze snapped up to Eddie. “What? No- god no. He’s- he’s the furthest thing from a monster. I’m glad you reassured him of that.”

“Okay.” Eddie said slowly, taking a seat on his unofficial bunk at a right angle to Buck’s. “So…”

“My- my mother said I was a monster.” There was an odd, detached quality to the way he said it. Like he was relaying the details of a difficult call, not a childhood trauma. “I think- I think she always thought it but. She actually said it to me just be- before Alexandra came to take me in.”

Buck had said that he left his parents house when he was ten years old. Only three years older than Chris was now.

“She shouldn’t have said that.” Eddie said hoarsely.

Buck barely seemed to hear him. “I asked Alexandra if it was true. If I was a monster. And she said yes. We both were.”

Eddie stared at him. He couldn’t imagine looking a ten year old in the face and telling him he was a monster. “That’s not true. Buck- you’re not a monster.”

Buck’s mouth twisted. “I am, Eddie. That’s what Alexandra taught me. That we’re monsters but we don’t- we don’t have to act like monsters. We can learn how to control it. Be better than…”

The look in Buck’s eyes was flat belief, like this was just a fact of life. One of those deeply ingrained load bearing beliefs that had been built upon. Because his mother had started it and Alexandra had reinforced it and the world had ground it into him.

Truly, entirely, Buck believed that he was a monster.

Suddenly faced with the enormity of it, Eddie was helpless against it. What could he possibly say to change Buck’s mind. “You’re not a monster.” He said anyway because it needed saying. Because he would keep saying it even if Buck never believed it.

Buck just looked away. They were at a stalemate. Both at positions they wouldn’t or couldn’t back down from.

“Bobby asked if you wanted to help him with lunch.” Eddie said eventually.

Buck stood. He smiled at Eddie and it was nearly the usual sunny smile Buck bestowed on his friends. While Buck might not be a good liar, when he put his mind to it, he was excellent at pretending he was fine. “Let’s go see what’s on the menu.”

“Yeah.” Eddie mumbled, gaze caught on the plastic box labelled ‘Buckley’ tucked under the bunk. He knew that in it was a dinosaur print blanket Chris had insisted on buying for Buck because he always seemed to run cold. When he’d given it to him, Buck’s eyes had shone with unshed tears. He’d promised to take it to work to keep him warm when he was on shift. Eddie had seen him use it every night they were on shift since, even when it was hot he kept it bundled at the edge of the bed.

Monster indeed.

If Eddie ever met Buck’s mother, he didn’t think he could be held responsible for his actions.

But for the moment he just followed Buck from the bunk room.

Chapter Text

The weeks leading up to the full moon were hectic. Between work, Chris and Shannon, Eddie found his time mostly accounted for.

Though Buck seemed back to his usual, cheerful self, Eddie couldn’t forget the conversation they’d had. The look on Buck’s face as he’d spoken. For the moment Eddie just made sure to tell Buck that he was wanted and appreciated, both at the station and at the Diaz house. Whether Buck believed him was unclear but Eddie kept saying it anyway. He just didn’t have the capacity for anything more elaborate, not with so much else going on.

Shannon was improving on a timeline pretty much in line with the doctor’s predictions. She had thrown herself into her recovery by listening carefully to every piece of advice from her care team. Working herself up to her next goal without pushing herself too far. Eddie was sure he had never been that good a patient when he was recovering after being shot. They were already looking at the kind of modifications her living situation would need when she was discharged.

Throughout it all, Layla had been there for her. Eddie still made sure Shannon had support from him, but he didn’t worry about her the way he might have if she were alone. It made him realize once again, just how isolated they had been as a couple back in Texas. Their friends hadn’t really been interested in the whole young parents thing. And Eddie’s parents made things harder. If they’d both had this kind of support when they were younger, they would have had a much softer landing.

Chris was better since they’d talked things out and Eddie had been trying to teach him about wolf culture. For example, pack structure varied pretty wildly from pack to pack. It was dependent on the ethos and shared values that bound the pack together. Some were lineage packs built around a bloodline, others were chosen packs built on the bonds made between the wolves. Some were even just a group of people bound together by the need to shift on the full moon and they didn’t have much contact outside of that.

The pack Eddie had grown up in had been a lineage pack, one of the oldest in Texas. His uncle had inherited leadership not long before Eddie had signed up to join the army. They were hardly the most conservative pack out there, but they weren’t exactly progressive either. Eddie’s father had a lot of ideas about what a wolf should be, how a man should run his family. Ideas that Eddie had been expected to live up to, even as a child.

So Eddie had shared stories about growing up as a were in a pack, but some of them were edited for Chris’ sake. He didn’t need to know the details of the ongoing tension Eddie felt with his family.

The day of the full moon came around quickly. Eddie had asked around with other packs and managed to get them permission to use an edge of the land the Clarion pack reserved for full moons. Technically they could shift and run around as wolves wherever they wanted, some even chose to roam the streets of LA. But it was much safer to do it on land registered for the purpose, especially given Christopher’s age.

The Clarion pack seemed nice enough. Eddie had been careful to find a chosen pack rather than a lineage pack, not wanting to deal with whatever ingrained traditions they might have. Their leader, a woman named Elvira, had invited Eddie and Chris to spend some time with them after the full moon and see if they were compatible to join the pack. If that was something they wanted. Which Eddie would seriously consider at the very least. Even if they didn’t end up joining a pack, it turned out Chris was in dire need of socialization with other wolves. Something Eddie was determined to get started on as soon as they got past the anxiety of the first shift.

Eddie had also made sure to inform Elvira that they would have Buck with them and that he was a death mage. Their reaction to that information could be a deal breaker. Elvira had seemed surprised and a little confused at the idea. But when Eddie explained that Buck was considered a member of their family, Elvira expressed interest in meeting him. So Eddie promised to bring him along when he brought Chris to meet the pack. It seemed their behavior during the full moon would decide whether Elvira trusted them, a test to see if they could follow instructions and keep to their assigned area.

On the afternoon of the full moon they packed up Eddie’s truck with blankets and snacks and water bottles and headed out to the Clarion pack land. Eddie had carefully studied the map Elvira gave him and Buck had done the same. On the way there Buck was in full distraction mode, in charge of the music and chatting to Chris about all sorts of random things. It was doubly appreciated because Chris had been twitchy all day and Eddie found himself more nervous about the whole thing than he had anticipated. He just wanted this to be a positive experience for Chris, to set him up well for future full moons.

They arrived with time to spare and found it was a pretty little spot, edged by sparse trees and wildflowers. Eddie and Chris could hear the Clarion pack in the distance shouting and laughing and it made for pleasant ambience. Though apparently Buck couldn’t hear them with his normal ears, which they teased him for.

Setting out a blanket, they had a picnic in the fading afternoon light. Eddie had laughed at the sheer amount of food Buck had shoved into the back seat with Chris, but they demolished all of it easily. They would all need the energy for the night.

Once the food was gone and they’d carefully packed away any wrappers to take home with them, they lay back on the blanket for a bit.

“How are you feeling Chris? Are you ready?” Eddie asked, propping his head up on his arm so he could watch his son.

Chris hummed. “I think so?”

“Do you want me to shift first so you can see it, or do you want me to wait?” Eddie offered. He had enough experience with the pull of the full moon that he could ignore it for a while if he needed to.

Chris bit his lip in thought. “I think- you go first.” Of course, Chris had seen people shift into wolves before, but it had been a while.

“Alright. And you remember what I said?”

Nodding, Chris looked at him seriously. “My body already knows how to shift, so all I have to do is let it.”

“Good.” Eddie said approvingly. That was what his Abuela had told him before his first shift, and it had been more useful than any of the advice his parents had given him.

As the sun began to dip behind the horizon, they put the blanket back in the truck with the bags.

Then it was time to begin.

The shift didn’t hurt as such, but it was difficult to get used to. Like putting a hundred dislocated joints back into position. Deep, ancient magic pouring through every cell to cause the shift. For a moment during every shift, Eddie felt like he was part of something much bigger than himself, something he gave himself willingly to. What Eddie had almost forgotten, given how long it had been, was how good it felt to be a wolf. How freeing it was to let this other part of this nature out, to stretch his legs and dig his big paws into the dirt. His instincts were louder like this, urging him to run and hunt and protect.

Eddie turned to look at Buck and Chris, both of them watching him with awed expressions. In this form Eddie was almost as tall as Chris, weres were bigger than average wolves.

“Wow.” Chris said. He held out a hand shaking slightly with the adrenaline of the imminent shift.

Moving closer, Eddie butted his head affectionately against Chris’ hand. With a laugh, Chris dug his hand into Eddie’s thick fur.

“You’re so big! Will I be that big?” Chris looked up at Buck, as Eddie couldn’t answer.

“Maybe one day. But you’ll be smaller right now because you’re still a pup.” Buck squeezed Chris’ shoulders. When he looked back at Eddie there was some depth of emotion there that Eddie struggled to read, too mixed up and jumbled together. Buck offered his hand out too and Eddie butted his head against it, closing his eyes for a moment as Buck scratched the underside of his jaw.

“Buck-” Chris’ voice trembled, making Eddie’s eyes snap open.

“It’s alright.” Calmly, Buck knelt in front of Chris. “Your body knows what to do, like your dad said.”

Eddie lay down in front of Chris, showing him with body language that he wasn’t worried. That he knew Chris could do it.

Chris screwed his eyes shut, a full body shudder running through him. Eddie and Buck watched him like hawks, though there was nothing either one of them could do to help. Then a minute later a wolf pup lay in the grass, eyes still shut tightly. Eddie edged forward and nudged Chris’ shoulder. Eyes popping open, Chris got to his feet and yipped excitedly. His fur was a mixture of gray and white and brown, much like Eddie’s own, though Eddie’s was darker. Chris had white paws too, looking almost like he was wearing white socks. He was small, and absolutely adorable.

Nuzzling the side of Chris’ head, Eddie chuffed affectionately and Chris yipped again. As they began to move around one another, Chris was about as steady on his wolf legs as he was on his human ones. He dealt with it the way he generally approached problems, with boundless determination.

Putting one paw in front of the other, Chris made his way over to Buck.

“Hey.” Buck said gently, wide smile stretching his cheeks. “You did it! You did so well buddy.” When he put out his hand, Chris joyfully shoved his head against it, letting Buck pet his soft head.

Eddie trotted over to join them and took Buck’s sleeve in his mouth, tugging on it gently.

“Oh you want me to join you?”

Eddie barked.

“Hold on, let me get some videos first.” Taking out his phone, Buck proceeded to act as their personal videographer while Chris got used to being a wolf. Once he’d moved around for a little Chris was a little steadier on his feet, but there was still some difficulty.

Finally though, Buck was satisfied with his pictures and videos. Buck’s transformation looked much easier than that of a werewolf. But then, Eddie figured Buck had enough drawbacks to his magic, he might as well have something work out easily for him.

Buck was a grey wolf, not as big as Eddie but bigger than most dogs. Both Eddie and Chris greeted his new form with head nuzzles. Then the three of them began to play.

No words could be exchanged, but they weren’t needed. They bounded around one another joyfully, played hide and seek or tug of war with sticks, all with wordless understanding. Chris fell and tumbled over himself more than once, but he was never hurt.

Hours passed, just the three of them in their own little world.

For Eddie and Chris, staying in their wolf forms was natural. For Buck, it was something that required sustained concentration. He could make it for a few hours, but then he flopped onto the grass, human once again. Taking the advantage, Chris pounced on him. They wrestled playfully, Chris snapping his teeth at Buck.

“Ow.” Buck yelped, more surprise than actual pain in his tone.

Eddie trotted over, sharp eyes looking for the reason. When Chris moved away, they both saw a long red scrape across Buck’s forearm dripping blood. Backing away, Chris whined.

“Hey it’s okay!” Buck said quickly, one hand clamped over the scrape. “It’s alright, I’m a death mage remember? See?”

Holding his arm out, Buck showed Chris the way his magic crawled across the scrape, sealing it up. Whining again, Chris very gently pressed his nose against Buck’s hand, the one that wasn’t still covered in blood.

“I know you didn’t mean it. You just need to learn your strength, okay? This is a whole new body.”

Eddie nudged Chris’ shoulder and licked the side of his face.

“See? Your dad agrees with me. You’ll learn for next time.”

After that they played a little longer but Chris was clearly tiring. Buck went back first, leaving Eddie and Chris to walk together in the moonlight for a little while. It was peaceful out there. This was the kind of full moon experience Eddie had always wished for with his own father. And he was ecstatic to be able to give it to Chris.

When they got back, Buck had already set up the back of the truck with the tent cover and blankets. Chris was too small to jump up himself so Buck picked him up like a baby and ruffled his fur. The three of them climbed in, arranging themselves in the small space. It wasn’t cold exactly, but the night air was cool enough to have them curled up together. Eddie curled around Buck curled around Chris.

Chris and Buck fell asleep almost immediately, but Eddie lay for a while and looked at the full moon through the mesh of the tent. Their steady breathing slowly lulled him to sleep.

Chapter Text

The morning dawned bright and clear. Buck was the first one awake, still sandwiched between Eddie and Chris. They’d both turned human again some time in the night, but they’d probably be out for the count a while longer. As far as Buck understood it, shifting required a lot of energy. Buck was only awake so early because he didn’t require a lot of sleep. Indulgently, Buck lay there a while and watched a lone cloud trek across the sky, listening to Chris’ breathing and Eddie’s light snoring. Though Eddie would deny to the end of time that he snored at all. But Buck found it comforting, he’d gotten used to it over months of sleeping near one another in the bunks.

But eventually Buck got restless. He carefully extracted himself from between Eddie and Chris without waking either one. Then he made a slow lap of the area they’d stayed in, both to stretch his legs and to make sure they hadn’t left any trash behind. Whenever he went into nature Buck subscribed to the ‘leave no trace’ way of thinking, as he’d been taught by Alexandra. She’d insisted they shouldn’t contribute to the destruction of natural spaces. When he was sure they hadn’t left anything behind, he went to the truck and pulled out the oatmeal bars he’d packed for breakfast.

“Good morning.”

Buck jumped, nearly dropping the tupperware. “Oh!”

A woman stood at the edge of the tree line, watching him. She was tall, with an aura of quiet confidence that Buck could easily imagine commanding a room. Her dark hair was streaked with gray and pulled neatly back, her clothes simple as the sun lit her brown skin. Her energy reminded Buck of Athena.

“Good morning.” Buck said belatedly. Instinctively, he moved to put himself between her and the truck bed where Eddie and Chris were still sleeping.

“You’re the death mage then? Buck?” As she continued the conversation, she stayed exactly where she was. Not straying any closer.

“Yeah- yep. That’s me. Uhm- are you Elvira?” Buck’s eyes darted to Eddie, wondering if he was supposed to wake him.

“I am.”

“N-nice to meet you.” Buck gave her a smile, eager to make a good impression. If this was a pack Eddie wanted to have more interactions with, Buck didn’t want to jeopardize that. Eddie was already putting himself out on a limb by bringing Buck in the first place. Eddie thought it was important to have Chris interact with more wolves but Buck got the feeling it was important for Eddie too. It would do them both good.

Elvira tipped her head, calm and curious. It made Buck feel like a puzzle to be solved. “I heard three wolves out here last night. But I understood the only weres here would be Eddie and his son.”

Before Buck could answer, Eddie poked his head out of the tent. “Elvira. Good morning.” Somehow he was completely calm and collected as he climbed from the truck, as though he was unsurprised to see her there. Maybe he had expected the visit.

“Good morning Eddie. I came to see how your full moon went.”

Smiling easily, Eddie was in full charm mode as he moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with Buck. “It was great, thanks. You’ve got some gorgeous land out here, Chris loved it.”

“I’m happy to hear that. And the third wolf?” There was a very slight note of warning in her voice, she expected an answer.

Eddie glanced at Buck so he took the opportunity to jump in. “Sorry- I guess we should have wanted you, I um. I turned into a wolf to join them.”

Clapping Buck on the shoulder, Eddie gave her a grin. “Buck here can turn into just about any animal.”

Elvira raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You must be a powerful mage.”

“Well it’s- it’s kind of a death mage thing.” Buck said noncommittally, because he wasn’t sure whether him being powerful constituted a positive or a negative for this woman. It might be preferable to her if he was less powerful.

“I see.” Elvira watched him with her sharp eyes, like she could see right through him. “I met a death mage once, many years ago in New York.”

Buck blinked. “Oh?” Most people who had met a death mage didn’t even realize it, given that death mages were usually much more diligent about hiding what they were than Buck was.

“A man by the name of Samson Callow.”

Buck winced. He didn’t know every death mage personally, or even most of them. But Callow was both a member of the Mortis and notorious for being an asshole. Buck had had the displeasure of meeting him more than once. “Ah.”

“You have a very different energy.” Elvira said mildly.

“Yeah that’s- I’ve been told that.” Death mages varied as much as any other kind of person, but even among death mages Buck had always been considered a little weird.

Eddie gave Buck a curious look but he shook his head slightly and gave him a look that he hoped conveyed ‘I’ll tell you later’. Luckily Eddie accepted that and turned his attention back to Elvira.

“Is there an issue?” Eddie prompted, arms folded like he was ready for a verbal fight.

“Not at all.”

The energy was weird, though she genuinely didn’t seem annoyed with them.

“Um. Would you like an oatmeal bar?” Buck offered. He’d made plenty.

Elvira really smiled then and it transformed her entire face. “Yes. Thank you.”

Peeling the lid off the tupperware, Buck offered it out and let her pick her own bar. “They’re maple syrup and cinnamon.”

“Can I expect to see you back soon then, if you enjoyed your time here?” Elvira’s question was aimed at both of them.

Buck and Eddie exchanged a glance and Buck gave a little shrug. He was happy to come back if Eddie was.

“Yes, we’ll be back.” Eddie confirmed.

“Excellent.” Elvira took a bite of the oatmeal bar. “Hmm. This is good. Thank you boys, I’ll see you later.”

With that, she turned and disappeared through the sparse trees.

For a moment they just stood there watching the empty space.

“Seems like that went well.” Eddie said eventually.

Buck sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I thought I’d royally fucked up your chances for a moment there.”

Eddie laughed. “I think she liked you.”

“Dad?” Chris asked, poking his head out of the tent. His curly hair was rucked up in some truly impressive bed head.

“Hey kiddo, you sleep okay?”

“Yeah.” Chris clumsily pushed his hair back, clearly still half asleep. Eddie had already warned the school he wouldn’t be in, he’d need the day to recover from his first shift.

“Who wants oatmeal bars?” Buck offered.

That certainly perked Chris up enough to eat. Eddie picked him up and Chris melted into him, head on his shoulder. He was always more cuddly when he was tired. So they set Chris up in his car seat to sleepily munch his way through an oatmeal bar while Buck and Eddie packed up the tent.

“So.” Eddie said as they folded blankets. “Samson Callow?”

“He’s a member of the Mortis. He led my stress testing one year, it sucked.” Buck grimaced at the memory. It had been a grueling three days.

Cocking his head, Eddie looked at him. “Stress testing?”

“Every couple years we have to go through testing, to prove we can handle our magic under stressful conditions.” It sucked, but it was necessary.

“And if you can’t?”

“It’s kind of a- case by case basis. Usually more training is required, sometimes other stuff I guess. But that’s like a- Mortis only kind of thing. I don’t know their processes.” Buck shrugged. It was something that had worried him as a child, when he was usually passing those tests by the skin of his teeth. But Buck had a better handle on things now.

“Huh.” Eddie said, but said nothing else about it.

When they were all packed up, they headed home.

-

Bobby had been suspended.

Things had been going so well at the firehouse that the news had completely blindsided Buck. Then Chim had stepped in as interim captain and almost immediately gone mad with power.

After a slew of complaint texts, Bobby had invited Buck to his and Athena’s place for a cooking lesson and dinner.

“He’s a maniac.” Buck said emphatically as he chopped salad.

“He’s not that bad.” Bobby sounded amused as he stirred a pot on the stove.

“He made me polish the engine three times! He kept saying he could still see streaks!” Waving the knife to emphasize his point, Buck grabbed another carrot.

That made Bobby laugh outright. “Okay. Maybe the power has gone a little to his head. But it’s a big adjustment, you have to give him some time.”

“That’s what Hen said.” Buck grumbled.

“Well Hen is a smart woman.”

That much was certainly true. Buck shrugged expansively. “Honestly, if anyone was going to get suspended I figured it would be me.”

Bobby looked at him oddly. “You thought you’d be suspended?”

“It kind of seemed like a matter of time. I’ve never been very good at like- following orders.”

Bobby grimaced thoughtfully. “Hmm. You’ve- you’ve definitely come a long way since you joined the 118.”

“Thanks Bobby.”

They were just beginning to plate dinner when the front door opened. Athena’s boots clipped down the stairs briskly and something about it caught Buck’s attention. When she appeared in the dining room, she looked straight at Buck.

“Athena?” Buck asked, brain suddenly flipping through a slide show of all the awful things that could have happened to the people he cared about.

“Wyatt Kane is dead.” Athena said simply.

Buck stared at her. Wyatt was dead. Wyatt, the young man that Buck had gone out for coffee with the previous weekend to talk about magic. Was dead.

“Who’s Wyatt Kane?” Bobby asked, looking between the two of them with worried eyes.

“He was a Mage-Technician at the precinct, a friend of Buck’s.” Athena explained as she pulled off her jacket and hung it over the back of one of the dining room chairs.

They hadn’t been close or anything, but it was upsetting to think the poor guy was dead. “Was it- was it the same?”

Athena nodded. “No cause of death, no clear magical residue. They- they want you to come in.”

Buck’s eyebrows rose. “To do a-”

“Not to do a death sight.” Athena said quickly, voice firm. It seemed she’d only gotten more determined that he shouldn’t have to do that since actually seeing it happen. “But you have the best idea of how the previous deaths felt. Caldwell wants you to see if you can sense anything different.”

“I’m sorry Buck.” Bobby said sympathetically, putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Thanks.” Buck gave him a slight smile. “I didn’t really know him that well but- he helped me out with the death sights.” Then Buck frowned. “Is that- do you think that’s why he was killed?”

Athena shook her head. “We don’t know. It might be a possibility, but there’s not enough evidence to suggest that right now.”

“Okay.” Buck took a breath. It didn’t feel like a coincidence but he would listen to Athena.

“Let’s eat. We can talk about it more when the food isn’t getting cold.” Bobby said briskly, clapping his hands together as he moved to finish plating up their dinner.

They sat down to eat.

In the end they didn’t really talk more about it, instead straying to other, lighter topics. There wasn’t a lot to say about Wyatt’s death just yet.

-

The next morning before his shift, Buck met Athena at the precinct. She scanned his expression as he got out of his jeep.

“Are you ready?”

Buck nodded. This part he knew well how to deal with, he’d seen plenty of dead bodies. Occasionally even the bodies of people he knew a little.

Detective Caldwell walked with them to the morgue. She looked tired and grim, even more determined than she had been last time he saw her. Even before this she had been pouring herself into the case, but it had just become that much more personal.

“He’s in here.” Caldwell said shortly, opening the morgue drawer.

Buck sucked in a breath. “It’s- more intense.”

“But it’s the same feeling?”

Nodding quickly, Buck tried to clear his head. “Definitely the same. But- worse somehow.”

“Anything else?”

Buck shook his head helplessly. “I’m sorry- I don’t- I wish I could be more helpful.”

Athena put a hand on his back. “You’ve helped baby, we’ll take it from here.”

Caldwell stayed behind so Athena was the only one to walk him out.

“Are you sure- I mean I could try another death sight, maybe-” But Buck already knew the likelihood of getting anything was slim, not if whoever was doing this knew about him.

“I know you want to help, but this isn’t your job. You’ve already gone above and beyond.” Athena assured him. “Now, are you sure you’ll be alright for your shift?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. Call me if there’s anything else I can do.”

Smiling, Athena patted his cheek. “I will. Be safe.”

“You too.”

In his car, Buck just sat there for a moment. He was beginning to think he might have to bring this to the attention of the Mortis.

Chapter Text

Buck was the last one to arrive for their shift, which was unusual given that he was almost always one of the first ones there. Not, as most people assumed, because he was trying to be the captain’s pet. Especially not when the captain was Chimney. The thing was, most days he was just bored without anything else to do and figured he may as well head into work early. Unless he was hanging out with Eddie or Maddie he didn’t often have much going on.

So the rest of the team was already hanging around the loft when Buck jogged up the stairs, still doing up the buttons on his uniform shirt. Eddie slid a cup of coffee with cream and sugar across the island. It was just as Buck liked it, though Buck was usually the one making people coffee in the mornings.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at Buck’s lateness and Buck gave him a tired smile.

“Cutting it close there Buckley.” Chim commented disapprovingly over his own mug of coffee.

Containing the urge to roll his eyes, Buck tried to seem apologetic. “Sorry I had to go into the precinct this morning.”

Buck could feel Eddie’s eyes on him as Chim raised an eyebrow. “Please tell me you weren’t arrested. If you were, you have to be the one to tell Maddie.”

Buck gave in and rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t arrested.”

“Then…?” Eddie prompted.

Sighing, Buck rubbed his chin. “Wyatt Kane was killed. Night before last.”

“Seriously?” Eddie stared at him. “Fuck.”

“Caldwell wanted me to come in and see what I could tell from the body.”

That made Eddie sit up straighter, expression going intense. “Not-”

Buck shook his head quickly. “Not a death sight. Just a- vibe check.” That was maybe too light hearted for the situation but it about summed up what he’d been asked to do.

At Hen and Chim’s blank looks, Buck explained who Wyatt was. They both seemed pretty mystified about the whole death sight thing, but it was easy enough to understand the rest of it.

“So.” Eddie said slowly, stirring his coffee. “It was the same as the others they asked you to look at? As the man we found?”

“The same but- worse somehow.”

“Worse?” Hen asked, frowning.

Tipping his head, Buck tried to think of a way to easily describe it. “It’s like this kind of- hollowed out feeling. Empty. All people, mage or not, have some amount of intrinsic magic. They leave an impression on the world. But the bodies I looked at, they were like empty rooms. And then Wyatt was like- like looking down a well.”

Eddie grimaced. “Poor guy.”

“I know. I didn’t know him that well but…” Buck shook his head. For the moment he decided not to share the idea that Wyatt might have been targeted because of his work. Like Athena had said, they didn’t have any real evidence for that yet. It would only make Eddie worry about him anyway.

“What could have done that?” Chim asked.

Buck spread his hands. “That’s the question.”

Shifting forward to get a proper look at Buck, Hen asked, “Are you sure you’re good to work today Buck?”

Buck smiled but waved away the well meaning concern. “I’m fine. I’ve done what I can to help, now I just want to get to work.”

They accepted this answer, and slowly the conversation turned to other topics.

At the first call of the morning, Buck found himself climbing over the edge of a bridge to calm a woman in her dressing gown who had decided to climb onto the metal grating in front of a road sign and hold up mid morning traffic. She was distressed, screaming over and over about how she wanted her husband to see her, to really see her. As much as Buck sympathized with her, he wished she could have just hired a billboard or something.

Still, she needed help. And Buck could provide it, so provide he would.

Eddie held his line as Buck dropped onto the metal platform, his work boots making it clang. The woman startled, staring at him like she’d never seen a person before.

“Hi.” Buck gave her a warm smile. “What’s your name?”

“Lola.” She looked like she hadn’t even meant to answer, but was too startled by him not to.

“Alright Lola. How about we see if we can get all this sorted out okay?”

While she was distracted, Chim directed the team in the effort below on the road to get an airbag situated underneath her.

“No!” She shrieked desperately, her hand flying to her side.

Suddenly there was a gun in her hand.

The tension at the scene skyrocketed. Out of the corner of his eye Buck could see people reacting on the ground but he kept his gaze on Lola.

Bang - Bang - Bang

Three shots right into the airbag. It deflated sadly as police and firefighters ran for cover. But Buck was stuck on the ledge with her, no cover for him without climbing back up. Buck’s magic reacted to the threat, crawling under his skin. He gave a little of his attention to making sure it wasn’t visible, he didn’t want to freak Lola out.

He glanced down at the road, at where Athena was half hidden behind a patrol car, gun in her hand. Despite the situation her expression was calm, watching Buck with sharp eyes. Not intervening just yet.

So Buck turned back to Lola. “Hey- okay. We can resolve this alright? My friend down there is looking for your husband.”

“D-don’t come any closer!” The woman warned, waving the gun at him. “Move back!”

There wasn’t any moving back unless Buck wanted to fall off the platform.

“Buck-” Chim called in warning.

Buck stayed where he was, hands up placatingly. “Let’s just talk about this. I’m here to help. You don’t have to do anything-”

Gesturing wildly at him with the gun, Lola only got more desperate. “No! I don’t want your help! I just- I just need Norman to see me, he just has to-”

There was a sound to their left, short, sharp. It made Lola jump, her hand tightening instinctively.

Bang

The impact thudded into Buck’s chest, making him grunt. Whether he was braced for it or not, getting shot always sucked. He stumbled back a step but his line pulled taught, yanking him back to safety before he could fall off the platform. The bullet bounced off him and fell through the grating, towards the deflated airbag below.

But Lola wasn’t so lucky as to have Eddie watching her back. When she stumbled, her foot met open air. She pitched backwards.

Too far to grab her, Buck thrust a hand towards her and his magic leaped to obey.

A single black tendril curled around her and pulled her back onto the metal platform with a loud clang.

“Okay.” Buck rubbed at the spot where the bullet had deflected off his sternum. “Ow. Can we not do that again?”

The woman stared at him, frozen with shock. “You- you’re a-”

Trying not to sound annoyed, Buck sighed. “Yeah I’m a death mage. And you just shot me, and I saved your life.”

The gun slipped from her numb fingers and clattered against the grating. The sound made Buck wince but it didn’t go off again.

“I didn’t- I’m sorry-”

Buck glanced up, catching Eddie’s wide eyes. Giving him a reassuring smile, Buck showed him his hand to prove there was no blood on his chest. Eddie’s expression relaxed just a little.

“Buck?” Athena called. It was only because he knew her that Buck could hear the note of tension in her voice.

“I’m good!” Buck called back, waving to her. Then he turned back to Lola and put his hands on his hips. “Do you think we could get you out of here now?”

“O-okay.” Lola agreed faintly.

The whole time Buck helped harness her, Lola never stopped shaking. He radioed Hen to have a shock blanket ready for her in the ambulance. They got her up and handed off to Hen and an officer on the bridge.

The moment Buck climbed over the railing, Eddie ran a hand over Buck’s shirt. Seemingly checking for himself that he was unharmed.

“Jesus Buck.” Eddie murmured. “What if she’d shot you in the head?”

Well that wouldn’t have been pretty. Buck opened his mouth to find an answer but he was distracted by Athena.

“Buck.” As he turned to her, Athena’s eyes flicked over his uniform shirt. “She didn’t hit you?”

“Ah- she did. I- caught it?” It wasn’t quite the right description.

Athena raised an eyebrow. “Caught it?”

Buck let the dark magic ripple visibly across his chest and shrugged. “Death magic. Better than kevlar. Doesn’t help if I don’t know it’s coming, but if someone is waving a gun at me I can brace for it. Won’t have anything worse than a bruise.”

Chimney appeared and punched him in the shoulder. “Dick. We thought she shot you!”

“She did shoot him.” Eddie growled.

“I’m fine.” Buck tried to soothe him.

Hen elbowed Chim and he jumped, seemingly remembering he was supposed to be the captain. “I mean- you handled that well. But now you have to let Hen check you out.”

When Hen beckoned him imperiously, Buck followed her to the ambulance. Sure enough, when she opened his shirt there was an impressive bruise but nothing worse.

Across from them Lola was being arrested, still wrapped in her shock blanket. Athena was supervising as an officer cuffed her.

“Wait- can I-” Lola asked, stepping a little towards Buck.

Buck just watched her with surprised eyes, and after a moment Athena nodded.

“I’m sorry for shooting you.” Lola said seriously.

The part that really surprised him, was that she seemed genuine. Like she really regretted shooting him and wasn’t just worried about retribution from a death mage.

“Oh. Thanks. Just- try not to shoot anyone else?” Buck suggested awkwardly.

Athena smiled at him, but schooled her expression back to grim when she looked at Lola. “Let’s go.”

As they walked away, Buck put his shirt back on. “I hope she doesn’t get too badly punished.”

Eddie just shook his head. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

-

As afternoon slid towards evening most of A shift relocated to the roof to enjoy the sun setting. Chim pretended to only grudgingly allow it, but he happily accepted a mug of the spiced hot chocolate Buck and Eddie had made.

They spaced the folding chairs out in a circle and sat around for a while, swapping stories as they drank hot chocolate. It didn’t feel quite complete, without Bobby there. But they had hope that he would be back soon, once the brass had sorted itself out. Though Bobby had lied when he applied, he’d been an exemplary captain since. Buck hoped they took that into account.

Eddie leaned over to Buck to show him a photo of Chris curled up with the stuffed toy wolf Buck had gotten for him. Face smushed into the arm of the couch, Chris was spark out. Carla had sent the caption ‘time for bed I think’.

Buck grinned, pleased. “I’m glad he likes it. I was a little worried it would be weird.”

Eddie shook his head. “Nah he loves it. Says it looks like you.”

That made Buck tip his head back and laugh. “Perfect.”

Then the alarm rang out, making several of them jump. Mugs were abandoned for Jonas, the man behind, to pick up.

Buck was first to the stairs and hustled down them.

Behind him he heard Hen wryly commenting, “Never seen a guy so eager to get back to work after being shot less than 24 hours ago.”

“You’re in the ladder truck!” Chim called after him in reminder. They’d been changing up the seating positions since Chim had been captain. Whether there was a purpose to it or Chim just liked mixing things up, Buck wasn’t sure.

“Yeah, yeah.” Buck called back. Following where Daniel was headed towards the ladder truck, Buck clapped his hands on his shoulders. “Shotgun!”

“I’m driving anyway.” Daniel said with a slight frown of confusion.

Laughing at them both, Sam bumped her shoulder against Hen’s. “Guess I’m in the engine with you lot then.”

“Kickin’ it with the cool kids.” Hen grinned.

“Hey!” Buck and Daniel protested in unison.

To the sound of laughter, they all took their seats and headed out.

One moment Daniel was explaining the scope of destruction caused by the Yellow River throughout history, Buck listening with rapt attention.

The next the world fell out from under them.

-

The first thing that registered was the agony in his leg. Buck groaned, head reeling. He forced his eyes open, looking blearly down at himself. Something red. After a moment his vision resolved into… the top of the ladder truck?

Buck shifted, but his leg was pinned.

His magic scrabbled ineffectually at the ladder truck, trying to find the coordination to push it up, off him. His magic had a mind of its’ own, but it was in shock too.

But his attention was pulled away by a figure approaching him through the smoke. A teenager.

“You’re the death mage.” The kid said, expression cruel as he looked down at Buck.

Raising himself up on one elbow, Buck fought through shock, trying to direct his magic.

“Somebody out there really doesn’t like you.” There was a slight smile pulling at his mouth now.

Buck made an incoherent noise of confusion, squinting.

The kid reached into his pocket and pulled out something dark. With an almost lazy flick of his hand, he tossed it at Buck.

The thing unfolded, oily black.

Curse.

Pain.

Buck screamed.

Chapter Text

For a moment Eddie was frozen to his seat. He was back in Afghanistan. He was in the middle of a warzone. An IED had taken out part of their convoy. The blast rang in his ears, drowning out all other sound.

His body moved before his brain caught up. He tore the door open and dropped onto the road, the impact jolting through his shins. Automatically his hand reached to his side for a gun that wasn’t there. He moved forwards-

Someone yanked him back by the back of his shirt. Pulling so hard the collar threatened to choke him. It only stopped him because it caught him entirely by surprise.

Still, he strained against the hold. Buck was in there.

That was the thought that tore him back into the present. Buck was in there. Eddie was in LA and Buck was hurt. Possibly-

No. He was a death mage. He was hard to kill. Buck would be fine.

“Buck!” He yelled, still trying to pull free.

“Eddie!” Hen cried out, appearing at his side to restrain Eddie’s arm.

Sam took the other arm, her face pale and worried as her eyes were locked on the wreckage, searching. It was hard to make anything out through the chaos.

Desperately, Eddie scanned the scene, trying to make sense of it through the flickering firelight and billowing smoke.

The entire ladder truck lay on its side, patches of oil burning across the asphalt. At first there was no sign of Buck. But then dark movement caught his eye. Buck’s magic. He was alive, that much was clear. But it scrambled and stretched weirdly, like it had no clear intent. Nothing like the purposeful magic that had held a building up to save Hen’s life.

“Eddie you can’t just run in to a scene like this.” Chim said firmly, helping the others restrain him. “If you don’t calm down I’m going to have to ziptie you to the engine.” Another time it would have been a joke, Chim’s eyes glinting with mirth. But here and now Captain Han was deadly serious.

Eddie stopped straining against their hold, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from where Buck’s magic twitched and flailed. Below it on the floor, Eddie could just about make out the figure of Buck lying there. Too still.

Then another figure appeared. A teenager in a black hoodie, with something strapped to his chest. He stopped beside Buck for a moment, seeming to say something. Then he flicked something dark at Buck.

Buck screamed.

Eddie flinched, a full body, involuntary reaction that had Hen, Chim and Sam all tightening their grip on him. He growled low in his throat, his wolf instincts much closer to the surface since he’d stopped taking the wolfsbane.

The kid was yelling something, demanding something. All Eddie could hear was the way Buck screamed. It was hoarse and shrill, tending towards something inhuman. Eddie had seen Buck’s insane pain tolerance first hand. He couldn’t begin to imagine the kind of agony that would make Buck scream like that.

Chim walked out, yelling something back at the teenager. Eddie wished he could focus well enough to hear what was happening. Then Bobby was there too.

The patch of magic on Eddie’s back, the one he’d grown so used to he barely even thought about it, flickered. Eddie’s awareness narrowed to his back. It writhed, stretched. And disappeared. Eddie went cold. Buck couldn’t be-

Silence fell across the scene.

If Eddie thought Buck’s screaming was bad, the silence was worse. Caught up in watching events unfold, Hen and Sam had relaxed their grip on his arms. So Eddie tore free.

He heard footsteps thudding behind him as he sprinted into the scene, ignoring all else and heading straight for Buck. Eddie’s heart stuttered unevenly at the sight of him. One leg pinned under the ladder truck. Face pale and taught with pain, eyes closed. Strange oily black magic clung across his chest like it was trying to burrow under his skin. Buck’s own shadowy magic fought against it, trying to peel it away over and over again. But it was tenacious, spreading slowly despite Buck’s efforts.

Eddie fell to his knees, ignoring the jolt of pain. With trembling hands he reached for Buck, but hesitated, afraid to make things worse.

“Buck-” He choked. Even through his panic, he knew that if this curse spread to him it would only get stronger, only hurt Buck more. So he didn’t touch him.

Buck’s eyes fluttered open, catching on to him with clouded recognition. He made a soft sound, like he was trying to say something to Eddie.

“Buck.” Eddie said again, helpless this time. For the first time, he wished he was a mage.

A tendril of magic reached towards Eddie. Watching it, Eddie stayed still and let it approach. The tendril tapped twice on Eddie’s chest, a cool touch.

It only took him a moment to realize what it was doing. Buck asking permission even now, despite the circumstances.

“Yeah.” Eddie said roughly, infinitely relieved to be able to help. “Yeah Buck, hold on.”

The magic sank into his chest, colder now than it had been the last time. It almost burned, but Eddie didn’t care. Even like this, Eddie trusted Buck with his life.

“What is that?” Hen asked, staring at the shadow disappearing into Eddie’s chest.

Eddie hadn’t even noticed her there at his side. “It’s an anchor. It will help keep him alive.” At least, Eddie really hoped it would.

“Okay.” Hen said, sounding like she didn’t understand but was willing to accept it. “We don’t have the resources to deal with a curse like this.” She voiced what they all knew.

“The mage team are almost here.” Chim said, standing near them. “They’ll have to take care of it.”

“Do we know how he is?” Bobby asked. He and Athena joined their huddle.

Hen shook her head, despairing. “It’s hard to tell. He’s awake but he’s not really responsive- I just-” She spread her hands.

They all hated to feel helpless.

“They’re here.” Athena said sharply.

Everyone other than Eddie retreated to give them room to work.

Three people filled in around Buck, all of them in the dark purple uniforms of the dedicated magic response teams. There were only four of them across LA, and according to Buck people coveted spaces on their teams.

“Looks like a magic eater. Category three at least.” A person with dark hair said.

A woman, the captain judging by the stripe of yellow across her shoulder, glanced at Eddie. “Get him out of here.”

The dark haired person moved to Eddie then stopped. “He’s anchored.” They sounded shocked by the revelation.

The captain’s head whipped around, her cool stare boring into Eddie. “He anchored to you?” Her name badge said her surname was Lawrence.

“I let him.” Eddie said stubbornly, refusing to let her think Buck had forced anything on him.

Lawrence made a disbelieving noise in the back of her throat. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is when he’s like this?” She thrust a hand sharply at Buck, gesturing both to the curse and Buck’s lack of awareness.

“I trust him.” Eddie insisted, bristling at her tone.

Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done. But some deep instinct said that Buck’s magic wouldn’t hurt him. It was the reason he’d been so comfortable with Buck using his magic around Christopher.

Buck’s magic was a reflection of himself and at its core, it was kind.

Though the captain shook her head at him, she made no further attempt to pull him away from the scene.

The mages got to work. It was clear, at least, they knew what they were doing. They worked smoothly as one, passing components back and forth to set up the ritual they needed. It was more involved than the way Buck used magic, there were more moving parts. This was what Buck had meant, about being able to brute force through magic with sheer power.

Their magic wasn’t nearly as visible as Buck’s, whether by nature or design. It was more like a mirage, a strange rippling of the air, only slightly tinted with colour.

Eddie sat back on his knees, flooding his mind with thoughts of Buck. Of any moment they’d spent together. Hoping desperately it would help, even a little. Would give Buck a line to follow home.

Time stretched, interminable, awful limbo.

But these mages were in the dedicated response team for a reason. There was a strange kind of tearing sound, and the curse peeled away from Buck’s chest. The dark haired person was ready and waiting to catch it in a containment chest. They locked it efficiently and whisked it away to their van.

Lawrence sat back and brushed her hair out of her face. “He’s clean.”

Immediately Eddie reached out and pressed his fingers to Buck’s neck. His pulse was slow, but it was there. Now he just seemed to be sleeping, his expression no longer twisted with pain.

“Right let’s get him out of there.” Lawrence shifted closer to the ladder truck. “You ready to pull?” She glanced at Eddie.

Moving to get his hands under Buck’s shoulders, Eddie nodded determinedly.

Metal and glass creaked. “Pull.” Lawrence ordered.

Eddie did as he was told, pulling Buck into his chest. The leg was a mess of blood and magic. But Buck’s magic was much weaker than it should be.

“We have to get him to the hospital.” Bobby said, brows furrowed with worry as the team moved closer again.

Hen began assessing the Buck’s condition as best as she could.

“You can’t.” Lawrence said, flat and insistent.

Bobby turned to her. “What?”

“You can’t take him to a hospital. He’s a death mage.” It sounded as though she was annoyed at having to explain this to them, like it should be glaringly obvious.

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Athena demanded, like a queen commanding an answer from a subject.

Lawrence snorted like an agitated horse. “If you take him into a hospital you are endangering the lives of every person there. Hell- you’re endangering yourselves just being close to him.”

Now Bobby looked angry, angrier than Eddie had ever seen him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, you don’t!” She jabbed a finger at Buck. “His magic has been eaten away. He’s injured. If you put him near someone close to death, he’s going to reach out and kill them to take the power for himself.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Eddie growled.

“I don’t know what this guy had told you, or who he is. I don’t care if he’s some fucking saint! This is survival. Instinct. You give him the opportunity and people are going to die.”

“Then what would you suggest?” Athena asked coldly, an eyebrow arched as though daring Lawrence to continue.

But Lawrence was one of the few people not to be cowed by the full weight of Athena’s disapproval because she continued. “I would suggest taking him to the desert and leaving him there. He will recover or he won’t, there’s nothing you can do for him now.” She shook her head. “But if you’re insistent on keeping him around, just take him home.”

With that, Lawrence turned on her heel and stalked away, taking the rest of her team with her.

For a moment, the rest of them could only stare at one another.

“He can stay with me.” Eddie said without thinking. He still had Buck leaning up against him, Buck’s head resting back against his chest. The mere thought of taking Buck to his shitty little apartment and leaving him there was awful.

Bobby frowned at him. “Do you have a guest room?”

That made Eddie falter. “No. But he can have the bedroom and I can stay on the sofa.”

Athena watched him, like she could see right through to his flayed open heart. “You’re certain he won’t be a danger?”

Eddie’s back stiffened in protest.

Holding up a hand to stall his reaction, Athena continued. “I’m not suggesting he would willingly hurt anyone. But magic can be dangerous if not handled properly, and he is not in any condition to handle it.”

“He won’t hurt anyone.” The conviction felt a little ridiculous when, in the grand scheme of things, Eddie didn’t know that much about magic. But he was certain anyway. “I know him Athena. I know his magic. I don’t think we have anything to fear from him.”

Athena nodded curtly. “Then we have a guest room. He can stay there and we can take turns keeping an eye on him. You’re welcome any time.”

“You and Chris.” Bobby assured him.

Chris. God, how was Eddie going to tell Chris about this? So soon after everything that had happened with Shannon. She was very nearly well enough to leave the hospital, and now this? Eddie just nodded numbly.

“We can take him in the ambulance.” Hen suggested. “Eddie can ride in the back with him.”

That seemed right, Eddie wasn’t prepared to part with him yet.

“Headquarters is aware of what happened, we’re all off duty for the rest of shift.” Chim said as they prepared to get Buck onto a gurney. “Sam texted me from the hospital, Daniel’s going to need surgery but they’re optimistic.”

Eddie blinked, guilty that he’d forgotten there was someone else on the ladder truck. But he’d been taken care of, Buck was his priority.

Together they carefully loaded Buck into the back of the ambulance. Eddie sat on the bench seat, Buck’s hand clasped between both of his. The anchor in his chest was fading, and Eddie found himself praying that didn’t mean Buck was too.

As they drove to Bobby and Athena’s house, Eddie talked to Buck. Nonsense mostly, he hardly knew what he was saying.

But over and over, he begged Buck to wake up.

Chapter Text

There was an awful sense of deja vu swirling in Eddie’s gut as they drove towards Bobby and Athena’s house. Sitting in the back of an ambulance, holding the hand of someone he- cared for, praying they would be alright.

Chim and Athena had to stay behind at the scene to deal with the fallout, so Bobby drove and Hen stayed in the back, carefully monitoring Buck’s vitals. By any usual standards, Buck seemed to be doing very well for someone with a crush injury that severe. Whether he was doing well by death mage standards, they didn’t know how to tell. He was just lying there, face pale and gaunt, his hand cold against Eddie’s palm.

Bobby used the lights and sirens, though they weren’t exactly in a rush. There wasn’t much they would be able to do for Buck at the house that they couldn’t do in the ambulance. But they wanted to at least make him comfortable, to give him the best possible chance to heal.

More than anything, Eddie hated feeling so helpless. He wanted something tangible to do, something that would actually make a difference.

What was the protocol for when a death mage was badly injured? What had Buck done when he’d been hurt before? He’d said himself that he didn’t go into hospitals. Eddie had the sinking feeling that what Lawrence suggested, him being dumped somewhere and left to survive or die by himself, had happened before. It added another piece to the puzzle of Buck, explained a little more why he was so very cavalier about getting hurt.

They arrived at the house in one piece, though Eddie’s nerves were fraying. Bobby came to the back to help them. They were all quiet, only talking as necessary. It seemed none of them knew what else to say, too caught in their own private worries.

With Eddie’s supernatural strength, he could easily hold Buck’s weight. The problem was, Buck was big enough to be unwieldy, difficult to carry without risking further injury. So Hen carefully splinted Buck’s leg to keep it still and somehow between the three of them they maneuvered Buck into the guest room.

Hen went back to the ambulance to see if there was anything that might be useful before she had to drive it back to the station for the relief crew. Eddie carefully cut away Buck’s tattered and bloodstained uniform, leaving him in his underwear before Eddie and Bobby covered him with the bedspread. Briefly Eddie thought of the drawer of Buck’s clothing that had somehow migrated into Eddie’s bedroom from his overnight stays. If they’d taken him to Eddie’s they could have changed him into something comfortable right away, none of Bobby’s stuff would quite fit right. But it didn’t matter, Eddie would bring something later.

There was nothing more to be done just then. But Eddie couldn’t bear to leave him, not yet. He hovered at the end of the bed, just staring at Buck’s sleeping face.

“I’m going to sit with him.” Eddie said, gaze caught on Buck.

For a long moment, Bobby just looked at him. Like there was something waiting on the tip of his tongue to be said. But when he opened his mouth, it was like he decided to say something else. “Are you alright?”

Eddie gave him an exasperated look. “I’m fine. I wasn’t even that near the blast.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Bobby said, almost gentle.

Eddie’s eyes pricked in a way that could be tears if he let it. He forced himself to look away, blinking hard.

Closing the distance between them, Bobby hugged him. At first Eddie was frozen. Then he returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Bobby’s back. There was a tremor in Bobby’s chest and Eddie suddenly realized that he was deeply affected by this too. That it had scared him, seeing Buck like that. It had scared Eddie too.

That realization, that he wasn’t alone in this feeling, let Eddie press his forehead to Bobby’s shoulder. He took a deep, shuddering breath.

“We’re going to do whatever we can for him.” Bobby said with conviction. “I don’t care what she said, there has to be something.”

“Yeah.” Eddie said thickly, pulling back and swiping at the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. “Yeah, there has to be- something.”

Pressing a comforting hand to Eddie’s shoulder, Bobby nodded. “We’ll get everyone together, work something out.”

That felt right, to have the people that cared about Buck find a way to help.

“I’m going to make us all something to eat.” Bobby patted Eddie’s shoulder again, and tweaked Buck’s blankets up as he passed.

Then Eddie was left alone in the room. There was no chair in the bedroom, so Eddie took a seat on the edge of the bed. Tucked into bed like this, it seemed as though Buck was simply asleep. Like Sleeping Beauty waiting to be woken, Eddie thought chaotically.

It made him look younger too. Like a little glimpse into the younger version of Buck that had trekked across the country searching for somewhere permanent. Somewhere he could call home, where people would accept him and care for him. Now that Buck had found it, Eddie was determined to help him fight to stay.

Buck was always better when he was around people. Not just when they were talking and laughing. Simply being in the proximity of others seemed to make him brighter. So Eddie hoped having others nearby when he was recovering would help Buck. Maybe contact would help too.

Eddie gave into the urge to hold Buck’s hand again, like he had in the ambulance.

After a while, Eddie heard the front door opening, talking in the main room. He ignored it for the moment, they would come get him when they were ready to talk.

But then the bedroom door opened and Maddie stepped inside. She was flushed and windswept, clearly having rushed there.

“How is he?” She asked breathlessly.

Eddie stood automatically, moving down the bed to make room for her. “Stable.” He said simply, because that was as much as he knew.

Taking the spot Eddie had just vacated, Maddie reached to put her hand on Buck’s forehead as though checking his temperature. It seemed natural, like something she’d done before. Given the little Buck had said about his childhood, it wouldn’t surprise him if she had been the only one to do it for him.

“What did you do when Buck got hurt as a kid?” Eddie asked suddenly, realizing there surely must have been something they did.

Maddie blinked at him in surprise. Her eyes were glistening with tears but she wasn’t quite crying. “Mostly he healed himself, especially when he got older. Alexandra taught him how, I think. But if it was especially bad we were told to contact her, never take him to a hospital.”

That made him feel just a little better about not taking Buck to the hospital despite what Captain Lawrence had said. “Do you have a way to contact Alexandra?”

Mouth turning down at the corners, Maddie shook her head. “I don’t. It’s been eighteen years since I needed to.”

Eddie sighed, but that was what he’d expected. He couldn’t even try to find her number in Buck’s phone, it had been shattered in the blast. “There has to be a way to contact her.”

Biting her lip, Maddie frowned in thought. “Mom never gets rid of anything, she might still have something we could-” Then Maddie sat up straighter. “Oh- I haven’t called Mom and Dad. I should- I should call them and tell them what happened.”

Eddie had to bite the inside of his mouth to tamp down on the gut reaction he had. He wanted to tell her not to bother, that Buck’s parents didn’t deserve to be notified of anything happening in his life. But if there was even a slim chance it could help, then it had to be done.

As Maddie stepped out into the garden to make her call, Eddie joined the others at the dining table. Hen was back from returning the ambulance, Chim and Athena had managed to slip away from the scene. No doubt there would be questions and debriefs tomorrow, but for the moment they were all free to stay there.

Bobby served the baked chicken and they all ate, despite no one having that much of an appetite. They were all seasoned enough first responders to know when they should eat despite how they felt.

When Maddie returned it was clear that she really had been crying. She looked at Eddie. “They don’t know.” She said shortly.

Chim went to hug her as the others looked between the two of them.

“Who doesn’t know what?” Athena asked.

“Maddie’s parents don’t know how to get in contact with Buck’s mentor.” Eddie explained with a sigh.

“You think his mentor might be able to help?” Bobby asked, hope bleeding into his tone.

Spreading his hands, Eddie gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know. But it seems like our best shot.” Whether she would be willing to help, Eddie had no clue. He couldn’t help but remember the look on Buck’s face as he’d explained how Alexandra had told him he was a monster at only ten years old.

“Well then.” Athena said seriously. “Let’s find ourselves a death mage. What do we know about her?”

“Her full name is Alexandra Crest-holme. She moves around a lot. Other than that…” Maddie trailed off helplessly, mouth pulling down at the corners with misery. No doubt she wished as much as Eddie did to be of more help.

Athena raised an eyebrow, expression settling into something determined. “Alexandra Crest-holme. I see.”

-

Early the next morning, Eddie went to relieve Carla of looking after Christopher. It was earlier than he would have been getting off shift, had everything gone as normal. But Eddie had ended up dozing fitfully on the guest bed next to Buck. He kept waking up and checking Buck’s pulse, making sure it was still thudding slowly. They had made a loose schedule of people to make sure Buck wouldn’t be left alone for too long in the next few days. But eventually Eddie was awake and itching to move.

So Eddie quietly unlocked the front door and stepped into his house. Carla was already awake, sitting at the dining table on her laptop. She frowned as soon as she caught sight of Eddie’s expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Buck was injured last night.” Eddie said simply. For Carla there was no need to sugarcoat it.

Carla sat up straighter. “How badly?”

Unable to mask the grimace, Eddie ducked his head. “Badly. His magic is working to heal him but it’s… it’s hard to tell. He seems stable at least.”

“Oh Eddie.” Standing, Carla wrapped Eddie in a hug. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No, no.” Eddie shook his head. “Thanks Carla. But Buck’s at Bobby’s place, we’ll probably head over there.”

“Well if you need anything, you call me alright? It’s not a chore to watch Chris, he’s a great kid.”

“Thank you.”

When Carla was gone, Eddie poked his head into Christopher’s room. He was awake, just about, and he smiled at Eddie.

Returning the smile automatically, Eddie stepped inside and sat on the edge of the bed. He tried to school his expression so he wouldn’t worry Chris. “Hey bud-”

“Something happened.” Chris said immediately, struggling to sit up. He was entirely too insightful. “Is it mom?”

Eddie shook his head. “No, your mom is fine-”

“Buck?” Chris pressed.

Eddie sighed shakily. “He’s alive.” Though he’d been hoping to delay the conversation until Chris was a little more awake, he would have to just tell him. He didn’t want Chirs imagining anything more awful than the truth of it. “But he was hurt. He’s in a- in a coma. Sleeping, like your mom was.”

Absorbing this quietly Chris looked up at Eddie. “So he’ll be okay?”

God, how to answer that when Eddie had no idea himself? Eddie didn’t want to scare him, but he didn’t want to lie and give him false hope either. This time there were no doctors to have faith in. He supposed they would have to put all their faith in Buck. “Buck is tough. And his magic is trying really hard to heal him. But we don’t know when he’ll wake up.”

This time Chris is quiet for a long time, thinking. Eddie pulls him into a hug and just lets him process.

Finally Chris lifted his head and asked, “Can I see him?”

That was one perk of him not being in a hospital, Eddie supposed. They could see Buck whenever they wanted. “Yeah, we can go see him this morning if you want. He’s at Bobby’s house.”

“Good.” Chris said firmly, already squirming out of Eddie’s hold so he could get dressed. “Buck likes Captain Bobby a lot.”

“Yeah.” Eddie agreed, ruffling Chris’ curls. “Yeah he does bud. Bobby’s gonna make breakfast for everyone.”

Leaving Chris to get dressed, Eddie went to his room and collecting some clothes for Buck. Chris was right, as much as Eddie would have liked to have Buck at his house, Bobby and Athena’s place was probably better for him. Easier to have more people around him that way. Then Eddie packed a bag of things Chris might need for the day.

Chris was ready in record time, but he’d put his shirt on inside out. Once that was sorted, they headed out to the truck.

Chapter Text

Eddie led Chris into the house. Letting Chris navigate the stairs by himself, Eddie kept a close eye on him. Much as Chris was good with his crutches, the hardwood stairs made Eddie nervous.

But he made it down just fine.

Athena, Maddie and Chim had set up shop in the living room, searching for Alexandra. It seemed that so far they weren’t having much luck, judging by the pinched look on their faces. Eddie was just hoping Buck would wake up on his own and all the searching would be unnecessary.

Bobby was in the kitchen cooking up a storm. They all knew Bobby wasn’t the best with technology, so wasn’t much help with the search. Apparently his way of coping was cooking.

Chris briefly said hi to everyone but was so clearly eager to see Buck that Eddie led him straight to the guest room.

Lying there on the bed, Buck looked much the same as he had when Eddie left that morning. But it settled something in him to see Buck in person, to watch the way his chest rose and fell as he breathed quietly. Still alive, just sleeping. But there were still scrapes across his face, ones that would have healed in seconds on a normal day.

Chris climbed awkwardly up onto the bed and settled next to Buck. Much like they had curled up together on the sofa during movie nights. Eddie took Chris’ crutches and leaned them against the nightstand within his reach.

“Do you think he can hear me?” Chris asked, examining Buck’s face like it might give him an answer.

“I don’t know.” Eddie admitted, sitting down beside them and giving in to the urge to take Buck’s hand. “But if he can, I bet he’d like to hear your voice.”

“Okay.” For a moment Chris seemed to consider what to say. “Hey Buck. Dad said you got hurt pretty bad. I know you’ve gotta sleep so you can get better, but we’re gonna wait for you to wake up. We’re here.” He patted Buck’s arm comfortingly.

“That’s right kiddo.” Eddie brushed a hand over Chris’ curls. “We’ll be waiting for you Buck.”

Chris looked up at Eddie. “Can we read to him? Like you do for me when I’m sick?”

Eddie nodded, swallowing against the tightness in his throat. “Sure. What do you want to read to him?”

“Maybe the dinosaur book?”

Eddie had always stuck to fiction books when reading to Chris. But then Buck had read out an information book on dinosaurs and Chris had absolutely loved it. It had been his favorite read for weeks, he just kept asking for it. Which was lucky because his obsession with it also meant Eddie had thought to bring it with them.

“That sounds perfect. How about we do that after breakfast okay?”

Bobby’s food was excellent as always, though everyone was distracted. Chris somehow kept the conversation going by holding court about whatever came to mind. It wasn’t often he had the attention of so many adults, all of whom had no interest at that moment in starting a conversation of their own. It was a welcome distraction from their worry.

After breakfast, Eddie and Bobby worked together to change Buck into the soft pyjamas Eddie had brought over.

As soon as they were done, Eddie brought Chris in to read to Buck. Eddie hoped that, even if he couldn’t hear them, Buck would be comforted by their presence. To his credit, Chris read good chunks of the book, Eddie taking over when he was struggling too much.

When Chris eventually tired of the book, Eddie handed over Chris’ switch and left him to it. Chris knew to call for him if Buck woke up or anything else changed.

Eddie went to the living room to check on their progress when the doorbell chimed. Assuming it was Hen, as she’d said she would come by when she could, Eddie went to answer the door.

A woman stood on the doorstep. She had dark hair streaked with gray, pulled into a braid that sat over one shoulder. She wore jeans, a t-shirt and a battered leather jacket. Overall a completely average looking woman that you wouldn’t look twice at if you passed her on the street.

“I’m here to see Evan.” She said bluntly, as if she expected Eddie to just step aside with no more explanation.

Crossing his arms, Eddie was immediately on the defensive. “Who are you?”

“I’m his guardian. Let me see Evan.”

“Who is it?” Athena called from the living room, looking up at them.

“Alexandra.” Eddie said numbly as he put the pieces together. Somehow he’d expected her to look more intimidating.

Alexandra raised an eyebrow. “He told you about me?”

“Yes.” Eddie stepped aside, letting her in.

“Hmm.” Was her only reaction as she walked down the stairs like she’d been there a hundred times before.

“How did you find us here?” Athena asked, looking at Alexandra like she was a particularly difficult case to solve.

“I keep tabs on my ward.” she said as though that should have been obvious. Her gaze flickered past Athena. “Maddie.”

“Hi.” Maddie sounded a little awkward. “It’s been a while.”

“Yes it has. Now can I see Evan?”

Athena glanced at Eddie, then Maddie. Maddie gave a little helpless shrug. Eddie nodded. This was what they’d been looking for anyway, even if it wasn’t happening in the way they’d expected.

“Of course. Let me-” Athena made as if to show her the way, but apparently she didn’t need to.

Alexandra went straight through the dining room and deeper into the house. Moving quickly after her, Eddie wasn’t keen on letting her just meet Chris alone.

Chris looked up as Alexandra stepped in, Eddie hot on her heels. “Who are you?”

Pausing, Alexandra seemed caught off guard. Clearly she’d been expecting Buck to be alone. “I could ask the same question of you, young man.” Her tone was just a touch softer.

Turning to Eddie, Chris gave him a confused look.

“This is Alexandra. Buck’s mentor.” Eddie explained.

“Oh. You taught him magic. Buck told me about you.”

Alexandra smiled, just a twitch in the corner of her mouth. “Did he now?”

“My name is Chris.” He offered his hand out to shake.

Ignoring the handshake, Alexandra just nodded at Chris. “Nice to meet you. Now, I need a few moments alone with Buck, if you don’t mind.”

Chris gave Eddie a look that said ‘who is this lady?’

Swallowing a laugh, Eddie reached to help Chris off the bed. “Come on, let’s let her have a minute.”

“Will you help Buck?” Chris asked as Eddie carried him and his crutches out.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Alexandra said noncommittally as she closed the door behind them.

Clearly everyone had been listening to the interaction, because they were all staring at Eddie and Chris as they stepped back into the dining room. For a long moment there was silence as they all looked at one another, wondering whether that really just happened.

“She’s kinda weird.” Chris said softly.

“You said it little man.” Chim agreed emphatically, putting his arm around Maddie.

“Well. I guess I won’t be needing this.” Athena closed the laptop she was using to try to find Alexandra.

“Is she always like that?” Bobby asked hesitantly.

“She’s always been… abrupt?” Maddie said slowly. “But I guess I never really spent much time with her as a kid, just saw her when she was picking Buck up for his lessons.”

“Maybe she’s worried about Buck.” Chris suggested as Eddie settled him at the table.

That suggestion seemed to brighten Bobby’s expression. “Maybe she is.”

They waited in tense silence for her reappearance. Eddie planted himself at the end of the corridor, listening out for- he wasn’t sure what. Any strange noises, or even just talking. But there was nothing.

The first thing he heard was footsteps, so he moved to make it look like he hadn’t been trying to listen in.

Alexandra looked calm and composed as she closed the door behind her.

“How is he?” Eddie asked first.

Alexandra waved a dismissive hand in a move so reminiscent of Buck that Eddie wondered if he’d picked it up from her. “He’ll be fine.”

“Fine?” Maddie echoed. “He’s in a coma.”

“It’s not really a coma. It’s…” Her eyes darted around the room as though assessing her audience and she just shook her head. “He’ll be fine.”

“When will he wake up?” Bobby asked, quiet but firm.

Tipping her head, Alexandra considered the question. “That’s hard to predict. I imagine he’ll be out for another two days at least.”

“Is there anything we can do to help him?” Eddie pressed. They would do just about anything for him at this point.

The look Alexandra gave him was impossible to read. “You are really so eager to help him?”

“Yes.” Eddie ground out, trying to tamp down on the instinctive annoyance. “I am. So what can I do?”

Her gaze flickered to Eddie’s chest. “He anchored to you.” Reaching out, she pressed the tip of her finger to the place where Buck’s magic had latched onto him. There was only a faint residual cool feeling left.

“Does that surprise you?” Eddie couldn’t quite help the belligerent tone.

“Less than it should.” She took her hand back. “You’re already doing what you can by being near him.”

Eddie sighed. He was glad his instinct had been spot on, but he wished there was more.

“We were about to have lunch.” Bobby said, halting her retreat. “Would you like to join us?” Whether it was just an innocent invitation or a calculated effort to keep her around was unclear, it was always hard to tell with Bobby.

For a moment Alexandra looked at Bobby like he’d suddenly started speaking a strange foreign language. She glanced back, to the closed guest room door Buck was sleeping behind. Then she shook her head. “I have to go.” She said finally. “I have other business to deal with in the city. But-” She moved to the notepad and pen Bobby kept by the fridge because he preferred to make paper grocery lists. Quickly jotting something down, she turned and handed the paper to Eddie. “Contact me when he wakes up.”

Taking the noted phone number, Eddie nodded. Though he still wasn’t sure what to make of the woman, she continued to be their best source of information for as long as Buck was out of it. And who knew what kind of condition he would be in when he did wake up.

Then Alexandra turned and walked out the door.

It all felt a little anticlimactic to have her come in and declare everything was just fine.

Chim scratched the back of his head. “So Buck really spent his teenage years living with her huh? That must have been… interesting.”

That caught Athena’s attention. “He lived with her as a teenager?”

“He chose to leave home and live with her when he was ten.” Maddie explained.

Eddie frowned. “He didn’t choose to leave.” He said without really thinking.

Maddie’s head whipped around to stare at him. “What do you mean?”

Abruptly, Eddie realized he should have kept his mouth shut. This seemed like a sibling thing he shouldn’t be getting in the middle of. Not when he didn’t have all the details, only the random snippets Buck gave randomly.

“Maybe you should talk to Buck.” Eddie said evasively.

Narrowing her eyes, Maddie stepped closer to him. “No. What do you mean ‘he didn’t choose to leave?’” She was full of sisterly concern.

Eddie spread his hands. “I don’t know all the details. But I don’t think he left of his own accord. As far as I can tell your parents gave up custody to Alexandra.”

Maddie’s mouth fell open in an ‘o’. “But- why would they do that?”

Eddie shrugged. “Why would they refuse to come here when they know Buck’s been hurt?”

“That’s-” Brows pulling together, Maddie’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “They’ve just- they’ve never understood Buck-”

“Like I said, I don’t have all the details.” Eddie wished he’d kept his mouth shut. “You should really talk to Buck when he wakes up.” He found himself desperately glad that, thanks to Alexandra, he could confidently say ‘when’ Buck woke up, not ‘if’.

“Yeah.” Maddie said softly.

“Right. Chris? Wanna keep hanging out with Buck?”

“Yeah.” Chris agreed instantly.

Once they were back in the guest room, Chris looked up at Eddie. “Dad? Do Buck’s parents not like him?”

Eddie bit the inside of his cheek, realizing he should have had that conversation where Chris couldn’t hear. “I don’t know bud, I’ve never met them.”

“But they’re not here. He’s hurt. You always come when I get hurt.” Chris insisted.

“Yeah I do.” Eddie agreed, brushing a hand over Chris' hair. “But they aren’t here so we’re just-” He looked for the right words.

“We’re his family.” Chris said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You’re right.” Eddie said, only realizing the truth of it as he said it out loud. “We’re his family so we’re going to look after him.”

With that, they settled in to read some more of the dinosaur book. As he looked over at Buck, he realized the scrapes on his face didn’t look as bad as they had that morning. His magic was working to heal him.

Chapter Text

Buck opened his eyes and didn’t recognize the ceiling. That was something that had happened far too often throughout his life to cause any panic. But when he tried to remember whether he’d hooked up with a stranger or shelled out for a motel, his brain fumbled and stalled.

Okay so he’d been hurt. When he was hurt badly enough to be knocked unconscious he usually woke up where he’d fallen, so this was different. Besides, the room was far too nice to be a motel, and he almost always woke up first from one night stands.

The last thing he could remember… The last thing he could remember was pain. The kind of pain that even he couldn’t just shake off.

The ladder truck, the teenager, the magic eater. It all felt like a jagged dream. But the deep ache embedded in his muscles and the thudding pain in his leg was real enough. He was cold too, and stiff. Like the Grey had already reached out to make him a corpse.

When he reached for his magic it responded sluggishly, working even slower than his mind was. He hadn’t been this magic deprived in years, not since the last time he’d encountered a magic eater on a job in Arkansas.

But there was something about the cool tranquility of his magic that reminded him of Alexandra. Of the days when her magic would frequently brush against his as she taught him how to use it. Or the times when she’d had to replenish his magic when he’d everextended himself. It had been a long time since those days but the thought of her magic was still comforting, calming. She’d been his only constant as they kept moving from state to state.

Alexandra had never wanted to be a parent to Buck, had always made it clear that wasn’t her role in his life. But she had always been a safe space for him. Someone who cared in her own, odd brisk way.

Buck sat up, using the headboard for stability as the world rocked around him like a ship in a storm. His leg ached something fierce but he was pretty confident it would hold his weight. If Buck was honest with himself, his entire body ached from skin to bone marrow. The phantom weight of the curse still pressed against his chest, sticky and cloying.

Buck hated just about everything that came along with a curse like that, but more than anything he hated the way it tried to crawl inside his skin. Especially one as powerful as that.

Someone had to have called in a mage team to deal with it, Buck was one of the few mages in California that could have dealt with it on his own, if it hadn’t latched on to him. Though, alone even he might not have been able to save the person it took.

As he examined the feeling in his chest though, there was something else in his chest. Like a phantom heartbeat. Eddie. It felt like Eddie’s heartbeat. It was almost more prominent than Buck’s own heartbeat, which was slowed. He’d lost so much magic it had slowed down his whole body.

Buck slowly forced himself to his feet. His leg screamed in protest but he leaned heavily against the wall. In the grand scheme of ‘bad things that had happened to Buck’ this sucked, but it wasn’t near the worst.

It took more concentration than it should to put one foot in front of another. It felt like all his limbs belonged to someone else as he forced himself forward with willpower and stubbornness. Step by step, heading for the door.

The door opened.

“Buck-” Eddie stared at him like he’d seen a ghost.

“Hey.” Buck gave a little half hearted wave from where he leaned against the wall.

“Jesus- what are you doing?” Recovering from the surprise, Eddie moved jerkily toward Buck.

He seemed upset. That wasn’t right, Eddie shouldn’t be upset. Buck frowned at him, trying to kick his brain into gear. “Sorry.” Buck said reflexively, though he wasn’t sure what was wrong.

God, Buck hated how loopy magic deprivation made him. And the longer he was upright the harder it was getting to think.

“No- don’t-” Eddie shook his head and wrapped an arm under Buck’s shoulders, taking some of his weight.

Buck melted gratefully into him, revelling in the physical contact. Eddie was so warm and alive and right there. Feeling like he was dead was always the worst part of getting hurt this badly, but having Eddie there washed all that away. Buck wasn’t dead because he was safe in Eddie’s arms.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” Eddie said.

Buck tried to mumble a joke about buying him dinner first, but Eddie only patted him on the chest so he wasn’t sure if it came across.

“I leave you alone for five minutes.” Eddie shook his head and rolled his eyes like he was annoyed, but his tone verged on fond.

That was nice. Buck didn’t want Eddie to be upset, especially not with him. He went willingly as Eddie maneuvered him back towards the bed.

“This isn’t your house.” Buck blurted out. Because he knew every inch of the Diaz house and he would have noticed another bedroom.

“No.” Eddie agreed, throwing back the covers to make it easier for Buck to lie back down. “It’s Bobby and Athena’s house.”

“Oh.” He guessed it kind of matched the decor in their living room. Lying back in the bed, Buck asked, “Why am I in their house?”

“Because we brought you here when they said you couldn’t go to a hospital.” Eddie fussed with the pillow under Buck’s head, not quite looking at him.

“Oh.” Buck felt like he should have more questions about that, but they got lost in his head.

Eddie’s face was just so close as he leaned over him. He was so beautiful. Why hadn’t Buck ever kissed Eddie? There were reasons- a lot of reasons probably- but he couldn’t remember any of them just then.

So he didn’t kiss Eddie.

Eddie was the best thing that had ever happened to Buck. Even with his brain a mush of half formed thoughts, Buck knew that much. Knew his relationship with Eddie was far too precious to risk with a stupid move.

When Eddie began to pull back, Buck clumsily caught his wrist. He didn’t want Eddie to go. Having Eddie close was about the only thing keeping him tethered to consciousness just then.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Eddie put his hand on Buck’s chest. Right over where Eddie’s heartbeat lived alongside his.

“You need to rest, you were badly hurt.” Firm and unyielding, Eddie didn’t seem to be taking no as an answer.

Buck tried anyway. “‘M’okay.” He mumbled.

“No, you’re not.” Eddie insisted, voice tight. “You really scared- us.”

Surprised by the emotion in his tone, Buck could only look at him.

“Would you just- would you rest? Please?”

Buck would do almost anything for Eddie on a normal day. But there in the dim light coming through the closed curtains with Eddie’s dark eyes boring into him and his brain a pile of mush, Eddie could have asked for the moon and Buck would have found a way to get it for him.

“Okay.” Buck agreed.

He could do that. For Eddie.

Eddie’s hand moved up to Buck’s cheek. Unable to help himself, Buck chased the contact. The look in Eddie’s eyes went conflicted for a moment. The way he always looked when he got in his head about something. Buck wanted to ask what was wrong but his tongue was lead in his mouth.

Then Eddie pulled away. Buck didn’t quite manage to swallow the noise of disappointment in time, it came out as a pathetic little whine.

But this was right. Eddie should keep his distance. After all, Buck was a death mage and that-

Eddie had rounded the bed and was crawling under the covers next to him. Buck’s poor, addled mind stood no chance of processing this. But when Eddie pulled him close, Buck instinctively curled into him. Let Eddie’s warmth soothe away the Grey. Make him feel just a little more human.

“Eddie?” Buck asked uncertainly.

“Just go to sleep.” Eddie pressed a hand to Buck’s chest again, like he could tell how comforting it was.

Well, sleeping was easier than thinking.

Buck listened to Eddie’s heartbeat and let it lull him to sleep.

-

The next time Buck opened his eyes, he was much more lucid. Eddie was gone but someone else was curled up next to him. It only took a moment to recognize the familiar weight of Chris leaning against his side. Lifting a hand, Buck pressed it gently to the side of Chris’ head.

He looked even younger when he was asleep, without his glasses. Like the tiny kid Buck had only seen pictures of. Chris was deeply asleep, warm breath puffing against Buck’s arm.

“How are you feeling?”

The soft question took Buck by surprise, his eyes darting up to see Maddie sitting in a chair in the corner, a book in her lap.

“Maddie?” Buck whispered. He blinked at her, waking up properly and assessing how he was feeling. “I’m okay.” He was definitely much better than he’d been last time he woke up. His improvement was probably due, at least in some part, to Eddie.

Maddie’s mouth twisted like she didn’t believe him, but she didn’t press. Instead she turned her attention to Chris. “He insisted on being here the next time you woke up.”

That made Buck smile. “He’s a great kid.”

“And he adores you.” Maddie pointed out warmly.

“I didn’t scare him, did I?” That was something that worried Buck often.

“Hmm.” Maddie considered it. “He was definitely worried about it. He cares about you a lot. But I don’t think he was really scared.”

Buck nodded, stroking his thumb across the short hair at Chris’ temple.

“Y’know, Alexandra didn’t think you would wake up for another day at least.” Maddie said.

Buck’s brows pulled together. “Alexandra’s here?”

“She was.” Maddie nodded, putting a bookmark into her book and closing it. “We were trying to get in contact with her to see if she could help and she just turned up at the door out of the blue.”

“Yeah she does that.” Buck said faintly, though he wouldn’t really have expected her to show up like that.

By building his life in LA, Buck was going against almost everything Alexandra had taught him about keeping himself separate from the world. It was why Buck had hesitated so much over reaching out to her for help with the case. She would almost certainly disprove of the way he’d gotten himself so involved with their lives, told them so much about his magic. These weren’t official rules, not like the oaths he’d sworn. But Alexandra had always insisted it was the best way for a death mage to live without endangering anyone.

Buck was going to have to face her sooner or later, but apparently it would be sooner.

“She said she had business in the city but she’s coming by this afternoon I think.” Maddie scratched her eyebrow. “She certainly… made an impression.”

That made Buck laugh, pulling on his sore ribs. “Yeah she does that too.”

Maybe he moved too much because Chris snuffled, head lifting as he woke.

“Buck?” Chris asked sleepily.

“Hey buddy.” Buck said softly.

Eyes widening, Chris struggled to turn over and look at Buck properly. “You’re awake?”

“Sure am.”

Buck put an arm around his back as Chris managed to wriggle around and hug Buck.

“I knew you’d wake up.” Chris’ words were mumbled as his face was mushed against Buck’s shoulder. “We read the dinosaur book to you. Did you hear us?”

Now that Chris mentioned it, Buck did think he’d been dreaming about dinosaurs. For at least part of it, when his dreams weren’t a horrifying slideshow of everytime he’d been injured.

“Y’know, I think I did. That was really kind of you.”

Chris giggled, lifting his head to look at Buck. “It’s your turn to read it to me next.”

“Oh is it?” Buck ruffled Chris’ hair, ignoring his giggled protests. “Well I guess we might be able to swing that.”

“But not right now.” Maddie said fondly, standing. “Right now, I think it’s time for lunch. You must be hungry Buck.”

In truth Buck wasn’t. With his body slowed he didn’t really get hungry. But it was probably a good idea to eat something small at least. Get his body working again.

“Lunch sounds good to me. What do you say Chris?”

“I’m hungry.” Decisively, Chris sat up.

Buck made to get up but Maddie stalled him.

“Ah- ah. You’re still on bed rest. Lunch in bed for now.” Maddie patted his good leg.

When Chris wasn’t there to see Buck would be vehemently protesting the bed rest. But for now he would give in.

Maddie disappeared to get them food.

Chapter Text

Buck lay in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to decide just how much of a fuss the others would kick up if he tried to get out of bed. Their concern made for a nice change of pace, but it really wasn’t necessary.

Just as he decided he was going to risk it, the door opened and Alexandra stepped into the room.

They’d spoken over the phone semi-regularly, but it had been nearly a year since he’d last seen her in person. But she looked the same as ever, excepting maybe a little more gray in her hair. And, as ever, she saw right through him.

“Thinking about a jail break?” She asked with amusement in her voice.

Buck said back sheepishly against the headboard, not bothering to deny it. “I’m fine Alex, you know that.”

Humming noncommittally, Alexandra flipped back the covers on his leg to get a look at it and judge for herself. She passed a hand over it, her magic brushing against his skin. “It will bear weight. Seems the boost did you good.”

So he hadn’t been imagining it, his magic did feel like Alexandra’s. He must have been looking pretty rough for her to give him some, she generally preferred to let him deal with the consequences of his actions now he was an adult. “Thank you for that.”

She waved off the thanks, moving the chair from the corner so she could sit close and talk to him. “Your friends are right about one thing, you will make it worse if you push it.”

Buck stiffened at the way she said ‘your friends’. Like she wasn’t sure if that was the right phrase, just testing it out and waiting to see his reaction. “I’ll try to take it easy.” He said lamely.

“You seem close with them.” From someone else it might have been an innocuous observation. But from Alexandra it was a hook, fishing for information. Alexandra’s way of questioning him had been the bane of his existence as a teenager, because she always got what she wanted.

“I am.” Buck admitted, because he knew it was obvious.

“Hmm.” Sitting back in her chair, Alexandra watched him closely.

“I know-” Buck fiddled with his fingers, knotting them together. “I know you don’t approve.”

“It is not about what I approve of.” Alex interrupted, voice level as always. She wasn’t the kind of person to shout, no matter how mad she might be under the surface. It was when her voice got cold and tight that Buck knew trouble was brewing.

“They care about me.” Buck insisted, unsure whether he was trying to convince her or himself.

“Will that be enough?”

It felt like a huge question. Enough for what? For when something worse than a truck bombing happened? For when they got a glimpse into the parts of himself Buck still hid?

“You don’t think it’s going to end well.” There was a petulant note in Buck’s voice, betraying just how unfair it all felt.

“Does it ever end well?” Alexandra asked. Her gaze went to the window, her mind far away.

“But what if it does?” Buck pressed, because he couldn’t help himself. “What if this is the time it works out?”

When she turned to him her expression was like looking into a pit. “Then you are lucky.”

Buck looked away. Sometimes staying in LA felt every inch the gamble Alexandra was implying.

Then she sighed. “But some lessons cannot be taught. They must be learned.”

It was the same thing she’d said at the start of Buck’s senior year, when he had insisted he wanted to stay in one town to finish it out. Make friends, go to prom, end high school properly. They’d had to move by Christmas.

Buck chewed the inside of his lip. He didn’t know how to defend a decision he didn’t even understand himself. Before he’d joined the 118 he could have left LA easily. But now he was in it, it was so hard to pull away.

“We are, both of us, monsters, Evan. I know you’ve always had a hard time accepting that, really accepting it. But I think you would make things easier on yourself if you did.”

“I- I know what I am.” Buck said with less conviction than he would have liked. “I just- I can’t give this up. Not yet.” Not until he’d utterly worn out his welcome. Until they didn’t want him anymore. “I’m not- I don’t expect this to last forever. But I have to see it through.” Whatever this chapter of his life ended up being, he was strapped in for the ride.

For a long moment, Alexandra sat forward and just looked at him, her eyes a thousand years old. Finally, she said, “I’ll be here.” ‘When it all falls apart’ went unsaid.

Buck knew why she said it. When he did wear out his welcome, when they realized he was far more trouble than he was worth, it would shatter him into a million tiny pieces. And Alexandra would be the one helping him pick them up.

“I know.” Buck said quietly. He put his hand out over the covers and she took it. Squeezed it comfortingly just once.

The death mage system of mentorship was less than perfect. But Buck had often thought he’d gotten very lucky when he’d been assigned to Alexandra.

“Well.” Alexandra sat back, clearly changing the subject. “I spoke to a very determined detective this morning. If you do insist on putting down roots, must they be where so many people are getting mysteriously murdered?”

Buck smiled. “To be fair, people weren’t being murdered when I moved here.”

Alexandra arched an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth tugging into a smile. “That isn’t as comforting as you think it is.”

“I’ve been helping with the investigation but it’s… I’ve never felt anything like that.”

“Something we will be discussing further when we have time. But I believe the sergeant wants to talk to you about the truck bombing. And I get the feeling your man won’t let it happen without him there.” Alexandra said pointedly.

Buck frowned. “Eddie isn’t my-”

Alexandra levelled him with an unimpressed look. “Did I say a name?”

She had him there. Buck just blushed and looked away. Whatever interactions they might have had, Buck got the feeling Eddie was most of the reason Alexandra had been so insistent with her warnings.

“Might as well get you moving anyway. Slowly.” Alexandra offered herself as a crutch.

Buck got slowly to his feet. His knee creaked, whole leg protesting. But it held up under his weight. He could feel Alexandra’s magic supporting him gently too. She was always better at using magic cleverly than Buck had ever managed.

They headed out into the hall as Buck found his balance. It was almost disorienting to enter the Nash-Grant living room from the other side, especially seeing as he had no memory of coming into the house.

Athena was set up at the dining table with her laptop and various papers strewn around her. Bobby sat at her side, reading something with a serious expression. Maddie was on the sofa looking at something on her phone and Eddie was in the kitchen doing the dishes. They had soft music playing in the background with a vaguely 80s vibe but Buck didn’t recognize the song.

Athena was the first to notice their approach and she looked up with surprise. “You’re up.”

That got everyone’s attention.

“Should you be on your feet?” Bobby asked.

Buck looked to Alexandra for help, but the look she gave him clearly said ‘they’re your friends, you’re on your own’.

“I’m alright.” Buck insisted, even as Bobby came to support his other side and move him toward the couch. “If I stay in bed much longer I’ll stiffen up.”

Bobby made an uncertain noise in the back of his throat as Maddie made a space on the couch for Buck to sit. In a moment he had Maddie on one side of him and Eddie on the other, with the rest of them taking arm chairs or bringing dining chairs to make a circle.

“How are you feeling?” Eddie asked quietly.

“Better. Thanks.” Buck gave him a small smile, which Eddie returned. For a moment Buck wished they were alone so they could actually talk, but there was no time for that now.

“Are you up to talking about what happened?” Athena asked.

Buck got the feeling that if he said no the conversation would pivot sharply into whatever else he wanted to talk about. But it was better to get this over with. “Yeah.”

With brisk efficiency, Athena took Buck through what had happened. About how the kid with a vendetta against Bobby had taken it out on the 118 and then been arrested. It was a lot to take in but Buck listened quietly, thinking it over.

“Do we know how powerful that magic eater was?” Alexandra asked when Athena was done.

“According to the report from the mage team, it was a category five.” Athena said.

“Christ.” Buck rubbed at the phantom ache in his chest. “Sure felt like it. But- where the hell does a kid get his hands on something that powerful?”

“That’s a good question.” Alexandra said grimly.

“He said something to me.” Buck said suddenly, remembering.

Eddie looked at him closely. “Who did, the kid?”

“He said-” Buck frowned, trying to put the pieces of his memory back together. Trauma was such a bitch for tearing memory apart. “He said something…”

He could feel every eye in the room watching him, expectant.

“Something about… someone not liking me?”

Athena cocked her head. “You, specifically? Do you remember exactly what he said?”

“I think… I think it was ‘somebody out there really doesn’t like you’.” That sounded right. “It felt kinda- personal. And- and he knew I was a death mage, like he was looking for me.”

Alexandra and Athena exchanged a look. The idea of them joining forces was an incredible one or a very concerning one depending on what they turned their energy towards.

“Looking for you, or looking for a death mage?” Alexandra asked.

Buck shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t exactly stop to explain himself.”

“Hmm.” Alexandra rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “You think it’s a Teterio?”

Buck’s eyebrows shot up. He hadn’t even considered the possibility. “Fuck- you think?”

“It’s not exactly their MO but, it is possible. I’ll talk to Caleb.”

“The what now?” Eddie interrupted, he was never shy about getting Buck to clarify what the fuck he was talking about.

“Uh it’s- kind of like a cult? They believe that if all death mages are eradicated, the world will like- enter a new era or something?” Buck looked to Alexandra, because it wasn’t something he knew a whole lot about.

“They believe killing all death mages will bring an end to death.” Alexandra reminded him.

“Wait- so there are people who actively want you dead?” Eddie asked, frown creasing his brow. “And you didn’t think to mention this?”

“Plenty of people want me dead.” Buck shrugged. He’d made no secret of how many people hated him.

“The Teterio rarely make an actual move, they prefer to preach the dangers of death mages to those that will listen. But every few years they get bold and try to make a statement. It’s worth looking into, at least.” She turned to Athena. “Have you heard of anything like that in the city?”

Athena looked less than impressed. It was hard to tell whether she liked Alexandra or not. “No, if I had that’s something I would have paid attention to.”

“Is Buck in danger?” Maddie asked.

Buck and Alexandra’s eyes met across the living room. Even if he was in danger, it wasn’t the kind of thing they wanted anyone else getting involved with. There was nothing they would be able to do, it would only mean a higher body count if they tried to protect him.

“I don’t think so.” Alexandra said smoothly. “But I’ll be borrowing him for a few days anyway. Even those that would dare to attack a lone death mage wouldn’t be foolish enough to take on two.”

“Borrowing him?” Eddie asked sharply.

“Yes. We have work to do.” She said enigmatically.

Buck got the distinct feeling she was being deliberately obtuse to fuck with Eddie. “It’ll be fine.” He tried to soothe, but Eddie looked less than convinced.

“Well,” Alexandra stood. “You had better rest up. I will collect you in the morning, assuming you will still be here?” She glanced to Bobby and Athena for an answer.

“Yes, he will.” Bobby said distractedly, eyes on Buck.

That worked for Buck. He was pretty sure he could get himself home if need be, but it would be easier to take another night in the guest room.

Pausing in front of him, Alexandra looked him over. “Try not to get into any more trouble.”

Buck gave her his best ‘who me?’ look. “I never get into trouble.”

She just shook her head and left.

Chapter Text

Eddie stared at the door in the wake of Alexandra’s exit.

“She’s…” He started, but stalled as he realized he wasn’t sure what he was actually trying to say.

“A force of nature?” Buck supplied with a smile.

“That’s one way of putting it.” Maddie rubbed her brow, frowning at Buck. “Are you sure you’ll be alright going with her tomorrow? Your leg-”

Patting Maddie’s arm comfortingly, Buck nodded. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I’ll be with Alexandra.”

Was that comforting? Eddie wasn’t convinced.

“What exactly are the two of you doing tomorrow?” Athena asked cautiously.

Buck shrugged, seemingly unconcerned with the answer. “No clue. I’ll find out tomorrow.”

Glances were exchanged and Eddie got the feeling the others were thinking of the image of Buck trapped under that ladder truck, screaming. Only a few days ago, near death. Now he was sitting there talking like it was just a scrape.

Though, maybe he did seem a little subdued. But it was hard to tell whether that was because of whatever he’d talked about with Alexandra or just because he was recovering. Either way it made Eddie dislike the idea of Alexandra whisking him away to do god knows what so soon. Surely whatever it was could wait just a little longer. But Buck was an adult and it wasn’t Eddie’s place to intervene.

“Alright. But if she’s anything at all like you, I’m not bailing you guys out when you end up getting arrested.” Athena’s tone was joking but Eddie got the feeling she was half serious.

“Just be careful.” Bobby said, more serious.

“She’s a lot more cautious than I am.” Buck said consolingly. “She spent most of my teenage years digging me out of scrapes of my own making.”

‘At least someone was’ Eddie thought, though he wouldn’t say that out loud with Maddie so close by. While he didn’t know how he felt about Alexandra in general yet, he was at least glad she was the reason Buck hadn’t been entirely alone as a teenager.

Once they had confirmed that Buck was about as safe as he was going to be with Alexandra, they drifted back to what they had been doing. Leaving Buck and Eddie alone on the couch. Just the two of them for the first time since Buck had half collapsed in Eddie’s arms and they’d crawled into bed together.

“Thanks.” Buck said softly.

Eddie looked at him. “For what?”

“For- staying with me.” Buck said a little awkwardly. “It helped. I feel a lot more real now.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Eddie said earnestly. “I was just glad to be able to do something to help you.”

Looking down at his hands, Buck mumbled, “I-”

Eddie was distracted when his phone buzzed and he frowned down at it, reading a text from Shannon.

“Everything okay?” Buck asked, glancing at the phone briefly without actually reading it.

“Just- Shannon. She’s asking if I can go with her to another apartment viewing tomorrow, apparently the time has been moved up.”

Buck’s head tipped, reminding Eddie of the times he turned into a dog. “Oh- she’s not- not moving back in with you?”

“No. We did talk about it but- she needs her own space.” It might have made sense for her to move in, given that Eddie’s house was already pretty accessible to accommodate Chris. If there was another bedroom in the house Eddie wouldn’t hesitate. But given that they would already be divorced by now if it weren’t for the idiocy of the American healthcare system, neither of them wanted to be sharing a room. Not to mention, they didn’t want to give Chris the false impression that they might be getting back together.

“Right.” Buck’s expression did something complicated and he looked away. “How… how do you feel about that?”

Eddie hesitated. He hadn’t told anyone about the conversation he’d had with Shannon at the hospital, not even Buck. Though the decision to divorce made sense, and he was a little more at peace with the concept than he had been when Shannon first suggested it, it still felt like a failing. If he was going to talk to anyone about it, it would be Buck. But Eddie just wasn’t ready yet.

“I think… It’s for the best.” Eddie said finally, because that was the truth. He could admit that much to himself.

“Just because it’s for the best doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” Buck said gently. Kind as ever.

Eddie hummed. Part of him was tempted to spill his guts about the whole thing, but the other part was hyper aware of Maddie tapping at her phone on the other side of the living room. Not listening in but not far enough for comfort.

The conversation could wait for another day.

“I think Chris, Harry and Denny are angling for a video game tournament this evening. Do you think you’ll be up to joining them?”

Accepting the topic change, Buck nodded with a bright grin. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

-

The apartment was nice enough. It would definitely need some work doing before it was completely accessible for Shannon, but it was a better start than any of the other places she’d looked at.

As he poked around in cupboards and kept an eye out for signs of damp, Eddie listened to the real estate guy going over the details with Shannon. He was taking mental note of what was said so he could give his honest opinion later, but when the guy had tried to talk to him earlier he’d made it clear that Shannon was the one calling the shots here. Partially because at the very first viewing they’d gone to Eddie had automatically tried to take over and Shannon had given him a glare that could have curdled milk. She was completely right, it was her home and her decision to make. It was just habit. And, now that he thought about it, that habit might be part of why he and Shannon were never going to work out.

As he was inspecting patches of the wallpaper to confirm that it was just faded and not watermarked, Eddie found his thoughts sliding unbidden to Buck. He said he’d worked construction for a while, what would he think of this place? Would he have ideas on how to adapt it? Sometimes he came up with ideas on how to adapt things for Chris that Eddie never would have thought of, his brain just seemed to work differently. Buck tended to shrug all his differences off as death mage stuff, but Eddie was pretty sure that innovative part of him was all Buck.

But Buck was off doing some death mage thing with Alexandra. Mostly Eddie just hoped it wasn’t dangerous. He didn’t think he could handle Buck getting hurt again so soon.

“I’ll give you a moment to discuss.” The real estate guy said a little louder than they’d been talking, bringing Eddie’s attention back to the matter at hand. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, the guy went to take a call in the corridor.

Shannon wheeled over to where Eddie was now inspecting the sink. “Well? Does it live up to your exacting standards?”

Eddie had been picky about the places they’d seen so far, mostly because they had all sucked. Divorce or not, he still cared about Shannon and he wanted her to be comfortable. “It’s not perfect, but it has good bones. Bottom floor, big shower, decently sized hallways. Plus the landlord is willing to negotiate on renovations. What do you think?”

Shannon nodded. “I like it. It has room for Chris.”

They hadn’t exactly set any kind of custody agreement in stone, but they were pretty sure they wanted Chris to split time between them somehow. When Shannon was more settled they would put together some kind of timetable that wouldn’t disrupt Chris too much.

“He’s excited to decorate a new room. I think he already has plans.”

Shannon laughed. “I’m glad. Though I’m not sure I’ll be able to live up to whatever he imagines.”

“I don’t think anyone could.” Eddie said with a smile.

Looking around the kitchen, Shannon hummed to herself. “I’m pretty sure it’s by far the best I’m going to find in my budget.”

That was certainly true enough. Shannon had money from her mother, enough to keep her afloat, but neither of them were exactly rolling in it. “Well then I guess that’s settled.” Eddie put his hands on his hips and mentally began cataloguing a list of jobs to be done.

“What’s up with you?” Shannon asked out of nowhere.

Eddie blinked at her. “Who- me?”

Giving him a flat look, Shannon gestured to the empty apartment. “Yes, you. Something’s wrong, you’re distracted.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Eddie said gruffly, inspecting the peeling paint on the windowframe over the sink. It didn’t do much to help him ignore her eyes on him.

Shannon cornered him in the kitchen by parking her wheelchair in the way of the door and locking the wheels. She leaned forwards with her elbows on her knees and raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t bullshit me.”

Briefly contemplating whether he could climb out of the window, Eddie sighed. The problem with Shannon was that before she’d ever even been his girlfriend, she’d been his best friend. She knew him better than almost anyone.

“It’s- I dont-” Eddie floundered, automatically glancing at the door to check if the real estate guy was coming back to talk to them. It wasn’t like Eddie to stumble over his words like this and it had Shannon even more concerned.

She sat back, considering him. “Alright. I don’t think this is an apartment viewing kind of conversation. I’m gonna go see if he’s done with his call.”

Leaning against the kitchen counter, Eddie watched her go.

-

By the time they got back to Eddie’s house, he felt a little like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. But he knew there was no getting out of the conversation. Shannon could be very patient when she wanted to, better to get it over with.

Shannon allowed him a reprieve until they had lunch set out on the table before asking, “Okay. What is it?”

“I’m worried about Buck.” Eddie blurted out without really making the decision to say anything at all.

“I thought you said he was doing well?” Shannon asked with concern.

“He is- physically. He’s up and walking. But I just… I can’t stop thinking about him trapped under that ladder truck-” Eddie cut himself off with a sharp shake of his head.

“Did it…” Shannon started slowly, as though considering her words carefully. “Remind you of Afghanistan?”

Eddie bit the inside of his mouth hard enough he tasted blood. “The bombing did.” He admitted quietly. “For a moment I didn’t know where I was.”

Shannon nodded. Afghanistan was something they’d never really talked about. When he first got back Eddie hadn’t been able to process anything yet, and then Shannon had left. “That must have been hard.”

“I mean- it was. But after I saw Buck screaming like that I couldn’t really think about anything else.” It had been the all consuming kind of fear that forced out all other thoughts.

“He was injured badly?” Shannon hadn’t gotten the full details of what had happened, Eddie had been too preoccupied to tell her.

“If he wasn’t a death mage- I don’t know whether he would have survived.” He thought of the tension in the mage crew when they’d realized how powerful the magic eater was. The kind of tension he recognized from working with first responders, when they knew the odds were slim.

“It was touch and go then?”

Eddie nodded. “And- god, we couldn’t even take him to the hospital. Usually you have to hand them over to the experts and wait, but there just wasn’t anything we could do for him.”

At Shannon’s look of confusion, Eddie explained the death mage rule about hospitals. She nodded but didn’t seem to completely understand.

“So he just- always has to deal with it himself? No matter what?” Shannon sounded sad.

“That’s the thing- he shouldn’t have to. Not when he has us here. We all care about him- and he just doesn’t seem to get that.”

“When you’re used to doing everything yourself, it can be hard to accept help.” As she said it, Shannon’s thoughts seemed far away.

Wincing, Eddie wondered if she was thinking about the years Eddie was in Afghanistan. “Yeah.” Eddie said a little hoarsely.

“You know,” Shannon said thoughtfully, seeming fully present again. “For all the stories I’d heard about death mages, I never thought about what it would be like for them.”

“Nor did I. I don’t think I thought about them much at all.” Eddie rubbed his face. “Most of the magic users I’d met in the army, especially the powerful ones, were assholes. That’s what I assumed Buck would be like when we first met.”

“What made you realize he wasn’t?”

“A couple things. But the thing that really cemented it was the way he treated Chris. They got on like a house on fire from the moment they met.” Eddie smiled at the memory.

“Chris never stops talking about him.” There was a hint of something wistful in her voice, but Eddie wasn’t sure why.

“God- I dreaded having to tell Chris what happened. So soon after-” Eddie grimaced.

“Did Chris react badly?”

“No, he was really mature about the whole thing. I just wish he didn’t have to be.”

Shannon hummed her agreement to that. “I think it was good for him to see Buck awake and okay. Apparently Buck heard you guys reading about dinosaurs to him.”

That made Eddie smile. “Buck loves dinosaurs almost as much as Chris does. You should have seen the pair of them at the museum.”

“You care about Buck a lot.” Shannon said.

“Yeah- he’s my best friend.” That much was obvious.

“Just your friend?” Sitting forward, Shannon seemed to be closely watching for his answer.

Completely taken off guard by the question, for a long moment Eddie could only stare at her. “Yes- just my friend- what-?”

Shannon held her hands up as though signalling innocence. “I just wonder- how would you feel if this was happening to one of your other coworkers?”

“If it was someone else, I would be worried about them.”

Shannon put a hand over his comfortingly. “I don’t doubt that. But would you be- ‘losing sleep, distracted, dreading telling Chris’ kind of worried about them?”

“Chris loves Buck.” Eddie said defensively, half aware he was ignoring the rest of what she’d said.

Shannon looked exasperatedly at him. “Yeah he does, because Buck is always around. Because you always want him there.”

Pulling his hand back, Eddie crossed his arms. He was aware he was being defensive but he didn’t care. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

Shannon sighed. “Nothing. I’m just- I’m glad he’s okay. And I’m glad he has you as a best friend. I think you’re good for each other.”

The tension in Eddie’s shoulders relaxed just a little. “Yeah.”

They were best friends. They had each others backs. There wasn’t anything more to it. The idea was ridiculous. So what if he’d taken a place of importance in Eddie’s life that ranked just under Chris.

It was nothing. But Eddie continued to think about that nothing long after Shannon had been picked up by Layla.

Chapter Text

Buck folded himself into the passenger seat of Alexandra’s sensible little rental car, mindful of his leg. Over the past few days the pain had settled into a more manageable ache, but it would probably be a week at least until it felt normal again. Crush injuries were some of the most annoying to heal, he’d take a puncture wound any day.

Buck had actually taken painkillers that morning, because Eddie had texted to remind him. Without Eddie to remind him, Buck tended to forget they existed.

“Leg still bothering you?” Alexandra asked as she watched him buckle his seatbelt.

“Some.” Buck admitted easily in a way he wouldn’t to anyone else. But Alexandra was aware of how much Buck could take, she wouldn’t fuss and tell him to take it easy.

“Alright to walk a bit?”

Buck nodded confidently. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

The only real ongoing issue was his magic. It had been depleted severely enough it would take a while to replenish, especially when he wasn’t at work. But it was manageable.

Alexandra started the car and got moving. It was useless to try asking where they were going, Alexandra never gave information unless she was good and ready. So Buck just started talking.

It was something of a tradition since they’d stopped living together when Buck was eighteen. They often didn’t see each other for a while outside of check ins to make sure they were both alive. So when they did see each other, they caught each other up on their lives.

Buck had told Alexandra about joining the academy at the time, she’d seemed a little dubious but wished him luck with it. Then when he graduated she had somehow sent flowers to where he was staying, despite him never giving her the address. Buck didn’t question her methods. Now Buck told her more about what the academy and his probie year had been like. How strange it had been being mentored by an elemental mage who clearly didn’t like him.

He hesitated over telling her more details of what it was like with the 118, given she disapproved of him staying there. But in the end he couldn’t help himself, he just loved talking about them.

In return Alexandra told him about spending more time in DC working for the mage council. After the reports of strange magic in LA they had been on the brink of sending someone out to investigate the rumors when the bombing happened. Seeing that Buck was involved, Alexandra had snatched up the assignment and been on a plane within the hour. It explained her sudden appearance at least.

“I heard you did some death sights.” Alexandra said as the conversation turned in earnest to her investigation.

Trying to be as thorough as possible, Buck took her through what had happened. She frowned in concern when he told her about whoever was doing this knowing about death sights.

“Sounds like you handled yourself well.” Alexandra said.

Buck grinned at the praise. “Well you’re the one who taught me how.”

Nodding in acknowledgement, Alexandra kept her gaze on the road.

“Hey- do you know how the investigation is going for Wyatt’s death?” With everything that had been going on, Buck had kind of forgotten about him. It made him feel a little guilty in an abstract kind of way.

“You knew him?” Alexandra glanced over at him before she parked.

“A little- he assisted with the death sights. He was nice.” Getting out of the car, Buck looked around. They were on the other side of LA to where Buck usually spent his time, he didn’t recognize the streets. But it was a more suburban area, houses still packed in close for space but the street was a little wider.

“Hmm.” Alexandra absently rubbed her chin as she led the way. “Honestly the whole investigation is stalling. There’s no evidence, physical or magical. No witnesses, just bodies. They’re getting frustrated.”

“No wonder. I would be too.” Buck said emphatically. “It’s so strange- the way the magic just feels so… empty. Like a vacuum.” It was a little easier to explain it to her, given she knew how magic was actually supposed to feel.

“Well, we’re almost there. Can you feel it again?”

Automatically, Buck reached out with his magic even as he asked, “Almost where?”

“The site where the most recent body was found.” Alexandra consulted something on her phone as she glanced around, checking they were in the right place.

Buck didn’t need the confirmation. He caught the same strands of magic he’d felt before and headed straight for it.

Swallowing hard, Buck looked down at the scrubby patch of bush. A few days ago, Wyatt Kane’s body had been found there. Already cold.

Alexandra joined him, gaze going far away as she searched for the feeling herself. “Hmm. I see what you mean. Hollow.”

“Right?” Buck spread his hands. “It’s so weird. Have you encountered anything like this before?”

“No.” She said slowly. “Haven’t heard of anything like it either.” While Alexandra wasn’t exactly an encylopedia of all things magical, she’d seen more than most. She made it her business to know everything she possibly could about magic. Privately Buck had wondered whether that was a natural habit, or one picked up in a bid for a sense of control.

Either way, Buck wasn’t sure whether to be satisfied he wasn’t missing something obvious, or worried about the danger something unknown could present.

Alexandra rubbed her forehead. “Once I have more information I’ll have to take this to the council. Something like this is going to be old enough to have been forgotten or new enough we haven’t seen it yet.”

Completely new magic was rare, but it did happen. Magic evolved slowly, but historical record showed that the magic they were working with was different to what they had hundreds of years ago.

“This kind of thing will be much easier when I have access to the vaults.” Alexandra muttered as she put her hands on her hips, surveying the area.

Buck turned to stare at her. “You’re putting yourself forward for Mortis?” Only the council had access to the vaults, where magical records deemed too dangerous for public knowledge were stored.

“Yes I am.” Alexandra fiddled with the end of her braid in an uncharacteristically self conscious move.

“Wow.” Buck never would have predicted that. Most of the time Alexandra clashed with the Mortis and the way they did things.

“What?” A little sharply, Alexandra looked at him.

“No- nothing. I think you’ll be great.”

Sighing, Alexandra flicked her braid over her shoulder. “I just- I got tired of being on the outside I guess. Of the ‘need to know’ nonsense. Maybe if I’m on the inside…” She trailed off, shrugging. “No guarantee I’ll get it.”

“Hey, you’ll totally get it. You’re the most qualified person I can imagine.” Buck assured her, being entirely truthful. Now that he thought about it, she would be great on the council.

Turning to him, Alexandra gave him one of her rare, genuine smiles. “Thank you Buck. Now, let’s see what else we can find.”

-

Buck was more than a little desperate to get back to work. He knew he was ready, but apparently allowing someone back to work immediately after being crushed by a ladder truck ‘just wasn’t right’ according to the chief. Mostly it seemed like they didn’t really know what to do with him, given that the LAFD had never employed a death mage in the entire time it had operated. When he first applied to the academy, it hadn’t really occurred to Buck that he would be the first. That in a way he was making history. The significance had passed him by, he was too used to getting confused and wary looks from people who knew what he was to think too hard when it happened at the academy.

For three weeks Buck had been mostly bored out of his mind. A little lonely too. Eddie had been busy getting Shannon’s new apartment ready. When Buck had offered his help, Eddie had kind of distractedly thanked him, but assured him he had it well in hand. It made sense of course. If Eddie and Shannon were sorting out… whatever was going on in their marriage, they wouldn’t want Buck hanging around making things weird. There was no need for Buck to feel put out about it.

Alexandra had stuck around for a while as she investigated, but then she’d had to go and have meetings with the council about her findings. But he was used to Alexandra popping up and disappearing randomly.

Between work and their families, everyone else was busy.

Buck knew that he should just be grateful that people wanted to spend any time with him at all. And he was, of course he was. It was just that- going from seeing people pretty much every day to seeing them once or twice a week was jarring. And whenever he did see them they had stories about calls he wasn’t there for, inside jokes he’d missed out on.

He didn’t want them to have to carve out more time in their busy lives just to see him because he was being pathetic. He just- he just wanted to be back at work with them.

But finally, a full month after the bombing, they were letting him recertify. Not that he really needed to, but apparently it was policy after an injury that severe. In this instance, they didn’t care that he was a death mage.

Somewhere in the game of telephone that information tended to go through in big organizations, they had assumed that Buck couldn’t step inside any form of medical facility. Which was entirely untrue. As long as he was lucid, Buck was absolutely fine to go into any medical facility they allowed him into. The issue was, most people didn’t trust death mages around the temptation of that much potential power.

Once, when he’d been working at a bar in the outskirts of New York, a coworker had shattered a bottle and cut her hand. It was bad enough she needed to go to the hospital and Buck was the only one available with a car. When they got to the ER, a mage triage nurse had taken one look at him and seen the aura of death hanging around him. They’d called security and demanded he leave immediately. Buck’s coworker had looked at him with open fear, backing away and hiding behind security. Buck had left before it escalated.

The next day he’d gotten a call awkwardly terminating his employment at the bar.

That one experience had been more than enough to keep him out of hospitals in the future. Of course, the people he worked with in LA already knew what he was so it wouldn’t matter that much. But still…

The upshot of all this was that they had offered to perform a portion of his testing in the gym at the firehouse. Buck had eagerly accepted. Not only would he be in a familiar environment, it was also an excuse to hang out at the firehouse and see everyone. The temptation to swing by had been looming, but Buck couldn’t bring himself to go in without some kind of excuse. He didn’t want to seem like a limpet clinging to them.

-

Buck tried not to bounce on the balls of his feet as he headed into the station. It felt more like home than anywhere other than- well, other than Eddie’s place but Buck generally tried not to think too hard about that. It just wasn’t productive.

As he walked up, Buck saw a young man washing the side of the engine. Buck didn’t recognize him, the name tag pinned to his chest said ‘Panikkar’. Buck couldn’t remember anyone by that name working any shift at the 118 and he was generally pretty good with names.

The guy stood and gave him a friendly smile. “Can I help you?”

Taken off guard by the unfamiliar face treating him like a civilian, Buck stalled. “Uh- I’m just here for my evaluation.”

“Evalua- you’re the death mage?” Panikkar asked, eyes going wide.

Buck frowned slightly, not sure what rumors he might have heard. “Yeah, I am. And you are?”

“I’m Ravi, I’m the new firefighter-mage.” He offered out a hand to shake.

Buck just stared at him. They replaced him? Already? Buck hadn’t even been allowed to do his evaluation yet and they already had a new mage.

Ravi’s smile slipped, his hand dropping. “I mean- uh- I-”

“Buck!” Hen’s voice was a welcome interruption.

Buck turned to her, trying to summon a smile. “Hey Hen.”

“Ready to get recertified?”

There was something like worry in her eyes and Buck’s heart sank into his stomach. Maybe no one thought he would pass and that was why they’d brought in this new guy.

“Yeah.” Buck nodded with false confidence. “Can’t wait.”

“Oh man, you’re back already?” Chim joked as he, Eddie and Bobby joined them. “But I’ve been enjoying the peace and quiet so much.”

On any other day Buck would have teased him right back, enjoying the banter. Today Buck could only laugh in an awkward rusty way he hoped wasn’t as obviously fake as it felt.

“Sorry Chim, better get some ear defenders.” He managed.

Chim laughed, big and happy.

“Sure you’re ready for this?” Bobby asked, and that was definitely worry in his eyes. He watched Buck like he would keel over in the breeze.

“Rarin’ to go Cap.” Putting as much bravado as he could muster into it, Buck hoped it was convincing.

Eddie gave him a small smile. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

That quiet confidence was more soothing than any dramatic pep talk could be. Buck stood a little straighter.

“I see you’ve met our latest addition.” Bobby said, clapping a hand on Ravi’s shoulder.

Buck swallowed. “Yeah I- didn’t realize there was a new mage working here.”

“Ravi just joined us last week.”

Last week. And no one had mentioned it.

“Right. Nice to meet you.” Buck offered his hand this time and Ravi shook it.

“I’m looking forward to working with you- I’ve heard a lot about you.” Ravi smiled widely.

Buck wasn’t sure that was a good thing- there were certainly plenty of stories about his fuck ups.

“I-” Buck was cut off by the alarm blaring overhead.

“That’s our song.” Bobby said with a grimace. “Good luck Buck.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Buck said numbly as they rushed to get ready.

Eddie put a hand on Buck’s shoulder as he passed and squeezed once.

Then they were gone. And Buck trudged to the gym to find his evaluator.

-

“So- how did I do?” Buck asked, pretty sure he’d done better than fine. But the guy’s severe expression was making him nervous.

“Your results will be discussed with you by the board.” He said curtly.

“Right.” Buck said lamely, shoving his hands into his pockets.

The guy just nodded and walked away, leaving Buck standing awkwardly in the middle of the gym. He looked around the station, gaze catching on the cubby where he would usually store his equipment. Masking tape had been stuck over the ‘Buckley’ nameplate, sharpie letters spelling out ‘Panikkar’.

What kind of mage was this Ravi guy anyway? Something less difficult to deal with than a death mage, that much was certain. Buck was usually decent at reading magic source vibes off a fellow mage, but he’d been too distracted.

When he walked in earlier he’d been hoping to hang around and chat after the evaluation, but who knew how long they would be out on the call. Besides, he wasn’t really in the mood to talk.

Buck went back to his Jeep and tried not to think about anything at all. Especially not about whether maybe Alexandra had been just a little bit right. When this inevitably fell apart, he wasn’t sure how he was going to pick himself up again.

Chapter Text

Eddie ran through his equipment checks mostly on autopilot, having done it enough times he didn’t have to think hard about it. Though, work had been weird without Buck. It wasn’t as though they’d been glued to each other’s sides every second of every shift, but they had done most things together. Even things that technically didn’t require two people. Bobby had put up with it as long as everything got done. Then it was made even more weird by having a new mage in his place.

It was hard for Eddie to decide how he felt about Ravi. He wasn’t bad at his job, by any means. And he was good at following orders. But he didn’t seem to know nearly as much about magic as Buck did. And given he was a mage-firefighter, that was a slight issue.

The difference between Ravi and Buck at work was the difference between classroom learning and real world experience. Buck had been forced to deal with magic every single day of his life, he was just too powerful to ignore it. Ravi had made the choice to pursue his magic as part of his career because that was what he wanted to do.

It was ridiculous, Eddie knew, the urge to dislike Ravi purely because he was standing where Buck should be. So Eddie did his best to be nice.

Besides, if he was being honest with himself, a little part of him was relieved Buck wasn’t back at work just yet. He didn’t want to think about Buck at the moment. Everything Shannon had said kept echoing in his ears. The more he thought about it, the more certain he was that he would have had a different reaction if anyone other than Buck had been harmed. Which, of course he would, Buck was his best friend. There was nothing weird about it. Then he would look over at Hen and Chim and find himself evaluating their friendship, comparing it with his and Buck’s. It seemed so different and Eddie didn’t want to think about why.

So he’d been avoiding Buck, just a little bit. In the hopes that a little distance would give him some perspective. So far it hadn’t. Mostly he just missed Buck. Chim had jokingly called them overly codependent and Eddie hadn’t found it in himself to refute the idea. Maybe they were.

-

Sitting in his usual seat in the engine, Eddie blankly watched the streets flash by. He half listened to Chim and Ravi having an argument about whether the newer or older version of a film Eddie had never heard of was better. When they appealed to Hen for her opinion, she said she preferred the book, which got identical noises of exasperation from Chim and Ravi. It was nice, the camaraderie of his team. A little like it had been with some of the people he served with.

The call was for a missing kid, which put the team on edge as soon as Bobby relayed the info from dispatch. The chatter died down immediately. When they arrived, Bobby went straight to talk to the parents. Athena was already there, as it was a joint response call.

The little boy had disappeared while playing with his cousins, running between houses. It had been two hours, so people were starting to get antsy.

“Alright.” Bobby said to the team. “Aaron was last seen at that house,” He pointed to show them. “We’re going to spread out and do a grid search.”

Eddie hesitated. This would be much easier as a wolf. Since he hadn’t been taking the wolfsbane for a little while now, that was actually a viable option.

He was a little unsure about shifting in front of everyone. Not because he was worried about their reaction, like Buck had been about his magic. Everyone other than maybe Ravi already knew Eddie was a werewolf. But it had been years since Eddie had shifted outside the full moon.

Being a werewolf was something Eddie had never quite felt at peace with, like there were two separate sides to him that clashed against one another. Control and chaos. But a kid was missing and the odds of this call having a happy ending dwindled with every passing minute. That mattered more than Eddie’s hang-ups. Eddie thought of Chris, safe at home with Carla. If it were Chris out there, Eddie would do anything to find him.

“Cap- if you get me his scent I can shift and find him faster.” Eddie said before he could second guess himself.

Bobby looked surprised. Understandable, given this wasn’t something Eddie had ever offered to do before. But, to his credit, He recovered quickly and headed to the family to ask for something that might smell like the kid.

“Hey- I’m borrowing the ambulance for sec.” Was all the warning Eddie gave Hen and Chim before he hopped inside and pulled the doors to. Not all the way shut, he couldn’t open doors with his paws. He’d learned that lesson the hard way.

When he pushed his way out of the ambulance and leapt lightly to the road, Hen and Chim were watching him with undisguised interest. Ravi looked a little shocked.

Ignoring them, Eddie trotted over to Bobby and waited patiently. Aaron’s mother passed over a t-shirt and Bobby offered it out to Eddie. It was a little funny, the way Bobby didn’t seem to be sure whether to treat him like a person or a wolf.

But then Eddie had the scent and he drove other thoughts out. He had a trail to follow. As he bounded after it, he remembered at the last moment not to run flat out, as his instinct told him to. He needed the team to be able to follow him, especially if the child was hurt.

He ran between houses through the suburban sprawl, following the scent easily. As the fastest runner, Ravi was the closest following behind. Then Eddie came to a fence. The bottom section had rotted away, leaving a hole big enough for a child to wriggle under. Eddie poked his head through and saw a little boy in a spider-man shirt and jean shorts.

Aaron stared at Eddie with big eyes.

The hole in the fence wasn’t quite big enough for Eddie to squeeze through, he bit and scratched at the wood. When Ravi caught up he realized what was going on quickly and widened the hole with a few sharp kicks with his sturdy boots. Eddie shuffled through, slowly approaching Aaron.

The kid was wary as he watched Eddie get closer, but he stayed very still. The reason for that was clear when Eddie noticed the barbed wire wrapped around his leg, sharp spikes digging into his flesh. Eddie got low and approached slowly, trying to show he wasn’t a threat.

When Aaron reached out tentatively to pet his head, Eddie allowed it. Much as he wouldn’t admit it out loud, Eddie found being patted kind of soothing.

When the team managed to find their way into the back garden through a rusted gate, Eddie pointed his nose at the barbed wire.

“Nicely done Eddie.” Bobby said as Hen and Chim got to work.

Eddie sat on his haunches and watched, in no particular hurry to shift back. They had the situation well in hand.

“Buck is gonna be so mad he missed this.” Hen said with a smile. “We’re going to have to give him a full play by play.”

Eddie wished Buck had been there to see it, he would have been ecstatic to see Eddie breaking out more of his werewolf abilities.

“Yeah, you really crushed it Lassie.” Chim reached out as if to pet Eddie’s head.

Growling Eddie snapped his teeth close enough to Chim’s hand to make him fall back. Aaron broke into a peal of giggles, making the team laugh along.

“Alright alright, no petting.” Chim held his hands up in surrender as he backed off.

“Okay Aaron.” Bobby said warmly once they’d cut away the barbed wire. “Let’s get you back to your parents.”

-

When they got back to the station after Aaron’s parents had accompanied him to the hospital, they set about plating dinner as quickly as they could. The alarm could ring at any moment.

Eddie was human again, but he’d forgotten how relaxing shifting could be sometimes. How it made him feel a little more settled in his skin.

“So-” Ravi began as they sat down to eat. “The other mage that worked here- Buck?”

“He still works here.” Eddie bit out automatically.

Bobby glanced away. It was odd, but before Eddie could think much of it Ravi was continuing.

“Right- of course. I was just wondering, is he really a death mage?”

The team glanced at one another. It was no secret really, everyone who worked at the 118 knew the truth.

“Yes he is.” Hen said when the silence had stretched too long.

Ravi leaned back in his seat and whistled. “I never thought I would actually have the chance to meet a death mage, let alone actually work with one.”

This was a strange opportunity to get a different perspective on death mages. Eddie had heard plenty from Buck of course, but that was skewed by a lifetime of being treated like he was an unexploded bomb. “No?”

“They’re just so like- insular. I studied some magic at college but I still only know a little about them. They have their own methods of teaching and mentorship that elemental mages aren’t really supposed to know about. They have their own global council too, completely self governed.”

Chim, who hadn’t heard as much of this information from Buck as Eddie had, leaned forward with interest. “Completely? They have no oversight or whatever?”

Ravi spread his hands. “Do you want to be the one to tell someone who can kill you with a look what they can and can’t do?”

For a moment Eddie wanted to protest that Buck couldn’t kill anyone with a look. But as he thought about it, he realized it was more that he wouldn’t than that he couldn’t.

But Ravi had moved on anyway. “Did he really hold up a building on his own?”

In terms of the rumors about Buck he could have heard, that was certainly one of the better ones.

Hen nodded, expression turning more serious. “I was trapped under rubble after the earthquake a few months ago. But the team ignored orders and came in to get me. Buck saved all of us, the building would have come down if not for him.”

Ravi looked thoroughly impressed. “I managed to lift a car once and I thought that was pretty good. But a whole building? That kind of power has to be volatile.”

“Buck has it handled.” Eddie said with complete confidence. “I’ve worked with a few mages, and I’ve never once felt worried about Buck’s ability to wield his magic.” About Buck’s disregard for his own safety and reckless tendencies, yes. But never his magical skill. Buck wielded his magic as easily as breathing most of the time, probably a combination of innate talent and long practice.

Bobby had been oddly quiet the whole conversation. He wasn’t usually shy about praising Buck where he deserved it, but now he just stared into his spaghetti, clearly miles away.

“Well, I look forward to working with him.” Ravi shoved a big forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

Hen complained about his table manners and Chim copied Ravi just to annoy her, and the topic was forgotten.

Mostly, Eddie was ready for the shift to be over so he could go home and hug Chris. And- maybe he would see Buck soon.

-

Buck stared at the ground, frozen to the spot.

‘Not recommended to return to work’.

The words rolled around in Buck’s head, echoing with finality. They had decided he wasn’t fit to work yet. Only, as he’d desperately read through the sheaf of papers they’d handed him, he couldn’t find a single evaluation he’d failed. Doctors, psychologists, fire academy mentors, they had all given him a clean bill of health. He’d even broken records during his recertification. And yet.

Was this because of his magic? Buck didn’t see another reason there could be for this. Surely if someone else had come out with these results they would have been allowed back immediately.

Buck was due to join Bobby and Athena for dinner the next evening. He’d been hoping it would be to celebrate his clearance to work. But now it seemed he would have to ask Bobby to stand up for him. Surely if his captain vouched for him they couldn’t keep him from working.

After everything that had happened, Buck just wanted to stay.

Chapter Text

“Buck.” Bobby smiled as he opened the front door for him.

“Hi Bobby.” Buck said happily, stepping into the house. Strangely, it felt like a long time since he’d last been there, though it had only been a month ago.

“It’s good to see you. How are you feeling?” Bobby had asked the same question almost every time he’d seen Buck since the bombing. He never seemed to get bored of hearing the answer.

“I’m alright.” Buck said easily as he looked further into the house, avoiding Bobby’s gaze a little. It was close enough to the truth, physically he was perfectly fine. “How are you?”

“Oh, you know. Busy as ever.” Turning, Bobby led the way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. “Athena has been cooking up a storm.”

“Smells great in here.” Buck said enthusiastically, loud enough for Athena to hear over the music she was playing as she cooked. While Buck had missed Bobby’s cooking, Athena’s cooking was a rare treat.

“Buck.” Athena said warmly as she opened her arms in offer of a hug that Buck gratefully accepted. She squeezed him tight, always giving great hugs despite being significantly smaller than him. “I hope you brought your appetite, there’s plenty.”

“Oh I did, don’t you worry.” Buck assured her.

He was still a little in awe of how fond she seemed to be of him. After completely botching their first interaction, Buck had assumed he would live in her bad books forever. And she still teased him about it on occasion, but it seemed he had genuinely been forgiven.

“Alright boys, you set the table while I finish up here.” Athena waved them away, turning back to the stove.

Given that Buck found a way to help out at every gathering he was invited to, he already knew where to find the plates and cutlery.

“How is Alexandra?” Bobby asked as he got them all drinks.

“She’s fine as far as I know. Back in DC.” Buck shrugged, he wasn’t really expecting to hear from her just yet.

Pausing, Bobby looked over at him. “In DC? But- I thought you were helping her with- her work.”

“I was.” Buck nodded. “But she had to take her findings to the Mortis. She’ll be back at some point.”

It took Buck a moment to realize Bobby was watching him. Buck raised an eyebrow, confused.

Bobby opened his mouth as if to speak, but then he just shook his head and handed Buck a soda.

They made more small talk until the table was set and all the food had been brought out. As they took their seats and began filling plates, Buck began to realize he wouldn’t be able to properly concentrate on anything else until he’d talked about what was eating him from the inside out.

“So- I got the verdict back from the board.” Buck began.

Bobby and Athena glanced at one another, both tense.

“And how did that go?” Bobby asked carefully.

“They won’t let me come back.” Frustration leaked into Buck’s tone.

There was silence for a long moment before Athena finally said, “That must have been difficult.”

“It’s ridiculous. Everyone has signed off on me, I can’t find a single assessment I actually failed. But they still won’t let me back, some idiot has said no.”

Athena looked at Bobby.

Bobby looked at his plate.

Buck continued, unable to stop the flood of words now he’d started. “I know they made their decision or whatever but- surely they can’t do this. I thought- I mean- maybe if we got the team together and everyone made like- a statement or- or something they’d have to at least reconsider.”

“Buck-” Bobby still stared at his plate.

“I mean- it’s insane that they can just arbitrarily say I can’t work just because some idiot doesn’t-”

“I’m the idiot!” Bobby burst out.

It was like being dunked in icy water. “What?”

Finally Bobby was looking at him. “You’re not ready. It’s only been a month since the bombing and you’re not at 100 percent yet.”

“But I am!” Buck half shouted. “I’m ready to work! Bobby-”

“Your magic hasn’t recovered yet.” Bobby pointed out.

That was technically true, but the mage doing his assessment had cleared him. Buck’s version of being magic depleted was pretty much a normal amount of magic for most mages. “So? I’m fine!”

“It’s a liability. I have 20 other firefighters under my command that I have to think about- I need you at 100 percent.” Bobby’s tone was flat, leaving no room for argument. “You’re not ready.”

“Not-” It was like he’d been punched in the gut. A liability.

The chair shrieked against the floor as Buck stood abruptly.

“Buck-” Bobby said.

“You don’t have to go-” Athena tried.

Numbly, Buck looked at Athena. “Thank you for inviting me.” Buck turned and walked away.

“Buck!” Bobby stood, as though to chase him.

But Buck was already taking the stairs two at a time. He slammed the front door behind him without really meaning to and ran straight for his jeep.

-

In his lifetime Buck had encountered many reactions when his employers found out what he was. Some of them had fired him on the spot, screamed at him to never come back. But some people wanted to be nice about it. They said they were downsizing, taking the role in a different direction, or just hinted that he should move on until his stupid slow brain finally caught the hint.

Of course Bobby would want to be nice about it. Would want to let Buck down gently, make it seem like he just wasn’t fit for duty. Bobby was a good man. But Buck was out of chances. Bobby had given him more than anyone ever had, putting up with more of his bullshit than anyone other than Alexandra had been able to. And she was obligated to stick with Buck, she was his mentor.

But everyone had a breaking point. Had a moment when they realized Buck was just too much trouble to keep around, too much of a liability.

Why that breaking point came now, Buck wasn’t sure. The bombing hadn’t been his fault. And they didn’t have to take him to Bobby’s house after, they could have left him on the street and he would have been just fine. Part of him wished they had, maybe he wouldn’t seem like a liability if he could have just turned up fine after a few days.

Alexandra had been right. This one hurt. Possibly worse than anything had since his mother looked him in the eye and called him a monster. Was he ever going to learn his lesson?

Buck stood in the middle of his tiny, shitty apartment. He would have lived there forever if it meant he could keep working with the 118. But it was out of his hands now.

Slowly, as if puppeted by strings, Buck began packing away his things. He made no conscious decision to do so, but he’d packed up his life and moved so many times it was like second nature by now.

Moving to take things from the windowsill, Buck’s gaze caught. There sat Milly, the little metal dolphin Suzy had given him. Picking it up, Buck ran his thumb across one of the scratches carved into the metal as he sat on the edge of his bed.

He had helped Suzy in a way few people would have been able to. Allowed her to move on from where she’d been stuck. Buck was good at his job, he knew he was. It was the first job he’d ever had that actually meant something, like he was really making a difference. Not just wandering around killing time.

Maybe… it wouldn’t be the same but maybe he could be a firefighter again, somewhere else. Only, if Bobby didn’t want him working as a firefighter in LA, he wouldn’t be likely to recommend him to do it somewhere else.

Laying back on his bed, Buck stared at the waterstained ceiling.

He would miss Maddie. But they could call, there were plenty of siblings that didn’t live in the same city. And if things kept going the way they had been between her and Chim, he would keep in contact with him through Maddie.

He would miss Hen too, her calm wisdom and quick jokes.

And Eddie- oh that one hurt too much to think about. To leave him and Chris- could Buck really do that?

But they were busy with Shannon, rebuilding their family. It didn’t seem like there was space for him in that.

Buck didn’t want to think about anything. He just lay there and let his mind wander, still holding the dolphin in one hand.

-

Buck woke to his phone buzzing. Fumbling to find it, he grunted when he found something sharp instead. He set the dolphin aside gently and finally found the phone.

“‘Llo?” Buck mumbled as he answered the call. It wasn’t often he slept that deeply for that long.

“Buck! Hey, sorry, did I wake you?” Eddie’s voice sounded harassed.

It woke Buck up a little more. “S’fine.”

“Sorry, I know it’s early but-” That was the tone Eddie got when he needed something and he was dreading having to ask for it.

Buck sat up. “What’s up?”

Eddie sighed. “Carla’s sick and Chris doesn’t have school today. Do you think you could watch him?”

“Of course!” Buck said immediately. There were very few things that would make him turn down quality time with Chris. “Yeah- I can be there in like- an hour?”

“Thanks.” Eddie’s voice was full of relief. “See you soon.”

When Buck hung up, he looked at his half heartedly packed apartment. Maybe… no. If he thought about that he’d just spiral and be late. He forced himself up and into the shower.

Just under an hour later, Buck pulled into the Diaz drive. For a moment he just sat in his car and took a deep breath. He needed to seem normal, Eddie and Chris were both perceptive and he didn’t want to worry either of them. Finally he just had to go in.

He unlocked the front door with the key Eddie had given him for when he was looking after Chris. The moment the door opened, he heard Chris’ excited voice. “Buck!”

In the face of that excitement, it was easy to reflect it back. “Hey Chris!” Kneeling to his level, Buck wrapped Chris in a hug.

“I haven’t seen you in ages.” Chris complained into Buck’s shoulder.

Buck’s heart clenched. It had only been a few weeks but for a kid that felt like a lifetime. “Well I’m here now.” He tried to ignore the rising guilt that reminded him he might not be around much longer.

Could he really leave them? Maybe there was some way to fight the decision- to prove that he was actually fit for work. Would they bother giving a death mage a second chance?

“Hey.” Eddie appeared in the kitchen doorway and Chris finally let go of Buck.

“Hey.” Buck stood.

“Thanks for doing this, I know it’s late notice.” Eddie smiled in a way that had Buck smiling back automatically.

“Hey, hanging out with Chris is always a privilege. We’ll have a great time, right Chris?”

“Right!” Chris clacked one of his crutches against the ground for emphasis. “Oh! I have to show you my new science project!” Turning, he headed back to his bedroom.

Before Buck could follow him, Eddie sent him an odd look. “You alright?”

Buck blinked. He thought he’d been putting up a good show of being fine but evidently not. “Yeah. Yeah I’m alright.”

“You sure? You seem…” Eddie trailed off like he didn’t know what he was trying to say.

“Really. And you’re going to be late for work if you don’t get moving.” The change of subject was too obvious, but at least it was true.

Eddie glanced at his watch and frowned. “Right. Chris!”

Buck followed Eddie into Chris’s room.

“I’ve gotta get going buddy.” Leaning down, Eddie pressed a kiss to the top of Chris’ head. “Be good for Buck, I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

“Okay, bye dad!” In true seven year old fashion, Chris was more interested in finding what he wanted to show Buck, only giving Eddie a cursory glance.

Then Eddie paused at Buck’s side, watching him intently. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Buck was going to have to get better at acting or come up with a good excuse for acting weird because he was pretty sure Eddie wasn’t going to let him get away with a subject change next time. “See you.” He said faintly.

Eddie put a hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezed once. Then he left for work.

After three calming breaths, Buck turned to Chris. “Alright kiddo. What do we want to do today?”

Chapter Text

“Alright.” Buck put his hands on his hips, surveying the pier. The mid-morning sun was bright, painting the already colorful buildings almost neon. “What do we want to do first?”

In Buck’s solo explorations of LA he hadn’t been to the pier yet. But he was more than happy to follow Chris’ lead. Eddie had once said it was sometimes more fun watching Chris enjoy something than it was to enjoy something himself. The more time Buck spent with Chris, the more he saw the truth in that.

For a moment, Chris seemed overwhelmed by the sheer number of options. Brightly colored signs advertised all kinds of carnival games.

But then he pointed excitedly. “Bumper cars!”

“Then bumper cars it is.” Mostly Buck was just glad Chris didn’t want to go on the roller-coaster. He was definitely under the height requirement for it. “Let’s go!”

Chris was a good kid. He didn’t generally complain about needing help with things unless he was already in a bad mood about something else. For the most part he just accepted that the way he did things was a little different than the way others did. But it was always nice to find something he could do completely unassisted.

Apparently one of those things was driving a bumper car. The steering wheel was easy enough to move that Chris could drive by himself. And honestly he was a bit of a menace, deliberately cutting people off and cackling with laughter.

Buck stood on the sideline, cheering Chris on and filming a video to show to Eddie later.

There was an odd kind of ripple in the ambient magic. Small but enough to be noticeable. Buck stood up straighter, trying to work out whether it was natural fluctuation or the sign of something else. It disappeared before he could dig into it, and Chris was shouting for Buck’s attention.

Buck spent far more money than was sensible on game tokens. If Eddie found out how much, he’d definitely be mad about it. But Buck couldn’t bring himself to care. If he did… if he did end up having to leave, this might be one of the last times he could do something like this with Chris. Maybe he could visit… Buck forced himself not to think about it before he started spiraling.

They hooked ducks, popped balloons, shot water guns and whacked moles. Given the rigged nature of these kinds of games they mostly won tiny things like stickers and key chains, but Chris was ecstatic nonetheless. He was especially pleased with a penguin key chain Buck managed to win him at the rope ladder climb.

After they both washed their cotton-candy-sticky hands, Buck turned to Chris. “Alright, time for more sunscreen.”

“Do I have to?” Chris grumbled, attention clearly focused on the whack-a-mole game he wanted another go at.

“Sorry bud, but sunscreen is non-negotiable. But if it helps, I’ll put it on too.”

Chris squinted at him suspiciously. “You need sunscreen? But you’re a mage.”

Buck laughed. “Yeah, well mages still need sunscreen.”

Technically he didn’t, most days he could heal a sunburn even as it happened. But it was easier to convince Chris to sit still if it was something Buck had to do too. Not to mention his magic was still depleted, no need to waste it on a sunburn.

They found an open bench by the railing and sat together. Chris squirmed and complained about the sunscreen feeling ‘icky’ but Buck managed to cover everywhere that wasn’t covered by his shirt anyway. Mostly by performatively rubbing sunscreen into his own skin. Then Chris stood on the bench and watched the open sea while Buck held onto the back of his shirt.

Buck watched idly as a group of firefighters across the pier readied a patient for transport.

“Hey Chris- what do you want to be when you grow up?” He twisted his neck to look up at Chris’ face.

“Hmm. A pirate- or an astronaut.” Chris said confidently.

Grinning, Buck nodded at him. “Good choices.”

“Did you always want to be a firefighter? Even as a kid?”

Buck thought about it. Firefighter was a classic kid aspiration. But Buck couldn’t really remember what he’d wanted to be as a kid. He mostly just remembered wanting to be something else, something other than what he was. Something easier to love, maybe.

He remembered when Maddie had read the Chronicles of Narnia to him as a kid. Buck had been so captivated by the idea of disappearing into another world he’d checked every door he could find for months. Then as a young teenager when Alexandra had taught him how to shift into animals, Buck had spent hours and hours in animal form.

“For a while I wanted to be a lion- like Aslan.”

Chris scrunched his nose in confusion. “A lion?”

That made Buck laugh. “Yeah, pretty silly huh.”

But Chris tipped his head, considering this. “I think you’d make a good lion. But you’re a better firefighter.”

Buck’s chest constricted. “Yeah. Me too.” But he was distracted by another ripple in the ambient magic. It had been happening all morning, but this one was bigger. Buck sat up slightly, trying to trace it.

“Hey Buck?” Chris asked.

“Yeah kiddo?”

“Where did all the water go?”

Buck whipped around and stared out over the railing. For one frozen, horrified moment, he could only stare at the rocky seabed where the ocean should be.

Then he kicked into action.

Grabbing Chris by the waist, Buck threw him over his shoulder. “Tsunami!” He screamed. “Run! Get off the pier!”

The sirens began to blare as people started to run. But they were at the very end of the pier, no way they would make it to safety in time. They had minutes at the very most before it hit.

Desperate, Buck looked for somewhere they could ride out the initial crush of the first wave. The closest place was one of the game stalls, so Buck carefully lowered Chris into it and jumped in after him.

Huddling close to the wall, Buck drew Chris into his arms and held him close. “Try to hold your breath and stay with me, okay?”

“Okay.” Chris agreed, frightened but determined.

A little curl of pride bloomed in his chest about how brave Chris was being.

Then the water hit.

Buck kept them anchored in a bubble of air for as long as he could. But even on his best day, he couldn’t hold out against the sheer natural power of the ocean. He focused his energy on keeping air around Chris even as they were washed away.

The first death burst across his senses. Someone crushed against one of the buildings on the pier- their lungs collapsed by the sheer weight of the water. Buck struggled to reach out and use the power while keeping Chris safe.

They were tumbled around like a washing machine until Buck couldn’t tell up from down. More deaths pressed on his awareness, each one making the Grey heavier.

Going from almost no magic to so much it was pressing on his consciousness was even more disorienting. The whiplash of it threatened to drown him almost as much as the water. He tried to close himself off from the magic, momentarily taking no more into his reserves.

The water ripped Chris from his arms. Buck screamed. But the current was too strong.

Buck surfaced. He was looking for Chris before he’d even caught his breath.

“Chris!” He choked out, clearing his lungs so he could scream, “Chris!”

“Buck!” Chris shouted.

The relief was better than air. “Chris! Stay there!”

Chris was desperately clinging to a pole, fighting against the water rushing around him. He had done well to hold on, but he wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long. Angling himself through the water, Buck reached out for Chris. It took a burst of magic to get close enough to grab him, catching Chris just as his fingers slipped from the pole.

“Buck-” Chris spluttered, trying to keep his head up.

Buck cradled the back of Chris’ head, tilting it up so his mouth was out of the water. “It’s okay, it’s okay buddy. Just breathe. Hold on to me.”

Chris did as he was told, cold little fingers biting into Buck’s skin hard enough to hurt. But Buck didn’t care if Chris held on hard enough to break bone, as long as he was safe in Buck’s arms.

When he was confident Chris could breathe, Buck looked around for somewhere they could be safe for a little while. Enough to ride out the other waves before the water finally began to recede.

In a strange stroke of irony or luck, Buck caught sight of a fire truck. It had ‘136’ emblazoned on the side. Not a house Buck could remember working with before. But he knew without a doubt they’d be happy to lend him use of the truck, given the circumstances.

“Look, Chris.”

“Fire truck!” Chris said excitedly.

Buck used the rushing water to steer them towards the truck, with Chris doing an admirable job of keeping afloat with minimal intervention from Buck. He helped Chris up onto the roof of the truck, then managed to haul himself up after.

“Chris- you okay?” He asked breathlessly as he checked the boy over for blood.

“I’m okay. I took surfing lessons.” Chris grinned at him.

Buck laughed breathlessly, smoothing his hand over Chris’ wet hair and gently pressing their foreheads together. “Yeah? You’ll have to teach me.”

They shuffled to the centre of the truck, getting as secure as possible. Chris had a scrape on his hand but that was the worst of his injuries, by some small miracle.

“Help!” Someone screamed.

Buck’s head popped up in response to the shout, searching for the source.

“Help!” The woman screamed again.

Then Buck caught sight of her, struggling against the rushing waters. He hesitated, looking down at Chris. But Chris was about as safe as he was going to get for the moment. And Buck could never ignore a cry for help.

“You have to help.” Chris said confidently, like there was no other possible option.

Buck supposed there wasn’t. “Yeah, I’m gonna go help her. You have to stay right here though okay? Don’t move. Promise?”

“Promise.” Crossing his finger over his chest, Chris nodded solemnly at him.

“Alright.” Buck turned and began making his way toward the woman.

Time blurred. Buck was in and out of the water over and over, pulling people up into the relative safety of the truck. The miasma of death grew stronger, pressing on him from all sides. Buck siphoned the magic to use in rescuing as many people as he possibly could, but there were still so many dead.

Between each rescue, Buck checked on Chris. Trying to make sure he wasn’t seeing too much of the devastation. He seemed tired but otherwise in decent spirits, talking and joking with the others. Keeping the mood as light as it could be, given the situation. He was an absolute miracle of a kid, not even complaining.

Buck went out again, trying to reach an older man that had gotten caught in debris. But just as he got there, another wave hit. Tilting everything sideways with the force of it. The older man was swept away, freed from the debris by the movement of the water.

But then Buck heard a high voice shout. He turned just in time to see the fire truck tilting, throwing those he’d rescued off into the water.

“Chris!” Buck screamed, even as he was thrown from the car he stood on into the rushing water.

He opened his magic, only to be hit with a barrage of death. Gritting his teeth, he sorted through the signatures. Searching for Chris’ unique life. The water was thick enough with the Grey that the only thing he could tell was that Chris wasn’t dead.

Buck clung desperately to that fact. Chris wasn’t dead.

“Chris!” He screamed again, ignoring the way it tore at his throat.

It took him far too long to get his feet under him again. As soon as he did, Buck kept searching for Chris, ignoring the way keeping his senses open let magic pour into him.

He trudged forward, calling for Chris.

As he put his foot down, some sharp hidden debris tore into his leg. But with so much magic coursing through him, the wound was healing even as it was made. He had to yank the thing out of him as his flesh tried to heal around it.

Some interminable time later, he heard someone else calling for help. Buck could practically hear Chris’ voice in his head. ‘You have to help.’

And Chris was right.

He turned toward the noise.

There was a man desperately pulling at a car door, trying to free someone inside.

“Hi.” Buck said.

The man looked at him with wide eyes.

Buck knew his magic was visible, that it was probably scaring people. But he just didn’t have the capacity to hide it. “Stand back.”

The man just stood there, still staring. But Buck didn’t have time to stand around and negotiate. So he used his magic to gently move the man out of the way.

Then he turned to the car and ripped the door off in one violent shriek of metal. The teenager inside stared at him too. How Buck’s magic must look, he had no idea. He hated to scare people, but there was nothing he could do about it just then.

“Stay still.”

The teen did as he was told as Buck used his magic like the jaws of life. Peeling back the metal until the leg was freed. Buck focused on the leg, trying to remember all his medical training. But- he hardly needed it. He just- knew. Not broken, deep muscle bruising. That- that wasn’t something his magic normally did.

“Just bruising. Can you move it?”

The teen experimentally moved his leg, then nodded even as he winced in pain.

Buck offered his hand out to help the kid out of the car. For a moment Buck thought he was going to shrink back and refuse the help. But then he took the hand and let Buck pull him out and to his feet.

“Kyle!” The man said, moving up to them and putting an arm under Kyle’s shoulders to help take his weight as he stood.

“I’m okay dad. He said it’s just bruised- I think he’s right.”

They both turned to Buck then.

“Thank you.” The kid said, sounding tired and grateful.

Buck barely registered it, just nodding in response. “Have you guys seen a kid? Seven years old- striped shirt, red glasses, curly hair.”

The two of them glanced at one another, then shook their heads.

“No.” The guy said, sounding apologetic. “We haven’t seen a kid, I’m sorry.”

Buck’s heart sank, but he just nodded again, “You should get onto the car and stay here. The rescue crews will be sweeping the area, you’ll be found quicker if you stay still.” If they wandered into an area that had already been cleared they might not be found for hours, and the kid couldn’t walk far on that leg.

“How do you know all this?” Kyle asked.

“I’m a firefighter.” Buck said, though he had no idea if that was still true.

After helping them up onto the roof of the car, Buck walked away to continue his search.

Buck had known death. Had been in places where a lot of people had died around him. But this was a whole other level. Buck had never actually been in the middle of a mass casualty event. The Grey always felt like a sentient thing, but now it roared. It pulled on his awareness, offering more power than he’d ever felt. He understood better than ever the death mages that had allowed themselves to be consumed by their own magic, had shed their humanity entirely.

He should close off his magic, he knew he should. The longer he moved the more overloaded he was getting. His skin was ice cold, his magic dark in the air around him. But he just couldn’t stop- he had to keep searching. He had to find Chris. Had to- had to know he wasn’t dead.

If Chris was hurt, Buck would never forgive himself.

Chapter Text

“Here.” Eddie tossed a bottle of water to Ravi.

“Thanks.” Ravi snatched the bottle from the air. Sitting on the edge of a decorative flower bed, Ravi looked like a wet cat that had been through a vigorous spin cycle.

Taking a seat beside him, Eddie swigged his own water. “Pretty tough day for your first month with us.”

“Yeah.” Ravi wiped the back of his hand over his forehead, mostly smearing the dirt around. “I guess I didn’t realize how much I was relying on Roland.”

“Roland?” Eddie asked.

“My mentor during my probie year. He was great- really got me through some tough moments. Doing all this alone-” Ravi gestured to the chaos around them. “I’m not so sure I’m cut out for this.”

“Hey.” Turning to him, Eddie looked at Ravi seriously. “You’ve done great today. This is a tough day for all of us, but you’ve held it together great.”

“Guess this isn’t exactly a typical day on the job.” As he looked back at Eddie he managed a half hearted smile.

“No, it isn’t.”

The whole day was something of a blur. Eddie and Ravi had scaled a ferris wheel, cut two people out of a crashed boat, pulled people out of a gas leak, and those were just the ones that stood out. They’d also escorted plenty of people to the field hospitals in various states of injury.

Given Eddie’s physiology, he had more stamina than the average firefighter. But even he was feeling the strain after a day like that, with only a few brief breaks. As the day began to slide towards night, he knew it would only be a few more hours before they were switched out with a relief crew. The next few days would be nonstop as they continued dealing with the fallout, but a few hours of uninterrupted rest sounded pretty heavenly just then.

He also wanted to get home to Buck and Chris. There hadn’t been any signal for him to check in, but he assumed Buck would have seen the news and would know that Eddie would be held up for a while. He was already going to owe Buck for watching Chris, but now he was going to have to think of something really good to pay Buck back.

Ravi looked down at his hands, flexing them slowly. “It’s so weird- the magic just feels wrong.” The source of Ravi’s magic was water, so he had been invaluable in keeping people alive in the water long enough to be rescued.

“Because of the tsunami?”

“I guess so.” Uncertainly, Ravi looked around them. “I mean- I’ve never been in a natural disaster before so… I don’t really have experience to say either way.”

Eddie wondered momentarily whether Buck’s almost encyclopedic knowledge of magic would extend to how water based magic was affected during natural disasters.

“Boys!” Hen called across the street. “Come eat before we go back out.”

Eddie clapped Ravi on the shoulder. “Let’s go probie.”

Groaning, Ravi rolled his eyes as he stood. “I’m not even a probie any more.”

“You are as far as we’re concerned!” Chim shot back before Eddie could even think of a response.

They laughed tiredly as they went to get food.

-

The team was sweeping the streets looking for survivors. Eddie with Hen and Chim with Ravi, Bobby coordinating and keeping everyone in sight.

If asked later, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to explain how he knew. Maybe it was the scent, maybe it was the sound of his heartbeat, maybe it was just some deeply ingrained instinct from centuries of evolution. Whatever it might have been, Eddie knew that his son was close.

He darted forwards, ignoring the questions from Hen as he disappeared around the corner out of her sight. There- Eddie would recognize that head of hair anywhere, even matted with dirt.

At the sound of Eddie splashing through the ankle deep water, Chris turned around. “Dad?” He asked, voice a little croaky.

Chris was absolutely filthy, face awkwardly cleaned like it had been rubbed with an already dirty cloth. His glasses were missing and he squinted up at Eddie like he wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing.

“Chris.” Eddie said roughly, his voice barely sounding like himself.

“Dad!”

In the same moment they lurched towards one another, Eddie gathering Chris into his arms. Chris was shaking like a leaf as he clung to Eddie, crying into his chest. The gasping kind of crying that happened when he was too tired to cry properly.

“Chris-” Eddie murmured into his hair. “Chris what- are you hurt?” He tried to pull back and check him over, but Chris was clinging too tightly and Eddie didn’t dare pull too hard on him in case he injured him further.

“He has a cut on his arm but otherwise I think he’s okay.” A woman that Eddie hadn’t even noticed until then said gently. She was dirty too, with a scrape across her temple.

“Thanks.” Eddie managed, owing her much more than that for looking after Chris during a natural disaster, but he was unable to do anything else just then.

“Are you Buck?”

For a moment Eddie stared at her. “Buck?”

She gave a small helpless shrug. “He was looking for someone called Buck.”

That kicked Eddie’s stalling brain back into gear. Of course, Chris had been with Buck today. So where was he?

“Eddie- Chris?” Hen asked with shock as she approached them.

Eddie turned to her. “Hen I need to check him out, he has a cut and I’m not sure what else.”

“Yeah- yeah of course.” Hen said immediately. “Bobby! Chim!”

The team convened around some abandoned cafe chairs that they righted so they could sit. Chim took over helping the woman with the cut on her head as Eddie sat with Chris on his lap.

“Hey Chris, can I take a look at you?” Hen asked gently. It was helpful, that Hen already knew Chris.

Still hiding his face in Eddie’s chest, Chris hiccuped and mumbled, still upset. “I- you have to-”

Eddie tried to soothe him with a hand on the back of his head. “You need to let Hen take a look so we can-”

“No- Buck! You have to find Buck! He- he saved me- but then- the water- the truck- it was-” Chris was hyperventilating too much to speak properly.

“Okay, okay.” Eddie soothed, grasping desperately for a sense of calm that felt miles away. “We’ll find Buck, it’s alright. We’ll find him. But you have to breathe for me Chris.”

Then he took Chris through a breathing exercise Shannon had taught Chris when he was little, one she’d had to show Eddie when he got back from Afghanistan. It had seen them through many a tantrum.

They breathed together, in and out, until Chris’ shaking calmed just a little.

“Alright. Now, can you let Hen check you’re okay?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah.” Chris whispered, slumping back against Eddie.

Hen was efficient and kind in her examination. It turned out Chris had a cut on one arm, a big bruise on his ribs, several smaller cuts and bruises and he was a little dehydrated. But that seemed to be the worst of it. Caught between being grateful it wasn’t worse and hating this had happened at all, Eddie hugged Chris to him.

Now that Chris was calmer and had been given a bottle of water, he managed to tell the story of what had happened. That they’d been on the pier that morning, that Buck had protected him through the first waves. How they’d been separated as Buck tried to rescue more people, but a kind lady had kept an eye on Chris as they tried to find help.

Eddie’s heart dropped at the thought of Chris and Buck on the pier, on the very front line of the disaster. It was nothing less than a miracle that they’d survived. A miracle that was no doubt down to Buck and his magic.

“Alright Chris, we should get you back.” Eddie paused, torn between the desperate need to know with complete certainty that Chris was safe, and the need to find Buck.

Admittedly Buck had a much higher chance of surviving than almost anyone else. But what Eddie did worry about was Buck running himself into the ground to help everyone around him. His limits were difficult to hit but they did exist and Buck wouldn’t be able to stop himself if someone needed his help.

“I’ll go with Chris.” Hen offered quietly. “I’ll take him home with me and you can pick him up as soon as you’re ready.”

Grateful but still a little reluctant to let Chris out of his sight, Eddie looked at her. “Are you sure?”

The nod Hen gave him was confident and reassuring. “Completely sure. I get the feeling he won’t rest until he sees Buck, but he may as well be somewhere comfortable. Maybe Denny can help distract him for a bit.”

It made sense, and Eddie trusted Hen implicitly with his son. The 118 may as well be family, and they would all treat Chris as such.

Kneeling down, Eddie got to Chris’ level so he could look him in the eye. “Are you alright to go with Hen?”

“I wanna go find Buck.” Chris whined, sounding even younger than he really was.

“I know you do, baby. But I need to know you’re safe, okay? I’m going to go find Buck.”

Finally, Chris met his eyes. “You’ll find him?”

“I will. But I need you to go with Hen so I can focus on that okay?” Eddie pressed his hand to Chris’ chest, reassured by his heartbeat.

“Okay.” Chris agreed.

They hugged then, both of them clinging as close as they could for long moments. But eventually they had to let go.

“I love you Chris. I’ll see you soon.” Eddie’s voice was just a little choked with emotion.

“Love you dad.” With one last hug, Chris turned to go. But he paused before he got to Hen and turned back to him. “Tell Buck I love him too?”

Eddie had no clue how to label the emotion welling in his chest in response to that. So he just nodded. “Yeah. I’ll tell him.”

Eddie watched as Hen picked up Chris and the two of them headed for where they were transporting people away from the coastline.

“Alright.” Bobby said seriously. “Let’s go find Buck.”

-

Once they knew to look for him, Buck wasn’t that hard to find. The disruption in the ambient magic was obvious as soon as they entered the vicinity. Though, they couldn’t actually see Buck straight away. Only his magic.

The writhing black mass of magic moved like a tank down the street, steady and unstoppable. The few people in its path scattered, apart from a young person who tripped. A single tendril of magic reached out and curled around them, placing them gently on their feet. The person seemed caught between confusion and fear, and backed against the wall of a shop as the magic continued past them.

“Holy shit.” Ravi whispered. This was an insane way for Ravi to get a first impression of Buck’s magic. “Is it- it’s not usually like this, right?” He asked faintly.

“No.” Chim said emphatically. “Not like this.”

The thing was, Eddie had understood that Buck was powerful. That he could do things most mages couldn’t even dream of doing alone. But this was the first time Eddie was truly understanding that Buck had the capacity to be dangerous.

This was the kind of power that inspired the scary stories told around campfires about death mages. That they could raze cities and wipe out civilizations. The air crackled with it, to the point that even normal humans could feel it from blocks away.

They could hardly even see Buck in the magic, only catching brief glimpses of something pale under all that darkness as the tendrils moved back and forth.

Eddie looked at his team, but they were all completely out of their depth. Eddie was pretty sure even the dedicated mage response unit would be out of their depth here. So it was up to him.

He stepped forward, ignoring Chim’s low warning of ‘be careful’. Slowly, Eddie placed himself right in the path of the oncoming magic.

Tendrils reached towards him and Eddie stayed very still, forcing himself not to flinch in the face of the sheer amount of power on display here.

But it was as soft and cool as Buck’s magic had ever been. It skated across Eddie’s skin in an oddly familiar move. Then the magic parted and Eddie got his first good look at Buck. The eyes were the first thing that properly registered. They were completely black, like liquid shadow. Eddie could see the feeling that Buck had described, of becoming a creature of magic rather than flesh and blood when he got too caught up in his own power.

Looking into Buck’s face, what little fear had built in Eddie’s chest melted away. Creature of magic or not, this was still Buck. He stepped forward.

“Eddie-” Buck rasped, his voice hardly sounding human. “I- Chris. I hav- have to. Find Chris. I’m sorry- I couldn’t-”

“Chris is safe.” Eddie said confidently, trying to leave no room for doubt.

“What? No- no Eddie I- lost him.”

It was then Eddie realized Buck had Chris’ glasses hanging around his neck. How many hours had he been wandering the streets in this state, unsure of what happened to Chris? Reaching out, Eddie put his hand on Buck’s neck. His skin was ice cold, pulse so sluggish under Eddie’s fingers that for a moment he thought there was no pulse at all. “You kept him safe Buck.” Eddie insisted, forcing Buck to listen. “You kept him safe long enough for me to find him. We’re a team, remember?”

“We-” Buck took a shuddering breath.

Their foreheads pressed together, so close their breath mingled. Even Buck’s breath was cold.

“Chris is safe.” Eddie promised him, tapping out the rhythm of his own heartbeat on Buck’s neck. “You trust me right?”

“Eddie-” Buck shuddered again as he buried his head into Eddie’s shoulder, cold face pressed against the skin of Eddie’s neck. Eddie held on as tightly as he could, as though he could somehow anchor Buck to him. Wishing he had the magic to really do so.

“I have a message from him. Chris said he loves you.”

The sound Buck made might have been a sob if it had more energy behind it.

“You did it Buck. Come back to me.” Eddie ran the fingers of his other hand through the short hair at the back of Buck’s neck.

“I- I can’t-”

“What do you need?”

“It’s too much.” Buck gasped. “It’s too much. I can’t hold it. I have to use it.”

“Okay.” Eddie looked around them for a solution. Mostly he just saw scared but determined faces. “Okay- there are more people out there who need help. Think you can hold out long enough for that?”

Buck looked at him with his unnerving black eyes. “Yeah- I can hold on.”

Chapter Text

Reluctantly, Eddie began to pull back from Buck. Part of him wanted to stay right where he was and keep Buck grounded. But he needed to find a way for Buck to use his magic, they couldn’t just stand there forever. As Eddie moved, Buck’s hands tightened around him like a reflex before Buck forced himself to let go. The brush of Buck’s cool hands across the bare skin of Eddie’s arms made him shiver. It was clear Buck was just as reluctant to lose the contact as Eddie was.

Hesitating, Eddie tried to think of a way to keep Buck present while Eddie had to speak to the others. It would be too easy for him to get lost in his own head again, inundated by magic as he was. The idea that occurred to him seemed crazy as it entered his head. He had no idea if it would even work. But Eddie decided to follow the instinct.

He reached up and unhooked the medallion of St Christopher that he always wore around his neck. Carefully, he secured it around Buck’s neck instead.

The look Buck gave him was something like awe. Buck was one of the few people in existence that would actually understand the depth of the gesture, how much it meant for Eddie to trust him with the necklace for a while. The same way he had trusted him with Chris.

“I’ll be right back.” Eddie pressed the medallion to Buck’s chest gently.

Buck nodded, eyes still wide.

When Eddie stepped out of the haze of Buck’s magic, it reminded him oddly of the disorienting feeling of walking out of a darkened movie theatre into sunlight. Only, it was evening, but there was still a stark difference between the absolute darkness of Buck’s magic and the softer dark just past sunset. The magic was moving slowly now, less writhing, more flowing.

“Is he alright?” Bobby asked, voice tight with worry.

Nodding, Eddie joined their circle. “As alright as he can be right now. But he’s taken on too much magic, we need to find a way for him to use it.”

Bobby seemed relieved to have something tangible and helpful to do. “Alright, how do we do that?”

“Buck’s magic is usually geared towards helping people, he was doing that even while pretty much out of it. And there are plenty of people around here who need help, so…” Eddie spread his hands. It would take a little work, but they should be able to do it.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can find.” Stepping away a little, Bobby turned to speak into his radio.

Chim was watching Buck’s magic, looking supremely uncertain. “Are you sure he’s like- alright in there?”

“It looks worse than it is.” Eddie said, though he wasn’t exactly sure that was true.

“Hmm.” Chim turned a troubled gaze back to Buck.

There was no time to deal with whatever Chim was thinking. Eddie turned to Ravi. “When Bobby finds something, I might need your help deciding the best way to use magic. Buck is lucid, but containing that much magic is very distracting.”

Ravi nodded eagerly. “Yes of course.”

After a minute, Bobby turned back to them. “There’s a basement a few streets from here that flooded in the first wave, trapping people inside. Sounds like rescue efforts have stalled while they wait for the right equipment.” Rubbing his chin in an absent, worried way, Bobby looked at Eddie and Ravi. “Is that something you think Buck will be able to help with?”

Eddie and Ravi glanced at one another, Ravi mostly looking at Eddie for guidance. Briefly, Eddie wondered when exactly he had gone from someone who knew next to nothing about magic, to the acknowledged team expert on death mages. Or- more specifically, expert on Buck. If he actually thought about it, it was probably not that long after Buck came to work with them. They had attached themselves at the hip almost immediately after getting over the initial weirdness between them.

“Yes, I think so.” Eddie said confidently. At this point he was pretty sure Buck could do just about anything they asked of him. As long as it didn’t require anything too intricate.

“Then let’s get moving.”

Eddie led Buck forward by the hand. Possibly unnecessary, but the contact soothed both of them.

-

The team already on scene was the 124. They had set up a triage area and were hustling around treating people, making use of the time they had to stand around waiting for more equipment. Chim hurried over to them to offer his services, while Bobby and Ravi headed to where the 124 captain was standing closer to the building. Eddie hung back with Buck, standing in front of him in an effort to keep him from noticing the worst of the stares he was getting. It made sense, this wasn’t something any of them would have seen before. But still, Eddie wanted to shield Buck from them if he could.

He turned his attention to the interaction with the 124 captain.

“Captain Chapman.” Bobby greeted him as they got close.

“Captain Nash.” Chapman said loudly, grinning at him in a sharp kind of way.

Eddie had never met Chapman before, but there was a distinct overgrown frat boy feeling to him.

“We-” Bobby began, only to be interrupted.

“Oh yeah, you guys got Buckley. He’s a useful one eh?”

Belatedly, Eddie remembered that the 124 had been where Buck worked before he transferred. He’d only mentioned it a few times so it took him a moment to make the connection.

Bobby blinked, seemingly taken aback. “Yes- he is. We were hoping to have him extract the-”

“Well, have at it.”

Now Bobby was really taken off guard. “Just like that?”

Chapman just shrugged. “We don’t have the equipment yet. May as well send him in.”

“You cannot be serious.” Another man interjected, his name tag introducing him as Astergarde. He was one of those people you could just kind of tell at a glance was definitely a mage. “We can’t just ‘send him in’ he’s clearly unstable- he’s dangerous.”

Chapman clapped a hand on Astergarde’s shoulder. “You wanna go in there with no equipment? Let him try if he wants to, who cares. He always managed it before.”

Frowning, Eddie realized he didn’t particularly like the attitude of either man. Suddenly the way Buck had acted when he first joined the 118 made a lot more sense. Caught between Astergarde’s suspicious disdain and Chapman’s cavalier carelessness, Eddie might have done some reckless shit like jumping off buildings too.

“I assure you we will take the necessary precautions.” Bobby said in his most reasonable voice. “You’re welcome to assist if you would like.”

Astergarde snorted derisively. “I want no part in this.” He stalked away, spine stiff.

“You have the scene Captain Nash. I’ll find something more exciting to do. People to save and all that. Wakefield can fill you in on any details you need.” With that, Chapman gestured to a firefighter that had been silently watching the whole exchange and wandered away in the wake of Astergarde.

Bobby rubbed his eyebrow as he turned back to them. “Well- at least we have the scene.” Then he sighed. “Wakefield? Would you mind- filling us in?”

The woman stepped forward and began efficiently detailing what they knew about the situation.

The basement had been converted into music practice rooms, complete with soundproofing. So when alarms started blaring, none of them heard the commotion. By the time anyone realized there were still people in the basement, the stairwell was already flooded. The pressure of the sea water had burst pipes in the building, making it worse. They thought there were probably eight people trapped down there, but the air wouldn’t last forever.

The pinched expression on Bobby’s face said he would be having words with someone about the safety protocols in the building when all this was over.

Eddie turned to look at Buck. It was hard to tell with his eyes shadowed by magic, but it didn’t seem like he was particularly tuned in to the conversation. He had one hand at his throat, rubbing his thumb over the St Christopher necklace, an action Eddie often did himself.

But the moment Eddie moved closer, Buck’s attention snapped to him immediately. It almost pinned him in place with the weight of it.

“Did you get all that?” Eddie asked.

Buck nodded.

“Buck?” Eddie prompted.

“Flooded basement, burst pipes, eight people trapped.” Buck reeled off.

“Are you sure about this? We can find another way-” Eddie said quietly enough only they could head. He didn’t want anyone thinking he doubted Buck, even for a moment. But if this wasn’t the right thing for Buck at the moment, Eddie was prepared to find a way to call the whole thing off.

“I’m sure.” Buck interrupted him. His voice was still strange and raspy, but he sounded more like himself than he had when Eddie first approached.

“Okay.” Eddie nodded, accepting the answer with confidence.

“Buck?” Ravi approached nervously. When Buck’s black eyes turned to him, Ravi flinched. But to his credit, he stood his ground. “I was thinking- it’s probably hard to concentrate with all-” He made a little hand movement as if to encompass Buck’s magic. “So- maybe you can funnel some of the magic to me, so I can concentrate on using it.”

Buck tilted his head. “You think you can use it?”

“Uh- yeah hopefully I mean- I’m a water mage, so-”

“But you’ve never experienced death magic before.”

Ravi gave a tight shrug. “No- but, surely it can’t be that different.”

Buck offered out his hand, wreathed in smoky magic. Nervous but determined, Ravi placed his hand in Buck’s.

In a moment, Ravi paled. He snatched his hand back. “What the fuck? Why does it feel like that?”

Buck gave the slightest shrug. “It’s death.”

For Eddie, Buck’s magic had never felt anything other than cool and a little odd. But he supposed, that was death magic filtered through Buck. If Ravi wanted to use it, he would have to experience it first hand.

“You should focus on your own magic.” Buck said, voice neutral.

Looking a little sheepish, Ravi backed off.

A few minutes later, the 118 entered the building. Chim and Bobby would wait on the ground floor to help anyone they extracted. Buck, Eddie and Ravi would go in alone, to keep the numbers down. Eddie was putting his life into their hands, relying on their magic.

When they approached the stairwell, Buck flicked his fingers and the water moved obediently, clearing a path for them. But it was sluggish, moving like it was more viscous than it should be. As they descended into the dark, their three headlamps were the only thing lighting the way.

The basement was flooded up to the level of the door frames, creating air pockets close to the ceiling. They moved as a unit, in an air bubble kept up by Buck. The water was so dirty they couldn’t see more than a few inches into it, so they had to move slowly.

“There’s too much magic in the water.” Buck murmured. “A tainted kind of magic.”

Ravi clicked his fingers. “You feel it too? I thought maybe it was just because I’ve never experienced a natural disaster, but it is weird right?”

“Very weird.” Buck agreed. “It’s more concentrated down here.”

“Do you think it will be a problem?” Eddie asked, wishing he could do something more useful than keep pace with Buck, arms pressed together.

“Maybe.”

They pushed onward through the corridor, finding the first open door to a practice room.

“LAFD call out!” Eddie shouted into the darkness.

There was the sound of splashing. “Hello?” A desperate voice called.

They moved further inside, finding two people standing on tables to keep their heads above the water level. The pair of them stared in disbelief at the three of them as the water receded, including them in the bubble of air.

“What is that?” One of them asked in a trembling voice, pointing at Buck.

“He’s a mage.” Eddie explained gently. “We’re here to get you out. Can you come down?” He offered his hand out to help them down.

Both of them kept shooting Buck worried glances, but accepted help from Eddie as they got down to the floor.

“Alright, let's get moving.” Eddie ordered, bundling both patients towards the exit before they could lose their nerve.

When they made it to the corridor, Buck turned to Ravi. “Can you take them up?”

Beyond eager to prove himself, Ravi nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

In terms of rescues, it was pretty tame beyond the power on display. They rescued people from different rooms and Ravi ferried them out.

But the longer they were there, the more the water seemed to press in on them. Protesting when Buck tried to move it. Ravi looked more tired with each trip up the stairs. Finally there was one person left to get, so Eddie ordered Ravi to stay up top while Buck and Eddie found them.

They stepped into the last practice room and Eddie made the usual call.

“Here! I’m here! Oh finally- you-”

The woman stilled as she caught sight of Buck. Her entire expression changed.

“Issetik.” She snarled, recoiling.

Eddie sighed. “Ma’am, we’re here to help you.”

“I don’t want help from that!” She declared, backing up. “It’ll kill me for power.”

With great effort, Eddie managed not to roll his eyes. “I can assure you he won’t harm you. All we’re trying to do is help.”

“It profits from the death of innocent people!” The woman nearly shrieked.

The water roiled around them, making an ominous groaning noise as it pressed against Buck’s magic.

“Eddie.” Buck murmured warningly. They were running out of time.

Eddie held out a hand. “Listen, we can argue the ethics of death mages later. Right now you either come with us, or you stay here.” With his free hand he gestured sharply to the dark water.

“Fine.” She muttered bitterly, accepting Eddie’s help. Even still she kept Eddie between her and Buck at all times.

The three of them hustled out, arguments momentarily forgotten. The water pressed in with real intent, the bubble of air getting smaller around them. It felt almost alive, and malevolent. The ocean was usually powerful, but in a way that didn’t take any notice of people. This was something else entirely.

Eddie threw the woman over his shoulder when she stumbled, and he and Buck thundered up the stairs.

Chapter Text

Eddie skidded to a stop in the inch deep water covering the floor of the lobby, only just managing to keep his feet. He glanced behind him just in time to see the water trying to close around Buck. At the last possible second, Buck managed to launch himself forward. He kicked up an impressive spray of water as he slid across the floor.

Then the woman over Eddie’s shoulder began squirming violently, distracting him. She shoved against his arms until he was forced to drop her. She narrowly avoided slamming into the floor only because Bobby caught her at the last second.

“Keep it away from me.” She demanded shrilly, clutching on to Bobby like a lifeline.

“It?” Bobby looked past them at the stairwell as though he expected to see something following them.

“She has a problem with Buck.” Eddie ground out, straightening up and shaking out his shoulder.

“Right.” Bobby said coolly, expression closing off to be perfectly professional. “Ma’am, you are in no danger from any of my firefighters, I can assure you.” Though Buck wasn’t currently on duty, Bobby automatically claimed him as one of their own as he would any active duty firefighter. Eddie approved of the gesture.

The woman stared at Bobby with absolute undisguised horror. “That thing is actually a firefighter?”

An odd expression flashed across Bobby’s face, there and gone too quickly for Eddie to decipher. “He is not a thing, he is a person.”

“And he is an incredible firefighter.” Eddie said heatedly, in a tone that he shouldn’t really be using on a member of the public.

“Alright.” Putting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, Bobby shook his head slightly. “Why don’t you go check on Buck.”

With a huff, Eddie turned. Buck was standing near the stairwell staring into the churning dirty water. It didn’t seem like he’d heard a word that had been said.

“Buck?” Eddie asked as he approached.

Buck half turned his head, gaze still focused on the water. “Hmm?”

Eddie took a moment to look him over. The shadows around him had receded a little. Though his eyes were still black, some of the animation had returned to his face. Eddie hadn’t realized just how dead Buck’s expression had been until it got some life back in it.

“You good?” Eddie asked, stepping closer.

Finally Buck turned to look at him properly. Reaching out, Buck brushed his fingers across Eddie’s jaw, over a cut that he hadn’t even noticed when it happened. Eddie’s breath caught in his throat as Buck’s magic sealed the cut.

“I’m good.” Buck said, less rasp to his voice now. “What’s next?”

Blinking hard, Eddie forced himself to concentrate. “When was the last time you ate?”

Buck had to think about it. “This… morning?”

It seemed insane that less than 24 hours ago Buck and Chris had been out for a nice day at the pier. Things shouldn’t be able to go so wrong so quickly.

“Then that’s next.” Eddie turned toward the exit. “Let’s see what we can find.”

They got more stares as they moved through the street. But then Eddie realized Buck seemed completely unphased. Barely even seemed to notice. So Eddie took the same approach, pretending it was just the two of them.

Eddie found them some granola bars that were being passed out and settled them on the floor behind a tent- about as out of the way as they could get just then. It wasn’t much but given Buck was pretty much running on magic, it was more about the act of getting him to sit and eat than the actual nutrional value. They sat side by side, shoulders pressed together as they ate.

“I’m sorry about that woman. She was being such an asshole.” Eddie said.

Buck shrugged. “I don’t really care right now.”

Even now, he still seemed detached. It was hard to tell whether that was a symptom of the magic overload or some kind of coping mechanism. Eddie wasn’t sure what to think about it.

“You shouldn’t care what she thinks so that’s good.” Eddie said confidently, deciding to take the advantage of the detachment for now and deal with the rest later.

Buck just hummed, folding the wrapper of his granola bar into a little triangle. “Can we find something else to do?”

“Yeah.” Eddie hauled himself to his feet and turned to offer Buck a hand up. “Let’s go see who we can help.”

-

As it turned out, it wasn’t hard finding people who needed their help. The more difficult part most of the time was convincing people to accept the help that was offered. Some people flat out refused, preferring to wait for other rescue workers. But the large majority only took a little convincing that Buck only wanted to help. They even had a few that were so grateful for the help they didn’t care at all what kind of magic Buck was using. Eddie found that encouraging, but Buck didn’t really seem to notice.

As the hours passed, their numbers dwindled. Chim and Ravi tapped out due to exhaustion, Eddie and Bobby only stuck it out due to sheer stubbornness. They were both exhausted too, but Eddie knew he was going to be staying there as long as Buck was.

As the first hints of dawn began to paint the sky orange, Buck’s eyes were finally back to their normal blue again. He was ready to go home, though he was still jittery with excess magic. He seemed more like himself, if keyed up and distracted. Eddie just wanted to get him home.

They headed back to the firehouse to shower and change. Eddie had his own clothes to change back into, but Buck’s locker was empty so he borrowed some LAFD sweats.

“Chris is going to be so desperate to see you.” Eddie said emphatically as he stretched out his sore back.

Buck hesitated, looking at Eddie with that deer in the headlights look he always used to get when he was surprised by their inclusion of him. “Yeah?”

It had been a while since Eddie had seen that look on Buck’s face. He frowned slightly. “Yeah, of course. He always wants to see you.”

“Right. Yeah.” Buck pulled at the edge of his LAFD sweatshirt. “Then um. Let’s go.”

Frown deepening, Eddie grabbed his bag and followed Buck out of the locker room. “Are you alright?”

“Totally.” Buck flashed him a smile over his shoulder. “Just- long day you know?”

That was an understatement. “Long day.” Eddie echoed.

When they got to Eddie’s truck, Buck held his hand out for the keys. For a moment Eddie debated on insisting he should drive, but he was exhausted. Buck was wired with magic, but that didn’t make him unfit to drive.

So Eddie tossed him the keys. “Chris is at Hen’s place. We’ll have to swing by there first.”

Buck nodded. “Sure.”

Buck trailed behind Eddie as they walked up to the Wilson’s house. It was still early so Eddie texted them both rather than knocking on the door. Karen opened it and smiled at them.

Eddie smiled tiredly back at her. “Sorry we took so long.”

Brushing off the apology, Karen ushered them both inside. “It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m glad we could help. Can I get you guys anything?”

“No, that's alright. I think we just want to get home. How’s Chris?” Eddie mentally noted he would have to babysit Denny soon so Hen and Karen could have a date night or something. It would be the least he could do to repay them for this.

“He wanted to stay up and wait for you guys but he fell asleep right after we gave him something to eat.”

“Good.” Eddie hated the idea of Chris waiting up for hours and worrying about them.

“He’s just in the guest room.” Karen gestured as she began leading the way.

Curled up under the plush covers of the Wilson’s guest room bed, Chris looked tiny. He was still grimy from the tsunami.

“We thought about waking him for a shower but he was so exhausted…” The look on Karen’s face was all motherly concern.

“That’s okay.” Eddie couldn’t have asked for anyone better than Hen and Karen to look after Chris while he helped Buck. It was something of a revelation to have other people he could trust with his son without feeling like it cost him something he couldn’t afford. Buck was certainly at the top of that list, but Eddie knew it was a privilege to have that list expanded.

As Eddie approached Chris, Buck hung back by the doorframe.

Kneeling beside him, Eddie gently brushed Chris’ curls back from his forehead, uncaring that they were still sweaty and dirty. “Hey mijo. Time to wake up.”

Chris roused and blinked sleepily at them. “Dad?”

“Yeah I’m here.”

Chris reached out and put his hand on Eddie’s cheek. Then his gaze flickered past him and caught on Buck. He struggled to sit up. “Buck!”

“Hey.” Buck said softly, more animated than he had been all day. Kneeling in the space beside Eddie, he caught Chris as he launched himself at Buck. Cradling Chris to his chest, Buck closed his eyes.

“I knew dad would find you.” Chris said with so much exhausted confidence it made Eddie’s chest tighten. When Chris reached for him, Eddie moved in closer, sandwiching Chris between him and Buck.

“Yeah, he did.” Buck mumbled against Chris’ forehead. “That was all thanks to you buddy.”

Chris responded by burying his head against Buck’s chest as he clung to Eddie’s arm.

“Ready to go home now?” Eddie asked.

Completely trusting, Chris slumped against Buck as he clung to Eddie’s arm. “Yeah. Home.”

Buck turned to Eddie, moving as though he was going to hand Chris over to him. But Eddie shook his head, happy to let Buck carry him for now.

“I’ll leave you guys to it.” Karen patted Eddie’s arm. “We’ll see you soon.”

Eddie led the way out to the car, opening the door so Buck could get Chris buckled into his car seat. Buck drove again. The streets were the quietest Eddie had ever seen them.

When they got home Eddie carried Chris inside. Buck mumbled something unintelligible and Eddie left him to it for a while as Eddie got Chris into the shower. Chris was barely awake as Eddie helped him scrub down. When he got water on his face, Chris startled. So Eddie was extra careful to keep Chris’ face. As Eddie was turning off the water and bundling Chris into a fluffy towel, the bathroom door opened a few inches. Buck’s hand appeared, putting pyjamas for both Eddie and Chris on the counter.

When they were both dry and dressed, Eddie carried Chris to Eddie’s room. For now he wanted Chris close, in case he woke up in the night. He tucked his son into bed and just sat there for a while, staring at him. Eddie had come so horrendously close to losing him, had been saved from that awful fate only by the fact it was Buck who was with him. Pressing a kiss to Chris’ forehead, Eddie stood.

He stepped into the corridor just as Buck appeared at the other end. Buck looked both wired and exhausted all at once. For one insane moment, Eddie considered asking Buck to join them in Eddie’s room. It would be a ridiculous squeeze, the three of them in one double bed. Neither Buck or Eddie were exactly small. The urge rose, Eddie opened his mouth.

Then Buck reached into the closet and pulled out the blankets he used when he slept over on the couch. The moment dissipated.

They lingered in the hallway though, staring at one another.

“Thanks for getting the pyjamas.” Eddie said finally.

Buck shrugged slightly. “Thanks for pulling me out.”

Eddie nodded slowly. “Do you have everything you need?”

Buck held up the blankets. “All good.”

Though he searched for something else to say, Eddie just couldn’t think of anything. “Alright. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Buck said quietly.

They stared at one another for another long moment. Then Buck turned back into the living room.

-

When Eddie woke he was disoriented. The first thing he registered was Chris curled up next to him. It had been a while since he’d shared the bed with Chris, but he could recognize the weight of him there even when half asleep.

He lay there for a while, enjoying the rare moment of peace.

Finally, he got up. He glanced over into the living room, but the blankets had been put away and the couch had been put back to rights.

“Buck?” Eddie stepped into the kitchen, but that was empty too. There was no one in the bathroom, he’d glanced in as he passed. He frowned, about to go and find his phone. But then he caught sight of something glinting in the midday sun.

There, laid neatly on the counter where Eddie was sure to find it, was the St Christopher medallion.

Buck was gone, and he’d left the necklace behind.

Chapter Text

Buck didn’t sleep that day.

He tried. He lay on the couch and stared at the places where the morning sun spilled in around the edges of the blinds. It was almost twenty four hours since the tsunami hit, but it felt much longer than that. It felt like he had been trudging through water for weeks, halfway out of his mind.

He was completely exhausted. Sleep should come easily.

But his magic swirled through him. Even after hours of using it, he was still full of more magic than he was used to containing on any normal day. He felt as though his natural reserves of magic had been stretched out to accommodate the flood and they weren’t returning to what they had been before.

Even here in Eddie’s house, away from the path of destruction the tsunami had left in its wake, Buck could still sense the Grey. It just hung in the back of his awareness, a constant reminder of the deaths.

It felt as though he had been there staring at nothing for hours. His phone had been lost in the tsunami, so Buck looked at the clock on the mantel for the time. He had only been there half an hour.

He sighed, watching the seconds tick forward. As the little hand made its way around the clock face, Buck tried to think about nothing, empty his mind. He’d never been very good at the whole ‘meditation’ thing Alexandra had attempted to teach him.

Buck lasted all of another hour before he couldn’t take it anymore. Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair. After he had showered at the station he hadn’t had any product to put in it so his hair was curly and a little frizzy.

He looked around the living room. At the framed photos, the corner full of Chris’ toys, the jackets hanging up near the door. All signs of a normal life, a normal loving family. Things he’d been longing for for years.

What the hell was he even doing here anyway? He’d lost Chris in the middle of a fucking tsunami. Then Buck had completely lost control of his own magic. Chris could have died, alone and terrified in the aftermath of a disaster. People could have been hurt- even killed by Buck’s recklessness.

And here Buck was, sleeping in Eddie’s living room like he belonged there. Like he deserved his place in their life.

He paced the length of the living room. Maybe Bobby had been right. He was too dangerous to work at the firehouse, too dangerous to be around people he cared about at all. After all, he couldn’t even learn a lesson he was supposed to have understood since he was ten years old. Maybe Alexandra had been right. What had he been thinking, getting so close to people? It was only ever going to end in heartbreak for everyone involved.

The last thing Buck wanted to do was to hurt either Eddie or Chris. But he already had, just by being here. They might be upset with him for leaving, but it would be so much better for them in the long run. He just had to hope they would understand that eventually.

Or maybe they would hate him forever. Maybe it would be better like that too.

Almost on autopilot, Buck folded the blankets he’d used for the couch. He had almost started thinking of them as his blankets. He’d gotten far too comfortable in LA, assumed that everything would be fine. But he had very nearly destroyed everything and it was a wake up call.

He put the blankets away as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake Eddie or Chris. They deserved to sleep all day after everything that had happened to them.

It was only when he had his hand on the front door that he remembered the necklace. The memory of the way Eddie had carefully hung it around his neck threatened to bring tears to his eyes. Eddie was so completely trusting with Buck. Far too trusting. He saw too much of Buck, the person, and not enough of Buck, the monster.

If Buck really was the person Eddie seemed to think he was, none of this would be an issue. But Buck had never once been able to live up to expectations his whole life.

Not wanting the necklace to get lost, Buck put it on the counter near the coffee machine. Eddie was sure to find it there.

Buck hesitated in the dining room, remembering the very first time he had been invited to the Diaz house. The way Eddie had welcomed him in without fear, had let him tell Chris about his magic. He’d known at the time it was all too good to be true, he just wanted to live in the fairy tale of it for a little while.

Before he could second guess himself, Buck forced himself to leave.

With no phone and no car, Buck walked across the city. He knew the drive from Eddie’s place to his off by heart, but he’d never walked it before. Through the haze of his magic he could feel the ache of his muscles but it was far away. Like it was happening to someone on the other end of the street.

By some small miracle, Buck made it to his apartment in one piece, though he had no clue how long it took him. He had to use his magic to open his door, his keys had gone the same way as his phone and were probably somewhere on the sea floor.

When the door swung open, Buck stopped in his tracks. He’d forgotten he was in the middle of packing. Forgotten that even before the tsunami, Buck had known his presence here was poisonous. He knelt in the middle of the floor, slowly putting the few things he’d missed into bags.

But what the hell was he even going to do with it? His jeep was gone. Maybe he could- rent a car or something.

Leaving always hurt, but it had never torn him apart like this. Never scrambled his brain and seared through his chest. He wanted to blame it on the magic, but he didn’t have the energy to lie to himself like that.

“I can’t leave you alone for five minutes.” Alexandra said wryly.

Buck blinked up at her, surprised by her sudden appearance. “Mhmm.” He hadn’t even realized he’d left his front door hanging open. She was leaning against the door frame, posture showing sharp humor and mild annoyance.

“Evan?” Alexandra moved further inside.

“You were right.” Buck said hollowly, gaze unfocused.

Alexandra knelt in front of him and Buck felt all of ten years old again. Wishing that she could come in and fix everything for him. But he was an adult now. He knew better. Still, the phantom itch of blood drying on his hands made him rub them together harshly.

“Right about what?” She asked

“I never should have come here.”

Alexandra’s mouth twisted with sorrow for him. She brushed his curls back from his forehead like she used to when he was upset as a child. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be right.”

Buck sighed shakily. “I should have known. Why can’t I ever learn my fucking lesson?”

But Alexandra had no answer for him, she just stayed kneeling with him on the floor.

Buck ground the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I have to leave.”

Even after eveything she’d said to him just a few weeks ago, Alexandra hesitated. “Is that what you want?”

“No.” Buck admitted thickly, throat tightened by the tears building in his eyes. “But I- I can’t stay.”

“Okay.” Alexandra looked around at his packed belongings. “Okay, let’s get out of here.”

They moved to continue sorting his apartment.

-

“Buck?”

Turning, Buck caught sight of Eddie in his doorway. Buck really needed to just close his front door.

“Eddie- Where’s Chris?” He asked, for a moment terrified that Chris was with him.

“With Shannon.” Eddie said shortly, looking around the apartment.

Shannon. Yet another reason there was no room for Buck here. He should be getting the hell out of their way. Should squash the stupid crush he’d had on Eddie since they met. “Oh. Right.”

Eddie stared at him, horror dawning over his face as he registered just how empty Buck’s apartment was. “Are you leaving?”

Buck faltered. “I-”

“Were you even going to say goodbye?”

“Eddie-” But what could he possibly say?

“I can’t fucking believe this.” Eddie turned and stalked away.

“Eddie!” Buck chased after him automatically, unable to watch him leave like this. Even if it was unfair, he hadn’t even let Eddie know he was leaving.

Eddie thundered down the stairs, but he stopped on the landing, pulling Buck up short. “Seriously, after everything- after everything? You do this?”

“You don’t understand, I can’t-” Buck’s voice choked in his throat.

“Damn right I don’t understand!” Eddie shouted. He turned and continued down the stairs, Buck trailing miserably after him. “I thought-” When Eddie turned around to Buck again, he looked utterly lost.

“I can’t stay here Eddie- I never should have come here in the first place-”

Eddie shook his head. “Buck-”

“It’s better this way- better for you-” Buck’s hand reached out to him, pleading and pathetic.

“Me? You think this is about me? This has nothing to do with me, you’re running because you’re fucking scared!”

Buck could only stare at him.

“I can’t do this.” Eddie turned and stomped down the stairs.

“Please-” Buck had no clue what he was even asking for.

“Come find me when you decide to fight for the people that actually give a shit about you.”

Before Buck could even come up with a response to that, Eddie had slammed the door to the apartment building. Leaving Buck alone on the stairs in the echoing silence.

-

An hour later, Buck sat on the floor of his apartment. He hadn’t unpacked anything but he couldn’t bring himself to keep packing either. He was caught in an awful limbo where it seemed like he had no good options and no way out. No matter how hard he tried, he always hurt people.

Alexandra had given him space to process but it seemed like his time was up.

“I hate to bring this up now, given…” She made a little gesture to encompass the chaos of the apartment and Buck’s emotional state. “But the Mortis want to talk to you.”

Buck rubbed his eyes. “Of course they do. Do I have to go to DC?”

“No, they sent a representative.” Alexandra suddenly had an odd, careful tone.

Squinting at her suspiciously, Buck asked, “Who?”

“Samson Callow.”

Buck grimaced. “Oh great. Because my day was already going so well.”

“It’s not ideal.” Alexandra admitted. “He is difficult. But he is also reasonable. They want to hear your version of events before they make any decisions.”

“My version?” Buck asked desperately. “What, that I lost control of my magic and put potentially thousands of people in danger?”

“Then tell me.” Alexandra sat cross legged in front of him and looked at him expectantly. “Tell me what happened.”

Haltingly, Buck dragged out the events of the day. Some of it was fuzzy. There was a portion of time before Eddie found him where he only remembered frightened faces while he’d tried to help. It took him longer than it should have to piece together, but Alexandra was stubbornly patient. She just sat and watched him for as long as it took.

Finally, when he was done, Alexandra’s expression turned to one of empathy. “Buck, no one was hurt. You freaked some people out perhaps, but even while completely overloaded with magic, you didn’t hurt anyone.”

Buck sighed. “You think anyone will believe that? All they will see is a lot of deaths and a powerful death mage.”

Standing and putting her hands on her hips, Alexandra bit the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know. But the thing that matters right now is that the Mortis believes it. We have to convince them.”

“Hmm.”

“Honestly, the fact you kept it together as well as you did under those conditions is incredible. You should be proud.”

Buck wasn’t sure proud was the right word for it, but he was endlessly grateful no one had been hurt.

“Alright.” Forcing himself to his feet, Buck down at himself. “I guess I’ll- get changed. And we’ll go talk to Callow.”

Chapter Text

Buck pulled at the edge of his crumpled shirt in a pathetic attempt to straighten it and tried not to panic. Sure, whatever the Mortis decided could completely upend his life, but that was nothing to worry about, right?

“Remember, once we’re in there I can’t say anything.” Alexandra reminded him.

“Yeah, I remember.” This whole thing was eerily reminiscent of what had happened after Buck had injured that boy as a child. Only then Buck had been flown out to an office building in DC.

“Here we go.” Squaring her shoulders in a way that betrayed her nerves, Alexandra opened the hotel room door.

It was one of those half bedroom, half conference rooms that always looked completely out of place. How they’d set all this up so quickly, Buck had no clue. But it didn’t seem like the time to ask.

Samson Callow was sitting on one side of the table. He wore an immaculate grey suit, white shirt crisply pressed. His short salt and pepper hair was slicked back and he watched Buck approach with a cool gaze. There was a laptop and a phone on the table in front of him, and a camera set up over his shoulder. It looked like an interrogation set up, all he needed was a bright light to shine in Buck’s eyes.

“Mr Buckley.” Callow said shortly. “Take a seat.”

Buck did as he was told, folding his hands on his lap in an attempt to keep from fidgeting. Alexandra took a seat off to the side in his peripheral vision. She wasn’t responsible for him the way she had been before he turned eighteen, but she was still his Mentor. It meant Callow couldn’t protest her presence in the room.

“Are you prepared to begin?”

Buck swallowed hard. “Yes sir.”

Callow pressed a button on the camera and turned back to Buck. “State your name for the record.”

“Evan Buckley.”

“In your own words, describe the events of the 12th.” Callow wasted no time.

It was difficult to roll out the events of such an awful day with the black lens of the camera and Callow’s intense eyes watching him. Buck found himself glad he had already gone over it with Alexandra, so all he had to do was repeat himself.

He talked through from the moment Chris had asked where the water had gone, described each person Buck had tried to save, and the feeling of the sheer power filling the air.

“Why didn’t you limit your intake?” Callow asked, eyes intense.

“I did- I mean, as much as I could. But I was searching for Chris’ life signature so I couldn’t shut it off entirely.” Twisting his fingers together, Buck dug his fingertips into his hands.

“Christopher Diaz?” Callow clarified.

“Yes sir.”

Sitting back, Callow tilted his head ever so slightly. “And did you locate Christopher?”

Buck winced. “No, Eddie did. Um Eddie Diaz, Christopher’s father.”

“I see.” Callow reached for his laptop and tapped something out. Then he turned the laptop around to show footage of a chaotic LA street. There was a roiling black mass moving steadily down the road and it took Buck a moment to realize it was him. No wonder people had been terrified of him, he looked like some kind of monstrous entity from a hell dimension.

Then Eddie appeared, stepping into Buck’s path. He looked calm and controlled as he stared down the oncoming magic.

The sheer trust on display took Buck’s breath away. Eddie really, truly hadn’t believed Buck was going to hurt him. In spite of the power turning an area the size of a truck into a mass of shadow, Eddie didn’t flinch. He just walked forward and put his life into Buck’s hands.

The way it made Buck feel was too big to deal with just then. He couldn’t- not with Callow staring him down like he was a particularly interesting bug.

“Who is this?” Callow pointed to the screen.

“Eddie Diaz, my partner.”

In response Callow just raised an eyebrow.

“My work partner.” Buck clarified when he realized how that sounded. Though, it was unclear what answer Callow was expecting from him.

“So. You were searching for your work partner’s son and failed to find him. You attempted to… help others as you overdosed on the Grey. Eventually Diaz managed to get through to you, despite the magic sickness.”

Laid out like that, it didn’t sound great. “Yes sir.”

“And you maintain that no one was harmed due to your actions.”

“No sir- not as far as I understand.” He couldn’t say for certain, given the fuzziness of his memory. But he didn’t think anyone had been hurt as a result of his magic.

“I see.” Callow said coolly, turning the laptop back around and closing it. He sat forward, leaning his forearms on the table. “Mr Buckley, do you understand the need for secrecy among death mages?”

“Yes sir, I do.” Buck said weakly. As much as he never managed to keep his magic secret for long, he was painfully aware of the need for it.

“A lot of care and consideration goes into the way we present ourselves to the world. This singular incident has the potential to set international relations back years.” The cold stare never wavered.

Buck’s mouth turned down at the corners. It was bad enough when his slip ups fucked up things for him, but when they affected others? “I- I’m sorry sir.”

“Hmm. This incident will be reviewed by myself and my colleagues. We will decide how-” Callow was cut off by his phone ringing. He glanced at the screen and frowned. “Excuse me.” Taking the phone, he stepped out of the room.

Buck looked over at Alexandra, opening his mouth to speak. But Alexandra cut a significant glance over at the camera that was still running. So Buck shut his mouth and they waited in silence.

When Callow reappeared he had a deep frown on his face.

Alexandra raised an eyebrow. “Is everything alright?”

“There’s a foundling in LA.”

For a moment Buck and Alexandra just stared at him, completely taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

“A foundling?” Alexandra asked.

Death mage babies were abandoned all too often. Most of the time people just didn’t know what to do with them. Didn’t realize they had access to the resources death mages provided for their own. Sometimes they just hated death mages and left them, either to be someone else’s problem or to succumb to the elements.

“Apparently the child has been almost entirely stripped of magic. This takes priority.” Callow turned the camera off.

“Stripped of magic?” Buck echoed with horror.

“Where?” Alexandra asked.

“St Mary’s hospital.” Callow paused on his way to the door. “Well? Are you coming?”

Buck and Alexandra scrambled to follow him.

-

The child had been abandoned in the parking lot of the hospital, in only a dirty onesie. She had been treated as any abandoned child would be, taken inside for treatment. They had estimated she was no more than a few months old. Then the triage nurse had taken one look at her and realized what she was. To keep her away from other patients they had taken her to a basement room in the very corner of the hospital. A nurse explained this to them as she led them through the basement.

The baby was no threat to anyone, there was no reason to isolate her like this. The only way she could have taken death magic from someone without consent was if they put her in direct contact with someone very close to death. But Buck didn’t bother pointing that out.

The room they arrived at was clearly not designed for patients. It was a storage room that they had piled some blankets in the corner to put the baby on. Someone had changed her into a clean onesie at least.

The nurse didn’t even seem to want to cross the threshold of the room. Callow hadn’t so much as glanced in the direction of the baby. Alexandra stared at the baby like she was liable to explode if she looked away.

So Buck took matters into his own hands. He crossed the room and knelt next to the blankets. The baby was so pale she was almost gray and moving sluggishly. Her tiny chest hitched with soundless sobs, clearly upset but without enough energy to cry.

Buck’s heart broke for her, he couldn’t bear to just watch. Shucking off his jacket, he laid it on the floor beside him. He was pretty sure he’d read something about skin to skin contact being beneficial for babies. Then Buck reached out and scooped her into his arms. When he cradled her against his chest, his magic cradled her alongside his arms without him ever making the decision. Her eyes went black in response as she settled, nuzzling in closer to Buck’s t-shirt.

“Hi sweetheart.” Buck murmured reverently.

In the course of his life, Buck had met a few other death mages. But never a baby. Ordinarily there wouldn’t be any visual difference but this deep in magic deprivation it was obvious what she was. How could this have happened? She was so sweet and tiny and fit so perfectly in his arms. Was this some awful accident, or had someone done this to her deliberately?

Buck decided he didn’t want to think too hard about it. In that moment she was safe in his arms and feeding off his magic, that was enough for now. He had to be very careful though, only allowing her to take a tiny trickle of magic. Too much all at once would shock her system.

“Do we know her name?” He asked.

All three of them looked at him as though he’d asked the best way to walk to the moon. Eventually the nurse said, “We don’t know. She was just left in the onesie, no name anywhere.”

Buck frowned, cradling her just a little closer.

The nurse had to get back to work, so the three death mages were left to deal with the situation.

“This is exactly what I needed right now.” Callow sighed, rubbing his temples. “Right, Buckley. You are the local death mage. Will you look after her on an emergency basis?”

Buck stared at him, rocking gently to keep the baby settled. “Even with- with the investigation?”

Callow flicked a hand dismissively. “Right now she’s going to need almost constant contact with a death mage to counteract the deprivation. I have to go back to DC and Crest-holme-” He looked at her.

Almost terrified, Alexandra shook her head quickly. “No that’s- I’m not-”

So Callow turned back to Buck. “Pending the investigation you will be able to decide whether you want to mentor her. If no family can be found, she would become your ward.”

That was what had happened with Alexandra and Buck, when Buck’s parents had decided they no longer wanted him. Was this how Alexandra had felt when he suddenly became her ward, or had she been expecting it? Had she seen the signs of his parents steadily pulling away from him, looking at him less like a child and more like a monster?

Buck’s mouth went dry. This was happening so fast, and he hadn’t slept in more than 36 hours. “Right.”

“Do you agree to foster her on an emergency basis?” Callow prompted.

Buck got the distinct impression this was being given to him because Callow simply didn’t want anything to do with the baby. But there was no way Buck would say no to helping a tiny defenseless baby, no matter the circumstances. “I will foster her.” Buck agreed.

Nodding as though Buck had said exactly what he expected, Callow turned to Alexandra. “Crest-holme, see what you can find out about family for the child. I have to return to DC.”

Despite looking less than pleased at being ordered around, Alexandra nodded.

“Can I give her a name?” Buck asked, shifting the baby in his arms. “Until we know whether she already has one at least.”

Already walking away, Callow waved an arm. “Do as you wish, she’s your foster.”

Then he was gone.

Buck and Alexandra looked at one another.

“Well. That happened.” Alexandra tugged on her braid.

“Yeah.” Buck looked down at the baby as she snuffled slightly. “I guess it did.”

“So what are you going to call her?” Though Alexandra was a little calmer, she still looked apprehensive whenever she looked at the baby. She’d never been very good with children, though she had always tried her best with Buck.

Buck hesitated. “I’ve always liked the name Charlotte.” It had been the name of a girl in his class back in Hershey. She’d never minded what he was, always been happy to sit next to him. More than anything Buck had just been thrilled to have a friend.

“Charlotte. That’s a nice name.” Awkwardly Alexandra used one finger to smooth the fine downy dark hair on Charlotte’s head.

“Yeah. I think you look like a Charlotte, right honey?” Buck cupped Charlotte’s whole head in one hand, she was just so small.

“Okay. So- you need stuff, right? Babies need stuff.”

She was so clearly out of her depth, Buck couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure babies need a lot of stuff. But don’t worry, you’re off the hook. I’ll deal with the baby stuff.”

In this specific instance, Alexandra would be more of a hindrance than a help. Her shoulders slumped with relief. “Yeah okay.”

“I will need a ride though. And a new phone.”

Alexandra smiled. “That I can do.”

As they were on their way out, they were stopped by the same nurse from earlier. She held out a bundle, including a blanket, diapers and two bottles of formula.

“Thought you might need this.”

Buck smiled at the nurse gratefully as Alexandra took the bundle. “Thank you.”

Charlotte’s system would be running slowly for now, so she didn’t need to eat as often as most babies. But she would need to eat at some point.

“I just- I didn’t know how to help her but…” She trailed off gesturing awkwardly with her hands.

“We appreciate the thought. You guys did the right thing calling us in.” Alexandra said, her tone the warm fake friendly one she used when she was trying really hard to be nice.

“Yeah. Good, okay.” The nurse nodded a few times, before disappearing off back to her job.

Alexandra and Buck exchanged an amused look, and headed out towards the parking lot. They had a lot to do.

Chapter Text

Buck stared at the aisle full of baby supplies, realizing with a heavy sense of dread that he was in over his head. He knew the absolute basics of how to care for a baby for a few hours. The right way to hold them, how to handle them on a scene, danger signs to be on the lookout for. But the actual day to day nitty gritty details of looking after a baby, he had no idea what he was doing.

Sitting in the back of Alexandra’s rental car half an hour ago, he’d managed to feed and change Charlotte without fucking anything up too badly. He was taking that as a small win.

Of course, she was being a very easy baby to look after so far. She hadn’t even cried, though the longer that went on it became more of a concern than a relief. Surely a baby that had been through whatever she had would cry? But she just kept staring up at him with those big brown eyes. He had her cradled to his shoulder for now, hoping she might doze while he shopped.

So now, as he stared at a wall of brightly packaged products, he had no idea what he was supposed to get. He had no doubt at least half of this stuff was useless garbage created to make nervous new parents think they needed it. But how the hell was he supposed to know which half?

One thing he was certain he needed was some kind of carrier for her. But there were so many different kinds and brands, it was overwhelming.

He ran his hand over Charlotte’s back, unsure whether he was soothing her or himself.

“Oh she’s so cute!” A high voice cooed, making Buck jump.

When he turned, Buck saw an older woman with dyed blonde hair watching them both. She smiled widely at Charlotte, who had her face mushed into Buck’s collar. Something about the woman made Buck nervous.

“Uhm. Thank you.” he said stiffly.

“How old is she?” The woman hadn’t even glanced at Buck, her eyes glued to Charlotte’s back.

“Two months.” Buck said, because it was the best guess they’d had at the hospital.

“Oh, what an absolute cutie. Can I?” She stepped forward, hands lifting as if to take Charlotte from him.

Buck stepped back instinctively, turning so Charlotte was out of reach. “Uh- no?”

Affronted, the woman dropped her hands. “No need to be so rude about it, young man.” She glanced at the aisle he’d been staring at. “Did your wife give you a list?”

Buck bristled at the many assumptions she was making. “No. I’m fine, thank you.” He adjusted Charlotte in his arms and she moved so she was facing out towards the store.

The woman gasped like she’d been shot. “Demon!”

Mystified, Buck stared at her. But then he realized Charlotte’s eyes were still black. He moved to cradle her instead, as though he could keep her from hearing such things. “Don’t say that.” He snapped.

Already backing away, the woman was practically shaking. “Demons walk among us. You cannot fool me, I am a child of God!”

It was nothing Buck hadn’t heard before, but he couldn’t help scowling at her. He was just glad Charlotte was too young to understand anything.

Alexandra materialized at his elbow, watching the woman back away and shriek about demons. “That was quick.” She said sardonically.

Her calm derision calmed him in response somehow. There was no need to get worked up about some crazy woman- she’d been rude in the first place.

As a child, Buck had always been confused about how Alexandra dealt with the reactions she got so calmly, never appearing more than slightly disgruntled. But as Buck became an adult himself, half the time he didn’t have the energy to get upset when someone called him some stupid name or fled him in fear.

Staff began to appear too, called by her shrieks. The woman pointed at Buck and Charlotte, babbling about demon children and black eyes.

Buck just held Charlotte close and tried to look innocent. Helpfully, Charlotte closed her eyes. When a manager came over to see if he could get any more sense out of them, Alexandra took the lead.

“The child has a medical condition that causes the whites of her eyes to look dark.” Alexandra explained, with a perfect ‘aggrieved and saddened by this stranger’s behavior’ look. Buck had forgotten how good at that she could be when she wanted.

The manager grimaced in apology. “She will be asked to leave, I’m sorry you’ve been harassed like this. Please find a staff member if you have any more trouble at all.”

Smiling sweetly at the man, Alexandra nodded. “We will, thank you for your time.”

Seeming relieved that they had been reasonable people, the manager turned back to deal with the woman. She continued to kick up a huge fuss, insisting that they were demons.

It was almost nostalgic, seeing Alexandra take care of a situation like that. Buck might have been able to fumble his way out of it, but not nearly so neatly as that. Had Alexandra always had a knack for diffusing things, or had she been forced to learn when she became mentor to Buck? He hoped it was the former.

Alexandra and Buck exchanged a half amused look as the woman was led out of the door, still screeching like a banshee.

“Right.” Alexandra said finally, dropping the new phone she’d gone to get into the cart. “Found what you need?”

Buck sighed. “I don’t even know what I need.”

“Well. Maybe you should call in reinforcements.”

When Buck frowned at her, she held out her phone in explanation. On the screen was Athena’s contact information. How Alexandra had it, Buck had no clue. The mere concept of Athena and Alexandra in any kind of contact was a little bit terrifying. If they teamed up against something, no one else would stand a whisper of a chance.

“You think?”

Alexandra shrugged, letting him take the phone. “She’s raised two kids. She’ll know what she’s talking about.”

Buck bit the inside of his mouth. “Yeah but- you think she’ll help me though?” He remembered the most recent time he’d seen her, when he’d been storming out of her house like a moody teenager. And of the first time they’d met, when he’d been throwing his weight around like an asshole. Athena had seen him at his worst all too often.

“I think she will.” Alexandra said softly.

Buck wasn’t quite so certain of that. But if Alexandra was, then he would give it a try.

Looking uncertainly at Charlotte, Alexandra halfheartedly offered her arms out. “Did- did you want me to hold her for a minute?”

If Buck was going to be looking after Charlotte for however long, it would probably be a good idea if Alexandra could hold her. Though Alexandra looked less than thrilled about the idea, there was no doubt in Buck’s mind that she would keep Charlotte safe.

“Sure.”

Very awkwardly, Alexandra took Charlotte into her arms. Buck had to show her how to hold a baby’s head properly, but after a moment of fumbling she seemed to get the hang of it. She still looked supremely uncomfortable with the situation, and Buck hid a smile. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only one out of his depth.

Leaving Alexandra to it, Buck turned away and called Athena. The call was answered after only one ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi Athena, it's Buck.”

“Buck? Is everything alright?” There was immediate worry in Athena’s voice. “Are you alright?”

“Yes- yeah I’m fine. I just wanted your- advice I guess?”

“What kind of advice?”

“Uh-” Now that he was here he realized he had no clue where to start. “Well. I was wondering if you knew some of the stuff I should get to look after a baby? Like- a list or something? I know some of the basics but…” Buck trailed off awkwardly into the silence.

“A baby?”

“Yeah.”

The tone of Athena’s voice slid into something he’d heard her use on Harry when she was asking about why she’d gotten a call from one of his teachers. “Evan Buckley, are you about to tell me some young lady turned up on your doorstep and declared you the baby daddy?”

Buck’s brain stalled. “What? No- no!” He laughed, a breathless, panicked kind of sound. “It’s not- it’s like a- a foster situation. She’s a death mage too, so I’m-”

“Okay, alright.” Athena said, tone soothing now. “You can tell me in person. Where are you?”

Buck stumblingly gave the location of the store.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” With that, she hung up.

Pulling the phone from his ear, Buck stared at it. He had been expecting advice. Maybe, if he was lucky, a few comforting words. But it seemed he was getting her presence. Whether that was comforting or terrifying was yet to be seen.

“Well?” Alexandra prompted.

“She’s on her way.”

Giving him a ‘told you so’ look, Alexandra pointedly held Charlotte out until Buck took her back. The look of relief on her face as they went to the entrance to wait for Athena was almost comical.

-

When Athena arrived, she took one look at Buck and put her hands on her hips. “When is the last time you slept?”

Buck blinked at her. “Um. The night before last?” Was that right? It felt like a week ago.

Athena raised an eyebrow at Alexandra as if asking why she hadn’t done something about that, but Alexandra just shrugged and said, “Same.” Of course, she must have taken an overnight flight to get to LA as quickly as she did.

Shaking her head in exasperation, Athena moved on and turned her attention to the bundle in Buck’s arms. “And who is this little one?”

Buck shifted so Athena could look at her. “This is Charlotte. She was- she was abandoned in the hospital parking lot.”

Athena’s mouth pulled down in displeasure. “What a cruel thing to happen to someone so small.” She tutted and brushed a finger over one of Charlotte’s little balled up fists.

In response, Charlotte opened her eyes. Showing off the tiny pools of darkness they still were. Athena stiffened, but that was her only response.

“She was completely drained of magic.” Buck explained just above a whisper. “I’m restoring it, but it will take a while.”

Athena frowned deeply, still looking down at Charlotte. “Well she’s very lucky to have you.”

Throat thick with emotion, Buck couldn’t answer.

“Okay.” Athena stepped back and flicked her hair out of her face. Ready to take over. “What do you have so far?”

“Nothing.” Buck said a little desperately. “A blanket, two bottles and four diapers. I don’t even know exactly how old she is.”

“Everything then. Let’s get moving.”

Athena led him through the aisles, putting things he would need into the cart and pointing out the things people would say he needed but were ultimately useless. Buck nodded along obediently, trying to remember everything she told him.

They measured her for onesies by holding them up against her body, and mostly she fell into the one to two month size range. Buck had a sneaking suspicion that whatever had happened with her magic might have slowed her growth. He hoped restoring it would eventually let her catch up.

Buck was only going to get a few of the things like onesies and burp cloths, but Athena assured him he would want more than he thought reasonable now. Half of them would be in the wash at any given time. Buck accepted the wisdom gratefully. If they did manage to find her family, Buck would just give them any supplies he’d accumulated.

Eventually, they came to car seats. Buck’s heart sank.

“I suppose we’ll need one that will fit in the jeep, so-”

“It’s gone.” Buck mumbled.

“What?” Athena turned to him.

“The jeep. It was parked near the pier so-”

Understanding flashed across Athena’s face. “Ah.”

“What the fuck am I doing?” Buck whispered, staring down at Charlotte.

How the hell had he agreed to look after her so easily? What was he thinking? He didn’t even have a car. He could hardly look after himself, let alone a baby. This was going to end in disaster, she deserved so much better than he could provide her-

“Oh honey.” Athena put her hands on his cheeks, breaking him out of his spiral. “You’re having the same thought every parent has at some point. Only, most people have a bit more time to get used to the idea of being responsible for a tiny, helpless life.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s perfectly normal.” She assured him. “Not to mention, you’re already exhausted. That’s not helping.”

Buck nodded into her hands, trying hard to believe her. He was, to be fair, thoroughly exhausted before he’d even met Charlotte.

“Take a deep breath.” Athena ordered.

Doing as he was told, Buck was still aware he wasn’t really the same as any other parent. But it was comforting to know other people thought the same thing.

“What you are doing is very brave.” Athena said it so simply, so confidently it was impossible to doubt her. “But you can’t do it on your own, even if this is temporary. You’re going to have to accept help, or you’ll go crazy.”

Buck grimaced. “I already feel a little crazy.”

“Well that’s what I’m here for.”

To Buck’s mortification, his eyes filled with tears. “Okay.”

“You’ll get a new car, but that’s not a problem for today. For right now we just need a car seat.”

Focus on what was right in front of him. Buck could do that. “Okay. Car seat.”

The various labels and advertisements were still something of a blur to him, but he managed to have an opinion and they found something that would work.

Maybe it should be comforting, that death magic made babies a lot sturdier than other babies. Even if he fucked something up, Charlotte would be fine. But he didn’t want to fuck anything up. She’d evidently suffered enough in her short life so far, Buck wouldn’t forgive himself if he added to that, even a little.

When they were heading towards the checkout area, something caught Buck’s eye. Amongst a display of various animal stuffed toys was a wolf. A little like the one Buck had gotten for Chris. He hesitated a moment, but in the end he just couldn’t resist. He tossed it into the cart and pretended he didn’t see the way Athena smiled as she watched him do it.

Then they went to see just how much Buck was about to spend.

Chapter Text

Eddie was pretty sure he was going to lose his goddamn mind. If even one more thing went wrong in the next few days he was going to tear all his hair out and move to the mountains to become a hermit that yelled at clouds all day.

Chris wasn’t feeling well. He had spent a few hours with Shannon so she could reassure herself that he was doing alright. But he was still achey and exhausted from the tsunami and he’d woken up from his nap with a killer headache. It left him limp and tired and not wanting to do anything but lie in a dark room. So Eddie had taken him home where he would be most comfortable and bundled him into bed.

The behavior was so unlike Chris it made Eddie edgy. Sure, Eddie was a medic, but there were plenty of things his training simply didn’t cover. So he had called Hen to get a second opinion. She had said this was pretty much to be expected given what he’d been through, and she gave him a list of warning signs to look out for in case Chris needed to be taken back to the hospital. It was all pretty much what Eddie had already been thinking, but it was good to hear someone else say it.

Not to mention, Shannon had been understandably freaked out about the whole thing. She’d seen what was happening and spent the whole day worrying about Eddie and Chris when she couldn’t get into contact with anyone, and she’d even spared some worry for Buck. But seeing the both of them safe and well enough had settled her worry.

Then after they got home, Eddie had to field a call from his mother. She had seen the tsunami on the news as well and wanted to know whether Chris was safe. Not him, just Chris. Eddie had to sugar coat what had happened as much as he possibly could, leaving out everything about Buck other than that he had saved Chris during the first wave. His mother didn’t even know Buck was a death mage and that wasn’t about to change any time soon. His parents didn’t look on mages very favorably, let alone death mages. His mother had asked endless questions, the worst of which being ‘should I come to LA?’

The very idea of it was like a bucket of ice water over the head. The situation was already bad enough without having his mother over his shoulder to judge his every move. If she came to LA he might really end up tearing his hair out. So he vehemently declined the offer before he could even think about it. It took him the better part of half an hour to convince her not to jump on a plane. Then, with promises of updating her on how Chris was doing later that evening, he finally managed to get her to hang up the phone.

The whole day had been made that much worse by Buck’s glaring absence. Chris wanted to see Buck. Of course he did, they’d been attached to one another already, let alone after surviving a natural disaster together. So Eddie had been forced to come up with a weak excuse that didn’t involve screaming ‘Buck is leaving the goddamn city!’ like he wanted to. Saying instead that Buck needed rest too because he’d used so much magic, he had to be with Alexandra for now. Chris only accepted it because he was too tired to argue. Eddie had no clue what he was going to do when Chris kept asking and Buck was nowhere to be found.

But Eddie could barely even think about Buck without wanting to fall apart just then.

So of course, then Maddie had texted, asking about Buck. It made sense given that Buck’s phone had been lost in the tsunami. Eddie had only responded that Buck wasn’t with him and Eddie had no clue where he was. Which was true enough. If Buck wanted his sister to know he was leaving, he would have to tell her himself. Eddie refused to be the middle man in that conversation, he just didn’t have the energy.

Eddie went into Chris’ room. He was sleeping peacefully enough for now, his little face flushed where it was pressed against the pillow. Leaning against the chest of drawers, Eddie just watched him sleep. It was something he had done often when Chris was younger, when half his mind had been stuck in Afghanistan. Some days the sound of Chris’ breathing had been the only thing that could keep him grounded to the earth.

How Buck had wormed his way into every aspect of Eddie’s life in a little less than a year, he had no idea. He’d never even heard the guy’s name before he moved to LA and now the very thought of his absence created a sucking wound in his chest. It was almost terrifying, the sheer effect Buck had on him.

He was startled from his thoughts by a knock on the front door. When he went to answer it, he found Bobby standing on his doorstep.

“Buck’s not here.” Eddie said flatly before Bobby could even open his mouth.

Bobby raised an eyebrow. “I know.”

“Oh.” Eddie’s posture deflated and he leaned against the door frame. “You do?”

“He called my wife out on some mysterious errand so I assumed he wouldn’t be here.”

The breath caught in Eddie’s throat. “An errand? In LA?”

Bobby squinted at him. “I would assume so, yes. Athena generally tells me before she leaves the city so… Why wouldn’t they be in LA?”

Eddie only shook his head mutely. He tried to stamp down on whatever feeling was trying to flood his chest.

“Are you alright?” Bobby asked.

“I’m fine.” Eddie didn’t think he’d ever sounded less convincing. “You want to come in?”

“Thanks.” Walking inside the house, Bobby glanced around as though he might find answers to Eddie’s odd behavior on the walls somewhere.

Eddie got them both drinks, mostly for something to do with his hands.

“First things first.” Bobby began as they sat at the kitchen table. “Are you and Chris okay?”

“Chris isn’t feeling well, but he should be fine after a few days of proper rest.” Eddie said tiredly, rubbing his forehead. “And I’m…” He gestured helplessly with his hands, having nothing to say. Even if he wanted to tell Bobby how he was really doing, Eddie had never excelled at putting his feelings into words. Especially not difficult, complicated feelings.

“Alright. And you… didn’t think Buck was in LA?” Bobby prompted.

So Eddie relayed in the shortest terms he could what had happened. He brushed over how he’d felt when he woke up expecting Buck to be in the living room and instead found that damned necklace waiting for him on the counter. Eddie just stuck to the facts. Then he wasn’t even able to call Buck to check on him because he didn’t have a phone. So Eddie had driven to Buck’s place as soon as he feasibly could to make sure he was alright. Only to find Buck there with Alexandra, packing up his apartment. He only gave the bare bones of the argument they’d had too.

Bobby had listened to all of this quietly, frown slowly deepening in concern. “Did he say why he wanted to leave?”

“No! Not really, just some bullshit about it being better this way or something. I couldn’t- I just left. I couldn’t stand there and listen to him.”

Bobby sat back in his chair, a complicated look on his face.

“What?” Eddie asked. They’d worked together long enough that Eddie knew when Bobby was holding something back.

“That isn’t like Buck…” Bobby trailed off.

“No it’s not.” Eddie agreed vehemently. “Maybe if he’s still around you can like- talk some sense into him or something.”

Wincing, Bobby looked away. “I don’t know that I would be the best person for that.”

Eddie scoffed. “What does that mean?”

He seemed reluctant but Bobby finally said, “Did Buck tell you that his request to return to work was rejected?”

That stopped Eddie cold. “What? No- he didn’t say anything about that to me.”

Bobby nodded, mouth pinched unhappily.

“Did the board say no? Is it because of his magic? He-” If this was because of some kind of magic discrimination-

“The board didn’t say no.” Bobby said, so quietly Eddie had to strain to hear him.

“They didn’t? Then who?”

Bobby sighed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and scrubbed his hands over his face. Eddie could only wait in confused silence. Why hadn’t Buck said anything about this?

“I did.” Bobby said finally. “I refused the request.”

“What? Why?” Eddie demanded.

“He wasn’t ready.” Bobby said, a little desperately. Like he was begging Eddie to understand him. “You know what he’s like Eddie- he doesn’t have limits! I know he can take a lot of damage but he is not immortal!” Bobby stood, truly agitated now. “He could have died under that truck, because of that curse and we couldn’t have done anything but watch!”

“Shh!” Eddie hissed sharply, aware that Chris was trying to sleep just down the hall.

Bobby listened, sitting back down and dragging a hand through his hair. “I just couldn’t let him come back just to watch it happen all over again.”

“Let him?” Eddie echoed when he could finally find his voice again. “Bobby-”

Suddenly things made a little more sense. The tsunami was bad enough, but just after that kind of blow? No wonder Buck had panicked.

“I did what I thought was best.” There was something like defensiveness to Bobby’s tone now. “You know what he’s like.”

“Yeah, I do know what he’s like.” Eddie said, and he was desperate now too. “And you’ve just validated his worst fear.”

“Worst fear?”

Eddie practically growled in frustration. Was it not as obvious to him as it was to Eddie? “He has always been terrified that he can’t be trusted. That it’s inevitable that he will hurt the people around him, the people he can’t help but care about. You’ve just told him that’s true.”

“No that’s- I just told him he wasn’t ready.” Bobby protested.

“It’s Buck. You know what he’s like.” Eddie spat Bobby’s own words back at him. “You have to spell it out for him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is wanted, or he will never believe it.”

“I didn’t…” Bobby trailed off, apparently realizing that what Eddie said was true.

“He fucking idolizes you Bobby. A rejection like that would have hurt coming from the brass, but from you? That’s personal. That says you don’t want him.” Eddie said grimly.

“I just- wanted him to take more time.”

“I get it Bobby.” Eddie had held Buck’s limp body in his arms, watched his blue eyes close and wondered if it would be the last time. If there was anything Eddie could do to prevent that happening again, he would. But this- “But if you do things like this, you’re going to lose him anyway.”

“Isn’t it better- if he’s alive and miserable? At least he’s alive.” Bobby stared at Eddie.

“Bobby-” Eddie shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t tell you the right way to do it- only that this isn’t it.”

“You’re right.” Bobby stood. “I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have put this on you. I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad you told me.” Eddie said, because he would rather know what was going on with Buck. He was realizing he would always rather know what was going on with Buck.

“We’ll get him to stay. Somehow.” Bobby was confident, though Eddie wasn’t so sure.

Buck was the kind of person that had been burned over and over again. They had to hope he hadn’t been burned badly enough this time that he would run no matter what.

But what he said was, “Yeah. Somehow.”

“You sure you’re alright?” Bobby asked. “If there’s any way I can help, for you or Chris…”

“I’ll call you.” Eddie promised. Not that he probably would, not for himself, but he appreciated the genuine concern Bobby showed.

Bobby smiled at him, patted him on the arm. Then he left.

-

The next morning Chris managed to sit up for some breakfast. He went back to sleep almost immediately afterward, but he was alert and talking. It was probably a good thing this had happened after Chris’ first shift. It would make him more resistant to any bugs or infections he could have picked up in the water.

Eddie had just finished washing the dishes when he had another knock at the door.

Buck stood there on the doorstep, shoulders hunched with nerves.

“Hi.” Buck said awkwardly, flashing Eddie a smile that died instantly.

“Buck.” Eddie said, mostly in surprise.

“I’m- Eddie, I’m so sorry- I didn’t-” As Buck talked he began gesturing with his hands. It moved his jacket so it fell open.

Eddie was immediately distracted by the bundle strapped to Buck’s chest. Over the blue fabric the only thing Eddie could see was a tuft of fine hair, but that would mean- “Is that a baby?”

Glancing down at the bundle, Buck pressed one hand to it automatically. “Um. Yes.” Hanging from his shoulder Buck had a bulky bag, not one Eddie had ever seen him with before. “I couldn’t leave her with Alexandra so- I brought her with me.”

“Is it-” Eddie began.

“She’s not- mine. Not like biologically.” Buck said awkwardly.

“Okay.” Eddie wasn’t sure that was what he had been about to ask, but it was good to know.

“She’s a death mage too so, I’m her mentor.”

Eddie’s eyebrows rose. That sounded like a longer conversation than they could have on the doorstep. “Come in.” Eddie opened the door further and stepped back to let him in.

Buck seemed softly surprised by the request. His mouth dropped open. But he didn’t say anything and after a moment, he stepped inside. As he did he was careful not to brush past Eddie.

Eddie shut the door behind him, fully expecting this to be a long conversation.

Chapter Text

Eddie and Buck sat on either side of the couch, an awkward foot of space between them. Buck had taken his jacket off, showing the whole of the baby wrap he had strapped around him. He’d gone for one of the ones that was just a big piece of blue-green fabric wrapped around in a specific pattern rather than a structured one. Somehow it seemed to suit Buck.

“So. A baby.” Eddie said, because that was so much easier than diving into the other conversation that was looming over them.

“Yeah.” The baby shifted against Buck as though she could tell they were talking about her, one hand peeking above the wrap. “I named her Charlotte.”

Eddie tilted his head in surprise. “You named her?”

“She was… She was found in the hospital parking lot. Abandoned. Just in her little onesie. The staff took her in to treat her. But- when they realized she was a death mage, no one wanted to touch her. So they called us. It didn’t seem fair for her to have no name at all so- I named her Charlotte while they see if they can find any family she might have.”

“Someone just left her in the parking lot?” Eddie asked. It was the kind of thing they saw all too often through their work. Enough that Eddie was actually relieved that whoever had done it had bothered to take her to a hospital and not just ditched her in the middle of nowhere.

Buck shrugged, absently flattening the little tuft of hair on Charlotte’s head. “It happens more often with us. A lot of people just have no idea what to do with a death mage child. Especially when they pop up in otherwise non magical families.”

Whenever they did hear about abandoned children, Eddie always tried to be reasonable about it. Some people were in such awful circumstances that, for whatever reason, abandoning their child was the only option open to them. Even if it seemed awful to other people, it was their job as firefighters to remain neutral and treat everyone to the best of their ability.

But to abandon a child purely because of their magic? Eddie couldn’t say exactly what he would have done if Chris had turned out to be a death mage, but he knew for sure he wouldn’t have abandoned him. “So they just dump them?”

Buck shrugged again, not looking up. “Not always. Sometimes they just give the kids up.”

Like what had happened to Buck when he was ten. Eddie wondered if that was almost worse- that he’d been old enough to understand what was happening. To know that he wasn’t wanted.

“And now you’re looking after her?”

“For now. She was found in LA so the mentorship is offered first to the nearest registered death mage. It was up to me to accept or decline it. I couldn’t say no- especially given she was so drained of magic.” Finally Buck looked up and met Eddie’s eyes. He looked exhausted.

“Drained? Like you were after the curse?” It had been awful enough that someone would do that to Buck, but to a baby?

“Pretty much.”

“That doesn’t happen often, does it?”

Buck shook his head. “I’ve never heard of a child being drained of magic like this. It’s… possible someone tried to take it from her. So she wouldn’t be a death mage anymore.”

Eddie grimaced, vaguely sick at the idea of it. “Will she be alright?”

“Yeah I think so.” Buck rubbed his hand down Charlotte’s back, probably both to soothe himself and her. “As long as I keep contact with her for now I can drip feed her my magic until hers levels out.”

Of course Buck would have agreed to help this child without even thinking about it. Of course he would give her a part of himself. To him it wouldn’t have even been a choice. He would have done it no matter what.

“How long do you think that will take?” If Buck had to keep constant contact with her, surely that would cause problems at some point?

“I don’t know. A few days- maybe a week? It depends how long she’s been deprived of magic for.”

“Will you be able to sleep?”

Buck scratched the back of his head. “Uh- I can leave her for about an hour at a time for the moment. That should get longer as her condition improves. I managed to sleep a bit last night kind of propped up so she’d be safe but…”

“Hmm.” There had to be a better solution to that.

Then Buck’s eyes went a little unfocused, the way they usually did when he was dipping into his magic. “Oh-” Buck unlocked his phone to glance at the time.

Eddie glanced at the time too, somehow they had been talking for longer than he thought.

“She needs to eat.” Buck rummaged in the bag he’d brought with him, bringing out a prepared bottle of formula. “Can I-?” He gestured to the kitchen.

Buck hadn’t asked permission to do simple things in Eddie’s house for months. It hurt to think they’d taken steps backwards.

“Here, let me.” Eddie took the bottle. It might have been a while, but he still remembered how to heat up formula.

Buck gave him another softly surprised look, then smiled. It felt like it had been far too long since Eddie saw that smile.

Standing in the kitchen while he waited for the bottle to warm up, Eddie tried to plan what he should say. Buck had tried to apologize the moment Eddie opened the front door, but did that mean he was here to stay?

He checked the temperature of the milk on his wrist before he took it back to the living room. Pausing in the doorway, Eddie watched them. Buck had already taken Charlotte out of the baby wrap. She was a tiny thing, not quite chubby in the way babies should be. Her face screwed up as she stretched out her little limbs. She was wearing a onesie covered in dinosaurs that Buck had definitely chosen for her. And Buck was absolutely captivated by her. Smiling softly down at her, Buck offered her his finger. She grabbed it, her fist so small she couldn’t close it around the tip of his finger.

“Just be patient honey, Eddie’s going to get you your milk.” He sounded absolutely besotted.

For a moment Eddie was frozen, just watching them. If this really was going to be a temporary arrangement, the fallout on Buck’s mental state was going to be awful. Eddie hoped, if they were going to find the child’s family and deem them suitable to care for her, it would be quick. Maybe if she wasn’t with him for long it would lessen the blow just a little.

Then he shook himself and stepped forward, breaking the little moment between them.

Taking it, Buck settled Charlotte in the crook of his arm and offered her the bottle. She latched easily and drank. Buck was a complete natural, which came as no surprise to Eddie. He had always been great with the children when they were at work- not to mention the way he was with Chris.

Eddie sat back down, watching them. “So. You’re staying in LA for Charlotte then?”

Buck paused. “I- I guess. I don’t-”

“Do you still want to leave?” Eddie pressed, unable to help himself.

Buck’s mouth pulled down at the corners, a flash of misery. “I never- I never wanted to leave. I just- thought it would be for the best.”

Relief bloomed in Eddie’s chest. This, he could understand. This, he could deal with. He knew what it was to want to run, to feel like it would be better if you were just… elsewhere.

“Then stay.” Even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t that simple. But Eddie just had to say it.

“I mean- I might have to go to DC for a while depending on the Mortis investigation. But- I guess we’ll see.” Buck seemed to be glad of the distraction of Charlotte, so he didn’t have to look at Eddie.

“Investigation? Into the deaths or the tsunami?”

“Actually… into my actions during the tsunami.” Buck admitted reluctantly.

Confused, Eddie sat forward. “Your actions? What do you mean?”

Sighing, Buck shifted back into the couch. “Any time there is an incident involving a death mage, the Mortis reviews their actions. Decides whether it was justified, whether they used their abilities poorly.”

“Poorly? What does that mean?”

“If someone has been hurt, or if they put themselves too much in the public eye for no reason.”

“Why do they care if you’re in the public eye?” Eddie asked, a little incredulous.

“We operate best under the radar. When something happens to draw attention, especially negative attention, suddenly people remember we exist. There’s more scrutiny, more distrust. It affects all of us.” Buck sounded almost like he was reeling off something that had been taught to him.

“And you think they might decide what you did during the tsunami was- what? Unnecessary?” Eddie demanded. “You saved- I don’t even know how many lives! You were looking for Chris.”

“How is Chris doing? Is he alright?” Buck asked quickly.

Eddie huffed, recognizing the deflection. But this was the one subject Eddie could never ignore. “He’s sleeping now. I was going to try and get him up to eat something soon.”

“Can I see him?” Buck asked quietly.

“Of course.” Eddie said, getting to his feet. “Just- let me check if he’s awake.”

Eddie stepped into Chris’ room. Clearly Chris hadn’t been deeply asleep, he shifted as Eddie came closer.

“Hey baby.” Eddie said, sitting on the edge of Chris’ bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Mmh.” Chris frowned and stretched. When he opened his eyes he struggled to focus on Eddie’s face without his glasses. “Okay.”

Eddie brushed Chris’ curls back from his forehead and got his glasses from the bedside table for him. “Yeah? Think you can try eating something for lunch?”

“Maybe.”

“We’ve got some visitors too. Wanna come say hi?”

Putting on his glasses, Chris squinted up at him suspiciously. “Visitors? Who is it?”

“Why don’t you come see?”

“Is it cool visitors?” Chris asked even as he threw the covers back.

“Very cool.” Eddie promised. “You want me to carry you?”

“No, I want to walk.”

As Chris gathered his crutches, part of Eddie itched to just pick him up. But he was dedicated to respecting Chris’ independence, so he just let him go. He was still wearing his spider man PJs, but it seemed like a pajama kind of day.

Back in the living room, Charlotte was still working away at her bottle. It was almost empty.

“Chris is on his way.” Eddie said.

Buck glanced down the hallway. “Do you think- could you hold her for a moment?”

“Sure.” Eddie said easily, pleased to be trusted with her despite not being a death mage.

Charlotte protested slightly as the empty bottle was taken from her. When she opened her eyes, they were two little pools of black. Like Buck’s were when he used his magic.

“That will settle soon.” Buck said as he caught Eddie looking. “Side effect of feeding her magic.” He said it almost apologetically, but Eddie couldn’t help but think it was cute. Like she was taking after her caregiver.

“It’s fine. Do you have a burp cloth or something?”

“Oh. Right.” Buck rummaged in the bag again and produced a muslin cloth. “Athena was right when she said I’d need a lot of these.”

So that explained the errand Buck had called her out on. Eddie draped the cloth over his shoulder and propped Charlotte against it so he could gently pat her back.

Chris had made it to the living room so Buck spun around to see him, face lighting up with joy.

“Hey buddy!” Buck opened his arms.

“Buck!” Chris nearly shrieked, throwing himself at Buck.

Catching him easily, Buck knelt on the floor as he swept Chris into his arms and hugged him.

“Where did you go?” Chris asked, muffled by the way he had his face shoved into Buck’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Buck said, voice thick. “I shouldn’t have left like that. I just- there was something I had to do.”

Chris said nothing more but his hand curled into a fist, clinging to the material of Buck’s shirt. Eddie just swayed slightly as he patted Charlotte’s back, letting them have their moment.

“How are you feeling?” Buck asked finally as he pulled back to get a look at Chris.

“A bit better than yesterday.”

“Well that’s good.” Buck cupped Chris’ cheek in one hand. “I was worried.”

“Dad said…” Chris trailed off as he looked over Buck’s shoulder and caught sight of Eddie. “Dad? Is that a baby?”

Eddie laughed, it was pretty much as confused as Eddie had felt when he opened the door. “Yeah it is.” He sat on the coffee table so he was at Chris’ level.

“Oh, yeah Chris. I want you to meet Charlotte.” Buck turned them both, putting a hand on Chris’ shoulder.

“Charlotte?” Chris asked dubiously, eyeing her like she was a rabid dog.

Moving Charlotte from his shoulder, Eddie tilted forward so Chris could get a better look at her.

“I’m just looking after her for a little bit because she doesn’t have anyone else.” Buck said gently.

Chris frowned. “Is that why you had to go?”

Buck shook his head. “No. But I was asked to help her while I was doing something else.”

Just then, Charlotte opened her eyes.

Chris gasped and looked at Buck. “Oh! Like yours.”

“Yeah buddy, just like mine. She’s a death mage too.”

Putting out a hand, Chris poked her palm. Reflexively, Charlotte clung to him. This time she could actually close her fist around the finger.

“Well I guess she is kinda cute.” Chris said as though giving some great concession.

“She is, isn’t she.” There were practically stars in Buck’s eyes as he said it.

“Buck?” There was something in his voice that seemed like Chris was testing the waters. “Can you make me an omelet?”

Though Buck seemed oblivious to it, Eddie recognized the request for what it was. Chris wanted to know whether Buck would still be there and do things for Chris even with Charlotte around. Omelets were something Buck had gotten Chris into- Eddie wasn’t a fan of that much egg in one meal so he’d never thought to make them for Chris.

“I can keep hold of Charlotte for a bit.” Eddie offered quickly.

Buck glanced at them, eyes lingering on Charlotte for a moment as he assessed her condition. “Sure. She’ll be alright for a little longer.” Standing, Buck made a dramatic gesture towards the kitchen. “And what would the young master like in his omelet?”

Grinning, Chris seemed reassured as he headed for the kitchen. “Ham!”

Eddie watched them go, then glanced down at Charlotte. This wasn’t how he had been expecting his day to go. But as he joined them in the kitchen and listened to Buck explain in kid friendly terms that Charlotte needed his magic because she didn’t have any of her own, Eddie smiled to himself.

Chapter Text

Buck sat on the couch, vaguely watching the movie Chris had chosen. It was something they had seen over and over again, as he had spent several months obsessed with it. Now it was a comfort film for Chris, and Eddie and Buck could probably recite half the dialogue. For Buck it meant he could let his thoughts wander, as he found it hard to tune out when he was being presented with new information.

It was a little surreal to be sitting there watching a movie like they had a hundred times before. When he turned up in front of Eddie’s door without even a text as a warning, Buck wasn’t sure he would be allowed into the house. He’d been prepared to stand on the doorstep and apologize, to deal with however Eddie reacted. But Eddie had welcomed him inside and listened to what he had to say. Though, Buck hadn’t quite managed to apologize properly. He just didn’t want to break the fragile peace between them by bringing it up again.

Eddie had taken to Charlotte with surprising speed, accepting the situation as though it wasn’t mildly insane. The idea that Buck could be capable of looking after a baby should be nonsensical, but Eddie hadn’t seemed phased. Of course, there had been no doubt in Buck’s mind that Eddie would be kind about the whole thing. He would be kind to any child no matter what, it was just who Eddie was down to his core. But still, there was some part of Buck that had been surprised when Eddie offered to hold her so easily. He couldn’t even explain why, he just…

When Buck had impulsively agreed to look after Charlotte, he had assumed he would be doing it pretty much on his own. He had spent so much of his adult life making stupid impulsive decisions and every time he had to deal with the consequences on his own. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d sat on the hood of his jeep, his designated panic spot, and stared at Alexandra’s contact in his phone. He had always managed to force himself not to call her, to act like an adult and deal with his own problems. Alexandra did her best for him but she was always supposed to be his mentor, not his parent. She had already gone above and beyond for him so many times during his messy teenage years. Not to mention, though Buck knew Alexandra would offer what help she could, in this specific situation she wasn’t much use. He’d known even before meeting Charlotte that she was not any good with young children.

But then a single call to Athena had prompted her to come out and take time out of her evening to help him when she could have been relaxing at home. She had even agreed not to tell Bobby about Charlotte until Buck was ready.

And now Eddie had not only allowed Buck into the house but had voluntarily held Charlotte. Maybe Buck shouldn’t have been quite so surprised by it. In the time he had been working for the 118, Buck had begun to get used to the idea of friends that stuck by you no matter what, of people that weren’t blood related but felt like family anyway. Somehow adding Charlotte to the mix had reset his expectations.

Speaking of which, Charlotte was now back in her carrier, sleeping peacefully against his chest. She seemed to spend a lot of her time sleeping, maybe more than a baby her age should be. He hoped that was just because she was recovering, but it was hard to tell. The hardest thing about looking after her so far was the uncertainty. He couldn’t even turn to doctors or parenting books because there was so little precedent for a child as young as her being drained of magic. So he was relying almost entirely on instinct and what had helped him previously.

When Eddie got up to get drinks, Buck found himself trailing behind him like a lost duckling. He glanced back at Chris but he was completely engrossed in the movie and barely seemed to notice them leaving.

Buck leaned against the fridge as he watched Eddie fiddle with the coffee machine. As much as Eddie said he hated the fancy machine Buck had bought him, he seemed to use it often enough.

“Eddie- I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t.” Eddie interrupted.

Buck shrank against the fridge. That was more along the lines of what he had been expecting.

Turning to him, Eddie gave Buck his full attention. “No- no just. Don’t apologize. I think maybe we both overreacted.”

Straightening his shoulders, Buck tried to smile. “Guess we should have just- actually talked to each other.”

Eddie huffed, almost a laugh. “Yeah. That might have helped.”

“I just…” Buck grimaced, trying to think of a way to say this that wasn’t weird and needy and pathetic. As close as they might have become, Eddie didn’t owe Buck his time or energy. “I don’t want to be in the way. I know- I know you and Shannon are trying to make it work, so-”

“We’re not.” Eddie said, voice low enough that Buck almost missed it.

Buck froze. “What?”

Sighing, Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned back against the counter. “We’re not trying to make it work. We’re getting a divorce.”

Buck stared at him. He had, admittedly, thought it was odd that Shannon had moved into her own apartment rather than in with Eddie. But sometimes people just needed space to process and move forward. “Oh.” Buck said, at a loss for what else to say.

There was an odd rush of something in his chest that he tried to ignore. It was something like hope. But just because Eddie wasn’t going to be married to Shannon anymore, didn’t mean he would- Buck had no reason to think- He had to shove these thoughts aside.

“Yeah.” With his shoulders hunched, Eddie looked smaller than Buck had ever seen him.

The rush in Buck’s chest dissolved as he looked at Eddie. He didn’t look heartbroken, exactly. More just… defeated. “Is that- how do you feel about that?”

“It…” Eddie folded his arms over his chest, clearly uncomfortable. “It’s for the best. Even at the best of times we never really… worked. Not as a couple anyway.”

“Just because it’s for the best doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.” Buck said gently. From what little Eddie had said about him and Shannon, it did seem like this might be the right move for them. But losing a connection like that always hurt.

“Yeah.” Rolling his shoulders, Eddie made himself stand straighter. “Yeah it sucks.”

“And, what about Chris? Is he…?”

“We’ve talked to him about it. We haven’t lived together in years so it’s not even going to be that much of a change for him. We’re just going to keep talking to him, be honest about it…” Eddie shrugged a little helplessly. “He seems fine about it so far.”

“That’s good.” Buck nodded. “He bounces back so quickly, it’s crazy.”

“I know. I don’t ever want to- take that for granted, you know? I don’t want to just assume he will be fine, or make him feel like he has to be.”

What went unsaid was the fact that that was how Eddie felt. Like he had to be fine all the time, no matter what. One of those things that was a holdover from childhood. Something that didn’t really serve you anymore but you didn’t know how to let go of it either. Buck had plenty of those.

“You’re a good dad Eddie.” Buck said, quietly confident.

Eddie hummed, but he didn’t deny it. That felt a little like progress.

“I’m sorry if- if you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” Buck said hesitantly.

But Eddie was already shaking his head. “I didn’t talk to anyone, Buck. At first I didn’t even want to admit it to myself. But I’ve accepted that it’s happening. We’re only waiting to file the paperwork because she’s still on my insurance.”

“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, just ask.” Buck still hadn’t met Shannon, not properly. But if he’d found that if Eddie cared about something, Buck did too.

“I’m sorry too.” Eddie said, seemingly out of nowhere.

“For what?” Buck blinked at him, confused.

“For not being there for you. After the bombing.” The serious, earnest look on Eddie’s face wasn’t one Buck saw often.

“Well- that’s- that’s fine. You were busy.” Buck had, admittedly, felt a little bit untethered in the weeks after the bombing. No job, busy friends, nothing to do.

“I was.” Eddie agreed, still oddly intense. “But- it was so fucking terrifying Buck. Seeing you lying there half dead. We couldn’t even take you to the hospital, there was nothing…” Trailing off, Eddie shook his head.

It was a quirk held by a lot of first responders, a deep hatred of helplessness. Because there were protocols to follow and jobs to do and they could make a difference. But sometimes there was just nothing to be done.

Eddie continued. “And then when you finally woke up you just… it seemed like you bounced back. I guess no one wanted to question it, we were all just too relieved that you were alive.”

Buck’s mouth dropped open of its own accord, ready to speak but with nothing to say. Over the years Buck had picked himself up and dusted himself off so many times and it had never really bothered anyone else. Even Alexandra had brushed it off as normal, it was something she’d done herself a hundred times over.

“I’m fine though.” Buck said weakly. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“But I do, Buck. And I feel like it affected you more than you even realize, you just can’t admit it to yourself.” Eddie took a step closer, only an arms length away now. He put his hand on Buck’s shoulder, his thumb resting in the divot above Buck’s collarbone. “I’m sorry if you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about it.”

Buck made an inarticulate noise in the back of his throat, feeling almost gutted by his words. Maybe Eddie was right, maybe he had been more affected than he’d realized. He reached for Eddie clumsily, without any kind of plan behind the movement.

Then they were hugging. It was an awkward, sideways kind of hug to avoid squishing Charlotte between them. But Buck clung to him anyway, hiding his face in the side of Eddie’s neck for a long moment. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Eddie’s shirt, realizing just how tired he was.

When they eventually pulled back, Buck had to force himself to stand up straight, shaking his head in an attempt to wake himself up. Death mages didn’t need a lot of sleep but he was really pushing it.

Eddie, of course, caught the movement immediately. “You’re exhausted.”

Unable to deny it, Buck rubbed his eyes. “It’s okay.”

“Do you think…” Eddie trailed off, expression thoughtful as his gaze bounced between Buck and Charlotte.

“What?” Buck asked, only a little nervously.

“Do you think- if you gave me some of your magic like you did before, you would be able to leave Charlotte with me for a while?”

Buck paused. It wasn’t something he had even considered, but it might be possible. “You would do that?”

Eddie gave him a flat look that said without words, ‘what do you think?’

It was fair, nothing Eddie had done had implied that he wouldn’t do something like that. Both for Buck and for Charlotte. And yet… “I just- you don’t find it uncomfortable? Having my magic attached to you?”

Eddie looked away, suddenly refusing to meet Buck’s eyes. “No. It’s not uncomfortable.”

Buck’s brows pulled together, not exactly convinced by that reaction. He didn’t want Eddie doing some kind of martyr thing and putting up with it just because Buck was tired. “Are you sure?”

“It’s…” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. “I find it- it’s kind of comforting.”

Buck was used to his magic. It was a part of him, the same way his hands were. When it had first started getting powerful it had been terrifying, but he had learned to live with it. But he rarely thought of it as comforting. Especially not to other people.

“Oh. I find it comforting too.” He admitted before he could think better of it.

“Yeah?” Eddie looked at him and suddenly Buck was the one who couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I can kind of… feel your heartbeat. Like an echo.”

The silence between them felt tender and raw. Like something had been stripped away. Like a scab peeling to reveal fragile new skin.

“After the bombing. When you were pinned under the truck. The magic on my back disappeared. I thought you were dead.” Eddie’s voice was low and rough.

Buck reached out and took Eddie’s hand. Let his magic slide across Eddie’s skin, up his arm. Eddie shuddered involuntarily, but he held Buck’s hand tight.

It didn’t really matter where the magic went. It would make no difference to Charlotte, who only needed its presence. So Buck put it on his back again. There wasn’t even a scar where the wound had been, but Buck remembered the shape of it anyway.

Eddie’s breathing was steady and deliberate, watching Buck with dark eyes.

“Dad!” Chris called from the living room.

The moment broke, both of their heads turning in unison towards the living room. But Chris’ voice had held a request, not panic.

“I’ll be right back.” Eddie said, but it took him two more seconds to let go of Buck’s hand.

Buck stood in the kitchen and pressed his hand to his mouth, listening to Eddie’s heart beat in his chest.

Chapter Text

Buck ran a hand through his hair, trying to pull his thoughts together. Charlotte’s weight against his chest was about the only thing grounding him to reality in that moment.

He had to get control of himself. It was a stroke of luck that Eddie had been so forgiving of the stunts Buck had pulled recently. If Buck threw feelings into the mix… Gods only knew how badly that would go. He needed to be grateful for what he had, not pathetically yearn for more. Surely after so many years he should have learned what happened when he reached for too much, but that was one lesson that never seemed to sink in.

In the other room he heard Chris asking about the drinks Eddie had gone to get in the first place. Buck stood back and watched as Eddie poured Chris a glass of juice. By the time Eddie had delivered it and come back into the kitchen, Buck felt a little more steady. Like he had his feet firmly on the floor again. He could handle this.

Eddie put his hands on his hips as he looked at Buck critically, as though sizing him up. Buck fidgeted.

“Alright, now I can take Charlotte and you can get some sleep.”

“Eddie,” Buck huffed, “I don’t have to sleep right this second. I’ll be fine.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Well there’s no reason to wait. You look dead on your feet- and not in the death mage way you get sometimes.”

That made Buck laugh. “Okay okay. I get it. Nap time I guess.” He started to unwind the baby carrier from his chest. “Here, you can take this.”

Eddie eyed the strip of fabric with apprehension. “I’m not sure I need all that…”

“It’s a baby sling, Eddie, not a scorpion. If you’re gonna insist on looking after her for a while you may as well. Your arms are going to get tired otherwise.”

“My arms will be just fine.” Eddie protested, annoyed.

“Don’t you want your hands free? Unless you wanna just sit there and do nothing for a couple hours…” Buck trailed off, knowing Eddie did about as well with forced inactivity as Buck did.

“I guess…”

“I’ll tie it for you.” Buck insisted. “It’s not as complicated as it looks.”

“Okay.” Eddie relented.

That was what it was like between them. Eddie asked and Buck gave. Buck asked and Eddie gave. And sometimes even when they didn’t ask, they gave anyway.

Eddie held Charlotte to his chest as Buck wound the fabric around him. Buck explained what he was doing as he went, but Eddie just watched him with an amused, tolerant kind of smile.

“There.” Buck smoothed the fabric against Charlotte’s back, checking one last time that it was secure. “Feel okay?”

Reluctantly, Eddie moved around a little to test out the feel of it. “Feels fine.” Eddie said in a voice that Buck knew meant he didn’t want to admit that Buck had been right about the carrier.

“Great.” Buck grinned.

“Great. Now, bed time. You can take my bed.”

Buck paused. “Oh- I mean- I don’t have to take your bed.”

“I’m not using it right now, so would you just take my bed?” Eddie began herding Buck towards the bedroom like he was a sheepdog.

“Jeez, buy a guy dinner first.” Buck teased.

To Buck’s surprise, Eddie went kind of red and wouldn’t look at Buck for a moment. But before Buck could question him, he was already talking.

“Yeah yeah wise guy.” Eddie said, suddenly normal again. It made Buck question if he’d imagined the reaction.

“You’re sure you’ll be alright with Charlotte?” Buck asked as he stepped into Eddie’s bedroom.

Eddie gave him a flat, unimpressed look . “I know how to look after a baby.”

“I know that!” Buck protested, because he did. He had absolutely no doubt that Charlotte would be safe in Eddie’s hands. “I mean the magic thing. If it starts to feel weird, or if she starts to fuss too much-”

“If anything changes, I will wake you up.” Eddie promised, already closing the bedroom door.

“Okay. And everything you should need is in the baby bag-” Buck finished his sentence to a closed door.

“Go to sleep Buck!” Eddie called through it.

When Buck turned to look at Eddie’s bed, he was suddenly exhausted. Maybe Eddie had been right to insist. Buck crawled into bed on the side furthest from the door, the opposite side to the one Eddie usually used. His head hit the pillow and he was out like a light.

-

The bedroom door clicked as it opened. Buck roused slightly. There was the sound of Eddie attempting to shush Chris, but neither of them were being very quiet. When Buck cracked one eye open he saw Chris slipping into the room, followed by Eddie.

Catching sight of Buck peeking at them, Eddie smiled sheepishly and gave up the attempt. “Room for a little one?” He asked, gesturing to Chris.

Without waiting for an answer, Chris was already moving towards the other side of the bed.

Buck grinned at him, holding up the covers to make it easier for him to climb in. “Plenty of room.”

Chris yawned. “Dad said you were takin’ a nap. This way we can nap together.”

“Makes sense. More efficient.” Buck said as Chris settled against his side.

“Very efficient.” Eddie agreed as he tucked Chris in, effectively tucking Buck in too.

Buck grinned sleepily up at him, watching as Eddie automatically pressed a hand to Charlotte’s back as if to check on her. Lying there, Buck felt more settled than he had in a long time. If it weren’t for Chris’ warm sleepy weight against his side, Buck might have thought it was a dream.

“Okay. Sleep. I don’t want to hear any talking in here.” Eddie warned as he moved to the door.

Buck drifted back to sleep.

-

The next time Buck woke it was without a discernible reason. Chris still lay against his side like a hot water bottle. Though- Chris’ forehead against Buck’s shoulder felt warmer than it should be. Buck dipped into his magic. He couldn’t diagnose exactly what was wrong with a person that way, but he could tell the severity of an illness. He concentrated, and his magic seemed to say it wasn’t a severe illness. Chris might be miserable for a while longer but he would be alright. No cause for real concern.

Now that he was properly awake, Buck knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. But he was in no rush to get up. He was more than happy to serve as a pillow for Chris for a while longer.

This was the kind of thing he could get used to. A lazy day with Chris, Eddie and Charlotte just in the next room. The kind of thing he would daydream about when he was younger, before it got too painful to think about. Having a family.

Not too much later, Chris stirred against him. He looked at Buck with confusion for just a moment, before recognizing him.

“Mornin’ Buck.” Chris mumbled.

“Pretty sure it’s evening now.” Buck said mildly.

“Details.” Chris dismissively.

“Of course. Morning to you too.” Buck smiled slightly.

“Buck?” Chris asked quietly.

“Yeah kiddo?”

“Are you okay?” He looked up at Buck, his eyes wide and sincere.

Buck practically wanted to coo at him. He was so sweet, so insightful. Always worried about the people around him, the people he cared about. But Buck didn’t want to embarrass him, so he held it in. “Yeah I’m okay. It’s been a difficult few days.”

“Tsunamis are difficult.” Chris said sagely. As though they were something he dealt with on a regular basis.

Part of Buck hated the way he sounded older than his years as he said it. Children being mature was such a double edged sword. They needed to be prepared for the world as they grew up, but not at the expense of getting to just be a child.

“Yeah they are. Really difficult.” Buck agreed. “But you were so brave.”

“I was really scared.” Chris admitted in a tiny voice.

“I know.” Buck pressed a hand to the side of his head, cradling Chris against him. “I was too. It was so scary. But we made it out together. And your dad came and found us.”

“Together. You, me and dad.” Chris said, quiet confidence in his voice.

Suddenly Buck’s eyes burned with unshed tears. “Yeah. Together.”

God, he wanted this forever.

Buck took an unsteady breath, trying to pull himself together before Chris noticed he was upset. He had to change the subject, quickly. “Speaking of your dad, what do you think he’s up to? You think him and Charlotte are getting into trouble without us?”

“Probably.” Chris smiled at the idea, but it faded slightly into confusion. “Is Charlotte going to stay with you forever?”

Buck almost said ‘I hope so’ but it died in his throat. There was a part of him that knew he should want her to have a loving family she could be returned to. But there was a smaller, fiercer part of him that wanted to keep her forever.

“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I’m just going to have to wait and see.” It was all so uncertain. There was a small chance that he would even be removed as her mentor, if the investigation into his behavior during the tsunami went spectacularly badly. Maybe it was stupid to get so attached to her so quickly. But god, Buck just couldn’t help himself.

“Okay.” Chris accepted that easily enough. “Do you think she likes pancakes?”

Buck laughed as they began to get up. “Not yet buddy, she’s too little for anything but milk.”

That made Chris grimace as though it was the worst thing he’d heard. “That sounds terrible.”

“She doesn’t mind. And she can have pancakes when she’s older.” Buck assured him.

“I guess.” Chris said as he slithered out of the bed. “I’m glad I’m not a baby. Just milk is so boring. Can she at least have chocolate milk?”

Buck stretched out his shoulders, grinning. “Nope. No chocolate milk.”

“Ugh.” Chris rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “No wonder babies cry all the time.”

In the kitchen Eddie was holding Charlotte with one arm as he sipped from a mug with his other hand. Buck raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly from Eddie, to the baby wrap hanging on the back of a chair and back.

Eddie gave him a mock glare. “I took her out to change her, and I decided not to put her back in it.”

Grinning wider, Buck squinted at him in suspicion. “You couldn’t work out how to tie it, could you?”

The way Eddie rolled his eyes and looked away was more than answer enough. Eddie focused his attention on Chris instead. “Did you have a good nap?”

“Yeah it was good.” Chris said easily, making his way across the kitchen. He imperiously gestured to Eddie to bend down with Charlotte.

Throwing Buck a confused look, Eddie put his mug down and crouched in front of Chris.

Chris looked seriously at Charlotte. “I’m sorry you can’t have pancakes or chocolate milk yet. But I bet you’ll really like them when you can. If you’re still here I can show you.”

Eddie looked at Chris with wonder and fondness and confusion. Like he wasn’t sure whether to hug him for his kindness or question where on earth that had come from. “That’s nice of you Chris.” Eddie said, using his free hand to ruffle Chris’ hair.

Eddie always looked at Chris like he was his entire world. For Buck it was a privilege just to see the interaction.

“Can I watch power rangers?” Chris asked out of nowhere.

“Sure. We’ll have dinner in a while.” Eddie was much more lax about Chris’ tv time whenever he was sick.

That was all Chris needed to head off to the living room. When Chris was gone, Eddie turned to Buck. “Pancakes and chocolate milk?”

“Apparently an existence without pancakes and chocolate milk sounds like a terrible one to Chris.” Buck gave a slight shrug.

“I don’t know,” Eddie rearranged Charlotte in his arms so he could get a better look at her. “You seem to be getting on alright, huh Lottie?”

Buck paused. “Lottie?”

Eddie shrugged, looking just a little sheepish. “Figured it suits her better than Charlie.”

“Yeah.” Buck whispered. “Suits her.”

Buck stared at Eddie and for one long moment all he could think was, ‘I want to kiss him.’ Swallowing hard against the rising emotion, Buck forced himself to look away.

Luckily Eddie didn’t seem to have noticed. “Oh- is it okay if I put your new number in the 118 and co group chat? The others were asking for it.”

Buck managed to make himself nod. “Yeah that’s fine.”

As Eddie opened his phone, he frowned. “Chim is asking if we’ve seen the news.”

Buck shook his head. “I haven’t really looked at my phone today.” And before that he hadn’t even had a phone.

“He sent a link.”

Eddie shifted closer so they could both see his screen. Buck had to ignore the way their shoulders pressed together.

It was a clip from the day of the tsunami. Aerial footage of Buck consumed entirely by a mass of black magic played in the background as the news anchor spoke.

“More footage has come out of the mass of dark magic that roamed the streets in the hours following the tsunami. Whoever is behind this incident has yet to be identified but our sources tell us this is most likely the work of a death mage. The purpose of this display is unclear, but the people of LA are on edge. Where did this mage come from? Is it safe to allow this kind of power to roam our streets? So far the mage councils have refused to comment. We will be bringing you the latest updates in the coming days.”

Buck’s mouth went dry as all the good feeling of the day evaporated. God, he’d fucked up so badly. Somehow seeing it play out like that on the news made it feel worse. No wonder the Mortis were all over this. And if that was what a news outlet was saying, he had no doubt people on the internet felt very strongly about this.

When he managed to collect himself, he looked up to find Eddie already watching his face. “You okay?” He asked lowly.

“I’m…” Buck shook his head slowly. “This is rapidly approaching nightmare territory.”

He might have even had a nightmare like this, where he ended up on the news and every person he met immediately recognized his face and he had to move to the middle of the woods and never talk to anyone again.

“We’re going to sort this out.” Eddie didn’t exactly sound confident, but he did sound determined. Like he was ready to make it okay, even if it wasn’t.

“Hmm.” Buck couldn’t bring himself to answer.

“You’ll see.” Eddie insisted.

Buck only hoped Eddie was right.

Chapter Text

Eddie did laundry while Buck and Chris took their nap. Of all household chores, Eddie minded laundry the least. At times it was almost meditative, letting his mind wander. If he was actively doing something useful it was harder for his brain to wander into places he didn’t want it to go. He piled dirty clothes in, folded the warm clean ones as they came out. Lottie slept quietly against his chest the whole time.

Today Eddie found his thoughts wandering to Buck. To the fact that he loved having Buck in his house. Since they had met Eddie had always enjoyed having him over for the evening, especially when he stayed on the couch for the night. But there was something different about Buck sleeping in the bedroom.

Which was odd, given that Eddie was very picky about who he allowed into his personal spaces. Most of the stereotypes about wolves were just that, stereotypes. When it came down to it there were few qualities that all wolves shared. But one of the stereotypes that was true for Eddie was that he could be territorial. Mostly when it came to his bedroom, but it could extend to his house as well depending on the day. And yet Buck was sleeping in his bed and Eddie found himself almost… pleased about it?

After he had stopped using the wolfsbane every month, Eddie’s instincts were sharper. He had been trying to lean into them a little more. Let himself feel it and consider whether it was useful to him rather than shoving it all into a corner and forcing himself to ignore it. Sometimes it made life a little more difficult. But mostly it made him feel more like he was actually living, not just surviving day to day.

So now he was actually paying attention to the lightness in his chest. To the way that having Buck and Chris safe and asleep in his room settled something deep and instinctual in Eddie. Some kind of hole in his chest that he’d learned to live with without even noticing.

Charlotte snuffled in her sleep and Eddie stroked her soft downy hair. She too seemed to fit perfectly into the picture. No wonder Buck was so taken with her so quickly. It was selfish to hope there would be no acceptable family to return her to, but a little part of Eddie hoped anyway. He could get used to living like this, day to day.

But, as he folded the last of the towels and put them away, he reminded himself that this wasn’t his. That Buck had a place of his own and was only sleeping in Eddie’s room because he’d looked dead on his feet. Eddie had to make sure he didn’t reach too far, dream too much. He would only get hurt.

-

As they stood in the kitchen watching the video Chim had sent, Eddie found himself watching Buck’s face. He’d been there, he’d seen what it had looked like when Buck’s magic filled half the street. The woman’s words were new though, new and awful.

Buck had spent hours searching for Chris and saving every person he could as he did. Would have driven himself into the ground before he ever gave up on Chris, or for that matter, any person who needed his help. God knows when he would have eventually collapsed if Eddie hadn’t found him when he did.

And yet, as Buck’s eyes were glued to the small screen, there was no surprise in his face. After giving his all to save lives, Buck had already expected to be hated and feared for it. He called it a nightmare, a scenario he had already thought of and dreaded.

Eddie wished he knew the right thing to say. Or- more importantly, the right thing to do. The thing that would make this right. Something better than just saying ‘We’ll sort this out’.

Buck was quiet. He seemed to need some time to process, so Eddie left him to it for a little while. Eddie had a lot of things to think about too.

Not long later, there was a knock at the door. Eddie went to answer it and found Alexandra on his doorstep.

“Eddie.” Was all the acknowledgement she gave him before walking into his house like she had an open invitation.

Eddie bristled at the presumption. She might have earned the right to do things like that with Buck, but to Eddie she was essentially a stranger. Still, she seemed to do a lot to help Buck, so he bit back any comments that gathered behind his teeth.

“Alexandra.” Buck greeted her with a small smile, apparently unsurprised by her sudden appearance. “Any updates?”

Stopping dead in the kitchen, Alexandra turned back to Eddie. She narrowed her eyes as she looked him up and down like she was solving a puzzle. The full force of her attention was disconcerting. Then she raised an eyebrow and turned to Buck. “Is there a reason you’ve doused him in your magic, or is that just for fun?”

Suddenly bashful, Buck shrugged and looked away. “I gave him some magic so he can look after Charlotte. She needs constant magic exposure, you know that.”

Despite Buck’s explanation being perfectly reasonable, Alexandra looked like she didn’t believe him in the slightest. She gave a little amused twitch of her mouth and she said something in Verkatsora.

Confusingly, Buck flushed deep red and muttered something in response. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she just waltzed in without any actual invitation, now she was making Buck uncomfortable. Never had Eddie wished he knew a language more than in that moment. But he got the feeling that he was missing some context- something other than not knowing how to speak Verkatsora.

“Did you find anything in your investigation?” Eddie asked, trying to steer the conversation back on track. Though his voice was sharper than it probably should have been. He just couldn’t help himself. That was sometimes a side effect of listening to instinct more.

Alexandra said one more thing in Verkatsora that made Buck roll his eyes and grimace at her. But there was something playful in the expression that relaxed Eddie just a little. Finally, she turned to Eddie. “No updates on Charlotte. She was dropped in an area of the parking lot that’s a total blind spot.”

“That’s lucky.” Eddie said sarcastically. He’d been to that hospital enough times to know that pretty much every inch of the parking lot was covered in surveillance. God forbid someone not pay for their parking at a hospital. If someone had dropped her off without being in view of a single camera, it was unlikely they’d done that by accident.

“Very lucky.” Alexandra agreed, just as sarcastic. “Ordinarily I would leave it there. When people dump death mages on the street I’m usually just glad they didn’t kill them.”

Eddie winced, but Buck nodded in sombre agreement.

“But. Little miss over there,” Alexandra pointed at Charlotte who was back in her wrap strapped to Buck’s chest again. “Being so drained of magic complicates things. Authorities are already antsy over the weird magic shit that’s been happening so, I’m still on the case. I’ve requested footage from the neighboring buildings but getting approval is such a pain.”

Eddie crossed his arms, thoughtful. “Do you guys have any theories on how or why she was drained?”

Alexandra tipped her head in a ‘so-so’ gesture. “A few. Nothing concrete or especially useful just yet. More pressingly, though, you are the newest local celebrity.” She turned a significant look on Buck.

Buck grimaced and rubbed a hand over his stubbled chin. “Yeah. Not ideal.”

A sharp bark of a laugh burst from Alexandra. “Not ideal. I don’t have to tell you this is going to make things more difficult with the Mortis.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, having had enough of being on the fringe of the conversation. Of not quite understanding.

“The more negative press this generates, the more the Mortis will have to step in and do something. You might be looking at relocation.”

Buck’s mouth pressed into a thin line, eyes glistening. “You think?”

Looking tired, Alexandra shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. It might not come to that. But you should be prepared for the eventuality.”

“Relocation? Surely they can’t just force you to move- you haven’t even done anything wrong!” Eddie protested.

“Eddie-” Buck said softly, putting his hand on Eddie’s forearm.

“No, that’s ridiculous. No one was hurt, you didn’t break any laws. But they want to punish you?” It didn’t make any sense. Eddie wanted to scream at how stupid it all was.

Alexandra was looking at him again, this time like she could see right through him. “How would you feel about it? If you’d never even met Buck and you saw that news report on TV. Saw that display of power.”

“I would-” But Eddie faltered. Because he hadn’t exactly thought very well of mages before he’d met Buck, let alone death mages. Still, Eddie was stubborn. “If no one was hurt, I wouldn’t think he should be punished.” It wasn’t the confident retort he wanted it to be. It sounded kind of pathetic to his own ears. But Buck squeezed his arm and smiled at him anyway.

The look on Alexandra’s face said he’d made her point. “I get it. And I appreciate that you’re protective of Buck. But the Mortis is the reason we’re not running for our lives or living in cages. It might not make sense to you but we have to play by their rules.”

“Okay.” Eddie said, desperately trying to be reasonable. “Okay, so we play by their rules.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asked quietly.

“Right now this is like- court of public opinion, right? The way people react to this will inform the Mortis on their ruling.”

Alexandra nodded slowly, expression guarded as she listened.

The idea occurred to Eddie even as he spoke. “So we change public opinion. Buck- you saved a lot of people that day. We get people to give testimonials, talk about how they were saved.”

There was silence as Buck and Alexandra digested the idea.

“You think anyone would do that?” Buck asked eventually, hesitant. “I mean- that woman we saved from the basement…”

“That was one woman.” Eddie said stubbornly. “Not all of them felt that way. Most of them were just glad to be saved.”

Slowly, like she was really considering it carefully, Alexandra asked, “You think you can pull that off?”

“Yes.” Eddie said, though in truth he wasn’t sure at all. What he did know was that it was worth a shot.

Finally Alexandra shrugged. “It might help, if you can manage it. Listen, I’ll do what I can with the Mortis. But this is bigger than you at this point.” She said the last to Buck. Reaching up, she put her hand on the side of Buck’s jaw. Alexandra was such a presence in any room, Eddie had never realized she was quite a bit shorter than Buck. But it was obvious now as Buck bent his head down to press his forehead to hers for a moment.

“Thank you. You’re always cleaning up my messes.” Buck said quietly.

“Yeah well,” Alexandra patted his neck and pulled away. “Someone has to.”

Buck just smiled at her.

Then she turned to Eddie and nodded at him. They might not exactly get on, and they might not agree on their world views or the best course of action. But they did, at least, agree that they both wanted what was best for Buck.

When she was gone Eddie checked on Chris, but he was still happily watching his show. In the kitchen Buck was staring into nothing as he fiddled with the edge of the baby wrap.

As Eddie stepped into the room Buck looked up and met his eyes. “Do you really think it might work? If you can find people to talk about me?”

Eddie moved to stand in front of Buck, trying to make himself as solid and reassuring as possible. “Honestly? I don’t know. But I do know that it’s worth a try.”

Slowly, Buck nodded, clearly thinking hard.

When he said nothing else, Eddie asked something that had been bothering him since he heard it. “Buck… What did she mean? When she said about living in cages? You said something about that too.”

Buck blinked at him. “I did?”

Eddie nodded. “Ages ago. Something- something about death mages not doing well when they’re caged.”

“Oh. Right.” Buck rubbed his brow, automatically glancing towards the living room to make sure Chris hadn’t appeared to listen in on what the adults were talking about. “It’s not really my story to tell. But I can give you the basics.”

Buck leaned against the counter, gaze going far away as he remembered the story.

“Alexandra was a teenager. She doesn’t really say much about her parents, but she did say her mentor didn’t check in with her that often. She’d lived in the same town her whole life, so everyone knew she was a death mage. People generally avoided her but no one made trouble. Until… There was a family. Old money, you know, deep roots in the town. They decided they didn’t want her there any more. So they kidnapped her, right off the street. Broad daylight. No one did anything.”

Eddie bit the inside of his mouth, just listening silently.

“But death mages are- are hard to kill y’know. So they kept her locked up in the basement while they… tried. Had all these anti-magic wards around. But one day they brought her out and tried again and she just… snapped. Killed everyone in the house in a moment.” Buck sighed, one hand pressed to Lottie’s back like he was reassuring himself she was still there and safe. “If it weren’t for the Mortis stepping in and defending her… who knows what would have happened.”

In that moment, Alexandra made a lot more sense to him. The attitude she had cultivated, the one she had passed down to Buck the way most people handed down precious family heirlooms. It hadn’t just been forged in other people’s mistrust and fear of death mages. But in their cruelty.

“That’s awful.” Eddie said quietly.

Buck looked at him. “I know that Alexandra can be… difficult. But- she means well.”

“It’s okay.” Even before hearing that story Eddie never would have begrudged Buck the connection. Buck needed everyone around him he could get. “I can see how much she cares about you.”

“She never wanted to be a mother. But she was kind of forced to act like one for me. She did her best.”

An awful situation all around, one neither of them ever should have been in. “She did her best.” Eddie agreed, putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Seems to me you turned out pretty well.”

Buck smiled, his first real, face stretching smile since they’d watched that news report. “Thanks Eddie.”

Chapter Text

They didn’t talk more about it that evening. Not about the news report, or the Mortis and their investigation. By silent agreement they knew they both needed a quiet evening. It had been a while since they’d been able to do this, the three of them- four now including Charlotte. Chris was feeling well enough to play some games, so they played several increasingly competitive rounds of uno. Until Chris yelled ‘Challenge!’ at Buck so loudly it sent him into a coughing fit. When Chris recovered, Eddie called an end to the game before it could cause an injury and sent him back to bed. Of course, with plenty of promises that they could play again another day.

Charlotte still slept against Buck’s chest, so the two of them sat on the couch and put on a show. It was a ridiculous cooking show that Buck had gotten obsessed with and Eddie found entertaining enough to put up with.

For Buck, it felt like coming home. Eddie’s house was home in a way no place ever had been for him before.

-

The next day, after some debate, Buck eventually agreed that the rest of their group should be updated on his situation. Buck was reluctant, given how much trouble he had caused recently. But Eddie assured him that they would want to know. That Eddie himself would be going crazy with worry if he’d seen the news report and knew nothing else.

“It’s a lot to explain over text. Bobby is suggesting we all meet at his place this evening. We can have dinner, discuss the game plan. Does that sound like a good idea?” Eddie said a little distractedly, half his attention on his phone.

Buck paused, looking at his own phone. Sure enough, there were texts in the group chat that Bobby had sent suggesting the idea. Inviting them all to his house. Was Bobby not still annoyed about Buck yelling at him and storming out of his house like that? And then, the only time Buck had seen Bobby since that was when his magic was completely out of control. Not exactly proving himself as someone stable and worthy of forgiveness.

Buck bit the inside of his mouth. Of course, he wanted to see Bobby. And they would need to talk at some point, he couldn’t put it off forever. Still, the thought of it filled him with dread.

The thing was, he wasn’t used to the whole ‘apologizing and reconciling’ thing. Most of the time when he fucked something up as badly as this, he was out of the vicinity before nightfall. Moving on, starting again, trying to do better the next time. Apologizing to Eddie had been nerve wracking enough, but it was Eddie. Buck clicked with Eddie in a way he never had with anyone. They understood one another. But Bobby?

There was a strange, childish part of Buck that was desperate to impress Bobby. The only person who had ever willingly taken a kind of parental role in Buck’s life. The idea of disappointing him made Buck feel kind of sick. But Buck tried to remember that Bobby wasn’t his dad and had never tried to be.

“Buck?” Eddie prompted.

Oh- right. Eddie had asked him a question.

“Yes- yeah that sounds like a good idea.” Buck said, nodding.

Frowning, Eddie shifted to look at Buck more fully. “You sure?”

Buck nodded more forcefully, making his voice confident. “Yeah. It’s just a lot.”

“I know.” Eddie said kindly.

-

They sat in Eddie’s truck parked on the curb, looking at Bobby and Athena’s house. There was no room to park on the drive given that everyone else had arrived before them. Buck took a breath and glanced over at Eddie, expecting him to be getting out of the car. But Eddie was looking at him, waiting.

“Uhm-” Buck began, unsure what he was waiting for.

“Thought you might want a minute.” Eddie explained without being asked.

When Eddie had taken note of Buck’s tendency to sit in his car and collect his thoughts when he was anxious, Buck had no idea. But it made sense somehow. Buck knew the way Eddie took his coffee, the way he organized his cabinets, the way he flexed his jaw when someone pissed him off.

Buck took a deep breath, steadied simply by the way Eddie knew him so easily. “Thanks.”

He looked out the window again. He could see Maddie’s car, and Hen’s, and one he didn’t recognize.

“... Are we going inside?” Chris asked uncertainly.

Buck laughed. “Yeah kid, let’s go.”

When he got Charlotte out of her car seat he didn’t bother with a carrier for now. She was awake, watching him with her wide eyes that flashed black when he picked her up. Her eyes were mostly normal now, big pools of brown in white rather than pure black. The darkness only flared up when she’d been away from his magic for a little while. Buck smiled at her, offering her his finger to hold.

Eddie grabbed the baby bag from the back and Chris led the way up the drive. No more dawdling, they went inside.

“They’re here!” Chim called as they stepped through the door.

Bobby appeared from the kitchen, smiling up at them.

As they stepped down the stairs, the chatter of welcome suddenly got quiet. Somehow Buck had forgotten that most of the people in the house didn’t know about Charlotte.

Chim pointed at him, mouth half open. “Is that…”

“She’s not mine. Not biologically.” Buck said quickly. He wasn’t sure whether to be offended that people assumed he’d had an accidental kid. He could see on the faces of almost everyone else in the room that they had assumed the same thing. But then, given the number of one night stands he’d had when he first moved to LA, it wasn’t the craziest leap of logic.

“Oh. Okay.” Chim looked thoroughly confused.

“It’s a long story…” Buck said awkwardly, trying to think of the best way to start explaining himself. But apparently that was enough explanation for the moment.

“Well, you’re both welcome either way.” Bobby said with a warm smile. “What’s their name?”

“Her name is Charlotte.” Buck couldn’t help looking at Bobby, almost analyzing whether he was being sincere. But as far as he could tell, Bobby was telling the truth.

“And if Miss Charlotte is available for cuddles, I’m first in line.” Athena said, holding her arms out expectantly.

It was odd, Athena hadn’t shown any inclination toward holding Charlotte when she was helping him buy baby supplies. But Buck dutifully handed her over anyway.

Athena cooed over her, cuddling Charlotte securely against her chest. Charlotte stared up at Athena. It was almost like she was unsure of this new person. But she didn’t cry or fuss, so Buck left her where she was.

Chris took advantage of the momentary lull to ask where the other kids were, and Bobby directed him to Harry’s bedroom.

As everyone else became distracted either by Charlotte or talking to one another, Maddie moved over to Buck. She pressed her fingertips to his chin and moved his face so she could look at it like she was a nurse performing an examination. It was such a familiar move from her, even before she’d ever trained as a nurse. It made Buck smile.

“Are you alright?” Maddie asked.

“I’m fine.” Buck assured her.

“Are you sure? No side effects? No-”

“I’m sure.” Buck laughed slightly, taking her hand in his to stop her worrying. “Really. It was crazy but- I’m fine now.”

After a moment, Maddie nodded. It seemed more that she was choosing to believe him than that she was actually convinced. But Buck would take it.

“So. Charlotte.”

“I’ll explain to everyone at once.” Buck had already resigned himself to having to explain, but he couldn’t stomach the idea of explaining it over and over.

As he looked away from Maddie, Buck noticed that Ravi was there too. He blinked in surprise, not sure how to feel about that.

Ravi was talking to Eddie, but when he noticed Buck watching him he gave Buck an awkward smile. The miserable curling jealousy that Buck had felt the first time he saw Ravi just wasn’t there. He still wasn’t back at work yet. But he’d been invited back into Bobby’s house. Everyone was here because they were worried about him, because they wanted to know what was going on.

It made his irrational jealousy from before feel stupid and childish. Just because Ravi was a mage didn’t mean he would automatically replace Buck in everything.

They sat down in the living room, filling out the sofas and armchairs. Buck explained about Charlotte first, that was easier to get into. Only Maddie really understood the depth of the fact that Buck was now a mentor. But everyone accepted it easily enough, probably putting it down to another weird death mage thing they didn’t understand. Instead they expressed concern about Charlotte and her magic deprivation.

“So, you have to hold her almost all the time?” Hen asked.

Buck nodded. “Pretty much. But Eddie can hold her too now.”

At the confused looks Eddie explained, “Buck gave me some of his magic so I can keep Charlotte comfortable with me.”

Maddie’s head whipped around to stare at Buck. Wincing, Buck knew exactly what she was thinking. The exact same thing that Alexandra had been teasing him about.

It was an old tradition. Used by some of the more ancient factions of mages. As part of a wedding ceremony, a mage would voluntarily gift their partner a piece of their magic. Then it would be sealed to them so it could never be removed. A sign of complete and total devotion, everlasting love.

It wasn’t used much anymore. The practice had fallen out of favor as people didn’t necessarily want to be bound to one person for the rest of their lives. Not to mention that if the mage died, the bound magic had a tendency to cause problems.

Of course, Buck hadn’t sealed the magic he gave to Eddie. But the mere fact that Eddie had Buck’s magic adhered to his skin was significant. Magic that had been put there by choice, not in life saving circumstances.

Buck hadn’t really been thinking about that tradition when he gave Eddie his magic, either time it had happened. He’d kind of forgotten about it to be honest. Until Alexandra had not so subtly pointed it out. She’d been smug about it too, a change from the way she had warned him about not getting too close before. Maybe she had accepted that Buck wasn’t going anywhere, not unless he was forced.

But Buck ignored the way Maddie was looking at him.

“You can do that?” Chim asked, suddenly excited. “If you gave me some magic could I like- turn into a dog or something?”

Maddie choked, Buck laughed.

“It’s not like that.” Eddie cut in, voice almost sharp. “I can’t use the magic I’m just…” He looked at Buck, searching for the right wording.

“Holding it.” Buck said, because that was close enough.

“Okay…” Hen said slowly, looking between the two of them with an expression that felt strangely knowing. Maybe she knew about the magic tradition too somehow.

“That’s kind of you Eddie.” Bobby said, watching Eddie with a smile.

Eddie gave the uncomfortable shrug he usually gave when someone said something nice about him. “So. About the news report.”

The energy in the room shifted immediately to serious. There was no point in trying to drag it out any longer, so Buck began.

“The Mortis- the council for death mages- are investigating my actions during the tsunami.”

“Investigating?” Athena asked, keenly listening.

“Well that’s fine.” Bobby said calmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Buck winced. “That’s not exactly true. Not by our standards anyway.”

The weight of silent expectation pressed down on him.

“He drew too much attention.” Eddie said quietly before Buck could continue.

“And that’s a crime?” Ravi asked incredulously. He would be used to the way the council of elemental mages operated, which was a very different thing.

“It’s… Attention is problematic. Makes people remember that death mages exist, remember to fear us.” Buck tried to explain.

Bobby sat forward. “But you saved lives. That shouldn’t be negative attention.”

“That’s what I said.” Eddie muttered.

“It doesn’t matter. That’s not the whole problem anyway. I lost control of my magic, that’s a huge risk.” Buck sighed. “So they’re deciding what to do with me. Could be testing, relocation…” He shrugged. There were certainly more options but Buck didn’t know them.

“Relocation?” Chim asked incredulously. “They can’t just force you to move.”

“They can.” Maddie said, voice hollow. “If they decide he’s a problem, they can do whatever they want.”

“So we have to prove he isn’t a problem.” Eddie cut in, voice raised. “We find the people that he saved and get them to give testimony. Hell, we give testimony ourselves. Show people that he might be powerful but he isn’t a threat.”

There was silence as they took in that idea.

“You think that will work?” Maddie asked.

“I think it’s worth a try.”

“Okay. So how do we find the people?” Bobby was immediately mission oriented.

Buck didn’t have much to contribute as they started talking about the logistics. Looking through facebook groups, talking to other first responders working that day, maybe even talking to journalists. He was blown away by their support of him and glad that they were willing to help, but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to say much.

Eventually they broke for dinner. As people broke into groups talking, Bobby approached Buck. He looked uncharacteristically nervous. “Can we talk for a moment?”

Buck glanced over at Charlotte, who was currently in Maddie’s arms being cooed at.

“I’ve got her.” Eddie assured him, one hand brushing the middle of Buck’s back.

Charlotte had been held by one of them through the night and into the morning. As he didn’t need much sleep it meant Buck could take as much of that time as possible. She would be fine with Maddie for a while longer. But even if she wasn’t, Buck knew he could trust Eddie to look after her if she needed him. Buck had learned to trust a lot of people in LA, but none so much as Eddie.

So Buck followed Bobby out into the backyard.

It felt like something should have changed since the last time he was there. But it hadn’t. There were still the same chairs, the same plants, the same solar powered lights dotted around.

Before he could get any more anxious, Buck decided to just dive on in. “I’m sorry for storming out like that-” He tried to say.

But Bobby was already shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have held you back like that Buck. I should have- I should have just talked to you about it.”

Buck crossed his arms, digging his fingertips into the muscle there just a little. “I mean- I get it. You need to have people you can trust on your team.”

“I do trust you.” Bobby said vehemently. “I trust you. I just…” He shook his head slowly.

Buck waited, not sure what he meant.

“We thought you were dead. I- I thought you were dead, and it was my fault.”

Now Buck shook his head. “Even if I had died, it wouldn’t have been your fault.”

The look Bobby gave him suggested that wasn’t as comforting as he wanted it to be. “You spent days lying in a coma in my guest room. Then you just got up and kept moving. Ready to throw yourself into the next thing that came along. I couldn’t deal with the idea of something like that happening again. Or something worse, something you couldn’t bounce back from.”

Buck had assumed that bouncing back as quickly as possible would be a good thing, that it would reassure the people around him. But it turned out it had mostly just worried them more.

“I just… that’s kind of what I do.” Buck said helplessly.

“I know.” Bobby’s voice was gentle. “I know Buck. But I need to know that you will be careful. That you won’t just throw yourself into danger because you think you can survive anything.”

“I’ve been trying to be more careful. Being better. But- we take risks Bobby. It’s part of the job.” But he couldn’t change who he was intrinsically. If someone needed his help, he would help, even if it was dangerous.

“Calculated risks Buck. Evaluating the danger before we jump in. I don’t need you to stop taking risks, just… calculate them first?” There was a pleading note to Bobby’s voice.

“Okay. I’ll try to calculate them.” Buck agreed, hoping it was a promise he would be able to live up to.

“Thanks Buck.” Bobby patted the side of Buck’s face and pulled him into a hug.

Pressing his face against the shoulder of Bobby’s shirt, Buck breathed. And tried to believe that everything was going to work out.

Chapter Text

Despite the confident front that he had put up, Eddie had been at a bit of a loss of how to go about finding the people they needed. But as it turned out, he didn’t need to worry that much. As soon as he had explained his idea, the others jumped on it with enthusiasm.

When Buck came back from his talk with Bobby, he seemed rattled. He sat next to Eddie almost on auto pilot, their shoulders brushing.

Eddie leaned in. “You alright?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah. Fine. Bobby apologized.”

“And that’s… a bad thing?”

“No.” Buck said slowly. “No, it’s a good thing. I just- I wasn’t expecting it. He hardly even let me apologize for yelling at him.”

Eddie grinned. “So everything is fine, you’re just processing.”

“Yeah.” Slumping, Buck leaned more of his body weight against Eddie’s shoulder.

Taking the weight easily, Eddie let Buck process as he went back to the conversation happening around him.

-

The next day, Buck tried to insist that he should go back to his apartment. That it would be better if he got out of their hair. It took Eddie a while to convince Buck to stay, and even then he only managed it because he pointed out that it would be better for Lottie if he stayed. Not least because he knew that Buck wouldn’t get enough sleep if he went back to his apartment alone. Death mages didn’t need that much sleep, sure. Maybe three or four hours a night as far as Eddie could tell. But he knew that if Buck was left to his own devices with Lottie, he would be too busy worrying about her to even get that much. That gave Eddie an excuse to ask him to stay, one that didn’t require anyone to examine exactly why he wanted Buck to stay so badly. Besides, despite Chris’ initial hesitation about Lottie, he was loving having all four of them living in the same house.

As they slowly weaned Lottie off needing magic all the time, Chris had taken it upon himself to entertain her whenever he could. Buck had told him it was good for her development when people talked to her, so Chris had found a captive audience to talk about whatever might be on his mind. It was utterly adorable.

Eddie had a shift, so he left Buck with the kids. As Maddie had the day off she had insisted on going round to keep Buck company. Buck said it had been too long since they’d spent time together as siblings, so he seemed excited to see her.

On shift, every spare moment they weren’t on call or doing chores, they were searching for anyone that might give testimony. It was actually Ravi who managed to find the first one. He had suggested looking on Reddit, a site Eddie was aware of but had never actually used. So Ravi looked and found a post from a teenager who had been with his father when they were helped by Buck. Apparently they were looking for the ‘mage with dark magic’ so they could thank him for saving the kid, so they seemed like a good place to start.

Ravi was surprisingly on board with providing whatever help he could. Despite only having met Buck a handful of times, Ravi had spent hours scouring the internet and then offered to come with Eddie to meet them and film the interview.

Buck seemed grateful for their efforts. He’d already thanked Eddie more than once just for trying. But for some reason he didn’t want to get involved with the actual process of it. When Eddie handed him a tablet and showed him the Facebook groups they had been looking at, Buck had gotten almost immediately overwhelmed. He sat there kind of looking at the screen, but mostly just tapping his fingers and bouncing his knee. Eddie’s initial reaction had been irritation, that Buck didn’t seem interested in building his own case against the Mortis. After all, Buck loved learning and going on research spirals. But as he watched the way Buck’s brows pulled together and he chewed on his bottom lip, the irritation melted away. As much as Eddie was beginning to believe that the plan might just work, he could see how it would be difficult for Buck to believe that.

So it was just Ravi and Eddie who got in Eddie’s truck and went to find their witnesses. It was a Saturday, so Buck took Chris and Lottie to the zoo for the day.

They pulled up to a midsize apartment building and Ravi double checked the address. “This is the one.”

Finding parking was a bit of a nightmare as always, but in a few minutes they were being buzzed up to the apartment. A man answered the door and ushered them inside. A teen boy sat on the sofa, one leg lifted slightly on cushions. They both had various bandaged scrapes and bruises. It was an odd reminder of just how little time had passed since the tsunami. Without the accelerated healing of a death mage like Buck or a werewolf like Chris, they had to heal at the normal rate.

After introductions and pleasantries that were only slightly awkward, they got into the interview. Wyatt, the father, spoke first.

“I was screaming for help. But- part of me knew that it might not be coming. Even if someone had stopped, there would have been nothing they could do. And then your friend- Buck- he just turned up out of nowhere. It- honestly it scared the hell out of me at first. I didn’t know what was happening. It’s kind of a blur. But then he just- ripped the door off the car, peeled the metal back like opening a tin can.”

“He came just in time.” Kyle, the son, added. “The way my leg was trapped, it was cutting off the blood flow. The doctors said if I’d been there longer it could have been much worse.”

Wyatt brushed his hand over Kyle’s hair and left the hand on his neck, affectionate. “It’s just me and Kyle. He’s everything to me. Buck saved us both, really.”

It was exactly what Eddie had been hoping to hear. They asked some questions, got some more details of exactly what had happened. And then they were almost done.

“Thank you for your help Wyatt.” Eddie said emphatically.

“Wait- Buck was looking for someone. A kid I think. Did he- did he find him?” Wyatt was slightly apprehensive as though expecting that the story might not have a happy ending.

“He was looking for my son.” Eddie explained, his throat a little tight. “And yeah, we found him.”

Wyatt’s shoulder’s slumped with relief. “I’m glad.”

Kyle smiled at them too.

After that they packed up and headed out.

“Did you hear stories about death mages as a kid?” Ravi asked, seemingly out of nowhere as they made their way down the stairs.

“Sure.” Eddie shrugged. “They were told like- ghost stories. My uncle used to tell stories about them to freak out the younger kids.”

Ravi nodded slowly. “It was pretty similar for me. Most of the stories told about them are like- cautionary tales, y’know? Warning of what could go wrong if you don’t properly respect your magic. But for most mages there’s also a kind of… jealousy?”

Eddie glanced over at him. “Yeah?” That was a new concept for him.

“I mean, they’re so incredibly powerful. No one has managed to do any studies or anything but as far as people can tell, the average death mage is at least twice as powerful as some of our best elemental mages.” Ravi ran a hand over his hair compulsively. “I think it’s why a lot of mages fear them. It takes a whole group of elemental mages just to neutralize one death mage.”

“Huh.” The idea of a death mage being neutralized wasn’t something Eddie really wanted to think about.

“As a kid- I was sick. I had uh- cancer.” Before Eddie could respond to that, Ravi barrelled on. “I used to daydream about being a death mage. Being so powerful that no sickness could touch me.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.” They reached the truck and Eddie unlocked it, putting the camera inside as Ravi talked.

“Yeah- I mean- it was. But… I don’t know. I guess even as an adult I never really thought more about it, just saw death mages as these powerful, untouchable beings. When I realized there was one at the 118 I was so excited to work with him. But I never even thought about what it would be like to actually be a death mage. To live every day with that kind of power under your skin, power that makes people hate and fear and envy you.” Ravi scowled out of the window as he talked.

“It takes a different kind of toll, I guess.” Eddie said carefully. They were two different experiences that Eddie was trying to empathize with, but ultimately didn’t understand the whole truth of.

They climbed into the truck and Eddie began to drive them back.

“You know, you deserve like- a boyfriend of the year award or something.” Ravi mused as they made their way through the traffic.

Eddie only just stopped himself from slamming on the brake. “Um. What.”

“Like any good boyfriend is supportive, but you’re going above and beyond.”

Brain completely stalling, Eddie forced words from his mouth. “No- I mean- boyfriend?”

Ravi stared at him like he had just said the sky was orange. “Yeah?”

“Buck isn’t my boyfriend.” It was one thing for strangers or even acquaintances to assume they were a couple. But Eddie had worked with Ravi for a while now and he was apparently completely convinced of it.

“Oh. Do you prefer the term ‘partner’ or-?” Ravi asked slowly.

“We aren’t together. We’re friends.” And- okay. Maybe it felt a little weird to call them friends, like it wasn’t a big enough word.

“You’re… friends.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what Ravi wasn’t getting. “Yeah. He’s my best friend.”

“Right… I guess I just assumed because you… y’know… live together… and parent kids together… and you’re- like- completely covered in his magic. Like- I thought you were the mage for a moment when I first joined.”

There was a perfectly logical explanation for each point Ravi brought up, but Eddie didn’t exactly feel like explaining himself while Ravi sat there and gave him that weird skeptical look. “So?” He snapped. “It works for us.”

“Right.” Ravi held his hands up as if in surrender. “Of course. That’s your business.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m grateful for your help. I know that Buck is too. If there is anything we can help you with in the future, just say the word.” He determinedly ignored the way he referred to him and Buck as ‘we’ like a unit. If they were cats up for adoption they would have a sign saying ‘do not separate’.

“Glad to help man. I’m sure I’ll take you guys up on that offer some time.” Ravi laughed, the tension eased.

The rest of the drive, they talked about lighter topics.

-

Shannon had an appointment with her doctor to evaluate her progress so Eddie had offered to go with. She had been going to a lot of her appointments with Layla, but Eddie still wanted to be available to her if she needed his help. So with Layla busy at a meeting, Eddie drove Shannon to the hospital.

It had been a minute since they’d had time to chat, so they caught one another up on their lives as they waited for the doctor.

“Seems like you and Layla are pretty close.” Eddie teased as Shannon finished telling him about the paintings they were working on together. Maybe it should have felt awful, teasing Shannon about a possible love interest when they were still technically- legally- married. But Shannon had been his best friend long before she had ever been his wife.

“Oh yeah? If you want to talk about Layla, does that mean I get to talk about Buck living in your house, Mr ‘I’m just particular about my space’?”

Eddie stiffened, then forced himself to laugh and shake his head. “Touché.”

Shannon laughed too, eyes bright. “Seriously though, I’ve still only met him in passing. And now I want to meet Lottie too, Chris won’t shut up about how cute she is.”

“She is cute.” Eddie agreed. “Maybe… you and Layla should come over for dinner. We can all talk, show Chris that even if we’re not married, we’re still family. I bet Buck would love to cook for everyone.”

“That sounds great actually. And Layla will be ecstatic if Buck is the one cooking, she hasn’t stopped talking about the chicken satay salad he sent you with at the hospital.” Shannon flicked her fingers as she spoke.

“Great. Then we’ll find a day that works for everyone.” Eddie agreed.

Then the nurse came to get them. She led them to one of the exam rooms. “Doctor Gorman will be with you shortly.” She shut the door behind her as she left them to wait.

“Gorman. The same doctor from before?” Eddie asked, remembering the brisk but patient man that had explained the severity of Shannon’s injuries. Most of the appointments Eddie had taken her to had been physical therapy, so she had been working with different people.

“Yeah. Doctor Gorman he’s- they call him a miracle worker. He was in charge of my surgery, my recovery has been a lot shorter than it could have been, thanks to him.”

“He-”

The door opened and Doctor Gorman stepped inside. “Good afternoon Mrs Diaz. How are you doing today?”

The appointment seemed to be going well. Shannon had been diligent about doing her exercises and had made good progress. She was able to move her legs when she was sitting, and could stand unassisted for a few minutes at a time. Only, there was a small deficiency in her latest blood work, so a nurse took her to get another blood test.

That left Eddie alone in the room with Doctor Gorman. He was typing notes on his computer so Eddie moved to leave, but then he spoke.

“I saw on the news that your friend was caught up in the tsunami.”

Eddie stared at him. “What?”

“The mage that you work with. Buckley, was it?” Doctor Gorman was perfectly calm as he typed at his computer, not even looking at Eddie as he spoke.

“He was never mentioned on the news. They didn’t say his name.” Eddie said slowly.

Finally Doctor Gorman reacted, turning to Eddie and raising an eyebrow. “Magic like that- and a death mage living in LA? Not exactly hard to put the pieces together.”

Eddie felt cold as he wondered how many other people might have ‘put the pieces together’. They had to work quicker on getting their own narrative out there. “Right.”

“How is he doing? I imagine that would be stressful.”

“He’s fine.” Eddie said tightly.

“I’m glad.” Gorman gave him an intense look. “It seems he does important work.”

Whether he was being genuine was an absolute mystery to Eddie. Maybe he was just a weird guy. But Eddie didn’t like anything about this conversation. “He does. He saves a lot of lives. Good afternoon doctor.”

Eddie left the room before he could say anything else. Though he would have loved to just storm out of the hospital, he had to wait for Shannon to finish her blood test.

Chapter Text

They fell into a surprisingly comfortable routine, the four of them living in the Diaz household. Eddie went to work, Buck took Chris to school. Buck cooked, Eddie did the dishes. Eddie did the laundry, Buck did the vacuuming. They went grocery shopping together because Buck always got distracted and bought too much and Eddie always forgot something, even when he had a list. Together they could get everything they needed and only bring back one or two extras.

Each day, Eddie took charge of Charlotte for a few hours so Buck could sleep. He always took Eddie’s bed, because it wasn’t being used, and tried not to feel weird about it. Tried not to let part of himself wish that they were just sharing the bed at the same time, with Charlotte sleeping in her bassinet just at the side. She was getting better at being left alone for stretches of time, not needing quite so much magic.

Buck had to admit, it was a better living than he would have had if he had gone back to his apartment when he had tried to. He had been back to pick up some more clothes and things and the place had looked even more small and forlorn and musty than usual. Not the kind of place that would be good for a baby. So he was incredibly grateful for Eddie’s kindness. Eventually he would have to find a better place to live. But for now… he was happy to keep putting that off.

But Buck was still frustrated about not being back at work. After the conversation they’d had, Bobby had formally put in his approval for Buck to return to the station. But the investigation that the Mortis were running had pushed the process back again. Alexandra had been making Buck’s case, she said the videos Eddie had been making were helping. But it was still unclear what they intended to do.

So, Buck was taking his frustrations at being benched out on Eddie’s house. He had started by reorganizing every cupboard in Eddie’s kitchen. Then he sanded down the edge of the backdoor where it kept sticking when closed. In a fit of boredom he had even ripped out all the shitty peeling caulking in the bathroom and replaced it- after a prolonged fight with some stubborn mold.

Eddie had amusedly asked him not to make any major changes or do anything that would get him in trouble with his landlord. Though, they had spent a day putting in a ramp for the front door so Shannon could visit easier. Most of the house was pretty accessible, with Christopher in mind, but there were a few changes to make.

Recently Eddie had been talking about Shannon more. Telling stories about their relationship in high school or their early years with Chris. It seemed like he was accepting the divorce in a way he hadn’t been able to before.

The strange pseudo housewife role Buck had falled into wasn’t as good as being a firefighter. Didn’t quite satisfy that itch in him that had only settled when he was on active duty. But it wasn’t bad either. Buck had always liked being useful, and now he could do that while making Eddie and Chris’ lives a little easier. It made him feel a little better about invading their house for so long.

In an effort to keep busy - and partially because Eddie had refused to let him paint the whole living room eucalyptus green just because he’d seen a picture in a magazine and thought it looked good - he had taken up baking too. Before long he’d ended up with so many baked goods he had to send them with Chris to school, with Eddie to the station and even with Maddie to dispatch. No one complained about being handed a dozen cupcakes or a box of cookies.

Eddie’s kitchen was the nicest he’d ever cooked in, not including any of the places he’d worked. He enjoyed spending time in there so much he tried an array of new recipes, mostly with Eddie and Chris as his test subjects. So when Eddie had asked if he would mind cooking dinner for them all when Shannon and Layla came around, Buck had agreed easily.

Now, as he stood in the middle of the kitchen that he had covered in ingredients and baking dishes, Buck was beginning to regret that easy agreement.

Shannon was important to Eddie and Chris, which by degrees of separation made her important to Buck too. But there was also the thought lingering in the back of his mind that he had been more than a little relieved when Eddie had told him they were getting a divorce. It felt kind of weird to be making dinner for a woman who he had actively wished divorce on.

What if Shannon decided she didn’t like him? What if she thought he was dangerous, that he shouldn’t be spending time with her son? It would make sense. Buck still marveled at the fact that Eddie let him be around Chris, but he had come to accept that Eddie really wanted him there, would be upset if Buck was gone. But how likely was it that Shannon would feel the same way when she actually met him face to face?

So he was channeling those nerves into wanting to get the meal absolutely perfect. He had chosen a meal he was familiar with, one he knew how to cook well. Lasagne. The choice hardly made sense, he knew that if she was going to decide he was dangerous then a really good lasagne wasn’t going to change anything. But fear wasn’t logical. So Buck had already spent half an hour on the phone to Bobby making sure he had the recipe absolutely perfect.

Eddie had been banished from the kitchen so Buck could concentrate. Only, now he was peering around the doorframe, taking in the mess Buck had made.

“Is it safe to approach?”

Buck turned to give him a baleful glare.

Holding up one hand in surrender, Eddie stepped into the kitchen. “I just want to feed Little Miss before she gets grumpy.” He had Lottie cradled in one arm. Though Eddie had gotten the hang of the baby wrap and used it when they went out sometimes, he preferred to just hold her at home.

“Is it really that-?” Buck glanced at Lottie, then at the time on his phone. Sure enough, she would need to eat soon. Turning back to the counter, Buck began making up a bottle for her. Even in the chaos of the kitchen, Buck had carefully left the corner with Lottie’s bottles alone. They had to disinfect it often enough without adding flour or cheese or whatever else.

“You’re spiraling.” Eddie said flatly.

“I am not spiraling.” Buck said petulantly as he shook the bottle to mix the formula.

Rolling his eyes, Eddie leaned his hip against the counter and looked at Buck. “Right. And you also weren’t measuring your cheese for the third time in a row when I walked in.”

Keeping his eyes on the bottle, he ran it under the tap to cool it. “People measure cheese.” Buck said, aware of how ridiculous he sounded even as he said it.

“What happened to ‘cooking is an art, baking is a science’? Weren’t you saying just the other day that ‘when you’re cooking you have to measure with your heart’?”

“Eddie-” Buck huffed at the way Eddie was trying to use his own words against him.

“Buck-” Eddie mimicked his tone perfectly. “It’s going to be fine.”

“I just want to get it right.” Buck mumbled.

“I know you do Buck, and I love that. But you know what will happen if it’s not the most perfect lasagne that has ever been made in the history of lasagne?”

“What?” Buck tried to ignore the way his heart leaped at Eddie saying the word ‘love’ in a sentence about Buck.

“Absolutely nothing. Worst case scenario, you burn the damn thing to a crisp and we order take out.” Eddie was calm and steady, as he always was when they were on a call. It was a rock for Buck to cling to when things became too much.

“I know.” Buck rubbed his bow tiredly. “I know, I’m being stupid.”

“Only a little.” Eddie reached out and knocked Buck’s hand away, rubbing his knuckles against Buck’s brow instead like he could press sense into him. “Besides, this isn’t really about the lasagne, is it?”

Buck put a drop of milk on the inside of his wrist to test it. Exactly his body temperature, perfect for Charlotte. “No, not really.” He admitted as he handed the bottle to Eddie.

“So?” Taking the bottle, Eddie adjusted Lottie in the crook of his elbow and offered it to her. She drank greedily, eyes closing.

Buck just watched her for a moment. She was already putting on some weight, looking more like a healthy, chubby baby. Just watching her calm and happy in Eddie’s arms calmed his heart a little.

“I- I want them to like me.” Buck admitted haltingly. It felt like such a childish need, ridiculous to spend so long worrying about.

“And you think they won’t?” Eddie asked.

“No? I mean- I have gotten like, unfathomably lucky with the 118. Most people just don’t react like you guys have.”

Eddie just watched him silently for long enough that Buck had to look away. “I think- maybe- you were also a little bit unlucky before that.” Eddie said finally.

“What?” Buck asked.

“Humans are hardwired to remember negative experiences better than positive ones. It’s like a survival tactic.”

Buck raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” Eddie asked defensively. “You think you have a monopoly on trivia? Anyway, my point is, there might be more people out there that would be happy to get to know you than you think. We’ve already interviewed five people that had nothing but good things to say about you.”

“Because I saved their lives.” Buck pointed out.

“Maybe that’s part of it. But- most people have never actually met a death mage. They only know stories and rumors. Meeting someone in person is a whole other thing.”

It was a decent point, but not one Buck put a lot of faith in. “I guess.”

“Well- okay. Do you think I would have invited them over if I thought either one of them would hate you?” Eddie gave him a pointed look.

Buck hadn’t thought of it like that. “No.”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t put you in that position deliberately. So.” Eddie sat at the kitchen table. “Tell me and Lottie about the redecorating you wanted to do in the living room.”

Buck eyed him suspiciously. “I thought you didn’t want me to redecorate it.”

Eddie shrugged. “How can I know whether to agree or disagree when I don’t know all the details?”

It was clear what Eddie was doing. His reassurance hadn’t quite done the trick so he’d switched to distraction instead. Buck allowed it, picking up the cheese and making the sauce as he described the many options they had for redecorating.

-

“They’re here!” Chris cried excitedly.

Moments later there was a knock at the door. Chris leaned heavily on one crutch as he heaved open the door. Apparently the ramp Buck and Eddie had installed was working, because Shannon was right outside.

“Mom!” Chris threw himself at her for a hug the moment she made it through the door.

Laughing, Shannon hugged him to her and kissed his head. “Hello my little wolf.”

“Mom- Dad and Buck helped me put planets up in my bedroom- come on I’ll show you!”

“Woah, hold your horses.” Eddie laughed. “They’ve only just gotten here. Give them a minute to breathe.” Then he leaned down to give Shannon a hug too.

“Hi Layla.” Chris moved to Layla and hugged her, apparently completely comfortable with her.

“Hey Chris.” Layla smiled and patted his back.

To Buck’s surprise, when Eddie pulled away, Shannon turned to him clearly expecting a hug. He had no objections so he quickly gave her one, patting her shoulder a little awkwardly.

“Here.” Shannon reached into the bag attached to the back of her wheelchair and brought out a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. “A thank you for hosting.”

She handed them to Buck as though he was an established member of the household.

“Thank you.” The wine looked like a nice red. “This will go perfectly with the lasagne.”

“Ooh lasagne.” Layla said excitedly.

“I hope you’re hungry.” Eddie said emphatically. “Buck’s made enough to feed an army.”

“Oh don’t you worry, I’m starving.” Layla laughed as they all moved towards the dining table.

“Where’s Lottie?” Shannon asked.

Buck liked the idea that Eddie’s nickname for her had caught on. It was pretty much all Eddie and Chris called her.

“She’s taking a nap now but she’ll be up soon.” Buck said.

As it turned out, Eddie had been right. Buck didn’t need to worry so much. The evening passed pleasantly.

Chris showed off the papier mache planets that now hung in his room. When Lottie woke she spent nearly an hour being cooed over by Shannon and Layla alternately. Buck’s lasagne turned out perfectly and everyone loved it.

After dinner, Buck found himself sitting on the couch with Shannon, watching as Layla and Chris dueled it out in a fighting game. Eddie was putting the leftovers in the fridge.

“You know,” Shannon mused softly, not loud enough for anyone else to hear. “I never got the chance to thank you properly.”

“Thank me?” Buck asked, matching her tone.

Shannon gave him a look that suggested he was being dense. “You saved my life. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, you saved my son’s life. I owe you more than I could ever repay.”

“Oh- you don’t- you don’t have to-” Buck stuttered.

“Eddie said you’d try to brush it off. But really, Buck. Thank you.” Shannon smiled at him, wide and warm. Buck could see why Eddie had liked her so much.

And what could he say to that but, “You’re welcome.”

“If there’s anything I can do to repay you, or just to help you out, please just say the word.”

Buck struggled to imagine asking her for anything but he nodded anyway. “Thanks, Shannon.”

Then Layla cried out in defeat as Chris won the round, and Buck and Shannon were drafted in to play the next one.

-

The house was quiet now. Shannon and Layla had been sent off with a tupperware full of leftover lasagne. Christopher had been put to bed, thoroughly exhausted by all the excitement. Charlotte was in her bassinet, well enough to be left alone for a while.

Buck and Eddie puttered around the kitchen, Buck finishing off his last beer of the night as they cleaned up.

“I told you it would be fine.” Eddie said smugly as he snagged Buck’s beer and took a swig.

Buck couldn’t even try to summon annoyance, instead just rolling his eyes fondly. “Yeah, you did.”

“I meant it, Buck.” Eddie said seriously.

Buck found himself caught by the intensity in Eddie’s dark eyes. It made him just a little breathless.

“I would never deliberately invite someone here that would hate you. Or even make you uncomfortable.”

Buck had no words to reply.

“I want you to be comfortable here, Buck. It’s important to me. You’re- you’re important to me.”

It felt bigger than the words themselves. Like something else was hiding behind them.

“Eddie.”

They swayed towards one another by degrees. Like falling into the inevitable. Like Orpheus turning to look at-

Eddie straightened up. No more than an inch, but it froze Buck to the spot.

“You’re important to me too.” Buck said hoarsely.

For a long moment they just stared at one another, caught in the gravity of the moment.

Eddie pressed the beer bottle back into Buck’s hand, their finger’s brushing ever so slightly. “Goodnight Buck.” Eddie whispered so quietly Buck almost didn’t hear it.

“Goodnight.” Buck tried to say, but the word choked itself in his throat.

As he listened to Eddie’s footsteps retreat down the hall, Buck tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling.

Had Eddie been leaning in? Or was that just wishful thinking on Buck’s part?

Buck downed the end of his lukewarm beer and tried not to think about Eddie’s lips against the rim of the bottle.

Chapter Text

Buck had been primed for the atmosphere the next morning to be awkward. He got up, got dressed feeling like he was heading into some kind of warzone, and took Lottie into the kitchen with him.

But when Eddie got up, he was acting perfectly normal. He wandered into the kitchen the same as any other morning and got started on coffee for them both. Then he took Lottie from Buck and went to wake up Chris. That had become part of their routine of weekend mornings, Eddie liked to lean Lottie over Chris and let her pat his face to wake him up. So far it hadn’t failed to make Chris laugh.

If Eddie was pretending nothing had happened, then Buck would follow his lead. He found himself watching Eddie a little too much, but beyond that he thought he was doing a reasonable job of being normal.

But then- maybe nothing had happened. Maybe it had been entirely in his own head, just his own wants messing with his perception. When it came down to it, that made more sense than the idea of Eddie actually leaning in as if to kiss him.

The plan that day was to take the kids to the zoo, so that was what they stuck to. Buck wondered all day if Eddie was going to say anything about the previous evening. But he only talked about it being a nice evening, seeing Shannon and Layla, and said they should do it again sometime.

Seeing as Shannon had offered her help, Eddie suggested adding her to the line up of people making testimonials for Buck. But Buck had to shoot that one down straight away. It was one thing to make videos of people talking about him tearing apart cars or parting flood waters. But what he had done for Shannon was different. The situation was already bad enough without revealing that particular ability to the general public.

So they enjoyed their day at the park without talking about anything serious, and Buck came to the conclusion that he had, in fact, imagined the moment between him and Eddie.

-

Four days later, Eddie was sluggish as he got up and ready for work.

Buck frowned at him, tipping his head to get a better look at Eddie’s face. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine.” Eddie mumbled dismissively, brushing off Buck’s concern as he determinedly packed his work bag.

Buck folded his arms as he stood in the doorway, not exactly convinced by that.

When Eddie tried to leave the room he came up short at Buck standing there. “Buck, I’m fine.” Eddie’s voice was a little gravelly, but that could be because he had only just woken up.

“Alright.” Buck held his hands up in surrender, moving aside to let Eddie pass.

Eddie had certainly stubbornly worked through colds before. They all had, other than Buck. Given Buck’s magic boosted immune system, when Buck got sick it was usually something pretty debilitating. But Buck liked the idea of Eddie working while sick a whole lot less when Buck wasn’t there to watch his back.

“Are you sure-” Buck asked as Eddie picked up his keys.

“Buck.” Eddie said flatly. Just from the tone, Buck could tell this wasn’t an argument he was going to win.

Sighing, Buck shook his head. “Have a good day at work.”

“Thank you.” Eddie pressed a hand briefly to Buck’s shoulder, kissed Chris and Lottie goodbye and headed to work.

So Buck took Chris to school, and went to get more DIY supplies. The whole time, he tried not to focus on the magic on Eddie’s back. Technically, if he wanted to, he could use it to keep an eye on Eddie’s condition. But Buck had been trying not to pry. Sure, they lived in each other’s pockets 90% of the time, but they both needed privacy sometimes.

After all, Eddie had accepted the magic so he could help Charlotte, not so Buck could spy on him. But Buck couldn’t help feeling the way Eddie’s energy waned even over the first few hours of his shift.

Buck sighed and looked down at Lottie in her carrier. “What do you think baby? Shall we go check on Eddie?”

Lottie made an odd gurgling screech noise.

“Yeah okay.” It wouldn’t be the first time Buck had taken her for a visit at the station.

It always stung just a little, being there when he wasn’t actually working in the station. But mostly it was nice to see everyone. He had to park in the visitor space but he determinedly didn’t think about that.

Inside, he ran into Chim first.

“Buck! Didn’t realize you were visiting today.” Chim greeted him cheerfully.

“Figured I’d drop by.” Buck shrugged casually.

“Here to check on Oscar the grouch?” Chim tipped his head to where Eddie was rolling up the hoses, ignoring everything going on around him.

Buck winced. “That bad?”

Eddie had a hard time controlling his temper when he was sick. Especially when whatever he had was affecting his senses. He always felt awful about it afterwards. But the overstimulation was just impossible to ignore. Buck could sympathize, when he was overloaded with magic, sometimes even a brush against his skin felt like nails digging into him.

“Eddie keeps insisting that he’s just fine, but I’m pretty sure if he gets any worse Bobby’s going to order him home. But after the whole…” Chim trailed off meaningfully.

But Buck didn’t quite catch his meaning. “The…?”

Chim squinted in the way he did when he was uncomfortable. “After everything that happened with Bobby… Blocking you from coming back to work. I think it’s made him a little… I don’t know… hesitant?”

Buck grimaced. That was the opposite of what he wanted. But it would probably be best for everyone involved if Eddie chose to go home rather than being ordered.

“I’ll talk to Eddie.” Buck said.

Chim huffed. “Better you than me. Here, I’ll take Charlotte.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “I see how it is. You like her better than me.”

“Are you kidding? Of course I do.” Chim laughed as he settled Lottie in his arms. “She’s just about the cutest kid I’ve ever seen. And you’re…” Chim gestured at him vaguely and made a face of disgust.

“Oh, get lost Han.” Buck shot back, though he was grinning as he said it.

“Go get your boy Buckley.” Chim said, already hustling away so Buck couldn’t even retort without shouting across the station.

While Chim spirited Lottie away upstairs, Buck headed for Eddie. Having finished putting away the hoses, Eddie was leaning against the wall and catching his breath.

“Buck.” Eddie said, blankly surprised as he caught sight of him. “When did you get here?”

“A few minutes ago.”

Eddie wiped his forehead. “I didn’t know you were gonna come today.”

Casually shrugging, Buck reached out to put his hand on Eddie’s forehead. “Just thought I’d drop by.” As expected, Eddie was warmer than he should be.

“Buck, I’m-”

“Edmundo Diaz, if you try to tell me that you’re fine right now-” Buck interrupted.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at the full name. “Oh you’re serious.”

“I’m so serious. You’re dead on your feet Eddie. Let me take you home.” Buck said softly, giving in to the urge to move his hand to Eddie’s cheek.

They stared at one another for a moment, caught again.

“Okay.” Eddie said finally.

“Great.” Buck forced himself to pull away, instead taking Eddie’s hand. “Let’s go get Bobby to call in cover for you.”

Upstairs, Chim had already relinquished Lottie into Bobby’s care. He was gamely allowing her to gum at the knuckle of his pinky finger. Even as tired as Eddie was, the sight made him smile.

“She seems more lively.” Bobby said with a smile.

“Yeah she’s improving.” Buck said as he reached out to adjust Lottie’s sock where it was trying to worm its way off her foot. “She’s started hitting some of the milestones for the age they assumed she was at the hospital, so that’s reassuring.”

“I’m glad. She’s certainly been through enough.”

Buck swallowed against the lump that appeared in his throat at that. “Yeah. Yeah she has.”

Bobby eyed Eddie. “And how are you doing Eddie?”

Sighing, Eddie rubbed a hand over his forehead. “Buck is gonna take me home.”

The relief on Bobby’s face was poorly hidden. Buck got the feeling he had been prepared to have that argument with Eddie if he absolutely had to, but he would really rather not.

“I see. I’ll call in cover then.” He turned his attention to Lottie and stroked his thumb over her hair. “Guess I’m showing you my office, kiddo.”

It would take a little while for Eddie’s replacement to get there, and even while sick Eddie could be man behind if they got a call. So Buck dragged him over to the couch and they sat down to wait.

Despite agreeing to go home, Eddie was trying valiantly to seem fine. He sat there and blearily tried to keep track of the conversation Buck, Ravi and Hen were having. But slowly, Eddie leaned more and more heavily against Buck’s side. Eventually he was collapsed like a sack of potatoes against him, Eddie’s head pressed to Buck’s shoulder. Buck had shifted slowly to make it more comfortable for Eddie, so he wasn’t straining his neck. The whole time he pointedly ignored the raised eyebrow that Hen aimed his way.

When Bobby joined them. Most of the attention turned to Lottie. She was actually alert, watching as Ravi used his magic to make blobs of cola make shapes in the air. Which devolved into an argument about whether a blob looked like a dog or a horse. Lottie seemed unbothered by the chaos, happy to chew on her own fist and take everything in with her big brown eyes.

“You doin’ okay?” Buck asked quietly, half speaking into Eddie’s hair.

“‘M fine.” Eddie mumbled, stubborn as ever. Though even as he said it, he pressed his forehead against Buck’s shoulder to shield his eyes from the light. Buck got the feeling he had a piercing headache.

“If you say so.” Buck said softly, running a comforting hand through Eddie’s hair.

Eventually O’Neil turned up to take over. Buck collected an excited Lottie and a lethargic Eddie, who was now wearing sunglasses thanks to Hen. It took him a while to get them situated in the Jeep, but eventually Buck got them all home safely.

There was a simple kind of joy in looking after other people, one that Buck hadn’t had enough chance to indulge in over his life. But he convinced Eddie to go to bed and put Lottie down for her nap, and made a soup ready for when Eddie was well enough to eat it. That afternoon Buck picked Chris up from school.

Buck warned Chris that his dad wasn’t feeling well, so they played games in the living room a little quieter than usual.

Later that evening, after dinner when everyone else was in bed, Buck stood alone in the soft glow of the kitchen as he did the dishes. He wondered what it would be like if this was his everyday.

But he was shaken from his thoughts by a phone call from Alexandra.

Buck stepped out into the backyard so the call wouldn’t disturb either Eddie or Chris. “Hi-”

“We have a verdict.” Alexandra said in lieu of a hello.

Buck froze. He had been expecting an update on the progress, not a final verdict. “They- what? But-”

“I know. But I guess they feel like they have better things to do, because they’ve made a decision.”

Buck took a deep breath as he began pacing the backyard. “Okay. A decision. So?”

On the other side of the line, Alexandra sighed. “Well, it seems like your boy’s videos helped. They were pretty set on relocation as well but that convinced them it wasn’t necessary.”

Oh thank the gods for Eddie. “No relocation. Okay. That’s good. So- so what is it?”

Alexandra hesitated. “They want you to do a Kurja-mirai.”

Between being raised by Alexandra and his own research, Buck knew about most magical subjects. He thought he’d at least heard of almost everything. But this one was completely new to him. “A what?”

“I can’t tell you.”

That pulled Buck up short. Because Alexandra had never flat out refused to tell him anything. Even when he was a kid, if anything she had been too forthcoming. She had never once spared him the gory details, even when they scared him. Whenever he had gotten freaked out, she had explained to him that she was trying to prepare him for what life would be like. What death mages had to deal with.

So Buck had no clue how to approach the conversation. He’d never even had to try wheedling information out of her, he didn’t know where to start. “What do you mean you can’t tell me?”

“I know it’s hard to hear. But I really can’t tell you.” Alexandra sounded soft. Like, actually soft.

If alarm bells hadn’t already been ringing, they certainly were now. Alexandra was almost never soft, especially not with him.

“Alex- you can’t just say ‘I can’t tell you’ and leave it at that.” Buck was halfway pleading with her. What the hell even was this Kurja-mirai? It didn’t even sound similar to any Verkatsora word he’d heard of.

“I’ll come over and explain what I can in person. It’s going to be fine.”

Buck wasn’t sure he had ever felt less like it was going to be fine. It felt distinctly like this could bring everything crumbling down, relocation be damned.

But what could he do about it? He’d gone into this knowing that whatever decision the Mortis made, he would have to live with. No appeals, no second chances. Whatever this thing was that was freaking out Alexandra, Buck would just have to deal with it.

“Okay.” Buck said, because what else could he possibly say?

“I’ll see you soon.” Alexandra promised. And then she hung up.

Buck tipped his head back and stared at the sky. The stars were obscured by light pollution but for the first time in a while he wished he could see them. The night sky had always been weirdly grounding for him. It never changed, no matter how chaotic his life got.

Tomorrow he would try to get as much information out of Alexandra as he could. But tonight he took another deep breath, and went inside to finish doing the dishes.

Chapter Text

Eddie woke up immediately disoriented. His bedroom was oddly bright, sunlight spilling in around the edges. Given his shift work, he was used to waking in the early morning when the sun was low, or in the late afternoon when the sun shone on the other side of the house. He fumbled for his phone and checked the time, 12:38.

His first coherent thought was of Chris. But the panic that usually would have come with waking up so late was nowhere to be found. He knew Buck would have sorted Chris out, the same way he’d made Chris dinner the evening before. There was something so liberating about being able to rely on someone else. Properly rely on them. When Eddie was sick he didn’t have to force himself out of bed to get Chris dinner or drive him to school. Before he met Buck, Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so… looked after. Shannon had tried at times. But Eddie had been so caught up in the idea that he had to be the man of the house, that he had to be the one looking after her- he’d never really let her.

Taking stock of himself, Eddie realized he was feeling a lot better. His head was no longer pounding, his limbs didn’t feel like they had cinder blocks tied to them anymore. There was a lingering whole body ache, but it was manageable. As much as he hated to admit it, Buck had been right to drag his grumpy ass home. He only would have gotten worse if he’d stubbornly worked the rest of his shift.

Still, if there was one thing Eddie hated more than being sick, it was doing nothing. Lying in bed all day quickly started making Eddie’s skin crawl. So, he forced himself to get up and shower.

When he was showered and dressed and a little more alert, Eddie looked around the house and realized Buck wasn’t there. Lottie was asleep in her bassinet with the baby monitor next to her, so he couldn’t have gone far. Eddie checked her briefly, but she was sleeping soundly so he left her alone.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of movement outside. He realized Buck was in the yard, almost certainly expanding his rampage of home improvement. Smiling to himself, Eddie stepped out the back door.

The edges of the lawn might have once upon a time been flowerbeds, but they had been abandoned long before Eddie had ever moved into the house. He was pretty decent at DIY, but the few times he’d tried his hand at gardening it had gone poorly, so he hadn’t bothered. Buck was determinedly breaking up clumps of hard earth with a trowel.

“Buck.”

Buck jumped, evidently not having heard Eddie approach. He turned and squinted up at Eddie against the sunlight. “Hey- you’re up! How are you feeling?”

Eddie shrugged. “Alright. Much better than yesterday.”

“Good- that’s good. I’m glad.” Nodding too many times, Buck got to his feet. “Are you hungry? There’s some leftover soup in the fridge, or I can make you something else if you would prefer-”

“Soup sounds good.” Eddie said easily, half to stop Buck’s rambling and half because he was actually hungry. “I can heat it up.”

“No, no that’s okay, I’ll do it. Just- let me clean up.”

Before Eddie could even attempt a protest, Buck was already disappearing inside. Frowning now, Eddie watched as Buck glanced at Lottie, who was still happily asleep, and then headed for the kitchen. Confused and increasingly concerned, Eddie trailed behind him and watched as Buck scrubbed his hands clean under the kitchen tap.

“Okay” Eddie said, folding his arms as he leaned against the counter. “What’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” Buck hummed distractedly, looking for a towel to dry his hands.

Eddie handed him the towel. “Talk to me.”

Sighing, Buck dried his hands and used the towel to wipe sweat from his brow before tossing it into the corner to be washed later. “Alexandra is coming over later. Apparently the Mortis have made a decision.”

Eddie stared at him in shock. “Already? I thought it would take longer.”

“So did I.” Buck agreed tiredly.

Really looking at Buck, Eddie took in his tense shoulders, the way Buck wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Bad news?” If it was, he wanted the band-aid ripped off as quickly as possible.

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me.” Still not looking at him, Buck went to the fridge and pulled out the leftover soup.

“But you’re upset.” That much was glaringly obvious.

“She doesn’t do this, Eddie.” Buck said, finally turning to him. “She tells me the truth. Even when it’s awful, or it’s going to hurt me. Tells me more than I want to know half the time. Always has, for as long as I can remember. She speaks her mind. The fact that she isn’t now is- freaking me out.”

The idea that Buck was used to being told more than he wanted to know by a trusted adult somehow made sense. With Chris, Eddie tried to shield him from the worst parts of life. Chris would eventually have to face them, but there was no reason to expose him to awful things for no reason. Having Alexandra be so honest with him might have created a lot of trust in her, but it had to have affected Buck’s development as well.

“She didn’t say anything at all?”

“Just that the Mortis want me to do- something. I didn’t recognize the word. I even tried looking it up but- nothing.” It seemed Buck was even more stressed that his fallback of research had failed him.

The thing was, Eddie couldn’t claim to know Alexandra all that well. In her own slightly strange way, she seemed to have Buck’s interests in mind. She had appeared so quickly after Buck had been injured, that seemed to show real concern.

But then, maybe her loyalty to the Mortis overshadowed whatever protective feelings she might have for Buck. After all, Buck had plainly said that Alexandra wasn’t his parent, that she had never even wanted to be a parent at all.

At a loss for how to deal with that, Eddie focused on practicalities. “But she’s coming over to explain in person?” He rubbed at his forehead, grimacing slightly.

“You still have a headache.” Buck said, almost accusatory.

“A little.” Eddie admitted, caught out. “It’s fine.” He hadn’t really noticed until Buck pointed it out like that.

But Buck was already pulling painkillers out from the cupboard and thrusting them at Eddie. Though Eddie made a face, he took the meds. He and Buck were both better at making one another do things than they were at doing them without prompting.

“I don’t know what she’s going to say.” Buck said, tired and defeated. “But I don’t want to think about it.”

Eddie hated not having anything useful to do, but he nodded. “Alright.”

Just then, Lottie cried out from the living room. Buck’s head snapped up. Lottie actually crying loudly was a newer development, seemingly a sign she was doing well.

“You get her, I’ll sort the soup.” Eddie offered.

Nodding, Buck went into the living room and Eddie pulled a pan from the cupboard. He decided to distract Buck was much as possible until Alexandra appeared. Buck had never had much success in corralling his own thoughts.

-

They sat on the living room carpet where Buck was trying to entice Lottie into rolling over by holding her favorite stuffed toy, her wolf that matched Chris’, just out of reach. She was reaching for it, but wasn’t quite at the rolling over stage. So Buck gave in and tickled her tummy with the wolf.

She laughed in response. She’d been smiling at them for a while now but-

“Was that-” Eddie stared at Buck.

“That’s the first time she’s done that.” Buck confirmed. Buck scooped Lottie up from the carpet and he and Eddie laughed in amazement. “Was that funny? Huh Lottiebug?”

She didn’t laugh again, just grinned at Buck. Eddie stroked his finger over her cheek and was graced with a smile as well. “I didn’t think she could get any cuter.”

“Oh I think she has infinite cute potential.” Buck leaned into Eddie’s side, propping Lottie up against his bent knees so they could both see her.

“You’re probably right.” Eddie agreed easily.

It was an hour later that they had a knock on the door. Eddie took Lottie to put her in her bassinet while Buck went to answer it.

“Buck.” Alexandra didn’t waste any time on pleasantries as she stepped inside, just got right down to business. “You’ll need to pack a bag. We’re going to DC.”

Though Buck didn’t say anything in response, he didn’t seem surprised.

“How long will he be gone?” Eddie asked, because arguing that he shouldn’t have to go anywhere seemed useless at that point.

“A few days.” Alexandra said shortly. “Two, probably.”

“Can you tell me anything about it?” Buck asked, a note of pleading in his voice.

Flicking her braid over her shoulder, Alexandra sighed. “It’s- a test. You just have to pass it. That’s all.”

“And if I don’t?”

Alexandra just looked at Buck mutely.

“Right.” Buck said. “What about Charlotte?”

“I’ll look after her.” Eddie said quickly. It was bad enough that Buck had to go to the Mortis, Eddie didn’t want to give them Lottie too.

Alexandra glanced at him, eyebrow raised. “Will that work?” She asked Buck.

Buck glanced at Eddie. “Yeah. She only needs a couple hours of magic exposure each day now. But are you sure? You’re still sick, and-”

“I’ll be fine.” Eddie said firmly. “I can get help if I need it, but she’s not exactly a difficult baby.”

Buck nodded slowly. “Okay. If you’re sure. I’d rather she was here anyway.”

It would make Eddie feel marginally better if Buck didn’t have to worry about Lottie while he was dealing with… whatever this test was.

“I’ll… pack a bag I guess.” Buck headed for the bedroom where he had two drawers full of his stuff.

The moment he was gone, Alexandra’s shoulders dropped. She stared blankly at the corridor.

“How dangerous is this? Seriously.” Eddie asked.

Alexandra looked at him with her odd dark eyes. “It’s not, really. Not in the way you’re thinking. He’ll be alright.”

Eddie’s mouth twisted unhappily, but there was little else he could say.

Buck appeared, bag in hand.

Alexandra straightened again, putting on the kind of social mask Eddie recognized from working with soldiers. “I’ll wait outside.” She stepped out and pulled the door closed behind her.

Buck and Eddie stood by the door, staring mutely at one another. Eddie wanted to say something. Send him off well, reassure him as best as Eddie was capable of. But Eddie had run out of reassurances, had no more comforting words to say. So Eddie pulled Buck into a tight hug. Buck sank into it like this was the lifeline he had been waiting for, wrapping his arms around Eddie and clinging to him.

“Call me when you get there. And if you’re not back in three days, I’m coming to drag you back here.” Eddie warned.

“Good.” Buck mumbled, halfway muffled by Eddie’s shirt. “I’ll call as soon as I can.”

Eddie didn’t want to let go. By the way Buck held on to him, Buck didn’t want to either. But eventually Lottie made a soft noise behind them. They pulled back from one another and Buck went to pick her up.

Cradling Lottie close, Buck kissed her head. “See you soon baby.”

Then he passed her over to Eddie. Holding her against his chest, Eddie used her weight to keep him from reaching out to Buck and keeping him there, Mortis be damned.

“Tell Chris I’ll see him in a few days.” Buck whispered to Eddie this time. He squeezed Eddie’s upper arm once, then turned away.

Then Buck was gone, out the door. He got into Alexandra’s car, and gave them a little wave as they drove away.

When the car turned the corner out of Eddie’s sight, he forced himself to shut the front door. He tried to swallow the weird dread rising in his stomach. He had no reason to think something bad was going to happen, even if he didn’t trust the Mortis. He didn’t need to be staring out the door like a war widow in a black and white film.

Lottie fussed, as though picking up on Eddie’s unease. Shushing her, Eddie rocked her gently and forced himself to be calm.

Buck would be back in a few days and everything would be fine. So Eddie went to make some calls.

Chapter Text

Buck ran.

He pushed himself as hard as he could, driving his feet into the sidewalk as though that might get him there even a moment sooner. As though he might actually make it in time to help.

As he ran the crackled words he’d heard over the radio echoed in his mind. Firefighter down, 118 under attack, approach scene with caution.

But Buck had no caution left in him as he pelted towards the apartment building. The miasma of death grew stronger with every step he took, folding around him with familiar hands. He stared up at the fire catching in an apartment on the fourth floor.

“Sir- you can’t!” Someone yelled. But they were too far away to stop him, so they didn’t matter.

Buck didn’t have any equipment with him. Wasn’t even in his turnouts, only jeans and a hoodie. But he didn’t care.

He pushed through the front door, shouldering past fleeing civilians. The Grey only got thicker.

There, on the floor, head twisted at an awkward angle against a row of mailboxes, was a body. It didn’t take a death mage to see that he was dead.

Half of his face was a crater. His skull had been caved in, crushed like an apple. Skin and bone and brain matter mixed together in an unidentifiable mess. The name tag on his uniform read ‘Panikkar’.

Buck should have been there.

He forced himself to look away and took the stairs two at a time, barely registering the people rushing past him. They were upright, making their way out on their own, they didn’t need his help.

Next he found Chim. Laid out across the stairs, a hole the size of a fist punched through his chest. His own heart rested next to his face, twitching.

Buck should have been there.

He kept moving, unable to stop. There was Hen, laying in the corridor. In two different pieces. Torn apart at the waist, top half dragged across the shitty hallway carpet. He could barely look at her.

Buck could have saved them.

Bobby was half propped up against the wall, as though sitting up. But his throat had been ripped out. Tendons and muscle hung out of him like the roots of a plant torn from the ground. His hollow eyes stared right at Buck, boring into him. Accusatory.

Buck should have been there. Buck could have saved them.

He came to the only door in the whole corridor that was closed. He could already feel the heat of fire through it, could hear the crackling. Buck’s pulse screamed Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie with every beat of his heart.

Buck kicked the door open. He was momentarily blinded by the firelight.

But then he saw Eddie, kneeling in the middle of what was once a living room, now ablaze. A man stood behind him, one hand planted firmly in Eddie’s hair, yanking his head back. Eddie’s hands were limp at his sides, his eyes silently pleading with Buck for help.

This was wrong- wrong- wrong-

Buck stepped inside. “Eddie-”

The man smiled at Buck, cold and cruel. “Too late, Evan.”

He dug the knife into Eddie’s neck, sweeping it across in one awful gesture.

Buck screamed, throwing himself forward. With a swipe of his hand, he threw the man into the wall, through the fire.

But blood was already pouring down onto Eddie’s uniform, staining it black. Eddie choked as Buck desperately pressed his hand to Eddie’s neck, trying to stem the blood. His magic curled around his hand, looking for arteries to pin together, to keep the blood inside. But it just kept gushing.

“No- no no no.” Buck babbled, drawing Eddie into his arms. “No- please-”

Eddie opened his mouth, trying to speak. But blood bubbled out, dripping down his chin. He reached up, one hand scrabbling to hold Buck’s wrist.

“Please-” Buck begged uselessly. He was useless- all the power in the world meant nothing if he couldn’t save Eddie- if only he were a life mage, maybe- maybe.

“Bu-” Eddie tried, choking on his own blood.

“It’s okay, it’s okay Eddie.” Buck tried to be comforting even as tears dripped from his face onto Eddie’s chest.

Eddie’s grip went slack.

Buck felt the moment he died. The moment Eddie surrendered to the Grey. The moment his eyes went glazed and far away.

Gone.

Buck screamed into Eddie’s hair, clutching him close like he could force the life back into him somehow.

“Aw. So sweet.” A voice said.

Shaking, Buck looked up at the man. He still held the knife, dripping with Eddie’s dark blood.

“You know, you guys had cute kids.” He twirled the knife, still grinning. “What were they called? Chris and Lottie? You should have heard them scream.”

Even as rage flooded his system, Buck was careful with Eddie as he laid him on the floor.

“You could have saved them Evan. All of them.” He said, smug and awful.

Silently, Buck raised a hand, gathering his magic. He wrapped a band of dark power around the man’s neck, squeezing.

But it was as if it had no effect. The man just kept fucking grinning at him.

There was so much magic in the air- it felt even thicker than after the tsunami. Trying to crawl down his throat, burrow into his chest.

So Buck accepted it. Pulled it into himself and poured it out at the man. Evidently he was a mage too, because he resisted the increasing power.

“Who should I pay a little visit to next? Maybe Athena? Or Maddie?”

“Stop!” Buck roared.

If magic wasn’t working, there were other ways to get the job done. He crossed the room in three long strides, ignoring the heat of the fire. He barreled into the man, taking them both to the ground.

The man laughed, grappling with Buck. He was surprisingly strong. They wrestled for control. Though Buck was a big guy, he didn’t have a lot of fighting experience. Some training from his brief stint with the SEALs, but that was years ago.

They rolled, shoving Buck’s back into the flames. He shrieked as he felt his own flesh bubbling, searing down to the bone.

“You can’t do anything, Buck. You are nothing.” The man’s face was so close, so taunting. Then he put one cruel hand to Buck’s chin and wrenched his head back. The bones in Buck’s neck popped sickeningly.

With his neck bent at an unnatural angle, Buck could see Eddie’s face through the flames. His empty eyes and blood streaked mouth.

The magic and the pain and the horrific jagged grief swallowed him whole. His vision went white, power exploding from him.

Buck lost control.

*

Buck screamed. He lay on his back, body locked in position. His chest was a vice, he couldn’t drag in a full breath even as his screams turned hoarse.

Hands touched his shoulders. Buck flinched, trying to roll away from them though his body barely responded.

“It’s okay! It’s okay.” Alexandra- that was Alexandra’s voice just above him. Not that man.

Buck gasped, utterly incoherent.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Alexandra’s hands moved to his face, cradling him so gently. She pulled him into a hug, resting his head against her collarbone. He was too big for her to really get her arms around properly, but she held tightly to him anyway. Grounding him to reality.

“It wasn’t real.” She whispered against his hair. “It wasn’t real.”

Buck reached for the magic he had left on Eddie. It was faint with distance but it was still there. Still real. Buck focused on the feeling of it, letting Eddie’s heartbeat wash over him until it was as though Eddie’s heart was beating alongside his own inside his chest.

That was right, Eddie was in LA, safe at home with Chris and Lottie. The kids were fine. Buck was in DC with Alexandra.

Time stretched as they sat there, Buck slowly catching his breath.

“Fuck.” Buck muttered, finally coordinated enough to wipe the tears from his face. “What the fuck.”

“Yeah.” Alexandra moved back just a little, letting him sit up. But she kept a hand on his knee, not letting go entirely. “That sounds about right.”

“Was that- was that the test?” Buck asked as his brain finally came back online.

“It was.” Alexandra confirmed, wiping hair from her face. “You passed.”

Frowning at her, Buck tilted his head. He wiped sweat from his own face. “What? But- I lost control.”

“That’s the point. This isn’t like stress testing, you can’t hold out against it. This was designed to push you all the way to failure point. The test is supposed to find out where that failure point is.”

Buck was too strung out to think about it. He just nodded. Looking around them, he realized they were in what looked like a basement, made up of cinder blocks and poured concrete. There was a vague memory of getting to DC and coming here, but it was all kind of fuzzy. Probably because they had been trying so hard to convince him the magical simulation was real. There had been other people in the room before, using their power to fuel the test. But they were gone now, leaving him to his mentor’s care.

“Come on. Do you think you can stand?”

Honestly, Buck wasn’t sure. But he wanted to get the hell out of there badly enough to try. Alexandra stabilized him as he climbed awkwardly to his feet, keeping her hands under his elbow.

Painfully slowly, they made their way out. Alexandra led them to the odd little room where they’d left their stuff. When Buck opened his phone, he saw he had four missed calls from Eddie. His heart dropped. Had something happened?

He was calling Eddie before he’d even registered what he was doing.

Eddie answered almost immediately. “Buck? Are you alright? I felt- I don’t know-”

“I’m okay.” Buck said, though his voice was so hoarse it probably wasn’t very reassuring. “Are you?”

“Yeah- yeah we’re all fine here. Promise. But- Buck, it felt like something…” Eddie trailed off, clearly at a loss for how to explain it.

“I’m okay.” Buck said again.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, clearly unwilling to let it go without any answer at all.

“I-” Buck choked, unable even to process it yet.

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice was soft.

“Just the test. It was- it was a lot.”

“Okay.” Eddie accepted that, for now. “Are you coming home?”

Home. Oh, Buck wanted so badly to be at home with them. “Yeah- I’ll. Be back tomorrow.”

“Good.” Eddie said with feeling. “Good. Okay.”

“Are-” Buck hesitated, having to swallow hard to keep from crying again. “Are the kids with you?”

“They’re here. Do you want to talk to Chris?” Eddie offered. Somehow Eddie knew exactly what he needed, without Buck having to actually ask.

“Just for a minute?”

“Of course. Chris? Come say hi to Buck.”

Buck could imagine them in the living room.

“Hi Buck!” Chris said, a little too loud and a little too close to the phone.

“Hi Chris.” Buck tried to keep his voice light and missed by a mile. “Are you having a good day?”

“Yeah! We went shopping and bought Lottie a bear costume. She’s a teddy bear!”

Buck grinned at the idea of it. “Can’t wait to see it.”

“And I got a new Lego set- I’ll show you when you get home.” Chris sounded so happy it lifted a little of the heaviness in Buck’s chest.

“I can’t wait kiddo. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“Okay! See you!” There was the sound of Chris moving away from the phone.

“I’ll send you a photo of her onesie.” Eddie said, sounding warm and affectionate.

“Thank you.” Buck said, meaning so much more than just the photo.

“You’re welcome. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

Taking a deep breath, Buck tried to evaluate himself. “No, that’s okay.” Just hearing their voices had settled him in a way he didn’t think anything else would have. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Eddie said, making it sound like an absolute, a certainty.

Then Buck forced himself to hang up. Otherwise he might have stayed on the phone for hours.

A few minutes later, as they were leaving, Buck’s phone buzzed with an incoming photo. It was of Lottie sitting in Chris’ lap, wearing the most adorable fuzzy bear onesie. It had little ears on the hood, and it made her face look rounder than ever. Chris was grinning at the camera, one hand on Lottie’s stomach so she wouldn’t slip down, keeping her safe. Buck trailed behind Alexandra, staring at it, taking in each and every detail.

When she asked what he was staring at. Buck showed her. Though Alexandra generally thought all babies looked the same and wanted little to do with them, she smiled at the photo.

“You did well Buck. Let’s get you home.”

-

It took hours for Buck to fully come back to his body. When he did, he realized he felt kind of wired, exhausted but jittery like he had been after the tsunami.

“Why do I feel so…” He trailed off, stretching out his fingers in front of him and watching the fine tremor.

“Overloaded?” Alexandra asked, and that was a fair enough description of how he felt, so he nodded. “They want the simulation to be as real as possible so they loaded you up with power. Not enough to really overwhelm you but…” She shook her head slightly. “You’re more powerful than any of us even realized.”

Buck bit the inside of his mouth. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

Sighing, Alexandra glanced out the window, waiting for the car in front of them to turn. “It’s… just something to be aware of, really.”

Buck got the feeling it wasn’t exactly great. But he didn’t voice the thought. Rubbing his forehead, Buck looked forward to sleeping on the plane. In less than 24 hours, he would be home.