Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I am a recent college graduate and used to be a part of a band called Dirtspine. Although I rose to fame in a grunge band, and touched the hearts of many people who felt just like me. The happiness faded and so did our spark, still I never would've thought we'd become disbanded, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect me positively. Due to the fame of the band and my newfound salary, I had no desire to stay in the spotlight, so I moved back to my hometown.

I now own a two-story, two-bedroom house in Nockfell, which I bought as soon as I had enough money for a down payment. From what I had seen so far, the neighbors seemed rather nice. In the house, next door lived three college boys—one with curly orange hair and glasses, another tall with a bit of a caffeine addiction, and a guy with long brown hair. Pretty peculiar neighbors, but so is everyone—so who am I to judge? However, the blue-haired guy that came to visit them stood out the most because there were so many unanswered questions. Was his hair naturally blue? Where was he from? Because he didn't seem to be local. And why did he wear that mask?

As I stared out the window, surrounded by brown cardboard boxes, I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts by a loud knock on the door and a faint voice complaining, "Why did you have to knock that loud?" Instantly, I ran to the door and opened it. Unfortunately, I was unaware of my horrible state—wearing black leggings, an oversized knit sweater that almost engulfed my figure, and horrible dark circles from staying up late setting up my drumset in my room.

The long-haired boy at the door held out his hand for a handshake, which I returned with my best fake smile.

"Hey, I'm Lar—"

He suddenly looked shocked, and so did I. As I gazed at him, recognition hit me like a wave. My childhood friend from years ago—the one I had grown up with when my parents could only afford the shitty apartments near my grandparents' house. It was Larry Johnson.

My eyes gleamed with happiness as I shook his hand again. "Larry! How have you been after all this time?"

His reaction mirrored mine as he grinned and said, "I've been awesome, dude! These are my roommates. I guess we're your new neighbors now." He then pointed to the house directly across the street.

I instantly responded, "Damn, what a coincidence that is..."

The blue-haired guy next to him seemed a bit concerned and asked, "Did we wake you up? You look tired."

Quickly, I replied, "Oh no! Just a late night with moving."

They weren't trying to invade my space, but the boxes stacked behind me looked as if they were ready to collapse. Noticing this, the ever-blunt Larry offered a hand to an old friend in obvious need.

"Man, that seems like a lot of boxes for one person..." He turned to his orange-haired friend, then looked back at me. "There are three strong men and a very smart, calculated fella who could help."

The blue-haired guy stepped in. "I'm sorry to butt into the conversation, but we wouldn't mind helping if you need it," he said, his eyes squinting in a way that indicated a smile.

"We can get to know each other better as well," the orange-haired man added with a friendly grin, while Larry nodded in agreement.

I hesitated for a moment, but it was a small town. If anything went wrong, I could run and get help pretty quickly. So, what was the harm?

"Sure thing, I'm (Y/N)."

They all smiled and introduced themselves as they stepped into the house. Their names were Todd Morrison, Neil Douglas, and Sal Fisher—all seniors in college, except for Larry, who "went wherever the wind took him," which currently meant working at a local guitar shop.

The time we spent unpacking was surprisingly enjoyable. It made me feel closer to them already. They seemed more like a family than just friends—more than I could say for myself.

By the time we finished, it was already dinner, and I still hadn't gone grocery shopping. But by some grace of fate, Todd suddenly spoke while placing a book on a shelf.

"I noticed you don't have any groceries, and it's getting dark. Would you like to eat at our house? We usually order pizza, but tonight I was planning on making some casserole."

I stood there blinking at the question. I had never really been invited somewhere just because someone genuinely wanted me there. Normally, it would be my sister's friends being forced to invite the sweet girl their parents felt sorry for.

Snapping back to reality, I quickly answered, "Yes, I'd love to come!"

And just like that, I found myself being led to the next-door house by four guys I had only just started speaking to.

Chapter Text

Almost as soon as I entered the shared house, Larry and Sal brought me to the living room couch to play Guitar Hero while Neil and Todd prepared the casserole together, following a recipe from a book Larry’s mom had put together for him. I sat on the couch, watching them battle to the death over the game. It felt surreal—watching the guy I used to play tag with now play video games with his college buddy. Larry suddenly looked at me, pulling me out of my thoughts. He sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, making me smile with comfort before he spoke.

“So, Y/N, how have you been all these years?”

I averted my gaze to the floor and spoke softly. “Well, my family and I are good,” I lied. “And I’ve been making it by as much as I can.” Another lie. I had been loaded from that band before I left.

Sal then sat down on the opposite side of Larry and asked, “What do you do for a living?” Well, Shit. That was genuinely the last question I wanted to answer, but there wasn’t a point in lying anymore, right?

“I was part of a small band named Dirtspine. I was the drum—”

Sal and Larry exchanged shocked looks before turning back to me. Larry spoke first. “Holy fuck knuckles, bro, Ash is gonna fucking FLIP.” I felt my cheeks heat up at their reactions. I never thought I was popular in my hometown for some band I started in high school. By the grace of whatever exists above in the sky, Todd walked in with plates and added some context to Larry’s words. “Ashley is one of our longtime friends. She’s a huge fan of the drummer.”

Sal grabbed a plate of casserole and continued, “What a small world. She’s always wanted a new drummer for our band since our old friend moved away.” Larry smirked as Sal walked off to the kitchen to eat alone for some reason. Then Larry gripped my shoulders and got on his knees. “My beautiful, amazing childhood friend, whom I love so much even though I didn’t text you for a bit—please help our band out. We have bass, guitar, and vocals. Now, we just need drums.”

Todd quickly scolded Larry by smacking the back of his head. “Quit being so touchy. You just met her again!” Neil's orotund laugh brings me a small relief before adding his advice to the mix. “You should try it, though. I think you and Ashley would get along great.” I smiled a little and thought about the pros and cons before murmuring, “Maybe.”

Larry beamed like this was the greatest news he’d gotten in years—or maybe even centuries—making me laugh. After dinner, I said my goodbyes, but Larry insisted on walking me home since it was dark. As we crossed the street, we talked about his weed collection, his love for bass, and how underrated it is (which is true). I always admired how Larry could make the longest conversations out of the smallest things since I hated coming up with topics to start conversations.

When we finally reached my door, he gave me a big hug. Once I closed the door behind me, I realized the hole I had just dug myself into. Now, it was a new day with plenty of things to get done. I had too many things to check off my list of things to do and very little time to get ready since my morning shower took longer than usual. I chose to wear a lace tank top layered with an off-the-shoulder Pantera band tee, flare jeans, black high-top Converse, my hair in a messy bun, and headphones around my neck.
The weather in Nockfell was average in the Twilight franchise. There was something comforting about that small-town, depressing feeling that nobody seemed to appreciate—until they had to move houses every other year. Stability brought me more comfort than anything. I grabbed my keys to my cozy fifth-gen Civic and made my way to the grocery store, which wasn’t far from my house.

The store wasn’t packed, which was perfect. Obviously, I spoke too soon as a girl with short brown hair, the most beautiful green eyes, and plump pink lips approached me with a nervous smile.

“Via? I’m a huge fan! I don’t want to bother you, but can I get a photo?”

My dreaded stage name—the one I had hoped not to hear—brought a fluttering feeling to my heart. I nodded immediately. She sounded so sweet and bubbly. As I wrapped an arm around her, I caught the scent of warm vanilla and cashmere, making me feel cozy and warm inside. She lifted her iPhone 14, focused the lens, and snapped a picture. Then, she quickly turned back to me and grinned eagerly.

“I also started a band because of you years ago! Maybe you should come see us play sometime. I-If you aren't busy with anything, of course!” Her words sounded familiar, but not enough to ring any bells—until I got home.

That’s when it hit me.

I would be auditioning for the band Larry and Sal had been talking about.

Now, I had to make an impression.

For a fan.

Chapter Text

It was finally time for the audition for the band Larry wouldn't stop bugging me about. Over the past few days, I had grown closer to him—late-night smoke sessions, Netflix marathons, and even sleepovers (though nothing sexual ever happened). Our bond was getting stronger, and those moments helped ease my tension tremendously.

"I could really use a blunt right now," I kept thinking as I drove to the studio. Instead, I had to clutch my drumsticks and walk in, prepared to audition for one of the most infamous bands in Nockfell—probably just to make a fool of myself.

I sighed, quickly opened the door, and stepped inside. My super baggy pants and fitted crop top made the place feel ten times hotter than it actually was. Five pairs of eyes met mine. In an instant, the girl from the grocery store jumped up from her barstool in shock and excitement, turning to Larry, who had a smug grin on his face.

"There is no fucking way!!"

Sal chuckled at her reaction.

"Yes way, Ash," Larry said, still grinning. "Me and your blue-haired boyfriend managed to get the real deal this time."

That made my cheeks burn a little as I anxiously waited for my next move in this so-called "interview."

Ashley instantly hugged Sal, kissing all over his mask. I never would've thought they were dating. I smiled and flipped Larry off.

"I'm not some object you found in a dumpster, you know?"

He smirked and slung an arm around my shoulders. "Yeah, you're the whole package, Via dear."

The nickname made me giggle as he led me toward the bar, where the rest of the band was sitting. On the table, a few lines of coke were neatly arranged. Larry quickly snorted one and immediately looked pumped.

"Hurry up and do a line if you want so we can get this practice started!" he cheered, already walking off to set up my drum set.

I sat there, hesitating, before Ash and Sal interrupted my thoughts.

"You know you don't have to if you don't want to," Ashley reassured me.

"Yeah, I don't do drugs like that since it fucks with my meds," Sal added.

I nodded in acknowledgment. Then, in a split-second decision, I thought, YOLO, and gave it a try.

I hesitated for a moment before snorting the line through my left nostril. Instantly, a rush of dopamine and energy surged through my body, and my previous anxiety disappeared. My heart pounded as I got up, and Sal and Ashley were quick to steady me, checking if I was okay. I eagerly nodded.

Larry pulled me from their grasp and sat me down at the drum set. Sal started speaking, but I couldn't focus. He turned on the speaker behind me.

"Go wild," he said.

Now he was speaking my language.

Instantly, I followed the rhythm of their song, letting my sticks move on their own. Each beat sent a burst of joy and excitement through me, my blood rushing as I played harder and harder. Ashley's voice was melodramatic and haunting, Sal's guitar was so good it could make me orgasm right then and there, and Larry's bass played a more critical role in the song than I had expected. By the time the song ended, my palms were red from the impact.

Ashley grinned ear to ear.

Larry laughed at me. "Damn, she's coked up!"

I smiled, unaware of my heavily dilated pupils.

The next song was different. This time, I had to make up a solo on the spot. This was my test. I had to make this my own.

The song started, and I played as I normally did. But when my solo came, an adrenaline rush pushed me to play even harder. Each thud of the drums echoed through the room, and my hands started to sting, my grip on the sticks loosening. My hair flew all over the place as I lost myself in the music.

Then, warmth spread across my cheeks. My hands burned. But I didn't care.

By the time the adrenaline wore off and the song ended, I finally noticed the consequences of my solo. My hands were bleeding, staining the drums and my face.

Ashley rushed over to clean the wound, Larry trailing behind her with a grin.

"Sal, did you see that? Via is fucking hardcore, dude."

Sal looked concerned but intrigued as he watched Ashley tend to my wounds, wincing for me. I finally stood up, my high fading, and walked outside for a cigarette.

The parking lot was dimly lit by the moon, the smoke from my cigarette curling into the air. I let myself sink into the calm, deep trance—until Sal walked out and sat next to me.

He looked a bit sweaty, sliding his mask up slightly before nodding toward my pack of cigarettes.

"Is it cool if I...?"

Without hesitation, I handed him one and leaned forward, lighting his with the tip of mine. As his cigarette burned, I noticed his ears turning pink as he avoided my gaze.

I didn't mind.

As my body relaxed, he finally spoke. "You know, you're full of surprises, Via. It's a little worrying."

I smirked, running my fingers through my hair. "I know. Everyone tells me that."

Taking a long drag, I exhaled the smoke into the night.

He hesitated, then asked, "Have you ever done coke before today?"

I wasn't sure how to answer.

Truthfully, I had been an addict when I joined Dirtspine. If I told him, he'd probably be worried. But why did I even care what some guy with a mask thought about me?

I quickly deflected. "Sal, I was a famous drummer. Do you really think I haven't?"

That made him laugh—a deep, honeyed sound that caught me off guard. My fingers went slack, and my cigarette fell to the ground.

Sal's eyes squinted when he smiled or laughed, but I never realized how striking they looked when he did. My cheeks burned.

Then, reality hit me.

He had a girlfriend. And she was gorgeous.

The way I was thinking was wrong. Frankly, it was fucked up. I wasn't about to be a homewrecker. I had played that game before, and it sucked.

Without another word, I stomped out my cigarette and walked back inside.

Larry and Ashley met me with gleaming eyes. Ashley took a deep breath before exclaiming, "VIA, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY OUR NEW DRUMMER!"

The night ended in celebration at Todd's house, with food and drinks.

It would take some time to get used to all of this.

But I didn't mind waiting.

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A/N:  AHHH IM SO PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER AND NEXT ONE WE WILL FINALLY GET SOME DEVELOPMENT GOING SO ENJOY MY ANGELS ❤️❤️

Chapter Text

Is it normal at this point in my life to be about a month into practices and coming back to a completely empty home, my only company being Larry bringing me acid and coke? I don't know what rabbit hole I got myself into, but now this coke thing has become habitual all over again. I knew this feeling all too well, yet I was too enervated to stop myself from making the same mistakes.

This was an insatiable desire, a need for the one thing that would always hold a significant place in my life and every decision. I always had an out—I could simply tell Larry that it wasn't good for me. But I just couldn't. I don't want to stop. I need it at this point in my life.

This addiction was something nobody would ever understand, and I don't want anyone to understand. Nobody deserves this life that I have. As much as I would like to dwell on these thoughts, the noise of knocking on my door intrudes into my mind.

I instantly recognize who the culprit is. I open the door with my toothy smile on display to greet Larry, Sal, and Ashley. The two brunettes give me hugs and a kiss on the cheek, while Sal simply says hi and gives me a side hug. Larry quickly makes himself at home while Ashley begins to declare their reason for the sudden visit, though I'm used to it by now.

"We wanted to visit to discuss venues and also to down some drinks," she says, then pulls me close and gives me a sweet grin before continuing. "I also just wanted to see your heavenly face."

My cheeks turn a bit red as I bashfully turn my gaze away from her, her face looking like it was crafted with love by Aphrodite herself.

"Ashley, you're too kind."

Our sweet, intimate moment is interrupted by Larry rummaging through my pantry and yelling out to me.

"Damn, Y/N, you have this big-ass house and you can't even afford some goddamn snacks around here?"

He dramatically groans, making me roll my eyes before answering.

"I don't buy fatty foods like chips and shit. I'd rather spend it on healthy food to make up for all the beer I drink."

He turns to me, disgusted.

"I can do the weed and drugs, but I draw the line at alcohol!"

At least the guy has his priorities straight?

That's what I think as he grabs some hummus and wheat crackers. The three of us walk to sit on the couch, where Sal has already made himself at home. His azure eyes meet mine for a moment before focusing his gaze on the goddess behind me.

We sit quietly, only hearing Larry's obnoxious chewing before he speaks with his mouth full of my food.

"Mm—We should play some Mario Kart."

He grabs the controller from my TV table and turns on my Switch. I think our plans for discussing venues are LONG gone.

"All right, but don't bitch and moan when I beat you," Ash says confidently, causing Sal to grace my ears with his chuckle.

We all settle on the couch and play about two games each. Every time, Ashley beats all of us while Larry and I battle it out for second place. Though Sal comes in last, he seems a bit preoccupied.

Larry pulls a blunt out from his back pocket before excusing himself to the back porch. After a bit of conversation with Ash—and the occasional input from Sal to show he's still listening—I decide to join him.

Outside, chills run down my spine, goosebumps forming on my bare arms as I plop down on the porch steps next to Larry. He lets out a puff of smoke before handing it to me. His hands are rough and stained with paint, but his arms are smooth and strong, veins occasionally popping out, more appearing on the back of his hand. His face is delicate, with an eyebrow piercing that complements his features, and his long nose isn't a bad trait—it creates a nice contrast to his overall appearance.

I smile at him before taking a hit from the blunt. His dark brown eyes meet my (E/C) ones, and even when I look away, his gaze never leaves its position.

The silence is loud enough to make me nervous, so I speak up.

"How's Lisa been?"

He lets out a sigh before answering.

"She's been good. She, um, got remarried a while ago... to Sal's dad."

My eyes widen as I turn to face him.

"Really?" I exclaim, and he laughs.

"Yeah, really."

He smiles at me, and gosh, his goofy smile really makes me feel less tense. Then he speaks again.

"How's your family been? I saw your sister in that movie recently."

Fuck. Now I'm tense again.

I hate them—especially that stuck-up, pretentious brat. Even if I wanted to give him an answer, I couldn't, since I ran away at eighteen.

Larry waits, taking a hit from the blunt I hand back to him.

"I don't know myself," I finally say. "I, um, ran away about four years ago."

He hesitates before speaking.

"Puchica, man, I didn't mean to intrude or anything—"

Quickly, I shake my hands to dismiss his worry.

"It's fine, Lar. But anyway, I forgot you're able to speak Spanish."

I chuckle as I stand up. His eyes never leave my figure as he puts out his blunt and stands up with me.

"Dude, my mom taught me, but she still scares me with her lectures. It's like she's speaking in a completely different language."

As we laugh at his joke, we make eye contact, and for a moment, my body feels warm despite the cold breeze. I see his eyes glisten for a second before he quickly turns and grabs my wrist, rushing toward my backyard door.

"Let's hurry inside, Y/N. My ass is about to fall off from this weather."

The rest of the evening is spent with Ash and me sharing drinks while playing Mario Kart with Sal and Larry. Eventually, everyone's energy runs low, and the sky becomes littered with stars. We settle on watching a movie before crashing in the guest rooms and couch.

Ash insists on sleeping in my bed, while Sal takes the guest room. Larry is too far gone, so he stays in his comfy spot on the couch with a blanket. I'm not going to argue with that, since the man is out like a light.

Ashley settles next to me, pulling me into a hug. She still smells as sweet and warm as the day we first met. She brushes her fingers through my hair and whispers into my ear.

"You know, Via, you are one of my first real girl friends. Every other girl thinks I'm either too friendly or trying to get with their boyfriends."

Her drunken admission makes me worry about how her past friendships must have been. How could anyone be mean to this angel holding onto me like I'm the last person on this planet?

I simply comfort her, hugging her tightly. She smiles into my neck before speaking once more.

"I love you, Via," she says sleepily, eyes closed.

This leaves me no choice but to close my eyes and respond back.

"I love you too, Ash."

And with that, we both drift off to sleep, drunkenly cradling each other for comfort and support.

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A/N: HI MY ANGELS!!! So I'm hoping to be consistent with posting once or twice on weekends but hopefully I can stick to it even with exam nearing, I appreciate all the support I've received on the series on Archive of our own and hopefully I'm able to build a fan base on Wattpad too!! If you guys want to support me on Wattpad my user is Marsphobicc

Chapter Text

A pounding headache and something putrid clawing its way up my throat are the first things I feel as I wake up. I barely make it to the bathroom before puking into the toilet bowl. The foul taste of beer and whatever else I drank last night burns my nose.

Ashley rushes in, quickly pulling my hair back to keep it out of the mess. Even though her sugary voice doesn't betray much concern, the way she rubs my back tells me she's worried. Another gag, another wave of nausea, and I finally finish.

I flush the toilet and rinse my mouth out, just as Larry walks in. I slump onto the comfy tile floor, he jumps slightly at my disheveled state—watery eyes, flushed face, lips pink and soft from wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. His gaze lingers on me as he crouches down to my level.

"Do you need anything?" he asks.

I shake my head, unable to form words. But Larry knows me too well.

"I'm not buying that bullshit for even a second," he mutters before standing up and heading to the kitchen.

Ashley grabs a hairbrush and starts fixing my tangled hair.

Larry returns with ibuprofen and a glass of water. The kindness feels foreign—people actually caring enough to take care of me when I can't do it myself. My throat tightens, my eyes sting, and I feel stupid for getting emotional over something so simple.

I take the pill from his warm grasp, swallowing it down with water. It barely helps, but it's bearable.

Larry notices my face and, for once, breaks the gaze.

Ashley stands up. "I'm gonna check on Sal. Let me know if you need me, Y/N."

I thank her as she heads outside, closing the door behind her. The second she's gone, Larry speaks, his raspy voice cutting through the silence.

"What's wrong, Y/N?"

I don't know how to answer. I just feel... loved, for the first time in a long time. And the realization only hits now.

I sigh softly before finally responding. "I'm okay, Larry. I'm just really happy you're here, ya know?"

I lift my gaze from the floor to meet his, and for a moment, nothing else exists. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes locked onto mine with an intensity that makes my breath hitch.

Then, he reaches out, brushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear, his touch lingering. His hand moves to my face, thumb trailing over my lip. He doesn't speak, but his desire is evident in the way he looks at me.

"I've missed you," he murmurs.

Before I can respond, an urgent knock sounds at the door.

"Sal needs to barf—I'm coming in!" Ashley's muffled voice calls from the other side.

We instantly pull away as Ashley rushes in, Sal's mask in hand.

Sal is covering his face, but I catch glimpses of scarred skin where his pale hands fail to hide it. It reminds me of a slab of marble in the most luxurious place—beautiful, raw, untouched.

Suddenly, my mind is no longer on Larry.

It's consumed by Sal.

I need to know more about him.

Larry and I step out to give Sal some privacy while Ashley stays to hold back his soft, azure hair. We settle onto the living room couch in silence. There's nothing to say.

But I see it—Larry's gaze still on me, like I'm the only person in the world.

Like no one else matters.

It's been a long time since I've felt this. What the hell is happening? I haven't been here long, and I'm already falling for the first guy I see? No, that's not it. Larry and I grew up together—shared baths as kids, had sleepovers, knew everything about each other.

But his eyes.

Unlike Sal's, I've seen Larry's up close, unguarded. And what I saw was pure, genuine love.

Maybe this is what I need.

Maybe it's time to move on from the past.

Larry looked at me, his lips parting like he wanted to say something—but then, at the last second, he shut down. The words never made it out.

I turned to him again, our eyes meeting, and for a moment, it was like neither of us knew what to do with the weight between us. So I did what I always did—I filled the silence.

We talked about old memories, about how we were just two kids trying to make up for everything we lacked growing up.

Larry had always been my solid rock, the one constant in my life. Maybe he still was. I couldn't ruin that with stupid, sappy feelings.

Then, his hand covered mine.

Everything in me froze.

When I looked up, that same pathetic, needy look was on his face again—the one that made my stomach twist into something I didn't want to name.

Suddenly, I pulled my hand away, retreating to my lap. My eyes darted elsewhere, landing just in time to see Ashley and Sal walking into the living room.

Sal looked rough. His disheveled blue hair stuck to his forehead, probably from hastily removing his mask. His body seemed weaker now, his sweater riding up just enough to expose glimpses of his stomach.

Then, his eyes met mine.

And for a second, my stomach turned soft.

I became hyper-aware of my breathing, of how warm my face felt under his gaze. His eyes were so vibrant, even with the shadows his mask cast over them. Ashley and Larry had seen all of him—every detail of his face—while I was left to wonder.

I wanted to see him.

To touch him.

To feel the warmth of his cheek on my hand as he kisses down my—

Before I could dwell on the thought, Larry shot up, grabbing Ashley and Sal with some half-assed excuse to leave my house.

And just like that, I was alone again.

No more distractions. No more noise to drown out the mess in my head.

My hangover was the least of my problems now.

I needed to get my shit together and stop letting my libido take control.

I needed to figure out what the hell I was feeling.

A/N: HI MY ANGELS SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER, IM KINDA STUMPED ON THE WAY THIS STORY IS GONNA GO BUT TRUST ME THE DRAMA IS GONNA START UP BUT YES SAL AND READER ARE GONNA BE END GAME

Chapter Text

It had been a week since I last saw Sal or the rest of the group outside of practice. Todd had booked us a gig at a local bar to help me get used to the area again. Honestly, it made me feel a bit more relaxed. My pencil tapped rhythmically against my notebook paper as I tried to write lyrics that made even the slightest bit of sense. But my lead never touched the paper.

I couldn't think straight.

What happened between me and Larry was *anything* but what good friends do... or was it? I couldn't tell anymore. I hadn't been touched in any way since *that night*, and even then, I wasn't sure what it really meant.

My phone suddenly rang, making me flinch. I reached for my pocket, but it wasn't there. Shit. I rushed downstairs, cursing myself for being so damn forgetful, and barely grabbed it before the call went to voicemail.

The moment I answered, Ashley's sweet voice filled the silence.

"Via!! How are you holding up, sweetie?"

Her voice never failed to make me smile. I quickly responded, "I'm good! How are you and Sal doing?"

Why did I even ask about him? I wasn't sure why he was the first thing to come out of my mouth. Ashley hadn't even mentioned him yet. As I pondered, she continued.

"We're good! I was calling because I wanted to invite you to a party tonight! Obviously, we're pregaming at your house."

I smiled at the idea and asked, "I assumed so. Who's driving tonight?"

She giggled. "Todd, of course."

I laughed, setting my phone down on the counter and putting it on speaker. "That's fine. Do you wanna get ready at my place?"

I could feel her eye roll even though I couldn't see her. "Duh. I'll be there in ten minutes. Toodles!!"

She sang the last word dramatically before hanging up, not even giving me a chance to say goodbye.

Ashley was so damn funny. Her satirical humor and easygoing nature made it clear why she naturally gravitated toward having mostly male friends.

I spent the next ten minutes doing my daily routine and applying a face mask to prep for my makeup. I wasn't sure why she was coming so early, but any time spent with Ashley was fun.

Three distinct knocks echoed from my door. I ran to answer it, greeted by the gorgeous brunette standing in front of me.

Ashley smiled and pulled me into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around my waist. I loved the way she hugged—it was full of warmth, like real, unfiltered affection.

She pulled away and welcomed herself inside, plopping onto my couch.

"Y/N, what did you cook today? Also, this couch is SO comfy!" she yelled.

I laughed as I prepared two bowls of oatmeal with strawberries and raspberries, letting them cool slightly on the counter.

"Just some oatmeal with fruit. Do you want coffee or something?"

"Apple juice," she mumbled, her voice muffled by the blankets she had cocooned herself in.

I grabbed a juice box from the fridge and *threw* it at her. The cold carton landed on her bare back, making her jolt and yelp.

"Via, it's cold!!"

I burst out laughing as she pouted at me, flipping me off.

Grinning, I set the bowls down on the coffee table. Ashley sat up, poking at her food before looking at me.

"This looks so good, what the hell?"

Smiling, she scarfed down her oatmeal, pausing occasionally to give me reassuring glances as if I needed confirmation it was delicious. I could already tell from the way her face lit up while eating.

Ashley was too adorable for her own good sometimes.

Maybe that's why Sal chose to date her.

Maybe I'd date her too, if I had a dick.

I started eating my own bowl, satisfied with how good it turned out.

"Is it cool if I put on the news? I like having background noise while I eat."

I nodded, and she grabbed the remote.

The TV clicked on, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was living in one of those *perfectly timed* TV moments.

*"Now rising to fame: fresh new actor from (movie name), Luciena L/N."*

An interview with my sister.

The last thing I needed to see.

Ashley turned to me. "Isn't that your sister?"

I stammered, "Um... yeah, that is."

Luciena.

She had always been the golden child—spoiled rotten by our parents, always belittling me, always making me feel less than. She was the complete opposite of Ashley. My sister brought out the worst in me. Ashley brought out the best parts of me—parts I didn't even know existed behind the walls I spent years building.

Suddenly, the TV became nothing but a blur as tears welled up in my eyes.

Ashley noticed immediately, quickly shutting it off and pulling me into her arms.

"It's okay," she repeated softly as I laid into her shoulder.

The words tumbled out before I could stop them. "It's not fair. She gets everything I've ever wanted. The shit I worked my ass off for every damn day."

It wasn't fair. It would never be fair.

I worked my ass off for years after I ran away. And now she had it all—effortlessly.

"How do I compete with that?" I muttered bitterly. "I'm not anything special. Why does being an L/N look so good on her and not on me?"

I hadn't meant to unload my emotions like this. But fuck, it was rough. I wasn't sobbing—no, I'd done enough of that in the past. But tears still trickled down my cheeks, making my skin itch as they dried.

Ashley shushed me, gently pulling back to cup my face in her hands, her touch full of compassion.

"You are so much more than her, Y/N. Because of what you went through. You deserve the world and more. And when we step back into the spotlight, the gang will make sure you get it. Okay?"

Her words cheered me up more than I wanted to admit.

She wiped away my tears, smiling sweetly. "Now, I'll take care of the dishes while you go shower."

She patted my shoulder and carried the dishes to the kitchen.

I sighed, making my way upstairs in my three-day-old pajama pants and tank top.

Damn. I really needed a shower.

I turned on the water, stepping inside, letting the steam and heat wash away my frustrations

After taking a much-needed shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and made my way to my room. Ashley was already inside, her back facing me as she rummaged through my closet. Various articles of clothing were clutched in her manicured hands as she meticulously sifted through my wardrobe.

She pulled out a black lace tank top and tossed it to me before moving on to my drawers.

"So, I assume I'm planning your outfit too?" I asked, slipping on my black bra before pulling the tank top over my head.

Ashley barely glanced up as she compared different pairs of blinged-out jean shorts. "Yeah, obviously. But are you sure you really want to go to this party? We could just stay in and watch a movie."

I smiled at her concern and shook my head. "Nah, I'll be okay."

She hummed in response before turning to me with a smirk. "Nice ass. Now put these shorts on with this belt to match."

I rolled my eyes at her teasing but took the clothes anyway, quickly fastening the belt once my shorts were on. Meanwhile, Ashley stripped down to her undergarments, unbothered, as I rummaged through my own wardrobe for something she could wear.

I settled on a purple striped long-sleeve, a dark denim skirt, and thigh-high socks. She eagerly grabbed them and slipped them on, then struck a playful pose.

"Am I cute?" she asked, puckering her lips in an exaggerated duck-face pose.

I laughed, shaking my head. "The cutest ever."

She grinned before pulling something from her pocket—a black choker adorned with a red amulet that dangled beautifully. Walking up behind me, she whispered, "Lift your hair."

I did as she asked, and she carefully fastened the choker around my neck, her fingers grazing my skin. Her voice was soft by my ear.

"Sal bought me it, but I don't really wear it, so I want you to have it."

Surprised, I turned to look at her. "Oh, Ashley, you don't have to—"

She quickly shushed me, pressing a manicured finger to my lips and shaking her head.

"Think of it as a friendship bracelet," she said with a wink before dashing out the door to grab her makeup from her car.

Now left alone with my thoughts, I sat down in front of my black vanity, staring at my reflection. My fingers curled around the red amulet.

I felt so fucking guilty

Ashley was so sweet to me, yet here I was, thirsting over her boyfriend like he was the last man on earth. And to make things worse, I couldn't even figure out what I felt for her boyfriend.

What the hell had I become?

Who even was I anymore?

My spiral was cut short by the sound of my door slamming open. Ashley bounced in, her bag of makeup swinging at her side.

"Via, pleaseee let me do your makeup! I've had a vision board for this forever."

I let out a breathy laugh and nodded. "Go for it."

Instantly, she got to work.

By the time she finished dolling up both our faces, there was a knock at the door. Ashley sprinted to open it, leaving me trailing behind her, hugging my exposed arms where my tank top didn't cover.

She flung the door open and jumped into Larry's arms and ignoring Sal who was next to them.

My heart clenched at the sight.

What's wrong with those two? It's not normally like that

But deep down, I knew it wasn't just that.

Something had to have happened, but what?

Ashley was upset at Sal for a mistake at one of our last practices, Ashley did complain a lot about the little things but what was there to be upset at?

She has a perfect family, a life full of love, and a boyfriend I never could attain.

I loved Ashley like the sister I never had, but how much could that love really compete with my growing attraction to Sal?

Larry's goofy grin snapped me from my thoughts as he gestured for me to sit between him and Sal.

I sighed internally. The earth just fucking hates me today I see.

Reluctantly, I made my way to the couch and sat between them as Ashley disappeared into the kitchen to grab drinks.

I could feel Larry's gaze burning into me, but I ignored it, focusing instead on small talk with Sal.

His hair was slightly damp, hanging down messily, probably from a shower not too long before. His mask was its usual colors. His body, though partially hidden, was perfectly toned beneath his black long-sleeve and baggy jeans. A silver chain dangled from his pocket.

We talked about our day, nothing deep, just casual conversation—until he stretched.

His shirt lifted just enough for me to catch a glimpse of the light blue hair trailing down his stomach.

So, the carpets DO match the drapes.

I quickly shook my head.

What the actual FUCK am I thinking?

My eyes flickered back to his face, and he was already looking at me—his sexy azure eyes squinting slightly in that way that let me know: Hey, I'm smiling at you, even if you can't see it.

It was his way of acknowledging me. Of letting me know he was listening.

Before I could say anything, Larry suddenly wrapped an arm around me, leaning in as he spoke.

"Hey, Sal, Ashley needs you in the kitchen," he said casually.

I barely registered Sal standing up before I noticed something—sometime during our conversation, Ashley had already set out drinks on the table.

I hadn't even realized.

Now, the air felt heavier.

Tense.

Without thinking, I grabbed a shot of vodka and downed it. Then another.

Larry leaned back, pulling out a freshly rolled blunt—his signature, of course.

And as the night officially began, I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself into.

Sal's pov

The way Y/N spoke so naturally about whatever happened in her day was admirable. She spoke with a confidence I could never have. Every time she talked, I saw her in a way no one else could possibly understand.
Larry snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, Sal, Ashley needs you in the kitchen," he said casually before leaning back and wrapping an arm around Y/N's delicate frame.

It wasn't any of my business.

Larry had mentioned he kinda liked her, but he was coming on a bit... strong, to say the least.

I made my way to the kitchen, where I found Ashley looking upset.

I instinctively reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, but she immediately pulled back.
"I'm sorry, not right now. I just need to talk to you," she said, her voice tense.

I nodded, waiting for her to continue. She licked her lips before speaking.

"What's been up with you? You've been so lost and distracted during practice. We have a gig coming up, and I can't let you drag us down."
I had to admit—I was distracted.
Not by Via. Not by Ashley. But by my own damn thoughts.

I was getting tired of this. Ashley always felt the need to point out every mistake I made, every slight error, like nothing I did was ever good enough. I tried to be the calm boyfriend, but it was hard when she was always bringing me down.

Before I could stop myself, the words spilled out.
"Ash, I can't keep doing this with you anymore. You criticize every damn move I make."
She looked taken aback. "I'm doing what's best for our—"
I cut her off.

"There is no our, Ashley. It's you. Only you. You're so caught up in this imaginary race that you forgot why we started this band in the first place."

Her eyes burned with frustration. "Don't make it seem like I'm controlling you. If you want to leave, then go."
I let out a sharp, humorless laugh, shaking my head at her audacity.

"I'm not leaving the band, Ashley. Maybe you need to stop sucking the fun out of everything we do."
She scoffed, her voice rising. "Oh, I take out the fun? Maybe I'd have fun if you'd stop eye-fucking Via every time we see her—"

I snapped.

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't fucking like her? You wanted her here, and now she is. What more do you want?"

Ashley scoffed and shoved me away when I stepped toward her, trying to de-escalate things.

"Don't fucking touch me," she spat. "And don't come home either."

I felt my blood boil.

"Oh yeah? Go ahead, pull that stunt again—it's all you ever do when I try to defend myself."

The room fell silent.

That's when I realized Larry and Via were staring.
And before I could process it, cold liquid hit my chest.
The sharp splash of beer soaked into my shirt, and the next thing I heard was Via's voice, sharp and distressed.
"Ashley!"

She threw beer at me.

After everything we'd been through, I couldn't even ask her to go easy on me without her losing it.
Ashley was screaming now, her body being pulled back by Y/N.

"WHO. THE. FUCK. DO. YOU. THINK. YOU. ARE?"

Her voice echoed in the silent house before continuing

"I'M DOING WHAT'S BEST FOR US SO WE DON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN THAT SHITSHOW OF AN APARTMENT!"

Something inside me snapped.

My hand grabbed the closest glass plate from the counter, and before I could think, I hurled it to the floor. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the room as I yelled back, my voice raw.

"YEAH?! AND WHEN THE FUCK DID YOUR LOVE FOR ME TAKE A BACKSEAT TO THAT GOAL?!"

Silence.

The only sound was my own heavy breathing and the distant thud of Larry's footsteps as he rushed toward me.

I had never once yelled at Ashley like that before. Not even in my worst moments.

It wasn't fair—none of it was. Everything was about what benefited her, never about how we felt.
When I glanced at Y/N, she looked shaken.
Her brows were furrowed, her eyes filled with confusion, concern—fear.

Larry placed a firm hand on my shoulder. I exhaled sharply, lowering my voice. "I'm calm. Just... get Gizmo and my clothes from the apartment."
Ashley stormed out the front door, Y/N following after her.

And for the first time, I wondered if there was even anything left to fix.

Y/N

Tonight had officially turned into a shitshow.

I spent most of it pulling Ashley away from crashing back onto Sal, her emotions spiraling out of control. She begged me to drive her to the party we had originally planned to go to, and even though I was hesitant, I gave in.

I wasn't thrilled about the idea—two girls, a little drunk, out alone. But it wouldn't be the first time.
Ashley sat in the passenger seat, sobbing into her knees. Her voice was small, broken.

"He's never yelled at me before... Am I really being that pushy?"

I didn't know what to say.

I knew she could be a lot sometimes, but I had never realized just how much until now. Maybe I was just used to it because of my old group—though, to be fair, none of us were exactly good people.

My phone buzzed, Larry's name flashing across the screen. I reached for it as soon as we hit a red light.
"Hey," he said, his tone unusually serious. "We're heading there now so you two aren't alone. I'll stick with Ashley, and you stay with Sal."

Fuck.

This was exactly the situation I wanted to avoid.

Chapter Text

With Ashley now tipsy and hellbent on getting back at Sal, my anxiety about this party only grew. I should have been excited, but instead, my stomach twisted in knots.

When I parked the car, that uneasy feeling only worsened.

Soft hands rubbed my back gently, a quiet voice whispering near my ear.

It was Ashley. She looked a bit more put together now, bending down to my level as she asked, "Are you gonna be okay with me and Larry being alone together?"

What?

Why was she asking me if I was okay with that?

I just nodded. She smiled, suddenly grabbing my hand and interlocking our fingers as we headed inside.

As we walked, my phone buzzed in the back pocket of my shorts. Ashley clung to the hem of the denim skirt I had lent her while I pulled out my phone. A text from Larry popped up on my screen:

Larry: Hey, send Ash to da kitchen. Sal should be waitin' for ya in da basement.

I sighed, then guided Ashley toward the kitchen.

Larry was already there, leaning casually against the counter.

His hair was down, slightly messy. His beard had grown in a bit, and his eyebrow piercing made him look ten times more attractive.

He wore a black Sanity Falls shirt, ripped black jeans, and combat boots. His wrists were covered in an assortment of bracelets and chains.

Ashley immediately lit up when she saw him, practically running into his arms. She waved at me as I walked away.

Now to find my buddy for the night—Sal Fisher, my best friend's hot ex.

I made my way down to the basement, where the crowd had thinned out. An empty couch sat in the corner, a familiar figure sitting with his back toward me.

I walked up and tapped his shoulder.

Sal turned to me, his blue eyes warm as he smiled through them, gesturing for me to sit beside him.

His hair was tied into a low, messy bun, making his earrings and industrial bars more visible. His mask was unclasped at the bottom, hanging slightly loose.

That's when it finally hit me—it wasn't technically a mask but a prosthetic.

Sal was full of mystery, and I wanted to unravel all of it.

He had changed into a compression shirt. I hadn't thought of him as muscular before, but now? It was obvious.

As I settled on the couch, sitting crisscrossed, his azure gaze met mine.

He was manspread, one arm resting on the couch's armrest while the other held a bong.

Sal was the first to speak.

"You look nice today, by the way," he said, pausing briefly before continuing. "Sorry I didn't tell you at the house. I would've if I had the opportunity."

I blinked at him, caught off guard.

Before I could respond, he handed me the bong, and I took it without hesitation, bringing it to my lips.

Sal's eyes locked onto mine, widening slightly before he shook his head and lit it up for me.

I inhaled deeply, holding it in before exhaling, watching the smoke drift from my lips.

I felt his eyes on me the entire time.

My cheeks flushed, but before I could process it, Sal took a hit himself. He lifted his mask slightly, letting the smoke trail through the holes of his prosthetic.

It was mesmerizing.

Once his mask was back in place, he turned to me with a smirk.

"Like what you see, Y/N?"

His tone was playful, but it still caught me off guard.

I stammered, "Oh, um—I didn't mean to stare! I was just zoning out—"

He cut me off with a laugh.

"I'm just messing with you, baby."

What the hell is going on with him?

Then, it clicked.

Sal once told me, "I don't do drugs like that since it fucks with my meds."

Yet here he was—red-eyed, laid-back, high as fuck.

I parted my lips, my voice coming out softer than expected. "Sal... how long have you been hitting the bong for?"

He thought for a moment before answering, "Shit, like... in the car on the way here."

I sighed, rubbing my temples. Great. I get to babysit stoned Sal tonight.

Before I could react, his arms suddenly wrapped around my waist, pulling me close.

His mask pressed against my neck.

"Sal?" I asked cautiously. "What's wrong?"

Sal had never been this affectionate with anyone before.

I didn't push him away because I knew.

I had a gut feeling that he wouldn't be getting this high if he was feeling okay.

He hesitated for a moment, as if debating whether or not to tell me.

Finally, he sighed and muttered against my skin, "I'm alright. Just kinda stressed out 'cause Ashley pretty much booted me from the apartment."

I hesitated before wrapping my arms around him. The crossfade of weed and vodka made my mind hazy, but I understood.

I knew what it was like—to have no home, to get kicked out, to get high just to cope.

I patted his back gently. "If you need a place to stay, you can crash at my place."

Sal pulled back slightly, his prosthetic mere inches from my face. His eyes widened.

"Are you sure? I can pay rent and stuff if you want—"

I shushed him, pressing a finger to the cold lips of his prosthetic.

"Don't worry about rent. Just send Ashley money for hers—she needs it more than I do."

I was fine financially.

Ashley being homeless, though? That would only create more chaos, and I did not need that right now.

Sal finally let go, resting his head on my lap, loosely holding his purple lighter—the same shade as the shirt I had lent Ashley.

This was all wrong.

Every part of it.

Yet I couldn't bring myself to leave him alone.

Especially not when his eyes kept roaming over me, flickering to my lips every so often as we passed the bong back and forth.

I had never been this high before.

I was more of a drinker. Coke came in as a close second.

Weed, though? It hit different.

Sal suddenly grabbed my wrist and leaned in. His breath was warm against my ear.

"Let's go to your car."

Giggling, he pulled me up, his blue hair swinging as we rushed outside. I struggled to keep up behind him.

Once inside, we settled in the back seat. The dim glow of my star lights flickered above us, setting the mood instantly.

Thanks, TikTok.

Sal's fingers grazed over mine as he glanced at me. His usually low voice dropped into a husky tone.

"I'm sorry for putting all of this onto you. You're amazing, and I feel like I'm just becoming a burden—"

I shut him down immediately.

"Hey. I'm perfectly fine with you crashing at my place. Besides... I've been lonely lately. Could use the company."

His eyes darkened.

"How lonely, hmm?" he murmured, tilting his head.

His fingers tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

My heart dropped to my ass.

Then, his hands found my waist.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly.

I swallowed. "Yeah. It is."

His fingers traced up and down my sides before he whispered,

"Close your eyes, Y/N. Now."

I obeyed instantly.

A moment later, I felt lips—his lips—press against mine.

They were a little chapped, but not in a way that turned me off. His hands roamed over my body as I threaded my fingers through his hair.

Then he pulled back, breathless.

"Shit. I should've asked first," he muttered, backing off.

A hoarse whisper fell from my lips.

"No. I want more, Sal."

His breath hitched.

He pulled me onto his lap, our lips crashing together again—until my phone rang.

Sal groaned, yanking it from my pocket.

"Ash 💕"

Well, fuck me silly.

I quickly answered the phone, still slightly breathless. On the other end, I heard a very drunk Ashley and an equally stoned Larry. Meanwhile, I had already sobered up—probably from practically fucking Sal Fisher.

Ashley slurred into the phone, "Heyyy!! I'm gonna get an Uber with Lar, so don't worry about me tonight!"

I exhaled, relieved. "That's okay, babes. Have fun, okay?"

She giggled happily. "I will! Thank you, honey!!" she sang, dragging out the last word before hanging up.

And just like that, it was back to me and Sal—alone, still tangled up in whatever the hell just happened between us.

That's when I realized—I had been sitting on him for the entire phone call.

Flustered, I tried to move off his lap, but before I could, he grabbed my hand, his grip gentle yet firm.

His voice was low, almost pleading.

"Look... we don't have to talk about this right now, but please don't pretend it didn't happen. Okay?"

His eyes looked almost... vulnerable.

I swallowed hard. He held my hand like he was afraid of what I might say.

I nodded, offering him a small smile to reassure him. I didn't need to say anything—he understood me in ways most people didn't.

Without another word, we crawled into the front seats of the car.

I settled into the driver's seat, turning on the radio. The first song that played was Streets by Doja Cat.

Just great.

Sal was buckled into the passenger seat, staring out the window, lost in thought.

I sighed, started the car, and pulled onto the road.

I could deal with the rest of this after a good night's sleep.

A/N: I HOPE YOU ENJOY AN EARLY POST BUT UNFORTUNATELY WILL NOT BE POSTING FOR THE REST OF THIS WEEK AS I HAVE A BUNCH OF IMPORTANT EVENTS COMING UP BUT DW NEXT WEEK IM BACK!

Chapter Text

As we headed inside my house, Sal decided to get some rest on the couch next to a fat ginger cat I'd never seen before. But he seemed trustworthy, so I let it slide. I went upstairs to get ready for bed and to get some much-needed rest.

The next morning, the sun seeped into my room from the gaps in the semi-closed blinds, casting light onto the walls and my body. My head wasn't hurting too badly when I woke up and headed downstairs. I hadn't noticed that the strap of my tank top had slipped down my shoulder as I walked past Sal, who was already up in the kitchen.

I rubbed my eyes and walked over to him, looking at what he was making. A variety of my things were scattered across the counter as he mixed together pancake batter, which smelled sweet like vanilla—simple, but enough to make me smile sleepily.

Sal was wearing the same clothes from last night, and his hair was pulled back into a messy bun, strands falling out, making him look even more natural. His sleeves exposed his toned arms as he picked up the bowl and poured bits of batter onto the pan. My eyes were stuck on him, and suddenly, he cleared his throat and spoke up.

"You hungry?"

His eyes met mine, and for a moment, they lingered on my lips before returning to my eyes. I stuttered a bit before answering.

"Yeah, a bit."

He chuckled softly. "Oh, I know you are. I bet that headache is killing you."

I smiled groggily and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiled back, resting his head on mine for a moment before continuing to cook.

No words were exchanged yet, I felt the fondness he felt towards me. No sex or anything and I was already attached to him like a leech.

My hands found their way around him as I leaned into his firm body. I could feel his chuckle against me as he continued to cook. After a while, we sat down at the table with plates of pancakes in front of me, but something about the plate felt off.

Suddenly, everything seemed wrong. Then, the sound of a door opening next to me snapped me awake. I was back in bed, but this time my head was throbbing, and I was on the floor next to my bed. Sal stood in the doorway, looking panicked. I looked up at him and groggily asked, "What's wrong?"

He looked down at me, his eyes filled not with love, but with guilt. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "Via, did we... did we sleep together last night?" He looked just like he had in my dream, except his expression now was barely visible. His question caught me off guard, and I stuttered before answering.

"N-no. Why?"

He sighed in relief, then sat down next to me on the floor. The sun was flooding in through my blinds, illuminating his beautiful azure eyes, which locked onto mine. He spoke again, resting his head against the side of my mattress. "We shouldn't be doing this. I just got out of a relationship with Ashley, and I think you should know, as her best friend, that..." He hesitated, and the pause only deepened the pain in my already aching chest. He sighed again and continued. "We were each other's firsts... everything."

Instantly, my heart sank into my chest. Not only had I kissed my best friend's ex, but also her first love? I really had dug my own grave, hadn't I? This was just another burden on top of the many I already carried. But one thing stood out clearly in my mind—maybe it was delusion or something else.

All I knew in that moment was that Sal Fisher was everything I ever wanted in a man. How lucky was Ash to be his first, I'd never know, but how I longed to be that person.

Looking back at him, I saw the sadness and worry in his eyes as he waited for me to say something. I had to—I had to—say something, anything to ease his concern. I grabbed his calloused fingers in mine, his gaze briefly falling on my lips before meeting my eyes.

"I know." I hesitated before speaking my mind. "But I don't want to stop now." I looked at him with pleading eyes, my heart beating out of my chest.

To my disappointment, he instantly shut it down. He pulled his hand away and said, "Via, this is over. I made a mistake, and now I've got to make it up to Ash." My eyes welled up. I felt like a kid who had been rejected by their childhood crush. But just as if rubbing salt on my already gaping wound, he continued, turning to leave, his hand on the doorframe, his back to me.

"I don't plan on making the same mistake again either."

And just like that, Sal walked out of the room. The ginger cat walked up to my lap and began kneading at my thighs. I hadn't realized the tears falling down my face and staining the blanket on my lap until the cat rubbed away against me with his body and purred.

Emotional support animal, I guess? Sal was full of surprises. He just fucked both of us over though. Ashley wanted to do something fun with the group this time—it was my plan, and my job was to "surprise" her. Meaning I had to plan a party for a bunch of coke-addicted people, me included. So that was fun.

Chapter Text

I was at the grocery store picking up the necessities for the grand party, run by yours truly, grabbing things from the aisle nearby by, loads of styrofoam cups, red solo cups, sodas, juices, and loads of liquor.

I’d definitely need it after this morning. While heading toward the snack aisle, I ran into my familiar friend, Larry, who was in the middle of grabbing a bag of Dill Pickle Lays.

The man had weird taste to match his weird look. I never really minded it though; it added character, at least more than he already had.

With his trademark smile, he spoke up. “Via! How’s it going?” Now, with a smile forming on my face, I walked up to him, making sure to be careful of our previous encounters.

“Hey Lar-bear, nothing much, just looking for some party favors”

He then began to stuff my cart full of different snacks and drinks, paying for it all with his own card. How the fuck does this man have so much money if he dresses like a hobo from Miami?

He grabbed some bags, while I carried a few others to my car. He refuses to let a girl do anything herself as that’s what Lisa taught him, even though she seems to do everything herself in those shitty old apartments.

Larry then sat down in my car with me. He had his own car, but he just wanted to chat and catch up. I hadn’t really realized just how much time had passed since.

In my own way, I kinda missed being around him. I hadn’t realized just how much I yearned for a friendship that wasn’t tainted by deception or betrayal done on my part. The way he still looked at me with love in his eyes made me feel sick. I knew deep down I would never love him the way he loved me.

Larry’s eyes were staring at me, full of devotion, while mines simply couldn’t reciprocate, too flooded at the thoughts of Sal.

Larry kept ranting on about various things, and it attracted me. I was too vulnerable and weak. Suddenly my lips crashed onto his.

My lips glided against his, lips rough and completely opposite of Sal’s. I don’t know what took over me at that exact moment, but now it was happening and it was my fault.

After a heated make-out session, Larry stared at me with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N, why are you crying?”

I suddenly felt wet drops on my lap, and my eyes were involuntarily shedding tears. I looked at him before shaking my head and wiping my tears.

“It’s nothing! Just having a rough day.”

Then, I tried to give him a weak smile; however, I should’ve known Larry wasn’t that stupid. The guy is, after all, my childhood best friend, and he knew better than anyone else.

He cupped my face and looked into my teary eyes with sincerity, concern that was unlike anything that anyone had ever given me in my 24 years of life. All this time I had spent existing yet here in this exact moment he fed into every little small crack of my heart.

Still it wasn’t enough for me to love him, for my heart still yearned for a guy I barely knew, the heart does work in mysterious ways doesn’t it?

I ask myself that as Larry spoke up, the awkward tension becoming apparent.

“I know you better than that, just talk to me about when you’re ready okay?”

I then nodded as he sighed and got out of my car, once the door closed I instantly went home. Sal looking up from the cat on his lap to see me, I was a complete mess. My hair was messy, makeup smeared, and worse of all bags instantly dropped on the floor as I sped walked to my room.

I couldn’t face him anytime soon, the party just HAD to be at my house though didn’t it?

Ashley texted me her outfit for the party about four hours later, as the time for the party ticked closer and closer I felt my chest getting tighter and tighter.

I wore a tight black long sleeve, with mini shorts, and my three year old dirty converse. I put on simple makeup with a bit of a heavy wing and called it a day. My hair was just worn down since I didn’t have to the energy to even attempt to look pretty.

Suddenly Todd rang my phone, as I quickly answered his voice instantly filled the room.

“Hey Via, Ashley wanted me to inform you that you and Sal have to carpool with them to Chug and Maples house”

Instantly I wanted to cry tears of joy, my voice full of cheer and smiles I answered

“That’s perfect! Thank you for telling me Todd, I’ll see you later!”

This was just what I needed, and now I could try to avoid Sal as much as possible

Now the set up was ready and I had my nice black sleeve on it was time to convince Sal that I was more than just a late night mistake, or just a failed attempt at a situationship.

As I was sitting next to Larry in the car, Sal and Ashley were very awkward to say the least. They didn’t even speak a word to each other, perfectly fine for me and Larry since we filled the car with Sanity Falls and laughter.

Once we made it to Chug and Maples house, Sal grabbed all the party supplies from out of the car trunk, and of course I needed to help him out

Grabbing a few bags of stuff, me and Sal quietly walked to the kitchen to set up all of the supplies, when a girl with grey hair and the most beautiful set of brown eyes I have ever seen.

She was a god damn emo icon, with a white affliction tee and miniskirt with two studded belts on top and knee high converse, made my jaw drop. She was carved by a damn Greek sculptor, I wasn’t complaining either, she spoke with an upbeat raspy voice.

“Hey! You’re Via right? Sal, Ashley, and Larry told us all about you.”

She then smiled before continuing

“You are just as beautiful as they described you to be, huh?”

Instantly my cheeks became flushed as she let out the cutest raspy laugh, I laughed as well and returned her smile, Sal on the other hand had flushed red cheeks and cowered away in another room after her comment

“It’s nice to meet you, and you are also so pretty!”

I replied back with the same eagerness and enthusiasm, I just have to be her friend now.

She instantly helped me finish setting up in the kitchen and I learned so much about her, she’s married to chug (he had to be a funny man then), and she went to high-school with the gang.

She also told me that Ashley and her used to listen to my band all the time, and that ash even had a Fanpage for me from her senior year.

I couldn’t help but be proud of myself for that accomplishment. In all of that time I had actual die hard fans who loved my music and now I was helping them get to their goals.

Maple is a very sweet woman, and I genuinely see why her and Ashley got so close.

The three of us all took so many drinks and drugs to point where Ashley could barely walk.

The poor girl was stuck on the couch, with me and Maple comforting her as she tripped out. And before we knew it though she was back up and running around.

By that point I had lost both girls and I was stuck in the middle of the now very crowded living room. Until I felt a sudden tug at my arm and I was instantly getting dragged out by none other than Sal Fisher.

He seemed distraught, he didn’t look fully there, but then again it might be the drugs fucking around with my sight. He opened the car door and slammed it shut after putting us both in the backseat.

He grabbed my arms and pulled me closer to him til we were only inches apart. His voice cracked a bit as he blurted out

“I saw ash making out with Larry in the bathroom”

Instantly my arms opened up and he fell into my embrace, I gently brushed the pieces of his hair that wasn’t under the straps of his prosthetic as he held onto me like I was a savior. I gently whispered that it would be okay and then moved his head to rest on top of my lap. He seemed so weak and vulnerable, he looked at me and gosh his teary eyes met mines and before I knew it, he unclamped his straps and covered my eyes before letting the cold prosthetic fall onto my lap.

His lips gently met mines for a sweet kiss. A simple kiss and that was enough to make me crazy, his lips then leaned in again before stopping

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

“Yes, of course”

Instantly they met mines again, this time it was hungry and rough. I had barely went through a day of yearning for him to suddenly be all over me again. His lips moving down my jawline to my neck.

My soft moan echoed in the car as he sucked and licked the sensitive crook of my neck as his other hand ran up and down the curves of my waist.

“Why do you make me feel like this, Y/N”

He then pulled my body down onto him, my lower half meeting his, and again he was rock solid. He spoke up again with a needy tone

“You wore these today, cause you knew that I’m still a man at the end of the day, huh?”

My cheeks flushed as he continued

“These tiny ass shorts, just enough for me to see those panties of yours when you bend over”

Suddenly I felt his unoccupied hand grab a random towel from the car and draped it over my eyes.

My eyes could barely see anything except for the street lights peeking into from the windows and illuminating the fabric on top of my face. Sal meanwhile could barely control himself, prodding and poking at my breast and kissing down my tummy as his breath came out chopped and heavy.

Sal made his way down and unbuckled my pants, my hips moving up to make his mission a bit easier. He licked a strip down between my folds, the fabric of my cotton panties taking away some of the sensation before he removed them with his teeth.

His pants felt warm and soft on my clit as his tongue began toying with it, my moans coming out loud as my hands reached for his face. I reached out and caressed his cheek, the jaw wasn’t there anymore but still in my mind this man was the most beautiful person to ever exist on this earth.

He then slid two fingers into my pussy as he continued to eat me out, my thighs squeezing his face as I began to thrust onto his face due to the overwhelming sensation.

“look at you Y/N, such a fucking slut for my mouth”

I whined a bit due to lack of sensation, as I nodded my head quickly. All I wanted was for more and to enjoy it while it lasts.

“Nobody else has touched you like this huh? Only I can make you this much a slut”

He then continued at an ungodly pace, making me see pure bliss and joy as my loud moans rushed out from my mouth. The noises I made sounding like it came shitty pornos where they fake it for effect. Except this wasn’t fake, Sal has such an expertise with his tongue and hands it genuinely surprised.

The callous on his fingers really added to how good he felt inside of me, his other hand now moving towards my thigh to squeeze it tightly.

I then grabbed a bunch of his hair and thrusted one last time, making me cum on his mouth as I rode out my orgasm.

Just as I was about to get up, I felt him push me back down and then speak up

“I never said I was fucking done with you”

Instantly I laid there ready for whatever was coming next, I really had no shame huh?

Then he flipped me over, my bare ass now facing him as he leaned against my body to whisper in my ear.

“You don’t mind taking a plan b do you?”

Once I shook my head, I heard that bastard smile as he then unbuckled his belt and took off his pants.

Now with his cock out, he pressed his tip right near my entrance.

“Such a slut, aren’t you. Those two could walk to car and see us anytime, but you just don’t fucking care do you?’

I quickly shook my head and let out a weak and submissive “No” which made him grin again.

Then his cock entered without warning making me jerk back and cry out in a bit of pain but mostly satisfaction. Sal then moaned out himself as his cock went in the all the way.

“You’re so tight, you love feeling me stretch out your tight pussy”

I moaned out again as one hand grabbed the back of my throat and the other harshly smacked my ass.

“I love to hear you make those noises it turns me on so much”

Those words coming out with a groan as he then began to thrust into me, each slap making his balls smack my clit as he kept his pace.

“you’re such a slut for me Y/n, god I love it”

His hand then smacked again as he kept thrusting me down onto his cock by my neck, my moans coming out choked as I felt my orgasm coming up again, he then moved the hand he was using to smack my ass to toy with my nipples.

“Nobody could make you moan whine and beg for me like I can right?”

He then squeezed my nipple harshly, making me cry out in pain

“No Sal, only you!”

Tears began threating to poke out, then he yanked me back against his body as he kept thrusting into roughly.

“you feel me so deeply, don’t you baby?”

He cooed into my ear as he kept fucking me at an unforgiving pace that made me see stars.

“Yes Sal, just make me cum please, I’ll do anything!”

I cried out as he then licked the crook of my neck and then moved his hands from my nipples to my clit, instantly making me thrust on him.

As my orgasm kept drawing in closer, his mouth relentlessly kissed and licked on my neck.

His moans now rigid and whiny as his thrust became sloppy and deeper. As we both cried out, his hot cum spilled deep inside me and filled me up. My orgasm coming not long after.

We both then quickly cleaned up and moved to the front seats, now we had to clear up this upcoming tension from our hookup.

How can you even really talk about this, the reality now hitting in that I just fucked my best friends ex boyfriend in my childhood friends car.

Chapter Text

Sal and I now sat in the front seats. He was clutching the steering wheel like his life depended on it, and I was gripping the seatbelt, both of us staring out at the dark street. The only things in sight were the empty cars of people inside enjoying the party. I wish I could’ve been in there with them, especially now that I’d made it very difficult to redeem myself.

If I had never actually had sex with Sal, this would’ve been a different story—because kissing, making out, and even handplay are better than full-on intercourse. I think Sal was finally coming to his senses too; his voice pulled me out of my thoughts to focus on a solution for our newfound conflict.

“Via, I don’t think I wanna stop anymore,” Sal’s voice came out shaky and quiet. My head shot to the side, eyeing his mask to see if he was mad—or high.

All I could utter was a confused, weak, “…What?”

A frustrated groan escaped his lips as he grabbed my hand and placed it on the gearstick, not letting go as he continued.

“Via, I just need you to know that I don’t wanna stop what we have going on right now.”

My (e/c) eyes met his cerulean ones, and for the first time, he seemed like a different person—as if he only wanted to hurt me.

I was in shock, my cheeks flushing as his gaze softened into something more pleading. His grip tightened.

“I lied when I said we couldn’t continue this anymore, Y/N.”

Then my grip tightened on the gear stick, and words spilled from my mouth before I could stop them.

“No, Sal. You can’t say that now.”

He gently cupped my cheek, still pleading.

“Via, please. You can’t deny what we have. I messed up. And it’s clear to me now—I don’t want Ash.”

He pulled me in closer, our faces now only an inch apart.

“I want all of you. I want Via, and I want Y/N. I want all of you, good or bad.”

I pushed him away, shaking my head. My voice came out shaky and hoarse.

“This is just cruel, Sal. You don’t mean this at all. You’re just hurt and drunk. And so am I.”

He looked at me with sadness, but I knew it was true. I was hurt that Ash made out with Larry—and so was Sal.

All I could do was look down at my lap, mouth unable to form words. My breath came out shaky, weak, and broken. It should’ve hurt him more, considering Larry is his stepbrother. And yet, here was Sal, begging his brother’s crush to be with him instead.

“Via, don’t say that. I don’t love her, I love—”

Now I was pissed. If you love someone, you don’t say you don’t want a relationship. At first, I had been fine with this because it was the only and closest way to call him mine. But he didn’t want to be mine—he just wanted something to fill the void of not being wanted by Ashley.

I felt tears well up, but I wasn’t going to let them fall—not in front of him. I had to show him he didn’t affect me the way he thought he did. I spoke with a cold tone and expression that contradicted my watery eyes.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Sal!”

I ripped my hands from his and jabbed a finger into his chest.

“You don’t get to have revenge sex with me and then try this shit. Maybe it worked on Ashley, but—”

He yelled, voice muffled by his mask.

“BUT WHA—”

Mine came out louder.

“BUT IT WON’T FUCKING WORK ON ME!”

Silence followed. Then I forced out, in a pathetically weak voice:

“Let’s just go to the store after we drop them off. We need to get the Plan B anyway.”

He sighed and slammed the horn in frustration before replying, weakly:

“Alright. I’ll go get them.”

He stepped out of the car to retrieve Ashley and Larry, leaving me alone to remember the group I wanted to forget.

Two years ago, during the summer, I was in Dirtspine with my friends from middle school: Solara, Corbin, and Lucien. We went from rock bottom in the big city to riches on our own—and like some shitty happy movie, it seemed like we’d be friends till our last breath. We even made an album about it. But no group comes without conflict.

Solara was our star and singer—long jet-black hair, pale skin with a few tattoos, and striking blue eyes that could hypnotize anyone. I was the drummer. Even if I didn’t have Sol’s looks, my talent made up for it. Corbin was our heartthrob bassist and songwriter. Thick brows, semi-long brown hair styled into curtain bangs, and an attractive smile that froze any girl. Lucien had long dirty-blond hair, a big nose, and features that mirrored Pete Steele. His guitar skills added to the heat that drew me closer to him.

But, like Sal Fisher, he was unattainable—because of Solara.

I’d had a crush on Lucien since middle school. Solara knew it. So when they came out as a couple, I was crushed. I stayed home and suffered quietly. Solara was everything I wanted to be: pretty, popular, loved—by everyone. Her parents. Her friends. Her fans. Even my crush.

I sounded like a brat in my head screaming, It’s not fair! But… wasn’t it true?

Everything changed one night. Lucien and I were on shrooms and ended up fucking on Solara’s couch while she and Corbin were passed out.

Words and muffled moans filled the steamy air as he came inside me. We knew the consequences—and yet, afterward, he whispered the same familiar words:

“Via, I don’t love her. I love you. I always have. But you just seemed so unattainable.”

Those words shattered me—and somehow made me feel wanted. Until a pregnancy test changed everything. I ended up pregnant. I thought he’d care if he really loved me. Instead, he threw $5,000 at me.

“Get rid of it. Solara can’t find out about our mistake.”

Now I’m scared I’ll end up like that miserable 19-year-old again—stuck in a band with people who never truly cared, with nowhere else to go.

But I can’t let two guys derail me. I have to prove to Lucien—and everyone—that I, Y/N L/N, made it. And I did it better than they ever could.

The car ride home was awkward, to say the least. Ash was drunk and trying to discreetly touch Larry in the backseat. Larry, however, looked like he was in another dimension—frozen, guilt written all over his face when our eyes met. Sal was driving carefully since he hadn’t smoked much and had left his meds at the apartment. I was numb. Larry’s gaze didn’t faze me anymore. It never really stayed on me anyway.

After dropping off Ash and Larry, we went to the nearby pharmacy next to a smoke shop. Sal went to the pharmacy. I went into the smoke shop and grabbed two Pulse Geek Bars—Juicy Peach Ice and White Gummy Ice. After tonight, I needed them. I’d quit nic last year, but this called for it. I ripped the box open and removed the plastic nib on the vape.

Sal came out carrying a bag with a six-pack of Michelob Ultra—and the Plan B. He looked worn out. I looked like I’d been through hell. Truthfully, we both had.

On the drive back, I puffed on the vape while the radio hummed softly. Sal stayed silent, not daring to disturb the rare peace. He made a quick stop at the Plug’s house—Philip. A chill dude who sold to everyone in the band except me obviously.

Philip smiled at Sal’s window and waved at me. “So this is the little beauty of a drummer you guys scored, huh?”

Sal chuckled. “Via. She used to drum for that old band Dirtspine.”

Just hearing the name made me shiver.

Philip noticed the vape in my hand. “You know those aren’t that good, right? You should get a better one.”

I giggled and hid it. “I know. I just don’t wanna get too caught up in it.”

He laughed, let us go. The ride back was even quieter—no radio now, just the occasional hiss from my vape.

When we got home, Sal opened the door for me and handed me the Plan B. He grabbed a beer and got me a glass of water. I took the pill, sat on the couch, hit my vape, and watched TV until I passed out.

Sal’s POV

I never thought I’d be in this position. After Dad lost Mom, he drank a lot, so I hated alcohol. After a while, it became something for parties or celebrations after good band practices, but now? I’m standing in Via’s kitchen, drinking a six-pack alone, questioning every decision I’ve ever made. Especially dating Ashley.

She used to be sweet. Innocent. Had that same look Via gives me when she’s high. But once we formed the band, she changed—demanding, selfish, obsessed with publicity. Now she’s seeing Larry behind my back, even after saying she wanted to make things work.

It hurts. Every part of it. And the lack of my meds makes it worse. I’m spiraling.

Via’s the only one who keeps me sane. Her… and Gizmo.

Just then, Gizmo rubbed against my leg and meowed—like he knew I needed to lie down. I made my way to the couch and saw her fast asleep, vape in hand, face smushed into her arm. She was shivering and drooling a little. It was adorable.

I grabbed her blanket from her room—everything in there screamed her. From the bedsheets and walls covered in decorations chosen by her, to the candles in her room that smelled like a warm, fresh apple pie my mom made sitting right by the open window, the smell eventually hitting Dad's and my nose outside in the backyard. Eventually I headed back down and I laid the blanket over her gently, settling on the floor right by her.

Every sacrifice I make for her could never compare to the ones she’s already made for me.

Chapter Text

I woke up to sunlight hitting my face and soft snoring below me. Wiping sweat off my arm, I got up—only for my feet to land lightly on Sal’s sleeping body. Gently, I stepped over him and made my way to the kitchen, where Gizmo meowed urgently. His food bowl was empty, which made me laugh; he meowed like he hadn’t eaten in days.

After filling his bowl, I started making breakfast—just two small bowls of cut-up mango and strawberries. Something simple to go easy on the hangover Sal was definitely going to have. Mine wasn’t as bad, but still lingered. Of course, my quiet morning was interrupted by my phone ringing. As I reached for it on the coffee table—right where Sal was still asleep—I saw Ashley was calling.

I quickly headed upstairs and answered the call. Her sweet, hoarse voice filled my ears, bringing both anxiety and comfort.

“Hi, my love! How did you enjoy the party?”

I had to lie. I couldn’t tell her I hated it—because I saw her with Larry. I didn’t really care about Larry, but I cared that he hurt Sal.

“Hey, I had a lot of fun! You got shit-faced though. Maple and I had to take care of you for a bit.”

She let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I did sober up after a while!”

We talked for a while—about when the next party would be, the upcoming festival gig in a more populated town, and how she wanted everything to be “perfect.” That meant Larry would be handling plans—so, coke and molly were definitely going to be there. God, I needed something stronger than shitty weed and nicotine in Nockfell.

Still, I had my doubts. I hadn’t even processed what was going on with the group. God only knows how awkward it’s going to be between Sal and Larry. I think Larry knew Sal saw him. The guilty look he gave me said it all.

Ashley, of course, had no clue. If we still had practice, maybe the acid would help us relax into it. After hanging up, I went downstairs to finally eat my breakfast. Sal stood there in the same clothes as yesterday: a black hoodie, a white shirt peeking out from underneath, and acid-washed baggy jeans.

He was eating the plate I left for him, and we stood awkwardly side by side, eating the same thing. He looked like he wanted to say something, so I spoke up first.

“What’s up? You look like you’re dying to talk to me.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “I’m that obvious, huh?”

I chuckled and nodded, smiling.

We stood in silence for a bit before he continued, “I, um… wanted to ask if we’re still having band practice or not?”

I couldn’t help but blush—he still looked so goddamn good. I blame his parents for that.

“Yeah, we are. Hope the acid helps make it bearable.”

He laughed and raised his glass of water in response before taking a sip.

“You know we’re gonna have a new practice room, right? Neil told me and Todd yesterday.”

I was surprised, but not shocked. It would be nice to have our own place instead of constantly renting. But still, it made me wonder—why the change? They seemed attached to the old spot.

Sal pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Hey, could you tag along while I run a few errands?”

I nodded without thinking. The idea of us being alone again in the hookup car didn’t hit me until I was upstairs. The cinnamon and apple smell in my room brought me back to calm. I wore a long, tight gray tank top with lace straps, layered with a black graphic tee, regular dark blue jeans, and brown vintage chunky-soled Martins. Standing in front of my mirror, I noticed just how much weight I had lost. It looked bad. Eyebags prominent, posture off, and a general shift in my demeanor.

My world had become drugs, sex, and binge drinking. I wasn’t taking care of myself. Maybe I was just too depressed to meet anyone’s eyes. Or maybe I was just getting lazy. I knew I needed to get my shit together—just not right now. I grabbed my vape and headed to the car.

He reeked of last night’s party. His hair was messy, but in a charming way. At red lights, he drummed lightly on the steering wheel, smiling to himself.

Our first stop was the apartment. Ashley wasn’t home when he brought me up to an apartment room. He grabbed a bag full of various meds, a container with prosthetic eyes, and a few clothes and posters.

He carefully locked the door behind him. We didn’t want Ash seeing us together—it would be too obvious. Next, we went to a gray building I didn’t recognize. Sal told me to wait in the car for a surprise. He came back 20-30 minutes later with a small gray carrier and handed it to me, a sparkle in his eyes.

Inside was a fluffy Siamese kitten with wide blue eyes. The moment I saw her, I felt something inside me light up.

“Sal, you didn’t have to do this! I don’t even have stuff to—”

“Don’t worry,” he interrupted, grinning. “I got it. You looked like you needed a friend.”

She meowed happily as I held her up.

“She needed one too. I saw her at the shelter last week. She just screamed your name.”

“Thanks, Sal.”

He blushed, ears turning red, and looked away.

“You don’t have to thank me. Let’s just go get her the basics.”

“The basics” were an understatement. I went on a full-on shopping spree with my card: toys, food, a collar with an empty tag, and even a cat tree. I wasn’t sure what to name her yet, so we called her Jane Doe for now.

Back at the house, Sal brought everything in while I introduced Jane Doe to Gizmo. He lazily “played” with her—really just sitting there while she darted around and climbed on him.

Sal chuckled as he came in to set up the cat tree. He patted Gizmo’s head and said, “You really haven’t changed, Gizmo.”

Gizmo meowed back and went about his business. Sal looked at me hunched over on the floor, playing with Jane Doe, his eyes crinkled with a quiet smile.

“She’s so much more excited now. I knew you two would get along.”

I chuckled. “I guess you know me best.”

We eventually settled into our own routines. Sal moved into the guest room by the living room TV—far enough for us to live normally, but I knew this wouldn’t be “just that.”

That week was rough. Endless trips, bandages on our hands—mine and Sal’s. Ashley was tweaking. Turns out she’d been popping large amounts of Adderall at home, mixing it with the acid we were doing. Everyone was worried—especially Todd and me. But she powered through, and our big performance was a hit. Our music saw a steady rise in streams, and we even got mentioned in a few articles.

Now it was party time again—not that any of us had the energy. But we were doing it for Ashley. Neil rented out a club for us and threw a rave. Neon everything, blacklights, and a DJ spinning until dawn. It was a celebration of her happiness.

Ashley stood in my living room holding the cat. She wore a bright turquoise shirt, black jean shorts, and two checkered belts—one pink, one blue—with black UGG boots. Her figure had gotten skinnier, like mine. These drugs were eating us alive.

Sal had on a vintage blue Sonic shirt with jorts and some shoes I didn’t recognize. Larry went all out—chunky belts, a faded Pikachu tee, ripped black skinny jeans, and Converse.

From upstairs, I heard Ashley yell while I was rummaging for anything remotely 2010s scene-core. I nearly gave up until I found an old pink DOMO shirt buried in the depths of my closet. I threw it on with a denim mini skirt, black and pink striped tights I’d bought for this, and my beat-up Converse.

After 30 boring minutes of Ashley doing my makeup while the guys pre-gamed, we finally hit the road. The car was loud—music blasting, Larry and Sal singing in the backseat while I drove. Ashley seemed happy, for once. I just hoped she didn’t overdo it again—but let’s be real, the chances were slim.

She scrolled on her phone, then turned toward me, concern written all over her face.

“Via, are you okay? You seem a bit out of it.”

I smiled through it, focused on the road. “I’m fine! I’ll be even better with some Bacardi and coke.”

She laughed and joined the guys in singing some random rock band I didn’t know. We finally pulled up. The boys stumbled out. Ashley ran to Maple, who waited outside with the rest of the group.

Todd waved, Maple smiled. We exchanged small talk before heading inside to pounding bass and blacklights lighting up our outfits. I clutched my small bag, feeling self-conscious about my skirt riding up. Sal coughed behind me and handed me a jacket—black with white designs—bashfully.

“I saw your skirt riding up earlier and brought this just in case,” he said, leaning close to my ear over the music.

His parents raised him right. I smiled, tied it around my waist, and headed deeper into the crowd. To the left, people played beer pong. To the right, booth tables and a buffet of drugs. Neil and Todd sat drinking bourbon.

I didn’t know where to start until someone tugged my arm.

“Travis?!”

He grinned. “Hey! I thought you fucking died.”

Last time I saw him, he was a snobby church boy who snitched on me and Larry. His dad was the pastor at the church my folks attended. We all knew the dark rumors, but no one dared say anything against the Phelps family.

We laughed. Over the music, I shouted, “What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at church with your wife and kids?”

“Me? A wife? Hell no.”

He sipped from his red Solo cup. I pointed at it, asking for a sip. He handed it to me, and I took a big gulp. I instantly regretted it—pure Tito’s. My throat burned and I started coughing.

“Shit, forgot to tell you that was straight vodka.”

We chatted a while longer. He seemed… different. His hair was a bleached blonde his father would’ve hated. We’d both changed since church. Or at least he had. I was barely scraping by.

Sal joined us, made Travis stumble over his words a bit, and invited us to sit with him and Larry. We joined the group: Larry, Chug, Todd, and Ashley. Ashley grinned and patted the spot beside her. I sat. Travis squeezed in beside Todd and Sal.

They reminisced about high school. I mostly listened.

Then Ashley, bubbly and buzzed, dropped a bomb.

“So, Sal—when were you gonna tell Via about your sexcapade with Travis?”

Everyone choked. Travis went bright red. Larry burst out laughing. Sal stammered.

“Um, yeah… we were… friends with benefits?” he said, turning to Travis, who nodded.

“Yeah, while me and Ash were on a break.”

I didn’t expect it, but honestly? It made sense.

I smiled and chimed in, “I’ve had some women of my own on tour. Who cares?”

Everyone cheered. We drank, snorted lines, and partied. Ashley and Larry disappeared. The others drifted off.

That left me and Sal. Alone. Upset.

Sal downed another shot and reached for my hand resting near the hookah pipe. His eyes—pleading. I wanted to say no. I should have. But I didn’t.

Everything blurred after that. I took another hit. Pulled Sal with me.

Next thing I knew, I was banging on the stall door. Ashley and Larry were inside. Sal tried to pull me back, calm me down. But it was too late. My breath was hot, short. The drugs, booze, nicotine—it wasn’t mixing well.

Ashley and Larry emerged, guilt on both their faces—especially hers.

“I—I can explain,” Ashley sobbed. “I know about you and Larry and I’m so sorry.”

Sal’s face crumpled. I turned to him, horrified. How did she know?

“There wasn’t even chemistry there,” I snapped. “We made out once. That doesn’t make me your girlfriend, Ash.”

Then to her: “And even if it did mean something to you, you still went and fucked him.”

Sal suddenly shouted, his fist slamming the stall door.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk?”

“And you are too?” I shot back.

Silence.

The others had no clue what we meant. Sal scoffed. “You’re fucking insane, Via. I’ve been nothing but nice since you joined and replaced our drummer. Get a grip. You’re not the victim here.”

Tears stung my eyes.

“Maybe I’m not the drummer. Or Ash. Or anyone you know. But I’m here. You invited me. Ashley did too. And we made it bigger than ever—who do you have to thank for that?”

I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten until he pushed me away. Hard. Ashley and Larry pulled me back. The rest of the group rushed in to cool us off.

Todd and Neil brought me outside. Gave me soda. Fanned me. I was a mess—makeup smeared, sobbing.

Todd’s words were sharp but true. “What happens with this group… it’s better not to intervene. You’re part of the group—we see it. But Sal? Probably doesn’t.”

Neil added, “He doesn’t mean half of what he says, even sober. But he’s different with you.”

I smiled weakly, hugged him. “Thanks, Neil. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys.”

He chuckled. “Nah, girl. Thank you for getting us here.”

“The basics” were an understatement. I went on a full-on shopping spree with my card: toys, food, a collar with an empty tag, and even a cat tree. I wasn’t sure what to name her yet, so we called her Jane Doe for now.

Back at the house, Sal brought everything in while I introduced Jane Doe to Gizmo. He lazily “played” with her—really just sitting there while she darted around and climbed on him.

Sal chuckled as he came in to set up the cat tree. He patted Gizmo’s head and said, “You really haven’t changed, Gizmo.”

Gizmo meowed back and went about his business. Sal looked at me hunched over on the floor, playing with Jane Doe, his eyes crinkled with a quiet smile.

“She’s so much more excited now. I knew you two would get along.”

I chuckled. “I guess you know me best.”

We eventually settled into our own routines. Sal moved into the guest room by the living room TV—far enough for us to live normally, but I knew this wouldn’t be “just that.”

That week was rough. Endless trips, bandages on our hands—mine and Sal’s. Ashley was tweaking. Turns out she’d been popping large amounts of Adderall at home, mixing it with the acid we were doing. Everyone was worried—especially Todd and me. But she powered through, and our big performance was a hit. Our music saw a steady rise in streams, and we even got mentioned in a few articles.

Now it was party time again—not that any of us had the energy. But we were doing it for Ashley. Neil rented out a club for us and threw a rave. Neon everything, blacklights, and a DJ spinning until dawn. It was a celebration of her happiness.

Ashley stood in my living room holding the cat. She wore a bright turquoise shirt, black jean shorts, and two checkered belts—one pink, one blue—with black UGG boots. Her figure had gotten skinnier, like mine. These drugs were eating us alive.

Sal had on a vintage blue Sonic shirt with jorts and some shoes I didn’t recognize. Larry went all out—chunky belts, a faded Pikachu tee, ripped black skinny jeans, and Converse.

From upstairs, I heard Ashley yell while I was rummaging for anything remotely 2010s scene-core. I nearly gave up until I found an old pink DOMO shirt buried in the depths of my closet. I threw it on with a denim mini skirt, black and pink striped tights I’d bought for this, and my beat-up Converse.

After 30 boring minutes of Ashley doing my makeup while the guys pre-gamed, we finally hit the road. The car was loud—music blasting, Larry and Sal singing in the backseat while I drove. Ashley seemed happy, for once. I just hoped she didn’t overdo it again—but let’s be real, the chances were slim.

She scrolled on her phone, then turned toward me, concern written all over her face.

“Via, are you okay? You seem a bit out of it.”

I smiled through it, focused on the road. “I’m fine! I’ll be even better with some Bacardi and coke.”

She laughed and joined the guys in singing some random rock band I didn’t know. We finally pulled up. The boys stumbled out. Ashley ran to Maple, who waited outside with the rest of the group.

Todd waved, Maple smiled. We exchanged small talk before heading inside to pounding bass and blacklights lighting up our outfits. I clutched my small bag, feeling self-conscious about my skirt riding up. Sal coughed behind me and handed me a jacket—black with white designs—bashfully.

“I saw your skirt riding up earlier and brought this just in case,” he said, leaning close to my ear over the music.

His parents raised him right. I smiled, tied it around my waist, and headed deeper into the crowd. To the left, people played beer pong. To the right, booth tables and a buffet of drugs. Neil and Todd sat drinking bourbon.

I didn’t know where to start until someone tugged my arm.

“Travis?!”

He grinned. “Hey! I thought you fucking died.”

Last time I saw him, he was a snobby church boy who snitched on me and Larry. His dad was the pastor at the church my folks attended. We all knew the dark rumors, but no one dared say anything against the Phelps family.

We laughed. Over the music, I shouted, “What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at church with your wife and kids?”

“Me? A wife? Hell no.”

He sipped from his red Solo cup. I pointed at it, asking for a sip. He handed it to me, and I took a big gulp. I instantly regretted it—pure Tito’s. My throat burned and I started coughing.

“Shit, forgot to tell you that was straight vodka.”

We chatted a while longer. He seemed… different. His hair was a bleached blonde his father would’ve hated. We’d both changed since church. Or at least he had. I was barely scraping by.

Sal joined us, made Travis stumble over his words a bit, and invited us to sit with him and Larry. We joined the group: Larry, Chug, Todd, and Ashley. Ashley grinned and patted the spot beside her. I sat. Travis squeezed in beside Todd and Sal.

They reminisced about high school. I mostly listened.

Then Ashley, bubbly and buzzed, dropped a bomb.

“So, Sal—when were you gonna tell Via about your sexcapade with Travis?”

Everyone choked. Travis went bright red. Larry burst out laughing. Sal stammered.

“Um, yeah… we were… friends with benefits?” he said, turning to Travis, who nodded.

“Yeah, while me and Ash were on a break.”

I didn’t expect it, but honestly? It made sense.

I smiled and chimed in, “I’ve had some women of my own on tour. Who cares?”

Everyone cheered. We drank, snorted lines, and partied. Ashley and Larry disappeared. The others drifted off.

That left me and Sal. Alone. Upset.

Sal downed another shot and reached for my hand resting near the hookah pipe. His eyes—pleading. I wanted to say no. I should have. But I didn’t.

Everything blurred after that. I took another hit. Pulled Sal with me.

Next thing I knew, I was banging on the stall door. Ashley and Larry were inside. Sal tried to pull me back, calm me down. But it was too late. My breath was hot, short. The drugs, booze, and nicotine. It wasn’t mixing well.

Ashley and Larry emerged, guilt on both their faces—especially hers.

“I—I can explain,” Ashley sobbed. “I know about you and Larry, and I’m so sorry.”

Sal’s face crumpled. I turned to him, horrified. How did she know?

“There wasn’t even chemistry there,” I snapped. “We made out once. That doesn’t make me your girlfriend, Larry.”

Then to her: “And even if it did mean something to you, you still went and fucked him.”

Sal suddenly shouted, his fist slamming the stall door.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk?”

“And you are too?” I shot back.

Silence.

The others had no clue what we meant. Sal scoffed. “You’re fucking insane, Via. I’ve been nothing but nice since you joined and replaced our drummer. Get a grip. You’re not the victim here.”

Tears stung my eyes.

“Maybe I’m not the drummer. Or Ash. Or anyone you know. But I’m here because you guys invited me. Ashley did too. And we made it bigger than ever—who do you have to thank for that?”

I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten until he pushed me away. Hard. I blacked out to say the least, cause then Ashley and Larry were pulling me off of Sal while I kept yelling at him. The rest of the group rushed in to cool us off.

Todd and Neil brought me outside. Gave me soda. Fanned me. I was a mess—makeup smeared, sobbing.

Todd’s words were sharp but true. “What happens with this group… It’s better not to intervene. You’re part of the group, trust me, we see it. But Sal? Probably doesn’t.”

Neil added, “He doesn’t mean half of what he says, even sober. But he’s different with you.”

I smiled weakly, hugged him. “Thanks, Neil. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys.”

He chuckled. “Nah, girl. Thank you for getting us here.”

Just then the rest of the group were exiting the bar with Sal storming to my car and Ashley screaming after him in the parking lot

“I’m fucking apologizing—what else do you w-want from me?!”

She was a mess, sobbing and slurring. Todd carried her to the car. Ashley collapsed into my arms, rubbing her face into the crook of my neck.

“Via, I’m so sorry… I know I’m wrong. I just—I want us to still be friends even if I… hic fucked up.”

She was definitely out of it, but I couldn’t help but hold her. Maybe Sal had a point—none of us were innocent in this story. I whispered back, “It’s okay, babe. I’ll still be here.” She let go and climbed into Todd’s car. The guilt sat heavy in my stomach.

Suddenly Larry grabbed my arm and pulled me aside to a more secluded area. I tried to speak up to ask what this was about, but before I could he started speaking.

“Look, I’m sorry."

His voice was guilty and sad as he averted his gaze for just a minute, as if contemplating what to say next.

"I- I knew you were never mine—from the very beginning.”

I opened my mouth, ready to argue, but he kept going, voice brittle.

“I wish you were. But you’re his, Y/N. I love my brother enough to put my feelings aside. I started hooking up with Ashley when I was still bitter. I told her we made out. I told her you were seeing someone else. I knew it was wrong, but I needed someone to talk to. Apparently, she did too.”

I couldn’t even speak. How did he know?

I replied, voice small. “How’d you even reach that conclusion?”

He chuckled dryly. “It’s the way you act around each other. You guys have this understanding. It’s… deep. Like you’ve known each other forever. It took at least a bit of time for me and him to reach that point but you...”

He looked off into the distance. “That's not the point I'm trying to make. The point is that he didn’t react to me and Ashley—until he thought something happened between you and me. That’s when he lost it.”

We stood in silence.

“I don’t wanna lose you over something like this,” Larry said. “You’ve been my friend since childhood.”

I hugged him tightly for a while, feeling something solid and safe in his arms. It wasn’t romantic. It was friendship, one that was pure, honest, and irreplaceable. After a while, we said our goodbyes and went to our separate cars.

When I got into the driver’s seat, Sal’s voice cut through the quiet like a blade.

“Who were you talking to?”

I froze.

“Larry,” I said hesitantly.

“Of course you were.” He scoffed. “Did you two fuck while you were at it?”

The sneer in his voice made me flinch. “For the last damn time,” I snapped, “me and Larry made out once—after your indecisive ass told me you didn’t want to be with me!”

Silence followed.

All the way home, except for the soft hiss of my vape. We walked inside, took off our shoes. The house was pitch black. The cats were nowhere in sight.

Just as I turned to go to my room, I heard the quiet thud of something hitting the floor—Sal’s prosthetic.
Then he picked me up.

My legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as he carried me up the stairs to his room.

Chapter Text

Sal had pulled me upstairs by the legs, dragging them around his hips as he took me to my room and sat me down on my bed. He paced around, trying to choose his words wisely, as he knew that I was the sort of individual who took things personally and did not let them go so easily.

It was a habit, a bad one, but you can't fix something you don't even know is broken. He gave me the once-over, and dear God, I was a wreck. My hair was knotted and mussed, my makeup streaked from crying, and my eyes screamed exhaustion.

I was about to ask a question to interrupt the silence, but he beat me to it.

"Via—Y/N, come on, I'm sorry I said that in there, but I wasn't wrong."

I hesitated before I nodded. Deep down, I knew he was right—it was hypocritical to call out Ashley when we'd been doing worse.

Sal stepped across and snatched the Geek Bar out of my hand, drew his mask over his mouth, and took a pull. That part of his jaw was gone, but his marbled skin told a beautiful story about how hard he really was. It drew me in—I was even leaning in closer without realizing it.

As if weighing it for a second, he accepted the smoke, then seized my jaw in his left hand and parted my lips, exhaling the smoke into my mouth. I inhaled it instantly, savoring every final bit of him before exhaling, the cloud floating off into the cold air of my bedroom.

Now we were alone, faces still inches apart. He smirked, pulled his mask back down, making me blush a bit and finally back up. God, it was hard to stay mad at him when he was right—and that damn charming.

"Are we good now?" His hands were on my lap while his eyes looked into mine. I swallowed the lump in my threat and nodded. He tightly squeezed my thigh then patted it and said,
"Glad we had that talk. Good night, beautiful."

He stood up and walked out, leaving me alone to replay the events of the night in my head.
What the heck is wrong with him? One minute he's pulling me in, then pushing me away, then pulling again, then pushing away again. and now he's pulling in again?

I think I'm bad, but he takes the cake for indecisiveness. I needed a day in to relax, perhaps for once actually take care of myself.

And I did just that—took a lengthy shower, used all my products, completed my skincare regimen, and wore comfortable pajamas. Following a well-deserved nap, I woke up to the warm sunshine peeking in my face and the buzzing of my phone on the nightstand.

It was Larry. I answered groggily.

"Sup, little dude. Shit—I didn't wake you, did I?"

I laughed. "It's okay, Larry. What's up?"

He replied quickly, excitement in his voice.

"Nothin' much. Was wonderin' if you and Sal were up for hangin' out at your house—maybe play a bit of Mario Kart?"

His voice was hopeful. How could I say no to that? And maybe it'd bring peace between the two of them.

"Yeah, I'll let Sal know. Bring snacks, though. We ain't got shit in the house."

We talked about what to bring and hung up. My door was tapped on by Sal a little while later, as though he had perfect timing.

"Come in," I said, and he did, sitting down at the foot of my bed.

I had not had an opportunity to expound on the plans when his phone rang. Ash. Strange, as they were not talking yet. He went out into the hallway. Maybe he did not think that I could hear him, but these walls are thin.

Sal sighed.

"You're fucking kidding. Ashley, why would we tour—after what happened?"

Silence.

Then, whatever. I'll tell Via, but I'm not in the mood to see you, so don't even think about coming into this house."

Silence once more. Then the words that made me reel—

"Fuck," he swore under his breath. "Okay, I'll go over there."

What the fuck? Is this some sick joke? Perhaps I didn't hear him right.

He walked back in and rested against the doorway, not facing me. Couldn't face me.
Through, Ashley told me we're going to start a tour soon—'cause we're on a peak now. Rehearsal is tonight at 6 pm"

I nodded, turning away. He hesitated before moving in closer and running his fingers along my cheek, making me shiver.

"You okay? If you want some time off, I'll tell her. You know more than us anyway, so it'll be fine.".
He tried to be kiddo, but his eyes were full of sweet lies. His words were empty. I gently pushed his hand away.

"I'm fine. Practice is fine. I needed to inform you that Larry is coming by today."

He froze literally, cleared his throat, then said, "Oh yeah. Alright then, that's good. I'm gonna go get groceries—we're out. I'll be back, and then I'll drive us to practice."

Bullshit. He seemed angry. Maybe even jealous. Hopefully, that would make him regret what he had done.

"I'm inviting another friend. So don't be late."

He nodded and closed the door behind him. I got my phone and called Ashley. She answered quickly and cheerfully.

"Viaa!" she cooed, though there was a tentative edge to her voice.

"Hey, love. I was wondering if you had Travis' number, if it's not too much."

She hesitated before sending it. We thanked her quickly and hung up. She sounded like she needed to get off the phone. Maybe she had something going on—with him.

I didn't bother calling Travis. It rang for a moment before he picked up, his voice soft and sleepy.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Travis. It's Y/N—Ashley gave me your number. I was wondering if you'd like to come over?"

It now sounded strange, so I added quickly, Larry's stopping over too—with snacks and stuff. It'll be fun! Bring a friend!"

He chuckled. "Sure have. Been wantin' to hang with you some more."

I smiled. "Okay then. See ya soon."

Click.

Larry came earliest, a bag of junk food in one hand and a half-smoked blunt wedged between two fingers of the other. He kicked off his shoes as if he were at home, collapsing in a dramatic sprawl across my couch.

"Got the snacks. You've got the games," he said. "Now, where's Sally Face?"

I raised an eyebrow, and he caught it instantly. "You all right, little dude?" His voice was softer than normal for him.

"Yeah, I'm good. He had to attend to some business. Groceries, too. Fortunately, I invited some friends over to occupy the seats."

I smiled and leaned back beside him, our bodies tight and warm.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug, his comfort wrapping around me like a shawl. It was the type of distraction that I required, though only for a brief minute.

Larry was my friend, and in praising him for treating me like gold, especially after I'd led him on before. He smiled and handed me a controller, and dumped a bag of chips I adore into my lap.
I smiled back, tore the bag open, and settled it between us. We started a game—just the two of us—waiting for the others to arrive.

After two rounds or so, there was a loud bang on the door. I opened it with a wide grin. Travis and Phillip were standing at the door.

Travis wore a brown Mossy Oak graphic tea that had a woodland camo logo and was worn over a beige long-sleeve. He wore his olive cargo pants with flap pockets and a rugged, wrorn look.

Phillip had on an oversized black zip-up hoodie, a white graphic tea shirt underneath, and baggy jeans that were distressed at the bottom. Each of them had on bags that I wasn't familiar with.

Travis side-hugged me, not wanting to crash into me carrying his bags.
"Hey, babe. How you been?" he asked, relaxed tone but with a beneath-the-surface concern.
He put the bags down on the kitchen counter, and Phillip greeted me with a nod as he followed.
"I've been okay. I'm assuming you heard about the commotion?"

Phillip chuckled. "Sweetheart, everybody's heard. Gossip spreads like wildfire in small towns."

Travis elbowed him and Phillip winced, rubbing his ribcage.

"He's right though," Travis remarked, returning to me. "Everyone's talking. You seemed the most wrecked—no offense."

I glanced aside and wandered into the kitchen to scrutinize the bags. Beer, chocolates, sweets. Larry caught up with us and dispensed the guys casually. I grabbed a beer, twisting the cap slowly before at last repeating.

I'm the least fucked up, really. It's Sal I worry about. Folks around here appreciated my folks. But Sal?"

I hesitated. "I don't even know how his story goes."

It was a silence for some time before Larry spoke something.

"Yeah, you guys don't know much about it."

I opened my beer and took a swig. Travis did the same. Sal was still looking for a mystery—even to me.

Phillip tried to break the tension. "So, do we begin some kart or what?"

Larry grinned and put an arm across his shoulder. "After a Mary-Jane break? Hell yeah."

I cringed. Travis and I were on the floor next to the couch, and Phillip and Larry were on the cushions. A joint made the rounds, and we found ourselves finally getting into the swing, playing Mario Kart, allowing the laugh and camaraderie to mellow out our worst thoughts.

And yet my thoughts still lingered with Sal.

What was he doing with Ashley? Did he keep his word, or fold the instant he saw her being vulnerable?

I couldn't compete. She was his first love—possibly his only true one. I was just someone who happened to get in the way. I would not blame him if he came running back. I knew I would.
Just then, I had broken Phillip's four-game winning streak. He tackled me playfully, and we rolled around, wrestling and laughing like kids.

All in fun and innocently—until Sal came into the room.

He stood in the doorway, bags in his hands. His eyes were riveted on the scene—Phillip's knee stuck between my legs, both of us panting and rolling around on the floor.

We split apart in a split second. I began to explain why, but Sal's voice thundered out, thick with rage.

"What is this?"

He looked rumpled—hair all messy, collar of his shirt pulled askew.

"Sal, we were just messing around!" Travis and Larry can tell you themselves—"

"I don't care what they have to say." His voice grew uglier. "I told you to leave her alone."

Phillip snorted and stood before me, hands shoved into jacket pockets. Sal dropped the bags to the floor and advanced on him, closing the distance between them.

"She's not a dog, Sal," Phillip snarled. "Don't assume she'll come running after you when you're fucking the group cum dumpster."

Stunned silence fell over everyone.

"What are you even talking about?" I said.

Phillip laughed once more. "You don't know? Ashley and Larry, Sal, I, and even that college dropout on the floor below."

Sal, suddenly, grasped my waist and clamped a firm arm about it. Phillip was prepared to go head-to-head. Travis sprang up to tackle him. Larry simply sat there in silence, avoiding eye contact.

I was outraged, staring at them. I had never before heard any of this.

Sal finally spoke up. "Via, why in the fuck did you invite this asshole?"

I couldn't get a word out. Travis answered.

"Shit, Sal—I brought him. I had no idea about any of this."

Sal's grip on my arm was tight. I winced, but didn't move.

Phillip stepped forward. "Why does she need to ask? We were just clowning around. Meanwhile, you get back from her place looking like that?"

I looked up at Sal. His eyes were now nervous, his fingers finally letting go.

"What happened there?" I asked softly. My voice was silky, Brittle. I had learned how to get the truth out, just like Ashley. Play damsel.

He paused. "We kissed. I tried to tell her no, but she just kept pushing. But please—I promise—"
He attempted to grab my face, voice shattering.

"I want you to be mine and nobody else's. I don't want to be anybody's except yours."
I pulled away. "I'm sorry. Every single one of you has to leave. Please."

That "please" was a suggestion rather than an order. I grabbed Travis's hand and led him to my bedroom, where we locked the door.

We collapsed there in silence before he hugged me idiotically.

"I don't do this every day," he muttered. "So enjoy it."

We both chuckled, then huddled on the floor with some chocolates Travis had secretly stashed in his pockets.

We began talking, and Travis began by telling the truth about Ashley. He was kind about it, not wanting to lie to me, but not defending either Ash or Sal either.

"Ash had kind of a checkered history, to say the least," he told her. "She was struggling. Her parents kicked her out when she was eighteen, and she dropped out of college. That's when she became part of the band. It took off around here. Then. The drugs came in, and she changed."
He breathed out.

"Then she started hooking up with random guys in town after fights with Sal. She got pregnant somehow."

That was shocking. I didn't think so of her, but it made me see that I didn't know any of them well.

Travis cleared his threat. "Sal found out and paid for her to get it aborted. What she never told him was that the baby wasn't his—it was Phillip's. When Larry told Sal, he lost his temper."

He paused again. His eyes were watery now. I placed a gentle touch on his hand, which gave him the energy to continue.

"He never touched her. But later, Sal and I started-"

I gazed at him, more stunned than I'd been that entire evening.

"Did you know?" I asked.

He shook his head slowly. "About them still being together. yeah. I did."
He hung his head in shame. I stroked his back comfortingly.

"Look, mistakes in the past don't make you a bad person. It was a crappy situation."
He nodded, wiping away a tear.

None of them was the villain. Just broken people copying badly. I knew that I couldn't judge—not with my history. Nonetheless, there was a part of me that wished that it could all be on a higher note. I think Travis did too.

Then, maybe out of stupidity or desperation, I asked, "Do you still like Sal?"

He did seem shocked. Then, avoiding my eyes, he whispered, "Yeah. Occasionally. But I know I'm not the man for him."

I nodded, seeing more than I wanted to.

Finally, Travis left. He did seem more at ease, and I was left behind, finally able to get through what was left of this debacle.

The truth was: I didn't belong to anyone. Not even Sal—even if I did want to.

Every time that I tried to get a break from the insanity, life somehow served me up something else. Still, one thing was for sure: the manner in which Sal was acting—possessive, manipulative—must stop.

Later in the evening, I sat alone in the living room. I just stripped and slid into plaid flannel shorts and a black lace-trim camisole. My hair was damp, pushing a bit onto the soft gray blanket draped across my lap. Our two cats, Gizmo and Honey, curled up on either side of me.
The television lighted the room softly—until Sal came in and turned on the kitchen light.

I didn't say anything. I just kept petting Honey, who was already being comforted by my touch alone. Gizmo jumped off the couch and padded over to Sal, meowing at the top of his lungs as though scolding him for not being gone for so long.

Sal walked over and sat on the far end of the couch. The tension in the air was suffocating. He stuttered before he spoke, his voice dry and raspy, but still deep and soothing.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I know you're not my girlfriend—and even if you were, it still wouldn't be right."
I did not look at him. I could not. The only thing I could focus on was the scent of his cinnamon cologne, the warm, musky smell filling my lungs.

As much as I wanted to react, to accept his apology, I knew nothing would change unless I kept my boundaries intact.

So instead, I dumb up, carefully scooped up Honey, and retired to my room. I didn't say a thing.
Behind me, Sal bellowed, "Via—come on."

I slammed my door shut.

Then there was a knock. His voice was muffled by the wood, exasperated and shaking.

"You can't just ignore me, Via. We live together!"

I didn't answer. I climbed into bed, stuck my face into a pillow, and let his voice fade away.

Chapter Text

A week had passed since the incident between Phillip and Sal, no words exchanged at practice or at home between me and Sal, and no words exchanged between me and Phillip at all, radio silence on my part, unexpected to everyone, even Todd and Neil. I chose to stay in my room with Honey, and sneaking food into my room when I could, but my vape became the main part of my diet. It felt tranquil for once, quiet, even unnatural, the feeling unknown to me til now. Years of fighting and war, and for once, it was silent. If I could, I would go M.I.A., but unfortunately, that can’t happen, at least not now.

Maybe once I'm famous enough, I’ll overdose in the bathroom and take myself out in a cool way, or perhaps I’ll stick around and spend my money on honey. I’m still not sure what I wanna do with this upcoming fame just yet. I didn’t even think I would make it this far; however, the universe had different plans for me. Sal seems off, though, stumbling up the stairs late at night, empty cases of beer littering my floor with prescription pills nearby, and roaches of cigarettes and weed on my ashtrays. Unhealthy amounts of this made me worry. Granted, I’m definitely not any better with my coping skills, but he won’t even eat or drink any other drinks in the kitchen, barely even hearing the water dispenser.

There's only so much left to the imagination about what he’s doing. I got up from my bedroom beanbag to get some food. Today felt like a fast food + errands day, so I got ready, putting on a black long sleeve with some sweatpants, since I have to look at least presentable to go outside for once, as I went to the entryway to grab my car keys from the table, Sal opened the door to walk in, outside it was pouring rain, his white shirt soaking wet, and his hair dripping water onto the rug right by the door where he stood, his cerulean eyes expressing shock as he looked me up and down before glancing away, I felt my cheeks heating up as I looked away to avoid looking at his face let alone anything else. Quickly grabbing my keys, I walked past him and headed straight to my car, the cold rain pouring against my body as I closed my door and drove off I didn’t know where I wanted to go, but I knew I just didn’t wanna be near Sal.

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss the way he gripped my thighs or the way he kissed down my neck, or if I said that I didn’t lie down in my bed at night replaying the feeling of his hands gripping my hips and slamming me down on him. I quickly shook my head and dragged my hands down my face. I needed to get it together and quickly. Sal is a sexy man, trust me, I know that, but I had to lay down some rules. I got my food and came back home about 5 hours later, walking in soaking wet while my food remained warm inside with a little water that dripped from my body onto the bag. I stripped off my clothes, forgetting that Sal even existed. I just needed them off before I caught a cold, as I then placed my food in the kitchen. Sal had walked out of his room, and before I could get to the bathroom, his gaze fell on me. Panic settled in quickly as I tried to explain myself.

“Shit, Sal! I forgot you were home, I’m so sorry-”
His gaze stayed stuck on me, but as I tried to quickly walk past him in shame, he grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me in front of him, my face red and my body shivering from both nervousness and the cold air hitting me. Sal then finally spoke up.

“Why have you been avoiding me, Via?”

I quickly replied

“You know why, I’m not your property.”

He let out a sigh as he let me go to run his fingers through his hair. He took a minute before finally responding, “Look, I already apologized, but he’s not a good guy.”

My voice got louder as I confronted him, “And how would you know that? How would you-”

He cut me off quickly by pulling me in closer.

“Because he only wants one thing, he wants to fuck you. That’s all Phillip wants and ‘d rather be dead or kill him myself before letting him lay even a finger on your body.”

My eyes widened, and I felt the same feelings I got around him before. I was slowly losing just like I always did, but this time I wasn’t even high or drunk. His grip on me tightened as he looked at me with hunger. If Iweres gonna lose this battle, I would by my own terms. I pulled him in by the collar of his shirt, I unclasped the mask myself, letting it fall on the floor as I shoved his lips against mine, his mouth tasting of mint and tobacco, his calloused hands roaming up and down my body, and gripping at my breast and ass as we headed to the couch. My back landed on the soft cushions, and his warm chest rubbed against my freezing one as he kissed down my neck and his hands made their way into my panties.

A soft moan fell from my lips as his fingers lightly probed at my clit, causing my back to arch off the soft fabric underneath me, my reaction causing him to shiver. His scarred face was marbled and perfect; each scar felt like looking at a part of a story, and his missing parts made his face even more interesting and attractive to look at. His lips slightly parted and his hair a bit ruffled from our making out and his cheeks a bit flushed too, while he continued to re-explore every part of my body that he could touch or toy with that would get a reaction out of me, which honestly anything he did could, lik the way he plays his black guitar at home shirtless, or the way he looked away from someone for a second while he talked to them.

He continued to play with the bundle of nerves as I tried to contain myself, however it was getting boring so I grabbed his wrist and tried to guide his slick fingers into my pussy, but he slapped my hand away and leaned next to my ear, his voice demanding and dominate as he spoke “I own this pussy so I’ll do what I want to it.” I moaned out as he then pressed his thumb against my clit, he smirked and kissed my ear gently as he toyed with it for a little more, then finally, he slid them down my folds and inserted one digit into my pussy, causing me to cry out and grip onto his back, my body sensitive and raw from the lack of sensation since the argument.

I tried to ride his finger but his other hand slapped my face and held my neck a bit tight, he growled out “Don’t fucking move til I tell you to move” I obeyed and let out little mewls and whines as he teased me with his single digit, I whined out for another finger “ Sal please just one more” he smiled and then inserted another one into me, my moans now louder as he praised me “See? Lose the attitude, and I’ll give you what you need, princess.” he then began to thrust the two digits in and out of me, my legs shaking as his mouth focused on my breast, his teeth pulled down my bra to let my breast out, my moans began coming out more broken and loud as I felt my orgasm creeping in, I then couldnt contain myself and I gripped his wrist to ride them myself, the edging becoming overbearing, this time Sal didn’t stop me instead opting to enjoy the show infront of him, his other hand toying with my nipple as I began to orgasm on his fingers, my mind to focused on the sensation to really care about the argument anymore.

As my orgasm settled down, he quickly began unbuckling his pants and pulling out his cock, the head red and spewing out pre-cum, he murmured a curse word as he began pumping his shaft. He looked over at me and motioned for me to kneel in front of him, I went as fast as I could to kneel in front of him, once I did he gripped my cheeks and looked down at me, “You look so pretty Y/N” he smiled softly as he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, he then laided back and commanded me.

“Suck.”

I nodded and gently placed my lips on his tip, and as my lips slowly wrapped around his thick shaft, my saliva dripped down his dick as I bobbed my head up and down, gagging every time I took in his whole length. Meanwhile, Sal was a moaning mess, sweat running down his neck as he grabbed my hair to bob me up and down at the pace he liked. He then lifted my head completely off, my mouth letting out a pop as his tip was exposed to cold air. He looked into my eyes and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my lips. He held it for a few seconds before pulling away slowly, muttering, “You did so well, I should give you a prize now, no?” his head tilted as he asked, and I quickly nodded. He smirked and pulled me onto his lap, his cock teasing my entrance, making him shudder as my vagina tried to suck him into me, but to no avail. Instead, I gripped onto nothing. I looked at him with watery eyes, and my voice came out weak and shaky as I asked him, Pleasee just put it in Sal.” he smiled and slid his dick into me at an agonizingly slow pace as if testing how much he could push me before I would break. I cried out as his dick hit my cervix, causing me pain but pleasure all at once. My knees spread out open on each side of his legs, exposing my pussy out for him to see, and my nipples were fully hard from being exposed, and my bra just slid underneath them. My hair dripped water onto his stomach as I slowly began bouncing up and down on him, the pain of his dick hitting so deep slowly becoming the least of my worries as my moans matched along with my bouncing. He lay back on the couch, enjoying the show of me trying to get another orgasm out, but to no avail.

He then chuckled and placed his hands on my hips, completely slamming me down onto him, making me yelp out in pleasure. He kissed my neck and asked me, “You wanna let me make you cum?” I begrudgingly agreed, and with that, and pulled me off of him, my pussy clenching the cold air again, and he flipped around onto the couch, ass u,p and the side of my face deep into the cushion. He smacked my ass and rubbed it before gripping onto my hips again and lining his dick up to enter inside me, with a kiss to my back, he began slamming me up and down his dick, my moans coming out even louder as he continued to fuck me, he smacked my ass again as he praised me, “fuck baby, you feel so good around my dick” I moaned out something I couldn’t even decipher as a response and then he asked me “I bet nobody could fuck you this good huh?”

I whined out as a response, making him completely pull out. I let out a small whimper as he readjusted him to my entrance. He cooed out, “It’s okay, baby, just making sure I’m doing things even better, okay?” Before I could respond he thrusted into at an ungodly pace, I could feel my ass cheeks moving at the rate he was fucking into me, leaving me only able to moan out and cry into the cushions as I felt my orgasm creeping in, as I continued to moan out, he pathetically asked me, “where do you want me to cum Y/N?” I yelled out, “Inside me!” He asked me again to confirm my choice, “Are you sure you want it inside?”

I moaned out in a response, “Yes fuck, I don’t care, just cum inside me, please, I need it!” He smiled and smack my ass again as his pace got choppier and weaker, his orgasm creeping in alongside mines, but he chose to toy with my clit while fucking me, the overstimulation instantly making me cum all over his dick, with a few more good thrust I felt his hot cum spew all over my insides leaving me limp on the couch as he pulled out.

He quickly left, leaving me alone contemplating my life choices. Did I really just fuck him after all of that bullshit? I guess so, since now I’m here with his cum threatening to leave my pussy and soil my couch. Just as I was about to get up to clean myself off, Sal came with a war,m wet towel and some comfy clothes of mines I put to dry before I left, he cleaned my vagina up gently before sliding the new shorts onto my body and then sitting me up, fixing my bra, and finally helping me put my old band tee. I shrank into myself on the couch, hugging my legs tightly to me as I looked at him. He has fixed himself up the best he could, his hair still a sweaty mess.

I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ears to avoid sweating any more than I already have been. I could already feel the regret seeping in as I sat in silence. I tried to set a boundary I didn’t even really want, and it all still led to nothing. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Sal grabbing me and laying me onto his chest. I hadn’t noticed that he lay down on the couch, and now we were here, cuddling on my couch, his hand on my hips and mine on his chest, I felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep there.

I woke up to the sound of meows from Gizmo and Honey; the poor cats haven’t eaten yet due to my and Sal’s session. I got up gently, but Sal grabbed my hand as he tossed and turned a bit. His voice came out low and raspy, “Where are you going?” I responded quietly, “Feeding the cats really quickly, I’ll be back.” he just hummed in response and turned back again., I poured the cat food into the two bowls and filled up their water bowls. I knew that I would have to stop by the pharmacy soon to pick up a Plan B, so why not make it a mission with Sal, so I can corner him about what happened between him and Phillip about me?

I woke Sal up, to which he groans and slowly sat up, I grabbed his prosthetic off of the floor and threw it to him, he swiftly caught it and clipped it back onto his face, he then sat up on the couch and patted the spot next to him, I took a seat right next to him, and he stared right back at me with attentiveness. I smiled softly and then started up the conversation, “We need to go by the pharmacy, you know?” his eyes widened, expressing shock, before he got up to grab his car keys while answering, “Shit, I forgot. I’ll take you myself, okay?” I got up, nervousness eating me up inside while I adjusted my shorts and followed behind him. Sal and I got into the car and sat in silence for just a minute, the silence comfortable and wanted, before putting the car in reverse. He reached over and grabbed my hand, placing it on the gearstick right underneath his, and there it would stay. I wasn’t gonna pull away.

A minute into the drive, I asked him the question while staring at the trees we passed by, the shitty streetlights not helping the moon illuminate the road in front of us. “I actually wanted to ask you something.” I hesitated before asking, “What was that thing you told Phillip about me?” He drove quietly for a bit, the silence for once being awkward, then he answered me “I was out one night getting my order from him, and I had one of your hairties on my wrist, I was in a rush to find mines, but could only find yours.” he gripped the steering wheel and my hand a bit tighter “he saw it and the dumb ass asked when he was gonna get to fuck you, like as if you weren’t mi-” he stopped himself, briefly realizing he fucked up, but couldn’t give less of a fuck for this mistake. Instead, he continued his story, “Point is, after that I told him you weren’t up for grabs to anyone. Since then, the guy has had a grudge against me.”

“I’m yours?” I asked without really putting much thought into it, and he slammed the brakes right in the middle of the deserted road. He looked right into my eyes, his stare practically burning into my skin, as my lips parted to try and answer him. His mask was already pushed up, and his lips were on mine. Still, rather than a make-out session, he placed a soft, gentle, long kiss on my lips before parting away from me, fixing his mask, and going back to driving, leaving me stunned in my seat. I hadn’t even realised we were pretty close to the Pharmacy. He grabbed his keys and headed out to the pharmacy, leaving me alone to wonder what the fuck just happened?

What are we now at this point, fuck buddies, friends with benefits, partners, maybe something else? The way he grabs my face and kisses me like I’m the only woman that matters makes me long for a chance to be in a relationship with him, but instead, I have to keep this secret for the sake of the band, especially with Ashley being unstable at the moment. He came back in the car, handing me a bag with the plan b, a cherry cola, and some of my favorite chocolates, he seemed a bit nervous as I thanked him, he nodded and replied “No problem, its the least I could do, especially after being an asshole to you” I dismissed his claim quickly “Sal you aren’t an asshole, I understand you were just worried for me so thank you, but now I just gotta know one thing?” He was now confused, I knew by the way he asked me about my question, “What do you wanna know?” I hesitated for a minute; this one singular question about Ashley could change our whole dynamic. Was it really something I wanted to risk?

Yes, it was. If Sal wanted to leave me for Ashley, then he would’ve done it long ago, so what is it about me? What does Sal see in me that he can’t find in anyone else, let alone Ashley Campbell? I stuttered before finally dismissing my question “Nevermind, I forgot what I was even gonna ask” I faked a smile before he nodded and grabbed my hand again to begin the drive home, however the question I wanted to ask still lingered in my mind, and even brought up the new question of if I could even compete with Ash, or was I just something easier for him.

My thoughts were interrupted by Sal, who opened the car door for me. I didn’t even notice that we had made it back home, as I got out and headed back inside, I flopped back onto the couch, while Sal headed it the kitchen. He came back with a glass of water and a beer for himself. I got out my plan B and opened it, placing the pill in my mouth, before taking the glass of water he was handing over to me now, and swallowing my pill as he cracked open his beer. I stared down at my lap as he shifted his mask up to take a chug of his beer, I looked over at him and gently asked “Since when have you drank so much?” he chuckled before answering “Not too long ago” I nodded before answering “It seems unnatural for you though” He smiled a bit before fixing his mask again to be able to look at me, this eyes making me feel weak as he replied to me “your vapes don't suit you much either” he then pointed to my last geek bar on the floor. I never even realized I had it on me during our whole ordeal, but then again, I don’t think you notice much when you’re about to get dick for the first time in weeks.

I just nodded with a grin myself, before lying down on the couch, legs lying on top of Sal’s lap. He gently massaged them as he drank his beer, and then, before I realized it, I fell asleep again with Sal right by my side.

Chapter Text

I woke up at around 3:56 am, at least according to the clock showing on my tv. Sal was fast asleep with his prosthetic resting on my lap and his head laid back on the soft dark red sofa cushion. My body refused to move, not wanting to disturb his slumber. It's been a while since he slept that comfortably, and I didn’t wanna lose the warmth his body radiated despite being somewhat cold to the touch.

He woke up around an hour later, slowly stretching in an attempt to not wake me up, unfortunately for him I was already up. He sat there for a good minute staring at me, more specifically staring at my lips. I spoke up, making him jolt for a second “Finally awake?” He let out a small groggy laugh before nodding. I felt the blood already rushing to my face as I slowly sat up, Sal pulled me by wrapping his arms around my hips and resting his head in the crook of my neck. I protested back “Sal, I wanna go outside to smoke please” he let out a playful complaint I couldn’t make out before he let me go.

I got up and bee lined to my bag where a box of cigarettes I had stashed away were found sitting in the pocket where usually you would put little containers like perfume sprays or lotions. Quickly grabbing it I went out the front door and sat down on the little steps of my porch and lighting up one. The wind blowing making it a bit more a challenging task, all worth it to feel the burning sensation slowly curling in my chest before letting it out when it became too much to bear. Sal joined me outside, the sight of his prosthetic back on his face making me frown the slightest bit. He sat down on a chair on the porch deck behind me and sighed out in relief as he relaxed once again. The cold air blew again as I stared at his figure, the wind eventually stung my eyes making them teary as I took another drag of my cigarette. His eventually found their way back to mines, I caught the way he shivered and his eye watering up just like mines. We both sat in silence, watching the dark hues of the night sky de gulf everything in sight except for the sight of Todd’s house across from mines. I wondered for a second about Larry, how he was doing throughout this whole ordeal.

I suddenly felt Sal’s cold hand on my hair line as he planted on right on the top of my head and ruffling it, making a mess that would be a bit of a hassle to deal with later. He then sat next to me and ask the cigarette, I handed it to him and looked at the ground in front of me before they look at the gray smoke gliding through the cake that tried to blow it away, it captured my attention instantly as it makes pretty patterns, then leaving in an instant. He then put the cigarette out on the step and then getting up while scolding me “you know these aren’t that good, but at least it isn’t those vapes you keep buying” he then let out a hand for me to pull myself up with, I clutched it, his calloused hands warm against my bandaged ones, they both held on longer than necessary before letting go.

I felt cold again, I longed for him to grip onto me for another moment. We both went inside and headed to our respective rooms, but not before saying goodnight to eachother. I however couldn’t sleep, not after something like that. Instead I stayed up til 9am pondering about how a relationship between me and this guy would even be like, would it end up like every other or would it be different. Before I could even wonder about each scenario any longer Todd called me telling me to come over for breakfast with Sal. Any sort of free meals were an automatic yes in my books, and probably in Sal’s too. That was how we found ourselves inside of Todd’s house, all of us, Larry included, at the dinner table in awkward silence. Todd was just about to speak up before a knock came at the door, he went to open the door and returned with Ashley, Maple, and Chug. Sal’s eyes widened as he quickly got up, speaking in disbelief to Todd “what the fuck is this about?” He was just about to leave but I quickly grasped his wrist, pulling him back near me. Ashley’s eyes flickered with sadness as she looked at the display in front of her. Todd cleared his throat before replying back “this is an intervention, you guys need to get your shit together before this tour. We spent way too much to pussy out of it because of shitty drama” his arms crossed as he sat back down in his seat. Larry groaned and Ashley sat down in the empty chair next to him. Chug quickly backed up Todd “I mean you guys have to learn the difference between personal and professional life, man” Maple hesitantly nodded in agreement, she didn’t seem so sure of it herself. Ashley suddenly spoke up “well we can start with you fucking my boyfriend—“ Sal quickly interrupted her, bristling “I’m not your fucking boyfriend, Ash! We’ve been over this god knows how many times!” Larry and I both sat there silent as Sal and Ashley continued their bickering.

For obvious reasons the intervention went nowhere, it only made more issues than before, so now we were all sat in the living room in total silence. Todd cleared his throat while I rolled my eyes, Neil gave me a glare before focusing back on Todd. He continued “since you guys wanna be like kids then I’m gonna give you a kid solution. Everyone sit in a circle!” We all quickly moved in a circle in the middle of the living room, the tension crushing and the heat bubbling up, just waiting for that spark to make it erupt. Todd pointed at Larry, he yelled out as he did “Talk, you get five minutes then it’s Y/N’s!” Larry scrambled around trying to figure out what to even say, he groaned out “Why me first, Todd?” He hesitated before speaking up, “I guess we can start with that argument with Phillip in Y/N’s house—“

Ashley tried to interrupt him “He’s irreleva—“ Todd scolded her “It’s not your turn Ashley, Larry go on.”

Ash huffed and crossed her arms as Larry continued “Why was he talking about her like that? It honestly sounds like they were fucking or something. Also Sal what was that show about at the house, you were so protective over her?” He then groaned and held his head in his hands. “Man, wtf is going on” Todd then pointed at me, now I was scrambling to find the words to even begin the discussion about these claims and issues. I sighed and then began to pour out my thoughts and answers “I never had anything going on with Philip, I’ve only seen the guy two times, including the Mario Kart thing. I only invited them to get back at Sal for bailing on us!” They all sat in silence, Sal looked like he wanted to reach out and say something, anything, and I wanted him to as well, but it wasn’t his turn yet. I then continued to answer, really nervously that is “Look, this is whole me and Sal thing is not anything more than hooking up, okay. That was all it was supposed to be….” I looked at him, and god that dejected and saddened look in his cerulean eyes made my heart tear in the slightest bit. I broke, I couldn’t take hiding away anymore, let alone even keep hooking up with him while feeling so strongly for him. I continued

“I don’t wanna be just a fling—“

*SLAP*

I felt stinging on my cheek as I looked up to see Ashley being held back by Larry and Sal, my hand went up to touch the reddened flesh, but that wasn’t what I could focus on due to how frail her body looked, it seemed as if she hadn’t eaten in days, and her face sunken and bloodshot with adrenaline. And then I felt rage boiling up in my stomach, wrecking my guts around then before I knew it I was going in for a good slap myself. Todd and Neil held me back before things could go further, adrenaline pumping throughout all of our bodies, we continued to bicker, inconsiderate of our surroundings and once calm environment. We both eventually relaxed and for once I think Ashley actually grasped the concept of not being perfect, and that nobody was. I was forcibly sat back down by the two guys while Ashley was sat back in her spot, Todd was about to make us continue to debate, but Sal grabbed my arm and lifted me up to my feet, pulling me next to him by my waist. He glared at Ashley and Todd before walking away with me, but rather than leaving the house he led me to the guest bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me and locking it.

I quickly asked him as he took off his prosthetic “Sal, what’s wrong? We need to get back—“
His lips slammed onto mines, his teeth clashed with mines and his tongue stabbed into my mouth as soft whimpers left me. He pulled away and caressed my cheek gently, he placed a small kiss on it as he gently lectured me “don’t let her touch you like that, she knows what she did as well.” I nodded and he then kissed the top of my head before putting his prosthetic back on and heading back out with me. Ashley sat there, agitated and furious, but a glimmer of sadness still lingered. Todd then shook his head and then gestured for me to keep speaking. I hesitated before speaking again. “I don’t wanna live in hiding anymore, I wanna be able to do what I want without worrying about what Ashley is gonna do to Sal if it doesn’t fit her standards…” my words seemed to fit what the two other men were thinking. Then Todd gestured to Ashley, she teared up as she spoke up “Are you fucking kidding me? We all did fucked up shit and suddenly you guys are the good ones?” I felt my head begin to face the ground, Sal averted his gaze and Larry looked taken a back, she then continued getting more worked up as Maple tried to comfort her, Ash then pointed straight at me “You did this to me!!” My head shot back up to look at her as she sobbed and looked at my face “You fucking ruined everything, I looked up to you and what I got in return was you hooking up with him!!” I felt my eyes tearing up, not with sadness but rather with guilt “You ruined my life…”

She fell back onto the couch crying while everyone sat around uncomfortably, Todd then gestured over to Sal, who was sitting with a blank face due to his mask but his gaze underneath scream of guilt just like mines probably did on top of the uncomfortableness. He cleared his throat before talking “I don’t love Ashley, I never truly did.” She looked at him with heartbroken eyes, as he continued “I was a lonely depressed wreak in highschool and when someone showed me kindness I fell into it hard. I love you as a friend, but never anything further.” He looked down at the floor “that’s where I’ll admit that I fucked up, but Ashley you knew we never had true love. What we had was toxic and we have no one else to blame, but ourselves.” Ashley cried while shaking her head no, which only frustrated Sal more “You cheated on me with everyone when we fought, hell you slept with Phillip without a condom because you wanted fucking coke!” She continued to cry but this time… She wasn’t denying anything…

Sal continued on “You got knocked up and that was it, from then you were nothing more than just a roommate who hated my guts. Y/N came in at a time where I needed someone to wake me up and stop me from crying over my pathetic life.” He then turned to directly face Ashley
“Maybe it’s time you should too, so we can get out there again and make some music together, as a group.” Todd then stood up and then looked at all of us, shaking his head before asking us all “are you guys ready to be adults and do your jobs?” We all agreed and then quietly left as he shouted after us “Practice starts next week, get your shit together!”

Ashley stopped me before I could cross back to my house, she faced still red and puffy and guilt on her face “Via—“ she stopped herself, looking me directly in the eyes “Y/N…it wasn’t your fault…” I didn’t know what to say, part of me knew but another thought that it was just my mind playing tricks on me “it was this way for a while, you were just the spark to a pile of firewood covered in gas.” I nodded as she pulled me in for a hug, her arms were so thin I practically felt the bones and her skin was so pale white, I knew what she was going through but I didn’t know how to even speak up about, instead choosing to wrap her up in my arms and try to telepathically tell her that despite what happened in the past I cared about her, because I know what it’s like to be the skinny, sickly, and irritable “piece of shit” that she is. I knew what it was like to be in and out of rehab for something i knew deep down inside I would never truly stop doing.