Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

His ultimate goal, in all of this, is to not get killed.

Easy enough, not, because this is apparently a killing game, but Byakuya is Byakuya, the Ultimate Affluent Progeny, and he will have no problem-

Asahina Aoi is feeling up Ogami Sakura’s muscles in his peripheral vision.

…what was he saying?

Oh yes, he is the Ultimate Affluent Progeny, there is no way this killing game-

Kuwata Leon is blushing as Maizono Sayaka teases and giggles near the doors to the gym.

His eye twitches, but he’ll ignore-

Owada Mondo is scratching the back of his neck as Celestia Ludenberg covers her smiling mouth with her hand.

Okay, no, he draws the line right there.

Because Mondo and Celestia would be terrible together and if he’s going to participate in a killing game Byakuya will not subject himself to watching trashy romance blossom and burn as well.

He has plenty of free time, in this killing game. Might as well make good use of it.

He starts with the easy pairs first - namely, Aoi and Sakura, Leon and Sayaka. The former are working well on their own but the latter seems to be growing apart due to the first motive. Byakuya watches in real time as the light starts to leave Sayaka’s eyes and decides that this won’t do.

“Maizono.” He calls out when Sayaka is trying to get Naegi Makoto to do something that will probably lead to his death in the near future (he is such trouble, but his Ultimate is rather interesting - Byakuya tried to trip him earlier just to have Hiro accidentally take the fall for him). Maizono turns towards him, looking vaguely upset. “Let's talk.”

They go to the library (Makoto, obviously suspicious, joining them) and Byakuya takes them to a corner and says, “So, you and Kuwata.”

Makoto blinks, not understanding. Sayaka stares at him, before flushing red.

“Um, why does that matter?” She says, sounding meek, as if Byakuya can’t hear the sharpness hiding underneath. “We’re trapped here, and our friends and family…”

He snorts, and starts doing what he does best. 

Lie.

“Come on Maizono, I expect better from you.” He scowls. “There’s only three realistically feasible options here - that video is real and the police already handled it, the video is real and they're already dead, or the video is fake and that bear just wants to make us kill.”

Sayaka blinks, hope and despair swirling in her eyes. “You… you think so?”

“I know so.” He lies some more. “But no matter which option it is, doing what they want is counterproductive. They hurt our friends and family, why should we do what he wants?”

“Because they could hurt them even more!”

“Stupid girl.” He says, ignores Makoto’s ‘hey!’ “Our family is either already safe, or already dead. What we do in here doesn’t matter.”

And Sayaka sinks to the floor, despondent. Makoto falls to her side and glares at him. “This is uncalled for!”

He crosses his arms. “I think the exact opposite, Naegi. It’s the wake up call she needs.”

Then he pauses, studies the two of them, and decides that they wouldn’t match well. He needs to separate them somehow.

“Coddling her won’t help.” He scoffs. “She needs to recognize the situation we’re in and realize that nothing we do will affect the outside world, so there’s no bother trying.”

And she starts crying at this point, pushing away from Makoto and running out of the room. They both watch her go, before Makoto turns to him. “Dude.”

He shrugs. Makoto glares. “Why?”

“Make love, not war, Naegi.”

He was not expecting that. “What?”

Byakuya just smirks and walks away.

Two days pass. No one dies, though Enoshima Junko does come close. Monokuma is pissed.

“I saw Sayaka and Leon kissing!” Aoi whispers like it’s a conspiracy. “Outside of the locker rooms! Saw them when I came out of the pool!”

And Makoto, who was eating his lunch, promptly chokes on it and flails wildly until his eyes find Byakuya, dumbfounded.

Byakuya smirks.

There are some people he’s ignoring, mostly because he cannot be bothered talking to them. Hifumi is one of them, Hiro is… too old, and Toko…

Toko scares him.

Kyoko was a part of that list too - a maybe choice for Makoto, depending on how they act together, but then she appears in the library while he’s trying to contemplate his next move and says, “Why.”

“Why what?” He scowls at her because this was his him time.

“Makoto said you’d talked to Sayaka.” She crosses her arms. “You probably stopped her from murdering someone. Why?”

He shrugs. “I was bored.”

She looks unimpressed. “You were bored.”

He nods, thinks of something fun, and puts his book down, stands up and gets in her face. “And why do you care, little miss unknown?”

She, to Byakuya’s delight, doesn’t back down. “You act hostile to anyone and everyone.” Her eyes narrow. “You’re putting a target on your back.”

“Oh, I’m doing the contrary.” He smirks. “It’s a show of confidence. No one would dare try it.”

“And the matchmaking?”

Byakuya blinks. For a moment, he’s thrown. “I couldn’t possibly know what you mean.”

Her expression stays passive. “Yesterday you suggested that Mondo and Taka just ‘take out their grievances in the sauna’. Today they’re practically indecent with each other.”

He snorts. “How was I supposed to know-”

“Sayaka and Leon are also now together.” Kyoko continues, and damn she’s good. “Makoto said that you mentioned the two of them, knew she fancied him.”

Byakuya, for a single moment, didn’t know what to say.

Kyoko, in that single moment, became one of the most interesting people on the planet to him.

“As I said.” He backed away, because suddenly he was too close, needed space. “I was bored.”

It took him a few hours laying on his bed staring at the ceiling to realize that he is not an outsider to this game he is playing - he’s just another player.

Chihiro reveals the fact that they were pretending to be a girl, but after a lot of internal debate discovered that they really didn’t know how they felt about it, and that they’re at the point that both being a guy and girl feels right and wrong. After a very long conversation where Byakuya paid more attention to how Mondo and Taka reacted (realizing that maybe to matchmake he needs to broaden beyond just two people together) in the end Chihiro is going by all pronouns and is still trying to decide if they resonate with all genders or no genders.

Byakuya wishes them the best, but could honestly care less. He is trying to matchmake here.

(He pushes Chihiro to start working out with Mondo, everything should work itself out from there.)

He’s busy trying to figure out if Celestia really matches with anyone (it would have to be Junko, but that’s not right-) when Makoto comes up to him and points a finger. “I was right!”

He keeps his face blank. “That seems implausible.”

Makoto ignores the insult. “You are matchmaking us!” 

He doesn’t really sound upset by it. “Really? I am?”

“Yes!” He sounds mostly pleased that he figured it out. “Did you lie about your ultimate or something? The online forums-” He pauses, blushes.

Byakuya hums. “Did you look me up?”

He turns very sheepish. “Uh… I wanted to know my classmates?”

“Mmhmm.” He smirks. “No, Naegi, I didn’t lie about my ultimate.”

“So you have two!”

Byakuya has no idea what he is talking about. “What do you want?”

He blushes again. “...Who are you matching me with?”

Kyoko. Myself. Maybe both of us. “Quite prideful to assume you are included in this.”

Makoto blushes harder before holding his ground. “Why are you hiding it?”

And Byakuya’s not prepared for that response, which makes Makoto swagger away all smug, pleased to make him speechless.

He sighs. Toko pops around a corner. He runs.

Monokuma is livid all the time. He says that the lack of killing is filling him with despair, and then he does a little shake and shimmy that feels very uncomfortable because Byakuya’s suddenly sure the person behind this all is getting pleasure from this sadistic despair game. Then Monokuma pauses, ponders, and Kyoko says that if he wants despair he’s currently creating enough of his own, and Monokuma looks at Byakuya like it’s all his fault and disappears.

“You’re amazing, Sakura!”

“As are you, Hina.”

“Just kiss already!”

He needs to be focusing on escaping, on matchmaking, on literally anything else but this, but his eyes caught Kyoko’s gloves and he, for some reason, cannot look away.

Why are the gloves doing it for him?!

Makoto asks him to sit next to him at lunch. He does. It does not mean anything. It’s fine.

Junko, or not Junko, comes clean.

So now everyone wants to leave even more. Or, at least, some people do.

Everyone else is cautious, worried about what might be hidden behind boarded up walls. They might be trapped here, but this could also be their safe haven.

And then Mukuro, because that's her real name, shows them tapes where they had agreed to hide here, pictures of times Byakuya doesn't remember, and he honestly wants to have a word with Monokuma now because is this the second time he had to get these idiots together?

Wait a second, is this the second time he had to matchmake himself?!

“Screw not killing anyone.” He growls, and Kyoko raises a brow. “I'm going to wrap my hands around Junko’s scrawny little neck!”

He doesn't, of course. Junko, the real Junko, doesn't show herself either. In fact, she tries to kill Mukuro for betraying her, but Mukuro is apparently expertly trained so she just dodges it all. 

Makoto has stars in his eyes. Byakuya suddenly feels very jealous.

(He does not matchmake her because she obviously needs therapy and the ability to love herself first.)

They start to try and figure ways out, and Monokuma-Junko opens the rest of the school, upset with how everything has gone but way too pleased with how much despair she herself has felt. She wants them to find all the clues because it will apparently fill them with despair.

It does.

But it doesn't really last for long, because half of the class is now committed to each other and love is a great way to cheer everyone up.

He's so unbelievably smug with how completely he's destroyed this killing game. Well, at least, he will be. After he's overcome his own despair induced haze. Someone is talking to him in low, gentle tones. He's both surprised and isn't when his vision clears to see Makoto, eyes wide and worried.

“Oh.” Byakuya blinks, looks around. Kyoko is kneeling nearby. Most of the others are crying and/or sloppily making out with each other. Hafumi is sketching one of the pairs, Hiro looks flabbergasted, and Celestia and Mukuro have already walked away, chatting amicably. “This is disgusting.”

“It's your fault.” Kyoko reminds him, smiling. And he guesses that, compared to murder, this wasn't all that bad.

Chapter Text

This is not the first time he's been kidnapped.

Nor is it the second.

He is Togami Byakuya, the heir of the Togami Corporation, of course he's been kidnapped before. Never to a tropical island, of course, but there's a first time for everything.

(Kyoko will never let him live this down.)

He awakes with a pounding headache and the stark realization of where he is, what's going on, and how he definitely should not be here. Especially since he's seeing a clone of himself, which could only be- “Really?”

The Ultimate Imposter looks like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh-”

Byakuya sighs. It would be easier to just roll with it. “I won't call you out, but you'll need a different name if we're pretending to be twins.”

And he doesn't do it for the Ultimate Imposter, no, he's doing it because Makoto is definitely watching and he doesn't want to upset him more than he probably already is.

So, how did he end up here?

It takes him a moment to remember - hooking the remnants of despair up into the simulation that Chihiro made. One of them, Kamukura, studied him a little too closely, hummed.

“You may ease my boredom.” He says.

And then he's fighting, throwing everyone from the future foundation out of the room besides Byakuya. And while Byakuya can defend himself, he can't against Mr. Ultimate Ultimate, so it doesn't take much for the man to push him into an extra pod.

And then he wakes up here, with a ton of despair remnants and Nanami Chiaki looking very confused as to why he's here.

Fuck Kamukura. He's going to punch his past form the moment he sees him.

He doesn't punch Hajime. 

There was a lot under wraps about the Kamukura project, but just by looking at Hajime he can tell that however he was turned into that it couldn't be pretty.

You may ease my boredom.

And how was he supposed to do that? Not like his Ultimate will be much help here - and if he really wanted something special wouldn't he go after the Ultimate Hope?

(Byakuya will never admit that he's happy he's in here and not Makoto.)

His thoughts get cut off when, of course, Monokuma makes his presence known and Byakuya finds himself in another killing game.

It's all following the same beats. 

Same game, different location, same bear, no Junko. When Monokuma sees him the bear instantly tries to kill him, only for Usami to throw the rulebook at him and save Byakuya’s life. By the end of their fight Byakuya's come to the realization that Kamukura must have smuggled something into this simulation, so why would he also bring Byakuya in? Did he think this wouldn't be entertaining enough?

Nagito (the remnant they were most worried about rehabilitating) is already falling back into his hope/despair haze. It probably didn't help that in the regular world he was going through medical treatment for his diseases. His ultimate luck is very volatile, but they're hoping they can make progress as long as Makoto is there.

Gundam makes a weird sound. A hamster somehow lands on Byakuya's shoulder. Sonia is suddenly in front of him. “Oh, such a dashing little creature!”

“How dare you take one of my dark devas!” Gundam sprints over, arms raised. The hamster jumps into his gasp and rejoins its pals.

“Oh.” Sonia turns to him with sparkles in her eyes. “You raise hamsters? Amazing!”

“A-amazing?” Gundam asks, blushes and grins. “These are my dark devas of destruction! Tremble before their might!”

Sonia starts cooing. Byakuya looks between the two of them.

You may ease my boredom.

…shit.

If anyone came into his cottage (an extra one added by Chihiro, he imagines) they'd think him crazy. Mostly because two walls were covered in headshots of the remnants of despair, and Byakuya had strings connecting through pairs.

Chiaki sits at the edge of his bed and takes it all in. “Hm.” She says. “Is this what my parent was talking about?”

“What?” Byakuya asks, having to remember that this isn't the Chiaki he saw around school, but just a computer program. “What about Chihiro?”

“They told me that in your killing game, you earned a second Ultimate by going around and matchmaking everyone.”

Ah, yes, that was exposed by a drunk Makoto a while ago. No one believed him at first, but then Kyoko backed it up and Sayaka mentioned how he knew about her and Leon, and the rest is history.

He scoffs. “It worked the first time.”

She hums, studies his board. “Nekomaru and Akane are more platonic I feel.”

“Of course.” That's why their string is blue. “There will be less aggression if everyone has someone to connect with, romantically or not.”

With that, he looks over his pairs one last time and gets to work.

Firstly, Fuyuhiko is being a recluse, which will not help anyone, and since he is the Ultimate Yakuza he should probably make sure neither he nor Peko try to kill anyone.

His solution is simple enough - as he and Chiaki pass by Fuyuhiko’s cottage he loudly proclaims that he's smitten with Peko and that he will pursue her romantically. Twenty minutes later at dinner Fuyuhiko is sitting next to Peko and glaring daggers at both him and the Ultimate Imposter. He doesn't know which one of them proclaimed their love.

Even with the threat of murder on the horizon everyone seems to be in pretty good moods, happy to ignore Monokuma and persist through the power of friendship. Byakuya, before they leave the cottage, asks Chiaki to try and get a message to Chihiro, to see if they can watch the cameras and warn him if anyone was about to commit murder.

Then he finds Sonia. “Miss Nevermind?”

“Oh, Mr. Togami!” She giggles, the perfect picture of a princess. “What can I help you with?”

“I believe I will be helping you.” It feels strange, falling back into his role of affluent progeny after so long away from it. “Word of advice, Miss Nevermind - animal breeders are very obtuse; you cannot be subtle in your advances.”

“H-hey, why are you talking to Miss Sonia!”

They both scatter before the pink haired mechanic can reach them.

He's sure Sonia can handle the rest.

Hajime finds out that they were put on this island by the Future Foundation. They now believe that the Foundation is the bad guy, and that there's a traitor in their midst. Byakuya was debating just telling them the truth when his vision goes technicolored and when he looks at Nagito he sees blood on his hands.

Huh, not the sign he was expecting.

To kill two birds with one stone, he walks up to Nagito and says, “You like hope a lot, right?”

Nagito’s eyes sparkled. He hugs himself, his arms luckily the ones he was born with. “Doesn't everyone? How could we survive without it?”

“...sure.” Therapy, he needs so much therapy. As does Mikan. They all need it, but those two the most. “Anyway, I know someone with the talent of hope.”

And Nagito bombards him with questions, but Byakuya holds up a hand. “He didn't start out with that talent, no; but he was a specific type of person. In fact, he's very similar to Hajime.”

Both Makoto and Kamukura have the ‘title’ of Ultimate Hope, so it's not a complete lie. 

“Incredible.” Nagito breathes. “How can we make Hajime our hope?”

“We can't make him do anything.” Byakuya says quickly, realizing that Nagito might kill someone if he thinks that would do it. “Hajime has to get there on his own - trying to manipulate him might crush his potential.”

And Nagito's a smart guy, but he's stupid when it comes to hope, so he nods like an excited puppy. “How did the person you know gain this amazing talent?”

“...he had his friends.” Byakuya says, surprisingly genuine. “His partners. They gave him love, they gave him faith in a better future.”

(Kyoko is absolutely going to make fun of him.)

Nagito beams. “I'll become Hajime’s friend then!” He says and goes off. Byakuya lets him, goes to where he last saw Hajime, who's currently third wheeling Sonia and Gundam. “Yo Hinata.”

“Byakuya?” Hajime seems startled to see him, or maybe he just didn't know if it was him or the Imposter. “Is something wrong?”

“Yep.” He claps his shoulder, leans in close. “I need you to stick close to Nagito, watch over him for me.”

Hajime's nose wrinkles. “Why would I do that? Nagito is…”

A broken person that needs more help than anyone could ever give him, but they have to try. “I believe he could kill someone if left alone.”

Hajime's eyes widened. “Why ask me to do this?”

“Because you seem like a good person.” When Byakuya blinks, he sees Kamukura holding him down, forcing him into the pod. “And everyone deserves a friend, even Nagito.”

He's a big fat liar, and when several days pass of no killing and in the middle of the night he catches Hajime and Nagito stargazing of all things he can't help but be smug.

(Monokuma yells about how this is the second time this has happened. No one understands but him.)

There's another motive, some type of video game. Chiaki plays through it, gives him the gist of it all, and Byakuya sets Nekomaru and Akane on protection detail in case the tiny Yakuza decides to do something. He doesn't, Byakuya doesn't think he even plays the game, because he and Peko are too busy being happy that they can hang out not as master and soldier, but just two teenagers.

The next motive is not as easy.

Usami forces open the new islands with the help of Chihiro, who he knows is valiantly fighting the virus that's taken over the program. It's perfect timing too, as despair viruses almost kill Nagito, who is still insanely sick. Hajime runs a trench into the floor with his worry, pacing back and forth with his hands in his hair, currently being comforted by Chiaki. Hiyoko and the Imposter also got sick, so they're all confined to the hospital with a frantic Mikan trying to keep them alive.

Byakuya helps out, because this is another motive, and he can't really be too surprised when his vision wavers and he sees Mikan drenched in blood. Then he blinks, she's normal once more and asking for a washcloth.

Later that night, she tries to kill him.

He's awake walking around the island, searching all over for some way to contact those on the outside. When that doesn't work he heads back to the hospital, keen on seeing if Hajime is still awake, when his gut tells him to drop and he listens to it.

A wood board hits the wall above him with a loud crack. He rolls to his feet just to find Mikan, eyes insanely wide and mouth stretched into an eerie grin. “You.” She says, recognition in her eyes.

Byakuya realizes, right then and there, that Mikan remembers him.

Heart pounding, he stumbles away when Mikan attacks again. While he's trained in self defense, he's not prepared for how frantic Mikan is, nor for her to aim for his leg, trying to cut through the tendons that allow him to walk with her splintered wooden board.

It works. He crumples to the ground.

“You ruined everything.” Milan hisses, as Byakuya looks for something to grab, something to defend himself with. Blood leaks along the ground. “My precious Junko, gone, because of you!”

His hand wraps around something. He chucks it at Mikan. Hears her scream in pain-pleasure as he tries to hobble away.

Doesn't get far, as a board slams into his back and he's suddenly being straddled. “Get the fuck-”

“Mikan!”

He's blinded by bright lights. Someone is pulling Mikan off of him. Hands on his shoulders, pulling him up. He meets Chiaki’s concerned eyes.

“What is the meaning of this?” Peko’s eyes are narrow, disgusted. Mikan struggles in her grasp. “You mean to go along with that bear’s perverted games?”

“Anything for her!” Mikan giggles, and everything they were trying to do is being ruined. “And it's all alright, he's the reason we're in here in the first place!”

And, well, there goes that.

He explains everything, everything, because it's the only thing he can do. The Tragedy, Junko, his own killing game and how they are remnants of despair, how they turned into such and how they were put in here to return them to their pre-despair state. He even goes into detail about the Kamukura project, because Hajime deserves to know.

They are, of course, livid.

In between the chorus of berating and screaming, Hajime asks what will happen to him, if he'll even exist after all of this. 

“Of course, why else would we even be doing this if the you right now would cease to exist afterwards?” 

And it might not be for the best reasons, but he's sure Hajime will be on his side, after that, even if everyone else is still angry.

“See?” Mikan hums. “He's trapped us in here, along with everyone else. He's the reason our beloved Junko is gone. We should kill him, make him feel the despair we all felt at her death!”

Everyone stills. Akane frowns. “Uh, no offense Mikan, but you sound unhinged.”

Byakuya nods. “That's what despair does to you. You all were like this - this program was kind of our last resort.”

“But it was… hijacked, somehow.” Fuyuhiko murmurs. “And now we're all fucking stuck?”

“At least we won't truly die, if we die in here.” Mahiru mumbles. “Right?”

Byakuya nods. Some of the tension lining everyone's shoulders seems to settle.

“So…” Sonia says tentatively. “If death isn't actually permanent, and you're sure those on the outside are working to help us escape… does that leave this killing game inept?”

Byakuya considers that for a moment. “... basically.”

Somewhere far away, he's sure he hears Monokuma scream.

He ropes Hajime into being an ultimate therapist, mostly by convincing him that he does indeed have Kamukura somewhere within him and thus can be a good therapist for Mikan. Chiaki backs him up and they are able to convince him to hang with Mikan an hour every day (she's currently locked up in her cottage, very unstable). He'll leave Chiaki in charge of how that's progressing.

In the meantime, he convinces Ibuki and Akane to have a performance with Hiyoko (now healthy from her despair disease) and Mahiru. They are completely pumped to do so, unaware that Byakuya's just using them to get the latter two together.

Then, one night before he goes to sleep, a hologram flickers to life in his room and he's only partially surprised to see Kyoko there. “Took you long enough.”

“This virus is impressive.” Kyoko’s voice is tinged with static. “We're only past its most outer defenses. We still don't know who's behind it.”

“Take your time.” Byakuya sighs, sarcastic. He looks at the ceiling, closes his eyes. “I have everything handled in here, at least.”

“We've noticed.” Kyoko's voice is tinged with amusement. “Tell me, is your default to relieve stress matchmaking?”

Byakuya does not blush, because he is proud of his skills. “It saved your life, did it not?”

Kyoko hums. He feels static touch his cheek, a soft kiss he can only partially feel. “Just a little while longer.”

He pretends like he's not comforted by that. “I'm sure the others are enjoying my absence, don't rush on my accord.”

“They miss you.” She says, simple. “Makoto is beside himself with worry.”

He smiles, fond. “Tell him that he's giving himself gray hairs.”

Kyoko doesn't respond. When he opens his eyes, the room is empty.

He spots Gundam and Sonia walking along the beach, both in wetsuits, and Sonia has a harpoon. It should look romantic, especially because the hamsters are playing sensual music, but Byakuya's too busy being utterly confused. He turns the opposite way to find Peko and Fuyuhiko… sparring, though not really. Now he’s just more confused, because at least his killing game everyone was more or less normal when they crushed on one another.

He turns a corner and finds Mahiru taking photos of a modelling Hiyoko. Both are fully clothed, and it seems innocent enough, but Byakuya feels like he just walked into something he shouldn’t have.

“Are you alright?”

He turns around (after running away from all the couples) to find Hajime, Nagito, and Chiaki behind him. Chiaki walks in the middle of all of them, concerned for him but face flushed in laughter. Byakuya studies the three of them for a moment, feels a tinge of sorrow.

The only thing he didn’t tell them about was Chiaki.

“I’m fine.” He says curtly, marching over to the cottages. He sits at the poolside and sighs, finally relaxing. The three of them follow him. “What do you want?”

“How is it?” Nagito has the face of someone about to start shit. “Knowing the Ultimate Hope?”

“Hey.” Chiaki elbows him. “He misses them, why would you bring that up?”

“You know an Ultimate Hope.” Byakuya gestures to Hajime. “And Makoto hates that title, so don’t use it when you meet him.”

Meet him again, he means. Nagito has already called Makoto Ultimate Hope to his face, much to Makoto’s discomfort.

Hajime flushes. “I-I’m not an Ultimate Hope.” He protests. “I don’t remember it at all.”

“And yet you’re still good at everything you do.” Byakuya murmurs. “Whatever you put your mind towards.” 

Then, a thought comes to mind.

“Given your abilities…” He starts. “Do you think you could build a robotic body with Soda, once we get out of here? The Ultimate Robotist died during the Tragedy.” 

Chiaki stares at him. For a short second, he sees hope in her eyes.

Hajime is about to ask for an explanation behind his wish, but then Nagito interrupts again. “How did you get through your killing game with no deaths?”

Because Byakuya is a genius. “Junko isn’t as smart as she portrays herself to be.”

He feels the world glitch, for a moment. Light shines above him, and he looks up to see a fading glowing neon sign, pointing right at him. ‘Ultimate Matchmaker’

Hajime looks confused. Nagito has a blank smile on his face, computing. Chiaki snorts.

Hajime blinks, realizes. “What a minute-”

Chapter Text

Well this just isn't fair.

“You-” Monokuma taps his nose, laughing as Byakuya struggles in his bonds. “Are going to stay right here, away from this killing game. Third time's the charm!”

Byakuya glares, and would give the bear a piece of his mind, if not for the duct tape over his mouth. This time he knows both Makoto and Kyoko are going to kill him. They have no control here, either.

Monokuma laughs again and disappears, leaving Byakuya alone in a dark locked room.

Ugh. This is starting to get very old.

So… it's happened again.

They got news of a new killing game starting up, one in place by people trying to monetize the entertainment value of watching kids kill each other. Byakuya and his classmates (if you could even call them that anymore - hell, they went to Hina and Sakura’s wedding last Thursday and Byakuya is the godfather of Leon and Sayaka’s children-) went to go figure out what's going on and how to stop it.

Apparently, they expected them. Or expected him, more accurately.

Because they expertly separated him from Makoto, and then had him watch as Byakuya got knocked out by some sleeping gas, completely unable to do anything to stop it.

Oh, he's so killing the mastermind behind this. Fuck pacifism, everyone forgot what Byakuya had to do to become the ultimate progeny. He earned this spot, had to dispose of many siblings to get it. He's not above getting his hands dirty.

And the person that made Makoto look at him like that, made him feel that type of fear…

Oh, Byakuya's killing them.

It's quiet for a while. Hours, probably. Byakuya waits for a while before growing bored. He's tied up pretty tight, but once again he's gone through worse, and it's not too hard for him to shuffle his way over to the door and start banging against it.

Hours pass. He continues to bang rhythmically against the door.

Then, something happens. The door opens. He's blinded by the light.

Half a dozen teenagers stare at him. Jaws start to drop.

“Oh my god.” A blond girl whispers, pushing back the blond boy that seemingly opened the door. “Oh my god, are you okay?!”

She pulls off the duct tape, as gentle as she can be. Byakuya coughs. “Are we where I think we are?”

They all look confused. A boy wearing a cap looks hesitant. “I feel like I recognize you…?”

“What do you mean, are we where you think we are?” The blond hair boy asks.

“I mean is this a killing game?” Byakuya reiterates, and the kids all tense. “I take that as a yes. Fuck.”

“D-do you know what's going on?!” Someone else speaks up, hidden in the back. The girl is able to release his bonds. Byakuya stands, rubbing his wrists.

“Somewhat.” He murmurs, on a mission this time. “Introductions can wait, but I'll tell you this. I'm Togami Byakuya, this is my third fucking killing game, and I'm getting tired of this bullshit.”

Everyone gathers in the kitchen. He's about to start when Monokuma pops out of nowhere. “You cannot interfere!”

“Fucking try to stop me.” He mutters, completely done with this bullshit. He raises his hand, shows off his wristband. “Just know that Chihiro and Hajime made a program that immediately gives away my location if my vitals spike, stop, or if this bracelet is forcibly removed. And I'm sure you don't want to deal with 30 Ultimates on your ass.”

Monokuma deflates, does an angry growl. Byakuya ignores him, continues. “And besides that, if you didn't want me involved then you shouldn't of kidnapped me. Or, and crazy idea, but you shouldn't have done another killing game! What, so far up Junko’s ass that you can't smell how shitty this is anymore?”

The cosplayer, Tsumugi, flinches. He takes note of that. Kokichi starts giggling. Monokuma looks like he's about to explode from anger.

“Um, Togami?” Kaede raises a hesitant hand. “This is your third killing game… what about the others?”

“They survived.” Shuichi speaks up. “I remember it… when we were kids and the Tragedy happened… they broadcasted it, right? And you all survived?”

“Indeed.” Byakuya nods as Monokuma continues to seethe. “And there was a second killing game, not publicized, that I was a part of. No one died there either.”

“H-how?”

“There's a reason Monokuma tried to keep me locked up.” Byakuya glances at a nearby camera, wonders if his class is watching right now. He crosses his arms and smirks, pushes his glasses up his nose. “I am the Ultimate Matchmaker, and to survive a killing game, you must make love, not war.”

The kids are all shocked by that, of course. Byakuya brings them all out to the grass to converse further. Then he goes around and talks to everyone, watches how they interact with each other.

He takes notes.

“Are you matchmaking us right now?” Shuichi asks, voice quiet. Byakuya nods. “Um, who am I with?”

He glances over at Kaede. Byakuya realizes that he's going to have to be subtle about this. Or just outright lie. “It's who you think it is. But for now, I need you to gather information for me.”

Shuichi smiles, before blinking. “What?”

Byakuya gestures out to the others. “Talk to Ryoma and Kokichi. I have a feeling those two will be hard to get through to for different reasons. Can you befriend them for me?”

Shuichi blinks, considers it. “It must be a lot, trying to figure this all out after getting kidnapped.” He decides, looking at Byakuya. He's easily the oldest here, an adult to a bunch of teenagers. “Now you have to look after us too, and it's your third killing game… don't worry, I'll befriend both of them!”

Shuichi goes off on his way, completely unaware that Byakuya just did to him what he did to Hajime. It's fine, Hajime is very happy with his life and his husband. It's for the best.

He then turns to the only person on the field not talking to anybody, staying to themselves. Maki glares daggers at him when he comes close. “Let's walk and talk.”

Maki is quiet as they move farther away from the others. It's only once they're farther away that she speaks. “I'm not interested in your talent.”

“No one ever is.” Byakuya waves it away. “But I do have interest in yours.”

Maki’s eyes harden. “How do you know?”

“We were looking for you, when we heard about Ultimates getting taken.” He shrugs. “Anyway, I know a serial killer, and they're surprisingly trustworthy, so I'm putting my faith in you.”

She looks suspicious. “You're trusting an assassin during a killing game?”

“It's because of that that I trust you.” Byakuya says. “Now, do you want me to get you out of here or not?”

Maki stares at him. After a few minutes, she nods.

“Good.” He says. “I need you to keep an eye on Tsumugi and Korekiyo. They both give me bad vibes.”

Maki frowns. “How so?”

“Tsumugi acted weird when I insulted Junko.” Byakuya starts. “And I already told you that I know a serial killer. I don't know why, but… just keep an eye on Korekiyo.”

Shuichi takes his job diligently. Which is good, because Ryoma needed a friend.

He leaves that to simmer and manages to befriend Tenko by talking about Sakura. Telling her about a woman-loving badass martial artist has her captivated, and if Sakura can tolerate Byakuya then Tenko must be able to too.

“Wait.” Tenko looks confused. “Your friend Sakura, and Asahina? They are married? But they are both women.”

“Yes, and?” Byakuya does not mention his own situation. “Women can marry women.”

She looks shocked. “Women can like other women like that?! Women can… kiss?”

Oh, poor sheltered child. “Yes, Tenko.”

She's gobsmacked. Angie skips over with a hum, draping herself over Tenko’s back. “And what are you two talking about?”

Tenko blushes bright red. “N-nothing!”

And there's that solved.

He convinces Gonta to ask everyone for a sleepover in the dorm area. Kaede thinks it's a great idea, and everyone follows her lead. Mattresses are dragged out of their rooms and laid across the lower floor of the dorm area. Which is great, cause Byakuya didn't have a room and now he can just squeeze in somewhere.

Everyone is up half the night, whispering and giggling and having a grand old time. He knows Monokuma and those in charge of the game are seething right now, but having Byakuya here has obviously made everyone feel more comfortable. He's a champion at this stuff, and they now know that people are coming to save them.

“Okay…” Everyone is telling stories, and it's his turn. “This might not be my third killing game.”

The happy atmosphere turns to dust. Byakuya smiles. “It's my seventh.”

“What?!”

He laughs. “So I explained the first two already, and I don't actually count three through six, because I was only in them for a day or two before my classmates stopped the games.”

The atmosphere went back to normal. Keebo looks intrigued. “Why do you keep on ending up in the killing game?”

Byakuya shrugs. “I guess I'm just very kidnappable.” What can he say, kidnappers love him. “If Junko was still alive, I'd probably be her favorite. The amount of despair I cause masterminds…”

Funnily enough, Mikan, in the midst of working through her issues, grew infatuated with Byakuya for a little while. It was apparently because he had caused her mistress ‘the most mind boggling despair she's ever felt in her last moments’. She said it like a compliment, but Byakuya doesn't like the fact that he may have indeed given Junko a despair orgasm as she died.

Tsumugi stares at the ground with a frown. There's definitely something going on with her.

Shuichi sneaks a glance at Kaede, who was sitting next to Rantaro in this sleepover layout. He looks like he's about to make his move, but then Kokichi takes his attention, sounding like an excited kid as he asks Shuichi to solve his riddle. Shuichi looks exasperated for a second, but as time passes and the riddle stays unsolved he grows intrigued.

Byakuya grins. Bingo.

Halfway through the night mostly everyone is asleep. Keebo and Miu are whispering near the wall about servos, and Gonta is fretting to Irumi about how to be a gentleman during a sleepover. Maki is faking sleep, body too tense, eyes occasionally flicking over to where Tsumugi and Korekiyo are. Byakuya's sure she's noticed it as well.

There's a yawn. Kaede raises her head, sees him awake. “Oh… is something wrong?”

Is someone about to die?  

He shakes his head. “Just thinking, you should go back to sleep.”

Kaede frowns, yawns again. “Y'know, you said that your talent stopped the killing game, and I'm sure you're matching us now… is there anyone you need help with?”

…Huh. He considers it, decides why not. “Irumi. It's not just romantic pairing, I like to make sure everyone at least has a friend.”

She smiles. “I can talk to Irumi, keep her company!”

“That would be appreciated.”

Kaede lays back down. Byakuya sighs. He didn't mention Tsumugi and Korekiyo, because he wanted to figure them out before pairing them up with anyone. They set off all his danger alarms, and besides Maki he didn't trust anyone near them.

Everyone else was fine. Ryoma and Gonta were the hardest, but Shuichi would be a good friend to anyone, and he couldn't imagine Gonta killing for any reason. Keebo and Miu were good together, as friends or something more. Kaito was loud and brazen and thick headed enough that he's sure he'd wear down Maki’s walls eventually, when the time came. Himiko is already always with Angie and Tenko, sleeping between the two currently. Only Irumi needed someone, and Kaede would be a good choice.

“Uh, Byakuya?” He turns to look at Kaede, who's still laying down. “Is uh, my match…”

She points at Rantaro, who's sleeping on the next mattress over. Byakuya nods. Kaede stares at him, cheeks flushing, before closing her eyes and rolling over.

He's very grouchy the next day, which is what he'll blame his actions on if anyone asks.

“Um, why did you want to speak to us?” Tsumugi looks worried. Korekiyo just looks curious. Byakuya’s pulled Tsumugi with him and invited himself into Korekiyo's room.

“I found something interesting in Shuichi's closet, and I wanted to see if they all had the same thing.” Byakuya starts walking over, every step sure. “And I realize I hadn't really talked to you guys, yet, so here we are.”

The closet is a decent size, a walk in just big enough for four people. Byakuya points up at the high shelf. “See it?”

Korekiyo walks into the closet to check. Tsumugi peeks her head in.

Byakuya is very grouchy. That's the excuse he's sticking with.

Tsumugi yelps when she is unceremoniously shoved into the closet, Byakuya shutting the door and dragging the bookshelf over to block it. Inside, he hears her screech. “What?!”

“Not to worry.” He calls back. “I'll let you out in time for dinner.”

“What is the meaning of this, Togami?” Korekiyo asks.

“I'm matchmaking.” Byakuya lies. “Haven't you ever heard of shoving a pair in the closet before?”

And then he leaves before they can figure out if he's lying or not.

Because, really, them? A pair? Byakuya wouldn't deserve his title as Ultimate Matchmaker if he seriously brought them together. That's a disappointment waiting to happen.

No, he needed the two wildcards out of the way so he could focus on everyone else without worry. Monokuma’s put a pause to motives, because if someone decides to kill him then everyone will come running and the game is ruined. Byakuya made it very clear that if someone tried to kill anyone, it needed to be him so that they could all escape before a class trial happened.

Now Monokuma is trying to figure out some kind of workaround, and Byakuya had until then to make some matches and also get the fuck out of here.

“Miu, for God's sake be gentle with him, and no giving him extra appendages!”

“Did you kill them?”

Byakuya's long gotten used to Toko, so Maki randomly appearing doesn't scare him. “I locked them in a closet together.”

Maki looks a little impressed. Then she frowns. “I'm still not interested in your talent.”

“Yeah, I know.” His lips tilted up into a smile. “But Kaito is.”

“Hey Maki Roll!”

Her glare is murderous. Kaito is somehow immune.

“Hey Gonta, I'm sure Ryoma would like to hear about your bug collection - help him get out of his head a little.”

“Why does my Shuichi think you're matching him with Kaede?”

Byakuya was reading in the library, because he wanted a few minutes of peace. That didn't last long. “I expected him to figure out I was lying, with him being the Ultimate Detective and all.”

Kokichi pouts. “That's not fair to him.”

He snorts. “My Ultimate Detective would have known immediately.” He pauses. “Hell, even my Ultimate Luck would have known after a bit.”

And here comes the deep pangs in his heart. He misses them.

“You've put me on the wrong foot.”

Byakuya looks back down at his book, gesturing to the door.

“Kokichi?” Shuichi comes in seconds later. “There you are - are you bothering Mr. Togami?”

He marches over and starts pulling Kokichi out of the room, much more bold after dealing with the little menace for the past few days. Kokichi cackles, suddenly much happier.

“No magic, Himiko, no sawing off parts of Tenko, Angie you cannot paint the carnage-”

He's in a daycare full of children and he's the only attendant.

“Kirumi is very kind.” Kaede, the only one Byakuya can actually tolerate, finds him right before dinner. “I think she's overworked, though. Do you know an Ultimate Therapist?”

“I know all the Ultimates.” He says bluntly, which is a lie. He knows Hajime, who is every Ultimate, so close enough. “We'll get that set up.”

“Oh, good!” Kaede beams. “Because Kirumi told me that some of her clients make her work without breaks and sometimes without sleep and she thought that was okay because it meant she could be the best maid possible-”

If this isn't his last killing game, he's going to make it easy on them all and just shoot himself.

“I leave you alone for a few hours and… why are you both bloody? Oh God, you matched each other's freaks.”

So, Korekiyo and Tsumugi are confined to their rooms for the foreseeable future. Whatever knife play dominance bondage fight they were having was disturbing enough that everyone else just decided to nip it in the bud before they decide to go further. Seeing Tsumugi smile her normal innocent smile while drenched in Korekiyo's and her own blood was demented.

But it wasn't all for not, because Tenko kisses Angie and Keebo blushes up a storm before grabbing Miu’s hand under the table. Miu follows closely behind in the blush department.

That's a new speed record, if he does say so himself.

He thinks Monokuma can see exactly what he's doing because everyone’s hanging out in the gym when an exisal appears from nowhere and nearly crushes him. He jumps out of the way at the last second, and the exisal has a grabby arm now, because he's suddenly been grabbed. “What the-?”

“Hey!” Kaito's the one that speaks up first, pointing at the exisal. “Let him go!”

“Nuh uh!” One of the Monokubs said. “He's interfering way too much, so we're removing him!”

Oh, they finally found a loophole. Took them long enough, it was pretty obvious to him from the beginning.

“You can't do that!” Kaede shouts, squaring up to the exisal in a way that makes Byakuya miss his reckless youth. He bangs against the metal clamps holding him and curses his life and luck. “Put him down!”

The exisal ignores her, and looks like it's about to go off to god knows where with him in tow. He prepared for a long and comfortable time either tied up or in a prison cell, when he hears the tap of shoes against metal and suddenly Maki is balancing on the clamp right next to him. “You do care.”

“Shut up.” She jams a butter knife into an open screw and loosens it enough for Byakuya to slip through. The exisal groans in frustration as he falls to the ground with a roll.

“You've tampered with the exisal!” The kub sounds almost joyful at that fact. Maki glares. “You could be punished for that!”

It raises its gun. Byakuya steps in front of the girl, eyes hard. “You interfered far past your bounds as a game warden, she was merely reacting to your own breaking of the rules.”

He hears Monokuma’s annoying laugh and finds him perching on the exisal’s shoulder. “You're not a part of this game, so there was no interference!”

Welp, Byakuya's had enough of this. “If you harm any of these kids I will slit my own throat open, and then you'll have to deal with my people hunting you down for the rest of your pathetic and dramatically shortened life.”

Monokuma pauses. He stares at Byakuya. Byakuya, who has a very good just try me face.

The exisal rumbles away. Several kids come over to fret over him. Kaito's face is plum red as he takes in Maki. “That… that was-”

Well, he didn't expect his near kidnapping to bring them closer together. The things he does for his craft.

Kokichi is stealing kisses. Byakuya doesn't witness it, but he sees the aftermath of it. Shuichi, surprisingly, doesn't look betrayed when he sees Kaede and Rantaro leaning against one another. Maybe he already figured it out, Ultimate Detective style.

They're all eating dinner, and he's sure someone's about to confess their undying love when the building shakes and rumbles. Byakuya is immediately standing. He was getting tired of sleeping on the dorm floor. “Finally!”

He marches outside, the kids following, and spots Peko first, slicing through an exisal with ease. “You are more wanted than my master.”

“Damn straight.” He replies, marching past her. There's a plume of smoke, the wall now destroyed. A figure steps from the smoke just in time to be captured in a hug. “Took your fucking time.”

“Hello to you too.” Makoto is beaming, he can tell, even with his face hidden in Byakuya's chest. Arms wrap around him as well. “Please stop getting kidnapped.”

There's a shriek of piercing laughter. He just knows that walking genocidal maniac is having fun cutting exisals up with the new scissors Soda made for her. “Maybe we should retire.”

“No rest for the wicked.” Another voice, and he feels Kyoko's hand rest on his shoulder. “Will you now allow us to add a constant tracker?”

He wanted his privacy, but honestly he's just being stubborn. “Yeah yeah.”

More figures appear from the smoke. His friends rush to his rescue, guiding the kids to safety and destroying the last remains of the killing game. Byakuya watches everything with a passive expression. Slowly, his lips tilt up into a smirk.

Kyoko notices it first. “No-”

“Maybe I should be the Ultimate Hope, hm?” He's very smug. “How many games have you stopped, Makoto? One? Well-”

A hand grips his tie. Kyoko pulls him close. “Smug bastard.” She murmurs against his lips. “Amazing matchmaking, did you just so happen to decide that you should have two partners instead of one?”

“How dare-” He is a perfectionist- “I would never sully the sacred art of what I do for my own benefit!”

Makoto laughs, kisses him when Kyoko pulls back. “Sure, Byakuya. Let's go home.”

He spends the entire journey home talking about his second Ultimate. His partners let him chatter about it with fond looks on their faces.