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Chapter Text

Davrin was carving the wyvern he’d taken out on his way back to Weisshaupt. Antoine and Evka were plotting some sort of expedition to who knew where, and he listened to their back and forth. It washed over him, the familiar sights and smells of the old fortress. It was bustling, hot, dusty, and loud. The clamor was at its worst in the training yard, full of Junior Wardens just returned from their assignment, waiting for new orders. Davrin had been watching them as he worked.

One of them in particular.

The woman with the scars slashing jaggedly through her vallaslin. Mythal. The green was striking against the brown of her eyes, bright and full of mirth as she danced with another Junior Warden, wild curls flying as she grinned, daggers flashing. For a moment their eyes locked and she looked him up and down, smiling slowly at what she saw. But the other Warden closed, and she winked, back to ducking behind him.

“Her name’s Sihu. Clan Thorne.” Antoine said with a smile, working on a couple of explosives.

Davrin was carving, not looking at him, and carefully not looking at Sihu. “Oh?”

Then he remembered. She’d been blighted. Antoine had written to him. He and Evka had given her an emergency joining. But she’d chosen to stay.

“She’s the one that pissed off the First Warden on her first day?”

Evka chuckled. “Yeah, that’s her.”

Davrin did look at her then. She’d disarmed her opponent. Some Antivan Earl’s son. His eyes strayed to where one of the commanders was watching, frowning. An upstart Dalish elf making waves. She approached, reaching for her water skein, eyes drifting over Davrin’s again. Antoine gave Evka a smile Davrin wasn’t sure he liked.

“Sihu this is Davrin. Weisshaupt’s favorite monster hunter.”

She turned to him, extending her hand. “Favorite monster hunter of the Grey Wardens? You must be a good hunter.”

Davrin took it, hanging a moment longer than necessary. “I’m a very good hunter.”

Her smile was slow, flickering, her eyes bright and yeah, he was charmed by her. It’d be easy. Evka cleared her throat pointedly and Davrin dropped Sihu’s hand, picking his knife back up.

“What are you carving?” She sat on the stool next to Antoine’s worktable, cocking her head. She was genuinely asking, and that surprised him more.

“My quarry.” It was easier, to fall back into old habits, than to try to explain.

She grinned. “And what is your quarry?”

He looked over his shoulder. Antoine and Evka had were too involved with their conversation with each other to pay them any mind. Davrin turned to her.

“I’m thinking another Warden with a penchant for trouble.”

“Oh? And how would you hunt such a creature?” Her eyes danced.

Part of him hesitated. Long enough for one of the other Junior Wardens to call her name, her attention snapping from him back to the training yard. A flash of disappointment as she got to her feet. But, it was probably for the b-

“I’ll see you around, Davrin.” She said with a slow smile, gesturing to the carving. “At least so I can see what you’re actually making.”

Then she strutted off, knowing damn well he was watching his stomach flipped watching her go. Evka had rejoined him with a smug little smile.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just careful with that one.” She laughed.

Antoine was back at his worktable. “She bites.”

~~

It wasn’t long after that he saw her again. Davrin had even, successfully, got her out of his head. Or so he told himself. She was tucked up in one of the griffon statues, out of sight, sketching in a worn book, tongue between her teeth.

“What’re you drawing?” He paused, despite knowing better.

She jumped, shaking her head when she saw him. “Fenedhis. Do you sneak up on everybody?”

“Comes with the territory. I told you; I’m a good hunter.”

Sihu snorted and held up her notebook. “You really want to know?”

“You know you could come down here, so we don’t have to shout at each other.”  

“I don’t know. If I make it too easy on you, you might get bored.” Her eyes alone were going to be the death of him he thought.

Davrin put his hands in his hips. “I could come up there.”

“Might be a bit too challenging for a Senior Warden.”

“What does that mean?” He started climbing.

She just chuckled as he came to rest next to her on the grffon’s back, nestled together between the winds. Davrin glanced around.

“Why up here?”

Sihu shrugged. The afternoon sun caught the gold highlights in her brown hair, born from years in the sun. Dalish alright. She gestured to his vallaslin, as if catching that his eyes were tracing hers, his fingers itching to try. He definitely should know better by now.

“Andruil eh?”

Davrin laughed at the Fen’harel tattoo trailing green and purple swirls down her arm. “Can’t say I’ve seen that before.”

“Ah. We do them all over. I was meant to be a Keeper.” She’d turned back to her sketching, working quickly.

He tried to peer at it, but she clutched it to her chest. “No. Not until you tell me what you’re carving.”

“You can’t want to know that badly.”

“Then neither do you. You didn’t answer my question.” She tapped her own forehead with her finger.

Davrin couldn’t help but be charmed by her. That was why it was a bad idea to climb up here.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Sihu tilted her head, examining him closer than he liked. “You’re not like other hunters.”

“You know me so well huh?” Davrin was more amused by the thought than anything.

“I mean you have yet to whip at a kill and show it to me while I’m eating breakfast so I may be wrong.”

She shrugged, continuing to look at his face, then back in her book. When he chuckled at the thought she sighed.

“It happens more often than you’d think.”

Davrin reached into his pocket, and she held up the book as a shield. He chuckled again.

“So, the dead rabbit I was going to bring you tomorrow?”

“Cook it first.” Sihu said with a wink, eyes going from his face to her sketchbook.

Davrin knew he wanted to kiss her then. The problem was she knew it too. That she’d probably let him.

“Think you’ve snared me, do you?” Her lips quirked, watching him with marked interest.

His eyes traced the scars on her arm, running through the Dread Wolf’s feet. The ones on her face, too new. Another Grey Warden, the odds against her. He pulled back.

“Not just yet.” Davrin gave her a smile, making to climb down.

“Ah wait.” She showed him the sketch and he froze, his face reflected back at him.

Oh, it was a very bad idea. Sihu then closed the book with a snap, moving to climb down herself.

“You drew me?”

Sihu laughed. “You’ve got an interesting face.”

He followed her down. “I don’t know if I like ‘interesting.’”

Her laugh chimed into the sunset. She had to walk back to the barracks, and he had to take his turn on watch. But it was a pair of doe eyes and the shameless flirt behind them he thought about the rest of the night.

And the next.

~~

Davrin had just missed the center by half an inch when Sihu took the target next to him, eyeing his handiwork with a critical eye. Sihu looked at him, gave him that pirate’s smile, and raised her bow. The way she did it, firing the arrow, and the shot hitting its mark, was effortless. It just made him want her more. She knew it, turning back, arching her brows. He did his best not to look at her, focusing. But he missed the center by a quarter of an inch, and she tossed her hair back, readying another arrow.

She hit her mark again, right next to the first, and he tightened his jaw, taking a deep breath. Center, and she whistled.

“Good shot.”

“I know.”

Sihu laughed. “So, you are a hunter. I was starting to wonder if it was just a rumor.”

“I-”

“Alright rabbit, time to run along.”

They both turned. The earl’s son only had eyes for her. Orleasian by the accent. Which meant he was Tannis’ whelp. Jona. His greasy friend had to nudge him in the ribs to get him to notice Davrin, all good humor gone as he eyed the two.

“Ah Senior Warden I didn’t see you there…” Jona’s sallow cheeks reddened, shaggy mustache drooping.

Davrin lowered is bow slowly. “Apologize, or we take it up with the First Warden.”

“My apologies Warden Davrin.”

Sihu folded her arms and Davrin waited. When Jona got it, he glowered.

“But Ser s-”

“Is an elf? Want to try that again?” He took a step forward and both of them almost stumbled over.

“Apologies Warden Sihu!” Jona and his friend ran.

Sihu started laughing. “You didn’t have to do that you know. It’s not the first time.”

That made him growl. “It’s not?”

“Ah well…the First Warden hasn’t done too much about it. His Da being such a huge benefactor.” Her brogue deepened.

Davrin sensed the tension the seemed to tighten the lines on her mouth. “I can-”

“I’d rather you didn’t, if it’s all the same to you.” The warmth had seeped from their conversation altogether.

He blinked. He’d missed something. Sihu had turned away and he frowned, taking a step forward.

“What happened?”

“It’s nothing.” She picked up her bow, slinging it on her back. “I’ll see you around.”

He was left to his own devices, puzzled. So, he went to Antoine and Evka, trying to figure it out. They were staring at a map of the Anderfels, whispering, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know their next plan. Antoine noticed him first, eyebrows arching in surprise. 

“Have you seen Sihu? She was supposed to meet us.”

“What are you getting her into?” Davrin frowned.

Evka snorted. “Nothing she didn’t ask for.”

“I’m going to teach her how to use these grenades I’ve been working on…” Antoine trailed off at Davrin’s look, with a shrug.

“I’m teaching her how to use them.” Evka insisted with a fond look at her husband.

He still didn’t know they did it. How they live with the fear of what could happen to the other. How they’d go on, if one of them heard the Calling before the other.

“Tannis’ spawn is hounding her. Called her ‘rabbit’ right in front of me.” Davrin bit back another growl, just barely.

Antoine started forward and Evka put a hand on his arm. Davrin waited as she soothed him that way she had, her eyes flashing.

“She rejected him. He was pushing her pretty hard because of his family name.”

Davrin growled. “The First Warden-”

“Said it wasn’t his business and to sort it out on her own.” Evka said with a finality that made him turn from her.

Only to see Sihu walking up with her rucksack, frowning when she saw the looks on the three of their faces. She sighed, decidedly avoiding Davrin’s gaze.

“You told him.” Her voice was resolute.

“You don’t have to put up with-” She held up a hand to cut him off.

Antoine put a hand on her shoulder. “Sihu…”

She shook her head. “Aren’t we meeting the others? We should go before it gets too hot.”

Davrin took the hint then, even more thrown. He decided he’d been at Weissahupt a bit too long himself.

~~

Before he made the final push back to Weisshaupt two weeks later, he stopped at the last village with an inn. It's only regular patrons were Wardens. It was near sundown, and he was dusty and thirsty from the road, another skull in his bag to preserve, humming to himself as he made his way back to the barracks, nothing on his mind in particular except for a bath and ale. Certainly not seeing Antoine, Evka, and Sihu with their squad. He pointedly didn’t look their way until he secured a room and gone up for that bath. It gave him to lecture himself about getting involved with another Warden again.

Thankfully, once he went to their table, the Wicked Grace game was in full swing. Antoine had dealt, waving Davrin to the seat next to him with a smile. Sihu glanced up at him over her cards, smiling, whatever ice that might still have been between them thawing.

“Want in Davrin?” Her eyes gleamed and he wondered again at her.

“Sure.” He got to work on his own ale, trying to focus on his cards.

He was entirely unsuccessful, losing two hands in a row before he finally started to catch on. It was the sly look Evka gave Antoine. The rest of the squad made low bets. Davrin caught Sihu’s eye, and her smile was guileless. He leaned forward on his elbows, not backing down. That only made her bite her lip and she raised her bet.

“You’re that confident?” Davrin arched his brow.

“Aren’t you?” Was the challenge. “Strike true or waver.”

Their eyes locked. He raised his bet, because he’d never learned the first time. Sihu lay her cards on the table and Davrin laughed. She’d crushed him.

“We probably should have warned you.” Evka sounded like she had never intended to warn him at all, actually.

Antoine laughed, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. “Sihu cheats.”

“You have yet to prove that.” Sihu winked and took Davrin’s money.

They played again but Sihu wasn’t allowed to bet anymore. She still won. The others slowly drifted off and even though she cheated at Wicked Grace and he knew better he found himself lingering, exchanging stories. It was just the two of them and neither were in any hurry to leave.

“So you fell out of the tree…” Davrin waited, pleasantly buzzed.

Sihu gestured, her brogue deepening the more ale she drank. Then her hand went to his knee and the simple contact sparked through his blood and he was caught.

“I fell out of this tree. Snapped my wee leg like a twig.”

“Sihu.” He put his hand over hers and her cheeks were ruddy and her eyes bright. “That’s not funny.”

“No it’s hilarious. I was stuck in bed all winter!” Her voice dropped to whisper, eyes widening. “With my mother.”  

Davrin chuckled as her fingers traced the embroidery on his shirt. He reached up to stroke her jaw and her eyes fluttered closed and his breath hitched at the sight. He cupped her face and let his thumb sweep over her cheek.

“This is a bad idea.”

Sihu’s eyes met his and she smiled. “What if I’m okay with that?”

He drank her in, letting his hand fall to her neck, strands of tangled curls brushing over his hand.

“It…it has to be casual. It can’t be more than that.”

“Davrin.” She leaned forward, running her hands over her shoulders. “Kiss me.”

He did, bringing her close, her lips full and the delighted gasp she gave had him gripping her hip. He drank in every sigh, held her tighter when she bit her lip, lost himself in the feel of her soft lips and clever hands. Davrin kissed Sihu until they were both breathless, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Come upstairs with me?” He breathed her in, ale and woodsmoke and pine oil.

Sihu smiled against his lips. “Lead the way.”  

Chapter Text

Sihu knew he thought it was a bad idea. She might have agreed with him an hour ago. Now with his lips on her neck and his teeth nipping her ear and his hand undoing her belt so it slid from her waist. Sihu pressed her hands to his chest and flipped them so his back was to the wall, gathering the hem of his shirt and slipping over his head. He watched her hungrily as she slid her hands over his body, trying to memorize each sound he made. Something gave her away and he paused.

“Wait…have you done this before?”

Sihu paused as he ran his hand up her arms, tilting his head. She bit her lip.

“I have…but never just casually. And never with a man.”

Davrin did what she’d been afraid of, pulled away. “Were you going to tell me?”

She didn’t follow, leaning on the wall herself, body taut. “It…hadn’t come up.”

“Just. We should talk it through first. It is different.” He seemed like he was holding himself back, his eyes unbearably gentle.

It was what had drawn her in. That a man with that many scars and steel for a spine could be that gentle. Sihu sighed.

“Alright. But I do want to. I just might need a minute to catch up.”

Davrin chuckled. “I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about the casual part. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m starting to like you too much.”

That did something funny to her heart that she decidedly didn’t want to examine too closely. Sihu put her hands flat on the wall, nodding.

“I’m not looking for anything more Davrin. I promise. Only some fun with a friend if he’s willing.”

 She grinned, pleased he hadn’t put his shirt back on. He knew what she was thinking, and his smile was full of promise.

“Fun with a friend huh?” He turned his head thinking about it. “Alright. I can do that.”

“I thought you were going to climb out of the window.” Sihu laughed, not moving, only arching her brows.

His chuckle was warm and low and shot straight to her belly. “I thought about it.”

“Oh yeah?” Sihu murmured, watching him closely as he walked towards the bed.

When he sat down Davrin patted his lap. “Come here.”

She pulled her shirt off first and straddled his lap as he kissed her again, his hands running up to remove her small clothes. His calloused hands ran over her breast and his mouth trailed down to her neck, her shoulders, her chest. He took a nipple into his mouth, glancing up as she ran her fingers through his hair, moaning against him. His other hand splayed over her back, encouraging her to lean into his ministrations. When he moved to the other breast she ground down on him and his cock jumped against her and he moved both hands to her hips.

“Feel how hard I am for you?” His smile was smug.

Her pussy throbbed and she tried to do it again and he lay her down, slotting a leg between her thighs for her to grind on as he kissed her properly again, before whispering in her ear.

“I want to taste you.”

“Please.”

He nibbled at her ear again. She writhed against his leg and he groaned, unlacing her pants and pulling them down, shucking them irreverently and sliding down her body. He sucked a bite into her thigh and looked up at her again, always watching for her responses, studying her and it only made her want him more.

“Davrin please. Please.”

He cursed and ran his tongue over her folds and her hand was in his hair again, bucking against him as he found her clit, licking slowly. His pace was torture and he knew it, his hand running over her, soothing her as she tried to press herself against him. Davrin carried on, until Sihu was breathy and desperate. When he paused to look up, he smiled.

“You look good like this.”

“Davrin.” Sihu tried to sit up and he laughed, returning to the task at hand.

His thumb took over as his tongue went deeper, and she could feel her peak rising, gasping against him.

“I’m gonna-”

Finally he sped up and she fell apart, crying out his name and that only made him increase the pressure. When she finally came down, he had climbed back up to her, entirely too pleased with himself as he captured her lips again, his fingers going back to her clit as she tasted herself on him, bright and salty and she moaned to his infuriating chuckle.

“Get inside me already.”

He barked a laugh and kissed her again, sliding a finger inside of her. When she growled, he slid in two and sucked another bite into her collarbone.

“So demanding.”

“You know…I meant your cock.” She moaned as his other hand went to her breast again, thumb circling her nipple.

“I know.” He increased his pace and she groaned. “Davrin.”

Davrin finally pulled out, licking his fingers clean to drive her crazy and he smirked, finally finally losing his pants and sliding up her body again, whispering in her ear.

“You say the word and we stop.”

Sihu reached up to cup his face, sliding a thumb over his lips. He took it in between his teeth and she smiled. “You say the word and we stop.”

He blinked, then moved to slide the head of his dick over her entrance, unable to resist tormenting her one more time.

“Tease.”

That only made him do it longer, Sihu was certain. Then he finally gave her what she wanted, easing in so she could get used to him. The delicious stretch made her arch again him, hot and wanting and he pressed open-mouthed kisses to her neck.

“Sy damn you feel so good.”

Sihu wrapped her legs around his hips at the diminutive. “Dav move.” 

“Not yet. Just want to feel you for a moment.” Davrin continued kissing down her neck, another bite and she felt her walls flex around him and he moaned with her.

Then, blessedly, Davrin began to move, letting her hips rise to meet his. His hands interlaced with hers as he pressed her into the mattress and her senses were full of him, her toes curling and her body singing for him.

“Cum with me beautiful.”

Davrin breathed into her neck and she moaned and did as he asked, her release crashing over her as he let go, losing all rhythm before he pulled out and came on her stomach and hips. Sihu lay back, boneless as he came to rest on his side, head propped up to study her, smile all too knowing and it tugged at something inside her. Davrin’s hand came to her hip again, running it over her feverish skin as she relaxed. He kissed her softly and got back up, not allowing himself even a moment to relax before finding a cloth to clean them up with. He did that with the same care as he had everything else. 

“How do you feel?” He seemed tentative almost.

Sihu propped herself up on her elbows to watch him, mouth quirking. “Pretty grand actually. Yourself?”

Davrin relaxed visibly, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me.”

“I didn’t want to miss out on.” She gestured to all of him and he snorted. “I had a nice time.”

“I did too.” He eyed her, brown eyes liquid in the lamplight, studying her carefully. “Want to do it again sometime?”

Sihu sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, the most relaxed she’d been in months. Davrin seemed like he was holding his breath, and she wondered about him again.

“I’d love to.”

His smoldering smile was all the answer she needed, and she was glad for it. But she thought again of what it was that was making him so skittish about all of this. She got dressed while he watched from the bed, seeming like he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Sihu kissed his cheek before she turned for the door, tracing the scar over his eye gently then turning away.

“Don’t overthink it. I’ll see you for breakfast.”

“Sleep tight.” That low timbre of his voice sent a shiver down her spine, and she left, if a tad reluctantly.

~~

Sure enough, he skedaddled before breakfast and Sihu her lip to try to keep from smiling when Antoine sat down next to her, shoving potatoes and a ration of bacon her way, tilting his head.

“Interesting bruise on your neck Junior Warden.”

Heat flushed up her skin and neck and she threw a potato at him which Evka caught cleanly out of the air, returning it. “You and Davrin have a good time?”

“Urgh don’t tell anyone.” Sihu groaned, burying her face in her hand as the rest of their squadron filtered in. It was already past dawn.

“Your secret is safe with us.” Antoine assured her, patting her back.

Evka snorted and they finished eating quickly. Sihu had been glad for the distraction. Thinking about Davrin all night had kept her from thinking about their return and having to deal with Jona and his ilk. To the First Warden’s probable ire with her for ‘making trouble.’ If she stabbed her potato extra hard, her friends didn’t say anything.

“So?” Kab jostled her as they approached the fortress.

“What?” Sihu panted slightly going up the hill, eyes straining to catch sight of the gate.

Myrna threw an arm around her shoulders. “Tell us about your night.”

“Does everyone know already?”

Sihu snorted and poked him in the ribs. Kab was the type to laugh with his whole body, tilting his head back. A hyena’s laugh Sihu was pretty sure she could hear for miles. This was the part that was good. This was the part she was glad she’d made it through training for. Most days.

“What was it like?” Myrna whispered in her ear.

Kab skipped ahead. “You’re making her blush.”

“Don’t the two of you have anything better to talk about?” But her cheeks did feel hot.

Only it was Jonas waiting for them, sneering at Sihu in particular. Evka walked close to him though, hammer easy on her shoulder, and he backed off, if only to look down his nose at her. That made Sihu bristle and Myrna grabbed her shoulder. Antoine reach over to him and corrected a strap on his uniform, clucking his tongue.

“Ah we can’t have you looking sloppy. What would your father think?”

Sihu gaped at him. Antoine put his arm around his wife and winked at her. Jona glared at her, eyes not leaving until they’d been swallowed by the old fortress, its jaws closing behind them. Antoine and Evka were pulled away to debrief with the First Warden and their Commander. Leaving the rest of them to clean their gear and sharpen their weapons. Free of her armor at last, Sihu wandered over to the kitchens to find food, only to find Jonas, harassing the recruit cleaning the kitchen. He towered over her, trying to take advantage of his human height over an elf.  

“What’s going on here eh?” She strode towards him.

He balked until he saw who it was, narrowing his eyes. “Mind your own business.”

The recruit slipped away, and Sihu’s hand itched for the dagger at her hip. It was Kab the stepped in, hand on her arm, head tilted. Kab came from a noble family too, but never spoke of it. Only it was enough for Jonas to think twice about picking a fight. He closed on Sihu though, eyes resting on her neck, giving her goose flesh as he brushed past her.

“We need to try the First Warden again. That man is a menace.”

She kept her eyes on him until he’d disappeared past the heavy doors, open to the dusty afternoon light.

“I’ll think of something.”

~~

Three days passed before Sihu actually got to talk to Davrin again. She’d see him at meal times and maybe in the training yard, and he’d smile warmly. But their squad had failed inspection again and the First Warden had declared that they needed extra drills. She barely had time to eat nor the energy to do much besides fall into her bed at night, the barracks hot and full of other snoring Junior Wardens.

It didn’t help that day by day, Jonas’ hatred of her only seemed to grow worse. Sabotaging her gear. Jeering at her in the training yard. Hassling her whenever his Commander’s back was turned. It came to a head that third day back, when Sihu’s arms were aching and legs were trembling as Kab charged her, just as tired. Evka was watching on, face pinched when Jonas arrived, fresh as a daisy and making a beeline for Sihu. She ignored him and sidestepped Kab as best she could, but he grazed her knee, just enough for it to buckle. She took advantage to bring her dull training blade to their femoral artery, enough for the match to be called. Kab helped her to her feet.

“Warden Thorne!” Jonas’ eyes glittered with malice. “How about a real fight?”

Sihu ignored the ache in her muscles, ignored Evka’s glare, deciding it was past time to knock some sense into him. Kab took up at her side, tilting his head and winking.  

“Draw.”

He picked up the heavy two-handed sword, taking advantage of his full height. The smirk as if he knew he’d win, worn as she was. Sihu forced a grin, taking her stance. Jonas charged full boar, intending to knock her into next week. Worse still, he’d done it before, months before, and it had worked.

But she’d learned. Sihu feinted then took a knee hard. He’d committed and his leg crashed into her, sending him sprawling into the dirt. The effort winded her but she got to her feet, hearing a familiar chuckle. Davrin had found Evka, and he was grinning at her. Evka too, was laughing. But there was a growl behind her and Davrin was running as Evka shouted a warning and she turned just in time as Jonas’ fist flew past her head. Sihu drove her fist into his stomach but her energy was sapped and he grabbed her arm, this time slapping her across the face hard enough she hit the dirt.

Davrin’s fist connected with Jonas’ nose and Sihu heard it crack as he went down, knowing better than to get back up. Davrin turned to her, offering her his hand, his eyes still flashing.  Her lip had split, she could feel the blood trickling down her chin. Her face burned and her eye watered. Another cut where the metal of his glove had cut open her temple. He cupped her jaw gently.

“Wardens! Stand down!”

The First Warden. Davrin growled, turning around. He put himself between her and the others. Jonas’ friends had gotten him to his feet, blood streaming from his nose.

“Get him to the infirmary! What are you waiting for?” The First Warden ordered them.

“Ser-” Davrin started.

He held his hand up. “I saw what happened. Warden Thorne that was a cowardly trick you pulled. A darkspawn doesn’t care how clever you are in a real fight.”

“Oh what a load of bollocks sir. He attacked me when my back was turned!” Sihu took a step forward and Davrin put his arm up.

“You’re on very thin ice. I’m tempted to add another round of drills.”

Evka got his attention. “Ser this has gone on long enough. Sihu did nothing wrong.”

“Warden Ivo come with me. We’ll continue this in private.”

Evka exhaled and looked to Sihu, pausing. “Are you alright?”

Sihu nodded. Davrin watched them go, before turning to her. His eyes had softened, but she saw the blood on his hand. He glanced at it, exhaling sharply.

“Come on. I can fix us both up.”

The rest of the squad had fallen into watch. But Sihu followed him without a word to them, not sure what to say. Myrna’s eyes were steely, her lip curled in a silent snarl. But she nodded her approval, before turning to the others heatedly.

~~

Davrin pressed the compress to her face and Sihu sighed, moving the handkerchief in her other hand to see if her lip had stopped bleeding. A couple spots of blood. An improvement at least. But she’d stopped shaking finally. Now she was just afraid she’d fall asleep in Davrin’s bed. He snorted.

“Better?”

“Much. Thank you. And for decking the bastard.” Sihu grinned even though it hurt.

His lips quirked but his body was still thrumming with energy. “Glad to be of service. Will you let me talk to the First Warden now?”

“No. Evka can handle him. I can handle Jonas. You start fighting my battles for me, when you’re gone he’ll come back two fold. Today is going to spur him on bad enough.”

Davrin frowned, sitting down on his bed besides her. Senior Wardens didn’t have to share rooms at Weisshaupt, but his room was barren but for some skulls in big jars half filled with sand, and a few utilitarian sketches of monsters. Sihu could feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.

“I don’t like this.” He sighed.

Sihu shrugged. “Hasn’t been my favorite day either.”

That seemed to take the wind out of his sails. He clasped his hands together, bowing his head.

“How do you feel?” Davrin tried.

“Who taught you to make this?” Sihu winked with her good eye.

He broke and smiled, chuckling. “My Uncle Eldrin. He’s not really my uncle though.”

“Well, my Ma isn’t really my Ma and my Da really isn’t my Da but you know how it goes.”

Davrin just stared at her, then shook his head. “Sihu I have no idea what that means.”

She waved her hand. “My Ma found me in the woods.”

“That…makes sense.”

Sihu laughed and elbowed him lightly, wincing when it pulled at her lip. “So your uncle isn’t really your uncle?”

“He’s a halla herder. Lives apart from the other clans up here. Thorny old bastard. He can drink me under the table.”

“I think I might like to see that actually.” Sihu checked the handkerchief again. Nothing.

She removed the compress, and it had taken the sting out. Davrin’s hand twitched and Sihu got to her feet, not wanting to wear out her welcome. Everything was starting to ache, and she just wanted to find her bed. A new kind of tension ran between them as their eyes met. He seemed ready to say something, then stopped. Sihu smiled.

“Thank you. I mean it.”

Davrin eyed her carefully, smile worn. “You’re welcome. Let’s not make a habit of it.”

“We can make a habit of other things.”

That got another chuckled out of him. “Go get some rest.”

“Yes, Senior Warden Davrin.”

He groaned as she let the door close behind her with a creak.

Chapter Text

The Anderfels weren’t known for being an easy place. Usually, Davrin thought they suited each other. But it was hotter than usual, the dust storm on the horizon pushing the temperature even higher. He picked up the pace, knowing the fortress would be hunkering down to ride it out. He made it just as the storm hit, already trying to scour his skin. On the way to his quarters he heard a cry, barely able to see his hand in front of his face. There was a shadow. His hand went for his sword. 

“Davrin?” He could barely hear her, but it was her.

He made his way towards her. “Sihu? What are you doing out here?”

Of all things, she laughed, closing and grabbing him. He led her inside, barring the door shut. He went to light the lamp so he could actually get a good look at her, ensure her injuries were still healing well. The First Warden had seen fit to put her on light duty, and he knew it was driving her crazy but it had also kept her away from Jonas while he’d been gone.

“There’s rags under the bed, help me out here, would you?” Davrin turned around. 

Sihu found them, but she’d found something else. One of his finished figures, one he’d decided he didn’t like. She handed him some rags and took the lower half of the door, the smile still on her face. He groaned.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She rose, eyes glittering with mischief. “Just it kind of looks like a nug.”

Davrin leaned forward and kissed her and she laughed into his mouth, arms around his neck. He lifted her and walked to the bed, slotting himself in between her legs.

“What were you doing out in the storm?” He asked, finding that spot under jaw that made her gasp and arch into him.

“Wasn’t it obvious? Hunting.”

He was already half hard, carding his fingers through her hair and grinding his hips against hers.

“You were waiting for me.” The thought stirred him further.

Sihu nipped at his lip and he captured her mouth again, her hands running over his ass and pressing him closer. Davrin knelt and reached for her belt, though he slid his hands up her firm thighs, reveling in the gasp she made. He recognized the hunger in her eyes. So far, he hadn’t been able to get enough of this. Sihu lifted her hips so he could slide her leathers and small clothes off, lifting her legs and going straight for her center, the moan she let out going straight to his cock. She was hot and slick, the sweetest noises falling from her lips as he drove his tongue deeper.

“Dav-ah I’m going t-”

He could tell, and he quickened the pace until she was crying out. Davrin didn’t stop until she shuddered and pulled back with a smile at her dazed look. Sihu slipped from his grasp suddenly, tugging him towards the bed. He laughed and toed off his boots, her hands on his belt, their kisses growing sloppier. Sihu broke to grab his pillow and he groaned at the sight, her perfect ass in full view, too distracted to take her shirt off, curls wild around her. He palmed himself, teasing her entrance.

“Dav.”

He ran his hands over her ass, still not sliding in, enjoying the needy protest in her throat.

“Say it again.”

“Dav. I want you. Please.”

He slid in, cursing at how slick she was, how good she felt, and the moan they both gave as he bottomed out.

“You’re so wet Sy. Miss me?”

She gasped again as he slid his fingers through hers, not quite ready to move yet, savoring the way her walls tightened around him again.

“Move.”

Davrin pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades. Another vallaslin, an owl and the moon, swirls of green and purple across her skin. Kissing her there made her shiver. Sihu pushed back against him and he nipped her ear, but he lost his self-control at her impatience and slid out, then all the way in with a snap of his hips that had her biting the pillow and made his spine tingle.

“Let me hear you.”

She did. She was so responsive, keening his name over and over and he lost himself. Sihu came first, gripping his fingers as her walls tightened and he followed her over, pulling out.  

“Sy.”

She knew. She knew what she did to him. She had to. Sihu rolled over to watch him follow his usual routine, cleaning them both up. Only, for the first time, he paused to watch her. There was a warm smile on her face as she watched him back. Davrin realized she might be stuck with him for a while all too late. Sihu seemed to realize it to, that it broke the silent rules of their agreement. She sat up slowly and he went to work, slower this time. When he’d finished he paused, hand on her thigh, studying her face. The bruises had faded in the time he'd been gone, a motley collection of green and purple. He reached up with his other hand to stroke her temple. Sihu’s smile faded.

“I should get going. I can find my way back…”

Davrin shook his head, letting his hand drop. “It’s not a good idea. Even for a few minutes. The barracks are too far. You shouldn’t be breathing the sand in.”

She tilted her head at him, and he could see her mind working, and he wasn’t sure it was a good idea either but he knew it was a better idea than letting her go out in the storm. Davrin grabbed her pants and she relented, smirking.

“Want to keep your catch close, eh?”

He snorted, finding his own and sliding them on. Sihu grabbed his pillow and curled around it and he let her, going to his desk and sitting down, pulling out his journal.

“Keeping track of our dalliances?”

She looked half-asleep, her eyelids heavy and he had to force himself to focus on the page.

“Yeah thought I’d keep a list for the First Warden.” He made it through three words before he turned to her again. “Working on a book.”

“A book huh? What kind of book?” She propped her chin up on her elbow, a curious look in her eye, surprising him again.

Davrin felt a warmth in his chest at the question that he didn’t like, but he was pleased all the same. He’d waited to long to answer. She bounded up, a hand on his shoulder, and he was all too aware of her as she leaned down to read.

“I didn’t say you could read it yet.”

“Can I read it?” She asked innocently, smile innocuous.

He was going to kiss her again before she left, he decided then and there. Davrin fought the urge to pull her into his lap. It amazed him, how badly he wanted her so soon after each time. He held himself back, his heart clenching when he remembered the last time he’d talked about the bestiary with anyone. Davrin wrapped his arm around Sihu instead, pulling her back to him, her delighted noise as he kissed her again could be enough.

It had to be.

~~

“No-no-run! RUN! Get the others!”

Davrin sat bolt upright, heart hammering. Sihu was murmuring, tossing around, and he reached over. She tried to jump out of bed and he braced her, calling to her.

“Sihu. Hey you’re safe. It’s me. It’s just a nightmare. You're safe.”

She froze, then her hands went to his arms, breath still coming fast. Sihu then pulled away, getting to her feet. Neither of them had gotten dressed that time, falling asleep in a tangle on the bed. The storm had blown out. He could see it, through the small cracks the cloths left behind. It was dawn, bloodred and arrived all too early. 

“I should get going.” She was already dressing.

Davrin hesitated, then deciding he couldn’t let her go that easy. “We can talk about it. I’m supposed to be your friend to.”

Sihu glanced up at him, her smile uneasy, not quite meeting her eyes. But she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, tracing his jaw.

“Best sleep I’ve gotten in weeks. I’ll be okay.”

It’d be so easy to reach up, stop her. Too easy. He gave her a smile of his own and wondered if it looked as forced as it felt.

“Glad to hear it. Nightmares and all.”

Sihu winked. “Worth it, all the same. See you later Davrin.”

“See you later.”

She left, and it was a relief of a sort. Yet the old hollowness soon crept over him as soon as the door closed. Alone. Even in a fortress full of other Grey Wardens, he was still alone. The thought drove him out of bed.

“Warden Davrin!”

The First Warden. Shit. He turned around, standing straighter.

“Yes Ser?”

“I’ve been waiting on your report.” He said firmly, his eyes flicking in the direction of Sihu, mouth curling unpleasantly.

Davrin’s stomach sank. The less the First Warden paid attention to Sihu, the better.

“It’s ready. I can give it to you now.”

“Just tell me if there was any sign of that, what was it? Dusk Screecher?”

Davrin sighed internally. He must have mentioned the name three times by now. “Gloom Howler Ser.”

“Right right.” He waved his hand. “That mess between Wardens Jonas. Why were you involved?”  

“What he did was cowardly and unprovoked. She beat him fair and square.” Davrin kept it short, though every part of him wanted to ask the man why Jonas was out of the dungeons already. He’d learned by now.

The First Warden harumphed, frowning. “Carry on.”

Davrin exhaled sharply, shaking his head. Things were getting murkier, and it unsettled him.

~~

Finn was back. Davrin greeted him with a hug and they sat down to dinner together, catching up. The wayward elf had gotten into another scrap, but he'd seemed to come through just fine. Antoine and Evka joined them, and Davrin didn’t notice he was looking for Sihu until Antoine cleared his throat and Evka laughed. Finn glanced at all of them questioningly then his eyes found her, widening.

“Oh he finally met someone!”

Davrin nearly threw a roll at him as she sat on the other side of Finn, and it was clear by her smug grin she’d heard.

“Nice to meet you I think. I’m Sihu.”

His smile was as full of mirth as hers, and Davrin wasn’t sure he liked the way Finn took her hand in his, holding it.

“Finn. The pleasure’s all mine.” Finn winked at her and she laughed.

That was the last thing he needed. The small spark of jealousy that he promptly buried back down where it belonged. It was how this worked. Eventually she’d meet someone else. Finn was a good man. Antoine turned to her with a frown.

“You weren’t at breakfast Sihu. Where have you been?”

They all turned to her. She fidgeted with her food. “I wasn’t feeling well.”

Davrin didn’t think a single one of them actually believed her, and him least of all. He hadn't seen her since the storm. Finn asked her about the Fen’harel vallaslin and they were off again, the moment forgotten. Evka and Antoine roped him in to talking about their next assignment. A possible darkspawn outbreak in a cave network out east. One he was familiar with.

“That was the last sighting of the Gloom Howler. It’s where I’m headed next.”

“Then it looks like you’re tagging along with us. We’re leaving tomorrow.” Evka gave him a winning smile. “Taking the whole flock.”

Sihu had turned back to them, her eyes meeting Davrin’s at last. Heat coursed through him. But it was tempered knowing they’d be around each other a lot if he went. A bad idea. Being distracted on a hunt. But if it was the Gloom Howler they’d be better off with him.

“Guess I’m leaving tomorrow too.”

Sihu opened her mouth to say something, smile on her face, when her eyes narrowed, and she spotted something over his shoulder. When Davrin turned he stiffened. Jonas, face still mottled and bruised from the fight. His nose was the worst of it. Davrin was glad. He clenched his fist to avoid getting up from the table. Antoine rose quietly. Sihu started, making to stop then when Evka stopped her.

“Don’t worry.”

The three of them watched on as Antoine approached him with what might have been a friendly smile. If you didn’t know him too well. He placed a hand on Jonas’ shoulder and Davrin turned to watch Sihu and she was watching him, and he wondered why she’d lied about where she’d been. When he looked back Jonas had turned around and left, one last glare at them until Antoine caught his eye again. He then sat down primly, and Davrin remembered he was Orleasian in full for a moment as Antoine kissed Evka on the cheek and kept eating. Evka was too lost in staring at him with pride. Finn laughed and went back to flirting with Sihu, but her eyes were still on Davrin. The weight of them was heavy.

Chapter Text

What Sihu most admired about Sunny was the dwarf’s penchant for flinging himself into battle much like a rockslide might slide down a mountain. Kab wasn’t far behind, gleefully chasing Davrin. Myrna stuck at her Sihu’s elbow, warding them all. She had to admit, she was eager for the fight too. After three days of marching through the Anderfels and Davrin keeping a careful distance, she was ready to kill something. But she stuck with her bow. Antoine and Evka had fallen behind to check on something, so when the darkspawn swarmed, it was just them.

Sihu had to give it to Sunny, he was no slouch. He managed to cover holes Davrin couldn’t, and Kab had room to slash through with his twin swords. Myrna’s wards seemed almost effortless, an unsettling smile on her face when she was able to catch a darkspawn with a flame. A hurlock got under Davrin’s guard somehow. Sihu found its eye. When the hurlock dropped Davrin’s eyes locked with hers. She winked as panic crossed his face. She sensed it and whirled as the genlocks reached them. Rook flung herself in between them and Myrna, not fast enough to avoid the slash across her ribs that bit through her armor and burned. But she kept her feet and drew her blades paid the darkspawn back and then some.

Davrin was there, snarling to get his shield in between the threat and the Junior Wardens. Sunny too, making a beeline for knees, covered in blood and ichor and evidently quite thrilled about it. They soon made quick worse of the rest. Once they had Sihu bent over, hands on her knees. Myrna was already looking for the wound.

“Are you alright?”

Sihu waved her off. Her ribs did sting. She was pretty sure the force of the blow had cracked the skin. But she just wanted to get to the part where they made camp, fatigue dragging at her muscles.

“We’ve got time. Get it checked out.” Davrin’s tone brooked no argument, even though he didn’t raise his voice.

Sihu refused to look at him, anger coloring her tone. “I’m fine.”

Myrna rubbed her back gently. “Come on. Let me take a look. Don’t be stupid.”

She pressed her hand to it. It came away wet and sticky. She nodded and he guided her over to the boulder, helping her dislodge her armor while the others pressed on. Sihu could feel Davrin’s eyes on her and clenched her teeth against the sting. Myrna chanted softly under her breath as she cleaned her up from the kit on her hip.

“I’m sorry.” Sihu sighed.

Myrna laughed. “Not me you snapped at.”

“Don’t remind me.” She groaned.

Myrna looked thoughtful. She never talked much about her childhood, only that it had been here in the Anderfels. That she’d signed up because she had nowhere else to go. That much they shared, not being able to go home again. Sihu was starting to have doubts about this new one.

“Are you okay? Really?”

It was as sincere as she’d ever heard her. “I think so. Or I will be. Once I smother Jonas with a pillow.”

Myrna snorted. “That can be arranged. I’ll hold the bastard down.”

“Thank you.” Sihu sighed as Myrna wrapped a bandage around her middle.

“Chère we leave you for an hour and you’re wounded?”

Antoine and Evka. Sihu turned as Myrna laughed. They too, were covered in dust and blood, but none of it was theirs.

~~

Camp was on the lower side of the mountain, finally out of the blasted wind. By the time she got there, Sihu’s side burned and her back ached. But the bandage held. She dropped her rucksack at the edge and started looking for a flat spot to lay out her sleeping roll. Sihu started to unravel it and hissed as she moved her arm. She didn’t hear him approach.  But she could feel a frisson of awareness behind her, skin tingling. When she turned Davrin was frowning as eyes flicked to her ribs and back. He reached out his hands, offering to take her sleeping roll. Sihu hesitated and he snorted.

“Just let me alright?” Their eyes locked.

She was tempted to say no to see what he’d do. Instead she handed it over and his lips twitched.

“Thank you.”

“Hmm.” He spread it out, eyes focused on the task at hand. “That was a good move. Protecting Myrna like that.”

He knew how to catch her off guard, she’d give him that much. “That sounded like praise Davrin.”

“That’s because it was.” He turned to her. “You’re bad at asking for help. That can get you killed.”

Sihu turned her head, exhaling sharply. It hurt to do that much. He waited her out and when she turned back he’d softened. She sighed and knuckled his shoulder, pushing him gently.

“You have a point.”

Davrin put a hand over his heart dramatically. “You agreed with me.”

“Don’t push it.” Sihu grinned. “You get one.”

“What do I have to do for two?”

When she only rolled her eyes he chuckled, and she relaxed, letting him check Myrna’s handiwork. His fingers curled gently around her wrist, warm as the sun. But when he saw the bandage a shadow crossed his face and he pulled back slowly, his touch lingering. He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes.

“Get some rest. You’re going to need it.”

Then he shouldered an axe, leaving as Antoine walked up, carrying some cursed concoction his mug.

“This should help.”

Sihu watched Davrin until he’d disappeared and turned to Antoine.

“I’ll drink that if you answer some questions.”

He looked in the direction Davrin had gone, shaking his head. “Not my story to tell. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

“Guess I shouldn’t get too attached then, huh?”

There was a gleam in Antoine’s eyes Sihu wasn’t quite sure she liked. “I wouldn’t say that.”

He refused to expand on that and forced her to drink the tea she was certain he’d found the recipe for at the bottom of the Deep Roads. It did help, but she wasn’t happy about it. Antoine smiled, patting her shoulder as she coughed on the bitter medicine.

“Oh yes, it’s quite terrible. But it helps.”

Sihu shook herself, going for her water skein. Antoine stayed with her, and Myrna floated over, and the Sunny and Kab started making the rabbits Davrin had already caught that morning, and Evka sharpened her axe and started telling them a story about the same section of the Deep Roads they were going to, and it was better than it’d been. Good even. But for the ache over her ribs and the distinct awareness of who was missing.

~~

Sihu couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t even blame it on the nightmares. She threw an arm over her forehead, staring at the brilliant spill of the stars above her. Of course, she could hear the distinct sound of him whittling, and she fought the urge to go to him. To see if she could figure out what is was, he wouldn’t talk about it. What is it was that made him feel like he had to keep her at a distance.

Maybe then she could figure out what she wanted from him so badly.

Finally, she gave up, getting to her feet, hissing as quietly as she could, creeping to the watch fire. Davrin had found a boulder, his sword close. But he was focused on yet another carving, this one a hurlock. She paused at that, reconsidering.

“Alright Sihu?”

“I buy that you heard me, but not you knew it was me.” She joined him.

He eyed her briefly before turning his head back, and she wanted to bolt. But she held herself still, watching him work.

“You were tossing and turning. Was about to go check on you.”

That was part of the problem. Any one of them would do it. Why did it matter so much because it was him? Yet she stayed anyways, and that was the rest of the problem. Chasing his warmth, surely as she threw herself into battle. Maybe if either of them were wise, they wouldn’t be Wardens to begin with. Sihu tilted her head to look at the stars. They dazzled across the sky, twinkling brightly, and were it not for the snores of the others she might have thought it was just the two of them. She listened to the crickets in the distance, the crackle of the fire, and the snick snick snick as he worked. Finally, he broke the silence.

“Why’d you stay? I know Antoine and Evka gave you the choice.”

Sihu took a moment. No one else had asked. “Because I didn’t want to go home. It never really was home.”

Davrin blinked, hands stilling. “You want this? Life on the move. Hard ground and getting hurt, the First Warden…Jonas.”

He growled the last. She turned to look at him fully.

“Why did you join? You weren’t even blighted first. I’m assuming.”

That worked a smile out of him, reluctant as it was. “I wanted this to mean something. I wanted purpose.”

“And did you find it?” Sihu thought she knew the answer.

Davrin’s gaze stayed on the fire, watching the flames. “I did.”

“Purpose. You could have been rich. With these monster hunter skills I’ve heard so much about it.”

The tension went out of him at last. He shook his head, eyes bright as the flames dance across his skin. Her hands itched to trace the planes of his face. Even something so simple felt so out of reach.

“I haven’t proven myself yet?” Davrin’s voice dropped, low and inviting.

Her body rebelled against her, urging her to close the distance, but there was a sharp sting across her skin that caused her breath to hitch as she winced and he stopped in his tracks, face growing somber again. But he pulled a tin cup and a packet of the foul-smelling tea she recognized all too well and she groaned as he poured the water for it, laughing at her.

“He says it’ll help.”

“It still tastes worse than the archdemon blood and you can tell him I said that.”

Davrin hummed as he worked, so soft she almost missed it, afraid if she called attention to it he would stop. Then he foisted the awful stuff at her anyways knowing she’d drink it because he’d asked her to, and that alarmed her more than the fact they were entering the Deep Roads the next day. But she stayed, and she drank, and he shifted closer to show her the hurlock and if her heart stuttered at his excitement she swallowed it with the bitter medicine.

~~

The Deep Roads. The cavernous depths made her stomach lurch, walking into the belly of the beast, if the beast could collapse on top of them all at any moment. Sihu paused at the elevator, swallowing, and Kab put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her as he passed. Sunny stopped and offered her his arm, wiggling his eyebrows. She huffed but she took it with a smile.

“Not scared are you Sihu?” He teased, eyes twinkling with mirth.

“Not with you here.” She kept the fear out of her voice, sounding cheerful. She hoped.

In the elevator Davrin eyed her skeptically. “Have you not been in the Deep Roads yet?”

“I have.” Was all she could answer, not liking the understanding the flickered behind his eyes.

Sunny squeezed his arm a little tighter as the elevator got its rough start, creaking dust as they went down. And down. And down. Her ribs stung with every breath still, a dull ache forming over them. Once released from the rickety wood cage, she felt better, if only because the remains of the ruined thaig that was waiting for them gave the illusion of a shelter. Sunny walked her out with a wink and let her pull away, steadier than she’d been. She was surprised when Davrin rubbed her back before taking the lead. This was his hunt after all.

“Anything we need to know Davrin?” Evka seemed perfectly at ease.

Davrin chuckled. “Yeah, don’t blow anything up.”

Antoine seemed to pretend he couldn’t hear. “I told Sihu she could practice.”

Myrna and Kab groaned behind them. Sunny clapped his hands together and rubbed them with glee. Davrin seemed determined to look at anyone but her.

“Stay close to me. It’s supposed to be a giant spider and its offspring, keeps getting out and attacking that village topside, but no one has seen it yet. They’re ambush predators so keep on your toes. Their venom can cause hallucinations, nightmares, and partial paralysis.”

Sihu cleared her throat. “Just partial Senior Warden Davrin?”  

Kab groaned. Antoine laughed. Davrin grunted, shaking his head, his attention already on the whatever trail he had found. He led them down a dark passage, immediately stifling and overwarm. Myrna lit her torch, but it was soon hard to see past the ring of light. The shadows that danced on the wall cast the ancient stone into sharp relief, evidence of the people who’d carved them all but erased. Sihu was interested in seeing how one tracked spiders. She looked to Myrna who shrugged. She was about to ask Davrin when he held his hand up to still them. There was a crevice before them. It was narrow, dark, cobwebs enshrined the entrance. She’d seen more inviting darkspawn. Davrin turned to her with an eyebrow raised and she smiled as innocently as possible. Then he turned back with a frown.

“Shit.” She tilted her head as Davrin reached his hand inside and pushed until his shoulder. He only got up to his knee before he got stuck, grunting, but nothing budged.

Sihu reached for the grenades at her belt. “Our turn?”

Antoine chimed in. “No. Not here. We’ll bring the rest of it down on top of us.”

They all did. The massive pile of stone above them was balanced precariously as it reached for the ceiling. Sunny whistled. Davrin nodded.

“We’ll need to draw them out. Make them think we’re either a threat or food.”

He was already reaching into his coat, looking at her expectantly.

“Well? Which is it?” She didn’t want to disappoint.

His lips quirked again. He answered by pulling a pair of lures from the inside of his jacket. Myrna sighed. Davrin set the lures and guided them back, as far as they dared without being scented first. Sunny already seemed bored.

“Now what?”

Antoine and Evka and Darin were already sitting.  Kab snorted.

“I know this one.” Sihu chuckled, already sliding down the wall, and she supposed it was better than marching in their armor and going deeper. “Hurry up and wait.”

Davrin grinned up at her at last. “You’re getting it.”

She held his gaze and he winked.

~~

It was hours. Hours of mind-numbing boredom. Hours of nothing. There were only so many times she could sharpen her daggers, only so many arrows to fletch, and even Antoine and Evka were starting to run out of stories they cared to share. Her ribs ached. She was thirsty. She'd never been so eager to meet overgrown spiders in her life. Davrin got to his feet with a groan, stretching his back.

“Come on Sihu. Help me check the lures. See if there’s any sign of them.”

She was all too happy to do anything that wasn’t listening to Sunny’s rendition of his time in wrestling in a mud pit with what sounded like a pig and a drunk and rightfully angry qunari. Davrin extended his hand which she took gladly, letting him pull her close, holding her steady, his eyes warm. The affection there was too hard to take. He released her slowly.

They walked back the lures at a leisurely pace, which was when Sihu realized.

“You don’t actually need to check these, do you?”

Davrin snorted, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the other couldn’t see them past the broken walls they were sheltered behind. Then he stepped close, lips tantalizingly close to her own. Sihu ran her hands up his arms to his shoulders, heart in her throat. Davrin’s kiss was a blaze along her lips, one she let consume her easily. She forgot, for a moment, that this was never meant to be and wouldn’t last, and he would never be hers and-

He pulled away with a small hum, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, fingers trailing over her skin. Sihu was about to ask what that was for when his sword scraped out of its sheathe and he was pushing her to the side, a mass of legs and fangs rushing to meet him as he snarled. She saw the punctures. The flash of red. Her daggers, easy in her hands, were dancing as the next one jumped from the ceiling, heavy as she flung it to the ground with a roar. Her pain was swallowed by her battle lust. 

Davrin whistled and soon she heard the others, charging to their aid. Back-to-back, Sihu and Davrin held their ground together, as the spiders swarmed from the walls, bigger and meaner than any she’d ever seen. Davrin bashed one away as she slashed through another set of legs that did nothing to deter the owner. The others crashed into the battle and it was clear it still wouldn’t be enough by how quickly they were drowned. She heard Sunny cry out but couldn’t find him. Myrna was weakening, fireball after fireball not enough. Kab was brought down by one slamming into his chest, and she didn’t see him get back up. Antoine and Evka were starting to create a ring of death around them, and even then…Sihu could hear Davrin’s panting behind her, matching her own, and her stomach churned but there was nothing for it but to fight harder and hope she could get him and the others out alive.

She reached for the grenades at her belt, knowing it might be the only way, when a howl so horrible, so full of hate, echoed through and around the stone, its teeth at the nape of her neck, making the blight sing her blood and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

The spiders fled. That’s when they all felt it. The darkspawn, between them and the exit.

But the howl had come from behind them. The rocks above began to shake, the dust of a thousand years trickling down first as a massive crack sounded above them and the rumbling started. Sihu reached for Davrin as he reached for her as the world began to split apart and they tried to run anyways as a swell of energy that made her teeth tingle hit. Followed by a blast of rock and angry magic and another howl was the last thing she heard before the stone buried them.

Chapter Text

The oily, slick feel of the darkspawn on his mind was repulsive enough Davrin sat up, and his skin flushed hot with fever as his heart thrummed in his ears. It was too dark to see even his hands though they were inches from his face. Where the spider had bit him ached, the wound throbbing, and his skin burned even as he shivered. A groan next to him and he was relieved to recognize the sound.

“Sihu? Is that you?”

“Davrin?”

She was moving. He heard the rocks shift and then felt her hand flailing across his chest. He fought back a laugh, covering her fingers with his own, giving himself away.

“Shit, you’re burning up. I knew you got bit. Hang on.”

Her hand was gone but he sensed her anyways. A soft curse. A scrape of metal. Another curse before a hiss as the flame caught the spark and the torch came to life. Davrin was already reaching for her, lifting her chin to examine the blood running down her temple. It was already drying, but it was a nasty enough wound. Sihu grabbed at his arm, finding the spider bite. Two deep gouges in his flesh. The blood had been minimal. A coagulant in the spider’s saliva to keep the venom inside.

“What do I do? How do I help you?” Her eyes were bright, jaw set. Determined.

Davrin glanced around where they’d wound up. A big pile of rocks and spiderwebs surrounded them. Yet, it was roomier than he could have hoped for. He could feel his finger and toes starting to tingle. He hadn’t told them how these spiders killed their victims.

“Need my rucksack. So, we either find a way out or hope the other can dig us out before we run out of air.”

It was too much to put on her. Sihu was still injured herself. She didn’t care. She smiled, cupping his face. Too gently. Her fingers were cool, a balm to the blaze.

“I’m going to get us out of here. Alive.”

He believed her. He couldn’t help it.

“We need to make a decision about that torch soon.”

Sihu nodded. “Right. Let me look around real quick.”

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then she was gone, flitting around in that way she had, quick and clever. The fever raked him but he sat up. The torchlight soon dimmed, and he was nearly alone again, relieved as the darkspawn started to drift away from them. He strained to list for Sihu anyhow. He was all too wary of that howl they’d hear before the collapse. He’d only heard it once before, but it was impossible to forget. The blight nibbled at the back of his mind, chewing at him, reminding him of the slow arrow that came for every Grey Warden. Then Sihu was back, a blaze of light in the gloom, offering him a hand and a wry grin.

“There’s a way forward I’m sorry to say. And we don’t have to worry about air.” She winked.

Davrin let her pull him to his feet, leaning on her as his head swam. Sihu brace his shoulder, her face soft.

“You’re going to be okay. I have you.”

He’d said the same to Ceren. But their fates had been sealed with archdemon blood. He pulled away.

“Your lead.”

Sihu wanted to ask. He might even tell her if she did. But she just nodded, jerking her chin.

“Follow me then.”

~~

So he did. The narrow tunnel of broken webs gave way to part of the Deep Road, now home of the spiders. Only they’d all fled.

“Davrin they were running right? From that thing?”

He glanced at Sihu’s face. “It’s called the Gloom Howler. It’s been going after Wardens for the last couple of months far as I can tell. I’ve been trying to track it.”

“Ah well. I found it.”

Davrin snorted. Their eyes met. She was afraid. She had to be. She refused to look up. She was sticking close. But she only smiled again, her voice carefully cheerful. Davrin forced himself to look away. He might kiss her if he didn’t. The creeping numbness had spread. He wasn’t sure if he could hold his sword if it came down to it. Sihu started to lead them up where the road started to climb back up towards where the others had to be. She started, until he grabbed her arm in warning at the sight of the Grey Wardens crumpled on the ground, scattered like they’d been blown apart. Their armor was rent open, shredded in places. The taint riddled their features, forever frozen in terror. They’d answered the Calling only to find something worse it seemed. Davrin knelt, blinking against his own dizziness.

“This Gloom Howler hunts Wardens?”

Davrin nodded, taking careful notes out of habit, not sure if he’d get the chance to write any of this down. He closed their eyes as he went. When he tried to straighten he lurched to the side and Sihu caught him, wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders as he sagged against her.

“You should leave me. I’ll only slow you down in a fight.”

Sihu huffed. “The darkspawn are gone. The Gloom Howler is gone. All that’s left is the spiders.”

“I could make it an order.” Davrin hadn’t pulled away yet. It was hard to keep his teeth from chattering.

Sihu snorted. “I’d rather be a shite Grey Warden than a shite friend Dav.”

He knew she didn’t mean to say it. The diminutive was a slip. It still sank somewhere near his ribcage. She was worried. Her breath hitched. He remembered that slash across her ribs, the anger he’d felt watching it happen from across the field, and he tried to pull away. But he saw it first. The monster he’d come down here to hunt detached itself from the ceiling. It was three times the size of a horse and floated down on its web, dozens of eyes glittering in the light of the torch.

“Sy leave me. Get the others.” He had to force it through clenched teeth.

She growled at the suggestion. “Never.”

Her daggers were in hand. A hunter born and bred. And she was angry. Sihu turned to him.

“Can you make it on your own?”

His sword was already singing from its sheathe. He could hold it after all. She frowned but nodded, eyes flashing as she whirled. They attacked together. The spider, ancient as it was, moved fast. It must have known Davrin had been bit. Must have known he was the easier target. He was slow. Clumsy. The venom was doing its work. But somehow his blade connected, steel biting through time-hardened flesh, if only to remind the creature he had teeth. The monster hissed and knocked him aside. But Sihu dove between them, driving it back in a fury as he fought for his feet.

It was brutal. How either of them kept going he didn’t know. What he did know was his strength was flagging, and he was the perfect target for the monster, so many eyes and all of them trained on him. But once more Sihu flung herself in between him and the threat, nearly winding up with a fang in her shoulder he chopped off on reflex but lost his grip on his sword and fell to his knees. The fighting had sped up the venom’s spread.

“Dav!”

Sihu was on him, dragging him to his feet. “Come on we have to move fast. Just hang on. I have you I have you.”

He groaned. He ran even as the venom spread its icy way up his legs.

“What did you-”

The explosion flung them both forward and they hit the ground as the old thaig collapsed behind them. Sihu covered his head when he couldn’t and that alone was why they couldn’t keep doing this. He closed his eyes against the fever, and she shifted as the rocks settled.

“Can you walk?” Her voice finally gave her way.

His bones were on fire. His blood seemed to freeze. He tried. He did try.

“’Fraid not Sy.”

Sihu pillowed his head on what had to be her cloak, still warm from her skin. He reached up to grab her arm as she tried to rise.

“Stay.” He opened his eyes.

Hers were liquid. “If I stay you die. I won’t let that happen.”

There it was. The thing he’d been most of afraid of since he’d met her. It was too easy to fall for her.

“Wait. I need to t-”

“There they are!”

“Davrin’s hurt!”

He should have been relieved. But Sihu was staring at him, like she knew what he’d wanted to say. But then the others were on them and she pulled back. Her expression was carefully neutral. All while Antoine slipped into Orleasian and Myrna made Sihu sit down. Sihu was clutching her side and he thought he saw blood where she’d torn her stitches. The fever spiked but Antoine gave him the antidote. When it was time to clean to the bite Evka had to grab his hand and he stilled cried out.

~~

Davrin passed out somewhere between then and the climb out of the Deep Roads. There was an unspoken urge to get as far away from the collapsed tunnel and any lingering spiders as possible. Davrin didn’t remember most of it, only retreating to his sleeping roll at the first opportunity. Most interesting was Sihu followed him, determined to look after him. When the fever did break and he woke to the smell of dinner and the blaze of the setting sun and he saw her, snoring softly. She’d propped herself against the nearest boulder. Her sketchbook was open in her lap, pencil and his whittling knife still in her hands. She was bathed in gold, but the fresh cut on her head and the bruises on her face twisted something in him. 

He was going to have to reckon with his feelings for her. But for the moment he decided to start with water. Davrin sat up and Sihu jerked awake, her eyes going wide as she started to get to her feet. Then she was throwing an arm over his bare chest to stop him, wincing as she did. His hands went to her arm, pressing her closer.

“Tempting to bind that arm until you heal up.”

Sihu snorted. “You could say ‘thanks Sihu. I’m sorry I gave you the fright of your life Sihu. Thanks for dragging my sorry hide back to the surface Sihu.”

“Thank you.” Davrin ran his hand up and down her arm. “You saved my life down there.”

“You saved mine. Not that I’m keeping score.” She winked.

Davrin let her go with a smile and propped himself up on his elbows while she got him the water.

“I can do that.”

“No you can’t!” Evka helpfully supplied from across the camp.

Sunny was making dinner. Davrin decided it was better to focus on Sih, propping him on her chest, pressing the cup to his lips. He chuckled when she helped him back down, tucking him back in even. When he pursed his lips she chuckled.

“A wise man once said ‘just let me.’ Changed my life.”

Davrin shook his head, smile breaking anyways, despite the ache in every muscle and the exhaustion already pulling at his eyelids.

“Sounds handsome. And good in bed.”

Sihu snorted, rolling her eyes. “Humble too. Hang on you should eat before you sleep.”

“Not just yet. Think It’ll just wind up on the ground.”

Not to mention dinner was burning. Davrin was certain of it. Her laugh chimed like a bell and he should tell her. A yawn overtook him before he could.

“Get some rest Dav. I’ve got the watch.”

He should tell her. But he sank under instead, safe in the wilds as he was in the fortress under her watch.

~~

A knock on the door. When he answered she was there, all teeth and tongue and blunt nails running over his chest and he pushed her into the wall, pinning her hands over her head and holding her in place. She squirmed closer and he thrust his knee between her thighs, both of them moaning as she ground down on him, and he knew she’d be wet already. He drove his tongue into her mouth and let her grind on him harder and swallowed her gasps. Then he released her to yank her leathers down, his fingers inside of her, determined to make her cry out. She pressed her forehead into his shoulder, and he was all that held her up as he found that spot that made her bite him with another moan that went straight to his cock.

“Feel good sweetheart? Like when I move my fingers like this?”

Sihu whined and he kissed her again for it, curling his fingers again to make her squirm, and she ground down to chase the feelings, her walls fluttering as she came without warning.

“Dav! Oh fuck.”

He couldn’t hold back anymore. He unlaced his pants and let his hand fall out and she whimpered until he kissed her and he went to slide in-

A rustling woke him. A desert rabbit ran by, its ears overlarge, a shadow in the moonlight. He glared at it, hard as rock from the dream, and flopped back down, hoping to ignore the problem until it went away. They’d be at Weisshaupt tomorrow. It could wait.

His cock decided otherwise. Davrin sighed and got up, disappearing into the scraggly brush, ducking behind the first pile of rocks. Hopefully Kab would just think he was taking a piss. The heat of the day lingered, and sweat ran over his skin, and hard as he was no part of him wanted to be out here alone. It had been a miserable enough trip back without his body’s help.

A rustling and he froze, until Sihu cleared her throat. “It’s me.”

The need in her voice. Had she-

She came straight for him, their teeth clashing and hands flying to their clothes. After everything she was alive and she was here and she wanted him, sliding down and swallowing him whole. Davrin’s vision whited out for a moment as she slid her mouth all the way off, then did it again. Her pace was awkward until she warmed up to it, and he kept his palms pressed to the rough rock until she did.

“Sy just like that. Damn honey just like that.”

She moaned at the praise and he almost spilled there, and his head tilted his head back, finally giving in and letting his fingers tangle in her curls. When she found her rhythm he gasped. His orgasm hit all at once, and he barely warned in time. But she swallowed every drop and he was on her, pulling her closer and kissing her, lifting her up and pressing her back into the boulder. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he tasted his cum in her mouth and bit her lip, sliding inside of her and rocking their foreheads together.

“Dav…oh Dav…”

It was all she seemed to know how to say. A chant. All for him. If this was all he could ever give her he wanted to do it right. Her legs locked around him as he drove them both harder, his hips snapping to hers until her walls tightened around him and she was burying her face into his neck trying to muffle her pleasure and he wasn’t far behind her, their bodies tight around each other and breath mingled in the dark.

When she did pull it was slow, stiff even. Her smile was close to shy and it melted his heart. He kissed her for it and she laughed against him, letting him press his forehead to hers.

“I was dreaming about you.” Davrin murmured.

“I was dreaming about you.” She admitted, and she kissed him again. 

He kissed her back, despite the lingering voice in the back of his mind trying to warn him. It was too late.

Chapter Text

A howl. The stone around them trembled and crumbled to dust. There was a screech as the darkspawn burned through her mind. The blight sang its awful melody, an unholy chorus of voices. Mortal mouths were never meant for the words they spoke, a language of corruption. Calling for her. One day she’d understand them and it would all be over. The creature howled and wouldn’t it be easier if you just gave in Sister.

“Sy! To me! We need to find higher ground!”

Davrin. She turned to the sound of his voice and started running. There he was, shield at the ready and hand extended for her to catch up. Her legs wouldn’t cooperate, every step felt like she was sinking into the swirling river of muck and ichor at her feet. She could hear them, scratching, slavering, slithering in mass, a hoard with a new master, and enough hatred to kill every living being in Thedas, if given the chance.

She couldn’t reach Davrin. No matter how hard she pushed, he just seemed further and further away. The howl started again and an ogre came charging for him as the mob caught up to her, teeth sinking into her flesh as she screamed.

Sihu sat up with a groan, scratching at her side, Davrin sound asleep in his sleeping roll, conveniently placed next to hers. She kept herself from putting a hand on him. She settled for watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. The nightmare wanted to linger. She hadn’t been able to leave him be while he was recovering, feeling better if he was where she could keep an eye on him. But he was better. The thought drove her from her bed to where Antoine was keeping watch. She took the seat in the grass next to him and he smiled, setting aside the design he was working on. It was too complicated for her limited understandings of cogs and wheels and other such contraptions.

“Bad dream?”

She lay back on her elbows, shaking her head. “And they’re worse in a blight?”

Antoine nodded. “That is how the stories go. During the Fifth Blight I heard the King and Queen of Ferelden got so little sleep they actually had time to fall in love.”

Sihu arched her eyebrows and he wagged a finger at her.

“It’s true! I heard it from another Warden who said he’d worked with them. Told me she fell for the king because he gave her a rose he found growing in the blight.

She chuckled and Antoine brushed his hair from his eye. Sihu ran a tongue over her teeth before answering.

“I guess it’s true. Some Grey Wardens get happy endings.”

Antoine glanced to where Evka was sleeping. “Some do.”

 She dared not look at Davrin. He’d woken up. She could heard him moving. Antoine had her number though, even if he was polite enough not to say it. Sihu didn’t try to pretend. Weisshaupt tomorrow. Then who knew what the future held, only then she would have to decide, one way or another.

They couldn’t go on like this.

She kissed Antoine’s cheek and he patted her arm. Davrin was settling back down but he waited for her to flop back down, grinning before he lay his head back down. The sweetness of it tore at her, and she hadn’t known how affection could be so sharp.

~~

Sihu had plumb forgotten about Jonas. Hard not to, with her new collection of injuries and the ache that was her constant companion, taken root in her heart when Davrin was poisoned. The sure knowledge she didn’t want to be without him and that there was nothing to be done about it because one or the other, she would be, had kept her awake the rest of the night.

Worse still. Sihu thought Davrin felt the same.

So gritty-eyed and hot and the healing scab on her ribs itching like mad she hadn’t expected Jonas. She really hadn’t expected his father, the same slime that seemed to ooze from his son coated him. A matching set, only the father wore Orlesian finery and stunk heavily of the same perfume the First Warden wore. Sihu nearly backed into Antoine out of reflex, teeth bared and itching for her dagger. Jonas raised one eyebrow at her smugly, flinching slightly when he saw who she was with. Antoine moved her behind him, but there was no need when the First Warden bellowed from behind them in greeting, swooping in.

Sihu squeezed Antoine’s shoulder in thanks, kissed Evka on the cheek, and then bolted to get away from them all. She needed a bath and time to think.

What she got was Davrin. The baths at Weisshaupt were simple. No frills. A series of underground springs too sulfurous to drink but perfect for Wardens that had spent too long on the road. Large enough for an army, small enough they still ran into each other. Sihu was so distracted she’d practically run face first into his bare chest. He caught her with a laugh, hands gentle on her biceps, looking her over hungrily. The steam enveloped them both. The heat and the scent of him were heady, and need ran through her so sharply she gasped. Davrin’s were soft, nearly black in the gloom of the cavern. Sihu glanced around. They were alone. As if in a trance his hand ghosted over her ribs, expression somber. Sihu grabbed Davrin’s wrist, twisting it to look over the spider bite. Neither of them spoke.

Then his lips were crashing into hers and she yanked him closer, needing his skin on her skin. He lifted her to carry her back into the warm water, mouth never leaving hers as she wrapped her legs around him. He guided them to a small alcove in the back. Her back brushed the rough stone as Davrin spread her legs, thick fingers sliding in as he watched her face when she bucked against his hand. His other hand cupped her face, tender. When he ran his thumb over her lips she took it in her teeth. Sihu didn’t want him to be careful. She didn’t want him to look at her like she was something precious. She wanted Davrin to consume her. Sihu grabbed his hand and pushed him back into the rock, swallowing his gasp as she climbed on top, sliding him inside of her fast enough he cursed, head tilting back.

It was fast then. Davrin had lost his voice, his fingers pressing into the skin at her hips and his eyes blown as he watched her. She sucked a bite into the hollow at his neck. Let him feel her. Let him lose sleep over this. Sihu came first and Davrin fucked her through it, following moments later, spilling on her thigh before he collapsed back, eyes closed and panting. She wanted to bolt again but he had kept his grip on her, her anchor. Too easy to stay. Too easy to sink back onto his chest and let him wrap his arms around her. She could feel the words on his tongue and wondered what she’d do if he finally said them.

A scuffle of a boot on stone. They both jerked up to see Jonas’ retreating form disappearing back into the steam.

The warm glow she’d felt moments before was doused in icy water. Sihu moved to go after him, to tell him to keep his mouth shut or she’d cut it out, when Davrin grabbed her arm, chuckling.

“He’s not worth it. And he’s stupid but he’s not that stupid.”

“You’re much more confident in his intelligence than I am.”

He tilted his head. “Trust me. I’ll take care of it.”

Davrin smiled and tugged her back under the pretense of checking her injuries again. Sihu relented. It was easy to see through, when his hands lingered on her hips and his eyes wouldn’t leave her face.

“Feeling okay?”

Sihu ran a thumb over his vallaslin, shaking her head. “You were the one almost died on me Dav.”

A shadow flickered over his features. He sighed, but rather than pull away his fingers tightened.

“I need to tell you something.”

Sihu had never hesitated before. Had never run from a fight in her life. But she’d always remember the sickening feeling when he’d collapsed after the spider. How she thought they both might die. Her stomach twisted suddenly, and she pulled away. Any warmth left in his face flickered out. The words spilled out of her.

“I think we should go back to just being friends.” Sihu wanted to take them back already.

But the damage was done. Davrin nodded, jaw working. When he could speak it was with a forced smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“That was the deal right? As soon as one of us wants out we call it quits. No hard feelings.”

Had they ever been just friends? She thought of Jonas and whatever power he now held over both of them and what that would do to Davrin. She thought of dragging him through the Deep Roads, counting every beat of his heart. She thought of this new monster, one with an appetite for Wardens, and that Davrin was inevitably going after it again.

“I’m sorry.”

Davrin kissed her cheek, then stepped away. “Nothing to be sorry for Sy.”

Then he went, disappearing into the steam to find his clothes, nothing but a shadow before he was gone.

~~

Sihu needed a drink. She needed enough drinks to forget the last month in general and the morning in the bath in particular. She needed to forget about the words he didn’t say. It wasn’t hard to find. The others were already at it, decompressing after the mission. She didn’t like the look on Antoine and Evka’s face, fresh from their debriefing and just as in need of the terrible cask of wine Kab had dug up. It had nothing on the rotgut Sunny had procured from somewhere Sihu was afraid to ask, only that it burned well enough for her. Soon she was three sheets to the wind and hanging on Antoine’s every word as he told a story he and Evka had collected from a village in a river valley with a benevolent spirit that seemed to enjoy leaving the villagers presents of fish.

That was when Davrin made his appearance, sitting beside Antoine, decidedly not looking at her. Sihu kept drinking, decidedly not looking at him either, and letting the flow of Antoine’s voice wash over her, and no she wouldn’t-

He’d laughed and she glanced at him and she was caught. But he turned away quickly. The stories shifted. A tension that had been rolling through them all, a bad taste left behind by a bad mission and old ghosts. Even Kab spoke up, taking Sihu’s hand to speak of the man he’d left behind to become a Warden, one who couldn’t handle all that meant. When it was her turn she paused, staring down at her hands.  

“Renan was made to be a hunter. We have that much in common. She’s a better shot than I am. She loves clan life. She never quite understood why I couldn’t stay. When I was blighted…it was a way out. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for it.” Kab squeezed her hand and she bit her lip.

When their small circle wound its way to Davrin he shook his head and Antoine put a hand on his shoulder. The conversation shifted away again, and Sihu risked another look at him. He was staring at the floor, eyes far away. Evka tugged at her elbow and Sihu let her pull her away and ply her with water, shaking her head.

“What happened?”

Sihu frowned, head spinning too fast. “How did you know?”

“Please.”

“I told him I wanted to go back to being just friends.” Why did it feel like a confession?

Evka sighed. “You’re afraid.”

“Aren’t you?” Sihu turned away, biting her lip. “I couldn’t protect him. If you lot hadn’t come along when you did…”

“He would have gone on that hunt alone without us. We were there. You were there. You did save him.”

Sihu bit her lip raw. “How do you do it? How do you watch each other nearly die over and over again?”

“I love him more than I fear losing him.” Evka’s eyes were soft, face turning to the door in Antoine’s direction.

That simple. And that impossible.

“We’re better off as friends.”

“Maybe. That’s up to the two of you.”

Sihu opened her mouth to argue and nausea forced it closed again, hand going to her stomach. Evka groaned.

“Are you going to…?”

She groaned, stumbling forward. “I need to go lay down.”

“Let me get-”

She threw up in the scraggly bush next to her, groaning. Naturally, that was when Davrin made his exit, and he sounded all too amused.

“Here let me get her back, headed that way.”

Sihu spat and nodded at Evka. “S’fine.”

Evka smiled, squeezing Davrin’s arm. Something passed between them, but Sihu’s stomach was protesting again and she decided moving was better than waiting around to puke. Davrin caught up, and the fortress spread silent and harsh around them as she tried to quiet her traitorous stomach. He offered her his arm and she waffled, seriously doubting she could make it that far without being sick again. Nor did she think she was particularly deserving of his company.

But he disagreed, keeping her steady, and keeping her from sinking to the ground and sleeping there. That way of laughing from his belly stymied her self-inflicted misery.

“I am sorry Dav. I want it to be different.”

He was silent so long she thought he wouldn’t answer. Then he snorted.

“I don’t regret a moment Sy. I hope you know that.”

The nausea rolled in her again, forcing her back to the nearest statue and Davrin held her hair back.

“Think this might be punishment enough.”

She groaned. “Bite your tongue.”

That set him off again and Sihu managed a chuckle and he helped prop her up again.

“The First Warden is going to be thrilled if he finds your new decorations.”

Sihu snorted. “You didn’t have to walk me back you know. Evka would have done it.”

“I know.” Davrin shrugged, and didn’t elaborate.

They made it to the barracks and he paused, hesitating. Then he cleared his throat.

“I have to leave. The First Warden is sending me after the Gloom Howler. Good chance I won’t be back for a long while. Until the hunt is done.”

Oh. “This is goodbye.”

Davrin nodded, giving her a ghost of a smile. “Not forever.”

Sihu stared at him, and he ran a thumb over his chin, turning his head.

“Take care of yourself. I’ll be too far away to pull your ass from the fire.”

She let out something that was supposed to be a laugh and was much closer to a sob.

“You’re one to talk.”

Davrin chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Get some sleep. And be careful.”

“You too Dav. Please.” She had no right, but she’d ask anyways.

He smiled briefly then he pulled away, leaving her cold and achy with the sour taste in her mouth.

Chapter Text

Twelve years ago, give or take

Davrin was broke. He was hungry. His back hurt from sleeping on the ground and he was cold all through the night as the summer started to draw to a close. Worse still he was lonely. Admitting, even for a moment, that he missed clan life felt like a betrayal.He was half a step from packing it all in and going home, despite the angry words he and his father had hurled at each other the day he’d left. But he’d be going back a failure, and the sting of it was worse than the hunger pangs. At least for now.  

He made it to the next village at dawn, as the place was starting to wake up. A dry place with dryer people, nearly shriveled from sun and heat and lack of rain. The drought had hit the humans hard, and they gave him odd looks as he entered the square, looking for any job he could get. If Davrin was lucky he could get a bed. If he wasn’t he could at least get a good meal out of it. It was market day, and even here it soon grew crowded, with farmer’s hocking their wares, and his stomach only grew emptier and louder at the sight of a withered fig, mouth watering at the sight.

The owner glared at Davrin and he knew what would come next and backed away. Elves were fine enough when the wares were better and people had more to spend, he’d learned that much at least.

Davrin gave up and leaned against the only tree he could find, trying to act like he had any business at all here so as not to be driven away as the sun pounded them all into the ground. He must have looked pathetic enough for an old woman to take pity on him, though she had a funny way of showing it at first, jerking her chin at the tree.

“That’s a grave you know!”

Davrin sat up so quickly he almost tripped and she gave him a smile, her many wrinkles deepening as she laughed from her belly, and she reminded him too much of Eldrin, enough he nearly wanted to cry for homesickness.

“It’s okay. The kids climb it all the time. It’s just a tree.”

He glared at her and she laughed harder, wiping tears from her eyes with a shaky finger. Then she swayed dangerously and he was at her side, trying to maneuver her into the shade.

“Hahren it’s too hot for you to be in the sun like this.” He snapped.

She grumbled at him lightly as he sat her at her wooden booth, dilapidated as its owner, and with half the charm. She only pulled out a skein and took a deep gulp before handing it to him. The wine inside nearly made him spit as it burned its way down his throat. But it slaked his thirst. Sort of.

“We don’t get many Dalish here.” She said pointedly.

“You don’t say?” His hands twitched and he hopped from foot to foot.

She laughed again, slapping her knee. “You’re no slouch. What’s your name child?”

He bristled at that. “Davrin. And I’m not a child.”

“I’ve seen more summers than you’ve had hot meals. Everyone is a child to me.” She smiled that toothy smile and he couldn’t help but like her, ornery as she was. “I’m Daffodil.”

He kept his mouth firmly shut and passed on the wine when she offered again, earning another laugh.

“It’s the only thing Davrin

The only thing. You look like you need a job. I can hear your stomach growling from here.” Daffodil’s eyes were as sharp as her tongue. “I can help.”

“How?”  

“I’ve got work. Pay’s shit but you’ll get fed. Walk me home when I’m done here.”

Davrin narrowed his eyes and she waved her hand. “Easy work for a Dalish. As long as the bow just isn’t for show.”

“The sword isn’t either.”

She laughed again and so it went he got hired. Her farmhouse, thought it was less a farm and more a patch of dirt, was far enough outside of the village it was past sunset by the time they got there, and still hotter than the backside of a dragon. Sweat streamed from Davrin from the excursion but soon he was he was seated in her kitchen with proper water and a bowl of corn meal and a hank of stringy meat and it was the best thing he’d eaten in a long time, if only just enough to sate him so he could get sleep. Daffodil offered that up to, a soft bed in her spare bedroom, and if it was the best sleep he’d gotten in weeks he’d say thank you by killing every varmint she asked of him.  

~~

“Job’s easy enough. Clear a pack of deepstalkers for me from an old mining shaft out back. They’re getting meaner than a hurlock and twice as bold.”   

Daffodil had gone as far to let him sleep in and give him breakfast, so he forgave for calling the giant cavern an old mining shaft. He didn’t forgive her for not mentioning it connected to the Deep Roads.

The Deep Roads were only something he’d heard about in stories. And even then, only when they stopped for trade, or in horror stories the hunters would tell around the fire. Tales of the darkspawn that would pour forth, or one that befell a clan they’d heard from a friend of a friend. Maybe they’d talk about old heroes driving away the monsters in the dark. He’d swallowed them all, always needing more.

Easy enough to track the deepstalkers. At least he had that, the ability to pick put the signs of their harsh lives written across the stone. Easy as reading the lines in the palm of his hand. But what he lacked was the sense not to go alone. The tunnel forced him on his hands and knees, creeping into that humid darkness. Narrow enough he bumped his head twice and cursed Daffodil every step of the way. It felt a long way down until he could finally straighten enough to light a torch. He felt skittish as a halla, ready to bolt and run and the slightest noise, drawing his sword as much to shore up his nerves as to ready himself. The Deep Roads were so cavernous it felt as if it was only him and the small flame against a false night deprived of even the stars.

Davrin could smell them before he could see them. He’d smelled death and rot and blood. But he’d never forget the reek of the darkspawn the rest of his days. It was wrong.

The noise was next. Almost like water boiling, a hiss and writhing sound that crept from the stone and filled him with dread. The one thing he knew about darkspawn besides not to touch them was that there was never just one.

Some perverse need, the same that had driven him after his first monster, drew him closer, so enthralled when the torch threw a spark on his hand he barely noticed. When he finally saw the first ghoul he froze. It was emaciated. Rotting. Foul. Eyes that gleamed with a hatred like he’d never known. One pair. Two. Then three. Then too many to count beyond the dimming ring of light.

At last his survival instincts kicked in. He threw the torch and ran for his life. Too late. The ghouls gave chase. He was the rabbit trapped in the warren, but the wolves were behind.

The tunnel out seemed twice as long as it had on the way in. Skin ripped off and he was too terrified to notice. His mad dash for the sun above nearly ended with a snarl that almost made him piss himself and claws wrapping around his ankle, threatening to drag him back under. He screamed with everything he had, kicking and thrashing with all his strength. Davrin knew if he was pulled under now he’d never see daylight again.

That was when he appeared, with amber eyes like twin flames, yanking him by both arms and sending him sprawling in the dirt as fire jumped into his hands. The man grinned ferally at him and shouted as other soldiers rushed towards the tunnel shouting their battle cries.

“Stay behind us!”

Davrin had met his first Grey Wardens.

~~

The fire mage had a name, Ceren, and it’d be years before Davrin would learn anything else about who he really was. An elf from Docktown in Minrathous with a wild look in his eyes that drew Davrin in. He’d never met anyone else like them, staring down the darkness, chasing it. The fought monsters. They had purpose. And they never went to bed hungry. Daffodil and the other humans listened when they talked, instructing them on how to keep their village safe. Davrin had been too young then to notice how the humans also kept the Wardens at a careful distance, as if the taint would jump to them.

Though Ceren was only a couple of years older than Davrin and a full head shorter on a good day, he commanded every room he entered. The burn scars on his face spoke to a past he refused to talk about and Davrin soon learned not to ask. No, Davrin didn’t know much about Ceren other than he was enamored with him and the other Wardens, and he was at Weisshaupt less than a month later, wondering why no one would tell him the details of the Joining.

He could have ran. He didn’t have to drink. They might have killed him, but he’d become quicker and stronger. But he didn’t. Davrin drank from the chalice with both hands and eyes wide open. He’d chosen this. And he would take it. Damn the explosion in his head. Damn the pain and the shadows the blood brought with it. Damn that it was certain death.

After, when he was one of them, they became friends first. Ceren would catch him whittling and ask him what he was carving now. They’d spar together and Ceren would thumb his bruises after, calloused hands warm and just a bit too rough as if he didn’t know how to be gentler. There was an edge Davrin had craved, chasing the pain of loving the other Warden as surely as he started chasing darkspawn. 

~~

It was an ice-cold day in Geltberg. Odd that, this pocket of snow and grit. Like everywhere else in the Anderfels there were plenty of pigs if nothing else. He was sat by the fire with his journal when Ceren joined him, tilting his head.

“What’re you writing?”

Davrin wasn’t sure he wanted to tell him, more distracted the other man was so close. They’d been on the road a week and Ceren still smelled good. His eyes were as warm and clear as whiskey, and a rare smile flickered over his face as he looked Davrin over. Then Ceren tapped his journal pointedly and winked.

“Cat got your tongue?”

Davrin swallowed and cleared his throat. “Taking notes.”

“On what?” His voice had a slight rasp to it, leaning forward to look.

He was really asking. Davrin felt heat creep up his neck.

“It’s stupid.”

Ceren snorted. “It can’t be that bad. I’ve seen stupid. You’re not stupid.”

Davrin groaned. “I was taking notes on that rock wraith. How it moved. How we took it out.”

“Why?” The other man tilted his head, shifting closer to read the page.

Davrin could feel the heat off of his body, making it harder to focus, the sentence he’d been working on half-finished on the page. Somehow Ceren had moved close enough for their knees to knock together, and Davrin was starting to realize it was on purpose.

“I read a bestiary on them at Weisshaupt. It was wrong. We had to crack that weak spot on its back he said just to hit it with an arrow in the back and you’d be fine.”

Ceren’s hand was on his knee. Davrin sucked in a sharp breath. The other man’s chuckle was low and deep, his eyes full of hunger that echoed Davrin’s own.

“Why’s it matter so much?”

It matters. But he was staring at Ceren’s lips instead. But then every Warden in the camp felt it at once. Darkspawn. A lot of darkspawn, their gnawing clawing hate as it rang through the minds. They jumped to their feet, already knowing they were outnumbered three to one easy.

“Stay close to me.” It was a command as Ceren’s flashed, eager for a fight as he pulled his wicked looking athame from his hip.

One Davrin didn’t follow. He intended to. That much was certain. But he saw a ring of monsters, and the hurlocks at their head, and that same urge that had driven him all of his life pulled him one way, aiming him like an arrow straight for their hearts. Davrin had learned during training that hurlocks weren’t master technicians because they didn’t need to be.

Davrin locked eyes with the biggest one and launched himself forward. He’d gained more weight since joining the Wardens. He was taller. Stronger. Meaner. He could do this. He vaulted into the air. Ceren called his name in warning but Davrin barely heard him, intent on his quarry.

He’d made a mistake.

The hurlock yanked his shield away and nearly pulled him to his knees. Too late a hammer was crashing to his rib cage. He heard the crack as his ribs split like so many twigs. He kept his feet, just barely, but the breath was stolen clean from his lungs as the hurlock punched him in the jaw to finish him off, his sword flying from his hand. That final took him to the ground. All he saw was white, head ringing as he struggled to breathe. The monster laughed as it stood over him, a harsh sound like nails scraping over stone and rage boiled Davrin's blood. He would not die here. Davrin yanked the dagger from his boot and jumped up to drive it through the hurlock’s skull, ending its laughter forever.

What happened next was a blur. More fighting certainly. Ceren reaching him at last, cursing his name and his ancestors. Fire. So much fire. He'd remember the smell of burning, blighted flesh the rest of his days. A healer that seemed to share Ceren’s sentiments about his intelligence and a healing potion was pressed to his lips.

Ceren wouldn’t leave his side. Later, Davrin would wish he had.

~~

Present Day

Davrin closed his old journal, rubbing the back of his neck. He left it with the others holding Ceren’s name and went back to the half-finished letter on his desk. He wouldn’t send it. She wouldn’t want to read it if he did. But it helped. He’d crossed out more than half of it, rewritten the rest. Started over and repeated the process. He still couldn’t explain it, even to himself. At last, eyes burning, he snuffed the lantern and gave up. Sihu was right.

He just wished she wasn’t.

Chapter Text

Sihu swung her hammer, wiping sweat from her brow, and laughing at whatever Sunny and Myrna were jostling each other about. They’d been sent to this small village, in an unlikely copse of oak trees, withered and gnarled and bent from protecting their denizens, to fortify it against a darkspawn attack. The small river that flowed through this valley kept them alive, and it was a relief to find clear water flowing strong. It was cooler, and the fog had rolled in, filling this valley, transforming it. There was so much green. The villagers had welcomed them, even the Warden elves, with something like open arms. They were isolated, up high in the mountains. An old, crumbly chantry held center stage, guarding the best road out. It might have once been a sight to behold, but Sihu found more interest in these people and their many legends and fat pigs. She finished up in the old tunnel underneath the thing and went to work on their barriers up top, the memories of her last time underground too fresh for her liking.

It was a beautiful day, but for one problem. He was sulking in the corner, trying to shirk his duties again, and Sihu turned to find Evka berating him within an inch of his life. Jonas, stuck with them by decree of the First Warden, his reward for snitching on her and Davrin. Why the First Warden felt the need to punish them with a man who couldn’t find north if given directions, Sihu could never guess. Only that it didn’t appear to be working, and all the charms of the village couldn’t shake the brat’s sour expression. Good.

When they finished for the day the children were waiting for her again, a small crowd of them, holding the ball she’d made for them from spare pigskin and luck. She tossed it in the air and Myrna, Sunny, and Kab, and Anotine soon found an excuse to join the game. They ran through the village, and Sihu was reminded all too well of her own childhood with the clan, the rare times her father had done the same and her mother let her out of her studies long enough to play.

The stray thought brought a sense of unease, but then Kab grabbed her around the middle to keep her from kicking the ball while one of the kids stole it and Myrna and Sunny tackled them both and the ball lay forgotten as the kids piled on as well and Antoine stood over them, hands on his hips as he laughed, and Sihu’s giggling wouldn’t be contained when they finally let her back up. When the dinner call sounded they went arm and arm and hand in hand in a tangle of laughter and not even Jonas could dampen her mood as the sky spilled over with orange and pink and she wondered if the First Warden had meant for this punishment to go so right.

~~

Davrin’s tongue between her legs and her fingers in his hair and his fingers driving her to buck against him again, calling out his name as she came. He laughed, and pulled his fingers out, and when she shifted her rested the palm of his hand on her stomach, her slick wetting her skin, and the hungry look he gave had her dragging her nails on his scalp and he grinned, then dipped his tongue lower and-

Sihu woke up as she had every day for the last week, slick with sweat and just as exhausted and frustrated as she had when she’d gone to bed. An hour before anyone else would. She’d been trying to cum on her own to no avail, her body and mind at odds with each other.

She sat up, staring into the swirling mist, the silence it brought weighing on her. Davrin’s shade was haunting her, the pain in his eyes when she’d rejected him before he could even say a word. It felt worse with time, not better, the pain an oozing wound that wouldn’t close over. Sihu missed him. His laugh, the sound of his carving, his extensive knowledge of the world around him, how he’d read for hours if left to his own devices, cross-referencing everything he could find for his book. She kept thinking of things to say to him and knew none of it would make it better. So, she dressed and grabbed her bow, determined to help feed the villagers if nothing else, and her clan was on her mind once more.

It had been easy at first, to shed her old life as a Dalish elf, and become a soldier. Easy, but for the thrill of the chase and a man that embodied all she had tried to forget. She was the hunter her mother had always feared she be, and something about that settled her as she moved through the small wood on her own, remembering how her father had once taught her how to step just so, her aunt guiding her hands to shape her first bow, how she’d learned what made a worthy target by watching the hunters and longing for their easy camaraderie. It had been hers too, when Dirathara had finally let her claws loose, and but for a howl in the gloom and the blight it may still have been.

Receive the gifts of the hunt with mindfulness.

Sihu smiled to herself, and somehow that made it all bearable again.

Then the branch cracked behind her and she whirled, arrow knocked, and found herself aiming right in between Jonas’ eyes. For a moment neither of them moved, and she wanted to let her hand fly. He raised his hands and she lowered her bow and snarled at him.

“Are you following me?”

He growled back. “No. I merely wanted a wash in the river. If that’s alright with you.”

“It’s not. Don’t want the fish to get sick.”

“What’s wrong? Skittish around all these shem? Rabbit want to run for her rabbit lover and-”

This time Sihu did let her arrow fly and it hit the tree behind him, taking a small chunk of his ear with it. He reached for his bleeding ear and looked at her in shock.

“Enough. We’re here to help this village. So shut up and help, or the next one goes between your eyes. Either way I’m done with you.”

Jonas paled, and it might have ended there. He might have gotten the chance to change at last. But for the howl that shattered the silence, the hoard of darkspawn it brought with it. They both felt it, singing them home, a thousand voices screaming in their heads at once, asking them to join. Sihu turned to Jonas and Jonas turned to her and for a moment they were only two Wardens on the edge of a darkspawn army.

Then the ogre growled from behind him and he panicked. Sihu did to, because in his terror he ran in the wrong direction.

“Jonas don’t-”

The fog swallowed him. For a moment, nothing but the cacophony in her head. One heartbeat. Two. He screamed and she heard a sickening crunch and he screamed louder.

Then he stopped.

They swarmed, aware of her now. Sihu pulled her grenades and primed them, tossing them before she ran. The explosion cracked through the morning air and she knew at least someone would have heard that. Soil and branches rained down on her head as she bolted for the crumbling chantry. Her ploy had bought her time, but not for long. The ghouls were on her, her lung burning as she pushed herself faster and faster and a claw on the back of her armor and the whistle of an arrow as she ducked past the line the others had formed, pushing out to defend her. Evka grabbed her elbow, steadying her.

“You alright?”

She nodded. “But Jonas-”

Evka pulled her hammer from her back, frowning.  “Time to test our fortifications.”

Sihu straightened. She heard them. A hoard. She glanced around at the little village and it hit her again. There were too few wardens and too many darkspawn and there was no time.

As the sapling bends, so must you.

“Evka we need to blow the road. Cut them off. We’re sitting ducks here, there’s no way out!”

“You can’t go back out there there’s too many! We can’t keep them off of you long enough!”

She pointed towards the chantry and Evka turned to her, grabbing her shoulder. “Sihu-”

“It’s the only way! We need to buy time!”

“I am ordering you not to go!” Evka shook her head. “We will find another way!”

Sihu nodded, not willing to argue. She’d decided to disobey that order as soon as Evka said it. They went together towards the others, and then Sihu ran, gathering the rest of her grenades. She’d spent enough time in those tunnels that week to know just where to place them. Evka called out after her as she once again forced herself into the dark and dank, placing her charges as she went. There was no time for regret, no time to think.

She wondered, briefly, as she snipped the last of the wires with her favorite dagger, what Davrin would say if he was here. If he’d be dragging her back to the surface, telling her she was an idiot. Or if he’d be down there with her, setting the charges. There was no archdemon to sacrifice herself to.

But this? This she could do, and happily.

Stike true, and do not waver.  

She swallowed her fear of the dark and the sure knowledge she was about to die alone and primed the first charge. She got as far as she good and still see in the gloom, lit an arrow on fire, and sent it on its way, not having to check to see if she’d hit her target. Once more she was running, running, running, the wrong way towards the hoard but it was the only way. She barely kept her feet as one by one explosives toppled their fresh reinforcements and the roar grew louder and louder and the world around her shook and then-

She wasn’t fast enough.

Pain shot through her leg as it was pinned under rubble. It was thunder in her ears and blinding whiteness as she was swallowed whole.

She’d thought about how she might die. More than once. If she would call out to the gods of her people for succor, maybe plead for her mother one last time, or if would be too fast and too violent as any good Warden’s death should be. What she hadn’t expected was for blighted claws to find her, drag her back to the surface, and the pain to be too great for her to even choke on her fear as she stared into the face of another Warden, lost to the taint as they looked her over, more monster than mortal.

“She’ll do.”

Chapter Text

Five years earlier, give or take.

Davrin would never tell the man, but he liked the moments Ceren and him fell asleep next to each other. It was against the other man’s rules, but he never forced Davrin out of his bed either. It eased back the dreams, having Ceren’s warmth beside him. Eased the ache in his chest when they were apart. He’d hold these quiet moments to himself, a balm against the darkness, carry them with him on his hunts. He wouldn’t allow himself more. He wouldn’t allow himself to ask Ceren for what he really wanted.

But times like these the words were on his tongue, begging to be heard.

He could feel it when dawn began to approach, the faint streak of sunlight that filtered through Ceren’s door started to turn gold. His heart caught in his throat when the other man opened his eyes, for once soft as honey as he smiled at Davrin, who’d forgotten to look away. Ceren reached over and traced Davrin’s vallaslin, chuckling.

“You were watching me again.”

Davrin made a noncommittal hum and Ceren pulled away, sitting up to get dressed. Davrin did the same, knowing time was just about up. He was slower than he should have been, lacing his pants together, enjoying the ache from the night before.

“Where you off to next?”

Davrin’s fingers stumbled, and he bit back a sigh. “The Wandering Hills.”

“How are you supposed to kill a hillside?”

Davrin snorted, pulling off his shirt. “Gotta figure out what they are first. As usual.”

Ceren closed the distance between them, pulling Davrin into a kiss he didn’t expect. There was a tenderness in his eyes Davrin could no longer take. His stomach dropped as the other man pulled away, not knowing what he’d done. Ceren had learned him well by now, and he frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

The words were stuck in his throat. For a moment, Ceren tilting his head with concern. So Davrin finally told him.

“I need more Ceren. This isn’t…it’s not enough any more. I love you.”

Ceren stared at him, eyes widening, then he turned away and shook his head.

“Davrin we can’t. You know that. Don’t ruin a good thing.”

It hurt. Damned if it didn’t hurt. His heart ached.

“Why am I not enough? Why isn’t this enough?”

Ceren turned back, Davrin’s anger rousing something in him.

“I never s-Davrin it’s not you. You only think you want more but I am not enough for you. I can’t give you want you want! What you think we’re going to ride off into the sunset together? Get married? Adopt a couple of kids? We’re Wardens. I’m going to die on you! One or another this is a death sentence and you’re smart enough to know that!”

Davrin glared at him. “You’re a damned coward you know that? I’m not asking you to marry me I’m asking you to admit you feel the same way about me that I feel about you! This is more but you’re too much of an asshole to admit it!”

“I won’t. I can’t. I’m not worth it Davrin! I never have been!”

Davrin growled, then turned to leave. Ceren didn’t try to stop him.

That would always sting the most.

~~

Turned out, Ceren was right. Davrin avoided him most of that next year after their fight. Started taking on more and more hunts alone. Darkness was his sparring partner, and the more he threw himself into his craft, the better he got. Enough to impress the First Warden even. Enough, to finally get him a promotion and his own room. Enough, to help ease the pain.  

There were other warm bodies in his bed. One-night stands. Others, who like him, only needed release.

None of them were the one he wanted, but that didn’t matter either. Or so he’d almost convinced himself, until there was a knock on his door. Ceren had come to darken it one more time. Only…he looked haggard. Guilty even. The dark circles under his eyes like bruises. When Davrin froze, he smiled, and it didn’t meet his eyes.

“You have no reason to let me in.”

Davrin agreed. “No. I don’t.”

“May I?”

Even after everything, he knew Ceren well enough to open the door farther, inviting him inside. Davrin sat his desk, feeling heavy, while Ceren began to pace. Finally, he exhaled, turning to Davrin with those golden eyes.

“It’s time. The Calling. It’s…early. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

A blow he hadn’t been expecting. It turned out a year wasn’t long enough. No amount of time, would ever have been enough. He couldn’t find the words. Ceren cracked first, turning to him.

“You have anything to drink?”

Davrin nodded, finding the bottle, not bothering with glasses as he handed it over. Ceren gave him a twisted grin, and tipped it towards him.

“To your health. You’ve been a better friend than I deserved.”

A harsh laugh escaped him. “How? You’re still a young man-”

“Do you think the blight cares? It comes for us all.” Ceren took a deep swig, handing the bottle back. “It’ll be a relief really. The nightmares…”

He drifted off and Davrin let the whiskey burn through him. He’d been made hollow. Ceren met his eyes; and finally stopped pacing.

“I’m sorry. I was an asshole. You deserved better. You always did.”

Too late. It was all he could think. All too late.

“Nowhere else you’d rather be?”

Ceren snorted. “Rivain maybe. But with anyone else? No.”

Davrin didn’t know what to say to that. He sat down on the bed and they drank in silence. Ceren stared at the wall, seeing something Davrin couldn’t.

“I have three brothers. All still in Minrathous. Two of them are still in school.”

“Your parents know?” Davrin moved to sit next to him on the bed.

Ceren nodded absently. “Sent them a letter. It’ll get there…after.”

“You could’ve gone back. Said goodbye.”

The other man turned to him, mouth quirking. “You know better than anyone, you can’t go home again.”

Davrin took another pull rather than answer. “Rivain huh?”

“I don’t know why I said that. I hate sand.”

Davrin chuckled, some of the tension in him loosening, if just for a moment. “Is there anything you don’t hate?”

“Cats. Then you.” Ceren winked. “In that order.”

He had to be dying. Davrin broke as Ceren’s voice did, and he pulled him close.

“I can’t believe you want to spend your last night with me.” He whispered in Ceren’s ear.

“I can’t believe you think I’d rather spend it with anyone else.”

He didn’t want to cry. He couldn’t give Ceren that much. So he kissed him instead. Nothing about it was gentle. Whatever they had, it was going with Ceren into the Deep Roads. A piece of Davrin, lost forever.

As he pushed Ceren back onto the bed, he decided he could live with that.

In the morning, he didn’t let Davrin say goodbye. Only left another letter next to him on the bed. When Davrin cried for him, he did it alone, then went back to work.

~~

Present Day

The Gloom Howler’s trail was fading. Davrin would scream his frustration to the wind, but his throat was too dry, and water was scarce. He’d closed in on another abandoned Warden fortress. He knew of it. The Aerie. Used to house griffons and guard this front, before it was abandoned as the land died around it. The pockmarked land, the scar of the Fourth Blight, forever warping this stretch of mountains. He’d found feral hogs and brackish water, and not much else. A pair of brown eyes and a pirate’s smile haunted him as he walked, and like the land around him he’d never be truly free of his ghosts. Not that it mattered, when he saw the first darkspawn. Their bodies had long since been drained of life, desiccated by the sweltering sun. But what was odd were the wounds on their bodies. The skin around each was ragged and bloodless, made after they had died, as if by vultures with much bigger beaks. The marks of scavengers. Only animals knew better than to touch blighted flesh. He’d never, in all his years as a Warden, seen such signs on a darkspawn before.

He went over what he knew as he passed more darkspawn, realizing someone had arranged them that way. The Gloom Howler went after Wardens. Its howl could be heard for miles. No witnesses had lived long enough to describe what it was. It appeared corpuscular, attacking at dawn or dusk most often. It had haunted the Deep Roads, but it was on the move, going after more Wardens.

Davrin turned over each piece of the puzzle in his mind. Now, an animal, potentially blighted, with a penchant for dead darkspawn?

Which is when he found the tracks. Proper footprints in the Anderfels were hard to come by. The ceaseless wind quickly buried them in dust if they formed at all, and there was hardly rain enough for mud and certainly never snow. He’d typically find scat most often, scattered bits of fur or scales and food if he was really lucky. But these. Unmistakable in the blighted blood that had dried on the ground. Half a print of a feline, and the other much larger, some kind of raptor…but much too large for even a condor.

Either the marks were the Gloom Howler’s handiwork, which he’d find no sign of before, or a new monster or animal he wasn’t familiar with. One that can’t be here. He wasn’t sure which one he preferred, and drew his sword as instinct pebbled his skin.

Davrin rounded the bend and there was a slew of dead darkspawn, much fresher than the others. A day or two old at the most. Worst still, was the blue armor, belonging to someone who had moved their last. He checked for any active threats then ran to their side, realizing he knew her. Remi. They had never been close. She’d been torn open and left for dead, the same as the Gloom Howler’s other victims. Davrin closed her eyes and got back to his feet, intending to give her a proper cremation when he knew what was going on.

He climbed higher. He found more fallen darkspawn and his stomach churned at the smell. It brought out the song in his head, the one that always lingered, as much a part of him as his sword arm. It called and called, only fading when he found the crumpled note, ruined from blood, but which he could just make out the impossible words.

Training is going well. The griffons learn faster together. One picks up a trick and the others try it out. How loud they get, the little mischief makers!

They’re also growing faster than I th-

The rest had been destroyed. Impossible. And yet…his mind whirled as he found the next body, a man named Lancit, gone on a mission the same time as Remi. A pile of darkspawn around him and not a single sign of a griffon. The Aerie had become a tomb. The further in the worse it got, and he too wondered if he’d find his grave here at last.

The metal of his boots echoed on stone. The wind had still entirely, leaving the noon sun wretched and baking. Davrin found nests. He found feathers. He found scat he supposed had to be somewhere between a lion and eagle. He closed his eyes, then explored further.

Nothing. The griffons, undoubtedly here as much as he could scarcely believe it, were gone.

~~

Davrin got to work. He combed over the eerie, and a thrill ran through him whenever he found more proof that the griffons were back and that they had been here. He gave Lancit and Remi their due, then piled everything he had from them together, taking careful notes. By the time he was done, two things were clear. The Gloom Howler had taken more Wardens before their time, and the only griffons left in the world had disappeared again.

He was reluctant to camp the night, but he needed to think about his next course of action. The First Warden had to know. Which meant the Order was keeping yet one more secret. He’d found no mention of where the griffons had come from, but there could be no other reason to place them out here but to hide them. It begged another question. What was the Gloom Howler? How was it commanding Darkspawn?

He gathered his wayward thoughts in his journal, chewing on the quill, trying to fit it altogether and giving himself a headache in the process. He could go to the First Warden with it. The man might even answer. But Davrin decided he wanted more information first. Information Antoine and Evka might have. He knew they’d been sent to fortify a nameless village.

The fact Sihu would be there…he hesitated, then turned to the letter he’d half-written, wanting to explain. Frustrated he snapped his journal closed and rolled over to look at the stars.

Dawn couldn’t come soon enough. When it did he was off. He’d passed through the village once before, and the way was easy enough. His thoughts went in circles, trying to figure out what connection there could possibly be to the Gloom Howler and the griffons. Enough so the miles fell away quickly, and within another three days he was closing in. The climb up the narrow pass was the hardest part, but he was eager and willing. He heard the howl first and started running, the elevation making his lungs burn. It wasn’t twenty minutes before the explosion came next. It echoed around the mountains like thunder.