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Chapter Text

Geto Suguru knew Gojo how could he not after they went to the same school elementary school middle school of course low and behold now they were in the same high school. Not only they shared the same academic path, but the two best friends were also neighbours since well forever. Even though they lived in an ordinary street in a typical small town, while Suguru lived in a smaller older house that was made in the seventies, Gojo’s family had razed the old house next to his to build a rather extravangant house.

Geto knew Gojo of course he knew him but that was not all there was. It was always easy with Gojo, it had been so long , that his never-ending admiration towards his neighbour was just a part of him. For better or for worse he was undeniably irrevocably in love with Gojo Satoru.

They were each other’s one and only Satoru ran to Suguru’s arm when he felt neglected by his parent who were not around much. And in those moments when he felt cold and wanted comfort to relish in Suguru warm touch. Suguru on the other hand was the byproduct of a failing marriage conceived to fix it, little did he know he needed as much comfort as he gave, and Satoru was always here to give it to him.

What’s worst then being neighbours with your lifelong crush and best friend to whom you can’t admit your feelings to? Having adjacent bedroom windows. Since Geto could remember their room looked at each other. Meaning they could see each other’s bedroom.

Geto’s room had instruments scattered around a guitar a piano his trombone (being in a school marching band meant that he would only be able to play marching band instruments no matter how lame he thought they were) he also had many other small Knick knacks he used to make sounds alongside the instrument. He had poetry books on his side table and multiple notebooks it had a dark colour scheme not having the energy to change the room his 14 year old emo self had decorated.

Satoru’s room from what he could see was a normal teenage boy’s room way brighter than Geto’s. Mostly a baby blue colour scheme bedsheets curtains.His room was adorned with trophies he had earned from multiple football matches and his uniform was on display. Satoru’s room was mostly clean curtesy of the housekeepers Geto thought his own room was always messy, but he liked, It that way it was a calming mess.

Gojo Satoru had it all he was tall lean handsome, quarterback on the school’s football team he had perfect grades as well as girls sticking to him a like bees to honey. His messy white hair was soft and silky even though it looked spiky his beautiful blue eyes were just the perfect shade. Suguru liked simple things in life a good book a nice meal he wasn’t the most intelligent or studious, he liked music, so he was in the marching band he liked to take life easy any harder and he would crack.

Although it wasn’t the coolest thing it helped him to practice more, on top of that he could see Satoru play and support him in his own way. He didn’t see himself as the main character or anything of the sort, but he got by just fine he knew himself and never dreamed too high just enough.

Suguru was always too self-aware for his own good, sometimes whishing he could just remain ignorant. His hyper self-awareness meant that he knew Gojo was meant for bigger things, the best colleges, a respectable job, a successful life only the best for Gojo Satoru.

Well, Geto was enamoured he knew that, but he also knew that it was unreachable that made it weirdly better he admired the latter and never expected anything in return why would he? Sure, they were neighbours and lifelong best friends, and sure he could maybe join the cheer team to get closer to the quarterback in a more romantic way. Maybe even try and get his attention more instead of being a lame trombonist maybe he could even make his feelings obvious to the other boy and pursue a – no – he wouldn’t do that because above all Geto knew himself. He knew that Gojo Satoru the ace of the football team, the straight A student, with dashing looks and charming smile with many fan girls was in fact out of his league. But suguru Geto was daring enough to dream more at every moment they shared. At every hug every brush of finger every word of affection uttered.

They had been there for each other all along, Geto always thought they maybe they belonged together, they would have deep conversation about their lives. And Geto was foolish enough to believe it meant something. All the time they spend together all the secrets they shared laugh they shared it had been a while since he had seen Gojo smiling like that.

Being lifelong neighbours ,they had many conversations about pretty much anything, mostly it would just be Satoru babbling continuously about random things and Suguru listening to it well all of that was before.

Nowadays they were acquaintances on a good day, some days Satoru even pretends he doesn’t know Geto. But before all that over the years the pair had also developed habits to talk through their window although it’s something they stopped doing now but when they used be close .Especially when they were in middle school or so they used to talk with notes now they mostly used white boards. They each had one a small whiteboard they would use to have full fledge conversations. Satoru would write some inappropriate jokes or equally dirty sketches. They would write until they were both sleepy each night and most morning when they had time.

Those moments always made Geto blush especially when he would see Satoru wake up shirtless, messy hair, morning voice and sleepy face the taller man would take the small whiteboard looking at Geto through his window flashing a cheeky grin as he leans his forearm against his window.

Some morning, he would fog up his window with his breath drawing a little heart.

Cheesy thought Suguru yet continued to indulge him.

Good morning he would write on the whiteboard.

- Would - write that is they don’t talk anymore.

Suguru would blush surely, and he swears he saw the other boy reddening up at the sight, but he can’t be so sure anymore not after they parted way. Were they truly even friends ?

The morning, he wakes looks at his alarm clock 6 am he yawns, proceeding to up looks out his window once again reminiscing on simpler days their falling out was without explanation it simply happened.

Suguru’s sleepy mind went to a particular day a few weeks before they ended their lifelong friendship.

He had decided to practice guitars with his window half opened. A few moments later the baby blue curtains are pulled open. 

Satoru in his school attire appears still wearing those obnoxious shades. 

Gojo smiles opening his window.

“Hmm. you are practicing?”

“isn’t it obvious” says Geto trying to seem nonchalant.

“Can I listen?”

Suguru looks up to his best friend adjusting his guitar sitting cross legged on his bed facing the window “it’s not like it’s the first time”

“Sure, but it has been a while since I heard you play guitar, now all you play is that trombone. I can never hear you with all the noise during games and no offense, but the marching band just hurts my ears”

Geto chuckles “non taken, we try to be louder than the crowd, the crowd tries to be louder than us obviously it’s more a cacophony than anything”

"Gojo chuckled well do show your talent. I missed it." he said teasingly.

“As you wish" he teased a gentle smile appearing on his face.

Geto starts strumming his guitar gently a soothing melody not a specific sound just a light tune. Gojo leans against his window closing his eyes barely visible behind the shades. All the while humming a familiar tune they stay like that humming and strumming.

-BEEP BEEP BEEP

“fuck” Suguru said getting up. He wears his usual black sweater and harem pants getting out of his house walking towards his school. He didn’t have a lot of friends before all of this because he was Satoru’s “best friend” people usually gave him a free pass, either indulging in conversation with him for Satoru’s sake or simply not messing with him.

It was safe to say that Geto was an easy target for bullies. He kept his hair long usually up in bun but sometimes all the way down to his collarbone paired with his gauges and unconventional way of dressing he was easy to notice. To top it all of he was part of the marching band Geto was all the package.

he had never been bothered thanks to Satoru, but the past year was definitely tiring since Gojo had made it his life mission to act like Geto didn’t exist there wasn’t any reason the bullies had to hold themselves back.

He comes in front of the school gates looking down trying to make it through the crowd. After the less-than-ideal morning he had he thought the day could only get better. How wrong he was. As he walks towards his locker, he sees a small group of people standing near it looking at the metal locker. he comes in front of his locker.

FAGGOT

Was written in black bold letter on it. Geto looks around they couldn’t be serious what the fuck. He didn’t take it seriously this only increased his hatred for this small town and his high school that he didn’t hold at a high regard to begin with.

“What is wrong with this school? Seriously” Geto was nearly bursting into flames.

 He feels a hand on his shoulder and thank God it was Shoko. She was his only friend was his only friend in this hellhole. The only one who got his general humour and his like for more subtle things for calmness as well as his uncaring attitude towards the high school hierarchy which also didn’t seem to interest her. (before Shoko he had Gojo but that’s beside the point he thought) People like her were rare so friends they became.

“Again?” Shoko said sighing.

“Apparently they are that desperate and petty seriously where are we the 80s?’’ Geto says frustrated.

’’I thought these types of things only happened in movies” said Shoko chuckling.

“Tell me about it once high school is over, I’m moving out and I’m not talking to anyone from here again except you”.

“As nice as that sounds you sure you won’t talk to him?” she says pointing to Gojo making out with a cheerleader.

“You must be kidding Its ancient history now you know that I told you he moved on from our so-called friendship I’m not going to care and he sure as hell isn’t going to, he hasn’t for the past year.”

“Oh, please get stop being so dramatic do you even see the way he looks at you half the time, he has those puppy eyes”.

“Those puppy eyes are for that girl he is making out with not me believe me I would know” he says not leaving any room for argument.

“Fine fine let’s clean this up then” she says taking out wipes.

They wipe away, when the bell rings you could still make the words out but it’s not that visible Suguru thinks it’s good enough although he is still seething with anger.

Shoko goes to her class, while Geto had PE he sighs and of course it was dodgeball he sat out most of the time, so the coach forced him to participate this time. He couldn’t wait for this day to be over. As he enters the gym, he sees Satoru in all his glory white hair messy glassy blue eyes. He was telling some joke his smile not reaching his eyes. It hadn’t for a while now the last time Geto saw the boy smile was when they were still friends.

Satoru looks his way and Suguru loses all logic his mouth dries out his palms are sweaty his clothes feel suffocating even thought he only wears large flowy clothing. They keep eye contact until Gojo takes a step further and leaves the gym not looking back.

Suguru doesn’t look back. He isn’t going to care about someone who stopped caring and starts running laps as the coach instructs.

During the game he opts to get eliminated first so he can sit it out.A group of boys that he recognizes from the football team and the specific group of guys that gave him trouble probably the culprits behind the locker incident. The 3 boys laugh amongst each other one of the guys throws the balls hard lands on Suguru, elbow he falls backwards.

“What the fuck” Geto says as he holds, his elbow.

The tree guys laugh while Geto manages to get up.

“Geto go to the nurse before you get bruise” the coach says.

He glares at the 3 guys he wasn’t going to give them satisfaction of watching him leave in defeat, so he leaves his head high.

“Yes sir” Geto hold his elbow waking out of the gym in the school halls and his heart nearly drops.

There he sees Gojo in his glorious self-crouch down wiping off Geto’s locker, the bucket filled with water and ink, the locker looked way cleaner you couldn’t make out the word anymore.

Chapter Text

Suguru always believed that whatever they had going on would last forever. He didn't want to listen to the little voice in his head who said he wasn’t enough that sooner or later Satoru would find someone better, someone worthy of him. 

After all, they were seniors and up until now everything had been going great right ? So over the years as they got closer and closer Suguru was sure that the other boy also felt the same. Before the whiteboard system the two talked with little notes and Geto had written a particular note in a blank paper that he was going to show Gojo one day. 

I love you was written on it.

As cheesy as it was, Geto had it inside the drawer of his nightstand. Whenever they talked through their windows, Suguru would glance at the note thinking this is this the day he reveals it? 

Yet that day had never come, and before he knew it they had stopped talking. He didn't know if hiding the note had been a good or bad decision.

The days that preceded the incident were some of the hottest summer days. School had just started and the pair entered their senior year. 

Geto still remembers the day everything changed, the days their friendship ceased to be. They attended a congratulatory party thrown for Gojo's winning game yet again. The pair had fun and were quite tipsy as they entered their houses.  

They had scribbled away almost all night, Geto sitting crossed legged on his bed and Gojo was laying down. When both of them got too tired to write on their respective whiteboards, they started a cheesy no you stop writing, no you stop writing moment, Geto quickly got tired.

-Ok the im stopping- Geto wrote down.

-Boo that’s not how you play you’re supposed to say no you hang up- Gojo wrote as answer.

“Too bad” mouths Geto through his window a subtle smirk forming on his lips.

Gojo sights

Geto pulled down the shades. As if on cue Gojo send him a message.

From satoru:

You’re too mean for your own good ! good night :(

Getou couldn’t help but blush..

To satoru:

Good night 

From satoru:

Oh I knew you loved me, See you tomorrow sugarboo <3 

To satoru:

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

This was their usual banter. Geto didn't think anything of it. This was a game he knew too well..Gojo was way too clingy for his own good and geto liked boundaries but the blue eyed man was an obvious exception to the rule.

The next day, Getou had woken up half expecting Gojo to have his whiteboard up against the window with some sort of sassy remark or inappropriate joke. Yet as he pulled up the shade, he noticed that the whiteboard wasn't against the window, not only that but his curtains were also closed shut.

Weird geto thought but he didn't want to overthink the implication behind that. He shrugged, getting out of bed and into his usual attire, as he got ready for school, he got out the door and noticed that Satoru’s car was not in his driveway. 

Geto looked at Gojo’s house confused. Gojo would always drive him to school except the morning where he had practice before class. Suguru knew that he didn't have that today, again he ignored it, opting to walk to school.

 When he gets closer to the school gate, Suguru notices the baby blue beetle convertible.

Geto looks at the car. This is definitely Satoru’s car. He can clearly see the bags of strawberry flavored gummy bear, still in the backseat and obnoxious digimon charm (that  Suguru had bought him on his birthday) that was on the view mirror. 

But the real kicker came when before he could see anything or anyone else, he spotted Gojo. He was there against the school gate kissing someone.Geto squinted his eyes trying to see better. What was going on?

Geto scratched the non existante itch on his ear. Fidgeting, which is something he mostly did when he was anxious ,taking his gauges out of his ear, as he racked his brain, how could this happen ? They were best friends. They told each other everything they had shared a lifetime together. Geto looks flabbergasted at the odd sight of his best friend fondling a girl he couldn’t even recognize. 

As far as geto remembered, the pair had never really talked about dating in a serious way. Geto reminisced on a memory that seemed distant where Gojo had skipped practice to annoy Geto little did the quarterback know Geto relished in those small intimate moments they shared.

As they were both sitting on the bleachers, watching the other football players train. Both looked on the field's shoulders touching Geto trying his best to ignore it. Gojo leans his head on the shorter boy's shoulder.

“Why don’t you join practice, don’t you have a game soon?” Geto said, trying to keep his voice surface level.

“I'd rather be with you Suguru, you’re my one and only after all aren’t you.” says Gojo thought teasingly his voice was soft.

“How cheesy can you get?” Geto said.

“Suguru, you're the only one who understands me…” Gojo said uncharacteristically soft looking not at geto but at his teammates.

“Says mister quarterback, you literally have to chase girls away seriously.” Geto retorks sarcastically.

“Come on, I’m being serious out here you know I don't care about them.” he says nuzzling his face on Geto’s’s neck, “and don’t think I don't know why you joined the marching band.” 

Suguru holds his breath, “You're too clingy…and you’re wrong  this school doesn't have a music club that's the only reason” Geto says to defend himself.

Gojo pokes Geto’s cheek, “Come on you don’t have to pretend with me,  you know you could’ve just joined the cheer team if you wanted to  support ‘yours truly’ during games.”

“Me? Cheering? Hell no I’m not a chick”He relaxes as Satoru straighteners up

Gojo laughed his blue eyes sparkling under the glistening sun“You don’t need to be one” Satoru answers “hell I like you even in your dorky marching costume especially the huge feathered hat.” Satoru laughs.

Geto pushes gojo, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest “shut up”

“You love me” Gojo teased playing with Geto’s hair 

Geto let him play with his hair soft fingers carding through his long hair they both fell into their intimate routine.

As a student honks at Geto for being in the parking lot, he realises he had been standing around. As he approaches the gate he continues staring at Gojo.

He approached them while he was still making out with her. 

“Hey, you left early this morning. Did you have morning practice? I thought those were just Fridays.” Geto said trying to understand just what the fuck was going. Why was Gojo Satoru, his best friend, kissing a random girl? Why didn't he wait for Geto? Everything was fine last night. The goodnight message was the reminder of that.

“No, I didn't have practice.” says Gojo, voice sharp.

“Why didn't you wait for me?” then Geto says, still trying to keep the mood light.

Gojo simply said,“Why would I ?”

“What do you mean, why would I? Hasn't it always been like that?” retorted Geto, furrowing his brows.

His hold on the cheerleader tighten “Suguru” he says voice sharp “I'm not your driver can you just leave, can't you see I’m busy here”

Suguru was dumbfounded. Satoru never had any interest in girls. Admittedly  he was popular but he always thought that Satoru would at least talk about it before acting like this. Suguru looks at the date making sure it's not April fools or something, was this a dream ?a hallucination maybe?

Despite being utterly shaken, he tries to answer ‘I never said you were my driver, we just drive together to school  since you got your license’ Geto wanted to say, but no words came out.

Satoru holds a hand in front of his face waving it for a split second Suguru sees those beautiful blue eyes he would kill to drown in right now. And the taller man was looking worried? Maybe he just saw it wrong.

“Earth to Suguru hey” Gojo says, still waving a hand.

“Uh.. yes.. what?” He looked at Gojo,the white haired man still holding on to the cheerleader.

“You freezed there.. I told you to go ahead, I have my hands full” said Gojo, less sharply.

Suguru looks down as he rushes ahead and Satoru says something. But Geto will not have it  “shut up” he retorks. Being embarrassed at being seen as dumbfounded as he had been.

Suguru skips the rest of class, it's not like he cares anyway. He comes home. His mom was at home.

“Suguru…”his mom said with a worried look.

”Now mom, I'm tired,” Suguru answered head low.

“Wait Suguru honey did something-”

He shuts the bathroom door locking it. He needed to be alone to not be bothered. He entered the shower letting the steaming hot water flow .The shower head whistled like a kettle.

 he crumbles under the pressure of rejection. He might have had to mask it at the moment when Satoru outright talked to him like he meant nothing. But Satoru’s words weighed heavily on him and he could feel the tears threatening to spill .Suguru  likes to take scorching hot showers. It helps him forget and just focus on the burning feeling of his skin, the hot water making red splotches blossom on his body.

Suguru looks down thinking about all that happened. All the moments they had shared together, everytime Geto’s mom or dad  got on his nerves and lord knew they got to him, or when school got harder to go to,  when getting out of bed became a hard task, everytime Gojo felt neglected and alone all the times they hugged through the pain.

He would have enjoyed those days more, days they fell into their easy routine, if he knew it would be over one day. would he have done things differently? He thinks as he remembers Gojo kissing the cheerleader. 

As of that moment, after that fateful day without uttering a single word their friendship had ended Gojo no longer texted geto, the whiteboard remained untouched curtains perpetually closed Geto wondered what did he do wrong? 

his mind went to the piece of paper tucked in the drawer of his nightstand since forever, since Satoru became the only thing he cared about.

I love you.

Geto always knew that this was too good to be true if Gojo was going to do that then so be it two could play at that game though Geto.  

That marked the end of their friendship as well as the beginning of their life without one another. Suguru assumed that would just mean nothing for Satoru; he just had to continue his life without being pulled back by a dead weight.

Suguru wasn’t in any means weak he had a strong will but he was above all a realist he knew Gojo could do better and that he did. 

So he just had to get with the program, Satoru had always been popular, girls always had crushes on him and he was admired or envied by boys. He on the other hand got to bask in the shine of satoru’s halo, he was never bothered, never harassed, Satoru never let that happen.

Had let that is.

For all Geto knew that was long over, all Gojo did nowadays was hang out with people who had a horrendous lack of self awareness, people which he himself would rather die than have a conversation with.

Chapter Text

Summer had passed, as did their days together. The cold winter days persevered as Geto had continued to walk to school, regretting not getting his drivers licence and trusting Satoru with it. 

He felt so stupid. after their fall out it was like his life came to a halt. Geto felt as if the days stopped passing as every moment blended together into a big mush, he could only go through the motions. 

Waking up, became more of a chore than it once was,  most day he would rot on his bed not caring if it was day or night. His shade perpetually pulled down,  he couldn’t bear to see Satoru’s house, window, bedroom, bed or god forbid Satoru himself. 

So, seeing Satoru crouched down cleaning the slur off his locker after ignoring him for the past year wasn’t a welcomed sight. at least that's what he would like to think.

Geto was holding his elbow, sweaty from running laps, and angry.By not having any socially redeeming qualities without being friends with Satoru, he should have gotten used to it at this point but he couldn't help but hate it.

His involvement in the club, his attire and his attitude meant that he wasn’t the most liked person in school. He didn't have any other friends other than shoko and honestly he couldn’t care less. Yet it was annoying, especially when people were giving him a hard time for being part of the marching band. He hated his school for not having a music club. He hated his school for many things, the people, the teachers, the food, the building itself smelled like sweat and overly sweet perfume. He wanted to puke.

Gojo looks at geto then at his elbow.

“Are you alright there?” Gojo ask, getting up to his feet

“What are you doing?”Suguru asks trying to suppress his surprise

“What do you think? I'm cleaning your locker the…slur it still showed I assumed you wanted it gone” Gojo says his eyes not quite meeting his own.

“Nobody asked that of you” retorted suguru 

“Nobody needed to” he stated simply “now answer me what happened?” he said in a softer tone

“It's none of your business” suguru was utterly confused and frustrated “this spur of the moment kindness does not excuse your behavior.” he lets out a nervous laugh “you can't just ask me to pretend nothing has been going on. We we used to a pair, and friends at least I hoped we did I mean I got you and you just whatever..”suguru trailed off leaving he wasn’t going suffer through this again his heart had already been broken he didn't any further damage.

 “Wait-”

“Stop that Satoru I know better than to hope that you will eventually understand that I’m what you're looking for,  you have made that awfully clear have fun with your friends that make my life miserable and your god awful girlfriend”

Satoru attempts to reach out “Suguru! Please let me make it right…”

Suguru looks back, and as if on cue Utahime appears hugging Gojo from behind.

“Yeah right you would have already done it if you could” if you wanted went unsaid, he turns on his heel, forgetting about his aching elbow.

 Satoru stands there speechless, Utahime snuggling to him Suguru leaves. the sight making his stomach churns. He walks out on their conversation leaving Satoru and Utahime alone. 

“Oh…Satoru,” Utahime said, “why do you even bother letting him leave, you're not even friends anymore are you?”She grinned, hugging his eyes following Suguru leaving.

Satoru looks at her, his expression downcast, “ right..” he said, “for better or for worse” he added.

Utahime stayed there “so let him go that’s what you said you needed to do don’t you remember”

“I...I…thought..everything would be better if ... .if”Satoru couldn’t make out the words throat clogging tears stinging.

“It's okay you have who needs him” she says “besides” she smiles as she continues “you’re the one who decided on this you said you would take responsibility for suguru’s pain. Are you perhaps giving up on your promise” she says, knowing just how to get Satoru riled up.

“you..you..don’t-”

“get it? oh I do get it Satoru I get you more than anyone” she says voice sicky sweet “so just ignore him.”

“İ think I made everything worse.” Gojo says his eyes are still downcast.

“you think?” Utahime laughed. “ oh you definitely fucked up for all your high profil you’re quite stupid Satoru. Anyone who has eyes can see how much Suguru loves you” she says simply as if stating a fact.

Even though it's something that would make satoru’s heart melt, from her mouth it's as if she is mocking her which she is.”but it's too late now Satoru you make your choice”

Satoru gulps.” I at least have to make sure he is okay” he says.

“You really are stupid. but fine do whatever” she kisses him and leaves.

Suguru comes home and he enters his room he sees Satoru’s window and curtains open with the little whiteboard on display against the window.

 -Can we talk written on it-

Getou looks surprised. What kind of sick joke is this? After almost a year of neglect he reverts back to his old self but why? He takes out his own whiteboards as he does Satoru comes into his room, seeing Suguru writing away he rushes to the edge of his window opening and signaling suguru to do the same.

Geto opens his window as soon as he gets bombarded by Gojo talking.

“Hey..I..can we talk.”he says in the soft voice suguru recognizes his best friend for the first time in a long while.”please” he says.

“fine” he says reluctantly

he sights in relief putting his bangs out of his face suguru can see the pool of sweat underneath is he stressed? “Suguru I-I know I made plenty of wrong choices but let me make it up” he says.

Suguru says “you don’t get to do that Satoru” suguru tries to seem confident. “You don’t get to just waltz in here and pretend none of this ever happen not again”

“I know I have been a shitty friend not a shitty person but I thought that’s what you wanted please believe me” Satoru said pleading.

“What did I want ? Satoru what kind of sick joke is this” he shakes his head “one day were best buddies than the next I see you making with that cheerleader since then you completely ignore me you hang out with people who make me my life a living hell no thanks to you-”

“Suguru let me explain-” Satoru cuts.

“I'm not finished.” He cuts back seething with anger, a badly hidden one. “You might think I'm not part of your high school hierarchy wet dream but I respect myself enough to know I deserve better.”

Satoru takes a deep breath “I know and you deserve so much better. I have always known that, you’re near perfect and all I always come and outbalance your perfectly balanced life.”

“Satoru, please spare me the shitty excuse!” suguru says slowly but surely losing patience “I know you better than that if anything you just wanted to go live your high school life without a deadweight keeping you down , don’t pretend you had some noble intentions, I see you with Utahime, every single day don’t pretend you're still the same.” don’t pretend you still care goes unsaid.

“Suguru, please believe me when I say that the last thing I wanted was to hurt you, suguru you were miserable as my best friend, I could see it on your face. don’t pretend you’re above the comments..” Satoru says in a trembling voice.

“For god’ sake Satoru get your head out of your ass! how conceided are you so you thought this was better, completely ignoring me, ending our years of friendship without even consulting me.” 

“Suguru, all I wanted was for you to thrive without me holding you. You called yourself a dead weight but I’m the burden suguru” satoru takes a breath again hands shaking slightly “I only wanted you to know that you didn't need to stay with me just because we have been friends our whole life, you don’t owe me anything.”

“I don’t want to listen to you spouting bullshit” Suguru says as he leans to close the window wanting to be anywhere but here having this conversation.

“Suguru!”satoru  says to stop him from ending their conversation  he leaned his head out from the window and he was losing patience.

He stops looking at the blue eyed man.

Satoru used this opening to continue pleading his case. He knew it was a lost case but couldn’t care.“Suguru be honest what I’m saying is true, look..I’m not blind or as dense as you might think,  especially when it comes to you” he takes a deep breath. “How many times were you bullied or cornered whatever just because you were my friend” Satoru looks at the violet eyed man through his window“ you don’t deserve mean comments, Suguru, I might be selfish no I definitely am selfish when it comes to you, but I care about you too much to continue holding on to you despite knowing Im hurting you” 

Geto closes the window shutting his blinds but not before saying. “stop lying”voice straining tears stinging. 

“at least tell me..is your arm okay? it seemed to hurt earlier!” satoru manages to say in inhuman speed for suguru to hear before closing his window completely.

“none of your business” retorks swiftly, closing the window with a big bam.

He had forgotten the ache from his elbow.

Suguru sits on his bed, he couldn't believe satoru, not after everything how dare he. Suguru was angry. Well, he chose to be angry. Being angry was easier than trying to navigate whatever he was actually feeling.

He lies down on his bed staring at the bedside table wondering if things would be different if he had in any passing conversation they had through their window show the piece of paper rotting in his drawer.

he takes it out, he laughs a bit at the old paper I love you written in bold letters with a permanent marker. Suguru remembers the day he wrote this note.

They didn't have the whiteboard system yet, they talked with notes on that particular day Satoru was asking and insisting that Suguru tell him who he had a crush on. After Suguru had said to the kid across the window that ‘yes he had a crush on someone’

The young man didn't know if he should tell his best friend that the crush was indeed him . He didn't know if that was okay. Could a best friend be a lover? He had written " I love you" in his notebook, as he was about to show it to Satoru. The boy’s mom called him for dinner, as he waved goodbye and saw satoru disappear leaving his bright coloured room .

Suguru ripped the page and hid the note waiting for the day he showed satoru the note.

Now he feels dumb as he reminisces on distant memories.

The next day, as he gets ready to walk to school, his new normal (since Satoru was no longer here to drive him he curses himself everyday for not having a licence). He wears his harem pants, his black hoodie as well as his doc martens boots. There is a game today so he takes his trombone. As he gets out of his house he sees Satoru’s car still in his driveway -unusual-, usually satoru would be out by now picking out Utahime, then he sees Satoru getting out of his house his hair tousled and messy like usual and he is wearing his varsity jacket.

“Good morning” smiling warmly he says like he once did.

Chapter Text

On a winter morning, when they had just moved to their new house, Satoru was seven at that time. He was getting bored at home all alone; his parents were almost never there to begin with. He didn’t understand why they had to move. He missed his old friends. He wondered if could also have friends here. His mom had been wanting him to get homeschooled. Satoru didn't exactly know what that meant but he knew that meant he would be alone. He threw the biggest tantrum he cried for days because satoru hated being alone. 

It was a familiar feeling gnawing at him never leaving his side. Even at seven Satoru wondered if there would ever be a moment where he would never feel alone again.

 He looked out the window and there he saw him. Satoru never saw anything that beautiful in his life, out there in the snow building. A snowman was a kid his age, was it a girl? a boy? Without a second thought the kid rushed out the door, without any protection from the cold.

He goes out in the snow in socks and pajamas.

they come eye to eye.

“What are you doing idiot, it's freezing!” says the blacked hair kid who was wearing layer upon layer cheeks red from the cold. the little kid takes off his scarf putting it around Satoru’s neck.

Those were the first words Suguru said to him, and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.

They played out in the snow, until they couldn’t talk anymore, teeth clattering in the cold. They burst into laughter after that Satoru came to sugurus house everyday, eating warm meals together in winters, or ice cream in overwhelmingly hot summer.

Satoru knew from the moment he saw Geto that he was everything he wanted or needed. The loneliness that clung to him like a curse, disappeared whenever they were together. 

Whenever gojo would tell his feelings to Geto, his best friend smiled a gentle smile that accepted all of Satoru, he could tell his best friend everything no matter how heavy, no matter how absurd,dirty, cheeky, arrogant he felt free. 

 Thanks to his family background, general looks, climbing the imaginary  hierarchical ladder of high school came easy to him. He didn't try, after all, all he truly wanted was Suguru. No matter how much Gojo would rather relish in the comforting presence of his best friend ignoring his responsibilities and social obligations, yet he couldn't he had to play the part of his parents son of the Gojo satoru so he joined the football team, he had good grades, and socialised accordingly.

But with Geto he didn’t have to pretend, he could simply  be himself ,simply satoru and that would be enough Suguru would care for him. 

As years passed and they were almost seniors, satoru had  heard the people spreading hurtful rumors about Suguru because of himself no less, he couldn’t bear it.

Sure he could just beat them up or use his authority as well the “most popular guy in school” but he knew his effort would be futile. So he did what he thought Geto would want.

Gojo knew Geto had potential. He was a musical genius and really handsome at that. His tan olive skin without any imperfection, soft like baby skin, beautiful violet eyes, soft tender lips (that satoru couldn't help but look at) and of course long silky hair, that satoru dreams about all night, his favorite activity is playing with suguru’s hair sifting his fingers through the silky smooth strands they smell smell of spices and sandals wood and a hint of lemon. Suguru keeps saying that it's the shampoo but Satoru knows Suguru's natural musky scent is just as good if not better.The young men loved to get lost in those beautiful purple eyes his eyes lingered on those gauges that suguru got even thought he knew, it wouldn’t please his parent but suguru was never really one for rules.

Fitting in wasn’t his priority, more so fitting in never came easy to him contrary to Satoru. Nevertheless satoru couldn’t care less if his best friend was fitting in or not, because the only thing he really cared about was his best friend, his one and only suguru geto. 

Sure satoru could say he had it easy probably easier than any other kids and that was true he had good looks a good family name and perfect grades without even trying, not mentioning the fact that genetics were on his side for sure he had amazing reflexes and an okay body mass well good enough to be a quarterback.

Gojo was a hundred percent sure that if they had been in a big city where people weren't so close minded Geto would be more popular than him because in Satoru’s eye his gauges alternative style paired with his talent was just making him better. 

Gojo always felt bad, he assumed that by being the more conventionally acceptable one out of two, he stole Geto’s shine. 

He was convinced that the latter would have a better life if only Satoru would take a step back and let him shine yet he couldn't because above all he was selfish like that. Even if it meant Geto would become more popular he couldn’t let go of his best friend. Anything but not him.

So he did everything he could from telling people to be nice to him and compliment him in front of everyone, boosting his ego, to even warning people who crossed the line and insulted Suguru for whatever reason. 

Little did satoru know it was never enough, and most of the time it made the situation worse Geto needed to shine on his own, and stop being compared to Gojo at every turn. Geto had a lot of potential but couldn’t realise any of it because of his friendship. 

The revelation came one night to him , it was the night that changed everything. There was a party to celebrate yet another successful win for their high school. Around them people were dancing, drinking and celebrating their newest win . He was attached to the hip with Suguru as always both sitting on an old couch yet another houseparty Satoru thought. how wrong he was. Suguru went to the bathroom and rejected Satoru who wanted to tag along. While Satoru was sitting by himself, a girl he recognized as the captain of the cheer team came forward sitting at Suguru place.

Utahime…

To put it simply Utahime was similar to him in the way that she also had it all just. She was pretty, easily one of the prettiest girls in school, her long silky black hair tied up in a ponytail, as well her clear light skin, the whole school is all over her his teammates talking about how the red and white cheer uniform hugs her curves. Satoru wasn’t that interested, sure he knew Utahime was popular being the head of the cheer team, having beauty and grace above all coming from a well of family. Her upbringing as well as her social standing looks were very similar to himself but Satoru knew to stay away from her. 

Despite her many attributes Utahime was the devil incarnate.

She got off of humiliating her peers. She constantly flaunted her looks and money. Her only ‘genuine’ friend was Mei Mei which said enough about her. Satoru knew she had a frenemies situation going on with Shoko who was the only one who was decent to Suguru in this godforsaken high school. The quarterback wondered how they could have been best friends once, so satoru never associated with her.

“that place is-” satoru said but not before being interrupted. She silenced him with a finger on the lips Satoru recoiled.

 “Well now it's my place. It's rare to see you without the marching nerd,” she said, smiling , slurring the words.

“He has a name thank you very much and you're taking his place he is gonna come back-” he gets cut again who did she think she was.

“Oh chill out is he your boyfriend or something” she snickers “didn't know the quarterback was-”

“no no no no” satoru cuts him before she could say words “you got it..all wrong” the last thing Satoru wanted to do was to attract more attention to his best friend who was already struggling.

“you know your friend the n-”

“Suguru” Satoru corrected, “call him by his name.”

“Fine that Suguru, you like so much he isn’t half bad and I bet he would be happier if you weren’t always taking the spotlight” she says putting a hand against his chest slowly stroking up and down his pecs.

“What we are best friends there is no spotlight-”Satoru retorks what was she saying if anything Satoru is the one who basks in his natıral shine that makes him feel all jittery and warm inside as if bathed in the warm glow of the sun.

“Oh spare me the theatrics, there is always a spotlight especially if Satoru gojo the quarterback is in the game.” says Utahime unimpress.

“just tell me what do you want” satoru says a little too loudly.

she raises a brow “I hit a nerve it seems” she laughs stroking his adams apple by now slowly but surely going up. “I simply noticed your little friend was having trouble”  she points to Suguru awkwardly findling with his hands trying to make conversation “so I’m just saying that by leaving him alone and I don’t know how to fill the gap with..ME. you could actually help him and yourself”

“myself..” leaving suguru, that must have been a joke, satoru would rather cut off everyone else in his life suguru was only saving grace a gentle solace in his cold and lonely world he wouldn’t give that up not for anything or anyone, certainly not Utahime.

“isn’t the natural order of things” she points to herself and him sultrily touching his lips the latter would slap her hand away but there was too many people watching them and she definitely knew that judging by the look in her eyes, it's not everyday you saw satoru mingling with girls.

Satoru looks at himself than at Suguru awkwardly talking with random people and at Utahime “suguru is my best friend, I would never abandon him”

She looked taken aback by the lack of enthusiasm she definitely wasn’t used to rejection “It's not abandoning its giving him the chance to shine”

“What do you mean shine, he..suguru..shines enough he is kind and talented and” he cuts himself coughing a bit “what I mean is that he knows himself well and he doesn't need me to cut him off for him to realize his worth.” satoru says confidence faltering as he continues talking

“Is that so ?” She tilts her head. “You might want to check for yourself your friend seems awfully troubled” she says in a mocking voice that makes satoru’s blood boil as she points to suguru once again “safe to say social interaction are not his forte but being your friend only puts more pressure on him forcing him to be someone he isn’t” she looks at satoru getting closer to him whispering in his ear “why don’t you try being a good friend for once”

Satoru shiver looking at Utahime, did she have a point? did suguru really suffer because of their friendship that satoru relished in. their intimate friendship, their routine being neighbors since kindergarteners having their late night conversations ,window to window, those were special moments for the young man. But did suguru feel the same? Had satoru even thought of that before? Nor had he selfishly ignored his best friend's feelings. Was the pierced boy too intimidated to tell him the truth? satoru knew suguru struggled socially but that was part of his charm only making satoru more fond of him nothing could make suguru seem bad in his eyes. What if Suguru suffered because of the excess attention he caused given his friendship with him? How did satoru not notice that before.

“If your answer is what I expect then you'll come to pick me up tomorrow morning as well as many morning after that” she snickers and  as suguru comes she get’s up and leaves.

“Who was that?” asks suguru fiddling with his hair.

“nobody…”satoru says.

That night after they talked with their whiteboards. After their nightly routine he looked at the ceiling all night trying to make a decision. He taught about all the moments he hung out with his teammate and how suguru clung to him , avoiding social interaction most of the time. how he seemed uncomfortable, how he preferred to eat lunch with just the two of them but couldn’t because people were usually sticking to satoru like glue. When had this become this bad satoru had no idea. 

He did what any good best friend should do, he did what he should've done from the start, before it got this bad. He stopped being selfish.

Satoru let go of his best friend. And went to pick up Utahime.

İt was hard. He'd rather rip his own heart than ignore his best friend seeing him sad and broke his heart. He did what he needed to do so he couldn't continue being selfish. He was going to be the best friend he could be.

His relationship with Utahime was everything but sunshine and rainbows. Satoru quickly learned that the cheerleader couldn't care less about him, his feelings and their relationship was superficial but Satoru still did his best to be a somewhat good boyfriend, whether it was late night phone calls or public display of affection, oh she loved that. For everybody to see they were dating all eyes on them. Satoru went along with it after all he had lost his one and only it couldn’t get worse could it?

Well it did.

the situation only worsened. ‘Did I make the wrong call?’ he asked himself  but it was too late what's done, now Geto hated him there was no going back. 

He saw Geto being mocked by his own teammates, he glared at them and also told them to stop that but to no avail. 

The last straw was when he saw the slur written on geto’s locker, the look of anger and sadness on suguru’s eyes, that made him realise, he had indeed made the wrong decision, he had to make things right and he started by cleaning the locker.

Present 

Gojo decided to make things right starting by putting an end to suguru walking to school. The quarterback knew that the reason the latter didn't have his license was because he trusted satoru. Satoru waits for Suguru for the first time since their fall out. As Suguru gets out of the house he does the same, taking a seat in the baby blue beetle convertible. 

He saw geto come out his jaw drop and his hair wasn’t up, dark strands falling over his shoulder. Satoru was broad but still overall on the leaner side but Geto was broad . Satoru had to keep his mouth from watering. The sweater he was wearing was large but not so large that you couldn't make out his shape. Followed by his usual harem pants and combat boots. Satoru gulped as opened the door. 

“come! hope on” satoru says enthousiasme 

“1 got used to walking thanks to you,” suguru says, looking surprised.

“Hey don’t be like that, we're friends aren't we?” he says tentatively.

“are we?” suguru says, clutching his leather messenger bag.

“the bestest friend!” satoru grins patting the passenger seat “beside you don’t have your license so I must bring you to school and are you going to carry that huge trombone all the way there”

“whatever” suguru says,yet he moves to sit next to the blue eyed man “what about your girlfriend aren't you picking her off”

Satoru freezes “I'll see her at school”he manages to answer as he tries to appear totally alright.

“right” suguru answer. 

“What?  Are you jealous? "Satoru grins in an attempt to lighten the mood. He can’t stop himself from eyeing suguru god…why was he so hot so early in the mornşng and his morning voice definitely  didn't help. 

“In your dreams” suguru retorks.

As they drive the awkwardness clings to the air even though it's a convertible and Satoru did not cover the top, the pair feels the wintery weather, Satoru still feels like he is drowning by the sheer atmosphere. Satoru wanted to say something that would change their current situation. He wanted to apologize to Suguru, kiss him and ask him on a date to make things right like he should've done in the beginning.

“Suguru…”he says in a voice almost whispering.

suguru looks at his violet eyes feigning indifference “yeah…”

“Do you hate me?” he doesn't dare look away from the road. What sort of dumb question did he just ask of course Suguru hated him? He had ignored his best friend for the past few months. He had let his one and only down, he didn't have the right to call him that anymore but satoru was selfish. The long haired man doesn't answer directly, they arrive at the gates as satoru parks and suguru’s shoulder drops.

“I could never hate you” suguru says it has no edge to it and it breaks satoru’s heart.

Without further words suguru throws his messenger bag to his shoulder and his trombone case over his other shoulder opening the car’s door as he starts to walk away.

“wait..” satoru says without thinking he doesn't want suguru to leave, he wants to make things right. how could geto not hate him? how? he ignored and treated him like he didn't matter. He had to find a way to reach geto to go back to their status quo. Was that even possible?

Suguru looks back to the man inside the car “Satoru I can't hate you that's the truth but I can’t pretend nothing  happen so stop this nonsense and leave me alone” he leaves he didn't try to argue further Satoru observed as the black haired man disappeared in the crowd of people. 

Satoru followed suguru with his eyes until the other man couldn't be seen. His eyes are wide with shock. He expected to shout a slap across the face. He was going to apologize beg and and…But Suguru just told him that he didn't hate satoru. Moreover he seemed so sad, so defeated and it was all Satoru’s fault. So he could just watch from afar as they strayed more and more from each other. 

No-he couldn't, could he? he failed yes but he couldn’t let it fade away like this no matter what. 

“Satoru!” Utahime screams, raging , stomping over to the car.

He turns his head.

“You didn’t come,”she says, pointing a finger at him.

He sees getting out of the car “don’t make a big deal out of it, it's fine, İ just woke up late.”

“Yeah right ! I might be a lot of things but I’m not an idiot what about our deal satoru” she says crossing her arms,“don’t tell me you forgot about it, do you “want your best friend to-”

“Don’t talk about Suguru” Satoru says, cutting Utahime’s sentence, getting closer, towering over her.

“I dont give a damn about that…that-” she dosen’t finish the sentence “I dont give a fuck I only care about and your promise to me and OUR relationship.”

“You don’t need to worry, not about that” Satoru’s shoulder sag, “I just I can’t continue to ignore Suguru he is my best friend” satoru says letting out a breath he didn't realise he was holding in.

“So you are going back to your selfish ways,” she retorts, annoyed.

Satoru doesn't say anything, instead putting an arm around Utahime going back to their status quo. That was an answer in and of itself. Satoru didn't let go of Utahime, I’m not going back to my selfish ways. 

They walk in silence entering the school building. There is a game after school the quarterback thought, and Suguru would be there, their fall out had been after the last game he had won, satoru could only hope it went up from here.

Utahime stretches under satoru’s arm “can’t wait for the game tonight”she looks over at satoru “I'll cheer extra hard for you so you better win” 

Satoru smiles, a cocky grin “when have I ever lost” his smile didn't reach his eyes it never did, not since he stopped seeing Suguru.

Chapter Text

Satoru was acting weird, definitely positively weird. After ignoring Suguru for the entirety of summer and fall now comes winter, and they are friends again on a random Tuesday. Suguru was shocked to see the blue beetle on his driveway. But it didn't stop there, the man was even more flabbergasted when he saw Satoru gingerly sitting in the car, seemingly waiting for Suguru to do the same. 

What was going on? 

Was this a stupid bet or something? 

Was Satoru testing him?

Was he dreaming?

After pinching himself realises that this is indeed real. He then proceeds to get in the passenger seat of the convertible.

“The bestest of friends” Satoru had answered Suguru’s “Are we friends” question. He just stared at the driving man. At a red light, Satoru pushed Suguru’s bangs out of his face. He always loved to play with Suguru’s long hair and he found it relatively relaxing. 

The long-haired man didn't know what to say but he knew one thing he didn’t want yet another heartbreak, anything but that. So he did what he could to protect himself, after Satoru started giving him the cold shoulder he stopped coming to school until his mom forced him to go.

He felt like he had lost his will to live, his will to continue and it seemed so dumb how could he feel so numb and empty just because..just because... Satoru was no longer here. Their late-night conversation is now a distant dream. Now Satoru’s laughter is so carefree, so nice to hear, a gentle sound too far away to hear. Had they breached the unbreachable? Was Satoru even genuine in all those years of friendship? Could they be like they once were? 

Suguru shakes his head leaving Satoru's car as he parks it. He turns his head to get one last look at the boy, to no one's surprise he was there with her . Suguru only knew the head cheerleader by name, they hadn't talked even when he was friends with Satoru. He knew that Shoko and her used to be friends. The whole school knew about their old friendship. Nevertheless, Shoko didn't seem to care a whole lot about the cheerleader so Suguru never asked. The pierced man looks over at the quarterback who was putting a hand over the cheerleader's shoulder both walking to the front gate. 

There was a game after school, Suguru knew, but that didn't make the thought of marching any better. It was hard for him to go and play.

He thought of a simpler time, such as the last football game. When Satoru would look over at the trombonist at every goal he scored. He would wink, look over, and flash a cheeky grin, mouthing the words I did it with a thumbs up, or sending a kiss over to Suguru.

He definitely wasn’t ready for the continuation of their new status quo during the game. Would the quarterback even spar a glance at him? Honestly, Suguru didn't want to watch Satoru from the bleachers. Back when they were friends he already seemed unreachable marking goal after goal, then being praised by the whole school even going as far as his team hoiting him up their shoulders taking him alone on a ‘victory ride while running laps chanting a victory hymn or something. Yet Satoru always looked at Suguru. The quarterback always went above and beyond to make Suguru feel included, he would glance and stare and Suguru loved that, no scratch that -loved-. He can’t be too sure about what to expect. Suguru, was at first thrilled, to say the least, if this morning was proof that Satoru could be like he once was, that would be enough for him well he thought that until he saw her looking over at them mingling.

He wanted to puke.

The pierced man knew for a fact they were dating, it's all their school ever talked about, how could he not know? He was pissed he had thought they had many things in common, they were best friends thus Satoru was Suguru’s ideal type, it was much more than his looks or his status it was a matter of personality. He was sweet like the candies the quarterback loved to eat, fluffy like his hair the air surrounding the man was suguru’s favorite place to be. Naturally, he had thought that it was the same for the other man. 

What a joke.

Now he realizes that wasn’t the case, Suguru, unfortunately, wasn’t the kind of person that he was searching for. Suguru should have known that the quarterback wasn’t boyfriend material. Satoru was anyone but that, they never talked about each other's sexuality, yet it was painfully obvious that Satoru's ideal partner wasn’t Suguru in more ways than one. Even though he knew that he wouldn't be the one he had at least thought that his best friend wouldn't choose a brain-dead cheerleader who got off on making other people's life miserable. That proved that he didn't really know his best friend after all.

The day passes by in a flash. The pierced man didn't pay attention in any class, as the last bell rings Suguru dreads what's coming next. He hears the cheer starting and people preparing for the game Suguru regrets every decision that led him to join the marching band. So what if the school didn't have a music club? Why did he have to join this one, satoru he knew the answer all too well although he hated admitting it. 

As he enters the practice room he sees other people from the cheer team. Although he didn't have many friends besides Shoko that didn't mean he was mean or disagreeable, He was cordial most of the time. Yu was an acquaintance; he was way too happy for his own good. He was the first openly queer person in their high school. Not only was he dating a dude but he was dating a guy on the football team. Suguru knew of Yuu's boyfriend courtesy of being friends with the quarterback. 

Though weirdly Nanami was nothing like the other it was like he got roped into the wrong club. He was athletic and if not for Satoru stealing the spotlight he would get the same amount of attention though Suguru figured the latter didn't like the attention to begin with. 

Yuu and Nanami were a funny couple Suguru couldn't help but crack a smile every time he saw them together. The football player had a side-swept fringe and kept a pretty edgy style similar to Geto’s. Nanami constantly frowned or scowled though Suguru shared the same taste in music and as for Yuu well was the opposite, the tromboniste had never seen the other frown constantly seemingly beaming with energy.

Yuu beamed as Suguru entered 

“you came!” he says with great enthusiasm

“There is a game that isn't there” answers Suguru. 

“you know that's not what ı meant you haven't been coming to practice for a while now, we all thought you weren’t coming for the performance either, you also ignored the mail sent by the teacher”

Suguru sight he didn't even know if he would perform if Satoru had not come to pick him up in the first place opening a door to rekindle their friendship.” I was busy” a lie, all the time he could have spent at practice he spent it rotting in his bed probably wallowing and again he would have done just that today if not for Satoru.

“well in any case we're happy to see you're back, you carry this band practically all on your own,” yuu says “and we don’t have another trombonist” he adds as true as it was suguru couldn't be as excited as him granted being as jitty as yuu was a hard task for anyone.

“Sorry for the trouble,” suguru says feeling a little bit guilty he never thought that not coming to practice would be a big deal.

“no trouble” Yuu said taking his own instrument a bass drum “just so you know” yuu grins “you’re on triangle duty”

Suguru smiles a bit “sure sure” he could play two instruments at the same time, especially one as easy as a triangle. He could play pretty much any instrument but trompet was forced upon him by the band. As there wasn’t anyone who was familiar with the instrument. Trust him suguru would rather play drums or any kind of string instrument but he didn't have a choice. He was the only one who had an easier time with the instruments.

He was still dreading the game that was scheduled. Sure satoru had been nice and, sure it might have been the happiest suguru felt in a month and he could still feel the butterflies in his stomach but he wasn’t about to admit that to anyone.

The game starts like any other people pushing each other to get on the bleachers and get a ‘nice place’.Suguru thanked good that the marching band had a designated place which had a pretty nice view of the field if he had to admit it. He takes his seat at the front, which he doesn't appreciate but as the one who leads the band practically on his own he has to. 

He stands up putting the instrument in his mouth and he sees Satoru entering the field. His confidence skyrocketed as it always does during these games. The enemy team comes in as well, everybody chanting Satoru’s name like a mantra. 

Suguru is for once in his life glad he is playing an instrument that keeps him from talking he can just try and ignore the incessant chanting. He can close his eyes and pretend he is in the practice room, not out in the field where they could totally see eye to eye. 

Suguru quickly understands that ignoring the quarterback’s existence is nearly impossible. where everybody is chanting his name and he is running laps hands in the air smiling a cheeky grin plastered on his cocky overconfident face. No matter how hard he tries to ignore it's a losing game. 

The game starts and Suguru starts playing, trying not to look at Satoru, he steals a few glances but not more. Usually, he would try to do funny faces at Satoru to stop his winning streak (safe to say it never worked)  and the latter would wink and flash a victory sign.

As he blows into the trumpet, he looks on the field and sees the white-haired footballer flash a victory sign after a goal but his eyes don’t reach suguru. As he looks at who Satoru is signing to he freezes almost stopping the music. 

Utahime…

Suguru felt nauseous, satoru always flashed him a victory sign. Why did he even bother coming? What was he expecting? In any case, this morning might have been a fluke. 

Maybe satoru pitied him for walking or taking the bus every morning. As he glanced at the field again he couldn’t help but notice again for the upteenth time that satoru’s smile was downright sad. Usually, when they were still best friends satoru’s smile was as bright as the sun, his plush lİps opening up letting his white teeth shine through, his blue eyes creasing under the pressure of his smiles, and if it's a big one he would have a few happy tears falling. 

Suguru relished those moments, compared to that the laugh he had now was a well-done fake laugh at best. Suguru knew Satoru more than anyone else and he knew that whatever was going on now was ridiculous.

Utahime cheered everytime Satoru scored a goal. İn the corner of his eye, he could see Shoko. 

That was unusual, he thought she would never come to a game normally. They had talked about it before he had told her that if it wasn't for the godforsaken marching he would never step foot on a field or on the bleachers. Shoko had laughed and told him that she hated the field, the people, the bleachers, the smell and the noise and Suguru agreed.

So what was she doing here? Sitting right on the field behind the cheer team smoking, totally ignoring the teachers, not the first time she would be suspended for smoking on school grounds. There were a lot of things that Suguru ignored about her. She was a secretive person as was Suguru. Sure she knew he and Satoru used to be buddies but well she didn't have to know his attraction to the quarterback 

especially not when half the girls in school are chasing after him already.

After a painstakingly long game Suguru takes a breather. At last putting his instrument away for the night. 

“It was good one” said yuu taping suguru on the shoulder 

“yeah you guys made less mistakes than usual” he says aiming to be a little funny but seeing his bandmates reactions it was the wrong move.

Yuu laughs and Suguru thanks god that he is there to lighten the mood. As he turns to thank Yuu he sees him running towards the field towards…he squints as he sees the familiar tall but not as tall as him nanami his signature bang covering his face. He has a gentle smile on his face that's rare, and this gentle smile is clearly reserved to yuu who is explaining something with the utmost enthousiasme and they leave the field hand in hand.

Suguru doesn't feel jealous, no he doesn't…

As he gets down the stairs to the field to leave, he hears his name being called out and he turns he would recognize that voice anywhere.

Satoru is running towards him. His hair is a mess and his football gear is dirty and muddy, god suguru hates how despite his ragged appearance the latter is still so hot.

“suguru..”the quarterback says, breathless from running.”I said wait” he screams suguru obliges.

“what’s up” he says like he didn't just spend the last 2 hours eyeing up the quarterback from the bleachers.

satoru looks up meeting his eyes “there is a party…to celebrate my newest win”

Of course there is suguru shouldn’t be surprised, it's always the same thing “and?”

Satoru rolls his eyes the audacity “and obviously you’re coming, İ’m inviting you dumbass”

“So I'm the dumbass now. How am I supposed to deduce that you want me there when you’ve been ignoring me for the past year?” suguru says devoid of any emotion why is this even happening to him.

“Look I know I fucked up okay let me make it right, come on” he pleads.

“The last time I came to one of those stupid parties you stopped talking to me the next day, is this supposed to be one of your friend’s ‘bad jokes’ or something can’t you just leave me alone didn't you make me suffer enough already.” suguru says getting more and more frustrated with every word uttered.

Satoru sights “I swear I won’t do anything stupid like that I’ll stay by your side and well leave when you say the word and i'll drive us home” satoru smiles “like I always did”

No no no no again suguru stay in line you can’t make a fool out of yourself again. Stand your guard and tell him no, you can’t be heartbroken again, what if this is just a cruel joke? What if satoru is using your attachment to him against you? Are you going to forgive and forget after months of self 

doubt and blame are you going to let him back into your life? 

from the moment the question was uttered it was already too late, it was all too much like a blur, a dream…

Suguru did his best to listen to his inner voice, but that was getting muted by satoru very existence who was he kidding. He could never refuse satoru not now not ever he looked up at those ocean blue eyes and nodded.

Satoru eyes widened a gentle smile playing on his lips “you won’t regret it suguru I promise”

Suguru nods again, he was fucked.

His fellow teammates call out to Gojo, he waves at them then looks back at suguru “I still have a few things to do, mainly change out of these dirty clothes and take a shower. We could go home together if you want to get ready for tonight's party together like old times..”

The pierced man looks up. He had half a mind to agree to dream of going back to a simpler time. He couldn't let himself do that. İn one than more ways Suguru was always his own worst enemy. He had already said yes, what more did Satoru want? “I’m heading out first…see you” he says, turning to leave.

Satoru reaches out to Suguru only to stop halfway “Alright I won't pressure you I’ll come by at 8 and we can be together.

Suguru nods and leaves.

On the way home Suguru couldn’t help but feel so dumb he looked at his phone. It was 6 pm and he still had a bit of time. The wind was strong and icy. It would snow soon but Suguru couldn’t care less, he walked. He had two hours, he thought about what he could do in those two hours. He could wallow in his misery. As he enters his room he sees his bed still unmade, he could go in and try to get some sleep maybe it all would seem meaningless hopefully. 

Why did he even say yes? Everybody would be there, the footballers who made his life hell, the annoying people that he muted in his mind, the cheerleaders…one particular cheerleader he dreaded to see.. Utahime.

He was so confused about everything. One day satoru nice and caring to his best friend, the next he ignored him and showed him that he had moved on from their friendship.

Now what? Was Suguru supposed to forgive Satoru? He was getting tired, so he looked up. 

Then suddenly he snapped.

What was he doing? Why was he wallowing? he had had enough of staying on the sidelines he 

opened the drawer, and took out the all too familiar paper.

-I love you-

Enough sulking, he was going, to be honest with himself and his feelings. He gets up and starts searching for clothes to wear. He was going to look his best, he was going to prove to himself and all the others that Suguru Geto will not go down without a fight.

As the time approaches 8 pm, he puts in his gauges and adds finishing touches to his face and hair. 

They simultaneously get out of their house.

Chapter Text

Satoru gets out of school after taking a much deserved shower, he was covered in grime and dirt from pushing and being pushed back. He wishes he looked more presentable when he asked Geto out. Was it asking out? He enters his house but not before glancing at Suguru's. 

He asked him to come to the party with him as a way to rekindle their friendship. Was this the right call? He didn't know exactly, he only knew one fact and that was that he needed to get himself together and get forgiven somehow.  As he gets ready he tries to get his unruly hair to behave but to no avail, his hair has a mind of his own he wears a casual white t-shirt and a loose fitted jean with his varsity jacket. He spares one last glance at the mirror putting his trusty lip balm. Hopefully he looks sexy enough, he finishes off by putting on his shades and sneakers.

He opens his front door and he feels the night breeze, which is doing very little to soothe his worries. Did he dress up too lightly, he looks at himself again to check everything. The loose fitted jeans makes his back side more visible if he ‘accidently’ happened to bend down to pick up something a certain someone could see the edge of his underwear. Of course he wanted to seem effortless so the white shirt was a must and the party being in his honour for winning once again the varsity jacket was a no brainer. He runs a hand through his hair, taking out his car keys ready to impress Getou, but in the corner of his eyes he sees the latter also getting out and he turns his head to see.

Satoru is a dead man.

There stood all the glorious 6 foot of Suguru. The quarterback has to do a double take to be sure this was real. He turns to suguru and gulps this definitely doesn't sooth his worries. He thinks that if he dies that moment he would die happy. 

Suguru is wearing his trusty doc martens boots that he had for forever, skinny ripped jeans that leaves little for the imagination. His shirt was a black off the shoulder long sleeved shirt,  the shirt shows his collarbones, it isn't purposely off the shoulder just stretched enough to hang loose around Suguru’s frame. He wears a collar that matches his piercings, when satoru looks to his face he can see suguru’s angel bites, eyebrow piercings and nose piercings all glistening silver, only to be outshined by Suguru’s makeup a simple black eyeliner accentuating his already beautiful violet eyes.

Satoru is a thirsty man in the desert and suguru is water.

They lock eyes and Satoru once again has to keep himself from drooling and it's most likely the hardest thing he ever had to do. 

He just keeps staring, not finding words to say. 

“Do I have something on my face?” says Suguru with a velvety sweet voice. Satoru gets closer to the pierced man. He can smell the engulfing scent of sandalwood with a lemony aftertaste smell and he sniffed a bit and…

“Did you wear perfume” satoru asks just now realising that this is the single first word he said to Suguru since the beginning this was embarrassing.

Suguru looks a bit taken aback that the first thing satoru decides to say is a comment on his smell  but doesn't comment on it he was always too nice “uh..yeah I sprayed on som-”

“lavender-” Satoru cuts then realises that he has been going on and on about his smell before he could overthink Suguru talks.

“That's creepy..” suguru says looking right at him.

Satoru looks him in the eye, he was creepy wasn’t he? Now that he thinks about it again the first thing he told the latter was that he smelled good, god he is irredeemable isn’t he. He could have told Suguru how good he looked or how the piercings made his face looks out of this world, or how his hair all down is a gift that came from above. But no he just had to tell him that he smells like lavender like a creep. As he looks up he sees those soft violet eyes looking at him and suguru gives him the softest gentlest smile satoru ever saw.

Suguru chuckles “Calm down I was only kidding” he says as he puts a hand to satoru’s shoulder his shoulder burns his handprint leaves the shape of his hand there burning and pricking the skin underneath his varsity jacket. 

Without a word Satoru opens the car’s door. He is too embarrassed to do anything else. He wishes he could do it all over again, why did he have to go ahead and say that? He is supposed to be the one to impress Getou, not the other way around. He is so embarrassed yet he isn’t going to give up, he can’t afford to do that. He is  going to turn the situation around and hopefully, make Sugru forget about this. 

He attempts being a gentleman as he opens the passenger door for Suguru making an extravagant gesture with his hand indicating Suguru to go in “hop in” he says trying to seem cool and collected, god knows it was hard.

Getou rolls his eyes unceremoniously “fine whatever” he gets into the car satoru closes his door and sits on the driver's seat, suguru glances at suguru expression becoming more serious. “you promised when I say we leave we leave no takes back or I’m getting out”

Leave, leave..no no no satoru can’t let this happen “promise no matter what I’m doing I'll drop it the moment you say you want out I'll drive you back home you can even drink I won’t”

“You know that's not going to happen, this party is in your honour, you are basically expected to get drunk, I don’t want to be responsible for the quarterback not drinking” he stops seemingly searching his words though Satoru was fixated on his plush lips. “Just have fun and if I have enough you’ll drive me back and then you can do whatever the hell you want” says suguru, partially annoyed.

Satoru looks up at his eyes Suguru would never say that in good conscience. Satoru realizes just how much he had hurt suguru how cruel he thought Satoru was. He really thinks that satoru would not talk to him during the party and would drop him as if Suguru didn’t mean anything to him just to go back to the party this time without him. That’s how much of an asshole suguru sees satoru as.

That shouldn't come as a surprise, not really, when he had stopped talking to him without explanation after what Utahime had told him. He wanted to stop being selfish but who was he kidding he just made things worse and he couldn’t blame Utahime for this. After all, he is the one who said yes, who agreed to leave their friendship and to begin a relationship with the cheer captain. He should have reached out, talked to his best friend like he always did. But how could he, when he saw Suguru's face drop every time his teammates would comment on something and how miserable he was when he was being forced to befriend them because of Satoru. While he is spiraling, thoughts swarming he quickly realises that his breathing is shallow and soon he couldn’t breath.oh.. this hadn’t happened in a while was he hyperventilating ? Was this how a panic attack felt? As he tries and fails to regain his composure once again he thinks back on how lame he is being the start of their night had been rough so far and it's not going better is it at this rate would suguru even want to be friends again with him.Satoru is getting more and more lost inside his head, than suddenly he feels a gentle touch on the side of his face gently stroking his cheek, and he could recognize this grounding touch anytime.

“Satoru” Suguru utters yet Satoru couldn't get a hold of himself ,he is in no condition to speak his throat is clogged, heart clenched as he tries again but Suguru cuts him “breath Satoru in and out”.One of Suguru's hands is stroking his cheek with his other hand. He takes Satoru's hand to put it on his chest for the latter to feel his breathing. Heartbeat? “follow my breathing” 

oh breathing it is.

Satoru looks up, eyes blown wide, he really had fucked up this is definitely the end. Suguru would no longer see him as a friend not after he embarrassed himself this way, not that he saw satoru as a friend anyways. Who is he kidding? It's too late, he made his bed and he should lie in it. He knows this, at least he should know this yet why does it hurt so much.

Suguru cups satoru’s cheeks “satoru” he says “everything is okay stop thinking so much I can hear the gear turning in your head, just calm down”

That makes satoru calm down mostly due to his best friend touching. His warm hands cupping his face too comfortingly too nice, without thinking he nuzzles to them. Satoru feels the stress leaving his body as he slightly slumps against Suguru. It isn't that comfortable as they are still in the car yet, within a few minutes his breathing evens out as he calms down. He feels the grounding warm hands that are none other than his bestfriends gentle touch.

Suguru looks up at satoru as gentle and as ethereal as he remembers him to be “satoru” he says sternly with a hint of concern in his eyes “we don't have to go” he says.

no no no that is the absolute worst case scenario the night had a rough start sure,  but it wasn't too late it couldn't. He can still turn the night around, in order to show off, and become friends again of course. Satoru hopes that it isn't too late. The good thing is that the party is being thrown in his honor so Suguru can see how cool he is, even though Suguru knows how childish he is and how lame Satoru can be.

 “you’re not going to get out of this easily” Gojo says trying to keep his voice from trembling as best as he can, a wide grin on his face as he starts the car and drives towards the party. It's not too far.

While he drives,no harm done thinks Satoru. If Suguru could see him in a good light during the party  then Satoru would be satisfied. Because he sure had seen the worst aspects of the quarterback especially when the latter is with Utahime. Then Satoru remembers something crucial, he feels dumb for not thinking about it earlier. Well  for his defence he was so busy trying to win back Suguru that he forgot what got him here in the first place.

 Utahime.

For all his good grades he sure is dense sometimes. In truth, Satoru doesn't even know why Utahime wants him. Sure, he is the most popular guy around but Utahime could literally get anyone she wants. She already has all of the credentials he does, why does she evem bother?

 Don’t get him wrong, Satoru tried to ask especially in their first week as a ‘couple’ yet all he got was ‘your popularity’ or ‘it's the natural order of things’. Satoru would believe her but he is not an idiot because he can see that Utahime has no interest in him or any other guy for that matter, any other girl would have want to be in the quarterback's pants. Nonetheless Utahime only seemed to cling to him in public spaces and they rarely met outside of school, the few times they did was with other people.

 It always leaves a sour taste in his mouth. It's not like he wants anything to do with Utahime, especially physically. Quite the opposite, one part of him thinks that the reason their ‘relationship’ is still going strong is because they are only together superficially; it's not that they are fake dating ,they just didn't talk about the more functional aspect of their relationship.

 As he looks at Suguru he knows he can’t waste time thinking about Utahime. He has to be there for Suguru to make up for lost time and make things right.

As he pulls up in front of the house where the party takes place, he can hear the music blasting, people dancing in the front yard, plastic cups in hand, and he looks at Suguru who is sighing and scrunching up his nose.

“Come on suguru don’t be a party pooper” he says jokingly while getting out of the car opening suguru’s door holding out a hand.

Okay, now it's game time get Suguru inside, show him how great you are, show him you care, and hopefully get him a little tipsy.

Suguru rolls his eyes but he takes Satoru’s hand. The quarterback tries to remain calm “you better not make me regret this” suguru grunts.

“you’re definitely going to love it,” Satoru says, smiling widely, guiding  Suguru away from the car into the house, while avoiding colliding with the already drunk and tipsy people.The pair gets inside  and Satoru is welcomed by cheers and claps. He can’t lie satoru loves this, he keeps his head high and thanks them, then as the crowd quiets down everybody goes back to what they were doing mostly dancing to the blaring music drinking some flirting even making out,  satoru gulps and looks at Suguru. Then he remembers that Suguru isn’t the biggest fan of the crowd as he looks at his friend just staring out not really doing anything, everything starts now he tells himself. He throws an arm around suguru as the pierced man sights.

“İ’ll get you a puch Sugarboo” he says 

Suguru shoves him aside not violently “the last thing I need is some mystery punch” then he grins a bit “and I wouldn’t act so confident if I was you, you’re the lightweight here”

“ouch you wound me sugarboo” Satoru says,  it wasn’t their first party it was no secret, Suguru didn't mind getting tipsy, and satoru was always the fastest one out of the two, but the pair never did mind. 

suguru rolls his eyes  unimpressed, again playing with his gauges. Satoru knows he does that when he is stressed, under pressure and none of that can happen tonight he’ll make sure of it, with a swift motion he fills 2 cups with the mystery punch , melly fruity sweet and acid satoru puts some acid jelly beans inside wearing a mischievous grin on his face.

“Here you go one mystery punch that probably taste too sweet for you but you’ll drink anyways because you love me too much”  says satoru “and I added sour jelly beans you like so much”

suguru sight but relents “thanks” 

They start drinking, Satoru thinks it's not going too bad. First thing first nobody came to bother them, sure it was still early, barely 9 yet but a win is a win. 

Second, there are those sour candies suguru likes so Suguru is satisfied and Satoru can just see him drinking his dark hair falling over his shoulders, like waterfalls cascading down his shoulder silky strands. It's rare for Suguru to have his hair down. Perhaps he is trying to impress someone ? Satoru hopes it's for him but knows better. As Suguru takes off his leather jacket he can see the stretched collar of his shirt. 

They sit on an old couch in a living room filled with people dancing.

“Come on,” says satoru, smiling widely, “Let's dance.” He starts to slur.

Suguru laughs its music to his ears “ are you drunk already” he says lifting a bow while smirking.

“I’m happily paying as you should” says satoru not before taking his hand and doing his best pleading eyes.” I miss drunk suguru” he grins “pleasee”

Suguru sight, Satoru’s shoulder slump as he thinks he lost this round, but then he feels suguru’s hand in his tightening and with one hand suguru downs the whole plastic cup which was nearly full as he didn't have as much as Satoru. And as if that wouldn’t have gotten him drunk, Suguru throws the punch of marinated sour candies in his mouth.

They come eye to eye and the game is on, satoru thinks as he takes a shit and then another he hates sour stuff but for Suguru he won’t care.

“hey hey slow down” says Suguru putting his free hand on his shoulder. And satoru realises how close they are. Suguru sitting on the couch one hand holding a sartorius hand tightly the other holding on to the quarterback's shoulder. While he is in front of the gorgeous man chugging shots. He definitely was in over his head. 

The words said by his best friend were unfortunately not registering in his head as he brought a third shot to his lips. He doesn't know he is doing this he wants to be fun he wants Suguru to have fun maybe it's easier to forgive himself while drunk, he had been overthinking he tried everything but one thing for sure letting go off Suguru, his best friend his one and only for whatever reason it may have been was a mistake a huge mistake.

 He can feel the buzzing in his brain, a palpable nice fuzz he can hear the music fogged out in his brain no longer blaring so loud , his thought more quiet now, he can feel people dancing around his palm sweating in Suguru’s hold his shoulders slumping by the gentle touch of his best friend.

 As Satoru is lost in his own head he can hear Suguru’s voice he saying something satoru has to will himself to listen to this gentle voice velvety not too sweet that it sours his mouth like Utahime not harsh and strict like his teachers or an authority figure, just the perfect octave and sweetness as he thinks about Suguru’s tone he can hear his name in that same voice.

ah the reason he was thinking about his voice was because he was hearing it. what is he saying again ? he was supposed to be willing to listen right?..listen  he thinks or maybe says out loud..listen?to what again ? He looks at the shot glass. It's empty. Did he drink it?

he thinks he can hear his name, in that same velvety voice is suguru calling to him ? calling satoru ?he hopes he is. he could listen to suguru all day only this isn't really listening he is more to listen to his voice more than the actual words coming out of his mouth.

“...oru…sat” Satoru is hearing a muffled sound.

Then he hears heels smacking on the floor and he turns his head still feeling Suguru's hand on the small of his back. 

The stomping of the heels comes to a halt.

“there you are” oh fuck satoru recognizes the voice he had totally forgotten it was kinda the reason why he wanted to get drunk in the first place.

he turns his head towards the cheerleader she has her uniform on probably making many men swoon but honestly he couldn’t care less.

“Everyone’s waiting for you to start playing spin the bottle” she says

“He isn’t feeling that well he drank too much” utters the velvety voice.

“who asked you” she retorts pointing at him 

Satoru sees Suguru scowling ah right he hated being talked down to, who even liked that Suguru’s own pride wasn’t below satoru’s. The latter still had his hand on his back, pretty sure the only reason he isn’t falling over.

Satoru is slowly but surely coming back to his senses albeit still very much tipsy he straightens up leaning over suguru glances as Utahime. “sure we'll be right there”

utahime has to do a double take. 

The quarterbacks gives her a shit eating grin lowering himself to her level as he points to suguru and himself “yes, we”

She turns and leaves.

Satoru hopes he won’t fuck this up.

Chapter Text

Suguru honestly doesn't know what the hell he is doing here. First he had the not so bright idea to dress to impress. In his defense he just wants to look good and smell good in front of satoru. What's wrong?  In hindsight there were so  many things wrong with wanting to look his best not because he was going to a party but because he was going to a party with satoru. As soon as he had he enters the house party, he notices that  satoru’s looking at him funny first he thinks he did it respect the dress code or something but he would rather die then dress like the people here’ but maybe just  maybe the overly skinny and ripped jeans paired with the open collared shirt and choker was too much and he also put on his favorite silver piercings he usually wore transparent ones to school as the school wasn’t too happy with his personal  choice of style, so he usually went with the least visible one but now he can show off and he will. Well that is before his best friend (if he could still call him that - probably not) just had a panic attack just after suguru had jokingly said he was being creepy. That is weird, satoru is always confident so naturally suguru thought he would just talkback with a sassy remark like he always did, and not have a full blown panic attack.

 What is even going on ?As they arrive at the house party suguru sees everybody either drinking’ already drunk or making out he feels sick.

The note is burning in his pocket. He can feel it, it weighs a ton. He agreed to come, to give him this note and be done with it. Satoru is going to reject him and not talk to him anymore, that seemed bad 6 months ago thats why suguru couldn't even dream of a world where he would confess to his best friend but now that suguru lived without his best friend and even thought its still scares him more than ever he knows he has to do it. He lived with the weight of this stupid peace of paper long enough.

They get inside and of course Satoru is greeted as the great person he is, everybody chanting his name high fiving him. He rolls his eyes at least 10 different times. 

Right after the over the top greeting just as his social battery is coming to an end suguru sits on the old sofa and as always satoru begs for alcohol honestly suguru cant bother with anything right now but of course nobody says no to satoru not even him. And so drink they did as usual satoru got tipsy sooner rather then later, as he started slurring is words. But what could suguru do other than revels at Satoru's Beauty it was almost ethereal the way he swayed on the dance floor’ his blue eyes sparkling illuminating the whole room and as he almost lost himself in satoru he looked down. 

Why was he getting lost now, he came here to get over him not get lost in his dreamy eyes. Fuck this definitely wasn’t going according to plan. He was supposed to give him the piece of paper, get rejected and leave and probably never talk to satoru ever again. He should have known nothing goes according to plan when satoru is involved. As he got lost in thought Satoru started to drag him upstairs.

He should probably stop satoru he was definitely drunk by now and up to no good .nevertheless right know sugru couldn't care less, the only thing he could think of was the sensation of satoru’s hand holding his. the quarterback had long abandoned his varsity jacket and stayed with his white shirt that was just the right type of fabric so could see through it and the jeans he wore were painstakingly low rise so his boxer underneath were seen. 

What did he get himself into?

As they finish getting up the stairs still hand in hand. They come in front of a door why were they even- and before suguru could question satoru, utahime opens the door to reveal a group of people that suguru recognizes as the rest of the football team and the cheer team he rolls his eyes.  he looks over to satoru who seems more sober than he was earlier. 

“At last the best of honour bothered to show up” says utahime pointing at satoru her voice was different not accusatory not cold weirdly friendly was that how she talked to people she didn't hate. In any case he couldn’t dwell on this for long. He couldn’t stay in this room any longer; he would rather die than talk to half of  these people in school. Why would he go out of his way to see them not in school.

suguru sights as he turned to satoru as he was getting greeted by cheers and applause and this was the last straw for suguru “seriously satoru this isn’t..I don’t want-” he says but gets interrupted by satoru as he  looks at him with a pout. hands still intertwined with each other, suguru looks at the ceiling god save him how can he say no to those eyes.”suguboo!” satoru says putting his forehead against his “please” he whispers breath hot against his face despite the gigantic amount of alcohol the quarterback just consumed. His breath smelled like fresh cotton candy or strawberry? suguru could just kiss him right then and there.

Suguru hated just about everything about this situation and he would rather jump of a skyscraper than hang out with these wannabe. He sights what could he do, satoru and his big puppy eyes were his kryptonite and the quarterback must know it from how often he uses his charms to get his way with suguru.“fine fine but he leave when I say the word” says suguru trying to not  look in satoru’s eyes,  his eyes are so utterly blue that its an insult to the seas, oceans or the sky itself his eyes are so full of life suguru wants to drown in them in them, wants get choked get suffocated by the sheer shade of blue. 

satoru gives him a wide toothy grin when suguru agrees,  getting behind the pierced man gently but surely pushing him inside knowing that suguru is too proud to walk by himself.

Suguru gulps he can feel his best friend's hands on his back. Then he looks inside the room some people looking at satoru others at him but everybody including the head cheerleader looked at them with a confused expression and that made everything worse for suguru. he feels nauseous out of place he wants to leave but he already said yes.

They come in front of the door. It's probably the bedroom of the guy throwing this party, painfully obvious with a football jersey plastered on the wall as well as pictures of naked women. The room is filled with people, Suguru recognizes a few cheerleaders, and satoru’s teammates namely nanami who is on his phone and rolling his eyes as he sees gojo’s boisterous entrance. 

“Ladies and gentleman, here we come” Satoru says, getting in front of Geto and bowing an arrogant grin on his face. Satoru sits down and beckons suguru to sit next to him, Suguru raises a brow and points to utahime who is seemingly always sporting a scowl whenever suguru is involved. Satoru looks over at the annoyed cheerleader and then at suguru and just grins, and again beckons him closer.

“Come on don’t be a pussy” he says, his words ever so slightly slurring.

Suguru rolls his eyes yet sits next to the quarterback, he is in the middle of nanami and satoru who are arguing like always. He shakes his head, he can’t believe he is in love with someone who talks like a fourth grader. Right when he was about to tell Satoru that much nanami turns to him.

“Honnestly I don't know how you deal with that blabbermouth especially when he is drunk” says Nanami pointing at Satoru.

“nanaminn thats rude” screams gojo from sugru side clutching to his arms like a maiden in need of saving.

“How many times do I have to keep reminding you to stop calling me that” says nanami.

suguru laugh “I thought I was the only one who had to deal with annoying nickname but here you are”

that makes nanami smile despite his anger, suguru looks around and nobody is starting the game and as if on cue utahime points that out.

“what are we waiting for satoru is here let’s start the game”

Nanami scowls, “ I told you, we are waiting for yuu to come back from the bathroom” says nanami matter of factly.

Utahime groans in annoyance yet she doesn't say anything out of line or even rude was surguru the only guy she hated?

Everybody sat in a circle’ and it was a really awkward atmosphere. The pierced man had a hunch it was because of him. After all he was the anomaly , sure he came to these parties or at least used to but being friends with these people having an actual conversation and not just small talk, well that was simply impossible. Satoru was just gloating about his latest victory to the people in the room like he didn't have a panic attack because suguru called him a “creep” an hour ago. 

Unbelievable suguru thinks and as he was ready to put his pride aside and demand they leave the door opens, and a happy yu appears.

“sorry to keep you guys waiting, there was a line” he says  settling next to nanami who stops frowning for once. His eyes widen as he sees to suguru sitting,”I can’t believe you came” yuu says smiling so widely suguru wonders if his jaw ever hurts from smiling so much. suguru turns to yuu he is embarrassed he wasn’t ready to be seen by his fellow bandmate at a houseparty of all places. 

 “You can thank this asshole, he basically forced me to come” he says pointing at satoru.

As yuu attempted to retork utahime clapped her hands and everybody looked at her. She smiles, and suguru thinks it looks uncanny on her face.

“Now that everybody’s here, why don’t we start?” she says, hugging Satoru from the side. Satoru looks to his left,coming face to face with the cheerleader. Suguru can’t quite see the face he is making but imagines that perhaps he is looking at her lovingly perhaps they are having a moment which suguru is not a part of.  And just like that the game starts.

Chapter Text

Satoru regretted getting drunk this early on but what’s done is done. And so he was in the bedroom of his teammates room smelling awfully like cheap deodorant but none of it mattered now suguru was here albeit not willingly but didn’t matter, now he had geto where he needed him all that’s left is for Geto to see how Satoru was willing to make things right between them, and god he wanted to be better for suguru. He just hoped it wasn’t too late it was still possible to mend what he ripped.

The game starts without any issue as Utahime places an empty bottle of beer in the middle of the circle. On Satoru’s left sat Utahime on his right suguru and next to suguru was yuu and nanami.

“I’m pretty sure everybody is familiar with this concept, even the socially inept ones” utahime says as she looks at suguru.

Suguru doesn’t dignify her insult with an answer, he just rolls his eyes. When he thought this was all over yuu interjects “Come on Utahime that’s not nice after suguru came back after skipping these parties for the last few months”

Utahime frowns “He could’ve come anytime he wanted too not my fault he’d rather stay inside and be a neet”

Satoru isn’t one for stern confrontation especially one in public yet he had to step in or he could never prove to suguru how much he cared. “Utahime enough," he said in a casual tone. "Let's just start the game, okay ?”

Thus the game started Utahime does the honors and spins the bottle. First Utahime and another cheerleader got the 2 ends of the bottle and as per the rule they kissed as everybody cheered. 

The head of the cheerleader turns to Gojo and winks “you’re still the first in my heart” she says as she sits back down

The bottle spins a few others and people kiss away yet satoru couldn’t really enjoy the moment everybody was drinking laughing and kissing. It was supposed to be fun. Usually he would be too drunk to overthink. Coming to these parties without Suguru was honestly a huge pain in the ass so he would get piss drunk every time and just forget the hole that suguru left. Then the bottle points to yuu and suguru.

Everybody looks at them and starts cheering, and out of all people Suguru could kiss Yuu was the best option for satoru but still he wasn’t all that thrilled.

Nanami looked at Yuu a soft smile playing on his lips curse Nanami and his healthy relationship way to make satoru look bad. “I trust you, but you already know that, so do what you’re comfortable doing” 

Yuu smiled back “As much as I like you very much as a friend suguru I’m afraid the only one I will kiss tonight is my boyfriend” 

Suguru laughs “yeah I figured don’t worry I get it” 

Safe to say everybody in the room starts booing when satoru was about interview to spin the bottle again to shut everyone up, yuu stops and winks at Satoru.

“I can’t kiss anyone but suguru here is single so I say we just switch partners instead of kissing the one on his left me he can kiss the one on his right Satoru!”

“Wait wait yuu lets not get hasty we can just spin it again I mean satoru was just about to right?” Suguru says in a panicked tone.

Satoru feels his throat dry up. He can't believe what he just heard was yuu really helping him and how did he know he needed help had he been that obvious for the happy go lucky band boy just that good at reading people. “Fine by me“ Satoru says as neutrally as he can. 

Everybody laughed and cheered except Utahime who interjected “you’re acting like satoru is single”.

oh hell no Utahime was not going to take this opportunity away from gojo “well its only fair I get to kiss Suguru I mean you kissed your friend earlier I didn’t say anything and besides its just a game right?

utahime was enraged but satoru had a point and he knew it. 

Satoru looks at Suguru hoping he would agree, maybe this would show the latter that he really was sorry for shunning him out.