Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Look Reid, I know you’re mad at us, because we didn’t tell you what really happened and… I understand that, but I promise you, we had no choice… You mourned the loss of a friend, I mourned the loss of six… This whole thing gave me an ulcer, please don’t give me another one… are you going to go to Rossi’s tomorrow?”

“We’ll see”

He was undecided. Despite what Prentiss thought, her words weren’t enough to put an end to his anger or his hurt, but he was also getting so tired of it. Maybe the dinner could be a first step to mending some of that, or at least getting him a bit of a break. Things couldn’t go back to what they were like JJ wanted, that trust was lost and likely wouldn’t ever be rebuilt. Still at least being civil enough they could work cases would be a start he supposed.

He was about to ask Derek for a lift when his phone rang. It was Bennington and they never rang at this time. Normally it was at 3pm when the doctors did any updates to family members. After all this time he knew their routine better than his own and they only broke it in emergencies.

The others were gathering their things, only giving him the odd curious glance as he answered.

“This is Dr Reid.”

“Dr Reid, is this a good time to talk?”

It wasn’t but it would be far worse if he put it off. The worry would niggle at him until he rang back. “Now is fine.” They had a bit of time to disembark and his car was parked just off the runway with the others; he could afford to sit back and brace himself.

“I am very sorry to tell you that Diana suffered from a stroke overnight and died in her sleep.”

They said other things and he was sure he responded. A part of his brain was already calculating and planning what needed to be done and who needed to be called. The rest of him wanted to curl up and cry.

He dealt with people grieving on almost every case and yet he’d never realised what it felt like.

“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll call you back with the arrangements shortly.”

Weeks ago he would have gone straight to JJ, or even Hotch. Derek would have been next if he hadn’t shown him years ago with his nightmare’s that he would almost immediately tell the other’s.

He wanted to forget. He wanted dilaudid, could still see the phone number of his old dealer when he closed his eyes and if that failed, knew exactly where to go. Instead he gripped the coin in his pocket and texted John. His sponsor would understand in a way the rest of the team couldn’t, and John’s wife had a knack for distracting him with whatever her book club had been reading.

It would be enough, would have to be enough. He wished Ethan was closer.

Friday meant as long as a case came up he didn’t need to worry about work, could find their support and their help until the cravings died down.

“You want a lift to Rossi’s?”

Derek was blocking his way off the plane. “Something’s come up.”

“Come on pretty boy. You can’t stay angry at them.”

Angry? Oh, JJ and Prentiss. It had slipped his mind, didn’t even seem important now, nothing did. After always thinking the descriptions of grief being like something was torn out of your chest were overly dramatic, he was starting to rethink. God, he missed the numbness of being high.

“Not. I just…need to do…something.”

The fingers he was digging into the inside of his elbow didn’t even register until Derek’s hand grabbed his wrist. “Is that what you need to do? Did you lie? Are you using again?”

It was like cold water thrown over him. His addiction, after years of them all swerving away from mentioning it, brought up when he actually needed help with it. He wished he was, wished it would make this all go away. Instead he settled for anger.

“Fuck you.”

Derek went to block him but Spencer had spent his life having to get away from people bigger and stronger than him. It was far too easy to get past the man and down the ramp. Once he was in the car it would be a straight drive to John’s, he’d already got a text back saying Mary was waiting.

“Reid, what’s wrong?”

Prentiss tried to block his route, he went around her.

“Reid’s using again.”

Fuck Derek and his assumptions. His lack of belief. The way he’d just said that in front of Rossi who Spencer had spent years hiding his addiction from.

Hotch had grabbed his shoulder, bringing him to a stop. “Show me your arms.”

“I am not using.”

“Your behaviour is erratic and your responses unproportional. Show me your arms.”

“So I’m not allowed to be angry? Fuck that.”

The others were all watching on, he could feel their gazes. Their unwanted pity. Which was of course when JJ chimed in. “It’s okay if you have Spence, we just want to help.”

They were closing in around him, it would take something shocking to get them to back off enough for him to leave and get to the safety of his Sponsor.

“It is Dr Reid to you, Jennifer.”

Hotch’s grip loosened but didn’t let go. Words he’d been suppressing for years started coming forward. Things he couldn’t say if he was going to keep a good relationship with the team, something he suddenly realised he no longer cared about. That thought should have been sad, instead it was barely a graze on what he was felt.

“Help? Like you helped when I was actually using? When I was practically begging and you all just ignored it, sweeping it all under a rug? I was dying! I almost died going through withdrawal on my own! Help like that? Fuck off.”

Hotch let go and he surged forwards and towards his car. They were in the rearview mirror before any of them started to react.

Half an hour later he was sobbing on Mary's shoulder. His Mum was gone.

—

On Saturday Derek went to Spencer’s apartment to apologise only to find it was empty. He considered trying again on Sunday but he could just get into work early on Monday, or do it on the plane if a case came up.

If he’d gone back on Sunday he would have seen the movers packing all of Spencer’s belongings. His lease was broken the next day.

—

By ten, Hotch was starting to get concerned. Reid had yet to arrive and the call he had just made went straight to voicemail. They had not parted in the best of ways on Friday and Reid hadn’t made a showing at Rossi’s that evening. Surely he hadn’t been upset enough to do something drastic.

He would need to get a drug test booked in to be sure.

That was still on his mind when Strauss pushed her way into his office looking thunderous, the doors and blinds being shut as soon as she entered.

“You, Agent Hotchner, are in so much shit.”

“I don’t know what you are referring to.” Had they found out he’d been hiding Reid’s addiction? Was this about Emily’s return? Or something else Strauss managed to dig up to criticise him and his team.

“The Assistant Director has requested an investigation into how your team, and especially you, handled the return of Agent Prentiss. He is particularly interested in your team's dynamics and behaviour towards each other.”

If he’d been looking in a mirror he was pretty sure he would have been able to see himself turn white. “There have been some minor hiccups but nothing requiring investigation.”

“The Assistant Director disagrees. After his compassionate leave, Dr Reid will be taking a secondment for at least the next six months in which he will be reporting directly to the Assistant Director, focusing on the consults he does for all other departments and building stronger relationships with the other agencies who have been interested in his talents. If upon his return Dr Reid does not want to return to this team, it will be disbanded.”

“What? Is this another ploy of yours, you’ve been trying to get rid of me for long enough.”

“I could get rid of you at any time now, you’ve lost that safety net you’ve all become far too reliant on. Dr Reid has indicated that he may wish to return to this team, that is the only reason I’m not sending you all to different field offices.”

“Why do you suddenly care about what Reid wants? You don’t even like him.” This was a threat to his team, a threat to him and yet he couldn’t understand this stay of execution on it.

“Not everything revolves around you, Hotchner. For all you say you’re profilers, it seems none of you have even noticed what has been going on at Quantico.” Her laugh set him on edge. She was far too delighted with whatever he had missed and she seemed gleeful to be telling him.

“The Assistant Director has been training Dr Reid as his replacement for a number of years now. Not only does he do 35% of the consults your team performs but he takes twice as many unrelated to his work for the BAU directing from the Assistant Director. He’s loved by every section chief, every field office and most government organisations for his expertise. By upsetting him, you have massacred any career aspirations you had.”

Surely he couldn’t do all that and none of them notice. How had he not noticed? He gave all of his team an equal distribution of cases, there was no way that could be true, right?

“The Assistant Director is personally upset with your team on Dr Reid’s behalf. You will pass on to your team that any contact with Dr Reid that he doesn’t initiate will be considered disciplinary action and should you wish for a consult from Dr Reid you will contact me and I will pass it on if appropriate. Any questions?”

Hotch was still reeling from all the new information, looking at the last few years with a new light and suddenly seeing how blind they had been. Strauss didn’t give him the time to recover, leaving to speak to Rossi before heading out the door.

He needed to tell the team.

—

Penelope loved her team and showed her affection in slightly intrusive ways to ensure they were safe. When a notification popped up saying Reid’s personal files had been updated she was surprised.

Reid hadn’t told her anything about moving. She knew he was upset with the rest of the team but she didn’t think their relationship was impacted. She hoped not, she’d found a small cinema showing a classic Dr Who movie and was hoping her Boy Wonder would come with her.

Derek just looked confused when she asked, JJ and Emily just exchanged a look while frowning. She was getting the feeling that something had happened and none of them were talking about it.

Ten minutes later she got another notification, his emergency contact had changed, no longer Hotch but someone called John. Only she couldn’t remember him ever talking about a John.

She wanted to go ask their leader but Strauss had gone in five minutes before and from the tones they could hear through the closed door it was getting heated. She could bother him later.

She could look it up but it felt like maybe that was a bit too much invasion of Boy Wonder’s privacy. He’d probably hate that she knew anything. But what if there was something wrong, surely a quick check wouldn’t hurt.

“Why are you looking up the Assistant Director?”

“I…don’t know.” The address was the same as Spencer’s new address. Why was her Junior G-man living with the Assistant Director now? What had happened?

The request to meet in the conference room came seconds later and filled her a little with dread, especially when Spencer was nowhere to be seen. Hotch looked far too serious. Please say he was alright.

When Hotch started to talk, that hope died. Compassionate leave meant his Mum. They’d only met for a short time but she could always see how much Spencer loved her. When she was told that she shouldn’t contact him she almost broke.

The others were talking about what it meant for the team, how this was so unfair. She wasn’t even sure they’d processed what that first part meant for her friend.

—

Three days later she left a tin of cookies on a doorstep with a note that said even if she’d only known her for a short time, she was there for him if he wanted company.

A day later she got an email from [email protected] saying just two words. Thank you.

From there she sent silly memes, things to cheer him up just a bit, and eventually started getting them back. Not long after, she was gleeful to discover his boy had steered him into the world of smart phones and she could finally video call her missing Boy Wonder.

They were working him up to virtual movie nights.

—

Dave wasn’t thrilled by the email he’d just got from his publisher. Apparently a Las Vegas local paper had gotten a photo of him stopping William Reid getting into Diana’s funeral and decided to make an article of it.

Spencer was going to be pissed off if he saw it.

The boy he’d come to think of as a son asking for him to be there instead of any of the others had eased some of the guilt of not helping him earlier. He hadn’t thought the team would react the way they did.

He’d known about the drugs, read it between the lines of the old case files he’d looked through when he first started back. The team hadn’t known that though and he was disgusted at the way they’d outed something that was incredibly personal to Spencer.

His role as security was one he had been more than happy to take. Spencer didn’t need to deal with the man that tried to call him son after abandoning him at such a young age to deal with things no one should have had to deal with let alone as a pre-teen.

The email he sent back laid out how he would not be publishing an apology and if William Reid felt the need to take things further he would be getting in touch with his lawyer about libel.

In the meantime he was starting to work on a new book and he had a co-author in mind already.

—

Will was surprised to receive a letter to the station.

Reading it though, he could understand why it hadn’t come to the house. Everything that had been going on with Spencer left a bit of a bad taste in his mouth, he’d tried to talk her into telling him all that time but his wife was ever the stubborn one.

Now he had a letter asking if video calls could be arranged with Henry when JJ wasn’t present.

Spencer didn’t want to abandon his godson, like his father had done to him, but he also didn’t feel like his current behaviour around JJ would be appropriate for the boy. Despite the rant he’d listened to about Spencer behaving immaturely, this was probably the most mature outcome that could happen. Certainly the best for Henry.

He responded with agreement, offering to pass on any messages from Godfather to son while they were working out times.

He would deal with telling his wife.

—

The first parcel was a surprise.

Jack rarely received anything addressed to him let alone something from the UK so Hotch found himself opening it to be on the safe side. There was a letter and another well wrapped box within.

The letter had familiar handwriting that made his heart stop for a minute. Reid.

He knew that Rossi and Garcia were in touch with the man, even overheard a tearful confession from JJ to Prentiss that he was talking to Henry through Will. But Henry was his Godson and Aaron hadn’t expected the few times he’d babysat Jack to turn into a similar level of communication.

Reid must have known he would open it first before giving it to his son, too much had happened the last few years for that not to be the obvious outcome. Yet he hadn’t felt the need to go through Jessica like he had Will. It felt like forgiveness, even if he wasn’t entirely sure he was worthy of it.

The letter didn’t go into details of what he was doing but let Jack know that Spencer was in England visiting a friend and that he had been taken fossil hunting along the coast. There were a couple of printed pictures, one of Spencer looking happier than he had in a while clutching a hammer and some swirl in a rock he assumed was a fossil.

The box was heavy and he had a suspicion he knew what was in it.

Later that day as Jack peeled it open with a grin, that suspicion was confirmed. At first they looked like rocks with cracks in them and a little label, all carefully wrapped in bubble wrap. When opened they each revealed a treasure within. Ammonites, belamites and a single fossil apparently called a Devil’s Toenail.

He found himself clearing off part of a shelf to display them in the living room.

—

Derek wasn’t sure what he was expecting to come out of Spencer leaving, of him letting his little brother down so badly. Elle Greenaway reappearing from the blue and punching him the moment he opened the door hadn’t been it.

As he pushed a pack of peas against his eye, he listened to her rant about what else she was going to do for letting down Spencer the way he had. He deserved all of it, and when he said as much she had just rolled her eyed, dug out a bottle of tequila he hadn’t even realised was still in his cupboard and told him to drink.

She talked about how Spencer had been the only one of them to keep in touch when she had left. How he was her best friend despite the distance between them and she wouldn’t let Derek ruin his return with his guilt. She seemed so determined that he would return. No one else was.

She also talked about the funeral, about Rossi playing bodyguard to keep Spencer’s father out, especially after she’d offered to shoot the man. A bad taste joke but he wasn’t entirely sure it was just a joke. About the pretty man who Spencer had clung on to called Ethan who she was determined to get Garcia to background check despite Rossi’s apparent acceptance of the man. And then give one hell of a shovel talk, especially since she’d found out he was moving from New Orleans to DC to be closer to Spencer when he returned stateside.

Derek hadn’t even known he wasn’t in the city let alone the country.

As she left, she pushed a note with an email address into his hand. He had an apology to make.

—

Emily expected to receive something. Anything. Yet nothing arrived. She heard JJ rant and others talk about things from him in whispers and in passing.

Still nothing.

For the first time, she thought she understood what it was like to mourn a friend.

Chapter Text

It was like there was a Spencer Reid sized hole in their team, but it wasn’t until their first case without him that it hit how big that hole actually was.

Hotch knew that only a week past Reid leaving the entire team was behind on paperwork, more so Prentiss, JJ and Morgan. It was suddenly becoming very apparent how he had been doing 35% of the consults. Him and Rossi were mostly unchanged but the younger members were suddenly drowning in their load.

A load that shouldn’t have changed since he’d split Reid’s with Rossi.

He had been aware of the odd case being passed over, this though was a sign it wasn’t the odd case. In fact he was pretty sure now Reid had been doing the work of two people from the cases he’d been giving out alone.

It was a blow that he hadn’t noticed, and even more of one when it was now apparent why the rest of the team had all managed to finish on time while Reid had stayed behind finishing files. It was unfair and he didn’t know how he had allowed it to continue unnoticed and unchallenged.

There was helping out and then there were people taking blatant advantage.

As they flew to their latest case he couldn’t help but dread finding out what else he had been overlooking. If Reid came back he would be putting a stop to all of this.

—

Cases hadn’t been a rush like this in so long it hit her harder than it should have.

Where before Penelope was in her element, hacking and tracking down information with pin point focus when they’d already narrowed it down. Now she was back to running the geographical profile software, which felt pointless considering how inaccurate it was in comparison to Spencer, finding every little bit of information he would have just been able to tell them previously; on top of her previous duties.

She had always appreciated Reid but she was very much getting a lesson in how that might not have been enough appreciation. When he was back in DC she was baking a whole coffee cake just for him.

Until then, she guessed she was pulling overtime whenever the team was on the field.

—

“Is Dr Reid with you?”

That was the third time JJ had heard the same question from this field office. They’d been called in to help with the case but it was becoming apparent that it wasn’t the entire team they wanted.

The looks of disappointment when she confirmed that he wasn’t there were setting her teeth on edge.

Spence was good, she knew that. But he was also awkward and asocial and the team could work perfectly fine without him. They didn’t need his immature attitude right then. Yet it seemed like everyone else thought otherwise.

Will certainly seemed to and that had been the first major hurdle in their marriage. Her husband was wonderful and so kind and thoughtful, so much so he was helping Reid keep in touch with Henry. If it wasn’t for the fact she knew she would be dealing with tantrums from her son by denying his favourite uncle she wouldn’t have allowed it.

With all the drugs and problems he obviously had after the weeks he’d spent crying in her arms over Emily, she really wasn’t sure he was a good influence.

No one else saw it that way.

—

Derek was obsessively checking his phone every spare second he got. His apology email had been sent the night before but a reply, any type of reply, was yet to arrive. Much as Elle’s drunken and excessively aggressive pep talk had inspired him to bear his soul more than he ever had with anyone he wasn’t sure it was enough.

Frankly he still wasn’t sure he was worthy of forgiveness but he would like a chance to try and make up for his part in his little brother leaving.

The case dragged on and the lack of response left him feeling as hollow as the knowledge that if Spencer had been there they likely would have already solved it. Rossi was the only one that didn’t seem to be feeling that pressure.

Hotch was far tenser than normal, JJ snappish, Garcia short and to the point with them all and Prentiss was distant, cold in a way he hadn’t seen before.

On the third day they found another body and he put his fist through a dry wall.

—

Emily wasn’t sure how to react around any of the team any more. Rossi was the only one that seemed normal and almost unaffected by it all but considering how long he’d been a profiler she wasn’t even sure if that was true.

She knew JJ was angry but it didn’t seem to match the situation and that anger was leaking through to how she was interacting with them.

It hadn’t really been her choice to hide her survival from the rest of the team, her crashing on the table had been very real and by the time she had recovered the lie was well established. JJ and Hotch had made that choice, she wasn’t sure it was the right one.

Hotch she could understand more, he was so married to the job it had ruined his actual marriage. Doing that for the benefit of her and the team was so in trend for him. So was not being able to cope with the lying and leaving to help the army.

JJ though had stayed and lied to them all. From what she understood her friend had been comforting Reid as he cried over her death, all the time messaging her through their scrabble games. The profiler part of her wonder if sometimes those were happening in parallel and she was trying very hard to not think about what that said about her friend.

Everyone else was grieving the loss of their youngest. Spencer was such a key part of their team that his departure from the family they built was like a weeping wound. She tried to keep her distance.

Even if she hadn’t chosen it, it was partly her fault and for the first time she couldn’t loose this family.

—

Rossi felt like they were right back to the old days before his retirement.

The team was making progress far slower than he was used to them, relying on his knowledge and experience a little heavier than before.

They were falling apart.

Spencer had asked him to look after them, which he thought was probably more than any of them deserved, so he watched and identified the weak points he would need to work on.

JJ was being selfish and egotistical, not understanding the damage she had done. That would need to be his first thing to address, it was not a good mindset for someone in the BAU to have.

Derek was angry with himself just as much as anyone else. David had to admit it was deserved, his actions the last time Spencer had been with the team had been completely out of order, even ignoring the tragic circumstances behind it. Still, Spencer had mentioned he was planning to reply to the apology he’d received and he suspected his genius would settle that anger with the chance of reconciling.

Penelope was just grieving, she was the innocent in all of this and apart from giving her recipes and their banter over cooking there wasn’t much he could do. Spencer was doing movie nights with her over video and that seemed to be helping.

Emily seemed to be blaming herself and internalising the blame she was putting on herself. That he wasn’t entirely sue how to help with apart from send her to a therapist, which frankly she should already be doing. Perhaps he would book her an appointment with an FBI sanctioned one so she could discuss everything and escort her there. He could be a support and it would be up to her to make amends.

Aaron was taking it the worst of them all and he supposed the man had a good reason for that. They all knew that Spencer had looked up to the man, and Aaron had lied to his face and then ran away when he could no longer cope with it. Their relationship had like brothers, while he knew the man wasn’t entirely cut off from Spencer, he suspected it would take a lot to rebuild that bond.

Still from the assessing looks Hotch had been shooting the others when they’d been struggling with their caseload and how they were all asking for the most mundane facts from Garcia they could have looked up themselves it was likely it could be built back up. If nothing else, Aaron had a much needed wakeup call on how vital Spencer was which he was unlikely to forget.

The case closed with none of them happy with how slowly it had progressed. When they got back he would make a start on JJ.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t necessarily unusual to get agents from other departments come into the BAU bullpen but it was for them to look around in confusion as if they were searching for something.

After a while the man approached Emily, smiling in a way she was sure he thought looked friendly but she remained on edge with strangers.

“Hi, is Spencer around? He’s missed a couple of our normal sessions on the range and I know you’ve not been away on a case for the last one?”

That made her blink. She hadn’t really considered that Reid was friends with people in other departments let alone had regular meeting with any of them. None of the others had mentioned anything, maybe they had all missed this.

“Reid is on secondment at the moment, I’m not sure where he is.”

The man didn’t look that surprised, in fact she would have put money on him already knowing and having been sent here to confirm for the rumour mill. She hated all the gossip, it was almost like being back in the embassies.

“Are you with the Fugitive Task Force?”

Rossi’s interruption was well timed, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to hear what next came out of the man’s mouth. It would seem like half the building was turning against them since Spencer had left. Even the canteen was very obviously making sure they got the worst of the already dodgy food they served.

“I am, Agent Rossi, Luke Alvez. A pleasure to meet someone Spencer talks about with admiration.” Emily didn’t think she would ever see Rossi blush like that and yet it had happened.

“Yes, he mentioned that someone might stop by looking for him. If you come into my office I’ve got something for you.”

She couldn’t help the burst of jealousy she felt at that. Weeks and she’d still received nothing yet Rossi had not only had contact but enough that he was passing on messages. And this unknown agent was just walking in to immediately get something.

Alvez left with a piece of paper in his hand she wanted to just snatch away.

When Rossi next emerged for coffee she followed him. “How does Reid know the Fugitive Task Force?”

It was definitely a diversion tactic that he focused on prepping the coffee pot instead of looking her way. “Apparently Spencer has been teaching and helping them with profiling fugitives on the side. They in exchange have been teaching him long range shooting so he has a better idea of the capabilities of such an UnSub.”

That wasn’t just a passing acquaintance.

“He has been doing much more than any of us realised. You should give him a lot more credit than you have been and try to understand. Your apparent death devastated him, that’s hard to come back from, especially with everyone telling you what you should be feeling.”

Reading between the lines was something she was good at, this wasn’t even particularly subtle. Shame made her flush, she supposed they had been trying to tell him how to feel that last case.

Her words on the jet even more so.

“Just give it some time. He’s processing everything and will let you know when he’s ready to talk.”

The hand on her shoulder was comforting but she wasn’t sure she deserved it.

—

Hotch was surprised when the call from the CIA came through. In hindsight he probably shouldn’t have been, it only made sense that Gideon had suggested Reid take over doing field assessments when he left. He knew the man had also impressed them during the case at their headquarters.

Now with Reid in England for a bit, the time sensitive ones were coming through the more official channels to him. And apparently he had been suggested.

Like with the fossils it felt like a step towards rebuilding that trust so he could support the younger man in the way he should have been all along.

He knew some of his team was in contact with Reid, perhaps if he kept up his remote support to allow him to do the things he needed to to heal he would get that chance as well. He was very much hoping to regain the right to call him Spencer.

—

This wasn’t what JJ expected when Rossi invited her to join him for lunch.

They’d gone to a cafe further than they would typically go over lunch, now sat in the relatively private booth at the back she could understand why. This wasn’t the type of conversation she wanted any of her fellow agents seeing, it wasn’t one she really wanted to be having at all. And yet it was probably the most important conversation she had had in a long time.

Her salad sat almost untouched from when it had arrived, Rossi’s sandwich was not much better and she expected they would both be taking them to eat at their desks.

Not that she could stomach food at that moment.

How had she allowed herself to get like this?

Rossi was blunter than he typically was, laying out in detail how she had been emotionally manipulating Spencer so he would have the reactions she wanted. Only they weren’t what he was actually feeling.

The situation had been too close for her to analyse what she had been doing, now it was all so obvious she felt sick. Spencer being angry at her wasn’t something she had wanted. Everyone else had forgiven them apart from him and that was the last little obstacle to getting her family all back together again.

Even though she hadn’t wanted to hurt him, just wanted him to forgive her, she could see now how she’d managed to achieve the exact opposite. In his shoes she would have probably reacted worse.

She needed to talk to Will, he’d help her get her head back on straight so she could look at resolving this and making it up to Spencer. To try and earn back the friendship she had thrown away without even realising it.

—

“Baby girl, I didn’t think a jazz bar would be your type of scene. It feels more Rossi.”

“Well, he is a silent partner in it so I’m not surprised.”

That Morgan wasn’t expecting but it would explain why his baby girl had managed to get them on the VIP list and skip all the lines. He’d heard of the place having a good reputation even if it didn’t appeal to him.

“Are we meeting up with him then?”

“Oh no, we’re checking in on Spencer’s ‘investment’ while he’s not here to stop it.” He hadn’t even seen Elle arrive yet here she was next to Penny linking their arms together like she’d never left.

“Reid owns this place?!”

Elle just swatted his gesturing hand away. “Partly but I meant piano boy up there. They’re ‘old friends’ and I thought you’d like to join us for the shovel talk, extra intimidation and all that.”

Penny patted his arm and sent him a wink. “We can ruin his life but these guns give that extra flair to the presentation.”

“Well lets get to it.”

It wasn’t quite that simple since this Ethan was on stage for the next couple of hours, still it was a nice bar. Speakeasy themed with a light lean on the theme, brass low lighting and plenty of comfortable velvet seating. He could definitely see the influence of Pretty Boy’s tastes even through he wasn’t sure the man had been in it since leaving two months ago.

He was due back in the country next week and Derek had arranged to meet for coffee to talk things out. From the calls though he thought it should go okay, they’d both calmed down and had the distance their friendship had needed.

He found himself joining the women in what was advertised as bathtub gin, watching and gossiping about everything they’d both dug up about this Ethan.

A genius like their Boy Wonder, going through university just a couple of years older than Spencer and sharing a number of courses. They’d roomed together once Spencer turned eighteen and seemed to have been close.

There were even records of Ethan being signed up for the Academy even if he hadn’t appeared on the first day. A black mark considering there seemed to have been no contact between them from then until that case in New Orleans. There was a chance Jazz Boy had broken their genius’s heart and he was going to have to be the voice of reason to stop his two female friends from doing something drastic to the man if that was the case.

The man in question finished his set and disappeared into the back. After a few minutes he sat in their booth with an easy smile. “Elle, it’s good to see you. Who are your companions?”

“Ethan, this is Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia.” Recognition flashed across the man’s face, it would seem Spencer had talked about them, a point in the man’s favour considering how evasive their Boy Wonder could be with his life.

“A pleasure, do you want a drink?” He didn’t wait for them to answer, just swept his eyes over them and flagged down a waitress in a tasteful flapper dress to order four of the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet in his office.

“Now do you want to get the inevitable shovel talk out of the way? I have no plans to leave Pen again and he has forgiven me for the first time.”

“That would be the psychology degree getting some use, would it?” Baby Girl was a wonder at subtle hinting that she had far more information about a person than she should have.

To his credit the man just laughed. “That it would. Go on, I won’t interrupt and then I can give you all the juicy stories of college Pen that he would like me to forget.”

Despite himself Derek found himself actually liking and approving of the man.

Chapter Text

Spencer returned to Quantico on an unusually wet Wednesday morning. The building was the same but he felt different.

To start with he wasn’t going to the BAU but to work in one of the office’s adjoining John. As they walked the hallways together there were whispers and people who waved as they passed and seemed to actually be glad he was back. He of course recognised them all from consults he’d done for all their different departments but he hadn’t thought they would recognise him.

It felt very odd but in a nice way. His Mum always said people didn’t appreciate him enough for what he did for them.

The last two months had been the space he needed. Ethan had pushed him to do something to honour his Mum and since John set him up to work remotely he took the chance. She’d always wanted to visit the places from her medieval literature but been too afraid of flying to do it.

Alice had been doing a doctorate at the same time he’d been doing his third and they’d been friends, keeping in touch via letters when she’d moved to England after her viva. She had been more than enthusiastic for him to visit, even offering for him to stay with her and her girlfriend.

He’d done day trips all over taking in as much of history as he could with a couple of bits added in just for himself. Garcia was still expressing her jealousy over the selfie at Ianto’s shrine but one of his highlights was definitely the historical Jack the Ripper tour. Despite the modernisation, all the winding back narrow lanes between houses insight in what it must have been like. Of course Spencer had his own theories on the identity of the killer.

The desk was waiting and ready for him with a box of his favourite cookies on one side no doubt curtesy of Garcia. He was planning to drop by the jazz club to see how it was going and catch up with Ethan so he’d need to make sure he left a few for the man.

Messages and phone calls just hadn’t been the same, especially with Alice and Clara teasing him about the love sick puppy face he pulled every time his phone lit up with one. He wasn’t sure it was love quite yet. There was still a little bit of hesitance on his part lingering from Ethan leaving him in the academy but he could see it becoming it in the future.

Going into a business partnership with someone wasn’t exactly a casual gesture even if he did now have way more money than he knew what to do with. Care was expensive so he’d always made sure to have at least five years saved with the rest of gambling winnings invested sensibly.

A cup of coffee slid across the desk by an amused John. “Ready to get started? There a whole queue of people who would like you to consult for them and there’s a meeting with the CIA later I would like you to sit in on with me.”

Taking a breath Spencer nodded.

It was a change but he wasn’t sure it was a bad one.

—

It was no suprise that the first of the BAU he saw was Rossi. The man had always been a bit of a rogue element and he now had an excuse in both being a part owner of their jazz club and housing Ethan.

Although the last had no doubt been so he could get a full read on the man rather than the goodness of his own heart. He’d been oddly protective the last few months.

“Settling back in okay?”

“Bit of jet lag but nothing too bad.” Which he promptly unintentionally emphasised with a yawn much to Rossi’s amusement.

“Good. You’re coming around for dinner on Monday, we’ll make a start on the book we’ve been discussing. My editor is very excited about the prospect of adding geographical profiling as an aspect.”

Spencer found himself grinning. They’d mentioned it in passing but he hadn’t known Rossi was already discussing it with his publisher. The very idea of it was so exciting. John certainly seemed amused when he rambled a little more than normal for the rest of the morning.

—

Garcia was the next day, using the excuse of reclaiming her tupperware.

“Boy Wonder! We need to have a call about everything you did and saw, I hope you took plenty of pictures.”

“My friends made sure I did, we can have a movie night and look through them.”

She seemed incredibly pleased by that idea, bouncing back and forth on what they could watch.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something, if that’s okay?”

“Of course, anything for my baby genius!”

That name he hadn’t missed, one day they would all accept he was in fact a grown man.

“I avoided computers to help with my Mum’s fears about them, but would you teach me? Now that’s…not something I need to do.”

It remained hard to talk about her but it was getting better.

“We’ll make a date of it, you’ll be hacking into the CIA in no time!”

Not quite what he wanted but good to see she had faith in him.

—

He wasn’t sure what he expected from Prentiss.

Logically he knew it largely wasn’t her fault, she’d been unconsious when the decision was made and by keeping quiet she was keeping herself safe. His rage had simmered down to just a mild hurt that she’d dismissed his feelings.

When an untranslated book of russian fairy tales was waiting for him after lunch he knew it was her way of apologising. He wanted to get more settled before reaching out to her but he knew he would.

Perhaps there was a movie playing they could go to.

—

Derek found him at the shooting range while he was practicing for his upcoming re-assessment.

It wasn’t the worry it used to be but he still liked to get plenty of practice in, plus Luke had lent him a couple of new models to have a go with.

“Looking good, Pretty Boy.”

Spencer just snorted and packed away his equipment while the man turned serious. “Can we go out and get coffee over lunch? I want to talk away from here.”

So an hour later he found himself in an indie coffee shop he hadn’t even realised existed so close. Definitely something he would have to keep in mind since the pastries looked delicious.

Morgan came back across with an iced coffee that looked to have an appropriately ungodly amount of caramel syrup, a blueberry scone and raspberry croissant that he placed in front of Spencer. Blatant apology strategy but he had to admit the man knew the way to his heart.

“I know I messed up and you don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to. I was concerned and I went about it in all the wrong ways.”

It hadn’t been ideal but he understood Derek had been trying to look out for him.

“I’m not sure I fully forgive you yet but I think I will. I want us to try and get back to being friends.”

“And I’ll do everything I can to make that happen, starting with hearing all about your ‘old friend’.”

That he should have been expecting.

—

Hotch caught him at the jazz club as he got off of the stage after performing piano for Ethan’s saxophone. It made sense considering how much the man tried to keep work and his personal life seperate. The cross over of them had not been pleasant for him.

“I didn’t know you played, you’re very good.”

Praise from the older man always caused him to feel warm, while Gideon and Rossi were father figures, Hotch had always been more an older brother vibe. Sean wasn’t that far off of his age so it made sense.

“I’ve dabbled for a while, Ethan’s been getting me to pick it back up as a calming exercise and it’s working pretty well.”

“I’m glad.”

They sat in silence watching the rest of Ethan’s set, as the applause started Hotch seemed to have gathered his courage.

“I’m sorry for not helping you more. I was blinded by everything going on and I didn’t realise how much you needed help. If I could do it over I would make a different decision.”

“And I wouldn’t have let you risk your career after you’d fought for it. I was hurt but for you more than the other’s I understood why you couldn’t.”

That earned him a tired sigh. “I still wish it was different. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Come to the Smithsonian on Saturday if you haven’t got a case. Jess asked me to be her and Jack’s personal tour guide and you could join us.”

It was an olive branch back.

“Unless there’s a case I would love to.”

Ethan came over and he popped to the restroom to give Hotch the time to do whatever his version of the bucket talk was. They’d been making bets and giggling over the various attempts so far.

—

JJ sent him a note through Will, letting him know that she understood how manipulative she had been and she understood if he didn’t want to continue their friendship but that she was sorry.

There were more words, dots he thought might have been marks from dried tears and the feeling like the breath had left him. Mary had taken one look at his face and gone to make the most decadent hot chocolate she could and paired it with one of Garcia’s cookies. John just put a hand on his shoulder in a silent gesture that he was their if he wanted to talk.

He told them about the hurt, the months going to JJ’s house and then the manipulation to just forget his hurt.

They understood.

Didn’t push him to forgive or forget. Just said that if he wanted to then he could take the first step but that he should take it at his own pace. Trust once broken was hard to rebuild.

He thought he might though, slowly, at least to the point where they were civil to each other. If only for the sake of Henry and his friendship with Will.

Chapter Text

When the memo came that Spencer would only be rejoining the team part time, Hotch had very much been expecting it. He’d still be with them but not for every case, he was now too important and in demand from just about every department.

In fact a number of other unit and even section chiefs had been cornering him to demand why they had kept the genius from helping them all. It was rapidly seeming like Dr Spencer Reid had accidentally made himself the backbone of the FBI.

Telling the leam went about as well as he expected. Rossi already knew, and it seemed like Morgan and Garcia had an inkling if not the details of it. JJ and Prentiss were a bit blindsided but also very much expecting it. He knew their contact with Spencer was tentative at most.

He was just glad that the man he had come to think of as a little brother was finally putting himself first and doing something that made him happy. Even if only part of the time it would be nice to have regular contact with him again next month.

—

The invite from Ethan via Rossi to come to the jazz club that night was a surprise one, especially for JJ and Emily who hadn’t really reconciled like the rest of the team. They’d mostly been assuming they were banned from the bar considering the owners. Rossi was very much on Spencer’s side and increasingly Ethan’s since the man had been living with him the last few months.

That had been a surprise for the team. He apparently found them sickeningly adorable and far too thin. Turned out feeding Ethan and forcing excessive leftovers on him, was an excellent way to also make sure Spencer ate.

Even Hotch’s disapproving look didn’t get why they were all being invited out of the man who just smiled said the tab would be on him. So they all gathered in a booth just to the side of the front with an excellent view. Rossi’s personal table with a steady flow of genuinely happy waiting staff bringing them drinks. No doubt Rossi both paid and tipped well.

They were talking amongst themselves so it wasn’t until the first notes started that Garcia first spotted them. Reid sat at the piano, playing beautifully with Ethan holding a saxophone at his side in a matching outfit. Her squeal about how cute they were brought all of their attention to the stage.

They played with the ease and unison all partners must strive for and yet so few achieve. The way they smiled together between songs and finished the set playing the piano together showed how deep that relationship had gone.

Most of them knew it already but it was a surprise to JJ and Emily, as well as a little sad. They hadn’t realised that a person they used to think of as a close friend was so far from them they didn’t even know how in love they were.

It wasn’t until they took a bow and Ethan didn’t rise again but dropped to a knee that they realised why they had been invited. The look of shock on Spencer’s face was comical as he opened his mouth and found the rare occurrence of words fleeing him.

“Dr Spencer Reid, I know I left you before but it only showed me how unfulfilling my life was without you at my side. Will you do me the honour of standing with me as my husband?”

The kiss Spencer pulled him into had Derek a little scandalised and Garcia in floods of happy tears.

There were cocktails coming out to all of the tables and the two of them got caught up in the flow of people wanting to congratulate them. It was possibly the happiest they had seen Spencer.

Despite all the bad and the hurt that had come before, Spencer was sort of glad it had happened. Ethan was by his side and nothing felt bad when that happened.