Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“So, I know that camp food isn’t exactly supposed to be five-star meals,” Ron says, “but I still think it should be a lot better than what was served at Wannaweep.”

“I completely agree with you.” Gil replies. “And, honestly, that’s not hard to do. I’m just saying that to keep the camp affordable, we may need to tone down the fanciness of the food.”

“I guess I see your point.” Ron says. He sighs before continuing: “I just want to make sure kids get an awesome camp experience.”

“I know dude, but camp is about more than the food. You can make healthy delicious food that they’ll love without needing a huge budget.”

“Fair.” Ron says. “You know, I actually am glad I’m working on this with you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Gil says. “If only acquiring the property wasn’t so difficult.”

“Yeah, I wonder what the hold-up is?” Ron asks. “Wasn’t the surveyor supposed to be done by now?”

As if on cue, Zita comes over holding a newspaper.

“Amigos, you’ve got a problem.” She says.

“Tell me about it.” Gil says. “We’ve got a camp budget and several different kinds of meals to provide. Kosher, halal, gluten free-”

“Stop.” Zita says. “That sounds frustrating and all, but I meant this.” She then lays the newspaper down for them to read the headline.

Rise of the Apes: Mutant Monkeys Spotted at Abandoned Wannaweep Campgrounds

“That is a problem.” Ron says.

“At least we know why the surveyor never got back to us about the property lines.” Gil comments.

“We need to check this out.” Ron says.

“We?” Gil asks.

“I mean, you’re in this project too.” Ron says. “You have just as much reason to get this solved as I do. And my other friends all have classes the rest of the week.”

“I don’t have classes the rest of the week.” Zita says. “So, I’m coming with you.”

“Okay. Let me just make some calls first.”

Ron takes out his phone and calls Wade.

“What’s up?” Wade asks.

“Gil, Zita and I are going to investigate the mutant monkeys at the old Wannaweep campgrounds.” Ron explains. “Can you arrange a ride for us?”

“Sure! You see that camper van in the parking lot with its headlights flashing?”

“Yes?”

“That’s your ride.”

Ron, Gil and Zita head over to the van.

“Wade, there’s no driver.” Ron says.

“I don’t need one!” the van replies.

Ron screams.

Gil jumps into Zita’s arms.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare anyone.” The van says. “My name is VIN. I’m a birthday present for Ron from Dr. Freeman and Wade.”

“Uh…my birthday was a month ago.” Ron says.

“I know.” Wade says. “It took longer than expected to finish making him. We put a lot of features in him.”

“Ooh, does he have the extra-large cupholders?” Ron asks.

“On every seat!” VIN says. “And you can attach a car seat to me.”

“Cool! I can finally drive Hana around!” Ron says excitedly. “Thanks Wade. He may be late, but he’s an awesome gift!”

“No problem. That’s what friends do, right?”

Ron looks at Wade fondly before replying:

“Yeah, it is.” Ron then turns to Zita and Gil. “So, we’re going to grab some food before heading out to Wannaweep. I want Bueno Nacho, I know Gil wants Cow ‘n’ Chow, Zita, what would you like?”

“I’d love some pizza.” She says.

“Got it!” VIN says. “Calculating best route to get to Bueno Nacho, Cow ‘n’ Chow, Pizza Palace, and then Wannaweep. Anywhere else we need to go?”

“No, but we do need to call our families to tell them what’s going on.”

“Not a problem.” VIN says. “Calling Mrs. Stoppable.”

“He does phone calls too?” Ron asks, amazed. “This is the best gift ever!”

“Dude, I’m jealous.” Gil says.

“I wonder how much it’d cost to get one of these?” Zita asks.

“You can't buy me,” Vin says, “I’m custom-made.”

Gil and Zita groan.

“You have all the luck.” Gil says.

Well, we can hope.

Chapter Text

“So, not to sound like a coward,” Zita says, “but this place is way spookier than I imagined.”

“Yeah, it’s like that.” Ron says. “I still have a lot of trauma stemming from this place.”

“Then why are you here?” Zita asks incredulously.

“Someone’s got to find out what’s going on.” Ron says. “And besides, the guy who was attacking me last time is on my side now. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

You’re a lot braver than me.

“Alright Wade,” Ron says, “you’re completely sure there’s no more mutant stuff left in the water? Not even in the grotto Gil used last time?”

“I’m completely sure.” Wade says. “Gil and Dr. Lurkin’s Wannaweep cleanup project was extremely successful. The water is so clean, it’s safe to drink.”

“Well,” Gil says, “we worked really hard to get it that way.”

“So, if it’s not the lake,” Zita says, “something else must be causing the monkeys to mutate.”

“Also, where would monkeys have even come from?” Gil asks. “They’re not exactly indigenous to this area.”

“No zoos have reported nearby have reported any monkeys missing.” Wade says. “Maybe illegal animal smuggling?”

“Maybe…” Ron says. “We should look around for more answers. And suit up.”

At that, Ron and Zita change into their costumes.

“Uhm…” Gil begins, “I must have left my costume at home.”

“Sorry.” Ron says. “Forgot you don’t have a costume.”

“No big deal.” Gil says. “I’ll just make one.”

He shifts his outfit to a pink and black costume with…frills on the mask. His eyes are inhuman and blue.

"Oh!' Zita says. "You're an axolotl!"

"Yup!" Gil says. "I always thought they were kind of cool."

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Ron says, “how do you change your clothes? Surely, that’s not actually a facet of your shapeshifting power. Not unless you-”

“I’m going to stop you there.” Gil says. “Just, don’t think about it too much.”

“Okay then.” Ron says. “Alright, let’s start looking around. We are not, under any circumstances, to split up.”

Gil and Zita agree.

“So, where to begin?” Ron asks.

“Well,” Gil says, “even mutant animals have to eat something, right?”

“Good idea!” Ron says. “To the mess hall!”

Zita follows closely behind Gil and Ron but is clearly unsettled.

This place gives me the creeps. How does Ron do this?

***

“Well, someone’s definitely been making food here.” Ron says. “The appliances are warm, and it smells like the kitchen’s been used.”

“I’m surprised any of this stuff works.” Gil says. “And that they haven’t burned the place down using this stuff.”

“So, they’re definitely living here.” Zita says. “But where are they now?”

“Well, the last time a monkey was at this camp,” Ron says, “they lived in one of the cabins.”

“We could check there.” Gil says.

“We’re going towards the place where we think los monstruous are?” Zita asks.

“They’re not monsters.” Ron says. “They’re normal animals that have been mutated by…something.”

“Yeah.” Gil says. “I was a monster. But that was more due to my actions than my mutation. Those animals probably need help just as much as anyone.”

“Okay…” Zita says.

Ron and Gil share a look. With a nudge from Gil, Ron talks to Zita.

“Look, if you think you can’t do this, it’s fine.” Ron says. “You can have VIN drive you home.”

“I’m fine.” Zita says. “I can do this. I want to at least try.”

“Alright then, let’s go.” Ron says.

Despite her words, Zita is still very scared.

I already know I’m going to regret this.

***

“The cabin appears to be empty.” Ron says. “It doesn’t look like anyone’s live here since, well, I lived here.”

“Hmm…” Gil begins. “Where else would a bunch of mutant monkeys live?”

“The science camp, maybe.” Ron offers. “I mean, if you’re going to mutate a bunch of monkeys, you’d probably need a lab.”

As soon as he’s done speaking, a bunch of spotlights turn on.

“You’re exactly right!” A feminine voice replied. “Mutant monkey ninjas, attack!”

Mutant monkey ninjas? At Wannaweep?

I really was put on this earth to suffer!

***

Gil would have gladly joined the fight, but he had given himself night vision and was blinded by the spotlights suddenly turning on.

I’m sure Ron’ll be fine. And if he’s not, Zita will help.

Gil’s vision is starting to return, and he can see the fight better. Ron’s been making sure the monkeys are targeting him, and Zita is…gone.

Where did she go?

“Gil!” Ron says. “Find Zita!”

“You said not to split up!”

“She needs you more than I do!”

Gil turns into a bear.

Roses? Roses don’t grow around here. Zita!

***

Ron understands that it’s called a fight or flight response for a reason, so he’s not mad at Zita. Still, he does wish he had some backup.

It was bad enough when they were regular monkeys! But mutant monkey ninjas? I am so in over my head!

That’s the last thing Ron thinks before he feels a sharp pain, and everything goes black.

Chapter Text

Ron’s head hurts. Well, actually, his everything hurts. It hurts too much to open his eyes, but he doesn’t need to do that to know that he’s strapped to some kind of table.

Still, he needs to assess the situation, so he has to try opening his eyes.

“Oh, good!” The voice exclaims. “You’re awake.”

It takes a minute for his vision to clear, but as soon as it does, Ron recognizes the woman who’s capture him:

“DNAmy!”

***

Zita is trying very hard to not freak out.

You’re in VIN. You’re safe now. There’s no reason to freak out. You’re safe.

It isn’t working.

A bear taps on the window, scaring her more.

She screams.

The bear screams.

The bear turns back into Gil.

VIN lets him in.

“You know,” Gil says, “it’s okay if you panic. I mean, you can’t control it, so might as well let yourself do it anyways.”

Zita immediately curls up into a ball and starts crying.

Gil wraps his arms around her and starts gently rubbing her back.

“It’s okay to be scared.” Gil says. “It’s pretty normal. Everyone gets scared.”

“Even you?”

“Yeah, even me.” Gil explains. “I couldn’t look at my reflection for months after I was cured.”

“That’s a trauma response.” Zita says. “It’s understandable.”

“You don’t need to have experienced a trauma for your fear to be justified.”

“I was fine last time I went on a mission!”

“On your last mission, you fought robots.” Gil says. “These are real, living beings. It’s understandable that they’d be scarier than robots.”

“But I still have to fight!” Zita exclaims. “I can’t just run away!”

“Both times Ron fought me, he ran away.”

“I thought he fought you and won?”

“He did.” Gil says. “But he ran away first. Because, sometimes, you need to give yourself space to think before you act. And his plans were brilliant both times.”

“I don’t have any brilliant plans.”

“One of the highest-ranking Everlot players can’t come up with a plan?”

“That’s a video game.” Zita says. “It doesn’t work in real life. I’d need cool powers and gadgets.”

“Oh no.” Gil says sarcastically. “Where are you ever going to get those?”

“Point taken.” Zita says.

“So, if this were a level in a video game,” Gil begins, “what would you do?”

There’s a bit of silence before Zita comes up with an answer.

“We need to get to the science camp.” Zita says. “Find out what’s going on and how we can rescue Ron.”

“I’m sure VIN can drive us.”

“We can’t let them know we’re coming.”

“I have a stealth mode!” VIN says.

“That’ll work.” Gil says. “What do we do once we get there?”

“We lure out the guards.” Zita says. “I mean, the mutant monkey ninjas. We knock them out, put them in VIN, and then go rescue Ron.”

“Good plan.” Gil says. “How do we knock them out?”

“Well, I am a snake.” Zita says, smiling with fangs.

***

“So, let me guess,” Ron says, “you wanted living Cuddle Buddies again.”

“Not exactly.” DNAmy says. “You see, since my sweetums has been turned to stone, it’s put a damper in my plans to start a family with him.”

Oh, this day just gets worse and worse.

“Luckily, his little monkey children were just wandering around, all alone. So, I thought it’d be a good way to have a family after all.”

“I guess I can kind of understand the reasoning.” Ron says. “But, uh, why did you mutate them?”

“Oh, that.” DNAmy says. “That was to make them even more powerful so I can exact my revenge on you for turning him into stone.”

I’m not the one who did that, but I’m definitely not going to tell her that.

“How did you know who I am?”

“Well, you’re clearly someone I’ve met as a villain, since you called me by my villain name instead of my legal one, and you’re also someone who can wield mystical monkey power, given your blue glow and tail. There’s only one person who fits both criteria.”

“Wow.” Ron says. “You are a lot smarter than people give you credit for. And that’s saying something.”

“Thank you!” DNAmy says. “Unfortunately, flattery isn’t going to save you.”

“Worth a shot.” Ron says. “So, what’s your plan? Are you going to mutate me too?”

“Of course not! I’m not going to make you more powerful!” DNAmy says. “I’m just going to transfer your mystical monkey power into my monkey pudding and revive him.”

Well, I’ve got to admit, that is excellent revenge.

***

“You need to make a sound that sounds suspicious.” Zita says.

“Animal sounds probably won’t cut it.” Gil says.

“I can play a recording of someone walking through bushes.” VIN says.

“That’ll work.” Zita says. “Give us a chance to hide first.”

“Got it.”

***

Well, the plan had involved taking out all of the ninjas, but the villain only sent one. Sure, it was a lot easier to knock out just one, but she’s not liking their odds if they storm in right now.

Okay, new plan. What do I…

Zita slithers over to Gil.

“Turn into the monkey we just knocked out.”

“So, I can go in without arousing suspicion?” Gil asks. “Great plan.”

Gil opens the door and puts the monkey inside.

He then takes on the monkey’s form, and heads inside.

Zita follows after, keeping to the shadows so she’s not noticed.

***

Ron’s not entirely sure DNAmy’s machine would work, but he really doesn’t want to find out. He needs to think of a plan to get out of there.

He’s distracted by the sound of movement outside.

DNAmy hears it too.

“Will one of you go check on that for mommy?” She asks.

Well, she’s a lot nicer to them than Monkey Fist was. Minus the mutation thing.

One of the monkeys heads outside.

There’s the sound of a struggle, and then the monkey comes back.

“Well, what was it?”

The monkey makes some monkey sound and gestures that indicate a snake.

“A snake? Oh dear.” DNAmy says. “Well, at least you’re unharmed.”

She honestly thinks of them as her children. Maybe I can use that…

***

This villain doesn’t seem to be paying too much attention to the monkeys, so Gil just wanders over to the table Ron’s on to see about undoing the straps.

Ron looks at him suspiciously.

Gil smiles at him with a mouth of shark teeth teeth.

Ron figures it out.

He really is smarter than people give him credit for.

***

“Look, Amy, I get that you want a family.” Ron says while releasing his other wrist. “And that’s not a bad thing to want. But this isn’t the way to go about it. You can’t force them to be your family. And Monkey Fist doesn’t even want a family with you. The only thing that’ll happen if you revive him is that the world will have another madman in it.”

“Well, he’s ambitious, but I wouldn’t call him mad…”

“He mentally and emotionally abused those monkeys before he got them.” Ron says. “Right Chippy?”

The monkey with rabbit ears and a puff at the end of its tail makes noises that seem to be an agreement.

“Oh, well, he does have a bit of a temper, but I'm not sure…”

“He was also willing to kill a baby.”

“What!” DNAmy exclaims, horrified. “When?”

“I was babysitting and I ended up having to bring her along.” Ron says. “He was willing to kill her. No hesitation, no remorse. If the baby was an obstacle, he would kill her.”

Well, none of that’s a lie.

“I had no idea!” DNAmy exclaims. “What a horrible thing to do!”

“Exactly!” Ron says. “Is that really someone you want to start a family with?”

“I guess not.” DNAmy says sadly.

“Also, I’m sure you love the monkeys very much,” Ron begins, “but families don’t mutate each other against their will.”

“Aww. But they’re so much more powerful this way!”

“I’m sure they are.” Ron says. “But are they happier this way?”

Amy and Ron look at the monkeys, and they all sadly shake their heads.

“See? They’re not happy about it.” Ron says. “And if you love someone, you want them to be happy. You have to change them back.”

“I guess you’re right. Let me just shut down my power draining machine first.” Amy heads over to the machine and starts pressing buttons. Then, she starts making the same noises Ron’s dad makes when he’s stuck on something.

“I’m going to guess by your tone that you can’t shut it off.”

“Uh…no. And it’s about to explode.”

“What?!” Ron exclaims.

Luckily, Gil gets the last strap undone just in time.

Zita appears out of the shadows.

“VIN’s outside!” She says.

“We’re not all going to fit!” Gil exclaims.

“Put the statue and the ninjas in the van.” Zita says. “The rest of you can ride the Quetzalcoatl express.”

“The what?” Ron asks.

Instead of a verbal answer, Zita transforms into a giant feathered serpent.

“Get on!”

Gil helps DNAmy get on.

“This is awesome!” Ron says.

“No time to be impressed.” Zita says.

“Fair enough.”

***

Honestly, it wasn’t a particularly large explosion, but Ron’s still glad he wasn’t in the building when it happened.

After the explosion, they went back to the camp to contain the fire. A heavy rain started over the building.

“You can control the weather?” Gil asks.

“I can make rain.” Zita explains. “It’s not quite as cool.”

“It sure came in handy today.” Ron says.

Zita smiles.

“I’m so sorry.” Amy says. “I hurt the poor monkeys and now I can’t change them back.”

“Why not?” Ron asks.

“I’d need a state-of-the-art genetics lab for that.”

“I think I can help with that.” Gil says. “VIN, call my dad.”

“Calling Dr. Lurkin.” VIN says. “Also, the monkeys are eating Ron’s left overs.”

“Aww! I was looking forward to those!”

“We’ll get you some new food.” Zita says. “After carrying you guys on my back, I’m going to be tired and starving.”

“Same.” Gil says. “Shapeshifting really makes you hungry.”

“I’m very curious as to how you’re able to do that.” Amy says. “Is it a genetic power?”

“You can ask my dad.” Gil says. “He’s a geneticist who’s been treating me since before I even had that power.”

“He sounds amazing.” Amy sighs dreamily.

“He is.” Gil says proudly.

I know that look. I should probably warn Gil that she’s going to be trying to be his mother soon.

Chapter Text

“The good news is we got the monkeys back to normal.” Ron says. “They’ve chosen to live in my treehouse for now, which has prompted my dad to get some of his friends to help upgrade it. It’s safer, sturdier, and warmer. Hana’s going to have an awesome treehouse growing up like I did.”

“The bad news is Amy and my father were smitten with each other as soon as they met.” Gil says. “They’re already talking about collaborating, and I don’t know if that’s a euphemism or if they’re actually going to work on a scientific project together.”

“At least that means she’s probably done being a villain.” Zita says.

“We hope.” Ron says.

“So, Ron, what did you do with Monkey Fist?” Gil asks.

“Yori called Hirotaka to have him transported to Yamanouchi.” Ron says. “He should be well-guarded there. And serve as a lesson in what happens when you desire power above all else.”

“Well, I’m glad we wrapped that up.” Gil says. “We still have a lot of budget stuff to go over.”

“Before we do,” Ron says, “I have something for you.”

Ron hands him a smartphone.

“Uh…thanks?” Gil says. “But I already have a phone.”

“It’s a badge actually.” Ron says. “It lets government agencies know that you’re part of the Unstoppables.”

“You want me to join your team of superheroes?” Gil asks. “After everything I’ve done to you?”

“Gil, in the past three months, you’ve helped me out twice.” Ron says. “And you weren’t expecting a reward or even recognition for it. You’re not the same person who tried to mutate everyone; you’ve grown a lot since then and you’ve shown it. You are a hero. And there’s a place for you on our team if you want it.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Say yes.” Zita says. At Gil’s look of confusion, Zita continues. “Look, I’d still be freaking out if it weren’t for you. You were the real MVP of that mission, and our team could use someone like you on it.”

“You came up with a great plan.” Gil says. “And thought of changes on the fly when it didn’t work. I think you were the MVP.”

“You were both MVPs.” Ron says. “But we do need an answer.”

“I guess I’ll join.” Gil says. “But I don’t want it to interfere with school too much.”

“Global Justice is perfectly willing to work around your class schedule.” Ron says. “And, yes, they already know I’m extending an offer for you to join.”

“I guess I’m a hero now.”

“Gil, you already were.”

Gil looks like he’s trying not to cry.

“I still don’t understand how you weren’t scared of los monstruos.” Zita says.

“Well, for starters, they weren’t actual monsters.” Gil says. “And even before I was mutated, I never feared monsters. I always thought they were cool.”

“That sounds right.” Ron says.

***

“I do agree that his shapeshifting powers hold a lot of capabilities.” Dr. Corey Lurkin says. “But we can’t actually do anything with it.”

“Why not?” Dr. Amy Hall asks. “Did he not agree to harvesting his DNA for experimentation?”

“No, he did.” Dr. Lurkin says. “But his DNA is just normal DNA. I’ve examined it many, many times. Whatever’s causing his powers, we can’t find.”

“So, whatever is allowing him to do that, it’s not genetic?” Amy asks. “Wasn’t it a result of a previous mutation?”

“That’s what we thought, but his DNA is 100% human. The previous mutation is completely gone. His powers are caused by something else.”

“It must be mystical.”

“You think?”

“Well, I have a bit of experience, though I’m far from an expert.” Amy explains. “But there have been stories of people with magic shapeshifting powers. I guess our…uh, your son is one of them.”

“Could be. But we’re scientists, so we should run some more tests and do more research to be sure.”

“Of course! And then, afterwards, we could have a nice dinner?”

“It’s like you’re reading my mind.”

“Oh, Corey! If I had known you were waiting for me, I would have given up villainy ages ago!”

“Monty Fiske didn’t deserve you.”

“You’re so sweet!”

I just hope I can deserve you.