Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Naruto was late. 

He was late most mornings—a habit Shikamaru called troublesome—but it was only ever ten minutes at the most. Okay. Maybe twenty on a bad morning.

Today was fine, he thought absentmindedly as he shoved the last of his stuff in his pockets and jogged down the stairs of his apartment. It had just taken him longer than he expected to find the right shoes and brush his teeth and also eat something before he headed out the door to the Hokage tower. It was fine, and that was the problem.

For a while now, every day was just…fine.

Naruto dodged a swarm of birds as he sprinted across the rooftops, taking his usual route. He may or may not have stopped to say hello to a friendly neighborhood cat or let himself be dragged to a halt by an elderly woman who pinched his cheeks and gave him a tin of cookies, but that was for him to know and Shikamura to gripe about later. 

Though his days were unique and eventful as ever, with missions and his friends getting together two or three times a week (that reminded him, he promised Sakura-chan he’d swing by the hospital for lunch), it was all starting to, well, run together. 

He found himself bored and restless most evenings and his only outlet was complaining to Sakura or Shikamaru or training with Kiba and Lee. Recently, he’d taken to wandering around at night, trying to find something to ease the jittery-feeling that he was supposed to be doing something. 

There was only one thing he really looked forward to—Ah.

A familiar friend settled on his shoulder as he came to a stop in front of the tower. Yuna nipped playfully at his ear, the burgundy feathered messenger hawk cawing a hello.

“Good morning to you too,” he smiled at her and ruffled the feathers on top of her head. Yuna leaned into the touch, and he laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I do have something for you.”

Naruto pulled a letter from his pocket before undoing the traveling tube on Yuna’s back. He took the letter inside out and stored his own in the compartment. With a few more strokes—her feathers were so soft—he gave her the last bit of his breakfast bar (which was also in his pocket because she always came on Thursdays and was much more likely to deliver his letter by Friday if he gave her a treat) and strapped the tube back onto her back. 

“I’ve got to go in,” he said reluctantly when she cocked her head, seemingly asking for another treat. “Shikamaru is going to kill me. I’m already late because I stayed up so late writing that letter!”

Yuna bit at him and he shrugged her off good-naturedly, watching her take to the sky with a wistful expression. She was almost as temperamental as her master. Almost.

Sasuke had been gone from the village for two and a half years now. Journey of atonement and all that. 

He wrote, sometimes once a week and sometimes once a month. Naruto sent him letters whenever he felt like it, because he could. Because two weeks after Sasuke had left and Naruto had demanded he at least write, Yuna had shown up at Naruto’s apartment Thursday morning with a three sentence letter.

I’d rather report to you than Kakashi anyway. In Earth country, repairing houses damaged in the war. There are no ramen stands here. 

- S

How Sasuke knew that would have been Naruto’s first question (without hesitation, he required any news of good ramen Sasuke found to this day) was beyond him. So Naruto wrote back. His letters were usually much longer than Sasuke’s and sounded like a trip inside his head, which was a terrifying-never-ending place if you were trying to put it down on paper, but Sasuke never complained. Unless Naruto rambled about something stupid for too long. Sasuke knew there was something he wasn’t saying when he did that. 

He’d probably think something similar to the last letter Naruto had just sent.

For weeks now, maybe even months, the Sasuke shaped hole in his life had grown more daunting. Bigger, like Naruto was seriously acknowledging the possibility that it might always remain that—a hole.

What if Sasuke didn’t want to come back? What if he didn’t want to stay in one place ever again? It wasn’t like he had a great record to go from, and Naruto understood that. He did. It just got…lonely, sometimes. Even with Sakura-chan and his friends. None of them had ever understood him quite like Sasuke. 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru came to stop beside him and stared up at Yuna’s disappearing figure. “You’re lucky Temari had a few extra minutes at breakfast or you would be late.”

“Already thought I was,” he said mindlessly, still thinking about Sasuke, and Shikamaru sighed. 

“Read that before you come in, please. I don’t want you staring at it through the whole session.”

“Cool,” Naruto shook his head slightly to snap himself out of it, and then gave Shikamaru a bright grin, “Yes. Yeah. I can do that. See ya in there.”

After a beat passed, he called out to Shikamaru, who was disappearing into the tower, “And tell Hokage-sama that he owes me ramen tonight!”

The sound of Shikamaru’s disgruntled reply was too mumbled for Naruto to hear. He laughed to himself, and then opened Sasuke’s letter. 

Naruto,

I am at the edge of Fire Country. 

What? Naruto held the paper tighter, and reread the first line. In Fire Country? Was he—was he coming home?

I’ve discovered some interesting intel concerning Amegakure’s new leadership that I’m sure the Hokage will want to act on. As for your question, about living somewhere, I haven’t really given it thought. I’d like somewhere quiet, I think. Somewhere I could see the stars.

See you in two days.

Sasuke. 

Naruto blinked, and then promptly jumped onto the side of the building and took off, expelling chakra through his feet excitedly as he flew up the tower and through the Hokage’s window. 

“KAKASHI-SENSEI,” he half screamed, half bellowed as he tore through the room. 

In his excitement, Naruto missed Kakashi falling out of his chair in bewilderment and Shikamaru jerking backwards so hard at the ball of orange that had burst through the window that he spilled the coffee he had been drinking down his chin and shirt.

“Naruto,” Shikamaru said his name like it was a curse and a sigh at the same time, but didn’t get any further than that because Naruto was literally bouncing up and down.

“Sasuke is coming home! He said he’d be here in two days and that he has information on Amegakure. Man,” Naruto was barely managing not to go into Sage mode, he was radiating so much chakra, he felt like he could burst, “that bastard always has perfect timing. You guys were just complaining about not knowing what was going on in Ame!” 

“It’s going to be pointless trying to discuss anything else with him all day now,” Kakashi said offhandedly to Shikamaru, who was now pulling at his shirt in a mixture of distress and annoyance. “Might as well go home and change that shirt.”

“Hey!” Naruto didn’t dispute it any further than that; Kakashi was definitely right. He stopped his bouncing to give Shikamaru a quizzical look. “Gee, Shika, watch where you’re drinking next time.”

The glare he received in return was enough for him to drop it and turn back to Kakashi, who was now firmly back in his chair. 

“While that’s wonderful news, I need you to sit down and finalize the Academy teams, Naruto,” Kakashi had that annoyed, knowing look on his face, “at least the first half before you go shouting across the rooftops that Sasuke is returning.” 

Naruto had grown enough—he was almost nineteen, ya know!—to realize when people were teasing him about his quote-on-quote obsession with Sasuke. He didn’t think he was obsessed. He just missed his best friend, who he had dedicated years of his life to—

Naruto decided to pause that train of thought, and rolled his eyes at his sensei’s comment instead, ignoring the heat rising on the back of his neck. “I wasn’t going to go shouting it from the rooftops,” he sassed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Run straight to the hospital and tell everyone you saw on the way to Sakura-chan, is more like it,” Shikamaru muttered under his breath while he dabbed napkins at the stain on his shirt. 

Naruto tuned him out, and whined, “Do I really have to finish the first half before I go?”

“Yes,” both Kakashi and Shikamaru said at the same time. 

“Fine,” he huffed, and then body flickered away.

“How much do you want to bet that every single one of those reports is illegible?” Shikamaru said to the Hokage, throwing the napkins in the direction of the trash. 

“I learned a long time ago not to bet on anything concerning Naruto,” Kakashi replied smartly. 

“Maa,” Shikamaru groaned, leaning back in his chair and staring down at his shirt, “so annoying. Temari bought this shirt for me.”

Kakashi made a strange noise behind his mask that almost sounded like laughter. “So I take it you’re not going home to change?”

“Hell no.”

Sakura’s reaction was not what he expected it to be.

“Oh,” she’d said, with her hand glowing green and halfway through a patient’s chest, “okay.” 

“Okay?” Naruto had parroted back her, and she had sighed. It was one of her long sighs, which usually meant he stopped pressing unless he wanted to be punched through a few walls. Or a few feet into the ground. 

“It will be good to see him.”

She hadn’t said anything else before she was rushed off to another surgery.

Naruto knew that Sasuke was a bit of a taboo subject with her since he had rejected her offer to come with him—once at the gates when Sasuke had first left, and then again, when Sakura had finally worked up the nerve to send him a letter a year ago—but he thought, well, it didn’t really matter what he thought. Sasuke had hurt Sakura just as much as he had Naruto when he left. 

The only difference was, Sasuke wrote to Naruto. They had talked about their shit, at the Valley of the End, after they’d taken each other’s arms. He guessed Sakura didn’t have that—what did Ino call it?—right, closure. 

At the present, Naruto was laying on the roof of his apartment building, arms crossed behind his head and staring up at the stars. They weren’t very visible, thanks to the swarming lights of Konoha below. After Nagato’s attack, which hadn’t leveled his part of the city because it was so far from the center, what had been left had become the starting point for rebuilding. 

He hadn’t been able to sleep, or really do anything other than think about Sasuke, since he’d gotten the letter. His mind wouldn’t shut up. How long would he stay? Would he even stop by Naruto’s apartment? Why would he? Did Naruto want him to? Would he fix things with Sakura-chan? 

The last thought left a sour feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He knew he shouldn’t, out of loyalty to Sakura, but he didn’t think they went well together at all. Sasuke had tried to kill her. 

Darker still, something he hated but wouldn’t let himself hate her for— she had tried to kill Sasuke. 

Surely there were other people out there, that would make them happier? It was not hard to picture Sakura happy with someone else, someone calm and patient and kind. Maybe someone who was not a shinobi. Naruto thought that might be good for her, to have someone normal to come home to, someone that would remind her of the stability of the home she grew up in. 

It was harder for Naruto to picture what, or who, would work for Sasuke. He had been alone for so much of his life and was so selective about who he allowed to be there for him that Naruto didn’t have the first idea of what kind of person might make him happy for the rest of his life. 

It was even harder when he tried to picture it for himself. 

He let out a long breath and watched it fog in the cool air. Konoha was in late winter, so close to early spring he could smell the cherry blossoms on the night wind. Naruto didn’t stop to think about things; that was his trademark. He decided, and did it. He was on track to become Hokage, and it was his dream. To be acknowledged, to make the village better for kids like himself and Sasuke. To show them that he could. But with peace, he had found himself…thinking. 

What did happiness look like for him? Sure, he had his plants, but there was only so much space in his two bedroom apartment ( finally, they had upgraded him from that tiny flat). What if he wanted someone to come home to? Or live somewhere—his breath caught in his throat. 

It was no use. Naruto was unable to think of anything else once the thought had crossed his mind.

What if he wanted to live somewhere he could see the stars? Somewhere quiet.

Somewhere Sasuke would visit. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke Uchiha rarely had dreams. 

Sleep avoided him most nights, but when it did welcome him it was often with dark and greedy arms that spiraled and bled maroon and black. The Mangekyo did not let him forget, not even in sleep. Sometimes, if the gods took pity on him, he did not remember. 

But sometimes, he dreamed. Sasuke knew that most of his dreams stemmed from memory, but the lines between reality and imagination blurred, blissidly. Tonight, he had been granted a memory that did not hurt—not like the others, at least.

He was standing, hunched, freshly acquired Sharingan spinning as the world went white. There were needles in his stomach, his shoulders. Naruto was on the ground behind him, asking why? and he felt his mouth move, saying, I don’t know, when all of his thoughts were eclipsed by memories of Naruto.

Naruto, yelling nonsense and flinging his hands everywhere—like he always did when he spoke. Naruto, looking downright delighted with himself every time he got anything right, pulling Sasuke up, taking Sasuke’s hand, saying his name over and over again, following him everywhere. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Naruto kissing him, and wanting to kill him and maybe himself after it had happened in front of the whole class. Naruto and his stupid dream that he never gave up on.

It was a rush, the same one that had flooded his veins when his Sharingan had awakened to track Haku’s movements because he had to protect Naruto. He felt it every time he saw the color orange, or heard that obnoxiously loud laughter, or caught a glimpse of his bright blonde hair. What he thought was hatred had been…something else entirely. 

When he looked down again, there were no needles in his chest.

He was no longer twelve and angry, and the Naruto that had appeared in front of him was the same one he had left two years ago. Tall, accomplished, impossibly blue-eyed. Confident, in a way he had never been when they were children. 

The feeling in Sasuke’s chest was the same. 

Sasuke shot awake from his bedroll, blood red eyes pinwheeling in the darkness. 

Haggardly, he drug a hand over his face as he let his Sharingan fade, and sighed. 

Well, he thought begrudgingly, at least he’d managed a few hours of sleep. He needed it, considering he was only a few hours from Konoha and he had a feeling that Naruto would be glued to his side the moment he returned. The thought lifted a corner of his mouth. Just like old times, then. 

He disregarded the voice that insisted it would not be, and picked himself up. Gathering his things was simple; he rolled up his bedroll and threw his cloak over himself, his katana sheathed at his side. Sasuke didn’t like to travel heavy. It was impractical, and the storage scrolls inside his cloak carried everything necessary for survival. 

The road to Konoha was worn by travelers, but Sasuke moved alone in the hours before dawn. He drew less attention when he traveled by dark. Not that he was noticed much at all these days—only other ninja seemed to recognize him for who he was. Sasuke didn’t mind. 

It was freeing, in a way, not being the last Uchiha in someone’s eyes. Just being…Sasuke. Whatever that meant. He rolled his eyes at himself, forgoing anymore reflections, and drew his cloak tighter.

The soft hues of dawn had flushed the sky a rosy blue when Sasuke came to a stop at the gate encircling Konohagakure. He hadn’t meant to, but by habit he’d kept his chakra signature so low even a sensory nin wouldn’t have been able to detect him. 

Probably why he hadn’t been greeted by Naruto by now. 

Sasuke wondered, staring up at the Hidden Leaf symbol engraved into the gate, if he really was ready to return. Even if helping civilians rebuild after the war had soothed so much of the volatile rage that he had succumbed to for the better part of his teenage years, Sasuke knew he would never forgive Konoha. It was a bold choice, to wake up one day and decide to face his issues with the village head on, but he had never been one to shy away from what must be done. 

It doesn’t have to be permanent , he reminded himself. He had been reinstated after his first year—with promotion to Jonin status to complete the missions Kakashi sent him through Naruto. He could always take a mission, if he became…unstable again. 

Annoying. Do you hear yourself? His inner critic was brutal. It sounded so much like his father that he was trying his best to balance it out with something kind or logical. Something that Itachi or his mother would say. It’s okay if you can’t forgive them. That would be Itachi. 

It is most important you forgive yourself, Sasuke. Soft and firm. Unyielding. 

His throat clenched, and then he thought, Fuck this. 

He was still working on it, after all. 

The guards didn’t notice as a shadow slipped up and over the wall, and even the Anbu on duty missed the figure that slid into Konoha unnoticed. Sasuke didn’t need to focus to find what he was looking for—he’d felt Naruto’s chakra since he crossed over the country line. It was unmistakable, as familiar to him as his own, but buoyant and bright. Like the feeling of wind brushing through a canopy of trees and the sunlight that spilled through them. 

Sasuke had opened Naruto’s window and dipped inside before he had even realized he’d made the conscious decision to come to his friend’s house before reporting to Kakashi. Once he was inside, he kind of just—stood there. 

All at once, a quiet exhaustion hit him in his bones.

The dawn had illuminated the small apartment in shades of pink and red. There was a burnt orange couch and a matching loveseat facing a bookshelf that was littered with trinkets and books, mostly history and manga. The second thing he noticed was that there was an absurd amount of plants. They were everywhere. On the floor, on the windowsills, all over the kitchen counter. Cacti and pothos and one with a vibrant, rich red inner leaf surrounded by a dark green border. Sasuke couldn’t even begin to name all of them. 

The rug beneath his feet was practical, a nice shade of beige, but the framed wall of posters mainly consisting of ramen behind the couch was not. Clothes were littered throughout the apartment, along with glassware. A sock, a bright orange hoodie draped over one of the two chairs at the table crammed into the kitchen corner. It smelled of lemons and earth, like the world just after it had rained. It was so Naruto that it made Sasuke’s chest ache. 

What was he doing here? Was he going to wake Naruto up and say—what, exactly? Sasuke knew he was being dramatic. Naruto would punch him in the face if he heard him. Sasuke could imagine his reply now, raspy and irritated. Of course he was welcome here. He’d said as much, in his letters. He’d said more than that, Sasuke knew. 

The last one was burning a hole in the storage scroll in his pocket.

He would wait. If he had learned anything about himself in the last two years, it was that he could be patient. Sometimes it was more difficult than others, but he would take a step back and imagine it as a mission. He prided himself on his timing, and that meant having the patience to ensure it would be correct. 

This was no different. Naruto would be awake soon. Sasuke would obsess over what the fuck he was going to say to him figure it out later. 

Naruto’s chakra was almost suffocating after so long without its rolling presence, like standing on the edge of a cliff and having nothing but the wind holding you upright. It blocked everything else out. 

Sasuke caught his body relaxing, the muscles in his back unclenching, the predatory awareness that coiled in his palms falling away. He let it. He’d been trying to lean into that—letting the tension go when his body said it was safe to. He tried not to think about the fact that it was Naruto’s chakra that comforted him. 

“Sasuke?”

He twisted, toward the hallway he had skimmed over, and there he was. 

Naruto was standing barefooted between the living room and kitchen, his blonde hair rumpled and sticking out in several directions, dressed in a pair of orange ramen pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. His eyes were crystalline and shining with hope. Fear, too. The expression on his face was so—so—Sasuke swallowed at the sight of him.

“Naruto.” 

His name slipped out without Sasuke’s permission, and it felt like an admission. Because he said it for no other reason than he wanted to, because he had thought of him incessantly the entire time he was gone. Because Naruto was here now, standing in front of him, looking taller and so striking that it took the air from his lungs. Looking like Sasuke was the last thing he had been expecting to see.

“What kind of idiot sleeps with their windows unlocked?”

The laugh that came from Naruto was gargled, and then Sasuke was being rocked backward by a bone crushing embrace. His arms were strong, wrapped entirely around Sasuke, and Sasuke felt his pulse jump, unused to such intimate contact. How long had it been since someone had held him like this?

“The me-kind, you bastard,” Naruto’s words were muffled by Sasuke’s cloak.

Somewhere in his shock, Sasuke remembered he was supposed to reciprocate. His arm reached up and clasped Naruto’s shoulder, steadying himself among the waves of emotion that threatened to drown him. He wanted to laugh at the predictability of it—he had been spiraling over what to say and now he was being squeezed to death. 

Naruto was cold and pressed to every inch of Sasuke. His forehead thudded against Sasuke’s collarbones, sending vibrations down to his ribs. “I didn’t know if you were real at first,” he admitted, so low Sasuke almost didn’t hear him. 

“What gave me away?”

Naruto’s grip on him tightened, but only for a second before it loosened and he pulled away. Sasuke felt the loss keenly.

“Calling me an idiot,” the grin that spread across Naruto’s face was like faith, full and rich. Stunning. It made Sasuke want to fall to his knees. Or Chidori him and run until he couldn’t look back even if he tried. That, he knew from experience, would be pointless.

 His lips curved, only ever so slightly, in return. 

“You are one.”

“Shut up!” Naruto’s eyes were already flashing, happy and challenging, but there was no real bite to his words.

He didn’t respond. Sasuke was suspended in time, watching the sunlight wash over Naruto. His hair was longer, more like his father’s, and had softened into a buttery color that complimented the golden tone of his skin. And golden he was, drenched in the warmth pouring through his windows, watching Sasuke with the same intensity. 

“I missed you, ya know,” he looked up at Sasuke, just half an inch of difference now, through his lashes, and Sasuke couldn’t breathe. 

He forced himself to. 

“Hn.”

The feelings that he usually kept filed away had been ripped out and scattered, sprawled out inside him in a tangled mess. He blamed Naruto. It was always Naruto. 

“Can I stay with you?”

Chapter Text

He had already made the hand sign to dispel a genjutsu behind his back twice. 

Naturo didn’t know what he had been expecting—for Sasuke to go up in a cloud of smoke, maybe?—but it certainly wasn’t the boy who was still standing in front of him, very real and very—he was so pretty —no, he didn’t think that—stupid bastard.

Sasuke had hugged him back. Sasuke was standing in front of him, in his apartment, and had hugged him back.

The novelty of it felt like the adrenaline rush he got after he mastered a new jutsu. Only the feeling didn’t fade like it usually did, because even though they had talked and hung out in the six months of recovery before Sasuke had left, Naruto had never really stopped missing Sasuke . Sometimes, it felt like he had spent more of his life missing Sasuke than actually knowing him. 

“Um,” he was staring, he knew it. Shit. 

Sasuke was watching him, waiting for his answer. 

His hair covered his Rinnegan, the upwards slant of his obsidian eye smudged with fondness and exhaustion. His cloak was draped over his shoulders, which were broader than Naruto remembered. The rising sun was at his back, collecting around him and painting him in pale, glowing light, like he was some kind of god. Why did his hair always have to look so perfect, even after traveling for two days straight? Twelve year old Naruto would have been pissed off, sixteen year old Naruto had been stunned stupid, at nineteen, he was—why was he thinking about how good Sasuke looked and what the fuck, was he starting to blush? No way. Nope.

Naruto panicked and, naturally, did what he did best: put his foot directly in his mouth. 

“Yes! Sorry, I was just thinking you look good—I mean, you look different, older, I guess because you are older. But of course you can stay here! I have a guest room! How long are you staying? Actually, don’t answer that, you don’t have to tell me—”

Sasuke interrupted him, his mouth twitching upwards in amusement. “Usuratonkachi. The guest room will be fine.”

Naruto grinned, warmth unfurling in his chest all the way down to his toes. It had been so long since he’d heard that voice, so low and rumbling. No one else ever called him that, or looked at him quite like Sasuke did. 

He resisted the urge to lunge forward and wrap himself around Sasuke again, rocking back on his heels happily. This was awesome! He and Sasuke would get to spend so much more time together if he stayed here, they could even go to Ichiraku and maybe see Iruka-sensei–

“Cool!” 

They stood there, Naruto’s thoughts a jumbled mess of everything they could possibly do together before he left, until the corners of Sasuke’s mouth turned down in an attempt to suppress a smile. “Are you going to show it to me or just keep staring, dobe?”

This time he did flush, his neck and cheeks turning scarlet. “Asshole. Shut up. I wasn’t staring, and yes, bastard, I’ll show you the room.”

He marched down the hall to the door on his right. Sasuke trailed after him, a flash of lilac beneath his dark hair sending a thrill down Naruto’s spine. He was really here.

“This is yours,” he opened the door but didn’t go in, gesturing behind Sasuke to the other door on the opposite end of the hall, “that one’s mine.” 

Sasuke swept past him, the scent of smoke and amber lingering in the air after he entered the guest room. The room was small, but Naruto had painted the walls a deep navy on one of his days off and bought a small mattress that had matching navy sheets. Iruka had given him a dresser and a nightstand made from the same rich, warm wood that Naruto favored, and since he’d already bought furniture for his own room, he’d placed them in the guest room. 

None of this, however, was what had caught Sasuke’s attention. 

That would have been the tattered Uchiha fan that was sitting propped up a shelf above the dresser, along with an intricately carved wooden incense stand. Naruto had bought the incense stand in the Land of Waves on his last mission there. It was a snarling dragon, fierce and wild in its untamable nature, with its leath body twisted in loops and its fanged mouth parted in a snarl. It had immediately reminded him of Sasuke.

“Where did you find that?” 

Naruto winced at the sharpness in Sasuke’s tone, but just shrugged. “Sometimes,” when I can’t sleep at night , “I walk through what’s left of the Uchiha compound. I found it there. Figured, I don’t know,” he lifted a shoulder, feeling awkward now, “you might want it.”

“Hm,” Sasuke hummed in the bottom of his throat, still staring at the fan. The line of tension had fallen from his shoulders. “I do. You didn’t have to do all of this.”

At that, Naruto scoffed. “Don’t mention it. I wanted to. Plus, you need a place to stay when you come back or visit, or whatever this is.”

“And you decided all by yourself that I would stay with you?

“Hey! Be a little more grateful, would you?” Naruto crossed his arms over his chest even though Sasuke wasn’t looking at him, “You’re the one that came to me.”

A small laugh rumbled from Sasuke at that, and he turned with that stupidly-attractive smirk that always rendered Naruto’s brain useless for the first three seconds after seeing it. “You’re right. Thank you, Naruto.”

They had written to each other often in the last couple of years and while the words weren’t a foreign concept between them, Naturo did a double take. He didn’t think—it had been a long time since Sasuke had said something so normal to his face. There had been a part of him that wondered if they would return to the stiff awkwardness from before Sasuke had left on his atonement journey. He was glad that they hadn’t. 

“Hey, you’re welcome,” he said sheepishly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, suddenly looking anywhere but those eyes that were reading him like he was an open book. “I guess you’ve gotta report to Kakashi-sensei, eh? I’ll get out of your hair and let you settle in, but whenever you’re done we should grab a bite to eat. Or I can make us something here—whatever works for you.”

Sasuke pulled a storage scroll from inside of his cloak and tossed it onto the bed, offering Naruto another faint smile. “That sounds good.”

Naruto felt himself smiling back on reflex, and he knew his eyes were probably too intense but he just couldn’t believe it. He’d always known Sasuke was good looking but damn, when he smiled at him like that—

“So, yeah. Bathroom is between our rooms, uh, I’ve got to get ready for a meeting with Shika. I’ll see you later?”

That look had returned to Sasuke’s face, the one Naruto had never seen before. It was so soft , so different from the pain and rage he was used to seeing contort his friend’s sweeping, angular features. 

“I’ll see you,” he confirmed, and Naruto nodded to himself and then turned to leave. 

Halfway through his step, he was struck in the chest by an ache that was dangerously close to panic. It felt like a nail being hammered straight through his heart, snapping his ribs into splinters.

 If he turned around, would he still be there?

Naruto let out a small breath, fighting down the feeling, and looked back over his shoulder to watch the other boy glance up at him, caught off guard by his last minute words.

“You know, Sasuke,” he said seriously, “I know you probably won’t stay long and I know Konoha hasn’t been home for you in a while, but I just—” 

Sasuke was staring at him, frozen in the motion of running a hand through his hair, his mismatched coal black and lavender eyes wide and shining with an emotion Naruto couldn’t place. He looked so much like his younger self that Naruto couldn’t help but smile.

He was here. Not halfway across the world, not somewhere where Naruto couldn’t reach him. 

“I’ll always keep a room for you.”

After collapsing on his bed and staring blankly up at his ceiling, he decided that he had definitely just run away after saying some of the dumbest shit in his life. Naruto rolled over and groaned into his pillow. He didn’t even have to meet Shika until two today, which had left him plenty of time to ruminate on his own idiocy. 

What had he been thinking? Like Sasuke didn’t already know he could stay here. Naruto had babbled about it for two years, obviously hinting at the fact that he wanted Sasuke to stay with him when he did visit the village. Not to mention that he had literally hunted him to the end of the world— fuck. Was he really as obsessed as everyone said he was? 

A deep, thunderous laugh started in the back of his head and Naruto rolled his eyes as Kurma made his presence known. 

Kit, if you’re not obsessed with the Uchiha, I’m not a chakra demon. 

“But you are a chakra demon,” Naruto said automatically, and then registered what the fox had said. “Hey! That’s not true.” 

He closed his eyes to meet Kurama in his mindspace with a defiant frown. 

The fox was casually licking one of his paws, his nine-tails fanning out behind him and waving in a way Naruto knew meant he was in a good mood. 

“What makes you think I’m obsessed with Sasuke,” he demanded, stepping up to the fox’s snout menacingly. He was getting tired of everyone saying that and it was embarrassing now that Sasuke was actually back. 

Kurama didn’t even flinch. His massive, blood red eyes narrowed in amusement as he stopped what he was doing to give Naruto a once over. 

Oh, I don’t know, maybe being sealed in your body. Do you hear your own thoughts? If I had a person to eat for every ‘I wonder where Sasuke is’ or ‘Sasuke would like this’ or ‘Sasuke would hate that’, I’d be the fattest tailed-beast to ever exist!

“You’re already the fattest tailed-best to exist,” Naruto sniped back, crossing his arms unhappily. He didn’t like when Kurama teased him about Sasuke. It was always too accurate. 

No need to be nasty, Naruto. Kurama flashed his teeth at him in a wide smile. It still kind of gave Naruto an uneasy feeling when he smiled like that, even if the fox was his friend. It looked creepy as hell.

You’re the one who asked. I was merely answering your question.

“Oh, so now you answer my questions? What happened to you not knowing everything and getting annoyed when I ask you chakra questions?”

That’s different, Kurama said simply, going back to cleaning himself. 

“How?” Naruto flailed his hands in exasperation. “How is that different?”

Because anyone with eyes can see you falling all over yourself every time the Uchiha is mentioned, let alone how numbskulled you get when he looks at you. You are not a subtle person. Do I need to mention that I can feel your feelings?

He sputtered at that, his face going red, but the only thing that came out was gibberish, “IamnotobssessedwithSasuke—you’re not even a person , so how would you know, you–ugly–stupid fox!”

Kurama laughed at him again, and then rose to leave. You’re going to be late for your meeting with Shikamaru. 

Naruto came out of his mindspace still muttering to himself. He dressed quickly, a classic orange pants and black jacket over a mesh shirt combo. And if he completely ignored the urge to check if Sasuke had left before he headed out of the apartment and to the Hokage tower, it was not because of what Kurama had said. 

“No, Naruto,” Shikamaru’s head fell into his hands, and Naruto wasn’t sure if it was because he was exhausted or if he just couldn’t bring himself to look at Naruto without shadow-strangling him. “For the last time, we are not talking about statutes. We’re talking about common law.”

He wrinkled his nose, focusing long enough to ask, “There’s a difference?”

“You’re useless,” Shikamaru complained into his hands, “the second the Uchiha shows up, you become completely useless. I should have listened to the Hokage.”

“It’s not my fault you’re trying to keep me here,” Naruto leaned back in his chair, the front two legs coming off the ground, and pointed at the clock, “two hours after our meeting was supposed to end just to make sure I understood what you said.”

“Because you don’t understand it, I just asked—” Shikamaru stopped himself and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t get paid enough to do this. You know what, Naruto? Go have fun with Sasuke. We’ll pick this up after the weekend.” 

“Really?” Naruto dropped the pencil he had been restlessly thumping against the table.

Shikamaru didn’t bother responding, just waving him off with an irritated scowl before saying, “Don’t forget that you promised Sakura-chan you would be there tonight for her early birthday party. And make sure you bring the Uchiha.”

“You’re the best, Shika!” And with that, he made the sign for Flying Raijin and disappeared.

He reappeared in his kitchen half a second later to find Sasuke leaning against the counter, his back resting on the wooden countertop as he looked out the living room windows. 

The sight of his best friend casually relaxed in his apartment after not seeing him for years was enough to make all the noise in his brain go silent. Wow. Naruto hadn't expected to find him here, but what he really hadn't expected was for it to cause such a funny feeling in his chest.  

Sasuke smirked at his arrival but didn’t look at him. 

“Finally learned the Flying Raijin, did you?” 

Naruto made his way over to where Sasuke was standing and sat both his elbows on the counter, joining him in enjoying the view. Kohona really could be beautiful, sometimes. The sun was out today, the sky a good color of blue. All his plants were turned towards the rays coming in through the window greedily.  “Yeah, it was kinda difficult. Totally worth it, though.”

“Hm,” Sasuke’s eyes slid over to him, “something was difficult for Uzamaki Naruto? I don’t believe it.”

“Ha.” Naruto’s elbow knocked into Sasuke’s. “You’re so funny, mister sarcasm. At least I worked hard for my transportation jutsu. You just inherited your dumb swap-out one from that freaky eye."

Sasuke bristled at that, turning to face Naruto fully. “Inherited? Do you even know how long it took me not to drain all of my chakra reserves when using it?” 

“Tch, don’t take things so seriously, Sas’ke,” Naruto leaned forward and flicked the hair out of Sasuke’s face, his Rinnegan pale in the daylight. He didn’t miss the marginal widening of Sasuke’s eyes before they narrowed dangerously. 

“Plus,” Naruto said cheekily, grinning at his friend’s irritation, “if you had a lot of chakra like me–”

“As if I’d want anything of the sort,” Sasuke retorted, and then promptly kicked the back of his knee out from under him. Naruto went down hard, the back of his head smacking the counter as he yelped and crumpled to his knees. His hand came flying up to clutch his head, his eyes watering slightly as he looked up at Sasuke, who was smirking prettily down at him.

“What the hell–”

“Like I’d want to be a slow loser like you.”

“You’re going to regret that, Uchiha,” he growled, surging forward and wrapping his hands around Sasuke’s ankles. He jerked the bastard’s feet out from under him (before he could channel his Chidori down his body, thank you very much) and watched with extreme pleasure as Sasuke’s hand snaked out to snatch the counter but it only resulted in him swinging sideways and slamming his head against the underside of the counter.

“You shithead,” Sasuke started angrily, but Naruto was already laughing. 

“Oh, you should have seen your face! Fucking hilarious–”

The bottom of Sasuke’s shoe shut him up pretty quickly. “Okay, okay, asshole.” 

He couldn’t keep the grin off his face if he tried, but he stopped poking fun at the dark haired ninja and got to his feet. Naruto caught the smallest grin threatening the edges of Sasuke’s mouth, his dark eye warm with amusement as he hauled himself up with his grip on the counter. 

“So,” Naruto began clumsily, once they were both upright, “here’s the thing. I know I said I’d make us dinner or we could go grab something but I kinda forgot that I already promised Sakura-chan that I’d be at her birthday party tonight. She’s leaving for a mission next week and will be gone for her birthday and Ino-chan insisted on throwing her one early. It’s at that barbecue place, though, the really good one! And you could come with me!”

Sasuke schooled his (happy? Naruto thought it looked much better on him than the next one) expression into something cooler, looking like he’d rather swallow nails when he said, “Fine, usuratonkachi.” 

“Great!” Naruto beamed. “Barbecue it is!”

Chapter Text

Sasuke knew it was a bad idea to reunite with the Konoha Eleven. 

He was, as usual, silent aside from the usual head nods and casual hellos. There was nothing inherently wrong with any of them—besides Sai. The way he looked at Naruto was eerie, flat and doting at the same time. He had no idea how Ino managed it. Sasuke didn’t like him, never had. Not since he’d shown up at Orochimaru’s layer plastered to Naruto like some creepy lurker. Sasuke’s lip turned up in disgust at the memory, but he schooled his expression quickly.

There was the additional feeling that Shikamaru was analyzing his every move, which in equal parts pissed him off and impressed him. Leave it to a Nara to see straight through his carefully fabricated facade of disinterest just by his minute facial expressions. Sasuke wanted to sigh, watching the chaos unfold. Lee was on stage, singing karaoke with Sakura and Ino, looking like he had issued one of those idiotic self imposed challenges to go drink for drink with the two. 

He almost shuddered at the thought. He’d heard enough from Naruto to know that Sakura’s insane strength was not the only trait she’d picked up from the Fifth Hokage. 

The corner of his mouth turned down—another slip on his part—as he caught a glimpse of pink hair through the crowd. He hadn’t spoken to Sakura since he’d written to her a year ago. It had been a short, brief letter in which he told her that he appreciated her offer, and he did appreciate that she still had the capacity to forgive him, but he felt that he still needed time. There was also the glaring, obvious fact that he didn’t like her, not like she liked him—but he was trying to be kind. Trying was the key word there.

“Sasuke,” Naruto’s hand was wrapping around his bicep, saving pulling Sasuke away from a handshake with the dog-boy, “look, Sakura-chan is coming our way. I know you want to straighten things out with her, but maybe save it for tomorrow before she leaves?”

Sasuke turned his head slightly to look at him. His eyes really were incredibly blue. Naruto had pulled him so close that Sasuke’s movement brought their faces very close, his hand still lingering on Sasuke’s arm. He had been doing that a lot, the touching. 

Sasuke wasn’t sure it was entirely intentional; Naruto had always been grab first, think second. It was just unusual when Naruto wasn’t actively trying to bash his skull into the ground and drag him back to Konoha. Before he’d left, they’d always maintained such a strict distance between them aside from missions and…certain accidents Sasuke was not going to think about with him so close. 

“Tch,” he scoffed, eyes flickering over Naruto’s face. The whiskers were so obnoxious that it made him want to smile. He didn’t, though. “I wasn’t planning on it. It’s her birthday.”

“Oh,” Naruto said again, rather stupidly. A blank, glossy expression passed over his features when he realized how unnecessarily close they were. “Right.” 

Sheepishly, he let go of Sasuke and turned, looking a bit lost for a moment like he’d forgotten what he was doing before redirecting and flashing the widest grin Sasuke had ever seen. 

“Sakura-chan,” he crowed happily, flinging himself at the kunoichi who had just wriggled her way past the crowd that had come to greet Naruto. He tackled her midsection and, with all his usual tact, screamed into her ear, “HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!”

Sasuke smirked a bit as Sakura winced, already knowing the outcome. 

Drunkenly, she yelled back, “Naruto, that HURT,” and then proceeded to smack her free elbow down on top of his head. Naruto let go immediately, and didn’t even have a chance to complain before Sakura had thrown her arms around him. 

“But thank you, stupid!” She laughed, her sea green eyes crinkling in the corners. “Now come get a drink with me!”

It was here that Sasuke remembered himself. 

“Sakura,” he said, waiting for her to see him. Her eyes lifted to his and guttered. It was just half a second, barely anything at all, before she was stepping out of her embrace with Naruto and smiling up at him. He did his best not to move away.

“Sasuke!” His name in her voice, so bright, was a kunai to his heart. It made him so nostalgic that he wanted to vomit. The issue with Sakura was never that he hadn’t loved her. He…had. He did. It was that he would never be in love with her. 

She was one of the two beacons of his childhood, a softer, gentler presence than Naruto in the way she loved him, and he’d often found himself wishing they could be friends again. There was just the gaping chasm of her unrequited feelings between them—and the fact that he would have killed her if not for Naruto. 

Sasuke refrained from letting that thought show on his face when he said evenly, “Happy early birthday.”

Her smile wobbled and her eyes went a bit watery, but happiness bloomed behind her eyes. Then she was hugging him the same way she had hugged Naruto—drunkenly. 

“I’ve missed you, psycho. Not too busy avenging to come say hi once in a while, eh?”

To his relief, she let go just as quickly, so Sasuke didn’t have to hug her back. He relaxed a bit when he heard Naruto snicker at the nickname she’d given him. 

“I’m afraid I’ve left that life behind me,” he said dryly, not really knowing what was coming out of his mouth or what the fuck he was supposed to say next.

Which, apparently, was not a problem. 

Sakura roared at his answer, doubling over in a fit of laughter and slamming her hand down on his shoulder so hard that he flinched, and then promptly ran back in the general direction of Ino.

Sasuke lifted his arm to rub his shoulder, watching her go with a bit more lightness than when she’d first approached. She seemed like she was doing well. 

“She got you pretty good.”

Naruto was at his side with two drinks, one a dark liquor and the other a clear. His eyes had this knowing, amused look, that reminded Sasuke of the way sunlight looked underwater. The hole in his heart where Sakura’s voice had pierced stopped aching, and he wondered again at the idea that Naruto was the balm for most of his pain. Had it always been this way? It had. 

Sasuke took his hand from his shoulder, even if the motion made him want to grimace, and snatched the clear liquor from Naruto’s hand. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

That pried a laugh out of the blonde, the sentimental warmth dancing in his eyes fading into genuine enjoyment. The expression made the center of Sasuke’s chest fuzzy in a way he wasn’t accustomed to feeling so forcefully. 

He subtly looked away from Naruto, skimming the room. There was nowhere to escape too, much to his dismay. Unless he wanted to join the riveting argument that had commenced in front of him between Kiba and Shino, the Hyuga girl waving her hands in an attempt to settle the matter. Something about bugs or dogs as preferable ninja companions. Asinine. Cats were clearly the superior choice. 

“M’ gonna go play some darts with Shika and Choji,” Naruto grinned as he spoke, leaning in again to brush hand over Sasuke’s shoulder. “Wanna come?”

Something in Sasuke rebelled at the idea of following Naruto simply for ease, just as it always had. He smothered it with a long sip of his drink, observing the layout of the bar before he looked back to Naruto. “Sure.” 

They made their way over to the portion of the bar carved out for games and Sasuke and Naruto sat on a pair of stools at the corner of the bar while Choji and Shikamaru finished their game. Naruto draped his elbows over the bar, facing the game, and raised his glass with a devilish smirk. “Bottoms up?”

He gave Naruto an annoyed glare, but clanked his glass noisily against his friend’s and drank the remainder of his liquor. When he was finished, Sasuke set his glass down lightly on the counter, an eyebrow raised, “Satisfied?” 

“Hell no,” Naruto laughed, twisting in his seat to slam his glass down. He raised a three fingered wave to the bartender, singling for another round. “You promised we’d get drunk together when you got back. I have it in writing.”

He very much doubted that. “I agreed to drinks.”

“Yeah, as in plural,” Naruto didn’t miss a beat as he took the next two glasses and slid one Sasuke’s way. His smile was a little feral, his tone entirely challenging with his next line, “What? Are you afraid I might out-drink you?”

Sasuke felt his eye twitch against his better wishes. He knew he shouldn’t fall for it—they were adults— “In your dreams.”

“Pfft. Only one way to find out, then.” 

He really didn’t like the provocation shining in Naruto’s eyes. That determination that he would be right never failed to get under Sasuke’s skin. No one could be right about everything. And what could it hurt, if he drank? He was sure he’d had more experience with alcohol on the road than Naruto had here. 

“Fine,” he said, only half realizing that he was also entering an idiotic self-imposed challenge, too engulfed by Naruto’s presence to really do anything about it, “you’re on.” 

And with that, the night dissolved into debauchery. 

They were already four drinks in by the time Shikamaru and Choji finished their game, at which point Sasuke knew he was tipsy but continued with the fifth drink after he’d stood up from the bar to play and Naruto had reeled him in by his wrist, exclaiming that they would be a team against the other two ninjas. There had been no reason to bring Sasuke to his side, they had been perfectly close already. Sasuke had been both surprised and appalled at the buzzing rise of happiness (is that what it was?) that had flooded his chest and throat when Naruto had said they would be a team. 

Why did it hit him so viscerally, like a roundhouse kick to the lungs, every time Naruto declared his intent to be a part of Sasuke’s life? More than that, it was the small comments that had bled through his letters and just seemed to come out so naturally for him that did the most damage to Sasuke’s internal organs. The I miss yous, or the Sasuke, you make traveling sound so cool, I wish I could be there with you. It was the brazen, dauntless way Naruto showed the world that he wanted Sasuke. It had brought him back from the edge of a place with no redemption, and it brought him back now. 

Wincing at the train of his own thoughts, Sasuke shook his head. Too intense for a casual night out with friends. 

The world blurred a little as he watched Choji throw a dart and miss terribly. He wasn’t in much better shape than Naruto or Sasuke, giggling and pointing at the disappointment that marred Shikamaru’s face at his teammates’ marksmanship. They were almost finished with the game, and Sasuke wasn’t even sure who was winning. Or how many times Naruto had stolen his turn.

Naruto got up from his place beside Sasuke, finishing his drink in one smooth motion—great, that meant Sasuke had to finish his—and lined up with the dart board. At the last moment, his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth in sheer concentration, causing Sasuke to snort right as Naruto threw the dart.

The dart hit the very edge of the board and didn’t stick, clattering to the ground. Sasuke raised his glass, finishing his drink as Naruto whirled towards him with a pointed finger. 

“You!”

It never did take much to break Naruto’s concentration. 

Sasuke smirked in acknowledgement, lowering his glass to twirl it lazily in his fingers. “Me.”

A strange expression passed over Naruto’s features at his response and lingered there. 

If Sasuke had been clear headed, he would have tried to decipher it, but that was useless at the moment. Naruto didn’t move his eyes from Sasuke as he left his position in front of the dart board, coming to a halt just at the inside of Sasuke’s knees. His eyes were luminous, as if the blue was just stained glass and the real color lay behind his irises, bursting with light. 

Vaguely, somewhere in the back of his mind, Sasuke wondered if he was drunk.

Naruto pried Sasuke’s forearm off the bar, pulling his hand toward him and pressing the remaining two darts into his palm. Sasuke nearly shivered out of his skin when Naruto smiled at him, hands touching, the inside of Sasuke’s knees glancing the outside of his thighs. 

What the fuck, Sasuke thought hazily, repressing the startling urge to lean in closer and the burn that started up his body, is this?

“Here,” he released Sasuke’s hand but not his eyes, “you go for us, since you think you’re so much better, bastard.”

Ah. Sasuke closed his hand around the darts and rose languidly, discarding his empty glass on the countertop and sliding around Naruto. Easy enough. “Watch and learn, usuratonkachi.”

He hadn’t really focused on the board since they’d started playing. It wasn’t the purpose of the game to actually win. Sasuke had learned enough to know that the real purpose was to listen to Naruto and his friends' laughter, to hear the smart ass jokes Shikamaru was cracking to Choji and to enjoy them—but he could show Naruto focus , if that’s what the blonde wanted. Drunk or not. 

The first dart was a bullseye, earning a– “Naruto, did you really have to piss him off, now we’re going to lose–” from Shikamaru. The second one followed suit in rapid succession, and Sasuke laughed a bit at the groan Choji let out.

Sasuke didn’t even have the chance to respond before Naruto was crowding his space again with those fire-blue eyes. 

“Sasuke.” He decided then that he’d probably never get tired of hearing Naruto say his name like that—kind of breathless, awed. It made something in his blood electric. 

The rest of Naruto’s sentence was a bit slurred, “Whaddya say we get out of here and go back to my place? I think everyone’s leaving anyway, work tomorrow and all that but I have a stash.” A wink. “I swiped some bottles from Granny.”

Sasuke didn’t know what to say to that.

On cue, Shikamaru reached for his jacket. “Well, if that’s all–”

“Not so fast,” Naruto’s hand shot out to grab Sasuke’s arm as if to keep him there when he turned to say, “you owe us ramen tomorrow night! Like I’d let you walk out of here without confirming our bet!” Of course. Ramen. Sasuke stared blankly at the hand on his forearm. Us?

Shikamaru sighed before agreeing, and then was promptly dragged out by Choji, who said he had food waiting for him at home. 

“So?” The grip on his arm vanished.

Sasuke clicked his tongue. The habit had come back so quickly with Naruto around. 

“Dobe. I’m staying with you. Where else would I go?”

“Okay, smartass,” Naruto slung his arm over Sasuke’s shoulder, moving them towards the door. “Let’s get out of here before I get stuck saying goodbye for another hour.”

Sasuke let himself be manhandled out of the bar, but shrugged Naruto’s arm off once they were out in the cool air. The wind was a relief, soothing the blood pooling in his face from the alcohol. He took a long breath, then rolled his head over to Naruto to say, “Popular now, are you?” 

Sarcastic, but a genuine question. Naruto seemed so at home here, and welcomed. It was strange. Unsettling, but not in a terrible way. He was happy that Naruto had finally achieved the place in Konoha that he deserved. It was the least this shithole could do after everything it had taken from them.

“What,” Naruto flashed a fanged smile at Sasuke—did his fangs just come out randomly?—“You jealous? Think I’m a bit better suited to it than you were back at the Academy.”

“Hn,” Sasuke let his eyes fall half-lidded as he watched Naruto under the street lights. Naruto watched him back. “No,” he said after a beat of silence. 

And then, the godforsaken alcohol in him had to go and say, very matter-of-factly, “I have the only friend I need.”

Naruto’s mouth parted, his eyes going wide. A faint sheen of red dusted the tops of his cheekbones and he smiled again, but this one was different. It was slow, achingly so, and accompanied by a quiet, half-laugh and a duck of his head. Sasuke’s entire body felt hijacked at the sight—something rushing and beating flooded his senses and he was stuck staring at Naruto. Helpless to it. He had really…grown into himself. Sasuke’s heart clenched violently at the dangerous pace of his thoughts. 

“You always have me going with all your sarcastic and witty comments, but man, sometimes,” Naruto was still smiling that smile , looking down at his shoes, “sometimes you really take me by surprise, Sasuke.”

He needed him to stop looking like that. Or to sit down. Or to never drink again. None of that was what came out of his mouth. None of that was what Sasuke needed to know.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” Naruto shrugged and glanced up at him. Sasuke thought his hair looked like a halo. “It’s not a bad thing. Come on.”

They managed to walk back to Naruto’s place, Naruto’s shoulder bumping along his occasionally. When they arrived at Naruto’s door, Sasuke leaned heavily on the frame as he watched Naruto fumble for his keys, swearing under his breath while trying to unlock it. After about a minute, Sasuke swiped the keys from Naruto’s hands, pressing their sides together for an excruciatingly long second, and then he had the door open. 

He stepped back, swaying only slightly as he held the door for Naruto, who was looking at him with that funny look he’d had at the bar again. He’d frozen when Sasuke had stepped into his space, his eyes unfocused and yet rapt with something that Sasuke would almost liken to fixation. Well. Wouldn’t be the first time the idiot had some misplaced notion of idolization. It was oddly always reserved for Sasuke, though. And it should stay that way. No. No. That thought was supposed to be marked out, suppressed. Not swirling around his chest possessively. 

“Idiot. Get inside, it’s cold.”

His words roused Naruto from whatever daze he’d been in and Naruto said, “Heh, thanks,” and then filed inside. Sasuke shut the door behind him and remained awkwardly by the table as Naruto flitted around his kitchen, grabbing an expensive looking bottle and two glasses for them. 

“Go ahead and sit, bastard, we’ve got some catching up to do.”

Sasuke obeyed, pulling out the chair without the orange hoodie draped across it. The world was spinning just a little bit, in a way that had his senses sharpened and his blood running like there was going to be a fight soon. Who knew, with Naruto, maybe there would be. Did he want there to be? Sasuke rapped his fingers across the table top, forcing himself to look anywhere else but the blonde. No. No fighting.

“Alright,” Naruto threw himself into the opposite chair, pushing Sasuke another glass. He took it. “Tell me your favorite place you’ve been and why. Go.”

Sasuke’s eyebrows shot up at the unexpected demand, but he hummed in the back of his throat and decided to indulge his friend. “The coastal village I wrote to you about. There were only about thirty people and they never asked much of me, even though I told them they could. It was cold, quiet. Easy to rebuild because it was isolated. The sun often beat the rain and winds out, and when it hit the ocean it looked—”

He stopped himself so abruptly that Naruto’s brow furrowed. “What? It looked like what?”

Sasuke’s mouth parted, faltering completely, because he knew what he’d been about to say. He’d avoided thinking it, avoided acknowledging why it had made the place one of his favorites to return to in between harder missions and he needed a good night’s rest.

Like your eyes , is what had almost come out of his mouth. 

Fuck, drinking with Naruto had not been a good idea at all. 

It made him think and understand shit about himself he didn’t want to drag up. Sasuke took a drink. He ran his eyes over the wooden grain of the table, and he answered softly, hoping Naruto would mistake the change in tone for nostalgia and not the irritation at himself that it actually was. “It was beautiful. You can see the islands that surround the village from the place that I stay at. And there were goats everywhere. Flowers too.”

He’d liked the stupid fucking village because he knew Naruto would have loved it. Goddammit. Why did he permeate every inch of Sasuke’s thoughts, sober or not? Angrily, Sasuke finished his drink and found Naruto’s eyes. They were shining.

“I’ve never heard you say so many words at once.”

“Shut up.” He tipped his glass toward the bottle expectantly. Naruto obliged, a little too happily for Sasuke’s taste, and poured him another. “What about you? What have you been doing here?”

“Oh, you know,” Naruto’s hand came up to rub the back of his neck like it always did when he got nervous. Sasuke blinked. Why was he nervous? “Missions n’ stuff. Training to be the Hokage is soooo boring sometimes, Sasuke. Like, I have to learn about diplomacy. A lot of it goes right over my head, but Shika has a good way of explaining it to me most of the time. Kakashi drags me along to a lot of his meetings and that can be kind of fun ‘cause I get to see Gaara and meet new people. But other than that there’s been nothing, really. I’ve been building my plant collection, Ino’s been helping. Um,” he was stalling. Not saying something. Did it have to do with the letter he’d last sent? He’d seemed so aimless, talking about all the things he would eventually get to do. Why was he not enjoying it now? 

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “What is it?”

The hand came away from the back of his neck, arms folding tightly over his chest, and Naruto shook his head wildly, blonde spikes slapping across his temples. “Nothing. It’s just this thing that keeps happening and it’s dumb, but you asked what’s been happening here and it was the first thing that came into my head but, Sasuke, it’s dumb—”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Just tell me.”

“Ikeepgettingaskedoutandit’sgettingreallyawkwardbecauseIhaven’tsaidyestoanyone,” Naruto burst out, and then immediately groaned and smacked a palm over his face. “See? Dumb. But I don’t know what to do about it. They just keep coming at me!!” A dramatic flail of his hands distracted Sasuke from the present matter at hand, and he blinked a few times to come back to the conversation.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” 

Sasuke winced at the raise in volume. “Why haven’t you said yes? I’m assuming one of them was the Hyuga girl. Do you not like her?”

Naruto gaped at Sasuke like he’d never seen him before. “Uh, no. I mean, yes, I like her—”

“Then why didn’t you say yes?” His tone was more acidic than he meant for it to be.

“Let me finish, bastard,” Naruto snapped back. “I like her as a friend—” whatever the fuck that meant, “—not like, I don’t know. I mean she’s great, but she’s so quiet and like what would we even talk about? She doesn’t even talk, I mean no offense, but I don’t know I just feel like I would have realized that I liked her when she told me she loved me—”

What? That meek, insect of a woman had actually confessed? Sasuke tried not to grit his teeth but he wasn’t sure it worked. He cursed the alcohol again for his lack of control. His Sharingan was itching to come to life at the physical threat to his being this entire conversation felt like. Maybe he should get up. Leave. Go for a walk before he broke the glass in his hand. 

“—during the Pein attack, and then I literally forgot about it. Like she told me she loved me and then died, and I forgot about her confession completely. I don’t think that’s really, like, the type of relationship I want.”

Or…maybe not. The crackling inside him smoothed a bit at Naruto’s words. Right, he was an Uchiha. Calm. Level headed. Being helpful to his one and only friend because he’d lost his mind in grief and rage and severed all of his other bonds. He could do this.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Naruto was, again, staring at him like he’d grown an extra head, with a little exasperation mixed in. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What kind of relationship do you want, then?”

Naruto’s expression paused, and then scrunched. He sat back in his chair with a distant look in his eye when he answered, “Ya know, that’s a pretty good question, S’ke.” He lifted his glass to his mouth and took a long drink.

“I mean,” Naruto was looking everywhere but Sasuke. “I want someone who understands me, not just like has an idea of me or what I’ve done for everyone. I like that, the feeling of people seeing me as a hero or whatever, but I don’t know if I want a relationship based on someone just adoring me or liking me for just that one part of me. That feels fake. It wouldn’t feel…what’s that word, when it’s like equal feelings?”

“Reciprocal?”

“That’s the one,” Naruto stared out the window behind Sasuke’s head for a long minute. Sasuke observed him, let himself catalogue all the fleeting emotions running across the strong lines of his face. He was really considering this. Sasuke nearly blanched at the realization, because it meant Naruto would find someone. Because if he wanted someone, he would. Yes, he wanted something deeper than just acknowledgement, but he would find that because he made people want to understand. And he was Naruto. People flocked toward him like the sun. His pull was inevitable. Sasuke knew it better than anyone. And where would that leave Sasuke? Alone, stopping by Naruto’s family house with his pitiful guest room—

The thought made something so vicious rise up in him that he had to close his eyes in effort to restrain the Sharingan. He hated that. He hated that idea and he hated himself for hating it because Naruto deserved whatever it was he wanted. He hated that he was even thinking this.

Sasuke was never drinking again. 

All of his compartmentalization had gone straight out the window with the alcohol and it was quite frankly, an emotional shit show inside his own skull. Not that it was a walk in the park sober, either.

“I just, I had a lot of anger as a kid. Sometimes I still do. And it’s just, I don’t know if I just want some girl who only knows the outside of everything to become a person I wake up next to every day.”

The ache that speared through Sasuke at those last words was pathological. He was a masochist, listening to this. Fuck. Shit. Shit. He wanted to burn this entire apartment to the ground. He wanted to leave and never come back. He wanted Naruto to never need anyone other than him. Sasuke slammed a mental door shut on his thoughts, iron and weighted, and relished in the feeling of them being crushed. He had to stop. 

“Sasuke? Did you fall asleep? Do you wanna lay down on the couch?”

Right. His eyes were closed. He pried them open and the world dipped. A wave of exhaustion washed over him. “Not asleep. And yes, I do.”

They moved like two drunken idiots; Naruto still had a considerable amount of energy to him but Sasuke thought it looked a bit like a sugar crash in the blaze of his eyes. He’d probably go down any minute now. Sasuke flung himself rather dramatically onto the couch, folding his arm over his chest and gazing up at the ceiling. Naruto sat beside him on the floor, drink still in hand.

They had only been in their new scene for a moment before Sasuke sighed and said, “You’ll find someone, Naruto. Don’t rush it and don’t let anyone else rush you.” He twisted his head, locking eyes with his friend. “But when you do find them, you have to let them see the inside in order for them to understand.”

Naruto wrinkled his nose, the motion distorting his whiskers. Sasuke’s next inhale felt like someone had impaled his throat with a sword and yanked it out. He'd done it. He'd offered logical, practical advice on a topic he loathed and not lost his temper. Itachi, he thought darkly, you better be fucking proud.

“How am I supposed to know when a person is the type that I want to let inside?”

Sasuke wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. “You’ll know.”

He was expecting an— isn’t that just what the old geezers say or a how do you know? but instead was met with a serious set to Naruto’s features. His eyes searched Sasuke’s, and then softened at whatever he found there. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, shrugging in acceptance, “I guess I will.” 

Naruto leaned back against the small table in front of the couch and they both remained there together, swimming in and out of consciousness as sleep tried to take them. Sasuke felt strangely reminiscent of their last fight. All the anger ebbed out of him until he was content again, trying to memorize the feeling of Naruto's chakra so close. It was relaxing.

“S’ke,” Naruto’s eyelids were fluttering closed, but Sasuke found it amusing to watch him try and stay awake for what he was sure was a masterful piece of conversation. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Who am I going to tell?” Sasuke was fairly sure he wouldn’t tell, no matter what it was Naruto was about to say, but promises were not his forte. 

“I dunno,” Naruto mumbled, putting his chin in his palms, “Sakura-chan, maybe? Or, Kakashi-sensei has always liked you best.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”

“Is too!”

“What’s your secret, Naruto?”

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Hm.”

“That wasn’t a promise!”

“Fine. I promise. Spit it out.”

Naruto’s eyes had lost some of their droopy exhaustion. He leaned forward, pitching his face almost directly into Sasuke’s. He caught himself by shoving his elbow into the couch, his chin hitting his open palm drunkenly as he peered down at Sasuke. “It’s kind of a stupid secret, now that I think about it.”

“Naruto,” Sasuke drawled, annoyed, eyes half closing against another wave of drowsiness.

“Okay, okay,” Naruto scooted a bit closer and then upended all of Sasuke’s thoughts by laying his head down on his chest and gazing up at him somewhat dreamily. Sasuke froze, refusing to react until he understood the situation.

This had to be the alcohol. Was he imagining this? Naruto didn’t look at him like that, except after they'd beaten the shit out of each other. Naruto didn’t—

Their faces were inches apart, and Sasuke could feel Naruto’s breath scattering over his jaw. The rushing, beating feeling filled his chest up again. It almost drowned out Naruto’s secret entirely when Naruto smiled at him again, that winding, easy smile that Sasuke had never seen before tonight, and reached up to brush the hair away from Sasuke’s Rinnegan.

His breath snagged at the touch and he was—he didn’t know what to do—what any of it meant—

“I think they were right about you, in the Academy.”

What? Sasuke’s brow furrowed.

“You really are pretty.”

Silence. In his brain, his body, and then, “That was your secret?” 

“Told you it was kinda stupid,” Naruto’s eyes had closed, his hand fallen somewhere behind Sasuke’s head. 

Sasuke stared at him speechlessly. Naruto thought he was pretty? Naruto, who he had kissed twice already, who made him laugh, who ate nothing but ramen and said stupid shit and wore that hideous orange, who fought for Sasuke, would have died with him, who wrote him over and over again to tell him that if Sasuke wanted a home here, he would be waiting. Naruto, who was the sun personified: bright, churlish, blinding with his charming, boyish smiles. 

The surge of heat that burned through him pricked at Sasuke’s eyes. What did it mean? He’d always—no. It couldn’t be that. He had asked. He had asked at the end of the war, and Naruto had given his answer. 

Naruto was fast asleep, slumped against Sasuke and the couch. Sasuke sighed, and pressed his hand over his eyes. The idiot probably wouldn’t even remember that he’d said it in the morning. 

But Sasuke wanted him to.

Chapter Text

“Naruto.”

The voice calling his name sounded familiar, a rich baritone that lulled him further back into sleep. Ugh, he was not ready to open his eyes yet. He was so warm and comfortable, his arm flexed around his pillow and he pressed his face deeper into the hard surface. His nose scrunched. Why was his pillow so hard? And why did it smell like Sasuke? Not that he minded, he’d always thought Sasuke smelled good, all rich spice and smoke.

A hand carded through his hair, which was unexpected, but he was drowsy with sleep and it felt so nice —until the hand gripped the roots of his hair and yanked his head up with such force that Naruto let out a yelp. 

His eyes flew open to find Sasuke glaring up at him. 

The up at him part registered after a second, and he hastily moved away only to be immobilized by the hand with a death grip on his hair. He winced, both at the sunlight and the pounding ache in his head that Sasuke was not helping. Had he fallen asleep on Sasuke? 

“Let go of my hair,” he whined, eyes squinted, “Sasukeee, please . It’s too early to fight. And my head hurts.”

The only response he got was a narrowing of black eyes and the hand in his hair tightening to the point of pain. “Ouch, you asshole, that hurts!”

“I am not a body pillow.”

“Fine, yes, whatever, I’m sorry you’re still such a stick in the mud—”

Sasuke threw him sideways by the hair, sending Naruto crashing into the coffee table and then the floor. He remained there, letting out a small, “Ow.” He closed his eyes again, somewhat miserable. The sun was too bright, his mouth was too dry, Sasuke was angry with him—

Naruto sat up abruptly, and stared at Sasuke, who had swung his legs over the couch and sat up. His hair was mussed terribly in the back from sleep, sticking up just as it had for most of their teenage years, the creases around his eyes still relaxed. Something fluttered in the base of Naruto’s throat. 

He’d called Sasuke pretty last night.

What the hell had he been thinking? 

Well, he knew what he had been thinking. He’d been thinking that the pink flush high on Sasuke’s delicately carved cheekbones from the liquor was pretty, that it matched the shade of his mouth and made his eyes look like onyx, shining and endless. That all of his features were so sharp and unyielding and yet smooth, elegant. That he wanted to touch him, just to know that he was actually there and not a dream. Wanting to be close to Sasuke was nothing new. But this—this noticing him, coupled with the want—Naruto didn’t really know what to do with it. 

That didn’t stop his mouth from blurting out, “Train with me today.”

Sasuke’s eyes flickered to his face and held there. “Don’t you have lessons with Shikamaru?”

Naruto shook his head, “Nah, but I have to finish something for Kakashi-sensei. After that, I have the day off.” 

“Hn,” Sasuke stood and stretched, the navy shirt he was wearing rising to show a thin strip of ivory stomach. Naruto found the weather suddenly very interesting, turning around to find a cool, gray sky misting outside his windows. “Maybe. I have to report back to Kakashi about Ame. He was busy yesterday.” 

“Oh, yeah!” The strange tension forgotten, Naruto whirled back around and sprung to his feet. “You never did tell me what’s going on there. What news did you have?”

Sasuke moved to lean against the kitchen counter, and smirked. “That’s confidential.”

It was unfair that he looked like this in the morning, Naruto thought. He quickly decided that he could let it slide because he was in Naruto’s apartment, looking like this. He was sockfooted in loose black trousers, his remaining arm running a hand through his hair so that it fell normally again, a curtain of ebony around his face. The urge to call him pretty hit again, but that would get him thrown through the window now that they were both sober. 

Wolfishly, Naruto smiled. “If you want breakfast, you have to tell me.” 

An arched eyebrow. “Blackmail, Uzamaki?” 

Naruto approached him slowly, not forgetting the hair incident. He came up against the counter next to him, still smiling, “You know you want to tell me.”

“I’d rather starve.” He didn’t miss the slight curve of Sasuke’s mouth. 

“Are you sure?” Naruto knocked their shoulders together, “I make a mean omelet. Plus, Kakashi-sensei will tell me anyway.”

Sasuke turned his face toward Naruto’s, scoffing when he saw the pout there. 

“Then let him.”

“Sasuke.”

“Naruto.”

At an impasse, they stared at each other. He didn’t really want to push Sasuke’s buttons, considering his scalp still ached, but the other ninja wasn’t budging. Naruto huffed and moved into the kitchen. “Whatever, you’re so lame. At least promise me we’ll spar later. It’s been way too long.”

“Maybe.”

Naruto rolled his eyes and busied himself with making breakfast. He glanced up when Sasuke didn’t disappear into his bedroom or the bathroom and instead sat at one of the stools underneath the counter, propping his chin up with the back of his hand to watch Naruto with large, sleepy eyes. It made Naruto giddy. Stupidly happy. Like he might actually fucking combust trying not to grin like a madman at the boy in front of him. 

“So,” he said carefully, side eyeing Sasuke as he slid the butter around the pan. “Are you going to stay in Konoha until you get a new mission?”

Almost what he really wanted to ask, but Naruto knew better than to ask that question. He already knew the answer would hurt. It always did, when Sasuke left. 

“I was planning on it.” 

At least a week , Naruto thought a little too desperately, cracking the first of the eggs and then rummaging through his fridge for the cheese and tomatoes he’d bought yesterday on his way home. When he started dicing them up into halves to put in the first omelet, he heard a hesitant surprise in Sasuke’s voice. 

“You hate tomatoes.”

“Yeah, but you love them,” Naruto tossed the halves into the mix with the cheese before throwing Sasuke a grin over his shoulder. “And it’s your house too, eh? At least when you’re here.”

It took another few minutes before he laid the omlet in front of Sasuke, who picked up his fork with an air of suspicion. 

Naruto laughed, “What? It’s not poisoned. Although,” he wrinkled his nose, “you could count tomatoes as poisonous because they taste so bad.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t know a vegetable if it hit you in the face.”

“Not true,” Narutoe sing-songed, “sometimes I get carrots and onions in my ramen. And Saukra-chan makes me eat her disgusting food pills on missions and I know she puts broccoli in them.”

Sasuke snorted, and then muttered, “Moron.” 

Naruto inhaled his food by the stove, and when he was done he caught Sasuke watching him again. His expression was so unguarded, a slightly annoyed but fond tilt to his mouth that made Naruto forget that he was trying to be cool and he beamed back at him, all teeth.

“I like this,” he confessed, unable to stop himself, “it’s so much better with you here.”

Sasuke wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking apprehensive, “What is?”

“I don’t know. Life? The mornings? I just like it.” Naruto breezed by him on his way to get ready for the day. Before Sasuke could turn around, he smacked his hand atop his head and ruffled his hair in retaliation for earlier, darting off to the bathroom while yelling, “Don’t forget we have to go see Sakura-chan off first!”

Kakashi was already there when they arrived at the gates, leaning a bit too casually on a fence post for someone wearing the Hokage hat, his eyes crinkled into what Naruto could tell was a smile. 

“Hey, old man,” he greeted him, instantly drawing an annoyed look to the Hokage’s previously happy face. 

“Call me old again and I’ll have you finish the academy assignees and all of the Suna paperwork before you leave the Tower today,” Kakashi said cheerfully, effectively shutting Naruto up. 

He rebounded quickly, moving his attention to Sakura. “We’ll miss you, Sakura-chan! Be sure to come back safe.”

Her green eyes were glistening when she opened her arms for a hug, which Naruto accepted happily. He’d never really gotten a lot of hugs as a kid, and he thought Sakura gave some of the best. She always smelled sweet, a bit like cotton candy and her namesake, and her strong arms felt safe. Comforting. “I’m serious,” he said against her pink hair, “let your team take care of you sometimes, too, ya know?”

When they withdrew, she smiled at him, “Thanks, Naruto. I’ll try.”

Her eyes flickered to Sasuke, who had been inadvertently drawn into conversation with Kakashi. “Is he going to tell me that he’s not in love with me?”

Naruto tensed, unsure how to respond, but apparently his hesitation was all the answer Sakura needed. “It’s okay,” she said, but the green of her eyes had dimmed, “I’ll be okay. I’ve already come to accept it in some ways.” 

He hesitated, not wanting to leave her like this, “Are you sure?”

She smiled at him again, smaller, but still genuine. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Naruto stepped back and found Sasuke waiting, Kakashi long gone. “I’ll, uh, see you when you get back, Sakura. Sasuke? Train later?”

The dark haired ninja just nodded. Right. Naruto shunshined the hell out of there. 

After he’d finished assigning the Academy teams, he scoured a few of the training grounds he knew Sasuke liked until he spotted a familiar tall, lean figure in black throwing kunai viciously at a wooden dummy. 

He dropped from the trees into the clearing, his feet hardly on the ground when a kunai whizzed past his ear and embedded into the tree behind him. 

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s impolite to greet someone with a kunai?”

This time it was a shuriken, aimed right for his head. Naruto ducked, frowning.

“I wasn’t greeting you.”

“Sure could have fooled me.” Naruto waltzed up into his space, about to ruffle his hair again (he’d really liked doing that this morning), when Sasuke pivoted and they were nose to nose. There was a deadly glint to the black of Sasuke’s visible eye, a smudge of satisfaction, too.

Naruto glanced down. There was a kunai against his throat.

“Doesn’t count,” he looked back up at Sasuke and leaned into it with a grin, letting the blade prick his skin, “I wasn’t even fighting.”

Sasuke’s eyes dropped to the blood that welled against the steel and then ran down the base of his throat. “A real ninja is always on his guard.”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell me how it went with Sakura and Kakashi.”

Sasuke withdrew the kunai. “It went fine.”

“Fine? Sasuke—” he was already returning to throwing kunai at the target, “that’s not a real answer.”

He yanked on Sasuke’s empty sleeve, twisting him around. The Sharingan was spinning lazily in his eye, that bold smirk creeping up his pink mouth again as he knocked Naruto’s arm away and flickered away, across the clearing. “You want a real answer? Come get it.”

A surge of adrenaline and anticipation shot up his veins and Naruto grinned wildly. “You’re on. But no jutsu, or the Hokage will kill me. I’ve already destroyed four training grounds with Lee.”

“Tch. Boring.”

They circled each other, and then Naruto was off, surging forward to throw the first punch that was easily blocked and then retaliated. This pattern continued for a while, their bodies moving seamlessly to counterattack each other in a variety of complex combos that had them both sweating. His eyes narrowed. Even with one arm, Sasuke was keeping him on his toes—his legs were longer, and he was still so fucking fast that Naruto almost had to admit he might be faster. He was going to have to wait for Sasuke to make a mistake. Or, force him into one. 

It wasn’t until three moves later that he saw his opening—a kick that would have dislocated his jaw if he hadn’t batted it away. With a roguish smirk, he asked in between punches, “Since when can your legs go that high?”

Sasuke froze at the question—just a split second—his slanted eyes widening a fraction in confusion and fluster, but it was all that Naruto needed. His next kick landed, successfully driving Sasuke backwards into a tree trunk and he closed the distance between them, taking a nasty punch to the jaw in order to brace his forearm against Sasuke’s chest and shove his back into the bark.

“So,” he said determinedly, “What did you tell Sakura-chan?”

Sasuke was pissed, but that was nothing new. Naruto knew he hated it when he babbled during a fight—he always had. Not his fault Sasuke didn’t see it coming. 

He grit his teeth and then shoved Naruto off of him, glaring (still a mild glare, for Sasuke) before he caved and snapped. “I told her that I want her to move on.”

“Nicely?”

They went back to exchanging blows, but Naruto noticed there was a bit more force behind Sasuke’s now. Shit, he really had pissed him off. 

“Fuck off,” Sasuke answered as he let one of Naruto’s punches hit, using the contact to snatch Naruto’s wrist and then he whirled away, twisting his arm up and behind his back painfully.

Naruto started, “Hey—” but the words turned dry in his mouth when he felt the firm press of Sasuke’s chest against his back. He swallowed, heart racing. He could feel Sasuke’s heart like this, too. It was pounding, heavy and strong. He smelled like sweat and smoke and Naruto felt another rush course through him, almost the same as adrenaline, but this one was Sasuke-specific. It burned hotter, faster. It made him slightly crazy, maybe. Definitely. 

“Now,” Sasuke pressed his mouth to Naruto’s ear and he was immediately reminded of the time outside of Orochimaru’s lair when he had seen Sasuke for the first time in three years, “you tell me why you’re so interested.”

He tried to suppress the shiver that ran through him, the heat that started clawing up his throat at Sasuke’s proximity, but it was useless. His voice came out raspy and low when he responded, “Had to make sure you hadn’t changed your mind, bastard.”

A scoff, and then Sasuke loosened his grip, letting Naruto face him. 

His mouth was drawn back up into that arrogant, mocking sneer that made Naruto’s blood boil, “Are there any other questions you need answered?”

“Yeah, just one.”

Naruto yanked him forward by his empty sleeve and drove his knee into Sasuke’s lungs, and then slammed him into the ground with two hands on his shoulders. He sat heavily on Sasuke’s stomach all in the same motion, pinning him, and asked on the way down, mouth brushing his ear, “Did you think about me when you were gone?”

Sasuke let out a startled breath as his back thudded against the dirt, his answer slipping out of him reactively, a snap. “Yes,” he hissed back. His angular features contracted with surprise and rage, as if he hadn’t expected himself to answer.

Like this, he was looking up at Naruto, hair fanned out behind him, Rinegan showing. Naruto thought he looked much better when he wasn’t hiding behind his hair. 

“Hmph,” Naruto nodded his head, almost to himself. “Glad we’ve cleared that up.”

He leaned down again, hands skimming across Sasuke’s bicep to snatch the hand coming up off the ground, and worked it back down to the ground. He flashed a savage grin, enjoying the view of a straining, pissed off Sasuke underneath him a little bit too much. “Kind of an obvious statement, but I thought about you too.” 

Sasuke sent Naruto flying. 

“Hey! We said no jutsu!”

After they had wrestled in the dirt for a little while longer, Naruto griping the entire time about Sasuke being a cheater, they had both rolled over onto their backs and claimed the win for themselves (Naruto had won though, really, Sasuke was just too much of a sore loser to admit it).

It was late in the day, almost dusk, and they went to meet Shikamaru and Choji for their promised ramen. Sasuke complained on the way, something about he didn’t know why it always had to be ramen, but Naruto knew he wouldn’t turn down a free meal. When they had finished catching up with the other two ninjas, Shikamaru and Choji headed out, leaving the two of them alone in the ramen stand.

“Hey,” Naruto said, bumping his elbow into Sasuke’s with a fiendish grin, earning him a glare. “Wanna go somewhere with me?”

“...not particularly.”

“Teme, come on, it’ll be worth it.”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Naruto.” He liked it when Sasuke said his name like that, drawing out all the syllables in that low, annoyed tone of his. Not that he’d tell Sasuke that. Ever. Then he’d stop saying his name all together just out of spite. 

“Just finish your food already and I’ll show you!”

When Sasuke was finished, they exited the ramen stand and Naruto smiled at the sight of Sasuke standing there, in the middle of the village. There was this visceral sort of happiness that was living in the back of his throat, behind his eyes, in the pit of his stomach. It was snowballing every second that he spent with Sasuke. Naruto was terrified of the space it was taking up. Terrified of what it would be exchanged with when he left. His smile faded. He wasn’t going to think of that. Not while he was here. 

Sasuke followed him through the streets, and Naruto stayed so close that their knuckles brushed occasionally. The other boy didn’t say anything about it or move away, which he was glad for, but he did notice a few curious looks from the villagers that they passed. One woman even passed them a warm smile that Naruto returned, and an old lady winked at Naruto, which he had no idea what to make of and prayed Sasuke hadn’t seen. 

When they reached their destination, he heard Sasuke laugh softly beside him. “This was your big surprise?”

Naruto had brought them to the outskirts of the village, where the hills began to roll into the forest. They had stopped at a particular hill that Naruto knew well, with a lone oak tree that stood stout and ready against the wind pulling through its leaves. 

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it,” Naruto said, climbing up the hill in a few leaps, “it's a great hill.”

He flopped onto the ground, leaning back on his arms, and gazed up at the sky. They were further out from the city here, the long grass waving peacefully in the breeze and the stars winking down at them. Sasuke sat down beside him and looked up. 

Not really knowing why, other than to just tell Sasuke, he said, “I used to come out here and wish on shooting stars when you were gone.”

“Let me guess,” Sasuke’s face was smug when Naruto glanced at him, “you wished for ramen and that Sakura would kiss you.”

“Oi, shut up!” Naruto shoved him backwards, and Sasuke fell, laughing. His back thudded against the grass, hair fanning out behind him as his eyes crinkled. Naruto could listen to him laugh forever. Once, he had been terrified he would never hear it again. He still was, in a way. 

“No,” Naruto drew his legs up to his chest and looked up at the sky that had brought the boy next to him back, “I wished for you. Lots of stuff about you.”

“...really?” He could feel Sasuke staring at him from where he was, seemingly fine to stay sprawled out on the grass. 

“It’s stupid now, I know, but yeah. That you were safe, that was the biggest one. That you would come back.”

“You’re more sentimental than Kakashi.”

“Hey!” Naruto twisted to give Sasuke a kick in the shin, “Take that back! Right now!”

“No.”

“Asshole. I’m over here pouring out my bleeding heart and all you do is make fun of me.” 

“You make it too easy.”

Naruto laughed and laid back in the grass beside him. They fell quiet for a long time, soaking in the sounds of the late night. Crickets were chirping, and somewhere in the tree above them there were a few song birds singing. For the first time in a long time, he felt happy. Genuinely content. Like when he woke up in the morning, he would not be wondering what more he wanted from life. This is what he wanted. But how did he keep it, when Sasuke hated Konoha? When Sasuke always left, and always would?

Naruto frowned. 

If he couldn’t have this, what else did he want? Would dating someone really fill the empty void that had been haunting him for the past few months? Sakura-chan seemed to think so. She had hinted to him a few days ago that Hinata was probably going to say something again soon and that he should think about it, because she wanted him to be happy, less restless. Naruto didn’t know how to feel about any of it. 

“Say, Sasuke,” Naruto said suddenly. “Don’t you want something that’s yours?”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess I mean some one that’s yours. Someone that you know will be there, specifically for you. Someone to say good morning to, to come home to. Don’t you want that too?”

“I…don’t know.”

“How can you not know? Isn’t it lonely traveling all by yourself?”

“It can be. Sometimes I meet people.”

Naruto didn’t like the streak of jealousy that jolted through him at Sasuke’s words (who the fuck was Sasuke meeting? Did he already have other best friends? Was it fucking Taka or whatever their dumbass name was?) “Like who?”

“No one important,” there was a smile in Sasuke’s voice, like he could hear the jealousy. He probably could. “No one like you’re talking about.”

“Do you want that, though?”

Sasuke hesitated. “Maybe.”

Naruto rolled over onto his stomach, their sides almost touching, and gazed down at Sasuke. The stars were glistening in the reflection of his irises and Naruto felt a strange, terrible pain at the idea of someone else getting to see Sasuke like this. “Just maybe?”

He sighed. “Naruto.”

“You can tell me, S’ke. I’ve already told you my problems with finding someone.”

“Have you, really,” Sasuke deadpanned.

“Just humor me.”

“Hm,” Sasuke’s eyes turned searching, curious, as he traced the constellations above them. Naruto thought maybe he should be looking at the stars too, but he found he’d rather look at Sasuke. He burned brighter. “I meant what I said. Maybe.”

“But why maybe?”

Sasuke frowned. “It can’t be just anyone for me, Naruto. You know that. It’s a lot of the same as the way you described it last night. There’s too much to explain. And,” more hesitation, so it was something serious, “if I had someone who was mine, they would expect me to be theirs. I don’t think I would be very good at that.”

But you’re already mine, Naruto wanted to say. And I’m already yours. But maybe that’s why Sasuke didn’t want it with someone else? Maybe that’s why he didn’t want it with someone else. He couldn’t imagine laying here with anyone else. Wanting to, even. But what did that mean? 

“Aren’t we already kind of like that?”

Sasuke’s eyes snapped to his. “What?”

“You know my heart and I know yours. And I think you’re good at it. You’ve changed a lot. In some good ways. Some annoying ways.”

“You think I’m good at it,” Sasuke’s mouth twisted, like he was about to get angry. “What is it , Naruto?”

“Caring for people. Being someone’s.”

Sasuke’s mouth set, and this time Naruto knew he was thinking. A dangerous thing. “You think that I’m yours?”

No. Yes. Naruto wanted him to be, probably more than he’d ever wanted anything else. He had always wanted Sasuke, here, with him. He’d wanted other things for Sasuke, too. Like that soft look in his eye he got now when he was happy, and the way he took tomatoes from Naruto and even withstood Kakashi-sensei’s teasing sometimes without absolutely detesting him. But really, at the core of it, hadn’t he chased him because he wanted Sasuke to be at least, just a tiny bit, his? His rival. His best friend. His.  

“Well, yeah. Not like I own you or anything weird like that. You’re my best friend. I’m yours. We’re each others’. It might not be the exact same,” he stumbled over his words awkwardly, trying to get them out before Sasuke decided to turn hostile, “but I think it still counts.”

Sasuke did not move, but the tension that had spiked his chakra smoothed over. He turned his head back to the stars, and Naruto did the same, wondering if the conversation was over.

“It counts.”

Naruto smiled widely at the sky.

Chapter Text

Sasuke still had his bad nights.

Tonight was one of them. Maybe that was because he had tried to enter the Uchiha District by himself earlier that day and had haunted the gateway like the ghost he was. Maybe because he had pointedly ignored Naruto’s questions about where he had been, or maybe because he was just fated to relive his traumas for the rest of his life. 

He was trapped in his brother’s Mangekyo again, but this time he was no longer a child. Instead, Itachi was with him, the Itachi he had killed, standing beside him as Sasuke watched the younger version of his brother slaughter everyone he’d ever known over and over again. Except this Itachi was not the brother that had parted from him with a forehead poke—he was cruel, aloof. Seeing his clan slaughtered had the same effect on Sasuke as it always did—he never numbed to the horror on so many of their faces, the acceptance in his parents’. Sasuke was sick the seventh time it ended when Itachi turned to him and said, “It’s a shame I’ll never get to see this again.”

His eyes were gone, bloodied sockets spilling out entrails and Sasuke could not close his brother’s eyes. He was sick again. After the thirty fourth time, he begged the Itachi next to him, “Please. Anything else. Show me anything else.”

Itachi smiled, but it was a cold thing, “As you wish, little brother.”

And then it quickly became so much worse. Because Itachi was showing things from the memory of his Sharingan, so this could not be a lie but it had to be it had to be.  

Sasuke was staring blankly down at his own hand impaled through Naruto’s chest. Straight through the heart. His chidori was crackling on the other end. 

“No,” he felt himself say breathlessly. What had he done?

This was not possible. Naruto was alive, Naruto couldn’t die—except he was directly in front of Sasuke, the light fading out of his eyes. His best friend coughed, blood splattering across Sasuke’s face, and grinned that trademark grin. 

“Looks like you got me, bastard.”

And then he was falling and Sasuke was catching him, screaming Sakura’s name because where was she? Naruto’s body was limp in his arms and he wasn’t breathing and Sasuke had killed him, he’d finally done it but this was not supposed to happen. Naruto was supposed to stop him, Naruto was supposed to smile at him and say something stupid that made Sasuke want to punch him into the next week. He could not be dead. Sasuke could not have killed him because he could not live in a world where there was no Uzamaki Naruto and he had always known that. He had known since the first time he'd left, that without Naruto there would be nothing left for him on this godforsaken earth.  He screamed again, but it was incoherent, violent—

“ —please wake up, Sasuke, you’re scaring me.”

The world came into focus in a bright red haze and the first thing he saw was the face of the person he had just killed. There was no logic in his reaction, just pure instinct as his senses and memory struggled to come back to him against the wave of panic and grief plowing through his system. 

He said his name, but barely heard himself say it. “Naruto.”

Naruto frowned, the action worried and familiar and Sasuke’s body moved all on its own. He was not dead, he was right here—

It was only after he had dragged the blonde forward by the arm that had shaken Sasuke awake, did he realize that he was hugging Naruto. So tightly that he could feel his heartbeat. Still beating. Not run through by Sasuke’s fist. His hand had moved to curl around the back of Naruto’s head and Sasuke let out a shaky breath. He was alive. 

Naruto made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and pushed forward, one knee coming up onto Sasuke’s bed as he embraced Sasuke. His arms were broad and warm as they wrapped around Sasuke’s waist and pulled him even more firmly against his chest. He smelled like lemons and a rich spring rain, like the sunshine that washed over the world after a storm. The hug was suffocating, crushing, and exactly what he needed apparently, for his Sharingan to fade and his memory to come fully back to him. Sasuke stiffened the moment it did. 

Of course Naruto wasn’t dead. Sasuke was staying in his apartment. Had been here for two days and Naruto was already driving him up the wall with his smiles and touches and questions that made Sasuke want to rip his own hair out or level a village. Everything came rushing back. The mortification had his hand sliding out of Naruto’s hand to flatten against the top of his back. He became too aware of everywhere he was touching the other boy all at once—they were in his fucking bed. Together. He let go of Naruto quickly, pulling back, but Naruto did not remove his arms.

Instead, he pressed his forehead to Sasuke’s collar bones and held him even tighter. His blonde hair was soft underneath Sasuke’s chin, fluffy and warm. When he spoke it was muffled and rough, “You still have them too, huh?”

Too? “I’m okay, Naruto.” 

“Well, I’m not,” he said back, but his grip loosened enough for Sasuke to inhale again. He still did not let go. Naruto’s overwhelming presence made his words from earlier, the ones Sasuke had fallen asleep turning over in his mouth, vibrant in the forefront of Sasuke’s mind. 

Aren’t we already kind of like that? 

Sasuke struggled to find his voice through the whiplash of his emotions. “It was nothing. I’m fine.” He didn’t want Naruto to see him like this—broken, scared. All of the things he still despised about himself were sizzling just under the surface of his skin. There was a wetness on his face that he wanted to hide, unsure if it was blood or tears or a mixture of both. He wondered if Naruto would notice if he put him under a genjutsu in order to avoid this conversation. 

“I don’t think you are,” Naruto said into his shirt, sighing and letting him go. Sasuke looked away, unable to stomach the pity or understanding or concern—whatever he would find—in those shining blue eyes. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto’s hands came up to cup his face, the warm press of his palms shocking him so thoroughly that he did not resist when Naruto turned his face back to his, and their eyes locked, “you can tell me, if you want to.” He offered a wan smile and there it was, the concern Sasuke had not wanted to witness, in the crookedness of Naruto’s mouth, “I’ll take whatever you say to my grave, bastard. Believe it.”

“Don’t say that.” The harsh words cracked out of Sasuke so sharply that he surprised them both. He swallowed roughly as he withdrew from Naruto and slid backwards until his shoulders met the wall that his bed laid against. “Don’t say that,” he said again, softer, wishing he could close his eyes and shut all of this out but was terrified of what he might see if he did. 

“Why?” Naruto sat on the edge of his bed, one leg folded underneath him and the other firm on the floor. His eyebrows were knitted together in confusion, the handsome panes of his face twisted with worry. 

Sasuke’s lips constricted into a tight line as he stared at him. His hair was all over the place, skewed from sleep and the frog shaped sleeping cap that had fallen sideways on his head. Sasuke’s heart constricted so painfully that he fought against the underlying compulsion that he had been right after all—bonds did nothing but hurt. But as always, Naruto won the war he did not know was waging inside Sasuke’s head with no more than the lure of his sky blue eyes and the expression on his face. What about him made Sasuke want to confess—to spill his guts out all over the floor and hope that Naruto was not disgusted by what he saw? 

“Because I kill you,” he said, and it was so quiet that Naruto had to lean forward. “That’s what my nightmares are. It’s always Itachi—” he knew that needed no explanation, “—and killing you.”

Naruto was silent, understanding flashing across and rewriting his features into a guarded mask. “Chidori?” He asked after a while and his hand drifted up, over his right lung. 

Sasuke resisted the urge to snatch it away, something feral kicking up into his mouth that felt like a snarl, like he had been cornered. Like by Naruto’s life being threatened, so was his own. He didn’t know what to do with it, the vehement tide of emotion that swelled in his throat, other than lash out, so he shut down instead. Because who was to blame but himself? He moved his gaze to the side, unintentionally catching on the Uchiha fan that Naruto had dragged out of the ruins of what was once his home. Naruto was so good at undoing Sasuke to his very core—and sometimes he loathed it. It made him feel vulnerable. Weak.  “Yes.”

“Well, I’m right here.” Naruto said it so plainly, like he had provided the answer to an easy question. 

“I can see that,” Sasuke said dryly, eyes flashing back to Naruto. 

“No,” Naruto shook his head, “I mean, I’m right here. Like, I could stay with you tonight if you wanted. Even if you don’t sleep, I dunno, maybe just knowing I’m not dead could help?”

He looked up at Sasuke through his lashes and Sasuke’s hands twitched at the surge of apprehension and appreciation for his friend. He wasn’t sure how he would fare with him so close, but Nartuo had that famous determined look washing over his face and Sasuke knew it would be pointless to argue otherwise when he said, “I’ll stay anyway, just in case. Your bed is big enough for two. We used to sleep in the same tent all the time when we were little!”

We’re not little anymore , was the retort that Sasuke bit back as Naruto flopped onto the far side of the bed, throwing the covers back obnoxiously and crawling into Sasuke’s space. Sasuke moved his legs only for a moment, and then placed them on top of Naruto's, crossed at the ankle. When Naruto turned onto his side to face Sasuke, his face was smushed into the fluffy white pillow and Sasuke felt some of the fear and anxiety drain out of him just by how ridiculous he looked. 

“Not going to lay down?” Naruto’s voice was muffled by the pillow, eyes already drooping as if the comfort of a bed was enough to put him to sleep. 

Not a chance in hell. 

“No,” Sasuke answered, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his head back against the wall, observing him. Took in the length of his profile and how it filled his bed. Wondered, somewhere in the back of his mind, what it would feel like to be tangled in those limbs on purpose, not because of a fight. No, they were definitely not little anymore. 

Naruto didn’t seem to mind Sasuke’s attention. He seemed intent on trying to stay awake, trying to maintain their eye contact for as long as he could and was failing—Naruto had always been the first to fall asleep out of the two of them. Sasuke felt the dread melt into something warm and rich that fluttered heavily in his chest as he watched Naruto breathe, deep and steady. It was not long before he felt his own eyes grow heavy again.

Just before he could nod off into sleep, Naruto’s eyelashes parted, allowing Sasuke a final glimpse of that endless blue. His hand came out from under the pillow sluggishly and grabbed at Sasuke’s, pulling it down to the mattress and holding it there loosely.

“Really missed you,” Naruto breathed, eyes closed again, completely unaware of the panic he had set through Sasuke, and fell asleep.

The fluttering thing in his chest tried to come all the way up out of his mouth, but Sasuke swallowed it. Forced himself to study the soft lines of Naruto’s face, sleep making him look so young again that Sasuke could have nearly mistaken him for seventeen again. 

He curled his fingers around Naruto’s and this time, Sasuke was the one that did not let go.

Sasuke sighed, staring out the small window of his bedroom with bleary eyes. He’d been up for a few hours but Naruto was still out cold, drooling all over Sasuke’s pillows. Well, he supposed they were actually Naruto’s. At least Sasuke’s current predicament had given him some time to think. 

Kakashi had told him the day before that he needed someone on the intel he’d provided for Ame—there was a power grab for a Kageship after peace from the war had settled, and the people were suffering—and that Sasuke only had the end of the week to decide if he wanted the mission. 

He had been leaning towards staying an additional week; his body would appreciate the rest in a bed rather than a roll out on the ground, but Naruto was making him restless. Literally.

Somehow the idiot had managed to take up the entire bed, including a leg that was twined around one of Sasuke’s. How the fuck did this moron ever wake up? He sighed again before retracting his hand—with some difficulty—from where Naruto had clutched at it all night long and flicked the blonde in between the eyes. Naruto pried a single eye half-open, registered Sasuke’s scowl, and then promptly shoved his face back into the pillow. 

“Why’re up so early?” He mumbled, slurring his words together. Sasuke didn’t have the will to resist Naruto when he squiggled closer into Sasuke’s space. 

“Dobe.” He hated how affectionate his voice sounded. “It’s half past noon.” 

“Whaa– Half past noon?” Naruto forced his head up, forearms coming to brace the bed as he blinked rapidly. Sasuke merely smirked at him. 

“Shit.” Naruto pushed himself out of the bed in a flurry, flinging the sheets into Sasuke’s face. “Shit,” he cursed again, looking down at himself in panic. “I was supposed to be at the Academy to help Iruka-sensei with the genin an hour ago!” Without preamble, he grabbed at the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, discarding the shirt on Sasuke's floor.

Sasuke’s eyebrows flew up into his bangs, but he offered no help. He was expecting Naruto to flash down the hall and get dressed in his own room but of course, expecting anything from Naruto was useless. Instead, he watched in mild horror and fascination as Naruto turned to ransack the dresser Sasuke hadn’t had time to investigate and pulled out a black shirt and a pair of loose black joggers. 

Huh, Sasuke thought rather dissociatively as he watched the flex of Naruto’s washboard abs while he yanked the shirt on, maybe the dumbass really did know a thing or two about Sasuke. He was thrown further out of his mind when Naruto shucked his froggy pajama pants off right then and there, revealing bright orange boxers that left little to the imagination, and yanked on the pants he had clearly bought for Sasuke. Sasuke blinked, unsure what the fuck he was supposed to do in this kind of situation. 

“Gotta go.” Naruto whirled around to face him, running a hand through his shaggy blonde hair. “See you later?” 

Sasuke wouldn’t lie. He liked the idea of Naruto in his clothes even if these weren’t technically his. Yet. The black was a good color on him, though everything was just a little bit too tight—Sasuke’s eyes lingered on the stretch of the fabric on his golden biceps. His mouth curled in response to Naruto’s question. He felt triumphant when Naruto’s eyes wavered from his own to watch him smirk. “Sure. Will I get a show then, too?”

It took less than two seconds for Naruto’s entire face to turn bright red, his mouth gaping open as he pointed a finger at Sasuke. “Hey! You could have looked away and shown a man some decency!”

“I could have,” he mused. Not likely, though. “You could have changed in your own room. Shown a man some decency,” he mocked, but there was no irritation in his words. 

“I–I don’t have time for this,” Naruto sputtered, and then shook his finger at Sasuke. “I’ll get you back later for that, you bastard.” 

Sasuke smiled, laughing a bit. “I’ll look forward to it.”

“That’s not what I meant–Argh!” Looking conflicted, Naruto glared at him when he made the hand signs for the Flying Raijin and flickered away. Sasuke’s shoulders shook as he tried to smother his laughter, but it was no use. He felt lighter than he had in years, but there was still something that weighed heavily on his chest. His laughter faded until he was staring blankly at the space Naruto had been. His heart and his eyes were in sync in that—without Naruto’s mad grins and the incessant chatter that soothed Sasuke nowadays more than truly irritated him, he found himself fumbling in the space Naruto so easily filled. Sasuke knew the ending to this, no matter how much he wished differently. 

He was an Uchiha. It was only a matter of time that a life of half touches and flirtatious comments drove him mad. Worse, if he had to watch Naruto—Sasuke cut himself off. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know how mad that might drive him. Even the thought was enough to send electricity crackling through his veins and a thin, hard line to his mouth. It wasn’t as if Naruto meant anything by his recent behavior—he’d always been over the top, flamboyant with his affection for his friends. Still, it did not stop Sasuke from imaging the Uchiha clan crest on the back of Naruto’s shirts. 

Maybe it was time to leave again. 

Sasuke sighed, defeated, and swapped places with the stack of Icha Icha books in Kakashi’s office.

“You better swap back with those when you leave,” was all his mentor said from underneath the Hokage hat, scribbling his name in a lazy signature before looking up at Sasuke. 

“I’ll take the mission in Ame.” He eyed Kakashi warrily, wondering if he was going to try and make another attempt at a heartfelt conversation like he had the last time Sasuke had come to see him. 

“I’m glad to hear it,” Kakashi leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, “but why the sudden change in mind? Is Naruto driving you crazy already?”

Sasuke didn’t answer that. “When do you need me to leave?”

Kakashi was frowning behind his mask, but didn’t press it. “Beginning of next week. I can have the mission details sent to Naruto’s apartment tomorrow.”

A thinly veiled threat that if Sasuke did not tell Naruto he was leaving before he departed, Kakashi would. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “You think I’d risk not telling him?”

“You two don’t have the best track record for healthy communication, so forgive me for ensuring I don’t have an enraged jinchuriki tearing through my village if you decide to disappear in the middle of the night to avoid his reaction.” Kakashi flicked his hat back as it drooped and then cocked his head at Sasuke. “Anything else I can do for you?”

Sasuke was the one frowning now. He wouldn’t have left without telling Naruto. The lack of faith his sensei had in him stung a bit more than he’d have liked, but he just said, “No.”

“Great. Now get out of my office and bring my books back. And if you see Naruto tell him that I expect him here on time tomorrow, regardless of how occupied the two of you might be with each other.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but did what he was told, the world spinning and then blipping out of focus as he dropped back into his room at Naruto’s. It was only after he steadied himself that he registered the second half of Kakashi’s sentence. Regardless of how occupied the two of you might be with each other. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Sasuke’s eye twitched. If Kakashi had some sort of suspicion he could come out and say to Sasuke’s face.

What Sasuke would do if he did say something to that effect was probably why the older ninja had refrained—his sensei knew the members of Team Seven eerily well. Whatever. Sasuke tried to shrug it off, but the idea of Kakashi suspecting anything even close to truth made his skin crawl. It didn’t matter, he told himself somewhat viciously. It was nothing more than suspicion. And he’d kill that silver haired pervert if he even so much as hinted anything in front of Naruto. 

Sasuke relaxed a bit at the thought. 

After wandering around the apartment a bit aimlessly, he made himself an omelet. It wasn’t half as good as the one Naruto had made him, but he ate it, cataloging the different pots and pans around the kitchen. Sasuke smiled to himself. Naruto had complained endlessly in his letters the first year of Sasuke’s journey of atonement because he’d had to learn how to cook for himself when Kakashi told him he’d bar him from missions if he only ate ramen. After finishing his food, Sasuke decided he would pay the idiot a visit. Watching Naruto butcher genin training sounded like a pretty good way to end his evening. 

He crossed Konoha relatively unseen by the rooftops and the shadows of alleyways, stopping to perch on a low hanging roof that overlooked the Academy’s training grounds. Naruto was hard to miss; he was a beacon of light, literally. He’d gone into Ninetails Mode, as he called it, probably at the request of one of the kids, and was glowing orange. Sasuke smirked when his glowing figure flickered out with a sheepish smile when Iruka came over, seemingly giving him a hard time. Of course he’d be showing off when he was supposed to be helping. The rest of the genin training went by without much else happening. Sasuke was shocked and pleased by the fact that none of the genin seemed to be weapons training—Naruto had written to Sasuke to tell him that he and Shikamaru had pushed Kakashi into making anything higher than a D rank mission strictly for jonin and chunin. It was nice, though, watching children be children in the way he and Naruto had never had the chance to be. If only they’d been granted the same opportunity.

Sasuke hung back as the parents came to pick up their children, watching Naruto chatter away with amusement, his golden cheeks rosy from the chill that had crept into the evening. Sasuke’s good mood evaporated the minute he saw the swish of Hinata’s long black hair, a bright red scarf clutched in her hands as she came to stand in front of Naruto shyly. Sasuke’s stomach twisted. He couldn’t hear their conversation from this far away but the way Iruka smiled knowingly at Naruto and made himself scarce had something foul and unpleasant creeping up the back of Sasuke’s throat. He stared in abject rage, trying to smother his rising chakra as Naruto smiled at Hinata’s blushing face and took the scarf when she extended it to him with shaking arms. Sasuke didn’t need to see anything else. 

He used his Rinnegan to switch places with Naruto’s hideous froggy pajama pants, feeling strangely satisfied knowing Naruto would never find them. Sasuke sat on the bed, hands on his knees. He kept seeing it—her smile, the pink on her pale skin, the stars in her eyes when she looked up at Naruto. And Naruto had taken the scarf. He’d smiled, the same crooked one he had given Sasuke since he’d arrived. Sasuke’s grip on his knees tightened and his chakra spiked, his Chidori snapping around his palms and his Mangeko activated without his permission. Gods, he was a fucking disaster waiting to happen. Sasuke had known, he knew Naruto didn’t feel that way—Sasuke grit his teeth, Chidori escalating into a wild roar of static around him. He needed to get his shit under control before Naruto noticed. 

The slam of the front door was like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped over Sasuke’s head. His Chidori died out, his eyes spun back into black and lavender, and he made sure he looked positively normal. He started packing—there was no way he was waiting until next fucking week to get out of this hellhole.

It took Naruto all of ten seconds to burst into Sasuke’s room with a bewildered look on his face. “Sasuke,” he started, one hand on Sasuke’s doorknob and the other bracing the doorframe, “what was that?”

Sasuke regarded him flatly, pausing in the middle of folding his only spare shirt. He didn’t like for them to get wrinkled in the storage scroll. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Naruto’s eyes narrowed and he snorted, “Bullshit. Your chakra just went all haywire or whatever they call it. What happened?” The scarf was hanging around his neck like a bloody noose. Sasuke averted his eyes to the floor. He would not lose his mind, he would not lose his mind—

“Nothing,” Sasuke said simply and turned his back on Naruto to continue packing. It was then that Naruto registered the bag out on Sasuke’s bed. 

“Sasuke, what–you’re leaving? Why?” Naruto’s voice was higher this time, almost panicked. As if. Sasuke was reading into everything and he had to stop. He had to stop.

Sasuke just slid the folded shirt into the bag, unable to articulate anything with the sheer rage that was spiraling just underneath his skin. He hated it here. He hated Konoha, he hated everything it took from him. He hated that it was going to take Naruto too.

“Hey, asshole, answer me when I’m talking to you,” Naruto growled and grabbed Sasuke’s sleeve, yanking him around to face him.

Sasuke had thought he’d known insanity before but this was too much. He clenched his jaw so hard he thought it might break when he caught a glimpse of the scarf. It was unfair. Everything about it was unfair. Red was his clan’s color and Naruto was his. The possessive, insane urge to rip the scarf from Naruto’s neck and incinerate it with the Canton burnt through him until Sasuke was practically vibrating with unreleased chakra. 

“I took the mission in Ame.” He sounded much calmer than he felt. That was good. “I’m leaving tomorrow.” He needed out. He needed to not see this, this blatant mockery of everything he would never have thrown in his face. Sasuke could not be here. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto demanded, distress coloring his voice, “tell me what’s wrong. You can’t leave–”

“Yes, I can.”

“But you just got here!” Naruto shouted. He was starting to get angry. 

Good. Sasuke wanted him to be angry. He was exhausted from feeling all of this by himself. “And?” Sasuke raised a haughty brow. “I don’t answer to you.”

“Well, one day you will,” Naruto snapped back, “and if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll make you stay. It’ll be my first order of fucking business, bastard.”

“You don’t scare me.” Sasuke knocked Naruto’s arm from where it was gripping his sleeve with a dark glare. “And I’d like to see you try.” 

“I already did,” Naruto said through gritted teeth, “or have you already forgotten how you lost that arm?”

“I lost my arm because you don’t know when to quit.” Sasuke went back to packing his bag only to have Naruto cross the room and snatch the bag from underneath his hand. 

Sasuke tried to look bored and not downright livid when his best friend shook his belongings in his face menacingly. “Tell me what’s wrong or I’ll feed everything in this to the frogs on Mount Myoboku.”

“Go ahead,” he replied evenly. “I’ll gut them and take it back.”

The gasp Naruto let out would have been comical if they weren’t both so pissed off. “Take that back, you dirty rat bastard–” and then they were brawling, Naruto throwing the first punch at Sasuke’s head. 

About fifteen minutes later, Naruto ended up tackling Sasuke to the floor after Sasuke had almost thrown him through one of the walls. “Tell me what’s making you so cagey,” Naruto hissed once he had Sasuke’s arm pinned rather gracelessly underneath his own, “and I’ll let your stubborn ass go.”

“Get off of me,” Sasuke warned, sweating slightly from their scuffle, feeling overstimulated and euphoric in a terrifying, destructive sense that Sasuke knew now that he should rein in before it got out of hand. His attempts weren't doing much, though. Naruto was in his space, the smell of lemons thundering down Sasuke's throat when the blonde leaned in. His senses were full of Naruto; his ears were still ringing from the last thing the half-wit had just screamed an inch from his face. Sasuke could feel his pupils dilating as Naruto hovered above him, holding him down. The irregularity of Sasuke's pulse was almost audible, surely visible. His Chidori was crackling wildly, his earlier rage still pent up like bottled fire. The last thing he needed was to actually become a terrorist because of this stupid fight, but he was itching to send the entire building into a column of smoke and dust with the Susanoo if Naruto didn’t start minding his own business. And back up. 

“No!” Naruto challenged, wincing as a particularly strong crack of electricity ran down Sasuke's body, a crease marring his brow. He shook Sasuke. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” Mid shake, the scarf that had started all of this fell off of Naruto’s neck and directly into Sasuke’s face.

The thin leash Sasuke had on his anger, his fucking spite, if he was being honest, slipped straight through his fingers. 

They both went silent. 

“Naruto,” he said around the scarf, feeling the insanity spiking, his chakra with it, into a chaotic ball inside of him, “get this goddamn scarf out of my face.”  

So incredibly smugly, Naruto said, “No, I don’t think I will.”

The scarf smelled sickly sweet—something floral and so feminine that Sasuke had gone rigid with disgust. The bottled fire uncapped and burst through Sasuke’s limbs, up his throat and into his eyes and he snarled ferally as the Mangekyo came to life, “Naruto, get your fucking shit off me.” 

“Fine.” 

Naruto grabbed the scarf and sat back on his heels, tossing the scarf half haphazardly onto Sasuke’s bed. He could not help it as his eyes followed the scarf, a streak of blood sailing through the air as it landed on the bed he had been sharing with Naruto just hours ago. Sasuke felt a wild laugh building just under his rib cage at the irony, but he forced himself to swallow it.

“I didn’t want to fight,” Naruto mumbled, looking tired and sad as he sat dejectedly on the floor with Sasuke, who had yet to move. “I just wanted to know what changed, ya know? You seemed good this morning.”

Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes. What was he supposed to say that he had not already said? Naruto was his one and only. And Sasuke did not like to share. Maybe it was because he’d already had so much taken from him, but he could not bear witness to Naruto falling in love. Maybe it was selfish or codependent, but Sasuke needed Naruto to be only his. If he had to leave in order to delude himself into believing that was the truth, then that’s what he would do. 

Aren’t we already like that? No, Sasuke despaired. They were not. 

“It’s Konoha, Naruto. What did you expect?”

Sasuke had a feeling Naruto knew he was taking the easy way out, but neither ninja did anything to negate his words. It wasn’t as if Sasuke was going to tell him the truth. He'd already devolved into picking fights because how on earth did he tell Naruto that he hated, absolutely loathed the idea of him and the Hyuga together. It was a topic he was not going to discuss. Now or ever. 

“Yeah. That's fair.” There was shuffling and Sasuke had the unfortunate idea to open his eyes to find Naruto rising from the floor to pick the scarf up from Sasuke’s bed. “I’ll let you pack. When you want to talk about it, you know where to find me, Sasuke.”

Once Naruto was gone, Sasuke lifted his head up from the floor and then knocked it back against the hardwood painfully. He wasn’t proud of what had just happened. Clearly, he needed more time before he would be able to deal with the repercussions of his own feelings. He’d have to apologize before he left. None of this was Naruto’s fault. 

Like always, it was undeniably and only Sasuke’s. 

Chapter Text

Naruto was sitting on his bed when Kurma decided he’d had enough of the wallowing. 

Kit, came the rough voice from inside him. I hate to agree with that demon, but the Uchiha was right. What were you expecting? Do you not remember the time you two fought over this and you cried because he didn’t send you a letter for five mont—

“Don’t call Sasuke a demon,” he muttered under his breath, interrupting the fox. Naruto refused to answer any other part of that question. He didn’t care what he and Sasuke had fought about. Sasuke was leaving . Again. Kurma picked up on his black mood and quieted, slipping away back into the fathomless ether that Naruto had created for him in his mindspace. 

Naruto could hear Sasuke shuffling around in the kitchen, but he still didn’t rise from his cross-legged position on his mattress. Their tussle in Sasuke’s room had been about two hours ago, and Naruto had only managed to work himself up more in the silence. Why did it feel like—like—like the ground was falling out from underneath him? And why did he feel like this every time Sasuke left? Naruto’s fingers tightened on the blanket underneath him. He was angry and he knew he shouldn’t be. Sasuke had so many reasons to hate being in Konoha, and even though Naruto had done a lot to change things, he wasn’t sure it would ever be enough for someone like Sasuke. Someone who saw grief in everything, in the future, in the past, in the lining of his shoes and the very path he walked. 

More than he was angry, Naruto ached. It was a selfish sort of ache, one that crawled up the back of his throat and made him feel sort of, well, funny. He didn’t really know what it meant. He did know that he had wanted, desperately, for Sasuke to stay. To walk around with him, to train together. For Sasuke to trip him and call him an idiot and maybe throw a kunai or two at him when Naruto was being stupid. To know Sasuke, more than he already did. Naruto sighed, and clutched the froggy stuffed animal in his lap to his chest. 

What was worse was that Naruto wished that just once, even if he might have said no, Sasuke had asked him to come with him. Futile. A fucking pipe dream. Naruto dragged the frog plushie up and squished his face into it and groaned so loudly that the soft fabric did nothing to smother the sound. In his shame (and anger. He was still pissed off that Sasuke wouldn’t tell him what had triggered all of this), he did not look up when he heard Sasuke kick his door open from where Naruto had left it ajar.

“Naruto.”

Naruto fell back onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t look at Sasuke or he’d crack—all it took was one glance at his features, so high and beautiful and that softness , only for Naruto. Always only for Naruto. The expression had been there since the war and even distance had not been able to push away the feeling that Sasuke did not look at anyone, talk to anyone, quite like he did with Naruto. But Sasuke wanted to leave. Probably to find someone else who would learn to make him smile and didn’t come with all the baggage of Konoha. Naruto’s thoughts made his heartbeat throb uncomfortably in the hollow of his throat. 

He’d been so happy today too, so looking forward to coming home and seeing Sasuke. Naruto had planned to talk the dark haired ninja’s ear off all night about the genin team and how impressed they’d been at his Nine Tails mode (he never got to use it anymore, missions were generally chill now that it was peacetime). He’d also been planning on asking Sasuke for advice about how to turn Hinata down even though he’d been an idiot and panicked and taken the scarf she had clearly spent so much time making him. 

And now Naruto was ignoring the one person he’d wanted to talk to all day because he had no idea what he was supposed to say. If they talked about Sasuke leaving he’d either get mad or cry and Naruto didn’t like either of those options. He sighed again, almost forgetting Sasuke was in the room with him. 

“Are you done throwing a tantrum?”

Naruto whipped up so fast that he almost crashed straight into the hard panes of Sasuke’s stomach. The other ninja had stealthily come to stand right at the edge of the bed, looking down at Naruto with a thinly veiled expression of mildly exhausted amusement. Naruto glared up at him, so tempted not to take the bait but bit anyways, because it was Sasuke.

“I’m the one throwing a tantrum? You’re an asshole.” Naruto headbutted him in the stomach. 

Sasuke didn’t even flinch, or—more surprisingly—move away when Naruto didn’t bother to lift his head. He just used the palm of his hand to press against Naruto’s forehead and pushed his head back until his eyes came back to Sasuke’s. 

“I’m sorry,” came the foreign words out of what was surely an imposter’s mouth. 

Naruto blinked wildly up at him. If he wasn’t so attuned to Sasuke’s chakra that he’d know him anywhere, blind or deaf or dead, he would have attacked the imposter right then and there.

“Who are you and what have you done with Sasuke,” he demanded, earning a frown from Sasuke, who shoved his head back with a bit more force.

“I got you ramen.”

Naruto’s resolve to be angry died in the rising tide of overwhelming affection for his best friend. He really knew Naruto like the back of his hand, didn’t he? And he’d apologized. Still hadn’t asked Naruto to come with him, but…

“I didn’t even hear you leave! And just because I’m going to go in there and eat it,” Naruto tried his best for a withering glare but was already failing at the slight wrinkle in Sasuke’s brow that meant he was concerned, “doesn’t mean I forgive you for leaving so soon.” 

Sasuke’s hand fell from Naruto’s face, but not before it grazed down the size of his cheekbone. The feeling of something stuck in Naruto’s throat came surging back and he averted his eyes at the warmth pooling in Sasuke’s mismatched eyes. What was this fluttering, bursting pain he kept feeling? It curled just under his ribcage and seemed to only come alive when Sasuke was close, when Sasuke hurt him in the way only Sasuke could—

Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Naruto interrupted his own thoughts bitterly and furrowed his brows. Whatever. He’d figure it out eventually. Until then, he was going to drag every second out with his best friend that he could. 

Sasuke had already made his way across the room, knowing he’d hooked Naruto, and turned back to look at him over his shoulder. “Are you coming or not?”

Of course he was. Chasing Sasuke was the only thing he knew how to do. 

“Bastard,” he said, but it sounded more like always to Naruto’s ears than it ever had before. 

The table was already set. Naruto glanced from the dinner laid out on his table to Sasuke with wide eyes. How did he even have time– “You went and got this right after?”

“Shut up.”

A goofy grin spread over Naruto’s face and he pulled Sasuke into a quick, unwilling hug that the other squirmed out of in a matter of seconds. Naruto let him go, not wanting to piss him off, and sat down to eat. 

“Okay,” he said, mouth already half full of noodles by the time Sasuke had sat down, “you might be awesome for this. And maybe I forgive you. What do you want to do tonight? We could watch a movie or go out or I don’t know, whatever you want to do.”

Out of the corner of his eye, while eating his ramen (gods, he really loved ramen), he watched Sasuke sit back after taking a bite. A thoughtful line creased his ivory forehead, his bangs falling over his Rinnegan as he debated Naruto’s question. His eyes skimmed the room, pausing on the bookshelf and then resuming their journey back to Naruto’s face. 

Tentatively, Sasuke suggested, “Hokage Mountain?”

“Aw, Sasuke,” Naruto teased, letting his fork clatter against his bowl, “do you want to watch the sunset with me?” He placed a hand to his heart in a faux swoon and snickered as Sasuke’s eyes went wide and he ducked his head to hide the pink that tinted his cheeks. His inky hair swayed slightly over his face, his full mouth twisting in irritation. How he looked so pretty while pulling such an ugly face was a mystery, but Naruto enjoyed it all the same. 

Naruto leaned forward and grinned, watching Sasuke’s mood sour endearingly. 

“You sure know how to woo a guy.”

“Idiot,” Sasuke muttered, his shoulders tense, “forget it.”

Naruto smiled widely, thrilled at the sight of a blushing Sasuke. The color on his high cheekbones was a rarity Naruto didn’t get to see much. He nudged Sasuke’s calf under the table with his foot and said, “No, no. I want to, you big ol’ romantic.” 

Sasuke began to relax, remaining a bit pink, but Naruto wasn’t done. He shoveled the rest of his ramen into his mouth and said, casually, “You’re cute when you blush. No wonder all the girls were crazy for you.” 

Naruto laughed even harder when Sasuke kicked him under the table, almost snorting a noodle out of his nose. He wasn’t wrong though—embarrassment looked precious on Sasuke. He resembled a kitten who had just been dunked in a river that might slice you to ribbons if you came too close. Naruto kind of loved it.

They made their way through Konoha like the early spring wind, slow, lazily. Naruto conned Sasuke into stopping at least four different street vendors that had taken advantage of the lovely weather, all for food of course. Except the last one, where Sasuke had given him a death glare when Nartuo had disappeared for about ten minutes and left him to fend for himself. But he’d save that for later. 

The sun was already dipping below the horizon when they reached their designated spot for the evening, a nice hidden ledge between the Fourth and Fifth’s heads (behind one of his dad’s spikes of hair) that Naruto had scoped out years and years ago. He swelled with pride when Sasuke looked mildly impressed at the view. It wasn’t a big ledge by any means, so when Naruto sat down beside Sasuke, their thighs and shoulders were squished together. The swell in his chest swole even larger at the proximity, so much that he thought he might burst when Sasuke didn’t shift away but instead relaxed against him and the mountain. Entranced, both by the novelty of Sasuke letting him be this close and just the sight of him as he leaned his long, elegant neck back, head thudding against the rock as he watched the sunset. The golden light made him look so warm, so alive—

“Dobe.” Sasuke’s mouth had turned up in the corner, “You’re staring again.”

“Tsk.” Naruto shifted his eyes to the sunset, watching the rays bathe Konoha in a rich, amber orange. The nostalgia of when he would come up here by himself almost every evening and imagine what people, the families, were doing down below hit him hard. “You’re imagining things, S’ke.”

Sasuke didn’t say anything to that, but Naruto knew he’d been caught and honestly, he didn’t care. He was feeling particularly sentimental (when wasn’t he) so he leaned back, pressing further into Sasuke, and let the wind blow through his hair as he watched the sky turn blue to lavender and pink. Sasuke was unnaturally warm, but as the night gradually approached with its bitter breath, Naruto found himself grateful that the ledge was small and that Sasuke was the one to fill up the space beside him. It had felt so large to him as a child, so empty. And look at him now. He’d always imagined showing this to Sasuke, and it was just as monumental as he’d thought—maybe even more so. But his moments with Sasuke were often like that. Better than Naruto could have hoped.

“It’s nice,” Sasuke offered after a while, his rich, deep voice startling Naruto from his observation of a hawk circling a few feet below them. 

“Huh?” Naruto jerked his head sideways to look at Sasuke and was caught, viscerally, like someone had him by the throat, by how close Sasuke’s face was. Sasuke blinked at him patiently.

“Oh,” he felt himself say stupidly, “yes. Really nice. Ridiculously pretty.”

Here is where Naruto’s brain caught up with his mouth—that he had said that while gazing at Sasuke and was still looking at him, couldn’t really stop looking at him, not when he was this close, why were they this close and had his eyelashes always been so long? His chin had filled out since they were teenagers, though his cheekbones were still so sleek and sloping and elegant, just like the black and lavender pools of his eyes. His eyes that were watching Naruto with incredibly dry amusement. Right. What was he thinking again? Sasuke was so close. Like, almost as close as that time at the Academy right before they–

“Me or the view?”

“Phshh, what?” Naruto’s head whipped back around to the sunset—which had slipped past the horizon—and he attempted to stop the blush crawling up the back of his neck and to ignore the shaking beside him as Sasuke laughed quietly at his reaction. 

“The view, obviously,” Naruto got out, but that only seemed to make Sasuke laugh harder, and Naruto hadn’t seen him laugh in so long– 

He broke and twisted back to see Sasuke’s eyes and nose screwed up, his hand coming up to cover his smile. Naruto’s heart turned liquid in his chest and burned all the way down to his fingertips that moved, without his permission, and wrapped around Sauke’s wrist to bring his hand down. Naruto wasn’t sure he was breathing. Sasuke really was beautiful when he smiled. Like, like—like starlight. Naruto went a bit red again at his own thoughts, at the way Sasuke was looking at him, eyebrows raised, his smile fading into mild curiosity. 

“Uh,” Naruto fumbled, pulling Sasuke’s hand toward him like that had been the plan all along (it definitely hadn’t) and reached around into his pocket and fished his present out. He pressed the two, tiny figurines into Sasuke’s palm and curled his fingers around them before allowing Sasuke his hand back. “Here.” 

Sasuke did not glance at his hand, his mismatched eyes fixated on Naruto’s face. “What are they?”

“Open your hand and see, bastard,” Naruto said with a grin, shoving his shoulder into Sasuke’s playfully. 

Sasuke obeyed and unfurled his hand to reveal two, wooden carved figurines, each about half an inch in size. One was a dark yellow toad with blue eyes and the other was a black cat with gold eyes. The woodcarver had been so nice when he’d slipped away to his booth, he’d even offered to make Naruto a custom one when Naruto had lamented that the black cat didn’t have purple eyes. Naruto had assured him they were perfect. Now that he was facing Sasuke’s opinion, he wondered if it had been stupid. If Sasuke would even want something as dumb as a little self-representing figurine.

“It’s us! I’m the little toad and you’re the little cat.” Naruto pointed to the figurines correspondingly and then glanced up at Sasuke. “Do you like it?”

Sasuke’s eyes were stuck on the figurines, his mouth pinched in that funny way Naruto knew meant he was trying to smother an emotion he didn’t want Naruto to see. The problem was that Naruto wanted to see. 

“Sasuke?” Naruto asked again, softer. 

Sasuke’s hand closed, almost possessively, over the figurines. He didn’t look at Naruto, instead gazing listlessly out at the stars that had begun poking through the navy sky, fist clenched in front of him. 

“I like it.” 

He was wound so tight, with so much that he clearly refused to let go. Naruto wished, not for the first time, that there was something more that he could do. Something to ease the burden off of Sasuke’s shoulders, because wasn’t that what you did for your most precious person? Wasn’t that Naruto’s place, his purpose? Naruto reached for Sasuke’s hand and skimmed his fingers over Sasuke’s knuckles lightly. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Naruto murmured, retracting his hand when Sasuke inhaled sharply at his touch.

At his words or him pulling away, Sasuke shook his head, the movement almost imperceptible. “You didn’t upset me.” 

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing,” Sasuke said, and finally glanced at Naruto. His eyes were shining. “I—it’s been a long time since someone has given me something like this. Thank you, Naruto.”

“Well,” Naruto smiled, and this one was soft, gentle, for Sasuke, “as long as I’m here, you won’t have to go long without the little things.”

The returning smile that Sasuke gave him then was more beautiful than any star Naruto could compare him to—his next words more precious than anything Naruto owned, more precious than all of the missions in the world or love from the village he’d ever received. 

“I know.”

Sasuke didn’t offer the figurines back, so Naruto didn’t ask. Hell, for all Naruto cared, he could have both of them. He felt like he’d paid pocket change for a rare jewel, the way Sasuke had smiled at him. Naruto had never seen Sasuke smile like that at anyone, before or after the war.

Every beat of his heart cried that it was special, that this was right, that nothing—no amount of time or space—could ever take or replace or even begin to compare to the bond they had. So why was it so bittersweet? Why did Naruto feel like these moments were never enough? Would he spend his whole life wanting more?

A  chill of despondency ran through Naruto when they rose to return to Naruto’s apartment. He missed Sasuke’s warmth immediately, the night too chilly for the plain white longsleeve he’d opted for. They walked in complete silence and by the time that they were inside and kicking their shoes off, Naruto was sure that he couldn’t live without knowing what Sasuke was thinking. If he would miss Naruto just as much as Naruto was already missing him. 

“Sasuke, I—”

Sasuke turned to him, the moonlight pouring through the apartment windows onto his flawless features. Naruto almost shook his head at his earlier thoughts. Of course Sasuke wasn’t a star. He was a colossal power, right here in front of Naruto, drawing him in with those dark eyes and electric chakra. The moon to Naruto’s sun. Here, at this moment, Naruto’s orbit was complete. In the morning, Sasuke would be gone, and he would be spinning in space again. Restless. Tired. Always searching for what was right in front of him. And yet, Naruto found himself asking the one question he had avoided since Sasuke’s arrival. 

“When will you leave?”

“Naruto.” 

He did not want him to go.

“When?”

“Early. Do you want me to wake you?”

Yes. No. No. How can you ask me to watch you leave again?

“Nah. I don’t want to slow you down.” 

“Are you—do you want a glass?” Sasuke had slipped past him into the kitchen, and was getting a glass of water. Naruto hadn’t moved from where he’d taken his shoes off. Hadn’t taken his eyes off of Sasuke.

He didn’t understand it—the despair that was crawling up his body, hysteria and rage rearing their ugly heads as he tried to fight his thoughts down. How could he just leave again? Didn’t he know Naruto’s heart? Couldn’t he see that he took pieces of Naruto with him each time he left, and every time he returned, there was less to take? So why? Why did Sasuke insist on leaving him behind when Naruto—Naruto—he sucked in a quick breath at the terrifying thought. But he’d had it before, and here he was having it again.

He didn’t know how to live without him. 

Well, he did. He could. He just didn’t want to. Never had. 

“Here,” Sasuke said as he sat a glass down on the edge of the counter, like an offering. 

Naruto didn’t move to take it, immobilized by the anxiety of not seeing him again. Would it hurt like this, like a knife cutting up his lungs, when he woke up tomorrow and Sasuke was gone? Or would it be hollower, emptier, like when Sasuke had discarded their friendship for power? Naruto had a feeling he knew which one it would be. And he hated it. Hated Sasuke, just for a second, for making him feel the way Naruto had felt his whole life—like nothing. Unseen. Disposable. Unwanted.

“Naruto.” Sasuke had come around the corner of the counter and was approaching him with a frown. “Is something wrong?” 

Naruto acted on instinct, on the fear ripping through his body that Sasuke was leaving and he was never coming back, that this could be the last time that he ever saw him or heard him say his name or laugh or breathe, and lunged forward, jerking Sasuke into a bone crushing hug.

Naruto did not care that he could feel Sasuke stiffen. He smothered himself into all the folds of Sasuke’s body and held on like he could fit himself there forever. His forehead was pressed into the soft skin of Sasuke’s neck, his eyes shut tight as he tried to memorize the smell of him, the feel of his lungs contracting, the beat of his heart against Naruto’s. 

“Sasuke,” he whispered, “be safe.” 

Naruto could not let go, not yet not yet, and he nearly melted to the floor in relief when Sasuke’s arm went around his lower back and pulled Naruto into an equally bone crushing embrace. Sasuke titled his head to where his jaw was resting against the back of Naruto’s head. 

“I will be,” he said, lowly, the tips of his fingers digging into Naruto’s back almost like he wanted to press Naruto into himself, take him with him. So why didn’t he? 

“And you’ll write.” 

Sasuke nodded against Naruto’s hair. 

“And you’ll come back, asshole,” Naruto left no room for debate in his demand. “Within the year.” 

He could feel Sasuke’s hesitation in the way the strong muscles in his back tensed at the ask. Naruto withdrew from the hug just enough to see Sasuke’s face. Sasuke let go of him and Naruto thought his heart might break right then and there. 

But Sasuke didn’t go far. 

He was scanning Naruto’s face, a flash of red in the darkness as the Mangeko pinwheeled the memory away, locking it in the photographic memory Naruto would forever be jealous of. It wasn't fair that Sasuke would remember this with perfect clarity. Maybe he could share it with Naruto, one day, when his memory lagged and things became fuzzy around the edges. Naruto hoped he would. 

There was a strange look of uncertainty in Sasuke’s tomoed eyes when he brought his hand up to cup Naruto’s face. Sasuke’s touch was warm and electric, and Naruto’s blood went white hot when his thumb brushed underneath his jaw. Sasuke was close again, close enough to keep, enough to—Naruto’s eyes dropped to his mouth and then back up to his eyes. 

Sasuke let his hand fall and promised, “I’ll come back.”

When Naruto woke in the morning, the little black cat figurine was sitting on his nightstand. A sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and as he reached out to pat a good morning between the cat’s ears, the hollowness felt a bit less hollow.

Chapter Text

He regretted leaving.

Sasuke exhaled heavily through his nose before peering cautiously around the corner of the alleyway he’d managed to get himself stuck in. He’d been tailing a ninja from the group that had taken over Ame for little over a week, hoping the short red haired nin would lead him to the one that was calling himself Kage. All he’d ended up with was shoes full of water and now—he scanned the intersecting road he’d just come off—Sasuke was pretty sure he’d been made. The ninja was nowhere to be found and now he was the one being tracked. Not that he particularly cared if whoever it was caught up to him. Easy work, most likely, but it would blow his cover. 

Feeling he was in the clear, Sasuke sighed and sagged slightly against the rough brick of the alley. His head fell back to the sky, letting the near constant rain of Amegakure splatter across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. He’d been thinking about Naruto all day, ever since he’d seen a colorful frog scamper across his path. His hand drifted over the left chest pocket of his cloak before he thought better of it and let his hand fall back down to his side.

Missing Naruto felt like a kunai twisted into his side that he could not reach. Sasuke should have stayed a few more days. Just for a few more moments, like that last goodbye. The widening of Naruto’s eyes, the way they had fallen to Sasuke’s mouth and then back up to his eyes—so quick. It replayed, viciously, in Sasuke’s thoughts every night. He hadn’t been able to sleep since. So, he’d come to the conclusion today that he regretted leaving. Not Konoha. Sasuke never minded putting as much distance in between himself and Konoha as possible. He regretted leaving Naruto. Sasuke wanted to laugh. Nothing had really changed at all, had it?

He should have stayed. What was the act of one pathetic Hyuga in the face of the Sharingan? Sasuke should have just put her in a genjutsu, fucked with her mind a bit, and been done with it. A faint smile threatened to curl up the corner of his mouth. Naruto would have punched him if he’d heard that. It unnerved Sasuke that he’d give almost anything, other than swallowing his pride and returning to Konoha, to have Naruto within punching distance. 

Sasuke sighed again, a bit too loudly. 

A lean female ninja with dark blue hair and piercing blue eyes flashed around the corner and into the alleyway. Her brows furrowed in anger and she swore, turning back to her partner—the red haired one—and promised that she had just seen Sasuke. 

Well, Sasuke thought as he swapped places with one of the pebbles lining his temporary front door, she wasn’t wrong. The ninja had seen Sasuke. He’d been slow to cover his tracks because he’d seen that stupid frog. She hadn’t seen through the genjutsu he’d put her under when she turned the corner and unintentionally made eye contact with him.

He’d try again tomorrow. For now, all he wanted was to be dry for a few hours. He’d secured a rental house on the outskirts of Amegakure. It was small, everything was in one room, but it was enough for him.  

Sasuke froze the moment he unlocked the front door. There was someone inside. The chakra was familiar, watery. His mouth twisted in displeasure.

“Suigetsu. Come out.”

A chuckling, white haired figure twisted up from the bucket Sasuke had shoved underneath to catch a leak in the room. “No hello? My, my, Sasuke,” Suigetsu bared his sharklike teeth at Sasuke in a smile as he stepped out of the bucket, “what a rude way to greet an old friend.”

Frowning at the ninja dripping water all over his floors, Sasuke kicked the door shut behind him. He didn’t waste time with pleasantries—if Suigetsu was here, it was because he had information. “What have you found?”

“Well, you were right. They’re all former ninjas from other Hidden Villages. Most of them lost everything during the war and moved here. They seem to be trying to build a ninja network for Ame. They’re taking new recruits.” 

Not good. Sasuke’s response was sharp, “Children?”

Suigetsu shrugged, “Yeah, I think so. Not sure where they’re coming from, but there were definitely kids training at their base. Here.” He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and tossed it to Sasuke. “That’s a map leading to their base.”

Sasuke opened the map, momentarily wondering why it was not wet, before inspecting it. Whoever these ninja were, they weren’t bothering to hide themselves, not if Suigetsu found them in a day. He’d have to write to Kakashi, then. The sixth might want to try diplomacy first, since they were well established and had children with them– “Do they have connections with the civilians?”

Sasuke had heard whispers of the rising Amekage from many villagers in his undercover work, but he’d heard nothing concrete. Even though he’d been here for almost two months, whatever was happening, it was happening very quietly. 

Suigetsu looked thoughtful, “I overheard a few ninjas bartering a deal for weapons supply with a civilian store owner. But that’s all I heard. Do you want me to do more digging?” 

“No,” Sasuke said, turning his back as he unclasped his cloak and hung it up. “I’ll take it from here. Thank you, Suigetsu.” Though his words were clearly a dismissal, Suigetsu had never known when to shut up. 

“Hey, no problem, Sasuke. You know, you could return the favor and come visit us out in Sound sometime. Karin would love to see you.”

Sasuke turned with a disapproving look and Suigetsu laughed. 

“That’s what I figured, but I told her I’d tell you that she misses you. I also told her that she doesn’t have a chance in hell considering Naruto is still very much alive and kicking.” 

The temperature in the room turned static, thunderous, as Sasuke’s chakra spiked. Suigetsu smiled knowingly, but there was a hint of fear behind his eyes. Good, Sasuke thought, as he reigned himself in. He wouldn’t entertain Suigetsu’s idiotic taunts. 

“Tell Jugo I said hello,” was all Sasuke said back, and stepped aside so that Suigetsu could see the door. The gesture was more than enough to signal he was done, but Suigetsu just had to keep going as he inched closer and closer to the door. He was lucky that Sasuke valued his life with the shit that came out of his mouth next.

“Won’t your boyfriend get jealous? He didn’t seem to like how close we were last time–”

Sasuke’s fist tightened as a crack of his Chidori sounded through the small house. Naruto was jealous of Taka, but merely for the sake of their friendship. Naruto was seeing the Hyuga. Sasuke really hadn’t wanted to think about that. A wave of rage threatened to activate his Sharingan. 

His voice turned cold. “Mention him again, and I will drop you into a desert dimension and leave you there.”

“Hey, woah!” Suigetsu held up his palms in surrender, lilac eyes flying wide as he let out a nervous laugh. “No need for that, Sasuke. I’m leaving, I’m leaving.”

Just as he was closing the door, Suigetsu stuck his head back in and said, “Just to be clear, I never said Naruto was your boyfriend. You assumed that part.” The door slammed shut behind him as he took off, a pale streak disappearing down the walkway to Sasuke’s house. 

Sasuke’s mouth tightened into a thin line. He didn’t have time to go after the freak, but if he did…his katana gleamed up at him from its place in the corner behind the door. Sasuke closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to go after Suigetsu. It wasn’t worth it and if anything, would just prove Suigetsu’s comments right. Not that it mattered if Suigetsu knew, because Sasuke was fairly sure he’d figured that out years ago when Naruto had been Sasuke’s only exception to, well, everything. What did it matter? It wasn’t as if it would change anything. 

Sasuke’s chakra smoothed over, but it still roiled, black and dark, long after he’d showered and laid down on the single bed. Suigetsu’s words had soured his mood considerably. He stared up at the cracked ceiling, his curled fist rising up and down from where it rested on his chest. Boyfriend. Sasuke scoffed at the word, but couldn’t deny the anger and hurt that rose up in his throat. 

He and Naruto were more than that. More than friends or romantic partners, they were two halves of a whole. Only understood truly by the other. Sasuke had never been interested in romance—not when his entire purpose for living had been to kill his brother and then die. He still wasn’t. Whatever it was he felt for Naruto, it wasn’t romance.

It was—it was—Sasuke turned over on his side and opened his hand to find the wooden frog figurine staring back at him. Its eyes were blue, but not nearly as blue as Naruto’s. No one’s ever were. Sasuke couldn’t take his eyes off the frog as his thoughts whirled. Naruto was the reason he was alive. Naruto was his best friend. Naruto had changed Sasuke’s entire world from the moment he had met him, and not just Sasuke’s world, but the world itself. He was the only thing Sasuke had ever truly believed in. Was that romance? Sasuke clenched his fist, and held it against the beat of his heart. He didn’t think so. 

What he felt for Naruto was more like religion. Violent, churning, ever present, filled with a passion neither of them really understood. He was in Sasuke’s very bones, in the beat of his heart. Sasuke had never felt faith, not until he woke up in the hospital and saw Naruto grinning down at him, the bitter morning light brightening his hair almost unbearably. He had said, I told you I would bring you back. And Sasuke had known then that Naruto would remain with him until the day he died. That after, Naruto would find him there too. 

Sasuke blinked, trying to bring himself back to his body. There was an unopened letter on his nightstand that had been staring at him for the past month. He hadn’t been able to open it. Scared, most likely, that he had hurt Naruto again. He was always hurting Naruto. Sasuke had never told Naruto that he was not atoning for his sins against Konoha. Those sins were reciprocal. Konoha had done things to deserve Sasuke’s hatred, his violence. But Naruto—

Sasuke sighed and set the frog down on his nightstand before grabbing the letter and standing. He went to the kitchen and set the letter down on the table that was beside a large window overlooking the glittering lights of Amegakure. Leaving it there, he filled his kettle and set it on the stove. Once he had no other way to distract himself, Sasuke pulled out a chair and sat, staring at the letter. What had Naruto said? What if it was an important update? No. Naruto would have sent more by now, if he needed an answer. So, that meant it was personal. Sasuke grabbed the letter and tore a corner off, unfolding it before he could overthink it any longer. 

Sasuke, 

I was going to tell you, when we were up on the Hokage Mountain, that the sunset is the reason orange is my favorite color. I don’t think I’ve told anyone that, but I wanted to tell you because I know you hate the color (you really shouldn’t, it’s so bright and warm!) and also because you’re you. And then I was going to ask you if you thought sunset orange was ugly or if it’s just my tracksuits that you hate, but then I got distracted and well, I guess I’m asking you now what you think. And why is purple your favorite color? Is it still your favorite color? Blue used to be. I can get behind blue. Purple just seems so soft for someone like you. Not that I mean that in a bad way! But you’re not very soft, are you? I always thought blue suited you really well. Though you could probably wear any color and it doesn’t mean it's your favorite. Anyways, miss you. Hope you’re staying safe. Tell me all about Ame. 

From, Naruto

Sasuke read it twice. A third time. He was halfway through a fourth read when the kettle started screaming and he sat it down to make himself a cup of tea. Sasuke shook his head at himself, at his own assumptions. He shouldn’t have avoided the letter for so long. Naruto was fine. He hadn’t mentioned their fight or the godforsaken Hyuga. Sasuke had probably made matters worse by not responding and he needed to report to Kakashi anyway. Well, that’s what he’d tell himself.

Sasuke took out a piece of parchment and began writing.

Chapter Text

Naruto had been avoiding everyone.

He’d been going to work (he’s not that depressed) but he’d seen Sakura about twice since she’d got back a month ago and the rest of his friends only that one time at the barbecue they’d dragged him to last week because he kept saying he needed to study. Shikamaru had called his bluff and told him at the Tower to quit pouting that Sasuke had left and to come have fun with them. Naruto had argued with him for so long that Shikamaru had given up on the lesson and instructed him to be there or else he’d tell Sakura that Naruto hadn’t been sleeping. How the fuck Shika had known that, Nartuo didn’t want to know. Needless to say, he’d gone to the barbecue. Anything to prevent Saukra’s insane treatment regimens for insomnia. 

His letter to Sasuke had been met with radio silence, which had only worsened his worrying. What if Sasuke didn’t write back? What if he was hurt—no, Naruto trusted Sasuke’s capabilities. He didn’t think there was another ninja alive besides himself that could ever beat Sasuke. And now that Sasuke had mastered the Rinnegan, even a fight between the two of them would be a close call. Naruto sighed, slumping further into his couch, flicking through his manga disinterestedly. A sharp pecking on his window had him shooting up, book flying into the floor, as he raced to let Yuna in.

“Yuna!” His chest was vibrating, the smile on his face splitting as he stroked the messenger hawk’s silky feathers. “Man, am I glad to see you! I was getting worried about Sasuke.” 

Yuna tipped her head at Naruto and gave him a strange look before nipping at his hand and ruffling her wings loudly. 

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, taking the scroll holder from her back, “you got it. Sasuke’s impatient for a response, huh? Or do you just want to get back home?”

Yuna narrowed her golden eyes at him before swiveling her head away, as if she was declining to respond. The gesture reminded Naruto so much of Sasuke that he smiled again. His whole apartment felt brighter somehow as he opened the letter. Maybe he would get out after this and go say hello to his friends. 

Naruto, 

Orange is fine. I will concede that the sunset is not as garish as your tracksuits, but I don’t mind those either. They make you look like the dumbass you are. My favorite color is still blue. It’s also purple. Since you told me your reason, I’ll tell you mine. I like the way the sky looks before a thunderstorm. 

Tell Kakashi that the ninja are trying to set up a network, something resembling a Hidden Village, here in Amegakure. They’re recruiting children, but seem to have a good relationship with the villagers. I will wait for his instructions on how to proceed.  

- Sasuke

“Before a thunderstorm,” Naruto muttered good naturedly, “I should have known.” 

Yuna turned back to the window and then glanced at Naruto again. The sky was turning a dewy shade of blue and purple as dusk settled in, the wind sharp and rattling his window planes. 

“Yeah, you go ahead.” He patted her head once more before saying, “I’ll have to talk to Kakashi before I can send a letter back, so go on. I’ll have a response here in a few hours.” 

Yuna eyed him for a moment, almost like she was about to demand he write it right now, and then turned and took off, powerful wings propelling her lithe figure up and away into the wind. Naruto laid the letter down on his coffee table, going to his room to get properly dressed, when a knock on his door startled him. 

He wouldn’t lie, a huge part of him wanted it to be Sasuke (look, a guy coiuld dream), but finding Iruka outside his door holding a bag of steaming hot ramen was also pretty cool. Even if Naruto hadn’t eaten Ichiraku since Sasuke left, he’d never turn down free ramen. Talking to Kakashi could wait after ramen, couldn’t it?

“Hey, Naruto,” Iruka greeted him with a smile, lifting the take out bag up. “I thought I’d swing by and we could share some dinner.”

Naruto glanced behind him, back into his apartment, to make sure there was nothing crazy disgusting there before he grinned back at his sensei. “That sounds great! Come on in.”

As he ushered Iruka inside, he cleaned off his table and flipped the light switch on. He’d been struggling to do the little things for himself recently (something his post-war therapist would have clicked her tongue at), but he was keeping his plants alive and journaling (if you could call obsessive Sasuke addressed letters he would never send journaling). Naruto figured he was fine. Okay, maybe not fine. He’d been fine before Sasuke came back and twisted Naruto’s heart into a shape he couldn’t recognize. He would be fine. He’d gotten over Sasuke leaving plenty of times before. Naruto’s mouth turned down into an exhausted frown as he and Iruka sat down together. Would his life just be a recurrence of these feelings?

Tuning out his own thoughts, Naruto plastered a wide smile over his face as began opening the food. They caught up through the meal, Iruka discussing how the genin were doing, Naruto droning on about Shikamaru and Kakashi. Naruto appreciated that his sensei never mentioned the elephant in the room as they talked. He hadn’t been back to the Academy to help since Sasuke had left—he hadn’t been able to. Just the sight of the building seemed to send him into a pit of despairing nostalgia. Maybe this would help him get over it, the reminder that even if he wouldn’t find anything but the ghost of himself and Sasuke at the Academy, there would always be Iruka there to cheer him up. 

After they were finished, bellies full and Naruto’s loud laughter warming the small apartment, Iruka’s eyes snagged on the red scarf Naruto had hastily hung up on the coat rack. He hadn’t used it—something Hinata seemed very dejected about when he’d gone to the barbecue, but Naruto couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he didn’t think he liked her when he was so down already. 

The corner of Iruka’s mouth quirked fondly, “Is that from Hinata-chan?”

“Yeah,” Naruto said dejectedly. He still had no clue how to go about telling her without getting roped into a date because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. 

Iruka’s forehead wrinkled in confusion at his tone. “You don’t like her? I would be careful about accepting any more gifts from her if you don’t,” he started to scold but Naruto beat him to it. 

“I know,” he burst out, hands going wide with his dilemma, “but I have no idea what to say to her! I don’t think I like her like that, but I don’t know if I know what liking someone feels like!”

Iruka’s scold morphed into his teacher-expression when a kid asked a question he didn’t know how to answer right away. “What do you mean you don’t know what it's like to like someone? Didn’t you have a crush on Sakura?”

“I thought I did, but then it faded and we became more like teammates and so I started thinking about it and I was like, do I even know why I liked her? I liked the color of her hair and that she wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself or others? But what else is there? Like what else am I supposed to feel to know when I want to actually date someone? Would I even know if I were feeling it?”

“I think you would know,” Iruka said, looking thoughtful. He tapped his finger against his chin, and then explained, “It’s pretty simple. You like someone romantically when you want to be around them all the time, when their smile and laugh is your favorite, when you’re really, really happy spending time with them. You want to do everything with them. Your heart rate goes up when they get close and you get butterflies in your stomach because you want to be close to them. Why? Is there someone you—Naruto?”

Naruto had gone stock still, his heart sliding up into his throat and then all the way down his throat and straight out of his body. He literally felt the blood drain from his face, the nausea that spiked, as he had the worst intrusive thought of his life. Was it an intrusive thought, though? He gripped the table between his hands, desperate to ground himself. 

No, no, no. No. He hadn’t thought that. He hadn’t. 

That was the only possible way forward, because there was no way his brain had answered each of those sentences with the thought of one person, and one person only. Naruto blinked, but it was slow, forced. It had been a mistake. Iruka didn’t know what he was talking about. 

Naruto knew though. He knew who he wanted to be around all the time, who’s smile and laugh was his favorite. Who he wanted to do everything with, who he had always wanted to be close to. Naruto had chased him around the world just to have it again—their fighting, bickering in each other’s faces, kicking each other in their sleep, reaching for him when he left, because he was always leaving. Whose presence made Naruto feel whole. 

“Uh…earth to Naruto?”

Iruka was waving his hands in front of his face, and Naruto blinked again, still totally blank with shock and dread and denial. 

“Why do you have that look on your face?” Iruka said kindly, concern forming in the crease of his eyebrows. A light went off in the brown of his irises as they flew wide, “Oh my god, is it Sas—”

Naruto had never started shouting or shot up out of a seat so loudly or so fucking fast in his entire life, “GOODBYE IRUKA-SENSEI THANKYOUSOMUCHFORTHERAMEN, I HAVE TO GO DO SOMETHING, BYE!” He took a hold of Iruka’s shoulder’s and pulled him up, out of his chair, and shoved him out of the front door, slamming it unceremoniously in his face when Iruka opened his mouth to say something more. 

The minute Iruka was out of the door, Naruto collapsed immediately onto the couch, his hands buried in his hair, a manic fear contorting his face. Naruto stared blankly at his coffee table, not seeing it or the letter laying atop it. There was no way— no.

No. 

He just wouldn’t think about it. He would not, because Iruka had to be wrong, because he had never thought about kissing Sasuke and they had already kissed twice. But did those really count as kisses? It had really just hurt, all teeth and force the second time. He wasn’t sure if he even really remembered the first time, to be honest. He was pretty sure he had blacked out the moment their mouths touched because his heart rate had spiked so suddenly. And surely that had just been fear and embarrassment, right?

But then he was thinking about Sasuke’s mouth, the cut of his smirk and the way no, Naruto definitely had thought about that. And he’d thought about it when he smiled soft too, the way his mouth looked so different and yet still so unfairly beautiful. He hadn’t thought about kissing him though. The thought had the room shrinking. Shit. No, he was definitely not thinking about it. Not about how Sasuke would respond if he ever did kiss him. A wild variety of scenarios immediately flashed through his head and Naruto stopped breathing. 

Where the fuck, he bent over and tried to inhale, had that come from?

Sasuke was going to fucking kill him. Naruto was almost sick at the thought. No, he cried to himself. He hadn’t thought about it. Never. Iruka was wrong. And he definitely had not just imagined touching Sasuke, putting his hands on those slender but powerful hips, or pulling him in to fit against Naruto—God, what the hell was wrong with him? He couldn’t think like this. He couldn’t. Sasuke was his best friend. Sasuke was—was—he was everything. 

Naruto closed his eyes shut so tightly it hurt. He hadn't thought that either. Or, really, hadn’t he always thought that? Was he just so fucking dense that this entire time, all his actions and thoughts were so clearly obsessive and oh, oh, no. What if that was why Sasuke had left? Because Naruto hadn’t been able to stop touching him, talking to him, looking at him. What if Sasuke—

Naruto. Kurama’s voice thundered through his skull. Stop thinking so loudly. You’re going to give yourself a panic attack, you weakling. You weren’t any more obsessive over the Uchiha than usual when he was here.

“But what if he realized that’s not normal—”

So, are you admitting to—

“NO!” Naruto yelled and one of his neighbor’s thumped on the wall in retaliation. It didn’t help with his frantically pounding heart. He felt sick. So sick. He needed to see Sasuke immediately because what if Naruto did feel that way? Did he tell him? Would he know the moment he saw him? No, Naruto couldn’t tell him. Sasuke might murder him. Actually.

Naruto shivered and then promptly went back to freaking out. 

“Kurama,” he said, sounding thoroughly miserable, “what do I do? Do I go see him? What if I see him and I’m like, absolutely in love with him?”

What if you’re not? Kurama responded sagely. Either way, you’re going to drive us both insane if you don’t figure it out. 

“No, no,” Naurto was already second guessing himself, and then, “I mean maybe you’re right. Ugh, I don’t know. I mean, I’m not. Like there’s no way I like that bastard. Right? You would know?”

Kurama’s silence made Naruto blanch.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” He yelled again and this time his neighbor shouted back. Naruto almost told them to fuck off. He was having a crisis! Gods forbid a man (wait, Sasuke was also a man? How the hell did that even work?) … the rest of Naruto’s once-coherent thought tipped into confusion and then painful embarrassment. A red flush began working up his neck as he tried desperately to dispel the images his own consciousness had conjured up in answer to his question. Was it hot in this room? 

He could feel Kurama curling up his lip in distaste. All I’ll say is the way you feel toward the Uchiha is more blinding than the repulsive feelings Kushina had for that flashy ninja. I’m leaving now. I no longer wish to hear your thoughts.

With that, Kurama departed from their shared mindspace, leaving Naruto motionless in his living room, still all out panicking. There was no way he would be able to focus on anything else until he knew for sure that he was—he was—

Naruto couldn’t even think it. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Just continue existing or go find Sasuke? Naruto shook his head. He needed advice. Right, cool, yes, okay. He could go ask for advice. He knew just the person to go to. 

“Hypothetically,” Naruto began, watching Shikamaru narrow his eyes at the word and getting nervous, “say there was someone I might possibly, maybe, be like, romantically interested in, but I wasn’t sure. Also, hypothetically, what if I can’t sleep until I know the answer—”

“So, it’s about Sasuke.”

“No!” Naruto shouted immediately, his face crumpling in despair as he flung his hands up in exasperation. “Why does everyone always assume that?”

“Probably because with you, Naruto, everything is always about Sasuke.”

“That is not true,” he countered and sat up straight in his seat, trying to look as convincing as he possibly could. Not everything in his life was about Sasuke. Was it? 

Shikamaru leveled a knowing look at him that said, Do you really want me to prove it to you? and Naruto deflated. Folded like a fucking paper bag. 

“Okay,” Naruto said, “maybe it’s about Sasuke.” 

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “I have no idea how you’re trusted with high level clearance. Okay, Naruto. Hypothetically,” Shika stressed the word, “I say go find out if you’re romantically interested in him. Everyone in the village knows how bull headed you get when it comes to Sasuke. You’re going to be miserable until you figure it out and also completely useless focusing, which is a drag, considering the paperwork I’ll have to do to cover for your ass. Ask Kakashi to send you to Ame. I’m sure Sasuke could use the help.” 

Naruto’s mouth had fallen open at Shikamaru’s lack of shock. No arguments, no are you sure, Naruto , nothing. This was not looking good for him. Sasuke’s letter was sitting in his pocket—which was a perfectly good excuse to go to Ame, but it wasn’t like Naruto had been expecting Shikamaru of all people to tell him it was a good idea. 

“Do you think I am? Like,” Naruto flailed his hands again, desperate to have Shikamaru dispute it like the genius he was supposed to be, “do you think I could really like Sasuke like that?”

Shikamaru stared at him, looking almost bored. “Naruto, you chased the Uchiha for years. Not only did you chase him, but you used your sheer passion and determination to bring him back to convince me and hundreds of other shinobi to give Sasuke a second chance. Let me phrase it this way: has there been a single day when you haven’t thought about him? Or made it known to literally everyone in your presence when you were thinking of him?” 

Naruto’s mouth gaped open and then closed several times as he struggled to answer. His gut reaction was a hotheaded yes. It should have been a yes. But as soon as he tried to say it—Naruto faltered. Sasuke was with him always. Even now, the palm on his right hand itched, burned with the invisible mark of the sun. How could he not think of Sasuke? He was the yin to Naruto’s yang, quite literally. He made Naruto want to be better, do better, for him and kids like the two of them. He was immovable and beyond powerful, but more than that too. He was funny, in his own dry way, and thoughtful and patient in ways Naruto begrudgingly admired. Naruto had never stopped to consider the fact that Sasuke occupied so much of his thoughts because he had never minded. 

“That’s what I thought.” Shikamaru sat back in his chair with a weary expression and crossed his arms. “Get out of here, Naruto. I don’t want to put up with your hypotheticals all day. Some of us have work to do.”

In the end, it was relatively easy to convince Kakashi to let him go to Amegakure. Once Naruto had explained Sasuke’s intel, Kakashi had actually suggested sending a team of diplomats capable of keeping civilian casualties to a minimum if it came to blows. Naruto, naturally, had offered himself. Between himself and Sasuke, they could easily handle something like this. The Hokage had taken a long look at him, and then smiled fondly underneath his mask. Naruto could tell by the crinkle of his eyes. 

“Okay, Naruto,” the sixth had said, “you can go. Maybe seeing Sasuke will cheer you up. You’ve been quite down ever since he left. But I expect you both back the minute you solidify the Leaf’s position.”

Though Naruto had protested he hadn’t been down since Sasuke, it had been weak. As he opened the door to his apartment and went to his desk, Naruto wondered if Kakashi already knew or suspected—nope. He wasn’t going to think about it until he saw Sasuke. Naruto knew he’d chicken out if he let himself think about it, so he didn’t. He didn’t. But if he thought about the quiet gleam of affection in Sasuke’s dark eye or the fierce, wild electricity that spun inside the Rinnegan, that was for him to know, and him alone. 

Sasuke, 

That makes sense. A thunderstorm matches your personality, kind of like a sunset matches mine. And hey! Calling me a dumbass doesn’t mean I didn’t notice that you admitted to liking my tracksuits. I always knew you were jealous of my ability to pull them off.

Anyway, the Hogake would like the Leaf to establish a relationship with the new Hidden Village, if that’s what they are. I’ll be there in a few days to give you the rundown of the mission. Also, I’m just wondering,

Naruto hesitated, then scrawled the line.

I’m just wondering, is there anyone else you tell stuff like this to? I don’t. It’s always only you. Tell me when I get there. 

See you soon, bastard,

Naruto.

Chapter Text

Sasuke’s luck had been shitty all day. He’d lost not one, but three different leads in the crowds that had flooded Amegakure for their yearly festival, Tears of the Sky. The ninjas he’d spotted, each with an unmarked headband, had been swallowed whole by the sea of tourists. That, and Sasuke knew Naruto would be here any second. His Sharingan should have been helping him, but instead it kept latching on to every bright haired person in the crowd. He’d been tense ever since he’d read Naruto’s letter informing Sasuke that he would be the one coming to Ame—Sasuke was sure Kakashi had something to do with it.  

He was currently positioned among the rooftops, hidden in an alcove between two apartment buildings, scouring the vendor’s booths handing out puffy, blue clouds in a variety of forms: candy, stuffed animals, sewn onto clothing. Sasuke thought he saw a flash of a black headband but just as he did, a startling burst of familiar chakra flared on the peripheral of his senses. Naruto.

Sasuke’s eyes flickered briefly in the direction he’d felt the chakra. It disappeared almost as quickly as he’d sensed it. At least the idiot knew to suppress his chakra signature. Sasuke’s mouth dipped into a frown. What had made it flare? He went back to scouring the crowd when he heard the slightest drop of footsteps behind him and whirled, only to be met with a face full of Naruto Uzumaki. 

“Sasuke!” He chirped, immediately throwing himself forward as if he was going to hug him. At the last minute, Naruto slowed and let out a weird laugh before slapping a hand down onto Sasuke’s shoulder. “Long time no see, Teme!”

Sasuke gave him a bland look. “It’s been two months.”

Naruto smiled at him. His blonde hair looked freshly cut, still long and unruly as ever, and was dripping from the mist that had descended over Ame. A drop fell from a bright strand onto his whiskers and slid down his chin, over his jaw, and along his neck before disappearing into the standard Jounin uniform he was wearing. Sasuke’s jaw flexed as he caught himself, dragging his back up to Naruto’s blue eyes. They were intense, heavy with an emotion Sasuke couldn’t place. He blinked, and the look was gone. 

“Two months too long, if ya ask me,” Naruto’s grip on Sasuke’s shoulder tightened and then disappeared as he looked out over the swarming masses below. “So, why’s there so many people?”

Sasuke tried to glance away from him and failed. The green vest fit him snugly and the navy undershirt made his golden skin richer, his eyes bluer. He’d thrown a black zip up over it for the colder weather of Ame. He looked handsome. Charming. Sasuke despised it. 

“Tears of the Sky Festival.” 

Naruto noticed his staring and grinned. “No way! Is it tonight? Can we go? We should go!”

Sasuke clicked his tongue. “Usuratonkachi. We’re on a mission.”

Naruto didn’t miss a beat, “So? I’m pretty sure fun isn’t outlawed on missions. And, it’ll give us some good cover to do recon without being noticed. Kakashi said he wants us to gather intel on the ninjas’ intentions before acting. If they just want to protect their village, we’ll set up an alliance with them.”

“No.”

“What? Sasuke.” Naruto gave him a puppy dog pout, sticking his lip out. “Please.”

Sasuke didn’t bat an eye. It was a good thing he’d always favored cats. “We can watch it from the hill beside my rental house. You’re too loud and people will recognize you, unless you want to maintain a hinge all evening?”

“Ugh,” Naruto groaned, slumping against the opposite wall from Sasuke, “no. I’m tired. Traveling isn’t as fun as it used to be when we were kids. I hate sleeping on the ground.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, deciding to abandon searching until after the Festival was over. It was only for the day, so they could resume tomorrow. He already had a pretty good sense of where the ninjas’ base was and how many of them there were, thanks to Suigetsu’s map. It wouldn’t take much more investigating before he and Naruto could make a move—diplomatic or not. Sasuke tuned back in, not surprised to find Naruto was still complaining about the horrible, long trek of three days to Ame. 

Sasuke smirked at his rambling. “Getting soft, Uzumaki?”

Naruto’s eyes glazed, only for half a second, before he snapped back good naturedly, “You wish. So, what’re we doing right now?” He shuffled closer, slower than his usual approach, to peer down the opening that allowed for spying that Sasuke was standing at. 

Weird. Sasuke took a step toward him and sure enough, Naruto surged backwards, tripping in his haste to put space between them. He tried to play it off by laughing awkwardly before crouching down to unzip his bag, grabbing his canteen out of it to take a long drink. 

“Going back to the house,” Sasuke said after he was finished, watching him with dark, suspicious eyes. “It’s useless trying to track them in this, and I already have a good starting place for us tomorrow.” 

“Awesome! Let’s go!” Naruto turned and jumped onto the next roof, seemingly forgetting that he didn’t know how to get there. Sasuke caught up to him and Naruto allowed him to pass, but Sasuke was onto him. Something was…off. 

When they arrived at the house, Naruto maintained his unusual distance as Sasuke unlocked the door. Sasuke stood back, allowing Naruto to go first and also forcing the blonde to brush past him. He gave Sasuke a strange look before entering the small house and Sasuke noted the tight line of his shoulders relaxing as he took the space in. Hm. Interesting.

Sasuke circled him, coming around to discard his cloak along one of the two lounge chairs that made up the entirety of the tiny living room. Naruto had busied himself with putting away his things, which included dumping pretty much every item of clothing he’d brought onto the second chair. Wonderful. Sasuke cleared his throat and Naruto froze in the middle of shifting through his clothes and gear to stare at him. 

“What?”

“Do you want tea?” Sasuke hadn’t really planned to make any, but now that Naruto was here, sharing such a compact space with him—he needed something to soothe his nerves. 

“Uhhh,” Naruto glanced behind him, to where the kitchen was, “Sure?”

He was definitely acting weird. Sasuke went to pull out the kettle and two cups, arranging the tea leaves neatly on the counter as Naruto came over to the kitchen and hovered. An awkward silence hung over the two, grating on Sasuke’s already frayed nerves. He rapped his index finger on the counter as he waited for the water to heat up. He was just beginning to convince himself that this was going to be fine, no matter how strange Naruto was acting, when Naruto did it again. 

Naruto kept looking at him. Only when he thought Sasuke wasn’t looking. 

Sasuke hadn’t thought anything of it—the first ten times. Now, it was just getting annoying, considering they had only been in each other’s presence for less than two hours. “Do I have something on my face?” He demanded suddenly, and Naruto went white, his eyes going wide.

“No,” he said, but he said it too quickly. Sasuke placed his arm on his hip, raising a brow.

“You don’t!” Naruto explained, backing away from him and bumping into the kitchen table. “I just—you know—was wondering whereamIgoingtosleep?” He rushed the last part out, eyes skipping over Sasuke to the checkered kitchen wall behind him. 

That’s what this was about? Sasuke frowned. 

“If I recall correctly, it was you who said the other night that we used to share all the time.”

Naruto opened his mouth and then closed it like he was a fish. The second time, he managed, “Yeah, but that was for one night! Not some indefinite mission in a much smaller bed!” 

Sasuke didn’t want to hear it. He was irritated by his lack of progress and Naruto’s behavior, and he was hungry. The tea could wait. Moving around in the kitchen, Sasuke snatched the kettle off the stove and started yanking dishes and pans out for dinner. 

He sniped back, “If you want your own bed so desperately, go get one at an inn.” 

Naruto mumbled something under his breath that Sasuke didn’t catch, or really care to. If he was going to be weird about it, then that was his problem. “I’m making dinner. Do you want some?”

“Yes,” Naruto grumbled, “but I’m showering first.”

Sasuke didn’t respond, focusing intently on the task in front of him. Naruto could figure out where the shower was on his own. As Naruto disappeared into the bedroom offset from the rest of the house, Sasuke pretended he wasn’t there at all. This was a normal day, a normal evening—a yelp sounded from the bathroom. Sasuke glanced up, a startled smile playing on his mouth. He’d forgotten to warn Naruto that the water didn’t heat. 

Sasuke’s mood inclined exponentially after that. When Naruto came out of the shower, his shirt still clinging to him, he narrowed his eyes at Sasuke. “You’re a bastard, you know that? You could have told me the shower was going to be like ice.”

Sasuke didn’t entertain him and nodded at the plate across from him. He was seated at the table, his empty plate sitting in front of him. He’d eaten while Naruto was showering because he liked to eat in peace.

“Eat. Or we’re going to miss it.” 

Naruto wrinkled his nose in confusion, but obeyed. Halfway through consuming his plate like a madman, he dropped his fork and looked up at Sasuke. He had rice sticking to the corners of his mouth as he asked, “Say, Sasuke, how can we watch a festival from here? Isn’t the whole point of a festival to be like, festive? And walk around and stuff?”

Sasuke’s eyes were stuck on the rice, so tempted to lean over and brush them off because he knew Naruto had no sense of self awareness. He shook his head in annoyance, but answered, “You’ll see.” 

Naruto pointed a finger at him, saying seriously, “Fine. But you better not be lying again, asshole.”

“I haven’t lied to you.”

“Not telling me about the water was basically a lie!”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Is too!”

Sasuke cocked his head at Naruto, “Are you finished?”

Naruto glared at him. “No.”

“Then shut up and eat.”

“Dick,” Naruto muttered, but finished his food quickly. Sasuke eyed the last of the dying sunlight outside of the windows, satisfied with their timing as Naruto cleared their plates from the table and laid them down in the sink. Sasuke left his cloak where it was, standing impatiently at the front door as he watched Naruto go for his coat.

“Dobe. Don’t,” he caught Naruto’s wrist in his hand, releasing it when Naruto jumped at the contact, his eyes flicking to Sasuke’s. 

“Why?” Naruto retracted his hand, leaving his coat where it was on the coat rack. Sasuke didn’t miss how he rubbed at his wrist with his bandaged hand like Sasuke’s touch had burned him. What the hell was going on? Naruto never had any sense of personal space with Sasuke before. 

Sasuke studied him, but whatever was bothering Naruto, he hid it with an easy grin. “What, are you planning on buying me a cool cloak like yours?”

Sasuke made a calculated choice and stepped into Naruto’s space, his hand lifting to knock the rice from the corner of his mouth with one deft sweep of his thumb. Naruto, as Sasuke had expected, had frozen, his eyes like saucers as he stared dumbly up at Sasuke. Very interesting, indeed. 

“Come on,” Sasuke said as he moved back, toward the door and opened it, “and no. The cloak is my thing.”

Naruto muttered something about how cloaks were not Sasuke’s thing, that he’d just stolen the idea from Naruto’s Nine Tails Mode, but trailed after Sasuke as they wound up the dirt path to the hill a few yards from the house. The clouds above were thick and indigo, the sky transitioning from dusk to night as the two boys made their way to the top of the hill. 

Sasuke exhaled as a strong gust of wind billowed into them, letting his eyes fall shut against the temperature drop and the crack of lightning that sounded off in the distance. When he opened his eyes, Naruto was watching him with steady, glass-blue eyes. His hands were in his pockets but there was a lack of his normal casualness as he moved closer to Sasuke, until their shoulders were touching. Sasuke said nothing but, “Should be soon.”

They were standing side by side, tall waves of grass swaying around them, when the rain began to fall. The clouds, once dark and ominous, were illuminated into a lovely cobalt blue as the heavens cracked open and a torrent of glowing, iridescent blue raindrops released down on them. 

“Oh.” The word fell out of Naruto as the two of them stared up at the sky. “That’s why they call it Tears of the Sky.” 

Sasuke let silence fill the space between them in respect for the beautiful display. His eyes swept out over the land, past the dazzling rolls of glistening, now powder blue grass to the city beyond, where the tears of the sky coated the buildings, transforming Amegakure into a beacon. It was stunning, unlike anything Sasuke had ever seen, except—his gaze moved to Naruto and the air in his lungs emptied out. His heart stopped beating.

Naruto was brilliant, fucking radiant in the shimmering rain. He was smiling up at the sky, steaks of light running down his cheeks, over his shoulders. His hair was dyed a pearly baby blue, his palms outstretched at his sides as if he could catch the droplets. “Wow,” he laughed, a crack of joy against the navy night, and Sasuke’s Sharingan activated all by itself. 

“We should bottle it—”

And when Naruto’s eyes dropped from the sky to Sasuke and were still the bluest, most cataclysmic thing Sasuke had ever experienced, Sasuke knew then that he would never return to Konoha if he couldn’t have this for the rest of his life. The last half of Naruto’s sentence faltered in his mouth, his pupils dilating and the smile on his face changing shape. Slower. More crooked. Ragged. Just like it always was for Sasuke. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto breathed, the sound so painfully happy it almost sounded like anguish. 

Sasuke did not flinch, couldn’t even move, when Naruto slid a blue tinted hand into his hair, tucking it behind his ear to display the Rinnegan. It was unfair that someone else got to have him when he was right here. When he was Sasuke’s . 

“There,” Naruto whispered between them, like they were not the only two people on the hill. “Now you can see it better.”

Sasuke let his eyes drift up, to catch the rain and its reflection off the clouds before coming back to Naruto’s face. He shivered as Naruto’s hand slipped out of his hair, grazing against his neck, over his collar bones. Neither of them moved as the rain poured down on them, their gazes stuck on each other.

“You’re not looking at the sky,” Naruto finally said, his voice raspy.

I don’t need to, was the thought Sasuke kept inside himself. Instead, he responded, somewhat unevenly as the sky painted Naruto in a luminous, shining blue,  “Neither are you.” 

That caused Naruto to smile again. “Yeah, well,” he said, “I’ve never really been able to look at anything besides you, anyways.” 

Sasuke swallowed. Then why? Why did Naruto insist they were just friends? Why did he accept that gods awful scarf from the Hyuga? He searched Naruto’s face like he would find the answers there, and as always, only found the devotion that he could not understand. Sasuke felt lost. Would this be it? Would Sasuke live his life like this now, invariably waiting for a reason to see him that didn’t involve staying in Konoha? What kind of life was that? 

His Sharingan faded away, but still Sasuke looked at Naruto, even as he knew the answer.

It was a life of atonement. 

Chapter Text

Naruto was most definitely, absolutely not attracted to Sasuke.

He kept telling himself this, even after his ribs had felt like goddamn knives being stabbed into his abdomen while watching Sasuke’s resigned, sorrowful eyes glow silver blue in the downpour of the Tears of the Sky. Even after he hadn’t been able to keep his hands to himself because Sasuke looked so hauntingly beautiful, pale and perfect as he burned like a fallen star in the rain, blue and black and red and lavender. Naruto had reached out to touch him, to make sure he was real, before he’d even known what he was doing. His skin felt like glass, so smooth and soft under Naruto’s fingertips. But he didn’t think about that when they curled up in the single bed that night, backs pressed warmly together. Didn’t think about the rise and fall of Sasuke’s breath, or how the bed smelled like him, sharp cinnamon and pepper and smoke. Naruto didn’t think about it all night long, completely unable to sleep because he was warm all over, not thinking about the slide of Sasuke’s skin against his—

“Can you stop thinking so loudly?”

Naruto’s spit caught in his throat and he choked so violently that there would be no pretending that he wasn’t asleep. Sasuke’s voice was rough, even deeper than usual, and Naruto panicked at the sound, trying desperately to sound normal and like he wasn’t thinking about how it sounded nice, maybe better than nice.

“Yeah,” he said back, quickly severing his thoughts, “Sorry. Am I keeping you up?”

“You are now,” came Sasuke’s dry reply.

Against his better instincts, Naruto flopped over onto his back and asked, “You never told me your answer, ya know. The one from the letter.”

Sasuke sighed, but it wasn’t really all that irritated, more defeated. His weight shifted the bed as he rolled over from his side onto his back. It was a bit uncomfortable, considering how small the bed was. Their limbs were smushed together, Naruto’s left leg underneath Sasuke’s. Naruto wasn’t thinking about how much he liked the closeness, he wasn’t.

“No, I don’t tell anyone else my favorite color.”

“Well, it’s not so much about the actual color—”

“Naruto. It’s late.”

Naruto twisted, his shoulder dipping down into the bed as he raised himself on an elbow to look down at Sasuke, whose eyes fluttered open at the sudden movement. His hair was spooled out against his pillow like strands of black silk, his one dark eye an endless pool as he stared up at Naruto. The lines of his face were regal with a practiced patience. He’d kicked his covers halfway off, likely running warm due to his fire nature; his dark gray t-shirt had ridden up on his toned stomach but he hadn’t attempted to fix it. Naruto’s heart went up into his throat and pulsed there uncomfortably. Sasuke really was so pretty. Pretty and sharp and cutting and dangerous—like the press of a kunai to the neck. His nose had a gentle but traceable slope, the curve of his cheekbones high and angular to fit the upturn of his eyes, the softness of his mouth. All of his contrasts were unfairly unique, specific to Sasuke and Sasuke alone. Naruto was saying his name before he could stop himself.

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke seemed to pause, something sleepy in his eyes shifting, turning electric and wild, daring. Like he knew what Naruto was thinking and like always, was trying to goad him into starting something. It made Naruto’s blood burn underneath his skin. Sasuke smirked at him and it was sheer will—and sheer will alone—that kept Naruto’s eyes on his.

“Yes?” Sasuke spoke the word lowly, a murmur that had Naruto unconsciously dipping closer, heartbeat thundering in his ears. He didn’t know why he’d turned in the first place—maybe just to test himself, to prove that he wasn’t attracted to Sasuke. Naruto wasn’t sure that was faring very well for him. He swallowed, hard, and collapsed face first down onto his pillow.

“Be nice when you wake me up.”

A rumbling laugh sounded beside him, and Naruto pressed his face further into his pillow. So maybe he might notice that Sasuke was pretty and that he smelled nice and yeah sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be close to him, like as close as possible—but that didn’t mean—like that wasn’t a guarantee that he wanted to like, kiss him—Naruto squeezed his eyes shut tightly. Figuring this out was too hard. And Sasuke wasn’t being helpful at all. Not that the bastard ever had been before. The corner of Naruto’s mouth burned as he remembered the brush of Sasuke’s thumb over his skin from earlier. He sighed loudly into his pillow.

Someone should just go ahead and kill him now.

Halfway through their mission the next day, Naruto thought that Sasuke might grant him his wish to die.

“Don’t,” Sasuke’s voice was a growl, his palm nearly suffocating Naruto as he covered his mouth with a harsh grip, “get any ideas.”

“W–what?” Naruto’s voice squeaked under his hand, going bright red before he understood his meaning. He was pressed back into the shelves as far as he could, a few of them creaking with his and Sasuke’s combined weight as the other ninja leaned against him in the tight space. “Ideas? I don’t have any of those, you know that–”

“Say one more word and I’ll Amaterasu you.”

Naruto fell silent, shaking Sasuke’s fingers off his jaw, and glowered at him. Sasuke released him with a warning glare, resting his hand on the shelf behind Naruto’s head. The two of them had managed to get themselves into the Amegakure ninjas’ base but someone had to go off on his own without saying anything first.

Naturally, Naruto had followed, maybe a bit too loudly, and now they were hiding in a very small, cramped storage closet lining one of the hallways after Sasuke had heard a pair of voices and stuffed Naruto into their current predicament. So far, the most they’d been able to gather was that the ninjas seemed to have a pretty friendly, well established relationship with many of the vendors in the Ame. That, and they favored warehouses with a shitty amount of storage closets. Seriously, why was there so much stuff in this one?

As soon as Naruto opened his mouth to whisper-yell at Sasuke to move because his right leg had been caught in between Sasuke’s, Sasuke shifted his weight from leaning against Naruto to his right side, knocking a metal broom to his left loose with the motion. Hastily, Naruto caught the broom, his leg lifting reflexively to stop the loud clattering of it hitting the side wall. Unfortunately for both of them, as he caught the broom, his knee smacked into Sasuke’s lower back and sent him catapulting forward into Naruto’s lap.

Sasuke grappled at the shelves behind Naruto to steady himself and one snapped, tilting sideways, sending Sasuke pitching forward with it as he collided with Naruto’s chest.
Eyes flying wide, Naruto knocked the shelf behind him out of place with his elbow as his balance tipped with Sasuke’s unexpected weight. The board behind Naruto pancaked against the wall and the two of them fell together, sandwiching themselves into the shelf. Naruto’s hand shot out to grab the opposite end of the shelf Sasuke had undone to keep Sasuke from going all the way to the ground.

Just as they regained their balance, the two voices Sasuke had heard earlier turned down their hall. Both of them went utterly motionless aside from the strain of their bodies as they inadvertently held each other up. None of this was what was really bad—none of it.

The worst part was that he and Sasuke ended up pressed flush together, Sasuke’s face hovering inches, fuck, maybe centimeters, from Naruto’s. Naruto could feel the fluttering race of Sasuke’s heart in his ribcage. Fleeting, fast. Naruto’s sounded like a stampede.

Naruto forgot where they were.

Forgot they’d been bickering all morning. Forgot about anything other than Sasuke, his achingly lovely face filling his entire vision as he stared, open mouthed, up at him. A few strands of Sasuke’s hair slipped and draped around their faces in an inky curtain. He was sure Sasuke noticed it—the sharp intake of breath he couldn’t let go. His eyes searched Sasuke’s as they balanced precariously to keep everything in the storage closet from crashing down.

Do not move, Sasuke mouthed as the voices neared.

Naruto nodded faintly, his eyes the size of saucers. Sasuke’s gaze hesitated on Naruto’s, obsidian and lavender twisting into something arcane and unfathomable. Whatever was behind his eyes, it was familiar to Naruto. Something molten and raw that he felt blazing up in the pit of his stomach. It was the same feeling Naruto had felt when they’d fought, really fought. A breathless, undying bond that threatened to consume them with the way it burned, hot and fervent. Naruto was stunned stupid when he realized what it was, the flicker in Sasuke’s eyes before he glanced away from Naruto to listen to the voices right outside the storage closet.

Desire.

What was more—it felt familiar. Naruto knew he’d felt it before: it had been one of the reasons he had never been able to let Sasuke go. Desire. To be his equal, for him to look at Naruto and see him. To stand next to him. Wasn’t this what he had wanted most? To be close to Sasuke and know him in all the ways no one else could? It was. The answer was in the painful stutter of his heartbeat, the clawing feeling in this throat. Sasuke had always been what he wanted most.

His eyes ran up the curve of Sasuke’s throat, the sharp line of his jaw in the dim lighting. Unbidden, Naruto’s free hand came up to skim along Sasuke’s right side. Sure enough, Sasuke’s mismatched eyes came snapping back to stare at him incredulously. His entire body went taught, a lean, live wire beneath Naruto’s hand.

Sasuke’s eye went blood red and then Naruto was sucked into a genjutsu. Nothing changed; their surroundings and positions stayed the exact same. Sasuke kept his Mangeko spinning as he hissed, “What part of do not move do you not understand?”

A thrill lanced up Naruto’s spine when the dark bloom of heat in Sasuke’s eyes did not fade with his irritation, but blossomed. Whatever he felt—Sasuke felt it too. He was sure of it. His grip on Sasuke’s side tightened, so forcefully that he drew them even closer under the guise of balance. Confidently, he smarted right back, “I think we’d be fine if they found us. They’re friendly to the villagers.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. “What—that’s not what matters, dumbass. Us being here, in their base without permission is an act of war. So whatever it is that you’re thinking, don’t.”

“Well,” Naruto sank his fingertips into the muscle along Sasuke’s hip, this time causing Sasuke’s breath to hitch in panic, “if whatever I’m thinking happens in here—”
In the blink of an eye, they were spit out of the genjutsu and back into reality.

Naruto nearly slipped, his hand coming up to wrap around Sasuke’s waist to keep himself steady (for real this time, on Kurama’s life) as he was plunged back into his consciousness. The voices outside were not growing any quieter. Had they fucking stopped to chat or—or—Naruto’s brain short circuited when the exhale of Sasuke’s breath brushed over his mouth. Reflexively, his hand flattened against the small of Sasuke’s back, a rush of fever-like heat licking up his spine.

Sasuke was glaring at him like if he could kill him and leave his body here, he would. Naruto frowned right back at him. It wasn’t as if either of them could move. Naruto was sure they looked ridiculous, sprawled out in every direction to keep the miscellaneous supplies from tumbling into the floor.

He was also one hundred percent sure he didn’t care.

He’d never been this close to Sasuke without fighting. Never. His pulse jumped in the bottom of his throat when Sasuke exhaled again. Sasuke was warm, like the course of electricity through a cord, like the singe of a fire when pressed too close. He was warm and his chakra, though suppressed, tangled in Naruto’s, dark and greedy and pulling Naruto in and in and in. His one dark eye was black glass, bottomless and yet hot, like the shade of Amaterasu. The tomoes in his Rinnegan were spiraling erratically. Naruto felt it then, the way Sasuke softened and leaned into him for a millisecond when Naruto pressed him closer. The hard panes of his body became pilant under Naruto’s touch, his chakra tugging at Naruto’s so viscerally that it couldn’t be mistaken for anything but an ask—a challenge—for more. The hand on Sasuke’s back twisted into a fist as Naruto’s restraint snapped and he tugged him forward that last inch.

Sasuke jerked backwards in shock, letting go of the board and sending them both crashing toward the floor, the broom and virtually everything else in the storage closet collapsing. Naruto let out a muffled cry just before a vacuum tilted straight into his face. He was so focused on the vacuum that he almost missed Sasuke catching himself with his usual feline grace and the uniform spiral of the Rinnegan.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Naruto growled and lunged to snatch the bottom corner of Sasuke’s cloak before they were sucked into the teleportation jutsu. Like hell he’d let Sasuke run away after that.

His momentum carried him forward and Naruto face-planted straight into the door of the house. He careened back, holding his nose with a look of betrayal as he pointed a bandaged finger at Sasuke. “You were going to fucking leave me there!”

Sasuke twisted on his heel and started back to Ame. “I told you not to move.”

Naruto scrambled to catch up to him, eyes still watering. “I–”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But, Sasuke—”

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine,” Naruto snapped. Gods, there was no one who could piss him off like Sasuke. “Where are we going? Will you at least tell me that?”

“To eat.”

“Oh,” Naruto said stupidly, rubbing his nose painfully.

“Oh.” Sasuke mocked back.

Naruto was silent for all of about three minutes before he started again, “Sasuke—”

Sasuke didn’t turn. Didn’t even so much as glance at him. A weird, uneasy feeling began to bubble in his stomach. What if he’d misread him? What if Sasuke didn’t feel the same way that Naruto did? And what was the way Naruto felt? He had wanted to—shit. Naruto tried to focus on the pain in his middle of face rather than the growing panic threatening to give him a stroke. It was no use.

He’d wanted to kiss Sasuke.

To pull him down on top of him and learn if he tasted as much like cinnamon and pepper as he smelled or more like lightning, like fizz and static and blood, to know how the coil of his muscles would feel against Naruto’s fingers, his mou—

Naruto tore himself out of his daydream by kicking a stray pebble moodily in front of him. None of it really mattered if Sasuke wouldn’t look at him. He wouldn’t even talk to Naruto about it. Why? Did he know? Did he know and just didn’t want to say anything because he didn’t feel that way? Or because he was just being Sasuke-typical-stupid-bastard-jerk? Naruto’s mood soured as he walked silently behind Sasuke into the city. What if Sasuke had been repulsed by the idea? What if he didn’t want to be friends or—

“Idiot. Sit down.”

Naruto had been so lost in thought that he’d bumped into the stool next to Sasuke, who’d already sat. He blinked, trying to shake himself out of it. When had they gotten to the restaurant? Sasuke picked up the menu, studiously ignoring Naruto again.

“Sasuke,” Naruto was gearing up to say something—anything that would make Sasuke look at him (he was really good at it. He could always make Sasuke look at him. He just sometimes had to think outside of the box), when Sasuke sighed, long and tired. He threw the second menu at Naruto, who caught it just before it smacked him in the face.

“Naruto.” He said his name in that stupid slow drawl that had Naruto’s brain chemistry tripping over itself. “It’s fine. We’ll go back tomorrow and formally introduce ourselves. I think you might be right. There’s a good chance they won’t be hostile.”

Throughout this, Sasuke did not, not once, make eye contact.

Naruto opened his mouth, about to demand that Sasuke acknowledge whatever it was that had happened back there when a thought occurred to him. If he pressed Sasuke on this, would he leave? If he was wrong and Sasuke didn’t want that, he might disappear. If he was right—Naruto’s eyes dropped from Sasuke to the table. If he was right and Sasuke didn’t want to talk about it, and Naruto forced it, he would absolutely run. Disappear for another two years. Or longer. His fingers tightened on the menu.
The panic that skewered through him at the mere thought of Sasuke disappearing was clinical. Abandonment issues, his postwar therapist had so keenly called it. Whatever. Naruto wouldn’t risk that. He didn’t care if he never kissed Sasuke, not as long as he was in reach. Nothing was worth losing him. All of his desire sank, like a rock, to the bottom of his stomach. He would gladly push these feelings away if it meant he kept Sasuke.

“You good?”

Naruto glanced up to find Sasuke looking at him. Finally. Finally. Relief washed over him as Naruto scanned his face, a solemn resignation twisting his mouth up into a faint smile. “Yeah,” he lied, “just don’t think I’ve ever heard you admit that I was right.”

Sasuke’s demeanor relaxed into something gentler, less ridgid, when Naruto let the moment between them go. Naruto’s leg jittered uneasily underneath the table. He’d suppress it, then. Anything for Sasuke.

“Don’t get used to it,” Sasuke replied easily.

Naruto’s heart was in his throat. That was exactly it, he thought. He’d always wanted Sasuke. There wasn’t anything different about this, was there?
He’d just have to get used to it.

Dinner went without incident and the pair found themselves returning to the rental house a few hours after dusk. They got ready for bed in silence. The first few hours passed without a single wink of sleep for Naruto, so, like the night before, he turned over on his back. This time, he tried to memorize the pattern of the ceiling, tracinging it over and over to get himself to sleep. It was damn near impossible, with the weight of Sasuke in bed next to him. He kept replaying the moment after Sasuke had released him from the genjutsu, no matter how many times he tried to redirect his thoughts.

How had he misunderstood this? Now that he was aware of his feelings, Naruto couldn’t stop thinking about all the tiny things he’d catalogued, all in the same, never ending things about Sasuke folder that he could talk about for hours at any given time that suddenly seemed a lot less normal than he’d previously thought. Like the way he kicked in his sleep, how he always sneezed twice, that he loved flowers but would absolutely kill Naruto if he ever got him a bouquet, but maybe not bulbs, or that when he cleaned he wore his hair back in a bandana, that he had a soft spot for tragedies in media and his guilty pleasure was dark chocolate—gods, he really was obsessed, wasn’t he? He dragged a haggard hand over his face when he felt Kurma’s amused, very much in agreement, laughter bubbling up from inside him.

“It’s not going to work,” came the sleepy drawl from beside him, and Naruto’s breath stopped. He twisted his neck to find Sasuke blinking at him, weary and beautiful. “The pattern isn’t soothing. You’re better off counting sheep.”

“Huh,” Naruto smiled, turning onto his shoulder to face Sasuke better, his predicament immediately forgotten. “You do the ceiling thing too? The sheep thing never works for me,” he added, “just keep gettin’ interrupted by my thoughts. They’re too loud.”

“Hm,” Sasuke acknowledged. His eyes fluttered, half-lidded and warm, “How surprising.”

The next thing Naruto knew, he was bursting out, “Where do you keep the frog figurine?”

Surprise jolted Sasuke awake before he answered, “None of your business.”

“Sasuke,” Naruto begged, “tell me. I want to see the little dude! Mine’s in my froggie coin purse right now ‘cause I didn’t want to leave him behind. You didn’t throw him away did you? Because I haven’t seen him once—”

“In the front pocket of my gear,” Sasuke interrupted bluntly, to shut Naruto up. He raised a brow, “Do you want me to go get it right now? Or can you wait until the morning like an adult?”

Naruto kneed him in the thigh playfully, earning himself a palm shoving his face backwards. With a muffled, “Hey!” he forgot all of his earlier promises, impulse coursing through him like fire, and sprang forward into Sasuke’s space. Sasuke was faster, his hands snapping around Naruto’s wrists to halt his attack and flipping Naruto over effortlessly. His back thudded against the mattress, knocking the breath out of him, and he stilled underneath Sasuke.

Sasuke’s hold on Naruto was bruising, fingers digging into his wrists like a vise as he looked down at the blonde he’d just pinned. His muscles were tight, slightly tense with the strain, skin like snow in the silver of the moonlight shifting through the shades. Their knees brushed, Sasuke’s hair tickling Naruto’s cheek as it fell between them.

Naruto swallowed, his humor fading as heat raced through his body at the suggestive position they were in. Sasuke’s grip clenched painfully, almost like he could see the thoughts in Naruto’s eyes as they stared at each other. Could he? Naruto strained against his grasp, searching Sasuke’s eyes for the spark of electricity he’d seen in the supply closet. Sasuke drove him further into the mattress when he squirmed, but not before Naruto saw a flash of something wild across his features.

Kiss me, he thought recklessly, shocked by his own thoughts and yet—he wanted him to. Wanted him closer. Naruto pushed against his hold again, arching upwards in a defiant attempt to loosen his grip. Sasuke didn’t budge, his thumbs slipping up the inside of Naruto’s wrists and pressing painfully into the reflex points as a show of force. A shiver ran down Naruto’s body, his jaw flexing as he glared up at Sasuke. Unless Sasuke was going to kiss him, he needed him to let go. Otherwise, Naruto wouldn’t be hiding anything from him. His blood felt hot, his thoughts spiraling on the shape of Sasuke above him, the feeling of his body against his—

Sasuke’s voice was quiet. “Stay on your side of the bed.”

Naruto grinned up at him, but it was slightly feral as he tried to keep his focus. “I’m not scared of you.”

Sasuke’s expression narrowed. “Are you sure about that?”

Locking his ankles around the back of Sasuke’s knees, Naruto rolled them over onto their sides to where they were nose to nose, toe to toe, and declared without hesitation, “Yes. I’m always sure of you.”

Sasuke’s eyes guttered, and then flared to life, tomoes whirling in a bloody lavender amalgamation. He let Naruto go.

Naruto observed him with a benevolent calmness, his heartbeat slowing from erratic to fast and then something that wasn’t quite steady.

“Even now?” Sasuke said softly. He blinked, languid and slow.

Naruto returned the gesture with a similarly paced smile.

He’d never told anyone this, but he loved Sasuke’s eyes.

All of the missives he’d received when chasing him had always directed those engaging with the Uchiha to never look at his eyes, but Narturo had never listened. He wasn’t afraid of Sasuke, or his eyes. They were a part of his favorite person. Both sets—the awesome power of his kekkei genkai and the smooth obsidian irises that reflected all of his emotions like glass. Sasuke had fought for them, bled for them even in ways Naruto might never truly understand. They told his story of his pain and his resilience and everything good he was in spite of the world.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered, gently chiding. He shook his head into his pillow and reached out to snag his pinky in the thread of fingers that Sasuke had tucked under his chin. He was so tired, all of his worries dissipating under Sasuke’s whirling gaze. None of it mattered, not as long as Sasuke was here with him.

“Always is always.”

Chapter Text

Sasuke had not slept past midmorning since he was fourteen. 

Dawn had been his constant companion with Orochimaru—the snake Sannin had disliked direct sunlight, but Sasuke could only go for so long without seeing the sun before he’d want to kill every single person on sight. And after Itachi, well, long uninterrupted sleep had declined to pay Sasuke a visit. So when he woke, sweating from the harsh sunlight filtering through the blinds and a heavy weight draped over him, his first reaction was genuine bewilderment. Then came the disgruntled feeling of being out of routine. With that, Sasuke woke more fully, and felt every single nerve in his body enter a hyper aware state of shock at the exact same time. 

What, Sasuke thought, the actual fuck? 

Naruto was completely wrapped around him. Legs wound through Sasuke’s, one arm behind his neck and the other around his waist, drooling onto Sasuke’s shirt. Sasuke’s breath stuttered as Naruto shifted in his sleep, biceps constricting around Sasuke as he pulled him more firmly against his body, his mouth brushing over the sensitive skin of his neck as the blonde mumbled something intelligible that sounded suspiciously like his name.

A low heat began spooling in his stomach, unraveling throughout his body. Naruto smelled of lemons, but not acidic. Like fresh squeezed juice under the nice shade of a lemon tree, rich and bittersweet. His bandaged arm scraped against Sasuke’s bare stomach where his shirt had ridden up and Sasuke was—he was catching fire. His chakra skittered, like a flame being swept up by a gust of wind, and then ignited, lit from underneath. 

Sasuke had half a mind to throw Naruto onto the floor, but he couldn’t, everything in his body held out against the voice in his head going, No, no, no. 

But Sasuke had not felt this way in so long; he was burning with something deep and rough and biting. The heat in his stomach was demanding, possessive. Though he knew that Naruto saw him only as a friend, Sasuke was still his. He was helpless to it, had been since the moment he’d met him. He was just so bright, even now, blonde hair shining like gold in the sunlight.

Maybe he really was a masochist, because the double sided bite of watching Naruto sleep and knowing that this would likely be one of the only times in his life that he would wake like this—it was better than any surge of chakra or power or righteousness Sasuke had ever felt. His gaze softened as he gazed down at Naruto, something suffocating and sickly sweet flooding his throat. 

My one and only. 

After checking to make sure Naruto was asleep with a simple activation of his Sharingan, Sasuke brought his arm up and over, sliding over the smooth muscles of Naruto’s back as he twisted his body to where he was encased by Naruto’s embrace. Sasuke’s heart felt like it would burst out of his chest as his hand curled in the hem at the back of Naruto’s shirt, his eyelids fluttering shut when Naruto sighed in content against Sasuke’s neck. 

The way Naruto had looked at him yesterday—Sasuke’s body tightened at the thought of it. He was acting so odd , showing up and refusing to touch Sasuke and then tucking his hair behind his ears and saying shit like, I’ve never been able to look at anything beside you. During that godsforsaken closet incident his eyes had turned so dark, almost navy, as he’d looked up at Sasuke. And then he’d given him the same look later, when Sasuke pinned him. Sasuke had nearly kissed him then.

Would Naruto arch up against him, wrap his leg around Sasuke’s and throw him underneath him like when they were sparring? Bite into his mouth with those elongated canines? Or would he pull away and say friends again? Sasuke couldn’t be sure. 

He couldn’t be sure because Naruto had always looked at him like that, always finding a reason to dominate his space. When they were fighting, when they brushed too close in the middle of bickering. Something in the air yesterday had been charged, though. Or maybe Sasuke was just reading into it. Again.

This didn’t feel like reading into anything, though. This felt like everything Sasuke wanted but would never ask for. He’d imagined this, the smell of Naruto and the glorious weight of the dumbass pressing down on him, practically smothering him in heat and gold and fire, and the reality of it was better than anything his mind could have conjured. Warmer. More intoxicating. The spin of his Sharingan became irregular and unsteady as he rested his chin on top of Naruto’s head . Just a few more minutes, Sasuke thought drowsily to himself, dreaming that he would be woken by the press of lips to his collarbone when he drifted back to sleep. 

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke hmmed noncommittally in the back of his throat, not ready to open his eyes. 

“Sasuke, I can’t move.”

Sasuke cracked an eye open irritatedly, the last of his dream slipping from his consciousness as he registered something wriggling underneath him. The first thing he was met with was Naruto’s ridiculously blue eyes wide with sheer, unadulterated panic. They were still tangled in one another, the heat collected between their bodies sending Sasuke’s legs slipping between Naruto’s. He’d rolled slightly on top of Naruto at some point; Sasuke pushed himself up, setting his elbow on Naruto’s shoulder as he looked down at him, vision still blurry with sleep. 

“Dumbass. You’re loud.” Sasuke complained, dropping his head away from the sunlight blazing in through the windows. His forehead hit Naruto’s clavicle, brain and body moving too slowly from all the excess sleep. Why had he let himself fall back asleep? It was irresponsible, foolish. He should have woken Naruto up, but Sasuke’s whole life was should haves. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice was laced with something resembling desperation, “I need to get up—”

Sasuke shifted at that exact moment to press his knee down into the bed to let the moron up, but as he did, his thigh came into direct contact with Naruto’s dick. Sasuke went utterly still, eyes shooting up to Naruto’s mortified face. He had no time to decipher what he saw other than Naruto’s face flushing dark red before he was face-planting into the bed as Naruto ripped himself away and made a mad dash for the bathroom, screaming, “IHAVETOPEE IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL!”

Somewhat in shock, Sasuke rolled over to stare blankly up at the ceiling.

His heart was beating so viciously in his chest he thought he might lean over the bed and throw it up, heat crawling up his limbs. He’d been—he was—Sasuke couldn’t even finish the sentence. His gaze flickered over to the bathroom door. What if he was right, and he hadn’t been reading anything into it? What if Naruto knew?

No. Sasuke shook his head violently, wrenching himself up from the bed and getting dressed for the day. No, it was not possible. Naruto had taken the scarf from the Hugya and Sasuke had given him countless opportunities to say something, anything other than friends. Sasuke gripped the hope that had crawled inside him and rooted it out, yank after yank, until he was raw and bleeding inside. Until there was nothing left but unrequited anguish and hurt.

He jerked his arm angrily into the sleeve of his cloak, disregarding breakfast and sweeping outside to stand alone in the tumultuous air of Ame. Whatever had happened was nothing more than biology and Sasuke’s wishful thinking, he didn’t know how to stop hoping, he had to stop—

A dark, manic laughter bubbled up inside of him as he waited for Naruto. Stop? Sasuke was a fucking joke. He’d been trying to stop loving Naruto since he was twelve and not once, not even after trying to kill him, had he been able to. 

As much as Sasuke hated to admit it, Naruto had been right about the Amegakure ninjas.

He’d marched right up to their base and knocked, still looking slightly sheepish from this morning, and then introduced himself as Naruto Uzamaki of the Leaf. The reaction had been immediate, the hospitality for the hero of the world suffocating to Sasuke as they were ushered inside. One of the guards had pointed to Sasuke and asked, “What about him?”

Naruto had just grinned and answered easily, “He’s with me.” 

And that had been that. After talks that lasted for pretty much the entire day, with Sasuke pitching in some logistical questions, a rough treaty was drafted. He and Naruto hadn’t breathed a word of what had occurred between them this morning, though Naruto had spent all of the morning grumbling about why they couldn’t have at least had breakfast. Sasuke hadn’t been able to hold his eyes, afraid the tension would break the wall he’d put between himself and his thoughts about Naruto since his traitorious fucking brain couldn’t be trusted. He’d decided he wouldn’t be staying in Konoha, not even for a night. 

Though the last two years had been full of missing Naruto, it would be better to be away. Away from the ache swelling his heart with something that was too familiar, too painful to be kept inside. But Sasuke didn’t know how to show it—hadn’t for the past twelve years. He wouldn’t even know where to begin. His love was brittle and dark, poisoning him from the inside out. Sasuke was content to let it take him. Better that than let it out. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto beamed, breaking his morose thoughts, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet as they walked back toward town. Sasuke switched to a mental checklist for distraction. He needed to return the key to the owner of the house, make a sweep to make sure they hadn’t left anything and then they could be on their way. Or he could teleport back to Kakashi’s office now—“let’s go celebrate, Teme!”

“No,” Sasuke said firmly. “We need to get this to Kakashi.” He waved the papers like that would make it clear to the idiot that they were on a mission. It had miraculously ceased raining, though Sasuke doubted it would last long and he wanted to get on the road before another storm blew in.

Naruto, of course, used the opportunity to grab Sasuke’s arm and start hauling him away from the path to the rental house and towards the streets of Ame. “Naruto,” Saskue tried to jerk his arm away but Naruto’s grip was like iron, “You’re not listening—”

“Sucks.” Naruto flashed a wild smile at Sasuke, the blue of his eyes tinged red, and a shiver of anticipation and attraction rushed Sasuke's spine at the sight of his fanged canines. “It’ll have to wait. We’re going to get ramen. And then we’re gonna go to a bathhouse, like normal ninjas after they’ve completed a mission.”

Why was he so pissed off? There was no way Naruto was privy to the thoughts in his head; he couldn’t know that Sasuke was contemplating leaving—no. Sasuke thought about using Naruto’s grip against him and tossing the blonde into the dirt, but refrained. He didn’t need anymore incidents to occur, and fighting was a surefire way for Naruto to invade his space. Maybe if he relented and just agreed to spend some time with Naruto, he wouldn’t be so angry when Sasuke left right after they got back to Konoha. 

“Fine,” Saskue reluctantly gave in, trying to loosen Naruto’s grip on him with a few good shakes, “let go of my arm.”

“Nope,” Naruto chimed back happily, sliding his hand down Sasuke’s forearm to hold his wrist. “Not letting you run away with your swappy-eye. I know you’ve been thinking about it all morning.” 

“Fuck off,” Sasuke hissed, actual anger surging up in him that Naruto could read him so well. He tugged against his hold the entire way into Ame, even managing a nice kick to Naruto’s hip that had the other teen flipping around to bare his fangs at Sasuke threateningly.

 “Chill,” Naruto snapped, locking his fingers around Sasuke’s and dragging him forward so forcefully that his shoulder nearly dislocated. “It’s just a bowl of ramen, Sasuke.” 

Sasuke stared at him. Naruto hadn’t been this aggressive, this angry with him since the war. Sasuke didn’t even know what to do with it. His own anger fell out of him like someone shaking change from the crevices of their wallet, and he let himself be pulled through Amegakure’s damp streets. Rain had begun to fall again, soft and dewy on Sasuke’s shoulders as they walked.

Naruto was holding his hand. Naruto was angry with him for wanting to leave, not Konoha but specifically him. Sasuke couldn’t make sense of it. He hadn’t said a single word when the two of them sat down at a booth inside a cozy shop, and Naruto released him. He’d come back to himself, and muttered a low, “Sorry,” before going to ask the waitress at the counter for menus. 

Sasuke didn’t want to have this conversation. He wanted to bolt, right then and there, because he had nothing to say. What the hell was he supposed to say? When Naruto came back, he slumped into his seat, looking glum for about ten minutes before he glanced cautiously up at Sasuke.

Sasuke just stared at him. 

“I’m sorry about this morning, if that’s what’s bothering you.” Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere but Sasuke. “I’m just–I’m kinda used to sleepin’ alone, ya know? Was weird for me too.” 

The twist in his chest was visceral and Sasuke frowned before he could stop it. Weird. Of course Naruto thought it was weird. “No. That’s not what’s bothering me, Naruto.”

Liar, Itachi’s voice whispered in his ear, and Sasuke felt every inch as haunted and hollow as he was. He was so tired of this. Was Naruto not tired of this? The days they spent apart were empty but the ones they spent together were raw, full of want and longing. Sasuke had no idea what they were supposed to do with it. 

“Then what is it? And don’t say nothing, because I’ll know you’re lying.”

Sasuke hated himself, hated Naruto, for a brief moment. Loathed them both, for doing this to themselves, for how fucking weak and predictable he was when a shinobi should never be. He inhaled a long breath through his nose. Then said, “I don’t wish to return to the Leaf.”

It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the entire truth, either.

“Oh,” Naruto laughed, a faint tinge of embarrassment coloring his cheeks. “That makes a lot more sense. But Sasuke,” his eyes were so blue when he said so fucking sincerely, “Konoha is your home. I know it’s difficult for you, but you should at least give it a chance! Have you even seen half the stuff I wrote to you about?”

“No.” Sasuke didn’t want to see it. He set his menu down, tapping his long fingers on the corner of it restlessly. He wasn’t ready to be split wide open again. He’d tried. “I…tried. I couldn’t make it past the gates.” 

Naruto’s entire demeanor softened with understanding. Sasuke glanced away from him, to the rain outside the windows. His heart couldn’t behave properly when Naruto looked at him like that. When—Sasuke’s breath caught in his throat when Naruto’s hand closed around his hand, warm and steady. 

“Let me go with you, ‘Ske. When we go back, lemme show you the new stuff. Maybe it won’t feel so bad if you have someone there with you.”

Sasuke’s fingers clenched violently around Naruto’s as he met his gaze. The blue of Naruto’s eyes was unwavering, blazing with his promise. Let me go with you.

You'll never be alone again.

The feeling in Sasuke’s chest was as chaotic as the Chidori and as oppressive as the gravity dimension they’d ventured to while battling Kaguya. He despised it. Wished it would vanish, that he could admire Naruto like the rest of the world and not with whatever this rapacious, hemorrhaging black hole in his chest was. Every single one of his feelings was tangled in blood and tragedy and the black stain of his past. The last thing he’d loved had been slaughtered before his very eyes and then used to torture him, manipulate him, break him in every way imaginable. He was terrified that if he tried—if he tried and failed—

Sasuke didn’t know how to do this, so the easy answer was not to. 

For all his wishing that Naruto had given him any other reason for saving him besides being his friend, Sasuke realized it would have been futile. What had he been thinking? Like he wouldn’t have pushed Naruto away, as he wanted to now, because he was no more than a lost soul who only knew how to hate and harm the people he’d once loved.

Love was foreign to him, more so than any language or custom. It had many faces, but pain and possession were the only two he knew well. Naruto didn’t deserve to be loved like that. Brokenly. 

But Sasuke was selfish. He took the things he wanted and did not look back. He was supposed to be fixing that part of him, but Naruto made it so difficult when he looked at Sasuke like that. So, like the inevitable pull of the tide to the shore, Sasuke surrendered. If Naruto could take all his hate, then surely he could take all his love, too.

Even if it was uglier. 

He took his hand back. 

“Okay.” 

Chapter Text

The Drop Inn was nicer than Naruto had been expecting. It housed the only hot springs on this side of Ame and Sasuke had already reluctantly agreed to go with him, so Naruto didn’t want to push his luck by dragging him all over the place. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Sasuke (hadn’t been able to since he’d woken up this morning with Sasuke on top of him ) and he was fairly sure the other ninja was fully aware that Naruto was only halfway functioning. 

Every time he’d caught a glimpse of Sasuke’s eyes, his heart stopped. His mind was replaying the moment he’d woken up over and over and over again, so much so that Kurama had actually growled at him and told him that the next time he was injured, he’d get no healing chakra from the fox if he didn't quit. Naruto knew what he’d promised (he really did. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his friendship with Sasuke) but if there was any chance he could wake up like that again…he sighed, sinking further into the water.

He was already in the springs, sitting on one of the underwater ledges throughout the pool. His leg was bouncing up and down as he tried to clear his mind. He was anxious to see Sasuke. Just like, a little bit. Maybe if he could just meditate for a minute? Naruto closed his eyes and tried to focus.

The memory rose the second he did—Sasuke plastered to Naruto, his legs between his and the feeling of his hand on his lower back. Naruto gave up meditation, opting for torturing himself because he couldn’t let it go.

There was no way he hadn’t woken Sasuke up with his cuddling (look, Naruto knew he’d started it. He’d maybe sometimes accidentally clung to his teammates during missions—not anymore though! He used his own tent now). And Sasuke never slept past like six, even on a good day. Naruto plucked up his courage. He was going to flirt with him. A thrill ran through him at the thought, immediately followed by the icy chill of fear. If it was subtle and Sasuke absolutely hated it…he could brush it off as a joke, right? But if he didn’t test the boundaries a little, then what good was he as the number one knuckle headed ninja? 

There was only one small problem. How the fuck was he supposed to flirt with Sasuke? 

Naruto groaned and closed his eyes. This was so much harder than people made it out to be. When he cracked his eyes open, he realized that they’d likely have the hot springs to themselves. That would be nice, at least. Night had fallen, but a warm, smoldering light bled from the lanterns hung through the fenced area, dangling from wrought iron hooks. The steam from the bath was rising, curling around the bathhouse and the fence. A large tree that was in blossom hung over the baths, blue petals falling occasionally to float prettily on the water’s surface. 

He was feeling nervous. Why was he feeling nerv—the bathhouse door opened and Naruto’s brain blipped out of existence. 

Sasuke had slid out of the bathhouse and was stepping into the water, his dark and lavender eyes on Naruto. He was…how was he real? Naruto’s mouth went dry. He blinked, and yet nothing changed. The smooth expanse of Sasuke’s toned torso was riddled with silvery scars, his skin glowing in the moonlight. Naruto’s eyes fell from his shoulders to his tapered waist and the towel wrapped around his hips—he was so lean, so thin and yet so incredibly powerful that Naruto knew that no one would ever touch him the way Naruto wanted to touch him.

The thought made something savage rise up in him. His hands would fit so well there, around Sasuke’s waist, he thought breathlessly. He blushed violently as one of Sasuke’s long, elegant hands began to undo the towel. Naruto’s eyes shot back up to Sasuke’s face to find his best friend staring straight back at him. 

Shit. Fuck Holy Shit—

The lovely, slanted panes of Sasuke’s eyes gave nothing away as he sank into the bath, still watching Naruto, who had taken to glaring at the tree and was mentally beating the shit out of himself. He was so obvious it was painful. How could Sasuke not know at this point? But if he knew and there was no adverse reaction yet…what did that mean? Where was he supposed to go with “not upset by it”? Sasuke wasn’t the type to give him a straightforward answer. And he was prone to changing his mind, so the guarantees of Naruto figuring him out before he did was the key. But he usually could. Sasuke had tells. 

A horrible sensation crawled along his neck as he clocked his own train of thought.

Was he really obsessed with Sasuke? Naruto didn’t want to think about it. He should possibly just drown himself, he should—he went under the water and squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that he thought he might actually black out. 

A forceful tug on his hair had Naruto coming up for air, only to be met with a very naked, much closer Sasuke. He wanted to kick himself for having such a dumbass idea (he’d totally fist bump himself for this too, don’t get him wrong, but—). What the hell had he been thinking, when he couldn’t even handle a fully dressed Sasuke?

“Moron,” Sasuke insulted, releasing his hair. “You’ll pass out if you stay under for too long. It’s hot.” 

Any words Naruto had were still stuck in his throat. Sasuke up close was way worse (better, so much better) and it was all he could do not to stare like an idiot like that first time Sasuke had appeared with that godsdamn shirt outside of Orochimaru’s lair. But Sasuke was so fucking beautiful that it hurt.  

His collar bones were prominent and graceful, like the curve of his neck and the swell of his shoulders. Droplets of sweat were already running down the side of his pale jaw, making the long strands of his hair stick to his neck. His chest and his cheeks were flushed, slightly pink in a way that had Naruto’s stomach hot, like molten lava in less than a second. 

Yeah, this was a really bad idea. 

“Maybe I want to,” he muttered under his breath, mouth still half underwater. 

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. No one should look that hot doing that, Naruto thought absent mindedly, trying to look at the lanterns or the moon, or literally anything other than Sasuke for minute so that he would chill the fuck out. 

“What was that?” Sasuke sniped and then kicked Naruto in the shin. 

Naruto shot up out of the water, splashing everywhere. “Hey! Don’t kick me!”

“You dragged me here,” Sasuke scoffed. “You’re not even going to talk?”

He bristled, crossing his arms, definitely noticing how Sasuke’s eyes shot down to his chest and then back up. “You’re always saying I talk too much! My bad if I thought a little quiet would be relaxing!”

Sasuke hmmed in the back of his throat, watching Naruto with a dark gaze.

Naruto grinned and flexed his arms dramatically, finally feeling like he had the upper hand when Sasuke glared at him. “What,” he said, teasing and leaning into Sasuke’s space, “see something you like?”

Sasuke, never one to shy away from a challenge, stepped closer and set his hand down on the ledge behind Naruto, boxing him in. Naruto’s grin faltered. He smelled like electricity and spice, like an amber tea that warmed your blood the second you sipped it. Naruto’s blood was well beyond warmed with him this close, this naked —his cheeks flushed bright red again. Do not look down, Naruto chanted inside his head. Don’t do it. Don’t you dare fucking do it.

“Do you?” Sasuke murmured, his eyes hot and reverent, demanding. 

Yes. The word was on the tip of his tongue, trying to force its way out and into the air but Naturo clamped down on it with gritted teeth. Sasuke was challenging him, like he was certain that Naruto would break first, but there was no way he would be the first to fold. No fucking way.

“I—uh—geez, ‘Ske!” he shoved Sasuke away, into the water, laughing obnoxiously to cover his nerves or his rapid, shallow breaths. “Why are you always so intense,” he complained as he shook his head, trying to steady his racing heart.

Sasuke shrugged and then laid back against the edge of the pool, stealing Naruto’s spot. The motion made Naruto smile. He loved when Sasuke relaxed like this, even if their usual banter had taken a rather sudden and sexually charged turn. Hadn’t it?

 “You started it.” 

A handful of petals scattered in the breeze, dropping from the tree and winding down into the pool. One landed perfectly atop Sasuke’s hair, so lightly that Naruto wasn’t sure the other ninja noticed it. 

“Hey, wait,” Naruto said, and his breath caught in his throat as Sasuke moved back into his space, sliding forward on the ledge he was seated on and blinking droplets from his long, black lashes. The sight of Sasuke looking up at him, slanted eyes smoky and mesmerizing in the steam had Naruto’s heart rate spiking insanely. Insanely.

“You, um,” his voice dropped, raspy and glazed, just like his entire brain when Sasuke was this close. “You have a flower petal in your hair.” 

Naruto tilted his head slightly to see the petal better, his hand coming up to Sasuke’s cheek. As if he was trying to give Naruto better access and subsequently a fucking heart attack, Sasuke mimicked his motion, a half foot below him as he inclined his head in the opposite direction of Naruto’s. Like they were about to kiss. Like they were about to kiss— Naruto was slammed with the mental image of dragging his hands down Sasuke’s throat and closing the distance between them. 

Sasuke smirked like he knew exactly what Naruto was thinking. Gods, did that bastard know what he was doing? He had to, right? Sasuke always knew everything. Naruto knew he shouldn’t stare but his mouth looked so pink and soft, so attractive. He wondered if his tongue was the same color. But then that thought had him thinking about Sasuke’s tongue—Naruto swallowed forcefully as his entire body twitched, overheated and unfairly understimulated. 

He was going to die in this bath and it was going to be Sasuke’s fault.

“Are you going to get it, or?” Sasuke’s voice was uncharacteristically low, his pupils dilated as he scanned Naruto’s face. 

“Mhm,” Naruto murmured, unable to take his eyes off of Sasuke’s. 

He wanted to kiss him so badly. He could feel his breath, warm and inviting, brush over his mouth. Naruto’s hand slid into Sasuke’s hair, combing through it, and Sasuke’s eyes fluttered, falling half lidded. Naruto’s self control slipped even further and he found himself inhaling his name sharply, a breath, “Sasuke.” 

It was a confession and a plea all at once. It sounded like every time Naruto had cried out for him, in his nightmares, in their battles—like every time Sasuke had walked away. 

The realization hit him like a bucket of cold water being dumped over his head. 

This wasn’t about pride or who folded first. It was that he needed Sasuke to be the one to cross the bridge, like Naruto had done for them so many times. He needed to know Sasuke wanted this, because hadn’t Naruto already given him everything? He couldn’t take it if he gave this part of himself to Sasuke and he left. Of course their friendship would survive. Naruto just wasn’t sure that he would. He’d promised to abandon his dreams and die with this person. His person. Naruto was a mangled mess of endless devotion to Sasuke. He would rather die feeling this way than knowing it was unwelcome. 

Even the thought of it was painful enough for him to retract, petal in hand. “Here,” he said softly as he took Sasuke’s hand and unfolded it, dropping the petal into his palm. He started to move away, determined to go to a corner and stay there.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said and his name in his mouth was a command to stop, to return. Like every time before, Naruto obeyed, lingering in front of Sasuke. He stared sullenly at the rock that surrounded the baths behind Sasuke’s shoulders.

 “Look at me.” 

He did, trying to hide the affliction and the desperate desire that he knew was still in his face. Sasuke pinched the petal between his finger tips and he held it up beside Naruto’s eyes. His dark gaze flickered back and forth, a thoughtful expression pulling at his brows.

“What?” 

Sasuke’s eyes stilled on him and he smiled, a barely there twitch of his lips that transformed his whole face into something precious and luminous, like the shine of moonlight on a river. Naruto had never seen anything more beautiful, had never wanted more of something like he wanted more of this, of Sasuke smiling at him. “Just checking something.”

I’m in love with him.  

The thought hit Naruto like being caught underneath Pain’s Almighty Push, smashing through every bone in his body. He couldn’t inhale or move or do anything other than stare at Sasuke like he was a stranger because how had he ever misunderstood this feeling? This feeling, the same one he’d always had when he saw Sasuke smile or heard him laugh, like he was being swept up into the wind and curled into the sun. Like he’d do anything for it. Die for it. 

Naruto finally managed to make his jaw move. “And?”

Sasuke leaned forward and twirled a finger through the strands of Naruto’s hair and yanked, though not harshly. Naruto swatted him away, dancing a few feet backwards.

“And I was right.” Sasuke’s eyes were a brand, claiming him in a way no one else’s ever would. “Your eyes are bluer.” 

They didn’t stay much longer in the baths, though Naruto refused to get out first or make any kind of eye contact with Sasuke until they were both fully dressed again. He closed his eyes and kept them closed until Sasuke was gone, taking all of his heart palpating energy with him. When they were decent, the pair headed back to the house Sasuke had rented. 

The atmosphere between them was tense and silent in a way that didn’t feel uncomfortable but rather the opposite—they were both too aware of each other’s presence, avoiding any kind of unnecessary contact.

Naruto hated it. 

“You really wanna get outta here?” Naruto said, stepping towards Sasuke, who was intently ignoring him and packing his things. His black hair was still dripping, his solo traveling bag limp in his hands as he twisted to look at Naruto with mild annoyance. 

“I said that hours ago, idiot.”

“Alright, fine. Let’s go. But only if you promise to stay in Konoha with me for a few days.”

Sasuke sighed impatiently, “I already agreed, Naruto–mphhh–” his sentence was cut short by Naruto tackling him backwards. The world flashed around them and they dropped, hitting the wood floor of Naruto’s apartment together, Sasuke on his back and Naruto looking down at him. 

“Get off of me,” Sasuke said flatly, hair splayed behind him on the floor like a dark crown, lavender eye on full display. Naruto had no such plans. No one else got to do this, right? He felt a prick in his mouth as his canines elongated at the thought. No. He was certain of it, even as phantom jealousy ran through him. No one else was allowed to invade Sasuke’s personal space and live. He’d take what he could get, then. 

He leaned an elbow on the floor, letting all his weight drop onto Sasuke, who made an undignified oof at the suddenness and frowned up at him. “Nah,” he smiled, enjoying the view. “You’re pretty like this.” 

Sasuke’s face went white and then bright pink, the tips of his ears red with anger as he kneed Naruto so viciously in the side that it bruised a rib. “Stop saying shit like that,” Sasuke hissed, pulling himself off the floor and leaning against the counter and glowering. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Naruto’s eyebrows pulled together as he got up, grimacing at the pain in his side. As promised, there was no healing chakra from Kurama. A girlfriend? “Uh—no?” Where the hell had he gotten that idea? Naruto was fairly sure there was only one person in the world that he was even remotely interested in (okay, obsessed. Fucking obssessed, everyone had been right), and he was standing right in front of him. “Why would you think that?”

Sasuke was a silent shadow against the moonlight beaming through Naruto’s windows. His eyes betrayed him, flickering to the red scarf hanging by Naruto’s front door. Oh. Oh. Naruto’s brain scrambled to catch up. How did Sasuke know about Hinata giving him the scarf? Now that he thought about it, Sasuke’s chakra had flared right as Hinata had given it to him, so forcefully that Naruto had sprinted home and hadn’t properly thanked her—had Sasuke been there? Was that the reason he’d left? Was he… jealous? 

“Don’t even say it.”

“Say what?” Naruto immediately cut back. 

“Whatever it is your idiotic brain has come up with. Just—didn’t you say you had something to show me?”

“Oh!” Naruto brightened, then deflated a bit. He knew Sasuke was redirecting him, but he’d promised himself he wouldn’t push too hard. “You know the shrine I’ve talked about? You think you’d like to see it? I know it’s pretty late but we could also check out the orphanage.”

“Maybe.”

Naruto grinned. “C’mon. Let’s go see it.” 

“...fine.” 

The walk through the Uchiha District was eerie, if you weren’t accustomed to the emptiness. Naruto, however, came often, and rather liked the tranquility of the abandoned District. Not much of it had survived Pain’s attack, but there were a few neighborhoods and the Square. Vines and flowers of all kinds permeated the paths, unused houses in disrepair reclaimed by the earth in a way that was both haunting and beautiful. The orphanage had been fashioned out of three traditional houses that bordered Konoha and the Uchiha gate. It had been dark and quiet with all the children asleep, but Naruto had promised to bring Sasuke back and introduce him to his favorite brats the next day. 

The shrine was dark, the candles and lanterns unlit. With a few rapid, thin breaths, Sasuke lit them with his Canton, transforming the Uchiha Square into a warm amber relic of what it had once been. There were pictures everywhere, all pulled from the houses. Each family had an individual shrine, with Sasuke’s family’s sitting in the middle, underneath the newly carved statue made in Itachi’s image. The glow from the candles surrounding their family photo illuminated the stony panes of Itachi’s face.

Sasuke came to a stop in front of his brother, skimming the plaque at his side that told the story of Itachi Uchiha , and the unjust sacrifices he was commanded to make for the Leaf. When he was finished, his hand reached up to brush over his brother’s cheek. 

Naruto knew the weight of Itachi’s death hung differently on Sasuke’s shoulders. He suspected it was the greatest reason for his atonement and yet also the reason he would never be able to see Konoha the way Naruto did. It didn’t mean Naruto couldn’t try his best, though, to make it a place that didn’t remind Sasuke of his brother’s fate, or his own. Sasuke bent down to smooth a single finger over his mother’s face in the photo Naruto had found hanging along the walls of their old house. He’d cleaned the frame of blood splatters and dust—it was the first of the shrines he’d built. 

“People come here, y’know,” Naruto said softly. “We bring the kids from the Academy to pay their respects and there are a lot of people who had friends in the Uchiha District that never had a way to honor them.” He’d seen people bring all sorts of trinkets: books and flowers and photos of their own, weeping quietly at the foot of shrines. 

“You did this?” Sasuke asked quietly, fingers running over one of his father’s kunai and then dancing away to caress an old Shogi set Naruto had found in the front room of their house. His mother’s watering can sat amongst the memorabilia, but Sasuke did not touch that. His hand hovered above it, a dark crack splintering his chakra so viscerally that Naruto winced. Sasuke had once told Naruto in a letter that his mother had loved gardening. It was why tomatoes were his favorite. They reminded him of her. 

Naruto rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Not just me, y’know? Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan helped and some other people volunteered too. I just—I wanted you to come home knowing that it’s different. That it’s changed, for the better. So that maybe you could try to have a home here again.”

“Thank you,” Sasuke said after a long time and turned to him. There were trails of tears staining his ivory cheeks. Clear, not bloody. “But this was my home, Naruto.” The grief in Sasuke’s voice was fresh, biting. Raw, like he was seven and staring at his parent’s dead bodies all over again. “I do not know how to build a home on the remains of what I have lost. It feels as if I am betraying them.” 

Naruto’s heart ached, just as it always did when he saw Sasuke’s hurt. All he wanted was to soothe it. “What if…we built a home together? A little ways away from Konoha, that way it doesn’t feel like you’re starting over here.”

Somewhere you can see the stars, is what Naruto did not say. Somewhere that is still yours, but not haunted. How Naruto ached for Sasuke to have it, to just know stability and love again. He’d craved it for himself for years, he knew how deeply it could hurt a person to live without it. But his words were not what Sasuke had needed to hear. 

His best friend’s face was stoic as he stared blankly at Naruto, his voice hollow when he spoke. “That’s not funny.”

Naruto shifted uncomfortably, feeling incredibly vulnerable. He had been thinking, you know, about all of this for about a year now. His voice took a bit of a defensive tone. “Well, I’m not joking. I’m happier when you here and you—you feel like home and I know you hate Konoha but maybe we could find a place—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke snapped coldly, his nose scrunching as he yanked away. 

Naruto, not knowing how, just kept explaining himself, “I was thinking somewhere nice, outside of the city.”

Sasuke shook his head once and then twice, his high features unreadable. “What are you talking about?” he asked slowly. 

“For you to stay,” Naruto’s heart dipped in his chest, his words turning cautious. “Like we could live together. Like you would have a room there, and I thought you might like it more than traveling all the time or Konoha. I don’t know,” he added after an awkward moment of silence. “It was just an idea I had.”

“Just an idea?” Sasuke repeated. His eyes hardened, in a way that Naruto knew he was angry. Just the slightest, self-righteous fury in the pinch of his cheek; the flicker of his eyelids. Just what was he so sure about, Naruto wanted to ask, that he looked at him like that? 

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a scoff, a cast of eyes away from him in that easy, frigid and callous way Sasuke had. “Shut up. Don’t waste my time with that.”

“Waste your—” Naruto’s jaw nearly fell to the floor. What a self-righteous prick! “Do you hear yourself, you asshole? I was just asking you a question! You don’t have to be such a bastard about it.” 

This time Sasuke laughed, but it was a cold, removed thing. “Right. You were just asking me a question.” His laugh pitched at the end, turning sharp and bitter, and then he said, “I can’t do this here,” and proceeded to turn away. From the shrine and Naruto and the village all together, towards the woods.

What?

A violent and irrational fear ripped through Naruto, as if his heart had been jerked straight from his ribcage. It was a moment of such sheer panic that he was numb to it all. And before he knew it, Naruto was running after him, pulling at his cloak and saying, too loudly, too demandingly, “Don’t—Sasuke—”

Sasuke whirled around, sending them both flying to a halt. “Naruto, drop it.” He said it gently, but his tone was laced with the promise of violence and there was a swirl to the atmosphere. Something black and raw was crackling inside of his chakra, and Naruto knew what it meant. It meant Sasuke was going to leave. They glared at each other for a solid minute, Sasuke, pissed that Naruto wouldn't let him leave and Naruto, pissed that Sasuke wanted to.  

“I need to go,” Sasuke said suddenly and Naruto’s entire world jolted in a terrifying halt at the rising swirl of Sasuke’s Rinnegan. 

“No.” The cry was mangled, tearing out of him. A cold sweat had coated his body, his pulse racing in a way that made the edges of his vision black. Fuck. Fuck, now not a great time to have a panic attack. But he couldn’t—Sasuke couldn’t leave again, not like this, not after an argument. What if he never came back? Sasuke could live without him. Naruto was sure of it. He would figure something out, but he could live. Naruto…feared he would go mad if he lost Sasuke. Something inside of him would break, and Naruto didn’t ever want to know what. 

“Sasuke, you can’t!” His fingers snagged in the back of Sasuke’s cloak and reeled him around to where they stood nose to nose. Naruto let go of his cloak to grab his wrist, swallowing nervously at the viscous gleam in Sasuke’s Rinnegan. “I’m sorry! I take it back, just—don’t go yet! Where are you going? Will you come back?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened for half a second, and then he gave a short, manic laugh. “You take it back?” He gave Naruto an unnervingly sharp smile. It looked like the sheen of his katana. “Let go of me.” He attempted to shake Naruto’s hand off his wrist, but it was useless. Naruto wasn’t letting go of Sasuke any time soon. 

“No,” Naruto said a little too fast, “We could go somewhere together. Or you could stay.” The panic and anger that had him gripping Sasuke’s forearm was bewildering, but Naruto could not let go all the same. Even thinking it made his blood hot, because how could he? How dare he try to leave like this again? 

Sasuke’s chakra erupted around them, his eyes whirling blood red and lavender. Thunder rumbled abovehead, the air thickening with electricity. “Naruto, let me go.”

“You can’t go!” Naruto growled, flaring into Ninetails mode and burning bright orange. Great, now they’d have Anbu witnessing this shitshow. Sasuke struggled in his arms, kicking wildly as he tried to break Naruto’s hold. Naruto ground his teeth against the blows and growled, canines sharpening in his mouth and cutting through his bottom lip. 

Sasuke would have to kill him before he let him go again. 

His heart fractured as Sasuke snarled, wildly, and the Rinnegan flared, sending them flying towards a tree and Naruto, totally caught off guard, did the first thing he could think of. About a hundred clones of himself appeared between the two of them and the tree; the first line of Naruto’s gave an oof right before they popped out of existence. As they were slowed to a halt by the Narutos, Sasuke shook his head, real irritation pulling up the corner of his mouth as he tried to shake Naruto’s grasp once more.

“I will wipe this pathetic city with you and your moronic jutsus,” he swore viciously, twisting in another attempt to get away, the energy of his chakra crackling like before he cast the Chidori. 

Naruto didn’t give a shit. He doubled down, using Sasuke’s shock against him and lunged forward to wrap himself tightly around Sasuke. His friend twisted instinctively, cracking an elbow into Naruto’s jaw. 

“Go ahead and try, bastard,” Naruto snarled back, blood dripping over his teeth as he grinned at Sasuke. “I’ll take your other arm off if I have to.”

Sasuke seethed, shoving him backwards with another elbow to the face. “You’re fucking hurting me.” 

“Yeah?” Naruto shinshined them back to his apartment with some difficulty, pushing Sasuke back in the transition before slamming Sasuke into his kitchen wall with a forearm at his throat.

Both of them were heaving. Naruto pressed down harder when Sasuke attempted a kick, snapping, “You’re hurting me, too, Sasuke. Stop running away from me. Aren’t we friends? I’m trying so hard but how the hell am I supposed to be there for you if you’re not even here?” 

Sasuke’s eyes were still active, the hum of his chakra still wild and dangerous, just as he was at his core. His entire body was shaking with rage and despair. “I hate you,” he said menacingly, but there was silver touching the corners of his spinning eyes. “Why do you have to make this so hard?”

“That’s fine,” Naruto said, leaning his forehead against Sasuke’s and closing his eyes. He could feel Sasuke’s pounding heart beneath the forearm braced across his chest. Real. Not a ghost, not another nightmare where he slipped through Naruto’s fingers once again. Staying. “Hate me all you like. I’ve already told you that I will bear the burden of your hatred. Now and forever.” 

He felt the fight go out of Sasuke at his words.

Sasuke's chakra dropped, plummeted so harshly that his hand came to grip the back of Naruto’s neck to hold himself upright. He pressed his forehead harshly into Naruto’s, fusing them together. Naruto wanted to fold him into his arms, to hold him so tightly that he broke only to show him that he would gladly piece him back together, no matter how sharp the shards. 

Sasuke let out a long breath before saying in the quiet, cold air of the night, “Let me fade from this place and you, Naruto. I shouldn’t be here. I should have died with Itachi. Even knowing that this village still stands after what it took from me, from them—” Sasuke shook his head, and Naruto opened his eyes to see the Sharigan still bloody in the darkness. 

In a voice that was very uncharacteristically soft, Sasuke whispered, “Just let me go.” 

For all Sasuke’s fierce resolution, the silver lining his eyes spilled over, dripping down his cheeks. He had healed so much. He was in Konoha. He was in the Uchiha District and hadn't unleashed a single jutsu. Like hell Naruto would let him fade away into the world, to become a nameless shinobi with no one left to love or love them. Sasuke would always have Naruto. 

Naruto’s arm slid from Sasuke’s chest to hug Sasuke, hard, as he said defiantly, “Never.”

And for the first time, Sasuke hugged him back with equal vitality, pressing his eyes into Naruto’s shoulder as he shattered silently in the dark. He clung to Naruto like a man lost at sea clinging to his boat—like he had nothing else left in the world. 

Chapter Text

Sasuke did not know. He had been overwhelmed, drowned by the grief; the cutting image of his mother’s smile and Itachi’s steady voice cleaving him in two, the memory of his father teaching him the Canton like water filling his lungs. The loss of his cousins, the other Uchiha children he had grown up beside, his aunts, his everything. Everything he’d ever known and loved—the Uchiha market, mornings with his mother—gone. 

And then, as always, the wound of Itachi. His death, twice. 

Sasuke had not once let himself grieve it. He had moved forward, as ninja did. Nowhere had he ever felt safe enough to collapse, nowhere, of course, besides Naruto. The thought smarted and chafed against Sasuke’s very soul. Why must he always slip through the cracks? Sasuke had never planned for anything past Itachi’s death and every moment afterwards felt as if he were bearing another cursed seal: overwhelming and impossible to control. Naruto had saved him, but in doing so, had also ruined him. He didn’t know how to continue living; the act of it was oppressive. Painful.

Sasuke opened his eyes with a wince. His head hurt. 

Somehow he’d ended up in Naruto’s bed, which he vaguely remembered being shoved into but had been too exhausted to care. The blonde was sprawled across the pillows meant to be separating them and then some. Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, frowning. His dreams had been dark and drenched with the Uchiha shrine and the argument that he and Naruto had among the remains of his family. He did not want to face Naruto or to discuss what had taken place. What he did want was a shower and six glasses of water. Possibly to leave before Naruto woke up. 

Sasuke sighed at his own thoughts and thudded his forehead against Naruto’s shoulder. The idiot didn’t even budge. The bed was too warm, smelled too much like Naruto. There was an arm in Sasuke’s face and a foot underneath his own. He knew that if he allowed him to, Naruto would have been even closer. He’d always known that subconsciously. It was why he ran. And because spending time with Naruto always made Sasuke feel more like himself than he ever did than when he was alone. Happier. Sasuke loved and hated it in equal parts. He didn’t deserve it, and yet he coveted it with a sinister desire. 

He knew they would inevitably destroy each other. No matter what they meant to each other—there was the irreconcilable difference of their beliefs in Konoha and the madness that lurked within Sasuke’s heart. He loved like an Uchiha and his Sharingan would not allow him to forget it. The Kekkei Genkai had bled into every inch of his life and colored his view of the world red and black. It beckoned, even now; a pulse of chakra behind his eyes commanding him to memorize every detail of Naruto, to protect him and what was theirs’ by any means. Any at all. Naruto wasn’t like that. He would find a way, but there would be compromise. And Sasuke didn’t make compromises. There was also the additional fact that Naruto had pulled away from him at the bath house looking so…sad. Melancholy. Why? He’d been sure Naruto was going to kiss him. 

Sasuke closed his eyes against the blossoming migraine behind his temple. 

No. He didn’t care. About any of it. He’d decided long ago that it would not fall on Naruto to bring him back or to constantly curve his worst tendencies. Not Naruto, who had already suffered so much from Sasuke’s mistakes. Naruto was inherently good and Sasuke…was not. He was violent and possessive and cruel when it suited his interests. If he had his way, Naruto would never step foot in Konoha again. Last night was—a mistake, he corrected himself, shutting the memory of it away. He did not care. 

Naruto disrupted his thoughts by worming closer, squishing the pillows between them uncomfortably as he laid his cheek atop Sasuke’s head. Sasuke let out a long sigh, surrendering to their closeness and the reality that he was not as changed as he’d wished. Naruto would become Hokage and Sasuke would never be able to reconcile with Konoha. Not truly. He refused to come second in Naruto’s heart to the very place that had taken everything from him. But, Naruto deserved his dream and Sasuke would swallow his love—he already had for his entire life—to ensure that Naruto never felt like he had to choose. 

But when he and Naruto were this close, when he could feel his breath stirring the strands of his hair and an arm sliding down his shoulder to rest in the bend of his waist, Sasuke’s heart kept trying to come up, right out of his throat. He loved him like the earth loved the bones buried beneath its soil—suffocating and all consuming, with no room for anything else. He wanted to swallow him whole and bury himself inside his skin at the same time. 

Against his better instincts, Sasuke pressed forward, fitting his forehead and nose into the curve of Naruto’s neck. He smelled of sweat and lemons, of sunshine and wind and home. Sasuke’s mouth hovered inches above his skin, gutted by the knowledge that one press would infinitely complicate their lives or quite possibly be the best thing he’d ever done for himself. But he hadn’t taught himself discipline for nothing. Naruto had already saved Sasuke once. Sasuke would do the rest of the saving, even if it killed him to try. His journey of atonement must resume. He would no longer interfere with Naruto’s dreams. 

It was the least he could do. 

So, in the spirit of goodbye, Sasuke promised to try and accept that Naruto loved Konoha with all his stupid, massive heart. Until then, he would miss his smile, the curve of his mouth and the blinding sheen of his teeth. The way his whiskers disappeared and folded into his cheeks when he laughed, and the raspy, rich sound of it. His touch and this, this, this—the way their bodies rose and fell together, breath for breath. The way his chakra soothed Sasuke’s soul in a way no one else’s did. A bittersweet feeling coursed through Sasuke. He would write. He would tell him this time that he would miss him, and in a few years he would come back for a couple of days. He could do that. 

He could. Right?

When Sasuke woke for the second time, Naruto was staring at him. His eyes were twin blue flames in the periwinkle morning draped over the bedroom, his hair a scraggly mess against the burnt orange of his pillow. The rich color made his hair a shade brighter and his skin a warm gold. Rugged and obliviously handsome. Sasuke’s throat constricted at the idea of leaving, of letting someone else have this. His Sharingan activated by itself, a brief flash of red that snapped in and out of existence as Sasuke tried to school his thoughts into submission. 

Naruto smiled at the sight of it, crooked and tinged with sleep. “Hi,” he said without taking his eyes off of Sasuke. More pillows had been discarded into the floor or skewed by Naruto’s movements after Sasuke had fallen back asleep, leaving the two facing each other with their kneecaps brushing. Naruto’s arm had been removed from Sasuke’s waist to lay between them, but his knuckles were brushing the fabric of Sasuke’s black t-shirt. 

Sasuke stared back. 

He liked to call Sasuke pretty, but Naruto—he was the sun. All devilish charm and canines and defiant blue eyes that were dilated, watching Sasuke’s every breath with a rapt intensity. Living in his focus was addicting. Slightly terrifying, because it was impossible to know what came next. Maybe it was because he’d already decided to leave, or because of the thought of someone else waking up next to Naruto like this, but Sasuke raised his hand and brushed his fingers lightly over Naruto’s whisker marks. He’d always wanted to know what they felt like. They were surprisingly soft. 

Naruto had gone still when Sasuke touched him, his eyes large and dark as they remained on Sasuke’s face. Don’t kiss me, he thought, his heart a knife in his chest, we would tear each other apart and ruin the only thing in my life that matters.

His hand drifted up to tug on a piece of Naruto’s hair to break the tension as he asked, “Are you always this disheveled in the morning?”

Naruto laughed softly and leaned into Sasuke’s touch. “Yeah, probably.” He grinned widely, half of his face disappearing into his pillow. “Are you always this pretty in the morning?” 

Sasuke froze. 

He’d regretted the last time he’d left—Sasuke took his hand away from Naruto’s face, which caused the blonde to falter slightly. He had promised to try, but he couldn’t let Naruto get too close, either. If he did, there would be no shaking him. Sasuke drew back slightly and narrowed his eyes. “You’re obnoxious.” 

“You like it.”

“Do not.”

Naruto eyed him warily, like he was trying to gauge if Sasuke was lying, before rolling on his back and saying casually to the ceiling, “Wasn’t really expecting you to be here when I woke up though.” 

“Not a strong point for your argument,” Sasuke pointed out. He knew he should get up, but everything inside of him wanted to prolong this moment. And the next. And also leave at the same time. Gods, he was a fucking mess. 

Naruto glanced over at him, a slight smirk playing on his mouth as he shrugged, unbothered by Sasuke’s comment. “We both know you like me. I don’t need to make an argument.” 

Sasuke frowned at his confidence. “You don’t know that.”

Naruto giggled to himself, rolling back over to poke Sasuke in the side. “Oh, but you do?”

Sasuke’s chakra guttered and then spiked, but he managed to keep his eye from twitching. “I should have smothered you with your pillow,” he muttered, debating on seeing how long it would take Naruto to return if he dropped him in an alternate dimension. Probably less than a day. He was annoying that way.

“You couldn’t live without me,” Naruto threw over his shoulder as he got up to get dressed. “Your chakra gives you away.”

“Can and could,” was all Sasuke said back, knowing full well it was a lie. He’d burn the world if Naruto died. He’d create the Infinite Tsukuyomi in a heartbeat, if that’s what it took to have him, but he kept that to himself. Naruto would hate that. 

Naruto laughed as he grabbed a pair of clothes. “You’re such a liar. You’re here, which means you couldn’t. You couldn’t live without me any more than I could live without you.”

At this, Sasuke’s interest peaked. He’d pulled himself up to sling his legs over the bed, his bare feet cold against the floor as he observed the chaotic process of Naruto getting ready, ignoring the pulse in his blood that whispered, Go, go, go, go.

“And you couldn’t?”

Midway through ruffling through his sock drawer, Naruto paused for a second and then said without turning around, “Wouldn’t be able to bear it for a heartbeat.” A dark chuckle. “Kurama says I’d go mad.”

“Would you?” Sasuke pressed, curious. Mad? No, he couldn’t imagine Naruto being mad. 

“Probably,” Naruto admitted. “But I don’t wanna think about that. Hey! You know what we should do today after we talk to Kakashi-sensei? We should go see Lee’s dojo! They just opened this year, you’d really like it.”

“Sure.” He doubted that, but it would be his last day in Konoha for a while. He’d like Naruto to remember it as a good one. They were ready and out of the apartment quickly after that, both of them eager to inform Kakashi and get on with their day. Sasuke, because he knew seeing the Hokage would lead to some kind of unpleasant conversation, while Naruto couldn’t shut up about having the afternoon off. 

When the pair arrived at the Hokage’s doors in the tower, they were escorted inside by a pissed off looking Shikamaru, who gave them both a spine chilling glare on his way out. “Don’t,” he said sharply, “let him leave.” Sasuke merely raised a brow as he and Naruto entered the office to find their sensei at his desk with his head in his arms, Hokage hat discarded on the back of his chair. 

“Uhhh,” Naruto started, creeping forward cautiously to nudge Kakashi, “Kakashi-sensei? You good?”

“Don’t speak to me,” Kakashi wallowed, waving Naruto off with a floppy, depressed hand, face hidden behind the mass of his silver hair, “Shikamaru just stole my Itcha Itcha book. Traitorous rat.” 

“That’s because you’re supposed to be doing work,” Sasuke said without an ounce of sympathy, setting his hand on his hip. “The Amekagure ninja accepted your terms. Naruto, give him the treaty.” 

Kakashi faked gasped as he sat up, placing a hand to his heart. “You turn your back on me so quickly, Sasuke. I’m wounded.” 

“Find a medic nin, then, but don’t waste my time.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, taking the papers Naruto was holding out to him. “I haven’t assigned you anything, Uchiha. Quit acting like you have somewhere to be.” A silver eyebrow shot up. “Unless,” he voice dropped into a suggestive tone as his eyes shifted between Sasuke and Naruto, “you two have finally sealed the dea—”

“RIGHT!” Naruto burst, whirling around and grabbing Sasuke by the wrist, “See you later, Hokage-sama! Have fun with all that paperwork!”

“Naruto, not you too!” came Kakashi’s cry as they left.

“Dumb Hokage,” Naruto grumbled under his breath as he released Sasuke. His ears were tinged pink. Sasuke smirked to himself, feeling oddly satisfied with Naruto’s reaction. Good to know he wasn’t the only one that got flustered by Kakashi’s ridiculous teasing. 

Sasuke offered Naruto a half smile and said, “I couldn’t agree more.”

Lee’s dojo was objectively not that horrible. Other than the loud, boisterous green monstrosity running around, it was actually one of the better training arenas that Sasuke had visited. There was a wide variety of weaponry to practice with, even some Sasuke wasn’t familiar with, thanks to Tenten being the weapons supplier. She had given him the creepiest look when he picked up an unfamiliar looking type of sword—the gleam in her eye the same as the one Orochimaru had when one of his experiments had been successful. Sasuke made note not to ever approach her about weaponry if he wanted to leave within the day. 

He and Naruto had several good sessions, though he maintained a safe distance that he knew was irritating Naruto by the end of the day. The dojo was busy enough with other ninja that Sasuke survived unscathed, even when he didn’t take the third opportunity to take Naruto’s feet out from under him. Naruto relaxed not long after that, swiping a forearm over his brow, smiling at Sasuke, “Man, I’m beat. Let’s call it a day.” Sasuke made no objections, trailing after Naruto as 

The sun was setting outside the dojo windows when they bid Lee a goodbye, which took at least twenty minutes between his animated lamentations that they both must come back soon. Sasuke said nothing as Naruto assured that they would be, knowing that any promises of staying would be lies. He needed to go before Naruto grew more hopeful. They were silent for the majority of the way back to Naruto’s apartment, but as they neared, Sasuke caught a look of curiosity passing over Naruto’s features that he knew meant a question was coming his way.

“Hey, say, what would you do if I died, Sasuke?”

He was still thinking about that? 

Sasuke startled himself when he answered fluidly, “Master the Rinnegan and find you in another universe.” 

He fought the rising sense of embarrassment that welled up in him as Naruto, taken aback, gaped at him. But it wasn’t a lie. He would, and if that didn’t work—Sasuke looked straight ahead as they walked. What was that about? He’d thought they’d dropped this topic hours ago. 

Naruto shook his head in confusion, and jogged a few steps to catch up to Sasuke. “Wait! But it wouldn’t be me, it would be another me. Right? Wouldn’t that be weird? What if our lives weren’t the same? What if I was like,” his nose scrunched up in distaste, “Menma?” He said the name with a shudder. 

Sasuke twisted his neck to narrow his eyes at Naruto. “Would you not know me?” 

He wouldn’t settle for any Naruto, and he definitely wouldn’t settle for one as different as Menma was from the original. But Naruto’s surprise at his answer is what irked him. He waited, impatient to be done with this topic. 

“No,” Naruto said instinctively, and then looked a bit shocked at his own answer. “No,” he said again, looking sure, “every version of me knows you.”

Sasuke nodded firmly, once, like he knew what he was saying. He didn’t. “Then you have your answer.” The street lights had come on, bathing the streets in a warm glow that matched the black and pink sky that swirled above head. A gust of bitter wind blew around them, sakura blossoms stirring prettily in the breeze, but it felt good after the heat of the dojo. 

“Wow,” Naruto exclaimed softly, shoving his hands into his pockets. A reverent expression came over his eyes as he stared at Sasuke. “So you would travel through an unknown amount of universes just to find me again? What if the universes closest to here are all like way different and we don’t even exist? Would you really just leave behind everyone here? I mean what about Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei and your friends from Taka—”

“Naruto,” Sasuke said seriously. The two of them had stopped on the street in front of Naruto’s apartment at the base of the stairs. He’d never really known how to express it. How he felt for Naruto. The feeling was too wild for words, chaotic and all consuming in a way that made language obsolete. So instead, he vowed, “I’d find you. It would be meaningless without you.”

Naruto’s smile turned teasing, warm, as he leaned forward and reached for his chin. “Sasuke, are you confessing your love for me right now?” 

Sasuke didn’t hesitate. The tomoe in his eyes dilated and then whirled, one eye swimming red as he sucked Naruto in a genjutsu where he promptly socked him straight in his dumb face.“That was not a confession, you moron.”

Naruto went yowling, as another Naruto appeared behind Sasuke, grabbing at him, who neatly danced away from his attack. “I think you loveee me,” the clone sang smugly.

Sasuke released the genjutsu. “Shut up,” he shook his head. Last thing he wanted was Naruto goading him into shoving him through an apartment door. That had happened on their trip in Amekagure and nearly blown their cover. Fucking dumbass. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Naruto said, laughing as he pushed past Sasuke, “come on, I wanna watch a movie.” 

Sasuke, who had showered first because Naruto “wouldn’t let a guest shower last”, was sitting on the couch, his wet hair clinging to his cheeks and remote in hand as he stared blankly at the television. He’d been instructed to choose the movie for tonight, but the remote only worked if you held it at a weird angle and he didn’t know the first thing about movies, except the few that Naruto had forced him to sit through. The one he’d like the most had been something Naruto called a drama, so he chose another one of those—one depicting a folk tale of a long lost god and a war that ensued because of…Sasuke’s train of thought unraveled as Naruto came padding into the living room in nothing but his boxers, towel drying his hair as his blue eyes lit up at the sight of the movie. Sasuke’s eyes drifted down the swell of his chest to his stomach to—television. Remote. Movie. His fingers tapped restlessly on the side of the remote as Naruto turned away from the screen to look at him. 

“Oh, I love this one! It’s so good, Sasuke, you’ll really like it!”

Sasuke was burning a hole into the television as he held the remote up and selected the movie worldlessly. He was going to kill someone at this rate, if he didn’t leave soon. Preferably himself. 

“Hey.” Naruto’s eyes were like crystal, blue and endless. He visibly relaxed when Sasuke met his gaze. “Wait for me, ‘kay? I’m gonna go get changed.”

When Naruto came back, Sasuke blinked at him as he stood in front of Sasuke, grinning in plaid black and blue pants, “You want a blanket or anything? Popcorn?”

Sasuke tried to keep his face from changing. “No,” he said flatly, “I’m fine.” 

“Are ya sure?” There was a tinge of something in Naruto's voice. Well, I’m gonna make us some popcorn.”

“Yes.” Sasuke answered. He was trying not to think about how Naruto looked, damp from the shower and very blonde, when Naruto reappeared at the end of the couch, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his massive smile as he held out the popcorn. Something warm surged up in Sasuke and he took the bowl from Naruto, their fingers brushing as it passed between them. “Thank you.” 

Naruto just smiled even wider and that’s how Sasuke somehow ended up sitting beside Naruto on his two seater couch, one of Naruto’s legs thrown over his, as they occasionally fought over who got to use the foot space on the coffee table. The television was a low hum in the background, Sasuke’s eyes faintly trained on the images as he watched. Naruto had sprawled out, one arm stuck halfway behind Sasuke, his face pressed to Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke literally hadn’t moved except to prop his feet up and to occasionally slide further into his side of the couch. 

Out of the blue, about three-fourths through the movie, Sasuke felt Naruto’s voice rumble up through the side of his body. “You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?”

Sasuke debated feigning ignorance, or just not answering. They were both things he’d done before. It wasn’t as if Naruto was being very straightforward about it. But he didn’t really enjoy lying to Naruto and what was the point? He’d already decided he would leave again. What was one concession, one that would make Naruto happy, when he would be alone for the next few years. Sasuke turned to look down at him. 

“Yes,” he said quietly, “I know.”

Naruto’s returning smile was drowsy and brilliant, like the haze of sunset spilling over the world. “Good,” he murmured, eyelids drooping, “that’s all I ever wanted.” The arm behind Sasuke moved, Naruto’s bandaged fingers sinking into the crease of Sasuke’s hip and dragging him tightly against Naruto’s chest. “Stay,” Naruto grumbled into Sasuke’s shirt as Sasuke stiffened at the intimate position, “just for a second.”

“Naruto,” Sasuke warned, forcing his breath to remain steady as Naruto’s touch sent a shiver up his spine. He focused hard on the television, trying to rid himself of the sensation of Naruto’s fingertips digging into his skin. 

“Mhm.” Naruto ignored him, his forehead bumping the underside of Sasuke’s jaw as he pressed closer, mumbling, “I know you’re the lone-wolf-never-hold-anyone-type, but humor me, w’ouldja? I missed you.”

“Hn,” Sasuke protested, but didn’t pull away. Naruto’s breaths turned long and deep and slowly, Sasuke relaxed. After he was sure Naruto was asleep, he laid his cheek atop his bright hair. So soft. For so long, Sasuke had been searching for a sense of peace that his very soul seemed to repel, a new purpose that would give his life meaning. He’d traveled the world to find that nothing filled the endless, churning hole he had for a heart. But for some reason…

He laid his hand atop Naruto’s, wondering, Is it you? 

“I don’t mind,” he confessed in a whisper, both as an answer to himself and to Naruto, “not if it's you.”

Sasuke was reinvigorated by his thoughts. It was right to go, to ensure that Naruto’s dream was not sidelined by his inexplicable love for Sasuke, who had no idea how to return it without killing them both. With a subtle substitution jutsu that left Naruto gripping a Kakashi-shaped body pillow, Sasuke snatched his cloak and storage scroll from his room and slid out the living room window.

The rooftops of Konoha had changed since he was a child, but navigating them was easier since Anbu knew of his right to come and go. He dropped down onto a familiar road that led to the Uchiha District, and past it, out of Konoha. Sasuke had made it maybe five steps before he sensed someone familiar following him. Ah. Even after all these years, somet things never changed. Stopping dead in the middle of the road, Sasuke half turned to address her. 

“Come to tell me not to leave again?”

“No.” Sakura stepped forward, out of the shadows cast by the cherry blossoms that were shining in the moonlight. The night was frigid, the last cold spell of spring, wind whipping Sakura’s bright pink hair around her pale cheeks. “You’d just leave anyways.”

Sasuke didn’t bother to tell her that she was right. Her eyes were so similar to that night, the first time he’d left, turquoise and shining and full of anguish. But the childlike hope had dimmed, replaced by a bone deep sorrow that all ninja wore. She hadn’t understood then, but she did now. It didn’t change how Sasuke felt—her love was a burden of guilt he had never truly been able to shake. He had done nothing to deserve it and in all honesty, had never returned it. He’d been consumed by his hatred for Itachi and what was left had always been for Naruto. It still was. 

“I was sad,” Sakura admitted as she halted a few feet from Sasuke with a wary look, “when you told me that you care for me, but not in the way I’d hoped. But it gave me time to think, and I’ve figured you out.”

“Saukra,” Sasuke started with a sigh, not wanting to have another pointless discussion about his feelings for her, but she cut him off.

“You’re in love with him.” 

Sasuke didn’t so much as breathe as he watched her, irritation and fury and denial, denial, denial, crackling inside of him like violence. He smothered it. 

Her voice, which had always been high pitched and elated when she spoke to him, was clear and steady. Certain. “Naruto. You love Kakashi and I, too, but it’s different. You don’t run from us. You didn’t run from Itachi, either.”

“I’m not running from him,” Sasuke rejected automatically and then clenched his jaw when a sliver of satisfaction crossed Sakura’s face. Stupid, he cursed himself. He’d fallen straight for her fucking trap. It would look worse to lie now and say he wasn’t, not when faced with Sakura as his judge. She wouldn’t be fooled that easily. So, he remained silent, waiting for the rest of what she had to say. He was cursed regardless. Had been from the moment he was born as an Uchiha. 

Sakura crossed her arms and looked down her nose at him with a disapproving expression. Sasuke figured that was deserving. There was so little of the spoiled, whiny girl that he had despised in her now—only the brilliant and cunning mind that she’d hidden for far too long. She truly was formidable when she wanted to be. Tsunade could not have chosen a better successor. And much like her mentor, Sakura wasted no time, each blow earth shattering as she ripped into Sasuke. 

“You take a part of him each time you leave. You know that, don’t you? When you aren’t here, there is this distance in him. He doesn’t talk as much when we go on missions. He drifts off to stare at the horizon, as if there is something out there he’s waiting for. Some weeks he forgets to sleep, and you know what he talks about on those weeks the most? How much he misses you. He would give up everything for you, though I could argue that he already has—”

“Why do you think I’m going?” Sasuke snapped, interrupting her. He couldn’t stand another second of her condescending tone. As if she knew Naruto better than him. “Of course I know.” 

Sakura gave an irate scoff. “Do you think just because you’re not here, he’ll stop loving you? Because he won’t. He never gives up, and especially,” she emphasized bitterly, “never on you.”

Sasuke shook his head, not really caring if she understood for his sake. He needed her to be on his side. For Naruto. He needed someone else here to burn it into Naruto’s mind that he and Sasuke would never work. Maybe it was Sasuke’s fault—it was, it always was—that he couldn’t surrender his pride, but Naruto didn’t get to have them both. Not now, and maybe not ever. “He doesn’t love me. He loves the idea of saving me.” He paused. “Sakura, you know that if he’s going to be Hokage, he has to stop putting me first.” 

We would grow to resent each other, is what Sasuke did not say but had been thinking all along. My hatred for his beloved home would devastate us both. And I cannot live without him.

A look of understanding dawned over Sakura’s face. “So you think taking yourself out of the equation will fix things.” She laughed, but it was a sad, depressing sound. “You’re both idiots.”

That, Sasuke agreed with. “If I stayed, we would ruin each other.”

“Maybe you would.” Sakura shrugged, tired frown lines pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Maybe you wouldn’t. You can't escape him, or the fact that he’s where you want to be. But go ahead and try, Sasuke. See how that works out for you.” 

Sasuke looked at her. She was vision among her namesake, cheeks tinged pink from the cold, a navy sweater buttoned up to her throat. Lovely, and likely the strongest member of Team 7. Probably the smartest, too. What a shame it was that Naruto hadn’t just fallen in love with her. Maybe he would, now that she was over Sasuke. Sasuke swallowed sharply at his own thoughts. But the jealousy, the rage, was meaningless. He couldn’t be just friends. He couldn’t be anything more. Where did that leave him, but to go? 

He twisted around to find the crumbling path to the Uchiha District looming before him. “Tell him not to follow me.”

Sakura sighed, long and heavy. “He listens to me about as much as you do, Sasuke.”

“Tell him anyway.” 

And then he was gone.

Chapter Text

When Sakura found him late in the afternoon the next day, it was in the middle of ruins. 

“Naruto?” she called, concern sharpening her voice as she noticed the half ajar front door. He didn’t answer. He’d shut Kurama out—shut everything out. Naruto didn’t think he’d ever been this angry, not once, except that time at Orochimaru. But this was worse, because he was angry at Sasuke. Naruto couldn’t think of anything he hated more than being angry at Sasuke. 

There was a scraping and then a thudding sound as Sakura slammed the door open with her shoulder into the door to find Naruto with his back against the living room wall, sitting amongst the remains of his apartment. Her pink hair swung as she whipped her head around after gaping at the coffee table that had been wedged behind the door. 

“You dummy,” she chastised, but there was no real irritation in her voice. “You’ve destroyed your apartment.” 

He had. 

He couldn’t even really remember how—maybe his chakra had wadded up and exploded, maybe he’d made a thousand clones who treated the apartment like a rage room—it was a blur buried beneath the actual fucking rage that clouded his mind. Fucking Sasuke. He’d had about two hours of blissful nothing after Kurama had broken through his defenses and knocked him out cold after he’d taken to the windows. All he could remember was glass and the thought of, He can’t come crawling back if there’s nothing left. 

“Sakura,” he said tiredly, staring at the shattered television crumpled up in the middle of the living room. That had definitely been a clone. When he’d made them, he didn’t know. “Why does he always leave?” 

I don’t mind, he’d said. Naruto had heard him as clear as day. Not if it’s you.

Naruto hadn’t chased him. He’d been numb with disbelief and anger, so much anger, stilled by the agonizing beat of his shattered heart. Naruto wouldn’t chase him. Because if he had, he wasn’t sure what he’d do when he got there. Kill him or kiss him. Maybe both. 

He drew his legs into his chest, arms curling around himself tightly as he stared at the home he’d so painstakingly made for the two of them. He could admit that now. That everywhere he went, everything he did, he always had Sasuke in mind. His mind was broken, one half screaming, I love him, and the other wild with, He left. 

This home was failure. Naruto was a failure. Not enough, again. Never enough to make him stay. He felt like Sasuke had taken his katana and split Naruto open from sternum to navel, and left him to bleed and die in this apartment alone. Gods, if Kurama could hear him right now he’d call him a sniveling brat.

Sakura glanced around, her boots crackling on the shards of glass. “He told me it was for you. That he doesn’t want to get in the way of you becoming Hokage.”

A startled, jagged sound snapped out of Naruto. “Ha. Of course.” 

Sakura was silent. Naruto didn’t even have it in himself to be embarrassed. He didn’t give a shit anymore. So what if she knew he loved Sasuke? Didn’t she already? Didn’t everyone? A rising sense of hysteria thrashed in his throat and bubbled out into a rough, coughing laughter as tears welled in the corners of his eyes. He buried his head in his arms, laughing to himself as he cried. Maybe he really would never understand Sasuke, because how had that godsdamn fucking bastard gotten that idea in his head? Did he not know that Naruto would rather have him than any of it—no. Another broken laugh. 

He knew. That’s what made it worse. He knew. And he’d still run. Why? Fucking why? 

Is it Konoha you don’t want, Sasuke? Naruto thought wretchedly, or me? 

“Naruto.” Sakura was crouching beside him, her hand warm on his shoulder. How many times had she picked the pieces of him up off the floor? How many times had it been because of Sasuke? “Come on. You can’t sit here all night. You can stay at mine.”

There was nothing Naruto hated more than being angry at Sasuke, because it hurt. It hurt in a way that nothing else ever did. “Yeah,” he agreed flatly, taking her other hand to stand up, “let’s go. I don’t ever want to see this place again.”

After a long shower filled with more hot, shame filled tears, Naruto found himself swaddled in blankets on Sakura’s couch with a mug of steaming tea in his hands. She’d even put two spoonfuls of honey in it, even though she usually never entertained his sweet tooth. 

She was sitting beside him now, legs folded up underneath her as she sipped her own tea. The steam had flushed her pale cheeks, making her turquoise eyes even brighter than usual. She really was so pretty. Naruto was lucky that he’d ended up with her on his team. So lucky. Who else would have understood, or had the patience to watch him fail and fail again, running after a boy who wanted nothing to do with either of them? 

“Sakura,” he began, “thank you. I’m lucky to have you as a friend. You always have my back.” 

Her fingers tightened around her mug as she stared at him, the corners of her eyes misting. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Naruto said quickly. “Please, don’t cry.”

She laughed but it was watery, and kicked at him playfully. “It’s the good kind, don't worry. I’m lucky to be your friend too. I’m sorry I haven’t said it before.” Sakura grew quiet for a moment, before saying, “You always manage to surprise me. I never expected you to be the most heartfelt out of all of us. You beat me to saying the sappy stuff every time.” 

“Heh,” Naruto smiled. It felt weak. “Yeah, you know me. Can’t shut me up.”

Sakura smiled back at him. Her apartment was cozy, mint themed with accents of pink and yellow everywhere. There was the faint smell of something sweet, like a candle or a baked treat, hovering in the air that was soothing. 

“Don’t go after him,” she finally said, breaking the silence and startling Naruto with her seriousness.

“If he wants to be miserable all alone, thinking that he’s doing you a favor by not letting you love him, then let him. You can’t fix him, Naruto. You are worth so much more than a life of guessing whether or not you mean something to him. You could find someone else.” Her eyes were no longer misting, but full of tears as she took a hold of his free hand and clutched it tightly. “You are so easy to love, Naruto. Don’t waste your whole life chasing a ghost.”

Naruto wasn’t surprised by the fact that she knew. In all honesty, they had been at odds about Sasuke ever since she’d accepted the mission to kill him. He’d known the difference in their love for Sasuke then, and he suspected that she had too. Or at least a part of her had. But, the life she wanted for him, he…couldn’t even imagine it. Or, he could, but the life he saw there was dark. Bleak. A life where he forever regretted giving up on the only person who had ever truly seen him. And maybe Sasuke was a ghost, maybe he didn’t know how to love anymore, but Naruto knew better. He’d been real, warm and smoky and firm to the touch. And Sasuke loved harder than anyone. He just no longer knew what it meant for someone to love him back. 

“I have to know, Sakura.” I have to know if he loves me the way I love him. If he’ll let me love him like this. “If I don’t confront him, and I go find someone else and he and I sweep this under the rug like he wants—I—they will never be Sasuke. I don’t want that. I don’t want to always feel like I’m waiting for something more.” 

Sakura sighed at his answer, letting go of his hand. Her eyes fell away to a spot on the couch between them before she smiled to herself and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I understand,” she said softly, “it took me longer than I would have liked, but I understand. You and Sasuke—you have only ever been able to look at each other. Just be careful going after him, yeah? I want you back in one piece this time.”

Naruto’s mouth twisted bitterly as he remembered his own words during the Tears of the Sky festival. I’ve never really been able to look at anything besides you, anyways.

“I’ll be careful, but, Sakura?”

Her eyes trained on his and her features grew cold as she took in his expression. 

“This is the last time.”

In the end, he didn’t even ask Kakashi for permission. He just went. It was the second week since Sasuke had left, after he’d intercepted one of Sasuke’s hawks to the Kage. The time had given him enough opportunity to prepare; he’d sold the apartment, bought the necessary things, and packed a bag. It would be a few days on the road—Sasuke had taken up residence in a small mountain town in the east to help an ailing farmer with his workload.

Naruto didn’t treat it like he did before. Sometimes he walked. Sometimes he ran. He wasn’t doing this for Sasuke, even though remembering that just pissed him off all over again. He needed to know for himself. And if Sasuke was too cowardly to tell him first, then he would make him. 

At the end of the first day, he made camp and sat to stare at the stars, wondering what his life would have been like if he’d just been placed on another team. Naruto scoffed at himself. Like it would have made a difference. He was fairly sure he would have found a way to insert himself into Sasuke’s life regardless. 

It took four additional days, though Naruto was fairly sure he could have made the journey in two. He stopped in three different towns, each time because he wanted to try ramen and dammit, if he didn’t deserve the ramen after chasing Sasuke’s ass all the way out here. For the hundreth fucking time. 

“Prick,” he muttered under his breath as he came to a stop at a large outcropping. The mountain had been the last leg of his trek and now that he was nearing the farm, all of his anger was coming rushing back. Gods, he didn’t even know if he wanted to see the bastard. Well, he did. He just also wanted to send him sprawling down the mountainside. 

He traced Sasuke’s chakra to a cottage overlooking the mountain valley, where most of the farm land sprawled beneath the peaks, the freshly planted crops churned in dark rows of soil. The town itself was tiny, maybe twenty houses at most, dotting the mountainside in a sporadic amber glow of fires within. Night had just fallen, blanketing the mountains in a cloudless coat of stars. To the west, Naruto could see the expanse of the world—rivers shining with the Moon’s reflection, forests reaching as far as he could see. To the east was the ocean, a small grove of young trees, and the cottage Sasuke was staying in. There were wildflowers already in bloom surrounding the cottage, the bright petals sprinkled down the eastern bluffs and waving in the cool breeze. And there, leaned against the crumbling, pale blue porch post, was Sasuke. 

Naruto came to a stop a few feet from the stairs and for a minute, they said nothing. Sasuke was in all black, cloak abandoned in the cottage, standing in a shaft of moonlight that transformed his skin from ivory to silver, or something more holy. His face was stoic, cold and cryptic in that beautiful way of his. 

“You weren’t supposed to come after me.”

Without hesitating, Naruto cut back, “Yeah, well, you weren’t supposed to leave.” 

Sasuke pushed off the post gracefully, perfect and apathetic as ever, dark hair rippling like sheets of midnight around his face as he drawled, “Is that what this is about?”

Naruto’s jaw clenched before he could stop it. He hated that. He hated when Sasuke acted like nothing mattered to him. Naruto knew it did. He’d always seen right through his bullshit.  “Stop dodging this conversation, Sasuke. It’s been long enough, don’t you think?” 

“You want to talk about it?”

So, this was going to be a fight. Naruto half laughed, cracking a knowing grin at Sasuke as a shot of adrenaline ran through him. “Hell yeah, I do.”

Sasuke’s chakra ignited, the air popping with static as he sauntered towards Naruto. Naruto couldn’t stop the hitch in his breath—the spike of anticipation, the wave of awe at this arrogant, powerful person. He really fucking loved him.

The thought just made him angry. It was like having someone smack a gong in your head and rattle everything out—Sasuke was just that beautiful. Mesmerizing. Just the sight of him made Naruto forget what he was angry about, made him wish he could invade his space and find ways to make him a little less cold. But not this time. He’d left. Without saying goodbye, without saying anything. Again.

With a voice like ice, Sasuke said, “Fine.” 

Like a snake, he was suddenly in Naturo’s space, snatching his prosthetic hand and holding it up between them like the accusation it was. “We’ll talk about it. Where do you want to start first, Naruto? How you’re still so desperate for attention that you’ll do anything for the people that condemned us both when we were no more than children? They give you praise and recognition and an arm, the one I took, and suddenly everything is fine? Have you forgotten that they don’t know your heart?” 

Sasuke laughed when Naruto ripped his arm out of his hand. “Or maybe you haven’t forgotten. That’s fine, Naruto. You can forgive everyone that turned a blind eye to your suffering—you can start a family with one of them for all I care. But I will not,” Sasuke said through gritted teeth. “I will not become complacent in what I once sought to destroy. I cannot sit in Konoha, day after day, knowing what it has taken from us.” 

“Well, I can’t chase you anymore!” Naruto burst, his rage rising up in him like a wave. He already knew all of that. That wasn’t what this was about. Sasuke could hate Konoha forever, and Naruto would understand. It wasn’t about Konoha. It was about them. Sasuke couldn’t even get a word in before he was saying, the words spilling out of him, “I can’t, Sasuke. I brought you back. I did what I promised and I’m trying so fucking hard to make Konoha somewhere you won’t hate, but to do that I have to be there, so I can’t chase you anymore. And it hurts when you leave. Can’t you see that?” 

Sasuke withdrew a few inches to look at Naruto, but there was no emotion, nothing in his eyes when he said, “Then don’t.”

Naruto stared at him, and then swung.

His fist collided with Sasuke’s arm as he blocked the punch. Naruto whirled to avoid a kick to his ribs, and then they were at it. He wove in and out of Sasuke’s attacks, reaching for any weakness, every weakness, and being met blow for blow, until Sasuke overextended himself a fraction on a sweeping kick. Naruto caught his foot with his own and the second he made contact, he was reaching down, ducking below a punch to grab Sasuke’s foot and wrench him sideways. He went flying, shooting across the clearing and straight through two trees. Naruto didn’t waste a second, closing in to find the Magenko and the Rinnegan shining scarlet and lavender back at him from the shadows of the grove.

Then don’t. 

Godsfucking damn him. Naruto activated his sage mode, fists flexing at his side, and plunged into the grove. He threaded through the trees, passing through intricate and endless genjutsus, and was in front of Sasuke in less than two minutes. Sasuke stepped to the side just as he broke through, cracking a knee up into Naruto’s undefended ribs that sent him backwards.

He blocked an offensive kick and yelled, “Do you ever even think about me? Have you ever once considered what I want? Why is it always all or nothing with you?”

Sasuke caught him in the thigh with a nasty kick, his eyes narrowing viciously at the questions. Naruto sent him through another tree. 

When Sasuke came up, he was seething. His chakra cracked like lightning, purple and deadly, along his skin. “It’s all I ever think about,” he snarled viciously. “Why the fuck else would I have ever come back to Konoha, Naruto? I came back because you showed me that our bond was worth living for. You know what I see in that village. You’re the only one that knows.”

“I get it,” Naruto agreed, sweat trickling down the sides of his face. “I know. It’s not about why you leave, Sasuke, you know it’s not about that. It’s about how you leave. Like it’s about me. Like you don’t give a shit whether or not it hurts. You think you know what’s best for me, even when I’m telling you it is not.”

“It’s never about you!” Sasuke shouted, aiming a roundhouse kick at Naruto’s face. He blocked it, only to spin rapidly away from the flash of a kunai. “Why can’t you understand that? I have no place in Konoha. It will never be my home. Or did you come here to tell me that it is my home, because you’re there? Because we’re friends?” 

“I don’t know what you’re going on about—”

“Don’t you?” came Sasuke’s scathing reply, his eyes glittering as he cut through three clones without so much as blinking, lunging for Naruto again.

“Maybe I do,” Naruto said dangerously, glaring right back as he took a nasty right hook to the ribs before slamming his elbow into Sasuke’s weaker side. “Do you?”

Sasuke looked lost for a moment as he backed away, hand clutching briefly at his side. His mouth parted slightly before his brow furrowed, and he snapped, “Obviously, you idiot.”

“Don’t do that,” Naruto was going to punch him right in his pretty face. He went for it, barely escaping a spiked Chidori, knuckles glancing off the side of Sasuke’s cheekbone. “Don’t call me names like you’re not the one who ran away. When you keep running away from this conversation. Even right now, you’re trying to make it about something that it’s not.”

“Then tell me,” Sasuke mocked, snatching Naruto’s second punch out of midair and twisting it away. “Tell me what this is really about.”

Naruto sized him up as they stood off in the middle of the woods, waiting for the other to make a move. Okay, then. If Sasuke wanted it like that, he could have it. 

“I’m your one and only and you don’t know how to deal with it. You don’t want me to be Hokage, but you want me to have my dreams. You hate Konoha and everything it stands for, except me.”

Sasuke stiffened. Naruto kept going.

“You were jealous of Hinat—” 

“Shut. Up.”

Naruto didn’t. “Instead of telling me, you ran away. And then, I came and found you and told you how I felt, and you ran away again. I’m betting ‘cause you were scared—”

“If you don’t stop talking right now—”

“—becuase you don’t know how to deal with the fact that you’re my one and only,” Naruto finished, flashing a defiant glare at the ninja in front of him. Let him try and deny it. Let them fight the truth, until they were blue and black and crimson, until there was nothing left but the fact they loved each other. Naruto would risk it all rather than never know. Rather than never try. They would regret letting each other go. It wasn’t a matter of whether they could or should—it was that Naruto knew that where he belonged was at Sasuke’s side. Not metaphorically, or any of that brother reincarnated bullshit. He wanted all of his smiles. Every second of his laughter. To see him upset, to hold him, to wake up in the middle of the night and have him still be there.

In a blink, Sasuke was in front of him, forearm slamming into his chest and throwing him to the ground as he roared, “Will you just shut up for a second?”

The breath went out of him, his head thudding against the dirt as Sasuke pinned him. Vision spinning, Naruto precariously dodged a knee to the thigh as he continued, egging him on, “Isn’t that it? You can’t stand the fact that you're my one and only but I’m also going to be Hokage?”

“I don’t care,” Sasuke said viciously, his Sharingan spinning madly. Naruto reached up and seized a fistful of Sasuke’s collar, ready to act if he sucked him into a genjutsu. 

“I don’t care,” he repeated, his chest heaving as he glared at Naruto, as if daring him to challenge what he’d said. 

The ache that rose up in Naruto was as familiar to him as the boy in front of him; heavy and sore. Wanting. How long had he felt this and thought that he had simply missed his friend? He knew better now. His grip on Sasuke’s collar tightened, and Naruto could not bring himself to let go. He didn’t care? Like hell he didn’t.

“Fuck you,” Naruto snapped, and yanked Sasuke down, moving his head to the side so that Sasuke’s face cracked into the earth. He shoved the other boy off of him, smarting as Sasuke flopped down beside him. For a long moment, there was no sound other than their rasping breaths as they gazed up at the dark shadows of the treetops blotting out the starry sky. 

Why was he so determined to push him away? Naruto couldn’t even look at him, he was so mad. Why the fuck had he even come out here? Pissed off and tired, Naruto grumbled, “I told you I’d beat you bloody if you ran again.”

Beside him, Sasuke broke out into a choked laughter. 

Naruto rolled onto his ride to stare at him incredulously. 

“What?” he demanded irritably, waiting for whatever nonsense Sasuke was about to spew and hating that even with a swollen cheekbone and blood running down his nose and over his teeth, Sasuke was still the most stunning thing he’d ever seen. Evil bastard. Stupid-ugly-asshole-jerk-face.

“I—” Sasuke stopped laughing, and real fear and panic flitted across the Mangekyo when he saw how intently Naruto was watching him. Without thinking, Naruto reached, grabbing a handful of Sasuke’s shirt, and yanked him forward. Maybe it was because he instinctively knew that this was his chance, this was the most vulnerable he’d see Sasuke because the moments after breaking their bodies were some of the only times the other boy could ever truly be honest with Naruto.

Sasuke caught himself against Naruto’s shoulder, their foreheads knocking together as he stared back at Naruto. Their breaths mixed in the cool air. 

Say it. Say something. Kiss me. Anything other than telling me you don't care.

Naruto’s heart contracted so tightly in his chest that he thought it might burst when Sasuke’s voice came again, lowered into a whisper, a confession. 

“I don’t care that you want to be Hokage, Naruto. That dream has made you who you are and there is not an inch of you that I would change. I am here because you are capable of forgiveness even when it is undeserving. And Konoha doesn’t. They don’t deserve you, but you deserve your dream. I just—I don’t know how to do this when you will always have to love Konoha more.”

Than me. 

The unsaid words echoed between them so loudly that Sasuke pulled back abruptly, his red and purple eyes shining fervently as he searched Naruto’s face. His grip on Naruto’s shoulder was painful, his knuckles turning white with strain. 

Naruto couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t even move. 

There was the faintest hint of desperation in Sasuke’s voice when he asked, “Would you change me?”

The words cracked into Naruto like a hammer. His ribs felt shattered, his lungs seized. Didn’t Sasuke know the answer to that? Wasn’t it written all over his face? Hadn’t he screamed his answer at the top of every rooftop, across every lifetime? 

“No.” 

He felt something hot and wet run down his face as he stared at Sasuke. Sasuke, who knew Naruto would give up his dream for him and yet had left so that he could have it. His hair was mussed from their fight, blue-black locks sticking up in strange directions. At Naruto’s answer, his Sharingan softened into that warm, endless, obsidian; the Rinnegan so stark and yet lovely among the ivory of his skin. Otherworldly. Breath taking. Deadly. Kind.

 There is not an inch of you that I would change. I don’t know how to do this when you will always have to love Konoha more.

He was just a bit misguided in how to show his love.

“Naruto?” Sasuke said his name worriedly, his arm coming off of Naruto’s chest to touch his cool fingertips against his cheek. So hesitantly. So gently. If only everyone knew this side of Sasuke, the same version of him that had held Naruto in his lap the day Haku nearly killed them both. Sasuke never let himself have anything. Not peace, not love. Not even rest when he so desperately needed it. Well, then. Naruto didn’t care either. 

“Sasuke,” he said, “I’m never going to love Konoha more than you.”