Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been a few weeks since I started training at the ShinRa Electric Power Company. So far, we had learned the basics of combat theory, invasion tactics, capturing techniques, and everything else a SOLDIER needed to know for their daily duties.

The instructor—which made everyone especially proud—was none other than the feared General and war hero himself: Sephiroth.

I had heard a lot about him from my friend Zack, who seemed to be something like Sephiroth's right-hand man.

Not only from Zack but also on TV and from pretty much everyone at SOLDIER.

As for me, I didn’t want to form my opinion based on others' words. I wanted to see him for myself.

Now, after a few weeks, I understood why Sephiroth was so popular.

He was formidable and authoritative—but in an unexpectedly positive way. He treated new recruits with respect, was "friendlier" than expected, and made his lessons genuinely engaging.

I found that surprising because I had definitely heard stories of him being a ruthless monster—or so the old housewives in my village claimed.

Even knowing those rumors, I chose to follow the same path by joining SOLDIER.

Besides... I had observed through Zack that Sephiroth seemed surprisingly easygoing—at least during his free time. Since Zack worked as the General's secretary, he often shared tidbits about Sephiroth's personality. Apparently, Sephiroth could even be affectionate toward those close to him, offering the occasional hug or a teasing, friendly knock on the head when Zack was prodding too much or slacking.

It was a strange image—Sephiroth hugging someone? But Zack had a way of pestering people until they gave in, and Sephiroth was no exception.

Speaking of Zack, we were planning to hang out later today after classes for a drink or two and possibly a movie.

As class ended and the students began packing their things, I grew nervous about what I was about to do.

Having attended several of Sephiroth’s theoretical lessons, it was time to start physical field training.

I felt hesitant. There were three instructors to choose from, but I didn’t know Angeal and had never even seen Genesis—at least not that I remembered. Choosing Sephiroth seemed like the logical path.

I had grown accustomed to his teaching style and genuinely liked it.

I mustered all my courage to approach him.

“Uhm, Sir,” I began, watching Sephiroth turn to face me.

The serious look on his face did nothing to ease my nerves. “About the field training,” I said, gulping. “Do I get to choose my instructor, or is it random?”

The silver-haired man opened his mouth slightly before replying. “No, you can choose. Why do you ask?”

I fidgeted with my hands. “Well, I was thinking of choosing you because I know you best out of the three instructors, and I like your teaching methods. I can’t really say the same about the others since I don’t know them...”

“Hm,” Sephiroth said as he stood up from his seat and stepped closer to me.

“You have to know, my schedule is extremely packed right now, with exams coming up. We’ve been overrun with recruits this year, so things are pretty tight...”

My eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t mind at all!” I paused, as if to collect all my bravery. "... I’d really like you as my field training instructor!”

I stopped abruptly, worried that my sudden outburst might have put him off.

What happened next caught me completely off guard, however.

I felt a warm hand on my upper arm, slowly sliding down to my elbow, as Sephiroth’s silky voice spoke softly, “You didn't let me finish. What I'm saying is... Of course, you can train with me, too.”

He smiled—at least it was more of a smile than I had ever seen from him during classes.

It took me a moment to process what he’d just said. Then, as the warmth of his touch faded, my own mouth broke into a grin. “Really? That’s great! Thank you!”

Sephiroth turned back to check my schedule. After flipping through a few pages, he spoke again. “How does next Thursday at 2 p.m. sound?”

“Sounds perfect!” I exclaimed, my excitement clear in my voice.

"Alright. I'll see you in class on Monday, then." He waved me goodbye, his neutral expression back in place, and left the room through the teacher's exit.

I headed out the other way, a huge smile plastered on my face. Not only had I gotten the instructor I wanted, but I could still feel a faint tingling on my right arm where the General had touched me just moments ago.

It was such a small gesture—one of reassurance—but the deliberate, almost gentle way he had done it gave me butterflies in my stomach.

“Woah, what am I thinking...” I whispered to myself. “I can't start feeling that way for that man. Not over something so simple.”

“Huh? What'd you say?” A familiar voice called from behind me.

I jumped. “Ahh, Zack! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Don’t ‘ahh’ me. Weren’t we supposed to meet after your class? Did you forget already?”

My eyes widened. “Sorry! No, I didn’t forget. Or, actually, I did... but that’s because Seph—”

“Because Seph what? Huh? Tell me, tell me!” Zack nudged my side playfully, a wide grin on his face.

“Ahh, calm down, it’s nothing special. He said he’d be my field training instructor. That’s all.” I ran a hand through my hair, rolling my eyes. 'At least he didn’t hear the second part of what I mumbled to myself...'

“Really? I thought his schedule was too packed to take on new trainees. You must have gotten lucky.” Zack nudged my shoulder, forcing me to look at him, then winked. “People don’t call him the best for nothing.”

I rubbed my shoulder. “Nah, he told us Angeal, Genesis, and he are all equally good trainers. I just picked him because I don’t know the other two. I’ve only seen Angeal like twice, and Genesis... never.”

“Yeah, they’re solid too, but since everyone goes all googly-eyed over the General... I’m surprised he made room for you.”

I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. I was really looking forward to real training in the field—with swords, Materia, and actual enemies instead of just talking about them.

The two of us made our way to ShinRa’s pub, where Zack explained some sword techniques to me and even decided to lend me one of his own broadswords to train with. I thanked him before heading back to my dorm alone.

Chapter Text

Monday's lesson came quickly, but this time, it felt different.

I had moved two rows forward—to the second row from the front. It was as if something inside me had clicked after Sephiroth’s silken touch at the end of the last lesson. I chalked it up to simply not having been touched in that way for months—maybe even longer.

Whatever the reason, that click gave me the urge to pay closer attention to the General during class.

Before, I never would have noticed the sharp precision of his eyebrows, the silky softness of his hair, or the subtle curve of his lips. But today, instead of fully absorbing his lecture on the Meteor Materia and how he’d wielded it during the Wutai War, I found myself distracted—fixated on the way those lips moved, on the glimpses of his chest exposed by his uniform.

I shook the thoughts from my head. 'What are you doing, Cloud? Stop checking out your instructor... I won’t think of him that way.'

It took a considerable effort to refocus on the lesson, but once I did, the remaining time flew by.

When class ended, as everyone packed up, I glanced toward the whiteboard only to notice Sephiroth approaching me, a small piece of paper in hand.

“Here. I forgot to give you this last time. It’s a reminder about our field training.”

I took the paper and read it. *Thursday, 2 PM. Sephiroth.*

'As if I’d forget that...' I thought but thanked him nonetheless.

“By the way,” he added, “you registered your cellphone number during the entry period, didn’t you? I might need it to contact you if a mission comes up spontaneously, so you won’t waste your time going all the way to the training center in the mountains.”

I shook my head. “No, I just got a new phone. Want me to call you now so you’ll have it?”

It only hit me afterward whom I was speaking to. The General himself... Though it wasn’t like we’d be texting each other casually.

“Sure,” he replied, jotting down his number.

I fumbled with my phone, feeling clumsy under his watchful gaze, but eventually saved his number and gave him a quick call to confirm it.

“Okay, got it. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Unless you have questions about Thursday?” He slipped his phone back into his coat and began fastening his black cloak.

“Uhmm...” My mind raced as I tried to think of something intelligent to ask. I knew I had plenty of questions, but my brain was stuck on a loop of 'You have Sephiroth’s number!' Shaking myself out of it, I quickly blurted, “Do I need to bring special armor, or just use my Third-Class uniform?”

Sephiroth turned his gaze toward me slowly, and for a moment, I was entranced by the faint, blue-green glow of his eyes.

“For now, your uniform will suffice,” he said. “After your Second-Class exam, you’ll be issued additional armor for real missions with enemies who will try to kill you. But don’t worry; I’ll make sure you’re well-prepared.” He smirked, and I couldn’t help but return it with a nod.

“As for weapons, you’ll start with training swords for the first few lessons. After that, you’ll choose your own weapon—katana, broadsword, spear, or whatever suits you best.”

I nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve got one from Zack, so please let me know when I can use it. Anyway, I’ll head to the dorms now. See you tomorrow!”

He gave a brief nod and mumbled, “Get there safely,” as I cheerfully bolted out the door.

Wednesday arrived with a groggy start—I’d overslept.

'Woah, I hope that doesn’t happen tomorrow... Though even I should manage to wake up by 1 PM.'

I rolled over to check for my roommate, Kunsel, but his side of the room was empty; door open. “Probably off seeing LOVELESS again...” I muttered, dragging myself up to study for the rest of the day.

“Materia and Magic... Ugh, this is boring. I can’t wait to wield my sword tomorrow. It’s been way too long.”

I glanced at the broadsword Zack had given me. It was wider, longer, and probably heavier than the standard SOLDIER weapons. But Zack, knowing me well, had picked something perfect for his “Spike.” We’d trained together enough times for him to know my style.

After snapping the Materia book shut, I decided to call it an early night at 10 PM to ensure I’d wake up on time.

Thursday’s class passed uneventfully until the end.

“So, who’s up for pizza after class? I’ll order twenty—let’s say twenty-five,” Sephiroth announced, casually grabbing his phone.

The room erupted in cheers, the usually serious classroom now brimming with excitement. I blinked in disbelief. Pizza? From him? It felt a bit surreal as I didn’t see the special occasion, but I wasn’t about to complain and joined in with the cheering.

“Seph sure is a cool guy!” someone near me remarked. I couldn’t help but agree, though the casual nickname threw me off. 'Seph?' It seemed out of place for someone like him, but hearing it made my stomach flutter. Maybe one day I could call him that too...

While we waited for the delivery, the training room began to shift. Without realizing how or when, a plush, bed-like sofa appeared in the middle of the room, though the other students ignored it. When I looked back around, Zack and Sephiroth were already lounging on it, their ease with one another sparking a pang of jealousy in my chest.

Sephiroth leaned back, one arm draped casually around Zack’s waist as they talked in low, comfortable tones. My heart sank at their closeness, a bitter ache twisting inside me. Unable to hold back, I strode over and boldly plopped down beside Sephiroth, positioning myself on his right.

Only then did I notice how his hand rested lightly on Zack’s hip. The jealousy flared hotter, but I fought to keep my expression neutral. Determined not to be left out, I slid closer—just enough for my thigh to brush against his.

For a moment, Sephiroth didn’t react, but then, as if sensing my silent plea, his arm shifted. Slowly, he wrapped it around my shoulders, his hand resting on my upper arm. My pulse quickened at the contact, a giddy warmth blooming in my chest.

The two continued their conversation, their voices a low hum I couldn’t focus on.

My gaze flicked to Sephiroth’s hand on Zack, then back to my own shoulders, and an irrational surge of boldness overtook me. Leaning over Sephiroth, I tried to wedge myself further between them, my heart pounding louder than ever.

Without warning, a firm hand cupped my chin, halting my movement. I froze as the other arm pulled me closer, pressing me against Sephiroth’s side. When I looked up, I found myself caught in the glow of his eyes—intense, otherworldly, and utterly captivating.

The vivid green light shimmered like liquid fire, drawing me in and making the world around us blur into nothingness. My breathing hitched, and my eyelids felt heavy as his face inched closer to mine. I couldn’t think, couldn’t move—just watched, mesmerized, as he closed the distance.

Warm lips pressed against my own, and a hand slid up into my hair. For a moment, I froze, unsure how to respond, until...

Chapter Text

Without warning, a firm hand cupped my chin, halting my movement. I froze as another arm pulled me closer, pressing me against Sephiroth’s side. When I looked up, I found myself caught in the glow of his eyes—intense, otherworldly, and utterly captivating.

The vivid green light shimmered like liquid fire, drawing me in and making the world around us blur into nothingness. My breathing hitched, and my eyelids felt heavy as his face inched closer to mine. I couldn’t think, couldn’t move—just watched, mesmerized, as he closed the distance.

Warm lips pressed against my own, and a hand slid up into my hair. For a moment, I froze, unsure how to respond, until...

...I jolted upright in bed, gasping for air.

"What the hell was that about?" I muttered, still catching my breath. My body felt uncomfortably warm, and when I glanced down, my face flushed deeper. "Ugh... time for a cold shower," I grumbled, throwing off the covers.

In the bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My cheeks were still red, and my hair was sticking up even more than usual. "Not good," I muttered. I closed my eyes for a second, but Sephiroth’s glowing gaze immediately reappeared behind my eyelids. Snapping them open again, I groaned. "Definitely not good."

I turned the water as cold as I could stand, hoping to wash the dream—and the heat it brought—off me. "I can’t let that happen. I can’t fall for him," I told myself firmly.

Still, two of my fingers rose to my lips, almost without permission. I touched them gently, replaying the sensation from the dream. "That’s how it felt... warm... soft..."

The memory alone sent another wave of heat through me, and I shoved my face under the icy spray. "No, no! Bad Cloud! Stop that!" I shook my head, trying to banish the thought. Instead, I focused on finishing my shower quickly, avoiding any more distractions.

"I’ve got training in a few hours," I reminded myself aloud. "No time to get caught up in... whatever that was. Besides, it wasn’t real."

A small pang of disappointment rippled through me at the thought. I quickly squashed it, redirecting my focus to something more productive: field training. Passing the semester’s final exam would bump me up to Second Class. The missions I’d get after that would be tougher, sure, but also way more exciting.

Once out of the shower, I toweled my hair as dry as I could, threw on my uniform, and headed to the cafeteria.

The dining hall was bustling as usual, but it didn’t take me long to spot Zack. His unmistakable black spikes were visible even over the crowd. He was at his usual table, laughing with someone I didn’t recognize.

"Zack!" I called, weaving my way through the rows of tables.

He turned at the sound of my voice and waved, his grin as wide as ever. "Hey!"

I plopped my tray down beside him and slid into the seat.

"So, how’s training going? When’s your test?" Zack asked, still smiling.

I couldn’t hold back my own grin. "I’ve got my first field training today at two. As for the test... I still have a few books to finish."

"Oh yeah! You mentioned that!" Zack’s eyes lit up, and he leaned forward. "Field training with the great Sephiroth himself!" He deepened his voice dramatically, planting one foot on the bench like he was about to deliver a royal decree. "Behold, the mighty King Sephiroth!"

"Zack!" I hissed, waving my hands frantically. "People are staring!"

Sure enough, a few heads had turned in our direction. Most of them rolled their eyes or smirked knowingly before returning to their meals. Zack was infamous enough that his antics weren’t a surprise to anyone.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, dropping back into his seat with a chuckle. "But you’ve been so excited about this! I couldn’t help myself."

Before I could respond, Zack’s phone buzzed on the table. He picked it up, flipping it open with a casual, "Speaking of Seph..."

I watched him type out a reply, his fingers flying across the keypad. After a minute of silent curiosity, I couldn’t resist leaning over to peek at the screen. My eyes landed on the closing line of his text: "See you later, darling :*"

My brain stalled. "Uhm..."

Zack saw that I was looking and started grinning.

"Isn't he gonna kill you for that?" I drew my eyebrows together, looking slightly puzzled but worried at the same time.

The older SOLDIER started laughing, which didn't exactly help.

"Nah, he's really chill. I write stuff like that all the time. He always ignores it, obviously, but it's kinda fun. You should try too sometime." He winked at me, earning a wide eyed look from me.

"What!... I don't even really know him..." I tried to remember what I actually did know about him. Other than the obvious. I knew he was a good instructor, being strict but respectful and friendly at the same time. Not the Zack or Kunsel kind of friendly, but he was not a jerk. From outside ShinRa, on TV, he had always seemed cold and like a professional—which he was, but not in as much of an untouchable way as portrayed. Even despite regularly bathing in praise for being a hero, it definitely hadn't turned him arrogant. Yet, he still seemed like someone to approach carefully...

Zack took a sip out of his iced tea. "Oh yeah, you aren't that close to him... yet!" He grinned and threw the empty cup into the trash 10 meters away with an eagle's precision.

"... Don't think that field training is gonna get me so close to him," I mumbled, looking down in hopes not to blush.

"Aw, but you have his phone number, don't you? I think all his field training students do."

He placed an arm over my shoulder which I tried to shake off. "Yeah, but it'd look weird as hell if I asked him about himself... Or sent him kiss-faces..." I sneered sideways in his direction, and Zack laughed again.

"True that. Well, maybe I can tell you a little something later tonight at my apartment. But you're gonna have to report everything about your FT!"

"FT?" I asked.

"Field training. We're lazy here at SOLDIER, too, you know? But don't tell Seph I told you that." The raven-haired man laughed, getting up.

I chuckled "Sure".

"So, about that phone number of yours? Thought you didn't have a new cell yet?" He stopped me at the door.

"Just got it a few days ago."

After exchanging numbers, I waved him my goodbye and left to spend the last hour before my FT studying.

I was half expecting to get annoying SMS from Zack but none came. “Maybe I gave him my old number...”

As the time passed, I got more and more nervous. Now I remembered my dream as well... and honestly hoped, for my dignity and that of my pants', it wouldn't happen during the training.

Thankfully, ShinRa offered pretty baggy pants where nothing unnecessarily stood out to cause weird situations.

Not wanting to think about that anymore, I dug into my books for the last 40 minutes before heading out into the mountains.

I wasn't really sure where the center was yet, but I had left enough time to find out, 30 minutes to be exact. Since a bus owned by the company drove up there, I was at least not forced to waste time walking all the way and back each time.

When we arrived at the bus stop "Field Training Center", my question about the whereabouts was cleared as well.

Once I was inside, I passed a man at the counter my ID, and went on.

There were a few different rooms, one looking like a gym which was filled with SOLDIERS that were training on their own or with a partner, seemingly 2nd class—judging by their uniform.

One room further was built like a city with wrecked cars, buildings, and lots of possibilities to hide—probably for gun training.

The third room lead to the outside of the Center and to the mountain, some 1st class SOLDIERS were waiting for their instructor.

Arriving at the last room which resembled a mountainy landscape with dirt and stones on the floor, I spotted Sephiroth inside. Looking at the time, I saw that I was still 10 minutes early.

He had already seen me coming and was getting up, walking towards some kind of locker.

"Hey", he greeted me.

"M-morning." A sudden pang of nervousness hit me. 'Get your shit together, Cloud...'

A small smirk. "Morning? It's almost two, though..." He muttered the second part of the sentence and I scratched the back of my neck.

"No need to be nervous. During the first field training, most you will do is watch me. I'll be showing you some battle poses and basic techniques, which you will get to repeat later on."

I swallowed and nodded precariously.

My instructor moved to the sword stand where he had apparently placed his Masamune.

He took it out of its sheath with the gracefulness of honey, I was watching him in awe already—even though the field training hadn't even started yet.

After he had settled into a good standing position, he started explaining the basics which I already knew about from theory class—just not in practice.

I tried to imitate his position as perfectly as possible and looked into his eyes to search for any sign of approval.

It came in form of a nod and I smiled triumphantly. 'It's something...'

Once Sephiroth had explained me why a good posture was important, he did some kind of flicking of his finger... and a holographic monster appeared: a medium-sized lizard.

As soon as it was spawned, its eyes fixated on Sephiroth and it gave out a snarl, leaping forward.

The General kept standing perfectly still until the monster was at eye level, then he whipped out his legendary Ōdachi and cut the enemy in half.

“You have to keep your stance when an enemy attacks, try to dodge or kill it. If it's very muscular or taller than a meter, I suggest dodging first, as it probably won't die in one hit...”

I watched him summon another, this time very small mammal-like creature. It looked like some kind of rat or bunny, but not very dangerous...

“Never underestimate your enemy, especially not if you're still inexperienced. Now, go ahead and try what I've taught you.”, Sephiroth said and sat down on a bench at the side of the hall.

I nodded and took my posture. When I thought I was ready, I nodded to Sephiroth and he ordered the creature to run towards me.

'Okay, it's small, but I am not experienced and don't have a sword as strong as his... So...'

When the rat-bunny was at eye level, I rose my training sword...

… To block its attack by holding the sword in front of my body. When I felt the weight hit it, I used my wide-legged stance to powerfully push the monster back and send it flying. It hit the wall hard and fainted.

“Ah... So, that was a counter-attack rather than blocking...” I turned my head to find a puzzled Sephiroth who had even gotten up from the bank.

That was the first time I had seen him somewhat speechless and I grinned proudly.

“Not quite what I had imagined, but effective nonetheless... Good job.”, he admitted and sat back down, flicking his finger to summon a bigger monster, the lizard he had killed.

“Well, my idea was to block it, since I'm still a beginner... but then I noticed that I could probably use the force the monster put into the attack against it.” I scratched the back of my neck, feeling flattered, and went back to the fighting stance.

“Yes, that's great, but watch out for heavier enemies, it won't work with all of them. But that's something you have to learn by experience.” He said and I couldn't miss the somewhat proud look he gave me, despite the lecturing speech.

This time I blocked the monster until it fell on its back, where I took my chance and stabbed it in the stomach.

“Always aim for the throat, heart or head. As for small monsters, anything is probably fine, once it's on its back.” Sephiroth told me and continued to teach me about weak spots, dodging, and attacking.

The lesson was over much too soon for my liking, but I gave Sephiroth a big grin when he asked me how it was, and offered me a handshake.

I gladly accepted it and told him that I was eager for the next lesson.

“I'll text you with the time. See you later.” He told me when I left the hall, smiling.

Chapter Text

I arrived at Zack's apartment with a big grin on my face.

After explaining him my first experiences, I was eager to learn more about my instructor.

We were chilling on his sofa and my friend had given me a drink.

"Sooo", he started. "What to tell you... Well, you probably already know the superficial stuff, but... I'm going to tell you how I see him, as his friend."

I didn't notice how I had begun to shift around in my seat. "Tell meee" I nagged, immediately hating that I must be sounding like a little child. 'What is this man doing to me...'

My friend chuckled lightly. "Well. After knowing him for some time, I learned that to a few of us—the ones he's close to—he is absolutely loyal. He's friendly, polite, even has a sense of humor sometimes... It's really fun to message with him, I tell you. In person, he barely makes any jokes, at least not in public."

My eyes widened a little. "Maybe I do have to write him sometime..."

From the corner of my eye I could see Zack nodding enthusiastically.

"He doesn't let many people close to him. Most of the time, he tries to turn people away with his cold or arrogant-seeming attitude... I don't really understand why, but that's his thing." The raven-haired man stretched his arms and pulled me into a hug.

I didn't usually react to these, being used to that from Zack, but the next thing made me blush.

"We do that a lot, too. Just a few hours ago, it wasn't you in my arms, but Seph...", he said flirtingly.

"Whaaaa" I moved backwards, almost falling off the sofa. "Really?" By the look on his face, I could tell that Zack had accomplished whatever he had wanted to by telling me that. He chuckled and helped pulling me up again.

"Yeah. Don't worry, I was just teasing you." His grin stayed wide as he grabbed my beer bottle, having finished his, and took a sip.

I gulped. "... and you are sure that you two aren't...?"

"Hum?" His eyes turned into big puppy dog ones. "Ohhhh!" Then he realized what I meant.

"No, no!", he defended himself. "You know that I like that one girl from the church, she is selling flowers now... and Seph... I don't think he's interested in men. Or romance in general, I don't know... General, ya get it?"

He started repeatedly poking my side with his elbow but I didn't notice or care anymore, as some kind of lightning had struck me just now. My eyelids lowered a little and I slumped down in my seat. 'True... The famous hero of the war wouldn't want to be connected to something like that... Or be called gay, for that matter... I'm nothing but his student as well...'

My mood had really dropped from one second to another but Zack didn't notice until his (my) beer was finished.

"Everything okay, Spike?" He put a hand on my shoulder.

I moved my head up again quickly and tried my best to smile. "Yeah... uhm... what else can you tell me about him?"

No doubt, I was happy that Zack's attention span was as short as it was, so his face already lit up again, as he thought about what else he knew. I was glad that we were able to drop the topic, since I was not exactly eager to mention that I had apparently started liking the General more than the average person.

"Oh, yeah! He is really calm and collected in all dangerous situations, so whenever we go on a mission, I feel safe around him all the time!" He grinned at me. "I don't think that I need to mention how strong he is... but he can control it well."

I nodded, now really looking forward to future training with him. 'Might as well try to make the best of my situation, I should just enjoy having an awesome fighting instructor like that'.

"Okay, I see... That's nice." I mumbled.

My gaze turned outside, it was already getting dark. The sun had set by now but there still was a faint orange in the distance, where it had been. That orange was followed by a yellow which soon turned into blue which got darker and darker, the more my eyes moved up.

"I think that's all for now... It really wasn't that much. It's best you get to know him yourself. When's your next appointment, by the way?"

I turned to look at Zack again. "Uhm... He said he'd SMS me as soon as he knew when he'd have some time."

Casually, my hand moved into my pocket and I noticed that I had left my phone at home.

My friend nodded, he had already started to clean up the rest of our evening snacks and the two beer bottles. 'Wow, he got me so distracted that I forgot about mine...'

We hugged each other goodbye later and I blushed lightly again when I remembered what he had said about Sephiroth having been in his arms before.

The next morning I woke up with a surprise, it was my phone vibrating. "Ahh, Zack..." I mumbled and grabbed it. The time read 6:40, so it was almost time to get up for morning training. Kunsel, my roommate, was still sound asleep in the room next to me.

Grumbling, I grabbed the smartphone and unlocked it. What I saw then made my heart skip a beat. It wasn't Zack... the name read... Sephiroth.

All of sudden, I was wide awake. My fingers clicked his message shakily.

*Tomorrow at 11 AM. Confirm by SMS, please. Greetings, Sephiroth*

A grin spread across my face. That simple message had already made my day better. In a hurry, I typed out a reply:
*That's fine by me :) I’ll study for my theoretical part until then so my instructor will be proud ;)*

As soon as I hit send, I regretted the last part. My fingers trembled slightly, and I had to mentally slap myself. But I was curious—was Zack right about him? Could I tease out the "sense of humor" and friendliness my friend had mentioned?

Pushing the thought aside, I got dressed and gave Kunsel a poke to wake him up.

A tiny wave of disappointment hit me when the General didn’t reply before I left for morning training. But then again, I reminded myself, he’s a busy man—an important figure in ShinRa. Answering students wasn’t likely high on his priority list.

The training took place in a facility in the basement of the main ShinRa building, so we didn’t have to trek out to the mountains every time. "Every time" was only twice a week anyway—Mondays and Fridays—and attendance was voluntary. As a Third Class, most of our time was spent studying to prepare for the leap to Second Class, where morning trainings would become more frequent.

The session that day focused on martial arts—no weapons.

I couldn’t deny I felt safer with my sword. Still, we had to be ready for situations where we might be disarmed or caught without one. Zack would probably joke, “Even in the bathtub!” I rolled my eyes at the thought, suppressing a grin. But who gets attacked in the bathtub?

Kunsel volunteered to be my training partner. Throughout the session, he offered plenty of tips about techniques and scenarios where they’d come in handy. I had to admit, he knew a lot—though theory was clearly his strong suit. Despite his knowledge, he always ended up hugging the floor.

"You're really good, Cloud! You learn quickly," he chuckled as the training wrapped up. "It was nice having you as a partner. Oh, by the way, add me on your phone. I’ll send you all the fighting tips I know."

I agreed, and we exchanged numbers. As I moved to pocket my phone—brrr—it buzzed.

I nearly jumped but tried to play it cool so Kunsel wouldn’t notice.

It was Sephiroth. *Yeah, study hard. I’m sure your instructor will be proud ;) See you tomorrow. Greetings, Sephiroth*

"Ahh," I stammered, grateful Kunsel had already turned to chat with the other SOLDIERs. Suddenly, my heart was hammering.

I quickly slipped out of the training center and back to my room, my face warming. He’d even added a winking smiley. Zack wasn’t lying, I realized. 'He really does seem different when it’s not face-to-face.'

Feeling determined, I raised a fist. 'Time to make him proud.'

The rest of the day flew by as I buried myself in studying. Kunsel dropped by a few hours later, surprised at my sudden motivation. Little did he know the real reason...

When I finally went to bed, I felt accomplished—truly accomplished. I never thought this kind of excitement could fuel my studies. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

Saturday Morning.

The day of my second training.

A chill crept into my bed as I raised the blanket, making me hesitate. Winter was closing in fast, and the first frost was only a matter of time.

With plenty of time before field training, I decided to grab my phone. 'No idea why, but I want to message Sephiroth... What do I even write?'

*Morning :)... Brr, it’s so cold outside the bed -_-*

I read it over once more before hitting send. 'Not exactly profound, but it’s early. He can’t expect brilliance from me right now.'

To my surprise, his reply came almost instantly.

*Morning. Then stay in bed today :) Greetings, Sephiroth*

My grin widened. *But what about the field training?* I typed back, testing the waters.

Once again, a reply was almost instant. *Ha ha... If you’ve got a big bed?! ;) *

I froze, my face heating up. 'Does he realize what that sounds like?'

Fumbling with the keys, I typed a reply: *Not sure. Does 1.20m wide sound okay?*

My heart raced as his reply buzzed in.

*Ha... Enough if we only want to stand in one spot. Otherwise, it might get a little narrow. ;)*

I felt my face flush as my imagination spiraled. My mind conjured an image of Sephiroth and me on my bed, standing close, our bodies nearly touching in some kind of “training position.”

"Ahhh!" I shook my head violently to dispel the thought. 'Bad Cloud! You said you would stop!' I felt like something that got me to think in third person was definitely messing with my head too much.

“What is it?” Kunsel’s groggy voice drifted from the room across the hall.

“Nothing... Just a bad dream!” I blurted, grateful for my quick thinking.

“Ahh.” A grumble, followed by a snore.

I chuckled softly at how carefree he was. *Okay, going out now. See you in training!* I sent the message quickly, resisting the urge to reply to his previous text.

With that, I finally got out of bed, ready to face the day—and whatever awaited me during training.

Chapter Text

Actually, that wasn’t exactly true—I just wanted to escape the situation. Still, it was too tempting to grab my phone again while getting dressed, taking a shower, and eating breakfast. Somehow I resisted the urge each time.

By the time I arrived at the training center, Sephiroth was already waiting for me. My trip had taken longer than usual due to an accident on the road caused by fallen rocks.

“Sorry I’m late,” I said, catching my breath.

"Not your fault, don't worry," he nodded, and I was glad he was understanding—unlike some people I'd encountered before. We jumped into the session right after. Today’s training was a continuation of the last, only this time, with even bigger monsters. None of them moved to attack, but Sephiroth wanted me to feel how long it would take—a beginner like me—to take them down.

It indeed was a grueling task, measured by how much my muscles hurt after the hundreds of sword thrusts and by how hot I felt afterwards and during the training.

When I finally struck down the largest monster I’d faced so far—a dragon—I glanced at Sephiroth. He gave me an amused look, one eyebrow slightly raised.

I hesitated, suddenly unsure of myself. “Something wrong?” I asked, my voice smaller than I intended, feeling like I was giving him that 'kicked puppy dog'-look.

“No, nothing at all,” he replied, his lips curling into a faint smirk. “Actually, you’re the first to defeat all of them in such a short time. I have to say, you’re really talented.”

My eyes widened considerably at the compliment. “Are... you serious? I mean, I'm just a beginner...”

He stepped closer, resting a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not joking. I watched every move you made. You’ve got a natural instinct for fighting. You’ll go far here in ShinRa.”

His words washed over me like a warm summer rain, leaving me speechless. “Th-thank you, Sir...” I managed to stammer, my heart pounding in my chest. 'Was I really good? I thought I was just following my instincts and what little experience I had...'

“Well,” he continued, stepping back toward his bench, “I haven’t seen much of you yet, but what I’ve seen looks promising. Of course, there are areas to improve, but nothing we can’t fix.” He picked up the timetable, scanning it briefly.

“Alright,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, looks like I have a free slot for you tomorrow,” he said, glancing up. “One of my students is out sick. Same time as before—two o’clock?”

“Yes, absolutely,” I said, nodding eagerly.

“Okay, see you then.” He waved and disappeared through the door on the opposite side of my dressing room.

Today was a good day. Walking home that evening, I couldn’t stop smiling. The grin on my face was so wide that a few passersby gave me odd looks, but I didn’t care.

As soon as I collapsed onto my dorm bed, I felt the urge to message Sephiroth.

*This morning it was too cold, but during training, it was way too hot...*

A few minutes later, I heard the familiar buzzing.

*Then the jacket was probably too much.*, he replied.

I blinked. Had I even noticed I’d brought a jacket? At least now I knew he paid more attention to his surroundings than I did. So I messaged back: *Even without the jacket, it still was too hot :/*

While waiting for a reply, I grabbed my notes to study in bed, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to review for a while.

Then his next message came through: *Ok... but going out naked would have been a little bad, I suppose ;)*

I nearly choked on my morning coffee. Mock-feigning outrage, I shot back: *Whyy? Are you saying no one would want to see that :/ :D* I added a grinning face after the angry one at the end of my sentence to make sure he knew I was joking. I indeed had a big grin on my slightly red face.

His reply made my blush deepen: *Ha ha, you're funny... Oh, no, on the contrary—there’d probably be a lot of training accidents because no one would pay attention anymore :) ;)*

I stared at the screen, my heart racing. *True that... humm.* As much as I felt like continuing this, there were just too many alarm bells in my head ringing telling me not to push him too far. Thus, I added: *I better go back to studying :)* I was blushing brightly by now, not sure if it was a compliment or not. All of sudden, I felt the immense need to thank Zack.

*Hey, you wanna hang out again later tonight? At your app.* I messaged him. After a moment’s hesitation, I added, *... and thanks.* I hoped he’d understand what I meant. Writing something like "Thanks for bringing Sephiroth closer to me" would’ve been way too awkward.

For the remaining time before field training, I grabbed some lunch from the cafeteria and tried to recall what Sephiroth had told me to improve last time.

“Hmmm... I need to work on my speed, focus more during combat... And let's not even talk about my Materia usage,” I muttered under my breath. The mental checklist weighed me down, and I almost wanted to flop onto my bed right then and there.

Still, I reminded myself that I had time. Based on my theoretical knowledge, I was already closer to being exam-ready than most of the other new recruits. Well, except for Kunsel—he was practically a genius when it came to this matter.

Thanks to that, my stress levels were pretty manageable, especially after what had happened earlier.

I went to the field training as usual, Sephiroth commented on how this time we would try the martial arts or unarmed style fight—the one I had trained with Kunsel the other day.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a tiny Cloud was doing a victory pose, but the reality of having a real opponent quickly shut him down.

Sephiroth began with some basic explanations and asked me to demonstrate any moves I already knew, starting with hand and arm strikes. I stepped forward, trying my best to replicate the stances Kunsel had shown me.

Almost immediately, Sephiroth started correcting me.

He adjusted my footing, straightened my posture, and even repositioned my arms. I was bracing myself for a wave of criticism, but to my surprise, he gave me a few compliments too.

“You’re already above average in terms of knowledge,” he said after a few corrections.

I scratched the back of my neck, feeling a mix of pride and embarrassment. “We trained this yesterday,” I admitted. “But I’ve only read about these techniques before, so I’m not that good yet...”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Sephiroth said firmly. Without warning, he swung his arm toward my stomach.

I barely managed to block in time.

“See? You’ve got some natural talent,” he remarked.

Before I could respond, he shifted his weight and swept his leg under mine.

I hit the ground with a thud, landing ungracefully on my backside before sprawling flat on my back.

Sephiroth loomed over me, miming a stab with his hand like it was Masamune.

“Don’t let yourself get distracted. In a real fight, that could cost you your life—or someone else’s,” he said, offering me a hand.

I let him pull me up, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. “Got it. Sorry.”

We ran through the same move again. This time, he aimed for my throat. I dodged his attack, leaping out of reach just as his legs moved to trip me again.

Instead of letting him sweep me, I lunged forward, throwing him off balance.

He hadn't expected that – and as a result, we both landed on the floor. He was on his back with me half sitting and half lying on top of him.

He stared at me, his expression more confused than annoyed.

“Okaaay... That’s one way to handle the situation,” he said, and I noticed the faintest twitch of amusement at the corners of his mouth.

Heat rushed to my face. I must’ve looked like a confused puppy—one that still wasn’t moving.

“Next time,” Sephiroth continued, rolling to the side to dislodge me, “try to follow what you’ve learned. Improvisation can work, but it’s risky. An enemy could throw you off or have a weapon—like a knife—or even claws. You’d be vulnerable in this position.”

He raised his hand again, miming another stab for emphasis.

Suddenly hyper-aware of our position, I noticed how he cheekily ignored the fact that I had basically jumped on top of him... by accident of course. My face felt hotter all of a sudden.

'Way to make an ass out of yourself again, Strife', my inner voice muttered. Meanwhile, the General helped by explaining the lesson again.

When we tried the move again, I managed to execute it properly. By the third attempt, I was getting the hang of it, and we moved on to other unarmed combat basics.

To my surprise, Sephiroth praised me multiple times during the session, likely to keep me from dwelling on my earlier mistake. I soaked up every word, grateful for the encouragement.

When the lesson ended way too fast for my liking, I almost felt disappointed.

“As for the next lesson...” Sephiroth began as I finished getting dressed. “Today’s Saturday... I’m not sure yet, so I’ll message you. Is that okay?”

“Sure,” I said with a smile.

“And don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ve worked with far worse SOLDIERs,” he added.

I couldn’t help but grin at his attempt to reassure me. It must’ve been contagious because I caught the faintest ghost of a smile tugging at his lips as well.

Chapter Text

"Zaaaaack!" I knocked on his apartment door.

A muffled clatter sounded from inside, followed by a loud, "Owww!" and a series of thumping noises, like someone hopping on one leg.

I sighed, already knowing what to expect.

The door swung open to reveal Zack, looking disheveled and grinning sheepishly.

"...What happened?"

"Huuu..." he slurred, the faint smell of alcohol wafting toward me. He was clearly a drink or two in.

"She said yes! The flower lady!" he practically shouted, throwing his arms around me in a bear hug.

I awkwardly patted his back, trying to steer him inside before the neighbors got curious. "Uh, congrats?"

The raven-haired man released me and plopped onto his couch. "Yup, already started celebrating. Here, take a beer!" He handed me one, his grin as wide as ever.

I accepted it, still processing the situation. "Why's it such a big deal? I thought plenty of girls liked you. One more doesn’t seem like much."

"No, no, you don’t get it." Zack waved his hand dramatically, nearly spilling his drink. "This time, I actually like her back. I’ve been into her for ages, but I finally worked up the courage to ask her out!"

He sounded so genuinely proud that I couldn’t help but smile. "I’m happy for you."

"Thanks, man! So, what about you? Got a crush on anyone, Spike?" he teased, winking playfully.

I shook my head quickly, but my face betrayed me as memories of a certain silver-haired general surfaced.

"Ooooh, who is it? Come on, you can tell me! Is it that girl from your hometown? Or maybe—"

"No!" I cut him off, turning away to hide the heat rising in my cheeks. "There’s no one, I'm serious."

Zack raised an eyebrow but let it go, flopping back onto the couch. "Too bad. I’d miss having someone to hug all the time if I were you!" He clutched a pillow and made exaggerated kissing noises, thoroughly enjoying his performance.

I rolled my eyes, but his words brought back a flash of today’s training session—and the moment I ended up on top of Sephiroth. It wasn’t exactly a hug, but the proximity had stirred something undeniably warm in me.

"Zack," I began hesitantly, "since you are so close to Sephiroth, you have to know... does he like hugs?"

"...Oooooh~!" He immediately latched onto my question with a teasing tone.

"No! I mean—" I struggled to clarify, "You hug him all the time. If he didn’t like it, wouldn’t he push you away?"

Zack paused, his playful demeanor softening as he thought it over. "You know, I wasn’t sure at first, but yeah, he doesn’t mind. Actually, I think he likes it—he just won’t admit it. But keep it on the down-low, okay? We can’t have everyone trying to hug the General."

"Really?" I asked, skeptical but intrigued. 'His face in that moment was rather amused than angered or disgusted...'

"Yes, he really doesn't mind." Zack smiled widely.

I muttered a quiet "thought so" under my breath, trying to process the revelation.

"Pardon?" Zack grinned, leaning closer.

"Nothing." I took a sip of my beer, unable to stop the small smile tugging at my lips.

Zack then launched into a detailed account of how he’d asked the flower lady out, his excitement infectious. Meanwhile, my thoughts kept drifting to Sephiroth. I couldn’t help but wonder—if I hugged him, would he react the same way he did with Zack?

I noticed how new I still was to this dating thing. My last girlfriend had been a few years ago, back in my hometown... and I'd never felt any attraction towards anyone after that, until...

I shook my head to get rid of that thought, excusing myself with "there was a fly" when Zack asked.

"... and now we have a date in three days! Isn't that amazing?" He bobbed up and down on the sofa, smile never leaving his face.

"Yeah, that's great." I smiled, putting down my empty beer bottle. "I think I should get going, it's already dark outside."

"Alright, I'll bring you to the door!"

My raven-haired friend hugged me goodbye before I left his apartment, walking back to the main ShinRa building. The sun had already set a while ago, quite early as it was winter. I looked up to the night sky which strangely was unclouded. A fresh breeze blew through my hair and tugged on the dark scarf I had taken with me from my old home.

As I passed under the streetlights, a figure ahead caught my eye. Tall, with unmistakable silver hair, he was reading a small black book as he walked.

"Ah... hey!" I called out, quickening my pace.

Sephiroth glanced up, his expression softening slightly as he recognized me.

"Out late, aren’t you?" he said with mock authority, closing the book and tucking it away. I figured it might be another timetable of sorts, or perhaps just a notebook in general.

"I was at Zack’s, Sir," I replied, playfully saluting.

He smirked, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Ah, I’m heading there now. I hear he has some... important news."

My heart pounded as his touch lingered. Zack’s words echoed in my mind: 'He likes hugs.'

Once again I was glad that it was dark, otherwise my slight blush might have betrayed me. I tried to build up all courage I had inside me.

"... Then I wish you a nice evening and a good night, Sir!" With those words I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around the tall man's slim body.

My eyes were closed tightly when the only reaction that followed was a sound of surprise in the shape of a sharp exhale through his nose. When I noticed that his arms stayed in place beside him and not—as customary while hugging—around me, I suddenly felt ridiculously stupid and let go of him. His piercing, glowing eyes showed mixed emotions, most prominently some form of bewilderment.

"... Zack told me you like hugs", I explained myself mumbling quietly, face burning brightly, my gaze shifting to the ground.

I was still standing as close to him as when I had embraced him, so I noticed immediately when his body started trembling before he erupted into loud laughter. It was a rich, unguarded sound that filled the crisp evening air. That was the first time that I'd heard the General laugh like that and it gave me a feeling mixed of kicked puppy and confusion at this point. If I hadn't felt like the last idiot on earth before—when he had given me this absolutely puzzled look—then I did now.

Only when he finally calmed down, he met my wide-eyed gaze with a grin. "That silly man, I might have to slap him later", he mumbled to himself and I heard the amusement still evident in his voice.

Before I could fully process what was happening, Sephiroth pulled me into a brief, one-armed hug.

I was way too flabbergasted at this action, and before I could show any signs of returning the hug, he'd already let go of me again.

"Thanks for the laugh, haven't had that in a while." The General said and patted my spiky hair lightly.

I returned his smile—still not entirely sure whatever had just happened—and watched him turn around.

"Okay, time to go to Zack, not sure what he wanted to tell me... See you in class or field training, I'll message you." He waved with his back towards me and I managed to call out a quick "See you! And... you're welcome?"

When I turned around as well, I had the biggest smile on my face. It was in fact so big that after a few minutes of walking, my cheeks really began to hurt.

My brain was still busy processing what had just happened, but when it did, my mind replayed the moment over and over: 'I hugged Sephiroth... Sephiroth hugged me...!'

It was a short, awkward embrace, yet it felt like the most significant thing in the world.

I knew I was blushing furiously, but thankfully there weren't many people around at this time of the day and after entering our dorm, I knew that I was safe anyway.

If Kunsel wasn't in bed yet then he probably was studying. As for Zack... Beside all the awkwardness and confusion, I decided that I really owed him one now. 'Wait, Zack asked him to come... Then he's probably gonna tell him about that flower girl, too... And Sephiroth looked all serious, as if Zack depicted it as an important matter...' I had to snicker at that thought. 'Yes, he is probably getting a slap today... or two...'

I grinned, thinking about the hugs again. There wasn't much to say about them since they had been pretty short and full of confusion on both sides. If there'd ever be a second time, it'd have to go better... I decided.

Chapter Text

Sunday turned out to be uneventful, as I had expected. I spent most of the day studying and browsing field training tips online in the library, but ShinRa seemed to have a tight grip on that kind of information—it felt like top-secret material.

By evening, I was surprised to get a message from none other than the General himself.

*Our next training will be on Tuesday. How are your studies coming along?*

I quickly flipped through my notes and textbooks before replying, *That sounds good to me. I’d say I’m about 80% done.*

Studying wasn’t exactly my idea of fun, but the thought of rising through the ranks and impressing someone—him—was enough motivation to keep me going. Besides, the better missions that came with promotions would help me improve my fighting skills.

A moment later, my phone buzzed again. *That’s good. I’d suggest taking a practice exam in a week or two to see if you’re ready to advance.*

My eyes widened. *What? Already? I’ve only been here for a few months. Are you sure I can do it?*

*Yeah, the first exam isn’t too hard. They expect more for the second one a few weeks later, so it’s best to start early. I’m not comparing you to my other students, but I believe in you. :)*, was his reply.

I couldn’t help but smile at his words. Hearing that kind of encouragement from him filled me with a sense of pride and determination.

Before I could respond, another message arrived. *I’m heading to the shower now, so I’ll read your reply later.*

"Ah" I made a noise while trying to type an answer before he was gone, silently asking myself why he was giving me this specific piece of information. *Okay, I will try my best!*, I started but somehow felt the need to add some comment about his shower message. *Watch out for my hidden camera ;)* I pressed send and got nervous instantly, unsure if I was going too far.

His reply came faster than expected. *Then I hope it doesn't fog over ;)*

My mouth turned into a huge grin as my heart started beating faster 'He is really joining my game...', I thought and answered: *Then you'll have to wipe it clean—it's an HD cam *_* *, adding a drooling face at the end.

*Oh, even HD? Just don't upload it to the internet ;)*

'Not sure if he is joking or thinking I'm serious...' No matter what it was, it made me incredibly happy.

*Nono, it's all for myself ;) :)*, I answered, feeling like a jittery schoolgirl in love. 'Not going to imagine his lean, muscular body being all wet now... Stretching his arms up to run his fingers through his beautiful hair—'

His answer interrupted my thoughts since it came quickly afterwards. *Okay, then. Shower time now, good night.*

I stared at the screen, sighing softly. The conversation had ended too soon, but I couldn’t complain. He’d played along, and that alone was enough to leave me floating. As much as I tried to deny it, I couldn’t ignore the truth anymore—I was falling for the General.

Monday, on the other hand, was shaping up to be far less thrilling. Why? Because it was First Aid-Day.

ShinRa divided all SOLDIERs into two groups: one for rookies like me who’d never had first aid training and another for veterans who only needed their annual refresher. According to Zack, today’s highlight would be performing CPR on ugly practice dolls. Great.

Over breakfast, I sent Sephiroth a message, hoping to lighten my mood. *Going to First Aid to smooch puppets now :/* I was sad that I couldn't put the completely distressed face I was currently wearing into a smiley.

Halfway through my sandwich, I got his reply.

*Then don't destroy the doll ;)*

I rolled my eyes and tried to find a witty response. In the end it turned out less witty and more ambiguous: *No thanks, I don't like puppets that way... don't think that they are sexy... unlike people who have the honor to be watched by me during shower ;)*

I grinned as I brought my tray to the trash and walked towards the room where First Aid took place.

*Ha, who does something like that? ;)* Sephiroth messaged me and I grinned. 'Me, apparently... Sadly, not really...' I tried to bring my thoughts back to the ground before stumbling into weird situations particularly caused by lower parts of my body...

*... I guess I won’t have any free time during the course?* I texted him, taking a seat somewhere in the middle of the room—as Zack had advised me because the instructors tended to pick people from the front and the back first. I rolled my eyes when I thought of him 'Of course Zack is on a mission today... Along with Sephiroth... I would have liked to see them kissing dolls!' I grinned and searched the rows for Kunsel who wasn't in sight yet.

His response was both bold and expected. *No free time for you—you’ll be busy with the puppets ;)*

I pouted, typing out another playful jab. *Oh man, I'm already scared. The training instructor should be responsible for teaching his students that personally in his classes ;) :D* I felt the need to bring this hint up. 'Maybe, just maybe...'

*Ha ha... then I'd be alone in the room later. ;)* He answered, and I was starting to wonder if he was also texting other people beside me. Maybe I wasn't the only one...

*Not quite alone... ;)* I replied and grinned from the way he reacted.

*Okay, maybe a few flies and spiders would be present...*

By now, the class had started, and I did my best to focus on the instructor’s dull explanation while sneaking glances at my phone. It wasn’t easy keeping my grin in check, especially as I read through our banter. For now, I decided to keep my responses light and avoid drawing too much attention to myself.

*Nonsense... if it were truuuuuly necessary, I’d be there too. :x* I texted, trying not to sound too obvious. My fingers hesitated before hitting send, but I forced myself to press it anyway. Rubbing my forehead, I mentally berated myself for overthinking everything.

The instructor droned on, her voice a monotonous hum in the background, until she finally announced it was time to practice bandaging techniques. I paired up with the person next to me, and we fumbled through wrapping each other's arms and legs until the instructor approved our work. The moment we were dismissed for a short break, I grabbed my phone again, eager to see Sephiroth’s reply.

What read, however, made my heart plummet from ShinRa's roof—judging by how it felt like.

*What would my girlfriend say? ;)*

I gulped as my stomach clenched, and read it over and over. 'Girlfriend... girlfriend... girlfriend...' The word echoed in my mind like a cruel taunt. ‘Why didn’t I think of this before? Of course, someone as incredible as him wouldn’t be single.’

For a brief moment, I felt a sting behind my eyes. Crying wasn’t my thing, but I couldn’t deny the knot tightening in my chest. ‘What an idiot I am… thinking I even had a chance.’ Quickly, I chased the thought away.

I would have to answer him quickly before it got suspicious. 'I can't have him thinking that him saying that affected me...'

I swallowed hard and forced myself to type a neutral response. *Nothing, it's only studying, after all. That can save lives later :)* I threw in a smiley for good measure, hoping it masked my disappointment.

'Why did I expect that he would return my feelings?'

After all, I was just an ordinary recruit. A man, too, which only added another layer of impossibility to my wishful thinking. Surely, someone like him wouldn’t... couldn’t... feel that way about me.

'He’s just being playful,' I told myself, clinging to the thought as if it could steady me. 'Just like he is with Zack.'

I thought back to our earlier interactions, replaying each moment and message. Any of it could easily be dismissed as friendly banter, the kind of jokes shared between close friends. Even the shower-camera remark, showing up for FT naked, or sitting on my bed to do FT—none of it necessarily meant anything. If anything, I’d probably been reading too much into things, projecting my own feelings onto him.

But then there was today.

My frown lingered, uncertainty gnawing at me—until his next message arrived, and it disappeared entirely.

*So, mouth-on-mouth for hours and hours? ;)*

I froze, staring at the words as if they might rearrange themselves into something less... suggestive. What kind of game was he playing? My confusion deepened, tangling with the cautious flicker of hope his text sparked. This wasn’t something friends joked about. At least, not in my world.

'The topic of ‘kissing’ definitely isn’t in the ‘friendly’ category', I thought, my heart racing.

I hesitated for a moment, then decided to match his tone, letting myself lean into the ambiguity of the moment. *No idea. I wouldn’t know how that works yet. You’ll have to show/tell me. :)*

The smile on my face was slowly returning.

*Oh god, if I still remember that...? :D*

My face flushed at his playful tone, and for a moment, I completely forgot about his so-called girlfriend.

*I can already see that our next field training will be very informative...* I teased, unable to stop myself from grinning.

Meanwhile, the first aid class had moved on to accident-scenarios, and I forced myself to glance up. What I saw wasn’t reassuring. The instructor had brought out the dreaded CPR puppet. I gulped, suppressing a groan. It looked even worse in person.

Snapping a photo, I zoomed in and sent it to Sephiroth with the words *I think I’ll go home now… I’d rather have you here instead. :P*

I knew I was teasing him, but as long as he was playing along, I didn’t plan to stop.

*Ha ha... the puppet would probably last longer... but thanks! :D*

Closing my eyes, I imagined Sephiroth next to me, his presence effortlessly commanding the room. The way he wrote such things made it feel like he wasn’t entirely against the idea of… well, kissing me. Or maybe that was just my wishful thinking.

*You'll have to breathe through your nose. Seems like I'll have to teach you something as well...* I wrote him, unsure if he was joking about that part. Him not knowing how to kiss seemed absurd to me... Although he indeed was older than me, probably over 30. In addition to that, I didn't know anything about his girlfriend—how long he had been with her, if she even lived around here or in another country... Perhaps yet, if their relationship had already lost its steam...

*Ha ha, should I get scared now? ;)* He replied and interrupted my thoughts.

I chuckled softly, the light mood distracting me from my earlier doubts. 'Of course he wouldn't just say “yes, teach me how to kiss because I have already forgotten”...' I had to think a while before finding an answer to that.

*Not if you you show the right reaction.* 'Yeah, that sounds stupid. But what else should I say to that.'

*... and that would be?* he asked, and I found myself grinning at his continued engagement.

Now I had to think of what to say again. Thankfully, the instructor announced a short break before CPR practice began, giving me some time to think.

'Hell, I can't start talking about kissing with my training instructor. Or Sephiroth himself even. Does he really expect me to tell him how kissing works now?'

I shook my head... then got an idea. *Depends on the situation.* Click, send. Simple enough to keep the conversation going without diving into dangerous territory.

*And the situation is? ;)* he shot back.

Before I could reply, the instructor called us back to attention, her voice cutting through my thoughts. She began assigning students to demonstrate CPR techniques, including the lateral recumbent position. I sighed and pocketed my phone, knowing I’d have to face the puppet—and my escalating feelings—sooner or later.

Chapter Text

It had been about 20 minutes since our last exchange when a new message popped up on my phone. This time, I was free to check it.

*How much longer is that first aid class?*

I grinned at the text, tempted to tease him with something like, "Miss me already?" but I held back. Instead, I decided to keep it light.

*I’m a pro puppet smoocher now. The instructor complained about everyone but me!* I grinned and sent it.

The answer came soon afterwards and made my face heat up again. *Then you must be a good kisser ;) :D*

My heart skipped. I had to lean back for a few seconds and close my eyes just to see an image of Sephiroth telling me that personally... That felt surreal. Also, I had never even had my first kiss yet... After a moment’s hesitation, I typed back: *Nah, not pro at that, you have to show me and explain ;) You're the teacher here.*

It felt bold, but I hit send anyway.

'What would it be like to have this man teach me how to kiss... Would he explain it first? Or would he just go in and show me?' I started daydreaming again, clinging to my notebook. 'I mean I know the basics from friends, TV, books... But feeling it must be an entirely different thing.' I pushed the thoughts away of me accidentally biting him, using too much tongue, or even missing his mouth entirely like I had seen in a clip that one time.

By the time the three-hour class finally wrapped up, I was relieved to see the instructor handing out certificates. My phone buzzed in my bag, and I eagerly checked Sephiroth’s response.

*Hmm, we will see.*

The simple reply sent a jolt of excitement through me. 'Maybe I am getting a kiss after all...' I couldn’t stop the wide smile that stretched across my face, earning me a few curious glances from my classmates. They must’ve thought I was overjoyed about finishing the course—but my thoughts were entirely elsewhere.

The next day, I woke up feeling more eager for field training than usual, thanks to our text exchange. It was hard to ignore the giddy sense of anticipation bubbling inside me.

For the first time before training, I spent an unusually long time in the bathroom. I tried taming my hair—though I knew it was pointless, as it would inevitably revert to its messy state during the session. I brushed my teeth, flossed, and even spritzed on a little cologne.

After making it to the bus just in time, I leaned back and thought about today's FT and yesterday's texts again. As I somehow had been doing all day. And the rest of yesterday. I would be standing next to him... Shyly asking "I think I didn't quite catch the CPR part yesterday..." or "So you said you don't remember how to kiss?" and he would step closer, place his hand under my chin... Wrap his other arm around me to hold me... And whisper "Let's see..."...

'I wonder if his lips are like they were in my dream...' I remembered the soft, yet firm lips on mine, feeling safe in his arms...

I felt a flush of heat spread through me and quickly stopped myself. Placing a water bottle strategically on my lap, I groaned internally. ‘Think of something unpleasant... Oh, right. His girlfriend.’

The thought killed my mood almost instantly. My smile faded, and the heat subsided.

'That's right... He mentioned her yesterday... But why had I never heard of or seen her? Not even after class?' My eyes were now fixed on the scenery outside which had suddenly become very interesting to look at. That, or I was trying to distract myself from the incoming sadness.

Although, if Zack didn't know about her—as he had stated, then there was still hope. If he hadn't mentioned her even to him... then it probably was nothing serious. 'Or that's what I hope...'

When I arrived at the training hall, my nerves kicked in. I checked my hair and teeth one last time before heading inside.

Sephiroth entered from another door, his usual calm demeanor making him look effortlessly composed. I walked over to him, and he greeted me with a simple, “Hey,” offering his hand.

I took it, shaking it with a smile. For a moment, I half-expected him to mention yesterday’s first aid class, but instead, he asked about my studies. Deciding not to push the topic, I resolved to save my “CPR hints” for later.

Today’s session focused on Materia training. Sephiroth handed me a simple Fire Materia and demonstrated how to use it against a training robot. At first, it seemed straightforward, but things got trickier when he introduced the concept of elemental effectiveness.

ShinRa’s robots, as it turned out, were programmed with elemental alignments and could only be defeated with the correct Materia.

Sephiroth passed me various types of Materia, patiently explaining their effectiveness. “You’re getting better,” he said after my fourth successful attempt. “You just need to react and identify the elements faster.”

I nodded. "Will try my best!"

After the lesson—a surprisingly contact-free one, much to my disappointment—Sephiroth walked toward me.

“Next field training will focus on Cure and other medical Materia,” he explained. “We’ll also cover basic first aid for situations where Materia isn’t available.” His voice suddenly seemed softer than usual.

The mention of “first aid” made my eyes widen slightly. Memories of yesterday’s texts flashed in my mind, and I suddenly became hyper-aware of how close he was standing.

I leaned forward ever so slightly—

—but Sephiroth turned away to grab his notebook. “By the way, I’m heading out on a mission near Costa del Sol next week,” he said. “So our next appointment will probably be the last one for a while. At least a week or two, I'd say."

My heart sank, and I looked down, trying to mask my disappointment about two things now. “Okay,” I said softly, staring at the floor.

He seemed surprised by my reaction and stepped closer again. From the corner of my eye, I could see his expression shift, as though he was trying to gauge my mood.

"Oh, don't be sad. Come here."

Before I could react, his arms rose to pull me into an embrace. One hand settled on my hip while the other rested gently on top of my head, his elbow on my shoulder. My eyes widened in surprise, but I quickly lifted my arms to wrap them around him.

"You've already improved so much," he said softly. "And you're a quick learner. This will give you time to study for your written exam."

The hug ended all too soon as he stepped back, leaving me yearning for more.

"But I'm worried I'll forget something from this class if you're not here..." I confessed, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice.

Sephiroth chuckled, a light and reassuring sound. "Don't worry. You can always train with Genesis or Angeal while I'm gone. They'll be in charge of the classes."

I pouted. It wasn't the answer I wanted to hear.

"But... I want you!" I blurted out, instantly regretting my words when I realized what it sounded like. "I... I mean—"

The General chuckled, cutting off my flustered attempt to backtrack, and patted my head again. "I was going to say that switching instructors midway through training isn't ideal. But I'll take it as a compliment."

My face lit up with hope.

"I like your hair, by the way," he added unexpectedly.

"Oh... thanks," I stammered, scratching the back of my neck to mask my growing embarrassment.

"Alright, then. See you in class tomorrow. I'll text you about our next field training," he said, giving me a small wave as he turned to leave.

"Yeah, see you!" I called after him, practically skipping back to the dorms.

I couldn't stop smiling. 'He hugged me! He actually hugged me!' The warmth of his touch lingered, fueling my motivation to study harder than ever before.

Later that evening, my phone buzzed.

*Friday at 4 PM. Does that work for you? – Sephiroth.*

I grinned and quickly typed back. *Of course. Looking forward to it! :)*

The lack of a kiss today was a minor letdown, but I rationalized it away. 'We were out in the open. Someone could've seen us. Maybe he was joking about the CPR thing... but it felt serious... I'll just have to stick to teasing him for now.' I decided, then felt my phone vibrate.

*Alright, me too. :)*

I smiled, trying to think of something smug to say but my stomach growling interrupted me. 'Oops, I missed supper... looks like I'll have to find something in the fridge... but before that...'

A bit shyly and unsure if that was appropriate, I clicked send after finishing my text message. *I'm so hungry... I could nibble on you! ;'( :P*

The minutes that followed were agonizing. When five passed with no reply, I buried my face in my hands. "Too much. That was way too much," I muttered, already regretting my boldness.

The microwave beeped, snapping me out of it. I grabbed my reheated leftovers and tried to focus on anything but the silence from my phone. 'Still no answer... He must think I'm all weird... To ask him something like that... Sephiroth...'

I ate silently at my table with my books, my head sunken in shame up until I was done washing my plate. When I returned, I took a glance at my phone. '1 unread text message...' My heart started beating faster in a good way now.

*I don't taste good ;)*

... aaand I was blushing. My heart felt light again. 'Probably he's just busy at work... Can't blame him, after all, he's the General... but what do I write now?'

*Hmm, I’ll have to test that theory on Friday... But don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. ;)* Hesitantly, I pressed send again.

My thoughts were already wandering to Friday, my lips on Sephiroth's neck, teeth grazing it...

*Really?*, he asked me in his next text.

*Yeah :) Or you like? O_O*, I answered him, thoroughly enjoying myself. 'No signs of rejection...' I smiled even wider, already closing my eyes to go back to imagining... when I suddenly got an early reply again.

*Ha ha... depends on the situation! ;) ;) ;)*

My eyes widened, remembering how I had used that answer yesterday in first aid class. I answered him quickly *Ooooohoo O.O *_* * and closed my eyes, imagining him and me again... on the bank at the back of the hall... or even ending up on my bed... His lips on mine... my teeth softly pulling at his lower lip...

Bzz bzz. *Calm down ;) haha*, Sephiroth texted me.

'Calm down, funny...' I looked between my legs and realized that a cold shower was required... or, something else...

Clicking of the door, Kunsel was coming home... So, the shower it was.

I quickly hurried to the bathroom, throwing him a "Hey" before closing the door.

When a cheeky idea popped into my head, my mouth formed into a wide grin. *I'm going to take a shower now. Want a photo of me under it?*, I messaged Sephiroth.

After I had removed my clothes, I got an answer from him. *Are you serious?*

I grinned wider. *Yeah, you don't want?*

I stepped into the shower and grabbed the shower head. Of course I didn't suggest sending him a photo of me under the shower unprepared, there already was an idea in my head.

So I held the shower head above my spiky hair, grinned and took a photo from the shoulders up.

Then I looked at Sephiroth's answer.

*Well, since I'm sure you're joking, anyway... go ahead and send. ;)*

I chuckled lightly and sent him my photo with the text: *Me UNDER the shower!*

After doing so, I turned on the water and draped the towels over the curtain rod.

His response came quickly. *Ha ha, I knew that you were only joking...*

I couldn’t help but grin, rinsing off as I thought about how fun and natural it felt to talk and text with him. The entire shower was accompanied by a huge smile on my face. It was surreal—sharing moments like this with the great General Sephiroth.

Before meeting him, I wouldn’t have called myself a "fanboy." Sure, I admired him as the hero of the War, but not on a personal level. Now, though, I knew the man behind the legend, thanks to Zack nudging me to tease him. That had been, without a doubt, the best idea since I’d joined ShinRa—especially because I'd never been this motivated to study well before.

I felt a new surge of motivation, not just to keep up in training, but to excel. To impress him. That thought lingered as I soaped up, a giddy warmth spreading through me. There was no denying it now—the fluttering in my chest, the butterflies in my stomach, the way everything felt brighter and better.

I wanted to climb the ranks as quickly as possible, to prove myself. The faster I made 2nd Class, the closer I’d be to 1st, and to being someone Sephiroth could rely on, like Zack. Maybe even call him “Seph” casually or share inside jokes like they did. Maybe... spend quiet evenings together.

My hands moved on autopilot as I shampooed my hair, my mind drifting further into daydreams. 'Or more...' The thought sent a rush of heat through me, and I imagined it was his hands brushing over my skin, tracing my chest, gliding down my sides, lower—

Two loud knocks at the door. "Cloud?"

I froze, every muscle in my body locking up.

“I wanna take a quick shower. Gotta head out with Luxiere and his friends,” Kunsel called through the door.

“Uh... Okay! Almost done!” I shouted back, hastily rinsing off with a blast of cold water to chase away the flush creeping up my neck.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, Kunsel was waiting by the door. His brow lifted at the sight of my phone in my hand. 'Probably thinks I'm sending someone photos...'

I brushed past him, muttering, “All yours, have fun tonight!” and headed straight for my room.

Deciding I’d probably taken up enough of Sephiroth’s time for one day, I resolved to leave him alone for the night. He likely had plenty of other people competing for his attention.

Other people... The thought settled heavily in my mind as I sat at my desk, staring blankly at my study materials.

‘Does he do this with any other student?’ I chewed on the end of my pen. ‘Has he done it before? He’s the General—he must have tons of admirers.’

My jaw tightened. ‘And his girlfriend...’ My thoughts turned darker. ‘He wouldn’t have brought her up as a joke unless they were serious... Or maybe he’s just bored with her, and I’m some distraction?’

Mentioning other people... 'I wonder if he's doing that with any other student... or has done it before... he surely is in the position to have his followers wanting that...' I started chewing on my pen in thought. 'But, his girlfriend... I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mention her as a joke in such a situation...' My gaze darkened as I narrowed my eyes. 'Maybe he is only playing with me because he is tired of his girlfriend, maybe there is something wrong with her...'

The pen slipped from my teeth, and I accidentally bit down on my lower lip. Hard.

Pain jolted me out of my spiral of thoughts. “Ahhh!” I yelped, tasting the sharp tang of blood. I darted to the kitchen, grabbing a tissue to stem the bleeding.

‘Great, Cloud. That’s what you get for overthinking,’ I scolded myself, sighing as I dabbed at my lip.

Back in my room, I used a damp tissue to clean the blood that had dripped onto my study notes. Thankfully, they were just personal materials, so the smudges weren’t a huge deal, but it still felt like a mess.

‘What am I supposed to do about this lip?’ I frowned at my reflection in the window. A bandage wasn’t practical. Neither was a full-on bandage wrap, obviously.

In the end, I decided to tuck a small piece of tissue in the corner of my mouth to keep the wound clean until bedtime.

By the time I crawled under the covers, the bleeding had finally stopped. The pain lingered, but re-reading our earlier texts helped take the edge off.

Even though it hurt to smile, I couldn’t stop myself. And honestly, it was worth every bit of the ache.

Chapter Text

For some reason, I was looking forward to classes—most likely because I’d get to see the General again. It was strange how much I missed him, even after just a day apart.

Back in Nibelheim, I’d had a girlfriend, but I couldn’t recall ever feeling anything like this before. Maybe it was because I was 16 then and clueless about real feelings—or maybe it was because this was different. A crush on... a man. Since we had not done much back then, I still was...

"Spike! Hey!"

A familiar voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see Zack waving over the heads of the crowd heading toward Sephiroth’s class. Before I could say anything, he was next to me, ruffling my hair with a grin.

“Hey!” I protested, pushing him away. He just laughed and pulled me into a tight hug before letting go and falling into step beside me. “How’s it going?” he asked.

As I tried to fix my hair, I felt my cheeks heat up, remembering how Sephiroth said he liked it. “Same as always,” I replied. “What about you?”

“Good!” Zack grinned. “Heading to class. There’s a meeting afterward about next week’s mission.”

The mention of the mission made my heart sink. I’d almost forgotten that Sephiroth would be gone for days, maybe even weeks. Zack must’ve noticed my expression because he suddenly stopped walking, his smile faltering.

“Whoa, what happened to your lip?” he asked.

Caught off guard, I brought my hand up to the small sting I’d grown used to. “It’s nothing,” I mumbled.

Zack’s grin returned, but now it was teasing. “Training accident? Or...” He nudged me. “...another kind of accident? Come on, who was it?”

I sighed. “No, it wasn't that spectacular. Only an accident while chewing on a pen...”

“A pen... is that so?” Zack snickered but, thankfully, got distracted as we arrived at the classroom.

“Seph!” he called, waving energetically. Then, I watched him darting forward, clearly aiming for a hug.

I watched how Sephiroth twitched and raised his arm up just in time to stop Zack from his attempted hug—with the palm of his hand on Zack's forehead, holding the struggling man back. I heard the General mutter something along the lines of “You're embarrassing me,” and “can't you wait until the end of the lesson?”

I chuckled at the scene, quickly sliding into my seat in the second row. My eyes drifted toward the General, who was busy talking to other students. While I wanted to join the conversation, I also didn’t want to come off as annoying or clingy. Instead, I sat quietly, watching as a strand of his silvery hair slipped free from behind his ear and fell into his face when he leaned down to check his laptop.

He didn't smile when he was talking to other people, but somehow, he still didn't appear unfriendly. 'He is one strangely amazing human...' I caught myself daydreaming while everyone moved to their seats.

Zack waved goodbye as he headed to the office behind the classroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I glanced at Sephiroth again, wondering if he’d noticed me yet. Had he ever looked at me during class? I couldn’t remember. But tonight, I wanted him to. Maybe while I was answering one of his questions about the current subject.

I secretly grabbed my phone, suddenly unbelievably aware of how unreal my current situation was. My face turned slightly warmer when I read our latest texts:

*I don't taste good ;)*
*Hmm, I will have to convince myself of that on Friday... And no, I won't hurt you ;)*
*Really?*
*Yeah :) Or you like? O_O*
*Ha ha... depends on the situation! ;) ;) ;)*

I was just about to dim my phone to avoid “downtown awkwardness” when the lights in the room flickered off.

My head shot up just in time to see the presentation on the whiteboard in front of me... when suddenly, I felt several eyes on me.

“Your phone!”, someone whispered and I reacted quickly by dimming the screen...

Now I was deadly sure that a certain somebody’s eyes would be on me as well – not the way I had planned, however.

Carefully and slowly, my gaze moved up and to my instructor's eyes... but, instead of annoyance or anger which I expected for being rude and interrupting class, I found confusion in the pools of mako green...

His questioning look threw me off. Why would he be confused? Then I noticed him biting his lip, the sharp corner of his canine tooth catching the skin. My own lip stung in response, and I realized he must’ve noticed my injury. Embarrassed, I shook my head as if to say, “it’s nothing.” He hesitated, then gave me a subtle nod before continuing the lesson.

The rest of the class passed in a blur, and as students began to pack up, Sephiroth’s voice cut through the room.

“Cloud Strife, stay after class.”

I froze. Several students shot me curious glances as they left, but I stayed rooted to my seat, dreading what was coming. When the last person filed out, Sephiroth gestured for me to step forward.

I approached his desk slowly, my stomach twisting with nerves. 'It must be about that cellphone thing. They're forbidden during class, after all...' He rose and circled around me, his face unreadable.

By the time he finally spoke up, my heart was beating considerably faster because I had already pictured the worst scenarios in my head:
Him taking my phone away, him thinking I was also doing these kinds of texts with other people, or even... telling me that he wanted to stop the ambiguous–at least hinted–texting...

After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke up. “Did someone hurt you?” he asked, stopping in front of me. “Or did it happen during training?”

Sephiroth lifted his arm slowly, his hand moving up as if to touch my lip... but shortly before reaching it, he withdrew it and placed a finger on the corner of his own lips instead. The gesture made my heart race, but I managed to respond.

“Oh, no... It was an accident with a fork last night, please don't worry about it.” I explained, watching his serious face soften. Fork sounded less dorky than getting hurt by a pen...

His expression softened immediately. “Are you sure? Well, okay... We do not use healing Materia for such small matters, otherwise I would offer you—”, he started but I interrupted the taller man.

“I'll get some ointment from the nurse, alright?”, I smiled at him. “But thanks for your concern.”

I felt the strong urge to hug him for caring about me. Since there were no other students around anymore, it wouldn't seem weird... But I didn't want to make the first step and risk awkwardness.

“Please do. I'll go head to a short meeting,” he said, putting on his black cloak, still standing in front of me.

I smiled at him again. “Then have fun, and good night.” My voice came out quieter than I intended, and I hesitated before leaning forward slightly, hoping he’d take the hint.

To my surprise, he did. With a smirk, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I pressed against him, returning the hug. A pleasant scent of leather and aftershave emitted from him, and I prayed that I still smelled like my conditioner.

“Take care of yourself and on your way home,” Sephiroth added, hands sliding down to pat my back.

“T-Thanks” I mumbled half into the fabric of the cloth on his chest and half up to his neck. I felt a few strands of his silver hair tickling my cheek and had to smile. “You too,” I finished, the intoxicating scent surrounding him now impossible to ignore. During our previous hugs, I’d been too overwhelmed by the sheer fact of embracing Sephiroth to notice it—but now it lingered, wrapping around me as much as his presence did.

When we pulled away, I tried to hide my blush resulting from my face having been pressed against him, as well as that gorgeous smell...

Fortunately, he turned around to grab his suitcase, so I offered him a quick “See you!”

I quickly caught his answer “Good night” before rushing out of the door, face full of pure joy.

As I left the classroom, my heart was soaring. I couldn’t stop thinking about the graceful General anymore—his voice, his scent, the way he made me feel. For once, I didn’t care how ridiculous it seemed. All I knew was that Sephiroth made me happier than anything else. Even Kunsel was starting to worry what the cause of my sudden happiness outbursts was. Of course, I couldn't tell him what caused it, that would just be weird as hell.

Now that I thought about it, I didn't even know any homosexuals here at ShinRa. If I had internet at other places than the library, I would have done a research on it to find out if it wasn't even forbidden. 'Then I'd surely be screwed...' I thought, sighing.

Instead of worrying about that, I decided to think about my upcoming theory exam for 2nd Class. After taking a look at my papers, I figured that I was pretty much done with everything beside one book and some papers from class.

Therefore I flipped the book open and started another studying session, motivated from this day's events.

Chapter Text

*I think I'm almost ready for the theory exam*, I texted Sephiroth later that evening.

After a few minutes, his reply came: *Really, you think so? Greetings, Sephiroth.*

I chuckled at his formal tone. It was always like this—he started with such a professional air but loosened up as the conversation went on. Well, as long as he did that, I didn't mind.

*Yeah, when's the exam? In two or three weeks, right?* I asked while settling into my bed with a book.

He replied about five minutes later: *Yes, Wednesday in two weeks. Sorry for the late replies. I'll take a quick shower!*

My thoughts began to wander, and I couldn't resist teasing him: *Okay, don't wanna disturb the naked instructor *_* :x O_O*

Before I could think any further, I got an answer already. *Turn the camera off! ;) ;)*

I laughed, recalling the ongoing joke between us. My imagination, however, was already running wild—Sephiroth in the bathroom, water cascading down his sculpted body, his silver hair glistening in the steam, those gorgeous glowing eyes...

* *_* Who says... O_O ... that it's.... *_* turned on... *_* * I added a bunch of drooling smileys with heart-eyes and
grinned widely.

*How else would you know that I'm naked?! ;) ;)* My grin widened when I noticed how fast his answers were coming
now. I concluded that he was probably sitting on a chair in the washroom and texting me in all his naked pride...

*Are you? O_O *_* * I wanted to make sure that I had all rights to imagine...

When I got his confirmation, I blushed brightly. *For the shower, that would be better! ;) ;)*

I felt how hot my face was and how hard my head—among other things—was pounding. I saw him in a sensual position,
leaning backwards lightly, the sweat or water from the steam rolling down his chest in tiny droplets... tracing his muscular
body...

*And how come I have the privilege of you texting with me while being naked? *_* O_O*

Now I felt like I was the one making him wait for answers... But I couldn't stop my brain from seeing those images, not
even if I tried...

*That's nothing dramatic, is it... ;) ;) you're not seeing anything, after all ;)...*

'Gah, what a tease he is...' I thought, between frowning and being somewhat turned on.

*Photo B-) *_* * I added a blushing smiley behind the one with the sunglasses... Guess I'd just play along...

*Of the shower? ;)*

Oh, he was enjoying this. I could almost hear the smirk in his voice through the text.

I grinned, my head screaming 'TEASE! Tease! Tease!'

*You also got one of me under the shower :D,* I quipped, thinking back to our banter the previous day. 'I'll have to thank Zack again... This is amazing...'

Thinking of Zack, I had received several of his messages as well but kind of ignored them since most were only about him doing well in missions, or which future events he helped planning... and so on. I sometimes answered “Sounds great” or something along those lines, knowing that he wasn't used to getting much more of a text answer out of me. Unlike Sephiroth...

I felt a twinge of disappointment when I didn’t get a reply to my last text, but I chalked it up to the General being as busy as ever. By now, I’d noticed that he only responded at specific times—likely during brief breaks between classes or field training. Seeing how packed his schedule was, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of admiration and relief. I valued my free time now, but I knew that would change as I climbed the ranks.

So instead of sulking, I chose to get ready for bed instead and mentally prepare for the test exam which apparently was in three days.

By now I felt pretty prepared, there still was stuff that I hadn't studied yet, but there still were like two or three weeks until the real exam.

For the next three days, I decided to revise some more. I was a bit sad when Sephiroth didn't SMS me a new appointment yet – after all, he would already be gone in a few days – starting next Monday. Still, I focused on my studies.

As for the test exam, I woke up early at 6 to take it at 7. It took place in the same room where my classes with Sephiroth were – therefore I knew that I only needed 10 minutes to get there.

I felt pretty prepared as of now and when I saw that Zack would pass me the papers, I smiled widely.

“Here ya go, Spike. And don't take it too seriously if you don't pass. You're allowed to make three mistakes in 30 questions. Yadda yadda, you know the rest! Good luck!” The raven-haired man smiled and placed the sheets and a pen in front of me.

The questions felt manageable—only three or four gave me pause, but I made my best guesses. When I finished, I handed my paper back to Zack, who immediately checked it. 'The real exam will not be here, though... But in some cheat-proof building with all the other 3rd ranked SOLDIERS... Doubt I'll be as easygoing then...'

Just in this moment, someone walked into the room from the backdoor... Someone with silver hair...

Phone in hand, he looked over, noticed the commotion, and gave me a small wave before disappearing into the adjacent kitchen.

My eyes drifted back to Zack, who was just finishing up, it seemed. “... Also correct... Yes... Yes... Okay, done!”, he lifted up the papers.

“So?” I asked, stepping closer.

I could already read the answer on Zack's grinning face, but then he got up to hug me tightly. “Congrats, Spike! Zero mistakes! You nailed it!”

“Ahh... Really?” I struggled for air, noticing Sephiroth's head poking out from behind the kitchen door to check what was going on.

After my friend was done pressing his cheek against mine, he signed and stamped the test. “Seph, dear, sign this for me, will ya?”

I chuckled when the General narrowed his eyes at the “dear”, but came our direction anyway. “Yeah, okay. Okay, bye now.” He hung up the phone, then looked at me. “Congrats. I knew you could do it. Now for the real exam...”

“Thank you, Sir! Yes, I know,” I beamed, watching Zack typing something into the computer and then printing a paper.

He passed Sephiroth the freshly printed document, who signed and handed it over to me.

My raven-haired friend spoke up. “You gotta pass this the examiner on the real exam day in two weeks. That way he knows that you're legitimately joining early.”

I smiled, happy that I was proceeding so quickly. When I was about to leave, I suddenly remembered something.

“Oh... What about the next appointment, Sir?” I looked at Sephiroth, who was about to leave the room again.

He looked surprised, then quickly said “Sorry, must have forgotten about. I've been busy these few days, preparing the mission.”

“No problem, I thought so.” I leaned against the door, waiting for him to take out his schedule.

“Saturday... Let's see... at... eight in the morning? That's the only free slot I've got, sorry.”

“Sure!” I said immediately. 'Happy enough that I will see him at least one or two more times before he's gone for so long...'

“Okay, I'll send you a confirmation by SMS later. Gotta go now.” He muttered, facing the door again, Zack following.

“See you!” I waved, a bit sad that I wasn't getting a hug today. 'At least I am getting hugs from him. I doubt many people have that luck...' That thought made me happy again. Thinking of him was all I needed to be happy...

Friday promised to be a bit more eventful than the days before. Over lunch and afterward, I’d planned to spend time with Kunsel and his friends to see a musical. I couldn’t help but wonder sarcastically which one they had in mind this time.

We’d already seen LOVELESS at least four times—we being me included. I had no idea how many times Kunsel had gone on his own, but it was definitely enough to qualify him as an aficionado.

During the play, I received an SMS from my instructor, confirming our scheduled meeting for Saturday. I didn’t reply, though, not wanting to appear bored—even though I sort of was.

After the performance, we stopped by a small café for coffee and tea, chatting about the play, recent events, and, naturally, our love lives. It was a good time all around, and after my second cup of coffee, I excused myself, claiming I needed to shower since I had plans to head to Zack’s later that evening.

Once I was out of the shower, I stretched out on my bed to relax for a while before heading over at seven. The darkness outside, brought on by the early winter sunset, made it clear there weren’t many options for outdoor activities this time of year. If the weather had been better, I wouldn’t have minded going to a lake, hiking in the mountains, or even indulging in some shopping, if I had to.

Thankfully, we had the comfort of warm apartments—mine shared with Kunsel, while Zack had the luxury of his own space. The perks of being 1st Class. While I genuinely liked Kunsel, I couldn’t deny that I valued privacy even more.

Now that I had some free time, I decided to message the General. Or “disturb”, whichever was the case...

*So... how about that photo? ;) *, I texted him, looking at our previous conversation about photos under the shower.

I got an answer pretty quickly, happy about the fact that he probably was on one of his breaks.

*About to take a shower now, but... No, no... You can take one of me during field training.*

That was more than I had expected from a mock question anyway – I doubted that it was normal to just casually take a photo of him then. However, compared to a shower photo...

Still, I grinned, feeling the need to tease. *Aw, come on, as if I’d do something kinky with it... :D*

*Yeah?.. Who knows ;)*

I blushed, pleased that he was playing along again.

Deciding to keep this little game going, I answered: *;) Yeah, true, considering who is in the photo...*

*Now, now... Cloud! ;)* I didn't know whether to blush at the fact that he was not stopping... Or at the fact that he had said my name. I wasn't sure, but I had pretty much never heard him say it before. It somehow made me feel a little closer to him...

*O_O I didn't say anything...!*, I tried to defend but chuckled, lying down with my head on my pillow. I was still in a towel only 'Have to remember to get dressed later.' Mental poke.

*Kinky with a photo of my shower? ;) Weird...*

'Silly man, he knows exactly what I mean...' I thought, typing: *O_O If I only get one of you during field training, then it doesn't matter, anyway...*

I was amazed at how quickly the General was answering right now.

*Is that not enough for you?*

'It would be, but if I have the chance to get more...' I continued my thoughts. *If I already had it right now, then maybe... Or do you mean enough for something kinky? O_O*

*But don't you have a camera in my shower for that? ;)*, he teased me.

*It stopped working =( But you can still please me with a photo right now!*
Only after hitting send, I realized how suggestive it sounded, so I quickly added: *O_O Of course not literally... Getting back to the kinky topic*

The next thing he texted made me blush furiously—and awakened... other parts of me.

Chapter Text

The next thing he texted made me blush furiously—and awakened... other parts of me.

*With a naked photo under the shower?! ;) ;)*

I nearly dropped my phone onto my lap, where I could feel heat pooling for some inexplicable reason.

Picking it back up, I fumbled to reply something. The way he'd said it so directly now did things to me...

*:p Woah, YOU are the one saying that now... *_* O_O But since you most likely won't do that, I'll also take a normal one...*

My hand hovered uncertainly before reaching down—my first intention being to loosen the towel, of course.

*If that pleasures you?! ;) ;)* Sephiroth replied shortly after. The way he had deliberately used “pleasure” instead of the “please” I had used got me really hard instantly.

I couldn’t stop myself this time. Gently, I slid the towel aside, a finger trailing over my length, savoring the sensation.

*;) Of you, absolutely...* I texted him before he could get suspicious that I was answering later than usual...

*Then a photo of the hand! ;)*, was his reply and a few seconds after, a photo of his hand arrived as his next message.

There was nothing inherently suggestive about it, but it being ungloved stirred something primal in me still. I studied the soft-looking skin, imagining its warmth as I closed my eyes. In my mind, his hand replaced my own left one that was currently stroking. I used the right one to reply: *Haha, you are great :D Do you also want a sexy hand photo?* I chuckled softly, caught between a grin and a gasp of pleasure.

When he said yes, I took one as well, careful not to show more of my body than necessary to avoid revealing what I was doing at the moment...

I sent it confidently, then took a closer look at his. Despite some little scars that were probably from fighting, his hand looked absolutely flawless. I was pretty sure that I had never looked at a hand this closely before... And now, closing my eyes again, I really felt it was his grip wrapping around me, driving me crazy...

*Thanks! ;) But no kinky stuff now ;) ;)* he replied and I chuckled lightly, between pants of pleasure... 'Too late now...'

*For that I would probably need to see more...;)* I remembered him saying that he was about to take a shower... *Are you still naked?* I sent, cheeks burning.

My eyes closed again and Sephiroth's hand was starting to move faster as my breathing quickened. I saw his body before my eyes, beside me, touching me in those ways that drove me crazy...

*Maybe... ;) ;)*

I quickly typed an answer *So how about that next photo... While you're still in the mood... ;) ;)*

'Don't know about his mood... But mine...' I panted, hand reaching to grab a tissue to place it beside me. My left hand scrolled up to read our conversation again, then to look at the photo of his hand... When I went back to imagining him lying beside me, that glorious hand pleasuring me, his lips on mine... The tension coiled tighter, and I scrambled for a tissue just as my climax surged.

The pleasure I felt was overwhelming, I fell flat on my bed to slow down my breathing again while savoring the aftermath. 'That... was incredible.' I thought, face hot still.

When I finally checked my phone, his reply had already arrived. *He he, mood? That sounds...*

*... All innocent, of course!* I typed back quickly. Tossing the tissue into the trash, I sighed in relief. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed my two minutes of absence—or worse, guessed what I’d been doing.

As I had noticed by now, he avoided saying things directly. That conversation today was as far as he would go with the hinting. It was immensely fun for me, needless to say, and I felt like he was enjoying it just as much. Or almost...

*Ha ha, innocent? More like the opposite...;) *, Sephiroth texted me and now I wanted to know.

*But it's fun, isn't it? :D* I looked at the time, it was already 6:55 pm and I was still naked. Woops.

*Ha ha, yeah... Okay, shower time now, see you!* I smiled when he agreed with me. 'Well, if he's not enjoying it, why would he play along...'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I got up, quickly getting dressed so Zack wouldn't get suspicious of me being late for once. While hastily leaving the dorms, I wrote Sephiroth: *Okay, enjoy... See you tomorrow!* and placed my phone back in my pants pocket.

When I arrived at my friend's place, I saw another man standing outside, smoking. I recognized his face as Angeal and greeted him before going inside.

Speaking of inside, it was pretty warm and loud immediately... Looking around, I saw Zack’s apartment itself was transformed. Flashing lights bathed the room in bursts of color, his kitchen somehow converted into a makeshift bar. The atmosphere was chaotic but celebratory. It also seemed like Zack had invited more people beside me. I noticed some 1st class SOLDIERS—judging by their uniforms—as well as a brown-haired guy in the back of the room, dressed in red and black.

He somehow seemed familiar but I couldn't quite sort him in...

Before I could think more, I got tackled to the ground. “Aaahh” I screamed before I noticed who it was. “Zack...”

After he was done snuggling me, he helped me up. “Sssorry, Sspike... We started a bit... Earlier...”, he slurred and I could only guess what kind of party this was going to be. The Sake was evident in his breath, but he still seemed okay. Not much different from his usual self, anyway.

“Sorry that I'm a bit late. I still had to... finish something.” I blushed, hoping he wouldn't ask further. He didn't because he was too busy trying to find me a drink.

Now I also took the time to look around again. Somehow he had gotten a disco ball from somewhere, people seemed to be having the time of their lives, and the music...

“What are we celebrating?” I questioned him, accepting the drink he was offering.

“She said yesss!”, he cheered and it took me a moment to remember.

“... The flower girl?” I asked and dodged his attempted second hug.

“Yess. She's my girl now!” Zack practically glowed with happiness, flopping onto the sofa in triumph.

I plopped down beside him. “Wow, awesome, congrats!” My mouth formed into a smile – I was truly happy for my friend. Not only that, when I remembered earlier today...

Just then, my phone dinged in my pocket. Zack gave me a curious look as if expecting me to checked it instantly.

“Who's it?” He asked me, blinking.

“Uhmm...” I was unsure what to say, but when I remembered who I was talking to... “Seph.”, I informed him, winking to make my point clear.

Zack’s eyes lit up. “Whaaat? Seriously?”

I nodded happily. “Thank you for introducing us. He’s amazing.”

Zack beamed. “I know, right!! And no problem. I'm glaaaad you two get along.”

'If only you knew...' I thought and had to suppress a comment regarding that... Instead, I went with a simple “Yeah, it's fun.”

My raven-haired friend passed me another drink. I accepted it, my gaze falling on the strange man in the corner again – this time, he was holding a book...

“By the way, who's that guy over there? I could have sworn I've seen him...” I nodded in the man's direction to not seem too suspicious.

“Hm?” Zack turned his head, then opened his mouth to speak up with a slight delay. “Ooohh! That's Gen. My pal... or for you, another instructor! Angeal should be here somewhere, assss well...”

I remembered the guy smoking outside. “Yeah, I've seen him... But if two instructors are here... Does that mean...?”

“Naahh”, Zack started before I could even get my hopes up. “Seph sadly rejected my invite... something about a shower.” He sniffled theatrically, wiping away fake tears.

A little bit of disappointment washed over me because I wouldn't get to see him tonight. On the other hand, perhaps it was better this way. After today’s... interaction, it might’ve been awkward... I wasn't even sure if he had been aware of the “impact” his texts had had on me... or what my hand had been doing.

The feeling of sudden lack of space in my pants reminded me not to think about it while out with people. I also felt myself blushing and saw Zack already giving me strange looks between sips of his drink.

“Can't stay too long tonight, got field training tomorrow...” I offered him as an excuse for my behavior. “At eight.”

“Aawwhh”, my raven haired friend cooed. “But it was nice that you came! Now let'sss have some funnn.”

He dragged me across the “dancefloor” which apparently had been his living room... anyone that would have seen us might have confused us for a gay couple. But then again, they all knew Zack...

I pretended to know what I was doing, yet failed miserably and kept stepping on Zack's poor feet.

“Haha, kayyy, it was worth a try...”, my friend chuckled and turned around to his friends calling him over. “Okay, guess I'll say bye for now. See ya tomorrow maybe, and thanks for coming!” He pulled me closer to give me a tight hug, followed by a hair ruffle.

I smiled and waved him goodbye, sliding through the mass of people that had arrived here by now.

The cold night air outside was a blessing. I took a deep breath, the chill soothing my flushed face.

From the thick air inside Zack's place, I felt a slight headache approaching. Rubbing my forehead, I made my way back to my dorm.

The cold breeze also helped against my flushing cheeks at the thought what Sephiroth and I had been doing earlier. Now that nobody was around I could let my thoughts flow freely and think back to what he had done or made me do – whether intended or not – it had still been amazing.

Now, on the way home, the thought of him being aware that I did “it” kept my head busy, as well as probably beet red. I had no idea whether to drop any hints tomorrow at the field training, like “I'm feeling so relaxed since yesterday” or “Thanks for the talk and...”... whatever I would say, it'd probably end awkwardly as hell, so I decided on shutting my little mouth until he would mention it. The uncertainty of him thinking I was just joking with him or serious still bothered me, though.

After opening the door, I took off my clothes that smelled like smoke first. Looking at the clock, I decided to save a shower for the morning.

Since I already had to get up early, I thought that it would be the best to not read our conversation again... although I couldn't help but peek into our messages to check if this was reality.

I blushed. 'Yes, it is...' I thought and sighed happily, phone dropping onto my face, before I rolled onto my side and fell into a peaceful slumber.

Chapter Text

I woke up at seven sharp, my alarm dragging me from dreams that were far too close to reality for comfort. Sephiroth’s presence lingered in my mind—his smirk, his voice, the weight of his hand on my shoulder. Shaking off the vivid memories, I shuffled to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

As the water cascaded over me, I couldn't stop thinking about the texts from last night. The tone, the teasing—it was a side of Sephiroth I'd never seen before, and I couldn't help but check my phone again, toothbrush in hand, just to confirm it wasn’t some elaborate dream. But there they were: the playful words, the subtle flirting. It felt surreal, like stepping into a different world, one where Sephiroth wasn’t the untouchable General but someone… closer.

By the time I was dressed and ready for Field Training, my thoughts were swirling with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Would he act differently today? More relaxed, perhaps? Flirtatious? Probably not in public, I reminded myself, but the idea stayed with me as I made my way to the training hall.

On his phone, more specifically in his texts, he almost seemed like a different person. I knew that it was him, though, and not someone making fun of me—at least I was pretty sure of that. Maybe there would be a way to test that today?

'I mean, that sounds pretty weird... but him acting differently is weird, too...' Now I would only have to think of something on the way to the training hall. I got an idea I was pretty content with when the bus almost arrived. After getting dressed, I rushed into the usual training area.

When I entered, my heart skipped a beat. Sephiroth was waiting just inside the door, his imposing figure as polished as ever. His silver hair shimmered under the lights, and when he turned to face me, a small smirk tugged at his lips.

His hands being free and arms slightly twitching upwards was enough of a sign for me that I could come in and hug him. He hugged back as much as a man like him would do with anyone else—which was still enough for me—and mumbled a “Hey” while I just smiled widely. For a moment, everything else faded, and I let myself enjoy the rare closeness.

“Hey!”, I returned when he pulled away and took out his timetable.

The professional mask slid back into place. “Looks like this will be our last basic Field Training together—if you pass your Second Rank exam in two weeks, that is... but I have faith in you.” His gaze was turned towards the little booklet, eyes browsing through assignments most likely.

“Wait, our last? Oh yeah, you are leaving on Monday...”, I frowned a little, not really being happy with the fact that I wouldn't be seeing him for up to around two weeks or more. That timeframe seemed like an eternity...

He noticed my reaction and added, “Heads up, SOLDIER. I’ll be back before you know it. The 2nd Class Field Trainings are more challenging, but also more rewarding. I think you’ll enjoy them.”

I nodded, trying to suppress my disappointment, but also already looking forward to his return. “Do you think you’ll have time to text while you’re away?” I asked, the words tumbling out before I could reconsider. 'Well, that is one way to hint at our texting...'

Sephiroth glanced at the phone sitting on a nearby table, then back at me. “I can’t promise anything,” he said, his tone measured. “But you’ll be the first to know if I have a moment.” He offered a faint smile, one that sent heat rushing to my cheeks. I quickly averted my gaze, pretending to adjust my gear.

“Instead of progressing, we will do a mixed repetition of the Field Trainings you've had before today, so just see it as some kind of practice. They will be a bit different next Rank, anyway,” he explained, walking to his usual observing position.

“Different? Can we still repeat old lessons if needed, though?” I wondered, one finger under my chin.

Sephiroth turned towards me once more. “Of course we can, though this Rank is just there to learn the basics. Second Rank is a bit more of a 'learning by doing'-situation that will teach you in a more natural and realistic manner.”

Hearing that had me nodding eagerly. Either way, I was excited for what was to come, but also comforted that we could backtrack if necessary.

The training itself was uneventful, the General behaved as usual and I held myself back with flirting like we did in our SMS. I had yet to find a way to make him act like that in person as well... but out here, there could be eyes everywhere and neither of us two would likely fancy getting caught. Him because he had a girlfriend, a successful career and a reputation to lose, me... because people would probably claim I'd want to ruin his life by “forcing” him to start something with me... or who knows what else, I honestly didn't wanna think about it. 'Not even sure how anyone here would react to me or him being gay... or bi, for that matter.'

I concluded that the best for now was going with the flow, wherever it took me, as long as it was forward... I'd be fine. And happy.

When Sephiroth's next student arrived a few minutes too early, we skipped our parting ceremony and I was glad that we had hugged in the beginning. Everyone here and in the city, the country, if not even almost the whole world knew him, but I only knew of two—or most likely three—who ever had the honor to embrace him regularly. Possibly his two colleagues as well, but I barely ever saw them together since I did not spend that much time near the classrooms and training halls.

Nevertheless, I wished him a nice trip in case I wouldn't see him until his departure on Monday, as well as promised him I'd study hard for the theoretical exam a week later.

On the walk back to my dorm, I bumped into Zack, who greeted me with his usual energy. “Movie night tomorrow?” he suggested, already grinning.

“Sure,” I agreed, knowing it would inevitably turn into a sleepover. Once I got back to my room, I packed a small bag for the occasion and settled down to study for the Second Class exam.

The thought of Sephiroth’s encouragement played on repeat in my mind. “I have faith in you.” His words had been simple, but they carried a weight that made me want to prove myself even more. If he believed in me, then I had no excuse not to succeed.

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I couldn’t help but scroll through our messages one more time. The playful tone, the teasing hints—it all felt so personal, so unlike the distant General I’d known before. Smiling to myself, I set the phone on my nightstand and closed my eyes. Whatever the future held, I was ready to face it.

Chapter Text

Sunday was the first day I truly realized I’d be without the General for a while. Physically, at least. Most of our “relationship” had taken place over the phone, so I wasn’t devastated—but I still couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be with him. To assist him in battle as best as I could. Not that I’d be much help as a Third Class, but that would change soon. Second Class was my top priority.

Leaning back in my chair, I closed my eyes and set my books aside on the desk. 'On a mission with him... We could probably share the same tent or a hotel room... with me as his bodyguard, of course...' I blushed at the thought and couldn’t deny where my mind was going. 'Maybe we’d get lost in a forest or the mountains, forced to spend days together… and grow closer in the process...'

The memory of training alone in the forest south of the city came to me. What would it be like if he were there with me? Cold nights, maybe rain… I’d pretend to be freezing and somehow end up in his arms… without any explanation…

'Okay, stop.' I blamed the relaxing music on the radio for making my head fuzzy. But the daydream was intoxicating. I gently pushed against the floor with my foot, causing my chair to swivel slightly, and let myself linger on the warmth of his embrace. His flirty texts still played on my mind. 'Does he do this with anyone else?' He didn’t seem like the type, but in person, he was much more reserved. We’d never had the chance to be completely alone, and even the one hug we’d shared outside that night felt like it could’ve been witnessed by some sleepless bystander. 'Okay, now I'm starting to get paranoid...'

I wasn’t ready to cross “in-person flirting” off my mental list just yet. His hints in texts were becoming bolder, and I felt my face heat up just thinking about them. 'Maybe I should reread our messages? No, I need to study.' I shook my head hard and sighed, leaning forward over my desk. My expression must’ve resembled a confused puppy. 'What is this man doing to me?'

Later, as I prepared to head to Zack’s movie night, I noticed a line of buses outside heading toward the main building. 'That must be Sephiroth’s transportation for tomorrow.' Shrugging on a light jacket, I called Kunsel’s room to remind him I was leaving. He'd been invited as well but declined, opting to study for the same exam I’d be taking. A responsible choice, but I wanted one last evening of fun before the stress set in.

To my surprise, I only counted six people in Zack's apartment, including himself and me. The fact that it was Sunday night probably added its part to it, as some classes would have their exams tomorrow already and not in a week like mine. I guessed that that was some anti-cheating thing, giving different classes different papers on different days so they couldn't tell each other the solutions. Not like 50 questions weren't foolproof enough...

Back to the people present: the small group included Zack, Angeal, Genesis, a girl named Cissnei, and Tseng, leader of the Turks. Despite the businesslike circle they formed around the dining table, the snacks and party games gave the atmosphere a casual vibe. I relaxed as everyone greeted me warmly, and I settled on the couch beside Zack.

My raven-haired friend offered me coke and fruit skewers, telling Angeal to bring the movies so they could decide which one to watch. I pretty much didn't care what genre or movie and Zack knew that I was open minded concerning that matter. In the end, he only owned Blu-Rays of blockbusters, so we would be spared from horrifying B-movies or... Orcanado—Although I'd always wanted to watch that one for the giggles...

Everyone agreed on a random action movie that most likely everyone beside the picker had already watched at least three times, and it wasn't until half into the movie that Zack noticed someone was missing.

“Wait! Seph still not here?!” He almost jumped off the couch, pulling half of the blanket we were sitting on with him.

It took me a few seconds to note the name he had mentioned and for the first time, the thought of the General missing between all these other instructors crossed my mind. My eyes wandered through our group, light being sort of dimmed for the movie's sake – but indeed, the General was missing. “Still”, apparently.

When I noticed that the only free seat was next to Zack and me on the couch – Zack, particularly – my heart almost skipped a beat. If he would sit somewhere, it would have to be here, next to me... now I only had to teach that Zack without actually talking. The first step was pretending to yawn, moving a little closer to him to edge him aside a bit. His currently half standing position – hands violently typing into his phone – made this task easier for now without letting my buddy assume that I just wanted to get closer to him. When he least expected it, I moved towards him with a big jolt, effectively shoving him to the right until he hit the armrest, butt landing back on the couch. When I glanced to my left, I saw that my plan had worked, and Zack hadn't even noticed his change of position. Victory was written all over my face.

“Why is he not answering? What is he doing?”, he grumbled, moving phone aside again.

The group speculated that Sephiroth might still be packing, though I secretly hoped he’d show up. Movie nights like these were a rare chance to connect with people outside my usual circle. I’d already learned tidbits about Zack’s colleagues, like Cissnei being a Turk he had met during a mission, and Genesis being another LOVELESS fanatic. Now I felt bad for Kunsel skipping this occasion, as this instructor also couldn't stop mentioning LOVELESS here and there and that he was a big fan, if not even a bigger one than my roommate. 'I have to tell him what he missed when I get back...', I chuckled to myself.

The only one who wouldn't talk that much was Angeal, of whom I only knew as much as that he had been Zack's instructor, and that the two seemed pretty close, even without many words. The glances they shared alone told a story of loyalty and trust between the two men—something many would envy them for surely.

I was curious if, when Sephiroth showed up, they'd help making him spill out some more about his person as well. After all, I still knew very little about him... beside the obvious facts – so nothing personal. Okay, he liked Zack. His colleagues. And me... He liked flirting in SMS but not in person, he liked driving me insane with his hinting at things but never openly saying them...

I didn't notice that I had apparently closed my eyes in a sort of pained expression until Zack asked me if I needed a headache pill. I shook my head, “No, just a bit anxious about the theoretical exam next week,” offering him a smile, sideways glancing at the other instructors.

My raven-haired friend then chose to pat my head, exclaiming “Isn't he cute! Ya got nothing to worry about, Spike. I know you spend enough time studying.”

A bit embarrassed, I offered the others a coy smile and pretended to grab my drink.

“Let's continue, he will come sooner or later,” Tseng said calmly, moving one of his legs over the other. I still couldn't help feeling a bit weird around all my superiors, but that's what I got for being Zack's friend. Not that I minded that part... Without him, I would probably sit at home all day, not knowing what to do with myself. I also would have never hugged the General, and we possibly wouldn't even talk, well... write the way we did. I really didn't wanna imagine my life without either now...

After the first movie, we took a smoke break, at least for some. Cissnei stayed to find out more about Zack's girlfriend, and asked why he hadn't invited her over today. “She had to do some charity work the whole day and was exhausted, but I will try for next time,” he sighed happily, smiling. His red-haired friend giggled and asked him to describe her.

‘Love really makes people go crazy,’ I thought, leaning forward to set my glass back on the table. My hand stopped short when the glass bumped into something unexpected. Curious, I leaned in to take a closer look.

Purple dice?

My brows furrowed as I picked one up with my free hand, turning it over to read the words etched on its sides. “Lick,” one side said. My confusion deepened as I rotated it, revealing others: “Touch,” “Kiss.” The implications hit me like a freight train, and I nearly dropped the thing.

A glance at the second die on the table didn’t help. Its visible faces read “Lips” and, to my dismay, “Nipple.”

I was about to scream “What the hell!” before I noticed the smokers entering the room again, and the thought of me mentioning this “game” now probably would not end pleasantly for me. Knowing Zack, he would possibly suggest that we played it... And alone the possibility was nothing I wanted to let happen. 'Don't want to end up a little too close for comfort to the Turk's leader, or Angeal... or their nipples.' Shudders. As soon as said instructor's gaze fell upon my hand that was still holding the one dice, my eyes widened and I moved into my pants pocket with cat-like speed.

“Erm, could you pass me the peanut flips...” I reached out for a snack to distract him, fortunately it worked.

Zack and Cissnei, meanwhile, seemed to have wrapped up their lovebird conversation, thanks in part to Angeal. “Am I glad Sephiroth isn’t like that with his girl,” Zack joked, earning a laugh from the room. “Who knows what the CdS mission would be like then? After all, she’s joining as a medic...”

My mood darkened as much as the room when the lights were dimmed again. 'She is going to be there? And she's a medic? Then she could be around him all the time...' I frowned. Yes, that would explain why he probably wouldn't be able to text. Aside from all the battling and saving the world. Okay, I had to stop with the sarcasm... I already felt as if she was my rival, even though I didn't have the right to. This man was not mine... yet. I smirked, not willing to give up. If I had his sexy messages, then there probably wasn't much going on between the two anymore. That or the possibility of him just being a secret flirter with everyone. I had yet to find that out...

“Well, she lives there,” Genesis interjected casually, sipping his soda. “Her parents own the hospital, but also the biggest hotel in the city.”

A hotel? Great. My imagination kicked into overdrive, weighing the possibilities. Would they be camping outside, stationed in barracks, or staying in her family’s hotel? ShinRa was notoriously tight-lipped about these things, leaving me with endless speculation and zero answers. I didn't even know whether it was a business related mission with the possibility of escalation – or a siege, or... anything. The possibilities were endless.

By the time we were halfway through the second movie, my hope of Sephiroth showing up was dwindling with each passing minute. The clock read past 11 pm. Disappointment sank in, though I tried to reason with myself. He probably had an early morning tomorrow.

Still, I couldn’t help but cast glances toward the door, the window, the dark street outside. The idea of him sitting next to me, our legs brushing subtly, was too enticing to ignore. Even catching a glimpse of him before his big trip would be enough. But I didn’t want to seem clingy. ‘I can handle this,’ I told myself firmly. ‘I’ll study. I’ll keep busy. I’ll be fine.’

Easier said than done.

When this movie was near its end, I noticed that I had to consider myself satisfied with Zack leaning onto me instead of my General. 'Not the same thing. Definitely not the same thing...'

As the credits rolled on the movie, it was past 1 am. Guests began trickling out, including the instructors, who had class the next day. No one escaped Zack’s enthusiastic farewell hugs—except me, of course. I was staying, as usual.

I tossed my bag into the guest room, changed into something comfortable, and prepared to crash for the night. Before I could escape, Zack ambushed me with a bone-crushing goodnight hug.

‘Not the hug I wanted,’ I thought ruefully, wishing him sweet dreams before slipping under the covers.

Little did I know, the tiny dice still in my pocket would grant me some rather vivid dreams that night...

Chapter Text

The doorbell made me jerk my head upwards faster than anything else could have done.

Sephiroth, I knew it was him. So he was still coming, after all... At 1 am it indeed was a surprise, Tseng and Cissnei had already left to attend an early meeting the next day.

I glanced toward the door. Sure enough, there he was. Zack greeted him first, pulling him into a quick hug. I held myself back, keeping the spot on the sofa beside me open. As I’d hoped, Sephiroth took the seat, a smirk tugging at his lips as he greeted everyone in the room. My heart swelled when I saw Zack pour him a drink.

It wasn’t long before Sephiroth’s sharp eyes landed on the dice scattered across the table.

“What kind of game is this?” he asked, directing his question to Zack.

Zack just grinned. “A fun one.”

Genesis was the first to bite. “Let’s play, then.” He picked up the dice, shaking them in his hand before tossing them onto the table. My stomach clenched when my mind flashed to the more risqué combinations I’d seen earlier—“lick” and “nipple” coming to mind unbidden.

When the dice settled, they read: “Tickle” and “Ears.” I let out a quiet breath of relief. This wasn’t going to be too bad, right?

Genesis raised a brow. “And now?”

“You have to do what the dice says to the person on your right. So... to me.” The General’s voice spoke up calmly, earning everyone’s stares.

Genesis shrugged and leaned in to tickle Sephiroth's ear. His reaction was rolling eyes as he took the dice himself now.

I felt my heart beating faster as the two objects hit the table, eager to see what they would read. “Rub.....”, he started, but Zack finished for him. “Nipple!”, my friend beamed.

My eyes widened in embarrassment. “Uhm, we don't have to...”, I offered, not wanting to make the silver-haired man feel uncomfortable.

“That's the rules,” Zack smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. I suddenly felt a hand on my waist. 'Uh-oh...'

Before I could process what was happening, the hand slipped further up. Slender fingers moved beneath my shirt, and I jumped at the sudden contact. Turning my head, I found Sephiroth’s half-lidded gaze fixed intently on me.

His touch was slow, deliberate, as if searching for something specific. When his fingers brushed over the sensitive skin of my chest, I tensed, letting out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak. The room erupted into muffled laughter. Zack even gave me a thumbs up, which only made my face burn hotter.

Sephiroth’s fingers lingered, moving lightly over the sensitive spot, his expression unwavering. I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to think of anything other than what was happening. 'Puppies... Kittens... Brownies... Hot chocolate...' Anything to keep the situation from escalating further.

The innocent thoughts barely managed to save me from more embarrassment and I was relieved when Gen mentioned that it was enough. Now it was my turn... I gulped, hoping not to have to do a too weird thing to Zack. He was a nice, good looking guy, that was for sure... so “Kiss” and “Hand” saved me there.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Zack, ever the showman, held his hand up with an exaggerated giggle, playing the part of a blushing princess. Rolling my eyes, I took his hand and brushed a quick kiss across the back of it. Zack’s wink did nothing to rattle me. At least it was his turn now.

Since him and Angeal, who was sitting on his right, seemed to be pretty close, I didn't think that anything the dice would offer could be too awkward for them. They had known each other for years, apparently, even years before I met my 1st Class friend. 'At least it's less weird to kiss your friend than it is to kiss a stranger...'

… and talking about kissing, the dice told him to lick Angeal's neck. Okay. I wasn't sure whether to stare the way I did at them when Zack moved his smirking head closer to the instructor's neck – probably because I expected him to add some kind of joke, like a vampire's bite – but when he pressed his lips to the other man's skin, tongue moving slowly and almost lovingly, I had to blink quite a few times. Angeal's reaction was some sort of low moan, one that made me feel like a pervert watching the two.

The two of them pulled back at the same time, their laughter filling the room as the rest of us stared in stunned silence. My face met my palm. They were way too obvious.

Somewhere between Angeal having to tickle Genesis' chest and Genesis having to rub Sephiroth's ear, I noticed that nobody really had to kiss anyone yet. I felt my heart beat faster when I wished for Sephiroth to roll the dice to “Kiss”...

“What's it with you and ears?”, Zack chuckled and Gen gave him a defeated shrug.

Now it was my turn... Well, half. The silver-haired man took the dice, deciding to roll one first. He cast me a sideways smirk while leaning forward, reading out the first word. “Massage”

A small frown crept up, doubting that a massage could come near to anything like a kiss. Unless the dice had a side with “Privates”... I blushed, then looked up in surprise when the General's body was facing mine directly all of sudden.

“Uh?” I made a noise of surprise, giving him a questioning look, before hearing Zack whisper: “Tongue...”

“What?”, I gasped, watching Sephiroth raise one hand from the corner of my eye.

“Massage... a tongue? But how does one ma—” I was cut off abruptly by two warm lips on my own. I sucked in a breath through my nose, eyes widening. Apparently, my lips had parted in surprise as well, because something soft and slippery made its way into my mouth. Since my brain couldn't quite realize what was going on, my body started working on autopilot, beginning by closing my eyes. The next thing was reacting to his tongue, and offering him mine seemed to be the solution, since the grip on the hem of my shirt loosened. When I had read “massage”, I would have thought of maybe using a finger, but... the warm tongue brushing over mine was more satisfying than anything else I could have imagined.

What I did notice was that the General knew exactly what he was doing. 'Okay, he is older than me... so he's obviously more experienced...', I tried to convince myself that I wasn't the problem just because I was completely new to this. The hand I had mistakenly accused of being in charge of the tongue massage had found its way onto my cheek, making me melt into the kiss even more. The world around us faded away. Right now I didn't care about the cheering in the background or the obvious bulge in my pants, I was in a state of pure bliss, one that I never wanted to stop...

... and, like all good things, it did, but this time because of my blaring alarm clock. One sentence came to my mind: “Fuck. Me,” I groaned, getting up from Zack's guestroom bed and right to the bathroom, before he or anyone could see me in my current state. The mirror confirmed even fuzzier hair than usual, red, puffy cheeks and... well, time for a cold shower.

The fact that it had only been a dream again made me sad, but even in that dream my feelings had been pretty intense. I really had to catch him in private some time, or at least with Zack... I really didn't know what he would be like then.

After the shower, I woke up Zack and we prepared some quick breakfast together. Since Sephiroth was out, Zack had more papers to do than usual, so before going to work, I at least wanted to spend some more quality time with him.

Before I went back to studying specifically... 'I wonder what he is doing right now... Still on the bus, I guess...' The journey there would be quite some hours and I didn't really expect him to message me so early already... if he did at all. I was a hundred percent positive that I would not survive without him for a long time, as dramatic as that sounded. Zack was really starting to rub off on me...

The next days passed painfully slowly, I voluntarily attended some of Angeal's and Genesis' classes to feel more secure about my examination as well as to pass some time. Zack was very busy, as expected, but Kunsel would have the same exam as me, so we studied together sometimes. Keeping my mind off my busy General was the only thing I could do for the moment, so that's what I did.

But no matter how much I tried to keep myself occupied, my thoughts always drifted back to him.

Sephiroth.

Chapter Text

It had only been a few days since Sephiroth’s mission in Costa del Sol had started, and I was missing him more with each passing day.

My thoughts were circling around that fact and the question whether he thought about me too, every now and then. Since he was there with his girlfriend, I assumed that he probably wasn't...

Over the past two days, I’d tried to fish for information about Sephiroth and her from Zack, though I was careful not to sound too suspicious. Unfortunately, Zack had been too swamped with paperwork to be much help.

Still, I managed to learn something. Zack mentioned a phone call Sephiroth'd had with her and referred to their conversation as “other means of stress Sephiroth was experiencing besides the negotiations and fighting.” That comment gave me hope. It was selfish, sure, but the idea of their relationship being less than perfect was enough to overshadow my guilt about wishing they’d break up. I wanted Sephiroth too much to let guilt stop me.

That evening, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled out my phone and sent him a message.

*Remember that you told class you would take photos :)*

While waiting for a reply, I started preparing dinner—scrambled eggs and spinach, taking both ingredients out of the fridge.

*Hmm, you mean from the beach? Or the battles? ;)*

I grinned. 'You at the beach...' I answered mentally but chose to give a subtle hint first. *Didn't you mention in class that it was a nudist beach? *_* *

Obviously, I was hoping that he would catch my hint as usual. I cracked the eggs open skillfully – my mother had taught me – and placed the still half-frozen spinach into a pot.

Bzz bzz. *Yeah, of course... I will send you a photo of the old ladies and gents!*

I cringed but chuckled nevertheless. *Eww! … Then I’d rather take one of you, if I must... ;) *_* *

*Yeaa... Of necessity. And, of course naked! :P*, he answered me and my grin became wider.

I stirred my food briefly and then replied: *If you are already offering me that, I’ll graciously accept out of respect... Looking forward to it ;) ;)* At least he hadn't forgotten about doing this with me... I was glad.

*Wow, what a burden you are willing to take on... unbelievable! ;)*, was his reply.

That made me chuckle even more. It was easy to lose myself in his playful texts, forgetting everything else. The conversation reminded me of another dream I’d had recently. I hesitated, then decided to share.

I blushed a little, thinking back. It had just been one of these 'I only remember 2 minutes of it after waking up' dreams, but I certainly did remember one thing... *...which reminds me, I dreamed we were at the beach together...*

His response was immediate. *Really, is that so? Tell me more...*

Now, there I had his curiosity but didn't know what to do with it, since it was a tiny bit personal... 'How to explain...'...

*Well, I don't remember much... other than us walking along it... then we stopped at a cliff, looking into the sunset... then at each other...* my cheeks burned as I typed the next part, unsure whether to go on. *... and then we sort of leaned in...*

I had to find a way to become less tense, therefore I added a cheeky *Well, let's say, at least in a dream you are a damn good kisser ;) *_* *

Dinner was ready, and I plated my food, but the silence that followed my text made me feel anxious. Was it too much? Maybe he was busy.

Ten minutes later, my phone buzzed again. *Well, at least that ;)*

Relief and excitement washed over me. I couldn’t believe we were talking like this. It felt surreal, but also unbelievably good to message with him again, it had really been too long for my taste...

'I never would have thought I’d be texting Sephiroth about dreams, let alone one where we kissed...'

But as much as I enjoyed our banter, doubts began creeping in. Was I the only one he flirted with like this? Did he do the same with others—students, colleagues, anyone? The thought gnawed at me, stealing some of the joy from our conversation.

Lying in bed later, I couldn’t shake the feeling. Finally, I gave in and sent another message.

*By the way... do you get these compliments a lot?*

I worded it carefully, avoiding anything that might sound accusatory. If I asked outright whether he flirted with others, he’d probably shut down, which was counterproductive. I did want an answer, after all…

He actually did not take long to answer. *No... even though some people may suggest otherwise...*

Since I had asked it in a flirty context, I immediately felt relief when reading that. If he had been entertaining others like this, he probably would have dodged the question or given a different kind of answer. But this was clear—reassuring in a way I hadn’t realized I needed.

*No, I wouldn't have thought that, anyway!*

Of course, I couldn’t admit that I had been worried about it occasionally ever since we started texting this way. Though, when I thought about it more, I realized he really didn’t seem like the type of person to do that. 'So it's just me he does this with...'

I felt my face heat up.

Then again, had his reply even been about that?

If he’d taken it to mean compliments from students in general, then curiosity started to mix in with my relief.

In that context, I was actually surprised by his answer. Who wouldn’t compliment this man in some way? Sure, there was the usual, “Wow, you did great in that Wutai War” or “Your sword techniques are so inspiring!”
Between his prowess in battle and his commanding presence, he seemed like someone who would receive admiration constantly. At least, as for me… I had a whole list of things I could compliment him on.

Maybe people were too intimidated to compliment him on anything beyond his battlefield achievements. I wouldn’t blame them—his presence alone could make even the boldest hesitate.

Still, the idea of people holding back their praise amused me. Did they not realize there was so much more to admire?

*Thank god!*

His response was short, almost playful, but it made my heart stutter.

That felt like a good note to end on. I set my phone aside and closed my eyes, trying to focus on the exam I had tomorrow.

But even as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t help thinking about him—his words, his teasing tone, and the way he made me feel like the most special person in the world.

Chapter Text

I was stressing way too much. Ridiculously so. But as the exam started, I realized I could answer most of the questions immediately.

The desks were neatly arranged, with proctors stationed at each side of the room, their stern gazes scanning for cheaters. I wasn’t going to cheat, of course, but their watchful eyes made me uncomfortable all the same.

Since this was the first available date for the test, not many people had shown up. I wanted to pass as soon as possible, though, so here I was—and to my surprise, it wasn’t as hard as I’d feared. Unlike the one for 1st Class with 150 questions, this one only had 50: a mix of multiple-choice and calculations. Challenging enough for the 2nd Class exam, but nothing overwhelming.

As I worked through the test, I couldn’t help but wonder how much harder the 1st Class would be, especially with its practical components included.

A few questions stumped me, and I had to guess, hoping for the best. When I finished, I handed in my paper, grabbed my bag, and headed for the door. The results would be emailed in a few hours, but I already felt a familiar, nagging anxiety settling in.

Kunsel caught my eye as I passed his desk. He got up and followed me out.

“How’d you do?” he asked, grinning when he saw my expression.

“Not too bad. I wasn’t sure about a few questions, but overall, I think I did fine.” I swung my bag over my shoulder and started walking toward the dorms.

“Wanna grab a coffee? My treat.”

“Oh?” I paused mid-step and turned to face him. “So confident?”

Kunsel scratched the back of his neck, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “Actually, I think I didn’t have enough Field Training. There were quite a few questions I couldn’t answer just from book knowledge.”

“Aw... Don’t worry. I’m sure you did well!” I said, trying to cheer him up. But I caught the disappointment in his eyes. True, I had never really noticed him going to more than two FTs, but I assumed that the side knowledge the instructors gave us would be in the studying material as well. Or that was just me, who was always paying super much attention in my classes with the General in order to impress him.

Kunsel shook his head and stopped walking.

“My treat, then. Let’s go to the cafeteria,” I offered. That finally earned another smile from him.

We grabbed fresh coffee—Kunsel black and me a vanilla Latte—and sat by the window. I did my best to convince him he hadn’t done badly and reminded him that if he needed to, he could always improve with more Field Trainings and then take one of the upcoming tests.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right...” he murmured, staring out the window.

Outside, most of the leaves had already fallen from the trees. The sun still shone brightly, offering a bit of warmth before the long, cold winter. Midgar’s winters weren’t nearly as harsh as Nibelheim’s, so I wasn’t too worried. Growing up in rough conditions had toughened me up, and I rarely got sick. Back home, though, visitors often fell ill after just a few days in the cold.

The weather in Midgar wasn’t the real challenge—it was the air pollution. What would have been clouds back home were thick plumes of smoke here. ShinRa Corp tried to compensate by planting trees between the buildings, but the sky’s grayish hue and the lack of stars during some nights couldn’t be hidden. Even the trees seemed less vibrant.

Still, I wasn’t going to complain. This was the life I had chosen.

“I wonder if they’ll manage to get those Wutaians to leave Costa del Sol...” Kunsel muttered, almost to himself.

I blinked. “Huh?”

He glanced around nervously, as though he’d said too much. “Oh, uh... yeah, I heard something about that. Why?”

“I didn’t know what the mission was about. I was just curious because my Se—my instructor is leading it.” I scratched the back of my neck. ‘I really need to stop calling him mine in my head... even if I wish he was.’

“Ah, okay. Well, all I know is they’re trying to negotiate first, then use force if necessary... but you didn’t hear that from me.” His eyes darted around the room, scanning for eavesdroppers.

I frowned. “Is it really that secret? Why are you so jumpy?”

“Just worried our guys might get into trouble, that’s all,” he said, slurping the rest of his coffee loudly. “Anyway, I’ll head to the library. See you later—and thanks!”

I watched him leave, puzzled by his sudden nervousness. Kunsel was always full of secrets, but I figured it wasn’t my place to press him. Maybe he knew more than he was letting on—or maybe he had someone special among the troops, too.

On my way back to the dorm, I remembered the exam and hurried to check my computer. No email yet.

After a moment of hesitation, I grabbed my phone and sent a message to Sephiroth.

*Hey =) Had exam today...*

This time, his reply took longer than usual—a few hours, in fact. Maybe he was busy, which was understandable in his situation.

*Hey. I know, how was it? Greetings, Sephiroth*

I rolled my eyes at the formal ending. Would he ever stop doing that? Probably not. Still, as long as he kept talking to me like this, I wasn’t going to complain.

*Don't have a bad feeling, but the results are not out yet. Waiting for them to arrive.*

A few minutes later, his response came through: *Okay, then I wish you the best of luck!*

I smiled, answering politely: *Thanks! Am I bugging you?*

Somehow I felt the need to enquire about that, especially concerning his current trip.

*No, or I simply wouldn't answer. We just got back, time for a shower now... :) *

I sighed, debating whether to ask what exactly they were doing on their mission. My curiosity was burning, especially after what Kunsel had hinted at, but I held back. Serious stuff like that wasn’t my business yet—at least not until I climbed the ranks. Passing this exam would be one step closer to that, though.

*Yeah, you are right... O_O photo?*, I typed, teasing, hoping to draw a playful reaction out of him.

As usual, he joked back first. *Of the shower? ;) *

I couldn't hold back a big grin. *With you inside? ;) As far as I'm concerned, dressed as well :D :P*

Honestly, any photo of him would suffice. One taken specifically for me—or because of me—would be even better. All I had now were impersonal shots from newspapers and magazines, a ShinRa recruit catalog, and... the photo of his hand.

Then he sent something that completely threw me off.

*Ha ha... or naked and the whole body...*

My face heated instantly. 'Bad Cloud... Don't imagine it... don't...', I thought and kept refreshing my emails to distract myself. He wasn't going to make me all excited now... The violent beating of my heart however told me something different. Was... was that an offer?

*O_O If you insist on it, it'd be bad of me to decline...*_* * Okay, that was the most composed response I could manage, considering my huge crush. I obviously couldn't just write "YESSS *drool face*" or something like that. I had to chuckle at that thought...

He added: *... and some things in close-up view? ;)* Curse him and his sexiness. He knew exactly what I wanted, before even I knew that I wanted it. Not that I only wanted to see that, honestly, I was very humble concerning this matter. However, I was glad that he was treating me as an adult—and not like a student—by offering me such a reply...

In our talks, he played with me as much as I played with him... although, my red-hot face subtly let me know that he was prevailing.

*O_O O_O *_* *_* nosebleeding?!?* was the simplest thing I could answer to that without getting too personal. It was not a “yes”, I didn't want him to win and possibly put an end to this yet...

*Did you bump into something?*, he asked me and I wondered how he didn't know that expression widely used in Animes, TV shows, etc... okay, maybe he was too 'old' to know such things or simply took no interest in them.

*No... you get that when your head gets too hot from sexy thoughts :D :P ;) *_* *, I explained him truthfully. 'Better don't mention Anime or he will try to change the topic...'

*Now, now... what were you thinking of? ;)*

'Uh oh, think of something...' I pondered what I should say, since writing “Was looking at your photos from the ShinRa magazine and then imagine you without clothes on instead” could put me in the wrong light... and the only photo he knew I owned...

*O_O Well... your sexy hand of course ;) Haha... and your face ;) all innocent* seemed suited enough, I added the “face” part to to avoid sounding like I had some kind of weird hand fetish... The truth was, I had a weird Sephiroth fetish, but he didn't need to know that.

The sound of keys in the lock snapped me out of my thoughts. Kunsel was back.

“Hey,” I greeted him briefly, still distracted by the message that had just come through.

*I see, then it's not so bad... ;)* I read before my roommate came up to me, looking over my shoulder. “Hey, what are you up to?”

I semi-turned on my chair, looking back at him. “Texting and waiting for the results.” I pointed at my email inbox, still empty. It was already evening, so it couldn't take long anymore.

“Oh, right!”, his voice came from behind me. “I'll do the same, let me know later!”, he called, disappearing into his room, leaving me alone again.

I stared at my phone, thankful for my little distraction. Talking to Sephiroth always seemed to make time stand still for me, even as it flew by faster than ever. That reminded me that I still had to answer him, or think of a tease.

*;) or did you mean something else?*

Of course he wouldn't have meant his hand—if he was being serious—which I doubted, knowing him that much.

*Don't know what you wanted to see... but I would not have thought of sexy hands! ;) ;)*

I smiled broadly. 'All of you. Every day. Or at least right now...'

His text made me chuckle softly, so I replied concerning the hands comment: *:P Well, depends on the owner ;)*

*He he, then I'll take that as a compliment... ;) Okay, really have to go now.* Sephiroth's reply was sweet and made me smile again, feeling both giddy and also slightly disappointed that our conversation had ended.

I replied with *See you later =)* and refreshed my inbox one last time after I noticed my stomach growling.

“Ding” was the magical sound I had been waiting for...

Chapter Text

The email had arrived.

Subject: "Your 3rd Class Examination Results."

It was from ShinRa Head Office—formal and intimidating.

I hesitated, my cursor hovering over the message. If I hadn’t passed, I’d be stuck repeating my 3rd Class training for another six weeks. The thought made my stomach churn. But there was no way around it—I had to know.

With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and clicked.

I peeked through one eye. The first words I saw were:

"...we are glad to inform you that..."

Relief surged through me. My eyes darted to the score: 96 out of 100.

Almost perfect.

I exhaled a long sigh, tension draining from my shoulders. I’d done it. A tiny bit lucky, too, since we were only allowed to miss seven points.

Still, I couldn’t celebrate too loudly. Kunsel hadn’t mentioned his results yet, and I didn’t want to rub it in if he hadn’t passed. He’d told me it wouldn’t bother him, though—he didn’t feel ready for fieldwork yet. I hoped he was right.

A lot of things would change for me now. One of them was moving out to the 2nd Class dorms. The flats were still shared with one other person but larger, with personal computers and even internet access. 3rd Class had just one small TV; in 2nd Class, there was a bigger one per bedroom. Also, one bathroom per person. Not that I spent ridiculous amounts of time in there, anyway.

I did take a little longer getting ready for Field Training lately, but that was just to avoid smelling sweaty after a few minutes. A shower before and if needed after FT did the job just fine. And… maybe I spent a little more time on my hair, too.

'Since he likes it...'

I wasn’t sure if I should tell Kunsel yet. His light was off, so either he wasn’t checking his email—or didn’t want to talk.

Instead, I distracted myself by making a quick dinner: a slice of bread and a yogurt drink. I wasn’t a heavy eater, especially since moving away from home. My warm, daily meals had been replaced by cafeteria food, paid for with lunch coupons—each Rank got a different amount per month—or by whatever I could buy at the small ShinRa convenience store to make my own meals. I mostly chose the latter since I’d only had coupons for a week so far. 2nd Class go them for 2 or 3 weeks, I wasn't sure.

Kunsel didn’t go to the cafeteria much. Zack did, but not lately, since he was busy handling Sephiroth’s paperwork. And I didn’t really know anyone else there. Sitting alone felt awkward when everyone else was grouped together, chatting with people from their hometowns or cities.

Since I was the only one from mine, I was alone in that regard.

Usually, I didn’t mind so much.

The problem was, I wasn’t great at making new friends. I didn’t have any special hobbies or interests, nothing that would instantly connect me to someone else. It always felt like I’d run out of things to say too quickly.

Beside my two friends was this strange relationship with the General.

I wouldn’t call it friendship. But it felt similar. With a touch of flirting.

Even though it was forbidden.

He had a girlfriend. He was my superior. It shouldn’t have happened.

And yet…

Why would he flirt back if he wasn’t at least a little interested?

I doubted anyone had ever tried this with an instructor, let alone the General himself—at least, not seriously.

But I was serious.

At least, as much as I could be after only knowing him for a few months.

It felt more like love than it ever had with my first girlfriend. With her, there had never been butterflies or excitement, no lingering anticipation before seeing her again. But with him—this was something else entirely.

Something new.

New in a good way.

It left me walking around with a smile for most of the day.

Talking about that, it returned when I heard my phone buzzing on the table. Might as well be Zack, but... okay, it was Zack.

*Hey, Spike! Sorry if I'm late, but work's keeping me busy. How was your exam today? You had yours today, right? I remember you being on the list... ah, nevermind. Tell me, tell me!!!!!!! :D :) !!!!!*

A chuckle escaped my lips. Even in his texts, he was a man of many words. Much unlike Sephiroth, who would probably love to reply to each text with only one sentence, if he could.

I decided to tell Zack that I had passed, before he would spontaneously combust from excitement. That was pretty much what his message looked like...

When I was about to dim my screen, I noticed Sephiroth's name right under Zack's in my SMS list. Maybe I should let him know, too... 'But I don't wanna bother him... After all, he left earlier. What if he's not back yet? What if he's...' Being too busy thinking, I didn't notice how my fingers had already typed in *I passed =)* into his message box and pressed “send”. So much for that.

Anxiously, I watched my background screen as for who would reply first. To my surprise, it was the General.

*Congratulations :) I knew you could do it. Will head to bed now. Don't dream about anything weird!* At the second part, I had to think for a few seconds until I remembered our previous talk about... showers... and him being naked... aaaand I felt my face heat up again.

If he minded these kinds of talks at all, he wouldn't have brought it up again unprompted like now, right?

*Thanks =)* I smiled, trying to stay composed. Then, impulsively, I added: *Maybe about showering... *_* O_O ;* *

I laughed at myself. 'Subtle, right?'

I put away my dishes, stealing another glance at Kunsel’s closed door. Tomorrow, I’d have to tell him about my results—assuming he didn’t already hear it first from Zack’s inevitable, loud congratulations at our door in the morning. Even though Kunsel had said he wasn’t ready to move up, I still couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

Buzzing sound from my phone. Sephiroth.

*He he, maybe even together...*

My heart skipped a beat. Was he serious, or just teasing me again? I couldn’t tell, and it made my chest tighten in the most maddening way. Whatever the case, I wanted him to keep talking to me like this forever—just me, no one else.

*;) If you want it, then definitely...*

It had become a habit to create imaginary situations in my head where he and I would be together. This time, it was the showers. Steam curled around our bodies, fogging the air. I hesitated as I stepped closer, the faint sound of splashing water filling the silence. His mako-green eyes locked onto mine, pinning me in place. When I faltered, his gaze softened, silently encouraging me to move. My feet carried me forward, though my eyes stayed glued to the floor. He raised a hand, cupping my chin gently but firmly, tilting my face upward. My lips parted in surprise as I instinctively leaned closer. His touch kept me grounded, holding me still as if he were in complete control.

My hand rose tentatively, threading through his silver hair. It was soft—just as I’d always imagined. My fingers ached to explore more: the sharp curve of his jaw, the smoothness of his skin...

The phone buzzed again, jolting me from my thoughts.

*Then there will certainly be more than taking a shower in the dream... ;) Good night!*

I froze, heat rushing to my face.

Him telling me that... 'Wow... Just wow...'

My heart pounded in my chest as I let my eyes drift shut, pulled back into the daydream.
Now my hand reached for his face, only to be caught by his. He moved swiftly, pinning my wrist above my head as his other hand slipped around my waist. He spun us effortlessly, pressing me against the cool tile wall. I gasped, my free hand instinctively reaching out, only to be captured and pinned beside the other. His grip was firm, yet there was a tenderness to it—like he was testing my limits.

He leaned down, his breath warm against my neck before his tongue brushed my skin. A shiver ran through me, followed by a soft moan as he explored, his lips and teeth finding sensitive spots with an almost predatory precision.

My body betrayed me in the shape of an embarrassing twitch of my erection against his leg, pressing closer to him, eliciting a reaction I couldn’t suppress. Embarrassed by my own need, I squirmed, attempting to free my hands. But Sephiroth was in control. His right hand held my wrists firmly, while his left moved lower, long fingers trailing down... His mouth never left my collarbone, sucking and nibbling on it while his left hand worked its magic on me. The whole situation had me feel as if I was getting closer, until...

The ringtone of my phone violently ripped me out of my hallucinations and made me deadly aware of my tight pants, but that didn't matter now.

Who the hell was calling me now? Did Sephiroth somehow feel the same thing—though this wasn’t a smutty romance novel—and decide he had to call me?

Obviously not, because it was only Zack.

'What a turn-off...'

“Hey,” I answered, still breathless and shaky, clawing my way out of la-la-land.

“CONGRATULATIONS, Spike!”, my friend shouted in my ear, and I could almost feel the breeze blowing through the phone.

“Haha, thanks,” I muttered sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck, although he couldn't see it.

“How many points? I heard only a handful passed! I got a perfect score on my second attempt! Okay, I had been slacking a bit before that...”, he babbled enthusiastically.

“96. Really? Only a handful?” I blinked. Had it been that tough? Although I knew why I was so ambitious to study...

“Yup, but that's normal for the first opportunity exam. By the way, who you gonna move in with?” I heard a voice muttering in the background, so I assumed he had visitors.

“I have no idea,” I admitted. If Kunsel hadn’t passed, I’d end up with someone new. The thought of starting over didn’t thrill me. Only 1st Class were allowed to have their own apartment.

“Oh, I could check the lists for you for tomorrow, if you want! You should better start packing already. How about I'll call you in the morning?” I heard the background noise again, which turned out to be a female one... and not Cissnei's, as far as I remembered...

“Sure thing, and thanks!” I was about to hang up, when a thought came to my mind. “And have fun, you guys!”, I exclaimed, shutting off the call right after I heard an embarrassed gurgle from his throat.

It was probably the girl he was head over heels over. Or girlfriend, by now... not that I was very interested in things like that, but I did not want Zack to find the wrong kind of girl and end up getting hurt. Meeting her to find out more didn't seem to be a bad conclusion. 'Maybe I'll invite myself for a coffee some time...'

But now, to less fun things... packing.

Packing my things turned out to be less work than I had imagined... after all, I was practically only moving my clothes and books to another place. I had carefully stuffed most of my belongings into the suitcase I had arrived here with, leaving it open a tad to add my shampoos, toothbrush and other things I would need before moving out tomorrow.

Kunsel’s door stayed dark, and I decided to leave him be for now. Lying in bed, I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. Sleep didn’t come easily, but this time, it wasn’t from stress.

Chapter Text

Zack's call woke me up and I felt sleepier than I should have, since it was already 9. Knowing I had advanced in Rank, I didn’t have my new schedule yet, so I’d forgotten to set an alarm accordingly.

“Morning, Spike! I’ve got good news and bad news!” Zack’s voice was as chipper as ever. I grumbled something incoherent, rubbing my eyes.

“The good news is... your new apartment is ready! The bad news...”

“Oh, the moving,” I groaned, suddenly wide awake. I jumped out of bed, Zack’s voice still in my ear as I shuffled toward the bathroom.

“The bad news,” Zack continued, “is that your roommate’s on the Costa del Sol mission, so you won’t get to meet him just yet!”

Mental phew. Introducing myself while standing awkwardly in a doorway with my suitcases wasn’t exactly my idea of fun. Honestly, a quiet move-in sounded like a blessing. Still, knowing my roommate—another 2nd Class—was part of Sephiroth’s mission made me look forward to advancing in skill even more.

“Aww...” I forced some fake disappointment into my voice so Zack wouldn’t think I was antisocial or anything. It wasn’t that—I just wasn’t used to being surrounded by so many people my age. Back in Nibelheim, there’d been... well, one. Aside from that, just young children or older adults.

“So, when can I move in?” I asked, trying to sound casual. “I’ve got my stuff packed, and I was planning to train later. Don’t want to fall behind just because my instructor’s not around.”

“That’s the spirit!” Zack’s encouragement practically radiated through the phone, as though he were clapping me on the back. “You can head over now! No one’s going to stop you.”

A sheepish grin tugged at my lips as I remembered something. “I should probably let Kunsel know I’m leaving first. You know, my current—or I guess former—roommate. I think he hasn’t passed yet, so he’s probably still here.”

“Good idea!” Zack cheered. “Have fun training! I’m off to do the same with my buds!”

“Buds” likely meant Genesis and Angeal. My chest tightened at the thought—I’d give anything to train with Sephiroth right now. Soon, I reminded myself. Soon.

After hanging up, I headed to Kunsel’s room. I knocked twice, but for a moment, I thought he might have already left for the day. Then the door cracked open, revealing a sleepy face.

“Hey,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“It’s past 9. Don’t you usually wake up earlier than this?”

“What?! Past 9?” He blinked, realization dawning. “Oh no! I’ve got Field Training at 10! Gotta hurry!” He dashed back into his room.

“Uh, no problem,” I called after him, feeling a little awkward. “But actually, I came to tell you—I’m moving out today.”

Kunsel froze mid-step. Slowly, he turned back to face me. “Oh.”

A second passed before his expression softened into a smile. “Congrats! I’m happy for you. Told you I’d likely need more Field Trainings to pass. Well, I’ve got six more weeks now, I really need to make up for missing out on the practical stuff.”

Relief washed over me. I’d half expected him to feel upset after all the time he’d spent studying, but he looked genuinely pleased for me.

“Thanks,” I said, smiling back. “I’m sure you’ll pass with no problems next time.” We shared a brief, cordial hug—something we hadn’t done before, but now it felt appropriate.

“I’ll see you later, then?” he offered, already bending down to put on his boots.

Knowing I’d still see him around the premises—even if not in the same flat every day—gave me peace, as he was one of the few people here at ShinRa who’d always been a good, reliable friend.

“Yeah. Gotta move my stuff. See you!”

With that, I went back to grab my belongings and headed toward the 2nd Class apartments.

The 2nd Class accommodations were noticeably different from the 3rd Class dorms. The buildings were smaller—only two stories instead of three or more—and everything seemed cleaner and quieter. That likely meant fewer late-night parties, not that partying was ever officially allowed. Residents here were probably more focused on studying or catching up on rest before their next training session.

Flat number 13 was on the ground floor. As I entered, I walked past the separate staircase and into a spacious common room. Four doors lined the left and right walls, likely leading to two bedrooms and their respective bathrooms. On the left of the large room, a small kitchen area featured a fridge, stove, cupboards, and the usual essentials, along with a table and four chairs. Beyond that, there was a cozy seating area with a sofa, two armchairs, and a small coffee table. As I turned to my left, beside the door – a medium-sized TV was attached to the wall, with some shelves and drawers below for storage. On the far left of the common room were bookshelves and a small niche to put cleaning utensils and a trash can.

Warm lighting and two large windows overlooking the courtyard gave the space a surprisingly welcoming feel. The view itself—parked cars, SOLDIER equipment, and other apartments—wasn’t great, but for Midgar, it was about what I expected. Zack’s 1st Class accommodations still had mine beat by a mile. His place had a garden, a balcony, and even a terrace.

A video gaming console attached to the TV and DVD-player made me grin, although I knew I probably wouldn't use it a lot.

'Oh. My room... what number again? 2-310.' It turned out to be on the left hand side. Inside, I found a decent-sized desk with a laptop on top, a swivel chair, and a beanbag tucked in the corner. A large bed took up the center of the room, with dressers against the opposite wall. Near the door, the wall-mounted TV completed the setup. It was a lot nicer than I’d expected.

After setting down my luggage, I took my time unpacking and settling in.

Once everything was in place, I decided to head out for some training. Behind the cafeteria, there was a small sports field with old training dummies that hardly anyone used, especially in the fall. It was perfect. Grabbing my Buster Sword, I made my way there.

What I’d planned as a quick refresher turned into a much longer session. By the time I noticed how dark it was getting, I was drenched in sweat and the chill in the air was setting in. Not wanting to get mistaken for a SOLDIER sneaking off to a pub on a weekday, I quickly made my way back to the flat.

When I was about to turn the key in my lock, I noticed something unusual. 'Have I left the lights on? Strange, I don't remember that... Wait, it's on the right too... That's not my part of the apartment!'

Cautiously, I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Could my new roommate have arrived early? It didn’t make sense—Zack had said it would be days, maybe weeks before they returned.

I moved quietly, heading toward the right side of the apartment. Opening one of the doors, I was greeted by the sound of blaring music.

“Are you also frightened? Are you also friiiightened? Are you—”

I quickly turned the volume down, straining to hear any other sounds.

That’s when I heard it—a low, masculine groan coming from my side of the flat.

It couldn’t be Zack—he’d mentioned he was too flooded with paperwork every evening.

My heart started pounding.

‘What the hell is this person doing? Is he in my room?’

Grabbing a heavy vase from a nearby cupboard, I prepared for the worst. Maybe it was a thief. Then again, what kind of idiot thief leaves music blasting?

Creeping toward my room, I noticed the lights were off. A faint splashy noise drew my attention to the bathroom.

‘What…?’

My mind spiraled with paranoia. Was it a murderer? Washing off blood? Or drowning someone?

Clutching the vase tighter, I listened for any signs of a victim. Nothing.

With a burst of adrenaline-fueled bravery, I ripped open the bathroom door and charged in, screaming, vase raised high—

And froze.

Standing in my bathtub, completely naked, was a man.

Chapter Text

“WHAT THE HELL, ZACK?!” I screeched, clutching the vase in one hand while trying to shield my eyes with the other.

“Oh, hey, Spike!” he replied cheerfully, completely unbothered as he rinsed shampoo from his hair. “Were you planning to put flowers in here? That’s so thoughtful of you!” He chuckled, as if I was the crazy one here.

“What... are you even doing here?” I asked, cautiously peeking out from behind my hand as I set the vase down. “Sorry... I thought you were a thief.”

He laughed, loud and unabashed. “Oooh, haha, no. I just thought you could use some company, so I decided to move in until your roomie gets back. If that’s okay with you? I wanted to ask first, so I haven’t brought my stuff yet. That’s why I had to borrow your bath—and your shampoo!”

‘Glad he invited himself in,’ I grumbled internally.

“I don’t mind,” I said aloud, though my tone was less than enthusiastic. “But maybe next time, ask first before you surprise me like that, I thought it couldn’t be you since you’ve been so super busy lately.” I let out another sigh of relief, taking a step back. “And... I guess it’s fine, but did you get permission from your superiors?”

“Haha!” He turned off the water and turned toward me fully. I quickly tossed him two towels and looked away.

“I’m 1st Class,” he said smugly, drying off. “Nobody cares what I do. Perks of being a ‘Firsty’!” I joined in with his laugh, thinking of being the General's right hand. “Yeah, I bet...”

I stayed turned around as Zack got dressed, determined not to see more of my friend than I wanted to.

“You should come to one of our company parties,” he said, clearly pleased with his idea. “They’re always hilarious. I’ll invite you to one when everyone’s back!”

“Hilarious,” by Zack’s definition, probably meant “disastrous” for me. I knew this man too well. Whatever shenanigans he got into at parties were bound to involve me in some way—and likely not in a way that would impress anyone.

“But first things first!” Zack continued, his energy ramping up. “How about some video games? I saw a console in the common room, so we might as well make use of it. I’ll grab my stuff!”

Before I could respond, he threw an arm around my shoulders in a quick hug, grinning ear to ear.

We ended up playing a fighting game called “Super Smash Sis'”. The name sounded girly to me, but the gameplay was anything but. It was a fast-paced fighting game and surprisingly fun—despite the fact that I kept losing.

Back home, I’d spent most of my time alone. My days consisted of playing video games in the morning, followed by lessons with a private teacher. It wasn’t because I was some spoiled brat; there just weren’t enough kids around to justify opening a real school. The nearest one was over 50 miles away, and since I didn’t have a driver’s license and the bus came twice a day at the best of days, I had no way to get there reliably.

My childhood wasn’t exactly brimming with positive memories, but I didn’t dwell on it. I preferred to focus on the good things, like the games and movies that had been my companions when real friends were scarce.

Well, there was Tifa. She’d been my childhood best friend, and for a brief time, we’d called each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” We were teens and clueless about relationships, so we stuck to holding hands and otherwise stayed the same. It was a phase that eventually passed, leaving me more confused about love than before... until I met a certain somebody... of the other gender, too. I didn't mind gay people at all – not knowing any personally, though. 'Beside me, apparently...'

My mom's hairdresser was homosexual, as she had told me, and she always gushed about him being the sweetest person ever. That was the extent of my exposure.

Speaking of my mom, I emailed her roughly once a week—just a short information of what was currently happening in my life. She’d left home around the same time I had, deciding to search for my dad. I’d never met him, so I didn’t feel much of a connection there. It was her journey, not mine, and I respected that.

Living there had been nice, but also stressful. All in all I was glad about my change of environment, but I would never forget my family over there. I would inform her about my new Rank later...

“Haha! You lost again, Spike!” Zack teased, giving me a friendly pat on the head.

“Hey! You’re a cheater!” I shot back playfully. “You’ve probably played this game two dozen times. I only played “Marco Kart” and “Marco Party” as multiplayer games in my childhood...” Of course I wasn't really angry, I just wanted to tease him. It always worked, but not always the way I wanted it to.

“Don't be sad!”, he pulled me closer, snuggling me to cheer me up. I tried to escape his vicious grip, mumbling something about him having to meet his girlfriend again.

“Oh!” He let go abruptly, his expression turning sheepish. “I invited her over for tomorrow... Guess I should tell her I’m living here now!”

“Your phone is on the cabinet in the bathroom...”, I helped. “I'd love to meet her, actually!” My eyes followed him as he almost slipped on the round carpet in the middle of the room as it moved. Fortunately, and before I was forced to call a medic or even perform my first CPR on a living object, he managed to catch himself and rushed to the room more carefully this time.

“Thanks! You’ll love her—she’s awesome!” he yelled, his voice echoed from inside the other room.

I shook my head, chuckling to myself. Zack was a whirlwind of energy, and somehow, I always got caught in the chaos.

“Is tomorrow at ten fine? After the Military Training.” He emerged, phone in hand.

“Sure thing!”, I called, remembering that this was going to be my first Military Training, or short: MT.

My books had already informed me about its details; all of the exercises were there to improve one's abilities on a real battlefield – mostly stamina. It would start at six every day and be open to join for several hours, and you were obligated to do at least three per week. Involved was an hour of running, then, at an artificial training area, climbing up rocks, trees, walls, and other objects, crawling through mud under wire—Zack had told me that the wire was charged... I hoped that was a joke—, hopping over obstacles, swinging on ropes, and, last but not least, swimming through a cold lake.

This certainly wouldn't be my favorite training since it involved Angeal and not Sephiroth – no, not ever, not a chance. Maybe he didn't like barking at his students and shooing them past their physical limits until they coughed up blood. Okay, if I had gotten to know him under these circumstances... we probably wouldn't be where we are now.

I had decided to go four times per week for now to strengthen myself in every way possible. Maybe I could impress my General with some stunning abs once he was back... although I doubted that it'd go as fast. Knowing my body, I couldn't say from myself that I was wimpy. I wasn't exactly muscular, either, but that was only going to improve from now on. My biggest wish was to be useful in battle, to be able to save something or... even someone who was dear to me. I also wanted to be able to protect myself, so I wouldn't be a bother to anyone on a mission...

“Okay, we should probably head to bed,” Zack said. I saw im hastily typing into his phone. “If we wanna be early before the tracks are full, we’ve got to be up at five. We can catch the bus together.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “Is there anything I should bring?”

Zack clapped me on the shoulder before pulling me into a hug. “Spare clothes, for sure!” he said with a grin before disappearing into his bathroom again.

I stood gasping for air outside the common showers of the MT facility, sweat dripping and lungs burning. Zack, already clean and energized, stood next to me with an amused grin plastered on his face.

The training had been brutal—far harder than I’d expected. I’d barely scraped through, using every ounce of my strength to finish the course within the “newbie grace period,” an extra hour granted to fresh 2nds during their first month. Zack had dubbed it the “puppy license,” and while I hated the nickname, I couldn’t deny its necessity.

“You’ll get used to it,” Zack had assured me earlier. “In a few months, you’ll be zipping through it like a pro. Two hours, tops.” Judging by how he’d already showered, dried his hair and changed by the time I stumbled to the finish line, I believed him.

As I leaned forward, trying to catch my breath, Zack glanced at me and raised his hand, likely to ruffle my hair. He paused mid-motion, reconsidered, and smirked. “Uh… you might wanna check a mirror first. I’ll wait at the bus—you’ve got 15 minutes before it leaves!” He waved and strolled off, his laughter trailing behind him.

I went into the entrance room that connected to the showers. A painting with a foreign looking creature stared back at me when I looked to the right wall... only that it was not a painting, but a mirror, and the mud monster was me. Now I knew what Zack's snickering had been about.

Mud and lake water clung to my clothes in thick, slimy patches. My arms were speckled with tiny scrapes and bruises, the dirt making them look worse than they were. My hair, usually somewhat presentable, was an undefined, tangled mop. Since I’d managed to keep my head above water during the lake segment, the mud had stubbornly refused to rinse out and now clung to my hair like it had claimed it as its own. It was truly a sight to behold.

I sighed, immensely grateful that Sephiroth wasn’t the instructor for this training. I could only imagine his reaction to seeing me in this state.

Not that any of the other swamp monsters here cared, and frankly, neither did I.

Opening the door to the shower room, I stepped inside. Most of the other trainees had long since left, and only a few stragglers remained. One guy was rinsing off in his uniform before heading to a closed stall to finish cleaning up properly.

That seemed like a good idea. I followed suit, stepping into the nearest shower and rinsing off the worst of the muck. The cold water stung against my raw skin, but it was worth it to not feel like I’d been dipped in swamp goo. When I felt like the washing machine would manage the rest, I moved my messy little butt to the stalls.

I hadn't exactly expected great shampoo here, but one bar of soap was nothing I wanted to do to my hair. When I checked another empty stall, I praised the gods to find a shampoo bottle someone had left behind. Smelling it, I noticed it was... Zack's. I grinned, both for the possibility that he'd forgotten it, as well as for the one that he'd done it on purpose, knowing my hair.

After finishing, I went into the dressing room to put on my spare clothes that I had kept inside a locker, noting down to bring my own shampoo next time.

I tossed the wet uniform onto the pile of other messed up ones in the middle of the room, then made my way outside, happy that we SOLDIERs didn't have to bother with washing those ourselves. I had overheard people talking that you could also sign yourself up for a permanent locker that would be refilled with a fresh uniform every day, if necessary. That sounded like a good idea to me, since I only had three pairs of uniforms in my dorm – so I would let Zack sign me up.

When I noticed my friend waving from the door frantically, I spurted there because the buses engine was already running. I was the last, apparently, only Angeal got in after me with one more glance outside.

Zack clapped me on the back as I climbed aboard, grinning ear to ear.

“Cutting it close, Spike!” he teased, though there was no malice in his voice.

I rolled my eyes and found a seat, grateful to have survived both the training and the aftermath. Angeal followed just after me, taking his usual spot near the front.

It wasn’t exactly the smoothest start to military training, but at least I’d made it through.

Chapter Text

Now in the bus, my gaze fell back to the instructor.

'Angeal...'

My eye twitched slightly at the thought of him. Zack had snagged a seat just behind the driver and offered me the aisle spot—right beside Angeal. I didn’t mind; I’d gotten to know a bit about him during that movie night. He seemed like a decent guy—calm and composed, much like Sephiroth, but in a different way.

Today, though, I’d seen a completely different side of him.

“Barking” was indeed the best way to describe his training style. He’d called out every mistake, every moment of hesitation, with unrelenting precision. To an outsider—or a newbie like me—it might have seemed harsh, even unfair. But there was no room for kind words on a real battlefield, and I understood why he did it.

Some trainees avoided his sessions as much as they could or complained behind his back. Those were the people who wouldn’t last long in SOLDIER. If you wanted to survive—if you wanted your team to survive—you had to follow orders without hesitation and push yourself to your absolute limits when necessary.

So, I wasn’t angry at him. He was just doing his job, and he was doing it well.

Noticing my stare, Angeal glanced my way and offered a small nod and a faint smirk. I smiled back, but before I could say anything, Zack’s head popped into view, leaning over me to address Angeal.

“Yo! How’d Spike do on his first run?” Zack grinned, looking far too pleased with himself.

“Zack, don’t—” I muttered, embarrassed, as I tried to shove him back into his seat. My hand buried itself in his still slightly damp hair, but it was like trying to move a boulder.

“It was fine,” Angeal replied, his deep voice steady. “He reminds me of you back then.”

Zack turned to me with a delighted look, practically beaming as he leaned even closer. I sighed and gave up, releasing him, which caused him to lose his balance and plop down.

“Um… thanks. I’m trying hard to improve every day,” I managed to get my other hand out from under his weight, my words slightly stilted.

“Do you wanna switch seats?”, I asked Zack quietly, but he shook his head, remaining in place sprawled across my lap, with his hands on Angeal's. “No. And aawwh! You're gonna be great then, if you're like me!”, he teased, and I rolled my eyes.

I heard the other man chuckle with his dark voice. “That's great, if you have a dream, pursue it. I appreciate it when SOLDIERs are highly motivated, it helps them tremendously to reach their goals.”

“Yes! I will do my best!” I said earnestly and grinned at my MT instructor, watching him idly trace his fingers over Zack's hands now.

"Motivation goes a long way in SOLDIER,” he added.

Hearing that gave me hope for the future, for my own aspiration as well as for...

I hadn't noticed my hand responsible for “stopping” Zack was running through his hair until I heard him purr. “Oh yesss, do that again...”, he mumbled when I stopped abruptly, throwing my hands to my sides. “What the hell!”

The three of us burst into laughter, and Angeal turned the conversation toward Zack’s girlfriend after.

“You’ll see her soon,” Zack said, brushing off the topic as we pulled into our stop.

Soon being now, we had twenty minutes to get from the bus to my flat, which was not going to be a problem.

Both of us waved Zack's colleague goodbye and trotted towards the 2nd Class dorms.

After we arrived, we still had enough time to boil water for a tea or a coffee, whichever she preferred. Talking about her, there was little I actually knew. Starting with...

“What's her name, by the way?”, I asked curiously, before I made an idiot out of myself, if she knew mine.

“Oh? It's Aerith,” he mentioned, placing teacups on the coffee table. We had decided to go and eat lunch in the cafeteria after, before both of us SOLDIERs would go train with our swords for a while, or, in Zack's case, do some paperwork first. Or a lot of paperwork...

I was about to answer “I see”, when the doorbell rang. My friend sprinted towards it, almost kissing the floor because of the round carpet again. “We should staple it to the ground...”, he complained before swinging the door open.

A young, brunette woman in a white and blue dress entered, friendly smile on her face. She was really pretty, I had to admit. Her hair was tied back into a braid, using a pink bow. I stepped closer as she offered me a hand, after getting welcomed by Zack with a kiss.

“Nice to meet you, Aerith, I'm Cloud.” My hand reached out sheepishly, but before I could shake hers, I felt someone from behind me press me towards her. “No need to be so formal!”, my 1st Class friend said as he pushed me against his girlfriend for an awkward hug.

“Ahh, it's so nice to be here with two of my favorite people!”, he cooed, snaking his way to our sides to snuggle both of us.

When he finally pulled away, I was glad that Aerith gave me a knowing smile, introducing herself.

“Coffee or tea, honey?”, Zack hollered from the kitchen area while we took our seats.

“Tea is fine.” She smiled in his direction.

“... and my other honey?”, he teased.

“Zaaaaack!!!”

He knew that my choice would always be coffee, so he didn't really have to ask... but that was just him being him. He was probably the only person I’d let get away with asking things he already knew the answer to, just for the sake of teasing. Unless Sephiroth would...

“So now you two finally meet!”, he beamed, seemingly happier than the two of us together.

“Cloud has been my friend ever since he moved here a few months ago. When we met each other, it immediately 'clicked'! It was like fate! Like we'd known each other for centuries already,” he exaggerated, but I let him.

“You were actually the first person I talked to while you signed me up and brought me to my dorm... and even showed me around,” I noted, remembering. I was happy that I'd coincidentally found a friend here this early, he'd also helped me get to know countless people here...

“Oh, that's so sweet!”, Aerith said after setting down her teacup.

“Our meeting was more spectacular, though, honey, don't ya think?” He grinned in his girlfriend's direction.

“You fell half on top of me...”, she chuckled before Zack spoke up again, his hands in a defensive position.

“Nah, nah! Not like that. It was an accident... I'm glad that it happened, though!”, he flirted. “I was on a mission and fell through the roof of a church... where she was! She was taking care of some beautiful flowers growing on the ground there... so I suggested that she should open a flower shop! And she did, so the next chance we met again, we went on a date... and I got her this ribbon!” He pointed at her hair proudly. “Isn't that so romantic!”, he sighed, gazing into his lover's eyes.

I smiled, seeing both of them so happy. “That's great! I'm glad you've found each other.”

We continued our talk for a while more, before Zack suggested moving to the cafeteria to eat. There, we spent another hour, until Zack had to leave for work and training, and me for training only.

All of us agreed that we should meet again some time and then went our ways.

Mine lead me not far back, behind the cafeteria for some solo training. I felt like I wasn't going to manage a long one, since my muscles were still very tired from this morning's Military Training. The cuts and bruises here and there would heal in no time, so I paid no attention to them.

Sadly, I couldn't train the only thing I wasn't exceptionally good at – Materia. Those were locked away until our first FT as 2nd Class – and only to be used in Field Trainings or missions. That way, inexperienced SOLDIERs who had just ranked up wouldn't set the HQ on Fire or even summon a Meteor. It made sense... but also forced me to wait for Sephiroth to even gain access to, and improve my skills with them.

Sword fight against a dummy would have to do for now – at least to keep the basics in my head.

After an hour, I decided that it was enough for this busy day, and made my way back home.

What I didn't know yet was that a very interesting evening was about to happen...

Chapter Text

When I returned home, I planned to study a bit before Zack, my temporary flatmate, came back. Beyond that, I didn’t have much on my agenda—until…

After stepping out of the bathroom from a refreshing shower, I glanced at my phone.

One unread message.

Curious, I quickly pulled on a pair of shorts over my boxers, ruffling my damp hair with the towel one last time before discarding it. 'Who could it be? Zack? Kunsel?'

I unlocked the screen and settled onto the sofa by the window in the common room.

*Wow, it's still so warm outside...*

I smiled, recognizing the sender. Sephiroth. For once, he had made the first move to start a conversation.

Instinctively, I reached to open the window, but the icy air that rushed in clung to my still-moist skin, forcing me to close it again a minute after. 'Yeah, missions in warm areas must be nice...' I thought wistfully, my mind wandering to a fantasy of future missions at the General’s side. His right-hand man… or maybe more…

Without thinking, I scrolled back through our previous messages. My face heated as I re-read certain lines, particularly the ones about the shower and “him wanting more than a shower with me in the dream as well.” While he hadn’t directly said what more would entail, I’d felt leaving it up for interpretation that time was the right way to go. Especially since we were both going to sleep right after.

That whole conversation—even though short—had been charged with something. Even from his side...

While I still had my doubts at times, he hadn’t seemed uncomfortable talking like that at all... considering he was still texting me now. And even first this time. That felt like a victory in some silly way.

*Lucky you!*, I remembered I still had to reply, and when thinking about the warm area he was at, I got a little bit envious. I did miss the summer nights with comfortable temperatures... this icy wind just reminded me too much of my old home in Nibelheim where it had been cold most of the year, thanks to the high altitude.

*Are you still at the beach? ;)*, I added.

The last time I’d been to a beach, I must’ve been seven or eight years old. Even so, the memories were vivid: warm sand underfoot, little restaurants nestled under palm trees, long walks at sunset, collecting colorful shells as souvenirs... My imagination drifted further, picturing Sephiroth and me at a beach like that, sharing the kind of peaceful moments I hadn’t had in years.

The buzz of my phone snapped me out of the daydream.

*No, I'm on the couch at the hotel. We did a lot of marching to secure the area today, so I'm mildly tired.*

I couldn’t help but picture him sprawled on a sofa, elegant even in exhaustion. Somehow, I doubted the General was capable of looking anything less than composed. Or maybe it was just me, hopelessly biased, seeing him through rose-colored glasses.

*Oh, I can imagine that... If you're tired, I can leave you alone for tonight.*

Of course I didn't want that. 'I'd love to spend the evening with him... well, not in person... but this is nice as well', I admitted in my thoughts. I loved every minute of chatting with him. I really did. Therefore, I was more than happy about his reply.

*No, don’t worry. If I were too tired, I’d tell you—or simply not reply. But what are you up to? Zack bothering you? ;) He told me he temporarily moved in.*

I grinned at the thought that Zack had immediately informed him of that. *Okay =) And no, no, he’s not home yet. He’s doing a late Field Training, so he’ll probably be tired…*

At least that was what I was hoping... When I did have the chance to chat with Sephiroth for a while, I didn't really want to get interrupted by watching a movie or playing video games... which I totally didn't mind in any other situation. But, like this...

*Ah, I see. So, you're alone as well?*

Something about the way he phrased “alone as well” sent pleasant shivers down my spine. 'Why would he ask that?'

Either way, I was glad he was at a hotel currently and not in some sort of camping arrangement, gods forbid even a community tent with everyone sleeping in the same place. While that was probably the norm, a hotel room felt like a blessing for chatting tonight.

*Yeah, why are you asking? Planned anything? ;P* I smiled, deciding to try to move the conversation to “our” different level...

*No, nothing planned ;)*

*Then everything is still open... ;)* I really wanted to get a rise out of him. But I had to have him give me the right hint first.

*I guess so... ;)*, he texted, not helping me at all.

So, after a minute, I scratched together some courage to make a first direct attempt. *Haha -touches you through the phone- By the way, how long more's the mission?*

My heart raced as I sent it. Would he play along? Brush it off? Stop responding altogether? I felt a mix of excitement and apprehension, trying to “defuse” the boldness of my first line with a more neutral follow-up.

When his reply came and I read over it the first time, I let out an audible gasp.

*Now, now, I’m almost naked! Shame on you! ;) And—I can’t say yet. Probably a few more days.*

That was all I had wanted to hear. So he was going to play along...

Now It was my turn again. *Oh, okay then… And I’m almost always half-naked when I’m home, so we’re even ;)*

I felt a little bit odd, being a little 21-year-old trying to 'seduce' a man of 10 or even more years older than me... But somehow, this 'forbidden' thing just added to the thrill. The fact that he’d casually mentioned his girlfriend wasn’t around made it even more exhilarating.

*I see... Then what shall we do now, in your opinion?*

There he was again, teasing me. My thoughts whirled, but I still didn’t feel bold enough to go all in. Instead, I decided to keep the game going, hinting just enough to see where he’d take it.

*Well... what could two half-naked people do? ;)*

Satisfied with the subtlety of my response, I waited, checking if he would take the lead.

*Cloud... Is it possible that you want to read naughty things?*

Blood rushed to my face, and my heart started to pound like a drum. Inside, I was practically screaming 'yes, yes, yes, yes, yes', but I forced myself to stay rational without jumping all over this man. I really liked where this was going...

Just as my thoughts raced in anticipation as to what to reply, I heard the unmistakable sound of a key turning in the lock. 'Not Zack, not Zack, not Zack…' The mantra repeated in my head like a prayer, though I already knew the reality.

When the first thing I heard and saw was a yawn and him dragging his Buster Sword behind him like it weighed a ton, my hopes flared up again.

“Hey, Spike,” Zack mumbled calmly, marching toward his room after giving me a short wave. And another yawn.

I felt as if today was my lucky day... Zack being exhausted? When did that ever really happen? Certainly not often. 'I know I told Sephiroth he would be, but it actually happening...'

Today just felt like a blessing in many ways.

“Hey, Zack, you okay?” I asked, feigning casual concern while being grateful he hadn't noticed my probably obvious blush.

“Just tired! Been an extra loooong day,” he called from his room. “Wanna watch a movie?”

Before I could remember that I was still chatting with Sephiroth, I had already called out, “Sure, give me a while!”

'Oh crap, what did I just do...' I cursed myself internally. 'Now he’ll be disappointed if I don’t show up...'

Scrambling for an excuse, I called out again, “I need to clean our desk and sort some papers first!”

From his room came a muffled, “A’ight,” followed by the sound of his TV turning on. The door clicked shut. Good, that would buy me some time.

With Zack out of sight, I rushed over to our shared large desk where mostly my own study papers rested. After that, I returned my attention to my phone. My blush, which had faded during our brief exchange, surged back full force when I reread Sephiroth’s last message:

*Cloud... Is it possible that you want to read naughty things?*

My fingers hovered over the screen as I debated how to respond. I wanted to sound playful without being too forward. Finally, I settled on: * -cough cough- Written by you... Maybe... -cough- :x (Sorry, Zack just returned.)*

I sat down at the desk now, shuffling papers to create the illusion of productivity. When my phone buzzed again, I grabbed it eagerly.

*Has he gone to bed already?*, was the only thing the General asked. He didn't question why I wanted to read sexy texts from him, neither did he brush me off...

'Not quite to bed, but...' I thought, choosing the brief answer: *Yes, tired from training* to most likely get rid of any hesitation from his side.

*And are you still wearing anything?*

I swallowed hard, the nervous excitement almost overwhelming. Determined to see this through, I typed: *Shorts and boxers? ;)*

Normally after a shower at home, I’d lounge for a while in just my boxers, but with Zack around, I opted for shorts to avoid looking like a couch potato. As I typed, my hands continued to shuffle papers, the rustling noises a subtle cover for my current state of distraction.

*Well, at least that! ;) Cloud, we still want you to reach 1st Class and stay in SOLDIER—while being able to look each other in the eye… Don’t we?*

His message was like a splash of cold water, teasing yet evasive, steering the conversation away just as it was heating up. A part of me wanted to give up at this point, but another part was determined to keep him engaged.

*You’re mean ._. As for me, I could live with that just fine—you’d even get bonus points from me! Definitely nothing negative…* I tried to think of more reasons to make him keep going – as I really didn't want to stop this here. We had already crossed an imaginary line where I would have thought that Sephiroth would quit, but yet he had surprised me by not doing so.

*That’s sweet,* he replied, *but then you probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate during Field Training anymore. And what would happen if you were sitting there without shorts, and Zack walked in… ;) ;)*

There he was, calling me sweet, while the only sweet thing I could see was him being concerned about me. While I appreciated his thoughtfulness, it also felt like a gentle way of pulling back. Still, I wasn’t ready to give up.

Now it was my job to convince him that I'd be perfectly fine:

*No, that wouldn’t affect me! If anything, it’d make me happier and more motivated around you. Believe me! And obviously, I wouldn’t mention any of that during classes—don’t worry!*

I poured my whole heart into that message, hoping he’d see how much I meant it. Then I noticed the second part of his earlier text and added quickly:

*And, without shorts… do you also mean without boxers? ;) ;)*

Some of my hope had already left me after he had still opposed my first confirmation that I was okay with it. If he was going to write another one of those, I was probably out of words to make him stay.

His next text, however, caught me completely off guard...

Chapter Text

His next text, however, caught me completely off guard...

*Yes, without the boxers... ;) ;)*

I blinked at the screen, dumbfounded. Then I waited a minute. Two minutes. Just to make sure there wouldn’t be any follow-ups like, “No, we really shouldn't” or “Sorry, we have to stop this now.”...

When nothing came, I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Relief washed over me, leaving a surprising warmth in its wake. It was time to respond—quickly, before the moment slipped away.

*But then I'd have to remove two shorts...* I teased, a flicker of confidence spurring me on. Relief had given way to something else entirely, and even my southern regions were beginning to stir back to life.

*Okay, that's not hard to do...* His nonchalant reply had me stifling a laugh. 'He says it like he knows what he's talking about... okay, he is a guy as well...'

I couldn’t resist poking back. *Yeah, not for me... How about you? ;)*

*Ha ha... I'm sure I can manage that as well... :D But now, for a shower...*

The mention of a shower deflated me a bit. I knew what “shower” often meant—he’d go quiet, and our conversation would end for the night. Desperate to keep him engaged, I typed: *Then wait with the getting dressed after the shower... so we can continue our uh, shorts talk? ;)*

I didn’t want this to end. A small voice in the back of my head warned me that we might never talk like this again. So why not make the most of it now?

*But then I won't be wearing anything anymore... then we don't have to talk about boxers anymore, either... ;)*

A grin broke out across my face as I read his reply. 'Is he hinting at what I think he is...?' My courageous 5 minutes hadn't ended yet, so I pressed on.

*O_O then...? About... the things underneath...? -cough cough- *_* *

I caught sight of my reflection in the window and cringed at my crimson cheeks. 'Zack better not call me over right now…' My gaze dropped to my lap, where my slightly open shorts betrayed evidence of how our conversation was affecting me.

*Really... The kind of things you want to talk about... weird ;)*

I breathed in sharply, trying to get some air for my hot head. This man was driving me crazy in many ways...

*O_O That's what you said... Sir sexy naked instructor! ;) ;)* Adding the last part felt bold, but his steady replies had been building up my confidence. Every encouraging text chipped away at my insecurities, leaving me on an intoxicating high I didn’t want to end.

*But what would we get from writing about my butt? ;)*

I exhaled through my nose. 'Good, he ignored my too obvious compliment... He’s probably used to those from random people... Not from his students, apparently, though!'

The whole “He could be doing this with other people as well”-thing somehow didn't let go of me entirely. I would have to ask him some time. Somehow. I shoved the thought aside and kept the momentum going.

*:D Why not... nicely shaped?*

Of course it was. I’d caught glimpses—judging by the way his pants fit during training, his backside definitely wasn’t lacking. Not that I had much of a right to be looking, considering he was my instructor. The great Sephiroth, admired and feared by everyone. And yet, here he was, talking to me like this.

Some paranoid part inside nagged at me: 'What if this isn’t even him? What if someone else has his phone?' The contrast between the reserved man I knew in class and the... playful one I was texting felt stark. But then again, it made sense. He couldn’t have these kinds of conversations in person—not in ShinRa, where there were always students milling around, cameras near every major building, and his girlfriend to consider…

My spiraling thoughts were interrupted by another message.

*For sure! ;) ;)*, he answered to my question about his butt.

I had to grin and replied: * *_* Oooh... And mine, you wanna know? :D ;)*

*Yeah, sure!! ;)*

His enthusiastic reply made me chuckle quietly. My grin widened as I wondered: 'How do I describe my butt...' I had never actually taken the time to look at it in this aspect.

I glanced toward Zack’s room and heard him still engrossed in the TV. Quietly, I slipped into my bathroom and locked the door. Facing the mirror, I hesitated before pulling down my shorts and boxers. I turned, craning my neck to examine my reflection.

'This is so silly… What is this man making me do?'

After a moment’s deliberation, I grabbed my phone and sent: *Hahah... I would say, can't complain? ;) :P*

Smirking, I got dressed again and snuck back out, leaving the restroom as stealthily as I’d entered.

*Are you contented with it?*, Sephiroth asked and made me blush. 'Talking about butts... Seriously...'

*Yeah, looks pretty good, imagine that! ;)*

I couldn’t help but wonder: 'Is the General really imagining it right now?'

*That's nice... men love butts, as you know! ;) :D*

I chuckled, but his comment reminded me to tread carefully. I didn’t want to veer into generic conversations about other people’s nice butts. No, I wanted this exchange to stay focused on just the two of us. Still, it felt good knowing that he seemed at least a little interested in mine—even if I doubted it was particularly feminine.

What even was Sephiroth’s type? I didn’t have the faintest clue. There had to be some reason behind him talking to me like this, especially when he had a girlfriend. That mystery lingered in the back of my mind, unanswered.

Gathering my courage, I sent: *Have you taken a look at mine before? Just between us... ;)*

I didn’t expect him to admit to it, of course. Trusting me with that kind of confession wouldn’t end well for him if I were the type to spread rumors like that he was checking out his students' butts.

Therefore I was sort of relieved when he answered: *No, I haven't... honestly!*

On the other hand, I felt a little disappointed as well... 'Not even a tiny glance?' I thought, remembering how often I’d checked him out during class. Particularly when he was writing on the whiteboard. A part of me had hoped for a "yes".

Before I could craft a reply, his next message appeared, and it completely caught me off guard once again.

*Or have you looked at my crotch already? ;) ;)*

My breath hitched. The directness of his question left me momentarily speechless. He wasn’t holding back, was he? My mind scrambled for a response. On one hand, I’d been flirting shamelessly, so it wasn’t like I could pretend I wasn’t interested. But on the other, I wanted to keep playing our little game of teasing.

Somehow I thought that this was an amazing feeling, not to say that I felt “honored”... or just super special. Whatever it was, nothing could make me happier...

*;) Why, nothing wrong with that... but only at yours ;)*

I smiled at my own reply, adding the last part deliberately to make him feel special. As happy as his attention made me, I wanted to do everything to please him as well, in every way...

*Oh? Is that so? And, detected something?*

I shifted in my seat, my heart pounding as his words conjured images I probably shouldn’t have been entertaining. My thoughts strayed to what might be underneath those perfectly tailored pants of his. Silky black boxers? Or tight briefs? The mental images were enough to make my face heat up again.

*Hahaha ;) Wouldn’t you like to know that... Put on tighter pants some time ;) ;) *_* * I hit send, trying to sound casual.

His pants were already fitted, of course, but I’d never noticed much between his legs, as that area of his pants was still kept rather loose. My quick, supposedly innocent glances during class hadn’t revealed anything obvious that might be more than just creases.

*Ha ha... maybe better not. ;)*

I grinned. *But why, if nobody beside me is paying attention to it? ;)*

His next text made me even more excited than I already was, my pulse racing.

*Preferably tight pants and erotic thoughts, right...??*

I stared at the screen, my face now feeling so hot that I thought I might burst into flames. My brain struggled to process the fact that this conversation was actually happening. How come he was so open right now? Because he was alone? As far as I knew, even at HQ, he slept alone since his girlfriend wasn't there. Now he even was where she lived, so it should be quite the opposite, technically. Whatever the reason, I was appreciating it.

The more we talked like this, the more surreal it felt, like I was living in a dream I didn’t want to wake up from.

*;) Then I'd probably sit in your theory classes with a problem...*

I hit send, smirking to myself. I wanted to grab his attention...

*Now, what kind of problem?*

... and it seemed I succeeded.

My grin widened. I had his curiosity indeed... I also liked the way he'd worded it—very instructor-like, fitting his normal personality but in a playful context.

Leaning back a bit, I pondered how to answer without being too explicit and direct.

*Well... In my boxers... ;) ;) :P* My teasing skills were definitely getting better, thanks to him... I'd honestly never imagined I'd end up doing this kind of texting with anyone, let alone someone like him, but somehow, it had just ended up this way. If anyone had told me a year ago that this would happen, I would have thought they were insane.

*Don't see how that's a problem ;)*

My eyes widened at how casual he was being about this now...

*Wow... getting so warm here all of a sudden... *_* ;) * I wrote truthfully, taking a hand to move my hair out of my eyes and away from my very warm cheeks and forehead. In the room itself it wasn't too warm, the cool fall night air helping with that. My face or body temperature, for that matter, however, was another story... and the way this kept going didn't make it better.

*Tch, tch... What are you thinking about? ;) The tight pants?*

Oh hell, I was—at least, now I was again. The image of those tight black pants clinging to his long legs and well-defined behind flashed in my mind, the fabric just loose enough at the front to leave me guessing... Guessing about something I wanted to be so special to be able to see for the world. At least, eventually.

If my blood hadn’t already started rushing downward from the mere topic, my less-than-innocent thoughts about my General certainly sealed the deal. I tried to keep myself under control, but it wasn’t easy.

I typed back a counter-attack: *Don't pretend to be the innocent one here, Mr. naked instructor! ;)* At least, I assumed he was naked—or nearly so—since he’d mentioned showering. Adding the 'instructor' bit felt a little like we were doing some sort of roleplay, which I admittedly found hot and was hoping that he felt the same way about it. Since it was very easy to just pull away from text conversations at any point, I was sure that everything from his side was also consensual.

His response confirmed my suspicions regarding the shower: *Am not all naked yet... but soon! ;)*

This man was driving me insane—not in a bad way, just in the kind of way that made my face heat up and my body ache in places I didn’t want to admit. I imagined him in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror, slowly stripping off his last pieces of clothing to admire his flawless body.

‘Now I’m just being ridiculous,’ I scolded myself, trying to refocus. I needed to play it cool. In an attempt to relieve some of the heat building up, I took off my shorts. Not my boxers, though—I didn’t usually sit around completely naked.

As if reading my mind, his next message came through before I could reply: *Don't tell me you are naked as well?*

My eyes locked onto the “as well” part, blinking rapidly, trying my best not to imagine him naked... 'Bad Cloud... Bad Cloud...'

I responded quickly before he could start making assumptions: *What if I am? ;)*

Though my boxers were already plotting mischief of their own, I tried to maintain composure.

Instead of answering directly, he sent another question: *And, were/are you behaving well?!*

The way he had worded it sent a jolt through my body for some reason. 'My superior indeed...'

And—truthfully, I was—so far. But who knew how long that would last with the way this conversation was heading?

*What do you mean by 'behaving well'? ;)*

I sure as hell knew what he meant, and he knew that I knew...

But I wanted him to say it outright.

To go into detail, like I always tried. Barely ever succeeded, but... if not today, then when?

*You're just sitting there naked... and not doing anything else aside from texting me?*

I grinned widely, my chest tightening at the thought of him imagining me like that: doing more with my hands than just replying to him. His text put images into my head that I probably shouldn’t have indulged in—images of Sephiroth himself, doing more than just thinking about me.

*Who knows who knows ;)* I chose the secretive option again, since it had worked pretty well... and indeed, I managed to tickle more and more out of this man.

*Ha ha... you thought about the tight pants and took yours off straight away... ;)*

My eyes closed and I felt the corners of my mouth starting to hurt from all the smiling and grinning. But if that wasn't worth it, then I didn't know what was...

*As long as the General plays along ;)*, I flirted. There was something undeniably alluring about his position of authority. He made me feel safe and secure in a way I hadn’t expected... He was very strong, intelligent, and experienced—and again and again I found myself hoping for a real mission with him someday.

His next message dimmed my excitement slightly, however: *Ha ha... then we better stop here, as long as we still can... ;)*

I bit my lip, disappointed but trying not to let it show. Despite the pause, I felt our “relationship” had progressed tonight. Even with the shadow of his girlfriend lingering somewhere in the background, I couldn’t help holding onto hope.

*Okay, maybe we can continue another time if you'd like, and have time ;) =(* I added a sad smiley so I wouldn't seem too enthusiastic about him leaving me now. So the evening was ending sooner than planned... or certain parts of me had already started planning without me. I gave the sort of bulge between my legs a mean glare, only to mentally hit myself a second later for acting silly.

*Ha ha... We'll see ;)*

The smile returned to my face. 'That's not a no...' I thought, having expected that more than anything else. Who knew when the General would reach the point where he'd cut off all strands and distance himself entirely? Until then, I was determined to savor every moment with all my heart.

* =) *happy* ^_^* I sent back, feeling giddy despite him trying to cut our conversation short.

I expected a “good night” to follow, but something inside me wasn’t ready to let him go just yet. On impulse, I added: *Boxers are also happy :D ;) *

The blush that burned across my face was immediate. I couldn’t believe I’d just sent that. But after everything we’d talked about tonight, I wanted to leave him with something memorable.

Something to entice to an eventual repetition.

When his response came, though, it made my heart stop.

My widening eyes scanned the words, and I had to re-read them several times to confirm they were real.

*When they get hard?*

Chapter Text

*When they get hard?*

After reading it at least two more times and half dropping my phone the third time, I managed to fumble some keys for an answer.

*Yes ;) Because of you ♥ * I chose to be honest, because... what did I have to lose? He had been playing along until now, and, as in his last message, for the first time... he hadn't talked around the topic. No hints. No jokes. No 'what if' scenarios. Not just teasing around.

Just the plain fact – and realizing that made me harder than anything. Hard enough to make me feel uncomfortable in my boxers, so I pulled them down halfway, just in order to free my erection.

How long I had waited for him to say something directly in that way, I didn't know. But now that he had, it was the biggest turn-on for me. I couldn't even help my left hand trailing down to give my cock a teasing stroke. When I saw a little precum glittering at the tip, I shook my head slightly as if to say “what has become of me...”. He wasn't even there with me in person, still I was getting so riled up.

The right hand started typing some nonsense which was supposed to tease him in a way... and drop some more hints in another. *Amazing services from this instructor, pleasing his students on all levels ;) Me at least, and that's enough for me... :) :* *

I didn't expect him to write anything 'sexy' back to that, but I did hope for something... even if it was just something small...

What I did get had me stop breathing for two seconds. Apparently, he had caught up on what I was hinting at...

*Did I pleasure you?*

'Don't think I have to answer that...' I tried to talk myself out of it. Because, as a matter of fact, he had not completely done so yet...

Thus, I chose to change the subject for now.

*;) and you stayed completely cool inside your pants... Or not? ;) *_* * I knew that I was probably entering 'personal' territory now, but the General never talked about himself or admitted anything of this kind, so I sort of felt like that would be an achievement. Nothing to brag about, just for myself, my pride, my...

*Could you be more precise with your question?*

There it was, the instructor attitude. The authority he was suddenly emitting made me feel weak and giddy when I was reminded of whom I was talking to. 'Yes, about things like these...' I blushed, noticing my painfully straining erection reappearing when I read his last two texts. Shrugging mentally, I decided that one hand was enough for texting, so the left one could do whatever it wanted... and it did by wandering south.

I pouted when I started stroking myself again, thinking 'It's his own fault that he's so sexy. He's provoking it...' I still felt a bit at odds with the fact that he was not single, but at this point, I decided to shrug it off. 'He is old enough to think for himself and do what he wants, I suppose... And he will have his reasons.'

*Should I :p?*, I messaged him teasingly. Thankfully, his replies came almost immediately today, so I didn't have to wait several minutes in between like when he was at work.

*Yes!*

Okay, now there was no escaping it. But how would I explain that? Now I understood the situation I had put him in a few times today when I “forced” him to be more direct. He wanted to hear the plain fact from me... but I wasn't going to give up this easily.

*Well... how do they say... did it leave you cold down there?... Or more precise? :P * Okay, those words weren't much different from those I had used previously, but I wanted to see his reaction.

It did make me chuckle as well as feel sort of wanted by him...

*Can you be more precise? And beside that, you haven't answered my question!*

For some reason, I read out his need from the message. No idea if that was what it was, but I definitely could have said I had him “on the hook”. Right now I knew that he wasn't going to bed or shower anytime soon, not before something would happen... and I knew at least for me, that it probably would. With no Zack in sight still, my left hand started moving a little faster. The thought of Sephiroth wanting me to say this drove me insane – in a good way.

Therefore I answered to his question truthfully. This was still pleasure and felt really good... even incomplete.

*Hmmm... yes :x :) :x You didn't answer mine, either!* I added the last part because I really wanted him to say it. Loud and clearly... in a written manner, in this case. I needed it so badly...

*Hey, I asked first! Now, where is the precision?!*

In my mind, I read out his reply loudly in his mildly annoyed, yet playful voice.

That bossy reply almost made me moan. He knew who he was, that he could command me around, and get me to say and do anything. He was the one in control... Not only over my mind, but over my body as well.

When I looked at my last message, I saw that I had already answered him, but he must have overlooked it.

*I've answered already! I apologize, Sir, General, Sir!...*, reacting to his horribly erotic authority. I thought for a few long seconds, feeling my head almost explode in embarrassment when I typed the rest. *Did you have a boner?*

After sending, my right hand dropped the phone onto the table and moved to my forehead... 'What am I doing here...', then switched places with my left one, stroking fiercely while re-reading our previous few texts. This commanding tone coming from his 'mouth' in this situation just was the hottest thing ever. And me mentioning his...

My heavy breathing got interrupted by a new message popping up.

*Maybe, maybe not... and you jacked off? ;)*

Reading that had me sharply sucking air in through my nose. My eyes lingered on the last bit.

That part he was referring to I did. Well, currently was doing... Breathing heavily by now, feeling the pleasure build up at a rapid rate...

Both the thought of him having an erection because of me, and him saying... that. Thinking about me doing that...

My whole body tensed at once—thighs trembling slightly, toes curling as the last few waves pulsed out of me. I squeezed my eyes shut and arched my back, overwhelmed for a moment by how strong it hit me, as if the anticipation had multiplied it tenfold. All I could see before my eyes was Sephiroth, and this time, it was not a dream. My breath came in short bursts, chest rising and falling, sweat beading lightly at my temples. The release left me momentarily dizzy, sensitive to the touch and shivering slightly from the rush.

I'd barely managed to grab a tissue from the table before the waves of intense pleasure had engulfed me.

"S--Sephiroth..." It only felt appropriate to moan his name softly since he had been the one who had brought me to completion...

It took me a while to come down from that high. As soon as I could, I opened my eyes to read and confirm that this was real.

'It is...'

After cleaning myself off, I quickly typed: *You kinky... Yes, General, Sir :) and it was amazing ;) :)*

I was telling and showing him more about myself than I'd ever done with anyone. It made me vulnerable to admit such a thing, but I felt like butter in his safe hands... and couldn't resist or dance around the topic anymore, not after just now.

A glance at Zack's room showed me that his lights were already turned off, but I could still hear the TV in the distance that would have drowned every noise that might have escaped my throat when I...

*Did you think about the tight pants?*

I had to smile at that. 'I'm not some kind of animal, just regarding that certain part of a person...'

To clarify, I answered: *;) and everything about you... If you tell me now that you've at least been a liiiittle bit stiff, then I can clean up here again soon... :x *_* O_O*

I looked for my discarded boxers to at least pick them up already, when the General replied.

*You pig... But you've already finished! Do you like writing naughty things?*

'Getting vulgar now, are we... Should I feel dirty?' I wondered when I saw he still hadn't answered my own question. Maybe he himself hadn't been...

Bzzzt.

*Have to admit... at the butt-topic it tingled...*

I sucked in air through my nose as if it had been the sexiest thing he'd ever said to me. To speak the truth, every text he was now sending me just kept getting sexier. In fact, I would probably really need another tissue soon if I started imagining Sephiroth sitting on the corner of the bathtub, having an erection because of puny, little me...

Somehow, I had to keep myself from writing an overjoyed reply, so I just chose to answer his first text.

*I haven't really done anything like this before... so I'm not a pro! But yes, I like it with you... :) *_* *

Figuring honesty was the best way to go, I knew it would also let him know that I myself wasn't somebody who did this kind of texting easily, or even all the time.

*He he... then we'll better stop for now and I'll go take a shower... can be nice as well. ;)*

I had an idea of what he was hinting at, and I liked that idea so much that I almost felt a tiny vein in my nose popping to cause excessive bleeding. 'Is he going to touch himself... thinking of me?' My brain was on absolute overload, feet whipping back and forth. Maybe he just meant an ordinary shower... but after all of this, I imagined that not only I had gotten all hot and bothered... 'Oops, still have to reply...'

*Haha... I hope that it wasn't too horrible for you today ;) ;) With all the luscious youths always messaging you* I chose to be humble, but also including my question number one. 'Am I the only one?' If I wasn't, this just wouldn't be as special anymore... but I had never heard of any flirting related to him. Not from Zack, nor from the news, or anyone else in general...

I gulped when I checked his answer... and also released a big breath, pretending it would cool me down...

*I'm not texting with anyone else... no, everything is alright! :D*

Even though he most likely wouldn't admit that, it still gave me the assurance I needed. Especially right now... To think that this man, the legendary hero Sephiroth, who had a reputation, a girlfriend, and possibly almost everything to lose if someone were to find out... someone who absolutely couldn't afford it... risked all of this to be with tiny, in the world's eyes still 'worthless' me. I couldn't think of anything more honoring than this. All it would need would be his girl checking his phone... and part of his current life would be ruined.

My heart fluttered wildly in my chest as I replied to him. I had to include a certain thing, too...

*Me neither :P And okay :3 Thank you for the evening, and for everything today ;) ;) *_* ;)*

I leaned back, sighing deeply. A certain part of me didn't even consider leaning back, so I was about to pull up my boxers to shut it down, when...

*Ha ha... you mean for the orgasm, to call it by its name. ;) ;)*

My eyebrows shot up in surprise, and not only them. It was as if 'he' had known it... I grabbed my cock almost fiercely, leaning back once again and brought the phone up before my face, using my left hand to type wildly: *Sgdfshgsh you are super sexy, omg ♥ *_* *_* *

Since I had never managed to even try to cool down, it didn't take me long until I was breathing raggedly again. “Sephiroth: … orgasm...” I read it over and over, as if I couldn't believe he'd actually said it... I only hadn't mentioned it by name because I was still sort of shy, but to think that he would...

I scrolled up a little again, to read the last bit of our conversation once more... and just when I was down at the word “orgasm” again, I came hard. “S... Sephiroth...”, I breathed out, only being able to catch half in my tissue this time. I rode out my strong orgasm, feeling like I was in another world while that whisper slipped out from between my lips.

Slumping back against the comfy chair, I groaned softly as the glow of it faded, the world slowly settling back into focus. My hand stayed limp between my legs for a second longer, the aftershocks tingling down my spine. There was a strange tenderness in my chest—like something warm and heavy blooming behind my ribs. It wasn't just lust, and I knew it.

With the floor cleaned up in a rush, my eyes darted back to the screen for his reply.

*Thanks! Alright, I'll undress now, shower time!*

I still needed time to catch my breath. He was definitely skilled at manipulating me—in the best way possible. He knew exactly what to say and do to drive me completely insane, leaving me drunk on the sheer weight of his attention. But had he done it on purpose? The hinting, the teasing, then following up with... this?

If he had planned it, 100 points to him. His words had landed like thunderbolts, shaking me to my core. After all his subtle hints, hearing him speak directly and boldly had an immense impact. It didn’t feel like a game, though. There was something more behind it. This wasn’t just casual flirting or seduction for the sake of it. Given the risks he was taking, he had nothing to gain from seducing me—not as an enemy, not as a spy. So why...?

Wiping my damp forehead with the back of my hand, I leaned forward to finally put my boxers back on. My heart still raced, my body humming with the last aftershocks. As I adjusted myself, I typed my next reply:

*I wish I could watch... Maybe you’ll do something besides washing? ;) ;) *_* *

That was all I wanted—to return the favor. A thousand times over if it meant I could make him feel what he’d made me feel tonight. Nothing in the world would make me happier than knowing I’d pleasured the General.

The thought left me flushed and nervous, and then his response arrived.

*You mean more intense than washing?*

The words sent heat rushing to my cheeks. Did he mean what I thought? I wanted to believe it, but part of me wouldn’t let myself be sure. Not until he said it outright.

*Let's see what the showerhead is capable of...* He added before I could reply.

While I had heard of that possibly feeling good, I wasn't certain if it was enough to... finish. 'Probably not...?'

Therefore, I chose to lend him a hand with my next reply: *Haha... the hand, more likely... ;) or mine...*

I bit my lip as I hit send, feeling daring—maybe even reckless. Implying that I wanted to use my hand on him felt bold, but the idea of it made me ache all over again.

*Showerheads can also be good... ;) ;)*

One of my eyebrows rose—maybe he did know some secrets...

*I see, that's news to me... Well, then go and do that... think about my nice ass <3 ;)* Since he seemed to be trailing off, I knew he was about to disappear soon. Still, I wanted to leave a bit of a tease.

*Well, off to shower now! See you tomorrow, maybe. Thank you, I will... mmmhh ;) :D*

My heart leaped at his words, especially that last part. I swallowed hard, feeling giddy. Was he going to...?

I felt butterflies in my stomach when I imagined his near flawless hand he'd sent me a photo of previously trailing down his chest, the other one holding the showerhead for some extra sensations... My name might slip from his lips, hushed and low, as he thought about my body, my touch...

The thought sent a fresh wave of heat through me. I shook my head, exhaling shakily as I glanced at the clock. Somehow, the hours had flown by. I couldn’t even remember what time it had been when we started talking, only that now it was late—very late.

Still, I couldn’t bring myself to regret a single second. Tonight had been a success in so many ways. Not just because of what we’d done—though that was amazing—but because of how it made me feel. Seen. Desired. Perhaps even... more?

I pulled the covers over myself, staring at the faint glow of my phone screen on the nightstand. My thoughts swirled in a chaotic mix of disbelief, euphoria, and nervous excitement.

Could this really work between us? Could I be enough for someone like him—someone untouchable, larger than life? He was risking so much for me, and I wasn’t sure if I could ever match that level of devotion.

But for now, I decided to let those questions rest. I closed my eyes, letting my mind replay the evening in vivid detail, savoring the way he made me feel. My heart thudded softly in my chest as sleep finally began to take hold, carrying me into dreams where Sephiroth was waiting—just for me.

Only one thing was for certain: My desk sure was as clean as never before.

Chapter Text

The moment I woke up, my phone was already in my hand, checking if the events of the past day had really happened.

There it was, back on white... or black on my cute white Pomeranian wallpaper.

I jumped up immediately, a choked gasp leaving my throat. It hadn't been a dream... it was real... Sephiroth and I had...

“Aaaaahhhh...” I let out another long, happy noise that to me sounded like a mix of a yawn and a scream of glee.

It didn’t take five seconds for someone to notice.

“Spike!! Everything alright?!” Zack shouted, barreling through my door without a shred of hesitation.

There he stood—me in all my boxers-and-morning-wood glory, phone in hand—staring.

“Ack!” I screeched, tumbling back into my sheets. “I—I just saw a spider...!” The lie tumbled out before I could think of anything better. I wasn’t the tiniest bit eager to mention anything Sephiroth-love related to him.

“Oh...” His excitement vanished into boredom as he idly poked the tip of his nose. “Where is it, then?” His eyes scanned the walls.

“Uh...” I scrambled for a response, since imaginary spiders didn’t conveniently crawl away. “It disappeared behind the dresser.” I pointed, throwing in a fake shudder for effect while discreetly grabbing a clean set of clothes.

“Mmmh,” my raven-haired friend mumbled. Then, suddenly perking up, he said, “Wanna make pancakes? I bought this dough yesterday. Aerith says they’re amazing with jam or cinnamon and sugar!”

I nodded, relieved that his attention had shifted. For a brief second, when he’d seen the phone in my hand, his expression had been almost... knowing. Thankfully, pancakes had saved me. “Let me get dressed real quick.”

Without another word, Zack turned and left—without closing the door, of course. Rolling my eyes, I shut it myself. Some privacy would be nice, considering I still needed to remove my boxers, and the kitchen had a nice, unobstructed view of my—

Anyway.

Once dressed, I joined Zack at the table, where a fresh stack of steaming pancakes was already waiting. I teasingly reached for one, only to have my hand smacked away in a scolding, housewife-like manner.

“Nu-uh-uh! We wait until the cook is done and all guests have arrived!” Zack wagged a finger at me.

“Wait... guests?” I blinked. “Is Aerith coming over again?”

“Nah. You’ll see.” He grinned, giving me a thumbs-up.

For the tiniest fraction of a moment, my mind jumped to Sephiroth. 'But... that's not possible yet, is it?' My heartbeat quickened at the mere thought of seeing him again after what we had...

The doorbell rang.

My heart skipped.

Ruffling my hair instinctively—as if there was any hope of making it look remotely presentable in five seconds—I stared at the door.

“Comiiiing!” Zack chirped, opening it while still wearing oven mitts. 'Why mitts, though? Do the pancakes bite?'

To my mild surprise, Genesis and Angeal stepped inside.

Still barefoot, I hesitated, lingering near the table as Zack greeted them with enthusiastic hugs. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I settled for a polite bow.

“Aww, don’t be shy!” Angeal’s deep voice rumbled as he pulled me into a one-armed hug.

“Ah...” I breathed out, hesitantly lifting my arms to return it. Genesis followed suit, despite the fact that we’d only met once before.

It still felt strange, hugging my superiors. Then again, I had lost any right to be squeamish about that sort of thing after... everything that had happened with Sephiroth himself...

Not that I was complaining. I just offered both of them a sheepish smile.

Judging by their casual demeanor, I suspected Zack was responsible for 'introducing' hugs into ShinRa culture. The thought made me smile. Just one more thing I owed him for.

As they took their seats, I busied myself by setting out toppings: cheese, ham, jam, peanut butter, honey, Natella, cinnamon sugar, and bananas.

Zack could be a menace when it came to food combinations, so I was fully prepared to witness him smear jam over cinnamon-covered cheese.

Once everything was set, I waited patiently, slicing cheese while Zack put the finishing touches on the pancakes. Just as I reached for a banana, he set the plate back onto the table with a triumphant grin.

“Bon appétit!” he announced, taking the seat across from me.

“Thanks!” I waited for Zack to take the first pancake, but instead, he passed it to me.

“Guests first!”

I stuck out my tongue at him and grabbed the peanut butter and jam while he served the others. The delicious smell made my stomach growl angrily, even though I’d only just woken up. A quick glance at the time told me it was already late—almost 11. I had class in an hour, but with my instructors sitting here eating with me, I doubted I’d have to rush.

By the time I’d finished my first pancake—using a knife and fork like a civilized human—Zack had already devoured three.

“Mmmh! So good!” he praised himself, giving his own shoulder a proud pat before reaching for a banana. Instead of slicing it, though, he peeled it halfway and stuck it directly into his mouth.

“You're supposed to slice it,” I informed him politely, watching as his lips moved slightly, like he was trying to melt it in his mouth. Genesis and Angeal paid him no attention, quietly enjoying their breakfast.

“Mmhmmmpf—” Zack made some muffled noise, then pulled the banana out of his mouth—its tip now looking way too familiar.

“What the hell, Zack!” My face heated as I gawked at the unfortunate resemblance. “How... and why did you do that!?”

I heard Genesis snicker while Angeal just shook his head. “Not again...” he muttered, his expression a priceless mix of exasperation and “I knew something like this was coming”.

“Why? Because I can~”, my raven-haired friend purred, giving the banana tip a slow, suggestive lick before taking it into his mouth again—this time, sliding it in as far as he could before pulling it back out... without taking a single bite.

Genesis’s snickers had escalated into full-on laughter, and I couldn’t help but join in. But Angeal—was he... blushing? Probably just secondhand embarrassment. Still, his lips were slightly parted, and he was staring.

Yeah, I needed to put an end to this.

“Zack! Stop that!” I choked out between my own laughter as he sucked it back into his mouth—this time with an exaggerated moan. I had to pull myself together a bit, seeing this admittedly handsome man doing this to a... phallic object. He was like a brother to me, though, so I was more grossed out than turned on, which was a good thing in this situation.

If it were a certain other person doing that, though...

'Nope. Not finishing that thought.'

Before Zack could moan again, I smacked the back of his head.

“Ouch! Now I bit my tongue!” he whined. But at least, to everyone’s relief, the banana dickhead had also been bitten off.

I turned to the instructors, scratching the back of my neck sheepishly, as if to apologize on Zack’s behalf. Genesis was still wiping away tears of laughter, while Angeal was grinning—his face, however, was still noticeably redder than usual.

“So that’s why you didn’t invite Aerith...” I shook my head and focused on finishing my forgotten pancake.

“Heeey! As if I planned that!” Zack huffed, folding his arms. “Didn’t even know we had bananas!”

We laughed again, and I was once again reminded how easy it was to be around him. He had this way of making things lighthearted—sometimes through sheer weirdness, but it worked.

The rest of breakfast was less chaotic. I asked how much longer the CdS mission would last, and after some hesitation, they estimated probably another four days. Four was a number I could handle. Genesis asked about Aerith, and Angeal gave a quick rundown of today’s Military Training. I’d be attending tomorrow—I had just gotten in too late last night. It had definitely been worth it, though...

I had feared that today was literally going to be a 'hard' day for me, so I’d thrown on baggy pants. Hopefully, I could hide in the back row during class and pray I wasn’t called to the whiteboard.

Since this ‘problem’ was the direct result of what was possibly the happiest day of my life so far, there was no way I was going to complain about it—ever.

When I realized everyone was getting up—and that Angeal was watching me—I quickly wiped the dumb, dreamy grin off my face before he could ask questions.

“Okay, later, guys!” Zack announced, giving each of us a tight hug before heading to the couch, where a table full of papers sat—presumably from this morning. Grabbing them, he disappeared into his room.

That left me to see the other two off. I still had to change to my uniform before class.

When Zack wasn’t around, saying goodbye felt... different. The casual energy from before had vanished, and now I wasn’t sure what to do. I coughed awkwardly and sent both a mental message to initiate the first step.

Apparently, they received it.

Genesis half-heartedly pulled me into a quick hug, his cloak wrapped around his left arm. “See you in a few,” he muttered, letting me know he’d be teaching today.

Hugging them without Zack around felt much more awkward. It was like our gathering had already been officially dismissed, and now we were back to “business”.

Angeal, however, was still standing there—he looked down at me almost threateningly, nose high up, with a dangerous glow in his eyes... Something unreadable.

Was he trying to intimidate me?

It worked, because I swallowed and instinctively lowered my head.

‘You’re such a wuss, Cloud...’ my inner voice nagged.

I promptly kicked it in the ass by looking back up with determination—then hugged him. 'Good boy.'

He let out a quiet chuckle, draping one arm over my shoulders and using the other to pat my head.

‘Literally a good boy now...’

“Later,” he said simply before turning to leave.

I closed the door behind them.

Alright—time to change and get to class.

Chapter Text

The time in class dragged on at its usual sluggish pace—at least when Sephiroth wasn’t the one teaching. I had come to know Genesis a little better by now, and occasionally, he would offer me a half-smile when I stared into the distance for too long, as if it were his way of snapping me out of my thoughts. A friendly little wake-up call.

More than once, I caught my hand twitching toward my phone, the urge to check it gnawing at me. It still didn’t feel real.

“Hey, G!” Zack’s voice rang out as class ended and the other students filtered out of the room. His head popped out from the small kitchen behind the classroom, a bright grin on his face.

Genesis’ expression shifted in an instant, going from neutral to annoyed as he shot Zack a withering glare. “Don’t call me that.”

“Calm down, princess!” Zack held up his hands in mock surrender. “I got papers for you to sign.”

Genesis let out a sharp, irritated snort as he marched toward Zack and snatched the papers from his hands. “Can’t the great General sign them? Thought he was the one in charge here,” he muttered, his tone sour.

I frowned, watching the exchange. 'Guess I’m not the only one around here with issues.' Genesis had been completely composed just a minute ago, but something had clearly set him off.

“Relax! You should really go out with your friends more often. Your work-life balance is totally out of whack,” Zack offered, trying to help.

Genesis turned toward him fully. After a pause, his head dipped slightly.

“My bad, yes, just been a lot lately.” I now heard him sigh, and watched how his hand ran through his hair once. “Perhaps you're right, it feels like something is missing from my life...”

“Happens to the best of us!” Zack shrugged it off, then turned to me. “Oh—Spike! Wanna watch a movie sometime this week? I borrowed this one from Seph’s place, since he isn’t home...” He grinned and held up a BluRay case. Before I could read the title, he vanished back into the kitchen.

“Sure...”

I stole another glance at Genesis and noticed his eyes glowing more vibrantly green than usual. Knowing it was a side effect of the Mako treatments we received at ShinRa stirred a bit of concern in my chest. 'What if agitation is a side effect, too?' 1st Class received a much higher daily dose than us 2nd Class. While the infusion was meant to enhance combat abilities, I couldn’t believe there weren’t any drawbacks.

I’d only just begun to receive my treatments, so I hadn’t noticed many changes yet. My muscle growth and strength were expected to rise sharply from here on out, improving my performance in battle. My stamina, reflexes, and eyesight—especially in low light—were also supposed to improve.
In general, I welcomed the advantages, but I decided to stay alert for anything... unusual.

Maybe it was just a matter of tolerance over time, or maybe Gen had simply had an unpleasant encounter before class. I hadn’t noticed anything off in the other instructors or the 1st Class in general.

After the lesson, I met up with Kunsel in the cafeteria so we could catch up on everything we’d been doing and learning lately. He proudly announced that he'd just completed his latest Field Training, and that it had gone well. I congratulated him, genuinely glad to hear it.

"I know you've got it in you, just needs more practical training. I wasn't aware that they 'lock' certain knowledge during the test behind FT experience, my bad..." I scratched the back of my head as I lifted my coffee to my lips.

“Not a big deal. Looking back, it makes sense. They did tell us we’d only be able to pass the 'first opportunity test' after a few practical lessons." Kunsel set down his tea and fished out one of his many notebooks. “Oh! By the way, my training’s with Genesis. Did you know he’s a fan of LOVELESS? I swear, he just started quoting it mid-fight—I almost lost focus right then and there.”

That made me chuckle. “Yeah, I saw that firsthand when I was hanging out with Zack once. Genesis and a few others were there, and he started spouting lines completely out of the blue.”

Kunsel’s face lit up. “That’s awesome! I suddenly like him a lot more. Honestly, I didn’t dare say anything after training, though—he was just mumbling by that point.”

Knowing how unpredictable these instructors could be in person, I figured I’d give him a little advice. “Does he text you about new appointments?”

Kunsel glanced toward his pocket where I assumed his phone was stashed. “Yes, why?”

I couldn’t help grinning. “If he quotes LOVELESS again during class or FT and you’re not ready to bring it up in person, text him a quote back. Something subtle. It might open the door a bit—maybe even lead to seeing a performance together or just chatting about it.”

His expression turned uncertain. “You really think that’d work? Why are you so sure?”

I wasn’t about to spill the details, but I could at least hint at a connection. “When I felt uncertain around Sephiroth, Zack gave me similar advice. Now we text pretty casually here and there. I’m a lot more relaxed during training and more focused, too. So yeah... it helped. A lot.”

Kunsel’s face lit up again. “Right, yeah! Zack told me you used to adore the General, so no wonder you were nervous around him! For me, it’s just... I don’t deal well with people watching me during practical combat—which I know is totally counterproductive.”

I nodded. Part of me wanted to deny the “adoring” part—looking back, it had been more like idolizing a legend—but the part of me that was currently more-than-adoring Sephiroth took over and won.

“Yeah, just give it a shot sometime,” I said with a smile that came straight from the heart. 'If I could help him the way Zack helped me—even if it was in a different context—I’d be really happy...'

Thinking back to how frustrated Genesis had seemed earlier, and what Zack had said about him needing to go out more, I felt a little hopeful. If he and Kunsel ended up bonding over their shared interest, maybe it would help. Maybe that was the missing piece in Gen’s life—and he just didn’t know it yet.

After finishing his tea, Kunsel began packing up. “Thanks so much, Cloud. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon! I’m heading off to the Training Room for some solo practice. I feel inspired now!”

I gave him a light pat on the arm as he turned to leave. “Keep me posted on your progress!”

“Hey, that’s my line! But yeah, I will—and about Genesis too,” he grinned before vanishing faster than I could finish my drink.

A small chuckle escaped me. If their relationship ended up blossoming even five percent as much as Sephiroth’s and mine had, I knew both of them would be much happier people—and that thought made me feel genuinely content.

At the end of the day, I started feeling a bit antsy—wondering if I’d gone too far with Sephiroth. The easiest way to find out if we were still okay was to send him a message.

After fumbling around for a while trying to figure out what to say, I finally settled on something simple:

*So, did you enjoy your shower? ;)*

I was genuinely curious about what had... come out of that. Had he done more than just take a shower, like I’d been hoping?

My heart began to race at the mere thought. Butterflies took over my stomach, and I felt instantly lightheaded at the idea that Sephiroth might have touched himself—thinking of me...

But no reply came right away. To soothe my growing anxiety, I started tidying up and sweeping the apartment. Nearly an hour passed before my phone finally buzzed.

*Yes, it was a nice shower. Greetings, Sephiroth*

The message left a lot to the imagination—but this time, I didn’t want to imagine. I needed to know...

Breathing a little harder than usual, perched at the edge of my seat in the common room, I typed out my next reply:

*That's nice :) .... But did you do more than shower?*

I hoped he’d understand what I meant. It had been awfully obvious the day before, so...

Then again, I didn’t mind when we played our little games. If he was busy right now, I understood.

Seeing his status switch to “offline” again, I figured I might as well continue cleaning. After finishing with the broom, I grabbed the mop and started swiping the tiled floors.

Compared to Zack’s place, with its warm hardwood, these tiles were cold to the touch—especially in winter. His kitchen and bathroom had floor heating, which made walking around barefoot feel strangely cozy.

It took Sephiroth another 45 minutes to reply, and when my phone finally buzzed, I ran in giddily to read it.

*No, honestly not!*

My heart sank. My lips tugged into a deep frown.

So he hadn’t...

While I was incredibly happy to have gotten to finish with him—even just virtually—knowing I could’ve returned the favor would’ve made me so much happier. Especially knowing how amazing that kind of connection could feel... Sharing that with someone special would probably be the most intimate, breathtaking thing imaginable.

If imagining coming together with Sephiroth through texting was this exhilarating... then the real thing might overwhelm every cell in my body.

My boxers tightening uncomfortably gave me a not-so-subtle reminder to stop. I still needed to reply—somehow—to his disappointingly honest message.

*Awww, okay... :( Too bad... :(*

I wasn’t sure if I should add something like "Would have been nice" or "I wanted to make you... happy, too". His messages today were shorter and more spaced out...

'Is he out fighting? Negotiating with breaks? Patrolling the area? Or just winding down in the hotel? Or spending time with...'

I stopped myself. The possibilities were endless—and obsessing over them wouldn’t help.

Still, the thought of him not finishing lingered in my head. I added one more message, quickly:

*Maybe we could repeat... that... some time?*

After sending that one, his reply came quickly.

*... Hmmmm.... ;) ;) ;)*

'That's not a no...' was my first thought. I clapped a hand over my mouth in surprise. Since the whole experience had been so enjoyable—presumably for him as well, since he had played along the whole time—I couldn’t help but feel like we had to do it again someday.

But first, he needed to come back. I wanted to see him in person again...

So I sent another message:

*The other instructors said you will be back soon?*

Excitement bubbled up inside me as I typed, curling under my blanket and pulling it halfway over my face. I’d left the window open too long, and now the room was freezing.

While waiting, I grabbed the Materia book from my nightstand. Couldn’t hurt to study a bit more before bed...

I jolted awake at the familiar buzz of my phone. I checked the time—two hours had passed. No wonder I’d fallen asleep.

*Yeah, presumably so. We’ve solved most of the issues at hand, so we’ll prepare to withdraw tomorrow. Should be back in about four days if everything goes according to plan.*

Good news, at least. I pulled the phone close and typed quickly:

*Awesome, can't wait to train with you again! Will try to sleep now, maybe will have another dream about kissing ;)*

I couldn’t resist adding that last part—curious what he thought of kissing. I’d heard people either loved it or didn’t care for it much...

His reply came in soon after.

*That's a nice dream, then ;)*

Okay, that sounded positive so far. Just thinking about it had me drifting off dreamily... I personally hadn’t experienced kissing myself, but everything I’d read or seen about it just made it seem so romantic.

*I think kissing would be really beautiful, I feel like that would be one of the best things ever :)*

Only after I hit 'send' did I realize I’d kind of just outed myself as a kissing virgin. Hopefully, he wouldn’t comment on it. I was 21 already—that topic was probably old news to everyone else by now. I mentally defended myself with the fact that I’d always wanted to wait for the right person, the right moment... and that just hadn’t happened yet.

*Kissing is really beautiful, yes... but*

His message stopped right there, and I wondered if he'd pressed 'send' too early, or if it was just a dramatic pause.

*But?* I typed without even thinking, suddenly unable to wait.

He was already typing again by the time my message sent. I held my breath a little.

*At some point when you get older, kissing alone won’t be enough for you anymore—you’ll want to do more than just that.*

I stared at the screen, momentarily stunned. Okay, he had definitely picked up on the fact that I hadn’t been kissed yet—and that I was inexperienced in general.

*Hey, I'm not that young and uneducated anymore, I know there is more after! ;)*

I added the wink to make sure he knew I wasn’t upset. Still, I wanted to make it clear I didn’t want him treating me like a kid. Not that I thought he would—but still, that was definitely not the lane I wanted to end up in with him.

*No problem, it just sounded a bit like kissing is the ultimate thing for you. Just wanted to mention there's... a lot more you can do.*

To be honest, I’d never really let myself believe those other things would ever be realistically possible for me. Kissing Sephiroth didn’t feel as far-fetched anymore, but anything beyond that had always seemed unattainable—if not outright impossible. I hadn’t really let myself think about it seriously... at least not outside of my daydreams.

Still, it was sweet that he cared enough to say something. Even if it made me feel like a teenager again—like when people used to ask me if I’d kissed a girl yet...

*I know that, it just never worked out that way for me before. But I hope it will one day—because it all sounds really beautiful!*

I chose honesty. The cat was out of the bag anyway, and truthfully, I didn’t want to hide anything from him. Not that I could, really. When it came to Sephiroth, everything just spilled out of me—whether through my lips or my fingertips.

*Okay, that's good, then. It's really late now, good night :)*

The kind of judgment I’d quietly feared never came, and I was grateful. Not having kissed anyone yet was just... the result of my upbringing. My morals. And honestly, I was glad I’d stuck to them. That way, I had no regrets.

I’d seen the scrutiny before—whether in school, out in the city, or even just from the media. That had already started as early as when I was 16. Sure, back then I’d felt embarrassed about it. But in hindsight, I was glad I’d always held on to my integrity. I knew I probably would have regretted it otherwise...

*Good night, sleep well!*

I didn’t want to get greedy after everything that had happened the night before, so I left out any further teasing. Besides, he was right—it was late.

Still... there was something I felt like I had to do when he came back.

It had been so long since I’d seen him in person, and so much had changed. I needed to escalate something—bring at least one thing into real life.

I already had a rough idea: I knew where the main surveillance cameras were around the theory building and the FT center. If I timed it right, I could catch him in one of their blind spots and welcome him back... 'Cloud style'.

I wasn’t sure what I’d do exactly, but I knew one thing—it had to be a kiss. Just something, no matter how small, to make my intentions clear.

Where and how... I’d leave that up to the future me to figure out.

Even though our talk had been short tonight, I was still so relieved he’d texted me at all after everything that had gone down the previous night. In many ways, we’d gone really far in that conversation—probably too far, in most people’s eyes—so I wouldn’t even have blamed him if he’d stopped talking to me afterward.

I was still a bit bummed out that he hadn't... touched himself after.

That would’ve been the cherry on top—something that would’ve made the evening absolutely perfect. As much as I loved receiving, giving felt that much more meaningful to me, and I would’ve loved the chance to make him feel good.

‘Maybe sometime in the future, then...’

Even so, I could tell Sephiroth had truly enjoyed the evening. He’d been so responsive, so curious and engaged—he’d replied to almost every message right away.

All in all, it had been a wonderful experience. One that I hoped we’d get to repeat sometime...

But for now, the only thing I’d be repeating over the next few days were textbooks and training routines—more motivated than ever, thanks to the thought of Sephiroth’s return on the horizon.

Chapter Text

The following days were relatively quiet.

Not quiet regarding my training, as aside from missing FT, I still had my fair share of other things that kept me busy: occasional morning trainings, solo trainings, Military Training, theoretical lessons, studying books, and using an online library ShinRa had prepared on our new computers... No, definitely not that.

What had gotten quiet, though, were Sephiroth’s and my texts. On the second day, neither of us messaged the other. On the third day, I tried to poke him.

*Hey! Hope everything's going fine.*

When I didn’t receive a reply by the next day, I got a bit antsy once more. Surely, he was just busy...

Still, I kept wanting to get his attention at least briefly... so I wished him and the whole troop safe travels home.

Perhaps he’d have enough time to answer at least that?

In his status, it said he had been online just a few hours ago. So he was checking messages, at the very least...

The fact that they had to be on their bus trip home now made me feel a bit better. Perhaps they had bad internet connection in the countryside, mountains, or whichever area they were passing through.

When I went to watch Sephiroth’s movie with Zack—the one he had borrowed—it turned out to be a horror movie called 'The Ascend' featuring creepy cave creatures. It had us at the edge of our seats the whole time, as we spent the duration of the movie fearing for the lives of the main cast exploring said unexplored cave...

Zack comforted me after the movie by telling me that Sephiroth would be back the next day, and then I’d be able to have Field Trainings again to learn how to beat up any possibly creepy monsters out there.

Hearing that indeed had me perk up—actually, in two ways now—as the movie had unintentionally reminded me that there were monsters out there trying to kill us too, and not just other people... If I could defend myself properly in any situation, though—as we were practicing—that thought was less worrisome.

Now I was looking forward to our continued training even more...

I felt really nervous on the day itself that Sephiroth was said to return from the Costa del Sol mission.

'No idea if I'll be able to “welcome him back 'Cloud style'”... But if not after class, then after FT tomorrow for sure.' I smiled to myself.

I'd definitely try to give the General a kiss... maybe on the side of his neck, and since he couldn't expect that, he couldn't prevent it. 'A truly evil masterplan.' I cackled silently at my own joke.

I'd disguise it as a simple hug... 'Well, after all that has been happening between us, I don't expect him to mind, anyway...' Even without giving that specific thought further depth, I still felt my face heat up.

Sephiroth himself had certainly never attempted anything in person, for whichever reason. '… and me neither because I'm too much of a chicken wuss since I don't want to be rejected...' I added in my thoughts. However, now, after what had happened last week...

I was already sad that it had gotten quiet between us since then, but I guessed he just wanted to enjoy the rest of the “vacation” and concentrate on his mission—with his girlfriend also being around. Zack had somewhat hinted the night before that she apparently was accustomed to fighting as well, so maybe she even was on his team... I certainly didn’t want to think about it.

Neither that, nor the possibility that he was texting me less now because... he thought we had gone too far.

I scrunched up my face. The chances of that happening were most definitely present—although the other day, when I had asked if we could repeat “that” sometime, his reply with added winking smileys had sounded pretty enthusiastic.

Now I really felt like re-reading the whole thing... erm, that day... but I couldn’t really afford a boner on the way to theory class, which I was just reaching.

The class itself took place in the same facility—even the same room—as the 3rd Class one, just at different times, mostly after or before lunch breaks, with a few exceptions if the instructors were busy then. Therefore, I would choose the same seat as usual: in the middle of the first row. It made me feel a bit nerdy, being so close to the instructor and trying to answer most questions asked, but I just felt like being close to him.

As soon as I entered, I was glomped by Zack. “Spike! Good to see ya again, it’s been at least half a day!”

I smiled, hugging him back in a less bone-crushing way... and let out a short squeal when he squeezed me even harder.

By the time he finally let go of me and his spiky head moved away from the whiteboard... I saw him.

My heart started beating faster immediately. It felt so surreal that this man had done... that... with me... 'Oh god, I must be blushing so hard right now', I thought, and quickly wiped my warm face.

The eyes that laid on me when my arms lowered again... were astonishingly glowy blue-green.

“Hey!” I spat out without hesitation.

“Hey,” he actually smiled at me, and I felt the blush creep up again. For some reason, I still couldn’t believe what we had done. My brain just couldn’t process it. It still felt like it had all been a dream... But that was probably for the best, since I was sure that otherwise, I’d be jumping around screaming from joy. Such a situation was certainly completely foreign to me...

I sat down in the first row now... and to my surprise, Sephiroth stepped up to me and asked how my “holidays” free of Field Training had been.

“Horrible, of course,” I exaggerated. “I’m sure I’ve forgotten everything by now...” I grinned when the General nudged my arm.

“Don’t be silly. I’m sure you’re still as great as before the mission.”

My eyes widened considerably as I gazed up at him. “Great?”

He looked around for a second, then he slowly leaned down to whisper, “Well, there certainly are worse students...” I was suddenly very aware of the close proximity and the strand of silver hair brushing my cheek, belonging to the man leaning over me. “No, you’re really doing fine, don’t worry.”

I gulped, but managed to nod. “Th... thanks,” I muttered and grinned—a bit sad that he was already moving back up. The nice scent of his cologne and his breath still tickled my nose...

“Hey, Spike, see you later! Still got some stuff to do,” Zack waved at me from the door. Apparently, what he meant was “Let’s go hang out later.” At least that’s what I concluded from his wink.

My raven-haired friend had been fairly quiet SMS-wise lately, but I figured that aside from paperwork, he was probably spending most of his time texting his girlfriend—or even meeting her.

As for the lesson, which had started by now, it hadn’t taken long for my thoughts to wander back to that day. Now that I could finally look at him again, all the imagining started, as I checked out his backside the whole time he was writing on the whiteboard... his face when he was talking, or checking something on his laptop... My pants never even stood a chance, so I did my best to fight it by crossing my legs—and, once they went numb, putting my bag on my lap.

With every step he took, every movement he made... I melted in my seat. I had to see it again, with my own eyes. So I quietly pulled up my phone, hands still below the table. I clicked our conversation, scrolled a bit... and there it was. Our kinky conversation.

I looked up to Sephiroth, who was explaining the basics about 2nd Class material—then back down to my phone. Up to Sephiroth. Down to my phone.

That was the first time the realness of the situation hit me hard. This was no dream—unless dreams could stretch over many days. Countless arm-pinches should have told me otherwise, but... seeing him and this text in the same scene made me painfully aware of the truth in this.

We were real people. He was. In all his glory... the almighty General Sephiroth. Perfection in every fight, every movement, every sentence, every turn of his head, every blink of his eyes, every breath he took... screamed of what a god he was. And he had been all mine. At least for that night, and a few hours before it, he had wanted me. Needed me. Me...

I looked down at myself, seeing the slightest bit of muscle forming beneath my shirt, and my upper arms full of cuts and bruises from Military Training. Skin pale as a corpse’s, hair impossible and untameable. When I searched for anything outstanding about my body, I was mostly left in the dark.

Despite all of this... he wanted me. And that was the biggest gift I had ever received in my life. I felt fulfilled beyond all limits—to have the man of my dreams... wanting me.

TThis was no dream, no fantasy of mine. It didn’t involve me closing my eyes in order for it to happen... he had really done it. All of it. Until the very end, with me...

I almost didn’t notice my eyes watering from disbelief. My heart, my mind... all of it was completely his. I blinked the tears away hastily, writing down some of the things the General said, to not appear suspicious.

Fortunately, my silent outburst in class had remained unnoticed, and it had helped calm down even the most rebellious parts of me—and thankfully so, because I got called to Sephiroth’s desk after the lesson.

I was about to worry that he had seen anything, when he passed me a paper.

“Does tomorrow at three sound alright to you? I know that you have Military Training in the mornings now, so I save the afternoon and evening missions for Seconders most of the time.”

My eyebrows shot up as my eyes widened. “Yes! I’m all free...” I saved adding 'for you' at the end, since there were still other students in the room, waiting for the General. “I’m looking forward to it! Although I’m a bit afraid that I won’t remember anything...”

“You’ll be fine, I know that.” He patted my shoulder in an act of reassurance, making a smile form on my lips.

“If you think so...” I teased, sticking out my tongue and turning to leave. I knew I wasn’t going to get any more body contact with anyone else being around, so I chose to be content with the pat. There would be more tomorrow, after all. At three, to be exact...

The afternoon was a lot more uneventful for me – I had to get my new 2nd Class books from the library – among a lot of other people needing books, since this place wasn't open on Fridays and Sundays. For whatever reason, they replaced Saturday with Friday... maybe it was a ShinRa thing. I knew that planned missions would usually start on a Sunday, so it'd probably be open as a “last chance” on Saturday. I would know more soon, now having some missions ahead as well...

Two hours of standing in a row made sense to me as I noticed when it was my turn. Apparently, some hacker had managed to delete the student files of the library database – therefore, they had to manually re-enter everyone, as well as their book information. I had already passed my 3rd Class ones back two weeks ago, but they asked me for my confirmation stamp on a page of my ID anyway. There it was, a small stamp with a signature in my “3rd Class” box. After letting them note down everything, I got my new books for this Rank and was able to leave once they had noted them down as well.

With those in my messenger bag, I made my way back to our home. “Our” home not for long anymore – since Sephiroth was back now, my roommate probably would be as well. Okay, flatmate, as they called it now. The common room was still shared, though... I chose to poke Zack about it later.

Speaking of him, he wasn't there yet when I returned. I picked up his fallen sheets of paper, putting them back onto the coffee table, where they... didn’t really belong, but no one could tell Zack that.

When I took off my jacket, I noticed the small paper that fell out – confirming my next FT tomorrow...

Excitement filled me when I thought about it. Now I only had to find a way to kill time until then. Studying followed by some TV sounded good...

I woke up when someone returned later at night, the digital clock informed me that it was past midnight. “Zack?” I called, half rolling out of the bed. I still had to ask about that flatmate... I would at least want to say bye to him, as I would see him and his friends less again.

“Ya?” he muttered, exhausted from work. Without a second thought if I could possibly be naked, he entered my room.

“Just wanted to ask about my flatmate. When's he going to move in?”

“Ohh,” Zack blinked, tired look in his eyes confirming my musings. “Don't know, haven't heard anything yet. I'll stay 'til he kicks my ass out!” he grinned then, moving back to the door as I nodded. “Night!”

A loud yawn before he closed the door. “Night, Spike!”

I had been unsure whether to attend Military Training when I had Field Training today as well... but I already hadn't gone the day before, so I told myself that there was no escape.

My impression was that I was already getting better, even though I never brought a watch or my phone along, and the course order changed every day. Starting with mud crawling and swimming didn't make the climbing and other activities after any easier, since heavy, wet and cold clothes could be a big hindrance. All of that was part of the training, though. If you slipped down a climbing rock and hit your head, you'd get shouted at by Angeal for being a failure, followed by a shameful dragging to the makeshift infirmary up here.

'To think that I've hugged this man...', I felt a bead of sweat roll down my temple, staring at the battle-painted cheeks and furious eyes as I passed him. Someone had gotten stuck on a large thorny vine and was now verbally getting his ass kicked by the instructor. Before I could let out a chuckle when I remembered him blushing over Zack's banana penis action – strawberry jam pancake on a fork in his hand – he cast me a deathglare as well, and I made a run for it.

Chapter Text

For some reason, I was both eager and nervous about this next Field Training. Eager—because I’d finally get to see Sephiroth again, up close, after his vacation. Nervous—because I wasn’t sure how my body would react if I started thinking about what had happened between us... or what I planned to do at the end of the lesson.

My mind, thankfully, had a few distractions to cling to. Starting today, I’d be undergoing a new kind of Field Training—one that involved actual threats. Real or projected enemies that could actually hurt me, as well as intense simulations: night missions in unfamiliar terrain, high-altitude operations with thinner air (not exactly new to me), and even swimming and diving training. The more dangerous elements—like underwater combat and volcanic zones—were scheduled for later. Probably closer to my 1st Class exam, which, if things went well, wouldn’t be until sometime mid-next year.

As for what we'd be doing today, I had no clue. Sephiroth hadn’t explained any details.

This time, we were using a different training facility just behind the theoretical lessons building. Its exterior was imposing: tall, dark iron walls that stretched up about fifteen meters. At first glance, I thought it might be a multi-story structure, but when I showed my license to the guard and stepped inside, I realized it was all one enormous level. A simulation facility, most likely. From the outside, it hadn’t seemed that tall—so maybe the ceiling height was designed to accommodate complex scenery setups.

Through a half-open door, I glimpsed a bit of the interior. Props had been arranged to mimic real terrain: jagged cliffs, a shimmering pool, and other environments partially hidden behind structural dividers. The mountain and water zones looked like the kind of thing you’d tackle near the end of a course. The pool in particular caught my eye—it was massive. I’d never seen one that size in a ShinRa training building. Swimming wasn’t exactly my strong suit, and underwater combat even less so. I mentally filed that away as something to be anxious about later.

Based on what I saw, and comparing it to the building’s outer width, there had to be at least three or four individual simulation rooms.

‘They’re not playing around with this…’ I thought. ‘Well, makes sense. We're meant to represent ShinRa after all—and nothing matters more to them than image.’

Before I could start heading down the dimly lit hallway, a door at the far end slid open—and out walked a flood of silver hair attached to a tall, slender figure.

My heart instantly kicked up its pace. I forced myself to think about fighting ugly monsters. Or puppies. Not fighting puppies, though. Anything to keep myself from remembering our texts—or, worse, what we did. The last thing I needed was to clutch my sports bag for... emergency coverage.

He nodded at me with that cool, unreadable smile of his, casually raising Masamune in a sort of wave. The blade, graceful and absurdly long, sliced through the air so fast that I barely caught it before I noticed the potted plant beside him now had fewer leaves than before. A few spiraled to the floor in slow motion. I decided not to comment.

What mattered more: he stepped forward and opened his arms.

Weapon sheathed in a single swift motion, he welcomed me into a hug.

I dropped my bag. My arms rose almost instinctively—wrapping around his sides, then sliding up his back, hands pressing to the space between his shoulder blades. I pulled him close and nuzzled my cheek lightly against the front of his chest. Warm. Familiar. Unmistakably him.

Now this I couldn't be without...

“Hello to you too,” he said with a soft chuckle, his palm resting on top of my head as he ruffled my hair gently.

Gods, how I’d missed him. His scent, his voice, the feel of him right next to me... everything. I wanted to give him the “Cloud style-welcome back" right then and there—a sneak-attack. But shyness overtook me, and before I could make a move, he was already stepping back.

'Definitely have to do it when I'm leaving, though... if I do it next time, it'll just look weird to do a late “welcome back”...'

“Ready for your first 2nd Class lesson?” he asked.

I nodded eagerly, slinging my bag back over my shoulder before heading toward the changing rooms Sephiroth had pointed out. 'Shame he doesn’t get changed here himself...'

One thing I hadn’t realized was that Sephiroth would be observing me from a small control room above, with a perfect view of everything I did. Not that I was unprepared—far from it. I’d been secretly practicing the moves from our previous lessons during my own little ‘private Field Training’ sessions. The only thing missing in those, of course, was the General himself.

And apparently, everything involving him was a hundred times more exciting.

“There’s not much to explain,” he told me once I was back and ready. “It’s essentially the same as our usual training—only this time, the environments are realistic, and the enemies can actually hurt you. If anything goes wrong, just shout. I’ll stop the program immediately.”

I nodded, filing the instructions away, feeling that faint but growing buzz of anticipation.

“I won't be too hard on you, since it's your first time—” he started, eyes catching mine for the briefest second—and in that instant, my breath hitched, lips parting slightly—“and also since you haven’t had formal training in a while.”

My eyes widened slightly as I noticed his gaze flick upward toward the control room. Had he said it that way on purpose? The words lingered just long enough to trigger a slow wave of heat rising in my chest. I scrambled to derail the spiraling thoughts with the first question that came to mind.

“So, um... I could use my own sword now?”

He looked back at me, face unreadable, the silence between us thick for a second too long. 'Woops... that didn't sound awkward at all.'

I fumbled for clarification. “I mean, I didn’t really need one before, since after I was allowed to, we were mostly focusing on Materia...”

That seemed to do the trick. His expression shifted, lips curling ever so slightly into a smirk. He took a slow step toward me, arm moving—

Panic surged, but I held still. I wasn’t about to flinch. He stopped beside me and turned with a whisper of movement, leaning just close enough for his breath to brush my ear. “Or you could,” he murmured, smooth as silk, causing me to squeak almost inaudibly “...use my sword.”

The Masamune slid from its sheath without a sound, and his hand gently grazed my arm.

I gasped—whether at the words, the contact, or both, I didn’t know. Probably both.

He chuckled, low and amused. 'He's toying with me... Wait, what? In person?!'

A certain twitch had me holding my breath for a few seconds, just to... get things under control again.

Luckily, he spared me the embarrassment of fumbling through a reply.

“Unless, of course, you want to use a newbie training sword. I noticed you didn’t bring your own—or did you?”

“Uh...” I glanced around, pointlessly, as if it might appear out of thin air. “No... I, uh, totally forgot. I’m sorry.”

His eyes—bright with mako, impossible to read—bored into me as he extended his legendary Ōdachi toward my hand. “...So?”

I swallowed. The moment felt strangely ceremonial. Honored, I reached out with my right hand and wrapped my fingers around the hilt. It was heavier than I expected—longer than any sword I’d handled before. I wouldn’t be surprised if most people struggled to wield it properly.

“Try a few swings,” he said, likely reading the uncertainty on my face. “Stand the way you would with the Buster Sword.”

I nodded and shifted into a stance, spreading my legs for balance. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Sephiroth taking a few measured steps back. Probably just in case.

I was about to chuckle—until my first swing made me stumble forward slightly. “Whoa!”

“Careful,” he warned, stepping toward me again. “The length makes it hard to control for a beginner. Wait.”

He came up behind me. Before I could process it, I felt his body press against mine, arms sliding around to mirror my grip—his hands resting over mine.

I forgot how to breathe.

Was this real? Had I somehow managed to make him act like this with me? In person?

With a precise nudge of his boot, he kicked the side of my right foot, adjusting its placement. Then he moved my arms, guiding my left one closer to my body. “The left arm gives you stability. The right controls the motion.”

His hands applied gentle but firm pressure as he led us through a small swing, our bodies moving in sync. I tried not to think about the contact. About the warmth of him pressed to my back. About the weight of his hand over mine.

I needed every ounce of willpower—and vivid memories of Zack’s hairy back—to keep my mind from short-circuiting completely.

“See?”

I didn't see much, but I was pretty sure he would see my beet red face when he let go of me a second later.

My luck, he picked up his notebook instead.

Suddenly, I felt a question bubble up inside me.

“Do you let every student use your Masamune?”

The words escaped before I could check them. The idea of him getting this close to anyone else left a bitter taste in my mouth. I didn’t like sharing. Even if, technically, he wasn’t mine to begin with.

He didn’t answer. Just turned and started up the stairs.

But before he disappeared behind the corner, he paused—and without turning back, said simply: “No.”

I let out a quiet sigh of relief, thankful he was out of hearing range. Butterflies immediately launched a full aerial assault in my stomach as I gently ran my fingers over the hilt. 'So maybe no one else has held this? Just him and me?' Then again, I remembered asking if he would let every student use it... not if I was the only one. Mental curses directed at myself.

I could unravel that later. Right now, I had Field Training to get through. And with this weapon, I was ready to love every minute of it.

From the looks of it, Sephiroth had access to a control panel and headset up there, just like mine—though his was for issuing commands, and mine for receiving them.

I switched mine on and gave him a thumbs-up. He returned a nod, and the moment he did, the space around me transformed. Streets and buildings sprang up in place of the training hall—an entire urban simulation blooming to life around me. I stared for a second, awed, before movement ahead caught my attention.

A monster approached. Small. Familiar.

Taking my stance, I awaited its arrival, before slashing it in two. The drop of blood hitting my cheek subtly let me know that this now was reality, and they really kept monsters in here—in some way. The next one, a bit bigger this time, was already approaching. I took it down with ease again.

“Nice,” Sephiroth’s voice came through the headset, steady and calm. “For this mission, you'll be running an infiltration simulation in an urban area. This is referred to as 'Urban Field Training.' Your task is to protect the civilians—don’t worry, they're not real—from enemy forces and eliminate all monsters. They’ll increase in strength over time, so don’t get careless. That’s all. Any questions?”

“No, sir!” I responded with a salute and jogged into the streets.

By the time the last boss—a massive tank-like robot—collapsed in a heap of sparking metal, a sharp beep echoed through the hall, signaling the end of the session.

I stood there panting, sweat dripping down my face as I wiped my brow. My arms ached from the weight of the Masamune, but adrenaline kept the fatigue at bay.

Now I understood why people feared this weapon.

It wasn’t just long and heavy. It had a presence—an aura—that felt like it wanted to destroy. Like it had a will of its own. Controlling it had taken more than just physical strength; it had taken willpower. Focus. Not every blow had landed cleanly, and adapting to its length had been a steep challenge—but I’d held my own.

When Sephiroth descended the stairs without a word, my chest tightened. Had I done something wrong?

But then he saw my anxious expression—and his gaze softened.

“Very good,” he said at last. “Almost perfect. Really, that was above my expectations. Don’t tell me you’ve been secretly practicing?”

I lit up, beaming at the praise. “Thank you!” My hand moved to the back of my neck, a nervous habit. “I did, a little. Just going over the stuff we did in our previous trainings. I didn’t know about today at all. Oh—!”

I quickly held the Masamune out to him, careful and respectful. “Thank you so much for letting me use this. It was amazing. But I think… it might still be a bit too much for me. I mean, it’s powerful, but it kind of feels like I’m swinging a living force of destruction. I don’t think I’m quite there yet…”

I was definitely blushing again. Or overheating. Probably both.

“Yeah. Go take a shower while I evaluate the results. Shouldn’t take long,” he said, moving to sit on the bench near the door.

I don’t think anyone in Shinra history has ever made it to the showers at 60 km/h before.

But I had a plan to follow—and no time to waste.

Since I really didn’t want to miss this chance, I was in and out of the shower—and fully dressed again—within ten minutes. When I returned to the hall, Sephiroth had just stood up from the bench.

Now came the part that made my heart pound harder.

This was going to be an invasion of personal space. And even though I’d joked about it in a message—telling him I’d welcome him back “Cloud style”—I had only done that to give myself an excuse. So it wouldn’t be too embarrassing when the moment came.

Which meant… I had to follow through. Today.

Now back in my civilian clothes, I walked toward him. My timing had to be perfect—there was only one real opportunity.

There would be no second chances. It was now or never.

He turned slightly, just enough to see me from the corner of his eye. My heart skipped a beat—but I kept my cool. When I stopped in front of him, he spoke first.

“All right, we’re done for today. Once again, great job. I’ll text you the next training.”

He smiled.

I smiled back.

And we both leaned in—for a hug.

It took everything I had to gather the courage. But I did it.

“Oh yeah, my personal ‘welcome back’ for you,” I said casually, proud of how steady my voice was.

Then I tilted my head to the right—toward his neck—and pressed my lips against it.

Just a soft kiss. Quick, but real.

When I pulled back, a grin spread across my face. I almost didn’t want to look at him, but I had to know how he’d react.

His response?

A short, sheepish laugh… and, “Okay, see you tomorrow in class, then.”

And with that, he was gone—out the door, fast.

I blinked, unsure if that counted as a success. The tingling on my lips said yes. So did the fluttering in my chest. But the speed with which he’d left? That sent mixed signals.

'Maybe he's just in a rush...', I reasoned, heading back to my dorm.

All the way there, my mind spun in circles—around the feel of his skin, the warmth of him, the scent that still lingered faintly in my nose. I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to kiss him longer… to feel that same closeness again, but deeper.

And yet, even now, a thrill ran through me.

I’d done it. I’d actually done it. Kissed him.

The General.

I couldn’t imagine many people having the nerve—maybe Zack, with his playful affection toward everyone, but never like this. Never with this weight behind it.

Because for me, it wasn’t just teasing. It wasn’t a joke or passing whim.

There was something more. Something I didn’t want to name just yet, but… was it love?

Every time I thought about his smile, his voice, his eyes—his hugs—I felt joy so pure, it was almost too much to hold. I was addicted to it, to him. I didn’t care about rumors or past mistakes or flaws he might have. I wanted all of it. All of him.

When I finally collapsed onto my bed, I closed my eyes and brought the moment back—the brush of my lips on his skin.

It had been something small.

But it made me feel like we were closer now, even if his reaction had left me a little confused.

After everything that had happened between us lately, I didn’t exactly expect him to reciprocate. Not publicly. Not near the main entrance. And even if there were hidden cameras, it couldn’t have looked like more than a regular hug… right?

The thought of him having taken it badly crept in—but I pushed it away.

Especially when I heard Zack return.

“Heeyy!” he called out cheerfully, like he could sense the shift in my mood, and came in for a hug.

I smiled and returned it.

“Ohh, what happened? Big smile on Spike’s face today?” he teased, ruffling my hair.

I scrambled for a believable answer. “Yeah, I had a great success in my first Urban Field Training!”

Zack let out a whistle and gave me a thumbs up. “Woow, nice! How about we celebrate with some videogames?”

“Let’s go!” I grinned, already anticipating a long night of laughter and fun.

Still, as we settled in for the evening, one thought remained with me—burning quietly beneath the surface.

The kiss on Sephiroth’s neck.

A tingling feeling never left my lips that day.

Chapter Text

I walked into the small entry hall of the 2nd Class theory training facility, smiling widely. In my head, thoughts suddenly drifted to what Sephiroth and I had done in our SMS two weeks ago—as well as the kiss on his soft neck just a few days back—and I fought hard to keep my mind away from the details. Nonetheless, I was really happy to have my second Urban Field Training with my instructor today.

The last one I had passed brilliantly, and I was looking forward to this continuation.

He had asked me to meet him at the small administration building first to check over some documents, so I headed there eagerly.

However, when I saw bagged vegetables on the table in the entrance hall and a woman I hadn’t seen before standing beside Sephiroth’s chair, talking to him, I felt a little confused.

My first thought was that he had probably been shopping. My second thought was that the woman might be...

Since they wouldn’t just let anyone dump their groceries on Sephiroth’s table, that could only mean... ‘… his girlfriend?’

I froze immediately. My instructor gave me a short wave and went on talking to the woman beside him—carefree and smiling the whole time—which Sephiroth did not do a lot. Not like that.

He pointed at the chair in front of him, implying that I should sit down. My eyes wandered to the woman again—she had brown, curly hair, looked a bit older than Sephiroth, and—what I absolutely couldn’t stand—had her hand on his shoulder.

They both chuckled while talking like old friends—about the weather today, some mutual friends at SOLDIER...

I quietly took a seat, pretending to look outside, while I was all ears for their conversation, trying to figure out who she was.

“Oh, where did Zack put the broom? Ah, I’ve got it!” she said, while Sephiroth browsed through the papers in front of him.

‘So either it’s his girlfriend helping out with the office here... or a cleaning lady...’ I concluded, staring at my lap.

“By the way, how’s your engagement going?” she chirped happily… while inside my body, everything clenched tight.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Sephiroth turn slightly in his chair, then answer: “Everything’s fine. I think we’re going to do it next Monday.”

The cleaning lady or janitress or whatever the hell she was “Aww'ed” loudly, followed by, “Wow, that's beautiful! I wish you two the best of luck!”

“Thanks,” the General chuckled, returning to his papers again.

I felt like I was going to be sick. The air in my lungs was stuck, and I couldn’t even breathe out. I literally felt like throwing up my breakfast. It was like that first time he had mentioned his girlfriend—only now it felt a thousand times worse.

It was as if the floor had shifted under me, like I’d been walking on solid ground only to realize it was glass all along, and now I could see the drop beneath. My thoughts scattered in every direction, but each one came back sharp, cutting the inside of my skull. I didn’t know where to put my eyes, my hands, or myself. The room felt smaller, too close, and yet I couldn’t move to get out of it.

I was painfully aware that this wasn’t a joke between them anymore. This was real. There was no breaking up anytime soon...

And that was what made me feel sick as hell.

“Sorry for the distraction, Cloud. I wanted you to sign this 2nd Class contract again so you’ll gain access to the Materia as well. Finally corrected it to have the right birth date. After that, we can start.” He placed a neatly stacked collection of papers in front of me, pointing out two spots for me to sign.

While I hadn’t even been aware that such a paper existed—let alone had the wrong date—that was secondary now.

I signed mindlessly while Sephiroth waved the woman goodbye as she left the room.

'It's probably better to pretend I didn’t hear… Or should I congratulate him?' I felt genuinely unsure, but decided to stay quiet for now.

Once the paperwork was done, we each headed to our respective rooms—mine being the dressing room—before meeting again in the training area.

Just like last time, we were simulating an infiltration of a city. My task: protect civilians and eliminate all enemies.

“Okay, I’ll give you instructions from the second-floor room again,” he said, handing me the headset before heading for the stairs. “Same as before, just different enemies.”

I nodded and put on the equipment, Buster Sword in my right hand. Sadly, not Masamune this time... though once had already been more than I’d ever dared expect.

For the first few minutes, I did my best not to think about Sephiroth’s fiancée. But after about half an hour—and a few sharp scoldings from the General, including one after nearly decapitating a civilian—he shut off the holographics.

“Cloud Strife,” he began, and I immediately dropped my head, eyes fixed on the floor.

“You’re not concentrating properly today... It's as if you were daydreaming or something. You have to get whatever it is of your head,” Sephiroth said evenly.

I gave a bitter smile and nodded. 'Easier said than done... after what I just heard...' The memory of that conversation still churned in my stomach. Part of me hoped the General could somehow relate... but he kept up his usual professionalism, keeping that wall between us. And it hurt.

It hurt now, just as it had before—and now I knew it was only going to hurt more from here on.

Still... I couldn't let myself give up hope just yet.

Before Sephiroth could ask what was bothering me, I cut in, “Sorry. Just having a bad day, I guess... It happens.”

“Fine, but remember—you can’t let personal emotions interfere during battle. That can, and will, put other SOLDIERs at risk. Even civilians,” he finished, then booted up the program again.

I reached for my sword—only then realizing I’d dropped it at some point—and gave a small, resigned nod. “I’m sorry, Sir. Next time will be better. I promise.”

At least… that was what I hoped.

This time, I managed to suppress the worst of the thoughts, just enough to avoid any major mistakes... but smaller ones crept in. Cuts, bruises, imperfect footwork—signs of distraction—and I could tell Sephiroth was getting more and more irritated. He didn’t say anything at first, but I could feel it, somehow.

Unsurprisingly, at the end of the lesson, there was far more criticism than praise. Something I hadn’t experienced from him before.

For the first time, Sephiroth told me to go back and review the training material on this topic. “I had hoped we’d move on to the next unit next week… but after today, I think it’s best to repeat this one. Is that okay with you?”

“Mhh,” I nodded, weakly. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You do have talent, but today I didn’t see the improvement I expected—at least not compared to last week. It’s just better for you to really understand this. Repeating the lesson will help you internalize it more effectively.”

He had already packed up his materials and was scribbling something into his notebook.

“It’s okay, you’re right, I get it... I’ll do better next time.” I also began packing my things—my bag, my sword—wanting nothing more than to just leave.

Or more than that... I wanted him to hug me, to tell me the engagement was a joke. That I had misunderstood it somehow…

“Hey.”

I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw a man in red walk into the room.

Genesis... He now stood beside Sephiroth, and I took it as my cue to leave. 'Without a hug...'

They greeted each other, and I heard Sephiroth mumble his usual: “Take care on the way home. I’ll text you the next appointment.”

So I headed to the locker room to change and made my way back to the dorms.

The whole way there, I had to fight the tears prickling at my eyes. No—today had definitely not gone well...

After that disaster, everything went downhill. My planned studies for 1st Class were tossed beside the bed as I flopped onto it, determined to make full use of my new 2nd Class privilege: the TV.

At that point, I was willing to do anything to get my mind off what had happened—off how sick I felt—but it wasn’t exactly easy. For once, I was grateful for the electronic distraction I’d assumed I’d barely use until I made 1st.

TV had never appealed to me that much, but now I had no other choice. If I tried to study in this state, I’d probably end up tearing all my papers apart.

“... And you don't seem to understand... A shame you seemed an honest man...”

My stomach sank with a heaviness I couldn’t quite shake, like the words themselves had pressed on my chest. I shifted my gaze from the ceiling—which I hadn’t even realized I was staring at—toward the TV as a series intro caught my attention, my eyes feeling dry and glassy from being fixed in one place for too long.

“And all the fears you hold so dear... Will turn to whisper in your ear...”

The lyrics sounded strangely familiar, their tone wrapping around me like a slow, tightening rope. I found myself leaning forward slightly, as if hearing them more clearly might somehow make sense of the mess in my head.

“And you know what they say might hurt you, and you know that it means so much... And you don't even feel a thing...”

'True... Zack would’ve probably told me I shouldn’t have tried with Sephiroth...' The thought twisted in my gut like a blade. 'Maybe the General only did all of it for fun. Maybe he doesn’t care at all about how I feel...' My breathing grew shallow without me noticing. My throat felt tight, as if I was about to choke. I hadn’t noticed the wetness in my eyes until a tear slid down my chin, startling me—almost as if my own body had betrayed me by showing what I was trying so hard to keep inside.

“I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning, help me to breathe ...”

I curled up into a ball now, hugging my shins until my arms trembled from the strain, biting down on my lip hard and letting the tears fall freely. My heart felt like it was both hollow and too full at once—an impossible ache. The ache in my chest felt unbearable—like I might actually be sick. My insides were twisted up into knots, the kind that couldn’t be undone, no matter how much I tried to reason with myself.

Just thinking about him made me feel worse than anything else possibly could. Until now, it had all felt perfect. Like maybe I still had a chance with him... After the recent texting and kiss...

How could it have gone so wrong?

“I am hurting, I have lost it all, I am losing... Help me to breathe...”

A sob escaped me, raw and unguarded, as I pulled my knees in tighter. I really was drowning. That was the only way to describe it... Drowning in self-hate, in endless “What if”s, in the gnawing fear that I had ruined everything. Craving nothing more than for someone to hold me. To tell me that today had just been a bad dream.

But I knew one man who definitely wouldn’t be doing that.

The silence that followed the fading lyrics was almost worse than the song itself—like the room was holding its breath, waiting for me to shatter. My chest heaved, my mind clawing for something, anything, to hold onto, but every thought seemed to circle back to him. To that look in his eyes earlier today. To the way he hadn’t reached for me, hadn’t said anything to ease the sting.

The more I replayed it, the more it felt like the world was narrowing around me.

When I dug my nails into my arm and saw the cuts left behind by the terrible Field Training earlier, I knew none of this was a dream. The sting bloomed sharp and real against my skin, almost grounding—almost. The stinging pain in my skin didn’t even compare to the pain inside, so I pressed my nails in harder against the wounded flesh, needing something physical to drown out the rest. 'How could I have been so stupid... To think he wanted me...' My eyes were already burning from the tears, the heat of shame radiating outward until my whole face felt hot.

I finally let go of my now bleeding arm and stared at it, chest still rising and falling too fast.

'Get your shit together, Cloud...' I growled at myself, the words barely more than a whisper in the empty room. My fingers trembled as I began wiping my eyes, digging through my bag for the Cure Materia to heal my arm. When I couldn’t find it, a strange thought crept in—quiet but persistent. 'I could just leave the wounds like this... It’s nothing serious, anyway.'

I closed my eyes, the throbbing helping to scatter some of the darker thoughts, but not all of them. 'Besides... this pain actually distracts me a little.'

Anyone who saw me right now would’ve said I looked absolutely miserable. Bloody fingernails and arm, a tear-soaked shirt, red eyes... And worst of all, I’d have to sit through his class tomorrow morning.

So I decided to take a quick shower, hoping—somehow—that it might wash away the pain too...

The sleep I’d been hoping for came late—too late. The stinging wounds reminded me of the horrifying news from that morning. To maintain my sanity, I tried to pretend that nothing had happened. I told myself I’d just send him a nice text later today, or talk to him after class... I kept repeating that things between us wouldn't change. That lie, repeated over and over, was the only way I managed to fall asleep at 4 am.

That my lesson was at 8 didn't help much, as the bags under my eyes were barely concealable with the means a man possessed. My sleep had been restless and uneasy, riddled with nightmares that kept waking me up.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt pretty terrible. I would have thought that sleep would help me forget—but no one had warned me about the dreams. The one where Sephiroth was holding their engagement ring, of all things... that one stuck with me. Just the memory of it made me nauseous.

I carried that heaviness through my whole morning routine, all the way up until the time I was supposed to head to early class. Now that Sephiroth was back from his trip, I should have been glad he was teaching again. But even though today’s topic was new to me and I could have used the insight, I honestly didn’t feel like going at all.

‘What if I just skip it? I could always catch the repeat next time it comes up in rotation...’

A small part of me still clung to hope. ‘Maybe things will have improved by then...’
It felt foolish, but it was all I had to hold on to at this point.

Since I still looked like a wreck—with the bags under my eyes making me appear about 10 years older—I decided it was better to stay in, make myself a calm breakfast, and train by myself for a while.

The next lesson the following day went about as I had expected. Not wanting to risk an emotional breakdown in plain sight, I chose a seat in the third row on the far right near the window.

Unlike most times before, Sephiroth didn’t acknowledge my presence—not once during the entire lesson. If he’d even noticed it at all.

My only hope had been that he might call me over afterward for our next appointment—or for anything, really. But he didn’t. And I didn’t have the will, or the energy, to stand in the line of SOLDIERs waiting to ask him questions.

I wasn’t even sure what I’d wanted from him calling me forward. A look? A few words? I think I was just desperate for any sign that what we had wasn’t gone—that we still could go back to what we were before.

But no such sign came. So I left, tail tucked between my legs.

Only later that night did I finally receive my next appointment from Sephiroth: *Tomorrow 8 am. Greetings, Sephiroth*

Opening that SMS felt strange now. Where there used to be a flutter in my chest at seeing his name light up my screen, there was only a knot in my stomach. When I scrolled up, I noticed how little we’d spoken in the past days—or more than that, really. And even then, our exchanges had been clipped, short, and impersonal. Professional.

It hurt. It made me feel sick. But I reminded myself that I had to stay focused on my training. So I did what he had told me to do—I sat down to review the material from our last lesson.

After all, I still wanted to Rank up.
Still wanted to impress him...

So I pushed through the study session, even when my mind kept drifting off and I had to reread the same sentences multiple times.

It was overwhelming. It all was. But I knew I had to persevere.

Even if my chest ached every time I thought about that morning, even about that nightmare at the altar... even if I couldn’t tell whether I was more angry or sad... even if I felt alone again, after everything—we had an appointment tomorrow.

And I would be there.

Whatever happened next... I would face it.

Chapter Text

Today's Field Training only went a little better than the last one – the thoughts of him getting married were just hard to push out of my mind. Still, since I didn’t want to repeat the same lesson endlessly, I gave myself a mental kick to pass it just well enough for us to be able to continue. Once again, I got an unpleasant cut from one of the enemies – this time near my ankle.

When it happened, I didn’t flinch, so Sephiroth didn’t mention it during the briefing afterward. I had pulled my sock and pant leg over it while he was still getting down from his observatory position. “Out of sight, out of mind,” I told myself, though it still burned.

As stupid as it sounded – at this point, I was just keeping those cuts and bruises because the pain distracted me from thinking about painful things regarding the General. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but everything was too much, and... I really didn’t have another solution.

There was nobody, and I mean nobody, I could talk to about this. Not my mother, not Zack, not Kunsel, obviously not the other two instructors who were closest to Sephiroth – as kind as they were...

I just felt helpless and alone with those feelings, unable to sort them.

Right now, it was hard for me to even look at the man without imagining him in a wedding tuxedo, so I averted my gaze as much as possible.

He must’ve noticed, since usually, I was all eyes for him whenever he was nearby. If he noticed, however, he didn’t mention it.

His next student arrived early again – not that I had been in any shape to even dream of a hug, so I was off right then.

Looking at the time, I figured I would skip today’s theoretical class with Sephiroth, which would have been right after this, and head towards Angeal’s Military Training instead. I felt like toughening myself up would also help me get my thoughts off bad things.

... And getting my thoughts off him, it did.

I hadn’t taken my cuts into account when doing those extremely challenging physical activities – the one on my ankle got especially nasty when I tried to climb a rocky surface after having endured half a mud-bath already. The wound had of course reopened, and after slipping and scraping it against one of the sharp boulders, I felt warm blood seeping into my sock and shoe again.

A grunt escaped my mouth as I did my best not to block the way for those behind me while scrambling up the rest of the incline. Angeal’s sharp eyes caught my weakness easily and retaliated with his signature MT-instructor bark, which snapped me back to reality.

While his shouting – directed at everyone, not just me – kept echoing in my ears for the rest of the lap, I still knew he was just doing his job. It wasn’t personal.

In fact, when I passed him on my way out of the showers later, he stopped me.

“Let me see that foot,” he ordered, arms crossed.

I hesitated. Admitting to a mistake like that so openly wasn’t easy, but I knew there was no real escape.

For MT, we used different kinds of shoes for different routes and simulations – casual sneakers, hiking boots, snow shoes. Occasionally we even did it barefoot. That, including the rest of our gear, was part of the training – we had to be ready in all types of attire, whether casual or fully suited up in combat gear. Wearing taller boots today would have spared me this possible lecture – but no such luck.

When he saw the mess that was my ankle, now swollen and soaked with blood, he sighed.

At first, it sounded like he was disappointed in me. That alone made me feel awful – Angeal was a good guy, and the last thing I wanted was for him to think less of me.

“That looks serious. Let me use my Cure – no need to go to the infirmary.” He circled me slowly, as if scanning for further injuries, but most of the smaller scrapes from the past few days were well hidden under my clothing.

Then he pulled a glowing green orb from his bag and held it close to my wound. A green light surrounded it, and I watched as the skin pulled back together, clean and whole.

“Thank you.” I bowed slightly as he straightened back up, all the pain ebbing away. It must have healed some of the older scrapes too, even though he’d focused on my foot – I felt completely renewed afterward.

He gave a low hum in reply, then asked, “Have you received your first set of 2nd Class Materia yet?”

Hesitantly, I nodded. "Yes, but I don't take them here with me." We had to keep all aside from Cure in our personal lockers—just to be used for fighting—but I’d figured on this messy parcours it might just slip out of my pocket at some point.

"Hm, very well." His gaze met mine now, then softened visibly.

When I didn’t know what to reply and only looked away, he surprised me by gently ruffling my hair. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

His usually stern voice was also noticeably softer now, and I had to close my eyes for a few seconds when I felt a sting in them. Taking a big breath, I met his gaze with a determined one from my side. "Thank you, sir, I will!"

Somehow, this little exchange had given me a sort of comfort I didn’t know I’d needed.

So I did as I was told and made my way to the bus. Looking back once more, I gave Angeal a grateful wave—one with more meaning than he probably knew it had...

...one that silently thanked him not just for the Cure, but for noticing when I needed someone to care.

The next appointment with Sephiroth a few days later flew by uneventfully. This time, it went without a hitch—though I still wasn’t as proud of my performance as I used to be. After that, no new sessions were scheduled for a while, so I simply fell back into my routine: attending morning classes, going through mandatory trainings, and filling the rest of my time with solo study or sparring in the simulation room.

Zack, once again, was barely around—off on missions, assisting Sephiroth, or spending time with Aerith. And while I knew he had his own life and didn’t owe me anything, it still made things feel... lonely.

On one of those nights, when the silence felt heavier than usual, I messaged Sephiroth.
I hadn’t felt like attending theory classes lately—without any uplifting moments to balance things out, just seeing him in the classroom brought back the wrong thoughts. The kind that hurt.

*Hey, how have you been lately?* I tried.

A simple question, maybe even a hopeful one. Deep down, I just wished we could go back to our good old days, pretending the rest didn’t exist...

To my surprise, this time I got a reply almost immediately.

*Hey. Been busy, a lot of things on my mind. Hope you have been training well. What are you up to so late? Greetings, Sephiroth*

My heart betrayed me by doing a little jolt of happiness. But then my expression dimmed again, remembering which "things" might be weighing on his mind…

Still—he had replied quickly. And he’d asked about me. I couldn’t help but smile, just a little.

*Oh, hope you can resolve those things soon! Yes, been training and studying every day. And, right now, hmm, just cuddled up alone in my warm bed, why? ;)*

I grit my teeth at my own boldness the second I hit send. The winking smiley. Why did I do that?
But I had to try...

No matter the circumstances, no matter how complicated or inappropriate it might have become, I was still in love with the General. He was my first love. And unless I knew with certainty that all hope was gone—I didn’t want to give up.

*Good job, SOLDIER. I checked—next appointment in two days at 2 pm.*

That was all the message said. I stared at the screen, frowning.

He didn’t comment on the last part...

Was that deliberate?

Just as I was about to send a simple confirmation, I noticed he was typing again. I froze.

*And same here, though it's not really warm—the cleaning personnel left the windows open all day while I was out.*

My eyes widened.

Was that... a rope? A subtle invitation? Or was I just imagining things—seeing something I wanted to see?

Still, I had to take the chance.

*Oh, cold? What if someone came over to help you warm up? ;)*

As soon as I hit send, I covered my face with both hands, dragging them down my cheeks as if I could scrub the nerves right out of my skin.

I felt ridiculous. And excited. Embarrassed, too. But mostly... hopeful.

It was just a hint, right? Technically, that message could mean someone comes over to turn up his heater...

To distract myself before anxiety could win, I grabbed one of my training manuals from the nightstand and began revising it. My eyes skimmed the words, but my mind stayed half-attuned to my phone, waiting for his next message.

Minutes passed, and once again, the familiar fear of 'did I go too far?' crept back in.

I tossed and turned in bed, ears straining for the sound of an incoming message...

...but when I finally woke up and checked the time, it was already 3 a.m.

The book, now uncomfortably wedged under my back, was tossed back onto the nightstand before I grabbed my phone.

"0 Unread Messages."

I sighed. Deep down, I hadn't expected a reply anyway. Maybe he’d just fallen asleep right after sending the last one...

It occurred to me then that he’d said “same here” to my 'alone in bed' message. So at the very least, I knew he’d gone to bed alone — at least for now.

There weren’t many women at ShinRa’s headquarters to begin with, outside of some workers, staff, and Turks. Guests were rare — Aerith being the only one I ever really saw. And since I often wandered the premises just to kill time or shop for groceries, I would’ve noticed anything unusual. SOLDIER recruits were always male, and only the higher ranks had visitor privileges.

Still, I kept the phone resting on my chest, just in case...

"Hey, Spike! Have you heard? Seph’s getting married in a few weeks!"

I was in no mood for this kind of nightmare. Groaning, I pressed the pillow over both ears.

"Married, can you believe that? And to think I never even knew they were together until recently!" Zack's voice was muffled through the pillow, but unmistakably his.

'Please stop. I already have enough nightmares like this...'

Then it hit me.

I was awake.

This wasn’t a dream.

Frozen in place, I slowly peeled the pillow away. I should probably respond — say something.

"...what?" I mumbled, still groggy.

"I know, right? He never really talks about her. Then again, he doesn’t share much about his private life in general." Zack was pacing through my room now, arms behind his head like this was just casual news. "I only know she’s a medic from Costa del Sol. Her dad’s the head of some big pharma company."

That much I remembered — she’d been mentioned during one of his missions...

His next question cut straight through me.

"Man, that came out of nowhere. Can’t believe he’s getting married. What do you think, Spike?"

It was like a dagger right to the heart hearing it from someone else, but I couldn’t let that show.

Downplaying it felt like the only thing I could do.

Thus, I started getting up, rubbing my eyes. "I don't know him that well... so I can't say anything about this topic. But yeah, I... also never heard about her."

Maybe denying her still made it feel less real — even though it was about to get too real very soon.

Zack pouted and walked closer to me. "Awww, I thought you guys were texting regularly now! Why say you don't know him well?"

At that, my face heated slightly. In some ways, I definitely knew him better than most... But Zack didn’t need to hear about those.
"That doesn’t mean he talks about himself much. And I mean, yeah, we were chatting regularly — at least until recently..."
I couldn’t stop the disappointment from showing as my head dipped.

Zack turned toward the door again. "Hmm, maybe he's just busy with something. You should poke him again sometime!"

My frown deepened as I got dressed. "Trust me, I tried..."

I shot a glance at my phone, still stubbornly quiet. No reply.

I stared at the silent screen one last time, then slipped the phone into my pocket — unsure if I was still waiting, or finally starting to let this attempt go.

Chapter Text

Another few days passed—quietly—in the Sephiroth department.

With each morning, it felt like a little more of my hope of rekindling what we’d had chipped away, no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it.

Getting no affirmation from him made it increasingly difficult to keep clinging to that hope as stubbornly as I had over the past few weeks—or had it already been months since our first messages?

Even so, I wasn’t ready to give up. I wanted to keep fighting this battle until there was officially nothing left to fight for.

By now, I’d come up with plenty of possible reasons for why he had grown so distant, or why he’d gotten engaged.

Maybe he’d realized we’d crossed a line in what was technically still a purely professional relationship.

But I also kept wondering if someone had seen the messages on his phone. Maybe even his… fiancée. And to prove his loyalty to her, he had proposed.

I knew that if anyone outside his closest circle got a look at our message history, it would land in the wrong hands sooner or later—and then it’d be plastered all over the media as some kind of scandal.

After all, he was one of the most well-known men in the country—if not the entire world—and the vultures would circle him in an instant.

To be honest, I didn’t even know how the system really worked. Would it even be a scandal if he were with a man?

But one thing I did know would definitely cause a stir was him being involved with a student. A 3rd or 2nd Class one, no less—so much lower in rank.

The gap between 1st and 2nd Class was so outrageously wide that whenever I thought of Zack and the freedom he had compared to me, the comparison seemed ridiculous. It was like comparing a single cell—me—to a puppy—Zack—to a fully grown wolf: Sephiroth.

There were so many of 'me'—faceless, disposable, uncertain in every way... while the 1st Class 'puppy' at least showed promise. The potential to one day grow into something even greater.

Now that I thought about it, Angeal and Genesis were Colonels—so there were even more steps beyond 1st Class.

My point being—I was still an absolute nobody in the eyes of society, while every 1st Class member or higher was considered highly reputable and prized.

Thus, I came to the conclusion… that only if I reached 1st Class would my hopes of a future with Sephiroth even begin to feel tangibly realistic.

When I first started down this 'journey', I hadn't really given that kind of future much serious thought. It was more of a 'have fun and see where it takes me' kind of thing—until my feelings grew deeper.

But now, having arrived at this point—where my feelings for him had clearly become what I could only describe as love...

I wanted to do everything for him. With him. I wanted to be there on his good days and bad ones, through his best and worst moments. I wanted to share it all with him—help him, support him, be someone who truly added to his life.

And for that, I knew I’d have to prove myself. Not just once, but every time we met. Every day. I needed to keep pushing forward, closer to 1st Class... and maybe, just maybe, become that person for him.

*Meet me at ShinRa HQ for today's training. You'll be investigating someone in Midgar City near LOVELESS Avenue. Greetings, Sephiroth*

Receiving this message just before FT immediately got me really excited. Especially so after my deep reflection just a while back.

'An investigation? In the city? That sounds promising.'

Since this was the first time I had a mission outside the training halls—out in the actual city—I felt more nervous than usual as I made my way to meet Sephiroth, my emotions a tangle of anticipation and unease.

All of our previous appointments had been just the two of us in one of the training rooms, but this... this felt undeniably more real. And that fact came with a heady mix of excitement and anxiety.

I’d made sure to arrive a few minutes early, just in case there was any kind of briefing beforehand.

Luckily, Sephiroth had arrived ahead of me as well, and I assumed from his posture and general calm that he hadn’t just finished up with another student.

For the briefing itself, he gestured for me to sit down and handed me a slip of paper for taking notes.

"Your task is to patrol the area, question pedestrians, and try to locate the target. Do not engage unless absolutely necessary. The goal is arrest, not conflict. We want to know his motives, if the reports prove valid."

He then pointed at a camera I hadn’t noticed before—one with a strap attached. "You’ll wear this bodycam on your chest, so I can observe the situation remotely. You’ll also be equipped with an earpiece so we can stay in contact throughout. Any questions?"

While I’d had several questions while listening, now—thanks to my nerves—none of them came to mind. "Uh, so... I just walk around and ask pedestrians if they've seen anything unusual?"

"Correct," he nodded crisply. "Pay attention to their reactions as well. Sometimes just the sight of a SOLDIER is enough to provoke something. But remember—not everyone is a fan of ShinRa, so don't act hastily. If you sense something off, contact me first. We don’t know if the target is armed—nothing’s been reported—but weapons could be concealed. Could also be Materia."

I nodded again. "Understood. I'm guessing I can ask for clarification as I go? Also... what if I don’t find him?"

"Yes, you can." Sephiroth now moved to get up, putting on a headset and grabbing a laptop. "And in that case, he's either moved on to another part of the city and we'll have to wait for word of him, or he might have caused other kinds of trouble that warranted a Military Police arrest. There were sightings on three different days so far, so we have reason to believe he did not just have a bad day or one bad run-in with one of us."

I noted a few more things down before pocketing my small paper. After that, I slid into the military-grade vest that ShinRa had issued for this mission. It felt heavy—definitely lined with some kind of plating for bullet protection or similar.

Once I was suited up, Sephiroth stepped closer with the camera.

That’s when I noticed the belt again—it was supposed to go around my chest...

I couldn’t fasten that thing myself, not with the clasp sitting on my back. Which meant...

I stayed still and waited, quietly hoping he would step closer and wrap it around me.

I closed my eyes.

Any kind of touch, even just a brush of his hand, would have felt like more than I deserved at this point. It had been so long since I’d felt any actual warmth from him. So long since a hug. Now, the anticipation of something—even just a neutral contact—made my chest tighten.

'Snap.'

A dull pressure settled against my sternum, and then—

It was done.

When I opened my eyes again, Sephiroth was already leaning back, the strap in his hand.

I looked down in confusion.

The camera had slotted perfectly into a compartment built into the vest—no belt needed after all. He’d just pressed it into place.

'Darn...' I thought bitterly, unable to hide my disappointment—thankfully, his back was turned.

So much for that moment.

I sighed quietly in defeat. It hadn’t even been his hand that touched me—just the camera. I glanced at the unused belt, realizing it was probably intended for a different kind of suit, one without the built-in camera mold.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to snap back into focus.

Find the suspect. Don’t engage unless necessary. Let ShinRa or the MP handle the aftermath. Return safely. That’s it.

By now, Sephiroth had taken his place at the surveillance station, which had two extra screens beside the laptop. I figured those were linked to other cameras around the area, so he could guide me if needed.

Knowing he’d be watching over me gave me a small sense of reassurance. I gave him a quick thumbs-up, which he returned. "Best of luck."

I nodded, turned around, and headed toward the exit.

"Off we go..." I murmured under my breath, both eager and nervous for my first real mission.

Chapter Text

Walking through the streets of upper city on a mission like this felt a lot different than it did during my usual, casual outings. Now that I was wearing this very official-looking outfit with a bulletproof vest and my sword strapped to my back, I imagined I felt a lot more eyes on me than usual.

As Sephiroth had explained, most people simply acted like they were used to seeing us patrol for their safety, so they paid me no mind.

Some others I encountered seemed to be part of fanclubs—either for ShinRa in general, or for SOLDIER specifically. A few men admired us without wanting to enlist themselves, yet still supported us... and then, there were the fangirls—well, fan-women mostly. Their ages seemed to range from what I’d guess was 15 to well over 60, and they were huddled in little groups, swooning over Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, 1st Class members, or the Turks.

Since they were openly chattering about their adoration for their respective idols, it was clear none of them were the spy in question. Unless he had spontaneously been converted...

Speaking of converted—at some point, a member of the “Sephiroth Fanclub” and one from the “Genesis Fanclub” both approached me to try and sell me on joining their ranks, offering weekly newsletters, daily quotes, and... cooking recipes?

I declined politely, since a) I was on a mission, and b) it threw me off just how many truly enthusiastic fans were out there. And that was only from the groups I’d happened to stumble across today...

A quiet chuckle from the earbud hidden beneath my hair let me know the General was enjoying my mild confusion, and I almost wanted to blow into the microphone tucked into the collar of my uniform.

After walking for a few more minutes, a teenage girl suddenly came running right at me. “Mister SOLDIER! Can you help me please? Snuffy is up on that garage and can’t get back down!” She frantically pointed toward what I assumed was the general direction of said garage.

I took a quick glance around—still mindful of the mission—but spotted nothing suspicious in the expressions of the passersby who were watching us.

So I responded, “Snuffy? Your dog...?” The name sounded more like something you’d give a dog, though I wasn’t sure how those ended up on garages...

“No! Snuffy—or Zack—is my black, scruffy cat! I named him after your fellow SOLDIER, Zack Fair! Maybe you know him!” The brunette looked up at me with glowing, pleading eyes and tugged lightly at my hand.

I barely held back a snort when I heard Snuffy’s real name. This was just too silly... though scruffy and black-furred sounded about right.

Still, I followed her lead and let her guide me to the garage.

When I looked up, I had to crane my neck—this wasn’t a regular garage. It looked more like a small multi-story car park, maybe two stories tall...

“Snuffy! Come here, boy!” The girl next to me tried to cheer him on, and indeed, a tuft of black fur appeared over the edge of the roof, followed by two blue eyes blinking open.

I assumed she’d already tried to coax him into jumping down into her arms—though, admittedly, from that height... even I wouldn’t have jumped if I were a cat.

Instead of leaping, her feline friend started pacing restlessly along the edge, letting out the occasional sad meow.

Since Sephiroth didn’t say anything through the earpiece, I figured it was okay to try and help, so I started scanning the area for a way up.

While my Mako treatment had definitely boosted my physical abilities—including jumping—I was a hundred percent sure that two stories was still out of reach. I’d need another solution.

The garage itself seemed to be attached to a company building, so getting access from the inside was unlikely, and its sides and back offered no real footholds. When I returned to the girl, she told me he must have climbed up using the small pipes connecting the surrounding buildings. Small—too small for me—but...

I followed the piping and saw that it led to a smaller garage next to the taller one. There, the pipes were thicker and ran sturdily into the ground.

“I’ll try it from here,” I told her, now easily managing to scale the sturdier pipes to get on top of the smaller garage.

From there, I walked to the ledge and looked across. There was still a gap of around five meters—about three of which were upwards.

Judging by my most recent training stats, I’d last managed a vertical leap of 2.5 meters. I figured it might just work. And if not, I’d grab the ledge and pull myself up... hopefully. The fall wouldn’t be pleasant.

“Careful now. Focus on your leg muscles.” Sephiroth’s voice filtered through the earpiece and at this very moment, it somehow felt like a guardian watching over me.

“Got it, thanks,” I muttered, then turned my full attention to calculating the optimal jump.

One last glance at the girl below—hands clasped, watching anxiously—and I leapt.

As I pushed off, I realized just how much strength my legs had gained lately. The distance passed beneath me in a rush of air, and I landed solidly.

I hadn’t noticed the small crowd forming until I heard a collective gasp ripple through them when I made the jump.

That’s when I also remembered I was wearing the heavy, military-issued vest... which I hadn’t even accounted for. Still, it had worked out.

Back to the task at hand—I looked around until I spotted a black blur peeking out from behind a rooftop vent. Not having much experience with cats, I at least knew to get down on their level first. I lowered myself to my knees and held out a hand.

“Hey there... wanna come with me?” I asked gently, waiting patiently as he approached with hesitant steps.

When he reached my hand, Snuffy gave it a sniff before letting me pet the side of his head. When he moved closer, I carefully slipped one hand under his chest. Since he didn’t resist, I went ahead and scooped him up into both arms. Still no protest.

Looking back toward the way I’d come, I noticed the drop looked a lot higher from this angle than it had from the other side...

“You can do it, Mr. SOLDIER—and Snuffy!” the girl called out from below, cheering us both on.

I couldn’t falter now—not after coming this far.

“Hold on tight now, Zack,” I said to the cat, assuming he could somehow understand me. A meow of approval followed, which was exactly what I’d been hoping for, silly as it was.

With one more carefully calculated leap, I landed back on the smaller garage, opting not to roll to absorb the impact—just to keep the cat safe. My legs definitely felt it this time, but I didn’t let it show.

A wave of cheers rose from below as I turned to face the crowd—cat now one step closer to safety. The girl had already run up to the pipes I’d climbed earlier and was holding out her arms.

Climbing halfway down, I gently passed Snuffy—Zack—into her grasp, where he happily nestled in. She hugged him tight, thanking me over and over, saying how glad she was that SOLDIERs were always watching out for people like her. The cat leaned toward me again to nuzzle against my hand, asking for one last round of pets.

Before I could step back, the girl tilted her head up at me. “What’s your name, mister?”

I stopped and blinked. “…Strife. Cloud Strife. Why?”

Her face lit up in a wide, earnest grin. “Because! I’m gonna name my next pet after you then.”

Heat crept up my neck, and I scratched awkwardly at the side of my cheek. “…That so?”

She nodded with such conviction that I could only let out a small, sheepish laugh before turning my attention back to the street around us.

By now, a few passerby had started taking photos, and some even stepped up to praise me directly. I just gave a polite wave and scratched the back of my head, slightly embarrassed by all the ruckus.

Still, my eyes scanned the crowd one more time, looking for anything—or anyone—suspicious.

Thinking about it, this kind of commotion might actually attract someone who disliked ShinRa, so maybe the detour hadn’t been so off-track after all.

“Good job,” Sephiroth commented through the earpiece as I peeled away from the gathering and continued down the street.

Even if this had only been a side-thing... it already felt like I’d accomplished something worthwhile on this mission.

Chapter Text

I kept briefly interviewing more pedestrians as I made my way through the streets—still nothing out of the ordinary, and no clues.

Some people I passed whispered among themselves, others glared down from windows, but most were either neutral or even excited to see me. Word of my cat rescue had apparently gotten around; I received a few pats on the back or shoulder here and there—hopefully people were being mindful of the sword on my back.

When I finally got a clue, it was that the man had most recently been bothering some people further down the road I was already heading toward, which sounded promising.

What didn’t sound promising, however, were the agitated screeches coming from a nearby side street—something that sounded like a domestic dispute.

While those weren’t usually my business, there was something unusual about this one... The way a woman shrieked sounded less like an argument and more like a banshee wailing.

Turning into the street, I spotted a woman with her back to me, standing on a house’s porch. Opposite her stood a man, shielding a small child behind him. The woman was shouting profanities—something about household money—so I figured it was a couple fighting, with their kid caught in the middle.

“Honey, please, we already talked about this...” the man offered, taking a hesitant step toward her—only to be met with a slap across the face that echoed down the alley.

I stepped closer without meaning to—and that’s when I noticed the man was already covered in bruises.

“What kind of husband are you?! You’re hiding your income from me, for what?! Food?!” she shrieked, confirming my guess.

When the child started crying and clutched the man’s legs tighter, Sephiroth’s voice came through the earbud: “Do not engage yet. I have notified the local authorities.”

Her swaying posture and erratic tone told me she was at least drunk—if not on something stronger. I wasn’t sure how detailed the bodycam footage was, or whether the General could clearly see the signs, so I leaned toward the mic to whisper, “Call the unit specialized in substance abuse. I have reason to believe she’s intoxicated—possibly drugged.”

“Roger. Engage if it escalates.” A small buzz followed as his voice cut out again.

Just then, the woman lunged at her husband, causing him to stumble back and nearly drag the child down with him. The kid's sobs rose to a distressed wail.

Without a second thought, I moved in, stepping between the couple with my arms stretched wide to block her path.

When she gave me a wild, exasperated look—her pupils visibly dilated—I kept my tone calm as I spoke:

"Enough. Don’t you see your child is upset?"

Her mood shifted immediately. “Tch, what’s it to you?”

“I’m here to bring justice.”

That line slipped out before I had a chance to think of anything better, but I didn’t let my expression falter. This didn't feel like a situation that would allow me to be uncertain, even if I had to fake confidence to some degree.

Again, her demeanor flipped. “Then bring justice to this!”

She yanked something from behind her back—I braced for a knife, stepping protectively in front of the man and child—but what she pulled out was a syringe.

That threw me off slightly. Whatever was in it, I was pretty sure I didn’t want it anywhere near me.

Luckily, I dodged just in time—thanking my SOLDIER reflexes. In the same moment, I caught her wrist and twisted it to neutralize the syringe hand. When she flailed at me with her other arm, I caught that one too and pinned both of her wrists together.

With her momentarily in check, I turned to the man and child, who were slowly getting to their feet but still shielding themselves.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked, then looked to the man directly. "Take your kid—we’ve already contacted medical authorities."

A sharp, sudden pain made me whip my head around. The woman had leaned in and was now biting my uncovered wrist—hard.

Despite the searing pain of her teeth sinking into my skin, I refused to let go. I’d never been bitten by a person before, but this seemed... unusually strong. Possibly enhancement drugs?

And she was still gripping the syringe.

With a sharp knee to her liver, I managed to make her drop it. The blow knocked the wind out of her too, and she slumped to the ground. I didn’t waste the opportunity: I kicked the needle far away toward a nearby pile of leaves. With any luck, she wouldn’t be able to find it again, if it came down to that.

What I hadn’t paid close enough attention to, however, was her wrists. Thinking she was too dazed to resist, I’d loosened my grip—and with near-superhuman strength, she suddenly surged up and bolted down the street toward the river.

A bout of panic surged through me.

'Now this might be a problem...'

I immediately gave chase and called into my mic. “Send the troops down LOVELESS Avenue—she’s heading for the riverside!”

I tried to sound composed, but I was rattled. Who knew what else she had on her—more syringes, maybe something worse?

But what she actually did shocked me.

She stopped right at the edge of the riverside railing—then leapt over it, landing behind the metal fence.

“You scum leave my family alone or I will jump!” she screamed, clinging to the railing. “You don’t want me to drown, do you, you so-called ‘justice-bringers’?”

Now I had to take a few seconds to process the situation first, so my eyes wandered.

The fact that she was holding on with both hands—though they were shaking—told me something important.

I approached slowly, stopping as soon as one of her hands slipped just slightly from the rail.

“We’re here to help your family,” I said gently. “Not to punish anyone.”

Her cry echoed across the canal. “You’re lying! You’ll lock me up and take my child!”

I raised both hands into a non-threatening stance and carefully took another step forward. “I only called the medical unit, not the military police.”

She didn’t shift as I inched closer, so I extended one hand slowly in her direction.

“Leave!” she shrieked, leaning back to glance down at the icy water below. Then I saw her feet shift again, edging closer to the drop.

“You don’t really want to do that.”

I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded. Meanwhile, my mind was racing—trying to calculate if I could survive a dive with this heavy protective vest still on. There was no quick-release, no ladders nearby, and possibly a strong undercurrent. If she jumped... and I had to follow...

I really didn’t want to find out that way.

A whimper from her direction snapped me back to focus. Tears were streaming down her face, her whole body trembling.

"Everything will get better for your family, I promise you. Those two really care about you."

One of her legs started to move as she attempted to lift it back over the railing.

To my relief, I finally seemed to have gotten through to her—or maybe the drugs were wearing off.

But just as she shifted forward, her other foot slipped on the slightly icy surface, and she began to fall backward.

With a Chocobo’s speed, I lunged forward and grabbed her by the arm, pouring every ounce of strength I had into keeping us from toppling over.

Unfortunately, I had chosen the arm with the bite wound, and each second I held her sent searing pain shooting through my wrist.

Still, I didn’t let go. Our eyes met—hers wide with fear, mine locked in determination.

"Grab onto me with your other arm," I winced, one eye clenched shut as I tried to shift my weight on the slick ground.

As soon as I felt it was safe, I gave one big yank and pulled her over the railing. We both landed on the ground beside each other, breathless.

Something told me she wouldn’t run again, and I allowed myself a breath of relief.

Once she caught her breath, her tear-filled eyes turned toward me.

"Why did you save me? After I said and did all those things to you..." Her gaze shifted to my wrist, where the bite marks were still vivid and bleeding.

"Is a reason needed? Reasons for hurting are many—but no reason is needed to save someone." I spoke from the heart.

Now I realized I hadn’t even hesitated.

She broke down crying again—but this time, I could swear they were tears of relief.

That’s when I finally heard the approaching sirens of ShinRa’s medical unit from all around us.

I quickly briefed them on what had happened, and it seemed Sephiroth had already done his part to ensure she wouldn't be arrested. A specialized medical team took her into custody instead.

I rode with them back to where her family had been waiting to update them on her condition.

They were told she would receive a full check-up, followed by detox and rehabilitation for drugs and alcohol, after which she would be reunited with them. They were also offered a counselor—someone who would first support them and later work with the whole family to help things return to normal.

In the moment, I hadn’t even known such a support program existed—but my bluff had turned out to be real.

After everything was squared away, one of the medics noticed my injury.

"I'm going to have to heal this, though, sir," she said politely, taking out a Cure Materia.

I already began to decline, but she cut me off. “Human bites are nasty. They carry a lot of bacteria. If you leave it untreated, it can lead to serious infections—even septic shock. We don’t want that to happen, hm?”

The way she put it left me with no argument. That definitely wasn’t how I wanted my life—or career—to end. I'd figured it wasn't that bad, thinking back to the childhood play-fights I’d had... though no one had ever bitten me to the bone before.

I watched as the green glow of the spell engulfed my wrist, soothing the pain and closing the wound in seconds.

Just as I relaxed, I noticed movement from the corner of my eye.

Someone was sprinting straight at us, yelling profanities, and before I could even process it, they began attacking one of the ShinRa medics with their fists.

They didn’t get far.

I was there in an instant, striking the back of his neck with precision and knocking him out cold.

Now that I could see him properly, I noticed his arms were covered in anti-ShinRa tattoos. A quick pat-down revealed a pocketknife in his back pocket.

"Almost forgot about him," I muttered mostly to myself, though Sephiroth’s quiet chuckle came through the earpiece in response.

"One arrest tonight, after all."

The man was loaded into a different vehicle, cuffed and unconscious. I turned back toward the family standing by the truck where the woman was being treated.

They thanked the team and, eventually, me as well.

"Will Mama be alright?" The little boy looked up at me with teary eyes, visibly shaken by everything that had happened.

"Yeah," I reassured him gently. "They’re gonna help her at the hospital. She was just very sick. It might take a while, but then she’ll be nice again."

I hadn’t spoken to a child in a while, but I hoped it got the message across.

"Aw, thank you, big SOLDIER! One day, I want to be just like you!" he beamed, hugging my leg. I crouched down and gently patted his head while his father stood behind him, giving me a respectful bow.

The trucks began finishing up their work, the medics and staff preparing to leave after collecting the family’s information and the tossed syringe for testing.

"Excellent work, SOLDIER. Mission complete. Return to base." Sephiroth’s voice came through one final time, calm and commanding.

I gave one last look at the scene, then quickly joined one of the trucks headed back to HQ.

Arriving there, Sephiroth was already waiting—his notepad and laptop still close by.

"Great job once more. Marked it down as completed with several bonus points for civil courage." While his eyes stayed on his notes, I still felt myself getting flustered.

"Just did what I felt was right. And it worked out somehow..." I scratched the back of my neck, only now remembering that I still had the armor on.

"No need to be humble. You did really well. I’ve seen plenty of similar situations escalate when the recruit panicked or responded poorly. You managed to de-escalate everything with little to no help—so the praise is warranted." He finally looked up at me, his eyes sincere.

A bit overwhelmed, I looked away briefly before letting my gaze return to his. "In that case, thank you, Sir."

I watched him set down his things, then reach forward to detach the camera from my vest. He placed it onto the desk with care.

That nervous feeling returned. All this praise... it almost sounded like a perfect opportunity...

"Is that it for today, then?" I asked, watching him closely for any kind of sign.

His eyes flashed a brighter green for the briefest moment before he replied, "What, you want more?"

My mind was far from the mission now, and I hadn’t even noticed I’d stepped closer—until I realized I was now only one step away from the General.

"... Maybe..." I murmured, voice caught between a whisper and a mumble, lips slightly parted as my eyes locked onto his.

Sephiroth looked down at me for a few long seconds, his gaze unreadable...

I held my breath, waiting eagerly—

—before he turned around, only the hem of his coat brushing past me.

"I’ll see what I can do for you on our next appointment, then."

A soft sigh escaped me, unable to hide the disappointment as I watched him gather the last of his things from the desk.

"Late for my meeting now. I’ll text you. Take care on your way home," he said, offering a small wave before leaving me alone in the office.

My shoulders sagged immediately.

'He was so proud of me this time... I really thought...'

A sting rose in the corner of my eyes. It had felt so fitting this time...

And yet, there I was, standing alone in the room once again.

When I glanced at the clock, I saw we’d indeed run a few minutes longer than usual for a Field Training.

'Fair, then, I guess...'

On my way back, I walked with my arms crossed behind my head, wondering what exactly he’d meant with that final line before leaving...

Since it had been said while I was standing so close to him—almost in the context of a hug—I allowed myself to get my hopes up again.

'On' our next appointment?

The way he’d worded it... it sounded like he knew exactly what I’d wanted. And that it would happen during our next appointment—whatever it was.

If it had been about the mission, he would’ve said 'for our next appointment', right?

Then again... maybe he’d just said it in passing.

Honestly, I didn’t know what to make of it.

I would have to wait to find out...

Chapter Text

When I got back, I was wondering if Zack was there. I had gotten used to living with him and enjoyed his company when he was around—but now that he had his girlfriend, he spent considerably more time at her place or out with her in general.

While I did like my time alone, I also had to admit I missed his antics when I hadn’t seen him for a while.

So I was glad that, when I opened the door to the apartment, I found a mop of black on the large sofa...

Next to him, however, was another head of dark hair.

Both men turned toward me, and Zack was the first to jump up and welcome me home properly. "Spike! How was your training? Missed ya!"

I smiled, admittedly enjoying his hug today, and hugged back. "Was great, we were out for a mission in Loveless Avenue."

"Oooh! Do tell more!" He dragged me toward the sofa, where Angeal had already gotten up to give me a by-now less awkward hug. The contrast between his stern, commanding self during MT and his private self was still a little jarring—but he wasn’t the only instructor with that “two faces” thing going for him...

Now I also noticed the two had been watching a movie, currently paused on the TV.

"No Aerith tonight?" I asked as I sat down on the smaller couch to Zack's right, so the other two could share the big one again.

My friend’s face fell instantly as he started rubbing fake tears from his eyes, then leaned against Angeal for comfort. "No, she ditched me today... Went out with her mom to visit some family friends." He withdrew slightly, and I noticed Angeal’s hand hovering behind his back—uncertain whether to comfort him.

"You couldn’t come along?" I immediately regretted asking that when Zack dramatically flopped back into Angeal’s arms. "That's what I asked her too! But she said they’d just be doing girly things like cooking, dressing up, and watching chick-flicks that I wouldn’t enjoy anyway." He sighed, head resting against the instructor’s chest, eyes on the ceiling. "I didn’t prod further after that, since we've otherwise been seeing each other almost daily lately."

I smiled, noticing the instructor was now gently brushing Zack’s hair. "Well, they’ve got their girls’ night... and now we’ve got our... boys’ night, I suppose."

When Zack’s face visibly relaxed, Angeal pulled his hand away again—probably remembering the "purring incident."

"You’re right. Anyway, want me to fix you a drink? We got, umm, various juices, iced teas, tonic water, Aloe Vera juice..."

As he rambled on, I had to chuckle. "Aloe Vera? No beers? That’s new." I could definitely see the influence...

Closest to Angeal, I spotted a bitter lemon tonic water. Fitting... Zack, on the other hand, seemed to be championing the Aloe Vera drink.

"What! It might be a bit slimy, but it’s really healthy! Beers aren’t all that good for you to have often, I recently heard."

'I wonder from whom...' I thought, watching Zack blow up his cheeks before chuckling and sitting up again.

When I grinned at Angeal as a result of his confused expression, he shot me a glare.

While I was used to Zack’s touchy-feely nature, I figured not everyone handled it the same way. Angeal always seemed unsure of what to do—at times even flustered—but I somehow found that kind of endearing from such a usually stern man.

"Oh! Before I press play again, tell us about the mission today!" Zack eagerly leaned toward my couch.

"Calm down, Puppy, you didn’t even give him time to get a drink yet." Angeal gently pulled him back by the shoulder.

I chuckled. "I’ll get one real quick, then."

After preparing a peach-flavored iced tea with some Aloe Vera, I summed up my experience—including the abusive mother under the influence. Having seen her, I was glad in a way that nobody was drinking tonight.
'Even though a small drink here and there doesn't harm anyone,' I thought, though I didn't miss it much. Slight buzz or not—being with friends was the real treasure.

While Angeal only pursed his lips with an impressed nod when hearing about my FT, Zack couldn’t help but quickly lean over to ruffle my hair. "Woah, Spike, that's awesome! Your first real mission, and then such a success! Assisting civilians, too! Great job!"

Scratching the back of my neck, I laughed sheepishly. "I just did what felt right, that's all."

"No need to be so humble. Courage like that is what we're looking for here in the SOLDIER program, after all."
Even Angeal praised me now, lifting his glass in my direction. He, too, had called me humble...

I raised my own glass with a bit of hesitation, followed by Zack, and we all clinked our glasses in the middle, then took a sip.

As a little quip, I quickly mentioned saving someone’s pet in distress as well.

"Zack—a cat? Not a puppy? Disappointing." Angeal commented dryly on that part, receiving a small glare from our friend.
"Oi!"

Zack continued playing the movie after—it seemed like just another action flick, which were always entertaining to some degree, so I never minded them.

It felt nice to just rest your head after an eventful day, especially if it was with your friends. That alone always took some weight off my shoulders, even if it hadn’t happened often lately. My past few days had mostly been spent alone when it came to free time, so this was a nice reprieve.

By the time the credits started rolling, I noticed that I had briefly drifted off. Leaning back a little too far on this cozy couch had apparently been a mistake...

Glancing over to Angeal and Zack, I found the latter comfortably snuggled into the instructor’s chest, who was lazily scratching our friend’s lower back.

When his eyes noticed my state of awakeness, however, his arm quickly flicked up and draped itself over the sofa’s back instead. He let out a soft cough before mumbling quietly, "He’s had a long day."

I lifted my hand to quiet my chuckle as well as to stifle a yawn. "Ask me about it..."

When Angeal tried moving even the slightest bit in order to get up, Zack started mumbling something unintelligible immediately and clung to him more tightly.

I had to muffle another chuckle at that. "Were you planning on staying the night, by any chance?"

The taller man now gently tried prying Zack off him with his hands, which only backfired once more with an even tighter hug around his torso, followed by an angry mumble. Now I also noticed that my friend’s mouth had left a wet spot on the instructor’s shirt from where he had drooled in his sleep.

"That wasn’t the plan, no. But when do things ever go to plan with this man..."

He now seemed to resign himself to his role as a pillow and leaned into the stack of actual pillows on the side, shortly followed by Zack happily snuggling up to him.

While Zack had fallen asleep on or near me a few times before, I’d always managed to gently nudge him awake eventually. Since he’d never been entangled with me like this, it had usually been a relatively easy feat, despite him being a deep sleeper.
"Yeah, I know what you mean."

Still, I felt like one thing was missing, so I quickly rushed into Zack’s bedroom and emerged with what I’d been looking for.

Before Angeal could say something, I draped Zack’s warm blanket over the both of them, only leaving their heads sticking out. Well, most of their heads...

The instructor also had his lips covered, so I wasn’t sure whether he’d mumbled a "thanks" or a "what" in reply to my action—but I’d take it as a "thanks." His face was visibly relaxed, usually hardened features softening when he took a deep breath through his nose. I wasn’t sure what exactly relaxed him so much just then, but ShinRa’s pleasant laundry detergent surely also played a role in it.

"Good night, then!" I grinned and waved before turning off the remaining lights near the TV and heading to my room.

All in all, this had still been a pleasant day, and I replayed some of the successful moments in my head before I too drifted off...

Chapter Text

The next day, I woke up to an SMS from the General with an appointment, mentioning the next one would be four days from then, and in the evening.

Since it'd been way too long since our last... playful messages, I chose to reply with a teasing one.

*Oh? What will we be doing so late in the evening? ;)*

Checking the time he'd sent—5 pm—it wasn’t that late, but I was really just trying to grasp at straws here.

I made sure to get dressed slowly for at least a few minutes, but when I still hadn’t received a reply after the 'acceptable' time to get dressed had run out, I sighed and decided to go to the common room instead.

There I found Angeal leaning against the kitchen counter, next to Zack who wore a serious expression.

"Understood, I will inform him. Bye."
With that, he put his phone away and turned towards me with an unreadable expression that was extremely unusual for him.

That in itself worried me already...

"Spike... I'm sorry," he started, and my heart skipped a beat instantly when I saw my friend’s face fall and head slump down.

Thoughts began racing through my head immediately.

Sorry for what? His body language hinted at something really serious.

'Did something happen to the family from yesterday? Did someone read my inappropriate messages with Sephiroth? Was I going to be discharged dishonorably? Or something completely different... did something happen to my mother?'

The shock on my face must have been very grave, because it was Angeal who ended up poking Zack to finally tell me.

"Sorry, just didn’t know how to say it, but... The flatmate who was supposed to live here with you, he..."

My friend trailed off, starting to move up and down near the kitchen isle while pulling his hair. When he finally stopped, his eyes wore a certain kind of sadness.

"He got badly injured in the CdS mission and was in the hospital until now..."

I noticed the breath hitch in his throat and could already tell what was about to follow... and something inside my stomach churned.

"We just got the call that he didn’t make it."

My eyes widened, lips parting involuntarily.

While I hadn’t even met said flatmate yet, hearing this was still a shock to me.

A human life lost in a mission, just like that...

There in one moment, gone in the other.

It brought me back to this reality instantly, grounding me.

Now my own hand slid into my hair as if to help steady my head up as I leaned into it.

This moment really made me realize something...

That was...

So far I’d spent my months here thinking about this whole training mostly as, well, training... and not often taken into consideration why we were preparing so much.

For the real battlefield, the real dangers in the world.

Noticing I had stopped breathing for a few seconds, I tried to refocus.

On him.

Since he was... No, he'd been my flatmate, he was also a 2nd Class SOLDIER... like me.

My breath hitched in my throat just enough for me alone to notice.

'It could have been me...'

My mouth had formed a thin line at some point, though, now I had to speak up.

"Wow, I... I’m so sorry."

I gave a glance to both men, whose eyes reflected my current mood—although both had been here a lot longer than I and experienced something like this on the regular. At least more regularly than I ever had before.

"I know you probably didn’t know him yet, but I just had to let you know since he was gonna be your flatmate..." My friend had his eyebrows drawn together.

"I appreciate it." I hesitated before asking the next thing, but I knew it would bug me if I didn’t. "What happened, if I may ask?"

Angeal now also stepped a bit closer to me, and behind Zack. "While it was a siege as they were making arrangements—which is not inherently dangerous—he actually fell victim to an enemy monster attack while on patrol alone at night. He was injured near his heart and as a result suffered from various heart problems. Materia can heal superficial wounds, but organs are another story... He passed away before the donor heart from ShinRa could get to him."

My head sank, hearing that. Even with all this technology, some things were still not solvable, it seemed.

"My condolences..." I looked up again with a sincere glance in my eyes.

Now I wondered if that could have been avoided... "Are patrols always done alone?"

The instructor shook his head. "He was paired in a tent with a 1st Class—they were responsible for that area—but the other SOLDIER was in negotiations with the higher-ups at that point, so your flatmate figured he’d just do a quick round alone to secure the nearby premises. Unfortunately, even in that short time period, he got ambushed from behind and barely managed to fight them off. He radioed his colleagues right after so they managed to get him stable enough for transport to the nearest hospital."

I nodded, just wanting to confirm for myself that this accident had been something some sort of avoidable. If for nothing else, then for my own inner peace.

"It was an unusually large fiend, way bigger than the normal size of that breed, so it really was ruled as a freak accident in the end. Well, at least within ShinRa—the families were of course told he had fallen bravely in battle against the enemy, and they will get full compensation."

My face must have been pale as chalk at that point, and I even flinched when Zack stepped closer to offer me a hand on my shoulder.

"It's never gonna be easy to lose anyone, so gotta appreciate all the time we got, and also with each other."

After that, he smiled warmly, to which I nodded.

"Thank you." I smiled back at him and nodded at Angeal as well. "I just wanted to know. What to avoid, and to possibly prepare for."

There was a brief silence.

"You can't prepare for everything," the tall instructor stated calmly. "Nobody's promised tomorrow."

His gaze softened then, which somehow immediately calmed my nerves through this harsh topic before he continued.

"... that's why we'll just make the best out of the time we have."

He put the most emphasis on that last part, eyes flaring with a certain passion.

I swallowed quietly and nodded once more, then watched Angeal putting on his jacket, followed by Zack.

"Gotta run now, we got a meeting with Seph and the Turks!"

Both of them gave me a parting hug before disappearing through the door.

The rest of my day was spent in a somewhat somber mood—especially after I got back home from MT later and found myself alone once more.

When I looked at Zack's temporary room, I saw a stranger standing there, before vanishing into thin air.

I imagined what it would have been like if I had met him first, and then lost him.

Maybe even befriended him and then lost him.

Or if it had been Kunsel, or even Zack himself...

No way I could have stayed as relatively 'calm and collected' as I might have seemed on the outside this morning then,—it would have broken my heart...

Right there, I noticed that those thoughts were not doing me any good. They wouldn't change anything, they wouldn't bring him back either...
Looking at the way Zack and Angeal had ended the conversation on a positive note, I knew exactly how they managed to handle such situations.

Look forward, not back—treasure what you have right now.

Even still, this was a first to me, so I knew I wasn't meant to handle it flawlessly instantly.

While I had kept my calm, inside me had been a raging storm of thoughts and worries.

Still, I was proud I hadn't panicked and let it show.

Now I also realized that neither Zack nor Angeal had ever mentioned his name.

They were probably aware that I didn't know it, but since they'd just had a call regarding him, they had to.

Which meant... They probably wanted to shield me in some way.

If I didn't know his name, it would be less personal immediately.

Perhaps even less painful.

A small smile graced my lips, in some strange way grateful they were looking out for me.

Just then, a buzzing of my phone brought me back to reality...

The first thing I saw was my teasing message from this morning.

*Oh? What will we be doing so late in the evening? ;)*

I rolled my eyes in hindsight, but his reply...

*Well, Field Training for one...*

My eyes widened immediately, sensing an opportunity.

Since I was in bed already and all covered up, I figured Sephiroth might just be free to text right now... if he wanted to.

*... and...? ;)* I tried, already feeling like I'd forgotten how to tease. But since it had been weeks at this point, I honestly felt like I needed to test the waters first.

While I kept seeing his status say "online" for the next several minutes, he still didn't reply to me.

A few minutes later, and I already started reading annoyance into the three dots he'd added at the end of his message, even though it didn't necessarily mean that.

'This man is just too hard to read...' I crossed my arms behind my head, staring at the ceiling while keeping my phone on my chest.

I honestly missed our shenanigans too much for my own good.
Those sneaky, teasing and... pleasing messages had probably been the most excited I'd been in a long time, if not, ever...

After a while of tossing, turning and waiting, my mind drifted back to my flatmate.

While he had gone against instructions, I still felt that given his situation, I might have done the same.
Just a quick lap around the campsite, or whatever their setup there had been... I would have likely felt that it would be something I could handle alone.

But then, getting attacked by an unusually large fiend... that was something almost unheard of.
While there had been a legend of an unusually large Roc on top of Mt Nibel that was 5 times the size of an already large Roc... but, at the end of the day, it had probably been just that. A legend.
Something to scare children with to keep them from climbing the mountain alone.

Still, I felt like mutations could happen naturally. Or, for all I knew, hail from Mako-exposure if there was a reactor nearby, from human experiments, or something beyond my imagination.

When I checked the phone and it still showed no new message, I curled in on myself.

What if my flatmate's family was still waiting for a message from him?

Or what if they were staring at his name in their contacts now, knowing he would never message them again?

That thought left a sharp bite in my eyes.

It was hard to keep your mind on the positive side if things like that could happen to your loved ones when out on missions—or even just out in the wild... or in the city like I had been during my previous mission.

No matter what, that topic didn’t let go of me as much as I tried to refocus on Zack’s and Angeal’s motivating words to focus on what you had in your here and now.

Thus, it took quite a restless while before I finally drifted off into sleep...